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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/16014-0.txt b/16014-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ca0484 --- /dev/null +++ b/16014-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8511 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The +Donagh, by William Carleton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh + Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of + William Carleton, Volume Three + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16014] +Last Updated: March 2, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE WORKS + +OF + +WILLIAM CARLETON. + + +VOLUME III. + + + + +TRAITS AND STORIES OF THE IRISH PEASANTRY + + +PART III. + + +[Illustration: Frontispiece] + +[Illustration: Titlepage] + + + + +CONTENTS + + The Hedge School. + + The Midnight Mass. + + The Donagh; Or, The Horse Stealers. + + + + +THE HEDGE SCHOOL. + +There never was a more unfounded calumny, than that which would impute +to the Irish peasantry an indifference to education. I may, on the +contrary, fearlessly assert that the lower orders of no country ever +manifested such a positive inclination for literary acquirements, +and that, too, under circumstances strongly calculated to produce +carelessness and apathy on this particular subject. Nay, I do maintain, +that he who is intimately acquainted with the character of our +countrymen, must acknowledge that their zeal for book learning, not only +is strong and ardent, when opportunities of scholastic education occur, +but that it increases in proportion as these opportunities are rare and +unattainable. The very name and nature of Hedge Schools are proof of +this; for what stronger point could be made out, in illustration of my +position, than the fact, that, despite of obstacles, the very idea of +which would crush ordinary enterprise--when not even a shed could be +obtained in which to assemble the children of an Irish village, the +worthy pedagogue selected the first green spot on the sunny side of a +quickset-thorn hedge, which he conceived adapted for his purpose, and +there, under the scorching rays of a summer sun, and in defiance of +spies and statutes, carried on the work of instruction. From this +circumstance the name of Hedge School originated; and, however it may be +associated with the ludicrous, I maintain, that it is highly creditable +to the character of the people, and an encouragement to those who wish +to see them receive pure and correct educational knowledge. A +Hedge School, however, in its original sense, was but a temporary +establishment, being only adopted until such a school-house could be +erected, as it was in those days deemed sufficient to hold such a number +of children, as were expected, at all hazards, to attend it. + +The opinion, I know, which has been long entertained of Hedge +Schoolmasters, was, and still is, unfavorable; but the character of +these worthy and eccentric persons has been misunderstood, for the +stigma attached to their want of knowledge should have rather been +applied to their want of morals, because, on this latter point, were +they principally indefensible. The fact is, that Hedge Schoolmasters +were a class of men from whom morality was not expected by the +peasantry; for, strange to say, one of their strongest recommendations +to the good opinion of the People, as far as their literary talents and +qualifications were concerned, was an inordinate love of whiskey, and if +to this could be added a slight touch of derangement, the character was +complete. + +On once asking an Irish peasant, why he sent his children to a +schoolmaster who was notoriously addicted to spirituous liquors, rather +than to a man of sober habits who taught in the same neighborhood, + +“Why do I send them to Mat Meegan, is it?” he replied--“and do you +think, sir,” said he, “that I'd send them to that dry-headed dunce, Mr. +Frazher, with his black coat upon him, and his Caroline hat, and him +wouldn't take a glass of poteen wanst in seven years? Mat, sir, likes +it, and teaches the boys ten times betther whin he's dhrunk nor when +he's sober; and you'll never find a good tacher, sir, but's fond of +it. As for Mat, when he's half gone, I'd turn him agin the country for +deepness in learning; for it's then he rhymes it out of him, that it +would do one good to hear him.” + +“So,” said I, “you think that a love of drinking poteen is a sign of +talent in a school-master?” + +“Ay, or in any man else, sir,” he replied. “Look at tradesmen, and 'tis +always the cleverest that you'll find fond of the drink! If you had hard +Mat and Frazher, the other evening, at it--what a hare Mat made of him! +but he was just in proper tune for it, being, at the time, purty well +I thank you, and did not lave him a leg to stand upon. He took him in +Euclid's Ailments and Logicals, and proved in Frazher's teeth that the +candlestick before them was the church-steeple, and Frazher himself the +parson; and so sign was on it, the other couldn't disprove it, but had +to give in.” + +“Mat, then,” I observed, “is the most learned man on this walk.” + +“Why, thin, I doubt that same, sir,” replied he, “for all he's so great +in the books; for, you see, while they were ding dust at it, who comes +in but mad Delaney, and he attacked Mat, and, in less than no time, +rubbed the consate out of him, as clane as he did out of Frazher.” + +“Who is Delaney?” I inquired. + +“He was the makings of a priest, sir, and was in Maynooth a couple of +years, but he took in the knowledge so fast, that, bedad, he got cracked +wid larnin'--for a dunce you see, never cracks wid it, in regard of the +thickness of the skull: no doubt but he's too many for Mat, and can go +far beyant him in the books; but then, like Mat, he's still brightest +whin he has a sup in his head.” + +These are the prejudices which the Irish peasantry have long entertained +concerning the character of hedge schoolmasters; but, granting them to +be unfounded, as they generally are, yet it is an indisputable fact, +that hedge schoolmasters were as superior in literary knowledge and +acquirements to the class of men who are now engaged in the general +education of the people, as they were beneath them in moral and +religious character. The former part of this assertion will, I am aware, +appear rather startling to many. But it is true; and one great cause why +the character of Society Teachers is undervalued, in many instances, by +the people, proceeds from a conviction on their parts, that they are, +and must be, incapable, from the slender portion of learning they have +received, of giving their children a sound and practical education. + +But that we may put this subject in a clearer light, we will give a +sketch of the course of instruction which was deemed necessary for a +hedge schoolmaster, and let it be contrasted with that which falls to +the lot of those engaged in the conducting of schools patronized by the +Education Societies of the present day. + +When a poor man, about twenty or thirty years ago, understood from the +schoolmaster who educated his sons, that any of them was particularly +“cute at his larnin',” the ambition of the parent usually directed +itself to one of three objects--he would either make him a priest, a +clerk, or a schoolmaster. The determination once fixed, the boy was set +apart from every kind of labor, that he might be at liberty to bestow +his undivided time and talents to the object set before him. His parents +strained every nerve to furnish him with the necessary books, and always +took care that his appearance and dress should be more decent than those +of any other member of the family. If the church were in prospect, he +was distinguished, after he had been two or three years at his Latin, by +the appellation of “the young priest,” an epithet to him of the +greatest pride and honor; but if destined only to wield the ferula, his +importance in the family, and the narrow circle of his friends, was by +no means so great. If, however, the goal of his future ambition as a +schoolmaster was humbler, that of his literary career was considerably +extended. He usually remained at the next school in the vicinity +until he supposed that he had completely drained the master of all his +knowledge. This circumstance was generally discovered in the following +manner:--As soon as he judged himself a match for his teacher, and +possessed sufficient confidence in his own powers, he penned him a +formal challenge to meet him in literary contest either in his own +school, before competent witnesses, or at the chapel-green, on the +Sabbath day, before the arrival of the priest or probably after it--for +the priest himself was sometimes the moderator and judge upon these +occasions. This challenge was generally couched in rhyme, and either +sent by the hands of a common friend or posted upon the chapel-door. + +These contests, as the reader perceives, were always public, and +were witnessed by the peasantry with intense interest. If the master +sustained a defeat, it was not so much attributed to his want of +learning, as to the overwhelming talent of his opponent; nor was +the success of the pupil generally followed by the expulsion of the +master--for this was but the first of a series of challenges which the +former proposed to undertake, ere he eventually settled himself in the +exercise of his profession. + +I remember being present at one of them, and a ludicrous exhibition it +was. The parish priest, a red-faced, jocular little man, was president; +and his curate, a scholar of six feet two inches in height, and a +schoolmaster from the next parish, were judges. I will only touch upon +two circumstances in their conduct, which evinced a close, instinctive +knowledge of human nature in the combatants. The master would not +condescend to argue off his throne--a piece of policy to which, in my +opinion, he owed his victory (for he won); whereas the pupil insisted +that he should meet him on equal ground, face to face, in the lower end +of the room. It was evident that the latter could not divest himself +of his boyish terror so long as the other sat, as it were, in the +plentitude of his former authority, contracting his brows with habitual +sternness, thundering out his arguments, with a most menacing and +stentorian voice, while he thumped his desk with his shut fist, or +struck it with his great ruler at the end of each argument, in a manner +that made the youngster put his hands behind him several times, to be +certain that that portion of his dress which is unmentionable was tight +upon him. If in these encounters the young candidate for the honors of +the literary sceptre was not victorious, he again resumed his studies, +under his old preceptor, with renewed vigor and becoming humility; but +if he put the schoolmaster down, his next object was to seek out some +other teacher, whose celebrity was unclouded within his own range. With +him he had a fresh encounter, and its result was similar to what I have +already related. + +If victorious, he sought out another and more learned opponent; and +if defeated, he became the pupil of his conqueror--going night about, +during his sojourn at the school, with the neighboring farmers' sons, +whom he assisted in their studies, as a compensation for his support. +He was called during these peregrinations, the Poor Scholar, a character +which secured him the esteem and hospitable attention of the peasantry, +who never fail in respect to any one characterized by a zeal for +learning and knowledge. + +In this manner he proceeded, a literary knight errant, filled with a +chivalrous love of letters, which would have done honor to the most +learned peripatetic of them all; enlarging his own powers, and making +fresh acquisitions of knowledge as he went along. His contests, his +defeats, and his triumphs, of course, were frequent; and his habits +of thinking and reasoning must have been considerably improved, his +acquaintance with classical and mathematical authors rendered more +intimate, and his powers of illustration and comparison more clear +and happy. After three or four years spent in this manner, he +usually returned to his native place, sent another challenger to the +schoolmaster, in the capacity of a candidate for his situation, and if +successful, drove him out of the district, and established himself in +his situation. The vanquished master sought a new district, sent a new +challenge, in his turn, to some other teacher, and usually put him to +flight in the same manner. The terms of defeat or victory, according to +their application, were called sacking and bogging. “There was a great +argument entirely, sir,” said a peasant once, when speaking of these +contests, “'twas at the chapel on Sunday week, betiane young Tom Brady, +that was a poor scholar in Munsther, and Mr. Hartigan the schoolmaster.” + +“And who was victorious?” I inquired. “Why, sir, and maybe 'twas young +Brady that didn't sack him clane before the priest and all, and went +nigh to bog the priest himself in Greek. His Reverence was only two +words beyant him; but he sacked the masther any how, and showed him in +the Grammatical and Dixonary where he was Wrong.” + +“And what is Brady's object in life?” I asked. “What does he intend to +do.” + +“Intend to do, is it? I am tould nothing less nor going into Trinity +College in Dublin and expects to bate them all there, out and out: +he's first to make something they call a seizure; (* Sizar) and, afther +making that good he's to be a counsellor. So, sir, you see what it is to +resave good schoolin', and to have the larnin'; but, indeed, it's Brady +that's the great head-piece entirely.” + +Unquestionably, many who received instruction in this manner have +distinguished themselves in the Dublin University; and I have no +hesitation in saying, that young men educated in Irish hedge schools, as +they were called, have proved themselves to be better classical scholars +and mathematicians, generally speaking, than any proportionate number +of those educated in our first-rate academies. The Munstor masters have +long been, and still are, particularly celebrated for making excellent +classical and mathematical scholars. + +That a great deal of ludicrous pedantry generally accompanied this +knowledge is not at all surprising, when we consider the rank these +worthy teachers held in life, and the stretch of inflation at which +their pride was kept by the profound reverence excited by their learning +among the people. It is equally true, that each of them had a stock +of _crambos_ ready for accidental encounter, which would have puzzled +Euclid or Sir Isaac Newton himself; but even these trained their minds +to habits of acuteness and investigation. When a schoolmaster of this +class had established himself as a good mathematician, the predominant +enjoyment of his heart and life was to write the epithet Philomath after +his name; and this, whatever document he subscribed, was never omitted. +If he witnessed a will, it was Timothy Fagan, Philomath; if he put his +name to a promissory note, it was Tim. Pagan, Philomath; if he addressed +a love-letter to his sweetheart, it was still Timothy Fagan--or whatever +the name might be--Philomath; and this was always written in legible and +distinct copy-hand, sufficiently large to attract the observation of the +reader. + +It was also usual for a man who had been a preeminent and extraordinary +scholar, to have the epithet Great prefixed to his name. I remember one +of this description, who was called the Great O'Brien par excellence. In +the latter years of his life he gave up teaching, and led a circulating +life, going round from school to school, and remaining a week or a month +alternately among his brethren. His visits were considered an honor, +and raised considerably the literary character of those with whom he +resided; for he spoke of dunces with the most dignified contempt, and +the general impression was, that he would scorn even to avail himself of +their hospitality. Like most of his brethren, he could not live without +the poteen; and his custom was, to drink a pint of it in its native +purity before he entered into any literary contest, or made any display +of his learning at wakes or other Irish festivities; and most certainly, +however blamable the practice, and injurious to health and morals, it +threw out his talents and his powers in a most surprising manner. + +It was highly amusing to observe the peculiarity which the consciousness +of superior knowledge impressed upon the conversation and personal +appearance of this decaying race. Whatever might have been the original +conformation of their physical structure, it was sure, by the force of +acquired habit, to transform itself into a stiff, erect, consequential, +and unbending manner, ludicrously characteristic of an inflated sense of +their extraordinary knowledge, and a proud and commiserating contempt +of the dark ignorance by which, in despite of their own light, they were +surrounded. Their conversation, like their own _crambos_, was dark and +difficult to be understood; their words, truly sesquipedalian; their +voice, loud and commanding in its tones; their deportment, grave and +dictatorial, but completely indescribable, and certainly original to the +last degree, in those instances where the ready, genuine humor of their +country maintained an unyielding rivalry in their disposition, against +the natural solemnity which was considered necessary to keep up the due +dignity of their character. + +In many of these persons, where the original gayety of the disposition +was known, all efforts at the grave and dignified were complete +failures, and these were enjoyed by the peasantry and their own pupils, +nearly with the sensations which the enactment of Hamlet by Liston would +necessarily produce. At all events, their education, allowing for +the usual exceptions, was by no means superficial; and the reader has +already received a sketch of the trials which they had to undergo, +before they considered themselves qualified to enter upon the duties of +their calling. Their life was, in fact, a state of literary warfare; and +they felt that a mere elementary knowledge of their business would +have been insufficient to carry them, with suitable credit, through the +attacks to which they were exposed from travelling teachers, whose mode +of establishing themselves in schools, was, as I said, by driving away +the less qualified, and usurping their places. This, according to the +law of opinion and the custom which prevailed, was very easily effected, +for the peasantry uniformly encouraged those whom they supposed to be +the most competent; as to moral or religious instruction, neither was +expected from them, so that the indifference of the moral character was +no bar to their success. + +The village of Findramore was situated at the foot of a long green hill, +the outline of which formed a low arch, as it rose to the eye against +the horizon. This hill was studded with clumps of beeches, and sometimes +enclosed as a meadow. In the month of July, when the grass on it was +long, many an hour have I spent in solitary enjoyment, watching the +wavy motion produced upon its pliant surface by the sunny winds, or +the flight of the cloud-shadows, like gigantic phantoms, as they +swept rapidly over it, whilst the murmur of the rocking-trees, and +the glancing of their bright leaves in the sun produced a heartfelt +pleasure, the very memory of which rises in my imagination like some +fading recollection of a brighter world. At the foot of this hill ran a +clear, deep-banked river, bounded on one side by a slip of rich, level +meadow, and on the other by a kind of common for the village geese, +whose white feathers, during the summer season, lay scattered over its +green surface. It was also the play-ground for the boys of the village +school; for there ran that part of the river which, with very correct +judgment, the urchins had selected as their bathing-place. A little +slope, or watering-ground in the bank, brought them to the edge of +the stream, where the bottom fell away into the fearful depths of the +whirlpool, under the hanging oak on the other bank. Well do I remember +the first time I ventured to swim across it, and even yet do I see, +in imagination, the two bunches of water flaggons on which the +inexperienced swimmers trusted themselves in the water. + +About two hundred yards from this, the boreen (* A little road) which +led from the village to the main road, crossed the river, by one of +those old narrow bridges whose arches rise like round ditches across +the road--an almost impassable barrier to horse and car. On passing the +bridge in a northern direction, you found a range of low thatched houses +on each side of the road: and if one o'clock, the hour of dinner, drew +near, you might observe columns of blue smoke curling up from a row of +chimneys, some made of wicker creels plastered over with a rich coat of +mud; some, of old, narrow, bottomless tubs; and others, with a greater +appearance of taste, ornamented with thick, circular ropes of straw, +sewed together like bees' skeps, with a peel of a briar; and many having +nothing but the open vent above. But the smoke by no means escaped +by its legitimate aperture, for you might observe little clouds of it +bursting out of the doors and windows; the panes of the latter being +mostly stopped at other times with old hats and rags, were now left +entirely open for the purpose of giving it a free escape. + +Before the doors, on right and left, was a series of dunghills, each +with its concomitant sink of green, rotten water; and if it happened +that a stout-looking woman, with watery eyes, and a yellow cap hung +loosely upon her matted locks, came, with a chubby urchin on one arm, +and a pot of dirty water in her hand, its unceremonious ejection in the +aforesaid sink would be apt to send you up the village with your finger +and thumb (for what purpose you would yourself perfectly understand) +closely, but not knowingly, applied to your nostrils. But, independently +of this, you would be apt to have other reasons for giving your horse, +whose heels are by this time surrounded by a dozen of barking curs, and +the same number of shouting urchins, a pretty sharp touch of the spurs, +as well as for complaining bitterly of the odor of the atmosphere. It +is no landscape without figures; and you might notice, if you are, as +I suppose you to be, a man of observation, in every sink as you pass +along, a “slip of a pig,” stretched in the middle of the mud, the very +beau ideal of luxury, giving occasionally a long, luxuriant grunt, +highly-expressive of his enjoyment; or, perhaps, an old farrower, lying +in indolent repose, with half a dozen young ones jostling each other for +their draught, and punching her belly with their little snouts, reckless +of the fumes they are creating; whilst the loud crow of the cock, as he +confidently flaps his wings on his own dunghill, gives the warning note +for the hour of dinner. + +As you advance, you will also perceive several faces thrust out of the +doors, and rather than miss a sight of you, a grotesque visage peeping +by a short cut through the paneless windows--or a tattered female flying +to snatch up her urchin that has been tumbling itself, heels up, in the +dust of the road, lest “the gentleman's horse might ride over it;” and +if you happen to look behind, you may observe a shaggy-headed youth in +tattered frieze, with one hand thrust indolently in his breast, standing +at the door in conversation with the inmates, a broad grin of sarcastic +ridicule on his face, in the act of breaking a joke or two upon +yourself, or your horse; or perhaps, your jaw may be saluted with a +lump of clay, just hard enough not to fall asunder as it flies, cast by +some ragged gorsoon from behind a hedge, who squats himself in a ridge +of corn to avoid detection. + +Seated upon a hob at the door, you may observe a toil-worn man, without +coat or waistcoat; his red, muscular, sunburnt shoulder peering through +the remnant of a skirt, mending his shoes with a piece of twisted +flax, called a _lingel_, or, perhaps, sewing two footless stockings (or +_martyeens_) to his coat, as a substitute for sleeves. + +In the gardens, which are usually fringed with nettles, you will see +a solitary laborer, working with that carelessness and apathy that +characterizes an Irishman when he labors for himself--leaning upon his +spade to look after you, glad of any excuse to be idle. The houses, +however, are not all such as I have described--far from it. You see here +and there, between the more humble cabins, a stout, comfortable-looking +farm-house, with ornamental thatching and well-glazed windows; +adjoining to which is a hay-yard, with five or six large stacks of corn, +well-trimmed and roped, and a fine, yellow, weather-beaten old hay-rick, +half cut--not taking into account twelve or thirteen circular strata of +stones, that mark out the foundations on which others had been raised. +Neither is the rich smell of oaten or wheaten bread, which the good wife +is baking on the griddle, unpleasant to your nostrils; nor would the +bubbling of a large pot, in which you might see, should you chance to +enter, a prodigious square of fat, yellow, and almost transparent bacon +tumbling about, to be an unpleasant object; truly, as it hangs over a +large fire, with well-swept hearthstone, it is in good keeping with the +white settle and chairs, and the dresser with noggins, wooden trenchers, +and pewter dishes, perfectly clean, and as well polished as a French +courtier. + +As you leave the village, you have, to the left, a view of the hill +which I have already described, and to the right a level expanse of +fertile country, bounded by a good view of respectable mountains, +peering decently into the sky; and in a line that forms an acute angle +from the point of the road where you ride, is a delightful valley, in +the bottom of which shines a pretty lake; and a little beyond, on the +slope of a green hill, rises a splendid house, surrounded by a park, +well wooded and stocked with deer. You have now topped the little hill +above the village, and a straight line of level road, a mile long, goes +forward to a country town, which lies immediately behind that white +church, with its spire cutting into the sky, before you. You descend on +the other side, and, having advanced a few perches, look to the left, +where you see a long, thatched chapel, only distinguished from a +dwelling-house by its want of chimneys and a small stone cross that +stands on the top of the eastern gable; behind it is a graveyard; and +beside it a snug public-house, well whitewashed; then, to the right, +you observe a door apparently in the side of a clay bank, which rises +considerably above the pavement of the road. What! you ask yourself, +can this be a human habitation?--but ere you have time to answer the +question, a confused buzz of voices from within reaches your ear, and +the appearance of a little “gorsoon,” with a red, close-cropped head +and Milesian face, having in his hand a short, white stick, or the +thigh-bone of a horse, which you at once recognize as “the pass” of +a village school, gives you the full information. He has an ink horn, +covered with leather, dangling at the button-hole (for he has long +since played away the buttons) of his frieze jacket--his mouth is +circumscribed with a streak of ink--his pen is stuck knowingly behind +his ear--his shins are dotted over with fire-blisters, black, red, and +blue--on each heel a kibe--his “leather crackers,” videlicet--breeches +shrunk up upon him, and only reaching as far down as the caps of his +knees. Having spied you, he places his hand over his brows, to throw +back the dazzling light of the sun, and peers at you from under it, till +he breaks out into a laugh, exclaiming, half to himself, half to you:-- + +“You a gintleman!--no, nor one of your breed never was, you procthorin' +thief, you!” + +You are now immediately opposite the door of the seminary, when half a +dozen of those seated next it notice you. + +“Oh, sir, here's a gintleman on a horse!--masther, sir, here's +a-gintleman on a horse, wid boots and spurs on him, that's looking in at +us.” + +“Silence!” exclaims the master; “back from the door; boys, rehearse; +every one of you, rehearse, I say, you Boeotians, till the gintleman +goes past!” + +“I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + +“No, you don't, Phelim.” + +“I do, indeed, sir.” + +“What!--is it after conthradictin' me you'd be? Don't you see the +'porter's' out, and you can't go.” + +“Well, 'tis Mat Meehan has it, sir: and he's out this half-hour, sir; I +can't stay in, sir--iplrfff--iphfff!” + +“You want to be idling your time looking at the gintleman, Phelim.” + +“No, indeed, sir--iphfff!” + +“Phelim, I know you of ould--go to your sate. I tell you, Phelim, you +were born for the encouragement of the hemp manufacture, and you'll die +promoting it.” + +In the meantime, the master puts his head out of the door, his body +stooped to a “half bend”--a phrase, and the exact curve which it forms, +I leave for the present to your own sagacity--and surveys you until you +pass. That is an Irish hedge school, and the personage who follows you +with his eye, a hedge schoolmaster. His name is Matthew Kavanagh; and, +as you seem to consider his literary establishment rather a curiosity in +its kind, I will, if you be disposed to hear it, give you the history of +him and his establishment, beginning, in the first place, with + + +THE ABDUCTION OF MAT KAVANAGH, + +THE HEDGE SCHOOLMASTER. + +For about three years before the period of which I write, the village +of Findramore, and the parish in which it lay, were without a teacher. +Mat's predecessor was a James Garraghty, a lame young man, the son of +a widow, whose husband lost his life in attempting to extinguish a fire +that broke out in the dwelling-house of Squire Johnston, a neighboring +magistrate. The son was a boy at the time of this disaster, and the +Squire, as some compensation for the loss of his father's life in his +service, had him educated at his own expense; that is to say, he gave +the master who taught in the village orders to educate him gratuitously, +on the condition of being horsewhipped out of the parish, if he refused. +As soon as he considered himself qualified to teach, he opened a school +in the village on his own account, where he taught until his death, +which happened in less than a year after the commencement of his little +seminary. The children usually assembled in his mother's cabin; but +as she did not long survive the son, this, which was at best a very +miserable residence, soon tottered to the ground. The roof and thatch +were burnt for firing, the mud gables fell in, and were overgrown with +grass, nettles, and docks; and nothing remained but a foot or two of +the little clay side-walls, which presented, when associated with the +calamitous fate of their inoffensive inmates, rather a touching image of +ruin upon a small scale. + +Garraghty had been attentive to his little pupils, and his instructions +were sufficient to give them a relish for education--a circumstance +which did not escape the observation of their parents, who duly +appreciated it. His death, however, deprived them of this advantage; and +as schoolmasters, under the old system, were always at a premium, it +so happened, that for three years afterwards, not one of that class +presented himself to their acceptance. Many a trial had been made, and +many a sly offer held out, as a lure to the neighboring teachers, but +they did not take; for although the country was densely inhabited, yet +it was remarked that no schoolmaster ever “thruv” in the neighborhood of +Findramore. The place, in fact, had got a bad name. Garraghty died, it +was thought, of poverty, a disease to which the Findramore schoolmasters +had been always known to be subject. His predecessor, too, was hanged, +along with two others, for burning the house of an “Aagint.” + +Then the Findramore boys were not easily dealt with, having an ugly +habit of involving their unlucky teachers in those quarrels which they +kept up with the Ballyscanlan boys, a fighting clan that lived at the +foot of the mountains above them. These two factions, when they met, +whether at fair or market, wake or wedding, could never part without +carrying home on each side a dozen or two of bloody coxcombs. For these +reasons, the parish of Aughindrum had for a few years been afflicted +with an extraordinary dearth of knowledge; the only literary +establishment which flourished in it being a parochial institution, +which, however excellent in design, yet, like too many establishments of +the same nature, it degenerated into a source of knowledge, morals, and +education, exceedingly dry and unproductive to every person except the +master, who was enabled by his honest industry to make a provision for +his family absolutely surprising, when we consider the moderate nature +of his ostensible income. It was, in fact, like a well dried up, to +which scarcely any one ever thinks of going for water. + +Such a state of things, however, could not last long. The youth of +Findramore were parched for want of the dew of knowledge; and their +parents and grown brethren met one Saturday evening in Barny Brady's +shebeen-house, to take into consideration the best means for procuring +a resident schoolmaster for the village and neighborhood. It was a +difficult point, and required great dexterity of management to enable +them to devise any effectual remedy for the evil which they felt. There +were present at this council, Tim Dolan, the senior of the village, and +his three sons, Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, Owen Roe O'Neil, +Jack Traynor, and Andy Connell, with five or six others, whom it is not +necessary to enumerate. + +“Bring us in a quart, Barny,” said Dolan to Brady, whom on this occasion +we must designate as the host; “and let it be rale hathen.” + +“What do you mane, Tim?” replied the host. + +“I mane,” continued Dolan, “stuff that was never christened, man alive.” + +“Thin I'll bring you the same that Father Maguire got last night on his +way home afther anointin' 'ould Katty Duffy,” replied Brady. “I'm sure, +whatever I might be afther giving to strangers, Tim, I'd be long sorry +to give _yous_ anything but the right sort.” + +“That's a gay man, Barny,” said Traynor, “but off wid you like a shot, +and let us get it under our tooth first, an' then we'll tell you more +about it--A big rogue is the same Barny,” he added, after Brady had gone +to bring in the poteen, “an' never sells a dhrop that's not one whiskey +and five wathers.” + +“But he couldn't expose it on you; Jack,” observed Connell; “you're too +ould a hand about the pot for that. Warn't you in the mountains last +week?” + +“Ay: but the curse of Cromwell upon the thief of a gauger, +Simpson--himself and a pack o' redcoats surrounded us when we war +beginnin' to double, and the purtiest runnin' that ever you seen was +lost; for you see, before you could cross yourself, we had the bottoms +knocked clane out of the vessels; so that the villains didn't get a hole +in our coats, as they thought they would.” + +“I tell you,” observed O'Neil, “there's a bad pill* somewhere about us.” + + * This means a treacherous person who cannot depended + upon. + +“Ay, is there, Owen,” replied Traynor; “and what is more, I don't think +he's a hundhre miles from the place where we're sittin' in.” + +“Faith, maybe so Jack,” returned the other. + +“I'd never give into that,” said Murphy. “'Tis Barny Brady that would +never turn informer--the same thing isn't in him, nor in any of his +breed; there's not a man in the parish I'd thrust sooner.” + +“I'd jist thrust him,” replied Traynor, “as far as I could throw a cow +by the tail. Arrah, what's the rason that the gauger never looks next +or near his place, an' it's well known that he sells poteen widout a +license, though he goes past his door wanst a week?” + +“What the h---- is keepin' him at all?” inquired one of Dolan's sons. + +“Look at him,” said Traynor, “comin' in out of the garden; how much +afeard he is! keepin' the whiskey in a phatie ridge--an' I'd kiss the +book that he brought that bottle out in his pocket, instead of diggin' +it up out o' the garden.” + +Whatever Brady's usual habits of _christening_ his poteen might have +been, that which he now placed before them was good. He laid the bottle +on a little deal table with cross legs, and along with it a small +drinking glass fixed in a bit of flat circular wood, as a substitute for +the original bottom, which had been broken. They now entered upon the +point, in question, without further delay. + +“Come, Tim,” said Coogan, “you're the ouldest man, and must spake +first.” + +“Troth, man,” replied Dolan, “beggin' your pardon, I'll dhrink +first--healths apiece, your sowl; success boys--glory to ourselves, and +confusion to the Scanlon boys, any way.” + +“And maybe,” observed Connell, “'tis we that didn't lick them well in +the last fair--they're not able to meet the Findramore birds even on +their own walk.” + +“Well, boys,” said Delany, “about the masther? Our childre will grow +up like bullockeens (* little bullocks) widout knowing a ha'porth; and +larning, you see, is a burdyen that's asy carried.” + +“Ay,” observed O'Neil, “as Solvester Maguire, the poet, used to say-- + + 'Labor for larnin, before you grow ould, + For larnin' is better nor riches nor gould; + Riches an' gould they may vanquish away, + But larnin' alone it will never decay.'” + +“Success, Owen! Why, you might put down the pot and warm an air to it,” + said Murphy. + +“Well, boys, are we all safe?” asked Traynor. + +“Safe?” said old Dolan. “Arrah, what are you talkin' about? Sure 'tisn't +of that same spalpeen of a gauger that we'd be afraid!” + +During this observation, young Dolan pressed Traynor's foot under the +table, and they both went out for about five minutes. + +“Father,” said the son, when he and Traynor re-entered the room, “you're +a wanting home.” + +“Who wants me, Larry, avick?” says the father. + +The son immediately whispered to him for a moment, when the old man +instantly rose, got his hat, and after drinking another bumper of the +poteen, departed. + +“Twas hardly worth while,” said Delany; “the ould fellow is mettle to +the back-bone, an' would never show the garran-bane at any rate, even if +he knew all about it.” + +“Bad end to the syllable I'd let the same ould cock hear,” said the +son; “the divil thrust any man that didn't switch the primer (* take and +oath) for it, though he is my father; but now, boys, that the coast's +clear, and all safe--where will we get a schoolmaster? Mat Kavanagh +won't budge from the Scanlon boys, even if we war to put our hands +undher his feet; and small blame to him--sure, you would not expect him +to go against his own friends?” + +“Faith, the gorsoons is in a bad state,” said Murphy; “but, boys where +will we get a man that's up? Why I know 'tis betther to have anybody nor +be without one; but we might kill two birds wid one stone--if we could +get a masther that would carry 'Articles,' * an' swear in the boys, from +time to time--an' between ourselves, if there's any danger of the hemp, +we may as well lay it upon strange shoulders.” + + * A copy of the Whiteboy oath and regulations. + +“Ay, but since Corrigan swung for the Aagint,” replied Delaney, “they're +a little modest in havin' act or part wid us; but the best plan is to +get an advartisement wrote out, an' have it posted on the chapel door.” + +This hint was debated with much earnestness; but as they were really +anxious to have a master--in the first place, for the simple purpose of +educating their children; and in the next, for filling the situation of +director and regulator of their illegal Ribbon meetings--they determined +on penning an advertisement, according to the suggestion of Delaney. +After drinking another bottle, and amusing themselves with some further +chat, one of the Dolans undertook to draw up the advertisement, which +ran as follows:-- + +“ADVARTAAISEMENT.” + +“_Notes to Schoolmasthers, and to all others whom it may consarn_. + +“WANTED, + +“For the nabourhood and the vircinity of the Townland of Findramore, in +the Parish of Aughindrum, in the Barony of Lisnamoghry, County of Sligo, +Province of Connaught, Ireland. + + +“TO SCHOOLMASTERS.' + +“Take Notes--That any Schoolmaster who understands Spellin' +gramatically--Readin' and Writin', in the raal way, accordin' to the +Dixonary--Arithmatick, that is to say, the five common rules, namely, +addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division--and addition, +subtraction, multiplication, and division, of Dives's denominations. +Also reduction up and down--cross multiplication of coin--the Rule +of Three Direck--the Rule of Three in verse--the double Rule of +Three--Frackshins taught according to the vulgar and decimatin' method; +and must be well practised to tache the Findramore boys how to manage +the Scuffle.* + + * The Scuffle was an exercise in fractions, illustrated + by a quarrel between the first four letters of the + alphabet, who went to loggerheads about a sugar-plum. + A, for instance, seized upon three-fourths of it; but B + snapped two-thirds of what he had got, and put it into + his hat; C then knocked off his hat, and as worthy Mr. + Gough says, “to Work they went.” After kicking and + cuffing each other in prime style, each now losing and + again gaining alternately, the question is wound up by + requiring the pupil to ascertain what quantity of the + sugar-plum each had at the close. + +“N.B. He must be will grounded in _that_. Practis, Discount, and +_Rebatin'_. N.B. Must be well grounded in that also. + +“Tret and Tare--Fellowship--Allegation--Barther--Rates per +Scent--Intherest--Exchange--Prophet in Loss--the Square root--the Kibe +Root--Hippothenuse--'Arithmatical and Jommetrical Purgation--Compound +Intherest--Loggerheadism--Questions for exercise, and the Conendix to +Algibbra. He must also know Jommithry accordin' to Grunther's +scale--the Castigation of the Klipsticks--Surveying, and the use of the +Jacob-staff. + +“N.B. Would get a good dale of Surveyin' to do in the vircinity of +Findramore, particularly in _Con-acre_ time. If he know the use of the +globe, it would be an accusation. He must also understand the Three +Sets of Book-keeping, by single and double entry, particularly Loftus +& Company of Paris, their Account of Cash and Company. And above all +things, he must know how to tache the _Sarvin' of Mass_ in Latin, and be +able to read Doctor Gallaher's Irish Sarmints, and explain Kolumkill's +and Pasterini's Prophecies. + +“N.B. If he understands _Cudgel-fencin'_, it would be an accusation +also--but mustn't tache us wid a staff that bends in the middle, bekase +it breaks one's head across the guard. Any schoolmaster capacious and +collified to instruct in the above-mintioned branches, would get a good +school in the townland Findramore and its vircinity, be well fed, an' +get the hoith o' good livin' among the farmers, an' would be ped-- + +“For Book-keepin', the three sets, _a ginny and half_.' + +“For Gommethry, &c, _half a qinny a quarther_. + +“Arithmatic, _aight and three-hapuns_. + +“Readin”, Writin', &c, _six Hogs_. + + +“Given under our hands, this 37th day of June, 18004. + + “Larry Dolan. + “Dick Dolan, his (X) mark. + “Jem Coogan, his (X) mark. + “Brine Murphey. + “Paddy Delany, his (X) mark. + “Jack Traynor. + “Andy Connell. + “Owen Roe O'Neil, his (X) mark.” + + +“N.B. _By making airly application to any of the undher-mintioned, he +will hear of further particklers_; and if they find that he will shoot +them, he may expect the best o' thratement, an' be well fed among the +farmers.* + +“N.B. Would get also a good _Night-school_ among the vircinity.” + + * Nothing can more decidedly prove the singular and + extraordinary thirst for education and general + knowledge which characterizes the Irish people, than + the shifts to which they have often gone in order to + gain even a limited portion of instruction. Of this the + Irish Night School is a complete illustration. The + Night School was always opened either for those of + early age, who from their poverty were forced to earn + something for their own support during the day; or to + assist their parents; or for grown young men who had + never had an opportunity of acquiring education in + their youth, but who now devoted a couple of hours + during a winter's night, when they could do nothing + else, to the acquisition of reading and writing, and + sometimes of accounts. I know not how it was, but the + Night School boys, although often thrown into the way + of temptation, always conducted themselves with + singular propriety. Indeed, the fact is, after all, + pretty easily accounted for--inasmuch as none but the + steadiest, _most_ sensible, and best conducted young + men ever attended it. + +Having penned the above advertisement, it was carefully posted early the +next morning on the chapel-doors, with an expectation on the part of the +patrons that it would not be wholly fruitless. The next week, however, +passed without an application--the second also--and the third produced +the same result; nor was there the slightest prospect of a school-master +being blown by any wind to the lovers of learning at Findramore. In the +meantime, the Ballyscanlan boys took care to keep up the ill-natured +prejudice which had been circulated concerning the fatality that +uniformly attended such schoolmasters as settled there; and when this +came to the ears of the Findramore folk, it was once more resolved that +the advertisement should be again put up, with a clause containing an +explanation on that point. The clause ran as follows: + +“N.B.--The two last masthers that was hanged out of Findramore, that +is, Mickey Corrigan, who was hanged for killing the Aagent, and Jem +Garraghty, that died of a declension--Jem died in consequence of +ill-health, and Mickey was hanged contrary to his own wishes; so that it +wasn't either of their faults--as witness our hands this 207th of July. + +“Dick Dolan, his (X) mark.” + + +This explanation, however, was as fruitless as the original +advertisement; and week after week passed over without an offer from +a single candidate. The “vicinity” of Findramore and its “naborhood” + seemed devoted to ignorance; and nothing remained, except another effort +at procuring a master by some more ingenious contrivance. + +Debate after debate was consequently held in Barney Brady's; and, until +a fresh suggestion was made by Delany, the prospect seemed as bad as +ever. Delany, at length fell upon a new plan; and it must be confessed, +that it was marked in a peculiar manner by a spirit of great originality +and enterprise, it being nothing less than a proposal to carry off, +by force or stratagem, Mat Kavanagh, who was at that time fixed in the +throne of literature among the Ballyscanlan boys, quite unconscious of +the honorable translation to the neighborhood of Findramore which was +intended for him. The project, when broached, was certainly a startling +one, and drove most of them to a pause, before they were sufficiently +collected to give an opinion on its merits. + +“Nothin', boys, is asier,” said Delaney. “There's to be a patthern +in Ballymagowan, on next Sathurday--an' that's jist half way betune +ourselves and the Scanlan boys. Let us musther, an' go there, any how. +We can keep an eye on Mat widout much trouble, an' when opportunity +sarves, nick him at wanst, an' off wid him clane.” + +“But,” said Traynor, “what would we do wid him when he'd be here? +Wouldn't he cut an' run the first opportunity. + +“How can he, ye omadhawn, if we put a manwill* in our pocket, an' sware +him? But we'll butther him up when he's among us; or, be me sowks, if it +goes that, force him either to settle wid ourselves, or to make himself +scarce in the country entirely.” + + * Manual, a Roman Catholic prayer-book, generally + pronounced as above. + +“Divil a much force it'll take to keep him, I'm thinkin',” observed +Murphy. “He'll have three times a betther school here; and if he wanst +settled, I'll engage he would take to it kindly.” + +“See here, boys,” says Dick Dolan, in a whisper, “if that bloody +villain, Brady, isn't afther standin' this quarter of an hour, strivin' +to hear what we're about; but it's well we didn't bring up anything +consarnin' the other business; didn't I tell yees the desate was in 'im? +Look at his shadow on the wall forninst us.” + +“Hould yer tongues, boys,” said Traynor; “jist keep never mindin', and, +be me sowks, I'll make him sup sorrow for that thrick.” + +“You had betther neither make nor meddle wid him,” observed Delany, +“jist put him out o' that--but don't rise yer hand to him, or he'll +sarve you as he did Jem Flannagan: put ye three or four months in the +_Stone Jug_” (* Gaol). + +Traynor, however, had gone out while he was speaking, and in a +few minutes dragged in Brady, whom he caught in the very act of +eaves-dropping. + +“Jist come in, Brady,” said Traynor, as he dragged him along; “walk in, +man alive; sure, and sich an honest man as you are needn't be afeard of +lookin' his friends in the face! Ho!--an' be me sowl, is it a spy we've +got; and, I suppose, would be an informer' too, if he had heard anything +to tell!” + +“What's the manin' of this, boys?” exclaimed the others, feigning +ignorance. “Let the honest man go, Traynor. What do ye hawl him that way +for, ye gallis pet'?” + +“Honest!” replied Traynor; “how very honest he is, the desavin' villain, +to be stand-in' at the windy there, wantin' to overhear the little +harmless talk we had.” + +“Come, Traynor,” said Brady, seizing him in his turn by the neck, “take +your hands off of me, or, bad fate to me, but I'll lave ye a mark.” + +Traynor, in his turn, had his hand twisted in Brady's cravat, which he +drew tightly about his neck, until the other got nearly black in the +face. + +“Let me go you villain!” exclaimed Brady, “or, by this blessed night +that's in it, it'll be worse for you.” + +“Villain, is it?” replied Traynor, making a blow at him, whilst Brady +snatched, at a penknife, which one of the others had placed on the +table, after picking the tobacco out of his pipe--intending either to +stab Traynor, or to cut the knot of the cravat by which he was held. The +others, however, interfered, and presented further mischief. + +“Brady,” said Traynor, “you'll rue this night, if ever a man did, you +tracherous in-formin' villian. What an honest spy we have among us!--and +a short coorse to you!” + +“O, hould yer tongue, Traynor!” replied Brady: “I believe it's best +known who is both the spy and the informer. The divil a pint of poteen +ever you'll run in this parish, until you clear yourself of bringing +the gauger on the Tracys, bekase they tuck Mick M'Kew, in preference to +yourself, to run it for them.” + +Traynor made another attempt to strike him, but was prevented. The rest +now interfered; and, in the course of an hour or so, an adjustment took +place. + +Brady took up the tongs, and swore “by that blessed iron,” that he +neither heard, nor intended to hear, anything they said; and this +exculpation was followed by a fresh bottle at his own expense. + +“You omadhawn,” said he to Traynor, “I was only puttin' up a dozen o' +bottles into the tatch of the house, when you thought I was listenin';” + and, as a proof of the truth of this, he brought them out, and showed +them some bottles of poteen, neatly covered up under the thatch. + +Before their separation they finally planned the abduction of Kavanagh +from the Patron, on the Saturday following, and after drinking another +round went home to their respective dwellings. + +In this speculation, however, they experienced a fresh disappointment; +for, ere Saturday arrived, whether in consequence of secret intimation +of their intention from Brady, or some friend, or in compliance with the +offer of a better situation, the fact was, that Mat Kavanagh had removed +to another school, distant about eighteen miles from Findramore. But +they were not to be outdone; a new plan was laid, and in the course +of the next week a dozen of the most enterprising and intrepid of the +“boys,” mounted each upon a good horse, went to Mat's new residence for +the express purpose of securing him. + +Perhaps our readers may scarcely believe that a love of learning was so +strong among the inhabitants of Findramore as to occasion their taking +such remarkable steps for establishing a schoolmaster among them; but +the country was densely inhabited, the rising population exceedingly +numerous, and the outcry for a schoolmaster amongst the parents of the +children loud and importunate. + +The fact, therefore, was, that a very strong motive stimulated the +inhabitants of Findramore in their efforts to procure a master. The +old and middle-aged heads of families were actuated by a simple wish, +inseparable from Irishmen, to have their children educated; and the +young men, by a determination to have a properly qualified person to +conduct their Night Schools, and improve them in their reading, writing, +and arithmetic. The circumstance I am now relating is one which actually +took place: and any man acquainted with the remote parts of Ireland, may +have often seen bloody and obstinate quarrels among the peasantry, in +vindicating a priority of claim to the local residence of a schoolmaster +among them. I could, within my own experience, relate two or three +instances of this nature. + +It was one Saturday night, in the latter end of the month of May, that +a dozen Findramore “boys,” as they were called, set out upon this most +singular of all literary speculations, resolved, at whatever risk, to +secure the person and effect the permanent bodily presence among them of +the Redoubtable Mat Kavanagh. Each man was mounted on a horse, and one +of them brought a spare steed for the accommodation of the schoolmaster. +The caparison of this horse was somewhat remarkable: wooden straddle, +such as used by the peasantry for carrying wicker paniers creels, +which are hung upon two wooden pins, that stand up out of its sides. +Underneath was a straw mat, to prevent the horse's back from being +stripped by it. On one side of this hung a large creel, and on the other +a strong sack, tied round a stone merely of sufficient weight to balance +the empty creel. The night was warm and clear, the moon and stars all +threw their mellow light from a serene, unclouded sky, and the repose of +nature in the short nights of this delightful season, resembles that of +a young virgin of sixteen--still, light, and glowing. Their way, for the +most part of their journey, lay through a solitary mountain-road; and, +as they did not undertake the enterprise without a good stock of poteen, +their light-hearted songs and choruses awoke the echoes that slept in +the mountain glens as they went along. The adventure, it is true, had +as much of frolic as of seriousness in it; and merely as the means of a +day's fun for the boys, it was the more eagerly entered into. + +It was about midnight when they left home, and as they did not wish to +arrive at the village to which they were bound, until the morning should +be rather advanced, the journey was as slowly performed as possible. +Every remarkable object on the way was noticed, and its history, if +any particular association was connected with it, minutely detailed, +whenever it happened to be known. When the sun rose, many beautiful +green spots and hawthorn valleys excited, even from these unpolished and +illiterate peasants, warm bursts of admiration at their fragrance and +beauty. In some places, the dark flowery heath clothed the mountains +to the tops, from which the gray mists, lit by a flood of light, and +breaking into masses before the morning breeze, began to descend into +the valleys beneath them; whilst the voice of the grouse, the bleating +of sheep and lambs, the pee-weet of the wheeling lap-wing, and the +song of the lark threw life and animation the previous stillness of the +country, sometimes a shallow river would cross the road winding off into +a valley that was overhung, on one side, by rugged precipices clothed +with luxurious heath and wild ash; whilst on the other it was skirted +by a long sweep of greensward, skimmed by the twittering swallow, over +which lay scattered numbers of sheep, cows, brood mares, and colts--many +of them rising and stretching themselves ere they resumed their pasture, +leaving the spots on which they lay of a deeper green. Occasionally, +too, a sly-looking fox might be seen lurking about a solitary lamb, or +brushing over the hills with a fat goose upon his back, retreating +to his den among the inaccessible rocks, after having plundered some +unsuspecting farmer. + +As they advanced into the skirts of the cultivated country, they met +many other beautiful spots of scenery among the upland, considerable +portions of which, particularly in long sloping valleys, that faced the +morning sun, were covered with hazel and brushwood, where the unceasing +and simple notes of the cuckoo were incessantly plied, mingled with the +more mellow and varied notes of the thrush and blackbird. Sometimes the +bright summer waterfall seemed, in the rays of the sun, like a column +of light, and the springs that issued from the sides of the more distant +and lofty mountains shone with a steady, dazzling brightness, on which +the eye could scarcely rest. The morning, indeed, was beautiful, the +fields in bloom, and every thing cheerful. As the sun rose in the +heavens, nature began gradually to awaken into life and happiness; nor +was the natural grandeur of a Sabbath summer morning among these piles +of magnificent mountains--nor its heartfelt, but more artificial beauty +in the cultivated country, lost, even upon the unphilosophical “boys” + of Findramore; so true is it, that such exquisite appearances of nature +will force enjoyment upon the most uncultivated heart. + +When they had arrived within two miles of the little town in which Mat +Kavanagh was fixed, they turned off into a deep glen, a little to the +left; and, after having seated themselves under a white-thorn which +grew on the banks of a rivulet, they began to devise the best immediate +measures to be taken. + +“Boys,” said Tim Dolan, “how will we manage now with this thief of a +schoolmaster, at all? Come, Jack Traynor, you that's up to still-house +work--escapin' and carryin' away stills from gaugers, the bloody +villains! out wid yer spake, till we hear your opinion.” + +“Do ye think, boys,” said Andy Connell, “that we could flatter him to +come by fair mains?” + +“Flatther him!” said Traynor; “and, by my sowl, if we flatther him at +all, it must be by the hair of the head. No, no; let us bring him first, +whether he will or not, an' ax his consent aftherwards!” + +“I'll tell you what it is, boys,” continued Connell, “I'll hould a +wager, if you lave him to me, I'll bring him wid his own consint.” + +“No, nor sorra that you'll do, nor could do,” replied Traynor: “for, +along wid every thing else, he thinks he's not jist doated on by the +Findramore people, being one of the Ballyscanlan tribe. No, no; let two +of us go to his place, and purtind that we have other business in the +fair of Clansallagh on Monday next, and ax him in to dhrink, for he'll +not refuse that, any how; then, when he's half tipsy, ax him to convoy +us this far; we'll then meet you here, an' tell him some palaver or +other--sit down where we are now, and, afther making him dead dhrunk, +hoist a big stone in the creel, and Mat in the sack, on the other side, +wid his head out, and off wid him; and he will know neither act nor part +about it till we're at Findramore.” + +Having approved of this project, they pulled out each a substantial +complement of stout oaten bread, which served, along with the whiskey, +for breakfast. The two persons pitched on for decoying Mat were Dolan +and Traynor, who accordingly set out, full of glee at the singularity +and drollness of their undertaking. It is unnecessary to detail the +ingenuity with which they went about it, because, in consequence of +Kavanagh's love of drink, very little ingenuity was necessary. +One circumstance, however, came to light, which gave them much +encouragement, and that was a discovery that Mat by no means relished +his situation. + +In the meantime, those who stayed behind in the glen felt their patience +begin to flag a little, because of the delay made by the others, who had +promised, if possible, to have the schoolmaster in the glen before +two o'clock. But the fact was, that Mat, who was far less deficient in +hospitality than in learning, brought them into his house, and not only +treated them to plenty of whiskey, but made the wife prepare a dinner, +for which he detained them, swearing, that except they stopped to +partake of it, he would not convoy them to the place appointed. Evening +was, therefore, tolerably far advanced, when they made their appearance +at the glen, in a very equivocal state of sobriety--Mat being by far the +steadiest of the three, but still considerably the worse for what he +had taken. He was now welcomed by a general huzza; and on his expressing +surprise at their appearance, they pointed to their horses, telling him +that they were bound for the fair of Clansallagh, for the purpose of +selling them. This was the more probable, as, when a fair occurs in +Ireland, it is usual for cattle-dealers, particularly horse-jockeys, to +effect sales, and “show” their horses on the evening before. + +Mat now sat down, and was vigorously plied with strong poteen--songs +were sung, stories told, and every device resorted to that was +calculated to draw out and heighten his sense of enjoyment; nor were +their efforts without success; for, in the course of a short time, Mat +was free from all earthly care, being incapable of either speaking or +standing. + +“Now, boys,” said Dolan, “let us do the thing clane an' dacent. Let you, +Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, and Andy O'Donnell, go back, and +tell the wife and two childher a cock-and-a-bull story about Mat--say +that he is coming to Findramore for good and all, and that'll be thruth, +you know; and that he ordhered yez to bring her and them afther him; and +we can come back for the furniture to-morrow.” + +A word was enough--they immediately set off; and the others, not wishing +that Mat's wife should witness the mode of his conveyance, proceeded +home, for it was now dusk. The plan succeeded admirably; and in a short +time the wife and children, mounted behind the “boys” on the horses, +were on the way after them to Findramore. + +The reader is already aware of the plan they had adopted for translating +Mat; but, as it was extremely original, I will explain it somewhat more +fully. The moment the schoolmaster was intoxicated to the necessary +point--that is to say, totally helpless and insensible--they opened the +sack and put him in, heels foremost, tying it in such a way about his +neck as might prevent his head from getting into it: thus avoiding the +danger of suffocation. The sack, with Mat at full length in it, was then +fixed to the pin of the straddle, so that he was in an erect posture +during the whole journey. A creel was then hung at the other side, in +which was placed a large stone, of sufficient weight to preserve an +equilibrium; and, to prevent any accident, a droll fellow sat astride +behind the straddle, amusing himself and the rest by breaking jokes upon +the novelty of Mat's situation. + +“Well, Mat, _ma bouchal_, how duv ye like your sitivation? I believe, +for all your larnin', the Findramore boys have sacked you at last!” + + +[Illustration: PAGE 831-- The Findramore boys have sacked you at last] + + +“Ay!” exclaimed another, “he is sacked at last, in spite of his +Matthew-maticks.” + +“An', be my sowks,” observed Traynor, “he'd be a long time goin' up a +Maypowl in the state he's in--his own snail would bate him.” * + + * This alludes to a question in Gough's Arithmetic, + which is considered difficult by hedge schoolmasters. + +“Yes,” said another; “but he desarves credit for travelin' from +Clansallagh to Findramore, widout layin' a foot to the ground-- + + “'Wan day wid Captain Whiskey I wrastled a fall, + But faith I was no match for the captain at all-- + But faith I was no match for the captain at all, + Though the landlady's measures they were damnable small. + Tooral, looral, looral lorral lido.' + +Whoo--hurroo! my darlings--success to the Findramore boys! +Hurroo--hurroo--the Findramore boys for ever!” + +“Boys, did ever ye hear the song Mat made on Ned Mullen's fight wid +Jemmy Connor's gander? Well here is part of it, to the tune of 'Brian +O'Lynn'-- + + 'As Ned and the gander wor basting each other, + I hard a loud cry from the gray goose, his mother; + I ran to assist him, wid very great speed. + But before I arrived the poor gander did bleed. + + 'Alas!' says the gander, 'I'm very ill-trated, + For traicherous Mullen has me fairly defated; + Bud had you been here for to show me fair play, + I could leather his _puckan_ around the lee bray.' + +“Bravo! Matt,” addressing the insensible schoolmaster--“success, poet. +Hurroo for the Findramore boys! the Bridge boys for ever!” + +They then commenced, in a tone of mock gravity, to lecture him upon +his future duties--detailing the advantages of his situation, and the +comforts he would enjoy among them--although they might as well have +addressed themselves to the stone on the other side. In this manner they +got along, amusing themselves at Mat's expense, and highly elated at the +success of their undertaking. About three o'clock in the morning they +reached the top of the little hill above the village, when, on looking +back along the level stretch of road which I have already described, +they noticed their companions, with Mat's wife and children, moving +briskly after them. A general huzza now took place, which, in a few +minutes, was answered by two or three dozen of the young folks, who +were assembled in Barny Brady's waiting for their arrival. The scene now +became quite animated--cheer after cheer succeeded--jokes, laughter, and +rustic wit, pointed by the spirit of Brady's poteen, flew briskly +about. When Mat was unsacked, several of them came up, and shaking him +cordially by the hand, welcomed him among them. To the kindness of +this reception, however, Mat was wholly insensible, having been for the +greater part of the journey in a profound sleep. The boys now slipped +the loop of the sack off the straddle-pin; and, carrying Mat into a +farmer's house, they deposited him in a settle-bed, where he slept +unconscious of the journey he had performed, until breakfast-time on the +next morning. In the mean time, the wife and children were taken care of +by Mrs. Connell, who provided them with a bed, and every other comfort +which they could require. + +The next morning, when Mat awoke, his first call was for a drink. I +should have here observed, that Mrs. Kavanagh had been sent for by the +good woman in whose house Mat had slept, that they might all breakfast +and have a drop together, for they had already succeeded in reconciling +her to the change. “Wather!” said Mat--“a drink of wather, if it's to +be had for love or money, or I'll split wid druth--I'm all in a state +of conflagration; and my head--by the sowl of Newton, the inventor of +fluxions, but my head is a complete illucidation of the centrifugal +motion, so it is. Tundher-an'-turf! is there no wather to be had? Nancy, +I say, for God's sake, quicken yourself with the hydraulics, or the best +mathematician in Ireland's gone to the abode of Euclid and Pythagoras, +that first invented the multiplication table.” + +On cooling his burning blood with the “hydraulics,” he again lay down +with the intention of composing himself for another sleep; but his eye +having noticed the novelty of his situation, he once more called Nancy. + +“Nancy avourneen,” he inquired, “will you be afther resolving me one +single proposition.--Where am I at the present spaking? Is it in the +Siminary at home, Nancy?” Nancy, in the mean time, had been desired to +answer in the affirmative, hoping that if his mind was made easy on that +point, he might refresh himself by another hour or two's sleep, as +he appeared to be not at all free from the effects of his previous +intoxication. + +“Why, Mat, jewel, where else could you be, alannah, but at home? Sure +isn't here Jack, an' Biddy, an' myself, Mat, agra, along wid me. Your +head isn't well, but all you want is a good rousin' sleep.” + +“Very well, Nancy; very well, that's enough--quite satisfactory--quod +erat demonstrandum. May all kinds of bad luck rest upon the Findramore +boys, any way! The unlucky vagabonds--I'm the third they've done up. +Nancy, off wid ye, like quicksilver for the priest.” + +“The priest! Why, Mat, jewel, what puts that into your head? Sure, +there's nothing wrong wid ye, only the sup o' drink you tuck yesterday.” + +“Go, woman,” said Mat; “did you ever know me to make a wrong +calculation--I tell you I'm non compos mentis from head to heel. Head! +by my sowl, Nancy, it'll soon be a capui mortuum wid me--I'm far gone +in a disease they call an opthical delusion--the devil a thing less it +is--me bein' in my own place, an' to think I'm lyin' in a settle bed; +that there is a large dresser, covered wid pewter dishes and plates; and +to crown all, the door on the wrong side of the house! Off wid ye, and +tell his Reverence that I want to be anointed, and to die in pace and +charity wid all men. May the most especial kind of bad luck light down +upon you, Findramore, and all that's in you, both man and baste--you +have given me my gruel along wid the rest; but, thank God, you won't +hang me, any how! Off, Nancy, for the priest, till I die like a +Christhan, in pace and forgiveness wid the world;--all kinds of hard +fortune to them! Make haste, woman, if you expect me to die like a +Christhan. If they had let me alone till I'd publish to the world my +Treatise upon Conic Sections--but to be cut off on my march to fame! +another draught of the hydraulics, Nancy, an' then for the priest--But +see, bring Father Connell, the curate, for he understands something +about Matthew-maticks; an' never heed Father Roger, for divil a thing +he knows about them, not even the difference between a right line and a +curve--in the page of histhory, to his everlasting disgrace, be the same +recorded!” + +“Mat,” replied Nancy, scarcely preserving her gravity, “keep yourself +from talkin', an' fall asleep, then you'll be well enough.” + +“Is there e'er a sup at all in the house?” said Mat; “if there is, +let me get it; for there's an ould proverb, though it's a most +unmathematical axiom as ever was invinted--'try a hair of the same dog +that bit you;' give me a glass, Nancy, an' you can go for Father Connell +after. Oh, by the sowl of Isaac, that invented fluxions, what's this +for?” + +A general burst-of laughter followed this demand and ejaculation; and +Mat sat up once more in the settle, and examined the place with keener +scrutiny. Nancy herself laughed heartily; and, as she handed him the +full glass, entered into an explanation of the circumstances attending +his translation. Mat, at all times rather of pliant disposition, felt +rejoiced on finding that he was still compos mentis; and on hearing what +took place, he could not help entering into the humor of the enterprise, +at which he laughed as heartily as any of them. + +“Mat,” said, the farmer, and half a dozen of the neighbors, “you're a +happy man, there's a hundred of the boys have a school-house half built +for you this same blessed sunshiny mornin', while your lying at aise in +your bed.” + +“By the sowl of Newton, that invented fluxions!” replied Mat, “but I'll +take revenge for the disgrace you put upon my profession, by stringing +up a schoolmaster among you, and I'll hang you all! It's death to steal +a four-footed animal; but what do you desarve for stealin' a Christian +baste, a two-legged schoolmaster without feathers, eighteen miles, and +he not to know it?” + +In the course of a short time Mat was dressed, and having found benefit +from the “hair of the dog that bit him,” he tried another glass, which +strung his nerves, or, as he himself expressed it--“they've got the rale +mathematical tinsion again.” What the farmer said, however, about the +school-house had been true. Early that morning all the growing and grown +young men of Findramore and its “vircinity” had assembled, selected +a suitable spot, and, with merry hearts, were then busily engaged in +erecting a school-house for their general accomodation. + +The manner of building hedge school-houses being rather curious, I will +describe it. The usual spot selected for their erection is a ditch in +the road-side; in some situation where there will be as little damp as +possible. From such a spot an excavation is made equal to the size of +the building, so that, when this is scooped out, the back side-wall, and +the two gables are already formed, the banks being dug perpendicularly. +The front side-wall, with a window in each side of the door, is then +built of clay or green sods laid along in rows; the gables are also +topped with sods, and, perhaps, a row or two laid upon the back +side-wall, if it should be considered too low. Having got the erection +of Mat's house thus far, they procured a scraw-spade, and repaired with +a couple of dozen of cars to the next bog, from which they cut the light +heathy surface in strips the length of the roof. A scraw-spade is an +instrument resembling the letter T, with an iron plate at the lower +end, considerably bent, and well adapted to the purpose for which it is +intended. Whilst one party cut the scraws, another bound the _couples +and bauks_* and a third cut as many green branches as were sufficient to +wattle it. The couples, being bound, were raised--the ribs laid on--then +the wattles, and afterwards the scraws. + + * The couples are shaped like the letter A, and sustain + the roof; the bauks, or rafters, cross them from one + side to another like the line inside the letter. + +Whilst these successive processes went forward, many others had been +engaged all the morning cutting rushes; and the scraws were no sooner +laid on, than half a dozen thatchers mounted the roof, and long before +the evening was closed, a school-house, capable of holding near two +hundred children, was finished. But among the peasantry no new house is +ever put up without a hearth-warming and a dance. Accordingly the clay +floor was paired--a fiddler procured--Barny Brady and his stock +of poteen sent for; the young women of the village and surrounding +neighborhood attended in their best finery; dancing commenced--and +it was four o'clock the next morning when the merry-makers departed, +leaving Mat a new home and a hard floor, ready for the reception of his +scholars. + +Business now commenced. At nine o'clock the next day Mat's furniture +was settled in a small cabin, given to him at a cheap rate by one of the +neighboring farmers; for, whilst the school-house was being built, +two men, with horses and cars, had gone to Clansallagh, accompanied +by Nancy, and removed the furniture, such as it was, to their new +residence. Nor was Mat, upon the whole, displeased at what had happened; +for he was now fixed in a flourishing country--fertile and well +cultivated; nay, the bright landscape which his school-house commanded +was sufficient in itself to reconcile him to his situation. The +inhabitants were in comparatively good circumstances; many of them +wealthy, respectable farmers, and capable of remunerating him very +decently for his literary labors; and what was equally flattering, there +was a certainty of his having a numerous and well-attended school in a +neighborhood with whose inhabitants he was acquainted. + +Honest, kind-hearted Paddy!--pity that you should ever feel distress or +hunger--pity that you should be compelled to seek, in another land, the +hard-earned pittance by which you keep the humble cabin over your chaste +wife and naked children! Alas! what noble materials for composing a +national character, of which humanity might be justly proud, do the +lower orders of the Irish possess, if raised and cultivated by an +enlightened education! Pardon me, gentle reader, for this momentary +ebullition; I grant I am a little dark now. I assure you, however, the +tear of enthusiastic admiration is warm on my eye-lids, when I remember +the flitches of bacon, the sacks of potatoes, the bags of meal, the +miscowns of butter, and the dishes of eggs--not omitting crate after +crate of turf which came in such rapid succession to Mat Kavanagh, +during the first week on which he opened his school. Ay, and many a +bottle of stout poteen, when + +“The eye of the gauger saw it not,” + +was, with a sly, good-humored wink, handed over to Mat, or Nancy, no +matter which, from under the comfortable drab jock, with velvet-covered +collar, erect about the honest, ruddy face of a warm, smiling farmer, +or even the tattered frieze of a poor laborer--anxious to secure +the attention of the “masther” to his little “Shoneen,” whom, in the +extravagance of his ambition, he destined to “wear the robes as a +clargy.” Let no man say, I repeat, that the Irish are not fond of +education. + +In the course of a month Mat's school was full to the door posts, for, +in fact, he had the parish to himself--many attending from a distance +of three, four, and five miles. His merits, however, were believed to +be great, and his character for learning stood high, though unjustly +so: for a more superficial, and at the same time, a more presuming +dunce never existed; but his character alone could secure him a good +attendance; he, therefore, belied the unfavorable prejudices against +the Findramore folk, which had gone abroad, and was a proof, in his own +person, that the reason of the former schoolmasters' miscarriage lay in +the belief of their incapacity which existed among the people. But Mat +was one of those showy, shallow fellows, who did not lack for assurance. + +The first step a hedge schoolmaster took, on establishing himself in +a school, was to write out, in his best copperplate hand, a flaming +advertisement, detailing, at full length, the several branches he +professed himself capable of teaching. I have seen many of these--as who +that is acquainted with Ireland has not?--and, beyond all doubt, if +the persons that issued them were acquainted with the various +heads recapitulated, they must have been buried in the most profound +obscurity, as no man but a walking Encyclopaedia--an admirable +Crichton--could claim an intimacy with them, embracing, as they often +did, the whole circle of human knowledge. 'Tis true, the vanity of the +pedagogue had full scope in these advertisements, as there was none to +bring him to an account, except some rival, who could only attack him +on those practical subjects which were known to both. Independently of +this, there was a good-natured collusion between them on those points +which were beyond their knowledge, inasmuch as they were not practical +but speculative, and by no means involved their character or personal +interests. On the next Sunday, therefore, after Mat's establishment at +Findrainore, you might see a circle of the peasantry assembled at the +chapel door, perusing, with suitable reverence and admiration on their +faces, the following advertisement; or, perhaps, Mat himself, with a +learned, consequential air, in the act of “expounding” it to them. + +“Mr. Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath and' Professor of the Learned +Languages, begs leave to inform the Inhabitants of Findramore and' its +vicinity, that he lectures on the following branches of Education, in +his Seminary at the above-recited place:-- + +“Spelling, Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, upon altogether new +principles, hitherto undiscovered by any excepting himself, and for +which he expects a Patent from Trinity College, Dublin; or, at any +rate, from Squire Johnston, Esq., who paternizes many of the pupils; +Book-keeping, by single and double entry--Geometry, Trigonometry, +Stereometry, Mensuration, Navigation, Guaging, Surveying, Dialling, +Astronomy, Astrology, Austerity, Fluxions, Geography, ancient and +modern--Maps, the Projection of the Sphere--Algebra, the Use of the +Globes, Natural and Moral Philosophy, Pneumatics, Optics, Dioptics, +Catroptics, Hydraulics, Erostatics, Geology, Glorification, Divinity, +Mythology, Medicinality, Physic, by theory only, Metaphysics +practically, Chemistry, Electricity, Galvanism, Mechanics, Antiquities, +Agriculture, Ventilation, Explosion, etc. + +“In Classics--Grammar, Cordery, AEsop's Fables, Erasmus' Colloquies, +Cornelius Nepos, Phaedrus, Valerius Maximus, Justin, Ovid, Sallust, +Virgil, Horace, Juvenal, Persius, Terence, Tully's Offices, Cicero, +Manouverius Turgidus, Esculapius, Rogerius, Satanus Nigrus, Quinctilian, +Livy, Thomas Aquinas, Cornelius Agrippa, and Cholera Morbus. + +“Greek Grammar, Greek Testament, Lucian, Homer, Sophocles, AEschylus, +Thucydides, Aristophanes, Xenophon, Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and the +Works of Alexander the Great; the manners, habits, customs, usages, and +the meditations of the Grecians; the Greek Digamma resolved, Prosody, +Composition, both in prose and verse, and Oratory, in English, Latin and +Greek; together with various other branches of learning and scholastic +profundity--_quoi enumerare longum est_--along with Irish Radically, and +a small taste of Hebrew upon the Masoretic text. + +“Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath.” (* See note at the end of this sketch.) + +Having posted this document upon the hapel-door, and in all the public +places and cross roads of the parish, Mat considered himself as having +done his duty. He now began to teach, and his school continued to +increase to his heart's content, every day bringing him fresh scholars. +In this manner he flourished till the beginning of winter, when those +boys, who, by the poverty of their parents, had been compelled to go +to service to the neighboring farmers, flocked to him in numbers, quite +voracious for knowledge. An addition was consequently built to the +school-house, which was considerably too small; so that, as Christmas +approached, it would be difficult to find a more numerous or merry +establishment under the roof of a hedge school. But it is time to give +an account of its interior. + +The reader will then be pleased to picture to himself such a house as I +have already described--in a line with the hedge; the eave of the back +roof within a foot of the ground behind it; a large hole exactly in the +middle of the “riggin',” as a chimney; immediately under which is an +excavation in the floor, burned away by a large fire of turf, loosely +heaped together. This is surrounded by a circle of urchins, sitting +on the bare earth, stones, and hassocks, and exhibiting a series of +speckled shins, all radiating towards the fire, like sausages on a +Poloni dish. There they are--wedged as close as they can sit; one with +half a thigh off his breeches--another with half an arm off his tattered +coat--a third without breeches at all, wearing, as a substitute, a piece +of his mother's old petticoat, pinned about his loins--a fourth, no +coat--a fifth, with a cap on him, because he has got a scald, from +having sat under the juice of fresh hung bacon--a sixth with a black +eye--a seventh two rags about his heels to keep his kibes clean--an +eighth crying to get home, because he has got a headache, though it may +be as well to hint, that there is a drag-hunt to start from beside his +father's in the course of the day. In this ring, with his legs stretched +in a most lordly manner, sits, upon a deal chair, Mat himself, with +his hat on, basking in the enjoyment of unlimited authority. His dress +consists of a black coat, considerably in want of repair, transferred to +his shoulders through the means of a clothes-broker in the county-town; +a white cravat, round a large stuffing, having that part which comes in +contact with the chin somewhat streaked with brown--a black waistcoat, +with one or two “tooth-an'-egg” metal buttons sewed on where the +original had fallen off--black corduroy inexpressibles, twice dyed, and +sheep's-gray stockings. In his hand is a large, broad ruler, the emblem +of his power, the woful instrument of executive justice, and the signal +of terror to all within his jurisdiction. In a corner below is a pile +of turf, where on entering, every boy throws his two sods, with a hitch +from under his left arm. He then comes up to the master, catches his +forelock with finger and thumb, and bobs down his head, by way of making +him a bow, and goes to his seat. Along the walls on the ground is a +series of round stones, some of them capped with a straw collar or +hassock, on which the boys sit; others have bosses, and many of +them hobs--a light but compact kind of boggy substance found in the +mountains. On these several of them sit; the greater number of them, +however, have no seats whatever, but squat themselves down, without +compunction, on the hard floor. Hung about, on wooden pegs driven into +the walls, are the shapeless yellow “caubeens” of such as can boast the +luxury of a hat, or caps made of goat or hare's skin, the latter having +the ears of the animal rising ludicrously over the temples, or cocked +out at the sides, and the scut either before or behind, according to the +taste or the humor of the wearer. The floor, which is only swept every +Saturday, is strewed over with tops of quills, pens, pieces of broken +slate, and tattered leaves of “Reading made Easy,” or fragments of old +copies. In one corner is a knot engaged at “Fox and Geese,” or the “Walls +of Troy” on their slates; in another, a pair of them are “fighting +bottles,” which consists in striking the bottoms together, and he whose +bottle breaks first, of course, loses. Behind the master is a third set, +playing “heads and points”--a game of pins. Some are more industriously +employed in writing their copies, which they perform seated on the +ground, with their paper on a copy-board--a piece of planed deal, the +size of the copy, an appendage now nearly exploded--their cheek-bones +laid within half an inch of the left side of the copy, and the eye set +to guide the motion of the hand across, and to regulate the straightness +of the lines and the forms of the letters. Others, again, of the more +grown boys, are working their sums with becoming industry. In a dark +corner are a pair of urchins thumping each other, their eyes steadily +fixed on the master, lest he might happen to glance in that direction. +Near the master himself are the larger boys, from twenty-two to +fifteen--shaggy-headed slips, with loose-breasted shirts lying open +about their bare chests; ragged colts, with white, dry, bristling beards +upon them, that never knew a razor; strong stockings on their legs; +heavy brogues, with broad, nail-paved soles; and breeches open at the +knees. Nor is the establishment without a competent number of females. +These were, for the most part, the daughters of wealthy farmers, who +considered it necessary to their respectability, that they should not +be altogether illiterate; such a circumstance being a considerable +drawback, in the opinion of an admirer, from the character of a young +woman for whom he was about to propose--a drawback, too, which was +always weighty in proportion to her wealth or respectability. + +Having given our readers an imperfect sketch of the interior of Mat's +establishment, we will now proceed, however feebly, to represent him at +work--with all the machinery of the system in full operation. + +“Come, boys, rehearse--(buz, buz, buz)--I'll soon be after calling +up the first spelling lesson--(buz, buz, buz)--then the +mathematicians--book-keepers--Latinists and Grecians, successfully. +(Buz, buz, buz)--Silence there below!--your pens! Tim Casey, isn't this +a purty hour o' the day for you to come into school at; arraix, and what +kept you, Tim? Walk up wid yourself here, till we have a confabulation +together; you see I love to be talking to you. + +“Sir, Larry Branagen, here; he's throwing spits at me out of his +pen.”--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +“By my sowl, Larry, there's a rod in steep for you.” + +“Fly away, Jack--fly away, Jill; come again, Jack--” + +“I had to go to Paddy Nowlan's for to-baccy, sir, for my +father.” (Weeping with his hand knowingly across his face--one eye +laughing at his comrades.)-- + +“You lie, it wasn't.” + +“If you call me a liar agin, I'll give you a dig in the mug.” + +“It's not in your jacket.” + +“Isn't it?” + +“Behave yourself; ha! there's the masther looking at you--ye'll get it +now.”-- + +“None at all, Tim? And she's not after sinding an excuse wid you? What's +that undher your arm?” + +“My Grough, sir.”--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +“Silence, boys. And, you blackguard Lilliputian, you, what kept you away +till this?” + +“One bird pickin', two men thrashin'; one bird pickin', two men +thrashin'; one bird pickin'--” + +“Sir, they're stickn' pins in me, here.” + +“Who is, Briney?” + +“I don't know, sir, they're all at it.” + +“Boys, I'll go down to yez.” + +“I can't carry him, sir, he'd be too heavy for me: let Larry Toole do +it, he's stronger nor me; any way, there, he's putting a corker pin in +his mouth.” *--(Buz, buz, buz.) + + * In the hedge schools it was usual for the unfortunate + culprit about to be punished to avail himself of all + possible stratagems that were calculated to diminish + his punishment. Accordingly, when put upon another + boy's back to be horsed, as it was termed, he slipped a + large pin, called a corker, in his mouth, and on + receiving the first blow stuck it into the neck of the + boy who carried him. This caused the latter to jump and + bounce about in such a manner that many of the blows + directed at his burthen missed their aim. It was an + understood thing, however, that the boy carrying the + felon should aid him in every way in his power, by + yielding, moving', and shifting about, so that it was + only when he seemed to abet the master that the pin was + applied to him. + +“Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo--I'll never stay away agin, sir; indeed I won't, sir. +Oh, sir, clear, pardon me this wan time; and if ever you cotch me doing +the like agin, I'll give you lave to welt the sowl out of me.”--(Buz +buz, buz.). “Behave yourself, Barny Byrne.” + +“I'm not touching you.” + +“Yes, you are; didn't you make me blot my Copy?” + +“Ho, by the livin', I'll pay you goin' home for this.” + +“Hand me the taws.” + +“Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo--what'll I do, at all at all! Oh, sir dear, +sir dear, sir dear--hoo-hoo-hoo.” + +“Did she send no message, good or bad, before I lay on?” + +“Oh, not a word, sir, only that my father killed a pig yestherday, and +he wants you to go up to-day at dinner-time.”--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +“It's time to get lave--it isn't, it is--it isn't, it is,” etc. + +“You lie, I say, your faction never was able to fight ours; didn't we +lick all your dirty breed in Builagh-battha fair?” + +“Silence there.”--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +“Will you meet us on Sathurday, and we'll fight it out clane!” + +“Ha-ha-ha! Tim, but you got a big fright, any how: whist, ma bouchal, +sure I was only jokin' you; and sorry I'd be to bate your father's son, +Tim. Come over, and sit beside myself at the fire here. Get up, Micky +Donoghue, you big, burnt-shinn'd spalpeen you, and let the dacent boy +sit at the fire.” + +“Hulabaloo hoo-hoo-hoo--to go to give me such a welt, only for sitting +at the fire, and me brought turf wid me.” + +“To-day, Tim?” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“At dinner time, is id?” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“Faith, the dacent strain was always in the same family.”--(Buz, buz, +buz.)-- + +“Horns, horns, cock horns: oh, you up'd vrid them, you lifted your +fingers--that's a mark, now--hould your face, till I blacken you!” + +“Do you call thim two sods, Jack Laniran? why, 'tis only one long one +broke in the middle; but you must make it up tomorrow. Jack, how is your +mother's tooth?--did she get it pulled out yet?” + +“No, sir.” + +“Well, tell her to come to me, and I'll write a charm for it, that'll +cure her.--What kept you' till now, Paddy Magouran?” + +“Couldn't come any sooner, sir.” + +“You couldn't, sir--and why, sir, couldn't you come any sooner', sir?” + +“See, sir, what Andy Nowlan done to my copy.”--(Buz, buz, buz.)-- + +“Silence, I'll massacree yez if yez don't make less noise.”--(Buz, buz, +buz.) + +“I was down with Mrs. Kavanagh, sir.” + +“You were, Paddy--an' Paddy, ma bouchal, what war you doing there, +Paddy?” + +“Masther, sir, spake to Jem Kenny here; he made my nose bleed.”-- + +“Eh, Paddy?” + +“I was br ingin' her a layin' hen, sir, that my mother promised her at +mass on Sunday last.” + +“Ah, Paddy, you're a game bird, yourself, wid your layin' hens; you're +as full o' mischief as an egg's full o' mate--(omnes--ha, ha, ha, +ha!)--Silence, boys--what are you laughin' at?--ha, ha, ha!--Paddy, can +you spell Nebachodnazure for me?” + +“No, sir.” + +“No, nor a better scholar, Paddy, could not do that, ma bouchal; but +I'll spell it for you. Silence, boys--whist, all of yez, till I spell +Nebachodnazure for Paddy Magouran. Listen; and you yourself, Paddy, are +one of the letthers: + + A turf and a clod spells Nebachod-- + A knife and a razure, spells Nebachodnazure-- + Three pair of boots and five pair of shoes-- + Spells Nebachodnazure, the king of the Jews.' + +Now, Paddy, that's spelling Nebachodnazure by the science of +Ventilation; but you'll never go that deep, Paddy.”-- + +“I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + +“Is that the way you ax me, you vagabone?” + +“I want to go out, sir,”--(pulling down the fore lock.) + +“Yes, that's something dacenter; by the sowl of Newton, that invinted +fluxions, if ever you forgot to make a bow again, I'll nog the enthrils +out of you--wait till the Pass comes in.” + +Then comes the spelling lesson. “Come, boys, stand up to the spelling +lesson.” + +“Mickey,” says one urchin, “show me your book, till I look at my word. +I'm fifteenth.” + +“Wait till I see my own.” + +“Why do you crush for?” + +“That's my place.” + +“No, it's not.” + +“Sir, spake to---------I'll tell the masther.” + +“What's the matther there?” + +“Sir, he won't let me into my place.” + +“I'm before you.” + +“No you're not.” + +“I say, I am.” + +“You lie, pug-face: ha! I called you pug-face, tell now if you dare.” + +“Well boys, down with your pins in the book: who's king?” + +“I am, sir.” + +“Who's queen?” + +“Me, sir.” + +“Who's prince?” + +“I am prince, sir.” + +“Tag rag and bob-tail, fall into your places.” + +“I've no pin, sir.” + +“Well down with you to the tail----now, boys.” * + + * At the spelling lesson the children were obliged to + put down each a pin, he who held the first place got + them all with the exception of the queen--that is the + boy who held the second place! who got two; and the + prince, the third who got one. The last boy in the + class was called Bobtail. + +Having gone through the spelling-task, it was Mat's custom to give out +six hard words selected according to his judgment--as a final test; +but he did not always confine himself to that. Sometimes he would put a +number of syllables arbitrarily together, forming a most heterogeneous +combination of articulate sounds. + +“Now, boys, here's a deep word, that'll thry yez: come Larry +spell me-mo-man-dran-san-ti-fi-can-du-ban-dan-li-al-i-ty, or +mis-an-thro-po-mor-phi-ta-ni-a-nus-mi-ca-li-a-lioy;--that's too hard +for you, is it? Well, then, spell phthisic. Oh, that's physic you're +spellin'. Now, Larry, do you know the difference between physic and +phthisic?” + +“No, sir.” + +“Well, I'll expound it: phthisic, you see, manes--whisht, boys: will +yez hould yer tongues there--phthisic, Larry, signifies--that is, +phthisic--mind, it's not physic I'm expounding, but phthisic--boys, will +yez stop yer noise there--signifies----but, Larry, it's so deep a +word in larnin' that I should draw it out on a slate for you. And now I +remimber, man alive, you're not far enough on yet to understand it: but +what's physic, Larry?” + +“Isn't that sir, what my father tuck the day he got sick, sir?” + +“That's the very thing, Larry: it has what larned men call a +medical property, and resembles little ricketty Dan Reilly there--it +retrogrades. Och! Och! I'm the boy that knows things--you see now how I +expounded them two hard words for yez, boys--don't yez?” + +“Yes, sir,” etc., etc. + +“So, Larry, you haven't the larnin' for that either: but here's an +'asier one--spell me Ephabridotas (Epaphroditas)--you can't! hut! +man--you're a big dunce, entirely, that little shoneen Sharkey there +below would _sack_. God be wid the day when I was the likes of you--it's +I that was the bright gorsoon entirely--and so sign was on it, when +a great larned traveler--silence boys, till I tell yez this [a dead +silence]--from Thrinity College, all the way in Dublin, happened to meet +me one day--seeing the slate and Gough, you see, undher my arm, he axes +me--' Arrah, Mat,' says he, 'what are you _in_?' says he. 'Faix, I'm +in my breeches, for one thing,' says I, off hand--silence childhre, +and don't laugh so loud--(ha, ha, ha!) So he looks closer at me: 'I see +that,' says he; 'but what are you reading?' 'Nothing at all at all,' +says I; 'bad manners to the taste, as you may see, if you've your +eyesight.' 'I think,' says he, 'you'll be apt to die in your breeches;' +and set spurs to a fine saddle mare he rid--faith, he did so--thought me +so cute--(omnes--ha, ha, ha!) Whisht, boys, whisht; isn't it a terrible +thing that I can't tell yez a joke, but you split your sides laughing at +it--(ha, ha, ha!)--don't laugh so loud, Barney Casey.”--(ha, ha, ha!) + +_Barney_.--“I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + +“Go, avick, you'll be a good scholar yet, Barney. Faith, Barney knows +whin to laugh, any how.” + +“Well, Larry, you can't spell Ephabridotas?--thin, here's a short weeshy +one, and whoever spells it will get the pins;--spell a red rogue wid +three letters. You, Micky! Dan? Jack? Natty? Alick? Andy? Pettier? Jim? +Tim? Pat? Body? you? you? you? Now, boys, I'll hould you that my little +Andy here, that's only beginning the _Rational Spelling Book_, bates you +all; come here, Andy, alanna: now, boys, If he bates you, you 'must all +bring him a little _miscaun_ of butter between two kale leaves, in the +mornin', for himself; here, Andy avourneen, spell red rogue with three +letthers.” + +_Andy_.--“M, a, t--Mat.” + +“No, no, avick, that's myself, Andy; it's red rogue, Andy--hem!--F--.” + +“F, o, x--fox.” + +“That's a man, Andy. Now boys, mind what you owe Andy in the mornin, +God, won't yez?” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“I will, sir.” + +“And I will, sir.” + +“And so will I sir,” etc., etc, etc + +I know not whether the Commissioners of Education found the monitorial +system of instruction in such of the old hedge schools as maintained an +obstinate resistance to the innovations of modern plans. That Bell and +Lancaster deserve much credit for applying and extending the principle +(speaking without any reference to its merits) I do not hesitate to +grant; but it is unquestionably true, that the principle was reduced +to practice in Irish hedge schools long before either of these worthy +gentlemen were in existence. I do not, indeed, at present remember +whether or not they claim it as a discovery, or simply as an adaptation +of a practice which experience, in accidental cases, had found useful, +and which they considered capable of more extensive benefit. I remember +many instances, however, in which it was applied--and applied, in my +opinion, though not as a permanent system, yet more judiciously than +it is at present. I think it a mistake to suppose that silence, among a +number of children in school, is conducive to the improvement either +of health or intellect, that the chest and the lungs are benefited by +giving full play to the voice, I think will not be disputed; and that a +child is capable of more intense study and abstraction in the din of a +school-room, than in partial silence (if I may be permitted the word), +is a fact, which I think any rational observation would establish. There +is something cheering and cheerful in the noise of friendly voices about +us--it is a restraint taken off the mind, and it will run the lighter +for it--it produces more excitement, and puts the intellect in a better +frame for study. The obligation to silence, though it may give the +master more ease, imposes a new moral duty upon the chil--the sense of +which must necessarily weaken his application. Let the boy speak aloud, +if he pleases--that is, to a certain pitch; let his blood circulate; let +the natural secretions take place, and the physical effluvia be thrown +off by a free exercise of voice and limbs: but do not keep him dumb and +motionless as a statue--his blood and his intellect both in a state +of stagnation, and his spirit below zero. Do not send him in quest of +knowledge alone, but let him have cheerful companionship on his way; +for, depend upon it, that the man who expects too much either in +discipline or morals from a boy, is not in my opinion, acquainted +with human nature. If an urchin titter at his own joke, or that of +another--if he give him a jab of a pin under the desk, imagine not that +it will do him an injury, whatever phrenologists may say concerning the +organ of destructiveness. It is an exercise to the mind, and he will +return to his business with greater vigor and effect. Children are not +men, nor influenced by the same motives--they do not reflect, because +their capacity for reflection is imperfect; so is their reason: whereas +on the contrary, their faculties for education (excepting judgment, +which strengthens my argument) are in greater vigor in youth than in +manhood. The general neglect of this distinction is, I am convinced, +a stumbling-block in the way of youthful instruction, though it +characterizes all our modern systems. We should never forget that they +are children; nor should we bind them by a system, whose standard is +taken from the maturity of human intellect. We may bend our reason to +theirs, but we cannot elevate their capacity to our own. We may produce +an external appearance, sufficiently satisfactory to ourselves; but, in +the meantime, it is probable that the child may be growing in hypocrisy, +and settling down into the habitual practice of a fictitious character. + +But another and more serious objection may be urged against the present +strictness of scholastic discipline--which is, that it deprives the +boy of a sense of free and independent agency. I speak this with +limitations, for a master should be a monarch in his school, but by no +means a tyrant; and decidedly the very worst species of tyranny is +that which stretches the young mind upon the rod of too rigorous a +discipline--like the despot who exacted from his subjects so many +barrels of perspiration, whenever there came a long and severe frost. Do +not familiarize the mind when young to the toleration of slavery, lest +it prove afterwards incapable of recognizing and relishing the principle +of an honest and manly independence. I have known many children, on +whom a rigor of discipline, affecting the mind only (for severe corporal +punishment is now almost exploded), impressed a degree of timidity +almost bordering on pusillanimity. Away, then, with the specious and +long-winded arguments of a false and mistaken philosophy. A child will +be a child, and a boy a boy, to the conclusion of the chapter. Bell +or Lancaster would not relish the pap or caudle-cup three times a day; +neither would an infant on the breast feel comfortable after a gorge of +ox beef. Let them, therefore, put a little of the mother's milk of human +kindness and consideration into their straight-laced systems. + +A hedge schoolmaster was the general scribe of the parish, to whom all +who wanted letters or petitions written, uniformly applied--and these +were glorious opportunities for the pompous display of pedantry; the +remuneration usually consisted of a bottle of whiskey. + +A poor woman, for instance, informs Mat that she wishes to have a letter +written to her son, who is a soldier abroad. “An' how long is he gone, +ma'am?” + +“Och, thin, masther, he's from me goin' an fifteen year; an' a comrade +of his was spakin' to Jim Dwyer, an' says his ridgiment's lyin' in the +Island of Budanages, somewhere in the back parts of Africa.” + +“An' is it a lotther of petition you'd be afther havin' me to indite for +you, ma'am?” + +“Och, a letthur, sir--a letthur, master; an' may the Lord grant you all +kinds of luck, good, bad, an' indifferent, both to you and yours: an' +well it's known, by the same token, that it's yourself has the nice +hand at the pen entirely, an' can indite a letter or petition, that the +priest of the parish mightn't be ashamed to own to it.” + +“Why, thin, 'tis I that 'ud scorn to deteriorate upon the superiminence +of my own execution at inditin' wid a pen in my hand; but would you feel +a delectability in my supersoriptionizin' the epistolary correspondency, +ma'am, that I'm about to adopt?” + +“Eagh? och, what am I sayin'!--sir--masther--sir?--the noise of the +crathurs, you see, is got into my ears; and, besides, I'm a bit bothered +on both sides of my head, ever since I heard that weary _weid_.” + +“Silence, boys; bad manners to yez, will ye be asy, you Lilliputian +Boeotians--by my hem--upon my credit, if I go down to that corner, I'll +castigate yez in dozens: I can't spake to this dacent woman, with your +insuperable turbulentiality.” + +“Ah, avourneen, masther, but the larnin's a fine thing, any how; an' +maybe 'tis yourself that hasn't the tongue in your head, an' can spake +the tall, high-flown English; a wurrah, but your tongue hangs well, any +how--the Lord increase it!” + +“Lanty Cassidy, are you gettin' on wid your Stereometry? _festina, mi +discipuli; vocabo Homerum, mox atque mox_. You see, ma'am, I must tache +thim to spake an' effectuate a translation of the larned languages +sometimes.” + +“Arrah, masther dear, how did you get it all into your head, at all at +all?” + +“Silence, boys--_tace--' conticuere omnes intentique ora tenebant_.' +Silence, I say agin.” + +“You could slip over, maybe, to Doran's, masther, do you see? You'd do +it betther there, I'll engage: sure and you'd want a dhrop to steady +your hand, any how.” + +“Now, boys, I am goin' to indite a small taste of literal correspondency +over at the public-house here; you _literati_ will hear the lessons for +me, boys, till afther I'm back agin; but mind, boys, _absente domino +strepuunt servi_--meditate on the philosophy of that; and, Mick +Mahon, take your slate and put down all the names; and, upon my +soul--hem--credit, I'll castigate any boy guilty of _misty mannes_ on +my retrogadation thither;--_ergo momentote, cave ne titubes mandataque +frangas_.” + +“Blood alive, masther, but that's great spakin'--begar, a judge couldn't +come up to you; but in throth, sir, I'd be long sarry to throuble you; +only he's away fifteen year, and I wouldn't thrust it to another; and +the corplar that commands the ridgment would regard your handwrite and +your inditin'.” + +“Don't, ma'am, plade the smallest taste of apology.” + +“Eagh?” + +“I'm happy that I can sarve you, ma'am.” + +“Musha, long life to you, masther, for that same, any how--but it's +yourself that's deep in the larnin' and the langridges; the Lord incrase +yer knowledge--sure, an' we all want his blessin', you know.” + +“Home, is id? Start, boys, off--chase him, lie into him--asy, curse +yez, take time gettin' out: that's it--keep to him--don't wait for me; +take care, you little spalpeens, or you'll brake your bones, so you +will: blow the dust of this road, I can't see my way in.” + + +THE RETURN. + +“Well, boys, you've been at it--here's swelled faces and bloody noses. +What blackened your eye, Callaghan? You're a purty prime ministher, ye +boxing blackguard, you: I left you to keep pace among these factions, +and you've kicked up a purty dust. What blackened your eye--eh?--” + +“I'll tell you, sir, whin I come in, if you plase.” + +“Ho, you vagabones, this is the ould work of the faction between the +Bradys and the Callaghans--bastin' one another; but, by my sowl, I'll +baste you all through other. You don't want to go out, Callaghan. You +had fine work here since; there's a dead silence now; but I'll pay you +presently. Here, Duggan, go out wid Callaghan, and see that you bring +him back in less than no time. It's not enough for your fathers and +brothers to be at it, who have a right to fight, but you must battle +betune you--have your field days itself!” + +(Duggan returns)--“Hoo--hoo--sir, my nose. Oh, murdher sheery, my nose +is broked!” + +“Blow your nose, you spalpeen you--Where's Callaghan?” + +“Oh, sir, bad luck to him every day he rises out of his bed; he got a +stone in his fist, too, that he hot me a pelt on the nose wid, and then +made off home.” + +“Home is id? Start, boys, off--chase him, lie into him--azy, curse yez, +take time gettin out; that's it--keep to him--don't wait for me; take +care you little salpeens or you'll brake your bones, so you will: blow +the dust of this road, I can't see my way in it.” + +“Oh! murdher, Jem, agra, my knee's out' o' joint.” + +“My elbow's smashed, Paddy. Bad luck to him--the devil fly away wid +him--oh! ha I ha!--oh! ha! ha! murdher--hard fortune to me, but little +Mickey Geery fell, an' thripped the masther, an' himself's, disabled +now--his black breeches split too--look at him feelin' them--oh! oh! ha! +ha!--by tare-an'-onty, Callaghan will be murdhered, if they cotch him.” + +This was a specimen of scholastic civilization which Ireland only could +furnish; nothing, indeed, could be more perfectly ludicrous than such a +chase; and such scenes were by no means uncommon in hedge-schools, for, +wherever severe punishment was dreaded--and, in truth, most of the hedge +masters were unfeeling tyrants--the boy, if sufficiently grown to make +a good race, usually broke away, and fled home at the top of his speed. +The pack then were usually led on by the master, who mostly headed them +himself, all in full cry, exhibiting such a scene as should be witnessed +in order to be enjoyed. The neighbors, men, women, and children, ran +out to be spectators; the laborers suspended their work to enjoy it, +assembling on such eminences as commanded a full view of the pursuit. + +“Bravo, boys--success, masther; lie into him--where's your huntin' horn, +Mr. Kavanagh?--he'll bate yez if ye don't take the wind of him. +Well done, Callaghan, keep up yer heart, yer sowl, and you'll do it +asy--you're gaining' on them, _ma bouchal_--the masther's down, you +gallows clip, an' there's none but the scholars afther ye--he's safe.” + +“Not he; I'll hould a naggin, the poor scholar has him; don't you see, +he's close at his heels?” + +“_Done_, by my song--they'll never come up wid him; listen to their +leather crackers and cord-a-roys, as their knees bang agin one another. +Hark forrit, boy's; hark forrit! huz-zaw, you thieves, huzzaw!” + +“Your beagles is well winded, Mr. Kava-nagh, and gives good tongue.” + +“Well, masther, you had your chase for nothin', I see.” + +“Mr. Kavanagh,” another would observe, “I didn't think you war so +stiff in the hams, as to let the gorsoon bate you that way--your wind's +failin', sir.” + +The schoolmaster was abroad then, and never was the “march of +intellect” at once so rapid and unsuccessful. + +During the summer season, it was the usual practice for the scholars +to transfer their paper, slates, and books to the green which lay +immediately behind the school-house, where they stretched themselves on +the grass, and resumed their business. Mat would bring out his chair, +and, placing it on the shady side of the hedge, sit with his pipe in his +mouth, the contented lord of his little realm, whilst nearly a hundred +and fifty scholars, of all sorts and sizes, lay scattered over the +grass, basking under the scorching sun in all the luxury of novelty, +nakedness, and freedom. The sight was original and characteristic, and +such as Lord Brougham would have been delighted with. “The schoolmaster +was abroad again.” + +As soon as one o'clock drew near, Mat would pull out his Ring-dial* +holding it against the sun, and declare the hour. + +* The Ring-dial was the hedge-schoolmaster's next best substitute for +a watch. As it is possible that a great number of our readers may never +have heard of, much less seen one, we shall in a word or two describe +it--nothing could indeed be more simple. It was a bright brass ring, +about three-quarters of an inch broad, and two and a half in diameter. +There was a small hole in it, which when held opposite the sun admitted +the light against the inside of the ring behind. On this was marked the +hours and the quarters, and the time was known by observing the number +or the quarter on which the slender ray that came in from the hole in +front fell. + +“Now, boys, to yer dinners, and the rest to play.” + +“Hurroo, darlins, to play--the masther says it's +dinner-time!--whip-spur-an'-away-grey--hurroo--whack--hurroo!” + +“Masther, sir, my father bid me ax you home to yer dinner.” + +“No, he'll come to huz--come wid me if you plase, sir.” + +“Sir, never heed them; my mother, sir, has some of what you know--of the +flitch I brought to Shoneen on last Aisther, sir.” + +This was a subject on which the boys gave themselves great liberty; an +invitation, even when not accepted, being an indemnity for the day; it +was usually followed by a battle between the claimants, and bloody noses +sometimes were the issue. The master himself, after deciding to go where +he was certain of getting the best dinner, generally put an end to +the quarrels by a reprimand, and then gave notice to the disappointed +claimants of the successive days on which he would attend at their +respective houses. + +“Boys, you all know my maxim; to go, for fear of any jealousies, boys, +wherever I get the worst dinner; so tell me now, boys, what yer dacent +mothers have all got at home for me?” + +“My mother killed a fat hen yesterday, sir, and you'll have a lump of +bacon and flat dutch along wid it.” + +“We'll have hung beef and greens, sir.” + +“We tried the praties this mornin', sir, and we'll have new praties, and +bread and butther, sir.” + +“Well, it's all good, boys; but rather than show favor or affection, do +you see, I'll go wid Andy, here, and take share of the hen an' bacon: +but, boys, for all that, I'm fonder of the other things, you persave; +and as I can't go wid you, Mat, tell your respectable mother that +I'll be with her to-morrow; and with you, Larry, _ma bouchal_, the day +afther.” + +If a master were a single man he usually went round with the scholars +each night--but there were generally a few comfortable farmers, leading +men in the parish, at whose house he chiefly resided; and the children +of these men were treated, with the grossest and most barefaced +partiality. They were altogether privileged persons, and had liberty +to beat and abuse the other children of the school, who were certain +of being most unmercifully flogged, if they even dared to prefer a +complaint against the favorites. Indeed the instances of atrocious +cruelty in hedge schools were almost incredible, and such as in the +present enlightened time, would not be permitted. As to the state of +the “poor, scholar,” it exceeded belief; for he was friendless and +unprotected. But though legal prosecutions in those days were never +resorted to, yet, according to the characteristic notions of Irish +retributive justice, certain cases occurred, in which a signal, and +at times, a fatal vengeance was executed on the person of the brutal +master. Sometimes the brothers and other relatives of the mutilated +child would come in a body to the school, and flog the pedagogue with +his own taws, until his back was lapped in blood. Sometimes they would +beat him until few symptoms of life remained. + +Occasionally he would get a nocturnal notice to quit the parish in a +given time, under a penalty which seldom proved a dead letter in case +of non-compliance. Not unfrequently did those whom he had, when boys, +treated with such barbarity, go back to him, when young men, not so much +for education's sake, as for the especial purpose of retaliating upon +him for his former cruelty. When cases of this nature occurred, he found +himself a mere cipher in his school, never daring to practise excessive +severity in their presence. Instances have come to our own knowledge, of +masters, who, for their mere amusement, would go out to the next +hedge, cut a large branch of furze or thorn, and having first carefully +arranged the children on a row round the walls of the school, their +naked legs stretched out before them, would sweep round the branch, +bristling with spikes and prickles, with all his force against their +limbs, until, in a few minutes, a circle of blood was visible on +the ground where they sat, their legs appearing as if they had been +scarified. This the master did, whenever he happened to be drunk, or +in a remarkably good humor. The poor children, however, were obliged +to laugh loud, and enjoy it, though the tears were falling down their +cheeks, in consequence of the pain he inflicted. To knock down a child +with the fist, was considered nothing harsh; nor, if a boy were, cut, +or prostrated by a blow of a cudgel on the head, did he ever think of +representing the master's cruelty to his parents. Kicking on the shins +with a point of a brogue or shoe, bound round the edge of the sole with +iron nails, until the bone was laid open, was a common punishment; and +as for the usual slapping, horsing, and flogging, they were inflicted +with a brutality that in every case richly deserved for the tyrant, not +only a peculiar whipping by the hand of the common executioner, but a +separation from civilized society by transportation for life. It is a +fact, however, that in consequence of the general severity practised in +hedge schools, excesses of punishment did not often produce retaliation +against the master; these were only exceptions, isolated cases that did +not affect the general character of the discipline in such schools. + +Now when we consider the total absence of all moral and religious +principles in these establishments, and the positive presence of +all that was wicked, cruel, and immoral, need we be surprised that +occasional crimes of a dark and cruel character should be perpetrated? +The truth is, that it is difficult to determine, whether unlettered +ignorance itself were not preferable to the kind of education which the +people then received. + +I am sorry to perceive the writings of many respectable persons on +Irish topics imbued with a tinge of spurious liberality, that frequently +occasions them to depart from truth. To draw the Irish character as it +is, as the model of all that is generous, hospitable, and magnanimous, +is in some degree fashionable; but although I am as warm an admirer of +all that is really excellent and amiable in my countrymen as any man, +yet I cannot, nor will I, extenuate their weak and indefensible +points. That they possess the elements of a noble and exalted national +character, I grant; nay, that they actually do possess such a character, +under limitations, I am ready to maintain. Irishmen, setting aside +their religious and political prejudices, are grateful, affectionate, +honorable, faithful, generous, and even magnanimous; but under the +stimulus of religious and political feeling, they are treacherous, +cruel, and inhuman--will murder, burn, and exterminate, not only without +compunction, but with a satanic delight worthy of a savage. Their +education, indeed, was truly barbarous; they were trained and habituated +to cruelty, revenge, and personal hatred, in their schools. Their +knowledge was directed to evil purposes--disloyal principles were +industriously insinuated into their minds by their teachers, most of +whom were leaders of illegal associations. The matter placed in their +hands was of a most inflammatory and pernicious nature, as regarded +politics: and as far as religion and morality were concerned, nothing +could be more gross or superstitious than the books which circulated +among them. Eulogiums on murder, robbery, and theft were read with +delight in the histories of Freney the Robber, and the Irish Rogues and +Rapparees; ridicule of the Word of God, and hatred to the Protestant +religion, in a book called Ward's Cantos, written in Hudi-brastic verse; +the downfall of the Protestant Establishment, and the exaltation of +the Romish Church, in Columbkill's Prophecy, and latterly in that of +Pastorini. Gross superstitions, political and religious ballads of +the vilest doggerel, miraculous legends of holy friars persecuted by +Protestants, and of signal vengeance inflicted by their divine power on +those who persecuted them, were in the mouths of the young and old, and +of course firmly fixed in their credulity. + +Their weapons of controversy were drawn from the Fifty Reasons, the +Doleful Fall of Andrew Sail, the Catholic Christian, the Grounds of +Catholic Doctrine, a Net for the Fishers of Men, and several other +publications of the same class. The books of amusement read in these +schools, including the first-mentioned in this list, were, the Seven +Champions of Christendom, the Seven Wise Masters and Mistresses of +Rome, Don Belianis of Greece, the Royal Fairy Tales, the Arabian Nights' +Entertainments, Valentine and Orson, Gesta Romanorum, Dorastus and +Faunia, the History of Reynard the Fox, the Chevalier Faublax; to these +I may add, the Battle of Auhrim, Siege of Londonderry, History of the +Young Ascanius, a name by which the Pretender was designated, and the +Renowned History of the Siege of Troy; the Forty Thieves, Robin Hood's +Garland, the Garden of Love and Royal Flower of Fidelity, Parismus and +Parismenos; along with others, the names of which shall not appear on +these pages. With this specimen of education before our eyes, is it not +extraordinary that the people of Ireland should be in general, so moral +and civilized a people as they are? + +“Thady Bradly, will you come up wid your slate, till I examine you in +your figures? Go out, sir, and blow your nose first, and don't be +after making a looking-glass out of the sleeve of your jacket. Now that +Thady's out, I'll hould you, boys, that none of yez knows how to expound +his name--eh? do ye? But I needn't ax--well, 'tis Thaddeus; and, maybe, +that's as much as the priest that christened him knew. Boys, you see +what it is to have the larnin'--to lade the life of a gintleman, and to +be able to talk deeply wid the clargy! Now I could run down any man in +arguin', except a priest; and if the Bishop was after consecratin' +me, I'd have as much larnin' as some of them; but you see I'm not +consecrated--and--well, 'tis no matther--I only say that the more's the +pity.” + +“Well, Thady, when did you go into subtraction?” + +“The day beyond yesterday, sir; yarra musha, sure 'twas yourself, sir, +that shet me the first sum.” + +“Masther, sir, Thady Bradly stole my cutter--that's my cutter, Thady +Bradly.” + +“No it's not” (in a low voice). + +“Sir, that's my cutter--an' there's three nicks in id.” + +“Thady, is that his cutter?” + +“There's your cutter for you. Sir, I found it on the flure and didn't +know who own'd it.” + +“You know'd very well who own'd it; didn't Dick Martin see you liftin' +it off o' my slate, when I was out?” + +“Well, if Dick Martin saw him, it's enough: an' 'tis Dick that's the +tindher-hearted boy, an' would knock, you down wid a lump of a stone, if +he saw you murdherin' but a fly!” + +“We'll, Thady--throth Thady, I fear you'll undherstand subtraction +better nor your teacher: I doubt you'll apply it to 'Practice' all +your life, _ma bouchal_, and that you'll be apt to find it 'the Rule of +False' * at last. Well, Thady, from one thousand pounds, no shillings, +and no pince, how will you subtract one pound? Put it down on your +slate--this way, + + The name of a 'Rule' in Gough's Arithmetic. + +1000 00 00 + +1 00 00” + +“I don't know how to shet about it, masther.” + +“You don't, an' how dare you tell me so you _shingaun_ you--you +Cornelius Agrippa you--go to your sate and study it, or I'll--ha! be +off, you.”