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diff --git a/16478-8.txt b/16478-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b2a129 --- /dev/null +++ b/16478-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,29191 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Records of a Girlhood, by Frances Ann Kemble + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Records of a Girlhood + +Author: Frances Ann Kemble + +Release Date: August 8, 2005 [EBook #16478] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RECORDS OF A GIRLHOOD *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell, Louise Pryor and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +[Transcriber's note: The spellings in this book are inconsistent in +the original, and have not been corrected except in the index as +explicitly noted below.] + +[Illustration: Fanny Kemble] + + + + +RECORDS OF A GIRLHOOD + +BY + +FRANCES ANN KEMBLE + +_SECOND EDITION._ + +[Illustration] + +NEW YORK +HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY +1880. + + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1879, +BY +HENRY HOLT & CO. + + +JOHN A. GRAY, Agent, +TYPE-SETTING MACHINERY, +16 & 18 JACOB STREET, +NEW YORK. + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE. + + +Considerable portions of this work originally appeared in the _Atlantic +Monthly_, but there is added to these a large amount of new matter not +hitherto published, and the whole work has been thoroughly revised. + + + + +RECORDS OF A GIRLHOOD. + +CHAPTER I. + + +A few years ago I received from a friend to whom they had been addressed +a collection of my own letters, written during a period of forty years, +and amounting to thousands--a history of my life. + +The passion for universal history (_i.e._ any and every body's story) +nowadays seems to render any thing in the shape of personal +recollections good enough to be printed and read; and as the public +appetite for gossip appears to be insatiable, and is not unlikely some +time or other to be gratified at my expense, I have thought that my own +gossip about myself may be as acceptable to it as gossip about me +written by another. + +I have come to the garrulous time of life--to the remembering days, +which only by a little precede the forgetting ones. I have much leisure, +and feel sure that it will amuse me to write my own reminiscences; +perhaps reading them may amuse others who have no more to do than I +have. To the idle, then, I offer these lightest of leaves gathered in +the idle end of autumn days, which have succeeded years of labor often +severe and sad enough, though its ostensible purpose was only that of +affording recreation to the public. + + * * * * * + +There are two lives of my aunt Siddons: one by Boaden, and one by the +poet Campbell. In these biographies due mention is made of my paternal +grandfather and grandmother. To the latter, Mrs. Roger Kemble, I am +proud to see, by Lawrence's portrait of her, I bear a personal +resemblance; and I please myself with imagining that the likeness is +more than "skin deep." She was an energetic, brave woman, who, in the +humblest sphere of life and most difficult circumstances, together with +her husband fought manfully a hard battle with poverty, in maintaining +and, as well as they could, training a family of twelve children, of +whom four died in childhood. But I am persuaded that whatever qualities +of mind or character I inherit from my father's family, I am more +strongly stamped with those which I derive from my mother, a woman who, +possessing no specific gift in such perfection as the dramatic talent of +the Kembles, had in a higher degree than any of them the peculiar +organization of genius. To the fine senses of a savage rather than a +civilized nature, she joined an acute instinct of correct criticism in +all matters of art, and a general quickness and accuracy of perception, +and brilliant vividness of expression, that made her conversation +delightful. Had she possessed half the advantages of education which she +and my father labored to bestow upon us, she would, I think, have been +one of the most remarkable persons of her time. + +My mother was the daughter of Captain Decamp, an officer in one of the +armies that revolutionary France sent to invade republican Switzerland. +He married the daughter of a farmer from the neighborhood of Berne. From +my grandmother's home you could see the great Jungfrau range of the +Alps, and I sometimes wonder whether it is her blood in my veins that so +loves and longs for those supremely beautiful mountains. + +Not long after his marriage my grandfather went to Vienna, where, on the +anniversary of the birth of the great Empress-King, my mother was born, +and named, after her, Maria Theresa. In Vienna, Captain Decamp made the +acquaintance of a young English nobleman, Lord Monson (afterwards the +Earl of Essex), who, with an enthusiasm more friendly than wise, eagerly +urged the accomplished Frenchman to come and settle in London, where his +talents as a draughtsman and musician, which were much above those of a +mere amateur, combined with the protection of such friends as he could +not fail to find, would easily enable him to maintain himself and his +young wife and child. + +In an evil hour my grandfather adopted this advice, and came to England. +It was the time when the emigration of the French nobility had filled +London with objects of sympathy, and society with sympathizers with +their misfortunes. Among the means resorted to for assisting the many +interesting victims of the Revolution, were representations, given under +the direction of Le Texier, of Berquin's and Madame de Genlis's juvenile +dramas, by young French children. These performances, combined with his +own extraordinary readings, became one of the fashionable frenzies of +the day. I quote from Walter Scott's review of Boaden's life of my uncle +the following notice of Le Texier: "On one of these incidental topics we +must pause for a moment, with delighted recollection. We mean the +readings of the celebrated Le Texier, who, seated at a desk, and dressed +in plain clothes, read French plays with such modulation of voice, and +such exquisite point of dialogue, as to form a pleasure different from +that of the theatre, but almost as great as we experience in listening +to a first-rate actor. We have only to add to a very good account given +by Mr. Boaden of this extraordinary entertainment, that when it +commenced Mr. Le Texier read over the _dramatis personæ_, with the +little analysis of character usually attached to each name, using the +voice and manner with which he afterward read the part; and so accurate +was the key-note given that he had no need to name afterward the person +who spoke; the stupidest of the audience could not fail to recognize +them." + +Among the little actors of Le Texier's troupe, my mother attracted the +greatest share of public attention by her beauty and grace, and the +truth and spirit of her performances. + +The little French fairy was eagerly seized upon by admiring fine ladies +and gentlemen, and snatched up into their society, where she was fondled +and petted and played with; passing whole days in Mrs. Fitzherbert's +drawing-room, and many a half hour on the knees of her royal and +disloyal husband, the Prince Regent, one of whose favorite jokes was to +place my mother under a huge glass bell, made to cover some large group +of precious Dresden china, where her tiny figure and flashing face +produced even a more beautiful effect than the costly work of art whose +crystal covering was made her momentary cage. I have often heard my +mother refer to this season of her childhood's favoritism with the fine +folk of that day, one of her most vivid impressions of which was the +extraordinary beauty of person and royal charm of manner and deportment +of the Prince of Wales, and his enormous appetite: enormous perhaps, +after all, only by comparison with her own, which he compassionately +used to pity, saying frequently, when she declined the delicacies that +he pressed upon her, "Why, you poor child! Heaven has not blessed you +with an appetite." Of the precocious feeling and imagination of the poor +little girl, thus taken out of her own sphere of life into one so +different and so dangerous, I remember a very curious instance, told me +by herself. One of the houses where she was a most frequent visitor, and +treated almost like a child of the family, was that of Lady Rivers, +whose brother, Mr. Rigby, while in the ministry, fought a duel with some +political opponent. Mr. Rigby had taken great notice of the little +French child treated with such affectionate familiarity by his sister, +and she had attached herself so strongly to him that, on hearing the +circumstance of his duel suddenly mentioned for the first time, she +fainted away: a story that always reminded me of the little Spanish girl +Florian mentions in his "Mémoires d'un jeune Espagnol," who, at six +years of age, having asked a young man of upward of five and twenty if +he loved her, so resented his repeating her question to her elder sister +that she never could be induced to speak to him again. + +Meantime, while the homes of the great and gay were her constant resort, +the child's home was becoming sadder, and her existence and that of her +parents more precarious and penurious day by day. From my grandfather's +first arrival in London, his chest had suffered from the climate; the +instrument he taught was the flute, and it was not long before decided +disease of the lungs rendered that industry impossible. He endeavored to +supply its place by giving French and drawing lessons (I have several +small sketches of his, taken in the Netherlands, the firm, free delicacy +of which attest a good artist's handling); and so struggled on, under +the dark London sky, and in the damp, foggy, smoky atmosphere, while the +poor foreign wife bore and nursed four children. + +It is impossible to imagine any thing sadder than the condition of such +a family, with its dark fortune closing round and over it, and its one +little human jewel, sent forth from its dingy case to sparkle and +glitter, and become of hard necessity the single source of light in the +growing gloom of its daily existence. And the contrast must have been +cruel enough between the scenes into which the child's genius +spasmodically lifted her, both in the assumed parts she performed and in +the great London world where her success in their performance carried +her, and the poor home, where sickness and sorrow were becoming abiding +inmates, and poverty and privation the customary conditions of +life--poverty and privation doubtless often increased by the very outlay +necessary to fit her for her public appearances, and not seldom by the +fear of offending, or the hope of conciliating, the fastidious taste of +the wealthy and refined patrons whose favor toward the poor little +child-actress might prove infinitely helpful to her and to those who +owned her. + +The lives of artists of every description in England are not unapt to +have such opening chapters as this; but the calling of a player alone +has the grotesque element of fiction, with all the fantastic +accompaniments of sham splendor thrust into close companionship with the +sordid details of poverty; for the actor alone the livery of labor is a +harlequin's jerkin lined with tatters, and the jester's cap and bells +tied to the beggar's wallet. I have said artist life in England is apt +to have such chapters; artist life everywhere, probably. But it is only +in England, I think, that the full bitterness of such experience is +felt; for what knows the foreign artist of the inexorable element of +Respectability? In England alone is the pervading atmosphere of +respectability that which artists breathe in common with all other +men--respectability, that English moral climate, with its neutral tint +and temperate tone, so often sneered at in these days by its new German +title of Philistinism, so often deserving of the bitterest scorn in some +of its inexpressibly mean manifestations--respectability, the +pre-eminently unattractive characteristic of British existence, but +which, all deductions made for its vulgar alloys, is, in truth, only the +general result of the individual self-respect of individual Englishmen; +a wholesome, purifying, and preserving element in the homes and lives of +many, where, without it, the recklessness bred of insecure means and +obscure position would run miserable riot; a tremendous power of +omnipotent compression, repression, and oppression, no doubt, quite +consistent with the stern liberty whose severe beauty the people of +these islands love, but absolutely incompatible with license, or even +lightness of life, controlling a thousand disorders rampant in societies +where it does not exist; a power which, tyrannical as it is, and +ludicrously tragical as are the sacrifices sometimes exacted by it, +saves especially the artist class of England from those worst forms of +irregularity which characterize the Bohemianism of foreign literary, +artistic, and dramatic life. + +Of course the pleasure-and-beauty-loving, artistic temperament, which is +the one most likely to be exposed to such an ordeal as that of my +mother's childhood, is also the one liable to be most injured by it, and +to communicate through its influence peculiar mischief to the moral +nature. It is the price of peril, paid for all that brilliant order of +gifts that have for their scope the exercise of the imagination through +the senses, no less than for that crown of gifts, the poet's passionate +inspiration, speaking to the senses through the imagination. + +How far my mother was hurt by the combination of circumstances that +influenced her childhood I know not. As I remember her, she was a frank, +fearless, generous, and unworldly woman, and had probably found in the +subsequent independent exercise of her abilities the shield for these +virtues. How much the passionate, vehement, susceptible, and most +suffering nature was banefully fostered at the same time, I can better +judge from the sad vantage-ground of my own experience. + +After six years spent in a bitter struggle with disease and difficulties +of every kind, my grandfather, still a young man, died of consumption, +leaving a widow and five little children, of whom the eldest, my mother, +not yet in her teens, became from that time the bread-winner and sole +support. + +Nor was it many years before she established her claim to the +approbation of the general public, fulfilling the promise of her +childhood by performances of such singular originality as to deserve the +name of genuine artistic creations, and which have hardly ever been +successfully attempted since her time: such as "The Blind Boy" and "Deaf +and Dumb;" the latter, particularly, in its speechless power and pathos +of expression, resembling the celebrated exhibitions of Parisot and +Bigottini, in the great tragic ballets in which dancing was a +subordinate element to the highest dramatic effects of passion and +emotion expressed by pantomime. After her marriage, my mother remained +but a few years on the stage, to which she bequeathed, as specimens of +her ability as a dramatic writer, the charming English version of "La +jeune Femme colère," called "The Day after the Wedding;" the little +burlesque of "Personation," of which her own exquisitely humorous +performance, aided by her admirably pure French accent, has never been +equaled; and a play in five acts called "Smiles and Tears," taken from +Mrs. Opie's tale of "Father and Daughter." + +She had a fine and powerful voice and a rarely accurate musical ear; she +moved so gracefully that I have known persons who went to certain +provincial promenades frequented by her, only to see her walk; she was a +capital horsewoman; her figure was beautiful, and her face very handsome +and strikingly expressive; and she talked better, with more originality +and vivacity, than any English woman I have ever known: to all which +good gifts she added that of being a first-rate _cook_. And oh, how +often and how bitterly, in my transatlantic household tribulations, have +I deplored that her apron had not fallen on my shoulders or round my +waist! Whether she derived this taste and talent from her French blood, +I know not, but it amounted to genius, and might have made her a +pre-eminent _cordon bleu_, if she had not been the wife, and _cheffe_, +of a poor professional gentleman, whose moderate means were so +skillfully turned to account, in her provision for his modest table, +that he was accused by ill-natured people of indulging in the expensive +luxury of a French cook. Well do I remember the endless supplies of +potted gravies, sauces, meat jellies, game jellies, fish jellies, the +white ranges of which filled the shelves of her store-room--which she +laughingly called her boudoir--almost to the exclusion of the usual +currant jellies and raspberry jams of such receptacles: for she had the +real _bon vivant's_ preference of the savory to the sweet, and left all +the latter branch of the art to her subordinates, confining the exercise +of her own talents, or immediate superintendence, to the production of +the above-named "elegant extracts." She never, I am sorry to say, +encouraged either my sister or myself in the same useful occupation, +alleging that we had what she called better ones; but I would joyfully, +many a time in America, have exchanged all my boarding-school +smatterings for her knowledge how to produce a wholesome and palatable +dinner. As it was, all I learned of her, to my sorrow, was a detestation +of bad cookery, and a firm conviction that that which was exquisite was +both wholesomer and more economical than any other. Dr. Kitchener, the +clever and amiable author of that amusing book, "The Cook's Oracle" (his +name was a _bonâ fide_ appellation, and not a drolly devised appropriate +_nom de plume_, and he was a doctor of physic), was a great friend and +admirer of hers; and she is the "accomplished lady" by whom several +pages of that entertaining kitchen companion were furnished to him. + +The mode of opening one of her chapters, "I always bone my meat" (_bone_ +being the slang word of the day for steal), occasioned much merriment +among her friends, and such a look of ludicrous surprise and reprobation +from Liston, when he read it, as I still remember. + +My mother, moreover, devised a most admirable kind of _jujube_, made of +clarified gum-arabic, honey, and lemon, with which she kept my father +supplied during all the time of his remaining on the stage; he never +acted without having recourse to it, and found it more efficacious in +sustaining the voice and relieving the throat under constant exertion +than any other preparation that he ever tried; this she always made for +him herself. + +The great actors of my family have received their due of recorded +admiration; my mother has always seemed to me to have been overshadowed +by their celebrity; my sister and myself, whose fate it has been to bear +in public the name they have made distinguished, owe in great measure to +her, I think, whatever ability has enabled us to do so not unworthily. + +I was born on the 27th of November, 1809, in Newman Street, Oxford Road, +the third child of my parents, whose eldest, Philip, named after my +uncle, died in infancy. The second, John Mitchell, lived to distinguish +himself as a scholar, devoting his life to the study of his own language +and the history of his country in their earliest period, and to the +kindred subject of Northern Archæology. + +Of Newman Street I have nothing to say, but regret to have heard that +before we left our residence there my father was convicted, during an +absence of my mother's from town, of having planted in my baby bosom the +seeds of personal vanity, while indulging his own, by having an +especially pretty and becoming lace cap at hand in the drawing-room, to +be immediately substituted for some more homely daily adornment, when I +was exhibited to his visitors. In consequence, perhaps, of which, I am a +disgracefully dress-loving old woman of near seventy, one of whose minor +miseries is that she can no longer find _any_ lace cap whatever that is +either pretty or becoming to her gray head. If my father had not been so +foolish then, I should not be so foolish now--perhaps. + +The famous French actress, Mlle. Clairon, recalled, for the pleasure of +some foreign royal personage passing through Paris, for one night to the +stage, which she had left many years before, was extremely anxious to +recover the pattern of a certain cap which she had worn in her young +days in "La Coquette corrigée," the part she was about to repeat. The +cap, as she wore it, had been a Parisian rage; she declared that half +her success in the part had been the cap. The milliner who had made it, +and whose fortune it had made, had retired from business, grown old; +luckily, however, she was not dead: she was hunted up and adjured to +reproduce, if possible, this marvel of her art, and came to her former +patroness, bringing with her the identical head-gear. Clairon seized +upon it: "Ah oui, c'est bien cela! c'est bien là le bonnet!" It was on +her head in an instant, and she before the glass, in vain trying to +reproduce with it the well-remembered effect. She pished and pshawed, +frowned and shrugged, pulled the pretty _chiffon_ this way and that on +her forehead; and while so doing, coming nearer and nearer to the +terrible looking-glass, suddenly stopped, looked at herself for a moment +in silence, and then, covering her aged and faded face with her hands, +exclaimed, "Ah, c'est bien le bonnet! mais ce n'est plus la figure!" + +Our next home, after Newman Street, was at a place called Westbourne +Green, now absorbed into endless avenues of "palatial" residences, which +scoff with regular-featured, lofty scorn at the rural simplicity implied +by such a name. The site of our dwelling was not far from the Paddington +Canal, and was then so far out of town that our nearest neighbors, +people of the name of Cockrell, were the owners of a charming residence, +in the middle of park-like grounds, of which I still have a faint, +pleasurable remembrance. The young ladies, daughters of Mr. Cockrell, +really made the first distinct mark I can detect on the _tabula rasa_ of +my memory, by giving me a charming pasteboard figure of a little girl, +to whose serene and sweetly smiling countenance, and pretty person, a +whole bookful of painted pasteboard petticoats, cloaks, and bonnets +could be adapted; it was a lovely being, and stood artlessly by a stile, +an image of rustic beauty and simplicity. I still bless the Miss +Cockrells, if they are alive, but if not, their memory for it! + +Of the curious effect of dressing in producing the _sentiment_ of a +countenance, no better illustration can be had than a series of caps, +curls, wreaths, ribbons, etc., painted so as to be adaptable to one +face; the totally different _character_ imparted by a helmet, or a +garland of roses, to the same set of features, is a "caution" to +irregular beauties who console themselves with the fascinating variety +of their _expression_. + +At this period of my life, I have been informed, I began, after the +manner of most clever children, to be exceedingly troublesome and +unmanageable, my principal crime being a general audacious contempt for +all authority, which, coupled with a sweet-tempered, cheerful +indifference to all punishment, made it extremely difficult to know how +to obtain of me the minimum quantity of obedience indispensable in the +relations of a tailless monkey of four years and its elders. I never +cried, I never sulked, I never resented, lamented, or repented either my +ill-doings or their consequences, but accepted them alike with a +philosophical buoyancy of spirit which was the despair of my poor +bewildered trainers. + +Being hideously decorated once with a fool's cap of vast dimensions, and +advised to hide, not my "diminished head," but my horrible disgrace, +from all beholders, I took the earliest opportunity of dancing down the +carriage-drive to meet the postman, a great friend of mine, and attract +his observation and admiration to my "helmet," which I called aloud upon +all wayfarers also to contemplate, until removed from an elevated bank I +had selected for this public exhibition of myself and my penal costume, +which was beginning to attract a small group of passers-by. + +My next malefactions were met with an infliction of bread and water, +which I joyfully accepted, observing, "Now I am like those poor dear +French prisoners that everybody pities so." Mrs. Siddons at that time +lived next door to us; she came in one day when I had committed some of +my daily offenses against manners or morals, and I was led, nothing +daunted, into her awful presence, to be admonished by her. + +Melpomene took me upon her lap, and, bending upon me her "controlling +frown," discoursed to me of my evil ways in those accents which curdled +the blood of the poor shopman, of whom she demanded if the printed +calico she purchased of him "would wash." The tragic tones pausing, in +the midst of the impressed and impressive silence of the assembled +family, I tinkled forth, "What beautiful eyes you have!" all my small +faculties having been absorbed in the steadfast upward gaze I fixed upon +those magnificent orbs. Mrs. Siddons set me down with a smothered laugh, +and I trotted off, apparently uninjured by my great-aunt's solemn moral +suasion. + +A dangerous appeal, of a higher order, being made to me by my aunt's +most intimate friend, Mrs. F----, a not very judicious person, to the +effect, "Fanny, why don't you pray to God to make you better?" +immediately received the conclusive reply, "So I do, and he makes me +worse and worse." Parents and guardians should be chary of handling the +deep chords upon whose truth and strength the highest harmonies of the +fully developed soul are to depend. + +In short, I was as hopelessly philosophical a subject as Madame Roland, +when, at six years old, receiving her penal bread and water with the +comment, "Bon pour la digestion!" and the retributive stripes which this +drew upon her, with the further observation, "Bon pour la circulation!" +In spite of my "wickedness," as Topsy would say, I appear to have been +not a little spoiled by my parents, and an especial pet and favorite of +all their friends, among whom, though I do not remember him at this +early period of our acquaintance, I know was Charles Young, that most +kindly good man and pleasant gentleman, one of whose many amiable +qualities was a genuine love for little children. He was an intimate +friend of Mrs. Siddons and her brothers, and came frequently to our +house; if the elders were not at home, he invariably made his way to the +nursery, where, according to the amusing description he has often since +given me of our early intercourse, one of his great diversions was to +make me fold my little fat arms--not an easy performance for small +muscles--and with a portentous frown, which puckered up my mouth even +more than my eyebrows, receive from him certain awfully unintelligible +passages from "Macbeth;" replying to them, with a lisp that must have +greatly heightened the tragic effect of this terrible dialogue, "_My +handth are of oo tolor_" (My hands are of your color). Years--how +many!--after this first lesson in declamation, dear Charles Young was +acting Macbeth for the last time in London, and I was his "wicked wife;" +and while I stood at the side scenes, painting my hands and arms with +the vile red stuff that confirmed the bloody-minded woman's words, he +said to me with a smile, "Ah ha! _My handth are of oo tolor._" + +Mr. Young's own theatrical career was a sort of curious contradiction +between his physical and mental endowments. His very handsome and +regular features of the Roman cast, and deep, melodious voice, were +undoubtedly fine natural requisites for a tragic actor, and he succeeded +my uncle in all his principal parts, if not with any thing like equal +genius, with a dignity and decorum that were always highly acceptable. +He had, however, no tragic mental element whatever with these very +decided external qualifications for tragedy; but a perception of and +passion for humor, which he indulged in private constantly, in the most +entertaining and surprising manner. Ludicrous stories; personal mimicry; +the most admirable imitation of national accent--Scotch, Irish, and +French (he spoke the latter language to perfection, and Italian very +well); a power of grimace that equaled Grimaldi, and the most +irresistibly comical way of resuming, in the midst of the broadest +buffoonery, the stately dignity of his own natural countenance, voice, +and manner. + +He was a cultivated musician, and sang French and Italian with taste and +expression, and English ballads with a pathos and feeling only inferior +to that of Moore and Mrs. Arkwright, with both which great masters of +musical declamation he was on terms of friendly intimacy. Mr. Young was +a universal favorite in the best London society, and an eagerly sought +guest in pleasant country-houses, where his zeal for country sports, his +knowledge of and fondness for horses, his capital equestrianism, and +inexhaustible fund of humor, made him as popular with the men as his +sweet, genial temper, good breeding, musical accomplishments, and +infinite drollery did with the women. + +Mr. Young once told Lord Dacre that he made about four thousand pounds +sterling per annum by his profession; and as he was prudent and moderate +in his mode of life, and, though elegant, not extravagant in his tastes, +he had realized a handsome fortune when he left the stage. + +Mr. Young passed the last years of his life at Brighton, and I never +visited that place without going to see him, confined as he latterly was +to his sofa with a complication of painful diseases and the weight of +more than seventy years. The last time I saw him in his drawing-room he +made me sit on a little stool by his sofa--it was not long after my +father, his life-long friend and contemporary's death--and he kept +stroking my hair, and saying to me, "You look so like a child--a good +child." I saw him but once more after this; he was then confined to his +bed. It was on Sunday; he lay propped with pillows in an ample flannel +dressing-gown, with a dark-blue velvet skull-cap on his head, and I +thought I had never seen his face look more strikingly noble and +handsome; he was reading the church service and his Bible, and kept me +by him for some time. I never saw him again. + +As a proof of the little poetical imagination which Mr. Young brought to +some of his tragic performances, I remember his saying of his dress in +Cardinal Wolsey, "Well, I never could associate any ideas of grandeur +with this old woman's red petticoat." It would be difficult to say what +his best performances were, for he had never either fire, passion, or +tenderness; but never wanted propriety, dignity, and a certain stately +grace. Sir Pertinax McSycophant and Iago were the best things I ever saw +him act, probably because the sardonic element in both of them gave +partial scope to his humorous vein. + +Not long after this we moved to another residence, still in the same +neighborhood, but near the churchyard of Paddington church, which was a +thoroughfare of gravel walks, cutting in various directions the green +turf, where the flat tombstones formed frequent "play-tables" for us; +upon these our nursery-maid, apparently not given to melancholy +meditations among the tombs, used to allow us to manufacture whole +delightful dinner sets of clay plates and dishes (I think I could make +such now), out of which we used to have feasts, as we called them, of +morsels of cake and fruit. + +At this time I was about five years old, and it was determined that I +should be sent to the care of my father's sister, Mrs. Twiss, who kept a +school at Bath, and who was my godmother. On the occasion of my setting +forth on my travels, my brother John presented me with a whole +collection of children's books, which he had read and carefully +preserved, and now commended to my use. There were at least a round +dozen, and, having finished reading them, it occurred to me that to make +a bonfire of them would be an additional pleasure to be derived from +them; and so I added to the intellectual recreation they afforded me the +more _sensational_ excitement of what I called "a blaze;" a proceeding +of which the dangerous sinfulness was severely demonstrated to me by my +new care-takers. + +Camden Place, Bath, was one of the lofty terraces built on the charming +slopes that surround the site of the Aquæ Solis of the Romans, and here +my aunt Twiss kept a girls' school, which participated in the favor +which every thing belonging to, or even remotely associated with, Mrs. +Siddons received from the public. It was a decidedly "fashionable +establishment for the education of young ladies," managed by my aunt, +her husband, and her three daughters. Mrs. Twiss was, like every member +of my father's family, at one time on the stage, but left it very soon, +to marry the grim-visaged, gaunt-figured, kind-hearted gentleman and +profound scholar whose name she at this time bore, and who, I have heard +it said, once nourished a hopeless passion for Mrs. Siddons. Mrs. Twiss +bore a soft and mitigated likeness to her celebrated sister; she had +great sweetness of voice and countenance, and a graceful, refined, +feminine manner, that gave her great advantages in her intercourse with +and influence over the young women whose training she undertook. Mr. +Twiss was a very learned man, whose literary labors were, I believe, +various, but whose "Concordance of Shakespeare" is the only one with +which I am acquainted. He devoted himself, with extreme assiduity, to +the education of his daughters, giving them the unusual advantage of a +thorough classic training, and making of two of them learned women in +the more restricted, as well as the more general, sense of the term. +These ladies were what so few of their sex ever are, _really well +informed_; they knew much, and they knew it all thoroughly; they were +excellent Latin scholars and mathematicians, had read immensely and at +the same time systematically, had prodigious memories stored with +various and well-classed knowledge, and, above all, were mistresses of +the English language, and spoke and wrote it with perfect purity--an +accomplishment out of fashion now, it appears to me, but of the +advantage of which I retain a delightful impression in my memory of +subsequent intercourse with those excellent and capitally educated +women. My relations with them, all but totally interrupted for upward of +thirty years, were renewed late in the middle of my life and toward the +end of theirs, when I visited them repeatedly at their pretty rural +dwelling near Hereford, where they enjoyed in tranquil repose the easy +independence they had earned by honorable toil. There, the lovely +garden, every flower of which looked fit to take the first prize at a +horticultural show, the incomparable white strawberries, famous +throughout the neighborhood, and a magnificent Angola cat, were the +delights of my out-of-door life; and perfect kindness and various +conversation, fed by an inexhaustible fund of anecdote, an immense +knowledge of books, and a long and interesting acquaintance with +society, made the indoor hours passed with these quiet old lady +governesses some of the most delightful I have ever known. The two +younger sisters died first; the eldest, surviving them, felt the sad +solitude of their once pleasant home at "The Laurels" intolerable, and +removed her residence to Brighton, where, till the period of her death, +I used to go and stay with her, and found her to the last one of the +most agreeable companions I have ever known. + +At the time of my first acquaintance with my cousins, however, neither +their own studies nor those of their pupils so far engrossed them as to +seclude them from society. Bath was then, at certain seasons, the gayest +place of fashionable resort in England; and, little consonant as such a +thing would appear at the present day with the prevailing ideas of the +life of a teacher, balls, routs, plays, assemblies, the Pump Room, and +all the fashionable dissipations of the place, were habitually resorted +to by these very "stylish" school-mistresses, whose position at one +time, oddly enough, was that of leaders of "the ton" in the pretty +provincial capital of Somersetshire. It was, moreover, understood, as +part of the system of the establishment, that such of the pupils as were +of an age to be introduced into society could enjoy the advantage of the +chaperonage of these ladies, and several did avail themselves of it. + +What profit I made under these kind and affectionate kinsfolk I know +not; little, I rather think, ostensibly; perhaps some beneath the +surface, not very manifest either to them or myself at the time; but +painstaking love sows more harvests than it wots of, wherever or +whenever (or if never) it reaps them. + +I did not become versed in any of my cousins' learned lore, or +accomplished in the lighter labors of their leisure hours--to wit, the +shoemaking, bread-seal manufacturing, and black and white Japan, table +and screen painting, which produced such an indescribable medley of +materials in their rooms, and were fashionable female idle industries of +that day. + +Remote from the theatre, and all details of theatrical life, as my +existence in my aunt's school was, there still were occasional +infiltrations of that element which found their way into my small +sphere. My cousin John Twiss, who died not very long ago, an elderly +general in her Majesty's service, was at this time a young giant, +studying to become an engineer officer, whose visits to his home were +seasons of great delight to the family in general, not unmixed on my +part with dread; for a favorite diversion of his was enacting my uncle +John's famous rescue of Cora's child, in "Pizarro," with me clutched in +one hand, and exalted to perilous proximity with the chandelier, while +he rushed across the drawing-rooms, to my exquisite terror and triumph. + +I remember, too, his sisters, all three remarkably tall women (the +eldest nearly six feet high, a portentous petticoat stature), amusing +themselves with putting on, and sweeping about the rooms in, certain +regal mantles and Grecian draperies of my aunt Mrs. Whitelock's, an +actress, like the rest of the Kembles, who sought and found across the +Atlantic a fortune and celebrity which it would have been difficult for +her to have achieved under the disadvantage of proximity to, and +comparison with, her sister, Mrs. Siddons. But I suppose the dramatic +impression which then affected me with the greatest and most vivid +pleasure was an experience which I have often remembered, when reading +Goethe's "Dichtung und Wahrheit," and the opening chapters of "Wilhelm +Meister." Within a pleasant summer afternoon's walk from Bath, through +green meadows and by the river's side, lay a place called Claverton +Park, the residence of a family of the name of A----. I remember nothing +of the house but the stately and spacious hall, in the middle of which +stood a portable theatre, or puppet-show, such as Punch inhabits, where +the small figures, animated with voice and movement by George A----, the +eldest son of the family, were tragic instead of grotesque, and where, +instead of the squeaking "Don Giovanni" of the London pavement, +"Macbeth" and similar solemnities appeared before my enchanted eyes. The +troupe might have been the very identical puppet performers of Harry +Rowe, the famous Yorkshire trumpeter. These, I suppose, were the first +plays I ever saw. Those were pleasant walks to Claverton, and pleasant +days at Claverton Hall! I wish Hans Breitmann and his "Avay in die +Ewigkeit" did not come in, like a ludicrous, lugubrious burden, to all +one's reminiscences of places and people one knew upward of fifty years +ago. + +I have been accused of having acquired a bad habit of _punning from +Shakespeare!_--a delightful idea, that made me laugh till I cried the +first time it was suggested to me. If so, I certainly began early to +exhibit a result, of which the cause was, in some mysterious way, long +subsequent to the effect; unless the Puppet Plays of Claverton inspired +my wit. However that may be, I developed at this period a decided +faculty for punning, and that is an unusual thing at that age. Children +have considerable enjoyment of humor, as many of their favorite fairy +and other stories attest; they are often themselves extremely droll and +humorous in their assumed play characters and the stories they invent to +divert their companions; but punning is a not very noble species of wit; +it partakes of mental dexterity, requires neither fancy, humor, nor +imagination, and deals in words with double meanings, a subtlety very +little congenial to the simple and earnest intelligence of childhood. + +_Les enfans terribles_ say such things daily, and make their +grandmothers' caps stand on end with their precocious astuteness; but +the clever sayings of most clever children, repeated and reported by +admiring friends and relations, are, for the most part, simply the +result of unused faculties, exercising themselves in, to them, an unused +world; only therefore surprising to worn-out faculties, which have +almost ceased to exercise themselves in, to them, an almost worn-out +world. + +To Miss B---- I was indebted for the first doll I remember possessing--a +gorgeous wax personage, in white muslin and cherry-colored ribbons, who, +by desire of the donor, was to be called Philippa, in honor of my uncle. +I never loved or liked dolls, though I remember taking some pride in the +splendor of this, my first-born. They always affected me with a grim +sense of being a mockery of the humanity they were supposed to +represent; there was something uncanny, not to say ghastly, in the doll +existence and its mimicry of babyhood to me, and I had a nervous +dislike, not unmixed with fear, of the smiling simulacra that girls are +all supposed to love with a species of prophetic maternal instinct. + +The only member of my aunt Twiss's family of whom I remember at this +time little or nothing was the eldest son, Horace, who in subsequent +years was one of the most intimate and familiar friends of my father and +mother, and who became well known as a clever and successful public man, +and a brilliant and agreeable member of the London society of his day. + +My stay of a little more than a year at Bath had but one memorable +event, in its course, to me. I was looking one evening, at bedtime, over +the banisters, from the upper story into the hall below, with tiptoe +eagerness that caused me to overbalance myself and turn over the rail, +to which I clung on the wrong side, suspended, like Victor Hugo's +miserable priest to the gutter of Notre Dame, and then fell four stories +down on the stone pavement of the hall. I was not killed, or apparently +injured, but whether I was not really irreparably damaged no human being +can possibly tell. + +My next memories refer to a residence which my parents were occupying +when I returned to London, called Covent Garden Chambers, now, I +believe, celebrated as "Evans's," and where, I am told, it is +confidently affirmed that I was born, which I was not; and where, I am +told, a picture is shown that is confidently affirmed to be mine, which +it is not. My sister Adelaide was born in Covent Garden Chambers, and +the picture in question is an oil sketch, by Sir Thomas Lawrence, of my +cousin Maria Siddons; quite near the truth enough for history, private +or public. It was while we were living here that Mrs. Siddons returned +to the stage for one night, and acted Lady Randolph for my father's +benefit. Of course I heard much discourse about this, to us, important +and exciting event, and used all my small powers of persuasion to be +taken to see her. + +My father, who loved me very much, and spoiled me not a little, carried +me early in the afternoon into the market-place, and showed me the dense +mass of people which filled the whole Piazza, in patient expectation of +admission to the still unopened doors. This was by way of proving to me +how impossible it was to grant my request. However that might then +appear, it was granted, for I was in the theatre at the beginning of the +performance; but I can now remember nothing of it but the appearance of +a solemn female figure in black, and the tremendous _roar_ of public +greeting which welcomed her, and must, I suppose, have terrified my +childish senses, by the impression I still retain of it; and this is the +only occasion on which I saw my aunt in public. + +Another circumstance, connected in my mind with Covent Garden Chambers, +was a terrible anguish about my youngest brother, Henry, who was for +some hours lost. He was a most beautiful child, of little more than +three years old, and had been allowed to go out on the door-steps, by an +exceedingly foolish little nursery-maid, to look at the traffic of the +great market-place. Returning without him, she declared that he had +refused to come in with her, and had run to the corner of Henrietta +Street, as she averred, where she had left him, to come and fetch +authoritative assistance. + +The child did not come home, and all search for him proved vain +throughout the crowded market and the adjoining thoroughfares, thronged +with people and choked with carts and wagons, and swarming with the +blocked-up traffic, which had to make its way to and from the great mart +through avenues far narrower and more difficult of access than they are +now. There were not then, either, those invaluable beings, policemen, +standing at every corner to enforce order and assist the helpless. These +then were not; and no inquiry brought back any tidings of the poor +little lost boy. My mother was ill, and I do not think she was told of +the child's disappearance, but my father went to and fro with the face +and voice of a distracted man; and I well remember the look with which +he climbed a narrow outside stair leading only to a rain-water cistern, +with the miserable apprehension that his child might have clambered up +and fallen into it. The neighborhood was stirred with sympathy for the +agony of the poor father, and pitying gossip spreading the news through +the thronged market-place, where my father's name and appearance were +familiar enough to give a strong personal feeling to the compassion +expressed. A baker's boy, lounging about, caught up the story of the +lost child, and described having seen a "pretty little chap with curly +hair, in a brown holland pinafore," in St. James's Square. Thither the +searchers flew, and the child was found, tired out with his +self-directed wandering, but apparently quite contented, fast asleep on +the door-step of one of the lordly houses of that aristocratic square. +He was so remarkably beautiful that he must have attracted attention +before long, and _might_ perhaps have been restored to his home; but God +knows what an age of horror and anguish was lived through by my father +and my poor aunt Dall in that short, miserable space of time till he was +found. + +My aunt Dall, of whom I now speak for the first time, was my mother's +sister, and had lived with us, I believe, ever since I was born. Her +name was Adelaide, but the little fellow whose adventure I have just +related, stumbling over this fine Norman appellation, turned it into +Idallidy, and then conveniently shortened it of its two extremities and +made it Dall, by which title she was called by us, and known to all our +friends, and beloved by all who ever spoke or heard it. Her story was as +sad a one as could well be; yet to my thinking she was one of the +happiest persons I have ever known, as well as one of the best. She was +my mother's second sister, and as her picture, taken when she was +twenty, shows (and it was corroborated by her appearance till upward of +fifty), she was extremely pretty. Obliged, as all the rest of her family +were, to earn her own bread, and naturally adopting the means of doing +so that they did, she went upon the stage; but I can not conceive that +her nature can ever have had any affinity with her occupation. She had a +robust and rather prosaic common-sense, opposed to any thing exaggerated +or sentimental, which gave her an excellent judgment of character and +conduct, a strong genial vein of humor which very often made her +repartees witty as well as wise, and a sunny sweetness of temper and +soundness of moral nature that made her as good as she was easy and +delightful to live with. Whenever any thing went wrong, and she was +"vexed past her patience," she used to sing; it was the only indication +by which we ever knew that she was what is termed "out of sorts." She +had found employment in her profession under the kindly protection of +Mr. Stephen Kemble, my father's brother, who lived for many years at +Durham, and was the manager of the theatre there, and, according to the +fashion of that time, traveled with his company, at stated seasons, to +Newcastle, Sunderland, and other places, which formed a sort of +theatrical circuit in the northern counties, throughout which he was +well known and generally respected. + +In his company my aunt Dall found employment, and in his daughter, Fanny +Kemble, since well known as Mrs. Robert Arkwright, an inseparable friend +and companion. My aunt lived with Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Kemble, who were +excellent, worthy people. They took good care of the two young girls +under their charge, this linsey-woolsey Rosalind and Celia--their own +beautiful and most rarely endowed daughter, and her light-hearted, +lively companion; and I suppose that a merrier life than that of these +lasses, in the midst of their quaint theatrical tasks and homely +household duties, was seldom led by two girls in any sphere of life. +They learned and acted their parts, devised and executed, with small +means and great industry, their dresses; made pies and puddings, and +patched and darned, in the morning, and by dint of paste and rouge +became heroines in the evening; and withal were well-conducted, good +young things, full of the irrepressible spirits of their age, and +turning alike their hard home work and light stage labor into fun. Fanny +had inherited the beauty of her father's family, which in her most +lovely countenance had a character of childlike simplicity and serene +sweetness that made it almost angelic. + +Far on in middle age she retained this singularly tender beauty, which +added immensely to the exquisite effect of her pathetic voice in her +incomparable rendering of the ballads she composed (the poetry as well +as the music being often her own), and to which her singing of them gave +so great a fashion at one time in the great London world. It was in vain +that far better musicians, with far finer voices, attempted to copy her +inimitable musical recitation; nobody ever sang like her, and still less +did anybody ever look like her while she sang. Practical jokes of very +doubtful taste were the fashion of that day, and remembering what +wonderfully coarse and silly proceedings were then thought highly +diverting by "vastly genteel" people, it is not, perhaps, much to be +wondered at that so poor a piece of wit as this should have furnished +diversion to a couple of light-hearted girls, with no special +pretensions to elegance or education. Once they were driving together in +a post-chaise on the road to Newcastle, and my aunt, having at hand in a +box part of a military equipment intended for some farce, accoutred her +upper woman in a soldier's cap, stock, and jacket, and, with heavily +corked mustaches, persisted in embracing her companion, whose frantic +resistance, screams of laughter, and besmirched cheeks, elicited +comments of boundless amazement, in broad north-country dialect, from +the market folk they passed on the road, to whom they must have appeared +the most violent runaway couple that ever traveled. + +Liston, the famous comedian, was at this time a member of the Durham +company, and though he began his career there by reciting Collins's "Ode +to the Passions," attired in a pea-green coat, buckskins, top-boots, and +powder, with a scroll in his hand, and followed up this essay of his +powers with the tragic actor's battle-horse, the part of Hamlet, he soon +found his peculiar gift to lie in the diametrically opposite direction +of broad farce. Of this he was perpetually interpolating original +specimens in the gravest performances of his fellow-actors; on one +occasion suddenly presenting to Mrs. Stephen Kemble, as she stood +disheveled at the side scene, ready to go on the stage as Ophelia in her +madness, a basket with carrots, turnips, onions, leeks, and pot-herbs, +instead of the conventional flowers and straws of the stage maniac, +which sent the representative of the fair Ophelia on in a broad grin, +with ill-suppressed fury and laughter, which must have given quite an +original character of verisimilitude to the insanity she counterfeited. + +On another occasion he sent all the little chorister boys on, in the +lugubrious funeral procession in "Romeo and Juliet," with pieces of +brown paper in their hands to wipe their tears with. + +The suppression of that very dreadful piece of stage pageantry has at +last, I believe, been conceded to the better taste of modern audiences; +but even in my time it was still performed, and an exact representation +of a funeral procession, such as one meets every day in Rome, with +torch-bearing priests, and bier covered with its black-velvet pall, +embroidered with skull and cross-bones, with a corpse-like figure +stretched upon it, marched round the stage, chanting some portion of the +fine Roman Catholic requiem music. I have twice been in the theatre when +persons have been seized with epilepsy during that ghastly exhibition, +and think the good judgment that has discarded such a mimicry of a +solemn religious ceremony highly commendable. + +Another evening, Liston, having painted Fanny Kemble's face like a +clown's, posted her at one of the stage side doors to confront her +mother, poor Mrs. Stephen Kemble, entering at the opposite one to +perform some dismally serious scene of dramatic pathos, who, on suddenly +beholding this grotesque apparition of her daughter, fell into +convulsions of laughter and coughing, and half audible exclamations of +"Go away, Fanny! I'll tell your father, miss!" which must have had the +effect of a sudden seizure of madness to the audience, accustomed to the +rigid decorum of the worthy woman in the discharge of her theatrical +duties. + +Long after these provincial exploits, and when he had become the +comedian _par excellence_ of the English stage, for which eminence +nature and art had alike qualified him by the imperturbable gravity of +his extraordinarily ugly face, which was such an irresistibly comical +element in his broadest and most grotesque performances, Mr. Liston used +to exert his ludicrous powers of tormenting his fellow-actors in the +most cruel manner upon that sweet singer, Miss Stephens (afterward +Countess of Essex). She had a curious nervous trick of twitching her +dress before she began to sing; this peculiarity was well known to all +her friends, and Liston, who certainly was one of them, used to agonize +the poor woman by standing at the side scene, while the symphony of her +pathetic ballads was being played, and indicating by his eyes and +gestures that something was amiss with the trimming or bottom of her +dress; when, as invariably as he chose to play the trick, poor Miss +Stephens used to begin to twitch and catch at her petticoat, and half +hysterical, between laughing and crying, would enchant and entrance her +listeners with her exquisite voice and pathetic rendering of "Savourneen +Deelish" or "The Banks of Allan Water." + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Two young men, officers of a militia regiment, became admirers of the +two young country actresses: how long an acquaintance existed before the +fact became evident that they were seriously paying their addresses to +the girls, I do not know; nor how long the struggle lasted between pride +and conventional respectability on the part of the young men's families +and the pertinacity of their attachment. + +Fanny Kemble's suitor, Robert Arkwright, had certainly no pretensions to +dignity of descent, and the old Derbyshire barber, Sir Richard, or his +son could hardly have stood out long upon that ground, though the +immense wealth realized by their ingenuity and industry was abundant +worldly reason for objections to such a match, no doubt. + +However that may be, the opposition was eventually overcome by the +determination of the lovers, and they were married; while to the others +a far different fate was allotted. The young man who addressed my aunt, +whose name I do not know, was sent for by his father, a wealthy +Yorkshire squire, who, upon his refusing to give up his mistress, +instantly assembled all the servants and tenants, and declared before +them all that the young gentleman, his son (and supposed heir), was +illegitimate, and thenceforth disinherited and disowned. He enlisted and +went to India, and never saw my aunt again. Mrs. Arkwright went home to +Stoke, to the lovely house and gardens in the Peak of Derbyshire, to +prosperity and wealth, to ease and luxury, and to the love of husband +and children. Later in life she enjoyed, in her fine mansion of Sutton, +the cordial intimacy of the two great county magnates, her neighbors, +the Dukes of Rutland and Devonshire, the latter of whom was her admiring +and devoted friend till her death. In the society of the high-born and +gay and gifted with whom she now mixed, and among whom her singular +gifts made her remarkable, the enthusiasm she excited never impaired the +transparent and childlike simplicity and sincerity of her nature. There +was something very peculiar about the single-minded, simple-hearted +genuineness of Mrs. Arkwright which gave an unusual charm of +unconventionality and fervid earnestness to her manner and conversation. +I remember her telling me, with the most absolute conviction, that she +thought wives were bound implicitly to obey their husbands, for she +believed that at the day of judgment husbands would be answerable for +their wives' souls. + +It was in the midst of a life full of all the most coveted elements of +worldly enjoyment, and when she was still beautiful and charming, though +no longer young, that I first knew her. Her face and voice were heavenly +sweet, and very sad; I do not know why she made so profoundly melancholy +an impression upon me, but she was so unlike all that surrounded her, +that she constantly suggested to me the one live drop of water in the +middle of a globe of ice. The loss of her favorite son affected her with +irrecoverable sorrow, and she passed a great portion of the last years +of her life at a place called Cullercoats, a little fishing village on +the north coast, to which when a young girl she used to accompany her +father and mother for rest and refreshment, when the hard life from +which her marriage released her allowed them a few days' respite by the +rocks and sands and breakers of the Northumberland shore. The Duke of +Devonshire, whose infirmity of deafness did not interfere with his +enjoyment of music, was an enthusiastic admirer of Mrs. Arkwright, and +her constant and affectionate friend. Their proximity of residence in +Derbyshire made their opportunities of meeting very frequent, and when +the Arkwrights visited London, Devonshire House was, if they chose it, +their hotel. His attachment to her induced him, towards the end of his +life, to take a residence in the poor little village of Cullercoats, +whither she loved to resort, and where she died. I possess a copy of a +beautiful drawing of a head of Mrs. Arkwright, given to me by the duke, +for whom the original was executed. It is only a head, with the eyes +raised to heaven, and the lips parted, as in the act of singing; and the +angelic sweetness of the countenance may perhaps suggest, to those who +never heard her, the voice that seemed like that face turned to sound. + +So Fanny Kemble married, and Adelaide Decamp came and lived with us, and +was the good angel of our home. All intercourse between the two (till +then inseparable companions) ceased for many years, and my aunt began +her new life with a bitter bankruptcy of love and friendship, happiness +and hope, that would have dried the sap of every sweet affection, and +made even goodness barren, in many a woman's heart for ever. + +Without any home but my father's house, without means of subsistence but +the small pittance which he was able to give her, in most grateful +acknowledgment of her unremitting care of us, without any joys or hopes +but those of others, without pleasure in the present or expectation in +the future, apparently without memory of the past, she spent her whole +life in the service of my parents and their children, and lived and +moved and had her being in a serene, unclouded, unvarying atmosphere of +cheerful, self-forgetful content that was heroic in its absolute +unconsciousness. She is the only person I can think of who appeared to +me to have fulfilled Wordsworth's conception of + + "Those blessed ones who do God's will and know it not." + +I have never seen either man or woman like her, in her humble +excellence, and I am thankful that, knowing what the circumstances of +her whole life were, she yet seems to me the happiest human being I have +known. She died, as she had lived, in the service of others. When I went +with my father to America, my mother remained in England, and my aunt +came with us, to take care of me. She died in consequence of the +overturning of a carriage (in which we were travelling), from which she +received a concussion of the spine; and her last words to me, after a +night of angelic endurance of restless fever and suffering, were, "Open +the window; let in the blessed light"--almost the same as Goethe's, with +a characteristic difference. It was with the hope of giving her the +proceeds of its publication, as a token of my affectionate gratitude, +that I printed my American journal; that hope being defeated by her +death, I gave them, for her sake, to her younger sister, my aunt +Victoire Decamp. This sister of my mother's was, when we were living in +Covent Garden Chambers, a governess in a school at Lea, near Blackheath. + +The school was kept by ladies of the name of Guinani, sisters to the +wife of Charles Young--the Julia so early lost, so long loved and +lamented by him. I was a frequent and much-petted visitor to their +house, which never fulfilled the austere purpose implied in its name to +me, for all my days there were holidays; and I remember hours of special +delight passed in a large drawing-room where two fine cedars of Lebanon +threw grateful gloom into the windows, and great tall china jars of +pot-pourri filled the air with a mixed fragrance of roses and (as it +seemed to me) plum-pudding, and where hung a picture, the contemplation +of which more than once moved me to tears, after I had been given to +understand that the princely personage and fair-headed baby in a boat in +the midst of a hideous black sea, overhung by a hideous black sky, were +Prospero, the good Duke of Milan, and his poor little princess daughter, +Miranda, cast forth by wicked relations to be drowned. + +It was while we were still living in Covent Garden Chambers that Talma, +the great French actor, came to London. He knew both my uncle and my +father, and was highly esteemed and greatly admired by both of them. He +called one day upon my father, when nobody was at home, and the servant +who opened the door holding me by the hand, the famous French actor, who +spoke very good English, though not without the "pure Parisian accent," +took some kind of notice of me, desiring me to be sure and remember his +name, and tell my father that Mr. Talma, the great French tragedian, had +called. I replied that I would do so, and then added, with noble +emulation, that my father was also a great tragedian, and my uncle was +also a great tragedian, and that we had a baby in the nursery who I +thought must be a great tragedian too, for she did nothing but cry, and +what was that if not tragedy?--which edifying discourse found its way +back to my mother, to whom Talma laughingly repeated it. I have heard my +father say that on the occasion of this visit of Talma's to London, he +consulted my uncle on the subject of acting in English. Hamlet was one +of his great parts, and he made as fine a thing of Ducis' cold, and +stiff, and formal adaptation of Shakespeare's noble work as his meagre +material allowed; but, as I have said before, he spoke English well, and +thought it not impossible to undertake the part in the original +language. My uncle, however, strongly dissuaded him from it, thinking +the decided French accent an insuperable obstacle to his success, and +being very unwilling that he should risk by a failure in the attempt his +deservedly high reputation. A friend of mine, at a dinner party, being +asked if she had seen Mr. Fechter in Hamlet, replied in the negative, +adding that she did not think she should relish Shakespeare declaimed +with a foreign accent. The gentleman who had questioned her said, "Ah, +very true indeed--perhaps not;" then, looking attentively at his plate, +from which I suppose he drew the inspiration of what followed, he added, +"And yet--after all, you know, Hamlet was a foreigner." This view of the +case had probably not suggested itself to John Kemble, and so he +dissuaded Talma from the experiment. While referring to Mr. Fechter's +personification of Hamlet, and the great success which it obtained in +the fashionable world, I wish to preserve a charming instance of naïve +ignorance in a young guardsman, seduced by the enthusiasm of the gay +society of London into going, for once, to see a play of Shakespeare's. +After sitting dutifully through some scenes in silence, he turned to a +fellow-guardsman, who was painfully looking and listening by his side, +with the grave remark, "I say, George, _dooced_ odd play this; its all +full of quotations." The young military gentleman had occasionally, it +seems, heard Shakespeare quoted, and remembered it. + +To return to my story. About this time it was determined that I should +be sent to school in France. My father was extremely anxious to give me +every advantage that he could, and Boulogne, which was not then the +British Alsatia it afterwards became, and where there was a girl's +school of some reputation, was chosen as not too far from home to send a +mite seven years old, to acquire the French language and begin her +education. And so to Boulogne I went, to a school in the oddly named +"Rue tant perd tant paie," in the old town, kept by a rather sallow and +grim, but still vivacious old Madame Faudier, with the assistance of her +daughter, Mademoiselle Flore, a bouncing, blooming beauty of a discreet +age, whose florid complexion, prominent black eyes, plaited and +profusely pomatumed black hair, and full, commanding figure, attired for +fête days, in salmon-colored merino, have remained vividly impressed +upon my memory. What I learned here except French (which I could not +help learning), I know not. I was taught music, dancing, and Italian, +the latter by a Signor Mazzochetti, an object of special detestation to +me, whose union with Mademoiselle Flore caused a temporary fit of +rejoicing in the school. The small seven-year-old beginnings of such +particular humanities I mastered with tolerable success, but if I may +judge from the frequency of my _penitences_, humanity in general was not +instilled into me without considerable trouble. I was a sore torment, no +doubt, to poor Madame Faudier, who, on being once informed by some +alarmed passers in the street that one of her "demoiselles" was +perambulating the house roof, is reported to have exclaimed, in a +paroxysm of rage and terror, "Ah, ce ne peut etre que cette _diable_ de +Kemble!" and sure enough it was I. Having committed I know not what +crime, I had been thrust for chastisement into a lonely garret, where, +having nothing earthly to do but look about me, I discovered (like a +prince in the Arabian Nights) a ladder leading to a trap-door, and +presently was out on a sort of stone coping, which ran round the steep +roof of the high, old-fashioned house, surveying with serene +satisfaction the extensive prospect landward and seaward, unconscious +that I was at the same time an object of terror to the beholders in the +street below. Snatched from the perilous delight of this bad eminence, I +was (again, I think, rather like the Arabian prince) forthwith plunged +into the cellar; where I curled myself up on the upper step, close to +the heavy door that had been locked upon me, partly for the comfort of +the crack of light that squeezed itself through it, and partly, I +suppose, from some vague idea that there was no bottom to the steps, +derived from my own terror rather than from any precise historical +knowledge of oubliettes and donjons, with the execrable treachery of +stairs suddenly ending in mid-darkness over an abyss. I suppose I +suffered a martyrdom of fear, for I remember upwards of thirty years +afterwards having this very cellar, and my misery in it, brought before +my mind suddenly, with intense vividness, while reading, in Victor +Hugo's Notre Dame, poor Esmeralda's piteous entreaties for deliverance +from her underground prison: "Oh laissez moi sortir! j'ai froid! j'ai +peur! et des bêtes me montent le long du corps." The latter hideous +detail certainly completes the exquisite misery of the picture. Less +justifiable than banishment to lonely garrets, whence egress was to be +found only by the roof, or dark incarceration in cellars whence was no +egress at all, was another device, adopted to impress me with the evil +of my ways, and one which seems to me so foolish in its cruelty, that +the only amazement is, how anybody entrusted with the care of children +could dream of any good result from such a method of impressing a little +girl not eight years old. There was to be an execution in the town of +some wretched malefactor, who was condemned to be guillotined, and I was +told that I should be taken to see this supreme act of legal +retribution, in order that I might know to what end evil courses +conducted people. We all remember the impressive fable of "Don't Care," +who came to be hanged, but I much doubt if any of the thousands of young +Britons whose bosoms have been made to thrill with salutary terror at +his untimely end were ever taken by their parents and guardians to see a +hanging, by way of enforcing the lesson. Whether it was ever intended +that I should witness the ghastly spectacle of this execution, or +whether it was expressly contrived that I should come too late, I know +not; it is to be hoped that my doing so was not accidental, but +mercifully intentional. Certain it is, that when I was taken to the +Grande Place the slaughter was over; but I saw the guillotine, and +certain gutters running red with what I was told (whether truly or not) +was blood, and a sad-looking man, busied about the terrible machine, +who, it was said, was the executioner's son; all which lugubrious +objects, no doubt, had their due effect upon my poor childish +imagination and nervous system, with a benefit to my moral nature which +I should think highly problematical. + +The experiments tried upon the minds and souls of children by those who +undertake to train them, are certainly among the most mysterious of +Heaven-permitted evils. The coarse and cruel handling of these +wonderfully complex and delicate machines by ignorant servants, ignorant +teachers, and ignorant parents, fills one with pity and with amazement +that the results of such processes should not be even more disastrous +than they are. + +In the nature of many children exists a capacity of terror equalled in +its intensity only by the reticence which conceals it. The fear of +ridicule is strong in these sensitive small souls, but even that is +inadequate to account for the silent agony with which they hug the +secret of their fear. Nursery and schoolroom authorities, fonder of +power than of principle, find their account in both these tendencies, +and it is marvellous to what a point tyranny may be exercised by means +of their double influence over children, the sufferers never having +recourse to the higher parental authority by which they would be +delivered from the nightmare of silent terror imposed upon them. + +The objects that excite the fears of children are often as curious and +unaccountable as their secret intensity. A child four years of age, who +was accustomed to be put to bed in a dressing-room opening into her +mother's room, and near her nursery, and was left to go to sleep alone, +from a desire that she should not be watched and lighted to sleep (or in +fact kept awake, after a very common nursery practice), endured this +discipline without remonstrance, and only years afterwards informed her +mother that she never was so left in her little bed, alone in the +darkness, without a full conviction that a large black dog was lying +under it, which terrible imagination she never so much as hinted at, or +besought for light or companionship to dispel. Miss Martineau told me +once, that a special object of horror to her, when she was a child, were +the colors of the prism, a thing in itself so beautiful, that it is +difficult to conceive how any imagination could be painfully impressed +by it; but her terror of these magical colors was such, that she used to +rush past the room, even when the door was closed, where she had seen +them reflected from the chandelier, by the sunlight, on the wall. + +The most singular instance I ever knew, however, of unaccountable terror +produced in a child's mind by the pure action of its imagination, was +that of a little boy who overheard a conversation between his mother and +a friend upon the subject of the purchase of some stuff, which she had +not bought, "because," said she, "it was ell wide." The words "ell +wide," perfectly incomprehensible to the child, seized upon his fancy, +and produced some image of terror by which for a long time his poor +little mind was haunted. Certainly this is a powerful instance, among +innumerable and striking ones, of the fact that the fears of children +are by no means the result of the objects of alarm suggested to them by +the ghost-stories, bogeys, etc., of foolish servants and companions; +they quite as often select or create their terrors for themselves, from +sources so inconceivably strange, that all precaution proves ineffectual +to protect them from this innate tendency of the imaginative faculty. +This "ell wide" horror is like something in a German story. The strange +aversion, coupled with a sort of mysterious terror, for beautiful and +agreeable or even quite commonplace objects, is one of the secrets of +the profound impression which the German writers of fiction produce. It +belongs peculiarly to their national genius, some of whose most striking +and thrilling conceptions are pervaded with this peculiar form of the +sentiment of fear. Hoffman and Tieck are especially powerful in their +use of it, and contrive to give a character of vague mystery to simple +details of prosaic events and objects, to be found in no other works of +fiction. The terrible conception of the _Doppelgänger_, which exists in +a modified form as the wraith of Scottish legendary superstition, is +rendered infinitely more appalling by being taken out of its misty +highland half-light of visionary indefiniteness, and produced in +frock-coat and trousers, in all the shocking distinctness of +commonplace, everyday, contemporary life. The Germans are the only +people whose imaginative faculty can cope with the homeliest forms of +reality, and infuse into them _vagueness_, that element of terror most +alien from familiar things. That they may be tragic enough we know, but +that they have in them a mysterious element of terror of quite +indefinite depth, German writers alone know how to make us feel. + +I do not think that in my own instance the natural cowardice with which +I was femininely endowed was unusually or unduly cultivated in +childhood; but with a highly susceptible and excitable nervous +temperament and ill-regulated imagination, I have suffered from every +conceivable form of terror; and though, for some inexplicable reason, I +have always had the reputation of being fearless, have really, all my +life, been extremely deficient in courage. + +Very impetuous, and liable to be carried away by any strong emotion, my +entire want of self-control and prudence, I suppose, conveyed the +impression that I was equally without fear; but the truth is that, as a +wise friend once said to me, I have always been "as rash and as cowardly +as a child;" and none of my sex ever had a better right to apply to +herself Shakespeare's line-- + + "A woman, naturally born to fears." + +The only agreeable impression I retain of my school-days at Boulogne is +that of the long half-holiday walks we were allowed to indulge in. Not +the two-and-two, dull, dreary, daily procession round the ramparts, but +the disbanded freedom of the sunny afternoon, spent in gathering +wild-flowers along the pretty, secluded valley of the Liane, through +which no iron road then bore its thundering freight. Or, better still, +clambering, straying, playing hide-and-seek, or sitting telling and +hearing fairy tales among the great carved blocks of stone, which lay, +in ignominious purposelessness, around the site on the high, grassy +cliff where Napoleon the First--the Only--had decreed that his triumphal +pillar should point its finger of scorn at our conquered, "pale-faced +shores." Best of all, however, was the distant wandering, far out along +the sandy dunes, to what used to be called "La Gárenne;" I suppose +because of the wild rabbits that haunted it, who--hunted and rummaged +from their burrows in the hillocks of coarse grass by a pitiless pack of +school-girls--must surely have wondered after our departure, when they +came together stealthily, with twitching noses, ears, and tails, what +manner of fiendish visitation had suddenly come and gone, scaring their +peaceful settlement on the silent, solitary sea-shore. + +Before I left Boulogne, the yearly solemnity of the distribution of +prizes took place. This was, at Madame Faudier's, as at all French +schools of that day, a most exciting event. Special examinations +preceded it, for which the pupils prepared themselves with diligent +emulation. The prefect, the sub-prefect, the mayor, the bishop, all the +principal civil and religious authorities of the place, were invited to +honor the ceremony with their presence. The courtyard of the house was +partly inclosed, and covered over with scaffoldings, awnings, and +draperies, under which a stage was erected, and this, together with the +steps that led to it, was carpeted with crimson, and adorned with a +profusion of flowers. One of the dignified personages, seated around a +table on which the books designed for prizes were exhibited, pronounced +a discourse commendatory of past efforts and hortatory to future ones, +and the pupils, all _en grande toilette_, and seated on benches facing +the stage, were summoned through the rows of admiring parents, friends, +acquaintances, and other invited guests, to receive the prizes awarded +for excellence in the various branches of our small curriculum. I was +the youngest girl in the school, but I was a quick, clever child, and a +lady, a friend of my family, who was present, told me many years after, +how well she remembered the frequent summons to the dais received by a +small, black-eyed damsel, the _cadette_ of the establishment. I have +considerable doubt that any good purpose could be answered by this +public appeal to the emulation of a parcel of school-girls; but I have +no doubt at all that abundant seeds of vanity, self-love, and love of +display, were sown by it, which bore their bad harvest many a long year +after. + +I left Boulogne when I was almost nine years old, and returned home, +where I remained upwards of two years before being again sent to school. +During this time we lived chiefly at a place called Craven Hill, +Bayswater, where we occupied at different periods three different +houses. + +My mother always had a detestation of London, which I have cordially +inherited. The dense, heavy atmosphere, compounded of smoke and fog, +painfully affected her breathing and oppressed her spirits; and the +deafening clangor of its ceaseless uproar irritated her nerves and +distressed her in a manner which I invariably experience whenever I am +compelled to pass any time in that huge Hubbub. She perpetually yearned +for the fresh air and the quiet of the country. Occupied as my father +was, however, this was an impossible luxury; and my poor mother escaped +as far as her circumstances would allow from London, and towards the +country, by fixing her home at the place I have mentioned. In those days +Tyburnia did not exist; nor all the vast region of Paddingtonian London. +Tyburn turnpike, of nefarious memory, still stood at the junction of +Oxford Road and the Edgeware Road, and between the latter and Bayswater +open fields traversed by the canal, with here and there an isolated +cottage dotted about them, stretched on one side of the high-road; and +on the other, the untidy, shaggy, ravelled-looking selvage of Hyde Park; +not trimmed with shady walks and flower borders and smooth grass and +bright iron railing as now, but as forbidding in its neglected aspect as +the desolate stretch of uninclosed waste on the opposite side. + +About a mile from Tyburn Gate a lane turned off on the right, following +which one came to a meadow, with a path across its gentle rise which led +to the row of houses called Craven Hill. I do not think there were +twenty in all, and some of them, such as Lord Ferrar's and the Harley +House, were dwellings of some pretension. Even the most modest of them +had pretty gardens in front and behind, and verandas and balconies with +flowering creepers and shrubberies, and a general air of semi-rurality +that cheated my poor mother with a make-believe effect of being, if not +in the country, at any rate out of town. And infinite were the devices +of her love of elegance and comfort produced from the most unpromising +materials, but making these dwellings of ours pretty and pleasant beyond +what could have been thought possible. She had a peculiar taste and +talent for furnishing and fitting up; and her means being always very +limited, her zeal was great for frequenting sales, where she picked up +at reasonable prices quaint pieces of old furniture, which she brought +with great triumph to the assistance of the commonplace upholstery of +our ready-furnished dwellings. Nobody ever had such an eye for the +disposal of every article in a room, at once for greatest convenience +and best appearance; and I never yet saw the apartment into which by her +excellent arrangement she did not introduce an element of comfort and +elegance--a liveable look, which the rooms of people unendowed with that +special faculty never acquire, and never retain, however handsome or +finely fitted up they may be. I am sorry to be obliged to add, however, +that she had a rage for moving her furniture from one place to another, +which never allowed her to let well alone; and not unfrequently her mere +desire for change destroyed the very best results of her own good taste. +We never knew when we might find the rooms a perfect chaos of disorder, +with every chair, table, and sofa "dancing the hayes" in horrid +confusion; while my mother, crimson and dishevelled with pulling and +pushing them hither and thither, was breathlessly organizing new +combinations. Nor could anything be more ludicrous than my father's +piteous aspect, on arriving in the midst of this _remue-ménage_, or the +poor woman's profound mortification when, finding everything moved from +its last position (for the twentieth time), he would look around, and, +instead of all the commendation she expected, exclaim in dismay, "Why, +bless my soul! what has happened to the room, _again_!" Our furniture +played an everlasting game of puss in the corner; and I am thankful that +I have inherited some of my mother's faculty of arranging, without any +of her curious passion for changing the aspect of her rooms. + +A pretty, clever, and rather silly and affected woman, Mrs. Charles +M----, who had a great passion for dress, was saying one day to my +mother, with a lackadaisical drawl she habitually made use of, "What do +you do when you have a headache, or are bilious, or cross, or nervous, +or out of spirits? I always change my dress; it does me so much good!" +"Oh," said my mother, briskly, "I change the furniture." I think she +must have regarded it as a panacea for all the ills of life. Mrs. +Charles M---- was the half-sister of that amiable woman and admirable +actress, Miss Kelly. + +To return to Craven Hill. A row of very fine elm trees was separated +only by the carriage-road from the houses, whose front windows looked +through their branches upon a large, quiet, green meadow, and beyond +that to an extensive nursery garden of enchanting memory, where our +weekly allowances were expended in pots of violets and flower-seeds and +roots of future fragrance, for our small gardens: this pleasant +foreground divided us from the Bayswater Road and Kensington Gardens. At +the back of the houses and their grounds stretched a complete open of +meadow land, with hedgerows and elm trees, and hardly any building in +sight in any direction. Certainly this was better than the smoke and din +of London. To my father, however, the distance was a heavy increase of +his almost nightly labor at the theatre. Omnibuses were no part of +London existence then; a hackney coach (there were no cabs, either +four-wheelers or hansoms) was a luxury to be thought of only +occasionally, and for part of the way; and so he generally wound up his +hard evening's work with a five miles' walk from Covent Garden to Craven +Hill. + +It was perhaps the inconvenience of this process that led to our taking, +in addition to our "rural" residence, a lodging in Gerard Street, Soho. +The house immediately fronts Anne Street, and is now a large +establishment for the sale of lamps. It was a handsome old house, and at +one time belonged to the "wicked" Lord Lyttleton. At the time I speak +of, we occupied only a part of it, the rest remaining in the possession +of the proprietor, who was a picture-dealer, and his collection of dusky +_chefs-d'oeuvre_ covered the walls of the passages and staircases with +dark canvas, over whose varnished surface ill-defined figures and +ill-discerned faces seemed to flit, as with some trepidation I ran past +them. The house must have been a curious as well as a very large one; +but I never saw more of it than our own apartments, which had some +peculiarities that I remember. Our dining-room was a very large, lofty, +ground-floor room, fitted up partially as a library with my father's +books, and having at the farther end, opposite the windows, two heavy, +fluted pillars, which gave it rather a dignified appearance. My mother's +drawing-room, which was on the first floor and at the back of the house, +was oval in shape and lighted only by a skylight; and one entrance to it +was through a small anteroom or boudoir, with looking-glass doors and +ceiling all incrusted with scrolls and foliage and _rococo_ Louis Quinze +style of ornamentation, either in plaster or carved in wood and painted +white. There were back staircases and back doors without number, leading +in all directions to unknown regions; and the whole house, with its +remains of magnificence and curious lumber of objects of art and +_vertu_, was a very appropriate frame for the traditional ill-repute of +its former noble owner. + +A ludicrous circumstance enough, I remember, occurred, which produced no +little uproar and amusement in one of its dreariest chambers. My brother +John was at this time eagerly pursuing the study of chemistry for his +own amusement, and had had an out-of-the-way sort of spare bedroom +abandoned to him for his various ill savored materials and scientific +processes, from which my mother suffered a chronic terror of sudden +death by blowing up. There was a monkey in the house, belonging to our +landlord, and generally kept confined in his part of it, whence the +knowledge of his existence only reached us through anecdotes brought by +the servants. One day, however, an alarm was spread that the monkey had +escaped from his own legitimate quarters and was running wild over the +house. Chase was given, and every hole and corner searched in vain for +the mischievous ape, who was at length discovered in what my brother +dignified by the title of his laboratory, where, in a frenzy of gleeful +activity, he was examining first one bottle and then another; finally he +betook himself, with indescribably grotesque grinnings and chatterings, +to uncorking and sniffing at them, and then pouring their contents +deliberately out on the (luckily carpetless) floor,--a joke which might +have had serious results for himself, as well as the house, if he had +not in the midst of it suffered ignoble capture and been led away to his +own quarters; my mother that time, certainly, escaping imminent "blowing +up." + +While we were living in Gerard Street, my uncle Kemble came for a short +time to London from Lausanne, where he had fixed his residence--compelled +to live abroad, under penalty of seeing the private fortune he had +realized by a long life of hard professional labor swept into the ruin +which had fallen upon Covent Garden Theatre, of which he was part +proprietor. And I always associate this my only recollection of his +venerable white hair and beautiful face, full of an expression of most +benign dignity, with the earliest mention I remember of that luckless +property, which weighed like an incubus upon my father all his life, and +the ruinous burden of which both I and my sister successively endeavored +in vain to prop. + +My mother at this time gave lessons in acting to a few young women who +were preparing themselves for the stage; and I recollect very well the +admiration my uncle expressed for the beauty of one of them, an +extremely handsome Miss Dance, who, I think, came out successfully, but +soon married, and relinquished her profession. + +This young lady was the daughter of a violinist and musical composer, +whose name has a place in my memory from seeing it on a pretty musical +setting for the voice of some remarkably beautiful verses, the author of +which I have never been able to discover. I heard they had been taken +out of that old-fashioned receptacle for stray poetical gems, the poet's +corner of a country newspaper. I write them here as accurately as I can +from memory; it is more than fifty years since I learnt them, and I have +never met with any copy of them but that contained in the old music +sheet of Mr. Dance's duet. + + SONG OF THE SPIRIT OF MORN. + + Now on their couch of rest + Mortals are sleeping, + While in dark, dewy vest, + Flowerets are weeping. + Ere the last star of night + Fades in the fountain, + My finger of rosy light + Touches the mountain. + + Far on his filmy wing + Twilight is wending, + Shadows encompassing, + Terrors attending: + While my foot's fiery print, + Up my path showing, + Gleams with celestial tint. + Brilliantly glowing, + + Now from my pinions fair + Freshness is streaming, + And from my yellow hair + Glories are gleaming. + Nature with pure delight + Hails my returning, + And Sol, from his chamber bright, + Crowns the young morning. + +My uncle John returned to Switzerland, and I never saw him again; he had +made over his share of Covent Garden to my father, and went back to live +and die in peace at his Beau Site on the Lake of Geneva. + +The first time that I visited Lausanne I went to his grave, and found it +in the old burial-ground above the town, where I wonder the dead have +patience to lie still, for the glorious beauty of the view their +resting-place commands. It was one among a row of graves with broad, +flat tombstones bearing English names, and surrounded with iron +railings, and flowers more or less running wild. + +My father received the property my uncle transferred to him with +cheerful courage, and not without sanguine hopes of retrieving its +fortunes: instead of which, it destroyed his and those of his family; +who, had he and they been untrammelled by the fatal obligation of +working for a hopelessly ruined concern, might have turned their labors +to far better personal account. Of the eighty thousand pounds which my +uncle sank in building Covent Garden, and all the years of toil my +father and myself and my sister sank in endeavoring to sustain it, +nothing remained to us at my father's death; not even the ownership of +the only thing I ever valued the property for,--the private box which +belonged to us, the yearly rent of which was valued at three hundred +pounds, and the possession of which procured us for several years many +evenings of much enjoyment. + +The only other recollection I have connected with Gerard Street is that +of certain passages from "Paradise Lost," read to me by my father, the +sonorous melody of which so enchanted me, that for many years of my life +Milton was to me incomparably the first of English poets; though at this +time of my earliest acquaintance with him, Walter Scott had precedence +over him, and was undoubtedly in my opinion greatest of mortal and +immortal bards. His "Marmion" and "Lay of the Last Minstrel" were +already familiar to me. Of Shakespeare at this time, and for many +subsequent years, I knew not a single line. + +While our lodging in town was principally inhabited by my father and +resorted to by my mother as a convenience, my aunt Dall, and we +children, had our home at my mother's _rus in urbe_, Craven Hill, where +we remained until I went again to school in France. + +Our next door neighbors were, on one side, a handsome, dashing Mrs. +Blackshaw, sister of George the Fourth's favorite, Beau Brummel, whose +daughters were good friends of ours; and on the other Belzoni, the +Egyptian traveller, and his wife, with whom we were well acquainted. The +wall that separated our gardens was upwards of six feet high,--it +reached above my father's head, who was full six feet tall,--but our +colossal friend, the Italian, looked down upon us over it quite easily, +his large handsome face showing well above it, down to his magnificent +auburn beard, which in those less hirsute days than these he seldom +exhibited, except in the privacy of his own back garden, where he used +occasionally to display it, to our immense delight and astonishment. +Great, too, was our satisfaction in visiting Madame Belzoni, who used to +receive us in rooms full of strange spoils, brought back by herself and +her husband from the East; she sometimes smoked a long Turkish pipe, and +generally wore a dark blue sort of caftan, with a white turban on her +head. Another of our neighbors here was Latour, the musical composer, to +whom, though he was personally good-natured and kind to me, I owe a +grudge, for the sake of his "Music for Young Persons," and only regret +that he was not our next-door neighbor, when he would have execrated his +own "O Dolce Concerto," and "Sul Margine d'un Rio," and all his +innumerable progeny of variations for two hands and four hands, as +heartily as I did. I do not know whether it was instigated by his advice +or not that my mother at this time made me take lessons of a certain Mr. +Laugier, who received pupils at his own house, near Russell Square, and +taught them thorough-bass and counterpoint, and the science of musical +composition. I attended his classes for some time, and still possess +books full of the grammar of music, as profound and difficult a study, +almost, as the grammar of language. But I think I was too young to +derive much benefit from so severe a science, and in spite of my books +full of musical "parsing," so to speak, declensions of chords, and +conjugations of scales, I do not think I learned much from Mr. Laugier, +and, never having followed up this beginning of the real study of music, +my knowledge of it has been only of that empirical and contemptible sort +which goes no further than the end of boarding-school young ladies' +fingers, and sometimes, at any rate, amounts to tolerably skilful and +accurate execution; a result I never attained, in spite of Mr. Laugier's +thorough-bass and a wicked invention called a chiroplast, for which, I +think, he took out a patent, and for which I suppose all luckless girls +compelled to practice with it thought he ought to have taken out a +halter. It was a brass rod made to screw across the keys, on which were +_strung_, like beads, two brass frames for the hands, with separate +little cells for the fingers, these being secured to the brass rod +precisely at the part of the instrument on which certain exercises were +to be executed. Another brass rod was made to pass under the wrist in +order to maintain it also in its proper position, and thus incarcerated, +the miserable little hands performed their daily, dreary monotony of +musical exercise, with, I imagine, really no benefit at all from the +irksome constraint of this horrid machine, that could not have been +imparted quite as well, if not better, by a careful teacher. I had, +however, no teacher at this time but my aunt Dall, and I suppose the +chiroplast may have saved her some trouble, by insuring that my +practising, which she could not always superintend, should not be merely +a process of acquiring innumerable bad habits for the exercise of the +patience of future teachers. + +My aunt at this time directed all my lessons, as well as the small +beginnings of my sister's education. My brother John was at Clapham with +Mr. Richardson, who was then compiling his excellent dictionary, in +which labor he employed the assistance of such of his pupils as showed +themselves intelligent enough for the occupation; and I have no doubt +that to this beginning of philological study my brother owed his +subsequent predilection for and addiction to the science of language. My +youngest brother, Henry, went to a day-school in the neighborhood. + +All children's amusements are more or less dramatic, and a theatre is a +favorite resource in most playrooms, and, naturally enough, held an +important place in ours. The printed sheets of small figures, +representing all the characters of certain popular pieces, which we +colored, and pasted on card-board and cut out, and then, by dint of long +slips of wood with a slit at one end, into which their feet were +inserted, moved on and off our small stage; the coloring of the scenery; +and all the arrangement and conduct of the pieces we represented, gave +us endless employment and amusement. My brother John was always manager +and spokesman in these performances, and when we had fitted up our +theatre with a _real_ blue silk curtain that would roll up, and a _real_ +set of foot-lights that would burn, and when he contrived, with some +resin and brimstone and salt put in a cup and set on fire, to produce a +diabolical sputter and flare and bad smell, significant of the blowing +up of the mill in "The Miller and his Men," great was our exultation. +This piece and "Blue Beard" were our "battle horses," to which we +afterwards added a lugubrious melodrama called "The Gypsy's Curse" (it +had nothing whatever to do with "Guy Mannering"), of which I remember +nothing but some awful doggerel, beginning with-- + + "May thy path be still in sorrow, + May thy dark night know no morrow," + +which used to make my blood curdle with fright. + +About this time I was taken for the first time to a real play, and it +was to that paradise of juvenile spectators, Astley's, where we saw a +Highland horror called "Meg Murdoch, or the Mountain Hag," and a +mythological after-piece called "Hyppolita, Queen of the Amazons," in +which young ladies in very short and shining tunics, with burnished +breastplates, helmets, spears, and shields, performed sundry warlike +evolutions round her Majesty Hyppolita, who was mounted on a snow-white +_live_ charger: in the heat of action some of these fair warriors went +so far as to die, which martial heroism left an impression on my +imagination so deep and delightful as to have proved hitherto indelible. + +At length we determined ourselves to enact something worthy of notice +and approbation, and "Amoroso, King of Little Britain," was selected by +my brother John, our guide and leader in all matters of taste, for the +purpose. "Chrononhotonthologos" had been spoken of, but our youngest +performer, my sister, was barely seven years old, and I doubt if any of +us (but our manager) could have mastered the mere names of that famous +burlesque. Moreover, I think, in the piece we chose there were only four +principal characters, and we contrived to speak the words, and even sing +the songs, so much to our own satisfaction, that we thought we might +aspire to the honor of a hearing from our elders and betters. So we +produced our play before my father and mother and some of their friends, +who had good right (whatever their inclination might have been) to be +critical, for among them were Mr. and Mrs. Liston (the Amoroso and +Coquetinda of the real stage), Mr. and Mrs. Mathews, and Charles Young, +all intimate friends of my parents, whose children were our playmates, +and coadjutors in our performance. + +For Charles Matthews I have always retained a kindly regard for auld +lang syne's sake, though I hardly ever met him after he went on the +stage. He was well educated, and extremely clever and accomplished, and +I could not help regretting that his various acquirements and many +advantages for the career of an architect, for which his father destined +him, should be thrown away; though it was quite evident that he followed +not only the strong bent of his inclination, but the instinct of the +dramatic genius which he inherited from his eccentric and most original +father, when he adopted the profession of the stage, where, in his own +day, he has been unrivaled in the sparkling vivacity of his performance +of a whole range of parts in which nobody has approached the finish, +refinement, and spirit of his acting. Moreover, his whole demeanor, +carriage, and manner were so essentially those of a gentleman, that the +broadest farce never betrayed him into either coarseness or vulgarity; +and the comedy he acted, though often the lightest of the light, was +never anything in its graceful propriety but high comedy. No member of +the French theatre was ever at once a more finished and a more +delightfully amusing and _natural_ actor. + +Liston's son went into the army when he grew up, and I lost sight of +him. + +With the Rev. Julian Young, son of my dear old friend Charles Young, I +always remained upon the most friendly terms, meeting him with cordial +pleasure whenever my repeated returns to England brought us together, +and allowed us to renew the amicable relations that always subsisted +between us. + +I remember another family friend of ours at this time, a worthy old +merchant of the name of Mitchell, who was my brother John's godfather, +and to whose sombre, handsome city house I was taken once or twice to +dinner. He was at one time very rich, but lost all his fortune in some +untoward speculation, and he used to come and pay us long, sad, silent +visits, the friendly taciturnity of which I always compassionately +attributed to that circumstance, and wished that he had not lost the use +of his tongue as well as his money. + +While we were living at Craven Hill, my father's sister, Mrs. Whitelock, +came to live with us for some time. She was a very worthy but +exceedingly ridiculous woman, in whom the strong peculiarities of her +family were so exaggerated, that she really seemed like a living parody +or caricature of all the Kembles. + +She was a larger and taller woman than Mrs. Siddons, and had a fine, +commanding figure at the time I am speaking of, when she was quite an +elderly person. She was like her brother Stephen in face, with handsome +features, too large and strongly marked for a woman, light gray eyes, +and a light auburn wig, which, I presume, represented the color of her +previous hair, and which, together with the tall cap that surmounted it, +was always more or less on one side. She had the deep, sonorous voice +and extremely distinct utterance of her family, and an extraordinary +vehemence of gesture and expression quite unlike their quiet dignity and +reserve of manner, and which made her conversation like that of people +in old plays and novels; for she would slap her thigh in emphatic +enforcement of her statements (which were apt to be upon an incredibly +large scale), not unfrequently prefacing them with the exclamation, "I +declare to God!" or "I wish I may die!" all which seemed to us very +extraordinary, and combined with her large size and loud voice used +occasionally to cause us some dismay. My father used to call her Queen +Bess (her name was Elizabeth), declaring that her manners were like +those of that royal _un_-gentlewoman. But she was a simple-hearted, +sweet-tempered woman, whose harmless peculiarities did not prevent us +all being fond of her. + +She had a great taste and some talent for drawing, which she cultivated +with a devotion and industry unusual in so old a person. I still possess +a miniature copy she made of Clarke's life-size picture of my father as +Cromwell, which is not without merit. + +She was extremely fond of cards, and taught us to play the (even then) +old-fashioned game of quadrille, which my mother, who also liked cards, +and was a very good whist player, said had more variety in it than any +modern game. + +Mrs. Whitelock had been for a number of years in the United States, of +which (then comparatively little known) part of the world she used to +tell us stories that, from her characteristic exaggeration, we always +received with extreme incredulity; but my own experience, subsequent by +many years to hers, has corroborated her marvelous histories of flights +of birds that almost darkened the sun (_i.e._ threw a passing shadow as +of a cloud upon the ground), and roads with ruts and mud-holes into +which one's carriage sank up to the axle-tree. + +She used to tell us anecdotes of General Washington, to whom she had +been presented and had often seen (his favorite bespeak was always "The +School for Scandal"); and of Talleyrand, whom she also had often met, +and invariably called Prince _Tallierande_. She was once terrified by +being followed at evening, in the streets of Philadelphia, by a red +Indian savage, an adventure which has many times recurred to my mind +while traversing at all hours and in all directions the streets of that +most peaceful Quaker city, distant now by more than a thousand miles +from the nearest red Indian savage. Congress was sitting in Philadelphia +at that time; it was virtually the capital of the newly made United +States, and Mrs. Whitelock held an agreeable and respectable position +both in private and in public. I have been assured by persons as well +qualified to be critics as Judge Story, Chief-Justice Kent, and Judge +Hopkinson (Moore's friend), that she was an actress of considerable +ability. Perhaps she was; her Kemble name, face, figure, and voice no +doubt helped her to produce a certain effect on the stage; but she must +have been a very imperfectly educated woman. Nothing could be droller +than to see her with Mrs. Siddons, of whom she looked like a clumsy, +badly finished, fair imitation. Her vehement gestures and violent +objurgations contrasted comically with her sister's majestic stillness +of manner; and when occasionally Mrs. Siddons would interrupt her with, +"Elizabeth, your wig is on one side," and the other replied, "Oh, is +it?" and giving the offending head-gear a shove put it quite as crooked +in the other direction, and proceeded with her discourse, Melpomene +herself used to have recourse to her snuff-box to hide the dawning smile +on her face. + +I imagine that my education must have been making but little progress +during the last year of my residence at Craven Hill. I had no masters, +and my aunt Dall could ill supply the want of other teachers; moreover, +I was extremely troublesome and unmanageable, and had become a +tragically desperate young person, as my determination to poison my +sister, in revenge for some punishment which I conceived had been +unjustly inflicted upon me, will sufficiently prove. I had been warned +not to eat privet berries, as they were poisonous, and under the above +provocation it occurred to me that if I strewed some on the ground my +sister might find and eat them, which would insure her going straight to +heaven, and no doubt seriously annoy my father and mother. How much of +all this was a lingering desire for the distinction of a public +execution of guillotine (the awful glory of which still survived in my +memory), how much dregs of "Gypsy Curses" and "Mountain Hags," and how +much the passionate love of exciting a sensation and producing an +effect, common to children, servants, and most uneducated people, I know +not. I never did poison my sister, and satisfied my desire of vengeance +by myself informing my aunt of my contemplated crime, the fulfillment of +which was not, I suppose, much apprehended by my family, as no measures +were taken to remove myself, my sister, or the privet bush from each +other's neighborhood. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +A quite unpremeditated inspiration which occurred to me upon being again +offended--to run away--probably alarmed my parents more than my +sororicidal projects, and I think determined them upon carrying out a +plan which had been talked of for some time, of my being sent again to +school; which plan ran a narrow risk of being defeated by my own +attempted escape from home. One day, when my father and mother were both +in London, I had started for a walk with my aunt and sister; when only a +few yards from home, I made an impertinent reply to some reproof I +received, and my aunt bade me turn back and go home, declining my +company for the rest of the walk. She proceeded at a brisk pace on her +way with my sister, nothing doubting that, when left alone, I would +retrace my steps to our house; but I stood still and watched her out of +sight, and then revolved in my own mind the proper course to pursue. + +At first it appeared to me that it would be judicious, under such +smarting injuries as mine, to throw myself into a certain pond which was +in the meadow where I stood (my remedies had always rather an extreme +tendency); but it was thickly coated with green slime studded with +frogs' heads, and looked uninviting. After contemplating it for a +moment, I changed my opinion as to the expediency of getting under that +surface, and walked resolutely off towards London; not with any idea of +seeking my father and mother, but simply with that goal in view, as the +end of my walk. + +Half-way thither, however, I became tired, and hot, and hungry, and +perhaps a little daunted by my own undertaking. I have said that between +Craven Hill and Tyburn turnpike there then was only a stretch of open +fields, with a few cottages scattered over them. In one of these lived a +poor woman who was sometimes employed to do needlework for us, and who, +I was sure, would give me a bit of bread and butter, and let me rest; so +I applied to her for this assistance. Great was the worthy woman's +amazement when I told her that I was alone, on my way to London; greater +still, probably, when I informed her that my intention was to apply for +an engagement at one of the theatres, assuring her that nobody with +talent need ever want for bread. She very wisely refrained from +discussing my projects, but, seeing that I was tired, persuaded me to +lie down in her little bedroom and rest before pursuing my way to town. +The weather was oppressively hot, and having lain down on her bed, I +fell fast asleep. I know not for how long, but I was awakened by the +sudden raising of the latch of the house door, and the voice of my aunt +Dall inquiring of my friendly hostess if she had seen or heard anything +of me. + +I sat up breathless on the bed, listening, and looking round the room +perceived another door than the one by which I had entered it, which +would probably have given me egress to the open fields again, and +secured my escape; but before I could slip down from the bed and resume +my shoes, and take advantage of this exit, my aunt and poor Mrs. Taylor +entered the room, and I was ignominiously captured and taken home; I +expiated my offence by a week of bread and water, and daily solitary +confinement in a sort of tool-house in the garden, where my only +occupation was meditation, the "clear-obscure" that reigned in my prison +admitting of no other. + +This was not cheerful, but I endeavored to make it appear as little the +reverse as possible, by invariably singing at the top of my voice +whenever I heard footsteps on the gravel walk near my place of +confinement. + +Finally I was released, and was guilty of no further outrage before my +departure for Paris, whither I went with my mother and Mrs. Charles +Matthews at the end of the summer. + +We travelled in the _malle poste_, and I remember but one incident +connected with our journey. Some great nobleman in Paris was about to +give a grand banquet, and the _conducteur_ of our vehicle had been +prevailed upon to bring up the fish for the occasion in large hampers on +our carriage, which was then the most rapid public conveyance on the +road between the coast and the capital. The heat was intense, and the +smell of our "luggage" intolerable. My mother complained and +remonstrated in vain; the name of the important personage who was to +entertain his guests with this delectable fish was considered an +all-sufficient reply. At length the contents of the baskets began +literally to ooze out of them and stream down the sides of the carriage; +my mother threatening an appeal to the authorities at the _bureau de +poste_, and finally we got rid of our pestiferous load. + +I was now placed in a school in the Rue d'Angoulême, Champs Élysées; a +handsome house, formerly somebody's private hotel, with _porte cochère_, +_cour d'honneur_, a small garden beyond, and large, lofty ground-floor +apartments opening with glass doors upon them. The name of the lady at +the head of this establishment was Rowden; she had kept a school for +several years in Hans Place, London, and among her former pupils had had +the charge of Miss Mary Russell Mitford, and that clever but most +eccentric personage, Lady Caroline Lamb. The former I knew slightly, +years after, when she came to London and was often in friendly +communication with my father, then manager of Covent Garden, upon the +subject of the introduction on the stage of her tragedy of the +"Foscari." + +The play of "Rienzi," in which Miss Mitford achieved the manly triumph +of a really successful historical tragedy, is, of course, her principal +and most important claim to fame, though the pretty collection of rural +sketches, redolent of country freshness and fragrance, called "Our +Village," precursor, in some sort, of Mrs. Gaskell's incomparable +"Cranford," is, I think, the most popular of Miss Mitford's works. + +She herself has always a peculiar honor in my mind, from the exemplary +devotion of her whole life to her father, for whom her dutiful and +tender affection always seemed to me to fulfil the almost religious idea +conveyed by the old-fashioned, half-heathen phrase of "filial piety." + +Lady Caroline Lamb I never saw, but from friends of mine who were well +acquainted with her I have heard manifold instances of her extraordinary +character and conduct. I remember my friend Mr. Harness telling me that, +dancing with him one night at a great ball, she had suddenly amazed him +by the challenge: "Gueth how many pairth of thtockingth I have on." (Her +ladyship lisped, and her particular graciousness to Mr. Harness was the +result of Lord Byron's school intimacy with and regard for him.) Finding +her partner quite unequal to the piece of divination proposed to him, +she put forth a very pretty little foot, from which she lifted the +petticoat ankle high, lisping out, "Thixth." + +I remember my mother telling me of my father and herself meeting Mr. and +Lady Caroline Lamb at a dinner at Lord Holland's, in Paris, when +accidentally the expected arrival of Lord Byron was mentioned. Mr. Lamb +had just named the next day as the one fixed for their departure; but +Lady Caroline immediately announced her intention of prolonging her +stay, which created what would be called in the French chambers +"sensation." + +When the party broke up, my father and mother, who occupied apartments +in the same hotel as the Lambs,--Meurice's,--were driven into the +court-yard just as Lady Caroline's carriage had drawn up before the +staircase leading to her rooms, which were immediately opposite those of +my father and mother. A _ruisseau_ or gutter ran round the court-yard, +and intervened between the carriage step and the door of the vestibule, +and Mr. Lamb, taking Lady Caroline, as she alighted, in his arms (she +had a very pretty, slight, graceful figure), gallantly lifted her over +the wet stones; which act of conjugal courtesy elicited admiring +approval from my mother, and from my father a growl to the effect, "If +you were _my_ wife I'd put your ladyship _in_ the gutter," justified +perhaps by their observation of what followed. My mother's sitting-room +faced that of Lady Caroline, and before lights were brought into it she +and my father had the full benefit of a curious scene in the room of +their opposite neighbors, who seemed quite unmindful that their +apartment being lighted and the curtains not drawn, they were, as +regarded the opposite wing of the building, a spectacle for gods and +men. + +Mr. Lamb on entering the room sat down on the sofa, and his wife perched +herself on the elbow of it with her arm round his neck, which engaging +attitude she presently exchanged for a still more persuasive one, by +kneeling at his feet; but upon his getting up, the lively lady did so +also, and in a moment began flying round the room, seizing and flinging +on the floor cups, saucers, plates,--the whole _cabaret_,--vases, +candlesticks, her poor husband pursuing and attempting to restrain his +mad moiety, in the midst of which extraordinary scene the curtains were +abruptly closed, and the domestic drama finished behind them, leaving no +doubt, however, in my father's and mother's minds that the question of +Lady Caroline's prolonged stay till Lord Byron's arrival in Paris had +caused the disturbance they had witnessed. + +I never read "Glenarvon," in which, I believe, Lady Caroline is supposed +to have intended to represent her idol, Lord Byron, and the only +composition of hers with which I am acquainted is the pretty song of +"Waters of Elle," of which I think she also wrote the air. She was +undoubtedly very clever, in spite of her silliness, and possessed that +sort of attraction, often as powerful as unaccountable, which belongs +sometimes to women so little distinguished by great personal beauty, +that they have suggested the French observation that "ce sont les femmes +laides qui font les grandes passions." The European women fascinating +_par excellence_ are the Poles; and a celebrated enchantress of that +charming and fantastic race of sirens, the Countess Delphine Potocka, +always reminded me of Lady Caroline Lamb, in the descriptions given of +her by her adorers. + +With Mr. Lamb I never was acquainted till long after Lady Caroline's +death--after I came out on the stage, when he was Lord Melbourne, and +Prime Minister of England. I was a very young person, and though I often +met him in society, and he took amiable and kindly notice of me, our +intercourse was, of course, a mere occasional condescension on his part. + +He was exceedingly handsome, with a fine person, verging towards the +portly, and a sweet countenance, more expressive of refined, easy, +careless good-humor, than almost any face I ever saw. His beauty was of +too well born and well bred a type to be unpleasantly sensual; but his +whole face, person, expression, and manner conveyed the idea of a +pleasure-loving nature, habitually self-indulgent, and indulgent to +others. He was my _beau ideal_ of an Epicurean philosopher (supposing it +possible that an Epicurean philosopher could have consented to be Prime +Minister of England), and I confess to having read with unbounded +astonishment the statement in the "Greville Memoirs," that this apparent +prince of _poco curanti_ had taken the pains to make himself a profound +Hebrew scholar. + +I retain one very vivid impression of that most charming of debonair +noblemen, Lord Melbourne. I had the honor of dining at his house once, +with the beautiful, highly gifted, and unfortunate woman with whom his +relations afterwards became subject of such cruel public scandal; and +after dinner I sat for some time opposite a large, crimson-covered +ottoman, on which Lord Melbourne reclined, surrounded by those three +enchanting Sheridan sisters, Mrs. Norton, Mrs. Blackwood (afterwards +Lady Dufferin), and Lady St. Maur (afterwards Duchess of Somerset, and +always Queen of Beauty). A more remarkable collection of comely +creatures, I think, could hardly be seen, and taking into consideration +the high rank, eminent position, and intellectual distinction of the +four persons who formed that beautiful group, it certainly was a picture +to remain impressed upon one's memory. + +To return to my school-mistress, Mrs. Rowden; she was herself an +authoress, and had published a poem dedicated to Lady Bessborough (Lady +Caroline Lamb's mother), the title of which was "The pleasures of +friendship" (hope, memory, and imagination were all bespoken), of which +I remember only the two opening lines-- + + "Visions of early youth, ere yet ye fade, + Let my light pen arrest your fleeting shade." + +Mrs. Rowden, during the period of her school-keeping in London, was an +ardent admirer of the stage in general and of my uncle John in +particular, of whom the mezzotint engraving as Coriolanus, from +Lawrence's picture, adorned her drawing-room in the Rue d'Angoulême, +where, however, the nature and objects of her enthusiasm had undergone a +considerable change: for when I was placed under her charge, theatres +and things theatrical had given place in her esteem to churches and +things clerical; her excitements and entertainments were Bible-meetings, +prayer-meetings, and private preachings and teachings of religion. She +was what was then termed Methodistical, what would now be designated as +very Low Church. We were taken every Sunday either to the chapel of the +embassy or to the Église de l'Oratoire (French Protestant worship), to +two and sometimes to three services; and certainly Sunday was no day of +rest to us, as we were required to write down from memory the sermons we +had heard in the course of the day, and read them aloud at our evening +devotional gathering. Some of us had a robust power of attention and +retention, and managed these reproductions with tolerable fidelity. +Others contrived to bring forth such a version of what they had heard as +closely resembled the last edition of the subject-matter of a prolonged +game of Russian scandal. Sometimes, upon an appeal to mercy and a solemn +protest that we had paid the utmost attention and _couldn't_ remember a +single sentence of the Christian exhortation we had heard, we were +allowed to choose a text and compose an original sermon of our own; and +I think a good-sized volume might have been made of homilies of my +composition, indited under these circumstances for myself and my +companions. I have always had rather an inclination for preaching, of +which these exercises were perhaps the origin, and it is but a few years +ago that I received at Saint Leonard's a visit from a tottering, feeble +old lady of near seventy, whose name, unheard since, carried me back to +my Paris school-days, and who, among other memories evoked to recall +herself to my recollection, said, "Oh, don't you remember how +good-natured you were in writing such nice sermons for me when I never +could write down what I had heard at church?" Her particular share in +these intellectual benefits conferred by me I did not remember, but I +remembered well and gratefully the sweet, silver-toned voice of her +sister, refreshing the arid atmosphere of our dreary Sunday evenings +with Handel's holy music. "I know that my Redeemer liveth," and "He +shall feed his Flock," which I heard for the first time from that gentle +schoolmate of mine, recall her meek, tranquil face and, liquid thread of +delicate soprano voice, even through the glorious associations of Jenny +Lind's inspired utterance of those divine songs. These ladies were +daughters of a high dignitary of the English Church, which made my +sermon-writing for their succor rather comical. Besides these Sunday +exercises, we were frequently taken to week-day services at the Oratoire +to hear some special preacher of celebrity, on which occasions of devout +dissipation Mrs. Rowden always appeared in the highest state of elation, +and generally received distinguished notice from the clerical hero of +the evening. + +I remember accompanying her to hear Mr. Lewis Wade, a celebrated +missionary preacher, who had been to Syria and the Holy Land, and +brought thence observations on subjects sacred and profane that made his +discourses peculiarly interesting and edifying. + +I was also taken to hear a much more impressive preacher, Mr. César +Malan, of Geneva, who addressed a small and select audience of very +distinguished persons, in a magnificent _salon_ in some great private +house, where every body sat on satin and gilded _fauteuils_ to receive +his admonitions, all which produced a great effect on my mind--not, +however, I think, altogether religious; but the sermon I heard, and the +striking aspect of the eloquent person who delivered it, left a strong +and long impression on my memory. It was the first fine preaching I ever +heard, and though I was undoubtedly too young to appreciate it duly, I +was, nevertheless, deeply affected by it, and it gave me my earliest +experience of that dangerous thing, emotional religion, or, to speak +more properly, religious excitement. + +The Unitarians of the United States have in my time possessed a number +of preachers of most remarkable excellence; Dr. Channing, Dr. Dewey, Dr. +Bellows, my own venerable and dear pastor, Dr. Furness, Dr. Follen, +William and Henry Ware, being all men of extraordinary powers of +eloquence. At home I have heard Frederick Maurice and Dean Stanley, but +the most impressive preaching I ever heard in England was still from a +Unitarian pulpit; James Martineau, I think, surpassed all the very +remarkable men I have named in the wonderful beauty and power, +spirituality and solemnity, of his sacred teaching. Frederick Robertson, +to my infinite loss and sorrow, I never heard, having been deterred from +going to hear him by his reputation of a "fashionable preacher;" he, +better than any one, would have understood my repugnance to that species +of religious instructor. + +Better, in my judgment, than these occasional appeals to our feelings +and imaginations under Mrs. Rowden's influence, was the constant _use_ +of the Bible among us. I cannot call the reading and committing to +memory of the Scriptures, as we performed those duties, by the serious +name of study. But the Bible was learnt by heart in certain portions and +recited before breakfast every morning, and read aloud before bedtime +every evening by us; and though the practice may be open to some +objections, I think they hardly outweigh the benefit bestowed upon young +minds by early familiar acquaintance with the highest themes, the +holiest thoughts, and the noblest words the world possesses or ever will +possess. To me my intimate knowledge of the Bible has always seemed the +greatest benefit I derived from my school training. + +Of the secular portion of the education we received, the French lady who +was Mrs. Rowden's partner directed the principal part. Our lessons of +geography, grammar, history, arithmetic, and mythology (of which latter +subject I suspect we had a much more thorough knowledge than is at all +usual with young English girls) were conducted by her. + +These studies were all pursued in French, already familiar to me as the +vehicle of my elementary acquirements at Boulogne; and this soon became +the language in which I habitually wrote, spoke, and thought, to the +almost entire neglect of my native tongue, of which I never thoroughly +studied the grammar till I was between fifteen and sixteen, when, on my +presenting, in a glow of vanity, some verses of mine to my father, he +said, with his blandest smile, after reading them, "Very well, very +pretty indeed! My dear, don't you think, before you write poetry, you +had better learn grammar?" a suggestion which sent me crestfallen to a +diligent study of Lindley Murray. But grammar is perfectly uncongenial +matter to me, which my mind absolutely refuses to assimilate. I have +learned Latin, English, French, Italian, and German grammar, and do not +know a single rule of the construction of any language whatever. More +over, to the present day, my early familiar use of French produces +uncertainty in my mind as to the spelling of all words that take a +double consonant in French and only one in English, as apartment, enemy, +etc. + +The men of my family--that is, my uncle John, my father, and my eldest +brother--were all philologists, and extremely fond of the study of +language. Grammar was favorite light reading, and the philosophy which +lies at the root of human speech a frequent subject of discussion and +research with them; but they none of them spoke foreign languages with +ease or fluency. My uncle was a good Latin scholar, and read French, +Italian, and Spanish, but spoke none of them; not even the first, in +spite of his long residence in French Switzerland. The same was the case +with my father, whose delight in the dry bones of language was such that +at near seventy he took the greatest pleasure in assiduously studying +the Greek grammar. My brother John, who was a learned linguist, and +familiar with the modern European languages, spoke none of them well, +not even German, though he resided for many years at Hanover, where he +was curator of the royal museum and had married a German wife, and had +among his most intimate friends and correspondents both the Grimms, +Gervinus, and many of the principal literary men of Germany. My sister +and myself, on the contrary, had remarkable facility in speaking foreign +languages with the accent and tune (if I may use the expression) +peculiar to each; a faculty which seems to me less the result of early +training and habit, than of some particular construction of ear and +throat favorable for receiving and repeating mere sounds; a musical +organization and mimetic faculty; a sort of mocking-bird specialty, +which I have known possessed in great perfection by persons with whom it +was in no way connected with the study, but only with the use of the +languages they spoke with such idiomatic ease and grace. Moreover, in my +own case, both in Italian and German, though I understand for the most +part what I read and what is said in these languages, I have had but +little exercise in speaking them, and have been amused to find myself, +while travelling, taken for an Italian as well as for a German, simply +by dint of the facility with which I imitated the accent of the people I +was among, while intrepidly confounding my moods, tenses, genders, and +cases in the determination to speak and make myself understood in the +language of whatever country I was passing through. + +Mademoiselle Descuillès, Mrs. Rowden's partner, was a handsome woman of +about thirty, with a full, graceful figure, a pleasant countenance, a +great deal of playful vivacity of manner, and very determined and strict +notions of discipline. Active, energetic, intelligent, and +good-tempered, she was of a capital composition for a governess, the +sort of person to manage successfully all her pupils, and become an +object of enthusiastic devotion to the elder ones whom she admitted to +her companionship. + +She almost always accompanied us when we walked, invariably presided in +the schoolroom, and very generally her eager figure and pleasant, bright +eyes were to be discovered in some corner of the playground, where, from +a semi-retirement, seated in her fauteuil with book or needlework in +hand, she exercised a quiet but effectual surveillance over her young +subjects. + +She was the active and efficient partner in the concern, Mrs. Rowden the +dignified and representative one. The whole of our course of study and +mode of life, with the exception of our religious training, of which I +have spoken before, was followed under her direction, and according to +the routine of most French schools. + +The monastic rule of loud-reading during meals was observed, and l'Abbé +Millot's "Universal History," of blessed boring memory, was the dry +daily sauce to our diet. On Saturday we always had a half-holiday in the +afternoon, and the morning occupations were feminine rather than +academic. + +Every girl brought into the schoolroom whatever useful needlework, +mending or making, her clothes required; and while one read aloud, the +others repaired or replenished their wardrobes. + +Great was our satisfaction if we could prevail upon Mademoiselle +Descuillès herself to take the book in hand and become the "lectrice" of +the morning; greater still when we could persuade her, while intent upon +her own stitching, to sing to us, which she sometimes did, old-fashioned +French songs and ballads, of which I learnt from her and still remember +some that I have never since heard, that must have long ago died out of +the musical world and left no echo but in my memory. Of two of these I +think the words pretty enough to be worth preserving, the one for its +naïve simplicity, and the other for the covert irony of its reflection +upon female constancy, to which Mademoiselle Descuillès' delivery, with +her final melancholy shrug of the shoulders, gave great effect. + + LE TROUBADOUR + + Un gentil Troubadour + Qui chante et fait la guerre, + Revenait chez son père, + Rêvant à son amour. + + Gages de sa valeur, + Suspendus à son écharpe, + Son épée, et sa harpe, + Se croisaient sur son coeur. + + Il rencontre en chemin + Pelerine jolie, + Qui voyage, et qui prie, + Un rosaire à la main. + + Colerette, à long plis, + Cachait sa fine taille, + Un grand chapeau de paille, + Ombrait son teint de lys. + + "O gentil Troubadour, + Si tu reviens fidèle, + Chante un couplet pour celle + Qui bénit ton retour." + + "Pardonne à mon refus + Pelerine jolie! + Sans avoir vu ma mie, + Je ne chanterai plus." + + "Et ne la vois-tu pas? + O Troubadour fidèle! + Regarde moi--c'est elle! + Ouvre lui donc tes bras! + + "Craignant pour notre amour, + J'allais en pelerine, + A la Vierge divine + Prier pour ton retour!" + + Près des tendres amans + S'élève une chapelle, + L'Ermite qu'on appelle, + Bénit leurs doux sermens + + Venez en ce saint lieu, + Amans du voisinage, + Faire un pelerinage + A la Mère de Dieu! + +The other ballad, though equally an illustration of the days of +chivalry, was written in a spirit of caustic contempt for the fair sex, +which suggests the bitterness of the bard's personal experience:-- + + LE CHEVALIER ERRANT. + + Dans un vieux château de l'Andalousie, + Au temps où l'amour se montrait constant, + Où Beauté, Valeur, et Galanterie + Guidait aux combats un fidèle amant, + Un beau chevalier un soir se présente, + Visière baissée, et la lance en main; + Il vient demander si sa douce amante + N'est pas (par hasard) chez le châtelain. + + "Noble chevalier! quelle est votre amie?" + Demande à son tour le vieux châtelain. + "Ah! de fleurs d'amour c'est la plus jolie + Elle a teint de rose, et peau de satin, + Elle a de beaux yeux, dont le doux langage + Porte en votre coeur vif enchantment, + Elle a tout enfin--elle est belle,--et sage!" + "Pauvre chevalier! chercherez longtemps! + + "Guidez de mes pas l'ardeur incertain, + Où dois-je chercher ce que j'ai perdu?" + "Mon fils, votre soit, hélas! s'en fait peine, + Ce que vous cherchez ne se trouve plus." + "Poursuivez, pourtant, votre long voyage, + Et si vouz trouvez un pareil trésor-- + Ne le perdez plus! Adieu, bon voyage!" + L'amant repartit--mais, il cherche encore. + +The air of the first of these songs was a very simple and charming +little melody, which my sister, having learnt it from me, adapted to +some English words. The other was an extremely favorite _vaudeville_ +air, repeated constantly in the half-singing dialogue of some of those +popular pieces. + +Our Saturday sewing class was a capital institution, which made most of +us expert needle-women, developed in some the peculiarly lady-like +accomplishment of working exquisitely, and gave to all the useful +knowledge of how to make and mend our own clothes. When I left school I +could make my own dresses, and was a proficient in marking and darning. + +My school-fellows were almost all English, and, I suppose, with one +exception, were young girls of average character and capacity. Elizabeth +P----, a young person from the west of England, was the only remarkable +one among them. She was strikingly handsome, both in face and figure, +and endowed with very uncommon abilities. She was several years older +than myself, and an object of my unbounded school-girl heroine worship. +A daughter of Kiallmark, the musical composer, was also eminent among us +for her great beauty, and always seemed to my girlish fancy what Mary +Queen of Scots must have looked like in her youth. + +Besides pupils, Mrs. Rowden received a small number of parlor boarders, +who joined only in some of the lessons; indeed, some of them appeared to +fulfil no purpose of education whatever by their residence with her. +There were a Madame and Mademoiselle de ----, the latter of whom was +supposed, I believe, to imbibe English in our atmosphere. She bore a +well-known noble French name, and was once visited, to the immense +excitement of all "ces demoiselles," by a brother, in the uniform of the +Royal Gardes du Corps, whose looks were reported (I think rather +mythologically) to be as superb as his attire. In which case he must +have been strikingly unlike his sister, who was one of the ugliest women +I ever saw; with a disproportionately large and ill-shaped nose and +mouth, and a terrible eruption all over her face. She had, however, an +extremely beautiful figure, exquisite hands and feet, skin as white as +snow, and magnificent hair and eyes; in spite of which numerous +advantages, she was almost repulsively plain: it really seemed as if she +had been the victim of a spell, to have so beautiful a body, and so all +but hideous a face. Besides these French ladies, there was a Miss +McC----, a very delicate, elegant-looking Irishwoman, and a Miss ----, +who, in spite of her noble name, was a coarse and inelegant, but very +handsome Englishwoman. In general, these ladies had nothing to do with +us; they had privileged places at table, formed Mrs. Rowden's evening +circle in the drawing-room, and led (except at meals) a life of +dignified separation from the scholars. + +I remember but two French girls in our whole company: the one was a +Mademoiselle Adèle de ----, whose father, a fanatical Anglomane, wrote a +ridiculous book about England. + +The other French pupil I ought not to have called a companion, or said +that I remembered, for in truth I remember nothing but her funeral. She +died soon after I joined the school, and was buried in the cemetery of +Père la Chaise, near the tomb of Abelard and Eloïse, with rather a +theatrical sort of ceremony. She was followed to her grave by the whole +school, dressed in white, and wearing long white veils fastened round +our heads with white fillets. On each side of the bier walked three +young girls, pall-bearers, in the same maiden mourning, holding in one +hand long streamers of broad white ribbon attached to the bier, and in +the other several white narcissus blossoms. + +The ghostly train and the picturesque mediæval monument, close to which +we paused and clustered to deposit the dead girl in her early +resting-place, formed a striking picture that haunted me for a long +time, and which the smell and sight of the chalk-white narcissus blossom +invariably recalls to me. + +Meantime, the poetical studies, or rather indulgencies of home, had +ceased. No sonorous sounds of Milton's mighty music ever delighted my +ears, and for my almost daily bread of Scott's romantic epics I hungered +and thirsted in vain, with such intense desire, that I at length +undertook to write out "The Lay of the Last Minstrel" and "Marmion" from +memory, so as not absolutely to lose my possession of them. This task I +achieved to a very considerable extent, and found the stirring, +chivalrous stories, and spirited, picturesque verse, a treasure of +refreshment, when all my poetical diet consisted of "L'Anthologie +française à l'Usage des Demoiselles," and Voltaire's "Henriade," which I +was compelled to learn by heart, and with the opening lines of which I +more than once startled the whole dormitory at midnight, sitting +suddenly up in my bed, and from the midst of perpetual slumbers loudly +proclaiming-- + + "Je chante ce héros qui regna sur la France, + Et par droit de conquête, et par droit de naissance." + +More exciting reading was Madame Cottin's "Mathilde," of which I now got +hold for the first time, and devoured with delight, finishing it one +evening just before we were called to prayers, so that I wept bitterly +during my devotions, partly for the Norman princess and her Saracen +lover, and partly from remorse at my own sinfulness in not being able to +banish them from my thoughts while on my knees and saying my prayers. + +But, to be sure, that baptism in the desert, with the only drop of water +they had to drink, seemed to me the very acme of religious fervor and +sacred self-sacrifice. I wonder what I should think of the book were I +to read it now, which Heaven forefend! The really powerful impression +made upon my imagination and feelings at this period, however, was by my +first reading of Lord Byron's poetry. The day on which I received that +revelation of the power of thought and language remained memorable to me +for many a day after. + +I had occasionally received invitations from Mrs. Rowden to take tea in +the drawing-room with the lady parlor boarders, when my week's report +for "bonne conduite" had been tolerably satisfactory. One evening when I +had received this honorable distinction, and was sitting in sleepy +solemnity on the sofa, opposite my uncle John's black figure in +"Coriolanus," which seemed to grow alternately smaller and larger as my +eyelids slowly drew themselves together and suddenly opened wide, with a +startled consciousness of unworthy drowsiness, Miss H----, who was +sitting beside me, reading, leaned back and put her book before my face, +pointing with her finger to the lines-- + + "It is the hour when from the boughs + The nightingale's high note is heard." + +It would be impossible to describe the emotion I experienced. I was +instantly wide awake, and, quivering with excitement, fastened a grip +like steel upon the book, imploring to be allowed to read on. The fear, +probably, of some altercation loud enough to excite attention to the +subject of her studies (which I rather think would not have been +approved of, even for a "parlor boarder") prevented Miss H---- from +making the resistance she should have made to my entreaties, and I was +allowed to leave the room, carrying with me the dangerous prize, which, +however, I did not profit by. + +It was bedtime, and the dormitory light burned but while we performed +our night toilet, under supervision. The under teacher and the lamp +departed together, and I confided to the companion whose bed was next to +mine that I had a volume of Lord Byron under my pillow. The emphatic +whispered warnings of terror and dismay with which she received this +information, her horror at the wickedness of the book (of which of +course she knew nothing), her dread of the result of detection for me, +and her entreaties, enforced with tears, that I would not keep the +terrible volume where it was, at length, combined with my own nervous +excitement about it, affected me with such a sympathy of fear that I +jumped out of bed and thrust the fatal poems into the bowels of a straw +_paillasse_ on an empty bed, and returned to my own to remain awake +nearly all night. My study of Byron went no further then: the next +morning I found it impossible to rescue the book unobserved from its +hiding-place, and Miss H----, to whom I confided the secret of it, I +suppose took her own time for withdrawing it, and so I then read no more +of that wonderful poetry, which, in my after days of familiar +acquaintance with it, always affected me like an evil potion taken into +my blood. The small, sweet draught which I sipped in that sleepy +school-salon atmosphere remained indelibly impressed upon my memory, +insomuch that when, during the last year of my stay in Paris, the news +of my uncle John's death at Lausanne, and that of Lord Byron at +Missolonghi, was communicated to me, my passionate regret was for the +great poet, of whose writings I knew but twenty lines, and not for my +own celebrated relation, of whom, indeed, I knew but little. + +It was undoubtedly well that this dangerous source of excitement should +be sealed to me as long as possible; but I do not think that the works +of imagination to which I was allowed free access were of a specially +wholesome or even harmless tendency. The false morality and +attitudinizing sentiment of such books as "Les Contes à ma Fille," and +Madame de Genlis' "Veillées du Château," and "Adèle et Théodore," were +rubbish, if not poison. The novels of Florian were genuine and simple +romances, less mischievous, I incline to think, upon the whole, than the +educational Countess's mock moral sentimentality; but Chateaubriand's +"Atala et Chactas," with its picturesque pathos, and his powerful +classical novel of "Les Martyrs," were certainly unfit reading for young +girls of excitable feelings and wild imaginations, in spite of the +religious element which I supposed was considered their recommendation. + +One great intellectual good fortune befell me at this time, and that was +reading "Guy Mannering;" the first of Walter Scott's novels that I ever +read--the _dearest_, therefore. I use the word advisedly, for I know no +other than one of affection to apply to those enchanting and admirable +works, that deserve nothing less than love in return for the healthful +delight they have bestowed. To all who ever read them, the first must +surely be the best; the beginning of what a series of pure enjoyments, +what a prolonged, various, exquisite succession of intellectual +surprises and pleasures, amounting for the time almost to happiness. + +Scott, like Shakespeare, has given us, for intimate acquaintance, +companions, and friends, men and women of such peculiar individual +nobleness, grace, wit, wisdom, and humor, that they people our minds and +recur to our thoughts with a vividness which makes them seem rather to +belong to the past realities of the memory, than to the shadowy visions +of the imagination. + +It was not long before all this imaginative stimulus bore its legitimate +fruit in a premature harvest of crude compositions which I dignified +with the name of poetry. Rhymes I wrote without stint or stopping--a +perfect deluge of doggerel; what became of it all I know not, but I have +an idea that a manuscript volume was sent to my poor parents, as a +sample of the poetical promise supposed to be contained in these unripe +productions. + +Besides the studies pursued by the whole school under the tuition of +Mademoiselle Descuillès, we had special masters from whom we took +lessons in special branches of knowledge. Of these, by far the most +interesting to me, both in himself and in the subject of his teachings, +was my Italian master, Biagioli. + +He was a political exile, of about the same date as his remarkable +contemporary, Ugo Foscolo; his high forehead, from which his hair fell +back in a long grizzled curtain, his wild, melancholy eyes, and the +severe and sad expression of his face, impressed me with some awe and +much pity. He was at that time one of the latest of the long tribe of +commentators on Dante's "Divina Commedia." I do not believe his +commentary ranks high among the innumerable similar works on the great +Italian poem; but in violence of abuse, and scornful contempt of all but +his own glosses, he yields to none of his fellow-laborers in that vast +and tangled poetical, historical, biographical, philosophical, +theological, and metaphysical jungle. + +Dante was his spiritual consolation, his intellectual delight, and +indeed his daily bread; for out of that tremendous horn-book he taught +me to stammer the divine Italian language, and illustrated every lesson, +from the simplest rule of its syntax to its exceedingly complex and +artificially constructed prosody, out of the pages of that sublime, +grotesque, and altogether wonderful poem. My mother has told me that she +attributed her incapacity for relishing Milton to the fact of "Paradise +Lost" having been used as a lesson-book out of which she was made to +learn English--a circumstance which had made it for ever "Paradise +_Lost_" to her. I do not know why or how I escaped a similar misfortune +in my school-girl study of Dante, but luckily I did so, probably being +carried over the steep and stony way with comparative ease by the help +of my teacher's vivid enthusiasm. I have forgotten my Italian grammar, +rules of syntax and rules of prosody alike, but I read and re-read the +"Divina Commedia" with ever-increasing amazement and admiration. Setting +aside all its weightier claims to the high place it holds among the +finest achievements of human genius, I know of no poem in any language +in which so many single lines and detached passages can be found of +equally descriptive force, picturesque beauty, and delightful melody of +sound; the latter virtue may lie, perhaps, as much in the instrument +itself as in the master hand that touched it--the Italian tongue, the +resonance and vibrating power of which is quite as peculiar as its +liquid softness. + +While the stern face and forlorn figure of poor Biagioli seemed an +appropriate accompaniment to my Dantesque studies, nothing could exceed +the contrast he presented to another Italian who visited us on alternate +days and gave us singing lessons. Blangini, whose extreme popularity as +a composer and teacher led him to the dignity of _maestro di capella_ to +some royal personage, survives only in the recollection of certain +elderly drawing-room nightingales who warbled fifty summers ago, and who +will still hum bits of his pretty Canzoni and Notturni, "Care pupille," +"Per valli per boschi," etc. + +Blangini was a _petit maître_ as well as a singing master; always +attired in the height of the fashion, and in manner and appearance much +more of a Frenchman than an Italian. He was mercilessly satirical on the +failures of his pupils, to whom (having reduced them, by the most +ridiculous imitation of their unfortunate vocal attempts, to an almost +inaudible utterance of _pianissimo_ pipings) he would exclaim, "Ma per +carità! aprite la bocca! che cantate come uccelli che dormano!" + +My music master, as distinguished from my singing master, was a worthy +old Englishman of the name of Shaw, who played on the violin, and had +been at one time leader of the orchestra at Covent Garden Theatre. +Indeed, it was to him that John Kemble addressed the joke (famous, +because in his mouth unique) upon the subject of a song in the piece of +"Richard Coeur de Lion"--I presume an English version of Gietry's +popular romance, "O Richard, O mon Roi!" This Mr. Shaw was painfully +endeavoring to teach my uncle, who was entirely without musical ear, and +whose all but insuperable difficulty consisted in repeating a few bars +of the melody supposed to be sung under his prison window by his +faithful minstrel, Blondel. "Mr. Kemble, Mr. Kemble, you are murdering +the time, sir!" cried the exasperated musician; to which my uncle +replied, "Very well, sir, and you are forever beating it!" I do not know +whether Mrs. Rowden knew this anecdote, and engaged Mr. Shaw because he +had elicited this solitary sally from her quondam idol, John Kemble. The +choice, whatever its motive, was not a happy one. The old leader of the +theatrical orchestra was himself no piano-forte player, could no longer +see very well nor hear very well, and his principal attention was +directed to his own share of the double performance, which he led much +after the careless, slap-bang style in which overtures that nobody +listened to were performed in his day. It is a very great mistake to let +learners play with violin accompaniment until they have thoroughly +mastered the piano-forte without it. Fingering, the first of fundamental +acquirements, is almost sure to be overlooked by the master, whose +attention is not on the hands of his pupil but on his own bow; and the +pupil, anxious to keep up with the violin, slurs over rapid passages, +scrambles through difficult ones, and acquires a general habit of merely +following the violin in time and tune, to the utter disregard of steady, +accurate execution. As for me, I derived but one benefit from my old +violin accompanier, that of becoming a good timist; in every other +respect I received nothing but injury from our joint performances, +getting into incorrigible habits of bad fingering, and of making up my +bass with unscrupulous simplifications of the harmony, quite content if +I came in with my final chords well thumped in time and tune with the +emphatic scrape of the violin that ended our lesson. The music my master +gave me, too, was more in accordance with his previous practice as +leader of a theatrical orchestra, than calculated to make me a steady +and scrupulous executant. + +We had another master for French and Latin--a clever, ugly, impudent, +snuffy, dirty little man, who wrote vaudevilles for the minor theaters, +and made love to his pupils. Both these gentlemen were superseded in +their offices by other professors before I left school: poor old Pshaw +Pshaw, as we used to call him, by the French composer, Adam, unluckily +too near the time of my departure for me to profit by his strict and +excellent method of instruction; and our vaudevillist was replaced by a +gentleman of irreproachable manners, and I should think morals, who +always came to our lessons _en toilette_--black frock-coat and +immaculate white waistcoat, unexceptionable boots and gloves--by dint of +all which he ended by marrying our dear Mademoiselle Descuillès (who, +poor thing, was but a woman after all, liable to charming by such +methods), and turning her into Madame Champy, under which name she +continued to preside over the school after I left it; and Mrs. Rowden +relinquished her share in the concern--herself marrying, and becoming +Mrs. St. Quintin. + +I have spoken of my learning Latin: Elizabeth P----, the object in all +things of my emulous admiration, studied it, and I forthwith begged +permission to do so likewise; and while this dead-language ambition +possessed me, I went so far as to acquire the Greek alphabet; which, +however, I used only as a cipher for "my secrets," and abandoned my +Latin lore, just as I had exchanged my Phædrus for Cornelius Nepos, not +even attaining to the "Arma virumque cano." + +Nobody but Miss P---- and myself dabbled in these classical depths, but +nearly the whole school took dancing lessons, which were given us by two +masters, an old and young Mr. Guillet, father and son: the former, a +little dapper, dried-up, wizen-faced, beak-nosed old man, with a brown +wig that fitted his head and face like a Welsh night-cap; who played the +violin and stamped in time, and scolded and made faces at us when we +were clumsy and awkward; the latter, a highly colored, beak-nosed young +gentleman who squinted fearfully with magnificent black eyes, and had +one shining, oily wave of blue-black hair, which, departing from above +one ear, traversed his forehead in a smooth sweep, and ended in a +frizzly breaker above the other. This gentleman showed us our steps, and +gave us the examples of graceful ability of which his father was no +longer capable. I remember a very comical scene at one of our dancing +lessons, occasioned by the first appearance of a certain Miss ----, who +entered the room, to the general amazement, in full evening costume--a +practice common, I believe, in some English schools where "dressing for +dancing" prevails. We only put on light prunella slippers instead of our +heavier morning shoes or boots, and a pair of gloves, as adequate +preparation. Moreover, the French fashion for full dress, of that day, +did not sanction the uncovering of the person usual in English evening +attire. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +Great was the general surprise of the dancing class when this large, +tall, handsome English girl, of about eighteen, entered the room in a +rose-colored silk dress, with very low neck and very short sleeves, +white satin shoes, and white kid gloves; her long auburn ringlets and +ivory shoulders glancing in the ten o'clock morning sunlight with a sort +of incongruous splendor, and her whole demeanor that of the most +innocent and modest tranquillity. + +Mademoiselle Descuillès shut her book to with a snap, and sat bolt +upright and immovable, with eyes and mouth wide open. Young Mr. Guillet +blushed purple, and old Mr. Guillet scraped a few interjections on his +fiddle, and then, putting it down, took a resonant pinch of snuff, by +way of restoring his scattered senses. + +No observation was made, however, and the lesson proceeded, young Mr. +Guillet turning scarlet each time either of his divergent orbs of vision +encountered his serenely unconscious, full-dressed pupil; which +certainly, considering that he was a member of the Grand Opera _corps de +ballet_, was a curious instance of the purely conventional ideas of +decency which custom makes one accept. + +Whatever want of assiduity I may have betrayed in my other studies, +there was no lack of zeal for my dancing lessons. I had a perfect +passion for dancing, which long survived my school-days, and I am +persuaded that my natural vocation was that of an opera dancer. Far into +middle life I never saw beautiful dancing without a rapture of +enthusiasm, and used to repeat from memory whole dances after seeing +Duvernay or Ellsler, as persons with a good musical ear can repeat the +airs of the opera first heard the night before. And I remember, during +Ellsler's visit to America, when I had long left off dancing in society, +being so transported with her execution of a Spanish dance called "El +Jaleo de Xerxes," that I was detected by my cook, who came suddenly upon +me in my store-room, in the midst of sugar, rice, tea, coffee, flour, +etc., standing on the tips of my toes, with my arms above my head, in +one of the attitudes I had most admired in that striking and picturesque +performance. The woman withdrew in speechless amazement, and I alighted +on my heels, feeling wonderfully foolish. How I thought I never should +be able to leave off dancing! And so I thought of riding! and so I +thought of singing! and could not imagine what life would be like when I +could no more do these things. I was not wrong, perhaps, in thinking it +would be difficult to leave them off: I had no conception how easily +they would leave me off. + +Varying our processions in the Champs Élysées were less formal +excursions in the Jardin de Luxembourg; and as the picture-gallery in +the palace was opened gratuitously on certain days of the week, we were +allowed to wander through it, and form our taste for art among the +samples of the modern French school of painting there collected: the +pictures of David, Gérard, Girodet, etc., the Dido and Æneas, the +Romulus and Tatius with the Sabine women interposing between them, +Hippolytus before Theseus and Phædra, Atala being laid in her grave by +her lover--compositions with which innumerable engravings have made +England familiar--the theatrical conception and hard coloring and +execution of which (compensated by masterly grouping and incomparable +drawing) did not prevent their striking our uncritical eyes with +delighted admiration, and making this expedition to the Luxembourg one +of my favorite afternoon recreations. These pictures are now all in the +gallery of the Louvre, illustrating the school of art of the consulate +and early empire of Bonaparte. + +Another favorite promenade of ours, and the one that I preferred even to +the hero-worship of the Luxembourg, was the Parc Monceaux. This estate, +the private property of the Orleans family, confiscated by Louis +Napoleon, and converted into a whole new _quartier_ of his new Paris, +with splendid streets and houses, and an exquisite public flower-garden +in the midst of them, was then a solitary and rather neglected Jardin +Anglais (so called) or park, surrounded by high walls and entered by a +small wicket, the porter of which required a permit of admission before +allowing ingress to the domain. I never remember seeing a single +creature but ourselves in the complete seclusion of this deserted +pleasaunce. It had grass and fine trees and winding walks, and little +brooks fed by springs that glimmered in cradles of moss-grown, +antiquated rock-work; no flowers or semblance of cultivation, but a +general air of solitude and wildness that recommended it especially to +me, and recalled as little as possible the great, gay city which +surrounded it. + +My real holidays, however (for I did not go home during the three years +I spent in Paris), were the rare and short visits my father paid me +while I was at school. At all other seasons Paris might have been +Patagonia for any thing I saw or heard or knew of its brilliant gayety +and splendid variety. But during those holidays of his and mine, my +enjoyment and his were equal, I verily believe, though probably not (as +I then imagined) perfect. Pleasant days of joyous _camaraderie_ and +_flanerie_!--in which every thing, from being new to me, was almost as +good as new to my indulgent companion: the Rue de Rivoli, the Tuileries, +the Boulevard, the Palais Royal, the _déjeuner à la fourchette_ at the +Café Riche, the dinner in the small _cabinet_ at the Trois Frères, or +the Cadran Bleu, and the evening climax of the theater on the Boulevard, +where Philippe, or Léontine Fay, or Poitier and Brunet, made a school of +dramatic art of the small stages of the Porte St. Martin, the Variétés, +and the Vaudeville. + +My father's days in Paris, in which he escaped from the hard labor and +heavy anxiety of his theatrical life of actor, manager, and proprietor, +and I from the dull routine of school-room studies and school-ground +recreations, were pleasant days to him, and golden ones in my girlish +calendar. I remember seeing, with him, a piece called "Les deux +Sergens," a sort of modern Damon and Pythias, in which the heroic +friends are two French soldiers, and in which a celebrated actor of the +name of Philippe performed the principal part. He was the predecessor +and model of Frédéric Lemaître, who (himself infinitely superior to his +pupil and copyist, Mr. Fechter, who, by a very feeble imitation of +Lemaître's most remarkable parts, has achieved so much reputation) was +not to be compared with Philippe in the sort of sentimental melodrama of +which "Les deux Sergens" was a specimen. + +This M. Philippe was a remarkable man, not only immensely popular for +his great professional merit, but so much respected for an order of +merit not apt to be enthusiastically admired by Parisians--that of a +moral character and decent life--that at his funeral a very serious riot +occurred, in consequence of the Archbishop of Paris, according to the +received opinion and custom of the day, refusing to allow him to be +buried in consecrated ground; the profane player's calling, in the year +of grace 1823, or thereabouts, being still one which disqualified its +followers for receiving the sacraments of the Roman Catholic Church, and +therefore, of course, for claiming Christian burial. The general feeling +of the Parisian public, however, was in this case too strong for the +ancient anathema of the Church. The Archbishop of Paris was obliged to +give way, and the dead body of the worthy actor was laid in the sacred +soil of Père la Chaise. I believe that since that time the question has +never again been debated, nor am I aware that there is any one more +peculiarly theatrical cemetery than another in Paris. + +In a letter of Talma's to Charles Young upon my uncle John's death, he +begs to be numbered among the subscribers to the monument about to be +erected to Mr. Kemble in Westminster Abbey; adding the touching remark: +"Pour moi, je serai heureux si les prêtres me laissent enterrer dans un +coin de mon jardin." + +The excellent moral effect of this species of class prejudice is +admirably illustrated by an anecdote I have heard my mother tell. One +evening, when she had gone to the Grand Opera with M. Jouy, the wise and +witty Hermite de la Chaussée d'Antin, talking with him of the career and +circumstances of the young ballet women (she had herself, when very +young, been a dancer on the English stage), she wound up her various +questions with this: "Et y en a-t-il qui sont filles de bonne conduite? +qui sont sages?" "Ma foi!" replied the Hermite, shrugging his shoulders, +"elles auraient grand tort; personne n'y croirait." + +A charming vaudeville called "Michel et Christine," with that charming +actress, Madame Alan Dorval, for its heroine, was another extremely +popular piece at that time, which I went to see with my father. The time +of year at which he was able to come to Paris was unluckily the season +at which all the large theaters were closed. Nevertheless, by some happy +chance, I saw one performance at the Grand Opera of that great dancer +and actress, Bigottini, in the ballet of the "Folle par Amour;" and I +shall never forget the wonderful pathos of her acting and the grace and +dignity of her dancing. Several years after, I saw Madame Pasta in +Paesiello's pretty opera of the "Nina Pazza," on the same subject, and +hardly know to which of the two great artists to assign the palm in +their different expression of the love-crazed girl's despair. + +I also saw several times, at this period of his celebrity, the +inimitable comic actor, Poitier, in a farce called "Les Danaïdes" that +was making a furor--a burlesque upon a magnificent mythological ballet, +produced with extraordinary splendor of decoration, at the Académie +Royale de Musique, and of which this travesty drew all Paris in crowds; +and certainly any thing more ludicrous than Poitier, as the wicked old +King Danaus, with his fifty daughters, it is impossible to imagine. + +The piece was the broadest and most grotesque quiz of the "grand genre +classique et héroïque," and was almost the first of an order of +entertainments which have gone on increasing in favor up to the present +day of universally triumphant parody and burlesque, by no means as +laughable and by no means as unobjectionable. Indeed, farcical to the +broadest point as was that mythological travesty of "The Danaïdes," it +was the essence of decency and propriety compared with "La grande +Duchesse," "La belle Hélène," "Orphée aux Enfers," "La Biche au Bois," +"Le petit Faust," and all the vile succession of indecencies and +immoralities that the female good society of England in these latter +years has delighted in witnessing, without the help of the mask which +enabled their great-grandmothers to sit out the plays of Wycherley, +Congreve, and Farquhar, chaste and decorous in their crude coarseness +compared with the French operatic burlesques of the present day. + +But by far the most amusing piece in which I recollect seeing Poitier, +was one in which he acted with the equally celebrated Brunet, and in +which they both represented English _women_--"Les Anglaises pour Rire." + +The Continent was then just beginning to make acquaintance with the +traveling English, to whom the downfall of Bonaparte had opened the +gates of Europe, and who then began, as they have since continued, in +ever-increasing numbers, to carry amazement and amusement from the +shores of the Channel to those of the Mediterranean, by their wealth, +insolence, ignorance, and cleanliness. + +"Les Anglaises pour Rire" was a caricature (if such a thing were +possible) of the English female traveler of that period. Coal-scuttle +poke bonnets, short and scanty skirts, huge splay feet arrayed in +indescribable shoes and boots, short-waisted tight-fitting spencers, +colors which not only swore at each other, but caused all beholders to +swear at them--these were the outward and visible signs of the British +fair of that day. To these were added, in this representation of them by +these French appreciators of their attractions, a mode of speech in +which the most ludicrous French, in the most barbarous accent, was +uttered in alternate bursts of loud abruptness and languishing drawl. +Sudden, grotesque playfulness was succeeded by equally sudden and +grotesque bashfulness; now an eager intrepidity of wild enthusiasm, +defying all decorum, and then a sour, severe reserve, full of angry and +terrified suspicion of imaginary improprieties. Tittering shyness, all +giggle-goggle and blush; stony and stolid stupidity, impenetrable to a +ray of perception; awkward, angular postures and gestures, and jerking +saltatory motions; Brobdingnag strides and straddles, and kittenish +frolics and friskings; sharp, shrill little whinnying squeals and +squeaks, followed by lengthened, sepulchral "O-h's"--all formed together +such an irresistibly ludicrous picture as made "Les Anglaises pour Rire" +of Poitier and Brunet one of the most comical pieces of acting I have +seen in all my life. + +Mrs. Rowden's establishment in Hans Place had been famous for occasional +dramatic representations by the pupils; and though she had become in her +Paris days what in the religious jargon of that day was called serious, +or even methodistical, she winked at, if she did not absolutely +encourage, sundry attempts of a similar sort which her Paris pupils got +up. + +Once it was a vaudeville composed expressly in honor of her birthday by +the French master, in which I had to sing, with reference to her, the +following touching tribute, to a well-known vaudeville tune: + + "C'est une mère! + Qui a les premiers droits sur nos coeurs? + Qui partage, d'une ardeur sincère, + Et nos plaisirs et nos douleurs? + C'est une mère!" + +I suppose this trumpery was stamped upon my brain by the infinite +difficulty I had in delivering it gracefully, with all the point and all +the pathos the author assured me it contained, at Mrs. Rowden, +surrounded by her friends and guests, and not suggesting to me the +remotest idea of _my_ mother or any body else's mother. + +After this we got up Madame de Genlis' little piece of "L' Isle +Heureuse," in which I acted the accomplished and conceited princess who +is so judiciously rejected by the wise and ancient men of the island, in +spite of the several foreign tongues she speaks fluently, in favor of +the tender-hearted young lady who, in defiance of all sound systems of +political and social economy, always walks about attended by the poor of +the island in a body, to whom she distributes food and clothes in a +perpetual stream of charity, and whose prayers and blessings lift her +very properly to the throne, while the other young woman is left talking +to all the ambassadors in all their different languages at once. + +Our next dramatic attempt came to a disastrous and premature end. I do +not know who suggested to us the witty and clever little play of +"Roxelane;" the versification of the piece is extremely easy and +graceful, and the preponderance of female characters and convenient +Turkish costume, of turbans and caftans, and loose voluminous trousers, +had appeared to us to combine various advantages for our purpose. +Mademoiselle Descuillès had consented to fill the part of Solyman, the +magnificent and charming Sultan, and I was to be the saucy French +heroine, "dont le nez en l'air semble narguer l'amour," the _sémillante_ +Roxelane. We had already made good progress in the only difficulty our +simple appreciation of matters dramatic presented to our imagination, +the committing the words of our parts to memory, when Mrs. Rowden, from +whom all our preparations on such occasions were kept sacredly secret, +lighted upon the copy of the play, with all the MS. marks and directions +for our better guidance in the performance; and great were our +consternation, dismay, and disappointment when, with the offending +pamphlet in her hand, she appeared in our midst and indignantly forbade +the representation of any such piece, after the following ejaculatory +fashion, and with an accent difficult to express by written signs: "May, +commang! may_de_mosels, je suis atonnay! May! commang! May_de_mosel +Descuillès, je suis surprise! Kesse ke say! vous per_ma_ttay +may_de_mosels être lay filles d'ung seraglio! je ne vou pau! je vous +defang! je suis biang atonnay!" And so she departed, with our prompter's +copy, leaving us rather surprised, ourselves, at the unsuspected horror +we had been about to perpetrate, and Mademoiselle Descuillès shrugging +her shoulders and smiling, and not probably quite convinced of the +criminality of a piece of which the heroine, a pretty Frenchwoman, +revolutionizes the Ottoman Empire by inducing her Mohammedan lover to +dismiss his harem and confine his affections to her, whom he is supposed +to marry after the most orthodox fashion possible in those parts. + +Our dramatic ardor was considerably damped by this event, and when next +it revived our choice could not be accused of levity. Our aim was +infinitely more ambitious, and our task more arduous. Racine's +"Andromaque" was selected for our next essay in acting, and was, I +suppose, pronounced unobjectionable by the higher authorities. Here, +however, our mainstay and support, Mademoiselle Descuillès, interposed a +very peculiar difficulty. She had very good-naturedly learned the part +of Solyman, in the other piece, for us, and whether she resented the +useless trouble she had had on that occasion, or disliked that of +committing several hundred of Racine's majestic verses to memory, I know +not; but she declared that she would only act the part of Pyrrhus, which +we wished her to fill, if we would read it aloud to her till she knew +it, while she worked at her needle. Of course we had to accept any +condition she chose to impose upon us, and so we all took it by turns, +whenever we saw her industrious fingers flying through their +never-ending task, to seize up Racine and begin pouring her part into +her ears. She actually learned it so, and our principal difficulty after +so teaching her was to avoid mixing up the part of Pyrrhus, which we had +acquired by the same process, with every other part in the play. + +The dressing of this classical play was even more convenient than our +contemplated Turkish costume could have been. A long white skirt drawn +round the waist, a shorter one, with slits in it for armholes, drawn +round the neck by way of tunic, with dark blue or scarlet Greek pattern +border, and ribbon of the same color for girdle, and sandals, formed a +costume that might have made Rachel or Ristori smile, but which +satisfied all our conceptions of antique simplicity and grace; and so we +played our play. + +Mademoiselle Descuillès was Pyrrhus; a tall blonde, with an insipid face +and good figure, Andromaque; Elizabeth P----, my admired and emulated +superior in all things, Oreste (not superior, however, in acting; she +had not the questionable advantage of dramatic blood in her veins); and +myself, Hermione (in the performance of which I very presently gave +token of mine). We had an imposing audience, and were all duly +terrified, became hoarse with nervousness, swallowed raw eggs to clear +our throats, and only made ourselves sick with them as well as with +fright. But at length it was all over; the tragedy was ended, and I had +electrified the audience, my companions, and, still more, myself; and +so, to avert any ill effects from this general electrification, Mrs. +Rowden thought it wise and well to say to me, as she bade me good-night, +"Ah, my dear, I don't think your parents need ever anticipate your going +on the stage; you would make but a poor actress." And she was right +enough. I did make but a poor actress, certainly, though that was not +for want of natural talent for the purpose, but for want of cultivating +it with due care and industry. At the time she made that comment upon my +acting I felt very well convinced, and have since had good reason to +know, that my school-mistress thought my performance a threat, or +promise (I know not which to call it) of decided dramatic power, as I +believe it was. + +With this performance of "Andromaque," however, all such taste, if it +ever existed, evaporated, and though a few years afterward the stage +became my profession, it was the very reverse of my inclination. I +adopted the career of an actress with as strong a dislike to it as was +compatible with my exercising it at all. + +I now became acquainted with all Racine's and Corneille's plays, from +which we were made to commit to memory the most remarkable passages; and +I have always congratulated myself upon having become familiar with all +these fine compositions before I had any knowledge whatever of +Shakespeare. Acquaintance with his works might, and I suppose certainly +would, have impaired my relish for the great French dramatists, whose +tragedies, noble and pathetic in spite of the stiff formality of their +construction, the bald rigidity of their adherence to the classic +unities, and the artificial monotony of the French heroic rhymed verse, +would have failed to receive their due appreciation from a taste and +imagination already familiar with the glorious freedom of Shakespeare's +genius. As it was, I learned to delight extremely in the dignified +pathos and stately tragic power of Racine and Corneille, in the +tenderness, refinement, and majestic vigorous simplicity of their fine +creations, and possessed a treasure of intellectual enjoyment in their +plays before opening the first page of that wonderful volume which +contains at once the history of human nature and human existence. + +After I had been about a year and a half at school, Mrs. Rowden left her +house in the Rue d'Angoulême, and moved to a much finer one, at the very +top of the Champs Élysées, a large, substantial stone mansion, within +lofty iron gates and high walls of inclosure. It was the last house on +the left-hand side within the Barrière de l'Étoile, and stood on a +slight eminence and back from the Avenue des Champs Élysées by some +hundred yards. For many years after I had left school, on my repeated +visits to Paris, the old stone house bore on its gray front the large +"Institution de jeunes Demoiselles," which betokened the unchanged tenor +of its existence. But the rising tide of improvement has at length swept +it away, and modern Paris has rolled over it, and its place remembers it +no more. It was a fine old house, roomy, airy, bright, sunny, cheerful, +with large apartments and a capital play-ground, formed by that +old-fashioned device, a quincunx of linden trees, under whose shade we +carried on very Amazonian exercises, fighting having become one of our +favorite recreations. + +This house was said to have belonged to Robespierre at one time, and a +very large and deep well in one corner of the play-ground was invested +with a horrid interest in our imaginations by tales of _noyades_ on a +small scale supposed to have been perpetrated in its depths by his +orders. This charm of terror was, I think, rather a gratuitous addition +to the attractions of this uncommonly fine well; but undoubtedly it +added much to the fascination of one of our favorite amusements, which +was throwing into it the heaviest stones we could lift, and rushing to +the farthest end of the play-ground, which we sometimes reached before +the resounding _bumps_ from side to side ended in a sullen splash into +the water at the bottom. With our removal to the Barrière de l'Étoile, +the direction of our walks altered, and our visits to the Luxembourg +Gardens and the Parc Monceaux were exchanged for expeditions to the Bois +de Boulogne, then how different from the charming pleasure-ground of +Paris which it became under the reforming taste and judgment of Louis +Napoleon! + +Between the back of our play-ground and the village suburb of Chaillot +scarcely a decent street or even house then existed; there was no +splendid Avenue de l'Impératrice, with bright villas standing on vivid +carpets of flowers and turf. Our way to the "wood" was along the +dreariest of dusty high-roads, bordered with mean houses and +disreputable-looking _estaminets_; and the Bois de Boulogne itself, then +undivided from Paris by the fortifications which subsequently encircled +the city, was a dismal network of sandy avenues and _carrefours_, +traversed in every direction by straight, narrow, gloomy paths, a dreary +wilderness of low thickets and tangled copsewood. + +I have said that I never returned home during my three years' school +life in Paris; but portions of my holidays were spent with a French +family, kind friends of my parents, who received me as an _enfant de la +maison_ among them. They belonged to the _petite bourgeoisie_ of Paris. +Mr. A---- had been in some business, I believe, but when I visited him +he was living as a small _rentier_, in a pretty little house on the main +road from Paris to Versailles. + +It was just such a residence as Balzac describes with such minute finish +in his scenes of Parisian and provincial life: a sunny little +_maisonnette_, with green _jalousies_, a row of fine linden trees +clipped into arches in front of it, and behind, the trim garden with its +wonderfully productive dwarf _espaliers_, full of delicious pears and +Reine Claudes (that queen of amber-tinted, crimson-freckled greengages), +its apricots, as fragrant as flowers, and its glorious, spice-breathing +carnations. + +The mode of life and manners of these worthy people were not refined or +elegant, but essentially hospitable and kind; and I enjoyed the sunny +freedom of my holiday visits to them extremely. The marriage of their +daughter opened to me a second Parisian home of the same class, but with +greater pretensions to social advantages, derived from the great city in +the center of which it stood. + +I was present at the celebration of Caroline A----'s marriage to one of +the head-masters of a first-class boarding-school for boys, of which he +subsequently became the principal director. It was in the Rue de Clichy, +and thither the bride departed, after a jolly, rollicking, noisy +wedding, beginning with the religious solemnization at church and +procession to the _mairie_ for due sanction of the civil authorities, +and ending with a bountiful, merry, early afternoon dinner, and the not +over-refined ancient custom of the distribution of the _jarretière de la +mariée_. The jarretière was a white satin ribbon, tied at a discreet +height above the bride's ankle, and removed thence by the best man and +cut into pieces, for which an animated scramble took place among the +male guests, each one who obtained a piece of the white favor +immediately fastening it in his button-hole. Doubtless, in earlier and +coarser times, it was the bride's real garter that was thus distributed, +and our elegant white and silver rosettes are the modern representatives +of this primitive wedding "favor," which is a relic of ages when both in +England and in France usages obtained at the noblest marriages which +would be tolerated by no class in either country now; + + "When bluff King Hal the stocking threw, + And Katharine's hand the curtain drew." + +I have a distinct recollection of the merry uproar caused by this +ceremony, and of the sad silence that fell upon the little sunny +dwelling when the new-married pair and all the guests had returned to +Paris, and I helped poor Madame A---- and her old _cuisinière_ and +_femme de charge_, both with tearful eyes, to replace the yellow +_velours d'Utrecht_ furniture in its accustomed position on the shiny +_parquet_ of the best _salon_, with the slippery little bits of +foot-rugs before the empty _bergères_ and _canapés_. + +My holidays after this time were spent with M. and Madame R----, in +whose society I remember frequently seeing a literary man of the name of +Pélissier, a clever writer, a most amusing talker, and an admirable +singer of Béranger's songs. + +Another visitor of their house was M. Rio, the eminent member of the +French ultramontane party, the friend of Lammenais, Lacordaire, +Montalembert, the La Ferronays, the hero of the Jeune Vendée, the +learned and devout historian of Christian art. I think my friend M. +R---- was a Breton by birth, and that was probably the tie between +himself and his remarkable Vendéan friend, whose tall, commanding +figure, dark complexion, and powerful black eyes gave him more the +appearance of a Neapolitan or Spaniard than of a native of the coast of +ancient Armorica. M. Rio was then a young man, and probably in Paris for +the first time, at the beginning of the literary career of which he has +furnished so interesting a sketch in the autobiographical volumes which +form the conclusion of his "Histoire de l'Art Chrétien." Five and twenty +years later, while passing my second winter in Rome, I heard of M. Rio's +arrival there, and of the unbounded satisfaction he expressed at finding +himself in the one place where no restless wheels beat time to, and no +panting chimneys breathed forth the smoke of the vast, multiform +industry of the nineteenth century; where the sacred stillness of +unprogressive conservatism yet prevailed undisturbed. Gas had, indeed, +been introduced in the English quarter; but M. Rio could shut his eyes +when he drove through that, and there still remained darkness enough +elsewhere for those who loved it better than light. + +During one of my holiday visits to M. R----, a ball was given at his +young gentlemen's school, to which I was taken by him and his wife. It +was my very first ball, and I have a vivid recollection of my white +muslin frock and magnificent _ponceau_ sash. At this festival I was +introduced to a lad, with whom I was destined to be much more intimately +acquainted in after years as one of the best amateur actors I ever saw, +and who married one of the most charming and distinguished women of +European society, Pauline de la Ferronays, whose married name has +obtained wide celebrity as that of the authoress of "Le Récit d'une +Soeur." + +I remained in Paris till I was between fifteen and sixteen years old, +and then it was determined that I should return home. The departure of +Elizabeth P---- had left me without competitor in my studies among my +companions, and I was at an age to be better at home than at any school. + +My father came to fetch me, and the only adventure I met with on the way +back was losing my bonnet, blown from my head into the sea, on board the +packet, which obliged me to purchase one as soon as I reached London; +and having no discreeter guide of my proceedings, I so far imposed upon +my father's masculine ignorance in such matters as to make him buy for +me a full-sized Leghorn flat, under the circumference of which enormous +_sombrero_ I seated myself by him on the outside of the Weybridge coach, +and amazed the gaping population of each successive village we passed +through with the vast dimensions of the thatch I had put on my head. + +Weybridge was not then reached by train in half an hour from London; it +was two or three hours' coach distance: a rural, rather +deserted-looking, and most picturesque village, with the desolate domain +of Portmore Park, its mansion falling to ruin, on one side of it, and on +the other the empty house and fine park of Oatlands, the former +residence of the Duke of York. + +The straggling little village lay on the edge of a wild heath and common +country that stretches to Guildford and Godalming and all through that +part of Surrey to Tunbridge Wells, Brighton, and the Sussex coast--a +region of light, sandy soil, hiding its agricultural poverty under a +royal mantle of golden gorse and purple heather, and with large tracts +of blue aromatic pine wood and one or two points of really fine scenery, +where the wild moorland rolls itself up into ridges and rises to crests +of considerable height, which command extensive and beautiful views: +such as the one from the summit of Saint George's Hill, near Weybridge, +and the top of Blackdown, the noble site of Tennyson's fine house, +whence, over miles of wild wood and common, the eye sweeps to the downs +above the Sussex cliffs and the glint of the narrow seas. + +We had left London in the afternoon, and did not reach Weybridge until +after dark. I had been tormented the whole way down by a nervous fear +that I should not know my mother's face again; an absence of three +years, of course, could not justify such an apprehension, but it had +completely taken possession of my imagination and was causing me much +distress, when, as the coach stopped in the dark at the village inn, I +heard the words, "Is there any one here for Mrs. Kemble?" uttered in a +voice which I knew so well, that I sprang, hat and all, into my mother's +arms, and effectually got rid of my fear that I should not know her. + +Her rural yearnings had now carried her beyond her suburban refuge at +Craven Hill, and she was infinitely happy, in her small cottage +habitation, on the outskirts of Weybridge and the edge of its +picturesque common. Tiny, indeed, it was, and but for her admirable +power of contrivance could hardly have held us with any comfort; but she +delighted in it, and so did we all except my father, who, like most men, +had no real taste for the country; the men who appear to themselves and +others to like it confounding their love for hunting and shooting with +that of the necessary field of their sports. Anglers seem to me to be +the only sportsmen who really have a taste for and love of nature as +well as for fishy water. At any rate, the silent, solitary, and +comparatively still character of their pursuit enables them to study and +appreciate beauty of scenery more than the violent exercise and +excitement of fox-hunting, whatever may be said in favor of the +picturesque influences of beating preserves and wading through +turnip-fields with keepers and companions more or less congenial. + +Of deer-stalking and grouse-shooting I do not speak; a man who does not +become enthusiastic in his admiration of wild scenery while following +these sports must have but half the use of his eyes. + +Perhaps it was hardly fair to expect my father to relish extremely a +residence where he was as nearly as possible too high and too wide, too +long and too large, for every room in the house. He used to come down on +Saturday and stay till Monday morning, but the rest of the week he spent +at what was then our home in London, No. 5 Soho Square; it was a +handsome, comfortable, roomy house, and has now, I think, been converted +into a hospital. + +The little cottage at Weybridge was covered at the back with a vine, +which bore with the utmost luxuriance a small, black, sweet-water grape, +from which, I remember, one year my mother determined to make wine; a +direful experiment, which absorbed our whole harvest of good little +fruit, filled every room in the house with unutterable messes, produced +much fermentation of temper as well as wine, and ended in a liquid +product of such superlative nastiness, that to drink it defied our +utmost efforts of obedience and my mother's own resolute courage; so it +was with acclamations of execration made libations of--to the infernal +gods, I should think--and no future vintage was ever tried, to our great +joy. + +The little plot of lawn on which our cottage stood was backed by the +wild purple swell of the common, and that was crested by a fine fir +wood, a beautiful rambling and scrambling ground, full of picturesque +and romantic associations with all the wild and fanciful mental +existences which I was then beginning to enjoy. And even as I glide +through it now, on the railroad that has laid its still depths open to +the sun's glare and scared its silence with the eldritch snort and +shriek of the iron team, I have visions of Undine and Sintram, the +Elves, the little dog Stromian, the Wood-Witch, and all the world of +supernatural beauty and terror which then peopled its recesses for me, +under the influence of the German literature that I was becoming +acquainted with through the medium of French and English translations, +and that was carrying me on its tide of powerful enchantment far away +from the stately French classics of my school studies. + +Besides our unusual privilege of grape-growing in the open air, our +little estate boasted a magnificent beurré pear tree, a small arbor of +intertwined and peculiarly fine filbert and cobnut trees, and some +capital greengage and apple trees; among the latter, a remarkably large +and productive Ribstone pippin. So that in the spring the little plot of +land was flowerful, and in the autumn fruitful, and we cordially +indorsed my mother's preference for it to the London house in Soho +Square. + +The sort of orchard which contained all these objects of our regard was +at the back of the house; in front of it, however, the chief peculiarity +(which was by no means a beauty) of the place was displayed. + +This was an extraordinary mound or hillock of sand, about half an acre +in circumference, which stood at a distance of some hundred yards +immediately in front of the cottage, and in the middle of what ought to +have been a flower garden, if this uncouth protuberance had not +effectually prevented the formation of any such ornamental setting to +our house. My mother's repeated applications to our landlord (the +village baker) to remove or allow her to remove this unsightly +encumbrance were unavailing. He thought he might have future use for the +sand, and he knew he had no other present place of deposit for it; and +there it remained, defying all my mother's ingenuity and love of beauty +to convert it into any thing useful or ornamental, or other than a cruel +eye-sore and disfigurement to our small domain. + +At length she hit upon a device for abating her nuisance, and set about +executing it as follows. She had the sand dug out of the interior of the +mound and added to its exterior, which she had graded and smoothed and +leveled and turfed so as to resemble the glacis of a square bastion or +casemate, or other steep, smooth-sided earth-work in a fortification. It +was, I suppose, about twenty feet high, and sloped at too steep an angle +for us to scale or descend it; a good footpath ran round the top, +accessible from the entrance of the sand-heap, the interior walls of +which she turfed (to speak Irish) with heather, and the ground or floor +of this curious inclosure she planted with small clumps of evergreen +shrubs, leaving a broad walk through the middle of it to the house door. +A more curious piece of domestic fortification never adorned a cottage +garden. It looked like a bit of Robinson Crusoe's castle--perhaps even +more like a portion of some deserted fortress. It challenged the +astonishment of all our visitors, whose invariable demand was, "What is +that curious place in the garden?" "The mound," was the reply; and the +mound was a delightful play-ground for us, and did infinite credit to my +mother's powers of contrivance. Forty years and more elapsed between my +first acquaintance with Weybridge and my last visit there. The Duke of +York's house at Oatlands, afterwards inhabited by my friends Lord and +Lady Ellesmere, had become a country hotel, pleasant to all its visitors +but those who, like myself, saw ghosts in its rooms and on its gravel +walks; its lovely park, a nest of "villas," made into a suburb of London +by the railroads that intersect in all directions the wild moorland +twenty miles from the city, which looked, when I first knew it, as if it +might be a hundred. + +I read and spent a night at the Oatlands Hotel, and walked, before I did +so, to my mother's old cottage. The tiny house had had some small +additions, and looked new and neat and well cared for. The mound, +however, still stood its ground, and had relapsed into something of its +old savage condition; it would have warranted a theory of Mr. Oldbuck's +as to its possible former purposes and origin. I looked at its crumbled +and irregular wall, from which the turf had peeled or been washed away; +at the tangled growth of grasses and weeds round the top, crenellated +with many a breach and gap; and the hollow, now choked up with luxuriant +evergreens that overtopped the inclosure and forbade entrance to it, and +thought of my mother's work and my girlish play there, and was glad to +see her old sand-heap was still standing, though her planting had, with +the blessing of time, made it impenetrable to me. + +Our cottage was the last decent dwelling on that side of the village; +between ourselves and the heath and pine wood there was one miserable +shanty, worthy of the poorest potato patch in Ireland. It was inhabited +by a ragged ruffian of the name of E----, whose small domain we +sometimes saw undergoing arable processes by the joint labor of his son +and heir, a ragged ruffian some sizes smaller than himself, and of a +half-starved jackass, harnessed together to the plow he was holding; +occasionally the team was composed of the quadruped and a tattered and +fierce-looking female biped, a more terrible object than even the man +and boy and beast whose labors she shared. + +On the other side our nearest neighbors, separated from us by the common +and its boundary road, were a family of the name of ----, between whose +charming garden and pretty residence and our house a path was worn by a +constant interchange of friendly intercourse. + +I followed no regular studies whatever during our summer at Weybridge. +We lived chiefly in the open air, on the heath, in the beautiful wood +above the meadows of Brooklands, and in the neglected, picturesque +inclosure of Portmore Park, whose tenantless, half-ruined mansion, and +noble cedars, with the lovely windings of the river Wey in front, made +it a place an artist would have delighted to spend his hours in. + +We haunted it constantly for another purpose. My mother had a perfect +passion for fishing, and would spend whole days by the river, pursuing +her favorite sport. We generally all accompanied her, carrying baskets +and tackle and bait, kettles and camp stools, and looking very much like +a family of gypsies on the tramp. We were each of us armed with a rod, +and were more or less interested in the sport. We often started after an +early breakfast, and, taking our luncheon with us, remained the whole +day long absorbed in our quiet occupation. + +My mother was perfectly unobservant of all rules of angling, in her +indiscriminate enthusiasm, and "took to the water" whether the wind +blew, the sun shone, or the rain fell; fishing--under the most +propitious or unpropitious circumstances--was not, indeed, necessarily, +catching fish, but still, fishing; and she was almost equally happy +whether she did or did not catch any thing. I have known her remain all +day in patient expectation of the "glorious nibble," stand through +successive showers, with her clothes between whiles drying on her back, +and only reluctantly leave the water's edge when it was literally too +dark to see her float. + +Although we all fished, I was the only member of the family who +inherited my mother's passion for it, and it only developed much later +in me, for at this time I often preferred taking a book under the trees +by the river-side, to throwing a line; but towards the middle of my life +I became a fanatical fisherwoman, and was obliged to limit my waste of +time to one day in the week, spent on the Lenox lakes, or I should +infallibly have wandered thither and dreamed away my hours on their +charming shores or smooth expanse daily. + +I have often wondered that both my mother and myself (persons of +exceptional impatience of disposition and irritable excitability of +temperament) should have taken such delight in so still and monotonous +an occupation, especially to the point of spending whole days in an +unsuccessful pursuit of it. The fact is that the excitement of hope, +keeping the attention constantly alive, is the secret of the charm of +this strong fascination, infinitely more than even the exercise of +successful skill. And this element of prolonged and at the same time +intense expectation, combined with the peculiarly soothing nature of the +external objects which surround the angler, forms at once a powerful +stimulus and a sedative especially grateful in their double action upon +excitable organizations. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +I have said that we all more or less joined in my mother's fishing mania +at Weybridge; but my sister, then a girl of about eleven years, never +had any liking for it, which she attributed to the fact that my mother +often employed her to bait the hook for her. My sister's "tender-hefted" +nature was horribly disgusted and pained by this process, but my own +belief is that had she inherited the propensity to catch fish, even that +would not have destroyed it in her. I am not myself a cruel or +hardhearted woman (though I have the hunter's passion very strongly), +and invariably baited my own hook, in spite of the disgust and horror I +experienced at the wretched twining of the miserable worms round my +fingers, and springing of the poor little live bait with its back +pierced with a hook. But I have never allowed any one to do this office +for me, because it seemed to me that to inflict such a task on any one, +because it was revolting to me, was not fair or sportsmanlike; and so I +went on torturing my own bait and myself, too eagerly devoted to the +sport to refrain from it, in spite of the price I condemned myself to +pay for it. Moreover, if I have ever had female companions on my fishing +excursions, I have invariably done this service for them, thinking the +process too horrid for them to endure; and have often thought that if I +were a man, nothing could induce me to marry a woman whom I had seen +bait her own hook with any thing more sensitive than paste. + +I have said that I followed no systematic studies after I left school; +but from that time began for me an epoch of indiscriminate, omnivorous +reading, which lasted until I went upon the stage, when all my own +occupations were necessarily given up for the exercise of my profession. + +At this time my chief delight was in such German literature as +translations enabled me to become acquainted with. La Motte Fouqué, +Tieck, Wieland's "Oberon," Goethe's "Wilhelm Meister," were my principal +studies; soon to be followed by the sort of foretaste of Jean Paul +Richter that Mr. Carlyle's "Sartor Resartus" gave his readers; both +matter and manner in that remarkable work bearing far more resemblance +to the great German Incomprehensible than to any thing in the English +language, certainly not excepting Mr. Carlyle's own masterly articles in +the _Edinburgh Review_ on Burns, Elliot the Corn-Law Rhymer, etc. +Besides reading every book that came within my reach, I now commenced +the still more objectionable practice of scribbling verses without stint +or stay; some, I suppose, in very bad Italian, and some, I am sure, in +most indifferent English; but the necessity was on me, and perhaps an +eruption of such rubbish was a safer process than keeping it in the +mental system might have proved; and in the meantime this intellectual +effervescence added immensely to the pleasure of my country life, and my +long, rambling walks in that wild, beautiful neighborhood. + +I remember at this moment, by the by, a curious companionship we had in +those walks. A fine, big Newfoundland dog and small terrier were +generally of the party; and, nothing daunted by their presence, an +extremely tame and affectionate cat, who was a member of the family, +invariably joined the procession, and would accompany us in our longest +walks, trotting demurely along by herself, a little apart from the rest, +though evidently considering herself a member of the party. + +The dogs, fully occupied with each other, and with discursive raids +right and left of the road, and parenthetical rushes in various +directions for their own special delectation, would sometimes, returning +to us at full gallop, tumble over poor puss and roll her unceremoniously +down in their headlong career. She never, however, turned back for this, +but, recovering her feet, with her back arched all but in two, and every +hair of her tail standing on end with insulted dignity, vented in a +series of spittings and swearings her opinion of dogs in general and +those dogs in particular, and then resumed her own decently demure gait +and deportment; thanking Heaven, I have no doubt, in her cat's soul, +that she was not that disgustingly violent and ill-mannered beast--a +dog. + +My brothers shared with us our fishing excursions and these walks, when +at home from school; besides, I was promoted to their nobler +companionship by occasionally acting as long-stop or short-stop (stop of +some sort was undoubtedly my title) in insufficiently manned or boyed +games of cricket: once, while nervously discharging this onerous duty, I +received a blow on my instep from a cricket ball which I did not stop, +that seemed to me a severe price for the honor of sharing my brothers' +manly pastimes. A sport of theirs in which I joined with more +satisfaction was pistol-shooting at a mark: I had not a quick eye, but a +very steady hand, so that with a deliberate aim I contrived to hit the +mark pretty frequently. I liked this quiet exercise of skill better than +that dreadful watching and catching of cannon-balls at cricket; though +the noise of the discharge of fire-arms was always rather trying to me, +and I especially resented my pistol missing fire when I had braced my +courage for the report. My brother John at this time possessed a rifle +and a fowling-piece, with the use of both of which he endeavored to +familiarize me; but the rifle I found insupportably heavy, and as for +the other gun, it kicked so unmercifully, in consequence, I suppose, of +my not holding it hard enough against my shoulder the first time I fired +it, that I declined all further experiments with it, and reverted to the +pretty little lady-like pocket pistols, which were the only fire-arms I +ever used until one fine day, some years later, when I was promoted to +the honor of firing an American cannon on the practicing ground of the +young gentlemen cadets of West Point. + +While we retained our little cottage at Weybridge, the house of +Oatlands, the former residence of the Duke of York, and burial-place of +the duchess's favorite dogs, whose cemetery was one of the "lions" of +the garden, was purchased by a Mr. ----, a young gentleman of very large +fortune, who came down there and enlivened the neighborhood occasionally +with his sporting prowesses, which consisted in walking out, attired in +the very height of Bond Street dandyism, with two attendant gamekeepers, +one of whom carried and handed him his gun when he wished to fire it, +the other receiving it from him after it had been discharged. This very +luxurious mode of following his sport caused some sarcastic comment in +the village. + +This gentleman did not long retain possession of Oatlands, and it was +let to the Earl of Ellesmere, then Lord Francis Egerton, with whom and +Lady Francis we became acquainted soon after their taking it; an +acquaintance which on my part grew into a strong and affectionate regard +for both of them. They were excellent and highly accomplished, and, when +first I knew them, two of the handsomest and most distinguished-looking +persons I have ever seen. + +Our happy Weybridge summers, which succeeded each other for three years, +had but one incident of any importance for me--my catching the +small-pox, which I had very severely. A slight eruption from which my +sister suffered was at first pronounced by our village Æsculapius to be +chicken-pox, but presently assumed the more serious aspect of varioloid. +My sister, like the rest of us, had been carefully vaccinated; but the +fact was then by no means so generally understood as it now is, that the +power of the vaccine dies out of the system by degrees, and requires +renewing to insure safety. My mother, having lost her faith in +vaccination, thought that a natural attack of varioloid was the best +preservative from small-pox, and my sister having had her seasoning so +mildly and without any bad result but a small scar on her long nose, I +was sent for from London, where I was, with the hope that I should take +the same light form of the malady from her; but the difference of our +age and constitution was not taken into consideration, and I caught the +disease, indeed, but as nearly as possible died of it, and have remained +disfigured by it all my life. + +I was but little over sixteen, and had returned from school a very +pretty-looking girl, with fine eyes, teeth, and hair, a clear, vivid +complexion, and rather good features. The small-pox did not affect my +three advantages first named, but, besides marking my face very +perceptibly, it rendered my complexion thick and muddy and my features +heavy and coarse, leaving me so moderate a share of good looks as quite +to warrant my mother's satisfaction in saying, when I went on the stage, +"Well, my dear, they can't say we have brought you out to exhibit your +beauty." Plain I certainly was, but I by no means always looked so; and +so great was the variation in my appearance at different times, that my +comical old friend, Mrs. Fitzhugh, once exclaimed, "Fanny Kemble, you +are the ugliest and the handsomest woman in London!" And I am sure, if a +collection were made of the numerous portraits that have been taken of +me, nobody would ever guess any two of them to be likenesses of the same +person. + +The effect of natural small-pox on the skin and features varies +extremely in different individuals, I suppose according to their +constitution. My mother and her brother had the disease at the same +time, and with extreme violence; he retained his beautiful bright +complexion and smooth skin and handsome features; my mother was deeply +pitted all over her face, though the fine outline of her nose and mouth +was not injured in the slightest degree; while with me, the process +appeared to be one of general thickening or blurring, both of form and +color. Terrified by this result of her unfortunate experiment, my poor +mother had my brothers immediately vaccinated, and thus saved them from +the infection which they could hardly have escaped, and preserved the +beauty of my youngest brother, which then and for several years after +was very remarkable. + +Mrs. F---- is among the most vivid memories of my girlish days. She and +her husband were kind and intimate friends of my father and mother. He +was a most amiable and genial Irish gentleman, with considerable +property in Ireland and Suffolk, and a fine house in Portland Place, and +had married his cousin, a very handsome, clever, and eccentric woman. I +remember she always wore a bracelet of his hair, on the massive clasp of +which were engraved the words, "Stesso sangue, stessa sorte." I also +remember, as a feature of sundry dinners at their house, the first gold +dessert service and table ornaments that I ever saw, the magnificence of +which made a great impression upon me; though I also remember their +being replaced, upon Mrs. F---- wearying of them, by a set of ground +glass and dead and burnished silver, so exquisite, that the splendid +gold service was pronounced infinitely less tasteful and beautiful. + +Mrs. F----'s sons were school-fellows of my eldest brother, under Dr. +Malkin, the master of the grammar school of Bury St. Edmunds; and at +this time we always saw Dr. and Mrs. Malkin when they visited London, +and I was indebted to the doctor for a great deal of extremely kind +interest which he took in my mental development and cultivation. + +He suggested books for my reading, and set me, as a useful exercise, to +translate Sismondi's fine historical work, "Les Républiques Italiennes," +which he wished me to abridge for publication. I was not a little proud +of Dr. Malkin's notice and advice; he was my brother's school-master, an +object of respectful admiration, and a kind and condescending friend to +me. + +He was a hearty, genial man, of portly person, and fine, intelligent, +handsome face; active and energetic in his habits and movements, in +spite of a slight lameness, which I remember he accounted for to me in +the following manner. He was very intimate with Miss O'Neil before she +left the stage and became Lady Becher. While dancing with her in a +country-dance one evening at her house, she exclaimed, on hearing a +sudden sonorous twang, "Dear me! there is one of the chords of my harp +snapped." "Indeed it is not," replied Dr. Malkin; "it is my +tendo-Achillis which has snapped." And so it was; and from that time he +always remained lame. + +Mrs. Malkin was a more uncommon person than her husband; the strength of +her character and sweetness of her disposition were alike admirable, and +the bright vivacity of her countenance and singular grace and dignity of +her person must be a pleasant memory in the minds of all who, like +myself, knew her while she was yet in the middle bloom of life. + +Dr. and Mrs. Malkin's sons were my brother's school and college mates. +They were all men of ability, and good scholars, as became their +father's sons. Sir Benjamin, the eldest, achieved eminence as a lawyer, +and became an Indian judge; and the others would undoubtedly have risen +to distinction but for the early death that carried off Frederick and +Charles, and the hesitation of speech which closed almost all public +careers to their brother Arthur. + +He was a prominent and able contributor to the "Library of Useful +Knowledge," and furnished a great part of the first of a whole +generation of delightful publications, Murray's "Hand-Book" for +Switzerland. + +One of the earliest of Alpine explorers, Arthur Malkin mounted to those +icy battlements which have since been scaled by a whole army of +besiegers, and planted the banner of English courage and enterprise on +"peaks, passes, and glaciers" which, when he first climbed the shining +summits of the Alps, were all but _terra incognita_ to his countrymen. + +There is nothing more familiar to the traveling and reading British +public nowadays than Alpine adventures and their records; but when my +friend first conquered the passes between Evolena and Zermatt (still one +of the least overrun mountain regions of Switzerland), their sublime +solitudes were awful with the mystery of unexplored loneliness. Now +professors climb up them, and artists slide down them, and they are +photographed with "members" straddling over their dire crevasses, or +cutting capers on their scornful summits, or turning somersaults down +their infinite precipices. The air of the high Alps was inhaled by few +Englishmen before Arthur Malkin; one can not help thinking that now, +even on the top of the Matterhorn and Monte Rosa, it must have lost some +of its freshness. + +I have said that all Dr. Malkin's sons were men of more than average +ability; but one, who never lived to be a man, "died a most rare boy" of +about six years, fully justifying by his extraordinary precocity and +singular endowments the tribute which his bereaved father paid his +memory in a modest and touching record of his brief and remarkable +existence. + +My Parisian education appeared, at this time, to have failed signally in +the one especial result that might have been expected from it: all my +French dancing lessons had not given me a good deportment, nor taught me +to hold myself upright. I stooped, slouched, and poked, stood with one +hip up and one shoulder down, and exhibited an altogether disgracefully +ungraceful carriage, which greatly afflicted my parents. In order that I +might "bear my body more seemly," various were the methods resorted to; +among others, a hideous engine of torture of the backboard species, made +of steel covered with red morocco, which consisted of a flat piece +placed on my back, and strapped down to my waist with a belt and secured +at the top by two epaulets strapped over my shoulders. From the middle +of this there rose a steel rod or spine, with a steel collar which +encircled my throat and fastened behind. This, it was hoped, would +eventually put my shoulders down and my head up, and in the meantime I +had the appearance of a young woman walking about in a portable pillory. +The ease and grace which this horrible machine was expected to impart to +my figure and movements were, however, hardly perceptible after +considerable endurance of torture on my part, and to my ineffable joy it +was taken off (my harness, as I used to call it; and no knight of old +ever threw off his iron shell with greater satisfaction), and I was +placed under the tuition of a sergeant of the Royal Foot Guards, who +undertook to make young ladies carry themselves and walk well, and not +exactly like grenadiers either. This warrior having duly put me through +a number of elementary exercises, such as we see the awkward squads on +parade grounds daily drilled in, took leave of me with the verdict, that +I "was fit to march before the Duke of York," then commander of the +forces; and, thanks to his instructions, I remained endowed with a flat +back, well-placed shoulders, an erect head, upright carriage, and +resolute step. + +I think my education had come nearly to a standstill at this period, +for, with the exception of these physical exercises, and certain hours +of piano-forte practicing and singing lessons, I was left very much to +the irregular and unsystematic reading which I selected for myself. I +had a good contralto voice, which my mother was very desirous of +cultivating, but I think my progress was really retarded by the +excessive impatience with which her excellent ear endured my +unsuccessful musical attempts. I used to practice in her sitting-room, +and I think I sang out of tune and played false chords oftener, from +sheer apprehension of her agonized exclamations, than I should have done +under the supervision of a less sensitively organized person. I remember +my sister's voice and musical acquirements first becoming remarkable at +this time, and giving promise of her future artistic excellence. I +recollect a ballad from the Mexican opera by Bishop, called Cortex, "Oh, +there's a Mountain Palm," which she sang with a clear, high, sweet, true +little voice and touching expression, full of pathos, in which I used to +take great delight. + +The nervous terror which I experienced when singing or playing before my +mother was carried to a climax when I was occasionally called upon to +accompany the vocal performances of our friendly acquaintance, James +Smith (one of the authors of the "Rejected Addresses"). He was famous +for his humorous songs and his own capital rendering of them, but the +anguish I endured in accompanying him made those comical performances of +his absolutely tragical to me; the more so that he had a lion-like cast +of countenance, with square jaws and rather staring eyes. But perhaps he +appeared so stern-visaged only to me; while he sang everybody laughed, +but I perspired coldly and felt ready to cry, and so have but a +lugubrious impression of some of the most amusing productions of that +description, heard to the very best advantage (if I could have listened +to them at all) as executed by their author. + +Among our most intimate friends at this time were my cousin Horace Twiss +and his wife. I have been reminded of him in speaking of James Smith, +because he had a good deal of the same kind of humor, not unmixed with a +vein of sentiment, and I remember his songs, which he sang with great +spirit and expression, with the more pleasure that he never required me +to accompany them. One New-Year's Eve that he spent with us, just before +going away he sang charmingly some lines he had composed in the course +of the evening, the graceful turn of which, as well as the feeling with +which he sang them, were worthy of Moore. I remember only the burden: + + "Oh, come! one genial hour improve, + And fill one measure duly; + A health to those we truly love, + And those who love us truly!" + +And this stanza: + + "To-day has waved its parting wings, + To join the days before it; + And as for what the morning brings, + The morning's mist hangs o'er it." + +It was delightful to hear him and my mother talk together, and their +disputes, though frequent, seemed generally extremely amicable, and as +diverting to themselves as to us. On one occasion he ended their +discussion (as to whether some lady of their acquaintance had or had not +gone somewhere) by a vehement declaration which passed into a proverb in +our house: "Yes, yes, she did; for a woman will go anywhere, at any +time, with anybody, to see any thing--especially in a gig." Those were +days in which a gig was a vehicle the existence of which was not only +recognized in civilized society, but supposed to confer a diploma of +"gentility" upon its possessor. + +Horace Twiss was one of the readiest and most amusing talkers in the +world, and when he began to make his way in London society, which he +eventually did very successfully, ill-natured persons considered his +first step in the right direction to have been a repartee made in the +crush-room of the opera, while standing close to Lady L----, who was +waiting for her carriage. A man he was with saying, "Look at that fat +Lady L----; isn't she like a great white cabbage?" "Yes," answered +Horace, in a discreetly loud tone, "she _is_ like one--all heart, I +believe." The white-heart cabbage turned affably to the rising +barrister, begged him to see her to her carriage, and gave him the +_entrée_ of H---- House. Lord Clarendon subsequently put him in +Parliament for his borough of Wootton-Basset, and for a short time he +formed part of the ministry, holding one of the under-secretaryships. He +was clever, amiable, and good-tempered, and had every qualification for +success in society. + +He had married a Miss Searle, one of his mother's pupils at the +fashionable Bath boarding-school, the living image of Scott's Fenella, +the smallest woman that I have ever seen, with fairy feet and tiny +hands, the extraordinary power of which was like that of a steel talon. +On one occasion, when Horace Twiss happened to mention that his bright +little spark of a wife sat working in his library by him, while he was +engaged with his law or business papers, my mother suggested that her +conversation must disturb him. "Oh, she doesn't talk," said he, "but I +like to hear the scissors fall," a pretty conjugal reply, that left a +pleasant image in my mind. His only child by her, a daughter, married +first Mr. Bacon, then editor of the _Times_, and, after his death, John +Delane, who succeeded him in that office and still holds it; so that her +father said "she took the _Times_ and Supplement." + +About this time I began to be aware of the ominous distresses and +disturbances connected with the affairs of the theater, that were to +continue and increase until the miserable subject became literally the +sauce to our daily bread; embittering my father's life with incessant +care and harassing vexation; and of the haunting apprehension of that +ruin which threatened us for years, and which his most strenuous efforts +only delayed, without averting it. + +The proprietors were engaged in a lawsuit with each other, and finally +one of them threw the whole concern into chancery; and for years that +dreary chancery suit seemed to envelop us in an atmosphere of +palpitating suspense or stagnant uncertainty, and to enter as an +inevitable element into every hope, fear, expectation, resolution, +event, or action of our lives. + +How unutterably heart-sick I became of the very sound of its name, and +how well I remember the expression on my father's careworn face one day, +as he turned back from the door, out of which he was going to his daily +drudgery at the theater, to say to my aunt, who had reproached him with +the loss of a button from his rather shabby coat, "Ah, Dall, my dear, +you see it is my chancery suit!" + +Lord Eldon, Sir John Leach, Lord Lyndhurst, and Lord Brougham were the +successive chancellors before whom the case was heard; the latter was a +friend of my family, and on one occasion my father took me to the House +of Lords to hear the proceedings. We were shown into the chancellor's +room, where he indeed was not, but where his huge official wig was +perched upon a block; the temptation was irresistible, and for half a +minute I had the awful and ponderous periwig on my pate. + +While we were still living in Soho Square our house was robbed; or +rather, my father's writing-desk was broken open, and sixty sovereigns +taken from it--a sum that he could very hardly spare. He had been at the +theater, acting, and my mother had spent the evening at some friend's +house, and the next morning great was the consternation of the family on +finding what had happened. The dining-room sideboard and _cellarette_ +had been opened, and wine and glasses put on the table, as if our +robbers had drank our good health for the success of their attempt. + +A Bow Street officer was sent for; I remember his portly and imposing +aspect very well; his name was Salmon, and he was a famous member of his +fraternity. He questioned my mother as to the honesty of our servants; +we had but three, a cook, housemaid, and footman, and for all of these +my mother answered unhesitatingly; and yet the expert assured her that +very few houses were robbed without connivance from within. + +The servants were had up and questioned, and the cook related how, +coming down first thing in the morning, she had found a certain back +scullery window open, and, alarmed by that, had examined the lower +rooms, and found the dining-room table set out with the decanters and +glasses. Having heard her story, the officer, as soon as she left the +room, asked my mother if any thing else besides the money had been +taken, and if any quantity of the wine had been drank. She said, "No," +and with regard to the last inquiry, she supposed, as the cook had +suggested when the decanters were examined, that the thieves had +probably been disturbed by some alarm, and had not had time to drink +much. + +Mr. Salmon then requested to look at the kitchen premises; the cook +officiously led the way to the scullery window, which was still open, +"just as she found it," she said, and proceeded to explain how the +robbers must have got over the wall of a court which ran at the back of +the house. When she had ended her demonstrations and returned to the +kitchen, Salmon, who had listened silently to her story of the case, +detained my mother for an instant, and rapidly passed his hand over the +outside window-sill, bringing away a thick layer of undisturbed dust, +which the passage of anybody through the window must infallibly have +swept off. Satisfied at once of the total falsity of the cook's +hypothesis, he told my mother that he had no doubt at all that she was a +party to the robbery, that the scullery window and dining-room drinking +scene were alike mere blinds, and that in all probability she had let +into the house whoever had broken open the desk, or else forced it +herself, having acquired by some means a knowledge of the money it +contained; adding, that in the very few words of interrogatory which had +passed between him and the servants, in my mother's presence, he had +felt quite sure that the housemaid and man were innocent; but had +immediately detected something in the cook's manner that seemed to him +suspicious. What a fine tact of guilt these detectives acquire in their +immense experience of it! The cook was not prosecuted, but dismissed, +the money, of course, not being recoverable; it was fortunate that +neither she nor her honest friends had any suspicion of the contents of +three boxes lying in the drawing-room at this very time. They were +large, black leather cases, containing a silver helmet, shield, and +sword, of antique Roman pattern and beautiful workmanship--a public +tribute bestowed upon my uncle, and left by him to my father; they have +since become an ornamental trophy in my sister's house. They were then +about to be sent for safe keeping to Coutts's bank, and in the meantime +lay close to the desk that had been rifled of a more portable but far +less valuable booty. + +Upon my uncle John's death his widow had returned to England, and fixed +her residence at a charming place called Heath Farm, in Hertfordshire. +Lord Essex had been an attached friend of my uncle's, and offered this +home on his property to Mrs. Kemble when she came to England, after her +long sojourn abroad with my uncle, who, as I have mentioned, spent the +last years of his life, and died, at Lausanne. Mrs. Kemble invited my +mother to come and see her soon after she settled in Hertfordshire, and +I accompanied her thither. Cashiobury Park thus became familiar ground +to me, and remains endeared to my recollection for its own beauty, for +the delightful days I passed rambling about it, and for the beginning of +that love bestowed upon my whole life by H---- S----. Heath Farm was a +pretty house, at once rural, comfortable, and elegant, with a fine +farm-yard adjoining it, a sort of cross between a farm and a manor +house; it was on the edge of the Cashiobury estate, within which it +stood, looking on one side over its lawn and flower-garden to the grassy +slopes and fine trees of the park, and on the other, across a road which +divided the two properties, to Lord Clarendon's place, the Grove. It had +been the residence of Lady Monson before her (second) marriage to Lord +Warwick. Close to it was a pretty cottage, also in the park, where lived +an old Miss M----, often visited by a young kinswoman of hers, who +became another of my life-long friends. T---- B----, Miss M----'s niece, +was then a beautiful young woman, whose singularly fine face and sweet +and spirited expression bore a strong resemblance to two eminently +handsome people, my father and Mademoiselle Mars. She and I soon became +intimate companions, though she was several years my senior. We used to +take long rambles together, and vaguely among my indistinct +recollections of her aunt's cottage and the pretty woodland round it, +mix sundry flying visions of a light, youthful figure, that of Lord +M----, then hardly more than a lad, who seemed to haunt the path of his +cousin, my handsome friend, and one evening caused us both a sudden +panic by springing out of a thicket on us, in the costume of a +Harlequin. Some years after this, when I was about to leave England for +America, I went to take leave of T---- B----. She was to be married the +next day to Lord M----, and was sitting with his mother, Lady W----, and +on a table near her lay a set of jewels, as peculiar as they were +magnificent, consisting of splendid large opals set in diamonds, black +enamel, and gold.... + +To return to our Cashiobury walks: T---- B---- and I used often to go +together to visit ladies, the garden round whose cottage overflowed in +every direction with a particular kind of white and maroon pink, the +powerful, spicy odor of which comes to me, like a warm whiff of summer +sweetness, across all these intervening fifty years. Another favorite +haunt of ours was a cottage (not of gentility) inhabited by an old man +of the name of Foster, who, hale and hearty and cheerful in extreme old +age, was always delighted to see us, used to give us choice flowers and +fruit out of his tiny garden, and make me sit and sing to him by the +half-hour together in his honeysuckle-covered porch. After my first +visit to Heath Farm some time elapsed before we went thither again. On +the occasion of our second visit Mrs. Siddons and my cousin Cecilia were +also Mrs. Kemble's guests, and a lady of the name of H---- S----. She +had been intimate from her childhood in my uncle Kemble's house, and +retained an enthusiastic love for his memory and an affectionate +kindness for his widow, whom she was now visiting on her return to +England. And so I here first knew the dearest friend I have ever known. +The device of her family is "Haut et Bon:" it was her description. She +was about thirty years old when I first met her at Heath Farm; tall and +thin, her figure wanted roundness and grace, but it was straight as a +dart, and the vigorous, elastic, active movements of her limbs, and +firm, fleet, springing step of her beautifully made feet and ankles, +gave to her whole person and deportment a character like that of the +fabled Atalanta, or the huntress Diana herself. Her forehead and eyes +were beautiful. The broad, white, pure expanse surrounded with thick, +short, clustering curls of chestnut hair, and the clear, limpid, bright, +tender gray eyes that always looked radiant with light, and seemed to +reflect radiance wherever they turned, were the eyes and forehead of +Aurora. The rest of her features were not handsome, though her mouth was +full of sensibility and sweetness, and her teeth were the most perfect I +ever saw. She was eccentric in many things, but in nothing more so than +the fashion of her dress, especially the coverings she provided for her +extremities, her hat and boots. The latter were not positively masculine +articles, but were nevertheless made by a man's boot-maker, and there +was only one place in London where they could be made sufficiently ugly +to suit her; and infinite were the pains she took to procure the heavy, +thick, cumbrous, misshapen things that as much as possible concealed and +disfigured her finely turned ankles and high, arched, Norman instep. +Indeed, her whole attire, peculiar (and very ugly, I thought it) as it +was, was so by malice prepense on her part. And whereas the general +result would have suggested a total disregard of the vanities of dress, +no Quaker coquette was ever more jealous of the peculiar texture of the +fabrics she wore, or of the fashion in which they were made. She wore no +colors, black and gray being the only shades I ever saw her in; and her +dress, bare and bald of every ornament, was literally only a covering +for her body; but it was difficult to find cashmere fine enough for her +scanty skirts, or cloth perfect enough for her short spencers, or lawn +clear and exquisite enough for her curious collars and cuffs of +immaculate freshness. + +I remember a similar peculiarity of dress in a person in all other +respects the very antipodes of my friend H----. My mother took me once +to visit a certain Miss W----, daughter of a Stafford banker, her very +dear friend, and the godmother from whom I took my second name of Anne. + +This lady inhabited a quaint, picturesque house in the oldest part of +the town of Stafford. Well do I remember its oak-wainscoted and +oak-paneled chambers, and the fine old oak staircase that led from the +hall to the upper rooms; also the extraordinary abundance and delicacy +of our meals, particularly the old-fashioned nine o'clock supper, about +every item of which, it seemed to me, more was said and thought than +about any food of which I ever before or since partook. It was in this +homely palace of good cheer that a saying originated, which passed into +a proverb with us, expressive of a rather _un_nice indulgence of +appetite. + +One of the ladies, going out one day, called back to the servant who was +closing the door behind her: "Tell the cook not to forget the +sally-lunns" (a species of muffin) "for tea, well greased on both sides, +and we'll put on our cotton gowns to eat them." + +The appearance of the mistress of this mansion of rather obsolete +luxurious comfort was strikingly singular. She was a woman about sixty +years old, tall and large and fat, of what Balzac describes as "un +embonpoint flottant," and was habitually dressed in a white linen +cambric gown, long and tending to train, but as plain and tight as a bag +over her portly middle person and prominent bust; it was finished at the +throat with a school-boy's plaited frill, which stood up round her heavy +falling cheeks by the help of a white muslin or black silk cravat. Her +head was very nearly bald, and the thin, short gray hair lay in distant +streaks upon her skull, white and shiny as an ostrich egg, which on the +rare occasions of her going out, or into her garden, she covered with a +man's straw or beaver hat. + +It is curious how much minor eccentricity the stringent general spirit +of formal conformity allows individuals in England: nowhere else, +scarcely, in civilized Europe, could such a costume be worn in profound, +peaceful defiance of public usage and opinion, with perfect security +from insult or even offensive comment, as that of my mother's old +friend, Miss W----, or my dear H---- S----. In this same Staffordshire +family and its allies eccentricity seemed to prevail alike in life and +death; for I remember hearing frequent mention, while among them, of +connections of theirs who, when they died, one and all desired to be +buried in full dress and with their coffins _standing upright_. + +To return to Heath Farm and my dear H----. Nobility, intelligence, and +tenderness were her predominating qualities, and her person, manner, and +countenance habitually expressed them. + +This lady's intellect was of a very uncommon order; her habits of +thought and reading were profoundly speculative; she delighted in +metaphysical subjects of the greatest difficulty, and abstract questions +of the most laborious solution. On such subjects she incessantly +exercised her remarkably keen powers of analysis and investigation, and +no doubt cultivated and strengthened her peculiar mental faculties and +tendencies by the perpetual processes of metaphysical reasoning which +she pursued. + +Between H---- S---- and myself, in spite of nearly twelve years' +difference in our age, there sprang up a lively friendship, and our time +at Heath Farm was spent in almost constant companionship. We walked and +talked together the livelong day and a good part of the night, in spite +of Mrs. Kemble's judicious precaution of sending us to bed with very +moderate wax candle ends; a prudent provision which we contrived to +defeat by getting from my cousin, Cecilia Siddons, clandestine alms of +fine, long, _life-sized_ candles, placed as mere supernumeraries on the +toilet table of a dressing-room adjoining her mother's bedroom, which +she never used. At this time I also made the acquaintance of my friend's +brother, who came down to Heath Farm to visit Mrs. Kemble and his +sister. He possessed a brilliant intellect, had studied for the bar, and +at the same time made himself favorably known by a good deal of clever +periodical writing; but he died too early to have fully developed his +genius, and left as proofs of his undoubtedly superior talents only a +few powerfully written works of fiction, indicating considerable +abilities, to which time would have given maturity, and more experience +a higher direction. + +Among the principal interests of my London life at this time was the +production at our theater of Weber's opera, "Der Freyschütz." Few +operas, I believe, have had a wider or more prolonged popularity; none +certainly within my recollection ever had any thing approaching it. +Several causes conduced to this effect. The simple pathos of the love +story, and the supernatural element so well blended with it, which gave +such unusual scope to the stage effects of scenery, etc., were two +obvious reasons for its success. + +From the inimitably gay and dramatic laughing chorus and waltz of the +first scene to the divine melody in which the heroine expresses her +unshaken faith in Heaven, immediately before her lover's triumph closes +the piece, the whole opera is a series of exquisite conceptions, hardly +one of which does not contain some theme or passage calculated to catch +the dullest and slowest ear and fix itself on the least retentive +memory; and though the huntsman's and bridesmaid's choruses, of course, +first attained and longest retained a street-organ popularity, there is +not a single air, duet, concerted piece, or chorus, from which extracts +were not seized on and carried away by the least musical memories. So +that the advertisement of a German gentleman for a valet, who to other +necessary qualifications was to add the indispensable one of not being +able to whistle a note of "Der Freyschütz," appeared a not unnatural +result of the universal furor for this music. + +We went to hear it until we literally knew it by heart, and such was my +enthusiasm for it that I contrived to get up a romantic passion for the +great composer, of whom I procured a hideous little engraving (very ugly +he was, and very ugly was his "counterfeit presentment," with high +cheek-bones, long hooked nose, and spectacles), which, folded up in a +small square and sewed into a black silk case, I carried like an amulet +round my neck until I completely wore it out, which was soon after poor +Weber's death. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +The immense success of "Der Freyschütz," and the important assistance it +brought to the funds of the theater, induced my father to propose to +Weber to compose an opera expressly for Covent Garden. The proposal met +with ready acceptance, and the chivalric fairy tale of Wieland's +"Oberon" was selected for the subject, and was very gracefully and +poetically treated by Mr. Planché, to whom the literary part of the +work--the libretto--was confided, and who certainly bestowed as much +pains on the versification of his lyrical drama as if it was not +destined to be a completely secondary object to the music in the public +estimation. Weber himself, however, was by no means a man to disregard +the tenor of the words and characters he was to associate with his +music, and was greatly charmed with his English coadjutor's operatic +version of Wieland's fairy epic. He was invited to come over to London +and himself superintend the production of his new work. + +Representations of "Der Freyschütz" were given on his arrival, and night +after night the theater was crowded to see him preside in the orchestra +and conduct his own fine opera; and the enthusiasm of the London public +rose to fever height. Weber took up his abode at the house of Sir George +Smart, the leader of the Covent Garden orchestra, and our excellent old +friend--a capital musician and very worthy man. He was appointed +organist to King William IV., and for many years directed those +admirable performances of classical music called the Ancient Concerts. + +He was a man of very considerable musical knowledge, and had a peculiar +talent for teaching and accompanying the vocal compositions of Handel. +During the whole of my father's management of Covent Garden, he had the +supervision of the musical representations and conducted the orchestra, +and he was principally instrumental in bringing out Weber's fine operas +of "Der Freyschütz" and "Oberon." Weber continued to reside in Sir +George Smart's house during the whole of his stay in London, and died +there soon after the production of his "Oberon." Sir George Smart was +the first person who presented Mendelssohn to me. I had been acting +Juliet one night, and at the end of the play was raised from the stage +by my kind old friend, who had been in the orchestra during the +performance, with the great composer, then a young man of nineteen, on +his first visit to England. He brought letters of introduction to my +father, and made his first acquaintance with me in my grave-clothes. +Besides my esteem and regard for Sir George's more valuable qualities, I +had a particular liking for some excellent snuff he always had, and used +constantly to borrow his snuff-box to sniff at it like a perfume, not +having attained a sufficiently mature age to venture upon "pinches;" and +a snuff-taking Juliet being inadmissible, I used to wish myself at the +elderly lady age when the indulgence might be becoming: but before I +attained it, snuff was no longer taken by ladies of any age, and now, I +think, it is used by very few men. + +In a letter written to me by my mother, during my temporary absence from +London, just after the accession of King William IV., I find the +following passage with reference to Sir George Smart: + +"London is all alive; the new king seems idolized by the people, and he +appears no less pleased with them; perhaps Sir George is amongst the +happiest of his subjects. His Majesty swears that nothing shall be +encouraged but _native talent_, and our friend is to get up a concert at +the Duke of Sussex's, where the royal family are all to dine, at which +none but English singers are to perform. Sir George dined with me on +Monday, and I perceive he has already arranged in his thoughts all he +proposes _to tell the queen about you_ on this occasion. It is evident +he flatters himself that he is to be deep in her Majesty's confidence." + +Sir George Smart and his distinguished guest, Weber, were constantly at +our house while the rehearsals of "Oberon" went forward. The first day +they dined together at my father's was an event for me, especially as +Sir George, on my entering the room, took me by the hand, and drawing me +toward Weber, assured him that I and all the young girls in England were +over head and ears in love with him. With my guilty satchel round my +neck, I felt ready to sink with confusion, and stammered out something +about Herr von Weber's beautiful music, to which, with a comical, +melancholy smile, he replied, "Ah, my music! it is always my music, but +never myself!" + +Baron Carl Maria von Weber was a noble-born Saxon German, whose very +irregular youth could hardly, one would suppose, have left him leisure +to cultivate or exercise his extraordinary musical genius; but though he +spent much of his early life in wild dissipation, and died in middle +age, he left to the world a mass of compositions of the greatest variety +and beauty, and a name which ranks among the most eminent in his +pre-eminently musical country. He was a little thin man, lame of one +foot, and with a slight tendency to a deformed shoulder. His hollow, +sallow, sickly face bore an expression of habitual suffering and ill +health, and the long, hooked nose, salient cheek-bones, light, prominent +eyes, and spectacles were certainly done no more than justice to in the +unattractive representation of my cherished portrait of him. + +He had the air and manner of a well-born and well-bred man of the world, +a gentle voice, and a slow utterance in English, which he spoke but +indifferently and with a strong accent; he generally conversed with my +father and mother in French. One of the first visits he paid to Covent +Garden was in my mother's box, to hear Miss Paton and Braham (his prima +donna and tenor) in an oratorio. He was enthusiastic in his admiration +of Braham's fine performance of one of Handel's magnificent songs +("Deeper and deeper still," I think), but when, in the second part of +the concert, which consisted of a selection of secular music, the great +singer threw the house into ecstasies, and was tumultuously encored in +the pseudo-Scotch ballad of "Blue Bonnets over the Border," he was +extremely disgusted, and exclaimed two or three times, "Ah, that is +_beast_!" (Ah, cela est bête!) to our infinite diversion. Much more +aggravating proof was poor Weber destined to have of the famous tenor's +love of mere popularity in his art, and strange enough, no doubt, to the +great German composer was the thirst for ignorant applause which induced +Braham to reject the beautiful, tender, and majestic opening air Weber +had written for him in the character of Huon, and insist upon the +writing of a battle-piece which might split the ears of the groundlings +and the gods, and furnish him an opportunity for making some of the +startling effects of lyrical declamation which never failed to carry his +audience by storm. + +No singer ever delivered with greater purity or nobler breadth Handel's +majestic music; the masterly simplicity of his execution of all really +fine compositions was worthy of his first-rate powers; but the desire of +obtaining by easier and less elevated means the acclamations of his +admirers seemed irresistible to him, and "Scots wha hae," with the +flourish of his stick in the last verse, was a sure triumph which he +never disdained. Weber expressed unbounded astonishment and contempt at +this unartistic view of things, and with great reluctance at length +consented to suppress, or rather transfer to the overture, the noble and +pathetic melody designed for Huon's opening song, for which he submitted +the fine warlike cantata beginning-- + + "Oh,'tis a glorious sight to see + The charge of the Christian chivalry!" + +in which, to be sure, Braham charged with the Christians, and routed the +Paynims, and mourned for the wounded, and wept for the dead, and +returned in triumph to France in the joyous cabaletta, with wonderful +dramatic effect, such as, no doubt, the other song would never have +enabled him to produce. But the success of the song did not reconcile +Weber to what he considered the vulgarity and inappropriateness of its +subject, and the circumstance lowered his opinion both of the English +singer and of the English public very grievously. + +How well I remember all the discussions of those prolonged, repeated, +anxious, careful rehearsals, and the comical despair of which Miss +Paton, the heroine of the opera, was the occasion to all concerned, by +the curious absence of dramatic congruity of gesture and action which +she contrived to combine with the most brilliant and expressive +rendering of the music. In the great shipwreck scene, which she sang +magnificently, she caught up the short end of a sash tied around her +waist, and twirled it about without unfastening it, by way of signaling +from the top of a rock for help from a distant vessel, the words she +sang being, "Quick, quick, for a signal this scarf shall be _waved_!" +This performance of hers drew from my father the desperate exclamation, +"That woman's an inspired idiot!" while Weber limped up and down the +room silently wringing his hands, and Sir George Smart went off into +ecstatic reminiscences of a certain performance of my mother's, when--in +some musical arrangement of "Blue Beard" (by Kelly or Storace, I think), +in the part of Sister Anne--she waved and signaled and sang from the +castle wall, "I see them galloping! I see them galloping!" after a very +different fashion, that drew shouts of sympathetic applause from her +hearers. + +Miss Paton married Lord William Lennox, was divorced from her husband +and married Mr. Wood, and pursued her career as a public singer for many +years successfully after this event; nor was her name in any way again +made a subject of public animadversion, though she separated herself +from Mr. Wood, and at one time was said to have entertained thoughts of +going into a Roman Catholic nunnery. Her singing was very admirable, and +her voice one of the finest in quality and compass that I ever heard. +The effects she produced on the stage were very remarkable, considering +the little intellectual power or cultivation she appeared to possess. My +father's expression of "an inspired idiot," though wrung from him by the +irritation of momentary annoyance, was really not inapplicable to her. +She sang with wonderful power and pathos her native Scotch ballads, she +delivered with great purity and grandeur the finest soprano music of +Handel, and though she very nearly drove poor Weber mad with her +apparent want of intelligence during the rehearsals of his great opera, +I have seldom heard any thing finer than her rendering of the difficult +music of the part of Reiza, from beginning to end, and especially the +scene of the shipwreck, with its magnificent opening recitative, "Ocean, +thou mighty monster!" + +"Oberon" was brought out and succeeded; but in a degree so far below the +sanguine expectations of all concerned, that failure itself, though more +surprising, would hardly have been a greater disappointment than the +result achieved at such a vast expenditure of money, time, and labor. +The expectations of the public could not have been realized by any work +which was to be judged by comparison with their already permanent +favorite, "Der Freyschütz." No second effort could have seemed any thing +but second-best, tried by the standard of that popular production; and +whatever judgment musicians and connoisseurs might pronounce as to the +respective merits of the two operas, the homely test of the "proof of +the pudding" being "in the eating" was decidedly favorable to the +master's earlier work; and my own opinion is, that either his +"Euryanthe" or his "Preciosa" would have been more popular with the +general English public than the finer and more carefully elaborated +music of "Oberon." The story of the piece (always a main consideration +in matters of art, with average English men and women) wanted interest, +certainly, as compared with that of its predecessor; the chivalric loves +and adventures of Huon of Bordeaux and the caliph's daughter were +indifferent to the audience, compared with the simple but deep interest +of the fortunes of the young German forester and his village bride; and +the gay and brilliant fairy element of the "Oberon" was no sort of +equivalent for the startling _diablerie_ of Zamiel, and the incantation +scene. The music, undoubtedly of a higher order than that of "Der +Freyschütz," was incomparably more difficult and less popular. The whole +of the part of Reiza was trying in the extreme, even to the powers of +the great singer for whom it was written, and quite sure not to be a +favorite with prime donne from its excessive strain upon the voice, +particularly in what is the weaker part of almost all soprano registers; +and Reiza's first great aria, the first song of the fairy king, and +Huon's last song in the third act, are all compositions of which the +finest possible execution must always be without proportionate effect on +any audience, from the extreme difficulty of rendering them and their +comparative want of melody. By amateurs, out of Germany, the performance +of any part of the music was not likely ever to be successfully +attempted; and I do not think that a single piece in the opera found +favor with the street organists, though the beautiful opening chorus was +made into a church hymn by discarding the exquisite aerial fairy +symphonies and accompaniments; and the involuntary dance of the caliph's +court and servants at the last blast of the magical horn was for a short +time a favorite waltz in Germany. + +Poor Weber's health, which had been wretched before he came to England, +and was most unfavorably affected by the climate, sank entirely under +the mortification of the comparatively small success of his great work. +He had labored and fretted extremely with the rehearsals, and very soon +after its production he became dangerously ill, and died--not, as people +said, of a broken heart, but of disease of the lungs, already far +advanced when he came to London, and doubtless accelerated by these +influences. He died in Sir George Smart's house, who gave me, as a +memorial of the great composer whom I had so enthusiastically admired, a +lock of his hair, and the opening paragraph of his will, which was +extremely touching and impressive in its wording. + +The plaintive melody known as "Weber's Waltz" (said to have been his +last composition, found after his death under his pillow) was a tribute +to his memory by some younger German composer (Reichardt or Ries); but +though not his own, it owed much of its popularity to his name, with +which it will always be associated. Bellini transferred the air, +verbatim, into his opera of "Beatrice di Tenda," where it appears in her +song beginning, "Orombello, ah Sciagurato!" A circumstance which tended +to embitter a good deal the close of Weber's life was the arrival in +London of Rossini, to whom and to whose works the public immediately +transferred its demonstrations of passionate admiration with even more, +than its accustomed fickleness. Disparaging comparisons and contrasts to +Weber's disadvantage were drawn between the two great composers in the +public prints; the enthusiastic adulation of society and the great world +not unnaturally followed the brilliant, joyous, sparkling, witty +Italian, who was a far better subject for London _lionizing_ than his +sickly, sensitive, shrinking, and rather soured German competitor for +fame and public favor. + +The proud, morbid sensitiveness of the Northern genius was certainly in +every respect the very antipodes of the healthy, robust, rejoicing, +artistic nature of the Southern. + +No better instance, though a small one, perhaps, could be given of the +tone and temper in which Rossini was likely to encounter both adverse +criticism and the adulation of amateur idolatry, than his reply to the +Duchess of Canizzaro, one of his most fanatical worshipers, who asked +him which he considered his best comic opera; when, with a burst of +joyous laughter, he named "Il Matrimonio Secreto," Cimarosa's enchanting +_chef-d'oeuvre_, from which, doubtless, Rossini, after the fashion of +great geniuses, had accepted more than one most felicitous suggestion, +especially that of the admirable finale to the second act of the +"Barbiere." It was during this visit of his to London, while Weber lay +disappointed and dying in the dingy house in Great Portland Street, that +this same Duchess of Canizzaro, better known by her earlier title of +Countess St. Antonio, as a prominent leader of fashionable taste in +musical matters, invited all the great and gay and distinguished world +of London to meet the famous Italian composer; and, seated in her +drawing-room with the Duke of Wellington and Rossini on either side of +her, exclaimed, "Now I am between the two greatest men in Europe." The +Iron Duke not unnaturally rose and left his chair vacant; the great +genius retained his, but most assuredly not without humorous +appreciation of the absurdity of the whole scene, for he was almost +"plus fin que tous les autres," and certainly "bien plus fin que tous +_ces_ autres." + +About this time I returned again to visit Mrs. Kemble at Heath Farm, and +renew my days of delightful companionship with H---- S----. Endless were +our walks and talks, and those were very happy hours in which, loitering +about Cashiobury Park, I made its echoes ring with the music of +"Oberon," singing it from beginning to end--overture, accompaniment, +choruses, and all; during which performances my friend, who was no +musician, used to keep me company in sympathetic silence, reconciled by +her affectionate indulgence for my enthusiasm to this utter postponement +of sense to sound. What with her peculiar costume and my bonnetless head +(I always carried my bonnet in my hand when it was possible to do so) +and frenzied singing, any one who met us might have been justified in +supposing we had escaped from the nearest lunatic asylum. + +Occasionally we varied our rambles, and one day we extended them so far +that the regular luncheon hour found us at such a distance from home, +that I--hungry as one is at sixteen after a long tramp--peremptorily +insisted upon having food; whereupon my companion took me to a small +roadside ale-house, where we devoured bread and cheese and drank beer, +and while thus vulgarly employed beheld my aunt's carriage drive past +the window. If that worthy lady could have seen us, that bread and +cheese which was giving us life would inevitably have been her death; +she certainly would have had a stroke of apoplexy (what the French call +_foudroyante_), for gentility and propriety were the breath of life to +her, and of the highest law of both, which can defy conventions, she +never dreamed. + +Another favorite indecorum of mine (the bread and cheese was mere mortal +infirmity, not moral turpitude) was wading in the pretty river that ran +through Lord Clarendon's place, the Grove; the brown, clear, shallow, +rapid water was as tempting as a highland brook, and I remember its +bright, flashing stream and the fine old hawthorn trees of the avenue, +alternate white and rose-colored, like clouds of fragrant bloom, as one +of the sunniest pictures of those sweet summer days. + +The charm and seduction of bright water has always been irresistible to +me, a snare and a temptation I have hardly ever been able to withstand; +and various are the chances of drowning it has afforded me in the wild +mountain brooks of Massachusetts. I think a very attached maid of mine +once saved my life by the tearful expostulations with which she opposed +the bewitching invitations of the topaz-colored flashing rapids of +Trenton Falls, that looked to me in some parts so shallow, as well as so +bright, that I was just on the point of stepping into them, charmed by +the exquisite confusion of musical voices with which they were +persuading me, when suddenly a large tree-trunk of considerable weight +shot down their flashing surface and was tossed over the fall below, +leaving me to the natural conclusion, "Just such a log should I have +been if I had gone in there." Indeed, my worthy Marie, overcome by my +importunity, having selected what seemed to her a safe, and to me a very +tame, bathing-place, in another and quieter part of the stream, I had +every reason, from my experience of the difficulty of withstanding its +powerful current there, to congratulate myself upon not having tried the +experiment nearer to one of the "springs" of the lovely torrent, whose +Indian name is the "Leaping Water." Certainly the pixies--whose cousin +my friends accused me of being, on account of my propensity for their +element--if they did not omit any opportunity of alluring me, allowed me +to escape scathless on more than one occasion, when I might have paid +dearly for being so much or so little related to them. + +This fascination of living waters for me was so well known among my +Lenox friends of all classes, that on one occasion a Yankee Jehu of our +village, driving some of them by the side of a beautiful mountain brook, +said, "I guess we should hardly have got Mrs. Kemble on at all, +alongside of this stream," as if I had been a member of his _team_, made +restive by the proximity of water. A pool in a rocky basin, with foaming +water dashing in and out of it, was a sort of trap for me, and I have +more than once availed myself of such a shower-bath, without any further +preparation than taking my hat and shoes and stockings off. Once, on a +visit to the Catskills, during a charming summer walk with my dear +friend, Catherine Sedgwick, I walked into the brook we were coasting, +and sat down in the water, without at all interrupting the thread of our +conversation; a proceeding which, of course, obliged me to return to the +hotel dripping wet, my companion laughing so immoderately at my +appearance, that, as I represented to her, it was quite impossible for +me to make anybody believe that I had met with an accident and _fallen_ +into the water, which was the impression I wished (in the interest of my +reputation for sanity) to convey to such spectators as we might +encounter. + +On another occasion, coming over the Wengern Alp from Grindelwald one +sultry summer day, my knees were shaking under me with the steep and +prolonged descent into Lauterbrunnen. Just at the end of the wearisome +downward way an exquisite brook springs into the Lutschine, as it flies +through the valley of waterfalls, and into this I walked straight, to +the consternation of my guides and dear companion, a singularly +dignified little American lady, of Quaker descent and decorum, who was +quite at a loss to conceive how, after such an exploit, I was to present +myself to the inhabitants, tourists, and others of the little street and +its swarming hotels, in my drenched and dripping condition; but, as I +represented to her, nothing would be easier: "I shall get on my mule and +ride sprinkling along, and people will only say, 'Ah, cette pauvre dame! +qui est tombée à l'eau!'" + +My visit to my aunt Kemble was prolonged beyond the stay of my friend +H----, and I was left alone at Heath Farm. My walks were, of course, +circumscribed, and the whole complexion of my life much changed by my +being given over to lonely freedom limited only by the bounds of our +pleasure-grounds, and my living converse with my friend exchanged for +unrestricted selection from my aunt's book-shelves; from which I made a +choice of extreme variety, since Lord Byron and Jeremy Taylor were among +the authors with whom I then first made acquaintance, my school +introduction to the former having been followed up by no subsequent +intimacy. + +I read them on alternate days, sitting on the mossy-cushioned lawn, +under a beautiful oak tree, with a cabbage-leaf full of fresh-gathered +strawberries and a handful of fresh-blown roses beside me, which +Epicurean accompaniments to my studies appeared to me equally adapted to +the wicked poet and the wise divine. Mrs. Kemble in no way interfered +with me, and was quite unconscious of the subjects of my studies; she +thought me generally "a very odd girl," but though I occasionally took a +mischievous pleasure in perplexing her by fantastical propositions, to +which her usual reply was a rather acrimonious "Don't be absurd, Fanny," +she did not at all care to investigate my oddity, and left me to my own +devices. + +Among her books I came upon Wraxall's "Memoirs of the House of Valois," +and, reading it with great avidity, determined to write an historical +novel, of which the heroine should be Françoise de Foix, the beautiful +Countess de Châteaubriand. At this enterprise I now set eagerly to work, +the abundant production of doggerel suffering no diminution from this +newer and rather soberer literary undertaking, to which I added a brisk +correspondence with my absent friend, and a task she had set me (perhaps +with some vague desire of giving me a little solid intellectual +occupation) of copying for her sundry portions of "Harris's Hermes;" a +most difficult and abstruse grammatical work, much of which was in +Latin, not a little in Greek. All these I faithfully copied, Chinese +fashion, understanding the English little better than the two dead +languages which I transcribed--the Greek without much difficulty, owing +to my school-day proficiency in the alphabet of that tongue. These +literary exercises, walks within bounds, drives with my aunt, and the +occasional solemnity of a dinner at Lord Essex's, were the events of my +life till my aunt, Mrs. Whitelock, came to Heath Farm and brought an +element of change into the procession of our days. + +I think these two widowed ladies had entertained some notion that they +might put their solitude together and make society; but the experiment +did not succeed, and was soon judiciously abandoned, for certainly two +more hopelessly dissimilar characters never made the difficult +experiment of a life in common. + +Mrs. Kemble, before she went to Switzerland, had lived in the best +London society, with which she kept up her intercourse by zealous +correspondence; the names of lords and ladies were familiar in her mouth +as household words, and she had undoubtedly an undue respect for +respectability and reverence for titled folk; yet she was not at all +superficially a vulgar woman. She was quick, keen, clever, and shrewd, +with the air, manner, dress, and address of a finished woman of the +world. Mrs. Whitelock was simple-hearted and single-minded, had never +lived in any English society whatever, and retorted but feebly the +fashionable gossip of the day which reached Mrs. Kemble through the +London post, with her transatlantic reminiscences of Prince Talleyrand +and General Washington. She was grotesque in her manner and appearance, +and a severe thorn in the side of her conventionally irreproachable +companion, who has been known, on the approach of some coroneted +carriage, to observe pointedly, "Mrs. Whitelock, there is an +_ekkipage_." "I see it, ma'am," replied the undaunted Mrs. Whitelock, +screwing up her mouth and twirling her thumbs in a peculiarly emphatic +way, to which she was addicted in moments of crisis. Mrs. Kemble, who +was as quick as Pincher in her movements, rang the bell and snapped out, +"Not at home!" denying herself her stimulating dose of high-life gossip, +and her companion what she would have called a little "genteel +sociability," rather than bring face to face her fine friends and Mrs. +Whitelock's flounced white muslin apron and towering Pamela cap, for she +still wore such things. I have said that Mrs. Kemble was not +(superficially) a vulgar woman, but it would have taken the soul of +gentility to have presented, without quailing, her amazingly odd +companion to her particular set of visitors. A humorist would have found +his account in the absurdity of the scene all round; and Jane Austen +would have made a delicious chapter of it; but Mrs. Kemble had not the +requisite humor to perceive the fun of her companion, her acquaintances, +and herself in juxtaposition. I have mentioned her mode of pronouncing +the word equipage, which, together with several similar peculiarities +that struck me as very odd, were borrowed from the usage of London good +society in the days when she frequented it. My friend, Lord Lansdowne, +never called London any thing but _Lunnon_, and always said _obleege_ +for oblige, like the Miss Berrys and Mrs. F---- and other of their +contemporaries, who also said _ekkipage_, _pettikits_, _divle_. Since +their time the pronunciation of English in good society, whose usage is +the only acknowledged law in that matter, and the grammatical +construction of the language habitual in that same good society, has +become such as would have challenged the severest criticism, if we had +ventured upon it in my father's house. + +The unsuccessful partnership of my aunts was dissolved. Mrs. Kemble +found the country intolerably dull, declared that the grass and trees +made her sick, and fixed her abode in Leamington, then a small, +unpretending, pretty country town, which (principally on account of the +ability, reputation, and influence of its celebrated and popular +resident physician, Dr. Jephson) was a sort of aristocratic-invalid Kur +Residenz, and has since expanded into a thriving, populous, showy, +semi-fashionable, Anglo-American watering-place in summer, and +hunting-place in winter. Mrs. Kemble found the Leamington of her day a +satisfactory abode; the Æsculapius, whose especial shrine it was, became +her intimate friend; the society was comparatively restricted and +select; and the neighborhood, with Warwick Castle, Stoneleigh Abbey, and +Guy's Cliff, full of state and ancientry, within a morning's drive, was +(which she cared less for) lovely in every direction. Mrs. Whitelock +betook herself to a really rural life in a cottage in the beautiful +neighborhood of Addlestone, in Surrey, where she lived in much simple +content, bequeathing her small mansion and estate, at her death, to my +mother, who passed there the last two years of her life and died there. +I never returned to Heath Farm again; sometimes, as I steam by Watford, +the image of the time I spent there rises again before me, but I pass +from it at forty miles an hour, and it passed from me upwards of forty +years ago. + +We were now occupying the last of the various houses which for a series +of years we inhabited at Bayswater; it belonged to a French Jew diamond +seller, and was arranged and fitted up with the peculiar tastefulness +which seems innate across the Channel, and inimitable even on the +English side of it. There was one peculiarity in the drawing-room of +this house which I have always particularly liked: a low chimney with a +window over it, the shutter to which was a sliding panel of +looking-glass, so that both by day and candle light the effect was +equally pretty. + +At this time I was promoted to the dignity of a bedroom "to myself," +which I was able to make into a small study, the privacy of which I +enjoyed immensely, as well as the window opening above our suburban bit +of garden, and the sloping meadows beyond it. The following letters, +written at this time to my friend Miss S----, describe the interests and +occupations of my life. It was in the May of 1827. I was between sixteen +and seventeen, which will naturally account for the characteristics of +these epistles. + + BAYSWATER, May, 1827. + DEAR H----: + + I fear you will think me forgetful and unkind in not having + answered your last letter; but if you do, you are mistaken--nor + ungrateful, which my silence, after the kind interest you have + taken in me and mine, seems to be. But when I tell you that besides + the many things that have occupied my mind connected with the + present situation of our affairs, my hands have been full of work + nearly as dismal as my thoughts--mourning--you will easily + understand and excuse the delay. + + Do not be alarmed; the person for whom we are in black has been so + little known to me since my childhood, was so old and infirm, and + so entirely cheerful, resigned, and even desirous of leaving this + world, that few, even of those who knew and loved him better than I + did, could, without selfishness, lament his release. Mr. Twiss, the + father of my cousin Horace, is dead lately; and it is of him that I + speak. He has unfortunately left three daughters, who, though doing + well for themselves in the world, will now feel a sad void in the + circle of their home affections and interests. + + And now, dear H----, for myself, or ourselves, rather; for, as you + may well suppose, my whole thoughts are taken up with our + circumstances. + + I believe in my last I told you pretty nearly all I knew, or indeed + any of us knew, of our affairs; the matter is now much clearer, and + not a whit pleasanter. + + It seems that my father, as proprietor of Covent Garden Theater, in + consequence of this lawsuit and the debts which encumber the + concern, is liable at any time to be called upon for twenty-seven + thousand pounds; which, for a man who can not raise five thousand, + is not a pleasant predicament. On the other hand, Mr. Harris, our + adversary, and joint proprietor with my father, is also liable to + enormous demands, if the debts should be insisted upon at present. + + The creditors have declared that they are entirely satisfied that + my father, and Messrs. Forbes and Willett, the other partners, have + done every thing with respect to them which honorable men could do, + and offer to wait till some compromise can be made with Mr. Harris, + who, it is thought, will be willing to enter into any arrangement + rather than be irretrievably ruined, as we all must be unless some + agreement takes place between the proprietors. In the meantime, the + lawyers have advised our party to appeal from the decision of the + Vice-Chancellor. Amid all this perplexity and trouble, we have had + the satisfaction of hearing that John and Henry are both doing + well; we received a letter from the latter a short time ago, full + of affection and kindness to us all. I wish you could have seen my + father's countenance as he read it, and with what fondness and + almost gratitude he kissed dear Henry's name, while the tears were + standing in his eyes. I can not help thinking sometimes that my + father deserved a less hard and toilsome existence. + + He has resolved that, come what may, he will keep those boys at + their respective schools, if he can by any means compass it; and if + (which I fear is the case) he finds Bury St. Edmunds too expensive, + we shall remove to Westminster, in order that Henry's education may + not suffer from our circumstances. Last Thursday was my father's + benefit, and a very indifferent one, which I think is rather hard, + considering that he really slaves night and day, and every night + and every day, in that theater. Cecilia Siddons and I have opened a + poetical correspondence; she writes very prettily indeed. Perhaps, + had she not had such a bad subject as myself to treat of, I might + have said more of her verses. You will be sorry to hear that not + only my poor mother's health, but what is almost as precious, her + good spirits, have been dreadfully affected by all her anxiety; + indeed, her nerves have been so utterly deranged that she has been + alternately deaf and blind, and sometimes both, for the last + fortnight. Thank Heaven she is now recovering! + + + CRAVEN HILL, BAYSWATER, May, 1827. + MY DEAREST H----: + + I received your letter the day before yesterday, and felt very much + obliged to you for it, and was particularly interested by your + description of Kenilworth, round which Walter Scott's admirable + novel has cast a halo of romance forever; for many who would have + cared little about it as the residence of Leicester, honored for + some days by the presence of Elizabeth, will remember with a thrill + of interest and pity the night poor Amy Robsart passed there, and + the scene between her, Leicester, and the queen, when that prince + of villains, Varney, claims her as his wife. But in spite of the + romantic and historical associations belonging to the place, I do + not think it would have "inspired my muse." + + Of our affairs I know nothing, except that we are going to remove + to Westminster, on account of Henry's schooling, as soon as we can + part with this house. + + You will be glad to hear that my mother is a great deal better, + though still suffering from nervousness. She desires to be most + kindly remembered to you and to my aunt Kemble, and would feel very + much obliged to you if you can get from Mrs. Kemble the name and + address of the man who built her pony carriage. Do this, and send + it in the next letter you write to me, which must be long, but not + "long a-coming." + + I am glad you like Miss W----, but take care not to like her better + than me; and I am very glad you think of Heath Farm sometimes, for + there, I know, I must be in some corner or other of the picture, be + the foreground what it may. At this time, when the hawthorn is all + out and the nightingales are singing, even here, I think of the + quantities of May we gathered for my wreaths, and the little scrap + of the nightingale's song we used to catch on the lawn between tea + and bedtime. I have been writing a great deal of poetry--at least I + mean it for such, and I hope it is not all very bad, as my father + has expressed himself surprised and pleased at some things I read + him lately. I wish I could send you some of my perpetrations, but + they are for the most part so fearfully long that it is impossible. + You ask about my uncle's monument: I can tell you nothing about it + at present; it is where the memory of the public, the perseverance + of the projectors, Flaxman's genius, and John Kemble's fame are. Do + you know where that is? No more do I. + + + CRAVEN HILL, BAYSWATER, June 8, 1827. + MY DEAR H----: + + I am sure you will rejoice with us all when I inform you that John + has at length exerted himself successfully, and has obtained one of + the highest literary honors conferred by Cambridge on its students: + these are his tutor's very words, therefore I leave you to imagine + how delighted and grateful we all are; indeed, the day we received + the intelligence, we all, with my father at our head, looked more + like hopeful candidates for Bedlam than any thing else. My poor + father jumped, and clapped his hands, and kissed the letter, like a + child; as my mother says, "I am glad he has one gleam of sunshine, + at least;" he sadly wanted it, and I know nothing that could have + given him so much pleasure. Pray tell my aunt Kemble of it. I dare + say she will be glad to hear it. [My brother's tutor was Mr. + Peacock, the celebrated mathematician, well known at Cambridge as + one of the most eminent members of the university, and a private + tutor of whom all his pupils were deservedly proud; even those who, + like my brother John, cultivated the classical studies in + preference to the severe scientific subjects of which Mr. Peacock + was so illustrious a master. His praise of my brother was + regretful, though most ungrudging, for his own sympathy was + entirely with the intellectual pursuits for which Cambridge was + peculiarly famous, as the mathematical university, in + contradistinction to the classical tendency supposed to prevail at + this time among the teachers and students of Oxford.] + + And now let me thank you for your last long letter, and the + detailed criticism it contained of my lines; if they oftener passed + through such a wholesome ordeal, I should probably scribble less + than I do. You ask after my novel of "Françoise de Foix," and my + translation of Sismondi's History; the former may, perhaps, be + finished some time these next six years; the latter is, and has + been, in Dr. Malkin's hands ever since I left Heath Farm. What you + say of scriptural subjects I do not always think true; for + instance, "By the waters of Babylon we sat down and wept," does not + appear to me to have lost much beauty by Byron's poetical + paraphrase. We are really going to leave this pleasant place, and + take up our abode in Westminster; how I shall regret my dear little + room, full of flowers and books, and with its cheerful view. Enfin + il n'y faut plus penser. I have, luckily, the faculty of easily + accommodating myself to circumstances, and though sorry to leave my + little hermitage, I shall soon take root in the next place. With + all my dislike to moving, my great wish is to travel; but perhaps + that is not an absolute inconsistency, for what I wish is never to + remain long enough in a place to take root, or, having done so, + never to be transplanted. I am writing a journal, and its pages, + like our many pleasant hours of conversation, are a whimsical + medley of the sad, the sober, the gay, the good, the bad, and the + ridiculous; not at all the sort of serious, solemn journal you + would write. + + + CRAVEN HILL, BAYSWATER, ----, 1827. + MY DEAREST H----: + + I am afraid you are wondering once more whether I have the gout in + my hands; but so many circumstances have latterly arisen to occupy + my time and attention that I have had but little leisure for + letter-writing. You are now once more comfortably re-established in + your little turret chamber [Miss S----'s room in her home, + Ardgillan Castle], which I intend to come and storm some day, + looking over your pleasant lawn to the beautiful sea and hills. I + ought to envy you, and yet, when I look round my own little + snuggery, which is filled with roses and the books I love, and + where not a ray of sun penetrates, though it is high noon and + burning hot, I only envy you your own company, which I think would + be a most agreeable addition to the pleasantness of my little room. + I am sadly afraid, however, that I shall soon be called upon to + leave it, for though our plans are still so unsettled as to make it + quite impossible to say what will be our destination, it is, I + think, almost certain that we shall leave this place. + + We have had Mrs. Henry Siddons, with her youngest daughter, staying + with us for a short time; she is now going on through Paris to + Switzerland, on account of my cousin's delicate health, which + renders Scotland an unsafe residence for her. John is also at home + just now, which, as you may easily believe, is an invaluable gain + to me; I rather think, however, that my mother is not of that + opinion, for he talks and thinks of nothing but politics, and she + has a great dread of my becoming imbued with his mania; a needless + fear, I think, however, for though I am willing and glad to listen + to his opinions and the arguments of his favorite authors, I am + never likely to study them myself, and my interest in the whole + subject will cease with his departure for Cambridge. + + Henry returned from Bury St. Edmunds, and my father left us for + Lancaster last night, and we are now in daily expectation of + departing for Weybridge, so that the last fortnight has been one + continual bustle. + + I have had another reason for not writing to you, which I have only + just made up my mind to tell you. Dick ---- has been taking my + likeness, or rather has begun to do so. I thought, dear H----, that + you would like to have this sketch, and I was in hopes that the + first letter you received in Ireland from me would contain it; but, + alas! Dick is as inconstant and capricious as a genius need be, and + there lies my fac-simile in a state of non-conclusion; they all + tell me it is very like, but it does appear to me so pretty that I + am divided between satisfaction and incredulity. My father, I + lament to say, left us last night in very bad spirits. I never saw + him so depressed, and feared that my poor mother would suffer + to-day from her anxiety about him; however, she is happily pretty + well to-day, and I trust will soon, what with Weybridge and + pike-fishing, recover her health and spirits entirely. + + I suspect this will be the last summer we shall spend at Weybridge, + as we are going to give our cottage up, I believe. I shall regret + it extremely for my mother; it is agreeable to and very good for + her. I do not care much about it for myself; indeed, I care very + little where I go; I do not like leaving any place, but the tie of + habit, which is quickly formed and strong in me, once broken, I can + easily accommodate myself to the next change, which, however, I + always pray may be the last. My mother and myself had yesterday a + serious, and to me painful, conversation on the necessity of not + only not hating society, but tolerating and mixing in it. She and + my father have always been disinclined to it, but their + disinclination has descended to me in the shape of active dislike, + and I feel sometimes inclined to hide myself, to escape sitting + down and communing with my fellow-creatures after the fashion that + calls itself social intercourse. I can't help fancying (which, + however, _may_ be a great mistake) that the hours spent in my own + room reading and writing are better employed than if devoted to + people and things in which I feel no interest whatever, and do not + know how to pretend the contrary. + + I must do justice to my mother, however, for any one more + reasonable, amiable, and kind, in this as in most respects, can not + exist than herself; but nevertheless, when I went to bed last night + I sat by my open window, looking at the moon and thinking of my + social duties, and then scribbled endless doggerel in a highly + Byronic mood to deliver my mind upon the subject, after which, + feeling amazingly better, I went to bed and slept profoundly, + satisfied that I had given "society" a death-blow. But really, + jesting apart, the companionship of my own family--those I live + with, I mean--satisfies me entirely, and I have not the least + desire for any other. + + Good-by, my dearest H----; do not punish me for not writing sooner + by not answering this for two months; but be a nice woman and write + very soon to yours ever, + + FANNY. + + P.S.--I am reading the memoirs of Mademoiselle de Montpensier, la + Grande Mademoiselle, written by herself: if you never read them, + do; they are very interesting and amusing. + +The "Dick" mentioned in this letter was the nephew of my godmother, Miss +A---- W----, of Stafford, and son of Colonel ----, a Staffordshire +gentleman of moderate means, who went to Germany and settled at +Darmstadt, for the sake of giving a complete education in foreign +languages and accomplishments to his daughters. His eldest son was in +the Church. They resided at the little German court till the young girls +became young women, remarkable for their talents and accomplishments. In +the course of their long residence at Darmstadt they had become intimate +with the reigning duke and his family, whose small royalty admitted of +such friendly familiarity with well-born and well-bred foreigners. But +when Colonel ---- brought his wife and daughters back to England, like +most other English people who try a similar experiment, the change from +being decided _somebodies_ in the court circle of a German principality +(whose sovereign was chiefly occupied, it is true, with the government +of his opera-house) to being decided _nobodies_ in the huge mass of +obscure, middle-class English gentility, was all but intolerable to +them. + +The peculiar gift of their second son, my eccentric friend Richard, was +a genius for painting, which might have won him an honored place among +English artists, had he ever chosen to join their ranks as a competitor +for fame and fortune. + + EASTLANDS COTTAGE, WEYBRIDGE, ----, 1827. + MY DEAR H----: + + I wrote to you immediately upon our arriving here, which is now + nearly a month ago, but having received no answer, and not having + heard from you for some time, I conjecture that our charming + post-office has done as it did last year, and kept my letters to + itself. I therefore take the opportunity, which my brother's + departure for town to-morrow gives me, of writing to you and having + my letter posted in London. John's going to town is an extreme loss + to me, for here we are more thrown together and companionable than + we can be in London. His intellectual occupations and interests + engross him very much, and though always very interesting to me, + are seldom discussed with or communicated to me as freely there as + they are here--I suppose for want of better fellowship. I have + latterly, also, summoned up courage enough to request him to walk + with me; and to my some surprise and great satisfaction, instead of + the "I can't, I am really so busy," he has acquiesced, and we have + had one or two very pleasant long strolls together. He is certainly + a very uncommon person, and I admire, perhaps too enthusiastically, + his great abilities. + + My father is in Paris, where he was to arrive yesterday, and where + to-morrow he will act in the first regularly and decently organized + English theater that the French ever saw. He is very nervous, and + we, as you may easily conceive, very anxious about it; when next I + write to you I will let you know all that we hear of the result. I + must repeat some part of my last letter, in case you did not + receive it. We have taken a house in James Street, Buckingham Gate, + Westminster, which appears to be in every way a desirable and + convenient abode; in itself it is comfortable and cheerful, and its + nearness to Henry's school and comparative nearness to the theatre, + together with its view over the park, and (though last, not least) + its moderate rent, make up a mass of combined advantages which few + other situations that we could afford can present. + + I am extremely busy, dearest H----, and extremely elated about my + play; I know I mentioned it before to you, but you may have + reckoned it as one of the soap-bubbles which I am so fond of + blowing, admiring, and forgetting; however, when I tell you that I + have finished three acts of it, and that the proprietors of Covent + Garden have offered me, if it succeeds, two hundred pounds (the + price Miss Mitford's "Foscari" brought her), you will agree that I + have some reason to be proud as well as pleased. + + As nobody but myself can give you any opinion of it, you must be + content to take my own, making all allowances for etc., etc., etc. + I think, irrespective of age or sex, it is not a bad play--perhaps, + considering both, a tolerably fair one; there is some good writing + in it, and good situations; the latter I owe to suggestions of my + mother's, who is endowed with what seems to me really a science by + itself, i.e. the knowledge of producing dramatic effect; more + important to a playwright than even true delineation of character + or beautiful poetry, in spite of what Alfieri says: "Un attore che + dirà bene, delle cose belle si farà ascoltare per forza." But the + "ben dire cose belle" will not make a play without striking + situations and effects succeed, for all that; at any rate with an + English audience of the present day. Moreover (but this, as well as + everything about my play, must be _entre nous_ for the present), my + father has offered me either to let me sell my play to a + bookseller, or to buy it for the theatre at fifty pounds. + + Fifty pounds is the very utmost that any bookseller would give for + a successful play, _mais en revanche_, by selling my play to the + theater it cannot be read or known as a literary work, and as to + make a name for myself as a writer is the aim of my ambition, I + think I shall decline his offer. My dearest H----, this quantity + about myself and my pursuits will, I am afraid, appear very + egotistical to you, but I rely on your unchangeable affection for + me to find some interest in what is interesting me so much. + + Always you most affectionate + FANNY. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +The success of the English theater in Paris was quite satisfactory; and +all the most eminent members of the profession--Kean, Young, Macready, +and my father--went over in turn to exhibit to the Parisian public +Shakespeare the Barbarian, illustrated by his barbarian +fellow-countrymen. I do not remember hearing of any very eminent actress +joining in that worthy enterprise; but Miss Smithson, a young lady with +a figure and face of Hibernian beauty, whose superfluous native accent +was no drawback to her merits in the esteem of her French audience, +represented to them the heroines of the English tragic drama; the +incidents of which, infinitely more startling than any they were used +to, invested their fair victim with an amazing power over her foreign +critics, and she received from them, in consequence, a rather +disproportionate share of admiration--due, perhaps, more to the +astonishing circumstances in which she appeared before them than to the +excellence of her acting under them. + +One of the most enthusiastic admirers of the English representations +said to my father, "Ah! parlez moi d'Othello! voilà, voilà la passion, +la tragédie. Dieu! que j'aime cette pièce! il y a tant de +_remue-ménage_." + +A few rash and superficial criticisms were hardly to be avoided; but in +general, my father has often said, in spite of the difficulty of the +foreign language, and the strangeness of the foreign form of thought and +feeling and combination of incident, his Parisian audience never +appeared to him to miss the finer touches or more delicate and refined +shades of his acting; and in this respect he thought them superior to +his own countrymen. Lamartine and Victor Hugo had already proclaimed the +enfranchisement of French poetical thought from the rigid rule of +classical authority; and all the enthusiastic believers in the future +glories of the "Muse Romantique" went to the English theater, to be +amazed, if not daunted, by the breadth of horizon and height of empyrean +which her wings might sweep, and into which she might soar, "puisque +Shakespeare l'a bien osé." + + ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, October 11, 1827, + MY DEAREST H----, + + I do not think you would have been surprised at my delay in + answering your last, when I told you that on arriving here I found + that all my goods and chattels had been (according to my own + desire) only removed hither, and that their arrangement and + bestowal still remained to be effected by myself; and when I tell + you that I have settled all these matters, and moreover _finished + my play_, I think you will excuse my not having answered you + sooner. Last Monday, having in the morning achieved the termination + of the fourth act, and finding that my father did not act on + Tuesday, I resolved, if possible, to get it finished in order to + read it to him on Tuesday evening. So on Monday evening at six + o'clock I sat down to begin my fifth act, and by half-past eleven + had completed my task; I am thus minute because I know you will not + think these details tiresome, and also because, even if it succeeds + and is praised and admired, I shall never feel so happy as when my + father greeted my entrance into the drawing-room with, "Is it done, + my love? I shall be the happiest man alive if it succeeds!" + + On Tuesday evening I read it to them, and I was so encouraged by + the delighted looks my father and mother were continually + exchanging, that I believe I read it with more effect than they + either of them had thought me capable of. When it was done I was + most richly rewarded, for they all seemed so pleased with me and so + proud of me, that the most inordinate author's vanity would have + been satisfied. And my dear mother, oh, how she looked at + me!--forgive me, dear, and grant some little indulgence to my + exultation. I thought I deserved some praise, but thrice my deserts + were showered upon me by those I love above everything in the + world. + + When commendation and congratulation had a little given way to + reflection, my mother and John entreated my father not to let the + play be acted, or, if he did, to have it published first; for they + said (and their opinion has been sanctioned by several literary + men) that the work as a literary production (I repeat what they + say, mind) has merit enough to make it desirable that the public + should judge of it as a poetical composition before it is submitted + to the mangling necessary for the stage. + + Of course, my task being finished, I have nothing more to do with + it; nor do I care whether it is published first or after, provided + only it may be acted: though I dare say that process may not prove + entirely satisfactory to me either; for though Mr. Young and my + father would thoroughly embody my conception of the parts intended + for them, yet there is a woman's part which, considering the + materials history has furnished, ought to be a very fine + one--Louisa of Savoy; and it must be cut down to the capacity of a + second-rate actress. The character would have been the sort of one + for Mrs. Siddons; how I wish she was yet in a situation to afford + it the high preferment of her acceptance! + + My father has obtained a most unequivocal success in Paris, the + more flattering as it was rather doubtful, and the excellent + Parisians not only received him very well, but forthwith threw + themselves into a headlong _furor_ for Shakespeare and Charles + Kemble, which, although they might not improbably do the same + to-morrow for two dancing dogs, _we_ are quite willing to attribute + to the merits of the poet and his interpreter. The French papers + have been profuse in their praises of both, and some of our own + have quoted their commendations. My mother is, I think, recovering, + though slowly, from her long illness. She is less deaf, and rather + less blind; but for the general state of her health, time, and time + alone, will, I am sure, restore it entirely. I have just seen the + dress that my father had made abroad for his part in my play: a + bright amber-colored _velours épinglé_, with a border of rich + silver embroidery; this, together with a cloak of violet velvet + trimmed with imitation sable. The fashion is what you see in all + the pictures and prints of Francis I. My father is very anxious, I + think, to act the play; my mother, to have it published before it + is acted; and I sit and hear it discussed and praised and + criticised, only longing (like a "silly wench," as my mother calls + me when I confess as much to her) to see my father in his lovely + dress and hear the _alarums of my fifth act_. + + I am a little mad, I suppose, and my letter a little tipsy, I dare + say, but I am ever your most affectionate + + FANNY. + + + 16 ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, WESTMINSTER, + October 21, 1827. + MY DEAR H----, + + Your letter was short and sweet, but none the sweeter for being + short. I should have thought no one could have been worse provided + than myself with news or letter chit-chit, and yet I think my + letters are generally longer than yours; brevity, in you, is a + fault; do not be guilty of it again: "car du reste," as Madame de + Sévigné says, "votre style est parfait." John returned to Cambridge + on Thursday night. He is a great loss to me, for though I have seen + but little of him since our return to town, that little is too much + to lose of one we love. He is an excellent fellow in every way, and + in the way of abilities he is particularly to my mind. We all miss + him very much; however, his absence will be broken now by visits to + London, in order to keep his term [about this time my brother was + entered at the Inner Temple, I think], so that we shall + occasionally enjoy his company for a day or two. I should like to + tell you something about my play, but unluckily have nothing to + tell; everything about it is as undecided as when last I wrote to + you. It is in the hands of the copyist of Covent Garden, but what + its ultimate fate is to be I know not. If it is decided that it is + to be brought out on the stage before publication, that will not + take place at present, because this is a very unfavorable time of + year. If I can send it to Ireland, tell me how I can get it + conveyed to you, and I will endeavor to do so. I should like you to + read it, but oh, _how_ I should like to go and see it acted with + you! I am now full of thoughts of writing a comedy, and have drawn + out the plan of one--plot, acts, and scenes in due order--already; + and I mean to make it Italian and mediæval, for the sake of having + one of those bewitching creatures, a jester, in it; I have an + historical one in my play, Triboulet, whom I have tried to make an + interesting as well as an amusing personage. + + My mother, by the aid of a blister and _my play_, is, I think, + recovering, though slowly, from her illness; she is still, though, + in a state of great suffering, which is by no means alleviated by + being unable to write, read, work, or occupy herself in any manner. + + We have been to the play pretty regularly twice a week for the last + three weeks, and shall continue to do so during the whole winter; + which is a plan I much approve of. I am very fond of going to the + play, and Kean, Young, and my father make one of Shakespeare's + plays something well worth seeing. I saw the "Merchant of Venice" + the other evening, for the first time, and returned home a violent + _Keanite_. That man is an extraordinary creature! Some of the + things he did, appeared, on reflection, questionable to my judgment + and open to criticism; but while under the influence of his amazing + power of passion it is impossible to reason, analyze, or do + anything but surrender one's self to his forcible appeals to one's + emotions. He entirely divested Shylock of all poetry or elevation, + but invested it with a concentrated ferocity that made one's blood + curdle. He seemed to me to combine the supernatural malice of a + fiend with the base reality of the meanest humanity. His passion is + prosaic, but all the more intensely terrible for that very reason. + I am to see him to-morrow in "Richard III.," and, though I never + saw the play before, am afraid I shall be disappointed, because + Richard III. is a Plantagenet Prince, and should be a royal + villain, and I am afraid Mr. Kean will not have the innate + _majesty_ which I think belongs to the part; however, we shall see, + and when next I write I will tell you how it impressed me. + + You deserve that I should bestow all my tediousness upon you, for + loving me as well as you do. Mrs. Harry Siddons and her daughter + are here for two or three days, on their return from their tour + through Switzerland. Mrs. Harry is all that is excellent, though + she does not strike me as particularly clever; and Lizzy is a very + pretty, very good, very sweet, very amiable girl. Her brother, my + cousin, the midshipman, is here too, having come up from Portsmouth + to meet his mother and sister, so that the house is full. Think of + that happy girl having travelled all through Switzerland, seen the + Jungfrau--Manfred's mountain--been in two violent storms at night + on the lakes, and telling me placidly that "she liked it all very + well." Oh dear, oh dear! how queerly Heaven does distribute + privileges! Good-by, dear. + + Yours ever, + FANNY. + + + 16 ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, December, 1827. + MY DEAREST H----, + + My heart is full of joy, and I write that you may rejoice with me; + our dear John has distinguished himself greatly, but lest my words + should seem sisterly and exaggerated, I will repeat what Mr. + Peacock, his tutor, wrote to my father: "He has covered himself + with glory. Such an oration as his has not been heard for many + years in Cambridge, and it was as tastefully and modestly delivered + as it was well written." This has made us all _very, very_ happy, + and though the first news of it overcame my poor mother, whose + nerves are far from firm, she soon recovered, and we are + impatiently expecting his return from college. My play is at + present being pruned by my father, and will therefore not occupy my + thoughts again till it comes out, which I hope will be at Easter. I + did not write sooner, because I had nothing to say; but now that + this joy about my brother has come to me, _je te l'envoie_. Since + last you heard from me I have seen the great West India Dock and + the Thames Tunnel. Oh, H----, "que c'est une jolie chose que + l'homme!" Annihilated by any one of the elements if singly opposed + to its power, he by his genius yet brings their united forces into + bondage, and compels obedience from all their manifold combined + strength. We penetrate the earth, we turn the course of rivers, we + exalt the valleys and bow down the mountains; and we die and return + to our dust, and they remain and remember us no more. Often enough, + indeed, the names of great inventors and projectors have been + overshadowed or effaced by mere finishers of their work or adapters + of their idea, who have reaped the honor and emolument due to an + obscure originator, who passes away from the world, his rightful + claim to its admiration and gratitude unknown or unacknowledged. + But these obey the law of their being; they cannot but do the work + God's inspiration calls them to. + + But I must tell you what this tunnel is like, or at least try to do + so. You enter, by flights of stairs, the first door, and find + yourself on a circular platform which surrounds the top of a well + or shaft, of about two hundred feet in circumference and five + hundred in depth. This well is an immense iron frame of cylindrical + form, filled in with bricks; it was constructed on level ground, + and then, by some wonderful mechanical process, sunk into the + earth. In the midst of this is a steam engine, and above, or below, + as far as your eye can see, huge arms are working up and down, + while the creaking, crashing, whirring noises, and the swift + whirling of innumerable wheels all round you, make you feel for the + first few minutes as if you were going distracted. I should have + liked to look much longer at all these beautiful, wise, working + creatures, but was obliged to follow the last of the party through + all the machinery, down little wooden stairs and along tottering + planks, to the bottom of the well. On turning round at the foot of + the last flight of steps through an immense dark arch, as far as + sight could reach stretched a vaulted passage, smooth earth + underfoot, the white arches of the roof beyond one another + lengthening on and on in prolonged vista, the whole lighted by a + line of gas lamps, and as bright, almost, as if it were broad day. + It was more like one of the long avenues of light that lead to the + abodes of the genii in fairy tales, than anything I had ever + beheld. The profound stillness of the place, which was first broken + by my father's voice, to which the vaulted roof gave extraordinary + and startling volume of tone, the indescribable feeling of + subterranean vastness, the amazement and delight I experienced, + quite overcame me, and I was obliged to turn from the friend who + was explaining everything to me, to cry and ponder in silence. How + I wish you had been with us, dear H----! Our name is always worth + something to us: Mr. Brunel, who was superintending some of the + works, came to my father and offered to conduct us to where the + workmen were employed--an unusual favor, which of course delighted + us all. So we left our broad, smooth path of light, and got into + dark passages, where we stumbled among coils of ropes and heaps of + pipes and piles of planks, and where ground springs were welling up + and flowing about in every direction, all which was very strange. + As you may have heard, the tunnel caved in once, and let the Thames + in through the roof; and in order that, should such an accident + occur again, no lives may be lost, an iron frame has been + constructed--a sort of cage, divided into many compartments, in + each of which a man with his lantern and his tools is placed--and + as they clear the earth away this iron frame is moved onward and + advances into new ground. All this was wonderful and curious beyond + measure, but the appearance of the workmen themselves, all + begrimed, with their brawny arms and legs bare, some standing in + black water up to their knees, others laboriously shovelling the + black earth in their cages (while they sturdily sung at their + task), with the red, murky light of links and lanterns flashing and + flickering about them, made up the most striking picture you can + conceive. As we returned I remained at the bottom of the stairs + last of all, to look back at the beautiful road to Hades, wishing I + might be left behind, and then we reascended, through wheels, + pulleys, and engines, to the upper day. After this we rowed down + the river to the docks, lunched on board a splendid East Indiaman, + and came home again. I think it is better for me, however, to look + at the trees, and the sun, moon, and stars, than at tunnels and + docks; they make me too _humanity proud_. + + I am reading "Vivian Grey." Have you read it? It is very clever. + + Ever your most affectionate + + FANNY. + + + 16 ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, January, 1828. + DEAREST H----, + + I jumped, in despite of a horrid headache, when I saw your letter. + Indeed, if you knew how the sight of your handwriting delights me, + you would not talk of lack of matter; for what have I to tell you + of more interest for you, than the health and proceedings of those + you love must be to me? + + Dear John is come home with his trophy. He is really a highly + gifted creature; but I sometimes fear that the passionate eagerness + with which he _pursues his pursuit_, the sort of frenzy he has + about politics, and his constant excitement about political + questions, may actually injure his health, and the vehemence with + which he speaks and writes in support of his peculiar views will + perhaps endanger his future prospects. + + He is neither tory nor whig, but a radical, a utilitarian, an + adorer of Bentham, a worshiper of Mill, an advocate for vote by + ballot, an opponent of hereditary aristocracy, the church + establishment, the army and navy, which he deems sources of + unnecessary national expense; though who is to take care of our + souls and bodies, if the three last-named institutions are done + away with, I do not quite see. Morning, noon, and night he is + writing whole volumes of arguments against them, full of a good + deal of careful study and reading, and in a close, concise, + forcible style, which is excellent in itself, and the essays are + creditable to his laborious industry; but they will not teach him + mathematics, or give him a scholarship or his degree. That he will + distinguish himself hereafter I have no doubt; but at present he is + engrossed by a passion (for it seems to me nothing less) which + occupies his mind and time, to the detriment, if not the exclusion, + of all other studies. + + I feel almost ashamed of saying anything about myself, after the + two or three scoldings you have sent me of late. Perhaps while my + blue devils found vent in ridiculous verses, they did not much + matter; but their having prompted me lately to throw between seven + and eight hundred pages (about a year's work) into the fire, seems + to me now rather deplorable. You perhaps will say that the fire is + no bad place for seven or eight hundred pages of my manuscript; but + I had spent time and pains on them, and I think they should not + have been thrown away in a foolish fit of despondency. I am at + present not very well. I do not mean that I have any specific + illness, but headaches and side-aches, so that I am one moment in a + state of feverish excitement and the next nervous and low-spirited; + this is not a good account, but a true one. + + I have no "new friends," dearest H----; perhaps because my dislike + to society makes me stupid and disagreeable when I am in it. I have + made one acquaintance, which might perhaps grow to a friendship + were it not that distance and its attendant inconveniences have + hitherto prevented my becoming more intimate with the lady I refer + to. She is a married woman; her name is Jameson. She is an + Irishwoman, and the authoress of the "Diary of an Ennuyée." I like + her very much; she is extremely clever; I wish I knew her better. I + have been to one dance and one or two dinners lately, but to tell + you the truth, dear H----, the old people naturally treat me after + my years, as a young person, and the young people (perhaps from my + self-conceit) seem to me stupid and uninteresting, and so, you see, + I do not like society. Cecilia Siddons is out of town at present, + and I have not seen her for some time. You may have heard that the + theatre has gained a lawsuit against Sinclair, the celebrated + singer, by a reversal of the former verdict in the case. We were + not even aware that such a process was going on, and when my father + came home and said, "We have won our cause," my mother and myself + started up, supposing he meant _the_ chancery suit. That, + unfortunately, is still pending, pending, like the sword of + Damocles, over our heads, banishing all security for the present or + hope for the future. The theatre is, I believe, doing very well + just now, and we go pretty often to the play, which I like. I have + lately been seeing my father playing Falstaff several times, and I + think it is an excellent piece of acting; he gives all the humor + without too much coarseness, or _charging_, and through the whole, + according to the fat knight's own expression, he is "Sir John to + all the world," with a certain courtly deportment which prevents + him from degenerating into the mere gross buffoon. They are in sad + want of a woman at both the theatres. I've half a mind to give + Covent Garden one. Don't be surprised. I have something to say to + you on this subject, but have not room for it in this letter. My + father is just now acting in the north of England. We expect him + back in a fortnight. God bless you, dear H----. + + Yours ever, + FANNY. + +The vehement passion of political interest which absorbed my brother at +this time was in truth affecting the whole of English society almost as +passionately. In a letter written in 1827, the Duke of Wellington, after +speaking of the strong partisan sentiment which was agitating the +country, added, "The ladies and all the youth are with us;" that is, +with the Tory party, which, under his leadership, was still an active +power of obstruction to the imminent changes to which both he and his +party were presently to succumb. His ministry was a period of the +stormiest excitement in the political world, and the importance of the +questions at issue--Catholic emancipation and parliamentary +reform--powerfully affected men's minds in the ranks of life least +allied to the governing class. Even in a home so obscure and so devoted +to other pursuits and interests as ours, the spirit of the times made +its way, and our own peculiar occupations became less interesting to us +than the intense national importance of the public questions which were +beginning to convulse the country from end to end. About this time I met +with a book which produced a great and not altogether favorable effect +upon my mind (the blame resting entirely with me, I think, and not with +what I read). I had become moody and fantastical for want of solid +wholesome mental occupation, and the excess of imaginative stimulus in +my life, and was possessed with a wild desire for an existence of lonely +independence, which seemed to my exaggerated notions the only one fitted +to the intellectual development in which alone I conceived happiness to +consist. Mrs. Jameson's "Diary of an Ennuyée," which I now read for the +first time, added to this desire for isolation and independence such a +passionate longing to go to Italy, that my brain was literally filled +with chimerical projects of settling in the south of Europe, and there +leading a solitary life of literary labor, which, together with the fame +I hoped to achieve by it, seemed to me the only worthy purpose of +existence. While under the immediate spell of her fascinating book, it +was of course very delightful to me to make Mrs. Jameson's acquaintance, +which I did at the house of our friends, Mr. and Mrs. Basil Montagu. +They were the friends of Coleridge, Hazlitt, Charles Lamb, Proctor +(Barry Cornwall, who married Mrs. Montagu's daughter), and were +themselves individually as remarkable, if not as celebrated, as many of +their more famous friends. Basil Montagu was the son of the Earl of +Sandwich and the beautiful Miss Wray, whose German lover murdered her at +the theatre by shooting her in her private box, and then blew his own +brains out. Mr. Montagu inherited ability, eccentricity, and personal +beauty, from his parents. His only literary productions that I am +acquainted with were a notice of Bacon and his works, which he published +in a small pamphlet volume, and another volume of extracts from some of +the fine prose writers of the seventeenth century. I have a general +impression that his personal intercourse gave a far better idea of his +intellectual ability than anything that he achieved either in his +profession or in letters. + +His conversation was extremely vivid and sparkling, and the quaint +eccentricity of his manner added to the impression of originality which +he produced upon one. Very unlike the common run of people as he was, +however, he was far less so than his wife, who certainly was one of the +most striking and remarkable persons I have known. Her appearance was +extraordinary: she was much above middle height, with a beautiful figure +and face, the outline of which was of classical purity and severity, +while her whole carriage and appearance was dignified and majestic to +the highest degree. I knew her for upwards of thirty years, and never +saw her depart from a peculiar style of dress, which she had adopted +with the finest instinct of what was personally becoming as well as +graceful and beautiful in itself. She was so superior in this point to +her sex generally, that, having found that which was undoubtedly her own +proper individual costume, she never changed the fashion of it. Her +dress deserved to be called (what all dress should be) a lesser fine +art, and seemed the proper expression in clothes of her personality, and +really a part of herself. It was a long, open robe, over an underskirt +of the same material and color (always moonlight silver gray, amethyst +purple, or black silk or satin of the richest quality), trimmed with +broad velvet facings of the same color, the sleeves plain and tight +fitting from shoulder to wrist, and the bosom covered with a fine lace +half-body, which came, like the wimple of old mediæval portraits, up +round her throat, and seemed to belong in material and fashion to the +clear chin-stay which followed the noble contour of her face, and the +picturesque cap which covered, without concealing, her auburn hair and +the beautiful proportions of her exquisite head. + +This lady knew no language but her own, and to that ignorance (which one +is tempted in these days occasionally to think desirable) she probably +owed the remarkable power and purity with which she used her mother +tongue. Her conversation and her letters were perfect models of spoken +and written English. Her marriage with Mr. Montagu was attended with +some singular circumstances, the knowledge of which I owe to herself. +She was a Yorkshire widow lady, and came with her only child (a little +girl) to visit some friends in London, with whom Basil Montagu was +intimate. Mrs. S---- had probably occasionally been the subject of +conversation between him and her hosts, when they were expecting her; +for one evening soon after her arrival, as she was sitting partly +concealed by one of the curtains in the drawing-room, Basil Montagu came +rapidly into the room, exclaiming (evidently not perceiving her), "Come, +where is your wonderful Mrs. S----? I want to see her." During the whole +evening he engrossed her attention and talked to her, and the next +morning at breakfast she laughingly complained to her hosts that he had +not been content with that, but had tormented her in dreams all night. +"For," said she, "I dreamt I was going to be married to him, and the day +before the wedding he came to me with a couple of boxes, and said +solemnly, 'My dear Anne, I want to confide these relics to your keeping; +in this casket are contained the bones of my dear first wife, and in +this those of my dear second wife; do me the favor to take charge of +them for me.'" The odd circumstance was that Basil Montagu had been +married twice, and that when he made his third matrimonial venture, and +was accepted by Mrs. S----, he appeared before her one day, and with +much solemnity begged her to take charge of two caskets, in which were +respectively treasured, not the bones, but the letters of her two +predecessors. It is quite possible that he might have heard of her dream +on the first night of their acquaintance, and amused himself with +carrying it out when he was about to marry her; but when Mrs. Montagu +told me the story I do not think she suggested any such rationalistic +solution of the mystery. Her daughter, Anne S---- (afterwards Mrs. +Procter), who has been all my life a kind and excellent friend to me, +inherited her remarkable mother's mental gifts and special mastery over +her own language; but she added to these, as part of her own +individuality, a power of sarcasm that made the tongue she spoke in and +the tongue she spoke with two of the most formidable weapons any woman +was ever armed with. She was an exceedingly kind-hearted person, +perpetually occupied in good offices to the poor, the afflicted, her +friends, and all whom she could in any way serve; nevertheless, such was +her severity of speech, not unfrequently exercised on those she appeared +to like best, that Thackeray, Browning, and Kinglake, who were all her +friendly intimates, sometimes designated her as "Our Lady of +Bitterness," and she is alluded to by that title in the opening chapter +of "Eothen." A daily volume of wit and wisdom might have been gathered +from her familiar talk, which was _crisp_, with suggestions of thought +in the liveliest and highest form. Somebody asking her how she and a +certain acrid critic of her acquaintance got on together, she replied, +"Oh, very well; we sharpen each other like two knives." Being +congratulated on the restoration of cordiality between herself and a +friend with whom she had had some difference, "Oh yes," said she, "the +cracked cup is mended, but it will never hold water again." Both these +ladies, mother and daughter, had a most extraordinary habit of crediting +their friends with their own wise and witty sayings; thus Mrs. Montagu +and Mrs. Procter would say, "Ah yes, you know, as you once said," and +then would follow something so sparkling, profound, concise, incisive, +and brilliant, that you remained, eyes and mouth open, gasping in +speechless astonishment at the merit of the saying you never said (and +couldn't have said if your life had depended on it), and the +magnificence of the gift its author was making you. The princes in the +Arabian Nights, who only gave you a ring worth thousands of sequins, +were shabby fellows compared with these ladies, who declared that the +diamonds and rubies of their own uttering had fallen from your lips. +Persons who lay claim to the good things of others are not rare; those +who do not only disclaim their own, but even credit others with them, +are among the very rarest. In all my intercourse with the inhabitants of +_two_ worlds, I have known no similar instance of self-denial; and +reflecting upon it, I have finally concluded that it was too superhuman +to be a real virtue, and could proceed only from an exorbitant +superabundance of natural gift, which made its possessors reckless, +extravagant, and even unprincipled in the use of their wealth; they had +wit enough for themselves, and to spare for all their friends, and these +were many. + +At an evening party at Mrs. Montagu's, in Bedford Square, in 1828, I +first saw Mrs. Jameson. The Ennuyée, one is given to understand, dies; +and it was a little vexatious to behold her sitting on a sofa, in a very +becoming state of blooming _plumptitude_; but it was some compensation +to be introduced to her. And so began a close and friendly intimacy, +which lasted for many years, between myself and this very accomplished +woman. She was the daughter of an Irish miniature-painter of the name of +Murphy, and began life as a governess, in which capacity she educated +the daughters of Lord H----, and went to Italy with the family of Mrs. +R----. When I first knew her she had not long been married to Mr. Robert +Jameson, a union so ill-assorted that it restored Mrs. Jameson to the +bosom of her own family, to whom her conjugal ill-fortune proved a +blessing, for never did daughter and sister discharge with more loving +fidelity the duties of those relationships. Her life was devoted to her +parents while they lived, and after their death to her sisters and a +young niece whom she adopted. Her various and numerous gifts and +acquirements were exercised, developed, and constantly increased by a +life of the most indefatigable literary study, research, and labor. Her +reading was very extensive; her information, without being profound, was +general; she was an excellent modern linguist, and perfectly well versed +in the literature of her own country and of France, Germany, and Italy. +She had an uncommon taste and talent for art, and as she added to her +knowledge of the theory and history of painting familiar acquaintance +with most of the fine public and private galleries in Europe, a keen +sensibility to beauty, and considerable critical judgment, her works +upon painting, and especially the exceedingly interesting volumes she +published on the "Sacred and Legendary Art of the Romish Church," are at +once delightful and interesting sources of information, and useful and +accurate works of reference, to which considerable value is added by her +own spirited and graceful etchings. + +The literary works of hers in which I have a direct personal interest, +are a charming book of essays on Shakespeare's female characters, +entitled "Characteristics of Women," which she did me the honor to +dedicate to me; some pages of letterpress written to accompany a series +of sketches John Hayter made of me in the character of Juliet; and a +notice of my sister's principal operatic performances after she came out +on the stage. Mrs. Jameson at one time contemplated writing a life of my +aunt Siddons, not thinking Boaden's biography of her satisfactory; in +this purpose, however, she was effectually opposed by Campbell, who had +undertaken the work, and, though he exhibited neither interest nor zeal +in the fulfillment of his task, doggedly (in the manger) refused to +relinquish it to her. Certainly, had Mrs. Jameson carried out her +intention, Mrs. Siddons would have had a monument dedicated to her +memory better calculated to preserve it than those which the above-named +gentlemen bestowed on her. It would have been written in a spirit of far +higher artistic discrimination, and with infinitely more sympathy both +with the woman and with the actress. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Late in middle life Mrs. Jameson formed an intimate acquaintance, which +at one time assumed the character of a close friendship, with Lady +Byron, under the influence of whose remarkable mind and character the +subjects of artistic and literary interest, which had till then absorbed +Mrs. Jameson's attention and occupied her pen, gave place to others of a +very different kind--those which engrossed for a time, to the exclusion +of almost all others, the minds of men and women in England at the +beginning of the Crimean War; when the fashion of certain forms of +philanthropy set by that wonderful woman, Florence Nightingale, was +making hospital nurses of idle, frivolous fine ladies, and turning into +innumerable channels of newly awakened benevolence and activity--far +more zealous than discreet--the love of adventure, the desire for +excitement, and the desperate need of occupation, of many women who had +no other qualifications for the hard and holy labors into which they +flung themselves. + +Mrs. Jameson felt the impulse of the time, as it reached her through +Lady Byron and Miss Nightingale, and warmly embraced the wider and more +enlightened aspect of women's duties beginning to be advocated with +extreme enthusiasm in English society. One of the last books she +published was a popular account of foreign Sisters of Mercy, their +special duties, the organization of their societies, and the sphere of +their operations; suggesting the formation of similar bodies of +religiously charitable sisterhoods in England. She had this subject so +much at heart, she told me, that she had determined to give a series of +public lectures upon it, provided she found her physical power equal to +the effort of making herself heard by an audience in any public room of +moderate size. She tested the strength of her chest and voice by +delivering one lecture to an audience assembled in the drawing-rooms of +a friend; but, as she never repeated the experiment, I suppose she found +the exertion too great for her. + +When first I met Mrs. Jameson she was an attractive-looking young woman, +with a skin of that dazzling whiteness which generally accompanies +reddish hair, such as hers was; her face, which was habitually refined +and _spirituelle_ in its expression, was capable of a marvelous power of +concentrated feeling, such as is seldom seen on any woman's face, and is +peculiarly rare on the countenance of a fair, small, delicately featured +woman, all whose personal characteristics were essentially feminine. Her +figure was extremely pretty; her hands and arms might have been those of +Madame de Warens. + +Mrs. Jameson told me that the idea of giving public lectures had +suggested itself to her in the course of her conversations with Lady +Byron upon the possible careers that might be opened to women. I know +Lady Byron thought a very valuable public service might be rendered by +women who so undertook to advocate important truths of which they had +made special study, and for the dissemination of which in this manner +they might be especially gifted. She accepted in the most liberal manner +the claim put forward by women to more extended spheres of usefulness, +and to the adoption of careers hitherto closed to them; she was deeply +interested, personally, in some who made the arduous attempt of studying +and practicing medicine, and seemed generally to think that there were +many directions in which women might follow paths yet unopened, of high +and noble exertion, and hereafter do society and the cause of progress +good service. + +Lady Byron was a peculiarly reserved and quiet person, with a manner +habitually deliberate and measured, a low, subdued voice, and rather +diffident hesitation in expressing herself: and she certainly conveyed +the impression of natural reticence and caution. But so far from ever +appearing to me to justify the description often given of her, of a +person of exceptionally cold, hard, measured intellect and character, +she always struck me as a woman capable of profound and fervid +enthusiasm, with a mind of rather a romantic and visionary order. + +She surprised me extremely one evening as she was accompanying me to one +of my public readings, by exclaiming, "Oh, how I envy you! What would I +not give to be in your place!" As my vocation, I am sorry to say, +oftener appeared to me to justify my own regret than the envy of others, +I answered, "What! to read Shakespeare before some hundreds of people?" +"Oh no," she said; "not to read Shakespeare to them, but to have all +that mass of people under your control, subject to your influence, and +receiving your impressions." She then went on to say she would give +anything to lecture upon subjects which interested her deeply, and that +she should like to advocate with every power she possessed. Lady Byron, +like most enthusiasts, was fond of influencing others and making +disciples to her own views. I made her laugh by telling her that more +than once, when looking from my reading-desk over the sea of faces +uplifted towards me, a sudden feeling had seized me that I must say +something _from myself_ to all those human beings whose attention I felt +at that moment entirely at my command, and between whom and myself a +sense of sympathy thrilled powerfully and strangely through my heart, as +I looked steadfastly at them before opening my lips; but that, on +wondering afterwards _what_ I might, could, would, or should have said +to them from myself, I never could think of anything but two words: "Be +good!" which as a preface to the reading of one of Shakespeare's plays +("The Merry Wives of Windsor," for instance) might have startled them. +Often and strongly as the temptation recurred to me, I never could think +of anything better worth saying to my audience. I have some hope that +sometimes in the course of the reading I said it effectually, without +shocking them by a departure from my proper calling, or deserving the +rebuke of "Ne sutor ultra crepidam." + +In February, 1828, I fell ill of the measles, of which the following +note to Miss S---- is a record. + + MY DEAREST H----, + + I am in a great hurry, because my parcel is not made up yet, and I + expect your brother's emissary to call at every moment. I send you + my play, also an album of mine, also an unfinished sketch of me, + also a copy of my will. The play you must not keep, because it is + my only copy; neither must you keep my album, because I want to + finish one of the pieces of verse begun in it; my picture--such as + it is--begun, but never finished, by Dick ----, I thought you would + like better than nothing. He has finished one that is a very good + likeness of me, but it was done for my mother, or I should have + wished you to have it. My will I made last week, while I was in bed + with the measles, and want you to keep that. + + I have been very ill for the last fortnight, but am well again now. + I am pressed for time to-day, but will soon write to you in + earnest. + + I'm afraid you'll find my play very long; when my poor father began + cutting it, he looked ruefully at it, and said, "There's plenty of + it, Fan," to which my reply is Madame de Sévigné's, "Si j'eusse eu + plus de temps, je ne t'aurais pas écrit si longuement." Dear H----, + if you knew how I thought of you, and the fresh, sweet mayflowers + with which we filled our baskets at Heath Farm, while I lay parched + and full of pain and fever in my illness! + + Yours ever, + FANNY. + +My beloved aunt Dall nursed and tended me in my sickness with unwearied +devotion; and one day when I was convalescent, finding me depressed in +spirits and crying, she said laughingly to me, "Why, child, there is +nothing the matter with you; but you are weak in body and mind." This +seemed to me the most degraded of all conceivable conditions, and I fell +into a redoublement of weeping over my own abasement and imbecility. + +My attention was suddenly attracted to a large looking-glass opposite my +bed, and it occurred to me that in my then condition of nerves nothing +was more likely than that I should turn visionary and fancy I beheld +apparitions. And under this conviction I got up and covered the glass, +in which I felt sure I should presently "see sic sights as I daured na +tell." I speak of this because, though I was in a physical condition not +unlikely to produce such phenomena, I retained the power of perceiving +that they would be the result of my physical condition, and that I +should in some measure be accessory to my own terror, whatever form it +might assume. + +I have so often in my life been on the very edge of ghost-seeing, and +felt so perfectly certain that the least encouragement on my part would +set them before me, and that nothing but a resolute effort of will would +save me from such a visitation, that I have become convinced that of the +people who have seen apparitions, one half have--as I should term +it--chosen to do so. I have all my life suffered from a tendency to +imaginary terrors, and have always felt sure that a determined exercise +of self-control would effectually keep them from having the dominion +over me. The most distressing form of nervous excitement that I have +ever experienced was one that for many years I was very liable to, and +which always recurred when I was in a state of unusual exaltation or +depression of spirits; both which states in me were either directly +caused or greatly aggravated by certain electrical conditions of the +atmosphere, which seemed to affect my whole nervous system as if I had +been some machine expressly constructed for showing and testing the +power of such influences on the human economy. + +I habitually read while combing and brushing my hair at night, and +though I made no use of my looking-glass while thus employed, having my +eyes fixed on my book, I sat (for purposes of general convenience) at my +toilet table in front of the mirror. While engrossed in my book it has +frequently happened to me accidentally to raise my eyes and suddenly to +fix them on my own image in the glass, when a feeling of startled +surprise, as if I had not known I was there and did not immediately +recognize my own reflection, would cause me to remain looking at myself, +the intentness with which I did so increasing as the face appeared to me +not my own; and under this curious fascination my countenance has +altered, becoming gradually so dreadful, so much more dreadful in +expression than any human face I ever saw or could describe, while it +was next to impossible for me to turn my eyes away from the hideous +vision confronting me, that I have felt more than once that unless by +the strongest effort of will I immediately averted my head, I should +certainly become insane. Of course I was myself a party to this strange +fascination of terror, and must, no doubt, have exercised some power of +volition in the assumption of the expression that my face gradually +presented, and which was in no sense a distortion or grimace, but a +terrible look suggestive of despair and desperate wickedness, the memory +of which even now affects me painfully. But though in some measure +voluntary, I do not think I was conscious at the time that the process +was so; and I have never been able to determine the precise nature of +this nervous affection, which, beginning thus in a startled feeling of +sudden surprise, went on to such a climax of fascinated terror. + +I was already at this time familiar enough with the theory of ghosts, of +which one need not be afraid, through Nicolai of Berlin's interesting +work upon the curious phantasmagoria of apparitions, on which he made +and recorded so many singular observations. Moreover, my mother, from a +combination of general derangement of the system and special affection +of the visual nerves, was at one time constantly tormented by whole +processions and crowds of visionary figures, of the origin and nature of +which she was perfectly aware, but which she often described as +exceedingly annoying by their grotesque and distorted appearance, and +wearisome from their continual recurrence and thronging succession. With +the recovery of her general health she obtained a release from this +disagreeable haunting. + +One of the most remarkable and painful instances of affection of the +visual organs in consequence of a violent nervous shock was that +experienced by my friend Miss T----, who, after seeing her cousin, Lady +L----, drowned while bathing off the rocks at her home at Ardgillan, was +requested by Lord L---- to procure for him, before his wife's burial, +the wedding ring from her finger. The poor lady's body was terribly +swollen and discolored, and Miss T---- had to use considerable effort to +withdraw the ring from the dead finger. The effect of the whole +disastrous event upon her was to leave her for several months afflicted +with an affection of the eyes, which represented half of the face of +every person she saw with the swollen, livid, and distorted features of +her drowned cousin; a horrible and ghastly result of the nervous shock +she had undergone, which she feared she should never be delivered from, +but which gradually wore itself out. + +The only time I ever saw an apparition was under singularly unfavorable +circumstances for such an experience. I was sitting at midday in an +American railroad car, which every occupant but my maid and myself had +left to go and get some refreshment at the station, where the train +stopped some time for that purpose. I was sitting with my maid in a +small private compartment, sometimes occupied by ladies travelling +alone, the door of which (wide open at the time) communicated with the +main carriage, and commanded its entire length. Suddenly a person +entered the carriage by a door close to where I sat, and passed down the +whole length of the car. I sprang from my seat, exclaiming aloud, "There +is C----!" and rushed to the door before, by any human possibility, any +one could have reached the other end of the car; but nobody was to be +seen. My maid had seen nothing. The person I imagined I had seen was +upwards of two hundred miles distant; but what was to me the most +curious part of this experience was that had I really met the person I +saw anywhere, my most careful endeavor would have been to avoid her, +and, if possible, to escape being seen by her; whereas this apparition, +or imagination, so affected my nerves that I rushed after it as if +desirous of pursuing and overtaking it, while my deliberate desire with +regard to the image I thus sprang towards would have been never to have +seen it again as long as I lived. The state of the atmosphere at the +time of this occurrence was extraordinarily oppressive, and charged with +a tremendous thunder-storm, a condition of the air which, as I have +said, always acts with extremely distressing and disturbing influence +upon my whole physical system. + + ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, February, 1828. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I have this instant received your letter, and, contrary to John's + wise rule of never answering an epistle till three days after he + receives it, I sit down to write, to talk, to be with you. Pray, + when your potatoes flourish, your fires are put out by the sun, and + your hills are half hid in warm mist, wish one hearty wish for me, + such as I spend by the dozen on you. I confess I am disappointed, + as far as I can be with a letter of yours, at finding you had not + yet received my parcel, for my vanity has been in considerable + anxiety respecting your judgment on my production. Now that the + effervescence of my poetical _furor_ has subsided, and that + repeated perusals have taken a little of the charm of novelty from + my play, my own opinion of it is that it is a clever performance + _for so young a person_, but nothing more. The next will, I hope, + be better, and I think you will agree with me in regard to this. + Dearest H----, in my last letter want of time and room prevented my + enlarging on my hint about the stage, but as far as my own + determination goes at present, I think it is the course that I + shall most likely pursue. You know that independence of mind and + body seems to me the great desideratum of life; I am not patient of + restraint or submissive to authority, and my head and heart are + engrossed with the idea of exercising and developing the literary + talent which I think I possess. This is meat, drink, and sleep to + me; my world, in which I live, and have my happiness; and, + moreover, I hope, by means of fame (the prize for which I pray). To + a certain degree it may be my means of procuring benefits of a more + substantial nature, which I am by no means inclined to estimate at + less than their worth. I do not think I am fit to marry, to make an + obedient wife or affectionate mother; my imagination is paramount + with me, and would disqualify me, I think, for the every-day, + matter-of-fact cares and duties of the mistress of a household and + the head of a family. I think I should be unhappy and the cause of + unhappiness to others if I were to marry. I cannot swear I shall + never fall in love, but if I do I will fall out of it again, for I + do not think I shall ever so far lose sight of my best interest and + happiness as to enter into a relation for which I feel so unfit. + Now, if I do not marry, what is to become of me in the event of + anything happening to my father? His property is almost all gone; I + doubt if we shall ever receive one pound from it. Is it likely + that, supposing I were willing to undergo the drudgery of writing + for my bread, I could live by my wits and the produce of my brain; + or is such an existence desirable? + + Perhaps I might attain to the literary dignity of being the lioness + of a season, asked to dinner parties "because I am so clever;" + perhaps my writing faculty might become a useful auxiliary to some + other less precarious dependence; but to write to eat--to live, in + short--that seems to me to earn hard money after a very hard + fashion. The stage is a profession that people who have a talent + for it make lucrative, and which honorable conduct may make + respectable; one which would place me at once beyond the fear of + want, and that is closely allied in its nature to my beloved + literary pursuits. + + If I should (as my father and mother seem to think not unlikely) + change my mind with respect to marrying, the stage need be no bar + to that, and if I continue to write, the stage might both help me + in and derive assistance from my exercise of the pursuit of + dramatic authorship. And the mere mechanical labor of writing costs + me so little, that the union of the two occupations does not seem + to me a difficulty. My father said the other day, "There is a fine + fortune to be made by any young woman, of even decent talent, on + the stage now." A fine fortune is a fine thing; to be sure, there + remains a rather material question to settle, that of "even decent + talent." A passion for all beautiful poetry I am sure you will + grant me; and you would perhaps be inclined to take my father and + mother's word for my dramatic capacity. I spoke to them earnestly + on this subject lately, and they both, with some reluctance, I + think, answered me, to my questions, that they thought, as far as + they could judge (and, unless partiality blinds them entirely, none + can be better judges), I might succeed. In some respects, no girl + intending herself for this profession can have had better + opportunities of acquiring just notions on the subject of acting. I + have constantly heard refined and thoughtful criticism on our + greatest dramatic works, and on every various way of rendering them + effective on the stage. I have been lately very frequently to the + theater, and seen and heard observingly, and exercised my own + judgment and critical faculty to the best of my ability, according + to these same canons of taste by which it has been formed. Nature + has certainly not been as favorable to me as might have been + wished, if I am to embrace a calling where personal beauty, if not + indispensable, is so great an advantage. But if the informing + spirit be mine, it shall go hard if, with a face and voice as + obedient to my emotions as mine are, I do not in some measure make + up for the want of good looks. My father is now proprietor and + manager of the theatre, and those certainly are favorable + circumstances for my entering on a career which is one of great + labor and some exposure, at the best, to a woman, and where a young + girl cannot be too prudent herself, nor her protectors too careful + of her. I hope I have not taken up this notion hastily, and I have + no fear of looking only on the bright side of the picture, for ours + is a house where that is very seldom seen. + + Good-by; God bless you! I shall be very anxious to hear from you; I + sent you a note with my play, telling you I had just got up from + the measles; but as my note has not reached you, I tell you so + again. I am quite well, however, now, and shall not give them to + you by signing myself + + Yours most affectionately, + FANNY. + + P.S.--I forgot to answer your questions in telling you all this, + but I will do so methodically now. My side-ache is some disturbance + in my liver, evidently, and does not give way entirely either to + physic or exercise, as the slightest emotion, either pleasurable or + painful, immediately brings it on; my blue devils I pass over in + silence; such a liver and my kind of head are sure to breed them. + + Certainly I reverence Jeremy Bentham for his philanthropy, plain + powerful sense, and lucid forcible writing; but as for John's + politics, they are, as Beatrice tells the prince he is, "too costly + for every-day wear." His theories are so perfect that I think + imperfect men could never be brought to live under a scheme of + government of his devising. + + I think Mrs. Jameson would like you, and you her, if you met, but + my mind is running on something else than this. My father's income + is barely eight hundred a year. John's expenses, since he has been + at college, have been nearly three. Five hundred a year for such a + family as ours is very close and careful work, dear H----, and if + my going on the stage would nearly double that income, lessen my + dear father's anxieties for us all, and the quantity of work which + he latterly has often felt too much for him, and remove the many + privations which my dear mother cheerfully endures, as well as the + weight of her uncertainty about our future provision, would not + this be a "consummation devoutly to be wished"? + + + ST. JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, March, 1828. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I have been thinking what you have been thinking of my long + silence, about which, however, perhaps you have not been thinking + at all. What, you say in one of your last about my destroying your + letters troubles me a good deal, dearest H----. I really cannot + bear to think of it; why, those letters are one of my very few + precious possessions. When I am unhappy (as I sometimes am), I read + them over, and I feel strengthened and comforted; if it is your + _positive desire_ that I should burn them, of course I must do it; + but if it is only a sort of "I think you had better" that you have + about it, I shall keep them, and you must be satisfied with one of + my old "I can't help it's." As for my own scrawls, I do _not_ + desire that you should keep them. I write, as I speak, on the + impulse of the moment, and I should be sorry that the incoherent + and often contradictory thoughts that I pour forth daily should be + preserved against me by anybody. + + My father is now in Edinburgh. He has been absent from London about + a week. I had a conversation with him about the stage some time + before he went, in which he allowed that, should our miserably + uncertain circumstances finally settle unfavorably, the theatre + might be an honorable and advantageous resource for me; but that at + present he should be sorry to see me adopt that career. As he is + the best and kindest father and friend to us all, such a decision + on his part was conclusive, as you will easily believe; and I have + forborne all further allusion to the subject, although on some + accounts I regret being obliged to do so. + + I was delighted with your long letter of criticisms; I am grateful + to you for taking the trouble of telling me so minutely all you + thought about my play. For myself, although at the time I wrote it + I was rather puffed up and elated in spirit, and looked at it + naturally in far too favorable a light, I assure you I have long + since come to a much soberer frame of mind respecting it. I think + it is quite unfit for the stage, where the little poetical merit it + possesses would necessarily be lost; besides, its construction is + wholly undramatic. The only satisfaction I now take in it is + entirely one of hope; I am very young, and I cannot help feeling + that it offers some promise for the future, which I trust may be + fulfilled. Now even, already, I am sure I could do infinitely + better; nor will it be long, I think, before I try my strength + again. If you could see the multiplicity of subjects drawn up in my + book under the head of "projected works," how you would shake your + wise head, and perhaps your lean sides. I wish I could write a good + prose work, but that, I take it, is really difficult, as good, + concise, powerful, clear prose must be much less easy to write than + even tolerable poetry. I have been reading a quantity of German + plays (translations, of course, but literal ones), and I have been + reveling in that divine devildom, "Faust." Suppose it does send one + to bed with a side-ache, a headache, and a heartache, isn't it + worth while? Did you ever read Goethe's "Tasso"? Certainly he makes + the mad poet a mighty disagreeable person; but in describing him it + seemed to me as if Goethe was literally transcribing my thoughts + and feelings, my mind and being. + + Now, dearest H----, don't bear malice, and, because I have not + written for so long, wait still longer before you answer. My mother + has been in the country for a few days, and has returned with a + terrible cough and cold, with which pleasant maladies she finds the + house full here to welcome her, so that we all croak in unison most + harmoniously. I was at the Siddonses' the other evening. My aunt + was suffering, I am sorry to say, with one of her terrible + headaches; Cecilia was pretty well, but as it was a _soirée + chantante_, I had little opportunity of talking to either of them. + Did you mention my notion about going on the stage in any of your + letters to Cecy? + + The skies are brightening and the trees are budding; it will soon + be the time of year when we first met. Pray remember me when the + hawthorn blossoms; hail, snow, or sunshine, I remember you, and am + ever your affectionate + + FANNY. + +The want of a settled place of residence compelled me, many years after +writing this letter, to destroy the letters of my friend, which I had +preserved until they amounted to many hundreds; my friend kept, in the +house that was her home from her fourteenth to her sixtieth year, all +mine to her--several thousands, the history of a whole human life--and +gave them back to me when she was upwards of seventy and I of sixty +years old; they are the principal aid to my memory in my present task of +retrospection. + +My life at home at this time became difficult and troublesome, and +unsatisfactory to myself and others; my mind and character were in a +chaotic state of fermentation that required the wisest, firmest, and +gentlest guidance. I was vehement and excitable, violently impulsive, +and with a wild, ill-regulated imagination. + +The sort of smattering acquirements from my schooling, and the desultory +reading which had been its only supplement, had done little or nothing +(perhaps even worse than nothing) towards my effectual moral or mental +training. A good fortune, for which I can never be sufficiently +thankful, occurred to me at this time, in the very intimate intercourse +which grew up just then between our family and that of my cousin, Mrs. +Henry Siddons. + +She had passed through London on her way to the Continent, whither she +was going for the sake of the health of her youngest daughter, an +interesting and attractive young girl some years older than myself, who +at this time seemed threatened with imminent consumption. She had a +sylph-like, slender figure, tall, and bending and wavering like a young +willow sapling, and a superabundant profusion of glossy chestnut +ringlets, which in another might have suggested vigor of health and +constitution, but always seemed to me as if their redundant masses had +exhausted hers, and were almost too great a weight for her slim throat +and drooping figure. Her complexion was transparently delicate, and she +had dark blue eyes that looked almost preternaturally large. It seems +strange to remember this ethereal vision of girlish fragile beauty as +belonging to my dear cousin, who, having fortunately escaped the doom by +which she then seemed threatened, lived to become a most happy and +excellent wife and mother, and one of the largest women of our family, +all of whose female members have been unusually slender in girlhood and +unusually stout in middle and old age. When Mrs. Henry Siddons was +obliged to return to Edinburgh, which was her home, she was persuaded by +my mother to leave her daughter with us for some time; and for more than +a year she and her elder sister and their brother, a lad studying at the +Indian Military College of Addiscombe, were frequent inmates of our +house. The latter was an extremely handsome youth, with a striking +resemblance to his grandmother, Mrs. Siddons; he and my brother Henry +were certainly the only two of the younger generation who honorably +maintained the reputation for beauty of their elders; in spite of which, +and the general admiration they excited (especially when seen together), +perhaps indeed from some uncomfortable consciousness of their personal +advantages, they were both of them shamefaced and bashful to an unusual +degree. + +I remember a comical instance of the shy _mauvaise honte_, peculiar to +Englishmen, which these two beautiful boys exhibited on the occasion of +a fancy ball, to which we were all invited, at the house of our friend, +Mrs. E. G----. To me, of course, my first fancy ball was an event of +unmixed delight, especially as my mother had provided for me a lovely +Anne Boleyn costume of white satin, point-lace, and white Roman pearls, +which raised my satisfaction to rapture. The two Harrys, however, far +from partaking of my ecstasy, protested, pouted, begged off, all but +broke into open rebellion at the idea of making what they called "guys" +and "chimney-sweeps" of themselves; and though the painful sense of any +singularity might have been mitigated by the very numerous company of +their fellow-fools assembled in the ball-room, to keep them in +countenance, and the very unpretending costume of simple and, elegant +black velvet in which my mother had attired them, as Hamlet and Laertes +(it must have been in their very earliest college days), they hid +themselves behind the ball-room door and never showed as much as their +noses or their toes, while I danced beatifically till daylight, and +would have danced on till noon. + +Mrs. Henry Siddons, in her last stay with us, obtained my mother's +consent that I should go to Edinburgh to pay her a visit, which began by +being of indeterminate length, and prolonged itself for a year--the +happiest of my life, as I often, while it lasted, thought it would +prove; and now that my years are over I know to have been so. To the +anxious, nervous, exciting, irritating tenor of my London life succeeded +the calm, equable, and all but imperceptible control of my dear friend, +whose influence over her children, the result of her wisdom in dealing +with them, no less than of their own amiable dispositions, was absolute. +In considering Mrs. Henry Siddons's character, when years had modified +its first impression upon my own, my estimate of it underwent, of +course, some inevitable alteration; but when I stayed with her in +Edinburgh I was at the idolatrous period of life, and never, certainly, +had an enthusiastic young girl worshiper a worthier or better idol. + +She was not regularly handsome, but of a sweet and most engaging +countenance; her figure was very pretty, her voice exquisite, and her +whole manner, air, and deportment graceful, attractive, and charming. +Men, women, and children not only loved her, but inevitably _fell in +love_ with her, and the fascination which she exercised over every one +that came in contact with her invariably deepened into profound esteem +and confidence in those who had the good fortune to share her intimacy. +Her manner, which was the most gentle and winning imaginable, had in it +a touch of demure playfulness that was very charming, at the same time +that it habitually conveyed the idea of extreme self-control, and a +great reserve of moral force and determination underneath this quiet +surface. + +Mrs. Harry's manner was artificial, and my mother told me she thought it +the result of an early determination to curb the demonstrations of an +impetuous temper and passionate feelings. It had become her second +nature when I knew her, however, and contributed not a little to the +immense ascendency she soon acquired over my vehement and stormy +character. She charmed me into absolute submission to her will and +wishes, and I all but worshiped her. + +She was a Miss Murray, and came of good Scottish blood, her +great-grandfather having at one time been private secretary to the Young +Pretender. She married Mrs. Siddons's youngest son, Harry, the only one +of my aunt's children who adopted her own profession, and who, himself +an indifferent actor, undertook the management of the Edinburgh theater, +fell into ill-health, and died, leaving his lovely young widow with four +children to the care of her brother, William Murray, who succeeded him +in the government of the theater, of which his sister and himself became +joint proprietors. + +Edinburgh at that time was still the small but important capital of +Scotland, instead of what railroads and modern progress have reduced it +to, merely the largest town. Those were the days of the giants, Scott, +Wilson, Hogg, Jeffrey, Brougham, Sidney Smith, the Horners, Lord Murray, +Allison, and all the formidable intellectual phalanx that held mental +dominion over the English-speaking world, under the blue and yellow +standard of the _Edinburgh Review_. + +The ancient city had still its regular winter season of fashionable +gayety, during which sedan chairs were to be seen carrying through its +streets, to its evening assemblies, the more elderly members of the +_beau monde_. The nobility and gentry of Scotland came up from their +distant country residences to their town-houses in "Auld Reekie," as +they now come up to London. + +Edinburgh was a brilliant and peculiarly intellectual center of society +with a strongly marked national character, and the theater held a +distinguished place among its recreations; the many eminent literary and +professional men who then made the Scotch capital illustrious being +zealous patrons of the drama and frequenters of the play-house, and +proud, with reason, of their excellent theatrical company, at the head +of which was William Murray, one of the most perfect actors I have ever +known on any stage, and among whom Terry and Mackay, admirable actors +and cultivated, highly intelligent men, were conspicuous for their +ability. + +Mrs. Henry Siddons held a peculiar position in Edinburgh, her widowed +condition and personal attractions combining to win the sympathy and +admiration of its best society, while her high character and blameless +conduct secured the respect and esteem of her theatrical subjects and +the general public, with whom she was an object of almost affectionate +personal regard, and in whose favor, as long as she exercised her +profession, she continued to hold the first place, in spite of their +temporary enthusiasm for the great London stars who visited them at +stated seasons. "_Our_ Mrs. Siddons," I have repeatedly heard her called +in Edinburgh, not at all with the slightest idea of comparing her with +her celebrated mother-in-law, but rather as expressing the kindly +personal good-will and the admiring approbation with which she was +regarded by her own townsfolk, who were equally proud and fond of her. +She was not a great actress, nor even what in my opinion could be called +a good actress, for she had no natural versatility or power of +assumption whatever, and what was opposed to her own nature and +character was altogether out of the range of her powers. + +On the other hand, when (as frequently happened) she had to embody +heroines whose characteristics coincided with her own, her grace and +beauty and innate sympathy with every thing good, true, pure, and +upright made her an admirable representative of all such characters. She +wanted physical power and weight for the great tragic drama of +Shakespeare, and passion for the heroine of his love tragedy; but Viola, +Rosalind, Isabel, Imogen, could have no better representative. In the +first part Sir Walter Scott has celebrated (in the novel of "Waverley") +the striking effect produced by her resemblance to her brother, William +Murray, in the last scene of "Twelfth Night;" and in many pieces founded +upon the fate and fortune of Mary Stuart she gave an unrivaled +impersonation of the "enchanting queen" of modern history. + +My admiration and affection for her were, as I have said, unbounded; and +some of the various methods I took to exhibit them were, I dare say, +intolerably absurd, though she was graciously good-natured in tolerating +them. + +Every day, summer and winter, I made it my business to provide her with +a sprig of myrtle for her sash at dinner-time; this, when she had worn +it all the evening, I received again on bidding her good night, and +stored in a _treasure_ drawer, which, becoming in time choked with +fragrant myrtle leaves, was emptied with due solemnity into the fire, +that destruction in the most classic form might avert from them all +desecration. I ought by rights to have eaten their ashes, or drunk a +decoction of them, or at least treasured them in a golden urn, but +contented myself with watching them shrivel and crackle with much +sentimental satisfaction. I remember a most beautiful myrtle tree, +which, by favor of a peculiarly sunny and sheltered exposure, had +reached a very unusual size in the open air in Edinburgh, and in the +flowering season might have borne comparison with the finest shrubs of +the warm terraces of the under cliff of the Isle of Wight. From this I +procured my daily offering to my divinity. + +The myrtle is the least voluptuous of flowers; the legend of Juno's +myrtle-sheltered bath seems not unnaturally suggested by the vigorous, +fresh, and healthy beauty of the plant, and the purity of its snowy +blossoms. The exquisite quality, too, which myrtle possesses, of +preserving uncorrupted the water in which it is placed, with other +flowers, is a sort of moral attribute, which, combined with the peculiar +character of its fragrance, seems to me to distinguish this lovely shrub +from every other flower of the field or garden. + +To return to my worship of Mrs. Harry Siddons. On one occasion the sash +of her dress came unfastened and fell to the ground, and, having secured +possession of it, I retained my prize and persisted in wearing it, +baldric fashion, over every dress I put on. It was a silk scarf, of a +sober dark-gray color, and occasionally produced a most fantastical and +absurd contrast with what I was wearing. + +These were childish expressions of a feeling the soberer portion of +which remains with me even now, and makes the memory of that excellent +woman, and kind, judicious friend, still very dear to my grateful +affection. Not only was the change of discipline under which I now lived +advantageous, but the great freedom I enjoyed, and which would have been +quite impossible in London, was delightful to me; while the wonderful, +picturesque beauty of Edinburgh, contrasted with the repulsive dinginess +and ugliness of my native city, was a constant source of the liveliest +pleasure to me. + +The indescribable mixture of historic and romantic interest with all +this present, visible beauty, the powerful charm of the Scotch ballad +poetry, which now began to seize upon my imagination, and the +inexhaustible enchantment of the associations thrown by the great modern +magician over every spot made memorable by his mention, combined to +affect my mind and feelings at this most susceptible period of my life, +and made Edinburgh dear and delightful to me above all other places I +ever saw, as it still remains--with the one exception of Rome, whose +combined claim to veneration and admiration no earthly city can indeed +dispute. + +Beautiful Edinburgh! dear to me for all its beauty and all the happiness +that I have never failed to find there, for the keen delight of my year +of youthful life spent among its enchanting influences, and for the kind +friends and kindred whose affectionate hospitality has made each return +thither as happy as sadder and older years allowed--my blessing on every +stone of its streets! + +I had the utmost liberty allowed me in my walks about the city, and at +early morning have often run up and round and round the Calton Hill, +delighting, from every point where I stopped to breathe, in the noble +panorama on every side. Not unfrequently I walked down to the sands at +Porto Bello and got a sea bath, and returned before breakfast; while on +the other side of the town my rambles extended to Newhaven and the rocks +and sands of Cramond Beach. + +While Edinburgh had then more the social importance of a capital, it had +a much smaller extent; great portions of the present new town did not +then exist. Warriston and the Bridge of Dean were still out of town; +there was no Scott's monument in Princess Street, no railroad terminus +with its smoke and scream and steam scaring the echoes of the North +Bridge; no splendid Queen's Drive encircled Arthur's Seat. Windsor +Street, in which Mrs. Harry Siddons lived, was one of the most recently +finished, and broke off abruptly above gardens and bits of meadow land, +and small, irregular inclosures, and mean scattered houses, stretching +down toward Warriston Crescent; while from the balcony of the +drawing-room the eye, passing over all this untidy suburban district, +reached, without any intervening buildings, the blue waters of the Forth +and Inchkeith with its revolving light. + +Standing on that balcony late one cold, clear night, watching the rising +and setting of that sea star that kept me fascinated out in the chill +air, I saw for the first time the sky illuminated with the aurora +borealis. It was a magnificent display of the phenomenon, and I feel +certain that my attention was first attracted to it by the crackling +sound which appeared to accompany the motion of the pale flames as they +streamed across the sky; indeed, _crackling_, is not the word that +properly describes the sound I heard, which was precisely that made by +the _flickering_ of blazing fire; and as I have often since read and +heard discussions upon the question whether the motion of the aurora is +or is not accompanied by an audible sound, I can only say that on this +occasion it was the sound that first induced me to observe the sheets of +white light that were leaping up the sky. At this time I knew nothing of +these phenomena, or the debates among scientific men to which they had +given rise, and can therefore trust the impression made on my senses. + +I have since then witnessed repeated appearances of these beautiful +meteoric lights, but have never again detected any sound accompanying +their motion. The finest aurora I ever saw was at Lenox, Massachusetts; +a splendid rose-colored pavilion appeared to be spread all over the sky, +through which, in several parts, the shining of the stars was distinctly +visible, while at the zenith the luminous drapery seemed gathered into +folds, the color of which deepened almost to crimson. It was wonderfully +beautiful. At Lenox, too, one night during the season of the appearance +of the great comet of 1858, the splendid flaming plume hovered over one +side of the sky, while all round the other horizon streams of white fire +appeared to rise from altars of white light. It was awfully glorious, +and beyond all description beautiful. The sky of that part of the United +States, particularly in the late autumn and winter, was more frequently +visited by magnificent meteors than any other with which I have been +acquainted. + +The extraordinary purity, dryness, and elasticity of the atmosphere in +that region was, I suppose, one cause of these heavenly shows; the clear +transparency of the sky by day often giving one the feeling that one was +looking straight into heaven without any intermediate window of +atmospheric air, while at night (especially in winter) the world of +stars, larger, brighter, more numerous than they ever seemed to me +elsewhere, and yet apparently infinitely higher and farther off, were +set in a depth of dark whose blackness appeared transparent rather than +opaque. + +Midnight after midnight I have stood, when the thermometer was twenty +and more degrees below freezing, looking over the silent, snow-smothered +hills round the small mountain village of Lenox, fast asleep in their +embrace, and from thence to the solemn sky rising above them like a huge +iron vault hung with thousands of glittering steel weapons, from which, +every now and then, a shining scimitar fell flashing earthward; it was a +cruel looking sky, in its relentless radiance. + +My solitary walks round Edinburgh have left two especial recollections +in my mind; the one pleasant, the other very sad. I will speak of the +latter first; it was like a leaf out of the middle of a tragedy, of +which I never knew either the beginning or the end. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +I was coming home one day from a tramp toward Cramond Beach, and was +just on the brow of a wooded height looking towards Edinburgh and not +two miles from it, when a heavy thunder-cloud darkened the sky above my +head and pelted me with large drops of ominous warning. On one side of +the road the iron gate and lodge of some gentleman's park suggested +shelter; and the half-open door of the latter showing a tidy, +pleasant-looking woman busy at an ironing table, I ventured to ask her +to let me come in till the sponge overhead should have emptied itself. +She very good-humoredly consented, and I sat down while the rain rang +merrily on the gravel walk before the door, and smoked in its vehement +descent on the carriage-road beyond. + +The woman pursued her work silently, and I presently became aware of a +little child, as silent as herself, sitting beyond her, in a small +wicker chair; on the baby's table which fastened her into it were some +remnants of shabby, broken toys, among which her tiny, wax-like fingers +played with listless unconsciousness, while her eyes were fixed on me. +The child looked wan and wasted, and had in its eyes, which it never +turned from me, the weary, wistful, unutterable look of "far away and +long ago" longing that comes into the miserably melancholy eyes of +monkeys. + +"Is the baby ill?" said I. + +"Ou na, mem; it's no to say that ill, only just always peaking and +pining like"--and she stopped ironing a moment to look at the little +creature. + +"Is it your own baby?" said I, struck with the absence of motherly +tenderness in spite of the woman's compassionate tone and expression. + +"Ou na, mem, it's no my ain; I hae nane o' my ain." + +"How old is it?" I went on. + +"Nigh upon five year old," was the answer, with which the ironing was +steadily resumed, with apparently no desire to encourage more questions. + +"Five years old!" I exclaimed, in horrified amazement: its size was that +of a rickety baby under three, while its wizened face was that of a +spell-struck creature of no assignable age, or the wax image of some +dwindling life wasting away before the witch-kindled fire of a +diabolical hatred. The tiny hands and arms were pitiably thin, and +showed under the yellow skin sharp little bones no larger than a +chicken's; and at her wrists and temples the blue tracery of her veins +looked like a delicate map of the blood, that seemed as if it could +hardly be pulsing through her feeble frame; while below the eyes a livid +shadow darkened the faded face that had no other color in it. + +The tears welled up into my eyes, and the woman, seeing them, suddenly +stopped ironing and exclaimed eagerly: "Ou, mem, ye ken the family; or +maybe ye'll hae been a friend of the puir thing's mither!" I was obliged +to say that I neither knew them nor any thing about them, but that the +child's piteous aspect had made me cry. + +In answer to the questions with which I then plied her, the woman, who +seemed herself affected by the impression I had received from the poor +little creature's appearance, told me that the child was that of the +only daughter of the people who owned the place; that there was +"something wrong" about it all, she did not know what--a marriage +ill-pleasing to the grandparents perhaps, perhaps even worse than that; +but the mother was dead, the family had been abroad for upward of three +years, and the child had been left under her charge. This was all she +told me, and probably all she knew; and as she ended she wiped the tears +from her own eyes, adding, "I'm thinking the puir bairn will no live +long itsel'." + +The rain was over and the sun shone, and I got up to go; as I went, the +child's dreary eyes followed me out at the door, and I cried all the way +home. Was it possible that my appearance suggested to that tiny soul the +image of its young lost mother? + +The other incident in my rambles that I wish to record was of a far +pleasanter sort. I had gone down to the pier at Newhaven, one blowy, +blustering day (the fine Granton Pier Hotel and landing-place did not +yet exist), and stood watching the waves taking their mad run and leap +over the end of the pier, in a glorious, foaming frenzy that kept me +fascinated with the fine uproar, till it suddenly occurred to me that it +would be delightful to be out among them (I certainly could have had no +recollections of sea-sickness), and I determined to try and get a boat +and go out on the frith. + +I stopped at a cottage on the outskirts of the fishing town (it was not +much more than a village then) of Newhaven, and knocked. Invited to come +in, I did so, and there sat a woman, one of the very handsomest I ever +saw, in solitary state, leisurely combing a magnificent curtain of fair +hair that fell over her ample shoulders and bosom and almost swept the +ground. She was seated on a low stool, but looked tall as well as large, +and her foam-fresh complexion and gray-green eyes might have become +Venus Anadyomene herself, turned into a Scotch fish-wife of five and +thirty, or "thereawa." "Can you tell me of any one who will take me out +in a boat for a little while?" quoth I. She looked steadily at me for a +minute, and then answered laconically, "Ay, my man and boy shall gang +wi' ye." A few lusty screams brought her husband and son forth, and at +her bidding they got a boat ready, and, with me well covered with +sail-cloths, tarpaulins, and rough dreadnaughts of one sort and another, +rowed out from the shore into the turmoil of the sea. A very little of +the dancing I got now was delight enough for me, and, deadly sick, I +besought to be taken home again, when the matronly Brinhilda at the +cottage received me with open-throated peals of laughter, and then made +me sit down till I had conquered my qualms and was able to walk back to +Edinburgh. Before I went, she showed me a heap of her children, too many, +it seemed to me, to be counted; but as they lay in an inextricable mass +on the floor in an inner room, there may have seemed more arms and legs +forming the radii, of which a clump of curly heads was the center, than +there really were. + +The husband was a comparatively small man, with dark eyes, hair, and +complexion; but her "boy," the eldest, who had come with him to take +care of me, was a fair-haired, fresh-faced young giant, of his mother's +strain, and, like her, looked as if he had come of the Northern Vikings, +or some of the Niebelungen Lied heroes. + +When I went away, my fish-wife bade me come again in smooth weather, and +if her husband and son were at home they should take me out; and I gave +her my address, and begged her, when she came up to town with her fish, +to call at the house. + +She was a splendid specimen of her tribe, climbing the steep Edinburgh +streets with bare white feet, the heavy fish-basket at her back hardly +stooping her broad shoulders, her florid face sheltered and softened in +spite of its massiveness into something like delicacy by the transparent +shadow of the white handkerchief tied hoodwise over her fair hair, and +her shrill sweet voice calling "Caller haddie!" all the way she went, in +the melancholy monotone that resounds through the thoroughfares of +Edinburgh--the only melodious street-cry (except the warning of the +Venetian gondoliers) that I ever heard. + +I often went back to visit my middle-aged Christie Johnstone, and more +than once saw her and her fellow fish-women haul up the boats on their +return after being out at sea. They all stood on the beach clamoring +like a flock of sea-gulls, and, as a boat's keel rasped the shingles, +rushed forward and seized it; and while the men in their sea clothes, +all dripping like huge Newfoundland dogs, jumped out in their heavy +boots and took each the way to their several houses, their stalwart +partners, hauling all together at the rope fastened to the boat, drew it +up beyond water-mark, and seized and sorted its freight of fish, and +stalked off each with her own basketful, with which she trudged up to +trade and chaffer with the "gude wives" of the town, and bring back to +the men the value of their work. It always seemed to me that these women +had about as equal a share of the labor of life as the most zealous +champion of the rights of their sex could desire. + +I did not indulge in any more boating expeditions, but admired the sea +from the pier, and became familiar with all the spokes of the +fish-wife's family wheel; at any rate, enough to distinguish Jamie from +Sandy, and Willie from Johnnie, and Maggie from Jeanie, and Ailsie from +Lizzie, and was great friends with them all. + +When I returned to Edinburgh, a theatrical star of the first magnitude, +I took a morning's holiday to drive down to Newhaven, in search of my +old ally, Mistress Sandie Flockhart. She no longer inhabited the little +detached cottage, and divers and sundry were the Flockhart "wives" that +I "speired at" through the unsavory street of Newhaven, before I found +the right one at last, on the third flat of a filthy house, where noise +and stench combined almost to knock me down, and where I could hardly +knock loud enough to make myself heard above the din within and without. +She opened the door of a room that looked as if it was running over with +live children, and confronted me with the unaltered aspect of her +comely, smiling face. But I had driven down from Edinburgh in all the +starlike splendor of a lilac silk dress and French crape bonnet, and my +dear fish-wife stared at me silently, with her mouth and gray eyes wide +open; only for a moment, however, for in the next she joyfully +exclaimed, "Ech, sirs! but it's yer ain sel come back again at last!" +Then seizing my hand, she added breathlessly, "I'se gotten anither ane, +and ye maun come in and see him;" so she dragged me bodily through and +over her surging progeny to a cradle, where, soothed by the strident +lullabies of its vociferating predecessors, her last-born and eleventh +baby lay peaceably slumbering, an infant Hercules. + +Among Mrs. Harry Siddons's intimate friends and associates were the +remarkable brothers George and Andrew Combe; the former a lawyer by +profession, but known to the literary and scientific world of Europe and +America as the Apostle of Phrenology, and the author of a work entitled +"The Constitution of Man," and other writings, whose considerable merit +and value appear to me more or less impaired by the craniological theory +which he made the foundation of all his works, and which to my mind +diminished the general utility of his publications for those readers who +are not prepared to accept it as the solution of all the mysteries of +human existence. + +His writings are all upon subjects of the greatest importance and +universal interest, and full of the soundest moral philosophy and the +most enlightened humanity; and their only drawback, to me, is the +phrenological element which enters so largely into his treatment of +every question. Indeed, his life was devoted to the dissemination of +this new philosophy of human nature (new, at any rate, in the precise +details which Gall, Spurzheim, and he elaborated from it), which, Combe +believed, if once generally accepted, would prove the clew to every +difficulty, and the panacea for every evil existing in modern +civilization. Political and social, religious and civil, mental and +moral government, according to him, hinged upon the study and knowledge +of the different organs of the human brain, and he labored incessantly +to elucidate and illustrate this subject, upon which he thought the +salvation of the world depended. For a number of years I enjoyed the +privilege of his friendship, and I have had innumerable opportunities of +hearing his system explained by himself; but as I was never able to get +beyond a certain point of belief in it, it was agreed on all hands that +my brain was deficient in the organ of causality, _i.e._, in the +capacity of logical reasoning, and that therefore it was not in my power +to perceive the force of his arguments or the truth of his system, even +when illustrated by his repeated demonstrations. + +I am bound to say that my cousin Cecilia Combe had quite as much trouble +with her household, her lady's-maids were quite as inefficient, her +housemaids quite as careless, and her cooks quite as fiery-tempered and +unsober as those of "ordinary Christians," in spite of Mr. Combe's +observation and manipulation of their bumps previous to engaging them. + +I remember once, when I was sitting to Lawrence Macdonald for my bust, +which was one of the first he ever executed, before he left Edinburgh to +achieve fame and fortune as the most successful marble portrait-maker in +Rome, an absurd instance of Mr. Combe's insight into character occurred +at my expense. + +Macdonald was an intimate friend of the Combes, and I used to see him at +their house very frequently, and Mr. Combe often came to the studio when +I was sitting. One day while he was standing by, grimly observing +Macdonald's absorbed manipulation of his clay, while I, the original +_clay_, occupied the "bad eminence" of an artist's studio throne, my +aunt came in with a small paper bag containing raspberry tarts in her +hand. This was a dainty so peculiarly agreeable to me that, even at that +advanced stage of my existence, those who loved me, or wished to be +loved by me, were apt to approach me with those charming three-cornered +puff paste propitiations. + +As soon as I espied the confectioner's light paper bag I guessed its +contents, and, springing from my dignified station, seized on the tarts +as if I had been the notorious knave of the nursery rhyme. "There now, +Macdonald, I told you so!" quoth Mr. Combe, and they both began to +laugh; and so did I, with my mouth full of raspberry puff, for it was +quite evident to me that my phrenological friend had impressed upon my +artistic friend the special development of my organ of alimentiveness, +as he politely called it, which I translated into the vulgate as "bump +of greediness." In spite of my reluctance to sit to him, from the +conviction that the thick outline of my features would turn the edge of +the finest chisel that "ever yet cut breath," and perhaps by dint of +phrenology, Macdonald succeeded in making a very good bust of me; and +some time after, to my great amusement, having seen me act in the +"Grecian Daughter," he said to me, "Oh, but what I want to do now is a +statue of you." + +"Yes," said I, "and I will tell you exactly where--in the last scene, +where I cover my face." + +"Precisely so!" cried my enthusiastic friend, and then burst out +laughing, on seeing the trap I had laid for him; but he was a very +honest man, and stood by his word. + +The attitude he wished to represent in a statue was that when, having +stabbed Dionysius, I raised the dagger toward heaven with one hand, and +drew my drapery over my face with the other. For my notion of heroic +women has always been, I am afraid, rather base--a sort of "They do not +mind death, but they can not bear pinching;" and though Euphrasia might, +could, would, and should stab the man who was about to murder her +father, I have no idea that she would like to look at the man she had +stabbed. "O Jupiter, no blood!" is apt to be the instinct, I suspect, +even in very villainous feminine natures, and those who are and those +who are not cowards alike shrink from sights of horror. + +When I made Macdonald's acquaintance I was a girl of about seventeen, +and he at the very beginning of his artistic career; but he had an +expression of power and vivid intelligence which foretold his future +achievements in the exquisite art to which he devoted himself. + +When next I met Macdonald it was after a long lapse of time, in 1846, in +Rome. Thither he had gone to study his divine art, and there he had +remained for a number of years in the exercise of it. He was now the +Signor Lorenzo of the Palazzo Barberini, the most successful and +celebrated maker of busts, probably, in Rome, having achieved fame, +fortune, the favor of the great, and the smiles of the fair, of the most +fastidious portion of the English society that makes its winter season +in Italy. He dined several times at our house (I was living with my +sister and her husband); under his guidance we went to see the statutes +of the Vatican by torchlight; and he came out once or twice in the +summer of that year to visit us at our villa at Frascati. + +I returned to Rome in 1852, and saw Macdonald frequently, in his studio, +in our own house, and in general society; and shortly before leaving +Rome I met him at dinner at Mrs. Archer Clive's (the authoress of "Paul +Ferrol"). I had a nosegay of snowdrops in the bosom of my dress, and +Macdonald, who sat next me, observed that they reminded him of Scotland, +that he had never seen one in all the years he had passed in Italy, and +did not even know that they grew there. + +The next day I went to the gardener of the Villa Medici, an old friend +of mine, and begged him to procure a pot of snowdrops for me, which I +carried to Macdonald's studio, thinking an occasional reminiscence of +his own northern land, which he had not visited for years, not a bad +element to infuse into his Roman life and surroundings. Macdonald's +portraits are generally good likenesses, sufficiently idealized to be +also good works of art. In statuary he never accomplished any thing of +extraordinary excellence. I think the "Ulysses Recognized by his Dog" +his best performance in sculpture. His studio was an extremely +interesting place of resort, from the portraits of his many remarkable +sitters with which it was filled. + +I met dear old Macdonald, in the winter of 1873, creeping in the sun +slowly up the Pincio as I waddled heavily down it (_Eheu!