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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/16047-8.txt b/16047-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c051493 --- /dev/null +++ b/16047-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6132 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and Sons +by Ellice Hopkins + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and Sons + A Book For Parents, And Those In Loco Parentis + +Author: Ellice Hopkins + +Release Date: June 13, 2005 [EBook #16047] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + + + + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +THE +POWER OF WOMANHOOD +OR +MOTHERS AND SONS + +A BOOK FOR PARENTS, AND THOSE IN +LOCO PARENTIS + +BY ELLICE HOPKINS + +AUTHOR OF "LIFE AND LETTERS OF JAMES HINTON," +"WARS AMONG WORKINGMEN," ETC. + + + Sow an act, and you reap a habit: + Sow a habit, and you reap a character: + Sow a character, and you reap a destiny. + + +NEW YORK +E.P. DUTTON & COMPANY +31 West Twenty-Third Street +1901 Copyright, 1899 + + +Copyright, 1899 +By +E.P. DUTTON & CO. + + +The Knickerbocker Press, New York + + + + +PREFACE + + +This little book has been written under great physical disabilities, +chiefly while wandering about in search of health, and consequently far +from the libraries which would have enabled me to give proper references +to all my quotations. Often for a whole year I have been unable to touch +it; but again and again I have returned to my task, feeling it worth any +risk to mind or body if only in the end its words might prove of some +service to the educated mothers of England and America. + +Under these circumstances, I know I may plead for indulgence as to any +defects its pages may present. + +But now that, after six years, I have realized the pretty Eastern +proverb, "By patience and perseverance, and a bottle of sweet-oil, the +snail at length reaches Jerusalem,"--now that by God's unfailing help I +have finished my difficult task, I can but commit the book into the +hands of the women who have implanted in me, next to my faith in God, +faith in the "Power of Womanhood," and whose faithful adherence and +co-operation remain the deepest and most grateful memory of my life. +Most of the ordinary means of circulation are closed to a book of this +nature. The doors of circulating libraries are for the most part shut; +notices in papers for the general public are necessarily few; nor can I +any longer hope, as I once did, to visit America, and give it a wide +circulation by my own efforts. I can but stretch out my hands to my many +dear unknown friends in America,--hands which have grown too weak to +hold the sword or lift the banner in a cause for which I have laid down +my all,--and ask any mother who may find help or strength in this book +to help me in return by placing it in the hands of other mothers of boys +she may know, especially,--I would plead,--young mothers. Do not say +they are too young to know. If they are not too young to be the mothers +of boys, they are not too young to know how to fulfil the responsibility +inherent in such motherhood. They at least can begin at the beginning, +and not have occasion to say, as so many mothers have said to me, with +tears in their eyes, "Oh, if I could only have heard you years ago, what +a difference it would have made to me! But now it is too late." + +Enable me thus, by your aid, to do some helpful work for that great +country which I have ever loved as my own; and which with England is +appointed in the Providence of God to lead in the great moral causes of +the world. + +If, indeed, each mother whom, either by word or deed, I may have helped +would do me this service of love now that I am laid aside, not yielding +to the first adverse criticism, which is so often only a cry of pain or +prejudice, but patiently working on at enlightening and strengthening +the hands of other mothers in her own rank of life, what vital work +would be done:--work so precious in its very nature, so far-reaching in +its consequences, that all the travail and anguish I have endured, all +the brokenness of body and soul I have incurred, would not so much as +come into mind for joy that a truer manhood is being born into the +world, even the manhood of Him who-- + + "Came on earth that He might show mankind + What 'tis to be a MAN: to give, not take; + To serve, not rule; to nourish, not devour; + To help, not crush; if needs, to die, not live." + +2 BELLE VUE GARDENS, +WALPOLE ROAD, BRIGHTON, + _Nov. 1, 1899_. + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER PAGE + +I.--INTRODUCTORY 1 + +II.--"WHY SHOULD I INTERFERE?" 13 + +III.--FIRST PRINCIPLES 26 + +IV.--THE SECRET AND METHOD 38 + +V.--EARLY BOYHOOD 56 + +VI.--BOYHOOD AND SCHOOL LIFE 69 + +VII.--EARLY MANHOOD 131 + +VIII.--THE INFLUENCE OF SISTERS 157 + +IX.--THE MODERN WOMAN AND HER FUTURE 170 + +X.--NATIONAL AND IMPERIAL ASPECTS 191 + +XI.--THE DYNAMIC ASPECT OF EVIL 206 + + CONCLUSION 221 + + APPENDIX 231 + + + + + "No advice, no exposure, will be of use until the right relation + exists between the father and mother and their son. To deserve his + confidence, to keep it as the chief treasure committed to them by + God;--to be, the father his strength, the mother his + sanctification, and both his chosen refuge, through all weakness, + evil, danger, and amazement of his young life." + + Rushkin. + + + + +THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD + + +CHAPTER I + +INTRODUCTORY + + +In a banquet given in honor of Heinrik Ibsen by a Norwegian society +known as the Woman's League, in response to a speech thanking him in the +name of the society for all he had done for the cause of women, the +poet, while disclaiming the honor of having consciously worked for the +woman's cause--indeed, not even being quite clear as to what the woman's +cause really was, since in his eyes it was indistinguishable from the +cause of humanity--concluded his speech with the words: + + "It has always seemed to me that the great problem is to elevate + the nation and place it on a higher level. Two factors, the man and + the woman, must co-operate for this end, and it lies especially + with the mothers of the people, by slow and strenuous work, to + arouse in it a conscious sense of culture and discipline. To the + woman, then, we must look for the solution of the problem of + humanity. It must come from them as mothers: that is the mission + that lies before them." + +Whether we are admirers of the great Norwegian poet or not, whether we +are afflicted with Ibsenism, or regard his peculiar genius in a more +critical and dispassionate light, no one would deny to him that deep +intuitive insight which belongs to a poet, and which borders so closely +on the prophet's gift. + +It is now some years since I have been laid aside, owing to the terrible +strain and burthen of my ten years' conflict with the evils that are +threatening the sanctity of the family, the purity of the home, and all +that constitutes the higher life of the nation. But in those ten years +the one truth that was burnt into my very soul was the truth enunciated +by Ibsen, that it is to the woman that we must look for the solution of +the deepest moral problems of humanity, and that the key of those +problems lies in the hands of the mothers of our race. They, and they +alone, can unlock the door to a purer and a stronger life. This, in +Ibsen's words, "is the mission that lies before them." And it is this +strong conviction which makes me feel that, even with broken powers and +shattered health, I cannot rest from my labors without, at any cost to +myself, placing the knowledge and experience gained in those years of +toil and sorrow at the disposal of the educated women of the +English-speaking world who, either as mothers or in other capacities, +have the care and training of the young. + +No one recognizes more thankfully than I do the progress that the +woman's movement has made during what have been to me years of inaction +and suffering. The ever-increasing activity in all agencies for the +elevation of women; the multiplication of preventive institutions and +rescue societies; above all, that new sense of a common womanhood, that +_esprit de corps_ in which hitherto we have been so grievously lacking, +and which is now beginning to bind all our efforts together into one +great whole--these I thankfully recognize. We no longer each of us set +up in separate and somewhat antagonistic individuality our own little +private burrow of good works, with one way in and one way out, and +nothing else needed for the wants of the universe. We realize now that +no one agency can even partially cover the ground, and conferences are +now held of all who are working for the good of women and children, to +enable the separate agencies to work more effectually into one another's +hands and unite more fervently in heart and soul in a common cause. +Beneath all this, apart from any external organization whatever, there +is a silent work going on in the hearts of thoughtful and educated +mothers, which never comes before the public at all, but is silently +spreading and deepening under the surface of our life. + +But when all this is thankfully recognized and acknowledged, I still +cannot help questioning whether the mass of educated women have at all +grasped the depth and complexity of the problem with which we have to +grapple if we are to fufil our trust as the guardians of the home and +family, and those hidden wells of the national life from which spring up +all that is best and highest in the national character. Nay, I sometimes +fear lest even our increased activity in practical work may not have the +effect of calling off our attention from those deep underlying causes +which must be dealt with if we are not to engage in the hopeless task of +trying to fill a cistern the tap of which has been left running. This +absorption in the effect and inattention to the cause is to a certain +degree bred in us by the very nature of the duties that devolve upon us +as women. John Stuart Mill has compared the life of a woman to an +"interrupted sentence." The mere fact that our lives are so interrupted +by incessant home calls, and that we are necessarily so concerned in the +details of life, is apt to make us wanting in grasp of underlying +principles. Perhaps it is the fact of my having been associated all the +early years of my life with eminent scientific men that has formed in me +a habit of mind always to regard effects in relation to causes, so that +merely to cure evil results without striking at the evil cause seems to +me, to use a Johnsonian simile, "like stopping up a hole or two of a +sieve with the hope of making it hold water." + +It is, therefore, on these deeper aspects that more especially bear upon +the lives and training of our own sons that I want to write, placing +before you some facts which you must know if you are to be their +guardians, and venturing to make some suggestions which, as the result +of much collective wisdom and prayer, I think may prove helpful to you +in that which lies nearest your heart. Only, if some of the facts are +such as may prove both painful and disagreeable to you, do not therefore +reject them in your ignorance as false. Do not follow the advice of a +politician to a friend whom he was urging to speak on some public +question. "But how can I?" his friend replied; "I know nothing of the +subject, and should therefore have nothing to say." "Oh, you can always +get up and deny the facts," was the sardonic reply. + +Let me first of all give you my credentials, all the more necessary as +my long illness has doubtless made me unknown by name to many of the +younger generation, who may therefore question my right to impart facts +or make any suggestions at all. Suffer me, therefore, to recount to you +how I have gained my knowledge and what are the sources of my +information. + +In the first place, I was trained for the work by a medical man--my +friend Mr. James Hinton--first in his own branch of the London +profession, and a most original thinker. To him the degradation of +women, which most men accept with such blank indifference, was a source +of unspeakable distress. He used to wander about the Haymarket and +Piccadilly in London at night, and break his heart over the sights he +saw and the tales he heard. The words of the Prophet ground themselves +into his very soul, with regard to the miserable wanderers of our +streets: "This is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them +snared in holes and hid in prison-houses; they are for a prey, and none +delivereth; for a spoil, and none saith, Restore." + +The very first time he came down to me at Brighton, to see if I could +give him any help, speaking of all he had seen and heard, his voice +suddenly broke, and he bowed his face upon my hands and wept like a +child. That one man could suffer as he did over the degradation of this +womanhood of ours has always been to me the most hopeful thing I know--a +divine earnest of ultimate overcoming. The only thing that seemed in a +measure to assuage his anguish was my promise to devote myself to the +one work of fighting it and endeavoring to awake the conscience of the +nation to some sense of guilt with regard to it. In order to fit me for +this work he considered that I ought to know all that he as a medical +man knew. He emphatically did not spare me, and often the knowledge that +he imparted to me was drowned in a storm of tears. We were to have +worked together, but his mind, already unhinged by suffering, ultimately +gave way, and, with all that this world could give him--health, fame, +wealth, family affection, devoted friends--he died prematurely of a +broken heart. + +For ten years, therefore, after my friend's death I gave up everything +for the purpose of carrying on the work he left me, and beat wearily up +and down the three kingdoms, holding meetings, organizing practical +work, agitating for the greater legal protection of the young, +afterwards embodied in two Acts--one for removing children from dens of +infamy and one known as the Criminal Law Amendment Act, which have done +much to educate the public sentiment of the country; but always making +it my chief object to rouse educated women to face the facts about their +own womanhood, and, above all, to rouse mothers to realize the perils of +their own boys and to be determined to know enough to enable them to act +as their guardians. + +During those ten years of warfare, passing as I did from family to +family, and always concerned with questions that touch upon the +innermost shrine of our life, I necessarily became the recipient of many +hidden sorrows. In fact, my fellow-creatures used me as a bottomless +well into which they could empty their household skeletons; and I used +often to reflect with sardonic satisfaction that I should never run dry +like other old wells, but that death would come and fill me up with a +good wholesome shovelful of earth, and I and my skeletons would lie +quiet together. But in this way I gained a knowledge of what is going on +under the surface of our life, whether we choose to ignore it or not, +which possibly can only come to those who are set apart to be +confessors of their kind; and the conclusion was forced upon me that +this evil, in one form or another, is more or less everywhere--in our +nurseries, in our public, and still more our private, schools, +decorously seated on magisterial benches, fouling our places of +business, and even sanctimoniously seated in our places of worship. + +After the first two years of work among women I found that it was +absolutely hopeless attacking the evil from one side only, and I had to +nerve myself as best I could to address large mass meetings of men, +always taking care clearly to define my position--that I had not come +upon that platform to help them, but to ask them to help me in a battle +that I had found too hard for me, and that I stood before them as a +woman pleading for women. The first of these meetings I addressed at the +instance of the late revered Bishop of Durham, Dr. Lightfoot, who took +the chair, and inaugurated the White Cross Movement, which has since +spread over the civilized world. And throughout this most difficult side +of my work I had his priceless co-operation and approval; besides the +wise counsel, guidance, and unfailing sympathy of one whom but to name +is to awake the deepest springs of reverence, Dr. Wilkinson, then the +incumbent of St. Peter's, Eaton Square, afterwards Bishop of Truro, and +now Bishop of St. Andrews. But so great was the effort that it cost me, +that I do not think I could have done this part of my work but for my +two favorite mottoes--the one, that "I can't" is a lie in the lips that +repeat, "I believe in the Holy Ghost"; the other, received from the lips +of Bishop Selwyn, that "If as soldiers of the Cross we stick at +anything, we are disgraced forever." + +But lastly, and perhaps best of all, as giving weight to any suggestions +that I may make, across the dismal mud swamp that I often trod with such +an aching heart and faltering steps came to meet me God's best and +highest, with outstretched hands of help and encouragement. It was the +highly-cultivated and thoughtful women who, amidst the storm of obloquy +that beat upon me from every quarter, first ranged themselves by my +side, perceiving that the best way to avoid a danger is not to refuse to +see it. Some were women already in the field in connection with Mrs. +Butler's movement, to which our nation owes so much, some were roused by +my words. + +In all our large towns where I formed Associations for the Care of +Friendless Girls I was in the habit of reporting my work to the clergy +of my own church, whose sympathy and cooperation I shall ever gratefully +acknowledge. Ultimately, the leading laity, as well as some +Nonconformist ministers, joined with us; often these conferences were +diocesan meetings--to which, however, Nonconformists were invited--with +the Bishop of the diocese in the chair; and after my address free +discussion took place, so that I had the advantage of hearing the +opinions and judgments of many of our leading men in regard to this +difficult problem, and getting at men's views of the question. + +The matter that I lay before you, therefore, has been thoroughly and +repeatedly threshed out at such conferences, as well as in long, +earnest, private talks with the wisest and most experienced mothers and +teachers of our day; and it is in their name, far more than in my own, +that I ask you to ponder what I say. + +Do not, however, be under any fear that I intend in these pages to make +myself the medium of all sorts of horrors. I intend to do no such thing. +It is but very little evil that you will need to know, and that not in +detail, in order to guard your own boys. We women, thank God, have to do +with the fountain of sweet waters, clear as crystal, that flow from the +throne of God; not with the sewer that flows from the foul imaginations +and actions of men. Our part is the inculcation of positive purity, not +the part of negative warning against vice. Nor need you fear that the +evil you must know, in order to fulfil your most sacred trust, will +sully you. This I say emphatically, that the evil which we have grappled +with to save one of our own dear ones does not sully. It is the evil +that we read about in novels and newspapers, for our own amusement; it +is the evil that we weakly give way to in our lives; above all, it is +the destroying evil that we have refused so much as to know of in our +absorbing care for our own alabaster skin--it is _that_ evil which +defiles the woman. But the evil that we have grappled with in a life and +death struggle to save a soul for whom Christ died does not sully: it +clothes from head to foot with the white robe, it crowns with the golden +crown. Though I have had to know what, thank God! no other woman may +ever again be called upon to know, I can yet speak of the great conflict +that involved this knowledge as being the one great purifying, +sanctifying influence of my life. But even if, as men would often +persuade us, the knowledge of the world's evil would sully us, I know I +utter the heart of every woman when I say that we choose the hand that +is sullied in saving our own dear ones from the deep mire that might +otherwise have swallowed them up, rather than the hand that has kept +itself white and pure because it has never been stretched out to save. +That hand may be white, but in God's sight it is white with the +whiteness of leprosy. Believe, rather, the words of James Hinton, +written to a woman friend: "You women have been living in a dreamland of +your own; but dare to live in this poor disordered world of God's, and +it will work out in you a better goodness than your own,"--even that +purified womanhood, strong to know, and strong to save, before whose +gracious loveliness the strongest man grows weak as a child, and, as a +little child, grows pure. + +God grant that, in view of the tremendous responsibilities that devolve +upon us women in these latter days, we may cry from our hearts: + + "Let not fine culture, poesy, art, sweet tones, + Build up about my soothed sense a world + That is not Thine, and wall me up in dreams. + So my sad heart may cease to beat with Thine, + The great World-Heart, whose blood, forever shed, + Is human life, whose ache is man's dull pain." + + + + +CHAPTER II + +"WHY SHOULD I INTERFERE?" + + +I am, of course, aware that at the very outset I shall be met by the +question--far less frequently urged, however, by thoughtful mothers than +it used to be--"Why need I interfere at all in a subject like this? Why +may I not leave it all to the boy's father? Why should it be my duty to +face a question which is very distasteful to me, and which I feel I had +much better let alone?" + +I would answer at once, Because the evil is so rife, the dangers so +great and manifold, the temptations so strong and subtle, that your +influence must be united to that of the boy's father if you want to +safeguard him. Every influence you can lay hold of is needed here, and +will not prove more than enough. The influence of one parent alone is +not sufficient, more especially as there are potent lines of influence +open to you as a woman from which a man, from the very fact that he is a +man, is necessarily debarred. + +You must bring the whole of that influence to bear for the following +considerations. + +Let me take the lowest and simplest first. Even if you be indifferent +to your boy's moral welfare, you cannot be indifferent to his physical +well-being, nay, to his very existence. Here I necessarily cannot tell +you all I know; but I would ask you thoughtfully to study for yourself a +striking diagram which Dr. Carpenter, in one of our recognized medical +text-books, has reproduced from the well-known French statistician, +Quetelet, showing the comparative viability, or life value, of men and +women respectively at different ages. + +[Illustration: DIAGRAM REPRESENTING THE COMPARATIVE VIABILITY OF THE +MALE AND FEMALE AT DIFFERENT AGES.] + + +The female line, where it differs from the male, is the dotted line, the +greater or less probability or value of life being shown by the greater +or less distance of the line of life from the level line at the bottom. +Infant life being very fragile, the line steadily rises till it reaches +its highest point, between thirteen and fourteen. In both cases there +is then a rapid fall, the age of puberty being a critical age. But from +fifteen, when the female line begins to right itself, only showing by a +gentle curve downwards the added risks of the child-bearing period in a +woman's life, the male line, which ought, without these risks, to keep +above the female line, makes a sharp dip below it, till it reaches its +lowest point at twenty-five, the age when the excesses of youth have had +time to tell most on the system.[1] Here, at least, is evidence that +none can gainsay. The more you ponder that mysterious sharp dip in the +man's line of life at the very age which Nature intended should be the +prime and flower of life, the more deeply you will feel that some deep +and hidden danger lies concealed there, the more earnestly you will come +to the conclusion that you cannot and will not thrust from you the +responsibility that rests upon you as the boy's mother of helping to +guard him from it. Keep him from the knowledge of evil, and the +temptations that come with that knowledge, you cannot. The few first +days at school will insure that, to say nothing of the miserable streets +of our large towns. As Thackeray long ago said in a well-known passage, +much animadverted on at the time: + + "And by the way, ye tender mothers and sober fathers of Christian + families, a prodigious thing that theory of life is, as orally + learnt at a great public school. Why! if you could hear those boys + of fourteen who blush before their mothers, and sneak off in + silence in the presence of their daughters, talking among each + other, it would be the woman's turn to blush then. Before Pen was + twelve years old, and while his mother thought him an angel of + candour, little Pen had heard enough to make him quite awfully wise + upon certain points; and so, madam, has your pretty rosy-cheeked + son who is coming home from school for the ensuing Christmas + holidays. I don't say that the boy is lost, or that the innocence + has left him which he had 'from heaven, which is our home,' but + that the shades of the prison house are closing very fast round + him, and that we are helping as much as possible to corrupt + him."[2] + +But though you cannot keep him from the knowledge of evil, you can be a +potent factor in teaching him the hidden dangers that beset him, in +seeing that his young feet rest on the rock of true knowledge, and not +on the shifting quagmire of the devil's lies; but above all, in +inspiring him with a high ideal of conduct, which will make him shrink +from everything low and foul as he would from card-sharping or sneaking, +proving yourself thus to him as far as in you lies-- + + "A perfect woman, nobly planned, + To warn, to comfort, and command; + And yet a spirit still, and bright + With something of an angel light." + +The boy thus mothered is saved as a rule from all physical risk. + +And this in part anticipates my second point. You cannot let this +question alone if you are to aim at the highest for your boy. High +character is more to be accounted of than long life. And it is to you, +as a woman, that the guarding of the higher springs of his nature is +especially entrusted. My whole experience has gone to teach me, with +ever-increasing force, that the proposition that purity is vitally +necessary for the woman, but of comparatively small account for the man, +is absolutely false. Granted that, owing to social ostracism, the +outward degradation of impurity to the woman is far greater, I contend +that a deeper inner debasement is its sure fruition in the man. Cruelty +and lies are its certain accompaniment. As Burns, with a poet's insight, +has truly said: + + "But oh! it hardens a' within, + And petrifies the feeling." + +Yes, it is exactly that; "it hardens all within"--hardens and darkens. +It is as our Lord says: only "the pure in heart" are capable of divine +vision. Only the man who has kept himself pure, who has never sullied +his white faith in womanhood, never profaned the sacred mysteries of +life and love, never fouled his manhood in the stye of the beast--it is +only that man who can see God, who can see duty where another sees +useless sacrifice, who can see and grasp abiding principles in a world +of expediency and self-interest, and discern + + "In temporal policy the eternal Will," + +who can see God in the meanest of His redeemed creatures. It is only +the virginal heart that has kept itself pure, that grows not old, but +keeps its freshness, its innocent gaiety, its simple pleasures. The +eminent Swiss Professor, Aimé Humbert, does but echo these words from +the sadder side, when, speaking of the moral malady which is the result +of impurity, he says: + + "It does not attack any single organ of the human frame, but it + withers all that is human--mind, body, and soul. It strikes our + youth at the unhappy moment when they first cross the thresholds of + vice. For them the spring has no more innocent freshness; their + very friendships are polluted by foul suggestions and memories; + they become strangers to all the honorable relations of a pure + young life; and thus we see stretching wider and wider around us + the circle of this mocking, faded, worn-out, sceptical youth, + without poetry and without love, without faith and without joy." + +Too soon and too earnestly we cannot teach our boys that the flaming +sword, turning all ways, which guards the tree of life for him, is +purity. + +But thirdly, there are wider issues than the welfare, physical and +moral, of our own boys which make it impossible for us to take up any +neutral attitude on this question. We cannot remain indifferent to that +which affects so deeply both the status and the happiness of women. We +cannot accept a standard for men which works out with the certainty of a +mathematical law a pariah class of women. We cannot leave on one side +the anguish of working-class mothers just because we belong to the +protected classes, and it is not our girls that are sacrificed. At +least, we women are ceasing to be as base as that, and God forgive us +that, from want of thought rather than from want of heart, educated +women could be found even to hold that the degradation of their own +womanhood is a necessity! + +Take but one instance out of the many that crossed my _via dolorosa_ of +the anguish inflicted on the mothers of the poor. I take it, not because +it is uncommon, but because it is typical. + +At one of my mass meetings of working women in the North I was told at +its close that a woman wished to speak with me in private. As soon as I +could disengage myself from the crowd of mothers who were always eager +to shake hands with me, and to bless me with tears in their eyes for +taking up their cause, I went down the room, and there, in a +dimly-lighted corner of the great hall, I found a respectable-looking +woman waiting for me. I sat down by her side, and she poured out the +pent-up sorrow of her heart before telling me the one great favor she +craved at my hands. She had an only daughter, who at the age of sixteen +she had placed out in service, at a carefully-chosen situation. We all +know what a difficult age in a girl's life is sixteen; but our girls we +can keep under our own watchful care, and their little wilfulnesses and +naughtinesses are got over within the four walls of a loving home, and +are only the thorns that precede the perfect rose of womanhood. But the +poor have to send their girls out into the great wicked world at this +age to be bread-winners, often far away from a mother's protecting care. +The girl, however, in this case was a good, steady girl, and for a time +did well. Then something unsettled her, and she left her first place, +and got another situation. For a time it seemed all right, when suddenly +her letters ceased. The mother wrote again and again, but got no answer. +She wrote to her former place; they knew nothing of her. At last she +saved up a little money and went to the town where she believed her girl +to be. She sought out and found her last address. The family had gone +away, and left no address. She made inquiries of the neighbors, of the +police. Yes, they remembered the girl--a nice-looking girl with a bright +color; but no one had seen her lately. It was as if a trap-door had +opened and let her through. She had simply disappeared. In all that +crowded city her mother could find no trace of her. "It is now thirteen +years, ma'am, since I lost her." + +But all through those thirteen years that poor mother had watched and +waited for her. All through those weary years, whenever she read in the +local paper of some poor girl's body being found in the river, some poor +suicide, who had leapt, + + "Mad from life's history, + Swift to death's mystery, + Anywhere, anywhere, out of the world," + +that poor mother would get into her head it might be her dear girl that +was lying there alone and unclaimed; and she would pay her fare--if she +could afford it--or if not, trudge the distance on foot, creep, +trembling, into the mortuary or the public-house where the body lay, +blue from drowning, or with the ugly red gash across the throat, take +one look, and then cry with a sigh of relief, "No, it ain't my child," +and return again to her watching and waiting. + +"Once, ma'am," she said, "I had a dream. I saw a beautiful place, all +bright and shiny, and there were lots of angels singing so sweet, when +out of the midst of the glory came my poor girl. She came straight to +me, and said, 'Oh, mother, don't fret; I'm safe and I'm happy!' and with +those words in my ears I awoke. That dream has been a great comfort to +me, ma'am; I feel sure God sent it to me. But oh, ma'am," she exclaimed, +with a new light of hope in her face, and clasping her hands in silent +entreaty, "the thought came into my head whilst you were a-speakin', if +you would be so kind as to ask at the end of every one of your meetin's, +'Has anyone heard or seen anything of a girl of the name of Sarah +Smith?' As you go all about the country, maybe I might get to hear of +her that way." + +Ah me! the pathetic forlornness of the suggestion, the last hope of a +broken-hearted mother, that I should go all over the three kingdoms +asking my large audiences, "Have you seen or heard anything of Sarah +Smith?" And I was dumb. I had not a word of comfort to give her. I had +heard the words too often from the lips of outcast girls in answer to my +question, "Does your mother know where you are?" "Oh, no; I couldn't +bear that mother should know about me!"--not to know what the fate of +that young girl had been. She had been trapped, or drugged, or enticed +into that dread under-world into which so many of our working-class +girls disappear and are lost. Possibly she had been sent out of the +country, and was in some foreign den. One's best hope was that she was +dead. + +But picture to yourselves the long-drawn anguish of that mother, with +nothing but a dream to comfort her amid the dread realities of life. +Picture her as only one of thousands and thousands of our working-class +mothers on whose poor dumb hearts the same nameless sorrow rests like a +gravestone; and I think no woman--no mother, at least--but will agree +with me, that this is a matter from which we, as women, cannot stand +off. Even if we had not the moral and physical welfare of our own boys +to consider, we are baptized into this cause by the tears of women, the +dumb tears of the poor. But there is one last consideration, exquisitely +painful as it is, which I cannot, I dare not, pass over, and which more +than any other has aroused the thoughtful women of England and America +to face the question and endeavor to grapple, however imperfectly as +yet, with the problem. For some strange reason the whole weight of this +evil in its last resort comes crushing down on the shoulders of a little +child--infant Christs of the cross without the crown, "martyrs of the +pang, without the palm." The sins of their parents are visited on them +from their birth, in scrofula, blindness, consumption. "Disease and +suffering," in Dickens's words, "preside over their birth, rock their +wretched cradles, nail down their little coffins, and fill their unknown +graves." More than one-half of the inmates of our Great Ormond Street +Hospital for Sick Children are sent there by vice. But would to God it +were only innocent suffering that is inflicted on the children of our +land. Alas! alas! when I first began my work, a ward in a large London +penitentiary, I found, was set apart for degraded children! Or take that +one brief appalling statement in the record of ten years of work--1884 +to 1894--issued by a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. +In the classification of the various victims it is stated that the +society had dealt with 4460 pitiable child victims of debauchery! Alas +for our England, and the debasement which a low moral standard for men +has made possible in our midst! And, judging by the absence of proper +legal protection and the extraordinarily low age of consent adopted by +some of the States of the Union, I fear things are not much better in +America. + +One of our sweetest poets, Charles Tennyson Turner, in an exquisite +sonnet on a three-year-old child being presented with a toy globe, has +portrayed the consecration of a child's innocence, bathing the world +itself in its baptismal dew: + + "She patted all the world; old empires peep'd + Between her baby fingers; her soft hand + Was welcome at all frontiers." + +And when at length they turn "her sweet unlearned eye" "on our own +isle," she utters a little joyous cry: + + "Oh yes, I see it! Letty's home is there! + And while she hid all England with a kiss, + Bright over Europe fell her golden hair." + +By the side of that exquisite picture of the beatitude of a child's +innocence place the picture of that long procession of desecrated +children, with no "sweet unlearned eye," but eyes learned in the worst +forms of human wickedness and cruelty; and let any woman say, if she can +or dare, that this is a subject on which she is not called to have any +voice and which she prefers to let alone. Surely our womanhood has not +become in these last days such a withered and wilted thing that our ears +have grown too nice for the cry of these hapless children! As women, we +are the natural guardians of the innocence of all children. The divine +motherhood that is at the heart of every woman worthy of the name "rises +up in wrath" within us and cries: "We _will_ fulfil our trust, not only +to our own children, but to the helpless children of the poor." The day +is at hand when every mother of boys will silently vow before God to +send at least one knight of God into the world to fight an evil before +which even a child's innocence is not sacred and which tramples under +its swine's feet the weak and the helpless. + +Indeed, when one reflects that this great moral problem touches all the +great trusts of our womanhood, the sanctity of the family, the purity of +the home, the sacredness of marriage, the sweet innocence of children, +it seems like some evil dream that women can ever have asked, "Why +cannot I leave this matter to men? Why should I interfere?" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 1: Dr. Carpenter does not hesitate to attribute this sharp dip +in the male line of life to the indulgence of the passions in youth, and +the subsequent rise to marriage and a more regular life.] + +[Footnote 2: _Pendennis_, vol. i., p. 16.] + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FIRST PRINCIPLES + + +"But what can we do?" will be the next question, uttered perhaps in the +forlorn accents of a latent despair. + +Before answering this question in detail, I would endeavor to impress +two cardinal points upon you. + +The first point I want you to recognize, though it may seem to minister +to the very hopelessness which most lames and cripples for effective +action, is the depth and magnitude of the problem we have to grapple +with. All other great social evils, with the possible exception of greed +or covetousness, which in Scripture is often classed with impurity, may +be looked upon as more or less diseases of the extremities. But the evil +which we are now considering is no disease of the extremities, but a +disease at the very heart of our life, attacking all the great bases on +which it rests. It is not only the negation of the sanctity of the +family and the destroyer of the purity of the home, as I have already +pointed out, but it is also the derider of the sacredness of the +individual, the slow but sure disintegrator of the body politic, the +dry-rot of nations, before which the mightiest empires have crumbled +into dust. The lagoons of Venice mirror it in the departed grandeur of +her palaces, overthrown by the licentiousness of her merchant princes. +The mute sands that silt up the ruins of old empires are eloquent of it. +The most brilliant civilization the world has even seen through it +became the most transitory. Even the vast and massive structure of the +Roman Empire, undermined by moral corruption, vanished before barbarian +hordes like the baseless fabric of a dream. To think that we can solve a +problem of this depth and magnitude by any mere external means--as so +many good and earnest women seem to imagine--by any multiplication of +Rescue Societies, Preventive Institutions, and other benevolent +organizations--is to think that we can plug up a volcano with sticks and +straws. The remedy, like the evil, must be from within, and must to a +great degree revolutionize our life. + +My second cardinal point is, that the first step we have to take, the +step which must precede all others, if anything is to be of the least +avail, must be to restore the moral law and get rid of the double +standard. I know well how much has been said and written on this point; +it has been insisted on possibly _ad nauseam_. But even now I do not +think we fully realize how completely we have been in the grasp of a +"tradition of the elders," which has emphatically "made the law of God +of none effect." Side by side with the ethics of Christianity have +grown up the bastard ethics of society, widely divergent from the true +moral order. Man has accepted the obligation of purity so far as it +subserves his own selfish interests and enables him to be sure of his +own paternity and safeguard the laws of inheritance. The precepts which +were primarily addressed to the man, as the very form of the Greek words +demonstrate, were tacitly transferred to the woman. When, in a standard +dictionary of the English language, I look out the word "virtue," which +etymologically means "manliness"--the manliness which would scorn to +gratify its own selfish passions at the cost of the young, the poor, and +the weak, at the cost of a _woman_--I find one of its meanings defined, +not as male but as "female chastity." Long ago I suggested that as +manliness thus goes by default, the word had better be changed from +virtue to "muliertue." + +In a passage in one of our standard school-books, Green's _Short History +of the English People_, the historian, alluding to the coarseness of the +early Elizabethan drama, remarks that "there were no female actors, and +the grossness which startles us in words which fall from a woman's lips +took a different color when every woman's part was acted by a boy."[3] +Why, in the name of all moral sense, should it be less dreadful that +gross and obscene passages should be uttered at a public spectacle by +young and unformed boys than by adult women, who at least would have +the safeguard of mature knowledge and instincts to teach them their full +loathsomeness? Do we really think that boys are born less pure than +girls? Does the mother, when her little son is born, keep the old +iron-moulded flannels, the faded basinette, the dirty feeding-bottle for +him with the passing comment, "Oh, it is only a boy!" Is anything too +white and fine and pure for his infant limbs, and yet are we to hold +that anything is good enough for his childish soul--even, according to +Mr. Green, the grossness of the early Elizabethan stage--because he is a +boy? But I ask how many readers of that delightful history would so much +as notice this passage, and not, on the contrary, quietly accept it +without inward note or comment, possessed as we are, often without +knowing it, by our monstrous double standard? + +If we want to see what is the final outcome of this moral code, of this +one-sided and distorted ethic, we have only to turn our eyes to France. +On the one hand we have "la jeune fille" in her white Communion robe, +kept so pure and ignorant of all evil, that "une société +ecclésiastique," I am told, exists for the emendation of history for her +benefit--Divine Providence, as conducting the affairs of men, being far +too coarse for her pure gaze; and at the other end of the stick we find +Zola, and a literature intended only for the eyes of men, of whose +chastity, according to Renan, "Nature takes no account whatever,"--a +literature which fouls with its vile sewage the very wellsprings of our +nature, and which, whatever its artistic merit, I make bold to say is a +curse to the civilized world. + +Now, I earnestly protest that while we have this social code, which is +in direct violation of the moral law, we may set on foot any number of +Rescue Societies, Preventive Agencies, Acts for the Legal Protection of +the Young, etc., but all our efforts will be in vain. We are like a man +who should endeavor to construct a perfect system of dynamics on the +violation of Newton's first law of motion. The tacitly accepted +necessity for something short of the moral law for men will--again I say +it--work out with the certainty of a mathematical law a degraded and +outcast class, with its disease, its insanity, its foul contamination of +the young, its debasement of manhood, its disintegration of the State, +its curse to the community. You cannot dodge the moral law; as Professor +Clifford said, "There are no back-stairs to the universe" by which we +can elude the consequences of our wrong, whether of thought or action. +If you let in one evil premise by the back-door, be sure Sin and Death +will come out at the front. + +Here, then, you must take a firm and watchful stand. As the mothers of +the future generation of men, you must look upon it as your +divinely-appointed task to bring back the moral law in its entirety, +the one standard equally binding on men and women alike. Whatever your +creed, you have got to hold fast to this great truth, which life itself +forces upon you, and which is a truth of Christian ethics because first +of all it is a truth of life. It is simply a moral Q.E.D., that if +chastity is a law for women--and no man would deny that--it is a law for +every woman without exception; and if it is a law for every woman, it +follows necessarily that it must be for every man, unless we are going +to indulge in the moral turpitude of accepting a pariah class of women +made up of other women's daughters and other women's sisters--not our +own, God forbid that they should be our own!--set apart for the vices of +men. + +But perhaps, looking at our complicated civilization, which, at least in +the upper classes, involves, as a rule, the deferring of +marriage--looking at the strength of the passions which generations of +indulgence have evolved beyond their natural limits, some women will +feel constrained to ask, "Is this standard a possible one? Can men keep +their health and strength as celibates? Is not my husband right when he +says that this is a subject we women can know nothing about, and that +here we must bow to the judgment of men?" + +I answer that a mother must know by what standard she is to educate her +boy, and therefore must have the data supplied to her on which to form +her own judgment, and be fully persuaded in her own mind what she is to +aim at in the training she is to give him; and the mere fact that the +current judgment of men involves the sacrifice in body and soul of a +large class of our fellow-women lays a paramount obligation upon all +women to search for themselves into the truth and scientific accuracy of +the premises on which that judgment is based. + +"Can men keep their health and strength as celibates till such time as +they have the means to marry?" is the question we have, then, to face. +Is the standard of the moral law possible to men who have to maintain a +high level of physical efficiency in the sharp competition of modern +life? + +Primarily, the answer to this question must come from the acknowledged +heads of the medical profession. Now, I am thankful to say, we have in +England a consensus of opinion from the representative men of the +faculty that no one can gainsay. Sir James Paget, Acton in his great +text-book, Sir Andrew Clark, Sir George Humphrey, of Cambridge, +Professor Millar, of the Edinburgh University, Sir William Gowers, +F.R.S., have all answered the above question in the strongest +affirmative. "Chastity does no harm to body or mind; its discipline is +excellent; marriage may safely be waited for," are Sir James Paget's +terse and emphatic words[4]. Still more emphatic are the words of Sir +William Gowers, the great men's specialist, who counts as an authority +on the Continent as well as here: + + "The opinions which on grounds falsely called 'physiological' + suggest or permit unchastity are terribly prevalent among young + men, but they are absolutely false. With all the force of any + knowledge I possess, and any authority I have, I assert that this + belief is contrary to fact; I assert that no man ever yet was in + the slightest degree or way the worse for continence or better for + incontinence. From incontinence during unmarried life all are worse + morally; a clear majority, are, in the end, worse physically; and + in no small number the result is, and ever will be, utter physical + shipwreck on one of the many rocks, sharp, jagged-edged, which + beset the way, or on one of the banks of festering slime which no + care can possibly avoid. They are rocks which tear and rend the + unhappy being who is driven against them when he has yielded to the + tide of passion, they are banks which exhale a poison for which, no + true antidote exists." + +In face of such testimony as this, well might Mr. George Russell, in an +address to young men, speak of "this exploded lie which has hitherto led +so many astray." + +Turning now from knowledge to fact, we have only to look at the French +clergy to see that even in the extreme case of life-long celibacy it is +not injurious to health. I know, in taking this case, I am grating +somewhat harshly against Protestant prejudice. But the testimony that +Renan bears on this point is irrefutable. Himself a renegade priest, he +certainly would not have hesitated to expose the Order to which he had +once belonged, and vindicate his broken vows by the revelation of any +moral rottenness known within the walls of its seminaries. Far from +this, he bears the most emphatic testimony in his autobiography that +there is enough virtue in St. Sulpice alone to convert the world; and +owns so strong was the impress made on his own soul by his training as a +priest that personally he had lived a pure life, "although," he adds, +with an easy shrug of his shoulders, "it is very possible that the +libertine has the best of it!" Another renegade priest, also eminent in +literature, bears exactly the same testimony. Indeed, when we remember +the argus-eyed hatred with which the French priesthood is watched by the +anti-clerical party, and the few scandals that appear in the public +prints only too anxious to give publicity to them, this unimpeachable +testimony is borne out by fact. I believe this testimony to be equally +true of the English and Irish Roman Catholic clergy. Yet few would +dispute the vigor of the physique of the Roman Catholic priests, or +their capacity for hard and often exhausting work. + +Let me, however, guard myself from misapprehension. That a celibate +life, combined with rich feeding, French novels, and low thinking, does +produce a great deal of physical harm goes almost without saying. +Nature, like her Lord, requires truth in the inward parts, and takes but +small care of outward respectabilities that are but the whitewashed +graves of inward foulness. Surely Lowell is right when he says, "I hold +unchastity of mind to be worse than that of body." To live the +unmarried life one must, of course, fulfil its conditions of plain +living and clean thinking. + +It is almost with a feeling of shame that I have dwelt at some length on +the point we have been considering; but all through my ten years of work +the sunken rock on which I was always making shipwreck was the necessity +of the evil--often openly avowed by men, but haunting even the minds of +women like a shadow--a shadow which gained solidity and substance from a +sense of their helpless ignorance. I have even met with Christian women +who have serenely averred to my face that they have been told, on +authority that they could not question, that, were it not for the +existence of an outcast class, no respectable woman would be safe and we +could not insure the purity of the home! So low had the moral +consciousness fallen, through ignorance and thoughtless acceptance of +the masculine code, that women calling themselves Christians could be +found who seemed wholly unconscious of the deep inner debasement of +accepting the degradation of other women as a safeguard to our own +virtue and of basing the purity of the Christian home on the ruined +bodies and souls of the children of the poor. Truly the dark places of +the world within, as well as of the world without, are full of cruelty! + +What can I do, in the face of such an experience as this, but humbly and +earnestly beseech the women of England and America not to play fast and +loose with the moral sense within them--- which is God's voice within +us--but to hold fast to the moral law, one, equal, and indivisible, for +men and women alike; and to know and feel sure that, whatever else is +bound up with the nature of man or with an advancing civilization, the +hopeless degradation of woman is not that something. It is God who has +made us--not we ourselves, with our false codes, false notions, and +false necessities; and God has made the man to love the woman and give +himself for her, not to degrade her and destroy the very function for +which she was made the blessed "mother of all living." + +Only be sure of this: that men will rise to the level of any standard +that we set them. For the present standard of what Sainte Beuve calls +"l'homme sensuel moyen," which we have accepted and tacitly endorsed, we +women are largely to blame. In my conferences with the clergy and +earnest laity held in all our large towns it was always this that men +spoke of as the greatest stumbling-block in their way. With the utmost +bitterness they would urge that men of known fast life were admitted +into society, that women seemed to prefer them rather than not; and it +seemed to make no difference to them what kind of life a man +led--whether he reverenced their womanhood or not. How could I deny this +bitter accusation in the face of facts? All I could urge in extenuation +was that I believed it was due rather to the ignorance than to the +indifference of women, owing to the whole of this dark side of life +having been carefully veiled from their view; but now that this +ignorance was passing away, I was only one of hundreds of women who ask +nothing better than to lay down their lives in the cause of their own +womanhood. Only when women learn to respect themselves; only when no +woman worthy the name will receive into her own drawing-room in friendly +intercourse with her own girls the man who has done his best to make her +womanhood a vile and desecrated thing; only when no mother worthy the +name will, for the sake of wealth or position,--what is called "a good +match,"--give her pure girl to a man on the very common conditions, as +things have been, that some other ten or twenty young girls--some poor +mothers' daughters--have been degraded and cast aside into the gutter, +that she, the twenty-first in this honorable harem, may be held in +apparent honor as a wife; only when no woman worthy the name will marry +under the conditions portrayed by our great novelist, George +Eliot,--that of another woman being basely forsaken for her sake--then, +and then only, will this reproach that men level at us drop off; then, +and then only, shall we be able to save our own sons and bring in a +better and purer state of things, enabling them to fight the battle of +their life at less tremendous odds; then, and then only, shall we be +able to evolve the true manhood, whose attitude is not to defile and +destroy, but "to look up and to lift up." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 3: _Short History of the English People_, by J.R. Green, p. +247.] + +[Footnote 4: See a little White Cross paper entitled, _Medical +Testimony_.] + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE SECRET AND METHOD + + +There is a simile of Herbert Spencer's, in his book on Sociology, which +has often helped me in dealing with great moral problems. He says: + + "You see that wrought-iron plate is not quite flat; it sticks up a + little here towards the left, 'cockles,' as we say. How shall we + flatten it? Obviously, you reply, by hitting down on the part that + is prominent. Well, here is a hammer, and I give the plate a blow + as you advise. Harder, you say. Still no effect. Another stroke. + Well, there is one, and another, and another. The prominence + remains, you see; the evil is as great as ever, greater, indeed. + But this is not all. Look at the warp which the plate has got near + the opposite edge. Where it was flat before it is now curved. A + pretty bungle we have made of it! Instead of curing the original + defect, we have produced a second. Had we asked an artisan + practised in 'planishing,' as it is called, he would have told us + that no good was to be done, but only mischief, by hitting down on + the projecting part. He would have taught us how to give variously + directed and specially adjusted blows with a hammer elsewhere, so + attacking the evil not by direct but by indirect actions. The + required process is less simple than you thought. Even a sheet of + metal is not to be successfully dealt with after those common-sense + methods in which you have so much confidence. 'Do you think I am + easier to be played on than a pipe?' asked Hamlet. Is humanity more + readily straightened than an iron plate?"[5] + +Now, in our moral "planishing" we need to know where and how to direct +our blows, lest in endeavoring to lessen the evil we not only increase +the evil itself, but produce other evils almost as great as the one we +intended to cure. The mistake that we commit--and this is, I think, +especially true of us women--is to rush at our moral problems without +giving a moment's thought to their causes, which often lie deep hidden +in human nature. Our great naturalist, Darwin, gave eight years' study +to our lowly brother, the barnacle; he gave an almost equal amount of +time to the study of the earthworm and its functions, revealing to us, +in one of his most charming books, how much of our golden harvest, of +our pastures, and our jewelled garden-beds, we owe to this silent and +patient laborer. Yet we think that we can deal with our higher and more +complex human nature without giving it any study at all. We hit down +directly on its moral inequalities, without giving a thought to what has +caused the imperfection, when constantly, as in the sheet of metal which +has to be straightened, the moral disorder has to be met, not directly, +but indirectly--not at the point of the disorder itself, but of its +often unsuspected cause. Purity, like health, like happiness, like so +many of the higher aims of our life, has to be attained altruistically. +Seek them too directly, and they elude our grasp. Like the oarsman, we +have often to turn our back upon our destination in order to arrive at +our end. + +Do not, therefore, think impatiently that I am putting you off with +vague theories when you want practical suggestions, if I ask you first +to give some patient thought to the causes of the disorder which seems +to mark the side of our human nature on which the very existence of the +race depends, and which cannot, therefore, be evil in itself. To me the +problem presented was almost paralyzing. It seemed as if Nature, in her +anxiety to secure the continuance of the species, had taken no account +whatever of the moral law, but had so overloaded the strength of passion +as not only to secure the defeat of the moral law, but even of her own +ends, by producing the sterility which results from vicious indulgence. +It was not till I met with two wonderful sermons on "The Kingdom of +God," by that great master of "divine philosophy," Dr. James Martineau, +that I first got a clue to the moral difficulty and to that fuller +understanding of our human nature which is so essential to all who have +the training and moulding of the young. And, therefore, I ask you to let +me enter at some length into this teaching, which will not only give us +light for our own guidance, but enable us to grasp the right principles +on which we have to act in the moral training of the coming +generation.[6] + +Now, in trying to think out the laws of our own being, we are met at +the very outset by the great crux in the moral world: What is the true +relation of the material to the spiritual,--of the body, with its +instincts and appetites, to the moral personality, with its conscience +and will? On the one hand, seeing the fatal proneness of man to obey his +appetites and run into terrible excesses, ascetics in all ages and of +all creeds have taught that the body itself is evil and the seat of sin; +that its instincts must be crushed and its appetites repressed and +eradicated; and that it is only so far as you trample your animal nature +under foot that you can rise to be a saint. "Brute," "blind," "dead," +have been the epithets bestowed on matter, which is a ceaseless play of +living forces that rest not day nor night. To look down on the material +pleasures with suspicion, to fly contact with the rude world and lose +one's self in the unembodied splendors of the spiritual, to save souls +rather than men and women, to preach abstract doctrines rather than +grapple with hideous concrete problems--this has been the tendency of +the religious spirit in all ages, a tendency of which positive +asceticism, with its mortification of the body, and its ideal of +virginity, and marriage regarded as more or less a concession to the +flesh, is only an exaggeration. + +On the other hand, in disgust at the mutilation of human nature and +under pretext of its consummation, has arisen the "fleshly school," +whose maxim is "obedience to Nature,"--leaving undefined what nature, +the nature of the swine or the nature of the man,--which holds that +every natural instinct ought to be obeyed, which takes the agreeable as +the test of the right, and which goes in for the "healthy animal" with +enlightened self-interest as the safeguard against excesses. + +Alas! the results are no happier. The healthy animal treads under his +feet the helpless and the weak, who suffer that he may grow fat and +kick. The attractive warmth and color and richness are found to be but +rottenness and decay. + +When, dissatisfied with the teaching of men, one turns to the great +world at large, to see whether some practical instinct may not have +guided men to a right adjustment, one's first feeling is one of dismay +at the spectacle presented. The bodily instincts and appetites that seem +to work aright in the animal world, in man seem fatally overloaded, and, +instead of hitting the mark, explode with disaster and death at the +outset. + +Let us now turn to the teaching of Christ, and see whether it does not +explain the deep disorder of the animal instincts in the world of man, +and while saving us on the one hand from the self-mutilation of +asceticism, and from the swinishness of the fleshly school on the +other, whether it does not embrace the truth that is in both and teach +us how to correlate the material and the spiritual. + +Now, Dr. Martineau points out that Christ teaches, in contradistinction +to asceticism, that the animal body, with its instincts and appetites, +is as good on its own plane as the higher and spiritual attributes of +man are on theirs. Our Father knoweth that, in common with other +creatures, we have need of physical good, and He has provided us with a +self-acting mechanism for its attainment, which will work rightly if +only it is left alone and not tampered with. There is the same +provision in us as in them of unconscious instincts and appetites for +carrying on the lower life which is necessary as the platform of the +higher spiritual being, to set it free, as it were, for the pursuit of +its legitimate ends--all those higher and wider interests in life which +are comprised under the one comprehensive name of "the kingdom of God." +And the teaching of Christ is: Neither hate nor fear this part of your +nature with the ascetic, nor pamper and stimulate it with the Hedonist, +but let it alone to act on its own plane; trust it, trust God who made +it, while you throw all your conscious energies into the higher +concerns of life; and you will find, when left to its own unconscious +activity, it is neither an over-nor an under-provision for carrying on +your subsistence and that of the race. "Take no anxious thought +[(Greek: me merimnesete)] for the morrow." "Your Father knoweth that ye +have need of these things," and has arranged your being accordingly. +"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added +to you." "Behold the birds of the air; your heavenly Father feedeth +them." + +"Oh," says the practical man at once, "that is all very fine as +sentiment; it is very Eastern and poetical; but I should like to know +how, in these overcrowded days, I could support myself and family if I +am to trust God to feed me and them like the birds of the air, and only +think about religion." But is not this wholly to misunderstand our +Lord's teaching? How does God feed the birds of the air? Is it not by +incessant and untiring effort on their part? Those who have watched a +pair of birds flying backwards and forwards to the nest under the eave +may well question whether industry can go further. But in the +unconscious being of a bird it is toil without [Greek: merimna], +without thought and worry, and becomes, therefore, the very picture to +us of trust in a higher Power, who has thus adjusted an unerring +instinct to an unfailing end. The insect and the bird provide for the +morrow, while they take no anxious thought for the morrow. "The agility +which achieves it is theirs, the skill and foresight absent from them +remain with God. And thus the simple life of lower natures, in its +unconscious surrender to involuntary though internal guidance, becomes +the negative type of perfect trust."[7] + +But to leave his instincts and appetites to work, unimpeded and +unconscious, on their own plane, while he concerns himself with matters +of truly human interest, is just what man is not content to do. On the +contrary, he takes his higher and spiritual nature down into them. He +enhances their pleasure with all the powers of his imagination; he sets +his intellect to work to plot and plan for their gratification; he loads +them with the whole force of his spiritual will, and in so doing he +overloads and maddens them. The instinct for food and drink, which in +the animal is sufficient for the maintenance of health and activity, in +the man becomes gluttony and drunkenness; the instinct for the +preservation of the race becomes the licentiousness which produces +sterility and defeats its own ends; the instinct of self-maintenance +becomes the feverish greed and money-getting which leave no room for the +higher life of beauty, and science, and worship, and disinterested +service. "Seek ye first the material," says the world, "and all these +things shall be added unto you when you get the time for them"--which +will be probably never. + +Now, then, do we not begin to see why the animal instincts and +appetites, which make for order and happiness, and fufil their end in +the animal world, lead to such intolerable disorder in the world of +man? Their laws, like all other laws in the Divine economy, are holy and +just and good; but man by not observing their conditions makes them work +evil and death. Do you not see that to be a healthy animal is just what +man cannot be except by being a true and high-minded man, all his +conscious energies taken up and absorbed on a higher plane, with none +left over to filter down into and disorder the animal instincts, which +only work aright when left to their own unconscious activity? Fix your +consciousness long enough on the tip of your little finger, and you will +feel a pricking sensation in it. The mind directed intently to any part +of the frame will produce a flow of blood there. Any physician will tell +you that this is one of the greatest difficulties he has to contend with +in his patients; the mind being steadily directed to some disordered +spot increases the congestion which is the result of disease. + +Unconsciousness, therefore, is the very channel in which our animal +nature works healthily and undisturbed according to its own laws. But +you are a self-conscious being, and not as the animals. God keeps the +keys of their nature in His own hands. They are shut up to certain ends +which are in His purpose rather than in their minds. They are locked +within limits of their nature, which are absolute, and cannot, +therefore, be transgressed. But man, in virtue of his self-consciousness, +is emphatically "he who hath the keys, who openeth and no man +shutteth, and who shutteth and no man openeth." All the secret recesses +of your being lie open to you, and no man can close it to your vision. +You can voluntarily shut the door of salvation and hamper the lock, and +no man can open. A limit is no absolute limit to you because your very +consciousness of the limit involves your consciousness of the beyond +which makes it a limit. And therefore to you as a self-knowing +existence, with your being necessarily surrendered into your own hands, +two faculties have been given as a substitute for the unconscious +necessity of an animal nature: First, a self-judging faculty which we +call conscience, or a power of discerning between a lower and a higher, +and a sense of obligation to the higher which enables you to correlate +your faculties and functions in their true order of relative +excellence; and secondly, a spiritual will, capable of carrying the +decisions of conscience into practical execution and attaining to a +necessity of moral law. The true function of man's will is not, +therefore, to add itself on to any one of his instincts and give it a +disordered strength, but, while throwing its chief conscious energies +into the higher interests of life, to rule his instincts and appetites +according to those higher interests. This, when the condition of that +infinitely complex thing, modern civilized life, interferes, as at +times it must do, with the legitimate exercise of his instincts, and +his good has to be subordinated to the good of the greater number, may +occasionally involve a hard struggle, even when the instincts have been +left to their own healthy natural play; but at least it will be all the +difference between a struggle with a spirited animal and a maddened and +infuriated brute. + +"But," asks Dr. Martineau, "if the animal instincts and appetites are to +be directed by conscience and ruled by the will in accordance with the +dictates of conscience, what becomes of the unconsciousness which is +necessary for their right action? Its place is gradually supplied by +habit, which is the unconsciousness of a self-conscious being." The +habit of plain living and spare food, so necessary to high thinking, at +first acquired possibly by real effort of will, by real fasting and +prayer, becomes a second nature, that sets the will free for higher +conquests. The habit of purity, which at first may have resulted only +from a sleepless watch of the will in directing the thoughts and +imagination into safe channels, becomes an instinctive recoil from the +least touch of defilement. The habit of unworldly simplicity, which may +have had to be induced by deliberate self-denial, becomes a natural +disposition which rejects superfluities from unconscious choice. + +This is what takes place where direct conflict is necessitated by the +constant readjustment of the individual, with his instincts and +appetites, to his social environment which so complex a state of society +as that of modern civilization involves. But under ordinary +circumstances, where the teaching of Christ is observed and all the +conscious energies of the man are absorbed in seeking first the kingdom +of God, there the need of conflict on the lower plane is at least +partially done away with. The whole current of thought and will, flowing +into higher channels, is drained away from the lower instincts and +appetites, which are thus restored to their natural unconsciousness, +with only an occasional interference on the part of the will to +subordinate them to human ends and aims, or to those demands of a high +and complex civilization in the benefits of which we all share, but for +whose fuller and richer life we have in some directions to pay, and +perhaps at times to pay heavily. The scientific man who in his +passionate devotion to the search after truth--the kingdom of God as +revealed in the order of the universe--exclaimed testily that he had no +time to waste in making money, had no conflict with the instinct of +self-subsistence maddened into greed. It worked out a sufficient +quotient of bread and cheese to insure the healthy exercise of his +brain, and that was enough. The Alpine climber, intent on mastering a +printless snow-peak, has not to control an appetite sharpened by +mountain air from sinking into the gluttony which would be fatal to the +cool head and steady foot necessary for his enterprise. The man who has +a noble passion for the weak and defenceless, who from the first has +cultivated a chivalrous loyalty to women, putting far from him the +lowering talk, the cynical expression, the moral lassitude of society, +and guarding his high enthusiasm from the blight of worldly commonplace, +has no need to fight against the lower instinct that would degrade them +or wrong the weak and defenceless. The conflict is there, but it is +removed to a nobler and higher battle-field, a battle against the +sacrifice of the weak by the strong, whilst in him the lower life may be +left to settle itself, as in the unconscious birds of the air. "Love +God," as St. Augustine said, "and do what you will." "Be a child of the +water, and you may be a child of the wind, blowing where it listeth." +"Seek the kingdom of God first, and all these things shall be added to +you." + +This, then, is the first great practical lesson that we learn from the +study of the laws of our human nature, taken in their widest aspect, +under the teaching of the Divine Master, the "open secret" of overcoming +in man and woman alike, that which restores to us our whole nature, and +vindicates it, even in the depths of disorder into which it has +practically fallen, as originally bearing the Divine stamp. The more +unconscious we are in the pursuit of physical good, the better for the +ends of life; the more conscious we are in the pursuit of moral and +spiritual good, the nearer we are to that kingdom of righteousness and +peace and joy in the Holy Ghost which we seek. Get out of the narrow +individualism or atomism--for let us never forget that individual and +atom are the same word--which threatens to dwarf and pulverize us, which +keeps within our view only the narrow range of our own interests and +defeats their true pursuit by the very intensity of attention it +concentrates upon them; and live, as Goethe says, "in the beautiful, the +good, and the whole," the kingdom of the Eternal. Have the higher +passion that casts out the lower. The physician whose conscious aim is +the relief of human suffering and the enforcement of the laws of health, +even though a large professional income may be added to him; the lawyer +who regards himself as the minister of the Just One to uphold the law of +right and equity, whose reputation does not rest on his skill in getting +off a fraudulent company without costs, and who makes his money not by +his "practices," but by his honest practice; the man of science who +reverently devotes himself, as the servant of the truth, to "think God's +thoughts after Him," in the words of Kepler's prayer, and establish the +kingdom of law and order, in the humbleness of conscious limitation +which forbids dogmatizing; the artist who is true to his art and does +not subordinate the laws of the eternal Loveliness to the shifting laws +of the temporary market; the capitalist who looks upon himself as the +steward of the public good, and to whom material gain is the means and +not the end; the workman who does good work for the kingdom of God's +sake, knowing that every stroke of good work is a brick in the palace +of the great King, and who scorns to scamp because it pays; and, +generally speaking, every man who is so intent on helping and serving +others that his thoughts are taken off himself and centred on +another--these are the men who are seeking first a kingdom of God, +wherein dwelleth righteousness; these are the men who, living in the +higher life can rule the lower--the men whose feet are in the lilies, +and to whom the floods of earthly passion, even when they beat hardest, +end in the flight of a dove and in a triumphal arch of light. + +Now, you will see at once the intensely practical bearing of this +teaching on the training of your boys. You are not called to hit down +directly on the evil, to give warnings against vice, or to speak on +things which your womanhood unspeakably shrinks from mentioning. What +you are called to do is to secure, so far as you can, that the mind and +soul moves on its own proper plane. It is more an attitude you have to +form than a warning you have to give. And here it is that the imperative +need of high positive teaching comes in. Till parents, and especially +mothers, recognize their God-given functions as the moral teachers of +their own children, till they cease to shunt off their responsibilities +on the professional shoulders of the schoolmaster, we had better frankly +give up the whole question in despair. Strange and sad it seems to me +that at the end of the nineteenth century after the coming of our Lord +I should have to plead that the moral law is possible under every +condition to any man, and that parents are _ipso facto_ the moral +teachers of their own children. And yet it is the denial, tacit or +explicit, of these two primary truths that has been the greatest +obstacle to the progress of my work. + +But I appeal to you: Who but a mother can bring such a constant and +potent influence to bear as to secure the mind and character moving on +its own higher plane in relation to the whole of this side of our +nature? Who so well as a mother can teach the sacredness of the body as +the temple of the Eternal? Who else can implant in her son that habitual +reverence for womanhood which to a man is "as fountains of sweet water +in the bitter sea" of life? Who like a mother, as he grows to years of +sense and observation, and the curiosity is kindled, which is only a cry +for light and teaching, can so answer the cry and so teach as to make +the mysteries of life and truth to be for ever associated for him with +all the sacred associations of home and his own mother, and not with the +talk of the groom or the dirty-minded schoolboy? Who so well as a +mother, as he passes into dawning manhood, can plead faithfulness to the +future wife before marriage as well as after? Nay, as I hold by the old +Spanish proverb "An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy," who +like a mother, by her prayers and ever-present example and influence, +can lead him to the Highest, and impress upon him that his life is +given him for no lower end than, in the words of the Westminster +Confession, "to know God and to glorify Him for ever"; and that +therefore he is made on a very high plan--as Browning puts it, "Heaven's +consummate cup," whose end is to slake "the Master's thirst"; and that +the cup from which He drinks must be clean inside as well as out, and +studded within and without with the pearl of purity? + +But refuse to give him this higher teaching and training; go on, as so +many mothers have done, blankly ignoring the whole subject, because it +is so difficult to speak to one's boys,--as if everything worth having +in this life were not difficult!--leave him to the teaching of dirty +gossip, of unclean classical allusions in his school-books, of scraps of +newspaper intelligence, possibly of bad companions whom he may pick up +at school or business, and be sure of it, as this side of his nature is +awakened--in his search after gratified curiosity or pleasurable +sensation, in utter ignorance of what he is doing, through your fault, +not through his--he will use his imagination and his will to strengthen +the animal instincts. What ought to have been kept on a higher plane of +being will be used to stimulate functions just coming into existence, +and pre-eminently needing to be let alone on their own plane to mature +quietly and unconsciously. Thus dwelt upon and stimulated, these +functions become in a measure disordered and a source of miserable +temptation and difficulty, even if no actual wrong-doing results. If you +only knew what those struggles are, if you only knew what miserable +chains are forged in utter helpless ignorance, you would not let any +sense of difficulty or shrinking timidity make you refuse to give your +boy the higher teaching which would have saved him. + +It is told of the beautiful Countess of Dufferin, by her son and +biographer, Lord Dufferin, that when the surgeons were consulting round +her bedside which they should save--the mother or the child--she +exclaimed, "Oh, never mind me; save my baby!" If you knew the facts as I +know them, I am quite sure you would exclaim, in the face of any +difficulties, any natural shrinking on your part, "Oh, never mind me, +let me save my boys!" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 5: _The Study of Sociology_, by Herbert Spencer (International +Scientific Series), p. 270, fifth edition, 1876.] + +[Footnote 6: I quote here at some length from a White Cross paper called +_Per Augusta ad Augusta_, in which I summarized and applied Dr. +Martineau's teaching, as I do not think I can do it more clearly or in +more condensed form. By some mistake it came out, not under my name, but +under the initials of the writer of _True Manliness_ and several others +of the White Cross Series. I only mention the mistake now to safeguard +my own intellectual honesty.] + +[Footnote 7: _Hours of Thought_, by Dr. Martineau, vol. i., p. 35, third +edition.] + + + + +CHAPTER V + +EARLY BOYHOOD + + +Having now laid down the general principles which we have to recognize +in the moral training of the young, let me endeavor to make some +practical suggestions how these principles may be carried out, +suggestions which, as a matter of fact, I have found to be helpful to +educated mothers in the great and responsible task of training the men +of the future generation. + +All I would earnestly ask you to remember is, that in offering these +suggestions I am in no way venturing to dictate to you, only endeavoring +to place a wide experience at your service. Doubtless you will often +modify and, in some cases, very possibly reverse my conclusions. All I +ask is that you should weigh them thoughtfully and prayerfully and with +an open and unprejudiced mind before you finally reject them. + +Let us, therefore, begin with the nursery. It is in the nursery that the +roots of the evil we have to contend with are often first planted, and +this in more senses than one. In the more obvious sense all experienced +mothers know what I mean. But I am quite sure that there are a large +number of young wives who become mothers without the smallest knowledge +of the dangers to which even infant boys may be exposed. This ignorance +is painfully shown by the frequent application for nursemaids from our +penitentiaries. At one house where I held a small meeting my young +hostess, an intelligent literary woman, came into my room after the +household had retired to rest to ask me about some curious actions which +she had noticed in her baby boy at night. There could not be a doubt or +a question that her nurse was corrupting her little child before that +hapless young mother's eyes, and forming in him habits which could only +lead to misery hereafter, and only too possibly to idiocy and death; and +that young mother was too ignorant to save her own baby boy! Indeed, I +know of no greater instance of the cruelty of "the conspiracy of +silence" than the fact that in all the orthodox medical manuals for +young mothers the necessary knowledge is withheld.[8] But more +marvellous still is the fact that women should ever have placidly +consented to an ignorance which makes it impossible for them to save +even baby boys from a corrupt nursemaid, who by some evil chance may +have found her way into their service through a false character or under +some other specious disguise, not seeing at once that the so-called +delicacy which shrinks from knowing everything that is necessary in +order to save is not purity but prurience. + +I would, therefore, beseech young mothers who are conscious of their own +ignorance to see a lady doctor, if they do not like to consult their own +family physician, and ask her to tell them plainly what they have to +guard against and the best methods to pursue. All I can say here is to +beseech every mother to be absolutely careful about the antecedents of +her nursemaids, and only to admit those of unblemished character into +the precincts of the nursery. Never, if possible, let your baby boy +sleep with any one but yourself, if through illness or any other cause +he cannot sleep in his own little cot. Pyjamas, I think, are generally +recognized now to be the best form of night gear, as keeping the little +limbs warm and covered, when in the restlessness of sleep the child +throws off the bedclothes, as well as for other and more vital reasons. +If through straitened means you cannot afford an experienced nurse--not +that I should altogether allow that even the experienced nurse is to be +implicitly and blindly trusted until she has been well tested--then I +would entreat you not to let sleepiness or ill health or any other +excuse prevent you from being always present at your boy's morning bath. +Often and often evil habits arise from imperfect washing and consequent +irritation; and many a wise mother thinks it best on this account to +revert to the old Jewish rite of initiation by which cleanliness was +secured. Teach them from the first self-reverence in touch, as in word +and deed, and watch even their attitudes in sleep, that the little arms +are folded lightly upwards. Even experienced nurses are not always nice +in their ways. Be vigilantly watchful that the utmost niceness is +observed between the boys and girls in the nursery, and that childish +modesty is never broken down, but, on the contrary, nurtured and +trained. Knowledge and watchfulness are the two cherubim with the +flaming sword turning all ways to guard the young tree of life and bar +the way of every low and creeping thing. If I may venture in some sort +to reverse our Lord's words, I should say His word to all mothers is, +"What I say unto all I say especially unto you, _Watch_." + +But there is another and a deeper sense in which the root of the evil is +first planted and nourished in the nursery. If we are to contend with +this deadly peril to soul and body, I cannot but feel that we must bring +about a radical change in the training of our boys. There must be some +radical defect in that training for men to take the attitude they do. I +do not mean bad, dissipated men, but men who in all other relations of +life would be designated fairly good men. Once let such a man be +persuaded--however wrongly--that his health, or his prospect of having +some day a family of his own, will suffer from delayed marriage and he +considers the question settled. He will sacrifice his health to +over-smoking, to excess in athletics, to over-eating or champagne +drinking, to late hours and overwork; but to sacrifice health or future +happiness to save a woman from degradation, bah! it never so much as +enters his mind. Even so high-minded a writer as Mr. Lecky, in his +_History of European Morals_,[9] deliberately proposes that the +difficulty of deferred marriage which advanced civilization +necessitates, at least for the upper classes, should be met by temporary +unions being permitted with a woman of a lower class. The daughters of +workingmen, according to this writer, are good enough as fleshly +stop-gaps, to be flung aside when a sufficient income makes the true +wife possible--an honorable proceeding indeed! to say nothing of the +children of such a temporary union, to whom the father can perform no +duty, and leave no inheritance, save the inestimable one of a mother +with a tainted name. Verily there must be some fault in our training of +men! Certainly an intelligent American mother put her finger on the +blot, so far as we are concerned, when, speaking to me many years ago, +she said what struck her so in our English homes was the way in which +the girls were subordinated to the boys; the boys seemed first +considered, the girls in comparison were nowhere. Doubtless our English +homes are more at fault here than in America; but, as a mother's pride +in her boys is the same all over the world, may not even American homes +admit of a little improvement in this respect as well? And, if we choose +to bring up our boys to look upon their mothers and sisters as more or +less the devoted slaves of their selfishness, can we wonder that they +should grow up to look upon all women as more or less the slaves of +their needs, fleshly or otherwise? + +Now, what I want all boys taught from their earliest years is, roughly +speaking, that boys came into the world to take care of girls. Whatever +modification may take place in our view of the relation of the sexes, +Nature's great fact will remain, that the man is the stronger--a +difference which civilization and culture seem to strengthen rather than +diminish; and from his earliest years he ought to be taught that he, +therefore, is the one that has to serve. It is the strong that have to +bear the burden of the weaker, and not to prostitute that strength by +using it to master the weaker into bearing their loads. It is the man +who has to give himself for the woman, not the other way on, as we have +made it. Nay, this is no theory of mine; it is a truth implanted in the +very heart of every true man. "Every true man," as Milton says, "is born +a knight," diligently as we endeavor to stub up this royal root, +constantly, as from the very nursery, we endeavor to train it out of +him. You may deny the truth and go on some theory of your own in the +training of your boys, but the truth cannot deny itself. It is _there_, +whether you will have it or not, a root of the tree of life itself. + +Now there is not a day that need pass without opportunities of training +your boys in this their true knightly attitude. You can see, as I have +already said, that they learn in relation to their own sisters what in +after years they have to practise towards all women alike. To give up +the comfortable easy-chair, the favorite book or toy, the warmest place +by the fire, to the little sister--this ought to become a second nature +to a well-trained boy. To carry a parcel for her, to jump up and fetch +anything she wants, to give in to her because he is a boy and the +stronger--all this ought to be a matter of course. As he grows older you +can place him in little positions of responsibility to his sisters, +sending them out on an expedition or to a party under his care. In a +thousand such ways you can see that your boy is not only born but grows +up a knight. I was once in a house where the master always brought up +the heavy evening water-cans and morning coal-scuttles for the maids. +And if these were placed at the foot of the stairs so as to involve no +running in and out of the kitchen, it might be no mean exercise for a +boy's muscles. + +I was told only the other day of a little six-year-old boy whose mother +had brought him up from babyhood on these principles. He was playing +with his little sister on a bed, when suddenly he perceived that she +was getting perilously near the edge which was farthest from the wall. +Instantly he dismounted and went round to the other side, and, climbing +up, pushed her gently into the middle of the bed, remarking +sententiously to himself, "I think boys ought always to take the +dangerous side of their sisters." Ah me! if only you mothers would but +train your boys to "take the dangerous side of their sisters," +especially of those poor little sisters who are thrust forth at so early +an age to earn their own living, alone and unprotected, on the perilous +highways of the world, skirted for them by so terrible a precipice, what +a different world would it be for us women, what a purer and better +world for your sons! + +Surely the womanhood in our homes ought to enable us to bring up our +boys in such an habitual attitude of serving a woman, of caring for her, +of giving himself for her, that it would become a moral impossibility +for him ever to lower or degrade a woman in his after-life. + +In concluding these suggestions there is one point I must emphasize, the +more so as in treating of one particular moral problem it is difficult +not to seem to ignore a truth which is simply vital to all moral +training. Let us clearly recognize that there is no such thing as moral +specialism. Our moral being, like Wordsworth's cloud, "moveth altogether +if it move at all." You cannot strengthen one particular virtue except +by strengthening the character all round. Cardinal Newman points out--I +think in one of those wonderful Oxford sermons of his--that what our +ancestors would have called "a bosom sin" will often take an underground +course and come to the surface at quite an unexpected point in the +character. Hidden licentiousness, which one would expect to evince +itself in over-ripe sentiment and feeling, manifests itself instead in +cruelty and hardness of heart. The little habit of self-indulgence which +you in your foolish fondness have allowed in that boy of yours may, in +after-life, come out as the very impurity which you have endeavored so +earnestly to guard him against. This mystical interdependence and hidden +correlation of our moral and intellectual being is a solemn thought, and +can only be met by recognizing that the walls of the citadel must be +strengthened at all points in order to resist the foe at one. +Truthfulness, conscientiousness that refuses to scamp work, devotion to +duty, temperance in food and drink, rectitude--these things are the +bastions of purity of life, as well as of all high character. + +But in these days I think we have more especially to remember that the +Beautiful Gate of all noble living rests, like the gate of the Jewish +Temple, on two pillars, both of which show signs of being considerably +out of repair. One of these pillars is obedience, or discipline. If you +have not exacted prompt and unhesitating obedience in your boy, from his +earliest childhood, to the parents whom he has seen, do you think that +in after years he will obey the Father of Lights, whom he has not seen? +Do you think, if you have let him set your authority at defiance, he +will in future years, with temptation on one side and opportunity on the +other, bow to the invisible authority of conscience? What is it, I ask, +that makes the army the finest school for character, giving us our +Lawrences, our Havelocks, our Gordons, our Kitcheners, but simply this +habit of implicit obedience, of that discipline which has grown so +grievously lax in so many of our English homes? In Carlyle's strong +words, "Obedience is our universal duty and destiny, wherein whoso will +not bend must break: too early and too thoroughly we cannot be trained +to know that 'would,' in this world of ours, is as mere zero to +'should,' and for most part as the smallest of fractions even to +'shall.'"[10] + +The second great pillar of the portal of noble life seems to me to show +still greater signs of being out of repair and in want of restoration, +and that pillar is reverence,--that heaven-eyed quality which Dr. +Martineau rightly places at the very top of the ethical scale. Let that +crumble, and the character which might have been a temple sinks into a +mere counting-house. When in these days children are allowed to call +their father Dick, Jack, or Tom, and nickname their own mother; when +they are allowed to drown the voice of the most honored guest at the +table with their little bald chatter, so that even the cross-questioning +genius of a Socrates would find itself at a discount; when they are +allowed to criticise and contradict their elders in a way that would +have appalled our grandmothers; when they are suffered to make remarks +which are anything but reverent on sacred things--have I not some reason +to fear that the one attribute which touches the character to fine +issues is threatened with extinction? Do you think that the boy who has +never been taught to reverence his own mother's womanhood will reverence +the degraded womanhood of our streets, or hear that Divine Voice +guarding all suffering manhood and all helpless womanhood from wrong at +his hands, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have +done it unto Me?" + +Oh, I would entreat you to set yourself firmly against this evil +tendency of our day, to which I cannot but believe so much of its +agnosticism is due,--that deadening down and stamping out of the +spiritual instincts of our nature, those great intuitions of the soul, +which lie both above and below all reasoning and logic and form their +basis rather than their apex. Once let the springs of reverence be +choked up, once let that window of the soul be overgrown with weeds and +cobwebs, and your most careful training will only produce a character +estimable in many respects, but for the most part without noble +aspirations, without high ideals, with no great enthusiasms--a +character, to use Saint Beuve's expressive phrase, "tout en façade sur +la rue," whose moral judgments are no better than street cries; the type +of man that accepts the degradation of women with blank alacrity as a +necessity of civilization, and would have it regulated, like any other +commodity for the market; that very common type of character which, +whatever its good qualities, spreads an atmosphere of blight around it, +stunting all upward growing things and flattening down our life to the +dead level of desert sands. + +If you would not be satisfied at your boy rising no higher than this, +then, again I say, guard the springs of reverence. Do not let your pride +in your child's smartness or any momentary sense of humor make you pass +over any little speech that savors of irreverence; check it instantly. +Exact respect for yourself and for the boy's father, the respect which +is no enemy, but the reverse, to the uttermost of fondness. Insist upon +good manners and respectful attention to the guests of your house. Do +not despise the good old fashion of family prayers because they do not +rise to all that we might wish them to be. At least they form a daily +recognition of "Him in whom the families of the earth are blessed"--a +daily recognition which that keen observer of English life, the late +American Ambassador, Mr. Bayard, pointed out as one of the great secrets +of England's greatness, and which forms a valuable school for habits of +reverence and discipline for the children of the family. Insist upon +the boys being down in time for the worship of God, and do not allow +them to get into the habit indulged in by so many young men of "sloping" +down with slippered feet long after breakfast is done and prayers are +over. + +Only let the springs of reverence well up in your child's soul, and +then, and then only, will you be able to give your boy what, after all, +must always be the greatest safeguard from shipwreck in this perilous +world--religious faith, that stops him at the very threshold of +temptation with the words: "How can I do this great wickedness and sin +against God?" Your very attitude as you kneel by his side with bowed +head and folded hands while he says his little evening and morning +prayer will breathe into his soul a sense of a Divine Presence about our +bed and about our path. Your love--so strong to love, and yet so weak to +save--can lead his faltering childish feet to that Love which is deeper +than our deepest fall, "which knows all, but loves us better than it +knows." You can press your child against the very heart of God, and lay +him in the Everlasting Arms, that faint not, neither are weary; and, +with the mother of St. Augustine, you may know that the child of such +prayers and such tears will never perish. + + "Happy he + With such a mother! faith in womankind + Beats with his blood, and trust in all things high + Comes easy to him, and though he trip and fall + He shall not blind his soul with clay." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 8: This is the case with our recognized medical manuals; I do +not know whether it is equally true of American manuals.] + +[Footnote 9: Vol. ii. See chapter on "The Position of Women."] + +[Footnote 10: _Sartor Resartus_, by Thomas Carlyle, Book II., chap, ii., +p. 68. Chapman and Hall, 1831.] + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +BOYHOOD AND SCHOOL LIFE + + +I now come to what must always be the great moral crux in a boy's life, +that on which all the higher issues of his character will, in all human +probability, turn--his school life. One of our great educators took +what, looked at superficially, seemed the somewhat retrograde step of +giving up the mastership of a college at Oxford to take again the +head-mastership of a great public school. But in a conversation I had +with him he led me to infer that he had done so from the conviction +forced upon him that the whole moral trend of the character must be +given, if given at all, prior to university life, at the public school; +and to him nothing less than the formation of high moral character +seemed worth striving for. Fine scholarship and high mathematics are +excellent, but after all, as the apostle of culture, Matthew Arnold, has +told us, conduct, and not intellectual attainment, forms seven-tenths of +life. + +Now, it is in connection with your boy's school life that you will have +your greatest dangers to face, your hardest battle to fight. + +I am, of course, aware that your school system is in some respects +different from ours. You have the mixed day school such as largely +obtains in Scotland, but which does not exist, at least for the upper +classes, in England. You have private boarding-schools, which with us +are called preparatory schools, as they form the vestibule to the public +school. And you have, lastly, a few large public schools somewhat on the +model of Eton and Harrow. + +Let us begin with the boarding-school. I do not intend for one moment to +deny the advantages of our great English public schools. They are +excellent for discipline and the formation of strong character, +especially for a ruling race like ours; and their very numerical +strength and importance command a splendid set of men as masters. But +both public and private boarding-schools labor under one great +disadvantage: they remove a boy from all family influence and violate +the order of our life, which can never be violated with impunity. Boys +and girls are sent into the world in pretty equal proportions, and we +were never intended to pile a lot of boys together without girls and +largely without any feminine influence whatever. To do so is to insure +moral disorder whether in our schools or yours. To quote from an +excellent paper of Dr. Butler's: "In giving us sisters," says one of the +Hares in _Guesses at Truth_, "God gave us the best moral antiseptic," +and it is their absence more than anything else that has produced the +moral problems which our boarding-schools present. To be absent from +sisters for the greater part of the year, at an age when their +companionship is perhaps the most eloquent of silent appeals to purity, +is undoubtedly one of the greatest evils to be set against the blessings +of our public schools.[11] + +For my own part, I can only say that the one thing which has filled me +at times with the darkness of despair has not been the facts about our +back streets, not those facts to meet which we hold conferences and +establish penitentiaries, refuges, preventive homes, etc.--I am full of +hopefulness about them--but the facts about our public, and still more +about our private, schools, which until lately have been met with dead +silence and masterly inactivity on the part of English parents. On the +part of mothers I feel sure it is ignorance, not indifference: if they +knew what I know, it simply could not be the latter. Even now, when +some, at least, of their ignorance has been dispelled, I doubt whether +they realize the depth of moral corruption which is to be found in our +public and private schools; the existence of heathen vices which by the +law of our land are treated as felony, and which we would fain hope, +after nineteen centuries of Christianity, might now be relegated to the +first chapter of Romans. They do not realize the presence of other and +commoner forms of impurity, the self-defilement which taints the moral +nature and stimulates the lower nature into unhealthy and abnormal +activity. They do not understand the essentially sporadic nature of the +evil--that it may exist "as a pestilence that walketh in darkness" in +one boarding-school, while another, owing to the influence of a good set +of boys, is comparatively free from it; and they will, therefore, take a +single denial of its existence, possibly from their own husbands, as +conclusive. Even the affirmations of head-masters are not altogether to +be trusted here, as mothers cannot betray the confidence of their own +boys, and often fail in gaining their consent to let the head-master +know what is going on, in the boy's natural dread of being found out as +the source of the information and, according to the ruling code, cut, as +having "peached." Once I obtained leave to expose an indescribable state +of things which was going on in broad daylight in an unsupervised room +at one of our great public schools, utterly unsuspected by the +head-master, and his subordinate, the house-master. But another case +which for long made my life a kind of waking nightmare remained +unexposed to the last. + +Speaking of those commoner forms of impurity to which I have referred, +and which are so mischievous as stimulating immature functions, needing, +as Acton over and over again insists, absolute quiet and rest for +healthy development, Dr. Dukes, the head physician of one of our best +known public schools, states: "The reason why it is so widespread an +evil"--computed in 1886 at eighty per cent. of boys at school, a +computation accepted by a committee of public schoolmasters--"I believe +to be, that the boy leaves home in the first instance without one word +of warning from his parents that he will meet with bad boys who will +tell him that everybody does it, and thus he falls into evil ways from +his innocence and ignorance alone."[12] + +Dr. Dukes further states that as the results of his thirty years' +experience he had come to the conclusion that only one per cent. of +parents ever warned their boys at all before sending them to school. + +These statements were made some fifteen years ago, when first the +conspiracy of silence was broken through and the question of the +morality of our public and private schools was dragged into the light of +day and boldly faced and grappled with, largely owing to the action of +Dr. Pusey. Since then a mass of strenuous effort has been directed +against the evil by our high-minded head-masters; and an immense +improvement has been effected. It is too short a time for one to hope +that the evil has been eradicated; but when parents learn to fulfil +their moral duties of teaching and warning their own boys--as Dr. Dukes +observes--I feel sure it could be so far removed as to cause the numbers +to change places, so that we might obtain a percentage of ninety to +ninety-five of those who lead pure lives while at school, as against +five per cent, who are impure, reversing the lamentable ratio that now +exists. But here again there has been progress, and I feel sure that the +percentage of parents who do warn and teach their sons before sending +them to school is now incomparably higher than Dr. Dukes's "one per +cent." and is steadily rising. + +As to other deeper and nameless evils, they have been already reduced to +a minimum, and if fathers could only be persuaded to do their duty by +their own boys, they might be made wholly to disappear. + +I give you these facts about our English schools, that parents may see +for themselves what are the consequences of refusing both teaching and +warning to their boys, under the delusion that God's lilies will grow up +in the weedy garden of the human heart without strenuous culture and +training. + +Do not, therefore, I beseech you, take for granted that your +boarding-schools are entirely free from such evils. You have the same +conditions that we have. Till lately your boys have been as untaught and +unwarned as ours. In your boarding-schools, as in ours, they are removed +from the purifying influence of mother and sisters. They are just at the +age which has neither the delicacy of childhood nor of early manhood. +Rest assured that conditions will breed like results. + + "My belief, not lightly formed," says Dr. Butler,[13] "is, that + none of the great schools can congratulate themselves on anything + like safety from this danger. And if this is true of the great + public schools, it is still more true of private schools, where the + evil is admittedly greater. Boys and masters alike may strangely + deceive themselves; the evil may hide very close. Many a boy has + been known to assert positively and honestly that nothing of the + kind was ever heard of in his time, and that any fellow suspected + of it would have been cut, and half killed, when all the time the + evil was actively at work even among the circle of his intimate + friends." + +And yet it is this evil, so pervasive in its influence, so certain to +taint the fresh springs of young life with impure knowledge, if not to +foul them with unclean acts, that parents still too often elect to +ignore. The boy, full of eager curiosity, anxious, above all things, to +catch up the ways of the other fellows, afraid, above all things, of +being laughed at for his innocence, and elated at being taken up by one +of the swells in the shape of an elder boy, and at first set-off wholly +ignorant of the motive; exposed to suggestions about the functions of +his own body which he has not the knowledge to rebut as the devil's +lies--what wonder is it that so many boys, originally good and pure, +fall victims? "They blunder like blind puppies into sin," a medical man +who has had much to do with boys' schools exclaimed to me in the +bitterness of his soul. The small house of the young boy's soul, full of +the song of birds, the fresh babble of the voices of sisters, all the +innocent sights and sounds of an English or American home, swept and +garnished till now by such loving hands, but left empty, unguarded, and +unwatched, for the unclean spirit to lift the latch and enter in and +take possession--the pity of it! oh, the pity of it! What can the boy +think? To quote Dr. Dukes again: + + "He will say to himself: 'My father knows of all this vice at + schools, and yet has not said one word to me about it. He has + warned me about most things. He told me to be truthful, to keep my + temper, to be upright and manly, to say my prayers; he pressed me + never to get into debt, never to drink, and never to use bad + language; and he told me I ought to change my boots and clothes + when wet, so as not to get ill; and yet he has not said one + syllable about this. My father is a good man and loves me, and if + he wanted me not to do this he would surely have told me; it can't + be very wrong, else I am sure he would have protected me and told + me all about it." + +I remember a friend of mine, who had been greatly stirred on the whole +subject, endeavoring, with tears in her eyes, to persuade a father to +warn his boy before sending him to his first public school, and on his +absolutely refusing to do any such thing, she said to him, "At least +promise me that you will give him this book," placing in his hands Mr. +George Everett's excellent little book, _Your Innings_. This he +consented to do. The next morning my friend met him at breakfast, the +boy having been already despatched by an early train. "Well," he said, +"I sat up till past twelve last night reading your book; it is +excellent, and I gave it to my lad before starting him off. But there +is just one chapter in it, called a 'Strange Companion,' which I took +the precaution of previously cutting out with my penknife; and my boy in +his after years will thank me for not putting any such ideas in his +head, but having kept him the pure and innocent lad that he is." I need +not say that it was the one chapter that would have put the boy on his +guard. Oh, befooled and purblind father! I happened to know that the +school to which the boy was sent was swept at that time by a moral +epidemic, and before that hapless lad had been a week in its corrupt +atmosphere he would have had ideas put into his head with a vengeance. +His father had handed over the ground of his boy's heart for the devil +to sow the first crop, and as a rule the devil sows, not wild oats, as +we say, but acorns--a dread sowing which it may take years to root up +and to extirpate, even if, so far as after-taint is concerned, it can +ever be wholly extirpated. + +In another case a widowed mother came to one of my meetings, and was +profoundly alarmed at what I said about the dangers of our schoolboys. +It had never occurred to her that her gentlemanly little lad of twelve +could have any temptations of the kind. Unlike the father I have +mentioned, she resolved to speak to him that same evening. She found +that he was fighting a battle against the whole school, standing up +alone for the right, guided by some blind instinct of purity to resist +the foul suggestions which were inflicted upon him, threatening him +with the most terrible consequences in after-life if he did not yield +and do as the other boys did. Think of it, ye mothers! a child of twelve +without a hand to guide him, without a voice to cheer him, refused the +knowledge that would have saved him from his deadly peril, his own +mother deaf and dumb and blind to his struggles, leaving him to fight +his little forlorn hope absolutely alone. I need scarcely say how +thankfully he poured forth his sore heart to his mother when once she +had opened the door, till now kept locked by her own ignorance; and how +she was able to explain to him that, far from reaping any evil +consequences from doing what is right, like Sir Galahad, "his strength +would be the strength of ten" if he kept himself pure. She probably took +steps to remove him from so corrupt an atmosphere as prevailed in that +preparatory school, but of this I do not know. + +But here let me guard myself from being misunderstood. I am not making +out that every schoolboy is exposed to these temptations; there are boys +so exceptionally endowed that they seem to spread a pure atmosphere +around them which is respected by even the coarsest and loosest boys in +the school. All I do maintain, with Dr. Butler, is that no school is +safe from this danger, that at any time it may prove an active one in +your boy's life, and that at the very least you have to guard him from +impure knowledge being thrust upon him before nature has developed the +instincts of manhood by which she guards her inner shrine. + +And now I come to the question of day schools. As I have already said, I +cannot feel but they are more consonant with the order of our life as +giving the discipline and competition of numbers without removing the +boy from family life, nor do they lend themselves to some of the graver +evils of our boarding-schools. But, alas! in themselves they form no +panacea for the evils we are contemplating. On the contrary, I am told +on authority I cannot question that in some places this plague spot is +rife among them. In one case the evil had struck so wide and deep that +the school had to be temporarily closed. Here, again, the same lesson is +emphasized, viz.: that whatever is the form of the school, however +excellent the teacher, there is no substitute in the moral life for the +home teaching and training of mothers and fathers. + +No mother can read these statements unmoved--statements, remember, not +my own, but made by men of the deepest and widest experience, and which, +therefore, you are bound to weigh, ponder, and carefully consider. I +know that straight from your heart again comes the cry, "What can I do?" + +I am inclined to answer this cry in one word, "Everything,"--with God's +help. + + +I + +And now let us enter into practical details. We will begin with the +outworks, and work our way inwards to the shrine. + +First, as to the all-important choice of a school, should the boy's +father decide, for reasons in which you concur to send him to a +boarding-school. + +As to how to ascertain the real state of a school there is, of course, +considerable difficulty. I have always found the best way is through +mothers who have gained the confidence of their boys and who know +through them what really goes on. In this way, as mothers wake up to the +danger their boys run and to their own responsibility in guarding them, +we shall be able to help one another more and more. But make a point of +yourself, as well as the boy's father, personally seeing the master to +whom you think of entrusting your lad, and talking over the matter with +him. In this way you will not only satisfy yourself, but you will +strengthen his hands by making him feel how vital the whole question is +to your heart. What more than anything else weakens the high-minded men +who have the tuition of the young is the utter unconcern that is evinced +by the parents and the sense that, by the payment of a sum of money +down, they can compound with a master for the performance of their +inalienable duty of undertaking the moral education of their own +children. + +Here let me give you two most earnest cautions. Do not attach too much +importance to mere mechanical arrangements as moral safeguards. One of +our most successful head-masters says: + + "I would most seriously warn any parent anxious about the choice of + a school not to attach much weight to the apparent excellence of + arrangements. Some of the worst schools have these arrangements in + the highest perfection. They cannot afford to have them otherwise. + Neat cubicles and spotless dimity have beguiled an uninterrupted + sequence of mammas, and have kept alive, and even flourishing, + schools which are in a thoroughly bad moral state and are + hopelessly inefficient in every particular. Of course, many a + parent feels that he ought to judge for himself, and these + mechanical arrangements are too often the only material on which he + can form his judgment. Let me assure him that they are entirely + untrustworthy." + +Secondly, do not think to find safety in the choice of a so-called +"religious" school, even though it reflect the exact shade of your own +religious opinions. The worst evils I ever knew went on in a school +where the boys implicated held a weekly prayer-meeting! We must boldly +face the fact that there is some mysterious connection between the +religious emotions and the lower animal nature; and the religious +forcing-house, of whatever school of theology, will always be liable to +prove a hot-bed of impurity. Choose a school with a high moral tone, +with religion as an underlying principle--a practical religion, that +inculcates duty rather than fosters emotion, and embodies the wise +proverb of Solomon, "In all labor there is profit, but the talk of the +lips tendeth to penury." + +Only let me beseech you to use your whole influence not to have your +boy sent away at too early an age. Do you really think that the +exclusive society of little boys, with their childish chatter, their +foolish little codes, their crude and often ridiculously false notions +of life, and their small curiosities, naturally inquisitive, but not +always clean in the researches they inspire, and _always_ false in their +results, is morally better for your child than, in Dr. Butler's words, + + "the refining and purifying atmosphere of home, with the tenderness + of a mother, the grace and playfulness of sisters, the love and + loyalty of the family nurse, and lastly--scarcely to be + distinguished in its effects from these influences--the sweetness, + the simplicity, the flower-picking, the pony-patting of happy, + frolicsome younger brothers or sisters in the garden, the paddock, + or stable?" + +If the boy has got out of hand, I ask, Whose fault is that? and is it +fair to the child that your fault should be remedied by sending him away +from all that is best and most purifying in child life? I would plead +earnestly that eleven or twelve is old enough for the private school, +and that a boy should not be sent to a public school before fourteen. In +this I think most of our English head-masters would agree with me. Till +this age, a day school or a tutor should be had recourse to, and when +the time comes for sending him off to school, at least we can refuse to +place the boy anywhere, either at a private or public school, where +there is not some woman to mother and look after the boys and exert a +good womanly influence over them. A head-master keenly alive to moral +dangers, with a capable wife ready to use her womanly influence in +aiding and abetting his efforts, I have found the best possible +combination. + +But if it is decided that the boys are to be brought up at the day +school, your range of choice will probably be very small. You will have +to look wholly to your home influence and teaching to counteract any +evil influence they may encounter in their school life. But as your boys +will never be separated from you, what may not that home influence and +teaching, with knowledge and forewarning to direct it,--what may it not +accomplish? + + +II + +Let us, then, think out the best ways in which you can warn and guard +your boy and fulfil your responsibility of being his moral teacher. + +Let us begin with the simplest measure which you can take, and which can +present no difficulty to anyone. Before sending your boy to school get +him quietly by himself and say to him some such words as these: "My boy, +you know, or will come to know, that when boys get together they often +talk of nasty things, and even do nasty things. Give me your word of +honor as a Christian and a gentleman that you will never say or do +anything that you know you would be ashamed to tell me, that you know +would bring a blush to your sister's cheeks. Always remember that dirty +talk, and still more dirty deeds, are only fit for cads. Promise me +faithfully that you will never let any boy, especially an elder boy, +tell you 'secrets.' If you were to consent through curiosity, or because +you feel flattered at one of the elder fellows taking you up, be sure he +means you no good. Whatever you want to know ask me, and so far as I can +I will tell you." Some such words as these said solemnly to a boy the +day before he leaves home for the first time, either for a +boarding-school, or even a day school, will make your womanhood a sort +of external conscience to your boy, to guard him from those first +beginnings of impurity, in the shape of what are technically called +"secrets," which lead on to all the rest. I know one mother who, from +her boy's earliest years, has made a solemn pact with him, on the one +hand, if he would promise never to ask any questions about life and +birth of anyone but her, she, in her turn, would promise to tell him all +he wanted to know; and from first to last there has been that perfect +confidence and friendship between mother and son which is, and ever must +be, a boy's greatest safeguard. + +Only remember that with young boys men who have had the greatest +experience are generally agreed that it is better not to put the stress +on religious motives. Practically, for a young boy, it is better to +treat the whole thing as dirty, nasty, and blackguardly. And the whole +subject must always be spoken of with reserve, without any emotion, and +with much "dry light." + +With most lads I should go a step further; I should give the boy one of +the White Cross papers, "A Strange Companion."[14] It is impossible to +lay down hard and fast rules; it is impossible to make so many jam-pots +of even young humanity, to be tied up and labelled and arranged upon the +same shelf. Each individuality has to be dealt with in all its +mysterious idiosyncrasy. One boy may be so reserved that it is better to +write to him than to talk face to face; another may find the greatest +possible strength and comfort in freedom of speech and the feeling that +there is no barrier between him and his mother with regard to being able +to tell her freely of any temptations that may assail him. Your mother's +instincts will be your best guide as to what method to adopt with each +of your boys. + +If the father of the lad can be induced, at any rate before he enters a +boarding-school, to follow the advice of that remarkable man, Mr. +Thring, the founder of Uppingham School, in his address to our Church +Congress, and write a letter of plain warning and counsel to the lad, it +would be an unspeakable help. "My first statement," says Mr. Thring, +"is that all fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. It is +not difficult, if done in a common-sense way."[15] + +But now I come to what on all hands we must allow to be a point of +extreme difficulty. I think all head-masters, deeply concerned in the +moral welfare of the boys under their charge, would emphatically endorse +the following words of Dr. Butler's: + + "It is certain, it must needs be, that boys should, at an early + period of their boyhood, come to hear of the nature of sexual + relations. From whom should they first learn it? Should it be with + every accompaniment of coarseness, of levity, of obscenity? From + some ribald groom in the stables? From some impure maidservant who + has stolen into the household and the nursery? From some brother + only a year or two older, who has just received his first + initiation in impurity at a private school and is too young to + understand its danger? Worst of all, from the idlest, and most + corrupt, and most worthless set of boys at this same private + school, who surround the newcomer within a few days, perhaps a few + hours, of his first joining, and, with knowing looks and enticing + words, try to probe his childish knowledge, and leave him + half-ashamed of himself and keenly inquisitive for full initiation, + if he finds that he knows nothing of this engrossing mystery? Is it + right, is it fair, is it consistent with religious duty or with + common-sense, that a little boy of eight, or ten, or twelve, should + be sent at this impressionable age to hear for the first time of + facts of human nature which must ere long be known, and are part of + God's appointment? Does not every dictate of humanity and of reason + point to the conclusion that the dawn of this knowledge should be + invested with all that is tender, and loving, and pure, and sacred, + instead of being shrouded in the mists of innuendo or blazoned + forth in the shamelessness of bestiality? There is really no + answer but one to such a question, and the plain truth is that + fathers, perhaps still more mothers, must recognize the duty which + lies upon them to teach their children, at such times, in such + words, and with such reservations as the character of each child + may suggest, the elements at least of that knowledge which will + otherwise be learnt but a very little later from a widely different + set of instructors. I lay down the principle as admitting of no + exception--I do not anticipate even one dissentient voice from any + who now hear me--_that no boy ought ever to be allowed to go to + school without learning from his father or his mother, or from some + brother or tried friend considerably older than himself the simple + facts as to the laws of birth and the terrible danger of ever + coming to talk of these phenomena as matters of frivolous and + filthy conversation_." + +I can only beseech you to give due weight to these words of one who had +many years' experience of a large public school. Over and over again, at +all my meetings of educated mothers, I have reiterated his question in +similar words, "Is it right, is it fair, that your boy should learn the +sacred mysteries of life and birth from the sources which Dr. Butler +enumerates, and to which you abandon him, if you refuse to speak; +sources of unclean and lying information by which I have no hesitation +in saying that the mind and conscience of many men are more or less +permanently defiled, even when the life has been kept outwardly pure?" +Can you hesitate for one moment to allow that the springs of the life +which you will be the first to acknowledge comes from God should well up +from a pure source, till, like Wordsworth's stream-- + + "Crowned with flowers, + The mountain infant to the sun laughs forth," + +and that the whole subject should be so bound up in the boy's mind with +his father's love for his mother, his mother's love for his father, with +his own existence, and that of his sisters, that he would shrink with +utter loathing from the filthy so-called "secrets" that are bandied +about among schoolboys? I know that the task of conveying this knowledge +presents many difficulties, but again I ask, "What is there in our life +that is worth doing which is not difficult?" Long ago the definition of +a difficulty to me has become "a thing to be overcome." It is not in +sitting down helplessly before a difficulty that the way will open. With +us, as with the Israelites on the brink of that raging midnight sea, it +is in a brave obedience to the Divine command, "Go forward!" that the +path opens through the trackless sea, and we find that the great waters +that seem ready to overwhelm us are in reality a baptism into new life. + + +III + +Again I seem almost to hear the cry of your heart, "I know I ought to +speak to my boy, but how am I to do it?" + +Now, it is here that I earnestly desire to give you, if I possibly can, +some helpful, practical suggestions, for I feel that it is not in the +recognition of a duty, but in its performance, that the difficulty lies +which is arresting so many educated mothers at the present time. + +With very young children, whether girls or boys, there should be no +difficulty whatever. They are too young to understand. Only, when they +come to you asking their innocent little questions as to where the +little baby brother or sister comes from, I would earnestly ask you +never to allow yourself, or your nurse, to inflict on them the usual +popular fables, that the baby was brought by the doctor or that it was +found under the gooseberry-bush. A child is far quicker than we think to +detect that mother is hiding something, and the first tiny seed of evil +curiosity is sown. Make no mystery about it; look your child full in the +face, and say, "My child, you have asked me a question about what is +very, very sacred. If I were to try to explain it to you, you would not +be old enough to understand; for the present you must be content to know +that the baby comes from God; how it comes mother will tell you when you +grow old enough to understand; only promise me that you will never ask +any one but mother about it." The child will then see that you are +hiding nothing, and will be satisfied to wait for the explanation that +mother has promised. + +But what when the child is old enough to understand?