-- + +“Pierce Butler, come up wid your multiplication. Pierce, multiply four +hundred by two--put it down--that's it, + +400 + +By 2” + +“Twice nought is one.” (Whack, whack.) + +“Take that as an illustration--is that one?” + +“Faith, masther, that's two, any how: but, sir, is not wanst nought +nothin'; now masher, sure there can't be less than nothin'.” + +“Very good, sir.” + +“If wanst nought be nothin', then twice nought must be somethin', for +it's double what wanst nought is--see how I'm sthruck for nothin', an' +me knows it--hoo! hoo! hoo! + +“Get out, you Esculapian; but I'll give you _somethin_', by-and-by, just +to make you remimber that you know _nothin_'--off wid you to your sate, +you spalpeen you--to tell me that there can't be less than nothin' when +it's well known that sporting Squaire O'Canter's worth a thousand pounds +less than nothin'.” + +“Paddy Doran, come up to your 'Intherest.' Well Paddy, what's the +intherest of a hundred pound, at five per cent? Boys, have manners you +thieves you.” + +“Do you mane, masther, per cent, per annum?” + +“To be sure I do--how do you state it?” + +“I'll say, as a hundher pound is to one year, so is five per cent, per +annum.” + +“Hum--why what's the number of the sum Paddy?” + +“'Tis No. 84, sir. (The master steals a glance at the Key to Gough.) + +“I only want to look at it in the Gough, you see, Paddy,--an' how dare +you give me such an answer, you big-headed dunce, you--go off an' study +it, you rascally Lilliputian--off wid you, and don't let me see your +ugly mug till you know it.” + +“Now, gintlemen, for the Classics; and first for the Latinaarians--Larry +Cassidy, come up wid your Aisop. Larry you're a year at Latin, an' I +don't think you know Latin for frize, what your own coat is made of, +Larry. But, in the first place, Larry, do you know what a man that +taiches Classics is called?” + +“A schoolmasther, sir.” (Whack, whack, whack.). + +“Take that for your ignorance--and that to the back of it--ha; that'll +taiche you--to call a man that taiches Classics a schoolmaster, indeed! +'Tis a Profissor of Humanity itself, he is--(whack, whack, whack,)--ha! +you ringleader, you; you're as bad as Dick M'Growler, that no masther in +the county could get any good of, in regard that he put the whole school +together by the ears, wherever he'd be, though the spalpeen wouldn't +stand fight himself. Hard fortune to you! to go to put such an affront +upon me, an' me a Profissor of Humanity. What's Latin for pantaloons?” + +“Fern--fern--femi--” + +“No, it's not, sir.” + +“Femora--” + +“Can you do it?” + +“Don't strike me, sir, don't strike me, sir, an' I will.” + +“I say, can you do it?” + +“Femorali,”--(whack, whack, whack,)-- + +“Ah, sir! ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir!”-- + +“This thratement to a Profissor of Humanity--(drives him head over heels +to his seat).--Now, sir, maybe you'll have Latin for throwsers agin, +or by my sowl, if you don't, you must peel, and I'll tache you what a +Profissor of Humanity is! + +“Dan Roe, you little starved-looking spalpeen, will you come up to your +Elocution?--and a purty figure you cut at it, wid a voice like a penny +thrumpet, Dan! Well, what speech have you got now, Dan, _ma bouchal_. Is +it, 'Romans, counthrymin, and lovers?'” + +“No, shir; yarrah, didn't I spake that speech before?” + +“No, you didn't, you fairy. Ah, Dan, little as you are, you take credit +for more than ever you spoke, Dan, agrah; but, faith, the same thrick +will come agin you some time or other, avick! Go and get that speech +betther; I see by your face, you haven't it; off wid you, and get a +patch upon your breeches, your little knees are through them, though +'tisn't by prayin' you've wore them, any how, you little hop-o'-my-thumb +you, wid a voice like a rat in a thrap; off wid you, man alive!” + +Sometimes the neighboring gentry used to call into Mat's establishment, +moved probably by a curiosity excited by his character, and the general +conduct of the school. On one occasion Squire Johnston and an English +gentleman paid him rather an unexpected visit. Mat had that morning got +a new scholar, the son of a dancing tailor in the neighborhood; and +as it was reported that the son was nearly equal to the father in that +accomplishment, Mat insisted on having a specimen of his skill. He was +the more anxious on this point as it would contribute to the amusement +of a travelling schoolmaster, who had paid him rather a hostile visit, +which Mat, who dreaded a literary challenge, feared might occasion him +some trouble. + +“Come up here, you little sartor, till we get a dacent view of you. +You're a son of Ned Malone's--aren't you?” + +“Yes, and of Mary Malone, my mother, too, sir.” + +“Why, thin, that's not so bad, any how--what's your name?” + +“Dick, sir.” + +“Now, Dick, ma bouchal, isn't it true that you can dance a horn-pipe?” + +“Yes, sir.” + +“Here, Larry Brady, take the door off the hinges, an' lay it down on the +flure, till Dick Malone dances the _Humors of Glynn_: silence, boys, not +a word; but just keep lookin' an.” + +“Who'll sing, sir? for I can't be afther dancin' a step widout the +music.” + +“Boys, which of yez'll sing for Dick? I say, boys, will none of yez give +Dick the Harmony? Well, come, Dick, I'll sing for you myself: + + “Tooral lol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lorral, lol-- + Toldherol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lol,” etc., etc. + +“I say, Misther Kavanagh,” said the strange master, “what angle does +Dick's heel form in the second step of the treble, from the kibe on the +left foot to the corner of the door forninst him?” + +To this mathematical poser Mat made no reply, only sang the tune with +redoubled loudness and strength, whilst little Dicky pounded the old +crazy door with all his skill and alacrity. The “boys” were delighted. + +“Bravo, Dick, that's a man,--welt the flure--cut the buckle--murder the +clocks--rise upon suggaun, and sink upon gad---down the flure flat, +foot about--keep one foot on the ground and t'other never off it,” + saluted him from all parts of the house. + +Sometimes he would receive a sly hint, in a feigned voice, to call for +“Devil stick the Fiddler,” alluding to the master. Now a squeaking voice +would chime in; by and by another, and so on until the master's bass had +a hundred and forty trebles, all in chorus to the same tune. + +Just at this moment the two gentlemen altered; and, reader, you may +conceive, but I cannot describe, the face which Mat (who sat with his +back to the door, and did not; see them until they were some time in the +house), exhibited on the occasion. There he sung ore rotundo, throwing +forth an astonishing tide of voice; whilst little Dick, a thin, +pale-faced urchin, with his head, from which the hair stood erect, +sunk between his hollow shoulders, was performing prodigious feats of +agility. + +“What's the matter? what's the matter?” said the gentlemen. “Good +morning, Mr. Kavanagh!” + +----Tooral lol, lol---- + +Oh, good---Oh, good morning---gintlemen, with extrame kindness,” + replied Mat, rising suddenly up, but not removing his hat, although the +gentlemen instantly uncovered. + +“Why, thin, gintlemen,” he continued, “you have caught us in our little +relaxations to-day; but--hem!--I mane to give the boys a holiday for the +sake of this honest and respectable gintleman in the frize jock, who is +not entirely ignorant, you persave, of litherature; and we had a small +taste, gintlemen, among ourselves, of Sathurnalian licentiousness, +_ut ita dicam_, in regard of--hem!--in regard of this lad here, who was +dancing a hornpipe upon the door, and we, in absence of betther music, +had to supply him with the harmony; but, as your honors know, gintlemen, +the greatest men have bent themselves on espacial occasions.” + +“Make no apology, Mr. Kavanagh; it's very commendable in you to bend +yourself by condescending to amuse your pupils.” + +“I beg your pardon, Squire, I can take freedoms with you; but perhaps +the concomitant gentleman, your friend here, would be pleased to take +my stool. Indeed, I always use a chair, but the back of it, if I may, be +permitted the use of a small portion of jocularity, was as frail as the +fair sect: it went home yisterday to be mended. Do, sir, condescind +to be sated. Upon my reputation, Squire, I'm sorry that I have not +accommodation for you, too, sir; except one of these hassocks, which, in +joint considheration with the length of your honor's legs, would be, +I anticipate, rather low; but you, sir, will honor me by taking the +stool.” + +By considerable importunity he forced the gentleman to comply with +his courtesy; but no sooner had he fixed himself upon the seat than +it overturned, and stretched him, black coat and all, across a wide +concavity in the floor nearly filled up with white ashes produced from +mountain turf. In a moment he was completely white on one side, and +exhibited a most laughable appearance; his hat, too, was scorched and +nearly burned on the turf coals. Squire Johnston laughed heartily, so +did the other schoolmaster, whilst the Englishman completely lost his +temper--swearing that such another uncivilized establishment was not +between the poles. + +“I solemnly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons,” said Mat; “bad manners +to it for a stool! but, your honor, it was my own detect of speculation, +bekase, you see, it's minus a leg--a circumstance of which you waren't +wi a proper capacity to take cognation, its not being personally +acquainted with it. I humbly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons.” + +The Englishman was now nettled, and determined to wreak his ill-temper +on Mat, by turning him and his establishment into ridicule. + +“Isn't this, Mister ------ I forget your name, sir.” + +“Mat Kavanagh, at your sarvice.” + +“Very well, my learned friend, Mr. Mat Kevanagh, isn't this precisely +what is called a hedge-school?” + +“A hedge-school!” replied Mat, highly offended; “my seminary a +hedge-school! No, sir; I scorn the cognomen in toto. This, sir, is a +Classical and Mathematical Seminary, under the personal superintendence +of your humble servant.” + +“Sir,” replied the other master, who till then was silent, wishing, +perhaps, to sack Mat in presence of the gentlemen, “it is a +hedge-school; and he is no scholar, but an ignoramus, whom I'd sack in +three minutes, that would be ashamed of a hedge-school.” + +“Ay,” says Mat, changing his tone, and taking the cue from his +friend, whose learning he dreaded, “it's just for argument's sake, a +hedge-school; and, what is more, I scorn to be ashamed of it.” + +“And do you not teach occasionally under the hedge behind the house +here?” + +“Granted,” replied Mat; “and now where's your _vis consequentiae?_” + +“Yes,” subjoined the other, “produce your _vis consequentiae_; but any +one may know by a glance that the divil a much of it's about you.” + +The Englishman himself was rather at a loss for the _vis consequentiae_, +and replied, “Why don't you live, and learn, and teach like civilized +beings, and not assemble like wild asses--pardon me, my friend, for the +simile--at least like wild colts, in such clusters behind the ditches?” + +“A clusther of wild coults!” said Mat; “that shows what you are; no +man of classical larnin' would use such a word. If you had stuck at the +asses, we know it's a subject you're at home in--ha! ha! ha!--but you +brought the joke on yourself, your honor--that is, if it is a joke--ha! +ha! ha!” + +“Permit me, sir,” replied the strange master, “to ax your honor one +question--did you receive a classical education? Are you college-bred?” + +“Yes,” replied the Englishman; “I can reply to both in the affirmative. +I'm a Cantabrigian.” + +“You are a what?” asked Mat. + +“I am a Cantabrigian.” + +“Come, sir, you must explain yourself, if you plase. I'll take my oath +that's neither a classical nor a mathematical tarm.” + +The gentleman smiled. “I was educated in the English College of +Cambridge.” + +“Well,” says Mat, “and may be you would be as well off if you had picked +up your larnin' in our own Thrinity; there's good picking in Thrinity, +for gentlemen like you, that are sober, and harmless about the brains, +in regard of not being overly bright.” + +“You talk with contempt of a hedge-school,” replied the other master. +“Did you never hear, for all so long as you war in Cambridge, of a nate +little spot in Greece called the groves of Academus? + +“'Inter lucos Academi quarrere verum.' + +“What was Plato himself but a hedge schoolmaster? and, with humble +submission, it casts no slur on an Irish tacher to be compared to him, +I think. You forget also, sir, that the Dhruids taught under their oaks: +eh?” + +“Ay,” added Mat, “and the Tree of Knowledge, too. Faith, an' if that +same tree was now in being, if there wouldn't be hedge schoolmasters, +there would be plenty of hedge scholars, any how--particularly if the +fruit was well tasted.” + +“I believe, Millbank, you must give in,” said Squire Johnston. “I think +you have got the worst of it.” + +“Why,” said Mat, “if the gintleman's not afther bein' sacked clane, I'm +not here.” + +“Are you a mathematician?” inquired Mat's friend, determined to follow +up his victory; “do you know Mensuration?” + +“Come, I do know Mensuration,” said the Englishman, with confidence. + +“And how would you find the solid contents of a load of thorns?” + +“Ay, or how will you consther and parse me this sintince?” said Mat-- + + “'Ragibus et clotibus solemus stopere windous, + Non numerus sumus et fruges consumere nati, + Stercora flat stiro raro terra-tanfcaro bungo.'” + +“Aisy, Mister Kavanagh,” replied the other; “let the Cantabrigian +resolve the one I propounded him first.” + +“And let the Cantabrigian then take up mine,” said Mat: “and if he can +expound it, I'll give him a dozen more to bring home in his pocket, for +the Cambridge folk to crack after their dinner, along wid their nuts.” + +“Can you do the 'Snail?'” inquired the stranger.. + +“Or 'A and B on opposite sides of a wood,' without the Key?” said Mat. + +“Maybe,” said the stranger, who threw off the frize jock, and exhibited +a muscular frame of great power, cased in an old black coat--“maybe the +gintleman would like to get a small taste of the '_Scuffle_'” + +“Not at all,” replied the Englishman; “I have not the least curiosity +for it--I assure you I have not. What the deuce do they mean, Johnston? +I hope you have influence over them.” + +“Hand me down that cudgel, Jack Brady, till I show the gintleman the +'Snail' and the 'Maypole,'” said Mat. + +“Never mind, my lad; never mind, Mr ------a------Kevanagh. I give up the +contest; I resign you the palm, gentlemen. The hedge school has beaten +Cambridge hollow.” + + + +“One poser more before you go, sir,” said Mat--“Can you give me Latin +for a _game-egg_ in two words?” + +“Eh, a game egg? No, by my honor, I cannot--gentlemen, I yield.” + +“Ay, I thought so,” replied Mat; “and, faith, I believe the divil a much +of the game bird about you--you bring it home to Cambridge, anyhow, +and let them chew their cuds upon it, you persave; and, by the sowl +of Newton, it will puzzle the whole establishment, or my name's not +Kavanagh.” + +“It will, I am convinced,” replied the gentleman, eyeing the herculean +frame of the strange teacher and the substantial cudgel in Mat's hand; +“it will, undoubtedly. But who is this most miserable naked lad here, +Mr. Kevanagh?” + +“Why, sir,” replied Mat, with his broad Milesian face, expanded by a +forthcoming joke, “he is, sir, in a sartin and especial particularity, a +namesake of your own.” + +“How is that, Mr. Kevanagh?” + +“My name's not Kevanagh,” replied Mat, “but Kavanagh; the Irish A for +ever!” + +“Well, but how is the lad a namesake of mine?” said the Englishman. + +“Bekase, you see, he's a, poor scholar, sir,” replied Mat: “an' I hope +your honor will pardon me for the facetiousness-- + + 'Quid vetat ridentem dicere verum!' + +as Horace says to Maecenas, in the first of the Sathirs.” + +“There, Mr. Kavanagh, is the price of a suit of clothes for him.” + +“Michael, will you rise up, sir, and make the gintleman a bow? he has +given you the price of a shoot of clothes, ma bouchal.” + +Michael came up with a very tattered coat hanging about him; and, +catching his forelock, bobbed down his head after the usual manner, +saying--“Musha yarrah, long life to your honor every day you rise, an' +the Lord grant your sowl a short stay in purgatory, wishin' ye, at the +same time, a happy death aftherwards!” + +The gentleman could not stand this, but laughed so heartily that the +argument was fairly knocked up. + +It appeared, however, that Squire Johnston did not visit Mat's school +from mere curiosity. + +“Mr. Kavanagh,” said he, “I would be glad to have a little private +conversation with you, and will thank you to walk down the road a little +with this gentleman and me.” + +When the gentlemen and Mat had gone ten or fifteen yards from the +school door, the Englishman heard himself congratulated in the following +phrases by the scholars:-- + +“How do you feel afther bein' sacked, gintleman? The masther sacked +you! You're a purty scholar! It's not you, Mr. Johnston, it's the other. +You'll come to argue agin, will you? Where's your head, Bah! Come back +till we put the _suggaun_* about your neck. Bah! You now must go to +school to Cambridge agin, before you can argue an Irisher! Look at the +figure he cuts! Why duv ye put the one foot past the other, when ye +walk, for? Bah! Dunce!” + + * The suggaun was a collar of straw which was put round + the necks of the dunces, who were then placed at the + door, that their disgrace might be as public as + possible. + +“Well, boys, never heed yez for that,” shouted Mat; “never fear but I'll +castigate yez, ye spalpeen villains, as soon as I go back. Sir,” said +Mat, “I supplicate upwards of fifty pardons. I assure you, sir, +I'll give them a most inordinate castigation, for their want of +respectability.” + +“What's the Greek for tobaccy?” they continued--“or for Larry O'Toole? +or for bletherum skite? How many beans makes five? What's the Latin +for poteen, and flummery? You a mathemathitician! could you measure a +snail's horn? How does your hat stay up and nothing undher it? Will you +fight Barny Parrel wid one hand tied! I'd lick you myself! What's Greek +for gosther?”--with many other expressions of a similar stamp. + +“Sir,” said Mat, “lave the justice of this in my hands. By the sowl of +Newton, your own counthryman, ould Isaac, I'll flog the marrow out of +them.” + +“You have heard, Mr. Kavanagh,” continued Mr. Johnston, as they went +along, “of the burning of Moore's stable and horses, the night before +last. The fact is, that the magistrates of the county are endeavoring to +get the incendiaries, and would render a service to any person capable, +either directly or indirectly, of facilitating the object, or stumbling +on a clew to the transaction.” + +“And how could I do you a sarvice in it, sir?” inquired Mat. + +“Why,” replied Mr. Johnston, “from the children. If you could sift them +in an indirect way, so as, without suspicion, to ascertain the absence +of a brother, or so, on that particular night, I might have it in my +power to serve you, Mr. Kavanagh. There will be a large reward offered +to-morrow, besides.” + +“Oh, damn the penny of the reward ever I'd finger, even if I knew the +whole conflagration,” said Mat; “but lave the siftin' of the children +wid myself, and if I can get anything out of them you'll hear from me; +but your honor must keep a close mouth, or you might have occasion to +lend me the money for my own funeral some o' these days. Good-morning, +gintlemen.” The gentlemen departed. + +“May the most ornamental kind of hard fortune pursue you every day you +rise, you desavin' villain, that would have me turn informer, bekase +your brother-in-law, rack-rintin' Moore's stables and horses were burnt; +and to crown all, make the innocent childre the means of hanging their +own fathers or brothers, you rap of the divil! but I'd see you and all +your breed in the flames o' hell first.” Such was Mat's soliloquy as he +entered the school on his return. + +“Now, boys, I'm afther givin' yez to-day and to-morrow for a holyday: +to-morrow we will have our Gregory;* a fine faste, plinty of poteen, +and a fiddle; and you will tell your brothers and sisters to come in +the evening to the dance. You must bring plinty of bacon, hung beef, +and fowls, bread and cabbage--not forgetting the phaties, and sixpence +a-head for the crathur, boys, won't yez?” + +The next day, of course, was one of festivity; every boy brought, in +fact, as much provender as would serve six; but the surplus gave Mat +some good dinners for three months to come. This feast was always held +upon St. Gregory's day, from which circumstance it had its name. The +pupils were at liberty for that day to conduct themselves as +they pleased: and the consequence was, that they became generally +intoxicated, and were brought home in that state to their parents. If +the children of two opposite parties, chanced to be at the same school, +they usually had a fight, of which the master was compelled to feign +ignorance; for if he identified himself with either faction, his +residence in the neighborhood would be short. In other districts, where +Protestant schools were in existence, a battle-royal commonly took +place between the opposite establishments, in some field lying half-way +between them. This has often occurred. + +Every one must necessarily be acquainted with the ceremony of _barring +out_. This took place at Easter and Christmas. The master was brought +or sent out on some fool's errand, the door shut and barricaded, and the +pedagogue excluded, until a certain term of vacation was extorted. +With this, however, the master never complied until all his efforts +at forcing an entrance were found to be ineffectual; because if he +succeeded in getting in, they not only had no claim to a long vacation, +but were liable to be corrected. The schoolmaster had also generally the +clerkship of the parish; an office, however, which in the country parts +of Ireland is without any kind of salary, beyond what results from the +patronage of the priest; a matter of serious moment to a teacher, who, +should he incur his Reverence's displeasure, would be immediately driven +out of the parish. The master, therefore, was always tyrannical and +insolent to the people, in proportion as he stood high in the estimation +of the priest. He was also a regular attendant at all wakes and +funerals, and usually sat among a crowd of the village sages engaged +in exhibiting his own learning, and in recounting the number of his +religious and literary disputations. + +One day, soon after the visit of the gentlemen above mentioned, two +strange men came into Mat's establishment--rather, as Mat thought, in an +unceremonious manner. + +“Is your name Matthew Kavanagh?” said one of them. + +“That is indeed the name that's upon me,” said Mat, with rather an +infirm voice, whilst his face got as pale as ashes. + +“Well,” said the fellow, “we'll just trouble you to walk with us a bit.” + +“How far, with submission, are yez goin' to bring me?” said Mat. + +“Do you know Johnny Short's hotel?” * + + * The county jail.--Johnny Short was for many years the + Governor of Monaghan jail. It was to him the _Mittimus_ + of “Fool Art,” mentioned in Phelim O'Toole's Courtship, + was directed. If the reader will suspend his curiosity, + that is, provided he feels any, until he comes to the + sketch just mentioned, he will get a more ample account + of Johnny Short. + +“My curse upon you, Findramore,” exclaimed Mat, in a paroxysm +of anguish, “every day you rise! but your breath's unlucky to a +schoolmaster; and it's no lie what was often said, that no schoolmaster +ever thruv in you, but something ill came over him.” + +“Don't curse the town, man alive,” said the constable, “but curse your +own ignorance and folly; any way, I wouldn't stand in your coat for the +wealth of the three kingdoms. You'll undoubtedly swing, unless you turn +king's evidence. It's about Moore's business, Mr. Kavanagh.” + +“Damn the bit of that I'd do, even if I knew anything about it; but, +God be praised for it, I can set them all at defiance--that I'm sure of. +Gentlemen, innocence is a jewel.” + +“But Barny Brady, that keeps the shebeen house--you know him--is of +another opinion. You and some of the Pindramore boys took a sup in +Barny's on a sartin night?” + +“Ay, did we, on many a night, and will agin, plase Providence--no harm +in takin' a sup any how--by the same token, that may be you and yer +friend here would have a drop of rale stuff, as a thrate from me?” + +“I know a thrick worth two of that,” said the man; “I thank ye kindly, +Mr. Kavanagh.” + +One Tuesday morning, about six weeks after this event, the largest crowd +ever remembered in that neighborhood was assembled at Findramore Hill, +whereon had been erected a certain wooden machine, yclept--a gallows. A +little after the hour of eleven o'clock two carts were descried winding +slowly down a slope in the southern side of the town and church, which +I have already mentioned, as terminating the view along the level road +north of the hill. As soon as they were observed, a low, suppressed +ejaculation of horror ran through the crowd, painfully perceptible to +the ear--in the expression of ten thousand murmurs all blending into one +deep groan--and to the eye, by a simultaneous motion that ran through +the crowd like an electric shock. The place of execution was surrounded +by a strong detachment of military; and the carts that conveyed the +convicts were also strongly guarded. + +As the prisoners approached the fatal spot, which was within sight +of the place where the outrage had been perpetrated, the shrieks and +lamentations of their relations and acquaintances were appalling indeed. +Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins, and all persons to the +most remote degree of kindred and acquaintanceship, were present--all +excited by the alternate expression of grief and low-breathed vows of +retaliation; not only relations, but all who were connected with them +by the bonds of their desperate and illegal oaths. Every eye, in fact, +coruscated with a wild and savage fire, that shot from under brows knit +in a spirit that deemed to cry out Blood, vengeance--blood, vengeance! +The expression was truly awful; all what rendered it more terrific was +the writhing reflection, that numbers and physical force were unavailing +against a comparatively small body of armed troops. This condensed the +fiery impulse of the moment into an expression of subdued rage, that +really shot like livid gleams from their visages. + +At length the carts stopped under the gallows; and, after a short +interval spent in devotional exercise, three of the culprits ascended +the platform, who, after recommending themselves to God, and avowing +their innocence, although the clearest possible evidence of guilt had +been brought against them, were launched into another life, among the +shrieks and groans of the multitude. The other three then ascended; two +of them either declined, or had not strength to address the assembly. +The third advanced to the edge of the boards--it was Mat. After two +or three efforts to speak, in which he was unsuccessful from bodily +weakness, he at length addressed them as follows:-- + +“My friends and good people--In hopes that you may be all able to +demonstrate the last proposition laid down by a dying man, I undertake +to address you before I depart to that world where Euclid, De Cartes, +and many other larned men are gone before me. There is nothing in all +philosophy more true than that, as the multiplication-table says, 'two +and two makes four;' but it is equally veracious and worthy of credit, +that if you do not abnegate this system that you work the common rules +of your proceedings by--if you don't become loyal men, and give up +burnin' and murdherin', the solution of it will be found on the gallows. +I acknowledge myself to be guilty, for not separatin' myself clane from +yez; we have been all guilty, and may God forgive thim that jist now +departed wid a lie in their mouth.” + +Here he was interrupted by a volley of execrations and curses, mingled +with “stag, informer, thraithor to the thrue cause!” which, for some +time, compelled him to be silent. + +“You may curse,” continued Mat; “but it's too late now to abscond the +truth--the _sum_ of my wickedness and folly is worked out, and you see +the _answer_. God forgive me, many a young crathur I enticed into the +_Ribbon_ business, and now it's to ind in _Hemp_. Obey the law; or, if +you don't you will find a _lex talionis_ the construction of which is, +that if a man burns or murdhers he won't miss hanging; take warning by +me--by us all; for, although I take God to witness that I was not at +the perpetration of the crime that I'm to be suspinded for, yet I often +connived, when I might have superseded the carrying of such intuitions +into effectuality. I die in pace wid all the world, save an' except the +Findramore people, whom, may the maledictionary execration of a +dying man follow into eternal infinity! My manuscription of conic +sections--” Here an extraordinary buz commenced among the crowd, which +rose gradually into a shout of wild, astounding exultation. The sheriff +followed the eyes of the multitude, and perceived a horseman dashing +with breathless fury up towards the scene of execution. He carried and +waved a white handkerchief on the end of a rod, and made signals with +his hat to stop the execution. He arrived, and brought a full pardon for +Mat, and a commutation of sentence to transportation for life for the +other two. What became of Mat I know not; but in Findramore he never +dared to appear, as certain death would have been the consequence of his +not dying _game_. With respect to Barny Brady, who kept the shebeen, +and was the principal evidence against those who were concerned in this +outrage, he was compelled to enact an _ex tempore_ death in less than +a month afterwards; having been found dead, with a slip of paper in his +mouth, inscribed--“This is the fate of all Informers.” + + +* * * * * + + +(Note to page 834.) + +The Author, in order to satisfy his readers that the character of Mat +Kavanagh as a hedge schoolmaster is not by any means overdrawn, begs to +subjoin (verbatim) the following authentic production of one, which will +sufficiently explain itself, and give an excellent notion of the mortal +feuds and jealousies which subsist between persons of this class:-- + +“To the Public.--Having read a printed Document, emanating, as it +were, from a vile, mean, and ignorant miscreant of the name of ------, +calumniating and vituperating me; it is evidently the production of a +vain, supercilious, disappointed, frantic, purblind maniac of the name +of ------, a bedlamite to all intents and purposes, a demon in the +disguise of virtue, and a herald of hell in the paradise of innocence, +possessing neither principle, honor, nor honesty; a vain and vapid +creature whom nature plumed out for the annoyance of ------ and its +vicinity. + +“It is well known and appreciated by an enlightened and discerning +public, that I am as competently qualified to conduct the duties of a +Schoolmaster as any Teacher in Munster. (Here I pause, stimulated by +dove-eyed humility, and by the fine and exalted feelings of nature, to +make a few honorable exceptions, particularly when I memorize the names +and immortal fame of a Mr. ------, a Mr.---------, a Mr. ---------, a +Mr.---------, a Mr. ---------, a Mr. --------, ---------; a Mr. Matt. +---------, ---------; a Mr.---------, ---------; and many other stars of +the first magnitude, too numerous for insertion). + +“The notorious impostor and biped animal already alluded to, actuated by +an overweening desire of notoriety, and in order to catch the applause +of some one, grovelling in the morasses of insignificance and vice, +like himself, leaves his native obscurity, and indulges in falsehood, +calumny, and defamation. I am convinced that none of the highly +respectable Teachers of -------- has had any participation in this +scurrilous transaction, as I consider them to be sober, moral, exemplary +well-conducted men, possessed of excellent literary abilities; but this +expatriated ruffian and abandoned profligate, being aware of the marked +and unremitting attention which I have heretofore invariably paid to the +scholars committed to my care, and the astonishing proficiency which, +generally speaking, will be an accompaniment of competency, instruction, +assiduity and perseverance, devised this detestable and fiendish +course in order to tarnish and injure my unsullied character, it being +generally known and justly acknowledged that I never gave utterance +to an unguarded word--that I have always conducted myself as a man of +inoffensive, mild, and gentle habits, of unblemished moral character, +and perfectly sensible of the importance of inculcating on the young +mind, moral and religious instruction, a love of decency, cleanliness, +industry, honesty, and truth--that my only predominant fault some years +ago, consisted in partaking of copious libations of the 'Moantain Dew,' +which I shall for ever mourn with heartfelt compunction.--But I return +thanks to the Great God, for more than eighteen months my lips have +not partaken of that infuriating beverage to which I was unfortunately +attached, and my habitual propensity vanished at the sanctified +and ever-memorable sign of the cross--the memento of man's lofty +destination, and miraculous injunction, of the great, illustrious, and +never-to-be-forgotten Apostle of Temperance. I am now an humble member +of this exemplary and excellent society, which is engaged in the +glorious and hallowed cause of promoting Temperance, with the zealous +solicitude of parents.--I am one of these noble men, because they +are sober men, who have triumphed over their habits, conquered their +passions, and put their predominant propensities to flight; yes, +kind-hearted, magnanimous, and lofty high, minded conqueror, I have to +announce to you that I have gained repeated victories, and consigned to +oblivion the hydra-headed monster, Intemperance; and in consequence of +which, have been consigned from poverty and misery, to affluence and +happiness, possessing 'ready rino,' or ample pecuniary means to make one +comfortable and happy thereby enjoying 'the feast of reason and the +flow of soul,' i.e.,--an honest, cozy warm, comfortable cup of tea, to +consign my drooping, sober, and cheerful spirits into the flow of soul, +and philosophy of pleasure. I, therefore, do feel I hid no occasion to +speak a word in vindication of my conduct and character. A conspiracy +in embryo, formed by a triumvirate, was brought to maturity by as +experienced a calumniator, as Canty, the Hangman from Cork, was in the +discharge of his functions, when in the situation of municipal officer; +and the hoary-headed cadman and crack-brained Pedagogue was appointed +a necessary evil vehicle for industriously circulating said maniac +calumny. Why did not this base Plebeian, anterior to his giving +publicity to the tartaric nausea that rankled at his gloomy heart, +forward the corroding philippic, and bid defiance to my contradiction? +No, no; he knew full well that with his scanty stock of English +ammunition scattered over the sterile floor of his literary magazine, he +could not have the effrontery, impudence, or presumption to enter +the list of philosophical and scientific disputation with one who has +traversed the thorny paths of literature, explored its mazy windings, +and who is thoroughly and radically fortified, as being encompassed +with the impenetrable shield of genuine science. This red, hot, fiery, +unguarded locust, in the inanity of his mind's incomprehensibleness, has +not only incurred my displeasure by his satirical dogged Lampoons, etc., +but the abhorrence, animosity, and holy indignation of many who move in +the high circle, as well as the ineffable contempt of the majority +of those good and useful members of society, who are engaged in the +glorious and delightful task of 'teaching the young idea how to shoot,' +and forming the mind to rectitude of conduct; and whose labors +are tremendous--I speak from long and considerable experience in +scholastic pursuits. I am as perfectly aware as any man of the friendly +intercourse, urbanity, and social reciprocation of kindness and demeanor +that ought to exist among Teachers;--and, in a word, that they should +be like the sun and moon--receptacles of each other's light. But these +malicious, ignorant, callous-hearted traducers finding it perfectly +congenial to their usual habits, and perhaps feeling no remorse +of conscience in departing from those principles which must always +accompany men of education, carry into effect their scheme of wanton, +atrocious, and deliberate falsehood. And accordingly, in pursuance of +their infernal piece of villainy, one of them being sensible of +being held in contempt and ridicule by an enlightened public--whose +approbation alone is the true criterion by which Teachers ought to +be sanctioned, countenanced, and patronized--incited, ordered, and +directed, the aforesaid Lampooner--a reckless, heartless, illiterate, +evil-minded ghost, yes my friends an evil-spirit, created by the +wrath of God--to pour out the rigmarole effusions of his silly and +contemptible lucubrations. It is a well-known fact, that this vile +calumniator is the shame, the disgrace, the opprobrium, and brand of +detestation; the sacrilegious and perjured outcast of society, who would +cut any man's throat for one glass of the soul-destroying beverage. This +accursed viper and well-known hobgoblin, labors under a complication of +maladies: at one time you might see him leaving the Court-house of with +the awful crime of perjury depicted in capital letters on his forehead, +and indelibly engraven in the recesses of his heart, considering that +every tongueless object was eloquent of his woe, and at periods laboring +under a semi-perspicuous, semi-opaque, gutta-serena, attended with an +acute palpitation of his pericranium, and a most tormenting delirium +of intellects from which he finds not the least mitigation until he +consopiates his optics under the influence of Morpheus. There are ties +of affinity and consanguinity existing between this manfacturer of +atrocious falsehoods and barefaced calumnies, and a Jack-Ass, which ties +cannot be easily dissolved, the affinity or similitude is perceptible to +an indifferent observer in the accent, pronunciation, modulation of the +voice of the biped animal, and in the braying of the quadruped. This +Jack-Ass you might also behold perambulating the streets of ------, +a second Judas Iscariot--a houseless, homeless, penniless, forlorn +fugitive, like Old Nick or Beelzebub, seeking whom he might betray +and injure in the public estimation, in rapacity, or in discharging a +blunderbuss full of falsehood against the most pure and unimpeachable +Member of society! Is it not astonishing this wretched, braying, +incorrigible mendicant does not put on a more firm and unalterable +resolution of taking pattern by, and living in accordance with the +laudable and exemplary habits of members of the Literatii, the ornament +of which learned body is the Rev. Dr. King, of Ennis College, a +gentleman by birth, by principles, and more than all, a gentleman by +education; whose mind is pregnant with inexhaustible stores of classical +and mathematical lore, entertainment and knowledge; whose learning and +virtues have shed a lustre on the human kind; a gentleman possessing +almost superhuman talents. No, he must persevere and run in his +accustomed old course of abomination, slander, iniquity, and vice. + +“In conclusion, to the R. C. Clergymen of ------, and the respectable +portion of the laity, I return my ardent heartfelt thanks--to the +former, who are the pious, active, and indefatigable instructors of the +peasantry, their consolers in affliction, their resource in calamity, +their preceptors and models in religion, the trustees of their interest, +their visitors in sickness, and their companions on their beds of death; +and from the latter I have experienced considerable gratitude in unison +with all the other fine qualities inherent in their nature; while +neither time nor place shall ever banish from my grateful I heart, +their urbanity, hospitality, munificence, and kindness to me on every +occasion. + +“I have the honor to be their very devoted, much obliged, and grateful +Servant, + +“JOHN O'KELLY. + +“The itinerant cosmopolite, to use his own phraseology, accuses me +with being lame--I reply, so was Lord Byron; and why not a 'Star from +Dromcoloher' be similarly honored, for + + If God, one member has oppress'd, + He has made more perfect all the rest. + +“The following poetic lines are to be inserted in reply to the doggerel +composition of the equivocating and hoary champion of wilful and +deliberate falsehood, and a compound of knavery, deception, villainy, +and dissimulation, wherever he goes:-- + + “O'Kelly's my name, + I think it no shame, + Of sempiternal fame in that line, + As for my being lame, + The rest of my frame, + Is somewhat superior to thine. + + These addled head swains, + Of paralyzed brains, + Who charge me with corrupting youth, + Are a perjuring pair, + In Belzebub's chair, + Stamped with disgrace and untruth.” + +We are obliged to omit some remarks that accompanied the following +poetical effusion:-- + + “A book to the blind signifies not a feather, + Whose look and whose mind chime both together, + Boreas, pray blow this vile rogue o'er the terry, + For he is a disgrace and a scandal to Kerry.” + +The writer of this, after passing the highest eulogium on the Rev. Mr. +O'Kelly, P.P., Kilmichael, in speaking of him, says, + + “In whom, the Heavenly virtues do unite, + Serenely fair, in glowing colors bright, + The shivering mendicant's attire, + The stranger's friend, the orphan's sire, + Benevolent and mild; + The guide of youth, + The light of truth, + By all condignly styl'd.” + +A gentleman having applied for a transcript of this interesting document +for his daughter, Mr. O'Kelly says, “This transcript is given with +perfect cheerfulness, at the suggestion of the amiable, accomplished, +highly-gifted, original genius, Miss Margaret Brew, of --------, to +whom, with the most respectful deference, I take the liberty of applying +the following most appropriate poetic lines:-- + + “Kilrush, a lovely spot of Erin's Isle, + May you and your fair ones in rapture smile, + By force of genius and superior wit, + Any station in high life, they'd lit. + Raise the praise worthy, in style unknown, + Laud her, who has great merit of her own. + Had I the talents of the bards of yore, + I would touch my harp and sing for ever more, + Of Miss Brew, unrivaled, and in her youth, + The ornament of friendship, love and truth. + That fair one, whose matchless eloquence divine, + Finds out the sacred pores of man sublime, + Tells us, a female of Kilrush doth shine. + In point of language, eloquence, and ease, + She equals the celebrated Dowes now-a-days, + A splendid poetess--how sweet her verse, + That which, without a blush, Downes might rehearse; + Her throbbing breast the home of virtue rare, + Her bosom, warm, loving and sincere, + A mild fair one, the muses only care, + Of learning, sense, true wit, and talents rare; + Endless her fame, on golden wings she'd fly, + Loud as the trumpet of the rolling sky. + +“I avail myself of this opportunity, in the most humble posture, the +pardon and indulgence of that nobleman of the most profound considerable +talents, unbounded liberality, and genuine worth, Crofton M. Yandeleur, +Esq., for the culpable omission, which I have incautiously and +inadvertly made, in not prior to, and before all, tendered his honor, my +warm hearted and best acknowledgments, and participating in the general +joy, visible here on every countenance, occasioned by the restoration +to excellent health, which his most humane, truly charitable, and +illustrious beloved patroness of virtue and morality, Lady Grace T. +Yandeleur, now enjoys May they very late, when they see their children, +as well as their numerous, happy and contented tenantry, flourish around +them in prosperity, virtue, honor, and independence--may they then +resign their temporal care, to partake of the never-ending joys, glory, +and felicity of Heaven; these are the fervent wishes and ardent prayers +of their ever grateful servant, + +“JOHN O'KELLY. + + “O rouse my muse and launch in praise forth, + Dwell with delight, with extasy on worth; + In these kind souls in conspicuous flows, + Their liberal hands expelling-human woes. + Tell, when dire want oppressed the needy poor, + They drove the ghastly spectre from the door. + Such noble actions yield more pure content, + Than thousands squander'd or in banquets spent. + +“I hope, kind and extremely patient reader, you will find my piece +humorous, interesting, instructive, and edifying. In delineating and +drawing to life the representation of my assailant, aggressor, and +barefaced calumniator. I have preferred the natural order, free, and +familiar style, to the artificial order, grave, solemn, and antiquated +style; and in so doing, I have had occasion to have reference to the +vocal metaphrase of some words. With a due circumspection of the use +of their synonymy, taking care that the import and acceptation of each +phrase and word should not appear frequently synonymous. Again. I have +applied the whip unsparingly to his back, and have given him such a +laudable castigation, as to compel him to comport himself in future with +propriety and politeness; yes, it is quite obvious that I have done it, +by an appropriate selection of catogoramatic and cencatogoramatic terms +and words. I have been particularly careful to adorn it with some +poetic spontaneous effusions, and although I own to you, that I have no +pretensions to be an adept in poetry, as I have only moderately sipped +of the Helicon Fountain; yet from my knowledge of Orthometry I can +prove the correctness of it; by special and general metric analysis. In +conclusion, I have not indulged in Rhetorical figures and Tropes, but +have rigidly adhered to the use of figurative and literal language; +finally I have used a concatination of appropriate mellifluous epithets, +logically and philosophically accurate, copious, sublime, eloquent, and +harmonious. + +“Adieu! Adieu! Remember, JOHN O'KELLY, Literary Teacher, And a native of +Dromcoloher.” + + +“The author of this extempore production of writing a Treatise on Mental +Calculations, to which are appended more than three hundred scientific, +ingenious, and miscellaneous questions, with their solutions. + +“Mental calculations for the first time are simplified, which will +prove a grand desideratum and of the greatest importance in mercantile +affairs. + + “You will not wonder when I will ye, + You have read some pieces from 0' Kelly; + Halt he does, but 'tis no more + Than Lord Byron did before; + Read his pieces and you'll find + There is no limping in his mind; + Reader, give your kind subscription, + Of you, he will give a grand description. + + Price 2s., to be paid in advance, + +“There are Sixty-eight Subscribers to the forthcoming work, gentlemen +of considerable Talents, Liberality, and worth;--who, with perfect +cheerfulness, have evinced a most laudable disposition to foster, +encourage, and reward, a specimen of Irish Manufacture and Native +Talent, in so humble a person as their extremely grateful, much obliged, +and faithful servant, + +“JOHN O'KELLY.” + + + + + + +THE MIDNIGHT MASS. + + +Frank M'Kenna was a snug farmer, frugal and industrious in his habits, +and, what is rare amongst most men of his class, addicted to neither +drink nor quarrelling. He lived at the skirt of a mountain, which ran up +in long successive undulations, until it ended in a dark, abrupt peak, +very perpendicular on one side, and always, except on a bright day, +capped with clouds. Before his door lay a hard plain, covered only with +a kind of bent, and studded with round gray rocks, protruding somewhat +above its surface. Through this plain, over a craggy channel, ran a +mountain torrent, that issued to the right of M'Kenna's house, from a +rocky and precipitous valley which twisted itself round the base of +the mountain until it reached the perpendicular side, where the peak +actually overhung it. On looking either from the bottom of the valley or +the top of the peak, the depth appeared immense; and, on a summer's day, +when the black thorns and other hardy shrubs that in some placas clothed +its rocky sides were green, to view the river sparkling below you in the +sun, as it flung itself over two or three cataracts of great depth and +boldness, filled the mind with those undefinable sensations of pleasure +inseparable from a contemplation of the sublimities of nature. Nor did +it possess less interest when beheld in the winter storm. Well do we +remember, though then ignorant of our own motives, when we have, in the +turmoil of the elements, climbed its steep, shaggy sides, disappearing +like a speck, or something not of earth, among the dark clouds that +rolled over its summit, for no other purpose than to stand upon its +brow, and look down on the red torrent, dashing with impetuosity from +crag to crag, whilst the winds roared, and the clouds flew in dark +columns around us, giving to the natural wildness of the place an air +of wilder desolation.--Beyond this glen the mountains stretched away for +eight or ten miles in swelling masses, between which lay many extensive +sweeps, well sheltered and abundantly stocked with game, particularly +with hares and grouse. M'Kenna's house stood, as I said, at the foot +of this mountain, just where the yellow surface of the plain began to +darken into the deeper hues of the heath; to the left lay a considerable +tract of stony land in a state of cultivation; and beyond the river, +exactly opposite the house, rose a long line of hills, studded with +houses, and in summer diversified with pasture and corn fields, the +beauty of which was heightened by the columns of smoke that slanted +across the hills, as the breeze carried them through the lucid haze of +the atmosphere. + +M'Kenna's family consisted of himself, his wife, two daughters, and +two sons. One of these was a young man addicted to drink, idle, +ill-tempered, and disobedient; seldom taking a part in the labors of +the family, but altogether devoted to field sports, fairs, markets, +and dances. In many parts of Ireland it is usual to play at cards for +mutton, loaves, fowls, or whiskey, and he was seldom absent from such +gambling parties, if held within a reasonable distance. Often had +the other members of the family remonstrated with him on his idle and +immoral courses; but their remonstrances only excited his bad passions, +and produced, on his part, angry and exasperating language, or open +determination to abandon the family altogether and enlist. For some +years he went on in this way, a hardened, ungodly profligate, spurning +the voice of reproof and of conscience, and insensible to the entreaties +of domestic affection, or the commands of parental authority. Such was +his state of mind and mode of life when our story opens. + +At the time in which the incidents contained in this sketch took place, +the peasantry of Ireland, being less encumbered with heavy rents, and +more buoyant in spirits than the decay of national prosperity has of +late permitted them to be, indulged more frequently, and to a greater +stretch, in those rural sports and festivities so suitable to their +natural love of humor and amusement. Dances, wakes, and weddings, were +then held according to the most extravagant forms of ancient usage; the +people were easier in their circumstances, and consequently indulged in +them with lighter hearts, and a stronger relish for enjoyment. When any +of the great festivals of their religion approached, the popular mind, +unrepressed by poverty and national dissension, gradually elevated +itself to a species of wild and reckless mirth, productive of incidents +irresistibly ludicrous, and remarkably characteristic of Irish manners. +It is not, however, to be expected, that a people whose love of fighting +is so innate a principle in their disposition, should celebrate these +festive seasons without an occasional crime, which threw its deep shadow +over the mirthful character of their customs. Many such occurred; but +they were looked upon then with a degree of horror and detestation of +which we can form but a very inadequate idea at present. + +It was upon the advent of one of those festivals--Christmas--which the +family of M'Kenna, like every other family in the neighborhood, were +making preparations to celebrate with the usual hilarity. They cleared +out their barn in order to have a dance on Christmas-eve; and for this +purpose, the two sons and the servant-man wrought with that kind of +industry produced by the cheerful prospect of some happy event. For a +week or fortnight before the evening on which the dance was appointed +to be held, due notice of it had been given to the neighbors, and, of +course, there was no doubt but that it would be numerously attended. + +Christmas-eve, as the day preceding Christmas is called, has been always +a day of great preparation and bustle. Indeed the whole week previous to +it is also remarkable, as exhibiting the importance attached by the +people to those occasions on which they can give a loose to their love +of fun and frolic. The farm-house undergoes a thorough cleansing. +Father and sons are, or rather used to be, all engaged in repairing +the out-houses, patching them with thatch where it was wanted, mending +mangers, paving stable-floors, fixing cow-stakes, making boraghs,* +removing nuisances, and cleaning streets. + + * The rope with which a cow is tied in the cowhouse. + +On the ether hand, the mother, daughters and maids, were also engaged in +their several departments; the latter scouring the furniture with sand: +the mother making culinary preparations, baking bread, killing fowls, +or salting meat; whilst the daughters were unusually intent upon the +decoration of their own dress, and the making up of the family linen. +All, however, was performed with an air of gayety and pleasure; the ivy +and holly were disposed about the dressers and collar beams with great +glee; the chimneys were swept amidst songs and laughter; many bad +voices, and some good ones, were put in requisition; whilst several who +had never been known to chaunt a stave, alarmed the listeners by the +grotesque and incomprehensible nature of their melody. Those who were +inclined to devotion--and there is no lack of it in Ireland--took to +carols and hymns, which they sang, for want of better airs, to tunes +highly comic. We have ourselves often heard the Doxology sung in Irish +verse to the facetious air of “Paudeen O'Rafferty,” and other hymns to +the tune of “Peas upon a Trencher,” and “Cruskeen Lawn.” Sometimes, +on the contrary, many of them, from the very fulness of jollity, +would become pathetic, and indulge in those touching old airs of their +country, which maybe truly,called songs of sorrow, from the exquisite +and simple pathos with which they abound. This, though it may seem +anomalous, is but natural; for there is nothing so apt to recall to +the heart those friends, whether absent or dead, with whom it has been +connected, as a stated festival. Affection is then awakened, and summons +to the hearth where it presides those on whose face it loves to look; +if they be living, it places them in the circle of happiness which +surrounds it; and if they be removed forever from such scenes, their +memory, which, amidst the din of ordinary life, has almost passed away, +is now restored, and their loss felt as if it had been only just then +sustained. For this reason, at such times, it is not at all unusual to +see the elders of Irish families touched by pathos as well as humor. The +Irish are a people whose affections are as strong as their imaginations +are vivid; and, in illustration of this, we may add, that many a time +have we seen them raised to mirth and melted into tears almost at the +same time, by a song of the most comic character. The mirth, however, +was for the song, and the sorrow for the memory of some beloved relation +who had been remarkable for singing it, or with whom it had been a +favorite. + +We do not affirm that in the family of the M'Kennas there were, upon the +occasion which we were describing, any tears shed. The enjoyments of the +season and the humors of the expected dance, both combined to give them +a more than usual degree of mirth and frolic At an early hour all that +was necessary for the due celebration of that night and the succeeding +day, had been arranged and completed. The whiskey had been laid in, +the Christmas candles bought, the barn cleared out, the seats laid; in +short, every thing in its place, and a place for everything. About one +o'clock, however, the young members of the family began to betray some +symptoms of uneasiness; nor was M'Kenna himself, though the _farithee_ +or man of the house, altogether so exempt from what they felt, as might, +if the cause of it were known to our readers, be expected from a man of +his years and experience. + +From time to time one of the girls tripped out as far as the stile +before the door, where she stood looking in a particular direction until +her sight was fatigued. + +“Och,' och,” her mother exclaimed during her absence, “but that +colleen's sick about Barny!--musha, but it would be the beautiful joke, +all out, if he'd disappoint the whole of yez. Faix, it wouldn't be +unlike the same man, to go wherever he can make most money; and sure +small blame to him for that; what's one place to him more than another?” + +“Hut,” M'Kenna replied, rising, however, to go out himself, “the +girsha's makin' a _bauliore_ (* laughing stock) of herself.” + +“An' where's yourself slippin' out to?” rejoined his wife, with a wink +of shrewd humor at the rest. “I say, Frank, are you goin' to look for +him too? Mavrone, but that's sinsible! Why, thin, you snakin' ould +rogue, is that the way wid you? Throth I have often hard it said, that +'one fool makes many;' but sure enough, 'an ould fools worse nor any.' +Come in here this minute, I say--walk back--you to have your horn up! +Faix, indeed!” + +“Why! I am only goin' to get the small phaties boiled for the pigs, poor +crathurs, for their Christmas dinner. Sure we oughtn't to neglect thim +no more than ourselves, the crathurs, that can't spake their wants, +except by grantin'.” + +“Saints above!--the Lord forgive me for bringin' down their names upon +a Christmas Eve, but it's beside himself the man is! an' him knows +that the phaties wor boiled an' made up into balls for them airly this +mornin'!” + +In the meantime, the wife's good-natured attack upon her husband +produced considerable mirth in the family. In consequence of what she +said, he hesitated: but ultimately was proceeding towards the door, +when the daughter returned, her brow flushed, and her eye sparkling with +mirth and delight. + +“Ha!” said the father, with a complacent smile, “all's right, Peggy, you +seen him, alanna. The music's in your eye, acushla; an' the' feet of you +can't keep themselves off o' the ground; an' all bekase you seen Barny +Dhal (* blind Barney) pokin' acrass the fields, wid his head up, an' +his skirt stickn' out behind him wid Granua Waile.” (* The name of his +fiddle) + +The father had conjectured properly, for the joy which animated the +girl's countenance could not be misunderstood. + +“Barny's comin',” she exclaimed, clapping her hands with great glee, +“an' our Frank wid him; they're at the river, and Frank has him on his +back, and Granua Waile undhor his arm! Come out, come out! You'll die +for good, lookin' at them staggerin' acrass. I knew he'd come! I knew +it! and be good to thim that invinted Christmas; it's a brave time, +faix!” + +In a moment the inmates were grouped before the door, all anxious to +catch a glimpse of Barny and Granua Waile. + +“Faix ay! Sure enough.. Sarra doubt if it! Wethen, I'd never mistrust +Barny!” might be heard in distinct exclamations from each. + +“Faith he's a Trojan,” said the _farithee_, an' must get lashins of +the best we have. Come in, childher, an' red the hob for him. + + “'Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + An' the divil a mouth + Shall be friends wid drouth, + While I have whiskey, ale, or beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but waust a year; + Wid han' in han', + An' can to can, + Then Hi for the whiskey, ale, and beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + Then the high and the low + Shall shake their toe, + When primed wid whiskey, ale, an' beer.' + +For all that, the sorra fig I care for either ale or beer, barrin' in +regard of mere drouth; give me the whiskey, Eh, Alley--won't we have a +jorum any how?” + +“Why, thin,” replied the wife, “the devil be from me (the crass about +us for namin' him) but you're a greater _Brinoge_ than some of your +childher! I suppose its your capers Frank has in him. Will you behave +yourself, you old slingpoke? Behave, I say, an let me go. Childher, +will you help me to flake this man out o' the place? Look at him, +here, caperin' an' crackin' his fingers afore me, an' pullin' me out to +dance!” + +“Och, och, murdher alive,” exclaimed the good man out of breath, “I seen +the day, any way! An', maybe, could show a step or two yet, if I was +well fixed. You can't forget ould times, Alley? Eh, you thief?” + +“Musha, have sinse, man alive,” replied the wife, in a tone of placid +gravity, which only betrayed the pleasure she herself felt in his +happiness. “Have sinse, an' the strange man comin' in, an' don't let him +see you in such figaries.” + +The observation of the good woman produced a loud laugh among them. +“Arrah what are yez laughing at?” she inquired. + +“Why, mother,” said one of her daughters “how could Barny _Dhal_, a +blind man, see anybody?” + +Alley herself laughed at her blunder, but wittily replied, “Faith, +avourneen, maybe he can often see as nately through his ear as you could +do wid your eyes open; sure they say he can hear the grass growin'.” + +“For that matther,” observed the farithee, joining in the joke, “he can +see as far as any of us--while we're asleep.” + +The conversation was thus proceeding, when Barney _Dhal_ and young Frank +M'Kenna entered the kitchen. + +In a moment all hands were extended to welcome Barney: “_Millia failte +ghud_, Barny!” “_Cead millia failte ghud_, Barny!” “Oh, Barny, did you +come at last? You're welcome.” “Barny, my Trojan, how is every cart-load +of you?” “How is Granua Waile, Barny?” + +“Why, thin, holy music, did you never see Barny _Dhal_ afore? Clear off +from about me, or, by the sweets of rosin, I'll play the devil an' brake +things. 'You're welcome, Barny!'--an' 'How are you, Barny?' Why thin, +piper o' Moses, don't I know I'm welcome, an' yit you must be tellin' me +what everybody knows! But sure I have great news for you all!” + +“What is that, Barny?” + +“Well, but can yez keep a sacret? Can yez, girls?” + +“Faix can we, Barny, achora.” + +“Well, so can I--ha, ha, ha! Now, are,yez sarved? Come, let me to the +hob.” + +“Here, Barny; I'll lead you, Barny.” + +“No, I _have_ him; come, Barny, I'll lead you: here, achora, this is the +spot--that's it. Why, Barny,” said the arch girl, as she placed him in +the corner, “sorra one o' the hob but knows you: it never stirs--ha, ha, +ha!” + +“Throth, a colleen, that tongue o' yours will delude some one afore +long, if it hasn't done so already.” + +“But how is Granua Waile, Barny?” + +“Poor Granua is it? Faith, times is hard wid her often. 'Granua,' says +I to her 'what do you say, acushla? we're axed to go to two or three +places to-day--what do you say? Do you lead, an' I'll follow: your +will is my pleasure.' 'An' where are we axed to?' says Granua, sinsible +enough. 'Why,' says I, 'to Paddy Lanigan's, to Mike Hartigan's, to +Jack Lynch's, an' at the heel o' the hunt, to Frank M'Kenna's, of the +Mountain Bar.' 'By my song,' says she, 'you may go where you plase; as +for me, I'm off to Frank M'Kenna's, one of the dacentest men in Europe, +an' his wife the same. Divil a toe I'll set a waggin' in any other place +this night,' says she; 'for 'tis there we're both well thrated wid the +best the house can afford. So,' says she, 'in the name of all that's +musical, you're welcome to the poker an' tongs anywhere else; for me, +I'm off to Frank's.' An' faith, sure enough, she took to her pumps; an' +it was only comin' over the hill there, that young Frank an' I overtuck +her: divil a lie in it.” + +In fact, Barney, besides being a fiddler, was a senachie of the first +water; could tell a story, or trace a genealogy as well as any man +living, and draw the long bow in either capacity much better than he +could in the practice of his more legitimate profession. + +“Well, here she is, Barny, to the fore,” said the aforesaid arch girl, +“an' now give us a tune.” + +“What!” replied the farithee, “is it wid-out either aitin' or dhrinkin'? +Why, the girsha's beside herself! Alley, aroon, get him the linin' * an' +a sup to tighten his elbow.” + + * Linin'--lining, so eating and drinking are often + humorously termed by the people. + +The good woman instantly went to provide refreshments for the musician. + +“Come, girls,” said Barny, “will yez get me a scythe or a handsaw.” + +“A scythe or a handsaw! eh, then what to do, Barny?” + +“Why, to pare my nails, to be sure,” replied Barny, with a loud laugh; +“but stay--come back here--I'll make shift to do wid a pair of scissors +this bout. + + “'The parent finds his sons, + The tutherer whips them; + The nailer makes his nails, + The fiddler clips them.'” + +Wherever Barny came there was mirth, and a disposition to be pleased, so +that his jokes always told. + +“Musha, the sorra _pare_ you, Barny,” said one of the girls; “but +there's no bein' up to you, good or bad.” + +“The sorra _pair_ me, is it? faix, Nancy, you'll soon be paired yourself +wid some one, avourneen. Do you know a sartin young man wid a nose on +him runnin' to a point like the pin of a sun-dial, his knees brakin' the +king's pace, strikin' one another ever since he was able to walk, an' +that was about four years afther he could say his Father Nosther; an' +faith, whatever you may think, there's no makin' them paceable except by +puttin' between them! The wrong side of his shin, too, is foremost; +an' though the one-half of his two feet is all heels, he keeps the same +heels for set days an' bonfire nights, an' savinly walks on his ankles. +His leg, too, Nancy, is stuck in the middle of his foot, like a poker in +a pick-axe; an', along wid all--” + +“Here, Barny, thry your hand at this,” said the good woman, who had +not heard his ludicrous description of her fictitious son-in-law--“_eeh +arran agus bee laudher_, Barny, _ate bread and be strong_. I'll warrant +when you begin to play, they'll give you little time to do anything but +scrape away;--taste the dhrink first, anyway, in the name o' God,”--and +she filled him a glass. + +“Augh, augh! faith you're the moral of a woman. Are you there, Frank +M'Kenna?--here's a sudden disholution to your family! May they be +scattered wid all speed--manin' the girls--to all corners o' the +parish!--ha, ha, ha! Well, that won't vex them, anyhow; an' next, here's +a merry Chris'mas to us, an' many o' them! Whooh! blur-an'-age! whooh! +oh, by gorra!--that's--that's--Frank run afther my breath--I've lost +it--run, you tory: oh, by gor, that's stuff as sthrong as Sampson, so +it is. Arrah, what well do you dhraw that from? for, faith, 'twould be +mighty convanient to live near it in a hard frost.” + +Barny was now silent for some time, which silence was produced by the +industry he displayed in assailing the substantial refreshments before +him. When he had concluded his repast he once more tasted the liquor; +after which he got Granua Waile, and continued playing their favorite +tunes, and amusing them with anecdotes, both true and false, until the +hour drew nigh when his services were expected by the young men and +maidens who had assembled to dance in the barn. Occasionally, however, +they took a preliminary step in which they were joined by few of their +neighbors. Old Frank himself felt his spirits elevated by contemplating +the happiness of his children and their young associates. + +“Frank,” said he, to the youngest of his sons, “go down to Owen +Reillaghan's, and tell him an' his family to come up to the dance early +in the evenin'. Owen's a pleasant man,” he added, “and a good neighbor, +but a small thought too strict in his duties. Tell him to come up, +Frank, airly, I say; he'll have time enough to go to the Midnight Mass +afther dancin' the 'Rakes of Ballyshanny,' and 'the Baltihorum jig;' an' +maybe he can't do both in style!” + +“Ay,” said Frank, in a jeering manner, “he carries a handy heel at +the dancin', and a soople tongue at the prayin'; but let him alone for +bringin' the bottom of his glass and his eyebrow acquainted. But if he'd +pray less--” + +“Go along, a _veehonce_, (* you profligate) an' bring him up,” replied +the father: “you to talk about prayin'! Them that 'ud catch you at a +prayer ought to be showed for the world to wondher at: a man wid two +heads an him would be a fool to him. Go along, I say, and do what you're +bid.” + +“I'm goin',” said Frank. “I'm off; but what if he doesn't come? I'll +then have my journey for nothin'.” + +“An' it's good payment for any journey ever you'll make, barrin' it's to +the gallows,” replied the father, nearly provoked at his reluctance in +obeying him: “won't you have dancin' enough in the coorse o' the night, +for you'll not go to the Midnight Mass, and why don't you be off wid you +at wanst?” + +Frank shrugged his shoulders two or three times, being loth to leave +the music and dancing; but on seeing his father about to address him +in sharper language, he went out with a frown on his brows, and a +half-smothered imprecation bursting from his lips. + +He had not proceeded more than a few yards from the door, when he met +Rody Teague, his father's servant, on his way to the kitchen. “Rody,” + said he, “isn't this a purty business? My father wantin' to send me down +to Owen Reillaghan's; when, by the vartue o' my oath, I'd as soon go +half way into hell, as to any place where his son, Mike Reillaghan, 'ud +be. How will I manage, Rody?” + +“Why,” replied Rody, “as to meetin' wid Mike, take my advice and avoid +him. And what is more I'd give up Peggy Gartland for good. Isn't it a +mane thing for you, Frank, to be hangin' afther a girl that's fonder +of another than she is of yourself. By this and by that, I'd no more do +it--avvouh! catch me at it--I'd have spunk in me.” + +Frank's brow darkened as Rody spoke; instead of instantly replying', he +was silent and appeared to be debating some point in his own mind, on +which he had not come to a determination. + +“My father didn't hear of the fight between Mike and me?” said he, +interrogatively--“do you think he did, Rody?” + +“Not to my knowledge,” replied the servant; “if he did, he wouldn't +surely send you down; but talking of the fight, you are known to be a +stout, well-fought boy--no doubt of that--still, I say, you had no right +to provoke Mike as you did, who, it's well known, could bate any two men +in the parish; and so sign, you got yourself dacently trounced, about a +girl that doesn't love a bone in your skin.” + +“He disgraced me, Rody,” observed Frank--“I can't rise my head; and +you know I was thought, by all the parish, as good a man as him. No, I +wouldn't, this blessed Christmas Eve above us, for all that ever my name +was worth, be disgraced by him as I am. But--hould, man--have patience!” + +“Throth and, Frank, that's what you never had,” said Eody; “and as to +bein' disgraced, you disgraced yourself. What right had you to challenge +the boy to fight, and to strike him into the bargain, bekase Peggy +Gartland danced with him, and wouldn't go out wid you? Death alive, sure +that wasn't his fault.” + +Every word of reproof which proceeded from Rody's lips but strengthened +Frank's rage, and added to his sense of shame; he looked first in the +direction of Reillaghan's house, and immediately towards the little +village in which Peggy Gartland lived. + +“Rody,” said he, slapping him fiercely on the shoulder, “go +in--I've--I've made up my mind upon what I'll do; go in, Eody, and get +your dinner; but don't be out of the way when I come back.” + +“And what have you made up your mind to?” inquired Eody. + +“Why, by the sacred Mother o' Heaven, Rody, to--to--be friends wid +Mike.” + +“Ay, there's sinse and rason in that,” replied Eody; “and if you'd take +my advice you'd give up Peggy Gartland, too.” + +“I'll see you when I come back, Eody; don't be from about the place.” + +And as he spoke, a single spring brought him over the stile at which +they held the foregoing conversation. + +On advancing, he found himself in one of his father's fields, under the +shelter of an elder-hedge. Here he paused, and seemed still somewhat +uncertain as to the direction in which he should proceed. At length he +decided; the way towards Peggy Gartland's was that which he took, and +as he walked rapidly, he soon found himself at the village in which she +lived. + +It was now a little after twilight; the night was clear the moon being +in her first quarter, and the clouds through which she appeared to +struggle, were light and fleecy, but rather cold-looking, such, in +short, as would seem to promise a sudden fall of snow. Frank had passed +the two first cabins of the village, and was in the act of parrying the +attacks of some yelping cur that assailed him, when he received a slap +on the back, accompanied by a _gho manhi Dhea gliud, a Franchas, co wul +thu guilh a nish, a rogora duh_?* + + * God save you, Frank! where are you going now, you + black rogue? + +“Who's this?” exclaimed Frank: “eh! why, Darby More, you sullin' thief +o' the world, is this you?” + +“Ay, indeed; an' you're goin' down to Peggy's?” said the the other, +pointing significantly towards Peggy Gartland's house. “Well, man, +what's the harm? She may get worse, that is, hopin' still that you'll +mend your manners, a bouchal: but isn't your nose out o' joint there, +Frank, darlin'?” + +“No sich thing at all, Darby,” replied Frank, gulping down his +indignation, which rose afresh on hearing that the terms on which he +stood with Peggy were so notorious. + +“Throth but it is,” said Darby, “an' to tell the blessed thruth, I'm not +sarry that it's out o' joint; for when I tould you to lave the case in +my hands, along wid a small thrifle o' silver that didn't signify much +to you--whoo! not at all: you'd rather play it at cards, or dhrink it, +or spind it wid no good. Out o' joint! nrasha, if ever a man's nose was +to be pitied, and yours is: why, didn't Mike Reillaghan put it out o' +joint, twist? first in regard to Peggy, and secondly by the batin' he +gave you an it.” + +“It's well known, Darby,” replied Frank, “that 'twas by a chance blow he +did it; and, you know, a chance blow might kill the devil.” + +“But there was no danger of Mike's gettin' the chance blow,” observed +the sarcastic vagrant, for such he was. + +“Maybe it's afore him,” replied his companion: “we'll have another +thrial for it, any how; but where are you goin', Darby? Is it to the +dance?” + +Me! Is it a man “wid two holy ordhers an him?* No, no! I might go up, +may be, as far as your father's, merely to see the family, only for the +night that's in it; but I'm goin' to another frind's place to spind my +Chris'mas, an' over an' above, I must go to the Midnight Mass. Frank, +change your coorses, an' mend your life, an' don't be the talk o' the +parish. Remimber me to the family, an' say I'll see them soon.” + + * The religious orders, as they are termed, most + commonly entered into by the peasantry, are those of + the Scapular and St. Francis. The order of Jesus--or + that of the Jesuits, is only entered into by the clergy + and the higher lay classes. + +“How long will you stop in the neighborhood?” inquired Frank. + +“Arrah why, acushla?” replied the mendicant, softening his language. + +“I might be wantin to see you some o' these days,” said the other: +“indeed, it's not unlikely, Darby; so don't go, any how, widout seein' +me.” + +“Ah!” said Darby, “had you taken a fool's advice--but it can't be helped +now--the harm's done, I doubt; how-an'-ever, for the matther o' that, +may be I have as good as Peggy in my eye for you; by the same token, as +the night's could, warm your tooth, avick; there's waker wather nor +this in Lough Mecall. Sorra sup of it over I keep for my own use at all, +barrin' when I take a touch o' configuration in my bowels, or, may +be, when I'm too long at my prayers; for, God help me, sure I'm but +sthrivin', wid the help o' one thing an' another, to work out my +salvation as well as I can! Your health, any how, an' a merry Chris'mas +to you!--not forgettin' myself,” he added, putting to his lips a large +cow's horn, which he kept slung beneath his arm, like the bugle of a +coach-guard, only that this was generally concealed by an outside coat, +no two inches of which were of the same materials of color. Having taken +a tolerably large draught from this, which, by the “way, held near two +quarts, he handed it with a smack and a shrug to Frank, who immediately +gave it a wipe with the skirt of his coat, and pledged his companion. + +“I'll be wantin',” observed Frank, “to see you in the hollydays--faith, +that stuff's to be christened yet, Darby--so don't go till we have a +dish o' discoorse about somethin' I'll mintion to you. As for Peggy +Gartland, I'm done wid her; she may marry ould Nick for me.” + +“Or you for ould Nick,” said the cynic, “which would be nearly the +same thing: but go an, avick, an' never heed me; sure I must have my +spake--doesn't every body know Darby More?” + +“I've nothin' else to say now,” added Frank, “and you have my authority +to spread it as far as you plase. I'm done wid her: so good-night, an' +good _cuttin'_ (* May what's in it never fail) to your horn, Darby!--You +damn ould villian!” he subjoined in a low voice, when Darby had got out +of his hearing: “surely it's not in yourself, but in the blessed words +and things you have about you, that there is any good.” + +“Musha, good-night, Frank alanna,” replied the other;--“an' the divil +sweep you, for a skamin' vagabone, that's a curse to the country, and +has kep me out o' more weddins than any one I ever met wid, by your +roguery in puttin' evil between frinds an' neighbors, jist whin they'd +be ready for the priest to say the words over them! Good won't come of +you, you profligate.” + +The last words were scarcely uttered by the sturdy mendicant, when +he turned round to observe whether or not Frank would stop at +Larry Gartland's, the father of the girl to whom he had hitherto +unsuccessfully avowed his attachment. + +“I'd depind an him,” said he, in a soliloquy, “as soon as I'd depind +upon ice of an hour's growth: an', whether or not, sure as I'm an my way +to Owen Reillaghan's, the father of the dacent boy that he's strivin' to +outdo, mayn't I as well watch his motions, any way?” + +He accordingly proceeded along the shadowy side of the street, in order +to avoid Frank's eye, should he chance to look back, and quietly dodged +on until he fairly saw him enter the house. + +Having satisfied himself that the object of Frank's visit to the +village was in some shape connected with Peggy Gartland, the mendicant +immediately retraced his steps, and at a pace more rapid than usual, +strided on to Owen Reillaghan's, whither he arrived just in time to +secure an excellent Christmas-eve dinner. + +In Ireland, that description of mendicants which differ so strikingly +from the common crowd of beggars as to constitute a distinct species, +comprehends within itself as anomalous an admixture of fun and devotion, +external rigor and private licentiousness, love of superstition and of +good whiskey, as might naturally be supposed, without any great sketch +of credulity, to belong to men thrown among a people in whom so many +extremes of character and morals meet. The known beggar, who goes his +own rounds, and has his own walk, always adapts his character to that of +his benefactor, whose whims and peculiarities of temper he studies +with industry, and generally with success. By this means, joined to +a dexterity in tracing out the private history of families and +individuals, he is enabled to humor the capprices, to manage the +eccentricities, and to touch with a masterly hand the prejudices, and +particular opinions, of his patrons; and this he contrives to do with +great address and tact. Such was the character of Darby More, whose +person, naturally large, was increased to an enormous size by the number +of coats, blankets, and bags, with which he was encumbered. A large +belt, buckled round his body, contained within its girth much more of +money, meal, and whiskey, than ever met the eye; his hat was exceedingly +low in the crown; his legs were cast in at least three pairs of +stockings; and in his hand he carried a long cant, spiked at the lower +end, with which he slung himself over small rivers and dykes, and kept +dogs at bay. He was a devotee, too, notwithstanding the whiskey horn +under his arm; attended wakes, christenings, and weddings: rubbed for +the rose (* a scrofulous swelling) and king's evil, (for the varlet +insisted that he was a seventh son); cured toothaches, colics, and +headaches, by charms; but made most money by a knack which he possessed +of tatooing into the naked breast the representation of Christ upon +the cross. This was a secret of considerable value, for many of the +superstitious people believed that by having this stained in upon them, +they would escape unnatural deaths, and be almost sure of heaven. + +When Darby approached Reillaghan's house, he was considering the +propriety of disclosing to his son the fact of having left his rival +with Peggy Gartland. He ultimately determined that it would be proper +to do so; for he was shrewd enough to suspect that the wish Frank had +expressed of seeing him before he left the country, was but a ruse to +purchase his silence touching his appearance in the village. In this, +however, he was mistaken. + +“God save the house!” exclaimed Darby, on entering--“God save the house, +an' all that's in it! God save it to the North!” and he formed the sign +of the cross in every direction to which he turned: “God save it to the +South! + to the Aiste! + and to the Waiste! + Save it upwards! + and +save it downwards! + Save it backwards! + and save it forwards! + Save +it right! + and save it left! + Save it by night! + save it by day! + +Save it here! + save it there! + Save it this way! + an' save it that +way! + Save it atin'! + + + an' save it drinkin'! + + + + + + + + _Oxis +Doxis Glorioxis_--Amin. An' now that I've blessed the place in the name +of the nine Patriarchs, how are yez all, man, woman, an' child? An' a +merry Christmas to yez, says Darby More!” + +Darby, in the usual spirit of Irish hospitality, received a sincere +welcome, was placed up near the fire, a plate filled with the best food +on the table laid before him, and requested to want nothing for the +asking. + +“Why, Darby,” said Reillaghan, “we expected you long ago: why didn't you +come sooner?” + +“The Lord's will be done! for ev'ry man has his throubles,” replied +Darby, stuffing himself in the corner like an Epicure; “an' why should +a sinner like me, or the likes of me, be without thim? 'Twas a dhrame +I had last night that kep me. They say, indeed, that dhrames go by +contriaries, but not always, to my own knowledge.” + +“An' what was the dhrame about, Darby?” inquired Reillaghan's wife. + +“Why, ma'am, about some that I see on this hearth, well, an' in good +health; may they long live to be so! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin!” + + + + +“Blessed Virgin! Darby, sure it would be nothin' bad that's to happen? +Would it, Darby?” + +“Keep yourself aisy on that head. I have widin my own mind the power of +makin' it come out for good--I know the prayer for it. Oxis Doxis!” + + + +“God be praised for that, Darby; sure it would be a terrible business, +all out, if any thing was to happen. Here's Mike that was born on +Whissle * Monday, of all days in the year, an' you know, they say that +any child born on that day is to die an unnatural death. We named Mike +after St. Michael that he might purtect him.” + + * The people believe the superstition to be as is + stated above. Any child born on Whitsunday, or the day + after, is supposed to be doomed to die an unnatural + death. The consequence is, that the child is named + after and dedicated to some particular saint, in the + hope that his influence may obviate his evil doom. + +“Make yourself aisy, I say; don't I tell you I have the prayer to keep +it back--hach! hach!--why, there's a bit stuck in my throath, some +way! Wurrah dheelish, what's this! Maybe, you could give me a sup o' +dhrink--wather, or anything to moisten the morsel I'm atin? Wurrah, +ma'am dear, make haste, it's goin' agin' the breath wid me!” + +“Oh, the sorra taste o' wather, Darby,” said Owen; “sure this is +Christmas-eve, you know: so you see, Darby, for ould acquaintance sake, +an' that you may put up an odd prayer now an' thin for us, jist be +thryin' this.” + +Darby honored the gift by immediate acceptance. + +“Well, Owen Reillaghan,” said he, “you make me take more o' this stuff +nor any man I know; and particularly by rason that bein' given, wid a +blessin', to the ranns, an' prayers, an' holy charms, I don't think it +so good; barrin', indeed, as Father Donnellan towld me, when the wind, +by long fastin', gets into my stomach, as was the case today, I'm often +throubled, God help me, wid a configuration in the--hugh! ugh--an' thin +it's good for me--a little of it.” + +“This would make a brave powdher-horn, Darby Moore,” observed one +of Reilla-ghan's sons, “if it wasn't so big. What do you keep in it, +Darby?” + +“Why, _avillish_, (* my sweet) nothin' indeed but a sup o' Father +Donnellan's holy water, that they say by all accounts it costs him great +trouble to make, by rason that he must fast a long time, and pray by the +day, afore he gets himself holy enough to consecrate it.” + +“It smells like whiskey, Darby,” said the boy, without any intention, +however, of offending him. “It smells very like poteen.” + +“Hould yer tongue, Risthard,” said the elder Reillaghan; “what 'ud make +the honest man have whiskey in it? Didn't he tell you what's in it?” + +“The gorsoon's right enough,” replied Darby. “I got the horn from Barny +Dalton a couple o' days agone; 'twas whiskey he had in it, an' it smells +of it sure enough, an' will, indeed, for some time longer. Och! och! the +heavens be praised, I've made a good dinner! May they never know want +that gave it to me! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin!” + + + + +“Darby, thry this again,” said Reillaghan, offering him another bumper. + +“Troth an' I will, thin, for I find myself a great dale the betther of +the one I tuck. Well, here's health an' happiness to us, an' may we all +meet in heaven! Risthard, hand me that horn till I be goin' out to the +barn, in ordher to do somethin' for my sowl. The holy wather's a good +thing to have about one.” + +“But the dhrame, Darby?” inquired Mrs. Reillaghan. “Won't you tell it to +us?” + +“Let Mike follow me to the barn,” he replied, “an' I'll tell him as +much of it as he ought to hear. An' now let all of yez prepare for the +Midnight Mass; go there wid proper intuitions, an' not to be coortin' +or dhrinkin' by the way. We're all sinners, any way, an' oughtn't to +neglect our sowls. Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!” + +He immediately strided with the horn under his arm, towards the barn, +where he knelt, and began his orisons in a tone sufficiently loud to be +heard in the kitchen. When he was gone, Mrs. Reillaghan, who, with +the curiosity natural to her sex, and the superstition peculiar to +her station in life, felt anxious to hear Darby's dream, urged Mike to +follow him forthwith, that he might prevail on him to detail it at full +length. + +Darby, who knew not exactly what the dream ought to be, replied to +Mike's inquiries vaguely. + +“Mike,” said he, “until the proper time comes, I can't tell it; but +listen; take my advice, an' slip down to Peggy Gartland's by and by. I +have strong suspicions, if my dhrame is thrue, that Frank M'Kenna has a +design upon her. People may be abroad this night widout bein' noticed, +by rason o' the Midnight Mass; Frank has, friends in Kilnaheery, down +behind the moors; an' the divil might tempt him to bring her there. Keep +your eye an him, or rather an Peggy. If my dhrame's true, he was there +this night.” + +“I thought I gave him enough on her account,” said. Mike. “The poor girl +hasn't a day's pace in regard of him; but, plase goodness, I'll soon put +an end to it, for I'll marry her durin' the Hollydays.” + +“Go, avick, an' let me finish my Pudheran Partha: I have to get through +it before the Midnight Mass comes. Slip down, and find out what he was +doin'; and when you come back, let me know.” + +Mike, perfectly aware of young M'Kenna's character, immediately went +towards Lisrum, for so the village where Peggy Gartland lived was +called. He felt the danger to be apprehended from the interference of +his rival the more acutely, inasmuch as he was not ignorant of the feuds +and quarrels which the former had frequently produced between friends +and neighbors, by the subtle poison of his falsehoods, which were both +wanton and malicious. He therefore advanced at an unusually brisk pace, +and had nearly reached the village, when he perceived in the distance a +person resembling Frank approaching him at a pace nearly as rapid as his +own. + +“If it's Frank M'Kenna,” thought he, “he must pass me, for this is his +straight line home.” + +It appeared, however, that he had been mistaken; for he whom he +had supposed to be the object of his enmity, crossed the field by a +different path, and seemed to be utterly ignorant of the person whom +he was about to meet--so far, at least, as a quick, free, unembarrassed +step could intimate his unacquaintance with him. + +The fact, however, was, that Reillaghan, had the person whom he met +approached him more nearly, would have found his first suspicions +correct. Frank was then on his return from Gartland's, and no sooner +perceived Reillaghan, whom he immediately recognized by his great +height, than he took another path in order to avoid him. The enmity +between these rivals was, deep and implacable; aggravated on the one +hand by a sense of unmerited injury, and on the other by personal defeat +and the bitterest jealousy. For this reason neither of them wished to +meet, particularly Frank M'Kenna, who not only hated, but feared his +enemy. + +Having succeeded in avoiding Reillaghan, the latter soon reached home; +but here he found the door closed, and the family, without a single +exception, in the barn, which was now nearly crowded with the youngsters +of both sexes from the surrounding villages. + +Frank's arrival among them gave a fresh impulse to their mirth and +enjoyment. His manners were highly agreeable, and his spirits buoyant +almost to levity. Notwithstanding the badness of his character in the +opinion of the sober, steady, and respectable inhabitants of the parish, +yet he was a favorite with the desolate and thoughtless, and with many +who had not an opportunity of seeing him except in his most favorable +aspect. Whether he entertained on this occasion any latent design +that might have induced him to assume a frankness of manner, and an +appearance of good-humor, which he did not feel, it is difficult to +determine. Be this as it may, he made himself generally agreeable, +saw that every one was comfortable, suggested an improvement in the +arrangement of the seats, broke several jests on Bariry and Granua +Waile--which, however, were returned with interest--and, in fact, +acquitted himself so creditably, that his father whispered with a sigh +to his mother--“Alley, achora, wouldn't we be the happy family if that +misfortunate boy of ours was to be always the thing he appears to be? +God help him! the gommach, if he had sinse, and the fear o' God before +him, he'd not be sich a pace o' desate to sthrangers, and such a divil's +limb wid ourselves: but he's young, an' may see his evil coorses in +time, wid the help o' God.” + +“Musha, may God grant it!” exclaimed his mother: “a fine slip he is, if +his heart 'ud only turn to the right thoughts. One can't help feelin' +pride out o' him, when they see him actin' wid any kind o' rason.” + +The Irish dance, like every other assembly composed of Irishmen and +Irishwomen, presents the spectators with those traits which enter into +our conception of rollicking fun and broad humor. The very arrangements +are laughable; and when joined to the eccentric strains of some blind +fiddler like Barny Dhal, to the grotesque and caricaturish faces of the +men, and the modest, but evidently arch and laughter-loving countenances +of the females, they cannot fail to impress an observing mind with +the obvious truth, that a nation of people so thoughtless and easily +directed from the serious and useful pursuits of life to such scenes, +can seldom be industrious and wealthy, nor, despite their mirth and +humor, a happy people. + +The barn in which they danced on this occasion was a large one. +Around the walls were placed as many seats as could be spared from +the neighbors' houses; these were eked out by sacks of corn laid +length-wise, logs of round timber, old creels, iron pots with their +bottoms turned up, and some of them in their usual position. On these +were the youngsters seated, many of the “boys” with their sweethearts on +their knees, the arms of the fair ones lovingly around their necks; and, +on the contrary many of the young women with their bachelors on their +laps, their own necks also gallantly encircled by the arms of their +admirers. Up in a corner sat Barny, surrounded by the seniors of the +village, sawing the fiddle with indefatigable vigor, and leading the +conversation with equal spirit. Indeed, his laugh was the loudest, and +his joke the best; whilst, ever and anon, his music became perfectly +furious--that is to say, when he rasped the fiddle with a desperate +effort “to overtake the dancers,” from whom, in the heat of the +conversation, he had unwittingly lagged behind. + +Dancing in Ireland, like everything else connected with the amusement of +the people, is frequently productive of bloodshed. It is not unusual for +crack dancers from opposite parishes, or from distant parts of the same +parish, to meet and dance against each other for victory. But as the +judges in those cases consist of the respective friends or factions of +the champions, their mode of decision may readily be conjectured. Many +a battle is fought in consequence of such challenges, the result usually +being that not he who has the lightest heel, but the hardest head, +generally comes off the conqueror. + +While the usual variety of Irish dances--the reel, jig, fling, +three-part-reel, four-part-reel, rowly-powly, country-dance, cotillion, +or cut-along (as the peasantry call it), and minuet, vulgarly minion, +and minionet--were going forward in due rotation, our readers may be +assured that those who were seated around the walls did not permit the +time to pass without improving it. Many an attachment is formed at +such amusements, and many a bitter jealousy is excited: the prude and +coquette, the fop and rustic Lothario, stand out here as prominently +to the eye of him who is acquainted with human nature, as they do in +similar assemblies among the great: perhaps more so, as there is less +art, and a more limited knowledge of intrigue, to conceal their natural +character. + +The dance in Ireland usually commences with those who sit next the door, +from whence it goes round with the sun. In this manner it circulates two +or three times, after which the order is generally departed from, and +they dance according as they can. This neglect of the established rule +is also a fertile source of discord; for when two persons rise at the +same time, if there be not room for both, the right of dancing first is +often decided by blows. + +At the dance we are describing, however, there was no dissension; every +heart appeared to be not only elated with mirth, but also free from +resentment and jealousy. The din produced by the thumping of vigorous +feet upon the floor, the noise of the fiddle, the chat between Barny and +the little sober knot about him, together with the brisk murmur of the +general conversation, and the expression of delight which sat on every +countenance, had something in them elevating to the spirits. + +Barny, who knew their voices, and even the mode of dancing peculiar to +almost every one in the barn, had some joke for each. When a young +man brings out his sweetheart--which he frequently does in a manner +irresistibly ludicrous, sometimes giving a spring from the earth, his +caubeen set with a knowing air on one side of his head, advancing at +a trot on tiptoe, catching her by the ear, leading her out to her +position, which is “to face the fiddler,” then ending by a snap of the +fingers, and another spring, in which he brings his heel backwards +in contact with his ham;--we say, when a young man brings out his +sweetheart, and places her facing the fiddler, he asks her what will +she dance; to which, if she as no favorite tune, she uniformly +replies--“Your will is my pleasure.” This usually made Barny groan +aloud. + +“What ails you, Barny?” + +“Oh, thin, murdher alive, how little thruth's in this world! Your will's +my pleassure! _Baithirshin!_ but, sowl, if things goes an, it won't be +long so!” + +“Why, Barny,” the young man would exclaim, “is the ravin' fit comin' +over you?” + +“No, in troth, Jim; _but it's thinkin' of home I am_. Howandiver, do you +go an; but, _naboklish!_ what'll ye have?” + +“'Jig Polthouge,' Barny: but on your wrist ma bouchal, or Katty will +lave us both ut o' sight in no time. Whoo! success! clear the coorse. +Well done, Barny! That's the go.” + +When the youngsters had danced for some time, the fathers and mothers of +the village were called upon “to step out.” This was generally the most +amusing scene in the dance. No excuse is ever taken on such occasions, +for when they refuse, about a dozen young fellows place them, will they +will they, upright upon the floor, from whence neither themselves nor +their wives are permitted to move until they dance. No sooner do they +commence, than, they are mischievously pitted against each other by two +sham parties, one encouraging the wife, the other cheering on the good +man; whilst the fiddler, falling in with the frolic, plays in his most +furious style. The simplicity of character, and, perhaps, the lurking +vanity of those who are the butts of the mirth on this occasion, +frequently heighten the jest. + +“Why, thin, Paddy, is it strivin' to outdo me you are? Faiks, avourneen, +you never seen that day, any way,” the old woman would exclaim, exerting +all her vigor. + +“Didn't I? Sowl, I'll sober you before I lave the flure, for all that,” + her husband would reply. + +“An' do you forget,” she would rejoin, “that the M'Carthy dhrop is in +me; ay, an' it's to the good still.” + +And the old dame would accompany the boast with a fresh attempt at +agility; to which Paddy would respond by “cutting the buckle,” and +snapping his fingers, whilst fifty voices, amidst roars of laughter, +were loud in encouraging each. + +“Handle your feet, Kitty, darlin'--the mettle's lavin' him!” + +“Off wid the brogues, Paddy, or she'll do you. That's it; kick off the +other, an' don't spare the flure.” + +“A thousand guineas on Katty! M'Carthy agin Gallagher for +ever!--whirroo!” + +“Blur alive the flure's not benefittin by you, Paddy. Lay on it, +man!--That's it!--Bravo!--Whish!--Our side agin Europe!” + +“Success, Paddy! Why you could dance the Dusty Miller upon a flure paved +wid drawn razures, you're so soople.” + +“Katty for ever! The blood's in you, Katty; you'll win the day, a _ban +choir!_ (* decent woman). More power to you!” + +“I'll hould a quart on Paddy. Heel an' toe, Paddy, you sinner!” + +“Right an' left, Katty; hould an', his breath's goin'.” + +“Right an' wrong, Paddy, you spalpeen. The whiskey's an you, man alive: +do it decently, an' don't let me lose the wager.” + +In this manner would they incite some old man, and, perhaps, his older +wife, to prolonged exertion, and keep them bobbing and jigging about, +amidst roars of laughter, until the worthy couple could dance no longer. + +During stated periods of the night, those who took the most prominent +part in the dance, got a plate and hat, with which they went round the +youngsters, to make collections for the fiddler. Barny reserved his best +and most sarcastic jokes for these occasions; for so correct was +his ear, that he felt little difficulty in detecting those whose +contributions to him were such as he did not relish. + +The aptitude of the Irish for enjoying humorous images was well +displayed by one or two circumstances which occurred on this night. A +few of both sexes, who had come rather late, could get no other seats +than the metal pots to which we have alluded. The young women were +dressed in white, and their companions, who were also their admirers, +exhibited, in proud display, each a bran-new suit, consisting of +broadcloth coat, yellow-buff vest, and corduroy small-clothes, with a +bunch of broad silk ribbons standing out at each knee. They were the +sons and daughters of respectable farmers, but as all distinctions here +entirely ceased, they were fain to rest contented with such seats as +they could get, which on this occasion consisted of the pots aforesaid. +No sooner, however, had they risen to dance than the house was convulsed +with laughter, heightened by the sturdy vigor with which, unconscious of +their appearance, they continued to dance. That part of the white female +dresses which had come in contact with the pots, exhibited a circle +like the full moon, and was black as pitch. Nor were their partners +more lucky: those who sat on the mouths of the pots had the back part +of their dresses streaked with dark circles, equally ludicrous. The mad +mirth with which they danced, in spite of their grotesque appearance, +was irresistible. This, and other incidents quite as pleasant--such as +the case of a wag who purposely sank himself into one of the pots, until +it stuck to him through half the dance--increased the laughter, and +disposed them to peace and cordiality. + +No man took a more active part in these frolics than young Frank +M'Kenna. It is true, a keen eye might have noticed under his gayety +something of a moody and dissatisfied air. As he moved about from time +to time, he whispered something to above a dozen persons, who were well +known in the country as his intimate companions, young fellows whose +disposition and character were notoriously bad. When he communicated +the whisper, a nod of assent was given by his confidants, after which it +might be remarked that they moved round to the door with a caution that +betrayed a fear of observation, and quietly slunk out of the barn one +by one, though Frank himself did not immediately follow them. In about +a quarter of an hour afterwards, Rody came in, gave him a signal and sat +down. Frank then followed his companions, and after a few minutes +Rody also disappeared. This was about ten o'clock, and the dance was +proceeding with great gayety and animation. + +Frank's dread of openly offending his parents prevented him from +assembling his associates in the dwelling-house; the only convenient +place of rendezvous, therefore, of which they could avail themselves, +was the stable. Here they met, and Frank, after uncorking a bottle of +poteen, addressed them to the following effect: + +“Boys, there's great excuse for me, in regard of my fight wid Mike +Reillaghan; that you'll all allow. Come, boys, your healths! I can tell +yez you'll find this good, the divil a doubt of it; be the same token, +that I stole it from my father's Christmas dhrink; but no matther for +that--I hope we'll never do worse. So, as I was sayin', you must bear me +out as well as you can, when I'm brought before the Dilegates to-morrow, +for challengin' and strikin' a brother.* But, I think, you'll stand by +me, boys?” + + * Those connected with illegal combinations are sworn + to have no private or personal quarrels, nor to strike + nor provoke each other to fight. He and Mike were + members of such societies. + +“By the tarn-o'-war, Frank, myself will fight to the knees for you.” + +“Faith, you may depend on us, Frank, or we're not to the fore.” + +“I know it, boys; and now for a piece of fun for this night. You +see--come, Lanty, tare-an'-ounkers, drink, man alive--you see, wid +regard to Peggy Gartland--eh? what the hell! is that a cough?” + +“One o' the horses, man--go an.” + +“Rody, did Darby More go into the barn before you came out of it?” + +“Darby More? not he. If he did, I'd a seen him surely.” + +“Why, thin, I'd kiss the book I seen him goin' towards the barn, as I +was comin' into the stable. Sowl, he's a made boy, that; an' if I don't +mistake, he's in Mike Reillaghan's intherest. You know divil a secret +can escape him.” + +“Hut! the prayin' ould crathur was on his way to the Midnight Mass; he +thravels slow, and, of coorse, has to set out early; besides, you know, +he has Carols, and bades, and the likes, to sell at the chapel.” + +“Thrue, for you, Rody; why, I thought he might take it into his head +to watch my motions, in regard that, as I said, I think him in Mike's +intherest.” + +“Nonsense, man, what the dickens 'ud bring him into the stable loft? +Why, you're beside yourself?” + +“Be Gor, I bleeve so, but no matther. Boys, I want yez to stand to me +to-night: I'm given to know for a sartinty that Mike and Peggy will be +buckled to durin' the Hollydays. Now, I wish to get the girl myself; for +if I don't get her, may I be ground to atoms if he will.” + +“Well, but how will you manage? for she's fond of him.” + +“Why, I'll tell you that. I was over there this evenin', and I +understand that all the family is goin' to the Midnight Mass, barrin' +herself. You see, while they are all gone to the 'mallet-office,' * we'll +slip down wid a thrifle o' soot on our mugs, and walk down wid her to +Kilnaheery, beyant the mountains, to an uncle o' mine; an' affcher that, +let any man marry her who chooses to run the risk. Be the contints o' +the book, Atty, if you don't dhrink I'll knock your head agin the wall, +you gommoch!” + + * Mass, humorously so called, from the fact of those + who attend it beating their breasts during their + devotions. + +“Why, thin, by all that's beautiful, it's a good spree; and we'll stick +to you like pitch.” + +“Be the vartue o' my oath, you don't desarve to be in it, or you'd +dhrink dacent. Why, here's another bottle, an' maybe there's more where +that was. Well, let us finish what we have, or be the five crasses, I'll +give up the whole business.” + +“Why, thin, here's success to us, any way; an' high hangin' to them that +'ud desart you in your skame this blessed an' holy night that's in it!” + +This was re-echoed by his friends, who pledged themselves by the most +solemn oaths not to abandon him in the perpetration of the outrage which +they had concerted. The other bottle was immediately opened, and while +it lasted, the details of the plan were explained at full length. This +over, they entered the barn one by one as before, except Frank and Rody, +who as they were determined to steal another bottle from the father's +stock, did not appear among the dancers until this was accomplished. + +The re-appearance of these rollicking and reckless young fellows in +the dance, was hailed by all present; for their outrageous mirth was in +character with the genius of the place. The dance went on with spirit; +brag dancers were called upon to exhibit in hornpipes; and for this +purpose a table was bought in from Frank's kitchen on which they +performed in succession, each dancer applauded by his respective party +as the best in the barn. + +In the meantime the night had advanced; the hour might be about +half-past ten o'clock; all were in the zenith of enjoyment, when old +Frank M'Kenna addressed them as follows:-- + +“Neighbors, the dickens o' one o' me would like to break up the +sport--an', in throth, harmless and dacent sport it is; but you all +know that this is Christmas night, and that it's our duty to attind the +Midnight Mass. Anybody that likes to hear it may go, for it's near time +to be home and prepare for it; but the sorra one o' me wants to take any +of yez from your sport, if you prefer it; all I say is, that I must lave +yez; so God be wid yez till we meet agin!” + +This short speech produced a general bustle in the barn; many of the +elderly neighbors left it, and several of the young persons also. It was +Christmas Eve, and the Midnight Mass had from time immemorial so strong +a hold upon their prejudices and affections, that the temptation must +indeed have been great which would have prevented them from attending +it. When old Frank went out, about one-third of those who were +present left the dance along with them; and as the hour for mass was +approaching, they lost no time in preparing for it. + +The Midnight Mass is, no doubt, a phrase familiar to our Irish readers; +but we doubt whether those in the sister kingdoms, who may honor our +book with a perusal, would, without a more particular description, +clearly understand it. + +This ceremony-was performed as a commemoration not only of the night, +but of the hour in which Christ was born. To connect it either with +edification, or the abuse of religion, would be invidious; so we +overlook that, and describe it as it existed within our own memory, +remarking, by the way, that though now generally discontinued, it is in +some parts of Ireland still observed, or has been till within in a few +years ago. + +The parish in which the scene of this story is laid was large, +consequently the attendance of the people was proportionably great. +On Christmas day a Roman Catholic priest has, or is said to have, the +privilege of saying three masses, though on every other day in the year +he can celebrate but two. Each priest, then, said one at midnight, and +two on the following day. + +Accordingly, about twenty or thirty years ago, the performance of the +Midnight Mass was looked upon as an ordinance highly important and +interesting. The preparations for it were general and fervent; so much +so, that not a Roman Catholic family slept till they heard it. It is +true it only occurred once a year; but had any person who saw it once, +been called upon to describe it, he would say that religion could +scarcely present a scene so wild and striking. + +The night in question was very dark, for the moon had long disappeared, +and as the inhabitants of the whole parish were to meet in one spot, it +may be supposed that the difficulty was very great, of traversing, in +the darkness of midnight, the space between their respective residences, +and the place appointed by the priest for the celebration of mass. The +difficulty, they contrived to surmount. From about eleven at night +till twelve or one o'clock, the parish presented a scene singularly +picturesque, and, to a person unacquainted with its causes, altogether +mysterious. Over the surface of the surrounding country were scattered +myriads of blazing torches, all converging to one point; whilst at a +distance, in the central part of the parish, which lay in a valley, +might be seen a broad focus of red light, quite stationary, with which +one or more of the torches that moved across the fields mingled every +moment. These torches were of bog-fir, dried and split for the occasion; +all persons were accordingly furnished with them, and by their blaze +contrived to make way across the country with comparative ease. This +Mass having been especially associated with festivity and enjoyment, was +always attended by such excessive numbers, that the ceremony was in +most parishes celebrated in the open air, if the weather were at all +favorable. Altogether, as we have said, the appearance of the country +at this dead hour of the night, was wild and impressive. Being Christmas +every heart was up, and every pocket replenished with money, if it could +at all be procured. This general elevation of spirits was nowhere more +remarkable than in contemplating the thousands of both sexes, old, +young, each furnished, as before said, with a blazing flambeau of +bog-fir, all streaming down the mountain sides, along the roads, or +across the fields, and settling at last into one broad sheet of fire. +Many a loud laugh might then be heard ringing the night echo into +reverberation; mirthful was the gabble in hard guttural Irish; and now +and then a song from some one whose potations had been, rather copious, +would rise on the night-breeze, to which a chorus was subjoined by a +dozen voices from the neighboring groups. + +On passing the shebeen and public-houses, I the din of mingled voices +that issued from them was highly amusing, made up, as it was, of songs, +loud talk, rioting and laughter, with an occasional sound of weeping +from some one who had become penitent in big drink. In the larger +public-houses--for in Ireland there usually are one or two of these in +the immediate vicinity of each chapel, family parties were assembled, +who set in to carouse both before and after mass. Those however, who had +any love affair on hands generally selected the shebeen house, as being +private, and less calculated to expose them to general observation. As +a matter of course, these jovial orgies frequently produced such +disastrous consequences, both to human life and female reputation, +that the intrigues between the sexes, the quarrels, and violent deaths +resulting from them, ultimately occasioned the discontinuance of a +ceremony which was only productive of evil. To this day, it is an +opinion among the peasantry in many parts of Ireland, that there is +something unfortunate connected with all drinking bouts held upon +Christmas Eve. Such a prejudice naturally arises from a recollection +of the calamities which so frequently befell many individuals while +Midnight Masses were in the habit of being generally celebrated, +although it is not attributed to their existence. + +None of Frank M'Kenna's family attended mass but himself and his wife. +His children having been bound by all the rules of courtesy to do the +honors of the dance, could not absent themselves from it; nor, indeed, +were they disposed to do so. Frank, however, and his “good woman,” + carried their torches, and joined the crowds which flocked to this scene +of fun and devotion. + +When they had arrived at the cross-roads beside which the chapel was +situated, the first object that presented itself so prominently as to +attract observation was Darby More, dressed out in all his paraphernalia +of blanket and horn, in addition to which he held in his hand an immense +torch, formed into the figure of a cross. He was seated upon a stone, +surrounded by a ring of old men and women, to whom he sang and sold a +variety of Christmas Carols, many of them rare curiosities in their way, +inasmuch as they were his own composition. A littlee beyond them stood +Mike Keillaghan and Peggy Gartland, towards both of whom he cast from +time to time a glance of latent humor and triumph. He did not simply +confine himself to singing his carols, but, during the pauses of the +melody, addressed the wondering and attentive crowd as follows:-- + +“Good Christians--This is the day--howandiver, it's night now, Glory +be to God--that the angel Lucifer appeared to Shud'orth, Meeshach, an' +To-bed-we-go, in the village of Constantinople, near Jerooslem. The +heavens be praised for it, 'twas a blessed an' holy night, an' remains +so from that day to this--Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin! Well, the sarra +one of him but appeared to thim at the hour o' midnight, but they were +asleep at the time, you see, and didn't persave him go--wid that he +pulled out a horn like mine--an', by the same token, it's lucky to wear +horns about one from that day to this--an' he put it to his lips, an' +tuck a good dacent--I mane, gave a good dacent blast that soon +roused them. 'Are yez asleep?' says he, when they awoke: 'why then, +bud-an'-age!' says he, 'isn't it a burnin' shame for able stout fellows +like yez to be asleep at the hour o' midnight of all hours o' the night. +Tare-an'-age!' says he, 'get up wid yez, you dirty spalpeens! There's +St. Pathrick in Jerooslem beyant; the Pope's signin' his mittimus +to Ireland, to bless it in regard that neither corn, nor barley, nor +phaties will grow on the land in consequence of a set of varmints +called Black-dugs that ates it up; an' there's not a glass o' whiskey +to be had in Ireland for love or money,' says Lucifer. 'Get up wid yez,' +says he, 'an' go in an' get his blessin'; sure there's not a Catholic-in +the counthry, barrin' Swaddlers, but's in the town by this,' says he: +'ay, an' many of the Protestants themselves, and the Black-mouths, an' +Blue-bellies, (* Different denominations of Dissenters) are gone in to +get a share of it. And now,' says he, 'bekase you wor so heavy-headed, +I ordher it from this out, that the present night is to be obsarved in +the Catholic church all over the world, an' must be kept holy; an' no +thrue Catholic ever will miss from this pariod an opportunity of +bein' awake at midnight,' says he, 'glory be to God!' An' now, good +Christians, you have an account o' the blessed Carol I was singin' for +yez. They're but hapuns a-piece; an' anybody that has the grace to keep +one o' these about them, will never meet wid sudden deaths or +accidents, sich as hangin', or drownin', or bein' taken suddenly wid +a configuration inwardly. I wanst knew a holy man that had a +dhrame--about a friend of his, it was----Will any of yez take one?-- + +“Thank you, a colleen: my blessin', the bless-in' o' the pilgrim, be an +you! God bless you, Mike Reillaghan; an' I'm proud that he put it into +your heart to buy one for the rasons you know. An' now that Father +Hoolaghan's comin', any of yez that 'ill want them 'ill find me here +agin when mass is over--Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin!” + +The priest at this time made his appearance, and those who had been +assembled on the cross-roads joined the crowd at the chapel. No sooner +was it bruited among them that their pastor had arrived, than the noise, +gabble, singing, and laughing were immediately hushed; the shebeen and +public-houses were left untenanted; and all flocked to the chapel-green, +where mass was to be said, as the crowd was too large to be contained +within the small chapel. + +Mike Reillaghan and Peggy Gartland were among the last who sought +the “green;” as lovers, they probably preferred walking apart, to the +inconvenience of being jostled by the multitude. As they sauntered on +slowly after the rest, Mike felt himself touched on the shoulder, and on +turning round, found Darby More beside him. + +“It's painful to my feelin's,” observed the mendicant, “to have to +say this blessed night that your father's son should act so shabby an' +ondacent.” + +“Saints above! how, Darby?” + +“Why, don't you know that only for me--for what I heard, an' what I +tould you--you'd not have the purty girl here at your elbow? Wasn't it, +as I said, his intintion to come and whip down the colleen to Kilnaheery +while the family 'ud be at mass; sure only for this, I say, you +bosthoon, an' that I made you bring her to mass, where 'ud the purty +colleen be? why half way to Kilnaheery, an' the girl disgraced for +ever!” + +“Thrue for you, Darby, I grant it: but what do you want me to do?” + +“Oh, for that matther, nothin' at all, Mike; only I suppose that when +your tailor made the clothes an you, he put no pockets to them?” + +“Oh, I see where you are, Darby! well, here's a crown for you; an' when +Peggy an' I's made man and wife, you'll get another.” + +“Mike, achora, I see you are your father's son still; now listen to me: +first you needn't fear sudden death while you keep that blessed Carol +about you; next get your friends together goin' home, for Frank might +jist take the liberty, wid about a score of his 'boys,' to lift her +from you even thin. Do the thing, I say--don't thrust him; an' moreover, +watch in her father's house tonight wid your friends. Thirdly, make it +up wid Frank; there's an oath upon you both, you persave? Make it up +wid him, if he axes you: don't have a broken oath upon you; for if you +refuse, he'll put you out o' connection, (* That is, out of connection +with Ribbonism) an' that 'ud plase him to the back-bone.” + +Mike felt the truth and shrewdness of this advice, and determined to +follow it. Both young men had been members of an illegal society, and +in yielding to their passions so far as to assault each other, had been +guilty of perjury. The following Christmas-day had been appointed by +their parish Delegates to take the quarrel into consideration; and the +best means of escaping censure was certainly to express regret for what +had occurred, and to terminate the hostility by an amicable adjustment +of their disputes. + +They had now reached the chapel-green, where the scene that presented +itself was so striking and strange, that we will give the reader an +imperfect sketch of its appearance. He who stood at midnight upon a +little mount which rose behind the chapel, might see between five and +six thousand torches, all blazing together, and forming a level mass of +red dusky light, burning against the dark horizon. These torches were +so close to each other that their light seemed to blend, as if they +had constituted one wide surface of flame; and nothing could be more +preternatural-looking than the striking and devotional countenances +of those who were assembled at their midnight worship, when observed +beneath this canopy of fire. The Mass was performed under the open sky, +upon a table covered with the sacrificial linen, and other apparatus for +the ceremony. The priest stood, robed in white, with two large torches +on each side of his book, reciting the prayers in a low, rapid voice, +his hands raised, whilst the congregation were hushed and bent forward +in the reverential silence of devotion, their faces touched by the +strong blaze of the torches into an expression of deep solemnity. The +scenery about the place was wild and striking; and the stars, scattered +thinly over the heavens, twinkled with a faint religious light, that +blended well with the solemnity of this extraordinary worship, and +rendered the rugged nature of the abrupt cliffs and precipices, together +with the still outline of the stern mountains, sufficiently visible to +add to the wildness and singularity of the ceremony. In fact, there was +an unearthly character about it; and the spectre-like appearance of the +white-robed priest as he + + “Muttered his prayer to the midnight air,” + +would almost impress a man with the belief that it was a meeting of the +dead, and that the priest was repeating, like the Gray Friar, his + + “Mass of the days that were gone.” + +On the ceremony being concluded, the scene, however, was instantly +changed: the lights were waved and scattered promiscuously among +each other, giving an idea of confusion and hurry that was strongly +contrasted with the death-like stillness that prevailed a few minutes +before. The gabble and laugh were again heard loud and hearty, and the +public and shebeen houses once more became crowded. Many of the young I +people made, on these occasions, what is I called “a runaway;” (* Rustic +elopement) and other peccadilloes took place, for which the delinquents +were “either read out from the altar,” or sent; probably to St. +Patrick's Purgatory at Lough Derg, to do penance. Those who did not +choose to stop in the whiskey-houses now hurried home with all speed, +to take some sleep before early Mass, which was to be performed the next +morning about daybreak. The same number of lights might therefore +be seen streaming in different ways over the parish; the married men +holding the torches, and leading their wives; bachelors escorting their +sweethearts, and not unfrequently extinguishing their flambeaux, that +the dependence of the females upon their care and protection might more +lovingly call forth their gallantry. + +When Mike Reillaghan considered with due attention the hint which Darby +More had given him, touching the necessity of collecting his friends +as an escort for Peggy Gartland, he had strong reasons to admit its +justness and propriety. After Mass he spoke to about two dozen young +fellows who joined him, and under their protection Peggy now returned +safely to her father's house. + +Frank M'Kenna and his wife reached home about two o'clock; the dance +was comparatively thin, though still kept up with considerable spirit. +Having solemnized himself by the grace of so sacred a rite, Frank +thought proper to close the amusement, and recommend those whom he found +in the barn to return to their respective dwellings. + +“You have had a merry night, childher,” said he; “but too much o' one +thing's good for nothin'; so don't make a toil of a pleasure, but go all +home dacently an' soberly, in the name o' God.” + +This advice was accordingly followed. The youngsters separated, and +M'Kenna joined his family, “to have a sup along wid them and Barny, in +honor of what they had hard.” It was upon this occasion he missed his +son Frank, whose absence from the dance he had not noticed since his +return until then. + +“Musha, where's Frank,” he inquired: “I'll warrant him, away wid his +blackguards upon no good. God look down upon him! Many a black heart has +that boy left us! If it's not the will o' heaven, I fear he'll come to +no good. Barny, is he long gone from the dance?” + +“Troth, Frank, wid the noise an' dancin', an' me bem' dark,” replied +Barny, shrewdly, “I can't take on me to say. For all you spake agin him, +the sorra one of him but's a clane, dacent, spirited boy, as there +is widin a great ways of him. Here's all your, healths! Faix, 'girls, +you'll all sleep sound.” + +“Well,” said Mrs. M'Kenna, “the knowledge of that Darby More is +unknowable! Here's a Carol I bought from him, an' if you wor but to hear +the explanations he put to it! Why Father Hoolaghan could hardly outdo +him!” + +“Divil a-man in the five parishes can dance 'Jig Polthogue' wid him, +for all that,” said Barny. “Many a time Granua an' I played it for him, +an' you'd know the tune upon his feet. He undherstands a power o' ranns +and prayers, an' has charms an' holy herbs for all kinds of ailments, no +doubt.” + +“These men, you see,” observed Mrs. M'Kenna, in the true spirit of +credulity and superstition, “may do many things that the likes of us +oughtn't to do, by raison of their great fastin' an' prayin'.” + +“Thrue for you, Alley,” replied her husband: “but come, let us have a +sup more in comfort: the sleep's gone _a shraugran_ an us this night, +any way, so, Barny, give us a song, an' afther that we'll have a taste +o' prayers, to close the night.” + +“But you don't think of the long journey I've before me,” replied Barny: +“how-and-iver, if you promise to send some one home wid me, we'll have +the song. I wouldn't care, but the night bein' dark, you see, I'll want +somebody to guide me.” + +“Faith, an' it's but rasonable, Barny, an' you must get Rody home wid +you. I suppose he's asleep in his bed by this, but we'll rouse him!” + +Barny replied by a loud triumphant laugh, for this was one of his +standing jests. + +“Well, Frank,” said he, “I never thought you war so soft, and me can +pick my steps me same at night as in daylight! Sure that's the way +I done them to-night, when one o' Granua's strings broke. 