_), his +snow-white hair and moustache making his little-altered and strongly +marked features only more striking. I visited his studio and found +there, ardently and successfully creating immortal gods, a handsome, +pleasing youth, his son, inheriting his father's genius, and, strange to +say, his broadest of Scotch accents, though he had himself never been +out of Rome, where he was born. + +On one occasion Mr. Combe was consulted by Prince Albert with regard to +the royal children, and was desired to examine their heads. He did not, +of course, repeat any of the opinions he had given upon the young +princes' "developments," but said they were very nice children, and +likely to be capitally educated, for, he added (though shaking his head +over cousinly intermarriages among royal personages), Prince Albert was +well acquainted with the writings of Gall and Spurzheim, and his own +work on "The Constitution of Man." Prince Albert seems to have known +something of every thing that was worthy of a Wiseman's knowledge. + +In spite of my inability to accept his science of human nature, Mr. +Combe was always a most kind and condescending friend to me. He was a +man of singular integrity, uprightness, and purity of mind and +character, and of great justice and impartiality of judgment; he was +extremely benevolent and humane, and one of the most reasonable human +beings I have ever known. From first to last my intercourse with him was +always delightful and profitable to me. Of the brothers, however, the +younger, Dr. Andrew Combe, was by far the most generally popular, and +deservedly so. He was one of the most excellent and amiable of men; his +countenance, voice, and manner were expressive of the kindliest +benevolence; he had none of the angular rigidity of person and harshness +of feature of his brother: both were worthy and distinguished men, but +Andrew Combe was charming, which George Combe was not--at least to those +who did not know him. Although Dr. Combe completely indorsed his +brother's system, he was far lass fanatical and importunate in his +advocacy of it. Indeed, his works upon physiology, hygiene, and the +physical education of children are of such universal value and +importance that no parent or trainer of youth should be unfamiliar with +them. Moreover, to them and their excellent author society is indebted +for an amount of knowledge on these subjects which has now passed into +general use and experience, and become so completely incorporated in the +practice of the present day, that it is hardly remembered to whom the +first and most powerful impression of the importance of the "natural +laws," and their observance in our own lives and the training of our +children, is due. I knew a school of young girls in Massachusetts, where +taking regular exercise, the use of cold baths, the influence of fresh +air, and all the process of careful physical education to which they +were submitted, went by the general name of _Combeing_, in honor of Dr. +Combe. + +Dr. Combe was Mrs. Harry Siddons's medical adviser, most trusted friend, +and general counselor. The young people of her family, myself included, +all loved and honored him; and the gleam of genial pleasant humor (a +quality of which his worthy brother had hardly a spark) which frequently +brightened the gentle gravity of his countenance and demeanor made his +intercourse delightful to us; and great was the joy when he proposed to +take one or other of us in his gig for a drive to some patient's house, +in the lovely neighborhood of Edinburgh. I remember my poor dear +mother's dismay when, on my return home, I told her of these same +drives. She was always in a fever of apprehension about people's falling +in love with each other, and begged to know how old a man this +delightful doctor, with whom Mrs. Harry allowed her own daughters and my +mother's daughters to go _gigging_, might be. "Ah," replied I, +inexpressibly amused at the idea of Dr. Combe in the character of a gay +gallant, "ever so old!" I had the real school-girl's estimate of age, +and honestly thought that dear Dr. Combe was quite an old man. I believe +he was considerably under forty. But if he had been much younger, the +fatal disease which had set its seal upon him, and of which he +died--after defending his life for an almost incredible space of time +from its ultimate victory (which all his wisdom and virtue could but +postpone)--was so clearly written upon his thin, sallow face, deep-sunk +eyes, and emaciated figure, and gave so serious and almost sad an +expression to his countenance and manner, that one would as soon have +thought of one's grandfather as an unsafe companion for young girls. I +still possess a document, duly drawn up and engrossed in the form of a +deed by his brother, embodying a promise which he made to me jestingly +one day, that when he was dead he would not fail to let me know, if ever +ghosts were permitted to revisit the earth, by appearing to me, binding +himself by this contract that the vision should be unaccompanied by the +smallest smell of sulphur or flash of blue flame, and that instead of +the indecorous undress of a slovenly winding-sheet, he would wear his +usual garments, and the familiar brown great-coat with which, to use his +own expression, he "buttoned his bones together" in his life. I +remembered that laughing promise when, years after it was given, the +news of his death reached me, and I thought how little dismay I should +feel if it could indeed have been possible for me to see again, "in his +image as he lived," that kind and excellent friend. On one of the +occasions when Dr. Combe took me to visit one of his patients, we went +to a quaint old house in the near neighborhood of Edinburgh. If the +Laird of Dumbiedike's mansion had been still standing, it might have +been that very house. The person we went to visit was an old Mr. M----, +to whom he introduced me, and with whom he withdrew, I suppose for a +professional consultation, leaving me in a strange, curious, +old-fashioned apartment, full of old furniture, old books, and faded, +tattered, old nondescript articles, whose purpose it was not easy to +guess, but which must have been of some value, as they were all +protected from the air and dust by glass covers. When the gentlemen +returned, Mr. M---- gratified my curiosity by showing every one of them +to me in detail, and informing me that they had all belonged to, or were +in some way relics of, Charles Edward Stuart. "And this," said the old +gentleman, "was his sword." It was a light dress rapier, with a very +highly cut and ornamented steel hilt. I half drew the blade, thinking +how it had flashed from its scabbard, startling England and dazzling +Scotland at its first unsheathing, and in what inglorious gloom of +prostrate fortunes it had rusted away at last, the scorn of those who +had opposed, and the despair of those who had embraced, its cause. "And +so that was the Pretender's sword!" said I, hardly aware that I had +spoken until the little, withered, snuff-colored gentleman snatched +rather than took it from me, exclaiming, "Wha' did ye say, madam? it was +the _prince's_ sword!" and laid it tenderly back in the receptacle from +which he had taken it. + +As we drove away, Dr. Combe told me, what indeed I had perceived, that +this old man, who looked like a shriveled, russet-colored leaf for age +and feebleness, was a passionate partisan of Charles Edward, by whom my +mention of him as the Pretender, if coming from a man, would have been +held a personal insult. It was evident that I, though a mere chit of the +irresponsible sex, had both hurt and offended him by it. His sole +remaining interest in life was hunting out and collecting the smallest +records or memorials of this shadow of a hero; surely the merest "royal +apparition" that ever assumed kingship. "What a set those Stuarts must +have been!" exclaimed an American friend of mine once, after listening +to "Bonnie Prince Charlie," "to have had all those glorious Jacobite +songs made and sung for them, and not to have been more of men than they +were!" And so I think, and thought even then, for though I had a passion +for the Jacobite ballads, I had very little enthusiasm for their +thoroughly inefficient hero, who, for the claimant of a throne, was +undoubtedly _un très pauvre sire_. Talking over this with me, as we +drove from Mr. M----'s, Dr. Combe said he was persuaded that at that +time there were men to be found in Scotland ready to fight a duel about +the good fame of Mary Stuart. + +Sir Walter Scott told me that when the Scottish regalia was discovered, +in its obscure place of security, in Edinburgh Castle, pending the +decision of government as to its ultimate destination, a committee of +gentlemen were appointed its guardians, among whom he was one; and that +he received a most urgent entreaty from an old lady of the Maxwell +family to be permitted to see it. She was nearly ninety years old, and +feared she might not live till the crown jewels of Scotland were +permitted to become objects of public exhibition, and pressed Sir Walter +with importunate prayers to allow her to see them before she died. Sir +Walter's good sense and good nature alike induced him to take upon +himself to grant the poor old lady's petition, and he himself conducted +her into the presence of these relics of her country's independent +sovereignty; when, he said, tottering hastily forward from his support, +she fell on her knees before the crown, and, clasping and wringing her +wrinkled hands, wailed over it as a mother over her dead child. His +description of the scene was infinitely pathetic, and it must have +appealed to all his own poetical and imaginative sympathy with the +former glories of his native land. + +My mother's anxiety about Dr. Combe's age reminds me that my intimacy +with my cousin, Harry Siddons, who was now visiting his mother previous +to his departure for India to begin his military career, had been a +subject of considerable perplexity to her while I was still at home and +he used to come from Addiscombe to see us. Nothing could be more +diametrically opposite than his mother's and my mother's system (if +either could be called so) of dealing with the difficulty, though I have +my doubts whether Mrs. Harry perceived any in the case; and whereas I +think my mother's apprehensions and precautions would have very probably +been finally justified by some childish engagement between Harry and +myself, resulting in all sorts of difficulties and complications as time +went on and absence and distance produced their salutary effect on a boy +of twenty and a girl of seventeen, Mrs. Harry remained passive, and +apparently unconscious of any danger; and we walked and talked and +danced and were sentimental together after the most approved cousinly +fashion, and Harry went off to India with my name engraved upon his +sword--a circumstance which was only made known to me years after by his +widow (his and my cousin, Harriet Siddons), whom he met and loved and +married in India, and who made me laugh, telling me how hard he and she +had worked, scratched, and scrubbed together to try and efface my name +from the good sword; which, however, being true steel, and not +inconstant heart of man, refused to give up its dedication. I should +have much objected to any such inscription had I been consulted. + +My cousin Harry's wife was the second daughter of George Siddons, Mrs. +Siddons's eldest son, who through her interest was appointed, while +still quite a young man, to the influential and lucrative post of +collector of the port at Calcutta, which position he retained for nearly +forty years. He married a lady in whose veins ran the blood of the kings +of Delhi, and in whose descendants, in one or two instances, even in the +fourth generation, this ancestry reveals itself by a type of beauty of +strikingly Oriental character. Among these is the beautiful Mrs. +Scott-Siddons, whose exquisite features present the most perfect living +miniature of her great-grandmother's majestic beauty. In two curiously +minute, highly finished miniatures of the royal Hindoo personages, her +ancestors, which Mrs. George Siddons gave Miss Twiss (and the latter +gave me), it is wonderful how strong a likeness may be traced to several +of their remote descendants born in England of English parents. + +To return to Edinburgh: another intimate acquaintance, or rather friend, +of Mr. Combe's whom I frequently met at his house was Duncan McLaren, +father of the present member of Parliament, the able editor of the +_Scotsman_. Between him and the Combes all matters of public interest +and importance were discussed from the most liberal and enlightened +point of view, and it was undoubtedly a great advantage to an +intelligent girl of my age to hear such vigorous, manly, clear +expositions of the broadest aspects of all the great political and +governmental questions of the day. Admirable sound sense was the +characteristic that predominated in that intellectual circle, and was +brought to bear upon every subject; and I remember with the greatest +pleasure the evenings I passed at Mr. Combe's residence in +Northumberland Street, with these three grave men. Among the younger +associates to whom these elders and betters extended their kindly +hospitality was William Gregory, son of the eminent professor of +chemistry, who himself has since pursued the same scientific course with +equal success and distinction, adding a new luster to the honorable name +he inherited. + +Mr. William Murray, my dear Mrs. Harry's brother, was another member of +our society, to whom I have alluded, in speaking of the Edinburgh +Theater, as an accomplished actor; and sometimes I used to think that +was all he was, for it was impossible to determine whether the romance, +the sentiment, the pathos, the quaint humor, or any of the curiously +capricious varying moods in which these were all blended, displayed real +elements of his character or only shifting exhibitions of the peculiar +versatility of a nature at once so complex and so superficial that it +really was impossible for others, and I think would have been difficult +for himself, to determine what was genuine thought and feeling in him, +and what the mere appearance or demonstration or imitation of thought +and feeling. Perhaps this peculiarity was what made him such a perfect +actor. He was a very melancholy man, with a tendency to moody morbidness +of mind which made him a subject of constant anxiety to his sister. His +countenance, which was very expressive without being at all handsome, +habitually wore an air of depression, and yet it was capable of +brilliant vivacity and humorous play of feature. His conversation, when +he was in good spirits, was a delightful mixture of sentiment, wit, +poetry, fun, fancy and imagination. He had married the sister of Mrs. +Thomas Moore (the Bessie so tenderly invited to "fly from the world" +with the poet), and I used to think that he was like an embodiment of +Moore's lyrical genius: there was so much pathos and wit and humor and +grace and spirit and tenderness, and such a quantity of factitious +flummery besides in him, that he always reminded me of those pretty and +provoking songs in which some affected attitudinizing conceit mingles +with almost every expression of genuine feeling, like an artificial rose +in a handful of wild flowers. + +I do not think William Murray's diamonds were of the finest water, but +his _paste_ was; and it was difficult enough to tell the one from the +other. He had a charming voice, and sang exquisitely, after a fashion +which I have no doubt he copied (as, however, only original genius can +copy) from Moore; but his natural musical facility was such that, +although no musician, and singing everything only by ear, he executed +the music of the Figaro in Mozart's "Nozze" admirably. He had a good +deal of his sister's winning charm of manner, and was (but not, I think, +of malice prepense) that pleasantly pernicious creature, a male flirt. +It was quite out of his power to address any woman (sister or niece or +cookmaid) without an air and expression of sentimental courtesy and +tender chivalrous devotion, that must have been puzzling and perplexing +in the extreme to the uninitiated; and I am persuaded that until some +familiarity bred--if not contempt, at least comprehension--every woman +of his acquaintance (his cook included) must have felt convinced that he +was struggling against a respectful and hopeless passion for her. + +Of another acquaintance of ours in Edinburgh, a Mrs. A----, I wish to +say a word. She was a very singular woman; not perhaps in being +tolerably ignorant and silly, with an unmeaning face and a foolish, +commonplace manner, an average specimen of vacuity of mind and vapidity +of conversation, but undoubtedly singular in that she combined with +these not un-frequent human conditions a most rare gift of musical and +poetical interpretation--a gift so peculiar that when she sang she +literally seemed inspired, taken possession of, by some other soul, that +entered into her as she opened her mouth and departed from her as she +shut it. She had a dull, brick-colored, long, thin face, and dull, +pale-green eyes, like boiled gooseberries; but when in a clear, high, +sweet, passionless soprano, like the voice of a spirit, and without any +accompaniment, she sang the old Scotch ballads which she had learned in +early girlhood from her nurse, she produced one of the most powerful +impressions that music and poetry combined can produce. From her I heard +and learned by ear "The Douglas Tragedy," "Fine Flowers in the Valley," +"Edinbro'," and many others, and became completely enamored of the wild +beauty of the Scotch ballads, the terror and pity of their stories, and +the strange, sweet, mournful music to which they were told. I knew every +collection of them, that I could get hold of, by heart, from Scott's +"Border Minstrelsy" to Smith's six volumes of "National Scottish Songs +with their Musical Settings," and I said and sang them over in my lonely +walks perpetually; and they still are to me among the deepest and +freshest sources of poetical thought and feeling that I know. It is +impossible, I think, to find a truer expression of passion, anguish, +tenderness, and supernatural terror, than those poems contain. The dew +of heaven on the mountain fern is not more limpid than the simplicity of +their diction, nor the heart's blood of a lover more fervid than the +throbbing intensity of their passion. Misery, love, longing, and despair +have found no finer poetical utterance out of Shakespeare; and the +deepest chords of woe and tenderness have been touched by these often +unknown archaic song-writers, with a power and a pathos inferior only to +his. The older ballads, with the exquisite monotony of their burdens +soothing and relieving the tragic tenor of their stories, like the +sighing of wind or the murmuring of water; the clarion-hearted Jacobite +songs, with the fragrance of purple heather and white roses breathing +through their strains of loyal love and death-defying devotion; and the +lovely, pathetic, and bewitchingly humorous songs of Burns, with their +enchanting melodies, were all familiar to me, and, during the year that +I spent in Edinburgh, were my constant study and delight. + +On one occasion I sat by Robert Chambers, and heard him relate some +portion of the difficulties and distresses of his own and his brother's +early boyhood (the interesting story has lately become generally known +by the publication of their memoirs); and I then found it very difficult +to swallow my dinner, and my tears, while listening to him, so deeply +was I affected by his simple and touching account of the cruel struggle +the two brave lads--destined to become such admirable and eminent +men--had to make against the hardships of their position. I remember his +describing the terrible longing occasioned by the smell of newly baked +bread in a baker's shop near which they lived, to their poor, +half-starved, craving appetites, while they were saving every farthing +they could scrape together for books and that intellectual sustenance of +which, in after years, they became such bountiful dispensers to all +English-reading folk. Theirs is a very noble story of virtue conquering +fortune and dedicating it to the highest purposes. I used to meet the +Messrs. Chambers at Mr. Combe's house; they were intimate and valued +friends of the phrenologist, and I remember when the book entitled +"Vestiges of Creation" came out, and excited so great a sensation in the +public mind, that Mr. Combe attributed the authorship of it, which was +then a secret, to Robert Chambers. + +Another Edinburgh friend of ours was Baron Hume, a Scottish law +dignitary, a charming old gentleman of the very old school, who always +wore powder and a pigtail, knee-breeches, gold-buckles, and black silk +stockings; and who sent a thrill of delight through my girlish breast +when he addressed me, as he invariably did, by the dignified title of +"madam;" though I must sorrowfully add that my triumph on this score was +considerably abated when, on the occasion of my second visit to +Edinburgh, after I had come out on the stage, I went to see my kind old +friend, who was too aged and infirm to go to the theater, and who said +to me as I sat on a low stool by his sofa, "Why, madam, they tell me you +are become a great tragic actress! But," added he, putting his hand +under my chin, and raising my face toward him, "how am I to believe that +of this laughing face, madam?" No doubt he saw in his memory's eye the +majestic nose of my aunt, and my "visnomy" under the effect of such a +contrast must have looked comical enough, by way of a tragic mask. By +the bye, it is on record that while Gainsborough was painting that +exquisite portrait of Mrs. Siddons which is now in the South Kensington +Gallery, and which for many fortunate years adorned my father's house, +after working in absorbed silence for some time he suddenly exclaimed, +"Damn it, madam, there is no end to your nose!" The _restoration_ of +that beautiful painting has destroyed the delicate charm of its +coloring, which was perfectly harmonious, and has as far as possible +made it coarse and vulgar: before it had been spoiled, not even Sir +Joshua's "Tragic Muse" seemed to me so noble and beautiful a +representation of my aunt's beauty as that divine picture of +Gainsborough's. + +Two circumstances occurred during my stay in Edinburgh which made a +great impression upon me: the one was the bringing of the famous old +gun, Mons Meg, up to the castle; and the other was the last public +appearance of Madame Catalani. I do not know where the famous old cannon +had been kept till it was resolved to place it in Edinburgh Castle, but +the event was made quite a public festival, and by favor of some of the +military authorities who presided over the ceremony we were admirably +placed in a small angle or turret that commanded the beautiful land and +sea and town, and immediately overlooked the hollow road up which, with +its gallant military escort of Highland troops, and the resounding +accompaniment of their warlike music, the great old lumbering piece of +ordnance came slowly, dragged by a magnificent team of horses, into the +fortress. Nothing could be more striking than the contrast presented by +this huge, clumsy, misshapen, obsolete engine of war, and the spruce, +trim, shining, comparatively little cannon (mere pocket-pistols for +Bellona) which furnished the battery just below our stand, and which, as +soon as the unwieldy old warrioress had occupied the post of honor +reserved for her in their midst, sent forth a martial acclaim of welcome +that made the earth tremble under our feet, and resounded through the +air, shivering, with the strong concussion, more than one pane of glass +in the windows of Princess Street far below. + +Of Madame Catalani, all I can say is that I think she sang only "God +save the King" and "Rule Britannia" on the occasion on which I heard +her, which was that of her last public appearance in Edinburgh. I +remember only these, and think had she sung any thing else I could not +have forgotten it. She was quite an old woman, but still splendidly +handsome. Her magnificent dark hair and eyes, and beautiful arms, and +her blue velvet dress with a girdle flashing with diamonds, impressed me +almost as much as her singing; which, indeed, was rather a declamatory +and dramatic than a musical performance. The tones of her voice were +still fine and full, and the majestic action of her arms as she uttered +the words, "When Britain first arose from the waves," wonderfully +graceful and descriptive; still, I remember better that I _saw_, than +that I _heard_, Madame Catalani. She is the first of the queens of song +that I have seen ascend the throne of popular favor, in the course of +sixty years, and pretty little Adelina Patti the last; I have heard all +that have reigned between the two, and above them all Pasta appears to +me pre-eminent for musical and dramatic genius--alone and unapproached, +the muse of tragic song. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +I can not remember any event, or series of events, the influence of +which could, during my first stay in Edinburgh, have made a distinctly +serious or religious impression on my mind, or have directed my thoughts +especially toward the more solemn concerns and aspects of life. But from +some cause or other my mind became much affected at this time by +religious considerations, and a strong devotional element began to +predominate among my emotions and cogitations. In my childhood in my +father's house we had no special religious training; our habits were +those of average English Protestants of decent respectability. My mother +read the Bible to us in the morning before breakfast; Mrs. Trimmer's and +Mrs. Barbauld's Scripture histories and paraphrases were taught to us; +we learnt our catechism and collects, and went to church on Sunday, duly +and decorously, as a matter of course. Grace was always said before and +after meals by the youngest member of the family present; and I remember +a quaint, old-fashioned benediction which, when my father happened to be +at home at our bedtime, we used to kneel down by his chair to receive, +and with which he used to dismiss us for the night: "God bless you! make +you good, happy, healthy, and wise!" These, with our own daily morning +and evening prayers, were our devotional habits and pious practices. In +Mrs. Harry Siddons's house religion was never, I think, directly made a +subject of inculcation or discussion; the usual observances of Church of +England people were regularly fulfilled by all her family, the spirit of +true religion governed her life and all her home relations, but special, +direct reference to religious subjects was infrequent among us. God's +service in that house took the daily and hourly form of the +conscientious discharge of duty, unselfish, tender affection toward each +other, and kindly Christian charity toward all. At various times in my +life, when hearing discussions on the peculiar (technical, I should be +disposed to call it) profession and character supposed by some very good +people of a certain way of thinking to be the only indication of what +they considered real religion, I have remembered the serene, courageous +self-devotion of my dear friend, when, during a dangerous (as it was at +one time apprehended, fatal) illness of her youngest daughter, she would +leave her child's bedside to go to the theater, and discharge duties +never very attractive to her, and rendered distasteful then by cruel +anxiety, but her neglect of which would have injured the interests of +her brother, her fellow-actors, and all the poor people employed in the +theater, and been a direct infringement of her obligations to them. I +have wondered what amount of religion a certain class of "professing +Christians" would have allowed entered into that great effort. + +We attended habitually a small chapel served by the Rev. William +Shannon, an excellent but not exciting preacher, who was a devoted +friend of Mrs. Harry Siddons; and occasionally we went to Dr. Allison's +church and heard him--then an old man--preach, and sometimes his young +assistant, Mr. Sinclair, whose eloquent and striking sermons, which +impressed me much, were the only powerful direct appeals made to my +religious sentiments at that time. I rather incline to think that I had, +what a most unclerical young clergyman of my acquaintance once assured +me I had, a natural turn for religion. I think it not unlikely that a +great deal of the direct religious teaching and influences of my Paris +school-days was, as it were, coming up again to the surface of my mind, +and occupying my thoughts with serious reflections upon the most +important subjects. The freedom I enjoyed gave scope and leisure to my +character to develop and strengthen itself; and to the combined +healthful repose and activity of all my faculties, the absence of all +excitement and irritation from external influences, the pure moral +atmosphere and kindly affection by which I lived surrounded during this +happy year, I attribute whatever perception of, desire for, or endeavor +after goodness I was first consciously actuated by. In the rest and +liberty of my life at this time, I think, whatever was best in me had +the most favorable chance of growth, and I have remained ever grateful +to the wise forbearance of the gentle authority under which I lived, for +the benefit as well as the enjoyment I derived from the time I passed in +Edinburgh. + +I think that more harm is frequently done by over than by under culture +in the moral training of youth. Judicious _letting alone_ is a precious +element in real education, and there are certain chords which, often +touched and made to vibrate too early, are apt to lose instead of +gaining power; to grow first weakly and morbidly sensitive, and then +hard and dull; and finally, when the full harmony of the character +depends upon their truth and depth of tone, to have lost some measure of +both under repeated premature handling. + +I sometimes think that instead of beginning, as we do, with a whole +heaven-and-earth-embracing theory of duty to God and man, it might be +better to adopt with our children the method of dealing only with each +particular instance of moral obligation empirically as it occurs; with +each particular incident of life, detached, as it were, from the notion +of a formal system, code, or theory of religious belief, until the +recurrence of the same rules of morality under the same governing +principle, invoked only in immediate application to some instance of +conduct or incident of personal experience, built up by degrees a body +of precedent which would have the force and efficacy of law before it +was theoretically inculcated as such. Whoever said that principles were +_moral habits_ spoke, it seems to me, a valuable truth, not generally +sufficiently recognized or acted upon in the task of education. + +The only immediate result, that I can remember, of my graver turn of +thought at this time upon my conduct was a determination to give up +reading Byron's poetry. It was a great effort and a very great +sacrifice, for the delight I found in it was intense; but I was quite +convinced of its injurious effect upon me, and I came to the conclusion +that I would forego it. + +"Cain" and "Manfred" were more especially the poems that stirred my +whole being with a tempest of excitement that left me in a state of +mental perturbation impossible to describe for a long time after reading +them. I suppose the great genius touched in me the spirit of our time, +which, chit as I was, was common to us both; and the mere fact of my +being _un enfant du siècle_ rendered me liable to the infection of the +potent, proud, desponding bitterness of his writing. + +The spirit of an age creates the spirit that utters it, and though +Byron's genius stamped its impress powerfully upon the thought and +feeling of his contemporaries, he was himself, after all, but a sort of +quintessence of _them_, and gave them back only an intensified, +individual extract of themselves. The selfish vanity and profligate vice +which he combined with his extraordinary intellectual gifts were as +peculiar to himself as his great mental endowments; and though fools may +have followed the fashion of his follies, the heart of all Europe was +not stirred by a fashion of which he set the example, but by a passion +for which he found the voice, indeed, but of which the key-note lay in +the very temper of the time and the souls of the men of his day. Goethe, +Alfieri, Châteaubriand, each in his own language and with his peculiar +national and individual accent, uttered the same mind; they stamped +their own image and superscription upon the coin to which, by so doing, +they gave currency, but the mine from whence they drew their metal was +the civilized humanity of the nineteenth century. It is true that some +of Solomon's coining rings not unlike Goethe's and Byron's; but Solomon +forestalled his day by being _blasé_ before the nineteenth century. +Doubtless the recipe for that result has been the same for individuals +ever since the world rolled, but only here and there a great king, who +was also a great genius, possessed it in the earlier times; it took all +the ages that preceded it to make the _blasé_ age, and Byron, +pre-eminently, to speak its mind in English--which he had no sooner done +than every nineteenth-century shop-boy in England quoted Byron, wore his +shirt-collar open, and execrated his destiny. Doubtless by grace of his +free-will a man may wring every drop of sap out of his own soul and help +his fellows like-minded with himself to do the same; but the everlasting +spirit of truth renews the vitality of the world, and while Byron was +growling and howling, and Shelley was denying and defying, Scott was +telling and Wordsworth singing things beautiful and good, and new and +true. + +Certain it is, however, that the noble poet's glorious chanting of much +inglorious matter did me no good, and so I resolved to read that grand +poetry no more. It was a severe struggle, but I persevered in it for +more than two years, and had my reward; I broke through the thraldom of +that powerful spell, and all the noble beauty of those poems remained to +me thenceforth divested of the power of wild excitement they had +exercised over me. A great many years after this girlish effort and +sacrifice, Lady Byron, who was a highly esteemed friend of mine, spoke +to me upon the subject of a new and cheap edition of her husband's works +about to be published, and likely to be widely disseminated among the +young clerk and shopkeeper class of readers, for whom she deprecated +extremely the pernicious influence it was calculated to produce. She +consulted me on the expediency of appending to it some notice of Lord +Byron written by herself, which she thought might modify or lessen the +injurious effect of his poetry upon young minds. "Nobody," she said, +"knew him as I did" (this certainly was not the general impression upon +the subject); "nobody knew as well as I the causes that had made him +what he was; nobody, I think, is so capable of doing justice to him, and +therefore of counteracting the injustice he does to himself, and the +injury he might do to others, in some of his writings." I was strongly +impressed by the earnestness of her expression, which seemed to me one +of affectionate compassion for Byron and profound solicitude lest, even +in his grave, he should incur the responsibility of yet further evil +influence, especially on the minds of the young. I could not help +wondering, also, whether she did not shrink from being again, to a new +generation and a wider class of readers, held up to cruel ridicule and +condemnation as the cold-hearted, hard, pedantic prude, without sympathy +for suffering or relenting toward repentance. I had always admired the +reticent dignity of her silence with reference to her short and +disastrous union with Lord Byron, and I felt sorry, therefore, that she +contemplated departing from the course she had thus far steadfastly +pursued, though I appreciated the motive by which she was actuated. I +could not but think, however, that she overestimated the mischief +Byron's poetry was likely to do the young men of 1850, highly +prejudicial as it undoubtedly was to those of his day, illustrated, so +to speak, by the bad notoriety of his own character and career. But the +generation of English youth who had grown up with Thackeray, Dickens, +and Tennyson as their intellectual nourishment, seemed to me little +likely to be infected with Byronism, and might read his poetry with a +degree of impunity which the young people of his own time did not enjoy. +I urged this my conviction upon her, as rendering less necessary than +she imagined the antidote she was anxious to append to the poison of the +new edition of her husband's works. But to this she replied that she had +derived her impression of the probable mischief to a class peculiarly +interesting to him, from Frederick Robertson, and of course his opinion +was more than an overweight for mine. + +Lady Byron did not, however, fulfill her purpose of prefacing the +contemplated edition of Byron's poems with a notice of him by herself, +which I think very likely to have been a suggestion of Mr. Robertson's +to her. + +My happy year in Edinburgh ended, I returned to London, to our house in +James Street, Buckingham Gate, where I found my parents much burdened +with care and anxiety about the affairs of the theater, which were +rapidly falling into irretrievable embarrassment. My father toiled +incessantly, but the tide of ill-success and losing fortune had set +steadily against him, and the attempt to stem it became daily harder and +more hopeless. I used sometimes to hear some of the sorrowful details of +this dreary struggle, and I well remember the indignation and terror I +experienced when one day my father said at dinner, "I have had a new +experience to-day: I have been arrested for the first time in my life." +I believe my father was never personally in debt during all his life; he +said he never had been up to that day, and I am very sure he never was +afterward. Through all the severe labor of his professional life, and +his strenuous exertions to maintain his family and educate my brothers +like gentlemen, and my sister and myself with every advantage, he never +incurred the misery of falling into debt, but paid his way as he went +along, with difficulty, no doubt, but still steadily and successfully, +"owing no man any thing." But the suit in question was brought against +him as one of the proprietors of the theater, for a debt which the +theater owed; and, moreover, was that of a person whom he had befriended +and helped forward, and who had always professed the most sincere +gratitude and attachment to him. The constantly darkening prospects of +that unlucky theater threw a gloom over us all; sometimes my father used +to speak of selling his share in it for any thing he could get for it +(and Heaven knows it was not likely to be much!), and going to live +abroad; or sending my mother, with us, to live cheaply in the south of +France, while he continued to work in London. Neither alternative was +cheerful for him or my poor mother, and I felt very sorrowful for them, +though I thought I should like living in the south of France better than +in London. I was working with a good deal of enthusiasm at a tragedy on +the subject of Fiesco, the Genoese noble's conspiracy against the +Dorias--a subject which had made a great impression upon me when I first +read Schiller's noble play upon it. My own former fancy about going on +the stage, and passionate desire for a lonely, independent life in which +it had originated, had died away with the sort of moral and mental +effervescence which had subsided during my year's residence in +Edinburgh. Although all my sympathy with the anxieties of my parents +tended to make the theater an object of painful interest to me, and +though my own attempts at poetical composition were constantly cast in a +dramatic form, in spite of my enthusiastic admiration of Goethe's and +Schiller's plays (which, however, I could only read in French or English +translations, for I then knew no German) and my earnest desire to write +a good play myself, the idea of making the stage my profession had +entirely passed from my mind, which was absorbed with the wish and +endeavor to produce a good dramatic composition. The turn I had +exhibited for acting at school appeared to have evaporated, and Covent +Garden itself never occurred to me as a great institution for purposes +of art or enlightened public recreation, but only as my father's +disastrous property, to which his life was being sacrificed; and every +thought connected with it gradually became more and more distasteful to +me. It appears to me curious, that up to this time, I literally knew +nothing of Shakespeare, beyond having seen one or two of his plays +acted; I had certainly never read one of them through, nor did I do so +until some time later, when I began to have to learn parts in them by +heart. + +I think the rather serious bias which my mind had developed while I was +still in Scotland tended probably to my greater contentment in my home, +and to the total disinclination which I should certainly now have felt +for a life of public exhibition. My dramatic reading and writing was +curiously blended with a very considerable interest in literature of a +very different sort, and with the perusal of such works as Mason on +"Self-Knowledge," Newton's "Cardiphonia," and a great variety of sermons +and religious essays. My mother, observing my tendency to reading on +religious subjects, proposed to me to take my first communion. She was a +member of the Swiss Protestant Church, the excellent pastor of which, +the Rev. Mr. S----, was our near neighbor, and we were upon terms of the +friendliest intimacy with him and his family. In his church I received +the sacrament for the first time, but I do not think with the most +desirable effect. The only immediate result that I can remember of this +increase of my Christian profession and privileges was, I am sorry to +say, a rigid pharisaical formalism, which I carried so far as to decline +accompanying my father and mother to our worthy clergyman's house, one +Sunday, when we were invited to spend the evening with him and his +family. This sort of acrid fruit is no uncommon first harvest of +youthful religious zeal; and I suppose my parents and my worthy pastor +thought it a piece of unripe, childish, impertinent conscientiousness, +hardly deserving a serious rebuke. + +Another of my recollections which belong to this time is seeing several +times at our house that exceedingly coarse, disagreeable, clever, and +witty man, Theodore Hook. I always had a dread of his loud voice, and +blazing red face, and staring black eyes; especially as on more than one +occasion his after-dinner wit seemed to me fitter for the table he had +left than the more refined atmosphere of the drawing-room. One day he +dined with us to meet my cousin Horace Twiss and his handsome new wife. +Horace had in a lesser degree some of Hook's wonderful sense of humor +and quickness of repartee, and the two men brought each other out with +great effect. Of course I had heard of Mr. Hook's famous reply when, +after having returned from the colonies, where he was in an official +position, under suspicion of peculation, a friend meeting him said, +"Why, hallo, Hook! I did not know you were in England! What has brought +you back again?" "Something wrong about the _chest_," replied the +imperturbable wit. He was at this time the editor of the John Bull, a +paper of considerable ability, and only less scurrility than the _Age_; +and in spite of his _chest difficulty_ he was much sought in society for +his extraordinary quickness and happiness in conversation. His +outrageous hoax of the poor London citizen, from whom he extorted an +agonized invitation to dinner by making him believe that he and Charles +Mathews were public surveyors, sent to make observations for a new road, +which was to go straight through the poor shopkeeper's lawn, +flower-garden, and bedroom, he has, I believe, introduced into his novel +of "Gilbert Gurney." But not, of course, with the audacious +extemporaneous song with which he wound up the joke, when, having eaten +and drank the poor citizen's dinner, prepared for a small party of +citizen friends (all the time assuring him that he and his friend would +use their very best endeavors to avert the threatened invasion of his +property by the new line of road), he proposed singing a song, to the +great delight of the unsophisticated society, the concluding verse of +which was-- + + "And now I am bound to declare + That your wine is as good as your cook, + And that this is Charles Mathews, the player, + And I, sir, am Theodore Hook." + +He always demanded, when asked for a specimen of his extemporizing +power, that a subject should be given to him. I do not remember, on one +occasion, what was suggested in the first instance, but after some +discussion Horace Twiss cried out, "The Jews." It was the time of the +first mooting of the question of the Jews being admitted to stand for +Parliament and having seats in the House, and party spirit ran extremely +high upon the subject. Theodore Hook shrugged his shoulders and made a +discontented grimace, as if baffled by his theme, the Jews. However, he +went to the piano, threw back his head, and began strumming a galloping +country-dance tune, to which he presently poured forth the most +inconceivable string of witty, comical, humorous, absurd allusions to +everybody present as well as to the subject imposed upon him. Horace +Twiss was at that time under-secretary either for foreign affairs or the +colonies, and Hook took occasion to say, or rather sing, that the +foreign department could have little charms for a man who had so many +more in the home, with an indication to Annie Twiss; the final verse of +this real firework of wit was this-- + + "I dare say you think there's little wit + In this, but you've all forgot + That, instead of being a jeu d'esprit, + 'Tis only a jeu de mot," + +pronouncing the French words as broadly as possible, "a _Jew d'esprit_, +and 'tis only a _Jew de motte_," for the sake of the rhyme, and his +subject, the Jews. It certainly was all through a capital specimen of +ready humor. I remember on another occasion hearing him exercise his +singular gift in a manner that seemed to me as unjustifiable as it was +disagreeable. I met him at dinner at Sir John McDonald's, then +adjutant-general, a very kind and excellent friend of mine. Mrs. Norton +and Lord C----, who were among the guests, both came late, and after we +had gone into the dining-room, where they were received with a discreet +quantity of mild chaff, Mrs. Norton being much too formidable an +adversary to be challenged lightly. After dinner, however, when the men +came up into the drawing-room, Theodore Hook was requested to +extemporize, and having sung one song, was about to leave the piano in +the midst of the general entreaty that he would not do so, when Mrs. +Norton, seating herself close to the instrument so that he could not +leave it, said, in her most peculiar, deep, soft, contralto voice, which +was like her beautiful dark face set to music, "I am going to sit down +here, and you shall not come away, for I will keep you in like an iron +crow." There was nothing about her manner or look that could suggest any +thing but a flattering desire to enjoy Hook's remarkable talent in some +further specimen of his power of extemporizing, and therefore I suppose +there must have been some previous ill-will or heart-burning on his part +toward her--she was reckless enough in her use of her wonderful wit and +power of saying the most intolerable stinging things, to have left a +smart on some occasion in Hook's memory, for which he certainly did his +best to pay her then. Every verse of the song he now sang ended with his +turning with a bow to her, and the words, "my charming iron crow;" but +it was from beginning to end a covert satire of her and her social +triumphs; even the late arrival at dinner and its supposed causes were +duly brought in, still with the same mock-respectful inclination to his +"charming iron crow." Everybody was glad when the song was over, and +applauded it quite as much from a sense of relief as from admiration of +its extraordinary cleverness; and Mrs. Norton smilingly thanked Hook, +and this time made way for him to leave the piano. + +We lived near each other at this time, we in James Street, Buckingham +Gate, and the Nortons at Storey's Gate, at the opposite end of the +Birdcage Walk. We both of us frequented the same place of worship--a +tiny chapel wedged in among the buildings at the back of Downing Street, +the entrance to which was from the park; it has been improved away by +the new government offices. Our dinner at the McDonalds' was on a +Saturday, and the next day, as we were walking part of the way home +together from church, Mrs. Norton broke out about Theodore Hook and his +odious ill-nature and abominable coarseness, saying that it was a +disgrace and a shame that for the sake of his paper, the _John Bull_, +and its influence, the Tories should receive such a man in society. I, +who but for her outburst upon the subject should have carefully avoided +mentioning Hook's name, presuming that after his previous evening's +performance it could not be very agreeable to Mrs. Norton, now, not +knowing very well what to say, but thinking the Sheridan blood +(especially in her veins) might have some sympathy with and find some +excuse for him, suggested the temptation that the possession of such wit +must always be, more or less, to the abuse of it. "Witty!" exclaimed the +indignant beauty, with her lip and nostril quivering, "witty! One may +well be witty when one fears neither God nor devil!" I was heartily glad +Hook was not there; he was not particular about the truth, and would +infallibly, in some shape or other, have translated for her benefit, "Je +crains Dieu, cher Abner, et n'ai point d'autre crainte." + +The Nortons' house was close to the issue from St. James's Park into +Great George Street. I remember passing an evening with them there, when +a host of distinguished public and literary men were crowded into their +small drawing-room, which was literally resplendent with the light of +Sheridan beauty, male and female: Mrs. Sheridan (Miss Callender, of +whom, when she published a novel, the hero of which commits forgery, +that wicked wit, Sidney Smith, said he knew she was a Callender, but did +not know till then that she was a Newgate calendar), the mother of the +Graces, more beautiful than anybody but her daughters; Lady Grahame, +their beautiful aunt; Mrs. Norton, Mrs. Blackwood (Lady Dufferin), +Georgiana Sheridan (Duchess of Somerset and queen of beauty by universal +consent), and Charles Sheridan, their younger brother, a sort of younger +brother of the Apollo Belvedere. Certainly I never saw such a bunch of +beautiful creatures all growing on one stem. I remarked it to Mrs. +Norton, who looked complacently round her tiny drawing-room and said, +"Yes, we are rather good-looking people." I remember this evening +because of the impression made on me by the sight of these wonderfully +"good-looking people" all together, and also because of my having had to +sing with Moore--an honor and glory hardly compensating the distress of +semi-strangulation, in order to avoid drowning his feeble thread of a +voice with the heavy, robust contralto which I found it very difficult +to swallow half of, while singing second to him, in his own melodies, +with the other half. My acquaintance with Mrs. Norton lasted through a +period of many years, and, though never very intimate, was renewed with +cordiality each time I returned to England. It began just after I came +out on the stage, when I was about twenty, and she a few years older. My +father and mother had known her parents and grandparents, Richard +Brinsley Sheridan and Miss Lindley, from whom their descendants derived +the remarkable beauty and brilliant wit which distinguished them. + +My mother was at Drury Lane when Mr. Sheridan was at the head of its +administration, and has often described to me the extraordinary +proceedings of that famous first night of "Pizarro," when, at last +keeping the faith he had so often broken with the public, Mr. Sheridan +produced that most effective of melodramas, with my aunt and uncle's +parts still unfinished, and, depending upon their extraordinary rapidity +of study, kept them learning the last scenes of the last act, which he +was still writing, while the beginning of the piece was being performed. +By the by, I do not know what became of the theories about the dramatic +art, and the careful and elaborate study necessary for its perfection. +In this particular instance John Kemble's Rolla and Mrs. Siddons's +Elvira must have been what may be called extemporaneous acting. Not +impossibly, however, these performances may have gained in vivid power +and effect what they lost in smoothness and finish, from the very +nervous strain and excitement of such a mental effort as the actors were +thus called upon to make. My mother remembered well, too, the dismal +Saturdays when, after prolonged periods of non-payment of their +salaries, the poorer members of the company, and all the unfortunate +work-people, carpenters, painters, scene-shifters, understrappers of all +sorts, and plebs in general of the great dramatic concern, thronging the +passages and staircases, would assail Sheridan on his way to the +treasury with pitiful invocations: "For God's sake, Mr. Sheridan, pay us +our salaries!" "For Heaven's sake, Mr. Sheridan, let us have something +this week!" and his plausible reply of, "Certainly, certainly, my good +people, you shall be attended to directly." Then he would go into the +treasury, sweep it clean of the whole week's receipts (the salaries of +the principal actors, whom he dared not offend and could not dispense +with, being, if not wholly, partially paid), and, going out of the +building another way, leave the poor people who had cried to him for +their arrears of wages baffled and cheated of the price of their labor +for another week. The picture was not a pleasant one. + +When I first knew Caroline Sheridan, she had not long been married to +the Hon. George Norton. She was splendidly handsome, of an un-English +character of beauty, her rather large and heavy head and features +recalling the grandest Grecian and Italian models, to the latter of whom +her rich coloring and blue-black braids of hair gave her an additional +resemblance. Though neither as perfectly lovely as the Duchess of +Somerset, nor as perfectly charming as Lady Dufferin, she produced a far +more striking impression than either of them, by the combination of the +poetical genius with which she alone, of the three, was gifted, with the +brilliant wit and power of repartee which they (especially Lady +Dufferin) possessed in common with her, united to the exceptional beauty +with which they were all three endowed. Mrs. Norton was extremely +epigrammatic in her talk, and comically dramatic in her manner of +narrating things. I do not know whether she had any theatrical talent, +though she sang pathetic and humorous songs admirably, and I remember +shaking in my shoes when, soon after I came out, she told me she envied +me, and would give anything to try the stage herself. I thought, as I +looked at her wonderful, beautiful face, "Oh, if you should, what would +become of me!" She was no musician, but had a deep, sweet contralto +voice, precisely the same in which she always spoke, and which, combined +with her always lowered eyelids ("downy eyelids" with sweeping silken +fringes), gave such incomparably comic effect to her sharp retorts and +ludicrous stories; and she sang with great effect her own and Lady +Dufferin's social satires, "Fanny Grey," and "Miss Myrtle," etc., and +sentimental songs like "Would I were with Thee," "I dreamt 'twas but a +Dream," etc., of which the words were her own, and the music, which only +amounted to a few chords with the simplest modulations, her own also. I +remember she used occasionally to convulse her friends _en petit comité_ +with a certain absurd song called "The Widow," to all intents and +purposes a piece of broad comedy, the whole story of which (the wooing +of a disconsolate widow by a rich lover, whom she first rejects and then +accepts) was comprised in a few words, rather spoken than sung, eked out +by a ludicrous burden of "rum-ti-iddy-iddy-iddy-ido," which, by dint of +her countenance and voice, conveyed all the alternations of the widow's +first despair, her lover's fiery declaration, her virtuous indignation +and wrathful rejection of him, his cool acquiescence and intimation that +his full purse assured him an easy acceptance in various other quarters, +her rage and disappointment at his departure, and final relenting and +consent on his return; all of which with her "iddy-iddy-ido" she sang, +or rather acted, with incomparable humor and effect. I admired her +extremely. + +In 1841 I began a visit of two years and a half in England. During this +time I constantly met Mrs. Norton in society. She was living with her +uncle, Charles Sheridan, and still maintained her glorious supremacy of +beauty and wit in the great London world. She came often to parties at +our house, and I remember her asking us to dine at her uncle's, when +among the people we met were Lord Lansdowne and Lord Normanby, both then +in the ministry, whose good-will and influence she was exerting herself +to _captivate_ in behalf of a certain shy, silent, rather rustic +gentleman from the far-away province of New Brunswick, Mr. Samuel Cunard, +afterwards Sir Samuel Cunard of the great mail-packet line of steamers +between England and America. He had come to London an obscure and humble +individual, endeavoring to procure from the government the sole privilege +of carrying the transatlantic mails for his line of steamers. Fortunately +for him he had some acquaintance with Mrs. Norton, and the powerful +beauty, who was kind-hearted and good-natured to all but her natural +enemies (i.e. the members of her own London society), exerted all her +interest with her admirers in high place in favor of Cunard, and had made +this very dinner for the express purpose of bringing her provincial +_protégé_ into pleasant personal relations with Lord Lansdowne and Lord +Normanby, who were likely to be of great service to him in the special +object which had brought him to England. The only other individual I +remember at the dinner was that most beautiful person, Lady Harriet +d'Orsay. Years after, when the Halifax projector had become Sir Samuel +Cunard, a man of fame in the worlds of commerce and business of New York +and London, a baronet of large fortune, and a sort of proprietor of the +Atlantic Ocean between England and the United States, he reminded me of +this charming dinner in which Mrs. Norton had so successfully found the +means of forwarding his interests, and spoke with enthusiasm of her +kind-heartedness as well as her beauty and talents; he, of course, passed +under the Caudine Forks, beneath which all men encountering her had to +bow and throw down their arms. She was very fond of inventing devices for +seals, and other such ingenious exercises of her brains, and she gave +---- a star with the motto, "Procul sed non extincta," which she civilly +said bore reference to me in my transatlantic home. She also told me, +when we were talking of mottoes for seals and rings, that she had had +engraved on a ring she always wore the name of that miserable bayou of +the Mississippi--Atchafalaya--where Gabriel passes near one side of an +island, while Evangeline, in her woe-begone search, is lying asleep on +the other; and that, to her surprise, she found that the King of the +Belgians wore a ring on which he had had the same word engraved, as an +expression of the bitterest and most hopeless disappointment. + +In 1845 I passed through London, and spent a few days there with my +father, on my way to Italy. Mrs. Norton, hearing of my being in town, +came to see me, and urged me extremely to go and dine with her before I +left London, which I did. The event of the day in her society was the +death of Lady Holland, about which there were a good many lamentations, +of which Lady T---- gave the real significance, with considerable +_naïveté_: "Ah, poore deare Ladi Ollande! It is a grate pittie; it was +suche a _pleasant 'ouse!_" As I had always avoided Lady Holland's +acquaintance, I could merely say that the regrets I heard expressed +about her seemed to me only to prove a well-known fact--how soon the +dead were forgotten. The _real_ sorrow was indeed for the loss of her +house, that pleasantest of all London rendezvouses, and not for its +mistress, though those whom I then heard speak were probably among the +few who did regret her. Lady Holland had one good quality (perhaps more +than one, which I might have found out if I had known her): she was a +constant and exceedingly warm friend, and extended her regard and +remembrance to all whom Lord Holland or herself had ever received with +kindness or on a cordial footing. My brother John had always been +treated with great friendliness by Lord Holland, and in her will Lady +Holland, who had not seen him for years, left him as a memento a copy, +in thirty-two volumes, of the English essayists, which had belonged to +her husband. + +Almost immediately after this transient renewal of my intercourse with +Mrs. Norton, I left England for Italy, and did not see her again for +several years. The next time I did so was at an evening party at my +sister's house, where her appearance struck me more than it had ever +done. Her dress had something to do with this effect, no doubt. She had +a rich gold-colored silk on, shaded and softened all over with black +lace draperies, and her splendid head, neck, and arms were adorned with +magnificently simple Etruscan gold ornaments, which she had brought from +Rome, whence she had just returned, and where the fashion of that famous +antique jewelry had lately been revived. She was still "une beauté +triomphante à faire voir aux ambassadeurs." + +During one of my last sojourns in London I met Mrs. Norton at Lansdowne +House. There was a great assembly there, and she was wandering through +the rooms leaning on the arm of her youngest son, her glorious head +still crowned with its splendid braids of hair, and wreathed with grapes +and ivy leaves, and this was my last vision of her; but, in the autumn +of 1870, Lady C---- told me of meeting her in London society, now indeed +quite old, but indomitably handsome and witty. + +I think it only humane to state, for the benefit of all mothers anxious +for their daughters', and all daughters anxious for their own, future +welfare in this world, that in the matter of what the lady's-maid in the +play calls "the first of earthly blessings--personal appearance," +Caroline Sheridan as a girl was so little distinguished by the +exceptional beauty she subsequently developed, that her lovely mother, +who had a right to be exacting in the matter, entertained occasionally +desponding misgivings as to the future comeliness of one of the most +celebrated beauties of her day. + +At the time of my earliest acquaintance with the Nortons, our friends +the Basil Montagus had left their house in Bedford Square, and were also +living at Storey's Gate. Among the remarkable people I met at their +house was the Indian rajah, Ramohun Roy, philosopher, scholar, reformer, +Quaker, theist, I know not what and what not, who was introduced to me, +and was kind enough to take some notice of me. He talked to me of the +literature of his own country, especially its drama, and, finding that I +was already acquainted with the Hindoo theatre through the medium of my +friend Mr. Horace Wilson's translations of its finest compositions, but +that I had never read "Sakuntalà," the most remarkable of them all, +which Mr. Wilson had not included in his collection (I suppose because +of its translation by Sir William Jones), Ramohun Roy sent me a copy of +it, which I value extremely as a memento of so remarkable a man, but in +which I confess I am utterly unable to find the extraordinary beauty and +sublimity which he attributed to it, and of which I remember Goethe also +speaks enthusiastically (if I am not mistaken, in his conversations with +Eckermann), calling it the most wonderful production of human genius. +Goethe had not, any more than myself, the advantage of reading +"Sakuntalà" in Sanskrit, and I am quite at a loss to account for the +extreme and almost exaggerated admiration he expresses for it. + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, August 23, ----. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received your last on my return from the country, where I had + been staying a fortnight, and I assure you that after an + uncomfortable and rainy drive into town I found it of more service + in warming me than even the blazing fire with which we are obliged + to shame the month of August. + + I have a great deal to tell you about our affairs, and the effect + that their unhappy posture seems likely to produce upon my future + plans and prospects. Do you remember a letter I wrote to you a long + time ago about going on the stage? and another, some time before + that, about my becoming a governess? The urgent necessity which I + think now exists for exertion, in all those who are capable of it + among us, has again turned my thoughts to these two considerations. + My father's property, and all that we might ever have hoped to + derive from it, being utterly destroyed in the unfortunate issue of + our affairs, his personal exertions are all that remain to him and + us to look to. There are circumstances in which reflections that + our minds would not admit at other times of necessity force + themselves upon our consideration. Those talents and + qualifications, both mental and physical, which have been so + mercifully preserved to my dear father hitherto, cannot, in the + natural course of things, all remain unimpaired for many more + years. It is right, then, that those of us who have the power to do + so should at once lighten his arms of all unnecessary burden, and + acquire the habit of independent exertion before the moment comes + when utter inexperience would add to the difficulty of adopting any + settled mode of proceeding; it is right and wise to prepare for the + evil day before it is upon us. These reflections have led me to the + resolution of entering upon some occupation or profession which may + enable me to turn the advantages my father has so liberally + bestowed upon me to some account, so as not to be a useless + incumbrance to him at present, or a helpless one in future time. My + brother John, you know, has now determined, to go into the Church. + Henry we have good although remote hopes of providing well for, + and, were I to make use of my own capabilities, dear little A---- + would be the only one about whom there need be any anxiety. I + propose writing to my father before he returns home (he is at + present acting in the provinces) on this subject. Some step I am + determined to take; the nature of it will, of course, remain with + him and my mother. I trust that whatever course they resolve upon I + shall be enabled to pursue steadily, and I am sure that, be it what + it may, I shall find it comparatively easy, as the motive is + neither my own profit nor reputation, but the desire of bringing + into their right use whatever talents I may possess, which have not + been given for useless purposes. I hope and trust that I am better + fitted for either of the occupations I have mentioned than I was + when I before entertained an idea of them. You asked me what + inclined John's thoughts to the Church. It would be hard to say; or + rather, I ought to say, that Providence which in its own good time + makes choice of its instruments, and which I ever firmly trusted + would not suffer my brother's fine powers to be wasted on unworthy + aims. I am not able to say how the change which has taken place in + his opinions and sentiments was effected; but you know one has not + done _all_ one's thinking at two and twenty. I have been by + circumstances much separated from my brother, and when with him + have had but little communication upon such subjects. It was at a + time when, I think, his religious principles were somewhat + unsettled, that his mind was so passionately absorbed by politics. + The nobler instincts of his nature, diverted for a while from due + direct intercourse with their divine source, turned themselves with + enthusiastic, earnest hope to the desire of benefiting his + fellow-creatures; and to these aims--the reformation of abuses, the + establishment of a better system of government, the gradual + elevation and improvement of the people, and the general progress + of the country towards enlightened liberty and consequent + prosperity--he devoted all his thoughts. This was the period of his + fanatical admiration for Jeremy Bentham and Mill, who, you know, + are our near neighbors here, and whose houses we never pass without + John being inclined to salute them, I think, as the shrines of some + beneficent powers of renovation. And here comes the break in our + intercourse and in my knowledge of his mental and moral progress. I + went to Scotland, and was amazed, after I had been there some time, + to hear from my mother that John had not got his scholarship, and + had renounced his intention of going to the bar and determined to + study for the Church. I returned home, and found him much changed. + His high sense of the duties attending it makes me rejoice most + sincerely that he has chosen that career, which may not be the + surest path to worldly advancement, but if conscientiously followed + must lead, I should think, to the purest happiness this life can + offer. I think much of this change may be attributed to the example + and influence of some deservedly dear friends of his; probably + something to the sobering effect of the disappointment and + mortification of his failure at college, where such sanguine hopes + and expectations of his success had been entertained. Above all, I + refer his present purpose to that higher influence which has + followed him through all his mental wanderings, suggesting the + eager inquiries of his restless and dissatisfied spirit, and + finally leading it to this, its appointed goal. He writes to us in + high spirits from Germany, and his letters are very delightful. + + Mrs. Siddons and Cecy are with Mrs. Kemble at Leamington. Mrs. + Harry Siddons is, I fear, but little better; she has had another + attack of erysipelas, and I am very anxious to get to her, but the + distance, and the dependence of all interesting young females in + London on the legs and leisure of chaperons, prevents me from + seeing her as often as I wish. + + German is an arduous undertaking, and I have once more abandoned + it, not only on account of its difficulty, but because I do not at + present wish to enter upon the study of a foreign language, when I + am but just awakened to my radical ignorance of my own. God bless + you, dear H----. + + Yours ever, + FANNY. + +As long as I retained a home of my own, I resisted my friend's +half-expressed wish that I should destroy her letters; but when I ceased +to have any settled place of habitation, it became impossible to provide +for the safe-keeping of a mass of papers the accumulation of which +received additions every few days, and by degrees (for my courage failed +me very often in the task) my friend's letters were destroyed. Few +things that I have had to relinquish have cost me a greater pang or +sense of loss, and few of the conditions of my wandering life have +seemed to me more grievous than the necessity it imposed upon me of +destroying these letters. My friend did not act upon her own theory with +regard to my correspondence, and indeed it seems to me that no general +rule can be given with regard to the preservation or destruction of +correspondence. What revelations of misery and guilt may lie in the +forgotten folds of hoarded letters, that have been preserved only to +blast the memory of the dead! What precious words, again, have been +destroyed, that might have lightened for a whole heavy lifetime the +doubt and anguish of the living! In this, as in all we do, we grope +about in darkness, and the one and the other course must often enough +have been bitterly lamented by those who "did for the best" in keeping +or destroying these chronicles of human existence. + +Madame Pasta's daughter once said to Charles Young, who enthusiastically +admired her great genius, "Vous trouvez qu'elle chante et joue bien, +n'est-ce pas?" "Je crois bien," replied he, puzzled to understand her +drift. "Well," replied the daughter of the great lyrical artist, "to us, +to whom she belongs, and who know and love her, her great talent is the +least admirable thing about her; but no one but us knows that." + +Doubtless if letters of Shakespeare's could be found, letters developing +the mystery of those sorrowful sonnets, or even letters describing his +daily dealings with his children, and Mistress Anne Hathaway, his wife; +nay, even the fashion, color, and texture of the hangings of "the +second-best bed," her special inheritance, a frenzy of curiosity would +be aroused by them. All his glorious plays would not be worth +(bookseller's value) some scraps of thought and feeling, or mere +personal detail, or even commonplace (he must have been sovereignly +commonplace) impartment of theatrical business news and gossip to his +fellow-players, or Scotch Drummond, or my Lord Southampton, or the Dark +Woman of the sonnets. But we know little about him, thank Heaven! and I +am glad that little is not more. + +I know he must have sinned and suffered, mortal man since he was, but I +do not wish to know how. From his plays, in spite of the necessarily +impersonal character of dramatic composition, we gather a vivid and +distinct impression of serene sweetness, wisdom, and power. In the +fragment of personal history which he gives us in his sonnets, the +reverse is the case; we have a painful impression of mournful struggling +with adverse circumstances and moral evil elements, and of the labor and +the love of his life alike bestowed on objects deemed by himself +unworthy; and in spite of his triumphant promise of immortality to the +false mistress or friend, or both, to whom (as far as he has revealed +them to us) he has kept his promise, we fall to pitying Shakespeare, the +bestower of immortality. In the great temple raised by his genius to his +own undying glory, one narrow door opens into a secret, silent crypt, +where his image, blurred and indistinct, is hardly discernible through +the gloomy atmosphere, heavy and dim as if with sighs and tears. Here is +no clew, no issue, and we return to the shrine filled with light and +life and warmth and melody; with knowledge and love of man, and worship +of God and nature. There is our benefactor and friend, simplest and most +lovable, though most wonderful of his kind; other image of him than that +bright one may the world never know! + +The extraordinary development of the taste for petty details of personal +gossip which our present literature bears witness to makes it almost a +duty to destroy all letters not written for publication; and yet there +is no denying that life is essentially interesting--every life, any +life, all lives, if their detailed history could be given with truth and +simplicity. For my own part, I confess that the family correspondence, +even of people utterly unknown to me, always seems to me full of +interest. The vivid interest the writers took in themselves makes their +letters better worth reading than many books we read; they are life, as +compared with imitations of it--life, that mystery and beauty surpassing +every other; they are morsels of that profoundest of all secrets, which +baffles alike the man of science, the metaphysician, artist, and poet. +And yet it would be hard if A, B, and C's letters should therefore be +published, especially as, had they contemplated my reading them, they +would doubtless never have written them, or written them quite other +than they did. + +To resume my chronicle. My brother John was at this time traveling in +Germany; the close of his career at Cambridge had proved a bitter +disappointment to my father, and had certainly not fulfilled the +expectations of any of his friends or the promise of his own very +considerable abilities. He left the university without taking his +degree, and went to Heidelberg, where he laid the foundation of his +subsequent thorough knowledge of German, and developed the taste for the +especial philological studies to which he eventually devoted himself, +but his eminence in which brought him little emolument and but tardy +fame, and never in the least consoled my father for the failure of all +the brilliant hopes he had formed of the future distinction and fortune +of his eldest son. When a man has made up his mind that his son is to be +Lord Chancellor of England, he finds it hardly an equivalent that he +should be one of the first Anglo-Saxon scholars in Europe. + +In my last letter to Miss S---- I have referred to some of my brother's +friends and their possible influence in determining his choice of the +clerical profession in preference to that of the law, which my father +had wished him to adopt, and for which, indeed, he had so far shown his +own inclination as to have himself entered at the Inner Temple. + +Among my brother's contemporaries, his school and college mates who +frequented my father's house at this time, were Arthur Hallam, Alfred +Tennyson and his brothers, Frederick Maurice, John Sterling, Richard +Trench, William Donne, the Romillys, the Malkins, Edward Fitzgerald, +James Spedding, William Thackeray, and Richard Monckton Milnes. + +These names were those of "promising young men," our friends and +companions, whose various remarkable abilities we learned to estimate +through my brother's enthusiastic appreciation of them. How bright has +been, in many instances, the full performance of that early promise, +England has gratefully acknowledged; they have been among the jewels of +their time, and some of their names will be famous and blessed for +generations to come. It is not for me to praise those whom all +English-speaking folk delight to honor; but in thinking of that bright +band of very noble young spirits, of my brother's love and admiration +for them, of their affection for him, of our pleasant intercourse in +those far-off early days,--in spite of the faithful, life-long regard +which still subsists between myself and the few survivors of that goodly +company, my heart sinks with a heavy sense of loss, and the world from +which so much light has departed seems dark and dismal enough. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +Alfred Tennyson had only just gathered his earliest laurels. My brother +John gave me the first copy of his poems I ever possessed, with a +prophecy of his future fame and excellence written on the fly-leaf of +it. I have never ceased to exult in my possession of that copy of the +first edition of those poems, which became the songs of our every day +and every hour, almost; we delighted in them and knew them by heart, and +read and said them over and over again incessantly; they were our +pictures, our music, and infinite was the scorn and indignation with +which we received the slightest word of adverse criticism upon them. I +remember Mrs. Milman, one evening at my father's house, challenging me +laughingly about my enthusiasm for Tennyson, and asking me if I had read +a certain severely caustic and condemnatory article in the _Quarterly_ +upon his poems. "Have you read it?" said she; "it is so amusing! Shall I +send it to you?" "No, thank you," said I; "have you read the poems, may +I ask?" "I cannot say that I have," said she, laughing. "Oh, then," said +I (not laughing), "perhaps it would be better that I should send you +those?" + +It has always been incomprehensible to me how the author of those poems +ever brought himself to alter them, as he did, in so many instances--all +(as it seemed to me) for the worse rather than the better. I certainly +could hardly love his verses better than he did himself, but the various +changes he made in them have always appeared to me cruel disfigurements +of the original thoughts and expressions, which were to me treasures not +to be touched even by his hand; and his changing lines which I thought +perfect, omitting beautiful stanzas that I loved, and interpolating +others that I hated, and disfiguring and maiming his own exquisite +creations with second thoughts (none of which were best to me), has +caused me to rejoice, while I mourn, over my copy of the first version +of "The May Queen," "OEnone," "The Miller's Daughter," and all the +subsequent _improved_ poems, of which the improvements were to me +desecrations. In justice to Tennyson, I must add that the present +generation of his readers swear by _their_ version of his poems as we +did by ours, for the same reason,--they knew it first. + +The early death of Arthur Hallam, and the imperishable monument of love +raised by Tennyson's genius to his memory, have tended to give him a +pre-eminence among the companions of his youth which I do not think his +abilities would have won for him had he lived; though they were +undoubtedly of a high order. There was a gentleness and purity almost +virginal in his voice, manner, and countenance; and the upper part of +his face, his forehead and eyes (perhaps in readiness for his early +translation), wore the angelic radiance that they still must wear in +heaven. Some time or other, at some rare moments of the divine spirit's +supremacy in our souls, we all put on the heavenly face that will be +ours hereafter, and for a brief lightning space our friends behold us as +we shall look when this mortal has put on immortality. On Arthur +Hallam's brow and eyes this heavenly light, so fugitive on other human +faces, rested habitually, as if he was thinking and seeing in heaven. + +Of all those very remarkable young men, John Sterling was by far the +most brilliant and striking in his conversation, and the one of whose +future eminence we should all of us have augured most confidently. But +though his life was cut off prematurely, it was sufficiently prolonged +to disprove this estimate of his powers. The extreme vividness of his +look, manner, and speech gave a wonderful impression of latent vitality +and power; perhaps some of this lambent, flashing brightness may have +been but the result of the morbid physical conditions of his existence, +like the flush on his cheek and the fire in his eye; the over stimulated +and excited intellectual activity, the offspring of disease, mistaken by +us for morning instead of sunset splendor, promise of future light and +heat instead of prognostication of approaching darkness and decay. It +certainly has always struck me as singular that Sterling, who in his +life accomplished so little and left so little of the work by which men +are generally pronounced to be gifted with exceptional ability, should +have been the subject of two such interesting biographies as those +written of him by Julius Hare and Carlyle. I think he must have been one +of those persons in whom genius makes itself felt and acknowledged +chiefly through the medium of personal intercourse; a not infrequent +thing, I think, with women, and perhaps men, wanting the full vigor of +normal health. I suppose it is some failure not so much in the power +possessed as in the power of producing it in a less evanescent form than +that of spoken words, and the looks that with such organizations are +more than the words themselves. Sterling's genius was his _Wesen_, +himself, and he could detach no portion of it that retained anything +like the power and beauty one would have expected. After all, the world +has twice been moved (once intellectually and once morally), as never +before or since, by those whose spoken words, gathered up by others, are +all that remain of them. Personal influence is the strongest and the +most subtle of powers, and Sterling impressed all who knew him as a man +of undoubted genius; those who never knew him will perhaps always wonder +why. + +My life was rather sad at this time: my brother's failure at college was +a source of disappointment and distress to my parents; and I, who +admired him extremely, and believed in him implicitly, was grieved at +his miscarriage and his absence from England; while the darkening +prospects of the theater threw a gloom over us all. My hitherto frequent +interchange of letters with my dear friend H---- S---- had become +interrupted and almost suspended by the prolonged and dangerous illness +of her brother; and I was thrown almost entirely upon myself, and was +finding my life monotonously dreary, when events occurred that changed +its whole tenor almost suddenly, and determined my future career with +less of deliberation than would probably have satisfied either my +parents or myself under less stringent circumstances. + +It was in the autumn of 1829, my father being then absent on a +professional tour in Ireland, that my mother, coming in from walking one +day, threw herself into a chair and burst into tears. She had been +evidently much depressed for some time past, and I was alarmed at her +distress, of which I begged her to tell me the cause. "Oh, it has come +at last," she answered; "our property is to be sold. I have seen that +fine building all covered with placards and bills of sale; the theater +must be closed, and I know not how many hundred poor people will be +turned adrift without employment!" I believed the theater employed +regularly seven hundred persons in all its different departments, +without reckoning the great number of what were called supernumeraries, +who were hired by the night at Christmas, Easter, and on all occasions +of any specially showy spectacle. Seized with a sort of terror, like the +Lady of Shallott, that "the curse had come upon me," I comforted my +mother with expressions of pity and affection, and, as soon as I left +her, wrote a most urgent entreaty to my father that he would allow me to +act for myself, and seek employment as a governess, so as to relieve him +at once at least of the burden of my maintenance. I brought this letter +to my mother, and begged her permission to send it, to which she +consented; but, as I afterward learned, she wrote by the same post to my +father, requesting him not to give a positive answer to my letter until +his return to town. The next day she asked me whether I seriously +thought I had any real talent for the stage. My school-day triumphs in +Racine's "Andromaque" were far enough behind me, and I could only +answer, with as much perplexity as good faith, that I had not the +slightest idea whether I had or not. She begged me to learn some part +and say it to her, that she might form some opinion of my power, and I +chose Shakespeare's Portia, then, as now, my ideal of a perfect +woman--the wise, witty woman, loving with all her soul and submitting +with all her heart to a man whom everybody but herself (who was the best +judge) would have judged her inferior; the laughter-loving, +light-hearted, true-hearted, deep-hearted woman, full of keen +perception, of active efficiency, of wisdom prompted by love, of +tenderest unselfishness, of generous magnanimity; noble, simple, humble, +pure; true, dutiful, religious, and full of fun; delightful above all +others, the woman of women. Having learned it by heart, I recited Portia +to my mother, whose only comment was, "There is hardly passion enough in +this part to test any tragic power. I wish you would study Juliet for +me." Study to me then, as unfortunately long afterward, simply meant to +learn by heart, which I did again, and repeated my lesson to my mother, +who again heard me without any observation whatever. Meantime my father +returned to town and my letter remained unanswered, and I was wondering +in my mind what reply I should receive to my urgent entreaty, when one +morning my mother told me she wished me to recite Juliet to my father; +and so in the evening I stood up before them both, and with +indescribable trepidation repeated my first lesson in tragedy. + +They neither of them said anything beyond "Very well,--very nice, my +dear," with many kisses and caresses, from which I escaped to sit down +on the stairs half-way between the drawing-room and my bedroom, and get +rid of the repressed nervous fear I had struggled with while reciting, +in floods of tears. A few days after this my father told me he wished to +take me to the theater with him to try whether my voice was of +sufficient strength to fill the building; so thither I went. That +strange-looking place, the stage, with its racks of pasteboard and +canvas--streets, forests, banqueting-halls, and dungeons--drawn apart on +either side, was empty and silent; not a soul was stirring in the +indistinct recesses of its mysterious depths, which seemed to stretch +indefinitely behind me. In front, the great amphitheater, equally empty +and silent, wrapped in its gray holland covers, would have been +absolutely dark but for a long, sharp, thin shaft of light that darted +here and there from some height and distance far above me, and alighted +in a sudden, vivid spot of brightness on the stage. Set down in the +midst of twilight space, as it were, with only my father's voice coming +to me from where he stood hardly distinguishable in the gloom, in those +poetical utterances of pathetic passion I was seized with the spirit of +the thing; my voice resounded through the great vault above and before +me, and, completely carried away by the inspiration of the wonderful +play, I acted Juliet as I do not believe I ever acted it again, for I +had no visible Romeo, and no audience to thwart my imagination; at +least, I had no consciousness of any, though in truth I had one. In the +back of one of the private boxes, commanding the stage but perfectly +invisible to me, sat an old and warmly attached friend of my father's, +Major D----, a man of the world--of London society,--a passionate lover +of the stage, an amateur actor of no mean merit, one of the members of +the famous Cheltenham dramatic company, a first-rate critic in all +things connected with art and literature, a refined and courtly, +courteous gentleman; the best judge, in many respects, that my father +could have selected, of my capacity for my profession and my chance of +success in it. Not till after the event had justified my kind old +friend's prophecy did I know that he had witnessed that morning's +performance, and joining my father at the end of it had said, "Bring her +out at once; it will be a great success." And so three weeks from that +time I was brought out, and it was a "great success." Three weeks was +not much time for preparation of any sort for such an experiment, but I +had no more, to become acquainted with my fellow actors and actresses, +not one of whom I had ever spoken with or seen--off the stage--before; +to learn all the technical _business_, as it is called, of the stage; +how to carry myself toward the audience, which was not--but was to +be--before me; how to concert my movements with the movements of those I +was acting with, so as not to impede or intercept their efforts, while +giving the greatest effect of which I was capable to my own. + +I do not wonder, when I remember this brief apprenticeship to my +profession, that Mr. Macready once said that I did not know the elements +of it. Three weeks of morning rehearsals of the play at the theater, and +evening consultations at home as to colors and forms of costume, what I +should wear, how my hair should be dressed, etc., etc.,--in all which I +remained absolutely passive in the hands of others, taking no part and +not much interest in the matter,--ended in my mother's putting aside all +suggestions of innovation like the adoption of the real picturesque +costume of mediæval Verona (which was, of course, Juliet's proper +dress), and determining in favor of the traditional stage costume for +the part, which was simply a dress of plain white satin with a long +train, with short sleeves and a low body; my hair was dressed in the +fashion in which I usually wore it; a girdle of fine paste brilliants, +and a small comb of the same, which held up my hair, were the only +theatrical parts of the dress, which was as perfectly simple and as +absolutely unlike anything Juliet ever wore as possible. + +Poor Mrs. Jameson made infinite protests against this decision of my +mother's, her fine artistic taste and sense of fitness being intolerably +shocked by the violation of every propriety in a Juliet attired in a +modern white satin ball dress amid scenery representing the streets and +palaces of Verona in the fourteenth century, and all the other +characters dressed with some reference to the supposed place and period +of the tragedy. Visions too, no doubt, of sundry portraits of Raphael, +Titian, Giorgione, Bronzino,--beautiful alike in color and +fashion,--vexed her with suggestions, with which she plied my mother; +who, however, determined as I have said, thinking the body more than +raiment, and arguing that the unincumbered use of the person, and the +natural grace of young arms, neck, and head, and unimpeded movement of +the limbs (all which she thought more compatible with the simple white +satin dress than the picturesque mediæval costume) were points of +paramount importance. My mother, though undoubtedly very anxious that I +should look well, was of course far more desirous that I should act +well, and judged that whatever rendered my dress most entirely +subservient to my acting, and least an object of preoccupation and +strange embarrassment to myself, was, under the circumstances of my +total inexperience and brief period of preparation, the thing to be +chosen, and I am sure that in the main she judged wisely. The mere +appendage of a train--three yards of white satin--following me wherever +I went, was to me a new, and would have been a difficult experience to +most girls. As it was, I never knew, after the first scene of the play, +what became of my train, and was greatly amused when Lady Dacre told me, +the next morning, that as soon as my troubles began I had snatched it up +and carried it on my arm, which I did quite unconsciously, because I +found something in the way of _Juliet's feet_. + +I have often admired the consummate good sense with which, confronting a +whole array of authorities, historical, artistical, æsthetical, my +mother stoutly maintained in their despite that nothing was to be +adopted on the stage that was in itself ugly, ungraceful, or even +curiously antiquated and singular, however correct it might be with +reference to the particular period, or even to authoritative portraits +of individual characters of the play. The passions, sentiments, actions, +and sufferings of human beings, she argued, were the main concern of a +fine drama, not the clothes they wore. I think she even preferred an +unobtrusive indifference to a pedantic accuracy, which, she said, few +people appreciated, and which, if anything, rather took the attention +from the acting than added to its effect, when it was really fine. + +She always said, when pictures and engravings were consulted, "Remember, +this presents but one view of the person, and does not change its +position: how will this dress look when it walks, runs, rushes, kneels, +sits down, falls, and turns its back?" I think an edge was added to my +mother's keen, rational, and highly artistic sense of this matter of +costume because it was the special hobby of her "favorite aversion," Mr. +E----, who had studied with great zeal and industry antiquarian +questions connected with the subject of stage representations, and was +perpetually suggesting to my father improvements on the old ignorant +careless system which prevailed under former managements. + +It is very true that, as she said, Garrick acted Macbeth in a full court +suit of scarlet,--knee-breeches, powdered wig, pigtail, and all; and +Mrs. Siddons acted the Grecian Daughter in piles of powdered curls, with +a forest of feathers on the top of them, high-heeled shoes, and a +portentous hoop; and both made the audience believe that they looked +just as they should do. But for all that, actors and actresses who were +neither Garrick nor Mrs. Siddons were not less like the parts they +represented by being at least dressed as they should be; and the fine +accuracy of the Shakespearean revivals of Mr. Macready and Charles Kean +was in itself a great enjoyment; nobody was ever told to _omit_ the +tithing of mint and cummin, though other matters were more important; +and Kean's Othello would have been the grand performance it was, even +with the advantage of Mr. Fechter's clever and picturesque "getting up" +of the play, as a frame to it; as Mademoiselle Rachel's wonderful +fainting exclamation of "Oh, mon cher Curiace!" lost none of its +poignant pathos, though she knew how every fold of her drapery fell and +rested on the chair on which she sank in apparent unconsciousness. +Criticising a portrait of herself in that scene, she said to the +painter, "Ma robe ne fait pas ce pli la; elle fait, au contraire, +celui-ci." The artist, inclined to defend his picture, asked her how, +while she was lying with her eyes shut and feigning utter insensibility, +she could possibly tell anything about the plaits of her dress. +"Allez-y-voir," replied Rachel; and the next time she played Camille, +the artist was able to convince himself by more careful observation that +she was right, and that there was probably no moment of the piece at +which this consummate artist was not aware of the effect produced by +every line and fold of the exquisite costume, of which she had studied +and prepared every detail as carefully as the wonderful movements of her +graceful limbs, the intonations of her awful voice, and the changing +expressions of her terribly beautiful countenance. + +In later years, after I became the directress of my own stage costumes, +I adopted one for Juliet, made after a beautiful design of my friend, +Mrs. Jameson, which combined my mother's _sine qua non_ of simplicity +with a form and fashion in keeping with the supposed period of the play. + +My frame of mind under the preparations that were going forward for my +_début_ appears to me now curious enough. Though I had found out that I +could act, and had acted with a sort of frenzy of passion and entire +self-forgetfulness the first time I ever uttered the wonderful +conception I had undertaken to represent, my going on the stage was +absolutely an act of duty and conformity to the will of my parents, +strengthened by my own conviction that I was bound to help them by every +means in my power. The theatrical profession was, however, utterly +distasteful to me, though _acting_ itself, that is to say, dramatic +personation, was not; and every detail of my future vocation, from the +preparations behind the scenes to the representations before the +curtain, was more or less repugnant to me. Nor did custom ever render +this aversion less; and liking my work so little, and being so devoid of +enthusiasm, respect, or love for it, it is wonderful to me that I ever +achieved _any_ success in it at all. The dramatic element inherent in my +organization must have been very powerful, to have enabled me without +either study of or love for my profession to do anything worth anything +in it. + +But this is the reason why, with an unusual gift and many unusual +advantages for it, I did really so little; why my performances were +always uneven in themselves and perfectly unequal with each other, never +complete as a whole, however striking in occasional parts, and never at +the same level two nights together; depending for their effect upon the +state of my nerves and spirits, instead of being the result of +deliberate thought and consideration,--study, in short, carefully and +conscientiously applied to my work; the permanent element which +preserves the artist, however inevitably he must feel the influence of +moods of mind and body, from ever being at their mercy. + +I brought but one half the necessary material to the exercise of my +profession, that which nature gave me; and never added the cultivation +and labor requisite to produce any fine performance in the right sense +of the word; and, coming of a family of _real_ artists, have never felt +that I deserved that honorable name. + +A letter written at this time to Miss S---- shows how comparatively +small a part my approaching ordeal engrossed my thoughts. + + JAMES STREET, September 24, 1829, + MY DEAREST H----, + + Your letter grieved me very much, but it did not surprise me; of + your brother's serious illness I had heard from my cousin, Horace + Twiss. But is there indeed cause for the terrible anxiety you + express? I know how impossible it is to argue with the + apprehensions of affection, and should have forborne this letter + altogether, but that I felt very deeply your kindness in writing to + me at such a time, and that I would fain assure you of my + heart-felt sympathy, however unavailing it may be. To you who have + a steadfast anchor for your hopes, I ought not, perhaps, to say, + "Do not despond." Yet, dearest H----, do not despond: is there + _any_ occasion when despair is justified? I know how lightly all + soothing counsel must be held, in a case of such sorrow as yours, + but among fellow-Christians such words still have some + significance; for the most unworthy of that holy profession may + point unfalteringly to the only consolations adequate to the need + of those far above them in every endowment of mind and heart and + religious attainment. Dear H----, I hardly know how to tell you how + much I feel for you, how sincerely I hope your fears may prove + groundless, and how earnestly I pray that, should they prove + prophetic, you may be enabled to bear the affliction, to meet which + I doubt not strength will be given you. This is all I dare say; + those who love you best will hardly venture to say more. To put + away entirely the idea of an evil which one may be called upon at + any moment to encounter would hardly be wise, even if it were + possible, in this world where every happiness one enjoys is but a + loan, the repayment of which may be exacted at the very moment, + perhaps, when we are forgetting in its possession the precarious + tenure by which alone it is ours. + + My dear father and mother have both been very unwell; the former is + a little recovered, but the latter is still in a sad state of + bodily suffering and mental anxiety. Our two boys are well and + happy, and I am very well and not otherwise than happy. I regret to + say Mrs. Henry Siddons will leave London in a very short time; this + is a great loss to me. I owe more to her than I can ever repay; for + though abundant pains had been bestowed upon me previously to my + going to her, it was she who caused to spring whatever scattered + seeds of good were in me, which almost seemed as if they had been + cast into the soil in vain. + + My dear H----, I am going on the stage: the nearest period talked + of for my _début_ is the first of October, at the opening of the + theater; the furthest, November; but I almost think I should prefer + the nearest, for it is a very serious trial to look forward to, and + I wish it were over. Juliet is to be my opening part, but not to my + father's Romeo; there would be many objections to that; he will do + Mercutio for me. I do not enter more fully upon this, because I + know how few things can be of interest to you in your present state + of feeling, but I wished you not to find the first notice of my + entrance on the stage of life in a newspaper. God bless you, + dearest H----, and grant you better hopes. + + Your most affectionate + FANNY. + +My father not acting Romeo with me deprived me of the most poetical and +graceful stage lover of his day; but the public, who had long been +familiar with his rendering of the part of Romeo, gained as much as I +lost, by his taking that of Mercutio, which has never since been so +admirably represented, and I dare affirm will never be given more +perfectly. The graceful ease, and airy sparkling brilliancy of his +delivery of the witty fancies of that merry gentleman, the gallant +defiance of his bearing toward the enemies of his house, and his +heroically pathetic and humorous death-scene, were beyond description +charming. He was one of the best Romeos, and incomparably _the_ best +Mercutio, that ever trod the English stage. + +My father was Miss O'Neill's Romeo throughout her whole theatrical +career, during which no other Juliet was tolerated by the English +public. This amiable and excellent woman was always an attached friend +of our family, and one day, when she was about to take leave of me, at +the end of a morning visit, I begged her to let my father have the +pleasure of seeing her, and ran to his study to tell him whom I had with +me. He followed me hastily to the drawing-room, and stopping at the +door, extended his arms towards her, exclaiming, "Ah, Juliet!" Lady +Becher ran to him and embraced him with a pretty, affectionate grace, +and the scene was pathetical as well as comical, for they were both +white-haired, she being considerably upward of sixty and he of seventy +years old; but she still retained the slender elegance of her exquisite +figure, and he some traces of his pre-eminent personal beauty. + +My mother had a great admiration and personal regard for Lady Becher, +and told me an anecdote of her early life which transmitted those +feelings of hers to me. Lord F----, eldest son of the Earl of E----, a +personally and mentally attractive young man, fell desperately in love +with Miss O'Neill, who was (what the popular theatrical heroine of the +day always is) the realization of their ideal to the youth, male and +female, of her time, the stage star of her contemporaries. Lord F----'s +family had nothing to say against the character, conduct, or personal +endowments of the beautiful, actress who had enchanted, to such serious +purpose as marriage, the heir of their house; but much, reasonably and +rightly enough, against marriages disproportionate to such a degree as +that, and the objectionable nature of the young woman's peculiar +circumstances and public calling. Both Miss O'Neill, however, and Lord +F---- were enough in earnest in their mutual regard to accept the test +of a year's separation and suspension of all intercourse. She remained +to utter herself in Juliet to the English public, and her lover went and +travelled abroad, both believing in themselves and each other. No +letters or communication passed between them; but toward the end of +their year of probation vague rumors came flying to England of the life +of dissipation led by the young man, and of the unworthy companions with +whom he entertained the most intimate relations. After this came more +explicit tales of positive entanglement with one particular person, and +reports of an entire devotion to one object quite incompatible with the +constancy professed and promised to his English mistress. + +Probably aware that every effort would, till the last, be made by Lord +F----'s family to detach them from each other, bound by her promise to +hold no intercourse with him, but determined to take the verdict of her +fate from no one but himself, Miss O'Neill obtained a brief leave of +absence from her theatrical duties, went with her brother and sister to +Calais, whence she travelled alone to Paris (poor, fair Juliet! when I +think of her, not as I ever knew her, but such as I know she must then +have been, no more pathetic image presents itself to my mind), and took +effectual measures to ascertain beyond all shadow of doubt the bitter +truth of the evil reports of her fickle lover's mode of life. His +devotion to one lady, the more respectable form of infidelity which must +inevitably have canceled their contract of love, was not indeed true, +and probably the story had been fabricated because the mere general +accusation of profligacy might easily have been turned into an appeal to +her mercy, as the result of reckless despondency and of his utter +separation from her; and a woman in her circumstances might not have +been hard to find who would have persuaded herself that she might +overlook "all that," reclaim her lover, and be an Earl's wife. Miss +O'Neill rejoined her family at Calais, wrote to Lord F----'s father, the +Earl of E----, her final and irrevocable rejection of his son's suit, +fell ill of love and sorrow, and lay for some space between life and +death for the sake of her unworthy lover; rallied bravely, recovered, +resumed her work,--her sway over thousands of human hearts,--and, after +lapse of healing and forgiving and forgetting time, married Sir William +Wrixon Becher. + +The peculiar excellence of her acting lay in the expression of pathos, +sorrow, anguish,--the sentimental and suffering element of tragedy. She +was expressly devised for a representative victim; she had, too, a rare +endowment for her special range of characters, in an easily excited, +superficial sensibility, which caused her to cry, as she once said to +me, "buckets full," and enabled her to exercise the (to most men) +irresistible influence of a beautiful woman in tears. The power (or +weakness) of abundant weeping without disfigurement is an attribute of +deficient rather than excessive feeling. In such persons the tears are +poured from their crystal cups without muscular distortion of the rest +of the face. In proportion to the violence or depth of emotion, and the +acute or profound sensibility of the temperament, is the disturbance of +the countenance. In sensitive organizations, the muscles round the +nostrils and lips quiver and are distorted, the throat and temples +swell, and a grimace, which but for its miserable significance would be +grotesque, convulses the whole face. Men's tears always seem to me as if +they were pumped up from their heels, and strained through every drop of +blood in their veins; women's, to start as under a knife stroke, direct +with a gush from their heart, abundant and beneficent; but again, women +of the temperament I have alluded to above have fountains of lovely +tears behind their lovely eyes, and their weeping, which is +indescribably beautiful, is comparatively painless, and yet pathetic +enough to challenge tender compassion. I have twice seen such tears +shed, and never forgotten them: once from heaven-blue eyes, and the face +looked like a flower with pearly dewdrops sliding over it; and again, +once from magnificent, dark, uplifted orbs, from which the falling tears +looked like diamond rain-drops by moonlight. + +Miss O'Neill was a supremely touching, but neither a powerful nor a +passionate actress. Personally, she was the very beau ideal of feminine +weakness in its most attractive form--delicacy. She was tall, slender, +elegantly formed, and extremely graceful; her features were regular and +finely chiseled, and her hair beautiful; her eyes were too light, and +her eyebrows and eyelashes too pale for expression; her voice wanted +variety and brilliancy for comic intonation, but was deep and sonorous, +and of a fine pathetic and tragic quality. + +It was not an easy matter to find a Romeo for me, and in the emergency +my father and mother even thought of my brother Henry's trying the part. +He was in the first bloom of youth, and really might be called +beautiful; and certainly, a few years later, might have been the very +ideal of a Romeo. But he looked too young for the part, as indeed he +was, being three years my junior. The overwhelming objection, however, +was his own insuperable dislike to the idea of acting, and his ludicrous +incapacity for assuming the faintest appearance of any sentiment. +However, he learned the words, and never shall I forget the explosion of +laughter which shook my father, my mother, and myself, when, after +hearing him recite the balcony scene with the most indescribable mixture +of shy terror and nervous convulsions of suppressed giggling, my father +threw down the book, and Henry gave vent to his feelings by clapping his +elbows against his sides and bursting into a series of triumphant +cock-crows--an expression of mental relief so ludicrously in contrast +with his sweet, sentimental face, and the part he had just been +pretending to assume, that I thought we never should have recovered from +the fits it sent us into. We were literally all crying with laughter, +and a more farcical scene cannot be imagined. This, of course, ended all +idea of that young chanticleer being my Romeo; and yet the young rascal +was, or fancied he was, over head and ears in love at this very time, +and an exquisite sketch Hayter had just made of him might with the +utmost propriety have been sent to the exhibition with no other title +than "Portrait of a Lover." + +The part of Romeo was given to Mr. Abbot, an old-established favorite +with the public, a very amiable and worthy man, old enough to have been +my father, whose performance, not certainly of the highest order, was +nevertheless not below inoffensive mediocrity. But the public, who were +bent upon doing more than justice to me, were less than just to him; and +the abuse showered upon his Romeo, especially by my more enthusiastic +admirers of the male sex, might, I should think, have embittered his +stage relations with me to the point of making me an object of +detestation to him, all through our theatrical lives. A tragicomic +incident was related to me by one of the parties concerned in it, which +certainly proved that poor Mr. Abbot was quite aware of the little favor +his Romeo found with my particular friends. One of them, the son of our +kind and valued friends the G----s, an excellent, good-hearted, but not +very wise young fellow, invariably occupied a certain favorite and +favorable position in the midst of the third row of the pit every night +that I acted. There were no stalls or reserved seats then, though not +long after I came out the majority of the seats in the orchestra were +let to spectators, and generally occupied by a set of young gentlemen +whom Sir Thomas Lawrence always designated as my "body guard." This, +however, had not yet been instituted, and my friend G---- had often to +wait long hours, and even to fight for the privilege of his peculiar +seat, where he rendered himself, I am sorry to say, not a little +ludicrous, and not seldom rather obnoxious to everybody in his vicinity, +by the vehement demonstrations of his enthusiasm--his frantic cries of +"bravo," his furious applause, and his irrepressible exclamations of +ecstasy and agony during the whole play. He became as familiar to the +public as the stage lamps themselves, and some of his immediate +neighbors complained rather bitterly of the incessant din and clatter of +his approbation, and the bruises, thumps, contusions, and constant fears +which his lively sentiments inflicted upon them. This _fanatico_ of +mine, walking home from the theater one night with two other like-minded +individuals, indulged himself in obstreperous abuse of poor Mr. Abbot, +in which he was heartily joined by his companions. Toward Cavendish +Square the broad, quiet streets rang with the uproarious mirth with +which they recapitulated his "damnable faces," "strange postures," +uncouth gestures, and ungainly deportment; imitation followed imitation +of the poor actor's peculiar declamation, and the night became noisy +with the shouts of mingled derision and execration of his critics; when +suddenly, as they came to a gas-light at the corner of a crossing, a +solitary figure which had been preceding them, without possibility of +escape, down the long avenue of Harley Street, where G---- lived, turned +abruptly round, and confronted them with Mr. Abbot's unimpressive +countenance. "Gentlemen," he said, "no one can be more aware than myself +of the defects of my performance of Romeo, no one more conscious of its +entire unworthiness of Miss Kemble's Juliet; but all I can say is, that +I do not act the part by my own choice, and shall be delighted to resign +it to either of you who may feel more capable than I am of doing it +justice." The young gentlemen, though admiring me "not wisely, but too +well," were good-hearted fellows, and were struck with the manly and +moderate tone of Mr. Abbot's rebuke, and shocked at having +unintentionally wounded the feelings of a person who (except as Romeo), +was every way deserving of their respect. Of course they could not +swallow all their foolish words, and Abbot bowed and was gone before +they could stutter an apology. I have no doubt that his next appearance +as Romeo was hailed with some very cordial, remorseful applause, +addressed to him personally as some relief to their feelings, by my +indiscreet partisans. My friend G----, not very long after this +theatrical passion of his, became what is sometimes called "religious," +and had thoughts of going into the Church, and giving up the play-house. +He confided to my mother, who was his mother's intimate friend, and of +whom he was very fond, his conscientious scruples, which she in no wise +combated; though she probably thought more moderation in going to the +theater, and a little more self-control when there, might not, in any +event, be undesirable changes in his practice, whether his taking holy +orders cut him off entirely from what was then his principal pleasure, +or not. One night, when the venerable Prebend of St. Paul's, her old +friend, Dr. Hughes, was in her box with her, witnessing my performance +(which my mother never failed to attend), she pointed out G----, +_scrimmaging_ about, as usual, in his wonted place in the pit, and said, +"There is a poor lad who is terribly disturbed in his own mind about the +very thing he is doing at this moment. He is thinking of going into the +Church, and more than half believes that he ought to give up coming to +the play." "That depends, I should say," replied dear old Dr. Hughes, +"upon his own conviction in the matter, and nothing else; meantime, pray +give him my compliments, and tell him _I_ have enjoyed the performance +to-night extremely." + +Mr. Abbot was in truth not a bad actor, though a perfectly uninteresting +one in tragedy; he had a good figure, face, and voice, the carriage and +appearance of a well-bred person, and, in what is called genteel comedy, +precisely the air and manner which it is most difficult to assume, that +of a gentleman. He had been in the army, and had left it for the stage, +where his performances were always respectable, though seldom anything +more. Wanting passion and expression in tragedy, he naturally resorted +to vehemence to supply their place, and was exaggerated and violent from +the absence of all dramatic feeling and imagination. Moreover, in +moments of powerful emotion he was apt to become unsteady on his legs, +and always filled me with terror lest in some of his headlong runs and +rushes about the stage he should lose his balance and fall; as indeed he +once did, to my unspeakable distress, in the play of "The Grecian +Daughter," in which he enacted my husband, Phocion, and flying to +embrace me, after a period of painful and eventful separation, he +completely overbalanced himself, and swinging round with me in his arms, +we both came to the ground together. "Oh, Mr. Abbot!" was all I could +ejaculate; he, poor man, literally pale green with dismay, picked me up +in profound silence, and the audience kindly covered our confusion, and +comforted us by vehement applause, not, indeed, unmixed with laughter. +But my friends and admirers were none the more his after that exploit; +and I remained in mortal dread of his stage embraces for ever after, +steadying myself carefully on my feet, and bracing my whole figure to +"stand fast," whenever he made the smallest affectionate approach toward +me. It is not often that such a piece of awkwardness as this is +perpetrated on the stage, but dramatic heroines are nevertheless liable +to sundry disagreeable difficulties of a very unromantic nature. If a +gentleman in a ball-room places his hand round a lady's waist to waltz +with her, she can, without any shock to the "situation," beg him to +release the end spray of her flowery garland, or the floating ribbons of +her head-dress, which he may have imprisoned; but in the middle of a +scene of tragedy grief or horror, of the unreality of which, by dint of +the effort of your imagination, you are no longer conscious, to be +obliged to say, in your distraction, to your distracted partner in woe, +"Please lift your arm from my waist, you are pulling my head down +backwards," is a distraction, too, of its kind. + +The only occasion on which I ever acted Juliet to a Romeo who looked the +part was one when Miss Ellen Tree sustained it. The acting of Romeo, or +any other man's part by a woman (in spite of Mrs. Siddons's Hamlet), is, +in my judgment, contrary to every artistic and perhaps natural +propriety, but I cannot deny that the stature "more than common tall," +and the beautiful face, of which the fine features were too marked in +their classical regularity to look feeble or even effeminate, of my fair +female lover made her physically an appropriate representative of Romeo. +Miss Ellen Tree looked beautiful and not unmanly in the part; she was +broad-shouldered as well as tall, and her long limbs had the fine +proportions of the huntress Diana; altogether, she made a very "pretty +fellow," as the saying was formerly, as all who saw her in her graceful +performance of Talfourd's "Ion" will testify; but assumption of that +character, which in its ideal classical purity is almost without sex, +was less open to objection than that of the fighting young Veronese +noble of the fourteenth century. She fenced very well, however, and +acquitted herself quite manfully in her duel with Tybalt; the only hitch +in the usual "business" of the part was between herself and me, and I do +not imagine the public, for one night, were much aggrieved by the +omission of the usual clap-trap performance (part of Garrick's +interpolation, which indeed belongs to the original story, but which +Shakespeare's true poet's sense had discarded) of Romeo's plucking +Juliet up from her bier and rushing with her, still stiff and motionless +in her death-trance, down to the foot-lights. This feat Miss Tree +insisted upon attempting with me, and I as stoutly resisted all her +entreaties to let her do so. I was a very slender-looking girl, but very +heavy for all that. (A friend of mine, on my first voyage to America, +lifting me from a small height, set me down upon the deck, exclaiming, +"Oh, you solid little lady!" and my cousin, John Mason, the first time +he acted Romeo with me, though a very powerful, muscular young man, +whispered to me as he carried my corpse down the stage with a fine +semblance of frenzy, "Jove, Fanny, you are a lift!") Finding that all +argument and remonstrance was unavailing, and that Miss Tree, though by +no means other than a good friend and fellow-worker of mine, was bent +upon performing this gymnastic feat, I said at last, "If you attempt to +lift or carry me down the stage, I will kick and scream till you set me +down," which ended the controversy. I do not know whether she believed +me, but she did not venture upon the experiment. + +I am reminded by this recollection of my pleasant professional +fellowship with Miss Ellen Tree of a curious instance of the +unprincipled, flagrant recklessness with which scandalous gossip is +received and circulated in what calls itself the best English society. + +In Mr. Charles Greville's "Memoirs," he makes a statement that Miss Tree +was never engaged at Covent Garden. The play-bills and the newspapers of +the day abundantly contradicted this assertion (at the time he entered +it in his diary), and, of course, the discreditable motive assigned for +the _fact_. + +I cannot help thinking that, had Mr. Greville lived, much of the +voluminous record he kept of persons and events would have been withheld +from publication. He told me, not long before his death, that he had no +recollection whatever of the contents of the earlier volumes of his MS. +journal which he had lent me to read; and it is infinitely to be +regretted, if he did not look over them before they were published, that +the discretion he exercised (or delegated) in the omission of certain +passages was not allowed to prevail to the exclusion of others. Such +partial omissions would not indeed alter the whole tone and character of +the book, but might have mitigated the shock of painful surprise with +which it was received by the society he described, and by no one more +than some of those who had been on terms of the friendliest intimacy +with him and who had repeatedly heard him assert that his journal would +never be published in the lifetime of any one mentioned in it. + +I consider that I was quite justified in using even this naughty child's +threat to prevent Miss Tree from doing what might very well have ended +in some dangerous and ludicrous accident; nor did I feel at all guilty +toward her of the species of malice prepense which Malibran exhibited +toward Sontag, when they sang in the opera of "Romeo and Juliet," on the +first occasion of their appearing together during their brilliant public +career in England. Malibran's mischievousness partook of the force and +versatility of her extraordinary genius, and having tormented poor +Mademoiselle Sontag with every inconceivable freak and caprice during +the whole rehearsal of the opera, at length, when requested by her to +say in what part of the stage she intended to fall in the last scene, +she, Malibran, replied that she "really didn't know," that she "really +couldn't tell;" sometimes she "died in one place, sometimes in another, +just as it happened, or the humor took her at the moment." As Sontag was +bound to expire in loving proximity to her, and was, I take it, much +less liable to spontaneous inspiration than her fiery rival, this was by +no means satisfactory. She had nothing like the original genius of the +other woman, but was nevertheless a more perfect artist. Wanting weight +and power and passion for such parts as Norma, Medea, Semiramide, etc., +she was perfect in the tenderer and more pathetic parts of Amina, Lucia +di Lammermoor, Linda di Chamouni; exquisite in the Rosina and Carolina +of the "Barbiere" and "Matrimonio Segreto;" and, in my opinion, quite +unrivaled in her Countess, in the "Nozze," and, indeed, in all rendering +of Mozart's music, to whose peculiar and pre-eminent genius hers seemed +to me in some degree allied, and of whose works she was the only +interpreter I ever heard, gifted alike with the profound German +understanding of music and the enchanting Italian power of rendering it. +Her mode of uttering sound, of putting forth her voice (the test which +all but Italians, or most carefully Italian-trained singers, fail in), +was as purely unteutonic as possible. She was one of the most perfect +singers I ever heard, and suggests to my memory the quaint praise of the +gypsy vocal performance in the ballad of "Johnny Faa"-- + + "They sang so sweet, + So very _complete_," + +She was the first Rosina I ever heard who introduced into the scene of +the music-lesson "Rhodes Air," with the famous violin variations, which +she performed by way of a _vocalise_, to the utter amazement of her +noble music-master, I should think, as well as her audience. +Mademoiselle Nilsson is the only prima donna since her day who has at +all reminded me of Sontag, who was lovely to look at, delightful to +listen to, good, amiable, and charming, and, compared with Malibran, +like the evening star to a comet. + +Defeated by Malibran's viciousness in rehearsing her death-scene, she +resigned herself to the impromptu imposed upon her, and prepared to +follow her Romeo, wherever _she_ might choose to die; but when the +evening came, Malibran contrived to die close to the foot-lights and in +front of the curtain; Sontag of necessity followed, and fell beside her +there; the drop came down, and there lay the two fair corpses in full +view of the audience, of course unable to rise or move, till a couple of +stage footmen, in red plush breeches, ran in to the rescue, took the +dead Capulet and Montague each by the shoulders, and dragged them off at +the side scenes; the Spanish woman in the heroism of her maliciousness +submitting to this ignominy for the pleasure of subjecting her gentle +German rival to it. + +Madame Malibran was always an object of the greatest interest to me, not +only on account of her extraordinary genius, and great and various +gifts, but because of the many details I heard of her youth from M. de +la Forest, the French consul in New York, who knew her as Marie Garcia, +a wild and wayward but most wonderful girl, under her father's +tyrannical and harsh rule during the time they spent in the United +States. He said that there was not a piece of furniture in their +apartment that had not been thrown by the father at the daughter's head, +in the course of the moral and artistic training he bestowed upon her: +it is perhaps wonderful that success in either direction should have +been the result of such a system; but, upon the whole, the singer seems +to have profited more than the woman from it, as might have been +expected. Garcia was an incomparable artist, actor, and singer (no such +Don Giovanni has ever been heard or seen since), and bestowed upon all +his children the finest musical education that ever made great natural +gifts available to the utmost to their possessors. I suppose it was from +him, too, that Marie derived with her Spanish blood the vehement, +uncontrollable nature of which M. de la Forest told me he had witnessed +such extraordinary exhibitions in her girlhood. He said she would fly +into passions of rage, in which she would set her teeth in the sleeve of +her silk gown, and tear and rend great pieces out of the thick texture +as if it were muslin; a test of the strength of those beautiful teeth, +as well as of the fury of her passion. She then would fall rigid on the +floor, without motion, breath, pulse, or color, though not fainting, in +a sort of catalepsy of rage. + +Her marriage with the old French merchant Malibran was speedily followed +by their separation; he went to France, leaving his divine devil of a +wife in New York, and during his absence she used to write letters to +him, which she frequently showed to M. de la Forest, who was her +intimate friend and adviser, and took a paternal interest in all her +affairs. These epistles often expressed so much cordial kindness and +warmth of feeling toward her husband, that M. de la Forest, who knew her +separation from him to have been entirely her own act and choice, and +any decent agreement and harmonious life between them absolutely +impossible, was completely puzzled by such professions toward a man with +whom she was determined never to live, and occasionally said to her, +"What do you mean? Do you wish your husband to come here to you? or do +you contemplate going to him? In short, what is your intention in +writing with all this affection to a man from whom you have separated +yourself?" Upon this view of her epistle, which did not appear to have +struck her, M. de la Forest said, she would (instead of rewriting it) +tack on to it, with the most ludicrous inconsistency, a sort of +revocatory codicil, in the shape of a postscript, expressing her decided +desire that her husband should remain where he was, and her own explicit +determination never again to enter into any more intimate relations with +him than were compatible with a correspondence from opposite sides of +the Atlantic, whatever personal regard or affection for him her letter +might appear to express to the contrary notwithstanding. + +To my great regret I only saw her act once, though I heard her sing at +concerts and in private repeatedly. My only personal encounter with her +took place in a curious fashion. My father and myself were acting at +Manchester, and had just finished performing the parts of Mr. and Mrs. +Beverley, one night, in "The Gamester." On our return from the theater, +as I was slowly and in considerable exhaustion following my father up +the hotel stairs, as we reached the landing by our sitting-room, a door +immediately opposite to it flew open, and a lady dressed like +Tilburina's Confidante, all in white muslin, rushed out of it, and fell +upon my father's breast, sobbing out hysterically, "Oh, Mr. Kembel, my +deare, deare Mr. Kembel!" This was Madame Malibran, under the effect of +my father's performance of the Gamester, which she had just witnessed. +"Come, come," quoth my father (who was old enough to have been hers, and +knew her very well), patting her consolingly on the back, "Come now, my +dear Madame Malibran, compose yourself; don't now, Marie, don't, my dear +child!" all which was taking place on the public staircase, while I +looked on in wide-eyed amazement behind. Madame Malibran, having +suffered herself to be led into our room, gradually composed herself, +ate her supper with us, expressed herself with much kind enthusiasm +about my performance, and gave me a word of advice as to not losing any +of my height (of which I had none to spare) by stooping, saying very +amiably that, being at a disadvantage as to her own stature, she had +never wasted a quarter of an inch of it. This little reflection upon her +own proportions must have been meant as a panacea to my vanity for her +criticism of my deportment. My person was indeed of the shortest; but +she had the figure of a nymph, and was rather above than below middle +height. There was in other respects some likeness between us; she was +certainly not really handsome, but her eyes were magnificent, and her +whole countenance was very striking. + +The first time I ever saw her sister, Madame Viardot, she was sitting +with mine, who introduced me to her; Pauline Viardot continued talking, +now and then, however, stopping to look fixedly at me, and at last +exclaimed, "Mais comme elle ressemble à ma Marie!" and one evening at a +private concert in London, having arrived late, I remained standing by +the folding-doors of the drawing-room, while Lablache finished a song +which he had begun before I came in, at the end of which he came up to +me and said, "You cannot think how you frightened me, when first I saw +you standing in that doorway; you looked so absolutely like Malibran, +que je ne savais en vérité pas ce que c'était." Malibran's appearance +was a memorable event in the whole musical world of Europe, throughout +which her progress from capital to capital was one uninterrupted +triumph; the enthusiasm, as is general in such cases, growing with its +further and wider spread, so that at Venice she was allowed, in spite of +old-established law and custom, to go about in a gold and crimson +gondola, as fine as the Bucentaur itself, instead of the floating +hearses that haunt the sea-paved thoroughfares, and that did not please +her gay and magnificent taste. + +Her _début_ in England was an absolute conquest of the nation; and when +it was shocked by the news of her untimely death, hundreds of those +unsympathetic, unæsthetic, unenthusiastic English people put mourning on +for the wonderfully gifted young woman, snatched away in the midst of +her brilliant career. Madame Malibran composed some charming songs, but +her great reputation derives little of its luster from them,--that great +reputation already a mere tradition. + +At a challenge I would not decline, I ventured upon the following harsh +and ungraceful but literal translation of some of the stanzas from +Alfred de Musset's fine lament for Malibran. My poetical competitor +produced an admirable version of them, and has achieved translations of +other of his verses, as perfect as translations can be; a literary feat +of extraordinary difficulty, with the works of so essentially national a +writer, a genius so peculiarly French, as De Musset. + + "Oh, Maria Felicia! the painter and bard + Behind them, in dying, leave undying heirs. + The night of oblivion their memory spares, + And their great eager souls, other action debarred, + Against death, against time, having valiantly warred, + Though struck down in the strife, claim its trophies as theirs. + + "In the iron engraved, one his thought leaves enshrined; + With a golden-sweet cadence another's entwined + Makes for ever all those who shall hear it his friends. + Though he died, on the canvas lives Raphael's mind; + And from death's darkest doom till this world of ours ends, + The mother-clasped infant his glory defends. + + "As the lamp guards the flame, so the bare, marble halls + Of the Parthenon keep, in their desolate space, + The memory of Phidias enshrined in their walls. + And Praxiteles' child, the young Venus, yet calls + From the altar, where, smiling, she still holds her place, + The centuries conquered to worship her grace. + + "Thus from age after age, while new life they receive, + To rest at God's feet the old glories are gone; + And the accents of genius their echoes still weave + With the great human voice, till their speech is but one. + And of thee, dead but yesterday, all thy fame leaves + But a cross in the dim chapel's darkness, alone. + + "A cross and oblivion, silence, and death! + Hark! the wind's softest sob; hark! the ocean's deep breath! + Hark! the fisher boy singing his way o'er the plains! + Of thy glory, thy hope, thy young beauty's bright wreath, + Not a trace, not a sigh, not an echo remains." + +Those Garcia sisters were among the most remarkable people of their day, +not only for their peculiar high artistic gifts, their admirable musical +and dramatic powers, but for the vivid originality of their genius and +great general cultivation. Malibran danced almost as well as she sang, +and once took a principal part in a ballet. She drew and painted well, +as did her sister Pauline Viardot, whose spirited caricatures of her +friends, and herself were admirable specimens both of likenesses and of +humorous talent in delineating them. Both sisters conversed brilliantly, +speaking fluently four languages, and executed the music of different +nations and composers with a perception of the peculiar character of +each that was extraordinary. They were mistresses of all the different +schools of religious, dramatic, and national compositions, and Gluck, +Jomelli, Pergolesi, Bach, Handel, Haydn, Mozart, Rossini, Bellini, +Scotch and Irish melodies, Neapolitan canzonette, and the popular airs +of their own country, were all rendered by them with equal mastery. + +To resume my story (which is very like that of the knife-grinder). When +I returned to the stage, many years after I had first appeared on it, I +restored the beautiful end of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" as he +wrote it (in spite of Garrick and the original story), thinking it mere +profanation to intrude sharp discords of piercing agony into the divine +harmony of woe with which it closes. + + "Thus with a kiss I die," + "Thy husband in thy bosom there lies dead," + +are full enough of bitter-sweet despair for the last chords of that +ineffable, passionate strain--the swoon of sorrow ending that brief, +palpitating ecstasy, the proper, dirge-like close to that triumphant +hymn of love and youth and beauty. All the frantic rushing and tortured +writhing and uproar of noisy anguish of the usual stage ending seemed +utter desecration to me; but Garrick was an actor, the first of actors, +and his death-scene of the lovers and ending of the play is much more +theatrically effective than Shakespeare's. + +The report of my approaching appearance on the stage excited a good deal +of interest among the acquaintances and friends of my family, and +occasioned a renewal of cordial relations which had formerly existed, +but ceased for some time, between Sir Thomas Lawrence and my father and +mother. + +Lawrence's enthusiastic admiration for my uncle John and Mrs. Siddons, +testified by the numerous striking portraits in which he has recorded +their personal beauty and dramatic picturesqueness, led to a most +intimate and close friendship between the great painter and the eminent +actors, and, subsequently, to very painful circumstances, which +estranged him for years from all our family, and forbade all renewal of +the relations between himself and Mrs. Siddons which had been so cruelly +interrupted. + +While frequenting her house upon terms of the most affectionate +intimacy, he proposed to her eldest daughter, my cousin Sarah, and was +accepted by her. Before long, however, he became deeply dejected, moody, +restless, and evidently extremely and unaccountably wretched. Violent +scenes of the most painful emotion, of which the cause was inexplicable +and incomprehensible, took place repeatedly between himself and Mrs. +Siddons, to whom he finally, in a paroxysm of self-abandoned misery, +confessed that he had mistaken his own feelings, and that her younger +daughter, and not the elder, was the real object of his affection, and +ended by imploring permission to transfer his addresses from the one to +the other sister. How this extraordinary change was accomplished I know +not; but only that it took place, and that Maria Siddons became engaged +to her sister's faithless lover. To neither of them, however was he +destined ever to be united; they were both exceedingly delicate young +women, with a tendency to consumption, which was probably developed and +accelerated in its progress in no small measure by all the bitterness +and complicated difficulties of this disastrous double courtship. + +Maria, the youngest, an exceedingly beautiful girl, died first, and on +her death-bed exacted from her sister a promise that she would never +become Lawrence's wife; the promise was given, and she died, and had not +lain long in her untimely grave when her sister was laid in it beside +her. The death of these two lovely and amiable women broke off all +connection between Sir Thomas Lawrence and my aunt, and from that time +they never saw or had any intercourse with each other. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +It was years after these events that Lawrence, meeting my father +accidentally in the street one day, stopped him and spoke with great +feeling of his sympathy for us all in my approaching trial, and begged +permission to come and see my mother and become acquainted with me, +which he accordingly did; and from that time till his death, which +occurred but a few months later, he was unwearied in acts of friendly +and affectionate kindness to me. He came repeatedly to consult with my +mother about the disputed point of my dress, and gave his sanction to +her decision upon it. The first dress of Belvidera, I remember, was a +point of nice discussion between them. Plain black velvet and a +lugubrious long vail were considered my only admissible wear, after my +husband's ruin; but before the sale of our furniture, it was conceded +that I might relieve the somber Venetian patrician's black dress with +white satin puffs and crimson linings and rich embroidery of gold and +pearl; moreover, before our bankruptcy, I was allowed (not, however, +without serious demur on the part of Lawrence) to cover my head with a +black hat and white feather, with which, of course, I was enamored, +having never worn anything but my hair on my head before, and feeling an +unspeakable accession of dignity in this piece of attire. I begged hard +to be allowed to wear it through the tragedy, but this, with some +laughter at my intense desire for it, was forbidden, and I was reduced +after the first scene of the play to my own unadorned locks, which I +think greatly strengthened my feeling of the abject misery into which I +had fallen. + +When in town, Lawrence never omitted one of my performances, always +occupying the stage box, and invariably sending me the next morning a +letter, full of the most detailed and delicate criticism, showing a +minute attention to every inflection of my voice, every gesture, every +attitude, which, combined with expressions of enthusiastic admiration, +with which this discriminating and careful review of my performance +invariably terminated, was as strong a dose of the finest flattery as +could well have been offered to a girl of my age, on the very first step +of her artistic career. I used to read over the last of these remarkable +criticisms, invariably, before going to the theater, in order to profit +by every suggestion of alteration or hint of improvement they contained; +and I was in the act of reperusing the last I ever received from him, +when my father came in and said, "Lawrence is dead." + +I had been sitting to him for some time previously for a pencil sketch, +which he gave my mother; it was his last work, and certainly the most +beautiful of his drawings. He had appointed a day for beginning a +full-length, life-size portrait of me as Juliet, and we had seen him +only a week before his death, and, in the interval, received a note from +him, merely saying he was rather indisposed. His death, which was quite +unexpected, created a very great public sensation, and there was +something sufficiently mysterious about its circumstances to give rise +to a report that he had committed suicide. + +The shock of this event was terrible to me, although I have sometimes +since thought it was fortunate for me rather than otherwise. Sir Thomas +Lawrence's enthusiastically expressed admiration for me, his constant +kindness, his sympathy in my success, and the warm interest he took in +everything that concerned me, might only have inspired me with a +grateful sense of his condescension and goodness. But I was a very +romantic girl, with a most excitable imagination, and such was to me the +melancholy charm of Lawrence's countenance, the elegant distinction of +his person, and exquisite refined gentleness of his voice and manner, +that a very dangerous fascination was added to my sense of gratitude for +all his personal kindness to me, and my admiration for his genius; and I +think it not at all unlikely that, had our intercourse continued, and +had I sat to him for the projected portrait of Juliet, in spite of the +forty years' difference in our ages, and my knowledge of his disastrous +relations with my cousins, I should have become in love with him myself, +and been the fourth member of our family whose life he would have +disturbed and embittered. His sentimentality was of a peculiar +mischievous order, as it not only induced women to fall in love with +him, but enabled him to persuade himself that he was in love with them, +and apparently with more than one at a time. + +While I was sitting to him for the beautiful sketch he gave my mother, +one or two little incidents occurred that illustrated curiously enough +this superficial pseudo-sensibility of his. On one occasion, when he +spent the evening with us, my mother had made me sing for him; and the +next day, after my sitting, he said in a strange, hesitating, broken +manner, as if struggling to control some strong emotion, "I have a very +great favor to beg of you; the next time I have the honor and pleasure +of spending the evening with you, will you, if Mrs. Kemble does not +disapprove of it, sing this song for me?" He put a piece of music into +my hand, and immediately left us without another word. On our way home +in the carriage, I unrolled the song, the title of which was, "These few +pale Autumn Flowers." "Ha!" said my mother, with, I thought, rather a +peculiar expression, as I read the words; but she added no further +comment. Both words and music were plaintive and pathetic, and had an +original stamp in the melancholy they expressed. + +The next time Lawrence spent the evening with us I sang the song for +him. While I did so, he stood by the piano in a state of profound +abstraction, from which he recovered himself, as if coming back from +very far away, and with an expression of acute pain on his countenance, +he thanked me repeatedly for what he called the great favor I had done +him. + +At the end of my next sitting, when my mother and myself had risen to +take leave of him, he said, "No, don't go yet,--stay a moment,--I want +to show you something--if I can;" and he moved restlessly about, taking +up and putting down his chalks and pencils, and standing, and sitting +down again, as if unable to make up his mind to do what he wished. At +length he went abruptly to an easel, and, removing from it a canvas with +a few slight sketches on it, he discovered behind it the profile +portrait of a lady in a white dress folded simply across her bosom, and +showing her beautiful neck and shoulders. Her head was dressed with a +sort of sibylline turban, and she supported it upon a most lovely hand +and arm, her elbow resting on a large book, toward which she bent, and +on the pages of which her eyes were fixed, the exquisite eyelid and +lashes hiding the eyes. "Oh, how beautiful! oh, who is it!" exclaimed I. +"A--a lady," stammered Lawrence, turning white and red, "toward +whom--for whom--I entertained the profoundest regard." Thereupon he fled +out of the room. "It is the portrait of Mrs. W----," said my mother; +"she is now dead; she was an exceedingly beautiful and accomplished +woman, the authoress of the words and music of the song Sir Thomas +Lawrence asked you to learn for him." + +The great painter's devotion to this lovely person had been matter of +notoriety in the London world. Strangely enough, but a very short time +ago I discovered that she was the kinswoman of my friend Miss Cobb's +mother, of whom Miss Cobb possessed a miniature, in which the fashion of +dress and style of head-dress were the same as those in the picture I +saw, and in which I also traced some resemblance to the beautiful face +which made so great an impression on me. Not long after this Mrs. +Siddons, dining with us one day, asked my mother how the sketch Lawrence +was making of me was getting on. After my mother's reply, my aunt +remained silent for some time, and then, laying her hand on my father's +arm, said, "Charles, when I die, I wish to be carried to my grave by you +and Lawrence." Lawrence reached his grave while she was yet tottering on +the brink of hers. + +After my next sitting, my mother, thinking he might be gratified by my +aunt's feeling toward him, mentioned her having dined with us. He asked +eagerly of her health, her looks, her words, and my mother telling him +of her speech about him, he threw down his pencil, clasped his hands, +and, with his eyes full of tears and his face convulsed, exclaimed, +"Good God! did she say that?" + +When my likeness was finished, Lawrence showed it to my mother, who, +though she had attended all my sittings, had never seen it till it was +completed. As she stood silently looking at it, he said, "What strikes +you? what do you think?" "It is very like Maria," said my mother, almost +involuntarily, I am sure, for immediately this strange man fell into one +of these paroxysms of emotion, and became so agitated as scarcely to be +able to speak; and at last, with a violent effort, said, "Oh, she is +very like her; she is very like them all!" + +In spite of these emotions which I heard and saw Sir Thomas Lawrence +express, I know positively that at his death a lady, who had been an +intimate acquaintance of our family for many years, put on widow's weeds +for him, in the full persuasion that had he lived he would have married +her, and that, the mutual regard they entertained for each other +warranted her assuming the deepest mourning for him. Not the least +curious part of the emotional demonstrations I have described, was the +contrast which they formed to Sir Thomas Lawrence's habitual demeanor, +which was polished and refined, but reserved to a degree of coldness, +and as indicative of reticent discretion and imperturbable self-control +as became a man who lived in such high social places, and frequented the +palaces of royalty and the boudoirs of the great rival beauties of the +English aristocracy. On my twentieth birthday, which occurred soon after +my first appearance, Lawrence sent me a magnificent proof-plate of +Reynolds's portrait of my aunt as the "Tragic Muse," beautifully framed, +and with this inscription: "This portrait, by England's greatest +painter, of the noblest subject of his pencil, is presented to her niece +and worthy successor, by her most faithful humble friend and servant, +Lawrence." When my mother saw this, she exclaimed at it, and said, "I am +surprised he ever brought himself to write those words--her 'worthy +successor.'" A few days after, Lawrence begged me to let him have the +print again, as he was not satisfied with the finishing of the frame. It +was sent to him, and when it came back he had effaced the words in which +he had admitted _any_ worthy successor to his "Tragic Muse;" and Mr. +H----, who was at that time his secretary, told me that Lawrence had the +print lying with that inscription in his drawing-room for several days +before sending it to me, and had said to him, "Cover it up; I cannot +bear to look at it." + +One day, at the end of my sitting, Lawrence showed me a lovely portrait +of Mrs. Inchbald, of whom my mother, as we drove home, told me a number +of amusing anecdotes. She was very beautiful, and gifted with original +genius, as her plays and farces and novels (above all, the "Simple +Story") testify; she was not an actress of any special merit, but of +respectable mediocrity. She stuttered habitually, but her delivery was +never impeded by this defect on the stage; a curious circumstance, not +uncommon to persons who have that infirmity, and who can read and recite +without suffering from it, though quite unable to speak fluently. Mrs. +Inchbald was a person of a very remarkable character, lovely, poor, with +unusual mental powers and of irreproachable conduct. Her life was +devoted to the care of some dependent relation, who from sickness was +incapable of self-support. Mrs. Inchbald had a singular uprightness and +unworldliness, and a childlike directness and simplicity of manner, +which, combined with her personal loveliness and halting, broken +utterance, gave to her conversation, which was both humorous and witty, +a most peculiar and comical charm. Once, after traveling all day in a +pouring rain, on alighting at her inn, the coachman, dripping all over +with wet, offered his arm to help her out of the coach, when she +exclaimed, to the great amusement of her fellow-travelers, "Oh, no, no! +y-y-y-you will give me m-m-m-my death of c-c-c-cold; do bring me a-a-a-a +_dry_ man." An aristocratic neighbor of hers, with whom she was slightly +acquainted, driving with his daughter in the vicinity of her very humble +suburban residence, overtook her walking along the road one very hot +day, and, stopping his carriage, asked her to let him have the pleasure +of taking her home; when she instantly declined, with the characteristic +excuse that she had just come from the market gardener's: "And, my lord, +I-I-I have my pocket f-f-full of onions,"--an unsophisticated statement +of facts which made them laugh extremely. At the first reading of one of +her pieces, a certain young lady, with rather a lean, lanky figure, +being proposed to her for the part of the heroine, she indignantly +exclaimed, "No, no, no; I-I-I-I won't have that s-s-s-stick of a girl! +D-d-d-do give me a-a-a girl with _bumps!_" Coming off the stage one +evening, she was about to sit down by Mrs. Siddons in the green-room, +when suddenly, looking at her magnificent neighbor, she said, "No, I +won't s-s-s-sit by you; you're t-t-t-too handsome!"--in which respect +she certainly need have feared no competition, and less with my aunt +than any one, their style of beauty being so absolutely dissimilar. +Somebody speaking of having oysters for supper, much surprise was +excited by Mrs. Inchbald's saying that she had never eaten one. +Questions and remonstrances, exclamations of astonishment, and earnest +advice to enlarge her experience in that respect, assailed her from the +whole green-room, when she finally delivered herself thus: "Oh no, +indeed! I-I-I-I never, never could! What! e-e-e-eat the eyes and +t-t-t-the nose, the teeth a-a-a-and the toes, the a-a-a-all of a +creature!" She was an enthusiastic admirer of my uncle John, and the +hero of her "Simple Story," Doriforth, is supposed to have been intended +by her as a portrait of him. On one occasion, when she was sitting by +the fireplace in the green-room, waiting to be called upon the stage, +she and Miss Mellon (afterward Mrs. Coutts and Duchess of St Albans) +were laughingly discussing their male friends and acquaintances from the +matrimonial point of view. My uncle John, who was standing near, +excessively amused, at length jestingly said to Mrs. Inchbald, who had +been comically energetic in her declarations of who she could or would, +or never could or would, have married, "Well, Mrs. Inchbald, would you +have had me?" "Dear heart!" said the stammering beauty, turning her +sweet sunny face up to him, "I'd have j-j-j-jumped at you!" + +One day Lawrence took us, from the room where I generally sat to him, +into a long gallery where were a number of his pictures, and, leading me +by the hand, desired me not to raise my eyes till he told me. On the +word of command I looked up, and found myself standing close to and +immediately underneath, as it were, a colossal figure of Satan. The +sudden shock of finding myself in such proximity to this terrible image +made me burst into nervous tears. Lawrence was greatly distressed at the +result of his experiment, which had been simply to obtain a verdict from +my unprepared impression of the power of his picture. A conversation we +had been having upon the subject of Milton and the character of Satan +had made him think of showing this picture to me. I was too much +agitated to form any judgment of it, but I thought I perceived through +its fierce and tragical expression some trace of my uncle's face and +features, a sort of "more so" of the bitter pride and scornful +melancholy of the banished Roman in the Volscian Hall. Lawrence's +imagination was so filled with the poetical and dramatic suggestions +which he derived from the Kemble brother and sister, that I thought a +likeness of them lurked in this portrait of the Prince of Darkness; and +perhaps he could scarcely have found a better model for his archfiend +than my uncle, to whom his mother occasionally addressed the +characteristic reproof, "Sir, you are as proud as Lucifer!" (He and that +remarkable mother of his must really have been a good deal like +Coriolanus and Volumnia.) To console me for the fright he had given me, +Lawrence took me into his drawing-room--that beautiful apartment filled +with beautiful things, including his magnificent collection of original +drawings by the old masters, and precious gems of old and modern +art--the treasure-house of all the exquisite objects of beauty and +curiosity that he had gathered together during his whole life, and that +(with the exception of Raphael's and Michael Angelo's drawings, now in +the museum at Oxford) were so soon, at his most unexpected death, to be +scattered abroad and become, in separate, disjointed portions, the +property of a hundred different purchasers. Here, he said, he hoped +often to persuade my father and mother and myself to pass our unengaged +evenings with him; here he should like to make my brother John, of whom +I had spoken enthusiastically to him, free of his art collections; and, +adding that he would write to my mother to fix the day for my first +sitting for Juliet, he put into my hands a copy of the first edition of +Milton's "Paradise Lost." I never entered that room or his house, or saw +him again; he died about ten days after that. + +Lawrence did not talk much while he took his sketch of me, and I +remember very little that passed between him and my mother but what was +purely personal. I recollect he told me that I had a double row of +eyelashes, which was an unusual peculiarity. He expressed the most +decided preference for satin over every other material for painting, +expatiating rapturously on the soft, rich folds and infinitely varied +lights and shadows which that texture afforded above all others. He has +dressed a great many of his female portraits in white satin. He also +once said that he had been haunted at one time with the desire to paint +a blush, that most enchanting "incident" in the expression of a woman's +face, but, after being driven nearly wild with the ineffectual endeavor, +had had to renounce it, never, of course, he said, achieving anything +but a _red face_. I remember the dreadful impression made upon me by a +story he told my mother of Lady J---- (George the Fourth's Lady J----), +who, standing before her drawing-room looking-glass, and unaware that he +was in the rooms, apostrophized her own reflection with this reflection: +"I swear it would be better to go to hell at once than live to grow old +and ugly." + +Lawrence once said that we never dreamed of ourselves as younger than we +were; that even if our dreams reproduce scenes and people and +circumstances of our youth and childhood we were always represented, by +our sleeping imagination, at our present age. I presume he spoke of his +own experience, and I cannot say that I recollect any instance in mine +that contradicts this theory. It seems curious, if it is true, that in +the manifold freaks of our sleeping fancy self-consciousness should +still exist to a sufficient degree to preserve unaltered one's own +conditions of age and physical appearance. I wonder whether this is +really the common experience of people's dreams? Frederick Maurice told +me a circumstance in curious opposition to this theory of Lawrence's. A +young woman whom he knew, of more than usual mental and moral +endowments, married a man very much her inferior in mind and character, +and appeared to him to deteriorate gradually but very perceptibly under +his influence. "As the husband is, the wife is," etc. Toward the middle +of her life she told him that at one time she had carried on a double +existence in her sleeping and waking hours, her dreams invariably taking +her back to the home and period of her girlhood, and that she resumed +this dream-life precisely where she left it off, night after night, for +a considerable period of time,--poor thing!--perhaps as long as the +roots of the young nobler self survived below the soil of a baser +present existence. This story seemed to me always very pathetic. It must +have been dismal to lose that dream life by degrees, as the real one ate +more and more into her nature. + +Of Lawrence's merit as a painter an unduly favorable estimate was taken +during his life, and since his death his reputation has suffered an +undue depreciation. Much that he did partook of the false and bad style +which, from the deeper source of degraded morality, spread a taint over +all matters of art and taste, under the vicious influence of the "first +gentleman of Europe," whose own artistic preferences bore witness, quite +as much as the more serious events of his life, how little he deserved +the name. Hideous Chinese pagoda pavilions, with grotesque and monstrous +decorations, barbarous alike in form and in color; mean and ugly +low-roomed royal palaces, without either magnificence or simplicity; +military costumes, in which gold and silver lace were plastered together +on the same uniform, testified to the perverted perception of beauty and +fitness which presided in the court of George the Fourth. Lawrence's own +portrait of him, with his corpulent body girthed in his stays and +creaseless coat, and his heavy falling cheek supported by his stiff +stock, with his dancing-master's leg and his frizzled barber's-block +head, comes as near a caricature as a flattered likeness of the original +(which was a caricature) dares to do. To have had to paint that was +enough to have vulgarized any pencil. The defect of many of Lawrence's +female portraits was a sort of artificial, sentimental _elegantism_. +Pictures of the fine ladies of that day they undoubtedly were; pictures +of _great_ ladies, never; and, in looking at them, one sighed for the +exquisite simple grace and unaffected dignity of Reynolds's and +Gainsborough's noble and gentle women. + +The lovely head of Lady Nugent, the fine portrait I have mentioned of +Mrs. W----, the splendid one of Lady Hatherton, and the noble picture of +my grandmother, are among the best productions of Lawrence's pencil; and +several of his men's portraits are in a robust and simple style of art +worthy of the highest admiration. His likeness of Canning (which, by the +bye, might have passed for his own, so great was his resemblance to the +brilliant statesman) and the fine portrait he painted for Lord Aberdeen, +of my uncle John, are excellent specimens of his best work. He had a +remarkable gift of producing likenesses at once striking and favorable, +and of always seizing the finest expression of which a face was capable; +and none could ever complain that Lawrence had not done justice to the +very best look they ever wore. Lawrence's want of conscience with regard +to the pictures which he undertook and never finished, is difficult to +account for by any plausible explanation. The fact is notorious, that in +various instances, after receiving the price of a portrait, and +beginning it, he procrastinated, and delayed, and postponed the +completion, until, in more than one case, the blooming beauty sketched +upon his canvas had grown faded and wrinkled before the image of her +youthful loveliness had been completed. + +The renewal of intercourse between Lawrence and my parents, so soon to +be terminated by his death, was the cause to me of a loss which I shall +never cease to regret. My father had had in his library for years +(indeed, as long as I remember) a large volume of fine engravings of the +masterpieces of the great Italian painters, and this precious book of +art we were occasionally allowed to look at for an hour of rare delight; +but it belonged to Sir Thomas Lawrence, and had accidentally been kept +for this long space of time in my father's possession. One of my +mother's first acts, on again entering into friendly relations with +Lawrence, was to restore this piece of property to him; a precipitate +act of honesty which I could not help deploring, especially when, so +soon after this deed of rash restitution, his death brought those +beautiful engravings, with all the rest of his property, to the hammer. + +There is no early impression stronger in my mind than that of some of +those masterpieces, which, together with Winckelmann's fine work on +classical art (our familiarity with which I have elsewhere alluded to), +were among the first influences of the sort which I experienced. Nor can +I ever be too grateful that, restricted as were my parents' means of +developing in us the highest culture, they were still such as, combined +with their own excellent taste and judgment, preserved us from that +which is far worse than ignorance, a liking for anything vulgar or +trivial. That which was merely pretty, in music, painting, or poetry, +was never placed on the same level in our admiration with that which was +fine; and though, from nature as well as training, we enjoyed with great +zest every thing that could in any sense be called good, our enthusiasm +was always reserved for that which was best, an incalculable advantage +in the formation of a fine taste and critical judgment. A noble ideal +beauty was what we were taught to consider the proper object and result +of all art. In their especial vocation this tendency caused my family to +be accused of formalism and artificial pedantry; and the so-called +"classical" school of acting, to which they belonged, has frequently +since their time been unfavorably compared with what, by way of +contrast, has been termed the realistic or natural style of art. I do +not care to discuss the question, but am thankful that my education +preserved me from accepting mere imitation of nature as art, on the +stage or in the picture gallery; and that, without destroying my delight +in any kind of beauty, it taught me a decided preference for that which +was highest and noblest. + +All being in due preparation for my coming out, my rehearsals were the +only interruption to my usual habits of occupation, which I pursued very +steadily in spite of my impending trial. On the day of my first +appearance I had no rehearsal, for fear of over-fatigue, and spent my +morning as usual, in practicing the piano, walking in the inclosure of +St. James's Park opposite our house, and reading in "Blunt's Scripture +Characters" (a book in which I was then deeply interested) the chapters +relating to St. Peter and Jacob. I do not know whether the nervous +tension which I must have been enduring strengthened the impression made +upon me by what I read, but I remember being quite absorbed by it, which +I think was curious, because certainly such subjects of meditation were +hardly allied to the painful undertaking so immediately pressing upon +me. But I believe I felt imperatively the necessity of moderating my own +strong nervous emotion and excitement by the fulfillment of my +accustomed duties and pursuits, and above all by withdrawing my mind +into higher and serener regions of thought, as a respite and relief from +the pressure of my alternate apprehensions of failure and hopes of +success. I do not mean that it was at all a matter of deliberate +calculation or reflection, but rather an instinct of self-preservation, +which actuated me: a powerful instinct which has struggled and partially +prevailed throughout my whole life against the irregular and passionate +vehemence of my temperament, and which, in spite of a constant tendency +to violent excitement of mind and feeling, has made me a person of +unusually systematic pursuits and monotonous habits, and been a frequent +subject of astonishment, not unmixed with ridicule, to my friends, who +have not known as well as myself what wholesomeness there was in the +method of my madness. And I am persuaded that religion and reason alike +justify such a strong instinctive action in natures which derive a +constant moral support, like that of the unobserved but all-sustaining +pressure of the atmosphere, from the soothing and restraining influence +of systematic habits of monotonous regularity. Amid infinite anguish and +errors, existence may preserve a species of outward symmetry and harmony +from this strong band of minute observance keeping down and assisting +the mind to master elements of moral and mental discord and disorder, +for the due control of which the daily and hourly subjection to +recurring rules is an invaluable auxiliary to higher influences. The +external practice does not supply but powerfully supplements the +internal principle of self-control. + +My mother, who had left the stage for upward of twenty years, determined +to return to it on the night of my first appearance, that I might have +the comfort and support of her being with me in my trial. We drove to +the theater very early, indeed while the late autumn sunlight yet +lingered in the sky; it shone into the carriage, upon me, and as I +screened my eyes from it, my mother said, "Heaven smiles on you, my +child." My poor mother went to her dressing-room to get herself ready, +and did not return to me for fear of increasing my agitation by her own. +My dear aunt Dall and my maid and the theater dresser performed my +toilet for me, and at length I was placed in a chair, with my satin +train carefully laid over the back of it; and there I sat, ready for +execution, with the palms of my hands pressed convulsively together, and +the tears I in vain endeavored to repress welling up into my eyes and +brimming slowly over, down my rouged cheeks--upon which my aunt, with a +smile full of pity, renewed the color as often as these heavy drops made +unsightly streaks in it. Once and again my father came to the door, and +I heard his anxious "How is she?" to which my aunt answered, sending him +away with words of comforting cheer. At last, "Miss Kemble called for +the stage, ma'am!" accompanied with a brisk tap at the door, started me +upright on my feet, and I was led round to the side scene opposite to +the one from which I saw my mother advance on the stage; and while the +uproar of her reception filled me with terror, dear old Mrs. Davenport, +my nurse, and dear Mr. Keely, her Peter, and half the _dramatis personæ_ +of the play (but not my father, who had retreated, quite unable to +endure the scene) stood round me as I lay, all but insensible, in my +aunt's arms. "Courage, courage, dear child! poor thing, poor thing!" +reiterated Mrs. Davenport. "Never mind 'em, Miss Kemble!" urged Keely, +in that irresistibly comical, nervous, lachrymose voice of his, which I +have never since heard without a thrill of anything but comical +association; "never mind 'em! don't think of 'em, any more than if they +were so many rows of cabbages!" "Nurse!" called my mother, and on +waddled Mrs. Davenport, and, turning back, called in her turn, "Juliet!" +My aunt gave me an impulse forward, and I ran straight across the stage, +stunned with the tremendous shout that greeted me, my eyes covered with +mist, and the green baize flooring of the stage feeling as if it rose up +against my feet; but I got hold of my mother, and stood like a terrified +creature at bay, confronting the huge theater full of gazing human +beings. I do not think a word I uttered during this scene could have +been audible; in the next, the ball-room, I began to forget myself; in +the following one, the balcony scene, I had done so, and, for aught I +knew, I was Juliet; the passion I was uttering sending hot waves of +blushes all over my neck and shoulders, while the poetry sounded like +music to me as I spoke it, with no consciousness of anything before me, +utterly transported into the imaginary existence of the play. After +this, I did not return into myself till all was over, and amid a +tumultuous storm of applause, congratulation, tears, embraces, and a +general joyous explosion of unutterable relief at the fortunate +termination of my attempt, we went home. And so my life was determined, +and I devoted myself to an avocation which I never liked or honored, and +about the very nature of which I have never been able to come to any +decided opinion. It is in vain that the undoubted specific gifts of +great actors and actresses suggest that all gifts are given for rightful +exercise, and not suppression; in vain that Shakespeare's plays urge +their imperative claim to the most perfect illustration they can receive +from histrionic interpretation: a _business_ which is incessant +excitement and factitious emotion seems to me unworthy of a man; a +business which is public exhibition, unworthy of a woman. + +At four different periods of my life I have been constrained by +circumstances to maintain myself by the exercise of my dramatic faculty; +latterly, it is true, in a less painful and distasteful manner, by +reading, instead of acting. But though I have never, I trust, been +ungrateful for the power of thus helping myself and others, or forgetful +of the obligation I was under to do my appointed work conscientiously in +every respect, or unmindful of the precious good regard of so many kind +hearts that it has won for me; though I have never lost one iota of my +own intense delight in the act of rendering Shakespeare's creations; yet +neither have I ever presented myself before an audience without a +shrinking feeling of reluctance, or withdrawn from their presence +without thinking the excitement I had undergone unhealthy, and the +personal exhibition odious. + +Nevertheless, I sat me down to supper that night with my poor, rejoicing +parents well content, God knows! with the issue of my trial; and still +better pleased with a lovely little Geneva watch, the first I had ever +possessed, all encrusted with gold work and jewels, which my father laid +by my plate and I immediately christened Romeo, and went, a blissful +girl, to sleep with it under my pillow. + + BUCKINGHAM GATE, JAMES STREET, December 14th. + DEAREST ----, + + I received your letter this morning, before I was out of my room, + and very glad I was to get it. You would have heard from me again + ere this, had it not been that, in your present anxious state of + mind respecting your brother, I did not like to demand your + attention for my proceedings. My trial is over, and, thank heaven! + most fortunately. Our most sanguine wishes could hardly have gone + beyond the result, and at the same time that I hail my success as a + source of great happiness to my dear father and mother, I almost + venture to hope that the interest which has been excited in the + public may tend to revive once more the decaying dramatic art. You + say it is a very fascinating occupation; perhaps it is, though it + does not appear to me so, and I think it carries with it drawbacks + enough to operate as an antidote to the vanity and love of + admiration which it can hardly fail to foster. The mere embodying + of the exquisite ideals of poetry is a great enjoyment, but after + that, or rather _for_ that, comes in ours, as in all arts, the + mechanical process, the labor, the refining, the controlling the + very feeling one has, in order to manifest it in the best way to + the perception of others; and when all, that intense feeling and + careful work can accomplish, is done, an actor must often see those + points of his performance which are most worthy of approbation + overlooked, and others, perhaps crude in taste or less true in + feeling, commended; which must tend much, I think, to sober the + mind as to the value of applause. Above all, the constant + consciousness of the immeasurable distance between a fine + conception and the best execution of it, must in acting, as in all + art, be a powerful check to vanity and self-satisfaction. + + As to the mere excitement proceeding from the public applause of a + theater, I am sure you will believe me when I say I do not think I + shall ever experience it. But should I reckon too much upon my own + steadiness, I have the incessant care and watchfulness of my dear + mother to rely on, and I do rely on it as an invaluable safeguard, + both to the purity and good taste of all that I may do on the + stage, and the quiet and soberness of my mind under all this new + excitement. She has borne all her anxieties wonderfully well, and I + now hope she will reap some repayment for them. My dear father is + very happy; indeed, we have all cause for heartfelt thankfulness + when we think what a light has dawned upon our prospects, lately so + dismal and overcast. My own motto in all this must be, as far as + possible, "Beget a temperance in all things." I trust I shall be + enabled to rule myself by it, and in the firm hope that my endeavor + to do what is right will be favored and assisted, I have committed + myself, nothing doubting, to the stormy sea of life. Dearest H----, + the papers will give you a detailed account of my _début_; I only + wish to assure you that I have not embraced this course without due + dread of its dangers, and a firm determination to watch, as far as + in me lies, over its effect upon my mind. It is, after all, but + lately, you know, that I have become convinced that fame and + gratified ambition are not the worthiest aims for one's exertions. + With affectionate love, believe me ever your fondly attached + + FANNY. + + I most sincerely hope that your brother's health is improving, and + if we do not meet sooner, I shall now look forward to Dublin as our + _point de réunion_; that will not be the least of the obligations I + shall owe this happy turn of affairs. + +I do not know whence I derived the deep impression I expressed in this +letter of the moral dangers of the life upon which I was entering; +certainly not from my parents, to whom, of course, the idea that actors +and actresses could not be respectable people naturally did not occur, +and who were not troubled, I am sure, as I then was, with a perception +of the more subtle evils of their calling. I had never heard the nature +of it discussed, and was absolutely without experience of it, but the +vapid vacuity of the last years of my aunt Siddons's life had made a +profound impression upon me,--her apparent deadness and indifference to +everything, which I attributed (unjustly, perhaps) less to her advanced +age and impaired powers than to what I supposed the withering and drying +influence of the overstimulating atmosphere of emotion, excitement, and +admiration in which she had passed her life; certain it is that such was +my dread of the effect of my profession upon me, that I added an earnest +petition to my daily prayers that I might be defended from the evil +influence I feared it might exercise upon me. + +As for my success, there was, I believe, a genuine element in it, for +puffing can send upward only things that have a buoyant, rising quality +in themselves; but there was also a great feeling of personal sympathy +for my father and mother, of kindly indulgence for my youth, and of +respectful recollection of my uncle and aunt; and a very general desire +that the fine theater where they had exercised their powers should be +rescued, if possible, from its difficulties. All this went to make up a +result of which I had the credit. + +Among my experiences of that nauseous ingredient in theatrical life, +puffery, some have been amusing enough. The last time that I gave public +readings in America, the management of them was undertaken by a worthy, +respectable person, who was not, I think, exceptionally addicted to the +devices and charlatanism which appear almost inseparable from the +business of public exhibition in all its branches. At the end of our +first interview for the purpose of arranging my performances, as he was +taking his leave he said, "Well, ma'am, I think everything is quite in a +nice train. I should say things are in a most favorable state of +preparation; we've a delightful article coming out in the ----." Here he +mentioned a popular periodical. "Ah, indeed?" said I, not quite +apprehending what my friend was aiming at. "Yes, really, ma'am, I should +say first-rate, and I thought perhaps we might induce you to be good +enough to help us a little with it." "Bless me!" said I, more and more +puzzled, "how can I help you?" "Well, ma'am, with a few personal +anecdotes, perhaps, if you would be so kind." "Anecdotes?" said I (with +three points of interrogation). "What do you mean? What about?" "Why, +ma'am" (with a low bow), "about Mrs. Kemble, of course." Now, my worthy +agent's remuneration was to consist of a certain proportion of the +receipts of the readings, and, that being the case, I felt I had no +right absolutely to forbid him all puffing advertisements and decently +legitimate efforts to attract public attention and interest to +performances by which he was to benefit. At the same time, I also felt +it imperatively necessary that there should be some limit to these +proceedings, if I was to be made a party to them. I therefore told him +that, as his interest was involved in the success of the readings, I +could not forbid his puffing them to some extent, as, if I did, he might +consider himself injured. "But," said I, while refusing the contribution +of any personal anecdotes to his forthcoming article, "take care what +you do in that line, for if you overdo it in the least, I will write an +article, myself, on my readings, showing up all their faults, and +turning them into ridicule as I do not believe any one else either would +or could. So puff just as quietly as you can." I rather think my agent +left me with the same opinion of my competency in business that Mr. +Macready had expressed as to my proficiency in my profession, namely, +that "I did not know the rudiments of it." + +Mr. Mitchell, who from the first took charge of all my readings in +England, and was the very kindest, most considerate, and most courteous +of all managers, on one occasion, complaining bitterly to my sister of +the unreasonable objection I had to all laudatory advertisements of my +readings, said to her, with a voice and countenance of the most rueful +melancholy, and with the most appealing pathos, "Why, you know, ma'am, +it's really dreadful; you know, Mrs. Kemble won't even allow us to say +in the bills, _these celebrated readings_; and you know, ma'am, it's +really impossible to do with less; indeed it is! Why, ma'am, you know +even Morrison's pills are always advertised as _these celebrated +pills!_"--an illustration of the hardships of his case which my sister +repeated to me with infinite delight. + +When I saw the shop-windows full of Lawrence's sketch of me, and knew +myself the subject of almost daily newspaper notices; when plates and +saucers were brought to me with small figures of me as Juliet and +Belvidera on them; and finally, when gentlemen showed me lovely +buff-colored neck-handkerchiefs which they had bought, and which had, as +I thought, pretty lilac-colored flowers all over them, which proved on +nearer inspection to be minute copies of Lawrence's head of me, I not +unnaturally, in the fullness of my inexperience, believed in my own +success. + +I have since known more of the manufacture of public enthusiasm and +public triumphs, and, remembering to how many people it was a matter of +vital importance that the public interest should be kept alive in me, +and Covent Garden filled every night I played, I have become more +skeptical upon the subject. + +Seeing lately a copy of my play of "Francis the First," with (to my +infinite astonishment) "tenth edition" upon it, I said to a friend, "I +suppose this was a bit of bookseller's puffery; or did each edition +consist of three copies?" He replied, "Oh, no, I think not; you have +forgotten the _furor_ there was about you when this came out." At twenty +I believed it _all_; at sixty-eight I find it difficult to believe _any_ +of it. + +It is certain, however, that I played Juliet upward of a hundred and +twenty times running, with all the irregularity and unevenness and +immature inequality of which I have spoken as characteristics which were +never corrected in my performances. My mother, who never missed one of +them, would sometimes come down from her box and, folding me in her +arms, say only the very satisfactory words, "Beautiful, my dear!" Quite +as often, if not oftener, the verdict was, "My dear, your performance +was not fit to be seen! I don't know how you ever contrived to do the +part decently; it must have been by some knack or trick which you appear +to have entirely lost the secret of; you had better give the whole thing +up at once than go on doing it so disgracefully ill." This was awful, +and made my heart sink down into my shoes, whatever might have been the +fervor of applause with which the audience had greeted my performance. + +My life now became settled in its new shape. I acted regularly three +times a week; I had no rehearsals, since "Romeo and Juliet" went on +during the whole season, and so my mornings were still my own. I always +dined in the middle of the day (and invariably on a mutton-chop, so that +I might have been a Harrow boy, for diet); I was taken by my aunt early +to the theater, and there in my dressing-room sat through the entire +play, when I was not on the stage, with some piece of tapestry or +needlework, with which, during the intervals of my tragic sorrows, I +busied my fingers; my thoughts being occupied with the events of my next +scene and the various effects it demanded. When I was called for the +stage, my aunt came with me, carrying my train, that it might not sweep +the dirty floor behind the scenes; and after spreading it out and +adjusting its folds carefully, as I went on, she remained at the side +scene till I came off again, then gathered it on her arm, and, folding a +shawl around me, escorted me back to my dressing-room and tapestry; and +so my theatrical evenings were passed. My parents would not allow me to +go into the green-room, where they thought my attention would be +distracted from my business, and where I might occasionally meet with +undesirable associates. My salary was fixed at thirty guineas a week, +and the Saturday after I came out I presented myself for the first and +last time at the treasury of the theater to receive it, and carried it, +clinking, with great triumph, to my mother, the first money I ever +earned. + +It would be difficult to imagine anything more radical than the change +which three weeks had made in the aspect of my whole life. From an +insignificant school-girl, I had suddenly become an object of general +public interest. I was a little lion in society, and the town talk of +the day. Approbation, admiration, adulation, were showered upon me; +every condition of my life had been altered, as by the wand of a fairy. +Instead of the twenty pounds a year which my poor father squeezed out of +his hard-earned income for my allowance, out of which I bought (alas, +with how much difficulty, seeing how many other things I would buy!) my +gloves and shoes, I now had an assured income, as long as my health and +faculties were unimpaired, of at least a thousand a year; and the thirty +guineas a week at Covent Garden, and much larger remuneration during +provincial tours, forever forbade the sense of destitution productive of +the ecstasy with which, only a short time before I came out, I had found +wedged into the bottom of my money drawer in my desk a sovereign that I +had overlooked, and so had sorrowfully concluded myself penniless till +next allowance day. Instead of trudging long distances afoot through the +muddy London streets, when the hire of a hackney-coach was matter of +serious consideration, I had a comfortable and elegant carriage; I was +allowed, at my own earnest request, to take riding lessons, and before +long had a charming horse of my own, and was able to afford the delight +of giving my father one, the use of which I hoped would help to +invigorate and refresh him. The faded, threadbare, turned, and dyed +frocks which were my habitual wear were exchanged for fashionably made +dresses of fresh colors and fine texture, in which I appeared to myself +transfigured. Our door was besieged with visitors, our evenings bespoken +by innumerable invitations; social civilities and courtesies poured in +upon us from every side in an incessant stream; I was sought and petted +and caressed by persons of conventional and real distinction, and every +night that I did not act I might, if my parents had thought it prudent +to let me do so, have passed in all the gayety of the fashionable world +and the great London season. So much cordiality, sympathy, interest, and +apparent genuine good-will seemed to accompany all these flattering +demonstrations, that it was impossible for me not to be touched and +gratified,--perhaps, too, unduly elated. If I was spoiled and my head +turned, I can only say I think it would have needed a strong head not to +be so; but God knows how pitiful a preparation all this tinsel, sudden +success, and popularity formed for the duties and trials of my +after-life. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Among the persons whom I used to see behind the scenes were two who, for +different reasons, attracted my attention: one was the Earl of W----, +and the other the Rev. A.F. C----. I was presented to Lord and Lady +W---- in society, and visited them more than once at their place near +Manchester. But before I had made Lord W----'s acquaintance, he was an +object of wondering admiration to me, not altogether unmixed with a +slight sense of the ridiculous, only because it passed my comprehension +how any real, live man could be so exactly like the description of a +particular kind of man, in a particular kind of book. There was no fault +to find with the elegance of his appearance and his remarkable good +looks; he certainly was the beau ideal of a dandy,--with his slender, +perfectly dressed figure, his pale complexion, regular features, fine +eyes, and dark, glossy waves of hair, and the general aristocratic +distinction of his whole person,--and was so like the Earl of So-and-So, +in the fashionable novel of the day, that I always longed to ask him +what he did at the end of the "third volume," and "whether he or Sir +Reginald married Lady Geraldine." But why this exquisite _par +excellence_ should always have struck me as slightly absurd, I cannot +imagine. The Rev. A.F. C---- was the natural son of William IV. and Mrs. +Jordan, and vicar of Maple Durham; when first I came out, this young +gentleman attended every one of my performances, first in one of the +stage boxes and afterward in a still nearer position to the stage, one +of the orchestra reserved seats. Thence, one night, he disappeared, and, +to my surprise, I saw him standing at one of the side scenes during the +whole play. My mother remarking at supper his non-attendance in his +usual place, my father said that he had come to him at the beginning of +the play, and asked, for his mother's sake, to be allowed occasionally +to present himself behind the scenes. My father said this reference to +Mrs. Jordan had induced him to grant the request so put, though he did +not think the back of the scenes a very proper haunt for a gentleman of +his cloth. There, however, Mr. F. C---- came, and evening after evening +I saw his light kid gloves waving and gesticulating about, following in +a sort of sympathetic dumb show the gradual development of my distress, +to the end of the play. My father, at his request, presented him to me, +but as I never remained behind the scenes or went into the green-room, +and as he could not very well follow me upon the stage, our intercourse +was limited to silent bows and courtesies, as I went on and off, to my +palace in Verona, or from Friar Laurence's cell. Mr. F. C---- appeared +to me to have slightly mistaken his vocation: that others had done so +for him was made more manifest to me by my subsequent acquaintance with +him. I encountered him one evening at a very gay ball given by the +Countess de S----. Almost as soon as I came into the room he rushed at +me, exclaiming, "Oh, do come and dance with me, that's a dear good +girl." The "dear good girl" had not the slightest objection to dancing +with anybody, dancing being then my predominant passion, and a chair a +perfectly satisfactory partner if none other could be come by. While +dancing, I was unpleasantly struck with the decidedly unreverend tone of +my partner's remarks. Clergymen danced in those days without reproach, +but I hope that even in those days of dancing clerks they did not often +talk so very much to match the tripping of the light fantastic toe. My +amazement reached its climax when, seeing me exchange signs of amicable +familiarity with some one across the room, Mr. F. C---- said, "Who are +you nodding and smiling to? Oh, your father. You are very fond of him, +ain't you?" To my enthusiastic reply in the affirmative, he said, "Ah, +yes; just so. I dare say you are." And then followed an expression of +his filial disrespect for the highest personage in the realm, of such a +robust significance as fairly took away my breath. Surprised into a +momentary doubt of my partner's sobriety, I could only say, "Mr. F. +C----, if you do not change your style of conversation I must sit down +and leave you to finish the dance alone." He confounded himself in +repeated apologies and entreaties that I would finish the dance with +him, and as I could not find a word to say to him, he went on eagerly to +excuse himself by a short sketch of his life, telling me that he had not +been bred to the Church and had the greatest disinclination to taking +orders; that he had been trained as a sailor, the navy being the career +that he preferred above all others, but that in consequence of the death +of a brother he had been literally taken from on board ship, and, in +spite of the utmost reluctance on his part, compelled to go into the +Church. "Don't you think it's a hard case?" reiterated he, as I still +found it difficult to express my opinion either of him or of his "case," +both appearing to me equally deplorable. At length I suggested that, +since he had adopted the sacred calling he professed, perhaps it would +be better if he conformed to it at least by outward decency of language +and decorum of demeanor. To this he assented, adding with a sigh, "But, +you see, some people have a natural turn for religion; you have, for +instance, I'm sure; but you see I have not." This appeared to me +incontrovertible. Presently, after a pause, he asked me if I would write +a sermon for him, which tribute to my talent for preaching, of which he +had just undergone a sample, sent me into fits of laughter, though I +replied with some indignation, "Certainly not; I am not a proper person +to write sermons, and you ought to write your own!" "Yes," said he, with +rather touching humility, "but you see I can't,--not good ones, at +least. I'm sure you could, and I wish you would write one for me; Mrs. +N---- has." This statement terminated the singular conversation, which +had been the accompaniment to a quadrille. The vicar of Maple Durham is +dead; had he lived he would doubtless have become a bishop; his family +had already furnished its contingent to the army and navy, in Lord E. +and Lord A.F. C----, and the living of Maple Durham had to be filled and +he to be provided for; and whenever the virtues of the Established +Church system are under discussion, I try to forget this, and one or two +similar instances I have known of its vices as it existed in those days. +But that was near "fifty years since," and such a story as that of my +poor sailor-parson friend could hardly be told now. Nor could one often +now in any part of England find the fellow of my friend H. D----, who +was also the predestined incumbent of a family living. He was +passionately fond of hunting; and, clinging to his beloved "pink" even +after holy orders had made it rather indecorous wear, used to huddle on +his sacred garments of office at week-day solemnities of marrying or +burying, and, having accomplished his clerical duties, rapidly divest +himself of his holy robes, and bloom forth in unmitigated scarlet and +buckskins, while the temporary cloud of sanctity which had obscured them +was rapidly rolled into the vestry closet. + +I confess to having heard with sincere sympathy the story of a certain +excellent clergyman of Yorkshire breeding, who, finding it impossible to +relinquish his hunting, carried it on simultaneously with the most exact +and faithful discharge of his clerical duties until, arriving at length +at the high dignity of the archbishopric of York, though neither less +able for, nor less devoted to, his favorite pursuit, thought it +expedient to abandon it and ride to hounds no more. He still rode, +however, harder, farther, faster, and better than most men, but +conscientiously avoided the hunting-field. Coming accidentally, one day, +upon the hounds when they had lost the scent, and trotting briskly away, +after a friendly acknowledgment of the huntsman's salutation, he +presently caught sight of the fox, when, right reverend prelate as he +was, he gave a "view halloo" to be heard half the county over, and fled +in the opposite direction at a full gallop, while the huntsman, in an +ecstasy, cheered on his pack with an exclamation of "That's gospel +truth, if ever I heard it!" + +A.F. C---- was pleasant-looking, though not handsome, like the royal +family of England, whose very noble _port de tête_ he had, with a +charming voice that, my father said, came to him from his mother. + +I have spoken of my being allowed to take riding lessons, and of +purchasing a horse, which was not only an immense pleasure to me, but, I +believe, a very necessary means of health and renovation, in the life of +intense and incessant excitement which I was leading. + +For some time after my first coming out I lost my sleep almost entirely, +and used to lie wide awake the greater part of the night. With more use +of my new profession this nervous wakefulness wore off; but I was +subject to very frequent and severe pains in the side, which any strong +emotion almost invariably brought on, and which were relieved by nothing +but exercise on horseback. The refreshment of this panacea for bodily +and mental ailments was always such to me, that often, returning from +balls where I had danced till daylight, I used to feel that if I could +have an hour's gallop in the fresh morning air, I should be revived +beyond all sleep that I could then get. + +Once only I was allowed to test my theory, and I found that the result +answered my expectations entirely. I had been acting in Boston every +night for a whole week, and on Saturday night had acted in two pieces, +and was to start at one o'clock in the morning for New York, between +which and Boston there was no railroad in those days. I was not feeling +well, and was much exhausted by my hard work, but I was sure that if I +could only begin my journey on horseback instead of in the lumbering, +rolling, rocking, heavy, straw-and-leather-smelling "Exclusive Extra" +(that is, private stage-coach), I should get over my fatigue and the +rest of the journey with some chance of not being completely knocked up +by it. After much persuasion my father consented, and after the two +pieces of our farewell night, to a crowded, enthusiastic house, all the +excitement of which of course told upon me even more than the actual +exertion of acting, I had some supper, and at one o'clock, with our +friend, Major M----, and ----, got on horseback, and rode out of Boston. +Major M---- rode with us only about three miles, and then turned back, +leaving us to pursue our road to Dedham, seven miles farther, where the +carriage, with my father and aunt, was to meet us. + +The thermometer stood at seventeen degrees below zero; it was the middle +of a Massachusetts winter, and the cold intense. The moon was at the +full, and the night as bright as day; not a stone but was visible on the +iron-hard road, that rang under our horses' hoofs. The whole country was +sheeted with snow, over which the moon threw great floods of yellow +light, while here and there a broken ridge in the smooth, white expanse +turned a sparkling, crystalline edge up to the lovely splendor. It was +wonderfully beautiful and exhilarating, though so cold that my vail was +all frozen over my lips, and we literally hardly dared utter a word for +fear of swallowing scissors and knives in the piercing air, which, +however, was perfectly still and without the slightest breath of wind. +So we rode hard and fast and silently, side by side, through the bright, +profound stillness of the night, and never drew rein till we reached +Dedham, where the carriage with my father and aunt had not yet arrived. +Not a soul was stirring, and not a sound was heard, in the little New +England village; the country tavern was fast shut up; not a light +twinkled from any window, or thread of smoke rose from any chimney; +every house had closed its eyes and ears, and gone to sleep. We had +ridden the whole way as fast as we could, and had kept our blood warm by +the violent exercise, but there was every danger, if we sat many minutes +on our saddles in the piercing cold, that we should be all the worse +instead of the better for that circumstance. Mr. ---- rode along the +houses, looking for some possible shelter, and at last, through the +chink of a shutter, spying a feeble glimmer of light, dismounted, and, +knocking, asked if it were possible for me to be admitted there for a +few minutes, till the carriage, which could not be far distant, came up. +He was answered in the affirmative, and I jumped down from my saddle, +and ran into the friendly refuge, while he paced rapidly to and fro +before the house, leading the horses, to keep himself and them alike +from freezing; a man was to come on the coach-box with the driver, to +take them back to Boston. On looking round I found myself in a miserable +little low room, heated almost to suffocation by an iron stove, and +stifling with the peculiar smell of black dye-stuffs. Here, by the light +of two wretched bits of candle, two women were working with the utmost +dispatch at mourning-garments for a funeral which was to take place that +day, in a few hours. They did not speak to me after making room for me +near the stove, and the only words they exchanged with each other were +laconic demands for scissors, thread, etc.; and so they rapidly plied +their needles in silence, while I, suddenly transported from the cold +brightness without into this funereal, sweltering atmosphere of what +looked like a Black Hole made of crape and bombazine, watched the +lugubrious occupation of the women as if I was in a dream, till the +distant rumbling of wheels growing more and more distinct, I took leave +of my temporary hostesses with many thanks (they were poor New England +workwomen, by whom no other species of acknowledgment would have been +received), and was presently fast asleep in the corner of the carriage, +and awoke only long after to feel rested and refreshed, and well able to +endure the fatigue of the rest of the journey. In spite of this +fortunate result, I do not now, after a lapse of forty years, think the +experiment one that would have answered with many young women's +constitutions, though there is no sort of doubt that the nervous energy +generated by any pleasurable emotion is in itself a great preservative +from unfavorable influences. + +My riding-master was the best and most popular teacher in +London--Captain Fozzard--or, as he was irreverently called among his +young Amazons, "Old Fozzard." When my mother took me to the riding +school, he recalled, with many compliments, her own proficiency as an +equestrian, and said he would do his best to make me as fine a +horsewoman as she had been. He certainly did his best to improve a very +good seat, and a heavy, defective hand with which nature had endowed me; +the latter, however, was incorrigible, and so, though I was always a +fearless horsewoman, and very steady in my saddle, I never possessed the +finer and more exquisite part of the accomplishment of riding, which +consists in the delicate and skillful management of a horse's mouth. +Fozzard's method was so good that all the best lady riders in London +were his pupils, and one could tell one of them at a glance, by the +perfect squareness of the shoulders to the horse's head, which was one +invariable result of his teaching. His training was eminently calculated +to produce that result, and to make us all but immovable in our saddles. +Without stirrup, without holding the reins, with our arms behind us, and +as often as not sitting left-sided on the saddle, to go through violent +plunging, rearing, and kicking lessons, and taking our horses over the +bar, was a considerable test of a firm seat, and in all these special +feats I became a proficient. + +One day, when I had gone to the school more for exercise than a lesson, +and was taking a solitary canter in the tan for my own amusement, the +little door under the gallery opened, and Fozzard appeared, introducing +a middle-aged lady and a young girl, who remained standing there while +he advanced toward me, and presently began to put me through all my most +crucial exercises, apparently for their edification. I was always +delighted to go through these particular feats, which amused me +excessively, and in which I took great pride. So I sat through them all, +till, upon a sign from the elder lady, Fozzard, with extreme deference, +opened the door and escorted them forth, and then returning to dismount +me, informed me that I had given a very satisfactory sample of his +teaching to the Duchess of Kent and the Princess Victoria, the latter of +whom was to be placed under his tuition forthwith. + +This was the first time I ever saw the woman who holds the most exalted +position in the world, the Queen of England, who has so filled that +supreme station that her name is respected wherever it is heard abroad, +and that she is regarded by her own people with a loyal love such as no +earthly dignity but that of personal worthiness can command. + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE. + DEAREST H----, + + The kind exertion you made in writing to me so soon after leaving + London deserved an earlier acknowledgment; but when I tell you that + every day since Christmas I have fully purposed writing to you, and + have not been able to do so before to-day, I hope you will excuse + the delay, and believe me when I assure you that not only the + effort you made in going to the theater, but your seeing me at all, + are appreciated by me as very strong marks of your affection for + me. + + Now let me say something to you about Lady C---- L----'s criticism + of my performance. In the first place, nothing is easier than to + criticise by comparison, and hardly anything much more difficult + than to form a correct judgment of any work of art (be it what it + may) upon the foundation of abstract principles and fundamental + rules of taste and criticism; for this sort of analysis is really a + study. Comparison is the criticism of the multitude, and I almost + wonder at its being resorted to by a woman of such ability as Lady + C----. I only say this by the way, for to be compared with either + Mrs. Siddons or Miss O'Neill is above my expectation. They were + both professional actresses, which I can hardly yet claim to be; + women who had for years studied the mechanical part of their art, + and rendered themselves proficients in their business; while + although I have certainly had many advantages, in hearing the stage + and acting constantly, tastefully, and thoughtfully discussed, I am + totally inexperienced in all the minor technical processes, most + necessary for the due execution of any dramatic conception. As to + my aunt Siddons--look at her, H----; look at her fine person, her + beautiful face; listen to her magnificent voice; and supposing that + I were as highly endowed with poetical dramatic imagination as she + was (which I certainly am not), is it likely that there can ever be + a shadow of comparison between her and myself, even when years may + have corrected all that is at present crude and imperfect in my + efforts? + + This is my sole reply to her ladyship. To you, dearest H----, I can + add that I came upon the stage quite uncertain as to the possession + of any talent for it whatever; I do not think I am now deceived as + to the quantity I can really lay claim to, by the exaggerated + praises of the public, who have been too long deprived of any + female object of special interest on the boards to be very nice + about the first that is presented to them; nor am I unconscious of + the amount of work that will be requisite to turn my abilities to + their best use. Wait; have patience; by and by, I hope, I shall do + better. It is very true that to be the greatest actress of my day + is not the aim on which my happiness depends. But having embraced + this career, I think I ought not to rest satisfied with any degree + of excellence short of what my utmost endeavor will enable me to + attain in it.... + + My print, or rather the print of me, from Sir Thomas Lawrence's + drawing, is out. He has promised you one, so I do not. There are + also coming out a series of sketches by Mr. Hayter, from my Juliet, + with a species of _avant propos_ written by Mrs. Jameson; this will + interest you, and I will send you a copy of it when it is + published. + + I will tell you a circumstance of much anxious hope to us all just + now, but as the result is yet uncertain, do not mention it. We have + a species of offer of a living for my brother John, who, you know, + is going into the Church. This is a consummation devoutly to be + wished, and I most sincerely hope we may not be disappointed. He is + still in Germany, very happy and very metaphysical; should we + obtain this living, however, I suppose he would return immediately. + Independently of my wish to see him again, I shall be glad when he + leaves Germany I think; but I have not time for what I think about + Germany to-day, and you must be rather tired of + + Yours most affectionately, + F. A. K. + +Mr. Hayter's graceful sketches of me in Juliet were lithographed and +published with Mrs. Jameson's beautifully written but too flattering +notice of my performance; the original drawings were purchased by Lord +Ellesmere. The second part assigned to me by the theater authorities was +Belvidera, in Otway's "Venice Preserved." I had never read the play +until I learned my part, nor seen it until I acted it. It is, I believe, +one of the longest female parts on the stage. But I had still my +school-girl capacity for committing quickly to memory, and learned it in +three hours. Acting it was a very different matter. I was no longer +sustained by the genius of Shakespeare, no longer stimulated by the +sublime passion and exquisite poetry. Juliet was a reality to me, a +living individual woman, whose nature I could receive, as it were, into +mine at once, without effort, comprehending and expressing it. Belvidera +seemed to me a sort of lay figure in a tragic attitude, a mere, "female +in general," without any peculiar or specific characteristics whatever; +placed as Belvidera is in the midst of sordidly painful and coarsely +agonizing circumstances, there was nothing in the part itself that +affected my feelings or excited my imagination; and the miserable +situations into which the poor creature was thrown throughout the piece +revolted me, and filled me with disgust for the men she had to do with, +without inspiring me with any sympathy for her. In this piece, too, I +came at once into the unfavorable light of full comparison with my +aunt's performance of the part, which was one of her famous ones. A +friend of hers and mine, my dear and excellent William Harness, said +that seeing me was exactly like looking at Mrs. Siddons through the +diminishing end of an opera glass. My personal likeness to her, in spite +of my diminutive size and irregular features, was striking, and of +course suggested, to those who remembered her, associations which were +fatal to my satisfactory performance of the part. I disliked the play +and the character of Belvidera, and I am sure I must have played it very +indifferently. + +I remember one circumstance connected with my first performance of it +which proved how painfully the unredeemed horror and wretchedness of the +piece acted upon my nerves and imagination. In the last scene, where +poor Belvidera's brain gives way under her despair, and she fancies +herself digging for her husband in the earth, and that she at last +recovers and seizes him, I intended to utter a piercing scream; this I +had not of course rehearsed, not being able to scream deliberately in +cold blood, so that I hardly knew, myself, what manner of utterance I +should find for my madness. But when the evening came, I uttered shriek +after shriek without stopping, and rushing off the stage ran all round +the back of the scenes, and was pursuing my way, perfectly unconscious +of what I was doing, down the stairs that led out into the street, when +I was captured and brought back to my dressing-room and my senses. + +The next piece in which I appeared was Murphy's "Grecian Daughter;" a +feeble and inflated composition, as inferior in point of dramatic and +poetical merit to Otway's "Venice Preserved," as that is to any of +Shakespeare's masterpieces. It has situations of considerable effect, +however, and the sort of parental and conjugal interest that infallibly +strikes sympathetic chords in the _pater familias_ bosom of an English +audience. The choice of the piece had in it, in my opinion, an +ingredient of bad taste, which, objectionable as it seemed to me, had +undoubtedly entered into the calculation of the management, as likely to +increase the effect and success of the play; I mean the constant +reference to Euphrasia's filial devotion, and her heroic and pious +efforts in behalf of her old father--incidents in the piece which were +seized upon and applied to my father and myself by the public, and which +may have perhaps added to the feeling of the audience, as they certainly +increased my dislike for the play. Here, too, I again encountered the +formidable impression which Mrs. Siddons had produced in the part, of +which, in spite of the turbid coldness and stilted emphasis of the +style, she had made a perfect embodiment of heroic grandeur and +classical grace. My Euphrasia was, I am sure, a pitiful picture of an +antique heroine, in spite of Macdonald's enthusiasm for the "attitude" +in the last scene, and my cousin Horace Twiss's comical verdict of +approbation, that it was all good, but especially the scene where "you +tip it the tyrant." + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, January 17, 1830. + DEAREST H----, + + Although my mind is much occupied just now with a new part in which + I appear to-morrow, I take advantage of the bodily rest this day + affords me to write you a few lines, which I fear I might not find + time for again as soon as I wish. There was enough in your last + letter, dear H----, to make me melancholy, independently of the + question which you ask respecting my picture in Juliet, and which + the papers have by this time probably answered to you. + + Sir Thomas Lawrence is dead. The event has been most distressing, + and most sudden and unexpected to us. It really seemed as though we + had seen him but the day before we heard of it; and indeed, it was + but a few days since my mother had called on him, and since he had + written to me a long letter on the subject of my Belvidera, full of + refined taste and acute criticism, as all his letters to me were. + It was a great shock; indeed, so much so, that absolute amazement + for a little time prevented my feeing all the regret I have since + experienced about it. Nor was it till I sat down to write to + Cecilia, to request her to prevent any sudden communication of the + event to my aunt Siddons, that I felt it was really true, and found + some relief in crying. I had to act Belvidera that same night, and + it was with a very heavy heart that I repeated those passages in + which poor Sir Thomas Lawrence had pointed out alterations and + suggested improvements. He is a great loss to me, individually. His + criticism was invaluable to me. He was a most attentive observer; + no shade of feeling or slightest variation of action or inflection + of voice escaped him; his suggestions were _always_ improvements, + conveyed with the most lucid clearness; and, as you will easily + believe, his strictures were always sufficiently tempered with + refined flattery to have disarmed the most sensitive self-love. My + Juliet and Belvidera both owe much to him, and in this point of + view alone his loss is irreparable to me. It is some matter of + regret, too, as you may suppose, that we can have no picture of me + by him, but this is a more selfish and less important motive of + sorrow than my loss of his advice in my profession. I understand + that my aunt Siddons was dreadfully shocked by the news, and cried, + "And have I lived to see him go before me!" ... His promise to send + you a print from his drawing of me, dearest H----, he cannot + perform, but I will be his executor in this instance, and if you + will tell me how it can be conveyed to you, I will send you one. + + This letter, my dearest H----, which was begun on Sunday, I now sit + down to finish on Tuesday evening, and cannot do better, I think, + than give you a full account of our last night's success; for a + very complete success it was, I am happy to say. Murphy's play of + "The Grecian Daughter" I suppose you know; or if you do not, your + state is the more gracious, for certainly anything more flat, poor, + and trashy I cannot well conceive. It had been, you know, a great + part of my aunt Siddons's, and nothing better proves her great + dramatic genius than her having clothed so meager a part in such + magnificent proportions as she gave to it, and filled out by her + own poetical conception the bare skeleton Mr. Murphy's Euphrasia + presented to her. This frightened me a great deal; Juliet and + Belvidera scarcely anybody can do ill, but Euphrasia I thought few + people could do well, and I feared I was not one of them. Moreover, + the language is at once so poor and so bombastic that I took double + the time in getting the part by rote I should have taken for any + part of Shakespeare's. My dress was beautiful; I think I will tell + it you. You know you told me even an account of hat and feathers + would interest you. My skirt was made immensely full and with a + long train; it was of white merino, almost as fine as cashmere, + with a rich gold Grecian border. The drapery which covered my + shoulders (if you wish to look for the sort of costume in + engravings, I give you its classical name, _peplum_) was made of + the same material beautifully embroidered, leaving my arms quite + free and uncovered. I had on flesh-colored silk gloves, of course. + A bright scarlet sash with heavy gilt acorns, falling to my feet, + scarlet sandals to match, and a beautiful Grecian head-dress in + gold, devised by my mother, completed the whole, which really had a + very classical effect, the fine material of which my dress was + formed falling with every movement into soft, graceful folds. + + I managed to keep a good heart until I heard the flourish of drums + and trumpets, in the midst of which I had to rush on the stage, and + certainly when I did come on my appearance must have been curiously + in contrast with the "prave 'ords" I uttered, for I felt like + nothing but a hunted hare, with my eyes starting from my head, my + "nostrils all wide," and my limbs trembling to such a degree that I + could scarcely stand. The audience received me very kindly, + however, and after a little while I recovered my breath and + self-possession, and got on very comfortably, considering that, + what with nervousness and the short time they had had to study them + in, none of the actors were perfect in their parts. My father acted + Evander, which added, no doubt, to the interest of the situation. + The play went off admirably, and I dare say it will be of some + service to me, but I fear it is too dull and poor in itself, + despite all that can be done for it, to be of much use to the + theater. One of my great difficulties in the play was to produce + some striking effect after stabbing Dionysius, which was a point in + which my aunt always achieved a great triumph. She used to fall on + her knees as if deprecating the wrath of heaven for what she had + done, and her mode of performing this was described to me. But, + independently of my anxiety to avoid any imitation that might + induce a comparison that could not but be fatally to my + disadvantage, I did not (to you I may venture to confess it) feel + the situation in the same manner. Euphrasia had just preserved her + father's life by a deed which, in her own estimation and that of + her whole nation, entitled her to an immortal dwelling in the + Elysian fields. The only feeling, therefore, that I can conceive as + checking for a moment her exultation would be the natural womanly + horror at the sight of blood and physical suffering, the expression + of which seems to me not only natural to her, as of the "feminine + gender," but not altogether superfluous to reconcile an English + audience to so unfeminine a proceeding as stabbing a man. To + conciliate all this I adopted the course of immediately dropping + the arm that held the dagger, and with the other veiling my eyes + with the drapery of my dress, which answered better my own idea of + the situation, and seemed to produce a great effect. My dearest + H----, this is a long detail, but I think it will interest you and + perhaps amuse your niece; if, however, it wearies your spirits, + tell me so, and another time I will not confine my communications + so much to my own little-corner of life. + + Cecilia dined with us on Sunday, but was very far from well. I have + not seen my aunt Siddons since Sir Thomas Lawrence's death. I + almost dread doing so: she must have felt so much on hearing it; he + was for many years so mixed up with those dearest to her, and his + memory must always recall theirs. I hear Campbell means to write + his life. His letters to me will perhaps be published in it. Had I + known they were likely to be so used, I would have preserved them + all. As it is, it is the merest chance that all of them are not + destroyed; for, admirable as they were in point of taste and + critical judgment, some of them seemed to me such mere specimens of + refined flattery that, having extracted the advice likely to be + profitable to me, I committed the epistles themselves to the + flames, which probably would have been the ultimate destination of + them all; but now they have acquired a sad value they had not + before, and I shall keep them as relics of a man of great genius + and, in many respects, I believe, a truly amiable person. + + The drawing, which is, you know, my mother's property, is safe in + Mr. Lane's hands, and will be restored to us on Saturday. The + funeral takes place to-morrow; my father, I believe, will attend; + neither my mother nor myself can muster courage to witness it, + although we had places offered to us. It is to take place in St. + Paul's, for Westminster Abbey is full. All the beautiful unfinished + portraits which filled his rooms will be returned imperfect to + their owners, and I wonder who will venture to complete them, for + he has certainly not left his like behind him. Reports have been + widely spread that his circumstances were much embarrassed, but I + fancy when all his effects are sold there will be a small surplus. + He behaved with the utmost liberality about his drawing of me, for + he gave it to my mother, and would not accept of any remuneration + for the copyright of the print from Mr. Lane--who, it is said, made + three hundred pounds by the first impressions taken from it--saying + that he had had so much pleasure in the work that he would not take + a farthing for either time or trouble. + + We are all tolerably well; I am quite so, and rejoice daily in that + strength of constitution which, among other of my qualifications, + entitles me to the appellation of "Shetland pony." + + How are you all? How is E----? Tell her all about me, because it + may amuse her. I wish you could have seen me, dear H----, in my + Greek dress; I really look very well in it, and taller than usual, + in consequence of all the long draperies; moreover, I "stood + grandly" erect, and put off the "sidelong stoop" in favor of a more + heroic and statue-like deportment. Oh, H----, I am exceedingly + happy, _et pour peu de chose_, perhaps you will think: my father + has given me leave to have riding lessons, so that I shall be in + right earnest "an angel on horseback," and when I come to Ardgillan + (and it won't be long first) I shall make you mount upon a horse + and gallop over the sand with me; won't you, my dear? Believe me + ever your affectionate + + FANNY. + +The words in inverted commas at the end of this letter had reference to +some strictures Miss S---- had made upon my carriage, and to a family +joke against me in consequence of my having once said, in speaking of my +desire to ride, that I should not care to be an angel in heaven unless I +could be an "angel on horseback." My invariable description of a woman +riding was "a happy woman," and after much experience of unhappiness, +certainly not dissipated by equestrian exercise, I still agree with +Wordsworth that "the horse and rider are a happy pair." After acting the +Grecian Daughter for some time I altered my attitude in the last scene, +after the murder of Dionysius, more to my own satisfaction: instead of +dropping the arm that held the dagger by my side, I raised the weapon to +heaven, as if appealing to the gods for justification and tendering +them, as it were, the homage of my deed; of course I still continued to +vail my eyes and turn my head away from the sight of my victim. + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, Saturday, February 20th. + DEAREST H----, + + I need hardly apologize to you for my long silence, for I am sure + that you will have understood it to have proceeded from no want of + inclination on my part to answer your last, but from really not + having had half an hour at my command in which to do so. I have + thought, too (although that has not prevented my writing), much + upon the tenor of your letter, and the evident depression it was + written in, and I hardly know how to resolve: whether I ought not + to forbear wearying you with matters which every way are discordant + with your own thoughts and feelings, or whether it is better, by + inducing you to answer me, to give you some motive, however + trifling, for exertion. Dearest H----, if the effort of writing to + me is too painful to you, do not do it. I give you a most + disinterested counsel, for I have told you more than once how much + I prize your letters, and you know it is true. Still, I do not + think my "wish is father to my thought" when I say that I think it + is not good for you to lose entirely even such an interest as I am + to you. I say "even such an interest," because I believe your + trouble must have rendered me and my pursuits, for the present at + least, less likely than they have been to occupy a place in your + thoughts. But 'tis for you to decide; if my letters weary or annoy + you, tell me so, dear H----, and I will not write to you until you + can "follow my paces" better. If you do not like to make the + exertion of answering me, I will still continue to let you know my + proceedings, and take it for granted that you will not cease to + love me and think of me. Dear H----, I shall see you this summer + again; you, and yours, whom I love for your sake. I shall go on + with this letter, because if you are inclined for a gossip you can + read it; and if not, it may perhaps amuse your invalid. I have been + uncommonly gay, for me, this winter, and I dare say shall continue + to be so, as it does not disagree with me, and I am so fond of + dancing that a quadrille renders palatable what otherwise would be, + I think, disagreeable enough--the manner in which society is now + organized. I was at a very large party the other night, at the poet + Campbell's, where every material for a delightful evening--good + rooms, pretty women, clever men--was brought into requisition to + make what, after all, appeared to me nothing but a wearisome, hot + crowd. The apartments were overfilled: to converse with anybody for + five minutes was impossible. If one stood up one was squeezed to + death, and if one sat down one was stifled. I, too (who was the + small lioness of the evening), was subjected to a most disagreeable + ordeal, the whole night being stared at from head to foot by every + one that could pass within staring distance of me. You probably + will wonder at this circumstance distressing a young person who + three times a week exhibits herself on the stage to several hundred + people, but there I do not distinguish the individual eyes that are + fixed on me, and my mind is diverted from the annoyances of my real + situation by the distressful circumstances of my feigned one. + Moreover, to add to my sorrows, at the beginning of the evening a + lady spilled some coffee over a beautiful dress which I was wearing + for the first time. Now I will tell you what consolations I had to + support me under these trials; first, the self-approving + consciousness of the smiling fortitude with which I bore my gown's + disaster; secondly, a lovely nosegay, which was presented to me; + and lastly, at about twelve o'clock, when the rooms were a little + thinned, a dance for an hour which sent me home perfectly satisfied + with my fate. By the bye, I asked Campbell if he knew any method to + preserve my flowers from fading, to which he replied, "Give them to + me, and I will immortalize them." I did so, and am expecting some + verses from him in return. + + On Thursday next I come out in Mrs. Beverley; I am much afraid of + it. The play wants the indispensable attribute of all works of + art--imagination; it is a most touching story, and Mrs. Beverley is + a most admirable creature, but the story is such as might be read + in a newspaper, and her character has its like in many an English + home. I think the author should have idealized both his incidents + and his heroine a little, to produce a really fine play. Mrs. + Beverley is not one shade inferior to Imogen in purity, in conjugal + devotion, and in truth, but while the one is to all intents and + purposes a model wife, a poet's touch has made of the other a + divine image of all that is lovely and excellent in woman; and yet, + certainly, Imogen is quite as _real_ a conception as Mrs. Beverley. + The absence of the poetical element in the play prevents my being + enthusiastic about my part, and I am the more nervous about it for + that reason; when I am excited I feel that I can excite others, but + in this case--However, we shall see; I may succeed with it better + than I expect, and perhaps my audience may like to see me as a + quiet, sober lady, after the Belvideras and Juliets and Euphrasias + they have hitherto seen me represent. I will tell you my dress: it + is a silver gray silk, and a white crape hat with drooping + feathers. I think it will be very pretty. My father acts Beverley + with me, which will be a great advantage to me. + + Oh! I must tell you of a delightful adventure which befell me the + other night while I was acting in "The Grecian Daughter." Mr. + Abbot, who personates my husband, Phocion, at a certain part of the + play where we have to embrace, thought fit to clasp me so + energetically in his arms that he threw me down, and fell down + himself. I fell seated, with all my draperies in most modest order, + which was very fortunate, but certainly I never was more frightened + or confused. However, I soon recovered my presence of mind, and + helped my better half on with his part, for he was quite aghast, + poor man, at his own exploit, and I do believe would have been + standing with his eyes and mouth wide open to this moment, if I had + not managed to proceed with the scene somehow and anyhow. + + I gave the commission for your print of me, dear H----, to + Colnaghi, and I hope you will like it, and that the more you look + at it the stronger the likeness will appear to you. Was my brother + John returned from Germany, when last I wrote to you? I forget. + However, he has just left us to take his degree at Cambridge, + previous to being ordained. Henry, too, returned yesterday to + Paris, so that the house is in mourning for its liveliest inmates. + I continue quite well, and indeed I think my work agrees with me; + or if I am a little tired with acting, why, a night's dancing soon + sets me right again. T---- B---- is in town, and came to see me the + other day. I like her; she is a gentle, nice person; she is going + back in a week to Cassiobury. How I wish you and I had wings, and + that Heath Farm belonged to us! It is coming to the time of year + when we first became acquainted; and, besides all its associations + of kindly feeling and affectionate friendship, your image is + connected in my mind with all the pleasantest things in nature--the + spring, May blossoms, glow-worms, "bright hill and bosky dell;" and + it dates from somewhere "twixt the last violet and the earliest + rose," which is not a quotation, though I have put it in inverted + commas, but something that just came to the tip of my pen and looks + like poetry. I must leave off now, for I got leave to stay at home + to-night to write to you instead of going to the opera, with many + injunctions that I would go to bed early; so, now it is late, I + must do so. Good-by, dearest H----; believe me ever + + Yours most affectionately, + + F. A. K. + + P.S.--This is my summer tour--Bath, Edinburgh, Dublin, Liverpool, + Manchester, and Birmingham. I am Miss _Fanny_ Kemble, because Henry + Kemble's daughter, my uncle Stephen's granddaughter, is Miss Kemble + by right of birth. + +The lady who spoiled my pretty cream-colored poplin dress by spilling +coffee on the front of it, instantly, in the midst of her vehement +self-upbraidings and humble apologies for her awkwardness, adopted a +very singular method of appeasing my displeasure and soothing my +distress, by deliberately pouring a spoonful of coffee upon the front +breadth of her own velvet gown. My amazement at this proceeding was +excessive, and it neither calmed my wrath nor comforted my sorrow, but +exasperated me with a sense of her extreme folly and her conviction of +mine. The perpetrator of this singular act of atonement was the +beautiful Julia, eldest daughter of the Adjutant-General, Sir John +Macdonald, and the lady whom the Duke of Wellington pronounced the +handsomest woman in London; a verdict which appeared to me too +favorable, though she certainly was one of the handsomest women in +London. An intimate acquaintance subsisted between her family and ours +for several years, and I was indebted to Sir John Macdonald's +assistance, most kindly exerted in my behalf, for the happiness of +giving my youngest brother his commission in the army, which Sir John +enabled me to purchase in his own regiment; and I was indebted to the +great liberality of Mr. John Murray, the celebrated publisher, for the +means of thus providing for my brother Henry. The generous price +(remuneration I dare not call it) which he gave me for my play of +"Francis the First" obtained for me my brother's commission. + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, March 9th. + DEAREST H----, + + I have been so busy all this day, signing benefit tickets, that I + hardly feel as if I could write anything but "25th March, F.A.K." + Our two last letters crossed on the road, and yours was so kind an + answer to mine, which you had not yet received, that I feel no + further scruple in breaking in upon you with the frivolity of my + worldly occupations and proceedings. + + I was sorry that the newspapers should give you the first account + of my Mrs. Beverley, but my time is so taken up with "an infinite + deal of nothing" that I have not had an hour to call my own till + this evening, and this evening is my only unengaged one for nearly + three weeks to come. + + The papers will probably have set your mind at ease as to the + result of my appearance in "The Gamester;" but although they have + forestalled me in the sum total of the account, there are some + small details which may perhaps interest you, of which they can + give you no knowledge. I shall talk to you much of myself, dearest + H----, and hope it will not weary you; that precious little self is + just now so fully occupied with its own affairs that I have little + else to talk of. [I probably also felt much as our kind and most + comical friend Dessauer used, when he emphatically declared, "Mais, + je m'interesse extrêmement à ce qui me regarde."] + + I do not think I ever spent a more miserable day than the one in + which I acted Mrs. Beverley for the first time. Stage nervousness, + my father and mother both tell me, increases instead of diminishing + with practice; and certainly, as far as my own limited experience + goes, I find it so. The first hazard, I should say, was not half so + fearful as the last; and though on the first night that I ever + stood upon the stage I thought I never could be more frightened in + my life, I find that with each new part my fear has augmented in + proportion as previous success would have rendered it more damaging + to fail. A stumble at starting would have been bad enough, and + might have bruised me; but a fall from the height to which I have + been raised might break my neck, or at any rate cripple me for + life. I do not believe that to fail in a part would make me + individually unhappy for a moment; but so much of real importance + to others, so much of the most serious interests and so much of the + feelings of those most dear to me, is involved in the continuance + of my good fortune, that I am in every way justified in dreading a + failure. These considerations, and their not unnatural result, a + violent headache and side-ache, together with no very great liking + for the part (interesting as it is, it is so perfectly prosaic), + had made me so nervous that the whole of the day was spent in fits + of crying; and when the curtain drew up, and I was "discovered," + I'm sure I must have looked as jaded and tear-worn as poor Mrs. + Beverley ever did. However, all went well with me till the last + act, when my father's acting and my own previous state of + nervousness combined to make my part of the tragedy anything but + feigning; I sobbed so violently that I could hardly articulate my + words, and at the last fell upon the dead body of Beverley with a + hysterical cry that had all the merit of pure nature, if none + other, to recommend it. Fortunately the curtain fell then, and I + was carried to my dressing-room to finish my fit in private. The + last act of that play gives me such pains in my arms and legs, with + sheer nervous distress, that I am ready to drop down with + exhaustion at the end of it; and this reminds me of the very + difficult question which you expect me to answer, respecting the + species of power which is called into play in the act, so called, + of _acting_. + + I am the worst reasoner, analyzer, and metaphysician that ever was + born; and therefore whatever I say on the subject can be worth very + little, as a reply to your question, but may furnish you with some + data for making a theory about it for yourself. + + It appears to me that the two indispensable elements of fine acting + are a certain amount of poetical imagination and a power of + assumption, which is a good deal the rarer gift of the two; in + addition to these, a sort of vigilant presence of mind is + necessary, which constantly looks after and avoids or removes the + petty obstacles that are perpetually destroying the imaginary + illusion, and reminding one in one's own despite that one is not + really Juliet or Belvidera. The curious part of acting, to me, is + the sort of double process which the mind carries on at once, the + combined operation of one's faculties, so to speak, in + diametrically opposite directions; for instance, in that very last + scene of Mrs. Beverley, while I was half dead with crying in the + midst of the real grief, created by an entirely unreal cause, I + perceived that my tears were falling like rain all over my silk + dress, and spoiling it; and I calculated and measured most + accurately the space that my father would require to fall in, and + moved myself and my train accordingly in the midst of the anguish I + was to feign, and absolutely did endure. It is this watchful + faculty (perfectly prosaic and commonplace in its nature), which + never deserts me while I am uttering all that exquisite passionate + poetry in Juliet's balcony scene, while I feel as if my own soul + was on my lips, and my color comes and goes with the intensity of + the sentiment I am expressing; which prevents me from falling over + my train, from setting fire to myself with the lamps placed close + to me, from leaning upon my canvas balcony when I seem to throw + myself all but over it. In short, while the whole person appears to + be merely following the mind in producing the desired effect and + illusion upon the spectator, both the intellect and the senses are + constantly engrossed in guarding against the smallest accidents + that might militate against it; and while representing things + absolutely imaginary, they are taking accurate cognizance of every + real surrounding object that can either assist or mar the result + they seek to produce. This seems to me by far the most singular + part of the process, which is altogether a very curious and + complicated one. I am glad you got my print safe; it is a very + beautiful thing (I mean the drawing), and I am glad to think that + it is like me, though much flattered. I suppose it is like what + those who love me have sometimes seen me, but to the majority of my + acquaintance it must appear unwarrantably good-looking. The effect + of it is much too large for me, but when my mother ventured to + suggest this to Lawrence, he said that that was a peculiarity of + his drawings, and that he thought persons familiar with his style + would understand it. + + My dearest H----, you express something of regret at my necessity + (I can hardly call it choice) of a profession. There are many times + when I myself cannot help wishing it might have been otherwise; but + then come other thoughts: the talent which I possess for it was, I + suppose, given to me for some good purpose, and to be used. + Nevertheless, when I reflect that although hitherto my profession + has not appeared to me attractive enough to engross my mind, yet + that admiration and applause, and the excitement springing + therefrom, may become necessary to me, I resolve not only to watch + but to pray against such a result. I have no desire to sell my soul + for anything, least of all for sham fame, mere notoriety. Besides, + my mind has such far deeper enjoyment in other pursuits; the + happiness of reading Shakespeare's heavenly imaginations is so far + beyond all the excitement of acting them (white satin, gas lights, + applause, and all), that I cannot conceive a time when having him + in my hand will not compensate for the absence of any amount of + public popularity. While I can sit obliviously curled up in an + armchair, and read what he says till my eyes are full of delicious, + quiet tears, and my heart of blessed, good, quiet thoughts and + feelings, I shall not crave that which falls so far short of any + real enjoyment, and hitherto certainly seems to me as remote as + possible from any real happiness. + + This enviable condition of body and mind was mine while studying + Portia in "The Merchant of Venice," which is to be given on the + 25th for my benefit. I shall be much frightened, I know, but I + delight in the part; indeed, Portia is my favoritest of all + Shakespeare's women. She is so generous, affectionate, wise, so + arch and full of fun, and such a true lady, that I think if I could + but convey her to my audience as her creator has conveyed her to + me, I could not fail to please them much. I think her speech to + Bassanio, after his successful choice of the casket, the most + lovely, tender, modest, dignified piece of true womanly feeling + that was ever expressed by woman. + + I certainly ought to act that character well, I do so delight in + it; I know nothing of my dress. But perhaps I shall have some + opportunity of writing to you again before it is acted. Now all I + have to say must be packed close, for I ought to be going to bed, + and I have no more paper. I have taken two riding lessons and like + it much, though it makes my bones ache a little. I go out a great + deal, and that I like very much whenever there is dancing, but not + else. My own home spoils me for society; perhaps I ought not to say + it, but after the sort of conversation I am used to the usual + jargon of society seems poor stuff; but you know when I am dancing + I am "o'er all the ills of life victorious." John has taken his + degree and will be back with us at Easter; Henry has left us for + Paris; A---- is quite well, and almost more of a woman than I am; + my father desires his love to you, to which I add mine to your + eldest niece and your invalid, and remain ever your affectionately + attached + + F. A. K. + + + BLACKHEATH. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I was exceedingly glad to receive your letter. You ask me for my + own criticism on my Portia; you know that I think I am able to do + myself tolerably impartial justice, which may be a great mistake; + but whether it is or not, I request you will believe the following + account in preference to any other report, newspaper or letter, + public or private, whatever. + + In the first place, on my benefit night (my first appearance in the + part) I was so excessively nervous about it, and so shaken with the + tremendous uproar the audience made with their applause, that I + consider that performance entirely out of the pale of criticism, + and quite unworthy of it. I was _frightened_ FLAT to a degree I + could hardly have believed possible after my previous experience. + + I am happy to think that I improve in the part, and sincerely hope + that I shall continue to do so for some time. The principal defect + of my acting in it is that it wants point--brilliancy. I do not do + the trial scene one bit better or worse than the most mediocre + actress would, and although the comic scenes are called delightful + by people whose last idea of comedy was borrowed from Miss C---- or + Miss F----, my mother says (and I believe her) they are very + _vapid_. The best thing I do in the play (and I think it is the + best thing I do at all, except Juliet's balcony scene) is the scene + of the caskets, with Bassanio, and this I think I do _well_. But + the scene is of so comparatively subdued, quiet, and uneffective a + nature that I think the occupants of the stage boxes and the first + three rows of the pit must be the only part of the audience who + know anything about my acting of that portion of the play. I like + the part better than any I have yet played. I delight in the + poetry, and my heart goes with every sentiment Portia utters. I + have a real satisfaction in acting it, which is more than I can say + for anything else I have yet had to do. Juliet, with the exception + of the balcony scene, I act; but I feel as if I _were_ Portia--and + how I wish I were! It is not a part that is generally much liked by + actresses, or that excites much enthusiasm in the public; there are + no violent situations with which to (what is called) "bring the + house down." Even the climax of the piece, the trial scene, I + should call, as far as Portia is concerned, rather grand and + impressive than strikingly or startlingly effective; and with the + exception of that, the whole character is so delicate, so nicely + blended, so true, and so free from all exaggeration, that it seems + to me hardly fit for a theater, much less one of our immense + houses, which require acting almost as _splashy_ and coarse in + color and outline as the scene-painting of the stage is obliged to + be. Covent Garden is too large a frame for that exquisite, + harmonious piece of portrait painting. This is a long lecture, but + I hope it will not be an uninteresting one to you; and now let me + tell you something of my dresses, which cost my poor mother sad + trouble, and were really beautiful. My first was an open skirt of + the palest pink levantine, shot with white and the deepest + rose-color (it was like a gown made of strawberries and cream), the + folds of which, as the light fell upon them, produced the most + beautiful shades of shifting hues possible. The under-dress was a + very pale blue satin, brocaded with silver, of which my sleeves + were likewise made; the fashion of the costume was copied from + sundry pictures of Titian and Paul Veronese--the pointed body, cut + square over the bosom and shoulders, with a full white muslin shirt + drawn round my neck, and wide white sleeves within the large blue + and silver brocade ones. _Comprenez-vous_ all this? My head was + covered with diamonds (_not real_; I'm anxious for my character), + and what delighted me much more was that I had jewels in the roses + of my shoes. I think if I had been Portia I never would have worn + any ornaments but two large diamonds in my shoe bows. You see, it + shows a pretty good stock of diamonds and a careless superiority to + such possessions to wear them on one's feet. Now pray don't laugh + at me, I was so enchanted with my fine shoes! This was my first + dress; the second was simply the doctor's black gown, with a + curious little authentic black velvet hat, which was received with + immense applause when I put it on; I could hardly keep my + countenance at the effect my hat produced. My third dress, my own + favorite, was made exactly like the first, the ample skirt gathered + all round into the stomacher body; the material was white satin, + trimmed with old point lace and Roman pearls, with a most beautiful + crimson velvet hat, a perfect Rubens, with one sweeping white + feather falling over it.... + + We are spending our holiday of Passion week here for the sake of a + little quiet and fresh air; we had intended going to Dover, but + were prevented. You ask me after my mother: she is pretty well now, + but her health is extremely uncertain, and her spirits, which are + likewise very variable, have so much influence over it that her + condition fluctuates constantly; she has been very well, though, + for the last few days. London, I think, never agrees with her, and + we have been racketing to such a degree that quiet had become not + only desirable but necessary. Thank you for wishing me plenty of + dancing. I have abundance of it, and like it extremely; but I fear + I am very unreasonable about it, for my conscience smote me the + other day when I came to consider that the night before, although + my mother had stayed at a ball with me till three in the morning, I + was by no means gracious in my obedience to her request that I + should spare myself for my work. You see, dear H----, I am much the + same as ever, still as foolishly fond of dancing, and still, I + fear, almost as far from "begetting a temperance in all things" as + when you and I wandered about Heath Farm together. + + We met with a comical little adventure the other evening. We were + wandering over the common, and encountered two gypsies. I always + had desired to have my fortune told, so A---- and I each seized + hold of a sibyl and listened to our fates. + + After predicting to me all manner of good luck and two lovers, and + foretelling that I should marry blue eyes (which I will not), the + gypsy went up to my father, and began, "Pray, sir, let me tell your + fortune: you have been much wronged, sir, kept out of your rights, + sir, and what belonged to you, sir,--and that by them as you + thought was your friends, sir." My father turned away laughing, but + my mother, with a face of amazed and amazing credulity, put her + hand in her pocket, exclaiming, "I must give her something for + that, though!" Isn't that delicious? + + Oh, H----! how hard it is to do right and be good! But to be sure, + "if to do were as easy as to know what were good to be done," etc. + How I wish I could have an hour's talk with you! I have so much to + say, and I have neither time nor paper to say it in; so I must + leave off. + + Good-by, God bless you; pray look forward to the pleasure of seeing + me, and believe me ever + + Your affectionate + F. A. K. + +The house where I used to visit at Lea, in the neighborhood of +Blackheath, was a girls' school, kept by ladies of the name of Grimani, +in which my aunt Victoire Decamp was an assistant governess. These +ladies were descended from a noble Venetian family, of which the +Reverend Julian Young, their nephew, has given an account in his +extremely interesting and amusing memoir of his father; his mother, +Julia Grimani, being the sister of my kind friends, the directresses of +the Blackheath school. One of these, Bellina Grimani, a charming and +attractive woman, who was at one time attached to the household of the +ill-fated and ill-conducted Caroline of Brunswick, Princess of Wales, +died young and single. The elder Miss Grimani married a Mr. H---- within +a few years. Though I have never in the intervening fifty years met with +them, I have seen two ladies who were nieces of Miss Grimani, and pupils +in her school when I was a small visitor there. My principal +recollections connected with the place were the superior moral +excellence of one of these damsels, E---- B----, who was held up before +my unworthy eyes as a model of school-girl virtue, at once to shame and +encourage me; Bellina Grimani's sweet face and voice; some very fine +cedar trees on the lawn, and a picture in the drawing-room of Prospero +with his three-year-old Miranda in a boat in the midst of a raging sea, +which work of art used to shake my childish bosom with a tragical +passion of terror and pity, invariably ending in bitter tears. I was +much spoiled and very happy during my visits to Lea, and had a blissful +recollection of the house, garden, and whole place that justified my +regret in not being able, while staying at Blackheath fifteen years +after, to find or identify it. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + + JAMES STREET, BUCKINGHAM GATE, May 2d. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received your kind letter the other night (that is, morning) on + my return from a ball, and read your reflections on dissipation + with an attention heightened by the appropriate comment of a bad + headache and abject weariness from top to toe with dancing. The way + in which people _prosecute_ their pleasures in this good town of + London is certainly amazing; and we are (perforce) models of + moderation, compared with most of our acquaintance. I met at that + very ball persons who had been to one and two parties previously, + and were leaving that dance to hurry to another. Independently of + the great fatigue of such a life, it seems to me so strange that + when people are enjoying themselves to their hearts' content in one + place, they cannot be satisfied to remain there until they wish to + return home, but spend half the night in the streets, running from + one house to another, working their horses to death, and wasting + the precious time when they might be DANCING. You see my folly is + not so great but that I have philosophy to spare for my neighbors. + Let me tell you again, dear H----, how truly I rejoice in your + niece's restored health. The spring, too, is the very time for such + a resurrection, when every day and every hour, every cloud and + every flower, offer inexhaustible matter for the capabilities of + delight thus regained. Indeed, "the drops on the trees are the most + beautiful of all!" [E---- T----'s exclamation during one of her + first drives after the long imprisonment of her nervous malady.] A + wonderful feeling of renewed hope seems to fill the heart of all + created things in the spring, and even here in this smoky town it + finds its way to us, inclosed as we are by brick walls, dusty + streets, and all things unlovely and unnatural! I stood yesterday + in the little court behind our house, where two unhappy poplars and + a sycamore tree were shaking their leaves as if in surprise at the + acquisition and to make sure they had them, and looked up to the + small bit of blue sky above them with pleasurable spring tears in + my eyes. How I wish I were rich and could afford to be out of town + now! I always dislike London, and this lovely weather gives me a + sort of _mal du pays_ for the country. My dearest H----, you must + not dream of leaving Ardgillan just when I am coming to see you; + that would be indeed a disappointment. My father is not at home at + this moment, but I shall ask him before I close this letter the + exact time when we shall be in Dublin. I look forward with much + pleasure to making my aunt Dall known to you. She is, I am happy to + say, coming with me, for indeed she is in some sense my "all the + world." You have often heard me speak of her, but it is difficult + for words to do justice to one whose whole life is an uninterrupted + stream of usefulness, goodness, and patient devotion to others. I + know but one term that, as the old writers say, "delivers" her + fully, and though it is not unfrequently applied, I think she is + the only person I know who really deserves it; she is _absolutely + unselfish_. I am sure, dear H----, you will excuse this panegyric, + though you do not know how well it is deserved; the proof of its + being so is that there is not one of us but would say the same of + aunt Dall. + + My father's benefit took place last Wednesday, when I acted + Isabella; the house was crowded, and the play very successful; I + think I played it well, and I take credit to myself for so doing, + for I dislike both play and part extremely. The worst thing I do in + it is the soliloquy when I am about to stab Biron, and the best, my + death. My dresses were very beautiful, and I am exceedingly glad + the whole thing is over. I suppose it will be my last new part this + season. I am reading with great pleasure a purified edition, just + published, of the old English dramatists; the work, as far as my + ignorance of the original plays will enable me to judge, seems very + well executed, and I owe the editor many thanks for some happy + hours spent with his book. I have just heard something which annoys + me not a little: I am to prepare to act Mrs. Haller. I know very + well that nobody was ever at liberty in this world to do what they + liked and that only; but when I know with what task-like feeling I + set about most of my work, I am both amused and provoked when + people ask me if I do not delight in acting. I have not an idea + what to do with that part; however, I must apply myself to it, and + try; such mawkish sentiment, and such prosaic, commonplace language + seem to me alike difficult to feel and to deliver. + + My dear H----, I shall be in Ireland the whole month of July. I am + coming first to Dublin, and shall afterward go to Cork. You really + must not be away when I come, for if you are, I won't come, which + is good Irish, isn't it? I do not feel as you do, at all, about the + sea. Instead of depressing my spirits, it always raises them; it + seems to me as if the vast power of the great element communicated + itself to me. I feel _strong_, as I run by the side of the big + waves, with something of their strength, and the same species of + wild excitement which thunder and lightning produce in me always + affects me by the sea-shore. I never saw the sea but once violently + agitated, and then I was so well pleased with its appearance that I + took a boat and went out into the bustle, singing with all my + might, which was the only vent I could find for my high spirits; it + is true that I returned in much humiliation, very seasick, after a + short "triumph of Galatea" indeed. + + You ask me in one of your last why I do not send you verses any + more, as I used to do, and whether I still write any. So here I + send you some which I improvised the other day in your honor, and + which, written hurriedly as they were, will not, I think, stand the + test of any very severe criticism:-- + + Whene'er I recollect the happy time + When you and I held converse sweet together, + There come a thousand thoughts of sunny weather, + Of early blossoms, and the young year's prime. + Your memory lives for ever in my mind, + With all the fragrant freshness of the spring, + With odorous lime and silver hawthorn twined, + And mossy rest and woodland wandering. + There's not a thought of you but brings along + Some sunny glimpse of river, field, and sky; + Your voice sets words to the sweet blackbird's song, + And many a snatch of wild old melody; + And as I date it still our love arose + 'Twixt the last violet and the earliest rose. + + I never go anywhere without a book wherein I may scratch my + valuable ideas, and therefore when we meet I will show you my + present receptacle. I take great delight in writing, and write less + incorrectly than I used to do. I have not time now to go on with + this letter, and as I am anxious you should know when to expect us, + I shall not defer it in the hope of making it more amusing, though + I fear it is rather dull. But you will not mind that, and will + believe me ever your affectionate + + FANNY KEMBLE. + +The arrangement of Massinger for the family library by my friend the +Reverend Alexander Dyce, the learned Shakespearean editor and +commentator, was my first introduction to that mine of dramatic wealth +which enriched the literature of England in the reigns of Elizabeth and +James the First, and culminated in the genius of Shakespeare. It is by +comparison with them, his contemporaries, that we arrive at a just +estimate of his supremacy. I was so enchanted with these plays of +Massinger's, but more especially with the one called "The Maid of +Honor," that I never rested till I had obtained from the management its +revival on the stage. The part of Camiola is the only one that I ever +selected for myself. "The Maid of Honor" succeeded on its first +representation, but failed to attract audiences. Though less defective +than most of the contemporaneous dramatic compositions, the play was +still too deficient in interest to retain the favor of the public. The +character of Camiola is extremely noble and striking, but that of her +lover so unworthy of her that the interest she excites personally fails +to inspire one with sympathy for her passion for him. The piece in this +respect has a sort of moral incoherency, which appears to me, indeed, +not an infrequent defect in the compositions of these great dramatic +pre-Shakespearites. There is a want of psychical verisimilitude, a +disjointed abruptness, in their conceptions, which, in spite of their +grand treatment of separate characters and the striking force of +particular passages, renders almost every one of their plays +inharmonious as a whole, however fine and powerful in detached parts. +Their selection of abnormal and detestable subjects is a distinct +indication of intellectual weakness instead of vigor; supreme genius +alone perceives the beauty and dignity of human nature and human life in +their common conditions, and can bring to the surface of vulgar, +every-day existence the hidden glory that lies beneath it. + +The strictures contained in these girlish letters on the various plays +in which I was called to perform the heroines, of course partake of the +uncompromising nature of all youthful verdicts. Hard, sharp, and +shallow, they never went lower than the obvious surface of things, and +dealt easily, after the undoubting youthful fashion, with a main result, +without any misgiving as to conflicting causes or painful anxiety about +contradictory component parts. At the beginning of life, the ignorant +moral and intellectual standard alike have definite form and decided +color; time, as it goes on, dissolves the outline into vague +indistinctness, and reveals lights and shades so various and +innumerable, that toward the end of life criticism grows diffident, +opinion difficult, and positive judgment almost impossible. + +My first London season was now drawing to an end, and preparations were +begun for a summer tour in the provinces. There had been some talk of my +beginning with Brighton, but for some reason or other this fell through. + + BATH, May 31, 1830. + MY DEAR H----, + + I have owed you an answer, and a most grateful one, for some time + past, for your kindness in writing me so long a letter as your + last; but when I assure you that, what with leave-taking, trying on + dresses, making purchases, etc., etc., and all the preparations for + our summer tour, this is the first moment in which I have been able + to draw a long breath for the last month, I am sure you will + forgive me, and believe, notwithstanding my long silence, that I + was made very happy indeed by your letter. I bade Covent Garden and + my dear London audience farewell on Friday last, when I acted Lady + Townley for the first time. The house was crammed, and as the + proprietors had fixed that night for a second benefit which they + gave me, I was very glad that it was so. I was very nicely dressed, + and to my own fancy acted well, though I dare say my performance + was a little flat occasionally. But considering my own physical + powers, and the immense size of the theatre, I do not think I + should have done better on the whole by acting more broadly; though + I suppose it would have been more effective, I should have had to + sacrifice something of repose and refinement to make it so. I was + very sorry to leave my London audience: they welcomed my first + appearance; they knew the history of our shipwrecked fortunes, and + though perhaps not one individual amongst them would go a mile out + of his way to serve us, there exists in them, taken collectively, a + kind feeling and respect for my father, and an indulgent good-will + toward me, which I do not hope to find elsewhere. I like Bath very + much; I have not been here since I was six years old, when I spent + a year here in hopes of being _bettered_ by my aunt, Mrs. Twiss. A + most forlorn hope it was. I suppose in human annals there never + existed a more troublesome little brat than I was for the few years + after my first appearance on this earthly stage. + + This town reminds me a little of Edinburgh. How glad I shall be to + see Edinburgh once more! I expect much pleasure, too, from the + pleasure of my aunt Dall, who some years ago spent some very happy + time in Edinburgh, and who loves it from association. And then, + dear H----, I am looking forward to seeing you once more; I shall + be with you somewhere in the beginning of June. I have had my first + rehearsal here this morning, "Romeo and Juliet;" the theatre is + much smaller than Covent Garden, which rather inconveniences me, as + a novelty, but the audience will certainly benefit by it. My + fellow-laborers amuse me a good deal; their versions of Shakespeare + are very droll. I wonder what your Irish ones will be. I am + fortunate in my Romeo, inasmuch as he is one of my cousins; he has + the family voice and manner very strongly, and at any rate does not + murder the text of Shakespeare. I have no more time to spare now, + for I must get my tea and go to the theater. I must tell you, + though, of an instance of provincial prudery (delicacy, I suppose I + ought to call it) which edified us not a little at rehearsal this + morning: the Mercutio, on seeing the nurse and Peter, called out, + "A sail, a sail!" and terminated the speech in a significant + whisper, which, being literally inaudible, my mother, who was with + me on the stage, very innocently asked, "Oh, does the gentleman + leave out the shirt and the smock?" upon which we were informed + that "body linen" was not so much as to be hinted at before a truly + refined Bath audience. How particular we are growing--_in word!_ I + am much afraid my father will shock them with the speech of that + scamp Mercutio in all its pristine purity and precision. Good-by, + dear H----. Ever your affectionate + + F. A. K. + + P.S.--My mother desires to be particularly remembered to you. I + want to revive Massinger's "Maid of Honor;" I want to act Camiola. + +The necessity for carrying with us into the provinces a sufficient +number of various parts, and especially of plays in which my father and +myself could fill the principal characters, and so be tolerably +independent of incompetent coadjutors, was the reason of my coming out +in the play of "The Provoked Husband," before leaving London. The +passage in this letter about Lady Townley sufficiently shows how bad my +performance of it must have been, and how absolutely in the dark I was +with regard to the real style in which the part should be played. The +fine lady of my day, with the unruffled insipidity of her _low_ spirits +(high spirits never came near her) and the imperturbable composure of +her smooth insolence, was as unlike the rantipole, racketing high-bred +woman of fashion of Sir John Vanbrugh's play as the flimsy elegance of +my silver-embroidered, rose-colored tulle dress was unlike the elaborate +splendor of her hooped and feathered and high-heeled, patched-and-powdered +magnificence, with its falling laces and standing brocades. The part of +Lady Townley was not only beyond my powers, but has never been seen on +the English stage since the days of Mrs. Abington and Miss Farren, the +latter elegant and spirited actress being held by those who had seen +both less like the original great lady than her predecessor; while even +the Théâtre Français, where consummate study and reverend tradition of +elder art still prevail, has lost more and more the secret of _la grande +manière_ in a gradual descent from the _grande dame_ of Mademoiselle +Contat to the pretty, graceful _femme comme il faut_ of Mademoiselle +Plessis; for even the exquisite Célimène of Mademoiselle Mars was but a +"pale reflex" of Molière's brilliant coquette, as played by her great +instructress, Contat. The truth is, that society no longer possesses or +produces that creature, and a good deal of reading, not of a usual or +agreeable kind, would alone make one familiar enough with Lady Townley +and her like to enable an actress of the present day to represent her +with any verisimilitude. The absurd practice, too, of dressing all the +serious characters of the piece in modern costume, and all the comic +ones in that of the time at which it was written, renders the whole +ridiculously incoherent and manifestly impossible, and destroys it as a +picture of the manners of any time; for even stripped of her hoop and +powder, and her more flagrant coarseness of speech, Lady Townley is +still as unlike, in manners, language, and deportment, any modern lady, +as she is unlike the woman of fashion of Hogarth's time, whose costume +she has discarded. + +The event fully justified my expectation of far less friendly audiences +out of London than those I had hitherto made my appeals to. None of the +personal interest that was felt for me there existed elsewhere, and I +had to encounter the usual opposition, always prepared to cavil, in the +provinces, at the metropolitan verdict of merit, as a mere exhibition of +independent judgment; and to make good to the expectations of the +country critics the highly laudatory reports of the London press, by +which the provincial judges scorned to have a decision imposed upon +them. Not unnaturally, therefore, I found a much less fervid enthusiasm +in my audiences--who were, I dare say, quite justified in their +disappointment--and a far less eulogistic tone in the provincial press +with regard to my performances. Our houses, however, were always very +crowded, which was the essential point, and for my own part I was quite +satisfied with the notices and applause which were bestowed on me. My +cousin, John Mason, was the Romeo to whom I have referred in this +letter. He was my father's sister's son, and, like so many members of +our family, he and one of his brothers and his sister had made the stage +their profession. He had some favorable physical qualifications for it: +a rather striking face, handsome figure, good voice, and plenty of fire +and energy; he was tolerably clever and well-informed, but without +either imagination or refinement. My father, who thought there was the +making of a good actor in him, was extremely kind to him. + + GLASGOW, MONDAY, June 28, 1830. + MY DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I believe that you will have felt too well convinced that I had not + had a moment to spare, to be surprised at my not having sooner + acknowledged your very kind letter; nothing but the incessant + occupation of my time would so long have prevented me from doing + so, but I embrace the opportunity which the king's death affords me + of telling you how much obliged to you I was for writing to me, and + writing as you did. I have little news to return you but what + concerns myself, but I shall make no coquettish excuses about that, + for I really believe 'tis the subject that will interest you most + of any I could find. First, then, I am very well, rather tired, and + sitting at an inn window, in a dull, dark, handsome square in + Glasgow. My fortnight in Edinburgh is over, and a short fortnight + it has been, what with rehearsals, riding, sitting for my bust, and + acting. The few hurried glimpses I have caught of my friends have + been like dreams, and now that I have parted from them, no more to + meet them there certainly, the whole seems to me like mere + bewilderment, and I repeat to myself in my thoughts, hardly + believing it, that the next time that I visit Edinburgh I shall not + find the dear companionship of my cousins nor the fond affection of + Mrs. Henry Siddons. This will be a severe loss to me; Edinburgh + will, I fear, be without its greatest charm, and it will remain to + be proved whether these lovely scenes that I have so admired and + delighted in owed all their incomparable fascination to their + intrinsic beauty, or to that most pleasurable frame of mind I + enjoyed at the same time, the consciousness of the kind regard of + the excellent human beings among whom I lived. + + You will naturally expect me to say something of my theatrical + experiences in the modern Athens. Our houses have been very fine, + our audiences (as is their national nature) very cold; but upon the + whole I believe they were well pleased with us, notwithstanding the + damping influence of the newspapers, which have one and all been + unfavorable to me. The deathlike stillness of the audience, as it + afforded me neither rest nor stimulus, distressed me a good deal; + which, I think I need not tell you, the newspaper criticisms did + not. I was surprised, in reading them, to find how very generally + their strictures were confined to my external disadvantages,--my + diminutive stature and defective features; and that these far-famed + northern critics discussed these rather than what I should have + expected them to bestow their consideration upon, the dramatic + artist's conception of character, and his (or her) execution of + that conception. But had their verdicts been still more severe, I + have a sufficient consolation in two notes of Sir Walter Scott's, + written to the editor of one of the papers, Ballantyne, his own + particular friend, which the latter sent me, and where he bears + such testimony to my exertions as I do not care to transcribe, for + fear my cheeks should reflect a lasting blush on my paper, but + which I keep as a treasure and shall certainly show you with pride + and pleasure when we meet. + + Among the delightful occurrences of last week, I must record our + breakfasting with Walter Scott. I was wonderfully happy. To whom, + since Shakespeare, does the reading world owe so many hours of + perfect, peaceful pleasure, of blessed forgetfulness of all things + miserable and mean in its daily life? The party was a small but + interesting one: Sir Walter and his daughter Anne, his old friend + Sir Adam Ferguson and Lady Ferguson, and Miss Ferrier, the + authoress of "Marriage" and "Inheritance," with both which capital + books I hope, for your own sake, you are acquainted. Sir Walter was + most delightful, and I even forgot all awful sense of his celebrity + in his kind, cordial, and almost affectionate manner toward me. He + is exceedingly like all the engravings, pictures, and busts of him + with which one is familiar, and it seems strange that so varied and + noble an intellect should be expressed in the features of a shrewd, + kindly, but not otherwise striking countenance. He told me several + things that interested me very much; among others, his being + present at the time when, after much searching, the regalia of + Scotland was found locked up in a room in Edinburgh Castle, where, + as he said, the dust of centuries had accumulated upon it, and + where the ashes of fires lit more than two hundred years before + were still lying in the grate. He told me a story that made me cry, + of a poor old lady upward of eighty years of age, who belonged to + one of the great Jacobite families,--she was a Maxwell,--sending to + him at the time the Scottish crown was found, to implore permission + to see it but for one instant; which (although in every other case + the same petition had been refused) was granted to her in + consideration of her great age and the vital importance she seemed + to attach to it. I never shall forget his describing her when first + she saw it, appearing for a moment petrified at sight of it, and + then tottering forward and falling down on her knees, and weeping + and wailing over these poor remains of the royalty of her country + as if it had been the dead body of her child. + + Sir Adam Ferguson is a delightful person, whose quick, bustling + manner forms a striking contrast to Walter Scott's quiet tone of + voice and deliberate enunciation I have also made acquaintance with + Jeffrey, who came and called upon us the other morning, and, I + hear, like some of his fellow-townsmen, complains piteously that I + am not prettier. Indeed, I am very sorry for it, and I heartily + wish I were; but I did not think him handsome either, and I wonder + why he is not handsomer? though I don't care so much about his want + of beauty as he seems to do about mine. But I am running on at a + tremendous rate, and quite forget that I have traveled upward of + forty miles to-day, and that I promised my mother, whenever I + could, to go to bed early. Good-by, my dear Mrs. Jameson. I hope + you will be able to make out this scrawl, and to decipher that I am + yours affectionately, + + F. A. KEMBLE. + +Of the proverbial frigidity of the Edinburgh public I had been +forewarned, and of its probably disheartening effect upon myself. Mrs. +Harry Siddons had often told me of the intolerable sense of depression +with which it affected Mrs. Siddons, who, she said, after some of her +grandest outbursts of passion, to which not a single expression of +applause or sympathy had responded, exhausted and breathless with the +effort she had made, would pant out in despair, under her breath, +"Stupid people, stupid people!" Stupid, however, they undoubtedly were +not, though, as undoubtedly, their want of excitability and +demonstrativeness diminished their own pleasure by communicating itself +to the great actress and partially paralyzing her powers. That this +habitual reserve sometimes gave way to very violent exhibitions of +enthusiasm, the more fervent from its general repression, there is no +doubt; and I think it was in Edinburgh that my friend, Mr. Harness, told +me the whole of the sleep-walking scene in "Macbeth" had once been so +vehemently encored that my aunt was literally obliged to go over it a +second time, before the piece was allowed to proceed. + +Scott's opinion of my acting, which would, of course, have been very +valuable to me, let it have been what it would, was written to his +friend and editor (_eheu!_), Ballantyne, who was also the editor of one +of the principal Edinburgh papers, in which unfavorable criticisms of my +performances had appeared, and in opposition to which Sir Walter Scott +told him he was too hard upon me, and that for his part he had seen +nothing so good since Mrs. Siddons. This encouraging verdict was +courteously forwarded to me by Mr. Ballantyne himself, who said he was +sure I would like to possess it. The first time I ever saw Walter Scott, +my father and myself were riding slowly down Princes Street, up which +Scott was walking; he stopped my father's horse, which was near the +pavement, and desired to be introduced to me. Then followed a string of +cordial invitations which previous engagements and our work at the +theater forbade our accepting, all but the pressing one with which he +wound up, that we would at least come and breakfast with him. The first +words he addressed to me as I entered the room were, "You appear to be a +very good horsewoman, which is a great merit in the eyes of an old +Border-man." Every _r_ in which sentence was rolled into a combination +of double _u_ and double _r_ by his Border burr, which made it memorable +to me by this peculiarity of his pleasant speech. My previous +acquaintance with Miss Ferrier's admirable novels would have made me +very glad of the opportunity of meeting her, and I should have thought +Sir Adam Ferguson delightfully entertaining, but that I could not bear +to lose, while listening to any one else, a single word spoken by Walter +Scott. + +I never can forget, however, the description Sir Adam Ferguson gave me +of a morning he had passed with Scott at Abbotsford, which at that time +was still unfinished, and, swarming with carpenters, painters, masons, +and bricklayers, was surrounded with all the dirt and disorderly +discomfort inseparable from the process of house-building. The room they +sat in was in the roughest condition which admitted of their occupying +it, at all; the raw, new chimney smoked intolerably. Out-of-doors the +whole place was one chaos of bricks, mortar, scaffolding, tiles, and +slates. A heavy mist shrouded the whole landscape of lovely Tweed side, +and distilled in a cold, persistent, and dumb drizzle. Maida, the +well-beloved staghound, kept fidgeting in and out of the room, Walter +Scott every five minutes exclaiming, "Eh, Adam! the puir brute's just +wearying to get out;" or, "Eh, Adam! the puir creature's just crying to +come in;" when Sir Adam would open the door to the raw, chilly air for +the wet, muddy hound's exit or entrance, while Scott, with his face +swollen with a grievous toothache, and one hand pressed hard to his +cheek, with the other was writing the inimitably humorous opening +chapters of "The Antiquary," which he passed across the table, sheet by +sheet, to his friend, saying, "Now, Adam, d'ye think that'll do?" Such a +picture of mental triumph over outward circumstances has surely seldom +been surpassed: house-builders, smoky chimney, damp draughts, restless, +dripping dog, and toothache form what our friend, Miss Masson, called a +"concatenation of exteriorities" little favorable to literary +composition of any sort; but considered as accompaniments or inspiration +of that delightfully comical beginning of "The Antiquary," they are all +but incredible. + +To my theatrical avocation I have been indebted for many social +pleasures and privileges; among others, for Sir Walter Scott's notice +and acquaintance; but among the things it has deprived me of was the +opportunity of enjoying more of his honorable and delightful +intercourse. A visit to Abbotsford, urged upon us most kindly, is one of +the lost opportunities of my life that I think of always with bitter +regret. Sir Walter wanted us to go down and spend a week with him in the +country, and our professional engagements rendered it impossible for us +to do so; and there are few things in my whole life that I count greater +loss than the seven days I might have passed with that admirable genius +and excellent, kind man, and had to forego. I never saw Abbotsford until +after its master had departed from all earthly dwelling-places. I was +staying in the neighborhood, at the house of my friend, Mrs. M----, of +Carolside, and went thither with her and my youngest daughter. The house +was inhabited only by servants; and the housekeeper, whose charge it was +to show it, waited till a sufficient number of tourists and sight-seers +had collected, and then drove us all together from room to room of the +house in a body, calling back those who outstripped her, and the laggers +who would fain have fallen a few paces out of the sound of the dreary +parrotry of her inventory of the contents of each apartment. There was +his writing-table and chair, his dreadnaught suit and thick walking +shoes and staff there in the drawing-room; the table, fitted like a +jeweler's counter, with a glass cover, protecting and exhibiting all the +royal and precious tokens of honor and admiration, in the shape of +orders, boxes, miniatures, etc, bestowed on him by the most exalted +worshipers of his genius, hardly to be distinguished under the thick +coat of dust with which the glass was darkened. Poor Anne Scott's +portrait looked dolefully down on the strangers staring up at her, and, +a glass door being open to the garden, Mrs. M---- and myself stepped out +for a moment to recover from the miserable impression of sadness and +desecration the whole thing produced on us; but the inexorable voice of +the housekeeper peremptorily ordered us to return, as it would be, she +said (and very truly), quite impossible for her to do her duty in +describing the "curiosities" of the house, if visitors took upon +themselves to stray about in every direction instead of keeping together +and listening to what she was saying. How glad we were to escape from +the sort of nightmare of the affair! + +I returned there on another occasion, one of a large and merry party who +had obtained permission to picnic in the grounds, but who, deterred by +the threatening aspect of the skies from gypsying (as had originally +been proposed) by the side of the Tweed, were allowed, by Sir Adam +Ferguson's interest with the housekeeper, to assemble round the table in +the dining-room of Abbotsford. Here, again, the past was so present with +me as to destroy all enjoyment, and, thinking how I might have had the +great good fortune to sit there with the man who had made the whole +place illustrious, I felt ashamed and grieved at being there then, +though my companions were all kind, merry, good-hearted people, bent +upon their own and each other's enjoyment. Sir Adam Ferguson had grown +very old, and told no more the vivid anecdotes of former days; and to +complete my mental discomfort, on the wall immediately opposite to me +hung a strange picture of Mary Stuart's head, severed from the trunk and +lying on a white cloth on a table, as one sees the head of John the +Baptist in the charger, in pictures of Herodias's daughter. It was a +ghastly presentation of the guillotined head of a pretty but rather +common-looking French woman--a fancy picture which it certainly would +not have been my fancy to have presiding over my dinner-table. + +Only once after this dreary party of pleasure did I return, many years +later, to Abbotsford. I was alone, and the tourist season was over, and +the sad autumnal afternoon offering little prospect of my being joined +by other sight-seers, I prevailed with the housekeeper, who admitted me, +to let me wander about the place, without entering the house; and I +spent a most melancholy hour in the garden and in pacing up and down the +terrace overlooking the Tweed side. The place was no longer inhabited at +all; my ringing at the gate had brought, after much delay, a servant +from Mr. Hope's new residence, built at some distance from Scott's +house, and from her I learned that the proprietor of Abbotsford had +withdrawn to the house he had erected for himself, leaving the poet's +dwelling exclusively as a place of pilgrimage for travelers and +strangers, with not even a servant residing under its roof. The house +abandoned to curious wayfarers; the sons and daughters, the grandson and +granddaughter, every member of the founder's family dead; Mr. Hope +remarried to a lady of the house of Arundel, and living in a +semi-monastic seclusion in a house walled off from the tourist-haunted +shrine of the great man whose memory alone was left to inhabit it,--all +these circumstances filled me with indescribable sadness as I paced up +and down in the gloaming, and thought of the strange passion for +founding here a family of the old Border type which had obfuscated the +keen, clear brain of Walter Scott, made his wonderful gifts subservient +to the most futile object of ambition, driven him to the verge of +disgrace and bankruptcy, embittered the evening of his laborious and +glorious career, and finally ended in this,--the utter extinction of the +name he had illustrated and the family he had hoped to found. And while +his noble works remain to make his memory ever loved and honored, this +_Brummagem_ mediæval mansion, this mock feudal castle with its imitation +baronial hall (upon a diminutive scale) hung round with suits of armor, +testifies to the utter perversity of good sense and good taste resulting +from this one mental infirmity, this craving to be a Border chieftain of +the sixteenth century instead of an Edinburgh lawyer of the nineteenth, +and his preference for the distinction of a petty landholder to that of +the foremost genius of his age. Mr. Combe, in speaking of this feudal +insanity of Scott and the piteous havoc it made of his life, told me +that at one time he and Ballantyne, with whom he had entered into +partnership, were staving off imminent ruin by indorsing and accepting +each other's bills, and carried on that process to the extremest verge +compatible with honesty. What a history of astounding success and utter +failure! + + GLASGOW, July 3, 1830. + + You will, ere this, my dear Mrs. Jameson, have received my very + tardy reply to your first kind letter. I got your second last night + at the theater, just after I _had given away my jewels to Mr. + Beverley_. I was much gratified by your profession of affection for + me, for though I am not over-desirous of public admiration and + approbation, I am anxious to secure the good-will of individuals + whose intellect I admire, and on whose character I can with + confidence rely. Your letter, however, made me uncomfortable in + some respects; you seem unhappy and perplexed. I am sure you will + believe me when I say that, without the remotest thought of + intruding on the sacredness of private annoyances and distresses, I + most sincerely sympathize in your uneasiness, whatever may be its + cause, and earnestly pray that the cloud, which the two or three + last times we met in London hung so heavily on your spirits, may + pass away. It is not for me to say to you, "Patience," my dear Mrs. + Jameson; you have suffered too much to have neglected that only + remedy of our afflictions, but I trust Heaven will make it an + efficacious one to you, and erelong send you less need of it. I am + glad you see my mother often, and very glad that to assist your + recollection of me you find interest and amusement in discussing + the fitting up of my room with her. Pray do not forget that the + drawing you made of the rooms in James Street is mine, and that + when you visit me in my new abode it will be pleasant to have that + remembrance before us of a place where we have spent some hours + very happily together. + + What you say of Mrs. N---- only echoes my own thoughts of her. She + is a splendid creature, nobly endowed every way; too nobly to + become through mere frivolity and foolish vanity the mark of the + malice and envy of such _things_ as she is surrounded by, and who + will all eagerly embrace the opportunity of slandering one so + immeasurably their superior in every respect. I do not know much of + her, but I feel deeply interested in her; not precisely with the + interest inspired by loving or even liking, but with that feeling + of admiring solicitude with which one must regard a person so + gifted, so tempted, and in such a position as hers. I am glad that + lovely sister of hers is married, though matrimony in that world is + not always the securest haven for a woman's virtue or happiness; it + is sometimes in that society the reverse of an "honorable estate." + + The poor king's death gave me a holiday on Monday, Tuesday, and + Wednesday, and we eagerly embraced the opportunity its respite + afforded us of visiting Loch Lomond and the entrance to Loch Long. + As almost my first thought when we reached the lake was, "How can + people attempt to describe such places?" I shall not terminate my + letter with "smooth expanses of sapphire-tinted waves," or "purple + screens of heath-clad hills rising one above another into the + cloudless sky." A volume might be written on the mere color of the + water, and give no idea of it, though you are the very person whose + imagination, aided by all that you've seen, would best realize such + a scene from description. It was heavenly, and we had such a + perfect day! I prefer, however, the glimpse we had of Loch Long to + what we saw of Loch Lomond. I brought away an appropriate nosegay + from my trip, a white rose from Dumbarton, in memory of Mary + Stuart, an oak branch from Loch Lomond, and a handful of heather, + for which I fought with the bees on the rocky shore of Loch Long. + + I like my Glasgow audience better than my Edinburgh one; they are + not so cold. I look for a pleasant audience in your country, for + which we set out to-morrow, I believe. My aunt desires to be + remembered to you, and so does my father, and bids me add, in + answer to your modest doubt, that you are a person to be always + remembered with pleasure and esteem. I am glad you did not like my + Bath miniature; indeed, it was not likely that you would. + + Believe me always yours affectionately, + F. A. K. + +During our summer tour my mother, who had remained in London, +superintended the preparation of a new house, to which we removed on our +return to town. My brother Henry's schooling at Westminster was over, +which had been the reason for our taking the house at Buckingham Gate, +and, though it had proved a satisfactory residence in many respects, we +were glad to exchange it for the one to which we now went, which had +many associations that made it agreeable to my father, having been my +uncle John's home for many years, and connected with him in the memory +of my parents. It was the corner house of Great Russell Street and +Montague Place, and, since we left it, has been included in the new +court-yard of the British Museum (which was next door to it) and become +the librarian's quarters, our friend Panizzi being its first occupant +afterward. It was a good, comfortable, substantial house, the two +pleasantest rooms of which, to me, were the small apartment on the +ground floor, lined with books from floor to ceiling, and my own +peculiar lodging in the upper regions, which, thanks to my mother's +kindness and taste, was as pretty a bower of elegant comfort as any +young spinster need have desired. There I chiefly spent my time, +pursuing my favorite occupations, or in the society of my own especial +friends: my dear H---- S----, when she was in London; Mrs. Jameson, who +often climbed thither for an hour's pleasant discussion of her book on +Shakespeare; and a lady with whom I now formed a very close intimacy, +which lasted till her death, my dear E---- F----. + +I had the misfortune to lose the water-color sketches which Mrs. Jameson +had made of our two drawing-rooms in James Street, Buckingham Gate. They +were very pretty and skillful specimens of a difficult kind of subject, +and valuable as her work, no less than as tokens of her regard for me. +The beautiful G---- S----, to whose marriage I have referred, had she +not been a sister of her sisters, would have been considered a wit; and, +in spite of this, was the greatest beauty of her day. She always +reminded me of what an American once said in speaking of a countrywoman +of his, that she was so lovely that when she came into the room she took +his breath away. While I was in Bath I was asked by a young artist to +sit for my miniature. His portrait had considerable merit as a piece of +delicate, highly finished workmanship; it was taken in the part of +Portia, and engraved; but I think no one, without the label underneath, +would have imagined in it even the intention of my portrait. Whether or +not the cause lay in my own dissimilar expressions and dissimilar +aspects at different times, I do not know; but if a collection was made +of the likenesses that have been taken of me, to the number of nearly +thirty, nobody would ever imagine that they were intended to represent +the same person. Certainly, my Bath miniature produced a version of my +face perfectly unfamiliar to myself and most of my friends who saw it. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + + DUBLIN, ----. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I received your third kind letter yesterday morning, and have no + more time to-day than will serve to inclose my answer to your + second, which reached me and was replied to at Glasgow; owing to + your not having given me your address, I had kept it thus long in + my desk. You surely said nothing in that letter of yours that the + kindest good feeling could take exception to, and therefore need + hardly, I think, have been so anxious about its possible + miscarriage. However, "Misery makes one acquainted with strange + bed-fellows," and I am afraid distrust is one of them. You will be + glad, I know, to hear that I have been successful here, and perhaps + amused to know that when your letter reached me yesterday, I was + going, _en lionne_, to a great dinner-party at Lady Morgan's. You + ask me for advice about your Shakespeare work, but advice is what I + have no diploma for bestowing; and such suggestions as I might + venture, were I sitting by your side with Shakespeare in my hand, + and which might furnish pleasant matter of converse and discussion, + are hardly solid enough for transmission by post. + + I have been reading the "Tempest" all this afternoon, with eyes + constantly dim with those delightful tears which are called up + alike by the sublimity and harmony of nature, and the noblest + creations of genius. I cannot imagine how you should ever feel + discouraged in your work; it seems to me it must be its own + perpetual stimulus and reward. Is not Miranda's exclamation, "O + brave new world, that has such people in it!" on the first sight of + the company of villainous men who ruined her and her father, with + the royal old magician's comment, "'Tis new to thee!" exquisitely + pathetic? I must go to my work; 'tis "The Gamester" to-night; I + wish it were over. Good-by, my dear Mrs. Jameson. Thank you for + your kind letters; I value them very much, and am your affectionate + + F. KEMBLE. + + P.S.--I am very happy here, in the society of an admirable person + who is as good as she is highly gifted,--a rare union,--and who, + moreover, loves me well, which adds much, in my opinion, to her + other merits. I mean my friend Miss S----. + +My only reminiscence connected with this dinner at Lady Morgan's is of +her kind and comical zeal to show me an Irish jig, performed _secundum +artem_, when she found that I had never seen her national dance. She +jumped up, declaring nobody danced it as well as herself, and that I +should see it immediately; and began running through the rooms, with a +gauze scarf that had fallen from her shoulders fluttering and trailing +after her, calling loudly for a certain young member of the viceregal +staff, who was among the guests invited to a large evening party after +the dinner, to be her partner. But the gentleman had already departed +(for it was late), and I might have gone to my grave unenlightened upon +the subject of jigs if I had not seen one performed, to great +perfection, by some gay young members of a family party, while I was +staying at Worsley with my friends Lord and Lady Ellesmere, whose +children and guests got up an impromptu ball on the occasion of Lady +Octavia Grosvenor's birthday, in the course of which the Irish national +dance was performed with great spirit, especially by Lord Mark Kerr and +Lady Blanche Egerton. It resembles a good deal the saltarello of the +Italian peasants in rhythm and character; and a young Irishman, servant +of some friends of mine, covered himself with glory by the manner in +which he joined a party of Neapolitan tarantella dancers, merely by dint +of his proficiency in his own native jig. A great many years after my +first acquaintance with Lady Morgan in Dublin, she renewed our +intercourse by calling on me in London, where she was spending the +season, and where I was then living with my father, who had become +almost entirely deaf and was suffering from a most painful complication +of maladies. My relations with the lively and amusing Irish authoress +consisted merely in an exchange of morning visits, during one of which, +after talking to me with voluble enthusiasm of Cardinal Gonsalvi and +Lord Byron, whose portraits hung in her room, and who, she assured me, +were her two pre-eminent heroes, she plied me with a breathless series +of pressing invitations to breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, evening +parties, to meet everybody in London that I did and did not know, and +upon my declining all these offers of hospitable entertainment (for I +had at that time withdrawn myself entirely from society, and went +nowhere), she exclaimed, "But what in the world do you _do_ with +yourself in the evening?" "Sit with my father, or remain alone," said I. +"Ah!" cried the society-loving little lady, with an exasperated Irish +accent, "come out of that _sphare_ of solitary self-sufficiency _ye_ +live in, do! Come to me!" Which objurgation certainly presented in a +most ludicrous light my life of very sad seclusion, and sent us both +into fits of laughter. + +I have alluded to a friendship which I formed soon after my appearance +on the stage with Miss E---- F----. She was the daughter of Mr. F----, +for many years member for Tiverton. Miss F---- and I perpetuated a close +attachment already traditional between our families, her mother having +been Mrs. Siddons's dearest friend. Indeed, for many years of her life, +Mrs. F---- seems to me to have postponed the claims even of her husband +and children upon her time and attention, to her absolute devotion to +her celebrated idol. Mr. F---- was a dutiful member of the House of +Commons, and I suppose his boy was at school and his girl too young to +demand her mother's constant care and superintendence, at the time when +she literally gave up the whole of her existence to Mrs. Siddons during +the London season, passing her days in her society and her evenings in +her dressing-room at the theater, whenever Mrs. Siddons acted. Miss +F---- and myself could not dedicate ourselves with any such absolute +exclusiveness to each other. Neither of our mothers would have consented +to any such absorbing arrangement, for which a certain independence of +family ties would have been indispensable; but within the limits which +our circumstances allowed we were as devoted to each other as my aunt +Siddons and Mrs. F---- had been, and our intercourse was as full and +frequent as possible. E---- F---- was not pretty, but her face was +expressive of both intelligence and sensibility; her figure wanted +height, but was slender and graceful; her head was too small for +powerful though not far keen and sagacious intellect, or for beauty. The +general impression she produced was that of well-born and well-bred +refinement, and she was as eager, light, and rapid in her movements as a +greyhound, of which elegant animal the whole character of her appearance +constantly reminded me. + +Mr. F---- had a summer residence close to the picturesque town of +Southampton, called Bannisters, the name of which charming place calls +up the image of my friend swinging in her hammock under the fine trees +of her lawn, or dexterously managing her boat on its tiny lake, and +brings back delightful hours and days spent in happy intercourse with +her. Mr. F---- had himself planned the house, which was as peculiar as +it was comfortable and elegant. A small vestibule, full of fine casts +from the antique (among others a rare original one of the glorious +Neapolitan Psyche, given to his brother-in-law, Mr. William Hamilton, by +the King of Naples), formed the entrance. The oval drawing-room, painted +in fresco by Mr. F----, recalled by its Italian scenes their wanderings +in the south of Europe. In the adjoining room were some choice pictures, +among others a fine copy of one of Titian's Venuses, and in the +dining-room an equally good one of his Venus and Adonis. The place of +honor, however, in this room was reserved for a life-size, full-length +portrait of Mrs. Siddons, which Lawrence painted for Mrs. F---- and +which is now in the National Gallery,--a production so little to my +taste both as picture and portrait that I used to wonder how Mrs. +F---- could tolerate such a representation of her admirable friend. The +principal charm of Bannisters, however, was the garden and grounds, +which, though of inconsiderable extent, were so skillfully and +tastefully laid out, that their bounds were always invisible. The lawn +and shrubberies were picturesquely irregular, and still retained some +kindred, in their fine oaks and patches of heather, to the beautiful +wild common which lay immediately beyond their precincts. A pretty piece +of ornamental water was set in flowering bushes and well-contrived +rockery, and in a more remote part of the grounds a little dark pond +reflected wild-wood banks and fine overspreading elms and beeches. The +small park had some charming clumps and single trees, and there was a +twilight walk of gigantic overarching laurels, of a growth that dated +back to a time of considerable antiquity, when the place had been part +of an ancient monastery. Above all, I delighted in my friend E----'s +favorite flower-garden, where her fine eye for color reveled in grouping +the softest, gayest, and richest masses of bloom, and where in a bay of +mossy turf, screened round with evergreens, the ancient vision of love +and immortality, the antique Cupid and Psyche, watched over the +fragrant, flowery domain. + +Sweet Bannisters! to me for ever a refuge of consolation and sympathy in +seasons of trial and sorrow, of unfailing kindly welcome and devoted +constant affection; haven of pleasant rest and calm repose whenever I +resorted to it! How sad was my last visit to that once lovely and +beloved place, now passed into the hands of strangers, deserted, +divided, desecrated, where it was painful even to call up the image of +her whose home it once was! The last time I saw Bannisters the grounds +were parceled out and let for grazing inclosures to various Southampton +townspeople. The house was turned into a boys' boarding-school, and, as +I hurried away, the shouts and acclamations of a roaring game of cricket +came to me from the inclosure that had been E---- F----'s flower-garden; +but though I was crying bitter tears the lads seemed very happy; the +fashion of this world passeth away. + +Before leaving Dublin for Liverpool, I had the pleasure of visiting my +friend Miss S---- in her home, where I returned several times, and was +always welcomed with cordial kindness. My last visit there took place +during the Crimean war. My friend Mrs. T---- had become a widow, and her +second son, now General T----, was with his regiment in the very front +of the danger, and also surrounded by the first deadly outbreak of the +cholera, which swooped with such fatal fury upon our troops at the +opening of the campaign. I can never forget the pathetic earnestness and +solemnity of the prayers read aloud by that poor mother for the safety +of our army, nor the accent with which she implored God's protection +upon those exposed to such imminent peril in the noble discharge of +their duty. That son was preserved to that mother, having manfully done +his part in the face of the twofold death that threatened him. + +There was a slight circumstance attending Mrs. T----'s household +devotions that charmed me greatly, and that I have never seen repeated +anywhere else where I have assisted at family prayers. The servants, as +they left the hall, bowed and courtesied to their mistress, who returned +their salutation with a fine, old-fashioned courtesy, full of a sweet, +kindly grace, that was delightful. This act of civility to her +dependents was to me a perfect expression of Mrs. T----'s real antique +toryism, as well as of her warm-hearted, motherly kindness of nature. + +Ardgillan Castle (I think by courtesy, for it was eminently, peaceful in +character, in spite of the turret inhabited by my dear "moping owl," +H----) was finely situated on an eminence from which the sea, with the +picturesque fishing village of Skerries stretching into it on one side, +and the Morne Mountains fading in purple distance beyond its blue waters +on the other, formed a beautiful prospect. A pine wood on one side of +the grounds led down to the foot of the grassy hill upon which the house +stood, and to a charming wilderness called the Dell: a sylvan recess +behind the rocky margin of the sea, from which it was completely +sheltered, whose hollow depth, carpeted with grass and curtained with +various growth of trees, was the especial domain of my dear H----. A +crystal spring of water rose in this "bosky dell," and answered with its +tiny tinkle the muffled voice of the ocean breaking on the shore beyond. +The place was perfectly lovely, and here we sat together and devised, as +the old word was, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things +above heaven, and things below earth, and things quite beyond ourselves, +till we were well-nigh beside ourselves; and it was not the fault of my +metaphysical friend, but of my utter inability to keep pace with her +mental processes, if our argument did not include every point of that +which Milton has assigned to the forlorn disputants of his infernal +regions. My departure from Dublin ended these happy hours of +companionship, and I exchanged that academe and my beloved Plato in +petticoats for my play-house work at Liverpool. The following letter was +in answer to one Mrs. Jameson wrote me upon the subject of a lady whom +she had recommended to my mother as a governess for my sister, who was +now in her sixteenth year. + + LIVERPOOL, August 16, 1830. + MY DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + Were it not that I have a great opinion both of your kindness and + reasonableness, I should feel rather uncomfortable at the period + which has elapsed since I ought to have written to you; but I am + very sorry not to have been able sooner to reply to your last kind + letter. I shall begin by answering that which interested me most in + it, which you will easily believe was what regarded my dear A---- + and the person into whose hands she is about to be committed. In + proportion to the value of the gem is the dread one feels of the + flaws and injuries it may receive in the process of cutting and + polishing; and this, of course, not in this case alone, but that of + every child who still is parent to the man (or woman). My mother + said in one of her letters, "I have engaged a lady to be A----'s + governess." Of course the _have_ must make the expression of regret + or anxiety undesirable, since both are unavailing. I hope it is the + lady you spoke of in your letter to me, for I like very much the + description you give of her, and in answer to the doubt you express + as to whether _I_ could be pleased with a person wanting in + superficial brilliancy and refinement of intellect, I can reply + unequivocally _yes_. I could be well pleased with such a person for + my own companion, if the absence of such qualities were atoned for + by sound judgment and sterling principle; and I am certain that + such a person is best calculated to undertake the task which she is + to perform in our house with good effect. The defect of our home + education is that from the mental tendencies of all of us, no less + than from our whole mode of life, the more imaginative and refined + intellectual qualities are fostered in us in preference to our + reasoning powers. We have all excitable natures, and, whether in + head or heart, that is a disadvantage. The unrestrained indulgence + of feeling is as injurious to moral strength as the undue excess of + fancy is to mental vigor. I think young people would always be the + better for the influence of persons of strong sense, rather than + strong sensibility, who, by fortifying their reason, correct any + tendency to that morbid excitability which is so dangerous to + happiness or usefulness. + + I do not, of course, mean that one can eradicate any element of the + original character--that I believe to be impossible; nor is direct + opposition to natural tendencies of much use, for that is really + cultivating qualities by resistance; but by encouraging other + faculties, and by putting aside all that has a tendency to weaken + and enervate, the mind will assume a robust and healthy tone, and + the real feelings will acquire strength by being under reasonable + control and by the suppression of factitious ones. A----'s + education in point of accomplishments and general cultivation of + taste and intellect is already fairly advanced; and the lady who + is, I hope, now to be her companion and directress will be none the + worse for wanting the merely ornamental branches of culture, + provided she holds them at their due value, and neither _under_ nor + _over_ estimates them because she is without them. I hope she is + gentle and attractive in her manners, for it is essential that one + should like as well as respect one's teachers; and should these + qualities be added to the character you give of her, I am sure I + should like her for a governess very much myself. You see by the + room this subject has occupied in my letter how much it fills in my + mind; human souls, minds, and bodies are precious and wonderful + things, and to fit the whole creature for its proper aim here and + hereafter, a solemn and arduous work. + + Now to other matters. You reproach me very justly for my stupid + oversight; I forgot to tell you which name appeared to me best for + your book; the fact is, I flew off into ecstasies about the work + itself, and gave you, I believe, a tirade about the "Tempest" + instead of the opinion you asked. I agree with you that there is + much in the name of a work; it is almost as desirable that a book + should be well called as that it should be well written; a + promising title-page is like an agreeable face, an inducement to + further acquaintance, and an earnest of future pleasure. For + myself, I prefer "Characters of Shakespeare's Women;" it is + shorter, and I think will look better than the other in print. + + I have been spending a few happy days, previous to my departure + from Ireland, in a charming place and in the companionship of a + person I love dearly. All my powers of enjoyment have been + constantly occupied, and I have had a breathing-time of rest and + real pleasure before I recommence my work. Such seasons are like + angel's visits, but I suppose one ought to rejoice that they are + allowed us at all, rather than complain of their brevity and + infrequency. I am getting weary of wandering, and long to be once + more settled at home. + + What say you to this French revolution? Have not they made good use + of their time, that in so few years from their last bloody national + convulsion men's minds should so have advanced and expanded in + France as to enable the people to overturn the government and + change the whole course of public affairs with such comparative + moderation and small loss of, life? I was still in Dublin when the + news of the recent events in France reached us, and I never + witnessed anything so like tipsiness as Lady Morgan's delight at + it. I believe she wished herself a Frenchwoman with all her heart, + and she declared she would go over as soon as her next work, which + is in the hands of the publisher, was out. Were I a man, I should + have been well pleased to have been in France some weeks ago; the + rising of the nation against oppression and abuse, and the creating + of a new and better state of things without any outbreak of popular + excess, must have been a fine thing to see. But as a woman, + incapable of mixing personally in such scenes, I would rather have + the report of them at a distance than witness them as a mere + inactive spectator; for though the loss of life has been + comparatively small, considering the great end that has been + achieved, it must be horrible to see bloodshed, even that of a + single individual. I believe I am a great coward. I shall not close + this to-night, but wait till to-morrow, to tell you how my first + appearance here goes off. + + TUESDAY, August 17th. + + We had a very fine house indeed last night, and everything went off + remarkably well. I had every reason to be satisfied with the + audience, who, though proverbially a cold one, were exceedingly + enthusiastic in their applause, which, I suppose, is the best + indication that they were satisfied with me. Good-by, my dear Mrs. + Jameson; believe me yours ever truly, + + F. A. K. + +The intention of engaging a governess for my sister was not carried out, +and she was taken to Paris and placed under the charge of Mrs. Foster, +wife of the chaplain of the British embassy, under whose care she +pursued her general education, while with the tuition of the celebrated +Bordogni, the first singing-master of the day, she cultivated her fine +voice and developed her musical genius. + +The French Revolution of 1830, which placed Louis Philippe of Orleans on +the throne, and sent Charles X. to end his days in an obscure corner of +Germany, was the first of four revolutions which I have lived to +witness; and since then I have often thought of a lady who, during the +next political catastrophe, by which Louis Philippe was shaken out of +his seat, showing Mrs. Grote the conveniences of a charming apartment in +a central part of Paris, said, "Voici mon salon, voici ma salle à +manger, et voyez comme c'est commode! De cette fenêtre je vois mes +révolutions." The younger Bourbon of the Orleans branch had learned part +of the lesson of government (of which even the most intelligent of that +race seem destined never to learn the whole) in democratic America and +democratic Switzerland. Perhaps it was in these two essentially +_bourgeois_ countries that he learned the only virtues that +distinguished him as the _Roi Bourgeois, par excellence_. + + HEATON PARK, September 18, 1830. + MY DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + Were it not that I should be ashamed to look you in the face when + we meet, which I hope will now be soon, I should be much tempted to + defer thanking you for your last kind letter until that period, for + I am at this moment in the bustle of three departures. My mother + arrived in Manchester this morning, whence my aunt Dall starts + to-night for Buckinghamshire, and my father to-morrow morning at + seven o'clock for London, and at eight my mother and myself start + for Liverpool. I am most anxious to be there for the opening of the + railroad, which takes place on Wednesday. I act in Manchester on + Friday, and after that we shall spend some days with Lord and Lady + W----, at their seat near there; and then I return to London to + begin my winter campaign, when I hope to see you less oppressed + with anxiety and vexation than you were when we parted there. And + now, what shall I say to you? My life for the last three weeks has + been so hurried and busy that, while I have matter for many long + letters, I have hardly time for condensation; you know what Madame + de Sévigné says, "Si j'avais eu plus de temps, je t'aurais écrit + moins longuement." I have been sight-seeing and acting for the last + month, and the first occupation is really the more exhausting of + the two. I will give you a _carte_, and when we meet you shall call + upon me for a detail of any or all of its contents. + + I have seen the fine, picturesque old town of Chester; I have seen + Liverpool, its docks, its cemetery, its railway, on which I was + flown away with by a steam-engine, at the rate of five and thirty + miles an hour; I have seen Manchester, power-looms, + spinning-jennies, cotton factories, etc.; I have stayed at the + pleasant modern mansion of Heaton; I have visited Hopwood Hall, + built in the reign of Edward the First, and still retaining its + carved old oaken chimneys and paneled chambers and latticed + windows, and intricate ups and downs of internal architecture, to + present use apparently as purposeless and inconvenient as if one + was living in a cat's-cradle. I have seen a rush-bearing with its + classical morris dance, executed in honor of some antique + observance by the country folk of Lancashire, with whom this + commemoration, but no knowledge of its original significance, + remains. I have seen Birmingham, its button-making, pin-making, + plating, stamping, etc.; I have seen Aston Hall, an old house two + miles from the town, and two hundred from everything in it, where + Charles the First slept after the battle of Edge Hill, and whose + fine old staircase still retains the marks of Cromwell's + cannon,--which house, moreover, possesses an oaken gallery one + hundred and odd feet long, hung with old portraits, one of the most + delightful apartments imaginable. How I did sin in envy, and long + for that nice room to walk up and down and dream and poetize in; + but as I know of no earthly way of compassing this desirable + acquisition but offering myself in exchange for it to its present + possessor (who might not think well of the bargain), _il n'y faut + plus penser_. Moreover, as the grapes are sour, I conclude that + upon the whole it might not be an advantageous one for me. I am at + this moment writing in a drawing-room full of people, at Heaton + (Lord W----'s place), taking up my pen to talk to you and laying it + down to talk to others. I must now, however, close my double and + divided conversation, because I have not brains enough to play at + two games at once. I am ever yours, very sincerely, + + F. A. K. + +While we were acting at Liverpool an experimental trip was proposed upon +the line of railway which was being constructed between Liverpool and +Manchester, the first mesh of that amazing iron net which now covers the +whole surface of England and all the civilized portions of the earth. +The Liverpool merchants, whose far-sighted self-interest prompted them +to wise liberality, had accepted the risk of George Stephenson's +magnificent experiment, which the committee of inquiry of the House of +Commons had rejected for the government. These men, of less intellectual +culture than the Parliament members, had the adventurous imagination +proper to great speculators, which is the poetry of the counting-house +and wharf, and were better able to receive the enthusiastic infection of +the great projector's sanguine hope that the Westminster committee. They +were exultant and triumphant at the near completion of the work, though, +of course, not without some misgivings as to the eventual success of the +stupendous enterprise. My father knew several of the gentlemen most +deeply interested in the undertaking, and Stephenson having proposed a +trial trip as far as the fifteen-mile viaduct, they, with infinite +kindness, invited him and permitted me to accompany them; allowing me, +moreover, the place which I felt to be one of supreme honor, by the side +of Stephenson. All that wonderful history, as much more interesting than +a romance as truth is stranger than fiction, which Mr. Smiles's +biography of the projector has given in so attractive a form to the +world, I then heard from his own lips. He was a rather stern-featured +man, with a dark and deeply marked countenance; his speech was strongly +inflected with his native Northumbrian accent, but the fascination of +that story told by himself, while his tame dragon flew panting along his +iron pathway with us, passed the first reading of the "Arabian Nights," +the incidents of which it almost seemed to recall. He was wonderfully +condescending and kind in answering all the questions of my eager +ignorance, and I listened to him with eyes brimful of warm tears of +sympathy and enthusiasm, as he told me of all his alternations of hope +and fear, of his many trials and disappointments, related with fine +scorn how the "Parliament men" had badgered and baffled him with their +book-knowledge, and how, when at last they thought they had smothered +the irrepressible prophecy of his genius in the quaking depths of +Chatmoss, he had exclaimed, "Did ye ever see a boat float on water? I +will make my road float upon Chatmoss!" The well-read Parliament men +(some of whom, perhaps, wished for no railways near their parks and +pleasure-grounds) could not believe the miracle, but the shrewd +Liverpool merchants, helped to their faith by a great vision of immense +gain, did; and so the railroad was made, and I took this memorable ride +by the side of its maker, and would not have exchanged the honor and +pleasure of it for one of the shares in the speculation. + + LIVERPOOL, August 26th. + MY DEAR H----, + + A common sheet of paper is enough for love, but a foolscap extra + can alone contain a railroad and my ecstasies. There was once a + man, who was born at Newcastle-upon-Tyne, who was a common + coal-digger; this man had an immense constructiveness, which + displayed itself in pulling his watch to pieces and putting it + together again; in making a pair of shoes when he happened to be + some days without occupation; finally--here there is a great gap in + my story--it brought him in the capacity of an engineer before a + committee of the House of Commons, with his head full of plans for + constructing a railroad from Liverpool to Manchester. It so + happened that to the quickest and most powerful perceptions and + conceptions, to the most indefatigable industry and perseverance, + and the most accurate knowledge of the phenomena of nature as they + affect his peculiar labors, this man joined an utter want of the + "gift of the gab;" he could no more explain to others what he meant + to do and how he meant to do it, than he could fly; and therefore + the members of the House of Commons, after saying, "There is rock + to be excavated to a depth of more than sixty feet, there are + embankments to be made nearly to the same height, there is a swamp + of five miles in length to be traversed, in which if you drop an + iron rod it sinks and disappears: how will you do all this?" and + receiving no answer but a broad Northumbrian "I can't tell you how + I'll do it, but I can tell you I _will_ do it," dismissed + Stephenson as a visionary. Having prevailed upon a company of + Liverpool gentlemen to be less incredulous, and having raised funds + for his great undertaking, in December of 1826 the first spade was + struck into the ground. And now I will give you an account of my + yesterday's excursion. A party of sixteen persons was ushered, into + a large court-yard, where, under cover, stood several carriages of + a peculiar construction, one of which was prepared for our + reception. It was a long-bodied vehicle with seats placed across + it, back to back; the one we were in had six of these benches, and + was a sort of uncovered _char à banc_. The wheels were placed upon + two iron bands, which formed the road, and to which they are + fitted, being so constructed as to slide along without any danger + of hitching or becoming displaced, on the same principle as a thing + sliding on a concave groove. The carriage was set in motion by a + mere push, and, having received, this impetus, rolled with us down + an inclined plane into a tunnel, which forms the entrance to the + railroad. This tunnel is four hundred yards long (I believe), and + will be lighted by gas. At the end of it we emerged from darkness, + and, the ground becoming level, we stopped. There is another tunnel + parallel with this, only much wider and longer, for it extends from + the place which we had now reached, and where the steam-carriages + start, and which is quite out of Liverpool, the whole way under the + town, to the docks. This tunnel is for wagons and other heavy + carriages; and as the engines which are to draw the trains along + the railroad do not enter these tunnels, there is a large building + at this entrance which is to be inhabited by steam-engines of a + stationary turn of mind, and different constitution from the + traveling ones, which are to propel the trains through the tunnels + to the terminus in the town, without going out of their houses + themselves. The length of the tunnel parallel to the one we passed + through is (I believe) two thousand two hundred yards. I wonder if + you are understanding one word I am saying all this while! We were + introduced to the little engine which was to drag us along the + rails. She (for they make these curious little fire-horses all + mares) consisted of a boiler, a stove, a small platform, a bench, + and behind the bench a barrel containing enough water to prevent + her being thirsty for fifteen miles,--the whole machine not bigger + than a common fire-engine. She goes upon two wheels, which are her + feet, and are moved by bright steel legs called pistons; these are + propelled by steam, and in proportion as more steam is applied to + the upper extremities (the hip-joints, I suppose) of these pistons, + the faster they move the wheels; and when it is desirable to + diminish the speed, the steam, which unless suffered to escape + would burst the boiler, evaporates through a safety-valve into the + air. The reins, bit, and bridle of this wonderful beast is a small + steel handle, which applies or withdraws the steam from its legs or + pistons, so that a child might manage it. The coals, which are its + oats, were under the bench, and there was a small glass tube + affixed to the boiler, with water in it, which indicates by its + fullness or emptiness when the creature wants water, which is + immediately conveyed to it from its reservoirs. There is a chimney + to the stove, but as they burn coke there is none of the dreadful + black smoke which accompanies the progress of a steam vessel. This + snorting little animal, which I felt rather inclined to pat, was + then harnessed to our carriage, and, Mr. Stephenson having taken me + on the bench of the engine with him, we started at about ten miles + an hour. The steam-horse being ill adapted for going up and down + hill, the road was kept at a certain level, and appeared sometimes + to sink below the surface of the earth, and sometimes to rise above + it. Almost at starting it was cut through the solid rock, which + formed a wall on either side of it, about sixty feet high. You + can't imagine how strange it seemed to be journeying on thus, + without any visible cause of progress other than the magical + machine, with its flying white breath and rhythmical, unvarying + pace, between these rocky walls, which are already clothed with + moss and ferns and grasses; and when I reflected that these great + masses of stone had been cut asunder to allow our passage thus far + below the surface of the earth, I felt as if no fairy tale was ever + half so wonderful as what I saw. Bridges were thrown from side to + side across the top of these cliffs, and the people looking down + upon us from them seemed like pigmies standing in the sky. I must + be more concise, though, or I shall want room. We were to go only + fifteen miles, that distance being sufficient to show the speed of + the engine, and to take us on to the most beautiful and wonderful + object on the road. After proceeding through this rocky defile, we + presently found ourselves raised upon embankments ten or twelve + feet high; we then came to a moss, or swamp, of considerable + extent, on which no human foot could tread without sinking, and yet + it bore the road which bore us. This had been the great + stumbling-block in the minds of the committee of the House of + Commons; but Mr. Stephenson has succeeded in overcoming it. A + foundation of hurdles, or, as he called it, basket-work, was thrown + over the morass, and the interstices were filled with moss and + other elastic matter. Upon this the clay and soil were laid down, + and the road does float, for we passed over it at the rate of five + and twenty miles an hour, and saw the stagnant swamp water + trembling on the surface of the soil on either side of us. I hope + you understand me. The embankment had gradually been rising higher + and higher, and in one place, where the soil was not settled enough + to form banks, Stephenson had constructed artificial ones of + wood-work, over which the mounds of earth were heaped, for he said + that though the wood-work would rot, before it did so the banks of + earth which covered it would have been sufficiently consolidated to + support the road. + + We had now come fifteen miles, and stopped where the road traversed + a wide and deep valley. Stephenson made me alight and led me down + to the bottom of this ravine, over which, in order to keep his road + level, he has thrown a magnificent viaduct of nine arches, the + middle one of which is seventy feet high, through which we saw the + whole of this beautiful little valley. It was lovely and wonderful + beyond all words. He here told me many curious things respecting + this ravine: how he believed the Mersey had once rolled through it; + how the soil had proved so unfavorable for the foundation of his + bridge that it was built upon piles, which had been driven into the + earth to an enormous depth; how, while digging for a foundation, he + had come to a tree bedded in the earth fourteen feet below the + surface of the ground; how tides are caused, and how another flood + might be caused; all of which I have remembered and noted down at + much greater length than I can enter upon it here. He explained to + me the whole construction of the steam-engine, and said he could + soon make a famous engineer of me, which, considering the wonderful + things he has achieved, I dare not say is impossible. His way of + explaining himself is peculiar, but very striking, and I + understood, without difficulty, all that he said to me. We then + rejoined the rest of the party, and the engine having received its + supply of water, the carriage was placed behind it, for it cannot + turn, and was set off at its utmost speed, thirty-five miles an + hour, swifter than a bird flies (for they tried the experiment with + a snipe). You cannot conceive what that sensation of cutting the + air was; the motion is as smooth as possible, too. I could either + have read or written; and as it was, I stood up, and with my bonnet + off "drank the air before me." The wind, which was strong, or + perhaps the force of our own thrusting against it, absolutely + weighed my eyelids down. [I remember a similar experience to this, + the first time I attempted to go behind the sheet of the cataract + of Niagara; the wind coming from beneath the waterfall met me with + such direct force that it literally bore down my eyelids, and I had + to put off the attempt of penetrating behind the curtain of foam + till another day, when that peculiar accident; was less directly + hostile to me in its conditions.] When I closed my eyes this + sensation of flying was quite delightful, and strange beyond + description; yet, strange as it was, I had a perfect sense of + security, and not the slightest fear. At one time, to exhibit the + power of the engine, having met another steam-carriage which was + unsupplied with water, Mr. Stephenson caused it to be fastened in + front of ours; moreover, a wagon laden with timber was also chained + to us, and thus propelling the idle steam-engine, and dragging the + loaded wagon which was beside it, and our own carriage full of + people behind, this brave little she-dragon of ours flew on. + Farther on she met three carts, which, being fastened in front of + her, she pushed on before her without the slightest delay or + difficulty; when I add that this pretty little creature can run + with equal facility either backward or forward, I believe I have + given you an account of all her capacities. + + Now for a word or two about the master of all these marvels, with + whom I am most horribly in love. He is a man of from fifty to + fifty-five years of age; his face is fine, though careworn, and + bears an expression of deep thoughtfulness; his mode of explaining + his ideas is peculiar and very original, striking, and forcible; + and although his accent indicates strongly his north-country birth, + his language has not the slightest touch of vulgarity or + coarseness. He has certainly turned my head. + + Four years have sufficed to bring this great undertaking to an end. + The railroad will be opened upon the 15th of next month. The Duke + of Wellington is coming down to be present on the occasion, and, I + suppose, what with the thousands of spectators and the novelty of + the spectacle, there will never have been a scene of more striking + interest. The whole cost of the work (including the engines and + carriages) will have been eight hundred and thirty thousand pounds; + and it is already worth double that sum. The directors have kindly + offered us three places for the opening, which is a great favor, + for people are bidding almost anything for a place, I understand; + but I fear we shall be obliged to decline them, as my father is + most anxious to take Henry over to Heidelberg before our season of + work in London begins, which will take place on the first of + October. I think there is every probability of our having a very + prosperous season. London will be particularly gay this winter, and + the king and queen, it is said, are fond of dramatic + entertainments, so that I hope we shall get on well. You will be + glad to hear that our houses here have been very fine, and that + to-night, Friday, which was my benefit, the theater was crowded in + every corner. We do not play here any more, but on Monday we open + at Manchester. You will, I know, be happy to hear that, by way of + answer to the letter I told you I had written my mother, I received + a very delightful one from my dear little sister, the first I have + had from her since I left London. She is a little jewel, and it + will be a sin if she is marred in the cutting and polishing, or if + she is set in tawdry French pinchbeck, instead of fine, strong, + sterling gold. I am sorry to say that the lady Mrs. Jameson + recommended as her governess has not been thought sufficiently + accomplished to undertake the charge. I regret this the more, as in + a letter I have just received from Mrs. Jameson she speaks with + more detail of this lady's qualifications, which seem to me + peculiarly adapted to have a good effect upon such a mind and + character as A----'s. + + I wish I had been with your girls at their ball, and come back from + it and found you holding communion with the skies. My dearest + H----, sublime and sweet and holy as are the feelings with which I + look up to the star-paved heavens, or to the glorious summer sun, + or listen to the music of the great waves, I do not for an instant + mistake the adoration of the almighty power manifested in these + works of God, for religion. You tell me to beware of mixing up + emotional or imaginative excitement with my devotion. And I think I + can truly answer that I do not do so. I told you that the cathedral + service was not prayer to me; nor do I ever confound a mere + emotional or imaginative enthusiasm, even when excited by the + highest of all objects of contemplation, with the daily and hourly + endeavor after righteousness--the humble trust, resignation, + obedience, and thankfulness, which I believe constitute the vital + part of religious faith. I humbly hope I keep the sacred ground of + my religion clear from whatever does not belong to the spirit of + its practice. As long as I can remember, I have endeavored to guard + against mistaking emotion for religion, and have even sometimes + been apprehensive lest the admiration I felt for certain passages + in the Psalms and the Hebrew prophets should make me forget the + more solemn and sacred purposes of the book of life, and the glad + tidings of our salvation. And though, when I look up as you did at + the worlds with which our midnight sky is studded, I feel inclined + to break out, "The heavens declare the glory of God," or, when I + stand upon the shore, can hardly refrain from crying aloud, "The + sea is His, and He made it," I do not in these moments of sublime + emotion forget that He is the God to whom all hearts be open; who, + from the moment I rise until I lie down to rest, witnesses my every + thought and feeling; to whom I look for support against the evil of + my own nature and the temptations which He allots me, who bestows + every blessing and inspires every good impulse, who will strengthen + me for every duty and trial: my Father, in whom I live and move and + have my being. I do not fear that my imagination will become + over-excited with thoughts such as these, but I often regret most + bitterly that my heart is not more deeply touched by them. Your + definition of the love of God seemed almost like a reproach to my + conscience. How miserably our practice halts behind our knowledge + of good, even when tried at the bar of our own lenient judgment, + and by our imperfect standard of right! how poorly does our life + answer to our profession! I should speak in the singular, for I am + only uttering my own self-condemnation. But as the excellence we + adore surpasses our comprehension, so does the mercy, and in that + lies our only trust and confidence. + + I fear Miss W---- either has not received my letter or does not + mean to answer it, for I have received no reply, and I dare not try + again. Up to a certain point I am impudent enough, but not beyond + that. Why do you threaten me with dancing to me? Have I lately + given you cause to think I deserve to have such a punishment hung + _in terrorem_ over me? Besides, threatening me is injudicious, for + it rouses a spirit of resistance in me not easy to break down. I + assure you _o_ [in allusion to my mispronunciation of that vowel] + is really greatly improved. I take much pains with it, as also with + my deportment; they will, I hope, no longer annoy you when next we + meet. You must not call Mrs. J---- my friend, for I do not. I like + her much, and I see a great deal to esteem and admire in her, but I + do not _yet_ call her my friend. You are my friend, and Mrs. Harry + Siddons is my friend, and you are the only persons I call by that + name. I have read "Paul Clifford," according to your desire, and + like it very much; it is written with a good purpose, and very + powerfully. You asked me if I believed such selfishness as + Brandon's to be natural, and I said yes, not having read the book, + but merely from your report of him; and, having read the book, I + say so still. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + + DUBLIN, August, 1830. + MY DEAR H----, + + I should have answered your letter sooner had I before been able to + give you any certain intelligence of our theatrical proceedings + next week, but I was so afraid of some change taking place in the + list of the plays that I resolved not to write until alteration was + impossible. The plays for next week are, on Monday, "Venice + Preserved;" on Wednesday, "The Grecian Daughter;" Thursday, "The + Merchant of Venice." I wish your people may be able to come up, the + latter end of the week; I think "Romeo and Juliet," and "The + Merchant of Venice," are nice plays for them to see. But you have, + I know, an invitation from Mrs. J---- to come into town on Monday. + I do not know whether my wishes have at all influenced her in this, + but she has my very best thanks for it, and I know that they will + have some weight with you in inclining you to accept it; do, my + dearest H----, come if you can. I shall certainly not be able to + return to Ardgillan, and so my only chance of seeing you depends + upon your coming into Dublin. I wish I had been with you when you + sat in the sun and listened to the wind singing over the sea. I + have a great admiration for the wind, not so much for its purifying + influences only, as for its invisible power, strength, the quality + above all others without which there is neither moral nor mental + greatness possible. Natural objects endowed with this invisible + power please me best, as human beings who possess it attract me + most; and my preference for it over other elements of character is + because I think it communicates itself, and that while in contact + with it one feels as if it were _catching_; and whether by the + shore, when the tide is coming up fast and irresistible, or in the + books or intercourse of other minds, it seems to rouse + corresponding activity and energy in one's self, persuading one, + for the time being, that one is strong. I am sure I have felt + taller by three inches, as well as three times more vigorous in + body and mind, than I really am, when running by the sea. It seemed + as if that great mass of waters, as it rushed and roared by my + side, was communicating power directly to my mind as well as my + bodily frame, by its companionship. I wish I was on the shore now + with you. It is surprising (talking of E----) how instantaneously, + and by what subtle, indescribable means, certain qualities of + individual natures make themselves felt--refinement, imagination, + poetical sensibility. People's voices, looks, and gestures betray + these so unconsciously; and I think more by the manner, a great + deal, than the matter of their speech. Refinement, particularly, is + a wonderfully subtle, penetrating element; nothing is so positive + in its effect, and nothing so completely escapes analysis and + defies description. + + I am glad dear little H---- thought I "grew pretty;" there is a + world of discrimination in that sentence of his. To your charge + that I should cultivate my judgment in preference to my + imagination, I can only answer, "I am ready and willing to do so;" + but it is nevertheless not altogether easy for me to do it. My life + in London leaves me neither time nor opportunity for any + self-culture, and it seems to me as if my best faculties were lying + fallow, while a comparatively unimportant talent, and my physical + powers, were being taxed to the uttermost. The profession I have + embraced is supposed to stimulate powerfully the imagination. I do + not find it so; it appeals to mine in a slight degree compared with + other pursuits; it is too definite in its object and too confined + in its scope to excite my imagination strongly; and, moreover, it + carries with it the antidote of its own excitement in the necessary + conditions under which it is exercised. Were it possible to act + with one's mind alone, the case might be different; but the body is + so indispensable, unluckily, to the execution of one's most + poetical conceptions on the stage, that the imaginative powers are + under very severe though imperceptible restraint. Acting seems to + me rather like dancing hornpipes in fetters. And, by no means the + least difficult part of the business is to preserve one's own + feelings warm, and one's imagination excited, while one is aiming + entirely at producing effects upon others; surrounded, moreover, as + one is, by objects which, while they heighten the illusion to the + distant spectator, all but destroy it to us of the _dramatis + personæ_. None of this, however, lessens the value and importance + of your advice, or my own conviction that "mental bracing" is good + for me. My reception on Monday was quite overpowering, and I was + escorted back to the hotel, after the play, by a body-guard of + about two hundred men, shouting and hurrahing like mad; strange to + say, they were people of perfectly respectable appearance. My + father was not with us, and they opened the carriage door and let + down the steps, when we got home, and helped us out, clapping, and + showering the most fervent expressions of good-will upon me and + aunt Dall, whom they took for my mother. One young man exclaimed + pathetically, "Oh, I hope ye're not too much fatigued, Miss Kemble, + by your exertions!" They formed a line on each side of me, and + several of them dropped on their knees to look under my bonnet, as + I ran laughing, with my head down, from the carriage to the house. + I was greatly confused and a little frightened, as well as amused + and gratified, by their cordial demonstration. + + The humors of a Dublin audience, much as I had heard of them before + going to Ireland, surprised and diverted me very much. The second + night of our acting there, as we were leaving the theater by the + private entrance, we found the carriage surrounded by a crowd + eagerly waiting for our coming out. As soon as my father appeared, + there was a shout of "Three cheers for Misther Char-_les!_" then + came Dall, and "Three cheers for Misthriss Char-_les!_" then I, and + "Three cheers for Miss Fanny!" "Bedad, she looks well by + gas-light!" exclaimed one of my admirers. "Och, and bedad, she + looks well by daylight too!" retorted another, though what his + opportunity for forming that flattering opinion of the genuineness + of my good looks had been, I cannot imagine. What further remarks + passed upon us I do not know, as we drove off laughing, and left + our friends still vociferously cheering. My father told us one day + of his being followed up Sackville Street by two beggar-women, + between whom the following dialogue passed, evidently with a view + to his edification: "Och, but he's an iligant man, is Misther + Char-_les_ Kemble!" "An' 'deed, so was his brudher Misther John, + thin--a moighty foine man! and to see his _demanour_, puttin' his + hand in his pocket and givin' me sixpence, bate all the worrld!" + When I was acting Lady Townley, in the scene where her husband + complains of her late hours and she insolently retorts, "I won't + come home till four, to-morrow morning," and receives the startling + reply with which Lord Townley leaves her, "Then, madam, you shall + never come home again," I was apt to stand for a moment aghast at + this threat; and one night during this pause of breathless dismay, + one of my gallery auditors, thinking, I suppose, that I was wanting + in proper spirit not to make some rejoinder, exclaimed, "Now thin, + Fanny!" which very nearly upset the gravity produced by my father's + impressive exit, both in me and in the audience. + + + DUBLIN, Friday, August 6, 1830. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I fear I caused you a disappointment by not writing to you + yesterday afternoon, but as it was not until between five and six + o'clock that I learned we were not going to Cork, when I thought of + writing you to that effect I found I was too late for the post. I + hope still that Dall and I may be able to come to Ardgillan again, + but we cannot leave my father alone here, and his departure for + Liverpool is at present quite uncertain. I have been trying to + reason myself into patience, notwithstanding a very childish + inclination to cry about it, which I think I will indulge because I + shall be able to be so much more reasonable without this stupid + lump in my throat. + + I hope I may see you again, dear H----. You are wrong when you say + you cannot be of service to me; I can judge better of the value of + your intercourse to me than you can, and I wish I could have the + advantage of more of it before I plunge back into "toil and + trouble." I have two very opposite feelings about my present + avocation: utter dislike to it and everything, connected with it, + and an upbraiding sense of ingratitude when I reflect how + prosperous and smooth my entrance upon my career has been. I hope, + ere long, to be able to remember habitually what only occasionally + occurs to me now, as a comfort and support, that since it was right + for me to embrace this profession, it is incumbent upon me to + banish all selfish regrets about the surrender of my personal + tastes and feelings, which must be sacrificed to real and useful + results for myself and others. You see, I write as I talk, still + about myself; and I am sometimes afraid that my very desire to + improve keeps me occupied too much about myself and will make a + little moral egotist of me. I am going to bid good-by to Miss W---- + this morning; I should like her to like me; I believe I should + value her friendship as I ought. Good friends are like the shrubs + and trees that grow on a steep ascent: while we toil up, and our + eyes are fixed on the summit, we unconsciously grasp and lean upon + them for support and assistance on our way. God bless you, dear + H----. I hope to be with you soon, but cannot say at present how + soon that may be. + + F. A. K. + +A very delightful short visit to my friend at Ardgillan preceded my +resuming my theatrical work at Liverpool, whence I wrote her the +following letter: + + LIVERPOOL August 19, 1830. + DEAR H----, + + I received your letter about an hour ago, at rehearsal, and though + I read it with rather dim eyes, I managed to swallow my tears, and + go on with Mrs. Beverley. + + The depth and solemnity of your feelings, my dear H----, on those + important subjects of which we have so often spoken together, + almost make me fear, sometimes, that I am not so much impressed as + I ought to be with their _awfulness_. I humbly hope I _fear_ as I + ought, but it is so much easier for me to love than to fear, that + my nature instinctively fastens on those aspects of religion which + inspire confidence and impart support, rather than those which + impress with dread. I was thinking the other day how constantly in + all our prayers the loftiest titles of might are added to that Name + of names, "Our Father," and yet His power is always less present to + my mind than His mercy and love. You tell me I do not know you, and + that may very well be, for one really _knows_ no one; and when I + reflect upon and attempt to analyze the various processes of my own + rather shallow mind, and find them incomprehensible, I am only + surprised that there should be so much mutual affection in a world + where mutual knowledge and understanding are really impossible. + + My side-ache was much better yesterday. I believe it was caused by + the pain of leaving you and Ardgillan: any strong emotion causes + it, and I remember when I last left Edinburgh having an attack of + it that brought on erysipelas. You say you wish to know how Juliet + does. Why, very well, poor thing. She had a very fine first house + indeed, and her success has been as great as you could wish it; out + of our ten nights' engagement, "Romeo and Juliet" is to be given + four times; it has already been acted three successive nights to + very great houses. To-night it is "The Gamester," to-morrow "Venice + Preserved," and on Saturday we act at Manchester, and on Monday + here again. You will hardly imagine how irksome it was to me to be + once more in my stage-trappings, and in the glare of the theater + instead of the blessed sunshine in the country, and to hear the + murmur of congregated human beings instead of that sound of many + waters, that wonderful sea-song, that is to me like the voice of a + dear friend. I made a great effort to conquer this feeling of + repugnance to my work, and thought of my dear Mrs. Harry, whom I + have seen, with a heart and mind torn with anxiety, leave poor + Lizzy on what seemed almost a death-bed, to go and do her duty at + the theater. That was something like a trial. There was a poor old + lady, of more than seventy years of age, who acted as my nurse, who + helped also to rouse me from my selfish morbidness--age and + infirmity laboring in the same path with rather more cause for + weariness and disgust than I have. She may have been working, too, + only for herself, while I am the means of helping my own dear + people, and many others; she toils on, unnoticed and neglected, + while my exertions are stimulated and rewarded by success and the + approval of every one about me. And yet my task is sadly + distasteful to me; it seems such useless work that but for its very + useful pecuniary results I think I would rather make shoes. You + tell me of the comfort you derive, under moral depression, from + picking stones and weeds out of your garden. I am afraid that + antidote would prove insufficient for me; the weeds would very soon + lie in heaps in my lap, and the stones accumulate in little + mountains all round me, while my mind was sinking into + contemplations of the nature of slow quicksands. Violent bodily + exercise, riding, or climbing up steep and rugged pathways are my + best remedies for the blue devils. + + My father has received a pressing invitation from Lord and Lady + W---- to go to their place, Heaton, which is but five miles from + Manchester. + + You say to me in your last letter that you could not live at the + rate I do; but my life is very different now from what it was while + with you. I am silent and quiet and oppressed with irksome duties, + and altogether a different creature from your late companion by the + sea-shore. It is true that that _was_ my natural condition, but if + you were here with me now, in the midst of all these unnatural + sights and sounds, I do not think I should weary you with my + overflowing life and spirits, as I fear I did at Ardgillan. I was + as happy there as the birds that fly in the clear sky above the + sea, and much happier, for I had your companionship in addition to + the delight which mere existence is in such scenes. I am glad Lily + made and wore the wreath of lilac blossoms; I was sure it would + become her. Give her my love and thanks for having done as I asked + her. Oh, do not wish Ardgillan fifteen miles from London! Even for + the sake of seeing you, I would not bring you near the smoke and + dirt and comparative confinement of such a situation; I would not + take you from your sea and sky and trees, even to have you within + reach of me. + + Certainly it is the natural evil of the human mind, and not the + supernatural agency in the story of its development, that makes + Macbeth so terrible; it is the hideousness of a wicked soul, into + which enter more foul ingredients than are held in the witches' + caldron of abominations, that makes the play so tremendous. I wish + we had read that great work together. How it contrasts with what we + did read, the "Tempest," that brightest creation of a wholesome + genius in its hour of happiest inspiration! + + I believe some people think it presumptuous to pray for any one but + themselves; but it seems to me strange to share every, feeling with + those we love and not associate them with our best and holiest + aspirations; to remember them everywhere but there where it is of + the utmost importance to us all to be remembered; to desire all + happiness for them, and not to implore in their behalf the Giver of + all good. I think I pray even more fervently for those I love than + for myself. Pray for me, my dear H----, and God bless you and give + you strength and peace. Your affectionate + + F. A. K. + + I have not seen the railroad yet; if you do not write soon to me, + we shall be gone to Manchester. + +My objection to the dramatic profession on the score of its uselessness, +in this letter, reminds me of what my mother used to tell me of Miss +Brunton, who afterward became Lady Craven; a very eccentric as well as +attractive and charming woman, who contrived, too, to be a very charming +actress, in spite of a prosaical dislike to her business, which used to +take the peculiar and rather alarming turn of suddenly, in the midst of +a scene, saying aside to her fellow-actors, "What nonsense all this is! +Suppose we don't go on with it." This singular expostulation my mother +said she always expected to see followed up by the sadden exit of her +lively companion, in the middle of her part. Miss Brunton, however, had +self-command enough to go on acting till she became Countess of Craven, +and left off the _nonsense_ of the stage for the _earnestness_ of high +life. + +A very serious cause for depression had added itself to the weariness of +spirit with which my distaste for my profession often affected me. While +at Liverpool, I received a letter from my brother John which filled me +with surprise and vexation. After his return from Germany he had +expressed his determination to go into the Church; and we all supposed +him to be in the country, zealously engaged in the necessary preparatory +studies. Infinite, therefore, was my astonishment to receive from him a +letter dated from Algeciras, in Spain, telling me that he and several of +his college companions, Sterling, Barton, Trench, and Boyd among others, +had determined to lend the aid of their enthusiastic sympathy to the +cause of liberty in Spain. The "cause of liberty in Spain" was then +represented by the rash and ill-fated rising of General Torrijos against +the Spanish Government, that protean nightmare which, in one form or +another of bigotry and oppression, has ridden that unfortunate country +up to a very recent time, when civil war has again interfered with +apparently little prospect of any better result. My distress at +receiving such unexpected news from my brother was aggravated by his +forbidding me to write to him or speak of his plans and proceedings to +any one. This concealment, which would have been both difficult and +repugnant to me, was rendered impossible by the circumstances under +which his letter reached me, and we all bore together, as well as we +could, this severe disappointment and the cruel anxiety of receiving no +further intelligence from John for a considerable time. I was bitterly +grieved by this letter, which clearly indicated that the sacred +profession for which my brother had begun to prepare himself, and in +which we had hoped to see him ere long honorably and usefully laboring, +was as little likely to be steadily pursued by him as the legal career +which he had renounced for it. Richard Trench brought home a knowledge +of the Spanish tongue which has given to his own some beautiful +translations of Calderon's masterpieces; and his early crusade for the +enfranchisement of Spain has not militated against the well-deserved +distinction he has achieved in the high calling to which he devoted +himself. With my brother, however, the case was different. This romantic +expedition canceled all his purposes and prospects of entering the +Church, and Alfred Tennyson's fine sonnet, addressed to him when he +first determined to dedicate himself to the service of the temple, is +all that bears witness to that short-lived consecration: it was poetry, +but not prophecy. + + MANCHESTER, September 3, 1830. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received you letter and the pretty Balbriggan stockings, for + which I thank you very much, quite safely. I have not been able to + put pen to paper till now, and even now do not know whether I can + do more than just tell you that we have heard nothing further + whatever from my brother. In his letter to me he said that he would + write home whenever he could do so safely, but that no letter of + ours would reach him; and, indeed, I do not now know where he may + be. From the first moment of hearing this intelligence, which has + amazed us all so much, I have felt less miserable than I could have + thought possible under the circumstances; my mind, I think, has + hardly taken hold of the truth of what has come so unexpectedly + upon me. The very impossibility of relieving one's suspense, I + suppose, compels one not to give way to its worst suggestions, + which may, after all, be unfounded. I cannot communicate with him, + and must wait patiently till he can write again; he is in God's + hand, and I hope and pray that he may be guided and protected. My + great anxiety is to keep all knowledge of his having even gone + abroad, if possible, from my mother. She is not in a state to bear + such a shock, and I fear that the impossibility of ascertaining + anything about him at present, which helps _me_ to remain tolerably + collected, would almost drive her distracted. + + The news of the revolt in the Netherlands, together with the fact + that one of our dear ones is away from us in scenes of peril and + disturbance, has, I think, shaken my father's purpose of sending + Henry to Heidelberg. It is a bad thing to leave a boy of eighteen + so far from home control and influences; and he is of a sweet, + affectionate, gentle disposition, that makes him liable to be + easily led and persuaded by the examples and counsels of others. + Moreover, he is at the age when boys are always in some love-scrape + or other, and if he is left alone at Heidelberg, in his own + unassisted weakness, at such a distance from us all, I should not + be surprised to hear that he had constituted himself the lord and + master of some blue-eyed _fräulein_ with whom he could not exchange + a dozen words in her own vernacular, and had become a + _dis_-respectable _pater familias_ at nineteen. In the midst of all + the worry and anxiety which these considerations occasion, we are + living here a most unsettled, flurried life of divided work and + pleasure. We have gone out to Heaton every morning after rehearsal, + and come in with the W----s in the evening, to act. I think + to-night we shall sleep there after the play, and come in with the + W----s after dinner to-morrow. They had expected us to spend some + days with them, and perhaps, after our Birmingham engagement, we + may be able to do so. Heaton is a charming specimen of a fine + country-house, and Lady W---- a charming specimen of a fine lady; + she is handsome, stately, and gentle. I like Lord W----; he is + clever, or rather accomplished, and refined. They are both of them + very kind to me, and most pressing in their entreaties that we + should return and stay as long as we can with them. To-morrow is my + last night here; on Monday we act at Birmingham, and my father + thinks we shall be able to avail ourselves of the invitation of our + Liverpool friends, and witness the opening of the railroad. This + would be a memorable pleasure, the opportunity of which should + certainly not be neglected. I have been gratified and interested + this morning and yesterday by going over one of the largest + manufactories of this place, where I have seen a number of + astonishing processes, from the fusing of iron in its roughest + state to the construction of the most complicated machinery and the + work that it performs. I have been examining and watching and + admiring power-looms, and spinning-jennies, and every species of + work accomplished by machinery. But what pleased me most of all was + the process of casting iron. Did you know that the solid masses of + iron-work which we see in powerful engines were many of them cast + in moulds of sand?--inconstant, shifting, restless sand! The + strongest iron of all, though, gets its strength beaten into it. + + BIRMINGHAM, September 7, 1830. + + You see, my dearest H----, how my conversations are liable to be + cut short in the midst; just at the point where I broke off, Lord + and Lady W---- came to fetch us to Heaton, and until this moment, + when I am quietly seated in Birmingham, I have not been able to + resume the thread of my discourse. I once was told of a man who had + been weather-bound at some port, whence he was starting for the + West Indies; he was standing on the wharf, telling a long story to + a friend, when a fair wind sprang up and he had to hurry on board. + Two years after, returning thence, the first person he met on + landing was his friend, whom he accosted with, "Oh, well, and so, + as I was telling you," etc. But I cannot do that, for my mind has + dwelt on new objects of interest since I began this letter, and my + visit to Heaton has swept sand and iron and engines all back into + the great warehouse at Manchester for a time, whence I may draw + them at some future day for your edification. + + Lady W---- possesses, to a great degree, beauty, that "tangible + good" which you admire so much; she has a bright, serene + countenance, and very sweet and noble eyes and forehead. Her manner + is peculiarly winning and simple, and to me it was cordially kind, + and even affectionate. + + During the two days which were all we could spare for Heaton, I + walked and rode and sang and talked, and was so well amused and + pleased that I hope, after our week's work is over here, we may + return there for a short-time. I must tell you of a curious little + bit of _ancientry_ which I saw at Heaton, which greatly delighted + me--a "rush-bearing." At a certain period of the year, generally + the beginning of autumn, it was formerly the wont in some parts of + Lancashire to go round with sundry rustic mummeries to all the + churches and strew them with rushes. The religious intention of the + custom has passed away, but a pretty rural procession, which I + witnessed, still keeps up the memory of it hereabouts. I was + sitting at my window, looking out over the lawn, which slopes + charmingly on every side down to the house, when the still summer + air was suddenly filled with the sound of distant shouts and music, + and presently the quaint pageant drew in sight. First came an + immense wagon piled with rushes in a stack-like form, on the top of + which sat two men holding two huge nosegays. This was drawn by a + team of Lord W----'s finest farm-horses, all covered with scarlet + cloths, and decked with ribbons and bells and flowers. After this + came twelve country lads and lasses, dancing the real old + morris-dance, with their handkerchiefs flying, and in all the + rustic elegance of apparel which they could command for the + occasion. After them followed a very good village band, and then a + species of flowery canopy, under which walked a man and woman + covered with finery, who, Lord W---- told me, represented Adam and + Eve. The procession closed with a _fool_ fantastically dressed out, + and carrying the classical bladder at the end of his stick. They + drew up before the house and danced their morris-dance for us. The + scraps of old poetry which came into my head, the contrast between + this pretty picture of a bygone time and the modern but by no means + unpicturesque group assembled under the portico, filled my mind + with the pleasantest ideas, and I was quite sorry when the rural + pageant wound up the woody heights again, and the last shout and + peal of music came back across the sunny lawn. I am very glad I saw + it. I have visited, too, Hopwood Hall, an enchanting old house in + the neighborhood of Heaton, some parts of which are as old as the + reign of Edward the First. The gloomy but comfortable oak rooms, + the beautiful and curious carving of which might afford one days of + entertaining study, the low, latticed windows, and intricate, + winding, up-and-down passages, contrasted and combined with all the + elegant adornments of modern luxury, and the pretty country in + which the house is situated, all delighted me. I must leave off + writing to you now; I have to dress, and dine at three, which I am + sorry for. Thank you for Mrs. Hemans's beautiful lines, which made + me cry very heartily. I have not been altogether well for the last + few days, and am feeling tired and out of spirits; if I can get a + few days' quiet enjoyment of the country at Heaton, I shall feel + fitter for my winter work than I do now. + + + MANCHESTER, September 20, 1830. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I did not answer your letter which I received at Heaton, because + the latter part of my stay there was much engrossed by walking, + riding, playing battledore and shuttlecock, singing, and being + exceedingly busy all day long about nothing. I have just left it + for this place, where we stop to-night on our way to Stafford; + Heaton was looking lovely in all the beauty of its autumnal + foliage, lighted by bright autumnal skies, and I am rather glad I + did not answer you before, as it is a consolatory occupation to do + so now. + + I am going with my mother to stay a day at Stafford with my + godmother, an old and attached friend of hers, after which we + proceed into Buckinghamshire to join my aunt Dall and Henry and my + sister, who are staying there; and we shall all return to London + together for the opening of the theater, which I think will take + place on the first of next month. I could have wished to be going + immediately to my work; I should have preferred screwing my courage + to my professional tasks at once, instead of loitering by way of + pleasure on the road. Besides that, in my visit to Buckinghamshire + I come in contact with persons whose society is not very agreeable + to me. My mother, however, made a great sacrifice in giving up her + fishing, which she was enjoying very much, to come and chaperon me + at Heaton, where there is no fishing so good as at Aston Clinton, + so that I am bound to submit cheerfully to her wishes in the + present instance. + + You probably have by this time heard and read accounts of the + opening of the railroad, and the fearful accident which occurred at + it, for the papers are full of nothing else. The accident you + mention _did_ occur, but though the unfortunate man who was killed + bore Mr. Stephenson's name, he was not related to him. I will tell + you something of the events on the 15th, as, though you may be + acquainted with the circumstances of poor Mr. Huskisson's death, + none but an eyewitness of the whole scene can form a conception of + it. I told you that we had had places given to us, and it was the + main purpose of our returning from Birmingham to Manchester to be + present at what promised to be one of the most striking events in + the scientific annals of our country. We started on Wednesday last, + to the number of about eight hundred people, in carriages + constructed as I before described to you. The most intense + curiosity and excitement prevailed, and, though the weather was + uncertain, enormous masses of densely packed people lined the road, + shouting and waving hats and handkerchiefs as we flew by them. What + with the sight and sound of these cheering multitudes and the + tremendous velocity with which we were borne past them, my spirits + rose to the true champagne height, and I never enjoyed anything so + much as the first hour of our progress. I had been unluckily + separated from my mother in the first distribution of places, but + by an exchange of seats which she was enabled to make she rejoined + me when I was at the height of my ecstasy, which was considerably + damped by finding that she was frightened to death, and intent upon + nothing but devising means of escaping from a situation which + appeared to her to threaten with instant annihilation herself and + all her traveling companions. While I was chewing the cud of this + disappointment, which was rather bitter, as I had expected her to + be as delighted as myself with our excursion, a man flew by us, + calling out through a speaking-trumpet to stop the engine, for that + somebody in the directors' carriage had sustained an injury. We + were all stopped accordingly, and presently a hundred voices were + heard exclaiming that Mr. Huskisson was killed; the confusion that + ensued is indescribable: the calling out from carriage to carriage + to ascertain the truth, the contrary reports which were sent back + to us, the hundred questions eagerly uttered at once, and the + repeated and urgent demands for surgical assistance, created a + sudden turmoil that was quite sickening. At last we distinctly + ascertained that the unfortunate man's thigh was broken. From Lady + W----, who was in the duke's carriage, and within three yards of + the spot where the accident happened, I had the following details, + the horror of witnessing which we were spared through our situation + behind the great carriage. The engine had stopped to take in a + supply of water, and several of the gentlemen in the directors' + carriage had jumped out to look about them. Lord W----, Count + Batthyany, Count Matuscenitz, and Mr. Huskisson among the rest were + standing talking in the middle of the road, when an engine on the + other line, which was parading up and down merely to show its + speed, was seen coming down upon them like lightning. The most + active of those in peril sprang back into their seats: Lord W---- + saved his life only by rushing behind the duke's carriage, and + Count Matuscenitz had but just leaped into it, with the engine all + but touching his heels as he did so; while poor Mr. Huskisson, less + active from the effects of age and ill health, bewildered, too, by + the frantic cries of "Stop the engine! Clear the track!" that + resounded on all sides, completely lost his head, looked helplessly + to the right and left, and was instantaneously prostrated by the + fatal machine, which dashed down like a thunderbolt upon him, and + passed over his leg, smashing and mangling it in the most horrible + way. (Lady W---- said she distinctly heard the crushing of the + bone.) So terrible was the effect of the appalling accident that, + except that ghastly "crushing" and poor Mrs. Huskisson's piercing + shriek, not a sound was heard or a word uttered among the immediate + spectators of the catastrophe. Lord W---- was the first to raise + the poor sufferer, and calling to aid his surgical skill, which is + considerable, he tied up the severed artery, and for a time, at + least, prevented death by loss of blood. Mr. Huskisson was then + placed in a carriage with his wife and Lord W----, and the engine, + having been detached from the director's carriage, conveyed them to + Manchester. So great was the shock produced upon the whole party by + this event, that the Duke of Wellington declared his intention not + to proceed, but to return immediately to Liverpool. However, upon + its being represented to him that the whole population of + Manchester had turned out to witness the procession, and that a + disappointment might give rise to riots and disturbances, he + consented to go on, and gloomily enough the rest of the journey was + accomplished. We had intended returning to Liverpool by the + railroad, but Lady W----, who seized upon me in the midst of the + crowd, persuaded us to accompany her home, which we gladly did. + Lord W---- did not return till past ten o'clock, at which hour he + brought the intelligence of Mr. Huskisson's death. I need not tell + you of the sort of whispering awe which this event threw over our + whole circle, and yet, great as was the horror excited by it, I + could not help feeling how evanescent the effect of it was after + all. The shuddering terror of seeing our fellow-creature thus + struck down by our side, and the breathless thankfulness for our + own preservation, rendered the first evening of our party at Heaton + almost solemn; but the next day the occurrence became a subject of + earnest, it is true, but free discussion; and after that, was + alluded to with almost as little apparent feeling as if it had not + passed under our eyes, and within the space of a few hours. + + I have heard nothing of my brother; my mother distresses me by + talking of him, ignorant as she is of what would give her so much + more anxiety about him. I feel, while I listen to her, almost + guilty of deceit; and yet I am sure we were right in doing for her + what she cannot do for herself, keeping her mind as long as + possible in comparative tranquillity about him. + + Our Sunday at Heaton terminated with much solemn propriety by Lord + W---- reading aloud the evening prayers to the whole family, + visitors, and servants assembled; a ceremony which, combined and + contrasted with so much of the pomps and vanities of the world, + gave me a pleasant feeling toward these people, who live in the + midst of them without forgetting better things. I mean to make + studying German and drawing (and endeavoring to abate my + self-esteem) my principal occupations this winter. I have met at + Heaton Lord Francis Leveson Gower, the translator of "Faust." I + like him very much; he is a young man of a great deal of talent, + with a charming, gentle manner, and a very handsome, sweet face. + Good-by, dear H----. Write to me soon, and direct to No. 79 Great + Russell Street, Bloomsbury. I should like to find a letter from you + there, waiting for me. + +Our arrangement for driving in to the theater from Heaton compelled me +once or twice to sit down to dinner in my theatrical costume, a device +for saving time in dressing at the theater which might have taxed my +self-possession unpleasantly; but the persons I was surrounded by were +all singularly kind and amiable to me, and my appearing among them in +these picturesque fancy dresses was rather a source of amusement to us +all. Many years after, a lady who was not staying in the house, but was +invited from the neighborhood to dine at Heaton one evening, told me how +amazed she had been on the sudden wide opening of the drawing-room doors +to see me enter, in full mediæval costume of black satin and velvet, cut +Titian fashion, and with a long, sweeping train, for which apparition +she had not been previously prepared. Of Lord W---- I have already +spoken, and have only to add that, in spite of his character of a mere +dissipated man of fashion, he had an unusual taste for and knowledge of +music, and had composed some that is not destitute of merit; he played +well on the organ, and delighted in that noble instrument, a fine +specimen of which adorned one of the drawing-rooms at Heaton. Moreover, +he possessed an accomplishment of a very different order, a remarkable +proficiency in anatomy, which he had studied very thoroughly. He had +made himself enough of a practical surgeon to be able, on the occasion +of the fatal accident which befell Mr. Huskisson on the day of the +opening of the railroad, to save the unfortunate gentleman from bleeding +to death on the spot, by tying up the femoral artery, which had been +severed. His fine riding in the hunting-field and on the race-course was +a less peculiar talent among his special associates. Lady W---- was +strikingly handsome in person, and extremely attractive in her manners. +She was tall and graceful, the upper part of her face, eyes, brow, and +forehead were radiant and sweet, and, though the rest of her features +were not regularly beautiful, her countenance was noble and her smile +had a peculiar charm of expression at once winning and mischievous. My +father said she was very like her fascinating mother, the celebrated +Miss Farren. She was extremely kind to me, petting me almost like a +spoiled child, dressing me in her own exquisite riding-habit and +mounting me on her own favorite horse, which was all very delightful to +me. My father and mother probably thought the acquaintance of these +distinguished members of the highest English society advantageous to me. +I have no doubt they felt both pride and pleasure in the notice bestowed +upon me by persons so much my superiors in rank, and had a natural +sympathy in my enjoyment of all the gay grandeur and kindly indulgence +by which I was surrounded at Heaton. I now take the freedom to doubt how +far they were judicious in allowing me to be so taken out of my own +proper social sphere. It encouraged my taste for the luxurious +refinement and elegant magnificence of a mode of life never likely to be +mine, and undoubtedly increased my distaste for the coarse and common +details of my professional duties behind the scenes, and the sham +splendors of the stage. The guests at Heaton of whom I have a distinct +remembrance were Mr. and Lady Harriet Baring, afterward Lord and Lady +Ashburton. I knew them both in after-life, and liked them very much; Mr. +Baring was highly cultivated and extremely amiable; his wife was much +cleverer than he, and in many respects a remarkable woman. The beautiful +sisters, Anne and Isabella Forrester, with their brother Cecil, were at +Heaton at this time. They were celebrated beauties: the elder, afterward +Countess of Chesterfield, was a brunette; the younger, who married +Colonel Anson, the most renowned lady-killer of his day, was a blonde; +and they were both of them exquisitely pretty, and used to remind me of +the French quatrain-- + + "Vous êtes belle, et votre soeur est belle; + Entre vous deux, tout choix serait bien doux. + L'Amour êtait blond, comme vous, + Mais il aimait une brune, comme elle." + +They had beautiful figures as well as faces, and dressed peculiarly and +so as to display them to the greatest advantage. Long and very full +skirts gathered or plaited all round a pointed waist were then the +fashion; these lovely ladies, with a righteous scorn of all +disfigurement of their beauty, wore extremely short skirts, which showed +their thorough-bred feet and ankles, and were perfectly plain round +their waists and over their hips, with bodies so low on the shoulders +and bosom that there was certainly as little as possible of their +beautiful persons concealed. I remember wishing it were consistent with +her comfort and the general decorum of modern manners that Isabella +Forrester's gown could only slip entirely off her exquisite bust. I +suppose I felt as poor Gibson, the sculptor, who, looking at his friend +and pupil's (Miss Hosmer's) statue of Beatrice Cenci, the back of which +was copied from that of Lady A---- T----, exclaimed in his slow, +measured, deliberate manner, "And to think that the cursed prejudices of +society prevent my seeing that beautiful back!" Count and Countess +Batthyany (she the former widow of the celebrated Austrian general, +Bubna, a most distinguished and charming woman) were visitors at Heaton +at this time, as was also Henry Greville, with whom I then first became +acquainted, and who from that time until his death was my kind and +constant friend. He was for several years attached to the embassy in +Paris, and afterward had some small nominal post in the household of the +Duchess of Cambridge, and was Gentleman Gold-Stick in waiting at court. +He was not in any way intellectually remarkable; he had a passion for +music, and was one of the best society singers of his day, being (that, +to me, incomprehensible thing) a _mélomane_ for one kind of music only. +Passionately fond of Italian operatic music, he did not understand, and +therefore cordially detested, German music. He had a passion for the +stage; but though he delighted in acting he did not particularly excel +in it. He had a taste for everything elegant and refined, and his small +house in May-Fair was a perfect casket full of gems. He was a natural +exquisite, and perfectly simple and unaffected, a great authority in all +matters of fashion both in Paris and in London, and a universal +favorite, especially with the women, in the highest society of both +capitals. His social position, friendly intimacy with several of the +most celebrated musical and dramatic artists of his day, passion for +political and private gossip, easy and pleasant style of letter-writing, +and general rather supercilious fastidiousness, used sometimes to remind +me of Horace Walpole. He had a singularly kind heart and amiable nature, +for a life of mere frivolous pleasure had not impaired the one or the +other. His serviceableness to his friends was unwearied, and his +generous liberality toward all whom he could help either with his +interest, his trouble, or his purse was unfailing. + +The whole gay party assembled at Heaton, my mother and myself included, +went to Liverpool for the opening of the railroad. The throng of +strangers gathered there for the same purpose made it almost impossible +to obtain a night's lodging for love or money; and glad and thankful +were we to put up with and be put up in a tiny garret by our old friend, +Mr. Radley, of the Adelphi, which many would have given twice what we +paid to obtain. The day opened gloriously, and never was seen an +innumerable concourse of sight-seers in better humor than the surging, +swaying crowd that lined the railroad with living faces. How dreadfully +that brilliant opening was overcast I have described in the letter given +above. After this disastrous event the day became overcast, and as we +neared Manchester the sky grew cloudy and dark, and it began to rain. +The vast concourse of people who had assembled to witness the triumphant +arrival of the successful travelers was of the lowest order of mechanics +and artisans, among whom great distress and a dangerous spirit of +discontent with the Government at that time prevailed. Groans and hisses +greeted the carriage, full of influential personages, in which the Duke +of Wellington sat. High above the grim and grimy crowd of scowling faces +a loom had been erected, at which sat a tattered, starved-looking +weaver, evidently set there as a _representative man_, to protest +against this triumph of machinery, and the gain and glory which the +wealthy Liverpool and Manchester men were likely to derive from it. The +contrast between our departure from Liverpool and our arrival at +Manchester was one of the most striking things I ever witnessed. The +news of Mr. Huskisson's fatal accident spread immediately, and his +death, which did not occur till the evening, was anticipated by rumor. A +terrible cloud covered this great national achievement, and its success, +which in every respect was complete, was atoned for to the Nemesis of +good fortune by the sacrifice of the first financial statesman of the +country. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, Friday, October 1, 1830. + DEAREST H----, + + I have risen very early, for what with excitement, and the + wakefulness always attendant with me upon a new bed, I have slept + but little, and I snatch this first hour of the day, the only one I + may be able to command, to tell you that I have heard from my + brother, and that he is safe and well, for which, thank God! + Further I know nothing. He talks vaguely of being with us toward + the end of the winter, but in the meantime, unless he finds some + means of conveying some tidings of his welfare to me, I must remain + in utter ignorance of his circumstances and situation. Your letter, + which was to welcome me to my new home, arrived there two days + before I did, and was forwarded to me into Buckinghamshire. A few + days there--taking what interest I could in the sporting and + fishing, the country quiet of the place, and above all the + privilege of taking the sacrament, which, had I remained at Heaton, + I should have had no opportunity of doing--gave me a breathing-time + and a sense of mental repose before entering again upon that busy + life whose demands are already besieging me in the inexorable form + of half a dozen new stage dresses to be devised, ordered, and + executed in the shortest imaginable time. + + October 3d. + + You see how truly I prophesied at the beginning of this letter, + when I said that the hour before breakfast was perhaps the only one + I should be able to command that day. I might have said that week, + for this is the first instant I have been able to call my own since + then. I rehearsed Juliet yesterday, and shall do so again to-morrow + morning; the theater opens with it to-morrow night. I have a new + nurse, and I am rehearsing for her, poor woman! She is dreadfully + alarmed at taking Mrs. Davenport's place, who certainly was a very + great favorite. I am half crazy with the number of new dresses to + be got; for though, thanks to the kindness and activity of my + mother, none of the trouble of devising them ever falls on me, yet + the bare catalogue of silks and satins and velvets, hats and + feathers and ruffs, fills me with amazement and trepidation. I + fancy I shall go through all the old parts, and then come out in a + new tragedy. I shall be most horribly frightened, but I hope I + shall do well, for the sake of the poor author, who is a young man + of great abilities, and to whom I wish every success. The subject + of his play is taken from a Spanish one, called "The Jew of + Aragon," and the whole piece is of a new and unhackneyed order. My + father and I play a Jewish father and daughter; this and the + novelty of the story itself will perhaps be favorable to the play; + I hope so with all my heart. + + Mrs. Henry Siddons has taken a house in London for six months; I + have not seen her yet, but am most anxious to do so. Anxiety and + annoyance, I fear, have just caused her a severe indisposition, but + she is a little better now. Mrs. Siddons is much better. She is + staying at Leamington at present. + + Dearest H----, returning from Buckinghamshire the other day, I + passed Cassiobury, the grove, the little lane leading down to Heath + Farm, and Miss M----'s cottage, and the first days of our + acquaintance came back to my memory. I suppose I should have liked + and loved you wherever I had met you, but you come in for a share + of my love and liking of Cassiobury, and the spring, the beautiful + season in which we met first. I send you the long-promised lock of + my hair; you will be surprised at the lightness of the shade--at + least, I was. It was cut from my forehead, and I think it is a nice + bit; tell me that you get it safe. + + Henry is staying in Buckinghamshire in all the ecstasy of a young + cockney's first sporting days. When he was quite a child and was + asked what profession he intended to embrace, he replied that he + would be "_a gentleman and wear leather breeches_," and I think + it is the very destiny he is fitted to fill. He is the perfect + picture of happiness when in his shooting-jacket and gaiters, with + his gun on his shoulder and a bright day before him; and although + we were obliged to return to town, my mother was unwilling to + curtail his pleasure, and left him to murder pheasants and hares, + and amuse himself in a manly fashion. + + I did not like the place at which they were staying as much as they + did, for though the country was very pretty, I had during the + summer tour seen so much that surpassed it that I saw it at a + disadvantage. Then, I have no fancy for gypsying, and the greatest + taste for all the formal proprieties of life, and what I should + call "silver fork existence" in general; and the inconveniences of + a small country inn, without really affecting my comfort, disturb + my decided preference for luxury. The principal diversion my + ingenious mind discovered to while away my time with was a _fiddle_ + (an elderly one), which I routed out of a lumber closet, and from + which, after due invocations to St. Cecilia, I drew such diabolical + sounds as I flatter myself were never excelled by Tartini or his + master, the devil himself. I must now close this, for it is + tea-time. + +The play of "The Jew of Aragon," the first dramatic composition of a +young gentleman of the name of Wade, of whose talent my father had a +very high opinion, which he trusted the success of his piece would +confirm, I am sorry to say failed entirely. It was the first time and +the last that I had the distress of assisting in damning a piece, and +what with my usual intense nervousness in acting a new part, my anxiety +for the interests of both the author and the theatre, and the sort of +indignant terror with which, instead of the applause I was accustomed +to, I heard the hisses which testified the distaste and disapprobation +of the public and the failure of the play, I was perfectly miserable +when the curtain fell, and the poor young author, as pale as a ghost, +came forward to meet my father at the side scene, and bravely holding +out his hand to him said, "Never mind for me, Mr. Kemble; I'll do better +another time." And so indeed he did; for he wrote a charming play on the +old pathetic story of "Griselda," in which that graceful actress Miss +Jarman played his heroine, and my father the hero, and which had an +entire and well-deserved success. I am obliged to confess that I retain +no recollection whatever of the ill-fated play of "The Jew of Aragon," +or my own part in it, save the last _scene_ alone; this, I recollect, +was a magnificent Jewish place of worship, in which my father, who was +the high priest, appeared in vestments such as I believe the Jewish +priests still wear in their solemn ceremonies, and which were so closely +copied from the description of Aaron's sacred pontifical robes that I +felt a sense of impropriety in such a representation (purely historical, +as it was probably considered, and in no way differing from the costume +accepted on the French stage in Racine's Jewish plays). And I think it +extremely likely that the failure of the piece, which had been imminent +all through, found its climax in the unfavorable impression made upon +the audience by this very scene, in spite of my father's noble and +picturesque appearance. + +I never heard hisses on the stage before or since; and though I was very +well aware that on this occasion they were addressed neither to me nor +to my performance, I think if they had been the whistling of bullets +(which I have also heard nearer than was pleasant) I could not have felt +more frightened and furious. + +Young Wade's self-control and composure during the catastrophe of this +play reminds me, by contrast, of a most ludicrous story my father used +to tell of some unfortunate authoress, who, in an evil hour for herself +and some friendly provincial manager, persuaded him to bring out an +original drama of hers. + +The audience (not a very discriminating or numerous one) were +sufficiently appreciative to object extremely to the play, and large +enough to make their objections noisily apparent. + +The manager, in his own distress not unmindful of his poor friend, the +authoress, sought her out to console her, and found her seated at the +side scene with a glass of stiff brandy and water that some +commiserating friend had administered to her for her support, rocking +herself piteously to and fro, and, with the tears streaming down her +cheeks, uttering between sobs and sips, in utter self-abasement, her +_peccavi_ in the form of oaths and imprecations of the finest +Billingsgate vernacular (all, however, addressed to herself), that would +have made a dragoon shake in his shoes. The original form of which _mea +culpa_ seized the worthy manager with such an irresistibly ludicrous +effect that he left the poor, guilty authoress without being able to +address a syllable to her, lest he should explode in peals of laughter +instead of decent words of condolence. + +To accompany an author or authoress (I should think especially the +latter) on the first night of the representation of their piece is by no +means a pleasant act of duty or friendship. I remember my mother, whose +own nervous temperament certainly was extremely ill adapted for such an +undertaking, describing the intolerable distress she had experienced on +the occasion of the first representation of a piece called, I think, +"Father and Son," taken from a collection of interesting stories +entitled "The Canterbury Tales," and adapted to the stage by one of the +Misses Lee, the sister authoresses of the Tales. The piece was very +fairly successful, but my mother said that though, according to her very +considerable experience, the actors were by no means more imperfect in +their parts than usual on a first night, her nervous anxiety was kept +almost at fever height by poor Miss Lee's incessant running commentary +of "Ah! very pretty, no doubt--very fine, I dare say--_only I never +wrote a word of it_!" + +Lord Byron took the same story for the subject of his powerful play of +"Werner," in which Mr. Macready acted so finely, and with such great +success. + +I cannot imagine what possessed me in an unguarded hour to consent, as I +did, to go with my friends, Messrs. Tom Taylor and Charles Reade, to see +the first representation of a play of theirs called, I think, "The +King's Wager," in which Charles the Second, Nell Gwynn, and the Plague +were prominent characters. Accidental circumstances prevented one of the +gentlemen from coming with me, and I have often since wondered at my +temerity in having placed myself in such a trying situation. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, October 24, 1830. + DEAR H----, + + I have been too busy to answer your last sooner, but this hour + before bedtime, the first quiet one for some time, shall be yours. + I have heard nothing more of my brother, and am ignorant where he + is or how engaged at present. You judged rightly with respect to + the impossibility of longer keeping my mother in ignorance of his + absence from England. The result was pretty much what I had + apprehended; but her feelings have now become somewhat calmer on + the subject. We are careful, however, as much as possible, to avoid + all mention of or reference to my brother in her presence, for she + is in a very cruel state of anxiety about him. + + I am endeavoring as much as possible to follow my studies with some + regularity. I have forsworn paying and receiving morning visits; so + that, when no rehearsal interferes, I get my practicing, my + singing, and my reading in tolerable peace. + + I have had a key of Russell Square offered me, which privilege I + shall most thankfully accept. Walking regularly is, of course, + essential, and though I rather dread the idea of solitarily turning + round and round that dreary emblem of eternity, a circular + gravel-walk, over-_gloomed_ with soot-blackened privet bushes, I am + sure I ought, and I mean to do it every day for an hour. We do not + dine till six, when I do not act, and when I do, I do not go to the + theater till that hour; so that from ten in the morning, when + breakfast is over, I get a tolerably long day. I have obtained my + father's leave to learn drawing and German, and as soon as our + house is a little more comfortably settled, I shall begin both. I + do not know whether I have the least talent for drawing, but I have + so strong a desire to possess that accomplishment that I think, by + the help of a good master and patience and hard work, I must + succeed to some decent degree. I wish to provide myself with every + possible resource against the engrossing excitement of my + profession while I remain in it, and to fill its place whenever I + leave it, or it leaves me; all my occupations are with that view + and to that end. + + My father has promised me to speak to Mr. Murray about publishing + my play and my verses. I am anxious for this for several reasons, + some of which I believe I mentioned to you; and to these I have + since added a great wish to have some good prints I possess framed, + for my little room, and I should not scruple to apply part of the + money so earned to that purpose. You asked me which is my room. You + remember the bathroom, next to what was my uncle John's bedroom, on + the third floor; the room above that my mother has fitted up + beautifully for me, and I inhabit it all day long with great + complacency and a sort of comfortable, Alexander-Selkirk feeling. + And this suggests a question which has seldom been out of my mind, + and which I wish to recall to yours. When do you intend to come and + see me? I can offer you a nest on the _fourth story_, which is + excellent for your health, as free a circulation of air as a London + lodging can well afford, and as fine a combination of chimney-pots + as even your love of the picturesque could desire. + + Dear H----, will you not come and pass a month with us? Now stop a + bit, and I will point out to you one by one the inducements to and + advantages of such a step. In the first place, my father and mother + both request and wish it, and you know how truly happy it would + make me. Your own people can well spare you for a month, and I am + sure will be the more inclined to do so from the consideration that + change of air and scene will be good for you, and that, though your + stock of original ideas is certainly extraordinary, yet you cannot + be expected to go on for ever, like a spider, existing mentally in + the midst of your own weavings, without every now and then + recruiting your strength and taking in a new supply of material. + + You shall come to London, that huge mass of matter for thought and + observation, and to me, in whom you find so interesting an epitome + of all the moods, tenses, and conjugations of every regular and + irregular form of "to do, to be, and to suffer;" and when you have + been sufficiently _smoked, fogged_, astonished, and edified, you + shall return home with one infallible result of your stay with + us--increased value for a peaceful life, quiet companions, a wide + sea-view, and potatoes roasted in their skins; not but what you + shall have the last-mentioned luxury here, if you will but come. + + Now, dear H----, I wish this very much, but promise to bear your + answer reasonably well; I depend upon your indulging me if you can, + and shall try not to behave ill if you don't; so do me justice, and + do not give way to your shyness and habits of retirement. I want + you to come here before the 20th of November, and then I will let + you go in time to be at home for Christmas. So now my cause is in + your hands--_avisez-vous_. + + I wonder whether you have heard that my father has been thrashing + the editor of the _Age_ newspaper, who, it seems, took offence at + my father's not appearing on sufficiently familiar terms with him + somewhere or other when they met, in revenge for which "coldness" + (as he styles it) he has not ceased for the last six months abusing + us, every week, in his paper. From what I hear I was the especial + mark of his malice; of course I need not tell you that, knowing the + character of this publication, I should never have looked at it, + and the circumstance of my name appearing in its columns would + hardly have been an inducement to me to do so. I knew nothing, + therefore, of my own injuries, but heard general expressions of + indignation against Mr. Westmacott, and saw that my father was + extremely exasperated upon the subject. The other night they were + all going to the play, and pressed me very much to go too, but I + had something I wished to write, and remained at home. On their + return my father appeared to me much excited, and I was informed + that having unluckily come across Mr. Westmacott, his wrath had got + the better of his self-command, and he had bestowed a severe + beating upon that individual. I could not help looking very grave + at this; for though I should have been very well satisfied if it + could have _rained_ a good thrashing upon Mr. Westmacott from the + sky, yet as I do not approve of returning injuries by injuries, I + could not rejoice that my father had done so. I suppose he saw that + I had no great satisfaction in the event, for he said, "The law + affords no redress against such attacks as this paper makes on + people, and I thought it time to take justice in my own hands when + my daughter is insulted." He then repeated some of the language + made use of with reference to me in the _Age_, and I could not help + blushing with indignation to my fingers' ends. + + Perhaps, under the circumstances, it is not surprising that my + father has done what he has, but I think I should have admired him + more if he had not. Mr. Westmacott means to bring an action against + him, and I am afraid he will have to pay dearly for his momentary + indulgence of temper. + + I must have done writing, though I had a good deal more to say. God + bless you, dear. If you answer this letter directly, I will write + you a better next time. + + Ever yours, + F. A. K. + +The majority of parents--mothers, I believe I ought to say--err in one +or other excess with regard to their children. Love either blinds them +absolutely to their defects, or makes them so terribly alive to them as +to exaggerate every imperfection. It is hard to say which of the errors +is most injurious in its effects. I suppose according as the temperament +is desponding and diffident, or sanguine and self-sufficient, the one +system or the other is likely to do most harm. + +My mother's intensely nervous organization, acute perceptions, and +exacting taste made her in everything most keenly alive to our faults +and deficiencies. The unsparing severity of the sole reply or comment +she ever vouchsafed to our stupidity, want of sense, or want of +observation--"I hate a fool"--has remained almost like a cut with a lash +across my memory. Her wincing sensitiveness of ear made it all but +impossible for me to practice either the piano or singing within hearing +of her exclamations of impatient anguish at my false chords and flat +intonations; and I suppose nothing but my sister's _unquenchable_ +musical genius would have sustained her naturally timid, sensitive +disposition under such discipline. + +Two of our family, my eldest brother and myself, were endowed with such +robust self-esteem and elastic conceit as not only defied repression, +but, unfortunately for us, could never be effectually snubbed; with my +sister and my younger brother the case was entirely different, and +encouragement was rather what they required. How well it is for the best +and wisest, as well as the least good and least wise, of trainers of +youth, that God is above all. I do not myself understand the love that +blinds one to the defects of those dear to one; their faults are part of +themselves, without which they could not be themselves, no more to be +denied or dissembled, it seems to me, than the color of their eyes or +hair. I do not feel the scruple which I observe in others, in alluding +to the failings of those they love. The mingled good and evil qualities +in my friends make up their individual identity, and neither from +myself, nor from them, nor from others does it ever occur to me that +half that identity should or could be concealed. I could as soon imagine +them without their arms or their legs as without their peculiar moral +characteristics, and could no more think of them without their faults +than without their virtues. + +Many were the pleasant hours, in spite of my misgivings, that I passed +with a book in my hand, mechanically pacing the gravel walks of Russell +Square. Certain readings of Shakespeare's plays, "Othello" and "Macbeth" +especially, in lonely absorption of spirit, I associate for ever with +that place. I remember, too, reading at my father's request, during +those peripatetic exercises, two plays written by Sheil for his amiable +countrywoman, Miss O'Neill, in which she won deserved laurels: "Evadne, +or the Statue," and "The Apostate." I never had the pleasure of seeing +Miss O'Neill act; but the impression left on my mind by those plays was +that her abilities must have been very great to have given them the +effect and success they had. As for me, as usual, of course my reply to +my father was a disconsolate "I am sure _I_ can do nothing with them." + +My friend H---- S----, in coming to us in Russell Street, came to a +house that had been almost a home to her and her brother when they were +children, in the life of my uncle and Mrs. John Kemble, by whom they +were regarded with great affection, and whom they visited and stayed +with as if they had been young relations of their own. + +My hope of learning German and drawing was frustrated by the engrossing +calls of my theatrical occupations. The first study was reserved for a +long-subsequent season, when I had recourse to it as a temporary +distraction in perplexity and sorrow, from which I endeavored to find +relief in some sustained intellectual effort; and I mastered it +sufficiently to translate without difficulty Schiller's "Mary Stuart" +and some of his minor poems. + +As for drawing, that I have once or twice tried to accomplish, but the +circumstances of my unsettled and restless life have been unfavorable +for any steady effort to follow it up, and I have got no further yet +than a passionate desire to know how to draw. If (as I sometimes +imagine) in a future existence undeveloped capacities and persistent +yearnings for all kinds of good may find expansion and exercise, and not +only our moral but also our intellectual being put forth new powers and +achieve progress in new directions, then in some of the successive +heavens to which, perhaps, I may be allowed to climb (if to any) I shall +be a painter of pictures; a mere idea that suggests a heavenly state of +long-desired capacity, to possess which, here on earth, I would give at +once the finger of either hand least indispensable to an artist. Of the +two pursuits, a painter's or a musician's, considered not as arts but as +accomplishments merely, the former appears to me infinitely more +desirable, for a woman, than the latter far more frequently cultivated +one. The one is a sedative, the other an acute stimulant to the nervous +system. The one is a perfectly independent and always to be commanded +occupation; the other imperatively demands an instrument, utters an +audible challenge to attention, and must either command solitude or +disturb any society not inclined to become an audience. The one +cultivates habits of careful, accurate observation of nature, and +requires patient and precise labor in reproducing her models; the other +appeals powerfully to the imagination and emotions, and charms almost in +proportion as it excites its votaries. With regard to natural aptitude, +the most musical of nations--the German--shows by the impartial training +of its common schools how universal it considers a certain degree of +musical capacity. + +Our musical literature of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, the +glees, madrigals, rounds, and catches, requiring considerable skill, and +familiarly performed formerly in the country houses and home circles of +our gentry, and the noble church music of our cathedral choirs, bear +witness to a high musical inspiration, and thorough musical training in +their composers and executants. + +We seem to have lost this vein of original national music; the +Lancashire weavers and spinners are still good choristers, but among the +German half of our common Teutonic race, the real feeling for and +knowledge of music continues to flourish, while with the Anglo-Saxons of +Britain and America it has dwindled and decayed. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, November 8, 1830. + DEAREST H----, + + I received your note, for I cannot honor the contents of your last + with the name of a letter (whatever title the shape and quantity of + the paper it was written on may claim). + + I have made up my mind to let you make up yours, without urging you + further upon the subject; but I must reply to one thing. You say to + me, could you bring with you a strip of sea-shore, a corner of blue + sky, or half a dozen waves, you would not hesitate. Allow my to say + that whereas by the sea-side or under a bright sky your society + enhances the pleasure derived from them, I now desire it (not + having these) as delightful in itself, increasing my enjoyment in + the beauties of nature, and compensating for their absence. But I + have done; only if Mrs. K---- has held out a false hope to me, she + is ferocious and atrocious, and that is all, and so pray tell her. + + I had left myself so little room to tell you about this + disagreeable business of the _Age_ newspaper, in my last, that I + thought what I said of it would be almost unintelligible to you. I + do not really deserve the sympathy you express for my feelings in + the matter, for partly from being totally ignorant of the nature + and extent of my injuries--having never, of course, read a line of + that scurrilous newspaper--and partly from my indifference to + everything that is said about me, I really have felt no annoyance + or distress on the subject, beyond, as I told you, one moment's + feminine indignation at a coarse expression which was repeated to + me, but which in strict truth did not and could not apply to me; + and considerable regret that my father should have touched Mr. + Westmacott even with a stick, or a "pair of tongs." That individual + intends bringing a suit for damages, which makes me very anxious to + have my play and rhymes published, if I can get anything for them, + as I think the profits derived from my "scribbles" (as good Queen. + Anne called her letters) would be better bestowed in paying for + that little ebullition of my father's temper than in decorating my + tiny sanctum. What does my poor, dear father expect, but that I + shall be bespattered if I am to live on the highway? + + Mr. Murray has been kind enough to say he will publish my very + original compositions, and I am preparing them for him. I am sorry + to say I have heard nothing from my brother; _of_ him I have heard, + for his whereabout is known and talked of--so much so, indeed, that + my father says further concealment is at once useless and + ridiculous. I may therefore now tell you that he is at this moment + in Spain, trying to levy troops for the cause of the + constitutionalists. I need not tell you, dearest H----, how much I + regret this, because you will know how deeply I must disapprove of + it. I might have thought any young man Quixotic who thus mistook a + restless, turbulent spirit, eager to embrace a quarrel not his own, + for patriotism and self-devotion to a sacred cause; but in my + brother, who had professed aims and purposes so opposed to tumult + and war and bloodshed, it seems to me a subject of much more + serious regret. Heaven only knows what plans he has formed for the + future! His present situation affords anxiety enough to warrant our + not looking further in anticipation of vexation, but even if the + present be regarded with the best hope of success in his + undertaking, the natural consideration must be, as far as he is + concerned, "What follows?" It is rather a melancholy consideration + that such abilities should be wasted and misapplied. Our own + country is in a perilous state of excitement, and these troubled + times make politicians of us all. Of course the papers will have + informed you of the risings in Kent and Sussex; London itself is in + an unquiet state that suggests the heaving of a volcano before an + eruption. It is said that the Duke of Wellington must resign; I am + ignorant, but it appears to me that whenever he does it will be a + bad day's work for England. The alarm and anxiety of the + aristocracy is extreme, and exhibits itself, even as I have had + opportunity of observing in society, in the half-angry, + half-frightened tone of their comments on public events. If one did + not sympathize with their apprehensions, their mode of expressing + them would sometimes be amusing. + + The aspect of public affairs is injurious to the theater, and these + graver interests thin our houses while they crowd the houses of + Parliament. However, when we played "The Provoked Husband" before + the king and queen the other night, the theater was crammed from + floor to ceiling, and presented a most beautiful _coup d'oeil_. I + have just come out in Mrs. Haller. It seems to have pleased the + people very much. I need not tell you how much I dislike the play; + it is the quintessence of trashy sentimentalism; but our audiences + cry and sob at it till we can hardly hear ourselves speak on the + stage, and the public in general rejoices in what the servant-maids + call "something deep." My father acts the Stranger with me, which + makes it very trying to my nerves, as I mix up all my own personal + feelings for him with my acting, and the sight of his anguish and + sense of his displeasure is really very dreadful to me, though it + is only all about "stuff and nonsense" after all. + + I must leave off writing; I am excruciated with the toothache, + which has tormented me without respite all day. I will inclose a + line to Mrs. K----, which I will beg you to convey to her. + + With kindest love to all your circle, believe me ever yours, + + F. A. K. + + Thank you for your delicious French comic song; you should come to + London to hear how admirably I sing it. + +Mrs. K---- was a Miss Dawson, sister of the Right Honorable George +Dawson, and the wife of an eminent member of the Irish bar. She was a +woman of great mental cultivation and unusual information upon subjects +which are generally little interesting to women. She was a passionate +partisan of Owen the philanthropist and Combe the phrenologist, and +entertained the most sanguine hopes of the regeneration of the whole +civilized world through the means of the theories of these benevolent +reformers. Except Queen Elizabeth, of glorious memory, I do not think a +woman can have existed who combined the love of things futile and +serious to the same degree as Mrs. K----. Her feminine taste for +fashionable society and the frivolities of dress, together with her +sober and solid studies of the gravest sort and her devotion to the +speculations of her friends Owen and Combe, constituted a rare union of +contrasts. She was a remarkable instance of the combination exemplified +by more than one eminent person of her sex, of a capacity for serious +study, solid acquirements, and enlightened and liberal views upon the +most important subjects, with a decided inclination for those more +trifling pursuits supposed to be the paramount interests of the female +mind. She was the dear friend of my dear friend Miss S----, and +corresponded with her upon the great subject of social progress with a +perfect enthusiasm of theoretical reform. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, November 14th + DEAREST H----, + + Thank you a thousand times for your kindness in consenting to come + to us. We are all very happy in the hope of having you, nor need + you be for a moment nervous or uncomfortable from the idea that we + shall receive or treat you otherwise than as one of ourselves. I + have left my mother and my aunt in the room which is to be yours, + devising and arranging matters for you. It is a very small roost, + dear H----, but it is the only spare room in our house, and + although it is three stories up, it is next to mine, and I hope + good neighborhood will atone for some deficiencies. With regard to + interfering with the routine or occupations of the family, they are + of a nature which, fortunately for your scruples, renders that + impossible. There is but one thing in your letter which rather + distressed me: you allude to the inconveniences of a woman + traveling in mail coaches in December, and I almost felt, when I + read the sentence, what my aunt Dall told me after I had requested + you to come to us now, that it was a want of consideration in me to + have invited you at so ungenial a season for traveling. I had one + reason for doing so which I hope will excuse the apparent + selfishness of the arrangement. Toward the end of the spring I + shall be leaving town, I hope to come nearer your land, and the + beginning of our spring is seldom much more mild and inviting or + propitious for traveling than the winter itself. Then, too, the + early spring is the time when our engagements are unavoidably very + numerous; to decline going into society is not in my power, and to + drag you to my balls (which I love dearly) would, I think, scarce + be a pleasure to you (whom I love more), and to go to them when I + might be with you would be to run the risk of destroying my taste + for the only form of intercourse with my fellow-creatures which is + not at present irksome to me. Think, dear H----, if ceasing to + dance I should cease to care for universal humanity--indeed, take + to hating it, and become an absolute misanthropist! What a risk! + + I have heard nothing more of or from John, but the newspaper + reports of the proceedings are rather more favorable than they have + been, though I fear one cannot place much reliance on them. I do + not know how the papers you see speak of the aspect of affairs in + England at this moment; the general feeling seems to be one of + relief, and that, whatever apprehensions may have been entertained + for the tranquillity of the country, the storm has blown over for + the present. Everything is quiet again in London and promises to + remain so, and there seems to be a sort of "drawing of a long + breath" sensation in the state of the public mind, though I cannot + myself help thinking not only that we have been, but that we still + are, on the eve of some great crisis. + + Mrs. Haller is going on very well; it is well spoken of, I am told, + and upon the whole it seems to have done me credit, though I am + surprised it has, for there is nothing in the part that gives me + the least satisfaction. My next character, I hear, is to be of a + very different order of frailty--Calista, in "The Fair Penitent." + However odious both play and part are, there are powerful + situations in it, and many opportunities for fine acting, but I am + afraid I am quite unequal to such a _turpissime_ termagant, with + whom my aunt did such tremendous things. + +My performance of "The Fair Penitent" was entirely ineffective, and did +neither me nor the theater any service; the play itself is a feeble +adaptation of Massinger's powerful drama of "The Fatal Dowry," and, as +generally happens with such attempts to fit our old plays to our modern +stage, the fundamentally objectionable nature of the story could not be +reformed without much of the vigorous and terrible effect of the +original treatment evaporating in the refining process. Mr. Macready +revived Massinger's fine play with considerable success, but both the +matter and the manner of our dramatic ancestors is too robust for the +audiences of our day, who nevertheless will go and see "Diane de Lys," +by a French company of actors, without wincing. Of Mrs. Siddons's Mrs. +Haller, one of her admirers once told me that her majestic and imposing +person, and the commanding character of her beauty, militated against +her effect in the part. "No man, alive or dead," said he, "would have +dared to take a liberty with her; wicked she might be, but weak she +could not be, and when she told the story of her ill-conduct in the +play, nobody believed her." While another of her devotees, speaking of +"The Fair Penitent," said that it was worth sitting out the piece for +her scene with Romont alone, and to see "such a splendid animal in such +a magnificent rage." + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +My friend left us after a visit of a few weeks, taking my sister to +Ireland with her on a visit to Ardgillan. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, December 21st. + MY DEAREST H----, + + My aunt Dall brought me home word that you wished me to send a + letter which should meet you on your arrival at Ardgillan; and I + would have done so, but that I had previously promised myself that + I would do nothing this day till I had copied out the fourth act of + "The Star of Seville," and you know unless I am steady at my work + this week, I shall break my word a second time, which is + _impossible_, as it ought to have been at first. + +[A tragedy in five acts, called "The Star of Seville," at which I was +working, is here referred to. My father had directed my attention to the +subject by putting in my hands a sketch of the life and works of Lope de +Vega, by Lord Holland. The story of La Estrella de Seviglia appeared to +my father eminently dramatic, and he excited me to choose it for the +subject of a drama. I did so, and Messrs. Saunders and Ottley were good +enough to publish it; it had no merit whatever, either dramatic or +poetical (although I think the subject gave ample scope for both), and I +do not remember a line of it.] + + However, it is nine o'clock; I have not ceased writing except to + dine, and my act is copied; and now I can give you an hour before + bedtime. How are you? and how is dear A----? Give her several good + kisses for me; she is by this time admirable friends with all your + circle, I doubt not, and slightly, superficially acquainted with + the sea. Tell her she is a careless little puss, though, for she + forgot the plate with my effigy on it for Hercules [Miss S----'s + nephew] which she was to have given my aunt to pack up. I am quite + sorry about it; tell him, however, he shall not lose by it, for I + will send him both a plate with the Belvidera and a mug with my own + natural head on it, the next time you return home. + + I stood in the dining-room listening to your carriage wheels until + I believe they were only rolling in my imagination; you cannot + fancy how doleful our breakfast was. Henry was perfectly enraged at + finding that A---- was gone in earnest, and my father began to + wonder how it had ever come to pass that he had consented to let + her go. After breakfast, Dall and I walked to Mr. Cartwright's (the + dentist), who fortunately did not torture me much; for if he had, + my spirits were so exceedingly low that I am sure I should have + disgraced myself and cried like a coward. As soon as we came home I + set to work, and have never stopped copying till I began this + letter, when, having done my day's work, I thought I might tell you + how much I miss you and dear A----. + + My father is gone to the theater upon business to-night; my mother + is very unwell, and Dall and Henry, as well as myself, are stupid + and dreary. + + My dear H----, tell me how you bore the journey and the cold, and + how dear A---- fared on the road; how you found all your people, + and how the dell and the sea are looking. Write to me very _soon_ + and _very_ long. You have let several stitches fall in one of the + muffetees you knit for me, and it is all running to ruin; I must + see and pick them up at the theater on Thursday night. You have + left all manner of things behind you; among others, Channing's two + essays; I will keep all your property honestly for you, and shall + soon have time to read those essays, which I very much wish to do. + + A large supply of Christmas fare arrived from Stafford to-day from + my godmother, and among other things, a huge nosegay for me. I was + very grateful for the flowers; they are always a pleasure, and + to-day I thought they tried to be a consolation to me. + + Now I must break off. Do you remember Madame de Sévigné's "Adieu; + ce n'est pas jusqu'à demain--jusqu'à samedi--jusqu' aujourd'hui en + huit; c'est adieu pour un an"? and yet I certainly have no right to + grumble, for our meeting as we have done latterly is a pleasure as + little to have been anticipated as the events which have enabled us + to do so, and for which I have so many reasons to be thankful. God + bless you, dear H----; kiss dear little A---- for me, and remember + me affectionately to all your people. + + I am yours ever truly, + FANNY. + + Dall sends her best love to both, and all; and Henry bids me tell + A---- that the name of the Drury Lane pantomime is "Harlequin and + Davy Jones, or Mother Carey's Chickens." Ours is yet a secret; he + will write her all about it. + +Mr. Cartwright, the eminent dentist, was a great friend of my father's; +he was a cultivated gentleman of refined taste, and an enlightened judge +and liberal patron of the arts. If anything could have alleviated the +half-hour's suspense before one obtained admission to his beautiful +library, which was on some occasions (of, I suppose, slight importance) +his "operating-room," it would have been the choice specimens of lovely +landscape painting, by the first English masters, which adorned his +dining-room. I have sat by Sir Thomas Lawrence at the hospitable +dinner-table, where Mr. Cartwright gave his friends the most agreeable +opportunity of using the teeth which he, preserved for them, and heard +in his house the best classical English vocal music, capitally executed +by the first professors of that school, and brilliant amicable rivalry +of first-rate piano-forte performances by Cramer, Neukomm, Hummel, and +Moscheles, who were all personal friends of their host. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, January 3, 1831. + MY DEAR H----, + + I promised you, in the interesting P.S. I annexed to my aunt Dall's + letter, to write to you to-day, and I sit down this evening to + fulfill my promise. My father is gone out to dinner, my mother is + asleep on the sofa, Dall reclines dozing in that blissful armchair + you wot of, and Henry, happier than either, is extended snoring + before the fire on the softest, thickest, splendidest colored rug + (a piece of my mother's workmanship) that the most poetical canine + imagination could conceive; I should think an earthly type of those + heavenly rugs which virtuous dogs, according to your creed, are + destined to enjoy. + +[My friend Miss S---- held (without having so eloquently advocated) the +theory of her and my friend Miss Cobbe, of the possible future existence +of animals; such animals at any rate as had formed literally a precious +part of the earthly existence of their owners, and in whom a certain +sense, so nearly resembling conscience, is developed, by their obedience +and attachment to the superior race, that it is difficult to consider +them unmoral creatures. Perhaps, however, if the choice were given our +four-footed friends to share our future prospects and present +responsibility, they might decline the offer, "Thankfu' they werena' +men, but dogs."] + + Dear H----, the pleasant excitement of your society assisted the + natural contentedness or indifference of my disposition to throw + aside many reflections upon myself and others, the life I lead and + its various annoyances, which have been unpleasantly forced upon me + since your departure; and when I say that I do not feel happy, you + will not count it merely the blue-devilish fancy of a German brain + or an English (that is bilious) stomach. + + I have a feeling, not of dissatisfaction or discontent so much as + of sadness and weariness, though I struggle always and sometimes + pretty successfully to rouse myself from it. + + You say you wish to know what we did on Christmas Day. I'll tell + you. In the morning I went to church, after which I came home and + copied "The Star of Seville" till dinner-time. After dinner my + mother, who had proposed spending the evening at our worthy + pastor's, Mr. Sterky's, finding my father disinclined for that + exertion, remained at home and went to sleep; my father likewise, + Dall likewise, Henry likewise; and I copied on at my play till + bedtime: _voilà_. On Monday, contrary to my expectation, I had to + play Euphrasia before the pantomime. You know we were to spend + Christmas Eve at my aunt Siddons's; we had a delightful evening and + I was very happy. My aunt came down from the drawing-room (for we + danced in the dining-room on the ground floor) and sat among us, + and you cannot think how nice and pretty it was to see her + surrounded by her clan, more than three dozen strong; some of them + so handsome, and many with a striking likeness to herself, either + in feature or expression. Mrs. Harry and Cecy danced with us, and + we enjoyed ourselves very much; I wished for dear A---- + exceedingly. Wednesday we dined at Mrs. Mayow's. + +[My mother's dear friend, Mrs. Mayow, was the wife of a gentleman in a +high position in one of our Government offices. She was a West Indian +creole, and a singularly beautiful person. Her complexion was of the +clear olive-brown of a perfectly Moorish skin, with the color of a +damask rose in her cheeks, and lips as red as coral. Her features were +classically symmetrical, as was the soft, oval contour of her face; her +eyes and hair were as black as night, and the former had a halo of fine +lashes of the most magnificent length. She never wore any head-dress but +a white muslin turban, the effect of which on her superb dark face was +strikingly handsome, and not only its singularity but its noble and +becoming simplicity distinguished her in every assembly, amid the +various fantastic head-gear of each successive Parisian "fashion of the +day." As a girl she had been remarkably slender, but she grew to an +enormous size, without the increased bulk of her person disfiguring or +rendering coarse her beautiful face.] + + Thursday I acted Lady Townley, and acted it abominably ill, and was + much mortified to find that Cecilia had got my cousin Harry to + chaperon her two boys to the play that night; because, as he never + before went to see me act, it is rather provoking that the only + time he did so I should have sent him to sleep, which he gallantly + assured me I did. I do not find cousins so much more polite than + brothers (one's natural born plagues). Harry's compliment to my + acting had quite a brotherly tenderness, I think. Friday, New + Year's Eve, we went to a ball at Mrs. G----'s, which I did not much + enjoy; and yesterday, New Year's Day, Henry and I spent the evening + at Mrs. Harry's. There was no one there but Cecy and her two boys, + and we danced, almost without stopping, from eight till twelve. + +[The lads my cousin Cecilia called her boys were the two younger sons of +her brother George Siddons, Mrs. Siddons's eldest son, then and for many +years after collector of the port at Calcutta. These lads and their +sisters were being educated in England, and were spending their +Christmas holidays with their grandmother, Mrs. Siddons. The youngest of +these three schoolboys, Henry, was the father of the beautiful Mrs. +Scott-Siddons of the present day. It was in the house of my cousin +George Siddons, then one of the very pleasantest and gayest in Calcutta, +that his young nephew Harry, son of his sister-in-law, my dear Mrs. +Harry Siddons, was to find a home on his arrival in India, and +subsequently a wife in Harriet, the second daughter of the house.] + + I am to act Juliet to-morrow, and Calista on Thursday; Friday and + Saturday I am to act Mrs. Haller and Lady Townley at Brighton. I + shall see the sea, that's one comfort, and it will be something to + live upon for some time to come. Next Wednesday week I am to come + out in Bianca, in Milman's "Fazio." Do you know the play? It is + very powerful, and my part is a very powerful one indeed. I have + hopes it may succeed greatly. Mr. Warde is to be my Fazio, for, I + hear, people object to my having my father's constant support, and + wish to see me act _alone_; what geese, to be sure! I wonder + whether they think my father has hold of strings by the means of + which he moves my arms and legs! I am very glad something likely to + strike the public is to be given before "Inez de Castro" (a tragedy + of Miss Mitford's), for it will need all the previous success of a + fine play and part to carry us safely through that. + + I have not seen Mr. Murray again; I conclude he is out of town just + now. + + We have made all inquiries about poor dear A----'s trunk, and of + course, as soon as we hear of it, it will be sent to her; I am very + sorry for her, poor dear little child, but I advise her, when she + does get them, to put on each of her new dresses for an hour by + turns, and sit opposite the glass in them. Good-by, dear H----. + Your affectionate + + F. K. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, 6th January, 1831. + DEAREST H----, + + I have only time to say two words to you, for I am in the midst of + preparations for our flight to Brighton, to-morrow. Thank you for + your last letter; I liked it very much, and will answer it at + length when we come back to town. + + Mr. Murray has got my MSS., but I have yet heard nothing about it + from him. My fire is not in that economical invention, the + "miserable basket" [an iron frame fitting inside our common-sized + grate to limit the extravagant consumption of coal], but well + spread out in the large comfortable grate; yet I am sitting with my + door and windows all wide open; it is a lovely, bright, mild spring + day. I do not lose my time any more of a morning watching the fire + kindling, for the housemaid lights it before I get out of bed, so + my poetry and philosophy are robbed of a most interesting subject + of meditation. + + With regard to what you say about A----, I do not know that I + expected her to love, though I was sure she would admire, nature; + she is very young yet, and her quick, observant mind and tendency + to wit and sarcasm make human beings more amusing, if not more + interesting, to her than inanimate objects. It is not the beauty of + nature alone, as it appeals merely to our senses, that produces + that passionate love for it which induces us to prefer communion + with it to the intercourse of our fellows. The elevated trains of + thought, and the profound and sublime aspirations which the + external beauty of the world suggests, draw and rivet our mind and + soul to its contemplation, and produce a sort of awful sense of + companionship with the Unseen, which cannot, I think, be an + experience of early youth. For then the volatile, vivid, and + various spirit, with its sympathizing and communicative tendency, + has a strong propensity to spend itself on that which can return + its value in like commodity; and exchange of thought and feeling is + a preponderating desire and necessity, and human fellowship and + intercourse is naturally attractive to unworn and unwearied human + nature. I suppose the consolatory element in the beautiful + _un_human world in which we live is not often fully appreciated by + the young, they want comparatively so little of it; youth is itself + so thoroughly its own consoler. Some years hence, I dare say A---- + will love both the sea and sky better than she does now. To a + certain degree, too, the love of solitude, which generally + accompanies a deep love for nature, is a kind of selfishness that + does not often exist in early life. + + I am desired to close this letter immediately; I have therefore + only time to add that I act Calista to-night here, Mrs. Haller + to-morrow at Brighton, and Saturday, also there, Lady Townley. On + Monday I act Juliet here, and on Wednesday Bianca in "Fazio"--when + pray for me! Now you know where to think of me. I will write to you + a _real_ letter on Sunday. + + Kiss A---- for me, and do not be unhappy, my dear, for you will + soon see me again; and in the meantime I advise you, as you think + my picture so much more agreeable than myself, to console yourself + with that. Good-by. + + Your affectionate + FANNY. + +The fascination of sitting by a brook and watching the lapsing water, +or, on the sands, the oncoming, uprising, breaking, and melting away of +the white wave-crests, is, I suppose, matter of universal experience. I +do not know whether watching fire has the same irresistible attraction +for everybody. It has almost a stronger charm for me; and the hours I +have spent sitting on the rug in front of my grate, and watching the +wonderful creature sparkling and glowing there, have been almost more +than I dare remember. I was obliged at last, in order not to waste half +my day in the contemplation of this bewitching element, to renounce a +practice I long indulged in of lighting my own fire; but to this moment +I envy the servant who does that office, or should envy her but that she +never remains on her knees worshiping the beautiful, subtle spirit she +has evoked, as I could still find it in my heart to do. + +I think I remember that Shelley had this passion for fire-gazing; it's a +comfort to think that whatever he could _say_, he could never _see_ more +enchanting things in his grate than I have in mine; but indeed, even for +Shelley, the motions and the colors of flames are unspeakable. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, January 9, 1831. + DEAR H----, + + I promised you a letter to-day, and if I can do so now, at least I + will begin to keep my promise, though I think it possible my + courage may fail me after the first side of my sheet of paper. We + arrived in town from Brighton on this afternoon at four o'clock, + and though it is not yet ten I am so weary, and have so much to do + to-morrow (rehearsing "Fazio" and acting Juliet), that I think I + shall not sit up much longer to-night, even to write to you. + + We found my mother tolerably well, and Henry, who had been out + skating all day, in great beauty and high spirits. I must now tell + you what I had not room for when I wrote you those few lines in + A----'s letter. + + Mr. Barton, a friend of John's who traveled with him in Germany, + and whose sister has lately married John Sterling (of whom you have + often heard us speak), called here the other day, and during the + course of a long visit told us a great deal of the very beginning + of this Spanish expedition, and of the share Mr. Sterling and + Richard Trench [the present venerable archbishop of Dublin] had in + its launching. + + It seems (though he would not say whence they derived them) that + they were plentifully supplied with funds, with which they + purchased and manned a vessel destined to carry arms and ammunition + to Spain for the purposes of the revolutionists. This ship they put + under command of an experienced _smuggler_, and it was actually + leaving the mouth of the Thames with Sterling and Mr. Trench on + board it, bound for Spain, when by order of Lord Aberdeen it was + stopped. Our two young gentlemen jumped into a boat and made their + escape, but Mr. Sterling, hearing that government threatened to + proceed against the captain of the captured vessel, came forward + and owned it as his property, and exonerated the man, as far as he + could, from any share of the blame attaching to an undertaking in + which he was an irresponsible instrument. Matters were in this + state, with a prosecution pending over John Sterling, when the + ministry was changed, and nothing further has been done or said by + government on the subject since. + + My brother had gone off to Gibraltar previously to all this, to + take measures for facilitating their landing; he is now quietly and + I hope comfortably wintering there. Torrijos, it seems, is not at + all disheartened, but is waiting for the propitious moment, which, + however, from the appearance of things, I should not consider + likely to be at hand just yet. Mr. Sterling has, I understand, been + so seriously ill since his marriage that at one time his life was + despaired of, and even now that he is a little recovered he is + ordered to Madeira as soon as he can be moved. This is very sad for + his poor bride. + + Of our home circle I have nothing to tell you. My father, Dall, and + I had a very delightful day on Saturday at Brighton. After a lovely + day's journey, we arrived there on Friday. Our companion in the + coach luckily happened to be a son of Dr. Burney's, who was an old + and intimate friend of my father's, and they discoursed together + the whole way along, of all sorts of events and people: of my uncle + John and my aunt Siddons, in their prime; of Mrs. Jordan and the + late king; of the present one, Harlow, Lawrence, and innumerable + other folk of note and notoriety. Among other things they had a + long discussion on the subject of Hamlet's feigned or--as my father + maintains and I believe--real madness; all this formed a very + amusing accompaniment to the history of Sir Launcelot du Lac, which + I was reading with much delight when I was not listening to their + conversation. + + I like all that concerns the love adventures of these valorous + knights of yore; but their deadly blows and desperate thrusts, + their slashing, gashing, mashing, mangling, and hewing bore me to + death. The fate of Guinevere interested me deeply, but Sir + Launcelot's warlike exploits I got dreadfully weary of; I prefer + him greatly in hall and bower rather than in tournament and + battle-field. + + We got into Brighton at half-past four, and had just time to dine, + dress, and go to the theater, where we were to act "The Stranger." + The house was very full indeed, but my reception was not quite what + I had expected; for whether they were disappointed in my dress + (Mrs. Haller being traditionally clothed in droopacious white + muslin, and I dressing her in gray silk, which is both stiff and + dull looking, as I think it should be), or whether, which I think + still more likely, they were disappointed in my "personal + appearance," which, as you know, is neither tragical nor heroic, I + know not, but I thought their welcome rather, cold; but the truth + is, I believe my London audience spoils me for every other. + However, the play went off admirably, and I believe everybody was + satisfied, not excepting the manager, who assured me so full and + _enthusiastic_ a house had not been seen in Brighton for many + years. + + Our rooms at the inn [the old Ship was then _the_ famous Brighton + hotel] looked out upon the sea, but it was so foggy when we entered + Brighton that although I perceived the _motion_ of the waves + through the mist that hung over them, their color and every object + along the shore was quite indistinct. The next morning was + beautiful. Dall and I ran down to the beach before breakfast; there + are no sands, unluckily, but we stood ankle-deep in the shingles, + watching the ebbing tide and sniffing the sweet salt air for a long + time with great satisfaction. After breakfast we rehearsed "The + Provoked Husband," and from the theater proceeded to take a walk. + + All this was very fine, but still it was streets and houses; and + there were crowds of gay people parading up and down, looking as + busy about nothing and as full of themselves as if the great awful + sea had not been close beside them. In fact, I was displeased with + the levity of their deportment, and the contrast of all that + fashionable frivolity with the grandest of all natural objects + seemed to me incongruous and discordant; and I was so annoyed at + finding myself by the sea-side and _yet_ still surrounded with all + the glare and gayety of London, that I think I wished myself at the + bottom of the cliff and Brighton at the bottom of the sea. However, + we walked on and on, beyond the Parade, beyond the town, till we + had nothing but the broad open downs to contrast with the broad + open sea, and then I was completely happy. I gave my muff to my + father and my fur tippet to Dall, for the sun shone powerfully on + the heights, and I walked and ran along the edge of the cliffs, + gazing and pondering, and enjoying the solemn sound and the + brilliant sight, and the nervous excitement of a slight sense of + fear as I peeped over at the depth below me. From this diversion, + however, my father called me away, and, to console me for not + allowing me to run the risk of being dashed to pieces, offered to + run a race up a small hill with me, and beat me hollow. + + We had walked about four miles when we halted at one of the + Preventive Service stations to look about us. The tide had not yet + come in, but its usual height when up was indicated, first by a + delicate, waving fringe of sea-weed, like very bright green moss, + and then, nearer in shore, by an incrustation of chalk washed from + the cliffs, which formed a deep embossed silver embroidery along + the coast as far as eye could see. The sunshine was dazzling, and + its light on the detached masses of milky chalk which lay far + beneath us made them appear semi-transparent, like fragments of + alabaster or carnelian. I was wishing that I _could but_ get down + the cliff, when a worthy sailor appeared toiling up it, and I + discovered his winding stair case cut in the great chalk wall, down + which I proceeded without further ado. I was a little frightened, + for the steps were none of the most regular or convenient, and I + felt as if I were hanging (and at an uncomfortable distance from + either) between heaven and earth. I got down safe, however, and ran + to the water's edge, danced a galop on one smooth little sand + island, waited till the tide, which was coming up, just touched my + toes, gave it a kick of cowardly defiance, and then showed it a + fair pair of heels and scrambled up the cliff again, very much + enchanted with my expedition. + + I think a fight with smugglers up that steep staircase at night, + with a heavy sea rolling and roaring close under it, would be + glorious! When I reached the top my father said it was time to go + home, so we returned. The Parade was crowded like Hyde Park in the + height of the season [Thackeray called Brighton London-super-Mare], + and when once I was out of the crowd and could look down upon it + from our windows as it promenaded up and down, I never saw anything + gayer: carriages of every description--most of them + open--cavalcades of ladies and gentlemen riding to and fro, throngs + of smart bonnets and fine dresses; and beyond all this the high + tide, with one broad crimson path across it, thrown by the sun, + looking as if it led into some enchanted world beyond the waters. + + I thought of dear A----; for though she is seeing the sea--and I + think the sea at Ardgillan, with its lovely mountains on one side + and Skerries on the other, far more beautiful than this--I am sure + she would have been enchanted with the life, the bustle, and + brilliancy of the Parade combined with its fine sea view, for I, + who am apt rather selfishly to wish myself alone in the enjoyment + of nature, looked at the bright, moving throng with pleasure when + once I was out of it. + + Our house at the theater at night was very fine; and now, as you + are perhaps tired of Brighton, you will not be sorry to get home + with me; but pray communicate the end of our "land sorrow" to + A----. We were to start for London Sunday morning at ten [a journey + of six hours by coach, now of less than two by rail], and my father + had taken three inside places in a coach, which was to call for us + at our inn. I ran down to the beach and had a few moments alone + there. It was a beautiful morning, and the fishing boats were one + by one putting out into the calmest sleepy sea. I longed to ask to + be taken on board one of them; but I was summoned away to the + coach, and found on reaching it that, the fourth place being + occupied by a sickly looking woman with a sickly looking child + nearly as big as herself in her lap, my father, notwithstanding the + coldness of the morning, had put himself on the outside. I went to + sleep; from which blessed refuge of the wretched I was recalled by + a powerful and indescribable smell, which, seizing me by the nose, + naturally induced me to open my eyes. Mother and daughter were each + devouring a lump of black, strong, greasy plum cake; as a specific, + I presume, against (or for?) sickness in a stage-coach. + + The late Duke of Beaufort, when Marquis of Worcester, used + frequently to amuse himself by driving the famous fast Brighton + coach, the Highflyer. One day, as my father was hastily depositing + his shilling gratuity in his driver's outstretched hand, a shout of + laughter, and a "Thank ye, Charles Kemble," made him aware of the + gentleman Jehu under whose care he had performed the journey. + + + WEDNESDAY, January 12, 1831. + DEAREST H----, + + I received your letter dated the 7th the night before last, and + purposed ending this long epistle yesterday evening with an answer + to it, but was prevented by having to go with my mother to dine + with Mrs. L----, that witty woman and more than middle-aged beauty + you have heard me speak of. I was repaid for the exertion I had not + made very willingly, for I had a pleasant dinner. This lady has a + large family and very large fortune, which at her death goes to her + eldest son, who is a young man of enthusiastically religious views + and feelings; he has no profession or occupation, but devotes + himself to building chapels and schools, which he himself + superintends with unwearied assiduity; and though he has never + taken orders, he preaches at some place in the city, to which + crowds of people flock to hear him; none of which is at all + agreeable to his mother, whose chief anxiety, however, is lest some + one of the fair Methodists who attend his exhortations should + admire his earthly expectations as much as his heavenly prospects, + and induce this young apostle to marry her for her soul's sake; all + which his mother told mine, with many lamentations over the godly + zeal of her "serious" son, certainly not often made with regard to + young men who are likely to inherit fine fortunes and estates. One + of this young gentleman's sisters is strongly imbued with the same + religious feeling, and I think her impressions deepened by her very + delicate state of health. I am much attracted by her gentle manner, + and the sweet, serious expression of her face, and the earnest tone + of her conversation; I like her very much. + + My mother is reading Moore's "Life of Byron," and has fallen in + love with the latter and in hate with his wife. She declares that + he was originally good, generous, humble, religious--indeed, + everything that a man can be, short of absolute perfection. She + thinks me narrow-minded and prejudiced because I do not care to + read his life, and because, in spite of all Moore's assertions, I + maintain that with Byron's own works in one's hand his character + cannot possibly be a riddle to anybody. I dare say the devil may + sometimes be painted blacker than he is; but Byron has a fancy for + the character of Lucifer, and seems to me, on the contrary, _très + pauvre diable_. I have no idea that Byron was half fiend, half man + (at least, no more so than all of us are); I dare say he was not at + all really an atheist, as he has been reputed; indeed, I do not + think Lord Byron, in spite of all the fuss that has been made about + him, was by any means an uncommon character. His genius was indeed + rare, but his pride, vanity, and selfishness were only so in + degree. You know, H----, nobody was ever a more fanatical worshiper + of his poetry than I was: time was that I devoured his verses + (poison as they were to me) like "raspberry tarts;" I still know, + and remember with delight, their exquisite beauty and noble vigor, + but they don't agree with me. And, without knowing anything of his + religious doubts or moral delinquencies, I cannot at all agree with + Mr. Moore that upon the showing of his own works Byron was a "good + man." If he was, no one has done him such injustice as himself; and + if _he_ was _good_, then what was Milton? and what genial and + gentle Shakespeare? + + Good-by, dear H----; write me along "thank you" for this longest of + mortal letters, and believe that I am your ever affectionate + + F. A. K. + + I began living upon my allowance on New Year's Day, and am keeping + a most rigorous account of every farthing I spend. I have a + tolerable "acquisitiveness" among my other organs, but think I + would rather get than keep money, and to earn would always be + pleasanter to me than to save. I act in "Fazio" to-night, Friday, + and Monday next, so you will know where to find me on those + evenings. + + + MONDAY, 27th. + DEAR H----, + + Horace Twiss has been out of town, and I have been obliged to delay + this for a frank. You will be glad, I know, to hear that "Fazio" + has made a great hit. Milman is coming to see me in it to-night; I + wish I could induce him to write me such another part. + + We are over head and ears in the mire of chancery again. The + question of the validity of our--the great theater--patents is now + before Lord Brougham; I am afraid they are not worth a farthing. I + am to hear from Mr. Murray some day this week; considering the + features of my handwriting, it is no wonder it has taken him some + time to become acquainted with the MSS. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, January 29, 1831. + MY DEAR H----, + + All our occupations have been of a desultory and exciting kind, and + all our doings and sayings have been made matter of surprise and + admiring comment; of course, therefore, we are disinclined for + anything like serious or solid study, and naturally conclude that + sayings and doings so much admired and wondered at _are_ admirable + and astonishing. A---- is possessed of strong powers of ridicule, + and the union of this sarcastic vein with a vivid imagination seems + to me unusual; their prey is so different that they seldom hunt in + company, I think. When I heard that she was reading "Mathilde" + (Madame Cottin), I was almost afraid of its effect upon her. I + remember at school, when I was her age, crying three whole days and + half nights over it; but I sadly overrated her sensibility. Her + letter to me contained a summary, abusive criticism of "Mathilde" + as a book, and ended by presenting to me one of those ludicrous + images which I abhor, because, while they destroy every serious or + elevated impression, they are so absurd that one cannot defend + one's self from the "idiot laughter" they excite, and leave one no + associations but grinning ones with one's romantic ideals. Her + letters are very clever and make me laugh exceedingly, but I am + sorry she has such a detestation of Mrs. Marcet and natural + philosophy. As for her letters being shown about, I am not sorry + that my indiscretion has relieved A---- from a restraint which, if + it had only been disagreeable to her, would not have mattered so + much, but which is calculated to destroy all possibility of free + and natural correspondence, and inevitably renders letters mere + compositions and their young authors vain and pretentious. I have + always thought the system a bad one, for under it, if a girl's + letters are thought dull, she feels as if she had made a failure, + and if they are laughed at and passed from hand to hand with her + knowledge, the result is much worse; and in either case, what she + writes is no longer the simple expression of her thoughts and + feelings, but samples of wit, ridicule, and comic fancy which are + to be thought amusing and clever by others than those to whom they + are addressed. + + You say my mother in her note to you speaks well of my acting in + Bianca. It has succeeded very well, and I think I act some of it + very well; but my chief pleasure in its success was certainly her + approbation. She is a very severe critic, and, as she censures + sharply, I am only too thankful when I escape her condemnation. I + think you will be pleased with Bianca. I was surprised when I came + to act it at finding how terribly it affected me, for I am not + naturally at all jealous, and in this play, while feigning to be + so, it seemed to me that it must be really the most horrible + suffering conceivable; I am almost sorry that I can imagine it well + enough to represent it well. + + You say that we love intellect, but I do not agree with you; I do + not think intellect excites love. I do not even think that it + increases our love for those we do love, though it adds admiration + to our affection. I certainly do admire intellect immensely; mental + power, which allied to moral power, goodness, is a force to uphold + the universe. + + I have forsworn all discussions about Byron; my mother and I differ + so entirely on the subject that, as I cannot adopt her view of his + character, I find it easier to be silent about my own. Perhaps her + extreme admiration of him may have thrown me into a deeper + disapprobation than I should otherwise have expressed. He has many + excuses, doubtless: the total want of early restraint, the + miserable influence of the injudicious mother who alternately + idolized and victimized him, the bitter castigation of his first + plunge into literature, and then the flattering, fawning, fulsome + adoration of his habitual associates, of course were all against + him; but, after all, one cannot respect the man who strikes colors + to the enemy as one does the one who comes conqueror out of the + conflict. I now believe that there is a great deal of unreality in + those sentiments to which the charm of his verses lent an + appearance of truth and depth; in fact, his poetical feelings will + sometimes stand the test of sober reflection quite as little as his + grammar will that of a severe application of the rules of syntax. + He has written immensely for mere effect, but all young people read + him, and young people are not apt to analyze closely what they feel + strongly, and, judging by my own experience, I should think Byron + had done more mischief than one would like to be answerable for. + When I said this the other day to my mother, she replied by + referring to his "Don Juan," supposing that I alluded to his + profligacy; but it is not "Don Juan" only or chiefly that I think + so mischievous, but "Manfred," "Cain," "Lucifer," "Childe Harold," + and through them all Byron's own spirit--the despondent, defiant, + questioning, murmuring, bitter, proud spirit, that acts powerfully + and dangerously on young brains and throws poison into their + natural fermentation. + + Since you say that my perpetual quotation of that stupid song, "Old + Wilson is Dead," worries you, I will renounce my delight in teasing + you with it. The love of teasing is, of course, only a base form of + the love of power. Mr. Harness and I had a long discussion the + other night about the Cenci; he maintains your opinion, that the + wicked old nobleman was absolutely mad; but I argued the point + stoutly for his sanity, and very nearly fell into the fire with + dismay when I was obliged to confess that if he was not mad, then + his actuating motive was simply _the love of power_. Do you know + that that play was sent over by Shelley to England with a view to + Miss O'Neill acting Beatrice Cenci? If it were ever possible that + the piece could be acted, I should think an audience might be half + killed with the horror of that entrance of Beatrice when she + describes the marble pavement sliding from beneath her feet. + + Did my mother tell you in her note that Milman was at the play the + other night, and said I had made Bianca exactly what he intended? I + wish he would write another tragedy. I think perhaps he will, from + something Murray said the other day. That eminent publisher still + has my MSS. in his possession, but you know I can take things + easily, and I don't feel anxious about his decision. I act in + "Fazio" Monday and Wednesday, and Friday and Saturday Mrs. Beverley + and Belvidera at Brighton. + +I was inexpressibly relieved by receiving a letter from my brother, and +the intelligence that if I answered him he would be able to receive my +reply, which I made immediate speed to send him. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + My brother John is alive, safe and well, in Gibraltar. You deserve + to know this, but it is all I can say to you. My mother has + suffered so much that she hardly feels her joy; it has broken her + down, and I, who have borne up well till now, feel prostrated by + this reprieve. God be thanked for all his mercies! I can say no + more. + + F. A. K. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, February 7, 1831. + MY DEAR H----, + + I found your lecture waiting for me on my return from Brighton; I + call it thus because if your two last were less than letters your + yesterday's one is more; but I shall not attempt at present to + follow you to the misty heights whither our nature tends, or dive + with you into the muddy depths whence it springs. I have heard from + my brother John, and now expect almost hourly to see him. The + Spanish revolution, as he now sees and as many foresaw, is a mere + vision. The people are unready, unripe, unfit, and therefore + unwilling; had it not been so they would have done their work + themselves; it is as impossible to urge on the completion of such a + change before the time as to oppose it when the time is come. John + now writes that, all hope of rousing the Spaniards being over, and + their party consequently dispersing, he is thinking of bending his + steps homeward, and talks of once more turning his attention to the + study of the law. I know not what to say or think. My cousin, + Horace Twiss, was put into Parliament by Lord Clarendon, but the + days of such parliamentary patronage are numbered, and I do not + much deplore it, though I sometimes fancy that the House of + Commons, could it by any means have been opened to him, might + perhaps have been the best sphere for John. His natural abilities + are brilliant, and his eloquence, energy, and activity of mind + might perhaps have been made more and more quickly available for + good purposes in that than in any other career. + + I am not familiar with all that Burns has written; I have read his + letters, and know most of his songs by heart. His passions were so + violent that he seems to me in that respect to have been rather a + subject for poetry than a poet; for though a poet should perhaps + have a strongly passionate nature, he should also have power enough + over it to be able to observe, describe, and, if I may so say, + experimentalize with it, as he would with the passions of others. I + think it would better qualify a man to be a poet to be able to + perceive rather than liable to feel violent passion or emotion. May + not such things be known of without absolute experience? What is + the use of the poetical imagination, that lower inspiration, which, + like the higher one of faith, is the "evidence of things not seen"? + Troubled and billowy waters reflect nothing distinctly on their + surface; it is the still, deep, placid element that gives back the + images by which it is surrounded or that pass over its surface. I + do not of course believe that a good man is necessarily a poet, but + I think a devout man is almost always a man with a poetical + imagination; he is familiar with ideas which are essentially + sublime, and in the act of adoration he springs to the source of + all beauty through the channel by which our spirits escape most + effectually from their chain, the flesh, and their prison-house, + the world, and rise into communion with that supreme excellence + from which they originally emanated and into whose bosom they will + return. I cannot now go into all I think about this, for I have so + many other things to talk about. Since I began this letter I have + heard a report that John is a prisoner, that he has been arrested + and sent to Madrid. Luckily I do not believe a word of this; if he + has rendered himself obnoxious to the British authorities in + Gibraltar they may have locked him up for a week or two there, and + I see no great harm in that; but that he should have been delivered + to the Spaniards and sent to Madrid I do not believe, because I + know that the whole revolutionary party is going to pieces, and + that they have neither the power nor the means to render themselves + liable to such a disagreeable distinction. We expect him home every + day. Only conceive, dear H----, the ill-fortune that attends us: my + father, or rather the theater, is involved in six lawsuits I He and + my mother are neither of them quite well; anxiety naturally has + much share in their indisposition. + + I learned Beatrice this morning and the whole of it, in an hour, + which I tell you because I consider it a feat. I am delighted at + the thoughts of acting it; it will be the second part which I shall + have acted with real pleasure; Portia is the other, but Beatrice is + not nearly so nice. I am to act it next Thursday, when pray think + of me. + + I do not know whether you have seen anything in the papers about a + third theater; we have had much anxiety, vexation, and expense + about it, but I have no doubt that Mr. Arnold will carry the + question. The great people want a plaything for this season, and + have set their hearts upon that. I acted Belvidera to my father's + Jaffier at Brighton; you cannot imagine how great a difference it + produced in my acting. Mrs. Siddons and Miss O'Neill had a great + advantage over me in their tragic partners. Have you heard that Mr. + Hope, the author of "Anastasius," is just dead? That was a + wonderfully clever book, of rather questionable moral effects, I + think; the same sort of cynical gloom and discontent which pervade + Byron's writings prevail in that; and I thought it a pity, because + in other respects it seems a genuine book, true to life and human + nature. A few days before I heard of his death, Mr. Harness was + discussing with me a theory of Hope's respecting the destiny of the + human soul hereafter. His notion is that all spirit is after death + to form but one whole spiritual existence, a sort of _lumping_ + which I object to. I should like always to be able to know myself + from somebody else. + + I _do_ read the papers sometimes, dear H----, and, whenever I do, I + wonder at you and all sensible people who make a daily practice of + it; the proceedings of Parliament would make one angry if they did + not make one so sad, and some of the debates would seem to me + laughable but that I know they are lamentable. + + I have just finished Channing's essay on Milton, which is + admirable. + + My cousin Harry sails for India on Thursday; his mother is making a + brave fight of it, poor soul! I met them all at my aunt Siddons's + last night; she was remarkably well, and "charming," as she styles + herself when that is the case. Good-by. Always affectionately + yours, + + FANNY. + +I suppose it is one of the peculiarities of the real poetical +temperament to receive, as it were, a double impression of its own +phenomena--one through the senses, affections, and passions, and one +through the imagination--and to have a perpetual tendency to make +intellectual capital of the experiences of its own sensuous, +sentimental, and passionate nature. In the above letter, written so many +years ago, I have used the term _experimentalizing_ with his own nature +as the process of a poet's mind; but though self-consciousness and +self-observation are almost inseparable from the poetical organization, +Goethe is the only instance I know of what could, with any propriety, be +termed self-experimentalizing--he who wrung the heart and turned the +head of the whole reading Europe of his day by his own love passages +with Madame Kestner transcribed into "The Sorrows of Werther." + +Self-illustration is perhaps a better term for the result of that +passionate egotism which is so strong an element in the nature of most +poets, and the secret of so much of their power. _Ils s'intéressent +tellement à ce qui les regarde_, that they interest us profoundly in it +too, and by the law of our common nature, and the sympathy that pervades +it, their great difference from their kind serves but to enforce their +greater likeness to it. + +Goethe's nature, however, was not at all a predominantly passionate one; +so much the contrary, indeed, that one hardly escapes the impression all +through his own record of his life that he _felt_ through his +overmastering intellect rather than his heart; and that he analyzed too +well the processes of his own feelings ever to have been carried by them +beyond the permission of his will, or out of sight of that æsthetic +self-culture, that development, which really seems to have been his +prevailing passion. A strong histrionic vein mixes, too, with his more +imaginative mental qualities, and perpetually reveals itself in his +assumption of fictitious characters, in his desire for producing +"situations" in his daily life, and in his conscious "effects" upon +those whom he sought to impress. + +His genius sometimes reminds me of Ariel--the subtle spirit who, +observing from aloof, as it were (that is, from the infinite distance of +his own _unmoral_, demoniacal nature), the follies and sins and sorrows +of humanity, understands them all and sympathizes with none of them; and +describes, with equal indifference, the drunken, brutish delight in his +music expressed by the coarse Neapolitan buffoons and the savage +gorilla, Caliban, and the abject self-reproach and bitter, poignant +remorse exhibited by Antonio and his fellow conspirators; telling +Prospero that if _he_ saw them he would pity them, and adding, in his +passionless perception of their anguish, "I should, sir, _were I +human_." + +There is a species of remote partiality in Goethe's mode of delineating +the sins and sorrows of his fellows, that seems hardly human and still +less divine; "_Das ist dämonisch_," to use his own expression about +Shakespeare, who, however, had nothing whatever in common with that +quality of moral _neutrality_ of the great German genius. + +Perhaps nothing indicates what I should call Goethe's intellectual +_unhumanity_ so much as his absolute want of sympathy with the progress +of the race. He was but mortal man, however, though he had the head of +Jove, and Pallas Athena might have sprung all armed from it. Once, and +once only, if I remember rightly, in his conversations with Eckermann, +the cause of mankind elicits an expression of faith and hope from him, +in some reference to the future of America. I recollect, on reading the +second part of "Faust" with my friend Abeken (assuredly the most +competent of all expounders of that extraordinary composition), when I +asked him what was the signification of that final cultivation of the +barren sea sand, in Faust's blind old age, and cried, "Is it possible +that he wishes to indicate the hopelessness of all attempt at progress?" +his replying, "I am afraid he was no believer in it." And so it comes +that his letters to Madame von Stein leave one only amazed with the more +sorrowful admiration that the unrivaled genius of the civilized world in +its most civilized age found perfect satisfaction in the inane routine +of the life of a court dignitary in a petty German principality. + +It is worthy of note how, in the two instances of his great +masterpieces, "Faust" and "Wilhelm Meister," Goethe has worked up in a +sequel all the superabundant material he had gathered for his subject; +and in each case how the life-blood of the poet pulses through the first +part, while the second is, as it were, a mere storehouse of splendid +intellectual supply which he has wrought into elaborate phantasmagoria, +dazzling in their brilliancy and wonderful in their variety, but all +alike difficult to comprehend and sympathize with--the rare mental +fragments, precious like diamond dust, left after the cutting of those +two perfect gems. + +Free-trade had hardly uttered a whisper yet upon any subject of national +importance when the monopoly of theatrical property was attacked by Mr. +Arnold, of the English Opera House, who assailed the patents of the two +great theaters, Covent Garden and Drury Lane, and demanded that the +right to act the legitimate drama (till then their especial privilege) +should be extended to all British subjects desirous to open play-houses +and perform plays. A lawsuit ensued, and the proprietors of the great +houses--"his Majesty's servants," by his Majesty's royal patent since +the days of the merry monarch--defended their monopoly to the best of +their ability. My father, questioned before a committee of the House of +Commons upon the subject, showed forth the evils likely, in his opinion, +to result to the dramatic art and the public taste by throwing open to +unlimited speculation the right to establish theaters and give +theatrical representations. The great companies of good sterling actors +would be broken up and dispersed, and there would no longer exist +establishments sufficiently important to maintain any large body of +them; the best plays would no longer find adequate representatives in +any but a few of the principal parts, the characters of theatrical +pieces produced would be lowered, the school of fine and careful acting +would be lost, no play of Shakespeare's could be decorously put on the +stage, and the profession and the public would alike fare the worse for +the change. But he was one of the patented proprietors, one of the +monopolists, a party most deeply interested in the issue, and therefore, +perhaps, an incompetent judge in the matter. The cause went against us, +and every item of his prophecy concerning the stage has undoubtedly come +to pass. The fine companies of the great theaters were dissolved, and +each member of the body that together formed so bright a constellation +went off to be the solitary star or planet of some minor sphere. The +best plays no longer found decent representatives for any but one or two +of their first parts; the pieces of more serious character and higher +pretension as dramatic works were supplanted by burlesques and parodies +of themselves; the school of acting of the Kembles, Young, the Keans, +Macready, and their contemporaries, gave place to no school at all of +very clever ladies and gentlemen, who certainly had no pretension to act +tragedy or declaim blank verse, but who played low comedy better than +high, and lowest farce best of all, and who for the most part wore the +clothes of the sex to which they did not belong. Shakespeare's plays +_all_ became historical, and the profession was decidedly the worse for +the change; I am not aware, however, that the public has suffered much +by it. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 5, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I am extremely obliged to you for your long account of Mrs. John + Kemble, and all the details respecting her with which, as you knew + how intensely interesting they were likely to be to me, you have so + kindly filled your letter. Another time, if you can afford to give + a page or two to her interesting dog, Pincher, I shall be still + more grateful; you know it is but omitting the superfluous word or + two you squeeze in about yourself. + + As for the journal I keep, it is--as what is not?--a matter of + mingled good and bad influences and results. I am so much alone + that I find this pouring out of my thoughts and feelings a certain + satisfaction; but unfortunately one's book is only a recipient, and + not a commentary, and I miss the sifting, examining, scrutinizing, + discussing intercourse that compels one to the analysis of one's + own ideas and sentiments, and makes the society of any one with + whom one communicates unreservedly so much more profitable, as well + as pleasurable, than this everlasting self-communion. I miss my + wholesome bitters, my daily dose of contradiction; and you need not + be jealous of my book, for it is a miserable _pis aller_ for our + interminable talks. + + I had a visit from J---- F---- the other day, and she stayed an + hour, talking very pleasantly, and a little after your fashion; for + she propounded the influence of matter over mind and the + impossibility of preserving a sound and vigorous spirit in a weak + and suffering body. I am blessed with such robust health that my + moral shortcomings, however anxious I may be to refer them to + side-ache, toothache, or any other ache, I am afraid deserve small + mercy on the score of physical infirmity; but she, poor thing, I am + sorry to say, suffers much and often from ill health, and + complained, with evident experience, of the difficulty of + preserving a cheerful spirit and an even temper in the dreary + atmosphere of a sick-room. + + When she was gone I set to work with "Francis I.," and corrected + all the errors in the meter which Mr. Milman had had the kindness + to point out to me. I then went over Beatrice with my mother, who + takes infinite pains with me and seems to think I profit. She went + to the play with Mrs. Fitzgerald and Mrs. Edward Romilly, who is a + daughter of Mrs. Marcet, and, owing to A----'s detestation of that + learned lady's elementary book on natural philosophy, I was very + desirous they should not meet one another, though certainly, if any + of Mrs. Marcet's works are dry and dull, it is not this charming + daughter of hers. + + But A---- was rabid against "Nat. Phil.," as she ignominiously + nick-named Mrs. Marcet's work on natural philosophy, and so I + brought her to the theater with me; and she stayed in my + dressing-room when I was there, and in my aunt Siddons's little box + when I was acting, as you used to do; but she sang all the while + she was with me, and though I made no sign, it gave me the nervous + fidgets to such a degree that I almost forgot my part. In spite of + which I acted better, for my mother said so; and there is some hope + that by the time the play is withdrawn I shall not play Beatrice + "like the chief mourner at a funeral," which is what she benignly + compares my performance of the part to. + + The alteration in my gowns met with her entire approbation--I mean + the taking away of the plaits from round the waist--and my aunt + Dall pronounced it an immense improvement and wished you could see + it. + + Lady Dacre and her daughter, Mrs. Sullivan, and Mr. James Wortley + were in the orchestra, and came after the play to supper with us, + as did Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald, Mrs. Edward Romilly, and Mr. + Harness: a very pleasant party, for the ladies are all clever and + charming, and got on admirably together. + + It is right, as you are a shareholder in that valuable property of + ours, Covent Garden, you should know that there was a very fine + house, though I cannot exactly tell you the amount of the receipts. + + I miss you dreadfully, my dear H----, and I do wish you could come + back to us when Dorothy has left you; but I know that cannot be, + and so I look forward to the summer time, the sunny time, the rosy + time, when I shall be with you again at Ardgillan. + + Yesterday, I read for the first time Joanna Baillie's "Count + Basil." I am not sure that the love she describes does not affect + me more even than Shakespeare's delineation of the passion in + "Romeo and Juliet." There is a nerveless despondency about it that + seems to me more intolerable than all the vivid palpitating anguish + of the tragedy of Verona; it is like dying of slow poison, or + malarial fever, compared with being shot or stabbed or even + bleeding to death, which is life pouring out from one, instead of + drying up in one's brains. I think the lines beginning-- + + "I have seen the last look of her heavenly eyes," + + some of the most poignantly pathetic I know. I afterward read over + again Mr. Procter's play; it is extremely well written, but I am + afraid it would not act as well as it reads. I believe I told you + that "Iñez de Castro" was finally given up. + + Sally and Lizzy Siddons came and sat with me for some time; they + seem well and cheerful. Their mother, they said, was not very well; + how should she be! though, indeed, regret would be selfish. Her son + is gone to fulfill his own wishes in pursuing the career for which + he was most fit; he will find in his uncle George Siddons's house + in Calcutta almost a second home. Sally, whom you know I respect + almost as much as love, said it was surprising how soon they had + learned to accept and become reconciled to their brother's + departure. Besides all our self-invoked aids of reason and + religion, nature's own provision for the need of our sorrows is + more bountiful and beneficent than we always perceive or + acknowledge. No one can go on living upon agony; we cannot grieve + for ever if we would, and our most strenuous efforts of + self-control derive help from the inevitable law of change, against + which we sometimes murmur and struggle as if it wronged our + consistency in sorrow and constancy in love. The tendency to _heal_ + is as universal as the liability to _smart_. You always speak of + change with a sort of vague horror that surprises me. Though all + things round us are for ever shifting and altering, and though we + ourselves vary and change, there is a supreme spirit of + steadfastness in the midst of this huge unrest, and an abiding, + unshaken, immovable principle of good guiding this vanishing world + of fluctuating atoms, in whose eternal permanence of nature we + largely participate, and our tendency toward and aspiration for + whose perfect stability is one of the very causes of the progress, + and therefore mutability, of our existence. Perhaps the most + painful of all the forms in which change confronts us is in the + increased infirmities and diminished graces which after long + absence we observe in those we love; the failure of power and + vitality in the outward frame, the lessened vividness of the + intellect we have admired, strike us with a sharp surprise of + distress, and it is startling to have revealed suddenly to us, in + the condition of others, how rapidly, powerfully, and unobservedly + time has been dealing with ourselves. But those who believe in + eternity should be able to accept time, and the ruin of the altar + from which the flame leaps up to heaven signifies little. + + My father and I went to visit Macdonald's collection of sculpture + to-day. I was very much pleased with some of the things; there are + some good colossal figures, and an exquisite statue of a kneeling + girl, that charmed me greatly; there are some excellent busts, too. + How wonderfully that irrevocable substance assumes the soft, round + forms of life! The color in its passionless purity (absence of + color, I suppose I should say) is really harder than the substance + itself of marble. I could not fall in love with a statue, as the + poor girl in Procter's poem did with the Apollo Belvidere, though I + think I could with a fine portrait: how could one fall in love with + what had no eyes! Was it not Thorwaldsen who said that the three + materials in which sculptors worked--clay, plaster, and + marble--were like life, death, and immortality? I thought my own + bust (the one Macdonald executed in Edinburgh, you know) very good; + the marble is beautiful, and I really think my friend did wonders + with his impracticable subject; the shape of the head and shoulders + is very pretty. I wonder what Sappho was like! An ugly woman, it is + said; I do not know upon what authority, unless her own; but I + wonder what kind of ugliness she enjoyed! Among other heads, we saw + one of Brougham's mother, a venerable and striking countenance, + very becoming the mother of the Chancellor of England. There was a + bust, too, of poor Mr. Huskisson, taken after death. I heard a + curious thing of him to-day: it seems that on the night before the + opening of the railroad, as he was sitting with some friends, he + said, "I cannot tell what ails me; I have a strange weight on my + spirits; I am sure something dreadful will happen to-morrow; I wish + it were over;" and that, when they recapitulated all the + precautions, and all the means that had been taken for security, + comfort, and pleasure, all he replied was, "I wish to God it were + over!" There is something awful in these stories of presentiments + that always impresses me deeply--this warning shadow, projected by + no perceptible object, falling darkly and chilly over one; this + indistinct whisper of destiny, of which one hears the sound, + without distinguishing the sense; this muffled tread of Fate + approaching us! + + Did you read Horace Twiss's speech on the Reform Bill? Every one + seems to think it was excellent, whether they agree with his + opinions and sentiments or not. I saw by the paper, to-day, that an + earthquake had been felt along the coast near Dover. A---- says the + world is coming to an end. We certainly live in strange times, but + for that matter so has everybody that ever lived. + +[In the admirable letter of Lord Macaulay to Mr. Ellis, describing the +division of the house on the second reading of the Reform Bill, given in +Mr. Trevelyan's life of his uncle, the great historian says Horace +Twiss's countenance at the liberal victory looked like that of a "damned +soul." If, instead of a lost soul, he had said poor Horace looked like a +_lost seat_, he would have been more accurate, if not as picturesque. +Mr. Twiss sat for one of Lord Clarendon's boroughs, and the passage of +the Reform Bill was sure to dismiss him from Parliament; a serious thing +in his future career, fortunes, and position.] + + I must now tell you what I do next week, that you may know where to + find me. Monday, the king goes to hear "Cinderella," and I have a + holiday and go with my mother to a party at Dr. Granville's. + Tuesday, I act Belvidera, and _afterward_ go to Lady Dacre's; I do + this because, as I fixed the day myself for her party, not + expecting to act that night, I cannot decently get off. Lady + Macdonald's dinner party is put off; so until Saturday, when I play + Beatrice, I shall spend my time in practicing, reading, writing + (_not_ arithmetic), walking, working cross-stitch, and similar + young-ladyisms. + + Good-by, my dear H----. Give my love to Dorothy, if she will take + it; if not, put it to your own share. I think this letter deserves + a long answer. Mrs. Norton, Chantrey, and Barry Cornwall have come + in while I have been finishing this letter; does not that sound + pretty and pleasant? and don't you envy us some of our + _privileges?_ My mother has been seeing P----'s picture of my + father in Macbeth this morning, and you never heard anything + funnier than her rage at it: "A fat, red, round, staring, _pudsy_ + thing! the eyes no more like his than mine are!" (certainly, no + human eyes could be more dissimilar); "and then, his jaw!--bless my + soul, how could he miss it! the Kemble jawbone! Why, it was as + notorious as Samson's!" Good-by. Your affectionate + + FANNY. + +Lady Eleanor Butler and Miss Ponsonby, the famous friends of Llangollen, +kept during the whole life they spent together under such peculiar +circumstances a daily diary, so minute as to include the mention not +only of every one they saw (and it must be remembered that their +hermitage was a place of fashionable pilgrimage, as well as a hospitable +refuge), but also _what they had for dinner every day_--so I have been +told. + +The little box on the stage I have alluded to in this letter as Mrs. +Siddons's was a small recess opposite the prompter's box, and of much +the same proportions, that my father had fitted up for the especial +convenience of my aunt Siddons whenever she chose to honor my +performances with her presence. She came to it several times, but the +draughts in crossing the stage were bad, and the exertion and excitement +too much for her, and her life was not prolonged much after my coming +upon the stage. + +Lord and Lady Dacre were among my kindest friends. With Lady Dacre I +corresponded from the beginning of our acquaintance until her death, +which took place at a very advanced age. She was strikingly handsome, +with a magnificent figure and great vivacity and charm of manner and +conversation. Her accomplishments were various, and all of so masterly +an excellence that her performances would have borne comparison with the +best works of professional artists. She drew admirably, especially +animals, of which she was extremely fond. I have seen drawings of groups +of cattle by her that, without the advantage of color, recall the life +and spirit of Rosa Bonheur's pictures. She was a perfect Italian +scholar, having studied enthusiastically that divine tongue with the +enthusiast Ugo Foscolo, whose patriotic exile and misfortunes were +cheered and soothed by the admiring friendship and cordial kindness of +Lord and Lady Dacre. Among all the specimens of translation with which I +am acquainted, her English version of Petrarch's sonnets is one of the +most remarkable for fidelity, beauty, and the grace and sweetness with +which she has achieved the difficult feat of following in English the +precise form of the complicated and peculiar Italian prosody. These +translations seem to me as nearly perfect as that species of literature +can be. But the most striking demonstrations of her genius were the +groups of horses which Lady Dacre modeled from nature, and which, copied +and multiplied in plaster casts, have been long familiar to the public, +without many of those who know and admire them being aware who was their +author. It is hardly possible to see anything more graceful and +spirited, truer at once to nature and the finest art, than these +compositions, faithful in the minutest details of execution, and highly +poetical in their entire conception. Lady Dacre was the finest female +rider and driver in England; that is saying, in the world. Had she lived +in Italy in the sixteenth century her name would be among the noted +names of that great artistic era; but as she was an Englishwoman of the +nineteenth, in spite of her intellectual culture and accomplishments she +was _only_ an exceedingly clever, amiable, kind lady of fashionable +London society. + +Of Lord Dacre it is not easy to speak with all the praise which he +deserved. He inherited his title from his mother, who had married Mr. +Brand of the Hoo, Hertfordshire, and at the moment of his becoming heir +to that estate was on the point of leaving England with Colonel Talbot, +son of Lord Talbot de Malahide, to found with him a colony in British +Canada, where Arcadia was to revive again, at a distance from all the +depraved and degraded social systems of Europe, under the auspices of +these two enthusiastic young reformers. Mr. Brand had completed his +studies in Germany, and acquired, by assiduous reading and intimate +personal acquaintance with the most enlightened and profound thinkers of +the philosophical school of which Kant was the apostle, a mental +cultivation very unlike, in its depth and direction, the usual +intellectual culture of young Englishmen of his class. + +He was an enthusiast of the most generous description, in love with +liberty and ardent for progress; the political as well as the social and +intellectual systems of Europe appeared to him, in his youthful zeal for +the improvement of his fellow-beings, belated if not benighted on the +road to it, and he had embraced with the most ardent hopes and purposes +the scheme of emigration of Colonel Talbot, for forming in the New World +a colony where all the errors of the Old were to be avoided. But his +mother died, and the young emigrant withdrew his foot from the deck of +the Canadian ship to take his place in the British peerage, to bear an +ancient English title and become master of an old English estate, to +marry a brilliant woman of English fashionable society, and be +thenceforth the ideal of an English country gentleman, that most +enviable of mortals, as far as outward circumstance and position can +make a man so. + +His serious early German studies had elevated and enlarged his mind far +beyond the usual level and scope of the English country gentleman's +brain, and freed him from the peculiarly narrow class prejudices which +it harbors. He was an enlightened liberal, not only in politics but in +every domain of human thought; he was a great reader, with a wide range +of foreign as well as English literary knowledge. He had exquisite +taste, was a fine connoisseur and critic in matters of art, and was the +kindliest natured and mannered man alive. + +At his house in Hertfordshire, the Hoo, I used to meet Earl Grey; his +son, the present earl (then Lord Howick); Lord Melbourne; the Duke of +Bedford; Earl Russell (then Lord John), and Sidney and Bobus Smith--all +of them distinguished men, but few of them, I think, Lord Dacre's +superiors in mental power. Altogether the society that he and Lady Dacre +gathered round them was as delightful as it was intellectually +remarkable; it was composed of persons eminent for ability, and +influential members of a great world in which extraordinary capacity was +never an excuse for want of urbanity or the absence of the desire to +please; their intercourse was charming as well as profoundly interesting +to me. + +During a conversation I once had with Lady Dacre about her husband, she +gave me the following extract from the writings of Madame Huber, the +celebrated Therëse Heyne, whose first husband, Johann Georg Forster, was +one of the delegates which sympathizing Mentz sent to Paris in 1793, to +solicit from the revolutionary government the favor of annexation to the +French republic. + +"In the year 1790 Forster had attached to himself and introduced in his +establishment a young Englishman, who came to Germany with the view of +studying the German philosophy [Kant's system] in its original language. +He was nearly connected with some of the leaders of the then opposition. +He was so noble, so simple, that each virtue seemed in him an instinct, +and so stoical in his views that he considered every noble action as the +victory of self-control, and never felt himself good enough. The friends +[Huber and Forster] who loved him with parental tenderness sometimes +repeated with reference to him the words of Shakespeare-- + + 'So wise, so young, they say, do ne'er live long.' + +But, thanks to fate, he has falsified that prophecy; the youth is grown +into manhood; he lives, unclaimed by any mere political party, with the +more valuable portion of his people, and satisfies himself with being a +good man so long as circumstances prevent him from acting in his sense +as a good citizen. Our daily intercourse with this youth enabled us to +combine a knowledge of English events with our participation in the +proceedings on the Continent. His patriotism moderated many of our +extreme views with regard to his country; his estimate of many +individuals, of whom from his position he possessed accurate knowledge, +decided many a disputed point amongst us; and the tenderness which we +all felt for this beloved and valued friend tended to produce justice +and moderation in all our conflicts of opinion."[A] + +[A] Sketch of Lord Dacre's character by Madame Huber. + +Lady Dacre had had by her first marriage, to Mr. Wilmot, an only child, +the Mrs. Sullivan I have mentioned in this letter, wife of the Reverend +Frederick Sullivan, Vicar of Kimpton. She was an excellent and most +agreeable person, who inherited her mother's literary and artistic +genius in a remarkable degree, though her different position and less +leisurely circumstances as wife of a country clergyman and mother of a +large family, devoted to the important duties of both callings, probably +prevented the full development and manifestation of her fine +intellectual gifts. She was a singularly modest and diffident person, +and this as well as her more serious avocations may have stood in the +way of her doing justice to her uncommon abilities, of which, however, +there is abundant evidence in her drawings and groups of modeled +figures, and in the five volumes of charming stories called "Tales of a +Chaperon," and "Tales of the Peerage and the Peasantry," which were not +published with her name but simply as edited by Lady Dacre, to whom +their authorship was, I think, generally attributed. The mental gifts of +Lady Dacre appear to be heirlooms, for they have been inherited for +three generations, and in each case by her female descendants. + +The gentleman who accompanied her to her house, on the evening I +referred to in my letter, was the Honorable James Stuart Wortley, +youngest son of the Earl of Wharncliffe, who was prevented by failure of +health alone from reaching the very highest honors of the legal +profession, in which he had already attained the rank of +solicitor-general, when his career was prematurely closed by disastrous +illness. At the time of my first acquaintance with him he was a very +clever and attractive young man, and though intended for a future Lord +Chancellor he condescended to sing sentimental songs very charmingly. + +Of my excellent and amiable friend, the Reverend William Harness, a +biography has been published which tells all there is to be told of his +uneventful life and career. Endowed with a handsome face and sweet +countenance and very fine voice, he was at one time a fashionable London +preacher, a vocation not incompatible, when he exercised it, with a +great admiration for the drama. He was an enthusiastic frequenter of the +theater, published a valuable edition of Shakespeare, and wrote two +plays in blank verse which had considerable merit; but his pre-eminent +gift was goodness, in which I have known few people who surpassed him. +Objecting from conscientious motives to hold more than one living, he +received from his friend, Lord Lansdowne, an appointment in the Home +Office, the duties of which did not interfere with those of his clerical +profession. He was of a delightfully sunny, cheerful temper, and very +fond of society, mixing in the best that London afforded, and frequently +receiving with cordial hospitality some of its most distinguished +members in his small, modest residence. He was a devoted friend of my +family, had an ardent admiration for my aunt Siddons, and honored me +with a kind and constant regard. + +Miss Joanna Baillie was a great friend of Mrs. Siddons's, and wrote +expressly for her the part of Jane de Montfort, in her play of "De +Montfort." My father and mother had the honor of her acquaintance, and I +went more than once to pay my respects to her at the cottage in +Hampstead where she passed the last years of her life. + +The peculiar plan upon which she wrote her fine plays, making each of +them illustrate a single passion, was in great measure the cause of +their unfitness for the stage. "De Montfort," which has always been +considered the most dramatic of them, had only a very partial success, +in spite of its very great poetical merit and considerable power of +passion, and the favorable circumstance that the two principal +characters in it were represented by the eminent actors for whom the +authoress originally designed them. In fact, though Joanna Baillie +selected and preferred the dramatic form for her poetical compositions, +they are wanting in the real dramatic element, resemblance to life and +human nature, and are infinitely finer as poems than plays. + +But the desire and ambition of her life had been to write for the stage, +and the reputation she achieved as a poet did not reconcile her to her +failure as a dramatist. I remember old Mr. Sotheby, the poet (I add this +title to his name, though his title to it was by some esteemed but +slender), telling me of a visit he had once paid her, when, calling him +into her little kitchen (she was not rich, kept few servants, and did +not disdain sometimes to make her own pies and puddings), she bade him, +as she was up to the elbows in flour and paste, draw from her pocket a +paper; it was a play-bill, sent to her by some friend in the country, +setting forth that some obscure provincial company was about to perform +Miss Joanna Baillie's celebrated tragedy of "De Montfort." "There," +exclaimed the culinary Melpomene, "there, Sotheby, I am so happy! You +see my plays can be acted somewhere!" Well, too, do I remember the tone +of half-regretful congratulation in which she said to me, "Oh, you lucky +girl--you lucky girl; you are going to have your play acted!" This was +"Francis I.," the production of which on the stage was a bitter +annoyance to me, to prevent which I would have given anything I +possessed, but which made me (vexed and unhappy though I was at the +circumstance on which I was being congratulated) an object of positive +envy to the distinguished authoress and kind old lady. + +In order to steer clear of the passion of revenge, which is in fact +hatred proceeding from a sense of injury, Miss Joanna Baillie in her +fine tragedy of "De Montfort" has inevitably made the subject of it an +_antipathy_--that is, an instinctive, unreasoning, partly physical +antagonism, producing abhorrence and detestation the most intense, +without any adequate motive; and the secret of the failure of her noble +play on the stage is precisely that this is not (fortunately) a natural +passion common to the majority of human beings (which hatred that _has_ +a motive undoubtedly is, in a greater or less degree), but an abnormal +element in exceptionally morbid natures, and therefore a sentiment (or +sensation) with which no great number of people or large proportion of a +public audience can sympathize or even understand. Intense and causeless +hatred is one of the commonest indications of insanity, and, alas! one +that too often exhibits itself toward those who have been objects of the +tenderest love; but De Montfort is not insane, and his loathing is +unaccountable to healthy minds upon any other plea, and can find no +comprehension in audiences quite prepared to understand, if not to +sympathize with, the vindictive malignity of Shylock and the savage +ferocity of Zanga. Goethe, in his grand play of "Tasso," gives the poet +this morbid detestation of the accomplished courtier and man of the +world, Antonio; but then, Tasso is represented as on the very verge of +that madness into the dark abyss of which he subsequently sinks. + +Shakespeare's treatment of the passion of hatred, in "The Merchant of +Venice," is worthy of all admiration for the profound insight with which +he has discriminated between that form of it which all men comprehend, +and can sympathize with, and that which, being really nothing but +diseased idiosyncrasy, appears to the majority of healthy minds a mere +form of madness. + +In his first introduction to us the Jew accounts for his detestation of +Antonio upon three very comprehensible grounds: national race hatred, in +feeling and exciting which the Jews have been quite a "peculiar people" +from the earliest records of history; personal injury in the defeat of +his usurious prospects of gain; and personal insult in the unmanly +treatment to which Antonio had subjected him. However excessive in +degree, his hatred is undoubtedly shown to have a perfectly +comprehensible, if not adequate cause and nature, and is a _reasonable_ +hatred, except from such a moral point of view as allows of none. + +An audience can therefore tolerate him with mitigated disgust through +the opening portions of the play. When, however, in the grand climax of +the trial scene Shakespeare intends that he shall be no longer tolerated +or tolerable, but condemned alike by his Venetian judges and his English +audience, he carefully avoids putting into his mouth any one of the +reasons with which in the opening of the play he explains and justifies +his hatred. He does not make him quote the centuries-old Hebrew scorn of +and aversion to the Gentiles, nor the merchant's interference with his +commercial speculations, nor the man's unprovoked spitting at, spurning, +and abuse of him; but he will and _can_ give _no_ reason for his +abhorrence of Antonio, whom he says he _loathes_ with the inexplicable +revulsion of nature that certain men feel toward certain animals; and +the mastery of the poet shows itself in thus making Shylock's cruelty +monstrous, and accounting for it as an abnormal monstrosity. + +Hatred that has a reasonable cause may cease with its removal. Supposing +Antonio to have become a converted Jew, or to have withdrawn all +opposition to Shylock's usury and compensated him largely for the losses +he had caused him by it, and to have expressed publicly, with the utmost +humility, contrition for his former insults and sincere promises of +future honor, respect, and reverence, it is possible to imagine Shylock +relenting in a hatred of which the reasons he assigned for it no longer +existed. But from the moment he says he has _no_ reason for his hatred +other than the insuperable disgust and innate enmity of an antagonistic +nature--the deadly, sickening, physical loathing that in rare instances +affects certain human beings toward others of their species, and toward +certain animals--then there are no calculable bounds to the ferocity of +such a blind instinct, no possibility of mitigating, by considerations +of reflection or feeling, an inherent, integral element of a morbid +organization. And Shakespeare, in giving this aspect to the last +exhibition of Shylock's vindictiveness, cancels the original appeal to +possible sympathy for his previous wrongs, and presents him as a +dangerous maniac or wild beast, from whose fury no one is safe, and whom +it is every one's interest to strike down; so that at the miserable +Jew's final defeat the whole audience gasps with a sense of unspeakable +relief. Perhaps, too, the master meant to show--at any rate he has +shown--that the deadly sin of hatred, indulged even with a cause, ends +in the dire disease of causeless hate and the rabid frenzy of a maniac. + +It has sometimes been objected to this wonderful scene that Portia's +reticence and delay in relieving Antonio and her husband from their +suspense is unnatural. But Portia is a very _superior woman_, able to +control not only her own palpitating sympathy with their anguish, but +her impatient yearning to put an end to it, till she has made ever +effort to redeem the wretch whose hardness of heart fills her with +incredulous amazement--a heavenly instinct akin to the divine love that +desires not that a sinner should perish, which enables her to postpone +her own relief and that of those precious to her till she has exhausted +endeavor to soften Shylock; and Shakespeare thus not only justifies the +stern severity of her ultimate sentence on him, but shows her endowed +with the highest powers of self-command, and patient, long-suffering +with evil; her teasing her husband half to death afterward restores the +balance of her humanity, which was sinking heavily toward perfection. + +Bryan Waller Procter, dear Barry Cornwall--beloved by all who knew him, +even his fellow-poets, for his sweet, gentle disposition--had married +(as I have said elsewhere) Anne Skepper, the daughter of our friend, +Mrs. Basil Montague. They were among our most intimate and friendly +acquaintance. Their house was the resort of all the choice spirits of +the London society of their day, her pungent epigrams and brilliant +sallies making the most delightful contrast imaginable to the cordial +kindness of his conversation and the affectionate tenderness of his +manner; she was like a fresh lemon--golden, fragrant, firm, and +wholesome--and he was like the honey of Hymettus; they were an +incomparable compound. + +The play which I spoke of as his, in my last letter, was Ford's "White +Devil," of which the notorious Vittoria Corrombona, Duchess of +Bracciano, is the heroine. The powerful but coarse treatment of the +Italian story by the Elizabethan playwright has been chastened into +something more adapted to modern taste by Barry Cornwall; but, even with +his kindred power and skillful handling, the work of the early master +retained too rough a flavor for the public palate of our day, and very +reluctantly the project of bringing it out was abandoned. + +The tragical story of Vittoria Corrombona, eminently tragical in that +age of dramatic lives and deaths, has furnished not only the subject of +this fine play of Ford's, but that of a magnificent historical novel, by +the great German writer, Tieck, in which it is difficult to say which +predominates, the intense interest of the heroine's individual career, +or that created by the splendid delineation of the whole state of Italy +at that period--the days of the grand old Sixtus the Fifth in Rome, and +of the contemporary Medici in Florence; it is altogether a masterpiece +by a great master. Superior in tragic horror, because unrelieved by the +general picture of contemporaneous events, but quite inferior as a work +of imagination, is the comparatively short sketch of Vittoria +Corrombona's life and death contained in a collection of Italian stories +called "Crimes Célèbres," by Stendal, where it keeps company with other +tragedies of private life, which during the same century occupied with +their atrocious details the tribunals of justice in Rome. Among the +collection is the story from which Mr. Fechter's melodrama of "Bel +Demonio" was taken, the story of the Cenci, and the story of a certain +Duchess of Pagliano, all of them inconceivably horrible and revolting. + +About the same time that this play of Barry Cornwall's was given up, a +long negotiation between Miss Mitford and the management of Covent +Garden came to a conclusion by her withdrawal of her play of "Iñez de +Castro," a tragedy founded upon one of the most romantic and picturesque +incidents in the Spanish chronicle. After much uncertainty and many +difficulties, the project of bringing it out was abandoned. I remember +thinking I could do nothing with the part of the heroine, whose corpse +is produced in the last act, seated on the throne and receiving the +homage of the subjects of her husband, Pedro the Cruel--a very ghastly +incident in the story, which I think would in itself have endangered the +success of the play. My despondency about the part of Inez had nothing +to do with the possible effect of this situation, however, but was my +invariable impression with regard to every new part that was assigned to +me on first reading it. But I am sure Miss Mitford had no cause to +regret that I had not undertaken this; the success of her play in my +hands ran a risk such as her fine play of "Rienzi," in those of Mr. +Young or Mr. Macready, could never have incurred; and it was well for +her that to their delineation of her Roman tribune, and not mine of her +Aragonese lady, her reputation with the public as a dramatic writer was +confided. + +I have mentioned in this last letter a morning visit from Chantrey, the +eminent sculptor, who was among our frequenter. His appearance and +manners were simple and almost rustic, and he was shy and silent in +society, all which may have been results of his obscure birth and early +want of education. It was to Sir Francis Chantrey that my father's +friends applied for the design of the beautiful silver vase which they +presented to him at the end of his professional career. The sculptor's +idea seemed to me a very happy and appropriate one, and the design was +admirably executed; it consisted of a simple and elegant figure of +Hamlet on the cover of the vase, and round it, in fine relief, the +"Seven Ages of Man," from Jacques's speech in "As You Like It;" the +whole work was very beautiful, and has a double interest for me, as that +not only of an eminent artist, but a kind friend of my father's. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 7, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + With regard to change as we contemplate it when parting from those + we love, I confess I should shrink from the idea of years + intervening before you and I met again; not that I apprehend any + diminution of our affection, but it would be painful to be no + longer young, or to have grown _suddenly_ old to each other. But I + hope this will not be so; I hope we may go on meeting often enough + for that change which is inevitable to be long imperceptible; I + hope we may be allowed to go on _wondering_ together, till we meet + where you will certainly be happy, if wonder is for once joined to + _knowledge_. I remember my aunt Whitelock saying that when she went + to America she left my father a toddling thing that she used to + dandle and carry about; and the first time she saw him after her + return, he had a baby of his own in his arms. That sort of thing + makes one's heart jump into one's mouth with dismay; it seems as if + all the time one had been _living away_, unconsciously, was thrown + in a lump at one's head. + + J---- F---- told me on Thursday that her sister, whose wedding-day + seemed to be about yesterday, was the mother of four children; she + has lost no time, it is true, but my "yesterday" must be five years + old. After dinner, yesterday, I wrote a new last scene to "Francis + I." I mean to send it to Murray. + + A---- says you seem younger to her than I do; which, considering + your fourteen years' seniority over me, is curious; but the truth + is, though she does not know it, I am still _too young_; I have not + lived, experienced, and suffered enough to have acquired the + self-forgetfulness and gentle forbearance that make us good and + pleasant companions to our _youngers_. + + Henry and I are going together to the Zoological Gardens one of + these days; that lovely tigress hangs about my heart, and I must go + and see her again. Ever your affectionate + + F.A. KEMBLE. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 9, 1831. + MY DEAR H----, + + Why are you not here to kiss and congratulate me? I am so proud and + happy! Mr. Murray has given me four hundred and fifty pounds for my + play alone! the other things he does not wish to publish with it. + Only think of it--was there ever such publishing munificence! My + father has the face to say _it is not enough!_ but looks so proud + and pleased that his face alone shows it is _too much_ by a great + deal; my mother is enchanted, and I am so happy, so thankful for + this prosperous result of my work, so delighted at earning so much, + so surprised and charmed to think that what gave me nothing but + pleasure in the doing has brought me such an after-harvest of + profit; it is too good almost to be true, and yet it is true. + + But I am happy and have been much excited from another reason + to-day. Richard Trench, John's dear friend and companion, is just + returned from Spain, and came here this morning to see us. I sat + with him a long while. John is well and in good spirits. Mr. Trench + before leaving Gibraltar had used every persuasion to induce my + brother to return with him, and had even got him on board the + vessel in which they were to sail, but John's heart failed him at + the thought of forsaking Torrijos, and he went back. The account + Mr. Trench gives of their proceedings is much as I imagined them to + have been. They hired a house which they denominated Constitution + Hall, where they passed their time smoking and drinking ale, John + holding forth upon German metaphysics, which grew dense in + proportion as the tobacco fumes grew thick and his glass grew + empty. You know we had an alarm about their being taken prisoners, + which story originated thus: they had agreed with the + constitutionalists in Algeciras that on a certain day the latter + were to _get rid_ of their officers (murder them civilly, I + suppose), and then light beacons on the heights, at which signal + Torrijos and his companions, among them our party who were lying + armed on board a schooner in the bay, were to make good their + landing. The English authorities at Gibraltar, however, had note of + this, and while they lay watching for the signal they were boarded + by one of the Government ships and taken prisoners. The number of + English soldiers in whose custody they found themselves being, + however, inferior to their own, they agreed that if the beacons + made their appearance they would turn upon their guards and either + imprison or kill them. But the beacons were never lighted; their + Spanish fellow-revolutionists broke faith with them, and they + remained ingloriously on board until next day, when they were + ignominiously suffered to go quietly on shore again. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 8, 1831. + + I am going to be very busy signing my name; my benefit is fixed for + the 21st; I do not yet know what the play is to be. Our young, + unsuccessful playwright, Mr. Wade, whom I like very much (he took + his damnation as bravely as Capaneo), and Macdonald, the sculptor, + dined with us on Sunday. On Monday I went to the library of the + British Museum to consult Du Bellay's history for my new version of + the last scene of "Francis I." I looked at some delightful books, + and among others, a very old and fine MS. of the "Roman de la + Rose," beautifully illuminated; also all the armorial bearings, + shields, banners, etc., of the barons of King John's time, the + barons of Runnymede and the Charter, most exquisitely and minutely + copied from monuments, stained glass, brass effigies, etc.; it was + a fine work, beautifully executed for the late king, George IV. I + wish it had been executed for me. I did get A---- to walk in the + square with me once, but she likes it even less than I do; my + intellectual conversation is no equivalent for the shop-windows of + Regent Street and the counters of the bazaar, and she has gone out + with my aunt every day since, "leaving the square to solitude and + me;" so I take my book with me (I can read walking at my quickest + pace), and like to do so. + + Tuesday evening I played Belvidera. I was quite nervous at acting + it again after so long a period. After the play my father and I + went to Lady Dacre's and had a pleasant party enough. Mrs. Norton + was there, more entertaining and blinding beautiful than ever. + Henry desired me to give her his "desperate love," to which she + replied by sending the poor youth her "deadly scorn." Lord + Melbourne desired to be introduced to me, and I think if he likes, + he shall be the decrepit old nobleman you are so afraid of me + marrying. I was charmed with his face, voice, and manner; we dine + with him next Wednesday week, and I will write you word if the + impression deepens. + + My dear H----, only imagine my dismay; my father told me that after + Easter I should have to play Lady Macbeth! It is no use thinking + about it, for that only frightens me more; but, looking at it as + calmly and reasonably as possible, surely it is too great an + undertaking for so young a person as myself. Perhaps I may play it + better than most girls of my age would; what will that amount to? + That towering, tremendous woman, what a trial of courage and + composure for me! If you were a good friend, now, you would come up + to town "for that occasion only," and sustain me with your + presence. + + The beautiful Miss Bayley is at length married to William Ashley + [the present Earl of Shaftesbury], and everybody is rejoicing with + them or for them; it is pleasant to catch glimpses of fresh shade + and flowers as one goes along the dusty highroad of life. + + I must now tell you what I am going to do, that you may know where + to find me: to-morrow, I go to a private morning concert with my + mother; in the evening, I act Beatrice, and after the play all + sorts of people are coming here to supper. On Monday, I act Fazio; + Wednesday, we dine at Lady Macdonald's; Thursday, I act Mrs. + Haller; and Saturday, Beatrice again. I have not an idea what will + be done for my benefit; we are all devising and proposing. I myself + want them to bring out Massinger's "Maid of Honor;" I think it + beautiful. + + Now, dear H----, I must leave off, and sign my tickets. We all send + our loves to you: my mother tells me not to let you forget her; she + says she is afraid you class her with Mrs. John Kemble. If ever + there were two dissimilar human beings, it is those two. Ever your + affectionate + + FANNY. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 13, 1831. + DEAR H----, + + I received your letter yesterday, and must exult in my + self-command, for Mrs. Jameson was with me, and I did not touch it + till she was gone. Thank you first of all for Spenser; that _is_ + poetry! I was much benefited as well as delighted by it. + Considering the power of poetry to raise one's mind and soul into + the noblest moods, I do not think it is held in sufficient + reverence nowadays; the bards of old were greater people in their + society than our modern ones are; to be sure, modern poetry is not + all of a purely elevating character, and poets are _paid_, besides + being asked out to dinner, which the bards always were. I think the + tone of a good deal of Campbell's "Pleasures of Hope" very noble, + and some of Mrs. Hemans's things are very beautiful in sentiment as + well as expression. But then, all that order of writing is so + feeble compared with the poetry of our old masters, who do not so + much appeal to our feelings as to our reason and imagination + combined. I do not believe that to be sublime is in the power of a + woman, any more than to be logical; and Mrs. Hemans, who is + neither, writes charmingly, and one loves her as a Christian woman + even more than one admires her as a writer. + + Yes, it is very charming that the dove, the favorite type of + gentleness and tenderness and "harmlessness," should have such a + swift and vigorous power of flight; _suaviter--fortiter_, a good + combination. + + We are having the most tempestuous weather; A---- is horribly + frightened, and I am rather awed. I got the encyclopædia to-night + to study the cause of the equinoctial gales, which I thought we + should both be the better for knowing, but could find nothing about + them; can you tell me of any book or treatise upon this subject? + + My dear H----, shut your eyes while you read this, because if you + don't, they'll never shut again. Constance is what I am to play for + my benefit. I am horribly frightened; it is a cruel weight to lay + upon my shoulders: however, there is nothing for it but doing my + best, and leaving the rest to fate. I almost think now I could do + Lady Macbeth better. I am like poor little Arthur, who begged to + have his tongue cut off rather than have his eyes put out; that + last scene of Constance--think what an actress one should be to do + it justice! Pray for me. + + And so the Poles are crushed! what a piteous horror! Will there + never come a day of retribution for this! + + Mrs. Jameson came and sat with me some time yesterday evening, and + read me a good deal of her work on Shakespeare's female characters; + they are very pleasing sketches--outlines--but her criticism and + analysis are rather graceful than profound or powerful. Tuesday + next my mother and I spend the evening with her; Wednesday, we dine + at Sir John Macdonald's; Thursday, I act Mrs. Haller; Friday, we + have an evening party at home; Saturday, I play Beatrice; Monday, + Constance (come up for it!); Tuesday, we dine with Lord Melbourne; + and this is as much of the book of fate as is unrolled to me at + present. + + Mrs. Harry came here to-day; it is the first time I have seen her + this month; she is looking wretchedly, and talks of returning to + Edinburgh. My first feeling at hearing this was joy that I shall + not go there and find the face and voice for ever associated with + Edinburgh in my heart away from it. But I am not really glad, for + it is the failure of some plan of hers which obliges her to do + this. I have the loves of all to give you, and they are all very + troublesome, crying, "Give mine separately," "Don't lump mine;" so + please take them each separately and singly. I have been sobbing my + heart out over Constance this morning, and act Fazio to-night, + which is hard work. + + Your affectionate + + F. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, Saturday, March 19th. + DEAR H----, + + You ask if Mr. Trench's account of their Spanish escapade is likely + to soften my father's view of the folly of the expedition. I think + not, by any means--as how should it? But the yesterday papers + reported a successful attack upon Cadiz and the proclamation of + Torrijos general-in-chief by the Constitutionalists, who were + rising all over the country. This has been again contradicted + to-day, and may have been a mere stock-jobbing story, after all. If + it be true, however, the results may be of serious importance to my + brother. Should the Constitutionalists get the upper hand, his + adherence to Torrijos may place him in a prominent position, I am + afraid; perhaps, however, though success may not alter my father's + opinion of the original folly of John's undertaking, it may in some + measure reconcile him to it. I suppose it is not impossible now + that John should become an officer in the Spanish army, and that + after so many various and contradictory plans his career may + finally be that of a soldier. How strange and sad it all seems to + me, to be sure! + + You say it's a horrid thing one can't "try on one's body" and + choose such a one as would suit one; but do you consider your body + accidental, as it were, or do you really think we could do better + for ourselves than has been done for us in this matter? After all, + our souls get used to our bodies, and in some fashion alter and + shape them to fit; then you know if we had different bodies we + should be different people and not our _same selves_ at all; if I + had been tall, as I confess I in my heart of hearts wish I were, + what another moral creature should I have been. + + You urge me to work, dear H----, and study my profession, and were + I to say I hate it, you would retort, "You do it, therefore take + pains to do it well." And so I do, as well as I can; I have been + studying Constance with my father, and rubbed off some of the rough + edges of it a little. + + I am sorry to say I shall not have a good benefit; unluckily, the + second reading of the Reform Bill comes on to-morrow (to-night, by + the bye, for it is Monday), and there will be as many people in the + House of Commons as in _my_ house, and many more in Parliament + Street than in either; it is unfortunate for me, but cannot be + helped. I was going to say, pray for me, but I forgot that you will + not get this till "it is bedtime, Hal, and all is well." The + publication of my play is not to take place till after this Reform + fever has a little abated. + + Dear H----, this is Wednesday, the 23rd; Monday and King John and + my Constance are all over; but I am at this moment still so _deaf + with nervousness_ as not to hear the ticking of my watch when held + to one of my ears; the other side of my head is not deaf any longer + _now_; but on Monday night I hardly heard one word I uttered + through the whole play. It is rather hard that having endeavored + (and succeeded wonderfully, too) in possessing my soul in peace + during that trial of my courage, my nervous system should give way + in this fashion. I had a knife of pain sticking in my side all + through the play and all day long, Monday; as I did not hear myself + speak, I cannot tell you anything of my performance. My dress was + of the finest pale-blue merino, all folds and drapery like my + Grecian Daughter costume, with an immense crimson mantle hung on my + shoulders which I could hardly carry. My head-dress was exactly + copied from one of my aunt's, and you cannot imagine how curiously + like her I looked. My mother says, "You have done it better than I + believe any other girl of your age would do it." But of course that + is not a representation of Constance to satisfy her, or any one + else, indeed. You know, dear H----, what my own feeling has been + about this, and how utterly incapable I knew myself for such an + undertaking; but you did not, nor could any one, know how + dreadfully I suffered from the apprehension of failure which my + reason told me was well founded. I assure you that when I came on + the stage I felt like some hunted creature driven to bay; I was + really half wild with terror. The play went off admirably, but I + lay, when my part was over, for an hour on my dressing-room floor, + with only strength enough left to cry. Your letter to A---- revived + me, and just brought me enough to life again to eat my supper, + which I had not felt able to touch, in spite of my exhaustion and + great need of it; when, however, I once began, my appetite + justified the French proverb and took the turn of voracity, and I + devoured like a Homeric hero. I promised to tell you something of + our late dinner at Lord Melbourne's, but have left myself neither + space nor time. It was very pleasant, and I fell out of my love for + our host (who, moreover, is absorbed by Mrs. Norton) and into + another love with Lord O----, Lord T----'s son, who is one of the + most beautiful creatures of the male sex I ever saw; unluckily, he + does not fulfill the necessary conditions of your theory, and is + neither as old nor as decrepit as you have settled the nobleman I + am to marry is to be; so he won't do. + + We are going to a party at Devonshire House to-night. Here I am + called away to receive some visitors. Pray write soon to your + affectionate + + FANNY. + + To-morrow I act Constance, and Saturday Isabella, which is all I + know for the present of the future. I have just bought A---- a + beautiful guitar; I promised her one as soon as my play was out. My + room is delicious with violets, and my new blue velvet gown + heavenly in color and all other respects except the--well, + _un_heavenly price Dévy makes me pay for it. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, April 2, 1831. + DEAR H----, + + I am truly sorry for M----'s illness, just at the height of all her + gay season gayeties, too; it is too provoking to have one's tackle + out of order and lie on the beach with such a summer sea sparkling + before one. I congratulate L---- on her father's relenting and + canceling his edict against waltzing and galloping. And yet, I am + always _rather_ sorry when a determination of that sort, firmly + expressed, is departed from. Of course our views and opinions, not + being infallible, are liable to change, and may not unreasonably be + altered or weakened by circumstances and the more enlightened + convictions of improved powers and enlarged experience, but it is + as well, therefore, for our own sakes, not to promulgate them as if + they were Persian decrees. One can step gracefully down from a + lesser height, where one would fall from a greater. But with young + people generally, I think, to retreat from a position you have + assumed is to run the risk of losing some of their consideration + and respect; for they have neither consciousness of their own + frailty, nor charity for the frailty of others, nor the wisdom to + perceive that a resolution may be better broken than kept; and + though perhaps themselves gaining some desired end by the yielding + of their elders, I believe any indulgence so granted (that is, + after being emphatically denied) never fails to leave on the + youthful mind an impression of want of judgment or determination in + those they have to do with. + + We dine with the Fitzhughs on Tuesday week; I like Emily much, + though she will talk of human souls as "vile;" I gave her Channing + to read, and she liked it very much, but said that his view of + man's nature was not that of a Christian; I think her contempt for + it still less such. As we are immortal in spite of death, so I + think we are wonderful in spite of our weakness, and admirable in + spite of our imperfection, and capable of all good in spite of all + our evil. + + A----'s guitar is a beauty, and wears a broad blue scarf and has a + sweet, low, soft voice. Mr. Pickersgill is going to paint my + portrait; it is a present Major Dawkins makes my father and mother, + but I do wish they would leave off trying to take my picture. My + face is too bad for anything but nature, and never was intended for + _still_ life. The intention, however, is very kind, and the offer + one that can scarcely be refused. I wish you would come and keep me + awake through my sittings. + + Our engagements--social and professional--are a dinner party at the + Mayows to-morrow; an evening party on Monday; Tuesday, the opera; + Wednesday I act Isabella; Thursday, a dinner at Mr. Harness's; + Friday I act Bianca; Saturday we have a dinner party at home; the + Monday following I act Constance; Tuesday there is a dance at the + Fitzhughs'; and sundry dissipations looming in the horizon. + + Good-by, and God bless you, my dear H----. I look forward to our + meeting at Ardgillan, three months hence, with delight, and am + affectionately yours, + + F. A. K. + + A---- and I begin our riding lessons on Wednesday next. We have got + pretty dark-brown habits and red velvet waistcoats, and shall look + like two nice little robin-redbreasts on horseback; all I dread is + that she may be frightened to death, which might militate against + her enjoyment, perhaps. + + What you say about my brother John is very true; and though my + first care is for his life, my next is for his happiness, which I + believe more likely to be secured by his remaining in the midst of + action and excitement abroad, than in any steady pursuit at home. + My benefit was not as good as it ought to have been; it was not + sufficiently advertised, and it took place on the night of the + reading of the Reform Bill, which circumstance was exceedingly + injurious to it. + + To-day is John's birthday. I was in hopes it might not occur to my + mother, but she alluded to it yesterday. I was looking at that + little sketch of him in her room this morning, with a heavy heart. + His lot seems now cast indeed, and most strangely. I would give + anything to see him and hear his voice again, but I fear to wish + him back again among us. I am afraid that he would neither be happy + himself, nor make others so. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, 1831. + + It is a long time, dear H----, since I have written to you, and I + feel it so with self-reproach. To-day, except paying a round of + visits with my mother and acting this evening, I have nothing to + prevent my talking with you in tolerable peace and quiet--so here I + am. You have no idea what a quantity of "things to be done" has + been crowded into the last fortnight: studying Camiola, rehearsing + for two hours and a half every other day, riding for two hours at a + time, and sitting for my picture nearly as long, running from place + to place about my dresses, and now having Lady Teazle and Mrs. + Oakley to _get up_, immediately,--all this, with my nightly work or + nightly gayeties, makes an amount of occupation of one sort and + another that hardly leaves me time for thought. + + You will be glad to hear that "The Maid of Honor" was entirely + successful; that it will have a "great run," or bring much money to + the theater, I doubt. It is a _cold_ play, according to the present + taste of audiences, and there are undoubted defects in its + construction which in the fastidious judgment of our critics weigh + down its sterling beauties. + + It has done me great service, and to you I may say that I think it + the best thing I have acted. Indeed, I like my own performance of + it so well (which you know does not often happen to me), that I beg + you will make A---- tell you something about it. I was beautifully + dressed and looked very nice. + + We have heard nothing of John for some time now, and my mother has + ceased to express, if not to feel, anxiety about him, and seems + tranquil at present; but after all she has suffered on his account, + it is not, perhaps, surprising that she should subside into the + calm of mere exhaustion from that cruel over-excitement. + + Our appeal before the Lords, after having been put off once this + week, will, in consequence of the threatened dissolution of + Parliament, be deferred _sine die_, as the phrase is. Oh, what + weary work this is for those who are tremblingly waiting for a + result of vital importance to their whole fate and fortune! Thank + Heaven, I am liberally endowed with youth's peculiar power and + privilege of disregarding future sorrow, and unless under the + immediate pressure of calamity can keep the anticipation of it at + bay. My journal has become a mere catalogue of the names of people + I meet and places I go to. I have had no time latterly for anything + but the briefest possible registry of my daily doings. Mrs. Harry + Siddons has taken a lodging in this street, nearly opposite to us, + so that I have the happiness of seeing her rather oftener than I + have been able to do hitherto; the girls come over, too; and as we + have lately taken to acting charades and proverbs, we spend our + evenings very pleasantly together. + + We are going to get up a piece called "Napoleon." I do not mean my + cousins and ourselves, but that prosperous establishment, Covent + Garden Theatre. Think of Bonaparte being acted! It makes one grin + and shudder. + + I have been three or four times to Mr. Pickersgill, and generally + sit two hours at a time to him. I dare say he will make a nice + picture of me, but his anxiety that it should in no respect + resemble Sir Thomas Lawrence's drawing amuses me. I was in hopes + that when I had done with him I should not have to sit to anybody + for anything again. But I find I am to undergo that boredom for a + bust by Mr. Turnerelli. I wish I could impress upon all my artist + friends that my face is an inimitable original which nature never + intended should be copied. Pazienza! I must say, though, that I + grudge the time thus spent. I want to get on with my play, but I'm + afraid for the next three weeks that will be hopeless. + + To add to my occupations past, present, and to come, not having + enough of acting with my professional duties in that line, I am + going to take part in some private theatricals. Lord Francis + Leveson wants to get up his version of Victor Hugo's "Hernani," at + Bridgewater House, and has begged me, as a favor, to act the + heroine; all the rest are to be amateurs. I have consented to this, + not knowing well how to refuse, yet for one or two reasons I almost + think I had better not have done so. I expect to be excessively + amused by it, but it will take up a terrible deal of my time, for I + am sure they will need rehearsals without end. I do not know at all + what our summer plans are; but I believe we shall be acting in the + provinces till September, when if all things are quiet in Paris my + father proposes going over with me and one or two members of the + Covent Garden company, and playing there for a month or so. I think + I should like that. I fancy I should like acting to a French + audience; they are people of great intellectual refinement and + discrimination, and that is a pleasant quality in an audience. I + think my father seems inclined to take A---- with us and leave her + there. A musical education can nowhere better be obtained, and + under the care of Mrs. Foster, about whom I believe I wrote to you + once a long letter, there could be no anxiety about her welfare. + + I showed that part of your last letter which concerned my aunt Dall + to herself, because I knew it would please her, and so it did; and + she bids me tell you that she values your good-will and esteem + extremely, and should do still more if you did not _misbestow so + much of them on me_. + + Emily Fitzhugh sent me this morning a Seal with a pretty device, in + consequence of my saying that I thought it was pleasanter to lean + upon one's friends, morally, than to be leant upon by them--an oak + with ivy clinging to it and "Chiedo sostegno" for the motto. I do + not think I shall use it to many people, though. + + To-morrow Sheridan Knowles dines with us, to read a new play he has + written, in which I am to act. In the evening we go to Lady Cork's, + Sunday we have a dinner-party here, Monday I act Camiola, Tuesday + we go to Mrs. Harry's, Wednesday I act Camiola, and further I know + not. Good-by, dear; ever yours, + + F. A. K. + +The piece which I have referred to in this letter, calling itself +"Bonaparte," was a sensational melodrama upon the fate and fortunes of +the great emperor, beginning with his first exploits as a young +artillery officer, himself pointing and firing the cannon at Toulon, to +the last dreary agony of the heart-broken exile of St. Helena. It was +well put upon the stage, and presented a series of historical pictures +of considerable interest and effect, not a little of which was due to +the great resemblance of Mr. Warde, who filled the principal part, to +the portraits of Napoleon. He had himself, I believe, been in the army, +and left it under the influence of a passion for the stage, which his +dramatic ability hardly justified; for though he was a very respectable +actor, he had no genius whatever, and never rose above irreproachable +mediocrity. But his military training and his peculiar likeness to +Bonaparte helped him to make his part in this piece very striking and +effective, though it was not in itself the merest peg to hang +"situations" on. + +I was at this time sitting for my picture to Mr. Pickersgill, with whose +portrait of my father in the part of Macbeth I have mentioned my +mother's comically expressed dissatisfaction. Our kind friend, Major +Dawkins, wished to give my father and mother a good portrait of me, and +suggested Mr. Pickersgill, a very eminent portrait-painter, as the +artist who would be likely to execute it most satisfactorily. Mr. +Pickersgill, himself, seemed very desirous to undertake it, and greatly +as my sittings interfered with my leisure, of which I had but little, it +was impossible under the circumstances that I should refuse, especially +as he represented that if he succeeded, as he hoped to do, his painting +me would be an advantage to him; portraits of public exhibitors being of +course recognizable by the public, and, if good, serving the purpose of +advertisements. Unluckily, Mrs. Jameson proposed accompanying me, in +order to lighten by her very agreeable conversation the tedium of the +process. Her intimate acquaintance with my face, with which Mr. +Pickersgill was not familiar, and her own very considerable artistic +knowledge and taste made her, however, less discreet in her comments and +suggestions with regard to his operations than was altogether pleasant +to him; and after exhibiting various symptoms of impatience, on one +occasion he came so very near desiring her to mind her own business, +that we broke off the sitting abruptly; and the offended painter adding, +to my dismay, that it was quite evident he was not considered equal to +the task he had undertaken, our own attitude toward each other became so +constrained, not to say disagreeable, that on taking my leave I declined +returning any more, and what became of Mr. Pickersgill's beginning of me +I do not know. Perhaps he finished it by memory, and it is one of the +various portraits of me, _qui courent le monde_, for some of which I +never sat, which were taken either from the stage or were mere efforts +of memory of the artists; one of which, a head of Beatrice, painted by +my friend Mr. Sully, of Philadelphia, was engraved as a frontispiece to +a small volume of poems I published there, and was one of the best +likenesses ever taken of me. + +The success of "The Maid of Honor" gave me great pleasure. The sterling +merits of the play do not perhaps outweigh the one insuperable defect of +the despicable character of the hero; one can hardly sympathize with +Camiola's devotion to such an idol, and his unworthiness not only +lessens the interest of the piece, but detracts from the effect of her +otherwise very noble character. The performance of the part always gave +me great pleasure, and there was at once a resemblance to and difference +from my favorite character, Portia, that made it a study of much +interest to me. Both the women, young, beautiful, and of unusual +intellectual and moral excellence, are left heiresses to enormous +wealth, and are in exceptional positions of power and freedom in the +disposal of it. Portia, however, is debarred by the peculiar nature of +her father's will from bestowing her person and fortune upon any one of +her own choice; chance serves her to her wish (she was not born to be +unhappy), and gives her to the man she loves, a handsome, extravagant +young gentleman, who would certainly have been pronounced by all of us +quite unworthy of her, until she proved him worthy by the very fact of +her preference for him; while Camiola's lover is separated from her by +the double obstacle of his royal birth and religious vow. + +The golden daughter of the splendid republic receives and dismisses +princes and kings as her suitors, indifferent to any but their personal +merits; we feel she is their equal in the lowest as their superior in +the highest of their "qualities;" with Camiola it is impossible not to +suspect that her lover's rank must have had some share in the glamor he +throws over her. In some Italian version of the story that I have read, +Camiola is called the "merchant's daughter;" and contrasting her bearing +and demeanor with the easy courtesy and sweet, genial graciousness of +Portia, we feel that she must have been of lower birth and breeding than +the magnificent and charming Venetian. Portia is almost always in an +attitude of (unconscious) condescension in her relations with all around +her; Camiola, in one of self-assertion or self-defense. There is an +element of harshness, bordering upon coarseness, in the texture of her +character, which in spite of her fine qualities makes itself +unpleasantly felt, especially contrasted with that of Portia, to whom +the idea of encountering insolence or insult must have been as +_impossible_ as to the French duchess, who, warned that if she went into +the streets alone at night she would probably be insulted, replied with +ineffable security and simplicity, "Qui? moi!" One can imagine the +merchant's daughter _growing up_ to the possession of her great wealth, +through the narrowing and hardening influences of sordid circumstances +and habits of careful calculation and rigid economy, thrifty, prudent, +just, and eminently conscientious; of Portia one can only think as of a +creature born in the very lap of luxury and nursed in the midst of sunny +magnificence, whose very element was elegant opulence and refined +splendor, and by whose cradle Fortune herself stood godmother. She seems +like a perfect rose, blooming in a precious vase of gold and gems and +exquisite workmanship. Camiola's contemptuous rebuff of her insolent +courtier lover; her merciless ridicule of her fantastical, half-witted +suitor; her bitter and harsh rebuke of Adorni when he draws his sword +upon the man who had insulted her; above all, her hard and cold +insensibility to his unbounded devotion, and the cruelty of making him +the agent for the ransom of her lover from captivity (the selfishness of +her passion inducing her to employ him because she knows how absolutely +she may depend upon the unselfishness of his); and her final stern and +peremptory claim of Bertrand's promise, are all things that Portia could +never have done. Portia is the Lady of Belmont, and Camiola is the +merchant's daughter, a very noble and magnanimous woman. In the +munificent bestowal of their wealth, the one to ransom her husband's +friend from death, the other to redeem her own lover from captivity, the +manner of the gift is strikingly characteristic of the two natures. When +Portia, radiant with the joy of relieving Bassanio's anguish, speaks of +Antonio's heavy ransom as the "petty debt," we feel sure that if it had +been half her fortune it would have seemed to her an insignificant price +to pay for her husband's peace of mind. Camiola reads the price set upon +her lover's head, and with grave deliberation says, "Half my estate, +Adorni," before she bids him begone and purchase at that cost the +prince's release from captivity. Moreover, in claiming her right of +purchase over him, at the very moment of his union with another woman, +she gives a character of barter or sale to the whole transaction, and +appeals for justice as a defrauded creditor, insisting upon her "money's +worth," like Shylock himself, as if the love with which her heart is +breaking had been a mere question of traffic between the heir of Sicily +and the merchant's daughter. In spite of all which she is a very fine +creature, immeasurably superior to the despicable man who accepts her +favors and betrays her love. It is worthy of note that Bassanio, who is +clearly nothing else remarkable, is every inch a gentleman, and in that +respect no unfit mate for Portia; while the Sicilian prince is a +blackguard utterly, beneath Camiola in every particular but that of his +birth. + +I remember two things connected with my performance of Camiola which +amused me a good deal at the time. In the last scene, when she proclaims +her intention of taking the vail, Camiola makes tardy acknowledgment to +Adorni for his life-long constancy and love by leaving him a third of +her estate, with the simple words, "To thee, Adorni, for thy true and +faithful service" (a characteristic proceeding on the part of the +merchant's daughter. Portia would have given him the ring from her +finger, or the flower from her bosom, besides the fortune). I used to +pause upon the last words, endeavoring to convey, if one look and tone +might do it, all the regretful gratitude which ought to have filled her +heart, while uttering with her farewell that first, last, and only +recognition of his infinite devotion to her. One evening, when the +audience were perfectly silent and one might have "heard a pin drop," as +the saying is, as I spoke these words, a loud and enthusiastic +exclamation of, "Beautiful!" uttered by a single voice resounded through +the theater, and was followed by such a burst of applause that I was +startled and almost for a moment frightened by the sudden explosion of +feeling, for which I was quite unprepared, and which I have never +forgotten. + +Another night, as I was leaving the stage, after the play, I met behind +the scenes my dear friend Mr. Harness, with old Mr. Sotheby; both were +very kind in their commendation of my performance, but the latter kept +repeating with much emphasis, "But how do you contrive to make yourself +look so beautiful?" a rather equivocal compliment, which had a peculiar +significance; my beauty, or rather my lack of it, being a sore subject +between us, as I had made it the reason for refusing to act Mary Stuart +in his play of "Darnley," assuring him I was too ugly to look the part +properly; so upon this accusation of making myself "look beautiful," I +could only reply, with much laughing, "Good-looking enough for Camiola, +but not for Queen Mary." + +I received with great pleasure a congratulatory letter from Mrs. +Jameson, which, in spite of my feeling her praise excessive, confirmed +me in my opinion of the effect the piece ought to produce upon +intelligent spectators. She had seen all the great dramatic performers +of the Continental theaters, and had had many opportunities, both at +home and abroad, of cultivating her taste and forming her judgment, and +her opinion was, therefore, more valuable to me than much of the +criticism and praise that I received. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March, 1831. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + My mother is confined to her bed with a bad cold, or she would have + answered your note herself; but, being disabled, she has + commissioned me to do so, and desires me to say that both my father + and herself object to my going anywhere without some member of my + family as chaperon; and as this is a general rule, the infringement + of it in a particular instance, however much I might wish it, would + be better avoided, for fear of giving offense where I should be + glad to plead the prohibition. She bids me add that she fears she + cannot go out to-morrow, but that some day soon, at an early hour, + she hopes to be able to accompany us both to the British Gallery. + Will you come to us on Sunday evening? You see what is hanging over + me for Thursday next; shall you go to see me? + + Yours affectionately, + F. A. K. + +I did not, and do not, at all question the good judgment of my parents +in not allowing me to go into society unaccompanied by one or the other +of themselves. The only occasion on which I remember feeling very +rebellious with regard to this rule was that of the coronation of King +William and Queen Adelaide, for which imposing ceremony a couple of +peers' tickets had been very kindly sent us, but of which I was unable +to avail myself, my father being prevented by business from escorting +me, my mother being out of town, and my brother's countenance and +protection not being, in their opinion, adequate for the occasion. So +John went alone to the abbey, and say the fine show, and my peer's +ticket remained unused on my mantelpiece, a constant suggestion of the +great disappointment I had experienced when, after some discussion, it +was finally determined that he was too young to be considered a proper +chaperon for me. Dear me! how vexed I was! and how little charmed with +my notoriety, which was urged as the special reason for my being hedged +round with the utmost conventional decorum! + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March, 1831. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I have but two minutes to say two words to you, in answer to your + very kind note. Both my mother and myself went out of town, not to + recover from absolute indisposition, but to recruit strength. I am + sorry to say she is far from well now, however; but as I think her + present suffering springs from cold, I hope a few warm days will + remove it. I am myself very well, except a bad cough which I have + had for some time, and a very bad side-ache, which has just come + on, and which, if I had time in addition to the inclination which I + have, would prevent me from writing much more at present. I envy + you your time spent in the country; the first days of spring and + last of autumn should never be spent between brick houses and stone + pavements. I am truly sorry for the anxieties you have undergone; + your father is, I trust, quite recovered; and as to your dear baby + (Mrs. Jameson's niece), remember it is but beginning to make you + anxious, and will continue to do so as long as it lives, which is a + perfect Job's comforter, is it not? The story of your old man + interested me very much; I suppose a parent can love all through a + whole lifetime of absence: but do you think there can be a very + strong and enduring affection in a child's bosom for a parent + hardly known except by hearsay? I should doubt it. I must leave off + now, and remain, + + Always yours most truly, + F.A. KEMBLE. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 29, 1831. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + Will you be kind enough to forward my very best acknowledgments to + Sir Gerard Nöel, both for his good wishes and the more tangible + proof of interest he sent me (a considerable payment for a box on + my benefit night)? I am sorry you were alarmed on Monday. You + alarmed us all; you looked so exceedingly ill that I feared + something very serious had occurred to distress and vex you. Thank + you for your critique upon my Constance; both my mother and myself + were much delighted with it; it was every way acceptable to me, for + the censure I knew to be deserved, and the praise I hoped was so, + and they were blended in the very nicest proportions. We dine at + six to-morrow. Lady Cork insisted upon five, but that was really + too primitive, because, as the dandy said, "we cannot eat meat in + the morning." + + Ever yours most truly, + F. A. K. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 30, 1831. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + Thank you for your money; it is necessary to be arithmetical if one + means to be economical, and I receive your tribute with more + pleasure than that of a duchess. I sometimes hear people lament + that they have anything to do with money. I do not at all share + that feeling; money, after all, only represents other things. If + one has much, it is always well to look to one's expenditure, or + the much will become much less; and if one has little, and works + hard for it, I cannot understand being above receiving the price of + one's labor. In all kinds "the laborer is worthy of his hire," and + I think it very foolish to talk as if we set no value upon that + which we value enough to toil for. With regard to the tickets you + wish me to send you, I must refer you to the theater; for, finding + that my wits and temper were both likely to be lost in the + box-book, I sent the whole away to Mr. Notter, the box-book keeper, + to whom you had better apply. + + Yours ever truly, + F. A. K. + +This and the preceding note refer to my benefit, of which, according to +a not infrequent custom with the more popular members of the profession, +I had undertaken to manage the business details, but found myself, as I +have here stated, quite incompetent to encounter the worry of +applications for boxes, and seats, and special places, etc., etc., and +have never since, in the course of my whole public career, had anything +to do with the management of my own affairs. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March, 1831. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I was not at home yesterday afternoon when you sent to our house, + and all the evening was so busy studying that I had not time to + answer your dispatch. Thank you for your last year's letter; it is + curious to look back, even to so short a time, and see how the past + affected one when it was the present. I remember I was very happy + and comfortable at Bath, the critics notwithstanding. Thank you, + too, for your more recent epistle. I am grateful for, and gratified + by, your minute observation of my acting. I am always thankful for + your criticisms, even when I do not quite agree with them; for I + know that you are always kindly anxious that I should not destroy + my own effects, which I believe I not unfrequently do. With regard + to my action, unless in passages which necessarily require a + specific gesture, such as, "You'll find them at the Marchesa + Aldabella's," I never determine any one particular movement; and, + of course, this must render my action different almost every time; + and so it depends upon my own state of excitement and inspiration, + so to speak, whether the gesture be forcible or not. My father + desires me to send you Retsch's "Hamlet;" it is his, and I request + you not to judge it too hastily: I have generally heard it abused, + but I think in many parts it has very great merit. I am told that + Retsch says he has no fancy for illustrating "Romeo and Juliet," + which seems strange. One would have thought he would have delighted + in portraying those lovely human beings, whom one always imagines + endowed with an outward and visible form as youthful, beautiful, + and full of grace, as their passion itself was. Surely the balcony, + the garden, and grave-yard scenes, would have furnished admirable + subjects for his delicate and powerful hand. Is it possible that he + thinks the thing beyond him? I must go to work. Good-by. + + Ever yours truly, + F. A. K. + + You marked so many things in my manuscript book that I really felt + ashamed to copy them all, for I should have filled more than half + yours with my rhymes. I have just added to those I did transcribe a + sonnet I wrote on Monday night after the play. + +It may have been that the execution of "Faust," his masterpiece, +disinclined Retsch for the treatment of another love story. He did +subsequently illustrate "Romeo and Juliet" with much grace and beauty; +but it is, as a whole, undoubtedly inferior to his illustrations of +Goethe's tragical love story. Retsch's genius was too absolutely German +to allow of his treating anything from any but a German point of view. +Shakespeare, Englishman as he is, has written an Italian "Romeo and +Juliet;" but Retsch's lovers are Teutonic in spite of their costume, and +nowhere, as in the wonderful play, is the Southern passion made manifest +through the Northern thought. + +The private theatricals at Bridgewater House were fruitful of serious +consequences to me, and bestowed on me a lasting friendship and an +ephemeral love: the one a source of much pleasure, the other of some +pain. They entailed much intimate intercourse with Lord and Lady Francis +Leveson Gower, afterward Egerton, and finally Earl and Countess of +Ellesmere, who became kind and constant friends of mine. Victor Hugo's +play of "Hernani," full of fine and striking things, as well as of +exaggerations verging on the ludicrous, had been most admirably rendered +into rhymed verse by Lord Ellesmere. His translations from the German +and his English version of "Faust," which was one of the first attempts +to give a poetical rendering in our language of Goethe's masterpiece, +had won him some literary reputation, and his rhymed translation of +"Hernani" was a performance calculated to add to it considerably. He was +a very accomplished and charming person; good and amiable, clever, +cultivated, and full of fine literary and artistic taste. He was +singularly modest and shy, with a gentle diffidence of manner and sweet, +melancholy expression in his handsome face that did no justice to a keen +perception of humor and relish of fun, which nobody who did not know him +intimately would have suspected him of. + +Of Lady Ellesmere I have already said that she was a sort of idol of +mine in my girlhood, when first I knew her, and to the end of her life +continued to be an object of my affectionate admiration. She was +excellently conscientious, true, and upright; of a direct and simple +integrity of mind and character which her intercourse with the great +world to which she belonged never impaired, and which made her singular +and unpopular in the artificial society of English high life. Her +appearance always seemed to me strikingly indicative of her mind and +character. The nobly delicate and classical outline of her face, her +pure, transparent complexion, and her clear, fearless eyes were all +outward and visible expressions of her peculiar qualities. Her +beautifully shaped head and fine profile always reminded me of the +Pallas Athene on some antique gem, and the riding cap with the visor, +which she first made fashionable, increased the classical resemblance. +She was curiously wanting in imagination, and I never heard anything +more comically literal than her description of her own utter +_destitution_ of poetical taste. After challenging in vain her +admiration for the great poets of our language, I quoted to her, not +without misgiving, some charmingly graceful and tender lines, addressed +to herself by her husband, and asked her if she did not like those: "Oh +yes," replied she, "I think they are very nice, but you know I think +they would be just as nice _if they were not verses_; and whenever I +hear any poetry that I like at all, I always think how much better I +should like it if it was prose;" an explanation of her taste that +irresistibly reminded me of the delightful Frenchman's sentiment about +spinach: "Je n'aime pas les épinards, et je suis si content que je ne +les aime pas! parce que si je les aimais, j'en mangerais beaucoup, et je +ne peux pas les souffrir." + +My intercourse with Lady Ellesmere, which had been a good deal +interrupted during the years I passed out of England, was renewed the +year before her death, when I visited her at Hatchford, where she was +residing in her widowhood, and where I promised her when I left her I +would return and stay with her again, but was never fortunate enough to +do so, her death occurring not long afterward. + +During one of my last visits to Worsley Hall, Lord Ellesmere's seat in +Lancashire, Lady Ellesmere had taken me all over the beautiful church +they were building near their house, which was to be his and her final +resting-place. After her death I made a pilgrimage to it for her sake, +and when the service was over and the young members of the family had +left their place of worship near the grave of their parents, I went into +their chapel, where a fine monument with his life-sized effigy in marble +had been dedicated to him by her love, and where close beside it and +below it lay the marble slab on which her name was inscribed. + +Our performance at Bridgewater House was highly successful and created a +great sensation, and we repeated it three times for the edification of +the great gay world of London, sundry royal personages included. Two of +our company, Mr. Craven and Mr. St. Aubin, were really good actors; the +rest were of a tolerably decent inoffensiveness. Mrs. Bradshaw, the +charming Maria Tree of earlier days, accepted the few lines that had to +be spoken by Donna Sol's duenna, and delivered the epilogue, which, +besides being very graceful and playful, contains some lines for which I +felt grateful to Lord Ellesmere's kindness, though he had certainly +taken a poet's full license of embellishing his subject in his laudatory +reference to his Donna Sol. + +The whole thing amused me very much, and mixed up, as it soon came to be +for me, with an element of real and serious interest, kept up the +atmosphere of nervous excitement in which I was plunged from morning +till night. + +The play which Sheridan Knowles came to read to us was "The Hunchback." +He had already produced several successful dramas, of which the most +striking was Virginius, in which Mr. Macready performed the Roman father +so finely. The play Knowles now read to us had been originally taken by +him to Drury Lane in the hope and expectation that Kean would accept the +principal man's part of Master Walter. Various difficulties and +disagreements arising, however, about the piece, the author brought it +to my father; and great was my emotion and delight in hearing him read +it. From the first moment I felt sure that it would succeed greatly, and +that I should be able to do justice to the part of the heroine, and I +was anxious with my father for its production. The verdict of the Green +Room was not, however, nearly as favorable as I had expected; and I was +surprised to find that when the piece was read to the assembled company +it was received with considerable misgiving as to its chance of success. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +It is very curious that their experience tells so little among +theatrical people in their calculation of the probable success of a new +piece; perhaps it may be said that they cannot positively foresee the +effect each actor or actress may produce with certain parts; but given +the best possible representation of the piece, the precise temper of the +particular audience who decides its fate on the first night of +representation is always an unknown quantity in the calculation, and no +technical experience ever seems to arrive at anything like even +approximate certainty with regard to that. I felt perfectly sure of the +success of "The Hunchback," but I think that was precisely because of my +want of theatrical experience, which left me rather in the position of +one of the public than one of the players, and there was much grave +head-shaking over it, especially on the part of our excellent +stage-manager, Mr. Bartley, who was exceedingly faint-hearted about the +experiment. + +My father, with great professional disinterestedness, took the +insignificant part of the insignificant lover, and Knowles himself +filled that of the hero of the piece, the hunchback; a circumstance +which gave the part a peculiar interest, and compensated in some measure +for the loss of the great genius of Kean, for whom it had been written. + +The same species of uncertainty which I have said characterizes the +judgments of actors with regard to the success of new pieces sometimes +affects the appreciation authors themselves form of the relative merits +of their own works, inducing them to value more highly some which they +esteem their best, and to which that pre-eminence is denied by popular +verdict. Knowles, while writing "The Hunchback," was so absorbed with +the idea of what Kean's impersonation of it would probably be, that he +was entirely unconscious of what the great actor himself probably +perceived, that on the stage the part of Julia would overweigh and +eclipse that of Master Walter. Knowles felt sure he had written a fine +man's part, and was really not aware that the woman's part was still +finer. What is yet more singular is that while he was writing "The +Wife," which he did immediately afterward, with a view to my acting the +principal female character, he constantly said to me, "I am writing +_such_ a part for you!" and had no notion that the only part capable of +any effect at all in the piece was that of Julian St. Pierre, the +good-for-nothing brother of the duchess. + +The play of "The Wife" was singularly wanting in interest, and except in +the character of St. Pierre was ineffective and flat from beginning to +end, in that respect a perfect contrast to "The Hunchback," in which the +interest is vivid and strong, and never flags from the first scene to +the last. I was quite unable to make anything at all of the part of +Marianna, nor have I ever heard of its becoming prominent or striking in +the hands of any one else. + +"The Hunchback," according to my confident expectation, succeeded. +Knowles played his own hero with great force and spirit, though he was +in such a state of wild excitement that I expected to see him fly on the +stage whenever he should have been off it, and _vice versâ_, and +followed him about behind the scenes endeavoring to keep him in his +right mind with regard to his exits and his entrances, and receiving +from him explosive Irish benedictions in return for my warnings and +promptings. Throughout the whole first representation I was really as +nervous for and about him as I was about the play itself and my own +particular part in it. My father did the impossible with Sir Thomas +Clifford, in making him both dignified and interesting; and Miss Taylor +was capital in the saucy Helen. My part played itself and was greatly +liked by the audience; the piece was one of the most popular original +plays of my time, and has continued a favorite alike with the public and +the players. The part of the heroine is one, indeed, in which it would +be almost impossible to fail; and every Julia may reckon upon the +sympathy of her audience, the character is so pre-eminently effective +and dramatic. + +Of the play as a composition not much is to be said; it has little +poetical or literary merit, and even the plot is so confused and obscure +that nobody to my knowledge (not even the author himself, of whom I once +asked an explanation of it) was ever able to make it out or give a +plausible account of it. The characters are inconsistent and wanting in +verisimilitude to a degree that ought to prove fatal to them with any +tolerably reasonable spectators; in spite of all which the play is +interesting, exciting, affecting, and humorous. The powerfully dramatic +effect of the situations, and the two characters of Master Walter and +Julia, the great scope for good acting in all the scenes in which they +appear, the natural fire, passion, and pathos of the dialogue, in short +the great merits of the piece as an acting play cover all its defects; +even the heroine's vulgar, flighty folly and the hero's absurd +eccentricity interfering wonderfully little with the sympathy of the +audience for their troubles and their final triumph over them. "The +Hunchback" is a very satisfactory play to _see_, but let nobody who has +seen it well acted attempt to read it in cold blood! + +It had an immense run, and afforded me an opportunity of testing the +difference between an infinite repetition of the text of Shakespeare and +that of any other writer. I played Juliet upward of a hundred nights +without any change of part and did not weary of it; Julia, in "The +Hunchback," after half the repetition became so tiresome to me that I +would have given anything to have changed parts with my sprightly Helen, +if only for a night, to refresh myself and recover a little from the +extreme weariness I felt in constantly repeating Julia. The audience +certainly would have suffered by the exchange, for Miss Taylor would not +have played my part so much better than I, as I should have played hers +worse than she did. Indeed, her performance of the character of Helen +saved it from the reproach of coarseness, which very few actresses would +have been able to avoid while giving it all the point and lively humor +which she threw into it. I had great pleasure in acting the piece with +her, she did her business so thoroughly well and was so amiable and +agreeable a fellow-worker. + +In my last letter to Miss S---- I have spoken of a party at the Countess +of Cork's, to which I went. She was one of the most curious figures in +the London society of my girlish days. Very aged, yet retaining much of +a vivacity of spirit and sprightly wit for which she had been famous as +Mary Monckton, she continued till between ninety and a hundred years old +to entertain her friends and the gay world, who frequently during the +season assembled at her house. + +I have still a note begging me to come to one of her evening parties, +written under her dictation by a young person who used to live with her, +and whom she called her "Memory;" the few concluding lines scrawled by +herself are signed "_M. Cork, æt_. 92." She was rather apt to appeal to +her friends to come to her on the score of her age; and I remember +Rogers showing me an invitation he had received from her for one of the +ancient concert evenings (these were musical entertainments of the +highest order, which Mr. Rogers never failed to attend), couched in +these terms: "Dear Rogers, leave the ancient music and come to ancient +Cork, 93." Lady Cork's drawing-rooms were rather peculiar in their +arrangement: they did not contain that very usual piece of furniture, a +pianoforte, so that if ever she especially desired to have music she +hired an instrument for the evening; the rest of the furniture consisted +only of very large and handsome armchairs placed round the apartments +against the walls, to which they were _made fast_ by some mysterious +process, so that it was quite impossible to form a small circle or +coterie of one's own at one of her assemblies. I remember when first I +made this discovery expressing my surprise to the beautiful Lady Harriet +d'Orsay, who laughingly suggested that poor old Lady Cork's infirmity +with regard to the property of others (a well-known incapacity for +discriminating between _meum_ and _tuum_) might probably be the cause of +this peculiar precaution with regard to her own armchairs, which it +would not, however, have been a very easy matter to have stolen even had +they not been chained to the walls. In the course of the conversation +which followed, Lady E----, apparently not at all familiar with +Chesterfield's Letters, said that it was Lady Cork who had originated +the idea that after all heaven would probably turn out very dull to her +_when she got there; sitting on damp clouds and singing "God save the +King_" being her idea of the principal amusements there. This rather +dreary image of the joys of the blessed was combated, however, by Lady +E----, who put forth her own theory on the subject as far more genial, +saying, "Oh dear, no; she thought it would be all splendid _fêtes_ and +delightful dinner parties, and charming, clever people; _just like the +London season, only a great deal pleasanter because there would be no +bores._" With reference to Lady Cork's theory, Lady Harriet said, "I +suppose it would be rather tiresome for her, poor thing! for you know +she hates music, and there would be nothing to steal _but one another's +wings_." + +Lady Cork's great age did not appear to interfere with her enjoyment of +society, in which she lived habitually. I remember a very comical +conversation with her in which she was endeavoring to appoint some day +for my dining with her, our various engagements appearing to clash. She +took up the pocket-book where hers were inscribed, and began reading +them out with the following running commentary: "Wednesday--no, +Wednesday won't do; Lady Holland dines with me--naughty lady!--won't do, +my dear. Thursday?" "Very sorry, Lady Cork, we are engaged." "Ah yes, so +am I; let's see--Friday; no, Friday I have the Duchess of C----, another +naughty lady; mustn't come then, my dear. Saturday?" "No, Lady Cork, I +am very sorry--Saturday, we are engaged to Lady D----." "Oh dear, oh +dear! improper lady, too! but a long time ago, everybody's forgotten all +about it--very proper now! quite proper now!" + +Lady Cork's memory seemed to me to stretch beyond the limits of what +everybody had forgotten. She was quite a young woman at the time of the +youth of George III., and spoke of Frederick, Prince of Wales, to whose +wife she, then the Honorable Mary Monckton, was maid of honor. It is a +most tantalizing circumstance to me now, to remember a fragment of a +conversation between herself and my mother, on the occasion of the first +visit I was ever taken to pay her. I was a very young girl; it was just +after my return from school at Paris, and the topics discussed by my +mother and her old lady friend interested me so little that I was +looking out of the window, and wondering when we should go away, when my +attention was arrested by these words spoken with much emphasis by Lady +Cork: "Yes, my dear, I was alone in the room, and the picture turned in +its frame, and Lord Bute came out from behind it;" here, perceiving my +eyes riveted upon her, she lowered her voice, and I distinctly felt that +I was expected to look out of the window again, without having any idea, +however, that the question was probably one of the character of a +"naughty lady" of higher rank than those so designated to me some years +later by old Lady Cork, who, if I may judge by this fragment of gossip, +might have cleared up some disputed points as to the relations between +the Princess of Wales and the Prime Minister. + +I do not know that Lady Cork's reputation for beauty ever equaled that +she had for wit, but when I knew her, at upward of ninety, she was +really a very comely old woman. Her complexion was still curiously fine +and fair, and there was great vivacity in her eyes and countenance, as +well as wonderful liveliness in her manner. Her figure was very slight +and diminutive, and at the parties at her own house she always was +dressed entirely in white--in some rich white silk, with a white bonnet +covered with a rich blonde or lace vail on her head; she looked like a +little old witch bride. I recollect a curious scene my mother described +to me, which she witnessed one day when calling on Lady Cork, whom she +had known for many years. She was shown into her dressing-room, where +the old lady was just finishing her toilet. She was about to put on her +gown, and remaining a moment without it showed my mother her arms and +neck, which were even then still white and round and by no means +unlovely, and said, pointing to her maid, "Isn't it a shame! she won't +let me wear my gowns low or my sleeves short any more." To which the +maid responded by throwing the gown over her mistress's shoulders, +exclaiming at the same time, "Oh, fie, my lady! you ought to be ashamed +of yourself to talk so at your age!"--a rebuke which the nonagenarian +beauty accepted with becoming humility. + +The unfortunate propensity of poor Lady Cork to appropriate all sorts of +things belonging to other people, valueless quite as often as valuable, +was matter of public notoriety, so that the fashionable London +tradesmen, to whom her infirmity in this respect was well known, never +allowed their goods to be taken to her carriage for inspection, but +always exacted that she should come into their shops, where an +individual was immediately appointed to follow her about and watch her +during the whole time she was making her purchases. + +Whenever she visited her friends in the country, her maid on her return +home used to gather together whatever she did not recognize as belonging +to her mistress, and her butler transmitted it back to the house where +they had been staying. I heard once a most ludicrous story of her +carrying off, _faute de mieux_, a _hedgehog_ from a place where the +creature was a pet of the porters, and was running tame about the hall +as Lady Cork crossed it to get into her carriage. She made her poor +"Memory" seize up the prickly beast, but after driving a few miles with +this unpleasant spiked foot-warmer, she found means to dispose of it at +a small town, where she stopped to change horses, to a baker, to whom +she gave it in payment for a sponge cake, assuring him that a hedgehog +would be invaluable in his establishment for the destruction of black +beetles, with which she knew, from good authority, that the premises of +bakers were always infested. + +The following note was addressed to Lady Dacre on the subject of a +pretty piece called "Isaure," which she had written and very kindly +wished to have acted at Covent Garden for my benefit. It was, however, +judged of too slight and delicate a texture for that large frame, and +the purpose was relinquished. I rather think it was acted in private at +Hatfield House, Lady Salisbury filling the part of the heroine, which I +was to have taken had the piece been brought out at Covent Garden. + + MY DEAR LADY DACRE, + + Will you be kind enough to send "Isaure" to my father? We will take + the greatest possible care of her, and return her to you in all + safety. I am only sorry that he cannot have the pleasure of hearing + you read it; for though it can take its own part very well, you + know even Shakespeare is not the worse for the interpretation of a + sweet voice, musical accent, and correct emphasis. With regard to + the production of the piece on the stage, I do not like to venture + an opinion, because my short experience has been long enough + already to show me how easily I might be mistaken in such matters. + + There is no rule by which the humors of an audience can be + predicted. On a benefit night, indeed, I feel sure that the piece + would succeed, and answer your kind intention of adding to the + attractions of the bill, be they what they might; but our judges + are not the same, you know, two consecutive evenings, and therefore + it is impossible to foretell the sentence of a second + representation, for no "benefit" but that of the public itself. + Isaure is a refined patrician beauty, and I am sometimes inclined + to think that the Memphian head alone is of fit proportions for + uttering oracles in the huge space of our modern stage. My father, + however, is, from long experience, the best guesser of these + riddles, and he will tell you honestly his opinion as to your + heroine's public capacity. I am sure he will find his own reward in + making her acquaintance. I am, my dear Lady Dacre, faithfully + yours, + + FANNY KEMBLE. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + Thank you for the book you were so good as to send me. I have read + that which concerns the Cenci in it, and think Leigh Hunt's + reflections on the story and tragedy very good. I am glad you were + at the play last night, because I thought I acted well--at least, I + tried to do so. I stayed the first act of the new after-piece, and + was rather amused by it. I do not know how the ladies' + "inexpressibles" might affect the fortunes of the second act, but I + liked all their gay petticoats in the first, extremely. The weather + is not very propitious for us; we start to-morrow at nine. I send + you the only copy of Sophocles I can lay my hand on this morning. + Yours ever truly, + + F. A. KEMBLE. + +A little piece called "The Invincibles," in which a smart corps of young +Amazons in uniform were officered by Madame Vestris in the prettiest +regimentals ever well worn by woman, was the novelty I alluded to. The +effect of the female troop was very pretty, and the piece was very +successful. + +I had only lately read Shelley's great tragedy, and Mrs. Jameson had +been so good as to lend me various notices and criticisms upon it. The +hideous subject itself is its weak point, and his selection of it one +cause for doubting Shelley's power as a dramatic writer. Everything else +in the terrible play suggests the probable loss his death may have been +to the dramatic literature of England. At the same time, the tenor of +all his poems denotes a mind too unfamiliar with human life and human +nature in their ordinary normal aspects and conditions for a good writer +of plays. His metaphysical was almost too much for his poetical +imagination, and perhaps nothing between the morbid horror of that Cenci +story and the ideal grandeur of the Greek Prometheus would have excited +him to the dramatic handling of any subject. + +His translation from Calderon's "El Magico Prodigioso," and his bit of +the Brocken scene from "Faust," are fine samples of his power of +dramatic style; he alone could worthily have translated the whole of +"Faust;" but I suppose he really was too deficient in the vigorous +flesh-and-blood vitality of the highest and healthiest poetical genius +to have been a dramatist. He could not deal with common folk nor handle +common things; humor, that great _tragic_ element, was not in him; the +heavens and all their clouds and colors were his, and he floated and +hovered and soared in the ethereal element like one native to it. Upon +the firm earth his foot wants firmness, and men and women as they are, +are at once too coarse and complex, too robust and too infinitely +various for his delicate, fine, but in some sense feeble handling. + +Browning is the very reverse of Shelley in this respect; both have +written one fine play and several fine dramatic compositions; but +throughout Shelley's poetry the dramatic spirit is deficient, while in +Browning's it reveals itself so powerfully that one wonders how he has +escaped writing many good plays besides the "Blot on the Scutcheon" and +that fine fragmentary succession of scenes, "Pippa Passes." + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I fear I am going to disappoint you, and 'tis with real regret that + I do so, but I have been acting every night almost for the last + month, and when to-day I mentioned my project of spending this my + holiday evening with you, both my aunt and my father seemed to + think that in discharging my debt to you I was defrauding nearer + and older creditors; and suggested that my mother, who really sees + but little of me now, might think my going out to-night unkind. I + cannot, therefore, carry out my plan of visiting you, and beg that + you will forgive my not keeping my promise this evening. I am + moreover so far from well that my company would hardly give you + much pleasure, nor could I stay long if I came, for early as it is + my head is aching for its pillow already. + + As soon as a week occurs in which I have _two_ holidays I will try + to give you one of them. I send you back Crabbe, which I have kept + for ever; for a great poet, which he is, he is curiously + unpoetical, I think. Yours ever truly, + + F.A. KEMBLE. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + My mother bids me say that you certainly will suppose she is mad, + or else _Mother Hubbard's dog_; for when you called she was + literally ill in bed, and this evening she cannot have the pleasure + of receiving you, because she is engaged out, here in our own + neighborhood, to a very quiet tea. She bids me thank you very much + for the kindness of your proposed visit, and express her regret at + not being able to avail herself of it. If you can come on Thursday, + between one and two o'clock, I shall be most happy to see you. + Thank you very much for Lamb's "Dramatic Specimens;" I read the + scene you had copied from "Philaster" directly; how fine it is! how + I should like to act it! Mr. Harness has sent me the first volume + of the family edition of the "Old Plays." I think sweeping those + fine dramas clean is a good work that cannot be enough commended. + What treasures we possess and make no use of, while we go on acting + "Gamesters" and "Grecian Daughters," and such poor stuff! But I + have no time for ecstasies or exclamations. Yours ever most truly, + + F.A. KEMBLE. + +I have said that hardly any new part was ever assigned to me that I did +not receive with a rueful sense of inability to what I called "do +anything with it." Julia in "The Hunchback," and Camiola in "The Maid of +Honor," were among the few exceptions to this preparatory attack of +despondency; but those I in some sort choose myself, and all my other +characters were appointed me by the management, in obedience to whose +dictates, and with the hope of serving the interests of the theater, I +suppose I should have acted Harlequin if I had been ordered to do so. + +Lady Teazle and Mrs. Oakley were certainly no exceptions to this +experience of a cold fit of absolute incapacity with which I received +every new part appointed me, and my studying of them might have been +called lugubrious, whatever my subsequent performance of them may have +been. My mother was of invaluable assistance to me in the process, and I +owe to her whatever effect I produced in either part. She had great +comic as well as pathetic power, and the incisive point of her delivery +gave every shade of meaning of the dialogue with admirable truth and +pungency; her own performance of Mrs. Oakley had been excellent; I acted +it, even with the advantage of her teaching, very tamely. Jealousy, in +any shape, was not a passion that I sympathized with; the tragic misery +of Bianca's passion was, however, a thing I could imagine sufficiently +well to represent it; but not so Mrs. Oakley's fantastical frenzies. But +the truth is that it was not until many years later and in my readings +of Shakespeare that I developed any real comic faculty at all; and I +have been amused in the later part of my public career to find comedy +often considered my especial gift, rather than the tragic and pathetic +one I was supposed at the beginning of it to possess. + +The fact is that except in broad farce, where the principal ingredient +being humor, animal spirits and a grotesque imagination, which are of no +particular age, come strongly into play, comedy appears to me decidedly +a more mature and complete result of dramatic training than tragedy. The +effect of the latter may, as I myself exemplified, be tolerably achieved +by force of natural gifts, aided but little by study; but a fine +comedian _must_ be a fine artist; his work is intellectual, and not +emotional, and his effects address themselves to the critical judgment +and not the passionate sympathy of an audience. Tact, discretion, fine +taste, are quite indispensable elements of his performance; he must be +really a more complete actor than a great tragedian need be. The +expression of passion and emotion appears to be an interpretation of +nature, and may be forcibly rendered sometimes with but little beyond +the excitement of its imaginary experience on the actor's own +sensibility; while a highly educated perfection is requisite for the +actor who, in a brilliant and polished representation of the follies of +society, produces by fine and delicate and powerful delineations the +picture of the vices and ridicules of a highly artificial civilization. + +Good company itself is not unapt to be very good acting of high comedy, +while tragedy, which underlies all life, if by chance it rises to the +smooth surface of polite, social intercourse, agitates and disturbs it +and produces even in that uncongenial sphere the rarely heard discord of +a natural condition and natural expression of natural feeling. + +Of my performance of Mrs. Oakley I have but one recollection, which is +that of having once, while acting it with my father, disconcerted him to +such a degree as to compel him to turn up the stage in an uncontrollable +fit of laughter. I remember the same thing happening once when I was +playing Beatrice to his Benedict. I have not the least notion what I did +that struck my father with such irrepressible merriment, but I suppose +there must have been something in itself irresistibly ludicrous to him, +toward whom my manner was habitually respectfully deferential (for our +intercourse with our parents, though affectionate, was not familiar, and +we seldom addressed them otherwise than as "sir" and "ma'am"), to be +pelted by me with the saucy sallies of Beatrice's mischievous wit, or +pummeled with the grotesque outbursts of poor Mrs. Oakley's jealous +fury. + +Our personal relation, which thus rendered our performance of comedy +together especially comical to my father, added infinitely to my +distress in all tragedies in which we acted together; the sense of his +displeasure or the sight of his anguish invariably bringing him, my +father, and not the part he was acting, before me; and, as in the play +of "The Stranger" and the pathetic little piece of "The Deserter," +affecting me with almost uncontrollable emotion. + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, April 10, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I owe you something like an explanatory note after that ejaculatory + one I sent you the other day. You must have thought me crazy; but + indeed, since all these late alarming reports from Spain, until the + news came of John's safety, I did not know how much fear and + anxiety lay under the hope and courage I had endeavored to maintain + about him. + + From day to day I had read the reports and tried to reason with + regard to their probability, and to persuade my mother that we had + every cause for hoping the best; and it was really not until that + hope was realized that it seemed as if all my mental nerves and + muscles, braced to the resistance of calamity, had suddenly relaxed + and given way under the relief from all further apprehension of it. + I have kept much of my forebodings to myself, but they have been + constant and wretched enough, and my gratitude for this termination + of them is unspeakable. + + I heard last night a report which I have not mentioned to my mother + for fear it should prove groundless. Horace Twiss showed me a note + in which a gentleman assured him that John had positively taken his + passage in a Government vessel, and was now on his way home; even + if this is true, I am afraid to tell my mother, because if the + vessel should be delayed a day or two by weather or any other + cause, her anxiety will have another set of apprehensions to feed + upon, and to prey upon her with. She desires her best love to you; + she likes your pamphlet on "The Education of the People" very much, + at the same time that it has not convinced her that instruction is + wholesome for the lower orders; she thinks the dependence of + helplessness and ignorance a better security (for them, or for + those above them, I wonder?) than the power of reasoning rightly + and a sense of duty, in which opinion, as you will believe, I do + not agree. + + Thank you for your account of your visit to Wroxton Abbey [the seat + of the Earl of Guilford]; it interested me very much; trees are not + to me, as they seem to be to you, the most striking and beautiful + of all natural objects, though I remember feeling a good deal of + pain at the cutting down of a particular tree that I was very fond + of. + + At the entrance of Weybridge was a deserted estate and dilapidated + mansion, Portmore Park, once a royal domain, through which the + river ran and where we used to go constantly to fish. There was a + remarkably beautiful cedar tree whose black boughs spread far over + the river, and whose powerful roots, knotted in every variety of + twist, formed a cradle from which the water had gradually washed + away the earth. Here I used to sit, or rather lie, reading, or + writing sometimes, while the others pursued their sport, and + enjoying the sound and sight of the sparkling water which ran + undermining my bed and singing treacherous lullabies to me the + while. For two years this tree was my favorite haunt; the third, on + our return to Weybridge from London, on my running to the + accustomed spot, I found the hitherto intercepted sun staring down + upon the water and the bank, and a broad, smooth, white _tabula + rasa_ level with the mossy turf, which was all that remained of my + cedar canopy; and though it afforded an infinitely more commodious + seat than the twisted roots, I never returned there again. + + To-morrow we dine with the F----s, and there is to be a dance in + the evening; on Wednesday I act Constance; Thursday there is a + charade party at the M----s'; Friday I play Mrs. Beverley; and + Monday and Wednesday next, Camiola. I hope by and by to act Camiola + very well, but I am afraid the play itself can never become + popular; the size of the theater and the public taste of the + present day are both against such pieces; still, the attempt seemed + to me worth making, and if it should prove successful we might + revive one or two more of Massinger's plays; they are such sterling + stuff compared with the Isabellas, the Jane Shores, the everything + but Shakespeare. You saw in my journal what I think about Camiola. + I endeavor as much as I can to soften her, and if I can manage to + do so I shall like her better than any part I have played, except + my dear Portia, who does not need softening. + + I am too busy just now to read "Destiny" [Miss Ferrier's admirable + novel]; my new part and dresses and rehearsals will occupy me next + week completely. I have taken a new start about "The Star of + Seville" [the play I was writing], and am working away hard at it. + I begin to see my way through it. I wish I could make anything like + an acting play of it; we want one or two new ones so very much. + + My riding goes on famously, and Fozzard thinks so well of my + progress that the other day he put me upon a man's horse--an + Arab--which frightened me half to death with his high spirits and + capers; but I sat him, and what is more, rode him. Tuesday we go to + a very gay ball a little way out of town; Saturday we go to a party + at old Lady Cork's, who calls you Harriet and professes to have + known you well and to remember you perfectly. + + Now, H----, as to what you say of fishing, if you are bloody-minded + enough to desire to kill creatures for sport, in Heaven's name why + don't you do it? The sin lies in the inclination (by the bye, I + think that's _half_ a mistake). Never mind, your inclination to + fish and my desire to be the tigress at the Zoological Gardens have + nothing whatever in common. I admire and envy the wild beast's + swiftness and strength, but if I had them I don't think I would + tear human beings to bits unless I were _she_, which was not what I + wished to be, only as strong and agile as she; do you see? I am in + a great hurry, dear, and have written you an inordinately stupid + letter; never mind, the next shall be inconceivably amusing. Just + now my head is stuffed full of amber-colored cashmere and white + satin. My mother begs to be kindly remembered to Mrs. Kemble. + Always affectionately yours, + + F. A. K. + +My determination to _soften_ the character of Camiola is another +indication of my imperfect comprehension of my business as an actress, +which was not to reform but to represent certain personages. Massinger's +"Maid of Honor" is a stern woman, not without a very positive grain of +coarse hardness in her nature. My attempt to _soften_ her was an +impertinent endeavor to alter his fine conception to something more in +harmony with my own ideal of womanly perfection. I was a very +indifferent actress and had not begun to understand my work, nor was Mr. +Macready far wrong when, many years after, he spoke to me as "not +knowing the rudiments of my profession." + + + JOURNAL, 1831. + + _Thursday, April 21st._--Walked in the square, and studied Lady + Teazle. The trees are thickly clothed with leaves, and the new-mown + grass, even in the midst of London, smelt fresh and sweet; I was + quite alone in the square, and enjoyed something like a _country_ + sensation. I went to Pickersgill, and Mrs. Jameson came while I was + sitting to him; that Medora of his is a fine picture, full of + poetry. We dined with the Harnesses; Milman and Croly were among + the guests (it was a sort of _Quarterly Review_ in the flesh). I + like Mr. Milman; not so the other critic. + + _Friday, 22d._--Visiting with my mother; called on Lady Dacre, who + gave me her pretty little piece of "Wednesday Morning," with a view + to our doing it for my father's benefit. It is really very pretty, + but I fear will look in our large theater as a lady's water-color + sketch of a landscape would by way of a scene. I walked in the + square in the afternoon, and studied Lady Teazle, which I do not + like a bit, and shall act abominably. At the theatre to-night the + house was not very full, and the audience were unpleasantly + inclined to be political; they took one of the speeches, "The king, + God bless him," and applied it with vehement applause to his worthy + Majesty, William IV. + + _Saturday, 23d._--After my riding lesson, went and sat in the + library to hear Sheridan Knowles's play of "The Hunchback." Mr. + Bartley and my father and mother were his only audience, and he + read it himself to us. A real play, with real characters, + individuals, human beings, it is a good deal after the fashion of + our old playwrights, and does not disgrace its models. I was + delighted with it; it is full of life and originality; a little + long, but that's a trifle. There is a want of clearness and + coherence in the plot, and the comic part has really no necessary + connection with the rest of the piece; but none of that will + signify much, or, I think, prevent it from succeeding. I like the + woman's part exceedingly, but am afraid I shall find it very + difficult to act. + + After dinner there was a universal discussion as to the possibility + and probability of Adorni's self-sacrifice in "The Maid of Honor," + and as the female voices were unanimous in their verdict of its + truth and likelihood, I hold it to be likely and true, for Dante + says we have the "intellect of love," and Cherubino (a very + different kind of authority) says the same thing; and I suppose we + are better judges of such questions than men. The love of Adorni + seems to me, indeed, more like a woman's than a man's, but that + does not tell against its verisimilitude. Our love is characterized + generally by self-devotion and self-denial, but the qualities which + naturally belong to our affection were given to Adorni by his + social and conventional position. He was by birth and fortune + dependent on and inferior to Camiola, as women are by nature + dependent on and inferior to men; and so I think his love for her + has something of a feminine quality. + + In the evening went with my mother to a party at old Lady Cork's. + We started for our assembly within a few minutes of Sunday morning. + Such rooms--such ovens! such boxes full of fine folks and foul air! + in which we stood and sat, and looked and listened, and talked + nonsense and heard it talked, and perspired and smothered and + suffocated. On our arrival, as I was going upstairs, I was nearly + squeezed flat against the wall by her potent grace, the Duchess of + St. Albans. We remained half an hour in the steaming atmosphere of + the drawing-rooms, and another half-hour in the freezing hall + before the carriage could be brought up; caught a dreadful cold and + came home; did not get to bed till two o'clock, with an intolerable + face-ache and tooth-ache, the well-earned reward of a well-spent + evening. + +[The career of the Duchess of St. Albans was, as far as worldly +circumstances went, a curious one. As Miss Mellon she was one of my +mother's stage contemporaries; a kind-hearted, good-humored, buxom, +rather coarse actress, with good looks, and good spirits of a somewhat +unrefined sort, which were not without their admirers; among these the +old banker, Mr. Coutts, married her, and dying, left her the sole +possessor and disposer of his enormous wealth. My mother, who had always +remained on friendly though not intimate terms with her old stage-mate, +went to see her in the early days of her widowhood, when Mrs. Coutts +gave her this moderate estimate of her "money matters:" "Ah, I assure +you, dear Mrs. Charles, the reports of what poor, dear Mr. Coutts has +left me are very much exaggerated--not, I really believe, more than a +few hundred thousand pounds. To be sure" (after a dejected pause), +"there's the bank--they say about fifty thousand a year." + +This small fortune and inconsiderable income proved sufficient to the +moderate desires of the young Duke of St. Albans, who married this +destitute widow, who thenceforth took her place (and a large one) in the +British aristocracy, and chaperoned the young Ladies Beauclerc, her +husband's sisters, in society. She was a good-natured woman, and more +than once endeavored to get my father and mother to bring me to her +balls and magnificent parties. This, however, they steadily declined, +and she, without resenting it, sent her invitations to my youngest +brother alone, to whom she took a great fancy, and to whose accepting +her civilities no objection was made. At her death she left her great +wealth to Mr. Coutts's granddaughter, Miss Burdett Coutts, the lady +whose excellent use of her riches has made her known all over the world +as one of the most munificently charitable of Fortune's stewards. + +The Duchess of St. Albans was not without shrewd sense and some humor, +though entirely without education, and her sallies were not always in +the best possible taste. Her box at Covent Garden could be approached +more conveniently by crossing the stage than by the entrance from the +front of the house, and she sometimes availed herself of this easier +exit to reach her carriage with less delay. One night when my father had +been acting Charles II., the Duchess of St. Albans crossing her old +work-ground, the stage, with her two companions, the pretty Ladies +Beauclerc, stopped to shake hands with him (he was still in his stage +costume, having remained behind the scenes to give some orders), and +presenting him to her young ladies, said, "There, my dears; there's your +ancestor." I suppose in her earlier day she might not have been a bad +representative of their "ancestress."] + + _Monday, April 25th._--Finished studying Lady Teazle. In the + evening at the theater the house was good, but the audience was + dull and I was in wretched spirits and played very ill. + + Dall was saying that she thought in two years of hard work we + might--that is, my father and myself--earn enough to enable us to + live in the south of France. This monstrous theater and its + monstrous liabilities will banish us all as it did my uncle Kemble. + But that I should be sorry to live so far out of the reach of + H----, I think the south of France would be a pleasant abode: a + delicious climate, a quiet existence, a less artificial state of + society and mode of life, a picturesque nature round me, and my own + dear ones and my scribbling with me--I think with all these + conditions I could be happy enough in the south of France or + anywhere. + + The audience were very politically inclined, applied all the loyal + speeches with fervor, and called for "God save the King" after the + play. The town is illuminated, too, and one hopes and prays that + the "Old Heart of Oak" will weather these evil days, but sometimes + the straining of the tackle and the creaking of the timbers are + suggestive of foundering even to the most hopeful. The lords have + been vindicating their claim to a share in _common_ humanity by + squabbling like fishwives and all but coming to blows; the bishops + must have been scared and scandalized, lords spiritual not being + fighting men nowadays. + + After the play Mr. Stewart Newton, the painter, supped with us--a + clever, entertaining man and charming artist; a little bit of a + dandy, but probably he finds it politic to be so. He told us some + comical anecdotes about the Royal Academy and the hanging of the + pictures. + + The poor, dear king [William IV.], who it seems knows as much about + painting as _una vacca spagnuola_, lets himself, his family, and + family animals be painted by whoever begs to be allowed that honor. + So when the pictures were all hung the other day, somebody + discovered in a wretched daub close to the ceiling a portrait of + Lady Falkland [the king's daughter], and another of his Majesty's + favorite _cat_, which were immediately _lowered_ to a more + honorable position, to accomplish which desirable end, Sir William + Beechey [then president of the academy] removed some of his own + paintings. On a similar occasion during the late King George IV.'s + life, a wretched portrait of him having been placed in one of the + most conspicuous situations in the room, the Duke of Wellington and + sundry other distinguished _cognoscenti_ complimented Sir Thomas + Lawrence on it _as his_; this was rather a bitter pill, and must + have been almost too much for Lawrence's courtierly equanimity. + + _Wednesday, April 27th._--To the riding school, where Miss + Cavendish and I discoursed on the _stay-at-home_ sensation, and + agreed that it is bad to encourage it too far, as one may narrow + one's social circle till at last it resolves itself into _one's + self_. + + Wrote to thank Dr. Thackeray [provost of King's College, Cambridge, + and father of my life-long friend A---- T----] for the Shakespeare + he has sent me, and Lady Dacre for her piece of "Wednesday + Morning." In the evening they all drove out in the open carriage to + see the illuminations; I stayed at home, for the carriage was full + and I had no curiosity about the sight. The town is one blaze of + rejoicing for the Reform Bill triumph; the streets are thronged + with people and choked up with carriages, and the air is flashing + and crashing with rockets and squibs and crackers, to the great + discomfort of the horses. So many R's everywhere that they may + stand for reform, revolution, ruin, just as those who run may + choose to read, or according to the interpretation of every + individual's politics; the most general acceptation in which they + will be taken by the popular understanding will assuredly be _row_. + + _Friday, 29th._--Went off to rehearsal without any breakfast, which + was horrible! but not so horrible as my performance of Lady Teazle + promises to be. If I do the part according to my notion, it will be + mere insipidity, and yet all the traditional pokes and pats with + the fan and _business_ of the part, as it is called, is so + perfectly unnatural to me that I fear I shall execute it with a + doleful bad grace. It seems odd that Sir Peter always wears the + dress of the last century, while the costume of the rest of the + _dramatis personæ_ is quite modern. Indeed, mine is a ball dress of + the present day, all white satin and puffs and clouds of white + tulle, and garlands and wreaths of white roses and jasmine; it is + very anomalous, and makes Lady Teazle of no date, as it were, for + her mariners are those of a rustic belle of seventeen hundred and + something, and her costume that of a fine lady of the present day + in the height of the present fashion, which is absurd. + + Mrs. Jameson paid me a long visit; she threatens to write a play; + perhaps she might; she is very clever, has a vast fund of + information, a good deal of experience, and knowledge and + observation of the world and society. She wanted me to have spent + the evening with her on the 23d, Shakespeare's birth and death day, + an anniversary all English people ought to celebrate. Lady Dacre + called, in some tribulation, to say that she had committed herself + about her little piece of "Wednesday Morning," and that Lady + Salisbury, who wants it for Hatfield, does not like its being + brought out on the stage. + + Lady Dacre says Lady Salisbury is "afraid of comparisons" (between + herself and me, in the part), _I_ think Lady Salisbury, would not + like "our play" to be made "common and unclean" by vulgar + publicity. In the evening I went to the theater to see a new comedy + by a Spaniard. The house was literally empty, which was encouraging + to all parties. The piece is slightly constructed in point of plot, + but the dialogue is admirably written, and, as the work of a + foreigner, perfectly surprising. I was introduced to Don Telesforo + de Trueba, the author, an ugly little young man, all hair and + glare, whiskers and spectacles; he must be very clever and well + worth knowing, Mr. Harness took tea with us after the play. + +[The comedy, in five acts, of "The Exquisites" was a satirical piece +showing up the ridiculous assumption of affected indifference of the +young dandies of the day. The special airs of impertinence by which +certain officers of a "crack" regiment distinguished themselves had +suggested several of the most telling points of the play, which was in +every respect a most remarkable performance for a foreigner.] + + _Saturday, April 30th._--Received a letter from John; he has + determined not to leave Spain at present; and were he to return, + what is there for him to do here? In the evening to Mrs. C----'s + ball; it was very gay, but I am afraid I am turning "exquisite," + for I didn't like the music, and my partners bored me, and the + dancing tired me, and my journal is getting like K----'s head--full + of naked facts, unclothed with a single thought. + + _Sunday, May 1st._--As sulky a day as ever _glouted_ in an English + sky. The "young morn" came picking her way from the east, leading + with her a dripping, draggled May, instead of Milton's glorious + vision. + + After church, sundry callers: Mr. C---- bringing prints of the + dresses for "Hernani," and the W----s, who seem in a dreadful + fright about the present state of the country. I do not suppose + they would like to see Heaton demolished. + + In the evening we went to the Cartwrights'. It is only in the + morning that one goes there to be tortured; in the evening it is to + eat delicious dinners and hear delightful music. + + Hummel, Moscheles, Neukomm, Horsley, and Sir George Smart, and how + they did play! _à l'envi l'un de l'autre_. They sang, too, that + lovely glee, "By Celia's Arbor." The thrilling shudder which sweet + music sends through one's whole frame is a species of acute + pleasure, very nearly akin to pain. I wonder if by any chance there + is a point at which the two are one and the same thing! + + _Tuesday, May 3d._--I wrote the fourth scene of the fifth act of my + play ["The Star of Seville"], and acted Lady Teazle for the first + time; the house was very good, and my performance, as I expected, + very bad; I was as flat as a lady amateur. I stayed after the play + to hear Braham sing "Tom Tug," which was a refreshment to my spirit + after my own acting; after I came home, finished the fifth act of + "The Star of Seville." "Joy, joy for ever, my task is done!" I have + not the least idea, though, that "heaven is won." + + _Wednesday, May 4th._--A delightful dinner at the B----s', but in + the evening a regular crush; however, if one is to be squeezed to + death (though 'tis an abolished form of torture), it may as well be + in good company, among the fine world, and lots of pleasant people + besides: Milman, Sotheby, Lockhart, Sir Augustus Calcott, Harness, + Lady Dacre, Joanna Baillie, Lady Calcott, etc. + + _Friday, May 6th._--Real March weather: cold, piercing, damp, + wretched, in spite of which I carried Shakespeare to walk with me + in the square, and read all over again for the fiftieth time all + the conjectures of everybody about him and his life. How little we + know _about him_, how intimately we seem to know _him_! I had the + square all to myself, and it was delicious: lilac, syringa, + hawthorn, lime blossoms, and new-mown grass in the midst of + London--and Shakespeare to think about. How grateful I felt for so + much enjoyment! When I got home, corrected the proof-sheets of + "Francis I.," and thought it looked quite pretty in print. + + Out so late dancing, Wednesday and Thursday nights, or rather + _mornings_, that I had no time for journal-writing. What a life I + do lead! + + _Friday, May 13th._--At twelve o'clock to Bridgewater House for our + first rehearsal of "Hernani." Lady Francis wants us to go down to + them at Oatlands. I should like of all things to see Weybridge once + more; there's many a nook and path in those woods that I know + better than their owners. The rehearsal lasted till three, and was + a tolerably tidy specimen of amateur acting. Mr. Craven is really + very good, and I shall like to act with him very much, and Mr. St. + Aubin is very fair. Was introduced to Mrs. Bradshaw, whose looks + rather disappointed me, because she "did contrive to make herself + look so beautiful" on the stage, in Clari and Mary Copp and + everything she did; I suppose her exquisite acting got into her + face, somehow. Henry Greville is delightful, and I like him very + much. When we left Bridgewater House we drove to my aunt Siddons's. + Every time I see that magnificent ruin some fresh decay makes + itself apparent in it, and one cannot but feel that it must soon + totter to its fall. + + What a price she has paid for her great celebrity!--weariness, + vacuity, and utter deadness of spirit. The cup has been so highly + flavored that life is absolutely without savor or sweetness to her + now, nothing but tasteless insipidity. She has stood on a pinnacle + till all things have come to look flat and dreary; mere shapeless, + colorless, level monotony to her. Poor woman! what a fate to be + condemned to, and yet how she has been envied, as well as admired! + + After dinner had only just time to go over my part and drive to the + theater. My dear, delightful Portia! The house was good, but the + audience dull, and I acted dully to suit them; but I hope my last + dress, which was beautiful, consoled them. What with sham business + and real business, I have had a busy day. + + _Saturday, May 14th._--Received a note from Theodosia [Lady + Monson], and a whole cargo of delicious flowers from Cassiobury. + She writes me that poor old Foster [an old cottager who lived in + Lord Essex's park and whom my friend and I used to visit] is dying. + The last I saw of that "Old Mortality" was sitting with him one + bright sunset under his cottage porch, singing to him and dressing + his hat with flowers, poor old man! yet after walking this earth + upward of ninety-seven years the spirit as well as the flesh must + be weary. His cottage will lose half its picturesqueness without + his figure at the door; I wonder who will take care now of the + roses he was so fond of, and the pretty little garden I used to + forage in for lilies of the valley and strawberries! I shall never + see him again, which makes me sad; I was often deeply struck by the + quaint wisdom of that old human relic, and his image is associated + in my thoughts with evening walks and summer sunsets and lovely + flowers and lordly trees, and he will haunt Cassiobury always to + me. I went with my mother to buy my dresses for "Hernani," which + will cost me a fortune and a half. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, Saturday. + MY DEAREST H----, + + You see I have taken your advice, and, moreover, your paper, in + order that, in spite of the dispersion of Parliament and the + unattainability of franks, our correspondence may lose nothing in + bulk, though it must in frequency. I think you are behaving very + shabbily in not writing to me. Are you consulting your own + pleasure, or my purse? I dedicate so much of my income to purposes + which go under the head of "money thrown away;" don't you think the + cost of our correspondence may be added to that without seriously + troubling my conscience? What shall I say to you? "Reform" is on + the tip of my pen, and great as are our private matters of anxiety, + they scarcely outweigh in our minds the national interest that is + engrossing almost every thinking person throughout the country. You + know I am no politician, and my shallow causality and want of + adequate information alike unfit me from understanding, much less + discussing, public questions of great importance; but the present + crisis has aroused me to intense interest and anxiety about the + course events are taking. You can have no conception of the state + of excitement prevailing in London at this moment. The scene in the + House of Lords immediately preceding the dissolution the papers + will have described to you, though if the spectators and + participators in it may be believed, the tumult, the disorder, the + Billingsgate uproar on that occasion would not be easy to describe. + Lord Londonderry, it seems, thought that the days of _faust-recht_ + had come back again, and I fancy more than he are of that opinion. + + An illumination was immediately ordered by the Lord Mayor Donkin + (or _key_, as "t'other side" call him); but, owing to the shortness + of the notice he gave, it seems the show of light was not + satisfactory to the tallow chandler part of the population, so + another was appointed two nights after. My mother and the two + Harrys went out in the open carriage to drive through the streets. + I was depressed and disinclined for sight-seeing, and did not go, + which I regretted afterward, as all strong exhibitions of public + feeling are curious and interesting. They say the crowd was immense + in all the principal thoroughfares, and of the lowest order. They + testified their approbation of the various illuminated devices by + shouts and hurrahs and applause; their displeasure against the + various non-illuminators was more violently manifested by assailing + their houses and breaking their windows. + + Sundry were the glass sacrifices offered at the shrine of + consistent Tory patriotism at the West End of the town. The mottoes + and sentences on some of the illuminations were noteworthy for + their democratic flavor: "The king and the people," "The people of + England," "The glorious dissolution," "The glorious reform," "The + people and the press," "The people's triumph." A man who seemed by + his dress to belong to the very lowest class (a cross apparently + between a scavenger and a rag-seller), with a branch of laurel + waving in his tattered hat, stopped before this last sentence and + exclaimed, "No--they don't yet; but they will." + + I have been having quite a number of holidays at the theater + lately. They have brought out a comedy in which I do not play, and + are going to bring out a sort of historical melodrama on the life + of Bonaparte, so that I think I shall have easy work, if that + succeeds, for the rest of the season. I have just finished + correcting the proof-sheets of "Francis I.," and think it looks + quite pretty in print, and have dedicated it to my mother, which I + hope will please her.... + + Dear H----, this is Saturday, the 14th, and 'tis now exactly three + weeks since I began this letter. I know not what you will think of + this, but, indeed, I am almost worn out with the ceaseless + occupations of one sort and another that are crowded into every + day, and the impossibility of commanding one hour's quiet out of + the twenty-four.... + + I am afraid we shall not come to Ireland this summer, after all, my + dear H----. The Dublin manager and my father have not come to + terms, and I hear Miss Inverarity (a popular singer) is engaged + there, so that I conclude we shall not act there this season. This + is so great a disappointment to me that I cannot say anything + whatever about it. I have been acting Lady Teazle for Mr. Bartley + and my father's benefit. It seems to have pleased the public very + well. Without caring for it much myself, I find it light and + amusing work, and much easier for me than Lady Townley, because it + is a natural and that an entirely artificial character; the whole + tone and manners, too, of Sheridan's rustic belle are much more + within my scope than those of the woman of fashion of Sir John + Vanbrugh's play. + + On Friday we had our first rehearsal of "Hernani," at Bridgewater + House, and I was greatly surprised with some of the acting, which, + allowing for a little want of technical experience, was, in Mr. + Craven's instance, really very good. He is the grandson of old Lady + Craven, the Margravine of Anspach, and enacts the hero of the + piece, which I think he will do very well. The whole play, I think, + will be fairly acted for an amateur performance. Lord and Lady + Francis have pressed my mother very much to go down for a little + while to Oatlands, the beautiful place close to Weybridge, which + belonged to the Duke of York, and of which they have taken a lease. + My mother has accepted their invitation, and looks forward with + great pleasure to revisiting her dear Weybridge. I know a good deal + more of that lovely neighborhood and all its wild haunts than the + present proprietors of Oatlands. Lady Francis is a famous + horsewoman, and told me by way of inducement to go there that we + would gallop all over the country together, which sounded very + pleasant.... + + I called on my aunt Siddons the other day, and was shocked to find + her looking wretchedly ill; she has not yet got rid of the + erysipelas in her legs, and complained of intense headache. Poor + woman! she suffers dreadfully.... Cecilia's life has been one + enduring devotion and self-sacrifice. I cannot help wishing, for + both their sakes, that the period of her mother's infirmity and + physical decay may be shortened. I received a charming letter from + Theodosia yesterday, accompanying a still more charming basketful + of delicious flowers from dear Cassiobury--how much nicer they are + than human beings! I don't believe I belong to man (or woman) kind, + I like so many things--the whole material universe, for + example--better than what one calls one's fellow-creatures. She + told me that old Foster (you remember the old cottager in + Cassiobury Park) was dying. The news contrasted sadly with the + sweet, fresh, living blossoms that it came with. The last time that + I saw that old man I sat with him under his porch on a bright sunny + evening, talking, laughing, winding wreaths round his hat, and + singing to him, and that is the last I shall ever see of him. He + was a remarkable old man, and made a strong impression on my fancy + in the course of our short acquaintance. There was a strong and + vivid _remnant_ of mind in him surviving the contest with ninety + and odd years of existence; his manner was quaint and rustic + without a tinge of vulgarity; he is fastened to my memory by a + certain wreath of flowers and sunset light upon the brook that ran + in front of his cottage, and the smell of some sweet roses that + grew over it, and I shall never forget him. + + I went to the opera the other night and saw Pasta's "Medea" for the + first time. I shall not trouble you with any ecstasies, because, + luckily for you, my admiration for her is quite indescribable; but + I have seen grace and majesty as perfect as I can conceive, and so + saying I close my account of my impressions. I fancied I was + slightly disappointed in Taglioni, whose dancing followed Pasta's + singing, but I suppose the magnificent tragical performance I had + just witnessed had numbed as it were my power of appreciation of + her grace and elegance, and yet she seemed to me like a _dancing + flower_; so you see I must have like her very much. + + God bless you, dear; pray write to me very soon. I want some + consolation for not seeing you, nor the dear girls, nor the sea. I + could think of that fresh, sparkling, fresh looking, glassy sea + till I cried for disappointment. + + Ever yours, + F. A. K. + +The Miss Inverarity mentioned in this letter was a young Scotch singer +of very remarkable talent and promise, who came out at Covent Garden +just at this time. She was one of the tallest women I ever saw, and had +a fine soprano voice as high as herself, and sang English music well. +She was a very great favorite during the short time that I remember her +on the stage. + + MY DEAREST H----, + + My mother has just requested me to talk with A---- about her + approaching first communion, and it troubles me because I fear I + cannot do so satisfactorily to her (I mean my mother) and myself. I + think my feeling about the sacrament, or rather the preparation + necessary for receiving it, is different from hers. It is not so + much to me an awful as a merciful institution. One goes to the + Lord's Table because one is weak and wicked and wretched, not + because one is, or even has striven to be, otherwise. A holy + reverence for the holy rite is indispensable, but not, I think, + such a feeling as would chill us with fear, or cast us down in + despondency. The excess of our poverty and humility is our best + claim to it, and therefore, though the previous "preparations," as + it is rather technically called, may be otherwise beneficial, it + does not seem to me necessary, much less indispensable. Our Lord + did not say, "Cleanse yourselves, amend yourselves, strip + yourselves of your own burdens and come to me;" but, "Come to me + and I will cleanse you, I will cure you, I will help you and give + you rest." It is remembering this that I venture to take the + sacrament, but I know other people, and I believe my mother among + them, think a much more specific preparation necessary, and I am + afraid, therefore, that I might not altogether meet my mother's + views in what I might say to A---- upon the subject. I wish you + would tell me what your opinion and feeling is about this. + + Your affectionate F. A. K. + + + _Sunday, May 15th._--Walked home from church with Mrs. Montagu and + Emily and Mrs. Procter, discussing among various things the + necessity for "preparation" before taking the sacrament. I suppose + the publican in the parable had not prepared his prayer, and I + suppose he would have been a worthy communicant. + + They came in and sat a long time with my mother talking about Sir + Thomas Lawrence, of whom she spoke as a perfect riddle. I think he + was a dangerous person, because his experience and genius made him + delightfully attractive, and the dexterity of his flattery amounted + in itself to a fine art. The talk then fell upon the possibility of + friendship existing between men and women without sooner or later + degenerating, on one part or the other, into love. The French + rhymster sings-- + + "Trop tot, hélas, l'amour s'enflamme, + Et je sens qu'il est mal aisé; + Que l'ami d'une belle dame, + Ne soit un amant déguisé." + + My father came in while the ladies were still here, and Mrs. + Procter behaved admirably well about her husband's play.... + + I do think it is too bad of the management to have made use of my + name in rejecting that piece, when, Heaven knows, so far from + _rejecting_, I never even _object_ to anything I am bidden to do; + that is, never visibly or audibly.... + + Mrs. P---- called, and the talk became political and lugubriously + desponding, and I suddenly found myself inspired with a + contradictory vein of hopefulness, and became vehement in its + defense. In spite of all the disastrous forebodings I constantly + have, I cannot but trust that the spread of enlightenment and + general progress of intelligence in the people of this country--the + good judgment of those who have power and the moderation of those + who desire improvement--will effect a change without a _crash_ and + achieve reform without revolution. + + _Wednesday, May 18th._--My mother and I started at two o'clock for + Oatlands. The day was very enjoyable, for the dust and mitigated + east wind were in our backs; the carriage was open, and the sun was + almost too powerful, though the earth has not yet lost its first + spring freshness, nor the trees, though full fledged, their early + vivid green. The turf has not withered with the heat, and the + hawthorn lay thick and fragrant on every hedge, like snow that the + winter had forgotten to melt, and the sky above was bright and + clear, and I was very happy. I had taken "The Abbot" with me, which + I had never read; but my mother did not sleep, so we chatted + instead of my reading. She recalled all our former times at + Weybridge. It was a great pleasure to retrace this well-known road, + and again to see dear old Walton Bridge and the bright, broad + Thames, with the noble chestnut trees on its banks, the smooth, + smiling fields stretching beyond it, and the swans riding in such + happy majesty on its bosom. I really think I do deserve to live in + the country, it is so _delightsome_ to me. We reached Oatlands an + hour before dinner-time and found the party just returned from + riding. We sauntered through part of the grounds to the cemetery of + the Duchess of York's dogs.... We had some music in the evening. + Lady Francis sang and I sang, and was frightened to death, as I + always am when asked to do so.... + + _Thursday, 19th._--A bright sunny morning, the trees all bowing and + bending, and the water chafing and crisping under a fresh, strong, + but not cold, wind. I lost my way in the park and walked toward + Walton, thinking I was going to Weybridge, but, discovering my + mistake, turned about, and crossing the whole park came out upon + the common and our old familiar cricketing ground. I flew along the + dear old paths to our little cottage, but "Desolate was the + dwelling of Morna"--the house closed, the vine torn down, the grass + knee-deep, the shrubs all trailing their branches and blossoms in + disorderly luxuriance on the earth, the wire fence broken down + between the garden and the wood, the gate gone; the lawn was sown + with wheat, and the little pine wood one tangled maze, without + path, entrance, or issue. I ran up the mound to where John used to + stand challenging the echo with his bugle.... + + O tempo passato!--the absent may return and the distant be brought + near, the dead be raised and in another world rejoin us, but a day + that is gone is gone, and all eternity can give us back no single + minute of the past! I gathered a rose and some honeysuckle from the + poor disheveled shrubs for my mother, and ran back to Oatlands to + breakfast. After breakfast we went over "Hernani," with Mrs. + Sullivan for prompter, and when that was over everybody went out + walking; but I was too tired with my morning's tramp, and sat under + a tree on the lawn reading a very good little book on the + sacrament, which went over the ground of my late discussion with + Mrs. Montagu and Mrs. Procter on the subject of "preparation" for + taking it. + + After lunch there was a general preparation for riding, and just as + we were all mounted it began to rain, and persevered till, in + despair, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan rode off without our promised + escort. Mr. C---- arrived just as we had disequipped, and the + gentlemen all dispersed. Lady Francis and I sang together for some + time, and suddenly the clouds withholding their tears, she and I, + in one of those instants of rapid determination which sometimes + make or mar a fate, tore on our habits again, jumped on our horses, + and galloped off together over the park. We had an enchanting, + gray, soft afternoon, with now and then a rain-drop and sigh of + wind, like the last sob of a fit of crying. The earth smelt + deliriously fresh, and shone one glittering, sparkling, vivid + green. Our ride was delightful, and we galloped back just in time + to dress for dinner. + + In the evening, sauntering on the lawn and pleasant, bright talk + indoors. Lord John (the present venerable Earl Russell) would be + quite charming if he wasn't so afraid of the rain. I do not think + he is made of sugar, but, politically, perhaps he is the salt of + the earth; he certainly succeeds in keeping himself _dry_. + + _Friday, Oatlands._--Walked out before breakfast; the night's rain + had refreshed the earth and revived every growing thing, the east + wind had blown itself away, and a warm, delicious western breeze + came fluttering fitfully over the new-mown lawn. After breakfast we + rehearsed Mr. Craven's and Captain Shelley's and my scenes in + "Hernani." I think they will do very well if they do not shy at the + moment of action, or rather acting. We had some music, and then the + gentlemen went out shooting. I took "The Abbot" and established + myself on a hay-cock, leaving Lady Francis to her own indoor + devices. By and by the whole party came out, and we sat on the lawn + laughing and talking till the gentlemen's carriage was announced, + and our rival heroes took their departure for town, cheek by jowl, + in a pretty equipage of Mr. Craven's, in the most amicable mood + imaginable. As soon as they were off we mounted and rode out, past + our old cottage, down by Brooklands, through the second wood, and + by the Fairies' Oak. O Lord King, Lord King (we were riding through + the property of the Earl of Lovelace, then Lord King), if I was one + of those bishops whom you do not love, I would curse, + excommunicate, and anathematize you for cutting down all those + splendid trees and laying bare those deep, dark, leafy nooks, the + haunts of a thousand "Midsummer Night's Dreams," to the common air + and the staring sun. The sight of the dear old familiar paths + brought the tears to my eyes, for, stripped and thinned of their + trees and robbed of their beauty, my memory restored all their + former loveliness. On we went down to Byefleet to the mill, to + Langton's through the sweet, turfy meadows, by hawthorn hedges + musical as sweet, over the picturesque little bridge and along that + deep, dark, sleepy water flowing so silently in its sullen + smoothness. On we went a long way over a wide common, where the + coarse-grained peaty earth and golden glory of the flowering gorse + reminded me of Suffolk's motto-- + + "Cloth of gold, do not despise + That thou art mix'd with cloth of frieze; + Cloth of frieze, be not too bold + That thou art mix'd with cloth of gold." + + Back by St. George's Hill, snatching many a leaf and blossom as I + rode to carry back to A---- mementoes of our dear Weybridge days, + and so home by half-past seven, just time to dress for dinner. As + we rode along, Lord Francis and I discussed poets and poetry _in + general_--more particularly Byron, Keats, and Shelley; it was a + very pretty and proper discourse for such a ride. + + In the evening heard all manner of delicious ghost stories; + afterward made music, Lady Francis and I trying all sorts of duets, + my mother keeping up a "humming" third and Lord Francis listening + and applauding with equal zeal and discretion.... + + _Saturday, May 21st._--My brother John come home from Spain.... + + _Sunday, 22d._--What a very odd process dreaming is! I _dreamt_ in + the night that John had come home, and flung myself out of bed in + my sleep to run downstairs to him, which naturally woke me; and + then I remembered that he was come home and that I had seen and + welcomed him, which it seems to me I might as well have dreamed too + while I was about it, and saved myself the jump out of bed. I hate + dreaming; it's like being mad--having one's brain work without the + control of one's will. + + Dear A---- took the sacrament for the first time at the Swiss + church. On my return from church in the afternoon found Sir Ralph + and Lady Hamilton and Don Telesforo de Trueba. I like that young + Spaniard; he's a clever man. It was such fun his telling me all the + story of the Star of Seville, little imagining I had just + perpetrated a five-act tragedy on that identical subject. + + _Tuesday, May 24th._--Drove down to Clint's studio to see Cecilia's + (Siddons's) portrait. It's a pretty picture of a "fine piece of a + woman," as the Italians say, but it has none of the very decided + character of her face.... + + _Wednesday, May 25th._--After dinner went over my part, dressed and + set off for Bridgewater House for our dressed rehearsal of + "Hernani." Found the stage in a state of _unfinish_, the house + topsy-turvy, and every body to the right and left. Sat for an hour + in the drawing-room while our very specially small and select + audience arrived. Then heard Lady Francis, Henry Greville, Mrs. + Bradshaw, and Mr. Mitford try their glee--one of Moore's melodies + arranged for four voices--which they sang at the top of their lungs + in order to hear themselves, while the carpenters and joiners + hammered might and main at the other end of the gallery finishing + the theater. + + About nine they were getting under way, and we presently began the + rehearsal. The dresses were all admirable; they (not the clothes, + but the clothes pegs) were all horribly frightened. I was a little + nervous and rather sad, and I felt strange among all those foolish + lads, taking such immense delight in that which gives me so very + little, dressing themselves up and acting. To be sure, "nothing + pleaseth but rare accidents." Mr. M----, our prompter, thought fit + by way of prompting to keep up a rumbling bass accompaniment to our + speaking by reading every word of the play aloud, as the singers + are prompted at the opera house, which did not tend much to our + assistance. Everything went very smoothly till an unlucky young + "mountaineer" rushed on the stage and terrified me and Hernani half + to death by _in_articulating some horrible intelligence of the + utmost importance to us, which his fright rendered quite + incomprehensible. He stood with his arms wildly spread abroad, + stuttering, sputtering, madly ejaculating and gesticulating, but + not one articulate word could he get out. I thought I should have + exploded with laughter, but as the woman said who saw the murder, + "I knew I mustn't (faint), and I didn't." With this trifling + exception it all went off very well. Either I was fagged with my + morning's ride or the constitution of the gallery is bad for the + voice; I never felt so exhausted with the mere effort of speaking, + and thought I should have died prematurely and in earnest in the + last scene, I was so tired. When it was over we adjourned with Lord + and Lady Francis and the whole _dramatis personæ_ to Mrs. W----'s + magnificent house and splendid supper.... + + While we were at table everybody suddenly stood up, my mother and + myself reverently with the rest, when the whole company drank my + health, and I collapsed down into my chair as red and as _limp_ as + a skein of scarlet wool, and my mother with some confusion + expressed my obligation and her own surprise at the compliment. I + talked a good deal to Captain Shelley, who is a nice lad, and, + considering his beauty, and the admiration bestowed on him by all + the fine ladies in London, remarkably unaffected. We are asked down + to Oaklands again, and I hope my work at the theater will allow of + my going. What a shocking mess those young gentlemen actors did + make of their greenroom this evening, to be sure! rouge, swords, + wine, mustaches, soda water, and cloaks strewed in every direction. + I wonder what they would say to the drawing-room decorum of our + Covent Garden greenroom. + + _Thursday, May 26th._--Tried on dresses with Mrs. Phillips, and + talked all the while about the characteristics of Shakespeare's + women with Mrs. Jameson, who had come to see me. I pity her from + the bottom of my heart; she has a heavy burden to carry, poor + woman.... Went in the evening to rather a dull dinner, after which, + however, I had the pleasure of hearing Mrs. Frere sing, which she + did very charmingly, and so as quite to justify her great society + musical reputation. After our dinner at the F----s' we went to Mrs. + W----'s evening party, where I sat alone, heard somebody sing a + song, was introduced to a man, spoke incoherently to several + people, got up, was much jostled in a crowd of human beings, and + came home--and that's society. We are asked to a great supper at + Chesterfield House, after a second representation which is to be + given of "Hernani." My mother thinks it is too much exertion and + dissipation for me, and as it is not a ball I do not care to go. + + _Friday, May 27th._--At eight o'clock drove with my mother to + Bridgewater House. We went into the library, where there was + nobody, and Lady Francis, Henry Greville, and Lady Charlotte came + and sat with us. I was literally crying with fright. Lady Francis + took me to my dressing-room, my mother rouged me, blessed me, and + went off to join the audience assembled in the great gallery. I + went over my part once and my room a hundred times in every + direction. At nine they began; the audience very wisely were + totally in the dark, which threw out the brilliantly illuminated + stage to great advantage, and considering that they were the finest + folk in England they behaved remarkably well--listened quietly and + attentively, and applauded like Covent Garden galleries. It all + went well except poor Mr. Craven's first speech, in which he got + out. I don't know whether Lady L---- was among the spectators, and + gave him _des éblouissements_. It all went off admirably, however, + and oh, how glad I was when it was over! + + _Saturday, May 28th._--I was awakened by a basket of flowers from + Cassiobury, and a letter from Theodosia. Old Foster is dead. I wish + he might be buried near the cottage. I should like to know where to + think of his resting-place, poor old man!... + + In the evening Mrs. Jameson, the Fitzhughs, R---- P----, and a Mr. + K----, a friend of John's, and sundry and several came.... We acted + charades, and they all went away in high good humor. + + _Sunday, May 29th._--An "eternal, cursed, cold, and heavy rain," as + Dante sings. My mother, A----, and I went to the Swiss church; the + service is shorter and more unceremonious than I like; that sitting + to sing God's praise, and standing to pray to Him, is displeasing + to all my instincts of devotion. + + After church my mother was reading Milton's treatise on Christian + doctrine, and read portions of it aloud to me. I always feel afraid + of theological or controversial writings, and yet the faith that + shrinks from being touched lest it should totter is certainly not + on the right foundation. I suppose we ought, on the contrary, to + examine thoroughly the reason of the faith that is in us. Declining + reading upon religious subjects may be prudent, but it may be + indolence, cowardice, or lack of due interest in the matter. I + think I must read that treatise of Milton's. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, May 29th, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I have but little time for letter-writing, getting daily "deeper + and deeper still" in the incessant occupations of one sort and + another that crowd upon and almost overwhelm me; and now my care is + not so much whether I shall have time to write you a long letter, + as how I shall get leisure to write to you at all. You complain + that, in spite of the present interest I profess in public affairs, + I have given you no details of my opinion about them--my hopes or + fears of the result of the Reform movement. I have other things + that I care more to write to you about than politics, and am chary + of my space, because, though I can cross my letter, I can only have + one sheet of paper. "The Bill," modified as it now is, has my best + prayers and wishes, for to say that the removal of certain abuses + will not give the people bread which they expect is nothing against + it; but, at the same time that I sincerely hope this measure will + be carried, I cannot conceive what Government will do _next_, for + though trade is at this moment prosperous, great poverty and + discontent exist among large classes of the people, and as soon as + these needy folk find out that Reform is really not immediate bread + _and_ cheese _and_ beer, they will seek something else which they + may imagine will be those desired items of existence, and that is + what it may be difficult to give them. In the mean time party + spirit here has reached a tremendous pitch; old friendships are + broken up and old intimacies cease; former cordial acquaintances + refuse to meet each other, houses are divided, and the dearest + relations disturbed, if not destroyed. Society is become a sort of + battle-field, for every man (and woman too) is nothing if not + political. In fact, there really appears to be no middle or + moderating party, which I think strange and to be deplored. It + seems as if it were a mere struggle between the nobility and the + mobility, and the middle-class--that vast body of good sense, + education, and wealth, and efficient to hold the beam even between + the scales--throws itself man by man into one or the other of them, + and so only swells the adverse parties on each side. + + Parliament meets again in a few days, and then comes the tug of + war. Lord John Russell was at Oatlands while we were there, and as + the Francis Egertons and their guests were all anti-Reformers, they + led him rather a hard life. He bore all their attacks with great + good humor, however, and with the well-satisfied smile of a man who + thinks himself on the right, and knows himself on the safe side, + and wisely forbore to reply to their sallies. Our visit there was + delightful. + + As the distance is but one and twenty miles, my mother and I posted + down in the open carriage. The only guests we found on our arrival + were Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan (she is a daughter of Lady Dacre's, and + a charming person), Lord John Russell, and two of our _corps + dramatique_, Mr. Craven and Captain Shelley, son of Sir John + Shelley, a handsome, good-humored, pleasant young gentleman, who + acts Charles V. in "Hernani." I got up very early the first morning + I was there and went down before breakfast to our little old + cottage. In the lane leading to it I met a poor woman who lived + near us, and whom we used to employ. I spoke to her, but she did + not know me again. I wonder if these four years can have changed me + so much? The tiny house had not been inhabited since we lived + there.... My aunt Siddons is better, and Cecy very well. + + Your affectionate + F. A. K. + +[The beautiful domain of Oatlands was only rented at this time by Lord +Francis Egerton, who delighted so much in it that he made overtures for +the purchase of it. The house was by no means a good one, though it had +been the abode of royalty; but the park was charming, and the whole +neighborhood, especially the wooded ranges of St. George's Hill, +extremely wild and picturesque.... Lord Francis Egerton bought St. +George's Hill, at the foot of which he built Hatchford, Lady Ellesmere's +charming dower house and residence after his death, and the house of +Oatlands became a country inn, very pleasant to those who had never +known it as the house of former friends, and therefore did not meet +ghosts in all its rooms and garden walks; and the park was cut up into +small villa residences and rascally inclined citizen's boxes. Hatchford, +the widowed home of Lady Ellesmere and burial-place of her brother, to +whose memory she erected there an elaborate mausoleum, has passed out of +the family possessions and become the property of strangers. One son of +the house lives on St. George's Hill, and has his home where I have so +often drawn rein while riding with his father and mother to look over +the wild, wooded slopes to the smiling landscape stretching in sunny +beauty far below us.] + + _Monday, May 30th._ ... The Francis Egertons called, and sat a long + time discussing "Hernani." ... I must record such a good pun of + his, which he only, alas, _dreamt_. He dreamt Lord W---- came up to + him, covered with gold chains and ornaments of all sorts, and that + he had called him the "Chain Pier." ... In the evening to + Bridgewater House. As soon as we arrived, I went to my own private + room, and looked over my part. We began at nine. Our audience was + larger than the last time. The play went off extremely well; we + were all improved. I was very anxious to play well, for the + Archbishop of York was in the front row, and he (poor gentleman!) + had never had the happiness of seeing me, the play-house being + forbidden ground to him. [This seems rather inconsistent, as all + the lesser clergy at this time frequented the theater without fear + or reproach. Dr. Hughes, the Very Reverend Prebend of St. Paul's, + Milman, Harness, among our own personal friends, were there + constantly, not to speak of my behind-the-scenes acquaintance, the + Rev. A.F.] I should like to seduce an old Archbishop into a liking + for the wickedness of my mystery, so I did my very best to edify + him, according to my kind and capacity.... At the end of the play, + as I lay dead on the stage, the king (Captain Shelley) was cutting + three great capers, like Bayard on his field of battle, for joy his + work was done, when his pretty dancing shoes attracted, in spite of + my decease, my attention, and I asked, with rapidly reviving + interest in existence, what they meant, on which I was informed + that the supper at Mrs. Cunliffe's was indeed a ball. I jumped up + from the dead, hurried off my stage robes, and hurried on my + private apparel, and followed my mother into the saloon. Here I had + delightful talk (though I believe I was dancing on my mind's feet + all the while) with Lord John Russell, Miss Berry, Lady Charlotte + Lindsay, and that charming person, James Wortley, and I got a + glimpse of Lord O----'s lovely face, who is a beautiful creature. + After being duly stared at by the crowds of my exalted + fellow-beings who filled the room, Lady Francis said she would send + them away, and we adjourned to Mrs. Cunliffe's, and had a very fine + ball; that is to say, we had neither room to dance, nor space to + sit, nor power to move. + + "Oh, pleasure is a very pleasant thing," as Byron sings and H---- + for ever says, and certainly a good ball is a pleasant thing, and + in spite of the above drawbacks I was enchanted with everything. + Such shoals of partners! such nice people! such perfect music! such + a delightful floor! Danced till the day had one eye wide open, and + then home to bed--what a good thing it is to have one under the + circumstances! I hope I have not been very tipsy to-night, but it + is difficult with so many stimulants to keep _quite_ sober. Broad + daylight! Six o'clock! + + _Tuesday, May 21st._--My feet ache so with dancing that I can + hardly stand. Did not some traditional princesses of German + fairyland dance their shoes and stockings to pieces? + + Going into the drawing-room I found my darling Dr. Combe there, and + if I had not been so tired I must have made a jump at his neck, I + was so very glad to see him. He brought me a letter from Mr. Combe, + whom I love only one step lower. He sat with us but a short time, + and leaves town to-morrow, which I am sorry for, first, because I + should like to have seen him again so very much, and next, because + I should have been glad that my mother became better acquainted + with the mental charms and seductions of the man whose outward + appearance seems to have allayed some of her apprehensions for the + safety of my heart and those of my Edinburgh cousins. Mrs. W---- + called soon after. She is intent upon my acting Mlle. Mar's part in + "Henri Trois." I can do nothing with any French part in Covent + Garden. If they can find a theater of half that size to get it up + in, well and good; but seen from a distance, which defies + discrimination of objects, a thistle is as good as a rose, and in + that enormous frame refinement is mere platitude, and finish of + detail an unnecessary minutia. + + We went to the theater to see a new piece, I believe by Mrs. + Norton. The pit and galleries were very indifferent; the dress + circle and private boxes full of fine folk. Lady St. Maur + (Georgiana Sheridan, Mrs. Norton's youngest sister, afterward + Duchess of Somerset and Queen of Beauty) and her husband, with + Corinne and Mr. Norton, in a box opposite ours. What a terrible + piece! what atrocious situations and ferocious circumstances! + tinkering, starving, hanging--like a chapter out of the Newgate + Calendar. But, after all, she's in the right; she has given the + public what they desire, given them what they like. Of course it + made one cry horribly; but then of course one cries when one hears + of people reduced by sheer craving to eat nettles and + cabbage-stalks. Destitution, absolute hunger, cold and nakedness, + are no more subjects for artistic representation than sickness, + disease, and the _real_ details of idiotcy, madness, and death. All + art should be an idealized; elevated representation (not imitation) + of nature; and when beggary and low vice are made the themes of the + dramatist, as in this piece, or of the poet, as in the works of + Crabbe, they seem to me to be clothing their inspirations in wood + or lead, or some base material, instead of gold or ivory. The clay + of the modeler is more _real_, but the marble of the sculptor is + the clay glorified. In Crabbe's writings one has at least the + comfort and consolation of a high moral sense, charming + versification, and an occasional tender, exquisite expression of + the beauties of nature. Our play to-night could not boast of these + _alleviations_. + + _Wednesday, June 1st._--At the riding school saw Miss C----, who + wants me to get the play changed at Covent Garden _for this + evening_--"rien que cela!" What a fine thing it is to be "one of + those people!" They fancy that anybody's business of any sort can + be postponed to the first whim that enters their head. My mother + came with Dr. Combe in the carriage to fetch me from the riding + school. At home found a note from Lady Francis and the epilogue + Lord Francis has written to "Hernani," which I am certainly bound + to like, for it is highly complimentary to me. + + I went to the real theater in the evening to do real work. The + house was good, but I played like a wretch--ranted, roared, and + acted altogether infamously. The fact was I was tired to death, and + of course violence always has to supply the place of strength. + Unluckily all the F----s were there, and I felt sorry for them. To + be sure, they had never seen "The Hunchback" before, and I should + think would heartily desire never to see it again; my performance + was shameful. + + _Thursday, June 2d._--Mr. Hayter called. Lord Francis has spoken to + him about the picture he wishes him to do of me, and he came to + take the position, and I gave him his choice of three or four. I + dare say he will make a very pretty picture. As for my likeness, + that _I_ am not hopeful about. I have gone through the operation in + vain so very often. Murray has sent me some beautiful and + delightful books.... A third representation of "Hernani" is called + for, it seems, and, as far as I am concerned, they are welcome to + it; but Lady Francis came to say that the Duchess of Gloucester + wants it to be acted on the 23d, and I am afraid that will not do + for my theater arrangements; they must try and have it earlier, if + possible. Lady Francis has half bribed me with a ball. They want us + to go down to Oatlands for Saturday and Sunday, and I hope we may + be able to manage it.... After Lady F---- was gone, my mother had a + visit from Mrs. B----; her manner is bad, her matter is good. She + is clever and excellent, and I have a great respect for her. She + interested me immensely by her account of Mrs. Fry's visits to + Newgate. What a blessed, happy woman to do so much good; to be the + means of comfort and consolation, perhaps of salvation, to such + desolate souls! How I did honor and love what I heard of her. Mrs. + B---- said Mrs. Fry would be delighted to take me with her some day + when she went to the prison. My mother laughingly said she was + afraid Mrs. Fry would convert me--surely not to Quakerism. I do not + think I need a new faith, but power to act up to the one I profess. + I need no Quaker saint to tell me I do not do that. + +[I had the great honor of accompanying Mrs. Fry in one of her visits to +Newgate, but from various causes received rather a painful impression +instead of the very different one I had anticipated. Her divine labor of +love had become _famous_, and fine ladies of fashion pressed eagerly to +accompany her, or be present at the Newgate exhortations. The +unfortunate women she addressed were ranged opposite their less +excusable sister sinners of the better class, and I hardly dared to look +at them, so entirely did I feel out of my place by the side of Mrs. Fry, +and so sick for their degraded attitude and position. If I had been +alone with them and their noble teacher I would assuredly have gone and +sat down among them. On the day I was there a poor creature sat in the +midst of the congregation attired differently from all the others, who +was pointed out to me as being under sentence of transportation for +whatever crime she committed. Altogether I felt broken-hearted for +_them_ and ashamed for _us_.] + + My mother has had a letter from my father (he was acting in the + provinces), who says he has met and shaken hands with Mr. Harris + (his co-proprietor of Covent Garden, and antagonist in our ruinous + lawsuit about it). I wonder what benefit is to be expected from + that operation with--such a person. + + _Sunday, June 5th._ ... On my return from afternoon service found + Mr. Walpole with my mother; they amused me extremely by a + conversation in which they ran over, as far as their memories would + stretch (near sixty years), the various fashions and absurd modes + of dress which have prevailed during that period. Toupees, fêtes, + toques, bouffantes, hoops, bell hoops, sacques, polonaises, + levites, and all the paraphernalia of horsehair, powder, pomatum, + and pins, in the days when court beauties had their heads dressed + over-night for the next day's drawing-room, and sat up in their + chairs for fear of destroying the edifice by lying down. No wonder + they were obliged to rouge themselves--the days when once in a + fortnight was considered often enough for ridding the hair of its + horrible paste of flour and grease. We are certainly cleaner than + our grandmothers, and much more comfortable, though it is not so + long since my own head was dressed _à la giraffe_, in three bows + over pins half a foot high, so that I could not sit upright in the + carriage without knocking against the top of it. My mother's and + Mr. Walpole's recollections and descriptions were like seeing a set + of historical caricatures pass before one. + + _Monday, June 6th._--The house was very full at the theater this + evening, and Miss C---- sent me round a delicious fresh bouquet. I + acted well, I think; the play was "Romeo and Juliet." It is so very + pleasant to return to Shakespeare, after _reciting_ Bianca and + Isabella, etc. I reveled in the glorious poetry and the bright, + throbbing _reality_ of that Italian girl's existence; and yet + Juliet is nothing like as nice as Portia--_nobody_ is as nice as + Portia. But the oftener I act Juliet the oftener I think it ought + never to be acted at all, and the more absurd it seems to me to try + to act it. After the play my mother sent a note with the carriage + to say she would not go to the ball, so I dressed myself and drove + off with my father from the theater to the Countess de S----'s. At + half-past eleven the ball had not begun. Mrs. Norton was there in + splendid beauty; at about half-past twelve the dancing began, and + it was what is called a very fine ball. While I was dancing with + Mr. C----, I saw my father talking to a handsome and very + magnificent lady, who my partner told me was the Duchess of B----; + after our quadrille, when I rejoined my father, he said to me, + "Fanny, let me present you to ----" here he mumbled something + perfectly inaudible, and I made a courtesy, and the lady smiled + sweetly and said some civil things and went away. "Whose name did + you mention," said I to my father, with some wickedness, "just now + when you introduced me to that lady?" "Nobody's, my dear, nobody's; + I haven't the remotest idea who she is." "The Duchess of B----," + said I, glibly, strong in the knowledge I had just acquired from my + partner. "Bless my soul!" cried the poor man, with a face of the + most ludicrous dismay, "so it was! I had quite forgotten her, + though she was good enough to remember me, and here I have been + talking cross-questions and crooked answers to her for the last + half-hour!" + + Was ever any thing so terrible! I feared my poor father would go + home and remain awake all night, sobbing softly to himself, like + the eldest of the nine Miss Simmonses in the ridiculous novel, + because in her nervous flurry at a great dinner party she had + refused instead of accepting a gentleman's offer to drink wine with + her. Lady G---- then came up, whom he did remember, and who was + "truly gracious;" and I left him consoled, and, I hope, having + forgotten his dreadful duchess again. All the world, as the saying + is, was at this ball, and it certainly was a very fine assembly. We + danced in a splendid room hung with tapestry--a magnificent + apartment, though it seemed to me incongruous for the purpose; dim + burning lights and flitting ghosts and gusts of wind and distant + footfalls and sepulchral voices being the proper _furniture_ of the + "tapestried chamber," and not wax candles, to the tune of sunlight + and bright eyes and dancing feet and rustling silks and gauzes and + laughing voices, and all the shine and shimmer and flaunting + flutter of a modern ball.... + + At half-past two, though the carriage had been ordered at two, my + father told me he would not "spoil sport," and so angelically + stayed till past four. He is the best of fathers, the most + affectionate of parents, the most benevolent of men! There is a + great difference between being chaperoned by one's father instead + of one's mother: the latter, poor dear! never flirts, gets very + sleepy and tired, and wants to go home before she comes; the former + flirts and talks with all the pretty, pleasant women he meets, and + does not care till what hour in the morning--a frame of mind + favorable to much dancing for the _youngers_. After all, I had to + come away in the middle of a delightful mazurka. + + _Tuesday, June 7th._-- ... We had a very pleasant dinner at Mr. + Harness's. Moore was there, but Paganini was the chief subject + discussed, and we harped upon the one miraculous string he fiddles + on without pauses.... After dinner I read one of Miss Mitford's + hawthorny sketches out of "Our Village," which was lying on the + table; they always carry one into fresh air and green fields, for + which I am grateful to them. + + _Wednesday, June 8th._--While I was writing to H---- my mother came + in and told me that Mrs. Siddons was dead. I was not surprised; she + has been ill, and gradually failing for so long.... I could not be + much grieved for myself, for of course I had had but little + intercourse with her, though she was always very kind to me when I + saw her.... She died at eight o'clock this morning--peaceably, and + without suffering, and in full consciousness.... I wonder if she is + gone where Milton and Shakespeare are, to whose worship she was + priestess all her life--whose thoughts were her familiar thoughts, + whose words were her familiar words. I wonder how much more she is + allowed to know of all things now than she did while she was here. + As I looked up into the bright sky to-day, while my father and + mother were sadly recalling the splendor of her day of beauty and + great public power, I thought of the unlimited glory she perhaps + now beheld, of the greater holiness and happiness I trust she now + enjoys, and said in my heart, "It must be well to be as she is." I + had never thought it must be well to be as she _was_.... + + As soon as the news came my father went off to see what he could do + for Cecilia, poor thing, and to bring her here, if she can be + persuaded to leave Baker Street. He was not much shocked, though + naturally deeply grieved by the event; my aunt has now been ill so + long that any day might have brought the termination of the + protracted process of her death. When he returned he said Cecilia + was composed and quiet, but would not leave the house at present. I + have written to Lady Francis to decline going to Oatlands, which we + were to have done this week. + + At dinner my father told me some of the arrangements he has made + for the summer. We are to act at Bristol, Bath, Exeter, Plymouth, + and Southampton. He then said, "Suppose we take steamer thence to + Marseilles, and so on to Naples?" My heart jumped into my mouth at + the thought; but how should I ever come back again?... Everything + here is _so ugly_, even without comparison with that which is + beautiful elsewhere; from Italy how should one come back to live in + London? + + _Thursday, June 9th._-- ... And so I am to act Lady Macbeth! I feel + as if I were standing up by the great pyramid of Egypt to see how + tall I am! However, it must be done; perhaps I may even do it less + ill than Constance--the greater intensity of the character may + perhaps render majesty less _indispensable_. Power (if one had + enough of it) might atone for insufficient dignity. Lady Macbeth + made herself a queen by dint of wickedness; Constance was royal + born--a radical difference, which ought to be in my favor. But + dear, dear, dear, what a frightful undertaking for a poor girl, let + her be never so wicked! + + And _the_ Lady Macbeth will never be seen again! I wish just now + that in honor of my aunt the play might be forbidden to be + performed for the next ten years. My father and myself have a + holiday at the theater--but only for the week--because of Mrs. + Siddons's death, and we are to go down to Oatlands--nobody being + there but ourselves, that is my brother and I--for the rest and + quiet and fresh air of these few days. + + _Friday, June 10th._--Before three the carriage was announced, and + we started for the country. We dropped Henry at Lord Waldegrave's + and had a very pleasant drive, though the day was as various in its + moods as if we were in April instead of June. We arrived at about + six, and found Mr. C---- had been made an exception to the + "positively nobody" who was to meet us.... + + _Saturday, June 11th._--Read the French piece called "Une Faute," + which half killed me with crying. It is exceedingly clever, but + altogether _too_ true, in my opinion, for real art. It is not + dramatic truth, but absolute imitation of life, and instead of the + mitigated emotion which a poetical representation of tragic events + excites, it produces a sense of positive suffering too acutely + painful for an artistic result; it is a perfectly prosaical + reproduction of the familiar vice and its inseparable misery of + modern everyday life; it wants elevation and imagination--aërial + perspective; it is close upon one, and must be agonizing to see + well acted. My studies were certainly not of the most cheerful + order, for after finishing this morbid anatomy of human hearts I + read an article in the _Phrenological Journal_ on Bouilland's + "Anatomy of the Brain," which made me feel as if my brain was stuck + full of pins and needles. + + _Perhaps_ a certain amount of experience must be attained through + experiment, and if the wits of the human species are to be better + understood, governed, and preserved by the results obtained by + cutting and hacking the brains of living animals, _perhaps_ some of + our more immediate mercy is to be sacrificed to our humanity in the + lump; but if this is not the forbidden doing evil that good may + come of it, I do not know what is. One of the effects of Mr. + Bouilland's excruciating experiments on his victims was to turn me + already sick and give me an agonizing pain in _my_ brain. I hope + their beneficial consequences did not end there. + + I did all this reading before breakfast, and when I left my room it + was still too early for any one to be up, so I set off for a run in + the park. The morning was lovely, vivid, and bright, with soft + shadows flitting across the sky and chasing one another over the + sward, while a delicious fresh wind rustled the trees and rippled + the grass; and unable to resist the temptation, bonnetless as I + was, I set off at the top of my speed, running along the terrace, + past the grotto, and down a path where the syringa pelted me with + showers of mock-orange blossoms, till I came under some magnificent + old cedars, through whose black, broad-spread wings the morning sun + shone, drawing their great shadows on the sweet-smelling earth + beneath them, strewed with their russet-colored shedding. I thought + it looked and smelt like a Russia-leather carpet. Then I came to + the brink of the water, to a little deserted fishing pavilion + surrounded by a wilderness of bloom that was once a garden, and + then I ran home to breakfast. After breakfast I went over the very + same ground with Lady Francis, extremely demure, with my bonnet on + my head and a parasol in my hand, and the utmost propriety of + decorous demeanor, and said never a word of my mad morning's + explorings. A girl's run and a young lady's walk are very different + things, and I hold both pleasant in their way. The carriage was + ordered to take my mother to Addlestone to see poor old Mrs. + Whitelock, and during her absence Lady Francis and I repaired to + her own private sitting-room, and we entertained each other with + extracts from our respective journals. I was struck with the high + esteem she expressed for Lord Carlisle; in one place in her journal + she said she wished she could hope her boys would grow up as + excellent men as he is, and this in spite of her party politics, + for she is a Tory and he a Whig, and she is really a partisan + politician. + + In the afternoon, after a charming meandering ride, we determined + to go to Monks Grove, the place Lady Charlotte Greville has taken + on St. Anne's Hill.... In the evening we had terrifical ghost + stories, which held, us fascinated till _one o'clock in the + morning_. + + "The stones done, to bed they creep, + By whispering winds soon lull'd asleep." + + _Sunday, June 12th._-- ... It's nearly five years since I said my + prayers in that dear old little Weybridge church.... + + On our return, as the horses are never used on Sunday, we went down + to the water and got into the boat. The day was lovely, and as we + glided along the bright water my mother and Lady Francis and I + murmured, half voice, all sorts of musical memories, which made a + nice accompaniment to Lord Francis's occasional oar-dip that just + kept the boat in motion. When we landed, my mother returned to the + house, and the rest of us set off for a long delightful stroll to + the farm, where I saw a monstrous and most beautiful dog whom I + should like to have hugged, but that he looked so grave and wise it + seemed like a liberty. We walked on through a part of the park + called America, because of the magnificent rhododendrons and + azaleas and the general wildness of the whole. The mass was so deep + one's feet sank into it; the sun, setting, threw low, slanting rays + along the earth and among the old tree trunks. It was a beautiful + bit of forest scenery; how like America I do not know. Upon the + racecourse we emerged into a full, still afternoon atmosphere of + brilliant and soft splendor; the whole park was flooded with + sunshine, and little creeks of light ran here and there into the + woods we had just left, touching with golden radiance a solitary + tree, and glancing into leafy nooks here and there, while the mass + of woodland was one deep shadow.... + + Much discussion as to the possibilities and probabilities of our + being able to stay here another day. When we came back from our + afternoon ride at near eight, found Mr. Greville and Lady Charlotte + here, and a letter from my father, saying that I could be spared + from my work at the theater a little longer, and promising to come + down to us.... In the evening Mr. C---- and I acted some of + Racine's "Andromaque" for them; my old school part of Hermione + which I have not forgotten, and then two scenes from Scribe's + pretty piece of "_les premières Amours_." He acts French capitally, + and, moreover, bestowed upon me the two following ridiculous + conundrum puns, for which I shall be forever grateful to him: + + "Que font les Vaches à Paris?" + + "Des Vaudevilles" (des Veaux de Ville). + + "Quelle est la sainte qui n'a pas lesoin de Jarretières?" + + "Ste. Sébastienne" (ses has se tiennent). + + What absurd, funny stuff! + + _Tuesday, June 14th._--Gardening on the lawn--hay-making in the + meadow--delightful ride in the afternoon, the beginning of which, + however, was rather spoiled by some very disagreeable accounts Mr. + C---- was giving us of Lord and Lady ----'s _mènage_. What might, + could, would, or _should_ a woman do in such a case? Endure and + endure till her heart broke, I suppose. Somehow I don't think a man + would have the heart to _break_ one's heart; but, to be sure, I + don't know.... + + We did not return home till near nine, and so, instead of dinner, + all sat down to high tea, at which everybody was very cheerful and + gay, and the talk very bright.... + + I wish I could have painted my host and hostess this morning as + they stood together on the lawn; she with her beautiful baby in her + arms, her bright, fair forehead and eyes contrasting so strikingly + with his fine, dark head. I never saw a more charming picture. + (Landseer has produced one version of it in his famous "Return from + Hawking.") Are not all such groups "Holy Families"? They looked to + me holy as well as handsome and happy. + + _Wednesday, June 15th._-- ... The races in the park were to begin + at one, and we wished, of course, to keep clear of them and all the + gay company; so at twelve my mother and I got into the pony + carriage, and drove to Addlestone to my aunt Whitelock's pretty + cottage there. It rained spitefully all day, and the races and all + the fine racing folk were drenched. At about six o'clock my father + came from London, bringing me letters; the weather had brightened, + and I took a long stroll with him till time to dress for dinner.... + In the evening music and pleasant talk till one o'clock. + + _Thursday, June 16th._--At eight o'clock my mother and I walked + with my father to meet the coach, on the top of which he left us + for London. After breakfast took my mother down to my "Cedar Hall," + and established her there with her fishing, and then walked up the + hill to the great trees and amused myself with bending down the big + branches, and, seating myself on them, let them spring up with me. + Climbing trees, as poor Combe would say, excites one's "wonder" and + one's "caution" very agreeably, and I like it. I took Lord + Francis's translation of "Henri Trois" back to the "Cedar Hall," + where my mother was still watching her float. I was a good deal + struck with it. He has not finished the whole of the first act yet, + but there is one scene between the Duchess of Guise and St. Megrin + that I should think ought to be very effective on the stage; and I + can imagine how charming Mdlle. Mars must have been in her + sleep-walking gestures and intonations. The situation, which is + highly dramatic, is, I think, quite new; I cannot recollect any + similar one in any other play.... + + After lunch my mother, Lady Charlotte, and Mr. Greville drove off + to Monks Grove, and we followed them on horse-back; it is a little + paradise of a place, with its sunny, smooth sloping lawns and + bright, sparkling piece of water, the masses of flowers blossoming + in profuse beauty, and the high, overhanging, sheltering woods of + St. Anne's Hill rising behind it. On our way home much talk of + Naples. I might like to go there, no doubt; the question is how I + should like to come back to London after Naples, and I think not at + all. In the evening read the pretty French piece of "Michel et + Christine" which my father had sent me. + + _Friday, June 17th._-- ... My mother, Mr. C----, and I drove + together back to town; so good-by, Oatlands. + + _Monday, June 20th._--Went to rehearsal at half-past ten for John + Mason, who is to come out in Romeo to-night; he had caught a + dreadful cold and could hardly speak, which was terribly provoking, + poor fellow! After my theater rehearsal of "Romeo and Juliet" drove + to Bridgewater House to rehearse "Hernani." In the evening the + house was very good at Covent Garden; I played well. John Mason was + suffering dreadfully from cold and hoarseness; the audience were + very good-natured, however, and he got through uncommonly well. My + mother said I played "beautifully," which was saying much indeed + for her. I was delighted, especially as the Francis Levesons and + ---- were all there. + + _Tuesday, June 21st._--Went to Bridgewater House to rehearse. + Charles Young was among our morning audience; I was so glad to see + him, for dear old acquaintanceship. The king was going to the House + of Parliament, and Palace Yard was thronged with people, and we sat + round one of the Bridgewater House windows to see the show. At + about one the royal carriages set out--such lovely cream-colored + horses, with blue and silver trappings; such splendid, shining, + coal-black ones, with coral-colored trappings. The equipages looked + like some enchanted present in a fairy story. The king--God bless + him!--cannot, I should think, have been much annoyed by the + clamorous greetings of his people. I'm afraid that ominous, sullen + silence is a bad sign of the times. We rehearsed very steadily. + Lord Francis, who is taking the old duke's part because of Mr. St. + Aubin going abroad, is much improved by some teaching Young has + bestowed upon him; but still he is by no means so good as Mr. St. + Aubin was.... + + _Wednesday, 22d._--Read "La Chronique de Charles Neuf," which is + very clever, but the history of that period in France is so + revolting that works of fiction founded upon it are as disagreeable + as the history itself. Hogarth's pictures and Le Sage's novels are + masterpieces, and yet admirable only as excellent representations + of what in itself is odious. However, they are satirical works, and + so have their _raison d'être_, which I do not think a serious novel + about detestable times and people has. Drove to Bridgewater House, + feeling so unwell that I could scarcely stand, and was obliged to + lie down till I was called to go on the stage. We had a magnificent + audience--all the grandeurs in England except the King. The Queen, + the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, the Duke and Duchess of + Cumberland, Princess Elizabeth, Prince Leopold, the Duke of + Brunswick. And lesser magnificoes the room full. Such very superior + people make a dull audience, of course; the presence of royalty is + always understood to bar applause, which is not etiquette when a + Majesty is by. I played very ill; my voice was quite unmanageable, + and broke twice, to my extreme dismay. The fact is, I am fagged + _half_ to death; but as I cannot give up my work and cannot _bear_ + to give up my play, the only wonder is that I am not fagged _whole_ + to death. Mr. Craven acted really capitally, and I wondered how he + could. They put us out terribly in one scene by forgetting the + bench on which I have to sit down. Hernani managed with great + presence of mind and cleverness in its absence, but it spoilt our + prettiest picture. After the play Lady Francis came to fetch me to + be presented to the Queen; her Majesty was most gracious in her + reception of me, and so were the Princess Elizabeth and the Duke of + Gloucester, who came and had quite a long chat with me. When I had + received my dismissal from her Majesty I ran to disrobe, and + returned to join the crowd in the drawing-room.... When they were + all gone we adjourned to Lady Gower's--a most magnificent supper, + which _we_ enjoyed in the perfection of comfort, in a small boudoir + opening into and commanding the whole length of the supper saloon. + Our snuggery just held my mother, Lady Francis, myself, Charles + Greville, and three of our _corps dramatique_, and we not only + enjoyed a full view of the royal table, but what was infinitely + amusing, poor Lord Francis's disconsolate countenance, which half + killed us with laughing. Supper done, we all proceeded downstairs + to see the Royalty depart, and looked at a fine picture of + Lawrence's of that handsome creature, Lord Clanwilliam. Took leave + of my friends for some months, I am sorry to say; took Mr. ----home + in our carriage and set him down just at day-dawn. It was past four + o'clock before I saw my bed; and the life I am leading is really + enough to kill any one. + + _Thursday, June 23d._--Quite unwell, and in bed all day. Mrs. + Jameson came and sat with me some time. We talked of marriage, and + a woman's chance of happiness in giving her life into another's + keeping. I said I thought if one did not expect too much one might + secure a reasonably fair amount of happiness, though of course the + risk one ran was immense. I never shall forget the expression of + her face; it was momentary, and passed away almost immediately, but + it has haunted me ever since. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET. + DEAR LADY DACRE, + + I am commissioned by my mother to request your kind permission to + bring my brother to your evening party on Saturday; she hopes you + will have no scruple in refusing this request, if for any reason + you would rather not comply with it.... I have been thinking much + about what you said to me both _viva voce_ and in your note upon + that "obnoxious word" in my play. Let me entreat you to put aside + conventional regards of age and sex, which have nothing to do with + works of art or literature, and view the subject without any of + those considerations, which have their own proper domain, + doubtless--although I think you have in this instance admitted + their jurisdiction out of it.... I hope as long as I live that I + shall never write anything offensive to decency or morality, or + their pure source, religion; and I hope in my own manners and + conversation always to preserve the decorum prescribed by society, + good taste, and good feeling; but as a dramatic writer, supposing I + am ever to be one, I shall have to depict men as well as women, + coarse and common men as well as refined and courtly ones, and all + and each, if I fulfill my task, must speak the language that their + nature under their several circumstances points out as individually + appropriate. But I forget that I am addressing one far better able + than I am to say what belongs to all questions of poetry and art. + Forgive me, my dear Lady Dacre, and allow me to add that, as when I + put my play into your hands I told you that should you find it too + intolerably dull and bad I would release you from your kind promise + of accepting its dedication to yourself, I can only repeat my + readiness to do so if upon any other ground whatever you feel + reluctant to grace my title-page with your name. Pray tell me so + without hesitation, as I had rather forego that honor than owe it + to your courtesy without your entire good-will. + + In any event pray accept my best acknowledgments for your kindness, + and believe me always + + Your very truly obliged + F. A. K. + +This letter was written in answer to some strictures of Lady Dacre's on +what appeared to her coarseness of language in my play of "The Star of +Seville," which she thought unbecoming a "young lady." If I remember +rightly, too, she said that the introduction of a scene in a bedchamber +might be deemed objectionable. I had asked her permission to dedicate +the play to her, which she had granted; and though she failed to +convince me that a young-lady element had any business whatever in a +play, she very kindly allowed her name to adorn the title-page of my +_un_-young ladylike drama. + +Soon after this my father and aunt and myself left London for our summer +tour in the provinces, which we began at Bristol. + + _Monday, July 4th, Bristol._--The play was "Romeo and Juliet," and + the nurse was a perfect farce in herself; she really was worth any + money, and her soliloquy when she found me "up and dressed and down + again," very nearly made me scream with laughter in the middle of + my trance. Indeed, the whole play was probably considered an + "improved version" of Shakespeare's Veronese story, both in the + force and delicacy of the text. Sundry wicked words and coarse + appellations were decorously dispensed with; many fine passages + received judicious additions; not a few were equally judiciously + omitted altogether. What a shocking hash! + + _Tuesday, July 5th._--After breakfast we sallied forth to the + market, to my infinite delight and amusement. It is most + beautifully clean; the fruit and vegetables look so pretty, and + smell so sweet, and give such an idea of plentiful abundance, that + it is delightful to walk about among them. Even the meat, which I + am generally exceedingly averse to go near, was so beautifully and + nicely arranged that it had none of its usual repulsiveness; and + the sight of the whole place, and the quaint-looking rustic people, + was so pleasantly envious. We stopped to gossip with a bewitching + old country dame, whose market stock might have sat, with her in + the middle of it, for its picture; the veal and poultry so white + and delicate-looking, the bacon like striped pink and white + ribbons, the butter so golden, fresh, and sweet, in a great basket + trimmed round with bunches of white jasmine, the green leaves and + starry blossoms and exquisite perfume making one believe that + butter ought always to be served, not in a "lordly dish," but in a + bower of jasmine. The good lady told us she had just come up from + "the farm," and that the next time she came she would bring us some + home-made bread, and that she was going back to brew and to bake. + She looked so tidy and _rural_, and her various avocations sounded + so pleasant as she spoke of them, that I felt greatly tempted to + beg her to let me go with her to "the farm," which I am sure must + be an enchanting place, neat and pretty, and flowery and + comfortable, and full of rustic picturesqueness; and _while the sun + shone_, I think I should like a female farmer's life amazingly. + Went to the theater and rehearsed "Venice Preserved," which is an + entirely different kind of thing. Charles Mason dined with us. + After dinner I finished reading Miss Ferrier's novel of "Destiny," + which I like very much; besides being very clever, it leaves a + pleasant taste, in one's mind's mouth. Went to the theater at six; + the play was "Venice Preserved," and I certainly have seldom seen a + more shameful exhibition. In the first place C---- did not even + know his words, and that was bad enough; but when he was out, + instead of coming to a stop decently, and finishing at least with + his cue, he went on extemporizing line after line, and speech after + speech, of his own, by way of mending matters. I think I never saw + such a performance. He stamps and bellows low down in his throat + like an ill-suppressed bull; he rolls his eyes till I feel as if + they were flying out of their sockets at me, and I must try and + catch them. He quivers and quavers in his speech, and pulls and + _wrenches_ me so inhumanly, that what with inward laughter and + extreme rage and pain, I was really all but dead in earnest at the + end of the play. I acted very ill myself till the last scene, when + my Jaffier having been done justice to by the Venetian Government, + I was able to do justice to myself, and having gone mad, and no + wonder, died rather better than I had lived through the piece. + + _July 6th, Bristol._--Walked out to order the horses, and + afterwards went on to look at the Abbey Church. We examined one or + two interesting old monuments; but were obliged to curtail our + explorings, as the doors were about to be closed. We have been + talking much lately of a remote possibility of going to America; + and as I left this old brown pile to-day, it seemed to me curious + to think of a country which has no cathedrals, no monuments of the + Old Faith. How venerable, in spite of its superstitions and abuses; + for its long undisputed sway over all civilized lands; for the + great and good men who honored it by their lives and works--the + religion of Augustine, of Bruno, Benedict, Francis d'Assisi, + Francis de Sales, Fénelon, and how many more--the Christianity of + Europe in its feudal, chivalrous times, those days of noble, good, + as well as fierce, evil deeds and lives, the faith that kings and + warriors bowed to when sovereignty was absolute and military power + supreme. America has no gray abbeys, no ruined cloisters, to tell + of monastic brotherhoods--the preserves of ancient historic + chronicles, the guardians of the early wells and springs of classic + learning and genius. In America there are no great, old, + time-stained, weather-beaten, ivy-mantled churches full of tombs, + such as we saw to-day, with curious carvings and quaint effigies, + and where the early rulers of the land embraced the faith and + received the baptism of Christ. That must be a very strange + country. But they have Plymouth Rock, on the shore where the + Protestant Pilgrims landed. + + The horses having come to the door, we set off for our ride; our + steeds were but indifferent hacks, but the road was charming, and + the evening serene and pure, and I was with my father, a + circumstance of enjoyment to me always. The characteristic feature + of the scenery of this region is the vivid, deep-toned foliage of + the hanging woods, through whose dense tufts of green, masses of + gray rock and long scars of warm-colored red-brown earth appear + every now and then with the most striking effect. The deep-sunk + river wound itself drowsily to a silver thread at the base of steep + cliffs, to the summit of which we climbed, reaching a fine level + land of open downs carpeted with close, elastic turf. On we rode, + up hill and down dale, through shady lanes full of the smell of + lime-blossom, skirting meadows fragrant with the ripe mellow hay + and honey-sweet clover, and then between plantations of aromatic, + spicy fir and pine, all exhaling their perfumes under the influence + of the warm sunset. At last we made a halt where the road, winding + through Lord de Clifford's property, commanded an enchanting view. + On our right, rolling ground rising gradually into hills, clothed + to their summits with flourishing evergreens, firs, larches, + laurel, arbutus--a charming variety in the monotony of green. On + the farthest of these heights Blaise Castle, with two gray towers, + well defined against the sky, looked from its bosky eminence over + the whole domain, which spread on our left in sloping lawns, where + single oaks and elms of noble size threw their shadows on the + sunlit sward, which looked as if none but fairies' feet had ever + pressed it. Beyond this, through breaks and frames, and arches made + by the trees, the broad Severn glittered in the wavy light. It was + a beautiful landscape in every direction. We returned home by sea + wall and the shore of the Severn, which seemed rather bare and + bleak after the soft loveliness we had just left.... + + _Thursday, July 7th._--Went to the theater to rehearse "The + Gamester." In the afternoon strolled down to the river with my + father and Dall. We took boat and rowed toward the cliffs. Our + time, however, was limited; and just as we reached the loveliest + part of the river, we were obliged to turn home again.... At + dinner, as we were talking about America, and I was expressing my + disinclination ever to go thither, my father said: "If my cause + (our Chancery suit) goes ill before the Lords, I think the best + thing I can do will be to take ship from Liverpool and sail to the + United States." I choked a little at this, but presently found + voice to say, "Ebben son pronta;" but he replied, "No, that he + should go alone." That you never should, my own dear father!... But + I do hate the very thought of America. + + _Saturday, July 9th._ ... In the afternoon drove out in an open + carriage with Dall to Shirehampton, by the same road my father and + I took in our ride the other day. + + + BRISTOL, July 10th, 1831. + MY DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I can neither bid you confirm nor deny any "_reports_ you may + hear," for I am in utter ignorance, I am happy to say, of the + world's surmisings on my behalf, and had indeed supposed that my + time for being honored by its notice in any way was pretty well + past and over. + + I am glad you are having rest, as you speak of it with the + enjoyment which those alone who work hard are entitled to. I trust, + too, that in the instance of your eyes no news is good news, for + you say nothing of them, and I therefore like to hope that they + have suffered you to forget them. + + I'm disappointed about your Shakespeare book. I should like to have + had it by my next birthday, which is the 27th of November, and to + which I look forward with unusually mingled feelings. However, it + cannot be helped; and I have no doubt the booksellers are right in + point of fact, for we are embarked on board too troublous times to + carry mere _passe temps_ literature with us. "We must have bloody + noses and cracked crowns," I am afraid, and shall find small public + taste or leisure for _polite letters_. + + I like this place very well; it is very quiet, and my life is + always a happy one with my father. He always spoils me, and that is + always pleasant, you know. + + The Bristol people are rather in a bad state just now for our + purposes, for trade here is in a very unprosperous condition; and + the recent failure of many of their great mercantile houses does no + good to our theatrical ones. The audiences are very pleasant, + however, and the company by no means bad. We are here another week, + and then take ship for Ilfracombe, and thence by land to Exeter; + after that Plymouth and Southampton.... I wish I could be in London + for "Anna Bolena." I cannot adequately express my admiration for + Madame Pasta; I saw her in Desdemona the Saturday night on which I + scrawled those few lines to you. I think if you knew how every look + and tone and gesture of hers affects me, you would be satisfied. + She is almost equal to an imagination; more than that I cannot say. + If you rate "imagination" as I think you must, I need say nothing + more. We shall certainly be back in London by the end of September, + if not before. In the mean time believe me ever yours most truly, + + F. A. K. + + + _Sunday, July 10th._--My father wickedly _dawdled_ about till we + were nearly late for church, and had to scamper along the quays and + up the steep street, to poor dear Dall's infinite discomfiture, who + grumbled and puffed, and shuffled and shambled along, while I + plunged on, breathlessly ejaculating, "It is so hateful to be late + for church!" The cathedral (which I believe it is not) was quite + full, but we obtained seats in the organ gallery, where we could + not hear very well, but had a very fine view of the _coup d'oeil_ + presented by the choir and church below us. The numerous and + many-colored congregation, the white surpliced choristers, the + charity-school children in their uniforms surrounding the altar, + all framed in by the dark old oak screens with their quaint + readings, and partially vividly illuminated by occasional gleams of + strong sunlight which poured suddenly through the colored windows, + presented a beautiful picture. The service was very well performed: + the organ is a remarkably good one, and one or two of the boys' + voices were exquisitely soft and clear. It is a fine service, and + yet I do not like it by way of religious worship. It does not make + me devout, in the proper form of the term; it appeals too much to + my senses and my imagination; it is religion _set_ to music and + painting, and artistic religion does not suit me. The incessant + passing of people through the church, too, disturbs one, and gives + an unpleasant air of irreverence to the whole.... I think I might + like to go to a cathedral for afternoon service, much as I like to + spend my Sunday leisure in reading Milton, though I should not be + satisfied to make my whole devotional _exercises_ consist in + reading "Paradise Lost." A wretchedly weak, poor sermon; how + strange that such a theme should inspire nothing better than such a + discourse! However, I suppose this sort of ministering is the + inevitable result of a "ministry" embraced merely as a means of + subsistence. No one could paint pictures or compose music, _only_ + because they wanted bread, so I do not see why any one should + preach sermons fit to be heard, only because they want bread. If I + was a despot, I would suppress hebdomadal writing of sermons, and + people should be _forbidden_ instead of _bidden_ to talk nonsense + upon sacred subjects. + + _Monday, 11th._--At night the theater was very full, and the + audience pleasant. During supper my father, Charles Mason, and I + had a long discussion about Kean. I cannot help thinking my father + wrong about him. Kean _is_ a man of decided genius, no matter how + he neglects or abuses nature's good gift. He has it. He has the + first element of all greatness--power. No taste, perhaps, and no + industry, perhaps; but let his deficiencies be what they may, his + faults however obvious, his conceptions however erroneous, and his + characters, each considered as a whole, however imperfect, he has + the one atoning faculty that compensates for everything else, that + seizes, rivets, electrifies all who see and hear him, and stirs + down to their very springs the passionate elements of our nature. + Genius alone can do this. + + As an actor, one whose efforts are the result of study, of mental + research, reflection, and combination; as an intellectual + anatomist, whose knowledge must dissect, and then re-form and + reproduce again in beauty and harmony the image he has taken to + pieces; as an artist, who is bound to conceal both the first and + last processes, the dismembering of the parts and the reuniting + them in a whole, and whose business is to make the most deliberate + mental labor and the most studied personal effects appear the + spontaneous result of unpremeditated passion and emotion (feigned + passion and emotion, which are to appear real)--in capacity for all + this Kean may be defective. He may not be an actor, he may not be + an artist, but he _is_ a man of genius, and instinctively with a + word, a look, a gesture, tears away the veil from the heart of our + common humanity, and lays it bare as it beats in every human heart, + and as it throbs in his own. Kean speaks with his whole living + frame to us, and every fiber of ours answers his appeal. + + I do not know that I ever saw him in any character which impressed + me as a _whole work of art_; he never seems to me to intend to be + any one of his parts, but I think he intends that all his parts + should be _him_. So it is not Othello who is driven frantic by + doubt and jealousy, nor Shylock who is buying human flesh by its + weight in gold, nor Sir Giles Overreach who is selling his child to + hell for a few years of wealth and power; it is Kean, and in every + one of his characters there is an intense personality of his _own_ + that, while one is under its influence, defies all + criticism--moments of such overpowering passion, accents of such + tremendous power, looks and gestures of such thrilling, piercing + meaning, that the excellence of those _parts_ of his performances + more than atones for the want of greater unity in conception and + smoothness in the entire execution of them. + + The discussion about Kean led naturally to some talk about his most + famous parts, particularly Shylock. My father's conception of + Shylock seems to me less the right one than Kean's; but then, if my + father took what _I_ think the right view of the part, he would + have to give up acting it. The real Shylock--that is, + Shakespeare's--is a creature totally opposite in his whole + organization, physical and mental, to my father's; and as my father + cannot force his nature in any particular into uniformity with that + of Shylock, he endeavors to persuade himself that the theory by + which he tries to bring it into harmony with his individuality, and + within the compass of his powers, is the right one; but I think him + entirely mistaken about it. Kean did with the part exactly what my + father wants to do--adapted his conceptions to his means of + execution; but Kean's physical constitution was much better suited + to express Shylock as Shylock should be expressed than my father's. + My father attempts to make Shylock "poetical" (in the superficial + sense), because that is the bias of his own mind in matters of art. + Classical purity and refinement of taste are his specialties as an + actor, and neither power nor intensity. + + Shylock's master passion is not revenge, which is a savage, but + avarice, which is a sordid motive. His hatred is inspired more by + defeated hope of gain and positive losses and threatened ventures, + than by the personal insults and contumely he has received. + + Avarice is an absolutely base passion, and a grand poetical + character cannot consistently be raised upon such a foundation, nor + can a nature be at once groveling and majestic. Besides, + Shakespeare has not made Shylock "poetical." The concentrated venom + of his passion is prosaic in its vehement utterance--close, + concise, vigorous, logical, but not imaginative; and in the scenes + where his evil nature escapes the web of his cunning caution, and + he is stung to fury by his complicated losses, there is intense + passion but no elevation in his language. + + There is a vein of humor in Shylock. A grim, bitter, sardonic + flavor pervades the part, that blends naturally with the sordid + thrift and shrewd, watchful, eager vigilance of the miser. It + infuses a terrible grotesqueness into his rage, and curdles one's + blood in the piercing, keen irony of his mocking humility to + Antonio, and adds poignancy to the ferocity of his hideous revenge. + This Kean rendered admirably, and in this my father entirely fails, + but it is an important element of the character. + + My father is hard upon Kean's defects because they are especially + antagonistic to his artistic taste and tendency, but I think, too, + there is a slight infusion of the vexation of unappreciated labor + in my father's criticism of Kean. He forgets that power is + universally felt and understood, and refinement seldom the one or + the other, and for a thousand who applaud Kean's "What, wouldst + thou have a serpent sting thee twice?" probably not ten people are + aware of his exquisite "nevertheless" in the reading of Antonio's + letter. Most eyes can "see a church by daylight;" not many stop to + look at the lights and shadows that are forever varying and adding + to the beauty of its aspect. I wonder how, being as well aware as + my father is of all the fine work that escapes the eyes of the + public, he can care for this kind of thing as he does. + + _Tuesday, 12th._--We are having events at the theater, and not of a + pleasant sort. Mr. Brunton, the manager, is in "difficulties" + (civilized plural for debt), and it seems that last night during + the play one of his creditors put an execution into the theater, + and laid violent hands upon the receipts, which, as it was my + father's benefit, rather dismayed us. So after breakfast this + morning, having put out my dresses for my favorite Portia for + to-night, I went to the theater to ascertain if there was to be a + rehearsal or not. My father had gone in search of Mr. Brunton to + see how matters could be arranged, and at all events to represent + that we could not go on acting unless our money was secured to us. + Charles Mason, Dall, and I in the mean time found the poor actors + in the theater very much at a loss how to proceed, as it seemed + extremely doubtful whether there would be any performance; so we + returned home, where we found my father, who said that at all + events there must be a rehearsal, for it was absolutely necessary + if we did act to-night, and could do us no harm if we did not; so + we repaired again to the theater, where the scattered and scared + _corps dramatique_ having been got together again, we proceeded to + business. + + _Wednesday, 13th._--Mr. K---- called and told us that some + arrangement had been made with the truculent creditor of our poor + manager by which _we_ shall not lose any more in this unlucky + business. My father will be quit for about a hundred pounds. I am + very sorry for Mr. Brunton, but he should not have placed us in + such an uncomfortable position. My father has offered to act one + night beyond our engagement for the sake, if possible, of making up + to the actors the arrears of salary Mr. Brunton owes them. They are + all poor, hard-working people, earning no more than the means of + subsistence, and this withholding of their due falls very heavily + on them. + + _Thursday, 14th._-- ... At the theater the house was very good, and + the audience very pleasant. The play was "The Provoked Husband," + and I'm sure I play his provoking wife badly enough to provoke + anybody; but she's not a person to my mind, which is an artistic + view of the case. + +[My modes of dealing with my professional duties at this very unripe +stage of my career irresistibly remind me of a not very highly educated +female painter who had taken it into her head to make an historical +picture of Cleopatra. Sending to a friend for a few "references" upon +the subject of that imperial gypsy's character and career, she sent them +hastily back, saying she had relinquished her purpose, "having really no +idea Cleopatra was that sort of person."] + + _Friday, July 15th._--Miserrima! I have broken a looking-glass! and + on Friday, too! What do I think will happen to me! Had a long talk + this morning with dear Dall about my dislike to the stage. I do not + think it is the acting itself that is so disagreeable to me, but + the public personal exhibition, the violence done (as it seems to + me) to womanly dignity and decorum in thus becoming the gaze of + every eye and theme of every tongue. If my audience was reduced to + my intimates and associates I should not mind it so much, I think; + but I am not quite sure that I should like it then. + + At the theater the house was very full, and the audience + particularly amiable. In the interval between the fourth and fifth + acts Charles Mason made a speech to them, informing them of Mr. + Brunton's distress, and our intention of acting for him on Monday. + They applauded very much, and I hope they will do more, and come. + My part of the charity is certainly not small; to be pulled and + pushed and dragged hither and thither, and generally "knocked + about," as the miserable Belvidera, for three mortal hours, is a + sacrifice of self which my conscience bears me witness is laudable. + I would much rather pay with my purse than my person in this case. + Unfortunately, je n'ai pas de quoi. + + _Sunday, July 17th._--To Redcliffe Church with my father and Dall. + What a beautiful old building it is!... What a sermon! Has the + truth, as our Church holds it, no fitter expounders than such a + preacher? Are these its stays, props, and pillars--teachers to + guide, enlighten, and instruct people as cultivated and intelligent + as the people of this country on the most momentous of all + subjects? Are these the sort of adversaries to oppose to men like + Channing? As for not going to church because of bad or foolish + sermons, that is quite another matter, though I not unfrequently + hear that reason assigned for staying away. One goes to church to + say one's prayers, and not to hear more or less fine discourses; + one goes because it is one's duty, and a delight and comfort, and a + quite distinct duty and delight from that of private prayer. A good + sermon, Heaven knows, is a rare blessing to be thankful for, but if + one went to church only in the expectation of that blessing, one + might stay away most Sundays in the year. + +[My youthful scorn of "poor preaching" reminds me of what I once heard +Edward Everett say, who, before becoming his country's "Minister," in +the diplomatic sense of the word, had been a powerful and eloquent +Unitarian preacher: "I hear a good deal of criticism upon sermons which +are supposed to be religious or moral exhortations, not intellectual +exercises. I dare say many sermons are not _first rate_, but moderate +good preaching is not a bad thing, and _pretty poor preaching_ is better +than most men's practice."] + + _Monday, July 18th._--The theater was crowded to-night, which + delighted me. It is pleasant to see malicious and evil actions + produce such a result. I was very nervous and excited, and nearly + went into hysterics over one small incident of the evening. At the + close of the first separation scene--the play was "Venice + Preserved"--when Jaffier is carried out by the nape of the neck by + Pierre, and Belvidera _extracted_ on the other side in the arms + (and iron ones they were) of Bedamar, the audience of course were + affected, harrowed, overcome by the poignant pathos of the + situation. Charles looked woebegone. I called upon him in tones of + the most piercing anguish (an agony not entirely feigned, as my + bruises can bear witness). The curtain descended slowly amidst + sympathetic sobs and silence--the musicians themselves, deeply + moved, no doubt, with the sorrows of the scene, mournfully resumed + their fiddles, and struck up "ti _ti_ tum _tiddle_ un _ti_ tum + _ti_"--the jolliest jig you ever heard. The bathos was + irresistible; we behind the scenes, the principal sufferers + (perhaps) in the night's performance, were instantly comforted, and + all but shouted with laughter. I hope the audience were equally + revived by this grotesque sudden cheering of their spirits. After + the tragedy a Bristolian Paganini performed a concerto on one + string. Dall declares that the whole orchestra played the whole + time--but some sounds reached me in my dressing-room that were + decidedly _unique_ more ways than one, not at all unlike our + favorite French fantasia--"Complainte d'un cochon au lait qui + rêve." But the audience were transported; they clapped and the + fiddle squeaked, they shouted and the fiddle squealed, they + hurrahed and the fiddle uttered three terrific screams, and it was + over and Paganini is done for--here, at any rate. He need never + show face or fiddle here; he hasn't a string (even one) left to his + bow in Bristol. "So Orpheus fiddled," etc. + + _Tuesday, July 19th._--Dinner-party at the ---- which ought to have + been chronicled by Jane Austen. I sat by a gentleman who talked to + me of the hanging gardens of Semiramis and what might have been + cultivated therein (hemp perhaps), then of the derivation of + languages--he still kept among roots--and finally of _tea_, which + he told me he was endeavoring to grow on the Welsh mountains. Some + of the table-talk deserved printing _verbatim_, only it was almost + too good to be true, or at any rate believed. + + _Wednesday, July 20th._--Charles Mason came after breakfast, and + told us that there was some chance of poor Mr. Brunton's getting + out of prison (into which his creditor has thrust him), for that + the latter had been so universally scouted for his harsh proceeding + that he probably would be shamed into liberating him. + + We shall not leave Bristol to-day. The wind is contrary and the + weather quite unfavorable for a party of pleasure, which our trip + by sea to Ilfracombe was to be. It's very disagreeable living half + in one's trunks and traveling-bags, as this sort of uncertainty + compels one to do. I studied Dante, wrote verses and sketched, and + tried to be busy; but a defeated departure leaves one's mind and + thoughts only half unpacked, and I felt idle and unsettled, though + I worked at "The Star of Seville" till dinner-time. + + After dinner I studied politics in the Examiner and read an article + on Cobbett, which made me laugh, and the motto to which might have + been "Malvolio, thou art sick of self-conceit." ... + + _Thursday, July 21st._--At dinner a discussion, suggested by Mr. + D----'s conduct to Mr. Brunton, on the subject of returning evil + for evil, and the difficulty of not doing so, if not deliberately + and in deed, upon impulse and by thought. Nothing is easier in such + matters than to say what one would do, and nothing, I suppose, more + difficult than to do what one should do. So God keep us all from + convenient opportunities of revenging ourselves.... + +[Occasionally one hears in the streets voices in which the making of a +fortune lies, and when one remembers what fortunes some voices have +commanded, it seems bitterly cruel to think of such a possession begging +its bread for want of the chance that might have made it available by +culture. A woman, some years ago, used to sing at night in the +neighborhood of St. James's Street, whose voice was so exquisite, so +powerful, sweet, and thrilling, a mezzo soprano of such pure tone and +vibrating quality, that Lady Essex, my sister, and myself, at different +times, struck by the woman's magnificent gift and miserable position, +had her into our houses, to hear her sing and see if nothing could be +done to give her the full use of her noble natural endowment. She was a +plain young woman of about thirty, tolerably decently dressed, and with +a quiet, simple manner. She said her husband was a house-paperer in a +small way, and when he was out of employment she used to go out in the +evening and see what her singing would bring her. Poor thing! it was +impossible to do anything for her; she was too old to learn or unlearn +anything. No training could have corrected the low cockney vulgarity and +coarse, ignorant indistinctness and incorrectness of her enunciation. +And so in after years, as I returned repeatedly to England, after longer +or shorter intervals of time, and always inhabited the same neighborhood +in London, I still continued to hear, on dark drizzly evenings (and +never without a thrill of poignant pain and pity) this angel's voice +wandering in the muddy streets, its perfect, round, smooth edge becoming +by degrees blunted and broken, its tones rough and coarse and harsh, +some of the notes fading into feeble indistinctness--the fine, bold, +true intonation hiding its tremulous uncertainty in trills and quavers, +alternating with pitiful husky coughing, while every now and then one or +two lovely, rich, pathetic notes, surviving ruin, recalled the early +sweetness and power of the original instrument. The idea of what that +woman's voice might have been to her used to haunt me. + +It was hearing Rachel singing (barefoot) in the streets of Paris that +Jules Janin's attention was first excited by her. Her singing, as I +heard it on the stage in the drinking song of the extraordinary piece +called "Valeria," in which she played two parts, was really nothing more +than a chanting in the deep contralto of her speaking voice, and could +hardly pass for a musical performance at all, any more than her +wonderful uttering of the "Marseillaise," with which she made the +women's blood run cold, and the men's hair stand on end, and everybody's +flesh creep. + +My sister and I used often to plan an expedition of street-singing for +the purpose of seeing how much we could collect in that way for some +charity. We were to put ourselves in "poor and mean attire"--I do not +know that we were to "smirch our faces" with brown paint; we thought +large battered poke-bonnets would answer the purpose, and, thus +disguised, we were to go the rounds of the club windows, my father +walking at a discreet distance for our protection on one side of the +street, and our formidable pirate friend Trelawney on the other. We +never carried out this project, though I have no doubt it would have +brought us a very pretty penny for any endowment we might have wished to +make.] + + _Friday, July 22d._--Long and edifying talk with dear Dall upon my + prospects in marrying. "While you remain single," says she, "and + choose to work, your fortune is an independent and ample one; as + soon as you marry, there's no such thing. Your position in + society," says she, "is both a pleasanter and more distinguished + one than your birth or real station entitles you to; but that also + is the result of your professional exertions, and might, and + probably would, alter for the worse if you left the stage; for, + after all, it is mere frivolous fashionable popularity." I ought to + have got up and made her a courtesy for that. So that it seems I + have fortune and fame (such as it is)--positive real advantages, + which I cannot give with myself, and which I cease to own when I + give myself away, which certainly makes my marrying any one or any + one marrying me rather a solemn consideration; for I lose + everything, and my marryee gains nothing in a worldly point of + view--says she--and it's incontrovertible and not pleasant. So I + took up Dante, and read about devils boiled in pitch, which + refreshed my imagination and cheered my spirits very much. + +[How far my ingenious mind was from foreseeing the days when men of high +rank and social station would marry singers, dancers, and actresses, and +be condescending enough to let their wives continue to earn their bread +by public exhibition, and even to appropriate the proceeds of their +theatrical labors! I have not yet made up my mind whether, in these +cases, the _gentleman_ ought not to take his wife's name in private, as +a compensation for her not taking his in public. Poor Miss Paton's noble +husband was the only Englishman, that I know of, who committed that act +of self-effacement. To go much further back in dramatic and social +history, the old, accomplished, mad Earl of Peterborough married the +famous singer Anastasia Robinson, and refused to acknowledge the fact +till her death. To be sure, this was a more cowardly, but a less dirty +meanness. He withheld his name from her, but did not take her money.] + + It is settled now that we go to Exeter by coach, and now that we + have given up our pretty sea trip to Ilfracombe, the weather has + become lovely--perverse creature!--but I am glad we are going away + in every way. + + _Saturday, Bristol, July 23d._ ... We started at eight, and taking + the whole coach to ourselves as we do, I think traveling by a + public conveyance the best mode of getting over the road. They run + so rapidly; there is so little time lost, and so much trouble with + one's luggage saved. The morning was gray and soft and promised a + fine day, but broke its promise at the end of our second stage, and + began to pelt with rain, which it continued to do the live-long + blessed day. We could see, however, that the country we were + passing through was charming. One or two of the cottages by the + roadside, half-smothered in vine and honeysuckle, reminded me of + Lady Juliana,[B] who, when she said she could live in a desert with + her lover, thought that it was a "sort of place full of roses." ... + These laborers' cottages were certainly the poor dwellings of very + poor people, but there was nothing unsightly, repulsive, or squalid + about them--on the contrary, a look of order, of tidy neatness + about the little houses, that added the peculiarly English element + of comfort and cleanliness to the picturesqueness of their fragrant + festoons of flowery drapery, hung over them by the sweet season. + The little plots of flower-garden one mass of rich color; the tiny + strip of kitchen-garden, well stocked and trimly kept, beside it; + the thriving fruitful orchard stretching round the whole; and + beyond, the rich cultivated land rolling its waving corn-fields, + already tawny and sunburnt, in mellow contrast with the smooth + green pasturages, with their deep-shadowed trees and bordering + lines of ivied hawthorn hedgerows, marking boundary-lines of + division without marring the general prospect--a lovely landscape + that sang aloud of plenty, industry, and thrift. I wonder if any + country is more blessed of God than this precious little England? I + think it is like one of its own fair, nobly blooming, vigorous + women; her temper--that's the climate--not perfection, to be sure + (but, after all, the old praise of it is true; it admits of more + constant and regular out-of-door exercise than any other); the + religion it professes, pure; the morality it practises, pure, + probably by comparison with that of other powerful and wealthy + nations. Oh, I trust that neither reform nor its extreme, + revolution, will have power to injure this healthily, heartily + constituted land.... + + [B] In Miss Ferrie's novel, "Marriage." + + + EXETER, July 24th, 1831. + DEAREST H----, + + We arrived here last night, or rather evening, at half-past six + o'clock, and I found your letter, which, having waited for me, + shall not wait for my answer.... + + Thank you for John's translation of the German song, the original + of which I know and like very much. The thoughts it suggested to + you must constantly arise in all of us. I believe that in these + matters I feel all that you do, but not with the same intensity. To + adore is most natural to the mind contemplating beauty, might, and + majesty beyond its own powers; to implore is most natural to the + heart oppressed with suffering, or agitated with hopes that it + cannot accomplish, or fears from which it cannot escape. The + difference between natural and revealed religion is that the one + worships the loveliness and power it perceives, and the other the + goodness, mercy, and truth in which it believes. The one prays for + exemption from pain and enjoyment of happiness for body and mind in + this present existence; the other for deliverance from spiritual + evils, or the possession of spiritual graces, by which the soul is + fitted for that better life toward which it tends.... + + I do not think "Juliet" has written to you hitherto, and I am + rather affronted at your calling me so. I have little or no + sympathy with, though much compassion for, that Veronese young + person.... There is but one sentiment of hers that I can quote with + entire self-application, and that is-- + + "I have no joy of this contract to-night; + It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden." + + In spite of which the foolish child immediately secures her lover's + word, appoints the time for meeting, and makes every arrangement + for following up the declaration she thought too sudden by its as + sudden execution. Poor Juliet! I am very sorry for her, but do not + like to be called after her, and do not think I am like her. I have + been working very hard every day since you left Bristol (my belief + is that Juliet was very idle). I am sorry to say I find my playing + very hard work; but easy work, if there is such a thing, would not + be best for me just now. + + Yours ever, + F. A. K. + + + _Sunday, Exeter._--To church with Dall and my father, a blessing + that I can never enjoy in London, where he is all but stared out of + countenance if he shows his countenance in a church, and it + requires more devotion to the deed than I fear he possesses to + encounter the annoyance attendant upon it. We heard an excellent + sermon, earnest, sober, simple, which I was especially grateful for + on my father's account. Women don't mind bad preaching; they have a + general taste for sermons, and, like children with sweeties, will + swallow bad ones if they cannot get good. "We have a natural turn + for religion," as A.F. said of me; but men, I think, get a not + unnatural turn against it when they hear it ill advocated.... + + The day has been lovely, and from my perch among the clouds here I + am looking down upon a lovely view. Following the irregular line of + buildings of the street, the eye suddenly becomes embowered in a + thick rich valley of foliage, beyond which a hill rises, whose + sides are covered with ripening corn-fields, meadows of vivid + green, and fields where the rich red color of the earth contrasts + beautifully with the fresh hedgerows and tall, dark elm trees, + whose shadows have stretched themselves for evening rest down in + the low rosy sunset. It is all still and bright, and the Sabbath + bells come up to me over it all with intermitting sweetness, like + snatches of an interrupted angels' chorus, floating hither and + thither about the earth. + + _Monday._--We contrived to get some saddle-horses, and rode out + into the beautiful country round Exeter, but the preface to our + poem was rather dry prose. We rode for about an hour between + powdery hedges all smothered in dust, up the steepest of hills, and + under the hottest of suns; but we had our reward when we halted at + the top, and looked down upon a magnificent panorama of land and + water, hill and dale, broad smiling meadows, and dark shadowy + woodland--a vast expanse of various beauty, over which the eye + wandered and paused in slow contentment. As we came leisurely down + the opposite side of the hill, we met a gypsy woman, and I reined + up my horse and listened to my fortune: "I have a friend abroad who + is very fond of me." I hope so. "I have a relation far abroad who + is very fond of me too." I know so. "I shall live long." More is + the pity. "I shall marry and have three children." Quite enough. "I + shall take easily to love, but it will not break my heart." I am + glad to hear that. "I shall cross the sea before I see London + again." Ah! I am afraid not. "The end of my summer will be happier + than its beginning"--and that may very easily be. For that I gave + my prophetess a shilling. Oh, Zingarella! my blessing on your black + eyes and red-brown cheeks! May you have spoken true!... + + Meantime, my companions, my father and Mr. Kean, were discussing + the fortunes of Poland. If I were a man, with a hundred thousand + pounds at my disposal, I would raise a regiment and join the Poles. + The Russians have been beaten again, which is good hearing. Is it + possible this cause should fall to the earth? On our way home, had + a nice smooth, long canter by the river-side. We turned off our + road to visit a pretty property of Mr. F----'s, the house half-way + up a hill, prettily seated among pleasant woods. We galloped up + some fields above it to the brow of the rise, and had three + mouthfuls of delicious fresh breeze, and a magnificent view of + Exeter and the surrounding country.... After dinner, off to the + theater; it was my benefit, "The Gamester." The house was very + full, and I played and looked well; but what a Stukely! I was + afraid my eyes would scarcely answer my purpose, but that I should + have been obliged to "employer l'effort de mon bras" to keep him at + a proper distance. What ruffianly wooing! and not one of the actors + knew their parts. Stukely said to me in his love-speech, "Time has + not gathered the roses from your cheeks, though often washed them." + I had heard of Time as the thinner of people's hair, but never as + the washer of their faces. + + _Sunday, July 31st._--Went to church, to St. Sidwell's.... We had + another good sermon; that preacher must be a good man, and I should + like to know him.... + + Our dinner-party this evening was like nothing but a chapter out of + one of Miss Austen's novels. What wonderful books those are! She + must have written down the very conversations she heard _verbatim_, + to have made them so like, which is Irish.... How many things one + ought to die of and doesn't! That dinner did come to an end. In the + drawing-room afterward, in spite of the dreadful heat, two fair + female friends actually divided one chair between them; I expected + to see them run into one every minute, and kept speculating then + which they would be, till the idea fascinated me like a thing in a + nightmare. As we were taking our departure, and had got half way + down the stairs, a general rush was made at us, and an attempt, + upon some pretext, to get us back into that dreadful drawing-room. + I thought of Malebranche hooking the miserable souls that tried to + escape back again into the boiling pitch. But we got away and safe + home, and leave Exeter to-morrow. + + + EXETER, July 31, 1831. + DEAREST H----, + + I am content to be whatever does not militate against your + affection for me.... I had a long letter from dear A----, a day + ago, from Weybridge. She is quite well, and says my mother is as + happy as the day is long, now she is once more in her beloved + haunts. I love Weybridge too very much.... It seems to me that + memory is the special organ of pain, for even when it recalls our + pleasures, it recalls only the past, and half their sweetness + becomes bitter in the process. I have a tenacious and acute memory, + and, as the phrenologists affirm, no hope, and feel disposed to + lament that, not having both, I have either. The one seems the + necessary counterpoise of the other; the one is the source of most + of the pain, as the other is of most of the pleasure, which we + derive from the things that are not; and I feel daily more and more + my deficiency in the more cheerful attribute.... + + You have been to the Opera, and seen what even one's imagination + does not shrug its shoulders at; I mean Madame Pasta. I admire her + perfectly, and she seems to me perfect. How I wish I had been with + you! And yet I cannot fancy you in the Opera House; it is a sort of + atmosphere that I find it difficult to think of your breathing.... + I wish you had not asked me to write verses for you upon that + picture of Haydon's "Bonaparte at St. Helena." Of course, I know it + familiarly through the engraving, and, in spite of its sunshine, + what a shudder and chill it sends to one's heart! It is very + striking, but I have neither the strength nor concentrativeness + requisite for writing upon it. The simplicity of its effect is what + makes it so fine; and any poetry written upon it would probably + fail to be as simple, and therefore as powerful, as itself. I + cannot even promise you to attempt it, but if ever I fall in with a + suitable frame of mind for so bold an experiment, I will remember + you and the rocks of St. Helena. "My lady" (an Italian portrait on + which I had written some verses) "Mia Donna," or "Madonna," more + properly to speak, was a most beautiful Italian portrait that I + saw, not in Augustin's gallery, but in a small collection of + pictures belonging to Mr. Day, and exhibited at the Egyptian Hall. + Sir Thomas Lawrence told me when I described it to him, that he + thought it was a painting of Giordano's. It was a lovely face, not + youthful in its character of beauty; there is a calm seriousness + about the brow and forehead, a clear, intellectual severity about + the eye, and a sweet, still placidity round the mouth, that united, + to my fancy, all the elements of beauty, physical, mental, and + moral. What an incomparable friend that woman must have been! Why + is it that we rejoice that a soul fit for heaven is constrained to + tarry here, but that, in truth, the fittest for this is also the + fittest for that life? For it seems to me more natural not to wish + to detain the bright spirit from its brighter home, and not to + sorrow at the decree which calls it hence to perfect its excellence + in higher spheres of duty.... + + I think a blight of uncertainty must have pervaded the atmosphere + when I was born, and penetrated, not certainly my nature, but my + whole earthly destiny, with its influence; from my plans and + projects for to-morrow on to those of next year, all is mist and + indistinct indecision. I suppose it is the trial that suits my + temper least, and therefore fits it best. It surely is that which + "willfulness, conceit, and egotism" find hardest to endure. + Yesterday I determined so far to escape from, or cheat, my destiny + as to have a peep into futurity by the help of a gypsy. Riding with + my father, and the whole hour, time, day, and scene, were in + admirable harmony: the dark, sunburnt face, with its bright, + laughing eyes and coal-black curls and flashing teeth; the old + gateway against which she was leaning; the blue summer sky and + sunny road skirted with golden corn-fields--the whole picture in + which she was set was charming. + + "I know it is a sin to be a mocker;" + + and I am sure I need not tell you that I am sincerely grateful for + all the kindness and civility that is bestowed upon us wherever we + go.... What with riding, rehearsing, and acting, my days are + completely filled. We start for Plymouth to-morrow at eight, and + act "Romeo and Juliet" in the evening, which is rather laborious + work. We play there every night next week. When next I write I will + tell you of our further plans, which are at this moment still + uncertain.... + + Affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + +[These were the days before railroads had run everything and everybody +up to London. There were still to be found then, in various parts of +England, life that was peculiar and provincial, and manners that had in +them a character of their own and a stamp of originality that had often +quite as much to attract as to repel. Men and women are, of course, +still the same that sat to that enchanting painter, Jane Austen, but the +whole form and color and outward framing and various countenance of +their lives have merged its distinctiveness in a commonplace conformity +to universal custom; and in regard to the more superficial subjects of +her fine and gentle satire, if she were to return among us she would +find half her occupation gone.] + + _Monday, August 1st._--I got some books while waiting for the + coach, and we started at half-past eight. The heat was intolerable + and the dust suffocating, but the country through which we passed + was lovely. For a long time we drove along the brow of a steep + hill. The valley was all glorious with the harvest: corn-fields + with the red-gold billows yet untouched by the sickle; others full + of sunburnt reapers sweeping down the ripe ears; others, again, + silent and deserted, with the tawny sheaves standing, bound and + dry, upon the bristling stubble, on the ground over which they + rippled and nodded yesterday, a great rolling sea of burnished + grain. All over the sunny landscape peace and prosperity smiled, + and gray-steepled churches and red-roofed villages, embowered in + thick protecting shade, seemed to beckon the eye to rest as it + wandered over the charming prospect. The white-walled mansions of + the lords of the land glittered from the verdant shelter of their + surrounding plantations, and the thirsty cattle, beautiful in color + and in grouping, stood in pools in the deeper parts of the brooks, + where some giant tree threw its shadow over the water and the + smooth sheltered sward round its feet. In spite of this charming + prospect I was very sad, and the purple heather bordering the road, + with its thick tufts, kept suggesting Weybridge and the hours I had + lately spent there so happily.... To shake myself I took up "Adam + Blair;" and, good gracious! what a shaking it did give me! What a + horrible book! And how could D---- have recommended me to read it? + It is a very fine and powerful piece of work, no doubt; but I + turned from it with infinite relief to "Quentin Durward." Walter + Scott is quite exciting enough for wholesome pleasure; there is no + poison in anything that he has ever written: for how many hours of + harmless happiness the world may bless him! + + At Totnes we got out of the coach to shake ourselves, for we were + absolute dust-heaps, and then resumed our powdery way, and reached + Plymouth at about four o'clock. As we walked up toward our + lodgings, we were met by Mr. Brunton, with the pleasing + intelligence that those we had bespoken had been let, by some + mistake, to another family. Dusty, dreary, and disconsolate, I sat + down on the stairs which were to have been ours, while Dall + upbraided the hostess of the house, and my father did what was more + to the purpose--posted off to find other apartments for us; no easy + matter, for the town is crammed to overflowing. In the mean time a + little blue-eyed fairy, of about two years old, came and made + friends with me, and I presently had her fast asleep in my lap. + After carrying my prize into an empty room, and sitting by it for + nearly half an hour while it slept the sleep of the blessed, I was + called away from this very new interest, for my father had + succeeded in finding house-room for us, and I had yet all my + preparations to make for the evening. + + The theater is a beautiful building for its purpose, of a perfectly + discreet size, neither too large nor too small, of a very elegant + shape, and capitally constructed for the voice. The house was very + _full_; the play, "Romeo and Juliet." I played abominably ill, and + did not like my audience, who must have been very good-natured if + they liked me. + + _Tuesday, August 2d._--Rose at seven, and went off down to the sea, + and that was delightful. In the evening the play was "Venice + Preserved." I acted very well, notwithstanding that I had to prompt + my Jaffier through every scene, not only as to words, but position + on the stage, and "business," as it is called. How unprincipled and + ungentlemanlike this is! The house was very fine, and a pleasanter + audience than the first night. Found a letter from Mrs. Jameson + after the play, with an account of Pasta's "Anna Bolena." How I + wish I could see it! + + _Wednesday, August 3d._--Rose at seven, and went down to the sea to + bathe. The tide was out, and I had to wait till the nymphs had + filled my bath-tub.... At the theater in the evening, the play was + "The Stranger." The house not so good as last night, and the + audience were disagreeably noisy.... + + _Thursday, August 4th._--They will not let me take my sea-bath + every morning; they say it makes me too weak. Do they mean in the + head, I wonder?... "Let the sanguine then take warning, and the + disheartened take courage, for to every hope and every fear, to + every joy and every sorrow, there comes a last day," which is but a + didactic form of dear Mademoiselle Descuillier's conjuring of our + impatiences: "Cela viendra, ma chère, cela viendra, car tout vient + dans ce monde; cela passera, ma chère, cela passera, car tout passe + dans ce monde." ... I finished my drawing, and copied some of "The + Star of Seville." I wonder if it will ever be acted? I think I + should like to see a play of mine acted. In the evening at the + theater, the play was "Isabella." The house was very full, and I + played well. The wretched manager will not afford us a green baize + for our tragedies, and we faint and fall and die upon bare boards, + and my unhappy elbows are bruised black and blue with their + carpetless stage, barbarians that they be! + + _Friday, August 5th._--Down to the sea at seven o'clock; the tide + was far out, the lead-colored strand, without its bright + foam-fringes, looked bleak and dreary; it was not expected to be + batheable till eleven, and as I had not breakfasted, I could not + wait till then. Lingered on the shore, as Tom Tug says, thinking of + nothing at all, but inhaling the fresh air and delicious sea-smell. + I stood and watched a party of pleasure put off from the shore, + consisting of a basket of fuel, two baskets of provisions, a + cross-looking, thin, withered, bony woman, wrapped in a large + shawl, and with boots thick enough to have kept her dry if she had + walked through the sea from Plymouth to Mount Edgecombe. Her + _tête-à-tête_ companion was a short, thick, squat, stumpy, dumpy, + dumpling of a man, in a round jacket, and very tight striped + trousers. "Sure such a pair were never seen." The sour she, stepped + into their small boat first, but as soon as her fat playfellow + seated himself by her, the poor little cockle-shell dipped so with + the increased weight that the tail of the cross-shawl hung deep in + the water. I called after them, and they rectified the accident + without sending me back a "Thank you." I love the manners of my + country-folk, they are so unsophisticated with civility. + + At the theater the play was "The Gamester," for my benefit, and the + house was very fine. My father played magnificently; I "not even + excellent well, but only so-so." The actors none of them knew their + parts, abominable persons; and as for Stukely--well! Mdlle. + Dumesnil, in her great, furious scene in Hermione, ended her + imprecations against Orestes by spitting in her handkerchief and + throwing it in his face. The handkerchief spoils the frenzy. I + wonder if it ever occurred to Mrs. Siddons so to wind up her abuse + of Austria in "King John." By the by, it was when asked to give his + opinion of the comparative merits of Clairon and Dumesnil, that + Garrick said, "Mdlle. Clairon was the greatest actress of the age, + but that for Mdlle. Dumesnil he was not aware that he had seen her, + but only Phedre, Rodogund, and Hermione, when she did them." After + the play the audience clamored for my father. He thought that + "l'envie leur en passerait;" and not being in a very good humor, he + declined appearing. The uproar went on, the overture to the farce + was inaudible, and the curtain drew up amid the deafening shouts of + "Kemble! Kemble!"--they would not suffer the poor _farçeurs_ to go + on, even in dumb show. I was at the side scene, and thought it + really a pity not to put an end to all the fuss; so I went to my + father, who was standing at the stage door in the street, and + requested him to stop the disturbance by coming forward at once. He + turned round, and without saying anything but "Tu me le + conseilles," walked straight upon the stage, and addressed the + audience as follows: "Ladies and gentlemen, I had left the theater + when word was brought to me that you had done me the honor to call + for me; as I conclude you have done so merely in conformity to a + custom which is becoming the fashion of calling for certain + performers after the play, I can only say, ladies and gentlemen, + that I enter my protest against such a custom. It is a foreign + fashion, and we are Englishmen; therefore I protest against it. I + will take my leave of you by parodying Mercutio's words: Ladies and + gentlemen, _bon soir_; there's a French salutation for you." So + saying he walked off the stage, leaving the audience rather + surprised; and so was I. I think he is laboring under an incipient + bilious attack. + + We had a long discussion to-day as to the possibility of women + being good dramatic writers. I think it so impossible that I + actually believe their physical organization is against it; and, + after all, it is great nonsense saying that intellect is of no sex. + The brain is, of course, of the same sex as the rest of the + creature; besides, the original feminine nature, the whole of our + training and education, our inevitable ignorance of common life and + general human nature, and the various experience of existence, from + which we are debarred with the most sedulous care, is insuperably + against it. Perhaps some of the manly, wicked Queens Semiramis, + Cleopatra, could have written plays; but they lived their tragedies + instead of writing them. + + _Saturday, August 6th._--After breakfast our excellent architect + came to fetch us for our expedition to the breakwater. My father + complained of being dreadfully bilious, a bad preparation for the + purpose. I wanted to stay at home with him, or at all events to put + off the party for an hour or two; but he would not hear of either + plan. So as soon as I was ready we set off. We walked first to the + M----s', and then proceeded in a body to the shore, where a + Government boat was waiting for us; and what a cargo we were, to be + sure! My father, certainly no feather; our worthy friend, who must + weigh eighteen stone, if a pound; Mr. and Mrs. W----, thinnish + bodies; but her friend, Dall, and myself decidedly thickish ones; + then the pilot, a gaunt, square Scotchman; and four stout sailors. + The gallant little craft courtesied and courtesied as she received + us, one by one, and at length, when we were all fairly and pretty + closely packed, she put off, and breasted the water bravely, rising + and dancing on the back of the waves like a dolphin. I should have + enjoyed it but for my father's ghastly face of utter misery. The + day was dull, the sky and sea lead-colored, the brown coast by + degrees lost its distinctness, and became covered with a dark haze + that seemed to blend everything into a still, stony, threatening + iron-gray mass. The wind rose, the sea became inky black and + swelled into heavy ridges, which made our little vessel dip deep + and spring high, as she toiled forward; and then down came the + rain--such tremendous rain! Cloaks, shawls, and umbrellas were + speedily produced; but we were two miles from shore, between the + rising sea and the falling clouds, sick, wet, squeezed. Oh the + delights of that party of pleasure! My father looked cadaverous, + Dall was portentously silent, I shut my eyes and tried to sleep, + being in that state when to see, or hear, or speak, or be spoken + to, is equally fatal. At length we reached the foot of the + breakwater, and I sprang out of the boat, too happy to touch the + stable rock. The rain literally fell in sheets from the sky, and + the wind blew half a hurricane; but I was on firm ground, and + taking off my bonnet, which only served the purpose of a + water-spout down my back, I ran, while Mr. M----, holding my arm, + strode along the mighty water-based road, while the angry sea, + turning up black caldrons full of boiling foam, dashed them upon + the barrier man has raised against its fury in magnificent, solemn + wrath. This breakwater is a noble work; the daring of the + conception, its vast size and strength, and the utility of its + purpose, are alike admirable. We do these things and die; we ride + upon the air and water, we guide the lightning and we bridle the + sea, we borrow the swiftness of the wind and the fine subtlety of + the fire; we lord it in this universe of ours for a day, and then + our bodies are devoured by these material slaves we have + controlled, and helplessly mingle their dust with the elements that + have obeyed our will, who reabsorb the garment of our soul when + that has fled--whither? + + The rain continuing to fall in torrents, and my father being + wretchedly unwell, we gave up our purpose of visiting Mount + Edgecombe, and returned to Plymouth. The sea was horribly rough, + even inside the breakwater; but I shut my eyes that I might not see + how we heaved, and sang that I might not think how sick I was: and + so we reached shore, and I ran up and down the steep beach while + the rest were disembarking, and the wind soon dried my light muslin + clothes. The other poor things continued drenched till we reached + home. After a good rest, we went to our dinner at Mr. W----'s; my + father was all right again, and our party, that had separated in + such dismal plight, met again very pleasantly in the evening. Mr. + W---- got quite tipsy with talking, an accident not uncommon with + eager, excitable men, and all but overwhelmed me with an argument + about dramatic writing, in which he was wrong from beginning to + end.... We leave Plymouth to-morrow. + + _Sunday, August 7th._--Started for Exeter at seven, and slept + nearly the whole way by little bits; between each nap getting + glimpses of the pleasant land that blended for a moment with my + hazy, dream-like thoughts, and then faded away before my closing + eyes. One patch of moorland that I woke to see was lovely--all + purple heather and golden gorse; nature's royal mantle thrown, it + is true, over a barren soil, whose gray, cold, rifted ridges of + rock contrasted beautifully with its splendid clothing. We got to + Exeter at two o'clock, and I was thankful to rest the rest of the + day. + + _Monday, August 8th._--I read old Biagio's preface to Dante, which, + from its amazing classicality, is almost as difficult as the + crabbed old Florentine's own writing. Worked at a rather elaborate + sketch tolerably successfully, and was charmingly interrupted by + having our landlady's pretty little child brought in to me. She is + a beautiful baby, but will be troublesome enough by and by.... At + the theater the house was very good; I played tolerably well upon + the whole, but felt so fagged and faint toward the end of the play + that I could hardly stand. + + _Tuesday, August 9th._--I sometimes wish I was a stone, a tree, + some senseless, soulless, irresponsible thing; that ebbing sea + rolling before me, its restlessness is obedience to the law of its + nature, not striving against it, neither is it "the miserable life + in it" urging it to ceaseless turmoil and agitation. We dined + early, and then started for Dorchester, which we reached at + half-past ten, after a most fatiguing journey. It was a still, gray + day, an atmosphere and light I like; there is a clearness about it + that is pleasanter sometimes than the dazzle of sunshine. Some of + the country we drove through was charming, particularly the vale of + Honiton.... I have an immense bedroom here; a whole army of ghosts + might lodge in it. I hope, if there are any, they will be civil, + well-behaved, and, above all, invisible. + + _Wednesday, August 10th._ ... At ten o'clock we started for + Weymouth, where we arrived in the course of an hour, and found it + basking on the edge of a lovely summer sea, with a dozen varying + zones of color streaking its rippling surface; from the deep, dark + purple heaving against the horizon to the delicate pearl-edged, + glassy golden-green that spreads its transparent sheets over the + sparkling sand of the beach. The bold chalky cliffs of the shore + send back the burning sunlight with blinding brightness, and + stretch away as far as eye can follow in hazy outlines, that + glimmer faintly through the shimmering mist. It is all very + beautiful.... I got ready my things for the theater, ... and when I + got there I was amused and amazed at its absurdly small + proportions; it is a perfect doll's playhouse, and until I saw that + my father really could stand upon the stage, I thought that I + should fill it entirely by myself. How well I remember all the + droll stories my mother used to tell about old King George III. and + Queen Charlotte, who had a passion for Weymouth, and used to come + to the funny little theater here constantly; and how the princesses + used to dress her out in their own finery for some of her parts. [I + long possessed a very perfect coral necklace of magnificent single + beads given to my mother on one of these occasions by the Princess + Amelia.] The play was "Romeo and Juliet," and our masquerade scene + was in the height of the modern fashion, for there was literally + not room to stir; and what between my nurse and my father I + suffered very nearly total eclipse, besides much danger of being + knocked down each time either of them moved. In the balcony, + besides me, there was a cloud, which occasionally interfered with + my hair, and I think must have made my face appear to the audience + like a chin and mouth speaking out of the sky. To be sure, this + inconvenient scenic decoration made rather more appropriate the + lines which Shakespeare wrote (only unfortunately Romeo never + speaks them), "Two of the stars," etc. I acted very well, but was + so dreadfully tired at the end of the play that they were obliged + to carry me up to my dressing-room, where I all but fainted away; + in spite of which, as I got out of the carriage at the door of our + lodging, hearing the dear voice of the sea calling me, I tried to + persuade Dall to come down to it with me; but she, thinking I had + had enough of emotion and exertion, made me go in and eat my supper + and go to bed, which was detestable on her part, and so I told her, + which she didn't mind in the least. + + _Thursday, August 11th._--A kind and courteous and most courtly old + Mr. M---- called upon us, to entreat that we would dine with him + during our stay in Weymouth; but it is really impossible, with all + our hard work, to do society duty too, so I begged permission to + decline. After he was gone we walked down to the pier, and took + boat and rowed to Portland. The sky was cloudless, and the sea + without a wave, and through its dark-blue transparent roofing we + saw clearly the bottom, one forest of soft, undulating weeds, + which, catching the sunlight through the crystal-clear water, + looked like golden woods of some enchanted world within its depths; + and it looks just as weird and lovely when folks go drowning down + there, only they don't see it. I sang Mrs. Hemans's "What hid'st + thou in thy treasure-caves and cells?" and sang and sang till, + after rowing for an hour over the hardly heaving, smooth surface, + we reached the foot of the barren stone called Portland. We landed, + and Dall remained on the beach while my father and I toiled up the + steep ascent. The sun's rays fell perpendicularly on our heads, the + short, close grass which clothed the burning, stony soil was as + slippery as glass with the heat, and I have seldom had a harder + piece of exercise than climbing that rock, from the summit of which + one wide expanse of dazzling water and glaring white cliffs, that + scorched one's eyeballs, was all we had for our reward. To be sure, + exertion is a pleasure in itself, and when one's strength serves + one's courage, the greater the exertion the greater the pleasure. + We saw below us a railroad cut in the rock to convey the huge + masses of stone from the famous quarries down to the shore. The + descent looked almost vertical, and we watched two immense loads go + slowly down by means of a huge cylinder and chains, which looked as + if the world might hang upon them in safety. I lay down on the + summit of the rock while my father went off exploring further, and + the perfect stillness of the solitude was like a spell. There was + not a sound of life but the low, drowsy humming of the bees in the + stone-rooted tufts of fragrant thyme. On our return we had to run + down the steep, slippery slopes, striking our feet hard to the + earth to avoid falling; firm walking footing there was none. When + we joined Dall we found, to our utter dismay, that it was five + o'clock; we bundled ourselves _pêle-mêle_ into the boat and bade + the boatman row, row, for dear life; but while we were indulging in + the picturesque he had been indulging in fourpenny, which made him + very talkative, and his tongue went faster than his arms. I longed + for John to make our boat fly over the smooth, burnished sea; the + oars came out of the water like long bars of diamond dropping gold. + We touched shore just at six, swallowed three mouthfuls of dinner, + and off to the theater. The play was "Venice Preserved." I dressed + as quick as lightning, and was ready in time. The house was not + very good, and I am sure I should have wondered if it had been, + when the moon is just rising over the fresh tide that is filling + the basin, and a delicious salt breeze blows along the beach, and + the stars are lighting their lamps in heaven; and surely nobody but + those who cannot help it would be breathing the gas and smoke and + vile atmosphere of the playhouse. I played well, and when we came + home ran down and stood a few minutes by the sea; but the moon had + set, and the dark palpitating water only reflected the long line of + lights from the houses all along the curving shore. + + _Friday, August 12th, Portsmouth._-- ... The hotel where we are + staying is quite a fine house, and the Assembly balls used to be + held here, and so there is a fine large "dancing-hall deserted" of + which I avail myself as a music-room, having entire and solitary + possession of it and a piano.... At the theater the house was good, + and I played well.... + + _Monday, August 15th, Southampton._--After breakfast practised till + eleven, and then went to rehearsal; after which Emily Fitzhugh came + for me, and we drove out to Bannisters. Poor Mrs. Fitzhugh was + quite overcome at seeing my father, whom she has not seen since + Mrs. Siddons's death; we left her with him to talk over Campbell's + application to her for my aunt's letters. He has behaved badly + about the whole business, and I hope Mrs. Fitzhugh will not let him + have them.... When we came in I went and looked at Lawrence's + picture of my aunt in the dining-room (now in the National Gallery; + it was painted for Mrs. Fitzhugh). It is a fine rich piece of + coloring, but there is a want of ease and grace in the figure, and + of life in the countenance, and altogether I thought it looked like + a handsome dark cow in a coral necklace. O ox-eyed Juno! forgive + the thought.... At the theater the house was good; the play was + "Romeo and Juliet," and I played well. While I was changing my + dress for the tomb scene--putting on my grave-clothes, in fact--I + had desired my door to be shut, for I hate that lugubrious + funeral-dirge. How I do hate, and have always hated, that stage + funeral business, which I never see without a cold shudder at its + awful unfitness. I can't conceive how that death's pageant was ever + tolerated in a theater. [I think Mrs. Bellamy, in her "Memoirs," + mentions that it was first introduced as a piece of new sensation + when she and Garrick were dividing the town with the efforts of + their rival managership.] At present the pretext for it is to give + the necessary time for setting the churchyard scene and for Juliet + to change her dress, which she has no business to do according to + the text, for it expressly says that she shall be buried in all her + finest attire, according to her country's custom. In spite of which + I was always arrayed in long white muslin draperies and veils, with + my head bound up, corpse fashion, and lying, as my aunt had + stretched me, on the black bier in the vault, with all my white + folds drawn like carved stone robes along my figure and round my + feet, with my hands folded and my eyes shut. I have had some bad + nervous minutes, sometimes fancying, "Suppose I should really die + while I am lying here, making believe to be dead!" and imagining + the surprise and dismay of my Romeo when I didn't get up; and at + others fighting hard against heavy drowsiness of over-fatigue, lest + I should be fast asleep, if not dead, when it came to my turn to + speak--though I might have depended upon the furious bursting open + of the doors of the vault for my timely waking. Talking over this + with Mrs. Fitzhugh one day she told me a comical incident of the + stage life of her friend, the fascinating Miss Farren. The devotion + of the Earl of Derby to her, which preceded for a long time the + death of Lady Derby, from whom he was separated, and his marriage + to Miss Farren, made him a frequent visitor behind the scenes on + the nights of her performance. One evening, in the famous scene in + Joseph Surface's library in "The School for Scandal," when Lady + Teazle is imprisoned behind the screen, Miss Farren, fatigued with + standing, and chilled with the dreadful draughts of the stage, had + sent for an armchair and her furs, and when this critical moment + arrived, and the screen was overturned, she was revealed, in her + sable muff and tippet, entirely absorbed in an eager conversation + with Lord Derby, who was leaning over the back of her chair. + + _Tuesday, 16th, Southampton._--After breakfast walked down to the + city wall, which has remnants of great antiquity they say, as old + as the Danes, one bit being still heroically called "Canute's + Castle." + + _Wednesday, August 17th._--Went to the theater, and rehearsed "The + Stranger." On my return found Emily waiting for me, and drove with + her to Bannisters.... In the evening, at the theater, the house was + very good, but I played only so-so, and not at all excellent + well.... + + _Thursday, August 18th._--While I was practising I came across that + pretty piece of ballad pathos, "The Banks of Allan Water," and sang + myself into sobbing. Luckily I was interrupted by Dall and my + father, who came in with a little girl, poor unfortunate! whose + father had brought her to show how well she deserved an engagement + at Covent Garden. She sat down to the piano at his desire, and + panted through the great cavatina in the "Gazza Ladra." Poor little + thing! I never heard or saw anything that so thoroughly impressed + me with the brutal ignorance of our people; for there is scarcely + an Englishman of that man's condition, situated as he is, who would + not have done the same thing. A child of barely ten years old made + to sing her lungs away for four hours every day, when it is not + possible yet to know what the character and qualities of her voice + will be, or even if she will have any voice at all. Wasting her + health and strength in attempting "The Soldier Tired" and "Di + piacer," it really was pitiful. We gave her plenty of kind words + and compliments, and sundry pieces of advice to him, which he will + not take, and in a few months no doubt we shall hear of little Miss + H---- singing away as a prodigy, and in a few years the voice, + health, and strength will all be gone, and probably the poor little + life itself have been worn out of its fragile case. Stupid + barbarian! After rehearsal drove to Bannisters.... In the evening, + at the theater, the play was "The Provoked Husband." The house was + very full; I played fairly well. I was rather tired, and Lady + Townley's bones ached, for I had been taking a rowing lesson from + Emily, and supplied my want of skill, tyro fashion, with a deal of + unnecessary effort. + + _Friday, August 19th._-- ... It sometimes occurs to me that our + spirits, when dwelling with the utmost intensity of longing upon + those who are distant from us, must create in them some perception, + some consciousness of our spiritual presence, so that not by the + absent whom I love thinking of me, but by my thinking of them, they + must receive some intimation of the vividness with which my soul + sees and feels them. It seems to me as if my earnest desire and + thought must not bring those they dwell on to me, but render me in + some way perceptible, if not absolutely visible, to them. + + "Though thou see me not pass by, + Thou shalt feel me with thine eye." + + I fancy I must create my own image to their senses by the clinging + passion with which my thoughts dwell on them. And yet it would be + rather fearful if one were thus subject, not only to the disordered + action of one's own imagination, but to the ungoverned imaginations + of others; and so, upon the whole, I don't believe people would be + allowed to pester other people with their presence only by dint of + thinking hard enough and long enough about them. It would be + intolerable, and yet I have sometimes fancied I was thinking myself + visible to some one.... In the evening, at the theater, the house + was very good; the play was "The Gamester," and I played very ill. + I felt fagged to death; my work tires me, and I am growing old. + + _Saturday, 20th._--At Bannisters all the morning. Emily gave me two + charming Italian songlets, and then they drove us down to + Southampton. At the theater this evening the house was all but + empty, owing to some stupid blunder in the advertisement. The play + was "The School for Scandal," and I played well.... To-morrow I + shall be at home once more in smoky London. + + + SOUTHAMPTON, August 19, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I do not like to defer answering you any longer, though I am not + very fit to write, for I am half blind with crying, and have a + torturing side-ache, the results of bodily fatigue and nervous + anxiety; but if I do not write to you to-night I know not when I + shall be able to do so, for I shall have to rehearse every morning + and to act every night, and I expect the intermediate hours will be + spent on the road to and from Bannisters, the Fitzhughs' place near + here. I have been traveling ever since half-past eight to-day, and, + have hardly been three hours out of the coach which brought us from + Weymouth, where we have been acting for the last week. Your letter + followed me from Plymouth, and right glad I was to get it.... I do + not know what I can write you of if not myself, and I dare say, + after all, my thoughts are more amusing to you, or rather, perhaps, + more useful, in your processes of observing and studying human + nature in general, through my individual case, than if I wrote you + word what plays we had been acting, etc., etc.... To meet pain, no + matter how severe, the mind girds up its loins, and finds a sort of + strength of resistance in its endurance, which is a species of + activity. To endure helplessly prolonged suspense is another matter + quite, and a far heavier demand upon all patient power than is in + one.... + + So you have seen the railroad; I am so glad you have seen that + magnificent invention. I wish I had been on it with you. I wish you + had seen Stephenson; you would have delighted in him, I am sure. + The hope of meeting him again is one of the greatest pleasures + Liverpool holds out to me.... With regard to what are called "fine + people," and liking their society better than that of "not fine + people," I suppose a good many tolerable reasons might be adduced + by persons who have that preference. They do not often say very + wise or very witty things, I dare say; but neither do they tread on + one's feet or poke their elbows into one's side (figuratively + speaking) in their conversation, or commit the numerous solecisms + of manner of less well-bred people. For myself, my social position + does not entitle me to mix with the superior class of human beings + generally designated as "fine people." My father's indolence + renders their society an irksome exertion to him, and my mother's + pride always induces her to hang back rather than to make advances + to anybody. We are none of us, therefore, inclined to be very keen + tuft-hunters. But for these very reasons, if "fine people" seek me, + it is a decided compliment, by which my vanity is flattered. A + person with less of that quality might be quite indifferent to + their notice, but I think their society, as far as I have had any + opportunity of observing it, has certain positive merits, which + attract me irrespectively of the gratification of my vanity. Genius + and pre-eminent power of intellect, of course, belong to no class, + and one would naturally prefer the society of any individual who + possessed these to that of the King of England (who, by the by, is + not, I believe, particularly brilliant). I would rather pass a day + with Stephenson than with Lord Alvanley, though the one is a + coal-digger by birth, who occasionally murders the king's English, + and the other is the keenest wit and one of the finest gentlemen + about town. But Stephenson's attributes of genius, industry, mental + power, and perseverance are his individually, while Lord Alvanley's + gifts and graces (his wit, indeed, excepted) are, in good measure, + those of his whole social set. Moreover, in the common superficial + intercourse of society, the minds and morals of those you meet are + really not what you come in contact with half the time, while from + their manners there is, of course, no escape; and therefore those + persons may well be preferred as temporary associates whose manners + are most refined, easy, and unconstrained, as I think those of + so-called "fine people" are. Originality and power of intellect + belong to no class, but with information, cultivation, and the + mental advantages derived from education, "fine people" are perhaps + rather better endowed, as a class, than others. Their lavish means + for obtaining instruction, and their facilities for traveling, if + they are but moderately endowed by nature and moderately inclined + to profit by them, certainly enable them to see, hear, and know + more of the surface of things than others. This is, no doubt, a + merely superficial superiority; but I suppose that there are not + many people, and certainly no class of people, high, low, or of any + degree, who go much below surfaces.... If you knew how, long after + I have passed it, the color of a tuft of heather, or the smell of a + branch of honeysuckle by the roadside, haunts my imagination, and + how many suggestions of beauty and sensations of pleasure flow from + this small spring of memory, even after the lapse of weeks and + months, you would understand what I am going to say, which perhaps + may appear rather absurd without such a knowledge of my + impressions. I think I like fine places better than "fine people;" + but then one accepts, as it were, the latter for the former, and + the effect of the one, to a certain degree, affects one's + impressions of the other. A great ball at Devonshire House, for + instance, with its splendor, its brilliancy, its beauty, and + magnificence of all sorts, remains in one's mind with the + enchantment of a live chapter of the "Arabian Nights;" and I think + one's imagination is still more impressed with the fine residences + of "fine people" in the country, where historical and poetical + associations combine with all the refinements of luxurious + civilization and all the most exquisitely cultivated beauties of + nature to produce an effect which, to a certain degree, frames + their possessors to great advantage, and invests them with a charm + which is really not theirs; and if they are only tolerably in + harmony with the places where they live, they appear charming too. + I believe the pleasure and delight I take in the music, the lights, + the wreaths, and mirrors of a splendid ball-room, and the love I + have for the smooth lawns, bright waters, and lordly oaks of a fine + domain, would disgracefully influence my impressions of the people + I met amongst them. Still, I humbly trust I do not like any of my + friends, fine or coarse, only for their belongings, though my + intercourse with the first gratifies my love of luxury and excites + what my Edinburgh friends call my ideality. I don't think, however. + I ever could like anybody, of any kind whatever, that I could not + heartily respect, let their intellectual gifts, elegance, or + refinement of manners be what they might. Good-by, dearest H----. + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, October 3, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received your last letter on Thursday morning, and as I read it + exclaimed, "We shall be able to go to her!" and passed it to Dall, + who seemed to think there was no reason why we should not, when my + father said he was afraid it could not be managed, as the theater, + upon second arrangements, would require me before this month was + over. It seems to me that, instead of one disappointment, I have + had twenty about coming to you, dear H----, and the last has fairly + broken the poor camel's back. My father promised to see what could + be done for me, and to get me spared as long as possible; but the + final arrangement is, that on the 24th I shall have to act Queen + Katharine, for which, certainly, a week of daily rehearsals will be + barely sufficient preparation. This, you see, will leave me hardly + time enough to stay at Ardgillan to warrant the fatigue and expense + of the journey. I am afraid it would be neither reasonable nor + right to spend nearly a week in traveling and the money it must + cost, to pass a fortnight with you.... Give my love to your sister, + and tell her how willingly I would have accepted her hospitality + had circumstances permitted it; but "circumstances," of which we + are so apt to complain, may, perhaps, at some future time, allow me + to be once more her guest. The course of events is, after all, far + more impartial than, in moments of disappointment, we are apt to + admit, and quite as often procures us unexpected and unthought-of + pleasures as defeats those we had proposed for ourselves. Pazienza! + Dear Dall, who, I see, has produced her invariable impression upon + your mind, bids me thank you for the kind things you say of her, at + the same time that she says, "though they are undeserved, she is + thankful for the affection that dictates them." She is excellent. + You bid me tell you of my father, and how his health and spirits + continue to struggle against his exertions and anxieties: tolerably + well, thank God! I sometimes think they have the properties of that + palm tree which is said to grow under the pressure of immense + weights. He looks very well, and, except the annoyances of his + position in the theater, has rather less cause for depression than + for some time past. Though we have not yet obtained our "decree," + we understand that the Lord Chancellor says openly that we shall + get it, so that uncertainty of the issue no longer aggravates the + wearisome delays of this unlucky appeal.... I need not tell you + what my feeling about acting Queen Katharine is; you, who know how + conscious I am of my own deficiencies for such an undertaking, will + easily conceive my distress at having such a task assigned me. + Dall, who entirely agrees with me about it, wishes me to + remonstrate upon the subject, but that I will not do. I am in that + theater to earn my living by serving its interests, and if I was + desired to act Harlequin, for those two purposes, should feel bound + to do so. But I cannot help thinking the management short-sighted. + I think their real interest, as far as I am concerned, which they + overlook for some immediate tangible advantage, is not to destroy + my popularity by putting me into parts which I must play ill, and + not to take from my future career characters which require physical + as well as mental maturity, and which would be my natural resources + when I no longer become Juliet and her youthful sisters of the + drama. But of course they know their own affairs, and I am not the + manager of the theater. Those who have its direction, I suppose, + make the best use they can of their instruments. + +[My performance of Queen Katharine was not condemned as an absolute +failure only because the public in general didn't care about it, and the +friends and well-wishers of the theater were determined not to consider +it one. But as I myself remember it, it deserved to be called nothing +else; it was a school-girl's performance, tame, feeble, and ineffective, +entirely wanting in the weight and dignity indispensable for the part, +and must sorely have tried the patience and forbearance of such of my +spectators as were fortunate and unfortunate enough to remember my aunt; +one of whom, her enthusiastic admirer, and my excellent friend, Mr. +Harness, said that seeing me in that dress was like looking at Mrs. +Siddons through the diminishing end of an opera-glass: I should think my +acting of the part must have borne much the same proportion to hers. I +was dressed for the trial scene in imitation of the famous picture by +Harlow, and of course must have recalled, in the most provoking and +absurd manner, the great actress whom I resembled so little and so much. +In truth, I could hardly sustain the weight of velvet and ermine in +which I was robed, and to which my small girlish figure was as little +adapted as my dramatic powers were to the matronly dignity of the +character. I cannot but think that if I might have dressed the part as +Queen Katharine really dressed herself, and been allowed to look as like +as I could to the little dark, hard-favored woman Holbein painted, it +would have been better than to challenge such a physical as well as +dramatic comparison by the imitation of my aunt's costume in the part. +Englishmen of her day will never believe that Katharine of Arragon could +have looked otherwise than Mrs. Siddons did in Shakespeare's play of +"Henry VIII.;" but nothing could in truth be more unlike the historical +woman than the tall, large, bare-armed, white-necked, Juno-eyed, +ermine-robed ideal of queenship of the English stage. That quintessence +of religious, conscientious bigotry and royal Spanish pride is given, +both in the portraits of contemporary painters and in Shakespeare's +delineation of her; the splendid magnificence of my aunt's person and +dress, as delineated in Harlow's picture, has no affinity whatever to +the real woman's figure, or costume, or character.] + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, October 12, 1831. + DEAREST H----, + + I received my book and your letter very safely about a week ago, + and would have written to say so sooner, but have been much + occupied with one thing and another that has prevented me. So you + are beaten, _vieilles perukes_ that you are! not by one or two, but + by forty-one; and your bones are all the likelier to ache, and I am + not at all sorry. Think of Brougham going down on his marrow-bones + (there can be none in them, though), and adjuring the Lords, con + quella voce! e quel viso! to pass the Bill, like good boys, and + remember the schoolmaster, who surely, when he is at home, cannot + be said to be abroad. A good _coup de théâtre_ is not an easy + thing, and requires a good deal of tact and skill. I cannot help + thinking there must have been something grotesque in this + performance of Brougham's, as when Liston turned tragedian and + recited Collins's "Ode to the Passions" in a green coat and top + boots. The excitement, however, was tremendous; the House thronged + to suffocation; as many people crammed into impossible space as the + angels in the famous Needle-point controversy. Lady Glengall + declares that she sat for four hours on an iron bar. I think this + universal political effervescence has got into my head. And what + will you do now? You cannot create forty-one Peers; the whole Book + of Genesis affords no precedent. I suppose Parliament will be + prorogued, ministers will go out, a "cloth of gold" and "cloth of + frieze" Government, with Brougham and Wellington brought together + into it, will be cobbled, and a new Bill, which will set the teeth + of the Lords so badly on edge, will be concocted, which the people + will accept rather than nothing, if they are taken in the right + way. That, I suppose, is what you Whigs will do; for an adverse + majority of forty-one must be turned somehow or other, as it can + hardly be gone straight at by folks who mean to keep on the box, or + hold the reins, or carry the coach to the end of the journey.... + + I do not know at all how I should like to live in a palace; I am + furiously fond of magnificence and splendor, and not unreasonably, + seeing that I was born in a palace, with a sapphire ceiling hung + with golden lamps, and velvet floors all embroidered with + sweet-smelling, lovely-colored flowers, and walls of veined marble + and precious, sparkling stones. I almost doubt if any mere royal + palace would be good enough for me, or answer my turn. I should + like all the people in the world to be as beautiful as angels, and + go about crowned with glory and clothed with light (dear me, how + very different they are!); but failing all that I should like in + the way of enormously beautiful things, I pick up and treasure like + a baby all the little broken bits of splendor and sumptuousness, + and thank Heaven that their number and gradations are infinite, + from the rainbow that the sun spans the heavens with, to the fine, + small jewel drawn from the bowels of the earth to glitter on a + lady's neck.... + + My dearest H----, I wish I were with you with all my heart, but, as + if to diminish my regret by putting the thing still further beyond + the region of possibility, I act next Monday the 17th, instead of + the 24th. (They say "a miss is as good as a mile;" why does it + always seem so much worse, then?) I begin with Belvidera, and have + already begun my cares and woes and tribulations about lilac satins + and silver tissues, etc., etc. Young is engaged with us, and plays + Pierre, and my father Giaffir, which will be very dreadful for me; + I do not know how I shall be able to bear all his wretchedness as + well as my own. To be a good politician one ought to have, as it + were, only one eye for truth; I do not at all mean to be + single-eyed in the good sense of the word, but to be incapable of + seeing more than one side of every question: one sees a part so + much more strongly when one does not see the whole of a matter, and + though a statesman may need a hundred eyes, I maintain that a party + politician is the better for having only one. Restricted vision is + good for work, too; people who see far and wide can seldom be very + hopeful, I should think, and hope is the very essence of working + courage. The matter in hand should always, if possible, be the + great matter to those who have to carry it through, and though + broad brains may be the best for conceiving, narrow ones are, + perhaps, the best for working with. + + Thank you for your quotation from Sir Humphry Davy; it did me good, + and even made me better for five minutes; and your Irish letter, + which interested me extremely. "Walking the world." What a sad and + touching expression; and how well it describes a broken and + desponding spirit! And yet what else are we all doing, in soul if + not in body? Is not that solitary, wandering feeling the very + essence of our existence here? + + You ask if the interests of the theater and mine are not identical? + No, I think not. The management seems to me like our Governments + for some time past, to be actuated by mere considerations of + temporary expediency; that which serves a momentary purpose is all + they consider. But it stands to reason that if they make me play + parts in which I must fail, my London popularity must decrease, and + with it my provincial profits; and that, of course, is a serious + thing. In short, dear H----, where success means bread and butter, + failure means dry bread, or none; and I hate the last, I believe, + less than the first, though, as I never tried starvation, perhaps + dry bread is nicer.... + + The excitement about the Bill is rising instead of subsiding. The + shops are all shut, and the people meeting in every direction; the + windows of Apsley House have been smashed, and Wellington's statue + (the Achilles in the Park) pelted and threatened to be pulled down. + They say that Nottingham and Belvoir Castles are burnt down. All + this is bad, and bodes, I fear, worse. Good-by, dear. + + Your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + _Thursday, August 22d._--I read some of "Cibber's Lives." I should + like to read a well-written French life of Alin Chartier, Louis + XI.'s ugly secretary, whose mouth Queen Margaret kissed while he + was sleeping, "parce qu'elle avait dit de si belles choses." In the + life, or rather the death, of Sackville, he notes his sitting up + till eleven at night as a manifest waste of human existence. It is + near two in the morning as I am now writing, but people's notions + change as to time as well as other things. We don't dine at twelve + any more. Macdonald, the sculptor, dined with us; I like him for + dear Scotland's sake, and the blessed time I passed there. After + the gentlemen came up into the drawing-room, Nourrit, the great + French tenor, sang delightfully for us; Adelaide sang and played, + and Nourrit made her try a charming duet from the "Dame Blanche," + which I accompanied, and was frightened to death for self and + sister. Macdonald wants to make a statue of me in "The Grecian + Daughter," at the moment of veiling the face: he is right. An + interval of some time elapsed, in which I did not keep my journal + regularly. I had a long visit from my friend Miss S----. The + lawsuit about the theater continued, the affairs of the concern + becoming more and more involved in difficulties every day; and my + father, worried almost to death with anxiety, vexation, and hard + work, had a serious illness. + + _Saturday, November 25th._--My father was not quite so well this + morning. I took Dr. Wilson home in the carriage; he talked a great + deal about this horrible burking business (a series of atrocious + murders committed by two wretches of the names of Burk and Bishop, + for the purpose of obtaining, for the corpses of their victims, the + price paid by the Edinburgh surgeons for subjects for dissection; + the mode of death inflicted by these men came to be designated by + the name of the more hardened murderer as burking). + + I called at Fozzard's for the boys, and set them down at Angelo's + (a famous school for fencing, boxing, and single-stick, where my + brothers took lessons in those polite exercises). In the evening, + at the theater, dear Charles Young played "The Stranger" for the + last time; the house was very full, and I played very ill. After + the play Young was enthusiastically called for. I have finished + "Tennant's Tour in Greece," which I rather liked. I have been + reading "Bonaparte's Letters to Joséphine;" the vague and doubting + spirit which once or twice throws its wavering shadow across his + thoughts, startles one in contrast with the habitual tone of the + mind, which assuredly _ne doubtait de rien_, especially of what his + own power of will could accomplish. The affection he expresses for + his wife is sometimes almost poetical from its intensity, in spite + of the grossness of his language. He seems to have believed in + nothing but volition, and that volition is in itself, perhaps, a + mere form of faith. It's a dangerous worship, for the devil in that + shape does obey so long and so well before he claims his due; so + much is achieved precisely by that belief in what can be achieved; + the last round of the ladder, somehow or other, however, always + seems to break down at last, and then I doubt if the people who + fall from it can all declare, as Holcroft did when he fell from his + horse, and, as his surgeon assured him, broke his ribs, that he was + positive he had not, because in falling he had exerted the energy + of will, and could not therefore have broken his bones. + + _Sunday, 29th._--The great good fortune of a good sermon at church. + After church Mrs. Jameson, John Mason, and Mr. Loudham called; the + latter said he had good news about that fatal theater of ours, for + that Mr. Harris seemed to be inclined to come into some + accommodation, and so perhaps this cancer of a Chancery suit may + stop eating our lives away. Oh dear! I am afraid this is too good + news to be true. I went to my father's room and sat by him for a + long time, and talked about the horse I had bought for him; and + there he lies in his bed, and God knows when he will even be able + to walk again. + + _Monday, 30th._--I went to rehearsal. It seems that the managers + and proprietors (of course not my poor father) had summoned a + meeting of all the actors to try and induce them to accept for the + present a reduced rate of salary till the theater can be in some + measure relieved of its most pressing difficulties. I knew nothing + of this, and, finding them all very solemnly assembled in the + greenroom, asked them cheerfully why they were all there, which + must have struck them strangely enough. I dare say they do not know + how little I know, or wish to know, about this disastrous concern. + On my return home, I heard that Dr. Watson had seen my father, and + requested that Dr. Wilson might be sent for. They fear inflammation + of the lungs; he has gone to the very limit of his tether, for had + he continued fagging a night or two longer the effects might have + been fatal. Poor, poor father!... + + Lady Francis and Mrs. Sullivan called in the afternoon; I was + feeling miserable, and exhausted with my rehearsal. In the evening + I helped my mother to move all the furniture, which I think is + nothing in the world but a restless indication of her anxiety about + my father; it is the fourth time since she same back from the + country. + + _Tuesday, December 1st._-- ... It seems that in the arrangement, + whatever it may be, which has taken place between the actors and + the management, Mr. Harley and Mr. Egerton are the only ones who + have declined the proposed accommodation. Young has behaved like an + angel, offering to play for nothing till Christmas; how kind and + liberal he is! Mr. Abbott, Mr. Duraset, Mr. Ward, and all the + others, have been as considerate and generous as possible. But the + thing is doomed, and will go to the ground, in spite of every + effort that can be made to stave the ruin off. + + I was greeted this morning, when I came down to breakfast, with a + question that surprised and amused we very much. "Pray, Fanny," + said John, "did you ever thank Mr. Bacon (one of the editors of the + _Times_) for his book (the "Life of Francis I." which Mr. Bacon had + been kind enough to send me); for here is a very abusive critique + in to-day's _Times_ of the play last night." "Well," thought I, + "that's a comical _sequitur_, and a fine estimate of criticism;" + but the conclusion was droller still. I had not forgotten to thank + the friendly author for his book, nor had he written the article in + question; but it seems a young gentleman, much in love with Miss + Phillips (a promising and very handsome young actress at Drury + Lane), had found pulling me to pieces the easiest way of showing + his admiration for her. That is not a very exalted style of + criticism either, but it is just as well that one should + occasionally know what the praise and blame one receives may be + worth. It seems that when it was determined that Miss Sheriff + should come out, Mr. Welsh, whose pupil she was, made a great + feast, and invited two-and-twenty gentlemen connected with the + press to a private hearing of her.... In the evening, we all went + to hear her, being every way much interested in her success. John + and Henry went into the front of the house; my mother, Dr. Moore + (the Rev. Dr. Moore, a great friend of my father and mother's), and + myself, went up to our own box. The house was crammed, the pit one + black, crowded mass. Poor child! I turned as cold as ice as the + symphony of "Fair Aurora" (the opera was "Artaxerxes") began, and + she came forward with Mr. Wilson. The bravos, the clapping, the + noise, the great sound of popular excitement overpowering in all + its manifestations; and the contrast between the sense of power + conveyed by the acclamations of a great concourse of people, and + the weakness of the individual object of that demonstration, gave + me the strangest sensation when I remembered my own experience, + which I had not seen. When I saw the thousands of eyes of that + crowded pitful of men, and heard their stormy acclamations, and + then looked at the fragile, helpless, pretty young creature + standing before them trembling with terror, and all woman's fear + and shame in such an unnatural position, I more than ever marveled + how I, or any woman, could ever have ventured on so terrible a + trial, or survived the venture. It seemed to me as if the mere gaze + of all that multitude must melt the slight figure away like a + wreath of vapor in the sun, or shrivel it up like a scrap of silver + paper before a blazing fire. It made poor Dr. Moore and myself both + cry, but there was a deal more sympathy in my tears than in his; + for I had known the dizzy terror of that moment, had felt the + ground slide from under my feet and the whole air become a sea of + fiery rings before my swimming eyes. Besides my fellow-feeling for + her actual agony, I had one for what her after trials may be, and I + hoped for her that she might be able to see the truth of all things + in the midst of all things false; and then, if she takes pleasure + in her gilded toys, she will not have too bitter a heartache when + they are broken. She sang well, and soon recovered from her fright, + which, even from the first, did not affect her voice. She is rather + pretty, but does not walk or move gracefully; she was well dressed, + all but her hair, which was dressed in the present frizzy French + fashion, and looked ridiculous for Mandane. Her singing was good, + of a good style; I do not mean only that she sang "Fly, soft ideas, + fly," and "Monster away!" and "The Soldier Tired," brilliantly, + because they do not test the best singing, but the _soave + sostenuto_ of her "If e'er the cruel tyrant love," and "Let not + rage thy bosom firing," were specimens of the best and most + difficult school of singing. They were flowing, smooth, soft, and + sweet, without trick or device of mere florid ornamentation, and + were as intrinsically good in her execution as they are admirable + in that peculiar style of composition. Her shake is not genuine, + and some of her rapid descending scales want finish and accuracy; + her use of her arms and her gestures were very pretty and graceful, + and we were all greatly pleased with her. Braham was magnificently + great, in spite of his inches. What a noble artist he is! and with + what wonderful vigor he acts through his singing! being no actor at + all the moment he stops singing. Wilson sang out of tune; the music + is not in his voice, and he was frightened. Miss Cawse was rather a + dumpy Artaxerxes, which is an impertinent remark for me to make; + she has a beautiful contralto voice. The opera went off + brilliantly, and after it the audience called for "God Save the + King," which was performed. Paganini was in the box opposite to us; + what a cadaverous-looking creature he is! Came home and saw my + father, and gave him the report of Miss Sheriff's success.... + + _Friday, December 2d._-- ... I went to see Cecilia Siddons; I + thought her looking aged and thin, and Mrs. Wilkinson (Mrs. + Siddons's companion for many years previous to her death) looking + sad and ill too. They have both lost the one idea of their whole + lives. + + _Saturday, 3d._-- ... It seems the doctors recommend my father's + going to Brighton. I was urging him to do so this morning.... After + tea I looked on the map for Rhodez, the scene of that horrible + Fualdes tragedy (a murder the commission of which involved some + singular and terribly dramatic incidents). I read Daru's "History + of Venice" till bedtime. + + _Sunday, December 4th._-- ... My father, for the first time this + fortnight, was able to dine with us. After dinner I read the whole + trial of Bishop and Williams, and their confession. My mother is + reading aloud to us Lord Edward Fitzgerald's Life. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, December 4, 1831. + DEAR H----, + + It is at the sensible hour of a quarter-past twelve at night that I + begin this immense sheet of paper, and with the sensible purpose of + filling it before I go to bed.... What an unsatisfactory invention + letter-writing is, to be sure; and yet there is none better for the + purpose. When you asked me so affectionately in your letter whether + I was going to bed, I concluded naturally that you were writing to + me instead of doing so yourself; but I received the letter at + half-past nine in the morning, when I was getting ready to ride. + This sort of epistolary cross-questions and crooked answers is + sometimes droll, but oftener sad: we weep with those who did weep, + when they have dried their eyes; and rejoice with those who did + rejoice, but the corners of whose mouths are already drawn down for + crying, while we fancy we are smiling sympathetically with them.... + You ask me how the world goes with me, and I can only say round, as + I suppose it does with everybody. All goes on precisely as usual + with me; my life is exceedingly uniform, and it is seldom that + anything occurs to disturb its monotonous routine. My dear father, + thank Heaven, is better, but still very weak, and I fear it will be + yet some time before he recovers his strength. He came down to + dinner to-day for the first time in this fortnight; indeed, it is + only since the day before yesterday that he has left his bed; but I + trust that this attack will serve him for a long time, and that + with rest and quiet he will regain his strength. + + I am really glad my aunt Kemble is better, though I remember having + some not unpleasant ideas as to how, if she were not, you would go + to Leamington to nurse her, and so come on and stay with us in + London; but I cannot wish it at the price of her prolonged + indisposition, poor woman!... I am sorry to say my father is + pronounced worse to-day; he has a bad side-ache, and they are + applying mustard poultices to overcome it. There is some + apprehension of a return of fever. This is a real and terrible + anxiety, dear H----. The theater, too, is going on very ill, and he + is unable to give it any assistance; and for the same reason I can + do nothing for it, for all my plays require him, except Isabella + and Fazio, and these are worn threadbare. It is all very gloomy; + but, however, time doth not stand still, and will some day come to + the end of the journey with us.... You say Undine reminds you of + me.... The feeling of an existence more closely allied to the + elements of the material universe than even we acknowledge our + dust-formed bodies to be, possesses me sometimes almost like a + little bit of magnus; bright colors, fleeting lights and shadows, + flowers, and above all water, the pure, sparkling, harmonious, + powerful element, excite in me a feeling of intimate fellowship, of + love, almost greater than any human companionship does. Perhaps, + after all, I am only an animated morsel of my palace, this + wonderful, beautiful world. Do you not believe in numberless, + invisible existences, filling up the vast intermediate distance + between God and ourselves, in the lonely and lovely haunts of + nature and her more awful and gloomy recesses? It seems as if one + must be surrounded by them; I do not mean to the point of merely + suggesting the vague "suppose?" _that_, I should think, must visit + every mind; but rather like a consciousness, a conviction, + amounting almost to certainty, only short of seeing and hearing. + How well I remember in that cedar hall at Oatlands, the sort of + invisible presence I used to feel pervading the place. It was a + large circle of huge cedar trees in a remote part of the grounds; + the paths that led to it were wild and tangled; the fairest flower, + the foxglove, grew in tall clumps among the foliage of the thickets + and shrubberies that divided the lawn into undulating glades of + turf all round it; a sheet of water in which there was a rapid + current--I am not sure that it was not the river--ran close by, and + the whole place used to affect my imagination in the weirdest way, + as the habitation of invisible presences of some strange + supernatural order. As the evening came on, I used frequently to go + there by myself, leaving our gentlemen at table, and my mother and + Lady Francis in the drawing-room. How I flew along by the syringa + bushes, brushing their white fragrant blossoms down in showers as I + ran, till I came to that dark cedar hall, with its circle of giant + trees, whose wide-sweeping branches spread, at it were, a halo of + darkness all round it! Through the space at the top, like the open + dome of some great circular temple, such as the Pantheon of Rome, + the violet-colored sky and its starry worlds looked down. Sometimes + the pure radiant moon and one fair attendant star would seem to + pause above me in the dark framework of the great tree-tops. That + place seemed peopled with spirits to me; and while I was there I + had the intensest delight in the sort of all but conscious + certainty that it was so. Curiously enough, I never remember + feeling the slightest nervousness while I was there, but rather an + immense excitement in the idea of such invisible companionship; but + as soon as I had emerged from the magic circle of the huge black + cedar trees, all my fair visions vanished, and, as though under a + spell, I felt perfectly possessed with terror, and rushed home + again like the wind, fancying I heard following footsteps all the + way I went. The moon seemed to swing to and fro in the sky, and + every twisted tree and fantastic shadow that lay in my path made me + start aside like a shying horse. I could have fancied they made + grimaces and gestures at me, like the rocks and roots in Retsch's + etchings of the Brocken; and I used to reach the house with cheeks + flaming with nervous excitement, and my heart thumping a great deal + more with fear than with my wild run home; and then I walked with + the utmost external composure of demure propriety into the + drawing-room, as who should say, "Thy servant went no whither," to + any inquiry that might be made as to my absence.... + + It seems to me that you would be a poet but for your analyzing, + dissecting, inquiring, and doubting mental tendency. Your truth is + not a matter of intuition, but of demonstration; and when you get + beyond demonstrability, then nothing remains to you but doubt.... + God bless you, dear! + + I am yours ever affectionately, + F. A. K. + + + _Monday, December 5th._-- ... My father is worse again to-day. + Ohimé! His state is most precarious, and this relapse very + alarming. It is dreadful to see him drag himself about, and hear + his feeble voice. Oh, my dear, dear Father! Heaven preserve you to + us! + + _Tuesday, 6th._--My father is much worse. How terrible this is!... + Dall met me on the stairs this morning, and gave me a miserable + account of him; he had just been bled, and that had somewhat + relieved him. I went and sat with him while my mother drove out in + the carriage. I stayed a long while with him, and he seemed a + little better.... My father's two doctors have returned again, and + paid him two visits daily. I read Daru all the evening. + + _Wednesday, 7th._-- ... So I am to play Belvidera on Monday, and + Bianca on Wednesday. That will be hard work; Bianca is terrible. + + _Thursday, 8th._-- ... My dear father is beginning to gain strength + once more, thank Heaven! I received a letter from Lady Francis + about the play (a translation of the French piece of "Henri Trois," + by Lord Francis, the production of which at Covent Garden is being + postponed in consequence of my father's illness). Poor people! I am + sorry for their disappointment.... I devised and tried on a new + dress for Bianca; it will be very splendid, but I am afraid I shall + look like a metal woman, a golden image. [The dress in question was + entirely made of gold tissue; and one evening a man in the pit + exclaimed to a friend of mine sitting by him, "Oh! doesn't she look + like a splendid gold pheasant?" the possibility of which comparison + had not occurred to me, not being a sportsman.] + + _Friday, 9th._-- ... I went with my mother to the theater to hear + "Fra Diavolo," with which, and Miss Sheriff's singing in it, we + were delighted. + + _Saturday, 10th._-- ... We had a talk about the fashion of southern + countries of serenading, which I am very glad is not an English + fashion. Music, as long as I am awake, is a pure and perfect + delight to me, but to be wakened out of my sleep by music is to + wake in a spasm of nervous terror, shaking from head to foot, and + sick at my stomach, with indescribable fear and dismay; certainly + no less agreeable effect could possibly be contemplated by the + gallantry of a serenading admirer, so I am glad our admirers do not + serenade us English girls. This picturesque practice prevails all + through the United States, where the dry brilliancy of the climate + and skies is favorable to the paying and receiving this melodious + homage, and where musical bands, sometimes numbering fifty, are + marshaled by personal or political admirers, under the balconies of + reigning beauties or would-be-reigning public men. My total + ignorance of this prevailing practice in the United States led to a + very prosaic demonstration of gratitude on my part toward my first + serenaders; for I opened my window and rewarded them with a dollar, + which one of the recipients informed me he should always keep, to + my no small confusion, not knowing the nature of my gratuitous + indulgence, and that, like my Lady Greensleeves in the old English + ballad, "My music still to play and sing" would be, while I + remained in America, a disinterested demonstration of the devotion + of my friends.... My poor mother is in the deepest distress about + my father. Inflammation of the lungs is dreaded, and he is spitting + blood. I felt as if I were turning to stone as I heard it. I came + up to my own room and cried most bitterly for a long time. In the + afternoon I was allowed to go in and see my father; but I was so + overcome that, as I stooped to kiss his hand, I was almost + suffocated with suppressed sobs. I did control myself, however, + sufficiently to be able to sit by him for a while with tolerable + composure. Cecilia and Mrs. Wilkinson called, and were very kind + and affectionate to me. They brought news that Harry Siddons had + arrived in India and been sent off to Delhi. My brother Henry, poor + child, came and lay on the sofa in my room, and we cried together + almost through the whole afternoon, in spite of our efforts to + comfort each other. My heart dies away when I think of my dear + father.... I got a very kind and affectionate letter from Lady + Francis; she wants us very much to go again to Oatlands. After all, + perhaps it would not be so sad there as I think, though it must + appear changed enough in some respects, if not in all. Everything + is winter now, within and without me; and when I was last there it + was summer, in my heart and over all the earth. My cedar palace is + there still, and to that I should bring more change than I should + find. Poor Undine! how often I think of that true story. When I + went to the theater my heart really sickened at my work; my eyes + smarted, and my voice was broken, with my whole day's crying. The + house seemed good; I played ill, and felt very ill. Lord M---- was + in the stage-box, which annoyed me. I hate to have my society + acquaintance close to me while I am acting. The play was "Venice + Preserved." After I came home I saw my father, who is a little + better; but now Henry is quite unwell, and I am in a high fever--I + suppose with all this wretchedness and exertion. + + _Thursday, 13th._--My father has passed a quieter night, thank God. + I went to Fozzard's riding-school with John, and tried a hot little + hunter that they want to persuade Lady Chesterfield to ride--a very + pretty creature, but quite too eager for the school. While I was + riding Lady Grey came in, very much frightened, upon her horse, + which was rather fresh. She took Gazelle, which I was riding, and I + rode her horse tame for her. It is very odd that, riding as well as + she does, she should be so miserably nervous on horseback.... I + drove to Mrs. Mayo's, who impressed and affected me very much. + Those magnificent eyes of hers are becoming dim; she is growing + blind, with eyes like dark suns. I could not help expressing the + deep concern I felt for such a calamity. She replied that doubtless + it was a trial, but that she saw many others afflicted with + dispensations so much heavier than her own, that she was content. + To grow blind contentedly is to be very brave and good, and I + admired and loved her even more than I did before. When I came + home, I went and sat with my father. He has decided that we shall + not go to Oatlands, and I am hardly sorry for it. + + _Friday, 14th._--Went over my part for to-night.... Victoire came + with me to the theater instead of Dall, whose whole time is taken + up attending on my father. The house was bad, and I thought I acted + very ill, though Victoire and John, who was in the front, said I + did not. Henry Greville was in the boxes, and to my surprise went + from them to the pit, though I ought not to have been surprised, + for, for such a fine gentleman, he is a very sensible man. Colonel + and Lady C. Cavendish were in the orchestra, and how I did wish + them further. I do so wonder, in the middle of my stage despair, + what business my drawing-room acquaintances have sitting staring at + it. My dress was beautiful. As for the audience, I do not know what + ailed them, but they seemed to have agreed together only to applaud + at the end of the scenes, so that I got no resting interruptions, + and was half dead with fatigue at the end of the play. I read + Daru's "Venice" between the scenes, and saw my father for a few + minutes after I came home. + + _Thursday, 15th._--Had a delightful long letter from H----, who is + a poet without the jingle.... Another physician is to be called in + for my father. Oh, my dear father! Mr. Bartley was with him about + this horrible theater business.... My mother went in the evening + with John to hear Miss Sheriff in Polly. It is her first night in + "The Beggar's Opera," and my father wished to know how it went. I + stayed at home with poor Henry, and after tea sat with my father + till bedtime. + + _Friday, 16th._--Went to the theater at eleven, and rehearsed + Isabella in the saloon, the stage being occupied with a rehearsal + of the pantomime. When my rehearsal was over, the carriage not + being come, I went down to see what they were doing. There was poor + Farleigh, nose and all (a worthy, amiable man, and excellent comic + character, with a huge excrescence of a nose), _qui se déménait_ + like one frantic; huge Mr. Stansbury, with a fiddle in his hand, + dancing, singing, prompting, and swearing; the whole _corps de + ballet_ attitudinizing in muddy shoes and poke-bonnets, and the + columbine, in dirty stockings and a mob-cap, ogling the harlequin + in a striped shirt and dusty trousers. What a wrong side to the + show the audience will see! + + My father is better, thank God! After dinner sat with poor Henry + till time to go to the theater. Played Isabella. House bad. I + played well; I always do to an empty house (this was my invariable + experience both in my acting and reading performances, and I came + to the conclusion that as my spirits were not affected by a small + audience, they, on the contrary, were exhilarated by the effect + upon my lungs and voice of a comparatively cool and free + atmosphere). I read Daru between my scenes; I find it immensely + interesting.... I read Niccolini's "Giovanni di Procida," but did + not like it very much; I thought it dull and heavy, and not up to + the mark of such a very fine subject. + + _Saturday, 17th._-- ... My father, thank God, appears much + better.... I have christened the pretty mare I have bought "Donna + Sol," in honor of my part in "Hernani." In the evening I read Daru, + and wrote a few lines of "The Star of Seville;" but I hate it, and + the whole thing is as dead as ditch-water. + + _Sunday, 18th._--To church.... After I came home I went and sat + with my father. Poor fellow! he is really better; I thank God + inexpressibly! + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, December 18. + DEAR H----, + + I have had time to write neither long nor short letters for the + last week; Mr. Young's engagement being at an end, I have been + called back to my work, and have had to rehearse, and to act, and + to be much too busy to write to you until to-day, when I have + caught up all my arrears. + + My father, thank God, is once more recovering, but we have twice + been alarmed at such sudden relapses that we hardly dare venture to + hope he is really convalescent. Inflammation on the lungs has, it + seems, been going on for a considerable time, and though they think + now that it has entirely subsided, yet, as the least exertion or + exposure may bring it on again, we are watching him like the apples + of our eyes. He has not yet left his bed, to which he has now been + confined more than a month.... + + The exertion I have been obliged to make when leaving him to go and + act, was so full of misery and dread lest I should find him worse, + perhaps dead, on my return, that no words can describe what I have + suffered at that dreadful theater. Thank God, however, he is now + certainly better, out of present danger, and I trust and pray will + soon be beyond any danger of a relapse. Anything like Dall's + incessant and unwearied care and tenderness you cannot imagine. + Night and day she has watched and waited on him, and I think she + must have sunk under all the fatigue she has undergone but for the + untiring goodness and kindness of heart that has supported her + under it all. She is invaluable to us all, and every day adds to + her claims upon our love and gratitude.... + + In the passage you quote from Godwin, he seems to think a friend of + more use in reproving what is evil in us than I believe is really + the case. Do you think our faults and follies can ever be more + effectually sifted, analyzed, and condemned by another than by our + own conscience? I do not think if one could put one's heart into + one's friends' hand that they could detect one defect or evil + quality that had not been marked and acknowledged in the depths of + one's own consciousness. Do you suppose people shrink more from the + censure of others than from self-condemnation? I find it difficult + to think so.... You appear to me always to wish to submit your + faith to a process which invariably breaks your apparatus and + leaves you very much dissatisfied, with your faith still a simple + element in you, in spite of your endeavors to analyze or decompose + it. Are not, after all, our convictions our only steadfastly + grounded faith? I do not mean conviction wrought out in the loom of + logical argument, where one's understanding must have shuttled + backward and forward through every thread a thousand times before + the woof is completed, but the spiritual convictions, the + intuitions of our souls, that lie upon their surface like direct + reflections from heaven, distinct and beautiful enough for reverent + contemplation, but a curious search into whose nature would, at any + rate temporarily, blur and dissipate and destroy.... + + The sense of power which man cannot control is one thing that makes + the sea such a delightful object of contemplation; the huge white + main, and deep, tremendous voice of the vast creature over which + man's daring and his knowledge give him but such imperfect mastery, + suggest images of strength which are full of sublime fascination as + one stands on the shore, looking at the vasty deep, and remembers + how precarious and uncertain is man's dominion over it, and how God + alone rules and governs it. It is impossible not to rejoice in the + great sense of its huge power and freedom, even though their + manifestations toward men are so often terrible and destructive.... + Oh yes, indeed, I, like Wallenstein, have faith in the "strong + hours," and hold their influence the more efficacious that we + seldom think of resisting it; or, if we do, are seldom successful + in the attempt.... + + The theater is going on very ill, but negotiations are pending + between the partners, which it is hoped may eventually terminate in + some arrangement with the creditors about the property. I have been + acting Bianca again; I certainly am not jealous, and cannot imagine + being so, any more of my husband than of my friend. I doubt if I + have the power of loving which produces jealousy, in spite of which + that part tries me dreadfully. I can conceive no torment comparable + to that passion, which, however, I think is foreign to my own + nature. I am reading Daru's "History of Venice," and am rather + disappointed in the entertainment I expected to derive from it. It + is a pretty long undertaking, too.... Remember me to all your + people; and since you will have it that I am twin-sister to a + fountain, remember me to my cousin, the dear little spring in the + dell, which I love the more that it sometimes reflects your face + and figure, as well as the fairies who dance round it by night. Do + you hear that poor Lord Grey is said to be haunted by a vision of + Lord Castlereagh's head? It sounds like a temptation of the devil + to scare him into cutting his throat. Lord Brougham and the Duke of + Wellington seem to me the only two men likely to keep their heads + in these times of infinite political perturbation; but the one is + made of steel, and the other of india-rubber. + + Yours, dearest, always, + F. A. K. + + + _Monday, 19th._--Went to Fozzard's, and had a pleasant, gossiping + ride with Lady Grey and Miss Cavendish. While I was still riding, + the Duchess of Kent and our little queen that is to be came down + into the school; I was presented to them at their desire, and + thought Princess Victoria a very unaffected, bright-looking girl. + Fozzard made me gallop round; I think he is rather proud of showing + me off.... My father is not so well again to-day. How dreadful + these alternations are! I read Daru all the afternoon, and then + sang in my own room to amuse Henry, till dinner-time. Colonel + Bailey sent me the mare's saddle and bridle, and after dinner the + boys put them on a chair for me, and gave me an absurd make-believe + ride. + + _Wednesday, 21st_--Dear Mr. Harness called, and I received him. He + tells me that at the theater they want to do his tragedy ("The Wife + of Antwerp," was, I think, the name of the piece) without my + father; but this seems to me really sheer madness. The play is a + pretty, interesting, well-written piece, and, well propped and + sustained, may perhaps succeed for a few nights, but as to throwing + the whole weight, or rather weakness of it, upon my shoulders, or + any one pair of shoulders, it is folly to think of it. It is not a + powerful sort of monologue like "Fazio," where the interest centres + in one person and one passion, and therefore if that character is + well sustained the rest can shift for itself. It is no such matter; + it is a play of incident and not of character, and must be played + by people and not one person. What terrible bad management! But, + poor people! what can they do, with my father lying disabled there? + If it was not for their complete disregard for their own interest, + I should be inclined to quarrel with them for the way in which they + are ruining mine; and I sincerely hope, for the sake of everybody + concerned, that Mr. Harness will resist this senseless proposition. + + I went with John in the afternoon to Angerstein's Gallery (M. + Angerstein's fine collection of pictures was not then incorporated + in the National Gallery, of which it subsequently became so + important a portion); there are some new pictures there. Unluckily, + we had only an hour to stay, but I brought away a great deal with + me for so short a time. Among the additions was a very singular old + painting, "The Holy Family," by one of the earliest masters, whose + name I forget, not being familiar with it. I looked long at the + glorious Titian, the "Bacchus and Ariadne," which always reminds me + of-- + + "Whence come ye, jolly Satyrs, whence come ye? + Like to a moving vintage down they came." + + One of the most famous pictures here is "Our Saviour disputing with + the Doctors," by Leonardo da Vinci. I hardly ever receive pleasure + from his pictures; there is a mannerism in all that I have seen + that is positively disagreeable to me. How the later artists lost + the simple secret of earnest vigor of their predecessors, while + gaining in everything that was not that! Grace, finish, refinement, + accuracy of drawing, richness of coloring, all that merely tended + towards perfection and execution, while the simplicity and + single-heartedness of conception died away more and more. All art + seems by degrees to outgrow its strength, and certainly in painting + the archaic cradle touches one's imagination as neither the + graceful youth nor mature manhood do. "Le mieux c'est l'ennemi du + bien" in nothing more than the progress of art after a certain + period of its development, and when its mere mechanism is best + understood, and applied in the most masterly manner. The spirit has + tarried behind, and we have to return to seek it among the earlier + days, when the genius of man was like a giant, rude, naked, and + savage, but vigorous and free--unadorned indeed, but also + untrammeled. Only a certain proportion of excellence is allowed to + our race, but that is granted; and let us stretch it, expand it, + roll and beat it out as we will, it is still but the same square + inch made thin to cover a greater surface. For one good we still + must yield another; we have no gain that is not loss, no + acquisition but surrender, "exchange" which may perhaps be "no + robbery," though quantity does seem a poor substitute for quality + in matters of beauty. I wish I had lived in the times when the ore + lay in the ingot (and had been one of the few who owned a nugget), + instead of in these times of universal gold-leaf, glitter without + weight, and shining shallowness of mere surface. Vigor is better + than refinement, and to create better than to improve, and to + conceive better than to combine. I wonder if the world, or rather + the human mind, will ever really grow decrepit, and the fountain of + beauty in men's souls run dry to the dregs; or will the + manifestations only change, and the eternal spirit reveal itself in + other ways?... + + On our way home I had a long and interesting talk with John about + the different forms of religious faith into which the gradual + development of the human mind has successively expanded; each, of + course, being the result of that very development, acting on the + original necessity to believe in and worship and obey something + higher and better than itself, implanted in our nature. It seems + strange that he has a leaning to Roman Catholicism, which I have + not. Our Protestant profession appears to me the purest + creed--form--that Christianity has yet arrived at; but, I suppose, + a less spiritual one, or perhaps I should say external + accompaniments, affecting more palpably the senses and imagination, + are wholesome and necessary to the cultivation and preservation of + the religious sentiment in some minds. Catholicism was the faith of + the chivalrous times, of the poetical times, of times when the + creative faculty of man poured forth in since unknown abundance + masterpieces of every kind of beauty, as manifestations of the + pious and devout enthusiasm. Protestantism is undoubtedly the faith + of these times; a denying faith, a rejecting creed, a questioning + belief, its evil seems essentially to coincide with the worst + tendency of the present age, but its good seems to me positive and + unconditional, independent of time or circumstance; the best, in + that kind, that the believing necessity in our nature has yet + attained. Rightly understood and lived up to, the only service of + God which is intellectual freedom, as all His service, lived up to, + under what creed soever, is moral freedom. And it is in some sort + in spite of myself that I say this, for my fancy delights in all + the devout and poetical legendary conceptions which the stern hand + of reason has stripped from our altars. + + I found a letter at home from Emily Fitzhugh; she writes me word + she has been revising my aunt Siddons's letters; thence an endless + discussion as to the nature of genius, what it is. I suppose really + nothing but the creative power, and so it remains a question if the + greatest actor can properly be said to possess it. Again, how far + does the masterly filling out of an inferior conception by a + superior execution of it, such as really great actors frequently + present, fall short of creative power, properly so called? Is it a + thing positive, of individual inherent quality, or comparative, and + composed of mere respective quantity? Can its manifestation be + partial, and restricted to one faculty, or must it be a pervading + influence, permeating the whole mind? Certainly Mrs. Siddons was + what we call a great dramatic genius, and off the stage gave not + the slightest indication of unusual intellectual capacity of any + sort. Kean, the only actor whose performances have ever realized to + me my idea of the effect tragic acting ought to produce, acted part + of his parts rather than ever a whole character, and a work of + genius should at least show unity of conception. My father, whose + fulfilling of a particular range of characters is as nearly as + possible perfect, wants depth and power, and power seems to me the + core, the very marrow, so to speak, of genius; and if it is not + genius that gave incomparable majesty and terror to my aunt's Lady + Macbeth, and to Kean's Othello incomparable pathos and passion, and + to my father's Benedict incomparable spirit and grace, what is it? + Mere talent carried beyond a certain point? If so, where does the + one begin and the other end? Or is genius a precious, + inconvertible, intellectual metal, of which some people have a + grain and a half, and some only half a grain?... There is dreadful + news from Spain, and I fear it is too true. Torrijos has made + another attempt. Oh, how thankful we must be that John is returned + to us! + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, Monday, December 23. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I owe you many excuses for not having sooner acknowledged your + letter, but you may have seen by the papers that we have been + bringing out a new piece, and that is always, while it goes on, an + engrossing of time and attention paramount to all other claims. It + is a play of Lord Francis Leveson's, and I know you will be glad to + hear that it has been successful and is likely to prove serviceable + to the theater. Another reason, too, for my silence is, that I have + been working very hard at "The Star of Seville," which, I am + thankful to say, has at length reached its completion. I have sent + it to the theater upon approbation, in the usual routine of + business; and am waiting very patiently the decision of the + management on its fitness or unfitness for their purposes. + + I know not whether your party at Teddesley are good thermometers, + by which to judge of the state of political feeling here in London, + but at this moment the rumor is rife that the Ministry dare not + make the new batch of Peers, cannot carry the Bill, and must + resign. To whom? is the next question, and it seems a difficult one + to answer. One hardly sees, looking round the political ranks, who + are to be the men to come forward and take up this tangled skein + effectually. I write with rather a sympathetic leaning toward the + Tory side of this Reform question, and do not know whether in so + doing I am affronting you or not. In any case, I imagine, there can + be but one opinion as to the difficulty, and even danger, of the + present position of public affairs and public temper with regard to + them. + + Do you not soon think of returning to Town? or are you so well + pleased with your present abode as to prolong your visit? London is + particularly full, I think, for the time of year, and people are + meeting in smaller numbers and a more sociable and agreeable way + than they do later in the season. I was at two parties last week, + each time, I am ashamed to say, after acting. I can't say that I + find society pleasant; it reminds me a good deal of a "Conversation + Cards," the insipid flippancy, of whose questions and answers seems + to me to survive in these meetings, miscalled occasionally + _conversaziones_. Dancing appears to me rational, and indeed highly + intellectual, in comparison with such talk; and that I am as fond + of as ever, but that has not begun yet, and I find these _soirées + causantes_ drearily unedifying. + + Talking of stupid parties, your beautiful little picture of me and + my various costumes helped away two hours of such intolerably dull + people here the other night; I assure you we all voted you devout + thanks on the occasion.... We are all tolerably well; my father is + gradually recovering his strength, and though after such an attack + as his has been the progress must of necessity be slow, we are + inclined to hope, from that very circumstance, that it will be the + more sure.... If you do not return soon, perhaps I shall hear from + you again; pray recollect that it will give me great pleasure to do + so, and that I am very sincerely yours, + + F. A. K. + + I dressed my Juliet the last time I acted it, exactly after your + little sketch of her.... + + + _Thursday._--Worked at "The Star of Seville." In the evening the + play was "Isabella;" the house very bad. I played very well. The + Rajah Ramahun Roy was in the Duke of Devonshire's box, and went + into fits of crying, poor man! + + _Friday, 23d._--It is all too true; John has had a letter from + Spain; they have all been taken and shot. I felt frozen when I + heard the terrible news. Poor Torrijos! And yet I suppose it is + better so: he would only have lived to bitter disappointment, and + the despairing conviction that the spirit he appealed to did not + animate one human being in his deplorable and degenerate land. A + young Englishman, of the name of Boyd, John's sometime friend and + companion, was taken and shot with the rest: it choked me to think + of his parents, his brothers and sisters. Surely God has been most + merciful to us in sparing us such an anguish, and bringing our + wanderer home before this day of doom. How I thought of Richard + Trench and his people! John did not seem to me to be violently + affected, though his first exclamation was one of sharp and bitter + pain: I suppose he must, long ere this, have felt that there could + be no other end to this utterly hopeless attempt.... In the + afternoon I called on Mrs. Norton, who is always to me + astonishingly beautiful. The baby was asleep, and so I could not + see it, but Spencer has grown into a very fine child. + + _Monday, 26th._--Went to see how the pantomime did. I did not think + it very amusing, but there was an enchanting little girl (Miss + Poole) who did Tom Thumb, and whose attitudes in her armor were + most of them copied from the antique, and really beautiful. Poor + dear, bright little thing! + + My father was in bed when we returned; I went and saw him for a + minute, to tell him how the pantomime had succeeded; it ended with + some wonderful tight-rope dancing by an exceedingly steady, + graceful man; but it turned me perfectly sick, and I hate all those + sort of things. + + _Thursday, 29th._--After dinner worked at "The Star of Seville." I + really wonder I have the patience to go on with it, it is such + heavy trash. After tea my father begged me to sing to him. I am + always horribly frightened at singing before my mother; I cannot + bear to distress her accurate ear with my unsteady intonation, and + the more I think of it, the colder my hands grow and the hotter my + face, the huskier my voice and the flatter my notes; I bungle over + accompaniments that I have at my fingers' ends, and forget words I + know as well as my alphabet; in short, I feel like a wretch, and I + sing like a wretch, and I make wretched all my hearers. My mother's + own nervous terror when she had to sing on the stage, as a young + woman, was excessive, as she has often told me; and her mother + repeatedly but vainly endeavored to bribe her with the promise of a + guinea if she would sing as well in public any of the songs that + she sang perfectly well at home. I sang for some time, and by + degrees got more courage, till at last I managed to sing tolerably + in tune. My mother says I have more voice than A----. I am sorry to + hear her voice has grown thin--that sweet, melodious voice I did so + love to listen to; but perhaps it will recover its tone. + + _Wednesday, 28th._--My dear, dear father came down to breakfast, + looking horribly thin and pale, poor fellow! but, thank God, he was + able to come once more among us. I am to act Euphrasia on Monday; + how I do hate it! Monday week my father talks of resuming his work + again with Mercutio. Dear me! how happy I shall be! once more + speaking the love poetry of Juliet after all these "meaner beauties + of the night" that I have been executing ever since he has been + ill. Juliet did very right to die; she would have become Bianca + when once she was Mrs. Romeo Montague.... I wrote to Lady Francis + about "Katharine of Cleves," (Lord Francis's translation of "Henri + Trois"), who is once more beginning to lift up her head. My father + thinks it may be done on Wednesday week.... It is now determined + that Henry should go into the army, and my mother wants me to + besiege Sir John through Lady Macdonald (the general's general) + about a commission for him. In the evening, not having to be + anybody tragical or heroical, I indulged in my own character, and + had a regular game of romps with the boys; my pensive public would + not have believed its eyes if it could have seen me with my hair + all disheveled, not because of my woes, but because of riotous fun, + jumping over chairs and sofas, and dodging behind curtains and + under tables to escape from my pursuers. "Is that Miss Kemble?" as + poor Mr. Bacon involuntarily exclaimed the first time he saw me. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, December 29, 1831. + MY DEAREST H----, + + You shall not entreat in vain, neither shall you have a short + answer because you have an immediate one.... I should not have + answered you so instantaneously, but that my last account of my + dear father was so bad that I cannot delay telling you how much + better he is, and how grateful we all are for his restoration to + health. He is released from his bed, of which he must be heartily + sick, and comes down to breakfast at the usual time: of course he + is still weak and low, and wretchedly thin, but we trust a little + time will bring back good spirits and good looks, though after such + a terrible attack I fear it will be long before his constitution + recovers its former strength, if indeed it ever does. He talks of + resuming his labors at the theater next Monday week. Oh! my dear + H----, what a dreadful season of anxiety this has been! but, thank + God, it is past. + + I had intended that this letter should go to you to-day, but you + will forgive the delay of a day in my finishing it when I tell you + that I have some hope of its producing a commission for Henry. Sir + John Macdonald, at whose house you dined in the summer with my + mother, is now adjutant-general, and I know not what besides; and + after my mother and myself had expended all our eloquence in + winding up my father's mind to resolve upon the army as Henry's + profession, she thought the next best thing I could do would be to + attack Lady Macdonald and secure the general's interest. They + happened to call this afternoon, and your letter, my dear H----, + has been left unfinished till past post-time, while I was + soliciting this favor, which I have every hope we shall obtain. + Lady Macdonald is extremely kind and good-natured, and I am sure + will exert herself to serve us, and if this can be accomplished I + shall be haunted by one anxiety the less. + + Henry is too young and too handsome to be doing nothing but + lounging about the streets of London, and even if he should be + ordered to the Indies, it is something to feel that he is no longer + aimless and objectless in life--a mere squanderer of time, without + interest, stake, or duty, in this existence. I am sure this news + will pacify you, and atone for the day's delay in this letter + reaching you. + +[My youngest brother Henry had a passionate desire to be a sailor, and +never exhibited the slightest inclination for any other career. Admiral +Lake, who was a very kind friend of my father's and mother's, knowing +this to be the lad's bent, offered, on one occasion, to take charge of +him, and have him trained for his profession under his own supervision. +Such, however, was my mother's horror of the sea, and dread of losing +her darling, if she surrendered him to be carried from her to Nova +Scotia, whither I think Admiral Lake was bound when he offered to take +my brother with him, that she induced my father to decline this most +friendly and advantageous offer. Henry never after that exhibited the +slightest preference for any other profession, and always said, "They +may put me at a plow-tail if they like." He went through Westminster +School, after a previous training at Bury St. Edmunds, not otherwise +than creditably; but a very modest estimate of his own capacity made him +beg not to be sent to Cambridge, where he said he was sure he should +only waste money, and do himself and us no credit. (The bitter +disappointment of my brother John's failure there had made a deep +impression upon him.) Finally it was decided that he should go into the +army, and the friendly interest of Sir John Macdonald and the liberal +price Mr. Murray gave me for my play of "Francis I." enabled me to get +him a commission; it was the time when they were still purchasable. My +poor mother, unable to refuse her consent to this second favorable +opportunity of starting him in life, acquiesced in his military, though +she had thwarted his naval, career, and was well content to see her +boy-ensign sent over with his troops to Ireland. But from Ireland his +regiment was ordered to the West Indies, and after his departure thither +she never again saw him in her life.] + + I think it would be a wise thing if I were to go to America and + work till I have made 10,000_l._, then return to England and go the + round of the provinces, and act for a few nights' leave-taking in + London. Prudence would then, perhaps, find less difficulty in + adjusting my plans for the future. That is what I think would be + well for me to do, supposing all things remain as they are and God + preserves my health and strength. It will not do to verify all + Poitier's lugubrious congratulation to his children in the + Vaudeville on their marriage: + + "Ji! Ji! mariez-vous, + Mettez-vous dans la misère! + Ji! Ji! mariez-vous, + Mettez-vous la corde au cou." + + ... Jealousy, surely, is a disposition to suspect and take umbrage + where there is no cause for suspicion or offense, which, to say the + least of it, is very unreasonable; but that a woman should break + her heart because her husband does love another woman better than + her, seems to me natural enough, and with regard to Bianca, her + provocations certainly warranted a very rational amount of misery; + and though, had she not been a woman of violent passions and a + jealous temperament, she probably would not have taken the means + she did of resenting Fazio's treatment of her, it appears to me + that nothing but divine assistance and the strongest religious + principle could preserve one under such circumstances from despair, + madness, suicide, perhaps; hardly, however, the murder of one's + husband. But assassinating other people seems a much more common + mode of relieving their feelings among Italians than destroying + themselves, which is rather a northern way of meeting, I should say + of avoiding, difficulties. + + I have had a holiday this week, and every now and then have written + a word or two of "La Estrella;" it will never be done, and when it + is it will be the horridest trash that ever was done; but I will + let you have the pleasure of reading it, I promise you. On Monday I + play that favorite detestation of mine, Euphrasia; the Monday after + that my father hopes to be able for Mercutio, and I return to + Juliet. By the by, you say Bianca is my best part, and I think my + Juliet is better; I am not sure that there is not some kindred in + the characters. We are going to bring out a play of Lord Francis', + translated from the French, a sort of melodrama in blank verse, in + which I have to act a part that I cannot do the least in the world, + but of course that doesn't signify. + +["Katharine of Cleves," translated from the French play of "Henri Trois +et sa Cour," and made the subject of one of Mr. Barham's inimitably +comical poems in the "Ingoldsby Legends." Mdlle. Mars acted the part of +the heroine in Paris, and it was one of several semi-tragical +characters, in which, at the end of her great theatrical career, she +reaped fresh laurels in an entirely new field, and showed the world that +she might have been one of the best serious, not to say tragic, +actresses of the French stage, as well as its one unrivaled female +comedian.] + + We have spent a wretched Christmas, as you may suppose; a house + with its head sick all but to death, and all its members smitten + with the direst anxiety, is not the place for a merry one. God + bless you, my dear, and send you years of peace of mind and health + of body! this is, I suppose, what we mean when we wish for + happiness here, either for ourselves or others. Give my love and + kindest good wishes to your people. + + Have you seen in the papers that poor Torrijos and his little band, + consisting of sixty men, several of whom John knew well, have been + lured into the interior of Spain, and there taken prisoners and + shot? This news has shocked us all dreadfully, especially poor + John. You may imagine how grateful we are that he is now among us, + instead of having fallen a victim to his chimerical enthusiasm. I + hardly know how to deplore the event for Torrijos himself: death + has spared him the bitter disappointment of at last being convinced + that the people he would have made free are willing slaves, and + that the time when Spain is to lift herself up from the dust has + not yet come. + + I went the other day with John to the Angerstein Gallery.... The + delight I find in a fine painting is one of the greatest and most + enduring pleasures I have; my mind retains the impression so long + and so very vividly.... Good-by, my dearest H----. + + Ever affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + + + _Saturday, 31st._--After breakfast went to the theater to rehearse + "The Grecian Daughter," and Mr. Ward, for whom the rehearsal was + principally given, never came till it was over. Pleasant + creature!... + + The day seemed beautifully fine, and my father and mother took, a + drive, while Henry and I rode, that my father might see the horse I + had bought for him; but it was bitterly cold, and I could not make + my mare trot, so she cantered and I froze. Mr. Power was there, on + that lovely horse of his. I think the Park will become bad company, + it is so full of the player folk. Frederick Byng called, and I like + him, so I went and sat with him and my father and mother in the + library till time to dress for dinner. After dinner wrote "The Star + of Seville." I have got into conceit with it again, and so poor, + dear, unfortunate Dall coming in while I was working at it, I + seized hold of her, like the Ancient Mariner of the miserable + "Wedding Guest," and compelled her, in spite of her outcries, to + sit down, and then, though she very wisely went fast asleep, I read + it to her till tea-time. + + My mother wished to sit up and see the New Year in, and so we + played quadrille till they sat down to supper, which had been + ordered for the vigil, and I went fast asleep. At twelve o'clock + kisses and good wishes went round, and we were all very merry, in + spite of which I once or twice felt a sudden rush of hot tears into + my eyes. All the hours of last year are gone, standing at the bar + of Heaven, our witnesses or accusers: the evil done, the good left + undone, the opportunities vouchsafed and neglected, the warnings + given and unheeded, the talents lent and unworthily or not + employed, they are gone from us for ever! forever! and we make + merry over the flight of Time! O Time! our dearest friend! how is + it that we part so carelessly from you, who never can return to + us?... A New Year.... + + + A NEW YEAR, 1832. + + _January 1st, Sunday._--When I came down my father wished me a + happy New Year, and I am sure we were both thinking of the same + thing, and neither of us felt happy. + + _Thursday 5th._-- ... Wrote all the afternoon. Mr. Byng dined with + us and stayed till one o'clock, having reduced my mother to + silence, and my father to sleep, John to snuff, and Henry and I to + playing (_sotto voce_) "What's my thought like?" to keep ourselves + from tumbling off the perch. + + _Monday, 9th._--Rehearsed "Romeo and Juliet" with all my heart. Oh, + light, life, truth, and lovely poetry! I sat on the cold stage, + that I might hear them even mumble over their parts as they do. My + father seemed to me very weak, and not by any means fit for his + work to-night. After dinner went over my part again, and went to + the theater at half past five. My new dress was very handsome, + though rather burly, in spite of which Dall said it made me look + taller, so its rather burliness didn't matter. John Mason played + Romeo for the first time; he was beautifully dressed, and looked + very well; he acted tolerably well, too. He has a good deal of + energy and spirit, but wants feeling and refinement; his voice, + unfortunately, is very unpleasant, wiry, harsh, and monotonous; of + the last defect he may cure by practice. I came to the side scene + just as my father was going on, to hear his reception; it was very + great, a perfect thunder of applause; it made the tears start into + my eyes. Poor father! They received me with infinite demonstrations + of kindness too. I thought I acted very well; I am sure I played + the balcony scene well. When the blood keeps rushing up into one's + cheeks and neck while one is speaking, I wonder if that ought to be + called acting. To be sure, Hamlet's player's face turned pale for + Hecuba; so Shakespeare thought acting might make one change color. + + I cannot get over the _sensibleness_ of Henry Greville, who was in + the pit again to-night. Upon my word! he deserves to see good + acting. After the play dear William and Mary Harness came home to + supper with us, and we all got into a long discussion about + Shakespeare's character, John maintaining that his views of life + were gloomy and that he must himself have been an unhappy man. I + don't believe a bit of it; no one, I suppose, ever thinks this + world, and the life we live in it, absolutely pleasant or good, but + the poet's ken, which is as an angel's compared with that of other + men, must see more good and beauty, as well as more evil and + ugliness, than his short-sighted fellows, and the better elements + predominating over the worse (as they do, else the world would fall + asunder). The man who takes so wide a view as Shakespeare, whatever + his judgment of parts, must, upon the whole, pronounce the whole + good rather than bad, and rejoice accordingly. I was too tired and + sleepy to talk, or even to listen, much. + + _Wednesday, 11th._-- ... Lady Charlotte Greville and General Alaba + called. I am always grateful to him for the beautiful copy of + Schlegel's "Dramatic Lectures" which he gave me. Lady Charlotte was + all curiosity and anxiety about Lord Francis' play. I am afraid the + newspapers may not be much inclined to be good-natured about it. I + hope he does not care for what may be said of it. In the evening, + the boys went to the theater, and I stayed at home, industriously + copying "The Star of Seville" till bedtime. + + _Thursday, 12th._--To the theater to rehearsal, after which I drove + to Hayter's (the painter), taking him my bracelets to copy, and + permission to apply to the theater wardrobe for any drapery that + may suit his purpose. I saw a likeness of Mrs. Norton he is just + finishing; very like her indeed, but not her handsomest look. I + think it had a slight, curious resemblance to some of the things + that have been done of me. I saw a very clever picture of all the + Fitzclarences, either by himself or his brother, George Hayter. The + women are very prettily grouped, and look picturesque enough; the + modern man's dress is an abominable object, of art or nature, and + Lord Munster's costume, holding, as he does, the very middle of the + canvas, is monstrous (which I don't mean for a rudeness, but a + pun). The Right Reverend Father in God (A.F.) is laughably like. + They have insisted on having a portrait of their mother introduced + in the room in which they are sitting, which seems to me better + feeling than taste. Their royal father is absent. I worked at "The + Star of Seville" till I went to the theater; as I get nearer the + end, I get as eager as a race-horse when in sight of the goal.... + The piece was "The School for Scandal;" the house was very full. I + did not play well; I spoke too fast, and perceived it, and could + not make myself speak slower--an unpleasant sort of nightmare + sensation; besides, I was flat, and dull, and pointless--in short, + bad was the sum total. How well Ward plays Joseph Surface! The + audience were delightful; I never heard such pleasant shouts of + laughter.... My father says perhaps they will bring out "The Star + of Seville," which notion sometimes brings back my old girlish + desire for "fame." Every now and then I feel quite proud at the + idea of acting in a play of my own at two and twenty, and then I + look again at my "good works," this precious play, and it seems to + be no better than "filthy rags." But perhaps I may do better + hereafter. Hereafter! Oh dear! how many things are better than + doing even the best in this kind! how many things must be better + than real fame! but if one has none of those, fame might, perhaps, + be pleasant. No actor's fame, or rather celebrity, or rather + notoriety, would satisfy me; that is the shadow of a cloud, the + echo of a sound, the memory of a dream, nothing come of nothing. + The finest actor is but a good translator of another man's work; he + does somebody else's thought into action, but he creates nothing, + and that seems to me the test of genius, after all. + + _Friday._--At eleven to the theater to rehearse "Katharine of + Cleves." ... We all went to the theater to see "Rob Roy," and I was + sorry that I did, for it gave me such a home-sick longing for + Edinburgh, and the lovely sea-shore out by Cramond, and the sunny + coast of Fife. How all my delightful, girlish, solitary rambles + came back to me! Why do such pleasant times ever pass? or why do + they ever come? The Scotch airs set me crying with all the + recollections they awakened. In spite, moreover, of my knowing + every plank and pulley, and scene-shifter and carpenter behind + those scenes, here was I crying at this Scotch melodrama, feeling + my heart puff out my chest for "Rob Roy," though Mr Ward is, alas! + my acquaintance, and I know when he leaves the stage he goes and + laughs and takes snuff in the green room. How I did cry at the + Coronach and Helen Macgregor, though I know Mrs. Lovell is thinking + of her baby, and the chorus-singers of their suppers. How I did + long to see Loch Lomond and its broad, deep, calm waters once more, + and those lovely green hills, and the fir forests so fragrant in + the sun, and that dark mountain well, Loch Long, with its rocky + cliffs along whose dizzy edge I used to dream I was running in a + whirlwind; the little bays where the sun touched the water as it + soaked into cushions of thick, starry moss, and the great tufts of + purple heather all vibrating with tawny bees! Beautiful wilderness! + how glad I am I have once seen it, and can never forget it; nor the + broad, crisping Clyde, with its blossoming bean-fields, its jagged + rocks and precipices, its gray cliffs and waving woods, and the + mountain streams of clear, bright, fairy water, rushing and + rejoicing down between the hills to fling themselves into its + bosom; and Dumbarton Castle, with its snowy roses of Stuart memory! + How glad I am that I have seen it all, if I should never see it + again! And "Rob Roy" brought all this and ever so much more to my + mind. If I had been a mountaineer, how I should have loved my land! + I wish I had some blood-right to love Scotland as I do. + Unfortunately, all these associations did not reconcile me to the + cockney-Scotch of our Covent Garden actors, and Mackay's Bailie + Nicol Jarvie was not the least tender of my reminiscences. [It was + at a public dinner in Edinburgh, at which Walter Scott and Mackay + were guests, that, in referring to the admirable impersonation of + the Bailie, Scott's habitual caution with regard to the authorship + of the Waverley Novels for a moment lost its balance, and in his + warm commendation of the great comedian's performances a sentence + escaped him which appeared conclusive to many of those present, if + they were still in doubt upon the subject, that he was their + writer.] Miss Inveraretie was a cruel Diana, but who would not + be?... + + _Saturday, 14th._--I rode at two with my father. Passed Tyrone + Power; what a clever, pleasant man he is; Count d'Orsay joined us; + he was riding a most beautiful mare; and then James Macdonald, _cum + multus aliis_, and I was quite dead, and almost cross, with + cold.... After dinner I came up to my room, and set to work like a + little galley slave, and by tea-time I had finished my play. "Oh, + joy forever! my task is done!" I came down rather tipsy, and + proclaimed my achievement. After tea I began copying the last act, + but my father desired me to read it to them; so, at about half-past + nine, I began. My mother cried much; what a nice woman she is! My + father, Dall, and John agreed that it was beautiful, though I + believe the two first excellent judges were fast asleep during the + latter part of the reading, which was perhaps why they liked it so + much. At the end my mother said to me, "I am proud of you, my + dear;" and so I have my reward. After a little congratulatory + conversation, I came to bed at two o'clock, and slept before my + head touched the pillow. So now that is finished, and I am glad it + is finished. Is it as good as a second piece of work ought to be? I + cannot tell. I think so differently of it at different times that I + cannot trust my own judgment. I will begin something else as soon + as possible. I wonder why nowadays we make all our tragedies + foreign? Romantic, historical, knightly England had people and + manners once picturesque and poetical enough to serve her + play-writers' turn, though Shakespeare always took his stories, + though not his histories, from abroad; but people live tragedies + and comedies everywhere and all time. I think by and by I will + write an English tragedy. [I little thought then that I should + write a play whose miserable story was of my own day, and call it + "An English Tragedy."] + + _Sunday, 15th._-- ... In the afternoon hosts of people called; + among others Lady Dacre, who stayed a long time, and wants us to go + to her on Thursday. Copied "The Star of Seville" all the evening. + At ten dear Mr. Harness came in, and stayed till twelve. + + _Monday, 16th._--Rehearsed "Katharine of Cleves" at eleven, but as + Lord Francis did not come till twelve we had to begin it again, and + kept at it until two. The actors seem frightened about it. Mr. + Warde quakes about the pinching (an incident in the play taken, I + suppose, from Ruthven's proceeding toward Mary Stewart at + Lochleven). I am only afraid I cannot do anything with my part; it + is a sort of melodramatic, pantomimic part that I have no capacity + for. The fact is, that neither in the first nor last scenes are my + legs long enough to do justice to this lady. The Douglas woman who + barred the door with her arm to save King James's life must have + been a strapping lass, as well a heroine in spirit. I am not tall + enough for such feats of arms. Copied my play till time to go to + the theater. My aunt Victoire came to my dressing-room just as I + was going on, and persuaded dear Dall, who has never once seen me + act, to go into the front of the house. She came back very soon in + a state of great excitement and distress, saying she could not bear + it. How odd that seems! Dear old Dall! she cannot bear seeing me + make-believe miserable. The house was very good, and I played + fairly well. + + _Tuesday, 17th._--Went to my mother's room before she was down, + with Henry. It is her birthday, and I carried her the black velvet + dress I have got for her, with which she seemed much pleased. Went + to rehearsal at twelve. Lord and Lady Francis were there, and we + acted the whole play, of course, to please them, so that I was half + dead at the end of the rehearsal. They want us to go to Lady + Charlotte's (Greville) to-morrow. My father said we would if we + were all well and _in spirits_ (_i.e._, if the play was not + damped).... I wonder how my dear old Newhaven fish-wife does. "Eh! + gude gracious, ma'am, it's yer ain sel come back again!" Poor body! + I believe I love the very east wind that blows over the streets of + Edinburgh.... After dinner Mrs. Jameson's beautiful toy-likeness of + me helped off the time delightfully till the gentlemen came up, and + then helped it off delightfully till everybody went away. What a + misfortune it is to have a broken nose, like poor dear Thackeray! + He would have been positively handsome, and is positively ugly in + consequence of it. John and his friend Venables broke the bridge of + Thackeray's nose when they were schoolboys playing together. What a + mishap to befall a young lad just beginning life! [I suppose my + friend Thackeray's injury was one that did not admit a surgical + remedy, but my father, late in life, fell down while skating, and + broke the bridge of his nose, and Liston, the eminent surgeon, + urged him extremely to let him raise it--"build it again," as he + used to say. My father, however, declined the operation, and not + only remained with his handsome nose disfigured, but suffered a + much greater inconvenience, which Liston had predicted--very + aggravated deafness in old age, from the stopping of the passages + in the nose, which helped to transmit sound to the brain.] After + all, I suppose, it does not much signify to a man whether he is + ugly or not. Wilkes, who was pre-eminently so, but brilliantly + agreeable, used always to say that he was only half an hour + behindhand with the handsomest man in England. + + _Wednesday, 18th._--Went to the theater to rehearse "Katharine of + Cleves;" we were kept at it till half-past two. Drove home through + the park. The day was beautiful, but my poor father could not get + released from that hateful theater, and went without his ride.... I + had not felt at all nervous about to-night till the carriage came + to the door, and then I turned quite faint and sick with fright. At + the theater found Madame le Beau (the forewoman of the great + fashionable French milliner, Madame Dévy, by whom all my dresses + were made) waiting for me. All was in darkness in my dressing-room; + neither Mrs. Mitchell nor Jane were come (my two servants, or + dressers, as they are called at the theater). Presently in scuttled + the former, puffing, and whimpering apologies, and presently the + room was filled with the pleasant incense of eight candles that she + lighted, and blew out and relighted, and wondered that we didn't + enjoy the operation. Then Jane bounced breathless in, and made our + discomfort perfect. I sat speechless, terrified, and disconsolate. + My fright was increasing every instant, and by the time I was + dressed I shook like an aspen leaf from head to foot, and was as + sick as no heart could desire. My dresses were most beautiful, and + fitted me to perfection. The house was very fine. My poor dear + father, who was as perfect in his part as possible this morning, + did not speak three words without prompting; he was so nervous and + anxious about the success of the piece that his own part was driven + literally out of his head. I never saw anything so curious. To be + sure, his illness has shattered him very much, and all the worry he + has had this week has not mended matters. However, the play went + admirably, and was entirely successful, to assist which result I + thought I should have broken a blood-vessel in the last scene, the + exertion was so tremendous. My voice was weak with nervousness and + excitement, and at last I could hardly utter a word audibly. I + almost broke my arm, too, in good earnest, with those horrible iron + stanchions. However, it did be over at last, and "all's well that + ends well." I was so tired that I could scarcely stand; my mother + came down from her box and seemed much pleased with me. She went to + my father's room to see if I might not go home instead of to Lady + Charlotte's, but he seemed to think it would please them if we made + the effort of going for a few minutes; and so I dressed and set + off, and there we found a regular "swarry," instead of something to + eat and drink, and a chair to sit upon in peace and quiet. There + was a room full of all the fine folks in London; very few chairs, + no peace and quiet, and heaps of acquaintance to talk to.... All + the London world that is in London. Lord and Lady Francis took + their success very composedly. I don't think they would have cared + much if the play had failed. Henry Greville seemed to be much more + interested for them than they for themselves, and discussed it all + for a long time with me. I liked him very much.... At long last I + got home, and had some supper, but what with fatigue and + nervousness, and _it_--_i.e._, the supper--so late, I had a most + wretched night, and kept dreaming I was out in my part and jumping + up in bed, and all sorts of agonies. What a life! I don't steal my + money, I'm sure. + + _Thursday, 19th._-- ... Henry and I rode in the park, and though + the day was detestable, it did me good. As we were walking the + horses round by Kensington Gardens, Lord John Russell, peering out + of voluminous wrappers, joined us. Certainly that small, + sharp-visaged gentleman does not give much outward and visible sign + of the inward and spiritual power he possesses and wields over this + realm of England just now. His bodily presence might almost be + described as St. Paul's. This turner inside out and upside down of + our body, social and political, this hero of reform, one of the + ablest men in England--I suppose in Europe--he rode with us for a + long time, and I thought how H---- would have envied me this + conversation with her idol.... In the evening, at the theater, + though I had gone over my part before going there, for the first + time in my play-house experience I was _out_ on the stage. I + stopped short in the middle of one of my speeches, thinking I had + finished it, whereas I had not given Mr. Warde the cue he was to + reply to. How disgraceful!... After the play, my mother called for + us in the carriage, and we went to Lady Dacre's, and had a pleasant + party enough.... C---- G---- was there, with her mother (the clever + and accomplished authoress of several so-called fashionable novels, + which had great popularity in their day). Miss G----, now Lady + E---- T----, used to be called by us "la Dame Blanche," on account + of the dazzling fairness of her complexion. She was very brilliant + and amusing, and I remember her saying to one of her admirers one + evening, when her snowy neck and shoulders were shining in all the + unveiled beauty of full dress, "Oh, go away, P----, you _tan_ me." + (The gentleman had a shock head of fiery-red hair.) + + _Friday._-- ... I am horribly fagged, and after dinner fell fast + asleep in my chair. At the theater, in the evening, the house was + remarkably good for a "second night," and the play went off very + well.... My voice was much better to-night, though it cracked once + most awfully in the last scene, from fatigue.... I think Lord + Francis, or the management, or somebody ought to pay me for the + bruises and thumps I get in this new play. One arm is black and + blue (besides being broken every night) with bolting the door, and + the other grazed to the bone with falling in fits upon the floor on + my elbows. This sort of tragic acting is a service of some danger, + and I object to it much more than to the stabbing and poisoning of + the "Legitimate Drama;" in fact, "I do not mind death, but I cannot + bear pinching." + + _Saturday._-- ... Rode in the park with my father. Lord John + Russell rode with us for some time, and was very pleasant. He made + us laugh by telling us that Sir Robert Inglis (most bigoted of Tory + anti-reformers) having fallen asleep on the ministerial benches at + the time of the division the other night, they counted him on their + side. What good fun! I never saw a man look so wretchedly worn and + harassed as Lord John does. They say the ministry must go out, that + they dare not make these new peers, and that the Bill will stick + fast by the way instead of passing. What frightful trouble there + will be!... + + _Sunday, 22d._-- ... After church looked over the critiques in the + Sunday papers on "Katharine of Cleves." Some of them were too + good-natured, some too ill-natured. The _Spectator_ was exceedingly + amusing. + + By far the best account and criticism of this piece is Mr. Barham's + metrical report of it in the "Ingoldsby Legends." Lord Francis + himself used to quote with delight, "She didn't mind death, but she + couldn't bear pinching." ... + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, January 22, 1832. + + Thank you, my dearest H----, for your last delightful letter, which + I should have answered before, but for the production of a new + piece at Covent Garden, which has taken up all my time for the last + week in rehearsals, and trying on dresses and the innumerable and + invariable etceteras of a new play and part. It has been highly + successful, and I think is likely to bring money to our treasury, + which is _the_ consummation most devoutly to be wished. It is + nothing more than an interesting melodrama, with the advantage of + being written in gentlemanly (noblemanly?) blank verse instead of + turgid prose, and being acted by the principal instead of the + secondary members of the company. This will suffice to make you + appreciate my satisfaction, when I am complimented upon my acting + in it, and you will sympathize with the shout of laughter my father + and myself indulged in in the park the other day, when Lord John + Russell, who was riding with us, told us that a young lady of his + acquaintance had assured him that "Katharine of Cleves" (the name + of the piece) was vastly more interesting than any thing + Shakespeare had ever written. + + The report is that there is to be no new creation of peers, and + that the Bill will not pass. Certainly poor Lord John looks worried + to death. He and Lord Grey have almost the whole weight and + responsibility of this most momentous question upon their + shoulders, and it must be no trifle to carry. As for the judicious + young lady's judgment about "Katharine of Cleves," it is just this + sort of thing that makes me _rub the hands of my mind_ with + satisfaction that I have never cared for my profession as my family + has done. I think if I had, such folly, or rather stupidity, would + have exasperated me too much. Besides, I should have been much less + useful to the theater, for I should have lived in an everlasting + wrangle with authors, actors, and managers on behalf of the + mythological bodies supposed to preside over tragedy and comedy, + and I should have killed myself (or perhaps been killed), and that + quickly, with ineffectual protests against half the performances + before the lamps, which are enough to make the angels weep and + laugh--in short, go into hysterics, if they ever come to the + play.... + + Do you know you have almost increased my very sufficient tendency + to superstition by your presentiment when you last left us that you + should never return to this house. There is some talk now of our + leaving it. My mother yearns for her favorite suburban haunts, the + scene of her courtship, and the spot where most of her happy + youthful associations abide, and has half persuaded my father to + let this house and take one in a particular row of "cottages of + gentility" called Craven Hill. It only consists of twelve houses, + in _five_ of which my mother has, at different periods of her life, + resided. This is all vague at present; I will let you know if it + assumes a more definite shape. Some time will elapse before it is + decided on, and more before it is done; and in any case, somehow or + other, you must be once more under this roof with us before we + leave it.... + + I quite agree with you that such books as Mr. Hope's (on the nature + and immortality of the soul, the precise title of which I have + forgotten) "may be useless," and sometimes, indeed, worse. If a + person has nothing better to do than count the sea sands or fill + the old bottomless tub of the Danaides, they may be excused for + devoting their time and wits to such riddles, perhaps. But when the + mind has positive, practical work to perform, and time keeps + bringing _all the time_ specific duties, or when, as in your case, + a predisposition to vague speculation is the intellectual besetting + sin, I think _addition_ to such subjects to be avoided. I suppose + all human beings have, in some shape or degree, the desire for that + knowledge which is still the growth of the forbidden tree of + Paradise, and the lust for which inevitably thrusts us against the + bars of the material life in which we are consigned; but to give up + one's time to writing and reading elaborate theories of a past and + future which we may conceive to exist, but of the existence of + which it is impossible we should achieve _any_ proof, much less any + detailed knowledge, appears to me an unprofitable and + unsatisfactory misuse of time and talent.... + + You are mistaken in supposing me familiar with the early history of + Poland. I am ashamed to say I know nothing about it, and my zeal + for the cause of its people is an ignorant sentiment_alism_--partly, + perhaps, mere innate combativeness that longs to strike on the + weaker side, and partly, too, resentful indignation at the + cold-blooded neutrality observed by all the powers of Europe while + that handful of men were making so brave a stand against the + Russian giant. + + That reminds me that Prince Zartoryski, who is in this country just + now, came to the play the other night, and was so struck with my + father that he sent round to him to say that he desired the honor + of his acquaintance, and begged he would do him the favor of dining + with him on some appointed day, which seemed to me a very pretty + piece of impulsive enthusiasm. I believe Prince Zartoryski is a + royal personage, and so above conventionalities.... + + My father is pretty well, though very far from having entirely + regained his strength, but he is making gradual progress in that + direction.... + + Always affectionately yours, + FANNY. + + + _Tuesday, 24th._-- ... Read over "The Star of Seville," as Mr. + Bartley (our worthy stage manager) has cut it, with a view to its + possible performance. He has cut it with a vengeance--what one may + call to the quick. However, I suppose they know their own business + (though, by the by, I am not always so sure of that). At any rate, + I shall make no resistance, but be silent while I am sheared.... + + I rode in the park with John. My mare was ill, and Mew (the + stable-keeper) had sent me one of his horses, a great awkward + brute, who, after jolting me well up Oxford Street, no sooner + entered the park than he bolted down the drive as fast as legs + could carry him, John following afar off. In Rotten Row we were + joined by young T----.... When I thought the devil was a little + worked out of my horse, I raised him to a canter again, whereupon + scamper the second--I like a flash of lightning, they after me as + well as they could. John would not force my father's horse, but Mr. + T----, whose horse was a thoroughbred hunter, managed to keep up + with me, but lamed his horse in so doing. We then walked soberly + round the park and saw our friends and acquaintances, and, turning + down the drive, I determined once more to try my horse's + disposition, whereupon off he went again, like a shot, leaving John + far behind. I flitted down Rotten Row like Faust on the demon + horse, and as I drew up and turned about I heard, "Well, that woman + does ride well," which was all, whoever said it, knew of the + matter; whereas, in my mad career, I had passed Fozzard, who shook + his head lamentably at John, exclaiming, "Oh, Miss Fanny! Miss + Fanny!" After this last satisfactory experiment I made no more, and + we cut short our ride on account of my unmanageable steed.... + + We had a dinner party at home, and in the evening additional + guests, among them Thackeray, who is very clever and delightful. We + had music and singing and pleasant, bright talk, and they departed + and left us in great good humor. + + _Wednesday, 25th._--Read the "Prometheus Unbound." How gorgeous it + is! I do not think Shelley is read or appreciated now as + enthusiastically as he was, even in my recollection, some few years + ago. I went over my part, and at half-past five to the theater. The + play was "Katharine of Cleves," the house very good; and, to please + Henry Greville, I resumed the gold wreath I had discarded and + restored the lines I had omitted. After the play came home and + supped, and at eleven went to Lady F----'s.... A very fine party; + "everybody"--that is in town--was there, and Mrs. Norton looking + more magnificent than "everybody." Old Lady S---- like nothing in + the world but the mummy carried round at the Egyptian feasts, with + her parchment neck and shoulders bare, and her throat all drawn + into strings and cords, hung with a dozen rows of perfect precious + stones glittering in the glare of the lights with the constant + shaking of her palsied head. [This lady continued to frequent the + gayest assemblies in London when she had become so old and infirm + that, though still persisting daily in her favorite exercise on + horseback, she used to be tied into her saddle in such a manner as + to prevent her falling out of it. She had been one of the finest + riders in England, but used often, at the time when I knew her, to + go to sleep while walking the horse round the park, her groom who + rode near her being obliged to call to her "My lady! My lady!" to + make the poor old woman open her eyes and see where she was going. + At upward of eighty she died an unnatural death. Writing by + candle-light on a winter's evening, it is supposed that her cap + must have taken fire, for she was burnt to death, and had for her + funeral pile part of the noble historical house of Hatfield, which + was destroyed by the same accident.] + + Lord Lansdowne desired to be introduced to me, and talked to me a + long time. I thought him very good-natured and a charming talker. + Mrs. Bradshaw (Maria Tree) was there, looking beautiful. Our + hostess's daughter, Miss F----, is very pretty, but just misses + being a beauty; in that case a miss is a great deal worse than a + mile. Just as the rooms were beginning to thin, and we were going + away, Lord O---- sat down to the piano. I had heard a great deal + about his singing, and was rather disappointed; he has a sweet + voice and a sweet face, but Henry Greville's bright, sparkling + countenance and expressive singing are worth a hundred such mere + musical sentimentalities. [Mr. Henry Greville was one of the best + amateur singers of the London society of his day. He was the + intimate personal friend of Mario, whom I remember he brought to + our house, when first he arrived in London, as M. de Candia, before + the beginning of his public career, and when, in the very first + bloom of youth, his exquisite voice and beautiful face produced in + society an effect which only briefly forestalled the admiration of + all Europe when he determined to adopt the profession which made + him famous as the incomparable tenor of the Italian stage for so + many years.] Then, too, those lads sing songs, the words of which + give one the throat-ache with strangled crying, and when they have + done you hear the women all round mincing, "Charming!--how + nice!--sweet!--what a dear!--darling creature!" + + _Thursday, 26th._--Murray was most kind and good-natured and + liberal about all the arrangements for publishing "Francis I." and + "The Star of Seville." He will take them both, and defer the + publication of the first as long as the managers of Covent Garden + wish him to do so. [As there was some talk just then of bringing + out "The Star of Seville" at the theater, it was thought better not + to forestall its effect by the publication of "Francis I."] + + At the theater the play was "The School for Scandal." A---- F---- + was there, with young Sheridan; I hope the latter approved of my + method of speaking the speeches of his witty great-grandfather. I + played well, though the audience was dull and didn't help me. Mary + and William Harness supped with us.... + + _Friday, 27th._--A long discussion after breakfast about the + necessity of one's husband being clever. Ma foi je n'en vois pas la + nécessité. People don't want to be entertaining each other all day + long; _very_ clever men don't grow on every bush, and _middling_ + clever men don't amount to anything. I think I should like to have + married Sir Humphry Davy. A well-assorted marriage, as the French + say, seems to me like a well-arranged duet for four hands; the + treble, the woman, has all the brilliant and melodious part, but + the whole government of the piece, the harmony, is with the base, + which really leads and sustains the whole composition and keeps it + steady, and without which the treble for the most part _runs to + tune_ merely, and wants depth, dignity, and real musical + importance. + + In the afternoon went to Lady Dacre's.... She read me the first act + of a little piece she has been writing; while listening to her I + was struck as I never had been before with the great beauty of her + countenance, and its very varied and striking expression.... At + home spent my time in reading Shelley. How wonderful and beautiful + the "Prometheus" is! The unguessed heavens and earth and sea are so + many storehouses from which Shelley brings gorgeous heaps of + treasure and piles them up in words like jewels. I read "The + Sensitive Plant" and "Rosalind and Helen." As for the + latter--powerful enough, certainly--it gives me bodily aches to + read such poetry. + + What extraordinary proceedings have been going on in the House of + Commons! Mr. Percival getting up and quoting the Bible, and Mr. + Hunt getting up and answering him by quoting the Bible too. It + seems we are to have a general fast--on account of the general + national misconduct, I suppose; serve us right. + + _Sunday, 29th._--Went into my mother's room before going to church. + Henry Greville has sent her Victor Hugo's new book, "Notre Dame de + Paris," but she appears half undetermined whether she will go on + reading it or not, it is so painfully exciting. I took Mrs. + Montague up in the carriage on my way to church, and after service + drove her home, and went up to see Mrs. Procter, and found baby + (Adelaide Procter) at dinner. That child looks like a poet's child, + and a poet. It has something "doomed" (what the Germans call + "fatal") in its appearance--such a preternaturally thoughtful, + mournful expression for a little child, such a marked brow over the + heavy blue eyes, such a transparent skin, such pale-golden hair. + John says the little creature is an elf-child. I think it is the + prophecy of a poet. [And so, indeed, it was, as all who know + Adelaide Procter's writings will agree--a poet who died too early + for the world, though not before she had achieved a poet's fame, + and proved herself her father's worthy daughter.] ... In the + afternoon, I found my mother deep in her French novel, from which + she read me two very striking passages--the description of + Esmeralda, which was like a fine painting, and extremely beautiful, + and the sketch of Quasimodo's life, ending with his riding on the + great bell of the cathedral. Very powerful and very insane--a sort + of mental nightmare, giving one as much the idea of disorder of + intellect as such an image occurring to one in a dream would of a + disordered stomach. Harmony, order, the beauty of goodness and the + justice of God, are alike ignored in such works. How sad it is for + the future as well as for the present! + + _Monday, 30th._--King Charles' martyrdom gives me a holiday + to-night. Excellent martyr! Victor Hugo has set my mother raving. + She didn't sleep all night, and says the book is bad in its + tendency and shocking in its details; nevertheless, she goes on + reading it.... + + _Tuesday, January 31st._-- ... Went to Turnerelli's. He is making a + bust of me, that will perhaps be like--the man in the moon. Dall + was kind enough to read to me Mrs. Jameson's "Christina" while I + sat. I like it extremely. After I came home, read Shirley's play of + "The Two Sisters." I didn't like it much. It is neither very + interesting, very witty, nor very poetical, and might almost be a + modern work for its general want of power and character. The women + appear to me a little exaggerated--the one is mad and the other + silly. At the theater in the evening the house was very good + indeed--the play, "Katharine of Cleves;" but poor Mr. Warde was so + ill he could hardly stand. + + _Wednesday, February 1st._-- ... Drove out with Henry in the new + carriage. It is very handsome, but by no means as convenient or + capacious as our old rumble. Oh, these vanities! How we sacrifice + everything to them! + + _Thursday, 2d._ ... Rode out with my father. The whole world was + abroad in the sunshine, like so many flies. My mother was walking + with John and Henry, and Henry Greville. I should like to tell him + two words of my mind on the subject of lending "Notre Dame de + Paris" about to women. At any rate, we vulgar females are not as + much accustomed to mental dram-drinking as his fine-lady friends, + and don't stand that sort of thing so well.... In the evening we + went to the theater to see "The Haunted Tower." Youth and first + impressions are wonderful magicians. (I forget whether the music of + this piece was by Storace or Michael Kelly.) This was an opera + which I had heard my father and mother talk of forever. I went full + of expectation accordingly, and was entirely disappointed. The + meagerness and triteness of the music and piece astonished me. + After the full orchestral accompaniments, the richly harmonized + concerted pieces and exquisite melodies lavished on us in our + modern operas, these simple airs and their choruses and mean + finales produce an effect from their poverty of absolute musical + starvation. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, January 31, 1832. + MY DEAREST H---- G----, + + You are coming to England, and you will certainly not do so again + without coming to us. My father and mother, you know, speak by me + when I assure you that a visit from you would give us all the + greatest pleasure.... Do not come late in the season to us, because + at present we do not know whether June or July may take us out of + town.... With my scheme of going to America, I think I can look the + future courageously in the face. It is something to hold one's + fortune in one's own hands; if the worst comes to the worst it is + but another year's drudgery, and the whereabouts really matters + little.... We hear that the cholera is in Edinburgh. I cannot help + thinking with the deepest anxiety of those I love there, and I + imagine with sorrow that beautiful, noble city, those breezy hills, + those fresh, sea-weedy shores and coasts breathed upon by that dire + pestilence. The city of the winds, where the purifying currents of + keen air sweep through every thoroughfare and eddy round every + corner--perched up so high upon her rocky throne, she seems to sit + in a freer, finer atmosphere than all the world beside! (I appear, + in my enthusiastic love for Edinburgh, to have forgotten those + Immonderraze, the wynds and closes of the old town.) I hope the + report may not prove true, though from a letter I have received + from my cousin Sally (Siddons) the plague is certainly within six + miles of them. She writes very rationally about it, and I can + scarce forbear superstitiously believing that God's mercy will + especially protect those who are among His most devoted and dutiful + children.... + + You speak of my love of nature almost as if it were a quality for + which I deserve commendation. It is a blessing for which I am most + grateful. You who live uninclosed by paved streets and brick walls, + who have earth, sea, and sky _à discrétion_ spread round you in all + their majestic beauty, cannot imagine how vividly my memory recalls + and my mind dwells upon mere strips of greensward, with the shadows + of trees lying upon them. The colors of a patch of purple heather, + broken banks by roadsides through which sunshine streamed--often + mere effects of light and shade--return to me again and again like + tunes, and _to shut my eyes and look at them_ is a perfect delight + to me. I suppose one is in some way the better as well as the + happier for one's sympathy with the fair things of this fair world, + which are types of things yet fairer, and emanations from the great + Source of all goodness, loveliness, and sublimity. Whether in the + moral or material universe, images and ideas of beauty must always + be in themselves good. Beauty is one manifestation and form of + truth, and the transition seems to me almost inevitable from the + contemplation of things that are lovely to one's _senses_ to those + which are _lovable_ by one's spirits' higher and finer powers of + apprehension. The mind is kept sunny and calm, and free from ill + vapors, by the influence of beautiful things; and surely God loves + beauty, for from the greatest to the smallest it pervades all His + works; and poetry, painting, and sculpture are not as beautiful as + the things they reproduce, because of the imperfect nature-of their + creator--man; though _his_ works are only good in proportion as he + puts his soul--_i.e._, the Spirit of God--inspiration into them. + + Your affectionate + + F. A. K. + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, February 17, 1832. + MY DEAREST H----, + + "Francis I." will come out on the 1st of March, so your starting on + the 25th will do quite well for that; but it is right I should tell + you what may possibly deter you from coming. A report prevails that + the cholera is approaching London, and though I cannot say that I + feel nervous upon the subject, perhaps, under these circumstances, + you had rather or better not come. + + There have been many assertions and contradictions about it, of + course, and I know nothing but that such a rumor is prevalent, and + if this should cause you or (what is more likely) yours an + instant's hesitation, you must give up your visit. I know our + disappointment will be mutual and equal, and I am sure you will not + inflict it either upon yourself or me without adequate reason, so I + will say no more about it. + + The reason for bringing out "Francis I." now is that Milman has + undertaken to review it in the next _Quarterly_, and Murray wishes + the production of the play at the theater to be simultaneous with + the publication of the _Review_. + + My wrath and annoyance upon the subject have subsided, and I have + now taken refuge with restored equanimity in my "cannot help it." + Certainly I said and did all I could to hinder it. + + I do not feel at all nervous about the fate of the play--no English + public will damn an attempt of that description, however much it + may deserve it; and paradoxical as it may sound, a London audience, + composed as it for the most part is of pretty rough, coarse, and + hard particles, makes up a most soft-hearted and good-natured + whole, and invariably in the instance of a new actor or a new + piece--whatever partial private ill will may wish to do--the + majority of the spectators is inclined to patience and indulgence. + I do not mean that I shall not turn exceedingly sick when I come to + set my foot upon the stage that night; but it will only be with a + slight increase of the alarm which I undergo with every new part. + My poor mother will be the person to be pitied; I wish she would + take an opiate and go to bed, instead of to the theater that + night.... + + I was at a party last night where I met Lord Hill (then commander + of the forces), who had himself presented to me, and who renewed in + person the promise he had sent me through Sir John Macdonald (who + was adjutant-general), to exert and interest himself to the utmost + of his power about Henry's commission. + + John has finished his Anglo-Saxon book, and Murray has undertaken + to publish it for him, offering at the same time to share with him + whatever profits may accrue from it. The work is of a nature which + cannot give either a quick or considerable return; but the offer, + like all Mr. Murray's dealings with me, is very kind and liberal, + for a publisher is not easily found any more than readers for such + matter. (The book was the Anglo-Saxon Poem of Beowulf.) He asked me + to let him publish "Francis I.," as it is to be acted, without the + fifth act, but this I would not consent to. I have rather an + affection for my last scene in the Certoso at Pavia, with the monks + singing the "De Profundis" while the battle was going on, and the + king being brought in a prisoner and making the response to the + psalm--which is all historically true.... + + I must bid you good-by, dear, as I am going to the Angerstein + Gallery with the Fitzhughs.... + + Yours ever affectionately, + F. A. K. + + + _Saturday, 4th._--I was obliged to send an excuse to Turnerelli. I + could not sit to him this morning, as it is now determined that + "Francis I." is to be brought out, and received official notice + that it was to be read in the greenroom to-day. We went to the + theater at eleven, and all the actors were there. I felt very + uncomfortable and awkward; but, after all, writing a play is not a + sin, so I plucked up my courage and sat down with the rest. My + father read it beautifully, but even cut as it is, it is of an + _unendurable_ length. They were all very kind and civil, and + applauded it very much; but I do not love the sound of clapping of + hands, and did not feel on this occasion as if I had done the sort + of thing that deserves it.... + + At half-past five went to the theater; it was the first night of + the opera, and rained besides, both which circumstances thinned our + house; but I suspect "Katharine of Cleves" has nearly lived her + life. Driving to the theater, my father told me that they had + entirely altered the cast of "Francis I." from what I had + appointed, and determined to finish the play with the fourth act. I + felt myself get very red, but I didn't speak, though I cannot but + think an author has a right to say whether he or she will have + certain alterations made in their work. My position is a difficult + one, for did I not feel bound to comply with my father's wishes I + would have no hand in this experiment. I would forfeit fifty--nay, + a hundred--pounds willingly rather than act in this play, which I + am convinced ought not to be acted at all. Any other person might + do this, but with me it is a question of home duty, instead of a + mere matter of business between author, actress, and manager. They + couldn't act the play without me, and but for my father I should + from the first have refused to act in it at all. I do not think + that they manage wisely; it is a mere snatch at a bit of profit by + a way of catchpenny venture, to secure which they are running the + risk of injuring me more ways than one, and through me their own + interests. It seems to me shortsighted policy, but I cannot help + myself. After the play came home to supper, and at eleven went to + Lady Dacre's. Sidney Smith, Rogers. Conversation sharp. Lots of + people that I knew, in spite of which, in consequence, I suppose, + of my own state of spirits, I did not enjoy myself. Mrs. Norton was + there; she sang "My Arab Steed," and "Yes, Aunt," and "Joe Hardy;" + the latter I do not think very good. They made me sing; I was + horribly frightened. Julian Young was there; his manner and + appearance are not very good, but his voice is beautiful and he + sang very well. + + _Sunday, 5th._-- ... When I came back from church I found Campbell + with my mother, scraping up information about Mrs. Siddons for his + and her "life." I left him with her, and when I came back he was + gone, and in his place, as if he had turned into her, sat Mrs. + Fitzgerald in a green velvet gown trimmed with sables, which + excited my admiration and envy. I should like to have been living + in the days and countries where persons, as a mark of favor, took + off their dress and threw it on your shoulders. How pleasant it + would have been!... + + Just before going to bed I spoke of writing a preface to "Francis + I.," which brought on a discussion with my mother on the subject of + that ill-fated piece, in the middle of which my father came in, and + I summoned up courage to say something of what I felt about it, and + how disagreeable it was to me to act in it, feeling as I did. I do + not think I can make them understand that I do not care a straw + whether the piece dies and is damned the first night, or is cut up + alive the next morning, but that I do care that, in spite of my + protestations, it should be acted at all, and should be cut and + cast in a manner that I totally disapprove of. + + _Monday, 6th._-- ... On our way to the theater my father told me + that the whole cast of "Francis I." is again turned topsy-turvy. + Patience of me! I felt very cross, so I held my tongue. Mr. and + Miss Harness came home to supper with us, and had a long talk about + "Francis I.," my annoyance about which culminated, I am ashamed to + say, in a fit of crying. + + _Tuesday, 7th._--So "Francis I." is in the bills, I see.... + + _Wednesday, 8th._-- ... At eleven "The Provoked Husband" was + rehearsed in the saloon, and Mr. Meadows brought Carlo to see me. + [Carlo was a splendid Newfoundland dog, which my friend, Mr. + Drinkwater Meadows, used to bring to the theater to see me. His + solemnity, when he was desired to keep still while the rehearsal + was going on, was magnificent, considering the stuff he must have + thought it.] ... After dinner went to the theater. The house was + bad; the play, "The Provoked Husband." I played ill in spite of my + pink gauze gown, which is inestimable and as fresh as ever. After + supper dressed and off to Mrs. G----'s, and had a very nice + ball.... + + _Friday, 10th._-- ... I wrote to H---- to beg her to come to me + directly; I wish her so much to be here when my play comes out. + Went to the theater at a quarter to six. The house was bad; the + play, "Katharine of Cleves." I acted pretty well, _though_ my + dresses are getting shockingly dirty, and in one of the scenes my + wreath fell backward, and I was obliged to take it off in the + middle of all my epistolary agony; and what was still worse, after + my husband had locked me in one room and my wreath in another, it + somehow found its way back upon my head for the last scene. At the + end of the play, which has now been acted ten nights, some people + began hissing the pinching incident. It was always considered the + dangerous passage of the piece, but a reasonable public should know + that a play must be damned on its first night, or not at all. + + _Saturday, 11th._-- ... A long walk with my mother, and a long talk + about Shakespeare, especially about the beauty of his songs.... + + _Tuesday, 14th._-- ... Read the family my prologue. My mother did + not like it at all; my father said it would do very well. John + asked why there need be any prologue to the play, which is + precisely what I do not understand. However, I was told to write + one and I did, and they may use it or not just as they please. I am + determined to say not another word about the whole vexatious + business, and so peace be with them.... In the evening a charming + little dinner-party at Mr. Harness's. The G----s, Arthur K----, + Procter (Barry Cornwall), who is delightful, Sir William Millman, + and ourselves.... Dear Mr. Harness has spoken to Murray about + John's book, and has settled it all for him. On my return home, I + told John of the book being accepted, at which he was greatly + pleased. [The book in question was my brother's history of the + Anglo-Saxons, of which Lord Macaulay once spoke to me in terms of + the highest enthusiasm, deploring that John had not followed up + that line of literature to a much greater extent.] + + _Wednesday, 15th._-- ... My father went to the opening dinner of + the Garrick Club.... After tea I read Daru, and copied fair a + speech I had been writing for an imaginary member of the House of + Peers, on the Reform Bill. John Mason called, and they sat down to + a rubber, and I came to my own room and read "King Lear." ... + + _Thursday, 16th._-- ... While I was at the Fitzhughs' Miss Sturges + Bourne came in, and she and Emily had a very interesting + conversation about books for the poor. Among other things Emily + said that Lady Macdonald had written up to her from the country, to + say that she wanted some more books of sentiment, for that by the + way in which these were thumbed it was evident that they alone + would "go down." Upon inquiry, I found that these "sentimental" + books were religious tracts, highly flavored with terror or pathos, + and in one way or another calculated to convey the strongest + excitement upon the last subject with which excitement ought to + have anything to do. Pious stimulants, devout drams, this is trying + to do good, but I think mistaking the way.... + + In the evening we went to Lady Farquhar's; this was a finer party, + as it is called, than the last, but not so pleasant. All the world + was there. Mrs. Norton the magnificent, and that lovely sister of + hers, Mrs. Blackwood (afterwards Lady Dufferin), crowned like + Bacchantes with grapes, and looking as beautiful as dreams. Heaps + of acquaintance and some friends.... + + _Sunday, 10th._-- ... In the evening I read Daru. What fun that + riotous old Pope Julius is! Poor Gaston de Foix! It was young to + leave life and such well-begun fame. The extracts from Bayard's + life enchant me. I am glad to get among my old acquaintance again. + Mr. Harness came in rather late and said all manner of kind things + about "The Star of Seville," but I was thinking about his play all + the while; it does not seem to me that the management is treating + him well. If it does not suit the interests of the theater to bring + it out now, he surely should be told so, and not kept in a state of + suspense, which cannot be delightful to any author, however little + of an egotist he may be. + + _Monday, 20th._--Went to Kensington Gravel Pits to see Lady + Calcott, and sat with her a long time. That dying woman, sitting in + the warm spring sunlight, surrounded with early-blowing hyacinths, + the youngest born of the year, was a touching object. She is a + charming person, so full of talent and of goodness. She talked with + her usual cheerfulness and vivacity. Presently Sir Augustus came + down from the painting-room to see me.... I could hardly prevent + myself from crying, and I am afraid I looked very sad. As I was + going away and stooped to kiss her, she sweetly and solemnly bade + "God bless me," and I thought her prayer was nearer to heaven than + that of most people.... + + _Tuesday, 21st._-- ... After tea dropped John at Mr. Murray's in + Albemarle Street, and went on to the theater to see the new opera; + our version of "Robert the Devil." The house was very full. Henry + Greville was there, with the Mitfords and Mrs. Bradshaw. What an + extraordinary piece, to be sure! I could not help looking at the + full house and wondering how so many decent Englishmen and women + could sit through such a spectacle.... The impression made upon me + by the subject of Meyerbeer's celebrated opera appears to have + entirely superseded that of the undoubtedly fine music; but I never + was able to enjoy the latter because of the former, and the only + shape in which I ever enjoyed "Robert the Devil" was in M. + Levassor's irresistibly ludicrous account of it in the character of + a young Paris _badaud_, who had just come from seeing it at the + theater. His version of its horrors was laughable in the extreme, + especially when, coming to the episode of the resurrection of the + nuns, he contrived to give the most comical effect of a whole + crowd--gibbering, glissading women greeting one another with the + rapid music of the original scene, to which he adapted the words-- + + "Quoi c'est moi c'est toi, + Oui c'est toi c'est moi; + Comme nous voila bien dégommés." + + Mendelssohn's opinion of the subjects chosen for operas in his day + (even such a story as that of the Sonnambula) was scornful in the + extreme. + + _Friday, 24th._-- ... Dined with the Fitzhughs, and after dinner + proceeded to the Adelphi, where we went to see "Victorine," which I + liked very much. Mrs. Yates acted admirably the whole of it, but + more particularly that part where she is old and in distress and + degradation. There was a dreary look of uncomplaining misery about + her, an appearance as of habitual want and sorrow and suffering, a + heavy, slow, subdued, broken deportment, and a way of speaking that + was excellent and was what struck me most in her performance, for + the end is sure to be so effective that she shares half her merit + there with the situation. Reeve is funny beyond anything; his face + is the most humorous mask I ever saw in my life. I think him much + more comical than Liston. The carriage was not come at the end of + the first piece, so we had to wait through part of "Robert the + Devil" (given at last, such was its popularity, at every theater in + London). Of course, after our own grand _diablerie_, it did not + strike me except as being wonderfully well done, considering the + size and means of their little stage. [Yates made a most capital + fiend: I should not like a bit to be Mrs Yates after seeing him + look that part so perfectly.] + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, February 24, 1832. + DEAREST H----, + + I have this moment received your letter, and though rather + disappointed myself, I am glad you are to see Dorothy as well as + we, so that your visit southward is to be two pleasures instead of + one. The representation of "Francis I." is delayed until next + Wednesday, 7th March; not on account of cholera, but of scenery and + other like theatrical causes of postponement.... + + I am greatly worried and annoyed about my play. The more I see and + hear of it the stronger my perception grows of its defects, which, + I think, are rendered even more glaring by the curtailments and + alterations necessary for its representation; and the whole thing + distresses me as much as such a thing can. I send you the cast of + the principal characters for the instruction of my Ardgillan + friends, by whose interest about it I am much gratified. My father + is to be De Bourbon; John Mason, the king; Mr. Warde, the monk; Mr. + Bennett, Laval. These are the principal men's parts. I act the + queen-mother; Miss Taylor, Margaret de Valois; and Miss Tree, + Françoise de Foix. + + I am reading Cooper's novel of "The Borderers." It is striking and + powerful, and some of it I think very beautiful, especially all + that regards poor Ruth, which, I remember, is what struck you so + much. I like the book extremely. There is a soft sobriety of color + over it all that pleases me, and reminds me of your constant + association of religion and the simple labors of an agricultural + life. It is wonderful how striking the description of this + neutral-tinted existence is, in which life, love, death, and even + this wild warfare with the savage tribes, by which these people + were surrounded, appear divested of all their natural and usual + excitements. Religion alone (and this, of course, was inevitable) + is the one imaginative and enthusiastic element in their existence, + and that alone becomes the source of vehement feeling and + passionate excitement which ought least to admit of fanciful + interpretations and exaggerated and morbid sentiment. But the + picture is admirably well drawn, and I cannot help sometimes + wishing I had lived in those days, and been one of that little + colony of sternly simple and fervently devout Christian souls. But + I should have been a furious fanatic; I should have "seen visions + and dreamed dreams," and fancied myself a prophetess to a + certainty. + + That luckless concern, in which you are a luckless shareholder + (Covent Garden), is going to the dogs faster and faster every day; + and, in spite of the Garrick Club and all its noble regenerators of + the drama, I think the end of it, and that no distant one, will be + utter ruin. They have been bringing out a new grand opera, called + "Robert the Devil," which they hope to derive much profit from, as + it is beyond all precedent absurd and horrible (and, as I think, + disgusting); but I am almost afraid that it has none of these good + qualities in a sufficient degree to make it pay its own enormous + cost. I have seen it once, and came home with such a pain in my + side and confused chaos in my head that I do not think I shall ever + wish to see it again. Write me a line to say when I may look for + you. + + Ever affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + + + _Saturday, 25th._-- ... Finished Fenimore Cooper's interesting and + pathetic novel, "The Borderers." ... I came down into the + drawing-room with a headache, a sideache, a heartache, and swollen + red eyes, and my mother greeted me with the news that the theater + was finally ruined, that at Easter it must close, that we must all + go different ways, and I probably to America. I was sobered from my + imaginary sorrow directly; for it is astonishing what a different + effect real and fictitious distress has upon one. I could not + answer my mother, but I went to the window and looked up and down + the streets that were getting empty and dark and silent, and my + heart sank as I thought of leaving my home, my England.... After + dinner Madame le Beau came to try on my Louisa of Savoy's dress; it + is as ugly and unbecoming, but as correct, as possible.... + + _Wednesday, 23d._--At eleven went to the theater to rehearse + "Francis I." The actors had most of them been civil enough to learn + their parts, and were tolerably perfect. Mr. Bennett will play his + very well indeed, if he does not increase in energy when he comes + to act. Miss Tree, too, I think, will do her part very nicely. John + Mason is rather vulgar and 'prentice-like for Francis, that mirror + of chivalry. After rehearsal I went to Dévy, to consult about my + dress. I have got a picture of the very woman, Louisa of Savoy, + queen-mother of France, and, short of absolute hideousness, I will + make myself as like her as I can.... + + Arthur Hallam dined with us. I am not sure that I do not like him + the best of all John's friends. Besides being so clever, he is so + gentle, charming, and winning. At half-past ten went to Mrs. + Norton's. My father, who had received a summons from the Court of + Chancery, did not come.... It was a very fine, and rather dull, + party.... Mrs. Norton looks as if she were made of precious stones, + diamonds, emeralds, rubies, sapphires; she is radiant with beauty. + And so, in a different way, is that vision of a sister of hers + (Georgiana Sheridan, Lady St. Maur, Duchess of Somerset, and Queen + of Beauty), with her waxen, round, white arms, and eyes streaming + with soft brilliancy, like fountains by moonlight. To look at two + such creatures for an hour is enough to make the world brighter for + several hours. + + _Thursday, 24th._--At eleven went to rehearsal. While we were + rehearsing Mr. Bartley came and told me that the play, "Francis + I.," would not be done for a fortnight, and afterward my father + told me he did not think it was right, or fitting, or doing me + justice to bring out my play without some little attention to + scenery, decorations, etc. I entreated him to go to no expense for + it, for I am sure it will not repay them. Moreover, they have given + their scenery, and finery, and dressing, and decoration, and + spectacle in such profusion to "Robert the Devil" that I am sure + they cannot afford a heavy outlay upon anything else just now. + However, I could not prevail, and probably the real reason for + putting off "Francis I." is the expediency of running the new opera + as long as it will draw before bringing out anything else, which, + of course, is good policy.... + + _Wednesday, 29th._--H---- has gone to York. What a disappointment! + After all, it's only one more added to the budget. Yet why do I say + that? One scores one's losses, and takes no reckoning of one's + gains, which is neither right nor fair to one's life.... + + I rode with Henry, and after I got home told my father that his + horse was quite well, and would be fit for his use on Saturday. He + replied sadly that his horse must be sold, for that from the first, + though he had not liked to vex me by saying so, it was an expense + he could not conscientiously afford. I had expected this, and + certainly, when from day to day a man may be obliged to declare + himself insolvent, keeping a horse does seem rather absurd. He then + went on to speak about the ruin that is falling upon us; and dismal + enough it is to stand under the crumbling fabric we have spent + having and living, body, substance, and all but soul, to prop, and + see that it must inevitably fall and crush us presently. Yet from + my earliest childhood I remember this has been hanging over us. I + have heard it foretold, I have known it expected, and there is no + reason why it should now take any of us by surprise, or strike us + with sudden dismay. Thank God, our means of existence lie within + ourselves; while health and strength are vouchsafed to us there is + no need to despond. It is very hard and sad to be come so far on in + life, or rather so far into age, as my father is, without any hope + of support for himself and my mother but toil, and that of the + severest kind; but God is merciful. He has hitherto cared for us, + as He cares for all His creatures, and He will not forsake us if we + do not forsake Him or ourselves.... My father and I need scarcely + remain without engagements, either in London or the provinces.... + If our salaries are smaller, so must our expenses be. The house + must go, the carriage must go, the horses must go, and yet we may + be sufficiently comfortable and very happy--unless, indeed, we have + to go to America, and that will be dreadful.... We are yet all + stout and strong, and we are yet altogether. It is pitiful to see + how my father still clings to that theater. Is it because? the art + he loves, once had its noblest dwelling there? Is it because his + own name and the names of his brother and sister are graven, as it + were, on its very stones? Does he think he could not act in a + smaller theater? What can, in spite of his interest, make him so + loth to leave that ponderous ruin? Even to-day, after summing up + all the sorrow and care and toil, and waste of life and fortune + which that concern has cost his brother, himself, and all of us, he + exclaimed, "Oh, if I had but £10,000, I could set it all right + again, even now!" My mother and I actually stared at this + infatuation. If I had twenty, or a hundred thousand pounds, not one + farthing would I give to the redeeming of that fatal millstone, + which cannot be raised, but will infallibly drag everything tied to + it down to the level of its own destruction. The past is past, and + for the future we must think and act as speedily as we may. If our + salaries are half what they are now we need not starve; and, as + long as God keeps us in health of body and mind, nothing need + signify, provided we are not obliged to separate and go off to that + dreadful America. + + _Thursday, March 1st._-- ... After dinner I read over again + Knowles's play, "The Hunchback," and like it better than ever. What + would I not give to have written that play! He cannot agree with + Drury Lane about it, and has brought it back to us, and means to + act Master Walter himself. I am so very glad. It will be the most + striking dramatic exhibition that has been seen since Kean's + _début_. I wish "Francis I." was done, and done with, and that we + were rehearsing "The Hunchback." + + + GREAT RUSSELL STREET, March 1, 1832. + + ... As for any disappointment of mine about anything, dear H----, + though some things are by no means light to me, I soon make up my + mind to whatever must be, and I think those who do not endure well + what cannot be avoided are only less foolish than those who endure + what they can avoid. "Francis I." will not, I think, interfere with + your visit to us. Murray wishes it to be postponed till after the + publication of the _Quarterly_, which will come out about the 11th + or 12th. Lockhart, and not Milman, has reviewed it very favorably, + I hear, and Murray expects to sell one edition immediately upon the + publication of the article in the _Quarterly_. So that you can stay + at Fulford some time yet; and should the play be given before you + wish to leave it, I shall not expect you in person, but feel sure + that you are with me in spirit; and the next day I will write you + word of the result. + + Dearest H----, I am just now much burdened with anxiety. I will + tell you more of this when we meet. Thank God, though not of a + sanguine, I am not of a desponding nature; and though I never look + forward with any great satisfaction to the future, I seldom find it + difficult to accept the present with tolerable equanimity.... I + spent the evening on Wednesday with Mrs. Jameson. She is just + returned to town, and came immediately, thinking you were here, to + engage us for the next evening; and as you did not come I went, and + spent three hours very pleasantly with her. She knows so much, and + I am so very ignorant, that her conversation is delightfully + instructive as well as amusing, full of interest and information. + Poor woman! she left Tedsley and a very agreeable party to come up + to town upon a false alarm of "Francis I.'s" coming out. I think I + have told you of the work upon Shakespeare she is engaged with; she + has been teaching herself to etch, and has executed some charming + designs, with which she means to illustrate it. I have not an idea + what our plans for this summer are to be; whether America, or the + provinces, or the King's Bench; but I suppose we shall see a little + more clearly into the future by the time you come to us; and if we + do not, abundantly "sufficient for the day is the evil thereof" + with us just now.... I have been reading nothing but Daru's + "History of Venice" lately. How could you tell me to read that sad + story, "The Borderers"! I half killed myself with crying over it, + and did not recover from the effect it had upon me for several + days. + + Dearest H----, I am writing nonsense, and with an effort, for I am + very low; and so I will leave off. + + Your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + _Friday, March 2d._--I read Shirley's "Gentleman of Venice," and + did not like it much.... While I was riding in the park with John, + Mr. Willett came up to us, and told me, as great good news, that + they were out of Chancery, and had obtained an order to have their + money out of court. I thought this indeed good news, and we + cantered up the drive in hopes of meeting my mother in the + carriage; but she had gone home. On reaching home, I ran to look + for her, but thought she would like better to hear the news from my + father. + + I told Dall of it, however; and she, who had just seen my father, + said that he considered what had happened a most unfortunate thing + for him; and so my bright, new joy fell to the ground, and was + broken all to pieces. Upon further explanation, however, it seems + that it is an advantage to the other proprietors, though not to + him; no part of the recovered money returning to him, because he + had borrowed his share of it from Mr. Willett; and the only + difference is that he will not have to pay the interest on it any + more, and so far it is a small advantage to him. But it is a great + one to them, poor men! and therefore we ought to be glad, and not + look only at our own share of the business, though naturally that + is the most interesting to us. I sometimes doubt, after all, if we + have really by any means a clear and comprehensive view of the + whole state of that concern, receiving our impressions from my + father, who naturally looks at it only from the side of his own + personal stake in it.... After dinner John read me a letter he had + just received from Richard Trench--a most beautiful letter. What a + fine fellow he is, and what a noble set of young men these friends + of my brother's are! After tea read Arthur Hallam's essay on the + philosophical writings of Cicero. It is very excellent; I should + like to have marked some of the passages, they are so admirably + clear and true; but he has only lent it to me. His Latin and Greek + quotations were rather a trial, but I have no doubt his English is + as good as anything he quotes. Surely England twenty years hence + should be in a higher state of moral and intellectual development + than it is now: these young heads seem to me admirably good and + strong, and some score years hence these fine spirits will be + influencing the national mind and soul of England; and it pleases + me much to think so. [Alas! as far as dear Arthur Hallam was + concerned, my prophetic confidence was vain.] After finishing + Hallam's essay, I took up "King Lear," and read the end of that, + "and my poor fool is hanged!" O Lord, what an agony! In reading + "Lear," one of Mr. Harness's criticisms on my "Star of Seville" + recurred to me. In the scene where Estrella deplores her brother's + death, I have used frequent repetition of the same words and + exclamations. I wrote upon impulse, without deliberation, and + simply as my conception of sorrow prompted me, such words as grew + from my heart and not my understanding. But in reading "King Lear," + the iteration in the expression of deep grief confirms me in the + opinion that it is natural to all men, and not peculiar to myself, + for Shakespeare has done it. In the scene where Gloster tells + Cornwall and Regan of Edgar's supposed wickedness, the wretched old + father uses frequent repetition, as, "Oh, madam, my old heart is + cracked; it's cracked!" "Oh, lady, lady, shame would have it hid!" + "I know not, madam: 'tis too bad, too bad!" and in the last scene, + that most piteous and terrible close that story ever had, the poor + old king, in his moanings over Cordelia, repeats his words over and + over again. I defend my conception, not my execution of it; and + true and touching as these repetitions of Shakespeare's are, mine + may be "damnable iteration," and nothing else. Heart-broken sorrow + has but few words; utter bereavement is not eloquent; and David, + when the darling of his soul was dead, did but cry, "O Absalom, my + son, my son! would God I had died for thee, my son!" A vastly + different expression of a vastly different grief from that which + poured itself out in the sad and noble dirge, "The beauty of Israel + is slain upon thy high places: how are the mighty fallen!" + + _Saturday, 3d._--Henry has obtained his commission; one great piece + of good fortune amid all the bad, for which God be thanked. [The + liberal price given me by Mr. Murray for my play of "Francis I." + enabled me to purchase my brother's commission, which, however, the + money would not have obtained without the extremely kind interest + exerted in his favor by Lord Hill, then commander, and Sir John + Macdonald, adjutant-general of the forces.] + + _Sunday, 4th._-- ... My father is in deplorable spirits, and seems + bowed down with care. I believe all that befalls us is right. I + know we must bear it; all I pray for is health, strength and + courage to bear it well. In the evening the Harnesses drank tea + with us. + + _Monday, 5th._--Got ready things for the theater, and went over my + part.... In the afternoon, I hoped to hear the result of the + meeting that had been held by the creditors of the theater; but my + father had been obliged to leave it before anything was settled, + and did not know what had been the termination of the consultation. + At the theater the house was not good, neither was my acting. My + father acted admirably, to my amazement: for he has been in a most + wretched state of depression for the last week, and to-day at + dinner his face looked drawn and haggard and absolutely + lead-colored. + + _Tuesday, 6th._--After breakfast went with Henry and my father to + Cox and Greenwood's, the great army agents, to pay for his + commission. Oh, what a good job, to be sure! Then to the Horse + Guards, to thank dear Sir John Macdonald; then to Stable Yard, to + call upon Lord Fitzroy Somerset; and then home, much happier than I + had been for a long time.... Madame le Beau brought my dress for + Louisa of Savoy; it is very handsome, but I look hideous, and as + grim as Queen Death in it. However, it is a precise copy of the + woman's own picture, and I must comfort myself with that. In the + evening we went to a pleasant party at the Basil Montagues', where + for an hour I recovered my love of dancing, which has rather + forsaken me of late. The Rajah Ramohun Roy had himself introduced + to me, and we presently began a delightful nonsense conversation, + which lasted a considerable time, and amused me extremely. His + appearance is very striking; his picturesque dress and color make + him, of course, a remarkable object in a London ball-room; his + countenance, beside being very intellectual, has an expression of + great sweetness and benignity and his remarks and conversation are + in the highest degree interesting, when one remembers what mental + energy and moral force and determination he must have exerted to + break through all the trammels which have opposed his becoming what + he is. I was turning away from him for a few moments, to speak to + Mr. Montague, who had begun a very interesting discourse on the + analysis of the causes of laughter, when the Rajah recalled my + attention to himself by saying, "I am going to quote the Bible to + you: you remember that passage, 'The poor ye have always with you, + but Me ye have not always.' Now, Mr. Montague you have always with + you, but me you have not always." So we resumed our conversation + together, and kept up a brief interchange of persiflage which made + us both laugh very much, and in which he showed a very ready use of + English language for a stranger. + + Mrs. Procter talked to me a great deal about her little Adelaide, + who must be a most wonderful creature. The profound and + unanswerable questions put to us by these "children of light" + confound us with the sense of our own spiritual and mental + darkness. I often think of Tieck's lovely and deep-meaning story of + "The Elves." How little we know of the hidden mysterious springs + from which these crystal cups are filled, or of the unseen + companions that may have strayed with their fellow to the threshold + of this earth, and walk with it while it yet retains its purity and + innocence; but, as it journeys on, turn back and forsake it, and + return to their home, leaving their sister-soul to wander through + the world with sin and sorrow for companions. + + _Wednesday, 7th._--I sent "The Merchant of Venice" to Ramohun Roy, + who, in our conversation last night, expressed a great desire to + read it.... + + _Thursday, 8th._-- ... In the evening acted Beatrice. The house was + very good, which I was delighted to see. The Harnesses supped with + us. While we were at supper, the _Quarterly Review_ came from + Murray's, and I read the article on "Francis I." aloud to them. It + is very "handsome," and I should think must satisfy my most + unreasonable friends. It more than satisfied me, for it made me out + a great deal cleverer than ever I thought I was, or ever, I am + afraid, shall be. + + _Friday, 9th._--Rehearsed "Francis I." When I came home found a + charming letter and some Indian books, from that most amiable of + all the wise men of the East, Ramohun Roy. Mrs. Jameson and Mr. + Harness called. + + _Saturday, 10th._--Rehearsed "Francis I." Tried on my dresses for + "The Hunchback;" they will be beautiful. The rehearsal was over + long before the carriage came for me; so I went into my father's + room and read the newspaper, while he and Mr. Bartley discussed the + cast of Knowles's play. It seems my father will not act in it. I am + sorry for that; it is hardly fair to Knowles, for no one else can + do it. My poor father seemed too bewildered to give any answer, or + even heed, to anything, and Mr. Bartley went away. My father + continued to walk up and down the room for nearly half an hour, + without uttering a syllable; and at last flung himself into a + chair, and leaned his head and arms on the table. I was horribly + frightened, and turned as cold as stone, and for some minutes could + not muster up courage enough to speak to him. At last I got up and + went to him, and, on my touching his arm, he started up and + exclaimed, "Good God, what will become of us all!" I tried to + comfort him, and spoke for a long time, but much, I fear, as a + blind man speaks of colors. I do not know, and I do not believe any + one knows, the real state of terrible involvement in which this + miserable concern is wrapped. What I dread most of all is that my + father's health will break down. To-day, while he was talking to + me, I saw him suddenly put his hand to his side in a way that sent + a pang through my heart. He seems utterly prostrated in spirit, and + I fear he will brood himself ill. God help us all! I came home with + a heavy heart, and got ready my things for the theater, and went + over my part. Emily called.... She brought me my aunt Siddons's + sketches of Constance and Lady Macbeth. They are simply written, + and though not analytically deep or powerful, are true, clear, and + good, as far as their extent reaches. She thinks Constance more + motherly than queenly, and I do not altogether agree with her. I do + not think the scene after Arthur is taken prisoner alone + establishes my aunt's position; the mother's sorrow there sweeps + every other consideration away. It is before that that I think her + love for her child is in some measure mixed with the feeling of the + sovereign for his heir; a love of power, in fact, embodied in the + boy who was to continue the dominion of a race of princes. He was + her royal child, and that I do not think she ever forgot till he + was, in her imagination, her dead child. She says she could endure + his being thrust from all his rights if he had been a less gracious + creature, and goes on-- + + "But thou art fair, dear boy: and at thy birth + Nature and fortune joined to make thee great;" + + and then bursts forth into her furious vituperation of those whose + treachery has frustrated his natural claim to greatness. The woman, + too, who in the utmost bitterness of disappointment, in the utter + helplessness and desolation of betrayal, and the prostration of + anguish and despair, calls on the earth, not for a shelter, not for + a grave, or for a resting-place, but for a throne, is surely + royally ambitious, a queen more than anything else. Mrs. Siddons's + conception of Lady Macbeth is very beautiful, and I was + particularly struck by her imagination of her outward woman: the + deep blue eyes, the fair hair and fair skin of the northern woman + (though, by the by, Lady Macbeth is a Highlander--I suppose a Celt; + and they are a dark race); the frail feminine form and delicate + character of beauty, which, united to that undaunted mettle which + her husband pays homage to in her, constituted a complex spell, at + once soft and strong, sweet and powerful, and seemed to me a very + original idea. My aunt makes a curious suggestion, supported only + by her own conviction, for which, however, she demonstrates no + grounds, that in the banquet scene Lady Macbeth sees Banquo's ghost + at the same time Macbeth does. It is very presumptuous in me to + differ from her who has made such a wonderful study of this part, + but it seems to me that this would make Lady Macbeth all but + superhuman; and in the scene with her husband that precedes the + banquet, Macbeth's words to her give me to understand that she is + entirely innocent of the knowledge even of his crime. + + _Monday, 12th._--Went to the theater to rehearse "Francis I." Miss + Tree and Mr. Bennett will act their parts admirably, I think.... + When I got home got ready my things for the theater, and went over + my part. The play was "Much Ado about Nothing," and I played as ill + as usual. The house was pretty good. + +[Here occurs an interruption of some weeks in my journal.] + +My friend, Miss S----, came and paid me a long visit, during which my +play of "Francis I." and Knowles's play of "The Hunchback" were +produced, and it was finally settled that Covent Garden should be let to +the French manager and entrepreneur, Laporte, and that my father and +myself should leave England, and go for two years to America. + +[The success of "Francis I." was one of entirely indulgent forbearance +on the part of the public. An historical play, written by a girl of +seventeen, and acted in it by the authoress at one and twenty, was, not +unnaturally, a subject of some curiosity; and, as such, it filled the +house for a few nights. Its entire want of real merit, of course, made +it impossible that it should do anything more; and, after a few +representations, it made way for Knowles's delightful play, which had a +success as great and genuine as it was well deserved, and will not fail +to be a lasting favorite, alike with audiences and actors.] + + _Thursday, June 14th._--A long break in my journal, and what a + dismal beginning to it again! At five o'clock H---- started for + Ireland.... Poor dear Dall cried bitterly at parting from her (my + aunt was to accompany me to America, and it was uncertain whether + we should see Miss S---- again before we sailed).... When I + returned, after seeing her off, I went disconsolately to my own + room. As I could not sleep, I took up the first book at hand, but + it was "Tristram Shandy," and too horribly discordant with my frame + of mind; besides, I don't like it at any time; it seems to me much + more coarse even than witty and humorous. + + _Friday, 15th._-- ... Almost at our very door met old Lady Cork, + who was coming to see us: We stopped our carriages, and had a + bawling conversation through the windows respecting my plans, past, + present, and to come, highly edifying, doubtless, to the whole + neighborhood, and which ended by her ladyship shrieking out to me + that I was "a supernatural creature" in a tone which must have made + the mummies and other strange sojourners in the adjacent British + Museum jump again.... In the evening, at the theater, the play was + "The Hunchback," for Knowles's benefit, and the house was not good, + which I do think is a shame. I played well, though Miss Taylor + disconcerted me by coming so near me in her second scene that I + gave her a real slap in the face, which I was very sorry for, + though she deserved it. After the play, Mr. Harness, Mrs. Clarke, + and Miss James supped with us; and after supper, I dressed for a + ball at the G----s', ... and much I wondered what call I had to be + at a ball, except that the givers of this festival are kind and + good friends of ours, and are fond of me, and I of them. But I was + not very merry at their ball for all that. We came home at half + past two, which is called "very early." Mr. Bacon was there (editor + of the _Times_, who married my cousin, Fanny Twiss), but I had no + chance to speak to him, which I was sorry for, as I like his looks, + and I liked his books: the first are good, and the latter are + clever. I cried all the way home, which is a cheerful way of + returning from a ball. + + _Saturday, 16th._-- ... Mrs. Clarke, Miss James, the Messrs. M----, + and Alfred Tennyson dined with us. I am always a little + disappointed with the exterior of our poet when I look at him, in + spite of his eyes, which are very fine; but his head and face, + striking and dignified as they are, are almost too ponderous and + massive for beauty in so young a man; and every now and then there + is a slightly sarcastic expression about his mouth that almost + frightens me, in spite of his shy manner and habitual silence. But, + after all, it is delightful to see and be with any one that one + admires and loves for what he has done, as I do him. Mr. Harness + came in the evening. He is excellent, and I am very fond of him. + They all went away about twelve. + + _Monday, 18th._-- ... At the theater, in the evening, the house was + good, and I played pretty fairly.... At supper my father read us + his examination before the committee of the House of Commons about + this minor theater business. Of course, though every word he says + upon the subject is gospel truth, it will only pass for the partial + testimony of a person deeply interested in his own monopoly. + + _Thursday, 21st._--Called on Mrs. Norton, ... and on Lady Dacre, to + bid her good-by. At the theater, in the evening, the house was + good, and I played very well. How sorry I shall be to go away! The + actors, too, all seem so sorry to have us go, and it will be so + hard to see none of the accustomed faces, to hear none of the + familiar voices, while discharging the tasks that are often so + irksome to me. John Mason came home after the play and supped with + us. + + _Friday, 22d._-- ... In the afternoon I called upon the Sotherbys, + to bid them good-by; afterward to the Goldsmiths', on the same + cheerless errand. Stopped at dear Miss Cottin's to thank her for + the beautiful bracelet she had sent me as a farewell present; and + then on to Lady Callcott's, with whom I spent a few solemn + moments--solemnity not without sweetness--and I scarcely felt + sorrowful when she said, "I shall never see you again." She is + going to what we call heaven, nearer to God (that is, in her own + consciousness, nearer to God).... + + In the evening to the theater. I only played pretty well, except + the last scene, which was better than the rest. At the end of the + play Mr. Bartley made the audience a speech, mentioning our + departure, and bespeaking their good will for the new management. + The audience called for Knowles, and then clamored for us till we + were obliged to go out. They rose to receive us, and waved their + hats and handkerchiefs, and shouted farewell to us. It made my + heart ache to leave my kind, good, indulgent audience; my friends, + as I feel them to be; my countrymen, my English folk, my "very + worthy and approved good masters;" and as I thought of the + strangers for whom I am now to work in that distant strange country + to which we are going, the tears rushed into my eyes, and I hardly + knew what I was doing. I scarcely think I even made the + conventional courtesy of leave-taking to them, but I snatched my + little nosegay of flowers from my sash, and threw it into the pit + with handfuls of kisses, as a farewell token of my affection and + gratitude. And so my father, who was very much affected, led me + off, while the house rang with the cheering of the audience. When + we came off my courage gave way utterly, and I cried most bitterly. + As my father was taking me to my dressing-room Laporte ran after + us, to be introduced to me, to whom I wished success very + dolorously from the midst of my tears. He said he ought to cry at + our going away more than any one; and perhaps he is right, but we + should be better worth his while when we come back, if ever that + day comes. I saw numbers of people whom I knew standing behind the + scenes to take leave of us. + + I took an affectionate farewell of poor dear old Rye (the + property-man), and Louis, his boy, gave me two beautiful nosegays. + It was all wretched, and yet it was a pleasure to feel that those + who surrounded and were dependent on us cared for us. I know all + the servants and workpeople of the theater were fond of me, and it + was sad to say good-by to all these kind, civil, cordial, humble + friends; from my good, pretty little maid, who stood sobbing by my + dressing-room door, to the grim, wrinkled visage of honest old + Rye.... + +[That was the last time I ever acted in the Covent Garden my uncle John +built; where he and my aunt took leave of the stage, and I made my first +entrance upon it. It was soon after altered and enlarged, and turned +into an opera-house; eventually it was burnt down, and so nothing +remains of it.] + + The Harnesses and their friend Mr. F---- supped with us. Mr. + Harness talked all sorts of things to try and cheer me; he labored + hard to prove to me that the world was good and happy, but only + succeeded in convincing me that he was the one, and deserved to be + the other. + + _Friday, 29th._--On board the Scotch steamer for Edinburgh.... We + passed Berwick and Dunbar, and the Douglases' ancient hold + Tantallon, and the lines from "Marmion" came to my lips. Poor + Walter Scott! he will never sail by this lovely coast again, every + bold headland and silver creek of which lives in his song or story. + He has given of his own immortality to the earth, which must ere + long receive the whole of his mortality.... + + _Saturday, 30th._--Went to rehearsal.... After dinner Mary Anne, my + maid, knowing my foible, came in with her arms full of two of the + most beautiful children I ever saw in my life.... [These beautiful + children were the daughters of the Duc de Grammont, and were + sharing with their parents the exile of the King of France, Charles + X., who had found in his banishment a royal residence as ruined as + his fortunes in the old Scottish palace of Holyrood. Ida de + Grammont, the eldest of my angels, fulfilled the promise of her + beautiful childhood as the lovely Duchesse de Guyche.] We spent a + pleasant evening at Mrs. Harry Siddons's. Mr. Combe and Macdonald + (the sculptor) were there. + + _Sunday, July 1st._-- ... We dined at Mr. Combe's, and had a very + pleasant dinner, but unluckily, owing to a stupid servant's + mistake, my old friend Mr. McLaren, who had been invited to meet + me, did not come. After dinner there was a tremendous discussion + about Shakespeare, but I do not think these men knew anything about + him. I talked myself into a fever, and ended, with great modesty + and propriety, by disabling all their judgments, at which piece of + impertinence they naturally laughed very heartily. + + + EDINBURGH, July 1, 1832. + DEAREST H----, + + We left London on Wednesday at eight o'clock. The parting between + my mother and Dall (who never met again; my dear aunt died in + America, in the second year of our stay there), and myself and my + dear little sister, was most bitter.... John came down to Greenwich + with us, but would not come on board the steamboat. He stood on the + shore and I at the ship's side, looking at what I knew was him, + though my eyes could distinguish none of his features from the + distance. My poor mother stood crying by my side, and bade me send + him away. I gave him one signal, which he returned, and then ran up + the beach, and was gone!--gone for two years, perhaps more; perhaps + gone from me forever in this world!... + + We shall be in Liverpool on Monday morning, the 16th of July, and + go to Radley's Hotel, where I hope we shall find you on our + arrival. My father is pretty well, in spite of all the late + anxieties and annoyances he has had to wade through. In the course + of the day preceding our departure from London two arrests were + served upon him by creditors of the theater, who, I suppose, think + when he is gone the whole concern must collapse and fall to pieces, + and I began to think some means would be devised to prevent our + leaving England after all. Our parting on Wednesday morning was, as + I told you, most miserable.... My poor mother was braver than I had + expected; but her parting from us, poor thing, is yet to come. + + I found a letter from Emily Fitzhugh here, inclosing one as an + introduction to a lady in New York, who had once been her + friend.... Edinburgh is lovely and dear, and peace and quiet and + repose are always found by me near my dear Mrs. Harry Siddons; but + my heart is, oh, so sad!... Pray answer this directly. The time is + at hand when the quickest "directly" in our correspondence will be + three months. + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + _Monday, 2d._--My father and I went to the theater to rehearse + "Romeo and Juliet." In the evening the house was very fair, + considering how much the hot weather is against us; but of all the + comfortless people to act to, commend me to an Edinburgh audience. + Their undemonstrativeness, too, is something more than mere + critical difficulty to be pleased; there is a want of kindliness in + the cold, discourteous way in which they allow a stranger to appear + before them without ever affording him the slightest token of their + readiness to accept the efforts made to please them. I felt quite + sorry this evening for poor Mr. Didear, to whom not the faintest + sign of encouragement was vouchsafed on his first coming on. This + is being cold to an unamiable degree, and seems to me both a want + of good feeling and good breeding. I acted as well as they would + let me. As for poor John Mason, concluding, I suppose, from their + frozen silence that he was flat and ineffective, he ranted and + roared, and pulled me about in the last scene, till I thought I + should have come to pieces in his hands, as the house-maids say of + what they break. I was dreadfully exhausted at the end of the play; + there is nothing so killing as an ineffectual appeal to sympathy, + and, as the Italians know, "ben servire e non gradire" is one of + the "tre cose da morire." ... + + _Tuesday, 3d._--Went to the theater to rehearse.... In the evening + the house was good, and the play went off very well. I acted well, + in spite of my new dresses, which stuck out all round me + portentously, and almost filled the little stage. J---- L---- was + like a great pink bird, hopping about hither and thither, and + stopping to speak, as if it had been well tamed and taught. The + audience actually laughed and applauded, and I should think must + have gone home very much surprised and exhausted with the unwonted + exertion. + + _Wednesday, 4th._--Went to the theater to rehearse "Francis I." + After I got home, my mother told me she had determined to leave us + on Saturday, and go back to London with Sally Siddons; and I am + most thankful for this resolution.... How sad it will be in that + strange land beyond the sea, among those strange people, to whom we + are nothing but strangers! But this is foolish weakness; it must + be; and what a world of strength lies in those two little words!... + At the theater the house was very good, and I played very well.... + + _Thursday, 5th._--After breakfast went to rehearse "The Gamester." + ... In the evening the house was not good. My father acted + magnificently; I never played this part well, and am now gone off + in it, and play it worse than not well; besides, I cannot bully + that great, big man, Mr. Didear; it is manifestly absurd. + + _Friday, 6th._--To the theater to rehearse "Francis I." On my + return found Mr. Liston and his little girl waiting to ride with + me.... [This was the beginning of my acquaintance with the + celebrated surgeon Liston, who afterward became an intimate friend + of ours, and to whose great professional skill my father was + repeatedly indebted for relief under a most painful malady. He was + a son of Sir Robert Liston, and cousin of the celebrated comedian, + between whom and himself, however, there certainly was no family + likeness, Liston, the surgeon, being one of the handsomest persons + I ever saw. The last time I saw him has left a melancholy + impression on my mind of his fine face and noble figure. He had + been attending me professionally, but I had ceased to require his + care, and had not seen him for some time, when one morning walking, + according to my custom in summer, before seven o'clock, as I came + to the bridge over the Serpentine in Kensington Gardens, a horseman + crossing the bridge stopped by the iron railing, and, jumping off + his horse, came toward me. It was Liston, who inquired kindly after + my health, and, upon my not answering quite satisfactorily, he + said, "Ah! well, you are better than I am." I laughed + incredulously, as I looked at a magnificent figure leaning against + the great black horse he rode, and looking like a model of manly + vigor and beauty. But in less than a week from that day Liston died + of aneurism; and I suppose that when I met him he was well aware of + the death which had got him literally by the throat.] + + _Saturday, 7th._--Miserable day of parting! of tearing away and + wrenching asunder!... At eleven we were obliged to go to rehearsal, + and when we returned found my mother busy with her packing.... When + she was gone, I sat down beside my father with a book in my hand, + not reading, but listening to his stifled sobbing; and every now + and then, in spite of my determination not to do it, looking up to + see how far the ship had moved. (Our windows looked over the + Forth.) But the white column of steam was rising steadily from + close under Newhaven, and for upward of half an hour continued to + do so. I had resolved not to raise my eyes again from my book, when + a sudden exclamation from my father made me spring up, and I saw + the steamer had left the shore, and was moving fast toward + Inchkeith, the dark smoky wake that lingered behind it showing how + far it had already gone from us, and warning us how soon it would + be beyond the ken of our aching eyes.... The carriage was + announced, and with a heavy heart and aching head, I drove to the + theater.... The play was "Francis I.," for the first time. The + house was very fine; I acted abominably, but that was not much to + be wondered at. However, I always have acted this part of my own + vilely; the language is not natural--mere stilted declamation from + first to last, most fatiguing to the chest, and impossible for me + to do anything with, as it excites no emotion in me whatever.... + + + EDINBURGH, July 8, 1832. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I had just left my father at the window that overlooks the Forth, + watching my poor mother's ship sailing away to England, when I + received your letter; and it is impossible to imagine a sorer, + sadder heart than that with which I greeted it.... Thank you for + the pains you are taking about your picture for me; crammed with + occupation as my time is here, I would have done the same for you, + but that I think in Lawrence's print you have the best and likest + thing you can have of me.... I cannot tell you at what hour we + shall reach Liverpool, but it will be very early on Monday + morning.... I am glad you have not deferred sitting for your + picture till you came to Liverpool, for it would have encroached + much upon our time together. I remember when I returned from + abroad, a school-girl, I thought I had forgotten my mother's face. + This copy of yours will save me from that nonsensical morbid + feeling, and you will surely not forget mine.... You bid me, if + anything should go ill with me, summon you across the Atlantic. + Alas! dear H----, you forget that before a letter from that other + world can reach this, more than a month must have elapsed, and the + writer may no longer be in either. You say you hope I may return a + new being; and I have no doubt my health will be benefited, and my + spirits revived by change of external objects; but oh, how dreary + it all is now! You bid me cheer my father when my mother shall have + left us, without knowing that she is already gone. I make every + exertion that duty and affection can prompt; but, you know, it is + my nature rather to absorb the sorrow of others than to assist them + in throwing it off; and when one's own heart is all but frozen, one + knows not where to find warmth to impart to those who are shivering + with misery beside one.... I have left myself scarcely any room to + tell you of my present life. I work very hard, rehearsing every + morning and acting every night, and spending the intervening time + in long farewell rides round this most beautiful and beloved + Edinburgh. Mr. Combe says I am wearing myself out, body and mind; + but I am already looking better, and less thin, than when I left + London; and besides, I shall presently have a longer rest--holiday + I cannot call it--on board ship than I have had for the last three + years. We acted "Francis I." here last night, for the first time; + and I am sure that, mingled with the applause, I heard very + distinct hissing; whether addressed to the acting, which was some + of it execrable, or to the play itself, which I think quite + deserving of such a demonstration, I know not.... You know my + opinion of the piece; and as, with the exception of the two parts + of De Bourbon and the Friar, and not excepting my own, it really + was vilely acted, hissing did not appear to me an unnatural + proceeding, though perhaps, under the circumstances, not altogether + a courteous one on the part of the modern Athenians. I tell you + this, because what else have I to tell you, but that I am your ever + affectionate + + F. A. K. + + + _Tuesday, 10th._--At half-past twelve rode out with Liston and his + daughter, Mr. Murray, and Allen (since Sir William, the celebrated + artist, friend, and painter, of Walter Scott and his family).... In + the evening, at the theater, the house was very full, and I acted + very well, though I was so tired that I could hardly stand, and + every bone in my body ached with my hard morning's ride. While I + was sitting in the greenroom, Mr. Wilson came in, and it warmed my + heart to see a Covent Garden face. He tells me Laporte is giving + concerts in the poor old playhouse: well, good luck attend him, + poor man (though I know it won't, for "there's nae luck about that + house, there's nae luck at a'"). Walter Scott has reached + Edinburgh, and starts for Abbotsford to-morrow: I am glad he has + come back to die in his own country, in his own home, surrounded by + the familiar objects his eyes have loved to look upon, and by the + hearts of his countrymen, and the prayers, the blessings, the + gratitude, and the love they owe him. All Europe will mourn his + death; and for years to come every man born on this soil will be + proud, for his sake, to call himself a Scotchman. + + _Wednesday, 11th._-- ... At half-past twelve met Mr. Murray, Mr. + Allen, and Mr. Byrne.... As we started for our ride, and were + "cavalcading" leisurely along York Place, that most enchanting old + sweetheart of mine, Baron Hume, came out of a house. I rode toward + him, and he met me with his usual hearty, kind cordiality, and a + world of old-fashioned stately courtesy, ending our conference by + devoutly kissing the tip of my little finger, to the infinite + edification of my party, upon whose minds I duly impressed the vast + superiority of this respectful style of gallantry to the flippant, + easy familiarity of the present day. These old beaux beat the young + ones hollow in the theory of courtship, and it is only a pity that + their time for practice is over. Commend me to this bowing and + finger-kissing! it is at any rate more dignified than the nodding, + bobbing, and hand-shaking of the present fashion. The be-Madaming, + too, has in it something singularly pleasing to my taste; there's a + hoop and six yards of brocade in each of its two syllables.... At + the theater the play was "Francis I." I acted well, and the play + went off very well. Mr. Allen came and sat in the greenroom, + telling me all about Constantinople and the Crimea, and the + beautiful countries he has seen, and where his memory and his + wishes are forever wandering; a rather sad comment upon the perfect + vision of content his charming home at Laurieston had suggested to + me. + + _Thursday, 12th._-- ... At the theater the play was "The + Hunchback." The house was very good, and I acted very well. Dear + Mr. Allen came into the greenroom, and had a long gossip with me. + + _Friday, 13th._-- ... Went with Mr. Combe to the Phrenological + Museum, and spent two hours listening to some very interesting + details on the anatomy of the brain, which certainly tended to make + the science more credible to my ignorance, though the general + theory has never appeared to me as impossible and extravagant as + some people think it. The insuperable point where I stick fast is a + doubt of the practically beneficial result which its general + acceptance would produce. I think they overrate the reforming power + of their system, though Mr. Combe's account of the numbers who + attend his lectures, and of the improvement of their bodily and + mental conditions which he has himself witnessed, must, of course, + make me feel diffident of my own judgment in the matter. Their own + experience can alone test the utility of their system, and whether + it does or does not answer their expectations. I thought of Hamlet + as I sat on the ground, with my arms and lap full of skulls. It is + curious enough to grasp the empty, worthless, unsightly case in + which once dwelt the thinking faculty of a man. One of the best + specimens of the human skull, it seems, is Raphael's; a cast of + whose head I held lovingly in my hands, wishing it had been the + very house where once abode that spirit of immortal beauty. [The + phrenological authorities were mistaken, it seems, in attributing + this skull to Raphael. I believe that it has been ascertained to be + that of his friend, the engraver, Marc Antonio.] At the theater the + play was "The Hunchback;" the house very good, and I played very + well. + + _Saturday, 14th._--My last day in Edinburgh for two years; and who + can tell for how many more? At eleven o'clock, Mr. Murray, Mr. + Allen, Mr. Byrne, and myself sallied forth on horseback toward the + Pentlands, having obtained half an hour's grace off dinner-time, in + order to get to Habbies How. We went out by the Links, and up steep + rises over a white and dusty road, with a flaring stone dyke on + each side, and neither tree nor bush to shelter us from the + scorching sunlight till we came to Woodhouseleigh, the haunted walk + of a white specter, who, it seems, was fond of the shade, for her + favorite promenade was an avenue overarched with the green arms of + noble old elm trees; and we blessed the welcome shelter of the + Ghost's Haunt.... A cloud fell over all our spirits as we rode away + from this enchanting spot, and Mr. Murray, pointing to the sprig of + heather I had put in my habit, said they would establish an Order + of Knighthood, of which the badge should be a heather spray, and + they three the members, and I the patroness; that they would meet + and drink my health on the 14th of July, and on my birthday, every + year till I returned; and a solemn agreement was made by all + parties that whenever I did return and summoned my worthies, we + should again adjourn together to the glen in the Pentlands. When we + reached home, Mr. Allen, who cannot endure a formal parting, shook + hands with me and bade me good-by as I dismounted, as if we were to + ride again to-morrow. [And I never saw him again. Peace be with + him! He was a most amiable and charming companion, and during these + days of friendly intimacy, his conversation interested and + instructed me, and his poetical feeling of Nature, and placid, + unruffled serenity, added much to the pleasure of those delightful + rides.] ... At the theater the play was "The Provoked Husband," for + my benefit; the house was very fine, and I played pretty well. + After it was over, the audience shouted and clamored for my father, + who came and said a few words of our sorrow to leave their + beautiful city.... Mrs. Harry, Lizzie, and I were in my + dressing-room, crying in sad silence, and vainly endeavoring to + control our emotion. Presently my father came hurriedly in, and + folding them both in his arms, just uttered in a broken voice, + "Good-by! God bless you!" and I, embracing my dear friends for the + last time, followed him out of the room. It is not the time only + that must elapse before I can see her again, it is the terrible + distance, the slowness and uncertainty of communication; it is that + dreadful America. + + _Thursday, 19th, Liverpool._-- ... At eleven went to the theater + for rehearsal; it was very slovenly. I wonder what the performance + will be? In the evening to the theater; the play was "Francis I.," + and the house was very good, which was almost to be wondered at in + this plague-stricken city. [The cholera was raging in Liverpool.] I + was frightened, as I always am at a new part, even in my own play, + though glad enough to resign that odious dignity, the queen-mother. + [The part of Louisa of Savoy had been given to me when first the + piece was brought out at Covent Garden; I was now playing the + younger heroine, Françoise de Foix.] I played pretty well, though + there is nothing to be done with the part. She is perfectly + uninteresting and ineffective; but it is better for the cast of the + play that I should act her instead of Louisa. And when one can have + such a specimen of a queen as we had to-night, it would be a + thousand pities the audience should be put off with my inferior + views of royalty. Such bouncing, frowning, growling, and snarling + might have challenged a whole zoological garden full of wild beasts + to surpass. It's a comfort to see that it is possible to play that + part worse than I did. + + _Friday, 20th._--Went to rehearsal.... Received a letter from + Lizzie, giving me an account of my dear old Newhaven fish-wife, + poor body! to whom I had sent a farewell present by her. I received + also a long copy of anonymous verses, in which I was rather + pathetically remonstrated with for seeking fame and fortune out of + my own country. The author is slightly mistaken; neither the love + of money nor notoriety would carry me away from England, but the + love of my father constrains me.... The American Consul and Mr. + Arnold called. After dinner I read Combe's "Constitution of Man," + which interested me very much, though it fails to convince me that + phrenology can alone bestow this insight into human nature. At the + theater "The School for Scandal;" I played pretty well, though the + actors were all dreadfully imperfect, and some of them so nervous + and quick, and some so nervous and slow, that it was hardly + possible to keep pace with them. + + _Saturday, 21st._--From Liverpool to Manchester. After all, this + Liverpool, with all its important wealth and industry, is a + dismal-looking place, a swarming world of dingy red houses and + dirty streets.... How well I remember the opening of this + railway!... They have placed a marble tablet in the side of the + road to commemorate the spot where poor Huskisson fell; I + remembered it by the pools of dark-green water that, as we passed + them then, made a dismal impression on me; they looked like stony + basins of verdigris. How glad I was to see Chatmoss--that + villainous, treacherous, ugly, useless bog--trenched and ditched in + process of draining and reclaiming, with the fair, holy, healthy + grain waving in bright green patches over the brown peaty soil! + Next to moral conversion, and the reclaiming to their noble uses + the perverted powers of human nature, there is nothing does one's + heart so much good as the sight of waste and barren land reclaimed + to the uses and wants of man; to see vegetation clothe the idle + space, and the cursed and profitless soil teeming with the means of + life and bringing forth abundant produce to requite the toil that + fertilized it; to see the wilderness crowned with bounteous + increase, and the blessing of God rising from the earth to reward + the labor of His creatures. It forcibly reminds one of all that is + left undone, and might be done, with that far more precious waste + land, those multitudes of our ignorant poor, whose minds and + spirits are as dark, as profitless, as barren, as dreary, and as + dangerous, as this wild bog was formerly, and who were never + ordained to live and die like so many human morasses.... In the + evening to the theater, which was crammed from the floor to the + ceiling; they are a pleasant audience, too, and make a delightful + quantity of sympathetic noise. I did not play well, which was a + pity and a shame, because they really deserved that one should do + so; but my coadjutors were too much for me. + + _Sunday, 22d, Liverpool._--I did not think there was such another + day in store for me as this. I thought all was past and over, and + had forgotten the last drop in the bitter cup.... The day was + bitter cold, and we were obliged to have a fire. + + + LIVERPOOL, July 22. + MY DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I fear you are either anxious or vexed, or perhaps both, about the + arrival of your books, and my non-acknowledgment of them. They + reached me in all safety, and but for the many occupations which + swallow up my time would have been duly receipted ere this. Thank + you very much for them, for they are very elegant outside, and the + dedication page, with which I should have been most ungracious to + find any fault. The little sketch on that leaf differs from the + design you had described to me some time ago, and I felt the full + meaning of the difference. I read through your preface all in a + breath; there are many parts of it which have often been matters of + discussion between us, and I believe you know how cordially I + coincide with most of the views expressed in it. The only point in + your preliminary chapter on which I do not agree with you is the + passage in which you say that humor is, of necessity and in its + very essence, vulgar. I differ entirely with you here. I think + humor is very often closely allied to poetry; not only a large + element in highly poetic minds, which surely refutes your position, + but kindred to the highest and deepest order of imagination, and + frequently eminently fanciful and graceful in its peculiar + manifestations. However, I cannot now make leisure to write about + this, but while I read it I scored the passage as one from which I + dissented. That, however, of course does not establish its fallacy; + but I think, had I time, I could convince you of it. I acted Juliet + on Wednesday, and read your analysis of it before doing so. Oh, + could you but have seen and heard my Romeo!... I am sure it is just + as well that an actress on the English stage at the present day + should not have too distinct a vision of the beings Shakespeare + intended to realize, or she might be induced, like the unfortunate + heroine of the song, to "hang herself in her garters." To be sure + there is always my expedient to resort to, of acting to a wooden + vase; you know I had one put upon my balcony, in "Romeo and + Juliet," at Covent Garden, to assist Mr. Abbott in drawing forth + the expression of my sentiments. I have been reading over Portia + to-day; she is still my dream of ladies, my pearl of womanhood.... + I must close this letter, for I have many more to write to-night, + and it is already late. Once more, thank you very much for your + book, and believe me, + + Ever yours very truly, + F. A. K. + + + _August 1st._--Sailed for America. + +The book referred to in this letter was Mrs. Jameson's "Analysis of +Shakespeare's Female Characters," which she very kindly dedicated to me. +The etching in the title-page was changed from the one she at first +intended to have put in it, and represented a female figure in an +attitude of despondency, sitting by the sea, and watching a ship sailing +toward the setting sun; a design which I know she meant to have +reference to my departure. I believe she subsequently changed it again +to the one she had first executed, and which was of a less personal +significance.... I exchanged no more letters with my friend Miss S----, +who joined me at Liverpool, and remained with me till I sailed for +America.... "A trip," as it is now called, to Europe or America, is one +of the commonest of experiences, involving, apparently, so little +danger, difficulty, or delay, that the feelings with which I made my +first voyage across the Atlantic must seem almost incomprehensible to +the pleasure-seeking or business-absorbed crowds who throng the great +watery highway between the two continents. + +But when I first went to America, steam had not shortened the passage of +that formidable barrier between world and world. A month, and not a +week, was the shortest and most favorable voyage that could be looked +for. Few men, and hardly any women, undertook it as a mere matter of +pleasure or curiosity; and though affairs of importance, of course, drew +people from one shore to the other, and the stream of emigration had +already set steadily westward, American and European tourists had not +begun to cross each other by thousands on the high seas in search of +health or amusement. + +I was leaving my mother, my brothers and sister, my friends and my +country, for two years, and could only hear from them at monthly +intervals. I was going to work very hard, in a distasteful vocation, +among strangers, from whom I had no right to expect the invariable +kindness and indulgence my own people had favored me with. My spirits +were depressed by my father's troubled fortunes, and I had just received +the first sharp, smarting strokes in the battle of life; those gashes +from which poor "unbruised youth," in its infinite self-compassion, +fancies its very life-blood must all pour away; little imagining under +what gangrened, festering wounds brave life will still hold on its way, +and urge to the hopeless end its warfare with unconquerable sorrow. +There is nothing more pathetic than the terrified impatience of youth +under its first experience of grief, and its vehement appeal of "Behold, +and see if any sorrow be like unto my sorrow!" to the patient adepts in +suffering such as it has not yet begun to conceive of. Orlando's +adjuration to the exiled duke in "As You Like It," and the wise Prince's +reply, seem to me one of the most exquisite illustrations of the +comparative griefs of youth and age. + + OFF SANDY HOOK, Monday, September 5. + MY DEAREST H----, + + We are within three hours' sail of New York, having greeted the + first corner of Long Island (the first land we saw) yesterday + morning; but we are becalmed, and the sun shines so bright, and the + air is so warm and breathless, that we seem to have every chance of + lying here for the next--Heaven knows how long! In point of time, + you see, our voyage has been very prosperous, and I am surprised + that we have made such good progress, for the weather has been + squally, with constant head-winds. I do not think we have had, in + all, six days of fair wind, so that we have no reason whatever to + complain of our advance, having come thus far in thirty-two days. + You bade me write to you by ships passing us, but though we have + encountered several bound eastward, we only hailed them without + lying to; notwithstanding which, about a fortnight ago, on hearing + that a vessel was about to pass us, I wrote you a scrawl, which + none but you could have made out (so the fishes won't profit much + by it), and a kind fellow-passenger undertook to throw it from our + ship to the other as it passed us. She came alongside very rapidly, + and though he flung with great force and good aim, the distance was + too great, and my poor little missive fell into the black sea + within twenty feet of its destination. I could not help crying to + think that those words from my heart, that would have gladdened + yours, should go down into that cold, inky water.... I pray to God + that we may return to England, but I am possessed with a dread that + I never shall.... + + I have been called away from this letter by one of those little + incidents which Heaven in its mercy sends to break the monotony of + a sea-voyage. Ever since daybreak this morning an English brig has + been standing at a considerable distance behind us. About an hour + ago we went on deck to watch the approach of a boat which they were + sending off in our direction. The distance was about five miles, + and the men had a hard pull in the broiling heat. When they came on + board, you should have seen how we all clustered about them. The + ship was a merchantman from Bristol, bound to New York; she had + been out eleven weeks, her provisions were beginning to run short, + and the crew was on allowance. Our captain, who is a gentleman, + furnished them with flour, tea, sugar, porter, cold tongue, ham, + eggs, etc., etc. The men remained about half an hour on board, and + as they were remanning their boat we saw a whole cargo of eatables + carried to it from our steerage passengers. You know that these are + always poor people, who are often barely supplied themselves with + necessaries for their voyage. The poor are almost invariably kind + and compassionate to one another, and Gaffer Gray is half right + when he says-- + + "The poor man alone, + When he hears the poor moan, + Of his morsel one morsel will give." + + They (the men from the brig) gave us news from Halifax, where they + had put in. The cholera had been in Boston, Philadelphia, + Baltimore, and New York; the latter town was almost deserted, and + the people flying in numbers from the others. This was rather bad + news to us, who were going thither to find audiences (if possible + not few, whether fit or not), but it was awful to such as were + going back to their homes and families. I looked at the anxious + faces gathered round our informer, and thought how the poor hearts + were flying, in terrible anticipation of the worst, to the nests + where they had left their dear ones, and eagerly counting every + precious head in the homes over which so black a cloud of doom had + gathered in their absence.... My father, though a bad sailor, and + suffering occasionally a good deal, has, upon the whole, borne the + voyage well. Poor dear Dall has been the greatest wretch on board; + she has been perfectly miserable the whole time. It has made me + very unhappy, for she has come away from those she loves very + dearly on my account, and I cannot but feel sad to see that most + excellent creature now, in what should be the quiet time of her + life, leaving home and all its accustomed ways, habits, and + comforts, and dear A----, who is her darling, to come wandering to + the ends of the earth after me.... These distant and prolonged + separations seem like foretastes of death.... We have seen an + American sun, and an American moon, and American stars, and we + think they "get up these things better than we do." We have had + several fresh squalls, and one heavy gale; we have shipped sundry + seas; we have had rat-hunting and harpooning of porpoises; we have + caught several hake and dogfish. + + NEW YORK, AMERICA, Wednesday, September 5, 1832. + + Here we really are, and perhaps you, who are not here, will believe + it more readily than I who am, and to whom it seems an impossible + kind of dream from which I must surely presently wake. We made New + York harbor Monday night at sunset, and cast anchor at twelve + o'clock off Staten Island, where we lay till yesterday morning at + half-past nine, when a steamboat came alongside to take the + passengers to shore. A thick fog covered the shores, and the rain + poured in torrents; but had the weather been more favorable, I + should have seen nothing of our approach to the city, for I was + crying bitterly. The town, as we drove through it from the landing, + struck me as foreign in its appearance--continental, I mean; trees + are mixed very prettily with the houses, which are painted of + various colors, and have green blinds on the outside, giving an + idea of coolness and shade. + + The sunshine is glorious, and the air soft and temperate; our hotel + is pleasantly situated, and our rooms are gay and large. The town, + as I see it from our windows, reminds me a little of Paris. + Yesterday evening the trees and lighted shop-windows and brilliant + moonlight were like a suggestion of the Boulevards; it is very gay, + and rather like a fair. + + The cholera has been very bad, but it is subsiding, and the people + are returning to town. We shall begin our work in about ten days. I + have not told you half I could say, but foolscap will contain no + more. God bless you, dear! + + Affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + +The foreboding with which I left my own country was justified by the +event. My dear aunt died, and I married, in America; and neither of us +ever had a home again in England. + + NEW YORK, September 16, 1832. + MY DEAREST H----, + + What shall I say to you? First of all, pray don't forget me, don't + be altered when I see you again, don't die before I come back, + don't die if I never come back.... You cannot imagine how strange + the comparisons people here are perpetually making between this + wonderful sapling of theirs and our old oak seem to me.... My + father, thank God, is wonderfully improved in health, looks, and + spirits; the fine, clear, warm (hot it should be called) atmosphere + agrees with him, and the release from the cares and anxieties of + that troublesome estate of his in St. Giles' will, I am sure, be of + the greatest service to him. He begins his work to-morrow night + with Hamlet, and on Tuesday I act Bianca. It is thought expedient + that we should act singly the two first nights, and then make a + "constellation." Dall is in despair because I am to be discovered + instead of coming on (a thing actors deprecate, because they do not + receive their salvo of entrance applause), and also because I am + not seen at first in what she thinks a becoming dress. For my part, + I am rather glad of this decision, for besides Bianca's being one + of my best parts, the play, as the faculty have mangled it, is such + a complete monologue that I am less at the mercy of my coadjutors + than in any other piece I play in.... + + Dall is very well, very hot, and very mosquito-bitten. The heat + seems to me almost intolerable, though it is here considered mild + autumn weather: the mornings and evenings are, it is true, + generally freshened with a cool delicious air, which is at this + moment blowing all my pens and paper away, and compensating us for + our midday's broiling. I do nothing but drink iced lemonade, and + eat peaches and sliced melon, in spite of the cholera. + + Baths are a much cheaper and commoner luxury (necessary) in the + hotels here than with us; a great satisfaction to me, who hope in + heaven, if I ever get there, to have plenty of water to wash in, + and, of course, it will all be soft rainwater there. What a + blessing! On board ship we were not stinted in that respect, but + had as much water as we desired for external as well as internal + purposes. + + There are no water-pipes or cisterns in this city such as we have, + but men go about as they do in Paris, with huge water-butts, + supplying each house daily; for although a broad river (so called) + runs on each side of this water-walled city, the one--the East + River--is merely an arm of the sea; and the Hudson receives the + salt tide-water, and is rendered brackish and unfit for washing or + cooking purposes far beyond the city. There are fine springs, and a + full fresh-water stream, at a distance of some miles; but the + municipality is not very rich, and is economical and careful of the + public money, and many improvements which might have been expected + to have been effected here long ago are halting in their advance, + leaving New York ill paved, ill lighted, and indifferently supplied + with a good many necessaries and luxuries of modern civilization. + +[This was fifty-six years ago. Times are altered since this letter was +written. New York is neither ill paved nor ill lighted; the municipality +is rich, but neither economical, careful, nor honest, in dealing with +the public moneys. The rapid spread of superficial civilization and +accumulation of easily-got wealth, together with incessant communication +with Europe, have made of the great cities of the New World, centres of +an imperfect but extreme luxury, vying with, and in some respects going +beyond, all that London or Paris presents for the indulgence of tastes +pampered by the oldest civilization of Europe. + +One day, after the Croton water had been brought into New York, I was +sitting with the venerable Chancellor Kent at the window of his house in +Union Square, and, pointing to the fountain that sprang up in the midst +of the inclosure, he said, "When I was a boy, much more than half a +century ago, I used to go to the Croton water, and paddle, and fish, and +bathe, and swim, and loiter my time away in the summer days. I cannot go +out there any more for any of these pleasant purposes, but the Croton +water has come here to me." What a ballad Schiller or Goethe would have +made of that! That morning visit to Chancellor Kent has left that pretty +picture in my mind, and the recollection of his last words as he shook +hands with me: "Ay, madam, the secret of life is always to have +excitement enough, and never too much." But he did not give me the +secret of that secret.] + + There are, on an average, half a dozen fires in various parts of + the town every night--I mean houses on fire. The sons of all the + gentlemen here are volunteer engineers and firemen, and great is + the delight they take in tearing up and down the streets, + accompanied by red lights, speaking trumpets, and a rushing, + roaring escort of running amateur extinguishers, who make night + hideous with their bawling and bellowing. This evening as I was + observing that we had had no fire to-day, Dall said the weather was + so hot, she thought they must have left off fires for the season. + + Speaking of carriages and the devices on the panels of them here, + which appear to be rather fancy pieces than heraldic bearings, my + father said, "I wonder what they do for arms." "Use legs," said + Dall immediately, not at all bethinking herself how ancient a + device on the shield of the Island of Man the three legs were, or + knowing how much more ancient on the coins of Crotona, I think, or + some other of the Magna Grecian colonies. + + The hours which prevail here are those of our shop-keeping + population; they rise and go to business very early, dine at three, + which indeed is considered late, take tea at five, and supper at + nine, which seems to us very primitive.... The women here are, + generally speaking, very pretty little creatures, with a great deal + of freshness and brilliancy; they dress in the extreme of the + French fashion, and, I suppose from some unfavorable influence of + the climate, they lose their beauty prematurely--they become + full-blown very early, and their bloom is extremely evanescent; + they fade almost suddenly.... There seems to be a great deal of + consumption here. The climate is as capricious as ours, with this + additional disadvantage, that the extremes of heat and cold are + much more intense, and the transitions much more violent, the + temperature varying occasionally as much as thirty degrees in the + twenty-four hours. I have just left off writing for five minutes to + watch the lightning, which is dancing in a fiery ring all round the + horizon--summer lightning, no thunder, although the flashes are + strong and vivid.... + + We have had such a tremendous storm--really gorgeous, grand, and + awful; lightning that stretched from side to side of the sky, + making a blaze like daylight for several seconds at a time. The + mere reflection of it on the ground was more than the eye could + endure; great forked ribbons of fire darting into the very bosom of + the city and its crowded dwellings, or zigzagging through the air + to an accompaniment of short, sharp, crackling thunder, succeeded + by endless, deep, full-toned rolls that made the whole air shake + and vibrate with the heavy concussion; pelting and pouring rain, a + perfect tornado of wind. Heaven and earth are all, while I write, + one livid, violet-colored flame, and the thunder resounds through + the wild frenzy of the elements like the voice of "the Ruler of the + spirits." My eyes ache with the incessant glare, and I must close + my letter, for it is past eleven o'clock, and I have to rehearse + to-morrow morning.... I have seen Mr. Wallack since our arrival, + whom I never saw in England, either on or off the stage. I went the + other night to see him in one of his favorite pieces, "The + Rent-Day," which made me cry dreadfully, but chiefly, I believe, + because, when they are ruined, he asks his wife if she will go with + him to America. You see I am taking to play-going in my old age. + The theater is very pretty, of the best possible dimensions for me, + and tolerably good for the voice. We leave this place for + Philadelphia on the 10th of October, and remain there a fortnight, + and then go on to Boston.... + + Last Thursday we crossed the Hudson in one of the steamers + constantly plying between the opposite shores and New York, and + took a delightful walk along the New Jersey shore to a place called + Hoboken, famous once as a dueling-ground, now the favorite resort + of a pacific society of _bon vivants_, who meet once a week to eat + turtle, or, as it is expressed on their cards of invitation, for + "spoon exercise." The distance from our landing-point to the place + where these meetings are held is about five miles, a charming walk + through a strip of forest-ground, which crowns the banks of the + river, gradually rising to a considerable height above it. We were + delighted with the vivid, various, and strange foliage of the + trees, the magnificent river, broad and blue as a lake, with its + high and richly wooded shore, and the sparkling, glittering town + opposite. We looked down to the Narrows, the defile through which + the waters of this noble estuary reach the Atlantic, and between + whose rocky walls two or three ships stood out against the + brilliant sky. The ebbing tide plashed on the rocks far below us, + and the warm grass through which we walked was alive with + grasshoppers, whose scarlet wings, suddenly unfolded when they + flew, made me take them for some strange species of butterfly. It + was all indescribably bright and joyous-looking, and the air of a + transparent clearness that was one of the most striking + characteristics of the whole scene, and one of the most + delightful.... [In discussing the relative merits of England and + America, Dr. Channing once said to me, "The earth is yours, but the + heavens are ours;" and I quite agree with him. I have never seen a + sky comparable, for splendor of color or translucent purity, to + that of the Northern States.] + + I have been reading your favorite book, "Salmonia." ... I am rather + surprised at your liking it so very much, because, though the + descriptions are beautiful, and the natural history interesting, + and the philosophical and moral reflections scattered through it + delightful, yet there is so much that is purely technical about + fishing and its processes, and addressed only to the hook-and-line + fraternity, that I should not have thought it calculated to charm + you so greatly. However, you may have some associations connected + with it; liking is a very complex and many-motived thing.... + + We went through the fish and fruit markets the other day; + unfortunately it was rather late in the morning, and of course the + glory of the market was over, but yet there remained enough to + enchant us, with their abundant plenteousness of good things. The + fruit-market was beautiful; fruit-baskets half as high as I am, + placed in rows of a dozen, filled with peaches, and painted of a + bright vermilion color, which throws a ruddy becoming tint over the + downy fruit. It looked like something in the "Arabian Nights;" + heaps, literally heaps of melons, apples, pears, and wild grapes, + in the greatest profusion. I was enchanted with the beautiful + forms, bright colors, and fragrant smell, but I saw no flowers, and + I have seen hardly any since I have been here, which is rather a + grief to me.... + + Americans are the most extravagant people in the world, and flowers + are among them objects of the most lavish expenditure. The prices + paid for nosegays, wreaths, baskets, and devices of every sort of + hot-house plants, are incredible to any reasonable mind. At parties + and balls ladies are laden with costly nosegays which will not even + survive the evening's fatigue of carrying them. Dinner and luncheon + parties are adorned, not only with masses of exquisite bloom as + table ornaments, but by every lady's plate a magnificent nosegay of + hot-house flowers is placed; and I knew a lady who, wishing to + adorn her ballroom with rather more than usual floral magnificence, + had it hung round with garlands of white camellias and myosotis. + + At the theater enormously expensive nosegays and huge baskets of + forced flowers are handed to the favorite performers from the front + of the house, till the ceremony becomes embarrassing, and almost + ridiculous for the object of the demonstration. The churches at + certain festivals are hung with draperies of costly hot-house + flowers; the communion-tables heaped with them. Weddings, of + course, are natural occasions for that species of ornament, but in + America funerals are as flowery as marriage-feasts; and I have seen + there in mid-winter, with the thermometer at fifteen degrees below + zero, large crosses, and hearts, and wreaths, made entirely of + rosebuds and lilies of the valley, as part of the solemnities of a + burial service; and a young girl who died in the flowerless season + was not only shrouded in blossoms, but as her coffin was carried to + the bosom of the wintry earth, a white pall of the finest material + was thrown over it, with a great cross of double forced violets, + almost the length of the coffin, laid on it. I have had as many as + a dozen huge baskets of camellias, violets, orange-flower, and + tuberose, at one time, in my room; perishable tokens of anonymous + public and private favor, the cost of which used to fill me with + dismay: and on one occasion a table of magnificent hot-house + flowers was sent to me, of such dimensions that both sides of the + street door had to be opened to admit it. When I have deplored the + inordinate amount of money lavished upon that which could only + impart pleasure for so brief a time, I have been answered, but not + converted from my feeling of disapprobation and regret, that the + gardeners profited by this wild extravagance. In New York I have + known a guinea paid for a gentleman's button-hole rosebud, and + three guineas for half a dozen sprays of lily of the valley. + + Good-by, my dearest H----. I pray for you morning and night. Is not + that thinking of you, and loving you as best I can? + + Your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + DEAREST H----, + + ... We are all pretty well, but all but devoured by multitudinous + and multivarious beasts of prey--birds, I suppose they are: + mosquitoes, ants, and flies, by day; and flies, fleas, and worse, + by night. The plagues of Egypt were a joke to it. We spend our + lives in murdering hecatombs of creeping and jumping things, and + vehemently slapping our own faces with intent to kill the flying + ones that incessantly buzz about one. It is rather a deplorable + existence, and reminds me of one of the most unpleasant circles in + Dante's "Hell," which I don't think could have been much worse. My + father began his work on Monday last with Hamlet. Dall and I went + into a private box to see him; he acted admirably, and looked + wonderfully young and handsome. The house was crammed, and the + audience, we were assured, was enthusiastic beyond all precedent. + + On Tuesday I came out in Bianca; I was rather glad they had + appointed that part for my first, because it is one of my best; but + had not the genius of theatrical management made such a mere + monologue of the play as it has, I verily believe I should have + been "swamped" by my helpmate. My Fazio was an unhappy man who + played Romeo once with me in London, and failed utterly: moreover, + he had studied this part in a hurry, it seems, and did not know + three words of it, and was, besides, too frightened to profit by my + prompting. The only thing that seemed to occur to him was to go + down on his knees, which he did every five minutes. Once when I was + on mine, he dropped down suddenly exactly opposite to me, and there + we were, looking for all the world like one of those pious conjugal + _vis-à-vis_ that adorn antique tombs in our cathedrals. It really + was exceedingly absurd. But I looked and acted well, and the play + was very successful.... I was not nervous for my first night, till + my unhappy partner made me so. My dislike to the stage would really + render me indifferent to my own success, but that I am working for + my livelihood; my bread depends upon success, and that is a + realistic, if not an artistic, view of the case, of which I + acknowledge the importance.... + + Absolute and uncompromising vulgarity is really not very + objectionable; it is rather refreshing, indeed, for it is simple, + and, in that respect, rare. Vulgarity allied to pretension and the + affectation of fine manners is the only real vulgarity, and is an + intolerable thing. The plain rusticity, or even coarseness, of what + are called the lower classes, is infinitely preferable to the + assumption of _gentility_ of those a little above them in the + social scale. The artisan, or day-laborer, or common workman, is + apt to be a gentleman, compared with a certain well-to-do small + shopkeeper.... + + On Thursday, when I went to rehearse "Romeo and Juliet," I found + that the unfortunate Mr. Keppel was, by general desire, taken out + of Romeo, which my father was therefore called upon, for the first + time, to act with me. I was vexed at this every way. I was sorry + for the poor player, whose part, of course, was money to him; and + sorry for my father, who has the greatest objection to playing + Romeo, for which his age, of course, disqualifies him, however much + his excellent acting may tend to make one forget it; and I was + sorry for the public, who lost his admirable Mercutio, which I do + not think they were compensated for by his taking the other + part.... + + The steward of our ship, a black--a very intelligent, obliging, + respectable servant--came here the other morning to ask my father + for an order, at the same time adding that it must be for the + gallery, as people of color were not allowed to go into any other + part of the theater. Qu'en dis-tu? The prejudice against these + unfortunate people is, of course, incomprehensible to us. On board + ship, after giving that same man some trouble, Dall poured him out + a glass of wine, when we were having our dinner, whereupon the + captain looked at her with utter amazement, and I thought some + little contempt, and said, "Ah! one can tell by that that you are + not an American;" which sort of thing makes one feel rather glad + that one is not. + +[This was in 1832, when slavery literally governed the United States. In +1874, when the Civil War had washed out slavery with the blood of free +men, the prejudice engendered by it governed them still to the following +degree. Going to the theater in Philadelphia one night, I desired my +servant, a perfectly respectable and decorous colored man, to go into +the house and see the performance. This, however, he did not succeed in +doing, being informed at all the entrance doors that persons of color +were not admitted to any part of the theater. At this same time, more +than half the State legislature of South Carolina were blacks. Moreover, +at this same time, colored children were not received into the public +schools of Philadelphia, though colored citizens were eligible, and in +some cases acted as members of the board of management of these very +schools. I talked of this outrageous inconsistent prejudice with some of +my friends; among others, the editor of a popular paper. They were all +loud in their condemnation of the state of things, but strongly of +opinion that to move at all in the matter would be highly inopportune +and injudicious. Time, they said, would settle all these questions; and, +without doubt, it will. Charles Sumner, who thought Time could afford to +have his elbow jogged about them, had just gone to his grave, leaving, +unfortunately, incomplete his bill of rights in behalf of the colored +citizens of the United States. + +My servant was a citizen of the United States, having a vote, when he +was turned from the theater door as a person of color; and negroes had +been elected as Members of Congress at that very time. Strangely enough, +Philadelphia, once the seat of enthusiastic and self-devoted Quaker +abolitionism, the home of that noble and admirable woman, Lucretia Mott, +who stood heroically in its vanguard, is now one of the strongholds of +the most illiberal prejudice against the blacks.] + + On Friday we acted "The School for Scandal." Our houses have been + very fine indeed, in spite of the intolerable heat of the + weather.... My ill-starred Fazio of Thursday night is making a + terrible stir in the papers, appealing to the public, and writing + long letters about his having merely studied the part to + accommodate me. "Hard case--unjust partiality--superior influence," + etc., etc.