--an age which +doubtless varies in different children, but which with boys must come +before their first school, if you are to occupy the ground of his heart +with good seed, which leaves no room for the devil's sowing. + +Well, with regard to the facts of birth, I do not think we ought to find +much difficulty. You can point out how the baby seed has a soft, downy +place provided for it in the pod of the parent plant till it has ripened +and is fit to be sown, when the pod opens and lets it fall to the earth, +and it becomes a plant in its turn. You can point out that the egg in a +similar way is carried in the mother bird's body till the shell has +hardened and is fit to be laid, when she warms it with her own breast, +patiently sitting on it for days, while the father bird feeds her, till +the little chick is strong enough to break the walls of its tiny house, +and come forth and peck and fend for itself. You can explain how the +little kitten the child plays with has in the same way a safe place +provided for it in the mother's body, where it grows and grows till all +its organs are formed, and it can breathe and suck, when, like the seed +from the pod, and the chick from the egg it leaves the mother's body, +and is born, a blind and helpless baby kitten, to be fed and tenderly +cared for by the mother cat. You will explain that the baby comes in +just the same way so far as its infant body is concerned, growing like +the kitten from a tiny cell--borne by the mother till all the organs are +formed which it needs for its earthly life, when it also is born and +laid in its mother's arms, to be nourished and cared for by the love of +both father and mother, not for a few weeks, as with animals, but +through long years of helplessness. And you mean to tell me that the +sacred truth would not endear you to your child far more than the usual +cock-and-bull story about the doctor and the gooseberry-bush? + +A friend of mine has three boys of widely opposite character and +temperament. Owing to circumstances, the eldest lad had to be sent to +school at an early age. Young as he was, she resolved to follow Dr. +Butler's advice and tell him the facts of birth in the way I have +suggested. On realizing the truth, the boy flung his arms round her neck +and burst into tears. But though she felt that she had done right, she +was not wholly without misgivings that she might have introduced some +objectionable talk into her nursery. When the time came to send the +second lad to school, she repeated the talk that she had had with his +elder brother. But to her surprise she found him in total ignorance of +the facts: his elder brother had never confided them to him. And so +again with the third boy. Evidently the boys had considered it too +sacred a thing to talk about--how much too sacred, then, to allow of +their joining in with the unclean gossip of schoolboys! Its only result +was to give them an added tenderness for their mother, and to make them +resent all such unclean talk as so much mud flung at her. + +So far, so good. But we all of us realize that it is not the facts of +birth, but the facts of the origination of life, that form the +perennial source of obscene talk, and often of obscene action, among +boys; and it is in explaining these, without violating those instincts +of reserve and modesty with which nature herself surrounds the whole +subject, that what often seems an insuperable difficulty arises. Yet +these functions are, and must be, the very shrine of a body which is a +temple of the Lord and Giver of life; and on the face of things, +therefore, there must be some method of conveying pure knowledge to the +opening mind with regard to them. The difficulty must be with ourselves, +and not in the very nature of things themselves. + +Has it not been created in a great measure by a wrong method? We begin +with human life instead of ending with it; we isolate it from a great +system to which it belongs, and treat what is "the roof and crown of +things" as a roof that tops no fair edifice, and is therefore anomalous; +as a crown that rests on a head which has been severed from its body, +and is therefore unmeaning. We obstinately refuse to live--to quote +Goethe's words again--not only "in the beautiful and the good," but also +"in the whole," which is equally necessary for a well-ordered life. What +it seems to me we need is to teach the facts of life-giving, or, in +other words, of sex, as a great, wide, open-air law, running right +through animated creation, an ever-ascending progression forming a +golden ladder leading up to man. + +In explaining the facts of reproduction, I would therefore suggest that +you should begin with the lowest rung of the ladder, the simplest +organisms, such as the amoeba or the volvox. I should show how these +multiply by fission, the creature dividing into two, when it is +impossible to tell which is the father and which is the mother. I would +then pass upwards to more complex organisms, where two individuals are +required to form the offspring. You could explain the whole process by +the method of fertilization in plants, as urged in an excellent paper by +a lady doctor, published in the _Parents' Review_.[16] Let me quote her +words: + + "The child can learn the difference of the names, color, and forms + of flowers as soon as it can learn anything. The next step would be + to simple lessons in the different parts of a plant--the vegetative + organs of roots, stem, leaves, passing on to the reproductive + organs in the flower--calyx, corolla, stamen, and pistil. Let the + child be taught to notice that all flowers have not quite the same + organs, some bearing stamens only, which shed the powdery pollen + and are the male, or little father flowers; while others have the + pistil only, furnished with the stigma to catch the pollen, and are + the females, or little mothers; that the one sort of flowers is + necessary to the other in producing the little seed or baby plant." + +Let us take a primrose. Here the mother and father elements are found in +the same flower. At the base of the flower, packed in a delicate casket, +which is called the ovary, lie a number of small white objects no larger +than butterfly-eggs. These are the eggs or ova of the primrose. Into +this casket, by a secret opening, filmy tubes thrown out by the pollen +grains--now enticed from their hiding-place on the stamens and clustered +on the stigma--enter and pour a fertilizing fluid, called "spermatozoa," +through a microscopic gateway, which opens in the wall of the egg and +leads to its inmost heart. The ovule, or future seed, is now fertilized +and capable of producing a future primrose. Covered with many protecting +coats, it becomes a perfect seed. The original casket swells, hardens, +is transformed into a rounded capsule or seed-vessel, opening by valves +or a deftly constructed hinge. One day this seed-vessel, crowded with +seeds, breaks open and completes the cycle of reproduction by dispersing +them over the ground, where they sow themselves, and grow and become +primrose plants in their turn, starring the grass with their lovely +blossoms.[17] + +Sometimes the male and female elements grow upon different plants, as in +the catkins children are so fond of gathering in the spring. + + "More than two thousand years ago Herodotus observed a remarkable + custom in Egypt. At a certain season of the year the Egyptians went + into the desert, cut off branches from the wild palms, and bringing + them back to their gardens, waved them over the flowers of the + date-palm. Why they performed this ceremony they did not know; but + they knew that if they neglected it the date-crop would be poor or + wholly lost. But the true reason is now explained. Palm-trees, + like human beings, are male and female. The garden plants, the date + bearers, were females, the desert plants were males; and the waving + of the branches over the females meant the transference of the + pollen dust from the one to the other."[18] + +From these two elements, the spermatozoa, or male element, and the ova, +or female element, all life, except in the lowest organisms, is +produced. + +You could point out how it is by this marvellous process of +reproduction, not only that the world is made green and beautiful, but +all animal life is fed. Corn and rice, which are only fertilized seeds, +form the staple food of a large proportion of mankind; while even the +animal in order to live has first to be nourished on corn or grass +before it can become meat for man. + +You could go on further to illustrate the facts of reproduction by bees +and ants, so familiar to children, where the drone or male bee, or the +male ant, in just the same way as in the plant, fertilizes the eggs of +the queen bee or ant by bringing the spermatozoa into contact with the +unfertilized egg in the insect's body, when the eggs thus fertilized are +laid and carefully nurtured by the working bee or ant. All children have +observed the little neuter,[19] or working ant, carrying in its +mandibles an egg almost as large as itself with an air of extreme hurry +and absorption, to lay it in the sun till the warmth hatches it into a +baby ant. + +If it were further pointed out that not the male, but the female, as the +mother of the species, is Nature's chief care; that among ants the male +is sent into the world so imperfectly endowed that he cannot even feed +himself, but is fed by his female relations, and that as soon as he has +performed his function of fertilizing the queen ant, Nature apparently +dismisses him with contemptuous starvation; or--to take the case of the +drone or male bee--he is stung to death by the workers, it might help to +modify the preposterous pretensions of the male, especially of the boy, +in higher circles. + +You could then pass upwards through fish with the soft and hard roe, or +male and female elements which are familiar to children, and through +frogs with their spawn to birds. Here comes in an upward step indeed. "A +world that only cared for eggs becomes," as Professor Drummond observes +in his _Ascent of Man,_ "a world that cares for its young." The first +faint trembling dawn, or at least shadowing forth, of a moral life, in +the care of the strong for the weak, makes itself seen, which henceforth +becomes as pervasive an element in Nature as the fierce struggle for +existence in which the weak are destroyed by the strong.[20] + +In the bird--till now "the free queen of the air," living at her own +wild will, suddenly fettered and brooding on her nest, and covering her +helpless young with her tender wings--we see some faint image of the +Divine tenderness. In the ceaseless toil of both the parent birds from +morning till night to fill the little gaping throats we begin to feel +the duty of the strong to serve and protect the weak; and in the little +hen partridge, still clinging to her nest, when the flash of the scythe +is drawing nearer and nearer, till reapers have told me they have feared +the next sweep of the scythe might cut off her head, we see more than a +shadow of that mother's love which is stronger than death. And when we +pass lastly to the highest order of animals, the mammalia, we find them +named after the mother's function of giving suck to her young from her +own breast. They are no longer matured in an external egg, but are borne +in her own body till they are able to breathe, and seek their +nourishment from her, and then they are born so helpless that, as with +kittens and puppies, they often cannot even see. + +In this higher order of animals nothing can exceed the devotion of the +mother to her young in their helpless infancy. The fierce bear will +recklessly expose her shaggy breast to the hunter in their defence. +Here, too, we find, as the Duke of Argyle points out in his book on _The +Unity of Nature_, + + "that the equality of the sexes, as regards all the enjoyments as + well as the work of life, is the universal rule; and among those of + them in which the social instincts have been especially implanted, + and whose systems of polity are like the most civilized polities of + men, the females of the race are treated with a strange mixture of + love, loyalty, and devotion." + +"Man" as the Duke says, "is the Great Exception," and has been defined +as the only animal that ill-treats and degrades his female. + +And when at length we come to the topmost step, "the roof and crown of +things,"--Man, as you have already explained the physical facts of +life-giving on the plane of plants, and ants, and bees, where they can +excite no feeling of any kind, you will have no need to go over them +again, but will find yourself free to express the physical in terms of +the moral. Man, as a spiritual being, incarnate in an animal body, takes +this great law of sex which we have seen running through the animated +creation, and lifts it into the moral and the spiritual. The physical +love which in animals only lasts for the brief time that is needed for +the production and rearing of offspring--becomes in him a love which +"inhabiteth eternity," and unites him to the mother of his children in +the indissoluble union of marriage. His fatherhood becomes the very +representative of the Father in heaven. The mother becomes the very type +and image of the Love that has loved us with more than a mother's love, +borne with us with more than a mother's patience, suffered for us, in +the Cross and Passion, more than a mother's pangs, to bring us into a +higher life. The love of brothers and sisters becomes the first faint +beginning of the universal Church and the brotherhood of man; and the +sweet babble of their voices grows choral at length in the songs of the +Church triumphant, the unbroken family in heaven; while the Christian +home shadows forth the eternal home which awaits us hereafter.[21] + +The only warning you would have to give your boy would be to point out +that, as a cathedral takes longer to build than a shanty, so the human +body, which is meant to be the temple of the "Lord and Giver of life," +takes much longer to mature than an animal's. Many an animal lives and +dies of old age in the fourteen years that leave man still an immature +boy. And you must earnestly impress upon him that the whole of this part +of his nature which you have been explaining to him as a great law +running through animated creation and finding its highest uses in Man, +must be left to mature itself in absolute rest and quiet. All premature +use of it is fatal to perfect health of soul and body. The less he +thinks of it, and the more he thinks of his work and his athletics, the +better for him. Above all, you hope, now that he knows the truth and his +curiosity is satisfied, he will loathe all filthy jests and stories +about that which is the source of all beautiful living things on the +pleasant earth and, in his own little world, of all happy family life +and innocent home love and joy. + +Let me quote here, in conclusion, a little poem, called "The Golden +Ladder," which seems to me to embody some of the teaching of this +exquisite page of the illuminated Word of Creation, which man has so +blotted and defiled with his obscenities, but which to "open hearts and +love-lit eyes" is the spring of all that is highest--the birth of the +moral and the cradle of the divine. + + "When torn with Passion's insecure delights, + By Love's dear torments, ceaseless changes worn, + As my swift sphere full twenty days and nights + Did make, ere one slow morn and eve were born; + + "I passed within the dim, sweet world of flowers, + Where only harmless lights, not hearts, are broken, + And weep out the sweet-watered summer showers-- + World of white joys, cool dews, and peace unspoken; + + "I started, even there among the flowers, + To find the tokens mute of what I fled-- + Passions, and forces, and resistless powers, + That have uptorn the world and stirred the dead. + + "In secret bowers of amethyst and rose, + Close wrapped in fragrant golden curtains laid, + Where silver lattices to morn unclose, + The fairy lover clasps his flower-maid. + + "Ye blessed children of the jocund day! + What mean these mysteries of love and birth? + Caught up like solemn words by babes at play, + Who know not what they babble in their mirth. + + "Or of one stuff has some Hand made us all, + Baptized us all in one great sequent plan, + Where deep to ever vaster deep may call, + And all their large expression find in Man? + + "Flowers climb to birds, and birds and beasts to Man, + And Man to God, by some strong instinct driven; + And so the golden ladder upward ran, + Its foot among the flowers, its top in heaven. + + "All lives Man lives; of matter first then tends + To plants, an animal next unconscious, dim, + A man, a spirit last, the cycle ends,-- + Thus all creation weds with God in him. + + "And if he fall, a world in him doth fall, + All things decline to lower uses; while + The golden chain that bound the each to all + Falls broken in the dust, a linkless pile. + + "And Love's fair sacraments and mystic rite + In Nature, which their consummation find, + In wedded hearts, and union infinite + With the Divine, of married mind with mind, + + Foul symbols of an idol temple grow, + And sun-white Love is blackened into lust, + And man's impure doth into flower-cups flow, + And the fair Kosmos mourneth in the dust. + + O Thou, out-topping all we know or think, + Far off yet nigh, out-reaching all we see, + Hold Thou my hand, that so the top-most link + Of the great chain may hold, from us to Thee; + + "And from my heaven-touched life may downward flow + Prophetic promise of a grace to be; + And flower, and bird, and beast, may upward grow, + And find their highest linked to God in me." + +Possibly you will say at once, "Oh, my boy has no taste for natural +history, and he would take no interest in this kind of thing." All the +better his finding it a bit dry--it will rid the subject of some of its +dangerous attraction. I have yet to find the boy for whom the Latin +Grammar has the least interest; but we do not excuse him on that ground +from grinding at it. Whether he takes an interest in it or not, you have +to teach him that he has got to know about these things before going to +school, to guard him from the danger of having all sorts of false, and +often foul, notions palmed off on him. I do not say that pure knowledge +will necessarily save, but I do say that the pitcher which is full of +clear spring-water has no room for foul. I do say that you have gained a +great step, if in answer to the offer of enlightenment which he is +certain to receive, you have enabled your boy to acquit himself of the +rough objurgation--forgive me for putting it in schoolboy language: "Oh, +hold your jaw! I know all about that, and I don't want any of your rot." +I do say that early associations are most terribly strong, and if you +will secure that those early associations with regard to life and birth +shall be bound up with all the sanctities of life--with home, with his +mother, with family, with all that is best and highest in life; then his +whole attitude in life will be different. But if these early +associations are linked with all that is false and foul, some subtle +odor of the sewer will still cling about the heart of the shrine, a +nameless sense of something impure in the whole subject; an undefinable +something in his way of looking at it, which has often made the purity +of men--blameless in their outer life--- sadden and perplex me almost as +much as the actions and words of confessedly impure men. + + +IV + +But, whatever is the importance I attach to pure teaching, I return to +my old position, that purity is an attitude of soul, or, perhaps I ought +to say, the "snowy bloom" of the soul's perfect health, rather than +anything you can embody in moral maxims or pure knowledge--that perfect +bloom of spiritual health which may be as much the result of a mother's +watchful care and training as the physical health of the body. It is for +you to train your boy in that knightly attitude of soul, that reverence +for womanhood, which is to men as "fountains of sweet water" in the +bitter sea of life; that chivalrous respect for the weak and the +unprotected which, next to faith in God, will be the best guard to all +the finer issues of his character. Truth of truth are the golden words +of Ruskin to young men: + + "Whomsoever else you deceive, whomsoever else you injure, + whomsoever else you leave unaided, you must not deceive, nor + injure, nor leave unaided according to your power any woman + whatever, of whatever rank. Believe me, every virtue of the highest + phase of manly character begins and ends in this, in truth and + modesty before the face of all maidens, in truth and reverence or + truth and pity to all womanhood." + +Can we doubt or question this, we who worship Him who came to reveal the +true man quite as much as to reveal the only true God--the real manhood +beneath the false, perishable man with which it is so often overlaid by +the influence of society and the world? Look at His attitude towards +women, ay, even Eastern women, who had not been ennobled by centuries of +Christian freedom and recognized equality of the sexes, but who, on the +contrary, belonged to a nation tainted to some degree with that Eastern +contempt for women which made a Hindu answer the question of the +Englishman, perplexed by the multiplied of Indian gods and sects, "Is +there _no_ point of belief in which you all unite?" "Oh, yes," the +Pundit replied, "we all believe in the sanctity of cows and the +depravity of women!" + +These Eastern women, therefore, had much to enslave and lower them; but +see how instantly they rose to the touch of the true Man, just as they +will rise, the women of to-day, to the touch of the true manhood of your +sons, if you will train them to be to us such men as Jesus Christ was. +See how He made women His friends, and deigned to accept their ministry +to His human needs. Many severe rebukes are recorded from His lips to +men, but not one to a woman. It was a woman, ay, even a degraded woman, +who by her kisses and her tears smote the Rock of Ages and the water of +life flowed forth for the world, who won for the world the words: "He +who hath been forgiven much loveth much," and the burden of guilt is +changed into the burden of Love. It was to a woman He first gave the +revelation of life, that He first revealed Himself as the Water of Life, +and first uttered the words, "I am the Resurrection and the Life." It +was women who remained faithful when all forsook Him and fled. It was a +woman who was the last to whom He spoke on the cross, to a woman that +the first words were spoken of His risen life. It was a woman He made +His first messenger of the risen life to the world. Nothing in the life +of the true Man on earth stands out in more marked features than, if I +may venture to use the words, His faith in women, as if to stamp it +forever as an attribute of all true manhood, that without which a man +cannot be a man. + +Now, side by side with this attitude of the true Man, this perfect +loyalty to all womanhood as such, ay, even degraded womanhood, place the +present debased attitude of men, even of some Christian men, which we +are looking to you mothers of boys to change _in toto_. Is not a +powerful writer in the _Westminster Review_ right when he says, "There +is not found a chivalrous respect for womanhood as such. That a woman +has fallen is not the trumpet call to every noble and wise-hearted man +to raise her up again as speedily as may be; rather it is the signal to +deepen her degradation and to doom her to moral death." Is it not a +received code even among Americans as well as Englishmen that if a woman +knows how to respect and protect herself men are to respect her--it is +only a scoundrel that will dare to say an insulting word to her? But if +she is a bit fast and giddy, if she has little or no respect for +herself, if her foolish feet have slipped ever so little, then she is +fair game. "She gave him encouragement; what else could she expect? It +was her own fault." To expect that any man with an ounce of true manhood +in him would at once say, "That young girl does not in the least realize +the danger she is in, and I must get between her and the edge of the +precipice, and see that she comes to no harm."--this would be to expect +the wildly impossible. Have we not made up our mind that the beast and +not the Christ is our master here; and does not every beast spring at +once on a fallen prey? It is human nature, and you will never get men +to think and act any differently. As to faith in man as such, not only +in the church-going man, but in the rough-spoken fisherman, the +contemned publican, the infidel Samaritan, faith in his power of +recognizing and rising to the truth, the higher standard placed before +him, _that_ I sometimes think lies buried in that Eastern garden--in the +Sepulchre "wherein never man yet lay."[22] And yet it is the man as +revealed in Jesus Christ, not the man as fashioned by the world, with +its low traditions and low public opinion, that is true to human nature. +In moments of excitement or danger he reverts to this true nature, which +has been so warped and overlaid by the world. In the great mass meetings +which I held for the purpose of pleading with men to come over on my +side and help me in the work of saving women from the awful doom to +which men sentence them, I used to bring this home by saying to them: +"If a fire were to break out in this vast hall, who would be the first +person that you would try to save? It would be me because I am a woman"; +and the roar of assent that burst forth from all parts of the building +showed that I had struck home. I used to bring before them--and the +sooner you bring it before your boys the better--the conduct of the men +on the ill-fated _Birkenhead_--ah! dear men, voiceless and nameless, +and lost in that "vast and wandering grave" into which they sank, what +have they not done to raise the tone of England? You will possibly +remember that the _Birkenhead_, with a troop of our soldiers on board, +struck and foundered not far from land. The women and children were at +once crowded into the boats, and it was only when, in a few minutes, the +ship began to settle that the cry was heard among the men, "To the +boats! to the boats! every man for himself!" But the officer in command +stood up and shouted, "What! and swamp the women and children? Die +rather!" And those men did die. Drawn up in military array, without +moving a muscle, those men sank into the bitter waters of death, that +the women and children might live.[23] That I contend is man's true +nature, to love the woman, and, if needs be, to give himself for her. + +It is, therefore, to recognize and strengthen this true nature of man, +to get it deeper into him, and not to get it out of him, as I cannot but +feel we have hitherto more or less done, to train your boys in this +perfect loyalty to all womanhood as such; and to send forth men into +the world to "die rather" than save themselves at the cost of a woman, +to "die rather" than drive a woman down into those deep waters of +degradation and death, that we look to the mothers of the future as the +sole hope of the world. I say again you have got to see that they learn +in relation to their own sisters what they have to practise towards all +women, however humble, ay, and however degraded, in their future life. +As the great English oaks are built up of tiny cells, so this true +manliness must be built up by a mother's watchful use of a thousand +small daily incidents--by what Wordsworth rightly calls the best part of +a good man's life-- + + "His little daily, unremembered acts + Of kindness and of love." + +In themselves they seem almost too trivial to mention:--the easy chair +instinctively given up on the sister's entrance; the door opened for any +woman passing out; the cap removed in the presence of ladies, even +though those ladies are his own relatives; the deck-chair taken out by +the seaside to make the mother comfortable; the favorite cricket-match +given up if an expedition has been fixed in which his services are +needed; the window raised and the door shut on leaving a +railway-carriage in which women are travelling, so as not to expose them +to draught; and, when men-servants are not kept, the sister's bicycle +cleaned or the skates polished--all those "little daily, unremembered +acts" of knightly service which the mere presence of a woman ought to +inspire in a man. + +I am well aware that here again, as Mr. Philip Hamerton points out, the +boarding-school presents a difficulty. As he says, "The worst of the +distant school system is that it deprives the home residence that +remains of all beneficial discipline; for the boys are guests during the +holidays, and the great business is to amuse them."[24] + +But surely this needs only to be mentioned to be remedied. You do not +make your boys happier during their holidays by making them selfish: +what is really a novelty to a schoolboy, fresh from the association with +boys only, is to have sisters to look after and a mother to depend upon +him for all sorts of little services. A joyous exclamation on your part, +"Oh, what a comfort it is to have a boy in the house to do things for +one!" will make him swell with manly pride; and should he show the least +tendency to put upon his sisters and make them fetch and carry for him, +as they are only too willing to do, you can easily put a stop to that by +a few caustic remarks that you don't want savages in your house; and a +pointed use of that delightful story in one of the White Cross +papers,[25] of the Zulu chief to whom the Government sent a propitiatory +present of wagons and wheelbarrows, thinking that it would be sure to +please him. But he gazed on them with fine scorn, exclaiming: "What's +the use of those things for carrying our burdens when we have plenty of +women!" Or you can use that equally good story, told by Sir John Lubbock +at a sectional meeting of the British Association for the Promotion of +Science, of a remote tribe of savages who had never seen a bullock, and +when the white man arrived with his bullock wagons, after much perplexed +discussion, they came to the conclusion that, as they were used for +heavy loads, they must be the white man's wives! + +A little wholesome, if incisive, raillery on your part will quickly +extinguish any tendency to make willing slaves of his sisters. If, +however, you prefer to indulge your foolish fondness for him, that +subtle self-indulgence which makes it easier for you to sacrifice +yourself and his sisters to him rather than discipline him to work out +his true nature, remember you gratify yourself at his most cruel cost. +You produce the boy whose youth is marked by a tacit contempt for girls +and whose manhood will be disfigured by a light estimation of the beauty +and sanctity of womanhood. + +I know well I shall be told that all this is quite out of date; that +modern girls are so independent that they stand in no need of brothers, +but like to place themselves on a level with them and share as good +comrades in all their rough-and-tumble games. Let us be of good cheer. +Sex is a very ancient institution, the slow evolution of hundreds of +centuries, and is in no danger of being obliterated by the fashion of a +day. Take the most advanced "new woman"; yes, concealed under that +virile shirt-front, unchoked by that manly necktie and turned-up collar, +lurking beneath that masculine billy-cock; nay, hidden somewhere deeper +down than the pockets of even those male knickerbockers, you will find +the involuntary pleasurable thrill at a strong man's chivalrous +attention, the delicious sense of a man's care and protection, which +centuries and centuries of physical weakness have woven into the very +tissues of her being, in however loud and strident a voice she may deny +it. Whatever changes in the position of women may take place, the basic +fact remains, and will always remain, the man is stronger than the +woman, and his strength is given him to serve the weaker; and you have +got to get your girls to be your fellow-helpers in developing all that +is best and most chivalrous in their brothers, and not so to run riot in +their independence as to substitute a boyish camaraderie for the +exquisite relations of the true man to the true woman. + +There rises up now before me a boy, one of those delightful English boys +overflowing with pluck and spirits. His mother had come to one of my +meetings, and, like so many other mothers, I am thankful to say, had +received a lifelong impression from what I said with regard to the +training of boys, and she resolved, there and then, to act upon my +advice with her own boys. She told me some two years after, that this +boy had come in late one afternoon and explained to her that a little +girl had asked him to direct her to rather an out-of-the-way house. "I +thought she might ask that question of some one who would tell her +wrong, or that she might come to some harm, so I thought I had better go +with her and see her safe to the house." "But what of the cricket-match +that you wanted so to see?" his mother asked. "Oh, I had to give that +up. There wasn't time for both." + +On another occasion, when a Christmas-tree was being prepared in the +schoolroom for some choristers, as he and his mother left at dusk a +chorister tried to force himself past her and gain a private view; and +when she refused him admittance, not recognizing who she was, called her +a very disrespectful name. Instantly the boy flew at him like a little +tiger, "How dare you speak to my mother like that!" "I didn't see it was +your mother," the chorister pleaded, trying to ward off the blows. "But +you saw it was a woman, and somebody's mother, and you dare to speak to +her like that!" And such a storm of fisticuffs fell on every part of +that hulking young chorister's person as forced him at last to cry for +mercy and promise that he would never do so again. That boy's master +wrote to his mother towards the end of his school-time--he was a +Bluecoat boy--and said that he positively dreaded his leaving, as his +influence on the side of everything good, and pure, and high was quite +that of a master. + +And now I come to the question of religious teaching, which you may be +surprised that I have not put first of all. First of all, in one sense, +I do put it. There can be no greater safeguard to purity of life than +vital religion. I do not go so far as some evangelical mothers who have +told me that nothing less than the conversion of their boys would be of +the least avail to keep them morally straight; on the contrary, I have +known men who have never come under any strong religious influence, but +have grown up sceptical scientific men, yet who have led lives as pure +as any woman's. Common manhood, with the "Light that lighteth every man +that cometh into the world"; common love for mother and sister, which +for their sakes maketh it impossible to wrong their womanhood, even when +fallen into the dust; common self-respect, which is so strong in some +men, and makes them shrink from anything in the nature of mud, is often +sufficient to accomplish this end. But still, when all is said, if in +answer to your mother's prayers you can implant in your boy a sense of +the Divine Presence and the cry of the quickened conscience, "How can I +do this great sin and wickedness against God?" you have doubtless given +him the best panoply against the fiery darts of temptation. Only I would +again warn you that there must be no forcing of the religious emotions, +no effort to gather the fruits of the spirit before the root, in the +shape of the great cardinal virtues everywhere presupposed in Christian +ethics, has been nourished, and strengthened, and watered into strong, +healthy growth. We have to bear in mind our Lord's words, which it seems +to me religious parents sometimes forget, that there is an order of +growth in spiritual things as in natural--first the blade, then the ear, +and then the full corn in the ear; and we are not to try to force the +full corn in the ear before the stalk and the blade have grown. For the +want of laying to heart these words of the great Teacher, I have known +much pulpy, emotional religion engrafted on young souls--admirably +adapted to exhaust the soil, but with the smallest possible bearing upon +right conduct; a religion perfectly at its ease with much scamping of +lessons and hard work in general; indulgent of occasional cribbing, and +of skilful manipulation of awkward truth, of betting and small +extravagances; and innocent of all sense of dishonesty in allowing a +struggling parent to pay large sums for education while the school-time +so purchased, often at the cost of home comforts and pleasant outings, +is squandered in idleness. + +What a boy really needs, and, indeed, all immature things--for I found +it equally true of immature men--is a simple, practical religion, based +more on the facts of life and conscience than on doctrines and dogmas. +To know God as his Father; to know that he has a Redeemer who laid down +His life to save him from sin and who takes account of his smallest and +most broken effort to do what is right; to realize that it is only so +far as he is like Christ and in Christ that he can be really a man and +work out what is highest in him; to know that he has been baptized into +a Divine Society, binding him to fight against all wrong, both within +and in the world without; above all, to know that there is a supreme +spiritual Power within him and about him to enable him to do right, and +that in the line of duty "I can't" is a lie in the lips that repeat, "I +believe in the Holy Ghost"; this is as much as his young soul can +assimilate, not as mere religious phrases, but as realities to live by. + + "So nigh to glory is our dust, + So nigh to God is man, + When duty whispers low 'Thou must,' + The soul replies, 'I can.'" + +But see that beneath all this he has the special Christian teaching with +regard to the sanctity of the body thoroughly instilled into him. If the +Incarnation means anything, it means not the salvation and +sanctification of a ghost, but the salvation and consecration of the +whole man, of his body as well as his soul. True, the animal body to a +spiritual being must always be a "body of humiliation," but nothing can +be more unfortunate and misleading than the epithet in the Authorized +Version of "vile" as a translation of the Greek word used by St. Paul. +On the contrary, we are taught that even this mortal body is a temple of +the Holy Ghost. + +In teaching this there can be no difficulty; you can make use of a +child's natural reverence for a church. You can say, "What would you +think if you heard of some loose lads breaking into a church, and just +for the fun of the thing strewing the aisles with cinder dust and all +sorts of loose rubbish; tearing out the pages of Bibles and hymn-books +to light their pipes, and getting drunk out of the chalice? You would be +honestly shocked at such profanity. Nay, even in the dire exigencies of +war we do not think better of the Germans for having stabled their +horses in one of the French churches and left their broken beer-bottles +on the high altar and the refuse of a stable strewn up and down the +nave. Yet a church is, after all, only a poor earthly building, built by +human hands. But there is one temple which God has built for Himself, +the temple of man's body; and of that the terrible words are written, +and ever fulfilled, "If any man defile that temple, him will God +destroy." God's great gift of speech is not to be defiled by dirty talk, +by profane language, by lies, or evil speaking. The organs which are +given us for its sustenance are not to be denied by gluttony and +piggishness, either in food or drink. The boy is not to use any part of +his body in defiling ways which he would be ashamed for his own mother +to know of. To do so is not only to defile, but--with the double meaning +of the Greek word, which we cannot render into English--to destroy; to +weaken his brain-power, which he wants for his work in life, to weaken +his nervous system, lessening his strength thereby and rendering him +less able to excel in athletics, and often, if carried to excess, in +after-life bringing results which are the very embodiment of the +terrible words, "Him will God destroy." The full force and bearing of +this teaching he may not apprehend. I have already said that with a +young boy the lower appeal never to do anything that is low and dirty +and blackguardly will have far more practical weight, and will also +avoid laying undue stress on the religious emotions. But I am quite sure +that the Christian teaching of the sanctity of the body must be laid +deep and strong with all the force of early impression in a boy's inmost +being, in order that it may lie ready for future use when Nature has +developed those instincts of manhood which will teach him its full +significance. + +If you are an Episcopalian, you will of course find the time of your +boy's confirmation simply invaluable as one of those turning-points +which will enable you to speak, or possibly write, more unreservedly +than is possible on more ordinary occasions. I would earnestly ask you +to give him a little White Cross confirmation paper called _Purity the +Guard of Manhood_, a paper which an Eton master pronounced the best +thing he had met with of the kind, and which has been widely used. Do +not rest content with merely giving the paper in a perfunctory way, but +follow it up with a few living, earnest words of your own. + +Of course I should do a wrong to your womanly instincts if I were to +think it necessary to say that the inculcation of purity must be always +in a mother's heart, but only on her lips on some marked occasions, such +as the first going to school, the last day of the holidays, or when your +boy himself gives the occasion by some question he may ask you, but +above all when he reaches a critical age, when a few words from your own +lips will be worth all the printed pages in the world. Only ever and +always make it an essential element of his idea of manliness to be pure, +and do not forget constantly to couple the words "brave and pure," or +"manly and pure," or "pure and high character," in his hearing; that he +may be endued, not with that pale, emasculate thing that passes muster +for purity nowadays, which always seems to me chiefly conscious of its +own indecency, full of the old nervous "touch not, taste not, handle +not" spirit, bandaged up with this restriction and that lest it fall to +pieces, and when it comes to saving another from defilement in body and +soul shuffling uneasily into a pair of lavender kid-gloves and muttering +something about its being "such a very delicate subject"--nay, not +this, but that militant sun-clad power which Milton dreamed of, rushing +down like a sword of God to smite everything low, and base and impure; a +purity as of mountain water or living fire, whose very nature it is, not +only to be pure itself, but to destroy impurity in others. + + +V + +And now let me throw together two or three practical suggestions, which +will probably be superfluous to the most experienced mothers, but may be +useful to younger and more inexperienced parents. + +In the first place, I think there are few of the heads of the medical +profession who would not agree with me that our English dietary is too +stimulating and too abundant. Sir Andrew Clark certainly held that a +large proportion of our diseases spring from over-eating and +over-drinking. I don't suppose that for a boy it so much matters, as he +is eating for "edification" as well as for sustenance, for the building +up of his walls as well as for the nutrition of his existing frame. But +"the boy is father to the man," and I would ask you not to accustom your +boys to a rich dietary, as the habit once formed will be prolonged into +early manhood, and undoubtedly such stimulating diet does greatly +increase the temptations with which young men have to contend. It is +perfectly unnecessary for the developing of strength and stature, as is +shown by the splendid Scotchmen who yearly carry off some of our highest +university distinctions and prizes--many of them farmer lads who have +scarcely tasted meat in their boyhood, but have been brought up on the +simple farinaceous food of the country. There was much force and meaning +in the quaint congratulatory telegram sent by a friend to a Cambridge +Senior Wrangler hailing from Scotland, "Three cheers for the parritge!" +And that curious and most impressive fact which Mr. Bayard, the late +American Ambassador, hunted up for our edification from various +dictionaries of biography--the fact, namely, that a large proportion of +our most eminent men spring from the homes of the poorer clergy, where +certainly sumptuous fare and much meat do not obtain, is a proof that +abstemious living, while forming a valuable discipline for the soul, +does not injure but promotes the health of the body and the strength of +the brain. Our having given up the religious uses of fasting I often +think is a loss to young men; and it might, therefore, be as well if we +were to imitate our "Corybantic" brethren, the Salvationists, and +institute a week of self-denial, leaving the children to work out an +economical dietary, with due care on our part that it should be fairly +nutritious, and allowing them to give what they have saved from the +ordinary household expenses to any cause in which they may be +interested. It would give them a wholesome lesson in self-denial and +cheap living; both lessons much needed in these luxurious days. But +whether this suggestion finds favor or not, we have always to bear in +mind that "plain living" is the necessary companion of "high +thinking"--the lowly earth-born twin who waits upon her heavenly sister. + +On the vexed question of the use of alcohol there was but one point on +which there was a consensus of opinion in the discussion by our leading +medical men, which appeared some years ago in the pages of the +_Contemporary Review_. The point upon which they were all agreed was +that alcohol is injurious to children, and if the boy has been +accustomed from his early youth to do without it, and, as he grows up, +remains a total abstainer, there is no question that his abstinence will +prove a great safeguard; though I cannot go as far as some of my +abstaining friends, who seem to regard the use of alcohol as the root of +what must, in the nature of things, be one of the strongest primal +passions of human nature, and therefore liable to abuse, whether men are +total abstainers or not. Anyhow, though a lad can be trained to strict +moderation, abstinence in both alcohol and tobacco must after a time +come of the lad's own free will; the last thing that answers is to +multiply and enforce restrictions; the rebound is inevitable and often +fatal. But I do say that where there is a great pinching in the home in +order to afford the educational advantages of school and university, it +does show some radical defect in the training of our boys that they +should indulge in such expensive habits, especially the expensive and +wholly unnecessary habit of smoking, when the dear mother and young +sisters are doing without many a little home comfort in order to meet +the expense of the young rascal's education. One rich old grandmother +whom I met abroad promised each of her grandsons fifty pounds if they +would give up smoking; and it was marvellous how that stern necessity of +doing as other young men do disappeared like their own tobacco smoke +before the promise of that fifty pounds for their own pockets! They were +all able to claim it one after the other. If boys were not trained by +their mothers to be systematically selfish, might not the home-claims in +the heart be as strong as those fifty pounds in the pocket? + +Secondly, with regard to betting and gambling, which may be classed with +drinking, as the fruitful parent of bad company, and a _descensus ad +infernum_:--do you not think a boy may be best guarded against a habit +of betting, which is so likely to lead on to gambling, by taking the +same line as a boy of my acquaintance took with his mother when she was +warning him against it: "Well, mother, you see, it always does seem so +mean to me to get a fellow's money from him without giving him anything +in return; it always does seem so like prigging, and some of our fellows +are awfully hard up, and can't afford to lose a penny." Mr. Gladstone +was evidently of the same opinion when he once said to his private +secretary, Sir Edward Hamilton, that he "regarded gambling as nothing +short of damnable. What can be the fun of winning other people's money?" +This strikes me as a way of putting it which would appeal most forcibly +to a boy; and if, in addition, we were to point out to him that, like +all shady things, it has a tendency to grow and sharpen the man into a +sharper and develop the blood-sucking apparatus of a leech, besides +bringing wretchedness and misery on others, he might be led to resist +the first beginnings of a betting habit which may lead on to gambling in +after years. + +And here I would say that the absolute absence of any training given to +a boy in the right use and value of money, which has obtained till +lately in our English schools, is surely suicidal and must lend itself +to every form of abuse. I do not know whether it is the same with you, +but many of our boys know money only in the form of pocket-money, when +it becomes to him a metal token mostly signifying so much "tuck"; +becoming, as he grows older, more and more deleterious "tuck" in the +shape of billiards, betting, etc., and ending in a general going "on +tick," which is worse still. But in this matter we are improving. I +think most sensible parents nowadays place a small sum at their bank to +the boy's account, with a check-book, making him responsible at first +for small articles of clothing, neckties, shirt-collars, etc, and as +soon as he shows himself trustworthy, for all his expenses except +school bills. The boy is expected to keep accounts, get nothing without +first asking the price, and to bring his receipted bills at the end of +the term to his father, and see that they tally with his foils; and, +above all, always to pay in ready money--unpaid bills being contemplated +in the bald light of shop-lifting. To this I would add, if possible, the +habit of giving the Jewish tenth, so as to make giving a steady +principle, and not a hap-hazard impulse. + +Thirdly, it is a vital point to give your boys interesting pursuits. +There is great force in the rough old saying, "Never give the devil an +empty chair to sit down upon, and you won't be much troubled with his +company." Vice is constantly only idleness which has turned +bad,--idleness being emphatically a thing that will not keep, but turns +rotten. It is not the great industrial centres of our population that +are chiefly ravaged by vice; it is the fashionable watering-places, the +fashionable quarters of large towns, where idle men congregate, in which +it is a "pestilence that walketh in darkness," and slays its thousands +of young girls. "Empty by filling," has always been a favorite motto of +mine. How many a young man has been driven to betting, drinking, and the +race-course from the want of something of interest to fill his +unoccupied hours, because more wholesome tastes have never been +developed in him! Of course, tastes must be to a certain degree inborn, +but I am quite sure that many a taste perishes, like a frost-bitten bud, +full of the promise of blossom and fruit, because it has never been +given the opportunity to develop. + +Take a boy's innate love of collecting. Could you not develop it by the +offer of a little prize for the best collection of dried flowers, of +butterflies or insects, of birds' eggs, even, in some cases, of +geological specimens, but, in any case, with the scientific and common +names attached; so forming a healthy taste for natural history, which +may be a source of perpetual interest and profit in after-life? Do not +let your dislike of destroying life interfere; reverence for life can be +as well, nay, better taught by insisting that only the necessary +specimens should be given of each species, only one or two eggs taken +from the nest, and the nest itself disturbed as little as possible. +Chemistry and electricity also appeal to a boy's love of experimentizing +and of making electrical contrivances, easily constructed of the +commonest materials. As to hand-work, the lack of which in ill-health +has made so many a man a torment both to himself and others, there ought +to be no difficulty with regard to that. Carpentering, wood-carving, +repoussé-work in metal, bent-iron work, mosaic work, any of these, +except possibly the last, may be set on foot with very little expense, +besides drawing, modelling, etc. Where there are sufficient means it +would be a good thing if boys were taught, as far as may be, how things +are made and the amount of toil that goes into the simplest article. I +remember giving a small printing-press to a boy of ours--an excellent +gift, by the by, for a lad, and it can be had for five or six +shillings--and his coming to me soon after with a match-box in his hand, +exclaiming with wonderment, "Why, auntie, there are six different kinds +of type on this match-box!" If they could learn how to build, how +rafters and joists are put in, and construct as much as a miniature +summer-house in the garden, how useful this being able to turn their +hands to anything might prove to them in their after-life. And with what +added respect they would look upon all labor if they had never looked +upon it as the part of a "gentleman" to stand aloof from it. + +Lastly, but not least, I would plead most earnestly for the frequent +home-letter, should your boy be sent to a boarding-school. If you would +have him resist the temptations of school life, keep the home as close +to his heart and as present to his mind as you can. Make it your first +and paramount duty to write every day if you can, if not every other +day, at least twice a week. + +Do not misunderstand me here. God knows I do not go in for the devoted +mother who thinks of nothing but her boys and to whom the whole world +besides is nothing but an empty flourish of the pen about their names. +Such mothers are like Chinese teacups, with no perspective and +everything out of proportion; where the Mandarin is as big as the +Pagoda, and suffers from a pathetic inability to get in at his own door. +You must see things in moral perspective in order to train character on +large and noble lines. And it is from the rough quarry of the outside +world, with its suffering and sin, that you must fetch the most precious +stones for the building up of true manhood or womanhood. The sooner +children are taught that their small concerns must be subordinated at +times to the needs of the sick, the poor, and the suffering, the better +for them. For a mother, therefore, to undertake _some_ outside work may +and will prove the best element in their education, enabling them in +their turn to live in relation with the world in which God has placed +them and do their part in the service of humanity. + +All that I mean is, do not so crowd your life with outside work or +social engagements as to have no time to spare for this daily or at +least bi-weekly letter to the boys at school. Bear in mind that the most +important work you can do for the world is the formation of noble +character, building it up stone by stone as you alone can do. Do not be +too busy to make yourself your boy's friend and throw yourself heartily +into all that interests him. I have known philanthropic mothers to whom +cricket was nothing but an unmeaning scurrying backwards and forwards, +and who scarcely knew the stern of a boat from its bows! + +And what a liberal education a mother's home-letters to her boys at +school might be made! The stirring incident in the newspapers, the fine +passage in the book, a verse or two of a noble poem, as well as all the +loving thought and prayer that is for ever flying like homing birds to +the dear absent lads, and the inculcation of all things lovely and pure +and manly, brightened by home jokes and the health of the last cherished +pet--all these things might go to make up the home letters. Above all, +what an opportunity it would give for pleading the cause of the little +chaps who, by some strange insanity working in the brain of the British +parent, are sent into the rough world of a large school when they are +fitter for the nursery, and whom you might appeal to your boys to look +after and protect, so far as they are able; and not only these, but to +side with every boy who is being bullied for acting up to his conscience +or because he has not the pluck to stand up for himself. + +In conclusion, I would earnestly ask you to believe in your own power +when united to the knowledge which is necessary to direct it. "A man is +what a woman makes him," says the old saw. Look back upon the men you +have known who have been touched to finest issues, and you will find, +with few exceptions, that they are the shaping of a noble woman's +hands--a noble mother, a noble wife, a noble sister. Doubt not, but +earnestly believe that with those wonderful shaping hands of yours you +can mould that boy of yours into the manhood of Sir Galahad, "whose +strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure"; that +you can send him forth into the world like King Arthur, of whom our own +poet, Spenser, says, that the poorest, the most unprotected girl could +feel that + + "All the while he by his side her bore + She was as safe as in a sanctuary." + +Nay, may I not go further still and say that by the grace of God you can +send him forth "made of a woman" in the image of the strong and tender +Manhood of Jesus Christ, to Whom even the poor lost girls out of the +street could come and know that here was a Man who would not drag them +down, but lift them up; believing in Whom, clinging to Whom, trusting in +Whom, they grew no longer lost and degraded, but splendid saints of the +Christian Church. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 11: _Morality in Public Schools_, by Dr. Butler, Master of +Trinity College, Cambridge, and late Head-Master of Harrow.] + +[Footnote 12: _The Preservation of Health_, by Clement Dukes, M.D., +M.R.C.S., Howard Medallist, Statistical Society of London, p. 150.] + +[Footnote 13: _Ibid._, p. 157.] + +[Footnote 14: _A Confidential Talk with the Boys of America_, by J.M. +Dick. Fleming H. Revell Co.] + +[Footnote 15: See Appendix.] + +[Footnote 16: See _Parents' Review_, No. 5, July, 1895, p. 351.] + +[Footnote 17: have quoted here from _The Ascent of Man_ by Professor +Drummond, pp. 292, 293; but any standard work on botany will give you +the method of the fertilization of plants in greater detail.] + +[Footnote 18: _Ibid._, p. 310.] + +[Footnote 19: Erroneously called neuter, as in reality it is an +imperfectly developed female, and is only capable of producing males.] + +[Footnote 20: I owe my first clear apprehension of the gradual evolution +of the preservative and altruistic elements in nature, arising from the +struggle for existence, to a sermon of Dr. Abbott's called _The +Manifestation of the Son of God_, now, I fear, out of print. Of course +Darwin recognized these factors as a necessary complement to the +survival of the fittest, else had there been no fittest to survive; but +the exigencies of proving his theory of the origin of species +necessitated his dwelling on the destructive and weeding-out elements of +Nature--"Nature red in tooth and claw," rather than the equally +pervasive Nature of the brooding wing and the flowing breast. Had not +Professor Drummond unfortunately mixed it up with a good deal of +extraneous sentiment, his main thesis would scarcely have been +impugned.] + +[Footnote 21: In case this method of teaching should seem to some +mothers too difficult, I intend to embody it in a simple "Mother's Talk +on Life and Birth," which a mother can read with her boys.] + +[Footnote 22: See a White Cross paper of mine called _My Little Sister_. +Wells Gardner, Darton and Co., London.] + +[Footnote 23: Twice since the wreck of the _Birkenhead_ has the same +true manhood been evinced on the high seas in the face of almost certain +death--once in the wreck of the troopship, the _Warren Hastings_, and +again by the crew and the civilian passengers of the _Stella_. Perfect +order was maintained, and though, ultimately all the men were saved, not +a man stirred hand or foot to save himself till the women and children +had first been safely got on shore.] + +[Footnote 24: _French and English_, by Philip Hamerton, p. 44.] + +[Footnote 25: _The British Zulu_. Wells Gardner, Darton and Co., +London.] + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +EARLY MANHOOD + + +If, in the words of the great educator I have already quoted, the chief +moral teaching and moral trend of the character must be given in the +schoolboy days, yet early manhood presents its own fruitful field for +the influence of a mother on the side of whatsoever things are pure and +lovely. The methods of exerting this influence must change as your son +grows from a boy into a man; the inevitable reticence, the exquisite +reserve of sex, must interfere with the old boyish confidences and with +your own freedom of speech. Other barriers, too, will most likely spring +up as your son goes forth into the world and mixes freely with other +young men of his own standing. Whether it be at college, or in the army, +or in business, he will inevitably be influenced by the views of the men +he associates with, which he will enlarge into the opinion of the world +in general, and will probably come home, if not to contradict his +mother, at least to patronize her and go his own way, smiling at her +with an air of manly superiority and with a lofty consciousness that he +knows a thing or two which lie beyond a woman's ken. Probably enough he +takes up with views on religion, or politics, or social questions which +are emphatically not yours, and which make you feel left very far +behind, instead of the old familiar "walking together" which was so +sweet. Worse still, he may evince for a time a cynical indifference to +all great questions, and all your teaching may seem to be lost in a +desert flat. The days of the latch-key and the independent life have +come, and you often seem to stand outside the walls which once admitted +you into their dearest recesses, left with but little clue as to what is +going on within. + +But have patience. Early teaching and influence, though it may pass for +a time into abeyance, is the one thing that leaves an indelible impress +which will in the end make itself felt, only waiting for those eternal +springs which well up sooner or later in every life to burst into upward +growth; it may be a pure attachment, it may be a great sorrow, it may be +a sickness almost unto death, it may be some awakening to spiritual +realities. I often think of that pathetic yet joyful resurrection cry, +"This is our God, we have waited for Him"--waited for Him, possibly +through such long years of disappointment and heart hunger--only to cry +at the last, "This is our God, we have waited for Him, and He has saved +us." + +But it is not all waiting. If with early manhood the "old order" has to +give place to new, and old methods and instruments have to be laid +aside as no longer fitted for their task, God puts into the hands of the +mother new instruments, new methods of appeal, which in some ways are +more powerful than the old. In early manhood she can appeal to the +thought of the future wife. I believe that this appeal is one of the +strongest that you can bring to bear upon young men. + +I once had to make it myself under circumstances of unparalleled +difficulty; and I was struck with the profound response that it evoked. +It was on the occasion of the inaugural White Cross address to the +students of the Edinburgh University, now one of the first medical +schools in the world. The date of the address had been fixed, the hall +taken, when an unforeseen difficulty arose. Eminent man after eminent +man was asked to give the address, but all with one consent began to +make excuse. Spirit and flesh quailed before so difficult and rowdy an +audience on so difficult and perilous a subject. At last the professor +who was chiefly interested implored me to give the address myself, or +the whole thing would go by default. Under these circumstances I had no +choice but to do so. But as I sat in the committee room while the order +of the meeting was being arranged, and heard my audience shouting, +singing, crowing like cocks, whistling like parrots, caterwauling like +cats, and keeping up a continuous uproar, I thought to myself, "I have +got to go into that, and control it somehow so as to be heard"; I +confess I did feel wrecked upon God. Professor Maclagan, who took the +chair, agreed that a prayer was impossible, a hymn was equally out of +the question. The only thing was to push me at once to the front; and +almost immediately after a few very brief words from the distinguished +chairman I found myself face to face with an audience that evidently +meant mischief. By some instinct I told them at once about James Hinton, +whom, of course, they knew by name as the first aurist of his day; how, +with all that this life could give him, he had died of a broken heart, a +heart broken over the lost and degraded womanhood of England, the hosts +of young girls slain in body and soul whom he met with at night in our +terrible streets. This seemed to strike and sober them, that a man +should actually die over a thing which to all of them was so familiar +and to many had been only the subject of a coarse jest. Fortunately, +there is a stage of nervous terror which rounds again on desperate +courage, and having once got hold of my audience, I determined to use +the occasion to the uttermost and venture on the most perilous ground. +In the course of my address I asked them to take notice of a great +silent change that was taking place all round them in the position of +women, the full significance of which they might not have grasped. +Everywhere women were leaving the seclusion of their homes and were +quietly coming forward and taking their place by their side in the great +work of the world. I thanked them for the generous welcome that they +had accorded them. But had they seized the full meaning, the ulterior +bearings of this changed attitude in women, and the wider knowledge of +the world that it brought with it? Not so long ago it was an understood +thing that women should know nothing of the darker side of life; and +there was nothing dishonorable in a man keeping the woman he loved in +ignorance of the darker side of his own past, if such there were. But in +the greater knowledge that has come to women, and the anguish some of +them feel over the misery and degradation of their lost sisters, can +this attitude any longer be maintained without conscious deception? +"What would you say," I asked, "if the woman you loved with the whole +strength of your soul passed herself off as an undamaged article upon +you, and let you worship her as the very embodiment of all that is white +and pure, when something unspeakably sad and sinful had happened in her +past life? You know you would be half mad at the wrong done to you if +after marriage you found it out. And what are you going to do, I ask +some of you who are so careless as to the life you lead, are _you_ going +to pass yourself off as an undamaged article on the woman who loves and +worships you, and who gives herself so unreservedly to you that she +loses her very name and takes yours? Is it fair, is it honorable, is it +even manly? No, I see by your faces you are saying, 'I don't think it +is, I should have to confess.' Well, that is better than basing your +life on a dishonorable lie. But, alas! it is no way out of the misery. +At the very moment when you would give all you possess to be worthy of +that great love she gives you, you have to prove that you are unworthy; +and the whole of the only last gleam of Eden that is left to this poor +life of yours, the pure love of a man to a pure woman, is blotted out +with bitter and jealous tears; the trail of the serpent is over it all. +I know well that women can love, and love passionately, impure men; but +every woman will tell you that there is _a_ love that a woman can only +give to a man who has been faithful to her before marriage as well as +after; and for ever and for ever there will be a shut door at the very +heart of your Eden of which you have flung away the key, a love that +might have been yours had you kept yourself worthy of it. There is but +one way out of the difficulty, now that in the changed position of women +you can no longer honorably keep them in the dark--to make up your mind +that you will come to the woman you love in the glory of your unfallen +manhood, as you expect her to come to you in the beauty of her spotless +maidenhood." + +I did not know for one moment whether they would not break out into +cooing like doves; but, on the contrary, they listened to me with +profound attention, and I could see that none of my words went so home +to them as those. When I had finished my address a member of the +committee said to one of the professors, "I think if she had asked them +to go off and storm Edinburgh Castle they would have marched off in a +body and done it." So great is the power of a woman pleading for women. + +If I could use this sacred plea with effect under circumstances of--I +think you will allow--such unspeakable difficulty, must it not be +possible to you, the mother from whom such an appeal would come so +naturally, to use this same influence, and in the quiet Sunday walk +through the fields and woods where Nature herself seems to breathe of +the sanctity of life in every leaf and flower, or in the quiet talk over +the winter fireside before he leaves home, to plead with your son to +keep himself faithful to his future wife, so that when he meets the +woman he can love and make his wife, he may have no shameful secrets to +confess, or, worse still, to conceal from her, no base tendencies to +hand down to his unborn children after him? Thank God! how many an +American and English wife and mother can speak here from personal +experience of the perfect love and perfect trust which have been bred of +a pure life before marriage, and a knowledge that the sacraments of love +and life had never been desecrated or defiled, so that no shadow of +distrust or suspicion can ever darken the path of her married happiness. +How powerful the pleading of such a mother may become with her son, to +give his future wife the same perfect trust and unclouded happiness in +her husband's love! + +I remember in a series of allegorical pictures by an old master in the +Baptistery at Florence, how, with the divine instinct of poets and +artists, in the beautiful symbolic figure of Hope, the painter has +placed a lily in her hands. Cannot we teach our sons that if they are to +realize their dearest hope in life, that divine hope must ever bear a +lily in her hand as the only wand that can open to them the paradise of +the ideal, the divine vision which is "the master light of all our +seeing," the deepest and most sacred joys of our life? + + He safely walks in darkest ways + Whose youth is lighted from above, + Where, through the senses' silvery haze, + Dawns the veiled moon of nuptial love. + + "Who is the happy husband? He + Who, scanning his unwedded life, + Thanks God, with all his conscience free, + 'Twas faithful to his future wife."[26] + +Again, could we not give our boys a little more teaching about the true +nature and sacredness of fatherhood? It always strikes me that the true +ethics of fatherhood are not yet born. Were the true nature, the +sacredness, and the immense responsibilities of fatherhood really and +duly recognized, men could not look with the appalling lightness with +which they do on providing some substitute for marriage, when they have +not the means to marry in early life, and are under the very prevalent +illusion that continent men who marry late run the risk of a childless +marriage--a notion which so great an authority as Acton pronounces to be +absolutely false physiologically, and without foundation in fact. To +bring a child into the world to whom he can perform no one of the duties +of a father, and to whom he deliberately gives a mother with a tarnished +name--a mother who, from the initial wrong done to her and the stigma +which deprives her of the society of women, will only too probably not +stay her feet at the first wrong step, but be drawn down that dread +winding stair which ends in the despair of a lost soul--this, I urge, +would be utterly abhorrent to every even fairly right-thinking man, +instead of the very common thing it is. Did we see it truly, it would be +a not venial sin, but an unpardonable crime. + +Now, surely mothers can supply some teaching here which must be wanting +for public opinion to be what it is. A quiet talk about the high nature, +the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood cannot present any great +difficulties. + +I remember many years ago hearing Canon Knox Little preach a sermon in +York Cathedral to a large mixed congregation, in which he touched on +this subject. At this distance of time I can only give the freest +rendering of his words, the more so as I have so often used them in my +own meetings that I may have unconsciously moulded them after my own +fashion. "Look," he said, "at that dying father--dying in the faith, +having fought the good fight, and all heaven now opening before his +dying gaze. Yet he withdraws his thoughts from that great hereafter to +centre them upon the little lad who stands at his bedside. His hands +wander over the golden head with + + "'The vast sad tenderness of dying men.' + +He triumphs over pain and weakness that he may plot and plan every +detail of the young life which he can no longer live to guide and +direct. And when at length he seems to have passed into the last +darkness, and they hold up the child to see if he will yet recognize +him, suddenly the spirit seems to sweep back again over the dark river +which it has almost crossed, and an ineffable light illumines the dying +face as his lips meet the lips of his little son in one last supreme +kiss--the father's love for one moment vanquishing death itself. And +what, I ask," said the preacher, in tones that thrilled that vast +audience, "must be the sin of desecrating and defiling such a function +as this, this function of fatherhood in which man seems to touch upon +God Himself and become the representative of the Father in heaven--what +must be the guilt of turning it into a subject of filthy jests and a +source of unclean actions?" + +The friend with whom I was staying had brought with her her Bible class +of Industrial School lads, and when the next day she asked what had +struck them most in the sermon, they answered promptly, "What he said +about fathers," Let us go and teach likewise. + +But perhaps the most precious sphere of influence is that which comes to +a mother last and latest of all--too late, unless the moral training of +all preceding years has been made one long disciplinary preparation in +self-mastery and pureness of living, for the higher and more difficult +self-control, the far sterner discipline, of true marriage pure and +undefiled. But if through her training and influence "the white flower +of a blameless life" has been worn + + "Through all the years of passion in the blood," + +then this is the time when her long patient sowing comes to its golden +fruitage. It is to his mother that a young man turns as his confidant in +his engagement; it is to her that he necessarily turns for counsel and +advice with regard to his young wife in the early years of his marriage. +A young man in love is a man who can receive divine truth even of the +hardest, for love is of God, and its very nature is self-giving. + + "Love took up the harp of life, and smote upon its chords with might-- + Smote the chord of self, that trembling passed in music out of sight." + +A pure affection is an almost awful revelation in itself to a young man +of the true nature of sensual sin. He would gladly die for the woman he +loves. And we look, therefore, to you mothers to bring into the world +that Christian ideal of marriage which at present is practically shut up +between the covers of our Bibles, that the man is to love the woman, the +husband the wife,[27] "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for +it"; not our ideal of the self-sacrificing woman--our patient Griseldas +and Enids and all the rest of it--but the self-sacrificing man, who is +but poorly represented in our literature at all,--the man who loves the +woman and gives himself for her, holding all the strongest forces and +passions of his nature for her good, to crown her with perfect wifehood +and perfect motherhood. + +This Christian ideal was doubtless intended to fulfil those restrictions +of the Levitical Law which were to safeguard the health of the wife and +secure the best conditions for the unborn child; laws and regulations to +the observance of which the Jew doubtless owes his splendid physique and +his still more splendid mental endowments, which, though he is the +fewest of all peoples, bring him everywhere to the forefront,--in +finance, in literature, in music, in general capacity,--and to which, I +should be inclined to add, he owes his comparatively slow rate of +increase, else it is difficult to understand the small numerical +strength of this extraordinary race; but I know that this is a disputed +point. No jot or tittle of these laws and regulations can pass away +until they are fulfilled in some larger truth; for ignore them or not, +they are founded on physiological laws; and it is on mothers' +recognizing this larger truth in the advice they give, and on their +bringing in the Christian ideal, that the future of marriage mainly +depends, and its being made more consonant with the higher and more +independent position of women than it at present is. + +Whilst the sight is so familiar of wives with health broken down and +life made a burden, possibly even premature death incurred, by their +being given no rest from the sacred duties of motherhood, to say nothing +of the health of the hapless child born under such circumstances, can we +wonder that the modern woman often shows a marked distaste to marriage +and looks upon it as something low and sensual? Or can we wonder that +married men, with so sensual an ideal of so holy a state, should, alas! +so largely minister to the existence of an outcast class of women? + +On the other hand, the remedy resorted to is often worse than the +disease. I confess I have stood aghast at the advice given by Christian +mothers, often backed up by a doctor whom they affirm to be a Christian +man, in order to save the health of the wife or limit the increase of +the family. The heads of the profession, in England, I believe, are +sound on this point, a conference having been held some years ago by our +leading medical men to denounce all such "fruits of philosophy" as +physically injurious and morally lowering. + +But if we want to know what their practical results are, the moral +gangrene they are to the national life when once they have firmly taken +hold of a nation, we have only to look across the channel at +France--France with her immense wealth, but rapidly declining +population, which in less than a century will reduce her from a +first-rate to a second-or third-rate power, so that her statesmen have +actually debated the expediency of offering a premium on illegitimacy in +the shape of free nurture to all illegitimate children,--illegitimate +citizens being better in their estimation than no citizens at all. + +Would we have the Anglo-Saxon race enter on this downward grade? If not, +then let us women silently band together to preserve the sanctity of the +family, of the home, and sternly to bar out the entrance of all that +defileth--all that sensualizes her men and enfeebles their self-mastery, +all that renders the heart of her women too craven to encounter the +burdens of being the mothers of a mighty race, flowing out into all the +lands to civilize and Christianize, and "bear the white man's burthen." + +One word more, a sad and painful one, but one which comes from my inmost +heart. Do not pass by the sadder aspects of this great moral question +and refuse "to open thy mouth for the dumb," for those "who are +appointed unto destruction." + +You cannot keep your son in ignorance of the facts; the state of our +miserable streets, every time he walks out in the evening in any of our +large towns, absolutely forbids that possibility. But you can place him +in the right attitude to meet those facts whether in the streets or +among his own companions. It is by fighting the evils without that we +can best fight the evils within. It is in dragging them down that we are +lifted up. A noble passion for the wronged, the weak, the sinful, and +the lost is the best means for casting out the ignoble passions which +would destroy another in order to have a good time one's self. At +present the stock phrase of a virtuous young man is, "I know how to take +care of myself." You have to put into his lips and heart a stronger and +a nobler utterance than that: "I know how to take care of the weakest +woman that comes in my path." Surely it is requiring no impossible moral +attitude in our sons, rather mere common manliness, to expect that when +spoken to by some poor wanderer, he should make answer in his heart if +not with his lips, "My girl, I have got a sister, and it would break my +heart to see her in your place, and I would rather die than have any +part in your degradation." One mother I know, who had been much engaged +in rescue work, and into whose heart the misery and degradation of our +outcast girls had entered like iron, taught her young son always to +take off his hat before passsing on, whenever he was accosted. He told a +friend of mine that he had scarcely ever known it to fail. Either the +poor girl would say, "Sir, I am very sorry I spoke to you"; or more +frequently still that little mark of human respect would prove too much, +and she would silently turn away and burst into tears. If our sons +cannot bare their heads before that bowed and ignoble object on whom the +sins of us all seem to have met--the wild passions of men, as well as +the self-righteousness of the Church--then our young men are not what I +take them to be,--nay, thank God! what I know them to be, sound of head +and sound of heart. They get hold of facts by the wrong end; they cut +into the middle of a chain, and look upon the woman as the aggressor, +and contemplate her as an unclean bird of prey. They do not in the least +realize the slight and morally trivial things that cast too many of our +working-class girls down into the pit of hell that skirts their daily +path--often as mere children who know not what they do, often from +hunger and desperation, often tricked and drugged, and always heavily +bribed. But let them know the facts, let them read a little paper such +as the _Black Anchor_, the _Ride of Death_, or _My Little Sister_,[28] +and they will feel the whole thing to be, in their own rough but +expressive words, "a beastly shame," and fight it both in themselves +and in others, for our sakes as well as their own. For the misery as +things are is this:--that men divide us into two classes--we pure women +for whom nothing is too good; and those others, whom they never +associate with us, for whom nothing is too bad. And what we have to +teach them is this--that our womanhood is ONE that a sin against them is +a sin against us, and so to link the thought of us to them that for the +sake of their own mothers, for the sake of their own sisters, above all, +for the sake of the future wife, they cannot wrong or degrade a woman or +keep up a degraded class of women. + +I am aware that, besides the suggestions I have made, young men require +a plain, emphatic warning as to the physical dangers of licentiousness +and of the possibility of contracting a taint which medical science is +now pronouncing to be ineradicable and which they will transmit in some +form or other to their children after them. We want a strong cord made +up of every strand we can lay hold of, and one of these strands is +doubtless self-preservation, though in impulsive youth I do not think it +the strongest. But to give these warnings is manifestly the father's +duty, and not the mother's; and I hope and believe that the number of +fathers who are beginning to recognize their duty in this matter, as +moral teachers of their boys, is steadily increasing. In the case of +widowed mothers, or where the father absolutely refuses to say anything, +perhaps the paper I have already mentioned, _Medical Testimony_,[29] +would be the best substitute for the father's living voice. + +And now let me conclude this chapter, as I concluded the last, with a +few scattered practical suggestions which may prove of use. My +experience has been that the vast majority of our young men go wrong not +from any vicious tendencies, but from want of thought, want of +knowledge, and a consequent yielding to the low moral tone of so-called +men of the world, and the fear of being chaffed as "an innocent." See +that your boy is guarded from this want of thought and want of +knowledge. When your son is a Sixth Form boy--it is impossible to give +the age more definitely, as it must depend upon the character of the +boy--place in his hands the White Cross paper, _True Manliness_ which +will give him the facts about his own manhood. This paper was carefully +revised by the late Bishop of Durham, Dr. Lightfoot, whose specialty was +young men; and upwards of a million copies have been sold, which in +itself guarantees it as a safe paper. Nor need you as a mother of sons +fear to read over any of the White Cross papers, since they concern +themselves, as their name denotes, with purity and a high ideal of +life--not with the sewer, but with the fountain of sweet waters. + +Should your boys be so inclined, you might suggest their joining that +band of modern knights, the White Cross Society.[30] It is a great thing +to give a young man a high ideal to act up to, and the White Cross would +certainly give him this, as well as save him, with its definite +obligations, from evil that is incurred from sheer thoughtlessness and +animal spirits, enforcing a respectful and chivalrous treatment of +women, even when by their fast ways those women show that they have no +respect for themselves. But more especially is this the case with regard +to the second obligation, to discountenance coarse jests and allusions +and the by no means nice sort of talk that often goes on in +smoking-rooms, and by which, I am convinced, more than by any other +agency the mind and conscience of young men is gradually deadened and +defiled, but in which they are apt to join from sheer thoughtlessness +and sense of fun. Their White Cross obligation might screw up their +moral courage to utter some such pointed rebuke as Dr. Jowett's to a +lot of young men in a smoking-room, "I don't want to make myself out +better than you are, but is there not more dirt than wit in that story?" +or that other still more public rebuke which he administered at his own +dinner-table when, the gentlemen having been left to their wine, a +well-known diplomat began telling some very unsavory stories, till the +still, small, high-pitched voice of the Master made itself heard, +saying, "Had we not better adjourn this conversation till we join the +ladies in the drawing-room?" At least they can keep silence and a grave +face; and silence and a grave face are often the best damper to coarse +wit. Why, I ask, should men when they get together be one whit coarser +than women? It is simply an evil fashion, and as an evil fashion can and +will be put down as "bad form." + +I think also that joining the White Cross will make young men more +active in trying to influence other young men and to guard and help +their younger brothers, with all the other priceless work that they can, +if they will, do for our womanhood among men, but which, from shyness +and reserve and the dread of being looked upon as moral prigs, they are +apt to let go by default. + +But whether you agree with me or not with regard to your sons' joining +an organization, see that they assume their rightful attitude of +guardians of the purity of the home. We women cannot know anything about +the inner secrets of men's lives, or know whom to exclude and whom to +admit to the society of our girls. This ought to be the part of the +brothers. God knows we do not want to make a pariah class of men on the +same lines as are meted out to women. The young man who wants to do +better we are bound to help, and no better work can be done in our large +cities than to open our homes to young men in business or in Government +offices, etc. But men who are deliberately leading a fast life and who +are deeply stained with the degradation of our own womanhood, with no +wish to rise out of their moral slough, these must be to us as moral +lepers, to be gilded by no wealth, to be cloaked by no insignia of noble +birth, or we stand betrayed as hypocrites and charlatans in our own +cause. If our position in society is such as obliges us to receive such +men, we all know the moral uses of ice, and under the guise of the most +frigid politeness we can make them feel their absolute exclusion from +the inner circle of our friends and intimates. There need be no +discussion between you and your son--just the hint: "Oh, mother, I would +not ask that fellow if I were you," and you will know what is meant. + +Much may also be done by keeping up the general high tone of the home. +One mother of eight sons, who all turned out men of high, pure life, if +ever they used in her presence such expressions as "a well-groomed +woman," or commended their last partner at a ball as "a pretty little +filly," would instantly interrupt them and ask incisively, "Are you +talking of a horse or a woman? If you are talking of a woman, you will +be pleased to remember that you are speaking in the presence of your +mother and your sisters." And if any scandal about a woman was mooted, +the conversation was at once quietly turned into another and more +profitable channel. + +A word of homely advice from you to your sons with regard to our streets +at night: never to loiter, but to trudge on quickly, when they would be +rarely molested, may be advisable and useful. + +As to absolute watchfulness with regard to the young maid-servants in +your house, this is so obvious a point that it scarcely needs +mentioning; though at the same time I have known the most culpably +careless arrangements made when the family are away for their summer +holidays, young maid-servants being left alone in the house while the +young men are still going backwards and forwards to their business; or +the whole family going out and no older woman being left in charge of +the young domestics. What can one expect but that, having sown moral +carelessness, we shall reap corruption? + +But even with no such culpable neglect of our responsibilities, I do +wish we would cultivate more human relations with our servants, and so +get them to work more consciously with us in maintaining a high +Christian tone in our homes. If we would but take a more individual +interest in them and their belongings, as we should do with those we +count our friends; getting a good situation for the younger sister who +is just coming on, possibly giving her a few weeks of good training in +our own household; giving the delicate child of the family change of air +and good food, even taking in a baby to enable a sick mother to go for a +short time into a hospital. All these things I have found possible in my +own household. And surely such thought and care for those they hold dear +would form a living bond between mistress and servant. If we would take +the same thought and care for pleasant breaks in the monotony of our +young servants' lives as we do for our own girls, would the servant +difficulty press upon us to the same degree? Nay, if we could set going +a weekly or fortnightly working party with our own servants in some +cause which would interest us both, reading out some interesting +narrative in connection with it, could we not even in this small way +establish a bond of common service and make us feel that we were all +working together for the same Master, so that our servants might become +our helpers, and not, as they sometimes are, our hinderers, in bringing +up our children in a high and pure moral atmosphere? + +But when all things are said and done, I know that with every mother +worthy the name there must be moments of deep discouragement and sense +of failure--a sense of mistakes made with some difficult nature to +which her own gives her but little clue; a sense of difficulties in +vain grappled with, of shortcomings in vain striven against. Which of us +have not had such moments of despondency in the face of a great task? In +such moments I have often called to mind one of those parables of Nature +which are everywhere around us, unseen and unheeded, like those +exquisite fresco angels of the old masters, in dim corners of ancient +churches, blowing silent trumpets of praise and adoration and touching +mute viols into mystic melodies which are lost to us. So thin has the +material veil grown under the touch of modern science that everywhere +the spiritual breaks through. Often in that nameless discouragement +before unfinished tasks, unfulfilled aims, and broken efforts, I have +thought of how the creative Word has fashioned the opal, made it of the +same stuff as desert sands, mere silica--not a crystallized stone like a +diamond, but rather a stone with a broken heart, traversed by hundreds +of small fissures which let in the air, the breath, as the Spirit is +called in the Greek of our New Testament; and through these two +transparent mediums of such different density it is enabled to refract +the light and reflect every lovely hue of heaven, while at its heart +burns a mysterious spot of fire. When we feel, therefore, as I have +often done, nothing but cracks and desert dust, we can say, "So God +maketh his precious opal." Our very sense of brokenness and failure +makes room for the Spirit to enter in, and through His strength made +perfect in human weakness we are made able to reflect every tender hue +of the eternal Loveliness and break up the white light of His truth into +those rays which are fittest for different natures; while that hidden +lamp of the sanctuary will burn in your heart of hearts for ever a guide +to your boy's feet in the devious ways of life. + +In conclusion, I should like to record an incident full of encouragement +to mothers. A young fellow of eighteen or nineteen, whom his widowed +mother had brought up on the principles which I have been advocating, +said to her one day, "Mother, you know that men don't always think like +you about poor girls." "Alas!" she replied, "I know that but too well; +but what makes you say so?" "Well, mother, I was with a lot of college +fellows yesterday, and they were giving one another the best addresses +in the West End to go to." "But didn't you say anything?" "No, I only +kept silence. Had I said anything, they would only have called me a +confounded prig. There were three other fellows who kept silence, and I +could see they did not approve, but we none of us spoke up." "Oh, my +son," exclaimed his mother in great distress, "how are we to help you +young fellows? Do you think if the clergy were more faithful, they could +help you more than they do?" "I don't think they would listen to what a +parson says." "Then if doctors were to warn you more plainly than they +do?" "I don't think it would be of much use; they would not heed; and +then a fellow generally goes to a doctor too late." "Then what can we +do, what can we do?" "Well, I think there is only one person who can +really help, and that's a fellow's mother--she can save him, if she +would only try." + +Doubt not, but earnestly believe. "In every man's breast is to be found +a lotus-blossom," says the pretty old Indian saying, and, watered by +your prayers and your tears, be sure it will blossom into "the white +flower of a blameless life." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 26: Coventry Patmore.] + +[Footnote 27: The word in Greek is the same for woman and wife.] + +[Footnote 28: White Cross Publications, E.P. Dutton & Co., 31 West +Twenty Third Street, New York.] + +[Footnote 29: Office of White Cross league, 7 Dean's Yard, Westminster +Abbey, London.] + +[Footnote 30: THE WHITE CROSS OBLIGATIONS. I. To treat all women with +respect, and endeavor to protect them from wrong and degradation. + +II. To endeavor to put down all indecent language and coarse jests. + +III. To maintain the law of purity as equally binding upon men and +women. + +IV. To endeavor to spread these principles among my companions, and to +try and help my younger brothers. + +V. To use every possible means to fulfil the command, + +"Keep thyself pure."] + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE INFLUENCE OF SISTERS + + +Hitherto I have dealt exclusively with the moral training of boys and +young men, but I am aware that I have left out one of the great shaping +influences of a boy's life, which certainly comes next to the mother's +where it exists--the influence of sisters. The childish hand that he +clasps in his is the hand that unconsciously moulds him to higher ends +or the reverse. For if the man is the director, the ruler, and defender, +"the builder of the house" as he is called in the grand old word +husband,[31] the woman is the shaping and moulding influence of life; +and if God has placed her in the power of the man, both through the +weakness of her frame and the strength of her affections, on the other +hand He has given into her hands the keys of his being, and according as +he fulfils or abuses his trust towards her, she opens or closes the door +of higher life to him.[32] + +I often wonder whether we women sufficiently realize this truth for +ourselves or our girls. Walter Bagehot used to say in his blind, +masculine way, "It's a horrid scrape to be a woman,"--a sentiment which, +I fear, will find some echo in the hearts of a good many women +themselves. But is it so? If to the man chiefly belongs power in all its +forms, does not the woman wield as her portion that far more potent but +wholly silent, and often unnoticed thing, influence? Not the storm, or +the earthquake, or the strong wind, but the still, small voice: the +benediction of dews and gentle rains, the mute beatitudes of still +waters flowing through sun-parched lands and transforming them into +"fruitful fields that the Lord hath blest"; the silent but irresistible +influence of the sunlight, which in the baby palm of a little leaf +becomes a golden key to unlock the secret treasures of the air and build +up great oaks out of its invisible elements; the still, small voice of +the moral sense, so still, so small, so powerless to enforce its +dictates, but before which all the forces of the man do bow and obey, +choosing death rather than disobedience--are not all these silent +influences emblems of the supreme, shaping, moulding influence that is +given to the woman as the "mother of all living," coming without +observation, but making far more strongly than any external power for +the kingdom of love and light? Truly we have a goodly heritage if only +we had eyes to see it. Alas! that we should have made so little +comparative use of it in these great moral questions. Alas! that we +should have to acknowledge the truth and justice of the poet's words: + + Ah, wasteful woman! she who may + On her sweet self set her own price, + Knowing he cannot choose but pay-- + How has she cheapen'd Paradise, + How given for nought her priceless gift, + How spoiled the bread and spilt the wine, + Which, spent with due respective thrift, + Had made brutes men, and men divine!"[33] + +But even here is there not place for a hopeful thought, that if women +have made so little comparative use of their well-nigh irresistible +influence in setting a high standard and shaping men to a diviner and +less animal type, it has been, as I have already said, chiefly owing to +ignorance? The whole of one of the darkest sides of life has been +sedulously kept from us. Educated mothers, till lately, have been +profoundly ignorant of the moral evils of schools, and have never dreamt +that that young, frank, fresh-faced lad of theirs had any temptations of +the kind. Their moral influence, which the poet blames them so strongly +for misusing, has been largely, at least with good women, not so much a +misused as an undirected force, and we know not, therefore, what that +force may accomplish when a larger and truer knowledge enables it to be +persistently directed to a conscious aim. This fact, at least, has been +stamped into my inmost being, that men will rise to any moral standard +which women choose to set them. + +I ask, therefore, cannot we get our girls to help us here more than we +do, without being crippled by the fear of initiating them too much in +the evil of the world or destroying that unconscious virginal purity +which is, even as things are, so strong and pathetic an influence for +good over young men? + +In the addresses that I have given to large numbers of educated girls, I +used often to begin by quoting a passage from the Jewish Prayer-Book. In +a general thanksgiving for the mercies of life, the men say: "We thank +Thee, O Lord of heaven and earth, that Thou hast not made us a woman." +One a little wonders how the poor women could join in this thanksgiving. +But in one corner of the page there is a little rubric in very small +print which directs, "Here shall the women say: 'We thank Thee, O Lord +of heaven and earth, that Thou hast made us according unto Thy will!'" +And, looking upon that bed of spring flowers before me, I used to tell +them that it made me feel what a fair and gracious and beautiful thing +it was to be made according unto God's will, to be made a woman. + +Now, in the first place, could we not get them to realize this great +truth a little more than they do, and not in their heart of hearts to +wish that they were men? Could we not get them to realize a little more +the divine possibilities of their womanhood, and instead of making it +their ambition to figure as a weaker form of man, and become lawyers, +stockbrokers, and other queer things the modern woman is striving after, +to make it their ambition to become stronger and truer women? + +But how is this to be done? I remember on one occasion, when I was going +in the evening to address a mass meeting of working-class girls, a +stout, middle-aged lady bustling up to me in a morning conference we +were holding, and exclaiming: "And what are you going to say to them? +What can you say to them, except to tell them to take care of themselves +and keep the men at arm's length?" + +Now, this old-fashioned method, which we have adopted in dealing with +the girls of the poor, I contend traverses the central and most +fundamental facts of a woman's being. A woman will never find salvation +in being told to take care of herself, and least of all for the purpose +of keeping the man, for whom she was created to be a helpmate, at arm's +length. Gospels of self-culture may take seeming root here and there in +the exotic woman; but even in her, at some moment of swift passion or +strong emotion, they will crumple up and fall off from her like a +withered leaf. James Hinton knew a woman's nature but too well when he +said that she would respond to the appeal "Lay down your life" more +readily and more surely than to the appeal "Take up your rights." She +certainly has a most divine power of flinging herself away, whether +nobly or ignobly, which forms both her strength and her weakness. But I +have never yet known a woman who would not, at any rate to some degree, +respond to an appeal to save, not herself, but another: "Do not let him +do this wrong thing, for his sake. You can do anything you like with a +man who loves you. God has given him body and soul into your hands, and +you can lift him up into something of His image and make a true man of +him; or you can let his love for you sink him into a selfish beast of +prey. Do not let him do anything that will for ever lower his manhood, +but use your power over him to keep him true to all that is best and +highest in him." I have never yet known the woman who will not be moved +by such an appeal as this. In other words, the central motive force of a +woman's nature, the key of her whole being, is, and must ever be, the +mother in her, that divine motherhood which is at the heart of every +woman worthy of the name, married or unmarried. It is this divine +motherhood, which all evolution, the whole "process of the suns," has +gone to strengthen, and which Christianity has enshrined at her very +heart--it is this that makes her for ever the Christ factor in the +world, the supreme expression of the redeeming Love--that care of the +strong for the weak which even in Nature comes trembling into existence +beneath the tender wing of the nesting bird, or forces itself into +notice in the fierce lioness's care for her whelps, and which we +believe will work out the ultimate consummation of the "whole creation +that groaneth and travaileth in pain until now." And I contend that if +we are to have in the future such women as Lady Augusta Stanley, round +whose lifeless form were united in one common sorrow the Queen on her +throne and the poorest of the poor, such women as Browning's wife and +Browning's mother, of whom he used to say, with a slight tremor in his +voice, "She was a divine woman," it will be by strengthening and +appealing to this element of divine motherhood in a woman's nature. + +What I would, therefore, teach the girls is this: that they have got to +mother the boys, that they are the guardians of all that is best and +highest in them, of all that makes for the chivalrous American +gentleman, and that their womanhood should therefore be to them a +fountain of fine manners, of high thoughts, and noble actions. I would +rub into their very bones, if I could, the old saw I have already +quoted: "A man is what a woman makes him"; that if there were more high +womanhood there would be less low manhood; and that if the boys are rude +and rough and slangy, and loutish in their manner to women, the blame +lies with their sisters who, in their foolish fondness and indulgence, +or in their boyish camaraderie, have allowed them to slouch up into a +slovenly manhood. The man at most is the fine prose of life, but the +woman ought to be its poetry and inspiration. It is her hand that sets +its key, whether + + "To feed the high tradition of the world," + +or add to its low discords. Surely Ruskin's noble words apply here: "It +is the type of an eternal truth that the soul's armor is never well set +to the heart unless a woman's hand has braced it; and it is only when +she has braced it loosely that the honor of manhood fails"; or those +other still stronger and nobler words of Frederick Robertson's: "There +are two rocks in a man's life on which he must either anchor or split: +God and Woman." + +And could we not appeal to our girls to make their womanhood a rock +which bears a light to all in peril on the rough sea of life--a light to +save from moral shipwreck and lead to the safe haven beneath the Rock of +Ages? Surely we might appeal to them, in the name of their own brothers +and others with whom they are intimately thrown, to work out these +higher possibilities of their own womanhood; not to lower it by picking +up slang words from their brothers--a woman ought to be above coarsening +and vulgarizing God's great gift of speech--not to engage in games or +romps that involve a rude rough-and-tumble with boys, which may develop +a healthy hoyden, but is utterly destructive of the gracious dignity of +the true woman; not to adopt fast ways of either dress or bearing which +lead to young men making remarks behind their backs which they ought +not to make on any woman; above all, never in girlish flightiness, or, +worse still, in order to boast of the number of offers they have +received, to flirt or trifle in any way with a man's affections; but to +remember that to every man they have to make a woman only the other name +for truth and constancy. God only knows the number of young men who have +received their first downward bent from what to a young girl, in the +wilfulness of her high spirits and her ignorance of life, has been only +a bit of fun, but which to the young man has been the first fatal break +in his faith in woman--that faith which in his soul dwells so hard by +his faith in the Divine that in making shipwreck of the one is only too +likely to make shipwreck of the other. + +As to the mothers who send out their young girls into society the +victims of their fashionable dressmakers, to be a fountain, not of high, +pure thoughts to young men, but a spring of low temptations and impure +suggestions, I do not blame the young girls here; but surely the +severest blame is due to the criminal folly, or worse, of their mothers, +who must know what the consequences of immodest dressing necessarily are +to the inflammable mind of youth. + +But that that unlovely phenomenon "the girl of the period," is also +deeply to blame for the lowered traditions of English society, and +consequently of English manhood, I have only too sorrowfully to +acknowledge. I remember Mrs. Herbert of Vauxhall telling a very +fashionable audience how on one occasion she had to rebuke a young man +moving in the first London society for using some contemptuous +expression with regard to women, and was led to appeal very earnestly to +him to reverence all women for his mother's sake. He turned upon her +with a sort of divine rage and said: "I long to reverence women, but the +girls I meet with in society won't let me. They like me to make free +with them; they like me to talk to them about doubtful subjects, and +they make me"--and he ground his teeth as he said it--"what I just hate +myself for being." Alas! alas! can sadder words knell in a woman's ears +than these? + +But side by side with this desecrating womanhood there rises up before +me the vision of a young girl, not English, nor American, but +French--now a mature woman, with girls and boys of her own, but who in +her young days was the very embodiment of all that I have been urging +that our girls might become to their brothers. She was a daughter of the +great French preacher, Frederick Monod, and had an only brother who was +all in all to her. She knew enough of the evil of the world to know that +a medical student in Paris was exposed to great temptations; and she was +resolved, so far as she could, to make her womanhood a crystal shield +between him and them. She entered into all his pursuits; she took an +interest in all his friends and companions; she had always leisure for +sympathy and counsel in his difficulties and troubles. She had a little +room of her own to which she used to get him to come every evening and +talk over the day with her, so that she might keep herself heart to +heart with him in all that concerned him. She even overcame her girlish +reserve, and would get him to kneel down by her side and pour out her +sweet girlish heart in prayer that God would guide him in all his ways, +and keep him unspotted from the world. Years after, when he was a +married man, with boys of his own, he said to her: "You little know all +that you were to me as a young man. My temptations were so maddening +that I used sometimes to think that I must yield to them and do as other +young men did all round me. But then a vision of you used to rise up +before me, and I used to say to myself: 'No; if I do this thing, I can +never go and sit with her in her own little room; I can never look into +her dear face again.'" And the thought of that young girl, the angel of +her presence in the midst of the furnace, kept that young man unspotted +from the world through all the gutters of Paris life. Could not our +sweet English and American girls be to their brothers what that young +French girl was to hers? + +But perhaps some pessimistic mother will exclaim, "What is the use of +making these old-fashioned appeals to our modern girls? They are so +taken up with the delights of their freedom, so absorbed in the pleasure +of cycling and athletic games, so full of manly ambitions, so persuaded +that the proper cultivated attitude is to be an agnostic, and to look at +God and the universe through a sceptical and somewhat supercilious +eyeglass, that if we did make an appeal to them such as you suggest they +would only laugh at such old-fashioned notions." I can only say that I +have not found it so. I can bear the highest testimony at least to our +English girls, of whom I have addressed thousands, all over the three +kingdoms. Occasionally it has happened that maturer women have left me +stranded, stretching out hands of vain appeal to them; but my girls, my +dear girls, never once failed me. Not only could I see by the expression +of their faces how deeply they responded to my appeal to work out the +latent possibilities of their womanhood, and be the uplifting influence +to their brothers, and other young men with whom they were thrown, that +a true woman can be; but they came forward in troops to take up the +position I assigned to them in our woman's movement towards a higher and +purer life. Nobly did those young girls respond, joining a movement for +opening club-rooms and classes for working girls, a movement initiated +not by me, but by educated girls like themselves, and which has since +spread all over England and Scotland. + +And if this is true of our English girls, still more would it be true +of the American girl, who has a unique position and influence of her +own, and is dowered with that peculiar capacity and graciousness which +seem to belong by divine right to the American woman. + +I cannot but think that if we were to teach our girls less in religious +phraseology and more from the great realities of life; if they were +taught that Christianity is only human life rightly seen and divinely +ordered, that the Cross is only the uncovering of what is going on all +round us, though hidden to a careless gaze,--the sin, the pain, the +misery, which are forever crucifying and forever calling forth that +great passion of redeeming Love to which, through the motherhood that is +in us, "one touch of nature makes us kin"; and that the central truth of +Christianity is not, as we have too often taught, saving our own souls, +but a life poured out for the good of others, and personal salvation as +a means for having a life to pour forth--I cannot but think that much +fashionable girlish agnosticism would disappear, and the true woman +would reach forth to that divine humanity to which she belongs. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 31: Husband is derived from two words--"house" and the Saxon +word to "build," German _bauen_.] + +[Footnote 32: See a little White Cross paper called _My Little Sister_, +which I wish mothers would get into the hands of their sons just +entering into manhood to read, mark, learn, digest. (Wells Gardner, +Darton and Co.)] + +[Footnote 33: Coventry Patmore.] + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE MODERN WOMAN AND HER FUTURE + + +Up to this point I have dealt only with the great shaping and moulding +principles of life, with indirect influence rather than direct. How far +direct teaching on matters of sex should be given to our girls has been +a far greater perplexity to me than in the case of boys. In the present +state of our schools and our streets our boys must get to know evil. +Hitherto it was possible to say that our girls _might_ get to know evil, +and between that "must" and "might" lay a great and perplexing chasm. We +do not want our garden lilies to smell of anything but pure dews and +rains and sun-warmed fragrance. But is this ideal possible any longer, +except in a few secluded country homes, where, hidden like Keats's +nightingale "among the leaves," they may remain innocent and ignorant of +the world's evil? + +But with the ordinary conditions of the present day, with the greater +freedom accorded to women, the wider range of education, involving a +wider range of reading, with modern newspapers left about, I ask, How is +it possible for a mother to keep her girls in ignorance and unconscious +innocence? A volume of short stories comes into the house from the +circulating library; they are clever and apparently absolutely harmless. +Yet embedded in the heart of one such volume, which shall be nameless, I +came upon a story almost as vile as anything in a French novel, and +conveying the most corrupt knowledge. How, I ask, can a busy mother read +through every book of short stories before letting it fall into the +hands of her girls; or how, if they are to read Latin and Greek, or even +carefully to study our own old literature, is she to guard them from a +knowledge of evil conveyed in classical allusions, or in the coarse +plainness of speech of an earlier age? I know as a fact, whether we +recognize it or not, that behind our mature backs our girls are +discussing these moral problems with quite an alarming amount of +freedom, and some at least, guided by no teaching, and with no practical +knowledge of the great laws of human life, are coming to quite startling +conclusions, which would make their mothers' hair stand on end. And one +most undesirable, and I may add unnatural, result noticeable among the +more advanced section is a certain distaste for marriage, a tendency to +look upon it as something low and animal, which strikes me as simply a +fatal attitude for women to take up. + +Have we not, therefore, got clearly to recognize that the old order has +changed, giving place to new, and requiring, therefore, new methods. We +may or we may not like the new order, but it is _there_. Under the +changed conditions of modern life it is inevitable; therefore it must be +in the providence of God; it cannot be wholly bad, and if we will work +in with it loyally, and not thrust it aside for some old order of our +own, it may be, nay, it will be, wholly for good. Let us remember that +the two most conservative organic forms, the two that have most resisted +progressive evolution, are the donkey and the goose. To ignore the new +order, to cling to the old views and methods, is to court moral +extinction as a living force. As well think to find safety in escaping +from the advance of an express engine by adopting the stately pace of +our grandmothers, which was perfectly adapted for getting out of the way +of a lumbering stage-coach. May not He + + "Whose large plan ripens slowly to a whole" + +be working out a progressive ideal such as we trace in the great +spiritual records of our race? The Bible, thank God! neither begins nor +ends with sin; but it begins with a sinless garden, it ends with a +strong city of God, with evil known and recognized, but cast out beyond +its walls. May He not be leading us to form a wiser, deeper, stronger +ideal; to aim for our girls not so much at Innocence, with her fading +wreath of flowers--fading, as, alas! they must ever fade in a world like +this--but to aim at Virtue, with her victor's crown of gold, tried in +the fire? May it not be that His divine providence is constraining us to +take as our ideal for our womanhood, not the old sheltered garden, but a +strong city of God, having foundations, whose very gates are made of +pearl, through which nothing that defileth is suffered to enter, and +whose common ways are paved with pure gold, gold of no earthly temper, +but pure and clear as crystal;--a city of refuge for all who are +oppressed with wrong, and from which all foul forms of evil are banned +by the one word "_Without_"? Sure I am that if we will accept this +deeper and larger ideal, and endeavor, however imperfectly, to work it +out on the earth, in the midst of it, as in the old garden ideal, will +be found the tree of life; but then its very leaves will be for the +healing of the nations. + +But whether you go with me as far as this or not, I think you will agree +with me that we must not leave our girls to their own crude notions on +the deepest matters of life. Still less must we leave them to get their +teaching on marriage and matters of sex from some modern novels, which I +can only characterize as tuberculosis of the moral sense, but from +which, as I have already pointed out, we cannot always guard them. We +must give them direct teaching of some kind. + +First, I think our girls, as well as our boys, need far more direct +teaching than has been customary as to the sanctity of the body. This is +especially true of girls who are sent to boarding-schools, as some of +the moral evils of boys' schools are not, I am sorry to say, altogether +unknown in girls' schools, though, as far as I can ascertain, the evil +is much less in extent, and in some is non-existent. Still, all girls +need to be taught that the body is the temple of the Lord and Giver of +life, and that from the crown of their heads to the sole of their feet +those bodies belong to Christ. + +Secondly, I think that they ought to have some such teaching about life +and birth as that which I have already recommended for boys, that they +may see how through the marital tie and the consequent rise of the +parental relation, a world of blind mechanical force gradually developed +into a world of life and beauty, and at last crowned itself with a +conscious love in an indissoluble union, which makes marriage the very +type of the union of the soul with God, of Christ with His Church. + +Thirdly, they need to be taught that much in their own physical +constitution, which they rebel against as handicapping them in the +struggle of life, is Nature's provision for them that no merely physical +function should press upon them as we see it do in the animal creation +at certain periods of the year, but that they should be free to serve +God, whether in the married or in the unmarried state, in quietness and +godly living. + +Fourthly, above all they need definite teaching on the true nature, the +sanctity, and the beauty of marriage. It appears that the line of +progress is always a spiral, and it would seem as if we were in the +backward sweep of the spiral which looks like retrogression, but will +doubtless bring us out further up in the end. The masculine view that +marriage is the one aim and end of a woman's existence, adopted also by +some careful mothers, is now exploded. Young men are no longer led to +look upon every girl that they meet as furtively, to use a vulgarism, +"setting her cap for him," and only too ready to fling herself at his +feet. So far so good. But have we not suffered our girls to drift into +the opposite extreme? In the heyday of their bright young life, with so +many new interests and amusements open to them, in the pride of their +freedom and independence, they are no longer so inclined to marry, and +are even apt to look down upon the married state. They form so high an +ideal of the man to whom they would surrender their independence--an +ideal which they fortunately do not apply to their fathers and brothers, +whom they find it quite possible to love on a far lower and more human +level--that because a man does not fulfil this ideal, and is not a fairy +prince dowered with every possible gift, they refuse men who, though not +angels, would have made them happy as wife and mother. Would not a +little sound, sensible teaching be of great good here? Could we not +point out that, though in so vital and complex a union as the family +there must be some seat of ultimate authority, some court of final +appeal somewhere, and that the woman herself would not wish it to rest +anywhere else than in the man, if she is to respect him; yet there is no +subservience on the part of the wife in the obedience she renders, but +rather in South's grand words, "It is that of a queen to her king, who +both owns a subjection and remains a majesty"? Cannot we contend against +this falsehood of the age which seems so to underlie our modern life, +and which inclines us to look upon all obedience as a slavish +thing--that obedience which "doth preserve the stars from wrong," and +through which "the most ancient heavens are fresh and strong"; that +obedience which when absolute and implicit to the Divine will is "a +service of perfect freedom"? It is the profession which exacts +unquestionable obedience that forms the finest school for character, as +I have already pointed out. We do not hear of a Wellington or a Roberts +refusing to enter the service because they could not give up their +independence. Our military heroes at least know that it is through +discipline and obedience that they gain their real independence--the +independence of a strong character. + +Again, our girls need to be taught not only that there is nothing +derogatory in the married relation to the freest and fullest +independence of character, but surely in these days of open advocacy by +some popular writers of "les unions libres" and a freedom of divorce +that comes to much the same thing, they need to be taught the sanctity +of marriage--those first principles which hitherto we have taken for +granted, but which now, like everything else, is thrown into the +crucible and brought into question. They need definite teaching as to +the true nature of marriage; that it is no mere contract to be broken or +kept according to the individual contractor's convenience--I never yet +heard of a contract for bringing into existence, not a successful +machine, but a moral and spiritual being with infinite possibilities of +weal or woe, of heaven or hell--but a sacramental union of love and +life, with sacramental grace given to those who will seek it to live +happily and endure nobly within its sacred bounds--a union so deep and +mystical that even on its physical side our great physiologists are +wholly at a loss to account for some of its effects;[34] a union of +which permanence is the very essence, as on its permanence rests the +permanence and stability of the whole fabric of our life. It can never +be treated on an individualistic basis, though that is always the +tendency with every man and woman who has ever loved. In Mrs. Humphry +Ward's words: + + "That is always the way; each man imagines the matter is still for + his deciding, and he can no more decide it than he can tamper with + the fact that fire burns or water drowns. All these centuries the + human animal has fought with the human soul. And step by step the + soul has registered her victories. She has won them only by feeling + for the law and finding it--uncovering, bringing into light the + firm rocks beneath her feet. And on these rocks she rears her + landmarks--marriage, the family, the State, the Church. Neglect + them and you sink into the quagmire from which the soul of the race + has been for generations struggling to save you."