'Sweets o' +psin,' says I; 'a candle--bring me a candle immediately.' An' down came +Rody in all haste wid a candle. 'Six eggs to you, Rody,' says myself, +'an' half-a-dozen o' them rotten! but you're a bright boy, to bring +a candle to a blind man!' and then he stood _a bouloare_ to the whole +house--ha, ha, ha!” + +Barny, who was not the man to rise first from the whiskey, commenced the +relation of his choicest anecdotes; old Frank and the family, being now +in a truly genial mood, entered into the spirit of his jests, so that +between chat, songs, and whiskey, the hour had now advanced to four +o'clock. The fiddler was commencing another song, when the door opened, +and Frank presented himself, nearly, but not altogether in a state +of intoxication; his face was besmeared with blood; and his whole +appearance that of a man under the influence of strong passion, such as +would seem to be produced by disappointment and defeat. + +“What!” said the father, “is it snowin', Frank? Your clothes are covered +wid snow!” + +“Lord, guard us!” exclaimed the mother, “is that blood upon your face, +Frank?” + +“It is snowin', and it is blood that's upon my face,” answered Frank, +moodily--“do you want to know more news?” + +“Why, ay indeed,” replied his mother, “we want to hear how you came to +be cut?” + +“You won't hear it, thin,” he replied. + +The mother was silent, for she knew the terrible fits of passion to +which he was subject. + +The father groaned deeply, and exclaimed--“Frank, Frank, God help you, +an' show you the sins you're committin', an' the heart-scaldin' you're +givin' both your mother and me! What fresh skrimmage had you that you're +in that state?” + +“Spare yourself the throuble of inquirin',” he replied: “all I can say,” + he continued, starting up into sudden fury--“all I can say, an' I say +it--I swear it--where's the prayer-book?” and he ran frantically to a +shelf beside the dresser on which the prayer-book lay,--“ay! by him +that made me I'll sware it--by this sacred book, while I live, Mike +Keillaghan, the husband of Peggy Gartland you'll never be, if I should +swing for it! Now you all seen I kissed the book!” as he spoke, he +tossed it back upon the shelf. + +The mirth that had prevailed in the family was immediately hushed, and a +dead silence ensued; Frank sat down, but instantly rose again, and flung +the chair from him with such violence that it was crashed to pieces; +he muttered oaths and curses, ground his teeth, and betrayed all the +symptoms of jealousy, hatred, and disappointment. + +“Frank, a bouchal,” said Barny, commencing to address him in a +conciliatory tone--“Frank, man alive----” + +“Hould your tongue, I say, you blind vagabone, or by the night above us, +I'll break your fiddle over your skull, if you dar to say another word. +What I swore I'll do, an' let no one crass me.” + +He was a powerful young man, and such was his temper, and so well was +it understood, that not one of the family durst venture a word of +remonstrance. + +The father arose, went to the door, and returned. “Barny,” said he, +“you must content yourself where you are for this night. It's snowin' +heavily, so you had betther sleep wid Rody; I see a light in the barn, I +suppose he's after bringing in his bed an' makin' it.” + +“I'll do any thing,” replied the poor fiddler, now apprehensive of +violence from the outrageous temper of young Frank. + +“Well, thin,” added the good man, “let us all go to bed, in the name of +God. Micaul, bring Barny to the barn, and see that he's comfortable.” + +This was complied with, and the family quietly and timidly retired to +rest, leaving the violent young man storming and digesting his passion, +behind them. + +Mass on Christmas morning was then, as now, performed at day-break, and +again the Roman Catholic inhabitants of the parish were up betimes to +attend it. Frank M'Kenna's family were assembled, notwithstanding their +short sleep, at an early breakfast; but their meal, in consequence of +the unpleasant sensation produced by the outrage of their son, was less +cheerful than it would I otherwise have been. Perhaps, too, the gloom +which hung over them, was increased by the snow that had fallen the +night before, and by the wintry character of the day, which was such as +to mar much of their expected enjoyment. There was no allusion made to +their son's violence over-night; neither did he himself appear to be +in any degree affected by it. When breakfast was over, they prepared to +attend mass, and, what was unusual, young Frank was the first to set out +for the chapel. + +“Maybe,” said the father, after he was gone--“maybe that fool of a boy +is sarry for his behavior. It's many a day since I knew him to go to +mass of his own accord. It's a good sign, any way.” + +“Musha,” inquired his mother, “what could happen atween him an' that +civil boy, Mike Reillaghan?” + +“The sorra one o' me knows,” replied his father: “an' now that I think +of it, sure enough there was none o' them at the dance last night, +although I sent himself down for them. Micaul,” he added, addressing the +other son, “will you put an your big coat, slip down to Reillaghan's, +an' bring me word what came atween them at all; an' tell Owen himself +the thruth that this boy's brakin' our hearts by his coorses.” + +Micaul, who, although he knew the cause of the enmity between these +rivals, was ignorant of that which occasioned his brother's rash oath, +also felt anxious to ascertain the circumstances of the last quarrel. +For this purpose, as well as in obedience to his father's wishes, he +proceeded to Reillaghan's and arrived just as Darby More and young Mike +had set out for mass. + +“What,” said the mendicant, “can be bringing Micaul down, I wondher? +somethin' about that slip o' grace, his brother.” + +“I suppose, so,” said Mike; “an' I wish the same slip was as dacent an' +inoffensive as he is. I don't know a boy livin' I'd go farther for nor +the same Micaul.--He's a credit to the family as much as the other's a +stain upon them.” + +“Well, any how, you war Frank's match, an' more, last night. How bitther +he was bint on bringin' Peggy aff', when he an' his set waited till they +seen the country clear, an' thought the family asleep? Had you man for +man, Mike?” + +“Ay, about that; an' we sat so snug in Peggy's that you'd hear a pin +fallin'. A hard tug, too, there was in the beginnin'; but whin they +found that we had a strong back, they made away, an' we gave them +purshute from about the house.” + +“You may thank me, any how, for havin' her to the good; but I knew by my +dhrame, wid the help o' God, that there was somethin' to happen; by the +same a token, that your mother's an' her high horse about that dhrame. +I'm to tell it to her, wid the sinse of it, in the evenin', when the +day's past, an' all of us in comfort.” + +“What was it, Darby? sure you may let me hear it.” + +“Maybe I will in the evenin'. It was about you an' Peggy, the darlin'. +But how will you manage in regard of brakin' the oath, an' sthrikin' a +brother?” + +“Why, that I couldn't get over it, when he sthruck me first: sure he's +worse off. I'll lave it to the Dilegates, an' whatever judgment they +give out, I'll take wid it.” + +“Well,” observed Darby, sarcastically, “it made him do one good turn, +any way.” + +“What was that, Darby? for good turns are but scarce wid him.” + +“Why, it made him hear mass to-day,” replied the mendicant; “an' that's +what he hadn't the grace to do this many a year. It's away in the +mountains wid his gun he'd be, thracin', an' a fine day it is for +it--only this business prevints him. Now, Mike,” observed. Darby, “as +we're comin' out upon the boreen, I'll fall back, an' do you go an; +I have part of my padareem to say, before I get to the chapel, wid a +blessin'; an' we had as good not be seen together.” + +The mendicant, as he spoke, pulled out a long pair of beads, on which +he commenced his prayers, occasionally accosting an aquaintance with the +_Gho mhany Deah ghud_, (* God save you) and sometimes taking a part in +the conversation for a minute or two, after which he resumed the prayers +as before. + +The day was now brightening up, although the earlier part of the morning +had threatened severe weather. Multitudes were flocking to the chapel; +the men well secured in frieze great-coats, in addition to which, many +of them had their legs bound with straw ropes, and others with leggings +made of old hats, cut up for the purpose. The women were secured with +cloaks, the hoods of which were tied with kerchiefs of some showy color +over their bonnets or their caps, which, together with their elbows +projecting behind, for the purpose of preventing their dress from being +dabbled in the snow, gave them a marked and most picturesque appearance. + +Reillaghan and M'Kenna both reached the chapel a considerable time +before the arrival of the priest; and as a kind of Whiteboy committee +was to sit for the purpose of investigating their conduct in holding out +so dangerous an example as they did, by striking each other, contrary +to their oaths as brothers under the same system, they accordingly were +occupied each in collecting his friends, and conciliating those whom +they supposed to be hostile to them on the opposite party. It had been +previously arranged that this committee should hold a court of inquiry, +and that, provided they could not agree, the matter was to be referred +to two hedge-schoolmasters, who should act as umpires; but if it +happened that the latter could not decide it, there was no other +tribunal appointed to which a final appeal could be made. + +According to these regulations, a court was opened in a shebeen-house, +that stood somewhat distant from the road. Twelve young fellows seated +themselves on each side of a deal table, with one of the umpires at each +end of it, and a bottle of whiskey in the middle. In a higher sphere +of life it is usual to refer such questionable conduct as occurs in +duelling, to the arbitration of those who are known to be qualified by +experience in the duello. On this occasion the practice was not much +departed from, those who had been thus selected as the committee being +the notoriously pugnacious “boys” in the whole parish. + +“Now, boys,” said one of the schoolmasters, “let us proceed to +operations wid proper spirit,” and he filled a glass of whiskey as he +spoke. “Here's all your healths, and next, pace and unanimity to us! +Call in the culprits.” + +Both were accordingly admitted, and the first speaker resumed--“Now, in +the second place, I'll read yez that part of the oath which binds us all +under the obligation of not strikin' one another--hem! hem! 'No +brother is to strike another, knowing him to be such; he's to strike +him--hem!--neither in fair nor market, at home nor abroad, neither +in public nor in private, neither on Sunday nor week-day, present or +absent, nor--'” + +“I condimn that,” observed the other master--“I condimn it, as bein' too +latitudinarian in principle, an' containing a para-dogma; besides it's +bad grammar.” + +“You're rather airly in the market wid your bad grammar,” replied the +other: “I'll grant you the paradogma, but I'll stand up for the grammar +of it, while I'm able to stand up for anything.” + +“Faith, an' if you rise to stand up for that,” replied his friend, “and +doesn't choose to sit down till you prove it to be good grammar, you'll +be a standin' joke all your life.” + +“I bleeve it's purty conspicuous in the parish, that I have often, in +our disputations about grammar, left you widout a leg to stand upon at +all,” replied the other. + +This sally was well received, but his opponent was determined to push +home the argument at once. + +“I would be glad to know,” he inquired, “by what beautiful invintion +a man could contrive to strike another in his absence? Have you good +grammar for that?” + +“And did you never hear of detraction?” replied his opponent; “that is, +a man who's in the habit of spaking falsehoods of his friends whin their +backs are turned--that is to say, whin they are absent. Now, sure, if a +man's absent whin his back's turned, mayn't any man whose back's turned +be said to be absent--ergo, to strike a man behind his back is to strike +him whin he's absent. Does that confound you? where's your logic and +grammar to meet proper ratiocination like what I'm displaying?” + +“Faith,” replied the other, “you may have had logic and grammar, but +I'll take my oath it was in your younger years, for both have been +absent ever since I knew you: they turned their backs upon you, man +alive; for they didn't like, you see, to be keepin' bad company--ha, ha, +ha!” + +“Why, you poor crathur,” said his antagonist, “if I'd choose to let +myself out, I could make a hare of you in no time entirely.” + +“And an ass of yourself,” retorted the other: “but you may save yourself +the throuble in regard of the last, for your frinds know you to be an +ass ever since they remimber you. You have them here, man alive, the +auricles,” and he pointed to his ears. + +“Hut! get out wid you, you poor Jamaica-headed castigator, you; sure you +never had more nor a thimbleful o' sinse on any subject.” + +“Faith, an' the thimble that measured yours was a tailor's, one widout a +bottom in it, an' good measure you got, you miserable flagellator! what +are you but a _nux vomica?_ A fit of the ague's a thrifle compared to +your asinity.” + +The “boys” were delighted at this encounter, and utterly forgetful of +the pacific occasion on which they had assembled, began to pit them +against each other with great glee. + +“That's a hard hit, Misther Costigan; but you won't let it pass, any +how.” + +“The ague an' you are ould acquaintances,” retorted Costigan; “whenever +a skrimmage takes place, you're sure to resave a visit from it.” + +“Why, I'm not such a hare as yourself,” replied his rival, “nor such a +great hand at batin' the absent--ha, ha, ha!” + +“Bravo, Misther Connell--that's a leveller; come, Misther Costigan, +bedad, if you don't answer that you're bate.” + +“By this and by that, man alive, if you don't mend your manners, maybe +I'd make it betther for you to be absent also. You'll only put me to the +throuble of men din' them for you.” + +“Mend my manners!” exclaimed his opponent, with a bitter sneer,--“you +to mend them! out wid your budget and your hammer, then; you're the very +tinker of good manners--bekase for one dacency you'd mend, you'd spoil +twenty.” + +“I'm able to hammer you at all events, or, for that matther, any one +of your illiterate gineration. Sure it's well known that you can't tach +Voshther (Voster) widout the Kay.” + +“Hould there, if you plase,” exclaimed one of his opponent's relations; +“don't lug in his family; that's known to be somewhat afore your own, I +bleeve. There's no Informers among them, Misther Costigan: keep at home, +masther, if you plase.” + +“At home! That's more than some o' your own cleavings (* distant +relations) have been able to do,” rejoined Costigan, alluding to one of +the young fellow's acquaintances who had been transported. + +“Do you mane to put an affront upon me?” said the other. + +“Since the barrhad (* cap) fits you, wear it,” replied Costigan. + +“Very right, masther, make him a present of it,” exclaimed one of +Costigan's distant relations; “he desarves that, an' more if he'd get +it.” + +“Do I?” said the other; “an' what have you to say on the head of it, +Bartle?” + +“Why, not much,” answered Bartle, “only that you ought to've left it +betune them; an' that I'll back Misther Costigan agin any rascal that +'ud say there was ever a dhrop of his blood in an Informer's veins.” + +“I say it for one,” replied the other. + +“And I, for another,” said Connell; “an' what's worse, I'll hould a +wager, that if he was searched this minute, you'd find a Kay to Gough in +his pocket, although he throws Vosther in my teeth: the dunce never goes +widout one. Sure he's not able to set a dacent copy, or headline, or +to make a dacent hook, nor a hanger, nor a down stroke, and was a poor +scholar, too!” + +“I'll give you a down stroke in the mane time, you ignoramus,” said +the pedagogue, throwing' himself to the end of the table at I which his +enemy sat, and laying him along the floor by a single blow. + +He was instantly attacked by the friend of the prostrate academician, +who was in his turn attacked by the friend of Costigan. The adherents +of the respective teachers I were immediately rushing to a general +engagement, when the door opened, and Darby More made his appearance. + +“Asy!--stop wid yees!--hould back, ye I disgraceful villains!” exclaimed +the mendicant, in a thundering voice. “Be asy, I say. Saints in glory! +is this the way you're settlin' the dispute between the two dacent young +men, that's sorry, both o' them, I'll go bail, for what they done. Sit +down, every one o' yez, or, by the blessed ordhers I wear about me, I'll +report yez to Father Hoolaghan, an' have yez read out from the althar, +or sint to Lough Derg! Sit down, I say!” + +As he spoke, he extended his huge cant between the hostile parties, and +thrust them one by one to their seats with such muscular energy, that he +had them sitting before another blow could be given. + +“Saints in glory!” he exclaimed again, “isn't this blessed doins an the +sacred day that's in it! that a poor helpless ould man like me +can't come to get somethin' to take away this misfortunit touch o' +configuration that I'm afflicted wid in cowld weather--that I can't take +a little sup of the only thing that I cures me--widout your ructions and +battles! You came here to make pace between two dacent men's childher, +an' you're as bad, if not worse, yourselves!--Oh, wurrah dheelish, +what's this! I'm in downright agony! Oh, murdher sheery! Has none o' yez +a hand to thry if there's e'er a dhrop of relief in that bottle? or am I +to die all out, in the face o' the world, for want of a sup o' somethin' +to warm me?” + +“Darby, thry the horn,” said M'Kenna. + +“Here, Darby,” said one of them, “dhrink this off, an' my life for +yours, it'll warm you to the marrow!” + +“Och, musha, but I wanted it badly,” replied Darby, swallowing it at +once; “it's the only thing that does me good when I'm this way. _Deah +Graslhias!_ Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!” + +“I think,” said M'Kenna, “that what's in the horn's far afore it.” + +“Oh, thin, you thoughtless crathur, if you knew somethin' I hard about +you a while ago, you'd think otherwise. But, indeed, it's thrue for you; +I'm sure I'd be sarry to compare what's in it to anything o' the kind I +tuck. Deah Grasthias! Throth, I'm asier now a great dale nor I was.” + +“Will you take another sup, Darby?” inquired the young fellow in whose +hands the bottle was now nearly empty; there's jist about another +glass.” + +“Indeed, an' I 'will, avillish; an' sure you'll have my blessin' for +it, an' barrin' the priest's own, you couldn't have a more luckier +one--blessed be God for it--sure that's well known. In throth, they +never came to ill that had it, an' never did good that got my curse! +Hoop! do you hear how that rises the wind off o' my stomach! Houp!--Deah +Grasthias for that!” + +“How did you larn all the prayers an' charms you have, Darby?” inquired +the bottle-holder. + +“It would take me too long to tell you that, avillish! But, childher, +now that you're all together, make it up wid one another. Aren't you all +frinds an' brothers, sworn brothers, an' why would you be fightin' among +other? Misther Costigan, give me your hand; sure I heard a thrifle o' +what you were sayin' while I was suckin' my dudeen at the fire widout. +Come here, Misther Connell. Now, before the saints in glory, I lay my +bitter curse an him that refuses to shake hands wid his inimy. There +now--I'm proud to see it. Mike, avourneen, come here--Frank M'Kenna, +gustho (* come hither), walk over here; my bitther heart's curse upon of +yez, if you don't make up all quarrels this minit! Are you willin, Mike +lieillaghan?” + +“I have no objection in life,” replied Mike, “if he'll say that Peggy +Gartland won't be put to any more throuble through his manes.” + +“There's my hand, Mike,” said Frank, “that I forget an' forgive all +that's past; and in regard to Peggy Gartland, why, as she's so dark agin +me, I lave her to you for good.” * + +“Well! see what it is to have the good intintions!--to be makin' pace +an' friendship atween inimies! That's all I think about, an' nothin' +gives me greater pleas--Saints o' glory!--what's this!--Oh wurrah!--that +thief of a--wurrah dheelish!--that touch o' configuration's comin' back +agin!--O, thin, but it's hard to get it undher!--Oh!”-- + +“I'm sarry for it, Darby,” replied he who held the now empty bottle; +“for the whiskey's out.” + +“Throth, an' I'm sarry myself, for nothin' else does me good; an' Father +Hoolaghan says nothin' can keep it down, barrin' the sup o' whiskey. +It's best burnt, wid a little bit o' butther an it; but I can't get that +always, it overtakes me so suddenly, glory be to God!” + +“Well,” said M'Kenna, “as Mike an' myself was the manes of bringin' us +together, why, if he joins me, we'll have another bottle.” + +“Throth, an' its fair an' dacent, an' he must do it; by the same a +token, that I'll not lave the house till it's dhrunk, for there's no +thrustin' yez together, you're so hot-headed an' ready to rise the +hand,” said Darby. + +M'Kenna and Mike, having been reconciled, appeared in a short time +warmer friends than ever. While the last bottle went round, those who +had before been on the point of engaging in personal conflict, now +laughed at their own foibles, and expressed the kindness and good-will +which they felt for each other at heart. + +“Now,” said the mendicant, “go all of you to mass, an' as soon as you +can, to confission, for it's not good to have the broken oath an' the +sin of it over one. Confiss it, an' have your conscience light: +sure it's a happiness that you can have the guilt taken off o' yez, +childher.” + +“Thrue for you, Darby,” they replied; “an' we'll be thinkin' of your +advice.” + +“Ay, do, childher; an' there's Father Hoolaghan comin' down the road, +so, in the name o' Goodness, we haven't a minnit to lose.” + +They all left the shebeen-house as he spoke except Frank and himself, +who remained until they had gone out of hearing. + +“Darby,” said he, “I want you to come up to our house in the mornin', +an' bring along wid you the things that you Stamp the crass upon the +skin wid: I'm goin' to get the crucifix put upon me. But on the paril o' +your life, don't brathe a word of it to mortual.” + +“God enable you, avick! it's a good intintion. I will indeed be up wid +you--airly too, wid a blessin'. It is that, indeed--a good intintion, +sure enough.” + +The parish chapel was about one hundred perches from the shebeen-house +in which the “boys” had assembled; the latter were proceeding there in a +body when Frank overtook them. + +“Mike,” said he aside to Reillaghan, “we'll have time enough--walk back +a bit; I'll tell you what I'm thinkin'; you never seen in your life a +finer day for thracin; what 'ud you say if we give the boys the slip, +never heed mass, an' set off to the mountains?” + +“Won't we have time enough afther mass?” said Reillaghan. + +“Why, man, sure you did hear mass once to-day. Weren't you at it last +night? No, indeed, we won't be time enough afther it; for this bein' +Chris'mas day, we must be home at dinner-time; you know it's not lucky +to be from the family upon set days. Hang-an-ounty, come: we'll have +fine sport! I have cocksticks * enough. The best part of the day 'll be +gone if we wait for mass. Come, an' let us start.” + + * A cockstick was so called from being used on Cock- + Monday, to throw at a cook tied to a stake, which was a + game common among the people It was about the length of + a common stick, but much heavier and thicker at one + end. + +“Well, well,” replied Reillaghan, “the sorra hair I care; so let us +go. I'd like myself to have a rap at the hares in the Black Hills, sure +enough; but as it 'ud be remarkable for us to be seen lavin' mass, why +let us crass the field here, an' get out upon the road above the bridge.” + +To this his companion assented, and they both proceeded at a brisk pace, +each apparently anxious for the sport, and resolved to exhibit such a +frank cordiality of manner as might convince the other that all their +past enmity was forgotten and forgiven. + +The direct path to the mountains lay by M'Kenna's house, where it +was necessary they should call, in order to furnish themselves with +cocksticks, and to bring dogs which young Frank kept for the purpose. +The inmates of the family were at mass, with the exception of Frank's +mother, and Rody, the servant-man, whom they found sitting on his own +bed in the barn, engaged at cards, the right hand against the left. + +“Well, Rody,” said Frank, “who's winnin'?” + +“The left entirely,” replied his companion: “the divil a game at all the +right's gettin', whatever's the rason of it, an' I'm always turnin' up +black. I hope none of my friends or acquaintances will die soon.” + +“Throw them aside--quit of them,” said Prank, “give them to me, I'll put +them past; an' do you bring us out the gun. I've the powdher an' shot +here; we may as well bring her, an' have a slap at them. One o' the +officers in the barracks of ---- keeps me in powdher an' shot, besides +givin' me an odd crown, an' I keep him in game.” + +“Why, thin, boys,” observed Rody, “what's the manin' o' this?--two o' +the biggest inimies in Europe last night an' this mornin' an' now as +great as two thieves! How does that come?” + +“Very asy, Rody,” replied Reillaghan; “we made up the quarrel, shuck +hands, an's good frinds as ever.” + +“Bedad, that bates cock-fightin',” said Body, as he went to bring in the +gun. + +In the mean time, Prank, with the cards in his hand, went to the eave +of the barn, I thrust them up under the thatch, and took out of the same +nook a flask of whiskey. + +“We'll want this,” said he, putting it to his lips, and gulping down +a portion. “Come Mike, be tastin'; and aftherwards i put this in your +pocket.” + +Mike followed his example, and was corking the flask when Rody returned +with the gun. + +“She's charged,” said Frank; “but we'd betther put in fresh primin' for +'fraid of her hangin' fire.” + +He then primed the gun, and handed it to Reillaghan. “Do you keep the +gun, Mike,” he added, “an' I'll keep the cocksticks. Rody, I'll bet you +a shillin' I kill more wid! the cockstick, nor he will wid the gun, will +you take me up?” + +“I know a safer thrick,” replied Rody; “you're a dead aim wid the +cockstick, sure enough, an' a deader with the gun, too; catch me at it.” + +“You show some sinse, for a wondher,” observed Frank, as he and his +companion left the barn, and turned towards the mountains, which rose +frowning behind the house. Rody stood looking after them until they +wound up slowly out of sight among the hills; he then shook his head two +or three times, and exclaimed, “By dad, there's somethin' in this, if +one could make out: what it is. I know Frank.” + +Christmas-day passed among the peasantry, as it usually passes in +Ireland. Friends met before dinner in their own, in their neighbors', +in shebeen or in public houses, where they drank, sang, or fought, +according to their natural dispositions, or the quantity of liquor they +had taken. The festivity of the day might be known by the unusual reek +of smoke that danced from each chimney, by the number of persons who +crowded the roads, by their bran-new dresses,--for if a young man +or country girl can afford a dress at all, they provide it for +Christmas,--and by the striking appearance of those who, having drunk a +little too much, were staggering home in the purest happiness, singing, +stopping their friends, shaking hands with them, or kissing them, +without any regard to sex. Many a time might be seen two Irishmen,' who +had got drunk together, leaving a fair or market, their arms about each +other's necks, from whence they only removed them to kiss and hug one +another more lovingly. Notwithstanding this, there is nothing more +probable than that these identical two will enjoy the luxury of a mutual +battle, by way of episode, and again proceed on their way, kissing and +hugging as if nothing had happened to interrupt their friendship. All +the usual effects of jollity and violence, fun and fighting, love and +liquor, were, of course, to be seen, felt, heard, and understood on this +day, in a manner much more remarkable than on common occasions; for it +maybe observed, that the national festivals of the Irish bring-out their +strongest points of character with peculiar distinctness. + +The family of Frank M'Kenna were sitting down to their Christmas dinner; +the good man had besought a blessing upon the comfortable and abundant +fare of which they were about to partake, and nothing was amiss, save +the absence of their younger son. + +“Musha, where on earth can this boy be stayin'?” said the father: “I'm +sure this, above all days in the year, is one he oughtn't to be from home +an.” + +The mother was about to inform him of the son's having gone to +the mountains, when the latter returned, breathless, pale, and +horror-struck. + +Rody eyed him keenly, and laid down the bit he was conveying to his +mouth. + +“Heavens above us!” exclaimed his mother, “what ails you?” + +He only replied by dashing his hat upon the ground, and exclaiming, “Up +wid yez!--up wid yez!--quit your dinners! Oh, Rody! what'll be done? +Go down to Owen Reillaghan's--go 'way--go down--an' tell thim--Oh, +vick-na-hoie! but this was the unfortunate day to us all? Mike +reillaghan is shot with my gun; she went off in his hand goin' over a +snow wreath, an' he's lyin' dead in the mountains?” + +The screams and the wailing which immediately rose in the family were +dreadful. Mrs. M'Kenna almost fainted; and the father, after many +struggles to maintain his firmness, burst into the bitter tears of +disconsolation and affliction. Rody was calmer, but turned his eyes +from one to another with a look of deep compassion, and again eyed Frank +keenly and suspiciously. + +Frank's eye caught his, and the glance which had surveyed him with such +a scrutiny did not escape his observation. “Rody,” said he, “do you go +an' brake it to the, Reillaghans: you're the best to do it; for, when we +were settin' out, you saw that he-carried the gun, an' not me.” + +“Thrue for you,” said Rody; “I saw that, Frank, and can swear to it; but +that's all I did see. I know nothing of what happened in the mountains.” + +“Damnho sheery orth! (* Eternal perdition on you!) What do you mane, you +villain?” exclaimed Prank, seizing the tongs, and attempting to strike +him: “do you dar to suspect that I had any hand in it.” + +“Wurrah dheelish, Frank,” screamed the sisters, “are you goin' to murdher +Rody?” + +“Murdher,” he shouted, in a paroxysm of fury, “Why the curse o' God upon +you all, what puts murdher into your heads? Is it my own family that's +the first to charge me wid it?” + +“Why, there's no one chargin' you wid it,” replied Rody; “not one, +whatever makes you take it to yourself.” + +“An' what did you look at me for, thin, the way you did? What did you +look at me for, I say?” + +“Is it any wondher,” replied the servant coolly, “when you had sich a +dreadful story to tell?” + +“Go off,” replied Frank, now hoarse with passion--“go off! an' tell the +Reillaghans what happened; but, by all the books that ever was opened +or shut, if you breathe a word about murdher--about--if you do, you +villain, I'll be the death o' you!” + +When Rody was gone on this melancholy errand, old M'Kenna first put the +tongs, and everything he feared might be used as a weapon by his frantic +son, out of his reach; he then took down the book on which he had the +night before sworn so rash and mysterious an oath, and desired his son +to look upon it. + +“Frank,” said he, solemnly, “you swore on that blessed book last night, +that Mike Reillaghan never would be the husband of Peggy Gartland--he's +a corpse to-day! Yes,” he continued, “the good, the honest, the +industhrious boy is”--his sobs became so loud and thick that he appeared +almost suffocated. “Oh,” said he, “may God pity us! As I hope to meet +my blessed Savior, who was born on this day, I would rather you wor the +corpse, an' not Mike Reillaghan!” + +“I don't doubt that,” said the son, fiercely; “you never showed me much +grah, (* affection) sure enough.” + +“Did you ever desarve it?” replied the father. “Heaven above me knows it +was too much kindness was showed you. When you ought to have been well +corrected, you got your will an' your way, an' now see the upshot.” + +“Well,” said the son, “it's the last day ever I'll stay in the family; +thrate me as bad as you plase. I'll take the king's bounty, an' list, if +I live to see to-morrow.” + +“Oh, thin, in the name o' Goodness, do so,” said the father; “an' so far +from previntin' you, we'll bless you when you're gone, for goin'.” + +“Arrah, Frank, aroon,” said Mrs. M'Kenna, who was now recovered, “maybe, +afther all, it was only an accident: sure we often hard of sich things. +Don't you remimber Squire Elliott's son, that shot himself by accident, +out fowlin'? Frank, can you clear yourself before us?” + +“Ah, Alley! Alley!” exclaimed the father, wiping away his tears, “don't +you remimber his oath, last night?” + +“What oath?” inquired the son, with an air of surprise--“What oath, last +night? I know I was drunk last night, but I remimber nothing about an +oath.” + +“Do you deny it, you hardened boy?” + +“I do deny it; an' I'm not a hardened boy. What do you all mane? do +you want to dhrive me mad? I know nothin' about any oath last night;” + replied the son in a loud voice. The grief of the mother and daughters +was loud during the pauses of the conversation. Micaul, the eldest son, +sat beside his father in tears. + +“Frank,” said he, “many an advice I gave you between ourselves, and you +know how you tuck them. When you'd stale the oats, an' the meal, and the +phaties, an' hay, at night, to have money for your cards an' dhrinkin', +I kept it back, an' said nothin' about it. I wish I hadn't done so, for +it wasn't for your good: but it was my desire to have, as much pace and +quietness as possible.” + +“Frank,” said the father, eyeing him solemnly, “it's possible that you +do forget the oath you made last night, for you war in liquor: I would +give the wide world that it was thrue. Can you now, in the presence +of God, clear yourself of havin' act or part in the death of Mike +Reillaghan?” + +“What 'ud ail me,” said the son, “if I liked?” + +“Will you do it now for our satisfaction, an' take a load of misery +off of our hearts? It's the laste you may do, if you can do it. In the +presence of the great God, will you clear yourself now?” + +“I suppose,” said the son, “I'll have to clear myself to-morrow, an' +there's no use in my doin' it more that wanst. When the time comes, I'll +do it.” + +The father put his hands on his eyes, and groaned aloud: so deep was +his affliction, that the tears trickled through his fingers during this +fresh burst of sorrow. The son's refusal to satisfy them renewed the +grief of all, as well as of the father: it rose again, louder than +before, whilst young Frank sat opposite the door, silent and sullen. + +It was now dark, but the night was calm and agreeable. M'Kenna's family +felt the keen affliction which we have endeavored to describe; the +dinner was put hastily aside, and the festive spirit peculiar to this +night became changed into one of gloom and sorrow. In this state they +sat, when the voice of grief was heard loud in the distance; the strong +cry of men, broken and abrupt, mingled with the shrieking wail of female +lamentation. + +The M'Kennas started, and Frank's countenance assumed an expression +which it would be difficult to describe. There was, joined to his +extreme paleness, a restless, apprehensive, and determined look; each +trait apparently struggling for the ascendancy in his character, and +attempting' to stamp his countenance with its own expression. + +“Do you hear that?” said his father. “Oh, musha, Father of heaven, look +down an' support that family this night! Frank if you take my advice, +you'll lave their sight; for surely if they brain you on the spot, who +could blame them?” + +“Why ought I lave their sight?” replied Frank. “I tell you all that I had +no hand in his death. The gun went off by accident as he was crassin' a +wreath o' snow. I was afore him, and when I heard the report, an' turned +round, there he lay, shot an' bleedin'. I thought it mightn't signify, +but on lookin' at him closely, I found him quite dead. I then ran home, +never touchin' the gun at all, till his family and the neighbors 'ud see +him. Surely, it's no wondher I'd be distracted in my mind; but that's no +rason you should all open upon me as if I had murdhered the boy!” + +“Well,” said the father, “I'm glad to hear you say even that much. I +hope it maybe betther wid you than we all think; an' oh! grant it, sweet +mother o' Heaven, this day! Now carry yourself quietly afore the people. +If they abuse you, don't fly into a passion, but make allowance for +their grief and misery.” + +In the mean time, the tumult was deepening as it approached M'Kenna's +house. The report had almost instantly spread through in the village +which Reillaghan lived; and the loud cries of his father and brothers, +who, in the wildness of their despair, continually called upon his name, +had been heard at the houses which lay scattered over the neighborhood. +Their inmates, on listening to such unusual sounds, sought the direction +from which they proceeded, for it was quite evident that some terrible +calamity had befallen the Reillaghans, in consequence of the son's name +being borne on the blasts of night with such loud and overwhelming +tones of grief and anguish. The assembly, on reaching M'Kenna's, might, +therefore, be numbered at thirty, including the females of Reillaghan's +immediate family, who had been strung by the energy of despair to a +capability of bearing any fatigue, or rather to an utter insensibility +of all bodily suffering. + +We must leave the scene which ensued to the reader's imagination, merely +observing, that as neither the oath which young Frank had taken on +the preceding night, nor indeed the peculiar bitterness of his enmity +towards the deceased, was known by the Reillaghans, they did not, +therefore, discredit the account of his death which they had heard. + +Their grief was exclamatory and full of horror: consisting of prolonged +shrieks on the part of the women, and frantic howlings on that of +the men. The only words they uttered were his name, with epithets and +ejaculations. _Oh a Vichaul dheelish--a Vichaul dheelish--a bouchal +bane machree--wuil thu marra--wuil thu marra?_ “Oh, Michael, the +beloved--Michael, the beloved--fair boy of our heart--are you dead?--are +you dead?” From M'Kenna's the crowd, at the head of which was Darby +More, proceeded towards the mountains, many of them bearing torches, +such as had been used on their way to the Midnight Mass. The moon had +disappeared, the darkness was deepening, and the sky was overhung with +black heavy clouds, that gave a stormy character to scenery in itself re +wild and gloomy. + +Young M'Kenna and the pilgrim led them to the dreary waste in which the +corpse lay. It was certainly an awful spectacle to behold these unhappy +people toiling up the mountain solitude at such an hour, their convulsed +faces thrown into striking relief by the light of the torches, and their +cries rising in wild irregular cadences upon the blast which swept over +them with a dismal howl, in perfect character with their affliction, and +the circumstances which produced it. + +On arriving within view of the corpse, there was a slight pause; +for, notwithstanding the dreadful paroxysms of their grief, there was +something still more startling and terrible in contemplating the body +thus stretched out in the stillness of death, on the lonely mountain. +The impression it produced was peculiarly solemn: the grief was hushed +for a moment, but only for a moment; it rose again wilder than before, +and in a few minutes the friends of Reillaghan were about to throw +themselves upon the body, under the strong impulse of sorrow and +affection. + +The mendicant, however, stepped forward “Hould back,” said he; “it's +hard to ax yez to do it, but still you must. Let the neighbors about us +here examine the body, in ordher to see whether it mightn't be possible +that the dacent boy came by his death from somebody else's hand than his +own. Hould forrid the lights,” said he, “till we see how he's lyin', an' +how the gun's lyin'.” + +“Darby,” said young Frank, “I can't but be oblaged to you for that. +You're the last man livin' ought to say what you said, afther you seein' +us both forget an' forgive this day. I call upon you now to say whether +you didn't see him an' me shakin' hands, and buryin' all bad feelin' +between us?” + +“I'll spake to you jist now,” replied the mendicant. “See here, +neighbors, obsarve this; the boy was shot in the breast, an' here's not +a snow wreath, but a weeshy dhrift that a child 'ud step acrass widout +an accident. I tell you all, that I suspect foul play in this.” + +“Hell's fire,” exclaimed the brother of the deceased, “what's that +you say? What! Can it be--can it--can it--that you murdhered him, you +villain, that's known to be nothin' but a villain? But I'll do for you!” + He snatched at the gun as he spoke, and would probably have taken ample +and fearful vengeance upon Frank, had not the mendicant and others +prevented him. + +“Have sinse,” said Darby; “this is not the way to behave, man; lave the +gun lyin' where she is, till we see more about us. Stand back there, an' +let me look at these marks: ay, about five yards--there's the track of +feet about five yards before him--here they turn about, an' go back. +Here, Savior o' the world! see here! the mark, clane an' clear, of the +butt o' the gun! Now if that boy stretched afore us had the gun in his +hand the time she went off, could the mark of it be here? Bring me down +the gun--an' the curse o' God upon her for an unlucky thief, whoever had +her! It's thrue!--it's too thrue!” he continued--“the man that had the +gun stood on this spot.” + +“It's a falsity,” said Frank; “it's a damnable falsity. Rody Teague, I +call upon you to spake for me. Didn't you see, when we went out to the +hills, that it was Mike carried the gun, an' not me?” + +“I did,” replied Rody. “I can swear to that.” + +“Ay,” exclaimed Prank, with triumph; “an' you yourself, Darby, saw us, +as I said, makin' up whatsomever little differences there was betwixt +us.” + +“I did,” replied the mendicant, sternly; “but I heard you say, no longer +ago than last night--say!--why you swhore it, man alive!--that if you +wouldn't have Peggy Gartland, he never should. In your own stable I +heard it, an' I was the manes of disappointin' you an' your gang, when +you thought to take away the girl by force. You're well known too often +to carry a fair face when the heart under it is black wid you.” + +“All I can say is,” observed young Reillaghan, “that if it comes out +agin you that you played him foul, all the earth won't save your life; +I'll have your heart's blood, if I should hang for it a thousand times.” + +This dialogue was frequently interrupted by the sobbings and clamor of +the women, and the detached conversation of some of the men, who +were communicating to each other their respective opinions upon the +melancholy event which had happened. + +Darby More now brought Reillaghan's father aside, and thus addressed +him:-- + +“Gluntho! (* Listen)--to tell God's thruth, I've sthrong suspicions +that your son was murdhered. This sacred thing that I put the crass upon +people's breast wid, saves people from hangin' an' unnatural deaths. +Frank spoke to me last night, no longer ago, to come up an' mark it an' +him to-morrow. My opinion is, that he intinded to murdher him at that +time, an' wanted to have a protection agin what might happen to him in +regard o' the black deed.” + +“Can we prove it agin him?” inquired the disconsolate father: “I know +it'll be hard, as there was no one present but themselves; an' if he did +it, surely he'll not confess it.” + +“We may make him do it maybe,” said the mendicant; “the villain's asily +frightened, an' fond o' charms an' pisthrogues,* an' sich holy things, +for all his wickedness. Don't say a word. We'll take him by, surprise; +I'll call upon him to touch the corpse. Make them women--an' och, it's +hard to expect it--make them stop clappin' their hands an' cryin'; an' +let there be a dead silence, if you can.” + +During this and some other observations made by Darby, Frank had got the +gun in his possession; and, whilst seeming to be engaged in looking at +it, and examining the lock, he actually contrived to reload it without +having been observed. + +“Now, neighbors,” said Darby, “hould your tongues for a weeshy start, +till I ax Frank M'Kenna a question or two. Frank M'Kenna, as you hope +to meet God, at Judgment, did you take his life that's lyin' a corpse +before us'?” + +“I did not,” replied M'Kenna; “I could clear myself on all the books +in Europe, that he met his death as I tould you; an' more nor that,” + he added, dropping upon his knees, and uncovering his head, “may I die +widout priest or prayer--widout help, hope, or happiness, upon the spot +where he's now stretched, if I murdhered or shot him.” + +“I say amin to that,” replied Darby; “Oxis Doxis Glorioxis!--So far, +that's right, if the blood of him's not an you. But there's one thing +more to be done: will you walk over undher the eye of God, an' touch the +corpse? Hould back, neighbors, an' let him come over alone: I an' Owen +Reillaghan will stand here wid the lights, to see if the corpse bleeds.” + +“Give me, too, a light,” said M'Kenna's father; “my son must get fair +play, anyway: must be a witness myself to it, an' will, too.” + +“It's but rasonable,” said Owen Reillaghan; “come over beside Darby +an' myself: I'm willin' that your son should stand or fall by what'll +happen.” + +Frank's father, with a taper in his hand, immediately went, with a pale +face and trembling steps, to the place appointed for him beside the +corpse, where he took his stand. + +When young M'Kenna heard Darby's last question he seemed as if seized by +an inward spasm: the start which he gave, and his gaspings for breath, +were visible to all present. Had he seen the spirit of the murdered man +before him, his horror could not have been greater; for this ceremony +had been considered a most decisive test in cases of suspicion of +murder--an ordeal, indeed, to which few murderers wished to submit +themselves. In addition to this we may observe, that Darby's knowledge +of the young man's character was correct; with all his crimes he was +weak-minded and superstitious. + +He stood silent for some time after the ordeal had been proposed to +him; his hair became literally erect, with the dread of this formidable +scrutiny, his cheeks turned white, and the cold perspiration fell from +him in large drops. All his strength appeared to have departed from him; +he stood, as if hesitating, and even energy necessary to stand seemed to +be the result of an effort. + +“Remember,” said Darby, pulling out the large crucifix which was +attached to his heads, “that the eye of God is upon you. If you've +committed the murdher, thrimble; if not, Frank, you've little to fear in +touchin' the corpse.” + +Frank had not uttered a word; but, leaning himself on the gun, he looked +wildly around him, cast his eyes up to the stormy sky, then turned them +with a dead glare upon the corpse and the crucifix. + +“Do you confiss the murdher?” said Darby. + +“Murdher!” rejoined Frank: “no! I confess no murdher: you villain, do +you want to make me guilty;--do you want to make me guilty, you deep +villain?” + +It seemed as if the current of his thoughts and feelings had taken a new +direction, though it is probable that the excitement which appeared to +be rising within him was only the courage of fear. + +“You all wish to find me guilty,” he added: “but I'll show you that I'm +not guilty.” + +He immediately walked towards the corpse, and stooping down, touched the +body with one hand, holding the gun in the other. The interest of that +moment was intense, and all eyes were strained towards the spot. +Behind the corpse, at each shoulder--for the body lay against a small +snow-wreath, in a recumbent position--stood the father of the deceased +and the father of the accused, each wound up by feelings of a directly +opposite character to a pitch of dreadful excitement over them, in his +fantastic dress and white beard, stood the tall mendicant, who held up +his crucifix to Frank, with an awful menace upon his strongly marked +countenance. At a little distance to the left of the body stood other +men who were assembled, having their torches held aloft in their +hands, and their forms bent towards the corpse, their laces indicating +expectation, dread, and horror The female relations of the deceased +nearest his remains, their torches extended in the same direction, their +visages exhibiting the passions of despair and grief in their wildest +characters, but as if arrested by some supernatural object immediately +before their eyes, that produced a new and more awful feeling than +grief. When the body was touched, Frank stood as if himself bound by a +spell to the spot. At length he turned his eyes to the mendicant, who +stood silent and motionless, with the crucifix still extended in his +hand. + +“Are you satisfied now?” said he. + +“That's wanst,” said the pilgrim: “you're to touch it three times.” + +Frank hesitated a moment, but immediately stooped again, and touched it +twice in succession; but it remained still and unchanged as before! His +father broke the silence by a fervent ejaculation of thanksgiving to God +for the vindication of his son's character which he had just witnessed. + +“Now!” exclaimed M'Kenna, in a loud, exulting tone, “you all see that I +did not murdher him!” + +“You did!” said a voice, which was immediately recognized to be that of +the deceased. + +M'Kenna shrieked aloud, and immediately fled with his gun towards +the mountains, pursued by Reillaghan's other son. The crowd rushed +in towards the body, whilst sorrow, affright, exultation, and wonder, +marked the extraordinary scene which ensued. + +“Queen o' Heaven!” exclaimed old M'Kenna, “who could believe this only +they hard it?” + +“The murdher wouldn't lie?” shrieked out Mrs. Reillaghan--“the murdher +wouldn't lie!--the blood o' my darlin' son spoke it!--his blood spoke +it; or God, or his angel, spoke it for him!” + +“It's beyant anything ever known!” some exclaimed, “to come back an' +tell the deed upon his murdherer! God presarve us, an' save us, this +night! I wish we wor at home out o' this wild place!” + +Others said they had heard of such things; but this having happened +before their own eyes, surpassed anything that could be conceived. + +The mendicant now advanced, and once more mysteriously held up his +crucifix. + +“Keep silence!” said he, in a solemn, sonorous voice: “Keep silence, +I say, an' kneel I down all o' yez before what I've in my hand. If you +want to know who or what the voice came from, I can tell yez:--it was +the crucifix THAT SPOKE!!” + +This communication was received with a feeling of devotion too deep for +words. His injunction was instantly complied with: they knelt, and bent +down in worship before it in the mountain wilds. + +“Ay,” said he, “little ye know the virtues of that crucifix! It was +consecrated by a friar so holy that it was well known there was but the +shadow of him upon the earth, the other part of him bein' night an' day +in heaven among the archangels. It shows the power of this Crass, any +way; an you may tell your frinds, that I'll sell bades touched wid it +to the faithful at sixpence apiece. They can be put an your padareens as +Dicades, wid a blessin'. Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin! Let us now bear +the corpse home, antil it's dressed and laid out dacently as it ought to +be.” + +The body was then placed upon an easy litter, formed of great-coats +buttoned together, and supported by the strongest men present, who held +it one or two at each corner. In this manner they advanced at a slow +pace, until they reached Owen Reillaghan's house, where they found +several of the country-people assembled, waiting for their return. + +It was not until the body had been placed in an inner room, where none +were admitted until it should be laid out, that the members of the +family first noticed the prolonged absence of Reillaghan's other son. +The moment it had been alluded to, they were seized with new alarm and +consternation. + +“_Hanim an diouol!_” said Reillaghan, bitterly, in Irish, “but I doubt +the red-handed villain has cut short the lives of my two brave sons! +I only hope he may stop in the country: I'm not widout friends an' +followers that 'ud think it no sin in a just cause to pay him in his own +coin, an' to take from him an' his a pound o' blood for every ounce of +ours they shed.” + +A number of his friends instantly volunteered to retrace their way to +the mountains, and search for the other son. “There's little danger +of his life,” said a relation; “it's a short time Frank 'ud stand him +particularly as the gun wasn't charged. We'll go, at any rate, for +'fraid he might lose himself in the mountains, or walk into some o' the +lochs on his way home. We had as good bring some whiskey wid us, for he +may want it badly.” + +While they had been speaking, however, the snow began to fall and the +wind to blow in a manner that promised a heavy and violent storm. They +proceeded, notwithstanding, on their search, and on whistling for the +dog, discovered that he was not to be found. + +“He went wid us to the mountains, I know,” said the former speaker; “an' +I think it likely he'll be found wid Owen, wherever he is. Come, boys, +step out: it's a dismal night, any way, the Lord knows. + +“Och, och!” And with sorrowful but vigorous steps they went in quest of +the missing brother. + +Nothing but the preternatural character of the words which Were so +mysteriously pronounced immediately before Owen's pursuit of M'Kenna, +could have prevented that circumstance, together with the flight of the +latter, from exciting greater attention among the crowd. His absence, +however, now that they had time to reflect on it, produced unusual +alarm, not only on account of M'Kenna's bad character, but from the +apprehension of Owen being lost in the mountains. + +The inextinguishable determination of revenge with which an Irishman +pursues any person who, either directly or indirectly, takes the life +of a near relation, or invades the peace of his domestic affections, +was strongly illustrated by the nature of Owen's pursuit after M'Kenna, +considering the appalling circumstances under which he undertook it. It +is certainly more than probable that M'Kenna, instead of flying would +have defended himself with the loaded gun, had not his superstitious +fears been excited by the words which so mysteriously charged him with +the murder. The direction he accidentally took led both himself and his +pursuer into the wildest recesses of the mountains. The chase was close +and desperate, and certainly might have been fatal to Reillaghan, had +M'Kenna thought of using the gun. His terror, however, exhausted him, +and overcame his presence of mind to such a degree, that so far from +using the weapon in his defence, he threw it aside, in order to gain +ground upon his pursuer. This he did but slowly, and the pursuit was as +yet uncertain. At length Owen found the distance between himself and his +brother's murderer increasing; the night was dark, and he himself feeble +and breathless: he therefore gave over all hope of securing him, and +returned to follow those who had accompanied him to the spot where his +brother's body lay. It was when retracing his path that the nature of +his situation occurred to him: the snow had not began to fall, but the +appearance of the sky was strongly calculated to depress him. + +Every person knows with what remarkable suddenness snow storms descend. +He had scarcely advanced homewards more than twenty minutes, when the +gray tempest spread its dusky wings over the heavens, and a darker shade +rapidly settled upon the white hills--now becoming indistinct in the +gloom of the air, which was all in commotion, and groaned aloud with the +noise of the advancing storm. When he saw the deep gloom, and felt the +chilling coldness pierce his flesh so bitterly, he turned himself in the +direction which led by the shortest possible line towards his father's +house. He was at this time nearly three miles from any human habitation; +and as he looked into the darkness, his heart began to palpitate with an +alarm almost bordering on hopelessness. His dog, which had, up till +this boding' change, gone on before him, now partook in his master's +apprehensions, and trotted anxiously at his feet. + +In the meantime the winds howled in a melancholy manner along the +mountains, and carried with them from the upper clouds the rapidly +descending sleet. The storm-current, too, was against him, and as the +air began to work in dark confusion, he felt for the first time how +utterly helpless a thing he was under the fierce tempest in this +dreadful solitude. + +A length the rushing sound which he first heard in the distance +approached him in all its terrors; and in a short time he was +staggering, like a drunken man, under the incessant drifts which +swept over him and about him. Nothing could exceed the horrors of the +atmosphere at this moment. From the surface of the earth the whirlwinds +swept immense snow-clouds that rose up instantaneously, and shot off +along the brows and ravines of the solitary wild, sometimes descending +into the valleys, and again rushing up the almost perpendicular sides +of the mountains, with a speed, strength, and noise, that mocked +at everything possessing life; whilst in the air the tumult and the +darkness continued to deepen in the most awful manner. The winds seemed +to meet from every point of the compass, and the falling drifts flew +backward and forward in every direction; the cold became intense, and +Owen's efforts to advance homewards were beginning to fail. He was +driven about like an autumn leaf, and his dog, which kept close to him, +had nearly equal difficulty in proceeding. No sound but that of the +tempest could now be heard, except the screaming of the birds as they +were tossed on sidewing through the commotion which prevailed. In this +manner was Owen whirled about, till he lost all knowledge of his local +situation, being ignorant whether he advanced towards home or otherwise, +His mouth and eyes were almost filled with driving sleet; sometimes a' +cloud of light sandlike drift would almost bury him, as it crossed, or +followed, or opposed his path; sometimes he would sink to the middle in +a snow-wreath, from which he extricated himself with great difficulty; +and among the many terrors by which he was beset, that of walking into +a lake, or over a precipice, was not the least paralyzing. Owen was a +young man of great personal strength and activity, for the possession +of which, next to his brother, he had been distinguished among his +companions; but he now became totally exhausted; the chase after +M'Kenna, his former exertion, his struggles, his repeated falls, his +powerful attempts to get into the vicinity of life, the desperate +strength he put forth in breaking through the vortex of the whirlwind, +all had left him faint, and completely at the mercy of the elements. + +The cold sleet scales were now frozen to ice on his cheeks; his clothes +were completely incrusted with the hard snow, which had been beating +into them by the strength of the blast, and his joints were getting +stiff and benumbed. The tumult of the tempest, the whirling of the +snow-clouds, and the thick snow, now falling, and again tossed upwards +by sudden gusts to the sky, deprived him of all power of reflection, +and rendered him, though not altogether blind or deaf, yet incapable of +forming any distinct opinion upon what he saw or heard. Still, actuated +by the unconscious principle of self preservation, he tottered on, cold, +feeble, and breathless, now driven back like a reed by the strong rush +of the storm, or prostrated almost to suffocation under the whirlwinds, +that started up like savage creatures of life about him. + +During all this time his faithful dog never abandoned him; but his wild +bowlings only heightened the horrors of his situation. When he fell, the +affectionate creature would catch the flap of his coat, or his arm, +in his teeth, and attempt to raise him; and as long as his master had +presence of mind, with the unerring certainty of instinct, he would turn +him, when taking a wrong direction, into that which led homewards. + +Owen was not, however, reduced to this state without experiencing +sensations of which no language could convey adequate notions. At first +he struggled heroically with the storm; but when utter darkness threw +its impervious shades over the desolation around him, and the fury of +the elements grew so tremendous, all the strong propensities to life +became roused, the convulsive throes of a young heart on the steep of +death threw a wild and corresponding energy into his vigorous frame, +and occasioned him to cling to existence with a tenacity rendered still +stronger by the terrible consciousness of his unprepared state, and the +horror of being plunged into eternity unsupported by the rites of his +church, whilst the crime of attempting to take away human life lay +on his soul. Those domestic affections, too, which in Irishmen are +so strong, became excited; his home, his fireside, the faces of his +kindred, already impressed with affliction for the death of one brother, +were conjured up in the powerful imagery of natural feeling, the +fountains of which were opened in his heart, and his agonizing cry for +life rose wildly from the mountain desert upon the voice of the tempest. +Then, indeed, when the gulf of a twofold death yawned before him, +did the struggling spirit send up its shrieking prayer to heaven with +desperate impulse. These struggles, however, as well as those of the +body, became gradually weaker as the storm tossed him about, and with +the chill of its breath withered him into total helplessness. He reeled +on, stiff and insensible, without knowing whither he went, falling with +every blast, and possessing scarcely any faculty of life except mere +animation. + +After about an hour, however, the storm subsided, and the clouds broke +away into light, fleecy columns before the wind; the air, too, became +less cold, and the face of nature more visible. The driving sleet and +hard, granular snow now ceased to fall; but were succeeded by large +feathery flakes, that descended slowly upon the still air. + +Had this trying scene lasted much longer, Owen must soon have been a +stiffened corpse. The child-like strength, however, which just enabled +him to bear up without sinking in despair to die, now supported him +when there was less demand for energy. The dog, too, by rubbing itself +against him, and licking his face, enabled him, by a last effort, +to recollect himself, so as to have a glimmering perception of his +situation. His confidence returned, and with a greater degree of +strength. He shook, as well as he could, the snow from his 'clothes, +where it had accumulated heavily, and felt himself able to proceed, +slowly, it is true, towards his father's house, which he had nearly +reached when he met his friends, who were once: more hurrying out to +the mountains in quest of him, having been compelled to return in +consequence of the storm, when they had I first set out. The whiskey, +their companionship, and their assistance soon revived him. One or two +were despatched home before them, to apprise the afflicted family of +his safety; and the intelligence was hailed with melancholy joy by the +Reillaghans. A faint light played for a moment over the gloom Which had +settled among them, but it was brief; for on ascertaining the safety +of their second son, their grief rushed back with renewed violence, and +nothing could be heard but the voice of sorrow and affliction. + +Darby More, who had assumed the control of the family, did everything +in his power to console them; his efforts, however, were viewed with a +feeling little short of indignation. + +“Darby,” said the afflicted mother, “you have, undher God, in some +sense, my fair son's death to account for. You had a dhrame, but you +wouldn't tell it to us. If you had, my boy might be livin' this day, for +it would be asy for him to be an his guard.” + +“Musha, poor woman,” replied Darby, “sure you don't know, you afflicted +crathur, what you're spakin' about. Tell my dhrame! Why, thin, it's +myself towld it to him from beginning to ind, and that whin we wor goin' +to mass this day itself. I desired him, on the paril of his life, not to +go out a tracin' or toards the mountains, good or bad.” + +“You said you had a prayer that 'ud keep it back,” observed the mother, +“an' why didn't you say it?” + +“I did say it,” replied Darby, “an' that afore a bit crassed my throath +this mornin'; but, you see, he broke his promise of not goin' to the +mountains, an' that was what made the dhrame come thrue.” + +“Well, well, Darby, I beg your pardon, an' God's pardon, for judgin' you +in the wrong. Oh, wurrah sthrue! my brave son, is it there you're lyin' +wid us, avourneen machree!” and she again renewed her grief. + +“Oh, thin, I'm sure I forgive you,” said Darby: “but keep your grief in +for a start, till I say the _De Prowhinjis_ over him, for the pace an' +repose of his sowl. Kneel down all of yez.” + +He repeated this prayer in language which it would require one of Edward +Irving's adepts in the Unknown Tongues to interpret. When he had recited +about half of it, Owen, and those who had gone to seek him, entered the +house, and after the example of the others, reverently knelt down until +he finished it. + +Owen's appearance once more renewed their grief. The body of his brother +had been removed to a bed beyond the fire in the kitchen; and when Owen +looked upon the features of his beloved companion, he approached, and +stooped down to kiss his lips. He was still too feeble, however, to bend +by his own strength; and it is also probable that the warm air of the +house relaxed him. Be this, however, as it may, he fell forward, but +supported himself by his hands, which were placed upon the body; a deep +groan was heard, and the apparently dead man opened his eyes, and feebly +exclaimed--“A dhrink? a dhrink!” + +Darby More, had, on concluding the _De profundus_, seated himself beside +the bed on which Mike lay; but on hearing the groan, and the call for +drink, he leaped rapidly to: his legs and exclaimed, “My sowl to hell +an' the divil, Owen Reillaghan, but your son's alive!! Off wid two or +three of yez, as the divil can dhrive yez, for the priest an' docthor!! +Off wid yez! ye damned spalpeens, aren't ye near there by this! Give +us my cant! Are yez gone? Oh, by this and by that--hell--eh--aren't +yez--” But ere he could finish the sentence, they had set chit. + +“Now,” he exclaimed in a voice whose tremendous tones were strongly +at variance with his own injunctions--“Now, neighbors, d--n yez, keep +silence. Mrs. Reillaghan, get a bottle of whiskey an' a mug o' wather. +Make haste. Hanim an diouol! don't be all night!” + +The poor mother, however, could not stir; the unexpected revulsion of +feeling which she had so suddenly experienced was more than she could +sustain. A long fainting-fit! was the consequence, and Darby's commands +were obeyed by the wife of a friendly neighbor. + +The mendicant immediately wetted Mike's lips, and poured some spirits, +copiously diluted with water, down his throat; after which he held the +whiskey-bottle, like a connoisseur, between himself and the light. “I +hope,” said he, “this whiskey is the raal crathur.” He put the bottle to +his mouth as he spoke, and on holding it a second time before his eye, +he shook his head complacently--“Ay,” said he, “if anything could bring +the dead back to this world, my sowl to glory, but that would. Oh, thin, +it would give the dead life, sure enough!” He put it once more to +his lips, from which it was not separated without relinquishing a +considerable portion of its contents. + +“Dhea Grashthias!” he exclaimed; “throth, I find myself, the betther o' +that sup, in regard that it's good for this touch 'o' configuration that +I'm throubled wid inwardly! Doxis Doxis Glorioxis? Amin!” These words he +spoke in a low, placid voice, lest the wounded man might be discomposed +by his observations. + +The rapidity with which the account of Mike's restoration to life spread +among the neighbors was surprising. Those who had gone for the priest +and doctor communicated to all they met, and these again to others: +that in a short time the house was surrounded by great numbers of their +acquaintances, all anxious to hear the particulars more minutely. + +Darby, who never omitted an opportunity of impressing the people with a +belief in his own sanctity, and in that of his crucifix came out among +them, and answered their inquiries by a solemn shake of his head, and +a mysterious indication of his finger to the crucifix, but said nothing +more. This was enough. The murmur of reverence and wonder spread among +them, and ere long there were few present who did not believe that +Reillaghan had been restored to life by a touch of Darby's crucifix; an +opinion which is not wholly exploded until this day. + +Peggy Gartland, who fortunately had not heard the report of her lover's +death until it was contradicted by the account of his revival, now +entered, and by her pale countenance betrayed strong symptoms of +affection and sympathy. She sat by his side, gazing mournfully on his +features, and with difficulty suppressed her tears. + +For some time before her arrival, the mother and sisters of Mike had +been removed to another room, lest the tumultuous expression of their +mingled joy and sorrow might disturb him. The fair, artless girl, +although satisfied that he still lived, entertained no hopes of his +recovery; but she ventured, in a low, trembling voice, to inquire from +Darby some particulars of the melancholy transaction which was likely to +deprive her of her betrothed husband. + +“Where did the shot sthrike him, Darby?” + +“Clane through the body, avillish; jist where Captain Cramer was shot +at the battle o' Bunker's Hill, where he lay as good as dead for twelve +hours, and was near bein' berried a corp, an' him alive all the time, +only that as they were pullin' him off o' the cart, he gev a shout, an' +thin, a colleen dhas, they began to think he might be livin' still. Sure +enough, he was, too, an' lived successfully, till he died wid dhrinkin' +brandy, as a cure for the gout; the Lord be praised!” + +“Where's the villain, Darby?” + +“He's in the mountains, no doubt, where he had thim to fight wid that's +a match for him--God, an' the dark storm that fell awhile agone. They'll +pay him, never fear, for his thrachery to the noble boy that chastised +him for your sake, acushla oge! (* my young pulse) sthrong was your +hand, a Veehal, an' ginerous was your affectionate heart; an' well you +loved the fair girl that's sitting beside you! Throth, Peggy, my heart's +black with sarrow about the darlin' young man. Still, life's in him; an' +while there's life there's hope; glory be to God!” + +The eulogium of the pilgrim, who was, in truth, much attached to Mike, +moved the heart of the affectionate girl, whose love and sympathy were +pure as the dew on the grass-blade, and now as easily affected by the +slightest touch. She remained silent for a time, but secretly glided +her hand towards that of her lover, which she clasped in hers, and by a +gentle and timid pressure, strove to intimate to him that she was beside +him. Long, but unavailing, was the struggle to repress her sorrow; her +bosom heaved; she gave two or three loud sobs, and burst into tears and +lamentations. + +“Don't cry, avourneen,” whispered Darby--“Don't cry; I'll warrant you +that Darby More will ate share of your weddin' dinner an' his, yit. +There's a small taste of color comin' to his face, which, I think, +undher God, is owin' to my touchin' him wid the cruciwhix. Don't cry, a +colleen, he'll get over it an' more than it, yit, a colleen bawn!” + +Darby then hurried her into the room where Mike's mother and sisters +were. On entering she threw herself into the arms of the former, laid +her face on her bosom, and wept bitterly. This renewed the mother's +grief: she clasped the interesting girl in a sorrowful embrace; so did +his sisters. They threw themselves into each other's arms, and poured +forth those touching, but wild bursts of pathetic language, which are +always heard when the heart is struck by some desolating calamity. + +“Husht!” said a neighboring man who was present; “husht! it's a shame +for yez, an' the boy not dead yit.” + +“I'm not ashamed,” said Peggy: “why should I be ashamed of bein' sarry +for the likes of Mike Reillaghan? Where was his aquil? Wasn't all hearts +upon him? Didn't the very poor on the road bless him whin he passed? +Who ever had a bad word agin him, but the villain that murdhered him? +Murdhered him! Heaven above! an' why? For my sake! For my sake the pride +of the parish is laid low! Ashamed! Is it for cryin' for my betrothed +husband, that was sworn to me, an' I to him, before the eye of God +above us? This day week I was to be his bride; an' now--now--Oh, Vread +Reillaghan, take me to you! Let me go to his mother! My heart's broke, +Vread Reillaghan! Let me go to her: nobody's grief for him is like ours. +You're his mother, an' I'm his wife in the sight o' God. Proud was I out +of him: my eyes brightened when they seen him, an' my heart got light +when I heard his voice; an' now, what's afore me?--what's afore me but +sorrowful days an' a broken heart!” + +Mrs. Reillaghan placed her tenderly and affectionately beside her, on +the bed whereon she herself sat. With the corner of her handkerchief she +wiped the tears from the weeping girl, although her own flowed fast. +Her daughters, also, gathered about her, and in language of the most +endearing kind, endeavored to soothe and console her. + +“He may live yet, Peggy, avourheen,” said his mother; “my brave and +noble son may live yet, an' you may be both,happy! Don't be cryin' so +much, _asthore galh machree_ (* The beloved white (girl) of my heart); +sure he's in the hands o' God avourneen; an' your young heart won't +be broke, I hope. Och, the Lord pity her young feelins!” exclaimed +the mother affected even by the consolation she herself offered to the +betrothed bride of her son: “is it any whundher she'd sink undher sich a +blow! for, sure enough, where was the likes of him? No, asthore; it's no +wondher--it's no wondher! lonesome will your heart be widout him; for I +know what he'd feel if a hair of your head was injured.” + + + +“Oh, I know it--I know it! There was music in his voice, an' grah and. +kindness to every crathur on God's earth; but to me--to me--oh, no +one knew his love to me, but myself an' God. Oh, if I was dead, that +I couldn't feel this, or if my life could save his! Why didn't the +villain,--the black villain, wid God's curse upon him--why didn't he +shoot me, thin I could never be Mike's wife, an' his hand o' murdher +might be satisfied? If he had, I wouldn't feel as I do. Ay! the warmest, +an' the best, an' the dearest blood of my heart, I could shed for +him. That heart was his, an' he had a right to it. Our love wasn't of +yistherday: afore the links of my hair came to my showldhers I loved +him, an' thought of him; an many a time he tould me that I was his +first! God knows he was my first, an' he will be my last, let him live +or die.” + +“Well, but, Peggy achora,” said his sister, “maybe it's sinful to be +cryin' this way, an' he not dead.” + +“God forgive me, if it's a sin,” replied Peggy; “I'd not wish to do +anything sinful or displasin' to God; an' I'll sthrive to keep down my +grief: I will, as well as I can.” + +She put her hands on her face, and by all effort of firmness, subdued +the tone of her grief to a low, continuous murmur of sorrow. + +“An' along wid that,” said the sister, “maybe the noise is disturbin' +him. Darby put us all out o' the kitchen to have pace an' quietness +about him.” + +“An' 'twas well thought o' Darby,” she replied; “an' may the blessin' o' +God rest upon him for it! A male's mate or a nights lodgin' he'll never +want under my father's roof for that goodness to him. I'll be quiet.” + +There was now a short pause, during which those in the room heard a +smack, accompanied by the words, “Dheah. Grashthias! throth I'm +the betther o' that sup, so I am. Nothin' keeps this thief of a +configuration down but it. Dheah Grashthias for that! Oh, thin, this is +the stuff! It warms the body to the top o' the nails!” + +“Don't spare it, Darby,” said old Reillaghan, “if it does you good.” + +“Avourneen,” said Darby, “it's only what gives me a little relief I ever +take, jist by way of cure, for it's the only thing does me good, when I +am this-a-way.” + +Several persons in the neighborhood were, in the mean time, flocking to +Reillaghan's house. A worthy man, accompanied by his wife, entered as +the pilgrim had concluded. The woman, in accordance with the custom of +the country, raised the Irish cry, in a loud melancholy wail, that might +be heard at a great distance. + +Darby, who prided himself on maintaining silence, could not preserve the +consistency of his character upon this occasion, any more than on that +of Mike's recent symptoms of life. + +“Your sowl to the divil, you faggot!” he exclaimed, “what do you mane? +The divil whip the tongue out o' you! are you going to come here only +to disturb the boy that's not dead yet? Get out o' this, an' be asy wid +your skhreechin', or by the crass that died for us, only you're a woman, +I'd tumble you wid a lick o' my cant. Keep asy, you vagrant, an' the +dacent boy not dead yet. Hell bellows you, what do you mane?” + +“Not dead!” exclaimed the woman, with her body bent in the proper +attitude, her hands extended, and the crying face turned with amazement +to Darby. “Not dead! Wurrah, man alive, isn't he murdhered?” + +“Hell resave the matther for that!” replied Darby. “I tell you he's +livin' an' will live I hope, barrin' your skirlin' dhrives the life +that's in him out of him. Go into the room there to the women, an' +make yourself scarce out o' this, or by the padareens about me, I'll +malivogue you.” + +“We can't be angry wid the dacent woman,” observed old Reillaghan, “in +regard that she came to show her friendship and respect.” + +“I'd be angry wid St. Pettier,” said Darby, “an' 'ud not scruple to give +him a lick o' my c---- Lord presarve us! what was I goin' o say! Why, +throth, I believe the little wits I had are all gone a shaughran! I +must fast a Friday or two for the same words agin St. Pether. Oxis Doxis +Glorioxis--Amin.” + +Hope is strong in love and in life. Peggy, now that grief had eased her +heart of its load of accumulated sorrow, began to reflect upon Darby's +anecdote of Captain Cramer, which she related to those about her. They +all rejoiced to hear that it was possible to be wounded so severely and +live. They also consoled and supported each other, and expressed their +trust that Mike might also recover. The opinion of the doctor was waited +for with such anxiety as a felon feels when the foreman of the jury +hands down the verdict which consigns him to life or death. + +Whether Darby's prescription was the result of chance or sagacity we +know not. We are bound, however, to declare that Reillaghan's strength +was in some degree restored, although the pain he suffered amounted to +torture. The surgeon (who was also a physician, and, moreover, supplied +his own medicines) and the priest, as they lived in the same town, both +arrived together. The latter administered the rites of his church to +him; and the former, who was a skilful man, left nothing undone to +accomplish his restoration to health. He had been shot through the body +with a bullet--a circumstance which was not known until the arrival of +the surgeon. This gentlemen expressed much astonishment at his surviving +the wound, but said that circumstances of a similar nature had occurred, +particularly on the field of battle, although he admitted that they were +few. + +Darby, however, who resolved to have something like a decided opinion +from him, without at all considering whether such a thing was possible, +pressed him strongly upon the point. + +“Arrah, blur-an-age, Docthor Swither, say one thing or other. Is he to +live or die? Plain talk, Docthor, is all we want, an' no _feasthalagh_ +(* nonsense).” + +“The bullet, I am inclined to think,” replied the Doctor, “must either +not have touched a vital part, or touched it only slightly. I have known +cases similar, it is true; but it is impossible for me to pronounce a +decisive opinion upon him just now.” + +“The divil resave the _yarrib_* ever I'll gather for you agin, so long +as my name's Darby More, except you say either 'life' or 'death,'” said +Darby, who forgot his character of sanctity altogether. + + * Herb-Men of Darby's cast were often in the habit of + collecting rare medicinal plants for the apothecaries; + and not bad botanists some of them were. + +“Darby, achora,” said Mrs. Reillaghan, “don't crass the gintleman, an' +him sthrivin' to do his best. Here, Paddy Gormly, bring some wather till +the docthor washes his hands.” + +“Darby,” replied the Doctor, to whom he was well known, “you are a good +herbalist, but even although you should not serve me as usual in that +capacity, yet I cannot say exactly either life or death. The case is too +critical a one; but I do not despair, Darby, if that will satisfy you.” + +“More power to you, Docthor, achora. Hell-an-age, where's that bottle? +bring it here. Thank you, Vread. Docthor, here's wishin' you +all happiness, an' may you set Mike on his legs wanst more! See, +Docthor--see, man alive--look at this purty girl here, wid her wet +cheeks; give her some hope, ahagur, if you can; keep the crathur's +spirits up, an' I'll furnish you wid every yarrib in Europe, from the +nettle to the rose.” + +“Don't despair, my good girl,” said the Doctor, addressing Peggy. “I +hope, I trust, that he may recover; but he must be kept easy and quiet.” + +“May the blessing of God, sir, light down on you for the same words,” + replied Peggy, in a voice tremulous, with gratitude and joy. + +“Are you done wid him, Docthor?” said old Reillaghan. + +“At present,” replied the Doctor, “I can do nothing more for him; but I +shall see him early to-morrow morning.” + +“Bekase, sir,” continued the worthy man, “here's Darby More, who's +afflicted with a comflamboration, or some sich thing, inwardly, an' if +you should ase him, sir, I'd pay the damages, whatever they might be.” + +The Doctor smiled slightly. “Darby's complaint,” said he, “is beyond +my practice; there is but one cure for it, and that is, if I have +any skill, a little of what's in the bottle here, taken, as our +prescriptions sometimes say, 'when the patient is inclined for it.'” + +“By my sou--sanctity, Docthor,” said Darby, “you're a man of skill, any +how, an' that's well known, sir. Nothin', as Father Hoolaghan says, but +the sup of whiskey does this sarra of a configuration good. It rises the +wind off o' my stomach, Docthor!” + +“It does, Darby, it does. Now let all be peace and quietness,” continued +the Doctor: “take away a great part of this fire, and don't attempt +to remove him to any other bed until I desire you. I shall call again +tomorrow morning early.” + +The Doctor's attention to his patient was unremitting; everything that +human skill, joined to long experience and natural talent, could do to +restore the young man to his family was done; and in the course of a +few weeks the friends of Keillaghan had the satisfaction of seeing him +completely out of danger. + +Mike declared, after his recovery, that though incapable of motion on +the mountains, he was not altogether insensible to what passed around +him. The loud tones of their conversation he could hear. The oath which +young M'Kenna uttered in a voice so wild and exalted, fell clearly on +his ear, and he endeavored to contradict it, in order that he might be +secured and punished in the event of his death. He also said; that the +pain he suffered in the act of being conveyed home, occasioned him to +groan feebly; but that the sobs, and cries, and loud conversation of +those who surrounded him, prevented his moans from being heard. It is +probable, after all, that were it not for the accidental fall of Owen +upon his body, he might not have survived the wound, inasmuch as the +medical skill, which contributed to restore him, would not have been +called in. + +Though old Frank M'Kenna and his family felt an oppressive load of +misery taken off their hearts by the prospect of Reillaghan's recovery, +yet it was impossible for them to be insensible to the fate of their +son, knowing as they did, that he must have been out among the mountains +during the storm. His unhappy mother and Rody sat up the whole night, +expecting his return, but morning arrived without bringing him home. +For six days afterwards the search for him was general and strict; his +friends and neighbors traversed the mountain wastes until they left +scarcely an acre of them unexplored. On the sixth day there came a thaw, +and towards the close of the seventh he was found a “stiffened corpse,” + _upon the very spot where he had shot his rival_, and on which he had +challenged the Almighty to stretch him in death, without priest or +prayer, if he were guilty of the crime with which he had been charged. +He was found lying with a, circle drawn round him, his head pillowed +upon the innocent blood which he had shed with the intention of murder, +and a bloody cross marked upon his breast and forehead. It was thought +that in the dread of approaching death he had formed it with his hand, +which came accidentally in contact with the blood that lay in clots +about him. + +[Illustration: PAGE 886-- Upon the very spot where he had shot his +rival] + +The manner of his death excited a profound and wholesome feeling among +the people, with respect to the crime which he attempted to commit. The +circumstances attending it, and his oath upon the spot where he shot +Reillaghan, are still spoken of by the fathers of the neighboring +villages, and even by some who were present at the search for his body, +it was also doubly remarkable on account of a case of spectral illusion +which it produced, and which was ascribed to the effect of M'Kenna's +supernatural appearance at the time. The daughter of a herdsman in the +mountains was strongly affected by the spectacle of his dead body borne +past her father's door. In about a fortnight afterwards she assured +her family that he appeared to her. She saw the apparition, in the +beginning, only at night; but ere long it ventured, as she imagined, +to appear in day-light. Many imaginary conversations took place between +them; and the fact of the peasantry flocking to the herd's house to +satisfy themselves as to the truth of the rumor, is yet well remembered +in the parish. It, was also affirmed, that as the funeral of M'Kenna +passed to the churchyard, a hare crossed it, which some one present +struck on the side with a stone. The hare, says the tradition, was not +injured, but the sound of the stroke resembled that produced on striking +an empty barrel. + +We have nearly wound up our story, in which we have feebly endeavored to +illustrate scenes that were, some time ago, not unusual in Irish life. +There is little more to be added, except that Mike Reillaghan almost +miraculously recovered; that he and Peggy Gartland were happily married, +and that Darby More lost his character as a dreamer in that parish, +Mike, with whom, however, he still continued a favorite, used frequently +to allude to the speaking crucifix, the dream aforesaid, and his bit +of fiction, in assuring his mother that he had dissuaded him against +“tracing” on that eventful day. + +“Well, avourneen,” Darby would exclaim, “the holiest of us has our +failins; but, in throth, the truth of it is, that myself didn't know +what I was sayin', I was so _through other_ (* agitated); for I renumber +that I was badly afflicted with this thief of a configuration inwardly +at the time. That, you see, and your own throubles, put my mind +ashanghran for 'a start. But, upon my sanctity,--an' sure that's a +great oath wid me--only for the Holy Carol you bought from me the night +before, an' above all touchin' you wid the blessed Cruciwhix, you'd +never a' got over the same accident. Oh, you may smile an' shake your +head, but it's thruth whether or not! Glory be to God!” + +The priest of the parish, on ascertaining correctly the incidents +mentioned in this sketch, determined to deprive the people of at least +one pretext for their follies. He represented the abuses connected with +such a ceremony to the bishop; and from that night to the present +time, the inhabitants of Kilnaheery never had, in their own parish, an +opportunity of hearing a Midnight Mass. + + + + + + +THE DONAGH; OR, THE HORSE STEALERS. + + +Carnmore, one of those small villages that are to be found in the +outskirts of many parishes in Ireland, whose distinct boundaries are +lost in the contiguous mountain-wastes, was situated at the foot of a +deep gorge or pass, overhung by two bleak hills, from the naked sides of +which the storm swept over it, without discomposing the peaceful little +nook of cabins that stood below. About a furlong farther down were +two or three farm-houses, inhabited by a family named Cassidy, men +of simple, inoffensive manners, and considerable wealth. They were, +however, acute and wise in their generation; intelligent cattle-dealers, +on whom it would have been a matter of some difficulty to impose an +unsound horse, or a cow older than was intimated by her horn-rings, even +when conscientiously dressed up for sale by the ingenious aid of the +file or burning-iron. Between their houses and the hamlet rose a conical +pile of rocks, loosely leaped together, from which the place took its +name of Carnmore. + +About three years before the time of this story, there came two men with +their families to reside in the upper village, and the house which they +chose as a residence was one at some distance from those which composed +the little group we have just been describing. They said their name was +Meehan, although the general report went, that this was not true; that +the name was an assumed one, and that some dark mystery, which none +could penetrate, shrouded their history and character. They were +certainly remarkable men. The elder, named Anthony, was a dark, +black-browed person, stern in his manner, and atrociously cruel in his +disposition. His form was Herculean, his bones strong and hard as iron, +and his sinews stood out in undeniable evidence of a life hitherto spent +in severe toil and exertion, to bear which he appeared to an amazing +degree capable. His brother Denis was a small man, less savage and +daring in his character, and consequently more vacillating and cautious +than Anthony; for the points in which he resembled him were superinduced +upon his natural disposition by the close connection that subsisted +between them, and by the identity of their former pursuits in life, +which, beyond doubt, had been such as could not bear investigation. + +The old proverb of “birds of a feather flock together,” is certainly a +true one, and in this case it was once more verified. Before the arrival +of these men in the village, there had been two or three bad characters +in the neighborhood, whose delinquencies were pretty well known. With +these persons the strangers, by that sympathy which assimilates with +congenial good or evil, soon became acquainted; and although their +intimacy was as secret and cautious as possible, still it had been +observed, and was known, for they had frequently been seen skulking +together at daybreak, or in the dusk of evening. + +It is unnecessary to say that Meehan and his brother did not mingle much +in the society of Carnmore. In fact, the villagers and they mutually +avoided each other. A mere return of the common phrases of salutation +was generally the most that passed between them; they never entered into +that familiarity which leads to mutual intercourse, and justifies one +neighbor in freely entering the cabin of another, to spend a winter's +night, or a summer's evening, in amusing conversation. Few had ever been +in the house of the Meehans since it became theirs; nor were the means +of their subsistence known. They led an idle life, had no scarcity of +food, were decently clothed, and never wanted money; circumstances which +occasioned no small degree of conjecture in Carnmore and its vicinity. + +Some said they lived by theft; others that they were coiners; and there +were many who imagined, from the diabolical countenance of the older +brother, that he had sold himself to the devil, who, they affirmed, set +his mark upon him, and was his paymaster. Upon this hypothesis several +were ready to prove that he had neither breath nor shadow; they had seen +him, they said, standing under a hedge-row of elder--that unholy +tree which furnished wood for the cross, and on which Judas hanged +himself--yet, although it was noon-day in the month of July, his person +threw out no shadow. Worthy souls! because the man stood in the shade at +the time. But with these simple explanations Superstition had nothing to +do, although we are bound in justice to the reverend old lady to affirm +that she was kept exceedingly busy in Carnmore. If a man had a sick +cow, she was elf-shot; if his child became consumptive, it had been +overlooked, or received a blast from the fairies; if the whooping-cough +was rife, all the afflicted children were put three times under an ass; +or when they happened to have the “mumps,” were led, before sunrise to a +south-running stream, with a halter hanging about their necks, under +an obligation of silence during the ceremony In short, there could +not possibly be a more superstitious spot than that which these men of +mystery had selected for their residence. Another circumstance which +caused the people to look upon them with additional dread, was their +neglect of mass on Sundays and holydays, though they avowed themselves +Roman Catholics. They did not, it is true, join in the dances, +drinking-matches, football, and other sports with which the Carnmore +folk celebrated the Lord's day; but they scrupled not, on the other +hand, to mend their garden-ditch or mould a row of cabbages on the +Sabbath--a circumstance, for which two or three of the Carnmore boys +were, one Sunday evening when tipsy, well-nigh chastising them. Their +usual manner, however, of spending that day was by sauntering lazily +about the fields, or stretching themselves supinely on the sunny side of +the hedges, their arms folded on their bosoms, and their hats lying over +their faces to keep off the sun. + +In the mean time, loss of property was becoming quite common in the +neighborhood. Sheep were stolen from the farmers, and cows and horses +from the more extensive graziers in the parish. The complaints against +the authors of these depredations were loud and incessant: watches were +set, combinations for mutual security formed, and subscriptions to a +considerable amount entered into, with a hope of being able, by the +temptation of a large reward, to work upon the weakness or cupidity +of some accomplice to betray the gang of villains who infested the +neighborhood. All, however, was in vain; every week brought some new act +of plunder to light, perpetrated upon such unsuspecting persons as +had hitherto escaped the notice of the robbers; but no trace could be +discovered of the perpetrators. Although theft had from time to time +been committed upon a small scale before the arrival of the Meehans in +the village, yet it was undeniable that since that period the instances +not only multiplied, but became of a more daring and extensive +description. They arose in a gradual scale, from the henroost to the +stable; and with such ability were they planned and executed, that the +people, who in every instance identified Meehan and his brother with +them, began to believe and hint that, in consequence of their compact +with the devil, they had power to render themselves invisible. Common +Fame, who can best treat such subjects, took up this, and never laid it +aside until, by narrating several exploits which Meehan the elder was +said to have performed in other parts of the kingdom, she wound it up by +roundly informing the Carnmorians, that, having been once taken prisoner +for murder, he was caught by the leg, when half through a hedge, but +that; being most wickedly determined to save his neck, he left the leg +with the officer who took him, shouting out that it was a new species +of leg-bail; and yet he moved away with surprising speed, upon two of as +good legs as any man in his majesty's dominions might wish to walk off +upon, from the insinuating advances of a bailiff or a constable! + +The family of the Meehans consisted of their wives and three children, +two boys and a girl; the former were the offspring of the younger +brother, and the latter of Anthony. It has been observed, with truth and +justice, that there is no man, how hardened and diabolical soever in +his natural temper, who does not exhibit to some particular object +a peculiar species of affection. Such a man was Anthony Meehan. +That sullen hatred which he bore to human society, and that inherent +depravity of heart which left the trail of vice and crime upon his +footsteps, were flung off his character when he addressed his daughter +Anne. To him her voice was like music; to her he was not the reckless +villain, treacherous and cruel, which the helpless and unsuspecting +found him; but a parent kind and indulgent as ever pressed an only and +beloved daughter to his bosom. Anne was handsome: had she been born and +educated in an elevated rank in society, she would have been softened +by the polish and luxury of life into perfect beauty: she was, however, +utterly without education. As Anne experienced from her father no +unnatural cruelty, no harshness, nor even indifference, she consequently +loved him in return; for she knew that tenderness from such a man was a +proof of parental love rarely to be found in life. Perhaps she loved not +her father the less on perceiving that he was proscribed by the world; +a circumstance which might also have enhanced in his eyes the affection +she bore him. When Meehan came to Carnmore, she was sixteen; and, as +that was three years before the incident occurred on which we have +founded this narrative, the reader may now suppose her to be about +nineteen; an interesting country girl, as to person, but with a mind +completely neglected, yet remarkable for an uncommon stock of good +nature and credulity. + +About the hour of eleven o'clock, one winter's night in the beginning of +December, Meehan and his brother sat moodily at their hearth. The fire +was of peat which had recently been put down, and, from between the +turf, the ruddy blaze was shooting out in those little tongues and, +gusts of sober light, which throw around the rural hearth one of those +charms which make up the felicity of domestic life. The night was +stormy, and the wind moaned and howled along the dark hills beneath +which the cottage stood. Every object in the house was shrouded in a +mellow shade, which afforded to the eye no clear outline, except around +the hearth alone, where the light brightened into a golden hue, giving +the idea of calmness and peace. Anthony Meehan sat on one side of it, +and his daughter opposite him, knitting: before the fire sat Denis, +drawing shapes in the ashes for his own amusement. + +“Bless me,” said he, “how sthrange it is!” + +“What is?” inquired Anthony, in his deep and grating tones. + +“Why, thin, it is sthrange!” continued the other, who, despite of the +severity of his brother, was remarkably superstitious--“a coffin I made +in the ashes three times runnin'! Isn't it very quare, Anne?” he added, +addressing the niece. + +“Sthrange enough, of a sartinty,” she replied, being unwilling to +express before her father the alarm which the incident, slight as it +was, created in her mind; for she, like her uncle, was subject to such +ridiculous influences. “How did it happen, uncle?” + +“Why, thin, no way in life, Anne; only, as I was thryin' to make a shoe, +it turned out a coffin on my hands. I thin smoothed the ashes, and began +agin, an' sorra bit of it but was a coffin still. Well, says I, I'll +give you another chance,--here goes one more;--an', as sure as gun's +iron, it was a coffin the third time. Heaven be about us, it's odd +enough!” + +“It would be little matther you were nailed down in a coffin,” replied +Anthony, fiercely; “the world would have little loss. What a pitiful +cowardly rascal you are! Afraid o' your own shadow afther the 'sun goes +down, except I'm at your elbow! Can't you dhrive all them palavers out +o' your head? Didn't the sargint tell us, an' prove to us, the time we +broke the guardhouse, an' took Frinch lave o' the ridgment for good, +that the whole o' that, an' more along wid it, is all priestcraft?” + +“I remimber he did, sure enough: I dunna where the same sargint is now, +Tony? About no good, any way, I'll be bail. Howsomever, in regard o' +that, why doesn't yourself give up fastin' from the mate of a Friday?” + +“Do you want me to sthretch you on the hearth?” replied the savage, +whilst his eyes kindled into fury, and his grim visage darkened into a +satanic expression. “I'll tache you to be puttin' me through my catechiz +about aitin' mate. I may manage that as I plase; it comes at first-cost, +anyhow: but no cross-questions to me about it, if you regard your +health!” + +“I must say for you,” replied Denis, reproachfully, “that you're a good +warrant to put the health astray upon us of an odd start: we're not come +to this time o' day widout carryin' somethin' to remimber you by. For my +own part, Tony, I don't like such tokens; an' moreover, I wish you +had resaved a thrifle o' larnin', espishily in the writin' line; for +whenever we have any difference, you're so ready to prove your opinion +by settin' your mark upon me, that I'd rather, fifty times over, you +could write it with pen an' ink.” + +“My father will give that up, uncle,” said the niece; “it's bad for any +body to be fightin', but worst of all for brothers, that ought to live +in peace and kindness. Won't you, father?” + +“Maybe I will, dear, some o' these days, on your account, Anne; but you +must get this creature of an uncle of yours, to let me alone, an' not +be aggravatin' me with his folly. As for your mother, she's worse; her +tongue's sharp enough to skin a flint, and a batin' a day has little +effect on her.” + +Anne sighed, for she knew how long an irreligious life, and the infamous +society with which, as her father's wife, her mother was compelled to +mingle, had degraded her. + +“Well, but, father, you don't set her a good example yourself,” said +Anne; “and if she scoulds and drinks now, you know she was a different +woman when you got her. You allow this yourself; and the crathur, the +dhrunkest time she is, doesn't she cry bittherly, remimberin' what she +has been. Instead of one batin' a day, father, thry no batin' a day, an' +maybe it 'ill turn out betther than thump-in' an' smashin' her as you +do.” + +“Why, thin, there's truth and sinse in what the girl says, Tony,” + observed Denis. + +“Come,” replied Anthony, “whatever she may say I'll suffer none of your +interference. Go an' get us the black bottle from the place; it'll soon +be time to move. I hope they won't stay too long.” + +Denis obeyed this command with great readiness, for whiskey in some +degree blunted the fierce passions of his brother, and deadened his +cruelty; or rather diverted it from minor objects to those which +occurred in the lawless perpetration of his villany. + +The bottle was got, and in the meantime the fire blazed up brightly; the +storm without, however, did not abate, nor did Meehan and his brother +wish that it should. As the elder of them took the glass from the +hands of the other, an air of savage pleasure blazed in his eyes, on +reflecting that the tempest of the night was favorable to the execution +of the villanous deed on which they were bent. + +“More power to you!” said Anthony, impiously personifying the storm; +“sure that's one proof that God doesn't throuble his head about what +we do, or we would not get such a murdherin' fine night as is in it +any how. That's it! blow and tundher away, an' keep yourself an' us, as +black as hell, sooner than we should fail in what we intend! Anne, your +health, acushla!--Yours, Dinny! If you keep your tongue off o' me, I'll +neither make nor meddle in regard o' the batin' o' you.” + +“I hope you'll stick to that, any how,” replied Denis; “for my part I'm +sick and sore o' you every day in the year. Many another man would +put salt wather between himself and yourself, sooner nor become a +battin'-stone for you, as I have been. Few would bear it, when they +could mend themselves.” + +“What's that you say?” replied Anthony, suddenly laying down his glass, +catching his brother by the collar, and looking him with a murderous +scowl in the face. “Is it thrachery you hint at?--eh? Sarpent, is it +thrachery you mane?” and as he spoke, he compressed Denis's neck between +his powerful hands, until the other was black in the face. + +Anne flew to her uncle's assistance, and with much difficulty succeeded +in rescuing him from the deadly gripe of her father, who exclaimed, as +he loosed his hold, “You may thank the girl, or you'd not spake, +nor dare to spake, about crossin' the salt wather, or lavin' me in a +desateful way agin. If I ever suspect that a thought of thrachery comes +into your heart, I'll do for you; and you may carry your story to the +world I'll send you to.” + +“Father, dear, why are you so suspicious of my uncle?” said Anne; “sure +he's a long time livin' with you, an' goin' step for step in all the +danger you meet with. If he had a mind to turn out a Judas agin you, he +might a done it long agone; not to mintion the throuble it would bring +on his own head seein' he's as deep in everything as you are.” + +“If that's all that's throubling you,” replied Denis, trembling, “you +may make yourself asy on the head of it; but well I know 'tisn't that +that's on your mind; 'tis your own conscience; but sure it's not fair +nor rasonable for you to vent your evil thoughts on me!” + +“Well, he won't,” said Anne, “he'll quit it; his mind's throubled; an', +dear knows, it's no wondher it should. Och, I'd give the world wide that +his conscience was lightened of the load that's upon it! My mother's +lameness is nothin'; but the child, poor thing! An' it was only widin +three days of her lyin'-in. Och, it was a cruel sthroke, father! An' +when I seen its little innocent face, dead an' me widout a brother, I +thought my heart would break, thinkin' upon who did it!” The tears fell +in showers from her eyes, as she added, “Father, I don't want to vex +you; but I wish you to feel sorrow for that at laste. Oh, if you'd bring +the priest, an' give up sich coorses, father dear, how happy we'd be, +an' how happy yourself 'ud be!” + +Conscience for a moment started from her sleep, and uttered a cry of +guilt in his spirit; his face became ghastly, and his eyes full of +horror: his lips quivered, and he' was about to upbraid his daughter +with more harshness than usual, when a low whistle, resembling that of +a curlew, was heard at a chink of the door. In a moment he gulped down +another glass of spirits, and was on his feet: “Go, Denis, an' get the +arms,” said he to his brother, “while I let them in.” + +On opening the door, three men entered, having their great coats muffled +about them, and their hats slouched. One of them, named Kenny, was a +short villain, but of a thick-set, hairy frame. The other was known as +“the Big Mower,” in consequence of his following that employment every +season, and of his great skill in performing it. He had a deep-rooted +objection against permitting the palm of his hand to be seen; a +reluctance which common fame attributed to the fact of his having +received on that part the impress of a hot iron, in the shape of the +letter T, not forgetting to add, that T was the hieroglyphic for Thief. +The villain himself affirmed it was simply the mark of a cross, burned +into it by a blessed friar, as a charm against St. Vitus's dance, +to which he had once been subject. The people, however, were rather +sceptical, not of the friar's power to cure that malady, but of the +fact of his ever having moved a limb under it; and they concluded with +telling him, good-humoredly enough, that notwithstanding the charm, he +was destined to die “wid the threble of it in his toe.” The third was a +noted pedlar called Martin, who, under pretence of selling tape, +pins, scissors, etc., was very useful in setting such premises as this +virtuous fraternity might, without much risk, make a descent upon. + +“I thought yez would out-stay your time,” said the elder Meehan, +relapsing into his determined hardihood of character; “we're ready, +hours agone. Dick Rice gave me two curlew an' two patrich calls to-day. +Now pass the glass among yez, while Denny brings the arms. I know +there's danger in this business, in regard of the Cassidys livin' so +near us. If I see anybody afut, I'll use the curlew call: an' if not, +I'll whistle twice on the patrich (* partridge) one, an' ye may come an. +The horse is worth eighty guineas, if he's worth a shillin'; an' we'll +make sixty off him ourselves.” + +For some time they chatted about the plan in contemplation, and drank +freely of the spirits, until at length the impatience of the elder +Meehan at the delay of his brother became ungovernable. His voice +deepened into tones of savage passion, as he uttered a series of +blasphemous curses against this unfortunate butt of his indignation +and malignity. At length he rushed out furiously to know why he did not +return; but, on reaching a secret excavation in the mound against which +the house was built, he found, to his utter dismay, that Denis had +made his escape by an artificial passage, scooped out of it to secure +themselves a retreat in case of surprise or detection. It opened behind +the house among a clump of black-thorn and brushwood, and wis covered +“with green turf in such a manner as to escape the notice of all who +were not acquainted with the secret. Meehan's face on his return was +worked up into an expression truly awful. + +“We're sould!” said he; “but stop, I'll tache the thraithur what revenge +is!” + +In a moment he awoke his brother's two sons, and dragged them by the +neck, one in each hand, to the hearth. + +“Your villain of a father's off,” said he, “to betray us; go, an' folly +him; bring him back, an' he'll be safe from me: but let him become a +slag agin us, and if I should hunt you both into bowels of the airth, +I'll send yez to a short account. I don't care that,” and he snapped his +fingers--“ha, ha--no, I don't care that for the law; I know how to dale +with it, when it comes! An' what's the stuff about the other world, but +priestcraft and lies!” + +“Maybe,” said the Big Mower, “Denis is gone to get the foreway of us, +an' to take the horse himself. Our best plan is to lose no time, at all +events; so let us hurry, for fraid the night might happen to clear up.” + +“He!” said Meehan, “he go alone! No; the miserable wretch is afeard +of his own shadow. I only wondher he stuck to me so long: but sure he +wouldn't, only I bate the courage in, and the fear out of him. You're +right, Brian,” said he upon reflection, “let us lose no time, but be +off. Do ye mind?” he added to his nephews; “Did ye hear me? If you see +him, let him come back, an' all will be berrid; but, if he doesn't, you +know your fate!” Saying which, he and his accomplices departed amid the +howling of the storm. + +The next morning, Carnmore, and indeed the whole parish, was in an +uproar; a horse, worth eighty guineas, had been stolen in the most +daring manner from the Cassidys, and the hue-and-cry was up after the +thief or thieves who took him. For several days the search was closely +maintained, but without success; not the slightest trace could be found +of him or them. The Cassidys could very well bear to lose him; but there +were many struggling farmers, on whose property serious depredations +had been committed, who could not sustain their loss so easily. It was +natural under these circumstances that suspicion should attach to many +persons, some of whom had but indifferent characters before as well as +to several who certainly had never deserved suspicion. When a fortnight +or so had elapsed, and no circumstances transpired that might lead to +discovery, the neighbors, including those who had principally suffered +by the robberies, determined to assemble upon a certain day at +Cassidy's house, for the purpose of clearing themselves, on oath, of +the imputation thrown out against some of them, as accomplices in the +thefts. In order, however, that the ceremony should be performed as +solemnly as possible, they determined to send for Father Farrell, and +Mr. Nicholson, a magistrate, both of whom they requested to undertake +the task of jointly presiding upon this occasion; and, that the +circumstance should have every publicity, it was announced from the +altar by the priest, on the preceding Sabbath, and published on the +church-gate in large legible characters ingeniously printed with a pen +by the village schoolmaster. + +In fact, the intended meeting, and the object of it, were already +notorious; and much conversation was held upon its probable result, and +the measures which might be taken against those who should refuse to +swear. Of the latter, description there was but one opinion, which was +that their refusal in such a case would be tantamount to guilt. The +innocent were anxious to vindicate themselves from suspicion: and, as +the suspected did not amount to more than a dozen, of course, the whole +body of the people, including the thieves themselves, who applauded it +as loudly as the other, all expressed their satisfaction at the measures +about to be adopted. A day was therefore appointed, on which the +inhabitants of the neighborhood, particularly the suspected persons, +should come to assemble at Cassidy's house, in order to have the +characters of the innocent cleared up, and the guilty, if possible, made +known. + +On the evening before this took place, were assembled in Meehan's +cottage, the elder Meehan, and the rest of the gang, including Denis, +who had absconded, on the night of the theft. + +“Well, well, Denny,” said Anthony, who forced his rugged nature into an +appearance of better temper, that he might strengthen the timid +spirit of his brother against the scrutiny about to take place on the +morrow--perhaps, too, he dreaded him--“Well, well. Denny, I thought, +sure enough, that it was some new piece of cowardice came over you. Just +think of him,” he added, “shabbin' off, only because he made, with a +bit of a rod, three strokes in the ashes that he thought resembled a +coffin!--ha, ha, ha!” + +This produced a peal of derision at Denis's pusillanimous terror. + +“Ay!” said the Big Mower, “he was makin' a coffin, was he? I wondher it +wasn't a rope you drew, Denny. If any one dies in the coil, it will be +the greatest coward, an' that's yourself.” + +“You may all laugh,” replied Denis, “but I know such things to have a +manin'. When my mother died, didn't my father, the heavens be his bed! +see a black coach about a week before it? an' sure from the first day +she tuck ill, the dead-watch was heard in the house every night: and +what was more nor that, she kept warm until she went into her grave; * +an' accordingly, didn't my sisther Shibby die within a year afther?” + + * It is supposed in Ireland, when a corpse retains, for + a longer space of time than usual, any thing like + animal heat, that some person belonging to the family + of the deceased will die within a year. + +“It's no matther about thim things,” replied Anthony; “it's thruth about +the dead-watch, my mother keepin' warm, an' Shibby's death, any way, But +on the night we tuck Cassidy's horse, I thought you were goin' to betray +us: I was surely in a murdherin' passion, an' would have done harm, only +things turned out as they did.” + +“Why,” said Denis, “the truth is, I was afeard some of us would be shot, +an' that the lot would fall on myself; for the coffin, thinks I, was +sent as a warnin'. How-and-ever, I spied about Cassidy's stable, till +I seen that the coast was clear; so whin I heard the low cry of the +patrich that Anthony and I agreed on, I joined yez.” + +“Well, about to-morrow,” observed Kenny--“ha, ha, ha!--there'll be lots +o' swearin'--Why the whole parish is to switch the primer; many a +thumb and coat-cuff will be kissed in spite of priest or magistrate. I +remimber once, when I was swearin' an alibi for long Paddy Murray, that +suffered for the M'Gees, I kissed my thumb, I thought, so smoothly, that +no one would notice it; but I had a keen one to dale with, so says he, +'You know for the matther o' that, my good fellow, that you have your +thumb to kiss every day in the week,' says he, 'but you might salute the +book out o' dacency and good manners; not,' says he, 'that you an' it +are strangers aither; for, if I don't mistake, you're an ould hand at +swearin' alibis.' + +“At all evints, I had to smack the book itself, and it's I, and Barney +Green, and Tim Casserly, that did swear stiffly for Paddy, but the thing +was too clear agin him. So he suffered, poor fellow, an' died right +game, for he said over his dhrop--ha, ha, ha!--that he was as innocent +o' the murder as a child unborn: an' so he was in one sinse, bein' +afther gettin' absolution.” + +“As to thumb-kissin',” observed the elder Meehan; “let there be none +of it among us to-morrow; if we're caught at it 'twould be as bad +as stayin' away altogether; for my part, I'll give it a smack like a +pistol-shot--ha, ha, ha!” + +“I hope they won't bring the priest's book,” said Denis. “I haven't the +laste objection agin payin' my respects to the magistrate's paper, but +somehow I don't like tastin' the priest's in a falsity.” + +“Don't you know,” said the Big Mower, “that with a magistrate's present, +it's ever an' always only the Tistament by law that's used. I myself +wouldn't kiss the mass-book in a falsity.” + +“There's none of us sayin' we'd do it in a lie,” said the elder Meehan; +“an' it's well for thousands that the law doesn't use the priest's book; +though, after all, aren't there books that say religion's all a sham? I +think myself it is; for if what they talk about justice an' Providence +is thrue, would Tom Dillon be transported for the robbery we committed +at Bantry? Tom, it's true, was an ould offender; but he was innocent of +that, any way. The world's all chance; boys, as Sargint Eustace used to +say, and whin we die there's no more about us; so that I don't see why +a man mightn't as well switch the priest's book as any other, only that, +somehow, a body can't shake the terror of it off o' them.” + +“I dunna, Anthony, but you and I ought to curse that sargint; only for +him we mightn't be as we are, sore in our conscience, an' afeard of +every fut we hear passin',” observed Denis. + +“Spake for your own cowardly heart, man alive,” replied Anthony; “for my +part, I'm afeared o' nothin'. Put round the glass, and don't be nursin' +it there all night. Sure we're not so bad as the rot among the sheep, +nor the black leg among the bullocks, nor the staggers among the horses, +any how; an' yet they'd hang us up only for bein' fond of a bit o' +mate--ha, ha, ha!” + +“Thrue enough,” said the Big Mower, philosophizing--“God made the +beef and the mutton, and the grass to feed it; but it was man made +the ditches: now we're only bringin' things back to the right way that +Providence made them in, when ould times were in it, manin' before +ditches war invinted--ha, ha, ha!” + +“'Tis a good argument,” observed Kenny, “only that judge and jury +would be a little delicate in actin' up to it; an' the more's the pity. +Howsomever, as Providence made the mutton, sure it's not harm for us to +take what he sends.” + +“Ay; but,” said Denis, + + “'God made man, an' man made money; + God made bees, and bees made honey; + God made Satan, an' Satan made sin; + An' God made a hell to put Satan in.' + +Let nobody say there's not a hell; isn't there it plain from Scripthur?” + +“I wish you had the Scripthur tied about your neck!” replied Anthony. +“How fond of it one o' the greatest thieves that ever missed the rope +is! Why the fellow could plan a roguery with any man that ever danced +the hangman's hornpipe, and yet he be's repatin' bits an' scraps of ould +prayers, an' charms, an' stuff. Ay, indeed! Sure he has a varse out o' +the Bible, that he thinks can prevent a man from bein' hung up any day!” + +While Denny, the Big Mower, and the two Meehans were thus engaged +in giving expression to their peculiar opinions, the Pedlar held a +conversation of a different kind with Anne. + +With the secrets of the family in his keeping, he commenced a rather +penitent review of his own life, and expressed his intention of +abandoning so dangerous a mode of accumulating wealth. He said that +he thanked heaven he had already laid up sufficient for the wants of a +reasonable man; that he understood farming and the management of sheep +particularly well: that it was his intention to remove to a different +part of the kingdom, and take a farm; and that nothing prevented him +from having done this before, but the want of a helpmate to take care of +his establishment: he added, that his present wife was of an intolerable +temper, and a greater villain by fifty degrees than himself. He +concluded by saying, that his conscience twitched him night and day for +living with her, and that by abandoning her immediately, becoming truly +religious, and taking Anne in her place, he hoped, he said, to atone in +some measure for his former errors. + +Anthony, however, having noticed the earnestness which marked the +Pedlar's manner, suspected him of attempting to corrupt the principles +of his daughter, having forgotten the influence which his own opinions +were calculated to produce upon her heart. + +“Martin,” said he, “'twould be as well you ped attention to what we're +sayin' in regard o' the thrial to-morrow, as to be palaverin' talk into +the girl's ear that can't be good comin' from _your_ lips. Quit it, I +say, quit it! _Corp an duoiwol_ (* My body to Satan)!