--in short, an attempt at a little cabal, the effect of + which is that he has obtained leave to appear again to-morrow night + in Jaffier to my Belvidera. The poor man is under a strong mental + delusion, he cannot act in the least; however, we shall see what he + will do with "Venice Preserved." ... + + Yesterday evening we dined with some English people who are staying + in this hotel, and met Dr. Wainwright, rector of the most + "fashionable" church in New York; a very agreeable, good, and + clever man, who expressed great delight at having an opportunity of + meeting us in private, as his congregation are so strait-laced that + he can neither call upon us nor invite us to his house, much less + set his foot in the theater. The probable consequence of any of + these enormities, it seems, would be deserted pews next Sunday, and + perhaps eventually the forced resignation of his cure of souls. + This is rather narrow minded, I think, for this free and + enlightened country. Think of my mother's dear old friend, Dr. + Hughes, and Milman, and Harness, and Dyce, and all our excellent + reverend friends and intimate acquaintance.... + + To-morrow we act "Venice Preserved," on Tuesday "Much Ado about + Nothing," Wednesday is a holiday, on Thursday, for my benefit, "The + Stranger," and on Friday "The Hunchback." On the 10th of next month + we act in Philadelphia, where we shall remain for a fortnight, and + then return here for a fortnight, after which we go on to Boston. + God bless you, dear! It is past twelve at night, and I have a + ten-o'clock rehearsal to-morrow morning. + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + PART OF LETTER TO MRS. JAMESON. + + NEW YORK, September 30, 1832. + + I am not sure that, upon the whole, our acting is not rather too + quiet--tame, I suppose they would call it--for our present public. + Ranting and raving in tragedy, and shrieks of unmeaning laughter in + comedy, are not, you know, precisely our style, and I am afraid our + audiences here may think us flat. I was informed by a friend of + mine who heard the remark, that one gentleman observed to another, + after seeing my father in "Venice Preserved," "Lord bless you! it's + nothing to Cooper's acting--nothing! Why, I've seen the + perspiration roll down his face like water when he played Pierre! + You didn't see Mr. Kemble put himself to half such pains!" Which + reminds me of the Frenchwoman's commendation to her neighbor of a + performance of Dupré, the great Paris tenor of his day: "Ah! ce + pauvre cher M. Dupré! ce brave homme! quel mal il se donne pour + chanter cela! Regardez donc, madame, il est tout en sueur!" But + this order of criticism, of course, may be met with anywhere; and + the stamp-and-stare-and-start-and-scream-school has had its + admirers all the world over since the days of Hamlet the Dane. + + I have not seen much of either places or people yet.... This city + is picturesque and foreign-looking; trees are much intermixed with + the houses, among them a great many fine willows, and these, + together with the various colors of the houses, and the + irregularity of the streets and buildings, form constantly "little + bits" that would gladden the eye of a painter. The sky here is + beautiful; I find in it what you have seen in Italy, and I only in + Angerstein's Gallery, the orange sunsets of Claude Lorraine. + + We leave New York for Philadelphia after next week, and shall + remain there three weeks. + + I have read and noted much of your pretty book. There are one or + two points which shall "serve for sweet discourses" in our time to + come. I find great satisfaction in our discussions, for though I + may not often confess to being convinced by your arguments in our + differences (does any one ever do so?), I derive so much + information from them, that they are as profitable as pleasant to + me. Are you going to be busy with your pen soon again? Write me how + the world is going on yonder, and believe me ever truly yours, + + F. A. K. + + + NEW YORK, September 30, 1832. + + DEAREST H----, + + ... Perhaps, as you say, it is morbid to dwell as I do upon the + unreality of acting, because its tangible reality makes its + appearance duly every morning with the "returns" of the preceding + night; but I am not sure that it is morbid to consider wants + exaggerated and necessities unreal which render insufficient + earnings that would be ample for any one's real need. A livelihood, + of course, we could make in England.... You speak of all the + various strange things I am to see, and the amount of knowledge I + shall involuntarily acquire, by this residence in America; but you + know I am what Dr. Johnson would have considered disgracefully + "incurious," and the lazy intellectual indifference which induced + me to live in London by the very spring of the fountain of + knowledge without so much as stooping my lips to it, prevails with + me here. + +[Our house in Great Russell Street, which was the last at the corner of +Montague Place, adjoined the British Museum, and has since been taken +into, or removed for (I don't know which), the new buildings of that +institution. Our friend Panizzi, the learned librarian, lived in the +house that stood where ours, formerly my uncle's, did. While we were +still living there, however, I was allowed a privileged entrance at all +times to the library, and am ashamed to think how seldom I availed +myself of so great a favor.] + + Then, too, my profession occupies nearly the whole of my time; I + have rehearsals every day, and act four times a week; my + journalizing takes up a good deal of my leisure. Walking in the + heat we still have here fatigues me and hurts my feet very much, + especially when I have to stand at the theater all the evening. + Although I have been here a month, I have seen but little either of + places or people; the latter, you know, I nowhere affect, and my + distaste for the society of strangers must, of course, interfere + with my deriving information from them. Still, as you say, I must + inevitably see and learn much that is new to me, and I take + pleasure in the hope that when I return to you I shall be less + distressingly ignorant than you must often have found me.... + + I am very sorry my brother Henry and his men are going to be sent + upon so odious an errand as tithe-collecting must be in Ireland. I + trust in God he may meet with no mischief while fulfilling his + duty; I should be both to think of that comely-looking young thing + bruised or broken, maimed or murdered. I hardly think your savage + Irishers would have the heart to hurt him, he looks so like, what + indeed he is, a mere boy; but then, to be sure, his errand is not + one to recommend him to their mercy. + + I have read Bryant's poetry, and like it very much. The general + spirit of it is admirable; it is all wholesome poetry, and some of + it is very beautiful. + + I am going to get Graham's "History of the United States," and + Smith's "History of Virginia," to beguile my journey to + Philadelphia with. I can't fancy a savage woman marrying a + civilized man.... I suppose love might bring harmony out of the + discords of natures so dissimilar, but I think if I had been a wild + she-American, I should not have been tamed by one of the invading + race, my hunters. Pocahontas thought differently.... + + Are you acquainted with any of Daniel Webster's speeches? They are + very fine, eloquent, and powerful; and one that he delivered upon + the commemoration of the landing of the English exiles at Plymouth, + in many parts, magnificent. I was profoundly affected by it when my + father read it to us on board ship.... + + Bad as your mice, of which you complain so bitterly, may be, they + are civilized Christian creatures compared with the heathen swarms + with which we wage war incessantly here. Every evening, as soon as + the sun sets, clouds of mosquitoes begin their war-dance round us; + their sting is most venomous, and as my patience is not even + skin-deep, I tear myself like a maniac, and then, instead of oil, + pour aromatic vinegar into my wounds, and a very pretty species of + torture is produced by that means, I assure you. Besides these + winged devils, we have swarms of flies, which also bite and sting, + with a venomous rancor of which I should have thought their + frivolity incapable. Besides these, every cupboard and drawer in + our rooms is full of moths. Besides these, we have an army of + cantankerous fleas quartered upon us. Besides these, we have one + particular closet where we keep--our bugs, and where for the most + part, I am truly thankful to say, they keep themselves. Besides + these, we have two or three ants' nests in our bedroom, and + everything we look upon seems but a moving mass of these red, + long-legged, but always exemplary insects. These fellow-creatures + make one's life not worth much having, and I do nothing all day + long but sing the famous entomological chorus in "Faust;" and if + this goes on much longer, I feel as if I should take to buzzing. Do + you know that it is hard upon three o'clock in the morning? I must + leave off and go to bed, for I rehearse Constance to-morrow at + eleven, and act her to-morrow night. On Friday I act Bizarre in + "The Inconstant," and think I shall find it great fun.... God bless + you, dearest H----. + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + MANSION HOUSE, PHILADELPHIA, October 10, 1832. + DEAREST H----, + + Do not let the date of this make any alteration in your way of + addressing your letters, which must still be "Park Theater, New + York;" for before this reaches you we shall probably have returned + thither; but I date particularly that you may follow us with your + mind's legs, and know where to find us. My dearest H----, in spite + of an often heavy heart, and my distaste for my present + surroundings, I have reason to be most grateful, and I trust I am + so, for the benefits which we have already derived from a visit to + this far world beyond the sea. The first and greatest of these is + the wonderful improvement in my dear father's health. He looks full + ten years younger than when last you saw him, and besides enjoying + better spirits from the absence of the many cares and anxieties and + vexations that weighed upon him daily in England, he says that he + is conscious since he came away of a great increase of absolute + muscular strength and vigor; and when he said this, I felt that my + share of the unpleasant duty of coming hither was already amply + repaid.... We have finished our first engagement at New York, which + was for twelve nights, and have every reason to be satisfied with + our financial, as well as professional, success. Living here is not + as cheap as we had been led to expect, but our earnings are very + considerable, and as we labor for these, it is matter of rejoicing + that we labor so satisfactorily. + + Dall is very well, except the nuisance of a bad cold. I am very + well, without exception. The only unpleasant effect I feel from + this climate is a constant tendency to slight relaxation of the + throat, but this is nothing more than a trifling inconvenience, + very endurable, and which probably a little more seasoning will + remove.... I tell you of our health first, for at our distance from + each other that is the matter of greatest moment and anxiety.... + + I must tell you of our future arrangements; and, to begin like an + Irishwoman, we arrived here on Monday. My father acts to-night for + the first time, Hamlet; and I make my first appearance to-morrow in + "Fazio." We shall act here for three weeks, and then return to New + York for a month; after which we shall proceed to Boston, whence + look to receive volumes from me about Webster, and Channing, and + our friends and fellow-passengers, the H----s, who reside there. + + I like this place better than New York; it has an air of greater + age. It has altogether a rather dull, sober, mellow hue, which is + more agreeable than the glaring newness of New York. There are one + or two fine public buildings, and the quantity of clean, + cool-looking white marble which they use both for their public + edifices and for the doorsteps of the private houses has a simple + and sumptuous appearance, which is pleasant. It is electioneering + time, and all last night the streets resounded with cheers and + shouts, and shone with bonfires. The present President, Jackson, + appears to be far from popular here, and though his own partisans + are determined, of course, to re-elect him if possible, a violent + struggle is likely to take place; and here already his opponent, + Henry Clay, who is the leader of the aristocratic party in the + United States, is said to have obtained the superiority over him. + + I have got Graham's and Smith's "Histories," and though my time for + reading is anything but abundant, yet every night and morning I do + contrive, while brushing the outside of my head, to cram something + into the inside of it. + + I cannot bear to give up any advantage which I once possessed, and + therefore struggle to keep up, in some degree, my music and + Italian. These, together with rehearsing every morning, and acting + four times a week, besides my journal, which I very seldom neglect, + make up a good deal of daily occupation. Then, one must sacrifice a + certain amount of time to the conventional waste of society, + receiving and returning visits, etc.... I like what I have read of + Graham very much; the matter is very interesting, and the spirit in + which it is treated; and I am deeply in love with Captain John + Smith, and wonder greatly at Pocahontas marrying anybody else. I + suppose, however, the savage was not without excuse; for Mary + Stuart, who knew something of these matters, says, with a rather + satirical glance at her cousin of England, "En ces sortes de + choses, la plus sage de nous toutes n'est qu'un peu moins sotte que + les autres." + + I have been to my first rehearsal here to-day; the theater is + small, but pretty enough. The public has high pretensions to + considerable critical judgment and literary and dramatic taste, and + scouts the idea of being led by the opinion of New York.... It is + rather tiresome that fools are cut upon the same pattern all the + world over. What is the profit of traveling? Oh dear! I think my + Fazio has got St. Vitus's dance!... + + Yesterday I tried some horses, which were rather terrible + quadrupeds. They were not ill-bred cattle to look at, and I should + think of a race that, with care and attention, might be brought to + considerable perfection; but they are never properly broken for the + saddle. The Americans who have spoken to me about riding say that + they do not like a horse to have what we consider proper paces, but + prefer a shambling sort of half-trot, half-canter, which they + judiciously call a rack, and which is the ugliest pace to behold, + and the most difficult to endure, possible. They never use a curb, + but ride their horses upon the snaffle entirely, dragging it as + tight as they can, and having the appearance of holding on for dear + life by it; so that the horse, in addition to the awkward gait I + have described, throws his head up, and pokes his nose out, and + with open jaws "devours the road" before him.... + + I acted here last night for the first time. Dall and my father say + that I received my reception very ungraciously. I am sure I am very + sorry, I did not mean to do so, but I really had not the heart or + the face to smile and look as pleased and pleasant as I can at a + parcel of strangers.... I was not well, or in spirits, and laboring + under a severe cold, which I acquired on board the steamboat that + brought down the Delaware.... Neither the Raritan nor the Delaware + struck me in any way except by their great width. These vast + streams naturally suggest the mighty resources which a country so + watered presents to the commercial enterprise of its inhabitants. + The breadth of these great rivers dwarfs their shores and makes + their banks appear flat and uninteresting, though the large + lake-like basins into which they occasionally expand are grand from + the mere extent and volume of the sweeping mass of waters. + + The colors of the autumnal foliage are rich and beautiful beyond + imagination--crimson and gold, like a regal mantle, instead of the + sad russet cloak of our fading woods. I think, beautiful as this + is, that its gorgeousness takes away from the sweet solemnity that + makes the fall of the year pre-eminently the season of thoughtful + contemplation. Our autumn at home is mellow and harmonious, though + sometimes melancholy; but the brilliancy of this decay strikes one + sometimes with a sudden sadness, as if the whole world were dying + of consumption, with these glittering gleams and hectic flushes, a + mere deception of disease and death.... Good-by, my dearest H---- + + + PHILADELPHIA, October 14, 1832. + DEAREST H----, + + "Boston is a Yankee town, and so is Philadelphy;" considering + which, I assure you I find the latter quite a civilized place. The + above quotation is from "Yankee-doodle," the National Anthem of the + Americans, which I will sing to you some day when I am within + hearing. + + We have just returned from church. Dall and I being too late this + morning for the service, which begins at half-past ten, sallied + forth in search of salvation this afternoon, and after wandering + about a little, entered a fine-looking church, which we found was a + Presbyterian place of worship.... The preaching to-day was + extemporaneous, and extremely feeble and commonplace, occasionally + reminding me of your eloquent friend at Skerries.... I shall try, + on my return to New York, to settle to some work in earnest, as I + hope there that we shall repeat the plays we have already acted, + and so need no rehearsals.... To-morrow I act Juliet to my father's + Romeo; he does it still most beautifully.... In spite of his acting + it with his own child (which puts a manifest absurdity on the very + face of it), the perfection of his art makes it more youthful, + graceful, ardent, and lover-like--a better Romeo, in short, than + the youngest pretender to it nowadays. It is certainly simple truth + when he says, "I am the youngest of that name, for lack of a + better," when the nurse asks for young Romeo. + + Wednesday we act "The School for Scandal," and Friday "Venice + Preserved." So there's your play-bill.... + + At this moment a great political excitement pervades the country; + it is the time of the Presidential Election, and the most vehement + efforts are being made by the Democratic party to maintain the + present President, General Jackson, in his post. The majority, I + believe, is in his favor, though we are told that the "better + classes" (whatever that may mean where no distinctions of class + exist) embrace the cause of his opponent, Henry Clay. + + It seems curious, if it is true, as we have been assured, that in + this one State of Pennsylvania, eight thousand persons out of fifty + who have the right of voting were all who in this last election + exercised it; so that the much-vaunted privilege of universal + suffrage does not seem to be highly prized where it is possessed. + + From all the opinions that I hear expressed upon the subject, it + does not seem as though the system of election prevalent here works + much better, or is much freer from abuses, than the well-vilified + one which England has just been reforming. Bribery and corruption + are familiar here as elsewhere, to those who have, and those who + wish to have, power; and I have not yet heard a single American + speak of our Radical reformers without uplifted hands at what they + consider their folly in not "letting well alone," or, as they say, + in substituting one set of abuses for another, as they declare we + shall do if we adopt their vote by ballot system. + + I have now written you a philosophical, moral, and political + letter, and beg you will score up my attempt to write rationally + against the loads of gibberish I have from time to time discoursed + to you. Good bless you, dearest H----! Three thousand miles away, I + am still + + Always your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + PHILADELPHIA, October 22, 1832. + DEAR H----, + + My first news is deplorable, and I beg you will lament over it + accordingly. I eat little, drink less, rehearse six mornings and + act five nights a week; in spite of all which, and riding a + heavy-going, jolting, shambling, hard-pulling horse, I have grown + so fat that I really cannot perceive that there is any shape in + particular about me. Grotesque things sometimes are melancholy too, + and it is so with me, for I am both.... + + My father and Dall are very well; at this moment he is busy saying, + and she hearing him say, the part of Fazio, which he is to act with + me to-morrow night. I dread it dreadfully; acting anything painful + with him always tries my nerves extremely. + + Bianca is a part of terrible excitement in itself, without the + addition of having to act it to his Fazio. I cannot get rid of his + being he, and it agonizes me really to see his sham agony; however, + "'tis my vocation, Hal." It is very well that our audiences should + look at us as mere puppets, for could they sometimes see the real + feelings of those for whose false miseries their sympathies are + excited, I believe sufficiently in their humanity to think they + would kindly give us leave to leave off and go home. Ours is a very + strange trade, and I am sorry to say that every day increases my + distaste for it.... I do not think that during my father's life I + shall ever leave the stage; it is very selfish to feel regret at + this, I know, but it sometimes seems to me rather dreary to look + along my future years, and think that they will be devoted to labor + that I dislike and despise.... For many years--ever since I entered + upon my first girlhood, indeed--a quiet, lonely life upon a small + independence has been the aim of my desires and my notion of + happiness. Italy and the south of France formerly constantly + solicited my imagination, as offering pleasant places wherein to + build a solitary nest.... And now a cottage near Edinburgh, with an + income of two hundred a year, seems to me the most desirable of + earthly possessions; but, though this is certainly not a very wild + vision of wealth or magnificence, I fear it is quite as little + within my reach as southern palaces, or villas on the + Mediterranean. + + My father has hitherto been able to lay by nothing, and my + assistance is absolutely necessary to him, ... and as long as I can + in any way serve my father's interests by remaining in my + profession I shall do so, and must naturally look forward to a + prolonged period of my present exertions. It is useless pondering + upon this, but I have been led to do so lately from a letter which + my father received from Mr. Bartley, the stage manager of Covent + Garden, the other day, which contained the plan of a new theatrical + speculation, in which he is most anxious to engage us. I know not + how my father feels upon this subject.... I, however, am well + determined that neither Mr. L----'s opinion, nor that of the whole + world besides, should induce me to own the value of a truss of + straw in any theater. My father's whole life has been given over to + trouble and anxiety in consequence of his proprietorship and + involvement in that ruinous concern, Covent Garden; and now, when + his remaining health and strength will no more than serve to lay up + the means of subsistence when health and strength are gone, the + idea of his loading himself with such a burden of bitterness as the + proprietorship of a new theater makes me perfectly miserable. For + my own part, I am determined to own neither part nor lot in any + such venture: I will lend or give anything that I may earn to it, + and I will act, at half the price I might get elsewhere, for it, if + my father wishes me to do so; but not a demonstrable cent per cent + profit should induce me to run such a risk of cursing the day that + I was born, as to become owner of a theater. I write you all this + (and I have written more than enough about it) because it has been + lately a subject of much anxious meditation to me. The matter is at + present without settled form or plan, but the proposal of such a + scheme has caused me deep regret and anxiety.... I am going to act + to-morrow in "The Hunchback;" Thursday, Mrs. Beverley; Friday, Lady + Townley; Saturday, Juliet; Monday, Julia again; and Tuesday, + Bizarre in "The Inconstant;" which ends our engagement here. This + is pretty hard work, is it not? besides always one, and sometimes + two rehearsals of a morning. + + We begin our second engagement in New York on the 7th of November. + Don't forget that the 27th of that month is my birthday, and that + if you neglect to drink my health, I shall probably die, for want + of your good wishes to keep me alive. + + We act in Boston on the 3d of December; "further than that the + deponent sayeth not." + + I told you in my last letter that Philadelphia was the cleanest + place in the world. The country along the banks of the Schuylkill + (one of the rivers on which it stands; the other is the Delaware) + is wild and beautiful, and the glory of the autumn woods what an + eye that hath not seen can by no manner of means conceive. I have + for the last week had my room full of the most delicious flowers + that could only be seen with us at midsummer, and here, in these + last days of autumn, they are as abundant and fragrant, and the sun + is as intensely hot and brilliant, as it should be, but never is, + with us, in the month of July.... + + Dall went into a Quaker's shop here the other day, when, after + waiting upon her with the utmost attention and kindness, the master + of the shop said, "And how doth Fanny? I was in hopes she might + have wanted something; we should have great pleasure in attending + upon her." Was not that nice? So to-day I went thither, and bought + myself a lovely sober-colored gown. This place, as you know, is the + headquarters of Quakerdom, and all the enchanting nosegays come + from "a Philadelphia friend," the latter word dashed under, as if + to indicate a member of the religious fraternity always called by + that kindly title here.... + + I think my father has some idea of bringing out "The Star of + Seville" here, and if he does I shall break my heart that it was + not brought out first in England. Emily always reproaches me with + want of patriotism. I have more than helps to make me cheerful + here, and leaving England--not home, and not you, but England, + England--for two years, seems to me now ridiculous, and fabulous, + and preposterous, and disastrous. + + I have finished my first volume of Graham, and I have finished this + letter. God bless you! + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + PHILADELPHIA, November 2, 1832. + DEAREST H----, + + I received your fifth letter to-day, and one from Dorothy, and one + from Emily Fitzhugh.... My last letter to you was a sad one, and + sad in a fashion that does not often occur to me. I was troubled + and anxious about my professional labor and its results, and that + may be called a small sadness compared with some other with which I + have lately become familiar. Of course none of these anxieties have + been removed, for some time must elapse before I can know on what + plan my father determines with regard to Mr. Bartley's proposal + about this new theater. It does not affect me personally, because I + am thoroughly determined to take no part in any speculation of the + kind; but the possibility of my father entering into any such + scheme is care enough to "kill a cat," and make a kitten miserable + besides.... In all matters, but especially in matters of business, + I hold frankness, straightforwardness, and decision as conducive to + success, as consonant with right feeling; but I think men are much + more cowardly than women, and believe a great deal more in policy, + temporizing, and expediency than we do. "Managing" is supposed to + be a feminine tendency; it has no place in my composition; perhaps + I might be the better for a little of it--but only perhaps, and + only a little.... This letter, as you will perceive by its date, + was begun on the banks of the Delaware; here we are, however, once + more in New York. It is Monday evening, the 5th of November, and + you are firing squibs and burning manikins _en action de grâces_ + that the Houses of Parliament were not blown up by the Roman + Catholics, instead of living to be reformed by the Whigs, and + (peradventure) blowing up the nation. + + The Presidential Election is going on here, and creates immense + excitement. General Jackson, they say, will certainly be + re-elected. + + Our last fortnight in Philadelphia has been one of incessant and + very hard work, rehearsing every morning and acting every night. I + rejoiced heartily when our engagement drew to a close, for I was + fairly worn out, and money bought with health is bought too dear, I + think.... I have taken some very pleasant rides during our stay in + Philadelphia; the horses are none of them properly broken for + riding, which makes it a pleasure of no small fatigue to ride them + for three or four hours. Luckily, I do not object to severe + exercise, and the weather and the country were both charming.... + + I am glad you have been re-reading the "Tempest." ... What + exquisite pleasure that fine creation has given me! I like it + better than any of the other plays; it is less "of the earth, + earthy" than any of the others; for though the "Midsummer Night's + Dream" is in some sort, as it were, its companion, the mortal + element in the latter poem is far less noble and lovely than in the + "Tempest." Prospero and Miranda, the dwellers on the enchanted + island, are statelier and fairer than any of the human wanderers in + the mazes of the Athenian wood. There is a deep and indescribable + melancholy to me in the "Tempest" that mingles throughout with its + beauty, and lends a special charm to it. I so often contemplate in + fancy that island, lost in the unknown seas, just in the hour of + its renewed solitude, after the departure of its "human mortal" + dwellers and visitors, when Prospero and his companions had bade + farewell to it, when Caliban was grunting and grubbing and + groveling in his favorite cave again, when Ariel was hovering like + a humming-bird over the flower draperies of the woods, where the + footprints of men were still stamped on the wet sand of the shining + shore, but their voices silent and their forms vanished, and utter + solitude, and a strange dream of the past, filling the haunts where + human life, its sin and sorrow, and joy and hope, and love and + hate, had breathed and palpitated, and were now forever gone. The + notion of that desert once, but now deserted, paradise, whose + flowers had looked up at Miranda, whose skies had shed wisdom on + Prospero, always seems to me full of melancholy. The girl's sweet + voice singing no more in the sunny, still noon, the grave, tender + converse of the father and child charming no more the solemn + eventide, the forsaken island dwells in my imagination as at once + desecrated and hallowed by its mortal sojourners; no longer savage + quite, and never to be civilized; the supernatural element + disturbed, the human element withdrawn; a sad, beautiful place, + stranger than any other in the world. Perhaps the sea went over it; + it has never been found since Shakespeare landed on it. I love that + poem beyond words.... + + I shall ruin you in postage; if there is any chance of that, keep + Mrs. Norton's five guineas to pay for my American epistles. + + Ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + DEAREST H----, + + I have received your letter, acknowledging my first to you.... As + for letters, they are like everything else we experience here, + sources of to the full as much suffering as satisfaction. Who has + not felt their whole blood run backward at sight of one of these + folded fate-bearers? I declare, breaking an envelope always has + something of the character of pulling a shower-bath string over + one's own head; I wonder anybody ever has the courage to do it.... + + Your dread of our finding New York quite a desert would have been + literally fulfilled had we reached it a fortnight sooner; but the + dreadful malady, the cholera, had taken its departure, and though + private bereavements and general stagnation of business rendered + the season a very unfavorable one for our experiment, yet, upon the + whole, we have every reason to be well satisfied with the result of + it, and think we did well not to postpone the beginning of our + campaign.... The first serious experiences of our youth seem to me + like the breaking asunder of some curious, beautiful, and mystical + pattern or device.... All our lives long we are more or less intent + on replacing the bright scattered fragments in their original + shape: most of us die with the bits still scattered round us--that + is to say, such of the bits as have not been ground into powder, or + soiled and defaced beyond recognition, in the life-process. The few + very wise find and place them in a coherent form at last, but it is + quite another curious, beautiful, and mystical device or pattern + from the original one. + + The deaths of the young Napoleon, the Duke of Reichstadt, and + Walter Scott have excited universal interest here, naturally of a + very dissimilar kind. One's heart burns to think of that young + eagle falling like a weakly winter flower, or a faded, sickly girl, + into his untimely grave.... There was nothing for him but death. If + he had been anything, it could only have been a wild spark of the + mad meteor from which he sprang; and as Heaven in its wisdom + forbade that, I think it much of its mercy that it extinguished him + early and utterly, and did not leave him to flare and flicker and + burn himself out with foul gunpowder smoke, and smell of dead men + slain in battle, in the middle of the smoldering ashes of his + father's European empire. + + My admiration and respect for Walter Scott are unbounded, and were + I the noblest, richest, and charmingest man in the world, I would + lay myself at Anne Scott's feet out of sheer love and veneration + for her father.... + + You ask me if I wrote anything on board ship? Nothing but odds and + ends of doggerel. Since I have been here I have written some verses + on the beautiful American autumn, which have been published with + commendation. I am thinking of writing a prose story, if ever again + I can get two minutes and a half of leisure.... Your entreaties for + minute details of our life make me sad, for how little of what we + do, be, or suffer can be conveyed to you in this miserable scrap of + paper!... Our dinner-hour is three when we are actors, five when we + are ladies and gentlemen. The food we get here in New York is very + indifferent. It was excellent in quality in Philadelphia, but + wherever we have been there is a want of niceness and refinement in + the cooking and serving everything that is very disagreeable.... + + Thursday, Nov. 27th. This is my birthday--in England always one of + the gloomiest days of this gloomy month; here my windows are all + open, and the warm sun streaming in as it might on the finest of + early September days with us. I am to-day three-and-twenty. Where + is my life gone to? As the child said, "Where does the light go + when the candle is out?" ... Since last I wrote to you I have been + forty miles up the Hudson, and seen such noble waters and beautiful + hills, such glory of color and magnificent breadth in the grand + river and its autumn woods, as I cannot describe. + + This is our last night but one of acting here. We play "The + Hunchback" on Saturday, and on Monday go back to Philadelphia for + three weeks; thence to Baltimore and Washington, and then return + here. I must go now and rehearse Katharine and Petruchio. + + I have just finished Graham's "History," and am beginning John + Smith. By the by, a gentleman here is writing a play, in which I am + to act Pocahontas and my father Captain Smith. Come out and see it, + won't you? Good-by, dear. Think always of your affectionate + + F. A. K. + + + December 9, 1832. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received yours of October 16th yesterday.... You are not + healthily natured enough to be inconstant. Yours is one of those + morbid organizations for whom the present never does its wholesome, + proper office of superseding the past, and your thoughts and + feelings, your whole inner life, in short, is always out of + perspective, because your background is forever your foreground, + and with you, half the time, nothing is but what is not; not in + consequence of looking forward, like Macbeth, but the reverse.... I + am delighted that you are going to Scotland to know my dear Mrs. + Harry Siddons. + + Before this letter reaches you, however, you will have returned to + your castle, and your visit to Edinburgh will be over.... Mercy on + me! what disputations you and Mr. Combe will have had--on matters + physiological, psychological, phrenological, and philosophical! My + brains ache to imagine them.... Spurzheim, you know, is dead lately + in Boston. It is a matter of regret to me not to have seen him, and + his death will be a grief to the Combes, who venerate him + highly.... Making trial of people is running a foolish risk, and + they who get disappointment by it reap the most probable result + from such experiments. I am quite willing to trust my friends; God + forbid I should ever try them!... + + We have not yet been to Boston, and therefore I myself know nothing + of Channing, and cannot answer your questions about him. All that I + hear inclines me to like as well as respect him. His gentleness and + kindness, his weak health, brought on by over-study, his perfect + simplicity and unaffectedness--these are the usual details that + follow any mention of him, and accord with the impression his + writings produced upon me; but of his theological treatises I know + nothing. + + I am glad anything so universal as the blessed sunshine reminds you + of me, because my remembrance must be present with you almost + daily. The lights of heaven shine more glowingly here than through + the misty veils that curtain our islands. The moon and stars are + wonderfully bright, and there is an intensity, an earnestness, and + a translucent purity in the sky here that delights me.... Four + months are already gone out of the two years we are to pass out of + England. Dear England! My heart dwells with affectionate pride upon + the beauty and greatness and goodness of my own country--that + wonderful little land, that mere morsel of earth as it seems on the + map--so full of power, of wealth, of intellectual vigor and moral + worth!... + + I found Graham a little too much of a Republican for me, though his + "History" seemed to me upon the whole good and very impartial. I am + now half way through Smith's "Virginia," which pleases me by its + quaint old-world style. I am myself much inclined to be in love + with Captain Smith. A man who fights three Turks and carries their + heads on his shield is to me an admirable man.... + + I answer the propositions in your letters in regular rotation as + they come; and so, with regard to the peaches, those that I have + tasted on this side of the Atlantic I should say were not + comparable to fine hothouse peaches in England and fine French + espalier peaches; but then the peach trees here are standard trees, + and there are whole orchards of them. Their chief merit, therefore, + is their abundance, and some of that abundance is certainly fit for + nothing but to feed pigs withal. [It is by no means a luxury to be + despised, however, to have, in the American fashion, on a hot + summer's day, a deep plate presented to you full of peaches, cut up + like apples for a pie, that have been standing in ice, and are then + snowed over with sugar and frozen cream.] + + We are now in Philadelphia, whence we go to Baltimore, Washington, + and Charleston. The Southern States are at this moment in a state + of violent excitement, which seems almost to threaten a dissolution + of the Union. The tariff question is the point of disagreement; and + as the interests of the North and South are in direct opposition on + this subject, there is no foretelling the end. + + Our success is very great, and we have every reason to be satisfied + with and grateful for it. Our houses are full, and eke our pockets, + and we have hitherto managed to live in tolerable privacy and very + tolerable discomfort. But I believe the western part of the country + has yet to teach us the extent of inconvenience to which travelers + in America are sometimes liable. God bless you, dearest H----. + + I am, ever yours affectionately, + F. A. K. + + My father and I took a moonlight walk the other night, from ten + o'clock till half-past twelve, during which we neither of us + uttered six words. + + + BALTIMORE, January 2, 1833. + MY DEAREST H----, + + You are the first to whom I date this new year.... I told you in + one of my letters to keep the five guineas Mrs. Norton has paid you + for my scribblements to pay the postage of my letters--do so.... + + We arrived in this place on Monday, at half-past four, having left + Philadelphia at six in the morning. We have just terminated a + second engagement there very successfully. If the roads and + carriages are bad, and the land-traveling altogether detestable, + the speed, facility, and convenience of the steamboats, by which + one may really be conveyed from one end to another of this world of + vast waters, are very admirable. Vast waters indeed they are! We + came down the Delaware on Monday, and (open your Irish eyes!) + sometimes it was six, sometimes thirteen miles wide, and never + narrower than three or four miles at any part of it that we saw. So + wide an expanse of fresh running water is in itself a fine object. + We crossed the narrow neck of land between the Delaware and the + Chesapeake on a railroad with one of Stephenson's engines.... + + The railroad was full of knots and dots, and jolting and jumping + and bumping and thumping places. The carriages we were in held + twelve people very uncomfortably. Baltimore itself, as far as I + have seen it, strikes me as a large, rambling, red-brick village on + the outskirts of one of our manufacturing towns, Birmingham or + Manchester. It covers an immense extent of ground, but there are + great gaps and vacancies in the middle of the streets, patches of + gravely ground, parcels of meadow land, and large vacant + spaces--which will all, no doubt, be covered with buildings in good + time, for it is growing daily and hourly--but which at present give + it an untidy, unfinished, straggling appearance. + + While my father and I were exploring about together yesterday, we + came to a print-shop, whose window exhibited an engraving of + Reynolds's Mrs. Siddons as the Tragic Muse, and Lawrence's picture + of my uncle John in Hamlet. We stopped before them, and my father + looked with a good deal of emotion at these beautiful + representations of his beautiful kindred, and it was a sort of sad + surprise to meet them in this other world where we are wandering, + aliens and strangers. + + This is the newest-looking place we have yet visited, the youngest + in appearance in this young world; and I have experienced to-day a + disagreeable instance of its immature civilization, or at any rate + its small proficiency in the elegancies of life. I wanted to ride, + but although a horse was to be found, no such thing as a + side-saddle could be procured at any livery-stable or saddler's in + the town, so I have been obliged to give up my projected exercise. + + I have been to my first rehearsal here this morning, and wretched + enough all things were. I act for the first time to-morrow night + Bianca, which they have everywhere chosen for my opening part; and + it is a good one for that purpose, as I generally act and look well + in it, and it is the sort of play that all sorts of people can + comprehend. There is a foreign--I mean continental--custom here, + which is pleasant. They have a _table d'hôte_ dinner at two + o'clock, and while it is going on a very tolerable band plays all + manner of Italian airs and German waltzes, and as there is a fine + long corridor into which my room-door opens, with a window at each + end, I have a very agreeable promenade, and take my exercise to + this musical accompaniment.... + + I have at this moment on my table a lovely nosegay--roses, + geraniums, rare heaths, and perfect white camellias. Our windows + are all wide open; the heat is intense, and the air that comes in + at them like a sirocco. It is unusual weather for the season even + here, and very unwholesome. + + In a week's time we are going on to Washington, where we shall find + dear Washington Irving, whom I think I shall embrace, for England's + sake as well as his own. We have letters to the President, to whom + we are to be presented, and to his rival, Henry Clay, and to Daniel + Webster, whom I care more to know than either of the others. + + After a short stay in Washington we return here, and then back to + Philadelphia and New York, till the 20th of February, after which + we sail for Charleston. There has been, and still exists at + present, a very considerable degree of political alarm and + excitement in this country, owing to the threat of the South + Carolinians to secede from the Union if the tariff is not annulled, + and the country is in hourly expectation of being involved in a + civil war. However, the prevailing opinion among the wise seems to + be that the Northern States will be obliged to give up the tariff, + as the only means of preserving the Union; and if matters come to a + peaceable settlement, we shall proceed in February to Charleston; + if not, South Carolina will have other things to think of besides + plays and play-actors. The summer we shall probably spend in + Canada; the winter perhaps in Jamaica, to which place we have + received a most pressing invitation from Lord Mulgrave. The end of + the ensuing spring will, I trust in God, see us embarked once more + for England.... + + We are earning money very fast, and though I think we work too + incessantly and too hard, yet, as every night we do not act is a + certain loss of so much out of my father's pocket, I do not like to + make many objections to it, although I think it is really not + unlikely to be detrimental to his own health and strength.... + + I spent yesterday evening with some very pleasant people here, who + are like old-fashioned English folk, the Catons, Lady Wellesley's + father and mother. They are just now in deep mourning for Mrs. + Caton's father, the venerable Mr. Carroll, who was upward of + ninety-five years old when he died, and was the last surviving + signer of the Declaration of Independence. I saw a lovely picture + by Lawrence of the eldest of the three beautiful sisters, the + daughters of Mrs. Caton, who have all married Englishmen of rank. + [The Marchioness of Wellesley, the Duchess of Leeds, and Lady + Stafford. The fashion of marrying in England seems to be + traditional in this family. Miss McTavish, niece of these ladies, + married Mr. Charles Howard, son of the Earl of Carlisle.] + + The Baltimore women are celebrated for their beauty, and I think + they are the prettiest creatures I have ever seen as far as their + faces go; but they are short and thin, and have no figures at all, + either in height or breadth, and pinch their waists and feet most + cruelly, which certainly, considering how small they are by nature, + is a work of supererogation, and does not tend to produce in them a + state of grace.... We act every night this week, and as we are + obliged to rehearse every morning, of course I have no time for any + occupations but my strictly professional ones. I do not approve of + this quantity of hard work for either my father or myself, but I do + not like to make any further protest upon the subject.... + + Good-by, dearest H----. + I am ever your affectionate + F. A. K. + + + TO MRS. JAMESON. + + BALTIMORE, January 11, 1833. + + Thank you across the sea, dear Mrs. Jameson, for your letter of the + 1st of November. I had been wondering, but the day before it + reached me, whether you had ever received one I wrote to you on my + first arrival in New York, or whether you were accusing me of + neglect, ingratitude, forgetfulness, and all the turpitudes that + the delay of a letter sometimes causes folk to give other folk + credit for. My occupations are incessant, or rather, I should say, + my occupation, for to my sorrow I have but one. 'Tis not with me + now as in the fortunate days when, after six rehearsals, a piece + ran, as the saying is, twenty nights, leaving me all the mornings + and three evenings in the week at my own disposal. Here we rush + from place to place, at each place have to drill a new set of + actors, and every night to act a different play; so that my days + are passed in dawdling about cold, dark stages, with blundering + actors who have not even had the conscience to study the words of + their parts, all the morning. All the afternoon I pin up ribbons + and feathers and flowers, and sort out theatrical adornments, and + all the evening I enchant audiences, prompt my fellow-mimes, and + wish it had pleased Heaven to make me a cabbage in a corner of a + Christian kitchen-garden in--well, say Hertfordshire, or any other + county of England; I am not particular as to the precise spot.... + Whenever I can I get on horseback; it is the only pleasure I have + in this world; for my dancing days are drawing to a close. But I + mean to ride as long as I have a hand to hold a rein, or a leg to + put over a pommel. By the by, I ought to beg your pardon for the + last sentence; I ought to have said a foot to put into a stirrup; + for if you are not ashamed of having legs you ought to be--at + least, we are in this country, and never mention, or give the + slightest token of having such things, except by wearing very short + petticoats, which we don't consider objectionable.... I am glad you + have furbished up and completed your little room, because it is a + sign you mean to stay where you are, and I like to know where to + find you in my imagination.... I have just seen dear Washington + Irving, and it required all my sense of decent decorum to prevent + my throwing my arms round his neck, he looked so like a bit of + home, England. + + You will be glad to hear that we are thriving, in body and estate. + We are all well, and our work is very successful. The people flock + to see us, and nothing can exceed the kindness which we meet with + everywhere and from everybody.... I read nothing whatever since I + am in this blessed land. The only books I have accomplished getting + through have been Graham's "History of North America," + Knickerbocker's "History of New York," which nearly killed me with + laughing; "Contarini Fleming," which is very affected and very + clever; sundry cantos of Dante, sundry plays of Shakespeare, sundry + American poems [which are very good], and old Captain John Smith's + quaint "History of Virginia." As fast as I gather my wits together + for any steady occupation, I am whisked off to some new place, and + do not recover from one journey before I have to take another. The + roads here shake one's body, soul, thoughts, opinions, and + principles all to pieces; I assure you they are wicked roads. + + Our theater, Covent Garden, is, we understand, going to the dogs. I + cannot help it any more, that is certain, and feel about that as + about all things that have had their day--it must go. Taglioni is + like a dream, and you must not abuse Mademoiselle Mars to me. I + never saw her but twice--in "L'Ecole des Vieillards" and + "Valérie"--and I thought her perfection in both.... If I do not + leave off, you will be blind for the next fortnight with reading + this crossed letter. I wish you success most heartily in all you + undertake, and am truly and faithfully yours, + + FANNY KEMBLE. + +[Washington Irving was intimately acquainted with my father and mother, +and a most kind and condescending friend to me. He often told me that +when first he went to England, long before authorship or celebrity had +dawned upon him, he was a member of a New York commercial house, on +whose affairs he was sent to Europe. It was when he was a mere obscure +young man of business in London that he had been introduced to my +mother, whose cordial kindness to him in his foreign isolation seemed to +have made a profound impression on him; for when I knew him, in the days +of his great literary celebrity and social success, he often referred to +it with the warmest expressions of gratitude. I think, of all the +distinguished persons I have known, he was one of the least affected by +the adulation and admiration of society. He remained quite unchanged by +his extreme social popularity. Simple, unaffected, unconstrained, +genial, kindly, and good, he seemed so entirely to forget his own +celebrity, that one almost forgot it too in talking to him. I remember +his coming, the day after my first appearance at Covent Garden, to see +us, and congratulated my parents on the success of that terrible +experiment. I, who was always delighted to see him, ran to fetch the +pretty new watch I had received from my father the night before, and +displayed its beauties with an eager desire for his admiration of them. +He took it and slowly turned it about, commending its fine workmanship +and pretty enamel and jewelry; then putting it to his ear, with a most +mischievous look of affected surprise, he exclaimed, as one does to a +child's watch, "Why, it goes, I declare!" + +To my great regret and loss, I saw Mademoiselle Mars only in two parts, +when, in the autumn of her beauty and powers, she played a short +engagement in London. The grace, the charm, the loveliness, which she +retained far into middle age, were, even in their decline, enough to +justify all that her admirers said of her early incomparable +fascination. Her figure had grown large and her face become round, and +lost their fine outline and proportion; but the exquisite taste of her +dress and graceful dignity of her deportment, and sweet radiance of her +expressive countenance, were still indescribably charming; and the +voice, unrivaled in its fresh melodious brilliancy, and the pure and +perfect enunciation, were unimpaired, and sounded like the clear liquid +utterance of a young girl of sixteen. Her Celimène and her Elmire I +never had the good fortune to see, but can imagine, from her performance +of the heroine in Casimir de la Vigne's capital play of "L'Ecole des +Vieillards," how well she must have deserved her unrivaled reputation in +those parts. + +It is remarkable that one of the most striking points in Madame d'Orval +was suggested by herself to the author. De la Vigne, according to the +frequent usage of French authors, was reading his piece to the great +actress, upon whom its success was mainly to depend, and when he came to +the scene where the offended but unjustly suspicious husband recounts to +his wife the details of his duel with the young duke whose attentions to +her had excited his jealousy, and that when, full of the tenderest +anxiety for his safety, she flies to meet him, and is repulsed by the +bitter irony of his speech, beginning, "Rassurez-vous, madame, le duc +n'est point blessé," Mademoiselle Mars, having listened in silence till +the end of D'Orval's speech, exclaimed, "Mais, quoi! je ne dis rien, +elle ne dit rien!" De la Vigne, who had made the young woman listen in +speechless anguish to the bitter and unjust reproach conveyed by her +husband's first words and his subsequent account of the duel, said, in +some surprise at Mademoiselle Mars' suggestion, "Mais quoi encore--que +peut-elle dire? que voudriez-vous qu'elle dise?" "Ah, quelquechose!" +cried Mademoiselle Mars, clasping her hands in the imagined distress of +the situation; "rien--deuxmots seulement. 'Ah, monsieur!' quand il dit, +'Rassurez-vous, madame, le duc n'est point blessé.'" "Eh bien! dites, +dites comme cela," cried De la Vigne, amazed at all the expression the +exquisite voice and face had given to the two words. And so the scene +was altered, and the long recital of D'Orval was broken by the +reproachful "Ah, monsieur!" of his wife, and seldom has the utterance of +such an insignificant exclamation affected those who heard it so keenly. +For myself, I never can forget the sudden, burning blush that spread +tingling to my shoulders at all the shame and mortification and anguish +conveyed in the pathetic protest of that "Ah, monsieur!" of Mademoiselle +Mars. + +Dr. Gueneau de Mussy, who knew her well, and used to see her very +frequently in her later years of retirement from the stage, told me that +he had often heard her read, among other things, the whole play of "Le +Tartuffe," and that the coarse flippancy of the honest-hearted Dorinne, +and the stupid stolidity of the dupe Orgon, and the vulgar, gross, +sensual hypocrisy of the Tartuffe, were all rendered by her with the +same incomparable truth and effect as her own famous part of the heroine +of the piece, Elmire. On one of the very last occasions of her appearing +before her own Parisian audience, when she had passed the limit at which +it was possible for a woman of her advanced age to assume the appearance +of youth, the part she was playing requiring that she should exclaim "Je +suis jeune! je suis jolie!" a loud, solitary hiss protested against the +assertion with bitter significance. After an instant's consternation, +which held both the actors and audience silent, she added, with the +exquisite grace and dignity which survived the youth and beauty to which +she could no longer even pretend, "Je suis Mademoiselle Mars!" and the +whole house broke out in acclamations, and rang with the applause due to +what the incomparable artiste still was and the memory of all that she +had been.] + + NEW YORK, February 21, 1833. + + It is a long time since I have written to you, my dearest H----.... + My work is incessant, ... and there is no end to the breathless + hurry of occupation we pass our days in. Here is already a break + since I began this letter, for we are now in Philadelphia, on our + way to Washington, and it is Thursday, the 3d of March.... It has + been matter of serious regret to me that I have not, from the very + first day of my becoming a worker for wages, looked more into the + details of my earnings and spendings. I have felt this particularly + lately from circumstances relative to V----'s position, which is a + very sad one, from which I have been very anxious to relieve + her.... All I know at present is, that since we have been here in + America our earnings have already been sufficient to enable us to + live in tolerably decent comfort on the Continent.... Do you know, + dearest H----, that it is not impossible that I may never return to + England to reside there. See it again, I will, please God to grant + me life and eyes, but the state of my father's property in Covent + Garden is such that it seems more than likely that he may never be + able to return to England without risking the little which these + last toilsome years will have enabled him to earn for the support + of his own and my mother's old age. He will be compelled, in all + likelihood, to settle and die abroad, as my uncle John did, by the + liabilities of that ruinous possession of theirs, the first theater + of London. When first my father communicated this chance to me, and + expressed his determination, should the affairs of the theater + remain in their present situation, to buy a small farm in Normandy, + and go and live there, my heart sank terribly. This was very + different from my girlish dream of a life of lonely independence + among the Alps, or by the Mediterranean; and the idea of living + entirely out of England seems to me now very sad for all of us.... + However, there are earth and skies out of England. What does Imogen + say?-- + + "I prithee think, there's livers out of Britain;" + + and if God vouchsafe me my faculties, and I can bid farewell to + this life of distasteful toil, I have visions of studies and + pursuits which I think might make existence very happy in a farm in + Normandy, though such might not have been my own choice.... What + special inquiries did you wish me to make about General Washington? + I was, when at Washington, within fifteen miles of Mount Vernon, + his home and burying-place, but could not make time to go thither. + I have one of his autograph letters, and if there be any indication + of character in handwriting--which I hope to goodness there is + not--it certainly exists in his, for a firmer, clearer, and fairer + hand I never saw--an excellent, honest handwriting. His likeness + confronts one at every corner here; not only at every street + corner, where he lends his countenance to the frequenters of + drinking-houses, but over every chimney-piece in every + sitting-room. He is like the frogs of the old Egyptian plague, + except that they were in the king's chamber, where he was too good + a Republican ever to have been. + + I am amused at your summing up your account of the restless and + perturbed state of poor Ireland by saying, "After all, I believe + America is the land of peace and quiet." It seems to me, who am + here, that everything at this moment threatens change and + disintegration in this country. It is impossible to imagine more + menacing elements of discord and disunion than those which exist in + the opposite and antagonistic interests of its southern and + northern provinces, and the anomalous mixture of aristocratic + feeling and democratic institutions.... God bless you, my dear + H----. I will write to you soon again; if possible, before the + breathing-time this snow-storm is giving us is over. + + Ever affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + + + NEW YORK, April 3, 1833. + MY DEAREST H----, + + ... I am working very hard, what with rehearsing, acting, studying + new parts, devising new dresses, and attending--which, of course, I + am obliged also to do--to the claims of the society in which we are + living, and my time is so full that I barely contrive to fulfill + all my duties and answer all the claims made upon me.... The spring + is in the sky, and in the air her soft smile and sweet breath are + gladdening the world; but the process of vegetation is much later + in beginning, and much more rapid in its operations when they do + begin here, than with us. Though the last three days have been as + hot as our midsummer weather, the trees are yet leafless and + budless--as dry and unpromising-looking as they were in mid-winter; + and, indeed, the transition from winter to summer is almost + instantaneous here. The spring does not stand coaxing and beckoning + the shy summer to the woods and fields as in our country, but while + winter yet seems lord of the ascendant, and his white robes are + still covering land and water, suddenly the summer looks down upon + the earth from the cloudless sky, and, as by magic, the ice melts, + the snow evaporates, the trees are clothed with green, the woods + are full of flowers, and the whole world breaks out into a + hallelujah of warmth, beauty, and blossoming like mid-July in our + deliberate climate. This again lasts, as it were, but a day; the + sun presently becomes so powerful that the world withers away under + the intense heat, the flowers and shrubs fade, and instead of + screening and refreshing the earth, are themselves scorched and + parched with the glaring fierceness of the sky; the ground cracks, + the watercourses dry up, the rivers shrink in their beds, and every + human creature that can flies from the lowlands and the cities to + go up into the north or to the mountains to find breath, shelter, + and refreshment from the sultry curse. Then comes the autumn, and + that is most glorious; not soft and sad as ours, but to the very + threshold of winter bright, warm, lovely, and gorgeous. Two seasons + remain to our earthly year, remembrances, I think, of Paradise; the + spring in Italy, and autumn in America.... + + You ask me how I "fit in" to my American audiences? Why, very + kindly indeed. At first they seemed to me rather cold, and I felt + this more with regard to my father than myself, but I think they + have grown to like us; I certainly have grown to like them, and + their applause satisfies me amply.... I heard yesterday of one of + Sir Thomas Lawrence's prints of me which was carried by a peddler + beyond the Alleghany Mountains [the Alleghany Mountains then were + further than the Rocky Mountains are now from the Atlantic + seaboard], and bought at an egregious price by a young engineer, + who with fifteen others went out there upon some railroad + construction business, were bidding for it at auction in that + wilderness, where they themselves were gazed at, as prodigies of + strange civilization, by the half-savage inhabitants of the region. + That touched and pleased me very much.... We are going to act here + till the 12th of this month, when we go to Boston, where we shall + remain for a month; after which we return here for a week, and then + proceed to Philadelphia by the 1st of June, where we intend closing + our professional labors for the summer. Thence we shall probably go + to Niagara and the Canadas. My father has talked of spending a + little quiet time in Rhode Island, where the weather is cool and we + might recruit a little; but there does not seem much certainty + about our plans at present. In the autumn we shall begin our + progress toward New Orleans, where we shall probably winter, and + act our way back here by the spring, when I hope and trust we shall + return to England.... The book of Harriet Martineau's which you + bade me read is delightful. I have not quite finished it yet, for I + have scarcely any time at all for reading; for want of the habit of + thinking and reading on such subjects I find the political economy + a little stiff now and then, though the clearness and simplicity + with which it is treated in this story are admirable. I did not + know that I was supposed to be the original of Letitia.... God + bless you, my dearest H----. + + I am ever your most affectionate, + F. A. K. + +"For Each and for All" was, I think, the name of the volume taken from +Miss Martineau's admirable series of political economy tales, which my +friend, Miss S----, sent me. The heroine of the story is a young +actress, and Miss Martineau once told me that she had derived some +slight suggestion of the character from me. + + NEW YORK, Friday, April 10, 1833. + MY DEAREST H----, + + ... On Monday last I acted Lady Macbeth; on Tuesday, Lady Townley; + on Wednesday, Belvidera; and last night, Portia, and Mary Copp in + "Charles II." This is pretty hard work. To-morrow we start for + Boston, which we shall reach on Sunday, and Monday our work begins + there.... I think four nights a week as much as either my father or + myself ought to work, and as much as we really can work profitably, + the rest being money taken from our capital--_i.e._, our health. + But in Boston we shall act for three weeks or a month every night + but the Saturdays. [The days when four or five performances a week + were considered a sufficient exertion for popular actors or singers + are far enough in the past, and now there seems to be no limit to + the capacity of such artists for earning money by the exercise of + their talents. Five and six performances a week are the normal + number now expected from great European stars, or rather those + which great European stars expect to give and to be paid for. Their + health is one invariable sacrifice to this over-work, and their + artistic excellence a still more grievous one. It has been asked + why artists invariably return to Europe comparatively coarse and + vulgar in the style of their performances, and the result is + attributed to the want of refined taste and critical judgment of + the American audiences--in my opinion very unjustly, for if want of + knowledge and nice perception in the public induces carelessness + and indifference in performers, the grasping greed of gain and + incessant over-exertion, mental and physical, for the sake of + satisfying it, is a far more certain cause of artistic + deterioration. During Madame Ristori's last visit to America, I + went to see a morning performance of "Elizabeta d'Inglterra" by + her. Arriving at the theater half an hour before the time announced + for the performance, I found notices affixed to the entrances, + stating that the beginning was unavoidably delayed by Madame + Ristori's non-arrival. The crowd of expectant spectators occupied + their seats and bore this prolonged postponement with + American--_i.e._, unrivaled--patience, good-temper, and civility. + We were encouraged by two or three pieces of information from some + official personage, who from the stage assured us that the moment + Madame Ristori arrived (she was coming by railroad from Baltimore) + the play should begin. Then came a telegram, she was coming; then + an announcement, she was come; and driving from the terminus + straight to the theater, tired and harassed herself with the delay, + she dressed herself and appeared before her audience, went through + a part of extraordinary length and difficulty and exertion--almost, + indeed, a monologue--including the intolerable fatigue and hurry of + four or five entire changes of costume, and as the curtain dropped + rushed off to disrobe and catch a train to New York, where she was + to act the next morning, if not the evening, of that same day. I + had seen Madame Ristori in this part in England, and was shocked at + the great difference in the merit of her performance. Every + particle of careful elaboration and fine detail of workmanship was + gone; the business of the piece was hurried through, with + reference, of course, only to the time in which it could be + achieved; and of Madame Ristori's once fine delineation of the + character, which, when I first saw it, atoned for the little merit + of the piece itself, nothing remained but the broad claptrap points + in the several principal situations, made coarse, and not nearly + even as striking, by the absence of due preparation and working up + to them, the careless rendering of everything else, and the + slurring over of the finer minutiæ and more delicate indications of + the whole character. It was a very sad spectacle to me.] + + Besides your letter, the poor old _Pacific_ (the ship that brought + us to America) brought me something else to-day. While Washington + Irving was sitting with me, a message came from the mate of the + _Pacific_ with a large box of mould for me. I had it brought in, + and asking Irving if he knew what it was, "A bit of the old soil," + said he; and that it was.... Washington Irving was sure to have + guessed right as to my treasure, and I was not ashamed to greet it + with tears before him.... He is so sensible, sound, and + straightforward in his way of seeing everything, and at the same + time so full of hopefulness, so simple, unaffected, true, and good, + that it is a privilege to converse with him, for which one is the + wiser, the happier and the better.... + + Here is Monday, April 15th, Boston, my dear H----. We arrived here + yesterday evening, and in the course of this morning I have already + received fourteen visitors, all of whom I shall have to go and + waste my time with in return for their kind waste of theirs upon + me.... To-morrow I begin my work with "Fazio" and go to a party + afterward.... + + Tuesday, 16th. + + ... This morning I have been to rehearsal, and out shopping, and + received crowds of strangers who come and call upon us.... To-night + I make my first appearance here in "Fazio," and we hear the theater + will be crammed, and I am going to a party after that dreadful + play; not by way of delight, but of duty, and a severe one it will + be. To-morrow I act Mrs. Haller, Thursday Lady Teazle, and Friday + Bianca again; Saturday is a blessed holiday.... I have finished + Smith's "Virginia," which I found rather tiresome toward the end. I + have finished Harriet Martineau's political-economy story, which I + liked exceedingly. I am reading a small volume of Brewster's on + "Natural Magic," which entertains me very much; but I am dreadfully + cramped for time, and my poor mind goes like a half-tended garden, + which every now and then makes me feel sad. + + You would have been pleased, dear H----, if you had heard + Washington Irving's answer to me the other day when, in talking + with him of my profession and my distaste for it, I complained of + the little leisure it left me for study and improving myself, for + reading, writing, and the occupations that were congenial to me. + "Well," he said, "you are living, you are seeing men and things, + you are seeing the world, you are acquiring materials and heaping + together observations and experience and wisdom, and by and by, + when with fame you have acquired independence and retire from these + labors, you will begin another and a brighter course with matured + powers. I know of no one whose life has such a promise in it as + yours." Oh! H----, I almost felt hopeful while he spoke so to + me.... + +[Alas! my kind friend was no prophet. Not many months after, sitting by +him at a dinner-party in New York, he said to me, "So I hear you are +engaged to be married, and you are going to settle in this country. +Well, you will be told that this country is like your own, and that +living in it is like living in England: but do not believe it; it is no +such thing, it is nothing of the sort; which need not prevent your being +very happy here if you make the best of things as you find them. Above +all, whatever you do, don't become a creaking door." "What's that?" +asked I, laughing. He then told me that his friend Leslie, the painter, +who was, I believe, like his contemporary and charming rival artist, +Gilbert Stewart Newton, an American by birth, had married an +Englishwoman, whom he had brought out to America, "but who," said +Irving, "worried and tormented his and her own life out with ceaseless +complaints and comparisons, and was such a nuisance that I used to call +her 'the creaking door.'"] + + Good-by, and God bless you, dearest H----. + + I am affectionately yours, + FANNY KEMBLE. + + + BOSTON, Sunday, April 21, 1833. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + There lies in my desk, and has lain, I am ashamed to say, for a + long time now, an unanswered letter of yours, which smites my + conscience every time I open that useful receptacle (desk, not + conscience), where it has, I am sorry to say, many companions in + its own predicament. My time is like running water, and the + quickest, but the rapids of Niagara, that ever ran, I think; and + every hour, as it flies away, is filled with so much that must be + done, letting alone so much that I would wish to do, that I am + fairly out of breath, and feel as if I were flying myself in a + whirling high wind, and if ever I stop for a moment, shan't be + surprised to find that I have gone crazy. I think I should like to + spend a few days entirely alone in a dark room, secluded from every + sight and sound, for my senses are almost worn out, and my sense + exhausted, with looking, hearing, feeling, going, doing, being, and + suffering. Our work is incessant; we never remain a month in any + one place, and we are scarce off our knees from putting things into + drawers than we are down on them again to take them out and put + them all back into trunks. My health has not suffered hitherto from + this constant exertion, but I am occasionally oppressed with the + dreadful unquietness of our life, and long for a few moments' rest + of body and of mind. + + This is our first visit to this place, and I am enchanted with it. + As a town, it bears more resemblance to an English city than any we + have yet seen; the houses are built more in our own fashion, and + there is a beautiful walk called the Common, the features of which + strongly resemble the view over the Green Park just by Constitution + Hill. The people here take more kindly to us than they have done + even elsewhere, and it is delightful to act to audiences who appear + so pleasantly pleased with us.... + + Only think! a book was sent to me from Philadelphia the other day + which proved to be the "Diary of an Ennuyée." I have no idea who it + came from, or who made so good a guess at that old predilection of + mine. I fell to forthwith--for that book has always had a most + powerful charm for me--and read, and read on, though I have read it + many a time through before, and though I had been acting Bianca, + and my supper was on my plate before me. + + I heard the other day mention of another work of yours, since the + Shakespeare book. If you are not weary of writing to me, with such + long intervals between your question and my reply, tell me + something of this new work in your next letter. + + Our plans for the summer are yet unsettled.... I was much + disappointed on arriving here to find that Dr. Channing has left + Boston for the South. His health is completely broken, and the + bleak and bitter east wind that blows perpetually here is a + formidable enemy to life, even in stronger frames than his.... + + The hotel in which we are lodging here is immediately opposite the + box-office, and it is a matter of some agreeable edification to me + to see the crowds gathering round the doors for hours before they + open, and then rushing in, to the imminent peril of life and limb, + pushing and pommeling and belaboring one another like madmen. Some + of the lower class of purchasers, inspired by the thrifty desire + for gain said to be a New England characteristic, sell these + tickets, which they buy at the box-office price, at an enormous + advance, and smear their clothes with treacle and sugar and other + abominations, to secure, from the fear of their contact of all + decently-clad competitors, freer access to the box-keeper. To + prevent, if possible, these malpractices, and secure, to ourselves + and the managers of the theater any such surplus profit as may be + honestly come by, the proprietors have determined to put the boxes + up to auction and sell the tickets to the highest bidders. It was + rather barbarous of me, I think, upon reflection, to stand at the + window while all this riot was going on, laughing at the fun; for + not a wretch found his way in that did not come out rubbing his + back or his elbow, or showing some grievous damage done to his + garments. The opposite window of my room looks out upon a + churchyard and a burial-ground; the reflections suggested by the + contrast between the two prospects are not otherwise than + edifying.... Good-by; God bless you! + + I am ever yours, most truly, + FANNY KEMBLE. + + + NEW YORK, Friday, May 24, 1833. + MY DEAREST H----, + + I received your last letter, dated the 22d March, a week ago, when + I was in Boston, which we have left, after a stay of five weeks, to + return here, where we arrived a few days ago.... + + Boston is one of the pleasantest towns imaginable. It is built upon + three hills, which give it a singular, picturesque appearance, and + I suppose suggested the name of Tremonte Street, and the Tremonte + Hotel, which we inhabited. The houses are many of them of fine + granite, and have an air of wealth and solidity unlike anything we + have seen elsewhere in this country. Many of the streets are + planted with trees, chiefly fine horse-chestnuts, which were in + full leaf and blossom when we came away, and which harmonize + beautifully with the gray color and solid handsome style of the + houses. They have a fine piece of ground, like a park, in one part + of the town, which, together with the houses round it, reminded me + a good deal of the Green Park and the walk at the back of Arlington + Street. + +[The addition of the new part of Boston, stretching beyond the Common +and the public Gardens, has added immensely to the beauty of the city, +and the variety of the buildings and alternate views at the end of the +vistas of the fine streets, looking toward Dorchester Heights, and those +ending in the blue waters of the bay and Charles River, not unfrequently +reminded me both of Florence and Venice, under a sky as rich, and more +pellucid, than that of Italy.] + + The country all round the neighborhood of Boston is charming. The + rides I took in every direction were lovely, and during the last + fortnight of our stay nothing could exceed the exquisite brightness + of the spring weather. The apple trees were all in bloom, the + lilacs in flower, and everything as sweet, fresh, and enchanting as + possible.... How I wish you could have seen the glorious Hudson + with me the other day, now that the woods on its banks are dark + with the shade of their thick and varied foliage! How you would + have rejoiced in the beautiful and noble river scenery! This is "a + brave new world," more ways than one, and we are every way bound to + like it, for our labor has been most amply rewarded in its most + important result, money; and the universal kindness which has + everywhere met us ever since we first came to this country ought to + repay us even for the pain and sorrow of leaving England. We are to + remain here about ten days longer, and then proceed to + Philadelphia, where we shall stay a fortnight, and then we start + for cool and Canada, taking the Hudson, Trenton Falls, and Niagara + on our way; act in Montreal and Quebec for a short time, and then + adjourn, I hope, to Newport in Rhode Island, to rest and recruit + till we begin our autumnal work.... And now I have done grumbling + at "the state of life into which it has pleased God to call me." My + dear H----, I began this letter yesterday, and am this moment + returned from a long visit to Dr. Channing.... The outward man of + the eloquent preacher and teacher is rather insignificant, and + produces no impression at first sight of unusual intellectual + supremacy; and though his eyes and forehead are fine, they did not + seem to me to do justice to the mind expressed in his writings; for + though Shakespeare says, + + "There is no art to read the mind's construction in the face," + + I think the mental qualities are more often detected there than the + moral ones. He is short and slight in figure, and looks, as indeed + he is, extremely delicate, an habitual invalid; his eyes, which are + gray, are well and deeply set, and the brow and forehead fine, + though not, perhaps, as striking as I had expected. The rest of the + face has no peculiar character, and is rather plain. + + He talked to me a great deal about the stage, acting, the dramatic + art; and, professing to know nothing about it, maintained some + theories which proved he did not, indeed, know much. As far as + knowledge of the stage and acting goes, of course this was not + surprising, his studies, observation, and experience certainly not + having lain in that direction; indeed, if they had, he might not + have shown more comprehension of the subject. Sir Thomas Lawrence + is the only unprofessional person I ever heard speak upon it whose + critical opinion and judgment seemed to me worth anything; but it + appeared to me that, in the course of the discussion, some of Dr. + Channing's opinions (with all respect be it spoken) betrayed an + ignorance of human nature itself, upon which, after all, dramatic + literature and dramatic representation are founded. He asked me if + at the present day, and in our present state of civilization, such + a character as Juliet could be imagined possible; so that I believe + I was a little disappointed, in spite of his greatness, his + goodness, and my reverence and admiration for him. + + I went to call on him with a Miss Sedgwick, a person of + considerable literary reputation here, and whose name and books you + may perhaps have heard of. One of them, "Hope Leslie," is, I think, + known in England. Though she is a good deal older than myself, I + have formed a great friendship with her; she is excellent, as well + as very clever and charming. She knows Dr. Channing intimately, and + is a member of his church.... + + It is now Monday morning, dear H----, and I am presently going to + set off to the races. American races! only think of that! I who + never saw but one in my own country, and was totally uninterested + by it! But I am going chiefly to please a nice little woman who is + just married, and whose husband has several horses that are to run, + so perhaps I shall find these more exciting than I did the races I + attended at home. They are very little supported or resorted to + here; the religious and respectable part of the community + disapprove of them. There is a general prejudice against them, and + they are even preached against; so that they are entirely in the + hands of a few gentlemen of fortune, who keep them up, partly for + their amusement, and partly with a view to the improvement of the + breed of horses in this country. The running is said to be very + good, the show is nothing.... However, I am going, and therefore + you may look hereafter to hear--what you shall hear now--because + I'm just come back, and am happy to inform you that my friend's + husband's horse won the race. The stake was only £2000--no very + great matter--but still enough to make the result interesting, if + not important; though I think the hazard we ran of our lives at + starting was the most exciting part of the day. + + The racecourse is on Long Island, and, to reach it, one crosses the + arm of the sea that divides that strip of land from New York in a + steam ferryboat. All these transports were so thronged to-day with + carriages, horses, and a self-governed, enlightened, and very free + people, that in all my life I never saw anything so frightful as + the confusion of the embarking and disembarking.... + + Dr. Channing was talking to me the other day of Harriet Martineau's + writings, and has sent me "Ella of Garvelock," recommending it + highly as an interesting story, though he does not seem to think + Miss Martineau's principles of political economy sufficiently sound + to make her works as useful upon that subject, or to do all the + good which she herself evidently hopes to produce by these + tales.... + + God bless you, dear friend! I am ever most truly yours, + + F. A. K. + + + NEW YORK, Sunday, June 24, 1833. + + Great was my surprise, dear Mrs. Jameson, to find accompanying your + letter of April 9th a card of Mr. Jameson's. My father called upon + him almost immediately, but had not the good fortune to find him at + home, and I presume he is now gone on to Canada, whither we are + ourselves proceeding, and where we may very possibly meet him. Our + spring engagements are all over, and we are now going away from the + hot weather to Niagara, into which, if all tales be true, I expect + to fall headlong, with sheer surprise and admiration; after which I + shall accompany my father to Montreal and Quebec, where we shall + resume our professional labors.... + + I am very sorry you have been ill. You do not speak of your eyes, + from which I argue that you were not painfully conscious of the + existence of those valuable luminaries at the time you wrote.... + + The accounts, public and private, that we receive of the state of + England are not encouraging, and the trouble seems such as neither + Tory, Whig, nor even Radical, can cure. You talk of bringing out a + colony to this country; bring out half of England, and those who + starve at home will have to eat, and to spare, here. How I do wish + our poor laboring people could be made to know how easily they + might exchange their condition for a better one! + + I wish you could have heard what my father was reading to us this + morning out of Stewart's "North America;" not Utopian dreams of + some imaginary land of plenty and fertility, but sober statements + of authentic fact, telling of the existence of unnumbered leagues + of the richest soil that ever rewarded human industry an + hundredfold; wide tracts of lovely wilderness, covered with + luxuriant pasture, and adorned profusely with the most beautiful + wild flowers; great forests of giant timber, and endless rolling + prairies of virgin earth, untouched by ax or plow; a world of + unrivaled beauty and fertility, untenanted and empty, waiting to + receive the over-brimming populations of the crowded lands of + Europe, and to repay their labor with every species of abundance. + It is strange how slow those old-world, weary, working folk have + hitherto been to avail themselves of God's provision for them + here.... You tell me you are working hard, but you do not say at + what. Innumerable are the questions I have been asked about you, + and a Philadelphian gentleman, a very intelligent and clever + person, who is a large bookseller and publisher here, bade me tell + you that you and your works were as much esteemed and delighted in + in America as in your own country. He was so enthusiastic about you + that I think he would willingly go over to England for the sole + purpose of making your acquaintance. + +[It is a pity that the American law on the subject of copyright should +have rendered Mr. Carey's admiration of my friend and her works so +barren of any useful result to her. Any tolerably just equivalent for +the republication of her books in America would have added materially to +the hardly earned gains of her laborious literary life.] + + I am already half moulded into my new circumstances and + surroundings; and though England will always be home to my heart, + it may be that this country will become my abiding-place; but if + you come out to Canada we shall meet on this side of the Atlantic + instead of the other.... + + Believe me ever yours truly, + F. A. K. + + + TO MISS FITZHUGH. + + MONTREAL, July 24, 1833. + MY DEAREST EMILY, + + Within the last fortnight we have progressed, as we say in this + country, over about nine hundred and fifty miles of land and water. + We have gone up the Hudson, seen Trenton, the most beautiful, and + Niagara, the most awful, of waterfalls. As for Niagara, words + cannot describe it, nor can any imagination, I think, suggest even + an approximate idea of its terrible loveliness. I feel half crazy + whenever I think of it. I went three times under the sheet of + water; once I had a guide as far as the entrance, and twice I went + under entirely alone. If you fancy the sea pouring down from the + moon, you still have no idea of this glorious huge heap of tumbling + waters. It is worth crossing the Atlantic to see it.... As I stood + upon the brink of the abyss when I first saw it, the impulse to + jump down seemed all but an irresistible necessity, and but for the + strong arm that held mine fast I think I might very well have taken + the same direction as the huge green glassy mountain of water that + was pouring itself headlong into--what no eye can penetrate. It + literally seemed as if everything was going down there, and one + must go along with everything. The chasm into which the cataract + falls is hidden by dense masses of snowy foam and spray, rising in + an everlasting creation of cloud up into the sky, and vailing the + frantic fury of the caldron below, where the waves churn and tread + each other underfoot in the rocky abyss that receives them, in + darkness which the sun's rays cannot penetrate nor the strongest + wind for a moment disperse; a mystery, of which its thousand voices + reveal nothing. It is nonsense writing about it--seeing and hearing + are certainly, in this case, the only reasons for believing. I + think it would be delightful to pass one's life by this wonderful + creature's side, and quite pleasant to die and be buried in its + bosom.... + + We left that wonderful place a few days ago, steamed across Lake + Ontario, came down the rapids of the St. Lawrence in an open boat, + sang the Canadian boat song, and are now safe and sound, only half + roasted, in his Majesty's dominions. Of all that we have seen, + Niagara is, of course, the old object beyond all others, but we + were delighted with the softness and beauty of a great deal of the + scenery that we saw in traversing the State of New York--one of + twenty States, not the largest of the twenty, but large enough to + hold England in its lap. + + The rapids of the St. Lawrence, though, I believe, really rather + dangerous to descend, have so little appearance of peril that I + derived none of the excitement I had expected, and which a little + danger always produces, from going through them. Instead of + shooting down long sheets of rushing water, which was what I + expected, we were tossed and tumbled and shaken up and down, in the + midst of a dozen conflicting currents and eddies, which break the + whole surface of the river into short pitching waves, and dance + about in frantic white whirligigs, like the circles of the bad + nuns' ghosts, in Meyerbeer's devilish Opera.... + + Good-by, my dearest Emily. I am always affectionately yours, + + F. A. K. + + + STEAMBOAT ST. PATRICK, ON THE ST. LAWRENCE, + August 17, 1833. + MY DEAREST H----, + + There is lying in my desk an unfinished letter to you, begun about + a week ago, which is pausing for want of an opportunity to go on + with it; but here I am, a prisoner in a steamboat, destined to pass + the next four and twenty hours on the broad bosom of the St. + Lawrence, and what can I do better than begin a fresh chapter to + you, leaving the one already begun to be finished on my next + holiday. My holidays, indeed, are far from leisure time, for when I + have nothing to do I have all the more to see; so that I am as busy + and more weary than if I were working much harder. + + We have been staying for the last fortnight in Quebec, and are now + on our way back to Montreal, where we shall act a night or two, and + then return to the United States, to New York and Boston.... The + greater part of these poems of Tennyson's which you have sent me we + read together. The greater part of them are very beautiful. He + seems to me to possess in a higher degree than any English poet, + except, perhaps, Keats, the power of writing pictures. "The + Miller's Daughter," "The Lady of Shalott," and even the shorter + poems, "Mariana," "Eleänore," are full of exquisite form and color; + if he had but the mechanical knowledge of the art, I am convinced + he would have been a great painter. There are but one or two things + in the volume which I don't like. "The little room with the two + little white sofas," I hate, though I can fancy perfectly well both + the room and his feeling about it; but that sort of thing does not + make good poetry, and lends itself temptingly to the making of good + burlesque. + + I have much to tell you, for in the last two months I have seen + marvelous much. I have seen Niagara. I wish you had been there to + see it with me. However, Niagara will not cease falling; and you + may, perhaps, at some future time, visit this country. You must not + expect any description of Niagara from me, because it is quite + unspeakable, and, moreover, if it were not, it would still be quite + unimaginable. The circumstances under which I saw it I can tell + you, but of the great cataract itself, what can be told except that + it is water? + + I confess the sight of it reminded me, with additional admiration, + of Sir Charles Bagot's daring denial of its existence; having + failed to make his pilgrimage thither during his stay in the United + States, he declared on his return to England that he had never been + able to find it, that he didn't believe there was any such thing, + and that it was nothing but a bragging boast of the Americans. + + At Albany, our first resting-place from New York, we had been + joined by Mr. Trelawney, who had been introduced to me in New York, + and turned out to be the well-known friend of Byron and Shelley, + and author of "The Adventures of a Younger Son," which is, indeed, + said to be the story of his own life. + +[His wild career of sea-adventure with De Ruyter, who was supposed to +have left him at his death all his share of the results of their +semi-buccaneering exploits, his friendship and fellowship with Byron and +Shelley, the funeral obsequies he bestowed upon the latter on the shore +of the Gulf of Spezzia, his companionship in the mountains of Greece +with the patriot chief Odysseus, and his marriage to that chief's +sister, are all circumstances given with more or less detail in his +book, which was Englished for him by Mary Shelley, the poet's widow, who +was much attached to him; Trelawney himself being quite incapable of any +literary effort which required a knowledge of common spelling.... He was +strikingly handsome when first I knew him, with a countenance habitually +serene, and occasionally sweet in its expression, but sometimes savage +with the fierceness of a wild beast. His speech and movements were slow +and indolently gentle, his voice very low and musical, and his utterance +deliberate and rather hesitating; he was very tall, and powerfully made, +and altogether looked like the hero of a wild life of adventure, such as +his had been. I hear he is still alive, a very wonderful-looking old +man, who sat to Millais for his picture, exhibited in 1874, of the "Old +Sea-Captain."] + + We all liked him so well that my father invited him to join our + party, and travel with us to Niagara, whither he was bound as well + as ourselves. He had seen it before, and though almost all the + wonders of the world are familiar to him, he said it was the only + one that he cared much to see again. + + We reached Queenstown on the Niagara River, below the falls, at + about twelve o'clock, and had three more miles to drive to reach + them. The day was serenely bright and warm, without a cloud in the + sky, or a shade in the earth, or a breath in the air. We were in an + open carriage, and I felt almost nervously oppressed with the + expectation of what we were presently to see. We stopped the + carriage occasionally to listen for the giant's roaring, but the + sound did not reach us until, within three miles over the thick + woods which skirted the river, we saw a vapory silver cloud rising + into the blue sky. It was the spray, the breath of the toiling + waters ascending to heaven. When we reached what is called the + Niagara House, a large tavern by the roadside, I sprang out of the + carriage and ran through the house, down flights of steps cut in + the rock, and along a path skirted with low thickets, through the + boughs of which I saw the rapids running a race with me, as it + seemed, and hardly faster than I did. Then there was a broad, + flashing sea of furious foam, a deafening rush and roar, through + which I heard Mr. Trelawney, who was following me, shout, "Go on, + go on; don't stop!" I reached an open floor of broad, flat rock, + over which the water was pouring. Trelawney seized me by the arm, + and all but carried me to the very brink; my feet were in the water + and on the edge of the precipice, and then I looked down. I could + not speak, and I could hardly breathe; I felt as if I had an iron + band across my breast. I watched the green, glassy, swollen heaps + go plunging down, down, down; each mountainous mass of water, as it + reached the dreadful brink, recoiling, as in horror, from the + abyss; and after rearing backward in helpless terror, as it were, + hurling itself down to be shattered in the inevitable doom over + which eternal clouds of foam and spray spread an impenetrable + curtain. The mysterious chasm, with its uproar of voices, seemed + like the watery mouth of hell. I looked and listened till the wild + excitement of the scene took such possession of me that, but for + the strong arm that held me back, I really think I should have let + myself slide down into the gulf. It was long before I could utter, + and as I began to draw my breath I could only gasp out, "O God! O + God!" No words can describe either the scene itself, or its effect + upon me. + + We staid three days at Niagara, the greater part of which I spent + by the water, under the water, on the water, and more than half in + the water. Wherever foot could stand I stood, and wherever foot + could go I went. I crept, clung, hung, and waded; I lay upon the + rocks, upon the very edge of the boiling caldron, and I stood alone + under the huge arch over which the water pours with the whole mass + of it, thundering over my rocky ceiling, and falling down before me + like an immeasurable curtain, the noonday sun looking like a pale + spot, a white wafer, through the dense thickness. Drenched through, + and almost blown from my slippery footing by the whirling gusts + that rush under the fall, with my feet naked for better safety, + grasping the shale broken from the precipice against which I + pressed myself, my delight was so intense that I really could + hardly bear to come away. + + The rock over which the rapids run is already scooped and hollowed + out to a great extent by the action of the water; the edge of the + precipice, too, is constantly crumbling and breaking off under the + spurn of its downward leap. At the very brink the rock is not much + more than two feet thick, and when I stood under it and thought of + the enormous mass of water rushing over and pouring from it, it did + not seem at all improbable that at any moment the roof might give + way, the rock break off fifteen or twenty feet, and the whole huge + cataract, retreating back, leave a still wider basin for its floods + to pour themselves into. You must come and see it before you die, + dear H----. + + After our short stay at Niagara, we came down Lake Ontario and the + St. Lawrence to Montreal and Quebec. Before I leave off speaking of + that wonderful cataract, I must tell you that the impression of awe + and terror it produced at first upon me completely wore away, and + as I became familiar with it, its dazzling brightness, its soothing + voice, its gliding motion, its soft, thick, furry beds of foam, its + vails and draperies of floating light, and gleaming, wavering + diadems of vivid colors, made it to me the perfection of loveliness + and the mere magnificence of beauty. It was certainly not the + "familiarity" that "breeds contempt," but more akin to the "perfect + love" which "casteth out fear;" and I began at last to understand + Mr. Trelawney's saying that the only impression it produced on him + was that of perfect repose; but perhaps it takes Niagara to + mesmerize him. + +[The first time I attempted to go under the cataract of Niagara I had a +companion with me, and one of the local guides, who undertook to pilot +us safely. On reaching the edge of the sheet of water, however, we +encountered a blast of wind so violent that we were almost beaten back +by it. The spray was driven against us like a furious hailstorm, and it +was impossible to open our eyes or draw our breath, and we were obliged +to relinquish the expedition. The next morning, going down to the falls +alone, I was seduced by the comparative quietness and calm, the absence +of wind or atmospheric disturbance, to approach gradually the entrance +to the cave behind the water, and finding no such difficulty as on the +previous day, crept on, step by step, beneath the sheet, till I reached +the impassable jutting forward of the rock where it meets the full body +of the cataract. My first success emboldened, me to two subsequent +visits, the small eels being the only unpleasant incident I encountered. +The narrow path I followed was a mere ledge of shale and broken +particles of the rock, which is so frayable and crumbling, either in its +own nature, or from the constant action of the water, that as I passed +along and pressed myself close against it, I broke off in my hands the +portions of it that I grasped.] + + A few miles below the falls is a place called the whirlpool, which, + in its own kind, is almost as fine as the fall itself. The river + makes an abrupt angle in its course, when it is shut in by very + high and rocky cliffs--walls, in fact--almost inaccessible from + below. Black fir trees are anchored here and there in their cracks + and fissures, and hang over the dismal pool below, most of them + scathed and contorted by the fires or the blasts of heaven. The + water itself is of a strange color, not transparent, but a pale + blue-green, like a discolored turquoise, or a stream of verdigris, + streaked with long veins and angry swirls of white, as if the angry + creature couldn't get out of that hole, and was foaming at the + mouth; for, before pursuing its course, the river churns round and + round in the sullen, savage, dark basin it has worn for itself, and + then, as if it had suddenly found an outlet, rushes on its foaming, + furious way down to Ontario. We had ridden there and alighted from + our horses, and sat on the brink for some time. It was the most + dismal place I ever beheld, and seemed to me to grow horribler + every moment I looked at it: drowning in that deep, dark, + wicked-looking whirlpool would be hideous, compared to being dashed + to death amid the dazzling spray and triumphant thunder of Niagara. + +[There are but three places I have ever visited that produced upon me +the appalling impression of being accursed, and empty of the presence of +the God of nature, the Divine Creator, the All-loving Father: this +whirlpool of Niagara, that fiery, sulphurous, vile-smelling wound in the +earth's bosom, the crater of Vesuvius, and the upper part of the Mer de +Glace at Chamouni. These places impressed me with horror, and the +impression is always renewed in my mind when I remember them: +God-forsaken is what they looked to me.] + + I do not believe this whirlpool is at all as generally visited as + the falls, and perhaps it might not impress everybody as it did me. + + Quebec, where we have been staying, is beautiful. A fortress is + always delightful to me; my destructiveness rejoices in guns and + drums, and all the circumstance of glorious war. The place itself, + too, is so fiercely picturesque--such crags, such dizzy, hanging + heights, such perpendicular rocky walls, down to the very water's + edge, and such a broad, bright bay. The scenery all round Quebec is + beautiful, and we went to visit two fine waterfalls in the + neighborhood, but of course to us just now there is but one + waterfall in the world.... God bless you, dear! + + Ever affectionately yours, + F. A. K. + + + TO MRS. JAMESON. + + NEW YORK, Tuesday, October 15, 1833. + + You are wandering, dear Mrs. Jameson, in the land of romance, the + birthplace of wild traditions, the stronghold of chivalrous + legends, the spell-land of witchcraft, the especial haunt and home + of goblin, specter, sprite, and gnome; all the beautiful and + fanciful creations of the poetical imagination of the Middle Ages. + You are, I suppose, in Germany; intellectually speaking, almost the + antipodes of America. Germany is now the country to which my + imagination wanders oftener than to any other. Italy was my wishing + land eight years ago, but many things have dimmed that southern + vision to my fancy, and the cloudier skies, wilder associations, + and more solemn spirit of Germany attract me more now than the + sunny ruin-land.... + + I shall not return to England, not even to visit it now--certainly + never to make my home there again. "The place that knew me will + know me no more," and you will never again have the satisfaction of + coming to me after a first night's new part to say all manner of + kind things about it to me. My feelings about the stage you know + full well, and will rejoice with me that there is a prospect of my + leaving it before its pernicious excitements had been rendered + necessary to me by habit. Yet when I think of my "farewell night," + I cannot help wishing it might have taken place in London, before + my own people, who received my first efforts so kindly, and where I + stood in the very footprints, as it were, of my kindred.... Thank + you for your long and entertaining letter, and for the copy of the + second edition of "Shakespeare's Women." You cannot think how + extremely popular you are in this country. A lady assured me the + other day, that when you went to heaven, which you certainly would, + Shakespeare would meet you and kiss you for having understood, and + made others understand, him so well. If ever you do come to this + side of that deep, dividing ditch, which you speak of as not an + improbable event, you will find as much admiration waiting for you + here as you can have left behind; whether it is equally valuable, + it is for you to judge.... I have seen Niagara since last I wrote + to you, and it was in a balcony almost overhanging it that I saw + your husband, and that he gave me long accounts of your literary + plans. + + Dear Mrs. Jameson, this is a short and stupid letter, but I have + been working awfully hard, and have not been well for the past + month, and am not capable of much exertion. It is quite a novelty + to me, and not an agreeable one, to feel myself weak, and worn out, + and good for nothing. Good-by; write to me from some of your + halting-places, and believe me ever yours truly, + + F. A. K. + + I noted the altered frontispiece of my little book. + + + BOSTON, April 16, 1834. + DEAR MRS. JAMESON, + + I received a kind and interesting letter from you, dated "Munich," + some time past, and lately another from London, telling me of the + alarm you experienced with regard to your father's health, and your + sudden return from Germany, which I regretted very much, for + selfish as well as sympathetic motives. You were not only enjoying + yourself there, but were gathering materials for the enjoyment of + others; and I am as loath to lose the benefit of your labors as + sorry that your pleasant holiday was thus interrupted. + + It is now probable, unless the Atlantic should like me better going + than it did coming, and that it should take me to its bosom, that I + may be in London in July, when I hope I shall find you there.... I + am coming back to England, after all, and shall, I think, remain on + the stage another year.... + + I received, a few days ago, a letter from dear H----, in which she + mentioned that you had an intention of writing a memoir or + biographical sketch of "the Kemble family," in which, if I + understood her right, you thought of introducing the notice which + you wrote for Hayter's drawings of me in Juliet. She said that you + wished to know whether I had any objection or dislike to your doing + so, and I answered directly to yourself, "None in the world." I had + but one fault to find with that notice of me, that it was far too + full of praise; I thought it so sincerely. But, without wishing to + enter into any discussion about my merits or your partiality, I can + only repeat that you are free to write of me what you will, and as + you will; but, for your own sake, I wish you to remember that + praise is, to the majority of readers, a much more vapid thing than + censure, and that if you could admire me less and criticise me + more, I am sure, as the housemaids say, you would give more + satisfaction. However, keep your conscience by you; praise or + blame, it is none of my business. Talking of that same Juliet, I + received a letter from Hayter the other day which gave me some + pain. He tells me that he has all those sketches on his hands, and + asks me if I am inclined to take them of him. I fear his applying + to me, at such a distance, on this subject, is a sign that he is + not prosperous or doing well. He is an amiable, clever little man, + and I shall feel very sorry if my surmise proves true. My father + wishes to have the collection, and I shall write to tell him so + forthwith. + + It is no slight illustration to me of the ephemeral nature of the + popularity which I enjoyed, to think that those drawings, which, as + works of art, were singularly elegant and graceful, should go + a-begging for a purchaser. Verily "all is vanity!" + +[My friend, Lord Ellesmere, purchased the series of drawings Mr. Hayter +made from my performance of Juliet; and on my last visit to Lady +Ellesmere at Hatchford, she pointed them out to me round a small hall +that led to her private sitting-room, over the writing-table of which +hung a miniature of me copied from a drawing of Mrs. Jameson's by that +charming and clever woman, Miss Emily Eden.] + + You will be sorry for me and for many when I tell you that our + good, dear friend Dall is dangerously ill. I am writing at this + moment by her bed.... This is the only trial of the kind I have + ever undergone; God has hitherto been pleased to spare all those + whom I love, and to grant them the enjoyment of strength and + health. This is my first lonely watching by a sick-bed, and I feel + deeply the sadness and awfulness of the office.... Now that I am + beginning to know what care and sorrow really are, I look back upon + my past life and see what reason I have to be thankful for the few + and light trials with which I have been visited. My poor dear + aunt's illness is giving us a professional respite, for which my + faculties, physical and mental, are very grateful. They needed it + sorely; I was almost worn out with work, and latterly with anxiety + and bitter distress. + + We terminated our last engagement here on Friday last, when the + phlegmatic Bostonians seemed almost beside themselves with + excitement and enthusiasm: they shouted at us, they cheered us, + they crowned me with roses. Conceive, if you can, the shocking + contrast between all this and the silent sick-room, to which I went + straight from the stage.... + + Surely, our profession involves more intolerable discords between + the real human beings who exercise it and their unreal vocation, + than any in the world!... In returning to England, two advantages, + which I shall value much, will be obtained: a fortnight's rest + during the passage, and, I hope, not quite such hard work when I + resume my labors.... As for the hollowness and heartlessness of the + world, by which one means really the people that one has to do with + in it, I cannot say that I trouble my mind much about it. In their + relations with me I commit every one to their own conscience; if + they deal ill by me, they deal worse by themselves.... I hope you + may be in London when we reach it. Farewell. + + I am ever yours truly, + FANNY KEMBLE. + + + NEW YORK, Thursday, April 24, 1834. + MY DEAR H----, + + This will be but a short letter, the first short one you will have + received from me since we parted. Dear Dall has gone from us. She + is dead; she died in my arms, and I closed her eyes.... I cannot + attempt to speak of this now, I will give you all details in my + next letter. It has been a dreadful shock, though it was not + unexpected; but there is no preparation for the sense of desolation + which oppresses me, and which is beyond words.... I wrote you a + long letter a few days ago, which will perhaps have led you to + anticipate this. We shall probably be in England on the 10th of + July.... The sole care of my father, who is deeply afflicted, and + charge of everything, devolves entirely on me now.... We left + Boston on Tuesday.... I act here to-night for the first time since + I lost that dear and devoted friend, who was ever near at hand to + think of everything for me, to care for me in every way. I have + almost cried my eyes out daily for the last three months; but that + is over now. I am working again, and go about my work feeling + stunned and bewildered.... + + I saw Dr. Channing on Monday; he has just lost a dear and intimate + connection. With what absolute faith he spoke of her! Gone! to the + Author of all good. That which was good must return to Him. It is + true, and I believe it, and know it; but at first I was lost.... + God bless you, dear H----. We shall meet erelong, and in the midst + of great sorrow that will be a great joy to + + Yours ever affectionately, + F. A. K. + + We have buried dear Dall in a lonely, lovely place in Mount Orban's + Cemetery, where ---- and I used to go and sit together last spring, + in the early time of our intimacy. I wished her to lie there, for + life and love and youth and death have their trysting-place at the + grave. + + * * * * * + +My aunt died in consequence of an injury to the spine, received by the +overturning of our carriage in our summer tour to Niagara. + + * * * * * + +I was married in Philadelphia on the 7th of June, 1834, to Mr. Pierce +Butler, of that city. + + + +THE END. + + +INDEX. + + +Aberdeen, Lord, Lawrence's picture of, 217. + +Abbot, Mr., his failure as _Romeo_, 197, 199; + a tumble, 243; + helping Covent Garden, 464. + +Abbotsford, appearance after Scott's death, 264, 265. + +"Abbot, The," 402. + +Abeken, 339. + +Aberdeen, Lord, 326. + +Abingdon, Mrs., 258. + +"Adam Blair," 444. + +Addlestone, 105, 418, 420. + +_Adorni_, in "The Maid of Honor," 391. + +_Age, The_, 170; + its editor thrashed by Charles Kemble, 310. + +Alaba, General, 486. + +Alfieri, 66. + +Algeciras, 293. + +Allen, Sir William, 526, 527, 529. + +Allison, 142. + +Alvanley, Lord, contrasted with Stephenson, 456. + +Amelia, Princess, presents a necklace to Mrs. Charles Kemble, 449. + +America, incident of Fanny Kemble's last public reading in, 223, 277; + talking of going to, 425; + what it was _not_, 426; + Fanny Kemble's thoughts of, 483; + climate of, 535; + landing at New York, 535; + flies and mosquitoes, 541; + horse-racing in, 577. + +"Andromaque," 68, 419. + +Angerstein's Gallery, 475, 484. + +"_Anglaises pour rire, Les_," 66. + +"Anna Bolena," 428, 444. + +Anglo-Saxons, John Kemble's history of, 505. + +Anson, Colonel, 302. + +"Antonio," 351. + +Antonio, Countess St., 101, 338. + +Antonio, Marc, 528. + +Apsley House, windows smashed, 461. + +Ardgillan, 111, 133, 240, 253, 273, 289, 290, 318, 329, 348, 363, 457. + +Ariel, Goethe compared with, 338. + +Arkwright, Mrs. Robert, 29; + Robert, 22. + +Arnold, Mr., 336; + speeches on theatre patents, 339. + +Art, a few words on, 476. + +"Artaxerxes," Miss Sheriff's _début_ in, 464. + +Artist Life in England, 5. + +Arundel, House of, 265. + +Ashburton, Lord and Lady, 302. + +Ashley, Wm., Earl of Shaftesbury, married to Miss Bailey, 357. + +Augustine, 426. + +Augustin's Gallery, 442. + +Austen, Jane, 103; + her novels, 441. + +Assisi, Francis de, 426. + +Aston Hall, 278. + +Aston, Clinton, 298. + + +Bacon, Mr., 88, 125; + his abusive critique in the _Times_ of Fanny Kemble's acting, 464, 481; + Editor of the _Times_, 519. + +Bagot, Sir Charles, denial of the existence of Magara, 582. + +Bailie, 488. + +Baillie, "Count Basil," 342. + +Baillie, Miss Joanna, writes the part of "Jane de Montfort" especially +for Mrs. Siddons, 349. + +Ballantyne, Scott's notes to, 260; + his unfavorable criticisms of Fanny Kemble, 262, 265. + +Baltimore, appearance of, 560; + beauty of its women, 562. + +Balzac, "Scenes of Parisian Life," 72, 93. + +Bannisters, 271, 451, 454. + +Barham, his comical poem on "Henri Trois," 484; + critique of "Katharine of Cleves," 493. + +Baring, Mr. and Lady Harriet, 302. + +Bartley, timidity about success of "The Hunchback," 377; + hearing Knowles read "The Hunchback," 390; + plan for a new theatrical speculation in Covent Garden, 553; + "cutting" "The Star of Seville" for the Stage, 495. + +Barton, 293, 326. + +Bath, 256, 416. + +Batthyany, Count, 299, 302; + Countess, 302. + +Bayard, 506. + +Bayley, Miss, marriage to Earl of Shaftesbury, 357. + +_Beatrice_, 336, 341, 344, 516. + +Beauclerc, the young ladies, chaperoned by Duchess of St. Albans, 392. + +Beaufort, drives the coach, 330. + +Beau, Madame le, 491. + +Becher, Lady, (see O'Neill, Miss), anecdotes of, 194. + +Becher, Sir (William Wrixon), married to Miss O'Neill, 195. + +Bedford, Duke of, 347. + +Beechey, Sir William, 393. + +"Beggar's Opera, The," Miss Sheriff in, 471. + +Bellamy, Mrs., rivalry with Garrick, 452. + +Bellini, 100. + +_Belvidera_, first dress for, 208; + Fanny Kemble's dislike of the part, 236; + her second part, 235, 336; + in London, 460, 469. + +Belvoir Castle burned, 46. + +Belzoni, Madame, 37. + +_Benedict_, 426. + +Bennett, as _Laval_, 508; in "Francis I.," 509. + +Bentham, Jeremy, 122; + his philanthropy, 137; + John Kemble's admiration for, 180. + +Beowulf, 503. + +Berquin, Juvenile dramas, 2. + +Berry, the Misses, 106. + +Bessborough, 47. + +Biagio's Preface to Dante, 448. + +Biagioli, 58. + +_Bianca_, 325, 332, 523; + Mrs. Kemble's opinion of Fanny Kemble in, 333, 386, 414, 469, 474, 483; + Fanny Kemble's best part, 483; + her first play in New York, 536. + +Birmingham, 278. + +Bishop, the murderer, 462. + +Bishop, his opera "Cortex," 86. + +Blackheath, 251. + +Blackshaw, Mrs., 37. + +Blackwood, Mrs., 47, 173. + +Blaise Castle, 426. + +Blangini, 59. + +Boaden, his life of Sarah Siddons, 128. + +"Bonaparte," the play, 366. + +Bonaparte, Napoleon, 364; + melodrama on his life, 399; + at St. Helena, Fanny Kemble's verses on, 441; + letters to Joséphine, 462. + +Bonheur, Rosa, 345. + +"Borderers, The," 508, 509, 513. + +Bordogni, 276. + +Boston, enthusiasm at Fanny Kemble's farewell engagement, 588. + +Bouilland, Mr., experiments on Brains, 418. + +Boulogne, Fanny Kemble at school at, 26; + farewell to, 31. + +Bourbon, the Younger of the Orleans branch, 277. + +Boyd, 293, 479. + +Bradshaw, Mrs. (Maria Tree), in "Hernani" at Bridgewater House, 376; + in _Clari and Mary Copp_, 396, 497. + +Braham, 97; + sings "Tom Tug," 395. + +Brain, anatomy of the, 528. + +Brand, Mr., 346. + +Brandon, 286. + +Bridgewater House, 374; + "Hernani" at, 376; + first rehearsal of "Hernani" at, 396. + +Brighton, 256, 324, 325, 327, 466. + +Bristol, 416; + market at, 424; + Abbey church, 425; + unprosperous business, 428; + trouble at theatre, 432. + +British Canada, 346. + +Brougham, Lord, in Charles Kemble's suit, 88, 142, 332; + his mother, 344, 459; + a man of steel, 474. + +Browning, Robert, 126; + compared with Shelley, 384; + "Blot on the Scutcheon" and Pippa Passes, _ib._ + +Brunet, in "_Les Anglaises pour Rire_," 66. + +Bruno, 426. + +Brunswick, Caroline of, Princess of Wales, 251. + +Brunswick, Duke of, at Brunswick House, 422. + +Brunton, manager of theatre at Bristol, in trouble, 431; + his benefit, 433; + effort by Charles Kemble's Company to help him, 433; + in prison, 434. + +Brunton, Miss (Lady Craven), 292. + +Bryant, William Cullen, poetry of, 545. + +Buckingham Gate, see Jones Street, 168, 267. + +Buckinghamshire, 277, 297, 304, 305. + +Budna, 302. + +Burney, Dr., 327. + +Burk, the murderer, 462. + +Burns, Robert, 80, 161; + adversely criticised, 335. + +Bury St. Edmunds, 108; + Henry Kemble at, 482. + +Butler, Lady Eleanor, 345. + +Butler, Pierce, marriage to Fanny Kemble, June 7, 1834, 590. + +Byng, Frederick, 485; + a long call, 485. + +Byron, Lord, 104, 110, 165; + "Cain," 165, 333; + "Manfred," 165, 333; + peculiar combination of vices and virtues, 166; + pernicious influence on the young, 167, 270; + play of "Werner," 308; + Mrs. John Kemble's impressions of, 330; + "Don Juan," 333; + "Lucifer," 333; + "Childe Harold," 333; + Sundry opinions on, 333; + his works compared with Hope's "Anastasius," 337. + +Byron, Lady, her influence on Mrs. Jameson, 129; + her appearance, 130; + deprecates the publication of a new edition of Byron's works, 167. + + +Calcott, Lady, 506. + +Calcutta, Henry Kemble, Collector of the Port of, 323. + +Calderon, 293. + +_Caliban_, 338. + +_Calista_, in "The Fair Penitent," 318; + a failure, 318, 323, 325. + +Cambridge, Duchess of, 303. + +Camden Place, 13. + +"Camiola," Fanny Kemble in, 255, 257, 367, 385, 388, 391. + +Campbell, his life of Sarah Siddons, 128; + life of Lawrence, 239; + the poet, 242; + "Pleasures of Hope," 358; + application to Mrs. Fitzhugh for Mrs. Siddons' letters, 451; + life of Mrs. Sarah Siddons, 504. + +Candia, M. de, see Mario, 497. + +Canizzaro, Duchess of, 101. + +Canning, Lawrence's picture of, 217. + +Carey, admiration for Mrs. Jameson's works, 579. + +Carlisle, Lord, 418. + +Carlo, 505. + +Carlyle, his article in _Edinburgh Review_, 80; + biography of Sterling, 185. + +Cartwright, Mr., 320; + a pleasant evening at his house, 395. + +Cassiobury Park, 90, 305, 397, 400. + +Castlereagh, Lord Grey, haunted by a vision of, 474. + +Catalani, her last public appearance, 162; + her last appearance, 163. + +Catons, The, Lady Wellesley's father and mother, 562. + +Catskills, 103. + +Cavaliers, Ancient _vs._ Modern, 527. + +Cavendish, Miss, on the _stay-at-home_ sensation, 393. + +Cavendish, Col. and Lady, 471. + +Cawse, Miss, in "Artaxerxes," 465. + +Célimène, 258. + +Cenci, Beatrice, 302. + +Chambers, the Brothers, 161; + "Vestiges of Creation," _ib._ + +Channing, Essay on Milton, 337; + view of man's nature, 362; + his adversaries, 433; + on the relative merits of England and America, 539, 559; + appearance of, 576; + theatrical opinions, 576; + opinion of Miss Martineau's writings, 578; + infinite faith in a dead friend's happiness, 589. + +Chantrey, 345; + Sir Francis, his design of vase presented to Charles Kemble, 354. + +"Characters of Shakespeare's Women," Mrs. Jameson's book on, 275. + +_Charles de Bourbon_, Kemble as, 508. + +Charles X., 276. + +Charles I., his resting-place at Edge Hill, 278. + +Charles II., 308. + +Charles, King, martyrdom of, 499. + +Charles X., King of France, 522. + +Charlotte, Queen, 449. + +Chateaubriand, 166. + +Chartier, Alin, 462. + +Chatmoss, 279; + drained and healthy, 530. + +Cherubino, 391. + +Chester, 277. + +Chesterfield, Countess of, 302; + as an equestrian, 471. + +Cholera, in Edinburgh, 500; + in London, 502; + in Liverpool, 529; + in Boston, 534; + in Philadelphia, _ib._; + in Baltimore, _ib._; + in New York, _ib._ + +"Cibber's Lives," 462. + +Clairon, 8; + Garrick's opinion of, 446. + +Clanwilliam, Lord, Lawrence's picture of, 422. + +Clarendon, Lord, puts Horace Twiss in Parliament, 87; + the Grove, 90, 102; + influence in getting Horace Twiss into Parliament, 335. + +_Clari_, Mrs. Bradshaw in, 396. + +Class Prejudice to Actors, 65. + +Clay, Henry, 549; + Fanny Kemble's Letters of Introduction to, 561. + +Cleopatra, Queen, as a dramatic writer, 447. + +Clifford, Lord de, 426. + +Clint, picture of Cecilia Siddons, 405. + +Clive, Mrs. Archer, 153. + +Cobb, Mrs. and Miss, 211. + +Cobbe, Miss, her theory on the future existence of animals, 321. + +Cobbett, article on in the _Examiner_, 435. + +Cockrell, 9. + +Coleridge, 124. + +Collins' "Ode to the Passions," Liston reciting, 460. + +Colnaghi, 243. + +Combe, Cecilia, 151. + +Combe, George, "the Apostle of Phrenology," 151; + author of "Constitution of Man," _ib._ + +Combe, Andrew, 151; + works upon physiology, hygiene, and education of children, 154; + combing, 155; + his age, 157; + his anecdote of Scott's "feudal insanity," 265, 316, 412; + on climbing, 420; + lectures in the Phrenological Museum, 527; + "Constitution of Man," 530. + +Communion service, 401. + +_Constance_ selected for Fanny Kemble's benefit, 359; + success of, 361, 417; + Mrs. Siddons' sketch of, 517. + +"Constitution of Man," 151, 530. + +Contat, Mlle., 258. + +Cooper, Fenimore, "The Borderers," 508, 509; + compared with Charles Kemble in "Venice Preserved," 544. + +Cornwall, Barry, 124, 345, 353. + +Cork, Lady, 254, 289, 372; + vivacity at an advanced age, 379; + curious arrangement of her drawing-room, _ib._; + "Ancient Cork," _ib._; + "Memory," _ib._; + idea of heaven, _ib._; + propensity for taking that which was not hers, 381, 389; + little parties of, 391; + a noisy conversation, 519. + +"Corrombona, Vittoria, Duchess of Bracciano," 353. + +Cottin, Madame, 332. + +Coutts, Mr., his fortune, 391. + +Coutts, Miss Burdett, recipient of all Mr. Coutts' fortune, 392. + +Covent Garden Chambers, 17, 25. + +Covent Garden Theatre, Charles Kemble's partnership in, 35, 36; + Weber at, 37; + Charles Kemble's liabilities in, 107; + a woman wanted, 123; + Covent Garden to be sold at auction, 186; + Theatre patent assailed, 339; + cutting down salaries, 463; + ruined at last, 509; + farewell to, 520; + turned into an opera house, 521; + burned down, _ib._ + +Crabbe, as an unpoetical poet, 385. + +Cramer, 321. + +Craven Hill, 31, 32. + +Craven, Lady, 292. + +Craven, Mr., in "Hernani," at Bridgewater House, 376; + in "Hernani," 396, 399, 404. + +Croly, 390. + +Croton water in New York, 537. + +Cromwell, marks of his cannon at Edge Hill, 278. + +Cumberland, Duke and Duchess of, at Bridgewater House, 422. + +Cunard, Samuel, 176. + +Cunarosa, 101. + + +Dacre, Lord, 11, 348, 357. + +Dacre, Lady, 341, 344; + her accomplishments, 345; + her play of "Isaure," 382; + her play "Wednesday Morning," 390, 393: + in trouble about "Wednesday Morning," 394; + objections to language in "The Star of Seville," 423, 498, 504. + +Dall, Aunt (see Kemble, Adelaide). + +Dance, Miss, 35. + +Dante, "The Intellect of Love," 391; + "Devils boiled in pitch," 437; + Biagio's Preface to, 448. + +"Darnley," 370. + +Daru's "History of Venice," 466, 471, 506, 513. + +Davenport, Mrs., the _Nurse_ in "Romeo and Juliet," 219, 305. + +Davy, Sir Humphry, 461, 498. + +Dawkins, Major, 362; + desire for a good picture of Fanny Kemble, 366. + +Dawson, Miss, 316. + +Dawson, Rt. Hon. George, 316. + +Day, Mr., picture of an Italian Madonna, 442. + +De Camp, Captain, goes to England, 2; + death, 6. + +De Camp, Adelaide, 257; + dislike to seeing Fanny Kemble act, 490; + death, 589; + burial in Mount Orban's Cemetery, 590. + +De Camp, Marie Theresa (see Kemble, Mrs. Charles). + +De Camp, Victoire, 24; + governess at Blackheath, 251. + +Delane, 88. + +"De Montfort," 349. + +Derby, Lord, incident with Miss Farren in "School for Scandal," 452. + +"Der Freyschütz," 94, 99. + +Descuillier, Madame, 51, 445. + +_Desdemona_, Mme. Pasta in, 428. + +Dessauer, 245. + +"Destiny," 389. + +Deterioration, Artistic, 570. + +Devonshire, Duke of, 22. + +Devonshire House, 361. + +Dévy, Madame, 491. + +"Diary of an Ennuyée," 123. + +"Dick," picture of Fanny Kemble, 113, 131. + +Dickens, 167. + +Didear, Mr., unkind reception in Edinburgh, 323. + +"Dionysius," 239. + +Donkin, Lord Mayor, 398. + +"Donna Sol," 472. + +Donne, Wm., 183. + +Dorchester, start for, 449; + arrival at, _ib_. + +Dorval, Madame, 65. + +Dover, 250. + +Dramatic writers, women as, 446. + +Drury Lane Theatre, 173; + patents assailed, 339, 376. + +Dublin, 254; + Fanny Kemble at, 270; + incident before leaving for London, 272; + her departure from, 273. + +"Duchess of Pagliano," 353. + +_Duchess of Guise_, 420. + +Dufferin, Lady, 173, 175. + +Du Lac, Sir Launcelot, 327. + +Dumesnil, Garrick's opinion of in _Phoebe Rodogund_ and _Hermione_, 446. + +Dunbarton, 267. + +Dupré, 545. + +Duraset, Mr., generosity in helping Covent Garden, 464. + +Dyce, Rev. Alexander, 255. + + +Eckermann, 338. + +Edge Hill, Charles I.'s resting-place at, 278. + +_Edinburgh Review_, 142. + +Edinburgh, 144, 257, 259; + coldness of its audiences, 261, 290, + Fanny Kemble's last days in, 528; + cholera in, 500. + +Edinburgh Castle, regalia of Scotland in, 261. + +"Education of the People, The," 388. + +Edward I., 277, 297. + +Egerton, Lord Francis, see Ellesmere. + +Egerton, Lady Blanche, 270. + +Egerton, Mr., declining the proposed accommodation at Covent Garden, 464. + +Eldon, Lord, Chancellor in Charles Kemble's suit, 88. + +Elizabeth, Queen, 255, 316. + +Elizabeth, Princess, at Bridgewater House, 422. + +Ellesmere, Earl and Countess of, 77, 82, 270; + Fanny Kemble's first friendship with, 374; + his epilogue to "Hernani," 412; + Hayter's picture of Fanny Kemble for, 412; + her high esteem for Lord Carlisle, 418; + translation of "Henri Trois," 420; + taking Mr. St. Aubin's part in "Hernani," 421; + purchases Hayter's drawings of Fanny Kemble in _Juliet_, 588. + +Ellis, letter from Lord Macaulay to, 344. + +England, Queen of, 233. + +England, King of, not particularly brilliant, 456. + +Essex, Countess of, 21. + +Essex, Earl of, 2, 90, 104, 397. + +Essex, Lady, 21; + befriending a street-singer, 435. + +_Estrella_, in "The Star of Seville," 514. + +_Euphrasia_, Mrs. Siddons and Fanny Kemble as, 236, 238, 322, 480, 483. + +_Evander_, John Kemble as, 239. + +Evans, 17. + +Everett, Edward, about sermons in general, 433. + +Evolena, Mount, 84. + +_Examiner, The_, 435. + +Exeter, start for, 448; + arrival at, _ib_. + +"Exquisites, The," 395. + +Extravagance of the Americans in flowers, 540. + + +Faith, Religious, 476. + +Falkland, Lady, anecdote of her picture at Royal Academy, 393. + +Farleigh, a comic actor, 472. + +Farquhar's, Lady, party at, 506. + +Fauldes tragedy, 466. + +"Faust," 138, 339. + +Farren, Miss, 258, 301; + awkward incident with Lord Derby, 452. + +Faudier, Madame, 26, 30. + +"Fazio," 323, 325, 331; + Fanny Kemble's first appearance in, in America, 572. + +Fechter as _Hamlet_, 25; + his "get up" of _Othello_, 191; + "Bel Demonio," 353. + +Fénelon, 426. + +Ferguson, Sir Adam, 260, 261, 262. + +Ferrier, Miss, author of "Marriage" and "Inheritance," 260; + "Destiny," 389. + +"Fine People," 455. + +Fires in New York, 537. + +Fitzgerald, Edward, 183. + +Fitzgerald, Mrs., 342, 504. + +Fitzhugh, Emily, 362, 365, 451; + emotion at meeting Charles Kemble at Plymouth, 451; + Mrs. Siddons' letters, 477. + +Fitzhugh, Mrs., 82. + +Fitzpatricks, The, Hayter's picture of, 487. + +Flaxman, 109. + +Flore, Mlle., 26. + +Flowers, American extravagance in, 540. + +Foix, Gaston de, 506. + +Forbes, 108. + +Ford's "White Devil," 353. + +Forest, M. de la, his accounts of Malibran, 203. + +Forrester, Annie, Isabel, and Cecil, 302. + +Forster, Johann Georg, 347. + +Foscolo, Ugo, 345. + +Foster, 91, 397, 400. + +Foster, Mrs., 276. + +Fouqué, La Motte, 80. + +Fozzard, Capt., 232, 389; + riding-school, 471. + +"Fra Diavolo," Miss Sheriff in, 469. + +France, thoughts of living in the south of, 392. + +"Francis I.," correcting the metre, 341, 350, 355, 357, 396; + sold to Wm. Murray for £4000, 482; + its publication, 497; + Murray's desire to publish without last scene, 503; + its effect when read in the greenroom of Covent Garden Theatre, 503; + the cast altered, 503; + preface to, 504; + cast upset the second time, 504; + prologue, 505; + postponed for a fortnight, 510; + its popularity due to the indulgence and curiosity of London + audiences, 518; + played for first time, 525, 526. + +Francis, Lord, his play "Henri Trois" postponed, 469. + +_Françoise de Foix_, Fanny Kemble as, 529. + +French Revolution of 1830, the, 276. + +Fry, Mrs., her visits to Newgate, 413. + + +Gainsborough, his painting of Mrs. Siddons, 162. + +Gall, his philosophy of phrenology, 151. + +"Gamester, The," 269, 427, 440; + at Plymouth, 446; + at Southampton, 454; + Charles Kemble in, 524. + +Garcia, Marie (see Malibran), as an artist, actress and singer, 203; + the sisters Malibran and Pauline Viardot, their accomplishments, 206. + +Garrick, his costume in "Macbeth," 190; + opinion of Clairon and Dumesnil, 446; + rivalry with Mrs. Bellamy, 452. + +Genius, what is it? 477. + +Genlis, Madame de, 2. + +George IV., anecdote of his picture at Royal Academy, 393; + at the Weymouth Theatre, 449. + +Gerard street, 33. + +Ghosts, something about, 133. + +"Giovanni di Procida," 472. + +Giardano, 442. + +Gibraltar, 326, 336. + +Gibson, 302. + +"Gilbert Gurney," 170. + +Glasgow, the audiences at, 267. + +"Glenarvon," 46. + +Glengall, Lady, 460. + +Gloucester, Duchess of, 413. + +Gloucester, Duke and Duchess of, 422. + +Godwin, 473. + +Goethe, 80; + "Tasso," 139, 166, 169, 351, 178; + his self-experimentalizing in "The Sorrows of Werther," 337; + "Faust" and "Wilhelm Meister," 339; + his nature, 338; + partiality in delineating character, 338. + +Gonsalvi, Cardinal, 270. + +Gower, Lord Francis Leveson, 300. + +Grahame, Lady, 173. + +Grammont, Duc de, his two children, 522. + +Grammont, Ida de, Duchesse de Guyche, 522. + +Grande Place, 27. + +Granville, Dr., 344. + +Great Russell Street, 267. + +"Grecian Daughter," Ward in, 243, 484. + +Gregory, Wm., 158. + +Grey, Earl, 347. + +Greville, Charles, statement about Miss Tree in his "Memoirs," 201. + +Greville, Lady Charlotte, 418, 419, 486; + a "Swarry" at her house, 491. + +Greville, Henry, 396, 471, 496; + as an amateur singer, 497; + his sensibilities, 486. + +Grey, Lady, as an equestrian, 471. + +Grey, Lord, haunted by a vision of Lord Castlereagh, 474; + responsibility in Reform Bill matters, 494. + +Grimani, the sisters, 251. + +Grimani, Bellini, 251. + +Grimani, Julia, 251. + +Grosvenor, Lady Octavia, 270. + +Grote, Mrs., 277. + +Guilford, his seat at Wroxton Abbey, 388. + +Guinevre, 327. + +Guirani, 24. + +Guyce, Duchesse de, 522 + +Guy's Cliff, 106. + +Gwynn, Nell, 308. + + +Hallam, Arthur, 183; + essay on the philosophical writings of Cicero, 514; + death of, 185. + +Hamilton, Wm., 271. + +Hamilton, Sir Ralph, and Lady, 405. + +Hamlet, his feigned (?) madness, 327; + and Hecuba, 486. + +Handel, 95, 97. + +Harris, 107. + +Harness, Rev. Wm., 235; + opinions of "The Cenci," 334; + discussion of one of Hope's theories, 337, 342; + biography, 349, 363, 415, 459; + "The Wife of Antwerp," 475; + play delayed at Covent Garden, 506; + criticism of "Star of Seville," 514. + +Harness, Mary, 486, 498. + +Hare, Julius, biography of Sterling, 185. + +"Harlequin and Davy Jones," 320. + +Harlow, 327; + picture of Mrs. Siddons in "Queen Katharine," 459. + +Harris, Charles Kemble shaking hands with, 414. + +Harris, Mr., inclined to come to some accommodation with Charles +Kemble, 463. + +Hatchford, Fanny Kemble and Lady Ellesmere at, 375. + +Hatfield House, "Isaure" acted at, 382, 394; + old lady burned to death in, 497. + +Hathaway, Anne, 182. + +Hatherton, Lady, 216. + +"Haunted Tower, The," 500. + +Haydon's "Bonaparte at St. Helena," Fanny Kemble's verses on, 441. + +Hayter, George, 487. + +Hayter, John, his sketches of Fanny Kemble as _Juliet_, 128, 235; + portrait of Henry Kemble, 197; + picture of Fanny Kemble for Lord Ellesmere, 412; +his portraits of Mrs. Norton and the Fitzpatricks, 487; + wishes to sell his sketches of Fanny Kemble in _Juliet_, 588. + +Havley, Mr., declining the proposed accommodation at Covent Garden, 464. + +Hazlitt, 124. + +Heath Farm, 90, 109, 251, 303. + +Heaton, 277; + Charles Kemble invited to, 291, 295, 297; + evenings at, 300. + +_Hecuba_ and _Hamlet_, 486. + +Heidelberg, 284, 294. + +Hemans, Mrs., 297, 358. + +"Henri Trois," 420, 469; + production at Covent Garden postponed, 469; + Lord Leveson's translation of, 484. + +"Henry VIII.," Mrs. Siddons in, 459. + +Herodias' Daughter, 264. + +"Hernani," 365, 374: dresses for, 395; + at Bridgewater House, 396, 399; + rehearsing at Oatlands, 404; + dress-rehearsal for, at Bridgewater House, 405; + a third representation, 413. + +Hertfordshire, see Heath Farm. + +Highflyer, The, 330. + +Hindoo Theatre, 178. + +Hill, Lord, influence to get Henry Kemble his commission, 502. + +"History of Venice," 466. + +Hoffman, 29. + +Hogarth, 258; + pictures by, 422. + +Hogg, 142. + +Holbein's painting of "Queen Katharine," 459. + +Holland, Lord, 177. + +Holland, Lady, death of, 177. + +"Holy Family, The," 475. + +Honiton, Vale of, 449. + +Hook, Theodore, anecdotes of, 170, 172. + +Horner, 142. + +Horsley, 395. + +Hope, Mr., his residence near Scott's, 265; + his theory respecting the destiny of the human soul, 337; + "On the Nature and Immortality of the Soul," 494; + death of, 337. + +Hopwood Hall, 277, 297. + +Hosmer, Miss, 302. + +Howick, Lord, 347. + +Huber, Madame, 347. + +Hughes, Dr., witnessing _Juliet_, 199. + +Hugo, Victor, 116; + "Hernani," 374; + "Notre Dame de Paris," 498. + +Human soul, destiny of, 337. + +Hume, Baron, 161; + his manner to ladies, 527. + +Hummel, 321, 395. + +"Hunchback, The," 376; + entire success of, 378; + contrasted with "Romeo and Juliet," 378, 385, 390, 412, 512, 517, 558. + +Hunt, Leigh, 383. + +Hunt, Mr., quoting the Bible in the House of Commons, 498. + +Huskisson, Mr., death on Stephenson's new railroad, 298; + news of his death at Manchester, 304, 344; + death-place marked by a tablet, 530. + + +Ilfracombe, a trip to, 434. + +"Imogen," 243. + +Inchbald, Mrs., amusing anecdotes of, 212. + +"Inconstant, The," Fanny Kemble as _Bizarre_ in, 547. + +"Inez de Castro," 323, 342, 354. + +Inglis, Sir Robert, incident of, 493. + +Inverarity, Miss, engaged at the Dublin Theatre, 399, 400, 488. + +"Invincibles, The," 383. + +Ireland, 254. + +Irving, Washington, 560, 564, 572; + the "creaking door," 573; + _Isabella_, Fanny Kemble as, 253, 414; + at Plymouth, 445, 472, 479; + +"Isaure," 382. + + +Jacobite, A, 261. + +Jackson, Andrew, Fanny Kemble's letters of introduction to, 561; + unpopularity in 1832, 549. + +_Jaffir_, Charles Kemble in, 336. + +James I., 255. + +James, King, saving of his life by the "Douglas woman," 490. + +James Street, 114, 168. + +Jameson, Mr. Robert, 128. + +Jameson, Mrs., 123, 124; + acquaintance with Lady Byron, 127; + public lectures, 130; + protests against _Juliet's_ costume, 189; + selection of _Juliet's_ costume, 191; + _avant propos_ of Fanny Kemble in _Juliet_, 234; + notice of Fanny Kemble in _Juliet_, 235; + letter from Fanny Kemble at Glasgow, 259; + drawing of the rooms at James street, 266; + her troubles, 266; + water-color sketches, 268; + book on Shakespeare's female characters, 359, 513, 531; + threatens to write a play, 394; + Christina, 499; + biographical sketch of the Kemble family, 587. + +Jawbone, the Kemble, 345. + +Jealousy, a few words about, 474, 483. + +Jeffrey, 142, 261. + +Jephson, Dr., 106. + +"Jew of Aragon, The," 305. + +Jig Dancing, 269. + +_John Bull, The_, 170. + +John the Baptist, 264. + +Jones, Sir William, 178. + +Jordan, Mrs., 327; + her natural son by William IV., 228. + +Journal, 1831, 390. + +_Julia_, in "The Hunchback," 377, 385. + +_Juliana_, 437. + +_Juliet_, chosen for Author's first appearance, 187; + her costume for first appearance in, 188; + Lawrence and Hayter's sketches of Fanny Kemble in, 234; + Fanny Kemble's opinion of, 438. + +Julius, Pope, 506. + + +"Katharine, Queen," 457, 458. + +"Katharine of Cleves," Lord Francis Leveson's translation of +"Henri Trois," 481, 484, 489, 490; + first acting of the play, 491; + critiques upon, 493; + "more interesting than any thing of Shakespeare's," 94, 496, 499; + its popularity waning, 503; + awkward incident while playing, 505. + +Kant, 346. + +Keats compared to Tennyson, 581. + +Kean at the English Theatre in Paris, 115, 118; + in "Merchant of Venice," 119; + Shakesperean revivals, 191; + non-acceptance of a part in "The Hunchback," 376, 429; + in _Othello_, _Shylock_, and _Sir Giles Overreach_, 430, 440; + effect of his acting, 477; + _Othello_, 478. + +Kemble, Adelaide, 17; + "Aunt Dall," 18, 23; + nurses Fanny Kemble through sickness, 132, 277, 297. + +Kemble, Charles, 36, 112, 114; + at the English Theatre at Paris, 115; + success in Paris, 117; + in _Falstaff_, 123; + property almost gone, 135; + in Edinburgh, 138; + arrested the first time, 168; + as _Mercutio_, 193; + acting in "The Gamester," 204; + embraced by Mme. Malibran, 204; + renewal of intercourse with Lawrence, 217; + incident in Dublin, 288; + invitation to Heaton, 291; + thrashing the Editor of the _Age_ newspaper, 310; + acting _Jaffir_ to Fanny Kemble's _Belvidera_, 336; + involved in six lawsuits, 336; + speech about theatre patents, 339; + in "The Hunchback," 377; + as _Sir Thomas Clifford_ in "The Hunchback," 378; + overcome with laughter on the stage, 387; + forgetting a Duchess, 414; + shaking hands with his legal opponent Harris, 414; + intention of going to America, 427; + opinion of Kean, 429; + mistake in rendering _Shylock_, 430; + money seized at benefit in Bristol for Manager Brunton's + debts, 431, 440; + acting at Plymouth in "The Gamester," 446; + enthusiasm over him at Plymouth, 446; + his surprising speech, _ib._; + his health under great trials, 458; + as _Giaffir_, 461; + serious illness, 462; + recovery, 466; + relapse, 467; + still worse, 469; + again recovering, 472; + compared with Kean, 477; + as _Benedict_, 478; + recovery, 481; + breaks his nose while skating, 490; + an unfortunate compromise at Covent Garden, 513; + bowed down with care and trouble, 515; + refusing to act in "The Hunchback," 517; + examination before the House of Commons, 520; + twice arrested, 522; + farewell at Covent Garden, 529; + his estate in St. Giles', 536; + beginning in New York with _Hamlet_, 536; + his _Romeo_ and _Mercutio_ compared, 542; + compared to Cooper in "Venice Preserved," 544; + likely to have to die abroad, 567. + +Kemble, Mrs. Charles (Maria Therese de Camp), 2, 3, 4, 6, 65, +98, 109, 112, 118; + at Drury Lane, 173; + opinion of a stage costume, 190; + her failing health, 193; + returns to the stage after an absence of twenty years, 219; + her interest in Fanny Kemble's _Juliet_, 225, 267; + arrival of in Manchester, 277; + delicacy, 294; + physical organization, 311; + effect of reading Moore's "Life of Byron," 330; + rage at a picture of her husband, 345; + compared to Mrs. John Kemble, 358; + ill health, 371; + great pathetic and comic powers, 386; + "Francis I." dedicated to, 399; + moving the furniture, 464; + her horror of the sea, 482. + +Kemble, Frances Anne, born 1809, 8; + Newman Street, _ib._; + Westbourne Green, _ib._; + childish freaks, 10; + at school at Mrs. Twiss' at Cambridge Place, 13; + punning from Shakespeare, 16; + return to London at Covent Garden Chambers, 17; + picture then said to be mine, 17; + question as to my being born there, 17; + anecdote with Talma, 25; + went to school in France, 26; + early pranks, 26; + childhood petulance, 27; + taken to an execution, 27; + childhood terrors, 29; + daily excursions, 30; + yearly distribution of prizes, 30; + residence at Craven Hill, 31; + leaves Boulogne, 31; + lodging in Gerard Street, 33, 34; + visit from Uncle Kemble, 34; + about Scott, Milton and Shakespeare, 36; + first visit to Lausanne, 36; + musical education, 37; + contemplating suicide, 43; + goes to Paris, 44; + at school in the Rue d'Angoulême, 44; + meets Lord Melbourne, 47; + goes to hear Mr. César Malan, 49; + impressions of Drs. Channing, Dewey, Bellows, Furness, Follen, Wm. and + Henry Ware, Frederick Maurice, Dean Stanley, Martineau and Robertson, + 49; + school life at Mrs. Rowden's, 54; + schoolmates, _ib._; + a companion's funeral, 55; + reading Byron on the sly, 57; + my music and dancing masters, 58; + passion for dancing, 63; + private theatricals, 67; + first indications of dramatic talent, 70; + a new home in the Champs Elysées, 70; + an old-fashioned wedding, 72; + home from school, 74; + cottage at Weybridge, 75; + passion for fishing, 78; + taken with smallpox, 82; + harness for gracefulness, 85; + a robbery, 89; + trip to Hertfordshire, 90; + first meeting with H---- S----, 91; + "Der Freyschütz," 94; + presentation to Mendelssohn, 96; + spoken of to the Queen, 96; + return to Heath Farm, 101; + Trenton Falls, 102; + love for books, 103; + our house at Bayswater, 106; + letters from Bayswater, 107; + offered £200 for first play, 114; + the play of "Francis I." finished, 16; + thoughts of a comedy, 118; + sees "Merchant of Venice" for first time, 119; + visits West India Docks and Thames Tunnel, 120; + MSS. in the fire, 122; + thoughts of going on the stage, 123; + read "Diary of an Ennuyée" for first time, 124; + Longing for Italy, 124; + acquaintance with Mr. and Mrs. Montagu, 129; + picture by "Dick," "There's plenty of it, Fan," 131; + ill of measles, 131; + desire to say something _from_ myself, 131; + ghosts, 132; + convalescence, 132; + considering a means of livelihood, 135; + about marrying, 136; + going on the stage, 137; + projected works, 138; + _first ball_, 140; + admiration for Mrs. Henry Siddons, 143; + love for Edinburgh, 145; + a touching incident, 147; + a Scotch Venus, 149; + raspberry tarts, 152; + sitting to Lawrence Macdonald for bust, 152; + "Grecian Daughters," 152; + an old-fashioned house, 156; + a partisan of Charles Edward, 156; + an unlucky speech, 156; + great esteem for Dr. Combe, 155; + intimacy with Harry Siddons, 157; + incident of Scottish regalia, 157; + at Mr. Combe's house, 158; + listens to Chambers Brothers' story of poverty, 161; + a jolly face for a tragic actress, 162; + Mons Meg and Madame Catalani, 162; + observance of Sunday, 163; + a natural _turn_ for religion, 164; + give up Byron's poetry, 165; + a new tragedy, "Fiesco," 168; + return to London, 168; + religious zeal, 170; + singing with Moore, 173; + begins a visit to England in 1841, 175; + meeting Sir Samuel Cunard, 176; + through London in 1845, on way to Italy, 176; + renewal of intercourse with Mrs. Norton, 177; + talks about the Hindoo Theatre, 178; + plans for helping my father, 179; + goes to Scotland, 180; + destroying H.'s letters, 181; + German abandoned, 181; + a few words about Shakespeare, 182; + admiration for young Tennyson's poems, 184; + the theatre to be sold, 186; + life rather sad, 186; + "brought out" as _Juliet_, 188; + a badly dressed _Juliet_, 189; + preparations for first appearance, 189; + my opinion of _Portia_, 187 + preparing for a _début_, 191; + a constant admirer, 197; + awkward incident with Mr. Abbot, 199; + "Jove, Fanny, you are a lift!" 200; + interest in Malibran, 203; + acting as _Mrs. Beverley_ in "The Gamester" in Manchester, 204; + a strange scene between my father and Madame Malibran, 204 + a little advice from Malibran, 204; + resemblance to Madame Malibran, 205; + translate De Musset's lament for Malibran, 206; + restore the ending to "Romeo and Juliet," 207; + danger of falling in love with Lawrence, 209; + sitting for portrait to Lawrence, 209; + a sudden glimpse of Satan, 214; + first copy of "Paradise Lost," 215; + a deplorable act of honesty, 217; + preparing for _début_, 218; + ideas of beauty, 218; + _début_ in "Romeo and Juliet," 220; + first watch, 221; + impression of moral danger, 222; + a disappointed "puffer," 223; + popularity in America, 224; + incident of last public reading in America, 224; + tenth edition of "Francis I.," 225; + income during first professional years, 226; + first salary at Covent Garden, thirty guineas weekly, 226; + acquaintances behind the scenes, 227; + dancing with a queer clergyman, 229; + a cold ride from Boston, 231; + riding lessons, 232; + portrait by Lawrence and sketches by Hayter, 234; + likeness to Mrs. Sarah Siddons, 235; + appearance in "Grecian Daughter," 236; + mourning for Lawrence, 237; + dress as _Euphrasia_, 238; + "Shetland pony," 240; + altering last scene of "Grecian Daughter," 241; + annoyance of being stared at, 242; + a tumble in the "Grecian Daughter," 243; + a summer tour, 244; + in "The Gamester," 245; + stage nervousness, 245; + first appearance as _Portia_, 247; + fright as _Portia_, 249; + happiness of reading Shakespeare, 249; + love for dancing, 252; + delight in _Portia's_ costume, 252; + acting _Isabella_ at John Kemble's benefit, 253; + compared with Mrs. Siddons and Miss O'Neill, 234; + farewell to London, 256; + as _Mrs. Haller_, 254; + impressions of Bath, 257; + audiences not so friendly out of London, 258; + fortnight at Edinburgh, 259; + at Glasgow, _ib._; + criticism at Glasgow, 260; + breakfasting with Sir Walter Scott, 260: + anecdote of Scottish regalia, 261; + incident with Scott, 262; + Scott's mental triumph over outward circumstances, 263; + visit to Abbotsford, 264; + scenes and incidents at Abbotsford, 264; + visiting Lochs Lomond and Long, 266; + audiences at Glasgow, 267; + new home at Great Russell street, 268; + some portraits, _ib._; + dinner at Lady Morgan's, 269; + life at Bannisters, 271; + at Ardgillan Castle, 273; + about governesses, 275; + about the French Revolution of 1830, 276; + a good audience at Dublin, 276; + a medley of visits, 278; + experimental trip on Stephenson's new railroad, 278; + a ride with Stephenson, 279; + description of a locomotive, 281; + a new sensation, 283; + an idea of religion, 285; + a warm reception in Dublin, 288; + repugnance to work, 298; + a distressing letter from John Kemble, 293; + a West Indian yarn, 295; + at Birmingham, 295; + an exhilarating ride, 298; + Lord Huskisson's death, 298; + evenings at Heaton, 300; + the guests at Heaton, 302; + to Liverpool for the opening of the new railroad, 303; + "The Jew of Aragon," 305; + "The Jew of Aragon" and "Griselda," 306; + failure of "The Jew of Aragon," 307; + consenting to go with Tom Taylor and Charles Reade to see "The King's + Wager" for first time, 308; + thoughts of publishing the plays and verses, 309; + the editor of the _Age_ thrashed, 310; + on drawing and painting, 311; + about managing children, 312; + the _Age_ newspaper, 314; + playing "The Provoked Husband," 315; + failure of "The Fair Penitent," 318; + working on and getting published "The Star of Seville," 319; + dinner at Mr. Cartwright's, 321; + Christmas-eve at Mrs. Siddons', 322; + public opinion about acting with her father, 323; + _Bianca_ in "Fazio," 323; + _Juliet_, _Calista_, _Mrs. Haller_, and _Lady Townley_, 323; + a run around Brighton, 328; + advantage of Mrs. Siddons and Miss O'Neill in their tragic + partners, 336; + the Chancery case again, 331; + a few words about Byron, 331; + about children's letters, 332; + more about Byron, 333; + "Cenci," 334; + "Fazio," _Mrs. Beverley_ and _Belvidera_, 334; + Burns, 335; + acting _Belvidera_, 336; + learning the part of _Beatrice_ in one hour, 336; + Goethe, 338; + discussion as to destiny of human soul, 337; + reading Channing's Essay on Milton, 337; + Goethe's love for Madame Kestner, 337; + the journal, 340; + "Francis I.," 341; + a pleasant party, 342; + a little sculpture, 343; + the Reform Bill, 344; + the Kemble jawbone, 345; + production of "Francis I." an annoyance, 350; + the "White Devil," 353; + benefit at Covent Garden, 356; + playing _Lady Macbeth_, 357; + playing _Belvidera_, 357; + _Constance_, for a benefit, 359; + success in _Constance_, 360; + portrait by Mr. Pickersgill, 362; + "Chiedo sostegno," 365; + Pickersgill, Lawrence, and Turnerelli, 365; + about _Portia_ and _Camiola_, 369; + in want of a chapter on, 371; + first friendship with Earl and Countess of Ellesmere, 374; + about management, 373; + on gestures, 373; + a new friendship begun at Bridgewater House, 374; + opinions as to success of "The Hunchback," 376; + in _Mariana_, 377; + opinion of "The Hunchback," 378; + contrasting Shakespeare's _Juliet_ with Knowles' _Julia_, 379; + all about Lady Cork, 379; + about "Old Plays," 385; + Mrs. Charles Kemble's help in leading parts, 386; + developing a gift for comedy, 386; + embarrassing situations when acting with Mr. Kemble, 387; + Massinger's plays compared with some others, 389; + Destiny, _ib._; + "Star of Seville," _ib._; + compared with Lady Salisbury, 394; + finishing "The Star of Seville," 395; + first appearance as _Lady Teazle_, 395; + desire to see Weybridge again, 396; + correcting proof on "Francis I.," 396; + "Reform," 398; + dedicating "Francis I." to Mrs. Charles Kemble, 399; + the communion service, 401; + off for Oatlands, and talks by the way, 402; + dress rehearsal for "Hernani," 405; + Hayter's picture for Lord Ellesmere, 412; + visit to Newgate, 413; + death of Mrs. Siddons, 416; + a summer's arrangements, 416; + "Une Facete," 417; + a royal audience, 422; + about marriage, 423; + talk about dislike to the stage, 432; + a street-singing project, 436; + sombre thoughts about marriage, 437; + opinion of _Juliet_, 438; + at Exeter, 439; + getting fortune told, 440; + love for Weybridge, 441; + verses on Bonaparte at St. Helena, 441; + slippery lodgings, 444; + "King John," Mrs. Siddons in, 446; + women as dramatic writers, 446; + a disagreeable sail, 447; + "fine people" and "not fine people," 455; + failure in _Queen Katharine_, 459; + love for splendor, 460; + "Bonaparte's letters to Joséphine," 462; + cutting down salaries, 463; + a few words about letter-writing, 466; + terrible suspense about Charles Kemble and the theatre, 467; + _Bianca_ as a "golden pheasant," 469; + anxiety about Charles Kemble, 470; + ill from worrying over Charles Kemble, 470; + a serenading incident in the United States, 470; + the wrong side of a show, 472; + at Angerstein's Picture Gallery, 475; + presented to the Duchess of Kent and Princess Victoria, 475; + timorousness when singing, 480; + Charles Kemble's recovery, 481; + thoughts of America, 482; + "La Estrella," 483; + "Katharine of Cleves," 484; + awkward predicament at first acting in "Katharine of Cleves," 491; + "out" for first time in a part, 492; + about the nature and immortality of the soul, 495; + an ugly horse, 496; + well-assorted marriages, 498; + love of nature, 501; + Kemble's publication of his Anglo-Saxon poem of Beowulf, 502; + bad management of "Francis I.," 503; + feeling about "Francis I.," 504; + as the queen-mother in "Francis I.," 508; + sober thoughts for the future, 511; + purchasing Henry's commission from receipts of "Francis I.," + copyright, 515; + H---- S---- off for Ireland, 519; + farewell to Covent Garden, 520; + off for Edinburgh, June 29, 1832, 521; + off for America, 522; + beginning of acquaintance with Liston the surgeon, 524; + acting in "Francis I," first time, 525; + Lawrence's the best picture made of Fanny Kemble, 535; + ancient _vs._ modern cavaliers, 527; + last day in Edinburgh for two years, 528; + from Liverpool to Manchester, 530; + first sight of New York, 533; + beginning work in New York with _Bianca_, 536; + getting fat, 552; + success in America, 560; + picture of Fanny Kemble taken to Alleghany Mountains, 569; + "fitting" American audiences, 569; + playing "Fazio" the first time in America, 572; + engaged to be married, 573; + seeing Niagara, 580; + thoughts of returning to England, 587; + Mrs. Jameson's biography of the Kemble family, 588; + Aunt Dall's illness, 588; + enthusiastic farewell in Boston, 588; + marriage to Pierce Butler, June 7, 1834, 590. + +Kemble, Henry, 17, 18, 108, 111; + his beauty, 140; + plans for his provision, 179; + trying the part of _Romeo_, 196; + return to Paris, 243; + commission in the army, 244, 248; + schooling at Westminster over, 267; + taken to Heidelberg, 284, 294, 297, 305, 357; + ill, 470; + passion for the sea, 481; + to go into the army, 481; + dislike to going to Cambridge, 482; + receives commission in the army, 515; + appointed tithe-collector in Ireland, 546. + +Kemble, Fanny (see Arkwright, Mrs.). + +Kemble, John, 34, 81, 108, 109, 111, 113, 118; + high honors, 119, 122, 137, 177; + determines to enter the church, 179; + leaves Cambridge without a degree, 183; + Lawrence's admiration for, 207; + intention of going into the church, 235; + return from Germany, 243; + his degree at Cambridge, _ib._; + takes his degree, 248; + his wild scheme of aiding Spain, 293; + safe and well, 304; + in Spain, 314, 326; + gone to Gibraltar, 326; + alive and well, 334; + prospects on arrival in England, _ib._; + rumor of imprisonment in Madrid, 336, 356; + prospects, 363, 364; + conflicting reports of, 387; + determination not to leave Spain, 395; + return from Spain, 405; + home from Spain, 405; + translation of a German song, 438; + a sad letter from Spain, 479; + helping Venables to break Thackeray's nose, 490; + history of the Anglo-Saxons, 505. + +Kemble, John Philip, misfortunes as manager of Covent Garden Theatre, 35; + from Lausanne to London, 34; + return to Switzerland, 36; + monument at Westminster Abbey, 60, 109; + as _Rolla_ in "Pizarro," 174; + Lawrence's picture of, 217; + as _Beverley_, 243; + benefit, 253; + his home in Great Russell street, 267. + +Kemble, Mrs. John, 90, 94, 104; + compared with Mrs. Charles Kemble, 358; + illness of, 467. + +Keely, Peter, in "Romeo and Juliet," 219. + +Kelly, Mrs. Charles, 98. + +Kemble, John Mitchell, 17. + +Kemble, Philip, 8. + +Kemble, Mrs. Roger, 1, 2. + +Kemble, Stephen, 19. + +Kemble, Mrs. Stephen, 180. + +Kenilworth, 108. + +Kensington Gravel Pits, 506. + +Kent, Duchess of, 233; + condescension of, 475. + +Kent, Chancellor, on Croton water, 537. + +Kelly, Michael, 500. + +Keppel, Mr., superseded by Charles Kemble in _Romeo_, 542. + +Kerr, Lord Mark, 270. + +Kestner, Madame, Goethe and, 337. + +Kinglake, 126. + +"King Lear," reiteration of expressions of grief, 514. + +King, Lord, Earl of Lovelace, 404. + +Kitchen, Dr., 7. + +Knowles, Sheridan, 366; + his plays, "The Hunchback" and "Virginius," 376; + "The Wife," 377; + reading "The Hunchback" to Mr. and Mrs. Charles Kemble and + Mr. Bartley, 390; + as _Master Walter_, 512. + + +Lablache, 205. + +"La Chronique de Charles Neuf," 422. + +"La Dame Blanche," 492. + +"La Estrella," Fanny Kemble's new play, 483. + +Lady Byron, her general appearance, 130; + deprecates the publication of a new edition of Byron's works, 167. + +Lady Glengall, 460. + +_Lady Macbeth_, 357, 359; + Fanny Kemble to act in, 417. + +_Lady Teazle_, 385; + costume for, 364; + Fanny Kemble's first appearance in, 390, 395; + her fears of failure in, 394. + +_Lady Townley_, 257, 258, 289, 322, 323, 325; + compared with _Lady Teazle_, 399. + +Lake, Admiral, offers to take charge of Henry Kemble, 482. + +Lamartine, 116. + +Lamb, Charles, 124. + +Lamb, Lady Caroline, 45, 46. + +Lamb, William (see Melbourne). + +Lamb's "Dramatic specimens," 385. + +Lancashire, 278. + +Lansdowne, 106. + +Lansdowne, Lord, 175. + +Lansdowne House, 177. + +Lansdowne, gives Mr. Harness position in Land Office, 349; + admiration for Mrs. Sarah Siddons, _ib._ + +Lansdowne, 497. + +Lane, Mr., 240. + +Laporte, lessee of Covent Garden from Charles Kemble, 518; + giving concerts in Covent Garden, 527. + +Lausanne, 34, 90. + +Latour, 37. + +Lawrence, Sir Thomas, friendly relations between and Mrs. Charles Kemble +restored, 207; + admiration for Mrs. Siddons, _ib._; + engagement broken in favor of her younger sister, _ib._; + engaged to Miss Sarah Siddons, 207; + his interest in authors, 208; + criticisms of Fanny Kemble's acting, 209; + "Lawrence is dead," _ib._; + anecdotes of, 210, 215; + painting of Satan, 214; + beautiful drawing-room, _ib._; + merit as a painter, 216; + pictures of Canning, Lord Aberdeen, and Mr. John Kemble, 217; + his want of conscience, _ib._; + print of his portrait of Fanny Kemble, 234; + his criticisms of Fanny Kemble, 237, 239, 320, 327; + lawsuits about theatre patents, 339; + Pickersgill care not to copy, 365; + Duke of Wellington's bitter pill to, 393; + a dangerous companion, 402; + opinion of a Madonna, 242; + picture of Fanny Kemble, the best, 525; + his opinion on theatrical matters, 577. + +Lea, girls' school at, 251. + +Leach, Sir John, 88. + +Leamington, 106, 180. + +Lee, the Misses, adaptation of the "Canterbury Tales" to "Father and +Son," 308. + +Lennox, Lord William, 98. + +Leopold, Prince, at Bridgewater House, 422. + +Le Sage's novels, 422. + +Le Texier, 2, 30. + +Levassor, ludicrous account of "Robert the Devil," 507. + +Leveson, Lord Francis, his new piece, 478; + translation of "Henri Trois," 481; + entertainment at Bridgewater House, 365. + +Lindley, Miss, 173. + +Liston, 7, 20, 21; + reciting Collins' "Ode to the Passions," 460; + compared to Reeve, 508. + +Liston, the surgeon, beginning of Fanny Kemble's acquaintance with, 524; + death, _ib._ + +Liverpool, 277; + railway between and Manchester, 278. + +Llangollen, 345. + +Loch Long, 267. + +Locomotives, the first, 280. + +Lockhart, reviews "Francis I." instead of Millman, 512. + +Lomond, Loch, 266. + +London, cholera in, 502 + farewell to, 522. + +Londonderry, Lord, 398. + +Lope de Vega, sketch of the life and works of, 319. + +Loudham, his hopes of fixing the Chancery suit of Charles Kemble, 463. + +Louis Philippe, 276. + +Louis XI., his ugly secretary Alin Chartier, 462. + +Louis, at Covent Garden Theatre, 521. + +Lucifer, Byron's fancy for the character of, 331. + +Lyndhurst, Lord, 88. + +Lyttleton, Lord ("The Wicked"), 33. + + +Macaulay, Lord, letter to Mr. Ellis, 344; + enthusiasm over John Kemble's book on history of the Anglo-Saxons, 505. + +"Macbeth" contrast with the "Tempest", 292. + +Macdonald, Sir John, 171, 244, 486, 502. + +Macdonald (sculptor), desiring to make a statue of Fanny Kemble, 236, 462; + his collection of sculpture, 343. + +Macdonald, Lady, "Sir John's General," 344, 481. + +Macdonald, James, 489. + +Macdonald, Lawrence, 152. + +Macdonald, Julia, 244. + +Mackay, 442, 488. + +Macready, at the English theatre in Paris, 115; + his opinion of Fanny Kemble, 189; + Shakespearean revivals, 191; + his fine acting in "Werner," 308; + success in "The Fatal Dowry," 318; + in "Rienzi," 354; + in "Virginius," 376; + prophecy come true, 390. + +Madrid, John Kemble a prisoner at, 336. + +Maida, Scott's hound, 263. + +"Maid of Honor, The," success of, 364, 367, 385, 391. + +Malibran, Mme., letters to her husband, 203; + overcome by Charles Kemble's acting, 204; + _début_ and death in England, 205; + her professional popularity, 205; + Alfred de Musset's lament for, 205, 206; + her envy of Sontag, in "Romeo and Juliet," 201. + +Malahide, Lord Talbot de, 346. + +Malebranche, 441. + +Malkin, Arthur, 84. + +Malkin, Benjamin, 84. + +Malkin, Charles, 84. + +Malkin, Dr. and Mrs., 82, 110. + +Malkin, Frederick, 84. + +Malkins, the, 183. + +"Malvolio, thou art sick of conceit," 435. + +Manchester, the Kembles in "The Gamester," 204, 277; + railway between and Liverpool, 278, 284, 291, 303. + +Maple, Durham, the vicar of, 229. + +Marc Antonio, cast of his skull mistaken for Raphael's, 528. + +Marcet, Mrs., 332, 341. + +_Mariana_, Fanny Kemble as, 377. + +Mario (M. de Candee), intimate friend of Henry Greville, 497. + +Marriage, sombre thoughts about, 436. + +Marriage, talk about, 423. + +Mars, Mlle., 90, 258, 420; + in the heroine of "Henri Trois," 484, 564, 565. + +"Marseillaise," Mme. Rachel's rendering of, 436. + +Martineau's, Harriet, "Each and All," 570; + Channing's opinion of her writings, 578. + +_Mary Copp_, Mrs. Bradshaw in, 396. + +"Mary Stuart," 267, 284; + reasons for not playing, 370, 549. + +Maurice, Frederick, 183. + +Mason, "Self-Knowledge," 169; in _Romeo_, 200; + son of Charles Kemble's sister, 259; + first appearance as _Romeo_, 421; + discussion about Kean, 429; + speech to the Bristol audience about helping Brunton in his + troubles, 433; + the King in "Francis I.," 508, 510. + +Mason, Miss, 263. + +Massinger, "Maid of Honor," 255, 257; + "Fatal Dowry," 318; + "Maid of Honor" proposed for Fanny Kemble's "benefit," 358; + plays compared with some others, 389. + +_Master Walter_, character in "The Hunchback," 377. + +Mathews, Charles, 39, 170. + +"Mathilde," 332. + +Matterhorn, 85. + +Matuscenitz, 299. + +Mayow, Mrs., 322. + +Maxwell, 157; + anecdote of one of that family, 261. + +Mayo, Mrs., a brave woman, 471. + +Mazzochetti, 26. + +McLaren, Duncan, 158. + +Meadows, Mr. Drinkwater, 505. + +"Medea," 400. + +Megrin, St., 420. + +Melbourne, Lord (William Lamb), 45, 46, 47, 347, 357. + +"Merchant of Venice," 248. + +Mellon, Miss (see St. Albans, Duchess of). + +Mendelssohn, 96, 507. + +"Merchant of Venice," 119, 351. + +_Mercutio_, 483; + Charles Kemble in, after his sickness, 480 + +Mersey, the, its ancient wanderings, 282. + +Meteoric lights, 145. + +Meyerbeer's "Robert the Devil," 507. + +Mill, John S., 122; + John Kemble's admiration for, 180. + +Millais' picture of Trelawney as the "Old Sea Captain," 582. + +Milnes, Richard M., 183. + +Milman, Mrs., 184. + +Milman's "Fazio," 323, 331; + his pleasure at Fanny Kemble's rendering of _Bianca_ in "Fazio," + 334, 341, 390; + to review "Francis I." in _Quarterly Review_, simultaneously with its + appearance on the stage, 502. + +Milton, 36, 273; + compared with Byron, 331; + Channing's essay on, 337; + Mrs. Siddons' admiration for, 416. + +_Miranda_, 252, 269. + +Mitchell, charge of all Fanny Kemble's readings in America, 224. + +Mitford, Mary Russell, 45; + "Inez de Castro," 323; + negotiations with management of Covent Garden about + "Inez de Castro," 354; + "Our Village," 416. + +Molière, 258. + +Monceaux Parc, 63. + +Monckton Miss (Lady Cork), 379. + +Monk's Grove, 418. + +Mons Meg, a famous old gun, 162. + +Monson, 90. + +Monson, Lady, 397, 400. + +Montagu, Mr. and Mrs., 124. + +Montagu, Mrs., "Our Lady of Bitterness," 126; + crediting others with her wise and witty sayings, 127, 178, 353, 401. + +Montagu Place, 267. + +Monte Rosa, 85. + +Montpensier, Mlle, de, 113. + +Moore, Mrs. Thomas, 159. + +Moore, Tom, 173; + "Life of Byron," 330, 415. + +Morne Mountains, 273. + +Moral Training, 165. + +Morgan, Lady, Irish jig, 269; + French Revolution, 276. + +Moscheles, 321, 395. + +Mott, Lucretia, 543. + +Mount Vernon, 567. + +Mozart's "Nozze," 159. + +_Mrs. Beverley_, 245, 246, 290. + +_Mrs. Haller_, Fanny Kemble in, 315; + her success in, 317, 323, 325; + dress of, 327. + +_Mrs. Oakley_, costume for, 364, 385. + +"Much Ado about Nothing," 518. + +Mulgrave, Lord, 562. + +Murphy, Mrs. Jameson's father, 127; + "Grecian Daughter," 236, 238. + +Murray, Lord, 142. + +Murray, Wm., 142; + joint proprietor of Edinburgh Theatre, 142, 159; + his generous price for "Francis I.," 244, 309; + publishes Fanny Kemble's poems and plays, 314, 324, 332, 334; + £4000 for "Francis I.," 355, 482; + publishing "The Star of Seville," and "Francis I.," 497; + publishes John Kemble's Anglo-Saxon book, 502. + +Musset, Alfred de, "lament for Malibran," 205, 206. + +Music, modern and ancient, 500. + +Mussy, Dr. Gueneau de, 566. + + +Naples, King of, 271; + talk of, 421. + +"Napoleon," 364. + +Napoleon, Louis, 63. + +Napoleon, Duke of Reichstadt, death of, 557. + +Nature, love of, 501. + +Negroes, prejudice against, 542. + +Netherlands, revolt in, 294. + +Neukomm, 321, 395. + +Newgate, Fanny Kemble's visit to, 413; + Mrs. Fry's visits to, _ib._ + +Newman Street, 8. + +Newton, "Cardiphonia," 169. + +Newton, Stewart, anecdotes of, Royal Academy, 393. + +Newton, Gilbert Stewart, "Creaking Door," 573. + +New Year, 1832, 485. + +New York, first sight of, 533; + compared with Paris, 535; + fires in, 537; + water in, 537, 540. + +Niagara, Falls of, 579, 581. + +Nightingale, Florence, 127. + +Nilsson, Mlle., 202. + +Nöel, Sir Gerard, 372. + +Norton, Mrs., 47. + +Norton, George, 174. + +Norton, Mrs., anecdote with Hook, 171, 175, 345, 357, 414, 480; + Hayter's picture, 487, 496, 504, 510. + +Normandy, Lord, 176. + +"Notre Dame de Paris," 498; + "bad in tendency and shocking in detail," 499. + +Notter, Mr., 372. + +Nottingham Castle, 461. + +Nourrit, 462. + +Nugent, Lady, 216. + + +Oatlands, 81, 396, 402, 403, 421, 467, 470. + +"Oberon," 94, 99. + +"Old Plays" compared with "The Gamester," and "Grecian Daughter," 385. + +O'Neill, Miss, 84, 195; + appearance, 196; + in "Evadne, or the Statue," and "The Apostate," 312; + Fanny Kemble compared with, 234. + +Otway's "Venice Preserved," 235. + +Ottley and Saunders, 319. + +Owen, the philanthropist, 316. + + +Paganini, 416, 434, 466. + +Panizzi, 267, 546. + +"Paradise Lost," 59. + +Paris, 276. + +Parliament, 421. + +Pasta, Mme., 428, 441; + Pasta's _Medea_, 400; + _Anna Bolena_, 444. + +Pasta's daughter, 181. + +Paton, Miss, 97, 98, 437. + +Patti, Adalina, 163. + +"Paul Clifford," 286. + +Peaches, in America, 559. + +Peacock, Mr., 110, 119. + +"Pedro the Cruel," 354. + +"Peerage and Peasantry, Tales of the," 348. + +Percival, Mr., in House of Commons, 498. + +Peterborough, Earl of, marriage to Anastasia Robinson, 437. + +Petrarch's sonnets, 346. + +"Philaster," 385. + +Philippe, Mons., 64, 65. + +Phillips, Miss, 464. + +Phrenological Museum, 527. + +Pickersgill, portrait of Fanny Kemble, 362; + portrait of Charles Kemble in _Macbeth_, 366; + picture "Medora," 390. + +Planché, 95. + +Plague, the, 308. + +Plessis, Mlle., 258. + +Plymouth, 416, 443, 444; + farewell to, 44 + +Plymouth Rock, 426. + +Poitier, 66; + in the "Vaudeville," 483. + +Poland, discussion between Charles Kemble and Kean, 440; + early history of, 495. + +Poles, the, 359. + +_Polly_, Miss Sheriff as, 471. + +Ponsonby, Miss, 345. + +Poole, Miss, as _Tom Thumb_, 480. + +_Portia_, 187; + Fanny Kemble's first appearance as, 247, 248; + character of, 248; + costumes of, 249, 336, 352; + compared with _Camiola_, 367, 397, 414; + at Bristol, 431, 532. + +Portland, 450. + +Portmore Park, 388. + +Portsmouth, 451. + +Power, Mr., 485. + +Power, Tyrone, 489. + +Princes Street, incident with Scott on, 262. + +Procter, Adelaide, her "doomed" appearance, 499; + reading description of Esmeralda and sketch of Quasimodo's + life, 499, 516. + +Procter, Bryan Waller (Barry Cornwall), marriage to Anne Skeeper, 353; + "White Devil," 353. + +Proctor, 124, 342. + +Proctor, Mrs., her habit of crediting others with her wise +sayings, 127, 401. + +Proctor, Emily, 401. + +"Prometheus unbound," 496. + +_Prospero_, 252, 338. + +"Provoked Husband, The," 315, 328, 504; + at Southampton, 453; + at Fanny Kemble's benefit, 529. + +Pickersgill, 365. + + +Queen, the, at Bridgewater House, 422. + +"Quentin Durward," 444. + +_Quarterly Review_, its critique of "Francis I.," 516. + + +Rachel, Mlle., her performance of _Camille_, 191; + Jules Janin's first notice of her, 436. + +Racine, 307, 410. + +Radley, Mr., of the Adelphi, 303. + +Railroads in England, 443; + between Liverpool and Manchester, 278. + +Ramahun Roy, the Rajah, 178, 479; + general appearance, 515. + +Raphael, his skull, 528. + +Reade, Charles, "The King's Wager," 308. + +Redcliffe Church, 433. + +Reeve compared with Liston, 508. + +Reform Bill, 344, 394, 459, 460, 478. + +Regalia, Scottish, incident of, 157. + +Reichardt, or Reis, 100. + +Religious faith, 476. + +Retsch's illustrations of "Hamlet," 373; + disinclination for illustrating "Romeo and Juliet," _ib._; + illustrations of "Faust," 374. + +Revolution of 1830, the, 276. + +Revolution, Spanish, 335, 336, 356, 359, 478, 479, 484. + +Rhodez, scene of the Fauldes Tragedy, 466. + +"Richard III.," 119. + +Richter, 80. + +"Rienzi," 354. + +Rigby, Mr., 4. + +Rio, M., 73. + +Ristori, 571. + +Rivens, Lady, 4. + +"Robert the Devil" at Covent Garden, 507; + M. Levassor's ludicrous account of, 507, 509. + +Robertson, Frederick, 168. + +Robinson, Anastasia, marriage to Earl of Peterborough, 437. + +"Rob Roy," 488. + +Rogers, 379, 504 + +"Roman de la Rose." 357. + +"Romeo and Juliet," 257, 342, 414; + at Bristol, 424, 443; + at Weymouth, 449; + at Southampton, 452, 485; + John Mason's first appearance in, 486, 523; + in New York, 542. + +Romilly, Mrs. Edward, 342. + +Romillys, the, 183. + +Rossini, 100. + +Roxelane, 68. + +Rowden, Mrs., 45, 47, 67. + +Russell, Earl, 347, 404; + appearance of, 492; + incident of Sir Robert Inglis, 493; + responsibility in Reform Bill, 494. + +"Rush-bearing," a, 296. + +Ruthven, his proceeding toward Mary Stuart, 489. + +Rutland, Duke of, 22. + +Rye, 521. + + +Sackville, 462. + +"Sacrament," preparation, 403. + +"Sakuntalà," 178. + +De Sales, Francis, 426. + +Salisbury, Lady, in "Isaure," 382; + "Wednesday Morning" at Hatfield House, 394. + +Salmon, 89. + +"Salmonia," 539. + +Sandwich, Earl of, 124. + +Saunders and Ottley, 319. + +Savoy, Louisa of, 509. + +Schiller, 169; + "Mary Stuart," 312. + "School for Scandal," incident of Miss Farren and Lord Derby in, 452; + at Southampton, 454, 487, 498; + in New York, 543. + +Schlegel's "Dramatic Lectures," 486 + +Scotland, regalia of, 261. + +_Scotsman, The_, 158. + +Scott, Anne, 260. + +Scott, Walter, 3, 36, 58, 87, 108, 142,157; + "Border Minstrelsy," 160, 166; + criticisms on Fanny Kemble's acting, 260; + anecdote of Scottish regalia, 261; + opinion of Fanny Kemble as compared with Mrs. Siddons, 262; + incident at Abbotsford, 263, 444; + caution in regard to _Waverley Novels_, 488, 521, 527; + death, 557. + +Scottish Regalia, incident of, 157. + +Scribe's "_Les premières Amours_," 419. + +Searle, Miss, 87. + +Sedgwick's, Miss, "Hope Leslie," 577. + +Semiramis, Queen, as a dramatic writer, 447. + +Sentiment, books of, 506. + +Serenading, 470. + +Sévigné, Madame de, 277, 320. + +Shakespeare, Plays at Paris, 115, 169, 182; + _Portia_, 187; + "Romeo and Juliet," the ending restored, 207; + claim of his plays to perfect representation, 220; + his plays compared with "Grecian Daughter," 238, 247, 255, 260; + compared with Goethe, 338; + "Romeo and Juliet," 342; + treatment of passion of hatred, 351, 389; + _knowing_ and _knowing about_ him, 396; + Mrs. Siddons' admiration for, 416, 486; + discussion about, 522; + beauty of his songs, 505; + reiteration of expressions of grief, 514; + Mrs. Jameson's book on his female characters, issued, 531. + +Shannon, Rev. Win., 164. + +Sharp "conversation," 504. + +Sheil, "Evadne, or the Statue," and "The Apostate," 312. + +Shelley, 166; + his passion for fire-gazing, 325, 334; + the Cenci; + translation of Calderon's "El Magico Prodigioso;" + "Faust," 384; + "Prometheus Unbound," 496, 498; + "The Sensitive Plant," and "Rosalind and Helen," 498; + "The Two Sisters," 499. + +Shelley, Capt., in "Hernani", 404. + +Sheriff, Miss, her _début_, 464; + in "Artaxerxes," 465; +in "Fra Diavolo," 469; + in "Polly," 471. + +Sheridan, Caroline, 174, 178. + +Sheridan, Chas., 173; + manager of Drury Lane, 174, 175, 399, 498. + +Sheridan, Georgiana, 173, 510. + +Sheridan, Mrs. (Miss Callender), 173. + +Sheridan, Richard Brinsley, 173. + +Shirley's "Gentleman of Venice," 513. + +_Shylock_, 351; + analysis of the character, 430. + +Siddons, Cecilia, 91, 94, 108, 123, 180, 239, 323, 400; + picture by Clint, 405; + plans after her mother's death, 416, 466. + +Siddons, Elizabeth, 291. + +Siddons, "Lizzy," 119. + +Siddons, "Sally and Lizzy," 342. + +Siddons, George, 158, 323; Mrs. George, 158 + +Siddons, Harriet, 323. + +Siddons, Henry, management of the Edinburgh Theatre, 142; + death, _ib._; + arrival in India and departure for Delhi, 119, 470. + +Siddons, Mrs. Henry, 140, 141, 143, 158, 164, 180, 193, 259, 261, 286, +291, 305, 359, 364. + +Siddons. Maria, 17, + engaged to Sir Thomas Lawrence, 207; + death, _ib._ + +Siddons, Sarah, 17, 91; + in _Louisa of Savoy_, 117, 129; + painting by Gainsborough, 162; + in _Elvira_, 174; + costume in the "Grecian Daughter," 190; + as _Hamlet_, 200; + Lawrence's admiration for, 207; + wishes to be carried to her grave by Lawrence, 211; + indifference, 223; + Fanny Kemble compared with, 234; + in _Euphrasia_, 236; + shocked at Lawrence's death, 237, 239; + Edinburgh audiences, 261: + repeating _Lady Macbeth_ to an enthusiastic audience, 262; + opinion of, 262; + dearest friend, 270; + in _Mrs. Haller_ and "The Fair Penitent," 318; + Christmas eve at her house, 322, 337; + advantage over Fanny Kemble, 336, 345; + Lord Lansdowne's admiration for, 349, 396; + failing health, 399; + Milton and Shakespeare, 416; + her death, 416; + her abuse of Austria in "King John," 446; + her letters, 452; + _Queen Katharine_, 459; + her letters revised by Emily Fitzhugh, 477; + _Lady Macbeth_, 478; + "sketches" of _Constance_ and _Lady Macbeth_, 517. + +Siddons, Mrs. Scott-, 158. + +Shaw, 60. + +Sismondi, 83. + +Sinclair, 123. + +Skeeper, Anne, marriage to Barry Cornwall, 353. + +Skerries, 273, 329. + +Slavery in America, 543. + +Smart, Sir George, 95, 100, 395. + +Smiles, his biography of Stephenson, 279. + +Smith's "National Scottish Songs," 160. + +Smith, Bobus, 347. + +Smith, James, 86. + +Smith, Sidney, 142, 173, 347, 504 + +Smithson, Miss, 115. + +Solomon, 166. + +Somerset, Duchess of, 173, 510. + +"Sonnambula," 507. + +Sontag, appearance with Malibran in "Romeo and Juliet," 201, 202. + +Sotheby ("the poet"), 350; + "Darnley," 370; + comments on Fanny Kemble's beauty, 370. + +Southampton, 271, 416, 451. + +Spain, 293. + +Spaniards, John Kemble delivered to the, 336. + +Spanish expedition, 326. + +Spanish revolution, 335, 336, 356, 359, 478; + Torrijos and his friends shot, 479. + +Spedding, James, 183. + +Spenser, poetry of, 358. + +Spurzheim, his philosophy of phrenology, 151; + death in Boston, 558. + +Stafford, 92, 113, 297. + +St. Albans, Duke of, marriage, 392. + +St. Albans, Duchess of, Miss Mellon and Mrs. Coutts, 391. + +St. Anne's Hill, 418. + +St. Aubin, Mr., in "Hernani" at Bridgewater House, 376, 396, 421. + +Stansbury, Mr., 472. + +"Star of Seville," 319, 389; + finished, 395; + unbecoming language of, 423, 435, 445, 472, 478, 479. 480; + reading it to the family, 489; + "cut" for the stage, 495; + publication, 497, 514; + brought out first in New York, 554. + +Stein, Madame von, Goethe's letters to, 339 + +Stephens (see Essex, Countess of). + +Stephenson, Geo., first experiment at a railway, 278; + characteristics, 279, 298, 455; + contrasted with Lord Alvanley, 456. + +Sterling, John, 183; + daily promise, 185, 293; + marriage, 326; + in Spanish expedition, _ib._ + +Sterky, Mr., 321. + +Stewart, Charles Edward (the Pretender), relics of, 156. + +Stewart, Mary, 489. + +St. Lawrence, Rapids of the, 380. + +St. Maur, Lady (nee Georgiana Sheriden). + +St. Paul's, Lawrence's burial in, 240. + +"Stranger, The," 315, 327; + at Plymouth, 445; + Charles Young in, 462. + +St. Sidwell's church, 440. + +Storace, 500. + +Stukely, 440, 446. + +Singer, a diminutive, 453. + +Sullivan, Mrs., 341, 348; + Rev. Fred., 348. + +Sully, his picture of Fanny Kemble as _Beatrice_, 367. + +Sumner, Charles, 543. + +Switzerland, 277. + + +Taglioni, 400, 564. + +Talbot, Colonel, 346. + +Tales of a chaperon, 348. + +Talma, 25, 65. + +"Tasso," 351 + +Taylor, Jeremy, 104. + +Taylor, Tom, "The King's Wager," 308. + +Taylor, Miss, as _Helen_ in the "Hunchback," 378, 519; + as _Margaret de Valois_ in "Francis I.," 508; + in "The Hunchback," 519. + +"Tempest, The," 269, 555. + +Tennyson, Alfred, 167; + his brothers, 483; + first poems, 184; + "The May Queen," "OEnone," and the "Miller's Daughter," 185, 294; + an unpromising exterior, 519; + poems of, 581. + +Terry, 142. + +Thackeray, W.M., 126, 167, 183; + broken nose, 490, 496. + +Thackeray, Dr., 393. + +Thames Tunnel, 120. + +Theatre Français, 258. + +Theatre patents, 339. + +Therëse Heyne (Madame Huber), 347. + +Thorwaldsen, 343. + +Tieck, 29, 80, 353; + "The Elves," 516. + +Titian's Venuses, and "Venus and Adonis," 271; + Bacchus and Ariadne, 475. + +Tiverton, the member for, 270. + +_Tom Thumb_, Miss Poole as, 480. + +Torrijos, General, 293, 326, 356. + +Tree, Miss Ellen, as _Romeo_, 200. + +Tree, Miss (Mrs. Bradshaw), 497; + as _Françoise de Foix_, in "Francis I.," 508. + +Trelawney, Mr., 436; + author of "Adventures of a Younger Son," 582. + +Trench, Richard, 183, 293; + return from Spain, 356; + share in Spanish exhibition, 376; + shot in Spain, 479, 514. + +Trenton Falls, 103. + +"Tristram Shandy," 519. + +Trueba, Don Telesforo de, "The Exquisites," 395, 405. + +Turnerelli, his bust of Fanny Kemble, 365, 499 + +Tweed, Scott's residence on the, 265. + +Twiss, Horace, 86, 87, 170, 236, 331; + put into Parliament by Lord Clarendon, 335; + aspect at defeat of Reform Bill, 344; + speech on Reform Bill, 344, 387. + +Twiss, Horace's father, 107. + +Twiss, John, 15. + +Twiss, Miss, 158. + +Twiss, Mrs., 256; + the Misses, 130. + + +"Vivian Grey," 122. + +Vinci, Leonardo da, 476. + +_Victorine_, 507. + +Victoria, Princess, 475. + +Viardot, Mme., 205. + +Vestris, Madame, 383. + +"Vestiges of Creation," 161. + +"Venice, Gentleman of," 513. + +"Venice, History of." 474, 513. + +"Venice Preserved," 425, 433, 444; + at Weymouth, 451, 470. + +Vanbrugh, Sir John, 399. + +"Valeria," 436. + + +Wade, his plays "The Jew of Aragon" and "Griselda," 306; + self-control, 307. + +Wainwright, Dr., 544. + +Waldegrave, Lord, 417. + +Wales, Prince of, 3. + +Wales, Princess of, 251. + +Wallack, J.W., 539. + +Wallenstein, 474. + +Walpole, Horace, 303, 414. + +Ward, 366, 484; + _Joseph Surface_, 487; + in "Katharine of Cleves," 489; + as _Fazio_, 323; + as _The Monk_ in "Francis I.," 508. + +Warwick Castle, 106. + +Warwick, Lord, 90. + +Washington, George, 567. + +Water in New York, 537. + +Watson, Dr., 463. + +Weber, Baron Carl Maria von, "Der Freyschütz," 94; + "Oberon," 95; + "Always my music, but never myself," 96; + appearance and manner, 97; + impatience with Braham and Miss Paton, 97; + Huon's opening song, 98; + death, 100. + +Webster, Daniel, speeches of, 547; + letters of introduction to, 561. + +"Wednesday Morning," 390, 393, 394. + +Wellington, Duke of, 101, 124, 244; + at opening of new railroad, 284, 299, 304; + bitter pill to Lawrence, 393, 460; + threatening to pull down his statue, 461, 474. + +Welsh, Mr., Miss Sheriff's instructor, 464. + +West Indies, 483. + +West India Dock, 120. + +Westmacott, editor of the _Age_, thrashed by Charles Kemble, 310, 314. + +Westminster Abbey, John Kemble's monument, 65, 240. + +Westminster, Henry Kemble's education at, 108, 110, 267, 482. + +Westminster Committee, The, 278. + +Weybridge, 75, 79, 81, 111, 388, 396, 399, 442. + +Weymouth, 449. + +Wieland, 80, 95. + +Willet, 108. + +William IV., 95, 96. + +Wharncliffe, Earl of (see Wortley, James, 349). + +"White Devil, The," 353. + +Whitelock, Mrs., 15, 105, 106, 355, 418, 420. + +"Wife of Antwerp, The," 475. + +"Wilhelm Meister," 339. + +Wilkes, 490. + +Wilkinson, Mrs., 466. + +Willett, Mr., 513. + +William IV., his natural son by Mrs. Jordan, 227, 390; + ignorance of art, 393. + +Wilmot, Mr., 348. + +Wilson, Dr., 462, 463. + +Wilson, 142, 178; in "Artaxerxes," 465. + +Winckelmann, his work on classical art, 217. + +Wood, Mr., 98. + +Worcester (see Beaufort, Duke of). + +Wordsworth, 166. + +Worsley, 270. + +Worsley Hall, 375. + +Wortley, James, 342, 349. + +Wraxall, 104. + +Wray, Miss. 124. + +Wroxton Abbey, 388. + + +Yates, Mr., as a friend, 508. + +Yates, Mrs., in "Victorine," 507. + +York, Archbishop of, 230. + +York, Duchess of, 403. + +York, Duke of, 77, 85. + +Young, Charles, anecdotes of, 10; + accomplishments and disposition, 11; + death at Brighton, 12, 115, 117, 118, 181; + in "Rienzi," 354; + at Bridgewater House, 421; + as _Pierre_, 461; + in "The Stranger," 462; + helping Covent Garden, 464, 472. + +Young, Rev. Julian, 40, 251, 504. + + +Zanga, 351. + +Zermatt, Mount. 84. + + +[Transcriber's note: + +The following names were changed in the index for consistency with the +text: +Alleghany was Allegheny +Belzoni Belzini +Biagioli Biagoli +Der Freyschütz Der Freyschutz +Flore, Mlle. Floré, Mlle. +Foscolo, Ugo Foscolo, Uga +Nourit Nouritt +Pickersgill Puckersgill +Roxolane Roxolaine +Sakuntalà Sakuntala +Sonnambula Somnambula +Therëse Heyne Therese Heyne +Winckelmann Winckelman + +César Malan Cesar Malan (under Kemble, Frances Anne) +Joséphine Josephine (Bonaparte's letters to, under + Kemble, Frances Anne) +Françoise de Foix Francoise de Foix (under Tree, Miss)] + + + +_PUBLISHED BY HENRY HOLT & CO._ + + +KEMBLE'S (FRANCES ANN) RECORDS OF A GIRLHOOD. +Large 12mo. With Portrait. $2.50. + + "The book is so charming, so entertaining, so stamped with the + impress of a strong, remarkable, various nature, that we feel + almost tormented in being treated to a view only of the youthful + phases of character. Like most of the novels that we read, or don't + read, this volume is the history of a young lady's entrance into + life. Mrs. Kemble's young lady is a very brilliant and charming + one, and our only complaint is that we part company with her too + soon.... What we have here, however, is excellent reading.... She + is naturally a writer; she has a style of her own which is full of + those felicities of expression that indicate the literary + sense."--_Nation_. + + * * * * * + + +THE AMATEUR SERIES. +12mo, blue cloth. + +English Actors from Shakespeare to Macready. By HENRY BARTON BAKER. +Two vols. $3.50 + + "Mr. Baker's business is with the adventures and the art of our + principal players; and he rarely, if ever, departs from his + well-considered plan to discuss the literature of the theatre. His + anecdotes have all an authentic look, and their genuineness is, for + the most part, not to be doubted. The book is extremely rich in + good stories, which are invariably well told."--_Pall Mall + Gazette_. + +Moscheles' (Ignatz) Recent Music and Musicians, as described in his +Diaries and Correspondence. Selected by his wife, and adapted from the +original German, by A.D. COLERIDGE, $2.00. + + "Full of pleasant gossip. The diary and letters between them + contain notices and criticisms on almost every musical celebrity of + the last half century."--_Pall Mall Gazette_. + +Chorley's (H.F.) Recent Art and Society, as described in his +Autobiography and Memoirs. Compiled from the Edition of Henry G. +Hewlett, by C.H. Jones. $2.00. + +Wagner's (R.) 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With +illustrations, fac-similed in colors, from Turner's original drawings. +$2.75. + + "The author has told fully and fearlessly the story of Turner's + life as far as he could learn it, and has filled his pages with + anecdotes which illustrate the painter's character and habits, and + his book is, therefore, one of great interest."--_N.Y. Evening + Post_. + +Lewes (George Henry) on Actors and the Art of Acting. $1.50. + + "It is valuable, first, as the record of the impressions produced + upon a mind of singular sensibility by many actors of renown, and + lastly, indeed chiefly, because it formulates and reiterates sound + opinions upon the little-understood principles of the art of + acting.... Perhaps the best work in English on the actor's + art."--_Nation_. + +Berlioz' Autobiography and Musical Grotesques. $2.00 + + + + +_PUBLISHED BY HENRY HOLT & CO._ + +ALBEMARLE'S (GEORGE THOMAS EARL OF) FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE. With a +Portrait by JEENS. Large 12mo. $2.50. + + "Lord Albemarle has done wisely to publish his Recollections, for + there are few men who have had the opportunities of seeing so much + of life and character as he has, and still fewer who at an advanced + age could write an Autobiography in which we have opinions without + twaddle, gossip without malice, and stories not marred in the + telling."--_London Academy_. + +HOUGHTON'S (LORD) MONOGRAPHS, PERSONAL AND SOCIAL. +With Portraits of WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR, CHARLES BULLER, HARRIET LADY +ASHBURTON, and SULEIMAN PASHA. 12mo. $2.00. + + "An extremely agreeable volume.... He writes so as to adorn + everything which he touches,"--_London Athenæum_. + + "He has something new to tell of every one of his subjects. His + book is a choice olio of fine fruits."--_London Saturday Review_. + +JOHNSON'S (ROSSITER) COLLECTIONS OF POEMS. + +SINGLE FAMOUS POEMS. Collected and Edited by ROSSITER JOHNSON. Square +12mo, gilt. $2.00. + + A pretty volume fit for presentation, made up of celebrated English + poems that have hitherto been printed only in periodicals and other + fugitive places, or are in only such works as are not generally at + hand. + + The lover of poetry who is trying to find some English poem that he + can get no trace of except from vague memory, would be quite apt to + meet it in this volume. + +PLAY-DAY POEMS. Collected and Edited by ROSSITER JOHNSON. +16mo. (Leisure Hour Series.) $1.00. + + This volume contains the best of the humorous poetry published + since Parton's collection in 1856, and also many of the old + favorites. + + "Singularly free from anything to offend the taste, or to injure + the health by unsuccessful attempts to produce a laugh. You are not + obliged to throw away a multitude of worthless, or mediocre + specimens, before you light upon a poem which you can truly + enjoy."--_N.Y. Tribune_. + + "The most complete and judicious collection of humorous poetry ever + seen in this country."--_Chicago Journal_. + + "The collection is a capital one, and will be of peculiar value to + professional and amateur readers."--_Boston Transcript_. + +SAINTE-BEUVE'S (C.A.) ENGLISH PORTRAITS. Selected and Translated from +the "Causeries du Lundi." With an Introductory Chapter on Sainte-Beuve's +Life and Writings. 12mo. $2.00. + + CONTENTS:--Sainte-Beuve's Life--His Writings--General + Comments--Mary Queen of Scots--Lord Chesterfield--Benjamin + Franklin--Edward Gibbon--William Cowper--English Literature by H. + Taine--Pope as a Poet. + + "Probably no one who in our days has written criticism had a surer + power to perceive and discover what is true and beautiful. He makes + us admire more the authors we admired before, and gives new reasons + for our admiration. 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It embodies also the results of the studies + of a large number of earlier and later writers, and throughout + evinces research, independence of judgment, and candor."--_Nation_. + +GROHMAN'S (W.A. BAILLIE) GADDINGS WITH A PRIMITIVE PEOPLE. Being a +Series of Sketches of Tyrolese Life and Customs, 16mo. (Leisure Hour +Series.) $1.00. + + "He has a bright, easy style, and, indeed, most of his adventures + are so extraordinary as almost to verge on the brink of the + incredible. We can recommend the book as singularly readable from + the first chapter to the last."--_Saturday Review_. + + "This is a book such as the public seldom has the opportunity of + reading; such, indeed, as a necessarily rare combination of + circumstances can alone produce. His volume will indeed amply repay + perusal."--_London Spectator_. + +McCOAN'S (J.C.) EGYPT AS IT IS. 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