[35] + +Fall on this rock, stumble into unhappiness and discontent, as so many +do in marriage, and you will be broken. But be faithful to it and to the +high traditions which generations of suffering men and women have worked +out for you, and you will be broken as the bud is broken into the +blossom, as the acorn is broken into the oak--broken into a higher and +stronger life. On the other hand rebel against it, attempt to drag it +down or cast it from its place, and it will crush you, and grind some +part of your higher nature to powder. How strangely and sadly is this +shown in the case of one of our greatest writers, who thought that the +influence of her writings would far outweigh the influence of her +example, but whose name and example are now constantly used by bad men +to overcome the virtue of young educated girls struggling alone in +London, and often half starving on the miserable pittance which is all +they can earn. But still more is it shown in the life of the nation +which tampers with the laws of marriage and admits freedom of divorce. +Either such suits must be heard _in camera_ without the shame of +exposure, when divorce is so facilitated that the family and the State +rest rather on a superstructure of rickety boards than on a rock; or +they must be heard in public court and form a moral sewer laid on to the +whole nation, poisoning the deepest springs of its life, and through +that polluted life producing far more individual misery than it +endeavors to remedy in dissolving an unhappy marriage. God only knows +what I suffered when a _cause célčbre_ came on, and I felt that the +whole nation was being provided with something worse and more vitally +mischievous than the most corrupt French novel. + +Deeply do I regret--and in this I think most thoughtful minds will agree +with me--that the Reformers in their inevitable rebound from the +superstitions of Rome, rejected her teaching of the sacramental nature +of marriage, which has made so many Protestant nations tend to that +freedom of divorce which is carried to so great an extent in some parts +of America, and is spreading, alas! to many of our own colonies--a +laxity fatally undermining the sanctity and stability of the family. If +marriage be not a sacrament, an outward and visible sign of an inward +and spiritual life and grace, I ask what is? + +I would therefore earnestly beseech you to oppose your direct teaching +to the whole tendency of modern life, and to much of the direct teaching +of modern fiction--even of so great a novelist as George Meredith--which +inculcates the subordination of the marriage bond to what is called the +higher law of love, or rather, passion. In teaching your sons, and +especially your girls, who are far more likely to be led astray by this +specious doctrine, base marriage not on emotion, not on sentiment, but +on duty. To build upon emotion, with the unruly wills and affections of +sinful men, is to build, not upon the sand, but upon the wind. There is +but one immovable rock on which steadfast character, steadfast +relations, steadfast subordination of the lower and personal desires, +to the higher and immutable obligations and trusts and responsibilities +of life can be built--duty. When this rock has been faithfully clung +to, when in the midst of disillusionment and shattered ideals the noble +resolution has been clung to never to base personal happiness on a +broken trust or another's pain, I have over and over again known the, +most imperfect marriage prove in the end to be happy and contented. +Here again I quote some words of Mrs. Humphry Ward, which she puts into +the mouth of her hero: "No," he said with deep emphasis--"No; I have +come to think the most disappointing and hopeless marriage, nobly +borne, to be better worth having than what people call an 'ideal +passion'--if the ideal passion must be enjoyed at the expense of one of +those fundamental rules which poor human nature has worked out, with +such infinite difficulty and pain, for the protection and help of its +own weakness,"[36] I am aware that neither Mr. Grant Allen with his +"hill-top" novels, nor Mrs. Mona Caird need be taken too seriously, but +when the latter says, "There is something pathetically absurd in this +sacrifice to their children of generation after generation of grown +people,"[37] I would suggest that it would be still more pathetically +absurd to see the whole upward-striving past, the whole noble future of +the human race, sacrificed to their unruly wills and affections, their +passions and desires. If as Goldwin Smith says in his rough, incisive +way, "There is not much union of heart in marriage, I do not see that +there would be any more union of heart in adultery." + +I have dwelt thus earnestly upon this point because the sooner we +realize for ourselves and our girls that any relaxation of the marriage +bond will in its disastrous consequences fall upon us, and not upon men, +the better. It is the woman who first grows old and loses her personal +attractions, while a man often preserves his beauty into extreme old +age. It is the burdened mother of a family who cannot compete in +companionship with the highly cultured young unmarried lady, with the +leisure to post herself up in the last interesting book or the newest +political movement. It is the man who is the more variable in his +affections than the woman; more constant as she is by nature, as well +as firmly anchored down by the strength of her maternal love. It is +therefore on the woman that any loosening of the permanence of the +marriage tie will chiefly fall in untold suffering. "Le mariage c'est la +justice," say the French, who have had experience enough of "les unions +libres"--justice to the wife and mother, securing her the stability of +her right to her husband's affections, the stability to her right of +maintenance after she has given up her means of support, above all, the +stability of her right to the care of her own children. If we want to +study the innate misery to women arising from the relaxation of the +married tie, or transient unions, we had better read Professor Dowden's +_Life of Shelley_--misery not the result of public stigma, for there was +no such stigma in the circle in which Shelley moved, but misery brought +about by the facts themselves, and producing state of things which +Matthew Arnold could only characterize by the untranslatable French word +"_sale_." But nearer home, one of your most brilliant writers, Mr. Henry +James, has given us an equally profitable study in his novelette, _What +Maisie Knew_, which I presume is intended as a satire on freedom of +divorce, but which again can only be characterized by the French word +"_sale_." + +I confess it does fill me with sardonic laughter to find this oldest and +stalest of all experiments, this oldest and flattest of failures, +paraded as a brand new and original panacea for all the woes of our +family life,--woes which, if nobly borne, at least make "perfect through +suffering." + +There is but one great rock-hewn dam successfully reared against the +lawless passions of men and women, and that is Christian marriage. It +has at least given us the Christian home, and pure family life. And +sometimes it fills me with despair to see enlightened nations, like +America and Australia, whittling away and slowly undermining this great +bulwark against the devastating sea of human passion. If only I could +feel that any poor words of mine could in any faint measure rouse +American women to set themselves against what must in the end affect the +depth and steadfastness of those family affections on which the beauty +and solidity of the national character mainly rest, I should feel indeed +I had not lived in vain. + +At least I can claim that one of your greatest women, Frances Willard, +was heart and soul with me on this point. + +And now to descend to lower levels. Could we not do a little more to +save our young girls from sacrificing their happiness to false ideals by +opportunely obtruding a little mature common-sense into their day +visions and their inexperienced way of looking at things? It is all very +well in the heyday of life, when existence is full of delight and home +affection, to refuse a man who could make them happy, because they don't +quite like the shape of his nose, or because he is a little untidy in +his dress, or simply because they are waiting for some impossible +demigod to whom alone they could surrender their independence. But could +we not mildly point out that darker days must come, when life will not +be all enjoyment, and that a lonely old age, with only too possible +penury to be encountered, must be taken into consideration? + +God knows I am no advocate for loveless, and least of all for mercenary +marriages, but I think we want some _viâ media_ between the French +_mariage de convenance_ and our English and American method of leaving +so grave a question as marriage entirely to the whimsies and romantic +fancies of young girls. We need not go back to the old fallacy that +marriage is the aim and end of a woman's existence, and absolutely +necessary for her happiness. Some women are doubtless called to be +mothers of the race, and to do the social work which is so necessary to +our complex civilization. Some women may feel themselves called to some +literary or artistic pursuit, or some other profession, for which they +require the freedom of unmarried life. But I think I shall carry most +women with me in saying that for the ordinary woman marriage is the +happiest state, and that she rarely realizes the deepest and highest in +her nature except in wifehood and motherhood. Rarely, indeed, can any +public work that she can do for the world equal the value of that +priceless work of building up, stone by stone, the temple of a good +man's character which falls to the lot of his mother. Truly is she +called the wife, the weaver, since day and night, without hasting and +without resting, she is weaving the temple hangings, wrought about with +pomegranates and lilies, of the very shrine of his being. And if our +girls could be led to see this, at least it would overcome that +adverseness to marriage which many are now so curiously showing, and +which inevitably makes them more fastidious and fanciful in their +choice, And, on the other hand, without falling back into the old +match-making mamma, exposing her wares in the marriage market to be +knocked down to the highest bidder, might not parents recognize a little +more than they do how incumbent on them it is to make every effort to +give their daughters that free and healthy intercourse with young men +which would yield them a wider choice, and which forms the best method +for insuring a happy marriage? + +At least, let us open our eyes to the fact that we are face to face with +some terrible problems with regard to the future of our girls. With safe +investments yielding less and less interest, it must become more and +more difficult to make a provision for the unmarried daughters; and if +the money is spent instead on training them to earn their own bread, we +are still met by the problem of the early superannuation of women's +labor, which rests on physical causes, and cannot therefore be removed. +This at least is no time to despise marriage, or for women of strong and +independent character to adopt an attitude which deprives the nation of +many of its noblest mothers. + +But if we are to facilitate marriage, which must form, at any rate, the +main solution of the problems of the near future to which I have +alluded, if we are to prevent, or even lessen, the degradation of women, +if we are to extinguish this pit of destruction in our midst, into which +so many a fair and promising young life disappears, and which +perpetually threatens the moral and physical welfare of our own sons, if +we are to stay the seeds of moral decay in our own nation, we must be +content to revolutionize much in the order of our own life, and adopt a +lower and simpler standard of living. It is we, and not men, who set the +standard; it is we who have been guilty of the vulgar ambition of +following the last social fashion, and doing as our richer neighbors do, +until in England we have made our girls such expensive articles that +many young men simply dare not indulge in them, and are led to seek in +their luxurious clubs the comfort which they should find in a home of +their own, with all that relaxation of moral fibre which comes from club +life. Do we seriously think that we are likely successfully to contend +against the degradation of women by our Rescue Societies and our Refuges +when we are deliberately bringing about a social condition that +ministers to it? "Oh, of course," said a near relative of my own, "no +girl can marry comfortably and live in London with less than a thousand +a year." All I can answer is that if this be so, it means the +degradation of women writ large. + +And have we even secured the happiness of our own daughters by this high +standard of living which prevents so many of them from marrying at all? +These unmarried girls, with no worthy object in life to call out the +noble energies that lie dormant within them, "lasting" rather than +"living,"--are they really happy? Is not Robert Louis Stevenson right +when he says that "the ideal of the stalled ox is the one ideal that +will never satisfy either man or woman"? Were not the hardships of a +smaller income and a larger life--a life that would at least satisfy a +woman's worst foe, heart hunger,--more adapted to their true nature, +their true happiness? + +And to what further admirable results have we attained by this high +standard of comfort and luxury? Nature has carefully provided for the +equality of the sexes by sending rather more boys than girls into the +world, since fewer boys are reared; but we have managed to derange this +order. We have sent our boys out into the world, but we have kept our +girls at home, refusing to allow them to rough it with husbands and +brothers or to endure the least hardness. The consequence is that we +have nearly a million of surplus women in the old country, while in +America, and in our own colonies, we have a corresponding surplus of +men, with all the evil moral consequences that belong to a disproportion +between the sexes. Truly we may congratulate ourselves! + +I would therefore urge that if we are really to grapple with these moral +evils, we should simplify our standard of living, and educate our girls +very differently to what, at least in England, we are doing. Culture is +good, and the more we have of it the better; it gives a woman a wider +sphere of influence, as well as more enlightened methods of using that +influence. But if dead languages are to take the place of living +service; if high mathematics are to work out a low plane of cooking and +household management; if a first class in moral science is to involve +third class performance of the moral duties involved in family life, +then I deliberately say it were better that, like Tennyson's mother, we +should be + + "Not learned save in gracious household ways." + +I protest with the uttermost earnestness against the care of human life, +of human health, and of human comfort being considered a lower thing and +of less importance than good scholarship; or that, when we recognize +that months and even years will have to be devoted to the attainment of +the one, the arts by which we can fulfil those great human trusts which +devolve more or less upon every woman can be practised without ever +having been learnt at all. + +Do not misunderstand me. Do not think I am decrying a classical +education; and, as the daughter of a great mathematician, it is not +likely that I should underrate mathematics as a mental discipline. I am +only urging that they should be subordinated to higher and more +practical issues. + +I am thankfully aware that these remarks do not apply to American women +to the same degree in which they apply to our English girls. The paucity +of domestic servants, and the consequent pressure of necessity, have +saved you from the fine lady ideal which we have adopted for our girls +and the exclusively book education into which we have almost +unconsciously drifted. You have been constrained to choose some nobler +type on which to mould your scheme of female education than that of the +tadpole, which is all head, no hands, a much active and frivolous tail. +Your girls are brought up not to consider it beneath them to take part +in the work of the house; and something of the all round capability of +American women which so strikes us is doubtless owing to their not +having incurred "this Nemesis of disproportion," and therefore to their +combining intellectual culture with practical efficiency. + +Why we should have taken this fine lady ideal for our girls, when we +take such a much more practical standard for our boys, has always +puzzled me. If an excellent opening offered itself to one of our sons at +a bank, we should agree with his father in expecting him to take it, +though it would involve the drudgery of sitting in a cramped attitude on +a tall stool for hours and hours every day. Why should we accept life's +necessary drudgery for our boys and refuse it for our girls? No life +worth living can be had without drudgery,--the most brilliant as well as +the dullest. Darwin spent eight of the best years of his life in an +exhaustive investigation into the organization of a barnacle--labor +accompanied, as all intellectual work was with him, by a constant sense +of physical nausea from which he suffered, till, from sheer weariness +and disgust at the drudgery, he ends his researches in his emphatic way +with the exclamation, "D---- the barnacles!" At least a woman's +household drudgery does not end in a barnacle, or in dead coin, but in a +living and loved personality whose comfort and health it secures. +Blessed is drudgery, the homely mother of Patience, "that young and +rose-lipped cherubim," of quiet endurance, of persistency in well-doing, +of all the stablest elements of character. + +Do not let us refuse to our girls the divine hardness which is the very +heart of a diviner joy and of that "fuller life" of "which our veins are +scant," nor refuse for them and for ourselves the words of life: "As the +Father hath sent Me into the world, even so send I you"; but be content +to send them into the world to love, to suffer, to endure, to live and +die for the good of others. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 34: See some curious facts given in Darwin's _Origin of +Species_.] + +[Footnote 35: _David Grieve_, by Mrs. Humphry Ward, sixth edition, p. +401.] + +[Footnote 36: _David Grieve_, p. 524.] + +[Footnote 37: _Nineteenth Century_, May, 1892.] + + + + +CHAPTER X + +NATIONAL AND IMPERIAL ASPECTS + + +I cannot conclude these imperfect suggestions as to how we may best +carry up the moral training of our children, and especially of our boys, +to a higher level, without touching on the wider and national aspect of +the problems we have been considering. Especially is this necessary in +relation to that attribute which, in common parlance, arrogates to +itself the name that covers the vast sweep of all moral obligation and +calls itself emphatically "morality." "Language," Dr. Martineau has +finely said, "is the great confessional of the human heart"; and it may +be in some instinctive sense that this question of personal purity or +the reverse is the determining force for good or evil to the nation, as +well as to the family, that has given this restricted sense to the words +"morality" and "immorality." Yet we are possessed with an inveterate and +almost irreclaimable tendency to look at the question of purity of life +from a purely individualistic standpoint, and to regard it as a matter +concerning the individual rather than the social organism. In electing a +member for the Legislature how often have we not been told that we are +only concerned with his public career, and have nothing whatever to do +with his private life, though the private life is only another +expression for the man himself; and how can we be called upon to entrust +the destinies of our country to a libertine who habitually violates the +obligations of his own manhood and does his best to lower and degrade +the womanhood of the people he is called as a member of the Legislature +to protect and to raise? When shall we learn that whatever touches the +higher life and well-being of the family still more vitally affects the +wider family of the State, and threatens its disintegration? The family +in some lower form will survive in the most corrupt form of society; but +the State, as an organized polity, capable of embodying, preserving, and +promoting the higher life of the nation, perishes. + +I am the more led to dwell earnestly on these wider aspects, since that +great epoch-making commemoration which marked the sixtieth year of the +reign of our Queen, and which brought home to the consciousness of the +nation, as nothing else has ever done, its vast world-wide +responsibilities. That great national festival, with its proud imperial +note, in which we celebrated the rise and progress of that "larger +Venice with no narrow canals, but the sea itself for streets," will +forever form a landmark in English history. None who witnessed it will +ever forget that spectacle, of men of all races and color, of all creeds +and traditions, assembled together as brothers and fellow-subjects, to +do honor to a woman's gracious sway of sixty years. And is there not a +deep significance in the fact that these men of warring creeds and +opposed traditions came together to do homage to no commanding +personality, no Semiramis or Boadicea of old, no Catherine of Russia or +Elizabeth of England; but to a sovereign whose chief characteristic has +been that of being a true woman, with a true woman's instinctive +sagacity and wisdom of the heart: a woman with no glamour of youth and +beauty, but bowed with the weight of years and widowhood and cares of +State; a Queen who, on the morning of her crowning triumph, sent forth +no royal proclamation couched in set and pompous periods, but laid her +trembling hands on the bowed head of her people, and gave them a simple +mother's blessing: "Tell my beloved people that I pray from the bottom +of my heart that God may bless them"? + +May I not take it as the very embodiment of all that I have been urging +on the women of this day, the immense possibilities of good that lie +latent in our womanhood, the vast issues of good to the nation, and +through it to the world, if that womanhood is only true to itself? + +For let us clearly realize that this great moral question is no question +confined to the narrow limits of the home, but a question of the rise +and fall of nations. This is a truism of history. All history teaches us +that the welfare and very life of a nation is determined by moral +causes; and that it is the pure races that respect their women and guard +them jealously from defilement that are the tough, prolific, ascendant +races, the noblest in type and the most fruitful in propagating +themselves. You will never find a permanently progressive race where the +position of women is low, the men libertine, and the state of society +corrupt. What was it that made the most brilliant civilization the world +has ever seen--the civilization which still gives us the inexhaustible +wells of our intellectual life--what was it that made it the +shortest-lived? Few, I think, would deny that the rapid decadence of +Greece, despite her splendid intellectual life, was due to moral causes. +Not the pure, but the impure--the brilliant Hetairć--were the companions +of men, and the men themselves were stained with nameless vices. +Speaking of the decay of the Athenian people, Mr. Francis Galton says: +"We know, and may guess something more, of the reason why this +marvellously gifted race declined. Social morality grew exceedingly lax; +marriage became unfashionable and was avoided; many of the more +ambitious and accomplished women were avowed courtesans, and +consequently infertile; and the mothers of the incoming population were +of a heterogeneous class."[38] What was it that made the Egyptian +civilization one of the longest-lived of ancient civilizations? Was it +not, as we now find by her monuments, that the position of women was +high; the wife was enthroned by the side of her husband, and impurity +was condemned by the moral sense of the nation? What was it that enabled +our barbaric ancestors, the Teutons, to overthrow the whole power of +civilized Rome? On the authority of Tacitus, we know that they were +singularly pure. Their women were held in the highest reverence, and +believed to have something divine about them, some breath of prophetic +insight. Their young men were not allowed to marry till they were +five-and-twenty--in other words, till their frame was thoroughly +matured. Impurity before marriage was strongly discountenanced in both +sexes. Therefore the whole power of Rome, honeycombed as it was by moral +corruption and sexual vice, could not stand before these pure +barbarians. + +And if these mighty civilizations have perished from moral causes, do we +really think that the moral law--will + + "Of which the solid earth and sky + Are but the fitful shadows cast on high"-- + +suspend its operation out of compliment to the greatness of the British +empire or of the American Republic, if they, too, become morally +corrupt; or will not those old vanished nations, in the magnificent +words of the Hebrew prophet, greet the phantom of their departed +greatness in the land of shadows: "What, art thou, also, become weak as +we? Art thou also like unto us? Thy pomp is brought down to the grave; +the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee." + + "We talk of our greatness," says Mr. Froude; "do we really know in + what a nation's greatness consists? Whether it be great or little + depends entirely on what sort of men and women it is producing. A + sound nation is a nation that is made up of sound human beings, + healthy in body, strong of limb, true in word and deed, brave, + sober, temperate, and chaste, to whom morals are of more importance + than wealth or knowledge; where duty is first and the rights of man + are second; where, in short, men grow up, and live, and work, + having in them what our ancestors called 'the fear of God.' It is + to form a character of this kind that human beings are sent into + the world. Unless England's greatness in this sense has the + principle of growth in it, it were better for us that a millstone + were hanged about our neck, and that we were drowned in the midst + of the sea." + + "I feel more and more," said Mrs. Fawcett in words addressed to a + great meeting of men in the Manchester Free Trade Hall--words that + I wish could be written upon every heart--" that the great question + whether the relations of men and women shall be pure and virtuous + or impure and vile lies at the root of all national well-being and + progress. The main requisite towards a better state of things than + now exists cannot be brought about by any outside agency. There is + no royal road to virtue and purity. Law can do something to punish + wickedness, but improvement in the law is mainly valuable as an + indication that the public standard of morality is raised. Let us + get good laws if we can; but there is only one way of really + obtaining a nobler national existence, and that is by each of us + individually learning to hate and detest the vile self-indulgence + that covers the life of those who are the victims of it with shame + and degradation. Self-control and respect for the rights of others + are the only cure for the terrible national danger which threatens + us. If men and women would learn never to take pleasure in what + brings pain, shame, misery, and moral death to others, earth would + be turned into a heaven. It would be incredible if it were not true + that for mere selfish indulgence thousands of men are willing to + drag women down to what even these men themselves recognize as the + lowest dregs of humanity. Where is their chivalry? Where is their + common humanity? Some would say that such men do not possess + either. For my part, I do not believe this. Let women thankfully + acknowledge that, so far as other matters are concerned, they are + constantly indebted to the chivalrous self-sacrifice of men. + Chivalry is not dead; generous self-sacrifice is not dead; but in + far too many cases, with regard to the all-important question of + personal purity, they are sleeping. Our efforts must be directed to + awakening them. We must try and make men realize the callous + cruelty of all actions which lower the womanhood of even the + poorest and most degraded of women." + +And if we refuse, sunk in our own selfish interests and pleasures, and +content that the daughters of the people should perish as long as our +own are safe, then it will not be by an European coalition that the +British Empire will perish, it will be by moral decay from within; in +Blake's rough, strong words: + + "The harlot's curse from street to street + Shall be old England's winding sheet." + +The British Empire, the great American Republic, the two greatest +civilizing, order-spreading, Christianizing world-powers ever known, can +only be saved by a solemn league and covenant of their women to bring +back simplicity of life, plain living, high thinking, reverence for +marriage laws, chivalrous respect for all womanhood, and a high standard +of purity for men and women alike. + +Suffer me to lay before you three considerations, which will prove to +you at once that this great moral question is more vital to our two +nations than to any other, and that we are peculiarly vulnerable to the +action of moral causes. + +Firstly, England, and in one sense England alone, is the mighty mother +of nations. Three great nations have already sprung from her loins; a +fourth in Africa is already in process of consolidation. From the narrow +confines of our sea-girt island our people pour into all quarters of the +globe; and if we suffer England to know corruption we send forth +polluted waters into all lands. Your great Republic, on the other hand, +is a mother of nations in another sense, since she receives into her +mighty bosom vast numbers drawn from the suffering peoples of the old +world, and gives them a mother's welcome. According as your civilization +is high and pure, or low and corrupt, so will those naturalized citizens +be. Decay with great empires, as with fish, sets in at the head; and the +moral decadence of England and America will sensibly lower the moral +standard of nearly one-third of the population of the world.[39] The +heart of the two nations is still sound. It is not too late. We are at +least free from the continental system, by which the degradation of +women is reduced to a systematized slavery, to meet what is openly +called a necessity of nature. The comparative purity of Englishmen and +Americans is still a wonder, and often a derision to foreigners. Our +women are a greater power than in any other country. We still start from +a good vantage-ground. + +England, certainly through no merit of her own, has been called by the +providence of God to lead in great moral causes. We led in the matter of +slavery--the open sore of the world. We English and American women are +now called to lead, in this its hidden sore, for the healing of the +nations. + +Secondly, since you have elected to go beyond your own confines and have +dependencies, and so take up the white man's burden of civilizing and +Christianizing the world, your men as well as ours will be exposed to +that dangerously lowering influence, contact with lower races and alien +civilizations. An Englishman in India, if he be not a religious man, is +apt to blind himself to wrongs done to womanhood, because those wrongs +are often done to a pariah caste who are already set apart for infamy; +though I have not yet heard of an Englishman possessing himself of +slaves on the ground that they were slaves already to their native +masters. Worse still, in savage or semi-civilized countries the native +girl, far from feeling herself degraded, considers that she is raised by +any union, however illicit, with a white man. It is the native men who +are furious. Which of us in England did not feel an ache of shame in our +hearts over the plea of the Matabele to the white man: "You have taken +our lands, and our hunting-grounds are gone. You have taken our herds, +and we want for food. You have taken our young men, and made them slaves +in your mines. You have taken our women _and done what you like with +them_." How many of our native wars may not have had as their cause that +last sentence in the plaint of the Matabele, a cause carefully concealed +from the public eye? For God's sake, let mothers teach their sons that +first rudiment in manly character, the recognition that the girls of a +conquered race, or of a barbarian tribe inhabiting one of our spheres of +influence, from the very fact that they are a conquered race, or, if not +conquered, hopelessly and piteously in our power, are _ipso facto_ a +most sacred trust to us, which it is both unmanly and bestial to +violate. Especially I would plead with mothers to send us pure men for +our army--officers who will set their men a high example of chivalry +towards the weakest native woman, and who will so influence them by +example and personal influence that they may look upon voluntarily +disabling themselves from active service, while still taking the +government pay, as unmanly and unsoldierly. Give us men who can say with +a non-commissioned officer writing home to one of our White Cross +secretaries: "I have been out in India now eleven years and have never +had a day's illness; and I think the whole secret of my good health is +total abstinence from all that intoxicates, and that I honor all women +as I honor my mother or any of my sisters." + +Thirdly, the hardest thing on earth is not to slay a sin, but to get it +buried; and the hardest of all sins to get under ground is the sin of +impurity. It is largely due to the low standard of purity among men that +we owe the almost insoluble problem presented by the existence of the +large Eurasian population in India, and of the half-caste generally. + + "The universal unanimity of the popular verdict on the half-caste + is remarkable," says Olive Schreiner in some powerful articles + published in _Blackwood_ on the problems presented by our Colonial + Empire. "The half-caste, it is asserted in every country where he + is known, whether it be in America, Asia, or Africa, and whether + his ancestors be English and negroid Spanish and Indian, or Boer + and Hottentot,--the self-caste is by nature anti-social. It is + always asserted that he possesses the vices of both parent races + and the virtues of neither: that he is born especially with a + tendency to be a liar, cowardly, licentious, and without + self-respect." + +Olive Schreiner herself is the first to admit that there are exceptions. +She says: + + "The fact that amongst the most despised class of our laboring + half-castes we have all met individuals, not only of the highest + integrity, but of rare moral beauty and of heroic and fully + developed social feelings, does not impugn the theory of his + unfortunate position. If you should sow human seed inside the door + of hell, some of it would yet come up white lilies. But as a rule + the popular verdict on the half-caste is not overdrawn." + +I strongly agree with Mrs. Schreiner that this lamentable result is not +due solely, or even chiefly, to the admixture of races, but far more to +the circumstances in which he has been born and bred. He has originated +in almost all cases, not from the union of average individuals of the +two races uniting under average conditions, but as the result of a +sexual union between the most helpless and enslaved females of the dark +race and the most recklessly dominant males of the white. "He enters a +world in which there was no place prepared for him." His father was +about as sensible of his parental obligations towards him as a toad +towards its spawn in the next ditch. To him he "was a broken wineglass +from last night's feast." "Often without a family, always without a +nation or race, without education or moral training, and despised by the +society in which he was born," is it any wonder that the half-caste is +the curse of the community in which he is found;--one of those whips, as +Shakespeare reminds us, that "heaven makes out of our pleasant vices" to +"scourge" us into some sense of their seriousness? + +If you would not incur that curse, that insoluble problem of the +half-caste, then in both your civil and military services send out men +of clean hearts and lives into your dependencies, Alas! in your great +military camps during your Spanish war a moral laxity was allowed, +which, had it been attempted in the Egyptian campaign, Lord Kitchener +would have stamped out with a divine fury. I had it from an eyewitness, +but the details are wholly unfit for publication. + +I do not hold with our "little Englanders" that the possession of an +empire is a disaster; on the contrary, I hold that it constitutes a +splendid school for the formation of strong character,--of men who are +the very salt of the earth,--and that the sense of a great mission to be +fulfilled tends to give a nobility of soul to the whole nation; while +even the wars it may involve prove the vultures of God swooping down on +the hidden social rottennesses which in prolonged peace may breed +unnoticed and unreproved. We have never forgotten the bitter lessons of +the Crimean war which laid bare our miserable incompetence in +organizing, and the moral rottenness of our English firms that could +supply our soldiers with paper-soled boots and bayonets that bent at a +thrust, when the very life of our brave fellows depended on their being +well armed and well shod. + +America will never forget the sufferings of her wounded in the Spanish +war, sufferings caused by the like dishonesty in the goods supplied and +the like criminal incompetency which failed to provide them even with +necessaries. + +But I do say that an empire presents many difficult problems, and that +the men who accept its responsibilities need a sound head, clean hands, +and above all a pure heart. + +Let me in conclusion relate an incident which happened in the wreck of +the _Warren Hastings_, to which I have already alluded,--an incident +which I can never tell without a breaking voice and eyes full of tears. +In that awful night of storm and darkness and iminent shipwreck, the +officer in command, after ordering his men below to lighten the crowded +deck, stationed two of his men at a narrow gangway through which he +feared an ugly rush for life might be made, while the women and children +were being embarked, bidding them on no account to leave their post till +he gave them the word of command. At length the women and the sick had +all been saved in the boats. This done, and not till then, the men had +saved themselves, some by boats, some by life preservers; and last of +all the captain and officer in command were proceeding to leave the fast +foundering ship, when the latter heard a voice close to him, saying, +"Colonel, may we leave now?" It was the voice of one of his two +sentinels. In the stress and strain of the awful scenes of that night he +had for the moment forgotten that he had ordered them not to leave their +post until he gave the word of command. And he said that _the water was +almost up to their lips_! + +Oh ye mothers of America and of our great Empire! send us such men as +these,--men who will mount guard over women and children in all lands, +and see, as far as in them lies, that they do not make shipwreck of +what is dearer than life;--men who, even with the bitter waters of +temptation up to their own lips, will still hold their post and see that +no man, to save himself, drives them down into that dread sea of +perdition which never gives up its dead. + +Then East, West, North, South, the American flag will witness in the +face of all nations to the true manhood that steers its course by no +earth-born fires of passion and selfish lust, but by the eternal stars, +the heavenly lights of God, and mother, and duty, and home. + +East, West, North, South, by its side our flag, twice scored with the +White Cross, will float wide in the face of all nations the Englishman's +faith, reverence for womanhood, self-giving manhood, and the pure heart +that sees God. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 38: _Hereditary Genius_, by Francis Galton, p. 331.] + +[Footnote 39: Great Britain, since the conquest of the Soudan, rules +one-fourth of the population of the world.] + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE DYNAMIC ASPECT OF EVIL[40] + + +There remains yet one other way in which I earnestly desire to help you +if I can. I would fain afford you some light on this difficult problem +and give you a spring of hope within by enabling you to see what it is +working out in the world without. Some, I know, do not need this help. +Some wholesome souls seem to gaze on all evil with sun-dazzled +eyes--eyes that see Him in whom they walk, and not it, and in His light +they see light. They are the "naturally Christian" souls who lead +melodious days amid all the jars and discords of the world around them. +Others there are who seem to look upon these great social evils as +especially provided to afford a sphere for their beneficent activities; +and who if, by some sudden rise in public opinion, some passionate sense +of the wrong done to women, the degraded class should almost cease to +exist, would in their heart of hearts secretly regret so many empty beds +in their little Rescue Home and the possibility that it might have to be +shut up, when "the girls did turn out so well." Others, again, there are +who never trouble their heads or hearts about the misery and sin of the +world, or any social problem, however dark, as long as their own house +is comfortable, their own bed soft, and their own children healthy and +well cared for, never dreaming how those social evils may press upon +those children in their after-life. These are in no need of this kind of +help. But there are many thoughtful mothers, possibly an increasing +number with the increase of knowledge that is coming to all women, from +whose heart there is going up a bitter cry, "Why, oh why is all this +evil permitted?" Why is there this nameless moral difficulty at the very +heart of our life which our whole soul revolts from contemplating? Why +has Nature made these passions so strong that she seems wholly +regardless of all considerations of morality?[41] + +Some there are who feel that all infidel books are mere curl-paper in +comparison with the terrible facts of life, some who are in danger of +having all faith crushed out of them-- + + "Beneath the weary and the heavy weight + Of all this unintelligible world." + +It is these who need, like myself, as a first step to strong action, to +see something of what God is working out by the evil and suffering of +the world, to see it as a part of a vast redemptive whole, not as a +great exception in our life, but working under the same law by which, in +the words of the ancient collect, "things which are cast down are being +raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and all +things are returning to perfection through Him from whom they had their +origin." + +Now, do not think that I am going to indulge in a dissertation on the +origin of evil or why the world is so full of sin and misery. This is +insoluble. You cannot solve a problem which has only one term. Your +unknown quantity must have some known factor or factors related to it, +or you cannot resolve it into the known. In this great claim of cause +and effect, where all things are related and interdependent, you can +only know a related thing through its relations. Try to account for a +bit of chalk, for instance, and consider all you must know in order to +enable you to do so. To account for its weight you must know something +about the motion of the whole planetary system and the law of gravity +that controls that system; to account for the weather-stains upon it, +you must know something about chemical reaction; to account for its +being chalk and not flint, you must know something of the geological +ages of the earth, and how it comes to be built up of little sea-shells; +to account for its hardness, you must know something of the intricacies +of molecular physics. All this you must know to account for a mere bit +of chalk. How, then, can we expect to understand the problem of the +world when we know absolutely nothing of its relations with the great +moral and spiritual whole to which it belongs, and without the knowledge +of which it must for ever remain an insoluble problem, presenting one +term only, an enigma of which we do not possess the key? + +But though we cannot understand the origin of evil and why the world is +as it is, we can understand something of the processes which are at work +for good or ill. We can in a measure trace whether these processes are +making slowly but surely for righteousness, or whether all the sin and +the suffering are aimless and purposeless, a voice that cries "believe +no more," + + "An ever breaking shore + That tumbles in a godless deep." + +Now, I contend that the only ground of despair, the only thing that +might-shut us up to pessimism and to "a philosophy only just above +suicide mark," would be not the presence but the absence of these great +world evils. If this world presented a dead-level of comfortable +selfishness that on the whole answered fairly well all round, an economy +of petty self-interests in stable equilibrium, a world generally wrong, +but working out no evil in particular to set it right, a society in +which every man was for himself, and not the devil, as at present, but +God for us all--then indeed we might despair. But who can contemplate +humanity as it is, that broken stair of the Divinity, whose top is in +the unapproachable light of heaven and whose lowest step rests not on +earth but in hell, without feeling that it is destined for an infinite +progress, destined for the ascending feet of angels? Who that gazes on +this world, with its infinite depths of pain, its heavy weight of evil, +its abysmal falls, its stupendous pressures of wrong and misery, but +feels that here, if anywhere, we are in the presence of kinetic +energies, of immense moral and spiritual forces, capable of raising the +whole of fallen humanity to the heights of the Divine. For let us +remember that in the moral and spiritual world, as well as in the +physical, no fall but carries with it the force that can be converted +into a rise; no dread resistance of wrong to the right but creates an +accumulated force which once let loose can transform an empire; no +weight of evil but, in pulling it down, can be made to raise the whole +bent of our life. + + "Man partly is, and wholly hopes to be." + +He is "no finite and finished clod." Progress, as Browning says, is his +distinctive mark, and these deep evils are the gigantic steps by which +he rises as he treads them under foot. Once recognize the fact that he +is a fallen being--and by that I mean no theological dogma, but a truth +of life, which, whatever our creed may be, must stare us in the +face--the fact that he is a being knowing good but choosing evil, +capable of an ideal but habitually falling below it, no mere automaton, +but possessed of a spiritual will and an accusing conscience--I ask how +else can he be educated, in the true sense of the word, and raised from +death unto life except by being made to educe his own results and work +out his evil premiss to the bitter end, till he is forced to go back +upon himself, and recognize the right principle which he has violated? +The very law of his being, of every being who is being raised from death +unto life, is, that he can only know life through death, only grasp good +by grappling with evil, only gain knowledge by knowing ignorance; his +highest must be sown in weakness before it can be raised in power, must +be sown in dishonor before it can be raised in glory. + +Look back over the past and see if it is not in conflict with these +great world evils, themselves the results of man's moral blindness and +sin, that we have worked out the true principles of our life, the higher +possibilities of our humanity. + +Take the most elementary case first, man's disobedience to the physical +laws under which he must live to have a sound mind in a sound body. Man +in his primitive stages is emphatically not a clean animal. On the +contrary, he is a very dirty one. He has none of the cat's dainty +neatness and cleanliness, none of her instinctive recognition of the +deodorizing and purifying power of the earth, that makes the foulest +thing once buried spring up in fresh grass and fragrant flowers. He has +nothing of the imperative impulse of the little ant which he treads +under his lordly feet to shampoo his brother, let alone himself. It has +needed the discipline and the suffering of the ages to evolve that great +banner of progress, the clean shirt. From what great world pestilences +has he not had to suffer as the consequences of his own uncleanliness! +Cholera has been rightly called the beneficent sanitary inspector of the +world. With what foul diseases, the very details of which would sicken, +has he not had to be scourged withal to get him to recognize and obey +the one Divine injunction, "Wash and be clean"! Truly his knowledge and +recognition of sanitary law, his "physical righteousness," has had to be +sown in the weakness and corruption of disease before it could be raised +to the power of a recognized law of life, insuring that cleanliness +which is next to godliness. + +Again, take the great principle of national freedom,--that a nation has +a right to govern its own destinies. With what world tyrannies and +oppressions, the outcome of man's selfish lust of power and wealth, have +not the peoples had to fight and struggle in order at length to win and +get recognized that principle of freedom without which a nation can be +neither strong nor holy, neither a citadel nor a temple! The Iron Duke +used to say, "There is but one thing worse than a battle gained, and +that is a battle lost." Yet what battles lost and what battles gained, +with all their sickening sights and sounds-- + + "Oaths, insults, filth, and monstrous blasphemies, + Sweat, writhings, anguish, laboring of lungs, + In that close mist, and cryings for the light, + Moans of the dying and voices of the dead"; + +what bloody conflicts through the long ages have not had to be fought +out to gain this freedom! Truly we might apostrophize Freedom in the +words of the Hebrew prophet: "Who is this that cometh with her garments +dyed in blood?" Through what long centuries did not what Sir John Seeley +called the "mechanical theory of government" survive, the theory which +recognized no vital bond of blood and historical tradition between a +people and its government, but looked upon nations as royal appanages, +to be banded about with royal alliances and passed under an alien sway +without consent on its own part! Did it not require a Napoleon to work +out this false premiss to its bitter end, drenching Europe in blood to +gratify his own greed of power, and reducing nation after nation to his +alien and despotic rule, till it was felt to be intolerable, and with a +convulsive struggle Europe threw off the yoke? Truly a struggle which +was the birth-throes of national sentiment and the recognition that the +tie between the governed and the governing must be an organic one, a tie +of blood from within, not a force from without--in one word, the +recognition of the great principle of national freedom which, when the +nation is sufficiently developed and self-disciplined to be fit for it, +is the great mother of progress. Sown in the corruption of those mangled +and decaying corpses on many an awful battle-field, freedom is raised to +the glory of an incorruptible truth of national life. + +Once again, was it not in his age-long conflict with the great world +evil of slavery that man worked out the true nature of a moral +personality? Man started at the outset with the evil premiss of the +right of the strong to possess himself of the weak and the conquered, +and enslave him for his own use, shunting the toil and burden of life +upon his bowed shoulders. Through long ages he had to work out this +wrong premiss in disaster to empires through the laziness and +worthlessness of their ruling classes engendered by slave labor, in the +dumb suffering and bitter wrongs of millions of enslaved men and women. +Through centuries the Church protested against these wrongs in vain, +since the evil root, in the face of all protests, will go on bearing +the evil fruit. England, herself the mother of free peoples, was stained +with the guilt of being one of the first to originate the worst form of +slavery that the world has ever seen, the African slave-trade, her great +Queen Elizabeth not scorning to enrich her royal coffers out of the +profits of slave-raiding expeditions conducted by her sea-captains. It +needed the horrors of this latest development of the principle of +slavery, the horrors of the middle passage, of whole regions of Africa +decimated to supply the slave market, of mothers torn from their +children, or, worse still, compelled to bear them to their slave +masters, only to see them in their turn sold to some far-off station; of +the degradation of men and women brought up in heathen ignorance lest +they should use their knowledge to rebel--it needed all this weight of +evil and disaster at last to rouse the conscience of Europe to recognize +that slavery was wrong in itself and to cast out the evil premiss on +which it rested. By the mere force of moral revulsion in England, by the +throes of a great civil war engendered by slavery in America, at last +the true nature of a moral personality got itself recognized,--the +inviolability of personal responsibility, the sanctity of the +individual, the sacredness of freedom,--those great principles on which +the whole of our public and political life are founded. And I make bold +to say that these principles were gained as a heritage for all time, not +by the preaching of abstract justice, not by any consideration of the +moral beauty of liberty, but mainly by a remorseful passion over the +wrongs and the degradation of the slave. These great principles were +sown in weakness and dishonor, to be raised in honor and in the power of +an endless life. + +When, therefore, the Church of the living God awakes, as she is just +beginning to do, and closes in a life and death struggle with this far +deeper and more pervasive evil of the degradation of women and children, +which she has too long accepted as a melancholy necessity of human +nature, may we not find in the course of that conflict that wholly new +powers and new principles are being evolved, and that the apparent +impossibilities of our nature are only its divine possibilities in +disguise? May we not work out the true principles, not now of our public +and political life, but of the home, of the family, of personal conduct +and character--all those great moral bases on which the whole social +structure rests for its stability? Granted that this is the deepest and +strongest of all our world evils, that which is the most firmly based on +the original forces of our nature, and of that part of our nature which +has shown the deepest disorder--does not all this point to some great +issue? That which has been sown in such deep dishonor, will it not be +raised in some glory that excelleth? + +If God has suffered mighty empires and whole kingdoms to be wrecked on +this one evil; if He has made it throughout the Old Scriptures the +symbol of departure from Himself, and closely associated monogamic love +with monotheistic worship, teaching us by the history of all ancient +idolatries that the race which is impure spawns unclean idols and +Phrygian rites; if Nature attaches such preciousness to purity in man +that the statistics of insurance offices value a young man's life at +twenty-five, the very prime of well-regulated manhood, at exactly +one-half of what it is worth at fourteen, owing, Dr. Carpenter does not +hesitate to say, to the indulgence of the passions of youth; if the +tender Father, "who sits by the death-bed of the little sparrow," has +not thought it too great a price to pay that countless women and +children should be sunk to hell without a chance in this life, in a +degradation that has no name, but which, in its very depth, measures the +height of the sanctity of womanhood; do we think that all these +stupendous issues are for no end and to work out no purpose? Do we not +feel at once that we stand here at the very centre of the mighty forces +that are moulding men to nobler shape and higher use? + +Here, at least, is a force, if we will only use it, so weighted with +public disaster, with national decay, with private misery, that it +insists on making itself felt if there be a spark of life left and the +nation has not become mere dead carcase for the vultures of God's +judgments to prey upon. Here alone is a power strong enough to compel us +to simplify our life and restore its old divine order of marriage and +hard work, of "plain living and high thinking," which luxury and +self-ease are fast undermining. Here, in the slain of the daughters of +our people, is a stinging wrong that will goad us into seeing that the +people are so housed that a human life is possible to them. Here, if +anywhere, is a passion of conscience, and pity, and duty, and interest +combined, strong enough, a heaped-up weight of evil heavy enough, to +raise us to a self-giving manhood and a self-reverencing womanhood. + +And from this secret place of thunder is not God now calling His chosen +ones to come forward and be fellow-workers with Him? And when that call +is obeyed, when, to summarize what I have already said, the wrongs and +degradation of women and hapless children take hold of men, as, thank +God, they are beginning to take hold, with a remorseful passion, that +passion for the weak, the wronged, and the defenceless, which surely is +the divine in flower in a human soul; when women rise up in a wild +revolt against + + "The law that now is paramount, + The common law by which the poor and weak + Are trampled under foot of vicious men, + And loathed forever after by the good"; + +when the Christian Church at length hears the persistent interrogation +of her Lord, "Seest thou this woman?" and makes answer, "Yea, Lord, I +see that she is young, and poor, and outcast, and degraded," and speaks +to young men with something of the passion of the true Man--"It were +better for you that a millstone were hanged about your neck and you cast +into the depths of the sea, than that you should cause one of these +little ones to stumble"; when the fact that a foolish, giddy girl's feet +have slipped and fallen is no longer the signal for every man to look +upon her as fair game, and to trample her deeper into the mire, but the +signal to every man calling himself a man to hasten to her side, to +raise her up again and restore her to her lost womanhood; when boys are +taught from their earliest years that if they would have a clear brain, +a firm nerve, and a strong muscle, they must be pure, and purity is +looked upon as manly, at least, as much as truth and courage; when women +are no longer so lost to the dignity of their own womanhood as to make +companions of the very men who insult and degrade it; when the woman +requires the man to come to her in holy marriage in the glory of his +unfallen manhood, as he requires her to come to him in the beauty of her +spotless maidenhood; then, when these things begin to be, will not God's +order slowly evolve itself out of our disorder, and the man will become +the head of the woman, to guard her from all that makes her unfit to be +the mother of the race, and the woman will be the heart of the man, to +inspire him with all noble purpose? As we stand by this great +world-sepulchre of corruption our unbelieving heart can only exclaim: +"It stinketh." But the Christ meets us with the words, "Said I not unto +thee that if thou wouldst believe, thou shouldst see the glory of God?" +That which has been sown in human weakness must be raised in divine +power; that which has been sown in deep dishonor must be raised in +glory. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, even the +self-giving manhood of Him who is the Prince of Passion and the Lord of +Love, the manhood lifted into God. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 40: In this chapter I have quoted some passages from an +article of mine, "The Apocalypse of Evil," which appeared in the +_Contemporary Review_, and received the strong commendation of Dr. +Lightfoot, then Bishop of Durham. Many of the thoughts I owe to my +friend, James Hinton, to whom my obligations on this subject are +absolute.] + +[Footnote 41: We must be careful, however, in urging this difficulty, to +remember Dr. Martineau's teaching, which I have given in the third +chapter, and bear in mind that the evil here is due to man's disorder, +and not to Nature's order. In the animal world the reproductive +instincts work out as orderly results as all other natural instincts, +and are no stronger than is necessary for the preservation of the race.] + + + + +CONCLUSION + + +And it is this great upward movement, lifting man to a higher level, +which is given into the hands of us women, touching, as it does, all the +great trusts of our womanhood. What are we women going to do in the face +of such vast issues for good or evil? + +Undoubtedly we stand at the parting of the ways. In England undoubtedly +the old high traditions of English society have, at least in what is +called the "Upper Ten," been lowered and vulgarized. Our literature is +no longer as clean and wholesome as it was. The greater freedom that +women enjoy has not always been put to high uses. And all around us in +both countries the old order is changing, and the new order is not yet +born. Old positions are becoming untenable, with the higher position and +culture of women. It is becoming an impossibility for intelligent women +with a knowledge of physiology and an added sense of their own dignity +to accept the lower moral standard for men, which exposes them to the +risk of exchanging monogamy for a peculiarly vile polygamy--polygamy +with its sensuality, but without its duties--bringing physical risks to +their children and the terrible likelihood of an inherited moral taint +to their sons. It is an impossibility, now that mothers know, that they +should remain indifferent as to what sort of manhood they send out into +the world--the so-called manhood that either makes and maintains the +miserable sinner of our streets or is content to give a tainted name to +the mother of his child, or the true manhood lifted into God, whose +marriage is the type of the eternal union of God and the soul, of Christ +and the Church, and whose fatherhood claims kinship with the Father of +lights. It is impossible for women who are agitating for the +enfranchisement of their sex to accept as a necessary class in the midst +of a democratical society a class of citizens who, in Dr. Welldon's[42] +words, addressed to the University of Cambridge, "have lost once for all +time the rights of citizenship--who are nobody's wives, nobody's +sisters, nobody's friends, who live a living death in the world of men. +There are one hundred and fifty thousand such citizens,--perhaps far +more, in England and Wales--_and all are women_." + +These old positions are simply impossible, each a moral _reductio ad +absurdam_. We must institute a new and higher order. To do so we women +must unite in a great silent movement, a temple slowly rising up beneath +our hands without sound of axe or hammer. It will not make itself heard +on platforms; its cry will not be heard in our streets. It will go on +beneath the surface of our life, probably unheeded and unnoticed of +men. Women must educate women; those who know must teach those who are +in ignorance. Let mothers who have been roused to the greatness of the +issues at stake take as their field of labor the young mothers whom they +may know--possibly their own married daughters or nieces, possibly those +who are only bound to them by ties of friendship. Use this book, if you +will. If there are things in it which you don't approve of--and oh, how +much of the divine patience of our Lord do we need with one another in +dealing with this difficult question--cut out those pages, erase that +passage, but do not deny those young mothers the necessary knowledge to +guard the nursery or save their boys at school. And then try and follow +it up by quietly talking over the difficulties and the best method of +encountering them. Let us deny ourselves in order to give to +associations or institutions for the elevation of women, as well as to +that excellent society for men, the White Cross, which is spreading its +purifying work through both countries.[43] Let us do what we can to help +in organizing women's labor, so that a living wage may be secured and +no woman be driven by starvation into selling herself for a morsel of +bread. Let us endeavor to secure the franchise that we may have the +power of legislating for the protection of women on the one point on +which we stand in sharp opposition to all but good men; especially such +measures as raising the age of consent, so deplorably low in some of +your States, that your children are almost without legal protection; +resisting State regulation of vice in the army; cleansing the streets by +an Act pressing equally on men and women, and many others which will +suggest themselves to you. But let us, at the same time, clearly +recognize that the remedy must lie deeper than any external agency--must +be as deep as life itself, and must be worked out in the silence of our +own hearts and of our own homes. We must restore the law of God, quietly +but firmly insisting on the equal moral standard for men and women +alike; and we must maintain the sanctity and permanence of the marriage +bond as ordained by Christ himself. + +I say again I do not think, I simply _know_, by my own experience, that +men will rise to any standard which women choose to set them. Ruskin's +noble words are the simple truth: + + "Their whole course and character are in your hands; what you would + have them be they shall be, if you not only desire to have them so, + but deserve to have them so, for they are but mirrors in which you + will see yourselves imaged.... You fancy, perhaps, as you have been + told so often, that a wife's rule should only be over her husband's + house, not over his mind. Ah no! the true rule is just the reverse + of that: a true wife, in her husband's house, is his servant; it is + in his heart that she is queen. Whatever of best he can conceive, + it is her part to be; whatever of highest he can hope, it is hers + to promise. All that is dark in him she must purge into purity; all + that is failing in him she must strengthen into truth; from her, + through all the world's clamor, he must win his praise; in her, + through all the world's warfare, he must find his peace." + +Last, but not least, we must set ourselves to make our lives simpler and +plainer, and oppose the ever-increasing luxury and love of pleasure, +with its sure and certain result, a relaxed moral fibre, which, to a +race called to such high destinies and difficult tasks as our +Anglo-Saxon race, is simply fatal. It can, and it must be done. As +Philip Hammerton remarks: + + "It is entirely within the power of public opinion to relieve the + world from the weariness of this burthen of expensive living; it + has actually been done to a great extent with regard to the + costliness of funerals, a matter in which public opinion has always + been very authoritative. If it will now permit a man to be buried + simply when he is dead, why cannot it allow him to exist simply + whilst he is living?" + +To lessen the expense of dress, which has risen twenty per cent, within +the last thirty years; to restore amusements to their proper place, as +recreation after hard work for the good of others; to resist the +ever-increasing restlessness of our day, leading to such constant +absences from home as seriously to threaten all steady work for the +amelioration of the stay-at-home classes, and use up the funds which are +needed for that work; to keep a simple table, so that the future Sir +Andrew Clark may no longer have to say that more than half of our +diseases come from over-eating; to resist the vulgar tendency to compete +with our richer or more fashionable neighbors in their style of +living--surely these sacrifices are not beyond us, to attain a great +end, both for ourselves and our empire. If indeed we think we can meet +this evil without making sacrifices amounting to a silent revolution in +our life; if we think, as I have sometimes thought some women do think, +that we can quench this pit of perdition in our midst by, as it were, +emptying our scent-bottles upon it,--shedding a few empty tears, heaving +a few sentimental sighs: "It is very sad! of course I can't do anything, +but I am sure I wish all success to your noble work"--possibly even +giving a very little money, say a guinea a year, to a penitentiary--all +I can say is, _God is not mocked_. I know but one thing in heaven or +earth that will quench it, and that is life-blood. Sometimes I have +asked in anguish of spirit: "Will women give it?" I believe they will. +But, whether we give it or not, what Matthew Arnold called "the noblest +of religious utterances" holds good here: "Without shedding of blood +there is no remission of this sin." + +And it is because I know that mothers will spend their heart's blood in +saving their sons, and because I believe that women, with their new-born +position and dignity, will not go on accepting as a matter of course +that their womanhood should be fashioned like the Egyptian sphinx, half +pure woman, crowned with intellectual and moral beauty, dowered with the +homage of men; and half unclean beast of prey, seeking whom it may slay, +outcast and abandoned and forced to snare or starve--it is because of +this, my rooted faith in women, that I have hope. + +As long ago as 1880 Professor Max Müller, ever anxious for the interests +of his Indian fellow-subjects, when Mr. Malabari came to ask him how he +could rouse English public opinion with regard to the injuries inflicted +on young girls by Hindu child-marriages, answered him at once, "Write a +short pamphlet and send it to the women of England. They begin to be a +power, and they have one splendid quality, they are never beaten."[44] +And if this can be said of English women, still more may it be said of +the women of America. + +But, further, to strengthen us in this splendid quality, have we +sufficiently recognized the new moral forces that are coming into the +world? Have our eyes been opened to see "the horses and chariots of +fire" which are silently taking up their position around us, to guard +us and fight for us, that we may not be beaten; the deepened sense of +moral obligation, the added power of conscience, the altogether new +altruistic sense which makes the misery and degradation of others cling +to us like a garment we cannot shake off, a sense of others' woes for +which we have had to invent a new word? Lord Shaftesbury's legislation +does not date so very far back; and yet when his Bill for delivering +women and children from working in our mines was hanging in the balance, +and the loss of a single vote might wreck it--women, be it remembered, +who were working naked to the waist in the coal-mines, and little +children of eight or nine who were carrying half a sack of coals twelve +times a day the height of St. Paul's Cathedral--the Archbishop of +Canterbury and the Bishop of London left the House of Lords without +voting, as the subject did not interest them; while in the lower House +Bright and Gladstone both voted against the Bill, Gladstone being the +only member who, when the Bill was passed by a bare majority, endeavored +to delay its coming into operation! I ask, Would such a state of things +be possible in these days? Am I not right in saying that new moral +forces and sensibilities have been born within us which make such a +state of things not only impossible, but simply incomprehensible? + +Why then should we despair? What! Has God built up His everlasting +marble of broken shells, and will He not build up his temple of the +future out of these broken efforts of ours? Has He made His pure and +splendid diamond out of mere soot, and shall we refuse to see in the +blackest and foulest moral problem the possibilities of the diamond, of +a higher life worked out in the process of its solution, reflecting His +light and His love? Has He made His precious sapphire of the mere mud +that we tread under our feet, and, when we insist on our little sisters' +being no longer trodden like mud "under foot of vicious men," may they +not in the course of their redemption bring an added hue of heaven to +our life, an added purity to home and family, and behold, instead of the +old mud, a sapphire throne, and above it the likeness as of a divine +man?[45] + +But to those who still hang back with a feeling of almost angry +repulsion from the whole subject which makes them refuse even to face +the perils and temptations of their own boys, I would address no hard +words, remembering but too well the terrible struggle it cost me to make +this my life work. Only I would remind them of that greatest act in all +history, by which the world was redeemed. The Cross to us is so +associated with the adoration of the ages, so glorified by art, and +music, and lofty thought, that we have ceased to realize what it was in +actual fact such as no painter has ever dared to portray it; the Cross, +not elevated as in sacred pictures, but huddled up with the jeering +crowd; the Cross with its ribald blasphemies, its shameful nakedness, +its coarse mockeries, its brutal long-drawn torture. Do you think it +cost the women of that day nothing to bear all this on their tender +hearts? Yet what was it that made men draw nearer and nearer, till the +women who at first "stood afar off, beholding these things," we are +told, at last "stood by the cross of Jesus"; and, when all men forsook +Him and fled, placed themselves heart to heart with the Divine Love +bearing the sins of the world and casting them into the abysmal depths +of its own being, deeper even than the depths of man's sin? What was it +but their faithfulness to the Highest that they had known which made +them endure the Cross, despising the shame? + +And now, when at the end of the ages He once again calls us women to +stand heart to heart with Him in a great redemptive purpose, shall we +hang back? Shall we not rather obey the Divine call, enduring the Cross, +despising the shame, and, like those women of old, winning for +ourselves, by faithfulness unto death, the joy of being made the +messengers of a higher and risen life to the world? + +God grant that the power of the Holy Ghost may overshadow us and enable +us to make answer with her whom all generations have called blessed: +"Behold the hand-maiden of the Lord!" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 42: Late Head-Master of Harrow; now Metropolitan of India.] + +[Footnote 43: I would especially commend this modern order of knighthood +to the prayers and support of women. It is bravely fighting our battle +for us and doing the public work among men. As it attacks what is +especially the sin of the moneyed classes, it is unpopular, men +resenting its interference with what they call their private life, and +it is always in peril for want of funds. The White Cross league admits +women associates for intercessory prayer--and what mother will not be +thankful for that?--for any work where women's aid is needed, and for +raising funds for what is so emphatically our own cause. I would +earnestly suggest to women who have incomes of their own that they +should leave the White Cross a small legacy, so as to place it on a +firmer basis. I hope myself to leave the English branch Ł2000.] + +[Footnote 44: From an article in the _Nineteenth Century_ on "Meddling +with Hindu Marriages."] + +[Footnote 45: Ezek. i., 26.] + + + + +APPENDIX + + +In Mr. Edward Thring's address to the Church Congress at Carlisle in +1841, he said: + +"Curiosity, ignorance, and lies form a very hot-bed of impurity. We pay +heavily for our civilized habits in false shame and the mystery in which +sex is wrapped. + +"I confess that for curiosity I have no remedy to propose. Ignorance and +lies are on a different footing. I suppose everyone is acquainted with +some of the current lies about the impossibility of being pure. The only +answer to this is a flat denial from experience. I know it is possible, +and, when once attained, easy. The means, under God, in my own case, was +a letter from my father. A quiet, simple statement of the sinfulness of +the sin and a few of the plain texts from St. Paul saved me. A film fell +from my eyes at my father's letter. My first statement is that all +fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. It is not difficult +if done in a common-sense way. Following out this plan at Uppingham in +the morning Bible lessons, I have always spoken as occasion arose with +perfect plainness on lust and its devil-worship, particularly noting its +deadly effect on human life and its early and dishonored graves. +Ignorance is deadly, because perfect ignorance in a boy is impossible. I +consider the half-ignorance so deadly that once a year, at the time of +confirmation, I speak openly to the whole school, divided into three +different sets. First I take the confirmees, then the communicants and +older boys, then the younger boys, on three following nights after +evening prayers. The first two sets I speak very plainly to, the last +only warn against all indecency in thought, word, or deed, whether alone +or with companions. Thus no boy who has been at school a whole year can +sin in ignorance, and a boy who despises this warning is justly turned +out of the school on conviction." + + Finally, he dwelt upon the necessity of school life having joined + to it a home life. The purifying influence of a good woman and a + fuller recognition of woman's work and place in the world he looked + upon as that which promised most for lifting mankind into a higher + atmosphere of pure life. + + +THE END. + + +White Cross Series of Tracts. + +White Cross Manual. Containing an Account of the Origin and Progress of +the Movement, A Statement of its Objects and Methods, Plan of +Organization, Suggestions on the Conduct of the Work, Devotional +Offices, etc. Paper, 64 pages ... $0.05 + +1. AN ADDRESS TO THE MEMBERS OF THE WHITE CROSS ARMY. + By the Right Rev. the BISHOP OF DURHAM. + +2. THE WHITE CROSS ARMY. + A Statement of the Bishop of Durham's Movement. BY ELLICE HOPKINS. + +3. PER ANGUSTA AD AUGUSTA. BY J.E.H. + +7. THE RIDE OF DEATH. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +8. THE BLACK ANCHOR. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +9. THE AMERICAN ZULU. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +Price, 3 cents each. $2.00 a hundred, direct from the Publishers. + + +Shorter papers. + +$1.00 a hundred. + +LOST IN QUICKSAND. By J.E.H. + +IS IT NATURAL? By J.E.H. + +MORAL MONEY CLIPPERS. By J.E.H. + +WHO HOLDS THE ROPE? By J.E.H. + +ROLLING AWAY THE STONE. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +TOUCHING PITCH. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +THE DEFACED IMAGE RESTORED. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +POWER TO LET. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + + +E.P. DUTTON & CO., PUBLISHERS. + +31 West 23d Street, New York. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and +Sons, by Ellice Hopkins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + +***** This file should be named 16047-8.txt or 16047-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/4/16047/ + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and Sons + A Book For Parents, And Those In Loco Parentis + +Author: Ellice Hopkins + +Release Date: June 13, 2005 [EBook #16047] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + + + + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + <h1>THE<br /> + <span class="smcap">Power Of Womanhood</span></h1> + + <h3>OR<br /> + MOTHERS AND SONS</h3> + + <h4>A BOOK FOR PARENTS, AND THOSE IN<br /> + LOCO PARENTIS</h4> + + <p> </p> + + <h5>BY</h5> + + <h3>ELLICE HOPKINS</h3> + + <p class='center'><span class="smcap">author of "life and + letters of james hinton,"<br /> + "wars among workingmen," etc.</span></p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i4">Sow an act, and you reap a + habit:</span> <span class="i4">Sow a habit, and you + reap a character:</span> <span class="i4">Sow a + character, and you reap a destiny.</span> + </div> + </div> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p class='center'>NEW YORK</p> + + <h4>E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY</h4> + + <p class='center'>31 <span class="smcap">West Twenty-Third + Street</span></p> + + <p class='center'>1901<a name="Page_2" + id="Page_2"></a></p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p class="center"><span class="smcap">Copyright, 1899<br /> + by</span></p> + + <p class='center'>E.P. DUTTON & CO.</p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p class='center'>The Knickerbocker Press, New York</p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <h2><a name="Page_3" + id="Page_3"></a>PREFACE</h2> + + <p>This little book has been written under great physical + disabilities, chiefly while wandering about in search of + health, and consequently far from the libraries which would + have enabled me to give proper references to all my quotations. + Often for a whole year I have been unable to touch it; but + again and again I have returned to my task, feeling it worth + any risk to mind or body if only in the end its words might + prove of some service to the educated mothers of England and + America.</p> + + <p>Under these circumstances, I know I may plead for indulgence + as to any defects its pages may present.</p> + + <p>But now that, after six years, I have realized the pretty + Eastern proverb, "By patience and perseverance, and a bottle of + sweet-oil, the snail at length reaches Jerusalem,"—now + that by God's unfailing help I have finished my difficult task, + I can but commit the book into the hands of the women who have + implanted in me, next to my faith in God, faith in the "Power + of Womanhood," and whose faithful adherence and co-operation + remain the deepest and most grateful memory of my life. Most of + the ordinary means of circulation are closed to a book of this + nature. The <a name="Page_4" + id="Page_4"></a>doors of circulating libraries are for the + most part shut; notices in papers for the general public are + necessarily few; nor can I any longer hope, as I once did, + to visit America, and give it a wide circulation by my own + efforts. I can but stretch out my hands to my many dear + unknown friends in America,—hands which have grown too + weak to hold the sword or lift the banner in a cause for + which I have laid down my all,—and ask any mother who + may find help or strength in this book to help me in return + by placing it in the hands of other mothers of boys she may + know, especially,—I would plead,—young mothers. + Do not say they are too young to know. If they are not too + young to be the mothers of boys, they are not too young to + know how to fulfil the responsibility inherent in such + motherhood. They at least can begin at the beginning, and + not have occasion to say, as so many mothers have said to + me, with tears in their eyes, "Oh, if I could only have + heard you years ago, what a difference it would have made to + me! But now it is too late."</p> + + <p>Enable me thus, by your aid, to do some helpful work for + that great country which I have ever loved as my own; and which + with England is appointed in the Providence of God to lead in + the great moral causes of the world.</p> + + <p>If, indeed, each mother whom, either by word or deed, I may + have helped would do me this service of love now that I am laid + aside, not yielding to the first <a name="Page_5" + id="Page_5"></a>adverse criticism, which is so often only a + cry of pain or prejudice, but patiently working on at + enlightening and strengthening the hands of other mothers in + her own rank of life, what vital work would be + done:—work so precious in its very nature, so + far-reaching in its consequences, that all the travail and + anguish I have endured, all the brokenness of body and soul + I have incurred, would not so much as come into mind for joy + that a truer manhood is being born into the world, even the + manhood of Him who—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i2">"Came on earth that He might show + mankind<br /></span> <span class="i0">What 'tis to be + a<span class="smcap">man</span>: to give, not + take;</span> <span class="i0">To serve, not rule; to + nourish, not devour;<br /></span> <span class="i0">To + help, not crush; if needs, to die, not + live."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p class="smcap">2 Belle Vue Gardens<br /> + Walpole Road, Brighton,<br /> + <span style="margin-left:2em;"><i>Nov. 1, 1899</i>.</span></p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <h2>CONTENTS</h2> + + <table border="0" + cellpadding="4" + cellspacing="0" + summary="Table of Contents"> + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER + I—INTRODUCTORY</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II—"WHY SHOULD + I INTERFERE?"</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III—FIRST + PRINCIPLES</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV—THE SECRET + AND METHOD</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V—EARLY + BOYHOOD</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI—BOYHOOD AND + SCHOOL LIFE</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII—EARLY + MANHOOD</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII—THE + INFLUENCE OF SISTERS</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX—THE MODERN + WOMAN AND HER FUTURE</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X—NATIONAL AND + IMPERIAL ASPECTS</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI—THE DYNAMIC + ASPECT OF EVIL</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#CONCLUSION"> CONCLUSION</a></td> + </tr> + + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#APPENDIX"> APPENDIX</a></td> + </tr> + </table> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p><a name="Page_8" + id="Page_8"></a></p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"No advice, no exposure, will be of use until the right + relation exists between the father and mother and their + son. To deserve his confidence, to keep it as the chief + treasure committed to them by God;—to be, the father + his strength, the mother his sanctification, and both his + chosen refuge, through all weakness, evil, danger, and + amazement of his young life."</p> + + <p class="author"><span class="smcap">Rushkin</span>.</p> + </div> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <p> </p> + + <h1 class="smcap">The<br /> + Power of Womanhood</h1> + <hr /> + + <p><a name="Page_21" + id="Page_21"></a></p> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" + id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + + <h2>INTRODUCTORY</h2> + + <p>In a banquet given in honor of Heinrik Ibsen by a Norwegian + society known as the Woman's League, in response to a speech + thanking him in the name of the society for all he had done for + the cause of women, the poet, while disclaiming the honor of + having consciously worked for the woman's cause—indeed, + not even being quite clear as to what the woman's cause really + was, since in his eyes it was indistinguishable from the cause + of humanity—concluded his speech with the words:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"It has always seemed to me that the great problem is to + elevate the nation and place it on a higher level. Two + factors, the man and the woman, must co-operate for this + end, and it lies especially with the mothers of the people, + by slow and strenuous work, to arouse in it a conscious + sense of culture and discipline. To the woman, then, we + must look for the solution of the problem of humanity. It + must come from them as mothers: that is the mission that + lies before them."</p> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_10" + id="Page_10"></a>Whether we are admirers of the great + Norwegian poet or not, whether we are afflicted with + Ibsenism, or regard his peculiar genius in a more critical + and dispassionate light, no one would deny to him that deep + intuitive insight which belongs to a poet, and which borders + so closely on the prophet's gift.</p> + + <p>It is now some years since I have been laid aside, owing to + the terrible strain and burthen of my ten years' conflict with + the evils that are threatening the sanctity of the family, the + purity of the home, and all that constitutes the higher life of + the nation. But in those ten years the one truth that was burnt + into my very soul was the truth enunciated by Ibsen, that it is + to the woman that we must look for the solution of the deepest + moral problems of humanity, and that the key of those problems + lies in the hands of the mothers of our race. They, and they + alone, can unlock the door to a purer and a stronger life. + This, in Ibsen's words, "is the mission that lies before them." + And it is this strong conviction which makes me feel that, even + with broken powers and shattered health, I cannot rest from my + labors without, at any cost to myself, placing the knowledge + and experience gained in those years of toil and sorrow at the + disposal of the educated women of the English-speaking world + who, either as mothers or in other capacities, have the care + and training of the young.</p> + + <p>No one recognizes more thankfully than I do the + <a name="Page_11" + id="Page_11"></a>progress that the woman's movement has made + during what have been to me years of inaction and suffering. + The ever-increasing activity in all agencies for the + elevation of women; the multiplication of preventive + institutions and rescue societies; above all, that new sense + of a common womanhood, that <i>esprit de corps</i> in which + hitherto we have been so grievously lacking, and which is + now beginning to bind all our efforts together into one + great whole—these I thankfully recognize. We no longer + each of us set up in separate and somewhat antagonistic + individuality our own little private burrow of good works, + with one way in and one way out, and nothing else needed for + the wants of the universe. We realize now that no one agency + can even partially cover the ground, and conferences are now + held of all who are working for the good of women and + children, to enable the separate agencies to work more + effectually into one another's hands and unite more + fervently in heart and soul in a common cause. Beneath all + this, apart from any external organization whatever, there + is a silent work going on in the hearts of thoughtful and + educated mothers, which never comes before the public at + all, but is silently spreading and deepening under the + surface of our life.</p> + + <p>But when all this is thankfully recognized and acknowledged, + I still cannot help questioning whether the mass of educated + women have at all grasped the depth and complexity of the + problem with which we <a name="Page_12" + id="Page_12"></a>have to grapple if we are to fufil our + trust as the guardians of the home and family, and those + hidden wells of the national life from which spring up all + that is best and highest in the national character. Nay, I + sometimes fear lest even our increased activity in practical + work may not have the effect of calling off our attention + from those deep underlying causes which must be dealt with + if we are not to engage in the hopeless task of trying to + fill a cistern the tap of which has been left running. This + absorption in the effect and inattention to the cause is to + a certain degree bred in us by the very nature of the duties + that devolve upon us as women. John Stuart Mill has compared + the life of a woman to an "interrupted sentence." The mere + fact that our lives are so interrupted by incessant home + calls, and that we are necessarily so concerned in the + details of life, is apt to make us wanting in grasp of + underlying principles. Perhaps it is the fact of my having + been associated all the early years of my life with eminent + scientific men that has formed in me a habit of mind always + to regard effects in relation to causes, so that merely to + cure evil results without striking at the evil cause seems + to me, to use a Johnsonian simile, "like stopping up a hole + or two of a sieve with the hope of making it hold + water."</p> + + <p>It is, therefore, on these deeper aspects that more + especially bear upon the lives and training of our own sons + that I want to write, placing before you some facts + <a name="Page_13" + id="Page_13"></a>which you must know if you are to be their + guardians, and venturing to make some suggestions which, as + the result of much collective wisdom and prayer, I think may + prove helpful to you in that which lies nearest your heart. + Only, if some of the facts are such as may prove both + painful and disagreeable to you, do not therefore reject + them in your ignorance as false. Do not follow the advice of + a politician to a friend whom he was urging to speak on some + public question. "But how can I?" his friend replied; "I + know nothing of the subject, and should therefore have + nothing to say." "Oh, you can always get up and deny the + facts," was the sardonic reply.</p> + + <p>Let me first of all give you my credentials, all the more + necessary as my long illness has doubtless made me unknown by + name to many of the younger generation, who may therefore + question my right to impart facts or make any suggestions at + all. Suffer me, therefore, to recount to you how I have gained + my knowledge and what are the sources of my information.</p> + + <p>In the first place, I was trained for the work by a medical + man—my friend Mr. James Hinton—first in his own + branch of the London profession, and a most original thinker. + To him the degradation of women, which most men accept with + such blank indifference, was a source of unspeakable distress. + He used to wander about the Haymarket and Piccadilly in London + at night, and break his heart over the sights he saw + <a name="Page_14" + id="Page_14"></a>and the tales he heard. The words of the + Prophet ground themselves into his very soul, with regard to + the miserable wanderers of our streets: "This is a people + robbed and spoiled; they are all of them snared in holes and + hid in prison-houses; they are for a prey, and none + delivereth; for a spoil, and none saith, Restore."</p> + + <p>The very first time he came down to me at Brighton, to see + if I could give him any help, speaking of all he had seen and + heard, his voice suddenly broke, and he bowed his face upon my + hands and wept like a child. That one man could suffer as he + did over the degradation of this womanhood of ours has always + been to me the most hopeful thing I know—a divine earnest + of ultimate overcoming. The only thing that seemed in a measure + to assuage his anguish was my promise to devote myself to the + one work of fighting it and endeavoring to awake the conscience + of the nation to some sense of guilt with regard to it. In + order to fit me for this work he considered that I ought to + know all that he as a medical man knew. He emphatically did not + spare me, and often the knowledge that he imparted to me was + drowned in a storm of tears. We were to have worked together, + but his mind, already unhinged by suffering, ultimately gave + way, and, with all that this world could give him—health, + fame, wealth, family affection, devoted friends—he died + prematurely of a broken heart.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_15" + id="Page_15"></a>For ten years, therefore, after my friend's + death I gave up everything for the purpose of carrying on + the work he left me, and beat wearily up and down the three + kingdoms, holding meetings, organizing practical work, + agitating for the greater legal protection of the young, + afterwards embodied in two Acts—one for removing + children from dens of infamy and one known as the Criminal + Law Amendment Act, which have done much to educate the + public sentiment of the country; but always making it my + chief object to rouse educated women to face the facts about + their own womanhood, and, above all, to rouse mothers to + realize the perils of their own boys and to be determined to + know enough to enable them to act as their guardians.</p> + + <p>During those ten years of warfare, passing as I did from + family to family, and always concerned with questions that + touch upon the innermost shrine of our life, I necessarily + became the recipient of many hidden sorrows. In fact, my + fellow-creatures used me as a bottomless well into which they + could empty their household skeletons; and I used often to + reflect with sardonic satisfaction that I should never run dry + like other old wells, but that death would come and fill me up + with a good wholesome shovelful of earth, and I and my + skeletons would lie quiet together. But in this way I gained a + knowledge of what is going on under the surface of our life, + whether we choose to ignore it or not, which possibly can only + come to those who are set <a name="Page_16" + id="Page_16"></a>apart to be confessors of their kind; and + the conclusion was forced upon me that this evil, in one + form or another, is more or less everywhere—in our + nurseries, in our public, and still more our private, + schools, decorously seated on magisterial benches, fouling + our places of business, and even sanctimoniously seated in + our places of worship.</p> + + <p>After the first two years of work among women I found that + it was absolutely hopeless attacking the evil from one side + only, and I had to nerve myself as best I could to address + large mass meetings of men, always taking care clearly to + define my position—that I had not come upon that platform + to help them, but to ask them to help me in a battle that I had + found too hard for me, and that I stood before them as a woman + pleading for women. The first of these meetings I addressed at + the instance of the late revered Bishop of Durham, Dr. + Lightfoot, who took the chair, and inaugurated the White Cross + Movement, which has since spread over the civilized world. And + throughout this most difficult side of my work I had his + priceless co-operation and approval; besides the wise counsel, + guidance, and unfailing sympathy of one whom but to name is to + awake the deepest springs of reverence, Dr. Wilkinson, then the + incumbent of St. Peter's, Eaton Square, afterwards Bishop of + Truro, and now Bishop of St. Andrews. But so great was the + effort that it cost me, that I do not think I could have done + this <a name="Page_17" + id="Page_17"></a>part of my work but for my two favorite + mottoes—the one, that "I can't" is a lie in the lips + that repeat, "I believe in the Holy Ghost"; the other, + received from the lips of Bishop Selwyn, that "If as + soldiers of the Cross we stick at anything, we are disgraced + forever."</p> + + <p>But lastly, and perhaps best of all, as giving weight to any + suggestions that I may make, across the dismal mud swamp that I + often trod with such an aching heart and faltering steps came + to meet me God's best and highest, with outstretched hands of + help and encouragement. It was the highly-cultivated and + thoughtful women who, amidst the storm of obloquy that beat + upon me from every quarter, first ranged themselves by my side, + perceiving that the best way to avoid a danger is not to refuse + to see it. Some were women already in the field in connection + with Mrs. Butler's movement, to which our nation owes so much, + some were roused by my words.</p> + + <p>In all our large towns where I formed Associations for the + Care of Friendless Girls I was in the habit of reporting my + work to the clergy of my own church, whose sympathy and + cooperation I shall ever gratefully acknowledge. Ultimately, + the leading laity, as well as some Nonconformist ministers, + joined with us; often these conferences were diocesan + meetings—to which, however, Nonconformists were + invited—with the Bishop of the diocese in the chair; and + after <a name="Page_18" + id="Page_18"></a>my address free discussion took place, so + that I had the advantage of hearing the opinions and + judgments of many of our leading men in regard to this + difficult problem, and getting at men's views of the + question.</p> + + <p>The matter that I lay before you, therefore, has been + thoroughly and repeatedly threshed out at such conferences, as + well as in long, earnest, private talks with the wisest and + most experienced mothers and teachers of our day; and it is in + their name, far more than in my own, that I ask you to ponder + what I say.</p> + + <p>Do not, however, be under any fear that I intend in these + pages to make myself the medium of all sorts of horrors. I + intend to do no such thing. It is but very little evil that you + will need to know, and that not in detail, in order to guard + your own boys. We women, thank God, have to do with the + fountain of sweet waters, clear as crystal, that flow from the + throne of God; not with the sewer that flows from the foul + imaginations and actions of men. Our part is the inculcation of + positive purity, not the part of negative warning against vice. + Nor need you fear that the evil you must know, in order to + fulfil your most sacred trust, will sully you. This I say + emphatically, that the evil which we have grappled with to save + one of our own dear ones does not sully. It is the evil that we + read about in novels and newspapers, for our own amusement; it + is the evil that we weakly give way to in our lives; above all, + it <a name="Page_19" + id="Page_19"></a>is the destroying evil that we have refused + so much as to know of in our absorbing care for our own + alabaster skin—it is <i>that</i> evil which defiles + the woman. But the evil that we have grappled with in a life + and death struggle to save a soul for whom Christ died does + not sully: it clothes from head to foot with the white robe, + it crowns with the golden crown. Though I have had to know + what, thank God! no other woman may ever again be called + upon to know, I can yet speak of the great conflict that + involved this knowledge as being the one great purifying, + sanctifying influence of my life. But even if, as men would + often persuade us, the knowledge of the world's evil would + sully us, I know I utter the heart of every woman when I say + that we choose the hand that is sullied in saving our own + dear ones from the deep mire that might otherwise have + swallowed them up, rather than the hand that has kept itself + white and pure because it has never been stretched out to + save. That hand may be white, but in God's sight it is white + with the whiteness of leprosy. Believe, rather, the words of + James Hinton, written to a woman friend: "You women have + been living in a dreamland of your own; but dare to live in + this poor disordered world of God's, and it will work out in + you a better goodness than your own,"—even that + purified womanhood, strong to know, and strong to save, + before whose gracious loveliness the strongest man grows + weak as a child, and, as a little child, grows pure.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_20" + id="Page_20"></a>God grant that, in view of the tremendous + responsibilities that devolve upon us women in these latter + days, we may cry from our hearts:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Let not fine culture, poesy, art, + sweet tones,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Build up + about my soothed sense a world<br /></span> + <span class="i0">That is not Thine, and wall me up in + dreams.<br /></span> <span class="i0">So my sad heart + may cease to beat with Thine,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">The great World-Heart, whose blood, + forever shed,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Is human + life, whose ache is man's dull pain."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" + id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + + <h3>"WHY SHOULD I INTERFERE?"</h3> + + <p>I am, of course, aware that at the very outset I shall be + met by the question—far less frequently urged, however, + by thoughtful mothers than it used to be—"Why need I + interfere at all in a subject like this? Why may I not leave it + all to the boy's father? Why should it be my duty to face a + question which is very distasteful to me, and which I feel I + had much better let alone?"</p> + + <p>I would answer at once, Because the evil is so rife, the + dangers so great and manifold, the temptations so strong and + subtle, that your influence must be united to that of the boy's + father if you want to safeguard him. Every influence you can + lay hold of is needed here, and will not prove more than + enough. The influence of one parent alone is not sufficient, + more especially as there are potent lines of influence open to + you as a woman from which a man, from the very fact that he is + a man, is necessarily debarred.</p> + + <p>You must bring the whole of that influence to bear for the + following considerations.</p> + + <p>Let me take the lowest and simplest first. Even if + <a name="Page_22" + id="Page_22"></a>you be indifferent to your boy's moral + welfare, you cannot be indifferent to his physical + well-being, nay, to his very existence. Here I necessarily + cannot tell you all I know; but I would ask you thoughtfully + to study for yourself a striking diagram which Dr. + Carpenter, in one of our recognized medical text-books, has + reproduced from the well-known French statistician, + Quetelet, showing the comparative viability, or life value, + of men and women respectively at different ages.</p> + <div class="figcenter"><img width="520" src="images/diagram.png" + alt="Comparative viability of male and female at different ages." /> + <span class="smcap">diagram representing the comparative viability of the male and female + at different ages.</span></div> + + <p>The female line, where it differs from the male, is the + dotted line, the greater or less probability or value of life + being shown by the greater or less distance of the line of life + from the level line at the bottom. Infant life being very + fragile, the line steadily rises till it reaches + <a name="Page_23" + id="Page_23"></a>its highest point, between thirteen and + fourteen. In both cases there is then a rapid fall, the age + of puberty being a critical age. But from fifteen, when the + female line begins to right itself, only showing by a gentle + curve downwards the added risks of the child-bearing period + in a woman's life, the male line, which ought, without these + risks, to keep above the female line, makes a sharp dip + below it, till it reaches its lowest point at twenty-five, + the age when the excesses of youth have had time to tell + most on the system.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" + id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" + class="fnanchor">[1]</a> Here, at least, is evidence that + none can gainsay. The more you ponder that mysterious sharp + dip in the man's line of life at the very age which Nature + intended should be the prime and flower of life, the more + deeply you will feel that some deep and hidden danger lies + concealed there, the more earnestly you will come to the + conclusion that you cannot and will not thrust from you the + responsibility that rests upon you as the boy's mother of + helping to guard him from it. Keep him from the knowledge of + evil, and the temptations that come with that knowledge, you + cannot. The few first days at school will insure that, to + say nothing of the miserable streets of our large towns. As + Thackeray long ago said in a well-known passage, much + animadverted on at the time:</p> + + <p><a name="Page_24" + id="Page_24"></a></p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"And by the way, ye tender mothers and sober fathers of + Christian families, a prodigious thing that theory of life + is, as orally learnt at a great public school. Why! if you + could hear those boys of fourteen who blush before their + mothers, and sneak off in silence in the presence of their + daughters, talking among each other, it would be the + woman's turn to blush then. Before Pen was twelve years + old, and while his mother thought him an angel of candour, + little Pen had heard enough to make him quite awfully wise + upon certain points; and so, madam, has your pretty + rosy-cheeked son who is coming home from school for the + ensuing Christmas holidays. I don't say that the boy is + lost, or that the innocence has left him which he had 'from + heaven, which is our home,' but that the shades of the + prison house are closing very fast round him, and that we + are helping as much as possible to corrupt + him."<a name="FNanchor_2_2" + id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" + class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + </div> + + <p>But though you cannot keep him from the knowledge of evil, + you can be a potent factor in teaching him the hidden dangers + that beset him, in seeing that his young feet rest on the rock + of true knowledge, and not on the shifting quagmire of the + devil's lies; but above all, in inspiring him with a high ideal + of conduct, which will make him shrink from everything low and + foul as he would from card-sharping or sneaking, proving + yourself thus to him as far as in you lies—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"A perfect woman, nobly + planned,<br /></span> <span class="i0">To warn, to + comfort, and command;<br /></span> <span class="i0">And + yet a spirit still, and bright<br /></span> + <span class="i0">With something of an angel + light."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>The boy thus mothered is saved as a rule from all physical + risk.</p> + + <p>And this in part anticipates my second point. You + <a name="Page_25" + id="Page_25"></a>cannot let this question alone if you are + to aim at the highest for your boy. High character is more + to be accounted of than long life. And it is to you, as a + woman, that the guarding of the higher springs of his nature + is especially entrusted. My whole experience has gone to + teach me, with ever-increasing force, that the proposition + that purity is vitally necessary for the woman, but of + comparatively small account for the man, is absolutely + false. Granted that, owing to social ostracism, the outward + degradation of impurity to the woman is far greater, I + contend that a deeper inner debasement is its sure fruition + in the man. Cruelty and lies are its certain accompaniment. + As Burns, with a poet's insight, has truly said:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"But oh! it hardens a' + within,<br /></span> <span class="i2">And petrifies the + feeling."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>Yes, it is exactly that; "it hardens all + within"—hardens and darkens. It is as our Lord says: only + "the pure in heart" are capable of divine vision. Only the man + who has kept himself pure, who has never sullied his white + faith in womanhood, never profaned the sacred mysteries of life + and love, never fouled his manhood in the stye of the + beast—it is only that man who can see God, who can see + duty where another sees useless sacrifice, who can see and + grasp abiding principles in a world of expediency and + self-interest, and discern</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"In temporal policy the eternal + Will,"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_26" + id="Page_26"></a>who can see God in the meanest of His + redeemed creatures. It is only the virginal heart that has + kept itself pure, that grows not old, but keeps its + freshness, its innocent gaiety, its simple pleasures. The + eminent Swiss Professor, Aimé Humbert, does but echo these + words from the sadder side, when, speaking of the moral + malady which is the result of impurity, he says:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"It does not attack any single organ of the human frame, + but it withers all that is human—mind, body, and + soul. It strikes our youth at the unhappy moment when they + first cross the thresholds of vice. For them the spring has + no more innocent freshness; their very friendships are + polluted by foul suggestions and memories; they become + strangers to all the honorable relations of a pure young + life; and thus we see stretching wider and wider around us + the circle of this mocking, faded, worn-out, sceptical + youth, without poetry and without love, without faith and + without joy."</p> + </div> + + <p>Too soon and too earnestly we cannot teach our boys that the + flaming sword, turning all ways, which guards the tree of life + for him, is purity.</p> + + <p>But thirdly, there are wider issues than the welfare, + physical and moral, of our own boys which make it impossible + for us to take up any neutral attitude on this question. We + cannot remain indifferent to that which affects so deeply both + the status and the happiness of women. We cannot accept a + standard for men which works out with the certainty of a + mathematical law a pariah class of women. We cannot leave on + one side the anguish of working-class mothers just because we + belong to the protected classes, and it is not our girls + <a name="Page_27" + id="Page_27"></a>that are sacrificed. At least, we women are + ceasing to be as base as that, and God forgive us that, from + want of thought rather than from want of heart, educated + women could be found even to hold that the degradation of + their own womanhood is a necessity!</p> + + <p>Take but one instance out of the many that crossed my <i>via + dolorosa</i> of the anguish inflicted on the mothers of the + poor. I take it, not because it is uncommon, but because it is + typical.</p> + + <p>At one of my mass meetings of working women in the North I + was told at its close that a woman wished to speak with me in + private. As soon as I could disengage myself from the crowd of + mothers who were always eager to shake hands with me, and to + bless me with tears in their eyes for taking up their cause, I + went down the room, and there, in a dimly-lighted corner of the + great hall, I found a respectable-looking woman waiting for me. + I sat down by her side, and she poured out the pent-up sorrow + of her heart before telling me the one great favor she craved + at my hands. She had an only daughter, who at the age of + sixteen she had placed out in service, at a carefully-chosen + situation. We all know what a difficult age in a girl's life is + sixteen; but our girls we can keep under our own watchful care, + and their little wilfulnesses and naughtinesses are got over + within the four walls of a loving home, and are only the thorns + that precede the perfect rose of womanhood. But the poor have + to send their girls <a name="Page_28" + id="Page_28"></a>out into the great wicked world at this age + to be bread-winners, often far away from a mother's + protecting care. The girl, however, in this case was a good, + steady girl, and for a time did well. Then something + unsettled her, and she left her first place, and got another + situation. For a time it seemed all right, when suddenly her + letters ceased. The mother wrote again and again, but got no + answer. She wrote to her former place; they knew nothing of + her. At last she saved up a little money and went to the + town where she believed her girl to be. She sought out and + found her last address. The family had gone away, and left + no address. She made inquiries of the neighbors, of the + police. Yes, they remembered the girl—a nice-looking + girl with a bright color; but no one had seen her lately. It + was as if a trap-door had opened and let her through. She + had simply disappeared. In all that crowded city her mother + could find no trace of her. "It is now thirteen years, + ma'am, since I lost her."</p> + + <p>But all through those thirteen years that poor mother had + watched and waited for her. All through those weary years, + whenever she read in the local paper of some poor girl's body + being found in the river, some poor suicide, who had leapt,</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Mad from life's history,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Swift to death's mystery,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Anywhere, anywhere, out of the + world,"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>that poor mother would get into her head it might be + <a name="Page_29" + id="Page_29"></a>her dear girl that was lying there alone + and unclaimed; and she would pay her fare—if she could + afford it—or if not, trudge the distance on foot, + creep, trembling, into the mortuary or the public-house + where the body lay, blue from drowning, or with the ugly red + gash across the throat, take one look, and then cry with a + sigh of relief, "No, it ain't my child," and return again to + her watching and waiting.</p> + + <p>"Once, ma'am," she said, "I had a dream. I saw a beautiful + place, all bright and shiny, and there were lots of angels + singing so sweet, when out of the midst of the glory came my + poor girl. She came straight to me, and said, 'Oh, mother, + don't fret; I'm safe and I'm happy!' and with those words in my + ears I awoke. That dream has been a great comfort to me, ma'am; + I feel sure God sent it to me. But oh, ma'am," she exclaimed, + with a new light of hope in her face, and clasping her hands in + silent entreaty, "the thought came into my head whilst you were + a-speakin', if you would be so kind as to ask at the end of + every one of your meetin's, 'Has anyone heard or seen anything + of a girl of the name of Sarah Smith?' As you go all about the + country, maybe I might get to hear of her that way."</p> + + <p>Ah me! the pathetic forlornness of the suggestion, the last + hope of a broken-hearted mother, that I should go all over the + three kingdoms asking my large <a name="Page_30" + id="Page_30"></a>audiences, "Have you seen or heard anything + of Sarah Smith?" And I was dumb. I had not a word of comfort + to give her. I had heard the words too often from the lips + of outcast girls in answer to my question, "Does your mother + know where you are?" "Oh, no; I couldn't bear that mother + should know about me!"—not to know what the fate of + that young girl had been. She had been trapped, or drugged, + or enticed into that dread under-world into which so many of + our working-class girls disappear and are lost. Possibly she + had been sent out of the country, and was in some foreign + den. One's best hope was that she was dead.</p> + + <p>But picture to yourselves the long-drawn anguish of that + mother, with nothing but a dream to comfort her amid the dread + realities of life. Picture her as only one of thousands and + thousands of our working-class mothers on whose poor dumb + hearts the same nameless sorrow rests like a gravestone; and I + think no woman—no mother, at least—but will agree + with me, that this is a matter from which we, as women, cannot + stand off. Even if we had not the moral and physical welfare of + our own boys to consider, we are baptized into this cause by + the tears of women, the dumb tears of the poor. But there is + one last consideration, exquisitely painful as it is, which I + cannot, I dare not, pass over, and which more than any other + has aroused the thoughtful women of England and America to face + the <a name="Page_31" + id="Page_31"></a>question and endeavor to grapple, however + imperfectly as yet, with the problem. For some strange + reason the whole weight of this evil in its last resort + comes crushing down on the shoulders of a little + child—infant Christs of the cross without the crown, + "martyrs of the pang, without the palm." The sins of their + parents are visited on them from their birth, in scrofula, + blindness, consumption. "Disease and suffering," in + Dickens's words, "preside over their birth, rock their + wretched cradles, nail down their little coffins, and fill + their unknown graves." More than one-half of the inmates of + our Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children are sent + there by vice. But would to God it were only innocent + suffering that is inflicted on the children of our land. + Alas! alas! when I first began my work, a ward in a large + London penitentiary, I found, was set apart for degraded + children! Or take that one brief appalling statement in the + record of ten years of work—1884 to 1894—issued + by a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. In + the classification of the various victims it is stated that + the society had dealt with 4460 pitiable child victims of + debauchery! Alas for our England, and the debasement which a + low moral standard for men has made possible in our midst! + And, judging by the absence of proper legal protection and + the extraordinarily low age of consent adopted by some of + the States of the Union, I fear things are not much better + in America.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_32" + id="Page_32"></a>One of our sweetest poets, Charles Tennyson + Turner, in an exquisite sonnet on a three-year-old child + being presented with a toy globe, has portrayed the + consecration of a child's innocence, bathing the world + itself in its baptismal dew:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"She patted all the world; old empires + peep'd<br /></span> <span class="i0">Between her baby + fingers; her soft hand<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Was welcome at all + frontiers."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>And when at length they turn "her sweet unlearned eye" "on + our own isle," she utters a little joyous cry:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Oh yes, I see it! Letty's home is + there!<br /></span> <span class="i0">And while she hid + all England with a kiss,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Bright over Europe fell her golden + hair."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>By the side of that exquisite picture of the beatitude of a + child's innocence place the picture of that long procession of + desecrated children, with no "sweet unlearned eye," but eyes + learned in the worst forms of human wickedness and cruelty; and + let any woman say, if she can or dare, that this is a subject + on which she is not called to have any voice and which she + prefers to let alone. Surely our womanhood has not become in + these last days such a withered and wilted thing that our ears + have grown too nice for the cry of these hapless children! As + women, we are the natural guardians of the innocence of all + children. The divine motherhood that is at the heart of every + woman worthy of the name "rises up in wrath" within us and + cries:<a name="Page_33" + id="Page_33"></a> "We <i>will</i> fulfil our trust, not only + to our own children, but to the helpless children of the + poor." The day is at hand when every mother of boys will + silently vow before God to send at least one knight of God + into the world to fight an evil before which even a child's + innocence is not sacred and which tramples under its swine's + feet the weak and the helpless.</p> + + <p>Indeed, when one reflects that this great moral problem + touches all the great trusts of our womanhood, the sanctity of + the family, the purity of the home, the sacredness of marriage, + the sweet innocence of children, it seems like some evil dream + that women can ever have asked, "Why cannot I leave this matter + to men? Why should I interfere?"</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_34" + id="Page_34"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_1_1" + id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label"> + [1]</span></a> Dr. Carpenter does not hesitate to + attribute this sharp dip in the male line of life to + the indulgence of the passions in youth, and the + subsequent rise to marriage and a more regular + life.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_2_2" + id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label"> + [2]</span></a> <i>Pendennis</i>, vol. i., p. 16.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" + id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + + <h3>FIRST PRINCIPLES</h3> + + <p>"But what can we do?" will be the next question, uttered + perhaps in the forlorn accents of a latent despair.</p> + + <p>Before answering this question in detail, I would endeavor + to impress two cardinal points upon you.</p> + + <p>The first point I want you to recognize, though it may seem + to minister to the very hopelessness which most lames and + cripples for effective action, is the depth and magnitude of + the problem we have to grapple with. All other great social + evils, with the possible exception of greed or covetousness, + which in Scripture is often classed with impurity, may be + looked upon as more or less diseases of the extremities. But + the evil which we are now considering is no disease of the + extremities, but a disease at the very heart of our life, + attacking all the great bases on which it rests. It is not only + the negation of the sanctity of the family and the destroyer of + the purity of the home, as I have already pointed out, but it + is also the derider of the sacredness of the individual, the + slow but sure disintegrator of the body politic, the dry-rot of + nations, before which the <a name="Page_35" + id="Page_35"></a>mightiest empires have crumbled into dust. + The lagoons of Venice mirror it in the departed grandeur of + her palaces, overthrown by the licentiousness of her + merchant princes. The mute sands that silt up the ruins of + old empires are eloquent of it. The most brilliant + civilization the world has even seen through it became the + most transitory. Even the vast and massive structure of the + Roman Empire, undermined by moral corruption, vanished + before barbarian hordes like the baseless fabric of a dream. + To think that we can solve a problem of this depth and + magnitude by any mere external means—as so many good + and earnest women seem to imagine—by any + multiplication of Rescue Societies, Preventive Institutions, + and other benevolent organizations—is to think that we + can plug up a volcano with sticks and straws. The remedy, + like the evil, must be from within, and must to a great + degree revolutionize our life.</p> + + <p>My second cardinal point is, that the first step we have to + take, the step which must precede all others, if anything is to + be of the least avail, must be to restore the moral law and get + rid of the double standard. I know well how much has been said + and written on this point; it has been insisted on possibly + <i>ad nauseam</i>. But even now I do not think we fully realize + how completely we have been in the grasp of a "tradition of the + elders," which has emphatically "made the law of God of none + effect." Side by side with the ethics <a name="Page_36" + id="Page_36"></a>of Christianity have grown up the bastard + ethics of society, widely divergent from the true moral + order. Man has accepted the obligation of purity so far as + it subserves his own selfish interests and enables him to be + sure of his own paternity and safeguard the laws of + inheritance. The precepts which were primarily addressed to + the man, as the very form of the Greek words demonstrate, + were tacitly transferred to the woman. When, in a standard + dictionary of the English language, I look out the word + "virtue," which etymologically means "manliness"—the + manliness which would scorn to gratify its own selfish + passions at the cost of the young, the poor, and the weak, + at the cost of a <i>woman</i>—I find one of its + meanings defined, not as male but as "female chastity." Long + ago I suggested that as manliness thus goes by default, the + word had better be changed from virtue to "muliertue."</p> + + <p>In a passage in one of our standard school-books, Green's + <i>Short History of the English People</i>, the historian, + alluding to the coarseness of the early Elizabethan drama, + remarks that "there were no female actors, and the grossness + which startles us in words which fall from a woman's lips took + a different color when every woman's part was acted by a + boy."<a name="FNanchor_3_3" + id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" + class="fnanchor">[3]</a> Why, in the name of all moral + sense, should it be less dreadful that gross and obscene + passages should be uttered at a public spectacle by young + and unformed <a name="Page_37" + id="Page_37"></a>boys than by adult women, who at least + would have the safeguard of mature knowledge and instincts + to teach them their full loathsomeness? Do we really think + that boys are born less pure than girls? Does the mother, + when her little son is born, keep the old iron-moulded + flannels, the faded basinette, the dirty feeding-bottle for + him with the passing comment, "Oh, it is only a boy!" Is + anything too white and fine and pure for his infant limbs, + and yet are we to hold that anything is good enough for his + childish soul—even, according to Mr. Green, the + grossness of the early Elizabethan stage—because he is + a boy? But I ask how many readers of that delightful history + would so much as notice this passage, and not, on the + contrary, quietly accept it without inward note or comment, + possessed as we are, often without knowing it, by our + monstrous double standard?</p> + + <p>If we want to see what is the final outcome of this moral + code, of this one-sided and distorted ethic, we have only to + turn our eyes to France. On the one hand we have "la jeune + fille" in her white Communion robe, kept so pure and ignorant + of all evil, that "une société ecclésiastique," I am told, + exists for the emendation of history for her + benefit—Divine Providence, as conducting the affairs of + men, being far too coarse for her pure gaze; and at the other + end of the stick we find Zola, and a literature intended only + for the eyes of men, of whose chastity, according + to<a name="Page_38" + id="Page_38"></a> Renan, "Nature takes no account + whatever,"—a literature which fouls with its vile + sewage the very wellsprings of our nature, and which, + whatever its artistic merit, I make bold to say is a curse + to the civilized world.</p> + + <p>Now, I earnestly protest that while we have this social + code, which is in direct violation of the moral law, we may set + on foot any number of Rescue Societies, Preventive Agencies, + Acts for the Legal Protection of the Young, etc., but all our + efforts will be in vain. We are like a man who should endeavor + to construct a perfect system of dynamics on the violation of + Newton's first law of motion. The tacitly accepted necessity + for something short of the moral law for men will—again I + say it—work out with the certainty of a mathematical law + a degraded and outcast class, with its disease, its insanity, + its foul contamination of the young, its debasement of manhood, + its disintegration of the State, its curse to the community. + You cannot dodge the moral law; as Professor Clifford said, + "There are no back-stairs to the universe" by which we can + elude the consequences of our wrong, whether of thought or + action. If you let in one evil premise by the back-door, be + sure Sin and Death will come out at the front.</p> + + <p>Here, then, you must take a firm and watchful stand. As the + mothers of the future generation of men, you must look upon it + as your divinely-appointed task to <a name="Page_39" + id="Page_39"></a>bring back the moral law in its entirety, + the one standard equally binding on men and women alike. + Whatever your creed, you have got to hold fast to this great + truth, which life itself forces upon you, and which is a + truth of Christian ethics because first of all it is a truth + of life. It is simply a moral Q.E.D., that if chastity is a + law for women—and no man would deny that—it is a + law for every woman without exception; and if it is a law + for every woman, it follows necessarily that it must be for + every man, unless we are going to indulge in the moral + turpitude of accepting a pariah class of women made up of + other women's daughters and other women's sisters—not + our own, God forbid that they should be our own!—set + apart for the vices of men.</p> + + <p>But perhaps, looking at our complicated civilization, which, + at least in the upper classes, involves, as a rule, the + deferring of marriage—looking at the strength of the + passions which generations of indulgence have evolved beyond + their natural limits, some women will feel constrained to ask, + "Is this standard a possible one? Can men keep their health and + strength as celibates? Is not my husband right when he says + that this is a subject we women can know nothing about, and + that here we must bow to the judgment of men?"</p> + + <p>I answer that a mother must know by what standard she is to + educate her boy, and therefore must have the data supplied to + her on which to form her own judgment, and be fully persuaded + in her own mind what <a name="Page_40" + id="Page_40"></a>she is to aim at in the training she is to + give him; and the mere fact that the current judgment of men + involves the sacrifice in body and soul of a large class of + our fellow-women lays a paramount obligation upon all women + to search for themselves into the truth and scientific + accuracy of the premises on which that judgment is + based.</p> + + <p>"Can men keep their health and strength as celibates till + such time as they have the means to marry?" is the question we + have, then, to face. Is the standard of the moral law possible + to men who have to maintain a high level of physical efficiency + in the sharp competition of modern life?</p> + + <p>Primarily, the answer to this question must come from the + acknowledged heads of the medical profession. Now, I am + thankful to say, we have in England a consensus of opinion from + the representative men of the faculty that no one can gainsay. + Sir James Paget, Acton in his great text-book, Sir Andrew + Clark, Sir George Humphrey, of Cambridge, Professor Millar, of + the Edinburgh University, Sir William Gowers, F.R.S., have all + answered the above question in the strongest affirmative. + "Chastity does no harm to body or mind; its discipline is + excellent; marriage may safely be waited for," are Sir James + Paget's terse and emphatic words<a name="FNanchor_4_4" + id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" + class="fnanchor">[4]</a>. Still more emphatic are the words + of Sir William Gowers, the great men's specialist, who + <a name="Page_41" + id="Page_41"></a>counts as an authority on the Continent as + well as here:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"The opinions which on grounds falsely called + 'physiological' suggest or permit unchastity are terribly + prevalent among young men, but they are absolutely false. + With all the force of any knowledge I possess, and any + authority I have, I assert that this belief is contrary to + fact; I assert that no man ever yet was in the slightest + degree or way the worse for continence or better for + incontinence. From incontinence during unmarried life all + are worse morally; a clear majority, are, in the end, worse + physically; and in no small number the result is, and ever + will be, utter physical shipwreck on one of the many rocks, + sharp, jagged-edged, which beset the way, or on one of the + banks of festering slime which no care can possibly avoid. + They are rocks which tear and rend the unhappy being who is + driven against them when he has yielded to the tide of + passion, they are banks which exhale a poison for which, no + true antidote exists."</p> + </div> + + <p>In face of such testimony as this, well might Mr. George + Russell, in an address to young men, speak of "this exploded + lie which has hitherto led so many astray."