--I won't allow +such proceedins!” + +“Swear till you blister your lips, Anthony,” replied Martin: “as for +me, bein' no residenthur, I'm not bound to it; an' what's more, I'm not +suspected. 'Tis settin' some other bit o' work for yez I'll be, while +you're all clearin' yourselves from stealin' honest Cassidy's horse. I +wish we had him safely disposed of in the mane time, an' the money for +him an' the other beasts in our pockets.” + +Much more conversation of a similar kind passed between them upon +various topics connected with their profligacy and crimes. At length +they separated for the night, after having concerted their plan of +action for the ensuing scrutiny. + +The next morning, before the hour appointed arrived, the parish, +particularly the neighborhood of Carnmore, was struck with deep +consternation. Labor became suspended, mirth disappeared, and every face +was marked with paleness, anxiety, and apprehension. If two men met, one +shook his head mysteriously, and inquired from the other, “Did you hear +the news?” + +“Ay! ay! the Lord be about us all, I did! an' I pray God that it may +lave the counthry as it came to it!” + +“Oh, an' that it may, I humbly make supplication this day!” + +If two women met, it was with similar mystery and fear. “Vread, (* +Margaret) do you know what's at the Cassidys'?” + +“Whisht, ahagur, I do; but let what will happen, sure it's best for us +to say nothin'.” + +“Say! the blessed Virgin forbid! I'd cut my hand off o' me, afore I'd +spake a word about it; only that--” + +“Whisht! woman--for mercy's sake--don't----” + +And so they would separate, each crossing herself devoutly. + +The meeting at Cassidy's was to take place that day at twelve o'clock; +but, about two hours before the appointed time, Anne, who had been in +some of the other houses, came into her father's, quite pale, breathless +and trembling. + +“Oh!” she exclaimed, with clasped hands, whilst the tears fell fast +from her eyes, “we'll be lost, ruined; did yez hear what's in the +neighborhood wid the Cassidys?” + +“Girl,” said the father, with more severity than he had ever manifested +to her before, “I never yet riz my hand to you, but _ma corp an duowol_, +if you open your lips, I'll fell you where you stand. Do you want that +cowardly uncle o' yours to be the manes o' hanging your father? Maybe +that was one o' the lessons Martin gave you last night?” And as he spoke +he knit his brows at her with that murderous scowl which was habitual +to him. The girl trembled, and began to think that since her father's +temper deepened in domestic outrage and violence as his crimes +multiplied, the sooner she left the family the better. Every day, +indeed, diminished that species of instinctive affection which she had +entertained towards him; and this, in proportion as her reason ripened +into a capacity for comprehending the dark materials of which his +character was composed. Whether he himself began to consider detection +at hand, or not, we cannot say; but it is certain, that his conduct +was marked with a callous recklessness of spirit, which increased in +atrocity to such a degree, that even his daughter could,only not look on +him with disgust. + +“What's the matter now?” inquired Denis, with alarm: “is it anything +about us, Anthony?” + +“No, 'tisn't,” replied the other, “anything about us! What 'ud it be +about us for? 'Tis a lyin' report that some cunnin' knave spread, hopin' +to find out the guilty. But hear me, Denis, once for all; we're goin' to +clear ourselves--now listen--an' let my words sink deep into you +heart: if you refuse to swear this day--no matther what's put into your +hand--you'll do harm--that's all: have courage, man; but should you cow, +your coorse will be short; an' mark, even if you escape me, your sons +won't: I have it all planned: an' _corp an duowol!_ thim you won't know +from Adam will revenge me, if I am taken up through your unmanliness.” + +“'Twould be betther for us to lave the counthry,” said Anne; “we might +slip away as it is.” + +“Ay,” said the father, “an' be taken by the neck afore we'd get two +miles from the place! no, no, girl; it's the safest way to brazen thim +out. Did you hear me, Denis?” + +Denis started, for he had been evidently pondering on the mysterious +words of Anne, to which his brother's anxiety to conceal them gave +additional mystery. The coffin, too, recurred to him; and he feared that +the death shadowed out by it would in some manner or other occur in the +family. He was, in fact, one of those miserable villains with but half +a conscience;--that is to say, as much as makes them the slaves of the +fear which results from crime, without being the slightest impediment to +their committing it. It was no wonder he started at the deep pervading +tones of his brother's voice, for the question was put with ferocious +energy. + +On starting, he looked with vague terror on his brother, fearing, but +not comprehending, his question. + +“What is it, Anthony?” he inquired. “Oh, for that matther,” replied +the other, “nothin' at all: think of what I said to you any how; swear +through thick an' thin, if you have a regard for your own health, or +for your childher. Maybe I had betther repate it again for you?” he +continued, eyeing him with mingled fear and suspicion. “Dennis, as a +friend, I bid you mind yourself this day, an' see you don't bring aither +of us into throuble.” + +There lay before the Cassidys' houses a small flat of common, trodden +into rings by the young horses they were in the habit of training. On +this level space were assembled those who came, either to clear their +own character from suspicion, or to witness the ceremony. The day was +dark and lowering, and heavy clouds rolled slowly across the peaks of +the surrounding mountains; scarcely a breath of air could be felt; and, +as the country people silently approached, such was the closeness of the +day, their haste to arrive in time, and their general anxiety, either +for themselves or their friends, that almost every man, on reaching the +spot, might be seen taking up the skirts of his “cothamore,” or “big +coat,” (the peasant's handkerchief), to wipe the sweat from his brow; +and as he took off his dingy woollen hat, or caubeen, the perspiration +rose in strong exhalations from his head. + +“Michael, am I in time?” might be heard from such persons, as they +arrived: “did this business begin yit?” + +“Full time, Larry; myself's here an hour ago but no appearance of +anything as yit. Father Farrell and Squire Nicholson are both in +Cassidys' waitin' till they're all gother, whin they'll begin to put +thim through their facins. You hard about what they've got?” + +“No; for I'm only on my way home from the berril of a _cleaveen_ of +mine, that we put down this mornin' in the Tullyard. What is it?” + +“Why man alive, it's through the whole parish _inready_;”--he then went +on, lowering his voice to a whisper, and speaking in a tone bordering on +dismay. + +The other crossed himself, and betrayed symptoms of awe and +astonishment, not un-mingled with fear. + +“Well,” he replied, “I dunna whether I'd come here, if I'd known that; +for, innocent or guilty, I would'nt wish to be near it. Och, may God +pity thim that's to come acrass it, I espishily if they dare to do it in +a lie!” + +“They needn't, I can tell yez both,” observed a third person, “be a hair +afeard of it, for the best rason livin', that there's no thruth at all +in the report, nor the Cassidys never thought of sindin' for anything o' +the kind: I have it from Larry Cassidy's own lips, an' he ought to know +best.” The truth is, that two reports were current among the crowd: one +that the oath was to be simply on the Bible; and the other, that a more +awful means of expurgation was resorted to by the Cassidys. The people, +consequently, not knowing which to credit, felt that most painful of all +sensations--uncertainty. + +During the period which intervened between their assembling and the +commencement of the ceremony, a spectator, interested in contemplating +the workings of human nature in circumstances of deep interest, would +have had ample scope for observation. The occasion was to them a solemn +one. There was little conversation among them; for when a man is +wound up to a pitch of great interest, he is seldom disposed to relish +discourse. Every brow was anxious, every cheek blanched, and every, +arm folded: they scarcely stirred, or when they did, only with slow +abstracted movements, rather mechanical than voluntary. If an individual +made his appearance about Cassidy's door, a sluggish stir among them was +visible, and a low murmur of a peculiar character might be heard; but +on perceiving that it was only some ordinary person, all subsided again +into a brooding stillness that was equally singular and impressive. + +Under this peculiar feeling was the multitude, when Meehan and his +brother were seen approaching it from their own house. The elder, with +folded arms, and hat pulled over his brows, stalked grimly forward, +having that remarkable scowl upon his face, which had contributed to +establish for him so diabolical a character. Denis walked by his side, +with his countenance strained to inflation;--a miserable parody of that +sullen effrontery which marked the unshrinking miscreant beside him. +He had not heard of the ordeal, owing to the caution of Anthony: but, +notwithstanding his effort at indifference, a keen eye might have +observed the latent anxiety of a man who was habitually villanous, and +naturally timid. + +When this pair entered the crowd, a few secret glances, too rapid to be +noticed by the people, passed between them and their accomplices. Denis, +on seeing them present, took fresh courage, and looked with the heroism +of a blusterer upon those who stood about him, especially whenever he +found himself under the scrutinizing eye of his brother. Such was the +horror and detestation in which they were held, that on advancing into +the assembly, the persons on each side turned away, and openly avoided +them: eyes full of fierce hatred were bent on them vindictively, and +“curses, not loud, but deep,” were muttered with indignation which +nothing but a divided state of feeling could repress within due limits. +Every glance, however, was paid back by Anthony with interest, from eyes +and black shaggy brows tremendously ferocious; and his curses, as they +rolled up half smothered from his huge chest, were deeper and more +diabolical by far than their own. He even jeered at them; but, however +disgusting his frown, there was something truly apalling in the dark +gleam of his scoff, which threw them at an immeasurable distance behind +him, in the power of displaying on the countenance the worst of human +passions. + +At length Mr. Nicholson, Father Farrell, and his curate, attended by the +Cassidys and their friends, issued from the house: two or three servants +preceded them, bearing a table and chairs for the magistrate and +priests, who, however, stood during the ceremony. When they entered one +of the rings before alluded to, the table and chairs were placed in the +centre of it, and Father Farrell, as possessing most influence over the +people, addressed them very impressively. + +“There are,” said he, in conclusion, “persons in this crowd whom we +know to be guilty; but we will have an opportunity of now witnessing the +lengths to which crime, long indulged in, can carry them. To such people +I would say beware! for they know not the situation in which they are +placed.” + +During all this time there was not the slightest allusion made to the +mysterious ordeal which had excited so much awe and apprehension among +them--a circumstance which occasioned many a pale, downcast face to +clear up, and resume its usual cheerful expression. The crowd now were +assembled round the ring, and every man on whom an imputation had been +fastened came forward, when called upon, to the table at which the +priests and magistrate stood uncovered. The form of the oath was framed +by the two clergymen, who, as they knew the reservations and evasions +commonest among such characters, had ingeniously contrived not to leave +a single loophole through which the consciences of those who belonged to +this worthy fraternity might escape. + +To those acquainted with Irish courts of justice there was nothing +particularly remarkable in the swearing. Indeed, one who stood among the +crowd might hear from those who were stationed at the greatest distance +from the table, such questions as the following:-- + +“Is the thing in it, Art?” + +“No; 'tis nothin' but the law Bible, the magistrate's own one.” + +To this the querist would reply, with a satisfied nod of the head, +“Oh is that all? I heard they war to have it;” on which he would push +himself through the crowd until he reached the table, where he took his +oath as readily as another. + +“Jem Hartigan,” said the magistrate to one of those persons, “are you to +swear?” + +“Faix, myself doesn't know, your honor; only that I hard them say that +the Cassidys mintioned our names along wid many other honest people; an' +one wouldn't, in that case, lie under a false report, your honor, +from any one, when we're as clear as them that never saw the light of +anything of the kind.” + +The magistrate then put the book into his hand, and Jem, in return, +fixed his eye, with much apparent innocence, on his face: “Now, Jem +Hartigan,” etc, etc., and the oath was accordingly administered. Jem put +the book to his mouth, with his thumb raised to an acute angle on the +back of it; nor was the smack by any means a silent one which he gave it +(his thumb). + +The magistrate set his ear with the air of a man who had experience in +discriminating such sounds. “Hartigan,” said he, “you'll condescend to +kiss the book, sir, if you please: there's a hollowness in that smack, +my good fellow, that can't escape me.” + +“Not kiss it, your honor? why, by this staff in my hand, if ever a man +kissed”-- + +“Silence! you impostor,” said the curate; “I watched you closely, and am +confident your lips never touched the book.” + +“My lips never touched the book!--Why, you know I'd be sarry to +conthradict either o' yez; but I was jist goin' to obsarve, wid +simmission, that my own lips ought to know best; an' don't you hear them +tellin' you that they did kiss it?” and he grinned with confidence in +their faces. + +“You double-dealing reprobate!” said the parish priest, “I'll lay my +whip across your jaws. I saw you, too, an' you did not kiss the book.” + +“By dad, an' maybe I did not, sure enough,” he replied: “any man may +make a mistake unknownst to himself; but I'd give my oath, an' be the +five crasses, I kissed it as sure as--however, a good thing's never +the worse o' bein' twice done, gintlemen; so here goes, jist to satisfy +yez;” and, placing the book near, his mouth, and altering his position +a little, he appeared to comply, though, on the contrary, he touched +neither it nor his thumb. “It's the same thing to me,” he continued, +laying down the book with an air of confident assurance; “it's the same +thing to me if I kissed it fifty times over, which I'm ready to do if +that doesn't satisfy yez.” + +As every man acquitted himself of the charges brought against him, +the curate immediately took down his name. Indeed, before the +clearing commenced, he requested that such as were to swear would stand +together within the ring, that, after having sworn, he might hand each +of them a certificate of the fact, which they appeared to think might be +serviceable to them, should they happen to be subsequently indicted for +the same crime in a court of justice. This, however, was only a plan to +keep them together for what was soon to take place. + +The detections of thumb kissing were received by those who had already +sworn, and by several in the outward crowd, with much mirth. It is but +justice, however, to the majority of those assembled to state, that they +appeared to entertain a serious opinion of the nature of the ceremony, +and no small degree of abhorrence against those who seemed to trifle +with the solemnity of an oath. + +Standing on the edge of the circle, in the innermost row, were Meehan +and his brother. The former eyed, with all the hardness of a stoic, the +successive individuals as they passed up to the table. His accomplices +had gone forward, and to the surprise of many who strongly suspected +them in the most indifferent manner “cleared” themselves in the trying +words of the oath, of all knowledge of, and participation in, the thefts +that had taken place. + +The grim visage of the elder Meehan was marked by a dark smile, scarcely +perceptible; but his brother, whose nerves were not so firm, appeared +somewhat confused and distracted by the imperturbable villany of the +perjurers. + +At length they were called up. Anthony advanced slowly but collectedly, +to the table, only turning his eye slightly about, to observe if his +brother accompanied him. “Denis,” said he, “which of us will swear +first? you may;” for, as he doubted his brother's firmness, he was +prudent enough, should he fail, to guard against having the sin of +perjury to answer for, along with those demands which his country had to +make for his other crimes. Denis took the book, and cast a slight glance +at his brother as if for encouragement; their eyes met, and the darkened +brow of Anthony hinted at the danger of flinching in this crisis. The +tremor of his hand was not, perhaps, visible to any but Anthony, who, +however, did not overlook this circumstance. He held the book, but +raised not his eye to meet the looks of either the magistrate or the +priests; the color also left his face, as with shrinking lips he touched +the Word of God in deliberate falsehood. Having then laid it down, +Anthony received it with a firm grasp, and whilst his eye turned boldly +in contemptuous mockery upon those who presented it, he impressed it +with the kiss of a man whose depraved conscience seemed to goad him only +to evil. After “clearing” himself, he laid the Bible upon the table with +the affected air of a person who felt hurt at the imputation of theft, +and joined the rest with a frown upon his countenance, and a smothered +curse upon his lips. + +Just at this moment, a person from Cassidy's house laid upon the table a +small box covered with black cloth; and our readers will be surprised +to hear, that if fire had come down visibly from heaven, greater awe +and fear could not have been struck into their hearts, or depicted upon +their countenances. The casual conversation, and the commentaries upon +the ceremony they had witnessed, instantly settled into a most profound +silence, and every eye was turned towards it with an interest absolutely +fearful. “Let,” said the curate, “none of those who have sworn depart +from within the ring, until they once more clear themselves upon this;” + and as he spoke, he held it up--“Behold,” said he, “and tremble--behold +THE DONAGH!!!” + +A low murmur of awe and astonishment burst from the people in general, +whilst those within the ring, who with few exceptions, were the worst +characters in the parish, appeared ready to sink into the earth. Their +countenances, for the most part, paled into the condemned hue of guilt; +many of them became almost unable to stand; and altogether, the state +of trepidation and terror in which they stood, was strikingly wild and +extraordinary. + +The curate proceeded: “Let him now who is guilty depart; or if he +wishes, advance and challenge the awful penalty annexed to perjury upon +this! Who has ever been known to swear falsely upon the Donagh, without +being visited by a tremendous punishment, either on the spot, or in +twenty-four hours after his perjury? If we ourselves have not seen such +instances with our own eyes, it is because none liveth who dare incur +such dreadful penalty; but we have heard of those who did, and of +their awful punishment afterwards. Sudden death, madness, paralysis, +self-destruction, or the murder of some one dear to them, are the marks +by which perjury upon the Donagh is known and visited. Advance, now, ye +who are innocent, but let the guilty withdraw; for we do not desire to +witness the terrible vengeance which would attend a false oath upon the +Donagh. Pause, therefore, and be cautious! for if this grievous sin be +committed, a heavy punishment will fall, not only upon you, but upon the +parish in which it occurs!” + +The words of the priest sounded to the guilty like the death-sentence +of a judge. Before he had concluded, all, except Meehan and his brother, +and a few who were really innocent, had slunk back out of the circle +into the crowd. Denis, however, became pale as a corpse; and from time +to time wiped the large drops from his haggard brow: even Anthony's +cheek, despite of his natural callousness, was less red; his eyes +became disturbed; but by their influence, he contrived to keep Denis in +sufficient dread, to prevent him from mingling, like the rest, among +the people. The few who remained along with them advanced; and +notwithstanding their innocence, when the Donagh was presented and the +figure of Christ and the Twelve Apostles displayed in the solemn tracery +of its carving, they exhibited symptoms of fear. With trembling hands +they touched the Donagh, and with trembling lips kissed the crucifix, +in attestation of their guiltlessness of the charge with which they had +been accused. + +“Anthony and Denis Meehan, come forward,” said the curate, “and declare +your innocence of the crimes with which you are charged by the Cassidys +and others.” + +Anthony advanced; but Denis stood rooted to the ground; on perceiving +which, the former sternly returned a step or two, and catching him by +the arm with an admonitory grip, that could not easily be misunderstood, +compelled him to proceed with himself step by step to the table. Denis, +however, could feel the strong man tremble and perceive that although +he strove to lash himself into the energy of despair, and the utter +disbelief of all religious sanction, yet the trial before him called +every slumbering prejudice and apprehension of his mind into active +power. This was a death-blow to his own resolution, or, rather it +confirmed him in his previous determination not to swear on the Donagh, +except to acknowledge his guilt, which he could scarcely prevent himself +from doing, such was the vacillating state of mind to winch he felt +himself reduced. + +When Anthony reached the table, his huge form seemed to dilate by his +effort at maintaining the firmness necessary to support him in this +awful struggle between conscience and superstition on the one hand, and +guilt, habit, and infidelity on the other. He fixed his deep, +dilated eyes upon the Donagh, in a manner that betokened somewhat +of irresolution: his countenance fell; his color came and went, but +eventually settled in a flushed red; his powerful hands and arms +trembled so much, that he folded them to prevent his agitation from +being noticed; the grimness of his face ceased to be stern, while it +retained the blank expression of guilt; his temples swelled out with the +terrible play of their blood-vessels, his chest, too, heaved up and +down with the united pressure of guilt, and the tempest which shook him +within. At length he saw Denis's eye upon him, and his passions took a +new direction; he knit his brows at him with more than usual fierceness, +ground his teeth, and with a step and action of suppressed fury, he +placed his foot at the edge of the table, and bowing down under the +eye of God and man, took the awful oath on the mysterious Douagh, in a +falsehood! When it was finished, a feeble groan broke from his brother's +lips. Anthony bent his eye on him with a deadly glare; but Denis saw it +not. The shock was beyond his courage,--he had become insensible. + +Those who stood at the outskirts of the crowd, seeing Denis apparently +lifeless, thought he must have sworn falsely on the Donagh, and +exclaimed, “He's dead! gracious God! Denis Meehan's struck dead by the +Donagh! He swore in a lie, and is now a corpse!” Anthony paused, and +calmly surveyed him as he lay with his head resting upon the hands of +those who supported him. At this moment a silent breeze came over where +they stood; and, as the Donagh lay upon the table, the black ribbons +with which it was ornamented fluttered with a melancholy appearance, +that deepened the sensations of the people into something peculiarly +solemn and preternatural. Denis at length revived, and stared wildly +and vacantly about him. When composed sufficiently to distinguish and +recognize individual objects, he looked upon the gloomy visage and +threatening eye of his brother, and shrunk back with a terror almost +epileptical. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “save me! save me from that man, and +I'll discover all!” + +Anthony calmly folded one arm into his bosom, and his lip, quivered with +the united influence of hatred and despair. + +“Hould him,” shrieked a voice, which proceeded from his daughter, “hould +my father or he'll murdher him! Oh! oh! merciful Heaven!” + +Ere the words were uttered she had made an attempt to clasp the arms of +her parent, whose motions she understood; but only in time to receive +from the pistol which he had concealed in his breast, the bullet aimed +at her uncle! She tottered! and the blood spouted out of her neck upon +her father's brows, who hastily put up his hand and wiped it away, for +it had actually blinded him. + +The elder Meehan was a tall man, and as he stood, elevated nearly a head +above the crowd, his grim brows red with his daughter's blood--which, +in attempting to wipe away, he had deeply streaked across his face--his +eyes shooting fiery gleams of his late resentment, mingled with the +wildness of unexpected horror--as he thus stood, it would be impossible +to contemplate a more revolting picture of that state to which the +principles that had regulated his life must ultimately lead, even in +this world. + +On perceiving what he had done, the deep working of his powerful frame +was struck into sudden stillness, and he turned his eyes on his bleeding +daughter, with a fearful perception of her situation. Now was the +harvest of his creed and crimes reaped in blood; and he felt that the +stroke which had fallen upon him was one of those by which God will +sometimes bare his arm and vindicate his justice. The reflection, +however, shook him not: the reality of his misery was too intense and +pervading, and grappled too strongly with his hardened and unbending +spirit, to waste its power upon a nerve or a muscle. It was abstracted, +and beyond the reach of bodily suffering. From the moment his daughter +fell, he moved not: his lips were half open with the conviction produced +by the blasting truth of her death, effected prematurely by his own +hand. + +Those parts of his face which had not been stained with her blood +assumed an ashy paleness, and rendered his countenance more terrific by +the contrast. Tall, powerful, and motionless, he appeared to the crowd, +glaring at the girl like a tiger anxious to join his offspring, yet +stunned with the shock of the bullet which has touched a vital part. +His iron-gray hair, as it fell in thick masses about his neck, was moved +slightly by the blast, and a lock which fell over his temple was blown +back with a motion rendered more distinct by his statue-like attitude, +immovable as death. + +A silent and awful gathering of the people around this impressive scene, +intimated their knowledge of what they considered to be a judicial +punishment annexed to perjury upon the Donagh. This relic lay on the +table, and the eyes of those stood within view of it, turned from +Anthony's countenance to it, and again back to his blood-stained visage, +with all the overwhelming influence of superstitious fear. Shudderings, +tremblings, crossings, and ejaculations marked their conduct and +feeling; for though the incident in itself was simply a fatal and +uncommon one, yet they considered it supernatural and miraculous. + +[Illustration: PAGE 899-- Have I murdhered my daughter?] + +At length a loud and agonizing cry burst from the lips of Meehan--“Oh, +God!--God of heaven an' earth!--have I murdhered my daughter?” and he +cast down the fatal weapon with a force which buried it some inches into +the wet clay. + +The crowd had closed upon Anne; but with the strength of a giant he +flung them aside, caught the girl in his arms, and pressed her bleeding +to his bosom. He gasped for breath: “Anne,” said he, “Anne, I am without +hope, an' there's none to forgive me except you;--none at all: from God, +to the poorest of his creatures, I am hated an' cursed, by all, except +you! Don't curse me, Anne; don't curse me! Oh, isn't it enough, darlin', +that my sowl is now stained with your blood, along with my other crimes? +In hell, on earth, an' in heaven, there's none to forgive your father +but yourself!--none! none! Oh, what's comin' over me! I'm dizzy an' +shiverin'! How cowld the day's got of a sudden! Hould up, avourneen +machree! I was a bad man; but to you Anne, I was not as I was to every +one! Darlin', oh look at me with forgiveness in your eye, or any way +don't curse me! Oh! I'm far cowlder now! Tell me that you forgive me, +_acushla oge machree!--Manim asthee ha_, darlin', say it. I darn't look +to God! but oh! do you say the forgivin' word to your father before you +die!” + +“Father,” said she, “I deserve this--it's only just: I have plotted with +that divilish Martin to betray them all, except yourself, an' to get +the reward; an' then we intended to go--an'--live at a distance--an' +in wickedness--where we--might not be known--he's at our house--let him +be--secured. Forgive me, father; you said so often that there was no +thruth in religion--that I began to--think so. Oh!--God! have mercy upon +me!” And with these words she expired. + +Meehan's countenance, on hearing this, was overspread with a ghastly +look of the most desolating agony: he staggered back, and the body of +his daughter, which he strove to hold, would have fallen from his +arms, had it not been caught by the bystanders. His eye sought out his +brother, but not in resentment. “Oh! she died, but didn't say 'I forgive +you!' Denis,” said he, “Denis, bring me home--I'm sick--very sick--oh, +but it's eowld--everything's reeling--how cowld--cowld it is!”--and as +he uttered the last words, he shuddered, fell down in a fit of apoplexy, +never to rise again; and the bodies of his daughter and himself were +both waked and buried together. + +The result is brief. The rest of the gang were secured: Denis became +approver, by whose evidence they suffered that punishment decreed by law +to the crimes of which they had been guilty. The two events which I +we have just related, of course added to the supernatural fear and +reverence previously entertained for this terrible relic. It is still +used as an ordeal of expurgation, in cases of stolen property; and we +are not wrong in asserting, that many of those misguided creatures, who +too frequently hesitate not to swear falsely on the Word of God, would +suffer death itself sooner than commit a perjury on the Donagh. + +* * * * * + +The story of the Donagh, the Author has reason to believe, was the means +of first bringing this curious piece of antiquity into notice. There +is little to be added here to what is in the sketch, concerning its +influence over the people, and the use of it as a blessed relic sought +for by those who wished to apply a certain test of guilt or innocence +to such well known thieves as scrupled not to perjure themselves on +the Bible. For this purpose it was a perfect conscience-trap, the most +hardened miscreant never having been known to risk a false oath upon it. +Many singular anecdotes are related concerning it. + +The Author feels great pleasure in subjoining two very interesting +letters upon the subject--one from an accomplished scholar, the late +Rev. Dr. O'Beirne, master of the! distinguished school of Portora at +Enniskillen; the other from Sir William Betham, one of the soundest and +most learned of our Irish Antiquaries. Both gentlemen differ in their +opinion respecting the antiquity of the Donagh; and, as the author is +incompetent to decide between them, he gives their respective letters to +the public. + + +““Portora, August 15, 1832. + +““My Dear Carleton.--It is well you wrote to me about the Dona. Your +letter, which reached me this day, has proved that I was mistaken in +supposing that the promised drawing was no longer necessary. I had +imagined, that as you must have seen the Dona with Mr. Smith, any +communication from me on the subject must be superfluous. And now that +I have taken up my pen in compliance with your wish, what can I tell you +that you have not perhaps conveyed to yourself by ocular inspection, and +better than I can detail it? + +““I accompanied Mr. S. to Brookborough, and asked very particularly +of the old woman, late the possessor of the Dona, what she knew of its +history; but she could say nothing about it, only that it had belonged +to 'The Lord of Enniskillen.' This was the Fermanagh Maguire, who took +an active part in the shocking rebellion of 1641, and was subsequently +executed. His castle, the ruins of which are on the grounds of Portora, +was stormed during the wars of that miserable time. When I entered on my +inquiries for you, I anticipated much in the way of tradition, which, I +hoped, might prove amusing at least; but disappointment met me on every +hand. The old woman could not even detail distinctly how the Dona had +come into her possession: it was brought into her family, she said, by a +priest. The country people had imagined wonders relative to the contents +of the box. The chief treasure it was supposed to contain was a lock of +the Virgin Mary's hair!!! + +““After much inquiry, I received the following vague detail from a +person in this country; and let me remark, by the by, that though the +possession of the Dona was matter of boast to the Maguires, yet I could +not gain the slightest information respecting it from even the most +intelligent of the name. But now for the detail:-- + +““Donagh O'Hanlon, an inhabitant of the upper part of this country +(Fermanagh), went, about 600 years ago (longer than which time, in the +opinion of a celebrated antiquary, the kind of engraving on it could +not have been made), on a pious pilgrimage to Rome. His Holiness of the +Vatican, whose name has escaped the recollection of the person who gave +this information, as a reward for this supererogatory journey, presented +him with the Dona. As soon as Donagh returned, the Dona was placed in +the monastery of Aughadurcher (now Aughalurcher). But at the time, when +Cromwell was in this country, the monastery was destroyed, and this +_Ark_ of the _Covenant_ hid by some of the faithful at a small lake, +named Lough Eye, between Lisbellaw and Tempo. It was removed thence +when peace was restored, and again placed in some one of the neighboring +chapels, when, as before in Aughalurcher, the oaths were administered +with all the superstition that a depraved imagination could, invent, as +“that their thighs might rot off,” “that they might go mad,” etc., etc. + +““When Kings James and William made their appearance, it was again +concealed in Largy, an old Castle at Sir H. Brooke's deer-park. Father +Antony Maguire, a priest of the Roman Church, dug it up from under the +stairs in this old castle, after the battle of the Boyne, deposited it +in a chapel, and it was used as before. + +““After Father Antony's death it fell into the possession of his niece, +who took it over to the neighborhood of Florence-court. But the Maguires +were not satisfied that a thing so sacred should depart from the family, +and at their request it was brought back.” + +“For the confirmation of the former part of this account, the informant +refers you to Sir James Ware. I have not Ware's book, and cannot +therefore tell you how much of this story, is given by him, or whether +any. In my opinion there is nothing detailed by him at all bearing +on the subject. The latter part of this story rests, we are told, on +tradition. + +“As I confess myself not at all versed in Irish antiquities, it may +appear somewhat presumptuous in me to venture an opinion respecting this +box and its contents, which is, I understand, opposed to that of our +spirited and intelligent antiquary, Sir Wm. Betham. I cannot persuade +myself that either the box or the contained MSS. were of such an age as +he claims for them. And, first, of the box:-- + +“At present the MSS. are contained in a wooden box; the wood is, I +believe, yew. It cannot be pronounced, I think, with any certainty, +whether the wooden box was originally part of the shrine of the precious +MSS. It is very rude in its construction, and has not a top or lid. +Indeed it appears to me to have been a coarse botched-up thing to +receive the MSS. after the original box, which was made of brass, had +fallen to pieces. + +“The next thing that presents itself to us is the remnant of a brass +box, washed with Silver, and rudely ornamented with tracery. The two +ends and the front are all that remain of the brass box. + +“You may then notice what was evidently an addition of later times, +the highly ornamented gilt-silver work, made fast on the remains of the +brass box, and the chased compartments, which seem to have formed the +top or lid of the box. But, as you have seen the whole, I need not +perhaps have troubled you with this description. I shall only direct +your attention to the two inscriptions. In the chasing you will see that +they are referred to their _supposed_ places. + +“The upper inscription, when deciphered, is-- + +“'Johannes: O'Karbri: Comorbanus: S. Tignacii: Pmisit.' For S. +Tigcnaii I would conjecture St. Ignacii: P, I should conjecture to +be Presbyterus. On this I. should be very glad to have Sir William's +opinion. I cannot imagine, if P stands part of a compound with misit, +what it can mean. I would read and translate it thus--'John O'Carbery, +coadjutor, priest, of the order of St. Ignatius, sent it.' + +“This inscription, is on a narrow slip of silver, and is presumed to +have formed part of the under edge of the upper part of the back of the +box. The lower inscription is--; + +“'_Johannes O'Barrdan fabricavit._' + +“This also is on a slip of silver, and appears to have fitted into a +space on the upper surface which is supposed to have been the top, and +to have lain in between the two square compartments on the left hand: +this is marked in the drawing. I have expressed myself here in the +language of doubt, for the box is all in confusion. + +“Now, on the inscriptions, I would say, that they indicate to me a date +much later than some gentlemen who have seen the box are willing to +ascribe to it. In the island of Devenish, in our lake (Lough Erne), is +an inscription, that was discovered in the ruins (still standing) of +a priory, that was built there A. D. 1449. The characters in this +inscription are much more remote from the Roman character in use among +us than those used in the inscriptions on the box. The letters on +the box bespeak a later period, when English cultivation had begun to +produce some effect in our island, and the Roman character was winning +its way into general use. I shall probably be able to let you see the +Devenish inscription, and ajuxta position of it and the others will +satisfy you, I think, on this point. In my opinion, then, the box, with +all its ornaments, must have been made at some time since the year 1449. +I cannot think it reasonable to suppose that an inscription, containing +many letters like the Roman characters, should be more ancient than +one not only having fewer letters resembling them, but also having the +letters that differ differing essentially.” + +Now for the MSS. + +“I am deficient in antiquarian lore: this I have already confessed; but +perhaps I want also the creative fancy and devoted faith of the genuine +antiquary. I cannot, for example, persuade myself, that a MS. written +in a clear, uniform, small character of the Roman form, could have been +written in remote times, when there is reason to think that MSS. were +written in uncial characters only, without stops, and with few or no +divisions into words, sentences, or paragraphs. The palimpsest MS. +examined by Dr. Barrett is in uncial characters, and is referred by him +to the 6th or 7th century. _Cic. de Republica_, published by Angelo Mai, +is assigned to much the same period. Small letters, and the distinctions +above mentioned, were the invention of later times. I cannot therefore +persuade myself that this MS. is of so early an age as some would +ascribe to it, though I will not take it upon me to assign the precise +time in which, it was written. The characters are decidedly and +distinctly those now called the Roman: they have not many abbreviations, +as far as I could judge, and they are written with much clearness +and regularity. They are not the _literae cursivae_, or those used in +writing for the sake of facility and connection: they seem rather formed +more in imitation, of printed letters. SECUNDUM--This imperfect attempt +to present one of the words, will explain my meaning. But I had better +not weary you any more with my crude notions. I shall be very glad to +hear your opinion, or that of Sir William Betham, to whom I should bow +with all the respect due to talent and worth. I must avow my distrust +of Irish antiquities; yet, allow me to add, that there is no man more +willing to be converted from my heresy, if you would call it so, than + +“My dear Carleton, + +“Your friend and servant, + +“A. O'BEIRNE.” + + +“Stradbrook House, October, 1832. + +“Dear Sir,--I have read Dr. O'Beirne's important letter on the Dona: the +account he has collected of its recent history is full of interest, and +for the most part, I have no doubt correct. His speculations respecting +its antiquity I cannot give my adhesion to, not feeling a doubt myself +on the subject. When I have time to investigate it more fully, I am +satisfied that this box, like the others, of which accounts have +already been published, will be found mentioned in the Irish Annals. The +inscriptions, however, fully identify the MS. and the box, and show that +antiquaries, from the execution of the workmanship and figures on these +interesting reliques, often underrate their antiquity--a fault which the +world are little inclined to give them credit for, and which they fall +into from an anxiety to err on what they consider the side which +is least likely to produce the smile of contempt or the sneer of +incredulity, forgetting that it is the sole business of an antiquarian +and historian to speak the truth, disregarding even contempt for so +doing. + +“I had been somewhat lengthy in my description of the Dona, and from +habit, entered into a minute account of all its parts, quite forgetting +that you, perhaps, do not possess an appetite for antiquarian detail, +and therefore might be better pleased to have a general outline than +such a recital. I therefore proceed to give it as briefly as possible, +not, however, omitting any material points. + +“The Irish word Domnach, which is pronounced Dona, means the Lord's day, +or the first day in the week, sanctified or consecrated to the service +of the Lord. It is also in that sense used for a house, church, or +chapel. Donayhmore means the great church or chapel dedicated to God. +This box, being holy, as containing the Gospels, and having the crucifix +thereon, was dedicated or consecrated to the service of God. Like the +Caah, the Meeshach, and Dhimma's box, it is of brass, covered with +plates of silver, and resembles the two former in having a box of yew +inside, which was the original case of the MS. and became venerated so +much, on that account, as to be deemed worthy of being inclosed with +it in the shrine made by permission of John O'Carberry, Abbot of +Clonmacnois, in the 14th century. + +“The top of the Dona is divided by a cross, on the lower arm of which is +a figure of the Savior; over his head is a shield, divided _per pale_, +between two crystal settings; on the dexter is a hand holding a scourge +or whip of three thongs, and on a chief a ring; on the sinister, on +a chief the same charge and three crucifixion nails. In the first +compartment, or quarter of the cross, are representations of St. +Columbkill, St. Bridget, and St. Patrick. In the second, a bishop +pierced with two arrows, and two figures of St. Peter and St. Paul. In +the third, the Archangel Michael treading on the dragon, and the Virgin +Mary and the infant Jesus. In the fourth, St. Tigemach handing to his +successor, St. Sinellus, the Dona; and a female figure, perhaps Mary +Magdalen. + +“The front of the Dona is ornamented with three crystal settings, +surmounted by grotesque figures of animals. Between these are four +horsemen with swords drawn, in full speed. + +“The right hand end has a figure of St. Tigemach, and St. John the +Baptist. The left hand end a figure of St. Catherine with her wheel. + +“The Dona is nine inches and a half long, seven wide, and not quite four +thick. + +“So far I have been enabled to describe the Dona from the evidently +accurate and well executed drawings you were so good as to present to +me. Why the description is less particular than it should have been, I +shall take another opportunity of explaining to you. + +“There are three inscriptions on the Dona: one on a scroll from the hand +of the figure of the Baptist, of ECCE AGNUS DEI. The two others are on +plates of silver, but their exact position on the box is not marked +in the drawing, but may be guessed by certain places which the plates +exactly fit. “The first is-- + +“JOHANNES: OBARRDAN: FABRICAVIT. + +“The second-- + +“JOHS: OKARBRI: COMORBANVS: S. TIGNACH: PMISIT.” + +“'_John O'Barrdan made this box by the permission of John O'Carbry, +successor of St. Tigermach_.' + +“St. Tierny, or St. Tigernach was third Bishop of Clogher, having +succeeded St. Maccartin in the year 506. In the list of bishops, St. +Patrick is reckoned the first, and founder of the see. Tigernach died +the 4th of April, 548. + +“John O'Carbry was abbott of Clones, or Clounish, in the County of +Monoghan, and as such was _comorb_, or _corb_*--i. e., successor--of +Tigernach, who was founder of the abbey and removed the episcopal seat +from Clogher to Clounish. Many of the abbots Were also bishops of the +see. He died in 1353. How long he was abbot does not appear; but the age +of the outside covering of the Dona is fixed to the 14th century. + + * All the successors of the founder saints were called + by the Irish _comorbs_ or _corbs_. The reader Will perceive + that O'Carbry was a distant but not we immediate successor + of St. Tigernach. + +“Since the foregoing was written I have seen the Dona, which was +exhibited at the last meeting of the Royal Irish Academy. it has been +put together at a guess, but different from the drawing. There is inside +O'Barrdan's case another of silver plates some centuries older, and +inside that the yew box, which originally contained the manuscripts, now +so united by damp as to be apparently inseparable, and nearly illegible; +for they have lost the color of vellum, and are quite black, and very +much decayed. The old Irish version of the New Testament is well worthy +of being edited; it is, I conceive, the oldest Latin version extant, and +varies much from the Vulgate or Jerome's. + +“The MS. inclosed in the yew box appears from the two membranes handed +me by your friend Mr. ------, to be a copy of the Gospels--at least +those membranes were part of the two first membranes of the Gospel of +St. Matthew, and, I would say, written in the 5th or 6th century; were, +probably, the property of St. Tigernach himself, and passed most likely +to the abbots of Clounish, his successors, as an heirloom, until it fell +into the hands of the Maguires, the most powerful of the princes of the +country now comprising the diocese of Clogher. Dr. O'Beirne's letter I +trust you will publish. I feel much indebted to the gentleman for his +courteous expressions towards me, and shall be most happy to have the +pleasure of being personally known to him. + +“You must make allowance for the hasty sketch which is here given. +The advanced state of your printing would not allow me time for a more +elaborate investigation. + +“Believe me, my dear sir, + +“Very sincerely yours, + +“W. BETHAM.” + + +We cannot close the illustrations of this ancient and venerable relic +without adding an extract from a most interesting and authentic history +of it contributed by our great Irish antiquarian, George Petrie, Esq., +R.H.A., M.R.I.A, to the 18th vol. of the Transactions of the Royal Irish +Academy, together with an engraving of it taken from a drawing made by +the same accomplished artist. + +“I shall endeavor to arrange these evidences in consecutive order. + +“It is of importance to prove that this _cumdach_, or reliquary, has +been from time immemorial popularly known by the name of _Domnach_, or, +as it is pronounced, Donagh, a word derived from the Latin _Dominicus_. +This fact is proved by a recent popular tale of very great power, by Mr. +Carleton, called the 'Donagh,' in which the superstitious uses to which +this reliquary has been long applied, are ably exhibited, and made +subservient to the interests of the story. It is also particularly +described under this name by the Rev. John Groyes in his account of the +parish of Errigal-Keeroch in the third volume of Shaw Mason's Parochial +Survey, page 163, though, as the writer states, it was not actually +preserved in that parish. + +“2. The inscriptions on the external case leave no doubt that the +Domnach belonged to the monastery of Clones, or see of Clogher. The John +O'Karbri, the _Comharb_, or successor of St. Tighernach, recorded, +in one of those inscriptions as the person at whose cost, or by whose +permission, the outer ornamental case was made, was, according to the +Annals of the Pour Masters, Abbot of Clones, and died in the year 1353. +He is properly called in that inscription _Comorbanus_, or successor of +Tighernach, who was the first Abbot and Bishop of the Church of Clones, +to which place, after the death of St. Mac-Carthen, in the year 506, +he removed the see of Clogher, having erected a new church, which he +dedicated to the apostles Peter and Paul. St. Tighernach, according to +all our ancient authorities, died in the year 548. + +“3. It appears from a fragment of an ancient life of St. Mac-Carthen, +preserved by Colgan, that a remarkable reliquary was given by St Patrick +to that saint when he placed him over the see of Clogher. + +“'Et addidit, [Patricius] Accipo, inquit, baculum itineris mei, quo +ego membra mea sustento et scrinium in quo de sanctorum Apostolorum +reliquiis, et de sanctae Mariae capillis, et sancta Grace Domini, et +sepulchro ejus, et aliis reliquiis sanctis continentur. Quibus dictis +dimisit cum osculo pacis paterna fultum benedictione.'--_Colgan, Vit. S. +Macaerthenni_ (24 Mart.) Acta SS. p. 738. + +“From this passage we learn one great-cause of the sanctity in which +this reliquary was held, and of the uses of the several recesses for +reliques which it presents. It also explains the historical _rilievo_ +on the top--the figure of St. Patrick presenting the Domnach to St. +Mac-Carthen. + +“4. In Jocelyn's Life of St. Patrick (cap. 143) we have also a notice to +the same effect, but in which the Domnach is called a _Chrismatorium_, +and the relics are not specified--in all probability because they were +not then appended to it. + +“In these authorities there is evidently much appearance of the Monkish +frauds of the middle ages; but still they are evidences of the tradition +of the country that such a gift had been made by Patrick to Mac-Carthen. +And as we advance higher in chronological authorities, we find the +notice of this gift stripped of much of its acquired garb of fiction, +and related with more of the simplicity of truth. + +“5. In the life of St. Patrick called the Tripartite, usually ascribed +to St. Evin, an author of the seventh century, and which, even in its +present interpolated state, is confessedly prior to the tenth, there +is the following remarkable passage (as translated by Colgan from the +original Irish) relative to the gift of the Domnach from the Apostle of +Ireland to St. Mac-Carthen, in which it is expressly described under the +very same appellation which it still bears. + +“' Aliquantis ergo evolutis diebus _Mac-Caertennum_, sive _Caerthennum_ +Episcopuin prsefecit sedi Episcopali Clocherensi, ab Ardmacha regni +Metropoli haud multum distanti: et apud eum reliquit argenteum quoddam +reliquiarium _Domnach-airgidh_ vulgo nuncupatum; quod viro Dei, in +Hiberniam venienti, ccelitus missum erat.'--_VII. Vita S. Patricii_, +Lib. in. cap. 3, _Tr. Th._ p. 149. + +“This passage is elsewhere given by Colgan, with a slight change of +words in the translation. + +“In this version, which is unquestionably prior to all the others, +we find the Domnach distinguished by the appellation of _Airgid_--an +addition which was applicable only to its more ancient or silver plated +case, and which could not with propriety be applied to its more recent +covering, which in its original state had the appearance of being of +gold. + +“On these evidences--and more might probably be procured if time had +allowed--we may, I think, with tolerable certainty, rest the following +conclusions: + +“1. That the Domnach is the identical reliquary given by St. Patrick to +St. Mac-Carthen. + +“2. As the form of the cumdach indicates that it was intended to receive +a book, and as the relics are all attached to the outer and the least +ancient cover, it is manifest that the use of the box as a reliquary was +not its original intention. The natural inference therefore is, that +it contained a manuscript which had belonged to St. Patrick; and us a +manuscript copy of the Gospels, apparently of that early age, is found +within it, there is every reason to believe it to be that identical +one for which the box was originally made, and which the Irish apostle +probably brought with him on his mission into this country. It is +indeed, not merely possible, but even probable, that the existence of +this manuscript was unknown to the Monkish biographers of St. Patrick +and St. Mac-Carthen, who speak of the box as a scrinium or reliquary +only. The outer cover was evidently not made to open; and some, at +least, of the relics attached to it were not introduced into Ireland +before the twelfth century. It will be remembered also that no +superstition was and is more common in connection with the ancient +cumdachs than the dread of their being opened. + +“These conclusions will, I think, be strengthened considerably by the +facts, that the word _Domnach_, as applied either to a church, as usual, +or to a reliquary, as in this instance, is only to be found in our +histories in connection with St. Patrick's time; and, that in the latter +sense--its application to a reliquary--it only once occurs in all our +ancient authorities, namely, in the single reference to the gift to +St. Mac-Carthen; no other reliquary in Ireland, as far as can be +ascertained, having ever been known by that appellation. And it should +also be observed, that all the ancient reliques preserved in Ireland, +whether bells, books, croziers, or other remains, have invariably and +without any single exception, been preserved and venerated only as +appertaining to the original founders of the churches to which they +belonged.” + +There is very little to be added, except that the Donagh was purchased +for a few pounds from the old woman who owned it, by Mr. George Smith, +of the house of Hodges and Smith, of College Green, Dublin, who very +soon sold it for a large sum to the Honorable Mr. Westenra, in whose +possession I presume it now is. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; +The Donagh, by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + +***** This file should be named 16014-0.txt or 16014-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/1/16014/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/16014-0.zip b/16014-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8d90403 --- /dev/null +++ b/16014-0.zip diff --git a/16014-h.zip b/16014-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b243492 --- /dev/null +++ b/16014-h.zip diff --git a/16014-h/16014-h.htm b/16014-h/16014-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1839b69 --- /dev/null +++ b/16014-h/16014-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,9765 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Traits of the Irish, by William Carleton, Volume III. + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The +Donagh, by William Carleton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh + Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of + William Carleton, Volume Three + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16014] +Last Updated: March 2, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <h1> + THE WORKS OF WILLIAM CARLETON. + </h1> + <h2> + VOLUME III. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + TRAITS AND STORIES OF THE IRISH PEASANTRY + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + PART III. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/page899.jpg" alt="Frontispiece " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/titlepage.jpg" alt="Titlepage " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <h2> + CONTENTS + </h2> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> THE HEDGE SCHOOL. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> THE MIDNIGHT MASS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> THE DONAGH; OR, THE HORSE STEALERS. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + List of Illustrations + </h2> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0001"> Frontispiece </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0002"> Titlepage </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0003"> Page 831— The Findramore Boys Have + Sacked You at Last </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0004"> Page 886— Upon the Very Spot Where he + Had Shot His Rival </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkimage-0005"> Page 899— Have I Murdhered My Daughter? + </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + THE HEDGE SCHOOL. + </h2> + <p> + There never was a more unfounded calumny, than that which would impute to + the Irish peasantry an indifference to education. I may, on the contrary, + fearlessly assert that the lower orders of no country ever manifested such + a positive inclination for literary acquirements, and that, too, under + circumstances strongly calculated to produce carelessness and apathy on + this particular subject. Nay, I do maintain, that he who is intimately + acquainted with the character of our countrymen, must acknowledge that + their zeal for book learning, not only is strong and ardent, when + opportunities of scholastic education occur, but that it increases in + proportion as these opportunities are rare and unattainable. The very name + and nature of Hedge Schools are proof of this; for what stronger point + could be made out, in illustration of my position, than the fact, that, + despite of obstacles, the very idea of which would crush ordinary + enterprise—when not even a shed could be obtained in which to + assemble the children of an Irish village, the worthy pedagogue selected + the first green spot on the sunny side of a quickset-thorn hedge, which he + conceived adapted for his purpose, and there, under the scorching rays of + a summer sun, and in defiance of spies and statutes, carried on the work + of instruction. From this circumstance the name of Hedge School + originated; and, however it may be associated with the ludicrous, I + maintain, that it is highly creditable to the character of the people, and + an encouragement to those who wish to see them receive pure and correct + educational knowledge. A Hedge School, however, in its original sense, was + but a temporary establishment, being only adopted until such a + school-house could be erected, as it was in those days deemed sufficient + to hold such a number of children, as were expected, at all hazards, to + attend it. + </p> + <p> + The opinion, I know, which has been long entertained of Hedge + Schoolmasters, was, and still is, unfavorable; but the character of these + worthy and eccentric persons has been misunderstood, for the stigma + attached to their want of knowledge should have rather been applied to + their want of morals, because, on this latter point, were they principally + indefensible. The fact is, that Hedge Schoolmasters were a class of men + from whom morality was not expected by the peasantry; for, strange to say, + one of their strongest recommendations to the good opinion of the People, + as far as their literary talents and qualifications were concerned, was an + inordinate love of whiskey, and if to this could be added a slight touch + of derangement, the character was complete. + </p> + <p> + On once asking an Irish peasant, why he sent his children to a + schoolmaster who was notoriously addicted to spirituous liquors, rather + than to a man of sober habits who taught in the same neighborhood, + </p> + <p> + “Why do I send them to Mat Meegan, is it?” he replied—“and do you + think, sir,” said he, “that I'd send them to that dry-headed dunce, Mr. + Frazher, with his black coat upon him, and his Caroline hat, and him + wouldn't take a glass of poteen wanst in seven years? Mat, sir, likes it, + and teaches the boys ten times betther whin he's dhrunk nor when he's + sober; and you'll never find a good tacher, sir, but's fond of it. As for + Mat, when he's half gone, I'd turn him agin the country for deepness in + learning; for it's then he rhymes it out of him, that it would do one good + to hear him.” + </p> + <p> + “So,” said I, “you think that a love of drinking poteen is a sign of + talent in a school-master?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, or in any man else, sir,” he replied. “Look at tradesmen, and 'tis + always the cleverest that you'll find fond of the drink! If you had hard + Mat and Frazher, the other evening, at it—what a hare Mat made of + him! but he was just in proper tune for it, being, at the time, purty well + I thank you, and did not lave him a leg to stand upon. He took him in + Euclid's Ailments and Logicals, and proved in Frazher's teeth that the + candlestick before them was the church-steeple, and Frazher himself the + parson; and so sign was on it, the other couldn't disprove it, but had to + give in.” + </p> + <p> + “Mat, then,” I observed, “is the most learned man on this walk.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, I doubt that same, sir,” replied he, “for all he's so great in + the books; for, you see, while they were ding dust at it, who comes in but + mad Delaney, and he attacked Mat, and, in less than no time, rubbed the + consate out of him, as clane as he did out of Frazher.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is Delaney?” I inquired. + </p> + <p> + “He was the makings of a priest, sir, and was in Maynooth a couple of + years, but he took in the knowledge so fast, that, bedad, he got cracked + wid larnin'—for a dunce you see, never cracks wid it, in regard of + the thickness of the skull: no doubt but he's too many for Mat, and can go + far beyant him in the books; but then, like Mat, he's still brightest whin + he has a sup in his head.” + </p> + <p> + These are the prejudices which the Irish peasantry have long entertained + concerning the character of hedge schoolmasters; but, granting them to be + unfounded, as they generally are, yet it is an indisputable fact, that + hedge schoolmasters were as superior in literary knowledge and + acquirements to the class of men who are now engaged in the general + education of the people, as they were beneath them in moral and religious + character. The former part of this assertion will, I am aware, appear + rather startling to many. But it is true; and one great cause why the + character of Society Teachers is undervalued, in many instances, by the + people, proceeds from a conviction on their parts, that they are, and must + be, incapable, from the slender portion of learning they have received, of + giving their children a sound and practical education. + </p> + <p> + But that we may put this subject in a clearer light, we will give a sketch + of the course of instruction which was deemed necessary for a hedge + schoolmaster, and let it be contrasted with that which falls to the lot of + those engaged in the conducting of schools patronized by the Education + Societies of the present day. + </p> + <p> + When a poor man, about twenty or thirty years ago, understood from the + schoolmaster who educated his sons, that any of them was particularly + “cute at his larnin',” the ambition of the parent usually directed itself + to one of three objects—he would either make him a priest, a clerk, + or a schoolmaster. The determination once fixed, the boy was set apart + from every kind of labor, that he might be at liberty to bestow his + undivided time and talents to the object set before him. His parents + strained every nerve to furnish him with the necessary books, and always + took care that his appearance and dress should be more decent than those + of any other member of the family. If the church were in prospect, he was + distinguished, after he had been two or three years at his Latin, by the + appellation of “the young priest,” an epithet to him of the greatest pride + and honor; but if destined only to wield the ferula, his importance in the + family, and the narrow circle of his friends, was by no means so great. + If, however, the goal of his future ambition as a schoolmaster was + humbler, that of his literary career was considerably extended. He usually + remained at the next school in the vicinity until he supposed that he had + completely drained the master of all his knowledge. This circumstance was + generally discovered in the following manner:—As soon as he judged + himself a match for his teacher, and possessed sufficient confidence in + his own powers, he penned him a formal challenge to meet him in literary + contest either in his own school, before competent witnesses, or at the + chapel-green, on the Sabbath day, before the arrival of the priest or + probably after it—for the priest himself was sometimes the moderator + and judge upon these occasions. This challenge was generally couched in + rhyme, and either sent by the hands of a common friend or posted upon the + chapel-door. + </p> + <p> + These contests, as the reader perceives, were always public, and were + witnessed by the peasantry with intense interest. If the master sustained + a defeat, it was not so much attributed to his want of learning, as to the + overwhelming talent of his opponent; nor was the success of the pupil + generally followed by the expulsion of the master—for this was but + the first of a series of challenges which the former proposed to + undertake, ere he eventually settled himself in the exercise of his + profession. + </p> + <p> + I remember being present at one of them, and a ludicrous exhibition it + was. The parish priest, a red-faced, jocular little man, was president; + and his curate, a scholar of six feet two inches in height, and a + schoolmaster from the next parish, were judges. I will only touch upon two + circumstances in their conduct, which evinced a close, instinctive + knowledge of human nature in the combatants. The master would not + condescend to argue off his throne—a piece of policy to which, in my + opinion, he owed his victory (for he won); whereas the pupil insisted that + he should meet him on equal ground, face to face, in the lower end of the + room. It was evident that the latter could not divest himself of his + boyish terror so long as the other sat, as it were, in the plentitude of + his former authority, contracting his brows with habitual sternness, + thundering out his arguments, with a most menacing and stentorian voice, + while he thumped his desk with his shut fist, or struck it with his great + ruler at the end of each argument, in a manner that made the youngster put + his hands behind him several times, to be certain that that portion of his + dress which is unmentionable was tight upon him. If in these encounters + the young candidate for the honors of the literary sceptre was not + victorious, he again resumed his studies, under his old preceptor, with + renewed vigor and becoming humility; but if he put the schoolmaster down, + his next object was to seek out some other teacher, whose celebrity was + unclouded within his own range. With him he had a fresh encounter, and its + result was similar to what I have already related. + </p> + <p> + If victorious, he sought out another and more learned opponent; and if + defeated, he became the pupil of his conqueror—going night about, + during his sojourn at the school, with the neighboring farmers' sons, whom + he assisted in their studies, as a compensation for his support. He was + called during these peregrinations, the Poor Scholar, a character which + secured him the esteem and hospitable attention of the peasantry, who + never fail in respect to any one characterized by a zeal for learning and + knowledge. + </p> + <p> + In this manner he proceeded, a literary knight errant, filled with a + chivalrous love of letters, which would have done honor to the most + learned peripatetic of them all; enlarging his own powers, and making + fresh acquisitions of knowledge as he went along. His contests, his + defeats, and his triumphs, of course, were frequent; and his habits of + thinking and reasoning must have been considerably improved, his + acquaintance with classical and mathematical authors rendered more + intimate, and his powers of illustration and comparison more clear and + happy. After three or four years spent in this manner, he usually returned + to his native place, sent another challenger to the schoolmaster, in the + capacity of a candidate for his situation, and if successful, drove him + out of the district, and established himself in his situation. The + vanquished master sought a new district, sent a new challenge, in his + turn, to some other teacher, and usually put him to flight in the same + manner. The terms of defeat or victory, according to their application, + were called sacking and bogging. “There was a great argument entirely, + sir,” said a peasant once, when speaking of these contests, “'twas at the + chapel on Sunday week, betiane young Tom Brady, that was a poor scholar in + Munsther, and Mr. Hartigan the schoolmaster.” + </p> + <p> + “And who was victorious?” I inquired. “Why, sir, and maybe 'twas young + Brady that didn't sack him clane before the priest and all, and went nigh + to bog the priest himself in Greek. His Reverence was only two words + beyant him; but he sacked the masther any how, and showed him in the + Grammatical and Dixonary where he was Wrong.” + </p> + <p> + “And what is Brady's object in life?” I asked. “What does he intend to + do.” + </p> + <p> + “Intend to do, is it? I am tould nothing less nor going into Trinity + College in Dublin and expects to bate them all there, out and out: he's + first to make something they call a seizure; (* Sizar) and, afther making + that good he's to be a counsellor. So, sir, you see what it is to resave + good schoolin', and to have the larnin'; but, indeed, it's Brady that's + the great head-piece entirely.” + </p> + <p> + Unquestionably, many who received instruction in this manner have + distinguished themselves in the Dublin University; and I have no + hesitation in saying, that young men educated in Irish hedge schools, as + they were called, have proved themselves to be better classical scholars + and mathematicians, generally speaking, than any proportionate number of + those educated in our first-rate academies. The Munstor masters have long + been, and still are, particularly celebrated for making excellent + classical and mathematical scholars. + </p> + <p> + That a great deal of ludicrous pedantry generally accompanied this + knowledge is not at all surprising, when we consider the rank these worthy + teachers held in life, and the stretch of inflation at which their pride + was kept by the profound reverence excited by their learning among the + people. It is equally true, that each of them had a stock of <i>crambos</i> + ready for accidental encounter, which would have puzzled Euclid or Sir + Isaac Newton himself; but even these trained their minds to habits of + acuteness and investigation. When a schoolmaster of this class had + established himself as a good mathematician, the predominant enjoyment of + his heart and life was to write the epithet Philomath after his name; and + this, whatever document he subscribed, was never omitted. If he witnessed + a will, it was Timothy Fagan, Philomath; if he put his name to a + promissory note, it was Tim. Pagan, Philomath; if he addressed a + love-letter to his sweetheart, it was still Timothy Fagan—or + whatever the name might be—Philomath; and this was always written in + legible and distinct copy-hand, sufficiently large to attract the + observation of the reader. + </p> + <p> + It was also usual for a man who had been a preeminent and extraordinary + scholar, to have the epithet Great prefixed to his name. I remember one of + this description, who was called the Great O'Brien par excellence. In the + latter years of his life he gave up teaching, and led a circulating life, + going round from school to school, and remaining a week or a month + alternately among his brethren. His visits were considered an honor, and + raised considerably the literary character of those with whom he resided; + for he spoke of dunces with the most dignified contempt, and the general + impression was, that he would scorn even to avail himself of their + hospitality. Like most of his brethren, he could not live without the + poteen; and his custom was, to drink a pint of it in its native purity + before he entered into any literary contest, or made any display of his + learning at wakes or other Irish festivities; and most certainly, however + blamable the practice, and injurious to health and morals, it threw out + his talents and his powers in a most surprising manner. + </p> + <p> + It was highly amusing to observe the peculiarity which the consciousness + of superior knowledge impressed upon the conversation and personal + appearance of this decaying race. Whatever might have been the original + conformation of their physical structure, it was sure, by the force of + acquired habit, to transform itself into a stiff, erect, consequential, + and unbending manner, ludicrously characteristic of an inflated sense of + their extraordinary knowledge, and a proud and commiserating contempt of + the dark ignorance by which, in despite of their own light, they were + surrounded. Their conversation, like their own <i>crambos</i>, was dark + and difficult to be understood; their words, truly sesquipedalian; their + voice, loud and commanding in its tones; their deportment, grave and + dictatorial, but completely indescribable, and certainly original to the + last degree, in those instances where the ready, genuine humor of their + country maintained an unyielding rivalry in their disposition, against the + natural solemnity which was considered necessary to keep up the due + dignity of their character. + </p> + <p> + In many of these persons, where the original gayety of the disposition was + known, all efforts at the grave and dignified were complete failures, and + these were enjoyed by the peasantry and their own pupils, nearly with the + sensations which the enactment of Hamlet by Liston would necessarily + produce. At all events, their education, allowing for the usual + exceptions, was by no means superficial; and the reader has already + received a sketch of the trials which they had to undergo, before they + considered themselves qualified to enter upon the duties of their calling. + Their life was, in fact, a state of literary warfare; and they felt that a + mere elementary knowledge of their business would have been insufficient + to carry them, with suitable credit, through the attacks to which they + were exposed from travelling teachers, whose mode of establishing + themselves in schools, was, as I said, by driving away the less qualified, + and usurping their places. This, according to the law of opinion and the + custom which prevailed, was very easily effected, for the peasantry + uniformly encouraged those whom they supposed to be the most competent; as + to moral or religious instruction, neither was expected from them, so that + the indifference of the moral character was no bar to their success. + </p> + <p> + The village of Findramore was situated at the foot of a long green hill, + the outline of which formed a low arch, as it rose to the eye against the + horizon. This hill was studded with clumps of beeches, and sometimes + enclosed as a meadow. In the month of July, when the grass on it was long, + many an hour have I spent in solitary enjoyment, watching the wavy motion + produced upon its pliant surface by the sunny winds, or the flight of the + cloud-shadows, like gigantic phantoms, as they swept rapidly over it, + whilst the murmur of the rocking-trees, and the glancing of their bright + leaves in the sun produced a heartfelt pleasure, the very memory of which + rises in my imagination like some fading recollection of a brighter world. + At the foot of this hill ran a clear, deep-banked river, bounded on one + side by a slip of rich, level meadow, and on the other by a kind of common + for the village geese, whose white feathers, during the summer season, lay + scattered over its green surface. It was also the play-ground for the boys + of the village school; for there ran that part of the river which, with + very correct judgment, the urchins had selected as their bathing-place. A + little slope, or watering-ground in the bank, brought them to the edge of + the stream, where the bottom fell away into the fearful depths of the + whirlpool, under the hanging oak on the other bank. Well do I remember the + first time I ventured to swim across it, and even yet do I see, in + imagination, the two bunches of water flaggons on which the inexperienced + swimmers trusted themselves in the water. + </p> + <p> + About two hundred yards from this, the boreen (* A little road) which led + from the village to the main road, crossed the river, by one of those old + narrow bridges whose arches rise like round ditches across the road—an + almost impassable barrier to horse and car. On passing the bridge in a + northern direction, you found a range of low thatched houses on each side + of the road: and if one o'clock, the hour of dinner, drew near, you might + observe columns of blue smoke curling up from a row of chimneys, some made + of wicker creels plastered over with a rich coat of mud; some, of old, + narrow, bottomless tubs; and others, with a greater appearance of taste, + ornamented with thick, circular ropes of straw, sewed together like bees' + skeps, with a peel of a briar; and many having nothing but the open vent + above. But the smoke by no means escaped by its legitimate aperture, for + you might observe little clouds of it bursting out of the doors and + windows; the panes of the latter being mostly stopped at other times with + old hats and rags, were now left entirely open for the purpose of giving + it a free escape. + </p> + <p> + Before the doors, on right and left, was a series of dunghills, each with + its concomitant sink of green, rotten water; and if it happened that a + stout-looking woman, with watery eyes, and a yellow cap hung loosely upon + her matted locks, came, with a chubby urchin on one arm, and a pot of + dirty water in her hand, its unceremonious ejection in the aforesaid sink + would be apt to send you up the village with your finger and thumb (for + what purpose you would yourself perfectly understand) closely, but not + knowingly, applied to your nostrils. But, independently of this, you would + be apt to have other reasons for giving your horse, whose heels are by + this time surrounded by a dozen of barking curs, and the same number of + shouting urchins, a pretty sharp touch of the spurs, as well as for + complaining bitterly of the odor of the atmosphere. It is no landscape + without figures; and you might notice, if you are, as I suppose you to be, + a man of observation, in every sink as you pass along, a “slip of a pig,” + stretched in the middle of the mud, the very beau ideal of luxury, giving + occasionally a long, luxuriant grunt, highly-expressive of his enjoyment; + or, perhaps, an old farrower, lying in indolent repose, with half a dozen + young ones jostling each other for their draught, and punching her belly + with their little snouts, reckless of the fumes they are creating; whilst + the loud crow of the cock, as he confidently flaps his wings on his own + dunghill, gives the warning note for the hour of dinner. + </p> + <p> + As you advance, you will also perceive several faces thrust out of the + doors, and rather than miss a sight of you, a grotesque visage peeping by + a short cut through the paneless windows—or a tattered female flying + to snatch up her urchin that has been tumbling itself, heels up, in the + dust of the road, lest “the gentleman's horse might ride over it;” and if + you happen to look behind, you may observe a shaggy-headed youth in + tattered frieze, with one hand thrust indolently in his breast, standing + at the door in conversation with the inmates, a broad grin of sarcastic + ridicule on his face, in the act of breaking a joke or two upon yourself, + or your horse; or perhaps, your jaw may be saluted with a lump of clay, + just hard enough not to fall asunder as it flies, cast by some ragged + gorsoon from behind a hedge, who squats himself in a ridge of corn to + avoid detection. + </p> + <p> + Seated upon a hob at the door, you may observe a toil-worn man, without + coat or waistcoat; his red, muscular, sunburnt shoulder peering through + the remnant of a skirt, mending his shoes with a piece of twisted flax, + called a <i>lingel</i>, or, perhaps, sewing two footless stockings (or <i>martyeens</i>) + to his coat, as a substitute for sleeves. + </p> + <p> + In the gardens, which are usually fringed with nettles, you will see a + solitary laborer, working with that carelessness and apathy that + characterizes an Irishman when he labors for himself—leaning upon + his spade to look after you, glad of any excuse to be idle. The houses, + however, are not all such as I have described—far from it. You see + here and there, between the more humble cabins, a stout, + comfortable-looking farm-house, with ornamental thatching and well-glazed + windows; adjoining to which is a hay-yard, with five or six large stacks + of corn, well-trimmed and roped, and a fine, yellow, weather-beaten old + hay-rick, half cut—not taking into account twelve or thirteen + circular strata of stones, that mark out the foundations on which others + had been raised. Neither is the rich smell of oaten or wheaten bread, + which the good wife is baking on the griddle, unpleasant to your nostrils; + nor would the bubbling of a large pot, in which you might see, should you + chance to enter, a prodigious square of fat, yellow, and almost + transparent bacon tumbling about, to be an unpleasant object; truly, as it + hangs over a large fire, with well-swept hearthstone, it is in good + keeping with the white settle and chairs, and the dresser with noggins, + wooden trenchers, and pewter dishes, perfectly clean, and as well polished + as a French courtier. + </p> + <p> + As you leave the village, you have, to the left, a view of the hill which + I have already described, and to the right a level expanse of fertile + country, bounded by a good view of respectable mountains, peering decently + into the sky; and in a line that forms an acute angle from the point of + the road where you ride, is a delightful valley, in the bottom of which + shines a pretty lake; and a little beyond, on the slope of a green hill, + rises a splendid house, surrounded by a park, well wooded and stocked with + deer. You have now topped the little hill above the village, and a + straight line of level road, a mile long, goes forward to a country town, + which lies immediately behind that white church, with its spire cutting + into the sky, before you. You descend on the other side, and, having + advanced a few perches, look to the left, where you see a long, thatched + chapel, only distinguished from a dwelling-house by its want of chimneys + and a small stone cross that stands on the top of the eastern gable; + behind it is a graveyard; and beside it a snug public-house, well + whitewashed; then, to the right, you observe a door apparently in the side + of a clay bank, which rises considerably above the pavement of the road. + What! you ask yourself, can this be a human habitation?—but ere you + have time to answer the question, a confused buzz of voices from within + reaches your ear, and the appearance of a little “gorsoon,” with a red, + close-cropped head and Milesian face, having in his hand a short, white + stick, or the thigh-bone of a horse, which you at once recognize as “the + pass” of a village school, gives you the full information. He has an ink + horn, covered with leather, dangling at the button-hole (for he has long + since played away the buttons) of his frieze jacket—his mouth is + circumscribed with a streak of ink—his pen is stuck knowingly behind + his ear—his shins are dotted over with fire-blisters, black, red, + and blue—on each heel a kibe—his “leather crackers,” videlicet—breeches + shrunk up upon him, and only reaching as far down as the caps of his + knees. Having spied you, he places his hand over his brows, to throw back + the dazzling light of the sun, and peers at you from under it, till he + breaks out into a laugh, exclaiming, half to himself, half to you:— + </p> + <p> + “You a gintleman!—no, nor one of your breed never was, you + procthorin' thief, you!” + </p> + <p> + You are now immediately opposite the door of the seminary, when half a + dozen of those seated next it notice you. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, sir, here's a gintleman on a horse!—masther, sir, here's + a-gintleman on a horse, wid boots and spurs on him, that's looking in at + us.” + </p> + <p> + “Silence!” exclaims the master; “back from the door; boys, rehearse; every + one of you, rehearse, I say, you Boeotians, till the gintleman goes past!” + </p> + <p> + “I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “No, you don't, Phelim.” + </p> + <p> + “I do, indeed, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “What!—is it after conthradictin' me you'd be? Don't you see the + 'porter's' out, and you can't go.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, 'tis Mat Meehan has it, sir: and he's out this half-hour, sir; I + can't stay in, sir—iplrfff—iphfff!” + </p> + <p> + “You want to be idling your time looking at the gintleman, Phelim.” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed, sir—iphfff!” + </p> + <p> + “Phelim, I know you of ould—go to your sate. I tell you, Phelim, you + were born for the encouragement of the hemp manufacture, and you'll die + promoting it.” + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, the master puts his head out of the door, his body + stooped to a “half bend”—a phrase, and the exact curve which it + forms, I leave for the present to your own sagacity—and surveys you + until you pass. That is an Irish hedge school, and the personage who + follows you with his eye, a hedge schoolmaster. His name is Matthew + Kavanagh; and, as you seem to consider his literary establishment rather a + curiosity in its kind, I will, if you be disposed to hear it, give you the + history of him and his establishment, beginning, in the first place, with + </p> + <p> + THE ABDUCTION OF MAT KAVANAGH, THE HEDGE SCHOOLMASTER. + </p> + <p> + For about three years before the period of which I write, the village of + Findramore, and the parish in which it lay, were without a teacher. Mat's + predecessor was a James Garraghty, a lame young man, the son of a widow, + whose husband lost his life in attempting to extinguish a fire that broke + out in the dwelling-house of Squire Johnston, a neighboring magistrate. + The son was a boy at the time of this disaster, and the Squire, as some + compensation for the loss of his father's life in his service, had him + educated at his own expense; that is to say, he gave the master who taught + in the village orders to educate him gratuitously, on the condition of + being horsewhipped out of the parish, if he refused. As soon as he + considered himself qualified to teach, he opened a school in the village + on his own account, where he taught until his death, which happened in + less than a year after the commencement of his little seminary. The + children usually assembled in his mother's cabin; but as she did not long + survive the son, this, which was at best a very miserable residence, soon + tottered to the ground. The roof and thatch were burnt for firing, the mud + gables fell in, and were overgrown with grass, nettles, and docks; and + nothing remained but a foot or two of the little clay side-walls, which + presented, when associated with the calamitous fate of their inoffensive + inmates, rather a touching image of ruin upon a small scale. + </p> + <p> + Garraghty had been attentive to his little pupils, and his instructions + were sufficient to give them a relish for education—a circumstance + which did not escape the observation of their parents, who duly + appreciated it. His death, however, deprived them of this advantage; and + as schoolmasters, under the old system, were always at a premium, it so + happened, that for three years afterwards, not one of that class presented + himself to their acceptance. Many a trial had been made, and many a sly + offer held out, as a lure to the neighboring teachers, but they did not + take; for although the country was densely inhabited, yet it was remarked + that no schoolmaster ever “thruv” in the neighborhood of Findramore. The + place, in fact, had got a bad name. Garraghty died, it was thought, of + poverty, a disease to which the Findramore schoolmasters had been always + known to be subject. His predecessor, too, was hanged, along with two + others, for burning the house of an “Aagint.” + </p> + <p> + Then the Findramore boys were not easily dealt with, having an ugly habit + of involving their unlucky teachers in those quarrels which they kept up + with the Ballyscanlan boys, a fighting clan that lived at the foot of the + mountains above them. These two factions, when they met, whether at fair + or market, wake or wedding, could never part without carrying home on each + side a dozen or two of bloody coxcombs. For these reasons, the parish of + Aughindrum had for a few years been afflicted with an extraordinary dearth + of knowledge; the only literary establishment which flourished in it being + a parochial institution, which, however excellent in design, yet, like too + many establishments of the same nature, it degenerated into a source of + knowledge, morals, and education, exceedingly dry and unproductive to + every person except the master, who was enabled by his honest industry to + make a provision for his family absolutely surprising, when we consider + the moderate nature of his ostensible income. It was, in fact, like a well + dried up, to which scarcely any one ever thinks of going for water. + </p> + <p> + Such a state of things, however, could not last long. The youth of + Findramore were parched for want of the dew of knowledge; and their + parents and grown brethren met one Saturday evening in Barny Brady's + shebeen-house, to take into consideration the best means for procuring a + resident schoolmaster for the village and neighborhood. It was a difficult + point, and required great dexterity of management to enable them to devise + any effectual remedy for the evil which they felt. There were present at + this council, Tim Dolan, the senior of the village, and his three sons, + Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, Owen Roe O'Neil, Jack Traynor, and + Andy Connell, with five or six others, whom it is not necessary to + enumerate. + </p> + <p> + “Bring us in a quart, Barny,” said Dolan to Brady, whom on this occasion + we must designate as the host; “and let it be rale hathen.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mane, Tim?” replied the host. + </p> + <p> + “I mane,” continued Dolan, “stuff that was never christened, man alive.” + </p> + <p> + “Thin I'll bring you the same that Father Maguire got last night on his + way home afther anointin' 'ould Katty Duffy,” replied Brady. “I'm sure, + whatever I might be afther giving to strangers, Tim, I'd be long sorry to + give <i>yous</i> anything but the right sort.” + </p> + <p> + “That's a gay man, Barny,” said Traynor, “but off wid you like a shot, and + let us get it under our tooth first, an' then we'll tell you more about it—A + big rogue is the same Barny,” he added, after Brady had gone to bring in + the poteen, “an' never sells a dhrop that's not one whiskey and five + wathers.” + </p> + <p> + “But he couldn't expose it on you; Jack,” observed Connell; “you're too + ould a hand about the pot for that. Warn't you in the mountains last + week?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay: but the curse of Cromwell upon the thief of a gauger, Simpson—himself + and a pack o' redcoats surrounded us when we war beginnin' to double, and + the purtiest runnin' that ever you seen was lost; for you see, before you + could cross yourself, we had the bottoms knocked clane out of the vessels; + so that the villains didn't get a hole in our coats, as they thought they + would.” + </p> + <p> + “I tell you,” observed O'Neil, “there's a bad pill* somewhere about us.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * This means a treacherous person who cannot depended + upon. +</pre> + <p> + “Ay, is there, Owen,” replied Traynor; “and what is more, I don't think + he's a hundhre miles from the place where we're sittin' in.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, maybe so Jack,” returned the other. + </p> + <p> + “I'd never give into that,” said Murphy. “'Tis Barny Brady that would + never turn informer—the same thing isn't in him, nor in any of his + breed; there's not a man in the parish I'd thrust sooner.” + </p> + <p> + “I'd jist thrust him,” replied Traynor, “as far as I could throw a cow by + the tail. Arrah, what's the rason that the gauger never looks next or near + his place, an' it's well known that he sells poteen widout a license, + though he goes past his door wanst a week?” + </p> + <p> + “What the h—— is keepin' him at all?” inquired one of Dolan's + sons. + </p> + <p> + “Look at him,” said Traynor, “comin' in out of the garden; how much afeard + he is! keepin' the whiskey in a phatie ridge—an' I'd kiss the book + that he brought that bottle out in his pocket, instead of diggin' it up + out o' the garden.” + </p> + <p> + Whatever Brady's usual habits of <i>christening</i> his poteen might have + been, that which he now placed before them was good. He laid the bottle on + a little deal table with cross legs, and along with it a small drinking + glass fixed in a bit of flat circular wood, as a substitute for the + original bottom, which had been broken. They now entered upon the point, + in question, without further delay. + </p> + <p> + “Come, Tim,” said Coogan, “you're the ouldest man, and must spake first.” + </p> + <p> + “Troth, man,” replied Dolan, “beggin' your pardon, I'll dhrink first—healths + apiece, your sowl; success boys—glory to ourselves, and confusion to + the Scanlon boys, any way.” + </p> + <p> + “And maybe,” observed Connell, “'tis we that didn't lick them well in the + last fair—they're not able to meet the Findramore birds even on + their own walk.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, boys,” said Delany, “about the masther? Our childre will grow up + like bullockeens (* little bullocks) widout knowing a ha'porth; and + larning, you see, is a burdyen that's asy carried.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” observed O'Neil, “as Solvester Maguire, the poet, used to say— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 'Labor for larnin, before you grow ould, + For larnin' is better nor riches nor gould; + Riches an' gould they may vanquish away, + But larnin' alone it will never decay.'” + </pre> + <p> + “Success, Owen! Why, you might put down the pot and warm an air to it,” + said Murphy. + </p> + <p> + “Well, boys, are we all safe?” asked Traynor. + </p> + <p> + “Safe?” said old Dolan. “Arrah, what are you talkin' about? Sure 'tisn't + of that same spalpeen of a gauger that we'd be afraid!” + </p> + <p> + During this observation, young Dolan pressed Traynor's foot under the + table, and they both went out for about five minutes. + </p> + <p> + “Father,” said the son, when he and Traynor re-entered the room, “you're a + wanting home.” + </p> + <p> + “Who wants me, Larry, avick?” says the father. + </p> + <p> + The son immediately whispered to him for a moment, when the old man + instantly rose, got his hat, and after drinking another bumper of the + poteen, departed. + </p> + <p> + “Twas hardly worth while,” said Delany; “the ould fellow is mettle to the + back-bone, an' would never show the garran-bane at any rate, even if he + knew all about it.” + </p> + <p> + “Bad end to the syllable I'd let the same ould cock hear,” said the son; + “the divil thrust any man that didn't switch the primer (* take and oath) + for it, though he is my father; but now, boys, that the coast's clear, and + all safe—where will we get a schoolmaster? Mat Kavanagh won't budge + from the Scanlon boys, even if we war to put our hands undher his feet; + and small blame to him—sure, you would not expect him to go against + his own friends?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, the gorsoons is in a bad state,” said Murphy; “but, boys where + will we get a man that's up? Why I know 'tis betther to have anybody nor + be without one; but we might kill two birds wid one stone—if we + could get a masther that would carry 'Articles,' * an' swear in the boys, + from time to time—an' between ourselves, if there's any danger of + the hemp, we may as well lay it upon strange shoulders.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * A copy of the Whiteboy oath and regulations. +</pre> + <p> + “Ay, but since Corrigan swung for the Aagint,” replied Delaney, “they're a + little modest in havin' act or part wid us; but the best plan is to get an + advartisement wrote out, an' have it posted on the chapel door.” + </p> + <p> + This hint was debated with much earnestness; but as they were really + anxious to have a master—in the first place, for the simple purpose + of educating their children; and in the next, for filling the situation of + director and regulator of their illegal Ribbon meetings—they + determined on penning an advertisement, according to the suggestion of + Delaney. After drinking another bottle, and amusing themselves with some + further chat, one of the Dolans undertook to draw up the advertisement, + which ran as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “ADVARTAAISEMENT.” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Notes to Schoolmasthers, and to all others whom it may consarn</i>. + </p> + <p> + “WANTED, + </p> + <p> + “For the nabourhood and the vircinity of the Townland of Findramore, in + the Parish of Aughindrum, in the Barony of Lisnamoghry, County of Sligo, + Province of Connaught, Ireland. + </p> + <p> + “TO SCHOOLMASTERS.' + </p> + <p> + “Take Notes—That any Schoolmaster who understands Spellin' + gramatically—Readin' and Writin', in the raal way, accordin' to the + Dixonary—Arithmatick, that is to say, the five common rules, namely, + addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division—and addition, + subtraction, multiplication, and division, of Dives's denominations. Also + reduction up and down—cross multiplication of coin—the Rule of + Three Direck—the Rule of Three in verse—the double Rule of + Three—Frackshins taught according to the vulgar and decimatin' + method; and must be well practised to tache the Findramore boys how to + manage the Scuffle.* + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The Scuffle was an exercise in fractions, illustrated + by a quarrel between the first four letters of the + alphabet, who went to loggerheads about a sugar-plum. + A, for instance, seized upon three-fourths of it; but B + snapped two-thirds of what he had got, and put it into + his hat; C then knocked off his hat, and as worthy Mr. + Gough says, “to Work they went.” After kicking and + cuffing each other in prime style, each now losing and + again gaining alternately, the question is wound up by + requiring the pupil to ascertain what quantity of the + sugar-plum each had at the close. +</pre> + <p> + “N.B. He must be will grounded in <i>that</i>. Practis, Discount, and <i>Rebatin'</i>. + N.B. Must be well grounded in that also. + </p> + <p> + “Tret and Tare—Fellowship—Allegation—Barther—Rates + per Scent—Intherest—Exchange—Prophet in Loss—the + Square root—the Kibe Root—Hippothenuse—'Arithmatical and + Jommetrical Purgation—Compound Intherest—Loggerheadism—Questions + for exercise, and the Conendix to Algibbra. He must also know Jommithry + accordin' to Grunther's scale—the Castigation of the Klipsticks—Surveying, + and the use of the Jacob-staff. + </p> + <p> + “N.B. Would get a good dale of Surveyin' to do in the vircinity of + Findramore, particularly in <i>Con-acre</i> time. If he know the use of + the globe, it would be an accusation. He must also understand the Three + Sets of Book-keeping, by single and double entry, particularly Loftus + & Company of Paris, their Account of Cash and Company. And above all + things, he must know how to tache the <i>Sarvin' of Mass</i> in Latin, and + be able to read Doctor Gallaher's Irish Sarmints, and explain Kolumkill's + and Pasterini's Prophecies. + </p> + <p> + “N.B. If he understands <i>Cudgel-fencin'</i>, it would be an accusation + also—but mustn't tache us wid a staff that bends in the middle, + bekase it breaks one's head across the guard. Any schoolmaster capacious + and collified to instruct in the above-mintioned branches, would get a + good school in the townland Findramore and its vircinity, be well fed, an' + get the hoith o' good livin' among the farmers, an' would be ped— + </p> + <p> + “For Book-keepin', the three sets, <i>a ginny and half</i>.' + </p> + <p> + “For Gommethry, &c, <i>half a qinny a quarther</i>. + </p> + <p> + “Arithmatic, <i>aight and three-hapuns</i>. + </p> + <p> + “Readin”, Writin', &c, <i>six Hogs</i>. + </p> + <p> + “Given under our hands, this 37th day of June, 18004. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Larry Dolan. + “Dick Dolan, his (X) mark. + “Jem Coogan, his (X) mark. + “Brine Murphey. + “Paddy Delany, his (X) mark. + “Jack Traynor. + “Andy Connell. + “Owen Roe O'Neil, his (X) mark.” + </pre> + <p> + “N.B. <i>By making airly application to any of the undher-mintioned, he + will hear of further particklers</i>; and if they find that he will shoot + them, he may expect the best o' thratement, an' be well fed among the + farmers.* + </p> + <p> + “N.B. Would get also a good <i>Night-school</i> among the vircinity.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Nothing can more decidedly prove the singular and + extraordinary thirst for education and general + knowledge which characterizes the Irish people, than + the shifts to which they have often gone in order to + gain even a limited portion of instruction. Of this the + Irish Night School is a complete illustration. The + Night School was always opened either for those of + early age, who from their poverty were forced to earn + something for their own support during the day; or to + assist their parents; or for grown young men who had + never had an opportunity of acquiring education in + their youth, but who now devoted a couple of hours + during a winter's night, when they could do nothing + else, to the acquisition of reading and writing, and + sometimes of accounts. I know not how it was, but the + Night School boys, although often thrown into the way + of temptation, always conducted themselves with + singular propriety. Indeed, the fact is, after all, + pretty easily accounted for—inasmuch as none but the + steadiest, <i>most</i> sensible, and best conducted young + men ever attended it. +</pre> + <p> + Having penned the above advertisement, it was carefully posted early the + next morning on the chapel-doors, with an expectation on the part of the + patrons that it would not be wholly fruitless. The next week, however, + passed without an application—the second also—and the third + produced the same result; nor was there the slightest prospect of a + school-master being blown by any wind to the lovers of learning at + Findramore. In the meantime, the Ballyscanlan boys took care to keep up + the ill-natured prejudice which had been circulated concerning the + fatality that uniformly attended such schoolmasters as settled there; and + when this came to the ears of the Findramore folk, it was once more + resolved that the advertisement should be again put up, with a clause + containing an explanation on that point. The clause ran as follows: + </p> + <p> + “N.B.—The two last masthers that was hanged out of Findramore, that + is, Mickey Corrigan, who was hanged for killing the Aagent, and Jem + Garraghty, that died of a declension—Jem died in consequence of + ill-health, and Mickey was hanged contrary to his own wishes; so that it + wasn't either of their faults—as witness our hands this 207th of + July. + </p> + <p> + “Dick Dolan, his (X) mark.” + </p> + <p> + This explanation, however, was as fruitless as the original advertisement; + and week after week passed over without an offer from a single candidate. + The “vicinity” of Findramore and its “naborhood” seemed devoted to + ignorance; and nothing remained, except another effort at procuring a + master by some more ingenious contrivance. + </p> + <p> + Debate after debate was consequently held in Barney Brady's; and, until a + fresh suggestion was made by Delany, the prospect seemed as bad as ever. + Delany, at length fell upon a new plan; and it must be confessed, that it + was marked in a peculiar manner by a spirit of great originality and + enterprise, it being nothing less than a proposal to carry off, by force + or stratagem, Mat Kavanagh, who was at that time fixed in the throne of + literature among the Ballyscanlan boys, quite unconscious of the honorable + translation to the neighborhood of Findramore which was intended for him. + The project, when broached, was certainly a startling one, and drove most + of them to a pause, before they were sufficiently collected to give an + opinion on its merits. + </p> + <p> + “Nothin', boys, is asier,” said Delaney. “There's to be a patthern in + Ballymagowan, on next Sathurday—an' that's jist half way betune + ourselves and the Scanlan boys. Let us musther, an' go there, any how. We + can keep an eye on Mat widout much trouble, an' when opportunity sarves, + nick him at wanst, an' off wid him clane.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Traynor, “what would we do wid him when he'd be here? Wouldn't + he cut an' run the first opportunity. + </p> + <p> + “How can he, ye omadhawn, if we put a manwill* in our pocket, an' sware + him? But we'll butther him up when he's among us; or, be me sowks, if it + goes that, force him either to settle wid ourselves, or to make himself + scarce in the country entirely.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Manual, a Roman Catholic prayer-book, generally + pronounced as above. +</pre> + <p> + “Divil a much force it'll take to keep him, I'm thinkin',” observed + Murphy. “He'll have three times a betther school here; and if he wanst + settled, I'll engage he would take to it kindly.” + </p> + <p> + “See here, boys,” says Dick Dolan, in a whisper, “if that bloody villain, + Brady, isn't afther standin' this quarter of an hour, strivin' to hear + what we're about; but it's well we didn't bring up anything consarnin' the + other business; didn't I tell yees the desate was in 'im? Look at his + shadow on the wall forninst us.” + </p> + <p> + “Hould yer tongues, boys,” said Traynor; “jist keep never mindin', and, be + me sowks, I'll make him sup sorrow for that thrick.” + </p> + <p> + “You had betther neither make nor meddle wid him,” observed Delany, “jist + put him out o' that—but don't rise yer hand to him, or he'll sarve + you as he did Jem Flannagan: put ye three or four months in the <i>Stone + Jug</i>” (* Gaol). + </p> + <p> + Traynor, however, had gone out while he was speaking, and in a few minutes + dragged in Brady, whom he caught in the very act of eaves-dropping. + </p> + <p> + “Jist come in, Brady,” said Traynor, as he dragged him along; “walk in, + man alive; sure, and sich an honest man as you are needn't be afeard of + lookin' his friends in the face! Ho!—an' be me sowl, is it a spy + we've got; and, I suppose, would be an informer' too, if he had heard + anything to tell!” + </p> + <p> + “What's the manin' of this, boys?” exclaimed the others, feigning + ignorance. “Let the honest man go, Traynor. What do ye hawl him that way + for, ye gallis pet'?” + </p> + <p> + “Honest!” replied Traynor; “how very honest he is, the desavin' villain, + to be stand-in' at the windy there, wantin' to overhear the little + harmless talk we had.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, Traynor,” said Brady, seizing him in his turn by the neck, “take + your hands off of me, or, bad fate to me, but I'll lave ye a mark.” + </p> + <p> + Traynor, in his turn, had his hand twisted in Brady's cravat, which he + drew tightly about his neck, until the other got nearly black in the face. + </p> + <p> + “Let me go you villain!” exclaimed Brady, “or, by this blessed night + that's in it, it'll be worse for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Villain, is it?” replied Traynor, making a blow at him, whilst Brady + snatched, at a penknife, which one of the others had placed on the table, + after picking the tobacco out of his pipe—intending either to stab + Traynor, or to cut the knot of the cravat by which he was held. The + others, however, interfered, and presented further mischief. + </p> + <p> + “Brady,” said Traynor, “you'll rue this night, if ever a man did, you + tracherous in-formin' villian. What an honest spy we have among us!—and + a short coorse to you!” + </p> + <p> + “O, hould yer tongue, Traynor!” replied Brady: “I believe it's best known + who is both the spy and the informer. The divil a pint of poteen ever + you'll run in this parish, until you clear yourself of bringing the gauger + on the Tracys, bekase they tuck Mick M'Kew, in preference to yourself, to + run it for them.” + </p> + <p> + Traynor made another attempt to strike him, but was prevented. The rest + now interfered; and, in the course of an hour or so, an adjustment took + place. + </p> + <p> + Brady took up the tongs, and swore “by that blessed iron,” that he neither + heard, nor intended to hear, anything they said; and this exculpation was + followed by a fresh bottle at his own expense. + </p> + <p> + “You omadhawn,” said he to Traynor, “I was only puttin' up a dozen o' + bottles into the tatch of the house, when you thought I was listenin';” + and, as a proof of the truth of this, he brought them out, and showed them + some bottles of poteen, neatly covered up under the thatch. + </p> + <p> + Before their separation they finally planned the abduction of Kavanagh + from the Patron, on the Saturday following, and after drinking another + round went home to their respective dwellings. + </p> + <p> + In this speculation, however, they experienced a fresh disappointment; + for, ere Saturday arrived, whether in consequence of secret intimation of + their intention from Brady, or some friend, or in compliance with the + offer of a better situation, the fact was, that Mat Kavanagh had removed + to another school, distant about eighteen miles from Findramore. But they + were not to be outdone; a new plan was laid, and in the course of the next + week a dozen of the most enterprising and intrepid of the “boys,” mounted + each upon a good horse, went to Mat's new residence for the express + purpose of securing him. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps our readers may scarcely believe that a love of learning was so + strong among the inhabitants of Findramore as to occasion their taking + such remarkable steps for establishing a schoolmaster among them; but the + country was densely inhabited, the rising population exceedingly numerous, + and the outcry for a schoolmaster amongst the parents of the children loud + and importunate. + </p> + <p> + The fact, therefore, was, that a very strong motive stimulated the + inhabitants of Findramore in their efforts to procure a master. The old + and middle-aged heads of families were actuated by a simple wish, + inseparable from Irishmen, to have their children educated; and the young + men, by a determination to have a properly qualified person to conduct + their Night Schools, and improve them in their reading, writing, and + arithmetic. The circumstance I am now relating is one which actually took + place: and any man acquainted with the remote parts of Ireland, may have + often seen bloody and obstinate quarrels among the peasantry, in + vindicating a priority of claim to the local residence of a schoolmaster + among them. I could, within my own experience, relate two or three + instances of this nature. + </p> + <p> + It was one Saturday night, in the latter end of the month of May, that a + dozen Findramore “boys,” as they were called, set out upon this most + singular of all literary speculations, resolved, at whatever risk, to + secure the person and effect the permanent bodily presence among them of + the Redoubtable Mat Kavanagh. Each man was mounted on a horse, and one of + them brought a spare steed for the accommodation of the schoolmaster. The + caparison of this horse was somewhat remarkable: wooden straddle, such as + used by the peasantry for carrying wicker paniers creels, which are hung + upon two wooden pins, that stand up out of its sides. Underneath was a + straw mat, to prevent the horse's back from being stripped by it. On one + side of this hung a large creel, and on the other a strong sack, tied + round a stone merely of sufficient weight to balance the empty creel. The + night was warm and clear, the moon and stars all threw their mellow light + from a serene, unclouded sky, and the repose of nature in the short nights + of this delightful season, resembles that of a young virgin of sixteen—still, + light, and glowing. Their way, for the most part of their journey, lay + through a solitary mountain-road; and, as they did not undertake the + enterprise without a good stock of poteen, their light-hearted songs and + choruses awoke the echoes that slept in the mountain glens as they went + along. The adventure, it is true, had as much of frolic as of seriousness + in it; and merely as the means of a day's fun for the boys, it was the + more eagerly entered into. + </p> + <p> + It was about midnight when they left home, and as they did not wish to + arrive at the village to which they were bound, until the morning should + be rather advanced, the journey was as slowly performed as possible. Every + remarkable object on the way was noticed, and its history, if any + particular association was connected with it, minutely detailed, whenever + it happened to be known. When the sun rose, many beautiful green spots and + hawthorn valleys excited, even from these unpolished and illiterate + peasants, warm bursts of admiration at their fragrance and beauty. In some + places, the dark flowery heath clothed the mountains to the tops, from + which the gray mists, lit by a flood of light, and breaking into masses + before the morning breeze, began to descend into the valleys beneath them; + whilst the voice of the grouse, the bleating of sheep and lambs, the + pee-weet of the wheeling lap-wing, and the song of the lark threw life and + animation the previous stillness of the country, sometimes a shallow river + would cross the road winding off into a valley that was overhung, on one + side, by rugged precipices clothed with luxurious heath and wild ash; + whilst on the other it was skirted by a long sweep of greensward, skimmed + by the twittering swallow, over which lay scattered numbers of sheep, + cows, brood mares, and colts—many of them rising and stretching + themselves ere they resumed their pasture, leaving the spots on which they + lay of a deeper green. Occasionally, too, a sly-looking fox might be seen + lurking about a solitary lamb, or brushing over the hills with a fat goose + upon his back, retreating to his den among the inaccessible rocks, after + having plundered some unsuspecting farmer. + </p> + <p> + As they advanced into the skirts of the cultivated country, they met many + other beautiful spots of scenery among the upland, considerable portions + of which, particularly in long sloping valleys, that faced the morning + sun, were covered with hazel and brushwood, where the unceasing and simple + notes of the cuckoo were incessantly plied, mingled with the more mellow + and varied notes of the thrush and blackbird. Sometimes the bright summer + waterfall seemed, in the rays of the sun, like a column of light, and the + springs that issued from the sides of the more distant and lofty mountains + shone with a steady, dazzling brightness, on which the eye could scarcely + rest. The morning, indeed, was beautiful, the fields in bloom, and every + thing cheerful. As the sun rose in the heavens, nature began gradually to + awaken into life and happiness; nor was the natural grandeur of a Sabbath + summer morning among these piles of magnificent mountains—nor its + heartfelt, but more artificial beauty in the cultivated country, lost, + even upon the unphilosophical “boys” of Findramore; so true is it, that + such exquisite appearances of nature will force enjoyment upon the most + uncultivated heart. + </p> + <p> + When they had arrived within two miles of the little town in which Mat + Kavanagh was fixed, they turned off into a deep glen, a little to the + left; and, after having seated themselves under a white-thorn which grew + on the banks of a rivulet, they began to devise the best immediate + measures to be taken. + </p> + <p> + “Boys,” said Tim Dolan, “how will we manage now with this thief of a + schoolmaster, at all? Come, Jack Traynor, you that's up to still-house + work—escapin' and carryin' away stills from gaugers, the bloody + villains! out wid yer spake, till we hear your opinion.” + </p> + <p> + “Do ye think, boys,” said Andy Connell, “that we could flatter him to come + by fair mains?” + </p> + <p> + “Flatther him!” said Traynor; “and, by my sowl, if we flatther him at all, + it must be by the hair of the head. No, no; let us bring him first, + whether he will or not, an' ax his consent aftherwards!” + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell you what it is, boys,” continued Connell, “I'll hould a wager, + if you lave him to me, I'll bring him wid his own consint.” + </p> + <p> + “No, nor sorra that you'll do, nor could do,” replied Traynor: “for, along + wid every thing else, he thinks he's not jist doated on by the Findramore + people, being one of the Ballyscanlan tribe. No, no; let two of us go to + his place, and purtind that we have other business in the fair of + Clansallagh on Monday next, and ax him in to dhrink, for he'll not refuse + that, any how; then, when he's half tipsy, ax him to convoy us this far; + we'll then meet you here, an' tell him some palaver or other—sit + down where we are now, and, afther making him dead dhrunk, hoist a big + stone in the creel, and Mat in the sack, on the other side, wid his head + out, and off wid him; and he will know neither act nor part about it till + we're at Findramore.” + </p> + <p> + Having approved of this project, they pulled out each a substantial + complement of stout oaten bread, which served, along with the whiskey, for + breakfast. The two persons pitched on for decoying Mat were Dolan and + Traynor, who accordingly set out, full of glee at the singularity and + drollness of their undertaking. It is unnecessary to detail the ingenuity + with which they went about it, because, in consequence of Kavanagh's love + of drink, very little ingenuity was necessary. One circumstance, however, + came to light, which gave them much encouragement, and that was a + discovery that Mat by no means relished his situation. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, those who stayed behind in the glen felt their patience + begin to flag a little, because of the delay made by the others, who had + promised, if possible, to have the schoolmaster in the glen before two + o'clock. But the fact was, that Mat, who was far less deficient in + hospitality than in learning, brought them into his house, and not only + treated them to plenty of whiskey, but made the wife prepare a dinner, for + which he detained them, swearing, that except they stopped to partake of + it, he would not convoy them to the place appointed. Evening was, + therefore, tolerably far advanced, when they made their appearance at the + glen, in a very equivocal state of sobriety—Mat being by far the + steadiest of the three, but still considerably the worse for what he had + taken. He was now welcomed by a general huzza; and on his expressing + surprise at their appearance, they pointed to their horses, telling him + that they were bound for the fair of Clansallagh, for the purpose of + selling them. This was the more probable, as, when a fair occurs in + Ireland, it is usual for cattle-dealers, particularly horse-jockeys, to + effect sales, and “show” their horses on the evening before. + </p> + <p> + Mat now sat down, and was vigorously plied with strong poteen—songs + were sung, stories told, and every device resorted to that was calculated + to draw out and heighten his sense of enjoyment; nor were their efforts + without success; for, in the course of a short time, Mat was free from all + earthly care, being incapable of either speaking or standing. + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys,” said Dolan, “let us do the thing clane an' dacent. Let you, + Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, and Andy O'Donnell, go back, and + tell the wife and two childher a cock-and-a-bull story about Mat—say + that he is coming to Findramore for good and all, and that'll be thruth, + you know; and that he ordhered yez to bring her and them afther him; and + we can come back for the furniture to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + A word was enough—they immediately set off; and the others, not + wishing that Mat's wife should witness the mode of his conveyance, + proceeded home, for it was now dusk. The plan succeeded admirably; and in + a short time the wife and children, mounted behind the “boys” on the + horses, were on the way after them to Findramore. + </p> + <p> + The reader is already aware of the plan they had adopted for translating + Mat; but, as it was extremely original, I will explain it somewhat more + fully. The moment the schoolmaster was intoxicated to the necessary point—that + is to say, totally helpless and insensible—they opened the sack and + put him in, heels foremost, tying it in such a way about his neck as might + prevent his head from getting into it: thus avoiding the danger of + suffocation. The sack, with Mat at full length in it, was then fixed to + the pin of the straddle, so that he was in an erect posture during the + whole journey. A creel was then hung at the other side, in which was + placed a large stone, of sufficient weight to preserve an equilibrium; + and, to prevent any accident, a droll fellow sat astride behind the + straddle, amusing himself and the rest by breaking jokes upon the novelty + of Mat's situation. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Mat, <i>ma bouchal</i>, how duv ye like your sitivation? I believe, + for all your larnin', the Findramore boys have sacked you at last!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/page831.jpg" + alt="Page 831-- the Findramore Boys Have Sacked You at Last " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + “Ay!” exclaimed another, “he is sacked at last, in spite of his + Matthew-maticks.” + </p> + <p> + “An', be my sowks,” observed Traynor, “he'd be a long time goin' up a + Maypowl in the state he's in—his own snail would bate him.” * + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * This alludes to a question in Gough's Arithmetic, + which is considered difficult by hedge schoolmasters. +</pre> + <p> + “Yes,” said another; “but he desarves credit for travelin' from + Clansallagh to Findramore, widout layin' a foot to the ground— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Wan day wid Captain Whiskey I wrastled a fall, + But faith I was no match for the captain at all— + But faith I was no match for the captain at all, + Though the landlady's measures they were damnable small. + Tooral, looral, looral lorral lido.' +</pre> + <p> + Whoo—hurroo! my darlings—success to the Findramore boys! + Hurroo—hurroo—the Findramore boys for ever!” + </p> + <p> + “Boys, did ever ye hear the song Mat made on Ned Mullen's fight wid Jemmy + Connor's gander? Well here is part of it, to the tune of 'Brian O'Lynn'— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 'As Ned and the gander wor basting each other, + I hard a loud cry from the gray goose, his mother; + I ran to assist him, wid very great speed. + But before I arrived the poor gander did bleed. + + 'Alas!' says the gander, 'I'm very ill-trated, + For traicherous Mullen has me fairly defated; + Bud had you been here for to show me fair play, + I could leather his <i>puckan</i> around the lee bray.' +</pre> + <p> + “Bravo! Matt,” addressing the insensible schoolmaster—“success, + poet. Hurroo for the Findramore boys! the Bridge boys for ever!” + </p> + <p> + They then commenced, in a tone of mock gravity, to lecture him upon his + future duties—detailing the advantages of his situation, and the + comforts he would enjoy among them—although they might as well have + addressed themselves to the stone on the other side. In this manner they + got along, amusing themselves at Mat's expense, and highly elated at the + success of their undertaking. About three o'clock in the morning they + reached the top of the little hill above the village, when, on looking + back along the level stretch of road which I have already described, they + noticed their companions, with Mat's wife and children, moving briskly + after them. A general huzza now took place, which, in a few minutes, was + answered by two or three dozen of the young folks, who were assembled in + Barny Brady's waiting for their arrival. The scene now became quite + animated—cheer after cheer succeeded—jokes, laughter, and + rustic wit, pointed by the spirit of Brady's poteen, flew briskly about. + When Mat was unsacked, several of them came up, and shaking him cordially + by the hand, welcomed him among them. To the kindness of this reception, + however, Mat was wholly insensible, having been for the greater part of + the journey in a profound sleep. The boys now slipped the loop of the sack + off the straddle-pin; and, carrying Mat into a farmer's house, they + deposited him in a settle-bed, where he slept unconscious of the journey + he had performed, until breakfast-time on the next morning. In the mean + time, the wife and children were taken care of by Mrs. Connell, who + provided them with a bed, and every other comfort which they could + require. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, when Mat awoke, his first call was for a drink. I should + have here observed, that Mrs. Kavanagh had been sent for by the good woman + in whose house Mat had slept, that they might all breakfast and have a + drop together, for they had already succeeded in reconciling her to the + change. “Wather!” said Mat—“a drink of wather, if it's to be had for + love or money, or I'll split wid druth—I'm all in a state of + conflagration; and my head—by the sowl of Newton, the inventor of + fluxions, but my head is a complete illucidation of the centrifugal + motion, so it is. Tundher-an'-turf! is there no wather to be had? Nancy, I + say, for God's sake, quicken yourself with the hydraulics, or the best + mathematician in Ireland's gone to the abode of Euclid and Pythagoras, + that first invented the multiplication table.” + </p> + <p> + On cooling his burning blood with the “hydraulics,” he again lay down with + the intention of composing himself for another sleep; but his eye having + noticed the novelty of his situation, he once more called Nancy. + </p> + <p> + “Nancy avourneen,” he inquired, “will you be afther resolving me one + single proposition.—Where am I at the present spaking? Is it in the + Siminary at home, Nancy?” Nancy, in the mean time, had been desired to + answer in the affirmative, hoping that if his mind was made easy on that + point, he might refresh himself by another hour or two's sleep, as he + appeared to be not at all free from the effects of his previous + intoxication. + </p> + <p> + “Why, Mat, jewel, where else could you be, alannah, but at home? Sure + isn't here Jack, an' Biddy, an' myself, Mat, agra, along wid me. Your head + isn't well, but all you want is a good rousin' sleep.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, Nancy; very well, that's enough—quite satisfactory—quod + erat demonstrandum. May all kinds of bad luck rest upon the Findramore + boys, any way! The unlucky vagabonds—I'm the third they've done up. + Nancy, off wid ye, like quicksilver for the priest.” + </p> + <p> + “The priest! Why, Mat, jewel, what puts that into your head? Sure, there's + nothing wrong wid ye, only the sup o' drink you tuck yesterday.” + </p> + <p> + “Go, woman,” said Mat; “did you ever know me to make a wrong calculation—I + tell you I'm non compos mentis from head to heel. Head! by my sowl, Nancy, + it'll soon be a capui mortuum wid me—I'm far gone in a disease they + call an opthical delusion—the devil a thing less it is—me + bein' in my own place, an' to think I'm lyin' in a settle bed; that there + is a large dresser, covered wid pewter dishes and plates; and to crown + all, the door on the wrong side of the house! Off wid ye, and tell his + Reverence that I want to be anointed, and to die in pace and charity wid + all men. May the most especial kind of bad luck light down upon you, + Findramore, and all that's in you, both man and baste—you have given + me my gruel along wid the rest; but, thank God, you won't hang me, any + how! Off, Nancy, for the priest, till I die like a Christhan, in pace and + forgiveness wid the world;—all kinds of hard fortune to them! Make + haste, woman, if you expect me to die like a Christhan. If they had let me + alone till I'd publish to the world my Treatise upon Conic Sections—but + to be cut off on my march to fame! another draught of the hydraulics, + Nancy, an' then for the priest—But see, bring Father Connell, the + curate, for he understands something about Matthew-maticks; an' never heed + Father Roger, for divil a thing he knows about them, not even the + difference between a right line and a curve—in the page of histhory, + to his everlasting disgrace, be the same recorded!” + </p> + <p> + “Mat,” replied Nancy, scarcely preserving her gravity, “keep yourself from + talkin', an' fall asleep, then you'll be well enough.” + </p> + <p> + “Is there e'er a sup at all in the house?” said Mat; “if there is, let me + get it; for there's an ould proverb, though it's a most unmathematical + axiom as ever was invinted—'try a hair of the same dog that bit + you;' give me a glass, Nancy, an' you can go for Father Connell after. Oh, + by the sowl of Isaac, that invented fluxions, what's this for?” + </p> + <p> + A general burst-of laughter followed this demand and ejaculation; and Mat + sat up once more in the settle, and examined the place with keener + scrutiny. Nancy herself laughed heartily; and, as she handed him the full + glass, entered into an explanation of the circumstances attending his + translation. Mat, at all times rather of pliant disposition, felt rejoiced + on finding that he was still compos mentis; and on hearing what took + place, he could not help entering into the humor of the enterprise, at + which he laughed as heartily as any of them. + </p> + <p> + “Mat,” said, the farmer, and half a dozen of the neighbors, “you're a + happy man, there's a hundred of the boys have a school-house half built + for you this same blessed sunshiny mornin', while your lying at aise in + your bed.” + </p> + <p> + “By the sowl of Newton, that invented fluxions!” replied Mat, “but I'll + take revenge for the disgrace you put upon my profession, by stringing up + a schoolmaster among you, and I'll hang you all! It's death to steal a + four-footed animal; but what do you desarve for stealin' a Christian + baste, a two-legged schoolmaster without feathers, eighteen miles, and he + not to know it?” + </p> + <p> + In the course of a short time Mat was dressed, and having found benefit + from the “hair of the dog that bit him,” he tried another glass, which + strung his nerves, or, as he himself expressed it—“they've got the + rale mathematical tinsion again.” What the farmer said, however, about the + school-house had been true. Early that morning all the growing and grown + young men of Findramore and its “vircinity” had assembled, selected a + suitable spot, and, with merry hearts, were then busily engaged in + erecting a school-house for their general accomodation. + </p> + <p> + The manner of building hedge school-houses being rather curious, I will + describe it. The usual spot selected for their erection is a ditch in the + road-side; in some situation where there will be as little damp as + possible. From such a spot an excavation is made equal to the size of the + building, so that, when this is scooped out, the back side-wall, and the + two gables are already formed, the banks being dug perpendicularly. The + front side-wall, with a window in each side of the door, is then built of + clay or green sods laid along in rows; the gables are also topped with + sods, and, perhaps, a row or two laid upon the back side-wall, if it + should be considered too low. Having got the erection of Mat's house thus + far, they procured a scraw-spade, and repaired with a couple of dozen of + cars to the next bog, from which they cut the light heathy surface in + strips the length of the roof. A scraw-spade is an instrument resembling + the letter T, with an iron plate at the lower end, considerably bent, and + well adapted to the purpose for which it is intended. Whilst one party cut + the scraws, another bound the <i>couples and bauks</i>* and a third cut as + many green branches as were sufficient to wattle it. The couples, being + bound, were raised—the ribs laid on—then the wattles, and + afterwards the scraws. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The couples are shaped like the letter A, and sustain + the roof; the bauks, or rafters, cross them from one + side to another like the line inside the letter. +</pre> + <p> + Whilst these successive processes went forward, many others had been + engaged all the morning cutting rushes; and the scraws were no sooner laid + on, than half a dozen thatchers mounted the roof, and long before the + evening was closed, a school-house, capable of holding near two hundred + children, was finished. But among the peasantry no new house is ever put + up without a hearth-warming and a dance. Accordingly the clay floor was + paired—a fiddler procured—Barny Brady and his stock of poteen + sent for; the young women of the village and surrounding neighborhood + attended in their best finery; dancing commenced—and it was four + o'clock the next morning when the merry-makers departed, leaving Mat a new + home and a hard floor, ready for the reception of his scholars. + </p> + <p> + Business now commenced. At nine o'clock the next day Mat's furniture was + settled in a small cabin, given to him at a cheap rate by one of the + neighboring farmers; for, whilst the school-house was being built, two + men, with horses and cars, had gone to Clansallagh, accompanied by Nancy, + and removed the furniture, such as it was, to their new residence. Nor was + Mat, upon the whole, displeased at what had happened; for he was now fixed + in a flourishing country—fertile and well cultivated; nay, the + bright landscape which his school-house commanded was sufficient in itself + to reconcile him to his situation. The inhabitants were in comparatively + good circumstances; many of them wealthy, respectable farmers, and capable + of remunerating him very decently for his literary labors; and what was + equally flattering, there was a certainty of his having a numerous and + well-attended school in a neighborhood with whose inhabitants he was + acquainted. + </p> + <p> + Honest, kind-hearted Paddy!—pity that you should ever feel distress + or hunger—pity that you should be compelled to seek, in another + land, the hard-earned pittance by which you keep the humble cabin over + your chaste wife and naked children! Alas! what noble materials for + composing a national character, of which humanity might be justly proud, + do the lower orders of the Irish possess, if raised and cultivated by an + enlightened education! Pardon me, gentle reader, for this momentary + ebullition; I grant I am a little dark now. I assure you, however, the + tear of enthusiastic admiration is warm on my eye-lids, when I remember + the flitches of bacon, the sacks of potatoes, the bags of meal, the + miscowns of butter, and the dishes of eggs—not omitting crate after + crate of turf which came in such rapid succession to Mat Kavanagh, during + the first week on which he opened his school. Ay, and many a bottle of + stout poteen, when + </p> + <p> + “The eye of the gauger saw it not,” + </p> + <p> + was, with a sly, good-humored wink, handed over to Mat, or Nancy, no + matter which, from under the comfortable drab jock, with velvet-covered + collar, erect about the honest, ruddy face of a warm, smiling farmer, or + even the tattered frieze of a poor laborer—anxious to secure the + attention of the “masther” to his little “Shoneen,” whom, in the + extravagance of his ambition, he destined to “wear the robes as a clargy.” + Let no man say, I repeat, that the Irish are not fond of education. + </p> + <p> + In the course of a month Mat's school was full to the door posts, for, in + fact, he had the parish to himself—many attending from a distance of + three, four, and five miles. His merits, however, were believed to be + great, and his character for learning stood high, though unjustly so: for + a more superficial, and at the same time, a more presuming dunce never + existed; but his character alone could secure him a good attendance; he, + therefore, belied the unfavorable prejudices against the Findramore folk, + which had gone abroad, and was a proof, in his own person, that the reason + of the former schoolmasters' miscarriage lay in the belief of their + incapacity which existed among the people. But Mat was one of those showy, + shallow fellows, who did not lack for assurance. + </p> + <p> + The first step a hedge schoolmaster took, on establishing himself in a + school, was to write out, in his best copperplate hand, a flaming + advertisement, detailing, at full length, the several branches he + professed himself capable of teaching. I have seen many of these—as + who that is acquainted with Ireland has not?—and, beyond all doubt, + if the persons that issued them were acquainted with the various heads + recapitulated, they must have been buried in the most profound obscurity, + as no man but a walking Encyclopaedia—an admirable Crichton—could + claim an intimacy with them, embracing, as they often did, the whole + circle of human knowledge. 'Tis true, the vanity of the pedagogue had full + scope in these advertisements, as there was none to bring him to an + account, except some rival, who could only attack him on those practical + subjects which were known to both. Independently of this, there was a + good-natured collusion between them on those points which were beyond + their knowledge, inasmuch as they were not practical but speculative, and + by no means involved their character or personal interests. On the next + Sunday, therefore, after Mat's establishment at Findrainore, you might see + a circle of the peasantry assembled at the chapel door, perusing, with + suitable reverence and admiration on their faces, the following + advertisement; or, perhaps, Mat himself, with a learned, consequential + air, in the act of “expounding” it to them. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath and' Professor of the Learned Languages, + begs leave to inform the Inhabitants of Findramore and' its vicinity, that + he lectures on the following branches of Education, in his Seminary at the + above-recited place:— + </p> + <p> + “Spelling, Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, upon altogether new + principles, hitherto undiscovered by any excepting himself, and for which + he expects a Patent from Trinity College, Dublin; or, at any rate, from + Squire Johnston, Esq., who paternizes many of the pupils; Book-keeping, by + single and double entry—Geometry, Trigonometry, Stereometry, + Mensuration, Navigation, Guaging, Surveying, Dialling, Astronomy, + Astrology, Austerity, Fluxions, Geography, ancient and modern—Maps, + the Projection of the Sphere—Algebra, the Use of the Globes, Natural + and Moral Philosophy, Pneumatics, Optics, Dioptics, Catroptics, + Hydraulics, Erostatics, Geology, Glorification, Divinity, Mythology, + Medicinality, Physic, by theory only, Metaphysics practically, Chemistry, + Electricity, Galvanism, Mechanics, Antiquities, Agriculture, Ventilation, + Explosion, etc. + </p> + <p> + “In Classics—Grammar, Cordery, AEsop's Fables, Erasmus' Colloquies, + Cornelius Nepos, Phaedrus, Valerius Maximus, Justin, Ovid, Sallust, + Virgil, Horace, Juvenal, Persius, Terence, Tully's Offices, Cicero, + Manouverius Turgidus, Esculapius, Rogerius, Satanus Nigrus, Quinctilian, + Livy, Thomas Aquinas, Cornelius Agrippa, and Cholera Morbus. + </p> + <p> + “Greek Grammar, Greek Testament, Lucian, Homer, Sophocles, AEschylus, + Thucydides, Aristophanes, Xenophon, Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and the + Works of Alexander the Great; the manners, habits, customs, usages, and + the meditations of the Grecians; the Greek Digamma resolved, Prosody, + Composition, both in prose and verse, and Oratory, in English, Latin and + Greek; together with various other branches of learning and scholastic + profundity—<i>quoi enumerare longum est</i>—along with Irish + Radically, and a small taste of Hebrew upon the Masoretic text. + </p> + <p> + “Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath.” (* See note at the end of this sketch.) + </p> + <p> + Having posted this document upon the hapel-door, and in all the public + places and cross roads of the parish, Mat considered himself as having + done his duty. He now began to teach, and his school continued to increase + to his heart's content, every day bringing him fresh scholars. In this + manner he flourished till the beginning of winter, when those boys, who, + by the poverty of their parents, had been compelled to go to service to + the neighboring farmers, flocked to him in numbers, quite voracious for + knowledge. An addition was consequently built to the school-house, which + was considerably too small; so that, as Christmas approached, it would be + difficult to find a more numerous or merry establishment under the roof of + a hedge school. But it is time to give an account of its interior. + </p> + <p> + The reader will then be pleased to picture to himself such a house as I + have already described—in a line with the hedge; the eave of the + back roof within a foot of the ground behind it; a large hole exactly in + the middle of the “riggin',” as a chimney; immediately under which is an + excavation in the floor, burned away by a large fire of turf, loosely + heaped together. This is surrounded by a circle of urchins, sitting on the + bare earth, stones, and hassocks, and exhibiting a series of speckled + shins, all radiating towards the fire, like sausages on a Poloni dish. + There they are—wedged as close as they can sit; one with half a + thigh off his breeches—another with half an arm off his tattered + coat—a third without breeches at all, wearing, as a substitute, a + piece of his mother's old petticoat, pinned about his loins—a + fourth, no coat—a fifth, with a cap on him, because he has got a + scald, from having sat under the juice of fresh hung bacon—a sixth + with a black eye—a seventh two rags about his heels to keep his + kibes clean—an eighth crying to get home, because he has got a + headache, though it may be as well to hint, that there is a drag-hunt to + start from beside his father's in the course of the day. In this ring, + with his legs stretched in a most lordly manner, sits, upon a deal chair, + Mat himself, with his hat on, basking in the enjoyment of unlimited + authority. His dress consists of a black coat, considerably in want of + repair, transferred to his shoulders through the means of a clothes-broker + in the county-town; a white cravat, round a large stuffing, having that + part which comes in contact with the chin somewhat streaked with brown—a + black waistcoat, with one or two “tooth-an'-egg” metal buttons sewed on + where the original had fallen off—black corduroy inexpressibles, + twice dyed, and sheep's-gray stockings. In his hand is a large, broad + ruler, the emblem of his power, the woful instrument of executive justice, + and the signal of terror to all within his jurisdiction. In a corner below + is a pile of turf, where on entering, every boy throws his two sods, with + a hitch from under his left arm. He then comes up to the master, catches + his forelock with finger and thumb, and bobs down his head, by way of + making him a bow, and goes to his seat. Along the walls on the ground is a + series of round stones, some of them capped with a straw collar or + hassock, on which the boys sit; others have bosses, and many of them hobs—a + light but compact kind of boggy substance found in the mountains. On these + several of them sit; the greater number of them, however, have no seats + whatever, but squat themselves down, without compunction, on the hard + floor. Hung about, on wooden pegs driven into the walls, are the shapeless + yellow “caubeens” of such as can boast the luxury of a hat, or caps made + of goat or hare's skin, the latter having the ears of the animal rising + ludicrously over the temples, or cocked out at the sides, and the scut + either before or behind, according to the taste or the humor of the + wearer. The floor, which is only swept every Saturday, is strewed over + with tops of quills, pens, pieces of broken slate, and tattered leaves of + “Reading made Easy,” or fragments of old copies. In one corner is a knot + engaged at “Fox and Geese,” or the “Walls of Troy” on their slates; in + another, a pair of them are “fighting bottles,” which consists in striking + the bottoms together, and he whose bottle breaks first, of course, loses. + Behind the master is a third set, playing “heads and points”—a game + of pins. Some are more industriously employed in writing their copies, + which they perform seated on the ground, with their paper on a copy-board—a + piece of planed deal, the size of the copy, an appendage now nearly + exploded—their cheek-bones laid within half an inch of the left side + of the copy, and the eye set to guide the motion of the hand across, and + to regulate the straightness of the lines and the forms of the letters. + Others, again, of the more grown boys, are working their sums with + becoming industry. In a dark corner are a pair of urchins thumping each + other, their eyes steadily fixed on the master, lest he might happen to + glance in that direction. Near the master himself are the larger boys, + from twenty-two to fifteen—shaggy-headed slips, with loose-breasted + shirts lying open about their bare chests; ragged colts, with white, dry, + bristling beards upon them, that never knew a razor; strong stockings on + their legs; heavy brogues, with broad, nail-paved soles; and breeches open + at the knees. Nor is the establishment without a competent number of + females. These were, for the most part, the daughters of wealthy farmers, + who considered it necessary to their respectability, that they should not + be altogether illiterate; such a circumstance being a considerable + drawback, in the opinion of an admirer, from the character of a young + woman for whom he was about to propose—a drawback, too, which was + always weighty in proportion to her wealth or respectability. + </p> + <p> + Having given our readers an imperfect sketch of the interior of Mat's + establishment, we will now proceed, however feebly, to represent him at + work—with all the machinery of the system in full operation. + </p> + <p> + “Come, boys, rehearse—(buz, buz, buz)—I'll soon be after + calling up the first spelling lesson—(buz, buz, buz)—then the + mathematicians—book-keepers—Latinists and Grecians, + successfully. (Buz, buz, buz)—Silence there below!—your pens! + Tim Casey, isn't this a purty hour o' the day for you to come into school + at; arraix, and what kept you, Tim? Walk up wid yourself here, till we + have a confabulation together; you see I love to be talking to you. + </p> + <p> + “Sir, Larry Branagen, here; he's throwing spits at me out of his pen.”—(Buz, + buz, buz.) + </p> + <p> + “By my sowl, Larry, there's a rod in steep for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Fly away, Jack—fly away, Jill; come again, Jack—” + </p> + <p> + “I had to go to Paddy Nowlan's for to-baccy, sir, for my father.” (Weeping + with his hand knowingly across his face—one eye laughing at his + comrades.)— + </p> + <p> + “You lie, it wasn't.” + </p> + <p> + “If you call me a liar agin, I'll give you a dig in the mug.” + </p> + <p> + “It's not in your jacket.” + </p> + <p> + “Isn't it?” + </p> + <p> + “Behave yourself; ha! there's the masther looking at you—ye'll get + it now.”— + </p> + <p> + “None at all, Tim? And she's not after sinding an excuse wid you? What's + that undher your arm?” + </p> + <p> + “My Grough, sir.”—(Buz, buz, buz.) + </p> + <p> + “Silence, boys. And, you blackguard Lilliputian, you, what kept you away + till this?” + </p> + <p> + “One bird pickin', two men thrashin'; one bird pickin', two men thrashin'; + one bird pickin'—” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, they're stickn' pins in me, here.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is, Briney?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know, sir, they're all at it.” + </p> + <p> + “Boys, I'll go down to yez.” + </p> + <p> + “I can't carry him, sir, he'd be too heavy for me: let Larry Toole do it, + he's stronger nor me; any way, there, he's putting a corker pin in his + mouth.” *—(Buz, buz, buz.) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * In the hedge schools it was usual for the unfortunate + culprit about to be punished to avail himself of all + possible stratagems that were calculated to diminish + his punishment. Accordingly, when put upon another + boy's back to be horsed, as it was termed, he slipped a + large pin, called a corker, in his mouth, and on + receiving the first blow stuck it into the neck of the + boy who carried him. This caused the latter to jump and + bounce about in such a manner that many of the blows + directed at his burthen missed their aim. It was an + understood thing, however, that the boy carrying the + felon should aid him in every way in his power, by + yielding, moving', and shifting about, so that it was + only when he seemed to abet the master that the pin was + applied to him. +</pre> + <p> + “Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo—I'll never stay away agin, sir; indeed I won't, + sir. Oh, sir, clear, pardon me this wan time; and if ever you cotch me + doing the like agin, I'll give you lave to welt the sowl out of me.”—(Buz + buz, buz.). “Behave yourself, Barny Byrne.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not touching you.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you are; didn't you make me blot my Copy?” + </p> + <p> + “Ho, by the livin', I'll pay you goin' home for this.” + </p> + <p> + “Hand me the taws.” + </p> + <p> + “Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo—what'll I do, at all at all! Oh, sir dear, + sir dear, sir dear—hoo-hoo-hoo.” + </p> + <p> + “Did she send no message, good or bad, before I lay on?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, not a word, sir, only that my father killed a pig yestherday, and he + wants you to go up to-day at dinner-time.”—(Buz, buz, buz.) + </p> + <p> + “It's time to get lave—it isn't, it is—it isn't, it is,” etc. + </p> + <p> + “You lie, I say, your faction never was able to fight ours; didn't we lick + all your dirty breed in Builagh-battha fair?” + </p> + <p> + “Silence there.”—(Buz, buz, buz.) + </p> + <p> + “Will you meet us on Sathurday, and we'll fight it out clane!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha-ha-ha! Tim, but you got a big fright, any how: whist, ma bouchal, sure + I was only jokin' you; and sorry I'd be to bate your father's son, Tim. + Come over, and sit beside myself at the fire here. Get up, Micky Donoghue, + you big, burnt-shinn'd spalpeen you, and let the dacent boy sit at the + fire.” + </p> + <p> + “Hulabaloo hoo-hoo-hoo—to go to give me such a welt, only for + sitting at the fire, and me brought turf wid me.” + </p> + <p> + “To-day, Tim?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “At dinner time, is id?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, the dacent strain was always in the same family.”—(Buz, buz, + buz.)— + </p> + <p> + “Horns, horns, cock horns: oh, you up'd vrid them, you lifted your fingers—that's + a mark, now—hould your face, till I blacken you!” + </p> + <p> + “Do you call thim two sods, Jack Laniran? why, 'tis only one long one + broke in the middle; but you must make it up tomorrow. Jack, how is your + mother's tooth?—did she get it pulled out yet?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, tell her to come to me, and I'll write a charm for it, that'll cure + her.—What kept you' till now, Paddy Magouran?” + </p> + <p> + “Couldn't come any sooner, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “You couldn't, sir—and why, sir, couldn't you come any sooner', + sir?” + </p> + <p> + “See, sir, what Andy Nowlan done to my copy.”—(Buz, buz, buz.)— + </p> + <p> + “Silence, I'll massacree yez if yez don't make less noise.”—(Buz, + buz, buz.) + </p> + <p> + “I was down with Mrs. Kavanagh, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “You were, Paddy—an' Paddy, ma bouchal, what war you doing there, + Paddy?” + </p> + <p> + “Masther, sir, spake to Jem Kenny here; he made my nose bleed.”— + </p> + <p> + “Eh, Paddy?” + </p> + <p> + “I was br ingin' her a layin' hen, sir, that my mother promised her at + mass on Sunday last.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Paddy, you're a game bird, yourself, wid your layin' hens; you're as + full o' mischief as an egg's full o' mate—(omnes—ha, ha, ha, + ha!)—Silence, boys—what are you laughin' at?—ha, ha, ha!—Paddy, + can you spell Nebachodnazure for me?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +“No, nor a better scholar, Paddy, could not do that, ma bouchal; but +I'll spell it for you. Silence, boys—whist, all of yez, till I spell +Nebachodnazure for Paddy Magouran. Listen; and you yourself, Paddy, are +one of the letthers: + + A turf and a clod spells Nebachod— + A knife and a razure, spells Nebachodnazure— + Three pair of boots and five pair of shoes— + Spells Nebachodnazure, the king of the Jews.' +</pre> + <p> + Now, Paddy, that's spelling Nebachodnazure by the science of Ventilation; + but you'll never go that deep, Paddy.”— + </p> + <p> + “I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that the way you ax me, you vagabone?” + </p> + <p> + “I want to go out, sir,”—(pulling down the fore lock.) + </p> + <p> + “Yes, that's something dacenter; by the sowl of Newton, that invinted + fluxions, if ever you forgot to make a bow again, I'll nog the enthrils + out of you—wait till the Pass comes in.” + </p> + <p> + Then comes the spelling lesson. “Come, boys, stand up to the spelling + lesson.” + </p> + <p> + “Mickey,” says one urchin, “show me your book, till I look at my word. I'm + fifteenth.” + </p> + <p> + “Wait till I see my own.” + </p> + <p> + “Why do you crush for?” + </p> + <p> + “That's my place.” + </p> + <p> + “No, it's not.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, spake to————-I'll tell the masther.” + </p> + <p> + “What's the matther there?” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, he won't let me into my place.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm before you.” + </p> + <p> + “No you're not.” + </p> + <p> + “I say, I am.” + </p> + <p> + “You lie, pug-face: ha! I called you pug-face, tell now if you dare.” + </p> + <p> + “Well boys, down with your pins in the book: who's king?” + </p> + <p> + “I am, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Who's queen?” + </p> + <p> + “Me, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Who's prince?” + </p> + <p> + “I am prince, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Tag rag and bob-tail, fall into your places.” + </p> + <p> + “I've no pin, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well down with you to the tail——now, boys.” * + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * At the spelling lesson the children were obliged to + put down each a pin, he who held the first place got + them all with the exception of the queen—that is the + boy who held the second place! who got two; and the + prince, the third who got one. The last boy in the + class was called Bobtail. +</pre> + <p> + Having gone through the spelling-task, it was Mat's custom to give out six + hard words selected according to his judgment—as a final test; but + he did not always confine himself to that. Sometimes he would put a number + of syllables arbitrarily together, forming a most heterogeneous + combination of articulate sounds. + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys, here's a deep word, that'll thry yez: come Larry spell + me-mo-man-dran-san-ti-fi-can-du-ban-dan-li-al-i-ty, or + mis-an-thro-po-mor-phi-ta-ni-a-nus-mi-ca-li-a-lioy;—that's too hard + for you, is it? Well, then, spell phthisic. Oh, that's physic you're + spellin'. Now, Larry, do you know the difference between physic and + phthisic?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I'll expound it: phthisic, you see, manes—whisht, boys: will + yez hould yer tongues there—phthisic, Larry, signifies—that + is, phthisic—mind, it's not physic I'm expounding, but phthisic—boys, + will yez stop yer noise there—signifies——but, Larry, + it's so deep a word in larnin' that I should draw it out on a slate for + you. And now I remimber, man alive, you're not far enough on yet to + understand it: but what's physic, Larry?” + </p> + <p> + “Isn't that sir, what my father tuck the day he got sick, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “That's the very thing, Larry: it has what larned men call a medical + property, and resembles little ricketty Dan Reilly there—it + retrogrades. Och! Och! I'm the boy that knows things—you see now how + I expounded them two hard words for yez, boys—don't yez?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir,” etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + “So, Larry, you haven't the larnin' for that either: but here's an 'asier + one—spell me Ephabridotas (Epaphroditas)—you can't! hut! man—you're + a big dunce, entirely, that little shoneen Sharkey there below would <i>sack</i>. + God be wid the day when I was the likes of you—it's I that was the + bright gorsoon entirely—and so sign was on it, when a great larned + traveler—silence boys, till I tell yez this [a dead silence]—from + Thrinity College, all the way in Dublin, happened to meet me one day—seeing + the slate and Gough, you see, undher my arm, he axes me—' Arrah, + Mat,' says he, 'what are you <i>in</i>?' says he. 'Faix, I'm in my + breeches, for one thing,' says I, off hand—silence childhre, and + don't laugh so loud—(ha, ha, ha!) So he looks closer at me: 'I see + that,' says he; 'but what are you reading?' 'Nothing at all at all,' says + I; 'bad manners to the taste, as you may see, if you've your eyesight.' 'I + think,' says he, 'you'll be apt to die in your breeches;' and set spurs to + a fine saddle mare he rid—faith, he did so—thought me so cute—(omnes—ha, + ha, ha!) Whisht, boys, whisht; isn't it a terrible thing that I can't tell + yez a joke, but you split your sides laughing at it—(ha, ha, ha!)—don't + laugh so loud, Barney Casey.”—(ha, ha, ha!) + </p> + <p> + <i>Barney</i>.—“I want to go out, if you plase, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Go, avick, you'll be a good scholar yet, Barney. Faith, Barney knows whin + to laugh, any how.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Larry, you can't spell Ephabridotas?—thin, here's a short + weeshy one, and whoever spells it will get the pins;—spell a red + rogue wid three letters. You, Micky! Dan? Jack? Natty? Alick? Andy? + Pettier? Jim? Tim? Pat? Body? you? you? you? Now, boys, I'll hould you + that my little Andy here, that's only beginning the <i>Rational Spelling + Book</i>, bates you all; come here, Andy, alanna: now, boys, If he bates + you, you 'must all bring him a little <i>miscaun</i> of butter between two + kale leaves, in the mornin', for himself; here, Andy avourneen, spell red + rogue with three letthers.” + </p> + <p> + <i>Andy</i>.—“M, a, t—Mat.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, avick, that's myself, Andy; it's red rogue, Andy—hem!—F—.” + </p> + <p> + “F, o, x—fox.” + </p> + <p> + “That's a man, Andy. Now boys, mind what you owe Andy in the mornin, God, + won't yez?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “I will, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “And I will, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “And so will I sir,” etc., etc, etc + </p> + <p> + I know not whether the Commissioners of Education found the monitorial + system of instruction in such of the old hedge schools as maintained an + obstinate resistance to the innovations of modern plans. That Bell and + Lancaster deserve much credit for applying and extending the principle + (speaking without any reference to its merits) I do not hesitate to grant; + but it is unquestionably true, that the principle was reduced to practice + in Irish hedge schools long before either of these worthy gentlemen were + in existence. I do not, indeed, at present remember whether or not they + claim it as a discovery, or simply as an adaptation of a practice which + experience, in accidental cases, had found useful, and which they + considered capable of more extensive benefit. I remember many instances, + however, in which it was applied—and applied, in my opinion, though + not as a permanent system, yet more judiciously than it is at present. I + think it a mistake to suppose that silence, among a number of children in + school, is conducive to the improvement either of health or intellect, + that the chest and the lungs are benefited by giving full play to the + voice, I think will not be disputed; and that a child is capable of more + intense study and abstraction in the din of a school-room, than in partial + silence (if I may be permitted the word), is a fact, which I think any + rational observation would establish. There is something cheering and + cheerful in the noise of friendly voices about us—it is a restraint + taken off the mind, and it will run the lighter for it—it produces + more excitement, and puts the intellect in a better frame for study. The + obligation to silence, though it may give the master more ease, imposes a + new moral duty upon the chil—the sense of which must necessarily + weaken his application. Let the boy speak aloud, if he pleases—that + is, to a certain pitch; let his blood circulate; let the natural + secretions take place, and the physical effluvia be thrown off by a free + exercise of voice and limbs: but do not keep him dumb and motionless as a + statue—his blood and his intellect both in a state of stagnation, + and his spirit below zero. Do not send him in quest of knowledge alone, + but let him have cheerful companionship on his way; for, depend upon it, + that the man who expects too much either in discipline or morals from a + boy, is not in my opinion, acquainted with human nature. If an urchin + titter at his own joke, or that of another—if he give him a jab of a + pin under the desk, imagine not that it will do him an injury, whatever + phrenologists may say concerning the organ of destructiveness. It is an + exercise to the mind, and he will return to his business with greater + vigor and effect. Children are not men, nor influenced by the same motives—they + do not reflect, because their capacity for reflection is imperfect; so is + their reason: whereas on the contrary, their faculties for education + (excepting judgment, which strengthens my argument) are in greater vigor + in youth than in manhood. The general neglect of this distinction is, I am + convinced, a stumbling-block in the way of youthful instruction, though it + characterizes all our modern systems. We should never forget that they are + children; nor should we bind them by a system, whose standard is taken + from the maturity of human intellect. We may bend our reason to theirs, + but we cannot elevate their capacity to our own. We may produce an + external appearance, sufficiently satisfactory to ourselves; but, in the + meantime, it is probable that the child may be growing in hypocrisy, and + settling down into the habitual practice of a fictitious character. + </p> + <p> + But another and more serious objection may be urged against the present + strictness of scholastic discipline—which is, that it deprives the + boy of a sense of free and independent agency. I speak this with + limitations, for a master should be a monarch in his school, but by no + means a tyrant; and decidedly the very worst species of tyranny is that + which stretches the young mind upon the rod of too rigorous a discipline—like + the despot who exacted from his subjects so many barrels of perspiration, + whenever there came a long and severe frost. Do not familiarize the mind + when young to the toleration of slavery, lest it prove afterwards + incapable of recognizing and relishing the principle of an honest and + manly independence. I have known many children, on whom a rigor of + discipline, affecting the mind only (for severe corporal punishment is now + almost exploded), impressed a degree of timidity almost bordering on + pusillanimity. Away, then, with the specious and long-winded arguments of + a false and mistaken philosophy. A child will be a child, and a boy a boy, + to the conclusion of the chapter. Bell or Lancaster would not relish the + pap or caudle-cup three times a day; neither would an infant on the breast + feel comfortable after a gorge of ox beef. Let them, therefore, put a + little of the mother's milk of human kindness and consideration into their + straight-laced systems. + </p> + <p> + A hedge schoolmaster was the general scribe of the parish, to whom all who + wanted letters or petitions written, uniformly applied—and these + were glorious opportunities for the pompous display of pedantry; the + remuneration usually consisted of a bottle of whiskey. + </p> + <p> + A poor woman, for instance, informs Mat that she wishes to have a letter + written to her son, who is a soldier abroad. “An' how long is he gone, + ma'am?” + </p> + <p> + “Och, thin, masther, he's from me goin' an fifteen year; an' a comrade of + his was spakin' to Jim Dwyer, an' says his ridgiment's lyin' in the Island + of Budanages, somewhere in the back parts of Africa.” + </p> + <p> + “An' is it a lotther of petition you'd be afther havin' me to indite for + you, ma'am?” + </p> + <p> + “Och, a letthur, sir—a letthur, master; an' may the Lord grant you + all kinds of luck, good, bad, an' indifferent, both to you and yours: an' + well it's known, by the same token, that it's yourself has the nice hand + at the pen entirely, an' can indite a letter or petition, that the priest + of the parish mightn't be ashamed to own to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, 'tis I that 'ud scorn to deteriorate upon the superiminence of + my own execution at inditin' wid a pen in my hand; but would you feel a + delectability in my supersoriptionizin' the epistolary correspondency, + ma'am, that I'm about to adopt?” + </p> + <p> + “Eagh? och, what am I sayin'!—sir—masther—sir?—the + noise of the crathurs, you see, is got into my ears; and, besides, I'm a + bit bothered on both sides of my head, ever since I heard that weary <i>weid</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “Silence, boys; bad manners to yez, will ye be asy, you Lilliputian + Boeotians—by my hem—upon my credit, if I go down to that + corner, I'll castigate yez in dozens: I can't spake to this dacent woman, + with your insuperable turbulentiality.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, avourneen, masther, but the larnin's a fine thing, any how; an' maybe + 'tis yourself that hasn't the tongue in your head, an' can spake the tall, + high-flown English; a wurrah, but your tongue hangs well, any how—the + Lord increase it!” + </p> + <p> + “Lanty Cassidy, are you gettin' on wid your Stereometry? <i>festina, mi + discipuli; vocabo Homerum, mox atque mox</i>. You see, ma'am, I must tache + thim to spake an' effectuate a translation of the larned languages + sometimes.” + </p> + <p> + “Arrah, masther dear, how did you get it all into your head, at all at + all?” + </p> + <p> + “Silence, boys—<i>tace—' conticuere omnes intentique ora + tenebant</i>.' Silence, I say agin.” + </p> + <p> + “You could slip over, maybe, to Doran's, masther, do you see? You'd do it + betther there, I'll engage: sure and you'd want a dhrop to steady your + hand, any how.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys, I am goin' to indite a small taste of literal correspondency + over at the public-house here; you <i>literati</i> will hear the lessons + for me, boys, till afther I'm back agin; but mind, boys, <i>absente domino + strepuunt servi</i>—meditate on the philosophy of that; and, Mick + Mahon, take your slate and put down all the names; and, upon my soul—hem—credit, + I'll castigate any boy guilty of <i>misty mannes</i> on my retrogadation + thither;—<i>ergo momentote, cave ne titubes mandataque frangas</i>.” + </p> + <p> + “Blood alive, masther, but that's great spakin'—begar, a judge + couldn't come up to you; but in throth, sir, I'd be long sarry to throuble + you; only he's away fifteen year, and I wouldn't thrust it to another; and + the corplar that commands the ridgment would regard your handwrite and + your inditin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't, ma'am, plade the smallest taste of apology.” + </p> + <p> + “Eagh?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm happy that I can sarve you, ma'am.” + </p> + <p> + “Musha, long life to you, masther, for that same, any how—but it's + yourself that's deep in the larnin' and the langridges; the Lord incrase + yer knowledge—sure, an' we all want his blessin', you know.” + </p> + <p> + “Home, is id? Start, boys, off—chase him, lie into him—asy, + curse yez, take time gettin' out: that's it—keep to him—don't + wait for me; take care, you little spalpeens, or you'll brake your bones, + so you will: blow the dust of this road, I can't see my way in.” + </p> + <p> + THE RETURN. + </p> + <p> + “Well, boys, you've been at it—here's swelled faces and bloody + noses. What blackened your eye, Callaghan? You're a purty prime ministher, + ye boxing blackguard, you: I left you to keep pace among these factions, + and you've kicked up a purty dust. What blackened your eye—eh?—” + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell you, sir, whin I come in, if you plase.” + </p> + <p> + “Ho, you vagabones, this is the ould work of the faction between the + Bradys and the Callaghans—bastin' one another; but, by my sowl, I'll + baste you all through other. You don't want to go out, Callaghan. You had + fine work here since; there's a dead silence now; but I'll pay you + presently. Here, Duggan, go out wid Callaghan, and see that you bring him + back in less than no time. It's not enough for your fathers and brothers + to be at it, who have a right to fight, but you must battle betune you—have + your field days itself!” + </p> + <p> + (Duggan returns)—“Hoo—hoo—sir, my nose. Oh, murdher + sheery, my nose is broked!” + </p> + <p> + “Blow your nose, you spalpeen you—Where's Callaghan?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, sir, bad luck to him every day he rises out of his bed; he got a + stone in his fist, too, that he hot me a pelt on the nose wid, and then + made off home.” + </p> + <p> + “Home is id? Start, boys, off—chase him, lie into him—azy, + curse yez, take time gettin out; that's it—keep to him—don't + wait for me; take care you little salpeens or you'll brake your bones, so + you will: blow the dust of this road, I can't see my way in it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! murdher, Jem, agra, my knee's out' o' joint.” + </p> + <p> + “My elbow's smashed, Paddy. Bad luck to him—the devil fly away wid + him—oh! ha I ha!—oh! ha! ha! murdher—hard fortune to me, + but little Mickey Geery fell, an' thripped the masther, an' himself's, + disabled now—his black breeches split too—look at him feelin' + them—oh! oh! ha! ha!—by tare-an'-onty, Callaghan will be + murdhered, if they cotch him.” + </p> + <p> + This was a specimen of scholastic civilization which Ireland only could + furnish; nothing, indeed, could be more perfectly ludicrous than such a + chase; and such scenes were by no means uncommon in hedge-schools, for, + wherever severe punishment was dreaded—and, in truth, most of the + hedge masters were unfeeling tyrants—the boy, if sufficiently grown + to make a good race, usually broke away, and fled home at the top of his + speed. The pack then were usually led on by the master, who mostly headed + them himself, all in full cry, exhibiting such a scene as should be + witnessed in order to be enjoyed. The neighbors, men, women, and children, + ran out to be spectators; the laborers suspended their work to enjoy it, + assembling on such eminences as commanded a full view of the pursuit. + </p> + <p> + “Bravo, boys—success, masther; lie into him—where's your + huntin' horn, Mr. Kavanagh?—he'll bate yez if ye don't take the wind + of him. Well done, Callaghan, keep up yer heart, yer sowl, and you'll do + it asy—you're gaining' on them, <i>ma bouchal</i>—the + masther's down, you gallows clip, an' there's none but the scholars afther + ye—he's safe.” + </p> + <p> + “Not he; I'll hould a naggin, the poor scholar has him; don't you see, + he's close at his heels?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Done</i>, by my song—they'll never come up wid him; listen to + their leather crackers and cord-a-roys, as their knees bang agin one + another. Hark forrit, boy's; hark forrit! huz-zaw, you thieves, huzzaw!” + </p> + <p> + “Your beagles is well winded, Mr. Kava-nagh, and gives good tongue.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, masther, you had your chase for nothin', I see.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Kavanagh,” another would observe, “I didn't think you war so stiff in + the hams, as to let the gorsoon bate you that way—your wind's + failin', sir.” + </p> + <p> + The schoolmaster was abroad then, and never was the “march of intellect” + at once so rapid and unsuccessful. + </p> + <p> + During the summer season, it was the usual practice for the scholars to + transfer their paper, slates, and books to the green which lay immediately + behind the school-house, where they stretched themselves on the grass, and + resumed their business. Mat would bring out his chair, and, placing it on + the shady side of the hedge, sit with his pipe in his mouth, the contented + lord of his little realm, whilst nearly a hundred and fifty scholars, of + all sorts and sizes, lay scattered over the grass, basking under the + scorching sun in all the luxury of novelty, nakedness, and freedom. The + sight was original and characteristic, and such as Lord Brougham would + have been delighted with. “The schoolmaster was abroad again.” + </p> + <p> + As soon as one o'clock drew near, Mat would pull out his Ring-dial* + holding it against the sun, and declare the hour. + </p> + <p> + * The Ring-dial was the hedge-schoolmaster's next best substitute for a + watch. As it is possible that a great number of our readers may never have + heard of, much less seen one, we shall in a word or two describe it—nothing + could indeed be more simple. It was a bright brass ring, about + three-quarters of an inch broad, and two and a half in diameter. There was + a small hole in it, which when held opposite the sun admitted the light + against the inside of the ring behind. On this was marked the hours and + the quarters, and the time was known by observing the number or the + quarter on which the slender ray that came in from the hole in front fell. + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys, to yer dinners, and the rest to play.” + </p> + <p> + “Hurroo, darlins, to play—the masther says it's dinner-time!—whip-spur-an'-away-grey—hurroo—whack—hurroo!” + </p> + <p> + “Masther, sir, my father bid me ax you home to yer dinner.” + </p> + <p> + “No, he'll come to huz—come wid me if you plase, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, never heed them; my mother, sir, has some of what you know—of + the flitch I brought to Shoneen on last Aisther, sir.” + </p> + <p> + This was a subject on which the boys gave themselves great liberty; an + invitation, even when not accepted, being an indemnity for the day; it was + usually followed by a battle between the claimants, and bloody noses + sometimes were the issue. The master himself, after deciding to go where + he was certain of getting the best dinner, generally put an end to the + quarrels by a reprimand, and then gave notice to the disappointed + claimants of the successive days on which he would attend at their + respective houses. + </p> + <p> + “Boys, you all know my maxim; to go, for fear of any jealousies, boys, + wherever I get the worst dinner; so tell me now, boys, what yer dacent + mothers have all got at home for me?” + </p> + <p> + “My mother killed a fat hen yesterday, sir, and you'll have a lump of + bacon and flat dutch along wid it.” + </p> + <p> + “We'll have hung beef and greens, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “We tried the praties this mornin', sir, and we'll have new praties, and + bread and butther, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, it's all good, boys; but rather than show favor or affection, do + you see, I'll go wid Andy, here, and take share of the hen an' bacon: but, + boys, for all that, I'm fonder of the other things, you persave; and as I + can't go wid you, Mat, tell your respectable mother that I'll be with her + to-morrow; and with you, Larry, <i>ma bouchal</i>, the day afther.” + </p> + <p> + If a master were a single man he usually went round with the scholars each + night—but there were generally a few comfortable farmers, leading + men in the parish, at whose house he chiefly resided; and the children of + these men were treated, with the grossest and most barefaced partiality. + They were altogether privileged persons, and had liberty to beat and abuse + the other children of the school, who were certain of being most + unmercifully flogged, if they even dared to prefer a complaint against the + favorites. Indeed the instances of atrocious cruelty in hedge schools were + almost incredible, and such as in the present enlightened time, would not + be permitted. As to the state of the “poor, scholar,” it exceeded belief; + for he was friendless and unprotected. But though legal prosecutions in + those days were never resorted to, yet, according to the characteristic + notions of Irish retributive justice, certain cases occurred, in which a + signal, and at times, a fatal vengeance was executed on the person of the + brutal master. Sometimes the brothers and other relatives of the mutilated + child would come in a body to the school, and flog the pedagogue with his + own taws, until his back was lapped in blood. Sometimes they would beat + him until few symptoms of life remained. + </p> + <p> + Occasionally he would get a nocturnal notice to quit the parish in a given + time, under a penalty which seldom proved a dead letter in case of + non-compliance. Not unfrequently did those whom he had, when boys, treated + with such barbarity, go back to him, when young men, not so much for + education's sake, as for the especial purpose of retaliating upon him for + his former cruelty. When cases of this nature occurred, he found himself a + mere cipher in his school, never daring to practise excessive severity in + their presence. Instances have come to our own knowledge, of masters, who, + for their mere amusement, would go out to the next hedge, cut a large + branch of furze or thorn, and having first carefully arranged the children + on a row round the walls of the school, their naked legs stretched out + before them, would sweep round the branch, bristling with spikes and + prickles, with all his force against their limbs, until, in a few minutes, + a circle of blood was visible on the ground where they sat, their legs + appearing as if they had been scarified. This the master did, whenever he + happened to be drunk, or in a remarkably good humor. The poor children, + however, were obliged to laugh loud, and enjoy it, though the tears were + falling down their cheeks, in consequence of the pain he inflicted. To + knock down a child with the fist, was considered nothing harsh; nor, if a + boy were, cut, or prostrated by a blow of a cudgel on the head, did he + ever think of representing the master's cruelty to his parents. Kicking on + the shins with a point of a brogue or shoe, bound round the edge of the + sole with iron nails, until the bone was laid open, was a common + punishment; and as for the usual slapping, horsing, and flogging, they + were inflicted with a brutality that in every case richly deserved for the + tyrant, not only a peculiar whipping by the hand of the common + executioner, but a separation from civilized society by transportation for + life. It is a fact, however, that in consequence of the general severity + practised in hedge schools, excesses of punishment did not often produce + retaliation against the master; these were only exceptions, isolated cases + that did not affect the general character of the discipline in such + schools. + </p> + <p> + Now when we consider the total absence of all moral and religious + principles in these establishments, and the positive presence of all that + was wicked, cruel, and immoral, need we be surprised that occasional + crimes of a dark and cruel character should be perpetrated? The truth is, + that it is difficult to determine, whether unlettered ignorance itself + were not preferable to the kind of education which the people then + received. + </p> + <p> + I am sorry to perceive the writings of many respectable persons on Irish + topics imbued with a tinge of spurious liberality, that frequently + occasions them to depart from truth. To draw the Irish character as it is, + as the model of all that is generous, hospitable, and magnanimous, is in + some degree fashionable; but although I am as warm an admirer of all that + is really excellent and amiable in my countrymen as any man, yet I cannot, + nor will I, extenuate their weak and indefensible points. That they + possess the elements of a noble and exalted national character, I grant; + nay, that they actually do possess such a character, under limitations, I + am ready to maintain. Irishmen, setting aside their religious and + political prejudices, are grateful, affectionate, honorable, faithful, + generous, and even magnanimous; but under the stimulus of religious and + political feeling, they are treacherous, cruel, and inhuman—will + murder, burn, and exterminate, not only without compunction, but with a + satanic delight worthy of a savage. Their education, indeed, was truly + barbarous; they were trained and habituated to cruelty, revenge, and + personal hatred, in their schools. Their knowledge was directed to evil + purposes—disloyal principles were industriously insinuated into + their minds by their teachers, most of whom were leaders of illegal + associations. The matter placed in their hands was of a most inflammatory + and pernicious nature, as regarded politics: and as far as religion and + morality were concerned, nothing could be more gross or superstitious than + the books which circulated among them. Eulogiums on murder, robbery, and + theft were read with delight in the histories of Freney the Robber, and + the Irish Rogues and Rapparees; ridicule of the Word of God, and hatred to + the Protestant religion, in a book called Ward's Cantos, written in + Hudi-brastic verse; the downfall of the Protestant Establishment, and the + exaltation of the Romish Church, in Columbkill's Prophecy, and latterly in + that of Pastorini. Gross superstitions, political and religious ballads of + the vilest doggerel, miraculous legends of holy friars persecuted by + Protestants, and of signal vengeance inflicted by their divine power on + those who persecuted them, were in the mouths of the young and old, and of + course firmly fixed in their credulity. + </p> + <p> + Their weapons of controversy were drawn from the Fifty Reasons, the + Doleful Fall of Andrew Sail, the Catholic Christian, the Grounds of + Catholic Doctrine, a Net for the Fishers of Men, and several other + publications of the same class. The books of amusement read in these + schools, including the first-mentioned in this list, were, the Seven + Champions of Christendom, the Seven Wise Masters and Mistresses of Rome, + Don Belianis of Greece, the Royal Fairy Tales, the Arabian Nights' + Entertainments, Valentine and Orson, Gesta Romanorum, Dorastus and Faunia, + the History of Reynard the Fox, the Chevalier Faublax; to these I may add, + the Battle of Auhrim, Siege of Londonderry, History of the Young Ascanius, + a name by which the Pretender was designated, and the Renowned History of + the Siege of Troy; the Forty Thieves, Robin Hood's Garland, the Garden of + Love and Royal Flower of Fidelity, Parismus and Parismenos; along with + others, the names of which shall not appear on these pages. With this + specimen of education before our eyes, is it not extraordinary that the + people of Ireland should be in general, so moral and civilized a people as + they are? + </p> + <p> + “Thady Bradly, will you come up wid your slate, till I examine you in your + figures? Go out, sir, and blow your nose first, and don't be after making + a looking-glass out of the sleeve of your jacket. Now that Thady's out, + I'll hould you, boys, that none of yez knows how to expound his name—eh? + do ye? But I needn't ax—well, 'tis Thaddeus; and, maybe, that's as + much as the priest that christened him knew. Boys, you see what it is to + have the larnin'—to lade the life of a gintleman, and to be able to + talk deeply wid the clargy! Now I could run down any man in arguin', + except a priest; and if the Bishop was after consecratin' me, I'd have as + much larnin' as some of them; but you see I'm not consecrated—and—well, + 'tis no matther—I only say that the more's the pity.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Thady, when did you go into subtraction?” + </p> + <p> + “The day beyond yesterday, sir; yarra musha, sure 'twas yourself, sir, + that shet me the first sum.” + </p> + <p> + “Masther, sir, Thady Bradly stole my cutter—that's my cutter, Thady + Bradly.” + </p> + <p> + “No it's not” (in a low voice). + </p> + <p> + “Sir, that's my cutter—an' there's three nicks in id.” + </p> + <p> + “Thady, is that his cutter?” + </p> + <p> + “There's your cutter for you. Sir, I found it on the flure and didn't know + who own'd it.” + </p> + <p> + “You know'd very well who own'd it; didn't Dick Martin see you liftin' it + off o' my slate, when I was out?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, if Dick Martin saw him, it's enough: an' 'tis Dick that's the + tindher-hearted boy, an' would knock, you down wid a lump of a stone, if + he saw you murdherin' but a fly!” + </p> + <p> + “We'll, Thady—throth Thady, I fear you'll undherstand subtraction + better nor your teacher: I doubt you'll apply it to 'Practice' all your + life, <i>ma bouchal</i>, and that you'll be apt to find it 'the Rule of + False' * at last. Well, Thady, from one thousand pounds, no shillings, and + no pince, how will you subtract one pound? Put it down on your slate—this + way, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The name of a 'Rule' in Gough's Arithmetic. +</pre> + <p> + 1000 00 00 1 00 00” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know how to shet about it, masther.” + </p> + <p> + “You don't, an' how dare you tell me so you <i>shingaun</i> you—you + Cornelius Agrippa you—go to your sate and study it, or I'll—ha! + be off, you.”— + </p> + <p> + “Pierce Butler, come up wid your multiplication. Pierce, multiply four + hundred by two—put it down—that's it, + </p> + <p> + 400 + </p> + <p> + By 2” + </p> + <p> + “Twice nought is one.” (Whack, whack.) + </p> + <p> + “Take that as an illustration—is that one?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, masther, that's two, any how: but, sir, is not wanst nought + nothin'; now masher, sure there can't be less than nothin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “If wanst nought be nothin', then twice nought must be somethin', for it's + double what wanst nought is—see how I'm sthruck for nothin', an' me + knows it—hoo! hoo! hoo! + </p> + <p> + “Get out, you Esculapian; but I'll give you <i>somethin</i>', by-and-by, + just to make you remimber that you know <i>nothin</i>'—off wid you + to your sate, you spalpeen you—to tell me that there can't be less + than nothin' when it's well known that sporting Squaire O'Canter's worth a + thousand pounds less than nothin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Paddy Doran, come up to your 'Intherest.' Well Paddy, what's the + intherest of a hundred pound, at five per cent? Boys, have manners you + thieves you.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you mane, masther, per cent, per annum?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure I do—how do you state it?” + </p> + <p> + “I'll say, as a hundher pound is to one year, so is five per cent, per + annum.” + </p> + <p> + “Hum—why what's the number of the sum Paddy?” + </p> + <p> + “'Tis No. 84, sir. (The master steals a glance at the Key to Gough.) + </p> + <p> + “I only want to look at it in the Gough, you see, Paddy,—an' how + dare you give me such an answer, you big-headed dunce, you—go off + an' study it, you rascally Lilliputian—off wid you, and don't let me + see your ugly mug till you know it.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, gintlemen, for the Classics; and first for the Latinaarians—Larry + Cassidy, come up wid your Aisop. Larry you're a year at Latin, an' I don't + think you know Latin for frize, what your own coat is made of, Larry. But, + in the first place, Larry, do you know what a man that taiches Classics is + called?” + </p> + <p> + “A schoolmasther, sir.” (Whack, whack, whack.). + </p> + <p> + “Take that for your ignorance—and that to the back of it—ha; + that'll taiche you—to call a man that taiches Classics a + schoolmaster, indeed! 'Tis a Profissor of Humanity itself, he is—(whack, + whack, whack,)—ha! you ringleader, you; you're as bad as Dick + M'Growler, that no masther in the county could get any good of, in regard + that he put the whole school together by the ears, wherever he'd be, + though the spalpeen wouldn't stand fight himself. Hard fortune to you! to + go to put such an affront upon me, an' me a Profissor of Humanity. What's + Latin for pantaloons?” + </p> + <p> + “Fern—fern—femi—” + </p> + <p> + “No, it's not, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Femora—” + </p> + <p> + “Can you do it?” + </p> + <p> + “Don't strike me, sir, don't strike me, sir, an' I will.” + </p> + <p> + “I say, can you do it?” + </p> + <p> + “Femorali,”—(whack, whack, whack,)— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sir! ah, sir! 'tis fermorali—ah, sir! 'tis fermorali—ah, + sir!”— + </p> + <p> + “This thratement to a Profissor of Humanity—(drives him head over + heels to his seat).—Now, sir, maybe you'll have Latin for throwsers + agin, or by my sowl, if you don't, you must peel, and I'll tache you what + a Profissor of Humanity is! + </p> + <p> + “Dan Roe, you little starved-looking spalpeen, will you come up to your + Elocution?—and a purty figure you cut at it, wid a voice like a + penny thrumpet, Dan! Well, what speech have you got now, Dan, <i>ma + bouchal</i>. Is it, 'Romans, counthrymin, and lovers?'” + </p> + <p> + “No, shir; yarrah, didn't I spake that speech before?” + </p> + <p> + “No, you didn't, you fairy. Ah, Dan, little as you are, you take credit + for more than ever you spoke, Dan, agrah; but, faith, the same thrick will + come agin you some time or other, avick! Go and get that speech betther; I + see by your face, you haven't it; off wid you, and get a patch upon your + breeches, your little knees are through them, though 'tisn't by prayin' + you've wore them, any how, you little hop-o'-my-thumb you, wid a voice + like a rat in a thrap; off wid you, man alive!” + </p> + <p> + Sometimes the neighboring gentry used to call into Mat's establishment, + moved probably by a curiosity excited by his character, and the general + conduct of the school. On one occasion Squire Johnston and an English + gentleman paid him rather an unexpected visit. Mat had that morning got a + new scholar, the son of a dancing tailor in the neighborhood; and as it + was reported that the son was nearly equal to the father in that + accomplishment, Mat insisted on having a specimen of his skill. He was the + more anxious on this point as it would contribute to the amusement of a + travelling schoolmaster, who had paid him rather a hostile visit, which + Mat, who dreaded a literary challenge, feared might occasion him some + trouble. + </p> + <p> + “Come up here, you little sartor, till we get a dacent view of you. You're + a son of Ned Malone's—aren't you?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, and of Mary Malone, my mother, too, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, that's not so bad, any how—what's your name?” + </p> + <p> + “Dick, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, Dick, ma bouchal, isn't it true that you can dance a horn-pipe?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Here, Larry Brady, take the door off the hinges, an' lay it down on the + flure, till Dick Malone dances the <i>Humors of Glynn</i>: silence, boys, + not a word; but just keep lookin' an.” + </p> + <p> + “Who'll sing, sir? for I can't be afther dancin' a step widout the music.” + </p> + <p> + “Boys, which of yez'll sing for Dick? I say, boys, will none of yez give + Dick the Harmony? Well, come, Dick, I'll sing for you myself: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Tooral lol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lorral, lol— + Toldherol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lol,” etc., etc. +</pre> + <p> + “I say, Misther Kavanagh,” said the strange master, “what angle does + Dick's heel form in the second step of the treble, from the kibe on the + left foot to the corner of the door forninst him?” + </p> + <p> + To this mathematical poser Mat made no reply, only sang the tune with + redoubled loudness and strength, whilst little Dicky pounded the old crazy + door with all his skill and alacrity. The “boys” were delighted. + </p> + <p> + “Bravo, Dick, that's a man,—welt the flure—cut the buckle—murder + the clocks—rise upon suggaun, and sink upon gad—-down the + flure flat, foot about—keep one foot on the ground and t'other never + off it,” saluted him from all parts of the house. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes he would receive a sly hint, in a feigned voice, to call for + “Devil stick the Fiddler,” alluding to the master. Now a squeaking voice + would chime in; by and by another, and so on until the master's bass had a + hundred and forty trebles, all in chorus to the same tune. + </p> + <p> + Just at this moment the two gentlemen altered; and, reader, you may + conceive, but I cannot describe, the face which Mat (who sat with his back + to the door, and did not; see them until they were some time in the + house), exhibited on the occasion. There he sung ore rotundo, throwing + forth an astonishing tide of voice; whilst little Dick, a thin, pale-faced + urchin, with his head, from which the hair stood erect, sunk between his + hollow shoulders, was performing prodigious feats of agility. + </p> + <p> + “What's the matter? what's the matter?” said the gentlemen. “Good morning, + Mr. Kavanagh!” + </p> + <p> + ——Tooral lol, lol—— + </p> + <p> + Oh, good—-Oh, good morning—-gintlemen, with extrame kindness,” + replied Mat, rising suddenly up, but not removing his hat, although the + gentlemen instantly uncovered. + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, gintlemen,” he continued, “you have caught us in our little + relaxations to-day; but—hem!—I mane to give the boys a holiday + for the sake of this honest and respectable gintleman in the frize jock, + who is not entirely ignorant, you persave, of litherature; and we had a + small taste, gintlemen, among ourselves, of Sathurnalian licentiousness, + <i>ut ita dicam</i>, in regard of—hem!—in regard of this lad + here, who was dancing a hornpipe upon the door, and we, in absence of + betther music, had to supply him with the harmony; but, as your honors + know, gintlemen, the greatest men have bent themselves on espacial + occasions.” + </p> + <p> + “Make no apology, Mr. Kavanagh; it's very commendable in you to bend + yourself by condescending to amuse your pupils.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg your pardon, Squire, I can take freedoms with you; but perhaps the + concomitant gentleman, your friend here, would be pleased to take my + stool. Indeed, I always use a chair, but the back of it, if I may, be + permitted the use of a small portion of jocularity, was as frail as the + fair sect: it went home yisterday to be mended. Do, sir, condescind to be + sated. Upon my reputation, Squire, I'm sorry that I have not accommodation + for you, too, sir; except one of these hassocks, which, in joint + considheration with the length of your honor's legs, would be, I + anticipate, rather low; but you, sir, will honor me by taking the stool.” + </p> + <p> + By considerable importunity he forced the gentleman to comply with his + courtesy; but no sooner had he fixed himself upon the seat than it + overturned, and stretched him, black coat and all, across a wide concavity + in the floor nearly filled up with white ashes produced from mountain + turf. In a moment he was completely white on one side, and exhibited a + most laughable appearance; his hat, too, was scorched and nearly burned on + the turf coals. Squire Johnston laughed heartily, so did the other + schoolmaster, whilst the Englishman completely lost his temper—swearing + that such another uncivilized establishment was not between the poles. + </p> + <p> + “I solemnly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons,” said Mat; “bad manners + to it for a stool! but, your honor, it was my own detect of speculation, + bekase, you see, it's minus a leg—a circumstance of which you + waren't wi a proper capacity to take cognation, its not being personally + acquainted with it. I humbly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons.” + </p> + <p> + The Englishman was now nettled, and determined to wreak his ill-temper on + Mat, by turning him and his establishment into ridicule. + </p> + <p> + “Isn't this, Mister ——— I forget your name, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Mat Kavanagh, at your sarvice.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, my learned friend, Mr. Mat Kevanagh, isn't this precisely what + is called a hedge-school?” + </p> + <p> + “A hedge-school!” replied Mat, highly offended; “my seminary a + hedge-school! No, sir; I scorn the cognomen in toto. This, sir, is a + Classical and Mathematical Seminary, under the personal superintendence of + your humble servant.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” replied the other master, who till then was silent, wishing, + perhaps, to sack Mat in presence of the gentlemen, “it is a hedge-school; + and he is no scholar, but an ignoramus, whom I'd sack in three minutes, + that would be ashamed of a hedge-school.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” says Mat, changing his tone, and taking the cue from his friend, + whose learning he dreaded, “it's just for argument's sake, a hedge-school; + and, what is more, I scorn to be ashamed of it.” + </p> + <p> + “And do you not teach occasionally under the hedge behind the house here?” + </p> + <p> + “Granted,” replied Mat; “and now where's your <i>vis consequentiae?</i>” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” subjoined the other, “produce your <i>vis consequentiae</i>; but + any one may know by a glance that the divil a much of it's about you.” + </p> + <p> + The Englishman himself was rather at a loss for the <i>vis consequentiae</i>, + and replied, “Why don't you live, and learn, and teach like civilized + beings, and not assemble like wild asses—pardon me, my friend, for + the simile—at least like wild colts, in such clusters behind the + ditches?” + </p> + <p> + “A clusther of wild coults!” said Mat; “that shows what you are; no man of + classical larnin' would use such a word. If you had stuck at the asses, we + know it's a subject you're at home in—ha! ha! ha!—but you + brought the joke on yourself, your honor—that is, if it is a joke—ha! + ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Permit me, sir,” replied the strange master, “to ax your honor one + question—did you receive a classical education? Are you + college-bred?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied the Englishman; “I can reply to both in the affirmative. + I'm a Cantabrigian.” + </p> + <p> + “You are a what?” asked Mat. + </p> + <p> + “I am a Cantabrigian.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, sir, you must explain yourself, if you plase. I'll take my oath + that's neither a classical nor a mathematical tarm.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman smiled. “I was educated in the English College of + Cambridge.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” says Mat, “and may be you would be as well off if you had picked + up your larnin' in our own Thrinity; there's good picking in Thrinity, for + gentlemen like you, that are sober, and harmless about the brains, in + regard of not being overly bright.” + </p> + <p> + “You talk with contempt of a hedge-school,” replied the other master. “Did + you never hear, for all so long as you war in Cambridge, of a nate little + spot in Greece called the groves of Academus? + </p> + <p> + “'Inter lucos Academi quarrere verum.' + </p> + <p> + “What was Plato himself but a hedge schoolmaster? and, with humble + submission, it casts no slur on an Irish tacher to be compared to him, I + think. You forget also, sir, that the Dhruids taught under their oaks: + eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” added Mat, “and the Tree of Knowledge, too. Faith, an' if that same + tree was now in being, if there wouldn't be hedge schoolmasters, there + would be plenty of hedge scholars, any how—particularly if the fruit + was well tasted.” + </p> + <p> + “I believe, Millbank, you must give in,” said Squire Johnston. “I think + you have got the worst of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Mat, “if the gintleman's not afther bein' sacked clane, I'm + not here.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you a mathematician?” inquired Mat's friend, determined to follow up + his victory; “do you know Mensuration?” + </p> + <p> + “Come, I do know Mensuration,” said the Englishman, with confidence. + </p> + <p> + “And how would you find the solid contents of a load of thorns?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, or how will you consther and parse me this sintince?” said Mat— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Ragibus et clotibus solemus stopere windous, + Non numerus sumus et fruges consumere nati, + Stercora flat stiro raro terra-tanfcaro bungo.'” + </pre> + <p> + “Aisy, Mister Kavanagh,” replied the other; “let the Cantabrigian resolve + the one I propounded him first.” + </p> + <p> + “And let the Cantabrigian then take up mine,” said Mat: “and if he can + expound it, I'll give him a dozen more to bring home in his pocket, for + the Cambridge folk to crack after their dinner, along wid their nuts.” + </p> + <p> + “Can you do the 'Snail?'” inquired the stranger.. + </p> + <p> + “Or 'A and B on opposite sides of a wood,' without the Key?” said Mat. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe,” said the stranger, who threw off the frize jock, and exhibited a + muscular frame of great power, cased in an old black coat—“maybe the + gintleman would like to get a small taste of the '<i>Scuffle</i>'” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all,” replied the Englishman; “I have not the least curiosity for + it—I assure you I have not. What the deuce do they mean, Johnston? I + hope you have influence over them.” + </p> + <p> + “Hand me down that cudgel, Jack Brady, till I show the gintleman the + 'Snail' and the 'Maypole,'” said Mat. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, my lad; never mind, Mr ———a———Kevanagh. + I give up the contest; I resign you the palm, gentlemen. The hedge school + has beaten Cambridge hollow.” + </p> + <p> + “One poser more before you go, sir,” said Mat—“Can you give me Latin + for a <i>game-egg</i> in two words?” + </p> + <p> + “Eh, a game egg? No, by my honor, I cannot—gentlemen, I yield.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, I thought so,” replied Mat; “and, faith, I believe the divil a much + of the game bird about you—you bring it home to Cambridge, anyhow, + and let them chew their cuds upon it, you persave; and, by the sowl of + Newton, it will puzzle the whole establishment, or my name's not + Kavanagh.” + </p> + <p> + “It will, I am convinced,” replied the gentleman, eyeing the herculean + frame of the strange teacher and the substantial cudgel in Mat's hand; “it + will, undoubtedly. But who is this most miserable naked lad here, Mr. + Kevanagh?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, sir,” replied Mat, with his broad Milesian face, expanded by a + forthcoming joke, “he is, sir, in a sartin and especial particularity, a + namesake of your own.” + </p> + <p> + “How is that, Mr. Kevanagh?” + </p> + <p> + “My name's not Kevanagh,” replied Mat, “but Kavanagh; the Irish A for + ever!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but how is the lad a namesake of mine?” said the Englishman. + </p> + <p> + “Bekase, you see, he's a, poor scholar, sir,” replied Mat: “an' I hope + your honor will pardon me for the facetiousness— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 'Quid vetat ridentem dicere verum!' +</pre> + <p> + as Horace says to Maecenas, in the first of the Sathirs.” + </p> + <p> + “There, Mr. Kavanagh, is the price of a suit of clothes for him.” + </p> + <p> + “Michael, will you rise up, sir, and make the gintleman a bow? he has + given you the price of a shoot of clothes, ma bouchal.” + </p> + <p> + Michael came up with a very tattered coat hanging about him; and, catching + his forelock, bobbed down his head after the usual manner, saying—“Musha + yarrah, long life to your honor every day you rise, an' the Lord grant + your sowl a short stay in purgatory, wishin' ye, at the same time, a happy + death aftherwards!” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman could not stand this, but laughed so heartily that the + argument was fairly knocked up. + </p> + <p> + It appeared, however, that Squire Johnston did not visit Mat's school from + mere curiosity. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Kavanagh,” said he, “I would be glad to have a little private + conversation with you, and will thank you to walk down the road a little + with this gentleman and me.” + </p> + <p> + When the gentlemen and Mat had gone ten or fifteen yards from the school + door, the Englishman heard himself congratulated in the following phrases + by the scholars:— + </p> + <p> + “How do you feel afther bein' sacked, gintleman? The masther sacked you! + You're a purty scholar! It's not you, Mr. Johnston, it's the other. You'll + come to argue agin, will you? Where's your head, Bah! Come back till we + put the <i>suggaun</i>* about your neck. Bah! You now must go to school to + Cambridge agin, before you can argue an Irisher! Look at the figure he + cuts! Why duv ye put the one foot past the other, when ye walk, for? Bah! + Dunce!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The suggaun was a collar of straw which was put round + the necks of the dunces, who were then placed at the + door, that their disgrace might be as public as + possible. +</pre> + <p> + “Well, boys, never heed yez for that,” shouted Mat; “never fear but I'll + castigate yez, ye spalpeen villains, as soon as I go back. Sir,” said Mat, + “I supplicate upwards of fifty pardons. I assure you, sir, I'll give them + a most inordinate castigation, for their want of respectability.” + </p> + <p> + “What's the Greek for tobaccy?” they continued—“or for Larry + O'Toole? or for bletherum skite? How many beans makes five? What's the + Latin for poteen, and flummery? You a mathemathitician! could you measure + a snail's horn? How does your hat stay up and nothing undher it? Will you + fight Barny Parrel wid one hand tied! I'd lick you myself! What's Greek + for gosther?”—with many other expressions of a similar stamp. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said Mat, “lave the justice of this in my hands. By the sowl of + Newton, your own counthryman, ould Isaac, I'll flog the marrow out of + them.” + </p> + <p> + “You have heard, Mr. Kavanagh,” continued Mr. Johnston, as they went + along, “of the burning of Moore's stable and horses, the night before + last. The fact is, that the magistrates of the county are endeavoring to + get the incendiaries, and would render a service to any person capable, + either directly or indirectly, of facilitating the object, or stumbling on + a clew to the transaction.” + </p> + <p> + “And how could I do you a sarvice in it, sir?” inquired Mat. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” replied Mr. Johnston, “from the children. If you could sift them in + an indirect way, so as, without suspicion, to ascertain the absence of a + brother, or so, on that particular night, I might have it in my power to + serve you, Mr. Kavanagh. There will be a large reward offered to-morrow, + besides.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, damn the penny of the reward ever I'd finger, even if I knew the + whole conflagration,” said Mat; “but lave the siftin' of the children wid + myself, and if I can get anything out of them you'll hear from me; but + your honor must keep a close mouth, or you might have occasion to lend me + the money for my own funeral some o' these days. Good-morning, gintlemen.” + The gentlemen departed. + </p> + <p> + “May the most ornamental kind of hard fortune pursue you every day you + rise, you desavin' villain, that would have me turn informer, bekase your + brother-in-law, rack-rintin' Moore's stables and horses were burnt; and to + crown all, make the innocent childre the means of hanging their own + fathers or brothers, you rap of the divil! but I'd see you and all your + breed in the flames o' hell first.” Such was Mat's soliloquy as he entered + the school on his return. + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys, I'm afther givin' yez to-day and to-morrow for a holyday: + to-morrow we will have our Gregory;* a fine faste, plinty of poteen, and a + fiddle; and you will tell your brothers and sisters to come in the evening + to the dance. You must bring plinty of bacon, hung beef, and fowls, bread + and cabbage—not forgetting the phaties, and sixpence a-head for the + crathur, boys, won't yez?” + </p> + <p> + The next day, of course, was one of festivity; every boy brought, in fact, + as much provender as would serve six; but the surplus gave Mat some good + dinners for three months to come. This feast was always held upon St. + Gregory's day, from which circumstance it had its name. The pupils were at + liberty for that day to conduct themselves as they pleased: and the + consequence was, that they became generally intoxicated, and were brought + home in that state to their parents. If the children of two opposite + parties, chanced to be at the same school, they usually had a fight, of + which the master was compelled to feign ignorance; for if he identified + himself with either faction, his residence in the neighborhood would be + short. In other districts, where Protestant schools were in existence, a + battle-royal commonly took place between the opposite establishments, in + some field lying half-way between them. This has often occurred. + </p> + <p> + Every one must necessarily be acquainted with the ceremony of <i>barring + out</i>. This took place at Easter and Christmas. The master was brought + or sent out on some fool's errand, the door shut and barricaded, and the + pedagogue excluded, until a certain term of vacation was extorted. With + this, however, the master never complied until all his efforts at forcing + an entrance were found to be ineffectual; because if he succeeded in + getting in, they not only had no claim to a long vacation, but were liable + to be corrected. The schoolmaster had also generally the clerkship of the + parish; an office, however, which in the country parts of Ireland is + without any kind of salary, beyond what results from the patronage of the + priest; a matter of serious moment to a teacher, who, should he incur his + Reverence's displeasure, would be immediately driven out of the parish. + The master, therefore, was always tyrannical and insolent to the people, + in proportion as he stood high in the estimation of the priest. He was + also a regular attendant at all wakes and funerals, and usually sat among + a crowd of the village sages engaged in exhibiting his own learning, and + in recounting the number of his religious and literary disputations. + </p> + <p> + One day, soon after the visit of the gentlemen above mentioned, two + strange men came into Mat's establishment—rather, as Mat thought, in + an unceremonious manner. + </p> + <p> + “Is your name Matthew Kavanagh?” said one of them. + </p> + <p> + “That is indeed the name that's upon me,” said Mat, with rather an infirm + voice, whilst his face got as pale as ashes. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said the fellow, “we'll just trouble you to walk with us a bit.” + </p> + <p> + “How far, with submission, are yez goin' to bring me?” said Mat. + </p> + <p> + “Do you know Johnny Short's hotel?” * + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The county jail.—Johnny Short was for many years the + Governor of Monaghan jail. It was to him the <i>Mittimus</i> + of “Fool Art,” mentioned in Phelim O'Toole's Courtship, + was directed. If the reader will suspend his curiosity, + that is, provided he feels any, until he comes to the + sketch just mentioned, he will get a more ample account + of Johnny Short. +</pre> + <p> + “My curse upon you, Findramore,” exclaimed Mat, in a paroxysm of anguish, + “every day you rise! but your breath's unlucky to a schoolmaster; and it's + no lie what was often said, that no schoolmaster ever thruv in you, but + something ill came over him.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't curse the town, man alive,” said the constable, “but curse your own + ignorance and folly; any way, I wouldn't stand in your coat for the wealth + of the three kingdoms. You'll undoubtedly swing, unless you turn king's + evidence. It's about Moore's business, Mr. Kavanagh.” + </p> + <p> + “Damn the bit of that I'd do, even if I knew anything about it; but, God + be praised for it, I can set them all at defiance—that I'm sure of. + Gentlemen, innocence is a jewel.” + </p> + <p> + “But Barny Brady, that keeps the shebeen house—you know him—is + of another opinion. You and some of the Pindramore boys took a sup in + Barny's on a sartin night?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, did we, on many a night, and will agin, plase Providence—no + harm in takin' a sup any how—by the same token, that may be you and + yer friend here would have a drop of rale stuff, as a thrate from me?” + </p> + <p> + “I know a thrick worth two of that,” said the man; “I thank ye kindly, Mr. + Kavanagh.” + </p> + <p> + One Tuesday morning, about six weeks after this event, the largest crowd + ever remembered in that neighborhood was assembled at Findramore Hill, + whereon had been erected a certain wooden machine, yclept—a gallows. + A little after the hour of eleven o'clock two carts were descried winding + slowly down a slope in the southern side of the town and church, which I + have already mentioned, as terminating the view along the level road north + of the hill. As soon as they were observed, a low, suppressed ejaculation + of horror ran through the crowd, painfully perceptible to the ear—in + the expression of ten thousand murmurs all blending into one deep groan—and + to the eye, by a simultaneous motion that ran through the crowd like an + electric shock. The place of execution was surrounded by a strong + detachment of military; and the carts that conveyed the convicts were also + strongly guarded. + </p> + <p> + As the prisoners approached the fatal spot, which was within sight of the + place where the outrage had been perpetrated, the shrieks and lamentations + of their relations and acquaintances were appalling indeed. Fathers, + mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins, and all persons to the most remote + degree of kindred and acquaintanceship, were present—all excited by + the alternate expression of grief and low-breathed vows of retaliation; + not only relations, but all who were connected with them by the bonds of + their desperate and illegal oaths. Every eye, in fact, coruscated with a + wild and savage fire, that shot from under brows knit in a spirit that + deemed to cry out Blood, vengeance—blood, vengeance! The expression + was truly awful; all what rendered it more terrific was the writhing + reflection, that numbers and physical force were unavailing against a + comparatively small body of armed troops. This condensed the fiery impulse + of the moment into an expression of subdued rage, that really shot like + livid gleams from their visages. + </p> + <p> + At length the carts stopped under the gallows; and, after a short interval + spent in devotional exercise, three of the culprits ascended the platform, + who, after recommending themselves to God, and avowing their innocence, + although the clearest possible evidence of guilt had been brought against + them, were launched into another life, among the shrieks and groans of the + multitude. The other three then ascended; two of them either declined, or + had not strength to address the assembly. The third advanced to the edge + of the boards—it was Mat. After two or three efforts to speak, in + which he was unsuccessful from bodily weakness, he at length addressed + them as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “My friends and good people—In hopes that you may be all able to + demonstrate the last proposition laid down by a dying man, I undertake to + address you before I depart to that world where Euclid, De Cartes, and + many other larned men are gone before me. There is nothing in all + philosophy more true than that, as the multiplication-table says, 'two and + two makes four;' but it is equally veracious and worthy of credit, that if + you do not abnegate this system that you work the common rules of your + proceedings by—if you don't become loyal men, and give up burnin' + and murdherin', the solution of it will be found on the gallows. I + acknowledge myself to be guilty, for not separatin' myself clane from yez; + we have been all guilty, and may God forgive thim that jist now departed + wid a lie in their mouth.” + </p> + <p> + Here he was interrupted by a volley of execrations and curses, mingled + with “stag, informer, thraithor to the thrue cause!” which, for some time, + compelled him to be silent. + </p> + <p> + “You may curse,” continued Mat; “but it's too late now to abscond the + truth—the <i>sum</i> of my wickedness and folly is worked out, and + you see the <i>answer</i>. God forgive me, many a young crathur I enticed + into the <i>Ribbon</i> business, and now it's to ind in <i>Hemp</i>. Obey + the law; or, if you don't you will find a <i>lex talionis</i> the + construction of which is, that if a man burns or murdhers he won't miss + hanging; take warning by me—by us all; for, although I take God to + witness that I was not at the perpetration of the crime that I'm to be + suspinded for, yet I often connived, when I might have superseded the + carrying of such intuitions into effectuality. I die in pace wid all the + world, save an' except the Findramore people, whom, may the maledictionary + execration of a dying man follow into eternal infinity! My manuscription + of conic sections—” Here an extraordinary buz commenced among the + crowd, which rose gradually into a shout of wild, astounding exultation. + The sheriff followed the eyes of the multitude, and perceived a horseman + dashing with breathless fury up towards the scene of execution. He carried + and waved a white handkerchief on the end of a rod, and made signals with + his hat to stop the execution. He arrived, and brought a full pardon for + Mat, and a commutation of sentence to transportation for life for the + other two. What became of Mat I know not; but in Findramore he never dared + to appear, as certain death would have been the consequence of his not + dying <i>game</i>. With respect to Barny Brady, who kept the shebeen, and + was the principal evidence against those who were concerned in this + outrage, he was compelled to enact an <i>ex tempore</i> death in less than + a month afterwards; having been found dead, with a slip of paper in his + mouth, inscribed—“This is the fate of all Informers.” + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + (Note to page 834.) + </p> + <p> + The Author, in order to satisfy his readers that the character of Mat + Kavanagh as a hedge schoolmaster is not by any means overdrawn, begs to + subjoin (verbatim) the following authentic production of one, which will + sufficiently explain itself, and give an excellent notion of the mortal + feuds and jealousies which subsist between persons of this class:— + </p> + <p> + “To the Public.—Having read a printed Document, emanating, as it + were, from a vile, mean, and ignorant miscreant of the name of ———, + calumniating and vituperating me; it is evidently the production of a + vain, supercilious, disappointed, frantic, purblind maniac of the name of + ———, a bedlamite to all intents and purposes, a demon in + the disguise of virtue, and a herald of hell in the paradise of innocence, + possessing neither principle, honor, nor honesty; a vain and vapid + creature whom nature plumed out for the annoyance of ——— + and its vicinity. + </p> + <p> + “It is well known and appreciated by an enlightened and discerning public, + that I am as competently qualified to conduct the duties of a Schoolmaster + as any Teacher in Munster. (Here I pause, stimulated by dove-eyed + humility, and by the fine and exalted feelings of nature, to make a few + honorable exceptions, particularly when I memorize the names and immortal + fame of a Mr. ———, a Mr.————-, a + Mr. ————-, a Mr.————-, a + Mr. ————-, a Mr. ————, + ————-; a Mr. Matt. ————-, + ————-; a Mr.————-, ————-; + and many other stars of the first magnitude, too numerous for insertion). + </p> + <p> + “The notorious impostor and biped animal already alluded to, actuated by + an overweening desire of notoriety, and in order to catch the applause of + some one, grovelling in the morasses of insignificance and vice, like + himself, leaves his native obscurity, and indulges in falsehood, calumny, + and defamation. I am convinced that none of the highly respectable + Teachers of ———— has had any participation in this + scurrilous transaction, as I consider them to be sober, moral, exemplary + well-conducted men, possessed of excellent literary abilities; but this + expatriated ruffian and abandoned profligate, being aware of the marked + and unremitting attention which I have heretofore invariably paid to the + scholars committed to my care, and the astonishing proficiency which, + generally speaking, will be an accompaniment of competency, instruction, + assiduity and perseverance, devised this detestable and fiendish course in + order to tarnish and injure my unsullied character, it being generally + known and justly acknowledged that I never gave utterance to an unguarded + word—that I have always conducted myself as a man of inoffensive, + mild, and gentle habits, of unblemished moral character, and perfectly + sensible of the importance of inculcating on the young mind, moral and + religious instruction, a love of decency, cleanliness, industry, honesty, + and truth—that my only predominant fault some years ago, consisted + in partaking of copious libations of the 'Moantain Dew,' which I shall for + ever mourn with heartfelt compunction.—But I return thanks to the + Great God, for more than eighteen months my lips have not partaken of that + infuriating beverage to which I was unfortunately attached, and my + habitual propensity vanished at the sanctified and ever-memorable sign of + the cross—the memento of man's lofty destination, and miraculous + injunction, of the great, illustrious, and never-to-be-forgotten Apostle + of Temperance. I am now an humble member of this exemplary and excellent + society, which is engaged in the glorious and hallowed cause of promoting + Temperance, with the zealous solicitude of parents.—I am one of + these noble men, because they are sober men, who have triumphed over their + habits, conquered their passions, and put their predominant propensities + to flight; yes, kind-hearted, magnanimous, and lofty high, minded + conqueror, I have to announce to you that I have gained repeated + victories, and consigned to oblivion the hydra-headed monster, + Intemperance; and in consequence of which, have been consigned from + poverty and misery, to affluence and happiness, possessing 'ready rino,' + or ample pecuniary means to make one comfortable and happy thereby + enjoying 'the feast of reason and the flow of soul,' i.e.,—an + honest, cozy warm, comfortable cup of tea, to consign my drooping, sober, + and cheerful spirits into the flow of soul, and philosophy of pleasure. I, + therefore, do feel I hid no occasion to speak a word in vindication of my + conduct and character. A conspiracy in embryo, formed by a triumvirate, + was brought to maturity by as experienced a calumniator, as Canty, the + Hangman from Cork, was in the discharge of his functions, when in the + situation of municipal officer; and the hoary-headed cadman and + crack-brained Pedagogue was appointed a necessary evil vehicle for + industriously circulating said maniac calumny. Why did not this base + Plebeian, anterior to his giving publicity to the tartaric nausea that + rankled at his gloomy heart, forward the corroding philippic, and bid + defiance to my contradiction? No, no; he knew full well that with his + scanty stock of English ammunition scattered over the sterile floor of his + literary magazine, he could not have the effrontery, impudence, or + presumption to enter the list of philosophical and scientific disputation + with one who has traversed the thorny paths of literature, explored its + mazy windings, and who is thoroughly and radically fortified, as being + encompassed with the impenetrable shield of genuine science. This red, + hot, fiery, unguarded locust, in the inanity of his mind's + incomprehensibleness, has not only incurred my displeasure by his + satirical dogged Lampoons, etc., but the abhorrence, animosity, and holy + indignation of many who move in the high circle, as well as the ineffable + contempt of the majority of those good and useful members of society, who + are engaged in the glorious and delightful task of 'teaching the young + idea how to shoot,' and forming the mind to rectitude of conduct; and + whose labors are tremendous—I speak from long and considerable + experience in scholastic pursuits. I am as perfectly aware as any man of + the friendly intercourse, urbanity, and social reciprocation of kindness + and demeanor that ought to exist among Teachers;—and, in a word, + that they should be like the sun and moon—receptacles of each + other's light. But these malicious, ignorant, callous-hearted traducers + finding it perfectly congenial to their usual habits, and perhaps feeling + no remorse of conscience in departing from those principles which must + always accompany men of education, carry into effect their scheme of + wanton, atrocious, and deliberate falsehood. And accordingly, in pursuance + of their infernal piece of villainy, one of them being sensible of being + held in contempt and ridicule by an enlightened public—whose + approbation alone is the true criterion by which Teachers ought to be + sanctioned, countenanced, and patronized—incited, ordered, and + directed, the aforesaid Lampooner—a reckless, heartless, illiterate, + evil-minded ghost, yes my friends an evil-spirit, created by the wrath of + God—to pour out the rigmarole effusions of his silly and + contemptible lucubrations. It is a well-known fact, that this vile + calumniator is the shame, the disgrace, the opprobrium, and brand of + detestation; the sacrilegious and perjured outcast of society, who would + cut any man's throat for one glass of the soul-destroying beverage. This + accursed viper and well-known hobgoblin, labors under a complication of + maladies: at one time you might see him leaving the Court-house of with + the awful crime of perjury depicted in capital letters on his forehead, + and indelibly engraven in the recesses of his heart, considering that + every tongueless object was eloquent of his woe, and at periods laboring + under a semi-perspicuous, semi-opaque, gutta-serena, attended with an + acute palpitation of his pericranium, and a most tormenting delirium of + intellects from which he finds not the least mitigation until he + consopiates his optics under the influence of Morpheus. There are ties of + affinity and consanguinity existing between this manfacturer of atrocious + falsehoods and barefaced calumnies, and a Jack-Ass, which ties cannot be + easily dissolved, the affinity or similitude is perceptible to an + indifferent observer in the accent, pronunciation, modulation of the voice + of the biped animal, and in the braying of the quadruped. This Jack-Ass + you might also behold perambulating the streets of ———, + a second Judas Iscariot—a houseless, homeless, penniless, forlorn + fugitive, like Old Nick or Beelzebub, seeking whom he might betray and + injure in the public estimation, in rapacity, or in discharging a + blunderbuss full of falsehood against the most pure and unimpeachable + Member of society! Is it not astonishing this wretched, braying, + incorrigible mendicant does not put on a more firm and unalterable + resolution of taking pattern by, and living in accordance with the + laudable and exemplary habits of members of the Literatii, the ornament of + which learned body is the Rev. Dr. King, of Ennis College, a gentleman by + birth, by principles, and more than all, a gentleman by education; whose + mind is pregnant with inexhaustible stores of classical and mathematical + lore, entertainment and knowledge; whose learning and virtues have shed a + lustre on the human kind; a gentleman possessing almost superhuman + talents. No, he must persevere and run in his accustomed old course of + abomination, slander, iniquity, and vice. + </p> + <p> + “In conclusion, to the R. C. Clergymen of ———, and the + respectable portion of the laity, I return my ardent heartfelt thanks—to + the former, who are the pious, active, and indefatigable instructors of + the peasantry, their consolers in affliction, their resource in calamity, + their preceptors and models in religion, the trustees of their interest, + their visitors in sickness, and their companions on their beds of death; + and from the latter I have experienced considerable gratitude in unison + with all the other fine qualities inherent in their nature; while neither + time nor place shall ever banish from my grateful I heart, their urbanity, + hospitality, munificence, and kindness to me on every occasion. + </p> + <p> + “I have the honor to be their very devoted, much obliged, and grateful + Servant, + </p> + <p> + “JOHN O'KELLY. + </p> + <p> + “The itinerant cosmopolite, to use his own phraseology, accuses me with + being lame—I reply, so was Lord Byron; and why not a 'Star from + Dromcoloher' be similarly honored, for + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + If God, one member has oppress'd, + He has made more perfect all the rest. +</pre> + <p> + “The following poetic lines are to be inserted in reply to the doggerel + composition of the equivocating and hoary champion of wilful and + deliberate falsehood, and a compound of knavery, deception, villainy, and + dissimulation, wherever he goes:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “O'Kelly's my name, + I think it no shame, + Of sempiternal fame in that line, + As for my being lame, + The rest of my frame, + Is somewhat superior to thine. + + These addled head swains, + Of paralyzed brains, + Who charge me with corrupting youth, + Are a perjuring pair, + In Belzebub's chair, + Stamped with disgrace and untruth.” + </pre> + <p> + We are obliged to omit some remarks that accompanied the following + poetical effusion:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “A book to the blind signifies not a feather, + Whose look and whose mind chime both together, + Boreas, pray blow this vile rogue o'er the terry, + For he is a disgrace and a scandal to Kerry.” + </pre> + <p> + The writer of this, after passing the highest eulogium on the Rev. Mr. + O'Kelly, P.P., Kilmichael, in speaking of him, says, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “In whom, the Heavenly virtues do unite, + Serenely fair, in glowing colors bright, + The shivering mendicant's attire, + The stranger's friend, the orphan's sire, + Benevolent and mild; + The guide of youth, + The light of truth, + By all condignly styl'd.” + </pre> + <p> + A gentleman having applied for a transcript of this interesting document + for his daughter, Mr. O'Kelly says, “This transcript is given with perfect + cheerfulness, at the suggestion of the amiable, accomplished, + highly-gifted, original genius, Miss Margaret Brew, of ————, + to whom, with the most respectful deference, I take the liberty of + applying the following most appropriate poetic lines:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Kilrush, a lovely spot of Erin's Isle, + May you and your fair ones in rapture smile, + By force of genius and superior wit, + Any station in high life, they'd lit. + Raise the praise worthy, in style unknown, + Laud her, who has great merit of her own. + Had I the talents of the bards of yore, + I would touch my harp and sing for ever more, + Of Miss Brew, unrivaled, and in her youth, + The ornament of friendship, love and truth. + That fair one, whose matchless eloquence divine, + Finds out the sacred pores of man sublime, + Tells us, a female of Kilrush doth shine. + In point of language, eloquence, and ease, + She equals the celebrated Dowes now-a-days, + A splendid poetess—how sweet her verse, + That which, without a blush, Downes might rehearse; + Her throbbing breast the home of virtue rare, + Her bosom, warm, loving and sincere, + A mild fair one, the muses only care, + Of learning, sense, true wit, and talents rare; + Endless her fame, on golden wings she'd fly, + Loud as the trumpet of the rolling sky. +</pre> + <p> + “I avail myself of this opportunity, in the most humble posture, the + pardon and indulgence of that nobleman of the most profound considerable + talents, unbounded liberality, and genuine worth, Crofton M. Yandeleur, + Esq., for the culpable omission, which I have incautiously and inadvertly + made, in not prior to, and before all, tendered his honor, my warm hearted + and best acknowledgments, and participating in the general joy, visible + here on every countenance, occasioned by the restoration to excellent + health, which his most humane, truly charitable, and illustrious beloved + patroness of virtue and morality, Lady Grace T. Yandeleur, now enjoys May + they very late, when they see their children, as well as their numerous, + happy and contented tenantry, flourish around them in prosperity, virtue, + honor, and independence—may they then resign their temporal care, to + partake of the never-ending joys, glory, and felicity of Heaven; these are + the fervent wishes and ardent prayers of their ever grateful servant, + </p> + <p> + “JOHN O'KELLY. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “O rouse my muse and launch in praise forth, + Dwell with delight, with extasy on worth; + In these kind souls in conspicuous flows, + Their liberal hands expelling-human woes. + Tell, when dire want oppressed the needy poor, + They drove the ghastly spectre from the door. + Such noble actions yield more pure content, + Than thousands squander'd or in banquets spent. +</pre> + <p> + “I hope, kind and extremely patient reader, you will find my piece + humorous, interesting, instructive, and edifying. In delineating and + drawing to life the representation of my assailant, aggressor, and + barefaced calumniator. I have preferred the natural order, free, and + familiar style, to the artificial order, grave, solemn, and antiquated + style; and in so doing, I have had occasion to have reference to the vocal + metaphrase of some words. With a due circumspection of the use of their + synonymy, taking care that the import and acceptation of each phrase and + word should not appear frequently synonymous. Again. I have applied the + whip unsparingly to his back, and have given him such a laudable + castigation, as to compel him to comport himself in future with propriety + and politeness; yes, it is quite obvious that I have done it, by an + appropriate selection of catogoramatic and cencatogoramatic terms and + words. I have been particularly careful to adorn it with some poetic + spontaneous effusions, and although I own to you, that I have no + pretensions to be an adept in poetry, as I have only moderately sipped of + the Helicon Fountain; yet from my knowledge of Orthometry I can prove the + correctness of it; by special and general metric analysis. In conclusion, + I have not indulged in Rhetorical figures and Tropes, but have rigidly + adhered to the use of figurative and literal language; finally I have used + a concatination of appropriate mellifluous epithets, logically and + philosophically accurate, copious, sublime, eloquent, and harmonious. + </p> + <p> + “Adieu! Adieu! Remember, JOHN O'KELLY, Literary Teacher, And a native of + Dromcoloher.” + </p> + <p> + “The author of this extempore production of writing a Treatise on Mental + Calculations, to which are appended more than three hundred scientific, + ingenious, and miscellaneous questions, with their solutions. + </p> + <p> + “Mental calculations for the first time are simplified, which will prove a + grand desideratum and of the greatest importance in mercantile affairs. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “You will not wonder when I will ye, + You have read some pieces from 0' Kelly; + Halt he does, but 'tis no more + Than Lord Byron did before; + Read his pieces and you'll find + There is no limping in his mind; + Reader, give your kind subscription, + Of you, he will give a grand description. + + Price 2s., to be paid in advance, +</pre> + <p> + “There are Sixty-eight Subscribers to the forthcoming work, gentlemen of + considerable Talents, Liberality, and worth;—who, with perfect + cheerfulness, have evinced a most laudable disposition to foster, + encourage, and reward, a specimen of Irish Manufacture and Native Talent, + in so humble a person as their extremely grateful, much obliged, and + faithful servant, + </p> + <p> + “JOHN O'KELLY.” <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE MIDNIGHT MASS. + </h2> + <p> + Frank M'Kenna was a snug farmer, frugal and industrious in his habits, + and, what is rare amongst most men of his class, addicted to neither drink + nor quarrelling. He lived at the skirt of a mountain, which ran up in long + successive undulations, until it ended in a dark, abrupt peak, very + perpendicular on one side, and always, except on a bright day, capped with + clouds. Before his door lay a hard plain, covered only with a kind of + bent, and studded with round gray rocks, protruding somewhat above its + surface. Through this plain, over a craggy channel, ran a mountain + torrent, that issued to the right of M'Kenna's house, from a rocky and + precipitous valley which twisted itself round the base of the mountain + until it reached the perpendicular side, where the peak actually overhung + it. On looking either from the bottom of the valley or the top of the + peak, the depth appeared immense; and, on a summer's day, when the black + thorns and other hardy shrubs that in some placas clothed its rocky sides + were green, to view the river sparkling below you in the sun, as it flung + itself over two or three cataracts of great depth and boldness, filled the + mind with those undefinable sensations of pleasure inseparable from a + contemplation of the sublimities of nature. Nor did it possess less + interest when beheld in the winter storm. Well do we remember, though then + ignorant of our own motives, when we have, in the turmoil of the elements, + climbed its steep, shaggy sides, disappearing like a speck, or something + not of earth, among the dark clouds that rolled over its summit, for no + other purpose than to stand upon its brow, and look down on the red + torrent, dashing with impetuosity from crag to crag, whilst the winds + roared, and the clouds flew in dark columns around us, giving to the + natural wildness of the place an air of wilder desolation.—Beyond + this glen the mountains stretched away for eight or ten miles in swelling + masses, between which lay many extensive sweeps, well sheltered and + abundantly stocked with game, particularly with hares and grouse. + M'Kenna's house stood, as I said, at the foot of this mountain, just where + the yellow surface of the plain began to darken into the deeper hues of + the heath; to the left lay a considerable tract of stony land in a state + of cultivation; and beyond the river, exactly opposite the house, rose a + long line of hills, studded with houses, and in summer diversified with + pasture and corn fields, the beauty of which was heightened by the columns + of smoke that slanted across the hills, as the breeze carried them through + the lucid haze of the atmosphere. + </p> + <p> + M'Kenna's family consisted of himself, his wife, two daughters, and two + sons. One of these was a young man addicted to drink, idle, ill-tempered, + and disobedient; seldom taking a part in the labors of the family, but + altogether devoted to field sports, fairs, markets, and dances. In many + parts of Ireland it is usual to play at cards for mutton, loaves, fowls, + or whiskey, and he was seldom absent from such gambling parties, if held + within a reasonable distance. Often had the other members of the family + remonstrated with him on his idle and immoral courses; but their + remonstrances only excited his bad passions, and produced, on his part, + angry and exasperating language, or open determination to abandon the + family altogether and enlist. For some years he went on in this way, a + hardened, ungodly profligate, spurning the voice of reproof and of + conscience, and insensible to the entreaties of domestic affection, or the + commands of parental authority. Such was his state of mind and mode of + life when our story opens. + </p> + <p> + At the time in which the incidents contained in this sketch took place, + the peasantry of Ireland, being less encumbered with heavy rents, and more + buoyant in spirits than the decay of national prosperity has of late + permitted them to be, indulged more frequently, and to a greater stretch, + in those rural sports and festivities so suitable to their natural love of + humor and amusement. Dances, wakes, and weddings, were then held according + to the most extravagant forms of ancient usage; the people were easier in + their circumstances, and consequently indulged in them with lighter + hearts, and a stronger relish for enjoyment. When any of the great + festivals of their religion approached, the popular mind, unrepressed by + poverty and national dissension, gradually elevated itself to a species of + wild and reckless mirth, productive of incidents irresistibly ludicrous, + and remarkably characteristic of Irish manners. It is not, however, to be + expected, that a people whose love of fighting is so innate a principle in + their disposition, should celebrate these festive seasons without an + occasional crime, which threw its deep shadow over the mirthful character + of their customs. Many such occurred; but they were looked upon then with + a degree of horror and detestation of which we can form but a very + inadequate idea at present. + </p> + <p> + It was upon the advent of one of those festivals—Christmas—which + the family of M'Kenna, like every other family in the neighborhood, were + making preparations to celebrate with the usual hilarity. They cleared out + their barn in order to have a dance on Christmas-eve; and for this + purpose, the two sons and the servant-man wrought with that kind of + industry produced by the cheerful prospect of some happy event. For a week + or fortnight before the evening on which the dance was appointed to be + held, due notice of it had been given to the neighbors, and, of course, + there was no doubt but that it would be numerously attended. + </p> + <p> + Christmas-eve, as the day preceding Christmas is called, has been always a + day of great preparation and bustle. Indeed the whole week previous to it + is also remarkable, as exhibiting the importance attached by the people to + those occasions on which they can give a loose to their love of fun and + frolic. The farm-house undergoes a thorough cleansing. Father and sons + are, or rather used to be, all engaged in repairing the out-houses, + patching them with thatch where it was wanted, mending mangers, paving + stable-floors, fixing cow-stakes, making boraghs,* removing nuisances, and + cleaning streets. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The rope with which a cow is tied in the cowhouse. +</pre> + <p> + On the ether hand, the mother, daughters and maids, were also engaged in + their several departments; the latter scouring the furniture with sand: + the mother making culinary preparations, baking bread, killing fowls, or + salting meat; whilst the daughters were unusually intent upon the + decoration of their own dress, and the making up of the family linen. All, + however, was performed with an air of gayety and pleasure; the ivy and + holly were disposed about the dressers and collar beams with great glee; + the chimneys were swept amidst songs and laughter; many bad voices, and + some good ones, were put in requisition; whilst several who had never been + known to chaunt a stave, alarmed the listeners by the grotesque and + incomprehensible nature of their melody. Those who were inclined to + devotion—and there is no lack of it in Ireland—took to carols + and hymns, which they sang, for want of better airs, to tunes highly + comic. We have ourselves often heard the Doxology sung in Irish verse to + the facetious air of “Paudeen O'Rafferty,” and other hymns to the tune of + “Peas upon a Trencher,” and “Cruskeen Lawn.” Sometimes, on the contrary, + many of them, from the very fulness of jollity, would become pathetic, and + indulge in those touching old airs of their country, which maybe + truly,called songs of sorrow, from the exquisite and simple pathos with + which they abound. This, though it may seem anomalous, is but natural; for + there is nothing so apt to recall to the heart those friends, whether + absent or dead, with whom it has been connected, as a stated festival. + Affection is then awakened, and summons to the hearth where it presides + those on whose face it loves to look; if they be living, it places them in + the circle of happiness which surrounds it; and if they be removed forever + from such scenes, their memory, which, amidst the din of ordinary life, + has almost passed away, is now restored, and their loss felt as if it had + been only just then sustained. For this reason, at such times, it is not + at all unusual to see the elders of Irish families touched by pathos as + well as humor. The Irish are a people whose affections are as strong as + their imaginations are vivid; and, in illustration of this, we may add, + that many a time have we seen them raised to mirth and melted into tears + almost at the same time, by a song of the most comic character. The mirth, + however, was for the song, and the sorrow for the memory of some beloved + relation who had been remarkable for singing it, or with whom it had been + a favorite. + </p> + <p> + We do not affirm that in the family of the M'Kennas there were, upon the + occasion which we were describing, any tears shed. The enjoyments of the + season and the humors of the expected dance, both combined to give them a + more than usual degree of mirth and frolic At an early hour all that was + necessary for the due celebration of that night and the succeeding day, + had been arranged and completed. The whiskey had been laid in, the + Christmas candles bought, the barn cleared out, the seats laid; in short, + every thing in its place, and a place for everything. About one o'clock, + however, the young members of the family began to betray some symptoms of + uneasiness; nor was M'Kenna himself, though the <i>farithee</i> or man of + the house, altogether so exempt from what they felt, as might, if the + cause of it were known to our readers, be expected from a man of his years + and experience. + </p> + <p> + From time to time one of the girls tripped out as far as the stile before + the door, where she stood looking in a particular direction until her + sight was fatigued. + </p> + <p> + “Och,' och,” her mother exclaimed during her absence, “but that colleen's + sick about Barny!—musha, but it would be the beautiful joke, all + out, if he'd disappoint the whole of yez. Faix, it wouldn't be unlike the + same man, to go wherever he can make most money; and sure small blame to + him for that; what's one place to him more than another?” + </p> + <p> + “Hut,” M'Kenna replied, rising, however, to go out himself, “the girsha's + makin' a <i>bauliore</i> (* laughing stock) of herself.” + </p> + <p> + “An' where's yourself slippin' out to?” rejoined his wife, with a wink of + shrewd humor at the rest. “I say, Frank, are you goin' to look for him + too? Mavrone, but that's sinsible! Why, thin, you snakin' ould rogue, is + that the way wid you? Throth I have often hard it said, that 'one fool + makes many;' but sure enough, 'an ould fools worse nor any.' Come in here + this minute, I say—walk back—you to have your horn up! Faix, + indeed!” + </p> + <p> + “Why! I am only goin' to get the small phaties boiled for the pigs, poor + crathurs, for their Christmas dinner. Sure we oughtn't to neglect thim no + more than ourselves, the crathurs, that can't spake their wants, except by + grantin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Saints above!—the Lord forgive me for bringin' down their names + upon a Christmas Eve, but it's beside himself the man is! an' him knows + that the phaties wor boiled an' made up into balls for them airly this + mornin'!” + </p> + <p> + In the meantime, the wife's good-natured attack upon her husband produced + considerable mirth in the family. In consequence of what she said, he + hesitated: but ultimately was proceeding towards the door, when the + daughter returned, her brow flushed, and her eye sparkling with mirth and + delight. + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” said the father, with a complacent smile, “all's right, Peggy, you + seen him, alanna. The music's in your eye, acushla; an' the' feet of you + can't keep themselves off o' the ground; an' all bekase you seen Barny + Dhal (* blind Barney) pokin' acrass the fields, wid his head up, an' his + skirt stickn' out behind him wid Granua Waile.” (* The name of his fiddle) + </p> + <p> + The father had conjectured properly, for the joy which animated the girl's + countenance could not be misunderstood. + </p> + <p> + “Barny's comin',” she exclaimed, clapping her hands with great glee, “an' + our Frank wid him; they're at the river, and Frank has him on his back, + and Granua Waile undhor his arm! Come out, come out! You'll die for good, + lookin' at them staggerin' acrass. I knew he'd come! I knew it! and be + good to thim that invinted Christmas; it's a brave time, faix!” + </p> + <p> + In a moment the inmates were grouped before the door, all anxious to catch + a glimpse of Barny and Granua Waile. + </p> + <p> + “Faix ay! Sure enough.. Sarra doubt if it! Wethen, I'd never mistrust + Barny!” might be heard in distinct exclamations from each. + </p> + <p> + “Faith he's a Trojan,” said the <i>farithee</i>, an' must get lashins of + the best we have. Come in, childher, an' red the hob for him. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + An' the divil a mouth + Shall be friends wid drouth, + While I have whiskey, ale, or beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but waust a year; + Wid han' in han', + An' can to can, + Then Hi for the whiskey, ale, and beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + Then the high and the low + Shall shake their toe, + When primed wid whiskey, ale, an' beer.' +</pre> + <p> + For all that, the sorra fig I care for either ale or beer, barrin' in + regard of mere drouth; give me the whiskey, Eh, Alley—won't we have + a jorum any how?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin,” replied the wife, “the devil be from me (the crass about us + for namin' him) but you're a greater <i>Brinoge</i> than some of your + childher! I suppose its your capers Frank has in him. Will you behave + yourself, you old slingpoke? Behave, I say, an let me go. Childher, will + you help me to flake this man out o' the place? Look at him, here, + caperin' an' crackin' his fingers afore me, an' pullin' me out to dance!” + </p> + <p> + “Och, och, murdher alive,” exclaimed the good man out of breath, “I seen + the day, any way! An', maybe, could show a step or two yet, if I was well + fixed. You can't forget ould times, Alley? Eh, you thief?” + </p> + <p> + “Musha, have sinse, man alive,” replied the wife, in a tone of placid + gravity, which only betrayed the pleasure she herself felt in his + happiness. “Have sinse, an' the strange man comin' in, an' don't let him + see you in such figaries.” + </p> + <p> + The observation of the good woman produced a loud laugh among them. “Arrah + what are yez laughing at?” she inquired. + </p> + <p> + “Why, mother,” said one of her daughters “how could Barny <i>Dhal</i>, a + blind man, see anybody?” + </p> + <p> + Alley herself laughed at her blunder, but wittily replied, “Faith, + avourneen, maybe he can often see as nately through his ear as you could + do wid your eyes open; sure they say he can hear the grass growin'.” + </p> + <p> + “For that matther,” observed the farithee, joining in the joke, “he can + see as far as any of us—while we're asleep.” + </p> + <p> + The conversation was thus proceeding, when Barney <i>Dhal</i> and young + Frank M'Kenna entered the kitchen. + </p> + <p> + In a moment all hands were extended to welcome Barney: “<i>Millia failte + ghud</i>, Barny!” “<i>Cead millia failte ghud</i>, Barny!” “Oh, Barny, did + you come at last? You're welcome.” “Barny, my Trojan, how is every + cart-load of you?” “How is Granua Waile, Barny?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, holy music, did you never see Barny <i>Dhal</i> afore? Clear + off from about me, or, by the sweets of rosin, I'll play the devil an' + brake things. 'You're welcome, Barny!'—an' 'How are you, Barny?' Why + thin, piper o' Moses, don't I know I'm welcome, an' yit you must be + tellin' me what everybody knows! But sure I have great news for you all!” + </p> + <p> + “What is that, Barny?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but can yez keep a sacret? Can yez, girls?” + </p> + <p> + “Faix can we, Barny, achora.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, so can I—ha, ha, ha! Now, are,yez sarved? Come, let me to the + hob.” + </p> + <p> + “Here, Barny; I'll lead you, Barny.” + </p> + <p> + “No, I <i>have</i> him; come, Barny, I'll lead you: here, achora, this is + the spot—that's it. Why, Barny,” said the arch girl, as she placed + him in the corner, “sorra one o' the hob but knows you: it never stirs—ha, + ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Throth, a colleen, that tongue o' yours will delude some one afore long, + if it hasn't done so already.” + </p> + <p> + “But how is Granua Waile, Barny?” + </p> + <p> + “Poor Granua is it? Faith, times is hard wid her often. 'Granua,' says I + to her 'what do you say, acushla? we're axed to go to two or three places + to-day—what do you say? Do you lead, an' I'll follow: your will is + my pleasure.' 'An' where are we axed to?' says Granua, sinsible enough. + 'Why,' says I, 'to Paddy Lanigan's, to Mike Hartigan's, to Jack Lynch's, + an' at the heel o' the hunt, to Frank M'Kenna's, of the Mountain Bar.' 'By + my song,' says she, 'you may go where you plase; as for me, I'm off to + Frank M'Kenna's, one of the dacentest men in Europe, an' his wife the + same. Divil a toe I'll set a waggin' in any other place this night,' says + she; 'for 'tis there we're both well thrated wid the best the house can + afford. So,' says she, 'in the name of all that's musical, you're welcome + to the poker an' tongs anywhere else; for me, I'm off to Frank's.' An' + faith, sure enough, she took to her pumps; an' it was only comin' over the + hill there, that young Frank an' I overtuck her: divil a lie in it.” + </p> + <p> + In fact, Barney, besides being a fiddler, was a senachie of the first + water; could tell a story, or trace a genealogy as well as any man living, + and draw the long bow in either capacity much better than he could in the + practice of his more legitimate profession. + </p> + <p> + “Well, here she is, Barny, to the fore,” said the aforesaid arch girl, + “an' now give us a tune.” + </p> + <p> + “What!” replied the farithee, “is it wid-out either aitin' or dhrinkin'? + Why, the girsha's beside herself! Alley, aroon, get him the linin' * an' a + sup to tighten his elbow.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Linin'—lining, so eating and drinking are often + humorously termed by the people. +</pre> + <p> + The good woman instantly went to provide refreshments for the musician. + </p> + <p> + “Come, girls,” said Barny, “will yez get me a scythe or a handsaw.” + </p> + <p> + “A scythe or a handsaw! eh, then what to do, Barny?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, to pare my nails, to be sure,” replied Barny, with a loud laugh; + “but stay—come back here—I'll make shift to do wid a pair of + scissors this bout. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'The parent finds his sons, + The tutherer whips them; + The nailer makes his nails, + The fiddler clips them.'” + </pre> + <p> + Wherever Barny came there was mirth, and a disposition to be pleased, so + that his jokes always told. + </p> + <p> + “Musha, the sorra <i>pare</i> you, Barny,” said one of the girls; “but + there's no bein' up to you, good or bad.” + </p> + <p> + “The sorra <i>pair</i> me, is it? faix, Nancy, you'll soon be paired + yourself wid some one, avourneen. Do you know a sartin young man wid a + nose on him runnin' to a point like the pin of a sun-dial, his knees + brakin' the king's pace, strikin' one another ever since he was able to + walk, an' that was about four years afther he could say his Father + Nosther; an' faith, whatever you may think, there's no makin' them + paceable except by puttin' between them! The wrong side of his shin, too, + is foremost; an' though the one-half of his two feet is all heels, he + keeps the same heels for set days an' bonfire nights, an' savinly walks on + his ankles. His leg, too, Nancy, is stuck in the middle of his foot, like + a poker in a pick-axe; an', along wid all—” + </p> + <p> + “Here, Barny, thry your hand at this,” said the good woman, who had not + heard his ludicrous description of her fictitious son-in-law—“<i>eeh + arran agus bee laudher</i>, Barny, <i>ate bread and be strong</i>. I'll + warrant when you begin to play, they'll give you little time to do + anything but scrape away;—taste the dhrink first, anyway, in the + name o' God,”—and she filled him a glass. + </p> + <p> + “Augh, augh! faith you're the moral of a woman. Are you there, Frank + M'Kenna?—here's a sudden disholution to your family! May they be + scattered wid all speed—manin' the girls—to all corners o' the + parish!—ha, ha, ha! Well, that won't vex them, anyhow; an' next, + here's a merry Chris'mas to us, an' many o' them! Whooh! blur-an'-age! + whooh! oh, by gorra!—that's—that's—Frank run afther my + breath—I've lost it—run, you tory: oh, by gor, that's stuff as + sthrong as Sampson, so it is. Arrah, what well do you dhraw that from? + for, faith, 'twould be mighty convanient to live near it in a hard frost.” + </p> + <p> + Barny was now silent for some time, which silence was produced by the + industry he displayed in assailing the substantial refreshments before + him. When he had concluded his repast he once more tasted the liquor; + after which he got Granua Waile, and continued playing their favorite + tunes, and amusing them with anecdotes, both true and false, until the + hour drew nigh when his services were expected by the young men and + maidens who had assembled to dance in the barn. Occasionally, however, + they took a preliminary step in which they were joined by few of their + neighbors. Old Frank himself felt his spirits elevated by contemplating + the happiness of his children and their young associates. + </p> + <p> + “Frank,” said he, to the youngest of his sons, “go down to Owen + Reillaghan's, and tell him an' his family to come up to the dance early in + the evenin'. Owen's a pleasant man,” he added, “and a good neighbor, but a + small thought too strict in his duties. Tell him to come up, Frank, airly, + I say; he'll have time enough to go to the Midnight Mass afther dancin' + the 'Rakes of Ballyshanny,' and 'the Baltihorum jig;' an' maybe he can't + do both in style!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Frank, in a jeering manner, “he carries a handy heel at the + dancin', and a soople tongue at the prayin'; but let him alone for + bringin' the bottom of his glass and his eyebrow acquainted. But if he'd + pray less—” + </p> + <p> + “Go along, a <i>veehonce</i>, (* you profligate) an' bring him up,” + replied the father: “you to talk about prayin'! Them that 'ud catch you at + a prayer ought to be showed for the world to wondher at: a man wid two + heads an him would be a fool to him. Go along, I say, and do what you're + bid.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm goin',” said Frank. “I'm off; but what if he doesn't come? I'll then + have my journey for nothin'.” + </p> + <p> + “An' it's good payment for any journey ever you'll make, barrin' it's to + the gallows,” replied the father, nearly provoked at his reluctance in + obeying him: “won't you have dancin' enough in the coorse o' the night, + for you'll not go to the Midnight Mass, and why don't you be off wid you + at wanst?” + </p> + <p> + Frank shrugged his shoulders two or three times, being loth to leave the + music and dancing; but on seeing his father about to address him in + sharper language, he went out with a frown on his brows, and a + half-smothered imprecation bursting from his lips. + </p> + <p> + He had not proceeded more than a few yards from the door, when he met Rody + Teague, his father's servant, on his way to the kitchen. “Rody,” said he, + “isn't this a purty business? My father wantin' to send me down to Owen + Reillaghan's; when, by the vartue o' my oath, I'd as soon go half way into + hell, as to any place where his son, Mike Reillaghan, 'ud be. How will I + manage, Rody?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” replied Rody, “as to meetin' wid Mike, take my advice and avoid + him. And what is more I'd give up Peggy Gartland for good. Isn't it a mane + thing for you, Frank, to be hangin' afther a girl that's fonder of another + than she is of yourself. By this and by that, I'd no more do it—avvouh! + catch me at it—I'd have spunk in me.” + </p> + <p> + Frank's brow darkened as Rody spoke; instead of instantly replying', he + was silent and appeared to be debating some point in his own mind, on + which he had not come to a determination. + </p> + <p> + “My father didn't hear of the fight between Mike and me?” said he, + interrogatively—“do you think he did, Rody?” + </p> + <p> + “Not to my knowledge,” replied the servant; “if he did, he wouldn't surely + send you down; but talking of the fight, you are known to be a stout, + well-fought boy—no doubt of that—still, I say, you had no + right to provoke Mike as you did, who, it's well known, could bate any two + men in the parish; and so sign, you got yourself dacently trounced, about + a girl that doesn't love a bone in your skin.” + </p> + <p> + “He disgraced me, Rody,” observed Frank—“I can't rise my head; and + you know I was thought, by all the parish, as good a man as him. No, I + wouldn't, this blessed Christmas Eve above us, for all that ever my name + was worth, be disgraced by him as I am. But—hould, man—have + patience!” + </p> + <p> + “Throth and, Frank, that's what you never had,” said Eody; “and as to + bein' disgraced, you disgraced yourself. What right had you to challenge + the boy to fight, and to strike him into the bargain, bekase Peggy + Gartland danced with him, and wouldn't go out wid you? Death alive, sure + that wasn't his fault.” + </p> + <p> + Every word of reproof which proceeded from Rody's lips but strengthened + Frank's rage, and added to his sense of shame; he looked first in the + direction of Reillaghan's house, and immediately towards the little + village in which Peggy Gartland lived. + </p> + <p> + “Rody,” said he, slapping him fiercely on the shoulder, “go in—I've—I've + made up my mind upon what I'll do; go in, Eody, and get your dinner; but + don't be out of the way when I come back.” + </p> + <p> + “And what have you made up your mind to?” inquired Eody. + </p> + <p> + “Why, by the sacred Mother o' Heaven, Rody, to—to—be friends + wid Mike.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, there's sinse and rason in that,” replied Eody; “and if you'd take my + advice you'd give up Peggy Gartland, too.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll see you when I come back, Eody; don't be from about the place.” + </p> + <p> + And as he spoke, a single spring brought him over the stile at which they + held the foregoing conversation. + </p> + <p> + On advancing, he found himself in one of his father's fields, under the + shelter of an elder-hedge. Here he paused, and seemed still somewhat + uncertain as to the direction in which he should proceed. At length he + decided; the way towards Peggy Gartland's was that which he took, and as + he walked rapidly, he soon found himself at the village in which she + lived. + </p> + <p> + It was now a little after twilight; the night was clear the moon being in + her first quarter, and the clouds through which she appeared to struggle, + were light and fleecy, but rather cold-looking, such, in short, as would + seem to promise a sudden fall of snow. Frank had passed the two first + cabins of the village, and was in the act of parrying the attacks of some + yelping cur that assailed him, when he received a slap on the back, + accompanied by a <i>gho manhi Dhea gliud, a Franchas, co wul thu guilh a + nish, a rogora duh</i>?* + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * God save you, Frank! where are you going now, you + black rogue? +</pre> + <p> + “Who's this?” exclaimed Frank: “eh! why, Darby More, you sullin' thief o' + the world, is this you?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, indeed; an' you're goin' down to Peggy's?” said the the other, + pointing significantly towards Peggy Gartland's house. “Well, man, what's + the harm? She may get worse, that is, hopin' still that you'll mend your + manners, a bouchal: but isn't your nose out o' joint there, Frank, + darlin'?” + </p> + <p> + “No sich thing at all, Darby,” replied Frank, gulping down his + indignation, which rose afresh on hearing that the terms on which he stood + with Peggy were so notorious. + </p> + <p> + “Throth but it is,” said Darby, “an' to tell the blessed thruth, I'm not + sarry that it's out o' joint; for when I tould you to lave the case in my + hands, along wid a small thrifle o' silver that didn't signify much to you—whoo! + not at all: you'd rather play it at cards, or dhrink it, or spind it wid + no good. Out o' joint! nrasha, if ever a man's nose was to be pitied, and + yours is: why, didn't Mike Reillaghan put it out o' joint, twist? first in + regard to Peggy, and secondly by the batin' he gave you an it.” + </p> + <p> + “It's well known, Darby,” replied Frank, “that 'twas by a chance blow he + did it; and, you know, a chance blow might kill the devil.” + </p> + <p> + “But there was no danger of Mike's gettin' the chance blow,” observed the + sarcastic vagrant, for such he was. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe it's afore him,” replied his companion: “we'll have another thrial + for it, any how; but where are you goin', Darby? Is it to the dance?” + </p> + <p> + Me! Is it a man “wid two holy ordhers an him?* No, no! I might go up, may + be, as far as your father's, merely to see the family, only for the night + that's in it; but I'm goin' to another frind's place to spind my + Chris'mas, an' over an' above, I must go to the Midnight Mass. Frank, + change your coorses, an' mend your life, an' don't be the talk o' the + parish. Remimber me to the family, an' say I'll see them soon.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The religious orders, as they are termed, most + commonly entered into by the peasantry, are those of + the Scapular and St. Francis. The order of Jesus—or + that of the Jesuits, is only entered into by the clergy + and the higher lay classes. +</pre> + <p> + “How long will you stop in the neighborhood?” inquired Frank. + </p> + <p> + “Arrah why, acushla?” replied the mendicant, softening his language. + </p> + <p> + “I might be wantin to see you some o' these days,” said the other: + “indeed, it's not unlikely, Darby; so don't go, any how, widout seein' + me.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Darby, “had you taken a fool's advice—but it can't be + helped now—the harm's done, I doubt; how-an'-ever, for the matther + o' that, may be I have as good as Peggy in my eye for you; by the same + token, as the night's could, warm your tooth, avick; there's waker wather + nor this in Lough Mecall. Sorra sup of it over I keep for my own use at + all, barrin' when I take a touch o' configuration in my bowels, or, may + be, when I'm too long at my prayers; for, God help me, sure I'm but + sthrivin', wid the help o' one thing an' another, to work out my salvation + as well as I can! Your health, any how, an' a merry Chris'mas to you!—not + forgettin' myself,” he added, putting to his lips a large cow's horn, + which he kept slung beneath his arm, like the bugle of a coach-guard, only + that this was generally concealed by an outside coat, no two inches of + which were of the same materials of color. Having taken a tolerably large + draught from this, which, by the “way, held near two quarts, he handed it + with a smack and a shrug to Frank, who immediately gave it a wipe with the + skirt of his coat, and pledged his companion. + </p> + <p> + “I'll be wantin',” observed Frank, “to see you in the hollydays—faith, + that stuff's to be christened yet, Darby—so don't go till we have a + dish o' discoorse about somethin' I'll mintion to you. As for Peggy + Gartland, I'm done wid her; she may marry ould Nick for me.” + </p> + <p> + “Or you for ould Nick,” said the cynic, “which would be nearly the same + thing: but go an, avick, an' never heed me; sure I must have my spake—doesn't + every body know Darby More?” + </p> + <p> + “I've nothin' else to say now,” added Frank, “and you have my authority to + spread it as far as you plase. I'm done wid her: so good-night, an' good + <i>cuttin'</i> (* May what's in it never fail) to your horn, Darby!—You + damn ould villian!” he subjoined in a low voice, when Darby had got out of + his hearing: “surely it's not in yourself, but in the blessed words and + things you have about you, that there is any good.” + </p> + <p> + “Musha, good-night, Frank alanna,” replied the other;—“an' the divil + sweep you, for a skamin' vagabone, that's a curse to the country, and has + kep me out o' more weddins than any one I ever met wid, by your roguery in + puttin' evil between frinds an' neighbors, jist whin they'd be ready for + the priest to say the words over them! Good won't come of you, you + profligate.” + </p> + <p> + The last words were scarcely uttered by the sturdy mendicant, when he + turned round to observe whether or not Frank would stop at Larry + Gartland's, the father of the girl to whom he had hitherto unsuccessfully + avowed his attachment. + </p> + <p> + “I'd depind an him,” said he, in a soliloquy, “as soon as I'd depind upon + ice of an hour's growth: an', whether or not, sure as I'm an my way to + Owen Reillaghan's, the father of the dacent boy that he's strivin' to + outdo, mayn't I as well watch his motions, any way?” + </p> + <p> + He accordingly proceeded along the shadowy side of the street, in order to + avoid Frank's eye, should he chance to look back, and quietly dodged on + until he fairly saw him enter the house. + </p> + <p> + Having satisfied himself that the object of Frank's visit to the village + was in some shape connected with Peggy Gartland, the mendicant immediately + retraced his steps, and at a pace more rapid than usual, strided on to + Owen Reillaghan's, whither he arrived just in time to secure an excellent + Christmas-eve dinner. + </p> + <p> + In Ireland, that description of mendicants which differ so strikingly from + the common crowd of beggars as to constitute a distinct species, + comprehends within itself as anomalous an admixture of fun and devotion, + external rigor and private licentiousness, love of superstition and of + good whiskey, as might naturally be supposed, without any great sketch of + credulity, to belong to men thrown among a people in whom so many extremes + of character and morals meet. The known beggar, who goes his own rounds, + and has his own walk, always adapts his character to that of his + benefactor, whose whims and peculiarities of temper he studies with + industry, and generally with success. By this means, joined to a dexterity + in tracing out the private history of families and individuals, he is + enabled to humor the capprices, to manage the eccentricities, and to touch + with a masterly hand the prejudices, and particular opinions, of his + patrons; and this he contrives to do with great address and tact. Such was + the character of Darby More, whose person, naturally large, was increased + to an enormous size by the number of coats, blankets, and bags, with which + he was encumbered. A large belt, buckled round his body, contained within + its girth much more of money, meal, and whiskey, than ever met the eye; + his hat was exceedingly low in the crown; his legs were cast in at least + three pairs of stockings; and in his hand he carried a long cant, spiked + at the lower end, with which he slung himself over small rivers and dykes, + and kept dogs at bay. He was a devotee, too, notwithstanding the whiskey + horn under his arm; attended wakes, christenings, and weddings: rubbed for + the rose (* a scrofulous swelling) and king's evil, (for the varlet + insisted that he was a seventh son); cured toothaches, colics, and + headaches, by charms; but made most money by a knack which he possessed of + tatooing into the naked breast the representation of Christ upon the + cross. This was a secret of considerable value, for many of the + superstitious people believed that by having this stained in upon them, + they would escape unnatural deaths, and be almost sure of heaven. + </p> + <p> + When Darby approached Reillaghan's house, he was considering the propriety + of disclosing to his son the fact of having left his rival with Peggy + Gartland. He ultimately determined that it would be proper to do so; for + he was shrewd enough to suspect that the wish Frank had expressed of + seeing him before he left the country, was but a ruse to purchase his + silence touching his appearance in the village. In this, however, he was + mistaken. + </p> + <p> + “God save the house!” exclaimed Darby, on entering—“God save the + house, an' all that's in it! God save it to the North!” and he formed the + sign of the cross in every direction to which he turned: “God save it to + the South! + to the Aiste! + and to the Waiste! + Save it upwards! + and + save it downwards! + Save it backwards! + and save it forwards! + Save it + right! + and save it left! + Save it by night! + save it by day! + Save it + here! + save it there! + Save it this way! + an' save it that way! + Save + it atin'! + + + an' save it drinkin'! + + + + + + + + <i>Oxis Doxis + Glorioxis</i>—Amin. An' now that I've blessed the place in the name + of the nine Patriarchs, how are yez all, man, woman, an' child? An' a + merry Christmas to yez, says Darby More!” + </p> + <p> + Darby, in the usual spirit of Irish hospitality, received a sincere + welcome, was placed up near the fire, a plate filled with the best food on + the table laid before him, and requested to want nothing for the asking. + </p> + <p> + “Why, Darby,” said Reillaghan, “we expected you long ago: why didn't you + come sooner?” + </p> + <p> + “The Lord's will be done! for ev'ry man has his throubles,” replied Darby, + stuffing himself in the corner like an Epicure; “an' why should a sinner + like me, or the likes of me, be without thim? 'Twas a dhrame I had last + night that kep me. They say, indeed, that dhrames go by contriaries, but + not always, to my own knowledge.” + </p> + <p> + “An' what was the dhrame about, Darby?” inquired Reillaghan's wife. + </p> + <p> + “Why, ma'am, about some that I see on this hearth, well, an' in good + health; may they long live to be so! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis—Amin!” + + + + + </p> + <p> + “Blessed Virgin! Darby, sure it would be nothin' bad that's to happen? + Would it, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Keep yourself aisy on that head. I have widin my own mind the power of + makin' it come out for good—I know the prayer for it. Oxis Doxis!” + + + + </p> + <p> + “God be praised for that, Darby; sure it would be a terrible business, all + out, if any thing was to happen. Here's Mike that was born on Whissle * + Monday, of all days in the year, an' you know, they say that any child + born on that day is to die an unnatural death. We named Mike after St. + Michael that he might purtect him.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The people believe the superstition to be as is + stated above. Any child born on Whitsunday, or the day + after, is supposed to be doomed to die an unnatural + death. The consequence is, that the child is named + after and dedicated to some particular saint, in the + hope that his influence may obviate his evil doom. +</pre> + <p> + “Make yourself aisy, I say; don't I tell you I have the prayer to keep it + back—hach! hach!—why, there's a bit stuck in my throath, some + way! Wurrah dheelish, what's this! Maybe, you could give me a sup o' + dhrink—wather, or anything to moisten the morsel I'm atin? Wurrah, + ma'am dear, make haste, it's goin' agin' the breath wid me!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the sorra taste o' wather, Darby,” said Owen; “sure this is + Christmas-eve, you know: so you see, Darby, for ould acquaintance sake, + an' that you may put up an odd prayer now an' thin for us, jist be thryin' + this.” + </p> + <p> + Darby honored the gift by immediate acceptance. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Owen Reillaghan,” said he, “you make me take more o' this stuff nor + any man I know; and particularly by rason that bein' given, wid a + blessin', to the ranns, an' prayers, an' holy charms, I don't think it so + good; barrin', indeed, as Father Donnellan towld me, when the wind, by + long fastin', gets into my stomach, as was the case today, I'm often + throubled, God help me, wid a configuration in the—hugh! ugh—an' + thin it's good for me—a little of it.” + </p> + <p> + “This would make a brave powdher-horn, Darby Moore,” observed one of + Reilla-ghan's sons, “if it wasn't so big. What do you keep in it, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, <i>avillish</i>, (* my sweet) nothin' indeed but a sup o' Father + Donnellan's holy water, that they say by all accounts it costs him great + trouble to make, by rason that he must fast a long time, and pray by the + day, afore he gets himself holy enough to consecrate it.” + </p> + <p> + “It smells like whiskey, Darby,” said the boy, without any intention, + however, of offending him. “It smells very like poteen.” + </p> + <p> + “Hould yer tongue, Risthard,” said the elder Reillaghan; “what 'ud make + the honest man have whiskey in it? Didn't he tell you what's in it?” + </p> + <p> + “The gorsoon's right enough,” replied Darby. “I got the horn from Barny + Dalton a couple o' days agone; 'twas whiskey he had in it, an' it smells + of it sure enough, an' will, indeed, for some time longer. Och! och! the + heavens be praised, I've made a good dinner! May they never know want that + gave it to me! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis—Amin!” + + + + </p> + <p> + “Darby, thry this again,” said Reillaghan, offering him another bumper. + </p> + <p> + “Troth an' I will, thin, for I find myself a great dale the betther of the + one I tuck. Well, here's health an' happiness to us, an' may we all meet + in heaven! Risthard, hand me that horn till I be goin' out to the barn, in + ordher to do somethin' for my sowl. The holy wather's a good thing to have + about one.” + </p> + <p> + “But the dhrame, Darby?” inquired Mrs. Reillaghan. “Won't you tell it to + us?” + </p> + <p> + “Let Mike follow me to the barn,” he replied, “an' I'll tell him as much + of it as he ought to hear. An' now let all of yez prepare for the Midnight + Mass; go there wid proper intuitions, an' not to be coortin' or dhrinkin' + by the way. We're all sinners, any way, an' oughtn't to neglect our sowls. + Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!” + </p> + <p> + He immediately strided with the horn under his arm, towards the barn, + where he knelt, and began his orisons in a tone sufficiently loud to be + heard in the kitchen. When he was gone, Mrs. Reillaghan, who, with the + curiosity natural to her sex, and the superstition peculiar to her station + in life, felt anxious to hear Darby's dream, urged Mike to follow him + forthwith, that he might prevail on him to detail it at full length. + </p> + <p> + Darby, who knew not exactly what the dream ought to be, replied to Mike's + inquiries vaguely. + </p> + <p> + “Mike,” said he, “until the proper time comes, I can't tell it; but + listen; take my advice, an' slip down to Peggy Gartland's by and by. I + have strong suspicions, if my dhrame is thrue, that Frank M'Kenna has a + design upon her. People may be abroad this night widout bein' noticed, by + rason o' the Midnight Mass; Frank has, friends in Kilnaheery, down behind + the moors; an' the divil might tempt him to bring her there. Keep your eye + an him, or rather an Peggy. If my dhrame's true, he was there this night.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought I gave him enough on her account,” said. Mike. “The poor girl + hasn't a day's pace in regard of him; but, plase goodness, I'll soon put + an end to it, for I'll marry her durin' the Hollydays.” + </p> + <p> + “Go, avick, an' let me finish my Pudheran Partha: I have to get through it + before the Midnight Mass comes. Slip down, and find out what he was doin'; + and when you come back, let me know.” + </p> + <p> + Mike, perfectly aware of young M'Kenna's character, immediately went + towards Lisrum, for so the village where Peggy Gartland lived was called. + He felt the danger to be apprehended from the interference of his rival + the more acutely, inasmuch as he was not ignorant of the feuds and + quarrels which the former had frequently produced between friends and + neighbors, by the subtle poison of his falsehoods, which were both wanton + and malicious. He therefore advanced at an unusually brisk pace, and had + nearly reached the village, when he perceived in the distance a person + resembling Frank approaching him at a pace nearly as rapid as his own. + </p> + <p> + “If it's Frank M'Kenna,” thought he, “he must pass me, for this is his + straight line home.” + </p> + <p> + It appeared, however, that he had been mistaken; for he whom he had + supposed to be the object of his enmity, crossed the field by a different + path, and seemed to be utterly ignorant of the person whom he was about to + meet—so far, at least, as a quick, free, unembarrassed step could + intimate his unacquaintance with him. + </p> + <p> + The fact, however, was, that Reillaghan, had the person whom he met + approached him more nearly, would have found his first suspicions correct. + Frank was then on his return from Gartland's, and no sooner perceived + Reillaghan, whom he immediately recognized by his great height, than he + took another path in order to avoid him. The enmity between these rivals + was, deep and implacable; aggravated on the one hand by a sense of + unmerited injury, and on the other by personal defeat and the bitterest + jealousy. For this reason neither of them wished to meet, particularly + Frank M'Kenna, who not only hated, but feared his enemy. + </p> + <p> + Having succeeded in avoiding Reillaghan, the latter soon reached home; but + here he found the door closed, and the family, without a single exception, + in the barn, which was now nearly crowded with the youngsters of both + sexes from the surrounding villages. + </p> + <p> + Frank's arrival among them gave a fresh impulse to their mirth and + enjoyment. His manners were highly agreeable, and his spirits buoyant + almost to levity. Notwithstanding the badness of his character in the + opinion of the sober, steady, and respectable inhabitants of the parish, + yet he was a favorite with the desolate and thoughtless, and with many who + had not an opportunity of seeing him except in his most favorable aspect. + Whether he entertained on this occasion any latent design that might have + induced him to assume a frankness of manner, and an appearance of + good-humor, which he did not feel, it is difficult to determine. Be this + as it may, he made himself generally agreeable, saw that every one was + comfortable, suggested an improvement in the arrangement of the seats, + broke several jests on Bariry and Granua Waile—which, however, were + returned with interest—and, in fact, acquitted himself so + creditably, that his father whispered with a sigh to his mother—“Alley, + achora, wouldn't we be the happy family if that misfortunate boy of ours + was to be always the thing he appears to be? God help him! the gommach, if + he had sinse, and the fear o' God before him, he'd not be sich a pace o' + desate to sthrangers, and such a divil's limb wid ourselves: but he's + young, an' may see his evil coorses in time, wid the help o' God.” + </p> + <p> + “Musha, may God grant it!” exclaimed his mother: “a fine slip he is, if + his heart 'ud only turn to the right thoughts. One can't help feelin' + pride out o' him, when they see him actin' wid any kind o' rason.” + </p> + <p> + The Irish dance, like every other assembly composed of Irishmen and + Irishwomen, presents the spectators with those traits which enter into our + conception of rollicking fun and broad humor. The very arrangements are + laughable; and when joined to the eccentric strains of some blind fiddler + like Barny Dhal, to the grotesque and caricaturish faces of the men, and + the modest, but evidently arch and laughter-loving countenances of the + females, they cannot fail to impress an observing mind with the obvious + truth, that a nation of people so thoughtless and easily directed from the + serious and useful pursuits of life to such scenes, can seldom be + industrious and wealthy, nor, despite their mirth and humor, a happy + people. + </p> + <p> + The barn in which they danced on this occasion was a large one. Around the + walls were placed as many seats as could be spared from the neighbors' + houses; these were eked out by sacks of corn laid length-wise, logs of + round timber, old creels, iron pots with their bottoms turned up, and some + of them in their usual position. On these were the youngsters seated, many + of the “boys” with their sweethearts on their knees, the arms of the fair + ones lovingly around their necks; and, on the contrary many of the young + women with their bachelors on their laps, their own necks also gallantly + encircled by the arms of their admirers. Up in a corner sat Barny, + surrounded by the seniors of the village, sawing the fiddle with + indefatigable vigor, and leading the conversation with equal spirit. + Indeed, his laugh was the loudest, and his joke the best; whilst, ever and + anon, his music became perfectly furious—that is to say, when he + rasped the fiddle with a desperate effort “to overtake the dancers,” from + whom, in the heat of the conversation, he had unwittingly lagged behind. + </p> + <p> + Dancing in Ireland, like everything else connected with the amusement of + the people, is frequently productive of bloodshed. It is not unusual for + crack dancers from opposite parishes, or from distant parts of the same + parish, to meet and dance against each other for victory. But as the + judges in those cases consist of the respective friends or factions of the + champions, their mode of decision may readily be conjectured. Many a + battle is fought in consequence of such challenges, the result usually + being that not he who has the lightest heel, but the hardest head, + generally comes off the conqueror. + </p> + <p> + While the usual variety of Irish dances—the reel, jig, fling, + three-part-reel, four-part-reel, rowly-powly, country-dance, cotillion, or + cut-along (as the peasantry call it), and minuet, vulgarly minion, and + minionet—were going forward in due rotation, our readers may be + assured that those who were seated around the walls did not permit the + time to pass without improving it. Many an attachment is formed at such + amusements, and many a bitter jealousy is excited: the prude and coquette, + the fop and rustic Lothario, stand out here as prominently to the eye of + him who is acquainted with human nature, as they do in similar assemblies + among the great: perhaps more so, as there is less art, and a more limited + knowledge of intrigue, to conceal their natural character. + </p> + <p> + The dance in Ireland usually commences with those who sit next the door, + from whence it goes round with the sun. In this manner it circulates two + or three times, after which the order is generally departed from, and they + dance according as they can. This neglect of the established rule is also + a fertile source of discord; for when two persons rise at the same time, + if there be not room for both, the right of dancing first is often decided + by blows. + </p> + <p> + At the dance we are describing, however, there was no dissension; every + heart appeared to be not only elated with mirth, but also free from + resentment and jealousy. The din produced by the thumping of vigorous feet + upon the floor, the noise of the fiddle, the chat between Barny and the + little sober knot about him, together with the brisk murmur of the general + conversation, and the expression of delight which sat on every + countenance, had something in them elevating to the spirits. + </p> + <p> + Barny, who knew their voices, and even the mode of dancing peculiar to + almost every one in the barn, had some joke for each. When a young man + brings out his sweetheart—which he frequently does in a manner + irresistibly ludicrous, sometimes giving a spring from the earth, his + caubeen set with a knowing air on one side of his head, advancing at a + trot on tiptoe, catching her by the ear, leading her out to her position, + which is “to face the fiddler,” then ending by a snap of the fingers, and + another spring, in which he brings his heel backwards in contact with his + ham;—we say, when a young man brings out his sweetheart, and places + her facing the fiddler, he asks her what will she dance; to which, if she + as no favorite tune, she uniformly replies—“Your will is my + pleasure.” This usually made Barny groan aloud. + </p> + <p> + “What ails you, Barny?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, thin, murdher alive, how little thruth's in this world! Your will's + my pleassure! <i>Baithirshin!</i> but, sowl, if things goes an, it won't + be long so!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Barny,” the young man would exclaim, “is the ravin' fit comin' over + you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, in troth, Jim; <i>but it's thinkin' of home I am</i>. Howandiver, do + you go an; but, <i>naboklish!</i> what'll ye have?” + </p> + <p> + “'Jig Polthouge,' Barny: but on your wrist ma bouchal, or Katty will lave + us both ut o' sight in no time. Whoo! success! clear the coorse. Well + done, Barny! That's the go.” + </p> + <p> + When the youngsters had danced for some time, the fathers and mothers of + the village were called upon “to step out.” This was generally the most + amusing scene in the dance. No excuse is ever taken on such occasions, for + when they refuse, about a dozen young fellows place them, will they will + they, upright upon the floor, from whence neither themselves nor their + wives are permitted to move until they dance. No sooner do they commence, + than, they are mischievously pitted against each other by two sham + parties, one encouraging the wife, the other cheering on the good man; + whilst the fiddler, falling in with the frolic, plays in his most furious + style. The simplicity of character, and, perhaps, the lurking vanity of + those who are the butts of the mirth on this occasion, frequently heighten + the jest. + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, Paddy, is it strivin' to outdo me you are? Faiks, avourneen, + you never seen that day, any way,” the old woman would exclaim, exerting + all her vigor. + </p> + <p> + “Didn't I? Sowl, I'll sober you before I lave the flure, for all that,” + her husband would reply. + </p> + <p> + “An' do you forget,” she would rejoin, “that the M'Carthy dhrop is in me; + ay, an' it's to the good still.” + </p> + <p> + And the old dame would accompany the boast with a fresh attempt at + agility; to which Paddy would respond by “cutting the buckle,” and + snapping his fingers, whilst fifty voices, amidst roars of laughter, were + loud in encouraging each. + </p> + <p> + “Handle your feet, Kitty, darlin'—the mettle's lavin' him!” + </p> + <p> + “Off wid the brogues, Paddy, or she'll do you. That's it; kick off the + other, an' don't spare the flure.” + </p> + <p> + “A thousand guineas on Katty! M'Carthy agin Gallagher for ever!—whirroo!” + </p> + <p> + “Blur alive the flure's not benefittin by you, Paddy. Lay on it, man!—That's + it!—Bravo!—Whish!—Our side agin Europe!” + </p> + <p> + “Success, Paddy! Why you could dance the Dusty Miller upon a flure paved + wid drawn razures, you're so soople.” + </p> + <p> + “Katty for ever! The blood's in you, Katty; you'll win the day, a <i>ban + choir!</i> (* decent woman). More power to you!” + </p> + <p> + “I'll hould a quart on Paddy. Heel an' toe, Paddy, you sinner!” + </p> + <p> + “Right an' left, Katty; hould an', his breath's goin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Right an' wrong, Paddy, you spalpeen. The whiskey's an you, man alive: do + it decently, an' don't let me lose the wager.” + </p> + <p> + In this manner would they incite some old man, and, perhaps, his older + wife, to prolonged exertion, and keep them bobbing and jigging about, + amidst roars of laughter, until the worthy couple could dance no longer. + </p> + <p> + During stated periods of the night, those who took the most prominent part + in the dance, got a plate and hat, with which they went round the + youngsters, to make collections for the fiddler. Barny reserved his best + and most sarcastic jokes for these occasions; for so correct was his ear, + that he felt little difficulty in detecting those whose contributions to + him were such as he did not relish. + </p> + <p> + The aptitude of the Irish for enjoying humorous images was well displayed + by one or two circumstances which occurred on this night. A few of both + sexes, who had come rather late, could get no other seats than the metal + pots to which we have alluded. The young women were dressed in white, and + their companions, who were also their admirers, exhibited, in proud + display, each a bran-new suit, consisting of broadcloth coat, yellow-buff + vest, and corduroy small-clothes, with a bunch of broad silk ribbons + standing out at each knee. They were the sons and daughters of respectable + farmers, but as all distinctions here entirely ceased, they were fain to + rest contented with such seats as they could get, which on this occasion + consisted of the pots aforesaid. No sooner, however, had they risen to + dance than the house was convulsed with laughter, heightened by the sturdy + vigor with which, unconscious of their appearance, they continued to + dance. That part of the white female dresses which had come in contact + with the pots, exhibited a circle like the full moon, and was black as + pitch. Nor were their partners more lucky: those who sat on the mouths of + the pots had the back part of their dresses streaked with dark circles, + equally ludicrous. The mad mirth with which they danced, in spite of their + grotesque appearance, was irresistible. This, and other incidents quite as + pleasant—such as the case of a wag who purposely sank himself into + one of the pots, until it stuck to him through half the dance—increased + the laughter, and disposed them to peace and cordiality. + </p> + <p> + No man took a more active part in these frolics than young Frank M'Kenna. + It is true, a keen eye might have noticed under his gayety something of a + moody and dissatisfied air. As he moved about from time to time, he + whispered something to above a dozen persons, who were well known in the + country as his intimate companions, young fellows whose disposition and + character were notoriously bad. When he communicated the whisper, a nod of + assent was given by his confidants, after which it might be remarked that + they moved round to the door with a caution that betrayed a fear of + observation, and quietly slunk out of the barn one by one, though Frank + himself did not immediately follow them. In about a quarter of an hour + afterwards, Rody came in, gave him a signal and sat down. Frank then + followed his companions, and after a few minutes Rody also disappeared. + This was about ten o'clock, and the dance was proceeding with great gayety + and animation. + </p> + <p> + Frank's dread of openly offending his parents prevented him from + assembling his associates in the dwelling-house; the only convenient place + of rendezvous, therefore, of which they could avail themselves, was the + stable. Here they met, and Frank, after uncorking a bottle of poteen, + addressed them to the following effect: + </p> + <p> + “Boys, there's great excuse for me, in regard of my fight wid Mike + Reillaghan; that you'll all allow. Come, boys, your healths! I can tell + yez you'll find this good, the divil a doubt of it; be the same token, + that I stole it from my father's Christmas dhrink; but no matther for that—I + hope we'll never do worse. So, as I was sayin', you must bear me out as + well as you can, when I'm brought before the Dilegates to-morrow, for + challengin' and strikin' a brother.* But, I think, you'll stand by me, + boys?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Those connected with illegal combinations are sworn + to have no private or personal quarrels, nor to strike + nor provoke each other to fight. He and Mike were + members of such societies. +</pre> + <p> + “By the tarn-o'-war, Frank, myself will fight to the knees for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, you may depend on us, Frank, or we're not to the fore.” + </p> + <p> + “I know it, boys; and now for a piece of fun for this night. You see—come, + Lanty, tare-an'-ounkers, drink, man alive—you see, wid regard to + Peggy Gartland—eh? what the hell! is that a cough?” + </p> + <p> + “One o' the horses, man—go an.” + </p> + <p> + “Rody, did Darby More go into the barn before you came out of it?” + </p> + <p> + “Darby More? not he. If he did, I'd a seen him surely.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, I'd kiss the book I seen him goin' towards the barn, as I was + comin' into the stable. Sowl, he's a made boy, that; an' if I don't + mistake, he's in Mike Reillaghan's intherest. You know divil a secret can + escape him.” + </p> + <p> + “Hut! the prayin' ould crathur was on his way to the Midnight Mass; he + thravels slow, and, of coorse, has to set out early; besides, you know, he + has Carols, and bades, and the likes, to sell at the chapel.” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue, for you, Rody; why, I thought he might take it into his head to + watch my motions, in regard that, as I said, I think him in Mike's + intherest.” + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense, man, what the dickens 'ud bring him into the stable loft? Why, + you're beside yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “Be Gor, I bleeve so, but no matther. Boys, I want yez to stand to me + to-night: I'm given to know for a sartinty that Mike and Peggy will be + buckled to durin' the Hollydays. Now, I wish to get the girl myself; for + if I don't get her, may I be ground to atoms if he will.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but how will you manage? for she's fond of him.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I'll tell you that. I was over there this evenin', and I understand + that all the family is goin' to the Midnight Mass, barrin' herself. You + see, while they are all gone to the 'mallet-office,' * we'll slip down wid + a thrifle o' soot on our mugs, and walk down wid her to Kilnaheery, beyant + the mountains, to an uncle o' mine; an' affcher that, let any man marry + her who chooses to run the risk. Be the contints o' the book, Atty, if you + don't dhrink I'll knock your head agin the wall, you gommoch!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Mass, humorously so called, from the fact of those + who attend it beating their breasts during their + devotions. +</pre> + <p> + “Why, thin, by all that's beautiful, it's a good spree; and we'll stick to + you like pitch.” + </p> + <p> + “Be the vartue o' my oath, you don't desarve to be in it, or you'd dhrink + dacent. Why, here's another bottle, an' maybe there's more where that was. + Well, let us finish what we have, or be the five crasses, I'll give up the + whole business.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, here's success to us, any way; an' high hangin' to them that + 'ud desart you in your skame this blessed an' holy night that's in it!” + </p> + <p> + This was re-echoed by his friends, who pledged themselves by the most + solemn oaths not to abandon him in the perpetration of the outrage which + they had concerted. The other bottle was immediately opened, and while it + lasted, the details of the plan were explained at full length. This over, + they entered the barn one by one as before, except Frank and Rody, who as + they were determined to steal another bottle from the father's stock, did + not appear among the dancers until this was accomplished. + </p> + <p> + The re-appearance of these rollicking and reckless young fellows in the + dance, was hailed by all present; for their outrageous mirth was in + character with the genius of the place. The dance went on with spirit; + brag dancers were called upon to exhibit in hornpipes; and for this + purpose a table was bought in from Frank's kitchen on which they performed + in succession, each dancer applauded by his respective party as the best + in the barn. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime the night had advanced; the hour might be about half-past + ten o'clock; all were in the zenith of enjoyment, when old Frank M'Kenna + addressed them as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “Neighbors, the dickens o' one o' me would like to break up the sport—an', + in throth, harmless and dacent sport it is; but you all know that this is + Christmas night, and that it's our duty to attind the Midnight Mass. + Anybody that likes to hear it may go, for it's near time to be home and + prepare for it; but the sorra one o' me wants to take any of yez from your + sport, if you prefer it; all I say is, that I must lave yez; so God be wid + yez till we meet agin!” + </p> + <p> + This short speech produced a general bustle in the barn; many of the + elderly neighbors left it, and several of the young persons also. It was + Christmas Eve, and the Midnight Mass had from time immemorial so strong a + hold upon their prejudices and affections, that the temptation must indeed + have been great which would have prevented them from attending it. When + old Frank went out, about one-third of those who were present left the + dance along with them; and as the hour for mass was approaching, they lost + no time in preparing for it. + </p> + <p> + The Midnight Mass is, no doubt, a phrase familiar to our Irish readers; + but we doubt whether those in the sister kingdoms, who may honor our book + with a perusal, would, without a more particular description, clearly + understand it. + </p> + <p> + This ceremony-was performed as a commemoration not only of the night, but + of the hour in which Christ was born. To connect it either with + edification, or the abuse of religion, would be invidious; so we overlook + that, and describe it as it existed within our own memory, remarking, by + the way, that though now generally discontinued, it is in some parts of + Ireland still observed, or has been till within in a few years ago. + </p> + <p> + The parish in which the scene of this story is laid was large, + consequently the attendance of the people was proportionably great. On + Christmas day a Roman Catholic priest has, or is said to have, the + privilege of saying three masses, though on every other day in the year he + can celebrate but two. Each priest, then, said one at midnight, and two on + the following day. + </p> + <p> + Accordingly, about twenty or thirty years ago, the performance of the + Midnight Mass was looked upon as an ordinance highly important and + interesting. The preparations for it were general and fervent; so much so, + that not a Roman Catholic family slept till they heard it. It is true it + only occurred once a year; but had any person who saw it once, been called + upon to describe it, he would say that religion could scarcely present a + scene so wild and striking. + </p> + <p> + The night in question was very dark, for the moon had long disappeared, + and as the inhabitants of the whole parish were to meet in one spot, it + may be supposed that the difficulty was very great, of traversing, in the + darkness of midnight, the space between their respective residences, and + the place appointed by the priest for the celebration of mass. The + difficulty, they contrived to surmount. From about eleven at night till + twelve or one o'clock, the parish presented a scene singularly + picturesque, and, to a person unacquainted with its causes, altogether + mysterious. Over the surface of the surrounding country were scattered + myriads of blazing torches, all converging to one point; whilst at a + distance, in the central part of the parish, which lay in a valley, might + be seen a broad focus of red light, quite stationary, with which one or + more of the torches that moved across the fields mingled every moment. + These torches were of bog-fir, dried and split for the occasion; all + persons were accordingly furnished with them, and by their blaze contrived + to make way across the country with comparative ease. This Mass having + been especially associated with festivity and enjoyment, was always + attended by such excessive numbers, that the ceremony was in most parishes + celebrated in the open air, if the weather were at all favorable. + Altogether, as we have said, the appearance of the country at this dead + hour of the night, was wild and impressive. Being Christmas every heart + was up, and every pocket replenished with money, if it could at all be + procured. This general elevation of spirits was nowhere more remarkable + than in contemplating the thousands of both sexes, old, young, each + furnished, as before said, with a blazing flambeau of bog-fir, all + streaming down the mountain sides, along the roads, or across the fields, + and settling at last into one broad sheet of fire. Many a loud laugh might + then be heard ringing the night echo into reverberation; mirthful was the + gabble in hard guttural Irish; and now and then a song from some one whose + potations had been, rather copious, would rise on the night-breeze, to + which a chorus was subjoined by a dozen voices from the neighboring + groups. + </p> + <p> + On passing the shebeen and public-houses, I the din of mingled voices that + issued from them was highly amusing, made up, as it was, of songs, loud + talk, rioting and laughter, with an occasional sound of weeping from some + one who had become penitent in big drink. In the larger public-houses—for + in Ireland there usually are one or two of these in the immediate vicinity + of each chapel, family parties were assembled, who set in to carouse both + before and after mass. Those however, who had any love affair on hands + generally selected the shebeen house, as being private, and less + calculated to expose them to general observation. As a matter of course, + these jovial orgies frequently produced such disastrous consequences, both + to human life and female reputation, that the intrigues between the sexes, + the quarrels, and violent deaths resulting from them, ultimately + occasioned the discontinuance of a ceremony which was only productive of + evil. To this day, it is an opinion among the peasantry in many parts of + Ireland, that there is something unfortunate connected with all drinking + bouts held upon Christmas Eve. Such a prejudice naturally arises from a + recollection of the calamities which so frequently befell many individuals + while Midnight Masses were in the habit of being generally celebrated, + although it is not attributed to their existence. + </p> + <p> + None of Frank M'Kenna's family attended mass but himself and his wife. His + children having been bound by all the rules of courtesy to do the honors + of the dance, could not absent themselves from it; nor, indeed, were they + disposed to do so. Frank, however, and his “good woman,” carried their + torches, and joined the crowds which flocked to this scene of fun and + devotion. + </p> + <p> + When they had arrived at the cross-roads beside which the chapel was + situated, the first object that presented itself so prominently as to + attract observation was Darby More, dressed out in all his paraphernalia + of blanket and horn, in addition to which he held in his hand an immense + torch, formed into the figure of a cross. He was seated upon a stone, + surrounded by a ring of old men and women, to whom he sang and sold a + variety of Christmas Carols, many of them rare curiosities in their way, + inasmuch as they were his own composition. A littlee beyond them stood + Mike Keillaghan and Peggy Gartland, towards both of whom he cast from time + to time a glance of latent humor and triumph. He did not simply confine + himself to singing his carols, but, during the pauses of the melody, + addressed the wondering and attentive crowd as follows:— + </p> + <p> + “Good Christians—This is the day—howandiver, it's night now, + Glory be to God—that the angel Lucifer appeared to Shud'orth, + Meeshach, an' To-bed-we-go, in the village of Constantinople, near + Jerooslem. The heavens be praised for it, 'twas a blessed an' holy night, + an' remains so from that day to this—Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin! + Well, the sarra one of him but appeared to thim at the hour o' midnight, + but they were asleep at the time, you see, and didn't persave him go—wid + that he pulled out a horn like mine—an', by the same token, it's + lucky to wear horns about one from that day to this—an' he put it to + his lips, an' tuck a good dacent—I mane, gave a good dacent blast + that soon roused them. 'Are yez asleep?' says he, when they awoke: 'why + then, bud-an'-age!' says he, 'isn't it a burnin' shame for able stout + fellows like yez to be asleep at the hour o' midnight of all hours o' the + night. Tare-an'-age!' says he, 'get up wid yez, you dirty spalpeens! + There's St. Pathrick in Jerooslem beyant; the Pope's signin' his mittimus + to Ireland, to bless it in regard that neither corn, nor barley, nor + phaties will grow on the land in consequence of a set of varmints called + Black-dugs that ates it up; an' there's not a glass o' whiskey to be had + in Ireland for love or money,' says Lucifer. 'Get up wid yez,' says he, + 'an' go in an' get his blessin'; sure there's not a Catholic-in the + counthry, barrin' Swaddlers, but's in the town by this,' says he: 'ay, an' + many of the Protestants themselves, and the Black-mouths, an' + Blue-bellies, (* Different denominations of Dissenters) are gone in to get + a share of it. And now,' says he, 'bekase you wor so heavy-headed, I + ordher it from this out, that the present night is to be obsarved in the + Catholic church all over the world, an' must be kept holy; an' no thrue + Catholic ever will miss from this pariod an opportunity of bein' awake at + midnight,' says he, 'glory be to God!' An' now, good Christians, you have + an account o' the blessed Carol I was singin' for yez. They're but hapuns + a-piece; an' anybody that has the grace to keep one o' these about them, + will never meet wid sudden deaths or accidents, sich as hangin', or + drownin', or bein' taken suddenly wid a configuration inwardly. I wanst + knew a holy man that had a dhrame—about a friend of his, it was——Will + any of yez take one?— + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, a colleen: my blessin', the bless-in' o' the pilgrim, be an + you! God bless you, Mike Reillaghan; an' I'm proud that he put it into + your heart to buy one for the rasons you know. An' now that Father + Hoolaghan's comin', any of yez that 'ill want them 'ill find me here agin + when mass is over—Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin!” + </p> + <p> + The priest at this time made his appearance, and those who had been + assembled on the cross-roads joined the crowd at the chapel. No sooner was + it bruited among them that their pastor had arrived, than the noise, + gabble, singing, and laughing were immediately hushed; the shebeen and + public-houses were left untenanted; and all flocked to the chapel-green, + where mass was to be said, as the crowd was too large to be contained + within the small chapel. + </p> + <p> + Mike Reillaghan and Peggy Gartland were among the last who sought the + “green;” as lovers, they probably preferred walking apart, to the + inconvenience of being jostled by the multitude. As they sauntered on + slowly after the rest, Mike felt himself touched on the shoulder, and on + turning round, found Darby More beside him. + </p> + <p> + “It's painful to my feelin's,” observed the mendicant, “to have to say + this blessed night that your father's son should act so shabby an' + ondacent.” + </p> + <p> + “Saints above! how, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, don't you know that only for me—for what I heard, an' what I + tould you—you'd not have the purty girl here at your elbow? Wasn't + it, as I said, his intintion to come and whip down the colleen to + Kilnaheery while the family 'ud be at mass; sure only for this, I say, you + bosthoon, an' that I made you bring her to mass, where 'ud the purty + colleen be? why half way to Kilnaheery, an' the girl disgraced for ever!” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue for you, Darby, I grant it: but what do you want me to do?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, for that matther, nothin' at all, Mike; only I suppose that when your + tailor made the clothes an you, he put no pockets to them?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I see where you are, Darby! well, here's a crown for you; an' when + Peggy an' I's made man and wife, you'll get another.” + </p> + <p> + “Mike, achora, I see you are your father's son still; now listen to me: + first you needn't fear sudden death while you keep that blessed Carol + about you; next get your friends together goin' home, for Frank might jist + take the liberty, wid about a score of his 'boys,' to lift her from you + even thin. Do the thing, I say—don't thrust him; an' moreover, watch + in her father's house tonight wid your friends. Thirdly, make it up wid + Frank; there's an oath upon you both, you persave? Make it up wid him, if + he axes you: don't have a broken oath upon you; for if you refuse, he'll + put you out o' connection, (* That is, out of connection with Ribbonism) + an' that 'ud plase him to the back-bone.” + </p> + <p> + Mike felt the truth and shrewdness of this advice, and determined to + follow it. Both young men had been members of an illegal society, and in + yielding to their passions so far as to assault each other, had been + guilty of perjury. The following Christmas-day had been appointed by their + parish Delegates to take the quarrel into consideration; and the best + means of escaping censure was certainly to express regret for what had + occurred, and to terminate the hostility by an amicable adjustment of + their disputes. + </p> + <p> + They had now reached the chapel-green, where the scene that presented + itself was so striking and strange, that we will give the reader an + imperfect sketch of its appearance. He who stood at midnight upon a little + mount which rose behind the chapel, might see between five and six + thousand torches, all blazing together, and forming a level mass of red + dusky light, burning against the dark horizon. These torches were so close + to each other that their light seemed to blend, as if they had constituted + one wide surface of flame; and nothing could be more preternatural-looking + than the striking and devotional countenances of those who were assembled + at their midnight worship, when observed beneath this canopy of fire. The + Mass was performed under the open sky, upon a table covered with the + sacrificial linen, and other apparatus for the ceremony. The priest stood, + robed in white, with two large torches on each side of his book, reciting + the prayers in a low, rapid voice, his hands raised, whilst the + congregation were hushed and bent forward in the reverential silence of + devotion, their faces touched by the strong blaze of the torches into an + expression of deep solemnity. The scenery about the place was wild and + striking; and the stars, scattered thinly over the heavens, twinkled with + a faint religious light, that blended well with the solemnity of this + extraordinary worship, and rendered the rugged nature of the abrupt cliffs + and precipices, together with the still outline of the stern mountains, + sufficiently visible to add to the wildness and singularity of the + ceremony. In fact, there was an unearthly character about it; and the + spectre-like appearance of the white-robed priest as he + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Muttered his prayer to the midnight air,” + </pre> + <p> + would almost impress a man with the belief that it was a meeting of the + dead, and that the priest was repeating, like the Gray Friar, his + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Mass of the days that were gone.” + </pre> + <p> + On the ceremony being concluded, the scene, however, was instantly + changed: the lights were waved and scattered promiscuously among each + other, giving an idea of confusion and hurry that was strongly contrasted + with the death-like stillness that prevailed a few minutes before. The + gabble and laugh were again heard loud and hearty, and the public and + shebeen houses once more became crowded. Many of the young I people made, + on these occasions, what is I called “a runaway;” (* Rustic elopement) and + other peccadilloes took place, for which the delinquents were “either read + out from the altar,” or sent; probably to St. Patrick's Purgatory at Lough + Derg, to do penance. Those who did not choose to stop in the + whiskey-houses now hurried home with all speed, to take some sleep before + early Mass, which was to be performed the next morning about daybreak. The + same number of lights might therefore be seen streaming in different ways + over the parish; the married men holding the torches, and leading their + wives; bachelors escorting their sweethearts, and not unfrequently + extinguishing their flambeaux, that the dependence of the females upon + their care and protection might more lovingly call forth their gallantry. + </p> + <p> + When Mike Reillaghan considered with due attention the hint which Darby + More had given him, touching the necessity of collecting his friends as an + escort for Peggy Gartland, he had strong reasons to admit its justness and + propriety. After Mass he spoke to about two dozen young fellows who joined + him, and under their protection Peggy now returned safely to her father's + house. + </p> + <p> + Frank M'Kenna and his wife reached home about two o'clock; the dance was + comparatively thin, though still kept up with considerable spirit. Having + solemnized himself by the grace of so sacred a rite, Frank thought proper + to close the amusement, and recommend those whom he found in the barn to + return to their respective dwellings. + </p> + <p> + “You have had a merry night, childher,” said he; “but too much o' one + thing's good for nothin'; so don't make a toil of a pleasure, but go all + home dacently an' soberly, in the name o' God.” + </p> + <p> + This advice was accordingly followed. The youngsters separated, and + M'Kenna joined his family, “to have a sup along wid them and Barny, in + honor of what they had hard.” It was upon this occasion he missed his son + Frank, whose absence from the dance he had not noticed since his return + until then. + </p> + <p> + “Musha, where's Frank,” he inquired: “I'll warrant him, away wid his + blackguards upon no good. God look down upon him! Many a black heart has + that boy left us! If it's not the will o' heaven, I fear he'll come to no + good. Barny, is he long gone from the dance?” + </p> + <p> + “Troth, Frank, wid the noise an' dancin', an' me bem' dark,” replied + Barny, shrewdly, “I can't take on me to say. For all you spake agin him, + the sorra one of him but's a clane, dacent, spirited boy, as there is + widin a great ways of him. Here's all your, healths! Faix, 'girls, you'll + all sleep sound.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Mrs. M'Kenna, “the knowledge of that Darby More is + unknowable! Here's a Carol I bought from him, an' if you wor but to hear + the explanations he put to it! Why Father Hoolaghan could hardly outdo + him!” + </p> + <p> + “Divil a-man in the five parishes can dance 'Jig Polthogue' wid him, for + all that,” said Barny. “Many a time Granua an' I played it for him, an' + you'd know the tune upon his feet. He undherstands a power o' ranns and + prayers, an' has charms an' holy herbs for all kinds of ailments, no + doubt.” + </p> + <p> + “These men, you see,” observed Mrs. M'Kenna, in the true spirit of + credulity and superstition, “may do many things that the likes of us + oughtn't to do, by raison of their great fastin' an' prayin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue for you, Alley,” replied her husband: “but come, let us have a sup + more in comfort: the sleep's gone <i>a shraugran</i> an us this night, any + way, so, Barny, give us a song, an' afther that we'll have a taste o' + prayers, to close the night.” + </p> + <p> + “But you don't think of the long journey I've before me,” replied Barny: + “how-and-iver, if you promise to send some one home wid me, we'll have the + song. I wouldn't care, but the night bein' dark, you see, I'll want + somebody to guide me.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, an' it's but rasonable, Barny, an' you must get Rody home wid you. + I suppose he's asleep in his bed by this, but we'll rouse him!” + </p> + <p> + Barny replied by a loud triumphant laugh, for this was one of his standing + jests. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Frank,” said he, “I never thought you war so soft, and me can pick + my steps me same at night as in daylight! Sure that's the way I done them + to-night, when one o' Granua's strings broke. 'Sweets o' psin,' says I; 'a + candle—bring me a candle immediately.' An' down came Rody in all + haste wid a candle. 'Six eggs to you, Rody,' says myself, 'an' + half-a-dozen o' them rotten! but you're a bright boy, to bring a candle to + a blind man!' and then he stood <i>a bouloare</i> to the whole house—ha, + ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + Barny, who was not the man to rise first from the whiskey, commenced the + relation of his choicest anecdotes; old Frank and the family, being now in + a truly genial mood, entered into the spirit of his jests, so that between + chat, songs, and whiskey, the hour had now advanced to four o'clock. The + fiddler was commencing another song, when the door opened, and Frank + presented himself, nearly, but not altogether in a state of intoxication; + his face was besmeared with blood; and his whole appearance that of a man + under the influence of strong passion, such as would seem to be produced + by disappointment and defeat. + </p> + <p> + “What!” said the father, “is it snowin', Frank? Your clothes are covered + wid snow!” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, guard us!” exclaimed the mother, “is that blood upon your face, + Frank?” + </p> + <p> + “It is snowin', and it is blood that's upon my face,” answered Frank, + moodily—“do you want to know more news?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, ay indeed,” replied his mother, “we want to hear how you came to be + cut?” + </p> + <p> + “You won't hear it, thin,” he replied. + </p> + <p> + The mother was silent, for she knew the terrible fits of passion to which + he was subject. + </p> + <p> + The father groaned deeply, and exclaimed—“Frank, Frank, God help + you, an' show you the sins you're committin', an' the heart-scaldin' + you're givin' both your mother and me! What fresh skrimmage had you that + you're in that state?” + </p> + <p> + “Spare yourself the throuble of inquirin',” he replied: “all I can say,” + he continued, starting up into sudden fury—“all I can say, an' I say + it—I swear it—where's the prayer-book?” and he ran frantically + to a shelf beside the dresser on which the prayer-book lay,—“ay! by + him that made me I'll sware it—by this sacred book, while I live, + Mike Keillaghan, the husband of Peggy Gartland you'll never be, if I + should swing for it! Now you all seen I kissed the book!” as he spoke, he + tossed it back upon the shelf. + </p> + <p> + The mirth that had prevailed in the family was immediately hushed, and a + dead silence ensued; Frank sat down, but instantly rose again, and flung + the chair from him with such violence that it was crashed to pieces; he + muttered oaths and curses, ground his teeth, and betrayed all the symptoms + of jealousy, hatred, and disappointment. + </p> + <p> + “Frank, a bouchal,” said Barny, commencing to address him in a + conciliatory tone—“Frank, man alive——” + </p> + <p> + “Hould your tongue, I say, you blind vagabone, or by the night above us, + I'll break your fiddle over your skull, if you dar to say another word. + What I swore I'll do, an' let no one crass me.” + </p> + <p> + He was a powerful young man, and such was his temper, and so well was it + understood, that not one of the family durst venture a word of + remonstrance. + </p> + <p> + The father arose, went to the door, and returned. “Barny,” said he, “you + must content yourself where you are for this night. It's snowin' heavily, + so you had betther sleep wid Rody; I see a light in the barn, I suppose + he's after bringing in his bed an' makin' it.” + </p> + <p> + “I'll do any thing,” replied the poor fiddler, now apprehensive of + violence from the outrageous temper of young Frank. + </p> + <p> + “Well, thin,” added the good man, “let us all go to bed, in the name of + God. Micaul, bring Barny to the barn, and see that he's comfortable.” + </p> + <p> + This was complied with, and the family quietly and timidly retired to + rest, leaving the violent young man storming and digesting his passion, + behind them. + </p> + <p> + Mass on Christmas morning was then, as now, performed at day-break, and + again the Roman Catholic inhabitants of the parish were up betimes to + attend it. Frank M'Kenna's family were assembled, notwithstanding their + short sleep, at an early breakfast; but their meal, in consequence of the + unpleasant sensation produced by the outrage of their son, was less + cheerful than it would I otherwise have been. Perhaps, too, the gloom + which hung over them, was increased by the snow that had fallen the night + before, and by the wintry character of the day, which was such as to mar + much of their expected enjoyment. There was no allusion made to their + son's violence over-night; neither did he himself appear to be in any + degree affected by it. When breakfast was over, they prepared to attend + mass, and, what was unusual, young Frank was the first to set out for the + chapel. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe,” said the father, after he was gone—“maybe that fool of a + boy is sarry for his behavior. It's many a day since I knew him to go to + mass of his own accord. It's a good sign, any way.” + </p> + <p> + “Musha,” inquired his mother, “what could happen atween him an' that civil + boy, Mike Reillaghan?” + </p> + <p> + “The sorra one o' me knows,” replied his father: “an' now that I think of + it, sure enough there was none o' them at the dance last night, although I + sent himself down for them. Micaul,” he added, addressing the other son, + “will you put an your big coat, slip down to Reillaghan's, an' bring me + word what came atween them at all; an' tell Owen himself the thruth that + this boy's brakin' our hearts by his coorses.” + </p> + <p> + Micaul, who, although he knew the cause of the enmity between these + rivals, was ignorant of that which occasioned his brother's rash oath, + also felt anxious to ascertain the circumstances of the last quarrel. For + this purpose, as well as in obedience to his father's wishes, he proceeded + to Reillaghan's and arrived just as Darby More and young Mike had set out + for mass. + </p> + <p> + “What,” said the mendicant, “can be bringing Micaul down, I wondher? + somethin' about that slip o' grace, his brother.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose, so,” said Mike; “an' I wish the same slip was as dacent an' + inoffensive as he is. I don't know a boy livin' I'd go farther for nor the + same Micaul.—He's a credit to the family as much as the other's a + stain upon them.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, any how, you war Frank's match, an' more, last night. How bitther + he was bint on bringin' Peggy aff', when he an' his set waited till they + seen the country clear, an' thought the family asleep? Had you man for + man, Mike?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, about that; an' we sat so snug in Peggy's that you'd hear a pin + fallin'. A hard tug, too, there was in the beginnin'; but whin they found + that we had a strong back, they made away, an' we gave them purshute from + about the house.” + </p> + <p> + “You may thank me, any how, for havin' her to the good; but I knew by my + dhrame, wid the help o' God, that there was somethin' to happen; by the + same a token, that your mother's an' her high horse about that dhrame. I'm + to tell it to her, wid the sinse of it, in the evenin', when the day's + past, an' all of us in comfort.” + </p> + <p> + “What was it, Darby? sure you may let me hear it.” + </p> + <p> + “Maybe I will in the evenin'. It was about you an' Peggy, the darlin'. But + how will you manage in regard of brakin' the oath, an' sthrikin' a + brother?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, that I couldn't get over it, when he sthruck me first: sure he's + worse off. I'll lave it to the Dilegates, an' whatever judgment they give + out, I'll take wid it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” observed Darby, sarcastically, “it made him do one good turn, any + way.” + </p> + <p> + “What was that, Darby? for good turns are but scarce wid him.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, it made him hear mass to-day,” replied the mendicant; “an' that's + what he hadn't the grace to do this many a year. It's away in the + mountains wid his gun he'd be, thracin', an' a fine day it is for it—only + this business prevints him. Now, Mike,” observed. Darby, “as we're comin' + out upon the boreen, I'll fall back, an' do you go an; I have part of my + padareem to say, before I get to the chapel, wid a blessin'; an' we had as + good not be seen together.” + </p> + <p> + The mendicant, as he spoke, pulled out a long pair of beads, on which he + commenced his prayers, occasionally accosting an aquaintance with the <i>Gho + mhany Deah ghud</i>, (* God save you) and sometimes taking a part in the + conversation for a minute or two, after which he resumed the prayers as + before. + </p> + <p> + The day was now brightening up, although the earlier part of the morning + had threatened severe weather. Multitudes were flocking to the chapel; the + men well secured in frieze great-coats, in addition to which, many of them + had their legs bound with straw ropes, and others with leggings made of + old hats, cut up for the purpose. The women were secured with cloaks, the + hoods of which were tied with kerchiefs of some showy color over their + bonnets or their caps, which, together with their elbows projecting + behind, for the purpose of preventing their dress from being dabbled in + the snow, gave them a marked and most picturesque appearance. + </p> + <p> + Reillaghan and M'Kenna both reached the chapel a considerable time before + the arrival of the priest; and as a kind of Whiteboy committee was to sit + for the purpose of investigating their conduct in holding out so dangerous + an example as they did, by striking each other, contrary to their oaths as + brothers under the same system, they accordingly were occupied each in + collecting his friends, and conciliating those whom they supposed to be + hostile to them on the opposite party. It had been previously arranged + that this committee should hold a court of inquiry, and that, provided + they could not agree, the matter was to be referred to two + hedge-schoolmasters, who should act as umpires; but if it happened that + the latter could not decide it, there was no other tribunal appointed to + which a final appeal could be made. + </p> + <p> + According to these regulations, a court was opened in a shebeen-house, + that stood somewhat distant from the road. Twelve young fellows seated + themselves on each side of a deal table, with one of the umpires at each + end of it, and a bottle of whiskey in the middle. In a higher sphere of + life it is usual to refer such questionable conduct as occurs in duelling, + to the arbitration of those who are known to be qualified by experience in + the duello. On this occasion the practice was not much departed from, + those who had been thus selected as the committee being the notoriously + pugnacious “boys” in the whole parish. + </p> + <p> + “Now, boys,” said one of the schoolmasters, “let us proceed to operations + wid proper spirit,” and he filled a glass of whiskey as he spoke. “Here's + all your healths, and next, pace and unanimity to us! Call in the + culprits.” + </p> + <p> + Both were accordingly admitted, and the first speaker resumed—“Now, + in the second place, I'll read yez that part of the oath which binds us + all under the obligation of not strikin' one another—hem! hem! 'No + brother is to strike another, knowing him to be such; he's to strike him—hem!—neither + in fair nor market, at home nor abroad, neither in public nor in private, + neither on Sunday nor week-day, present or absent, nor—'” + </p> + <p> + “I condimn that,” observed the other master—“I condimn it, as bein' + too latitudinarian in principle, an' containing a para-dogma; besides it's + bad grammar.” + </p> + <p> + “You're rather airly in the market wid your bad grammar,” replied the + other: “I'll grant you the paradogma, but I'll stand up for the grammar of + it, while I'm able to stand up for anything.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, an' if you rise to stand up for that,” replied his friend, “and + doesn't choose to sit down till you prove it to be good grammar, you'll be + a standin' joke all your life.” + </p> + <p> + “I bleeve it's purty conspicuous in the parish, that I have often, in our + disputations about grammar, left you widout a leg to stand upon at all,” + replied the other. + </p> + <p> + This sally was well received, but his opponent was determined to push home + the argument at once. + </p> + <p> + “I would be glad to know,” he inquired, “by what beautiful invintion a man + could contrive to strike another in his absence? Have you good grammar for + that?” + </p> + <p> + “And did you never hear of detraction?” replied his opponent; “that is, a + man who's in the habit of spaking falsehoods of his friends whin their + backs are turned—that is to say, whin they are absent. Now, sure, if + a man's absent whin his back's turned, mayn't any man whose back's turned + be said to be absent—ergo, to strike a man behind his back is to + strike him whin he's absent. Does that confound you? where's your logic + and grammar to meet proper ratiocination like what I'm displaying?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith,” replied the other, “you may have had logic and grammar, but I'll + take my oath it was in your younger years, for both have been absent ever + since I knew you: they turned their backs upon you, man alive; for they + didn't like, you see, to be keepin' bad company—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you poor crathur,” said his antagonist, “if I'd choose to let myself + out, I could make a hare of you in no time entirely.” + </p> + <p> + “And an ass of yourself,” retorted the other: “but you may save yourself + the throuble in regard of the last, for your frinds know you to be an ass + ever since they remimber you. You have them here, man alive, the + auricles,” and he pointed to his ears. + </p> + <p> + “Hut! get out wid you, you poor Jamaica-headed castigator, you; sure you + never had more nor a thimbleful o' sinse on any subject.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, an' the thimble that measured yours was a tailor's, one widout a + bottom in it, an' good measure you got, you miserable flagellator! what + are you but a <i>nux vomica?</i> A fit of the ague's a thrifle compared to + your asinity.” + </p> + <p> + The “boys” were delighted at this encounter, and utterly forgetful of the + pacific occasion on which they had assembled, began to pit them against + each other with great glee. + </p> + <p> + “That's a hard hit, Misther Costigan; but you won't let it pass, any how.” + </p> + <p> + “The ague an' you are ould acquaintances,” retorted Costigan; “whenever a + skrimmage takes place, you're sure to resave a visit from it.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I'm not such a hare as yourself,” replied his rival, “nor such a + great hand at batin' the absent—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Bravo, Misther Connell—that's a leveller; come, Misther Costigan, + bedad, if you don't answer that you're bate.” + </p> + <p> + “By this and by that, man alive, if you don't mend your manners, maybe I'd + make it betther for you to be absent also. You'll only put me to the + throuble of men din' them for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Mend my manners!” exclaimed his opponent, with a bitter sneer,—“you + to mend them! out wid your budget and your hammer, then; you're the very + tinker of good manners—bekase for one dacency you'd mend, you'd + spoil twenty.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm able to hammer you at all events, or, for that matther, any one of + your illiterate gineration. Sure it's well known that you can't tach + Voshther (Voster) widout the Kay.” + </p> + <p> + “Hould there, if you plase,” exclaimed one of his opponent's relations; + “don't lug in his family; that's known to be somewhat afore your own, I + bleeve. There's no Informers among them, Misther Costigan: keep at home, + masther, if you plase.” + </p> + <p> + “At home! That's more than some o' your own cleavings (* distant + relations) have been able to do,” rejoined Costigan, alluding to one of + the young fellow's acquaintances who had been transported. + </p> + <p> + “Do you mane to put an affront upon me?” said the other. + </p> + <p> + “Since the barrhad (* cap) fits you, wear it,” replied Costigan. + </p> + <p> + “Very right, masther, make him a present of it,” exclaimed one of + Costigan's distant relations; “he desarves that, an' more if he'd get it.” + </p> + <p> + “Do I?” said the other; “an' what have you to say on the head of it, + Bartle?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, not much,” answered Bartle, “only that you ought to've left it + betune them; an' that I'll back Misther Costigan agin any rascal that 'ud + say there was ever a dhrop of his blood in an Informer's veins.” + </p> + <p> + “I say it for one,” replied the other. + </p> + <p> + “And I, for another,” said Connell; “an' what's worse, I'll hould a wager, + that if he was searched this minute, you'd find a Kay to Gough in his + pocket, although he throws Vosther in my teeth: the dunce never goes + widout one. Sure he's not able to set a dacent copy, or headline, or to + make a dacent hook, nor a hanger, nor a down stroke, and was a poor + scholar, too!” + </p> + <p> + “I'll give you a down stroke in the mane time, you ignoramus,” said the + pedagogue, throwing' himself to the end of the table at I which his enemy + sat, and laying him along the floor by a single blow. + </p> + <p> + He was instantly attacked by the friend of the prostrate academician, who + was in his turn attacked by the friend of Costigan. The adherents of the + respective teachers I were immediately rushing to a general engagement, + when the door opened, and Darby More made his appearance. + </p> + <p> + “Asy!—stop wid yees!—hould back, ye I disgraceful villains!” + exclaimed the mendicant, in a thundering voice. “Be asy, I say. Saints in + glory! is this the way you're settlin' the dispute between the two dacent + young men, that's sorry, both o' them, I'll go bail, for what they done. + Sit down, every one o' yez, or, by the blessed ordhers I wear about me, + I'll report yez to Father Hoolaghan, an' have yez read out from the + althar, or sint to Lough Derg! Sit down, I say!” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, he extended his huge cant between the hostile parties, and + thrust them one by one to their seats with such muscular energy, that he + had them sitting before another blow could be given. + </p> + <p> + “Saints in glory!” he exclaimed again, “isn't this blessed doins an the + sacred day that's in it! that a poor helpless ould man like me can't come + to get somethin' to take away this misfortunit touch o' configuration that + I'm afflicted wid in cowld weather—that I can't take a little sup of + the only thing that I cures me—widout your ructions and battles! You + came here to make pace between two dacent men's childher, an' you're as + bad, if not worse, yourselves!—Oh, wurrah dheelish, what's this! I'm + in downright agony! Oh, murdher sheery! Has none o' yez a hand to thry if + there's e'er a dhrop of relief in that bottle? or am I to die all out, in + the face o' the world, for want of a sup o' somethin' to warm me?” + </p> + <p> + “Darby, thry the horn,” said M'Kenna. + </p> + <p> + “Here, Darby,” said one of them, “dhrink this off, an' my life for yours, + it'll warm you to the marrow!” + </p> + <p> + “Och, musha, but I wanted it badly,” replied Darby, swallowing it at once; + “it's the only thing that does me good when I'm this way. <i>Deah + Graslhias!</i> Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!” + </p> + <p> + “I think,” said M'Kenna, “that what's in the horn's far afore it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, thin, you thoughtless crathur, if you knew somethin' I hard about you + a while ago, you'd think otherwise. But, indeed, it's thrue for you; I'm + sure I'd be sarry to compare what's in it to anything o' the kind I tuck. + Deah Grasthias! Throth, I'm asier now a great dale nor I was.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you take another sup, Darby?” inquired the young fellow in whose + hands the bottle was now nearly empty; there's jist about another glass.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, an' I 'will, avillish; an' sure you'll have my blessin' for it, + an' barrin' the priest's own, you couldn't have a more luckier one—blessed + be God for it—sure that's well known. In throth, they never came to + ill that had it, an' never did good that got my curse! Hoop! do you hear + how that rises the wind off o' my stomach! Houp!—Deah Grasthias for + that!” + </p> + <p> + “How did you larn all the prayers an' charms you have, Darby?” inquired + the bottle-holder. + </p> + <p> + “It would take me too long to tell you that, avillish! But, childher, now + that you're all together, make it up wid one another. Aren't you all + frinds an' brothers, sworn brothers, an' why would you be fightin' among + other? Misther Costigan, give me your hand; sure I heard a thrifle o' what + you were sayin' while I was suckin' my dudeen at the fire widout. Come + here, Misther Connell. Now, before the saints in glory, I lay my bitter + curse an him that refuses to shake hands wid his inimy. There now—I'm + proud to see it. Mike, avourneen, come here—Frank M'Kenna, gustho (* + come hither), walk over here; my bitther heart's curse upon of yez, if you + don't make up all quarrels this minit! Are you willin, Mike lieillaghan?” + </p> + <p> + “I have no objection in life,” replied Mike, “if he'll say that Peggy + Gartland won't be put to any more throuble through his manes.” + </p> + <p> + “There's my hand, Mike,” said Frank, “that I forget an' forgive all that's + past; and in regard to Peggy Gartland, why, as she's so dark agin me, I + lave her to you for good.” * + </p> + <p> + “Well! see what it is to have the good intintions!—to be makin' pace + an' friendship atween inimies! That's all I think about, an' nothin' gives + me greater pleas—Saints o' glory!—what's this!—Oh + wurrah!—that thief of a—wurrah dheelish!—that touch o' + configuration's comin' back agin!—O, thin, but it's hard to get it + undher!—Oh!”— + </p> + <p> + “I'm sarry for it, Darby,” replied he who held the now empty bottle; “for + the whiskey's out.” + </p> + <p> + “Throth, an' I'm sarry myself, for nothin' else does me good; an' Father + Hoolaghan says nothin' can keep it down, barrin' the sup o' whiskey. It's + best burnt, wid a little bit o' butther an it; but I can't get that + always, it overtakes me so suddenly, glory be to God!” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said M'Kenna, “as Mike an' myself was the manes of bringin' us + together, why, if he joins me, we'll have another bottle.” + </p> + <p> + “Throth, an' its fair an' dacent, an' he must do it; by the same a token, + that I'll not lave the house till it's dhrunk, for there's no thrustin' + yez together, you're so hot-headed an' ready to rise the hand,” said + Darby. + </p> + <p> + M'Kenna and Mike, having been reconciled, appeared in a short time warmer + friends than ever. While the last bottle went round, those who had before + been on the point of engaging in personal conflict, now laughed at their + own foibles, and expressed the kindness and good-will which they felt for + each other at heart. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said the mendicant, “go all of you to mass, an' as soon as you can, + to confission, for it's not good to have the broken oath an' the sin of it + over one. Confiss it, an' have your conscience light: sure it's a + happiness that you can have the guilt taken off o' yez, childher.” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue for you, Darby,” they replied; “an' we'll be thinkin' of your + advice.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, do, childher; an' there's Father Hoolaghan comin' down the road, so, + in the name o' Goodness, we haven't a minnit to lose.” + </p> + <p> + They all left the shebeen-house as he spoke except Frank and himself, who + remained until they had gone out of hearing. + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said he, “I want you to come up to our house in the mornin', an' + bring along wid you the things that you Stamp the crass upon the skin wid: + I'm goin' to get the crucifix put upon me. But on the paril o' your life, + don't brathe a word of it to mortual.” + </p> + <p> + “God enable you, avick! it's a good intintion. I will indeed be up wid you—airly + too, wid a blessin'. It is that, indeed—a good intintion, sure + enough.” + </p> + <p> + The parish chapel was about one hundred perches from the shebeen-house in + which the “boys” had assembled; the latter were proceeding there in a body + when Frank overtook them. + </p> + <p> + “Mike,” said he aside to Reillaghan, “we'll have time enough—walk + back a bit; I'll tell you what I'm thinkin'; you never seen in your life a + finer day for thracin; what 'ud you say if we give the boys the slip, + never heed mass, an' set off to the mountains?” + </p> + <p> + “Won't we have time enough afther mass?” said Reillaghan. + </p> + <p> + “Why, man, sure you did hear mass once to-day. Weren't you at it last + night? No, indeed, we won't be time enough afther it; for this bein' + Chris'mas day, we must be home at dinner-time; you know it's not lucky to + be from the family upon set days. Hang-an-ounty, come: we'll have fine + sport! I have cocksticks * enough. The best part of the day 'll be gone if + we wait for mass. Come, an' let us start.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * A cockstick was so called from being used on Cock- + Monday, to throw at a cook tied to a stake, which was a + game common among the people It was about the length of + a common stick, but much heavier and thicker at one + end. +</pre> + <p> + “Well, well,” replied Reillaghan, “the sorra hair I care; so let us go. + I'd like myself to have a rap at the hares in the Black Hills, sure + enough; but as it 'ud be remarkable for us to be seen lavin' mass, why let + us crass the field here, an' get out upon the road above the bridge.” + </p> + <p> + To this his companion assented, and they both proceeded at a brisk pace, + each apparently anxious for the sport, and resolved to exhibit such a + frank cordiality of manner as might convince the other that all their past + enmity was forgotten and forgiven. + </p> + <p> + The direct path to the mountains lay by M'Kenna's house, where it was + necessary they should call, in order to furnish themselves with + cocksticks, and to bring dogs which young Frank kept for the purpose. The + inmates of the family were at mass, with the exception of Frank's mother, + and Rody, the servant-man, whom they found sitting on his own bed in the + barn, engaged at cards, the right hand against the left. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Rody,” said Frank, “who's winnin'?” + </p> + <p> + “The left entirely,” replied his companion: “the divil a game at all the + right's gettin', whatever's the rason of it, an' I'm always turnin' up + black. I hope none of my friends or acquaintances will die soon.” + </p> + <p> + “Throw them aside—quit of them,” said Prank, “give them to me, I'll + put them past; an' do you bring us out the gun. I've the powdher an' shot + here; we may as well bring her, an' have a slap at them. One o' the + officers in the barracks of —— keeps me in powdher an' shot, + besides givin' me an odd crown, an' I keep him in game.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, boys,” observed Rody, “what's the manin' o' this?—two o' + the biggest inimies in Europe last night an' this mornin' an' now as great + as two thieves! How does that come?” + </p> + <p> + “Very asy, Rody,” replied Reillaghan; “we made up the quarrel, shuck + hands, an's good frinds as ever.” + </p> + <p> + “Bedad, that bates cock-fightin',” said Body, as he went to bring in the + gun. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, Prank, with the cards in his hand, went to the eave of + the barn, I thrust them up under the thatch, and took out of the same nook + a flask of whiskey. + </p> + <p> + “We'll want this,” said he, putting it to his lips, and gulping down a + portion. “Come Mike, be tastin'; and aftherwards i put this in your + pocket.” + </p> + <p> + Mike followed his example, and was corking the flask when Rody returned + with the gun. + </p> + <p> + “She's charged,” said Frank; “but we'd betther put in fresh primin' for + 'fraid of her hangin' fire.” + </p> + <p> + He then primed the gun, and handed it to Reillaghan. “Do you keep the gun, + Mike,” he added, “an' I'll keep the cocksticks. Rody, I'll bet you a + shillin' I kill more wid! the cockstick, nor he will wid the gun, will you + take me up?” + </p> + <p> + “I know a safer thrick,” replied Rody; “you're a dead aim wid the + cockstick, sure enough, an' a deader with the gun, too; catch me at it.” + </p> + <p> + “You show some sinse, for a wondher,” observed Frank, as he and his + companion left the barn, and turned towards the mountains, which rose + frowning behind the house. Rody stood looking after them until they wound + up slowly out of sight among the hills; he then shook his head two or + three times, and exclaimed, “By dad, there's somethin' in this, if one + could make out: what it is. I know Frank.” + </p> + <p> + Christmas-day passed among the peasantry, as it usually passes in Ireland. + Friends met before dinner in their own, in their neighbors', in shebeen or + in public houses, where they drank, sang, or fought, according to their + natural dispositions, or the quantity of liquor they had taken. The + festivity of the day might be known by the unusual reek of smoke that + danced from each chimney, by the number of persons who crowded the roads, + by their bran-new dresses,—for if a young man or country girl can + afford a dress at all, they provide it for Christmas,—and by the + striking appearance of those who, having drunk a little too much, were + staggering home in the purest happiness, singing, stopping their friends, + shaking hands with them, or kissing them, without any regard to sex. Many + a time might be seen two Irishmen,' who had got drunk together, leaving a + fair or market, their arms about each other's necks, from whence they only + removed them to kiss and hug one another more lovingly. Notwithstanding + this, there is nothing more probable than that these identical two will + enjoy the luxury of a mutual battle, by way of episode, and again proceed + on their way, kissing and hugging as if nothing had happened to interrupt + their friendship. All the usual effects of jollity and violence, fun and + fighting, love and liquor, were, of course, to be seen, felt, heard, and + understood on this day, in a manner much more remarkable than on common + occasions; for it maybe observed, that the national festivals of the Irish + bring-out their strongest points of character with peculiar distinctness. + </p> + <p> + The family of Frank M'Kenna were sitting down to their Christmas dinner; + the good man had besought a blessing upon the comfortable and abundant + fare of which they were about to partake, and nothing was amiss, save the + absence of their younger son. + </p> + <p> + “Musha, where on earth can this boy be stayin'?” said the father: “I'm + sure this, above all days in the year, is one he oughtn't to be from home + an.” + </p> + <p> + The mother was about to inform him of the son's having gone to the + mountains, when the latter returned, breathless, pale, and horror-struck. + </p> + <p> + Rody eyed him keenly, and laid down the bit he was conveying to his mouth. + </p> + <p> + “Heavens above us!” exclaimed his mother, “what ails you?” + </p> + <p> + He only replied by dashing his hat upon the ground, and exclaiming, “Up + wid yez!—up wid yez!—quit your dinners! Oh, Rody! what'll be + done? Go down to Owen Reillaghan's—go 'way—go down—an' + tell thim—Oh, vick-na-hoie! but this was the unfortunate day to us + all? Mike reillaghan is shot with my gun; she went off in his hand goin' + over a snow wreath, an' he's lyin' dead in the mountains?” + </p> + <p> + The screams and the wailing which immediately rose in the family were + dreadful. Mrs. M'Kenna almost fainted; and the father, after many + struggles to maintain his firmness, burst into the bitter tears of + disconsolation and affliction. Rody was calmer, but turned his eyes from + one to another with a look of deep compassion, and again eyed Frank keenly + and suspiciously. + </p> + <p> + Frank's eye caught his, and the glance which had surveyed him with such a + scrutiny did not escape his observation. “Rody,” said he, “do you go an' + brake it to the, Reillaghans: you're the best to do it; for, when we were + settin' out, you saw that he-carried the gun, an' not me.” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue for you,” said Rody; “I saw that, Frank, and can swear to it; but + that's all I did see. I know nothing of what happened in the mountains.” + </p> + <p> + “Damnho sheery orth! (* Eternal perdition on you!) What do you mane, you + villain?” exclaimed Prank, seizing the tongs, and attempting to strike + him: “do you dar to suspect that I had any hand in it.” + </p> + <p> + “Wurrah dheelish, Frank,” screamed the sisters, “are you goin' to murdher + Rody?” + </p> + <p> + “Murdher,” he shouted, in a paroxysm of fury, “Why the curse o' God upon + you all, what puts murdher into your heads? Is it my own family that's the + first to charge me wid it?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, there's no one chargin' you wid it,” replied Rody; “not one, + whatever makes you take it to yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “An' what did you look at me for, thin, the way you did? What did you look + at me for, I say?” + </p> + <p> + “Is it any wondher,” replied the servant coolly, “when you had sich a + dreadful story to tell?” + </p> + <p> + “Go off,” replied Frank, now hoarse with passion—“go off! an' tell + the Reillaghans what happened; but, by all the books that ever was opened + or shut, if you breathe a word about murdher—about—if you do, + you villain, I'll be the death o' you!” + </p> + <p> + When Rody was gone on this melancholy errand, old M'Kenna first put the + tongs, and everything he feared might be used as a weapon by his frantic + son, out of his reach; he then took down the book on which he had the + night before sworn so rash and mysterious an oath, and desired his son to + look upon it. + </p> + <p> + “Frank,” said he, solemnly, “you swore on that blessed book last night, + that Mike Reillaghan never would be the husband of Peggy Gartland—he's + a corpse to-day! Yes,” he continued, “the good, the honest, the + industhrious boy is”—his sobs became so loud and thick that he + appeared almost suffocated. “Oh,” said he, “may God pity us! As I hope to + meet my blessed Savior, who was born on this day, I would rather you wor + the corpse, an' not Mike Reillaghan!” + </p> + <p> + “I don't doubt that,” said the son, fiercely; “you never showed me much + grah, (* affection) sure enough.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you ever desarve it?” replied the father. “Heaven above me knows it + was too much kindness was showed you. When you ought to have been well + corrected, you got your will an' your way, an' now see the upshot.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said the son, “it's the last day ever I'll stay in the family; + thrate me as bad as you plase. I'll take the king's bounty, an' list, if I + live to see to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, thin, in the name o' Goodness, do so,” said the father; “an' so far + from previntin' you, we'll bless you when you're gone, for goin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Arrah, Frank, aroon,” said Mrs. M'Kenna, who was now recovered, “maybe, + afther all, it was only an accident: sure we often hard of sich things. + Don't you remimber Squire Elliott's son, that shot himself by accident, + out fowlin'? Frank, can you clear yourself before us?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Alley! Alley!” exclaimed the father, wiping away his tears, “don't + you remimber his oath, last night?” + </p> + <p> + “What oath?” inquired the son, with an air of surprise—“What oath, + last night? I know I was drunk last night, but I remimber nothing about an + oath.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you deny it, you hardened boy?” + </p> + <p> + “I do deny it; an' I'm not a hardened boy. What do you all mane? do you + want to dhrive me mad? I know nothin' about any oath last night;” replied + the son in a loud voice. The grief of the mother and daughters was loud + during the pauses of the conversation. Micaul, the eldest son, sat beside + his father in tears. + </p> + <p> + “Frank,” said he, “many an advice I gave you between ourselves, and you + know how you tuck them. When you'd stale the oats, an' the meal, and the + phaties, an' hay, at night, to have money for your cards an' dhrinkin', I + kept it back, an' said nothin' about it. I wish I hadn't done so, for it + wasn't for your good: but it was my desire to have, as much pace and + quietness as possible.” + </p> + <p> + “Frank,” said the father, eyeing him solemnly, “it's possible that you do + forget the oath you made last night, for you war in liquor: I would give + the wide world that it was thrue. Can you now, in the presence of God, + clear yourself of havin' act or part in the death of Mike Reillaghan?” + </p> + <p> + “What 'ud ail me,” said the son, “if I liked?” + </p> + <p> + “Will you do it now for our satisfaction, an' take a load of misery off of + our hearts? It's the laste you may do, if you can do it. In the presence + of the great God, will you clear yourself now?” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose,” said the son, “I'll have to clear myself to-morrow, an' + there's no use in my doin' it more that wanst. When the time comes, I'll + do it.” + </p> + <p> + The father put his hands on his eyes, and groaned aloud: so deep was his + affliction, that the tears trickled through his fingers during this fresh + burst of sorrow. The son's refusal to satisfy them renewed the grief of + all, as well as of the father: it rose again, louder than before, whilst + young Frank sat opposite the door, silent and sullen. + </p> + <p> + It was now dark, but the night was calm and agreeable. M'Kenna's family + felt the keen affliction which we have endeavored to describe; the dinner + was put hastily aside, and the festive spirit peculiar to this night + became changed into one of gloom and sorrow. In this state they sat, when + the voice of grief was heard loud in the distance; the strong cry of men, + broken and abrupt, mingled with the shrieking wail of female lamentation. + </p> + <p> + The M'Kennas started, and Frank's countenance assumed an expression which + it would be difficult to describe. There was, joined to his extreme + paleness, a restless, apprehensive, and determined look; each trait + apparently struggling for the ascendancy in his character, and attempting' + to stamp his countenance with its own expression. + </p> + <p> + “Do you hear that?” said his father. “Oh, musha, Father of heaven, look + down an' support that family this night! Frank if you take my advice, + you'll lave their sight; for surely if they brain you on the spot, who + could blame them?” + </p> + <p> + “Why ought I lave their sight?” replied Frank. “I tell you all that I had + no hand in his death. The gun went off by accident as he was crassin' a + wreath o' snow. I was afore him, and when I heard the report, an' turned + round, there he lay, shot an' bleedin'. I thought it mightn't signify, but + on lookin' at him closely, I found him quite dead. I then ran home, never + touchin' the gun at all, till his family and the neighbors 'ud see him. + Surely, it's no wondher I'd be distracted in my mind; but that's no rason + you should all open upon me as if I had murdhered the boy!” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said the father, “I'm glad to hear you say even that much. I hope + it maybe betther wid you than we all think; an' oh! grant it, sweet mother + o' Heaven, this day! Now carry yourself quietly afore the people. If they + abuse you, don't fly into a passion, but make allowance for their grief + and misery.” + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, the tumult was deepening as it approached M'Kenna's + house. The report had almost instantly spread through in the village which + Reillaghan lived; and the loud cries of his father and brothers, who, in + the wildness of their despair, continually called upon his name, had been + heard at the houses which lay scattered over the neighborhood. Their + inmates, on listening to such unusual sounds, sought the direction from + which they proceeded, for it was quite evident that some terrible calamity + had befallen the Reillaghans, in consequence of the son's name being borne + on the blasts of night with such loud and overwhelming tones of grief and + anguish. The assembly, on reaching M'Kenna's, might, therefore, be + numbered at thirty, including the females of Reillaghan's immediate + family, who had been strung by the energy of despair to a capability of + bearing any fatigue, or rather to an utter insensibility of all bodily + suffering. + </p> + <p> + We must leave the scene which ensued to the reader's imagination, merely + observing, that as neither the oath which young Frank had taken on the + preceding night, nor indeed the peculiar bitterness of his enmity towards + the deceased, was known by the Reillaghans, they did not, therefore, + discredit the account of his death which they had heard. + </p> + <p> + Their grief was exclamatory and full of horror: consisting of prolonged + shrieks on the part of the women, and frantic howlings on that of the men. + The only words they uttered were his name, with epithets and ejaculations. + <i>Oh a Vichaul dheelish—a Vichaul dheelish—a bouchal bane + machree—wuil thu marra—wuil thu marra?</i> “Oh, Michael, the + beloved—Michael, the beloved—fair boy of our heart—are + you dead?—are you dead?” From M'Kenna's the crowd, at the head of + which was Darby More, proceeded towards the mountains, many of them + bearing torches, such as had been used on their way to the Midnight Mass. + The moon had disappeared, the darkness was deepening, and the sky was + overhung with black heavy clouds, that gave a stormy character to scenery + in itself re wild and gloomy. + </p> + <p> + Young M'Kenna and the pilgrim led them to the dreary waste in which the + corpse lay. It was certainly an awful spectacle to behold these unhappy + people toiling up the mountain solitude at such an hour, their convulsed + faces thrown into striking relief by the light of the torches, and their + cries rising in wild irregular cadences upon the blast which swept over + them with a dismal howl, in perfect character with their affliction, and + the circumstances which produced it. + </p> + <p> + On arriving within view of the corpse, there was a slight pause; for, + notwithstanding the dreadful paroxysms of their grief, there was something + still more startling and terrible in contemplating the body thus stretched + out in the stillness of death, on the lonely mountain. The impression it + produced was peculiarly solemn: the grief was hushed for a moment, but + only for a moment; it rose again wilder than before, and in a few minutes + the friends of Reillaghan were about to throw themselves upon the body, + under the strong impulse of sorrow and affection. + </p> + <p> + The mendicant, however, stepped forward “Hould back,” said he; “it's hard + to ax yez to do it, but still you must. Let the neighbors about us here + examine the body, in ordher to see whether it mightn't be possible that + the dacent boy came by his death from somebody else's hand than his own. + Hould forrid the lights,” said he, “till we see how he's lyin', an' how + the gun's lyin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said young Frank, “I can't but be oblaged to you for that. You're + the last man livin' ought to say what you said, afther you seein' us both + forget an' forgive this day. I call upon you now to say whether you didn't + see him an' me shakin' hands, and buryin' all bad feelin' between us?” + </p> + <p> + “I'll spake to you jist now,” replied the mendicant. “See here, neighbors, + obsarve this; the boy was shot in the breast, an' here's not a snow + wreath, but a weeshy dhrift that a child 'ud step acrass widout an + accident. I tell you all, that I suspect foul play in this.” + </p> + <p> + “Hell's fire,” exclaimed the brother of the deceased, “what's that you + say? What! Can it be—can it—can it—that you murdhered + him, you villain, that's known to be nothin' but a villain? But I'll do + for you!” He snatched at the gun as he spoke, and would probably have + taken ample and fearful vengeance upon Frank, had not the mendicant and + others prevented him. + </p> + <p> + “Have sinse,” said Darby; “this is not the way to behave, man; lave the + gun lyin' where she is, till we see more about us. Stand back there, an' + let me look at these marks: ay, about five yards—there's the track + of feet about five yards before him—here they turn about, an' go + back. Here, Savior o' the world! see here! the mark, clane an' clear, of + the butt o' the gun! Now if that boy stretched afore us had the gun in his + hand the time she went off, could the mark of it be here? Bring me down + the gun—an' the curse o' God upon her for an unlucky thief, whoever + had her! It's thrue!