</p> + + <p>Turning now from knowledge to fact, we have only to look at + the French clergy to see that even in the extreme case of + life-long celibacy it is not injurious to health. I know, in + taking this case, I am grating somewhat harshly against + Protestant prejudice. But the testimony that Renan bears on + this point is irrefutable. Himself a renegade priest, he + certainly would not have hesitated to expose the Order to which + he had once belonged, and vindicate his broken vows by the + revelation of any moral rottenness known within the + <a name="Page_42" + id="Page_42"></a>walls of its seminaries. Far from this, he + bears the most emphatic testimony in his autobiography that + there is enough virtue in St. Sulpice alone to convert the + world; and owns so strong was the impress made on his own + soul by his training as a priest that personally he had + lived a pure life, "although," he adds, with an easy shrug + of his shoulders, "it is very possible that the libertine + has the best of it!" Another renegade priest, also eminent + in literature, bears exactly the same testimony. Indeed, + when we remember the argus-eyed hatred with which the French + priesthood is watched by the anti-clerical party, and the + few scandals that appear in the public prints only too + anxious to give publicity to them, this unimpeachable + testimony is borne out by fact. I believe this testimony to + be equally true of the English and Irish Roman Catholic + clergy. Yet few would dispute the vigor of the physique of + the Roman Catholic priests, or their capacity for hard and + often exhausting work.</p> + + <p>Let me, however, guard myself from misapprehension. That a + celibate life, combined with rich feeding, French novels, and + low thinking, does produce a great deal of physical harm goes + almost without saying. Nature, like her Lord, requires truth in + the inward parts, and takes but small care of outward + respectabilities that are but the whitewashed graves of inward + foulness. Surely Lowell is right when he says, "I hold + unchastity of mind to be worse than that of + body."<a name="Page_43" + id="Page_43"></a> To live the unmarried life one must, of + course, fulfil its conditions of plain living and clean + thinking.</p> + + <p>It is almost with a feeling of shame that I have dwelt at + some length on the point we have been considering; but all + through my ten years of work the sunken rock on which I was + always making shipwreck was the necessity of the + evil—often openly avowed by men, but haunting even the + minds of women like a shadow—a shadow which gained + solidity and substance from a sense of their helpless + ignorance. I have even met with Christian women who have + serenely averred to my face that they have been told, on + authority that they could not question, that, were it not for + the existence of an outcast class, no respectable woman would + be safe and we could not insure the purity of the home! So low + had the moral consciousness fallen, through ignorance and + thoughtless acceptance of the masculine code, that women + calling themselves Christians could be found who seemed wholly + unconscious of the deep inner debasement of accepting the + degradation of other women as a safeguard to our own virtue and + of basing the purity of the Christian home on the ruined bodies + and souls of the children of the poor. Truly the dark places of + the world within, as well as of the world without, are full of + cruelty!</p> + + <p>What can I do, in the face of such an experience as this, + but humbly and earnestly beseech the women of England and + America not to play fast and loose with <a name="Page_44" + id="Page_44"></a>the moral sense within them—- which + is God's voice within us—but to hold fast to the moral + law, one, equal, and indivisible, for men and women alike; + and to know and feel sure that, whatever else is bound up + with the nature of man or with an advancing civilization, + the hopeless degradation of woman is not that something. It + is God who has made us—not we ourselves, with our + false codes, false notions, and false necessities; and God + has made the man to love the woman and give himself for her, + not to degrade her and destroy the very function for which + she was made the blessed "mother of all living."</p> + + <p>Only be sure of this: that men will rise to the level of any + standard that we set them. For the present standard of what + Sainte Beuve calls "l'homme sensuel moyen," which we have + accepted and tacitly endorsed, we women are largely to blame. + In my conferences with the clergy and earnest laity held in all + our large towns it was always this that men spoke of as the + greatest stumbling-block in their way. With the utmost + bitterness they would urge that men of known fast life were + admitted into society, that women seemed to prefer them rather + than not; and it seemed to make no difference to them what kind + of life a man led—whether he reverenced their womanhood + or not. How could I deny this bitter accusation in the face of + facts? All I could urge in extenuation was that I believed it + was due rather to the ignorance than to the indifference + <a name="Page_45" + id="Page_45"></a>of women, owing to the whole of this dark + side of life having been carefully veiled from their view; + but now that this ignorance was passing away, I was only one + of hundreds of women who ask nothing better than to lay down + their lives in the cause of their own womanhood. Only when + women learn to respect themselves; only when no woman worthy + the name will receive into her own drawing-room in friendly + intercourse with her own girls the man who has done his best + to make her womanhood a vile and desecrated thing; only when + no mother worthy the name will, for the sake of wealth or + position,—what is called "a good match,"—give + her pure girl to a man on the very common conditions, as + things have been, that some other ten or twenty young + girls—some poor mothers' daughters—have been + degraded and cast aside into the gutter, that she, the + twenty-first in this honorable harem, may be held in + apparent honor as a wife; only when no woman worthy the name + will marry under the conditions portrayed by our great + novelist, George Eliot,—that of another woman being + basely forsaken for her sake—then, and then only, will + this reproach that men level at us drop off; then, and then + only, shall we be able to save our own sons and bring in a + better and purer state of things, enabling them to fight the + battle of their life at less tremendous odds; then, and then + only, shall we be able to evolve the true manhood, whose + attitude is not to defile and destroy, but "to look up and + to lift up."</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_46" + id="Page_46"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_3_3" + id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label"> + [3]</span></a> <i>Short History of the English + People</i>, by J.R. Green, p. 247.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_4_4" + id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label"> + [4]</span></a> See a little White Cross paper entitled, + <i>Medical Testimony</i>.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" + id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + + <h3>THE SECRET AND METHOD</h3> + + <p>There is a simile of Herbert Spencer's, in his book on + Sociology, which has often helped me in dealing with great + moral problems. He says:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"You see that wrought-iron plate is not quite flat; it + sticks up a little here towards the left, 'cockles,' as we + say. How shall we flatten it? Obviously, you reply, by + hitting down on the part that is prominent. Well, here is a + hammer, and I give the plate a blow as you advise. Harder, + you say. Still no effect. Another stroke. Well, there is + one, and another, and another. The prominence remains, you + see; the evil is as great as ever, greater, indeed. But + this is not all. Look at the warp which the plate has got + near the opposite edge. Where it was flat before it is now + curved. A pretty bungle we have made of it! Instead of + curing the original defect, we have produced a second. Had + we asked an artisan practised in 'planishing,' as it is + called, he would have told us that no good was to be done, + but only mischief, by hitting down on the projecting part. + He would have taught us how to give variously directed and + specially adjusted blows with a hammer elsewhere, so + attacking the evil not by direct but by indirect actions. + The required process is less simple than you thought. Even + a sheet of metal is not to be successfully dealt with after + those common-sense methods in which you have so much + confidence. 'Do you think I am easier to be played on than + a pipe?' asked Hamlet. Is humanity more readily + straightened than an iron plate?"<a name="FNanchor_5_5" + id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" + class="fnanchor">[5]</a></p> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_47" + id="Page_47"></a>Now, in our moral "planishing" we need to + know where and how to direct our blows, lest in endeavoring + to lessen the evil we not only increase the evil itself, but + produce other evils almost as great as the one we intended + to cure. The mistake that we commit—and this is, I + think, especially true of us women—is to rush at our + moral problems without giving a moment's thought to their + causes, which often lie deep hidden in human nature. Our + great naturalist, Darwin, gave eight years' study to our + lowly brother, the barnacle; he gave an almost equal amount + of time to the study of the earthworm and its functions, + revealing to us, in one of his most charming books, how much + of our golden harvest, of our pastures, and our jewelled + garden-beds, we owe to this silent and patient laborer. Yet + we think that we can deal with our higher and more complex + human nature without giving it any study at all. We hit down + directly on its moral inequalities, without giving a thought + to what has caused the imperfection, when constantly, as in + the sheet of metal which has to be straightened, the moral + disorder has to be met, not directly, but + indirectly—not at the point of the disorder itself, + but of its often unsuspected cause. Purity, like health, + like happiness, like so many of the higher aims of our life, + has to be attained altruistically. Seek them too directly, + and they elude our grasp. Like the oarsman, we have often to + turn our back upon our destination in order to arrive at our + end.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_48" + id="Page_48"></a>Do not, therefore, think impatiently that I + am putting you off with vague theories when you want + practical suggestions, if I ask you first to give some + patient thought to the causes of the disorder which seems to + mark the side of our human nature on which the very + existence of the race depends, and which cannot, therefore, + be evil in itself. To me the problem presented was almost + paralyzing. It seemed as if Nature, in her anxiety to secure + the continuance of the species, had taken no account + whatever of the moral law, but had so overloaded the + strength of passion as not only to secure the defeat of the + moral law, but even of her own ends, by producing the + sterility which results from vicious indulgence. It was not + till I met with two wonderful sermons on "The Kingdom of + God," by that great master of "divine philosophy," Dr. James + Martineau, that I first got a clue to the moral difficulty + and to that fuller understanding of our human nature which + is so essential to all who have the training and moulding of + the young. And, therefore, I ask you to let me enter at some + length into this teaching, which will not only give us light + for our own guidance, but enable us to grasp the right + principles on which we have to act in the moral training of + the coming generation.<a name="FNanchor_6_6" + id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" + class="fnanchor">[6]</a></p> + + <p><a name="Page_49" + id="Page_49"></a>Now, in trying to think out the laws of our + own being, we are met at the very outset by the great crux + in the moral world: What is the true relation of the + material to the spiritual,—of the body, with its + instincts and appetites, to the moral personality, with its + conscience and will? On the one hand, seeing the fatal + proneness of man to obey his appetites and run into terrible + excesses, ascetics in all ages and of all creeds have taught + that the body itself is evil and the seat of sin; that its + instincts must be crushed and its appetites repressed and + eradicated; and that it is only so far as you trample your + animal nature under foot that you can rise to be a saint. + "Brute," "blind," "dead," have been the epithets bestowed on + matter, which is a ceaseless play of living forces that rest + not day nor night. To look down on the material pleasures + with suspicion, to fly contact with the rude world and lose + one's self in the unembodied splendors of the spiritual, to + save souls rather than men and women, to preach abstract + doctrines rather than grapple with hideous concrete + problems—this has been the tendency of the religious + spirit in all ages, a tendency of which positive asceticism, + with its mortification of the body, and its ideal of + virginity, and marriage regarded as more or less a + concession to the flesh, is only an exaggeration.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_50" + id="Page_50"></a>On the other hand, in disgust at the + mutilation of human nature and under pretext of its + consummation, has arisen the "fleshly school," whose maxim + is "obedience to Nature,"—leaving undefined what + nature, the nature of the swine or the nature of the + man,—which holds that every natural instinct ought to + be obeyed, which takes the agreeable as the test of the + right, and which goes in for the "healthy animal" with + enlightened self-interest as the safeguard against + excesses.</p> + + <p>Alas! the results are no happier. The healthy animal treads + under his feet the helpless and the weak, who suffer that he + may grow fat and kick. The attractive warmth and color and + richness are found to be but rottenness and decay.</p> + + <p>When, dissatisfied with the teaching of men, one turns to + the great world at large, to see whether some practical + instinct may not have guided men to a right adjustment, one's + first feeling is one of dismay at the spectacle presented. The + bodily instincts and appetites that seem to work aright in the + animal world, in man seem fatally overloaded, and, instead of + hitting the mark, explode with disaster and death at the + outset.</p> + + <p>Let us now turn to the teaching of Christ, and see whether + it does not explain the deep disorder of the animal instincts + in the world of man, and while saving us on the one hand from + the self-mutilation of <a name="Page_51" + id="Page_51"></a>asceticism, and from the swinishness of the + fleshly school on the other, whether it does not embrace the + truth that is in both and teach us how to correlate the + material and the spiritual.</p> + + <p>Now, Dr. Martineau points out that Christ teaches, in + contradistinction to asceticism, that the animal body, with its + instincts and appetites, is as good on its own plane as the + higher and spiritual attributes of man are on theirs. Our + Father knoweth that, in common with other creatures, we have + need of physical good, and He has provided us with a + self-acting mechanism for its attainment, which will work + rightly if only it is left alone and not tampered with. There + is the same provision in us as in them of unconscious instincts + and appetites for carrying on the lower life which is necessary + as the platform of the higher spiritual being, to set it free, + as it were, for the pursuit of its legitimate ends—all + those higher and wider interests in life which are comprised + under the one comprehensive name of "the kingdom of God." And + the teaching of Christ is: Neither hate nor fear this part of + your nature with the ascetic, nor pamper and stimulate it with + the Hedonist, but let it alone to act on its own plane; trust + it, trust God who made it, while you throw all your conscious + energies into the higher concerns of life; and you will find, + when left to its own unconscious activity, it is neither an + over-nor an under-provision for carrying on your subsistence + and that of the <a name="Page_52" + id="Page_52"></a>race. "Take no anxious thought (μη + μεριμνήσητε) + for the morrow." "Your Father knoweth that ye have need of + these things," and has arranged your being accordingly. + "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things + shall be added to you." "Behold the birds of the air; your + heavenly Father feedeth them."</p> + + <p>"Oh," says the practical man at once, "that is all very fine + as sentiment; it is very Eastern and poetical; but I should + like to know how, in these overcrowded days, I could support + myself and family if I am to trust God to feed me and them like + the birds of the air, and only think about religion." But is + not this wholly to misunderstand our Lord's teaching? How does + God feed the birds of the air? Is it not by incessant and + untiring effort on their part? Those who have watched a pair of + birds flying backwards and forwards to the nest under the eave + may well question whether industry can go further. But in the + unconscious being of a bird it is toil without + μεριμνα, without thought and + worry, and becomes, therefore, the very picture to us of trust + in a higher Power, who has thus adjusted an unerring instinct + to an unfailing end. The insect and the bird provide for the + morrow, while they take no anxious thought for the morrow. "The + agility which achieves it is theirs, the skill and foresight + absent from them remain with God. And thus the simple life of + lower natures, in its unconscious surrender to + <a name="Page_53" + id="Page_53"></a>involuntary though internal guidance, + becomes the negative type of perfect + trust."<a name="FNanchor_7_7" + id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" + class="fnanchor">[7]</a></p> + + <p>But to leave his instincts and appetites to work, unimpeded + and unconscious, on their own plane, while he concerns himself + with matters of truly human interest, is just what man is not + content to do. On the contrary, he takes his higher and + spiritual nature down into them. He enhances their pleasure + with all the powers of his imagination; he sets his intellect + to work to plot and plan for their gratification; he loads them + with the whole force of his spiritual will, and in so doing he + overloads and maddens them. The instinct for food and drink, + which in the animal is sufficient for the maintenance of health + and activity, in the man becomes gluttony and drunkenness; the + instinct for the preservation of the race becomes the + licentiousness which produces sterility and defeats its own + ends; the instinct of self-maintenance becomes the feverish + greed and money-getting which leave no room for the higher life + of beauty, and science, and worship, and disinterested service. + "Seek ye first the material," says the world, "and all these + things shall be added unto you when you get the time for + them"—which will be probably never.</p> + + <p>Now, then, do we not begin to see why the animal instincts + and appetites, which make for order and happiness, and fufil + their end in the animal world, lead to <a name="Page_54" + id="Page_54"></a>such intolerable disorder in the world of + man? Their laws, like all other laws in the Divine economy, + are holy and just and good; but man by not observing their + conditions makes them work evil and death. Do you not see + that to be a healthy animal is just what man cannot be + except by being a true and high-minded man, all his + conscious energies taken up and absorbed on a higher plane, + with none left over to filter down into and disorder the + animal instincts, which only work aright when left to their + own unconscious activity? Fix your consciousness long enough + on the tip of your little finger, and you will feel a + pricking sensation in it. The mind directed intently to any + part of the frame will produce a flow of blood there. Any + physician will tell you that this is one of the greatest + difficulties he has to contend with in his patients; the + mind being steadily directed to some disordered spot + increases the congestion which is the result of disease.</p> + + <p>Unconsciousness, therefore, is the very channel in which our + animal nature works healthily and undisturbed according to its + own laws. But you are a self-conscious being, and not as the + animals. God keeps the keys of their nature in His own hands. + They are shut up to certain ends which are in His purpose + rather than in their minds. They are locked within limits of + their nature, which are absolute, and cannot, therefore, be + transgressed. But man, in virtue of his self-consciousness, is + emphatically "he who hath the keys, <a name="Page_55" + id="Page_55"></a>who openeth and no man shutteth, and who + shutteth and no man openeth." All the secret recesses of + your being lie open to you, and no man can close it to your + vision. You can voluntarily shut the door of salvation and + hamper the lock, and no man can open. A limit is no absolute + limit to you because your very consciousness of the limit + involves your consciousness of the beyond which makes it a + limit. And therefore to you as a self-knowing existence, + with your being necessarily surrendered into your own hands, + two faculties have been given as a substitute for the + unconscious necessity of an animal nature: First, a + self-judging faculty which we call conscience, or a power of + discerning between a lower and a higher, and a sense of + obligation to the higher which enables you to correlate your + faculties and functions in their true order of relative + excellence; and secondly, a spiritual will, capable of + carrying the decisions of conscience into practical + execution and attaining to a necessity of moral law. The + true function of man's will is not, therefore, to add itself + on to any one of his instincts and give it a disordered + strength, but, while throwing its chief conscious energies + into the higher interests of life, to rule his instincts and + appetites according to those higher interests. This, when + the condition of that infinitely complex thing, modern + civilized life, interferes, as at times it must do, with the + legitimate exercise of his instincts, and his good has to be + <a name="Page_56" + id="Page_56"></a>subordinated to the good of the greater + number, may occasionally involve a hard struggle, even when + the instincts have been left to their own healthy natural + play; but at least it will be all the difference between a + struggle with a spirited animal and a maddened and + infuriated brute.</p> + + <p>"But," asks Dr. Martineau, "if the animal instincts and + appetites are to be directed by conscience and ruled by the + will in accordance with the dictates of conscience, what + becomes of the unconsciousness which is necessary for their + right action? Its place is gradually supplied by habit, which + is the unconsciousness of a self-conscious being." The habit of + plain living and spare food, so necessary to high thinking, at + first acquired possibly by real effort of will, by real fasting + and prayer, becomes a second nature, that sets the will free + for higher conquests. The habit of purity, which at first may + have resulted only from a sleepless watch of the will in + directing the thoughts and imagination into safe channels, + becomes an instinctive recoil from the least touch of + defilement. The habit of unworldly simplicity, which may have + had to be induced by deliberate self-denial, becomes a natural + disposition which rejects superfluities from unconscious + choice.</p> + + <p>This is what takes place where direct conflict is + necessitated by the constant readjustment of the individual, + with his instincts and appetites, to his social environment + which so complex a state of society as that <a name="Page_57" + id="Page_57"></a>of modern civilization involves. But under + ordinary circumstances, where the teaching of Christ is + observed and all the conscious energies of the man are + absorbed in seeking first the kingdom of God, there the need + of conflict on the lower plane is at least partially done + away with. The whole current of thought and will, flowing + into higher channels, is drained away from the lower + instincts and appetites, which are thus restored to their + natural unconsciousness, with only an occasional + interference on the part of the will to subordinate them to + human ends and aims, or to those demands of a high and + complex civilization in the benefits of which we all share, + but for whose fuller and richer life we have in some + directions to pay, and perhaps at times to pay heavily. The + scientific man who in his passionate devotion to the search + after truth—the kingdom of God as revealed in the + order of the universe—exclaimed testily that he had no + time to waste in making money, had no conflict with the + instinct of self-subsistence maddened into greed. It worked + out a sufficient quotient of bread and cheese to insure the + healthy exercise of his brain, and that was enough. The + Alpine climber, intent on mastering a printless snow-peak, + has not to control an appetite sharpened by mountain air + from sinking into the gluttony which would be fatal to the + cool head and steady foot necessary for his enterprise. The + man who has a noble passion for the weak and defenceless, + who from the first has cultivated a <a name="Page_58" + id="Page_58"></a>chivalrous loyalty to women, putting far + from him the lowering talk, the cynical expression, the + moral lassitude of society, and guarding his high enthusiasm + from the blight of worldly commonplace, has no need to fight + against the lower instinct that would degrade them or wrong + the weak and defenceless. The conflict is there, but it is + removed to a nobler and higher battle-field, a battle + against the sacrifice of the weak by the strong, whilst in + him the lower life may be left to settle itself, as in the + unconscious birds of the air. "Love God," as St. Augustine + said, "and do what you will." "Be a child of the water, and + you may be a child of the wind, blowing where it listeth." + "Seek the kingdom of God first, and all these things shall + be added to you."</p> + + <p>This, then, is the first great practical lesson that we + learn from the study of the laws of our human nature, taken in + their widest aspect, under the teaching of the Divine Master, + the "open secret" of overcoming in man and woman alike, that + which restores to us our whole nature, and vindicates it, even + in the depths of disorder into which it has practically fallen, + as originally bearing the Divine stamp. The more unconscious we + are in the pursuit of physical good, the better for the ends of + life; the more conscious we are in the pursuit of moral and + spiritual good, the nearer we are to that kingdom of + righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost which we + seek. Get out of the narrow <a name="Page_59" + id="Page_59"></a>individualism or atomism—for let us + never forget that individual and atom are the same + word—which threatens to dwarf and pulverize us, which + keeps within our view only the narrow range of our own + interests and defeats their true pursuit by the very + intensity of attention it concentrates upon them; and live, + as Goethe says, "in the beautiful, the good, and the whole," + the kingdom of the Eternal. Have the higher passion that + casts out the lower. The physician whose conscious aim is + the relief of human suffering and the enforcement of the + laws of health, even though a large professional income may + be added to him; the lawyer who regards himself as the + minister of the Just One to uphold the law of right and + equity, whose reputation does not rest on his skill in + getting off a fraudulent company without costs, and who + makes his money not by his "practices," but by his honest + practice; the man of science who reverently devotes himself, + as the servant of the truth, to "think God's thoughts after + Him," in the words of Kepler's prayer, and establish the + kingdom of law and order, in the humbleness of conscious + limitation which forbids dogmatizing; the artist who is true + to his art and does not subordinate the laws of the eternal + Loveliness to the shifting laws of the temporary market; the + capitalist who looks upon himself as the steward of the + public good, and to whom material gain is the means and not + the end; the workman who does good work for the kingdom of + God's sake, knowing <a name="Page_60" + id="Page_60"></a>that every stroke of good work is a brick + in the palace of the great King, and who scorns to scamp + because it pays; and, generally speaking, every man who is + so intent on helping and serving others that his thoughts + are taken off himself and centred on another—these are + the men who are seeking first a kingdom of God, wherein + dwelleth righteousness; these are the men who, living in the + higher life can rule the lower—the men whose feet are + in the lilies, and to whom the floods of earthly passion, + even when they beat hardest, end in the flight of a dove and + in a triumphal arch of light.</p> + + <p>Now, you will see at once the intensely practical bearing of + this teaching on the training of your boys. You are not called + to hit down directly on the evil, to give warnings against + vice, or to speak on things which your womanhood unspeakably + shrinks from mentioning. What you are called to do is to + secure, so far as you can, that the mind and soul moves on its + own proper plane. It is more an attitude you have to form than + a warning you have to give. And here it is that the imperative + need of high positive teaching comes in. Till parents, and + especially mothers, recognize their God-given functions as the + moral teachers of their own children, till they cease to shunt + off their responsibilities on the professional shoulders of the + schoolmaster, we had better frankly give up the whole question + in despair. Strange and sad it seems to me that at the end of + the nineteenth century after the coming of our<a name="Page_61" + id="Page_61"></a> Lord I should have to plead that the moral + law is possible under every condition to any man, and that + parents are <i>ipso facto</i> the moral teachers of their + own children. And yet it is the denial, tacit or explicit, + of these two primary truths that has been the greatest + obstacle to the progress of my work.</p> + + <p>But I appeal to you: Who but a mother can bring such a + constant and potent influence to bear as to secure the mind and + character moving on its own higher plane in relation to the + whole of this side of our nature? Who so well as a mother can + teach the sacredness of the body as the temple of the Eternal? + Who else can implant in her son that habitual reverence for + womanhood which to a man is "as fountains of sweet water in the + bitter sea" of life? Who like a mother, as he grows to years of + sense and observation, and the curiosity is kindled, which is + only a cry for light and teaching, can so answer the cry and so + teach as to make the mysteries of life and truth to be for ever + associated for him with all the sacred associations of home and + his own mother, and not with the talk of the groom or the + dirty-minded schoolboy? Who so well as a mother, as he passes + into dawning manhood, can plead faithfulness to the future wife + before marriage as well as after? Nay, as I hold by the old + Spanish proverb "An ounce of mother is worth a pound of + clergy," who like a mother, by her prayers and ever-present + example and influence, can lead him to the Highest, and + <a name="Page_62" + id="Page_62"></a>impress upon him that his life is given him + for no lower end than, in the words of the Westminster + Confession, "to know God and to glorify Him for ever"; and + that therefore he is made on a very high plan—as + Browning puts it, "Heaven's consummate cup," whose end is to + slake "the Master's thirst"; and that the cup from which He + drinks must be clean inside as well as out, and studded + within and without with the pearl of purity?</p> + + <p>But refuse to give him this higher teaching and training; go + on, as so many mothers have done, blankly ignoring the whole + subject, because it is so difficult to speak to one's + boys,—as if everything worth having in this life were not + difficult!—leave him to the teaching of dirty gossip, of + unclean classical allusions in his school-books, of scraps of + newspaper intelligence, possibly of bad companions whom he may + pick up at school or business, and be sure of it, as this side + of his nature is awakened—in his search after gratified + curiosity or pleasurable sensation, in utter ignorance of what + he is doing, through your fault, not through his—he will + use his imagination and his will to strengthen the animal + instincts. What ought to have been kept on a higher plane of + being will be used to stimulate functions just coming into + existence, and pre-eminently needing to be let alone on their + own plane to mature quietly and unconsciously. Thus dwelt upon + and stimulated, these functions become in a measure + <a name="Page_63" + id="Page_63"></a>disordered and a source of miserable + temptation and difficulty, even if no actual wrong-doing + results. If you only knew what those struggles are, if you + only knew what miserable chains are forged in utter helpless + ignorance, you would not let any sense of difficulty or + shrinking timidity make you refuse to give your boy the + higher teaching which would have saved him.</p> + + <p>It is told of the beautiful Countess of Dufferin, by her son + and biographer, Lord Dufferin, that when the surgeons were + consulting round her bedside which they should save—the + mother or the child—she exclaimed, "Oh, never mind me; + save my baby!" If you knew the facts as I know them, I am quite + sure you would exclaim, in the face of any difficulties, any + natural shrinking on your part, "Oh, never mind me, let me save + my boys!"</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_64" + id="Page_64"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_5_5" + id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label"> + [5]</span></a> <i>The Study of Sociology</i>, by + Herbert Spencer (International Scientific Series), p. + 270, fifth edition, 1876.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_6_6" + id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label"> + [6]</span></a> I quote here at some length from a White + Cross paper called <i>Per Augusta ad Augusta</i>, in + which I summarized and applied Dr. Martineau's + teaching, as I do not think I can do it more clearly or + in more condensed form. By some mistake it came out, + not under my name, but under the initials of the writer + of <i>True Manliness</i> and several others of the + White Cross Series. I only mention the mistake now to + safeguard my own intellectual honesty.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_7_7" + id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label"> + [7]</span></a> <i>Hours of Thought</i>, by Dr. + Martineau, vol. i., p. 35, third edition.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" + id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + + <h3>EARLY BOYHOOD</h3> + + <p>Having now laid down the general principles which we have to + recognize in the moral training of the young, let me endeavor + to make some practical suggestions how these principles may be + carried out, suggestions which, as a matter of fact, I have + found to be helpful to educated mothers in the great and + responsible task of training the men of the future + generation.</p> + + <p>All I would earnestly ask you to remember is, that in + offering these suggestions I am in no way venturing to dictate + to you, only endeavoring to place a wide experience at your + service. Doubtless you will often modify and, in some cases, + very possibly reverse my conclusions. All I ask is that you + should weigh them thoughtfully and prayerfully and with an open + and unprejudiced mind before you finally reject them.</p> + + <p>Let us, therefore, begin with the nursery. It is in the + nursery that the roots of the evil we have to contend with are + often first planted, and this in more senses than one. In the + more obvious sense all experienced mothers know what I mean. + But I am quite <a name="Page_65" + id="Page_65"></a>sure that there are a large number of young + wives who become mothers without the smallest knowledge of + the dangers to which even infant boys may be exposed. This + ignorance is painfully shown by the frequent application for + nursemaids from our penitentiaries. At one house where I + held a small meeting my young hostess, an intelligent + literary woman, came into my room after the household had + retired to rest to ask me about some curious actions which + she had noticed in her baby boy at night. There could not be + a doubt or a question that her nurse was corrupting her + little child before that hapless young mother's eyes, and + forming in him habits which could only lead to misery + hereafter, and only too possibly to idiocy and death; and + that young mother was too ignorant to save her own baby boy! + Indeed, I know of no greater instance of the cruelty of "the + conspiracy of silence" than the fact that in all the + orthodox medical manuals for young mothers the necessary + knowledge is withheld.<a name="FNanchor_8_8" + id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" + class="fnanchor">[8]</a> But more marvellous still is the + fact that women should ever have placidly consented to an + ignorance which makes it impossible for them to save even + baby boys from a corrupt nursemaid, who by some evil chance + may have found her way into their service through a false + character or under some other specious disguise, not seeing + at once that the so-called delicacy <a name="Page_66" + id="Page_66"></a>which shrinks from knowing everything that + is necessary in order to save is not purity but + prurience.</p> + + <p>I would, therefore, beseech young mothers who are conscious + of their own ignorance to see a lady doctor, if they do not + like to consult their own family physician, and ask her to tell + them plainly what they have to guard against and the best + methods to pursue. All I can say here is to beseech every + mother to be absolutely careful about the antecedents of her + nursemaids, and only to admit those of unblemished character + into the precincts of the nursery. Never, if possible, let your + baby boy sleep with any one but yourself, if through illness or + any other cause he cannot sleep in his own little cot. Pyjamas, + I think, are generally recognized now to be the best form of + night gear, as keeping the little limbs warm and covered, when + in the restlessness of sleep the child throws off the + bedclothes, as well as for other and more vital reasons. If + through straitened means you cannot afford an experienced + nurse—not that I should altogether allow that even the + experienced nurse is to be implicitly and blindly trusted until + she has been well tested—then I would entreat you not to + let sleepiness or ill health or any other excuse prevent you + from being always present at your boy's morning bath. Often and + often evil habits arise from imperfect washing and consequent + irritation; and many a wise mother thinks it best on this + account to revert to the old Jewish rite of initiation by which + <a name="Page_67" + id="Page_67"></a>cleanliness was secured. Teach them from + the first self-reverence in touch, as in word and deed, and + watch even their attitudes in sleep, that the little arms + are folded lightly upwards. Even experienced nurses are not + always nice in their ways. Be vigilantly watchful that the + utmost niceness is observed between the boys and girls in + the nursery, and that childish modesty is never broken down, + but, on the contrary, nurtured and trained. Knowledge and + watchfulness are the two cherubim with the flaming sword + turning all ways to guard the young tree of life and bar the + way of every low and creeping thing. If I may venture in + some sort to reverse our Lord's words, I should say His word + to all mothers is, "What I say unto all I say especially + unto you, <i>Watch</i>."</p> + + <p>But there is another and a deeper sense in which the root of + the evil is first planted and nourished in the nursery. If we + are to contend with this deadly peril to soul and body, I + cannot but feel that we must bring about a radical change in + the training of our boys. There must be some radical defect in + that training for men to take the attitude they do. I do not + mean bad, dissipated men, but men who in all other relations of + life would be designated fairly good men. Once let such a man + be persuaded—however wrongly—that his health, or + his prospect of having some day a family of his own, will + suffer from delayed marriage and he considers the question + settled. He will sacrifice his health <a name="Page_68" + id="Page_68"></a>to over-smoking, to excess in athletics, to + over-eating or champagne drinking, to late hours and + overwork; but to sacrifice health or future happiness to + save a woman from degradation, bah! it never so much as + enters his mind. Even so high-minded a writer as Mr. Lecky, + in his <i>History of European + Morals</i>,<a name="FNanchor_9_9" + id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" + class="fnanchor">[9]</a> deliberately proposes that the + difficulty of deferred marriage which advanced civilization + necessitates, at least for the upper classes, should be met + by temporary unions being permitted with a woman of a lower + class. The daughters of workingmen, according to this + writer, are good enough as fleshly stop-gaps, to be flung + aside when a sufficient income makes the true wife + possible—an honorable proceeding indeed! to say + nothing of the children of such a temporary union, to whom + the father can perform no duty, and leave no inheritance, + save the inestimable one of a mother with a tainted name. + Verily there must be some fault in our training of men! + Certainly an intelligent American mother put her finger on + the blot, so far as we are concerned, when, speaking to me + many years ago, she said what struck her so in our English + homes was the way in which the girls were subordinated to + the boys; the boys seemed first considered, the girls in + comparison were nowhere. Doubtless our English homes are + more at fault here than in America; but, as a mother's pride + in her boys is the same all over the world, may not even + American <a name="Page_69" + id="Page_69"></a>homes admit of a little improvement in this + respect as well? And, if we choose to bring up our boys to + look upon their mothers and sisters as more or less the + devoted slaves of their selfishness, can we wonder that they + should grow up to look upon all women as more or less the + slaves of their needs, fleshly or otherwise?</p> + + <p>Now, what I want all boys taught from their earliest years + is, roughly speaking, that boys came into the world to take + care of girls. Whatever modification may take place in our view + of the relation of the sexes, Nature's great fact will remain, + that the man is the stronger—a difference which + civilization and culture seem to strengthen rather than + diminish; and from his earliest years he ought to be taught + that he, therefore, is the one that has to serve. It is the + strong that have to bear the burden of the weaker, and not to + prostitute that strength by using it to master the weaker into + bearing their loads. It is the man who has to give himself for + the woman, not the other way on, as we have made it. Nay, this + is no theory of mine; it is a truth implanted in the very heart + of every true man. "Every true man," as Milton says, "is born a + knight," diligently as we endeavor to stub up this royal root, + constantly, as from the very nursery, we endeavor to train it + out of him. You may deny the truth and go on some theory of + your own in the training of your boys, but the truth cannot + deny itself. It <a name="Page_70" + id="Page_70"></a>is <i>there</i>, whether you will have it + or not, a root of the tree of life itself.</p> + + <p>Now there is not a day that need pass without opportunities + of training your boys in this their true knightly attitude. You + can see, as I have already said, that they learn in relation to + their own sisters what in after years they have to practise + towards all women alike. To give up the comfortable easy-chair, + the favorite book or toy, the warmest place by the fire, to the + little sister—this ought to become a second nature to a + well-trained boy. To carry a parcel for her, to jump up and + fetch anything she wants, to give in to her because he is a boy + and the stronger—all this ought to be a matter of course. + As he grows older you can place him in little positions of + responsibility to his sisters, sending them out on an + expedition or to a party under his care. In a thousand such + ways you can see that your boy is not only born but grows up a + knight. I was once in a house where the master always brought + up the heavy evening water-cans and morning coal-scuttles for + the maids. And if these were placed at the foot of the stairs + so as to involve no running in and out of the kitchen, it might + be no mean exercise for a boy's muscles.</p> + + <p>I was told only the other day of a little six-year-old boy + whose mother had brought him up from babyhood on these + principles. He was playing with his little sister on a bed, + when suddenly he perceived that she <a name="Page_71" + id="Page_71"></a>was getting perilously near the edge which + was farthest from the wall. Instantly he dismounted and went + round to the other side, and, climbing up, pushed her gently + into the middle of the bed, remarking sententiously to + himself, "I think boys ought always to take the dangerous + side of their sisters." Ah me! if only you mothers would but + train your boys to "take the dangerous side of their + sisters," especially of those poor little sisters who are + thrust forth at so early an age to earn their own living, + alone and unprotected, on the perilous highways of the + world, skirted for them by so terrible a precipice, what a + different world would it be for us women, what a purer and + better world for your sons!</p> + + <p>Surely the womanhood in our homes ought to enable us to + bring up our boys in such an habitual attitude of serving a + woman, of caring for her, of giving himself for her, that it + would become a moral impossibility for him ever to lower or + degrade a woman in his after-life.</p> + + <p>In concluding these suggestions there is one point I must + emphasize, the more so as in treating of one particular moral + problem it is difficult not to seem to ignore a truth which is + simply vital to all moral training. Let us clearly recognize + that there is no such thing as moral specialism. Our moral + being, like Wordsworth's cloud, "moveth altogether if it move + at all." You cannot strengthen one particular virtue except by + strengthening the character all round. Cardinal Newman points + <a name="Page_72" + id="Page_72"></a>out—I think in one of those wonderful + Oxford sermons of his—that what our ancestors would + have called "a bosom sin" will often take an underground + course and come to the surface at quite an unexpected point + in the character. Hidden licentiousness, which one would + expect to evince itself in over-ripe sentiment and feeling, + manifests itself instead in cruelty and hardness of heart. + The little habit of self-indulgence which you in your + foolish fondness have allowed in that boy of yours may, in + after-life, come out as the very impurity which you have + endeavored so earnestly to guard him against. This mystical + interdependence and hidden correlation of our moral and + intellectual being is a solemn thought, and can only be met + by recognizing that the walls of the citadel must be + strengthened at all points in order to resist the foe at + one. Truthfulness, conscientiousness that refuses to scamp + work, devotion to duty, temperance in food and drink, + rectitude—these things are the bastions of purity of + life, as well as of all high character.</p> + + <p>But in these days I think we have more especially to + remember that the Beautiful Gate of all noble living rests, + like the gate of the Jewish Temple, on two pillars, both of + which show signs of being considerably out of repair. One of + these pillars is obedience, or discipline. If you have not + exacted prompt and unhesitating obedience in your boy, from his + earliest childhood, to the parents whom he has seen, do you + think that in after <a name="Page_73" + id="Page_73"></a>years he will obey the Father of Lights, + whom he has not seen? Do you think, if you have let him set + your authority at defiance, he will in future years, with + temptation on one side and opportunity on the other, bow to + the invisible authority of conscience? What is it, I ask, + that makes the army the finest school for character, giving + us our Lawrences, our Havelocks, our Gordons, our + Kitcheners, but simply this habit of implicit obedience, of + that discipline which has grown so grievously lax in so many + of our English homes? In Carlyle's strong words, "Obedience + is our universal duty and destiny, wherein whoso will not + bend must break: too early and too thoroughly we cannot be + trained to know that 'would,' in this world of ours, is as + mere zero to 'should,' and for most part as the smallest of + fractions even to 'shall.'"<a name="FNanchor_10_10" + id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" + class="fnanchor">[10]</a></p> + + <p>The second great pillar of the portal of noble life seems to + me to show still greater signs of being out of repair and in + want of restoration, and that pillar is reverence,—that + heaven-eyed quality which Dr. Martineau rightly places at the + very top of the ethical scale. Let that crumble, and the + character which might have been a temple sinks into a mere + counting-house. When in these days children are allowed to call + their father Dick, Jack, or Tom, and nickname their own mother; + when they are allowed to drown the voice of the most + <a name="Page_74" + id="Page_74"></a>honored guest at the table with their + little bald chatter, so that even the cross-questioning + genius of a Socrates would find itself at a discount; when + they are allowed to criticise and contradict their elders in + a way that would have appalled our grandmothers; when they + are suffered to make remarks which are anything but reverent + on sacred things—have I not some reason to fear that + the one attribute which touches the character to fine issues + is threatened with extinction? Do you think that the boy who + has never been taught to reverence his own mother's + womanhood will reverence the degraded womanhood of our + streets, or hear that Divine Voice guarding all suffering + manhood and all helpless womanhood from wrong at his hands, + "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye + have done it unto Me?"</p> + + <p>Oh, I would entreat you to set yourself firmly against this + evil tendency of our day, to which I cannot but believe so much + of its agnosticism is due,—that deadening down and + stamping out of the spiritual instincts of our nature, those + great intuitions of the soul, which lie both above and below + all reasoning and logic and form their basis rather than their + apex. Once let the springs of reverence be choked up, once let + that window of the soul be overgrown with weeds and cobwebs, + and your most careful training will only produce a character + estimable in many respects, but for the most part without noble + aspirations, without high ideals, with no <a name="Page_75" + id="Page_75"></a>great enthusiasms—a character, to use + Saint Beuve's expressive phrase, "tout en façade sur la + rue," whose moral judgments are no better than street cries; + the type of man that accepts the degradation of women with + blank alacrity as a necessity of civilization, and would + have it regulated, like any other commodity for the market; + that very common type of character which, whatever its good + qualities, spreads an atmosphere of blight around it, + stunting all upward growing things and flattening down our + life to the dead level of desert sands.</p> + + <p>If you would not be satisfied at your boy rising no higher + than this, then, again I say, guard the springs of reverence. + Do not let your pride in your child's smartness or any + momentary sense of humor make you pass over any little speech + that savors of irreverence; check it instantly. Exact respect + for yourself and for the boy's father, the respect which is no + enemy, but the reverse, to the uttermost of fondness. Insist + upon good manners and respectful attention to the guests of + your house. Do not despise the good old fashion of family + prayers because they do not rise to all that we might wish them + to be. At least they form a daily recognition of "Him in whom + the families of the earth are blessed"—a daily + recognition which that keen observer of English life, the late + American Ambassador, Mr. Bayard, pointed out as one of the + great secrets of England's greatness, and which forms a + valuable school for habits of reverence <a name="Page_76" + id="Page_76"></a>and discipline for the children of the + family. Insist upon the boys being down in time for the + worship of God, and do not allow them to get into the habit + indulged in by so many young men of "sloping" down with + slippered feet long after breakfast is done and prayers are + over.</p> + + <p>Only let the springs of reverence well up in your child's + soul, and then, and then only, will you be able to give your + boy what, after all, must always be the greatest safeguard from + shipwreck in this perilous world—religious faith, that + stops him at the very threshold of temptation with the words: + "How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" Your + very attitude as you kneel by his side with bowed head and + folded hands while he says his little evening and morning + prayer will breathe into his soul a sense of a Divine Presence + about our bed and about our path. Your love—so strong to + love, and yet so weak to save—can lead his faltering + childish feet to that Love which is deeper than our deepest + fall, "which knows all, but loves us better than it knows." You + can press your child against the very heart of God, and lay him + in the Everlasting Arms, that faint not, neither are weary; + and, with the mother of St. Augustine, you may know that the + child of such prayers and such tears will never perish.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i11">"Happy he<br /></span> + <span class="i0">With such a mother! faith in + womankind<br /></span> <span class="i0">Beats with his + blood, and trust in all things high<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Comes easy to him, and though he trip + and fall<br /></span> <span class="i0">He shall not + blind his soul with clay."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_77" + id="Page_77"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_8_8" + id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label"> + [8]</span></a> This is the case with our recognized + medical manuals; I do not know whether it is equally + true of American manuals.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_9_9" + id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label"> + [9]</span></a> Vol. ii. See chapter on "The Position of + Women."</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_10_10" + id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label"> + [10]</span></a> <i>Sartor Resartus</i>, by Thomas + Carlyle, Book II., chap, ii., p. 68. Chapman and Hall, + 1831.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" + id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2> + + <h3>BOYHOOD AND SCHOOL LIFE</h3> + + <p>I now come to what must always be the great moral crux in a + boy's life, that on which all the higher issues of his + character will, in all human probability, turn—his school + life. One of our great educators took what, looked at + superficially, seemed the somewhat retrograde step of giving up + the mastership of a college at Oxford to take again the + head-mastership of a great public school. But in a conversation + I had with him he led me to infer that he had done so from the + conviction forced upon him that the whole moral trend of the + character must be given, if given at all, prior to university + life, at the public school; and to him nothing less than the + formation of high moral character seemed worth striving for. + Fine scholarship and high mathematics are excellent, but after + all, as the apostle of culture, Matthew Arnold, has told us, + conduct, and not intellectual attainment, forms seven-tenths of + life.</p> + + <p>Now, it is in connection with your boy's school life that + you will have your greatest dangers to face, your hardest + battle to fight.</p> + + <p>I am, of course, aware that your school system is in + <a name="Page_78" + id="Page_78"></a>some respects different from ours. You have + the mixed day school such as largely obtains in Scotland, + but which does not exist, at least for the upper classes, in + England. You have private boarding-schools, which with us + are called preparatory schools, as they form the vestibule + to the public school. And you have, lastly, a few large + public schools somewhat on the model of Eton and Harrow.</p> + + <p>Let us begin with the boarding-school. I do not intend for + one moment to deny the advantages of our great English public + schools. They are excellent for discipline and the formation of + strong character, especially for a ruling race like ours; and + their very numerical strength and importance command a splendid + set of men as masters. But both public and private + boarding-schools labor under one great disadvantage: they + remove a boy from all family influence and violate the order of + our life, which can never be violated with impunity. Boys and + girls are sent into the world in pretty equal proportions, and + we were never intended to pile a lot of boys together without + girls and largely without any feminine influence whatever. To + do so is to insure moral disorder whether in our schools or + yours. To quote from an excellent paper of Dr. Butler's: "In + giving us sisters," says one of the Hares in <i>Guesses at + Truth</i>, "God gave us the best moral antiseptic," and it is + their absence more than anything else that has produced the + moral problems which our <a name="Page_79" + id="Page_79"></a>boarding-schools present. To be absent from + sisters for the greater part of the year, at an age when + their companionship is perhaps the most eloquent of silent + appeals to purity, is undoubtedly one of the greatest evils + to be set against the blessings of our public + schools.<a name="FNanchor_11_11" + id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" + class="fnanchor">[11]</a></p> + + <p>For my own part, I can only say that the one thing which has + filled me at times with the darkness of despair has not been + the facts about our back streets, not those facts to meet which + we hold conferences and establish penitentiaries, refuges, + preventive homes, etc.—I am full of hopefulness about + them—but the facts about our public, and still more about + our private, schools, which until lately have been met with + dead silence and masterly inactivity on the part of English + parents. On the part of mothers I feel sure it is ignorance, + not indifference: if they knew what I know, it simply could not + be the latter. Even now, when some, at least, of their + ignorance has been dispelled, I doubt whether they realize the + depth of moral corruption which is to be found in our public + and private schools; the existence of heathen vices which by + the law of our land are treated as felony, and which we would + fain hope, after nineteen centuries of Christianity, might now + be relegated to the first chapter of Romans. They do not + realize the presence of other and commoner forms of impurity, + the self-defilement which taints the moral <a name="Page_80" + id="Page_80"></a>nature and stimulates the lower nature into + unhealthy and abnormal activity. They do not understand the + essentially sporadic nature of the evil—that it may + exist "as a pestilence that walketh in darkness" in one + boarding-school, while another, owing to the influence of a + good set of boys, is comparatively free from it; and they + will, therefore, take a single denial of its existence, + possibly from their own husbands, as conclusive. Even the + affirmations of head-masters are not altogether to be + trusted here, as mothers cannot betray the confidence of + their own boys, and often fail in gaining their consent to + let the head-master know what is going on, in the boy's + natural dread of being found out as the source of the + information and, according to the ruling code, cut, as + having "peached." Once I obtained leave to expose an + indescribable state of things which was going on in broad + daylight in an unsupervised room at one of our great public + schools, utterly unsuspected by the head-master, and his + subordinate, the house-master. But another case which for + long made my life a kind of waking nightmare remained + unexposed to the last.</p> + + <p>Speaking of those commoner forms of impurity to which I have + referred, and which are so mischievous as stimulating immature + functions, needing, as Acton over and over again insists, + absolute quiet and rest for healthy development, Dr. Dukes, the + head physician of one of our best known public schools, states: + "The <a name="Page_81" + id="Page_81"></a>reason why it is so widespread an + evil"—computed in 1886 at eighty per cent. of boys at + school, a computation accepted by a committee of public + schoolmasters—"I believe to be, that the boy leaves + home in the first instance without one word of warning from + his parents that he will meet with bad boys who will tell + him that everybody does it, and thus he falls into evil ways + from his innocence and ignorance + alone."<a name="FNanchor_12_12" + id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" + class="fnanchor">[12]</a></p> + + <p>Dr. Dukes further states that as the results of his thirty + years' experience he had come to the conclusion that only one + per cent. of parents ever warned their boys at all before + sending them to school.</p> + + <p>These statements were made some fifteen years ago, when + first the conspiracy of silence was broken through and the + question of the morality of our public and private schools was + dragged into the light of day and boldly faced and grappled + with, largely owing to the action of Dr. Pusey. Since then a + mass of strenuous effort has been directed against the evil by + our high-minded head-masters; and an immense improvement has + been effected. It is too short a time for one to hope that the + evil has been eradicated; but when parents learn to fulfil + their moral duties of teaching and warning their own + boys—as Dr. Dukes observes—I feel sure it could be + so far removed as to cause the numbers to <a name="Page_82" + id="Page_82"></a>change places, so that we might obtain a + percentage of ninety to ninety-five of those who lead pure + lives while at school, as against five per cent, who are + impure, reversing the lamentable ratio that now exists. But + here again there has been progress, and I feel sure that the + percentage of parents who do warn and teach their sons + before sending them to school is now incomparably higher + than Dr. Dukes's "one per cent." and is steadily rising.</p> + + <p>As to other deeper and nameless evils, they have been + already reduced to a minimum, and if fathers could only be + persuaded to do their duty by their own boys, they might be + made wholly to disappear.</p> + + <p>I give you these facts about our English schools, that + parents may see for themselves what are the consequences of + refusing both teaching and warning to their boys, under the + delusion that God's lilies will grow up in the weedy garden of + the human heart without strenuous culture and training.</p> + + <p>Do not, therefore, I beseech you, take for granted that your + boarding-schools are entirely free from such evils. You have + the same conditions that we have. Till lately your boys have + been as untaught and unwarned as ours. In your + boarding-schools, as in ours, they are removed from the + purifying influence of mother and sisters. They are just at the + age which has neither the delicacy of childhood nor of early + manhood. Rest assured that conditions will breed like + results.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_83" + id="Page_83"></a></p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"My belief, not lightly formed," says Dr. + Butler,<a name="FNanchor_13_13" + id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" + class="fnanchor">[13]</a> "is, that none of the great + schools can congratulate themselves on anything like + safety from this danger. And if this is true of the + great public schools, it is still more true of private + schools, where the evil is admittedly greater. Boys and + masters alike may strangely deceive themselves; the evil + may hide very close. Many a boy has been known to assert + positively and honestly that nothing of the kind was + ever heard of in his time, and that any fellow suspected + of it would have been cut, and half killed, when all the + time the evil was actively at work even among the circle + of his intimate friends."</p> + </div> + + <p>And yet it is this evil, so pervasive in its influence, so + certain to taint the fresh springs of young life with impure + knowledge, if not to foul them with unclean acts, that parents + still too often elect to ignore. The boy, full of eager + curiosity, anxious, above all things, to catch up the ways of + the other fellows, afraid, above all things, of being laughed + at for his innocence, and elated at being taken up by one of + the swells in the shape of an elder boy, and at first set-off + wholly ignorant of the motive; exposed to suggestions about the + functions of his own body which he has not the knowledge to + rebut as the devil's lies—what wonder is it that so many + boys, originally good and pure, fall victims? "They blunder + like blind puppies into sin," a medical man who has had much to + do with boys' schools exclaimed to me in the bitterness of his + soul. The small house of the young boy's soul, full of the song + of birds, the fresh babble of the voices of sisters, all the + innocent sights <a name="Page_84" + id="Page_84"></a>and sounds of an English or American home, + swept and garnished till now by such loving hands, but left + empty, unguarded, and unwatched, for the unclean spirit to + lift the latch and enter in and take possession—the + pity of it! oh, the pity of it! What can the boy think? To + quote Dr. Dukes again:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"He will say to himself: 'My father knows of all this + vice at schools, and yet has not said one word to me about + it. He has warned me about most things. He told me to be + truthful, to keep my temper, to be upright and manly, to + say my prayers; he pressed me never to get into debt, never + to drink, and never to use bad language; and he told me I + ought to change my boots and clothes when wet, so as not to + get ill; and yet he has not said one syllable about this. + My father is a good man and loves me, and if he wanted me + not to do this he would surely have told me; it can't be + very wrong, else I am sure he would have protected me and + told me all about it."</p> + </div> + + <p>I remember a friend of mine, who had been greatly stirred on + the whole subject, endeavoring, with tears in her eyes, to + persuade a father to warn his boy before sending him to his + first public school, and on his absolutely refusing to do any + such thing, she said to him, "At least promise me that you will + give him this book," placing in his hands Mr. George Everett's + excellent little book, <i>Your Innings</i>. This he consented + to do. The next morning my friend met him at breakfast, the boy + having been already despatched by an early train. "Well," he + said, "I sat up till past twelve last night reading your book; + it is excellent, and I gave it to my lad before starting him + off. But <a name="Page_85" + id="Page_85"></a>there is just one chapter in it, called a + 'Strange Companion,' which I took the precaution of + previously cutting out with my penknife; and my boy in his + after years will thank me for not putting any such ideas in + his head, but having kept him the pure and innocent lad that + he is." I need not say that it was the one chapter that + would have put the boy on his guard. Oh, befooled and + purblind father! I happened to know that the school to which + the boy was sent was swept at that time by a moral epidemic, + and before that hapless lad had been a week in its corrupt + atmosphere he would have had ideas put into his head with a + vengeance. His father had handed over the ground of his + boy's heart for the devil to sow the first crop, and as a + rule the devil sows, not wild oats, as we say, but + acorns—a dread sowing which it may take years to root + up and to extirpate, even if, so far as after-taint is + concerned, it can ever be wholly extirpated.</p> + + <p>In another case a widowed mother came to one of my meetings, + and was profoundly alarmed at what I said about the dangers of + our schoolboys. It had never occurred to her that her + gentlemanly little lad of twelve could have any temptations of + the kind. Unlike the father I have mentioned, she resolved to + speak to him that same evening. She found that he was fighting + a battle against the whole school, standing up alone for the + right, guided by some blind instinct of purity to resist the + foul suggestions which were inflicted upon <a name="Page_86" + id="Page_86"></a>him, threatening him with the most terrible + consequences in after-life if he did not yield and do as the + other boys did. Think of it, ye mothers! a child of twelve + without a hand to guide him, without a voice to cheer him, + refused the knowledge that would have saved him from his + deadly peril, his own mother deaf and dumb and blind to his + struggles, leaving him to fight his little forlorn hope + absolutely alone. I need scarcely say how thankfully he + poured forth his sore heart to his mother when once she had + opened the door, till now kept locked by her own ignorance; + and how she was able to explain to him that, far from + reaping any evil consequences from doing what is right, like + Sir Galahad, "his strength would be the strength of ten" if + he kept himself pure. She probably took steps to remove him + from so corrupt an atmosphere as prevailed in that + preparatory school, but of this I do not know.</p> + + <p>But here let me guard myself from being misunderstood. I am + not making out that every schoolboy is exposed to these + temptations; there are boys so exceptionally endowed that they + seem to spread a pure atmosphere around them which is respected + by even the coarsest and loosest boys in the school. All I do + maintain, with Dr. Butler, is that no school is safe from this + danger, that at any time it may prove an active one in your + boy's life, and that at the very least you have to guard him + from impure knowledge being <a name="Page_87" + id="Page_87"></a>thrust upon him before nature has developed + the instincts of manhood by which she guards her inner + shrine.</p> + + <p>And now I come to the question of day schools. As I have + already said, I cannot feel but they are more consonant with + the order of our life as giving the discipline and competition + of numbers without removing the boy from family life, nor do + they lend themselves to some of the graver evils of our + boarding-schools. But, alas! in themselves they form no panacea + for the evils we are contemplating. On the contrary, I am told + on authority I cannot question that in some places this plague + spot is rife among them. In one case the evil had struck so + wide and deep that the school had to be temporarily closed. + Here, again, the same lesson is emphasized, viz.: that whatever + is the form of the school, however excellent the teacher, there + is no substitute in the moral life for the home teaching and + training of mothers and fathers.</p> + + <p>No mother can read these statements + unmoved—statements, remember, not my own, but made by men + of the deepest and widest experience, and which, therefore, you + are bound to weigh, ponder, and carefully consider. I know that + straight from your heart again comes the cry, "What can I + do?"</p> + + <p>I am inclined to answer this cry in one word, + "Everything,"—with God's help.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_88" + id="Page_88"></a></p> + + <h4>I</h4> + + <p>And now let us enter into practical details. We will begin + with the outworks, and work our way inwards to the shrine.</p> + + <p>First, as to the all-important choice of a school, should + the boy's father decide, for reasons in which you concur to + send him to a boarding-school.</p> + + <p>As to how to ascertain the real state of a school there is, + of course, considerable difficulty. I have always found the + best way is through mothers who have gained the confidence of + their boys and who know through them what really goes on. In + this way, as mothers wake up to the danger their boys run and + to their own responsibility in guarding them, we shall be able + to help one another more and more. But make a point of + yourself, as well as the boy's father, personally seeing the + master to whom you think of entrusting your lad, and talking + over the matter with him. In this way you will not only satisfy + yourself, but you will strengthen his hands by making him feel + how vital the whole question is to your heart. What more than + anything else weakens the high-minded men who have the tuition + of the young is the utter unconcern that is evinced by the + parents and the sense that, by the payment of a sum of money + down, they can compound with a master for the performance of + their inalienable duty of undertaking the moral education of + their own children.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_89" + id="Page_89"></a>Here let me give you two most earnest + cautions. Do not attach too much importance to mere + mechanical arrangements as moral safeguards. One of our most + successful head-masters says:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"I would most seriously warn any parent anxious about + the choice of a school not to attach much weight to the + apparent excellence of arrangements. Some of the worst + schools have these arrangements in the highest perfection. + They cannot afford to have them otherwise. Neat cubicles + and spotless dimity have beguiled an uninterrupted sequence + of mammas, and have kept alive, and even flourishing, + schools which are in a thoroughly bad moral state and are + hopelessly inefficient in every particular. Of course, many + a parent feels that he ought to judge for himself, and + these mechanical arrangements are too often the only + material on which he can form his judgment. Let me assure + him that they are entirely untrustworthy."</p> + </div> + + <p>Secondly, do not think to find safety in the choice of a + so-called "religious" school, even though it reflect the exact + shade of your own religious opinions. The worst evils I ever + knew went on in a school where the boys implicated held a + weekly prayer-meeting! We must boldly face the fact that there + is some mysterious connection between the religious emotions + and the lower animal nature; and the religious forcing-house, + of whatever school of theology, will always be liable to prove + a hot-bed of impurity. Choose a school with a high moral tone, + with religion as an underlying principle—a practical + religion, that inculcates duty rather than fosters emotion, and + embodies the wise proverb of Solomon, "In all labor there is + profit, but the talk of the lips tendeth to penury."</p> + + <p><a name="Page_90" + id="Page_90"></a>Only let me beseech you to use your whole + influence not to have your boy sent away at too early an + age. Do you really think that the exclusive society of + little boys, with their childish chatter, their foolish + little codes, their crude and often ridiculously false + notions of life, and their small curiosities, naturally + inquisitive, but not always clean in the researches they + inspire, and <i>always</i> false in their results, is + morally better for your child than, in Dr. Butler's + words,</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"the refining and purifying atmosphere of home, with the + tenderness of a mother, the grace and playfulness of + sisters, the love and loyalty of the family nurse, and + lastly—scarcely to be distinguished in its effects + from these influences—the sweetness, the simplicity, + the flower-picking, the pony-patting of happy, frolicsome + younger brothers or sisters in the garden, the paddock, or + stable?"</p> + </div> + + <p>If the boy has got out of hand, I ask, Whose fault is that? + and is it fair to the child that your fault should be remedied + by sending him away from all that is best and most purifying in + child life? I would plead earnestly that eleven or twelve is + old enough for the private school, and that a boy should not be + sent to a public school before fourteen. In this I think most + of our English head-masters would agree with me. Till this age, + a day school or a tutor should be had recourse to, and when the + time comes for sending him off to school, at least we can + refuse to place the boy anywhere, either at a private or public + school, where there is not some woman to mother and look after + the boys <a name="Page_91" + id="Page_91"></a>and exert a good womanly influence over + them. A head-master keenly alive to moral dangers, with a + capable wife ready to use her womanly influence in aiding + and abetting his efforts, I have found the best possible + combination.</p> + + <p>But if it is decided that the boys are to be brought up at + the day school, your range of choice will probably be very + small. You will have to look wholly to your home influence and + teaching to counteract any evil influence they may encounter in + their school life. But as your boys will never be separated + from you, what may not that home influence and teaching, with + knowledge and forewarning to direct it,—what may it not + accomplish?</p> + + <h4>II</h4> + + <p>Let us, then, think out the best ways in which you can warn + and guard your boy and fulfil your responsibility of being his + moral teacher.</p> + + <p>Let us begin with the simplest measure which you can take, + and which can present no difficulty to anyone. Before sending + your boy to school get him quietly by himself and say to him + some such words as these: "My boy, you know, or will come to + know, that when boys get together they often talk of nasty + things, and even do nasty things. Give me your word of honor as + a Christian and a gentleman that you will never say or do + anything that you know you would be <a name="Page_92" + id="Page_92"></a>ashamed to tell me, that you know would + bring a blush to your sister's cheeks. Always remember that + dirty talk, and still more dirty deeds, are only fit for + cads. Promise me faithfully that you will never let any boy, + especially an elder boy, tell you 'secrets.' If you were to + consent through curiosity, or because you feel flattered at + one of the elder fellows taking you up, be sure he means you + no good. Whatever you want to know ask me, and so far as I + can I will tell you." Some such words as these said solemnly + to a boy the day before he leaves home for the first time, + either for a boarding-school, or even a day school, will + make your womanhood a sort of external conscience to your + boy, to guard him from those first beginnings of impurity, + in the shape of what are technically called "secrets," which + lead on to all the rest. I know one mother who, from her + boy's earliest years, has made a solemn pact with him, on + the one hand, if he would promise never to ask any questions + about life and birth of anyone but her, she, in her turn, + would promise to tell him all he wanted to know; and from + first to last there has been that perfect confidence and + friendship between mother and son which is, and ever must + be, a boy's greatest safeguard.</p> + + <p>Only remember that with young boys men who have had the + greatest experience are generally agreed that it is better not + to put the stress on religious motives. Practically, for a + young boy, it is better to treat the <a name="Page_93" + id="Page_93"></a>whole thing as dirty, nasty, and + blackguardly. And the whole subject must always be spoken of + with reserve, without any emotion, and with much "dry + light."</p> + + <p>With most lads I should go a step further; I should give the + boy one of the White Cross papers, "A Strange + Companion."<a name="FNanchor_14_14" + id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" + class="fnanchor">[14]</a> It is impossible to lay down hard + and fast rules; it is impossible to make so many jam-pots of + even young humanity, to be tied up and labelled and arranged + upon the same shelf. Each individuality has to be dealt with + in all its mysterious idiosyncrasy. One boy may be so + reserved that it is better to write to him than to talk face + to face; another may find the greatest possible strength and + comfort in freedom of speech and the feeling that there is + no barrier between him and his mother with regard to being + able to tell her freely of any temptations that may assail + him. Your mother's instincts will be your best guide as to + what method to adopt with each of your boys.</p> + + <p>If the father of the lad can be induced, at any rate before + he enters a boarding-school, to follow the advice of that + remarkable man, Mr. Thring, the founder of Uppingham School, in + his address to our Church Congress, and write a letter of plain + warning and counsel to the lad, it would be an unspeakable + help. "My <a name="Page_94" + id="Page_94"></a>first statement," says Mr. Thring, "is that + all fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. It + is not difficult, if done in a common-sense + way."<a name="FNanchor_15_15" + id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" + class="fnanchor">[15]</a></p> + + <p>But now I come to what on all hands we must allow to be a + point of extreme difficulty. I think all head-masters, deeply + concerned in the moral welfare of the boys under their charge, + would emphatically endorse the following words of Dr. + Butler's:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"It is certain, it must needs be, that boys should, at + an early period of their boyhood, come to hear of the + nature of sexual relations. From whom should they first + learn it? Should it be with every accompaniment of + coarseness, of levity, of obscenity? From some ribald groom + in the stables? From some impure maidservant who has stolen + into the household and the nursery? From some brother only + a year or two older, who has just received his first + initiation in impurity at a private school and is too young + to understand its danger? Worst of all, from the idlest, + and most corrupt, and most worthless set of boys at this + same private school, who surround the newcomer within a few + days, perhaps a few hours, of his first joining, and, with + knowing looks and enticing words, try to probe his childish + knowledge, and leave him half-ashamed of himself and keenly + inquisitive for full initiation, if he finds that he knows + nothing of this engrossing mystery? Is it right, is it + fair, is it consistent with religious duty or with + common-sense, that a little boy of eight, or ten, or + twelve, should be sent at this impressionable age to hear + for the first time of facts of human nature which must ere + long be known, and are part of God's appointment? Does not + every dictate of humanity and of reason point to the + conclusion that the dawn of this knowledge should be + invested with all that is tender, and loving, and pure, and + sacred, instead of being shrouded in the mists of innuendo + or blazoned forth in <a name="Page_95" + id="Page_95"></a>the shamelessness of bestiality? There + is really no answer but one to such a question, and the + plain truth is that fathers, perhaps still more mothers, + must recognize the duty which lies upon them to teach + their children, at such times, in such words, and with + such reservations as the character of each child may + suggest, the elements at least of that knowledge which + will otherwise be learnt but a very little later from a + widely different set of instructors. I lay down the + principle as admitting of no exception—I do not + anticipate even one dissentient voice from any who now + hear me—<i>that no boy ought ever to be allowed to + go to school without learning from his father or his + mother, or from some brother or tried friend + considerably older than himself the simple facts as to + the laws of birth and the terrible danger of ever coming + to talk of these phenomena as matters of frivolous and + filthy conversation</i>."</p> + </div> + + <p>I can only beseech you to give due weight to these words of + one who had many years' experience of a large public school. + Over and over again, at all my meetings of educated mothers, I + have reiterated his question in similar words, "Is it right, is + it fair, that your boy should learn the sacred mysteries of + life and birth from the sources which Dr. Butler enumerates, + and to which you abandon him, if you refuse to speak; sources + of unclean and lying information by which I have no hesitation + in saying that the mind and conscience of many men are more or + less permanently defiled, even when the life has been kept + outwardly pure?" Can you hesitate for one moment to allow that + the springs of the life which you will be the first to + acknowledge comes from God should well up from a pure source, + till, like Wordsworth's stream—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p><a name="Page_96" + id="Page_96"></a></p><span class="i6">"Crowned with + flowers,<br /></span> <span class="i0">The mountain + infant to the sun laughs forth,"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>and that the whole subject should be so bound up in the + boy's mind with his father's love for his mother, his mother's + love for his father, with his own existence, and that of his + sisters, that he would shrink with utter loathing from the + filthy so-called "secrets" that are bandied about among + schoolboys? I know that the task of conveying this knowledge + presents many difficulties, but again I ask, "What is there in + our life that is worth doing which is not difficult?" Long ago + the definition of a difficulty to me has become "a thing to be + overcome." It is not in sitting down helplessly before a + difficulty that the way will open. With us, as with the + Israelites on the brink of that raging midnight sea, it is in a + brave obedience to the Divine command, "Go forward!" that the + path opens through the trackless sea, and we find that the + great waters that seem ready to overwhelm us are in reality a + baptism into new life.</p> + + <h4>III</h4> + + <p>Again I seem almost to hear the cry of your heart, "I know I + ought to speak to my boy, but how am I to do it?"</p> + + <p>Now, it is here that I earnestly desire to give you, if I + possibly can, some helpful, practical suggestions, + <a name="Page_97" + id="Page_97"></a>for I feel that it is not in the + recognition of a duty, but in its performance, that the + difficulty lies which is arresting so many educated mothers + at the present time.</p> + + <p>With very young children, whether girls or boys, there + should be no difficulty whatever. They are too young to + understand. Only, when they come to you asking their innocent + little questions as to where the little baby brother or sister + comes from, I would earnestly ask you never to allow yourself, + or your nurse, to inflict on them the usual popular fables, + that the baby was brought by the doctor or that it was found + under the gooseberry-bush. A child is far quicker than we think + to detect that mother is hiding something, and the first tiny + seed of evil curiosity is sown. Make no mystery about it; look + your child full in the face, and say, "My child, you have asked + me a question about what is very, very sacred. If I were to try + to explain it to you, you would not be old enough to + understand; for the present you must be content to know that + the baby comes from God; how it comes mother will tell you when + you grow old enough to understand; only promise me that you + will never ask any one but mother about it." The child will + then see that you are hiding nothing, and will be satisfied to + wait for the explanation that mother has promised.</p> + + <p>But what when the child is old enough to + understand?—an age which doubtless varies in different + children, but which with boys must come before their first + school, <a name="Page_98" + id="Page_98"></a>if you are to occupy the ground of his + heart with good seed, which leaves no room for the devil's + sowing.</p> + + <p>Well, with regard to the facts of birth, I do not think we + ought to find much difficulty. You can point out how the baby + seed has a soft, downy place provided for it in the pod of the + parent plant till it has ripened and is fit to be sown, when + the pod opens and lets it fall to the earth, and it becomes a + plant in its turn. You can point out that the egg in a similar + way is carried in the mother bird's body till the shell has + hardened and is fit to be laid, when she warms it with her own + breast, patiently sitting on it for days, while the father bird + feeds her, till the little chick is strong enough to break the + walls of its tiny house, and come forth and peck and fend for + itself. You can explain how the little kitten the child plays + with has in the same way a safe place provided for it in the + mother's body, where it grows and grows till all its organs are + formed, and it can breathe and suck, when, like the seed from + the pod, and the chick from the egg it leaves the mother's + body, and is born, a blind and helpless baby kitten, to be fed + and tenderly cared for by the mother cat. You will explain that + the baby comes in just the same way so far as its infant body + is concerned, growing like the kitten from a tiny + cell—borne by the mother till all the organs are formed + which it needs for its earthly life, when it also is born and + laid in its mother's arms, to be nourished and cared for by the + love of both father <a name="Page_99" + id="Page_99"></a>and mother, not for a few weeks, as with + animals, but through long years of helplessness. And you + mean to tell me that the sacred truth would not endear you + to your child far more than the usual cock-and-bull story + about the doctor and the gooseberry-bush?</p> + + <p>A friend of mine has three boys of widely opposite character + and temperament. Owing to circumstances, the eldest lad had to + be sent to school at an early age. Young as he was, she + resolved to follow Dr. Butler's advice and tell him the facts + of birth in the way I have suggested. On realizing the truth, + the boy flung his arms round her neck and burst into tears. But + though she felt that she had done right, she was not wholly + without misgivings that she might have introduced some + objectionable talk into her nursery. When the time came to send + the second lad to school, she repeated the talk that she had + had with his elder brother. But to her surprise she found him + in total ignorance of the facts: his elder brother had never + confided them to him. And so again with the third boy. + Evidently the boys had considered it too sacred a thing to talk + about—how much too sacred, then, to allow of their + joining in with the unclean gossip of schoolboys! Its only + result was to give them an added tenderness for their mother, + and to make them resent all such unclean talk as so much mud + flung at her.</p> + + <p>So far, so good. But we all of us realize that it is not the + facts of birth, but the facts of the origination + <a name="Page_100" + id="Page_100"></a>of life, that form the perennial source of + obscene talk, and often of obscene action, among boys; and + it is in explaining these, without violating those instincts + of reserve and modesty with which nature herself surrounds + the whole subject, that what often seems an insuperable + difficulty arises. Yet these functions are, and must be, the + very shrine of a body which is a temple of the Lord and + Giver of life; and on the face of things, therefore, there + must be some method of conveying pure knowledge to the + opening mind with regard to them. The difficulty must be + with ourselves, and not in the very nature of things + themselves.</p> + + <p>Has it not been created in a great measure by a wrong + method? We begin with human life instead of ending with it; we + isolate it from a great system to which it belongs, and treat + what is "the roof and crown of things" as a roof that tops no + fair edifice, and is therefore anomalous; as a crown that rests + on a head which has been severed from its body, and is + therefore unmeaning. We obstinately refuse to live—to + quote Goethe's words again—not only "in the beautiful and + the good," but also "in the whole," which is equally necessary + for a well-ordered life. What it seems to me we need is to + teach the facts of life-giving, or, in other words, of sex, as + a great, wide, open-air law, running right through animated + creation, an ever-ascending progression forming a golden ladder + leading up to man.</p> + + <p>In explaining the facts of reproduction, I would + <a name="Page_101" + id="Page_101"></a>therefore suggest that you should begin + with the lowest rung of the ladder, the simplest organisms, + such as the amoeba or the volvox. I should show how these + multiply by fission, the creature dividing into two, when it + is impossible to tell which is the father and which is the + mother. I would then pass upwards to more complex organisms, + where two individuals are required to form the offspring. + You could explain the whole process by the method of + fertilization in plants, as urged in an excellent paper by a + lady doctor, published in the <i>Parents' + Review</i>.<a name="FNanchor_16_16" + id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" + class="fnanchor">[16]</a> Let me quote her words:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"The child can learn the difference of the names, color, + and forms of flowers as soon as it can learn anything. The + next step would be to simple lessons in the different parts + of a plant—the vegetative organs of roots, stem, + leaves, passing on to the reproductive organs in the + flower—calyx, corolla, stamen, and pistil. Let the + child be taught to notice that all flowers have not quite + the same organs, some bearing stamens only, which shed the + powdery pollen and are the male, or little father flowers; + while others have the pistil only, furnished with the + stigma to catch the pollen, and are the females, or little + mothers; that the one sort of flowers is necessary to the + other in producing the little seed or baby plant."</p> + </div> + + <p>Let us take a primrose. Here the mother and father elements + are found in the same flower. At the base of the flower, packed + in a delicate casket, which is called the ovary, lie a number + of small white objects no larger than butterfly-eggs. These are + the eggs or ova of the primrose. Into this casket, by a secret + opening, <a name="Page_102" + id="Page_102"></a>filmy tubes thrown out by the pollen + grains—now enticed from their hiding-place on the + stamens and clustered on the stigma—enter and pour a + fertilizing fluid, called "spermatozoa," through a + microscopic gateway, which opens in the wall of the egg and + leads to its inmost heart. The ovule, or future seed, is now + fertilized and capable of producing a future primrose. + Covered with many protecting coats, it becomes a perfect + seed. The original casket swells, hardens, is transformed + into a rounded capsule or seed-vessel, opening by valves or + a deftly constructed hinge. One day this seed-vessel, + crowded with seeds, breaks open and completes the cycle of + reproduction by dispersing them over the ground, where they + sow themselves, and grow and become primrose plants in their + turn, starring the grass with their lovely + blossoms.<a name="FNanchor_17_17" + id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" + class="fnanchor">[17]</a></p> + + <p>Sometimes the male and female elements grow upon different + plants, as in the catkins children are so fond of gathering in + the spring.</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"More than two thousand years ago Herodotus observed a + remarkable custom in Egypt. At a certain season of the year + the Egyptians went into the desert, cut off branches from + the wild palms, and bringing them back to their gardens, + waved them over the flowers of the date-palm. Why they + performed this ceremony they did not know; but they knew + that if they neglected it the date-crop would be poor or + wholly lost. But the <a name="Page_103" + id="Page_103"></a>true reason is now explained. + Palm-trees, like human beings, are male and female. The + garden plants, the date bearers, were females, the + desert plants were males; and the waving of the branches + over the females meant the transference of the pollen + dust from the one to the other."<a name="FNanchor_18_18" + id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" + class="fnanchor">[18]</a></p> + </div> + + <p>From these two elements, the spermatozoa, or male element, + and the ova, or female element, all life, except in the lowest + organisms, is produced.</p> + + <p>You could point out how it is by this marvellous process of + reproduction, not only that the world is made green and + beautiful, but all animal life is fed. Corn and rice, which are + only fertilized seeds, form the staple food of a large + proportion of mankind; while even the animal in order to live + has first to be nourished on corn or grass before it can become + meat for man.</p> + + <p>You could go on further to illustrate the facts of + reproduction by bees and ants, so familiar to children, where + the drone or male bee, or the male ant, in just the same way as + in the plant, fertilizes the eggs of the queen bee or ant by + bringing the spermatozoa into contact with the unfertilized egg + in the insect's body, when the eggs thus fertilized are laid + and carefully nurtured by the working bee or ant. All children + have observed the little neuter,<a name="FNanchor_19_19" + id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" + class="fnanchor">[19]</a> or working ant, carrying in its + mandibles an egg almost as large as itself with an air of + <a name="Page_104" + id="Page_104"></a>extreme hurry and absorption, to lay it in + the sun till the warmth hatches it into a baby ant.</p> + + <p>If it were further pointed out that not the male, but the + female, as the mother of the species, is Nature's chief care; + that among ants the male is sent into the world so imperfectly + endowed that he cannot even feed himself, but is fed by his + female relations, and that as soon as he has performed his + function of fertilizing the queen ant, Nature apparently + dismisses him with contemptuous starvation; or—to take + the case of the drone or male bee—he is stung to death by + the workers, it might help to modify the preposterous + pretensions of the male, especially of the boy, in higher + circles.</p> + + <p>You could then pass upwards through fish with the soft and + hard roe, or male and female elements which are familiar to + children, and through frogs with their spawn to birds. Here + comes in an upward step indeed. "A world that only cared for + eggs becomes," as Professor Drummond observes in his <i>Ascent + of Man,</i> "a world that cares for its young." The first faint + trembling dawn, or at least shadowing forth, of a moral life, + in the care of the strong for the weak, makes itself seen, + which henceforth becomes as pervasive an element in Nature as + the fierce struggle for existence in which the weak are + destroyed by the strong.<a name="FNanchor_20_20" + id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" + class="fnanchor">[20]</a></p> + + <p><a name="Page_105" + id="Page_105"></a>In the bird—till now "the free queen + of the air," living at her own wild will, suddenly fettered + and brooding on her nest, and covering her helpless young + with her tender wings—we see some faint image of the + Divine tenderness. In the ceaseless toil of both the parent + birds from morning till night to fill the little gaping + throats we begin to feel the duty of the strong to serve and + protect the weak; and in the little hen partridge, still + clinging to her nest, when the flash of the scythe is + drawing nearer and nearer, till reapers have told me they + have feared the next sweep of the scythe might cut off her + head, we see more than a shadow of that mother's love which + is stronger than death. And when we pass lastly to the + highest order of animals, the mammalia, we find them named + after the mother's function of giving suck to her young from + her own breast. They are no longer matured in an external + egg, but are borne in her own body till they are able to + breathe, and seek their nourishment from <a name="Page_106" + id="Page_106"></a>her, and then they are born so helpless + that, as with kittens and puppies, they often cannot even + see.</p> + + <p>In this higher order of animals nothing can exceed the + devotion of the mother to her young in their helpless infancy. + The fierce bear will recklessly expose her shaggy breast to the + hunter in their defence. Here, too, we find, as the Duke of + Argyle points out in his book on <i>The Unity of + Nature</i>,</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"that the equality of the sexes, as regards all the + enjoyments as well as the work of life, is the universal + rule; and among those of them in which the social instincts + have been especially implanted, and whose systems of polity + are like the most civilized polities of men, the females of + the race are treated with a strange mixture of love, + loyalty, and devotion."</p> + </div> + + <p>"Man" as the Duke says, "is the Great Exception," and has + been defined as the only animal that ill-treats and degrades + his female.</p> + + <p>And when at length we come to the topmost step, "the roof + and crown of things,"—Man, as you have already explained + the physical facts of life-giving on the plane of plants, and + ants, and bees, where they can excite no feeling of any kind, + you will have no need to go over them again, but will find + yourself free to express the physical in terms of the moral. + Man, as a spiritual being, incarnate in an animal body, takes + this great law of sex which we have seen running through the + animated creation, and lifts it into the moral and the + spiritual. The physical love which in animals only + <a name="Page_107" + id="Page_107"></a>lasts for the brief time that is needed + for the production and rearing of offspring—becomes in + him a love which "inhabiteth eternity," and unites him to + the mother of his children in the indissoluble union of + marriage. His fatherhood becomes the very representative of + the Father in heaven. The mother becomes the very type and + image of the Love that has loved us with more than a + mother's love, borne with us with more than a mother's + patience, suffered for us, in the Cross and Passion, more + than a mother's pangs, to bring us into a higher life. The + love of brothers and sisters becomes the first faint + beginning of the universal Church and the brotherhood of + man; and the sweet babble of their voices grows choral at + length in the songs of the Church triumphant, the unbroken + family in heaven; while the Christian home shadows forth the + eternal home which awaits us + hereafter.<a name="FNanchor_21_21" + id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" + class="fnanchor">[21]</a></p> + + <p>The only warning you would have to give your boy would be to + point out that, as a cathedral takes longer to build than a + shanty, so the human body, which is meant to be the temple of + the "Lord and Giver of life," takes much longer to mature than + an animal's. Many an animal lives and dies of old age in the + fourteen years that leave man still an immature boy. And you + must earnestly impress upon him that the whole of this part + <a name="Page_108" + id="Page_108"></a>of his nature which you have been + explaining to him as a great law running through animated + creation and finding its highest uses in Man, must be left + to mature itself in absolute rest and quiet. All premature + use of it is fatal to perfect health of soul and body. The + less he thinks of it, and the more he thinks of his work and + his athletics, the better for him. Above all, you hope, now + that he knows the truth and his curiosity is satisfied, he + will loathe all filthy jests and stories about that which is + the source of all beautiful living things on the pleasant + earth and, in his own little world, of all happy family life + and innocent home love and joy.</p> + + <p>Let me quote here, in conclusion, a little poem, called "The + Golden Ladder," which seems to me to embody some of the + teaching of this exquisite page of the illuminated Word of + Creation, which man has so blotted and defiled with his + obscenities, but which to "open hearts and love-lit eyes" is + the spring of all that is highest—the birth of the moral + and the cradle of the divine.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"When torn with Passion's insecure + delights,<br /></span> <span class="i1">By Love's dear + torments, ceaseless changes worn,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">As my swift sphere full twenty days + and nights<br /></span> <span class="i1">Did make, ere + one slow morn and eve were born;<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"I passed within the dim, sweet world + of flowers,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Where only + harmless lights, not hearts, are broken,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">And weep out the sweet-watered summer + showers—<br /></span> <span class="i1">World of + white joys, cool dews, and peace unspoken;<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_109" + id="Page_109"></a></p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"I started, even there among the + flowers,<br /></span> <span class="i1">To find the + tokens mute of what I fled—<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Passions, and forces, and resistless + powers,<br /></span> <span class="i1">That have uptorn + the world and stirred the dead.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"In secret bowers of amethyst and + rose,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Close wrapped in + fragrant golden curtains laid,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Where silver lattices to morn + unclose,<br /></span> <span class="i1">The fairy lover + clasps his flower-maid.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Ye blessed children of the jocund + day!<br /></span> <span class="i1">What mean these + mysteries of love and birth?<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Caught up like solemn words by babes + at play,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Who know not + what they babble in their mirth.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Or of one stuff has some Hand made us + all,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Baptized us all in + one great sequent plan,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Where deep to ever vaster deep may + call,<br /></span> <span class="i1">And all their large + expression find in Man?<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Flowers climb to birds, and birds and + beasts to Man,<br /></span> <span class="i1">And Man to + God, by some strong instinct driven;<br /></span> + <span class="i0">And so the golden ladder upward + ran,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Its foot among the + flowers, its top in heaven.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"All lives Man lives; of matter first + then tends<br /></span> <span class="i1">To plants, an + animal next unconscious, dim,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">A man, a spirit last, the cycle + ends,—<br /></span> <span class="i1">Thus all + creation weds with God in him.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"And if he fall, a world in him doth + fall,<br /></span> <span class="i1">All things decline + to lower uses; while<br /></span> <span class="i0">The + golden chain that bound the each to all<br /></span> + <span class="i1">Falls broken in the dust, a linkless + pile.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"And Love's fair sacraments and mystic + rite<br /></span> <span class="i1">In Nature, which + their consummation find,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">In wedded hearts, and union + infinite<br /></span> <span class="i1">With the Divine, + of married mind with mind,<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_110" + id="Page_110"></a></p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">Foul symbols of an idol temple + grow,<br /></span> <span class="i1">And sun-white Love + is blackened into lust,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">And man's impure doth into flower-cups + flow,<br /></span> <span class="i1">And the fair Kosmos + mourneth in the dust.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">O Thou, out-topping all we know or + think,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Far off yet nigh, + out-reaching all we see,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Hold Thou my hand, that so the + top-most link<br /></span> <span class="i1">Of the + great chain may hold, from us to Thee;<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"And from my heaven-touched life may + downward flow<br /></span> <span class="i1">Prophetic + promise of a grace to be;<br /></span> + <span class="i0">And flower, and bird, and beast, may + upward grow,<br /></span> <span class="i1">And find + their highest linked to God in me."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>Possibly you will say at once, "Oh, my boy has no taste for + natural history, and he would take no interest in this kind of + thing." All the better his finding it a bit dry—it will + rid the subject of some of its dangerous attraction. I have yet + to find the boy for whom the Latin Grammar has the least + interest; but we do not excuse him on that ground from grinding + at it. Whether he takes an interest in it or not, you have to + teach him that he has got to know about these things before + going to school, to guard him from the danger of having all + sorts of false, and often foul, notions palmed off on him. I do + not say that pure knowledge will necessarily save, but I do say + that the pitcher which is full of clear spring-water has no + room for foul. I do say that you have gained a great step, if + in answer to the offer of enlightenment which he is certain to + receive, you have enabled your boy to acquit himself of + <a name="Page_111" + id="Page_111"></a>the rough objurgation—forgive me for + putting it in schoolboy language: "Oh, hold your jaw! I know + all about that, and I don't want any of your rot." I do say + that early associations are most terribly strong, and if you + will secure that those early associations with regard to + life and birth shall be bound up with all the sanctities of + life—with home, with his mother, with family, with all + that is best and highest in life; then his whole attitude in + life will be different. But if these early associations are + linked with all that is false and foul, some subtle odor of + the sewer will still cling about the heart of the shrine, a + nameless sense of something impure in the whole subject; an + undefinable something in his way of looking at it, which has + often made the purity of men—blameless in their outer + life—- sadden and perplex me almost as much as the + actions and words of confessedly impure men.</p> + + <h4>IV</h4> + + <p>But, whatever is the importance I attach to pure teaching, I + return to my old position, that purity is an attitude of soul, + or, perhaps I ought to say, the "snowy bloom" of the soul's + perfect health, rather than anything you can embody in moral + maxims or pure knowledge—that perfect bloom of spiritual + health which may be as much the result of a mother's watchful + care and training as the physical health of the body. It is for + you to train your boy in that knightly attitude of soul, + <a name="Page_112" + id="Page_112"></a>that reverence for womanhood, which is to + men as "fountains of sweet water" in the bitter sea of life; + that chivalrous respect for the weak and the unprotected + which, next to faith in God, will be the best guard to all + the finer issues of his character. Truth of truth are the + golden words of Ruskin to young men:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"Whomsoever else you deceive, whomsoever else you + injure, whomsoever else you leave unaided, you must not + deceive, nor injure, nor leave unaided according to your + power any woman whatever, of whatever rank. Believe me, + every virtue of the highest phase of manly character begins + and ends in this, in truth and modesty before the face of + all maidens, in truth and reverence or truth and pity to + all womanhood."</p> + </div> + + <p>Can we doubt or question this, we who worship Him who came + to reveal the true man quite as much as to reveal the only true + God—the real manhood beneath the false, perishable man + with which it is so often overlaid by the influence of society + and the world? Look at His attitude towards women, ay, even + Eastern women, who had not been ennobled by centuries of + Christian freedom and recognized equality of the sexes, but + who, on the contrary, belonged to a nation tainted to some + degree with that Eastern contempt for women which made a Hindu + answer the question of the Englishman, perplexed by the + multiplied of Indian gods and sects, "Is there <i>no</i> point + of belief in which you all unite?" "Oh, yes," the Pundit + replied, "we all believe in the sanctity of cows and the + depravity of women!"</p> + + <p><a name="Page_113" + id="Page_113"></a>These Eastern women, therefore, had much + to enslave and lower them; but see how instantly they rose + to the touch of the true Man, just as they will rise, the + women of to-day, to the touch of the true manhood of your + sons, if you will train them to be to us such men as Jesus + Christ was. See how He made women His friends, and deigned + to accept their ministry to His human needs. Many severe + rebukes are recorded from His lips to men, but not one to a + woman. It was a woman, ay, even a degraded woman, who by her + kisses and her tears smote the Rock of Ages and the water of + life flowed forth for the world, who won for the world the + words: "He who hath been forgiven much loveth much," and the + burden of guilt is changed into the burden of Love. It was + to a woman He first gave the revelation of life, that He + first revealed Himself as the Water of Life, and first + uttered the words, "I am the Resurrection and the Life." It + was women who remained faithful when all forsook Him and + fled. It was a woman who was the last to whom He spoke on + the cross, to a woman that the first words were spoken of + His risen life. It was a woman He made His first messenger + of the risen life to the world. Nothing in the life of the + true Man on earth stands out in more marked features than, + if I may venture to use the words, His faith in women, as if + to stamp it forever as an attribute of all true manhood, + that without which a man cannot be a man.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_114" + id="Page_114"></a>Now, side by side with this attitude of + the true Man, this perfect loyalty to all womanhood as such, + ay, even degraded womanhood, place the present debased + attitude of men, even of some Christian men, which we are + looking to you mothers of boys to change <i>in toto</i>. Is + not a powerful writer in the <i>Westminster Review</i> right + when he says, "There is not found a chivalrous respect for + womanhood as such. That a woman has fallen is not the + trumpet call to every noble and wise-hearted man to raise + her up again as speedily as may be; rather it is the signal + to deepen her degradation and to doom her to moral death." + Is it not a received code even among Americans as well as + Englishmen that if a woman knows how to respect and protect + herself men are to respect her—it is only a scoundrel + that will dare to say an insulting word to her? But if she + is a bit fast and giddy, if she has little or no respect for + herself, if her foolish feet have slipped ever so little, + then she is fair game. "She gave him encouragement; what + else could she expect? It was her own fault." To expect that + any man with an ounce of true manhood in him would at once + say, "That young girl does not in the least realize the + danger she is in, and I must get between her and the edge of + the precipice, and see that she comes to no + harm."—this would be to expect the wildly impossible. + Have we not made up our mind that the beast and not the + Christ is our master here; and does not every beast spring + at once on a fallen <a name="Page_115" + id="Page_115"></a>prey? It is human nature, and you will + never get men to think and act any differently. As to faith + in man as such, not only in the church-going man, but in the + rough-spoken fisherman, the contemned publican, the infidel + Samaritan, faith in his power of recognizing and rising to + the truth, the higher standard placed before him, + <i>that</i> I sometimes think lies buried in that Eastern + garden—in the Sepulchre "wherein never man yet + lay."<a name="FNanchor_22_22" + id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" + class="fnanchor">[22]</a> And yet it is the man as revealed + in Jesus Christ, not the man as fashioned by the world, with + its low traditions and low public opinion, that is true to + human nature. In moments of excitement or danger he reverts + to this true nature, which has been so warped and overlaid + by the world. In the great mass meetings which I held for + the purpose of pleading with men to come over on my side and + help me in the work of saving women from the awful doom to + which men sentence them, I used to bring this home by saying + to them: "If a fire were to break out in this vast hall, who + would be the first person that you would try to save? It + would be me because I am a woman"; and the roar of assent + that burst forth from all parts of the building showed that + I had struck home. I used to bring before them—and the + sooner you bring it before your boys the better—the + conduct of the men on the ill-fated + <i>Birkenhead</i>—ah! dear men, voiceless and + <a name="Page_116" + id="Page_116"></a>nameless, and lost in that "vast and + wandering grave" into which they sank, what have they not + done to raise the tone of England? You will possibly + remember that the <i>Birkenhead</i>, with a troop of our + soldiers on board, struck and foundered not far from land. + The women and children were at once crowded into the boats, + and it was only when, in a few minutes, the ship began to + settle that the cry was heard among the men, "To the boats! + to the boats! every man for himself!" But the officer in + command stood up and shouted, "What! and swamp the women and + children? Die rather!" And those men did die. Drawn up in + military array, without moving a muscle, those men sank into + the bitter waters of death, that the women and children + might live.<a name="FNanchor_23_23" + id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" + class="fnanchor">[23]</a> That I contend is man's true + nature, to love the woman, and, if needs be, to give himself + for her.</p> + + <p>It is, therefore, to recognize and strengthen this true + nature of man, to get it deeper into him, and not to get it out + of him, as I cannot but feel we have hitherto more or less + done, to train your boys in this perfect loyalty to all + womanhood as such; and to send forth <a name="Page_117" + id="Page_117"></a>men into the world to "die rather" than + save themselves at the cost of a woman, to "die rather" than + drive a woman down into those deep waters of degradation and + death, that we look to the mothers of the future as the sole + hope of the world. I say again you have got to see that they + learn in relation to their own sisters what they have to + practise towards all women, however humble, ay, and however + degraded, in their future life. As the great English oaks + are built up of tiny cells, so this true manliness must be + built up by a mother's watchful use of a thousand small + daily incidents—by what Wordsworth rightly calls the + best part of a good man's life—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"His little daily, unremembered + acts<br /></span> <span class="i1">Of kindness and of + love."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>In themselves they seem almost too trivial to + mention:—the easy chair instinctively given up on the + sister's entrance; the door opened for any woman passing out; + the cap removed in the presence of ladies, even though those + ladies are his own relatives; the deck-chair taken out by the + seaside to make the mother comfortable; the favorite + cricket-match given up if an expedition has been fixed in which + his services are needed; the window raised and the door shut on + leaving a railway-carriage in which women are travelling, so as + not to expose them to draught; and, when men-servants are not + kept, the sister's bicycle cleaned or the skates + <a name="Page_118" + id="Page_118"></a>polished—all those "little daily, + unremembered acts" of knightly service which the mere + presence of a woman ought to inspire in a man.</p> + + <p>I am well aware that here again, as Mr. Philip Hamerton + points out, the boarding-school presents a difficulty. As he + says, "The worst of the distant school system is that it + deprives the home residence that remains of all beneficial + discipline; for the boys are guests during the holidays, and + the great business is to amuse them."<a name="FNanchor_24_24" + id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" + class="fnanchor">[24]</a></p> + + <p>But surely this needs only to be mentioned to be remedied. + You do not make your boys happier during their holidays by + making them selfish: what is really a novelty to a schoolboy, + fresh from the association with boys only, is to have sisters + to look after and a mother to depend upon him for all sorts of + little services. A joyous exclamation on your part, "Oh, what a + comfort it is to have a boy in the house to do things for one!" + will make him swell with manly pride; and should he show the + least tendency to put upon his sisters and make them fetch and + carry for him, as they are only too willing to do, you can + easily put a stop to that by a few caustic remarks that you + don't want savages in your house; and a pointed use of that + delightful story in one of the White Cross + papers,<a name="FNanchor_25_25" + id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" + class="fnanchor">[25]</a> of the Zulu chief to whom the + Government sent a propitiatory <a name="Page_119" + id="Page_119"></a>present of wagons and wheelbarrows, + thinking that it would be sure to please him. But he gazed + on them with fine scorn, exclaiming: "What's the use of + those things for carrying our burdens when we have plenty of + women!" Or you can use that equally good story, told by Sir + John Lubbock at a sectional meeting of the British + Association for the Promotion of Science, of a remote tribe + of savages who had never seen a bullock, and when the white + man arrived with his bullock wagons, after much perplexed + discussion, they came to the conclusion that, as they were + used for heavy loads, they must be the white man's + wives!</p> + + <p>A little wholesome, if incisive, raillery on your part will + quickly extinguish any tendency to make willing slaves of his + sisters. If, however, you prefer to indulge your foolish + fondness for him, that subtle self-indulgence which makes it + easier for you to sacrifice yourself and his sisters to him + rather than discipline him to work out his true nature, + remember you gratify yourself at his most cruel cost. You + produce the boy whose youth is marked by a tacit contempt for + girls and whose manhood will be disfigured by a light + estimation of the beauty and sanctity of womanhood.</p> + + <p>I know well I shall be told that all this is quite out of + date; that modern girls are so independent that they stand in + no need of brothers, but like to place themselves on a level + with them and share as good comrades in all their + rough-and-tumble games. Let us be of good <a name="Page_120" + id="Page_120"></a>cheer. Sex is a very ancient institution, + the slow evolution of hundreds of centuries, and is in no + danger of being obliterated by the fashion of a day. Take + the most advanced "new woman"; yes, concealed under that + virile shirt-front, unchoked by that manly necktie and + turned-up collar, lurking beneath that masculine billy-cock; + nay, hidden somewhere deeper down than the pockets of even + those male knickerbockers, you will find the involuntary + pleasurable thrill at a strong man's chivalrous attention, + the delicious sense of a man's care and protection, which + centuries and centuries of physical weakness have woven into + the very tissues of her being, in however loud and strident + a voice she may deny it. Whatever changes in the position of + women may take place, the basic fact remains, and will + always remain, the man is stronger than the woman, and his + strength is given him to serve the weaker; and you have got + to get your girls to be your fellow-helpers in developing + all that is best and most chivalrous in their brothers, and + not so to run riot in their independence as to substitute a + boyish camaraderie for the exquisite relations of the true + man to the true woman.</p> + + <p>There rises up now before me a boy, one of those delightful + English boys overflowing with pluck and spirits. His mother had + come to one of my meetings, and, like so many other mothers, I + am thankful to say, had received a lifelong impression from + what I said <a name="Page_121" + id="Page_121"></a>with regard to the training of boys, and + she resolved, there and then, to act upon my advice with her + own boys. She told me some two years after, that this boy + had come in late one afternoon and explained to her that a + little girl had asked him to direct her to rather an + out-of-the-way house. "I thought she might ask that question + of some one who would tell her wrong, or that she might come + to some harm, so I thought I had better go with her and see + her safe to the house." "But what of the cricket-match that + you wanted so to see?" his mother asked. "Oh, I had to give + that up. There wasn't time for both."</p> + + <p>On another occasion, when a Christmas-tree was being + prepared in the schoolroom for some choristers, as he and his + mother left at dusk a chorister tried to force himself past her + and gain a private view; and when she refused him admittance, + not recognizing who she was, called her a very disrespectful + name. Instantly the boy flew at him like a little tiger, "How + dare you speak to my mother like that!" "I didn't see it was + your mother," the chorister pleaded, trying to ward off the + blows. "But you saw it was a woman, and somebody's mother, and + you dare to speak to her like that!" And such a storm of + fisticuffs fell on every part of that hulking young chorister's + person as forced him at last to cry for mercy and promise that + he would never do so again. That boy's master wrote to his + mother towards the end of his school-time—he was + a<a name="Page_122" + id="Page_122"></a> Bluecoat boy—and said that he + positively dreaded his leaving, as his influence on the side + of everything good, and pure, and high was quite that of a + master.</p> + + <p>And now I come to the question of religious teaching, which + you may be surprised that I have not put first of all. First of + all, in one sense, I do put it. There can be no greater + safeguard to purity of life than vital religion. I do not go so + far as some evangelical mothers who have told me that nothing + less than the conversion of their boys would be of the least + avail to keep them morally straight; on the contrary, I have + known men who have never come under any strong religious + influence, but have grown up sceptical scientific men, yet who + have led lives as pure as any woman's. Common manhood, with the + "Light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world"; + common love for mother and sister, which for their sakes maketh + it impossible to wrong their womanhood, even when fallen into + the dust; common self-respect, which is so strong in some men, + and makes them shrink from anything in the nature of mud, is + often sufficient to accomplish this end. But still, when all is + said, if in answer to your mother's prayers you can implant in + your boy a sense of the Divine Presence and the cry of the + quickened conscience, "How can I do this great sin and + wickedness against God?" you have doubtless given him the best + panoply against the fiery darts of temptation. Only I would + again warn you that there <a name="Page_123" + id="Page_123"></a>must be no forcing of the religious + emotions, no effort to gather the fruits of the spirit + before the root, in the shape of the great cardinal virtues + everywhere presupposed in Christian ethics, has been + nourished, and strengthened, and watered into strong, + healthy growth. We have to bear in mind our Lord's words, + which it seems to me religious parents sometimes forget, + that there is an order of growth in spiritual things as in + natural—first the blade, then the ear, and then the + full corn in the ear; and we are not to try to force the + full corn in the ear before the stalk and the blade have + grown. For the want of laying to heart these words of the + great Teacher, I have known much pulpy, emotional religion + engrafted on young souls—admirably adapted to exhaust + the soil, but with the smallest possible bearing upon right + conduct; a religion perfectly at its ease with much scamping + of lessons and hard work in general; indulgent of occasional + cribbing, and of skilful manipulation of awkward truth, of + betting and small extravagances; and innocent of all sense + of dishonesty in allowing a struggling parent to pay large + sums for education while the school-time so purchased, often + at the cost of home comforts and pleasant outings, is + squandered in idleness.</p> + + <p>What a boy really needs, and, indeed, all immature + things—for I found it equally true of immature + men—is a simple, practical religion, based more on the + facts of life and conscience than on doctrines and + dogmas.<a name="Page_124" + id="Page_124"></a> To know God as his Father; to know that + he has a Redeemer who laid down His life to save him from + sin and who takes account of his smallest and most broken + effort to do what is right; to realize that it is only so + far as he is like Christ and in Christ that he can be really + a man and work out what is highest in him; to know that he + has been baptized into a Divine Society, binding him to + fight against all wrong, both within and in the world + without; above all, to know that there is a supreme + spiritual Power within him and about him to enable him to do + right, and that in the line of duty "I can't" is a lie in + the lips that repeat, "I believe in the Holy Ghost"; this is + as much as his young soul can assimilate, not as mere + religious phrases, but as realities to live by.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"So nigh to glory is our + dust,<br /></span> <span class="i1">So nigh to God is + man,<br /></span> <span class="i0">When duty whispers + low 'Thou must,'<br /></span> <span class="i1">The soul + replies, 'I can.'"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>But see that beneath all this he has the special Christian + teaching with regard to the sanctity of the body thoroughly + instilled into him. If the Incarnation means anything, it means + not the salvation and sanctification of a ghost, but the + salvation and consecration of the whole man, of his body as + well as his soul. True, the animal body to a spiritual being + must always be a "body of humiliation," but nothing can be more + unfortunate and misleading than the epithet in + the<a name="Page_125" + id="Page_125"></a> Authorized Version of "vile" as a + translation of the Greek word used by St. Paul. On the + contrary, we are taught that even this mortal body is a + temple of the Holy Ghost.</p> + + <p>In teaching this there can be no difficulty; you can make + use of a child's natural reverence for a church. You can say, + "What would you think if you heard of some loose lads breaking + into a church, and just for the fun of the thing strewing the + aisles with cinder dust and all sorts of loose rubbish; tearing + out the pages of Bibles and hymn-books to light their pipes, + and getting drunk out of the chalice? You would be honestly + shocked at such profanity. Nay, even in the dire exigencies of + war we do not think better of the Germans for having stabled + their horses in one of the French churches and left their + broken beer-bottles on the high altar and the refuse of a + stable strewn up and down the nave. Yet a church is, after all, + only a poor earthly building, built by human hands. But there + is one temple which God has built for Himself, the temple of + man's body; and of that the terrible words are written, and + ever fulfilled, "If any man defile that temple, him will God + destroy." God's great gift of speech is not to be defiled by + dirty talk, by profane language, by lies, or evil speaking. The + organs which are given us for its sustenance are not to be + denied by gluttony and piggishness, either in food or drink. + The boy is not to use any part of his body in defiling ways + which he would <a name="Page_126" + id="Page_126"></a>be ashamed for his own mother to know of. + To do so is not only to defile, but—with the double + meaning of the Greek word, which we cannot render into + English—to destroy; to weaken his brain-power, which + he wants for his work in life, to weaken his nervous system, + lessening his strength thereby and rendering him less able + to excel in athletics, and often, if carried to excess, in + after-life bringing results which are the very embodiment of + the terrible words, "Him will God destroy." The full force + and bearing of this teaching he may not apprehend. I have + already said that with a young boy the lower appeal never to + do anything that is low and dirty and blackguardly will have + far more practical weight, and will also avoid laying undue + stress on the religious emotions. But I am quite sure that + the Christian teaching of the sanctity of the body must be + laid deep and strong with all the force of early impression + in a boy's inmost being, in order that it may lie ready for + future use when Nature has developed those instincts of + manhood which will teach him its full significance.</p> + + <p>If you are an Episcopalian, you will of course find the time + of your boy's confirmation simply invaluable as one of those + turning-points which will enable you to speak, or possibly + write, more unreservedly than is possible on more ordinary + occasions. I would earnestly ask you to give him a little White + Cross confirmation paper called <i>Purity the Guard of + Manhood</i>, <a name="Page_127" + id="Page_127"></a>a paper which an Eton master pronounced + the best thing he had met with of the kind, and which has + been widely used. Do not rest content with merely giving the + paper in a perfunctory way, but follow it up with a few + living, earnest words of your own.</p> + + <p>Of course I should do a wrong to your womanly instincts if I + were to think it necessary to say that the inculcation of + purity must be always in a mother's heart, but only on her lips + on some marked occasions, such as the first going to school, + the last day of the holidays, or when your boy himself gives + the occasion by some question he may ask you, but above all + when he reaches a critical age, when a few words from your own + lips will be worth all the printed pages in the world. Only + ever and always make it an essential element of his idea of + manliness to be pure, and do not forget constantly to couple + the words "brave and pure," or "manly and pure," or "pure and + high character," in his hearing; that he may be endued, not + with that pale, emasculate thing that passes muster for purity + nowadays, which always seems to me chiefly conscious of its own + indecency, full of the old nervous "touch not, taste not, + handle not" spirit, bandaged up with this restriction and that + lest it fall to pieces, and when it comes to saving another + from defilement in body and soul shuffling uneasily into a pair + of lavender kid-gloves and muttering something about its being + "such a very delicate subject"—nay, not + <a name="Page_128" + id="Page_128"></a>this, but that militant sun-clad power + which Milton dreamed of, rushing down like a sword of God to + smite everything low, and base and impure; a purity as of + mountain water or living fire, whose very nature it is, not + only to be pure itself, but to destroy impurity in + others.</p> + + <h4>V</h4> + + <p>And now let me throw together two or three practical + suggestions, which will probably be superfluous to the most + experienced mothers, but may be useful to younger and more + inexperienced parents.</p> + + <p>In the first place, I think there are few of the heads of + the medical profession who would not agree with me that our + English dietary is too stimulating and too abundant. Sir Andrew + Clark certainly held that a large proportion of our diseases + spring from over-eating and over-drinking. I don't suppose that + for a boy it so much matters, as he is eating for "edification" + as well as for sustenance, for the building up of his walls as + well as for the nutrition of his existing frame. But "the boy + is father to the man," and I would ask you not to accustom your + boys to a rich dietary, as the habit once formed will be + prolonged into early manhood, and undoubtedly such stimulating + diet does greatly increase the temptations with which young men + have to contend. It is perfectly unnecessary for the developing + of strength and stature, as is shown by the splendid Scotchmen + who yearly carry off some of our highest <a name="Page_129" + id="Page_129"></a>university distinctions and + prizes—many of them farmer lads who have scarcely + tasted meat in their boyhood, but have been brought up on + the simple farinaceous food of the country. There was much + force and meaning in the quaint congratulatory telegram sent + by a friend to a Cambridge Senior Wrangler hailing from + Scotland, "Three cheers for the parritge!" And that curious + and most impressive fact which Mr. Bayard, the late American + Ambassador, hunted up for our edification from various + dictionaries of biography—the fact, namely, that a + large proportion of our most eminent men spring from the + homes of the poorer clergy, where certainly sumptuous fare + and much meat do not obtain, is a proof that abstemious + living, while forming a valuable discipline for the soul, + does not injure but promotes the health of the body and the + strength of the brain. Our having given up the religious + uses of fasting I often think is a loss to young men; and it + might, therefore, be as well if we were to imitate our + "Corybantic" brethren, the Salvationists, and institute a + week of self-denial, leaving the children to work out an + economical dietary, with due care on our part that it should + be fairly nutritious, and allowing them to give what they + have saved from the ordinary household expenses to any cause + in which they may be interested. It would give them a + wholesome lesson in self-denial and cheap living; both + lessons much needed in these luxurious days. But + <a name="Page_130" + id="Page_130"></a>whether this suggestion finds favor or + not, we have always to bear in mind that "plain living" is + the necessary companion of "high thinking"—the lowly + earth-born twin who waits upon her heavenly sister.</p> + + <p>On the vexed question of the use of alcohol there was but + one point on which there was a consensus of opinion in the + discussion by our leading medical men, which appeared some + years ago in the pages of the <i>Contemporary Review</i>. The + point upon which they were all agreed was that alcohol is + injurious to children, and if the boy has been accustomed from + his early youth to do without it, and, as he grows up, remains + a total abstainer, there is no question that his abstinence + will prove a great safeguard; though I cannot go as far as some + of my abstaining friends, who seem to regard the use of alcohol + as the root of what must, in the nature of things, be one of + the strongest primal passions of human nature, and therefore + liable to abuse, whether men are total abstainers or not. + Anyhow, though a lad can be trained to strict moderation, + abstinence in both alcohol and tobacco must after a time come + of the lad's own free will; the last thing that answers is to + multiply and enforce restrictions; the rebound is inevitable + and often fatal. But I do say that where there is a great + pinching in the home in order to afford the educational + advantages of school and university, it does show some radical + defect in the training of our <a name="Page_131" + id="Page_131"></a>boys that they should indulge in such + expensive habits, especially the expensive and wholly + unnecessary habit of smoking, when the dear mother and young + sisters are doing without many a little home comfort in + order to meet the expense of the young rascal's education. + One rich old grandmother whom I met abroad promised each of + her grandsons fifty pounds if they would give up smoking; + and it was marvellous how that stern necessity of doing as + other young men do disappeared like their own tobacco smoke + before the promise of that fifty pounds for their own + pockets! They were all able to claim it one after the other. + If boys were not trained by their mothers to be + systematically selfish, might not the home-claims in the + heart be as strong as those fifty pounds in the pocket?</p> + + <p>Secondly, with regard to betting and gambling, which may be + classed with drinking, as the fruitful parent of bad company, + and a <i>descensus ad infernum</i>:—do you not think a + boy may be best guarded against a habit of betting, which is so + likely to lead on to gambling, by taking the same line as a boy + of my acquaintance took with his mother when she was warning + him against it: "Well, mother, you see, it always does seem so + mean to me to get a fellow's money from him without giving him + anything in return; it always does seem so like prigging, and + some of our fellows are awfully hard up, and can't afford to + lose a penny." Mr. Gladstone was evidently of the same opinion + when <a name="Page_132" + id="Page_132"></a>he once said to his private secretary, Sir + Edward Hamilton, that he "regarded gambling as nothing short + of damnable. What can be the fun of winning other people's + money?" This strikes me as a way of putting it which would + appeal most forcibly to a boy; and if, in addition, we were + to point out to him that, like all shady things, it has a + tendency to grow and sharpen the man into a sharper and + develop the blood-sucking apparatus of a leech, besides + bringing wretchedness and misery on others, he might be led + to resist the first beginnings of a betting habit which may + lead on to gambling in after years.</p> + + <p>And here I would say that the absolute absence of any + training given to a boy in the right use and value of money, + which has obtained till lately in our English schools, is + surely suicidal and must lend itself to every form of abuse. I + do not know whether it is the same with you, but many of our + boys know money only in the form of pocket-money, when it + becomes to him a metal token mostly signifying so much "tuck"; + becoming, as he grows older, more and more deleterious "tuck" + in the shape of billiards, betting, etc., and ending in a + general going "on tick," which is worse still. But in this + matter we are improving. I think most sensible parents nowadays + place a small sum at their bank to the boy's account, with a + check-book, making him responsible at first for small articles + of clothing, neckties, shirt-collars, etc, and as soon as he + <a name="Page_133" + id="Page_133"></a>shows himself trustworthy, for all his + expenses except school bills. The boy is expected to keep + accounts, get nothing without first asking the price, and to + bring his receipted bills at the end of the term to his + father, and see that they tally with his foils; and, above + all, always to pay in ready money—unpaid bills being + contemplated in the bald light of shop-lifting. To this I + would add, if possible, the habit of giving the Jewish + tenth, so as to make giving a steady principle, and not a + hap-hazard impulse.</p> + + <p>Thirdly, it is a vital point to give your boys interesting + pursuits. There is great force in the rough old saying, "Never + give the devil an empty chair to sit down upon, and you won't + be much troubled with his company." Vice is constantly only + idleness which has turned bad,—idleness being + emphatically a thing that will not keep, but turns rotten. It + is not the great industrial centres of our population that are + chiefly ravaged by vice; it is the fashionable watering-places, + the fashionable quarters of large towns, where idle men + congregate, in which it is a "pestilence that walketh in + darkness," and slays its thousands of young girls. "Empty by + filling," has always been a favorite motto of mine. How many a + young man has been driven to betting, drinking, and the + race-course from the want of something of interest to fill his + unoccupied hours, because more wholesome tastes have never been + developed in him! Of course, tastes must be to a certain + <a name="Page_134" + id="Page_134"></a>degree inborn, but I am quite sure that + many a taste perishes, like a frost-bitten bud, full of the + promise of blossom and fruit, because it has never been + given the opportunity to develop.</p> + + <p>Take a boy's innate love of collecting. Could you not + develop it by the offer of a little prize for the best + collection of dried flowers, of butterflies or insects, of + birds' eggs, even, in some cases, of geological specimens, but, + in any case, with the scientific and common names attached; so + forming a healthy taste for natural history, which may be a + source of perpetual interest and profit in after-life? Do not + let your dislike of destroying life interfere; reverence for + life can be as well, nay, better taught by insisting that only + the necessary specimens should be given of each species, only + one or two eggs taken from the nest, and the nest itself + disturbed as little as possible. Chemistry and electricity also + appeal to a boy's love of experimentizing and of making + electrical contrivances, easily constructed of the commonest + materials. As to hand-work, the lack of which in ill-health has + made so many a man a torment both to himself and others, there + ought to be no difficulty with regard to that. Carpentering, + wood-carving, repoussé-work in metal, bent-iron work, mosaic + work, any of these, except possibly the last, may be set on + foot with very little expense, besides drawing, modelling, etc. + Where there are sufficient means it would be a good thing if + boys were taught, as far as may be, how things + <a name="Page_135" + id="Page_135"></a>are made and the amount of toil that goes + into the simplest article. I remember giving a small + printing-press to a boy of ours—an excellent gift, by + the by, for a lad, and it can be had for five or six + shillings—and his coming to me soon after with a + match-box in his hand, exclaiming with wonderment, "Why, + auntie, there are six different kinds of type on this + match-box!" If they could learn how to build, how rafters + and joists are put in, and construct as much as a miniature + summer-house in the garden, how useful this being able to + turn their hands to anything might prove to them in their + after-life. And with what added respect they would look upon + all labor if they had never looked upon it as the part of a + "gentleman" to stand aloof from it.</p> + + <p>Lastly, but not least, I would plead most earnestly for the + frequent home-letter, should your boy be sent to a + boarding-school. If you would have him resist the temptations + of school life, keep the home as close to his heart and as + present to his mind as you can. Make it your first and + paramount duty to write every day if you can, if not every + other day, at least twice a week.</p> + + <p>Do not misunderstand me here. God knows I do not go in for + the devoted mother who thinks of nothing but her boys and to + whom the whole world besides is nothing but an empty flourish + of the pen about their names. Such mothers are like Chinese + teacups, with <a name="Page_136" + id="Page_136"></a>no perspective and everything out of + proportion; where the Mandarin is as big as the Pagoda, and + suffers from a pathetic inability to get in at his own door. + You must see things in moral perspective in order to train + character on large and noble lines. And it is from the rough + quarry of the outside world, with its suffering and sin, + that you must fetch the most precious stones for the + building up of true manhood or womanhood. The sooner + children are taught that their small concerns must be + subordinated at times to the needs of the sick, the poor, + and the suffering, the better for them. For a mother, + therefore, to undertake <i>some</i> outside work may and + will prove the best element in their education, enabling + them in their turn to live in relation with the world in + which God has placed them and do their part in the service + of humanity.</p> + + <p>All that I mean is, do not so crowd your life with outside + work or social engagements as to have no time to spare for this + daily or at least bi-weekly letter to the boys at school. Bear + in mind that the most important work you can do for the world + is the formation of noble character, building it up stone by + stone as you alone can do. Do not be too busy to make yourself + your boy's friend and throw yourself heartily into all that + interests him. I have known philanthropic mothers to whom + cricket was nothing but an unmeaning scurrying backwards and + forwards, and who scarcely knew the stern of a boat from its + bows!</p> + + <p><a name="Page_137" + id="Page_137"></a>And what a liberal education a mother's + home-letters to her boys at school might be made! The + stirring incident in the newspapers, the fine passage in the + book, a verse or two of a noble poem, as well as all the + loving thought and prayer that is for ever flying like + homing birds to the dear absent lads, and the inculcation of + all things lovely and pure and manly, brightened by home + jokes and the health of the last cherished pet—all + these things might go to make up the home letters. Above + all, what an opportunity it would give for pleading the + cause of the little chaps who, by some strange insanity + working in the brain of the British parent, are sent into + the rough world of a large school when they are fitter for + the nursery, and whom you might appeal to your boys to look + after and protect, so far as they are able; and not only + these, but to side with every boy who is being bullied for + acting up to his conscience or because he has not the pluck + to stand up for himself.</p> + + <p>In conclusion, I would earnestly ask you to believe in your + own power when united to the knowledge which is necessary to + direct it. "A man is what a woman makes him," says the old saw. + Look back upon the men you have known who have been touched to + finest issues, and you will find, with few exceptions, that + they are the shaping of a noble woman's hands—a noble + mother, a noble wife, a noble sister. Doubt not, but earnestly + believe that with those wonderful shaping <a name="Page_138" + id="Page_138"></a>hands of yours you can mould that boy of + yours into the manhood of Sir Galahad, "whose strength was + as the strength of ten because his heart was pure"; that you + can send him forth into the world like King Arthur, of whom + our own poet, Spenser, says, that the poorest, the most + unprotected girl could feel that</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"All the while he by his side her + bore<br /></span> <span class="i0">She was as safe as + in a sanctuary."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>Nay, may I not go further still and say that by the grace of + God you can send him forth "made of a woman" in the image of + the strong and tender Manhood of Jesus Christ, to Whom even the + poor lost girls out of the street could come and know that here + was a Man who would not drag them down, but lift them up; + believing in Whom, clinging to Whom, trusting in Whom, they + grew no longer lost and degraded, but splendid saints of the + Christian Church.</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_139" + id="Page_139"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_11_11" + id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label"> + [11]</span></a> <i>Morality in Public Schools</i>, by + Dr. Butler, Master of Trinity College, Cambridge, and + late Head-Master of Harrow.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_12_12" + id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label"> + [12]</span></a> <i>The Preservation of Health</i>, by + Clement Dukes, M.D., M.R.C.S., Howard Medallist, + Statistical Society of London, p. 150.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_13_13" + id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label"> + [13]</span></a> <i>Ibid.</i>, p. 157.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_14_14" + id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label"> + [14]</span></a> <i>A Confidential Talk with the Boys of + America</i>, by J.M. Dick. Fleming H. Revell Co.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_15_15" + id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label"> + [15]</span></a> See Appendix.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_16_16" + id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label"> + [16]</span></a> See <i>Parents' Review</i>, No. 5, + July, 1895, p. 351.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_17_17" + id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label"> + [17]</span></a> have quoted here from <i>The Ascent of + Man</i> by Professor Drummond, pp. 292, 293; but any + standard work on botany will give you the method of the + fertilization of plants in greater detail.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_18_18" + id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label"> + [18]</span></a> <i>Ibid.</i>, p. 310.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_19_19" + id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label"> + [19]</span></a> Erroneously called neuter, as in + reality it is an imperfectly developed female, and is + only capable of producing males.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_20_20" + id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label"> + [20]</span></a> I owe my first clear apprehension of + the gradual evolution of the preservative and + altruistic elements in nature, arising from the + struggle for existence, to a sermon of Dr. Abbott's + called <i>The Manifestation of the Son of God</i>, now, + I fear, out of print. Of course Darwin recognized these + factors as a necessary complement to the survival of + the fittest, else had there been no fittest to survive; + but the exigencies of proving his theory of the origin + of species necessitated his dwelling on the destructive + and weeding-out elements of Nature—"Nature red in + tooth and claw," rather than the equally pervasive + Nature of the brooding wing and the flowing breast. Had + not Professor Drummond unfortunately mixed it up with a + good deal of extraneous sentiment, his main thesis + would scarcely have been impugned.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_21_21" + id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label"> + [21]</span></a> In case this method of teaching should + seem to some mothers too difficult, I intend to embody + it in a simple "Mother's Talk on Life and Birth," which + a mother can read with her boys.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_22_22" + id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label"> + [22]</span></a> See a White Cross paper of mine called + <i>My Little Sister</i>. Wells Gardner, Darton and Co., + London.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_23_23" + id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label"> + [23]</span></a> Twice since the wreck of the + <i>Birkenhead</i> has the same true manhood been + evinced on the high seas in the face of almost certain + death—once in the wreck of the troopship, the + <i>Warren Hastings</i>, and again by the crew and the + civilian passengers of the <i>Stella</i>. Perfect order + was maintained, and though, ultimately all the men were + saved, not a man stirred hand or foot to save himself + till the women and children had first been safely got + on shore.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_24_24" + id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label"> + [24]</span></a> <i>French and English</i>, by Philip + Hamerton, p. 44.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_25_25" + id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label"> + [25]</span></a> <i>The British Zulu</i>. Wells Gardner, + Darton and Co., London.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" + id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2> + + <h3>EARLY MANHOOD</h3> + + <p>If, in the words of the great educator I have already + quoted, the chief moral teaching and moral trend of the + character must be given in the schoolboy days, yet early + manhood presents its own fruitful field for the influence of a + mother on the side of whatsoever things are pure and lovely. + The methods of exerting this influence must change as your son + grows from a boy into a man; the inevitable reticence, the + exquisite reserve of sex, must interfere with the old boyish + confidences and with your own freedom of speech. Other + barriers, too, will most likely spring up as your son goes + forth into the world and mixes freely with other young men of + his own standing. Whether it be at college, or in the army, or + in business, he will inevitably be influenced by the views of + the men he associates with, which he will enlarge into the + opinion of the world in general, and will probably come home, + if not to contradict his mother, at least to patronize her and + go his own way, smiling at her with an air of manly superiority + and with a lofty consciousness that he knows a thing or two + which lie beyond a woman's <a name="Page_140" + id="Page_140"></a>ken. Probably enough he takes up with + views on religion, or politics, or social questions which + are emphatically not yours, and which make you feel left + very far behind, instead of the old familiar "walking + together" which was so sweet. Worse still, he may evince for + a time a cynical indifference to all great questions, and + all your teaching may seem to be lost in a desert flat. The + days of the latch-key and the independent life have come, + and you often seem to stand outside the walls which once + admitted you into their dearest recesses, left with but + little clue as to what is going on within.</p> + + <p>But have patience. Early teaching and influence, though it + may pass for a time into abeyance, is the one thing that leaves + an indelible impress which will in the end make itself felt, + only waiting for those eternal springs which well up sooner or + later in every life to burst into upward growth; it may be a + pure attachment, it may be a great sorrow, it may be a sickness + almost unto death, it may be some awakening to spiritual + realities. I often think of that pathetic yet joyful + resurrection cry, "This is our God, we have waited for + Him"—waited for Him, possibly through such long years of + disappointment and heart hunger—only to cry at the last, + "This is our God, we have waited for Him, and He has saved + us."</p> + + <p>But it is not all waiting. If with early manhood the "old + order" has to give place to new, and old methods + <a name="Page_141" + id="Page_141"></a>and instruments have to be laid aside as + no longer fitted for their task, God puts into the hands of + the mother new instruments, new methods of appeal, which in + some ways are more powerful than the old. In early manhood + she can appeal to the thought of the future wife. I believe + that this appeal is one of the strongest that you can bring + to bear upon young men.</p> + + <p>I once had to make it myself under circumstances of + unparalleled difficulty; and I was struck with the profound + response that it evoked. It was on the occasion of the + inaugural White Cross address to the students of the Edinburgh + University, now one of the first medical schools in the world. + The date of the address had been fixed, the hall taken, when an + unforeseen difficulty arose. Eminent man after eminent man was + asked to give the address, but all with one consent began to + make excuse. Spirit and flesh quailed before so difficult and + rowdy an audience on so difficult and perilous a subject. At + last the professor who was chiefly interested implored me to + give the address myself, or the whole thing would go by + default. Under these circumstances I had no choice but to do + so. But as I sat in the committee room while the order of the + meeting was being arranged, and heard my audience shouting, + singing, crowing like cocks, whistling like parrots, + caterwauling like cats, and keeping up a continuous uproar, I + thought to myself, "I have got to go into that, and control it + somehow so as to be heard"; I confess I <a name="Page_142" + id="Page_142"></a>did feel wrecked upon God. Professor + Maclagan, who took the chair, agreed that a prayer was + impossible, a hymn was equally out of the question. The only + thing was to push me at once to the front; and almost + immediately after a few very brief words from the + distinguished chairman I found myself face to face with an + audience that evidently meant mischief. By some instinct I + told them at once about James Hinton, whom, of course, they + knew by name as the first aurist of his day; how, with all + that this life could give him, he had died of a broken + heart, a heart broken over the lost and degraded womanhood + of England, the hosts of young girls slain in body and soul + whom he met with at night in our terrible streets. This + seemed to strike and sober them, that a man should actually + die over a thing which to all of them was so familiar and to + many had been only the subject of a coarse jest. + Fortunately, there is a stage of nervous terror which rounds + again on desperate courage, and having once got hold of my + audience, I determined to use the occasion to the uttermost + and venture on the most perilous ground. In the course of my + address I asked them to take notice of a great silent change + that was taking place all round them in the position of + women, the full significance of which they might not have + grasped. Everywhere women were leaving the seclusion of + their homes and were quietly coming forward and taking their + place by their side in the great work of the world. I + thanked <a name="Page_143" + id="Page_143"></a>them for the generous welcome that they + had accorded them. But had they seized the full meaning, the + ulterior bearings of this changed attitude in women, and the + wider knowledge of the world that it brought with it? Not so + long ago it was an understood thing that women should know + nothing of the darker side of life; and there was nothing + dishonorable in a man keeping the woman he loved in + ignorance of the darker side of his own past, if such there + were. But in the greater knowledge that has come to women, + and the anguish some of them feel over the misery and + degradation of their lost sisters, can this attitude any + longer be maintained without conscious deception? "What + would you say," I asked, "if the woman you loved with the + whole strength of your soul passed herself off as an + undamaged article upon you, and let you worship her as the + very embodiment of all that is white and pure, when + something unspeakably sad and sinful had happened in her + past life? You know you would be half mad at the wrong done + to you if after marriage you found it out. And what are you + going to do, I ask some of you who are so careless as to the + life you lead, are <i>you</i> going to pass yourself off as + an undamaged article on the woman who loves and worships + you, and who gives herself so unreservedly to you that she + loses her very name and takes yours? Is it fair, is it + honorable, is it even manly? No, I see by your faces you are + saying, 'I don't think it is, I should have to + <a name="Page_144" + id="Page_144"></a>confess.' Well, that is better than basing + your life on a dishonorable lie. But, alas! it is no way out + of the misery. At the very moment when you would give all + you possess to be worthy of that great love she gives you, + you have to prove that you are unworthy; and the whole of + the only last gleam of Eden that is left to this poor life + of yours, the pure love of a man to a pure woman, is blotted + out with bitter and jealous tears; the trail of the serpent + is over it all. I know well that women can love, and love + passionately, impure men; but every woman will tell you that + there is <i>a</i> love that a woman can only give to a man + who has been faithful to her before marriage as well as + after; and for ever and for ever there will be a shut door + at the very heart of your Eden of which you have flung away + the key, a love that might have been yours had you kept + yourself worthy of it. There is but one way out of the + difficulty, now that in the changed position of women you + can no longer honorably keep them in the dark—to make + up your mind that you will come to the woman you love in the + glory of your unfallen manhood, as you expect her to come to + you in the beauty of her spotless maidenhood."</p> + + <p>I did not know for one moment whether they would not break + out into cooing like doves; but, on the contrary, they listened + to me with profound attention, and I could see that none of my + words went so home to them as those. When I had finished my + address a <a name="Page_145" + id="Page_145"></a>member of the committee said to one of the + professors, "I think if she had asked them to go off and + storm Edinburgh Castle they would have marched off in a body + and done it." So great is the power of a woman pleading for + women.</p> + + <p>If I could use this sacred plea with effect under + circumstances of—I think you will allow—such + unspeakable difficulty, must it not be possible to you, the + mother from whom such an appeal would come so naturally, to use + this same influence, and in the quiet Sunday walk through the + fields and woods where Nature herself seems to breathe of the + sanctity of life in every leaf and flower, or in the quiet talk + over the winter fireside before he leaves home, to plead with + your son to keep himself faithful to his future wife, so that + when he meets the woman he can love and make his wife, he may + have no shameful secrets to confess, or, worse still, to + conceal from her, no base tendencies to hand down to his unborn + children after him? Thank God! how many an American and English + wife and mother can speak here from personal experience of the + perfect love and perfect trust which have been bred of a pure + life before marriage, and a knowledge that the sacraments of + love and life had never been desecrated or defiled, so that no + shadow of distrust or suspicion can ever darken the path of her + married happiness. How powerful the pleading of such a mother + may become with her son, to give his future wife the same + <a name="Page_146" + id="Page_146"></a>perfect trust and unclouded happiness in + her husband's love!</p> + + <p>I remember in a series of allegorical pictures by an old + master in the Baptistery at Florence, how, with the divine + instinct of poets and artists, in the beautiful symbolic figure + of Hope, the painter has placed a lily in her hands. Cannot we + teach our sons that if they are to realize their dearest hope + in life, that divine hope must ever bear a lily in her hand as + the only wand that can open to them the paradise of the ideal, + the divine vision which is "the master light of all our + seeing," the deepest and most sacred joys of our life?</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">He safely walks in darkest + ways<br /></span> <span class="i1">Whose youth is + lighted from above,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Where, through the senses' silvery + haze,<br /></span> <span class="i1">Dawns the veiled + moon of nuptial love.<br /></span> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Who is the happy husband? + He<br /></span> <span class="i1">Who, scanning his + unwedded life,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Thanks + God, with all his conscience free,<br /></span> + <span class="i1">'Twas faithful to his future + wife."<a name="FNanchor_26_26" + id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" + class="fnanchor">[26]</a><br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>Again, could we not give our boys a little more teaching + about the true nature and sacredness of fatherhood? It always + strikes me that the true ethics of fatherhood are not yet born. + Were the true nature, the sacredness, and the immense + responsibilities of fatherhood really and duly recognized, men + could not look with the appalling lightness with which they do + <a name="Page_147" + id="Page_147"></a>on providing some substitute for marriage, + when they have not the means to marry in early life, and are + under the very prevalent illusion that continent men who + marry late run the risk of a childless marriage—a + notion which so great an authority as Acton pronounces to be + absolutely false physiologically, and without foundation in + fact. To bring a child into the world to whom he can perform + no one of the duties of a father, and to whom he + deliberately gives a mother with a tarnished name—a + mother who, from the initial wrong done to her and the + stigma which deprives her of the society of women, will only + too probably not stay her feet at the first wrong step, but + be drawn down that dread winding stair which ends in the + despair of a lost soul—this, I urge, would be utterly + abhorrent to every even fairly right-thinking man, instead + of the very common thing it is. Did we see it truly, it + would be a not venial sin, but an unpardonable crime.</p> + + <p>Now, surely mothers can supply some teaching here which must + be wanting for public opinion to be what it is. A quiet talk + about the high nature, the duties and responsibilities of + fatherhood cannot present any great difficulties.</p> + + <p>I remember many years ago hearing Canon Knox Little preach a + sermon in York Cathedral to a large mixed congregation, in + which he touched on this subject. At this distance of time I + can only give the freest rendering of his words, the more so as + I have so <a name="Page_148" + id="Page_148"></a>often used them in my own meetings that I + may have unconsciously moulded them after my own fashion. + "Look," he said, "at that dying father—dying in the + faith, having fought the good fight, and all heaven now + opening before his dying gaze. Yet he withdraws his thoughts + from that great hereafter to centre them upon the little lad + who stands at his bedside. His hands wander over the golden + head with</p> + + <p class="center">"'The vast sad tenderness of dying men.'</p> + + <p>He triumphs over pain and weakness that he may plot and plan + every detail of the young life which he can no longer live to + guide and direct. And when at length he seems to have passed + into the last darkness, and they hold up the child to see if he + will yet recognize him, suddenly the spirit seems to sweep back + again over the dark river which it has almost crossed, and an + ineffable light illumines the dying face as his lips meet the + lips of his little son in one last supreme kiss—the + father's love for one moment vanquishing death itself. And + what, I ask," said the preacher, in tones that thrilled that + vast audience, "must be the sin of desecrating and defiling + such a function as this, this function of fatherhood in which + man seems to touch upon God Himself and become the + representative of the Father in heaven—what must be the + guilt of turning it into a subject of filthy jests and a source + of unclean actions?"</p> + + <p>The friend with whom I was staying had brought + <a name="Page_149" + id="Page_149"></a>with her her Bible class of Industrial + School lads, and when the next day she asked what had struck + them most in the sermon, they answered promptly, "What he + said about fathers," Let us go and teach likewise.</p> + + <p>But perhaps the most precious sphere of influence is that + which comes to a mother last and latest of all—too late, + unless the moral training of all preceding years has been made + one long disciplinary preparation in self-mastery and pureness + of living, for the higher and more difficult self-control, the + far sterner discipline, of true marriage pure and undefiled. + But if through her training and influence "the white flower of + a blameless life" has been worn</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Through all the years of passion in + the blood,"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>then this is the time when her long patient sowing comes to + its golden fruitage. It is to his mother that a young man turns + as his confidant in his engagement; it is to her that he + necessarily turns for counsel and advice with regard to his + young wife in the early years of his marriage. A young man in + love is a man who can receive divine truth even of the hardest, + for love is of God, and its very nature is self-giving.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Love took up the harp of life, and + smote upon its chords with might—<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Smote the chord of self, that + trembling passed in music out of sight."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>A pure affection is an almost awful revelation in itself to + a young man of the true nature of sensual + sin.<a name="Page_150" + id="Page_150"></a> He would gladly die for the woman he + loves. And we look, therefore, to you mothers to bring into + the world that Christian ideal of marriage which at present + is practically shut up between the covers of our Bibles, + that the man is to love the woman, the husband the + wife,<a name="FNanchor_27_27" + id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" + class="fnanchor">[27]</a> "as Christ loved the Church and + gave Himself for it"; not our ideal of the self-sacrificing + woman—our patient Griseldas and Enids and all the rest + of it—but the self-sacrificing man, who is but poorly + represented in our literature at all,—the man who + loves the woman and gives himself for her, holding all the + strongest forces and passions of his nature for her good, to + crown her with perfect wifehood and perfect motherhood.</p> + + <p>This Christian ideal was doubtless intended to fulfil those + restrictions of the Levitical Law which were to safeguard the + health of the wife and secure the best conditions for the + unborn child; laws and regulations to the observance of which + the Jew doubtless owes his splendid physique and his still more + splendid mental endowments, which, though he is the fewest of + all peoples, bring him everywhere to the forefront,—in + finance, in literature, in music, in general + capacity,—and to which, I should be inclined to add, he + owes his comparatively slow rate of increase, else it is + difficult to understand the small numerical strength of this + extraordinary race; but I know that this is a disputed + <a name="Page_151" + id="Page_151"></a>point. No jot or tittle of these laws and + regulations can pass away until they are fulfilled in some + larger truth; for ignore them or not, they are founded on + physiological laws; and it is on mothers' recognizing this + larger truth in the advice they give, and on their bringing + in the Christian ideal, that the future of marriage mainly + depends, and its being made more consonant with the higher + and more independent position of women than it at present + is.</p> + + <p>Whilst the sight is so familiar of wives with health broken + down and life made a burden, possibly even premature death + incurred, by their being given no rest from the sacred duties + of motherhood, to say nothing of the health of the hapless + child born under such circumstances, can we wonder that the + modern woman often shows a marked distaste to marriage and + looks upon it as something low and sensual? Or can we wonder + that married men, with so sensual an ideal of so holy a state, + should, alas! so largely minister to the existence of an + outcast class of women?</p> + + <p>On the other hand, the remedy resorted to is often worse + than the disease. I confess I have stood aghast at the advice + given by Christian mothers, often backed up by a doctor whom + they affirm to be a Christian man, in order to save the health + of the wife or limit the increase of the family. The heads of + the profession, in England, I believe, are sound on this point, + a conference having been held some years ago by our + <a name="Page_152" + id="Page_152"></a>leading medical men to denounce all such + "fruits of philosophy" as physically injurious and morally + lowering.</p> + + <p>But if we want to know what their practical results are, the + moral gangrene they are to the national life when once they + have firmly taken hold of a nation, we have only to look across + the channel at France—France with her immense wealth, but + rapidly declining population, which in less than a century will + reduce her from a first-rate to a second-or third-rate power, + so that her statesmen have actually debated the expediency of + offering a premium on illegitimacy in the shape of free nurture + to all illegitimate children,—illegitimate citizens being + better in their estimation than no citizens at all.</p> + + <p>Would we have the Anglo-Saxon race enter on this downward + grade? If not, then let us women silently band together to + preserve the sanctity of the family, of the home, and sternly + to bar out the entrance of all that defileth—all that + sensualizes her men and enfeebles their self-mastery, all that + renders the heart of her women too craven to encounter the + burdens of being the mothers of a mighty race, flowing out into + all the lands to civilize and Christianize, and "bear the white + man's burthen."</p> + + <p>One word more, a sad and painful one, but one which comes + from my inmost heart. Do not pass by the sadder aspects of this + great moral question and <a name="Page_153" + id="Page_153"></a>refuse "to open thy mouth for the dumb," + for those "who are appointed unto destruction."</p> + + <p>You cannot keep your son in ignorance of the facts; the + state of our miserable streets, every time he walks out in the + evening in any of our large towns, absolutely forbids that + possibility. But you can place him in the right attitude to + meet those facts whether in the streets or among his own + companions. It is by fighting the evils without that we can + best fight the evils within. It is in dragging them down that + we are lifted up. A noble passion for the wronged, the weak, + the sinful, and the lost is the best means for casting out the + ignoble passions which would destroy another in order to have a + good time one's self. At present the stock phrase of a virtuous + young man is, "I know how to take care of myself." You have to + put into his lips and heart a stronger and a nobler utterance + than that: "I know how to take care of the weakest woman that + comes in my path." Surely it is requiring no impossible moral + attitude in our sons, rather mere common manliness, to expect + that when spoken to by some poor wanderer, he should make + answer in his heart if not with his lips, "My girl, I have got + a sister, and it would break my heart to see her in your place, + and I would rather die than have any part in your degradation." + One mother I know, who had been much engaged in rescue work, + and into whose heart the misery and degradation of our outcast + girls had entered like iron, taught her young + <a name="Page_154" + id="Page_154"></a>son always to take off his hat before + passsing on, whenever he was accosted. He told a friend of + mine that he had scarcely ever known it to fail. Either the + poor girl would say, "Sir, I am very sorry I spoke to you"; + or more frequently still that little mark of human respect + would prove too much, and she would silently turn away and + burst into tears. If our sons cannot bare their heads before + that bowed and ignoble object on whom the sins of us all + seem to have met—the wild passions of men, as well as + the self-righteousness of the Church—then our young + men are not what I take them to be,—nay, thank God! + what I know them to be, sound of head and sound of heart. + They get hold of facts by the wrong end; they cut into the + middle of a chain, and look upon the woman as the aggressor, + and contemplate her as an unclean bird of prey. They do not + in the least realize the slight and morally trivial things + that cast too many of our working-class girls down into the + pit of hell that skirts their daily path—often as mere + children who know not what they do, often from hunger and + desperation, often tricked and drugged, and always heavily + bribed. But let them know the facts, let them read a little + paper such as the <i>Black Anchor</i>, the <i>Ride of + Death</i>, or <i>My Little + Sister</i>,<a name="FNanchor_28_28" + id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" + class="fnanchor">[28]</a> and they will feel the whole thing + to be, in their own rough but expressive words, "a beastly + shame," and <a name="Page_155" + id="Page_155"></a>fight it both in themselves and in others, + for our sakes as well as their own. For the misery as things + are is this:—that men divide us into two + classes—we pure women for whom nothing is too good; + and those others, whom they never associate with us, for + whom nothing is too bad. And what we have to teach them is + this—that our womanhood is ONE that a sin against them + is a sin against us, and so to link the thought of us to + them that for the sake of their own mothers, for the sake of + their own sisters, above all, for the sake of the future + wife, they cannot wrong or degrade a woman or keep up a + degraded class of women.</p> + + <p>I am aware that, besides the suggestions I have made, young + men require a plain, emphatic warning as to the physical + dangers of licentiousness and of the possibility of contracting + a taint which medical science is now pronouncing to be + ineradicable and which they will transmit in some form or other + to their children after them. We want a strong cord made up of + every strand we can lay hold of, and one of these strands is + doubtless self-preservation, though in impulsive youth I do not + think it the strongest. But to give these warnings is + manifestly the father's duty, and not the mother's; and I hope + and believe that the number of fathers who are beginning to + recognize their duty in this matter, as moral teachers of their + boys, is steadily increasing. In the case of widowed mothers, + or where the father absolutely refuses to say anything, perhaps + the <a name="Page_156" + id="Page_156"></a>paper I have already mentioned, <i>Medical + Testimony</i>,<a name="FNanchor_29_29" + id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" + class="fnanchor">[29]</a> would be the best substitute for + the father's living voice.</p> + + <p>And now let me conclude this chapter, as I concluded the + last, with a few scattered practical suggestions which may + prove of use. My experience has been that the vast majority of + our young men go wrong not from any vicious tendencies, but + from want of thought, want of knowledge, and a consequent + yielding to the low moral tone of so-called men of the world, + and the fear of being chaffed as "an innocent." See that your + boy is guarded from this want of thought and want of knowledge. + When your son is a Sixth Form boy—it is impossible to + give the age more definitely, as it must depend upon the + character of the boy—place in his hands the White Cross + paper, <i>True Manliness</i> which will give him the facts + about his own manhood. This paper was carefully revised by the + late Bishop of Durham, Dr. Lightfoot, whose specialty was young + men; and upwards of a million copies have been sold, which in + itself guarantees it as a safe paper. Nor need you as a mother + of sons fear to read over any of the White Cross papers, since + they concern themselves, as their name denotes, with purity and + a high ideal of life—not with the sewer, but with the + fountain of sweet waters.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_157" + id="Page_157"></a>Should your boys be so inclined, you might + suggest their joining that band of modern knights, the White + Cross Society.<a name="FNanchor_30_30" + id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" + class="fnanchor">[30]</a> It is a great thing to give a + young man a high ideal to act up to, and the White Cross + would certainly give him this, as well as save him, with its + definite obligations, from evil that is incurred from sheer + thoughtlessness and animal spirits, enforcing a respectful + and chivalrous treatment of women, even when by their fast + ways those women show that they have no respect for + themselves. But more especially is this the case with regard + to the second obligation, to discountenance coarse jests and + allusions and the by no means nice sort of talk that often + goes on in smoking-rooms, and by which, I am convinced, more + than by any other agency the mind and conscience of young + men is gradually deadened and defiled, but in which they are + apt to join from sheer thoughtlessness and sense of fun. + Their White Cross obligation might screw up their moral + courage to utter some such <a name="Page_158" + id="Page_158"></a>pointed rebuke as Dr. Jowett's to a lot of + young men in a smoking-room, "I don't want to make myself + out better than you are, but is there not more dirt than wit + in that story?" or that other still more public rebuke which + he administered at his own dinner-table when, the gentlemen + having been left to their wine, a well-known diplomat began + telling some very unsavory stories, till the still, small, + high-pitched voice of the Master made itself heard, saying, + "Had we not better adjourn this conversation till we join + the ladies in the drawing-room?" At least they can keep + silence and a grave face; and silence and a grave face are + often the best damper to coarse wit. Why, I ask, should men + when they get together be one whit coarser than women? It is + simply an evil fashion, and as an evil fashion can and will + be put down as "bad form."</p> + + <p>I think also that joining the White Cross will make young + men more active in trying to influence other young men and to + guard and help their younger brothers, with all the other + priceless work that they can, if they will, do for our + womanhood among men, but which, from shyness and reserve and + the dread of being looked upon as moral prigs, they are apt to + let go by default.</p> + + <p>But whether you agree with me or not with regard to your + sons' joining an organization, see that they assume their + rightful attitude of guardians of the purity of the home. We + women cannot know anything about <a name="Page_159" + id="Page_159"></a>the inner secrets of men's lives, or know + whom to exclude and whom to admit to the society of our + girls. This ought to be the part of the brothers. God knows + we do not want to make a pariah class of men on the same + lines as are meted out to women. The young man who wants to + do better we are bound to help, and no better work can be + done in our large cities than to open our homes to young men + in business or in Government offices, etc. But men who are + deliberately leading a fast life and who are deeply stained + with the degradation of our own womanhood, with no wish to + rise out of their moral slough, these must be to us as moral + lepers, to be gilded by no wealth, to be cloaked by no + insignia of noble birth, or we stand betrayed as hypocrites + and charlatans in our own cause. If our position in society + is such as obliges us to receive such men, we all know the + moral uses of ice, and under the guise of the most frigid + politeness we can make them feel their absolute exclusion + from the inner circle of our friends and intimates. There + need be no discussion between you and your son—just + the hint: "Oh, mother, I would not ask that fellow if I were + you," and you will know what is meant.</p> + + <p>Much may also be done by keeping up the general high tone of + the home. One mother of eight sons, who all turned out men of + high, pure life, if ever they used in her presence such + expressions as "a well-groomed woman," or commended their last + partner at a ball as<a name="Page_160" + id="Page_160"></a> "a pretty little filly," would instantly + interrupt them and ask incisively, "Are you talking of a + horse or a woman? If you are talking of a woman, you will be + pleased to remember that you are speaking in the presence of + your mother and your sisters." And if any scandal about a + woman was mooted, the conversation was at once quietly + turned into another and more profitable channel.</p> + + <p>A word of homely advice from you to your sons with regard to + our streets at night: never to loiter, but to trudge on + quickly, when they would be rarely molested, may be advisable + and useful.</p> + + <p>As to absolute watchfulness with regard to the young + maid-servants in your house, this is so obvious a point that it + scarcely needs mentioning; though at the same time I have known + the most culpably careless arrangements made when the family + are away for their summer holidays, young maid-servants being + left alone in the house while the young men are still going + backwards and forwards to their business; or the whole family + going out and no older woman being left in charge of the young + domestics. What can one expect but that, having sown moral + carelessness, we shall reap corruption?</p> + + <p>But even with no such culpable neglect of our + responsibilities, I do wish we would cultivate more human + relations with our servants, and so get them to work more + consciously with us in maintaining a high Christian tone in our + homes. If we would but take a more <a name="Page_161" + id="Page_161"></a>individual interest in them and their + belongings, as we should do with those we count our friends; + getting a good situation for the younger sister who is just + coming on, possibly giving her a few weeks of good training + in our own household; giving the delicate child of the + family change of air and good food, even taking in a baby to + enable a sick mother to go for a short time into a hospital. + All these things I have found possible in my own household. + And surely such thought and care for those they hold dear + would form a living bond between mistress and servant. If we + would take the same thought and care for pleasant breaks in + the monotony of our young servants' lives as we do for our + own girls, would the servant difficulty press upon us to the + same degree? Nay, if we could set going a weekly or + fortnightly working party with our own servants in some + cause which would interest us both, reading out some + interesting narrative in connection with it, could we not + even in this small way establish a bond of common service + and make us feel that we were all working together for the + same Master, so that our servants might become our helpers, + and not, as they sometimes are, our hinderers, in bringing + up our children in a high and pure moral atmosphere?</p> + + <p>But when all things are said and done, I know that with + every mother worthy the name there must be moments of deep + discouragement and sense of failure—a sense of mistakes + made with some difficult nature to <a name="Page_162" + id="Page_162"></a>which her own gives her but little clue; a + sense of difficulties in vain grappled with, of shortcomings + in vain striven against. Which of us have not had such + moments of despondency in the face of a great task? In such + moments I have often called to mind one of those parables of + Nature which are everywhere around us, unseen and unheeded, + like those exquisite fresco angels of the old masters, in + dim corners of ancient churches, blowing silent trumpets of + praise and adoration and touching mute viols into mystic + melodies which are lost to us. So thin has the material veil + grown under the touch of modern science that everywhere the + spiritual breaks through. Often in that nameless + discouragement before unfinished tasks, unfulfilled aims, + and broken efforts, I have thought of how the creative Word + has fashioned the opal, made it of the same stuff as desert + sands, mere silica—not a crystallized stone like a + diamond, but rather a stone with a broken heart, traversed + by hundreds of small fissures which let in the air, the + breath, as the Spirit is called in the Greek of our New + Testament; and through these two transparent mediums of such + different density it is enabled to refract the light and + reflect every lovely hue of heaven, while at its heart burns + a mysterious spot of fire. When we feel, therefore, as I + have often done, nothing but cracks and desert dust, we can + say, "So God maketh his precious opal." Our very sense of + brokenness and failure makes room for the Spirit to + <a name="Page_163" + id="Page_163"></a>enter in, and through His strength made + perfect in human weakness we are made able to reflect every + tender hue of the eternal Loveliness and break up the white + light of His truth into those rays which are fittest for + different natures; while that hidden lamp of the sanctuary + will burn in your heart of hearts for ever a guide to your + boy's feet in the devious ways of life.</p> + + <p>In conclusion, I should like to record an incident full of + encouragement to mothers. A young fellow of eighteen or + nineteen, whom his widowed mother had brought up on the + principles which I have been advocating, said to her one day, + "Mother, you know that men don't always think like you about + poor girls." "Alas!" she replied, "I know that but too well; + but what makes you say so?" "Well, mother, I was with a lot of + college fellows yesterday, and they were giving one another the + best addresses in the West End to go to." "But didn't you say + anything?" "No, I only kept silence. Had I said anything, they + would only have called me a confounded prig. There were three + other fellows who kept silence, and I could see they did not + approve, but we none of us spoke up." "Oh, my son," exclaimed + his mother in great distress, "how are we to help you young + fellows? Do you think if the clergy were more faithful, they + could help you more than they do?" "I don't think they would + listen to what a parson says." "Then if doctors were to warn + you more plainly than they do?" "I don't <a name="Page_164" + id="Page_164"></a>think it would be of much use; they would + not heed; and then a fellow generally goes to a doctor too + late." "Then what can we do, what can we do?" "Well, I think + there is only one person who can really help, and that's a + fellow's mother—she can save him, if she would only + try."</p> + + <p>Doubt not, but earnestly believe. "In every man's breast is + to be found a lotus-blossom," says the pretty old Indian + saying, and, watered by your prayers and your tears, be sure it + will blossom into "the white flower of a blameless life."</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_165" + id="Page_165"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_26_26" + id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label"> + [26]</span></a> Coventry Patmore.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_27_27" + id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label"> + [27]</span></a> The word in Greek is the same for woman + and wife.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_28_28" + id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label"> + [28]</span></a> White Cross Publications, E.P. Dutton + & Co., 31 West Twenty Third Street, New York.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_29_29" + id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label"> + [29]</span></a> Office of White Cross league, 7 Dean's + Yard, Westminster Abbey, London.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_30_30" + id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label"> + [30]</span></a></p> + + <h5><span class="smcap">The White Cross + Obligations</span>.</h5> + + <p>I. To treat all women with respect, and endeavor to + protect them from wrong and degradation.</p> + + <p>II. To endeavor to put down all indecent language + and coarse jests.</p> + + <p>III. To maintain the law of purity as equally + binding upon men and women.</p> + + <p>IV. To endeavor to spread these principles among my + companions, and to try and help my younger + brothers.</p> + + <p>V. To use every possible means to fulfil the + command,<br /> + "Keep + thyself pure."</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" + id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2> + + <h3>THE INFLUENCE OF SISTERS</h3> + + <p>Hitherto I have dealt exclusively with the moral training of + boys and young men, but I am aware that I have left out one of + the great shaping influences of a boy's life, which certainly + comes next to the mother's where it exists—the influence + of sisters. The childish hand that he clasps in his is the hand + that unconsciously moulds him to higher ends or the reverse. + For if the man is the director, the ruler, and defender, "the + builder of the house" as he is called in the grand old word + husband,<a name="FNanchor_31_31" + id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" + class="fnanchor">[31]</a> the woman is the shaping and + moulding influence of life; and if God has placed her in the + power of the man, both through the weakness of her frame and + the strength of her affections, on the other hand He has + given into her hands the keys of his being, and according as + he fulfils or abuses his trust towards her, she opens or + closes the door of higher life to + him.<a name="FNanchor_32_32" + id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" + class="fnanchor">[32]</a></p> + + <p><a name="Page_166" + id="Page_166"></a>I often wonder whether we women + sufficiently realize this truth for ourselves or our girls. + Walter Bagehot used to say in his blind, masculine way, + "It's a horrid scrape to be a woman,"—a sentiment + which, I fear, will find some echo in the hearts of a good + many women themselves. But is it so? If to the man chiefly + belongs power in all its forms, does not the woman wield as + her portion that far more potent but wholly silent, and + often unnoticed thing, influence? Not the storm, or the + earthquake, or the strong wind, but the still, small voice: + the benediction of dews and gentle rains, the mute + beatitudes of still waters flowing through sun-parched lands + and transforming them into "fruitful fields that the Lord + hath blest"; the silent but irresistible influence of the + sunlight, which in the baby palm of a little leaf becomes a + golden key to unlock the secret treasures of the air and + build up great oaks out of its invisible elements; the + still, small voice of the moral sense, so still, so small, + so powerless to enforce its dictates, but before which all + the forces of the man do bow and obey, choosing death rather + than disobedience—are not all these silent influences + emblems of the supreme, shaping, moulding influence that is + given to the woman as the "mother of all living," coming + without observation, but making far more strongly than any + external power for the kingdom of love and light? Truly we + have a goodly heritage if only we had eyes to see it. Alas! + that we should have made so little <a name="Page_167" + id="Page_167"></a>comparative use of it in these great moral + questions. Alas! that we should have to acknowledge the + truth and justice of the poet's words:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">Ah, wasteful woman! she who + may<br /></span> <span class="i0">On her sweet self set + her own price,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Knowing he + cannot choose but pay—<br /></span> + <span class="i0">How has she cheapen'd + Paradise,<br /></span> <span class="i0">How given for + nought her priceless gift,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">How spoiled the bread and spilt the + wine,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Which, spent with + due respective thrift,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Had made brutes men, and men + divine!"<a name="FNanchor_33_33" + id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" + class="fnanchor">[33]</a><br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>But even here is there not place for a hopeful thought, that + if women have made so little comparative use of their well-nigh + irresistible influence in setting a high standard and shaping + men to a diviner and less animal type, it has been, as I have + already said, chiefly owing to ignorance? The whole of one of + the darkest sides of life has been sedulously kept from us. + Educated mothers, till lately, have been profoundly ignorant of + the moral evils of schools, and have never dreamt that that + young, frank, fresh-faced lad of theirs had any temptations of + the kind. Their moral influence, which the poet blames them so + strongly for misusing, has been largely, at least with good + women, not so much a misused as an undirected force, and we + know not, therefore, what that force may accomplish when a + larger and truer knowledge enables it to be persistently + <a name="Page_168" + id="Page_168"></a>directed to a conscious aim. This fact, at + least, has been stamped into my inmost being, that men will + rise to any moral standard which women choose to set + them.</p> + + <p>I ask, therefore, cannot we get our girls to help us here + more than we do, without being crippled by the fear of + initiating them too much in the evil of the world or destroying + that unconscious virginal purity which is, even as things are, + so strong and pathetic an influence for good over young + men?</p> + + <p>In the addresses that I have given to large numbers of + educated girls, I used often to begin by quoting a passage from + the Jewish Prayer-Book. In a general thanksgiving for the + mercies of life, the men say: "We thank Thee, O Lord of heaven + and earth, that Thou hast not made us a woman." One a little + wonders how the poor women could join in this thanksgiving. But + in one corner of the page there is a little rubric in very + small print which directs, "Here shall the women say: 'We thank + Thee, O Lord of heaven and earth, that Thou hast made us + according unto Thy will!'" And, looking upon that bed of spring + flowers before me, I used to tell them that it made me feel + what a fair and gracious and beautiful thing it was to be made + according unto God's will, to be made a woman.</p> + + <p>Now, in the first place, could we not get them to realize + this great truth a little more than they do, and not in their + heart of hearts to wish that they were men? Could we not get + them to realize a little more the divine <a name="Page_169" + id="Page_169"></a>possibilities of their womanhood, and + instead of making it their ambition to figure as a weaker + form of man, and become lawyers, stockbrokers, and other + queer things the modern woman is striving after, to make it + their ambition to become stronger and truer women?</p> + + <p>But how is this to be done? I remember on one occasion, when + I was going in the evening to address a mass meeting of + working-class girls, a stout, middle-aged lady bustling up to + me in a morning conference we were holding, and exclaiming: + "And what are you going to say to them? What can you say to + them, except to tell them to take care of themselves and keep + the men at arm's length?"</p> + + <p>Now, this old-fashioned method, which we have adopted in + dealing with the girls of the poor, I contend traverses the + central and most fundamental facts of a woman's being. A woman + will never find salvation in being told to take care of + herself, and least of all for the purpose of keeping the man, + for whom she was created to be a helpmate, at arm's length. + Gospels of self-culture may take seeming root here and there in + the exotic woman; but even in her, at some moment of swift + passion or strong emotion, they will crumple up and fall off + from her like a withered leaf. James Hinton knew a woman's + nature but too well when he said that she would respond to the + appeal "Lay down your life" more readily and more surely than + to the appeal "Take up your rights." She certainly has a + <a name="Page_170" + id="Page_170"></a>most divine power of flinging herself + away, whether nobly or ignobly, which forms both her + strength and her weakness. But I have never yet known a + woman who would not, at any rate to some degree, respond to + an appeal to save, not herself, but another: "Do not let him + do this wrong thing, for his sake. You can do anything you + like with a man who loves you. God has given him body and + soul into your hands, and you can lift him up into something + of His image and make a true man of him; or you can let his + love for you sink him into a selfish beast of prey. Do not + let him do anything that will for ever lower his manhood, + but use your power over him to keep him true to all that is + best and highest in him." I have never yet known the woman + who will not be moved by such an appeal as this. In other + words, the central motive force of a woman's nature, the key + of her whole being, is, and must ever be, the mother in her, + that divine motherhood which is at the heart of every woman + worthy of the name, married or unmarried. It is this divine + motherhood, which all evolution, the whole "process of the + suns," has gone to strengthen, and which Christianity has + enshrined at her very heart—it is this that makes her + for ever the Christ factor in the world, the supreme + expression of the redeeming Love—that care of the + strong for the weak which even in Nature comes trembling + into existence beneath the tender wing of the nesting bird, + or forces itself into notice in the fierce + <a name="Page_171" + id="Page_171"></a>lioness's care for her whelps, and which + we believe will work out the ultimate consummation of the + "whole creation that groaneth and travaileth in pain until + now." And I contend that if we are to have in the future + such women as Lady Augusta Stanley, round whose lifeless + form were united in one common sorrow the Queen on her + throne and the poorest of the poor, such women as Browning's + wife and Browning's mother, of whom he used to say, with a + slight tremor in his voice, "She was a divine woman," it + will be by strengthening and appealing to this element of + divine motherhood in a woman's nature.</p> + + <p>What I would, therefore, teach the girls is this: that they + have got to mother the boys, that they are the guardians of all + that is best and highest in them, of all that makes for the + chivalrous American gentleman, and that their womanhood should + therefore be to them a fountain of fine manners, of high + thoughts, and noble actions. I would rub into their very bones, + if I could, the old saw I have already quoted: "A man is what a + woman makes him"; that if there were more high womanhood there + would be less low manhood; and that if the boys are rude and + rough and slangy, and loutish in their manner to women, the + blame lies with their sisters who, in their foolish fondness + and indulgence, or in their boyish camaraderie, have allowed + them to slouch up into a slovenly manhood. The man at most is + the fine prose of life, but the woman ought <a name="Page_172" + id="Page_172"></a>to be its poetry and inspiration. It is + her hand that sets its key, whether</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"To feed the high tradition of the + world,"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>or add to its low discords. Surely Ruskin's noble words + apply here: "It is the type of an eternal truth that the soul's + armor is never well set to the heart unless a woman's hand has + braced it; and it is only when she has braced it loosely that + the honor of manhood fails"; or those other still stronger and + nobler words of Frederick Robertson's: "There are two rocks in + a man's life on which he must either anchor or split: God and + Woman."</p> + + <p>And could we not appeal to our girls to make their womanhood + a rock which bears a light to all in peril on the rough sea of + life—a light to save from moral shipwreck and lead to the + safe haven beneath the Rock of Ages? Surely we might appeal to + them, in the name of their own brothers and others with whom + they are intimately thrown, to work out these higher + possibilities of their own womanhood; not to lower it by + picking up slang words from their brothers—a woman ought + to be above coarsening and vulgarizing God's great gift of + speech—not to engage in games or romps that involve a + rude rough-and-tumble with boys, which may develop a healthy + hoyden, but is utterly destructive of the gracious dignity of + the true woman; not to adopt fast ways of either dress or + bearing which <a name="Page_173" + id="Page_173"></a>lead to young men making remarks behind + their backs which they ought not to make on any woman; above + all, never in girlish flightiness, or, worse still, in order + to boast of the number of offers they have received, to + flirt or trifle in any way with a man's affections; but to + remember that to every man they have to make a woman only + the other name for truth and constancy. God only knows the + number of young men who have received their first downward + bent from what to a young girl, in the wilfulness of her + high spirits and her ignorance of life, has been only a bit + of fun, but which to the young man has been the first fatal + break in his faith in woman—that faith which in his + soul dwells so hard by his faith in the Divine that in + making shipwreck of the one is only too likely to make + shipwreck of the other.</p> + + <p>As to the mothers who send out their young girls into + society the victims of their fashionable dressmakers, to be a + fountain, not of high, pure thoughts to young men, but a spring + of low temptations and impure suggestions, I do not blame the + young girls here; but surely the severest blame is due to the + criminal folly, or worse, of their mothers, who must know what + the consequences of immodest dressing necessarily are to the + inflammable mind of youth.</p> + + <p>But that that unlovely phenomenon "the girl of the period," + is also deeply to blame for the lowered traditions of English + society, and consequently of English <a name="Page_174" + id="Page_174"></a>manhood, I have only too sorrowfully to + acknowledge. I remember Mrs. Herbert of Vauxhall telling a + very fashionable audience how on one occasion she had to + rebuke a young man moving in the first London society for + using some contemptuous expression with regard to women, and + was led to appeal very earnestly to him to reverence all + women for his mother's sake. He turned upon her with a sort + of divine rage and said: "I long to reverence women, but the + girls I meet with in society won't let me. They like me to + make free with them; they like me to talk to them about + doubtful subjects, and they make me"—and he ground his + teeth as he said it—"what I just hate myself for + being." Alas! alas! can sadder words knell in a woman's ears + than these?</p> + + <p>But side by side with this desecrating womanhood there rises + up before me the vision of a young girl, not English, nor + American, but French—now a mature woman, with girls and + boys of her own, but who in her young days was the very + embodiment of all that I have been urging that our girls might + become to their brothers. She was a daughter of the great + French preacher, Frederick Monod, and had an only brother who + was all in all to her. She knew enough of the evil of the world + to know that a medical student in Paris was exposed to great + temptations; and she was resolved, so far as she could, to make + her womanhood a crystal shield between him and them. She + entered <a name="Page_175" + id="Page_175"></a>into all his pursuits; she took an + interest in all his friends and companions; she had always + leisure for sympathy and counsel in his difficulties and + troubles. She had a little room of her own to which she used + to get him to come every evening and talk over the day with + her, so that she might keep herself heart to heart with him + in all that concerned him. She even overcame her girlish + reserve, and would get him to kneel down by her side and + pour out her sweet girlish heart in prayer that God would + guide him in all his ways, and keep him unspotted from the + world. Years after, when he was a married man, with boys of + his own, he said to her: "You little know all that you were + to me as a young man. My temptations were so maddening that + I used sometimes to think that I must yield to them and do + as other young men did all round me. But then a vision of + you used to rise up before me, and I used to say to myself: + 'No; if I do this thing, I can never go and sit with her in + her own little room; I can never look into her dear face + again.'" And the thought of that young girl, the angel of + her presence in the midst of the furnace, kept that young + man unspotted from the world through all the gutters of + Paris life. Could not our sweet English and American girls + be to their brothers what that young French girl was to + hers?</p> + + <p>But perhaps some pessimistic mother will exclaim, "What is + the use of making these old-fashioned <a name="Page_176" + id="Page_176"></a>appeals to our modern girls? They are so + taken up with the delights of their freedom, so absorbed in + the pleasure of cycling and athletic games, so full of manly + ambitions, so persuaded that the proper cultivated attitude + is to be an agnostic, and to look at God and the universe + through a sceptical and somewhat supercilious eyeglass, that + if we did make an appeal to them such as you suggest they + would only laugh at such old-fashioned notions." I can only + say that I have not found it so. I can bear the highest + testimony at least to our English girls, of whom I have + addressed thousands, all over the three kingdoms. + Occasionally it has happened that maturer women have left me + stranded, stretching out hands of vain appeal to them; but + my girls, my dear girls, never once failed me. Not only + could I see by the expression of their faces how deeply they + responded to my appeal to work out the latent possibilities + of their womanhood, and be the uplifting influence to their + brothers, and other young men with whom they were thrown, + that a true woman can be; but they came forward in troops to + take up the position I assigned to them in our woman's + movement towards a higher and purer life. Nobly did those + young girls respond, joining a movement for opening + club-rooms and classes for working girls, a movement + initiated not by me, but by educated girls like themselves, + and which has since spread all over England and + Scotland.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_177" + id="Page_177"></a>And if this is true of our English girls, + still more would it be true of the American girl, who has a + unique position and influence of her own, and is dowered + with that peculiar capacity and graciousness which seem to + belong by divine right to the American woman.</p> + + <p>I cannot but think that if we were to teach our girls less + in religious phraseology and more from the great realities of + life; if they were taught that Christianity is only human life + rightly seen and divinely ordered, that the Cross is only the + uncovering of what is going on all round us, though hidden to a + careless gaze,—the sin, the pain, the misery, which are + forever crucifying and forever calling forth that great passion + of redeeming Love to which, through the motherhood that is in + us, "one touch of nature makes us kin"; and that the central + truth of Christianity is not, as we have too often taught, + saving our own souls, but a life poured out for the good of + others, and personal salvation as a means for having a life to + pour forth—I cannot but think that much fashionable + girlish agnosticism would disappear, and the true woman would + reach forth to that divine humanity to which she belongs.</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_178" + id="Page_178"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_31_31" + id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label"> + [31]</span></a> Husband is derived from two + words—"house" and the Saxon word to "build," + German <i>bauen</i>.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_32_32" + id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label"> + [32]</span></a> See a little White Cross paper called + <i>My Little Sister</i>, which I wish mothers would get + into the hands of their sons just entering into manhood + to read, mark, learn, digest. (Wells Gardner, Darton + and Co.)</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_33_33" + id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label"> + [33]</span></a> Coventry Patmore.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" + id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2> + + <h3>THE MODERN WOMAN AND HER FUTURE</h3> + + <p>Up to this point I have dealt only with the great shaping + and moulding principles of life, with indirect influence rather + than direct. How far direct teaching on matters of sex should + be given to our girls has been a far greater perplexity to me + than in the case of boys. In the present state of our schools + and our streets our boys must get to know evil. Hitherto it was + possible to say that our girls <i>might</i> get to know evil, + and between that "must" and "might" lay a great and perplexing + chasm. We do not want our garden lilies to smell of anything + but pure dews and rains and sun-warmed fragrance. But is this + ideal possible any longer, except in a few secluded country + homes, where, hidden like Keats's nightingale "among the + leaves," they may remain innocent and ignorant of the world's + evil?</p> + + <p>But with the ordinary conditions of the present day, with + the greater freedom accorded to women, the wider range of + education, involving a wider range of reading, with modern + newspapers left about, I ask, How is it possible for a mother + to keep her girls in ignorance and <a name="Page_179" + id="Page_179"></a>unconscious innocence? A volume of short + stories comes into the house from the circulating library; + they are clever and apparently absolutely harmless. Yet + embedded in the heart of one such volume, which shall be + nameless, I came upon a story almost as vile as anything in + a French novel, and conveying the most corrupt knowledge. + How, I ask, can a busy mother read through every book of + short stories before letting it fall into the hands of her + girls; or how, if they are to read Latin and Greek, or even + carefully to study our own old literature, is she to guard + them from a knowledge of evil conveyed in classical + allusions, or in the coarse plainness of speech of an + earlier age? I know as a fact, whether we recognize it or + not, that behind our mature backs our girls are discussing + these moral problems with quite an alarming amount of + freedom, and some at least, guided by no teaching, and with + no practical knowledge of the great laws of human life, are + coming to quite startling conclusions, which would make + their mothers' hair stand on end. And one most undesirable, + and I may add unnatural, result noticeable among the more + advanced section is a certain distaste for marriage, a + tendency to look upon it as something low and animal, which + strikes me as simply a fatal attitude for women to take + up.</p> + + <p>Have we not, therefore, got clearly to recognize that the + old order has changed, giving place to new, and requiring, + therefore, new methods. We may or we <a name="Page_180" + id="Page_180"></a>may not like the new order, but it is + <i>there</i>. Under the changed conditions of modern life it + is inevitable; therefore it must be in the providence of + God; it cannot be wholly bad, and if we will work in with it + loyally, and not thrust it aside for some old order of our + own, it may be, nay, it will be, wholly for good. Let us + remember that the two most conservative organic forms, the + two that have most resisted progressive evolution, are the + donkey and the goose. To ignore the new order, to cling to + the old views and methods, is to court moral extinction as a + living force. As well think to find safety in escaping from + the advance of an express engine by adopting the stately + pace of our grandmothers, which was perfectly adapted for + getting out of the way of a lumbering stage-coach. May not + He</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Whose large plan ripens slowly to a + whole"<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>be working out a progressive ideal such as we trace in the + great spiritual records of our race? The Bible, thank God! + neither begins nor ends with sin; but it begins with a sinless + garden, it ends with a strong city of God, with evil known and + recognized, but cast out beyond its walls. May He not be + leading us to form a wiser, deeper, stronger ideal; to aim for + our girls not so much at Innocence, with her fading wreath of + flowers—fading, as, alas! they must ever fade in a world + like this—but to aim at Virtue, with her victor's crown + of <a name="Page_181" + id="Page_181"></a>gold, tried in the fire? May it not be + that His divine providence is constraining us to take as our + ideal for our womanhood, not the old sheltered garden, but a + strong city of God, having foundations, whose very gates are + made of pearl, through which nothing that defileth is + suffered to enter, and whose common ways are paved with pure + gold, gold of no earthly temper, but pure and clear as + crystal;—a city of refuge for all who are oppressed + with wrong, and from which all foul forms of evil are banned + by the one word "<i>Without</i>"? Sure I am that if we will + accept this deeper and larger ideal, and endeavor, however + imperfectly, to work it out on the earth, in the midst of + it, as in the old garden ideal, will be found the tree of + life; but then its very leaves will be for the healing of + the nations.</p> + + <p>But whether you go with me as far as this or not, I think + you will agree with me that we must not leave our girls to + their own crude notions on the deepest matters of life. Still + less must we leave them to get their teaching on marriage and + matters of sex from some modern novels, which I can only + characterize as tuberculosis of the moral sense, but from + which, as I have already pointed out, we cannot always guard + them. We must give them direct teaching of some kind.</p> + + <p>First, I think our girls, as well as our boys, need far more + direct teaching than has been customary as to the sanctity of + the body. This is especially true of <a name="Page_182" + id="Page_182"></a>girls who are sent to boarding-schools, as + some of the moral evils of boys' schools are not, I am sorry + to say, altogether unknown in girls' schools, though, as far + as I can ascertain, the evil is much less in extent, and in + some is non-existent. Still, all girls need to be taught + that the body is the temple of the Lord and Giver of life, + and that from the crown of their heads to the sole of their + feet those bodies belong to Christ.</p> + + <p>Secondly, I think that they ought to have some such teaching + about life and birth as that which I have already recommended + for boys, that they may see how through the marital tie and the + consequent rise of the parental relation, a world of blind + mechanical force gradually developed into a world of life and + beauty, and at last crowned itself with a conscious love in an + indissoluble union, which makes marriage the very type of the + union of the soul with God, of Christ with His Church.</p> + + <p>Thirdly, they need to be taught that much in their own + physical constitution, which they rebel against as handicapping + them in the struggle of life, is Nature's provision for them + that no merely physical function should press upon them as we + see it do in the animal creation at certain periods of the + year, but that they should be free to serve God, whether in the + married or in the unmarried state, in quietness and godly + living.</p> + + <p>Fourthly, above all they need definite teaching on + <a name="Page_183" + id="Page_183"></a>the true nature, the sanctity, and the + beauty of marriage. It appears that the line of progress is + always a spiral, and it would seem as if we were in the + backward sweep of the spiral which looks like retrogression, + but will doubtless bring us out further up in the end. The + masculine view that marriage is the one aim and end of a + woman's existence, adopted also by some careful mothers, is + now exploded. Young men are no longer led to look upon every + girl that they meet as furtively, to use a vulgarism, + "setting her cap for him," and only too ready to fling + herself at his feet. So far so good. But have we not + suffered our girls to drift into the opposite extreme? In + the heyday of their bright young life, with so many new + interests and amusements open to them, in the pride of their + freedom and independence, they are no longer so inclined to + marry, and are even apt to look down upon the married state. + They form so high an ideal of the man to whom they would + surrender their independence—an ideal which they + fortunately do not apply to their fathers and brothers, whom + they find it quite possible to love on a far lower and more + human level—that because a man does not fulfil this + ideal, and is not a fairy prince dowered with every possible + gift, they refuse men who, though not angels, would have + made them happy as wife and mother. Would not a little + sound, sensible teaching be of great good here? Could we not + point out that, though in so vital and complex a union as + the <a name="Page_184" + id="Page_184"></a>family there must be some seat of ultimate + authority, some court of final appeal somewhere, and that + the woman herself would not wish it to rest anywhere else + than in the man, if she is to respect him; yet there is no + subservience on the part of the wife in the obedience she + renders, but rather in South's grand words, "It is that of a + queen to her king, who both owns a subjection and remains a + majesty"? Cannot we contend against this falsehood of the + age which seems so to underlie our modern life, and which + inclines us to look upon all obedience as a slavish + thing—that obedience which "doth preserve the stars + from wrong," and through which "the most ancient heavens are + fresh and strong"; that obedience which when absolute and + implicit to the Divine will is "a service of perfect + freedom"? It is the profession which exacts unquestionable + obedience that forms the finest school for character, as I + have already pointed out. We do not hear of a Wellington or + a Roberts refusing to enter the service because they could + not give up their independence. Our military heroes at least + know that it is through discipline and obedience that they + gain their real independence—the independence of a + strong character.</p> + + <p>Again, our girls need to be taught not only that there is + nothing derogatory in the married relation to the freest and + fullest independence of character, but surely in these days of + open advocacy by some popular writers of "les unions libres" + and a freedom of <a name="Page_185" + id="Page_185"></a>divorce that comes to much the same thing, + they need to be taught the sanctity of marriage—those + first principles which hitherto we have taken for granted, + but which now, like everything else, is thrown into the + crucible and brought into question. They need definite + teaching as to the true nature of marriage; that it is no + mere contract to be broken or kept according to the + individual contractor's convenience—I never yet heard + of a contract for bringing into existence, not a successful + machine, but a moral and spiritual being with infinite + possibilities of weal or woe, of heaven or hell—but a + sacramental union of love and life, with sacramental grace + given to those who will seek it to live happily and endure + nobly within its sacred bounds—a union so deep and + mystical that even on its physical side our great + physiologists are wholly at a loss to account for some of + its effects;<a name="FNanchor_34_34" + id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" + class="fnanchor">[34]</a> a union of which permanence is the + very essence, as on its permanence rests the permanence and + stability of the whole fabric of our life. It can never be + treated on an individualistic basis, though that is always + the tendency with every man and woman who has ever loved. In + Mrs. Humphry Ward's words:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"That is always the way; each man imagines the matter is + still for his deciding, and he can no more decide it than + he can tamper with the fact that fire burns or water + drowns. All these centuries the human animal has fought + with the human soul. <a name="Page_186" + id="Page_186"></a>And step by step the soul has + registered her victories. She has won them only by + feeling for the law and finding it—uncovering, + bringing into light the firm rocks beneath her feet. And + on these rocks she rears her landmarks—marriage, + the family, the State, the Church. Neglect them and you + sink into the quagmire from which the soul of the race + has been for generations struggling to save + you."<a name="FNanchor_35_35" + id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" + class="fnanchor">[35]</a></p> + </div> + + <p>Fall on this rock, stumble into unhappiness and discontent, + as so many do in marriage, and you will be broken. But be + faithful to it and to the high traditions which generations of + suffering men and women have worked out for you, and you will + be broken as the bud is broken into the blossom, as the acorn + is broken into the oak—broken into a higher and stronger + life. On the other hand rebel against it, attempt to drag it + down or cast it from its place, and it will crush you, and + grind some part of your higher nature to powder. How strangely + and sadly is this shown in the case of one of our greatest + writers, who thought that the influence of her writings would + far outweigh the influence of her example, but whose name and + example are now constantly used by bad men to overcome the + virtue of young educated girls struggling alone in London, and + often half starving on the miserable pittance which is all they + can earn. But still more is it shown in the life of the nation + which tampers with the laws of marriage and admits freedom of + divorce. Either such suits must <a name="Page_187" + id="Page_187"></a>be heard <i>in camera</i> without the + shame of exposure, when divorce is so facilitated that the + family and the State rest rather on a superstructure of + rickety boards than on a rock; or they must be heard in + public court and form a moral sewer laid on to the whole + nation, poisoning the deepest springs of its life, and + through that polluted life producing far more individual + misery than it endeavors to remedy in dissolving an unhappy + marriage. God only knows what I suffered when a <i>cause + célčbre</i> came on, and I felt that the whole nation was + being provided with something worse and more vitally + mischievous than the most corrupt French novel.</p> + + <p>Deeply do I regret—and in this I think most thoughtful + minds will agree with me—that the Reformers in their + inevitable rebound from the superstitions of Rome, rejected her + teaching of the sacramental nature of marriage, which has made + so many Protestant nations tend to that freedom of divorce + which is carried to so great an extent in some parts of + America, and is spreading, alas! to many of our own + colonies—a laxity fatally undermining the sanctity and + stability of the family. If marriage be not a sacrament, an + outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual life and + grace, I ask what is?</p> + + <p>I would therefore earnestly beseech you to oppose your + direct teaching to the whole tendency of modern life, and to + much of the direct teaching of modern fiction + —<a name="Page_188" + id="Page_188"></a>even of so great a novelist as George + Meredith—which inculcates the subordination of the + marriage bond to what is called the higher law of love, or + rather, passion. In teaching your sons, and especially your + girls, who are far more likely to be led astray by this + specious doctrine, base marriage not on emotion, not on + sentiment, but on duty. To build upon emotion, with the + unruly wills and affections of sinful men, is to build, not + upon the sand, but upon the wind. There is but one immovable + rock on which steadfast character, steadfast relations, + steadfast subordination of the lower and personal desires, + to the higher and immutable obligations and trusts and + responsibilities of life can be built—duty. When this + rock has been faithfully clung to, when in the midst of + disillusionment and shattered ideals the noble resolution + has been clung to never to base personal happiness on a + broken trust or another's pain, I have over and over again + known the, most imperfect marriage prove in the end to be + happy and contented. Here again I quote some words of + Mrs.</p> + + <p>Humphry Ward, which she puts into the mouth of her hero: + "No," he said with deep emphasis—"No; I have come to + think the most disappointing and hopeless marriage, nobly + borne, to be better worth having than what people call an + 'ideal passion'—if the ideal passion must be enjoyed at + the expense of one of those fundamental rules which poor human + nature has worked out, with such infinite difficulty and pain, + for <a name="Page_189" + id="Page_189"></a>the protection and help of its own + weakness,"<a name="FNanchor_36_36" + id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" + class="fnanchor">[36]</a> I am aware that neither Mr. Grant + Allen with his "hill-top" novels, nor Mrs. Mona Caird need + be taken too seriously, but when the latter says, "There is + something pathetically absurd in this sacrifice to their + children of generation after generation of grown + people,"<a name="FNanchor_37_37" + id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" + class="fnanchor">[37]</a> I would suggest that it would be + still more pathetically absurd to see the whole + upward-striving past, the whole noble future of the human + race, sacrificed to their unruly wills and affections, their + passions and desires. If as Goldwin Smith says in his rough, + incisive way, "There is not much union of heart in marriage, + I do not see that there would be any more union of heart in + adultery."</p> + + <p>I have dwelt thus earnestly upon this point because the + sooner we realize for ourselves and our girls that any + relaxation of the marriage bond will in its disastrous + consequences fall upon us, and not upon men, the better. It is + the woman who first grows old and loses her personal + attractions, while a man often preserves his beauty into + extreme old age. It is the burdened mother of a family who + cannot compete in companionship with the highly cultured young + unmarried lady, with the leisure to post herself up in the last + interesting book or the newest political movement. It is the + man who is the more variable in his affections than + <a name="Page_190" + id="Page_190"></a>the woman; more constant as she is by + nature, as well as firmly anchored down by the strength of + her maternal love. It is therefore on the woman that any + loosening of the permanence of the marriage tie will chiefly + fall in untold suffering. "Le mariage c'est la justice," say + the French, who have had experience enough of "les unions + libres"—justice to the wife and mother, securing her + the stability of her right to her husband's affections, the + stability to her right of maintenance after she has given up + her means of support, above all, the stability of her right + to the care of her own children. If we want to study the + innate misery to women arising from the relaxation of the + married tie, or transient unions, we had better read + Professor Dowden's <i>Life of Shelley</i>—misery not + the result of public stigma, for there was no such stigma in + the circle in which Shelley moved, but misery brought about + by the facts themselves, and producing state of things which + Matthew Arnold could only characterize by the untranslatable + French word "<i>sale</i>." But nearer home, one of your most + brilliant writers, Mr. Henry James, has given us an equally + profitable study in his novelette, <i>What Maisie Knew</i>, + which I presume is intended as a satire on freedom of + divorce, but which again can only be characterized by the + French word "<i>sale</i>."</p> + + <p>I confess it does fill me with sardonic laughter to find + this oldest and stalest of all experiments, this oldest and + flattest of failures, paraded as a brand new <a name="Page_191" + id="Page_191"></a>and original panacea for all the woes of + our family life,—woes which, if nobly borne, at least + make "perfect through suffering."</p> + + <p>There is but one great rock-hewn dam successfully reared + against the lawless passions of men and women, and that is + Christian marriage. It has at least given us the Christian + home, and pure family life. And sometimes it fills me with + despair to see enlightened nations, like America and Australia, + whittling away and slowly undermining this great bulwark + against the devastating sea of human passion. If only I could + feel that any poor words of mine could in any faint measure + rouse American women to set themselves against what must in the + end affect the depth and steadfastness of those family + affections on which the beauty and solidity of the national + character mainly rest, I should feel indeed I had not lived in + vain.</p> + + <p>At least I can claim that one of your greatest women, + Frances Willard, was heart and soul with me on this point.</p> + + <p>And now to descend to lower levels. Could we not do a little + more to save our young girls from sacrificing their happiness + to false ideals by opportunely obtruding a little mature + common-sense into their day visions and their inexperienced way + of looking at things? It is all very well in the heyday of + life, when existence is full of delight and home affection, to + refuse a man who could make them happy, because they don't + quite like <a name="Page_192" + id="Page_192"></a>the shape of his nose, or because he is a + little untidy in his dress, or simply because they are + waiting for some impossible demigod to whom alone they could + surrender their independence. But could we not mildly point + out that darker days must come, when life will not be all + enjoyment, and that a lonely old age, with only too possible + penury to be encountered, must be taken into + consideration?</p> + + <p>God knows I am no advocate for loveless, and least of all + for mercenary marriages, but I think we want some <i>viâ + media</i> between the French <i>mariage de convenance</i> and + our English and American method of leaving so grave a question + as marriage entirely to the whimsies and romantic fancies of + young girls. We need not go back to the old fallacy that + marriage is the aim and end of a woman's existence, and + absolutely necessary for her happiness. Some women are + doubtless called to be mothers of the race, and to do the + social work which is so necessary to our complex civilization. + Some women may feel themselves called to some literary or + artistic pursuit, or some other profession, for which they + require the freedom of unmarried life. But I think I shall + carry most women with me in saying that for the ordinary woman + marriage is the happiest state, and that she rarely realizes + the deepest and highest in her nature except in wifehood and + motherhood. Rarely, indeed, can any public work that she can do + for the world equal the value of that priceless work of + building <a name="Page_193" + id="Page_193"></a>up, stone by stone, the temple of a good + man's character which falls to the lot of his mother. Truly + is she called the wife, the weaver, since day and night, + without hasting and without resting, she is weaving the + temple hangings, wrought about with pomegranates and lilies, + of the very shrine of his being. And if our girls could be + led to see this, at least it would overcome that adverseness + to marriage which many are now so curiously showing, and + which inevitably makes them more fastidious and fanciful in + their choice, And, on the other hand, without falling back + into the old match-making mamma, exposing her wares in the + marriage market to be knocked down to the highest bidder, + might not parents recognize a little more than they do how + incumbent on them it is to make every effort to give their + daughters that free and healthy intercourse with young men + which would yield them a wider choice, and which forms the + best method for insuring a happy marriage?</p> + + <p>At least, let us open our eyes to the fact that we are face + to face with some terrible problems with regard to the future + of our girls. With safe investments yielding less and less + interest, it must become more and more difficult to make a + provision for the unmarried daughters; and if the money is + spent instead on training them to earn their own bread, we are + still met by the problem of the early superannuation of women's + labor, which rests on physical causes, and cannot therefore be + <a name="Page_194" + id="Page_194"></a>removed. This at least is no time to + despise marriage, or for women of strong and independent + character to adopt an attitude which deprives the nation of + many of its noblest mothers.</p> + + <p>But if we are to facilitate marriage, which must form, at + any rate, the main solution of the problems of the near future + to which I have alluded, if we are to prevent, or even lessen, + the degradation of women, if we are to extinguish this pit of + destruction in our midst, into which so many a fair and + promising young life disappears, and which perpetually + threatens the moral and physical welfare of our own sons, if we + are to stay the seeds of moral decay in our own nation, we must + be content to revolutionize much in the order of our own life, + and adopt a lower and simpler standard of living. It is we, and + not men, who set the standard; it is we who have been guilty of + the vulgar ambition of following the last social fashion, and + doing as our richer neighbors do, until in England we have made + our girls such expensive articles that many young men simply + dare not indulge in them, and are led to seek in their + luxurious clubs the comfort which they should find in a home of + their own, with all that relaxation of moral fibre which comes + from club life. Do we seriously think that we are likely + successfully to contend against the degradation of women by our + Rescue Societies and our Refuges when we are deliberately + bringing about a social condition that ministers to + it?<a name="Page_195" + id="Page_195"></a> "Oh, of course," said a near relative of + my own, "no girl can marry comfortably and live in London + with less than a thousand a year." All I can answer is that + if this be so, it means the degradation of women writ + large.</p> + + <p>And have we even secured the happiness of our own daughters + by this high standard of living which prevents so many of them + from marrying at all? These unmarried girls, with no worthy + object in life to call out the noble energies that lie dormant + within them, "lasting" rather than "living,"—are they + really happy? Is not Robert Louis Stevenson right when he says + that "the ideal of the stalled ox is the one ideal that will + never satisfy either man or woman"? Were not the hardships of a + smaller income and a larger life—a life that would at + least satisfy a woman's worst foe, heart hunger,—more + adapted to their true nature, their true happiness?</p> + + <p>And to what further admirable results have we attained by + this high standard of comfort and luxury? Nature has carefully + provided for the equality of the sexes by sending rather more + boys than girls into the world, since fewer boys are reared; + but we have managed to derange this order. We have sent our + boys out into the world, but we have kept our girls at home, + refusing to allow them to rough it with husbands and brothers + or to endure the least hardness. The consequence is that we + have nearly a million of surplus women in the old country, + while in America, and in our <a name="Page_196" + id="Page_196"></a>own colonies, we have a corresponding + surplus of men, with all the evil moral consequences that + belong to a disproportion between the sexes. Truly we may + congratulate ourselves!</p> + + <p>I would therefore urge that if we are really to grapple with + these moral evils, we should simplify our standard of living, + and educate our girls very differently to what, at least in + England, we are doing. Culture is good, and the more we have of + it the better; it gives a woman a wider sphere of influence, as + well as more enlightened methods of using that influence. But + if dead languages are to take the place of living service; if + high mathematics are to work out a low plane of cooking and + household management; if a first class in moral science is to + involve third class performance of the moral duties involved in + family life, then I deliberately say it were better that, like + Tennyson's mother, we should be</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Not learned save in gracious + household ways."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>I protest with the uttermost earnestness against the care of + human life, of human health, and of human comfort being + considered a lower thing and of less importance than good + scholarship; or that, when we recognize that months and even + years will have to be devoted to the attainment of the one, the + arts by which we can fulfil those great human trusts which + devolve more or less upon every woman can be practised without + ever having been learnt at all.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_197" + id="Page_197"></a>Do not misunderstand me. Do not think I am + decrying a classical education; and, as the daughter of a + great mathematician, it is not likely that I should + underrate mathematics as a mental discipline. I am only + urging that they should be subordinated to higher and more + practical issues.</p> + + <p>I am thankfully aware that these remarks do not apply to + American women to the same degree in which they apply to our + English girls. The paucity of domestic servants, and the + consequent pressure of necessity, have saved you from the fine + lady ideal which we have adopted for our girls and the + exclusively book education into which we have almost + unconsciously drifted. You have been constrained to choose some + nobler type on which to mould your scheme of female education + than that of the tadpole, which is all head, no hands, a much + active and frivolous tail. Your girls are brought up not to + consider it beneath them to take part in the work of the house; + and something of the all round capability of American women + which so strikes us is doubtless owing to their not having + incurred "this Nemesis of disproportion," and therefore to + their combining intellectual culture with practical + efficiency.</p> + + <p>Why we should have taken this fine lady ideal for our girls, + when we take such a much more practical standard for our boys, + has always puzzled me. If an excellent opening offered itself + to one of our sons at a <a name="Page_198" + id="Page_198"></a>bank, we should agree with his father in + expecting him to take it, though it would involve the + drudgery of sitting in a cramped attitude on a tall stool + for hours and hours every day. Why should we accept life's + necessary drudgery for our boys and refuse it for our girls? + No life worth living can be had without drudgery,—the + most brilliant as well as the dullest. Darwin spent eight of + the best years of his life in an exhaustive investigation + into the organization of a barnacle—labor accompanied, + as all intellectual work was with him, by a constant sense + of physical nausea from which he suffered, till, from sheer + weariness and disgust at the drudgery, he ends his + researches in his emphatic way with the exclamation, + "D—— the barnacles!" At least a woman's + household drudgery does not end in a barnacle, or in dead + coin, but in a living and loved personality whose comfort + and health it secures. Blessed is drudgery, the homely + mother of Patience, "that young and rose-lipped cherubim," + of quiet endurance, of persistency in well-doing, of all the + stablest elements of character.</p> + + <p>Do not let us refuse to our girls the divine hardness which + is the very heart of a diviner joy and of that "fuller life" of + "which our veins are scant," nor refuse for them and for + ourselves the words of life: "As the Father hath sent Me into + the world, even so send I you"; but be content to send them + into the world to love, to suffer, to endure, to live and die + for the good of others.</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_199" + id="Page_199"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_34_34" + id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label"> + [34]</span></a> See some curious facts given in + Darwin's <i>Origin of Species</i>.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_35_35" + id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label"> + [35]</span></a> <i>David Grieve</i>, by Mrs. Humphry + Ward, sixth edition, p. 401.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_36_36" + id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label"> + [36]</span></a> <i>David Grieve</i>, p. 524.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_37_37" + id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label"> + [37]</span></a> <i>Nineteenth Century</i>, May, + 1892.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" + id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2> + + <h3>NATIONAL AND IMPERIAL ASPECTS</h3> + + <p>I cannot conclude these imperfect suggestions as to how we + may best carry up the moral training of our children, and + especially of our boys, to a higher level, without touching on + the wider and national aspect of the problems we have been + considering. Especially is this necessary in relation to that + attribute which, in common parlance, arrogates to itself the + name that covers the vast sweep of all moral obligation and + calls itself emphatically "morality." "Language," Dr. Martineau + has finely said, "is the great confessional of the human + heart"; and it may be in some instinctive sense that this + question of personal purity or the reverse is the determining + force for good or evil to the nation, as well as to the family, + that has given this restricted sense to the words "morality" + and "immorality." Yet we are possessed with an inveterate and + almost irreclaimable tendency to look at the question of purity + of life from a purely individualistic standpoint, and to regard + it as a matter concerning the individual rather than the social + organism. In electing a member for the Legislature how often + have <a name="Page_200" + id="Page_200"></a>we not been told that we are only + concerned with his public career, and have nothing whatever + to do with his private life, though the private life is only + another expression for the man himself; and how can we be + called upon to entrust the destinies of our country to a + libertine who habitually violates the obligations of his own + manhood and does his best to lower and degrade the womanhood + of the people he is called as a member of the Legislature to + protect and to raise? When shall we learn that whatever + touches the higher life and well-being of the family still + more vitally affects the wider family of the State, and + threatens its disintegration? The family in some lower form + will survive in the most corrupt form of society; but the + State, as an organized polity, capable of embodying, + preserving, and promoting the higher life of the nation, + perishes.</p> + + <p>I am the more led to dwell earnestly on these wider aspects, + since that great epoch-making commemoration which marked the + sixtieth year of the reign of our Queen, and which brought home + to the consciousness of the nation, as nothing else has ever + done, its vast world-wide responsibilities. That great national + festival, with its proud imperial note, in which we celebrated + the rise and progress of that "larger Venice with no narrow + canals, but the sea itself for streets," will forever form a + landmark in English history. None who witnessed it will ever + forget that spectacle, of men of all races and color, of all + creeds and traditions, <a name="Page_201" + id="Page_201"></a>assembled together as brothers and + fellow-subjects, to do honor to a woman's gracious sway of + sixty years. And is there not a deep significance in the + fact that these men of warring creeds and opposed traditions + came together to do homage to no commanding personality, no + Semiramis or Boadicea of old, no Catherine of Russia or + Elizabeth of England; but to a sovereign whose chief + characteristic has been that of being a true woman, with a + true woman's instinctive sagacity and wisdom of the heart: a + woman with no glamour of youth and beauty, but bowed with + the weight of years and widowhood and cares of State; a + Queen who, on the morning of her crowning triumph, sent + forth no royal proclamation couched in set and pompous + periods, but laid her trembling hands on the bowed head of + her people, and gave them a simple mother's blessing: "Tell + my beloved people that I pray from the bottom of my heart + that God may bless them"?</p> + + <p>May I not take it as the very embodiment of all that I have + been urging on the women of this day, the immense possibilities + of good that lie latent in our womanhood, the vast issues of + good to the nation, and through it to the world, if that + womanhood is only true to itself?</p> + + <p>For let us clearly realize that this great moral question is + no question confined to the narrow limits of the home, but a + question of the rise and fall of nations. This is a truism of + history. All history teaches us that the welfare and very life + of a nation is determined <a name="Page_202" + id="Page_202"></a>by moral causes; and that it is the pure + races that respect their women and guard them jealously from + defilement that are the tough, prolific, ascendant races, + the noblest in type and the most fruitful in propagating + themselves. You will never find a permanently progressive + race where the position of women is low, the men libertine, + and the state of society corrupt. What was it that made the + most brilliant civilization the world has ever + seen—the civilization which still gives us the + inexhaustible wells of our intellectual life—what was + it that made it the shortest-lived? Few, I think, would deny + that the rapid decadence of Greece, despite her splendid + intellectual life, was due to moral causes. Not the pure, + but the impure—the brilliant Hetairć—were the + companions of men, and the men themselves were stained with + nameless vices. Speaking of the decay of the Athenian + people, Mr. Francis Galton says: "We know, and may guess + something more, of the reason why this marvellously gifted + race declined. Social morality grew exceedingly lax; + marriage became unfashionable and was avoided; many of the + more ambitious and accomplished women were avowed + courtesans, and consequently infertile; and the mothers of + the incoming population were of a heterogeneous + class."<a name="FNanchor_38_38" + id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" + class="fnanchor">[38]</a> What was it that made the Egyptian + civilization one of the longest-lived of ancient + civilizations? Was it not, as we now find by her monuments, + <a name="Page_203" + id="Page_203"></a>that the position of women was high; the + wife was enthroned by the side of her husband, and impurity + was condemned by the moral sense of the nation? What was it + that enabled our barbaric ancestors, the Teutons, to + overthrow the whole power of civilized Rome? On the + authority of Tacitus, we know that they were singularly + pure. Their women were held in the highest reverence, and + believed to have something divine about them, some breath of + prophetic insight. Their young men were not allowed to marry + till they were five-and-twenty—in other words, till + their frame was thoroughly matured. Impurity before marriage + was strongly discountenanced in both sexes. Therefore the + whole power of Rome, honeycombed as it was by moral + corruption and sexual vice, could not stand before these + pure barbarians.</p> + + <p>And if these mighty civilizations have perished from moral + causes, do we really think that the moral law—will</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Of which the solid earth and + sky<br /></span> <span class="i0">Are but the fitful + shadows cast on high"—<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>suspend its operation out of compliment to the greatness of + the British empire or of the American Republic, if they, too, + become morally corrupt; or will not those old vanished nations, + in the magnificent words of the Hebrew prophet, greet the + phantom of their departed greatness in the land of shadows: + "What, art thou, also, become weak as we? Art thou also like + <a name="Page_204" + id="Page_204"></a>unto us? Thy pomp is brought down to the + grave; the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover + thee."</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"We talk of our greatness," says Mr. Froude; "do we + really know in what a nation's greatness consists? Whether + it be great or little depends entirely on what sort of men + and women it is producing. A sound nation is a nation that + is made up of sound human beings, healthy in body, strong + of limb, true in word and deed, brave, sober, temperate, + and chaste, to whom morals are of more importance than + wealth or knowledge; where duty is first and the rights of + man are second; where, in short, men grow up, and live, and + work, having in them what our ancestors called 'the fear of + God.' It is to form a character of this kind that human + beings are sent into the world. Unless England's greatness + in this sense has the principle of growth in it, it were + better for us that a millstone were hanged about our neck, + and that we were drowned in the midst of the sea."</p> + + <p>"I feel more and more," said Mrs. Fawcett in words + addressed to a great meeting of men in the Manchester Free + Trade Hall—words that I wish could be written upon + every heart—" that the great question whether the + relations of men and women shall be pure and virtuous or + impure and vile lies at the root of all national well-being + and progress. The main requisite towards a better state of + things than now exists cannot be brought about by any + outside agency. There is no royal road to virtue and + purity. Law can do something to punish wickedness, but + improvement in the law is mainly valuable as an indication + that the public standard of morality is raised. Let us get + good laws if we can; but there is only one way of really + obtaining a nobler national existence, and that is by each + of us individually learning to hate and detest the vile + self-indulgence that covers the life of those who are the + victims of it with shame and degradation. Self-control and + respect for the rights of others are the only cure for the + terrible national danger which threatens us. If men and + women would learn never to take pleasure in what brings + pain, shame, misery, and moral death to others, earth + <a name="Page_205" + id="Page_205"></a>would be turned into a heaven. It + would be incredible if it were not true that for mere + selfish indulgence thousands of men are willing to drag + women down to what even these men themselves recognize + as the lowest dregs of humanity. Where is their + chivalry? Where is their common humanity? Some would say + that such men do not possess either. For my part, I do + not believe this. Let women thankfully acknowledge that, + so far as other matters are concerned, they are + constantly indebted to the chivalrous self-sacrifice of + men. Chivalry is not dead; generous self-sacrifice is + not dead; but in far too many cases, with regard to the + all-important question of personal purity, they are + sleeping. Our efforts must be directed to awakening + them. We must try and make men realize the callous + cruelty of all actions which lower the womanhood of even + the poorest and most degraded of women."</p> + </div> + + <p>And if we refuse, sunk in our own selfish interests and + pleasures, and content that the daughters of the people should + perish as long as our own are safe, then it will not be by an + European coalition that the British Empire will perish, it will + be by moral decay from within; in Blake's rough, strong + words:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"The harlot's curse from street to + street<br /></span> <span class="i0">Shall be old + England's winding sheet."