—it's too thrue!” he continued—“the man + that had the gun stood on this spot.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a falsity,” said Frank; “it's a damnable falsity. Rody Teague, I + call upon you to spake for me. Didn't you see, when we went out to the + hills, that it was Mike carried the gun, an' not me?” + </p> + <p> + “I did,” replied Rody. “I can swear to that.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” exclaimed Prank, with triumph; “an' you yourself, Darby, saw us, as + I said, makin' up whatsomever little differences there was betwixt us.” + </p> + <p> + “I did,” replied the mendicant, sternly; “but I heard you say, no longer + ago than last night—say!—why you swhore it, man alive!—that + if you wouldn't have Peggy Gartland, he never should. In your own stable I + heard it, an' I was the manes of disappointin' you an' your gang, when you + thought to take away the girl by force. You're well known too often to + carry a fair face when the heart under it is black wid you.” + </p> + <p> + “All I can say is,” observed young Reillaghan, “that if it comes out agin + you that you played him foul, all the earth won't save your life; I'll + have your heart's blood, if I should hang for it a thousand times.” + </p> + <p> + This dialogue was frequently interrupted by the sobbings and clamor of the + women, and the detached conversation of some of the men, who were + communicating to each other their respective opinions upon the melancholy + event which had happened. + </p> + <p> + Darby More now brought Reillaghan's father aside, and thus addressed him:— + </p> + <p> + “Gluntho! (* Listen)—to tell God's thruth, I've sthrong suspicions + that your son was murdhered. This sacred thing that I put the crass upon + people's breast wid, saves people from hangin' an' unnatural deaths. Frank + spoke to me last night, no longer ago, to come up an' mark it an' him + to-morrow. My opinion is, that he intinded to murdher him at that time, + an' wanted to have a protection agin what might happen to him in regard o' + the black deed.” + </p> + <p> + “Can we prove it agin him?” inquired the disconsolate father: “I know + it'll be hard, as there was no one present but themselves; an' if he did + it, surely he'll not confess it.” + </p> + <p> + “We may make him do it maybe,” said the mendicant; “the villain's asily + frightened, an' fond o' charms an' pisthrogues,* an' sich holy things, for + all his wickedness. Don't say a word. We'll take him by, surprise; I'll + call upon him to touch the corpse. Make them women—an' och, it's + hard to expect it—make them stop clappin' their hands an' cryin'; + an' let there be a dead silence, if you can.” + </p> + <p> + During this and some other observations made by Darby, Frank had got the + gun in his possession; and, whilst seeming to be engaged in looking at it, + and examining the lock, he actually contrived to reload it without having + been observed. + </p> + <p> + “Now, neighbors,” said Darby, “hould your tongues for a weeshy start, till + I ax Frank M'Kenna a question or two. Frank M'Kenna, as you hope to meet + God, at Judgment, did you take his life that's lyin' a corpse before us'?” + </p> + <p> + “I did not,” replied M'Kenna; “I could clear myself on all the books in + Europe, that he met his death as I tould you; an' more nor that,” he + added, dropping upon his knees, and uncovering his head, “may I die widout + priest or prayer—widout help, hope, or happiness, upon the spot + where he's now stretched, if I murdhered or shot him.” + </p> + <p> + “I say amin to that,” replied Darby; “Oxis Doxis Glorioxis!—So far, + that's right, if the blood of him's not an you. But there's one thing more + to be done: will you walk over undher the eye of God, an' touch the + corpse? Hould back, neighbors, an' let him come over alone: I an' Owen + Reillaghan will stand here wid the lights, to see if the corpse bleeds.” + </p> + <p> + “Give me, too, a light,” said M'Kenna's father; “my son must get fair + play, anyway: must be a witness myself to it, an' will, too.” + </p> + <p> + “It's but rasonable,” said Owen Reillaghan; “come over beside Darby an' + myself: I'm willin' that your son should stand or fall by what'll happen.” + </p> + <p> + Frank's father, with a taper in his hand, immediately went, with a pale + face and trembling steps, to the place appointed for him beside the + corpse, where he took his stand. + </p> + <p> + When young M'Kenna heard Darby's last question he seemed as if seized by + an inward spasm: the start which he gave, and his gaspings for breath, + were visible to all present. Had he seen the spirit of the murdered man + before him, his horror could not have been greater; for this ceremony had + been considered a most decisive test in cases of suspicion of murder—an + ordeal, indeed, to which few murderers wished to submit themselves. In + addition to this we may observe, that Darby's knowledge of the young man's + character was correct; with all his crimes he was weak-minded and + superstitious. + </p> + <p> + He stood silent for some time after the ordeal had been proposed to him; + his hair became literally erect, with the dread of this formidable + scrutiny, his cheeks turned white, and the cold perspiration fell from him + in large drops. All his strength appeared to have departed from him; he + stood, as if hesitating, and even energy necessary to stand seemed to be + the result of an effort. + </p> + <p> + “Remember,” said Darby, pulling out the large crucifix which was attached + to his heads, “that the eye of God is upon you. If you've committed the + murdher, thrimble; if not, Frank, you've little to fear in touchin' the + corpse.” + </p> + <p> + Frank had not uttered a word; but, leaning himself on the gun, he looked + wildly around him, cast his eyes up to the stormy sky, then turned them + with a dead glare upon the corpse and the crucifix. + </p> + <p> + “Do you confiss the murdher?” said Darby. + </p> + <p> + “Murdher!” rejoined Frank: “no! I confess no murdher: you villain, do you + want to make me guilty;—do you want to make me guilty, you deep + villain?” + </p> + <p> + It seemed as if the current of his thoughts and feelings had taken a new + direction, though it is probable that the excitement which appeared to be + rising within him was only the courage of fear. + </p> + <p> + “You all wish to find me guilty,” he added: “but I'll show you that I'm + not guilty.” + </p> + <p> + He immediately walked towards the corpse, and stooping down, touched the + body with one hand, holding the gun in the other. The interest of that + moment was intense, and all eyes were strained towards the spot. Behind + the corpse, at each shoulder—for the body lay against a small + snow-wreath, in a recumbent position—stood the father of the + deceased and the father of the accused, each wound up by feelings of a + directly opposite character to a pitch of dreadful excitement over them, + in his fantastic dress and white beard, stood the tall mendicant, who held + up his crucifix to Frank, with an awful menace upon his strongly marked + countenance. At a little distance to the left of the body stood other men + who were assembled, having their torches held aloft in their hands, and + their forms bent towards the corpse, their laces indicating expectation, + dread, and horror The female relations of the deceased nearest his + remains, their torches extended in the same direction, their visages + exhibiting the passions of despair and grief in their wildest characters, + but as if arrested by some supernatural object immediately before their + eyes, that produced a new and more awful feeling than grief. When the body + was touched, Frank stood as if himself bound by a spell to the spot. At + length he turned his eyes to the mendicant, who stood silent and + motionless, with the crucifix still extended in his hand. + </p> + <p> + “Are you satisfied now?” said he. + </p> + <p> + “That's wanst,” said the pilgrim: “you're to touch it three times.” + </p> + <p> + Frank hesitated a moment, but immediately stooped again, and touched it + twice in succession; but it remained still and unchanged as before! His + father broke the silence by a fervent ejaculation of thanksgiving to God + for the vindication of his son's character which he had just witnessed. + </p> + <p> + “Now!” exclaimed M'Kenna, in a loud, exulting tone, “you all see that I + did not murdher him!” + </p> + <p> + “You did!” said a voice, which was immediately recognized to be that of + the deceased. + </p> + <p> + M'Kenna shrieked aloud, and immediately fled with his gun towards the + mountains, pursued by Reillaghan's other son. The crowd rushed in towards + the body, whilst sorrow, affright, exultation, and wonder, marked the + extraordinary scene which ensued. + </p> + <p> + “Queen o' Heaven!” exclaimed old M'Kenna, “who could believe this only + they hard it?” + </p> + <p> + “The murdher wouldn't lie?” shrieked out Mrs. Reillaghan—“the + murdher wouldn't lie!—the blood o' my darlin' son spoke it!—his + blood spoke it; or God, or his angel, spoke it for him!” + </p> + <p> + “It's beyant anything ever known!” some exclaimed, “to come back an' tell + the deed upon his murdherer! God presarve us, an' save us, this night! I + wish we wor at home out o' this wild place!” + </p> + <p> + Others said they had heard of such things; but this having happened before + their own eyes, surpassed anything that could be conceived. + </p> + <p> + The mendicant now advanced, and once more mysteriously held up his + crucifix. + </p> + <p> + “Keep silence!” said he, in a solemn, sonorous voice: “Keep silence, I + say, an' kneel I down all o' yez before what I've in my hand. If you want + to know who or what the voice came from, I can tell yez:—it was the + crucifix THAT SPOKE!!” + </p> + <p> + This communication was received with a feeling of devotion too deep for + words. His injunction was instantly complied with: they knelt, and bent + down in worship before it in the mountain wilds. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said he, “little ye know the virtues of that crucifix! It was + consecrated by a friar so holy that it was well known there was but the + shadow of him upon the earth, the other part of him bein' night an' day in + heaven among the archangels. It shows the power of this Crass, any way; an + you may tell your frinds, that I'll sell bades touched wid it to the + faithful at sixpence apiece. They can be put an your padareens as Dicades, + wid a blessin'. Oxis Doxis Glorioxis—Amin! Let us now bear the + corpse home, antil it's dressed and laid out dacently as it ought to be.” + </p> + <p> + The body was then placed upon an easy litter, formed of great-coats + buttoned together, and supported by the strongest men present, who held it + one or two at each corner. In this manner they advanced at a slow pace, + until they reached Owen Reillaghan's house, where they found several of + the country-people assembled, waiting for their return. + </p> + <p> + It was not until the body had been placed in an inner room, where none + were admitted until it should be laid out, that the members of the family + first noticed the prolonged absence of Reillaghan's other son. The moment + it had been alluded to, they were seized with new alarm and consternation. + </p> + <p> + “<i>Hanim an diouol!</i>” said Reillaghan, bitterly, in Irish, “but I + doubt the red-handed villain has cut short the lives of my two brave sons! + I only hope he may stop in the country: I'm not widout friends an' + followers that 'ud think it no sin in a just cause to pay him in his own + coin, an' to take from him an' his a pound o' blood for every ounce of + ours they shed.” + </p> + <p> + A number of his friends instantly volunteered to retrace their way to the + mountains, and search for the other son. “There's little danger of his + life,” said a relation; “it's a short time Frank 'ud stand him + particularly as the gun wasn't charged. We'll go, at any rate, for 'fraid + he might lose himself in the mountains, or walk into some o' the lochs on + his way home. We had as good bring some whiskey wid us, for he may want it + badly.” + </p> + <p> + While they had been speaking, however, the snow began to fall and the wind + to blow in a manner that promised a heavy and violent storm. They + proceeded, notwithstanding, on their search, and on whistling for the dog, + discovered that he was not to be found. + </p> + <p> + “He went wid us to the mountains, I know,” said the former speaker; “an' I + think it likely he'll be found wid Owen, wherever he is. Come, boys, step + out: it's a dismal night, any way, the Lord knows. + </p> + <p> + “Och, och!” And with sorrowful but vigorous steps they went in quest of + the missing brother. + </p> + <p> + Nothing but the preternatural character of the words which Were so + mysteriously pronounced immediately before Owen's pursuit of M'Kenna, + could have prevented that circumstance, together with the flight of the + latter, from exciting greater attention among the crowd. His absence, + however, now that they had time to reflect on it, produced unusual alarm, + not only on account of M'Kenna's bad character, but from the apprehension + of Owen being lost in the mountains. + </p> + <p> + The inextinguishable determination of revenge with which an Irishman + pursues any person who, either directly or indirectly, takes the life of a + near relation, or invades the peace of his domestic affections, was + strongly illustrated by the nature of Owen's pursuit after M'Kenna, + considering the appalling circumstances under which he undertook it. It is + certainly more than probable that M'Kenna, instead of flying would have + defended himself with the loaded gun, had not his superstitious fears been + excited by the words which so mysteriously charged him with the murder. + The direction he accidentally took led both himself and his pursuer into + the wildest recesses of the mountains. The chase was close and desperate, + and certainly might have been fatal to Reillaghan, had M'Kenna thought of + using the gun. His terror, however, exhausted him, and overcame his + presence of mind to such a degree, that so far from using the weapon in + his defence, he threw it aside, in order to gain ground upon his pursuer. + This he did but slowly, and the pursuit was as yet uncertain. At length + Owen found the distance between himself and his brother's murderer + increasing; the night was dark, and he himself feeble and breathless: he + therefore gave over all hope of securing him, and returned to follow those + who had accompanied him to the spot where his brother's body lay. It was + when retracing his path that the nature of his situation occurred to him: + the snow had not began to fall, but the appearance of the sky was strongly + calculated to depress him. + </p> + <p> + Every person knows with what remarkable suddenness snow storms descend. He + had scarcely advanced homewards more than twenty minutes, when the gray + tempest spread its dusky wings over the heavens, and a darker shade + rapidly settled upon the white hills—now becoming indistinct in the + gloom of the air, which was all in commotion, and groaned aloud with the + noise of the advancing storm. When he saw the deep gloom, and felt the + chilling coldness pierce his flesh so bitterly, he turned himself in the + direction which led by the shortest possible line towards his father's + house. He was at this time nearly three miles from any human habitation; + and as he looked into the darkness, his heart began to palpitate with an + alarm almost bordering on hopelessness. His dog, which had, up till this + boding' change, gone on before him, now partook in his master's + apprehensions, and trotted anxiously at his feet. + </p> + <p> + In the meantime the winds howled in a melancholy manner along the + mountains, and carried with them from the upper clouds the rapidly + descending sleet. The storm-current, too, was against him, and as the air + began to work in dark confusion, he felt for the first time how utterly + helpless a thing he was under the fierce tempest in this dreadful + solitude. + </p> + <p> + A length the rushing sound which he first heard in the distance approached + him in all its terrors; and in a short time he was staggering, like a + drunken man, under the incessant drifts which swept over him and about + him. Nothing could exceed the horrors of the atmosphere at this moment. + From the surface of the earth the whirlwinds swept immense snow-clouds + that rose up instantaneously, and shot off along the brows and ravines of + the solitary wild, sometimes descending into the valleys, and again + rushing up the almost perpendicular sides of the mountains, with a speed, + strength, and noise, that mocked at everything possessing life; whilst in + the air the tumult and the darkness continued to deepen in the most awful + manner. The winds seemed to meet from every point of the compass, and the + falling drifts flew backward and forward in every direction; the cold + became intense, and Owen's efforts to advance homewards were beginning to + fail. He was driven about like an autumn leaf, and his dog, which kept + close to him, had nearly equal difficulty in proceeding. No sound but that + of the tempest could now be heard, except the screaming of the birds as + they were tossed on sidewing through the commotion which prevailed. In + this manner was Owen whirled about, till he lost all knowledge of his + local situation, being ignorant whether he advanced towards home or + otherwise, His mouth and eyes were almost filled with driving sleet; + sometimes a' cloud of light sandlike drift would almost bury him, as it + crossed, or followed, or opposed his path; sometimes he would sink to the + middle in a snow-wreath, from which he extricated himself with great + difficulty; and among the many terrors by which he was beset, that of + walking into a lake, or over a precipice, was not the least paralyzing. + Owen was a young man of great personal strength and activity, for the + possession of which, next to his brother, he had been distinguished among + his companions; but he now became totally exhausted; the chase after + M'Kenna, his former exertion, his struggles, his repeated falls, his + powerful attempts to get into the vicinity of life, the desperate strength + he put forth in breaking through the vortex of the whirlwind, all had left + him faint, and completely at the mercy of the elements. + </p> + <p> + The cold sleet scales were now frozen to ice on his cheeks; his clothes + were completely incrusted with the hard snow, which had been beating into + them by the strength of the blast, and his joints were getting stiff and + benumbed. The tumult of the tempest, the whirling of the snow-clouds, and + the thick snow, now falling, and again tossed upwards by sudden gusts to + the sky, deprived him of all power of reflection, and rendered him, though + not altogether blind or deaf, yet incapable of forming any distinct + opinion upon what he saw or heard. Still, actuated by the unconscious + principle of self preservation, he tottered on, cold, feeble, and + breathless, now driven back like a reed by the strong rush of the storm, + or prostrated almost to suffocation under the whirlwinds, that started up + like savage creatures of life about him. + </p> + <p> + During all this time his faithful dog never abandoned him; but his wild + bowlings only heightened the horrors of his situation. When he fell, the + affectionate creature would catch the flap of his coat, or his arm, in his + teeth, and attempt to raise him; and as long as his master had presence of + mind, with the unerring certainty of instinct, he would turn him, when + taking a wrong direction, into that which led homewards. + </p> + <p> + Owen was not, however, reduced to this state without experiencing + sensations of which no language could convey adequate notions. At first he + struggled heroically with the storm; but when utter darkness threw its + impervious shades over the desolation around him, and the fury of the + elements grew so tremendous, all the strong propensities to life became + roused, the convulsive throes of a young heart on the steep of death threw + a wild and corresponding energy into his vigorous frame, and occasioned + him to cling to existence with a tenacity rendered still stronger by the + terrible consciousness of his unprepared state, and the horror of being + plunged into eternity unsupported by the rites of his church, whilst the + crime of attempting to take away human life lay on his soul. Those + domestic affections, too, which in Irishmen are so strong, became excited; + his home, his fireside, the faces of his kindred, already impressed with + affliction for the death of one brother, were conjured up in the powerful + imagery of natural feeling, the fountains of which were opened in his + heart, and his agonizing cry for life rose wildly from the mountain desert + upon the voice of the tempest. Then, indeed, when the gulf of a twofold + death yawned before him, did the struggling spirit send up its shrieking + prayer to heaven with desperate impulse. These struggles, however, as well + as those of the body, became gradually weaker as the storm tossed him + about, and with the chill of its breath withered him into total + helplessness. He reeled on, stiff and insensible, without knowing whither + he went, falling with every blast, and possessing scarcely any faculty of + life except mere animation. + </p> + <p> + After about an hour, however, the storm subsided, and the clouds broke + away into light, fleecy columns before the wind; the air, too, became less + cold, and the face of nature more visible. The driving sleet and hard, + granular snow now ceased to fall; but were succeeded by large feathery + flakes, that descended slowly upon the still air. + </p> + <p> + Had this trying scene lasted much longer, Owen must soon have been a + stiffened corpse. The child-like strength, however, which just enabled him + to bear up without sinking in despair to die, now supported him when there + was less demand for energy. The dog, too, by rubbing itself against him, + and licking his face, enabled him, by a last effort, to recollect himself, + so as to have a glimmering perception of his situation. His confidence + returned, and with a greater degree of strength. He shook, as well as he + could, the snow from his 'clothes, where it had accumulated heavily, and + felt himself able to proceed, slowly, it is true, towards his father's + house, which he had nearly reached when he met his friends, who were once: + more hurrying out to the mountains in quest of him, having been compelled + to return in consequence of the storm, when they had I first set out. The + whiskey, their companionship, and their assistance soon revived him. One + or two were despatched home before them, to apprise the afflicted family + of his safety; and the intelligence was hailed with melancholy joy by the + Reillaghans. A faint light played for a moment over the gloom Which had + settled among them, but it was brief; for on ascertaining the safety of + their second son, their grief rushed back with renewed violence, and + nothing could be heard but the voice of sorrow and affliction. + </p> + <p> + Darby More, who had assumed the control of the family, did everything in + his power to console them; his efforts, however, were viewed with a + feeling little short of indignation. + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” said the afflicted mother, “you have, undher God, in some sense, + my fair son's death to account for. You had a dhrame, but you wouldn't + tell it to us. If you had, my boy might be livin' this day, for it would + be asy for him to be an his guard.” + </p> + <p> + “Musha, poor woman,” replied Darby, “sure you don't know, you afflicted + crathur, what you're spakin' about. Tell my dhrame! Why, thin, it's myself + towld it to him from beginning to ind, and that whin we wor goin' to mass + this day itself. I desired him, on the paril of his life, not to go out a + tracin' or toards the mountains, good or bad.” + </p> + <p> + “You said you had a prayer that 'ud keep it back,” observed the mother, + “an' why didn't you say it?” + </p> + <p> + “I did say it,” replied Darby, “an' that afore a bit crassed my throath + this mornin'; but, you see, he broke his promise of not goin' to the + mountains, an' that was what made the dhrame come thrue.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well, Darby, I beg your pardon, an' God's pardon, for judgin' you + in the wrong. Oh, wurrah sthrue! my brave son, is it there you're lyin' + wid us, avourneen machree!” and she again renewed her grief. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, thin, I'm sure I forgive you,” said Darby: “but keep your grief in + for a start, till I say the <i>De Prowhinjis</i> over him, for the pace + an' repose of his sowl. Kneel down all of yez.” + </p> + <p> + He repeated this prayer in language which it would require one of Edward + Irving's adepts in the Unknown Tongues to interpret. When he had recited + about half of it, Owen, and those who had gone to seek him, entered the + house, and after the example of the others, reverently knelt down until he + finished it. + </p> + <p> + Owen's appearance once more renewed their grief. The body of his brother + had been removed to a bed beyond the fire in the kitchen; and when Owen + looked upon the features of his beloved companion, he approached, and + stooped down to kiss his lips. He was still too feeble, however, to bend + by his own strength; and it is also probable that the warm air of the + house relaxed him. Be this, however, as it may, he fell forward, but + supported himself by his hands, which were placed upon the body; a deep + groan was heard, and the apparently dead man opened his eyes, and feebly + exclaimed—“A dhrink? a dhrink!” + </p> + <p> + Darby More, had, on concluding the <i>De profundus</i>, seated himself + beside the bed on which Mike lay; but on hearing the groan, and the call + for drink, he leaped rapidly to: his legs and exclaimed, “My sowl to hell + an' the divil, Owen Reillaghan, but your son's alive!! Off wid two or + three of yez, as the divil can dhrive yez, for the priest an' docthor!! + Off wid yez! ye damned spalpeens, aren't ye near there by this! Give us my + cant! Are yez gone? Oh, by this and by that—hell—eh—aren't + yez—” But ere he could finish the sentence, they had set chit. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” he exclaimed in a voice whose tremendous tones were strongly at + variance with his own injunctions—“Now, neighbors, d—n yez, + keep silence. Mrs. Reillaghan, get a bottle of whiskey an' a mug o' + wather. Make haste. Hanim an diouol! don't be all night!” + </p> + <p> + The poor mother, however, could not stir; the unexpected revulsion of + feeling which she had so suddenly experienced was more than she could + sustain. A long fainting-fit! was the consequence, and Darby's commands + were obeyed by the wife of a friendly neighbor. + </p> + <p> + The mendicant immediately wetted Mike's lips, and poured some spirits, + copiously diluted with water, down his throat; after which he held the + whiskey-bottle, like a connoisseur, between himself and the light. “I + hope,” said he, “this whiskey is the raal crathur.” He put the bottle to + his mouth as he spoke, and on holding it a second time before his eye, he + shook his head complacently—“Ay,” said he, “if anything could bring + the dead back to this world, my sowl to glory, but that would. Oh, thin, + it would give the dead life, sure enough!” He put it once more to his + lips, from which it was not separated without relinquishing a considerable + portion of its contents. + </p> + <p> + “Dhea Grashthias!” he exclaimed; “throth, I find myself, the betther o' + that sup, in regard that it's good for this touch 'o' configuration that + I'm throubled wid inwardly! Doxis Doxis Glorioxis? Amin!” These words he + spoke in a low, placid voice, lest the wounded man might be discomposed by + his observations. + </p> + <p> + The rapidity with which the account of Mike's restoration to life spread + among the neighbors was surprising. Those who had gone for the priest and + doctor communicated to all they met, and these again to others: that in a + short time the house was surrounded by great numbers of their + acquaintances, all anxious to hear the particulars more minutely. + </p> + <p> + Darby, who never omitted an opportunity of impressing the people with a + belief in his own sanctity, and in that of his crucifix came out among + them, and answered their inquiries by a solemn shake of his head, and a + mysterious indication of his finger to the crucifix, but said nothing + more. This was enough. The murmur of reverence and wonder spread among + them, and ere long there were few present who did not believe that + Reillaghan had been restored to life by a touch of Darby's crucifix; an + opinion which is not wholly exploded until this day. + </p> + <p> + Peggy Gartland, who fortunately had not heard the report of her lover's + death until it was contradicted by the account of his revival, now + entered, and by her pale countenance betrayed strong symptoms of affection + and sympathy. She sat by his side, gazing mournfully on his features, and + with difficulty suppressed her tears. + </p> + <p> + For some time before her arrival, the mother and sisters of Mike had been + removed to another room, lest the tumultuous expression of their mingled + joy and sorrow might disturb him. The fair, artless girl, although + satisfied that he still lived, entertained no hopes of his recovery; but + she ventured, in a low, trembling voice, to inquire from Darby some + particulars of the melancholy transaction which was likely to deprive her + of her betrothed husband. + </p> + <p> + “Where did the shot sthrike him, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “Clane through the body, avillish; jist where Captain Cramer was shot at + the battle o' Bunker's Hill, where he lay as good as dead for twelve + hours, and was near bein' berried a corp, an' him alive all the time, only + that as they were pullin' him off o' the cart, he gev a shout, an' thin, a + colleen dhas, they began to think he might be livin' still. Sure enough, + he was, too, an' lived successfully, till he died wid dhrinkin' brandy, as + a cure for the gout; the Lord be praised!” + </p> + <p> + “Where's the villain, Darby?” + </p> + <p> + “He's in the mountains, no doubt, where he had thim to fight wid that's a + match for him—God, an' the dark storm that fell awhile agone. + They'll pay him, never fear, for his thrachery to the noble boy that + chastised him for your sake, acushla oge! (* my young pulse) sthrong was + your hand, a Veehal, an' ginerous was your affectionate heart; an' well + you loved the fair girl that's sitting beside you! Throth, Peggy, my + heart's black with sarrow about the darlin' young man. Still, life's in + him; an' while there's life there's hope; glory be to God!” + </p> + <p> + The eulogium of the pilgrim, who was, in truth, much attached to Mike, + moved the heart of the affectionate girl, whose love and sympathy were + pure as the dew on the grass-blade, and now as easily affected by the + slightest touch. She remained silent for a time, but secretly glided her + hand towards that of her lover, which she clasped in hers, and by a gentle + and timid pressure, strove to intimate to him that she was beside him. + Long, but unavailing, was the struggle to repress her sorrow; her bosom + heaved; she gave two or three loud sobs, and burst into tears and + lamentations. + </p> + <p> + “Don't cry, avourneen,” whispered Darby—“Don't cry; I'll warrant you + that Darby More will ate share of your weddin' dinner an' his, yit. + There's a small taste of color comin' to his face, which, I think, undher + God, is owin' to my touchin' him wid the cruciwhix. Don't cry, a colleen, + he'll get over it an' more than it, yit, a colleen bawn!” + </p> + <p> + Darby then hurried her into the room where Mike's mother and sisters were. + On entering she threw herself into the arms of the former, laid her face + on her bosom, and wept bitterly. This renewed the mother's grief: she + clasped the interesting girl in a sorrowful embrace; so did his sisters. + They threw themselves into each other's arms, and poured forth those + touching, but wild bursts of pathetic language, which are always heard + when the heart is struck by some desolating calamity. + </p> + <p> + “Husht!” said a neighboring man who was present; “husht! it's a shame for + yez, an' the boy not dead yit.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm not ashamed,” said Peggy: “why should I be ashamed of bein' sarry for + the likes of Mike Reillaghan? Where was his aquil? Wasn't all hearts upon + him? Didn't the very poor on the road bless him whin he passed? Who ever + had a bad word agin him, but the villain that murdhered him? Murdhered + him! Heaven above! an' why? For my sake! For my sake the pride of the + parish is laid low! Ashamed! Is it for cryin' for my betrothed husband, + that was sworn to me, an' I to him, before the eye of God above us? This + day week I was to be his bride; an' now—now—Oh, Vread + Reillaghan, take me to you! Let me go to his mother! My heart's broke, + Vread Reillaghan! Let me go to her: nobody's grief for him is like ours. + You're his mother, an' I'm his wife in the sight o' God. Proud was I out + of him: my eyes brightened when they seen him, an' my heart got light when + I heard his voice; an' now, what's afore me?—what's afore me but + sorrowful days an' a broken heart!” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Reillaghan placed her tenderly and affectionately beside her, on the + bed whereon she herself sat. With the corner of her handkerchief she wiped + the tears from the weeping girl, although her own flowed fast. Her + daughters, also, gathered about her, and in language of the most endearing + kind, endeavored to soothe and console her. + </p> + <p> + “He may live yet, Peggy, avourheen,” said his mother; “my brave and noble + son may live yet, an' you may be both,happy! Don't be cryin' so much, <i>asthore + galh machree</i> (* The beloved white (girl) of my heart); sure he's in + the hands o' God avourneen; an' your young heart won't be broke, I hope. + Och, the Lord pity her young feelins!” exclaimed the mother affected even + by the consolation she herself offered to the betrothed bride of her son: + “is it any whundher she'd sink undher sich a blow! for, sure enough, where + was the likes of him? No, asthore; it's no wondher—it's no wondher! + lonesome will your heart be widout him; for I know what he'd feel if a + hair of your head was injured.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I know it—I know it! There was music in his voice, an' grah + and. kindness to every crathur on God's earth; but to me—to me—oh, + no one knew his love to me, but myself an' God. Oh, if I was dead, that I + couldn't feel this, or if my life could save his! Why didn't the villain,—the + black villain, wid God's curse upon him—why didn't he shoot me, thin + I could never be Mike's wife, an' his hand o' murdher might be satisfied? + If he had, I wouldn't feel as I do. Ay! the warmest, an' the best, an' the + dearest blood of my heart, I could shed for him. That heart was his, an' + he had a right to it. Our love wasn't of yistherday: afore the links of my + hair came to my showldhers I loved him, an' thought of him; an many a time + he tould me that I was his first! God knows he was my first, an' he will + be my last, let him live or die.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, but, Peggy achora,” said his sister, “maybe it's sinful to be + cryin' this way, an' he not dead.” + </p> + <p> + “God forgive me, if it's a sin,” replied Peggy; “I'd not wish to do + anything sinful or displasin' to God; an' I'll sthrive to keep down my + grief: I will, as well as I can.” + </p> + <p> + She put her hands on her face, and by all effort of firmness, subdued the + tone of her grief to a low, continuous murmur of sorrow. + </p> + <p> + “An' along wid that,” said the sister, “maybe the noise is disturbin' him. + Darby put us all out o' the kitchen to have pace an' quietness about him.” + </p> + <p> + “An' 'twas well thought o' Darby,” she replied; “an' may the blessin' o' + God rest upon him for it! A male's mate or a nights lodgin' he'll never + want under my father's roof for that goodness to him. I'll be quiet.” + </p> + <p> + There was now a short pause, during which those in the room heard a smack, + accompanied by the words, “Dheah. Grashthias! throth I'm the betther o' + that sup, so I am. Nothin' keeps this thief of a configuration down but + it. Dheah Grashthias for that! Oh, thin, this is the stuff! It warms the + body to the top o' the nails!” + </p> + <p> + “Don't spare it, Darby,” said old Reillaghan, “if it does you good.” + </p> + <p> + “Avourneen,” said Darby, “it's only what gives me a little relief I ever + take, jist by way of cure, for it's the only thing does me good, when I am + this-a-way.” + </p> + <p> + Several persons in the neighborhood were, in the mean time, flocking to + Reillaghan's house. A worthy man, accompanied by his wife, entered as the + pilgrim had concluded. The woman, in accordance with the custom of the + country, raised the Irish cry, in a loud melancholy wail, that might be + heard at a great distance. + </p> + <p> + Darby, who prided himself on maintaining silence, could not preserve the + consistency of his character upon this occasion, any more than on that of + Mike's recent symptoms of life. + </p> + <p> + “Your sowl to the divil, you faggot!” he exclaimed, “what do you mane? The + divil whip the tongue out o' you! are you going to come here only to + disturb the boy that's not dead yet? Get out o' this, an' be asy wid your + skhreechin', or by the crass that died for us, only you're a woman, I'd + tumble you wid a lick o' my cant. Keep asy, you vagrant, an' the dacent + boy not dead yet. Hell bellows you, what do you mane?” + </p> + <p> + “Not dead!” exclaimed the woman, with her body bent in the proper + attitude, her hands extended, and the crying face turned with amazement to + Darby. “Not dead! Wurrah, man alive, isn't he murdhered?” + </p> + <p> + “Hell resave the matther for that!” replied Darby. “I tell you he's livin' + an' will live I hope, barrin' your skirlin' dhrives the life that's in him + out of him. Go into the room there to the women, an' make yourself scarce + out o' this, or by the padareens about me, I'll malivogue you.” + </p> + <p> + “We can't be angry wid the dacent woman,” observed old Reillaghan, “in + regard that she came to show her friendship and respect.” + </p> + <p> + “I'd be angry wid St. Pettier,” said Darby, “an' 'ud not scruple to give + him a lick o' my c—— Lord presarve us! what was I goin' o say! + Why, throth, I believe the little wits I had are all gone a shaughran! I + must fast a Friday or two for the same words agin St. Pether. Oxis Doxis + Glorioxis—Amin.” + </p> + <p> + Hope is strong in love and in life. Peggy, now that grief had eased her + heart of its load of accumulated sorrow, began to reflect upon Darby's + anecdote of Captain Cramer, which she related to those about her. They all + rejoiced to hear that it was possible to be wounded so severely and live. + They also consoled and supported each other, and expressed their trust + that Mike might also recover. The opinion of the doctor was waited for + with such anxiety as a felon feels when the foreman of the jury hands down + the verdict which consigns him to life or death. + </p> + <p> + Whether Darby's prescription was the result of chance or sagacity we know + not. We are bound, however, to declare that Reillaghan's strength was in + some degree restored, although the pain he suffered amounted to torture. + The surgeon (who was also a physician, and, moreover, supplied his own + medicines) and the priest, as they lived in the same town, both arrived + together. The latter administered the rites of his church to him; and the + former, who was a skilful man, left nothing undone to accomplish his + restoration to health. He had been shot through the body with a bullet—a + circumstance which was not known until the arrival of the surgeon. This + gentlemen expressed much astonishment at his surviving the wound, but said + that circumstances of a similar nature had occurred, particularly on the + field of battle, although he admitted that they were few. + </p> + <p> + Darby, however, who resolved to have something like a decided opinion from + him, without at all considering whether such a thing was possible, pressed + him strongly upon the point. + </p> + <p> + “Arrah, blur-an-age, Docthor Swither, say one thing or other. Is he to + live or die? Plain talk, Docthor, is all we want, an' no <i>feasthalagh</i> + (* nonsense).” + </p> + <p> + “The bullet, I am inclined to think,” replied the Doctor, “must either not + have touched a vital part, or touched it only slightly. I have known cases + similar, it is true; but it is impossible for me to pronounce a decisive + opinion upon him just now.” + </p> + <p> + “The divil resave the <i>yarrib</i>* ever I'll gather for you agin, so + long as my name's Darby More, except you say either 'life' or 'death,'” + said Darby, who forgot his character of sanctity altogether. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Herb-Men of Darby's cast were often in the habit of + collecting rare medicinal plants for the apothecaries; + and not bad botanists some of them were. +</pre> + <p> + “Darby, achora,” said Mrs. Reillaghan, “don't crass the gintleman, an' him + sthrivin' to do his best. Here, Paddy Gormly, bring some wather till the + docthor washes his hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Darby,” replied the Doctor, to whom he was well known, “you are a good + herbalist, but even although you should not serve me as usual in that + capacity, yet I cannot say exactly either life or death. The case is too + critical a one; but I do not despair, Darby, if that will satisfy you.” + </p> + <p> + “More power to you, Docthor, achora. Hell-an-age, where's that bottle? + bring it here. Thank you, Vread. Docthor, here's wishin' you all + happiness, an' may you set Mike on his legs wanst more! See, Docthor—see, + man alive—look at this purty girl here, wid her wet cheeks; give her + some hope, ahagur, if you can; keep the crathur's spirits up, an' I'll + furnish you wid every yarrib in Europe, from the nettle to the rose.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't despair, my good girl,” said the Doctor, addressing Peggy. “I hope, + I trust, that he may recover; but he must be kept easy and quiet.” + </p> + <p> + “May the blessing of God, sir, light down on you for the same words,” + replied Peggy, in a voice tremulous, with gratitude and joy. + </p> + <p> + “Are you done wid him, Docthor?” said old Reillaghan. + </p> + <p> + “At present,” replied the Doctor, “I can do nothing more for him; but I + shall see him early to-morrow morning.” + </p> + <p> + “Bekase, sir,” continued the worthy man, “here's Darby More, who's + afflicted with a comflamboration, or some sich thing, inwardly, an' if you + should ase him, sir, I'd pay the damages, whatever they might be.” + </p> + <p> + The Doctor smiled slightly. “Darby's complaint,” said he, “is beyond my + practice; there is but one cure for it, and that is, if I have any skill, + a little of what's in the bottle here, taken, as our prescriptions + sometimes say, 'when the patient is inclined for it.'” + </p> + <p> + “By my sou—sanctity, Docthor,” said Darby, “you're a man of skill, + any how, an' that's well known, sir. Nothin', as Father Hoolaghan says, + but the sup of whiskey does this sarra of a configuration good. It rises + the wind off o' my stomach, Docthor!” + </p> + <p> + “It does, Darby, it does. Now let all be peace and quietness,” continued + the Doctor: “take away a great part of this fire, and don't attempt to + remove him to any other bed until I desire you. I shall call again + tomorrow morning early.” + </p> + <p> + The Doctor's attention to his patient was unremitting; everything that + human skill, joined to long experience and natural talent, could do to + restore the young man to his family was done; and in the course of a few + weeks the friends of Keillaghan had the satisfaction of seeing him + completely out of danger. + </p> + <p> + Mike declared, after his recovery, that though incapable of motion on the + mountains, he was not altogether insensible to what passed around him. The + loud tones of their conversation he could hear. The oath which young + M'Kenna uttered in a voice so wild and exalted, fell clearly on his ear, + and he endeavored to contradict it, in order that he might be secured and + punished in the event of his death. He also said; that the pain he + suffered in the act of being conveyed home, occasioned him to groan + feebly; but that the sobs, and cries, and loud conversation of those who + surrounded him, prevented his moans from being heard. It is probable, + after all, that were it not for the accidental fall of Owen upon his body, + he might not have survived the wound, inasmuch as the medical skill, which + contributed to restore him, would not have been called in. + </p> + <p> + Though old Frank M'Kenna and his family felt an oppressive load of misery + taken off their hearts by the prospect of Reillaghan's recovery, yet it + was impossible for them to be insensible to the fate of their son, knowing + as they did, that he must have been out among the mountains during the + storm. His unhappy mother and Rody sat up the whole night, expecting his + return, but morning arrived without bringing him home. For six days + afterwards the search for him was general and strict; his friends and + neighbors traversed the mountain wastes until they left scarcely an acre + of them unexplored. On the sixth day there came a thaw, and towards the + close of the seventh he was found a “stiffened corpse,” <i>upon the very + spot where he had shot his rival</i>, and on which he had challenged the + Almighty to stretch him in death, without priest or prayer, if he were + guilty of the crime with which he had been charged. He was found lying + with a, circle drawn round him, his head pillowed upon the innocent blood + which he had shed with the intention of murder, and a bloody cross marked + upon his breast and forehead. It was thought that in the dread of + approaching death he had formed it with his hand, which came accidentally + in contact with the blood that lay in clots about him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/page886.jpg" + alt="Page 886-- Upon the Very Spot Where he Had Shot His Rival " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + The manner of his death excited a profound and wholesome feeling among the + people, with respect to the crime which he attempted to commit. The + circumstances attending it, and his oath upon the spot where he shot + Reillaghan, are still spoken of by the fathers of the neighboring + villages, and even by some who were present at the search for his body, it + was also doubly remarkable on account of a case of spectral illusion which + it produced, and which was ascribed to the effect of M'Kenna's + supernatural appearance at the time. The daughter of a herdsman in the + mountains was strongly affected by the spectacle of his dead body borne + past her father's door. In about a fortnight afterwards she assured her + family that he appeared to her. She saw the apparition, in the beginning, + only at night; but ere long it ventured, as she imagined, to appear in + day-light. Many imaginary conversations took place between them; and the + fact of the peasantry flocking to the herd's house to satisfy themselves + as to the truth of the rumor, is yet well remembered in the parish. It, + was also affirmed, that as the funeral of M'Kenna passed to the + churchyard, a hare crossed it, which some one present struck on the side + with a stone. The hare, says the tradition, was not injured, but the sound + of the stroke resembled that produced on striking an empty barrel. + </p> + <p> + We have nearly wound up our story, in which we have feebly endeavored to + illustrate scenes that were, some time ago, not unusual in Irish life. + There is little more to be added, except that Mike Reillaghan almost + miraculously recovered; that he and Peggy Gartland were happily married, + and that Darby More lost his character as a dreamer in that parish, Mike, + with whom, however, he still continued a favorite, used frequently to + allude to the speaking crucifix, the dream aforesaid, and his bit of + fiction, in assuring his mother that he had dissuaded him against + “tracing” on that eventful day. + </p> + <p> + “Well, avourneen,” Darby would exclaim, “the holiest of us has our + failins; but, in throth, the truth of it is, that myself didn't know what + I was sayin', I was so <i>through other</i> (* agitated); for I renumber + that I was badly afflicted with this thief of a configuration inwardly at + the time. That, you see, and your own throubles, put my mind ashanghran + for 'a start. But, upon my sanctity,—an' sure that's a great oath + wid me—only for the Holy Carol you bought from me the night before, + an' above all touchin' you wid the blessed Cruciwhix, you'd never a' got + over the same accident. Oh, you may smile an' shake your head, but it's + thruth whether or not! Glory be to God!” + </p> + <p> + The priest of the parish, on ascertaining correctly the incidents + mentioned in this sketch, determined to deprive the people of at least one + pretext for their follies. He represented the abuses connected with such a + ceremony to the bishop; and from that night to the present time, the + inhabitants of Kilnaheery never had, in their own parish, an opportunity + of hearing a Midnight Mass. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE DONAGH; OR, THE HORSE STEALERS. + </h2> + <p> + Carnmore, one of those small villages that are to be found in the + outskirts of many parishes in Ireland, whose distinct boundaries are lost + in the contiguous mountain-wastes, was situated at the foot of a deep + gorge or pass, overhung by two bleak hills, from the naked sides of which + the storm swept over it, without discomposing the peaceful little nook of + cabins that stood below. About a furlong farther down were two or three + farm-houses, inhabited by a family named Cassidy, men of simple, + inoffensive manners, and considerable wealth. They were, however, acute + and wise in their generation; intelligent cattle-dealers, on whom it would + have been a matter of some difficulty to impose an unsound horse, or a cow + older than was intimated by her horn-rings, even when conscientiously + dressed up for sale by the ingenious aid of the file or burning-iron. + Between their houses and the hamlet rose a conical pile of rocks, loosely + leaped together, from which the place took its name of Carnmore. + </p> + <p> + About three years before the time of this story, there came two men with + their families to reside in the upper village, and the house which they + chose as a residence was one at some distance from those which composed + the little group we have just been describing. They said their name was + Meehan, although the general report went, that this was not true; that the + name was an assumed one, and that some dark mystery, which none could + penetrate, shrouded their history and character. They were certainly + remarkable men. The elder, named Anthony, was a dark, black-browed person, + stern in his manner, and atrociously cruel in his disposition. His form + was Herculean, his bones strong and hard as iron, and his sinews stood out + in undeniable evidence of a life hitherto spent in severe toil and + exertion, to bear which he appeared to an amazing degree capable. His + brother Denis was a small man, less savage and daring in his character, + and consequently more vacillating and cautious than Anthony; for the + points in which he resembled him were superinduced upon his natural + disposition by the close connection that subsisted between them, and by + the identity of their former pursuits in life, which, beyond doubt, had + been such as could not bear investigation. + </p> + <p> + The old proverb of “birds of a feather flock together,” is certainly a + true one, and in this case it was once more verified. Before the arrival + of these men in the village, there had been two or three bad characters in + the neighborhood, whose delinquencies were pretty well known. With these + persons the strangers, by that sympathy which assimilates with congenial + good or evil, soon became acquainted; and although their intimacy was as + secret and cautious as possible, still it had been observed, and was + known, for they had frequently been seen skulking together at daybreak, or + in the dusk of evening. + </p> + <p> + It is unnecessary to say that Meehan and his brother did not mingle much + in the society of Carnmore. In fact, the villagers and they mutually + avoided each other. A mere return of the common phrases of salutation was + generally the most that passed between them; they never entered into that + familiarity which leads to mutual intercourse, and justifies one neighbor + in freely entering the cabin of another, to spend a winter's night, or a + summer's evening, in amusing conversation. Few had ever been in the house + of the Meehans since it became theirs; nor were the means of their + subsistence known. They led an idle life, had no scarcity of food, were + decently clothed, and never wanted money; circumstances which occasioned + no small degree of conjecture in Carnmore and its vicinity. + </p> + <p> + Some said they lived by theft; others that they were coiners; and there + were many who imagined, from the diabolical countenance of the older + brother, that he had sold himself to the devil, who, they affirmed, set + his mark upon him, and was his paymaster. Upon this hypothesis several + were ready to prove that he had neither breath nor shadow; they had seen + him, they said, standing under a hedge-row of elder—that unholy tree + which furnished wood for the cross, and on which Judas hanged himself—yet, + although it was noon-day in the month of July, his person threw out no + shadow. Worthy souls! because the man stood in the shade at the time. But + with these simple explanations Superstition had nothing to do, although we + are bound in justice to the reverend old lady to affirm that she was kept + exceedingly busy in Carnmore. If a man had a sick cow, she was elf-shot; + if his child became consumptive, it had been overlooked, or received a + blast from the fairies; if the whooping-cough was rife, all the afflicted + children were put three times under an ass; or when they happened to have + the “mumps,” were led, before sunrise to a south-running stream, with a + halter hanging about their necks, under an obligation of silence during + the ceremony In short, there could not possibly be a more superstitious + spot than that which these men of mystery had selected for their + residence. Another circumstance which caused the people to look upon them + with additional dread, was their neglect of mass on Sundays and holydays, + though they avowed themselves Roman Catholics. They did not, it is true, + join in the dances, drinking-matches, football, and other sports with + which the Carnmore folk celebrated the Lord's day; but they scrupled not, + on the other hand, to mend their garden-ditch or mould a row of cabbages + on the Sabbath—a circumstance, for which two or three of the + Carnmore boys were, one Sunday evening when tipsy, well-nigh chastising + them. Their usual manner, however, of spending that day was by sauntering + lazily about the fields, or stretching themselves supinely on the sunny + side of the hedges, their arms folded on their bosoms, and their hats + lying over their faces to keep off the sun. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, loss of property was becoming quite common in the + neighborhood. Sheep were stolen from the farmers, and cows and horses from + the more extensive graziers in the parish. The complaints against the + authors of these depredations were loud and incessant: watches were set, + combinations for mutual security formed, and subscriptions to a + considerable amount entered into, with a hope of being able, by the + temptation of a large reward, to work upon the weakness or cupidity of + some accomplice to betray the gang of villains who infested the + neighborhood. All, however, was in vain; every week brought some new act + of plunder to light, perpetrated upon such unsuspecting persons as had + hitherto escaped the notice of the robbers; but no trace could be + discovered of the perpetrators. Although theft had from time to time been + committed upon a small scale before the arrival of the Meehans in the + village, yet it was undeniable that since that period the instances not + only multiplied, but became of a more daring and extensive description. + They arose in a gradual scale, from the henroost to the stable; and with + such ability were they planned and executed, that the people, who in every + instance identified Meehan and his brother with them, began to believe and + hint that, in consequence of their compact with the devil, they had power + to render themselves invisible. Common Fame, who can best treat such + subjects, took up this, and never laid it aside until, by narrating + several exploits which Meehan the elder was said to have performed in + other parts of the kingdom, she wound it up by roundly informing the + Carnmorians, that, having been once taken prisoner for murder, he was + caught by the leg, when half through a hedge, but that; being most + wickedly determined to save his neck, he left the leg with the officer who + took him, shouting out that it was a new species of leg-bail; and yet he + moved away with surprising speed, upon two of as good legs as any man in + his majesty's dominions might wish to walk off upon, from the insinuating + advances of a bailiff or a constable! + </p> + <p> + The family of the Meehans consisted of their wives and three children, two + boys and a girl; the former were the offspring of the younger brother, and + the latter of Anthony. It has been observed, with truth and justice, that + there is no man, how hardened and diabolical soever in his natural temper, + who does not exhibit to some particular object a peculiar species of + affection. Such a man was Anthony Meehan. That sullen hatred which he bore + to human society, and that inherent depravity of heart which left the + trail of vice and crime upon his footsteps, were flung off his character + when he addressed his daughter Anne. To him her voice was like music; to + her he was not the reckless villain, treacherous and cruel, which the + helpless and unsuspecting found him; but a parent kind and indulgent as + ever pressed an only and beloved daughter to his bosom. Anne was handsome: + had she been born and educated in an elevated rank in society, she would + have been softened by the polish and luxury of life into perfect beauty: + she was, however, utterly without education. As Anne experienced from her + father no unnatural cruelty, no harshness, nor even indifference, she + consequently loved him in return; for she knew that tenderness from such a + man was a proof of parental love rarely to be found in life. Perhaps she + loved not her father the less on perceiving that he was proscribed by the + world; a circumstance which might also have enhanced in his eyes the + affection she bore him. When Meehan came to Carnmore, she was sixteen; + and, as that was three years before the incident occurred on which we have + founded this narrative, the reader may now suppose her to be about + nineteen; an interesting country girl, as to person, but with a mind + completely neglected, yet remarkable for an uncommon stock of good nature + and credulity. + </p> + <p> + About the hour of eleven o'clock, one winter's night in the beginning of + December, Meehan and his brother sat moodily at their hearth. The fire was + of peat which had recently been put down, and, from between the turf, the + ruddy blaze was shooting out in those little tongues and, gusts of sober + light, which throw around the rural hearth one of those charms which make + up the felicity of domestic life. The night was stormy, and the wind + moaned and howled along the dark hills beneath which the cottage stood. + Every object in the house was shrouded in a mellow shade, which afforded + to the eye no clear outline, except around the hearth alone, where the + light brightened into a golden hue, giving the idea of calmness and peace. + Anthony Meehan sat on one side of it, and his daughter opposite him, + knitting: before the fire sat Denis, drawing shapes in the ashes for his + own amusement. + </p> + <p> + “Bless me,” said he, “how sthrange it is!” + </p> + <p> + “What is?” inquired Anthony, in his deep and grating tones. + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, it is sthrange!” continued the other, who, despite of the + severity of his brother, was remarkably superstitious—“a coffin I + made in the ashes three times runnin'! Isn't it very quare, Anne?” he + added, addressing the niece. + </p> + <p> + “Sthrange enough, of a sartinty,” she replied, being unwilling to express + before her father the alarm which the incident, slight as it was, created + in her mind; for she, like her uncle, was subject to such ridiculous + influences. “How did it happen, uncle?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, no way in life, Anne; only, as I was thryin' to make a shoe, + it turned out a coffin on my hands. I thin smoothed the ashes, and began + agin, an' sorra bit of it but was a coffin still. Well, says I, I'll give + you another chance,—here goes one more;—an', as sure as gun's + iron, it was a coffin the third time. Heaven be about us, it's odd + enough!” + </p> + <p> + “It would be little matther you were nailed down in a coffin,” replied + Anthony, fiercely; “the world would have little loss. What a pitiful + cowardly rascal you are! Afraid o' your own shadow afther the 'sun goes + down, except I'm at your elbow! Can't you dhrive all them palavers out o' + your head? Didn't the sargint tell us, an' prove to us, the time we broke + the guardhouse, an' took Frinch lave o' the ridgment for good, that the + whole o' that, an' more along wid it, is all priestcraft?” + </p> + <p> + “I remimber he did, sure enough: I dunna where the same sargint is now, + Tony? About no good, any way, I'll be bail. Howsomever, in regard o' that, + why doesn't yourself give up fastin' from the mate of a Friday?” + </p> + <p> + “Do you want me to sthretch you on the hearth?” replied the savage, whilst + his eyes kindled into fury, and his grim visage darkened into a satanic + expression. “I'll tache you to be puttin' me through my catechiz about + aitin' mate. I may manage that as I plase; it comes at first-cost, anyhow: + but no cross-questions to me about it, if you regard your health!” + </p> + <p> + “I must say for you,” replied Denis, reproachfully, “that you're a good + warrant to put the health astray upon us of an odd start: we're not come + to this time o' day widout carryin' somethin' to remimber you by. For my + own part, Tony, I don't like such tokens; an' moreover, I wish you had + resaved a thrifle o' larnin', espishily in the writin' line; for whenever + we have any difference, you're so ready to prove your opinion by settin' + your mark upon me, that I'd rather, fifty times over, you could write it + with pen an' ink.” + </p> + <p> + “My father will give that up, uncle,” said the niece; “it's bad for any + body to be fightin', but worst of all for brothers, that ought to live in + peace and kindness. Won't you, father?” + </p> + <p> + “Maybe I will, dear, some o' these days, on your account, Anne; but you + must get this creature of an uncle of yours, to let me alone, an' not be + aggravatin' me with his folly. As for your mother, she's worse; her + tongue's sharp enough to skin a flint, and a batin' a day has little + effect on her.” + </p> + <p> + Anne sighed, for she knew how long an irreligious life, and the infamous + society with which, as her father's wife, her mother was compelled to + mingle, had degraded her. + </p> + <p> + “Well, but, father, you don't set her a good example yourself,” said Anne; + “and if she scoulds and drinks now, you know she was a different woman + when you got her. You allow this yourself; and the crathur, the dhrunkest + time she is, doesn't she cry bittherly, remimberin' what she has been. + Instead of one batin' a day, father, thry no batin' a day, an' maybe it + 'ill turn out betther than thump-in' an' smashin' her as you do.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, thin, there's truth and sinse in what the girl says, Tony,” observed + Denis. + </p> + <p> + “Come,” replied Anthony, “whatever she may say I'll suffer none of your + interference. Go an' get us the black bottle from the place; it'll soon be + time to move. I hope they won't stay too long.” + </p> + <p> + Denis obeyed this command with great readiness, for whiskey in some degree + blunted the fierce passions of his brother, and deadened his cruelty; or + rather diverted it from minor objects to those which occurred in the + lawless perpetration of his villany. + </p> + <p> + The bottle was got, and in the meantime the fire blazed up brightly; the + storm without, however, did not abate, nor did Meehan and his brother wish + that it should. As the elder of them took the glass from the hands of the + other, an air of savage pleasure blazed in his eyes, on reflecting that + the tempest of the night was favorable to the execution of the villanous + deed on which they were bent. + </p> + <p> + “More power to you!” said Anthony, impiously personifying the storm; “sure + that's one proof that God doesn't throuble his head about what we do, or + we would not get such a murdherin' fine night as is in it any how. That's + it! blow and tundher away, an' keep yourself an' us, as black as hell, + sooner than we should fail in what we intend! Anne, your health, acushla!—Yours, + Dinny! If you keep your tongue off o' me, I'll neither make nor meddle in + regard o' the batin' o' you.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope you'll stick to that, any how,” replied Denis; “for my part I'm + sick and sore o' you every day in the year. Many another man would put + salt wather between himself and yourself, sooner nor become a + battin'-stone for you, as I have been. Few would bear it, when they could + mend themselves.” + </p> + <p> + “What's that you say?” replied Anthony, suddenly laying down his glass, + catching his brother by the collar, and looking him with a murderous scowl + in the face. “Is it thrachery you hint at?—eh? Sarpent, is it + thrachery you mane?” and as he spoke, he compressed Denis's neck between + his powerful hands, until the other was black in the face. + </p> + <p> + Anne flew to her uncle's assistance, and with much difficulty succeeded in + rescuing him from the deadly gripe of her father, who exclaimed, as he + loosed his hold, “You may thank the girl, or you'd not spake, nor dare to + spake, about crossin' the salt wather, or lavin' me in a desateful way + agin. If I ever suspect that a thought of thrachery comes into your heart, + I'll do for you; and you may carry your story to the world I'll send you + to.” + </p> + <p> + “Father, dear, why are you so suspicious of my uncle?” said Anne; “sure + he's a long time livin' with you, an' goin' step for step in all the + danger you meet with. If he had a mind to turn out a Judas agin you, he + might a done it long agone; not to mintion the throuble it would bring on + his own head seein' he's as deep in everything as you are.” + </p> + <p> + “If that's all that's throubling you,” replied Denis, trembling, “you may + make yourself asy on the head of it; but well I know 'tisn't that that's + on your mind; 'tis your own conscience; but sure it's not fair nor + rasonable for you to vent your evil thoughts on me!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, he won't,” said Anne, “he'll quit it; his mind's throubled; an', + dear knows, it's no wondher it should. Och, I'd give the world wide that + his conscience was lightened of the load that's upon it! My mother's + lameness is nothin'; but the child, poor thing! An' it was only widin + three days of her lyin'-in. Och, it was a cruel sthroke, father! An' when + I seen its little innocent face, dead an' me widout a brother, I thought + my heart would break, thinkin' upon who did it!” The tears fell in showers + from her eyes, as she added, “Father, I don't want to vex you; but I wish + you to feel sorrow for that at laste. Oh, if you'd bring the priest, an' + give up sich coorses, father dear, how happy we'd be, an' how happy + yourself 'ud be!” + </p> + <p> + Conscience for a moment started from her sleep, and uttered a cry of guilt + in his spirit; his face became ghastly, and his eyes full of horror: his + lips quivered, and he' was about to upbraid his daughter with more + harshness than usual, when a low whistle, resembling that of a curlew, was + heard at a chink of the door. In a moment he gulped down another glass of + spirits, and was on his feet: “Go, Denis, an' get the arms,” said he to + his brother, “while I let them in.” + </p> + <p> + On opening the door, three men entered, having their great coats muffled + about them, and their hats slouched. One of them, named Kenny, was a short + villain, but of a thick-set, hairy frame. The other was known as “the Big + Mower,” in consequence of his following that employment every season, and + of his great skill in performing it. He had a deep-rooted objection + against permitting the palm of his hand to be seen; a reluctance which + common fame attributed to the fact of his having received on that part the + impress of a hot iron, in the shape of the letter T, not forgetting to + add, that T was the hieroglyphic for Thief. The villain himself affirmed + it was simply the mark of a cross, burned into it by a blessed friar, as a + charm against St. Vitus's dance, to which he had once been subject. The + people, however, were rather sceptical, not of the friar's power to cure + that malady, but of the fact of his ever having moved a limb under it; and + they concluded with telling him, good-humoredly enough, that + notwithstanding the charm, he was destined to die “wid the threble of it + in his toe.” The third was a noted pedlar called Martin, who, under + pretence of selling tape, pins, scissors, etc., was very useful in setting + such premises as this virtuous fraternity might, without much risk, make a + descent upon. + </p> + <p> + “I thought yez would out-stay your time,” said the elder Meehan, relapsing + into his determined hardihood of character; “we're ready, hours agone. + Dick Rice gave me two curlew an' two patrich calls to-day. Now pass the + glass among yez, while Denny brings the arms. I know there's danger in + this business, in regard of the Cassidys livin' so near us. If I see + anybody afut, I'll use the curlew call: an' if not, I'll whistle twice on + the patrich (* partridge) one, an' ye may come an. The horse is worth + eighty guineas, if he's worth a shillin'; an' we'll make sixty off him + ourselves.” + </p> + <p> + For some time they chatted about the plan in contemplation, and drank + freely of the spirits, until at length the impatience of the elder Meehan + at the delay of his brother became ungovernable. His voice deepened into + tones of savage passion, as he uttered a series of blasphemous curses + against this unfortunate butt of his indignation and malignity. At length + he rushed out furiously to know why he did not return; but, on reaching a + secret excavation in the mound against which the house was built, he + found, to his utter dismay, that Denis had made his escape by an + artificial passage, scooped out of it to secure themselves a retreat in + case of surprise or detection. It opened behind the house among a clump of + black-thorn and brushwood, and wis covered “with green turf in such a + manner as to escape the notice of all who were not acquainted with the + secret. Meehan's face on his return was worked up into an expression truly + awful. + </p> + <p> + “We're sould!” said he; “but stop, I'll tache the thraithur what revenge + is!” + </p> + <p> + In a moment he awoke his brother's two sons, and dragged them by the neck, + one in each hand, to the hearth. + </p> + <p> + “Your villain of a father's off,” said he, “to betray us; go, an' folly + him; bring him back, an' he'll be safe from me: but let him become a slag + agin us, and if I should hunt you both into bowels of the airth, I'll send + yez to a short account. I don't care that,” and he snapped his fingers—“ha, + ha—no, I don't care that for the law; I know how to dale with it, + when it comes! An' what's the stuff about the other world, but priestcraft + and lies!” + </p> + <p> + “Maybe,” said the Big Mower, “Denis is gone to get the foreway of us, an' + to take the horse himself. Our best plan is to lose no time, at all + events; so let us hurry, for fraid the night might happen to clear up.” + </p> + <p> + “He!” said Meehan, “he go alone! No; the miserable wretch is afeard of his + own shadow. I only wondher he stuck to me so long: but sure he wouldn't, + only I bate the courage in, and the fear out of him. You're right, Brian,” + said he upon reflection, “let us lose no time, but be off. Do ye mind?” he + added to his nephews; “Did ye hear me? If you see him, let him come back, + an' all will be berrid; but, if he doesn't, you know your fate!” Saying + which, he and his accomplices departed amid the howling of the storm. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, Carnmore, and indeed the whole parish, was in an uproar; + a horse, worth eighty guineas, had been stolen in the most daring manner + from the Cassidys, and the hue-and-cry was up after the thief or thieves + who took him. For several days the search was closely maintained, but + without success; not the slightest trace could be found of him or them. + The Cassidys could very well bear to lose him; but there were many + struggling farmers, on whose property serious depredations had been + committed, who could not sustain their loss so easily. It was natural + under these circumstances that suspicion should attach to many persons, + some of whom had but indifferent characters before as well as to several + who certainly had never deserved suspicion. When a fortnight or so had + elapsed, and no circumstances transpired that might lead to discovery, the + neighbors, including those who had principally suffered by the robberies, + determined to assemble upon a certain day at Cassidy's house, for the + purpose of clearing themselves, on oath, of the imputation thrown out + against some of them, as accomplices in the thefts. In order, however, + that the ceremony should be performed as solemnly as possible, they + determined to send for Father Farrell, and Mr. Nicholson, a magistrate, + both of whom they requested to undertake the task of jointly presiding + upon this occasion; and, that the circumstance should have every + publicity, it was announced from the altar by the priest, on the preceding + Sabbath, and published on the church-gate in large legible characters + ingeniously printed with a pen by the village schoolmaster. + </p> + <p> + In fact, the intended meeting, and the object of it, were already + notorious; and much conversation was held upon its probable result, and + the measures which might be taken against those who should refuse to + swear. Of the latter, description there was but one opinion, which was + that their refusal in such a case would be tantamount to guilt. The + innocent were anxious to vindicate themselves from suspicion: and, as the + suspected did not amount to more than a dozen, of course, the whole body + of the people, including the thieves themselves, who applauded it as + loudly as the other, all expressed their satisfaction at the measures + about to be adopted. A day was therefore appointed, on which the + inhabitants of the neighborhood, particularly the suspected persons, + should come to assemble at Cassidy's house, in order to have the + characters of the innocent cleared up, and the guilty, if possible, made + known. + </p> + <p> + On the evening before this took place, were assembled in Meehan's cottage, + the elder Meehan, and the rest of the gang, including Denis, who had + absconded, on the night of the theft. + </p> + <p> + “Well, well, Denny,” said Anthony, who forced his rugged nature into an + appearance of better temper, that he might strengthen the timid spirit of + his brother against the scrutiny about to take place on the morrow—perhaps, + too, he dreaded him—“Well, well. Denny, I thought, sure enough, that + it was some new piece of cowardice came over you. Just think of him,” he + added, “shabbin' off, only because he made, with a bit of a rod, three + strokes in the ashes that he thought resembled a coffin!—ha, ha, + ha!” + </p> + <p> + This produced a peal of derision at Denis's pusillanimous terror. + </p> + <p> + “Ay!” said the Big Mower, “he was makin' a coffin, was he? I wondher it + wasn't a rope you drew, Denny. If any one dies in the coil, it will be the + greatest coward, an' that's yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “You may all laugh,” replied Denis, “but I know such things to have a + manin'. When my mother died, didn't my father, the heavens be his bed! see + a black coach about a week before it? an' sure from the first day she tuck + ill, the dead-watch was heard in the house every night: and what was more + nor that, she kept warm until she went into her grave; * an' accordingly, + didn't my sisther Shibby die within a year afther?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * It is supposed in Ireland, when a corpse retains, for + a longer space of time than usual, any thing like + animal heat, that some person belonging to the family + of the deceased will die within a year. +</pre> + <p> + “It's no matther about thim things,” replied Anthony; “it's thruth about + the dead-watch, my mother keepin' warm, an' Shibby's death, any way, But + on the night we tuck Cassidy's horse, I thought you were goin' to betray + us: I was surely in a murdherin' passion, an' would have done harm, only + things turned out as they did.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Denis, “the truth is, I was afeard some of us would be shot, + an' that the lot would fall on myself; for the coffin, thinks I, was sent + as a warnin'. How-and-ever, I spied about Cassidy's stable, till I seen + that the coast was clear; so whin I heard the low cry of the patrich that + Anthony and I agreed on, I joined yez.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, about to-morrow,” observed Kenny—“ha, ha, ha!—there'll + be lots o' swearin'—Why the whole parish is to switch the primer; + many a thumb and coat-cuff will be kissed in spite of priest or + magistrate. I remimber once, when I was swearin' an alibi for long Paddy + Murray, that suffered for the M'Gees, I kissed my thumb, I thought, so + smoothly, that no one would notice it; but I had a keen one to dale with, + so says he, 'You know for the matther o' that, my good fellow, that you + have your thumb to kiss every day in the week,' says he, 'but you might + salute the book out o' dacency and good manners; not,' says he, 'that you + an' it are strangers aither; for, if I don't mistake, you're an ould hand + at swearin' alibis.' + </p> + <p> + “At all evints, I had to smack the book itself, and it's I, and Barney + Green, and Tim Casserly, that did swear stiffly for Paddy, but the thing + was too clear agin him. So he suffered, poor fellow, an' died right game, + for he said over his dhrop—ha, ha, ha!—that he was as innocent + o' the murder as a child unborn: an' so he was in one sinse, bein' afther + gettin' absolution.” + </p> + <p> + “As to thumb-kissin',” observed the elder Meehan; “let there be none of it + among us to-morrow; if we're caught at it 'twould be as bad as stayin' + away altogether; for my part, I'll give it a smack like a pistol-shot—ha, + ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “I hope they won't bring the priest's book,” said Denis. “I haven't the + laste objection agin payin' my respects to the magistrate's paper, but + somehow I don't like tastin' the priest's in a falsity.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't you know,” said the Big Mower, “that with a magistrate's present, + it's ever an' always only the Tistament by law that's used. I myself + wouldn't kiss the mass-book in a falsity.” + </p> + <p> + “There's none of us sayin' we'd do it in a lie,” said the elder Meehan; + “an' it's well for thousands that the law doesn't use the priest's book; + though, after all, aren't there books that say religion's all a sham? I + think myself it is; for if what they talk about justice an' Providence is + thrue, would Tom Dillon be transported for the robbery we committed at + Bantry? Tom, it's true, was an ould offender; but he was innocent of that, + any way. The world's all chance; boys, as Sargint Eustace used to say, and + whin we die there's no more about us; so that I don't see why a man + mightn't as well switch the priest's book as any other, only that, + somehow, a body can't shake the terror of it off o' them.” + </p> + <p> + “I dunna, Anthony, but you and I ought to curse that sargint; only for him + we mightn't be as we are, sore in our conscience, an' afeard of every fut + we hear passin',” observed Denis. + </p> + <p> + “Spake for your own cowardly heart, man alive,” replied Anthony; “for my + part, I'm afeared o' nothin'. Put round the glass, and don't be nursin' it + there all night. Sure we're not so bad as the rot among the sheep, nor the + black leg among the bullocks, nor the staggers among the horses, any how; + an' yet they'd hang us up only for bein' fond of a bit o' mate—ha, + ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Thrue enough,” said the Big Mower, philosophizing—“God made the + beef and the mutton, and the grass to feed it; but it was man made the + ditches: now we're only bringin' things back to the right way that + Providence made them in, when ould times were in it, manin' before ditches + war invinted—ha, ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “'Tis a good argument,” observed Kenny, “only that judge and jury would be + a little delicate in actin' up to it; an' the more's the pity. Howsomever, + as Providence made the mutton, sure it's not harm for us to take what he + sends.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay; but,” said Denis, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'God made man, an' man made money; + God made bees, and bees made honey; + God made Satan, an' Satan made sin; + An' God made a hell to put Satan in.' +</pre> + <p> + Let nobody say there's not a hell; isn't there it plain from Scripthur?” + </p> + <p> + “I wish you had the Scripthur tied about your neck!” replied Anthony. “How + fond of it one o' the greatest thieves that ever missed the rope is! Why + the fellow could plan a roguery with any man that ever danced the + hangman's hornpipe, and yet he be's repatin' bits an' scraps of ould + prayers, an' charms, an' stuff. Ay, indeed! Sure he has a varse out o' the + Bible, that he thinks can prevent a man from bein' hung up any day!” + </p> + <p> + While Denny, the Big Mower, and the two Meehans were thus engaged in + giving expression to their peculiar opinions, the Pedlar held a + conversation of a different kind with Anne. + </p> + <p> + With the secrets of the family in his keeping, he commenced a rather + penitent review of his own life, and expressed his intention of abandoning + so dangerous a mode of accumulating wealth. He said that he thanked heaven + he had already laid up sufficient for the wants of a reasonable man; that + he understood farming and the management of sheep particularly well: that + it was his intention to remove to a different part of the kingdom, and + take a farm; and that nothing prevented him from having done this before, + but the want of a helpmate to take care of his establishment: he added, + that his present wife was of an intolerable temper, and a greater villain + by fifty degrees than himself. He concluded by saying, that his conscience + twitched him night and day for living with her, and that by abandoning her + immediately, becoming truly religious, and taking Anne in her place, he + hoped, he said, to atone in some measure for his former errors. + </p> + <p> + Anthony, however, having noticed the earnestness which marked the Pedlar's + manner, suspected him of attempting to corrupt the principles of his + daughter, having forgotten the influence which his own opinions were + calculated to produce upon her heart. + </p> + <p> + “Martin,” said he, “'twould be as well you ped attention to what we're + sayin' in regard o' the thrial to-morrow, as to be palaverin' talk into + the girl's ear that can't be good comin' from <i>your</i> lips. Quit it, I + say, quit it! <i>Corp an duoiwol</i> (* My body to Satan)!—I won't + allow such proceedins!” + </p> + <p> + “Swear till you blister your lips, Anthony,” replied Martin: “as for me, + bein' no residenthur, I'm not bound to it; an' what's more, I'm not + suspected. 'Tis settin' some other bit o' work for yez I'll be, while + you're all clearin' yourselves from stealin' honest Cassidy's horse. I + wish we had him safely disposed of in the mane time, an' the money for him + an' the other beasts in our pockets.” + </p> + <p> + Much more conversation of a similar kind passed between them upon various + topics connected with their profligacy and crimes. At length they + separated for the night, after having concerted their plan of action for + the ensuing scrutiny. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, before the hour appointed arrived, the parish, + particularly the neighborhood of Carnmore, was struck with deep + consternation. Labor became suspended, mirth disappeared, and every face + was marked with paleness, anxiety, and apprehension. If two men met, one + shook his head mysteriously, and inquired from the other, “Did you hear + the news?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay! ay! the Lord be about us all, I did! an' I pray God that it may lave + the counthry as it came to it!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, an' that it may, I humbly make supplication this day!” + </p> + <p> + If two women met, it was with similar mystery and fear. “Vread, (* + Margaret) do you know what's at the Cassidys'?” + </p> + <p> + “Whisht, ahagur, I do; but let what will happen, sure it's best for us to + say nothin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Say! the blessed Virgin forbid! I'd cut my hand off o' me, afore I'd + spake a word about it; only that—” + </p> + <p> + “Whisht! woman—for mercy's sake—don't——” + </p> + <p> + And so they would separate, each crossing herself devoutly. + </p> + <p> + The meeting at Cassidy's was to take place that day at twelve o'clock; + but, about two hours before the appointed time, Anne, who had been in some + of the other houses, came into her father's, quite pale, breathless and + trembling. + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” she exclaimed, with clasped hands, whilst the tears fell fast from + her eyes, “we'll be lost, ruined; did yez hear what's in the neighborhood + wid the Cassidys?” + </p> + <p> + “Girl,” said the father, with more severity than he had ever manifested to + her before, “I never yet riz my hand to you, but <i>ma corp an duowol</i>, + if you open your lips, I'll fell you where you stand. Do you want that + cowardly uncle o' yours to be the manes o' hanging your father? Maybe that + was one o' the lessons Martin gave you last night?” And as he spoke he + knit his brows at her with that murderous scowl which was habitual to him. + The girl trembled, and began to think that since her father's temper + deepened in domestic outrage and violence as his crimes multiplied, the + sooner she left the family the better. Every day, indeed, diminished that + species of instinctive affection which she had entertained towards him; + and this, in proportion as her reason ripened into a capacity for + comprehending the dark materials of which his character was composed. + Whether he himself began to consider detection at hand, or not, we cannot + say; but it is certain, that his conduct was marked with a callous + recklessness of spirit, which increased in atrocity to such a degree, that + even his daughter could,only not look on him with disgust. + </p> + <p> + “What's the matter now?” inquired Denis, with alarm: “is it anything about + us, Anthony?” + </p> + <p> + “No, 'tisn't,” replied the other, “anything about us! What 'ud it be about + us for? 'Tis a lyin' report that some cunnin' knave spread, hopin' to find + out the guilty. But hear me, Denis, once for all; we're goin' to clear + ourselves—now listen—an' let my words sink deep into you + heart: if you refuse to swear this day—no matther what's put into + your hand—you'll do harm—that's all: have courage, man; but + should you cow, your coorse will be short; an' mark, even if you escape + me, your sons won't: I have it all planned: an' <i>corp an duowol!</i> + thim you won't know from Adam will revenge me, if I am taken up through + your unmanliness.” + </p> + <p> + “'Twould be betther for us to lave the counthry,” said Anne; “we might + slip away as it is.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said the father, “an' be taken by the neck afore we'd get two miles + from the place! no, no, girl; it's the safest way to brazen thim out. Did + you hear me, Denis?” + </p> + <p> + Denis started, for he had been evidently pondering on the mysterious words + of Anne, to which his brother's anxiety to conceal them gave additional + mystery. The coffin, too, recurred to him; and he feared that the death + shadowed out by it would in some manner or other occur in the family. He + was, in fact, one of those miserable villains with but half a conscience;—that + is to say, as much as makes them the slaves of the fear which results from + crime, without being the slightest impediment to their committing it. It + was no wonder he started at the deep pervading tones of his brother's + voice, for the question was put with ferocious energy. + </p> + <p> + On starting, he looked with vague terror on his brother, fearing, but not + comprehending, his question. + </p> + <p> + “What is it, Anthony?” he inquired. “Oh, for that matther,” replied the + other, “nothin' at all: think of what I said to you any how; swear through + thick an' thin, if you have a regard for your own health, or for your + childher. Maybe I had betther repate it again for you?” he continued, + eyeing him with mingled fear and suspicion. “Dennis, as a friend, I bid + you mind yourself this day, an' see you don't bring aither of us into + throuble.” + </p> + <p> + There lay before the Cassidys' houses a small flat of common, trodden into + rings by the young horses they were in the habit of training. On this + level space were assembled those who came, either to clear their own + character from suspicion, or to witness the ceremony. The day was dark and + lowering, and heavy clouds rolled slowly across the peaks of the + surrounding mountains; scarcely a breath of air could be felt; and, as the + country people silently approached, such was the closeness of the day, + their haste to arrive in time, and their general anxiety, either for + themselves or their friends, that almost every man, on reaching the spot, + might be seen taking up the skirts of his “cothamore,” or “big coat,” (the + peasant's handkerchief), to wipe the sweat from his brow; and as he took + off his dingy woollen hat, or caubeen, the perspiration rose in strong + exhalations from his head. + </p> + <p> + “Michael, am I in time?” might be heard from such persons, as they + arrived: “did this business begin yit?” + </p> + <p> + “Full time, Larry; myself's here an hour ago but no appearance of anything + as yit. Father Farrell and Squire Nicholson are both in Cassidys' waitin' + till they're all gother, whin they'll begin to put thim through their + facins. You hard about what they've got?” + </p> + <p> + “No; for I'm only on my way home from the berril of a <i>cleaveen</i> of + mine, that we put down this mornin' in the Tullyard. What is it?” + </p> + <p> + “Why man alive, it's through the whole parish <i>inready</i>;”—he + then went on, lowering his voice to a whisper, and speaking in a tone + bordering on dismay. + </p> + <p> + The other crossed himself, and betrayed symptoms of awe and astonishment, + not un-mingled with fear. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” he replied, “I dunna whether I'd come here, if I'd known that; + for, innocent or guilty, I would'nt wish to be near it. Och, may God pity + thim that's to come acrass it, I espishily if they dare to do it in a + lie!” + </p> + <p> + “They needn't, I can tell yez both,” observed a third person, “be a hair + afeard of it, for the best rason livin', that there's no thruth at all in + the report, nor the Cassidys never thought of sindin' for anything o' the + kind: I have it from Larry Cassidy's own lips, an' he ought to know best.” + The truth is, that two reports were current among the crowd: one that the + oath was to be simply on the Bible; and the other, that a more awful means + of expurgation was resorted to by the Cassidys. The people, consequently, + not knowing which to credit, felt that most painful of all sensations—uncertainty. + </p> + <p> + During the period which intervened between their assembling and the + commencement of the ceremony, a spectator, interested in contemplating the + workings of human nature in circumstances of deep interest, would have had + ample scope for observation. The occasion was to them a solemn one. There + was little conversation among them; for when a man is wound up to a pitch + of great interest, he is seldom disposed to relish discourse. Every brow + was anxious, every cheek blanched, and every, arm folded: they scarcely + stirred, or when they did, only with slow abstracted movements, rather + mechanical than voluntary. If an individual made his appearance about + Cassidy's door, a sluggish stir among them was visible, and a low murmur + of a peculiar character might be heard; but on perceiving that it was only + some ordinary person, all subsided again into a brooding stillness that + was equally singular and impressive. + </p> + <p> + Under this peculiar feeling was the multitude, when Meehan and his brother + were seen approaching it from their own house. The elder, with folded + arms, and hat pulled over his brows, stalked grimly forward, having that + remarkable scowl upon his face, which had contributed to establish for him + so diabolical a character. Denis walked by his side, with his countenance + strained to inflation;—a miserable parody of that sullen effrontery + which marked the unshrinking miscreant beside him. He had not heard of the + ordeal, owing to the caution of Anthony: but, notwithstanding his effort + at indifference, a keen eye might have observed the latent anxiety of a + man who was habitually villanous, and naturally timid. + </p> + <p> + When this pair entered the crowd, a few secret glances, too rapid to be + noticed by the people, passed between them and their accomplices. Denis, + on seeing them present, took fresh courage, and looked with the heroism of + a blusterer upon those who stood about him, especially whenever he found + himself under the scrutinizing eye of his brother. Such was the horror and + detestation in which they were held, that on advancing into the assembly, + the persons on each side turned away, and openly avoided them: eyes full + of fierce hatred were bent on them vindictively, and “curses, not loud, + but deep,” were muttered with indignation which nothing but a divided + state of feeling could repress within due limits. Every glance, however, + was paid back by Anthony with interest, from eyes and black shaggy brows + tremendously ferocious; and his curses, as they rolled up half smothered + from his huge chest, were deeper and more diabolical by far than their + own. He even jeered at them; but, however disgusting his frown, there was + something truly apalling in the dark gleam of his scoff, which threw them + at an immeasurable distance behind him, in the power of displaying on the + countenance the worst of human passions. + </p> + <p> + At length Mr. Nicholson, Father Farrell, and his curate, attended by the + Cassidys and their friends, issued from the house: two or three servants + preceded them, bearing a table and chairs for the magistrate and priests, + who, however, stood during the ceremony. When they entered one of the + rings before alluded to, the table and chairs were placed in the centre of + it, and Father Farrell, as possessing most influence over the people, + addressed them very impressively. + </p> + <p> + “There are,” said he, in conclusion, “persons in this crowd whom we know + to be guilty; but we will have an opportunity of now witnessing the + lengths to which crime, long indulged in, can carry them. To such people I + would say beware! for they know not the situation in which they are + placed.” + </p> + <p> + During all this time there was not the slightest allusion made to the + mysterious ordeal which had excited so much awe and apprehension among + them—a circumstance which occasioned many a pale, downcast face to + clear up, and resume its usual cheerful expression. The crowd now were + assembled round the ring, and every man on whom an imputation had been + fastened came forward, when called upon, to the table at which the priests + and magistrate stood uncovered. The form of the oath was framed by the two + clergymen, who, as they knew the reservations and evasions commonest among + such characters, had ingeniously contrived not to leave a single loophole + through which the consciences of those who belonged to this worthy + fraternity might escape. + </p> + <p> + To those acquainted with Irish courts of justice there was nothing + particularly remarkable in the swearing. Indeed, one who stood among the + crowd might hear from those who were stationed at the greatest distance + from the table, such questions as the following:— + </p> + <p> + “Is the thing in it, Art?” + </p> + <p> + “No; 'tis nothin' but the law Bible, the magistrate's own one.” + </p> + <p> + To this the querist would reply, with a satisfied nod of the head, “Oh is + that all? I heard they war to have it;” on which he would push himself + through the crowd until he reached the table, where he took his oath as + readily as another. + </p> + <p> + “Jem Hartigan,” said the magistrate to one of those persons, “are you to + swear?” + </p> + <p> + “Faix, myself doesn't know, your honor; only that I hard them say that the + Cassidys mintioned our names along wid many other honest people; an' one + wouldn't, in that case, lie under a false report, your honor, from any + one, when we're as clear as them that never saw the light of anything of + the kind.” + </p> + <p> + The magistrate then put the book into his hand, and Jem, in return, fixed + his eye, with much apparent innocence, on his face: “Now, Jem Hartigan,” + etc, etc., and the oath was accordingly administered. Jem put the book to + his mouth, with his thumb raised to an acute angle on the back of it; nor + was the smack by any means a silent one which he gave it (his thumb). + </p> + <p> + The magistrate set his ear with the air of a man who had experience in + discriminating such sounds. “Hartigan,” said he, “you'll condescend to + kiss the book, sir, if you please: there's a hollowness in that smack, my + good fellow, that can't escape me.” + </p> + <p> + “Not kiss it, your honor? why, by this staff in my hand, if ever a man + kissed”— + </p> + <p> + “Silence! you impostor,” said the curate; “I watched you closely, and am + confident your lips never touched the book.” + </p> + <p> + “My lips never touched the book!—Why, you know I'd be sarry to + conthradict either o' yez; but I was jist goin' to obsarve, wid + simmission, that my own lips ought to know best; an' don't you hear them + tellin' you that they did kiss it?” and he grinned with confidence in + their faces. + </p> + <p> + “You double-dealing reprobate!” said the parish priest, “I'll lay my whip + across your jaws. I saw you, too, an' you did not kiss the book.” + </p> + <p> + “By dad, an' maybe I did not, sure enough,” he replied: “any man may make + a mistake unknownst to himself; but I'd give my oath, an' be the five + crasses, I kissed it as sure as—however, a good thing's never the + worse o' bein' twice done, gintlemen; so here goes, jist to satisfy yez;” + and, placing the book near, his mouth, and altering his position a little, + he appeared to comply, though, on the contrary, he touched neither it nor + his thumb. “It's the same thing to me,” he continued, laying down the book + with an air of confident assurance; “it's the same thing to me if I kissed + it fifty times over, which I'm ready to do if that doesn't satisfy yez.” + </p> + <p> + As every man acquitted himself of the charges brought against him, the + curate immediately took down his name. Indeed, before the clearing + commenced, he requested that such as were to swear would stand together + within the ring, that, after having sworn, he might hand each of them a + certificate of the fact, which they appeared to think might be serviceable + to them, should they happen to be subsequently indicted for the same crime + in a court of justice. This, however, was only a plan to keep them + together for what was soon to take place. + </p> + <p> + The detections of thumb kissing were received by those who had already + sworn, and by several in the outward crowd, with much mirth. It is but + justice, however, to the majority of those assembled to state, that they + appeared to entertain a serious opinion of the nature of the ceremony, and + no small degree of abhorrence against those who seemed to trifle with the + solemnity of an oath. + </p> + <p> + Standing on the edge of the circle, in the innermost row, were Meehan and + his brother. The former eyed, with all the hardness of a stoic, the + successive individuals as they passed up to the table. His accomplices had + gone forward, and to the surprise of many who strongly suspected them in + the most indifferent manner “cleared” themselves in the trying words of + the oath, of all knowledge of, and participation in, the thefts that had + taken place. + </p> + <p> + The grim visage of the elder Meehan was marked by a dark smile, scarcely + perceptible; but his brother, whose nerves were not so firm, appeared + somewhat confused and distracted by the imperturbable villany of the + perjurers. + </p> + <p> + At length they were called up. Anthony advanced slowly but collectedly, to + the table, only turning his eye slightly about, to observe if his brother + accompanied him. “Denis,” said he, “which of us will swear first? you + may;” for, as he doubted his brother's firmness, he was prudent enough, + should he fail, to guard against having the sin of perjury to answer for, + along with those demands which his country had to make for his other + crimes. Denis took the book, and cast a slight glance at his brother as if + for encouragement; their eyes met, and the darkened brow of Anthony hinted + at the danger of flinching in this crisis. The tremor of his hand was not, + perhaps, visible to any but Anthony, who, however, did not overlook this + circumstance. He held the book, but raised not his eye to meet the looks + of either the magistrate or the priests; the color also left his face, as + with shrinking lips he touched the Word of God in deliberate falsehood. + Having then laid it down, Anthony received it with a firm grasp, and + whilst his eye turned boldly in contemptuous mockery upon those who + presented it, he impressed it with the kiss of a man whose depraved + conscience seemed to goad him only to evil. After “clearing” himself, he + laid the Bible upon the table with the affected air of a person who felt + hurt at the imputation of theft, and joined the rest with a frown upon his + countenance, and a smothered curse upon his lips. + </p> + <p> + Just at this moment, a person from Cassidy's house laid upon the table a + small box covered with black cloth; and our readers will be surprised to + hear, that if fire had come down visibly from heaven, greater awe and fear + could not have been struck into their hearts, or depicted upon their + countenances. The casual conversation, and the commentaries upon the + ceremony they had witnessed, instantly settled into a most profound + silence, and every eye was turned towards it with an interest absolutely + fearful. “Let,” said the curate, “none of those who have sworn depart from + within the ring, until they once more clear themselves upon this;” and as + he spoke, he held it up—“Behold,” said he, “and tremble—behold + THE DONAGH!!!” + </p> + <p> + A low murmur of awe and astonishment burst from the people in general, + whilst those within the ring, who with few exceptions, were the worst + characters in the parish, appeared ready to sink into the earth. Their + countenances, for the most part, paled into the condemned hue of guilt; + many of them became almost unable to stand; and altogether, the state of + trepidation and terror in which they stood, was strikingly wild and + extraordinary. + </p> + <p> + The curate proceeded: “Let him now who is guilty depart; or if he wishes, + advance and challenge the awful penalty annexed to perjury upon this! Who + has ever been known to swear falsely upon the Donagh, without being + visited by a tremendous punishment, either on the spot, or in twenty-four + hours after his perjury? If we ourselves have not seen such instances with + our own eyes, it is because none liveth who dare incur such dreadful + penalty; but we have heard of those who did, and of their awful punishment + afterwards. Sudden death, madness, paralysis, self-destruction, or the + murder of some one dear to them, are the marks by which perjury upon the + Donagh is known and visited. Advance, now, ye who are innocent, but let + the guilty withdraw; for we do not desire to witness the terrible + vengeance which would attend a false oath upon the Donagh. Pause, + therefore, and be cautious! for if this grievous sin be committed, a heavy + punishment will fall, not only upon you, but upon the parish in which it + occurs!” + </p> + <p> + The words of the priest sounded to the guilty like the death-sentence of a + judge. Before he had concluded, all, except Meehan and his brother, and a + few who were really innocent, had slunk back out of the circle into the + crowd. Denis, however, became pale as a corpse; and from time to time + wiped the large drops from his haggard brow: even Anthony's cheek, despite + of his natural callousness, was less red; his eyes became disturbed; but + by their influence, he contrived to keep Denis in sufficient dread, to + prevent him from mingling, like the rest, among the people. The few who + remained along with them advanced; and notwithstanding their innocence, + when the Donagh was presented and the figure of Christ and the Twelve + Apostles displayed in the solemn tracery of its carving, they exhibited + symptoms of fear. With trembling hands they touched the Donagh, and with + trembling lips kissed the crucifix, in attestation of their guiltlessness + of the charge with which they had been accused. + </p> + <p> + “Anthony and Denis Meehan, come forward,” said the curate, “and declare + your innocence of the crimes with which you are charged by the Cassidys + and others.” + </p> + <p> + Anthony advanced; but Denis stood rooted to the ground; on perceiving + which, the former sternly returned a step or two, and catching him by the + arm with an admonitory grip, that could not easily be misunderstood, + compelled him to proceed with himself step by step to the table. Denis, + however, could feel the strong man tremble and perceive that although he + strove to lash himself into the energy of despair, and the utter disbelief + of all religious sanction, yet the trial before him called every + slumbering prejudice and apprehension of his mind into active power. This + was a death-blow to his own resolution, or, rather it confirmed him in his + previous determination not to swear on the Donagh, except to acknowledge + his guilt, which he could scarcely prevent himself from doing, such was + the vacillating state of mind to winch he felt himself reduced. + </p> + <p> + When Anthony reached the table, his huge form seemed to dilate by his + effort at maintaining the firmness necessary to support him in this awful + struggle between conscience and superstition on the one hand, and guilt, + habit, and infidelity on the other. He fixed his deep, dilated eyes upon + the Donagh, in a manner that betokened somewhat of irresolution: his + countenance fell; his color came and went, but eventually settled in a + flushed red; his powerful hands and arms trembled so much, that he folded + them to prevent his agitation from being noticed; the grimness of his face + ceased to be stern, while it retained the blank expression of guilt; his + temples swelled out with the terrible play of their blood-vessels, his + chest, too, heaved up and down with the united pressure of guilt, and the + tempest which shook him within. At length he saw Denis's eye upon him, and + his passions took a new direction; he knit his brows at him with more than + usual fierceness, ground his teeth, and with a step and action of + suppressed fury, he placed his foot at the edge of the table, and bowing + down under the eye of God and man, took the awful oath on the mysterious + Douagh, in a falsehood! When it was finished, a feeble groan broke from + his brother's lips. Anthony bent his eye on him with a deadly glare; but + Denis saw it not. The shock was beyond his courage,—he had become + insensible. + </p> + <p> + Those who stood at the outskirts of the crowd, seeing Denis apparently + lifeless, thought he must have sworn falsely on the Donagh, and exclaimed, + “He's dead! gracious God! Denis Meehan's struck dead by the Donagh! He + swore in a lie, and is now a corpse!” Anthony paused, and calmly surveyed + him as he lay with his head resting upon the hands of those who supported + him. At this moment a silent breeze came over where they stood; and, as + the Donagh lay upon the table, the black ribbons with which it was + ornamented fluttered with a melancholy appearance, that deepened the + sensations of the people into something peculiarly solemn and + preternatural. Denis at length revived, and stared wildly and vacantly + about him. When composed sufficiently to distinguish and recognize + individual objects, he looked upon the gloomy visage and threatening eye + of his brother, and shrunk back with a terror almost epileptical. “Oh!” he + exclaimed, “save me! save me from that man, and I'll discover all!” + </p> + <p> + Anthony calmly folded one arm into his bosom, and his lip, quivered with + the united influence of hatred and despair. + </p> + <p> + “Hould him,” shrieked a voice, which proceeded from his daughter, “hould + my father or he'll murdher him! Oh! oh! merciful Heaven!” + </p> + <p> + Ere the words were uttered she had made an attempt to clasp the arms of + her parent, whose motions she understood; but only in time to receive from + the pistol which he had concealed in his breast, the bullet aimed at her + uncle! She tottered! and the blood spouted out of her neck upon her + father's brows, who hastily put up his hand and wiped it away, for it had + actually blinded him. + </p> + <p> + The elder Meehan was a tall man, and as he stood, elevated nearly a head + above the crowd, his grim brows red with his daughter's blood—which, + in attempting to wipe away, he had deeply streaked across his face—his + eyes shooting fiery gleams of his late resentment, mingled with the + wildness of unexpected horror—as he thus stood, it would be + impossible to contemplate a more revolting picture of that state to which + the principles that had regulated his life must ultimately lead, even in + this world. + </p> + <p> + On perceiving what he had done, the deep working of his powerful frame was + struck into sudden stillness, and he turned his eyes on his bleeding + daughter, with a fearful perception of her situation. Now was the harvest + of his creed and crimes reaped in blood; and he felt that the stroke which + had fallen upon him was one of those by which God will sometimes bare his + arm and vindicate his justice. The reflection, however, shook him not: the + reality of his misery was too intense and pervading, and grappled too + strongly with his hardened and unbending spirit, to waste its power upon a + nerve or a muscle. It was abstracted, and beyond the reach of bodily + suffering. From the moment his daughter fell, he moved not: his lips were + half open with the conviction produced by the blasting truth of her death, + effected prematurely by his own hand. + </p> + <p> + Those parts of his face which had not been stained with her blood assumed + an ashy paleness, and rendered his countenance more terrific by the + contrast. Tall, powerful, and motionless, he appeared to the crowd, + glaring at the girl like a tiger anxious to join his offspring, yet + stunned with the shock of the bullet which has touched a vital part. His + iron-gray hair, as it fell in thick masses about his neck, was moved + slightly by the blast, and a lock which fell over his temple was blown + back with a motion rendered more distinct by his statue-like attitude, + immovable as death. + </p> + <p> + A silent and awful gathering of the people around this impressive scene, + intimated their knowledge of what they considered to be a judicial + punishment annexed to perjury upon the Donagh. This relic lay on the + table, and the eyes of those stood within view of it, turned from + Anthony's countenance to it, and again back to his blood-stained visage, + with all the overwhelming influence of superstitious fear. Shudderings, + tremblings, crossings, and ejaculations marked their conduct and feeling; + for though the incident in itself was simply a fatal and uncommon one, yet + they considered it supernatural and miraculous. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%"> + <img src="images/page899.jpg" + alt="Page 899-- Have I Murdhered My Daughter? " width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + At length a loud and agonizing cry burst from the lips of Meehan—“Oh, + God!—God of heaven an' earth!—have I murdhered my daughter?” + and he cast down the fatal weapon with a force which buried it some inches + into the wet clay. + </p> + <p> + The crowd had closed upon Anne; but with the strength of a giant he flung + them aside, caught the girl in his arms, and pressed her bleeding to his + bosom. He gasped for breath: “Anne,” said he, “Anne, I am without hope, + an' there's none to forgive me except you;—none at all: from God, to + the poorest of his creatures, I am hated an' cursed, by all, except you! + Don't curse me, Anne; don't curse me! Oh, isn't it enough, darlin', that + my sowl is now stained with your blood, along with my other crimes? In + hell, on earth, an' in heaven, there's none to forgive your father but + yourself!—none! none! Oh, what's comin' over me! I'm dizzy an' + shiverin'! How cowld the day's got of a sudden! Hould up, avourneen + machree! I was a bad man; but to you Anne, I was not as I was to every + one! Darlin', oh look at me with forgiveness in your eye, or any way don't + curse me! Oh! I'm far cowlder now! Tell me that you forgive me, <i>acushla + oge machree!—Manim asthee ha</i>, darlin', say it. I darn't look to + God! but oh! do you say the forgivin' word to your father before you die!” + </p> + <p> + “Father,” said she, “I deserve this—it's only just: I have plotted + with that divilish Martin to betray them all, except yourself, an' to get + the reward; an' then we intended to go—an'—live at a distance—an' + in wickedness—where we—might not be known—he's at our + house—let him be—secured. Forgive me, father; you said so + often that there was no thruth in religion—that I began to—think + so. Oh!—God! have mercy upon me!” And with these words she expired. + </p> + <p> + Meehan's countenance, on hearing this, was overspread with a ghastly look + of the most desolating agony: he staggered back, and the body of his + daughter, which he strove to hold, would have fallen from his arms, had it + not been caught by the bystanders. His eye sought out his brother, but not + in resentment. “Oh! she died, but didn't say 'I forgive you!' Denis,” said + he, “Denis, bring me home—I'm sick—very sick—oh, but + it's eowld—everything's reeling—how cowld—cowld it is!”—and + as he uttered the last words, he shuddered, fell down in a fit of + apoplexy, never to rise again; and the bodies of his daughter and himself + were both waked and buried together. + </p> + <p> + The result is brief. The rest of the gang were secured: Denis became + approver, by whose evidence they suffered that punishment decreed by law + to the crimes of which they had been guilty. The two events which I we + have just related, of course added to the supernatural fear and reverence + previously entertained for this terrible relic. It is still used as an + ordeal of expurgation, in cases of stolen property; and we are not wrong + in asserting, that many of those misguided creatures, who too frequently + hesitate not to swear falsely on the Word of God, would suffer death + itself sooner than commit a perjury on the Donagh. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + The story of the Donagh, the Author has reason to believe, was the means + of first bringing this curious piece of antiquity into notice. There is + little to be added here to what is in the sketch, concerning its influence + over the people, and the use of it as a blessed relic sought for by those + who wished to apply a certain test of guilt or innocence to such well + known thieves as scrupled not to perjure themselves on the Bible. For this + purpose it was a perfect conscience-trap, the most hardened miscreant + never having been known to risk a false oath upon it. Many singular + anecdotes are related concerning it. + </p> + <p> + The Author feels great pleasure in subjoining two very interesting letters + upon the subject—one from an accomplished scholar, the late Rev. Dr. + O'Beirne, master of the! distinguished school of Portora at Enniskillen; + the other from Sir William Betham, one of the soundest and most learned of + our Irish Antiquaries. Both gentlemen differ in their opinion respecting + the antiquity of the Donagh; and, as the author is incompetent to decide + between them, he gives their respective letters to the public. + </p> + <p> + ““"Portora, August 15, 1832. + </p> + <p> + ““"My Dear Carleton.—It is well you wrote to me about the Dona. Your + letter, which reached me this day, has proved that I was mistaken in + supposing that the promised drawing was no longer necessary. I had + imagined, that as you must have seen the Dona with Mr. Smith, any + communication from me on the subject must be superfluous. And now that I + have taken up my pen in compliance with your wish, what can I tell you + that you have not perhaps conveyed to yourself by ocular inspection, and + better than I can detail it? + </p> + <p> + ““"I accompanied Mr. S. to Brookborough, and asked very particularly of the + old woman, late the possessor of the Dona, what she knew of its history; + but she could say nothing about it, only that it had belonged to 'The Lord + of Enniskillen.' This was the Fermanagh Maguire, who took an active part + in the shocking rebellion of 1641, and was subsequently executed. His + castle, the ruins of which are on the grounds of Portora, was stormed + during the wars of that miserable time. When I entered on my inquiries for + you, I anticipated much in the way of tradition, which, I hoped, might + prove amusing at least; but disappointment met me on every hand. The old + woman could not even detail distinctly how the Dona had come into her + possession: it was brought into her family, she said, by a priest. The + country people had imagined wonders relative to the contents of the box. + The chief treasure it was supposed to contain was a lock of the Virgin + Mary's hair!!! + </p> + <p> + ““"After much inquiry, I received the following vague detail from a person + in this country; and let me remark, by the by, that though the possession + of the Dona was matter of boast to the Maguires, yet I could not gain the + slightest information respecting it from even the most intelligent of the + name. But now for the detail:— + </p> + <p> + ““"Donagh O'Hanlon, an inhabitant of the upper part of this country + (Fermanagh), went, about 600 years ago (longer than which time, in the + opinion of a celebrated antiquary, the kind of engraving on it could not + have been made), on a pious pilgrimage to Rome. His Holiness of the + Vatican, whose name has escaped the recollection of the person who gave + this information, as a reward for this supererogatory journey, presented + him with the Dona. As soon as Donagh returned, the Dona was placed in the + monastery of Aughadurcher (now Aughalurcher). But at the time, when + Cromwell was in this country, the monastery was destroyed, and this <i>Ark</i> + of the <i>Covenant</i> hid by some of the faithful at a small lake, named + Lough Eye, between Lisbellaw and Tempo. It was removed thence when peace + was restored, and again placed in some one of the neighboring chapels, + when, as before in Aughalurcher, the oaths were administered with all the + superstition that a depraved imagination could, invent, as “that their + thighs might rot off,” “that they might go mad,” etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + ““"When Kings James and William made their appearance, it was again + concealed in Largy, an old Castle at Sir H. Brooke's deer-park. Father + Antony Maguire, a priest of the Roman Church, dug it up from under the + stairs in this old castle, after the battle of the Boyne, deposited it in + a chapel, and it was used as before. + </p> + <p> + ““"After Father Antony's death it fell into the possession of his niece, + who took it over to the neighborhood of Florence-court. But the Maguires + were not satisfied that a thing so sacred should depart from the family, + and at their request it was brought back.” + </p> + <p> + “For the confirmation of the former part of this account, the informant + refers you to Sir James Ware. I have not Ware's book, and cannot therefore + tell you how much of this story, is given by him, or whether any. In my + opinion there is nothing detailed by him at all bearing on the subject. + The latter part of this story rests, we are told, on tradition. + </p> + <p> + “As I confess myself not at all versed in Irish antiquities, it may appear + somewhat presumptuous in me to venture an opinion respecting this box and + its contents, which is, I understand, opposed to that of our spirited and + intelligent antiquary, Sir Wm. Betham. I cannot persuade myself that + either the box or the contained MSS. were of such an age as he claims for + them. And, first, of the box:— + </p> + <p> + “At present the MSS. are contained in a wooden box; the wood is, I + believe, yew. It cannot be pronounced, I think, with any certainty, + whether the wooden box was originally part of the shrine of the precious + MSS. It is very rude in its construction, and has not a top or lid. Indeed + it appears to me to have been a coarse botched-up thing to receive the + MSS. after the original box, which was made of brass, had fallen to + pieces. + </p> + <p> + “The next thing that presents itself to us is the remnant of a brass box, + washed with Silver, and rudely ornamented with tracery. The two ends and + the front are all that remain of the brass box. + </p> + <p> + “You may then notice what was evidently an addition of later times, the + highly ornamented gilt-silver work, made fast on the remains of the brass + box, and the chased compartments, which seem to have formed the top or lid + of the box. But, as you have seen the whole, I need not perhaps have + troubled you with this description. I shall only direct your attention to + the two inscriptions. In the chasing you will see that they are referred + to their <i>supposed</i> places. + </p> + <p> + “The upper inscription, when deciphered, is— + </p> + <p> + “'Johannes: O'Karbri: Comorbanus: S. Tignacii: Pmisit.' For S. Tigcnaii I + would conjecture St. Ignacii: P, I should conjecture to be Presbyterus. On + this I. should be very glad to have Sir William's opinion. I cannot + imagine, if P stands part of a compound with misit, what it can mean. I + would read and translate it thus—'John O'Carbery, coadjutor, priest, + of the order of St. Ignatius, sent it.' + </p> + <p> + “This inscription, is on a narrow slip of silver, and is presumed to have + formed part of the under edge of the upper part of the back of the box. + The lower inscription is—; + </p> + <p> + “'<i>Johannes O'Barrdan fabricavit.