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>The British Empire, the great American Republic, the two + greatest civilizing, order-spreading, Christianizing + world-powers ever known, can only be saved by a solemn league + and covenant of their women to bring back simplicity of life, + plain living, high thinking, reverence for marriage laws, + chivalrous respect for all womanhood, and a high standard of + purity for men and women alike.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_206" + id="Page_206"></a>Suffer me to lay before you three + considerations, which will prove to you at once that this + great moral question is more vital to our two nations than + to any other, and that we are peculiarly vulnerable to the + action of moral causes.</p> + + <p>Firstly, England, and in one sense England alone, is the + mighty mother of nations. Three great nations have already + sprung from her loins; a fourth in Africa is already in process + of consolidation. From the narrow confines of our sea-girt + island our people pour into all quarters of the globe; and if + we suffer England to know corruption we send forth polluted + waters into all lands. Your great Republic, on the other hand, + is a mother of nations in another sense, since she receives + into her mighty bosom vast numbers drawn from the suffering + peoples of the old world, and gives them a mother's welcome. + According as your civilization is high and pure, or low and + corrupt, so will those naturalized citizens be. Decay with + great empires, as with fish, sets in at the head; and the moral + decadence of England and America will sensibly lower the moral + standard of nearly one-third of the population of the + world.<a name="FNanchor_39_39" + id="FNanchor_39_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_39_39" + class="fnanchor">[39]</a> The heart of the two nations is + still sound. It is not too late. We are at least free from + the continental system, by which the degradation of women is + reduced to a systematized slavery, to meet what is + <a name="Page_207" + id="Page_207"></a>openly called a necessity of nature. The + comparative purity of Englishmen and Americans is still a + wonder, and often a derision to foreigners. Our women are a + greater power than in any other country. We still start from + a good vantage-ground.</p> + + <p>England, certainly through no merit of her own, has been + called by the providence of God to lead in great moral causes. + We led in the matter of slavery—the open sore of the + world. We English and American women are now called to lead, in + this its hidden sore, for the healing of the nations.</p> + + <p>Secondly, since you have elected to go beyond your own + confines and have dependencies, and so take up the white man's + burden of civilizing and Christianizing the world, your men as + well as ours will be exposed to that dangerously lowering + influence, contact with lower races and alien civilizations. An + Englishman in India, if he be not a religious man, is apt to + blind himself to wrongs done to womanhood, because those wrongs + are often done to a pariah caste who are already set apart for + infamy; though I have not yet heard of an Englishman possessing + himself of slaves on the ground that they were slaves already + to their native masters. Worse still, in savage or + semi-civilized countries the native girl, far from feeling + herself degraded, considers that she is raised by any union, + however illicit, with a white man. It is the native men who are + furious. Which of us in England did not feel an ache of shame + in our <a name="Page_208" + id="Page_208"></a>hearts over the plea of the Matabele to + the white man: "You have taken our lands, and our + hunting-grounds are gone. You have taken our herds, and we + want for food. You have taken our young men, and made them + slaves in your mines. You have taken our women <i>and done + what you like with them</i>." How many of our native wars + may not have had as their cause that last sentence in the + plaint of the Matabele, a cause carefully concealed from the + public eye? For God's sake, let mothers teach their sons + that first rudiment in manly character, the recognition that + the girls of a conquered race, or of a barbarian tribe + inhabiting one of our spheres of influence, from the very + fact that they are a conquered race, or, if not conquered, + hopelessly and piteously in our power, are <i>ipso facto</i> + a most sacred trust to us, which it is both unmanly and + bestial to violate. Especially I would plead with mothers to + send us pure men for our army—officers who will set + their men a high example of chivalry towards the weakest + native woman, and who will so influence them by example and + personal influence that they may look upon voluntarily + disabling themselves from active service, while still taking + the government pay, as unmanly and unsoldierly. Give us men + who can say with a non-commissioned officer writing home to + one of our White Cross secretaries: "I have been out in + India now eleven years and have never had a day's illness; + and I think the whole secret of my good health + <a name="Page_209" + id="Page_209"></a>is total abstinence from all that + intoxicates, and that I honor all women as I honor my mother + or any of my sisters."</p> + + <p>Thirdly, the hardest thing on earth is not to slay a sin, + but to get it buried; and the hardest of all sins to get under + ground is the sin of impurity. It is largely due to the low + standard of purity among men that we owe the almost insoluble + problem presented by the existence of the large Eurasian + population in India, and of the half-caste generally.</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"The universal unanimity of the popular verdict on the + half-caste is remarkable," says Olive Schreiner in some + powerful articles published in <i>Blackwood</i> on the + problems presented by our Colonial Empire. "The half-caste, + it is asserted in every country where he is known, whether + it be in America, Asia, or Africa, and whether his + ancestors be English and negroid Spanish and Indian, or + Boer and Hottentot,—the self-caste is by nature + anti-social. It is always asserted that he possesses the + vices of both parent races and the virtues of neither: that + he is born especially with a tendency to be a liar, + cowardly, licentious, and without self-respect."</p> + </div> + + <p>Olive Schreiner herself is the first to admit that there are + exceptions. She says:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"The fact that amongst the most despised class of our + laboring half-castes we have all met individuals, not only + of the highest integrity, but of rare moral beauty and of + heroic and fully developed social feelings, does not impugn + the theory of his unfortunate position. If you should sow + human seed inside the door of hell, some of it would yet + come up white lilies. But as a rule the popular verdict on + the half-caste is not overdrawn."</p> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_210" + id="Page_210"></a>I strongly agree with Mrs. Schreiner that + this lamentable result is not due solely, or even chiefly, + to the admixture of races, but far more to the circumstances + in which he has been born and bred. He has originated in + almost all cases, not from the union of average individuals + of the two races uniting under average conditions, but as + the result of a sexual union between the most helpless and + enslaved females of the dark race and the most recklessly + dominant males of the white. "He enters a world in which + there was no place prepared for him." His father was about + as sensible of his parental obligations towards him as a + toad towards its spawn in the next ditch. To him he "was a + broken wineglass from last night's feast." "Often without a + family, always without a nation or race, without education + or moral training, and despised by the society in which he + was born," is it any wonder that the half-caste is the curse + of the community in which he is found;—one of those + whips, as Shakespeare reminds us, that "heaven makes out of + our pleasant vices" to "scourge" us into some sense of their + seriousness?</p> + + <p>If you would not incur that curse, that insoluble problem of + the half-caste, then in both your civil and military services + send out men of clean hearts and lives into your dependencies, + Alas! in your great military camps during your Spanish war a + moral laxity was allowed, which, had it been attempted in + the<a name="Page_211" + id="Page_211"></a> Egyptian campaign, Lord Kitchener would + have stamped out with a divine fury. I had it from an + eyewitness, but the details are wholly unfit for + publication.</p> + + <p>I do not hold with our "little Englanders" that the + possession of an empire is a disaster; on the contrary, I hold + that it constitutes a splendid school for the formation of + strong character,—of men who are the very salt of the + earth,—and that the sense of a great mission to be + fulfilled tends to give a nobility of soul to the whole nation; + while even the wars it may involve prove the vultures of God + swooping down on the hidden social rottennesses which in + prolonged peace may breed unnoticed and unreproved. We have + never forgotten the bitter lessons of the Crimean war which + laid bare our miserable incompetence in organizing, and the + moral rottenness of our English firms that could supply our + soldiers with paper-soled boots and bayonets that bent at a + thrust, when the very life of our brave fellows depended on + their being well armed and well shod.</p> + + <p>America will never forget the sufferings of her wounded in + the Spanish war, sufferings caused by the like dishonesty in + the goods supplied and the like criminal incompetency which + failed to provide them even with necessaries.</p> + + <p>But I do say that an empire presents many difficult + problems, and that the men who accept its responsibilities need + a sound head, clean hands, and above all a pure heart.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_212" + id="Page_212"></a>Let me in conclusion relate an incident + which happened in the wreck of the <i>Warren Hastings</i>, + to which I have already alluded,—an incident which I + can never tell without a breaking voice and eyes full of + tears. In that awful night of storm and darkness and iminent + shipwreck, the officer in command, after ordering his men + below to lighten the crowded deck, stationed two of his men + at a narrow gangway through which he feared an ugly rush for + life might be made, while the women and children were being + embarked, bidding them on no account to leave their post + till he gave them the word of command. At length the women + and the sick had all been saved in the boats. This done, and + not till then, the men had saved themselves, some by boats, + some by life preservers; and last of all the captain and + officer in command were proceeding to leave the fast + foundering ship, when the latter heard a voice close to him, + saying, "Colonel, may we leave now?" It was the voice of one + of his two sentinels. In the stress and strain of the awful + scenes of that night he had for the moment forgotten that he + had ordered them not to leave their post until he gave the + word of command. And he said that <i>the water was almost up + to their lips!</i></p> + + <p>Oh ye mothers of America and of our great Empire! send us + such men as these,—men who will mount guard over women + and children in all lands, and see, as far as in them lies, + that they do not make shipwreck of <a name="Page_213" + id="Page_213"></a>what is dearer than life;—men who, + even with the bitter waters of temptation up to their own + lips, will still hold their post and see that no man, to + save himself, drives them down into that dread sea of + perdition which never gives up its dead.</p> + + <p>Then East, West, North, South, the American flag will + witness in the face of all nations to the true manhood that + steers its course by no earth-born fires of passion and selfish + lust, but by the eternal stars, the heavenly lights of God, and + mother, and duty, and home.</p> + + <p>East, West, North, South, by its side our flag, twice scored + with the White Cross, will float wide in the face of all + nations the Englishman's faith, reverence for womanhood, + self-giving manhood, and the pure heart that sees God.</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_214" + id="Page_214"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_38_38" + id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label"> + [38]</span></a> <i>Hereditary Genius</i>, by Francis + Galton, p. 331.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_39_39" + id="Footnote_39_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_39_39"><span class="label"> + [39]</span></a> Great Britain, since the conquest of + the Soudan, rules one-fourth of the population of the + world.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" + id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI</h2> + + <h3>THE DYNAMIC ASPECT OF EVIL<a name="FNanchor_40_40" + id="FNanchor_40_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_40_40" + class="fnanchor">[40]</a></h3> + + <p>There remains yet one other way in which I earnestly desire + to help you if I can. I would fain afford you some light on + this difficult problem and give you a spring of hope within by + enabling you to see what it is working out in the world + without. Some, I know, do not need this help. Some wholesome + souls seem to gaze on all evil with sun-dazzled eyes—eyes + that see Him in whom they walk, and not it, and in His light + they see light. They are the "naturally Christian" souls who + lead melodious days amid all the jars and discords of the world + around them. Others there are who seem to look upon these great + social evils as especially provided to afford a sphere for + their beneficent activities; and who if, by some sudden rise in + public opinion, some passionate sense of the wrong done to + women, the degraded class should almost cease + <a name="Page_215" + id="Page_215"></a>to exist, would in their heart of hearts + secretly regret so many empty beds in their little Rescue + Home and the possibility that it might have to be shut up, + when "the girls did turn out so well." Others, again, there + are who never trouble their heads or hearts about the misery + and sin of the world, or any social problem, however dark, + as long as their own house is comfortable, their own bed + soft, and their own children healthy and well cared for, + never dreaming how those social evils may press upon those + children in their after-life. These are in no need of this + kind of help. But there are many thoughtful mothers, + possibly an increasing number with the increase of knowledge + that is coming to all women, from whose heart there is going + up a bitter cry, "Why, oh why is all this evil permitted?" + Why is there this nameless moral difficulty at the very + heart of our life which our whole soul revolts from + contemplating? Why has Nature made these passions so strong + that she seems wholly regardless of all considerations of + morality?<a name="FNanchor_41_41" + id="FNanchor_41_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_41_41" + class="fnanchor">[41]</a></p> + + <p>Some there are who feel that all infidel books are mere + curl-paper in comparison with the terrible facts + <a name="Page_216" + id="Page_216"></a>of life, some who are in danger of having + all faith crushed out of them—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Beneath the weary and the heavy + weight<br /></span> <span class="i0">Of all this + unintelligible world."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>It is these who need, like myself, as a first step to strong + action, to see something of what God is working out by the evil + and suffering of the world, to see it as a part of a vast + redemptive whole, not as a great exception in our life, but + working under the same law by which, in the words of the + ancient collect, "things which are cast down are being raised + up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and all + things are returning to perfection through Him from whom they + had their origin."</p> + + <p>Now, do not think that I am going to indulge in a + dissertation on the origin of evil or why the world is so full + of sin and misery. This is insoluble. You cannot solve a + problem which has only one term. Your unknown quantity must + have some known factor or factors related to it, or you cannot + resolve it into the known. In this great claim of cause and + effect, where all things are related and interdependent, you + can only know a related thing through its relations. Try to + account for a bit of chalk, for instance, and consider all you + must know in order to enable you to do so. To account for its + weight you must know something about the motion of the whole + planetary system and the law of gravity <a name="Page_217" + id="Page_217"></a>that controls that system; to account for + the weather-stains upon it, you must know something about + chemical reaction; to account for its being chalk and not + flint, you must know something of the geological ages of the + earth, and how it comes to be built up of little sea-shells; + to account for its hardness, you must know something of the + intricacies of molecular physics. All this you must know to + account for a mere bit of chalk. How, then, can we expect to + understand the problem of the world when we know absolutely + nothing of its relations with the great moral and spiritual + whole to which it belongs, and without the knowledge of + which it must for ever remain an insoluble problem, + presenting one term only, an enigma of which we do not + possess the key?</p> + + <p>But though we cannot understand the origin of evil and why + the world is as it is, we can understand something of the + processes which are at work for good or ill. We can in a + measure trace whether these processes are making slowly but + surely for righteousness, or whether all the sin and the + suffering are aimless and purposeless, a voice that cries + "believe no more,"</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i1">"An ever breaking shore<br /></span> + <span class="i0">That tumbles in a godless + deep."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>Now, I contend that the only ground of despair, the only + thing that might-shut us up to pessimism and to "a philosophy + only just above suicide mark," would <a name="Page_218" + id="Page_218"></a>be not the presence but the absence of + these great world evils. If this world presented a + dead-level of comfortable selfishness that on the whole + answered fairly well all round, an economy of petty + self-interests in stable equilibrium, a world generally + wrong, but working out no evil in particular to set it + right, a society in which every man was for himself, and not + the devil, as at present, but God for us all—then + indeed we might despair. But who can contemplate humanity as + it is, that broken stair of the Divinity, whose top is in + the unapproachable light of heaven and whose lowest step + rests not on earth but in hell, without feeling that it is + destined for an infinite progress, destined for the + ascending feet of angels? Who that gazes on this world, with + its infinite depths of pain, its heavy weight of evil, its + abysmal falls, its stupendous pressures of wrong and misery, + but feels that here, if anywhere, we are in the presence of + kinetic energies, of immense moral and spiritual forces, + capable of raising the whole of fallen humanity to the + heights of the Divine. For let us remember that in the moral + and spiritual world, as well as in the physical, no fall but + carries with it the force that can be converted into a rise; + no dread resistance of wrong to the right but creates an + accumulated force which once let loose can transform an + empire; no weight of evil but, in pulling it down, can be + made to raise the whole bent of our life.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Man partly is, and wholly hopes to + be."<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p><a name="Page_219" + id="Page_219"></a>He is "no finite and finished clod." + Progress, as Browning says, is his distinctive mark, and + these deep evils are the gigantic steps by which he rises as + he treads them under foot. Once recognize the fact that he + is a fallen being—and by that I mean no theological + dogma, but a truth of life, which, whatever our creed may + be, must stare us in the face—the fact that he is a + being knowing good but choosing evil, capable of an ideal + but habitually falling below it, no mere automaton, but + possessed of a spiritual will and an accusing + conscience—I ask how else can he be educated, in the + true sense of the word, and raised from death unto life + except by being made to educe his own results and work out + his evil premiss to the bitter end, till he is forced to go + back upon himself, and recognize the right principle which + he has violated? The very law of his being, of every being + who is being raised from death unto life, is, that he can + only know life through death, only grasp good by grappling + with evil, only gain knowledge by knowing ignorance; his + highest must be sown in weakness before it can be raised in + power, must be sown in dishonor before it can be raised in + glory.</p> + + <p>Look back over the past and see if it is not in conflict + with these great world evils, themselves the results of man's + moral blindness and sin, that we have worked out the true + principles of our life, the higher possibilities of our + humanity.</p> + + <p><a name="Page_220" + id="Page_220"></a>Take the most elementary case first, man's + disobedience to the physical laws under which he must live + to have a sound mind in a sound body. Man in his primitive + stages is emphatically not a clean animal. On the contrary, + he is a very dirty one. He has none of the cat's dainty + neatness and cleanliness, none of her instinctive + recognition of the deodorizing and purifying power of the + earth, that makes the foulest thing once buried spring up in + fresh grass and fragrant flowers. He has nothing of the + imperative impulse of the little ant which he treads under + his lordly feet to shampoo his brother, let alone himself. + It has needed the discipline and the suffering of the ages + to evolve that great banner of progress, the clean shirt. + From what great world pestilences has he not had to suffer + as the consequences of his own uncleanliness! Cholera has + been rightly called the beneficent sanitary inspector of the + world. With what foul diseases, the very details of which + would sicken, has he not had to be scourged withal to get + him to recognize and obey the one Divine injunction, "Wash + and be clean"! Truly his knowledge and recognition of + sanitary law, his "physical righteousness," has had to be + sown in the weakness and corruption of disease before it + could be raised to the power of a recognized law of life, + insuring that cleanliness which is next to godliness.</p> + + <p>Again, take the great principle of national + freedom,—that a nation has a right to govern its own + destinies.<a name="Page_221" + id="Page_221"></a> With what world tyrannies and + oppressions, the outcome of man's selfish lust of power and + wealth, have not the peoples had to fight and struggle in + order at length to win and get recognized that principle of + freedom without which a nation can be neither strong nor + holy, neither a citadel nor a temple! The Iron Duke used to + say, "There is but one thing worse than a battle gained, and + that is a battle lost." Yet what battles lost and what + battles gained, with all their sickening sights and + sounds—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"Oaths, insults, filth, and monstrous + blasphemies,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Sweat, + writhings, anguish, laboring of lungs,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">In that close mist, and cryings for + the light,<br /></span> <span class="i0">Moans of the + dying and voices of the dead";<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>what bloody conflicts through the long ages have not had to + be fought out to gain this freedom! Truly we might apostrophize + Freedom in the words of the Hebrew prophet: "Who is this that + cometh with her garments dyed in blood?" Through what long + centuries did not what Sir John Seeley called the "mechanical + theory of government" survive, the theory which recognized no + vital bond of blood and historical tradition between a people + and its government, but looked upon nations as royal appanages, + to be banded about with royal alliances and passed under an + alien sway without consent on its own part! Did it not require + a Napoleon to work out this false premiss to its bitter end, + drenching Europe in blood to gratify his own greed of power, + and <a name="Page_222" + id="Page_222"></a>reducing nation after nation to his alien + and despotic rule, till it was felt to be intolerable, and + with a convulsive struggle Europe threw off the yoke? Truly + a struggle which was the birth-throes of national sentiment + and the recognition that the tie between the governed and + the governing must be an organic one, a tie of blood from + within, not a force from without—in one word, the + recognition of the great principle of national freedom + which, when the nation is sufficiently developed and + self-disciplined to be fit for it, is the great mother of + progress. Sown in the corruption of those mangled and + decaying corpses on many an awful battle-field, freedom is + raised to the glory of an incorruptible truth of national + life.</p> + + <p>Once again, was it not in his age-long conflict with the + great world evil of slavery that man worked out the true nature + of a moral personality? Man started at the outset with the evil + premiss of the right of the strong to possess himself of the + weak and the conquered, and enslave him for his own use, + shunting the toil and burden of life upon his bowed shoulders. + Through long ages he had to work out this wrong premiss in + disaster to empires through the laziness and worthlessness of + their ruling classes engendered by slave labor, in the dumb + suffering and bitter wrongs of millions of enslaved men and + women. Through centuries the Church protested against these + wrongs in vain, since the evil root, in the face of all + protests, will <a name="Page_223" + id="Page_223"></a>go on bearing the evil fruit. England, + herself the mother of free peoples, was stained with the + guilt of being one of the first to originate the worst form + of slavery that the world has ever seen, the African + slave-trade, her great Queen Elizabeth not scorning to + enrich her royal coffers out of the profits of slave-raiding + expeditions conducted by her sea-captains. It needed the + horrors of this latest development of the principle of + slavery, the horrors of the middle passage, of whole regions + of Africa decimated to supply the slave market, of mothers + torn from their children, or, worse still, compelled to bear + them to their slave masters, only to see them in their turn + sold to some far-off station; of the degradation of men and + women brought up in heathen ignorance lest they should use + their knowledge to rebel—it needed all this weight of + evil and disaster at last to rouse the conscience of Europe + to recognize that slavery was wrong in itself and to cast + out the evil premiss on which it rested. By the mere force + of moral revulsion in England, by the throes of a great + civil war engendered by slavery in America, at last the true + nature of a moral personality got itself + recognized,—the inviolability of personal + responsibility, the sanctity of the individual, the + sacredness of freedom,—those great principles on which + the whole of our public and political life are founded. And + I make bold to say that these principles were gained as a + heritage for all time, not by the preaching of abstract + <a name="Page_224" + id="Page_224"></a>justice, not by any consideration of the + moral beauty of liberty, but mainly by a remorseful passion + over the wrongs and the degradation of the slave. These + great principles were sown in weakness and dishonor, to be + raised in honor and in the power of an endless life.</p> + + <p>When, therefore, the Church of the living God awakes, as she + is just beginning to do, and closes in a life and death + struggle with this far deeper and more pervasive evil of the + degradation of women and children, which she has too long + accepted as a melancholy necessity of human nature, may we not + find in the course of that conflict that wholly new powers and + new principles are being evolved, and that the apparent + impossibilities of our nature are only its divine possibilities + in disguise? May we not work out the true principles, not now + of our public and political life, but of the home, of the + family, of personal conduct and character—all those great + moral bases on which the whole social structure rests for its + stability? Granted that this is the deepest and strongest of + all our world evils, that which is the most firmly based on the + original forces of our nature, and of that part of our nature + which has shown the deepest disorder—does not all this + point to some great issue? That which has been sown in such + deep dishonor, will it not be raised in some glory that + excelleth?</p> + + <p>If God has suffered mighty empires and whole kingdoms to be + wrecked on this one evil; if He has made <a name="Page_225" + id="Page_225"></a>it throughout the Old Scriptures the + symbol of departure from Himself, and closely associated + monogamic love with monotheistic worship, teaching us by the + history of all ancient idolatries that the race which is + impure spawns unclean idols and Phrygian rites; if Nature + attaches such preciousness to purity in man that the + statistics of insurance offices value a young man's life at + twenty-five, the very prime of well-regulated manhood, at + exactly one-half of what it is worth at fourteen, owing, Dr. + Carpenter does not hesitate to say, to the indulgence of the + passions of youth; if the tender Father, "who sits by the + death-bed of the little sparrow," has not thought it too + great a price to pay that countless women and children + should be sunk to hell without a chance in this life, in a + degradation that has no name, but which, in its very depth, + measures the height of the sanctity of womanhood; do we + think that all these stupendous issues are for no end and to + work out no purpose? Do we not feel at once that we stand + here at the very centre of the mighty forces that are + moulding men to nobler shape and higher use?</p> + + <p>Here, at least, is a force, if we will only use it, so + weighted with public disaster, with national decay, with + private misery, that it insists on making itself felt if there + be a spark of life left and the nation has not become mere dead + carcase for the vultures of God's judgments to prey upon. Here + alone is a power strong enough to compel us to simplify our + life and restore its old divine <a name="Page_226" + id="Page_226"></a>order of marriage and hard work, of "plain + living and high thinking," which luxury and self-ease are + fast undermining. Here, in the slain of the daughters of our + people, is a stinging wrong that will goad us into seeing + that the people are so housed that a human life is possible + to them. Here, if anywhere, is a passion of conscience, and + pity, and duty, and interest combined, strong enough, a + heaped-up weight of evil heavy enough, to raise us to a + self-giving manhood and a self-reverencing womanhood.</p> + + <p>And from this secret place of thunder is not God now calling + His chosen ones to come forward and be fellow-workers with Him? + And when that call is obeyed, when, to summarize what I have + already said, the wrongs and degradation of women and hapless + children take hold of men, as, thank God, they are beginning to + take hold, with a remorseful passion, that passion for the + weak, the wronged, and the defenceless, which surely is the + divine in flower in a human soul; when women rise up in a wild + revolt against</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i4">"The law that now is + paramount,<br /></span> <span class="i0">The common law + by which the poor and weak<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Are trampled under foot of vicious + men,<br /></span> <span class="i0">And loathed forever + after by the good";<br /></span> + </div> + </div> + + <p>when the Christian Church at length hears the persistent + interrogation of her Lord, "Seest thou this woman?" and makes + answer, "Yea, Lord, I see that she is young, and poor, and + outcast, and degraded," and <a name="Page_227" + id="Page_227"></a>speaks to young men with something of the + passion of the true Man—"It were better for you that a + millstone were hanged about your neck and you cast into the + depths of the sea, than that you should cause one of these + little ones to stumble"; when the fact that a foolish, giddy + girl's feet have slipped and fallen is no longer the signal + for every man to look upon her as fair game, and to trample + her deeper into the mire, but the signal to every man + calling himself a man to hasten to her side, to raise her up + again and restore her to her lost womanhood; when boys are + taught from their earliest years that if they would have a + clear brain, a firm nerve, and a strong muscle, they must be + pure, and purity is looked upon as manly, at least, as much + as truth and courage; when women are no longer so lost to + the dignity of their own womanhood as to make companions of + the very men who insult and degrade it; when the woman + requires the man to come to her in holy marriage in the + glory of his unfallen manhood, as he requires her to come to + him in the beauty of her spotless maidenhood; then, when + these things begin to be, will not God's order slowly evolve + itself out of our disorder, and the man will become the head + of the woman, to guard her from all that makes her unfit to + be the mother of the race, and the woman will be the heart + of the man, to inspire him with all noble purpose? As we + stand by this great world-sepulchre of corruption our + unbelieving heart can only exclaim: "It <a name="Page_228" + id="Page_228"></a>stinketh." But the Christ meets us with + the words, "Said I not unto thee that if thou wouldst + believe, thou shouldst see the glory of God?" That which has + been sown in human weakness must be raised in divine power; + that which has been sown in deep dishonor must be raised in + glory. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, even + the self-giving manhood of Him who is the Prince of Passion + and the Lord of Love, the manhood lifted into God.</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_229" + id="Page_229"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_40_40" + id="Footnote_40_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_40_40"><span class="label"> + [40]</span></a> In this chapter I have quoted some + passages from an article of mine, "The Apocalypse of + Evil," which appeared in the <i>Contemporary + Review</i>, and received the strong commendation of Dr. + Lightfoot, then Bishop of Durham. Many of the thoughts + I owe to my friend, James Hinton, to whom my + obligations on this subject are absolute.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_41_41" + id="Footnote_41_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_41_41"><span class="label"> + [41]</span></a> We must be careful, however, in urging + this difficulty, to remember Dr. Martineau's teaching, + which I have given in the third chapter, and bear in + mind that the evil here is due to man's disorder, and + not to Nature's order. In the animal world the + reproductive instincts work out as orderly results as + all other natural instincts, and are no stronger than + is necessary for the preservation of the race.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="CONCLUSION" + id="CONCLUSION"></a>CONCLUSION</h2> + + <p>And it is this great upward movement, lifting man to a + higher level, which is given into the hands of us women, + touching, as it does, all the great trusts of our womanhood. + What are we women going to do in the face of such vast issues + for good or evil?</p> + + <p>Undoubtedly we stand at the parting of the ways. In England + undoubtedly the old high traditions of English society have, at + least in what is called the "Upper Ten," been lowered and + vulgarized. Our literature is no longer as clean and wholesome + as it was. The greater freedom that women enjoy has not always + been put to high uses. And all around us in both countries the + old order is changing, and the new order is not yet born. Old + positions are becoming untenable, with the higher position and + culture of women. It is becoming an impossibility for + intelligent women with a knowledge of physiology and an added + sense of their own dignity to accept the lower moral standard + for men, which exposes them to the risk of exchanging monogamy + for a peculiarly vile polygamy—polygamy with its + sensuality, but without its duties—bringing physical + risks to their children and the terrible likelihood of an + inherited moral taint to their sons. It is an + <a name="Page_230" + id="Page_230"></a>impossibility, now that mothers know, that + they should remain indifferent as to what sort of manhood + they send out into the world—the so-called manhood + that either makes and maintains the miserable sinner of our + streets or is content to give a tainted name to the mother + of his child, or the true manhood lifted into God, whose + marriage is the type of the eternal union of God and the + soul, of Christ and the Church, and whose fatherhood claims + kinship with the Father of lights. It is impossible for + women who are agitating for the enfranchisement of their sex + to accept as a necessary class in the midst of a + democratical society a class of citizens who, in Dr. + Welldon's<a name="FNanchor_42_42" + id="FNanchor_42_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_42_42" + class="fnanchor">[42]</a> words, addressed to the University + of Cambridge, "have lost once for all time the rights of + citizenship—who are nobody's wives, nobody's sisters, + nobody's friends, who live a living death in the world of + men. There are one hundred and fifty thousand such + citizens,—perhaps far more, in England and + Wales—<i>and all are women</i>."</p> + + <p>These old positions are simply impossible, each a moral + <i>reductio ad absurdam</i>. We must institute a new and higher + order. To do so we women must unite in a great silent movement, + a temple slowly rising up beneath our hands without sound of + axe or hammer. It will not make itself heard on platforms; its + cry will not be heard in our streets. It will go on beneath the + surface of our life, probably unheeded and unnoticed of + <a name="Page_231" + id="Page_231"></a>men. Women must educate women; those who + know must teach those who are in ignorance. Let mothers who + have been roused to the greatness of the issues at stake + take as their field of labor the young mothers whom they may + know—possibly their own married daughters or nieces, + possibly those who are only bound to them by ties of + friendship. Use this book, if you will. If there are things + in it which you don't approve of—and oh, how much of + the divine patience of our Lord do we need with one another + in dealing with this difficult question—cut out those + pages, erase that passage, but do not deny those young + mothers the necessary knowledge to guard the nursery or save + their boys at school. And then try and follow it up by + quietly talking over the difficulties and the best method of + encountering them. Let us deny ourselves in order to give to + associations or institutions for the elevation of women, as + well as to that excellent society for men, the White Cross, + which is spreading its purifying work through both + countries.<a name="FNanchor_43_43" + id="FNanchor_43_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_43_43" + class="fnanchor">[43]</a> Let us do what we can to help in + <a name="Page_232" + id="Page_232"></a>organizing women's labor, so that a living + wage may be secured and no woman be driven by starvation + into selling herself for a morsel of bread. Let us endeavor + to secure the franchise that we may have the power of + legislating for the protection of women on the one point on + which we stand in sharp opposition to all but good men; + especially such measures as raising the age of consent, so + deplorably low in some of your States, that your children + are almost without legal protection; resisting State + regulation of vice in the army; cleansing the streets by an + Act pressing equally on men and women, and many others which + will suggest themselves to you. But let us, at the same + time, clearly recognize that the remedy must lie deeper than + any external agency—must be as deep as life itself, + and must be worked out in the silence of our own hearts and + of our own homes. We must restore the law of God, quietly + but firmly insisting on the equal moral standard for men and + women alike; and we must maintain the sanctity and + permanence of the marriage bond as ordained by Christ + himself.</p> + + <p>I say again I do not think, I simply <i>know</i>, by my own + experience, that men will rise to any standard which women + choose to set them. Ruskin's noble words are the simple + truth:</p> + + <p><a name="Page_233" + id="Page_233"></a></p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"Their whole course and character are in your hands; + what you would have them be they shall be, if you not only + desire to have them so, but deserve to have them so, for + they are but mirrors in which you will see yourselves + imaged.... You fancy, perhaps, as you have been told so + often, that a wife's rule should only be over her husband's + house, not over his mind. Ah no! the true rule is just the + reverse of that: a true wife, in her husband's house, is + his servant; it is in his heart that she is queen. Whatever + of best he can conceive, it is her part to be; whatever of + highest he can hope, it is hers to promise. All that is + dark in him she must purge into purity; all that is failing + in him she must strengthen into truth; from her, through + all the world's clamor, he must win his praise; in her, + through all the world's warfare, he must find his + peace."</p> + </div> + + <p>Last, but not least, we must set ourselves to make our lives + simpler and plainer, and oppose the ever-increasing luxury and + love of pleasure, with its sure and certain result, a relaxed + moral fibre, which, to a race called to such high destinies and + difficult tasks as our Anglo-Saxon race, is simply fatal. It + can, and it must be done. As Philip Hammerton remarks:</p> + + <div class="blockquot"> + <p>"It is entirely within the power of public opinion to + relieve the world from the weariness of this burthen of + expensive living; it has actually been done to a great + extent with regard to the costliness of funerals, a matter + in which public opinion has always been very authoritative. + If it will now permit a man to be buried simply when he is + dead, why cannot it allow him to exist simply whilst he is + living?"</p> + </div> + + <p>To lessen the expense of dress, which has risen twenty per + cent, within the last thirty years; to restore amusements to + their proper place, as recreation after hard work for the good + of others; to resist the ever-<a name="Page_234" + id="Page_234"></a>increasing restlessness of our day, + leading to such constant absences from home as seriously to + threaten all steady work for the amelioration of the + stay-at-home classes, and use up the funds which are needed + for that work; to keep a simple table, so that the future + Sir Andrew Clark may no longer have to say that more than + half of our diseases come from over-eating; to resist the + vulgar tendency to compete with our richer or more + fashionable neighbors in their style of living—surely + these sacrifices are not beyond us, to attain a great end, + both for ourselves and our empire. If indeed we think we can + meet this evil without making sacrifices amounting to a + silent revolution in our life; if we think, as I have + sometimes thought some women do think, that we can quench + this pit of perdition in our midst by, as it were, emptying + our scent-bottles upon it,—shedding a few empty tears, + heaving a few sentimental sighs: "It is very sad! of course + I can't do anything, but I am sure I wish all success to + your noble work"—possibly even giving a very little + money, say a guinea a year, to a penitentiary—all I + can say is, <i>God is not mocked</i>. I know but one thing + in heaven or earth that will quench it, and that is + life-blood. Sometimes I have asked in anguish of spirit: + "Will women give it?" I believe they will. But, whether we + give it or not, what Matthew Arnold called "the noblest of + religious utterances" holds good here: "Without shedding of + blood there is no remission of this sin."</p> + + <p><a name="Page_235" + id="Page_235"></a>And it is because I know that mothers will + spend their heart's blood in saving their sons, and because + I believe that women, with their new-born position and + dignity, will not go on accepting as a matter of course that + their womanhood should be fashioned like the Egyptian + sphinx, half pure woman, crowned with intellectual and moral + beauty, dowered with the homage of men; and half unclean + beast of prey, seeking whom it may slay, outcast and + abandoned and forced to snare or starve—it is because + of this, my rooted faith in women, that I have hope.</p> + + <p>As long ago as 1880 Professor Max Müller, ever anxious for + the interests of his Indian fellow-subjects, when Mr. Malabari + came to ask him how he could rouse English public opinion with + regard to the injuries inflicted on young girls by Hindu + child-marriages, answered him at once, "Write a short pamphlet + and send it to the women of England. They begin to be a power, + and they have one splendid quality, they are never + beaten."<a name="FNanchor_44_44" + id="FNanchor_44_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_44_44" + class="fnanchor">[44]</a> And if this can be said of English + women, still more may it be said of the women of + America.</p> + + <p>But, further, to strengthen us in this splendid quality, + have we sufficiently recognized the new moral forces that are + coming into the world? Have our eyes been opened to see "the + horses and chariots of fire" which <a name="Page_236" + id="Page_236"></a>are silently taking up their position + around us, to guard us and fight for us, that we may not be + beaten; the deepened sense of moral obligation, the added + power of conscience, the altogether new altruistic sense + which makes the misery and degradation of others cling to us + like a garment we cannot shake off, a sense of others' woes + for which we have had to invent a new word? Lord + Shaftesbury's legislation does not date so very far back; + and yet when his Bill for delivering women and children from + working in our mines was hanging in the balance, and the + loss of a single vote might wreck it—women, be it + remembered, who were working naked to the waist in the + coal-mines, and little children of eight or nine who were + carrying half a sack of coals twelve times a day the height + of St. Paul's Cathedral—the Archbishop of Canterbury + and the Bishop of London left the House of Lords without + voting, as the subject did not interest them; while in the + lower House Bright and Gladstone both voted against the + Bill, Gladstone being the only member who, when the Bill was + passed by a bare majority, endeavored to delay its coming + into operation! I ask, Would such a state of things be + possible in these days? Am I not right in saying that new + moral forces and sensibilities have been born within us + which make such a state of things not only impossible, but + simply incomprehensible?</p> + + <p>Why then should we despair? What! Has God <a name="Page_237" + id="Page_237"></a>built up His everlasting marble of broken + shells, and will He not build up his temple of the future + out of these broken efforts of ours? Has He made His pure + and splendid diamond out of mere soot, and shall we refuse + to see in the blackest and foulest moral problem the + possibilities of the diamond, of a higher life worked out in + the process of its solution, reflecting His light and His + love? Has He made His precious sapphire of the mere mud that + we tread under our feet, and, when we insist on our little + sisters' being no longer trodden like mud "under foot of + vicious men," may they not in the course of their redemption + bring an added hue of heaven to our life, an added purity to + home and family, and behold, instead of the old mud, a + sapphire throne, and above it the likeness as of a divine + man?<a name="FNanchor_45_45" + id="FNanchor_45_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_45_45" + class="fnanchor">[45]</a></p> + + <p>But to those who still hang back with a feeling of almost + angry repulsion from the whole subject which makes them refuse + even to face the perils and temptations of their own boys, I + would address no hard words, remembering but too well the + terrible struggle it cost me to make this my life work. Only I + would remind them of that greatest act in all history, by which + the world was redeemed. The Cross to us is so associated with + the adoration of the ages, so glorified by art, and music, and + lofty thought, that we have ceased to realize what it was in + actual fact such as no painter has ever <a name="Page_238" + id="Page_238"></a>dared to portray it; the Cross, not + elevated as in sacred pictures, but huddled up with the + jeering crowd; the Cross with its ribald blasphemies, its + shameful nakedness, its coarse mockeries, its brutal + long-drawn torture. Do you think it cost the women of that + day nothing to bear all this on their tender hearts? Yet + what was it that made men draw nearer and nearer, till the + women who at first "stood afar off, beholding these things," + we are told, at last "stood by the cross of Jesus"; and, + when all men forsook Him and fled, placed themselves heart + to heart with the Divine Love bearing the sins of the world + and casting them into the abysmal depths of its own being, + deeper even than the depths of man's sin? What was it but + their faithfulness to the Highest that they had known which + made them endure the Cross, despising the shame?</p> + + <p>And now, when at the end of the ages He once again calls us + women to stand heart to heart with Him in a great redemptive + purpose, shall we hang back? Shall we not rather obey the + Divine call, enduring the Cross, despising the shame, and, like + those women of old, winning for ourselves, by faithfulness unto + death, the joy of being made the messengers of a higher and + risen life to the world?</p> + + <p>God grant that the power of the Holy Ghost may overshadow us + and enable us to make answer with her whom all generations have + called blessed: "Behold the hand-maiden of the Lord!"</p> + + <div class="footnotes"> + <h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + + <p><a name="Page_239" + id="Page_239"></a></p> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_42_42" + id="Footnote_42_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_42_42"><span class="label"> + [42]</span></a> Late Head-Master of Harrow; now + Metropolitan of India.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_43_43" + id="Footnote_43_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_43_43"><span class="label"> + [43]</span></a> I would especially commend this modern + order of knighthood to the prayers and support of + women. It is bravely fighting our battle for us and + doing the public work among men. As it attacks what is + especially the sin of the moneyed classes, it is + unpopular, men resenting its interference with what + they call their private life, and it is always in peril + for want of funds. The White Cross league admits women + associates for intercessory prayer—and what + mother will not be thankful for that?—for any + work where women's aid is needed, and for raising funds + for what is so emphatically our own cause. I would + earnestly suggest to women who have incomes of their + own that they should leave the White Cross a small + legacy, so as to place it on a firmer basis. I hope + myself to leave the English branch Ł2000.</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_44_44" + id="Footnote_44_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_44_44"><span class="label"> + [44]</span></a> From an article in the <i>Nineteenth + Century</i> on "Meddling with Hindu Marriages."</p> + </div> + + <div class="footnote"> + <p><a name="Footnote_45_45" + id="Footnote_45_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_45_45"><span class="label"> + [45]</span></a> Ezek. i., 26.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + <h2><a name="APPENDIX" + id="APPENDIX"></a>APPENDIX</h2> + + <p>In Mr. Edward Thring's address to the Church Congress at + Carlisle in 1841, he said:</p> + + <p>"Curiosity, ignorance, and lies form a very hot-bed of + impurity. We pay heavily for our civilized habits in false + shame and the mystery in which sex is wrapped.</p> + + <p>"I confess that for curiosity I have no remedy to propose. + Ignorance and lies are on a different footing. I suppose + everyone is acquainted with some of the current lies about the + impossibility of being pure. The only answer to this is a flat + denial from experience. I know it is possible, and, when once + attained, easy. The means, under God, in my own case, was a + letter from my father. A quiet, simple statement of the + sinfulness of the sin and a few of the plain texts from St. + Paul saved me. A film fell from my eyes at my father's letter. + My first statement is that all fathers ought to write such a + letter to their sons. It is not difficult if done in a + common-sense way. Following out this plan at Uppingham in the + morning Bible lessons, I have always spoken as occasion arose + with perfect plainness on lust and its devil-worship, + particularly noting its deadly effect on human life and its + early and dishonored graves. Ignorance is deadly, because + perfect ignorance in a boy is impossible. I consider the + half-ignorance so deadly that once a year, at the time of + confirmation, I speak openly to the whole school, divided into + three different sets. First I take the confirmees, then the + communicants and older boys, then the younger boys, on three + following nights after evening prayers. The first two sets I + speak very plainly to, the last only warn against all indecency + in thought, word, or deed, whether alone or with companions. + Thus no boy who has been at school a whole year can sin in + ignorance, and a boy who despises this warning is justly turned + out of the school on conviction."</p> + + <p><a name="Page_240" + id="Page_240"></a></p> + + <p>Finally, he dwelt upon the necessity of school life having + joined to it a home life. The purifying influence of a good + woman and a fuller recognition of woman's work and place in the + world he looked upon as that which promised most for lifting + mankind into a higher atmosphere of pure life.</p> + + <p> </p> + + <h4>THE END.</h4> + <hr /> + + <h3>White Cross Series of Tracts.</h3> + + <p><b>White Cross Manual.</b> Containing an Account of the + Origin and Progress of the Movement, A Statement of its Objects + and Methods, Plan of Organization, Suggestions on the Conduct + of the Work, Devotional Offices, etc. Paper, 64 pages ... + $0.05</p> + + <p>1. AN ADDRESS TO THE MEMBERS OF THE WHITE CROSS ARMY.<br /> + By the Right Rev. the BISHOP OF DURHAM.</p> + + <p>2. THE WHITE CROSS ARMY. A Statement of the Bishop of + Durham's Movement. BY ELLICE HOPKINS.</p> + + <p>3. PER ANGUSTA AD AUGUSTA. BY J.E.H.</p> + + <p>7. THE RIDE OF DEATH. By ELLICE HOPKINS.</p> + + <p>8. THE BLACK ANCHOR. By ELLICE HOPKINS.</p> + + <p>9. THE AMERICAN ZULU. By ELLICE HOPKINS.</p> + + <p><b>Price, 3 cents each. $2.00 a hundred, direct from the + Publishers.</b></p> + + <p> </p> + + <h3>Shorter papers.</h3> + + <h5>$1.00 a hundred.</h5> + + <p>LOST IN QUICKSAND. By J.E.H.<br /> + IS IT NATURAL? By J.E.H.<br /> + MORAL MONEY CLIPPERS. By J.E.H.<br /> + WHO HOLDS THE ROPE? By J.E.H.<br /> + ROLLING AWAY THE STONE. By ELLICE HOPKINS.<br /> + TOUCHING PITCH, By ELLICE HOPKINS.<br /> + THE DEFACED IMAGE RESTORED. By ELLICE HOPKINS.<br /> + POWER TO LET. By ELLICE HOPKINS.</p> + <hr /> + + <p class="center">E.P. DUTTON & CO., PUBLISHERS.</p> + + <p class="center">31 West 23d Street, New York.</p> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and +Sons, by Ellice Hopkins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + +***** This file should be named 16047-h.htm or 16047-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/4/16047/ + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and Sons + A Book For Parents, And Those In Loco Parentis + +Author: Ellice Hopkins + +Release Date: June 13, 2005 [EBook #16047] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + + + + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +THE +POWER OF WOMANHOOD +OR +MOTHERS AND SONS + +A BOOK FOR PARENTS, AND THOSE IN +LOCO PARENTIS + +BY ELLICE HOPKINS + +AUTHOR OF "LIFE AND LETTERS OF JAMES HINTON," +"WARS AMONG WORKINGMEN," ETC. + + + Sow an act, and you reap a habit: + Sow a habit, and you reap a character: + Sow a character, and you reap a destiny. + + +NEW YORK +E.P. DUTTON & COMPANY +31 West Twenty-Third Street +1901 Copyright, 1899 + + +Copyright, 1899 +By +E.P. DUTTON & CO. + + +The Knickerbocker Press, New York + + + + +PREFACE + + +This little book has been written under great physical disabilities, +chiefly while wandering about in search of health, and consequently far +from the libraries which would have enabled me to give proper references +to all my quotations. Often for a whole year I have been unable to touch +it; but again and again I have returned to my task, feeling it worth any +risk to mind or body if only in the end its words might prove of some +service to the educated mothers of England and America. + +Under these circumstances, I know I may plead for indulgence as to any +defects its pages may present. + +But now that, after six years, I have realized the pretty Eastern +proverb, "By patience and perseverance, and a bottle of sweet-oil, the +snail at length reaches Jerusalem,"--now that by God's unfailing help I +have finished my difficult task, I can but commit the book into the +hands of the women who have implanted in me, next to my faith in God, +faith in the "Power of Womanhood," and whose faithful adherence and +co-operation remain the deepest and most grateful memory of my life. +Most of the ordinary means of circulation are closed to a book of this +nature. The doors of circulating libraries are for the most part shut; +notices in papers for the general public are necessarily few; nor can I +any longer hope, as I once did, to visit America, and give it a wide +circulation by my own efforts. I can but stretch out my hands to my many +dear unknown friends in America,--hands which have grown too weak to +hold the sword or lift the banner in a cause for which I have laid down +my all,--and ask any mother who may find help or strength in this book +to help me in return by placing it in the hands of other mothers of boys +she may know, especially,--I would plead,--young mothers. Do not say +they are too young to know. If they are not too young to be the mothers +of boys, they are not too young to know how to fulfil the responsibility +inherent in such motherhood. They at least can begin at the beginning, +and not have occasion to say, as so many mothers have said to me, with +tears in their eyes, "Oh, if I could only have heard you years ago, what +a difference it would have made to me! But now it is too late." + +Enable me thus, by your aid, to do some helpful work for that great +country which I have ever loved as my own; and which with England is +appointed in the Providence of God to lead in the great moral causes of +the world. + +If, indeed, each mother whom, either by word or deed, I may have helped +would do me this service of love now that I am laid aside, not yielding +to the first adverse criticism, which is so often only a cry of pain or +prejudice, but patiently working on at enlightening and strengthening +the hands of other mothers in her own rank of life, what vital work +would be done:--work so precious in its very nature, so far-reaching in +its consequences, that all the travail and anguish I have endured, all +the brokenness of body and soul I have incurred, would not so much as +come into mind for joy that a truer manhood is being born into the +world, even the manhood of Him who-- + + "Came on earth that He might show mankind + What 'tis to be a MAN: to give, not take; + To serve, not rule; to nourish, not devour; + To help, not crush; if needs, to die, not live." + +2 BELLE VUE GARDENS, +WALPOLE ROAD, BRIGHTON, + _Nov. 1, 1899_. + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER PAGE + +I.--INTRODUCTORY 1 + +II.--"WHY SHOULD I INTERFERE?" 13 + +III.--FIRST PRINCIPLES 26 + +IV.--THE SECRET AND METHOD 38 + +V.--EARLY BOYHOOD 56 + +VI.--BOYHOOD AND SCHOOL LIFE 69 + +VII.--EARLY MANHOOD 131 + +VIII.--THE INFLUENCE OF SISTERS 157 + +IX.--THE MODERN WOMAN AND HER FUTURE 170 + +X.--NATIONAL AND IMPERIAL ASPECTS 191 + +XI.--THE DYNAMIC ASPECT OF EVIL 206 + + CONCLUSION 221 + + APPENDIX 231 + + + + + "No advice, no exposure, will be of use until the right relation + exists between the father and mother and their son. To deserve his + confidence, to keep it as the chief treasure committed to them by + God;--to be, the father his strength, the mother his + sanctification, and both his chosen refuge, through all weakness, + evil, danger, and amazement of his young life." + + Rushkin. + + + + +THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD + + +CHAPTER I + +INTRODUCTORY + + +In a banquet given in honor of Heinrik Ibsen by a Norwegian society +known as the Woman's League, in response to a speech thanking him in the +name of the society for all he had done for the cause of women, the +poet, while disclaiming the honor of having consciously worked for the +woman's cause--indeed, not even being quite clear as to what the woman's +cause really was, since in his eyes it was indistinguishable from the +cause of humanity--concluded his speech with the words: + + "It has always seemed to me that the great problem is to elevate + the nation and place it on a higher level. Two factors, the man and + the woman, must co-operate for this end, and it lies especially + with the mothers of the people, by slow and strenuous work, to + arouse in it a conscious sense of culture and discipline. To the + woman, then, we must look for the solution of the problem of + humanity. It must come from them as mothers: that is the mission + that lies before them." + +Whether we are admirers of the great Norwegian poet or not, whether we +are afflicted with Ibsenism, or regard his peculiar genius in a more +critical and dispassionate light, no one would deny to him that deep +intuitive insight which belongs to a poet, and which borders so closely +on the prophet's gift. + +It is now some years since I have been laid aside, owing to the terrible +strain and burthen of my ten years' conflict with the evils that are +threatening the sanctity of the family, the purity of the home, and all +that constitutes the higher life of the nation. But in those ten years +the one truth that was burnt into my very soul was the truth enunciated +by Ibsen, that it is to the woman that we must look for the solution of +the deepest moral problems of humanity, and that the key of those +problems lies in the hands of the mothers of our race. They, and they +alone, can unlock the door to a purer and a stronger life. This, in +Ibsen's words, "is the mission that lies before them." And it is this +strong conviction which makes me feel that, even with broken powers and +shattered health, I cannot rest from my labors without, at any cost to +myself, placing the knowledge and experience gained in those years of +toil and sorrow at the disposal of the educated women of the +English-speaking world who, either as mothers or in other capacities, +have the care and training of the young. + +No one recognizes more thankfully than I do the progress that the +woman's movement has made during what have been to me years of inaction +and suffering. The ever-increasing activity in all agencies for the +elevation of women; the multiplication of preventive institutions and +rescue societies; above all, that new sense of a common womanhood, that +_esprit de corps_ in which hitherto we have been so grievously lacking, +and which is now beginning to bind all our efforts together into one +great whole--these I thankfully recognize. We no longer each of us set +up in separate and somewhat antagonistic individuality our own little +private burrow of good works, with one way in and one way out, and +nothing else needed for the wants of the universe. We realize now that +no one agency can even partially cover the ground, and conferences are +now held of all who are working for the good of women and children, to +enable the separate agencies to work more effectually into one another's +hands and unite more fervently in heart and soul in a common cause. +Beneath all this, apart from any external organization whatever, there +is a silent work going on in the hearts of thoughtful and educated +mothers, which never comes before the public at all, but is silently +spreading and deepening under the surface of our life. + +But when all this is thankfully recognized and acknowledged, I still +cannot help questioning whether the mass of educated women have at all +grasped the depth and complexity of the problem with which we have to +grapple if we are to fufil our trust as the guardians of the home and +family, and those hidden wells of the national life from which spring up +all that is best and highest in the national character. Nay, I sometimes +fear lest even our increased activity in practical work may not have the +effect of calling off our attention from those deep underlying causes +which must be dealt with if we are not to engage in the hopeless task of +trying to fill a cistern the tap of which has been left running. This +absorption in the effect and inattention to the cause is to a certain +degree bred in us by the very nature of the duties that devolve upon us +as women. John Stuart Mill has compared the life of a woman to an +"interrupted sentence." The mere fact that our lives are so interrupted +by incessant home calls, and that we are necessarily so concerned in the +details of life, is apt to make us wanting in grasp of underlying +principles. Perhaps it is the fact of my having been associated all the +early years of my life with eminent scientific men that has formed in me +a habit of mind always to regard effects in relation to causes, so that +merely to cure evil results without striking at the evil cause seems to +me, to use a Johnsonian simile, "like stopping up a hole or two of a +sieve with the hope of making it hold water." + +It is, therefore, on these deeper aspects that more especially bear upon +the lives and training of our own sons that I want to write, placing +before you some facts which you must know if you are to be their +guardians, and venturing to make some suggestions which, as the result +of much collective wisdom and prayer, I think may prove helpful to you +in that which lies nearest your heart. Only, if some of the facts are +such as may prove both painful and disagreeable to you, do not therefore +reject them in your ignorance as false. Do not follow the advice of a +politician to a friend whom he was urging to speak on some public +question. "But how can I?" his friend replied; "I know nothing of the +subject, and should therefore have nothing to say." "Oh, you can always +get up and deny the facts," was the sardonic reply. + +Let me first of all give you my credentials, all the more necessary as +my long illness has doubtless made me unknown by name to many of the +younger generation, who may therefore question my right to impart facts +or make any suggestions at all. Suffer me, therefore, to recount to you +how I have gained my knowledge and what are the sources of my +information. + +In the first place, I was trained for the work by a medical man--my +friend Mr. James Hinton--first in his own branch of the London +profession, and a most original thinker. To him the degradation of +women, which most men accept with such blank indifference, was a source +of unspeakable distress. He used to wander about the Haymarket and +Piccadilly in London at night, and break his heart over the sights he +saw and the tales he heard. The words of the Prophet ground themselves +into his very soul, with regard to the miserable wanderers of our +streets: "This is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them +snared in holes and hid in prison-houses; they are for a prey, and none +delivereth; for a spoil, and none saith, Restore." + +The very first time he came down to me at Brighton, to see if I could +give him any help, speaking of all he had seen and heard, his voice +suddenly broke, and he bowed his face upon my hands and wept like a +child. That one man could suffer as he did over the degradation of this +womanhood of ours has always been to me the most hopeful thing I know--a +divine earnest of ultimate overcoming. The only thing that seemed in a +measure to assuage his anguish was my promise to devote myself to the +one work of fighting it and endeavoring to awake the conscience of the +nation to some sense of guilt with regard to it. In order to fit me for +this work he considered that I ought to know all that he as a medical +man knew. He emphatically did not spare me, and often the knowledge that +he imparted to me was drowned in a storm of tears. We were to have +worked together, but his mind, already unhinged by suffering, ultimately +gave way, and, with all that this world could give him--health, fame, +wealth, family affection, devoted friends--he died prematurely of a +broken heart. + +For ten years, therefore, after my friend's death I gave up everything +for the purpose of carrying on the work he left me, and beat wearily up +and down the three kingdoms, holding meetings, organizing practical +work, agitating for the greater legal protection of the young, +afterwards embodied in two Acts--one for removing children from dens of +infamy and one known as the Criminal Law Amendment Act, which have done +much to educate the public sentiment of the country; but always making +it my chief object to rouse educated women to face the facts about their +own womanhood, and, above all, to rouse mothers to realize the perils of +their own boys and to be determined to know enough to enable them to act +as their guardians. + +During those ten years of warfare, passing as I did from family to +family, and always concerned with questions that touch upon the +innermost shrine of our life, I necessarily became the recipient of many +hidden sorrows. In fact, my fellow-creatures used me as a bottomless +well into which they could empty their household skeletons; and I used +often to reflect with sardonic satisfaction that I should never run dry +like other old wells, but that death would come and fill me up with a +good wholesome shovelful of earth, and I and my skeletons would lie +quiet together. But in this way I gained a knowledge of what is going on +under the surface of our life, whether we choose to ignore it or not, +which possibly can only come to those who are set apart to be +confessors of their kind; and the conclusion was forced upon me that +this evil, in one form or another, is more or less everywhere--in our +nurseries, in our public, and still more our private, schools, +decorously seated on magisterial benches, fouling our places of +business, and even sanctimoniously seated in our places of worship. + +After the first two years of work among women I found that it was +absolutely hopeless attacking the evil from one side only, and I had to +nerve myself as best I could to address large mass meetings of men, +always taking care clearly to define my position--that I had not come +upon that platform to help them, but to ask them to help me in a battle +that I had found too hard for me, and that I stood before them as a +woman pleading for women. The first of these meetings I addressed at the +instance of the late revered Bishop of Durham, Dr. Lightfoot, who took +the chair, and inaugurated the White Cross Movement, which has since +spread over the civilized world. And throughout this most difficult side +of my work I had his priceless co-operation and approval; besides the +wise counsel, guidance, and unfailing sympathy of one whom but to name +is to awake the deepest springs of reverence, Dr. Wilkinson, then the +incumbent of St. Peter's, Eaton Square, afterwards Bishop of Truro, and +now Bishop of St. Andrews. But so great was the effort that it cost me, +that I do not think I could have done this part of my work but for my +two favorite mottoes--the one, that "I can't" is a lie in the lips that +repeat, "I believe in the Holy Ghost"; the other, received from the lips +of Bishop Selwyn, that "If as soldiers of the Cross we stick at +anything, we are disgraced forever." + +But lastly, and perhaps best of all, as giving weight to any suggestions +that I may make, across the dismal mud swamp that I often trod with such +an aching heart and faltering steps came to meet me God's best and +highest, with outstretched hands of help and encouragement. It was the +highly-cultivated and thoughtful women who, amidst the storm of obloquy +that beat upon me from every quarter, first ranged themselves by my +side, perceiving that the best way to avoid a danger is not to refuse to +see it. Some were women already in the field in connection with Mrs. +Butler's movement, to which our nation owes so much, some were roused by +my words. + +In all our large towns where I formed Associations for the Care of +Friendless Girls I was in the habit of reporting my work to the clergy +of my own church, whose sympathy and cooperation I shall ever gratefully +acknowledge. Ultimately, the leading laity, as well as some +Nonconformist ministers, joined with us; often these conferences were +diocesan meetings--to which, however, Nonconformists were invited--with +the Bishop of the diocese in the chair; and after my address free +discussion took place, so that I had the advantage of hearing the +opinions and judgments of many of our leading men in regard to this +difficult problem, and getting at men's views of the question. + +The matter that I lay before you, therefore, has been thoroughly and +repeatedly threshed out at such conferences, as well as in long, +earnest, private talks with the wisest and most experienced mothers and +teachers of our day; and it is in their name, far more than in my own, +that I ask you to ponder what I say. + +Do not, however, be under any fear that I intend in these pages to make +myself the medium of all sorts of horrors. I intend to do no such thing. +It is but very little evil that you will need to know, and that not in +detail, in order to guard your own boys. We women, thank God, have to do +with the fountain of sweet waters, clear as crystal, that flow from the +throne of God; not with the sewer that flows from the foul imaginations +and actions of men. Our part is the inculcation of positive purity, not +the part of negative warning against vice. Nor need you fear that the +evil you must know, in order to fulfil your most sacred trust, will +sully you. This I say emphatically, that the evil which we have grappled +with to save one of our own dear ones does not sully. It is the evil +that we read about in novels and newspapers, for our own amusement; it +is the evil that we weakly give way to in our lives; above all, it is +the destroying evil that we have refused so much as to know of in our +absorbing care for our own alabaster skin--it is _that_ evil which +defiles the woman. But the evil that we have grappled with in a life and +death struggle to save a soul for whom Christ died does not sully: it +clothes from head to foot with the white robe, it crowns with the golden +crown. Though I have had to know what, thank God! no other woman may +ever again be called upon to know, I can yet speak of the great conflict +that involved this knowledge as being the one great purifying, +sanctifying influence of my life. But even if, as men would often +persuade us, the knowledge of the world's evil would sully us, I know I +utter the heart of every woman when I say that we choose the hand that +is sullied in saving our own dear ones from the deep mire that might +otherwise have swallowed them up, rather than the hand that has kept +itself white and pure because it has never been stretched out to save. +That hand may be white, but in God's sight it is white with the +whiteness of leprosy. Believe, rather, the words of James Hinton, +written to a woman friend: "You women have been living in a dreamland of +your own; but dare to live in this poor disordered world of God's, and +it will work out in you a better goodness than your own,"--even that +purified womanhood, strong to know, and strong to save, before whose +gracious loveliness the strongest man grows weak as a child, and, as a +little child, grows pure. + +God grant that, in view of the tremendous responsibilities that devolve +upon us women in these latter days, we may cry from our hearts: + + "Let not fine culture, poesy, art, sweet tones, + Build up about my soothed sense a world + That is not Thine, and wall me up in dreams. + So my sad heart may cease to beat with Thine, + The great World-Heart, whose blood, forever shed, + Is human life, whose ache is man's dull pain." + + + + +CHAPTER II + +"WHY SHOULD I INTERFERE?" + + +I am, of course, aware that at the very outset I shall be met by the +question--far less frequently urged, however, by thoughtful mothers than +it used to be--"Why need I interfere at all in a subject like this? Why +may I not leave it all to the boy's father? Why should it be my duty to +face a question which is very distasteful to me, and which I feel I had +much better let alone?" + +I would answer at once, Because the evil is so rife, the dangers so +great and manifold, the temptations so strong and subtle, that your +influence must be united to that of the boy's father if you want to +safeguard him. Every influence you can lay hold of is needed here, and +will not prove more than enough. The influence of one parent alone is +not sufficient, more especially as there are potent lines of influence +open to you as a woman from which a man, from the very fact that he is a +man, is necessarily debarred. + +You must bring the whole of that influence to bear for the following +considerations. + +Let me take the lowest and simplest first. Even if you be indifferent +to your boy's moral welfare, you cannot be indifferent to his physical +well-being, nay, to his very existence. Here I necessarily cannot tell +you all I know; but I would ask you thoughtfully to study for yourself a +striking diagram which Dr. Carpenter, in one of our recognized medical +text-books, has reproduced from the well-known French statistician, +Quetelet, showing the comparative viability, or life value, of men and +women respectively at different ages. + +[Illustration: DIAGRAM REPRESENTING THE COMPARATIVE VIABILITY OF THE +MALE AND FEMALE AT DIFFERENT AGES.] + + +The female line, where it differs from the male, is the dotted line, the +greater or less probability or value of life being shown by the greater +or less distance of the line of life from the level line at the bottom. +Infant life being very fragile, the line steadily rises till it reaches +its highest point, between thirteen and fourteen. In both cases there +is then a rapid fall, the age of puberty being a critical age. But from +fifteen, when the female line begins to right itself, only showing by a +gentle curve downwards the added risks of the child-bearing period in a +woman's life, the male line, which ought, without these risks, to keep +above the female line, makes a sharp dip below it, till it reaches its +lowest point at twenty-five, the age when the excesses of youth have had +time to tell most on the system.[1] Here, at least, is evidence that +none can gainsay. The more you ponder that mysterious sharp dip in the +man's line of life at the very age which Nature intended should be the +prime and flower of life, the more deeply you will feel that some deep +and hidden danger lies concealed there, the more earnestly you will come +to the conclusion that you cannot and will not thrust from you the +responsibility that rests upon you as the boy's mother of helping to +guard him from it. Keep him from the knowledge of evil, and the +temptations that come with that knowledge, you cannot. The few first +days at school will insure that, to say nothing of the miserable streets +of our large towns. As Thackeray long ago said in a well-known passage, +much animadverted on at the time: + + "And by the way, ye tender mothers and sober fathers of Christian + families, a prodigious thing that theory of life is, as orally + learnt at a great public school. Why! if you could hear those boys + of fourteen who blush before their mothers, and sneak off in + silence in the presence of their daughters, talking among each + other, it would be the woman's turn to blush then. Before Pen was + twelve years old, and while his mother thought him an angel of + candour, little Pen had heard enough to make him quite awfully wise + upon certain points; and so, madam, has your pretty rosy-cheeked + son who is coming home from school for the ensuing Christmas + holidays. I don't say that the boy is lost, or that the innocence + has left him which he had 'from heaven, which is our home,' but + that the shades of the prison house are closing very fast round + him, and that we are helping as much as possible to corrupt + him."[2] + +But though you cannot keep him from the knowledge of evil, you can be a +potent factor in teaching him the hidden dangers that beset him, in +seeing that his young feet rest on the rock of true knowledge, and not +on the shifting quagmire of the devil's lies; but above all, in +inspiring him with a high ideal of conduct, which will make him shrink +from everything low and foul as he would from card-sharping or sneaking, +proving yourself thus to him as far as in you lies-- + + "A perfect woman, nobly planned, + To warn, to comfort, and command; + And yet a spirit still, and bright + With something of an angel light." + +The boy thus mothered is saved as a rule from all physical risk. + +And this in part anticipates my second point. You cannot let this +question alone if you are to aim at the highest for your boy. High +character is more to be accounted of than long life. And it is to you, +as a woman, that the guarding of the higher springs of his nature is +especially entrusted. My whole experience has gone to teach me, with +ever-increasing force, that the proposition that purity is vitally +necessary for the woman, but of comparatively small account for the man, +is absolutely false. Granted that, owing to social ostracism, the +outward degradation of impurity to the woman is far greater, I contend +that a deeper inner debasement is its sure fruition in the man. Cruelty +and lies are its certain accompaniment. As Burns, with a poet's insight, +has truly said: + + "But oh! it hardens a' within, + And petrifies the feeling." + +Yes, it is exactly that; "it hardens all within"--hardens and darkens. +It is as our Lord says: only "the pure in heart" are capable of divine +vision. Only the man who has kept himself pure, who has never sullied +his white faith in womanhood, never profaned the sacred mysteries of +life and love, never fouled his manhood in the stye of the beast--it is +only that man who can see God, who can see duty where another sees +useless sacrifice, who can see and grasp abiding principles in a world +of expediency and self-interest, and discern + + "In temporal policy the eternal Will," + +who can see God in the meanest of His redeemed creatures. It is only +the virginal heart that has kept itself pure, that grows not old, but +keeps its freshness, its innocent gaiety, its simple pleasures. The +eminent Swiss Professor, Aime Humbert, does but echo these words from +the sadder side, when, speaking of the moral malady which is the result +of impurity, he says: + + "It does not attack any single organ of the human frame, but it + withers all that is human--mind, body, and soul. It strikes our + youth at the unhappy moment when they first cross the thresholds of + vice. For them the spring has no more innocent freshness; their + very friendships are polluted by foul suggestions and memories; + they become strangers to all the honorable relations of a pure + young life; and thus we see stretching wider and wider around us + the circle of this mocking, faded, worn-out, sceptical youth, + without poetry and without love, without faith and without joy." + +Too soon and too earnestly we cannot teach our boys that the flaming +sword, turning all ways, which guards the tree of life for him, is +purity. + +But thirdly, there are wider issues than the welfare, physical and +moral, of our own boys which make it impossible for us to take up any +neutral attitude on this question. We cannot remain indifferent to that +which affects so deeply both the status and the happiness of women. We +cannot accept a standard for men which works out with the certainty of a +mathematical law a pariah class of women. We cannot leave on one side +the anguish of working-class mothers just because we belong to the +protected classes, and it is not our girls that are sacrificed. At +least, we women are ceasing to be as base as that, and God forgive us +that, from want of thought rather than from want of heart, educated +women could be found even to hold that the degradation of their own +womanhood is a necessity! + +Take but one instance out of the many that crossed my _via dolorosa_ of +the anguish inflicted on the mothers of the poor. I take it, not because +it is uncommon, but because it is typical. + +At one of my mass meetings of working women in the North I was told at +its close that a woman wished to speak with me in private. As soon as I +could disengage myself from the crowd of mothers who were always eager +to shake hands with me, and to bless me with tears in their eyes for +taking up their cause, I went down the room, and there, in a +dimly-lighted corner of the great hall, I found a respectable-looking +woman waiting for me. I sat down by her side, and she poured out the +pent-up sorrow of her heart before telling me the one great favor she +craved at my hands. She had an only daughter, who at the age of sixteen +she had placed out in service, at a carefully-chosen situation. We all +know what a difficult age in a girl's life is sixteen; but our girls we +can keep under our own watchful care, and their little wilfulnesses and +naughtinesses are got over within the four walls of a loving home, and +are only the thorns that precede the perfect rose of womanhood. But the +poor have to send their girls out into the great wicked world at this +age to be bread-winners, often far away from a mother's protecting care. +The girl, however, in this case was a good, steady girl, and for a time +did well. Then something unsettled her, and she left her first place, +and got another situation. For a time it seemed all right, when suddenly +her letters ceased. The mother wrote again and again, but got no answer. +She wrote to her former place; they knew nothing of her. At last she +saved up a little money and went to the town where she believed her girl +to be. She sought out and found her last address. The family had gone +away, and left no address. She made inquiries of the neighbors, of the +police. Yes, they remembered the girl--a nice-looking girl with a bright +color; but no one had seen her lately. It was as if a trap-door had +opened and let her through. She had simply disappeared. In all that +crowded city her mother could find no trace of her. "It is now thirteen +years, ma'am, since I lost her." + +But all through those thirteen years that poor mother had watched and +waited for her. All through those weary years, whenever she read in the +local paper of some poor girl's body being found in the river, some poor +suicide, who had leapt, + + "Mad from life's history, + Swift to death's mystery, + Anywhere, anywhere, out of the world," + +that poor mother would get into her head it might be her dear girl that +was lying there alone and unclaimed; and she would pay her fare--if she +could afford it--or if not, trudge the distance on foot, creep, +trembling, into the mortuary or the public-house where the body lay, +blue from drowning, or with the ugly red gash across the throat, take +one look, and then cry with a sigh of relief, "No, it ain't my child," +and return again to her watching and waiting. + +"Once, ma'am," she said, "I had a dream. I saw a beautiful place, all +bright and shiny, and there were lots of angels singing so sweet, when +out of the midst of the glory came my poor girl. She came straight to +me, and said, 'Oh, mother, don't fret; I'm safe and I'm happy!' and with +those words in my ears I awoke. That dream has been a great comfort to +me, ma'am; I feel sure God sent it to me. But oh, ma'am," she exclaimed, +with a new light of hope in her face, and clasping her hands in silent +entreaty, "the thought came into my head whilst you were a-speakin', if +you would be so kind as to ask at the end of every one of your meetin's, +'Has anyone heard or seen anything of a girl of the name of Sarah +Smith?' As you go all about the country, maybe I might get to hear of +her that way." + +Ah me! the pathetic forlornness of the suggestion, the last hope of a +broken-hearted mother, that I should go all over the three kingdoms +asking my large audiences, "Have you seen or heard anything of Sarah +Smith?" And I was dumb. I had not a word of comfort to give her. I had +heard the words too often from the lips of outcast girls in answer to my +question, "Does your mother know where you are?" "Oh, no; I couldn't +bear that mother should know about me!"--not to know what the fate of +that young girl had been. She had been trapped, or drugged, or enticed +into that dread under-world into which so many of our working-class +girls disappear and are lost. Possibly she had been sent out of the +country, and was in some foreign den. One's best hope was that she was +dead. + +But picture to yourselves the long-drawn anguish of that mother, with +nothing but a dream to comfort her amid the dread realities of life. +Picture her as only one of thousands and thousands of our working-class +mothers on whose poor dumb hearts the same nameless sorrow rests like a +gravestone; and I think no woman--no mother, at least--but will agree +with me, that this is a matter from which we, as women, cannot stand +off. Even if we had not the moral and physical welfare of our own boys +to consider, we are baptized into this cause by the tears of women, the +dumb tears of the poor. But there is one last consideration, exquisitely +painful as it is, which I cannot, I dare not, pass over, and which more +than any other has aroused the thoughtful women of England and America +to face the question and endeavor to grapple, however imperfectly as +yet, with the problem. For some strange reason the whole weight of this +evil in its last resort comes crushing down on the shoulders of a little +child--infant Christs of the cross without the crown, "martyrs of the +pang, without the palm." The sins of their parents are visited on them +from their birth, in scrofula, blindness, consumption. "Disease and +suffering," in Dickens's words, "preside over their birth, rock their +wretched cradles, nail down their little coffins, and fill their unknown +graves." More than one-half of the inmates of our Great Ormond Street +Hospital for Sick Children are sent there by vice. But would to God it +were only innocent suffering that is inflicted on the children of our +land. Alas! alas! when I first began my work, a ward in a large London +penitentiary, I found, was set apart for degraded children! Or take that +one brief appalling statement in the record of ten years of work--1884 +to 1894--issued by a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. +In the classification of the various victims it is stated that the +society had dealt with 4460 pitiable child victims of debauchery! Alas +for our England, and the debasement which a low moral standard for men +has made possible in our midst! And, judging by the absence of proper +legal protection and the extraordinarily low age of consent adopted by +some of the States of the Union, I fear things are not much better in +America. + +One of our sweetest poets, Charles Tennyson Turner, in an exquisite +sonnet on a three-year-old child being presented with a toy globe, has +portrayed the consecration of a child's innocence, bathing the world +itself in its baptismal dew: + + "She patted all the world; old empires peep'd + Between her baby fingers; her soft hand + Was welcome at all frontiers." + +And when at length they turn "her sweet unlearned eye" "on our own +isle," she utters a little joyous cry: + + "Oh yes, I see it! Letty's home is there! + And while she hid all England with a kiss, + Bright over Europe fell her golden hair." + +By the side of that exquisite picture of the beatitude of a child's +innocence place the picture of that long procession of desecrated +children, with no "sweet unlearned eye," but eyes learned in the worst +forms of human wickedness and cruelty; and let any woman say, if she can +or dare, that this is a subject on which she is not called to have any +voice and which she prefers to let alone. Surely our womanhood has not +become in these last days such a withered and wilted thing that our ears +have grown too nice for the cry of these hapless children! As women, we +are the natural guardians of the innocence of all children. The divine +motherhood that is at the heart of every woman worthy of the name "rises +up in wrath" within us and cries: "We _will_ fulfil our trust, not only +to our own children, but to the helpless children of the poor." The day +is at hand when every mother of boys will silently vow before God to +send at least one knight of God into the world to fight an evil before +which even a child's innocence is not sacred and which tramples under +its swine's feet the weak and the helpless. + +Indeed, when one reflects that this great moral problem touches all the +great trusts of our womanhood, the sanctity of the family, the purity of +the home, the sacredness of marriage, the sweet innocence of children, +it seems like some evil dream that women can ever have asked, "Why +cannot I leave this matter to men? Why should I interfere?" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 1: Dr. Carpenter does not hesitate to attribute this sharp dip +in the male line of life to the indulgence of the passions in youth, and +the subsequent rise to marriage and a more regular life.] + +[Footnote 2: _Pendennis_, vol. i., p. 16.] + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FIRST PRINCIPLES + + +"But what can we do?" will be the next question, uttered perhaps in the +forlorn accents of a latent despair. + +Before answering this question in detail, I would endeavor to impress +two cardinal points upon you. + +The first point I want you to recognize, though it may seem to minister +to the very hopelessness which most lames and cripples for effective +action, is the depth and magnitude of the problem we have to grapple +with. All other great social evils, with the possible exception of greed +or covetousness, which in Scripture is often classed with impurity, may +be looked upon as more or less diseases of the extremities. But the evil +which we are now considering is no disease of the extremities, but a +disease at the very heart of our life, attacking all the great bases on +which it rests. It is not only the negation of the sanctity of the +family and the destroyer of the purity of the home, as I have already +pointed out, but it is also the derider of the sacredness of the +individual, the slow but sure disintegrator of the body politic, the +dry-rot of nations, before which the mightiest empires have crumbled +into dust. The lagoons of Venice mirror it in the departed grandeur of +her palaces, overthrown by the licentiousness of her merchant princes. +The mute sands that silt up the ruins of old empires are eloquent of it. +The most brilliant civilization the world has even seen through it +became the most transitory. Even the vast and massive structure of the +Roman Empire, undermined by moral corruption, vanished before barbarian +hordes like the baseless fabric of a dream. To think that we can solve a +problem of this depth and magnitude by any mere external means--as so +many good and earnest women seem to imagine--by any multiplication of +Rescue Societies, Preventive Institutions, and other benevolent +organizations--is to think that we can plug up a volcano with sticks and +straws. The remedy, like the evil, must be from within, and must to a +great degree revolutionize our life. + +My second cardinal point is, that the first step we have to take, the +step which must precede all others, if anything is to be of the least +avail, must be to restore the moral law and get rid of the double +standard. I know well how much has been said and written on this point; +it has been insisted on possibly _ad nauseam_. But even now I do not +think we fully realize how completely we have been in the grasp of a +"tradition of the elders," which has emphatically "made the law of God +of none effect." Side by side with the ethics of Christianity have +grown up the bastard ethics of society, widely divergent from the true +moral order. Man has accepted the obligation of purity so far as it +subserves his own selfish interests and enables him to be sure of his +own paternity and safeguard the laws of inheritance. The precepts which +were primarily addressed to the man, as the very form of the Greek words +demonstrate, were tacitly transferred to the woman. When, in a standard +dictionary of the English language, I look out the word "virtue," which +etymologically means "manliness"--the manliness which would scorn to +gratify its own selfish passions at the cost of the young, the poor, and +the weak, at the cost of a _woman_--I find one of its meanings defined, +not as male but as "female chastity." Long ago I suggested that as +manliness thus goes by default, the word had better be changed from +virtue to "muliertue." + +In a passage in one of our standard school-books, Green's _Short History +of the English People_, the historian, alluding to the coarseness of the +early Elizabethan drama, remarks that "there were no female actors, and +the grossness which startles us in words which fall from a woman's lips +took a different color when every woman's part was acted by a boy."[3] +Why, in the name of all moral sense, should it be less dreadful that +gross and obscene passages should be uttered at a public spectacle by +young and unformed boys than by adult women, who at least would have +the safeguard of mature knowledge and instincts to teach them their full +loathsomeness? Do we really think that boys are born less pure than +girls? Does the mother, when her little son is born, keep the old +iron-moulded flannels, the faded basinette, the dirty feeding-bottle for +him with the passing comment, "Oh, it is only a boy!" Is anything too +white and fine and pure for his infant limbs, and yet are we to hold +that anything is good enough for his childish soul--even, according to +Mr. Green, the grossness of the early Elizabethan stage--because he is a +boy? But I ask how many readers of that delightful history would so much +as notice this passage, and not, on the contrary, quietly accept it +without inward note or comment, possessed as we are, often without +knowing it, by our monstrous double standard? + +If we want to see what is the final outcome of this moral code, of this +one-sided and distorted ethic, we have only to turn our eyes to France. +On the one hand we have "la jeune fille" in her white Communion robe, +kept so pure and ignorant of all evil, that "une societe +ecclesiastique," I am told, exists for the emendation of history for her +benefit--Divine Providence, as conducting the affairs of men, being far +too coarse for her pure gaze; and at the other end of the stick we find +Zola, and a literature intended only for the eyes of men, of whose +chastity, according to Renan, "Nature takes no account whatever,"--a +literature which fouls with its vile sewage the very wellsprings of our +nature, and which, whatever its artistic merit, I make bold to say is a +curse to the civilized world. + +Now, I earnestly protest that while we have this social code, which is +in direct violation of the moral law, we may set on foot any number of +Rescue Societies, Preventive Agencies, Acts for the Legal Protection of +the Young, etc., but all our efforts will be in vain. We are like a man +who should endeavor to construct a perfect system of dynamics on the +violation of Newton's first law of motion. The tacitly accepted +necessity for something short of the moral law for men will--again I say +it--work out with the certainty of a mathematical law a degraded and +outcast class, with its disease, its insanity, its foul contamination of +the young, its debasement of manhood, its disintegration of the State, +its curse to the community. You cannot dodge the moral law; as Professor +Clifford said, "There are no back-stairs to the universe" by which we +can elude the consequences of our wrong, whether of thought or action. +If you let in one evil premise by the back-door, be sure Sin and Death +will come out at the front. + +Here, then, you must take a firm and watchful stand. As the mothers of +the future generation of men, you must look upon it as your +divinely-appointed task to bring back the moral law in its entirety, +the one standard equally binding on men and women alike. Whatever your +creed, you have got to hold fast to this great truth, which life itself +forces upon you, and which is a truth of Christian ethics because first +of all it is a truth of life. It is simply a moral Q.E.D., that if +chastity is a law for women--and no man would deny that--it is a law for +every woman without exception; and if it is a law for every woman, it +follows necessarily that it must be for every man, unless we are going +to indulge in the moral turpitude of accepting a pariah class of women +made up of other women's daughters and other women's sisters--not our +own, God forbid that they should be our own!--set apart for the vices of +men. + +But perhaps, looking at our complicated civilization, which, at least in +the upper classes, involves, as a rule, the deferring of +marriage--looking at the strength of the passions which generations of +indulgence have evolved beyond their natural limits, some women will +feel constrained to ask, "Is this standard a possible one? Can men keep +their health and strength as celibates? Is not my husband right when he +says that this is a subject we women can know nothing about, and that +here we must bow to the judgment of men?" + +I answer that a mother must know by what standard she is to educate her +boy, and therefore must have the data supplied to her on which to form +her own judgment, and be fully persuaded in her own mind what she is to +aim at in the training she is to give him; and the mere fact that the +current judgment of men involves the sacrifice in body and soul of a +large class of our fellow-women lays a paramount obligation upon all +women to search for themselves into the truth and scientific accuracy of +the premises on which that judgment is based. + +"Can men keep their health and strength as celibates till such time as +they have the means to marry?" is the question we have, then, to face. +Is the standard of the moral law possible to men who have to maintain a +high level of physical efficiency in the sharp competition of modern +life? + +Primarily, the answer to this question must come from the acknowledged +heads of the medical profession. Now, I am thankful to say, we have in +England a consensus of opinion from the representative men of the +faculty that no one can gainsay. Sir James Paget, Acton in his great +text-book, Sir Andrew Clark, Sir George Humphrey, of Cambridge, +Professor Millar, of the Edinburgh University, Sir William Gowers, +F.R.S., have all answered the above question in the strongest +affirmative. "Chastity does no harm to body or mind; its discipline is +excellent; marriage may safely be waited for," are Sir James Paget's +terse and emphatic words[4]. Still more emphatic are the words of Sir +William Gowers, the great men's specialist, who counts as an authority +on the Continent as well as here: + + "The opinions which on grounds falsely called 'physiological' + suggest or permit unchastity are terribly prevalent among young + men, but they are absolutely false. With all the force of any + knowledge I possess, and any authority I have, I assert that this + belief is contrary to fact; I assert that no man ever yet was in + the slightest degree or way the worse for continence or better for + incontinence. From incontinence during unmarried life all are worse + morally; a clear majority, are, in the end, worse physically; and + in no small number the result is, and ever will be, utter physical + shipwreck on one of the many rocks, sharp, jagged-edged, which + beset the way, or on one of the banks of festering slime which no + care can possibly avoid. They are rocks which tear and rend the + unhappy being who is driven against them when he has yielded to the + tide of passion, they are banks which exhale a poison for which, no + true antidote exists." + +In face of such testimony as this, well might Mr. George Russell, in an +address to young men, speak of "this exploded lie which has hitherto led +so many astray." + +Turning now from knowledge to fact, we have only to look at the French +clergy to see that even in the extreme case of life-long celibacy it is +not injurious to health. I know, in taking this case, I am grating +somewhat harshly against Protestant prejudice. But the testimony that +Renan bears on this point is irrefutable. Himself a renegade priest, he +certainly would not have hesitated to expose the Order to which he had +once belonged, and vindicate his broken vows by the revelation of any +moral rottenness known within the walls of its seminaries. Far from +this, he bears the most emphatic testimony in his autobiography that +there is enough virtue in St. Sulpice alone to convert the world; and +owns so strong was the impress made on his own soul by his training as a +priest that personally he had lived a pure life, "although," he adds, +with an easy shrug of his shoulders, "it is very possible that the +libertine has the best of it!" Another renegade priest, also eminent in +literature, bears exactly the same testimony. Indeed, when we remember +the argus-eyed hatred with which the French priesthood is watched by the +anti-clerical party, and the few scandals that appear in the public +prints only too anxious to give publicity to them, this unimpeachable +testimony is borne out by fact. I believe this testimony to be equally +true of the English and Irish Roman Catholic clergy. Yet few would +dispute the vigor of the physique of the Roman Catholic priests, or +their capacity for hard and often exhausting work. + +Let me, however, guard myself from misapprehension. That a celibate +life, combined with rich feeding, French novels, and low thinking, does +produce a great deal of physical harm goes almost without saying. +Nature, like her Lord, requires truth in the inward parts, and takes but +small care of outward respectabilities that are but the whitewashed +graves of inward foulness. Surely Lowell is right when he says, "I hold +unchastity of mind to be worse than that of body." To live the +unmarried life one must, of course, fulfil its conditions of plain +living and clean thinking. + +It is almost with a feeling of shame that I have dwelt at some length on +the point we have been considering; but all through my ten years of work +the sunken rock on which I was always making shipwreck was the necessity +of the evil--often openly avowed by men, but haunting even the minds of +women like a shadow--a shadow which gained solidity and substance from a +sense of their helpless ignorance. I have even met with Christian women +who have serenely averred to my face that they have been told, on +authority that they could not question, that, were it not for the +existence of an outcast class, no respectable woman would be safe and we +could not insure the purity of the home! So low had the moral +consciousness fallen, through ignorance and thoughtless acceptance of +the masculine code, that women calling themselves Christians could be +found who seemed wholly unconscious of the deep inner debasement of +accepting the degradation of other women as a safeguard to our own +virtue and of basing the purity of the Christian home on the ruined +bodies and souls of the children of the poor. Truly the dark places of +the world within, as well as of the world without, are full of cruelty! + +What can I do, in the face of such an experience as this, but humbly and +earnestly beseech the women of England and America not to play fast and +loose with the moral sense within them--- which is God's voice within +us--but to hold fast to the moral law, one, equal, and indivisible, for +men and women alike; and to know and feel sure that, whatever else is +bound up with the nature of man or with an advancing civilization, the +hopeless degradation of woman is not that something. It is God who has +made us--not we ourselves, with our false codes, false notions, and +false necessities; and God has made the man to love the woman and give +himself for her, not to degrade her and destroy the very function for +which she was made the blessed "mother of all living." + +Only be sure of this: that men will rise to the level of any standard +that we set them. For the present standard of what Sainte Beuve calls +"l'homme sensuel moyen," which we have accepted and tacitly endorsed, we +women are largely to blame. In my conferences with the clergy and +earnest laity held in all our large towns it was always this that men +spoke of as the greatest stumbling-block in their way. With the utmost +bitterness they would urge that men of known fast life were admitted +into society, that women seemed to prefer them rather than not; and it +seemed to make no difference to them what kind of life a man +led--whether he reverenced their womanhood or not. How could I deny this +bitter accusation in the face of facts? All I could urge in extenuation +was that I believed it was due rather to the ignorance than to the +indifference of women, owing to the whole of this dark side of life +having been carefully veiled from their view; but now that this +ignorance was passing away, I was only one of hundreds of women who ask +nothing better than to lay down their lives in the cause of their own +womanhood. Only when women learn to respect themselves; only when no +woman worthy the name will receive into her own drawing-room in friendly +intercourse with her own girls the man who has done his best to make her +womanhood a vile and desecrated thing; only when no mother worthy the +name will, for the sake of wealth or position,--what is called "a good +match,"--give her pure girl to a man on the very common conditions, as +things have been, that some other ten or twenty young girls--some poor +mothers' daughters--have been degraded and cast aside into the gutter, +that she, the twenty-first in this honorable harem, may be held in +apparent honor as a wife; only when no woman worthy the name will marry +under the conditions portrayed by our great novelist, George +Eliot,--that of another woman being basely forsaken for her sake--then, +and then only, will this reproach that men level at us drop off; then, +and then only, shall we be able to save our own sons and bring in a +better and purer state of things, enabling them to fight the battle of +their life at less tremendous odds; then, and then only, shall we be +able to evolve the true manhood, whose attitude is not to defile and +destroy, but "to look up and to lift up." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 3: _Short History of the English People_, by J.R. Green, p. +247.] + +[Footnote 4: See a little White Cross paper entitled, _Medical +Testimony_.] + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE SECRET AND METHOD + + +There is a simile of Herbert Spencer's, in his book on Sociology, which +has often helped me in dealing with great moral problems. He says: + + "You see that wrought-iron plate is not quite flat; it sticks up a + little here towards the left, 'cockles,' as we say. How shall we + flatten it? Obviously, you reply, by hitting down on the part that + is prominent. Well, here is a hammer, and I give the plate a blow + as you advise. Harder, you say. Still no effect. Another stroke. + Well, there is one, and another, and another. The prominence + remains, you see; the evil is as great as ever, greater, indeed. + But this is not all. Look at the warp which the plate has got near + the opposite edge. Where it was flat before it is now curved. A + pretty bungle we have made of it! Instead of curing the original + defect, we have produced a second. Had we asked an artisan + practised in 'planishing,' as it is called, he would have told us + that no good was to be done, but only mischief, by hitting down on + the projecting part. He would have taught us how to give variously + directed and specially adjusted blows with a hammer elsewhere, so + attacking the evil not by direct but by indirect actions. The + required process is less simple than you thought. Even a sheet of + metal is not to be successfully dealt with after those common-sense + methods in which you have so much confidence. 'Do you think I am + easier to be played on than a pipe?' asked Hamlet. Is humanity more + readily straightened than an iron plate?"[5] + +Now, in our moral "planishing" we need to know where and how to direct +our blows, lest in endeavoring to lessen the evil we not only increase +the evil itself, but produce other evils almost as great as the one we +intended to cure. The mistake that we commit--and this is, I think, +especially true of us women--is to rush at our moral problems without +giving a moment's thought to their causes, which often lie deep hidden +in human nature. Our great naturalist, Darwin, gave eight years' study +to our lowly brother, the barnacle; he gave an almost equal amount of +time to the study of the earthworm and its functions, revealing to us, +in one of his most charming books, how much of our golden harvest, of +our pastures, and our jewelled garden-beds, we owe to this silent and +patient laborer. Yet we think that we can deal with our higher and more +complex human nature without giving it any study at all. We hit down +directly on its moral inequalities, without giving a thought to what has +caused the imperfection, when constantly, as in the sheet of metal which +has to be straightened, the moral disorder has to be met, not directly, +but indirectly--not at the point of the disorder itself, but of its +often unsuspected cause. Purity, like health, like happiness, like so +many of the higher aims of our life, has to be attained altruistically. +Seek them too directly, and they elude our grasp. Like the oarsman, we +have often to turn our back upon our destination in order to arrive at +our end. + +Do not, therefore, think impatiently that I am putting you off with +vague theories when you want practical suggestions, if I ask you first +to give some patient thought to the causes of the disorder which seems +to mark the side of our human nature on which the very existence of the +race depends, and which cannot, therefore, be evil in itself. To me the +problem presented was almost paralyzing. It seemed as if Nature, in her +anxiety to secure the continuance of the species, had taken no account +whatever of the moral law, but had so overloaded the strength of passion +as not only to secure the defeat of the moral law, but even of her own +ends, by producing the sterility which results from vicious indulgence. +It was not till I met with two wonderful sermons on "The Kingdom of +God," by that great master of "divine philosophy," Dr. James Martineau, +that I first got a clue to the moral difficulty and to that fuller +understanding of our human nature which is so essential to all who have +the training and moulding of the young. And, therefore, I ask you to let +me enter at some length into this teaching, which will not only give us +light for our own guidance, but enable us to grasp the right principles +on which we have to act in the moral training of the coming +generation.[6] + +Now, in trying to think out the laws of our own being, we are met at +the very outset by the great crux in the moral world: What is the true +relation of the material to the spiritual,--of the body, with its +instincts and appetites, to the moral personality, with its conscience +and will? On the one hand, seeing the fatal proneness of man to obey his +appetites and run into terrible excesses, ascetics in all ages and of +all creeds have taught that the body itself is evil and the seat of sin; +that its instincts must be crushed and its appetites repressed and +eradicated; and that it is only so far as you trample your animal nature +under foot that you can rise to be a saint. "Brute," "blind," "dead," +have been the epithets bestowed on matter, which is a ceaseless play of +living forces that rest not day nor night. To look down on the material +pleasures with suspicion, to fly contact with the rude world and lose +one's self in the unembodied splendors of the spiritual, to save souls +rather than men and women, to preach abstract doctrines rather than +grapple with hideous concrete problems--this has been the tendency of +the religious spirit in all ages, a tendency of which positive +asceticism, with its mortification of the body, and its ideal of +virginity, and marriage regarded as more or less a concession to the +flesh, is only an exaggeration. + +On the other hand, in disgust at the mutilation of human nature and +under pretext of its consummation, has arisen the "fleshly school," +whose maxim is "obedience to Nature,"--leaving undefined what nature, +the nature of the swine or the nature of the man,--which holds that +every natural instinct ought to be obeyed, which takes the agreeable as +the test of the right, and which goes in for the "healthy animal" with +enlightened self-interest as the safeguard against excesses. + +Alas! the results are no happier. The healthy animal treads under his +feet the helpless and the weak, who suffer that he may grow fat and +kick. The attractive warmth and color and richness are found to be but +rottenness and decay. + +When, dissatisfied with the teaching of men, one turns to the great +world at large, to see whether some practical instinct may not have +guided men to a right adjustment, one's first feeling is one of dismay +at the spectacle presented. The bodily instincts and appetites that seem +to work aright in the animal world, in man seem fatally overloaded, and, +instead of hitting the mark, explode with disaster and death at the +outset. + +Let us now turn to the teaching of Christ, and see whether it does not +explain the deep disorder of the animal instincts in the world of man, +and while saving us on the one hand from the self-mutilation of +asceticism, and from the swinishness of the fleshly school on the +other, whether it does not embrace the truth that is in both and teach +us how to correlate the material and the spiritual. + +Now, Dr. Martineau points out that Christ teaches, in contradistinction +to asceticism, that the animal body, with its instincts and appetites, +is as good on its own plane as the higher and spiritual attributes of +man are on theirs. Our Father knoweth that, in common with other +creatures, we have need of physical good, and He has provided us with a +self-acting mechanism for its attainment, which will work rightly if +only it is left alone and not tampered with. There is the same +provision in us as in them of unconscious instincts and appetites for +carrying on the lower life which is necessary as the platform of the +higher spiritual being, to set it free, as it were, for the pursuit of +its legitimate ends--all those higher and wider interests in life which +are comprised under the one comprehensive name of "the kingdom of God." +And the teaching of Christ is: Neither hate nor fear this part of your +nature with the ascetic, nor pamper and stimulate it with the Hedonist, +but let it alone to act on its own plane; trust it, trust God who made +it, while you throw all your conscious energies into the higher +concerns of life; and you will find, when left to its own unconscious +activity, it is neither an over-nor an under-provision for carrying on +your subsistence and that of the race. "Take no anxious thought +[(Greek: me merimnesete)] for the morrow." "Your Father knoweth that ye +have need of these things," and has arranged your being accordingly. +"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added +to you." "Behold the birds of the air; your heavenly Father feedeth +them." + +"Oh," says the practical man at once, "that is all very fine as +sentiment; it is very Eastern and poetical; but I should like to know +how, in these overcrowded days, I could support myself and family if I +am to trust God to feed me and them like the birds of the air, and only +think about religion." But is not this wholly to misunderstand our +Lord's teaching? How does God feed the birds of the air? Is it not by +incessant and untiring effort on their part? Those who have watched a +pair of birds flying backwards and forwards to the nest under the eave +may well question whether industry can go further. But in the +unconscious being of a bird it is toil without [Greek: merimna], +without thought and worry, and becomes, therefore, the very picture to +us of trust in a higher Power, who has thus adjusted an unerring +instinct to an unfailing end. The insect and the bird provide for the +morrow, while they take no anxious thought for the morrow. "The agility +which achieves it is theirs, the skill and foresight absent from them +remain with God. And thus the simple life of lower natures, in its +unconscious surrender to involuntary though internal guidance, becomes +the negative type of perfect trust."[7] + +But to leave his instincts and appetites to work, unimpeded and +unconscious, on their own plane, while he concerns himself with matters +of truly human interest, is just what man is not content to do. On the +contrary, he takes his higher and spiritual nature down into them. He +enhances their pleasure with all the powers of his imagination; he sets +his intellect to work to plot and plan for their gratification; he loads +them with the whole force of his spiritual will, and in so doing he +overloads and maddens them. The instinct for food and drink, which in +the animal is sufficient for the maintenance of health and activity, in +the man becomes gluttony and drunkenness; the instinct for the +preservation of the race becomes the licentiousness which produces +sterility and defeats its own ends; the instinct of self-maintenance +becomes the feverish greed and money-getting which leave no room for the +higher life of beauty, and science, and worship, and disinterested +service. "Seek ye first the material," says the world, "and all these +things shall be added unto you when you get the time for them"--which +will be probably never. + +Now, then, do we not begin to see why the animal instincts and +appetites, which make for order and happiness, and fufil their end in +the animal world, lead to such intolerable disorder in the world of +man? Their laws, like all other laws in the Divine economy, are holy and +just and good; but man by not observing their conditions makes them work +evil and death. Do you not see that to be a healthy animal is just what +man cannot be except by being a true and high-minded man, all his +conscious energies taken up and absorbed on a higher plane, with none +left over to filter down into and disorder the animal instincts, which +only work aright when left to their own unconscious activity? Fix your +consciousness long enough on the tip of your little finger, and you will +feel a pricking sensation in it. The mind directed intently to any part +of the frame will produce a flow of blood there. Any physician will tell +you that this is one of the greatest difficulties he has to contend with +in his patients; the mind being steadily directed to some disordered +spot increases the congestion which is the result of disease. + +Unconsciousness, therefore, is the very channel in which our animal +nature works healthily and undisturbed according to its own laws. But +you are a self-conscious being, and not as the animals. God keeps the +keys of their nature in His own hands. They are shut up to certain ends +which are in His purpose rather than in their minds. They are locked +within limits of their nature, which are absolute, and cannot, +therefore, be transgressed. But man, in virtue of his self-consciousness, +is emphatically "he who hath the keys, who openeth and no man +shutteth, and who shutteth and no man openeth." All the secret recesses +of your being lie open to you, and no man can close it to your vision. +You can voluntarily shut the door of salvation and hamper the lock, and +no man can open. A limit is no absolute limit to you because your very +consciousness of the limit involves your consciousness of the beyond +which makes it a limit. And therefore to you as a self-knowing +existence, with your being necessarily surrendered into your own hands, +two faculties have been given as a substitute for the unconscious +necessity of an animal nature: First, a self-judging faculty which we +call conscience, or a power of discerning between a lower and a higher, +and a sense of obligation to the higher which enables you to correlate +your faculties and functions in their true order of relative +excellence; and secondly, a spiritual will, capable of carrying the +decisions of conscience into practical execution and attaining to a +necessity of moral law. The true function of man's will is not, +therefore, to add itself on to any one of his instincts and give it a +disordered strength, but, while throwing its chief conscious energies +into the higher interests of life, to rule his instincts and appetites +according to those higher interests. This, when the condition of that +infinitely complex thing, modern civilized life, interferes, as at +times it must do, with the legitimate exercise of his instincts, and +his good has to be subordinated to the good of the greater number, may +occasionally involve a hard struggle, even when the instincts have been +left to their own healthy natural play; but at least it will be all the +difference between a struggle with a spirited animal and a maddened and +infuriated brute. + +"But," asks Dr. Martineau, "if the animal instincts and appetites are to +be directed by conscience and ruled by the will in accordance with the +dictates of conscience, what becomes of the unconsciousness which is +necessary for their right action? Its place is gradually supplied by +habit, which is the unconsciousness of a self-conscious being." The +habit of plain living and spare food, so necessary to high thinking, at +first acquired possibly by real effort of will, by real fasting and +prayer, becomes a second nature, that sets the will free for higher +conquests. The habit of purity, which at first may have resulted only +from a sleepless watch of the will in directing the thoughts and +imagination into safe channels, becomes an instinctive recoil from the +least touch of defilement. The habit of unworldly simplicity, which may +have had to be induced by deliberate self-denial, becomes a natural +disposition which rejects superfluities from unconscious choice. + +This is what takes place where direct conflict is necessitated by the +constant readjustment of the individual, with his instincts and +appetites, to his social environment which so complex a state of society +as that of modern civilization involves. But under ordinary +circumstances, where the teaching of Christ is observed and all the +conscious energies of the man are absorbed in seeking first the kingdom +of God, there the need of conflict on the lower plane is at least +partially done away with. The whole current of thought and will, flowing +into higher channels, is drained away from the lower instincts and +appetites, which are thus restored to their natural unconsciousness, +with only an occasional interference on the part of the will to +subordinate them to human ends and aims, or to those demands of a high +and complex civilization in the benefits of which we all share, but for +whose fuller and richer life we have in some directions to pay, and +perhaps at times to pay heavily. The scientific man who in his +passionate devotion to the search after truth--the kingdom of God as +revealed in the order of the universe--exclaimed testily that he had no +time to waste in making money, had no conflict with the instinct of +self-subsistence maddened into greed. It worked out a sufficient +quotient of bread and cheese to insure the healthy exercise of his +brain, and that was enough. The Alpine climber, intent on mastering a +printless snow-peak, has not to control an appetite sharpened by +mountain air from sinking into the gluttony which would be fatal to the +cool head and steady foot necessary for his enterprise. The man who has +a noble passion for the weak and defenceless, who from the first has +cultivated a chivalrous loyalty to women, putting far from him the +lowering talk, the cynical expression, the moral lassitude of society, +and guarding his high enthusiasm from the blight of worldly commonplace, +has no need to fight against the lower instinct that would degrade them +or wrong the weak and defenceless. The conflict is there, but it is +removed to a nobler and higher battle-field, a battle against the +sacrifice of the weak by the strong, whilst in him the lower life may be +left to settle itself, as in the unconscious birds of the air. "Love +God," as St. Augustine said, "and do what you will." "Be a child of the +water, and you may be a child of the wind, blowing where it listeth." +"Seek the kingdom of God first, and all these things shall be added to +you." + +This, then, is the first great practical lesson that we learn from the +study of the laws of our human nature, taken in their widest aspect, +under the teaching of the Divine Master, the "open secret" of overcoming +in man and woman alike, that which restores to us our whole nature, and +vindicates it, even in the depths of disorder into which it has +practically fallen, as originally bearing the Divine stamp. The more +unconscious we are in the pursuit of physical good, the better for the +ends of life; the more conscious we are in the pursuit of moral and +spiritual good, the nearer we are to that kingdom of righteousness and +peace and joy in the Holy Ghost which we seek. Get out of the narrow +individualism or atomism--for let us never forget that individual and +atom are the same word--which threatens to dwarf and pulverize us, which +keeps within our view only the narrow range of our own interests and +defeats their true pursuit by the very intensity of attention it +concentrates upon them; and live, as Goethe says, "in the beautiful, the +good, and the whole," the kingdom of the Eternal. Have the higher +passion that casts out the lower. The physician whose conscious aim is +the relief of human suffering and the enforcement of the laws of health, +even though a large professional income may be added to him; the lawyer +who regards himself as the minister of the Just One to uphold the law of +right and equity, whose reputation does not rest on his skill in getting +off a fraudulent company without costs, and who makes his money not by +his "practices," but by his honest practice; the man of science who +reverently devotes himself, as the servant of the truth, to "think God's +thoughts after Him," in the words of Kepler's prayer, and establish the +kingdom of law and order, in the humbleness of conscious limitation +which forbids dogmatizing; the artist who is true to his art and does +not subordinate the laws of the eternal Loveliness to the shifting laws +of the temporary market; the capitalist who looks upon himself as the +steward of the public good, and to whom material gain is the means and +not the end; the workman who does good work for the kingdom of God's +sake, knowing that every stroke of good work is a brick in the palace +of the great King, and who scorns to scamp because it pays; and, +generally speaking, every man who is so intent on helping and serving +others that his thoughts are taken off himself and centred on +another--these are the men who are seeking first a kingdom of God, +wherein dwelleth righteousness; these are the men who, living in the +higher life can rule the lower--the men whose feet are in the lilies, +and to whom the floods of earthly passion, even when they beat hardest, +end in the flight of a dove and in a triumphal arch of light. + +Now, you will see at once the intensely practical bearing of this +teaching on the training of your boys. You are not called to hit down +directly on the evil, to give warnings against vice, or to speak on +things which your womanhood unspeakably shrinks from mentioning. What +you are called to do is to secure, so far as you can, that the mind and +soul moves on its own proper plane. It is more an attitude you have to +form than a warning you have to give. And here it is that the imperative +need of high positive teaching comes in. Till parents, and especially +mothers, recognize their God-given functions as the moral teachers of +their own children, till they cease to shunt off their responsibilities +on the professional shoulders of the schoolmaster, we had better frankly +give up the whole question in despair. Strange and sad it seems to me +that at the end of the nineteenth century after the coming of our Lord +I should have to plead that the moral law is possible under every +condition to any man, and that parents are _ipso facto_ the moral +teachers of their own children. And yet it is the denial, tacit or +explicit, of these two primary truths that has been the greatest +obstacle to the progress of my work. + +But I appeal to you: Who but a mother can bring such a constant and +potent influence to bear as to secure the mind and character moving on +its own higher plane in relation to the whole of this side of our +nature? Who so well as a mother can teach the sacredness of the body as +the temple of the Eternal? Who else can implant in her son that habitual +reverence for womanhood which to a man is "as fountains of sweet water +in the bitter sea" of life? Who like a mother, as he grows to years of +sense and observation, and the curiosity is kindled, which is only a cry +for light and teaching, can so answer the cry and so teach as to make +the mysteries of life and truth to be for ever associated for him with +all the sacred associations of home and his own mother, and not with the +talk of the groom or the dirty-minded schoolboy? Who so well as a +mother, as he passes into dawning manhood, can plead faithfulness to the +future wife before marriage as well as after? Nay, as I hold by the old +Spanish proverb "An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy," who +like a mother, by her prayers and ever-present example and influence, +can lead him to the Highest, and impress upon him that his life is +given him for no lower end than, in the words of the Westminster +Confession, "to know God and to glorify Him for ever"; and that +therefore he is made on a very high plan--as Browning puts it, "Heaven's +consummate cup," whose end is to slake "the Master's thirst"; and that +the cup from which He drinks must be clean inside as well as out, and +studded within and without with the pearl of purity? + +But refuse to give him this higher teaching and training; go on, as so +many mothers have done, blankly ignoring the whole subject, because it +is so difficult to speak to one's boys,--as if everything worth having +in this life were not difficult!--leave him to the teaching of dirty +gossip, of unclean classical allusions in his school-books, of scraps of +newspaper intelligence, possibly of bad companions whom he may pick up +at school or business, and be sure of it, as this side of his nature is +awakened--in his search after gratified curiosity or pleasurable +sensation, in utter ignorance of what he is doing, through your fault, +not through his--he will use his imagination and his will to strengthen +the animal instincts. What ought to have been kept on a higher plane of +being will be used to stimulate functions just coming into existence, +and pre-eminently needing to be let alone on their own plane to mature +quietly and unconsciously. Thus dwelt upon and stimulated, these +functions become in a measure disordered and a source of miserable +temptation and difficulty, even if no actual wrong-doing results. If you +only knew what those struggles are, if you only knew what miserable +chains are forged in utter helpless ignorance, you would not let any +sense of difficulty or shrinking timidity make you refuse to give your +boy the higher teaching which would have saved him. + +It is told of the beautiful Countess of Dufferin, by her son and +biographer, Lord Dufferin, that when the surgeons were consulting round +her bedside which they should save--the mother or the child--she +exclaimed, "Oh, never mind me; save my baby!" If you knew the facts as I +know them, I am quite sure you would exclaim, in the face of any +difficulties, any natural shrinking on your part, "Oh, never mind me, +let me save my boys!" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 5: _The Study of Sociology_, by Herbert Spencer (International +Scientific Series), p. 270, fifth edition, 1876.] + +[Footnote 6: I quote here at some length from a White Cross paper called +_Per Augusta ad Augusta_, in which I summarized and applied Dr. +Martineau's teaching, as I do not think I can do it more clearly or in +more condensed form. By some mistake it came out, not under my name, but +under the initials of the writer of _True Manliness_ and several others +of the White Cross Series. I only mention the mistake now to safeguard +my own intellectual honesty.] + +[Footnote 7: _Hours of Thought_, by Dr. Martineau, vol. i., p. 35, third +edition.] + + + + +CHAPTER V + +EARLY BOYHOOD + + +Having now laid down the general principles which we have to recognize +in the moral training of the young, let me endeavor to make some +practical suggestions how these principles may be carried out, +suggestions which, as a matter of fact, I have found to be helpful to +educated mothers in the great and responsible task of training the men +of the future generation. + +All I would earnestly ask you to remember is, that in offering these +suggestions I am in no way venturing to dictate to you, only endeavoring +to place a wide experience at your service. Doubtless you will often +modify and, in some cases, very possibly reverse my conclusions. All I +ask is that you should weigh them thoughtfully and prayerfully and with +an open and unprejudiced mind before you finally reject them. + +Let us, therefore, begin with the nursery. It is in the nursery that the +roots of the evil we have to contend with are often first planted, and +this in more senses than one. In the more obvious sense all experienced +mothers know what I mean. But I am quite sure that there are a large +number of young wives who become mothers without the smallest knowledge +of the dangers to which even infant boys may be exposed. This ignorance +is painfully shown by the frequent application for nursemaids from our +penitentiaries. At one house where I held a small meeting my young +hostess, an intelligent literary woman, came into my room after the +household had retired to rest to ask me about some curious actions which +she had noticed in her baby boy at night. There could not be a doubt or +a question that her nurse was corrupting her little child before that +hapless young mother's eyes, and forming in him habits which could only +lead to misery hereafter, and only too possibly to idiocy and death; and +that young mother was too ignorant to save her own baby boy! Indeed, I +know of no greater instance of the cruelty of "the conspiracy of +silence" than the fact that in all the orthodox medical manuals for +young mothers the necessary knowledge is withheld.[8] But more +marvellous still is the fact that women should ever have placidly +consented to an ignorance which makes it impossible for them to save +even baby boys from a corrupt nursemaid, who by some evil chance may +have found her way into their service through a false character or under +some other specious disguise, not seeing at once that the so-called +delicacy which shrinks from knowing everything that is necessary in +order to save is not purity but prurience. + +I would, therefore, beseech young mothers who are conscious of their own +ignorance to see a lady doctor, if they do not like to consult their own +family physician, and ask her to tell them plainly what they have to +guard against and the best methods to pursue. All I can say here is to +beseech every mother to be absolutely careful about the antecedents of +her nursemaids, and only to admit those of unblemished character into +the precincts of the nursery. Never, if possible, let your baby boy +sleep with any one but yourself, if through illness or any other cause +he cannot sleep in his own little cot. Pyjamas, I think, are generally +recognized now to be the best form of night gear, as keeping the little +limbs warm and covered, when in the restlessness of sleep the child +throws off the bedclothes, as well as for other and more vital reasons. +If through straitened means you cannot afford an experienced nurse--not +that I should altogether allow that even the experienced nurse is to be +implicitly and blindly trusted until she has been well tested--then I +would entreat you not to let sleepiness or ill health or any other +excuse prevent you from being always present at your boy's morning bath. +Often and often evil habits arise from imperfect washing and consequent +irritation; and many a wise mother thinks it best on this account to +revert to the old Jewish rite of initiation by which cleanliness was +secured. Teach them from the first self-reverence in touch, as in word +and deed, and watch even their attitudes in sleep, that the little arms +are folded lightly upwards. Even experienced nurses are not always nice +in their ways. Be vigilantly watchful that the utmost niceness is +observed between the boys and girls in the nursery, and that childish +modesty is never broken down, but, on the contrary, nurtured and +trained. Knowledge and watchfulness are the two cherubim with the +flaming sword turning all ways to guard the young tree of life and bar +the way of every low and creeping thing. If I may venture in some sort +to reverse our Lord's words, I should say His word to all mothers is, +"What I say unto all I say especially unto you, _Watch_." + +But there is another and a deeper sense in which the root of the evil is +first planted and nourished in the nursery. If we are to contend with +this deadly peril to soul and body, I cannot but feel that we must bring +about a radical change in the training of our boys. There must be some +radical defect in that training for men to take the attitude they do. I +do not mean bad, dissipated men, but men who in all other relations of +life would be designated fairly good men. Once let such a man be +persuaded--however wrongly--that his health, or his prospect of having +some day a family of his own, will suffer from delayed marriage and he +considers the question settled. He will sacrifice his health to +over-smoking, to excess in athletics, to over-eating or champagne +drinking, to late hours and overwork; but to sacrifice health or future +happiness to save a woman from degradation, bah! it never so much as +enters his mind. Even so high-minded a writer as Mr. Lecky, in his +_History of European Morals_,[9] deliberately proposes that the +difficulty of deferred marriage which advanced civilization +necessitates, at least for the upper classes, should be met by temporary +unions being permitted with a woman of a lower class. The daughters of +workingmen, according to this writer, are good enough as fleshly +stop-gaps, to be flung aside when a sufficient income makes the true +wife possible--an honorable proceeding indeed! to say nothing of the +children of such a temporary union, to whom the father can perform no +duty, and leave no inheritance, save the inestimable one of a mother +with a tainted name. Verily there must be some fault in our training of +men! Certainly an intelligent American mother put her finger on the +blot, so far as we are concerned, when, speaking to me many years ago, +she said what struck her so in our English homes was the way in which +the girls were subordinated to the boys; the boys seemed first +considered, the girls in comparison were nowhere. Doubtless our English +homes are more at fault here than in America; but, as a mother's pride +in her boys is the same all over the world, may not even American homes +admit of a little improvement in this respect as well? And, if we choose +to bring up our boys to look upon their mothers and sisters as more or +less the devoted slaves of their selfishness, can we wonder that they +should grow up to look upon all women as more or less the slaves of +their needs, fleshly or otherwise? + +Now, what I want all boys taught from their earliest years is, roughly +speaking, that boys came into the world to take care of girls. Whatever +modification may take place in our view of the relation of the sexes, +Nature's great fact will remain, that the man is the stronger--a +difference which civilization and culture seem to strengthen rather than +diminish; and from his earliest years he ought to be taught that he, +therefore, is the one that has to serve. It is the strong that have to +bear the burden of the weaker, and not to prostitute that strength by +using it to master the weaker into bearing their loads. It is the man +who has to give himself for the woman, not the other way on, as we have +made it. Nay, this is no theory of mine; it is a truth implanted in the +very heart of every true man. "Every true man," as Milton says, "is born +a knight," diligently as we endeavor to stub up this royal root, +constantly, as from the very nursery, we endeavor to train it out of +him. You may deny the truth and go on some theory of your own in the +training of your boys, but the truth cannot deny itself. It is _there_, +whether you will have it or not, a root of the tree of life itself. + +Now there is not a day that need pass without opportunities of training +your boys in this their true knightly attitude. You can see, as I have +already said, that they learn in relation to their own sisters what in +after years they have to practise towards all women alike. To give up +the comfortable easy-chair, the favorite book or toy, the warmest place +by the fire, to the little sister--this ought to become a second nature +to a well-trained boy. To carry a parcel for her, to jump up and fetch +anything she wants, to give in to her because he is a boy and the +stronger--all this ought to be a matter of course. As he grows older you +can place him in little positions of responsibility to his sisters, +sending them out on an expedition or to a party under his care. In a +thousand such ways you can see that your boy is not only born but grows +up a knight. I was once in a house where the master always brought up +the heavy evening water-cans and morning coal-scuttles for the maids. +And if these were placed at the foot of the stairs so as to involve no +running in and out of the kitchen, it might be no mean exercise for a +boy's muscles. + +I was told only the other day of a little six-year-old boy whose mother +had brought him up from babyhood on these principles. He was playing +with his little sister on a bed, when suddenly he perceived that she +was getting perilously near the edge which was farthest from the wall. +Instantly he dismounted and went round to the other side, and, climbing +up, pushed her gently into the middle of the bed, remarking +sententiously to himself, "I think boys ought always to take the +dangerous side of their sisters." Ah me! if only you mothers would but +train your boys to "take the dangerous side of their sisters," +especially of those poor little sisters who are thrust forth at so early +an age to earn their own living, alone and unprotected, on the perilous +highways of the world, skirted for them by so terrible a precipice, what +a different world would it be for us women, what a purer and better +world for your sons! + +Surely the womanhood in our homes ought to enable us to bring up our +boys in such an habitual attitude of serving a woman, of caring for her, +of giving himself for her, that it would become a moral impossibility +for him ever to lower or degrade a woman in his after-life. + +In concluding these suggestions there is one point I must emphasize, the +more so as in treating of one particular moral problem it is difficult +not to seem to ignore a truth which is simply vital to all moral +training. Let us clearly recognize that there is no such thing as moral +specialism. Our moral being, like Wordsworth's cloud, "moveth altogether +if it move at all." You cannot strengthen one particular virtue except +by strengthening the character all round. Cardinal Newman points out--I +think in one of those wonderful Oxford sermons of his--that what our +ancestors would have called "a bosom sin" will often take an underground +course and come to the surface at quite an unexpected point in the +character. Hidden licentiousness, which one would expect to evince +itself in over-ripe sentiment and feeling, manifests itself instead in +cruelty and hardness of heart. The little habit of self-indulgence which +you in your foolish fondness have allowed in that boy of yours may, in +after-life, come out as the very impurity which you have endeavored so +earnestly to guard him against. This mystical interdependence and hidden +correlation of our moral and intellectual being is a solemn thought, and +can only be met by recognizing that the walls of the citadel must be +strengthened at all points in order to resist the foe at one. +Truthfulness, conscientiousness that refuses to scamp work, devotion to +duty, temperance in food and drink, rectitude--these things are the +bastions of purity of life, as well as of all high character. + +But in these days I think we have more especially to remember that the +Beautiful Gate of all noble living rests, like the gate of the Jewish +Temple, on two pillars, both of which show signs of being considerably +out of repair. One of these pillars is obedience, or discipline. If you +have not exacted prompt and unhesitating obedience in your boy, from his +earliest childhood, to the parents whom he has seen, do you think that +in after years he will obey the Father of Lights, whom he has not seen? +Do you think, if you have let him set your authority at defiance, he +will in future years, with temptation on one side and opportunity on the +other, bow to the invisible authority of conscience? What is it, I ask, +that makes the army the finest school for character, giving us our +Lawrences, our Havelocks, our Gordons, our Kitcheners, but simply this +habit of implicit obedience, of that discipline which has grown so +grievously lax in so many of our English homes? In Carlyle's strong +words, "Obedience is our universal duty and destiny, wherein whoso will +not bend must break: too early and too thoroughly we cannot be trained +to know that 'would,' in this world of ours, is as mere zero to +'should,' and for most part as the smallest of fractions even to +'shall.'"[10] + +The second great pillar of the portal of noble life seems to me to show +still greater signs of being out of repair and in want of restoration, +and that pillar is reverence,--that heaven-eyed quality which Dr. +Martineau rightly places at the very top of the ethical scale. Let that +crumble, and the character which might have been a temple sinks into a +mere counting-house. When in these days children are allowed to call +their father Dick, Jack, or Tom, and nickname their own mother; when +they are allowed to drown the voice of the most honored guest at the +table with their little bald chatter, so that even the cross-questioning +genius of a Socrates would find itself at a discount; when they are +allowed to criticise and contradict their elders in a way that would +have appalled our grandmothers; when they are suffered to make remarks +which are anything but reverent on sacred things--have I not some reason +to fear that the one attribute which touches the character to fine +issues is threatened with extinction? Do you think that the boy who has +never been taught to reverence his own mother's womanhood will reverence +the degraded womanhood of our streets, or hear that Divine Voice +guarding all suffering manhood and all helpless womanhood from wrong at +his hands, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have +done it unto Me?" + +Oh, I would entreat you to set yourself firmly against this evil +tendency of our day, to which I cannot but believe so much of its +agnosticism is due,--that deadening down and stamping out of the +spiritual instincts of our nature, those great intuitions of the soul, +which lie both above and below all reasoning and logic and form their +basis rather than their apex. Once let the springs of reverence be +choked up, once let that window of the soul be overgrown with weeds and +cobwebs, and your most careful training will only produce a character +estimable in many respects, but for the most part without noble +aspirations, without high ideals, with no great enthusiasms--a +character, to use Saint Beuve's expressive phrase, "tout en facade sur +la rue," whose moral judgments are no better than street cries; the type +of man that accepts the degradation of women with blank alacrity as a +necessity of civilization, and would have it regulated, like any other +commodity for the market; that very common type of character which, +whatever its good qualities, spreads an atmosphere of blight around it, +stunting all upward growing things and flattening down our life to the +dead level of desert sands. + +If you would not be satisfied at your boy rising no higher than this, +then, again I say, guard the springs of reverence. Do not let your pride +in your child's smartness or any momentary sense of humor make you pass +over any little speech that savors of irreverence; check it instantly. +Exact respect for yourself and for the boy's father, the respect which +is no enemy, but the reverse, to the uttermost of fondness. Insist upon +good manners and respectful attention to the guests of your house. Do +not despise the good old fashion of family prayers because they do not +rise to all that we might wish them to be. At least they form a daily +recognition of "Him in whom the families of the earth are blessed"--a +daily recognition which that keen observer of English life, the late +American Ambassador, Mr. Bayard, pointed out as one of the great secrets +of England's greatness, and which forms a valuable school for habits of +reverence and discipline for the children of the family. Insist upon +the boys being down in time for the worship of God, and do not allow +them to get into the habit indulged in by so many young men of "sloping" +down with slippered feet long after breakfast is done and prayers are +over. + +Only let the springs of reverence well up in your child's soul, and +then, and then only, will you be able to give your boy what, after all, +must always be the greatest safeguard from shipwreck in this perilous +world--religious faith, that stops him at the very threshold of +temptation with the words: "How can I do this great wickedness and sin +against God?" Your very attitude as you kneel by his side with bowed +head and folded hands while he says his little evening and morning +prayer will breathe into his soul a sense of a Divine Presence about our +bed and about our path. Your love--so strong to love, and yet so weak to +save--can lead his faltering childish feet to that Love which is deeper +than our deepest fall, "which knows all, but loves us better than it +knows." You can press your child against the very heart of God, and lay +him in the Everlasting Arms, that faint not, neither are weary; and, +with the mother of St. Augustine, you may know that the child of such +prayers and such tears will never perish. + + "Happy he + With such a mother! faith in womankind + Beats with his blood, and trust in all things high + Comes easy to him, and though he trip and fall + He shall not blind his soul with clay." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 8: This is the case with our recognized medical manuals; I do +not know whether it is equally true of American manuals.] + +[Footnote 9: Vol. ii. See chapter on "The Position of Women."] + +[Footnote 10: _Sartor Resartus_, by Thomas Carlyle, Book II., chap, ii., +p. 68. Chapman and Hall, 1831.] + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +BOYHOOD AND SCHOOL LIFE + + +I now come to what must always be the great moral crux in a boy's life, +that on which all the higher issues of his character will, in all human +probability, turn--his school life. One of our great educators took +what, looked at superficially, seemed the somewhat retrograde step of +giving up the mastership of a college at Oxford to take again the +head-mastership of a great public school. But in a conversation I had +with him he led me to infer that he had done so from the conviction +forced upon him that the whole moral trend of the character must be +given, if given at all, prior to university life, at the public school; +and to him nothing less than the formation of high moral character +seemed worth striving for. Fine scholarship and high mathematics are +excellent, but after all, as the apostle of culture, Matthew Arnold, has +told us, conduct, and not intellectual attainment, forms seven-tenths of +life. + +Now, it is in connection with your boy's school life that you will have +your greatest dangers to face, your hardest battle to fight. + +I am, of course, aware that your school system is in some respects +different from ours. You have the mixed day school such as largely +obtains in Scotland, but which does not exist, at least for the upper +classes, in England. You have private boarding-schools, which with us +are called preparatory schools, as they form the vestibule to the public +school. And you have, lastly, a few large public schools somewhat on the +model of Eton and Harrow. + +Let us begin with the boarding-school. I do not intend for one moment to +deny the advantages of our great English public schools. They are +excellent for discipline and the formation of strong character, +especially for a ruling race like ours; and their very numerical +strength and importance command a splendid set of men as masters. But +both public and private boarding-schools labor under one great +disadvantage: they remove a boy from all family influence and violate +the order of our life, which can never be violated with impunity. Boys +and girls are sent into the world in pretty equal proportions, and we +were never intended to pile a lot of boys together without girls and +largely without any feminine influence whatever. To do so is to insure +moral disorder whether in our schools or yours. To quote from an +excellent paper of Dr. Butler's: "In giving us sisters," says one of the +Hares in _Guesses at Truth_, "God gave us the best moral antiseptic," +and it is their absence more than anything else that has produced the +moral problems which our boarding-schools present. To be absent from +sisters for the greater part of the year, at an age when their +companionship is perhaps the most eloquent of silent appeals to purity, +is undoubtedly one of the greatest evils to be set against the blessings +of our public schools.[11] + +For my own part, I can only say that the one thing which has filled me +at times with the darkness of despair has not been the facts about our +back streets, not those facts to meet which we hold conferences and +establish penitentiaries, refuges, preventive homes, etc.--I am full of +hopefulness about them--but the facts about our public, and still more +about our private, schools, which until lately have been met with dead +silence and masterly inactivity on the part of English parents. On the +part of mothers I feel sure it is ignorance, not indifference: if they +knew what I know, it simply could not be the latter. Even now, when +some, at least, of their ignorance has been dispelled, I doubt whether +they realize the depth of moral corruption which is to be found in our +public and private schools; the existence of heathen vices which by the +law of our land are treated as felony, and which we would fain hope, +after nineteen centuries of Christianity, might now be relegated to the +first chapter of Romans. They do not realize the presence of other and +commoner forms of impurity, the self-defilement which taints the moral +nature and stimulates the lower nature into unhealthy and abnormal +activity. They do not understand the essentially sporadic nature of the +evil--that it may exist "as a pestilence that walketh in darkness" in +one boarding-school, while another, owing to the influence of a good set +of boys, is comparatively free from it; and they will, therefore, take a +single denial of its existence, possibly from their own husbands, as +conclusive. Even the affirmations of head-masters are not altogether to +be trusted here, as mothers cannot betray the confidence of their own +boys, and often fail in gaining their consent to let the head-master +know what is going on, in the boy's natural dread of being found out as +the source of the information and, according to the ruling code, cut, as +having "peached." Once I obtained leave to expose an indescribable state +of things which was going on in broad daylight in an unsupervised room +at one of our great public schools, utterly unsuspected by the +head-master, and his subordinate, the house-master. But another case +which for long made my life a kind of waking nightmare remained +unexposed to the last. + +Speaking of those commoner forms of impurity to which I have referred, +and which are so mischievous as stimulating immature functions, needing, +as Acton over and over again insists, absolute quiet and rest for +healthy development, Dr. Dukes, the head physician of one of our best +known public schools, states: "The reason why it is so widespread an +evil"--computed in 1886 at eighty per cent. of boys at school, a +computation accepted by a committee of public schoolmasters--"I believe +to be, that the boy leaves home in the first instance without one word +of warning from his parents that he will meet with bad boys who will +tell him that everybody does it, and thus he falls into evil ways from +his innocence and ignorance alone."[12] + +Dr. Dukes further states that as the results of his thirty years' +experience he had come to the conclusion that only one per cent. of +parents ever warned their boys at all before sending them to school. + +These statements were made some fifteen years ago, when first the +conspiracy of silence was broken through and the question of the +morality of our public and private schools was dragged into the light of +day and boldly faced and grappled with, largely owing to the action of +Dr. Pusey. Since then a mass of strenuous effort has been directed +against the evil by our high-minded head-masters; and an immense +improvement has been effected. It is too short a time for one to hope +that the evil has been eradicated; but when parents learn to fulfil +their moral duties of teaching and warning their own boys--as Dr. Dukes +observes--I feel sure it could be so far removed as to cause the numbers +to change places, so that we might obtain a percentage of ninety to +ninety-five of those who lead pure lives while at school, as against +five per cent, who are impure, reversing the lamentable ratio that now +exists. But here again there has been progress, and I feel sure that the +percentage of parents who do warn and teach their sons before sending +them to school is now incomparably higher than Dr. Dukes's "one per +cent." and is steadily rising. + +As to other deeper and nameless evils, they have been already reduced to +a minimum, and if fathers could only be persuaded to do their duty by +their own boys, they might be made wholly to disappear. + +I give you these facts about our English schools, that parents may see +for themselves what are the consequences of refusing both teaching and +warning to their boys, under the delusion that God's lilies will grow up +in the weedy garden of the human heart without strenuous culture and +training. + +Do not, therefore, I beseech you, take for granted that your +boarding-schools are entirely free from such evils. You have the same +conditions that we have. Till lately your boys have been as untaught and +unwarned as ours. In your boarding-schools, as in ours, they are removed +from the purifying influence of mother and sisters. They are just at the +age which has neither the delicacy of childhood nor of early manhood. +Rest assured that conditions will breed like results. + + "My belief, not lightly formed," says Dr. Butler,[13] "is, that + none of the great schools can congratulate themselves on anything + like safety from this danger. And if this is true of the great + public schools, it is still more true of private schools, where the + evil is admittedly greater. Boys and masters alike may strangely + deceive themselves; the evil may hide very close. Many a boy has + been known to assert positively and honestly that nothing of the + kind was ever heard of in his time, and that any fellow suspected + of it would have been cut, and half killed, when all the time the + evil was actively at work even among the circle of his intimate + friends." + +And yet it is this evil, so pervasive in its influence, so certain to +taint the fresh springs of young life with impure knowledge, if not to +foul them with unclean acts, that parents still too often elect to +ignore. The boy, full of eager curiosity, anxious, above all things, to +catch up the ways of the other fellows, afraid, above all things, of +being laughed at for his innocence, and elated at being taken up by one +of the swells in the shape of an elder boy, and at first set-off wholly +ignorant of the motive; exposed to suggestions about the functions of +his own body which he has not the knowledge to rebut as the devil's +lies--what wonder is it that so many boys, originally good and pure, +fall victims? "They blunder like blind puppies into sin," a medical man +who has had much to do with boys' schools exclaimed to me in the +bitterness of his soul. The small house of the young boy's soul, full of +the song of birds, the fresh babble of the voices of sisters, all the +innocent sights and sounds of an English or American home, swept and +garnished till now by such loving hands, but left empty, unguarded, and +unwatched, for the unclean spirit to lift the latch and enter in and +take possession--the pity of it! oh, the pity of it! What can the boy +think? To quote Dr. Dukes again: + + "He will say to himself: 'My father knows of all this vice at + schools, and yet has not said one word to me about it. He has + warned me about most things. He told me to be truthful, to keep my + temper, to be upright and manly, to say my prayers; he pressed me + never to get into debt, never to drink, and never to use bad + language; and he told me I ought to change my boots and clothes + when wet, so as not to get ill; and yet he has not said one + syllable about this. My father is a good man and loves me, and if + he wanted me not to do this he would surely have told me; it can't + be very wrong, else I am sure he would have protected me and told + me all about it." + +I remember a friend of mine, who had been greatly stirred on the whole +subject, endeavoring, with tears in her eyes, to persuade a father to +warn his boy before sending him to his first public school, and on his +absolutely refusing to do any such thing, she said to him, "At least +promise me that you will give him this book," placing in his hands Mr. +George Everett's excellent little book, _Your Innings_. This he +consented to do. The next morning my friend met him at breakfast, the +boy having been already despatched by an early train. "Well," he said, +"I sat up till past twelve last night reading your book; it is +excellent, and I gave it to my lad before starting him off. But there +is just one chapter in it, called a 'Strange Companion,' which I took +the precaution of previously cutting out with my penknife; and my boy in +his after years will thank me for not putting any such ideas in his +head, but having kept him the pure and innocent lad that he is." I need +not say that it was the one chapter that would have put the boy on his +guard. Oh, befooled and purblind father! I happened to know that the +school to which the boy was sent was swept at that time by a moral +epidemic, and before that hapless lad had been a week in its corrupt +atmosphere he would have had ideas put into his head with a vengeance. +His father had handed over the ground of his boy's heart for the devil +to sow the first crop, and as a rule the devil sows, not wild oats, as +we say, but acorns--a dread sowing which it may take years to root up +and to extirpate, even if, so far as after-taint is concerned, it can +ever be wholly extirpated. + +In another case a widowed mother came to one of my meetings, and was +profoundly alarmed at what I said about the dangers of our schoolboys. +It had never occurred to her that her gentlemanly little lad of twelve +could have any temptations of the kind. Unlike the father I have +mentioned, she resolved to speak to him that same evening. She found +that he was fighting a battle against the whole school, standing up +alone for the right, guided by some blind instinct of purity to resist +the foul suggestions which were inflicted upon him, threatening him +with the most terrible consequences in after-life if he did not yield +and do as the other boys did. Think of it, ye mothers! a child of twelve +without a hand to guide him, without a voice to cheer him, refused the +knowledge that would have saved him from his deadly peril, his own +mother deaf and dumb and blind to his struggles, leaving him to fight +his little forlorn hope absolutely alone. I need scarcely say how +thankfully he poured forth his sore heart to his mother when once she +had opened the door, till now kept locked by her own ignorance; and how +she was able to explain to him that, far from reaping any evil +consequences from doing what is right, like Sir Galahad, "his strength +would be the strength of ten" if he kept himself pure. She probably took +steps to remove him from so corrupt an atmosphere as prevailed in that +preparatory school, but of this I do not know. + +But here let me guard myself from being misunderstood. I am not making +out that every schoolboy is exposed to these temptations; there are boys +so exceptionally endowed that they seem to spread a pure atmosphere +around them which is respected by even the coarsest and loosest boys in +the school. All I do maintain, with Dr. Butler, is that no school is +safe from this danger, that at any time it may prove an active one in +your boy's life, and that at the very least you have to guard him from +impure knowledge being thrust upon him before nature has developed the +instincts of manhood by which she guards her inner shrine. + +And now I come to the question of day schools. As I have already said, I +cannot feel but they are more consonant with the order of our life as +giving the discipline and competition of numbers without removing the +boy from family life, nor do they lend themselves to some of the graver +evils of our boarding-schools. But, alas! in themselves they form no +panacea for the evils we are contemplating. On the contrary, I am told +on authority I cannot question that in some places this plague spot is +rife among them. In one case the evil had struck so wide and deep that +the school had to be temporarily closed. Here, again, the same lesson is +emphasized, viz.: that whatever is the form of the school, however +excellent the teacher, there is no substitute in the moral life for the +home teaching and training of mothers and fathers. + +No mother can read these statements unmoved--statements, remember, not +my own, but made by men of the deepest and widest experience, and which, +therefore, you are bound to weigh, ponder, and carefully consider. I +know that straight from your heart again comes the cry, "What can I do?" + +I am inclined to answer this cry in one word, "Everything,"--with God's +help. + + +I + +And now let us enter into practical details. We will begin with the +outworks, and work our way inwards to the shrine. + +First, as to the all-important choice of a school, should the boy's +father decide, for reasons in which you concur to send him to a +boarding-school. + +As to how to ascertain the real state of a school there is, of course, +considerable difficulty. I have always found the best way is through +mothers who have gained the confidence of their boys and who know +through them what really goes on. In this way, as mothers wake up to the +danger their boys run and to their own responsibility in guarding them, +we shall be able to help one another more and more. But make a point of +yourself, as well as the boy's father, personally seeing the master to +whom you think of entrusting your lad, and talking over the matter with +him. In this way you will not only satisfy yourself, but you will +strengthen his hands by making him feel how vital the whole question is +to your heart. What more than anything else weakens the high-minded men +who have the tuition of the young is the utter unconcern that is evinced +by the parents and the sense that, by the payment of a sum of money +down, they can compound with a master for the performance of their +inalienable duty of undertaking the moral education of their own +children. + +Here let me give you two most earnest cautions. Do not attach too much +importance to mere mechanical arrangements as moral safeguards. One of +our most successful head-masters says: + + "I would most seriously warn any parent anxious about the choice of + a school not to attach much weight to the apparent excellence of + arrangements. Some of the worst schools have these arrangements in + the highest perfection. They cannot afford to have them otherwise. + Neat cubicles and spotless dimity have beguiled an uninterrupted + sequence of mammas, and have kept alive, and even flourishing, + schools which are in a thoroughly bad moral state and are + hopelessly inefficient in every particular. Of course, many a + parent feels that he ought to judge for himself, and these + mechanical arrangements are too often the only material on which he + can form his judgment. Let me assure him that they are entirely + untrustworthy." + +Secondly, do not think to find safety in the choice of a so-called +"religious" school, even though it reflect the exact shade of your own +religious opinions. The worst evils I ever knew went on in a school +where the boys implicated held a weekly prayer-meeting! We must boldly +face the fact that there is some mysterious connection between the +religious emotions and the lower animal nature; and the religious +forcing-house, of whatever school of theology, will always be liable to +prove a hot-bed of impurity. Choose a school with a high moral tone, +with religion as an underlying principle--a practical religion, that +inculcates duty rather than fosters emotion, and embodies the wise +proverb of Solomon, "In all labor there is profit, but the talk of the +lips tendeth to penury." + +Only let me beseech you to use your whole influence not to have your +boy sent away at too early an age. Do you really think that the +exclusive society of little boys, with their childish chatter, their +foolish little codes, their crude and often ridiculously false notions +of life, and their small curiosities, naturally inquisitive, but not +always clean in the researches they inspire, and _always_ false in their +results, is morally better for your child than, in Dr. Butler's words, + + "the refining and purifying atmosphere of home, with the tenderness + of a mother, the grace and playfulness of sisters, the love and + loyalty of the family nurse, and lastly--scarcely to be + distinguished in its effects from these influences--the sweetness, + the simplicity, the flower-picking, the pony-patting of happy, + frolicsome younger brothers or sisters in the garden, the paddock, + or stable?" + +If the boy has got out of hand, I ask, Whose fault is that? and is it +fair to the child that your fault should be remedied by sending him away +from all that is best and most purifying in child life? I would plead +earnestly that eleven or twelve is old enough for the private school, +and that a boy should not be sent to a public school before fourteen. In +this I think most of our English head-masters would agree with me. Till +this age, a day school or a tutor should be had recourse to, and when +the time comes for sending him off to school, at least we can refuse to +place the boy anywhere, either at a private or public school, where +there is not some woman to mother and look after the boys and exert a +good womanly influence over them. A head-master keenly alive to moral +dangers, with a capable wife ready to use her womanly influence in +aiding and abetting his efforts, I have found the best possible +combination. + +But if it is decided that the boys are to be brought up at the day +school, your range of choice will probably be very small. You will have +to look wholly to your home influence and teaching to counteract any +evil influence they may encounter in their school life. But as your boys +will never be separated from you, what may not that home influence and +teaching, with knowledge and forewarning to direct it,--what may it not +accomplish? + + +II + +Let us, then, think out the best ways in which you can warn and guard +your boy and fulfil your responsibility of being his moral teacher. + +Let us begin with the simplest measure which you can take, and which can +present no difficulty to anyone. Before sending your boy to school get +him quietly by himself and say to him some such words as these: "My boy, +you know, or will come to know, that when boys get together they often +talk of nasty things, and even do nasty things. Give me your word of +honor as a Christian and a gentleman that you will never say or do +anything that you know you would be ashamed to tell me, that you know +would bring a blush to your sister's cheeks. Always remember that dirty +talk, and still more dirty deeds, are only fit for cads. Promise me +faithfully that you will never let any boy, especially an elder boy, +tell you 'secrets.' If you were to consent through curiosity, or because +you feel flattered at one of the elder fellows taking you up, be sure he +means you no good. Whatever you want to know ask me, and so far as I can +I will tell you." Some such words as these said solemnly to a boy the +day before he leaves home for the first time, either for a +boarding-school, or even a day school, will make your womanhood a sort +of external conscience to your boy, to guard him from those first +beginnings of impurity, in the shape of what are technically called +"secrets," which lead on to all the rest. I know one mother who, from +her boy's earliest years, has made a solemn pact with him, on the one +hand, if he would promise never to ask any questions about life and +birth of anyone but her, she, in her turn, would promise to tell him all +he wanted to know; and from first to last there has been that perfect +confidence and friendship between mother and son which is, and ever must +be, a boy's greatest safeguard. + +Only remember that with young boys men who have had the greatest +experience are generally agreed that it is better not to put the stress +on religious motives. Practically, for a young boy, it is better to +treat the whole thing as dirty, nasty, and blackguardly. And the whole +subject must always be spoken of with reserve, without any emotion, and +with much "dry light." + +With most lads I should go a step further; I should give the boy one of +the White Cross papers, "A Strange Companion."[14] It is impossible to +lay down hard and fast rules; it is impossible to make so many jam-pots +of even young humanity, to be tied up and labelled and arranged upon the +same shelf. Each individuality has to be dealt with in all its +mysterious idiosyncrasy. One boy may be so reserved that it is better to +write to him than to talk face to face; another may find the greatest +possible strength and comfort in freedom of speech and the feeling that +there is no barrier between him and his mother with regard to being able +to tell her freely of any temptations that may assail him. Your mother's +instincts will be your best guide as to what method to adopt with each +of your boys. + +If the father of the lad can be induced, at any rate before he enters a +boarding-school, to follow the advice of that remarkable man, Mr. +Thring, the founder of Uppingham School, in his address to our Church +Congress, and write a letter of plain warning and counsel to the lad, it +would be an unspeakable help. "My first statement," says Mr. Thring, +"is that all fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. It is +not difficult, if done in a common-sense way."[15] + +But now I come to what on all hands we must allow to be a point of +extreme difficulty. I think all head-masters, deeply concerned in the +moral welfare of the boys under their charge, would emphatically endorse +the following words of Dr. Butler's: + + "It is certain, it must needs be, that boys should, at an early + period of their boyhood, come to hear of the nature of sexual + relations. From whom should they first learn it? Should it be with + every accompaniment of coarseness, of levity, of obscenity? From + some ribald groom in the stables? From some impure maidservant who + has stolen into the household and the nursery? From some brother + only a year or two older, who has just received his first + initiation in impurity at a private school and is too young to + understand its danger? Worst of all, from the idlest, and most + corrupt, and most worthless set of boys at this same private + school, who surround the newcomer within a few days, perhaps a few + hours, of his first joining, and, with knowing looks and enticing + words, try to probe his childish knowledge, and leave him + half-ashamed of himself and keenly inquisitive for full initiation, + if he finds that he knows nothing of this engrossing mystery? Is it + right, is it fair, is it consistent with religious duty or with + common-sense, that a little boy of eight, or ten, or twelve, should + be sent at this impressionable age to hear for the first time of + facts of human nature which must ere long be known, and are part of + God's appointment? Does not every dictate of humanity and of reason + point to the conclusion that the dawn of this knowledge should be + invested with all that is tender, and loving, and pure, and sacred, + instead of being shrouded in the mists of innuendo or blazoned + forth in the shamelessness of bestiality? There is really no + answer but one to such a question, and the plain truth is that + fathers, perhaps still more mothers, must recognize the duty which + lies upon them to teach their children, at such times, in such + words, and with such reservations as the character of each child + may suggest, the elements at least of that knowledge which will + otherwise be learnt but a very little later from a widely different + set of instructors. I lay down the principle as admitting of no + exception--I do not anticipate even one dissentient voice from any + who now hear me--_that no boy ought ever to be allowed to go to + school without learning from his father or his mother, or from some + brother or tried friend considerably older than himself the simple + facts as to the laws of birth and the terrible danger of ever + coming to talk of these phenomena as matters of frivolous and + filthy conversation_." + +I can only beseech you to give due weight to these words of one who had +many years' experience of a large public school. Over and over again, at +all my meetings of educated mothers, I have reiterated his question in +similar words, "Is it right, is it fair, that your boy should learn the +sacred mysteries of life and birth from the sources which Dr. Butler +enumerates, and to which you abandon him, if you refuse to speak; +sources of unclean and lying information by which I have no hesitation +in saying that the mind and conscience of many men are more or less +permanently defiled, even when the life has been kept outwardly pure?" +Can you hesitate for one moment to allow that the springs of the life +which you will be the first to acknowledge comes from God should well up +from a pure source, till, like Wordsworth's stream-- + + "Crowned with flowers, + The mountain infant to the sun laughs forth," + +and that the whole subject should be so bound up in the boy's mind with +his father's love for his mother, his mother's love for his father, with +his own existence, and that of his sisters, that he would shrink with +utter loathing from the filthy so-called "secrets" that are bandied +about among schoolboys? I know that the task of conveying this knowledge +presents many difficulties, but again I ask, "What is there in our life +that is worth doing which is not difficult?" Long ago the definition of +a difficulty to me has become "a thing to be overcome." It is not in +sitting down helplessly before a difficulty that the way will open. With +us, as with the Israelites on the brink of that raging midnight sea, it +is in a brave obedience to the Divine command, "Go forward!" that the +path opens through the trackless sea, and we find that the great waters +that seem ready to overwhelm us are in reality a baptism into new life. + + +III + +Again I seem almost to hear the cry of your heart, "I know I ought to +speak to my boy, but how am I to do it?" + +Now, it is here that I earnestly desire to give you, if I possibly can, +some helpful, practical suggestions, for I feel that it is not in the +recognition of a duty, but in its performance, that the difficulty lies +which is arresting so many educated mothers at the present time. + +With very young children, whether girls or boys, there should be no +difficulty whatever. They are too young to understand. Only, when they +come to you asking their innocent little questions as to where the +little baby brother or sister comes from, I would earnestly ask you +never to allow yourself, or your nurse, to inflict on them the usual +popular fables, that the baby was brought by the doctor or that it was +found under the gooseberry-bush. A child is far quicker than we think to +detect that mother is hiding something, and the first tiny seed of evil +curiosity is sown. Make no mystery about it; look your child full in the +face, and say, "My child, you have asked me a question about what is +very, very sacred. If I were to try to explain it to you, you would not +be old enough to understand; for the present you must be content to know +that the baby comes from God; how it comes mother will tell you when you +grow old enough to understand; only promise me that you will never ask +any one but mother about it." The child will then see that you are +hiding nothing, and will be satisfied to wait for the explanation that +mother has promised. + +But what when the child is old enough to understand?--an age which +doubtless varies in different children, but which with boys must come +before their first school, if you are to occupy the ground of his heart +with good seed, which leaves no room for the devil's sowing. + +Well, with regard to the facts of birth, I do not think we ought to find +much difficulty. You can point out how the baby seed has a soft, downy +place provided for it in the pod of the parent plant till it has ripened +and is fit to be sown, when the pod opens and lets it fall to the earth, +and it becomes a plant in its turn. You can point out that the egg in a +similar way is carried in the mother bird's body till the shell has +hardened and is fit to be laid, when she warms it with her own breast, +patiently sitting on it for days, while the father bird feeds her, till +the little chick is strong enough to break the walls of its tiny house, +and come forth and peck and fend for itself. You can explain how the +little kitten the child plays with has in the same way a safe place +provided for it in the mother's body, where it grows and grows till all +its organs are formed, and it can breathe and suck, when, like the seed +from the pod, and the chick from the egg it leaves the mother's body, +and is born, a blind and helpless baby kitten, to be fed and tenderly +cared for by the mother cat. You will explain that the baby comes in +just the same way so far as its infant body is concerned, growing like +the kitten from a tiny cell--borne by the mother till all the organs are +formed which it needs for its earthly life, when it also is born and +laid in its mother's arms, to be nourished and cared for by the love of +both father and mother, not for a few weeks, as with animals, but +through long years of helplessness. And you mean to tell me that the +sacred truth would not endear you to your child far more than the usual +cock-and-bull story about the doctor and the gooseberry-bush? + +A friend of mine has three boys of widely opposite character and +temperament. Owing to circumstances, the eldest lad had to be sent to +school at an early age. Young as he was, she resolved to follow Dr. +Butler's advice and tell him the facts of birth in the way I have +suggested. On realizing the truth, the boy flung his arms round her neck +and burst into tears. But though she felt that she had done right, she +was not wholly without misgivings that she might have introduced some +objectionable talk into her nursery. When the time came to send the +second lad to school, she repeated the talk that she had had with his +elder brother. But to her surprise she found him in total ignorance of +the facts: his elder brother had never confided them to him. And so +again with the third boy. Evidently the boys had considered it too +sacred a thing to talk about--how much too sacred, then, to allow of +their joining in with the unclean gossip of schoolboys! Its only result +was to give them an added tenderness for their mother, and to make them +resent all such unclean talk as so much mud flung at her. + +So far, so good. But we all of us realize that it is not the facts of +birth, but the facts of the origination of life, that form the +perennial source of obscene talk, and often of obscene action, among +boys; and it is in explaining these, without violating those instincts +of reserve and modesty with which nature herself surrounds the whole +subject, that what often seems an insuperable difficulty arises. Yet +these functions are, and must be, the very shrine of a body which is a +temple of the Lord and Giver of life; and on the face of things, +therefore, there must be some method of conveying pure knowledge to the +opening mind with regard to them. The difficulty must be with ourselves, +and not in the very nature of things themselves. + +Has it not been created in a great measure by a wrong method? We begin +with human life instead of ending with it; we isolate it from a great +system to which it belongs, and treat what is "the roof and crown of +things" as a roof that tops no fair edifice, and is therefore anomalous; +as a crown that rests on a head which has been severed from its body, +and is therefore unmeaning. We obstinately refuse to live--to quote +Goethe's words again--not only "in the beautiful and the good," but also +"in the whole," which is equally necessary for a well-ordered life. What +it seems to me we need is to teach the facts of life-giving, or, in +other words, of sex, as a great, wide, open-air law, running right +through animated creation, an ever-ascending progression forming a +golden ladder leading up to man. + +In explaining the facts of reproduction, I would therefore suggest that +you should begin with the lowest rung of the ladder, the simplest +organisms, such as the amoeba or the volvox. I should show how these +multiply by fission, the creature dividing into two, when it is +impossible to tell which is the father and which is the mother. I would +then pass upwards to more complex organisms, where two individuals are +required to form the offspring. You could explain the whole process by +the method of fertilization in plants, as urged in an excellent paper by +a lady doctor, published in the _Parents' Review_.[16] Let me quote her +words: + + "The child can learn the difference of the names, color, and forms + of flowers as soon as it can learn anything. The next step would be + to simple lessons in the different parts of a plant--the vegetative + organs of roots, stem, leaves, passing on to the reproductive + organs in the flower--calyx, corolla, stamen, and pistil. Let the + child be taught to notice that all flowers have not quite the same + organs, some bearing stamens only, which shed the powdery pollen + and are the male, or little father flowers; while others have the + pistil only, furnished with the stigma to catch the pollen, and are + the females, or little mothers; that the one sort of flowers is + necessary to the other in producing the little seed or baby plant." + +Let us take a primrose. Here the mother and father elements are found in +the same flower. At the base of the flower, packed in a delicate casket, +which is called the ovary, lie a number of small white objects no larger +than butterfly-eggs. These are the eggs or ova of the primrose. Into +this casket, by a secret opening, filmy tubes thrown out by the pollen +grains--now enticed from their hiding-place on the stamens and clustered +on the stigma--enter and pour a fertilizing fluid, called "spermatozoa," +through a microscopic gateway, which opens in the wall of the egg and +leads to its inmost heart. The ovule, or future seed, is now fertilized +and capable of producing a future primrose. Covered with many protecting +coats, it becomes a perfect seed. The original casket swells, hardens, +is transformed into a rounded capsule or seed-vessel, opening by valves +or a deftly constructed hinge. One day this seed-vessel, crowded with +seeds, breaks open and completes the cycle of reproduction by dispersing +them over the ground, where they sow themselves, and grow and become +primrose plants in their turn, starring the grass with their lovely +blossoms.[17] + +Sometimes the male and female elements grow upon different plants, as in +the catkins children are so fond of gathering in the spring. + + "More than two thousand years ago Herodotus observed a remarkable + custom in Egypt. At a certain season of the year the Egyptians went + into the desert, cut off branches from the wild palms, and bringing + them back to their gardens, waved them over the flowers of the + date-palm. Why they performed this ceremony they did not know; but + they knew that if they neglected it the date-crop would be poor or + wholly lost. But the true reason is now explained. Palm-trees, + like human beings, are male and female. The garden plants, the date + bearers, were females, the desert plants were males; and the waving + of the branches over the females meant the transference of the + pollen dust from the one to the other."[18] + +From these two elements, the spermatozoa, or male element, and the ova, +or female element, all life, except in the lowest organisms, is +produced. + +You could point out how it is by this marvellous process of +reproduction, not only that the world is made green and beautiful, but +all animal life is fed. Corn and rice, which are only fertilized seeds, +form the staple food of a large proportion of mankind; while even the +animal in order to live has first to be nourished on corn or grass +before it can become meat for man. + +You could go on further to illustrate the facts of reproduction by bees +and ants, so familiar to children, where the drone or male bee, or the +male ant, in just the same way as in the plant, fertilizes the eggs of +the queen bee or ant by bringing the spermatozoa into contact with the +unfertilized egg in the insect's body, when the eggs thus fertilized are +laid and carefully nurtured by the working bee or ant. All children have +observed the little neuter,[19] or working ant, carrying in its +mandibles an egg almost as large as itself with an air of extreme hurry +and absorption, to lay it in the sun till the warmth hatches it into a +baby ant. + +If it were further pointed out that not the male, but the female, as the +mother of the species, is Nature's chief care; that among ants the male +is sent into the world so imperfectly endowed that he cannot even feed +himself, but is fed by his female relations, and that as soon as he has +performed his function of fertilizing the queen ant, Nature apparently +dismisses him with contemptuous starvation; or--to take the case of the +drone or male bee--he is stung to death by the workers, it might help to +modify the preposterous pretensions of the male, especially of the boy, +in higher circles. + +You could then pass upwards through fish with the soft and hard roe, or +male and female elements which are familiar to children, and through +frogs with their spawn to birds. Here comes in an upward step indeed. "A +world that only cared for eggs becomes," as Professor Drummond observes +in his _Ascent of Man,_ "a world that cares for its young." The first +faint trembling dawn, or at least shadowing forth, of a moral life, in +the care of the strong for the weak, makes itself seen, which henceforth +becomes as pervasive an element in Nature as the fierce struggle for +existence in which the weak are destroyed by the strong.[20] + +In the bird--till now "the free queen of the air," living at her own +wild will, suddenly fettered and brooding on her nest, and covering her +helpless young with her tender wings--we see some faint image of the +Divine tenderness. In the ceaseless toil of both the parent birds from +morning till night to fill the little gaping throats we begin to feel +the duty of the strong to serve and protect the weak; and in the little +hen partridge, still clinging to her nest, when the flash of the scythe +is drawing nearer and nearer, till reapers have told me they have feared +the next sweep of the scythe might cut off her head, we see more than a +shadow of that mother's love which is stronger than death. And when we +pass lastly to the highest order of animals, the mammalia, we find them +named after the mother's function of giving suck to her young from her +own breast. They are no longer matured in an external egg, but are borne +in her own body till they are able to breathe, and seek their +nourishment from her, and then they are born so helpless that, as with +kittens and puppies, they often cannot even see. + +In this higher order of animals nothing can exceed the devotion of the +mother to her young in their helpless infancy. The fierce bear will +recklessly expose her shaggy breast to the hunter in their defence. +Here, too, we find, as the Duke of Argyle points out in his book on _The +Unity of Nature_, + + "that the equality of the sexes, as regards all the enjoyments as + well as the work of life, is the universal rule; and among those of + them in which the social instincts have been especially implanted, + and whose systems of polity are like the most civilized polities of + men, the females of the race are treated with a strange mixture of + love, loyalty, and devotion." + +"Man" as the Duke says, "is the Great Exception," and has been defined +as the only animal that ill-treats and degrades his female. + +And when at length we come to the topmost step, "the roof and crown of +things,"--Man, as you have already explained the physical facts of +life-giving on the plane of plants, and ants, and bees, where they can +excite no feeling of any kind, you will have no need to go over them +again, but will find yourself free to express the physical in terms of +the moral. Man, as a spiritual being, incarnate in an animal body, takes +this great law of sex which we have seen running through the animated +creation, and lifts it into the moral and the spiritual. The physical +love which in animals only lasts for the brief time that is needed for +the production and rearing of offspring--becomes in him a love which +"inhabiteth eternity," and unites him to the mother of his children in +the indissoluble union of marriage. His fatherhood becomes the very +representative of the Father in heaven. The mother becomes the very type +and image of the Love that has loved us with more than a mother's love, +borne with us with more than a mother's patience, suffered for us, in +the Cross and Passion, more than a mother's pangs, to bring us into a +higher life. The love of brothers and sisters becomes the first faint +beginning of the universal Church and the brotherhood of man; and the +sweet babble of their voices grows choral at length in the songs of the +Church triumphant, the unbroken family in heaven; while the Christian +home shadows forth the eternal home which awaits us hereafter.[21] + +The only warning you would have to give your boy would be to point out +that, as a cathedral takes longer to build than a shanty, so the human +body, which is meant to be the temple of the "Lord and Giver of life," +takes much longer to mature than an animal's. Many an animal lives and +dies of old age in the fourteen years that leave man still an immature +boy. And you must earnestly impress upon him that the whole of this part +of his nature which you have been explaining to him as a great law +running through animated creation and finding its highest uses in Man, +must be left to mature itself in absolute rest and quiet. All premature +use of it is fatal to perfect health of soul and body. The less he +thinks of it, and the more he thinks of his work and his athletics, the +better for him. Above all, you hope, now that he knows the truth and his +curiosity is satisfied, he will loathe all filthy jests and stories +about that which is the source of all beautiful living things on the +pleasant earth and, in his own little world, of all happy family life +and innocent home love and joy. + +Let me quote here, in conclusion, a little poem, called "The Golden +Ladder," which seems to me to embody some of the teaching of this +exquisite page of the illuminated Word of Creation, which man has so +blotted and defiled with his obscenities, but which to "open hearts and +love-lit eyes" is the spring of all that is highest--the birth of the +moral and the cradle of the divine. + + "When torn with Passion's insecure delights, + By Love's dear torments, ceaseless changes worn, + As my swift sphere full twenty days and nights + Did make, ere one slow morn and eve were born; + + "I passed within the dim, sweet world of flowers, + Where only harmless lights, not hearts, are broken, + And weep out the sweet-watered summer showers-- + World of white joys, cool dews, and peace unspoken; + + "I started, even there among the flowers, + To find the tokens mute of what I fled-- + Passions, and forces, and resistless powers, + That have uptorn the world and stirred the dead. + + "In secret bowers of amethyst and rose, + Close wrapped in fragrant golden curtains laid, + Where silver lattices to morn unclose, + The fairy lover clasps his flower-maid. + + "Ye blessed children of the jocund day! + What mean these mysteries of love and birth? + Caught up like solemn words by babes at play, + Who know not what they babble in their mirth. + + "Or of one stuff has some Hand made us all, + Baptized us all in one great sequent plan, + Where deep to ever vaster deep may call, + And all their large expression find in Man? + + "Flowers climb to birds, and birds and beasts to Man, + And Man to God, by some strong instinct driven; + And so the golden ladder upward ran, + Its foot among the flowers, its top in heaven. + + "All lives Man lives; of matter first then tends + To plants, an animal next unconscious, dim, + A man, a spirit last, the cycle ends,-- + Thus all creation weds with God in him. + + "And if he fall, a world in him doth fall, + All things decline to lower uses; while + The golden chain that bound the each to all + Falls broken in the dust, a linkless pile. + + "And Love's fair sacraments and mystic rite + In Nature, which their consummation find, + In wedded hearts, and union infinite + With the Divine, of married mind with mind, + + Foul symbols of an idol temple grow, + And sun-white Love is blackened into lust, + And man's impure doth into flower-cups flow, + And the fair Kosmos mourneth in the dust. + + O Thou, out-topping all we know or think, + Far off yet nigh, out-reaching all we see, + Hold Thou my hand, that so the top-most link + Of the great chain may hold, from us to Thee; + + "And from my heaven-touched life may downward flow + Prophetic promise of a grace to be; + And flower, and bird, and beast, may upward grow, + And find their highest linked to God in me." + +Possibly you will say at once, "Oh, my boy has no taste for natural +history, and he would take no interest in this kind of thing." All the +better his finding it a bit dry--it will rid the subject of some of its +dangerous attraction. I have yet to find the boy for whom the Latin +Grammar has the least interest; but we do not excuse him on that ground +from grinding at it. Whether he takes an interest in it or not, you have +to teach him that he has got to know about these things before going to +school, to guard him from the danger of having all sorts of false, and +often foul, notions palmed off on him. I do not say that pure knowledge +will necessarily save, but I do say that the pitcher which is full of +clear spring-water has no room for foul. I do say that you have gained a +great step, if in answer to the offer of enlightenment which he is +certain to receive, you have enabled your boy to acquit himself of the +rough objurgation--forgive me for putting it in schoolboy language: "Oh, +hold your jaw! I know all about that, and I don't want any of your rot." +I do say that early associations are most terribly strong, and if you +will secure that those early associations with regard to life and birth +shall be bound up with all the sanctities of life--with home, with his +mother, with family, with all that is best and highest in life; then his +whole attitude in life will be different. But if these early +associations are linked with all that is false and foul, some subtle +odor of the sewer will still cling about the heart of the shrine, a +nameless sense of something impure in the whole subject; an undefinable +something in his way of looking at it, which has often made the purity +of men--blameless in their outer life--- sadden and perplex me almost as +much as the actions and words of confessedly impure men. + + +IV + +But, whatever is the importance I attach to pure teaching, I return to +my old position, that purity is an attitude of soul, or, perhaps I ought +to say, the "snowy bloom" of the soul's perfect health, rather than +anything you can embody in moral maxims or pure knowledge--that perfect +bloom of spiritual health which may be as much the result of a mother's +watchful care and training as the physical health of the body. It is for +you to train your boy in that knightly attitude of soul, that reverence +for womanhood, which is to men as "fountains of sweet water" in the +bitter sea of life; that chivalrous respect for the weak and the +unprotected which, next to faith in God, will be the best guard to all +the finer issues of his character. Truth of truth are the golden words +of Ruskin to young men: + + "Whomsoever else you deceive, whomsoever else you injure, + whomsoever else you leave unaided, you must not deceive, nor + injure, nor leave unaided according to your power any woman + whatever, of whatever rank. Believe me, every virtue of the highest + phase of manly character begins and ends in this, in truth and + modesty before the face of all maidens, in truth and reverence or + truth and pity to all womanhood." + +Can we doubt or question this, we who worship Him who came to reveal the +true man quite as much as to reveal the only true God--the real manhood +beneath the false, perishable man with which it is so often overlaid by +the influence of society and the world? Look at His attitude towards +women, ay, even Eastern women, who had not been ennobled by centuries of +Christian freedom and recognized equality of the sexes, but who, on the +contrary, belonged to a nation tainted to some degree with that Eastern +contempt for women which made a Hindu answer the question of the +Englishman, perplexed by the multiplied of Indian gods and sects, "Is +there _no_ point of belief in which you all unite?" "Oh, yes," the +Pundit replied, "we all believe in the sanctity of cows and the +depravity of women!" + +These Eastern women, therefore, had much to enslave and lower them; but +see how instantly they rose to the touch of the true Man, just as they +will rise, the women of to-day, to the touch of the true manhood of your +sons, if you will train them to be to us such men as Jesus Christ was. +See how He made women His friends, and deigned to accept their ministry +to His human needs. Many severe rebukes are recorded from His lips to +men, but not one to a woman. It was a woman, ay, even a degraded woman, +who by her kisses and her tears smote the Rock of Ages and the water of +life flowed forth for the world, who won for the world the words: "He +who hath been forgiven much loveth much," and the burden of guilt is +changed into the burden of Love. It was to a woman He first gave the +revelation of life, that He first revealed Himself as the Water of Life, +and first uttered the words, "I am the Resurrection and the Life." It +was women who remained faithful when all forsook Him and fled. It was a +woman who was the last to whom He spoke on the cross, to a woman that +the first words were spoken of His risen life. It was a woman He made +His first messenger of the risen life to the world. Nothing in the life +of the true Man on earth stands out in more marked features than, if I +may venture to use the words, His faith in women, as if to stamp it +forever as an attribute of all true manhood, that without which a man +cannot be a man. + +Now, side by side with this attitude of the true Man, this perfect +loyalty to all womanhood as such, ay, even degraded womanhood, place the +present debased attitude of men, even of some Christian men, which we +are looking to you mothers of boys to change _in toto_. Is not a +powerful writer in the _Westminster Review_ right when he says, "There +is not found a chivalrous respect for womanhood as such. That a woman +has fallen is not the trumpet call to every noble and wise-hearted man +to raise her up again as speedily as may be; rather it is the signal to +deepen her degradation and to doom her to moral death." Is it not a +received code even among Americans as well as Englishmen that if a woman +knows how to respect and protect herself men are to respect her--it is +only a scoundrel that will dare to say an insulting word to her? But if +she is a bit fast and giddy, if she has little or no respect for +herself, if her foolish feet have slipped ever so little, then she is +fair game. "She gave him encouragement; what else could she expect? It +was her own fault." To expect that any man with an ounce of true manhood +in him would at once say, "That young girl does not in the least realize +the danger she is in, and I must get between her and the edge of the +precipice, and see that she comes to no harm."--this would be to expect +the wildly impossible. Have we not made up our mind that the beast and +not the Christ is our master here; and does not every beast spring at +once on a fallen prey? It is human nature, and you will never get men +to think and act any differently. As to faith in man as such, not only +in the church-going man, but in the rough-spoken fisherman, the +contemned publican, the infidel Samaritan, faith in his power of +recognizing and rising to the truth, the higher standard placed before +him, _that_ I sometimes think lies buried in that Eastern garden--in the +Sepulchre "wherein never man yet lay."[22] And yet it is the man as +revealed in Jesus Christ, not the man as fashioned by the world, with +its low traditions and low public opinion, that is true to human nature. +In moments of excitement or danger he reverts to this true nature, which +has been so warped and overlaid by the world. In the great mass meetings +which I held for the purpose of pleading with men to come over on my +side and help me in the work of saving women from the awful doom to +which men sentence them, I used to bring this home by saying to them: +"If a fire were to break out in this vast hall, who would be the first +person that you would try to save? It would be me because I am a woman"; +and the roar of assent that burst forth from all parts of the building +showed that I had struck home. I used to bring before them--and the +sooner you bring it before your boys the better--the conduct of the men +on the ill-fated _Birkenhead_--ah! dear men, voiceless and nameless, +and lost in that "vast and wandering grave" into which they sank, what +have they not done to raise the tone of England? You will possibly +remember that the _Birkenhead_, with a troop of our soldiers on board, +struck and foundered not far from land. The women and children were at +once crowded into the boats, and it was only when, in a few minutes, the +ship began to settle that the cry was heard among the men, "To the +boats! to the boats! every man for himself!" But the officer in command +stood up and shouted, "What! and swamp the women and children? Die +rather!" And those men did die. Drawn up in military array, without +moving a muscle, those men sank into the bitter waters of death, that +the women and children might live.[23] That I contend is man's true +nature, to love the woman, and, if needs be, to give himself for her. + +It is, therefore, to recognize and strengthen this true nature of man, +to get it deeper into him, and not to get it out of him, as I cannot but +feel we have hitherto more or less done, to train your boys in this +perfect loyalty to all womanhood as such; and to send forth men into +the world to "die rather" than save themselves at the cost of a woman, +to "die rather" than drive a woman down into those deep waters of +degradation and death, that we look to the mothers of the future as the +sole hope of the world. I say again you have got to see that they learn +in relation to their own sisters what they have to practise towards all +women, however humble, ay, and however degraded, in their future life. +As the great English oaks are built up of tiny cells, so this true +manliness must be built up by a mother's watchful use of a thousand +small daily incidents--by what Wordsworth rightly calls the best part of +a good man's life-- + + "His little daily, unremembered acts + Of kindness and of love." + +In themselves they seem almost too trivial to mention:--the easy chair +instinctively given up on the sister's entrance; the door opened for any +woman passing out; the cap removed in the presence of ladies, even +though those ladies are his own relatives; the deck-chair taken out by +the seaside to make the mother comfortable; the favorite cricket-match +given up if an expedition has been fixed in which his services are +needed; the window raised and the door shut on leaving a +railway-carriage in which women are travelling, so as not to expose them +to draught; and, when men-servants are not kept, the sister's bicycle +cleaned or the skates polished--all those "little daily, unremembered +acts" of knightly service which the mere presence of a woman ought to +inspire in a man. + +I am well aware that here again, as Mr. Philip Hamerton points out, the +boarding-school presents a difficulty. As he says, "The worst of the +distant school system is that it deprives the home residence that +remains of all beneficial discipline; for the boys are guests during the +holidays, and the great business is to amuse them."[24] + +But surely this needs only to be mentioned to be remedied. You do not +make your boys happier during their holidays by making them selfish: +what is really a novelty to a schoolboy, fresh from the association with +boys only, is to have sisters to look after and a mother to depend upon +him for all sorts of little services. A joyous exclamation on your part, +"Oh, what a comfort it is to have a boy in the house to do things for +one!" will make him swell with manly pride; and should he show the least +tendency to put upon his sisters and make them fetch and carry for him, +as they are only too willing to do, you can easily put a stop to that by +a few caustic remarks that you don't want savages in your house; and a +pointed use of that delightful story in one of the White Cross +papers,[25] of the Zulu chief to whom the Government sent a propitiatory +present of wagons and wheelbarrows, thinking that it would be sure to +please him. But he gazed on them with fine scorn, exclaiming: "What's +the use of those things for carrying our burdens when we have plenty of +women!" Or you can use that equally good story, told by Sir John Lubbock +at a sectional meeting of the British Association for the Promotion of +Science, of a remote tribe of savages who had never seen a bullock, and +when the white man arrived with his bullock wagons, after much perplexed +discussion, they came to the conclusion that, as they were used for +heavy loads, they must be the white man's wives! + +A little wholesome, if incisive, raillery on your part will quickly +extinguish any tendency to make willing slaves of his sisters. If, +however, you prefer to indulge your foolish fondness for him, that +subtle self-indulgence which makes it easier for you to sacrifice +yourself and his sisters to him rather than discipline him to work out +his true nature, remember you gratify yourself at his most cruel cost. +You produce the boy whose youth is marked by a tacit contempt for girls +and whose manhood will be disfigured by a light estimation of the beauty +and sanctity of womanhood. + +I know well I shall be told that all this is quite out of date; that +modern girls are so independent that they stand in no need of brothers, +but like to place themselves on a level with them and share as good +comrades in all their rough-and-tumble games. Let us be of good cheer. +Sex is a very ancient institution, the slow evolution of hundreds of +centuries, and is in no danger of being obliterated by the fashion of a +day. Take the most advanced "new woman"; yes, concealed under that +virile shirt-front, unchoked by that manly necktie and turned-up collar, +lurking beneath that masculine billy-cock; nay, hidden somewhere deeper +down than the pockets of even those male knickerbockers, you will find +the involuntary pleasurable thrill at a strong man's chivalrous +attention, the delicious sense of a man's care and protection, which +centuries and centuries of physical weakness have woven into the very +tissues of her being, in however loud and strident a voice she may deny +it. Whatever changes in the position of women may take place, the basic +fact remains, and will always remain, the man is stronger than the +woman, and his strength is given him to serve the weaker; and you have +got to get your girls to be your fellow-helpers in developing all that +is best and most chivalrous in their brothers, and not so to run riot in +their independence as to substitute a boyish camaraderie for the +exquisite relations of the true man to the true woman. + +There rises up now before me a boy, one of those delightful English boys +overflowing with pluck and spirits. His mother had come to one of my +meetings, and, like so many other mothers, I am thankful to say, had +received a lifelong impression from what I said with regard to the +training of boys, and she resolved, there and then, to act upon my +advice with her own boys. She told me some two years after, that this +boy had come in late one afternoon and explained to her that a little +girl had asked him to direct her to rather an out-of-the-way house. "I +thought she might ask that question of some one who would tell her +wrong, or that she might come to some harm, so I thought I had better go +with her and see her safe to the house." "But what of the cricket-match +that you wanted so to see?" his mother asked. "Oh, I had to give that +up. There wasn't time for both." + +On another occasion, when a Christmas-tree was being prepared in the +schoolroom for some choristers, as he and his mother left at dusk a +chorister tried to force himself past her and gain a private view; and +when she refused him admittance, not recognizing who she was, called her +a very disrespectful name. Instantly the boy flew at him like a little +tiger, "How dare you speak to my mother like that!" "I didn't see it was +your mother," the chorister pleaded, trying to ward off the blows. "But +you saw it was a woman, and somebody's mother, and you dare to speak to +her like that!" And such a storm of fisticuffs fell on every part of +that hulking young chorister's person as forced him at last to cry for +mercy and promise that he would never do so again. That boy's master +wrote to his mother towards the end of his school-time--he was a +Bluecoat boy--and said that he positively dreaded his leaving, as his +influence on the side of everything good, and pure, and high was quite +that of a master. + +And now I come to the question of religious teaching, which you may be +surprised that I have not put first of all. First of all, in one sense, +I do put it. There can be no greater safeguard to purity of life than +vital religion. I do not go so far as some evangelical mothers who have +told me that nothing less than the conversion of their boys would be of +the least avail to keep them morally straight; on the contrary, I have +known men who have never come under any strong religious influence, but +have grown up sceptical scientific men, yet who have led lives as pure +as any woman's. Common manhood, with the "Light that lighteth every man +that cometh into the world"; common love for mother and sister, which +for their sakes maketh it impossible to wrong their womanhood, even when +fallen into the dust; common self-respect, which is so strong in some +men, and makes them shrink from anything in the nature of mud, is often +sufficient to accomplish this end. But still, when all is said, if in +answer to your mother's prayers you can implant in your boy a sense of +the Divine Presence and the cry of the quickened conscience, "How can I +do this great sin and wickedness against God?" you have doubtless given +him the best panoply against the fiery darts of temptation. Only I would +again warn you that there must be no forcing of the religious emotions, +no effort to gather the fruits of the spirit before the root, in the +shape of the great cardinal virtues everywhere presupposed in Christian +ethics, has been nourished, and strengthened, and watered into strong, +healthy growth. We have to bear in mind our Lord's words, which it seems +to me religious parents sometimes forget, that there is an order of +growth in spiritual things as in natural--first the blade, then the ear, +and then the full corn in the ear; and we are not to try to force the +full corn in the ear before the stalk and the blade have grown. For the +want of laying to heart these words of the great Teacher, I have known +much pulpy, emotional religion engrafted on young souls--admirably +adapted to exhaust the soil, but with the smallest possible bearing upon +right conduct; a religion perfectly at its ease with much scamping of +lessons and hard work in general; indulgent of occasional cribbing, and +of skilful manipulation of awkward truth, of betting and small +extravagances; and innocent of all sense of dishonesty in allowing a +struggling parent to pay large sums for education while the school-time +so purchased, often at the cost of home comforts and pleasant outings, +is squandered in idleness. + +What a boy really needs, and, indeed, all immature things--for I found +it equally true of immature men--is a simple, practical religion, based +more on the facts of life and conscience than on doctrines and dogmas. +To know God as his Father; to know that he has a Redeemer who laid down +His life to save him from sin and who takes account of his smallest and +most broken effort to do what is right; to realize that it is only so +far as he is like Christ and in Christ that he can be really a man and +work out what is highest in him; to know that he has been baptized into +a Divine Society, binding him to fight against all wrong, both within +and in the world without; above all, to know that there is a supreme +spiritual Power within him and about him to enable him to do right, and +that in the line of duty "I can't" is a lie in the lips that repeat, "I +believe in the Holy Ghost"; this is as much as his young soul can +assimilate, not as mere religious phrases, but as realities to live by. + + "So nigh to glory is our dust, + So nigh to God is man, + When duty whispers low 'Thou must,' + The soul replies, 'I can.'" + +But see that beneath all this he has the special Christian teaching with +regard to the sanctity of the body thoroughly instilled into him. If the +Incarnation means anything, it means not the salvation and +sanctification of a ghost, but the salvation and consecration of the +whole man, of his body as well as his soul. True, the animal body to a +spiritual being must always be a "body of humiliation," but nothing can +be more unfortunate and misleading than the epithet in the Authorized +Version of "vile" as a translation of the Greek word used by St. Paul. +On the contrary, we are taught that even this mortal body is a temple of +the Holy Ghost. + +In teaching this there can be no difficulty; you can make use of a +child's natural reverence for a church. You can say, "What would you +think if you heard of some loose lads breaking into a church, and just +for the fun of the thing strewing the aisles with cinder dust and all +sorts of loose rubbish; tearing out the pages of Bibles and hymn-books +to light their pipes, and getting drunk out of the chalice? You would be +honestly shocked at such profanity. Nay, even in the dire exigencies of +war we do not think better of the Germans for having stabled their +horses in one of the French churches and left their broken beer-bottles +on the high altar and the refuse of a stable strewn up and down the +nave. Yet a church is, after all, only a poor earthly building, built by +human hands. But there is one temple which God has built for Himself, +the temple of man's body; and of that the terrible words are written, +and ever fulfilled, "If any man defile that temple, him will God +destroy." God's great gift of speech is not to be defiled by dirty talk, +by profane language, by lies, or evil speaking. The organs which are +given us for its sustenance are not to be denied by gluttony and +piggishness, either in food or drink. The boy is not to use any part of +his body in defiling ways which he would be ashamed for his own mother +to know of. To do so is not only to defile, but--with the double meaning +of the Greek word, which we cannot render into English--to destroy; to +weaken his brain-power, which he wants for his work in life, to weaken +his nervous system, lessening his strength thereby and rendering him +less able to excel in athletics, and often, if carried to excess, in +after-life bringing results which are the very embodiment of the +terrible words, "Him will God destroy." The full force and bearing of +this teaching he may not apprehend. I have already said that with a +young boy the lower appeal never to do anything that is low and dirty +and blackguardly will have far more practical weight, and will also +avoid laying undue stress on the religious emotions. But I am quite sure +that the Christian teaching of the sanctity of the body must be laid +deep and strong with all the force of early impression in a boy's inmost +being, in order that it may lie ready for future use when Nature has +developed those instincts of manhood which will teach him its full +significance. + +If you are an Episcopalian, you will of course find the time of your +boy's confirmation simply invaluable as one of those turning-points +which will enable you to speak, or possibly write, more unreservedly +than is possible on more ordinary occasions. I would earnestly ask you +to give him a little White Cross confirmation paper called _Purity the +Guard of Manhood_, a paper which an Eton master pronounced the best +thing he had met with of the kind, and which has been widely used. Do +not rest content with merely giving the paper in a perfunctory way, but +follow it up with a few living, earnest words of your own. + +Of course I should do a wrong to your womanly instincts if I were to +think it necessary to say that the inculcation of purity must be always +in a mother's heart, but only on her lips on some marked occasions, such +as the first going to school, the last day of the holidays, or when your +boy himself gives the occasion by some question he may ask you, but +above all when he reaches a critical age, when a few words from your own +lips will be worth all the printed pages in the world. Only ever and +always make it an essential element of his idea of manliness to be pure, +and do not forget constantly to couple the words "brave and pure," or +"manly and pure," or "pure and high character," in his hearing; that he +may be endued, not with that pale, emasculate thing that passes muster +for purity nowadays, which always seems to me chiefly conscious of its +own indecency, full of the old nervous "touch not, taste not, handle +not" spirit, bandaged up with this restriction and that lest it fall to +pieces, and when it comes to saving another from defilement in body and +soul shuffling uneasily into a pair of lavender kid-gloves and muttering +something about its being "such a very delicate subject"--nay, not +this, but that militant sun-clad power which Milton dreamed of, rushing +down like a sword of God to smite everything low, and base and impure; a +purity as of mountain water or living fire, whose very nature it is, not +only to be pure itself, but to destroy impurity in others. + + +V + +And now let me throw together two or three practical suggestions, which +will probably be superfluous to the most experienced mothers, but may be +useful to younger and more inexperienced parents. + +In the first place, I think there are few of the heads of the medical +profession who would not agree with me that our English dietary is too +stimulating and too abundant. Sir Andrew Clark certainly held that a +large proportion of our diseases spring from over-eating and +over-drinking. I don't suppose that for a boy it so much matters, as he +is eating for "edification" as well as for sustenance, for the building +up of his walls as well as for the nutrition of his existing frame. But +"the boy is father to the man," and I would ask you not to accustom your +boys to a rich dietary, as the habit once formed will be prolonged into +early manhood, and undoubtedly such stimulating diet does greatly +increase the temptations with which young men have to contend. It is +perfectly unnecessary for the developing of strength and stature, as is +shown by the splendid Scotchmen who yearly carry off some of our highest +university distinctions and prizes--many of them farmer lads who have +scarcely tasted meat in their boyhood, but have been brought up on the +simple farinaceous food of the country. There was much force and meaning +in the quaint congratulatory telegram sent by a friend to a Cambridge +Senior Wrangler hailing from Scotland, "Three cheers for the parritge!" +And that curious and most impressive fact which Mr. Bayard, the late +American Ambassador, hunted up for our edification from various +dictionaries of biography--the fact, namely, that a large proportion of +our most eminent men spring from the homes of the poorer clergy, where +certainly sumptuous fare and much meat do not obtain, is a proof that +abstemious living, while forming a valuable discipline for the soul, +does not injure but promotes the health of the body and the strength of +the brain. Our having given up the religious uses of fasting I often +think is a loss to young men; and it might, therefore, be as well if we +were to imitate our "Corybantic" brethren, the Salvationists, and +institute a week of self-denial, leaving the children to work out an +economical dietary, with due care on our part that it should be fairly +nutritious, and allowing them to give what they have saved from the +ordinary household expenses to any cause in which they may be +interested. It would give them a wholesome lesson in self-denial and +cheap living; both lessons much needed in these luxurious days. But +whether this suggestion finds favor or not, we have always to bear in +mind that "plain living" is the necessary companion of "high +thinking"--the lowly earth-born twin who waits upon her heavenly sister. + +On the vexed question of the use of alcohol there was but one point on +which there was a consensus of opinion in the discussion by our leading +medical men, which appeared some years ago in the pages of the +_Contemporary Review_. The point upon which they were all agreed was +that alcohol is injurious to children, and if the boy has been +accustomed from his early youth to do without it, and, as he grows up, +remains a total abstainer, there is no question that his abstinence will +prove a great safeguard; though I cannot go as far as some of my +abstaining friends, who seem to regard the use of alcohol as the root of +what must, in the nature of things, be one of the strongest primal +passions of human nature, and therefore liable to abuse, whether men are +total abstainers or not. Anyhow, though a lad can be trained to strict +moderation, abstinence in both alcohol and tobacco must after a time +come of the lad's own free will; the last thing that answers is to +multiply and enforce restrictions; the rebound is inevitable and often +fatal. But I do say that where there is a great pinching in the home in +order to afford the educational advantages of school and university, it +does show some radical defect in the training of our boys that they +should indulge in such expensive habits, especially the expensive and +wholly unnecessary habit of smoking, when the dear mother and young +sisters are doing without many a little home comfort in order to meet +the expense of the young rascal's education. One rich old grandmother +whom I met abroad promised each of her grandsons fifty pounds if they +would give up smoking; and it was marvellous how that stern necessity of +doing as other young men do disappeared like their own tobacco smoke +before the promise of that fifty pounds for their own pockets! They were +all able to claim it one after the other. If boys were not trained by +their mothers to be systematically selfish, might not the home-claims in +the heart be as strong as those fifty pounds in the pocket? + +Secondly, with regard to betting and gambling, which may be classed with +drinking, as the fruitful parent of bad company, and a _descensus ad +infernum_:--do you not think a boy may be best guarded against a habit +of betting, which is so likely to lead on to gambling, by taking the +same line as a boy of my acquaintance took with his mother when she was +warning him against it: "Well, mother, you see, it always does seem so +mean to me to get a fellow's money from him without giving him anything +in return; it always does seem so like prigging, and some of our fellows +are awfully hard up, and can't afford to lose a penny." Mr. Gladstone +was evidently of the same opinion when he once said to his private +secretary, Sir Edward Hamilton, that he "regarded gambling as nothing +short of damnable. What can be the fun of winning other people's money?" +This strikes me as a way of putting it which would appeal most forcibly +to a boy; and if, in addition, we were to point out to him that, like +all shady things, it has a tendency to grow and sharpen the man into a +sharper and develop the blood-sucking apparatus of a leech, besides +bringing wretchedness and misery on others, he might be led to resist +the first beginnings of a betting habit which may lead on to gambling in +after years. + +And here I would say that the absolute absence of any training given to +a boy in the right use and value of money, which has obtained till +lately in our English schools, is surely suicidal and must lend itself +to every form of abuse. I do not know whether it is the same with you, +but many of our boys know money only in the form of pocket-money, when +it becomes to him a metal token mostly signifying so much "tuck"; +becoming, as he grows older, more and more deleterious "tuck" in the +shape of billiards, betting, etc., and ending in a general going "on +tick," which is worse still. But in this matter we are improving. I +think most sensible parents nowadays place a small sum at their bank to +the boy's account, with a check-book, making him responsible at first +for small articles of clothing, neckties, shirt-collars, etc, and as +soon as he shows himself trustworthy, for all his expenses except +school bills. The boy is expected to keep accounts, get nothing without +first asking the price, and to bring his receipted bills at the end of +the term to his father, and see that they tally with his foils; and, +above all, always to pay in ready money--unpaid bills being contemplated +in the bald light of shop-lifting. To this I would add, if possible, the +habit of giving the Jewish tenth, so as to make giving a steady +principle, and not a hap-hazard impulse. + +Thirdly, it is a vital point to give your boys interesting pursuits. +There is great force in the rough old saying, "Never give the devil an +empty chair to sit down upon, and you won't be much troubled with his +company." Vice is constantly only idleness which has turned +bad,--idleness being emphatically a thing that will not keep, but turns +rotten. It is not the great industrial centres of our population that +are chiefly ravaged by vice; it is the fashionable watering-places, the +fashionable quarters of large towns, where idle men congregate, in which +it is a "pestilence that walketh in darkness," and slays its thousands +of young girls. "Empty by filling," has always been a favorite motto of +mine. How many a young man has been driven to betting, drinking, and the +race-course from the want of something of interest to fill his +unoccupied hours, because more wholesome tastes have never been +developed in him! Of course, tastes must be to a certain degree inborn, +but I am quite sure that many a taste perishes, like a frost-bitten bud, +full of the promise of blossom and fruit, because it has never been +given the opportunity to develop. + +Take a boy's innate love of collecting. Could you not develop it by the +offer of a little prize for the best collection of dried flowers, of +butterflies or insects, of birds' eggs, even, in some cases, of +geological specimens, but, in any case, with the scientific and common +names attached; so forming a healthy taste for natural history, which +may be a source of perpetual interest and profit in after-life? Do not +let your dislike of destroying life interfere; reverence for life can be +as well, nay, better taught by insisting that only the necessary +specimens should be given of each species, only one or two eggs taken +from the nest, and the nest itself disturbed as little as possible. +Chemistry and electricity also appeal to a boy's love of experimentizing +and of making electrical contrivances, easily constructed of the +commonest materials. As to hand-work, the lack of which in ill-health +has made so many a man a torment both to himself and others, there ought +to be no difficulty with regard to that. Carpentering, wood-carving, +repousse-work in metal, bent-iron work, mosaic work, any of these, +except possibly the last, may be set on foot with very little expense, +besides drawing, modelling, etc. Where there are sufficient means it +would be a good thing if boys were taught, as far as may be, how things +are made and the amount of toil that goes into the simplest article. I +remember giving a small printing-press to a boy of ours--an excellent +gift, by the by, for a lad, and it can be had for five or six +shillings--and his coming to me soon after with a match-box in his hand, +exclaiming with wonderment, "Why, auntie, there are six different kinds +of type on this match-box!" If they could learn how to build, how +rafters and joists are put in, and construct as much as a miniature +summer-house in the garden, how useful this being able to turn their +hands to anything might prove to them in their after-life. And with what +added respect they would look upon all labor if they had never looked +upon it as the part of a "gentleman" to stand aloof from it. + +Lastly, but not least, I would plead most earnestly for the frequent +home-letter, should your boy be sent to a boarding-school. If you would +have him resist the temptations of school life, keep the home as close +to his heart and as present to his mind as you can. Make it your first +and paramount duty to write every day if you can, if not every other +day, at least twice a week. + +Do not misunderstand me here. God knows I do not go in for the devoted +mother who thinks of nothing but her boys and to whom the whole world +besides is nothing but an empty flourish of the pen about their names. +Such mothers are like Chinese teacups, with no perspective and +everything out of proportion; where the Mandarin is as big as the +Pagoda, and suffers from a pathetic inability to get in at his own door. +You must see things in moral perspective in order to train character on +large and noble lines. And it is from the rough quarry of the outside +world, with its suffering and sin, that you must fetch the most precious +stones for the building up of true manhood or womanhood. The sooner +children are taught that their small concerns must be subordinated at +times to the needs of the sick, the poor, and the suffering, the better +for them. For a mother, therefore, to undertake _some_ outside work may +and will prove the best element in their education, enabling them in +their turn to live in relation with the world in which God has placed +them and do their part in the service of humanity. + +All that I mean is, do not so crowd your life with outside work or +social engagements as to have no time to spare for this daily or at +least bi-weekly letter to the boys at school. Bear in mind that the most +important work you can do for the world is the formation of noble +character, building it up stone by stone as you alone can do. Do not be +too busy to make yourself your boy's friend and throw yourself heartily +into all that interests him. I have known philanthropic mothers to whom +cricket was nothing but an unmeaning scurrying backwards and forwards, +and who scarcely knew the stern of a boat from its bows! + +And what a liberal education a mother's home-letters to her boys at +school might be made! The stirring incident in the newspapers, the fine +passage in the book, a verse or two of a noble poem, as well as all the +loving thought and prayer that is for ever flying like homing birds to +the dear absent lads, and the inculcation of all things lovely and pure +and manly, brightened by home jokes and the health of the last cherished +pet--all these things might go to make up the home letters. Above all, +what an opportunity it would give for pleading the cause of the little +chaps who, by some strange insanity working in the brain of the British +parent, are sent into the rough world of a large school when they are +fitter for the nursery, and whom you might appeal to your boys to look +after and protect, so far as they are able; and not only these, but to +side with every boy who is being bullied for acting up to his conscience +or because he has not the pluck to stand up for himself. + +In conclusion, I would earnestly ask you to believe in your own power +when united to the knowledge which is necessary to direct it. "A man is +what a woman makes him," says the old saw. Look back upon the men you +have known who have been touched to finest issues, and you will find, +with few exceptions, that they are the shaping of a noble woman's +hands--a noble mother, a noble wife, a noble sister. Doubt not, but +earnestly believe that with those wonderful shaping hands of yours you +can mould that boy of yours into the manhood of Sir Galahad, "whose +strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure"; that +you can send him forth into the world like King Arthur, of whom our own +poet, Spenser, says, that the poorest, the most unprotected girl could +feel that + + "All the while he by his side her bore + She was as safe as in a sanctuary." + +Nay, may I not go further still and say that by the grace of God you can +send him forth "made of a woman" in the image of the strong and tender +Manhood of Jesus Christ, to Whom even the poor lost girls out of the +street could come and know that here was a Man who would not drag them +down, but lift them up; believing in Whom, clinging to Whom, trusting in +Whom, they grew no longer lost and degraded, but splendid saints of the +Christian Church. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 11: _Morality in Public Schools_, by Dr. Butler, Master of +Trinity College, Cambridge, and late Head-Master of Harrow.] + +[Footnote 12: _The Preservation of Health_, by Clement Dukes, M.D., +M.R.C.S., Howard Medallist, Statistical Society of London, p. 150.] + +[Footnote 13: _Ibid._, p. 157.] + +[Footnote 14: _A Confidential Talk with the Boys of America_, by J.M. +Dick. Fleming H. Revell Co.] + +[Footnote 15: See Appendix.] + +[Footnote 16: See _Parents' Review_, No. 5, July, 1895, p. 351.] + +[Footnote 17: have quoted here from _The Ascent of Man_ by Professor +Drummond, pp. 292, 293; but any standard work on botany will give you +the method of the fertilization of plants in greater detail.] + +[Footnote 18: _Ibid._, p. 310.] + +[Footnote 19: Erroneously called neuter, as in reality it is an +imperfectly developed female, and is only capable of producing males.] + +[Footnote 20: I owe my first clear apprehension of the gradual evolution +of the preservative and altruistic elements in nature, arising from the +struggle for existence, to a sermon of Dr. Abbott's called _The +Manifestation of the Son of God_, now, I fear, out of print. Of course +Darwin recognized these factors as a necessary complement to the +survival of the fittest, else had there been no fittest to survive; but +the exigencies of proving his theory of the origin of species +necessitated his dwelling on the destructive and weeding-out elements of +Nature--"Nature red in tooth and claw," rather than the equally +pervasive Nature of the brooding wing and the flowing breast. Had not +Professor Drummond unfortunately mixed it up with a good deal of +extraneous sentiment, his main thesis would scarcely have been +impugned.] + +[Footnote 21: In case this method of teaching should seem to some +mothers too difficult, I intend to embody it in a simple "Mother's Talk +on Life and Birth," which a mother can read with her boys.] + +[Footnote 22: See a White Cross paper of mine called _My Little Sister_. +Wells Gardner, Darton and Co., London.] + +[Footnote 23: Twice since the wreck of the _Birkenhead_ has the same +true manhood been evinced on the high seas in the face of almost certain +death--once in the wreck of the troopship, the _Warren Hastings_, and +again by the crew and the civilian passengers of the _Stella_. Perfect +order was maintained, and though, ultimately all the men were saved, not +a man stirred hand or foot to save himself till the women and children +had first been safely got on shore.] + +[Footnote 24: _French and English_, by Philip Hamerton, p. 44.] + +[Footnote 25: _The British Zulu_. Wells Gardner, Darton and Co., +London.] + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +EARLY MANHOOD + + +If, in the words of the great educator I have already quoted, the chief +moral teaching and moral trend of the character must be given in the +schoolboy days, yet early manhood presents its own fruitful field for +the influence of a mother on the side of whatsoever things are pure and +lovely. The methods of exerting this influence must change as your son +grows from a boy into a man; the inevitable reticence, the exquisite +reserve of sex, must interfere with the old boyish confidences and with +your own freedom of speech. Other barriers, too, will most likely spring +up as your son goes forth into the world and mixes freely with other +young men of his own standing. Whether it be at college, or in the army, +or in business, he will inevitably be influenced by the views of the men +he associates with, which he will enlarge into the opinion of the world +in general, and will probably come home, if not to contradict his +mother, at least to patronize her and go his own way, smiling at her +with an air of manly superiority and with a lofty consciousness that he +knows a thing or two which lie beyond a woman's ken. Probably enough he +takes up with views on religion, or politics, or social questions which +are emphatically not yours, and which make you feel left very far +behind, instead of the old familiar "walking together" which was so +sweet. Worse still, he may evince for a time a cynical indifference to +all great questions, and all your teaching may seem to be lost in a +desert flat. The days of the latch-key and the independent life have +come, and you often seem to stand outside the walls which once admitted +you into their dearest recesses, left with but little clue as to what is +going on within. + +But have patience. Early teaching and influence, though it may pass for +a time into abeyance, is the one thing that leaves an indelible impress +which will in the end make itself felt, only waiting for those eternal +springs which well up sooner or later in every life to burst into upward +growth; it may be a pure attachment, it may be a great sorrow, it may be +a sickness almost unto death, it may be some awakening to spiritual +realities. I often think of that pathetic yet joyful resurrection cry, +"This is our God, we have waited for Him"--waited for Him, possibly +through such long years of disappointment and heart hunger--only to cry +at the last, "This is our God, we have waited for Him, and He has saved +us." + +But it is not all waiting. If with early manhood the "old order" has to +give place to new, and old methods and instruments have to be laid +aside as no longer fitted for their task, God puts into the hands of the +mother new instruments, new methods of appeal, which in some ways are +more powerful than the old. In early manhood she can appeal to the +thought of the future wife. I believe that this appeal is one of the +strongest that you can bring to bear upon young men. + +I once had to make it myself under circumstances of unparalleled +difficulty; and I was struck with the profound response that it evoked. +It was on the occasion of the inaugural White Cross address to the +students of the Edinburgh University, now one of the first medical +schools in the world. The date of the address had been fixed, the hall +taken, when an unforeseen difficulty arose. Eminent man after eminent +man was asked to give the address, but all with one consent began to +make excuse. Spirit and flesh quailed before so difficult and rowdy an +audience on so difficult and perilous a subject. At last the professor +who was chiefly interested implored me to give the address myself, or +the whole thing would go by default. Under these circumstances I had no +choice but to do so. But as I sat in the committee room while the order +of the meeting was being arranged, and heard my audience shouting, +singing, crowing like cocks, whistling like parrots, caterwauling like +cats, and keeping up a continuous uproar, I thought to myself, "I have +got to go into that, and control it somehow so as to be heard"; I +confess I did feel wrecked upon God. Professor Maclagan, who took the +chair, agreed that a prayer was impossible, a hymn was equally out of +the question. The only thing was to push me at once to the front; and +almost immediately after a few very brief words from the distinguished +chairman I found myself face to face with an audience that evidently +meant mischief. By some instinct I told them at once about James Hinton, +whom, of course, they knew by name as the first aurist of his day; how, +with all that this life could give him, he had died of a broken heart, a +heart broken over the lost and degraded womanhood of England, the hosts +of young girls slain in body and soul whom he met with at night in our +terrible streets. This seemed to strike and sober them, that a man +should actually die over a thing which to all of them was so familiar +and to many had been only the subject of a coarse jest. Fortunately, +there is a stage of nervous terror which rounds again on desperate +courage, and having once got hold of my audience, I determined to use +the occasion to the uttermost and venture on the most perilous ground. +In the course of my address I asked them to take notice of a great +silent change that was taking place all round them in the position of +women, the full significance of which they might not have grasped. +Everywhere women were leaving the seclusion of their homes and were +quietly coming forward and taking their place by their side in the great +work of the world. I thanked them for the generous welcome that they +had accorded them. But had they seized the full meaning, the ulterior +bearings of this changed attitude in women, and the wider knowledge of +the world that it brought with it? Not so long ago it was an understood +thing that women should know nothing of the darker side of life; and +there was nothing dishonorable in a man keeping the woman he loved in +ignorance of the darker side of his own past, if such there were. But in +the greater knowledge that has come to women, and the anguish some of +them feel over the misery and degradation of their lost sisters, can +this attitude any longer be maintained without conscious deception? +"What would you say," I asked, "if the woman you loved with the whole +strength of your soul passed herself off as an undamaged article upon +you, and let you worship her as the very embodiment of all that is white +and pure, when something unspeakably sad and sinful had happened in her +past life? You know you would be half mad at the wrong done to you if +after marriage you found it out. And what are you going to do, I ask +some of you who are so careless as to the life you lead, are _you_ going +to pass yourself off as an undamaged article on the woman who loves and +worships you, and who gives herself so unreservedly to you that she +loses her very name and takes yours? Is it fair, is it honorable, is it +even manly? No, I see by your faces you are saying, 'I don't think it +is, I should have to confess.' Well, that is better than basing your +life on a dishonorable lie. But, alas! it is no way out of the misery. +At the very moment when you would give all you possess to be worthy of +that great love she gives you, you have to prove that you are unworthy; +and the whole of the only last gleam of Eden that is left to this poor +life of yours, the pure love of a man to a pure woman, is blotted out +with bitter and jealous tears; the trail of the serpent is over it all. +I know well that women can love, and love passionately, impure men; but +every woman will tell you that there is _a_ love that a woman can only +give to a man who has been faithful to her before marriage as well as +after; and for ever and for ever there will be a shut door at the very +heart of your Eden of which you have flung away the key, a love that +might have been yours had you kept yourself worthy of it. There is but +one way out of the difficulty, now that in the changed position of women +you can no longer honorably keep them in the dark--to make up your mind +that you will come to the woman you love in the glory of your unfallen +manhood, as you expect her to come to you in the beauty of her spotless +maidenhood." + +I did not know for one moment whether they would not break out into +cooing like doves; but, on the contrary, they listened to me with +profound attention, and I could see that none of my words went so home +to them as those. When I had finished my address a member of the +committee said to one of the professors, "I think if she had asked them +to go off and storm Edinburgh Castle they would have marched off in a +body and done it." So great is the power of a woman pleading for women. + +If I could use this sacred plea with effect under circumstances of--I +think you will allow--such unspeakable difficulty, must it not be +possible to you, the mother from whom such an appeal would come so +naturally, to use this same influence, and in the quiet Sunday walk +through the fields and woods where Nature herself seems to breathe of +the sanctity of life in every leaf and flower, or in the quiet talk over +the winter fireside before he leaves home, to plead with your son to +keep himself faithful to his future wife, so that when he meets the +woman he can love and make his wife, he may have no shameful secrets to +confess, or, worse still, to conceal from her, no base tendencies to +hand down to his unborn children after him? Thank God! how many an +American and English wife and mother can speak here from personal +experience of the perfect love and perfect trust which have been bred of +a pure life before marriage, and a knowledge that the sacraments of love +and life had never been desecrated or defiled, so that no shadow of +distrust or suspicion can ever darken the path of her married happiness. +How powerful the pleading of such a mother may become with her son, to +give his future wife the same perfect trust and unclouded happiness in +her husband's love! + +I remember in a series of allegorical pictures by an old master in the +Baptistery at Florence, how, with the divine instinct of poets and +artists, in the beautiful symbolic figure of Hope, the painter has +placed a lily in her hands. Cannot we teach our sons that if they are to +realize their dearest hope in life, that divine hope must ever bear a +lily in her hand as the only wand that can open to them the paradise of +the ideal, the divine vision which is "the master light of all our +seeing," the deepest and most sacred joys of our life? + + He safely walks in darkest ways + Whose youth is lighted from above, + Where, through the senses' silvery haze, + Dawns the veiled moon of nuptial love. + + "Who is the happy husband? He + Who, scanning his unwedded life, + Thanks God, with all his conscience free, + 'Twas faithful to his future wife."[26] + +Again, could we not give our boys a little more teaching about the true +nature and sacredness of fatherhood? It always strikes me that the true +ethics of fatherhood are not yet born. Were the true nature, the +sacredness, and the immense responsibilities of fatherhood really and +duly recognized, men could not look with the appalling lightness with +which they do on providing some substitute for marriage, when they have +not the means to marry in early life, and are under the very prevalent +illusion that continent men who marry late run the risk of a childless +marriage--a notion which so great an authority as Acton pronounces to be +absolutely false physiologically, and without foundation in fact. To +bring a child into the world to whom he can perform no one of the duties +of a father, and to whom he deliberately gives a mother with a tarnished +name--a mother who, from the initial wrong done to her and the stigma +which deprives her of the society of women, will only too probably not +stay her feet at the first wrong step, but be drawn down that dread +winding stair which ends in the despair of a lost soul--this, I urge, +would be utterly abhorrent to every even fairly right-thinking man, +instead of the very common thing it is. Did we see it truly, it would be +a not venial sin, but an unpardonable crime. + +Now, surely mothers can supply some teaching here which must be wanting +for public opinion to be what it is. A quiet talk about the high nature, +the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood cannot present any great +difficulties. + +I remember many years ago hearing Canon Knox Little preach a sermon in +York Cathedral to a large mixed congregation, in which he touched on +this subject. At this distance of time I can only give the freest +rendering of his words, the more so as I have so often used them in my +own meetings that I may have unconsciously moulded them after my own +fashion. "Look," he said, "at that dying father--dying in the faith, +having fought the good fight, and all heaven now opening before his +dying gaze. Yet he withdraws his thoughts from that great hereafter to +centre them upon the little lad who stands at his bedside. His hands +wander over the golden head with + + "'The vast sad tenderness of dying men.' + +He triumphs over pain and weakness that he may plot and plan every +detail of the young life which he can no longer live to guide and +direct. And when at length he seems to have passed into the last +darkness, and they hold up the child to see if he will yet recognize +him, suddenly the spirit seems to sweep back again over the dark river +which it has almost crossed, and an ineffable light illumines the dying +face as his lips meet the lips of his little son in one last supreme +kiss--the father's love for one moment vanquishing death itself. And +what, I ask," said the preacher, in tones that thrilled that vast +audience, "must be the sin of desecrating and defiling such a function +as this, this function of fatherhood in which man seems to touch upon +God Himself and become the representative of the Father in heaven--what +must be the guilt of turning it into a subject of filthy jests and a +source of unclean actions?" + +The friend with whom I was staying had brought with her her Bible class +of Industrial School lads, and when the next day she asked what had +struck them most in the sermon, they answered promptly, "What he said +about fathers," Let us go and teach likewise. + +But perhaps the most precious sphere of influence is that which comes to +a mother last and latest of all--too late, unless the moral training of +all preceding years has been made one long disciplinary preparation in +self-mastery and pureness of living, for the higher and more difficult +self-control, the far sterner discipline, of true marriage pure and +undefiled. But if through her training and influence "the white flower +of a blameless life" has been worn + + "Through all the years of passion in the blood," + +then this is the time when her long patient sowing comes to its golden +fruitage. It is to his mother that a young man turns as his confidant in +his engagement; it is to her that he necessarily turns for counsel and +advice with regard to his young wife in the early years of his marriage. +A young man in love is a man who can receive divine truth even of the +hardest, for love is of God, and its very nature is self-giving. + + "Love took up the harp of life, and smote upon its chords with might-- + Smote the chord of self, that trembling passed in music out of sight." + +A pure affection is an almost awful revelation in itself to a young man +of the true nature of sensual sin. He would gladly die for the woman he +loves. And we look, therefore, to you mothers to bring into the world +that Christian ideal of marriage which at present is practically shut up +between the covers of our Bibles, that the man is to love the woman, the +husband the wife,[27] "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for +it"; not our ideal of the self-sacrificing woman--our patient Griseldas +and Enids and all the rest of it--but the self-sacrificing man, who is +but poorly represented in our literature at all,--the man who loves the +woman and gives himself for her, holding all the strongest forces and +passions of his nature for her good, to crown her with perfect wifehood +and perfect motherhood. + +This Christian ideal was doubtless intended to fulfil those restrictions +of the Levitical Law which were to safeguard the health of the wife and +secure the best conditions for the unborn child; laws and regulations to +the observance of which the Jew doubtless owes his splendid physique and +his still more splendid mental endowments, which, though he is the +fewest of all peoples, bring him everywhere to the forefront,--in +finance, in literature, in music, in general capacity,--and to which, I +should be inclined to add, he owes his comparatively slow rate of +increase, else it is difficult to understand the small numerical +strength of this extraordinary race; but I know that this is a disputed +point. No jot or tittle of these laws and regulations can pass away +until they are fulfilled in some larger truth; for ignore them or not, +they are founded on physiological laws; and it is on mothers' +recognizing this larger truth in the advice they give, and on their +bringing in the Christian ideal, that the future of marriage mainly +depends, and its being made more consonant with the higher and more +independent position of women than it at present is. + +Whilst the sight is so familiar of wives with health broken down and +life made a burden, possibly even premature death incurred, by their +being given no rest from the sacred duties of motherhood, to say nothing +of the health of the hapless child born under such circumstances, can we +wonder that the modern woman often shows a marked distaste to marriage +and looks upon it as something low and sensual? Or can we wonder that +married men, with so sensual an ideal of so holy a state, should, alas! +so largely minister to the existence of an outcast class of women? + +On the other hand, the remedy resorted to is often worse than the +disease. I confess I have stood aghast at the advice given by Christian +mothers, often backed up by a doctor whom they affirm to be a Christian +man, in order to save the health of the wife or limit the increase of +the family. The heads of the profession, in England, I believe, are +sound on this point, a conference having been held some years ago by our +leading medical men to denounce all such "fruits of philosophy" as +physically injurious and morally lowering. + +But if we want to know what their practical results are, the moral +gangrene they are to the national life when once they have firmly taken +hold of a nation, we have only to look across the channel at +France--France with her immense wealth, but rapidly declining +population, which in less than a century will reduce her from a +first-rate to a second-or third-rate power, so that her statesmen have +actually debated the expediency of offering a premium on illegitimacy in +the shape of free nurture to all illegitimate children,--illegitimate +citizens being better in their estimation than no citizens at all. + +Would we have the Anglo-Saxon race enter on this downward grade? If not, +then let us women silently band together to preserve the sanctity of the +family, of the home, and sternly to bar out the entrance of all that +defileth--all that sensualizes her men and enfeebles their self-mastery, +all that renders the heart of her women too craven to encounter the +burdens of being the mothers of a mighty race, flowing out into all the +lands to civilize and Christianize, and "bear the white man's burthen." + +One word more, a sad and painful one, but one which comes from my inmost +heart. Do not pass by the sadder aspects of this great moral question +and refuse "to open thy mouth for the dumb," for those "who are +appointed unto destruction." + +You cannot keep your son in ignorance of the facts; the state of our +miserable streets, every time he walks out in the evening in any of our +large towns, absolutely forbids that possibility. But you can place him +in the right attitude to meet those facts whether in the streets or +among his own companions. It is by fighting the evils without that we +can best fight the evils within. It is in dragging them down that we are +lifted up. A noble passion for the wronged, the weak, the sinful, and +the lost is the best means for casting out the ignoble passions which +would destroy another in order to have a good time one's self. At +present the stock phrase of a virtuous young man is, "I know how to take +care of myself." You have to put into his lips and heart a stronger and +a nobler utterance than that: "I know how to take care of the weakest +woman that comes in my path." Surely it is requiring no impossible moral +attitude in our sons, rather mere common manliness, to expect that when +spoken to by some poor wanderer, he should make answer in his heart if +not with his lips, "My girl, I have got a sister, and it would break my +heart to see her in your place, and I would rather die than have any +part in your degradation." One mother I know, who had been much engaged +in rescue work, and into whose heart the misery and degradation of our +outcast girls had entered like iron, taught her young son always to +take off his hat before passsing on, whenever he was accosted. He told a +friend of mine that he had scarcely ever known it to fail. Either the +poor girl would say, "Sir, I am very sorry I spoke to you"; or more +frequently still that little mark of human respect would prove too much, +and she would silently turn away and burst into tears. If our sons +cannot bare their heads before that bowed and ignoble object on whom the +sins of us all seem to have met--the wild passions of men, as well as +the self-righteousness of the Church--then our young men are not what I +take them to be,--nay, thank God! what I know them to be, sound of head +and sound of heart. They get hold of facts by the wrong end; they cut +into the middle of a chain, and look upon the woman as the aggressor, +and contemplate her as an unclean bird of prey. They do not in the least +realize the slight and morally trivial things that cast too many of our +working-class girls down into the pit of hell that skirts their daily +path--often as mere children who know not what they do, often from +hunger and desperation, often tricked and drugged, and always heavily +bribed. But let them know the facts, let them read a little paper such +as the _Black Anchor_, the _Ride of Death_, or _My Little Sister_,[28] +and they will feel the whole thing to be, in their own rough but +expressive words, "a beastly shame," and fight it both in themselves +and in others, for our sakes as well as their own. For the misery as +things are is this:--that men divide us into two classes--we pure women +for whom nothing is too good; and those others, whom they never +associate with us, for whom nothing is too bad. And what we have to +teach them is this--that our womanhood is ONE that a sin against them is +a sin against us, and so to link the thought of us to them that for the +sake of their own mothers, for the sake of their own sisters, above all, +for the sake of the future wife, they cannot wrong or degrade a woman or +keep up a degraded class of women. + +I am aware that, besides the suggestions I have made, young men require +a plain, emphatic warning as to the physical dangers of licentiousness +and of the possibility of contracting a taint which medical science is +now pronouncing to be ineradicable and which they will transmit in some +form or other to their children after them. We want a strong cord made +up of every strand we can lay hold of, and one of these strands is +doubtless self-preservation, though in impulsive youth I do not think it +the strongest. But to give these warnings is manifestly the father's +duty, and not the mother's; and I hope and believe that the number of +fathers who are beginning to recognize their duty in this matter, as +moral teachers of their boys, is steadily increasing. In the case of +widowed mothers, or where the father absolutely refuses to say anything, +perhaps the paper I have already mentioned, _Medical Testimony_,[29] +would be the best substitute for the father's living voice. + +And now let me conclude this chapter, as I concluded the last, with a +few scattered practical suggestions which may prove of use. My +experience has been that the vast majority of our young men go wrong not +from any vicious tendencies, but from want of thought, want of +knowledge, and a consequent yielding to the low moral tone of so-called +men of the world, and the fear of being chaffed as "an innocent." See +that your boy is guarded from this want of thought and want of +knowledge. When your son is a Sixth Form boy--it is impossible to give +the age more definitely, as it must depend upon the character of the +boy--place in his hands the White Cross paper, _True Manliness_ which +will give him the facts about his own manhood. This paper was carefully +revised by the late Bishop of Durham, Dr. Lightfoot, whose specialty was +young men; and upwards of a million copies have been sold, which in +itself guarantees it as a safe paper. Nor need you as a mother of sons +fear to read over any of the White Cross papers, since they concern +themselves, as their name denotes, with purity and a high ideal of +life--not with the sewer, but with the fountain of sweet waters. + +Should your boys be so inclined, you might suggest their joining that +band of modern knights, the White Cross Society.[30] It is a great thing +to give a young man a high ideal to act up to, and the White Cross would +certainly give him this, as well as save him, with its definite +obligations, from evil that is incurred from sheer thoughtlessness and +animal spirits, enforcing a respectful and chivalrous treatment of +women, even when by their fast ways those women show that they have no +respect for themselves. But more especially is this the case with regard +to the second obligation, to discountenance coarse jests and allusions +and the by no means nice sort of talk that often goes on in +smoking-rooms, and by which, I am convinced, more than by any other +agency the mind and conscience of young men is gradually deadened and +defiled, but in which they are apt to join from sheer thoughtlessness +and sense of fun. Their White Cross obligation might screw up their +moral courage to utter some such pointed rebuke as Dr. Jowett's to a +lot of young men in a smoking-room, "I don't want to make myself out +better than you are, but is there not more dirt than wit in that story?" +or that other still more public rebuke which he administered at his own +dinner-table when, the gentlemen having been left to their wine, a +well-known diplomat began telling some very unsavory stories, till the +still, small, high-pitched voice of the Master made itself heard, +saying, "Had we not better adjourn this conversation till we join the +ladies in the drawing-room?" At least they can keep silence and a grave +face; and silence and a grave face are often the best damper to coarse +wit. Why, I ask, should men when they get together be one whit coarser +than women? It is simply an evil fashion, and as an evil fashion can and +will be put down as "bad form." + +I think also that joining the White Cross will make young men more +active in trying to influence other young men and to guard and help +their younger brothers, with all the other priceless work that they can, +if they will, do for our womanhood among men, but which, from shyness +and reserve and the dread of being looked upon as moral prigs, they are +apt to let go by default. + +But whether you agree with me or not with regard to your sons' joining +an organization, see that they assume their rightful attitude of +guardians of the purity of the home. We women cannot know anything about +the inner secrets of men's lives, or know whom to exclude and whom to +admit to the society of our girls. This ought to be the part of the +brothers. God knows we do not want to make a pariah class of men on the +same lines as are meted out to women. The young man who wants to do +better we are bound to help, and no better work can be done in our large +cities than to open our homes to young men in business or in Government +offices, etc. But men who are deliberately leading a fast life and who +are deeply stained with the degradation of our own womanhood, with no +wish to rise out of their moral slough, these must be to us as moral +lepers, to be gilded by no wealth, to be cloaked by no insignia of noble +birth, or we stand betrayed as hypocrites and charlatans in our own +cause. If our position in society is such as obliges us to receive such +men, we all know the moral uses of ice, and under the guise of the most +frigid politeness we can make them feel their absolute exclusion from +the inner circle of our friends and intimates. There need be no +discussion between you and your son--just the hint: "Oh, mother, I would +not ask that fellow if I were you," and you will know what is meant. + +Much may also be done by keeping up the general high tone of the home. +One mother of eight sons, who all turned out men of high, pure life, if +ever they used in her presence such expressions as "a well-groomed +woman," or commended their last partner at a ball as "a pretty little +filly," would instantly interrupt them and ask incisively, "Are you +talking of a horse or a woman? If you are talking of a woman, you will +be pleased to remember that you are speaking in the presence of your +mother and your sisters." And if any scandal about a woman was mooted, +the conversation was at once quietly turned into another and more +profitable channel. + +A word of homely advice from you to your sons with regard to our streets +at night: never to loiter, but to trudge on quickly, when they would be +rarely molested, may be advisable and useful. + +As to absolute watchfulness with regard to the young maid-servants in +your house, this is so obvious a point that it scarcely needs +mentioning; though at the same time I have known the most culpably +careless arrangements made when the family are away for their summer +holidays, young maid-servants being left alone in the house while the +young men are still going backwards and forwards to their business; or +the whole family going out and no older woman being left in charge of +the young domestics. What can one expect but that, having sown moral +carelessness, we shall reap corruption? + +But even with no such culpable neglect of our responsibilities, I do +wish we would cultivate more human relations with our servants, and so +get them to work more consciously with us in maintaining a high +Christian tone in our homes. If we would but take a more individual +interest in them and their belongings, as we should do with those we +count our friends; getting a good situation for the younger sister who +is just coming on, possibly giving her a few weeks of good training in +our own household; giving the delicate child of the family change of air +and good food, even taking in a baby to enable a sick mother to go for a +short time into a hospital. All these things I have found possible in my +own household. And surely such thought and care for those they hold dear +would form a living bond between mistress and servant. If we would take +the same thought and care for pleasant breaks in the monotony of our +young servants' lives as we do for our own girls, would the servant +difficulty press upon us to the same degree? Nay, if we could set going +a weekly or fortnightly working party with our own servants in some +cause which would interest us both, reading out some interesting +narrative in connection with it, could we not even in this small way +establish a bond of common service and make us feel that we were all +working together for the same Master, so that our servants might become +our helpers, and not, as they sometimes are, our hinderers, in bringing +up our children in a high and pure moral atmosphere? + +But when all things are said and done, I know that with every mother +worthy the name there must be moments of deep discouragement and sense +of failure--a sense of mistakes made with some difficult nature to +which her own gives her but little clue; a sense of difficulties in +vain grappled with, of shortcomings in vain striven against. Which of us +have not had such moments of despondency in the face of a great task? In +such moments I have often called to mind one of those parables of Nature +which are everywhere around us, unseen and unheeded, like those +exquisite fresco angels of the old masters, in dim corners of ancient +churches, blowing silent trumpets of praise and adoration and touching +mute viols into mystic melodies which are lost to us. So thin has the +material veil grown under the touch of modern science that everywhere +the spiritual breaks through. Often in that nameless discouragement +before unfinished tasks, unfulfilled aims, and broken efforts, I have +thought of how the creative Word has fashioned the opal, made it of the +same stuff as desert sands, mere silica--not a crystallized stone like a +diamond, but rather a stone with a broken heart, traversed by hundreds +of small fissures which let in the air, the breath, as the Spirit is +called in the Greek of our New Testament; and through these two +transparent mediums of such different density it is enabled to refract +the light and reflect every lovely hue of heaven, while at its heart +burns a mysterious spot of fire. When we feel, therefore, as I have +often done, nothing but cracks and desert dust, we can say, "So God +maketh his precious opal." Our very sense of brokenness and failure +makes room for the Spirit to enter in, and through His strength made +perfect in human weakness we are made able to reflect every tender hue +of the eternal Loveliness and break up the white light of His truth into +those rays which are fittest for different natures; while that hidden +lamp of the sanctuary will burn in your heart of hearts for ever a guide +to your boy's feet in the devious ways of life. + +In conclusion, I should like to record an incident full of encouragement +to mothers. A young fellow of eighteen or nineteen, whom his widowed +mother had brought up on the principles which I have been advocating, +said to her one day, "Mother, you know that men don't always think like +you about poor girls." "Alas!" she replied, "I know that but too well; +but what makes you say so?" "Well, mother, I was with a lot of college +fellows yesterday, and they were giving one another the best addresses +in the West End to go to." "But didn't you say anything?" "No, I only +kept silence. Had I said anything, they would only have called me a +confounded prig. There were three other fellows who kept silence, and I +could see they did not approve, but we none of us spoke up." "Oh, my +son," exclaimed his mother in great distress, "how are we to help you +young fellows? Do you think if the clergy were more faithful, they could +help you more than they do?" "I don't think they would listen to what a +parson says." "Then if doctors were to warn you more plainly than they +do?" "I don't think it would be of much use; they would not heed; and +then a fellow generally goes to a doctor too late." "Then what can we +do, what can we do?" "Well, I think there is only one person who can +really help, and that's a fellow's mother--she can save him, if she +would only try." + +Doubt not, but earnestly believe. "In every man's breast is to be found +a lotus-blossom," says the pretty old Indian saying, and, watered by +your prayers and your tears, be sure it will blossom into "the white +flower of a blameless life." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 26: Coventry Patmore.] + +[Footnote 27: The word in Greek is the same for woman and wife.] + +[Footnote 28: White Cross Publications, E.P. Dutton & Co., 31 West +Twenty Third Street, New York.] + +[Footnote 29: Office of White Cross league, 7 Dean's Yard, Westminster +Abbey, London.] + +[Footnote 30: THE WHITE CROSS OBLIGATIONS. I. To treat all women with +respect, and endeavor to protect them from wrong and degradation. + +II. To endeavor to put down all indecent language and coarse jests. + +III. To maintain the law of purity as equally binding upon men and +women. + +IV. To endeavor to spread these principles among my companions, and to +try and help my younger brothers. + +V. To use every possible means to fulfil the command, + +"Keep thyself pure."] + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE INFLUENCE OF SISTERS + + +Hitherto I have dealt exclusively with the moral training of boys and +young men, but I am aware that I have left out one of the great shaping +influences of a boy's life, which certainly comes next to the mother's +where it exists--the influence of sisters. The childish hand that he +clasps in his is the hand that unconsciously moulds him to higher ends +or the reverse. For if the man is the director, the ruler, and defender, +"the builder of the house" as he is called in the grand old word +husband,[31] the woman is the shaping and moulding influence of life; +and if God has placed her in the power of the man, both through the +weakness of her frame and the strength of her affections, on the other +hand He has given into her hands the keys of his being, and according as +he fulfils or abuses his trust towards her, she opens or closes the door +of higher life to him.[32] + +I often wonder whether we women sufficiently realize this truth for +ourselves or our girls. Walter Bagehot used to say in his blind, +masculine way, "It's a horrid scrape to be a woman,"--a sentiment which, +I fear, will find some echo in the hearts of a good many women +themselves. But is it so? If to the man chiefly belongs power in all its +forms, does not the woman wield as her portion that far more potent but +wholly silent, and often unnoticed thing, influence? Not the storm, or +the earthquake, or the strong wind, but the still, small voice: the +benediction of dews and gentle rains, the mute beatitudes of still +waters flowing through sun-parched lands and transforming them into +"fruitful fields that the Lord hath blest"; the silent but irresistible +influence of the sunlight, which in the baby palm of a little leaf +becomes a golden key to unlock the secret treasures of the air and build +up great oaks out of its invisible elements; the still, small voice of +the moral sense, so still, so small, so powerless to enforce its +dictates, but before which all the forces of the man do bow and obey, +choosing death rather than disobedience--are not all these silent +influences emblems of the supreme, shaping, moulding influence that is +given to the woman as the "mother of all living," coming without +observation, but making far more strongly than any external power for +the kingdom of love and light? Truly we have a goodly heritage if only +we had eyes to see it. Alas! that we should have made so little +comparative use of it in these great moral questions. Alas! that we +should have to acknowledge the truth and justice of the poet's words: + + Ah, wasteful woman! she who may + On her sweet self set her own price, + Knowing he cannot choose but pay-- + How has she cheapen'd Paradise, + How given for nought her priceless gift, + How spoiled the bread and spilt the wine, + Which, spent with due respective thrift, + Had made brutes men, and men divine!"[33] + +But even here is there not place for a hopeful thought, that if women +have made so little comparative use of their well-nigh irresistible +influence in setting a high standard and shaping men to a diviner and +less animal type, it has been, as I have already said, chiefly owing to +ignorance? The whole of one of the darkest sides of life has been +sedulously kept from us. Educated mothers, till lately, have been +profoundly ignorant of the moral evils of schools, and have never dreamt +that that young, frank, fresh-faced lad of theirs had any temptations of +the kind. Their moral influence, which the poet blames them so strongly +for misusing, has been largely, at least with good women, not so much a +misused as an undirected force, and we know not, therefore, what that +force may accomplish when a larger and truer knowledge enables it to be +persistently directed to a conscious aim. This fact, at least, has been +stamped into my inmost being, that men will rise to any moral standard +which women choose to set them. + +I ask, therefore, cannot we get our girls to help us here more than we +do, without being crippled by the fear of initiating them too much in +the evil of the world or destroying that unconscious virginal purity +which is, even as things are, so strong and pathetic an influence for +good over young men? + +In the addresses that I have given to large numbers of educated girls, I +used often to begin by quoting a passage from the Jewish Prayer-Book. In +a general thanksgiving for the mercies of life, the men say: "We thank +Thee, O Lord of heaven and earth, that Thou hast not made us a woman." +One a little wonders how the poor women could join in this thanksgiving. +But in one corner of the page there is a little rubric in very small +print which directs, "Here shall the women say: 'We thank Thee, O Lord +of heaven and earth, that Thou hast made us according unto Thy will!'" +And, looking upon that bed of spring flowers before me, I used to tell +them that it made me feel what a fair and gracious and beautiful thing +it was to be made according unto God's will, to be made a woman. + +Now, in the first place, could we not get them to realize this great +truth a little more than they do, and not in their heart of hearts to +wish that they were men? Could we not get them to realize a little more +the divine possibilities of their womanhood, and instead of making it +their ambition to figure as a weaker form of man, and become lawyers, +stockbrokers, and other queer things the modern woman is striving after, +to make it their ambition to become stronger and truer women? + +But how is this to be done? I remember on one occasion, when I was going +in the evening to address a mass meeting of working-class girls, a +stout, middle-aged lady bustling up to me in a morning conference we +were holding, and exclaiming: "And what are you going to say to them? +What can you say to them, except to tell them to take care of themselves +and keep the men at arm's length?" + +Now, this old-fashioned method, which we have adopted in dealing with +the girls of the poor, I contend traverses the central and most +fundamental facts of a woman's being. A woman will never find salvation +in being told to take care of herself, and least of all for the purpose +of keeping the man, for whom she was created to be a helpmate, at arm's +length. Gospels of self-culture may take seeming root here and there in +the exotic woman; but even in her, at some moment of swift passion or +strong emotion, they will crumple up and fall off from her like a +withered leaf. James Hinton knew a woman's nature but too well when he +said that she would respond to the appeal "Lay down your life" more +readily and more surely than to the appeal "Take up your rights." She +certainly has a most divine power of flinging herself away, whether +nobly or ignobly, which forms both her strength and her weakness. But I +have never yet known a woman who would not, at any rate to some degree, +respond to an appeal to save, not herself, but another: "Do not let him +do this wrong thing, for his sake. You can do anything you like with a +man who loves you. God has given him body and soul into your hands, and +you can lift him up into something of His image and make a true man of +him; or you can let his love for you sink him into a selfish beast of +prey. Do not let him do anything that will for ever lower his manhood, +but use your power over him to keep him true to all that is best and +highest in him." I have never yet known the woman who will not be moved +by such an appeal as this. In other words, the central motive force of a +woman's nature, the key of her whole being, is, and must ever be, the +mother in her, that divine motherhood which is at the heart of every +woman worthy of the name, married or unmarried. It is this divine +motherhood, which all evolution, the whole "process of the suns," has +gone to strengthen, and which Christianity has enshrined at her very +heart--it is this that makes her for ever the Christ factor in the +world, the supreme expression of the redeeming Love--that care of the +strong for the weak which even in Nature comes trembling into existence +beneath the tender wing of the nesting bird, or forces itself into +notice in the fierce lioness's care for her whelps, and which we +believe will work out the ultimate consummation of the "whole creation +that groaneth and travaileth in pain until now." And I contend that if +we are to have in the future such women as Lady Augusta Stanley, round +whose lifeless form were united in one common sorrow the Queen on her +throne and the poorest of the poor, such women as Browning's wife and +Browning's mother, of whom he used to say, with a slight tremor in his +voice, "She was a divine woman," it will be by strengthening and +appealing to this element of divine motherhood in a woman's nature. + +What I would, therefore, teach the girls is this: that they have got to +mother the boys, that they are the guardians of all that is best and +highest in them, of all that makes for the chivalrous American +gentleman, and that their womanhood should therefore be to them a +fountain of fine manners, of high thoughts, and noble actions. I would +rub into their very bones, if I could, the old saw I have already +quoted: "A man is what a woman makes him"; that if there were more high +womanhood there would be less low manhood; and that if the boys are rude +and rough and slangy, and loutish in their manner to women, the blame +lies with their sisters who, in their foolish fondness and indulgence, +or in their boyish camaraderie, have allowed them to slouch up into a +slovenly manhood. The man at most is the fine prose of life, but the +woman ought to be its poetry and inspiration. It is her hand that sets +its key, whether + + "To feed the high tradition of the world," + +or add to its low discords. Surely Ruskin's noble words apply here: "It +is the type of an eternal truth that the soul's armor is never well set +to the heart unless a woman's hand has braced it; and it is only when +she has braced it loosely that the honor of manhood fails"; or those +other still stronger and nobler words of Frederick Robertson's: "There +are two rocks in a man's life on which he must either anchor or split: +God and Woman." + +And could we not appeal to our girls to make their womanhood a rock +which bears a light to all in peril on the rough sea of life--a light to +save from moral shipwreck and lead to the safe haven beneath the Rock of +Ages? Surely we might appeal to them, in the name of their own brothers +and others with whom they are intimately thrown, to work out these +higher possibilities of their own womanhood; not to lower it by picking +up slang words from their brothers--a woman ought to be above coarsening +and vulgarizing God's great gift of speech--not to engage in games or +romps that involve a rude rough-and-tumble with boys, which may develop +a healthy hoyden, but is utterly destructive of the gracious dignity of +the true woman; not to adopt fast ways of either dress or bearing which +lead to young men making remarks behind their backs which they ought +not to make on any woman; above all, never in girlish flightiness, or, +worse still, in order to boast of the number of offers they have +received, to flirt or trifle in any way with a man's affections; but to +remember that to every man they have to make a woman only the other name +for truth and constancy. God only knows the number of young men who have +received their first downward bent from what to a young girl, in the +wilfulness of her high spirits and her ignorance of life, has been only +a bit of fun, but which to the young man has been the first fatal break +in his faith in woman--that faith which in his soul dwells so hard by +his faith in the Divine that in making shipwreck of the one is only too +likely to make shipwreck of the other. + +As to the mothers who send out their young girls into society the +victims of their fashionable dressmakers, to be a fountain, not of high, +pure thoughts to young men, but a spring of low temptations and impure +suggestions, I do not blame the young girls here; but surely the +severest blame is due to the criminal folly, or worse, of their mothers, +who must know what the consequences of immodest dressing necessarily are +to the inflammable mind of youth. + +But that that unlovely phenomenon "the girl of the period," is also +deeply to blame for the lowered traditions of English society, and +consequently of English manhood, I have only too sorrowfully to +acknowledge. I remember Mrs. Herbert of Vauxhall telling a very +fashionable audience how on one occasion she had to rebuke a young man +moving in the first London society for using some contemptuous +expression with regard to women, and was led to appeal very earnestly to +him to reverence all women for his mother's sake. He turned upon her +with a sort of divine rage and said: "I long to reverence women, but the +girls I meet with in society won't let me. They like me to make free +with them; they like me to talk to them about doubtful subjects, and +they make me"--and he ground his teeth as he said it--"what I just hate +myself for being." Alas! alas! can sadder words knell in a woman's ears +than these? + +But side by side with this desecrating womanhood there rises up before +me the vision of a young girl, not English, nor American, but +French--now a mature woman, with girls and boys of her own, but who in +her young days was the very embodiment of all that I have been urging +that our girls might become to their brothers. She was a daughter of the +great French preacher, Frederick Monod, and had an only brother who was +all in all to her. She knew enough of the evil of the world to know that +a medical student in Paris was exposed to great temptations; and she was +resolved, so far as she could, to make her womanhood a crystal shield +between him and them. She entered into all his pursuits; she took an +interest in all his friends and companions; she had always leisure for +sympathy and counsel in his difficulties and troubles. She had a little +room of her own to which she used to get him to come every evening and +talk over the day with her, so that she might keep herself heart to +heart with him in all that concerned him. She even overcame her girlish +reserve, and would get him to kneel down by her side and pour out her +sweet girlish heart in prayer that God would guide him in all his ways, +and keep him unspotted from the world. Years after, when he was a +married man, with boys of his own, he said to her: "You little know all +that you were to me as a young man. My temptations were so maddening +that I used sometimes to think that I must yield to them and do as other +young men did all round me. But then a vision of you used to rise up +before me, and I used to say to myself: 'No; if I do this thing, I can +never go and sit with her in her own little room; I can never look into +her dear face again.'" And the thought of that young girl, the angel of +her presence in the midst of the furnace, kept that young man unspotted +from the world through all the gutters of Paris life. Could not our +sweet English and American girls be to their brothers what that young +French girl was to hers? + +But perhaps some pessimistic mother will exclaim, "What is the use of +making these old-fashioned appeals to our modern girls? They are so +taken up with the delights of their freedom, so absorbed in the pleasure +of cycling and athletic games, so full of manly ambitions, so persuaded +that the proper cultivated attitude is to be an agnostic, and to look at +God and the universe through a sceptical and somewhat supercilious +eyeglass, that if we did make an appeal to them such as you suggest they +would only laugh at such old-fashioned notions." I can only say that I +have not found it so. I can bear the highest testimony at least to our +English girls, of whom I have addressed thousands, all over the three +kingdoms. Occasionally it has happened that maturer women have left me +stranded, stretching out hands of vain appeal to them; but my girls, my +dear girls, never once failed me. Not only could I see by the expression +of their faces how deeply they responded to my appeal to work out the +latent possibilities of their womanhood, and be the uplifting influence +to their brothers, and other young men with whom they were thrown, that +a true woman can be; but they came forward in troops to take up the +position I assigned to them in our woman's movement towards a higher and +purer life. Nobly did those young girls respond, joining a movement for +opening club-rooms and classes for working girls, a movement initiated +not by me, but by educated girls like themselves, and which has since +spread all over England and Scotland. + +And if this is true of our English girls, still more would it be true +of the American girl, who has a unique position and influence of her +own, and is dowered with that peculiar capacity and graciousness which +seem to belong by divine right to the American woman. + +I cannot but think that if we were to teach our girls less in religious +phraseology and more from the great realities of life; if they were +taught that Christianity is only human life rightly seen and divinely +ordered, that the Cross is only the uncovering of what is going on all +round us, though hidden to a careless gaze,--the sin, the pain, the +misery, which are forever crucifying and forever calling forth that +great passion of redeeming Love to which, through the motherhood that is +in us, "one touch of nature makes us kin"; and that the central truth of +Christianity is not, as we have too often taught, saving our own souls, +but a life poured out for the good of others, and personal salvation as +a means for having a life to pour forth--I cannot but think that much +fashionable girlish agnosticism would disappear, and the true woman +would reach forth to that divine humanity to which she belongs. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 31: Husband is derived from two words--"house" and the Saxon +word to "build," German _bauen_.] + +[Footnote 32: See a little White Cross paper called _My Little Sister_, +which I wish mothers would get into the hands of their sons just +entering into manhood to read, mark, learn, digest. (Wells Gardner, +Darton and Co.)] + +[Footnote 33: Coventry Patmore.] + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE MODERN WOMAN AND HER FUTURE + + +Up to this point I have dealt only with the great shaping and moulding +principles of life, with indirect influence rather than direct. How far +direct teaching on matters of sex should be given to our girls has been +a far greater perplexity to me than in the case of boys. In the present +state of our schools and our streets our boys must get to know evil. +Hitherto it was possible to say that our girls _might_ get to know evil, +and between that "must" and "might" lay a great and perplexing chasm. We +do not want our garden lilies to smell of anything but pure dews and +rains and sun-warmed fragrance. But is this ideal possible any longer, +except in a few secluded country homes, where, hidden like Keats's +nightingale "among the leaves," they may remain innocent and ignorant of +the world's evil? + +But with the ordinary conditions of the present day, with the greater +freedom accorded to women, the wider range of education, involving a +wider range of reading, with modern newspapers left about, I ask, How is +it possible for a mother to keep her girls in ignorance and unconscious +innocence? A volume of short stories comes into the house from the +circulating library; they are clever and apparently absolutely harmless. +Yet embedded in the heart of one such volume, which shall be nameless, I +came upon a story almost as vile as anything in a French novel, and +conveying the most corrupt knowledge. How, I ask, can a busy mother read +through every book of short stories before letting it fall into the +hands of her girls; or how, if they are to read Latin and Greek, or even +carefully to study our own old literature, is she to guard them from a +knowledge of evil conveyed in classical allusions, or in the coarse +plainness of speech of an earlier age? I know as a fact, whether we +recognize it or not, that behind our mature backs our girls are +discussing these moral problems with quite an alarming amount of +freedom, and some at least, guided by no teaching, and with no practical +knowledge of the great laws of human life, are coming to quite startling +conclusions, which would make their mothers' hair stand on end. And one +most undesirable, and I may add unnatural, result noticeable among the +more advanced section is a certain distaste for marriage, a tendency to +look upon it as something low and animal, which strikes me as simply a +fatal attitude for women to take up. + +Have we not, therefore, got clearly to recognize that the old order has +changed, giving place to new, and requiring, therefore, new methods. We +may or we may not like the new order, but it is _there_. Under the +changed conditions of modern life it is inevitable; therefore it must be +in the providence of God; it cannot be wholly bad, and if we will work +in with it loyally, and not thrust it aside for some old order of our +own, it may be, nay, it will be, wholly for good. Let us remember that +the two most conservative organic forms, the two that have most resisted +progressive evolution, are the donkey and the goose. To ignore the new +order, to cling to the old views and methods, is to court moral +extinction as a living force. As well think to find safety in escaping +from the advance of an express engine by adopting the stately pace of +our grandmothers, which was perfectly adapted for getting out of the way +of a lumbering stage-coach. May not He + + "Whose large plan ripens slowly to a whole" + +be working out a progressive ideal such as we trace in the great +spiritual records of our race? The Bible, thank God! neither begins nor +ends with sin; but it begins with a sinless garden, it ends with a +strong city of God, with evil known and recognized, but cast out beyond +its walls. May He not be leading us to form a wiser, deeper, stronger +ideal; to aim for our girls not so much at Innocence, with her fading +wreath of flowers--fading, as, alas! they must ever fade in a world like +this--but to aim at Virtue, with her victor's crown of gold, tried in +the fire? May it not be that His divine providence is constraining us to +take as our ideal for our womanhood, not the old sheltered garden, but a +strong city of God, having foundations, whose very gates are made of +pearl, through which nothing that defileth is suffered to enter, and +whose common ways are paved with pure gold, gold of no earthly temper, +but pure and clear as crystal;--a city of refuge for all who are +oppressed with wrong, and from which all foul forms of evil are banned +by the one word "_Without_"? Sure I am that if we will accept this +deeper and larger ideal, and endeavor, however imperfectly, to work it +out on the earth, in the midst of it, as in the old garden ideal, will +be found the tree of life; but then its very leaves will be for the +healing of the nations. + +But whether you go with me as far as this or not, I think you will agree +with me that we must not leave our girls to their own crude notions on +the deepest matters of life. Still less must we leave them to get their +teaching on marriage and matters of sex from some modern novels, which I +can only characterize as tuberculosis of the moral sense, but from +which, as I have already pointed out, we cannot always guard them. We +must give them direct teaching of some kind. + +First, I think our girls, as well as our boys, need far more direct +teaching than has been customary as to the sanctity of the body. This is +especially true of girls who are sent to boarding-schools, as some of +the moral evils of boys' schools are not, I am sorry to say, altogether +unknown in girls' schools, though, as far as I can ascertain, the evil +is much less in extent, and in some is non-existent. Still, all girls +need to be taught that the body is the temple of the Lord and Giver of +life, and that from the crown of their heads to the sole of their feet +those bodies belong to Christ. + +Secondly, I think that they ought to have some such teaching about life +and birth as that which I have already recommended for boys, that they +may see how through the marital tie and the consequent rise of the +parental relation, a world of blind mechanical force gradually developed +into a world of life and beauty, and at last crowned itself with a +conscious love in an indissoluble union, which makes marriage the very +type of the union of the soul with God, of Christ with His Church. + +Thirdly, they need to be taught that much in their own physical +constitution, which they rebel against as handicapping them in the +struggle of life, is Nature's provision for them that no merely physical +function should press upon them as we see it do in the animal creation +at certain periods of the year, but that they should be free to serve +God, whether in the married or in the unmarried state, in quietness and +godly living. + +Fourthly, above all they need definite teaching on the true nature, the +sanctity, and the beauty of marriage. It appears that the line of +progress is always a spiral, and it would seem as if we were in the +backward sweep of the spiral which looks like retrogression, but will +doubtless bring us out further up in the end. The masculine view that +marriage is the one aim and end of a woman's existence, adopted also by +some careful mothers, is now exploded. Young men are no longer led to +look upon every girl that they meet as furtively, to use a vulgarism, +"setting her cap for him," and only too ready to fling herself at his +feet. So far so good. But have we not suffered our girls to drift into +the opposite extreme? In the heyday of their bright young life, with so +many new interests and amusements open to them, in the pride of their +freedom and independence, they are no longer so inclined to marry, and +are even apt to look down upon the married state. They form so high an +ideal of the man to whom they would surrender their independence--an +ideal which they fortunately do not apply to their fathers and brothers, +whom they find it quite possible to love on a far lower and more human +level--that because a man does not fulfil this ideal, and is not a fairy +prince dowered with every possible gift, they refuse men who, though not +angels, would have made them happy as wife and mother. Would not a +little sound, sensible teaching be of great good here? Could we not +point out that, though in so vital and complex a union as the family +there must be some seat of ultimate authority, some court of final +appeal somewhere, and that the woman herself would not wish it to rest +anywhere else than in the man, if she is to respect him; yet there is no +subservience on the part of the wife in the obedience she renders, but +rather in South's grand words, "It is that of a queen to her king, who +both owns a subjection and remains a majesty"? Cannot we contend against +this falsehood of the age which seems so to underlie our modern life, +and which inclines us to look upon all obedience as a slavish +thing--that obedience which "doth preserve the stars from wrong," and +through which "the most ancient heavens are fresh and strong"; that +obedience which when absolute and implicit to the Divine will is "a +service of perfect freedom"? It is the profession which exacts +unquestionable obedience that forms the finest school for character, as +I have already pointed out. We do not hear of a Wellington or a Roberts +refusing to enter the service because they could not give up their +independence. Our military heroes at least know that it is through +discipline and obedience that they gain their real independence--the +independence of a strong character. + +Again, our girls need to be taught not only that there is nothing +derogatory in the married relation to the freest and fullest +independence of character, but surely in these days of open advocacy by +some popular writers of "les unions libres" and a freedom of divorce +that comes to much the same thing, they need to be taught the sanctity +of marriage--those first principles which hitherto we have taken for +granted, but which now, like everything else, is thrown into the +crucible and brought into question. They need definite teaching as to +the true nature of marriage; that it is no mere contract to be broken or +kept according to the individual contractor's convenience--I never yet +heard of a contract for bringing into existence, not a successful +machine, but a moral and spiritual being with infinite possibilities of +weal or woe, of heaven or hell--but a sacramental union of love and +life, with sacramental grace given to those who will seek it to live +happily and endure nobly within its sacred bounds--a union so deep and +mystical that even on its physical side our great physiologists are +wholly at a loss to account for some of its effects;[34] a union of +which permanence is the very essence, as on its permanence rests the +permanence and stability of the whole fabric of our life. It can never +be treated on an individualistic basis, though that is always the +tendency with every man and woman who has ever loved. In Mrs. Humphry +Ward's words: + + "That is always the way; each man imagines the matter is still for + his deciding, and he can no more decide it than he can tamper with + the fact that fire burns or water drowns. All these centuries the + human animal has fought with the human soul. And step by step the + soul has registered her victories. She has won them only by feeling + for the law and finding it--uncovering, bringing into light the + firm rocks beneath her feet. And on these rocks she rears her + landmarks--marriage, the family, the State, the Church. Neglect + them and you sink into the quagmire from which the soul of the race + has been for generations struggling to save you."[35] + +Fall on this rock, stumble into unhappiness and discontent, as so many +do in marriage, and you will be broken. But be faithful to it and to the +high traditions which generations of suffering men and women have worked +out for you, and you will be broken as the bud is broken into the +blossom, as the acorn is broken into the oak--broken into a higher and +stronger life. On the other hand rebel against it, attempt to drag it +down or cast it from its place, and it will crush you, and grind some +part of your higher nature to powder. How strangely and sadly is this +shown in the case of one of our greatest writers, who thought that the +influence of her writings would far outweigh the influence of her +example, but whose name and example are now constantly used by bad men +to overcome the virtue of young educated girls struggling alone in +London, and often half starving on the miserable pittance which is all +they can earn. But still more is it shown in the life of the nation +which tampers with the laws of marriage and admits freedom of divorce. +Either such suits must be heard _in camera_ without the shame of +exposure, when divorce is so facilitated that the family and the State +rest rather on a superstructure of rickety boards than on a rock; or +they must be heard in public court and form a moral sewer laid on to the +whole nation, poisoning the deepest springs of its life, and through +that polluted life producing far more individual misery than it +endeavors to remedy in dissolving an unhappy marriage. God only knows +what I suffered when a _cause celebre_ came on, and I felt that the +whole nation was being provided with something worse and more vitally +mischievous than the most corrupt French novel. + +Deeply do I regret--and in this I think most thoughtful minds will agree +with me--that the Reformers in their inevitable rebound from the +superstitions of Rome, rejected her teaching of the sacramental nature +of marriage, which has made so many Protestant nations tend to that +freedom of divorce which is carried to so great an extent in some parts +of America, and is spreading, alas! to many of our own colonies--a +laxity fatally undermining the sanctity and stability of the family. If +marriage be not a sacrament, an outward and visible sign of an inward +and spiritual life and grace, I ask what is? + +I would therefore earnestly beseech you to oppose your direct teaching +to the whole tendency of modern life, and to much of the direct teaching +of modern fiction--even of so great a novelist as George Meredith--which +inculcates the subordination of the marriage bond to what is called the +higher law of love, or rather, passion. In teaching your sons, and +especially your girls, who are far more likely to be led astray by this +specious doctrine, base marriage not on emotion, not on sentiment, but +on duty. To build upon emotion, with the unruly wills and affections of +sinful men, is to build, not upon the sand, but upon the wind. There is +but one immovable rock on which steadfast character, steadfast +relations, steadfast subordination of the lower and personal desires, +to the higher and immutable obligations and trusts and responsibilities +of life can be built--duty. When this rock has been faithfully clung +to, when in the midst of disillusionment and shattered ideals the noble +resolution has been clung to never to base personal happiness on a +broken trust or another's pain, I have over and over again known the, +most imperfect marriage prove in the end to be happy and contented. +Here again I quote some words of Mrs. Humphry Ward, which she puts into +the mouth of her hero: "No," he said with deep emphasis--"No; I have +come to think the most disappointing and hopeless marriage, nobly +borne, to be better worth having than what people call an 'ideal +passion'--if the ideal passion must be enjoyed at the expense of one of +those fundamental rules which poor human nature has worked out, with +such infinite difficulty and pain, for the protection and help of its +own weakness,"[36] I am aware that neither Mr. Grant Allen with his +"hill-top" novels, nor Mrs. Mona Caird need be taken too seriously, but +when the latter says, "There is something pathetically absurd in this +sacrifice to their children of generation after generation of grown +people,"[37] I would suggest that it would be still more pathetically +absurd to see the whole upward-striving past, the whole noble future of +the human race, sacrificed to their unruly wills and affections, their +passions and desires. If as Goldwin Smith says in his rough, incisive +way, "There is not much union of heart in marriage, I do not see that +there would be any more union of heart in adultery." + +I have dwelt thus earnestly upon this point because the sooner we +realize for ourselves and our girls that any relaxation of the marriage +bond will in its disastrous consequences fall upon us, and not upon men, +the better. It is the woman who first grows old and loses her personal +attractions, while a man often preserves his beauty into extreme old +age. It is the burdened mother of a family who cannot compete in +companionship with the highly cultured young unmarried lady, with the +leisure to post herself up in the last interesting book or the newest +political movement. It is the man who is the more variable in his +affections than the woman; more constant as she is by nature, as well +as firmly anchored down by the strength of her maternal love. It is +therefore on the woman that any loosening of the permanence of the +marriage tie will chiefly fall in untold suffering. "Le mariage c'est la +justice," say the French, who have had experience enough of "les unions +libres"--justice to the wife and mother, securing her the stability of +her right to her husband's affections, the stability to her right of +maintenance after she has given up her means of support, above all, the +stability of her right to the care of her own children. If we want to +study the innate misery to women arising from the relaxation of the +married tie, or transient unions, we had better read Professor Dowden's +_Life of Shelley_--misery not the result of public stigma, for there was +no such stigma in the circle in which Shelley moved, but misery brought +about by the facts themselves, and producing state of things which +Matthew Arnold could only characterize by the untranslatable French word +"_sale_." But nearer home, one of your most brilliant writers, Mr. Henry +James, has given us an equally profitable study in his novelette, _What +Maisie Knew_, which I presume is intended as a satire on freedom of +divorce, but which again can only be characterized by the French word +"_sale_." + +I confess it does fill me with sardonic laughter to find this oldest and +stalest of all experiments, this oldest and flattest of failures, +paraded as a brand new and original panacea for all the woes of our +family life,--woes which, if nobly borne, at least make "perfect through +suffering." + +There is but one great rock-hewn dam successfully reared against the +lawless passions of men and women, and that is Christian marriage. It +has at least given us the Christian home, and pure family life. And +sometimes it fills me with despair to see enlightened nations, like +America and Australia, whittling away and slowly undermining this great +bulwark against the devastating sea of human passion. If only I could +feel that any poor words of mine could in any faint measure rouse +American women to set themselves against what must in the end affect the +depth and steadfastness of those family affections on which the beauty +and solidity of the national character mainly rest, I should feel indeed +I had not lived in vain. + +At least I can claim that one of your greatest women, Frances Willard, +was heart and soul with me on this point. + +And now to descend to lower levels. Could we not do a little more to +save our young girls from sacrificing their happiness to false ideals by +opportunely obtruding a little mature common-sense into their day +visions and their inexperienced way of looking at things? It is all very +well in the heyday of life, when existence is full of delight and home +affection, to refuse a man who could make them happy, because they don't +quite like the shape of his nose, or because he is a little untidy in +his dress, or simply because they are waiting for some impossible +demigod to whom alone they could surrender their independence. But could +we not mildly point out that darker days must come, when life will not +be all enjoyment, and that a lonely old age, with only too possible +penury to be encountered, must be taken into consideration? + +God knows I am no advocate for loveless, and least of all for mercenary +marriages, but I think we want some _via media_ between the French +_mariage de convenance_ and our English and American method of leaving +so grave a question as marriage entirely to the whimsies and romantic +fancies of young girls. We need not go back to the old fallacy that +marriage is the aim and end of a woman's existence, and absolutely +necessary for her happiness. Some women are doubtless called to be +mothers of the race, and to do the social work which is so necessary to +our complex civilization. Some women may feel themselves called to some +literary or artistic pursuit, or some other profession, for which they +require the freedom of unmarried life. But I think I shall carry most +women with me in saying that for the ordinary woman marriage is the +happiest state, and that she rarely realizes the deepest and highest in +her nature except in wifehood and motherhood. Rarely, indeed, can any +public work that she can do for the world equal the value of that +priceless work of building up, stone by stone, the temple of a good +man's character which falls to the lot of his mother. Truly is she +called the wife, the weaver, since day and night, without hasting and +without resting, she is weaving the temple hangings, wrought about with +pomegranates and lilies, of the very shrine of his being. And if our +girls could be led to see this, at least it would overcome that +adverseness to marriage which many are now so curiously showing, and +which inevitably makes them more fastidious and fanciful in their +choice, And, on the other hand, without falling back into the old +match-making mamma, exposing her wares in the marriage market to be +knocked down to the highest bidder, might not parents recognize a little +more than they do how incumbent on them it is to make every effort to +give their daughters that free and healthy intercourse with young men +which would yield them a wider choice, and which forms the best method +for insuring a happy marriage? + +At least, let us open our eyes to the fact that we are face to face with +some terrible problems with regard to the future of our girls. With safe +investments yielding less and less interest, it must become more and +more difficult to make a provision for the unmarried daughters; and if +the money is spent instead on training them to earn their own bread, we +are still met by the problem of the early superannuation of women's +labor, which rests on physical causes, and cannot therefore be removed. +This at least is no time to despise marriage, or for women of strong and +independent character to adopt an attitude which deprives the nation of +many of its noblest mothers. + +But if we are to facilitate marriage, which must form, at any rate, the +main solution of the problems of the near future to which I have +alluded, if we are to prevent, or even lessen, the degradation of women, +if we are to extinguish this pit of destruction in our midst, into which +so many a fair and promising young life disappears, and which +perpetually threatens the moral and physical welfare of our own sons, if +we are to stay the seeds of moral decay in our own nation, we must be +content to revolutionize much in the order of our own life, and adopt a +lower and simpler standard of living. It is we, and not men, who set the +standard; it is we who have been guilty of the vulgar ambition of +following the last social fashion, and doing as our richer neighbors do, +until in England we have made our girls such expensive articles that +many young men simply dare not indulge in them, and are led to seek in +their luxurious clubs the comfort which they should find in a home of +their own, with all that relaxation of moral fibre which comes from club +life. Do we seriously think that we are likely successfully to contend +against the degradation of women by our Rescue Societies and our Refuges +when we are deliberately bringing about a social condition that +ministers to it? "Oh, of course," said a near relative of my own, "no +girl can marry comfortably and live in London with less than a thousand +a year." All I can answer is that if this be so, it means the +degradation of women writ large. + +And have we even secured the happiness of our own daughters by this high +standard of living which prevents so many of them from marrying at all? +These unmarried girls, with no worthy object in life to call out the +noble energies that lie dormant within them, "lasting" rather than +"living,"--are they really happy? Is not Robert Louis Stevenson right +when he says that "the ideal of the stalled ox is the one ideal that +will never satisfy either man or woman"? Were not the hardships of a +smaller income and a larger life--a life that would at least satisfy a +woman's worst foe, heart hunger,--more adapted to their true nature, +their true happiness? + +And to what further admirable results have we attained by this high +standard of comfort and luxury? Nature has carefully provided for the +equality of the sexes by sending rather more boys than girls into the +world, since fewer boys are reared; but we have managed to derange this +order. We have sent our boys out into the world, but we have kept our +girls at home, refusing to allow them to rough it with husbands and +brothers or to endure the least hardness. The consequence is that we +have nearly a million of surplus women in the old country, while in +America, and in our own colonies, we have a corresponding surplus of +men, with all the evil moral consequences that belong to a disproportion +between the sexes. Truly we may congratulate ourselves! + +I would therefore urge that if we are really to grapple with these moral +evils, we should simplify our standard of living, and educate our girls +very differently to what, at least in England, we are doing. Culture is +good, and the more we have of it the better; it gives a woman a wider +sphere of influence, as well as more enlightened methods of using that +influence. But if dead languages are to take the place of living +service; if high mathematics are to work out a low plane of cooking and +household management; if a first class in moral science is to involve +third class performance of the moral duties involved in family life, +then I deliberately say it were better that, like Tennyson's mother, we +should be + + "Not learned save in gracious household ways." + +I protest with the uttermost earnestness against the care of human life, +of human health, and of human comfort being considered a lower thing and +of less importance than good scholarship; or that, when we recognize +that months and even years will have to be devoted to the attainment of +the one, the arts by which we can fulfil those great human trusts which +devolve more or less upon every woman can be practised without ever +having been learnt at all. + +Do not misunderstand me. Do not think I am decrying a classical +education; and, as the daughter of a great mathematician, it is not +likely that I should underrate mathematics as a mental discipline. I am +only urging that they should be subordinated to higher and more +practical issues. + +I am thankfully aware that these remarks do not apply to American women +to the same degree in which they apply to our English girls. The paucity +of domestic servants, and the consequent pressure of necessity, have +saved you from the fine lady ideal which we have adopted for our girls +and the exclusively book education into which we have almost +unconsciously drifted. You have been constrained to choose some nobler +type on which to mould your scheme of female education than that of the +tadpole, which is all head, no hands, a much active and frivolous tail. +Your girls are brought up not to consider it beneath them to take part +in the work of the house; and something of the all round capability of +American women which so strikes us is doubtless owing to their not +having incurred "this Nemesis of disproportion," and therefore to their +combining intellectual culture with practical efficiency. + +Why we should have taken this fine lady ideal for our girls, when we +take such a much more practical standard for our boys, has always +puzzled me. If an excellent opening offered itself to one of our sons at +a bank, we should agree with his father in expecting him to take it, +though it would involve the drudgery of sitting in a cramped attitude on +a tall stool for hours and hours every day. Why should we accept life's +necessary drudgery for our boys and refuse it for our girls? No life +worth living can be had without drudgery,--the most brilliant as well as +the dullest. Darwin spent eight of the best years of his life in an +exhaustive investigation into the organization of a barnacle--labor +accompanied, as all intellectual work was with him, by a constant sense +of physical nausea from which he suffered, till, from sheer weariness +and disgust at the drudgery, he ends his researches in his emphatic way +with the exclamation, "D---- the barnacles!" At least a woman's +household drudgery does not end in a barnacle, or in dead coin, but in a +living and loved personality whose comfort and health it secures. +Blessed is drudgery, the homely mother of Patience, "that young and +rose-lipped cherubim," of quiet endurance, of persistency in well-doing, +of all the stablest elements of character. + +Do not let us refuse to our girls the divine hardness which is the very +heart of a diviner joy and of that "fuller life" of "which our veins are +scant," nor refuse for them and for ourselves the words of life: "As the +Father hath sent Me into the world, even so send I you"; but be content +to send them into the world to love, to suffer, to endure, to live and +die for the good of others. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 34: See some curious facts given in Darwin's _Origin of +Species_.] + +[Footnote 35: _David Grieve_, by Mrs. Humphry Ward, sixth edition, p. +401.] + +[Footnote 36: _David Grieve_, p. 524.] + +[Footnote 37: _Nineteenth Century_, May, 1892.] + + + + +CHAPTER X + +NATIONAL AND IMPERIAL ASPECTS + + +I cannot conclude these imperfect suggestions as to how we may best +carry up the moral training of our children, and especially of our boys, +to a higher level, without touching on the wider and national aspect of +the problems we have been considering. Especially is this necessary in +relation to that attribute which, in common parlance, arrogates to +itself the name that covers the vast sweep of all moral obligation and +calls itself emphatically "morality." "Language," Dr. Martineau has +finely said, "is the great confessional of the human heart"; and it may +be in some instinctive sense that this question of personal purity or +the reverse is the determining force for good or evil to the nation, as +well as to the family, that has given this restricted sense to the words +"morality" and "immorality." Yet we are possessed with an inveterate and +almost irreclaimable tendency to look at the question of purity of life +from a purely individualistic standpoint, and to regard it as a matter +concerning the individual rather than the social organism. In electing a +member for the Legislature how often have we not been told that we are +only concerned with his public career, and have nothing whatever to do +with his private life, though the private life is only another +expression for the man himself; and how can we be called upon to entrust +the destinies of our country to a libertine who habitually violates the +obligations of his own manhood and does his best to lower and degrade +the womanhood of the people he is called as a member of the Legislature +to protect and to raise? When shall we learn that whatever touches the +higher life and well-being of the family still more vitally affects the +wider family of the State, and threatens its disintegration? The family +in some lower form will survive in the most corrupt form of society; but +the State, as an organized polity, capable of embodying, preserving, and +promoting the higher life of the nation, perishes. + +I am the more led to dwell earnestly on these wider aspects, since that +great epoch-making commemoration which marked the sixtieth year of the +reign of our Queen, and which brought home to the consciousness of the +nation, as nothing else has ever done, its vast world-wide +responsibilities. That great national festival, with its proud imperial +note, in which we celebrated the rise and progress of that "larger +Venice with no narrow canals, but the sea itself for streets," will +forever form a landmark in English history. None who witnessed it will +ever forget that spectacle, of men of all races and color, of all creeds +and traditions, assembled together as brothers and fellow-subjects, to +do honor to a woman's gracious sway of sixty years. And is there not a +deep significance in the fact that these men of warring creeds and +opposed traditions came together to do homage to no commanding +personality, no Semiramis or Boadicea of old, no Catherine of Russia or +Elizabeth of England; but to a sovereign whose chief characteristic has +been that of being a true woman, with a true woman's instinctive +sagacity and wisdom of the heart: a woman with no glamour of youth and +beauty, but bowed with the weight of years and widowhood and cares of +State; a Queen who, on the morning of her crowning triumph, sent forth +no royal proclamation couched in set and pompous periods, but laid her +trembling hands on the bowed head of her people, and gave them a simple +mother's blessing: "Tell my beloved people that I pray from the bottom +of my heart that God may bless them"? + +May I not take it as the very embodiment of all that I have been urging +on the women of this day, the immense possibilities of good that lie +latent in our womanhood, the vast issues of good to the nation, and +through it to the world, if that womanhood is only true to itself? + +For let us clearly realize that this great moral question is no question +confined to the narrow limits of the home, but a question of the rise +and fall of nations. This is a truism of history. All history teaches us +that the welfare and very life of a nation is determined by moral +causes; and that it is the pure races that respect their women and guard +them jealously from defilement that are the tough, prolific, ascendant +races, the noblest in type and the most fruitful in propagating +themselves. You will never find a permanently progressive race where the +position of women is low, the men libertine, and the state of society +corrupt. What was it that made the most brilliant civilization the world +has ever seen--the civilization which still gives us the inexhaustible +wells of our intellectual life--what was it that made it the +shortest-lived? Few, I think, would deny that the rapid decadence of +Greece, despite her splendid intellectual life, was due to moral causes. +Not the pure, but the impure--the brilliant Hetairae--were the companions +of men, and the men themselves were stained with nameless vices. +Speaking of the decay of the Athenian people, Mr. Francis Galton says: +"We know, and may guess something more, of the reason why this +marvellously gifted race declined. Social morality grew exceedingly lax; +marriage became unfashionable and was avoided; many of the more +ambitious and accomplished women were avowed courtesans, and +consequently infertile; and the mothers of the incoming population were +of a heterogeneous class."[38] What was it that made the Egyptian +civilization one of the longest-lived of ancient civilizations? Was it +not, as we now find by her monuments, that the position of women was +high; the wife was enthroned by the side of her husband, and impurity +was condemned by the moral sense of the nation? What was it that enabled +our barbaric ancestors, the Teutons, to overthrow the whole power of +civilized Rome? On the authority of Tacitus, we know that they were +singularly pure. Their women were held in the highest reverence, and +believed to have something divine about them, some breath of prophetic +insight. Their young men were not allowed to marry till they were +five-and-twenty--in other words, till their frame was thoroughly +matured. Impurity before marriage was strongly discountenanced in both +sexes. Therefore the whole power of Rome, honeycombed as it was by moral +corruption and sexual vice, could not stand before these pure +barbarians. + +And if these mighty civilizations have perished from moral causes, do we +really think that the moral law--will + + "Of which the solid earth and sky + Are but the fitful shadows cast on high"-- + +suspend its operation out of compliment to the greatness of the British +empire or of the American Republic, if they, too, become morally +corrupt; or will not those old vanished nations, in the magnificent +words of the Hebrew prophet, greet the phantom of their departed +greatness in the land of shadows: "What, art thou, also, become weak as +we? Art thou also like unto us? Thy pomp is brought down to the grave; +the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee." + + "We talk of our greatness," says Mr. Froude; "do we really know in + what a nation's greatness consists? Whether it be great or little + depends entirely on what sort of men and women it is producing. A + sound nation is a nation that is made up of sound human beings, + healthy in body, strong of limb, true in word and deed, brave, + sober, temperate, and chaste, to whom morals are of more importance + than wealth or knowledge; where duty is first and the rights of man + are second; where, in short, men grow up, and live, and work, + having in them what our ancestors called 'the fear of God.' It is + to form a character of this kind that human beings are sent into + the world. Unless England's greatness in this sense has the + principle of growth in it, it were better for us that a millstone + were hanged about our neck, and that we were drowned in the midst + of the sea." + + "I feel more and more," said Mrs. Fawcett in words addressed to a + great meeting of men in the Manchester Free Trade Hall--words that + I wish could be written upon every heart--" that the great question + whether the relations of men and women shall be pure and virtuous + or impure and vile lies at the root of all national well-being and + progress. The main requisite towards a better state of things than + now exists cannot be brought about by any outside agency. There is + no royal road to virtue and purity. Law can do something to punish + wickedness, but improvement in the law is mainly valuable as an + indication that the public standard of morality is raised. Let us + get good laws if we can; but there is only one way of really + obtaining a nobler national existence, and that is by each of us + individually learning to hate and detest the vile self-indulgence + that covers the life of those who are the victims of it with shame + and degradation. Self-control and respect for the rights of others + are the only cure for the terrible national danger which threatens + us. If men and women would learn never to take pleasure in what + brings pain, shame, misery, and moral death to others, earth would + be turned into a heaven. It would be incredible if it were not true + that for mere selfish indulgence thousands of men are willing to + drag women down to what even these men themselves recognize as the + lowest dregs of humanity. Where is their chivalry? Where is their + common humanity? Some would say that such men do not possess + either. For my part, I do not believe this. Let women thankfully + acknowledge that, so far as other matters are concerned, they are + constantly indebted to the chivalrous self-sacrifice of men. + Chivalry is not dead; generous self-sacrifice is not dead; but in + far too many cases, with regard to the all-important question of + personal purity, they are sleeping. Our efforts must be directed to + awakening them. We must try and make men realize the callous + cruelty of all actions which lower the womanhood of even the + poorest and most degraded of women." + +And if we refuse, sunk in our own selfish interests and pleasures, and +content that the daughters of the people should perish as long as our +own are safe, then it will not be by an European coalition that the +British Empire will perish, it will be by moral decay from within; in +Blake's rough, strong words: + + "The harlot's curse from street to street + Shall be old England's winding sheet." + +The British Empire, the great American Republic, the two greatest +civilizing, order-spreading, Christianizing world-powers ever known, can +only be saved by a solemn league and covenant of their women to bring +back simplicity of life, plain living, high thinking, reverence for +marriage laws, chivalrous respect for all womanhood, and a high standard +of purity for men and women alike. + +Suffer me to lay before you three considerations, which will prove to +you at once that this great moral question is more vital to our two +nations than to any other, and that we are peculiarly vulnerable to the +action of moral causes. + +Firstly, England, and in one sense England alone, is the mighty mother +of nations. Three great nations have already sprung from her loins; a +fourth in Africa is already in process of consolidation. From the narrow +confines of our sea-girt island our people pour into all quarters of the +globe; and if we suffer England to know corruption we send forth +polluted waters into all lands. Your great Republic, on the other hand, +is a mother of nations in another sense, since she receives into her +mighty bosom vast numbers drawn from the suffering peoples of the old +world, and gives them a mother's welcome. According as your civilization +is high and pure, or low and corrupt, so will those naturalized citizens +be. Decay with great empires, as with fish, sets in at the head; and the +moral decadence of England and America will sensibly lower the moral +standard of nearly one-third of the population of the world.[39] The +heart of the two nations is still sound. It is not too late. We are at +least free from the continental system, by which the degradation of +women is reduced to a systematized slavery, to meet what is openly +called a necessity of nature. The comparative purity of Englishmen and +Americans is still a wonder, and often a derision to foreigners. Our +women are a greater power than in any other country. We still start from +a good vantage-ground. + +England, certainly through no merit of her own, has been called by the +providence of God to lead in great moral causes. We led in the matter of +slavery--the open sore of the world. We English and American women are +now called to lead, in this its hidden sore, for the healing of the +nations. + +Secondly, since you have elected to go beyond your own confines and have +dependencies, and so take up the white man's burden of civilizing and +Christianizing the world, your men as well as ours will be exposed to +that dangerously lowering influence, contact with lower races and alien +civilizations. An Englishman in India, if he be not a religious man, is +apt to blind himself to wrongs done to womanhood, because those wrongs +are often done to a pariah caste who are already set apart for infamy; +though I have not yet heard of an Englishman possessing himself of +slaves on the ground that they were slaves already to their native +masters. Worse still, in savage or semi-civilized countries the native +girl, far from feeling herself degraded, considers that she is raised by +any union, however illicit, with a white man. It is the native men who +are furious. Which of us in England did not feel an ache of shame in our +hearts over the plea of the Matabele to the white man: "You have taken +our lands, and our hunting-grounds are gone. You have taken our herds, +and we want for food. You have taken our young men, and made them slaves +in your mines. You have taken our women _and done what you like with +them_." How many of our native wars may not have had as their cause that +last sentence in the plaint of the Matabele, a cause carefully concealed +from the public eye? For God's sake, let mothers teach their sons that +first rudiment in manly character, the recognition that the girls of a +conquered race, or of a barbarian tribe inhabiting one of our spheres of +influence, from the very fact that they are a conquered race, or, if not +conquered, hopelessly and piteously in our power, are _ipso facto_ a +most sacred trust to us, which it is both unmanly and bestial to +violate. Especially I would plead with mothers to send us pure men for +our army--officers who will set their men a high example of chivalry +towards the weakest native woman, and who will so influence them by +example and personal influence that they may look upon voluntarily +disabling themselves from active service, while still taking the +government pay, as unmanly and unsoldierly. Give us men who can say with +a non-commissioned officer writing home to one of our White Cross +secretaries: "I have been out in India now eleven years and have never +had a day's illness; and I think the whole secret of my good health is +total abstinence from all that intoxicates, and that I honor all women +as I honor my mother or any of my sisters." + +Thirdly, the hardest thing on earth is not to slay a sin, but to get it +buried; and the hardest of all sins to get under ground is the sin of +impurity. It is largely due to the low standard of purity among men that +we owe the almost insoluble problem presented by the existence of the +large Eurasian population in India, and of the half-caste generally. + + "The universal unanimity of the popular verdict on the half-caste + is remarkable," says Olive Schreiner in some powerful articles + published in _Blackwood_ on the problems presented by our Colonial + Empire. "The half-caste, it is asserted in every country where he + is known, whether it be in America, Asia, or Africa, and whether + his ancestors be English and negroid Spanish and Indian, or Boer + and Hottentot,--the self-caste is by nature anti-social. It is + always asserted that he possesses the vices of both parent races + and the virtues of neither: that he is born especially with a + tendency to be a liar, cowardly, licentious, and without + self-respect." + +Olive Schreiner herself is the first to admit that there are exceptions. +She says: + + "The fact that amongst the most despised class of our laboring + half-castes we have all met individuals, not only of the highest + integrity, but of rare moral beauty and of heroic and fully + developed social feelings, does not impugn the theory of his + unfortunate position. If you should sow human seed inside the door + of hell, some of it would yet come up white lilies. But as a rule + the popular verdict on the half-caste is not overdrawn." + +I strongly agree with Mrs. Schreiner that this lamentable result is not +due solely, or even chiefly, to the admixture of races, but far more to +the circumstances in which he has been born and bred. He has originated +in almost all cases, not from the union of average individuals of the +two races uniting under average conditions, but as the result of a +sexual union between the most helpless and enslaved females of the dark +race and the most recklessly dominant males of the white. "He enters a +world in which there was no place prepared for him." His father was +about as sensible of his parental obligations towards him as a toad +towards its spawn in the next ditch. To him he "was a broken wineglass +from last night's feast." "Often without a family, always without a +nation or race, without education or moral training, and despised by the +society in which he was born," is it any wonder that the half-caste is +the curse of the community in which he is found;--one of those whips, as +Shakespeare reminds us, that "heaven makes out of our pleasant vices" to +"scourge" us into some sense of their seriousness? + +If you would not incur that curse, that insoluble problem of the +half-caste, then in both your civil and military services send out men +of clean hearts and lives into your dependencies, Alas! in your great +military camps during your Spanish war a moral laxity was allowed, +which, had it been attempted in the Egyptian campaign, Lord Kitchener +would have stamped out with a divine fury. I had it from an eyewitness, +but the details are wholly unfit for publication. + +I do not hold with our "little Englanders" that the possession of an +empire is a disaster; on the contrary, I hold that it constitutes a +splendid school for the formation of strong character,--of men who are +the very salt of the earth,--and that the sense of a great mission to be +fulfilled tends to give a nobility of soul to the whole nation; while +even the wars it may involve prove the vultures of God swooping down on +the hidden social rottennesses which in prolonged peace may breed +unnoticed and unreproved. We have never forgotten the bitter lessons of +the Crimean war which laid bare our miserable incompetence in +organizing, and the moral rottenness of our English firms that could +supply our soldiers with paper-soled boots and bayonets that bent at a +thrust, when the very life of our brave fellows depended on their being +well armed and well shod. + +America will never forget the sufferings of her wounded in the Spanish +war, sufferings caused by the like dishonesty in the goods supplied and +the like criminal incompetency which failed to provide them even with +necessaries. + +But I do say that an empire presents many difficult problems, and that +the men who accept its responsibilities need a sound head, clean hands, +and above all a pure heart. + +Let me in conclusion relate an incident which happened in the wreck of +the _Warren Hastings_, to which I have already alluded,--an incident +which I can never tell without a breaking voice and eyes full of tears. +In that awful night of storm and darkness and iminent shipwreck, the +officer in command, after ordering his men below to lighten the crowded +deck, stationed two of his men at a narrow gangway through which he +feared an ugly rush for life might be made, while the women and children +were being embarked, bidding them on no account to leave their post till +he gave them the word of command. At length the women and the sick had +all been saved in the boats. This done, and not till then, the men had +saved themselves, some by boats, some by life preservers; and last of +all the captain and officer in command were proceeding to leave the fast +foundering ship, when the latter heard a voice close to him, saying, +"Colonel, may we leave now?" It was the voice of one of his two +sentinels. In the stress and strain of the awful scenes of that night he +had for the moment forgotten that he had ordered them not to leave their +post until he gave the word of command. And he said that _the water was +almost up to their lips_! + +Oh ye mothers of America and of our great Empire! send us such men as +these,--men who will mount guard over women and children in all lands, +and see, as far as in them lies, that they do not make shipwreck of +what is dearer than life;--men who, even with the bitter waters of +temptation up to their own lips, will still hold their post and see that +no man, to save himself, drives them down into that dread sea of +perdition which never gives up its dead. + +Then East, West, North, South, the American flag will witness in the +face of all nations to the true manhood that steers its course by no +earth-born fires of passion and selfish lust, but by the eternal stars, +the heavenly lights of God, and mother, and duty, and home. + +East, West, North, South, by its side our flag, twice scored with the +White Cross, will float wide in the face of all nations the Englishman's +faith, reverence for womanhood, self-giving manhood, and the pure heart +that sees God. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 38: _Hereditary Genius_, by Francis Galton, p. 331.] + +[Footnote 39: Great Britain, since the conquest of the Soudan, rules +one-fourth of the population of the world.] + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE DYNAMIC ASPECT OF EVIL[40] + + +There remains yet one other way in which I earnestly desire to help you +if I can. I would fain afford you some light on this difficult problem +and give you a spring of hope within by enabling you to see what it is +working out in the world without. Some, I know, do not need this help. +Some wholesome souls seem to gaze on all evil with sun-dazzled +eyes--eyes that see Him in whom they walk, and not it, and in His light +they see light. They are the "naturally Christian" souls who lead +melodious days amid all the jars and discords of the world around them. +Others there are who seem to look upon these great social evils as +especially provided to afford a sphere for their beneficent activities; +and who if, by some sudden rise in public opinion, some passionate sense +of the wrong done to women, the degraded class should almost cease to +exist, would in their heart of hearts secretly regret so many empty beds +in their little Rescue Home and the possibility that it might have to be +shut up, when "the girls did turn out so well." Others, again, there are +who never trouble their heads or hearts about the misery and sin of the +world, or any social problem, however dark, as long as their own house +is comfortable, their own bed soft, and their own children healthy and +well cared for, never dreaming how those social evils may press upon +those children in their after-life. These are in no need of this kind of +help. But there are many thoughtful mothers, possibly an increasing +number with the increase of knowledge that is coming to all women, from +whose heart there is going up a bitter cry, "Why, oh why is all this +evil permitted?" Why is there this nameless moral difficulty at the very +heart of our life which our whole soul revolts from contemplating? Why +has Nature made these passions so strong that she seems wholly +regardless of all considerations of morality?[41] + +Some there are who feel that all infidel books are mere curl-paper in +comparison with the terrible facts of life, some who are in danger of +having all faith crushed out of them-- + + "Beneath the weary and the heavy weight + Of all this unintelligible world." + +It is these who need, like myself, as a first step to strong action, to +see something of what God is working out by the evil and suffering of +the world, to see it as a part of a vast redemptive whole, not as a +great exception in our life, but working under the same law by which, in +the words of the ancient collect, "things which are cast down are being +raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and all +things are returning to perfection through Him from whom they had their +origin." + +Now, do not think that I am going to indulge in a dissertation on the +origin of evil or why the world is so full of sin and misery. This is +insoluble. You cannot solve a problem which has only one term. Your +unknown quantity must have some known factor or factors related to it, +or you cannot resolve it into the known. In this great claim of cause +and effect, where all things are related and interdependent, you can +only know a related thing through its relations. Try to account for a +bit of chalk, for instance, and consider all you must know in order to +enable you to do so. To account for its weight you must know something +about the motion of the whole planetary system and the law of gravity +that controls that system; to account for the weather-stains upon it, +you must know something about chemical reaction; to account for its +being chalk and not flint, you must know something of the geological +ages of the earth, and how it comes to be built up of little sea-shells; +to account for its hardness, you must know something of the intricacies +of molecular physics. All this you must know to account for a mere bit +of chalk. How, then, can we expect to understand the problem of the +world when we know absolutely nothing of its relations with the great +moral and spiritual whole to which it belongs, and without the knowledge +of which it must for ever remain an insoluble problem, presenting one +term only, an enigma of which we do not possess the key? + +But though we cannot understand the origin of evil and why the world is +as it is, we can understand something of the processes which are at work +for good or ill. We can in a measure trace whether these processes are +making slowly but surely for righteousness, or whether all the sin and +the suffering are aimless and purposeless, a voice that cries "believe +no more," + + "An ever breaking shore + That tumbles in a godless deep." + +Now, I contend that the only ground of despair, the only thing that +might-shut us up to pessimism and to "a philosophy only just above +suicide mark," would be not the presence but the absence of these great +world evils. If this world presented a dead-level of comfortable +selfishness that on the whole answered fairly well all round, an economy +of petty self-interests in stable equilibrium, a world generally wrong, +but working out no evil in particular to set it right, a society in +which every man was for himself, and not the devil, as at present, but +God for us all--then indeed we might despair. But who can contemplate +humanity as it is, that broken stair of the Divinity, whose top is in +the unapproachable light of heaven and whose lowest step rests not on +earth but in hell, without feeling that it is destined for an infinite +progress, destined for the ascending feet of angels? Who that gazes on +this world, with its infinite depths of pain, its heavy weight of evil, +its abysmal falls, its stupendous pressures of wrong and misery, but +feels that here, if anywhere, we are in the presence of kinetic +energies, of immense moral and spiritual forces, capable of raising the +whole of fallen humanity to the heights of the Divine. For let us +remember that in the moral and spiritual world, as well as in the +physical, no fall but carries with it the force that can be converted +into a rise; no dread resistance of wrong to the right but creates an +accumulated force which once let loose can transform an empire; no +weight of evil but, in pulling it down, can be made to raise the whole +bent of our life. + + "Man partly is, and wholly hopes to be." + +He is "no finite and finished clod." Progress, as Browning says, is his +distinctive mark, and these deep evils are the gigantic steps by which +he rises as he treads them under foot. Once recognize the fact that he +is a fallen being--and by that I mean no theological dogma, but a truth +of life, which, whatever our creed may be, must stare us in the +face--the fact that he is a being knowing good but choosing evil, +capable of an ideal but habitually falling below it, no mere automaton, +but possessed of a spiritual will and an accusing conscience--I ask how +else can he be educated, in the true sense of the word, and raised from +death unto life except by being made to educe his own results and work +out his evil premiss to the bitter end, till he is forced to go back +upon himself, and recognize the right principle which he has violated? +The very law of his being, of every being who is being raised from death +unto life, is, that he can only know life through death, only grasp good +by grappling with evil, only gain knowledge by knowing ignorance; his +highest must be sown in weakness before it can be raised in power, must +be sown in dishonor before it can be raised in glory. + +Look back over the past and see if it is not in conflict with these +great world evils, themselves the results of man's moral blindness and +sin, that we have worked out the true principles of our life, the higher +possibilities of our humanity. + +Take the most elementary case first, man's disobedience to the physical +laws under which he must live to have a sound mind in a sound body. Man +in his primitive stages is emphatically not a clean animal. On the +contrary, he is a very dirty one. He has none of the cat's dainty +neatness and cleanliness, none of her instinctive recognition of the +deodorizing and purifying power of the earth, that makes the foulest +thing once buried spring up in fresh grass and fragrant flowers. He has +nothing of the imperative impulse of the little ant which he treads +under his lordly feet to shampoo his brother, let alone himself. It has +needed the discipline and the suffering of the ages to evolve that great +banner of progress, the clean shirt. From what great world pestilences +has he not had to suffer as the consequences of his own uncleanliness! +Cholera has been rightly called the beneficent sanitary inspector of the +world. With what foul diseases, the very details of which would sicken, +has he not had to be scourged withal to get him to recognize and obey +the one Divine injunction, "Wash and be clean"! Truly his knowledge and +recognition of sanitary law, his "physical righteousness," has had to be +sown in the weakness and corruption of disease before it could be raised +to the power of a recognized law of life, insuring that cleanliness +which is next to godliness. + +Again, take the great principle of national freedom,--that a nation has +a right to govern its own destinies. With what world tyrannies and +oppressions, the outcome of man's selfish lust of power and wealth, have +not the peoples had to fight and struggle in order at length to win and +get recognized that principle of freedom without which a nation can be +neither strong nor holy, neither a citadel nor a temple! The Iron Duke +used to say, "There is but one thing worse than a battle gained, and +that is a battle lost." Yet what battles lost and what battles gained, +with all their sickening sights and sounds-- + + "Oaths, insults, filth, and monstrous blasphemies, + Sweat, writhings, anguish, laboring of lungs, + In that close mist, and cryings for the light, + Moans of the dying and voices of the dead"; + +what bloody conflicts through the long ages have not had to be fought +out to gain this freedom! Truly we might apostrophize Freedom in the +words of the Hebrew prophet: "Who is this that cometh with her garments +dyed in blood?" Through what long centuries did not what Sir John Seeley +called the "mechanical theory of government" survive, the theory which +recognized no vital bond of blood and historical tradition between a +people and its government, but looked upon nations as royal appanages, +to be banded about with royal alliances and passed under an alien sway +without consent on its own part! Did it not require a Napoleon to work +out this false premiss to its bitter end, drenching Europe in blood to +gratify his own greed of power, and reducing nation after nation to his +alien and despotic rule, till it was felt to be intolerable, and with a +convulsive struggle Europe threw off the yoke? Truly a struggle which +was the birth-throes of national sentiment and the recognition that the +tie between the governed and the governing must be an organic one, a tie +of blood from within, not a force from without--in one word, the +recognition of the great principle of national freedom which, when the +nation is sufficiently developed and self-disciplined to be fit for it, +is the great mother of progress. Sown in the corruption of those mangled +and decaying corpses on many an awful battle-field, freedom is raised to +the glory of an incorruptible truth of national life. + +Once again, was it not in his age-long conflict with the great world +evil of slavery that man worked out the true nature of a moral +personality? Man started at the outset with the evil premiss of the +right of the strong to possess himself of the weak and the conquered, +and enslave him for his own use, shunting the toil and burden of life +upon his bowed shoulders. Through long ages he had to work out this +wrong premiss in disaster to empires through the laziness and +worthlessness of their ruling classes engendered by slave labor, in the +dumb suffering and bitter wrongs of millions of enslaved men and women. +Through centuries the Church protested against these wrongs in vain, +since the evil root, in the face of all protests, will go on bearing +the evil fruit. England, herself the mother of free peoples, was stained +with the guilt of being one of the first to originate the worst form of +slavery that the world has ever seen, the African slave-trade, her great +Queen Elizabeth not scorning to enrich her royal coffers out of the +profits of slave-raiding expeditions conducted by her sea-captains. It +needed the horrors of this latest development of the principle of +slavery, the horrors of the middle passage, of whole regions of Africa +decimated to supply the slave market, of mothers torn from their +children, or, worse still, compelled to bear them to their slave +masters, only to see them in their turn sold to some far-off station; of +the degradation of men and women brought up in heathen ignorance lest +they should use their knowledge to rebel--it needed all this weight of +evil and disaster at last to rouse the conscience of Europe to recognize +that slavery was wrong in itself and to cast out the evil premiss on +which it rested. By the mere force of moral revulsion in England, by the +throes of a great civil war engendered by slavery in America, at last +the true nature of a moral personality got itself recognized,--the +inviolability of personal responsibility, the sanctity of the +individual, the sacredness of freedom,--those great principles on which +the whole of our public and political life are founded. And I make bold +to say that these principles were gained as a heritage for all time, not +by the preaching of abstract justice, not by any consideration of the +moral beauty of liberty, but mainly by a remorseful passion over the +wrongs and the degradation of the slave. These great principles were +sown in weakness and dishonor, to be raised in honor and in the power of +an endless life. + +When, therefore, the Church of the living God awakes, as she is just +beginning to do, and closes in a life and death struggle with this far +deeper and more pervasive evil of the degradation of women and children, +which she has too long accepted as a melancholy necessity of human +nature, may we not find in the course of that conflict that wholly new +powers and new principles are being evolved, and that the apparent +impossibilities of our nature are only its divine possibilities in +disguise? May we not work out the true principles, not now of our public +and political life, but of the home, of the family, of personal conduct +and character--all those great moral bases on which the whole social +structure rests for its stability? Granted that this is the deepest and +strongest of all our world evils, that which is the most firmly based on +the original forces of our nature, and of that part of our nature which +has shown the deepest disorder--does not all this point to some great +issue? That which has been sown in such deep dishonor, will it not be +raised in some glory that excelleth? + +If God has suffered mighty empires and whole kingdoms to be wrecked on +this one evil; if He has made it throughout the Old Scriptures the +symbol of departure from Himself, and closely associated monogamic love +with monotheistic worship, teaching us by the history of all ancient +idolatries that the race which is impure spawns unclean idols and +Phrygian rites; if Nature attaches such preciousness to purity in man +that the statistics of insurance offices value a young man's life at +twenty-five, the very prime of well-regulated manhood, at exactly +one-half of what it is worth at fourteen, owing, Dr. Carpenter does not +hesitate to say, to the indulgence of the passions of youth; if the +tender Father, "who sits by the death-bed of the little sparrow," has +not thought it too great a price to pay that countless women and +children should be sunk to hell without a chance in this life, in a +degradation that has no name, but which, in its very depth, measures the +height of the sanctity of womanhood; do we think that all these +stupendous issues are for no end and to work out no purpose? Do we not +feel at once that we stand here at the very centre of the mighty forces +that are moulding men to nobler shape and higher use? + +Here, at least, is a force, if we will only use it, so weighted with +public disaster, with national decay, with private misery, that it +insists on making itself felt if there be a spark of life left and the +nation has not become mere dead carcase for the vultures of God's +judgments to prey upon. Here alone is a power strong enough to compel us +to simplify our life and restore its old divine order of marriage and +hard work, of "plain living and high thinking," which luxury and +self-ease are fast undermining. Here, in the slain of the daughters of +our people, is a stinging wrong that will goad us into seeing that the +people are so housed that a human life is possible to them. Here, if +anywhere, is a passion of conscience, and pity, and duty, and interest +combined, strong enough, a heaped-up weight of evil heavy enough, to +raise us to a self-giving manhood and a self-reverencing womanhood. + +And from this secret place of thunder is not God now calling His chosen +ones to come forward and be fellow-workers with Him? And when that call +is obeyed, when, to summarize what I have already said, the wrongs and +degradation of women and hapless children take hold of men, as, thank +God, they are beginning to take hold, with a remorseful passion, that +passion for the weak, the wronged, and the defenceless, which surely is +the divine in flower in a human soul; when women rise up in a wild +revolt against + + "The law that now is paramount, + The common law by which the poor and weak + Are trampled under foot of vicious men, + And loathed forever after by the good"; + +when the Christian Church at length hears the persistent interrogation +of her Lord, "Seest thou this woman?" and makes answer, "Yea, Lord, I +see that she is young, and poor, and outcast, and degraded," and speaks +to young men with something of the passion of the true Man--"It were +better for you that a millstone were hanged about your neck and you cast +into the depths of the sea, than that you should cause one of these +little ones to stumble"; when the fact that a foolish, giddy girl's feet +have slipped and fallen is no longer the signal for every man to look +upon her as fair game, and to trample her deeper into the mire, but the +signal to every man calling himself a man to hasten to her side, to +raise her up again and restore her to her lost womanhood; when boys are +taught from their earliest years that if they would have a clear brain, +a firm nerve, and a strong muscle, they must be pure, and purity is +looked upon as manly, at least, as much as truth and courage; when women +are no longer so lost to the dignity of their own womanhood as to make +companions of the very men who insult and degrade it; when the woman +requires the man to come to her in holy marriage in the glory of his +unfallen manhood, as he requires her to come to him in the beauty of her +spotless maidenhood; then, when these things begin to be, will not God's +order slowly evolve itself out of our disorder, and the man will become +the head of the woman, to guard her from all that makes her unfit to be +the mother of the race, and the woman will be the heart of the man, to +inspire him with all noble purpose? As we stand by this great +world-sepulchre of corruption our unbelieving heart can only exclaim: +"It stinketh." But the Christ meets us with the words, "Said I not unto +thee that if thou wouldst believe, thou shouldst see the glory of God?" +That which has been sown in human weakness must be raised in divine +power; that which has been sown in deep dishonor must be raised in +glory. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, even the +self-giving manhood of Him who is the Prince of Passion and the Lord of +Love, the manhood lifted into God. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 40: In this chapter I have quoted some passages from an +article of mine, "The Apocalypse of Evil," which appeared in the +_Contemporary Review_, and received the strong commendation of Dr. +Lightfoot, then Bishop of Durham. Many of the thoughts I owe to my +friend, James Hinton, to whom my obligations on this subject are +absolute.] + +[Footnote 41: We must be careful, however, in urging this difficulty, to +remember Dr. Martineau's teaching, which I have given in the third +chapter, and bear in mind that the evil here is due to man's disorder, +and not to Nature's order. In the animal world the reproductive +instincts work out as orderly results as all other natural instincts, +and are no stronger than is necessary for the preservation of the race.] + + + + +CONCLUSION + + +And it is this great upward movement, lifting man to a higher level, +which is given into the hands of us women, touching, as it does, all the +great trusts of our womanhood. What are we women going to do in the face +of such vast issues for good or evil? + +Undoubtedly we stand at the parting of the ways. In England undoubtedly +the old high traditions of English society have, at least in what is +called the "Upper Ten," been lowered and vulgarized. Our literature is +no longer as clean and wholesome as it was. The greater freedom that +women enjoy has not always been put to high uses. And all around us in +both countries the old order is changing, and the new order is not yet +born. Old positions are becoming untenable, with the higher position and +culture of women. It is becoming an impossibility for intelligent women +with a knowledge of physiology and an added sense of their own dignity +to accept the lower moral standard for men, which exposes them to the +risk of exchanging monogamy for a peculiarly vile polygamy--polygamy +with its sensuality, but without its duties--bringing physical risks to +their children and the terrible likelihood of an inherited moral taint +to their sons. It is an impossibility, now that mothers know, that they +should remain indifferent as to what sort of manhood they send out into +the world--the so-called manhood that either makes and maintains the +miserable sinner of our streets or is content to give a tainted name to +the mother of his child, or the true manhood lifted into God, whose +marriage is the type of the eternal union of God and the soul, of Christ +and the Church, and whose fatherhood claims kinship with the Father of +lights. It is impossible for women who are agitating for the +enfranchisement of their sex to accept as a necessary class in the midst +of a democratical society a class of citizens who, in Dr. Welldon's[42] +words, addressed to the University of Cambridge, "have lost once for all +time the rights of citizenship--who are nobody's wives, nobody's +sisters, nobody's friends, who live a living death in the world of men. +There are one hundred and fifty thousand such citizens,--perhaps far +more, in England and Wales--_and all are women_." + +These old positions are simply impossible, each a moral _reductio ad +absurdam_. We must institute a new and higher order. To do so we women +must unite in a great silent movement, a temple slowly rising up beneath +our hands without sound of axe or hammer. It will not make itself heard +on platforms; its cry will not be heard in our streets. It will go on +beneath the surface of our life, probably unheeded and unnoticed of +men. Women must educate women; those who know must teach those who are +in ignorance. Let mothers who have been roused to the greatness of the +issues at stake take as their field of labor the young mothers whom they +may know--possibly their own married daughters or nieces, possibly those +who are only bound to them by ties of friendship. Use this book, if you +will. If there are things in it which you don't approve of--and oh, how +much of the divine patience of our Lord do we need with one another in +dealing with this difficult question--cut out those pages, erase that +passage, but do not deny those young mothers the necessary knowledge to +guard the nursery or save their boys at school. And then try and follow +it up by quietly talking over the difficulties and the best method of +encountering them. Let us deny ourselves in order to give to +associations or institutions for the elevation of women, as well as to +that excellent society for men, the White Cross, which is spreading its +purifying work through both countries.[43] Let us do what we can to help +in organizing women's labor, so that a living wage may be secured and +no woman be driven by starvation into selling herself for a morsel of +bread. Let us endeavor to secure the franchise that we may have the +power of legislating for the protection of women on the one point on +which we stand in sharp opposition to all but good men; especially such +measures as raising the age of consent, so deplorably low in some of +your States, that your children are almost without legal protection; +resisting State regulation of vice in the army; cleansing the streets by +an Act pressing equally on men and women, and many others which will +suggest themselves to you. But let us, at the same time, clearly +recognize that the remedy must lie deeper than any external agency--must +be as deep as life itself, and must be worked out in the silence of our +own hearts and of our own homes. We must restore the law of God, quietly +but firmly insisting on the equal moral standard for men and women +alike; and we must maintain the sanctity and permanence of the marriage +bond as ordained by Christ himself. + +I say again I do not think, I simply _know_, by my own experience, that +men will rise to any standard which women choose to set them. Ruskin's +noble words are the simple truth: + + "Their whole course and character are in your hands; what you would + have them be they shall be, if you not only desire to have them so, + but deserve to have them so, for they are but mirrors in which you + will see yourselves imaged.... You fancy, perhaps, as you have been + told so often, that a wife's rule should only be over her husband's + house, not over his mind. Ah no! the true rule is just the reverse + of that: a true wife, in her husband's house, is his servant; it is + in his heart that she is queen. Whatever of best he can conceive, + it is her part to be; whatever of highest he can hope, it is hers + to promise. All that is dark in him she must purge into purity; all + that is failing in him she must strengthen into truth; from her, + through all the world's clamor, he must win his praise; in her, + through all the world's warfare, he must find his peace." + +Last, but not least, we must set ourselves to make our lives simpler and +plainer, and oppose the ever-increasing luxury and love of pleasure, +with its sure and certain result, a relaxed moral fibre, which, to a +race called to such high destinies and difficult tasks as our +Anglo-Saxon race, is simply fatal. It can, and it must be done. As +Philip Hammerton remarks: + + "It is entirely within the power of public opinion to relieve the + world from the weariness of this burthen of expensive living; it + has actually been done to a great extent with regard to the + costliness of funerals, a matter in which public opinion has always + been very authoritative. If it will now permit a man to be buried + simply when he is dead, why cannot it allow him to exist simply + whilst he is living?" + +To lessen the expense of dress, which has risen twenty per cent, within +the last thirty years; to restore amusements to their proper place, as +recreation after hard work for the good of others; to resist the +ever-increasing restlessness of our day, leading to such constant +absences from home as seriously to threaten all steady work for the +amelioration of the stay-at-home classes, and use up the funds which are +needed for that work; to keep a simple table, so that the future Sir +Andrew Clark may no longer have to say that more than half of our +diseases come from over-eating; to resist the vulgar tendency to compete +with our richer or more fashionable neighbors in their style of +living--surely these sacrifices are not beyond us, to attain a great +end, both for ourselves and our empire. If indeed we think we can meet +this evil without making sacrifices amounting to a silent revolution in +our life; if we think, as I have sometimes thought some women do think, +that we can quench this pit of perdition in our midst by, as it were, +emptying our scent-bottles upon it,--shedding a few empty tears, heaving +a few sentimental sighs: "It is very sad! of course I can't do anything, +but I am sure I wish all success to your noble work"--possibly even +giving a very little money, say a guinea a year, to a penitentiary--all +I can say is, _God is not mocked_. I know but one thing in heaven or +earth that will quench it, and that is life-blood. Sometimes I have +asked in anguish of spirit: "Will women give it?" I believe they will. +But, whether we give it or not, what Matthew Arnold called "the noblest +of religious utterances" holds good here: "Without shedding of blood +there is no remission of this sin." + +And it is because I know that mothers will spend their heart's blood in +saving their sons, and because I believe that women, with their new-born +position and dignity, will not go on accepting as a matter of course +that their womanhood should be fashioned like the Egyptian sphinx, half +pure woman, crowned with intellectual and moral beauty, dowered with the +homage of men; and half unclean beast of prey, seeking whom it may slay, +outcast and abandoned and forced to snare or starve--it is because of +this, my rooted faith in women, that I have hope. + +As long ago as 1880 Professor Max Mueller, ever anxious for the interests +of his Indian fellow-subjects, when Mr. Malabari came to ask him how he +could rouse English public opinion with regard to the injuries inflicted +on young girls by Hindu child-marriages, answered him at once, "Write a +short pamphlet and send it to the women of England. They begin to be a +power, and they have one splendid quality, they are never beaten."[44] +And if this can be said of English women, still more may it be said of +the women of America. + +But, further, to strengthen us in this splendid quality, have we +sufficiently recognized the new moral forces that are coming into the +world? Have our eyes been opened to see "the horses and chariots of +fire" which are silently taking up their position around us, to guard +us and fight for us, that we may not be beaten; the deepened sense of +moral obligation, the added power of conscience, the altogether new +altruistic sense which makes the misery and degradation of others cling +to us like a garment we cannot shake off, a sense of others' woes for +which we have had to invent a new word? Lord Shaftesbury's legislation +does not date so very far back; and yet when his Bill for delivering +women and children from working in our mines was hanging in the balance, +and the loss of a single vote might wreck it--women, be it remembered, +who were working naked to the waist in the coal-mines, and little +children of eight or nine who were carrying half a sack of coals twelve +times a day the height of St. Paul's Cathedral--the Archbishop of +Canterbury and the Bishop of London left the House of Lords without +voting, as the subject did not interest them; while in the lower House +Bright and Gladstone both voted against the Bill, Gladstone being the +only member who, when the Bill was passed by a bare majority, endeavored +to delay its coming into operation! I ask, Would such a state of things +be possible in these days? Am I not right in saying that new moral +forces and sensibilities have been born within us which make such a +state of things not only impossible, but simply incomprehensible? + +Why then should we despair? What! Has God built up His everlasting +marble of broken shells, and will He not build up his temple of the +future out of these broken efforts of ours? Has He made His pure and +splendid diamond out of mere soot, and shall we refuse to see in the +blackest and foulest moral problem the possibilities of the diamond, of +a higher life worked out in the process of its solution, reflecting His +light and His love? Has He made His precious sapphire of the mere mud +that we tread under our feet, and, when we insist on our little sisters' +being no longer trodden like mud "under foot of vicious men," may they +not in the course of their redemption bring an added hue of heaven to +our life, an added purity to home and family, and behold, instead of the +old mud, a sapphire throne, and above it the likeness as of a divine +man?[45] + +But to those who still hang back with a feeling of almost angry +repulsion from the whole subject which makes them refuse even to face +the perils and temptations of their own boys, I would address no hard +words, remembering but too well the terrible struggle it cost me to make +this my life work. Only I would remind them of that greatest act in all +history, by which the world was redeemed. The Cross to us is so +associated with the adoration of the ages, so glorified by art, and +music, and lofty thought, that we have ceased to realize what it was in +actual fact such as no painter has ever dared to portray it; the Cross, +not elevated as in sacred pictures, but huddled up with the jeering +crowd; the Cross with its ribald blasphemies, its shameful nakedness, +its coarse mockeries, its brutal long-drawn torture. Do you think it +cost the women of that day nothing to bear all this on their tender +hearts? Yet what was it that made men draw nearer and nearer, till the +women who at first "stood afar off, beholding these things," we are +told, at last "stood by the cross of Jesus"; and, when all men forsook +Him and fled, placed themselves heart to heart with the Divine Love +bearing the sins of the world and casting them into the abysmal depths +of its own being, deeper even than the depths of man's sin? What was it +but their faithfulness to the Highest that they had known which made +them endure the Cross, despising the shame? + +And now, when at the end of the ages He once again calls us women to +stand heart to heart with Him in a great redemptive purpose, shall we +hang back? Shall we not rather obey the Divine call, enduring the Cross, +despising the shame, and, like those women of old, winning for +ourselves, by faithfulness unto death, the joy of being made the +messengers of a higher and risen life to the world? + +God grant that the power of the Holy Ghost may overshadow us and enable +us to make answer with her whom all generations have called blessed: +"Behold the hand-maiden of the Lord!" + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 42: Late Head-Master of Harrow; now Metropolitan of India.] + +[Footnote 43: I would especially commend this modern order of knighthood +to the prayers and support of women. It is bravely fighting our battle +for us and doing the public work among men. As it attacks what is +especially the sin of the moneyed classes, it is unpopular, men +resenting its interference with what they call their private life, and +it is always in peril for want of funds. The White Cross league admits +women associates for intercessory prayer--and what mother will not be +thankful for that?--for any work where women's aid is needed, and for +raising funds for what is so emphatically our own cause. I would +earnestly suggest to women who have incomes of their own that they +should leave the White Cross a small legacy, so as to place it on a +firmer basis. I hope myself to leave the English branch L2000.] + +[Footnote 44: From an article in the _Nineteenth Century_ on "Meddling +with Hindu Marriages."] + +[Footnote 45: Ezek. i., 26.] + + + + +APPENDIX + + +In Mr. Edward Thring's address to the Church Congress at Carlisle in +1841, he said: + +"Curiosity, ignorance, and lies form a very hot-bed of impurity. We pay +heavily for our civilized habits in false shame and the mystery in which +sex is wrapped. + +"I confess that for curiosity I have no remedy to propose. Ignorance and +lies are on a different footing. I suppose everyone is acquainted with +some of the current lies about the impossibility of being pure. The only +answer to this is a flat denial from experience. I know it is possible, +and, when once attained, easy. The means, under God, in my own case, was +a letter from my father. A quiet, simple statement of the sinfulness of +the sin and a few of the plain texts from St. Paul saved me. A film fell +from my eyes at my father's letter. My first statement is that all +fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. It is not difficult +if done in a common-sense way. Following out this plan at Uppingham in +the morning Bible lessons, I have always spoken as occasion arose with +perfect plainness on lust and its devil-worship, particularly noting its +deadly effect on human life and its early and dishonored graves. +Ignorance is deadly, because perfect ignorance in a boy is impossible. I +consider the half-ignorance so deadly that once a year, at the time of +confirmation, I speak openly to the whole school, divided into three +different sets. First I take the confirmees, then the communicants and +older boys, then the younger boys, on three following nights after +evening prayers. The first two sets I speak very plainly to, the last +only warn against all indecency in thought, word, or deed, whether alone +or with companions. Thus no boy who has been at school a whole year can +sin in ignorance, and a boy who despises this warning is justly turned +out of the school on conviction." + + Finally, he dwelt upon the necessity of school life having joined + to it a home life. The purifying influence of a good woman and a + fuller recognition of woman's work and place in the world he looked + upon as that which promised most for lifting mankind into a higher + atmosphere of pure life. + + +THE END. + + +White Cross Series of Tracts. + +White Cross Manual. Containing an Account of the Origin and Progress of +the Movement, A Statement of its Objects and Methods, Plan of +Organization, Suggestions on the Conduct of the Work, Devotional +Offices, etc. Paper, 64 pages ... $0.05 + +1. AN ADDRESS TO THE MEMBERS OF THE WHITE CROSS ARMY. + By the Right Rev. the BISHOP OF DURHAM. + +2. THE WHITE CROSS ARMY. + A Statement of the Bishop of Durham's Movement. BY ELLICE HOPKINS. + +3. PER ANGUSTA AD AUGUSTA. BY J.E.H. + +7. THE RIDE OF DEATH. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +8. THE BLACK ANCHOR. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +9. THE AMERICAN ZULU. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +Price, 3 cents each. $2.00 a hundred, direct from the Publishers. + + +Shorter papers. + +$1.00 a hundred. + +LOST IN QUICKSAND. By J.E.H. + +IS IT NATURAL? By J.E.H. + +MORAL MONEY CLIPPERS. By J.E.H. + +WHO HOLDS THE ROPE? By J.E.H. + +ROLLING AWAY THE STONE. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +TOUCHING PITCH. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +THE DEFACED IMAGE RESTORED. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + +POWER TO LET. By ELLICE HOPKINS. + + +E.P. DUTTON & CO., PUBLISHERS. + +31 West 23d Street, New York. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Womanhood, or Mothers and +Sons, by Ellice Hopkins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF WOMANHOOD *** + +***** This file should be named 16047.txt or 16047.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/4/16047/ + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Janet Blenkinship and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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