</i>' + </p> + <p> + “This also is on a slip of silver, and appears to have fitted into a space + on the upper surface which is supposed to have been the top, and to have + lain in between the two square compartments on the left hand: this is + marked in the drawing. I have expressed myself here in the language of + doubt, for the box is all in confusion. + </p> + <p> + “Now, on the inscriptions, I would say, that they indicate to me a date + much later than some gentlemen who have seen the box are willing to + ascribe to it. In the island of Devenish, in our lake (Lough Erne), is an + inscription, that was discovered in the ruins (still standing) of a + priory, that was built there A. D. 1449. The characters in this + inscription are much more remote from the Roman character in use among us + than those used in the inscriptions on the box. The letters on the box + bespeak a later period, when English cultivation had begun to produce some + effect in our island, and the Roman character was winning its way into + general use. I shall probably be able to let you see the Devenish + inscription, and ajuxta position of it and the others will satisfy you, I + think, on this point. In my opinion, then, the box, with all its + ornaments, must have been made at some time since the year 1449. I cannot + think it reasonable to suppose that an inscription, containing many + letters like the Roman characters, should be more ancient than one not + only having fewer letters resembling them, but also having the letters + that differ differing essentially.” + </p> + <p> + Now for the MSS. + </p> + <p> + “I am deficient in antiquarian lore: this I have already confessed; but + perhaps I want also the creative fancy and devoted faith of the genuine + antiquary. I cannot, for example, persuade myself, that a MS. written in a + clear, uniform, small character of the Roman form, could have been written + in remote times, when there is reason to think that MSS. were written in + uncial characters only, without stops, and with few or no divisions into + words, sentences, or paragraphs. The palimpsest MS. examined by Dr. + Barrett is in uncial characters, and is referred by him to the 6th or 7th + century. <i>Cic. de Republica</i>, published by Angelo Mai, is assigned to + much the same period. Small letters, and the distinctions above mentioned, + were the invention of later times. I cannot therefore persuade myself that + this MS. is of so early an age as some would ascribe to it, though I will + not take it upon me to assign the precise time in which, it was written. + The characters are decidedly and distinctly those now called the Roman: + they have not many abbreviations, as far as I could judge, and they are + written with much clearness and regularity. They are not the <i>literae + cursivae</i>, or those used in writing for the sake of facility and + connection: they seem rather formed more in imitation, of printed letters. + SECUNDUM—This imperfect attempt to present one of the words, will + explain my meaning. But I had better not weary you any more with my crude + notions. I shall be very glad to hear your opinion, or that of Sir William + Betham, to whom I should bow with all the respect due to talent and worth. + I must avow my distrust of Irish antiquities; yet, allow me to add, that + there is no man more willing to be converted from my heresy, if you would + call it so, than + </p> + <p> + “My dear Carleton, + </p> + <p> + “Your friend and servant, + </p> + <p> + “A. O'BEIRNE.” + </p> + <p> + “Stradbrook House, October, 1832. + </p> + <p> + “Dear Sir,—I have read Dr. O'Beirne's important letter on the Dona: + the account he has collected of its recent history is full of interest, + and for the most part, I have no doubt correct. His speculations + respecting its antiquity I cannot give my adhesion to, not feeling a doubt + myself on the subject. When I have time to investigate it more fully, I am + satisfied that this box, like the others, of which accounts have already + been published, will be found mentioned in the Irish Annals. The + inscriptions, however, fully identify the MS. and the box, and show that + antiquaries, from the execution of the workmanship and figures on these + interesting reliques, often underrate their antiquity—a fault which + the world are little inclined to give them credit for, and which they fall + into from an anxiety to err on what they consider the side which is least + likely to produce the smile of contempt or the sneer of incredulity, + forgetting that it is the sole business of an antiquarian and historian to + speak the truth, disregarding even contempt for so doing. + </p> + <p> + “I had been somewhat lengthy in my description of the Dona, and from + habit, entered into a minute account of all its parts, quite forgetting + that you, perhaps, do not possess an appetite for antiquarian detail, and + therefore might be better pleased to have a general outline than such a + recital. I therefore proceed to give it as briefly as possible, not, + however, omitting any material points. + </p> + <p> + “The Irish word Domnach, which is pronounced Dona, means the Lord's day, + or the first day in the week, sanctified or consecrated to the service of + the Lord. It is also in that sense used for a house, church, or chapel. + Donayhmore means the great church or chapel dedicated to God. This box, + being holy, as containing the Gospels, and having the crucifix thereon, + was dedicated or consecrated to the service of God. Like the Caah, the + Meeshach, and Dhimma's box, it is of brass, covered with plates of silver, + and resembles the two former in having a box of yew inside, which was the + original case of the MS. and became venerated so much, on that account, as + to be deemed worthy of being inclosed with it in the shrine made by + permission of John O'Carberry, Abbot of Clonmacnois, in the 14th century. + </p> + <p> + “The top of the Dona is divided by a cross, on the lower arm of which is a + figure of the Savior; over his head is a shield, divided <i>per pale</i>, + between two crystal settings; on the dexter is a hand holding a scourge or + whip of three thongs, and on a chief a ring; on the sinister, on a chief + the same charge and three crucifixion nails. In the first compartment, or + quarter of the cross, are representations of St. Columbkill, St. Bridget, + and St. Patrick. In the second, a bishop pierced with two arrows, and two + figures of St. Peter and St. Paul. In the third, the Archangel Michael + treading on the dragon, and the Virgin Mary and the infant Jesus. In the + fourth, St. Tigemach handing to his successor, St. Sinellus, the Dona; and + a female figure, perhaps Mary Magdalen. + </p> + <p> + “The front of the Dona is ornamented with three crystal settings, + surmounted by grotesque figures of animals. Between these are four + horsemen with swords drawn, in full speed. + </p> + <p> + “The right hand end has a figure of St. Tigemach, and St. John the + Baptist. The left hand end a figure of St. Catherine with her wheel. + </p> + <p> + “The Dona is nine inches and a half long, seven wide, and not quite four + thick. + </p> + <p> + “So far I have been enabled to describe the Dona from the evidently + accurate and well executed drawings you were so good as to present to me. + Why the description is less particular than it should have been, I shall + take another opportunity of explaining to you. + </p> + <p> + “There are three inscriptions on the Dona: one on a scroll from the hand + of the figure of the Baptist, of ECCE AGNUS DEI. The two others are on + plates of silver, but their exact position on the box is not marked in the + drawing, but may be guessed by certain places which the plates exactly + fit. “The first is— + </p> + <p> + “JOHANNES: OBARRDAN: FABRICAVIT. + </p> + <p> + “The second— + </p> + <p> + “JOHS: OKARBRI: COMORBANVS: S. TIGNACH: PMISIT.” + </p> + <p> + “'<i>John O'Barrdan made this box by the permission of John O'Carbry, + successor of St. Tigermach</i>.' + </p> + <p> + “St. Tierny, or St. Tigernach was third Bishop of Clogher, having + succeeded St. Maccartin in the year 506. In the list of bishops, St. + Patrick is reckoned the first, and founder of the see. Tigernach died the + 4th of April, 548. + </p> + <p> + “John O'Carbry was abbott of Clones, or Clounish, in the County of + Monoghan, and as such was <i>comorb</i>, or <i>corb</i>*—i. e., + successor—of Tigernach, who was founder of the abbey and removed the + episcopal seat from Clogher to Clounish. Many of the abbots Were also + bishops of the see. He died in 1353. How long he was abbot does not + appear; but the age of the outside covering of the Dona is fixed to the + 14th century. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * All the successors of the founder saints were called + by the Irish <i>comorbs</i> or <i>corbs</i>. The reader Will perceive + that O'Carbry was a distant but not we immediate successor + of St. Tigernach. +</pre> + <p> + “Since the foregoing was written I have seen the Dona, which was exhibited + at the last meeting of the Royal Irish Academy. it has been put together + at a guess, but different from the drawing. There is inside O'Barrdan's + case another of silver plates some centuries older, and inside that the + yew box, which originally contained the manuscripts, now so united by damp + as to be apparently inseparable, and nearly illegible; for they have lost + the color of vellum, and are quite black, and very much decayed. The old + Irish version of the New Testament is well worthy of being edited; it is, + I conceive, the oldest Latin version extant, and varies much from the + Vulgate or Jerome's. + </p> + <p> + “The MS. inclosed in the yew box appears from the two membranes handed me + by your friend Mr. ———, to be a copy of the Gospels—at + least those membranes were part of the two first membranes of the Gospel + of St. Matthew, and, I would say, written in the 5th or 6th century; were, + probably, the property of St. Tigernach himself, and passed most likely to + the abbots of Clounish, his successors, as an heirloom, until it fell into + the hands of the Maguires, the most powerful of the princes of the country + now comprising the diocese of Clogher. Dr. O'Beirne's letter I trust you + will publish. I feel much indebted to the gentleman for his courteous + expressions towards me, and shall be most happy to have the pleasure of + being personally known to him. + </p> + <p> + “You must make allowance for the hasty sketch which is here given. The + advanced state of your printing would not allow me time for a more + elaborate investigation. + </p> + <p> + “Believe me, my dear sir, + </p> + <p> + “Very sincerely yours, + </p> + <p> + “W. BETHAM.” + </p> + <p> + We cannot close the illustrations of this ancient and venerable relic + without adding an extract from a most interesting and authentic history of + it contributed by our great Irish antiquarian, George Petrie, Esq., + R.H.A., M.R.I.A, to the 18th vol. of the Transactions of the Royal Irish + Academy, together with an engraving of it taken from a drawing made by the + same accomplished artist. + </p> + <p> + “I shall endeavor to arrange these evidences in consecutive order. + </p> + <p> + “It is of importance to prove that this <i>cumdach</i>, or reliquary, has + been from time immemorial popularly known by the name of <i>Domnach</i>, + or, as it is pronounced, Donagh, a word derived from the Latin <i>Dominicus</i>. + This fact is proved by a recent popular tale of very great power, by Mr. + Carleton, called the 'Donagh,' in which the superstitious uses to which + this reliquary has been long applied, are ably exhibited, and made + subservient to the interests of the story. It is also particularly + described under this name by the Rev. John Groyes in his account of the + parish of Errigal-Keeroch in the third volume of Shaw Mason's Parochial + Survey, page 163, though, as the writer states, it was not actually + preserved in that parish. + </p> + <p> + “2. The inscriptions on the external case leave no doubt that the Domnach + belonged to the monastery of Clones, or see of Clogher. The John O'Karbri, + the <i>Comharb</i>, or successor of St. Tighernach, recorded, in one of + those inscriptions as the person at whose cost, or by whose permission, + the outer ornamental case was made, was, according to the Annals of the + Pour Masters, Abbot of Clones, and died in the year 1353. He is properly + called in that inscription <i>Comorbanus</i>, or successor of Tighernach, + who was the first Abbot and Bishop of the Church of Clones, to which + place, after the death of St. Mac-Carthen, in the year 506, he removed the + see of Clogher, having erected a new church, which he dedicated to the + apostles Peter and Paul. St. Tighernach, according to all our ancient + authorities, died in the year 548. + </p> + <p> + “3. It appears from a fragment of an ancient life of St. Mac-Carthen, + preserved by Colgan, that a remarkable reliquary was given by St Patrick + to that saint when he placed him over the see of Clogher. + </p> + <p> + “'Et addidit, [Patricius] Accipo, inquit, baculum itineris mei, quo ego + membra mea sustento et scrinium in quo de sanctorum Apostolorum reliquiis, + et de sanctae Mariae capillis, et sancta Grace Domini, et sepulchro ejus, + et aliis reliquiis sanctis continentur. Quibus dictis dimisit cum osculo + pacis paterna fultum benedictione.'—<i>Colgan, Vit. S. Macaerthenni</i> + (24 Mart.) Acta SS. p. 738. + </p> + <p> + “From this passage we learn one great-cause of the sanctity in which this + reliquary was held, and of the uses of the several recesses for reliques + which it presents. It also explains the historical <i>rilievo</i> on the + top—the figure of St. Patrick presenting the Domnach to St. + Mac-Carthen. + </p> + <p> + “4. In Jocelyn's Life of St. Patrick (cap. 143) we have also a notice to + the same effect, but in which the Domnach is called a <i>Chrismatorium</i>, + and the relics are not specified—in all probability because they + were not then appended to it. + </p> + <p> + “In these authorities there is evidently much appearance of the Monkish + frauds of the middle ages; but still they are evidences of the tradition + of the country that such a gift had been made by Patrick to Mac-Carthen. + And as we advance higher in chronological authorities, we find the notice + of this gift stripped of much of its acquired garb of fiction, and related + with more of the simplicity of truth. + </p> + <p> + “5. In the life of St. Patrick called the Tripartite, usually ascribed to + St. Evin, an author of the seventh century, and which, even in its present + interpolated state, is confessedly prior to the tenth, there is the + following remarkable passage (as translated by Colgan from the original + Irish) relative to the gift of the Domnach from the Apostle of Ireland to + St. Mac-Carthen, in which it is expressly described under the very same + appellation which it still bears. + </p> + <p> + “' Aliquantis ergo evolutis diebus <i>Mac-Caertennum</i>, sive <i>Caerthennum</i> + Episcopuin prsefecit sedi Episcopali Clocherensi, ab Ardmacha regni + Metropoli haud multum distanti: et apud eum reliquit argenteum quoddam + reliquiarium <i>Domnach-airgidh</i> vulgo nuncupatum; quod viro Dei, in + Hiberniam venienti, ccelitus missum erat.'—<i>VII. Vita S. Patricii</i>, + Lib. in. cap. 3, <i>Tr. Th.</i> p. 149. + </p> + <p> + “This passage is elsewhere given by Colgan, with a slight change of words + in the translation. + </p> + <p> + “In this version, which is unquestionably prior to all the others, we find + the Domnach distinguished by the appellation of <i>Airgid</i>—an + addition which was applicable only to its more ancient or silver plated + case, and which could not with propriety be applied to its more recent + covering, which in its original state had the appearance of being of gold. + </p> + <p> + “On these evidences—and more might probably be procured if time had + allowed—we may, I think, with tolerable certainty, rest the + following conclusions: + </p> + <p> + “1. That the Domnach is the identical reliquary given by St. Patrick to + St. Mac-Carthen. + </p> + <p> + “2. As the form of the cumdach indicates that it was intended to receive a + book, and as the relics are all attached to the outer and the least + ancient cover, it is manifest that the use of the box as a reliquary was + not its original intention. The natural inference therefore is, that it + contained a manuscript which had belonged to St. Patrick; and us a + manuscript copy of the Gospels, apparently of that early age, is found + within it, there is every reason to believe it to be that identical one + for which the box was originally made, and which the Irish apostle + probably brought with him on his mission into this country. It is indeed, + not merely possible, but even probable, that the existence of this + manuscript was unknown to the Monkish biographers of St. Patrick and St. + Mac-Carthen, who speak of the box as a scrinium or reliquary only. The + outer cover was evidently not made to open; and some, at least, of the + relics attached to it were not introduced into Ireland before the twelfth + century. It will be remembered also that no superstition was and is more + common in connection with the ancient cumdachs than the dread of their + being opened. + </p> + <p> + “These conclusions will, I think, be strengthened considerably by the + facts, that the word <i>Domnach</i>, as applied either to a church, as + usual, or to a reliquary, as in this instance, is only to be found in our + histories in connection with St. Patrick's time; and, that in the latter + sense—its application to a reliquary—it only once occurs in + all our ancient authorities, namely, in the single reference to the gift + to St. Mac-Carthen; no other reliquary in Ireland, as far as can be + ascertained, having ever been known by that appellation. And it should + also be observed, that all the ancient reliques preserved in Ireland, + whether bells, books, croziers, or other remains, have invariably and + without any single exception, been preserved and venerated only as + appertaining to the original founders of the churches to which they + belonged.” + </p> + <p> + There is very little to be added, except that the Donagh was purchased for + a few pounds from the old woman who owned it, by Mr. George Smith, of the + house of Hodges and Smith, of College Green, Dublin, who very soon sold it + for a large sum to the Honorable Mr. Westenra, in whose possession I + presume it now is. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; +The Donagh, by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + +***** This file should be named 16014-h.htm or 16014-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/1/16014/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh + Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of + William Carleton, Volume Three + +Author: William Carleton + +Illustrator: M. L. Flanery + +Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16014] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE WORKS + +OF + +WILLIAM CARLETON. + + +VOLUME III. + + + + +TRAITS AND STORIES OF THE IRISH PEASANTRY + + +PART III. + + +[Illustration: Frontispiece] + +[Illustration: Titlepage] + + + + +CONTENTS + + The Hedge School. + + The Midnight Mass. + + The Donagh; Or, The Horse Stealers. + + + + +THE HEDGE SCHOOL. + +There never was a more unfounded calumny, than that which would impute +to the Irish peasantry an indifference to education. I may, on the +contrary, fearlessly assert that the lower orders of no country ever +manifested such a positive inclination for literary acquirements, +and that, too, under circumstances strongly calculated to produce +carelessness and apathy on this particular subject. Nay, I do maintain, +that he who is intimately acquainted with the character of our +countrymen, must acknowledge that their zeal for book learning, not only +is strong and ardent, when opportunities of scholastic education occur, +but that it increases in proportion as these opportunities are rare and +unattainable. The very name and nature of Hedge Schools are proof of +this; for what stronger point could be made out, in illustration of my +position, than the fact, that, despite of obstacles, the very idea of +which would crush ordinary enterprise--when not even a shed could be +obtained in which to assemble the children of an Irish village, the +worthy pedagogue selected the first green spot on the sunny side of a +quickset-thorn hedge, which he conceived adapted for his purpose, and +there, under the scorching rays of a summer sun, and in defiance of +spies and statutes, carried on the work of instruction. From this +circumstance the name of Hedge School originated; and, however it may be +associated with the ludicrous, I maintain, that it is highly creditable +to the character of the people, and an encouragement to those who wish +to see them receive pure and correct educational knowledge. A +Hedge School, however, in its original sense, was but a temporary +establishment, being only adopted until such a school-house could be +erected, as it was in those days deemed sufficient to hold such a number +of children, as were expected, at all hazards, to attend it. + +The opinion, I know, which has been long entertained of Hedge +Schoolmasters, was, and still is, unfavorable; but the character of +these worthy and eccentric persons has been misunderstood, for the +stigma attached to their want of knowledge should have rather been +applied to their want of morals, because, on this latter point, were +they principally indefensible. The fact is, that Hedge Schoolmasters +were a class of men from whom morality was not expected by the +peasantry; for, strange to say, one of their strongest recommendations +to the good opinion of the People, as far as their literary talents and +qualifications were concerned, was an inordinate love of whiskey, and if +to this could be added a slight touch of derangement, the character was +complete. + +On once asking an Irish peasant, why he sent his children to a +schoolmaster who was notoriously addicted to spirituous liquors, rather +than to a man of sober habits who taught in the same neighborhood, + +"Why do I send them to Mat Meegan, is it?" he replied--"and do you +think, sir," said he, "that I'd send them to that dry-headed dunce, Mr. +Frazher, with his black coat upon him, and his Caroline hat, and him +wouldn't take a glass of poteen wanst in seven years? Mat, sir, likes +it, and teaches the boys ten times betther whin he's dhrunk nor when +he's sober; and you'll never find a good tacher, sir, but's fond of +it. As for Mat, when he's half gone, I'd turn him agin the country for +deepness in learning; for it's then he rhymes it out of him, that it +would do one good to hear him." + +"So," said I, "you think that a love of drinking poteen is a sign of +talent in a school-master?" + +"Ay, or in any man else, sir," he replied. "Look at tradesmen, and 'tis +always the cleverest that you'll find fond of the drink! If you had hard +Mat and Frazher, the other evening, at it--what a hare Mat made of him! +but he was just in proper tune for it, being, at the time, purty well +I thank you, and did not lave him a leg to stand upon. He took him in +Euclid's Ailments and Logicals, and proved in Frazher's teeth that the +candlestick before them was the church-steeple, and Frazher himself the +parson; and so sign was on it, the other couldn't disprove it, but had +to give in." + +"Mat, then," I observed, "is the most learned man on this walk." + +"Why, thin, I doubt that same, sir," replied he, "for all he's so great +in the books; for, you see, while they were ding dust at it, who comes +in but mad Delaney, and he attacked Mat, and, in less than no time, +rubbed the consate out of him, as clane as he did out of Frazher." + +"Who is Delaney?" I inquired. + +"He was the makings of a priest, sir, and was in Maynooth a couple of +years, but he took in the knowledge so fast, that, bedad, he got cracked +wid larnin'--for a dunce you see, never cracks wid it, in regard of the +thickness of the skull: no doubt but he's too many for Mat, and can go +far beyant him in the books; but then, like Mat, he's still brightest +whin he has a sup in his head." + +These are the prejudices which the Irish peasantry have long entertained +concerning the character of hedge schoolmasters; but, granting them to +be unfounded, as they generally are, yet it is an indisputable fact, +that hedge schoolmasters were as superior in literary knowledge and +acquirements to the class of men who are now engaged in the general +education of the people, as they were beneath them in moral and +religious character. The former part of this assertion will, I am aware, +appear rather startling to many. But it is true; and one great cause why +the character of Society Teachers is undervalued, in many instances, by +the people, proceeds from a conviction on their parts, that they are, +and must be, incapable, from the slender portion of learning they have +received, of giving their children a sound and practical education. + +But that we may put this subject in a clearer light, we will give a +sketch of the course of instruction which was deemed necessary for a +hedge schoolmaster, and let it be contrasted with that which falls to +the lot of those engaged in the conducting of schools patronized by the +Education Societies of the present day. + +When a poor man, about twenty or thirty years ago, understood from the +schoolmaster who educated his sons, that any of them was particularly +"cute at his larnin'," the ambition of the parent usually directed +itself to one of three objects--he would either make him a priest, a +clerk, or a schoolmaster. The determination once fixed, the boy was set +apart from every kind of labor, that he might be at liberty to bestow +his undivided time and talents to the object set before him. His parents +strained every nerve to furnish him with the necessary books, and always +took care that his appearance and dress should be more decent than those +of any other member of the family. If the church were in prospect, he +was distinguished, after he had been two or three years at his Latin, by +the appellation of "the young priest," an epithet to him of the +greatest pride and honor; but if destined only to wield the ferula, his +importance in the family, and the narrow circle of his friends, was by +no means so great. If, however, the goal of his future ambition as a +schoolmaster was humbler, that of his literary career was considerably +extended. He usually remained at the next school in the vicinity +until he supposed that he had completely drained the master of all his +knowledge. This circumstance was generally discovered in the following +manner:--As soon as he judged himself a match for his teacher, and +possessed sufficient confidence in his own powers, he penned him a +formal challenge to meet him in literary contest either in his own +school, before competent witnesses, or at the chapel-green, on the +Sabbath day, before the arrival of the priest or probably after it--for +the priest himself was sometimes the moderator and judge upon these +occasions. This challenge was generally couched in rhyme, and either +sent by the hands of a common friend or posted upon the chapel-door. + +These contests, as the reader perceives, were always public, and +were witnessed by the peasantry with intense interest. If the master +sustained a defeat, it was not so much attributed to his want of +learning, as to the overwhelming talent of his opponent; nor was +the success of the pupil generally followed by the expulsion of the +master--for this was but the first of a series of challenges which the +former proposed to undertake, ere he eventually settled himself in the +exercise of his profession. + +I remember being present at one of them, and a ludicrous exhibition it +was. The parish priest, a red-faced, jocular little man, was president; +and his curate, a scholar of six feet two inches in height, and a +schoolmaster from the next parish, were judges. I will only touch upon +two circumstances in their conduct, which evinced a close, instinctive +knowledge of human nature in the combatants. The master would not +condescend to argue off his throne--a piece of policy to which, in my +opinion, he owed his victory (for he won); whereas the pupil insisted +that he should meet him on equal ground, face to face, in the lower end +of the room. It was evident that the latter could not divest himself +of his boyish terror so long as the other sat, as it were, in the +plentitude of his former authority, contracting his brows with habitual +sternness, thundering out his arguments, with a most menacing and +stentorian voice, while he thumped his desk with his shut fist, or +struck it with his great ruler at the end of each argument, in a manner +that made the youngster put his hands behind him several times, to be +certain that that portion of his dress which is unmentionable was tight +upon him. If in these encounters the young candidate for the honors of +the literary sceptre was not victorious, he again resumed his studies, +under his old preceptor, with renewed vigor and becoming humility; but +if he put the schoolmaster down, his next object was to seek out some +other teacher, whose celebrity was unclouded within his own range. With +him he had a fresh encounter, and its result was similar to what I have +already related. + +If victorious, he sought out another and more learned opponent; and +if defeated, he became the pupil of his conqueror--going night about, +during his sojourn at the school, with the neighboring farmers' sons, +whom he assisted in their studies, as a compensation for his support. +He was called during these peregrinations, the Poor Scholar, a character +which secured him the esteem and hospitable attention of the peasantry, +who never fail in respect to any one characterized by a zeal for +learning and knowledge. + +In this manner he proceeded, a literary knight errant, filled with a +chivalrous love of letters, which would have done honor to the most +learned peripatetic of them all; enlarging his own powers, and making +fresh acquisitions of knowledge as he went along. His contests, his +defeats, and his triumphs, of course, were frequent; and his habits +of thinking and reasoning must have been considerably improved, his +acquaintance with classical and mathematical authors rendered more +intimate, and his powers of illustration and comparison more clear +and happy. After three or four years spent in this manner, he +usually returned to his native place, sent another challenger to the +schoolmaster, in the capacity of a candidate for his situation, and if +successful, drove him out of the district, and established himself in +his situation. The vanquished master sought a new district, sent a new +challenge, in his turn, to some other teacher, and usually put him to +flight in the same manner. The terms of defeat or victory, according to +their application, were called sacking and bogging. "There was a great +argument entirely, sir," said a peasant once, when speaking of these +contests, "'twas at the chapel on Sunday week, betiane young Tom Brady, +that was a poor scholar in Munsther, and Mr. Hartigan the schoolmaster." + +"And who was victorious?" I inquired. "Why, sir, and maybe 'twas young +Brady that didn't sack him clane before the priest and all, and went +nigh to bog the priest himself in Greek. His Reverence was only two +words beyant him; but he sacked the masther any how, and showed him in +the Grammatical and Dixonary where he was Wrong." + +"And what is Brady's object in life?" I asked. "What does he intend to +do." + +"Intend to do, is it? I am tould nothing less nor going into Trinity +College in Dublin and expects to bate them all there, out and out: +he's first to make something they call a seizure; (* Sizar) and, afther +making that good he's to be a counsellor. So, sir, you see what it is to +resave good schoolin', and to have the larnin'; but, indeed, it's Brady +that's the great head-piece entirely." + +Unquestionably, many who received instruction in this manner have +distinguished themselves in the Dublin University; and I have no +hesitation in saying, that young men educated in Irish hedge schools, as +they were called, have proved themselves to be better classical scholars +and mathematicians, generally speaking, than any proportionate number +of those educated in our first-rate academies. The Munstor masters have +long been, and still are, particularly celebrated for making excellent +classical and mathematical scholars. + +That a great deal of ludicrous pedantry generally accompanied this +knowledge is not at all surprising, when we consider the rank these +worthy teachers held in life, and the stretch of inflation at which +their pride was kept by the profound reverence excited by their learning +among the people. It is equally true, that each of them had a stock +of _crambos_ ready for accidental encounter, which would have puzzled +Euclid or Sir Isaac Newton himself; but even these trained their minds +to habits of acuteness and investigation. When a schoolmaster of this +class had established himself as a good mathematician, the predominant +enjoyment of his heart and life was to write the epithet Philomath after +his name; and this, whatever document he subscribed, was never omitted. +If he witnessed a will, it was Timothy Fagan, Philomath; if he put his +name to a promissory note, it was Tim. Pagan, Philomath; if he addressed +a love-letter to his sweetheart, it was still Timothy Fagan--or whatever +the name might be--Philomath; and this was always written in legible and +distinct copy-hand, sufficiently large to attract the observation of the +reader. + +It was also usual for a man who had been a preeminent and extraordinary +scholar, to have the epithet Great prefixed to his name. I remember one +of this description, who was called the Great O'Brien par excellence. In +the latter years of his life he gave up teaching, and led a circulating +life, going round from school to school, and remaining a week or a month +alternately among his brethren. His visits were considered an honor, +and raised considerably the literary character of those with whom he +resided; for he spoke of dunces with the most dignified contempt, and +the general impression was, that he would scorn even to avail himself of +their hospitality. Like most of his brethren, he could not live without +the poteen; and his custom was, to drink a pint of it in its native +purity before he entered into any literary contest, or made any display +of his learning at wakes or other Irish festivities; and most certainly, +however blamable the practice, and injurious to health and morals, it +threw out his talents and his powers in a most surprising manner. + +It was highly amusing to observe the peculiarity which the consciousness +of superior knowledge impressed upon the conversation and personal +appearance of this decaying race. Whatever might have been the original +conformation of their physical structure, it was sure, by the force of +acquired habit, to transform itself into a stiff, erect, consequential, +and unbending manner, ludicrously characteristic of an inflated sense of +their extraordinary knowledge, and a proud and commiserating contempt +of the dark ignorance by which, in despite of their own light, they were +surrounded. Their conversation, like their own _crambos_, was dark and +difficult to be understood; their words, truly sesquipedalian; their +voice, loud and commanding in its tones; their deportment, grave and +dictatorial, but completely indescribable, and certainly original to the +last degree, in those instances where the ready, genuine humor of their +country maintained an unyielding rivalry in their disposition, against +the natural solemnity which was considered necessary to keep up the due +dignity of their character. + +In many of these persons, where the original gayety of the disposition +was known, all efforts at the grave and dignified were complete +failures, and these were enjoyed by the peasantry and their own pupils, +nearly with the sensations which the enactment of Hamlet by Liston would +necessarily produce. At all events, their education, allowing for +the usual exceptions, was by no means superficial; and the reader has +already received a sketch of the trials which they had to undergo, +before they considered themselves qualified to enter upon the duties of +their calling. Their life was, in fact, a state of literary warfare; and +they felt that a mere elementary knowledge of their business would +have been insufficient to carry them, with suitable credit, through the +attacks to which they were exposed from travelling teachers, whose mode +of establishing themselves in schools, was, as I said, by driving away +the less qualified, and usurping their places. This, according to the +law of opinion and the custom which prevailed, was very easily effected, +for the peasantry uniformly encouraged those whom they supposed to be +the most competent; as to moral or religious instruction, neither was +expected from them, so that the indifference of the moral character was +no bar to their success. + +The village of Findramore was situated at the foot of a long green hill, +the outline of which formed a low arch, as it rose to the eye against +the horizon. This hill was studded with clumps of beeches, and sometimes +enclosed as a meadow. In the month of July, when the grass on it was +long, many an hour have I spent in solitary enjoyment, watching the +wavy motion produced upon its pliant surface by the sunny winds, or +the flight of the cloud-shadows, like gigantic phantoms, as they +swept rapidly over it, whilst the murmur of the rocking-trees, and +the glancing of their bright leaves in the sun produced a heartfelt +pleasure, the very memory of which rises in my imagination like some +fading recollection of a brighter world. At the foot of this hill ran a +clear, deep-banked river, bounded on one side by a slip of rich, level +meadow, and on the other by a kind of common for the village geese, +whose white feathers, during the summer season, lay scattered over its +green surface. It was also the play-ground for the boys of the village +school; for there ran that part of the river which, with very correct +judgment, the urchins had selected as their bathing-place. A little +slope, or watering-ground in the bank, brought them to the edge of +the stream, where the bottom fell away into the fearful depths of the +whirlpool, under the hanging oak on the other bank. Well do I remember +the first time I ventured to swim across it, and even yet do I see, +in imagination, the two bunches of water flaggons on which the +inexperienced swimmers trusted themselves in the water. + +About two hundred yards from this, the boreen (* A little road) which +led from the village to the main road, crossed the river, by one of +those old narrow bridges whose arches rise like round ditches across +the road--an almost impassable barrier to horse and car. On passing the +bridge in a northern direction, you found a range of low thatched houses +on each side of the road: and if one o'clock, the hour of dinner, drew +near, you might observe columns of blue smoke curling up from a row of +chimneys, some made of wicker creels plastered over with a rich coat of +mud; some, of old, narrow, bottomless tubs; and others, with a greater +appearance of taste, ornamented with thick, circular ropes of straw, +sewed together like bees' skeps, with a peel of a briar; and many having +nothing but the open vent above. But the smoke by no means escaped +by its legitimate aperture, for you might observe little clouds of it +bursting out of the doors and windows; the panes of the latter being +mostly stopped at other times with old hats and rags, were now left +entirely open for the purpose of giving it a free escape. + +Before the doors, on right and left, was a series of dunghills, each +with its concomitant sink of green, rotten water; and if it happened +that a stout-looking woman, with watery eyes, and a yellow cap hung +loosely upon her matted locks, came, with a chubby urchin on one arm, +and a pot of dirty water in her hand, its unceremonious ejection in the +aforesaid sink would be apt to send you up the village with your finger +and thumb (for what purpose you would yourself perfectly understand) +closely, but not knowingly, applied to your nostrils. But, independently +of this, you would be apt to have other reasons for giving your horse, +whose heels are by this time surrounded by a dozen of barking curs, and +the same number of shouting urchins, a pretty sharp touch of the spurs, +as well as for complaining bitterly of the odor of the atmosphere. It +is no landscape without figures; and you might notice, if you are, as +I suppose you to be, a man of observation, in every sink as you pass +along, a "slip of a pig," stretched in the middle of the mud, the very +beau ideal of luxury, giving occasionally a long, luxuriant grunt, +highly-expressive of his enjoyment; or, perhaps, an old farrower, lying +in indolent repose, with half a dozen young ones jostling each other for +their draught, and punching her belly with their little snouts, reckless +of the fumes they are creating; whilst the loud crow of the cock, as he +confidently flaps his wings on his own dunghill, gives the warning note +for the hour of dinner. + +As you advance, you will also perceive several faces thrust out of the +doors, and rather than miss a sight of you, a grotesque visage peeping +by a short cut through the paneless windows--or a tattered female flying +to snatch up her urchin that has been tumbling itself, heels up, in the +dust of the road, lest "the gentleman's horse might ride over it;" and +if you happen to look behind, you may observe a shaggy-headed youth in +tattered frieze, with one hand thrust indolently in his breast, standing +at the door in conversation with the inmates, a broad grin of sarcastic +ridicule on his face, in the act of breaking a joke or two upon +yourself, or your horse; or perhaps, your jaw may be saluted with a +lump of clay, just hard enough not to fall asunder as it flies, cast by +some ragged gorsoon from behind a hedge, who squats himself in a ridge +of corn to avoid detection. + +Seated upon a hob at the door, you may observe a toil-worn man, without +coat or waistcoat; his red, muscular, sunburnt shoulder peering through +the remnant of a skirt, mending his shoes with a piece of twisted +flax, called a _lingel_, or, perhaps, sewing two footless stockings (or +_martyeens_) to his coat, as a substitute for sleeves. + +In the gardens, which are usually fringed with nettles, you will see +a solitary laborer, working with that carelessness and apathy that +characterizes an Irishman when he labors for himself--leaning upon his +spade to look after you, glad of any excuse to be idle. The houses, +however, are not all such as I have described--far from it. You see here +and there, between the more humble cabins, a stout, comfortable-looking +farm-house, with ornamental thatching and well-glazed windows; +adjoining to which is a hay-yard, with five or six large stacks of corn, +well-trimmed and roped, and a fine, yellow, weather-beaten old hay-rick, +half cut--not taking into account twelve or thirteen circular strata of +stones, that mark out the foundations on which others had been raised. +Neither is the rich smell of oaten or wheaten bread, which the good wife +is baking on the griddle, unpleasant to your nostrils; nor would the +bubbling of a large pot, in which you might see, should you chance to +enter, a prodigious square of fat, yellow, and almost transparent bacon +tumbling about, to be an unpleasant object; truly, as it hangs over a +large fire, with well-swept hearthstone, it is in good keeping with the +white settle and chairs, and the dresser with noggins, wooden trenchers, +and pewter dishes, perfectly clean, and as well polished as a French +courtier. + +As you leave the village, you have, to the left, a view of the hill +which I have already described, and to the right a level expanse of +fertile country, bounded by a good view of respectable mountains, +peering decently into the sky; and in a line that forms an acute angle +from the point of the road where you ride, is a delightful valley, in +the bottom of which shines a pretty lake; and a little beyond, on the +slope of a green hill, rises a splendid house, surrounded by a park, +well wooded and stocked with deer. You have now topped the little hill +above the village, and a straight line of level road, a mile long, goes +forward to a country town, which lies immediately behind that white +church, with its spire cutting into the sky, before you. You descend on +the other side, and, having advanced a few perches, look to the left, +where you see a long, thatched chapel, only distinguished from a +dwelling-house by its want of chimneys and a small stone cross that +stands on the top of the eastern gable; behind it is a graveyard; and +beside it a snug public-house, well whitewashed; then, to the right, +you observe a door apparently in the side of a clay bank, which rises +considerably above the pavement of the road. What! you ask yourself, +can this be a human habitation?--but ere you have time to answer the +question, a confused buzz of voices from within reaches your ear, and +the appearance of a little "gorsoon," with a red, close-cropped head +and Milesian face, having in his hand a short, white stick, or the +thigh-bone of a horse, which you at once recognize as "the pass" of +a village school, gives you the full information. He has an ink horn, +covered with leather, dangling at the button-hole (for he has long +since played away the buttons) of his frieze jacket--his mouth is +circumscribed with a streak of ink--his pen is stuck knowingly behind +his ear--his shins are dotted over with fire-blisters, black, red, and +blue--on each heel a kibe--his "leather crackers," videlicet--breeches +shrunk up upon him, and only reaching as far down as the caps of his +knees. Having spied you, he places his hand over his brows, to throw +back the dazzling light of the sun, and peers at you from under it, till +he breaks out into a laugh, exclaiming, half to himself, half to you:-- + +"You a gintleman!--no, nor one of your breed never was, you procthorin' +thief, you!" + +You are now immediately opposite the door of the seminary, when half a +dozen of those seated next it notice you. + +"Oh, sir, here's a gintleman on a horse!--masther, sir, here's +a-gintleman on a horse, wid boots and spurs on him, that's looking in at +us." + +"Silence!" exclaims the master; "back from the door; boys, rehearse; +every one of you, rehearse, I say, you Boeotians, till the gintleman +goes past!" + +"I want to go out, if you plase, sir." + +"No, you don't, Phelim." + +"I do, indeed, sir." + +"What!--is it after conthradictin' me you'd be? Don't you see the +'porter's' out, and you can't go." + +"Well, 'tis Mat Meehan has it, sir: and he's out this half-hour, sir; I +can't stay in, sir--iplrfff--iphfff!" + +"You want to be idling your time looking at the gintleman, Phelim." + +"No, indeed, sir--iphfff!" + +"Phelim, I know you of ould--go to your sate. I tell you, Phelim, you +were born for the encouragement of the hemp manufacture, and you'll die +promoting it." + +In the meantime, the master puts his head out of the door, his body +stooped to a "half bend"--a phrase, and the exact curve which it forms, +I leave for the present to your own sagacity--and surveys you until you +pass. That is an Irish hedge school, and the personage who follows you +with his eye, a hedge schoolmaster. His name is Matthew Kavanagh; and, +as you seem to consider his literary establishment rather a curiosity in +its kind, I will, if you be disposed to hear it, give you the history of +him and his establishment, beginning, in the first place, with + + +THE ABDUCTION OF MAT KAVANAGH, + +THE HEDGE SCHOOLMASTER. + +For about three years before the period of which I write, the village +of Findramore, and the parish in which it lay, were without a teacher. +Mat's predecessor was a James Garraghty, a lame young man, the son of +a widow, whose husband lost his life in attempting to extinguish a fire +that broke out in the dwelling-house of Squire Johnston, a neighboring +magistrate. The son was a boy at the time of this disaster, and the +Squire, as some compensation for the loss of his father's life in his +service, had him educated at his own expense; that is to say, he gave +the master who taught in the village orders to educate him gratuitously, +on the condition of being horsewhipped out of the parish, if he refused. +As soon as he considered himself qualified to teach, he opened a school +in the village on his own account, where he taught until his death, +which happened in less than a year after the commencement of his little +seminary. The children usually assembled in his mother's cabin; but +as she did not long survive the son, this, which was at best a very +miserable residence, soon tottered to the ground. The roof and thatch +were burnt for firing, the mud gables fell in, and were overgrown with +grass, nettles, and docks; and nothing remained but a foot or two of +the little clay side-walls, which presented, when associated with the +calamitous fate of their inoffensive inmates, rather a touching image of +ruin upon a small scale. + +Garraghty had been attentive to his little pupils, and his instructions +were sufficient to give them a relish for education--a circumstance +which did not escape the observation of their parents, who duly +appreciated it. His death, however, deprived them of this advantage; and +as schoolmasters, under the old system, were always at a premium, it +so happened, that for three years afterwards, not one of that class +presented himself to their acceptance. Many a trial had been made, and +many a sly offer held out, as a lure to the neighboring teachers, but +they did not take; for although the country was densely inhabited, yet +it was remarked that no schoolmaster ever "thruv" in the neighborhood of +Findramore. The place, in fact, had got a bad name. Garraghty died, it +was thought, of poverty, a disease to which the Findramore schoolmasters +had been always known to be subject. His predecessor, too, was hanged, +along with two others, for burning the house of an "Aagint." + +Then the Findramore boys were not easily dealt with, having an ugly +habit of involving their unlucky teachers in those quarrels which they +kept up with the Ballyscanlan boys, a fighting clan that lived at the +foot of the mountains above them. These two factions, when they met, +whether at fair or market, wake or wedding, could never part without +carrying home on each side a dozen or two of bloody coxcombs. For these +reasons, the parish of Aughindrum had for a few years been afflicted +with an extraordinary dearth of knowledge; the only literary +establishment which flourished in it being a parochial institution, +which, however excellent in design, yet, like too many establishments of +the same nature, it degenerated into a source of knowledge, morals, and +education, exceedingly dry and unproductive to every person except the +master, who was enabled by his honest industry to make a provision for +his family absolutely surprising, when we consider the moderate nature +of his ostensible income. It was, in fact, like a well dried up, to +which scarcely any one ever thinks of going for water. + +Such a state of things, however, could not last long. The youth of +Findramore were parched for want of the dew of knowledge; and their +parents and grown brethren met one Saturday evening in Barny Brady's +shebeen-house, to take into consideration the best means for procuring +a resident schoolmaster for the village and neighborhood. It was a +difficult point, and required great dexterity of management to enable +them to devise any effectual remedy for the evil which they felt. There +were present at this council, Tim Dolan, the senior of the village, and +his three sons, Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, Owen Roe O'Neil, +Jack Traynor, and Andy Connell, with five or six others, whom it is not +necessary to enumerate. + +"Bring us in a quart, Barny," said Dolan to Brady, whom on this occasion +we must designate as the host; "and let it be rale hathen." + +"What do you mane, Tim?" replied the host. + +"I mane," continued Dolan, "stuff that was never christened, man alive." + +"Thin I'll bring you the same that Father Maguire got last night on his +way home afther anointin' 'ould Katty Duffy," replied Brady. "I'm sure, +whatever I might be afther giving to strangers, Tim, I'd be long sorry +to give _yous_ anything but the right sort." + +"That's a gay man, Barny," said Traynor, "but off wid you like a shot, +and let us get it under our tooth first, an' then we'll tell you more +about it--A big rogue is the same Barny," he added, after Brady had gone +to bring in the poteen, "an' never sells a dhrop that's not one whiskey +and five wathers." + +"But he couldn't expose it on you; Jack," observed Connell; "you're too +ould a hand about the pot for that. Warn't you in the mountains last +week?" + +"Ay: but the curse of Cromwell upon the thief of a gauger, +Simpson--himself and a pack o' redcoats surrounded us when we war +beginnin' to double, and the purtiest runnin' that ever you seen was +lost; for you see, before you could cross yourself, we had the bottoms +knocked clane out of the vessels; so that the villains didn't get a hole +in our coats, as they thought they would." + +"I tell you," observed O'Neil, "there's a bad pill* somewhere about us." + + * This means a treacherous person who cannot depended + upon. + +"Ay, is there, Owen," replied Traynor; "and what is more, I don't think +he's a hundhre miles from the place where we're sittin' in." + +"Faith, maybe so Jack," returned the other. + +"I'd never give into that," said Murphy. "'Tis Barny Brady that would +never turn informer--the same thing isn't in him, nor in any of his +breed; there's not a man in the parish I'd thrust sooner." + +"I'd jist thrust him," replied Traynor, "as far as I could throw a cow +by the tail. Arrah, what's the rason that the gauger never looks next +or near his place, an' it's well known that he sells poteen widout a +license, though he goes past his door wanst a week?" + +"What the h---- is keepin' him at all?" inquired one of Dolan's sons. + +"Look at him," said Traynor, "comin' in out of the garden; how much +afeard he is! keepin' the whiskey in a phatie ridge--an' I'd kiss the +book that he brought that bottle out in his pocket, instead of diggin' +it up out o' the garden." + +Whatever Brady's usual habits of _christening_ his poteen might have +been, that which he now placed before them was good. He laid the bottle +on a little deal table with cross legs, and along with it a small +drinking glass fixed in a bit of flat circular wood, as a substitute for +the original bottom, which had been broken. They now entered upon the +point, in question, without further delay. + +"Come, Tim," said Coogan, "you're the ouldest man, and must spake +first." + +"Troth, man," replied Dolan, "beggin' your pardon, I'll dhrink +first--healths apiece, your sowl; success boys--glory to ourselves, and +confusion to the Scanlon boys, any way." + +"And maybe," observed Connell, "'tis we that didn't lick them well in +the last fair--they're not able to meet the Findramore birds even on +their own walk." + +"Well, boys," said Delany, "about the masther? Our childre will grow +up like bullockeens (* little bullocks) widout knowing a ha'porth; and +larning, you see, is a burdyen that's asy carried." + +"Ay," observed O'Neil, "as Solvester Maguire, the poet, used to say-- + + 'Labor for larnin, before you grow ould, + For larnin' is better nor riches nor gould; + Riches an' gould they may vanquish away, + But larnin' alone it will never decay.'" + +"Success, Owen! Why, you might put down the pot and warm an air to it," +said Murphy. + +"Well, boys, are we all safe?" asked Traynor. + +"Safe?" said old Dolan. "Arrah, what are you talkin' about? Sure 'tisn't +of that same spalpeen of a gauger that we'd be afraid!" + +During this observation, young Dolan pressed Traynor's foot under the +table, and they both went out for about five minutes. + +"Father," said the son, when he and Traynor re-entered the room, "you're +a wanting home." + +"Who wants me, Larry, avick?" says the father. + +The son immediately whispered to him for a moment, when the old man +instantly rose, got his hat, and after drinking another bumper of the +poteen, departed. + +"Twas hardly worth while," said Delany; "the ould fellow is mettle to +the back-bone, an' would never show the garran-bane at any rate, even if +he knew all about it." + +"Bad end to the syllable I'd let the same ould cock hear," said the +son; "the divil thrust any man that didn't switch the primer (* take and +oath) for it, though he is my father; but now, boys, that the coast's +clear, and all safe--where will we get a schoolmaster? Mat Kavanagh +won't budge from the Scanlon boys, even if we war to put our hands +undher his feet; and small blame to him--sure, you would not expect him +to go against his own friends?" + +"Faith, the gorsoons is in a bad state," said Murphy; "but, boys where +will we get a man that's up? Why I know 'tis betther to have anybody nor +be without one; but we might kill two birds wid one stone--if we could +get a masther that would carry 'Articles,'* an' swear in the boys, from +time to time--an' between ourselves, if there's any danger of the hemp, +we may as well lay it upon strange shoulders." + + * A copy of the Whiteboy oath and regulations. + +"Ay, but since Corrigan swung for the Aagint," replied Delaney, "they're +a little modest in havin' act or part wid us; but the best plan is to +get an advartisement wrote out, an' have it posted on the chapel door." + +This hint was debated with much earnestness; but as they were really +anxious to have a master--in the first place, for the simple purpose of +educating their children; and in the next, for filling the situation of +director and regulator of their illegal Ribbon meetings--they determined +on penning an advertisement, according to the suggestion of Delaney. +After drinking another bottle, and amusing themselves with some further +chat, one of the Dolans undertook to draw up the advertisement, which +ran as follows:-- + +"ADVARTAAISEMENT." + +"_Notes to Schoolmasthers, and to all others whom it may consarn_. + +"WANTED, + +"For the nabourhood and the vircinity of the Townland of Findramore, in +the Parish of Aughindrum, in the Barony of Lisnamoghry, County of Sligo, +Province of Connaught, Ireland. + + +"TO SCHOOLMASTERS.' + +"Take Notes--That any Schoolmaster who understands Spellin' +gramatically--Readin' and Writin', in the raal way, accordin' to the +Dixonary--Arithmatick, that is to say, the five common rules, namely, +addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division--and addition, +subtraction, multiplication, and division, of Dives's denominations. +Also reduction up and down--cross multiplication of coin--the Rule +of Three Direck--the Rule of Three in verse--the double Rule of +Three--Frackshins taught according to the vulgar and decimatin' method; +and must be well practised to tache the Findramore boys how to manage +the Scuffle.* + + * The Scuffle was an exercise in fractions, illustrated + by a quarrel between the first four letters of the + alphabet, who went to loggerheads about a sugar-plum. + A, for instance, seized upon three-fourths of it; but B + snapped two-thirds of what he had got, and put it into + his hat; C then knocked off his hat, and as worthy Mr. + Gough says, "to Work they went." After kicking and + cuffing each other in prime style, each now losing and + again gaining alternately, the question is wound up by + requiring the pupil to ascertain what quantity of the + sugar-plum each had at the close. + +"N.B. He must be will grounded in _that_. Practis, Discount, and +_Rebatin'_. N.B. Must be well grounded in that also. + +"Tret and Tare--Fellowship--Allegation--Barther--Rates per +Scent--Intherest--Exchange--Prophet in Loss--the Square root--the Kibe +Root--Hippothenuse--'Arithmatical and Jommetrical Purgation--Compound +Intherest--Loggerheadism--Questions for exercise, and the Conendix to +Algibbra. He must also know Jommithry accordin' to Grunther's +scale--the Castigation of the Klipsticks--Surveying, and the use of the +Jacob-staff. + +"N.B. Would get a good dale of Surveyin' to do in the vircinity of +Findramore, particularly in _Con-acre_ time. If he know the use of the +globe, it would be an accusation. He must also understand the Three +Sets of Book-keeping, by single and double entry, particularly Loftus +& Company of Paris, their Account of Cash and Company. And above all +things, he must know how to tache the _Sarvin' of Mass_ in Latin, and be +able to read Doctor Gallaher's Irish Sarmints, and explain Kolumkill's +and Pasterini's Prophecies. + +"N.B. If he understands _Cudgel-fencin'_, it would be an accusation +also--but mustn't tache us wid a staff that bends in the middle, bekase +it breaks one's head across the guard. Any schoolmaster capacious and +collified to instruct in the above-mintioned branches, would get a good +school in the townland Findramore and its vircinity, be well fed, an' +get the hoith o' good livin' among the farmers, an' would be ped-- + +"For Book-keepin', the three sets, _a ginny and half_.' + +"For Gommethry, &c, _half a qinny a quarther_. + +"Arithmatic, _aight and three-hapuns_. + +"Readin", Writin', &c, _six Hogs_. + + +"Given under our hands, this 37th day of June, 18004. + + "Larry Dolan. + "Dick Dolan, his (X) mark. + "Jem Coogan, his (X) mark. + "Brine Murphey. + "Paddy Delany, his (X) mark. + "Jack Traynor. + "Andy Connell. + "Owen Roe O'Neil, his (X) mark." + + +"N.B. _By making airly application to any of the undher-mintioned, he +will hear of further particklers_; and if they find that he will shoot +them, he may expect the best o' thratement, an' be well fed among the +farmers.* + +"N.B. Would get also a good _Night-school_ among the vircinity." + + * Nothing can more decidedly prove the singular and + extraordinary thirst for education and general + knowledge which characterizes the Irish people, than + the shifts to which they have often gone in order to + gain even a limited portion of instruction. Of this the + Irish Night School is a complete illustration. The + Night School was always opened either for those of + early age, who from their poverty were forced to earn + something for their own support during the day; or to + assist their parents; or for grown young men who had + never had an opportunity of acquiring education in + their youth, but who now devoted a couple of hours + during a winter's night, when they could do nothing + else, to the acquisition of reading and writing, and + sometimes of accounts. I know not how it was, but the + Night School boys, although often thrown into the way + of temptation, always conducted themselves with + singular propriety. Indeed, the fact is, after all, + pretty easily accounted for--inasmuch as none but the + steadiest, _most_ sensible, and best conducted young + men ever attended it. + +Having penned the above advertisement, it was carefully posted early the +next morning on the chapel-doors, with an expectation on the part of the +patrons that it would not be wholly fruitless. The next week, however, +passed without an application--the second also--and the third produced +the same result; nor was there the slightest prospect of a school-master +being blown by any wind to the lovers of learning at Findramore. In the +meantime, the Ballyscanlan boys took care to keep up the ill-natured +prejudice which had been circulated concerning the fatality that +uniformly attended such schoolmasters as settled there; and when this +came to the ears of the Findramore folk, it was once more resolved that +the advertisement should be again put up, with a clause containing an +explanation on that point. The clause ran as follows: + +"N.B.--The two last masthers that was hanged out of Findramore, that +is, Mickey Corrigan, who was hanged for killing the Aagent, and Jem +Garraghty, that died of a declension--Jem died in consequence of +ill-health, and Mickey was hanged contrary to his own wishes; so that it +wasn't either of their faults--as witness our hands this 207th of July. + +"Dick Dolan, his (X) mark." + + +This explanation, however, was as fruitless as the original +advertisement; and week after week passed over without an offer from +a single candidate. The "vicinity" of Findramore and its "naborhood" +seemed devoted to ignorance; and nothing remained, except another effort +at procuring a master by some more ingenious contrivance. + +Debate after debate was consequently held in Barney Brady's; and, until +a fresh suggestion was made by Delany, the prospect seemed as bad as +ever. Delany, at length fell upon a new plan; and it must be confessed, +that it was marked in a peculiar manner by a spirit of great originality +and enterprise, it being nothing less than a proposal to carry off, +by force or stratagem, Mat Kavanagh, who was at that time fixed in the +throne of literature among the Ballyscanlan boys, quite unconscious of +the honorable translation to the neighborhood of Findramore which was +intended for him. The project, when broached, was certainly a startling +one, and drove most of them to a pause, before they were sufficiently +collected to give an opinion on its merits. + +"Nothin', boys, is asier," said Delaney. "There's to be a patthern +in Ballymagowan, on next Sathurday--an' that's jist half way betune +ourselves and the Scanlan boys. Let us musther, an' go there, any how. +We can keep an eye on Mat widout much trouble, an' when opportunity +sarves, nick him at wanst, an' off wid him clane." + +"But," said Traynor, "what would we do wid him when he'd be here? +Wouldn't he cut an' run the first opportunity. + +"How can he, ye omadhawn, if we put a manwill* in our pocket, an' sware +him? But we'll butther him up when he's among us; or, be me sowks, if it +goes that, force him either to settle wid ourselves, or to make himself +scarce in the country entirely." + + * Manual, a Roman Catholic prayer-book, generally + pronounced as above. + +"Divil a much force it'll take to keep him, I'm thinkin'," observed +Murphy. "He'll have three times a betther school here; and if he wanst +settled, I'll engage he would take to it kindly." + +"See here, boys," says Dick Dolan, in a whisper, "if that bloody +villain, Brady, isn't afther standin' this quarter of an hour, strivin' +to hear what we're about; but it's well we didn't bring up anything +consarnin' the other business; didn't I tell yees the desate was in 'im? +Look at his shadow on the wall forninst us." + +"Hould yer tongues, boys," said Traynor; "jist keep never mindin', and, +be me sowks, I'll make him sup sorrow for that thrick." + +"You had betther neither make nor meddle wid him," observed Delany, +"jist put him out o' that--but don't rise yer hand to him, or he'll +sarve you as he did Jem Flannagan: put ye three or four months in the +_Stone Jug_" (* Gaol). + +Traynor, however, had gone out while he was speaking, and in a +few minutes dragged in Brady, whom he caught in the very act of +eaves-dropping. + +"Jist come in, Brady," said Traynor, as he dragged him along; "walk in, +man alive; sure, and sich an honest man as you are needn't be afeard of +lookin' his friends in the face! Ho!--an' be me sowl, is it a spy we've +got; and, I suppose, would be an informer' too, if he had heard anything +to tell!" + +"What's the manin' of this, boys?" exclaimed the others, feigning +ignorance. "Let the honest man go, Traynor. What do ye hawl him that way +for, ye gallis pet'?" + +"Honest!" replied Traynor; "how very honest he is, the desavin' villain, +to be stand-in' at the windy there, wantin' to overhear the little +harmless talk we had." + +"Come, Traynor," said Brady, seizing him in his turn by the neck, "take +your hands off of me, or, bad fate to me, but I'll lave ye a mark." + +Traynor, in his turn, had his hand twisted in Brady's cravat, which he +drew tightly about his neck, until the other got nearly black in the +face. + +"Let me go you villain!" exclaimed Brady, "or, by this blessed night +that's in it, it'll be worse for you." + +"Villain, is it?" replied Traynor, making a blow at him, whilst Brady +snatched, at a penknife, which one of the others had placed on the +table, after picking the tobacco out of his pipe--intending either to +stab Traynor, or to cut the knot of the cravat by which he was held. The +others, however, interfered, and presented further mischief. + +"Brady," said Traynor, "you'll rue this night, if ever a man did, you +tracherous in-formin' villian. What an honest spy we have among us!--and +a short coorse to you!" + +"O, hould yer tongue, Traynor!" replied Brady: "I believe it's best +known who is both the spy and the informer. The divil a pint of poteen +ever you'll run in this parish, until you clear yourself of bringing +the gauger on the Tracys, bekase they tuck Mick M'Kew, in preference to +yourself, to run it for them." + +Traynor made another attempt to strike him, but was prevented. The rest +now interfered; and, in the course of an hour or so, an adjustment took +place. + +Brady took up the tongs, and swore "by that blessed iron," that he +neither heard, nor intended to hear, anything they said; and this +exculpation was followed by a fresh bottle at his own expense. + +"You omadhawn," said he to Traynor, "I was only puttin' up a dozen o' +bottles into the tatch of the house, when you thought I was listenin';" +and, as a proof of the truth of this, he brought them out, and showed +them some bottles of poteen, neatly covered up under the thatch. + +Before their separation they finally planned the abduction of Kavanagh +from the Patron, on the Saturday following, and after drinking another +round went home to their respective dwellings. + +In this speculation, however, they experienced a fresh disappointment; +for, ere Saturday arrived, whether in consequence of secret intimation +of their intention from Brady, or some friend, or in compliance with the +offer of a better situation, the fact was, that Mat Kavanagh had removed +to another school, distant about eighteen miles from Findramore. But +they were not to be outdone; a new plan was laid, and in the course +of the next week a dozen of the most enterprising and intrepid of the +"boys," mounted each upon a good horse, went to Mat's new residence for +the express purpose of securing him. + +Perhaps our readers may scarcely believe that a love of learning was so +strong among the inhabitants of Findramore as to occasion their taking +such remarkable steps for establishing a schoolmaster among them; but +the country was densely inhabited, the rising population exceedingly +numerous, and the outcry for a schoolmaster amongst the parents of the +children loud and importunate. + +The fact, therefore, was, that a very strong motive stimulated the +inhabitants of Findramore in their efforts to procure a master. The +old and middle-aged heads of families were actuated by a simple wish, +inseparable from Irishmen, to have their children educated; and the +young men, by a determination to have a properly qualified person to +conduct their Night Schools, and improve them in their reading, writing, +and arithmetic. The circumstance I am now relating is one which actually +took place: and any man acquainted with the remote parts of Ireland, may +have often seen bloody and obstinate quarrels among the peasantry, in +vindicating a priority of claim to the local residence of a schoolmaster +among them. I could, within my own experience, relate two or three +instances of this nature. + +It was one Saturday night, in the latter end of the month of May, that +a dozen Findramore "boys," as they were called, set out upon this most +singular of all literary speculations, resolved, at whatever risk, to +secure the person and effect the permanent bodily presence among them of +the Redoubtable Mat Kavanagh. Each man was mounted on a horse, and one +of them brought a spare steed for the accommodation of the schoolmaster. +The caparison of this horse was somewhat remarkable: wooden straddle, +such as used by the peasantry for carrying wicker paniers creels, +which are hung upon two wooden pins, that stand up out of its sides. +Underneath was a straw mat, to prevent the horse's back from being +stripped by it. On one side of this hung a large creel, and on the other +a strong sack, tied round a stone merely of sufficient weight to balance +the empty creel. The night was warm and clear, the moon and stars all +threw their mellow light from a serene, unclouded sky, and the repose of +nature in the short nights of this delightful season, resembles that of +a young virgin of sixteen--still, light, and glowing. Their way, for the +most part of their journey, lay through a solitary mountain-road; and, +as they did not undertake the enterprise without a good stock of poteen, +their light-hearted songs and choruses awoke the echoes that slept in +the mountain glens as they went along. The adventure, it is true, had +as much of frolic as of seriousness in it; and merely as the means of a +day's fun for the boys, it was the more eagerly entered into. + +It was about midnight when they left home, and as they did not wish to +arrive at the village to which they were bound, until the morning should +be rather advanced, the journey was as slowly performed as possible. +Every remarkable object on the way was noticed, and its history, if +any particular association was connected with it, minutely detailed, +whenever it happened to be known. When the sun rose, many beautiful +green spots and hawthorn valleys excited, even from these unpolished and +illiterate peasants, warm bursts of admiration at their fragrance and +beauty. In some places, the dark flowery heath clothed the mountains +to the tops, from which the gray mists, lit by a flood of light, and +breaking into masses before the morning breeze, began to descend into +the valleys beneath them; whilst the voice of the grouse, the bleating +of sheep and lambs, the pee-weet of the wheeling lap-wing, and the +song of the lark threw life and animation the previous stillness of the +country, sometimes a shallow river would cross the road winding off into +a valley that was overhung, on one side, by rugged precipices clothed +with luxurious heath and wild ash; whilst on the other it was skirted +by a long sweep of greensward, skimmed by the twittering swallow, over +which lay scattered numbers of sheep, cows, brood mares, and colts--many +of them rising and stretching themselves ere they resumed their pasture, +leaving the spots on which they lay of a deeper green. Occasionally, +too, a sly-looking fox might be seen lurking about a solitary lamb, or +brushing over the hills with a fat goose upon his back, retreating +to his den among the inaccessible rocks, after having plundered some +unsuspecting farmer. + +As they advanced into the skirts of the cultivated country, they met +many other beautiful spots of scenery among the upland, considerable +portions of which, particularly in long sloping valleys, that faced the +morning sun, were covered with hazel and brushwood, where the unceasing +and simple notes of the cuckoo were incessantly plied, mingled with the +more mellow and varied notes of the thrush and blackbird. Sometimes the +bright summer waterfall seemed, in the rays of the sun, like a column +of light, and the springs that issued from the sides of the more distant +and lofty mountains shone with a steady, dazzling brightness, on which +the eye could scarcely rest. The morning, indeed, was beautiful, the +fields in bloom, and every thing cheerful. As the sun rose in the +heavens, nature began gradually to awaken into life and happiness; nor +was the natural grandeur of a Sabbath summer morning among these piles +of magnificent mountains--nor its heartfelt, but more artificial beauty +in the cultivated country, lost, even upon the unphilosophical "boys" +of Findramore; so true is it, that such exquisite appearances of nature +will force enjoyment upon the most uncultivated heart. + +When they had arrived within two miles of the little town in which Mat +Kavanagh was fixed, they turned off into a deep glen, a little to the +left; and, after having seated themselves under a white-thorn which +grew on the banks of a rivulet, they began to devise the best immediate +measures to be taken. + +"Boys," said Tim Dolan, "how will we manage now with this thief of a +schoolmaster, at all? Come, Jack Traynor, you that's up to still-house +work--escapin' and carryin' away stills from gaugers, the bloody +villains! out wid yer spake, till we hear your opinion." + +"Do ye think, boys," said Andy Connell, "that we could flatter him to +come by fair mains?" + +"Flatther him!" said Traynor; "and, by my sowl, if we flatther him at +all, it must be by the hair of the head. No, no; let us bring him first, +whether he will or not, an' ax his consent aftherwards!" + +"I'll tell you what it is, boys," continued Connell, "I'll hould a +wager, if you lave him to me, I'll bring him wid his own consint." + +"No, nor sorra that you'll do, nor could do," replied Traynor: "for, +along wid every thing else, he thinks he's not jist doated on by the +Findramore people, being one of the Ballyscanlan tribe. No, no; let two +of us go to his place, and purtind that we have other business in the +fair of Clansallagh on Monday next, and ax him in to dhrink, for he'll +not refuse that, any how; then, when he's half tipsy, ax him to convoy +us this far; we'll then meet you here, an' tell him some palaver or +other--sit down where we are now, and, afther making him dead dhrunk, +hoist a big stone in the creel, and Mat in the sack, on the other side, +wid his head out, and off wid him; and he will know neither act nor part +about it till we're at Findramore." + +Having approved of this project, they pulled out each a substantial +complement of stout oaten bread, which served, along with the whiskey, +for breakfast. The two persons pitched on for decoying Mat were Dolan +and Traynor, who accordingly set out, full of glee at the singularity +and drollness of their undertaking. It is unnecessary to detail the +ingenuity with which they went about it, because, in consequence of +Kavanagh's love of drink, very little ingenuity was necessary. +One circumstance, however, came to light, which gave them much +encouragement, and that was a discovery that Mat by no means relished +his situation. + +In the meantime, those who stayed behind in the glen felt their patience +begin to flag a little, because of the delay made by the others, who had +promised, if possible, to have the schoolmaster in the glen before +two o'clock. But the fact was, that Mat, who was far less deficient in +hospitality than in learning, brought them into his house, and not only +treated them to plenty of whiskey, but made the wife prepare a dinner, +for which he detained them, swearing, that except they stopped to +partake of it, he would not convoy them to the place appointed. Evening +was, therefore, tolerably far advanced, when they made their appearance +at the glen, in a very equivocal state of sobriety--Mat being by far the +steadiest of the three, but still considerably the worse for what he +had taken. He was now welcomed by a general huzza; and on his expressing +surprise at their appearance, they pointed to their horses, telling him +that they were bound for the fair of Clansallagh, for the purpose of +selling them. This was the more probable, as, when a fair occurs in +Ireland, it is usual for cattle-dealers, particularly horse-jockeys, to +effect sales, and "show" their horses on the evening before. + +Mat now sat down, and was vigorously plied with strong poteen--songs +were sung, stories told, and every device resorted to that was +calculated to draw out and heighten his sense of enjoyment; nor were +their efforts without success; for, in the course of a short time, Mat +was free from all earthly care, being incapable of either speaking or +standing. + +"Now, boys," said Dolan, "let us do the thing clane an' dacent. Let you, +Jem Coogan, Brian Murphy, Paddy Delany, and Andy O'Donnell, go back, and +tell the wife and two childher a cock-and-a-bull story about Mat--say +that he is coming to Findramore for good and all, and that'll be thruth, +you know; and that he ordhered yez to bring her and them afther him; and +we can come back for the furniture to-morrow." + +A word was enough--they immediately set off; and the others, not wishing +that Mat's wife should witness the mode of his conveyance, proceeded +home, for it was now dusk. The plan succeeded admirably; and in a short +time the wife and children, mounted behind the "boys" on the horses, +were on the way after them to Findramore. + +The reader is already aware of the plan they had adopted for translating +Mat; but, as it was extremely original, I will explain it somewhat more +fully. The moment the schoolmaster was intoxicated to the necessary +point--that is to say, totally helpless and insensible--they opened the +sack and put him in, heels foremost, tying it in such a way about his +neck as might prevent his head from getting into it: thus avoiding the +danger of suffocation. The sack, with Mat at full length in it, was then +fixed to the pin of the straddle, so that he was in an erect posture +during the whole journey. A creel was then hung at the other side, in +which was placed a large stone, of sufficient weight to preserve an +equilibrium; and, to prevent any accident, a droll fellow sat astride +behind the straddle, amusing himself and the rest by breaking jokes upon +the novelty of Mat's situation. + +"Well, Mat, _ma bouchal_, how duv ye like your sitivation? I believe, +for all your larnin', the Findramore boys have sacked you at last!" + + +[Illustration: PAGE 831-- The Findramore boys have sacked you at last] + + +"Ay!" exclaimed another, "he is sacked at last, in spite of his +Matthew-maticks." + +"An', be my sowks," observed Traynor, "he'd be a long time goin' up a +Maypowl in the state he's in--his own snail would bate him."* + + * This alludes to a question in Gough's Arithmetic, + which is considered difficult by hedge schoolmasters. + +"Yes," said another; "but he desarves credit for travelin' from +Clansallagh to Findramore, widout layin' a foot to the ground-- + + "'Wan day wid Captain Whiskey I wrastled a fall, + But faith I was no match for the captain at all-- + But faith I was no match for the captain at all, + Though the landlady's measures they were damnable small. + Tooral, looral, looral lorral lido.' + +Whoo--hurroo! my darlings--success to the Findramore boys! +Hurroo--hurroo--the Findramore boys for ever!" + +"Boys, did ever ye hear the song Mat made on Ned Mullen's fight wid +Jemmy Connor's gander? Well here is part of it, to the tune of 'Brian +O'Lynn'-- + + 'As Ned and the gander wor basting each other, + I hard a loud cry from the gray goose, his mother; + I ran to assist him, wid very great speed. + But before I arrived the poor gander did bleed. + + 'Alas!' says the gander, 'I'm very ill-trated, + For traicherous Mullen has me fairly defated; + Bud had you been here for to show me fair play, + I could leather his _puckan_ around the lee bray.' + +"Bravo! Matt," addressing the insensible schoolmaster--"success, poet. +Hurroo for the Findramore boys! the Bridge boys for ever!" + +They then commenced, in a tone of mock gravity, to lecture him upon +his future duties--detailing the advantages of his situation, and the +comforts he would enjoy among them--although they might as well have +addressed themselves to the stone on the other side. In this manner they +got along, amusing themselves at Mat's expense, and highly elated at the +success of their undertaking. About three o'clock in the morning they +reached the top of the little hill above the village, when, on looking +back along the level stretch of road which I have already described, +they noticed their companions, with Mat's wife and children, moving +briskly after them. A general huzza now took place, which, in a few +minutes, was answered by two or three dozen of the young folks, who +were assembled in Barny Brady's waiting for their arrival. The scene now +became quite animated--cheer after cheer succeeded--jokes, laughter, and +rustic wit, pointed by the spirit of Brady's poteen, flew briskly +about. When Mat was unsacked, several of them came up, and shaking him +cordially by the hand, welcomed him among them. To the kindness of +this reception, however, Mat was wholly insensible, having been for the +greater part of the journey in a profound sleep. The boys now slipped +the loop of the sack off the straddle-pin; and, carrying Mat into a +farmer's house, they deposited him in a settle-bed, where he slept +unconscious of the journey he had performed, until breakfast-time on the +next morning. In the mean time, the wife and children were taken care of +by Mrs. Connell, who provided them with a bed, and every other comfort +which they could require. + +The next morning, when Mat awoke, his first call was for a drink. I +should have here observed, that Mrs. Kavanagh had been sent for by the +good woman in whose house Mat had slept, that they might all breakfast +and have a drop together, for they had already succeeded in reconciling +her to the change. "Wather!" said Mat--"a drink of wather, if it's to +be had for love or money, or I'll split wid druth--I'm all in a state +of conflagration; and my head--by the sowl of Newton, the inventor of +fluxions, but my head is a complete illucidation of the centrifugal +motion, so it is. Tundher-an'-turf! is there no wather to be had? Nancy, +I say, for God's sake, quicken yourself with the hydraulics, or the best +mathematician in Ireland's gone to the abode of Euclid and Pythagoras, +that first invented the multiplication table." + +On cooling his burning blood with the "hydraulics," he again lay down +with the intention of composing himself for another sleep; but his eye +having noticed the novelty of his situation, he once more called Nancy. + +"Nancy avourneen," he inquired, "will you be afther resolving me one +single proposition.--Where am I at the present spaking? Is it in the +Siminary at home, Nancy?" Nancy, in the mean time, had been desired to +answer in the affirmative, hoping that if his mind was made easy on that +point, he might refresh himself by another hour or two's sleep, as +he appeared to be not at all free from the effects of his previous +intoxication. + +"Why, Mat, jewel, where else could you be, alannah, but at home? Sure +isn't here Jack, an' Biddy, an' myself, Mat, agra, along wid me. Your +head isn't well, but all you want is a good rousin' sleep." + +"Very well, Nancy; very well, that's enough--quite satisfactory--quod +erat demonstrandum. May all kinds of bad luck rest upon the Findramore +boys, any way! The unlucky vagabonds--I'm the third they've done up. +Nancy, off wid ye, like quicksilver for the priest." + +"The priest! Why, Mat, jewel, what puts that into your head? Sure, +there's nothing wrong wid ye, only the sup o' drink you tuck yesterday." + +"Go, woman," said Mat; "did you ever know me to make a wrong +calculation--I tell you I'm non compos mentis from head to heel. Head! +by my sowl, Nancy, it'll soon be a capui mortuum wid me--I'm far gone +in a disease they call an opthical delusion--the devil a thing less it +is--me bein' in my own place, an' to think I'm lyin' in a settle bed; +that there is a large dresser, covered wid pewter dishes and plates; and +to crown all, the door on the wrong side of the house! Off wid ye, and +tell his Reverence that I want to be anointed, and to die in pace and +charity wid all men. May the most especial kind of bad luck light down +upon you, Findramore, and all that's in you, both man and baste--you +have given me my gruel along wid the rest; but, thank God, you won't +hang me, any how! Off, Nancy, for the priest, till I die like a +Christhan, in pace and forgiveness wid the world;--all kinds of hard +fortune to them! Make haste, woman, if you expect me to die like a +Christhan. If they had let me alone till I'd publish to the world my +Treatise upon Conic Sections--but to be cut off on my march to fame! +another draught of the hydraulics, Nancy, an' then for the priest--But +see, bring Father Connell, the curate, for he understands something +about Matthew-maticks; an' never heed Father Roger, for divil a thing +he knows about them, not even the difference between a right line and a +curve--in the page of histhory, to his everlasting disgrace, be the same +recorded!" + +"Mat," replied Nancy, scarcely preserving her gravity, "keep yourself +from talkin', an' fall asleep, then you'll be well enough." + +"Is there e'er a sup at all in the house?" said Mat; "if there is, +let me get it; for there's an ould proverb, though it's a most +unmathematical axiom as ever was invinted--'try a hair of the same dog +that bit you;' give me a glass, Nancy, an' you can go for Father Connell +after. Oh, by the sowl of Isaac, that invented fluxions, what's this +for?" + +A general burst-of laughter followed this demand and ejaculation; and +Mat sat up once more in the settle, and examined the place with keener +scrutiny. Nancy herself laughed heartily; and, as she handed him the +full glass, entered into an explanation of the circumstances attending +his translation. Mat, at all times rather of pliant disposition, felt +rejoiced on finding that he was still compos mentis; and on hearing what +took place, he could not help entering into the humor of the enterprise, +at which he laughed as heartily as any of them. + +"Mat," said, the farmer, and half a dozen of the neighbors, "you're a +happy man, there's a hundred of the boys have a school-house half built +for you this same blessed sunshiny mornin', while your lying at aise in +your bed." + +"By the sowl of Newton, that invented fluxions!" replied Mat, "but I'll +take revenge for the disgrace you put upon my profession, by stringing +up a schoolmaster among you, and I'll hang you all! It's death to steal +a four-footed animal; but what do you desarve for stealin' a Christian +baste, a two-legged schoolmaster without feathers, eighteen miles, and +he not to know it?" + +In the course of a short time Mat was dressed, and having found benefit +from the "hair of the dog that bit him," he tried another glass, which +strung his nerves, or, as he himself expressed it--"they've got the rale +mathematical tinsion again." What the farmer said, however, about the +school-house had been true. Early that morning all the growing and grown +young men of Findramore and its "vircinity" had assembled, selected +a suitable spot, and, with merry hearts, were then busily engaged in +erecting a school-house for their general accomodation. + +The manner of building hedge school-houses being rather curious, I will +describe it. The usual spot selected for their erection is a ditch in +the road-side; in some situation where there will be as little damp as +possible. From such a spot an excavation is made equal to the size of +the building, so that, when this is scooped out, the back side-wall, and +the two gables are already formed, the banks being dug perpendicularly. +The front side-wall, with a window in each side of the door, is then +built of clay or green sods laid along in rows; the gables are also +topped with sods, and, perhaps, a row or two laid upon the back +side-wall, if it should be considered too low. Having got the erection +of Mat's house thus far, they procured a scraw-spade, and repaired with +a couple of dozen of cars to the next bog, from which they cut the light +heathy surface in strips the length of the roof. A scraw-spade is an +instrument resembling the letter T, with an iron plate at the lower +end, considerably bent, and well adapted to the purpose for which it is +intended. Whilst one party cut the scraws, another bound the _couples +and bauks_* and a third cut as many green branches as were sufficient to +wattle it. The couples, being bound, were raised--the ribs laid on--then +the wattles, and afterwards the scraws. + + * The couples are shaped like the letter A, and sustain + the roof; the bauks, or rafters, cross them from one + side to another like the line inside the letter. + +Whilst these successive processes went forward, many others had been +engaged all the morning cutting rushes; and the scraws were no sooner +laid on, than half a dozen thatchers mounted the roof, and long before +the evening was closed, a school-house, capable of holding near two +hundred children, was finished. But among the peasantry no new house is +ever put up without a hearth-warming and a dance. Accordingly the clay +floor was paired--a fiddler procured--Barny Brady and his stock +of poteen sent for; the young women of the village and surrounding +neighborhood attended in their best finery; dancing commenced--and +it was four o'clock the next morning when the merry-makers departed, +leaving Mat a new home and a hard floor, ready for the reception of his +scholars. + +Business now commenced. At nine o'clock the next day Mat's furniture +was settled in a small cabin, given to him at a cheap rate by one of the +neighboring farmers; for, whilst the school-house was being built, +two men, with horses and cars, had gone to Clansallagh, accompanied +by Nancy, and removed the furniture, such as it was, to their new +residence. Nor was Mat, upon the whole, displeased at what had happened; +for he was now fixed in a flourishing country--fertile and well +cultivated; nay, the bright landscape which his school-house commanded +was sufficient in itself to reconcile him to his situation. The +inhabitants were in comparatively good circumstances; many of them +wealthy, respectable farmers, and capable of remunerating him very +decently for his literary labors; and what was equally flattering, there +was a certainty of his having a numerous and well-attended school in a +neighborhood with whose inhabitants he was acquainted. + +Honest, kind-hearted Paddy!--pity that you should ever feel distress or +hunger--pity that you should be compelled to seek, in another land, the +hard-earned pittance by which you keep the humble cabin over your chaste +wife and naked children! Alas! what noble materials for composing a +national character, of which humanity might be justly proud, do the +lower orders of the Irish possess, if raised and cultivated by an +enlightened education! Pardon me, gentle reader, for this momentary +ebullition; I grant I am a little dark now. I assure you, however, the +tear of enthusiastic admiration is warm on my eye-lids, when I remember +the flitches of bacon, the sacks of potatoes, the bags of meal, the +miscowns of butter, and the dishes of eggs--not omitting crate after +crate of turf which came in such rapid succession to Mat Kavanagh, +during the first week on which he opened his school. Ay, and many a +bottle of stout poteen, when + +"The eye of the gauger saw it not," + +was, with a sly, good-humored wink, handed over to Mat, or Nancy, no +matter which, from under the comfortable drab jock, with velvet-covered +collar, erect about the honest, ruddy face of a warm, smiling farmer, +or even the tattered frieze of a poor laborer--anxious to secure +the attention of the "masther" to his little "Shoneen," whom, in the +extravagance of his ambition, he destined to "wear the robes as a +clargy." Let no man say, I repeat, that the Irish are not fond of +education. + +In the course of a month Mat's school was full to the door posts, for, +in fact, he had the parish to himself--many attending from a distance +of three, four, and five miles. His merits, however, were believed to +be great, and his character for learning stood high, though unjustly +so: for a more superficial, and at the same time, a more presuming +dunce never existed; but his character alone could secure him a good +attendance; he, therefore, belied the unfavorable prejudices against +the Findramore folk, which had gone abroad, and was a proof, in his own +person, that the reason of the former schoolmasters' miscarriage lay in +the belief of their incapacity which existed among the people. But Mat +was one of those showy, shallow fellows, who did not lack for assurance. + +The first step a hedge schoolmaster took, on establishing himself in +a school, was to write out, in his best copperplate hand, a flaming +advertisement, detailing, at full length, the several branches he +professed himself capable of teaching. I have seen many of these--as who +that is acquainted with Ireland has not?--and, beyond all doubt, if +the persons that issued them were acquainted with the various +heads recapitulated, they must have been buried in the most profound +obscurity, as no man but a walking Encyclopaedia--an admirable +Crichton--could claim an intimacy with them, embracing, as they often +did, the whole circle of human knowledge. 'Tis true, the vanity of the +pedagogue had full scope in these advertisements, as there was none to +bring him to an account, except some rival, who could only attack him +on those practical subjects which were known to both. Independently of +this, there was a good-natured collusion between them on those points +which were beyond their knowledge, inasmuch as they were not practical +but speculative, and by no means involved their character or personal +interests. On the next Sunday, therefore, after Mat's establishment at +Findrainore, you might see a circle of the peasantry assembled at the +chapel door, perusing, with suitable reverence and admiration on their +faces, the following advertisement; or, perhaps, Mat himself, with a +learned, consequential air, in the act of "expounding" it to them. + +"Mr. Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath and' Professor of the Learned +Languages, begs leave to inform the Inhabitants of Findramore and' its +vicinity, that he lectures on the following branches of Education, in +his Seminary at the above-recited place:-- + +"Spelling, Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, upon altogether new +principles, hitherto undiscovered by any excepting himself, and for +which he expects a Patent from Trinity College, Dublin; or, at any +rate, from Squire Johnston, Esq., who paternizes many of the pupils; +Book-keeping, by single and double entry--Geometry, Trigonometry, +Stereometry, Mensuration, Navigation, Guaging, Surveying, Dialling, +Astronomy, Astrology, Austerity, Fluxions, Geography, ancient and +modern--Maps, the Projection of the Sphere--Algebra, the Use of the +Globes, Natural and Moral Philosophy, Pneumatics, Optics, Dioptics, +Catroptics, Hydraulics, Erostatics, Geology, Glorification, Divinity, +Mythology, Medicinality, Physic, by theory only, Metaphysics +practically, Chemistry, Electricity, Galvanism, Mechanics, Antiquities, +Agriculture, Ventilation, Explosion, etc. + +"In Classics--Grammar, Cordery, AEsop's Fables, Erasmus' Colloquies, +Cornelius Nepos, Phaedrus, Valerius Maximus, Justin, Ovid, Sallust, +Virgil, Horace, Juvenal, Persius, Terence, Tully's Offices, Cicero, +Manouverius Turgidus, Esculapius, Rogerius, Satanus Nigrus, Quinctilian, +Livy, Thomas Aquinas, Cornelius Agrippa, and Cholera Morbus. + +"Greek Grammar, Greek Testament, Lucian, Homer, Sophocles, AEschylus, +Thucydides, Aristophanes, Xenophon, Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and the +Works of Alexander the Great; the manners, habits, customs, usages, and +the meditations of the Grecians; the Greek Digamma resolved, Prosody, +Composition, both in prose and verse, and Oratory, in English, Latin and +Greek; together with various other branches of learning and scholastic +profundity--_quoi enumerare longum est_--along with Irish Radically, and +a small taste of Hebrew upon the Masoretic text. + +"Matthew Kavanagh, Philomath." (* See note at the end of this sketch.) + +Having posted this document upon the hapel-door, and in all the public +places and cross roads of the parish, Mat considered himself as having +done his duty. He now began to teach, and his school continued to +increase to his heart's content, every day bringing him fresh scholars. +In this manner he flourished till the beginning of winter, when those +boys, who, by the poverty of their parents, had been compelled to go +to service to the neighboring farmers, flocked to him in numbers, quite +voracious for knowledge. An addition was consequently built to the +school-house, which was considerably too small; so that, as Christmas +approached, it would be difficult to find a more numerous or merry +establishment under the roof of a hedge school. But it is time to give +an account of its interior. + +The reader will then be pleased to picture to himself such a house as I +have already described--in a line with the hedge; the eave of the back +roof within a foot of the ground behind it; a large hole exactly in the +middle of the "riggin'," as a chimney; immediately under which is an +excavation in the floor, burned away by a large fire of turf, loosely +heaped together. This is surrounded by a circle of urchins, sitting +on the bare earth, stones, and hassocks, and exhibiting a series of +speckled shins, all radiating towards the fire, like sausages on a +Poloni dish. There they are--wedged as close as they can sit; one with +half a thigh off his breeches--another with half an arm off his tattered +coat--a third without breeches at all, wearing, as a substitute, a piece +of his mother's old petticoat, pinned about his loins--a fourth, no +coat--a fifth, with a cap on him, because he has got a scald, from +having sat under the juice of fresh hung bacon--a sixth with a black +eye--a seventh two rags about his heels to keep his kibes clean--an +eighth crying to get home, because he has got a headache, though it may +be as well to hint, that there is a drag-hunt to start from beside his +father's in the course of the day. In this ring, with his legs stretched +in a most lordly manner, sits, upon a deal chair, Mat himself, with +his hat on, basking in the enjoyment of unlimited authority. His dress +consists of a black coat, considerably in want of repair, transferred to +his shoulders through the means of a clothes-broker in the county-town; +a white cravat, round a large stuffing, having that part which comes in +contact with the chin somewhat streaked with brown--a black waistcoat, +with one or two "tooth-an'-egg" metal buttons sewed on where the +original had fallen off--black corduroy inexpressibles, twice dyed, and +sheep's-gray stockings. In his hand is a large, broad ruler, the emblem +of his power, the woful instrument of executive justice, and the signal +of terror to all within his jurisdiction. In a corner below is a pile +of turf, where on entering, every boy throws his two sods, with a hitch +from under his left arm. He then comes up to the master, catches his +forelock with finger and thumb, and bobs down his head, by way of making +him a bow, and goes to his seat. Along the walls on the ground is a +series of round stones, some of them capped with a straw collar or +hassock, on which the boys sit; others have bosses, and many of +them hobs--a light but compact kind of boggy substance found in the +mountains. On these several of them sit; the greater number of them, +however, have no seats whatever, but squat themselves down, without +compunction, on the hard floor. Hung about, on wooden pegs driven into +the walls, are the shapeless yellow "caubeens" of such as can boast the +luxury of a hat, or caps made of goat or hare's skin, the latter having +the ears of the animal rising ludicrously over the temples, or cocked +out at the sides, and the scut either before or behind, according to the +taste or the humor of the wearer. The floor, which is only swept every +Saturday, is strewed over with tops of quills, pens, pieces of broken +slate, and tattered leaves of "Reading made Easy," or fragments of old +copies. In one corner is a knot engaged at "Fox and Geese," or the "Walls +of Troy" on their slates; in another, a pair of them are "fighting +bottles," which consists in striking the bottoms together, and he whose +bottle breaks first, of course, loses. Behind the master is a third set, +playing "heads and points"--a game of pins. Some are more industriously +employed in writing their copies, which they perform seated on the +ground, with their paper on a copy-board--a piece of planed deal, the +size of the copy, an appendage now nearly exploded--their cheek-bones +laid within half an inch of the left side of the copy, and the eye set +to guide the motion of the hand across, and to regulate the straightness +of the lines and the forms of the letters. Others, again, of the more +grown boys, are working their sums with becoming industry. In a dark +corner are a pair of urchins thumping each other, their eyes steadily +fixed on the master, lest he might happen to glance in that direction. +Near the master himself are the larger boys, from twenty-two to +fifteen--shaggy-headed slips, with loose-breasted shirts lying open +about their bare chests; ragged colts, with white, dry, bristling beards +upon them, that never knew a razor; strong stockings on their legs; +heavy brogues, with broad, nail-paved soles; and breeches open at the +knees. Nor is the establishment without a competent number of females. +These were, for the most part, the daughters of wealthy farmers, who +considered it necessary to their respectability, that they should not +be altogether illiterate; such a circumstance being a considerable +drawback, in the opinion of an admirer, from the character of a young +woman for whom he was about to propose--a drawback, too, which was +always weighty in proportion to her wealth or respectability. + +Having given our readers an imperfect sketch of the interior of Mat's +establishment, we will now proceed, however feebly, to represent him at +work--with all the machinery of the system in full operation. + +"Come, boys, rehearse--(buz, buz, buz)--I'll soon be after calling +up the first spelling lesson--(buz, buz, buz)--then the +mathematicians--book-keepers--Latinists and Grecians, successfully. +(Buz, buz, buz)--Silence there below!--your pens! Tim Casey, isn't this +a purty hour o' the day for you to come into school at; arraix, and what +kept you, Tim? Walk up wid yourself here, till we have a confabulation +together; you see I love to be talking to you. + +"Sir, Larry Branagen, here; he's throwing spits at me out of his +pen."--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +"By my sowl, Larry, there's a rod in steep for you." + +"Fly away, Jack--fly away, Jill; come again, Jack--" + +"I had to go to Paddy Nowlan's for to-baccy, sir, for my +father." (Weeping with his hand knowingly across his face--one eye +laughing at his comrades.)-- + +"You lie, it wasn't." + +"If you call me a liar agin, I'll give you a dig in the mug." + +"It's not in your jacket." + +"Isn't it?" + +"Behave yourself; ha! there's the masther looking at you--ye'll get it +now."-- + +"None at all, Tim? And she's not after sinding an excuse wid you? What's +that undher your arm?" + +"My Grough, sir."--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +"Silence, boys. And, you blackguard Lilliputian, you, what kept you away +till this?" + +"One bird pickin', two men thrashin'; one bird pickin', two men +thrashin'; one bird pickin'--" + +"Sir, they're stickn' pins in me, here." + +"Who is, Briney?" + +"I don't know, sir, they're all at it." + +"Boys, I'll go down to yez." + +"I can't carry him, sir, he'd be too heavy for me: let Larry Toole do +it, he's stronger nor me; any way, there, he's putting a corker pin in +his mouth."*--(Buz, buz, buz.) + + * In the hedge schools it was usual for the unfortunate + culprit about to be punished to avail himself of all + possible stratagems that were calculated to diminish + his punishment. Accordingly, when put upon another + boy's back to be horsed, as it was termed, he slipped a + large pin, called a corker, in his mouth, and on + receiving the first blow stuck it into the neck of the + boy who carried him. This caused the latter to jump and + bounce about in such a manner that many of the blows + directed at his burthen missed their aim. It was an + understood thing, however, that the boy carrying the + felon should aid him in every way in his power, by + yielding, moving', and shifting about, so that it was + only when he seemed to abet the master that the pin was + applied to him. + +"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo--I'll never stay away agin, sir; indeed I won't, sir. +Oh, sir, clear, pardon me this wan time; and if ever you cotch me doing +the like agin, I'll give you lave to welt the sowl out of me."--(Buz +buz, buz.). "Behave yourself, Barny Byrne." + +"I'm not touching you." + +"Yes, you are; didn't you make me blot my Copy?" + +"Ho, by the livin', I'll pay you goin' home for this." + +"Hand me the taws." + +"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo--what'll I do, at all at all! Oh, sir dear, +sir dear, sir dear--hoo-hoo-hoo." + +"Did she send no message, good or bad, before I lay on?" + +"Oh, not a word, sir, only that my father killed a pig yestherday, and +he wants you to go up to-day at dinner-time."--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +"It's time to get lave--it isn't, it is--it isn't, it is," etc. + +"You lie, I say, your faction never was able to fight ours; didn't we +lick all your dirty breed in Builagh-battha fair?" + +"Silence there."--(Buz, buz, buz.) + +"Will you meet us on Sathurday, and we'll fight it out clane!" + +"Ha-ha-ha! Tim, but you got a big fright, any how: whist, ma bouchal, +sure I was only jokin' you; and sorry I'd be to bate your father's son, +Tim. Come over, and sit beside myself at the fire here. Get up, Micky +Donoghue, you big, burnt-shinn'd spalpeen you, and let the dacent boy +sit at the fire." + +"Hulabaloo hoo-hoo-hoo--to go to give me such a welt, only for sitting +at the fire, and me brought turf wid me." + +"To-day, Tim?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"At dinner time, is id?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Faith, the dacent strain was always in the same family."--(Buz, buz, +buz.)-- + +"Horns, horns, cock horns: oh, you up'd vrid them, you lifted your +fingers--that's a mark, now--hould your face, till I blacken you!" + +"Do you call thim two sods, Jack Laniran? why, 'tis only one long one +broke in the middle; but you must make it up tomorrow. Jack, how is your +mother's tooth?--did she get it pulled out yet?" + +"No, sir." + +"Well, tell her to come to me, and I'll write a charm for it, that'll +cure her.--What kept you' till now, Paddy Magouran?" + +"Couldn't come any sooner, sir." + +"You couldn't, sir--and why, sir, couldn't you come any sooner', sir?" + +"See, sir, what Andy Nowlan done to my copy."--(Buz, buz, buz.)-- + +"Silence, I'll massacree yez if yez don't make less noise."--(Buz, buz, +buz.) + +"I was down with Mrs. Kavanagh, sir." + +"You were, Paddy--an' Paddy, ma bouchal, what war you doing there, +Paddy?" + +"Masther, sir, spake to Jem Kenny here; he made my nose bleed."-- + +"Eh, Paddy?" + +"I was br ingin' her a layin' hen, sir, that my mother promised her at +mass on Sunday last." + +"Ah, Paddy, you're a game bird, yourself, wid your layin' hens; you're +as full o' mischief as an egg's full o' mate--(omnes--ha, ha, ha, +ha!)--Silence, boys--what are you laughin' at?--ha, ha, ha!--Paddy, can +you spell Nebachodnazure for me?" + +"No, sir." + +"No, nor a better scholar, Paddy, could not do that, ma bouchal; but +I'll spell it for you. Silence, boys--whist, all of yez, till I spell +Nebachodnazure for Paddy Magouran. Listen; and you yourself, Paddy, are +one of the letthers: + + A turf and a clod spells Nebachod-- + A knife and a razure, spells Nebachodnazure-- + Three pair of boots and five pair of shoes-- + Spells Nebachodnazure, the king of the Jews.' + +Now, Paddy, that's spelling Nebachodnazure by the science of +Ventilation; but you'll never go that deep, Paddy."-- + +"I want to go out, if you plase, sir." + +"Is that the way you ax me, you vagabone?" + +"I want to go out, sir,"--(pulling down the fore lock.) + +"Yes, that's something dacenter; by the sowl of Newton, that invinted +fluxions, if ever you forgot to make a bow again, I'll nog the enthrils +out of you--wait till the Pass comes in." + +Then comes the spelling lesson. "Come, boys, stand up to the spelling +lesson." + +"Mickey," says one urchin, "show me your book, till I look at my word. +I'm fifteenth." + +"Wait till I see my own." + +"Why do you crush for?" + +"That's my place." + +"No, it's not." + +"Sir, spake to---------I'll tell the masther." + +"What's the matther there?" + +"Sir, he won't let me into my place." + +"I'm before you." + +"No you're not." + +"I say, I am." + +"You lie, pug-face: ha! I called you pug-face, tell now if you dare." + +"Well boys, down with your pins in the book: who's king?" + +"I am, sir." + +"Who's queen?" + +"Me, sir." + +"Who's prince?" + +"I am prince, sir." + +"Tag rag and bob-tail, fall into your places." + +"I've no pin, sir." + +"Well down with you to the tail----now, boys."* + + * At the spelling lesson the children were obliged to + put down each a pin, he who held the first place got + them all with the exception of the queen--that is the + boy who held the second place! who got two; and the + prince, the third who got one. The last boy in the + class was called Bobtail. + +Having gone through the spelling-task, it was Mat's custom to give out +six hard words selected according to his judgment--as a final test; +but he did not always confine himself to that. Sometimes he would put a +number of syllables arbitrarily together, forming a most heterogeneous +combination of articulate sounds. + +"Now, boys, here's a deep word, that'll thry yez: come Larry +spell me-mo-man-dran-san-ti-fi-can-du-ban-dan-li-al-i-ty, or +mis-an-thro-po-mor-phi-ta-ni-a-nus-mi-ca-li-a-lioy;--that's too hard +for you, is it? Well, then, spell phthisic. Oh, that's physic you're +spellin'. Now, Larry, do you know the difference between physic and +phthisic?" + +"No, sir." + +"Well, I'll expound it: phthisic, you see, manes--whisht, boys: will +yez hould yer tongues there--phthisic, Larry, signifies--that is, +phthisic--mind, it's not physic I'm expounding, but phthisic--boys, will +yez stop yer noise there--signifies----but, Larry, it's so deep a +word in larnin' that I should draw it out on a slate for you. And now I +remimber, man alive, you're not far enough on yet to understand it: but +what's physic, Larry?" + +"Isn't that sir, what my father tuck the day he got sick, sir?" + +"That's the very thing, Larry: it has what larned men call a +medical property, and resembles little ricketty Dan Reilly there--it +retrogrades. Och! Och! I'm the boy that knows things--you see now how I +expounded them two hard words for yez, boys--don't yez?" + +"Yes, sir," etc., etc. + +"So, Larry, you haven't the larnin' for that either: but here's an +'asier one--spell me Ephabridotas (Epaphroditas)--you can't! hut! +man--you're a big dunce, entirely, that little shoneen Sharkey there +below would _sack_. God be wid the day when I was the likes of you--it's +I that was the bright gorsoon entirely--and so sign was on it, when +a great larned traveler--silence boys, till I tell yez this [a dead +silence]--from Thrinity College, all the way in Dublin, happened to meet +me one day--seeing the slate and Gough, you see, undher my arm, he axes +me--' Arrah, Mat,' says he, 'what are you _in_?' says he. 'Faix, I'm +in my breeches, for one thing,' says I, off hand--silence childhre, +and don't laugh so loud--(ha, ha, ha!) So he looks closer at me: 'I see +that,' says he; 'but what are you reading?' 'Nothing at all at all,' +says I; 'bad manners to the taste, as you may see, if you've your +eyesight.' 'I think,' says he, 'you'll be apt to die in your breeches;' +and set spurs to a fine saddle mare he rid--faith, he did so--thought me +so cute--(omnes--ha, ha, ha!) Whisht, boys, whisht; isn't it a terrible +thing that I can't tell yez a joke, but you split your sides laughing at +it--(ha, ha, ha!)--don't laugh so loud, Barney Casey."--(ha, ha, ha!) + +_Barney_.--"I want to go out, if you plase, sir." + +"Go, avick, you'll be a good scholar yet, Barney. Faith, Barney knows +whin to laugh, any how." + +"Well, Larry, you can't spell Ephabridotas?--thin, here's a short weeshy +one, and whoever spells it will get the pins;--spell a red rogue wid +three letters. You, Micky! Dan? Jack? Natty? Alick? Andy? Pettier? Jim? +Tim? Pat? Body? you? you? you? Now, boys, I'll hould you that my little +Andy here, that's only beginning the _Rational Spelling Book_, bates you +all; come here, Andy, alanna: now, boys, If he bates you, you 'must all +bring him a little _miscaun_ of butter between two kale leaves, in the +mornin', for himself; here, Andy avourneen, spell red rogue with three +letthers." + +_Andy_.--"M, a, t--Mat." + +"No, no, avick, that's myself, Andy; it's red rogue, Andy--hem!--F--." + +"F, o, x--fox." + +"That's a man, Andy. Now boys, mind what you owe Andy in the mornin, +God, won't yez?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Yes, sir." + +"Yes, sir." + +"I will, sir." + +"And I will, sir." + +"And so will I sir," etc., etc, etc + +I know not whether the Commissioners of Education found the monitorial +system of instruction in such of the old hedge schools as maintained an +obstinate resistance to the innovations of modern plans. That Bell and +Lancaster deserve much credit for applying and extending the principle +(speaking without any reference to its merits) I do not hesitate to +grant; but it is unquestionably true, that the principle was reduced +to practice in Irish hedge schools long before either of these worthy +gentlemen were in existence. I do not, indeed, at present remember +whether or not they claim it as a discovery, or simply as an adaptation +of a practice which experience, in accidental cases, had found useful, +and which they considered capable of more extensive benefit. I remember +many instances, however, in which it was applied--and applied, in my +opinion, though not as a permanent system, yet more judiciously than +it is at present. I think it a mistake to suppose that silence, among a +number of children in school, is conducive to the improvement either +of health or intellect, that the chest and the lungs are benefited by +giving full play to the voice, I think will not be disputed; and that a +child is capable of more intense study and abstraction in the din of a +school-room, than in partial silence (if I may be permitted the word), +is a fact, which I think any rational observation would establish. There +is something cheering and cheerful in the noise of friendly voices about +us--it is a restraint taken off the mind, and it will run the lighter +for it--it produces more excitement, and puts the intellect in a better +frame for study. The obligation to silence, though it may give the +master more ease, imposes a new moral duty upon the chil--the sense of +which must necessarily weaken his application. Let the boy speak aloud, +if he pleases--that is, to a certain pitch; let his blood circulate; let +the natural secretions take place, and the physical effluvia be thrown +off by a free exercise of voice and limbs: but do not keep him dumb and +motionless as a statue--his blood and his intellect both in a state +of stagnation, and his spirit below zero. Do not send him in quest of +knowledge alone, but let him have cheerful companionship on his way; +for, depend upon it, that the man who expects too much either in +discipline or morals from a boy, is not in my opinion, acquainted +with human nature. If an urchin titter at his own joke, or that of +another--if he give him a jab of a pin under the desk, imagine not that +it will do him an injury, whatever phrenologists may say concerning the +organ of destructiveness. It is an exercise to the mind, and he will +return to his business with greater vigor and effect. Children are not +men, nor influenced by the same motives--they do not reflect, because +their capacity for reflection is imperfect; so is their reason: whereas +on the contrary, their faculties for education (excepting judgment, +which strengthens my argument) are in greater vigor in youth than in +manhood. The general neglect of this distinction is, I am convinced, +a stumbling-block in the way of youthful instruction, though it +characterizes all our modern systems. We should never forget that they +are children; nor should we bind them by a system, whose standard is +taken from the maturity of human intellect. We may bend our reason to +theirs, but we cannot elevate their capacity to our own. We may produce +an external appearance, sufficiently satisfactory to ourselves; but, in +the meantime, it is probable that the child may be growing in hypocrisy, +and settling down into the habitual practice of a fictitious character. + +But another and more serious objection may be urged against the present +strictness of scholastic discipline--which is, that it deprives the +boy of a sense of free and independent agency. I speak this with +limitations, for a master should be a monarch in his school, but by no +means a tyrant; and decidedly the very worst species of tyranny is +that which stretches the young mind upon the rod of too rigorous a +discipline--like the despot who exacted from his subjects so many +barrels of perspiration, whenever there came a long and severe frost. Do +not familiarize the mind when young to the toleration of slavery, lest +it prove afterwards incapable of recognizing and relishing the principle +of an honest and manly independence. I have known many children, on +whom a rigor of discipline, affecting the mind only (for severe corporal +punishment is now almost exploded), impressed a degree of timidity +almost bordering on pusillanimity. Away, then, with the specious and +long-winded arguments of a false and mistaken philosophy. A child will +be a child, and a boy a boy, to the conclusion of the chapter. Bell +or Lancaster would not relish the pap or caudle-cup three times a day; +neither would an infant on the breast feel comfortable after a gorge of +ox beef. Let them, therefore, put a little of the mother's milk of human +kindness and consideration into their straight-laced systems. + +A hedge schoolmaster was the general scribe of the parish, to whom all +who wanted letters or petitions written, uniformly applied--and these +were glorious opportunities for the pompous display of pedantry; the +remuneration usually consisted of a bottle of whiskey. + +A poor woman, for instance, informs Mat that she wishes to have a letter +written to her son, who is a soldier abroad. "An' how long is he gone, +ma'am?" + +"Och, thin, masther, he's from me goin' an fifteen year; an' a comrade +of his was spakin' to Jim Dwyer, an' says his ridgiment's lyin' in the +Island of Budanages, somewhere in the back parts of Africa." + +"An' is it a lotther of petition you'd be afther havin' me to indite for +you, ma'am?" + +"Och, a letthur, sir--a letthur, master; an' may the Lord grant you all +kinds of luck, good, bad, an' indifferent, both to you and yours: an' +well it's known, by the same token, that it's yourself has the nice +hand at the pen entirely, an' can indite a letter or petition, that the +priest of the parish mightn't be ashamed to own to it." + +"Why, thin, 'tis I that 'ud scorn to deteriorate upon the superiminence +of my own execution at inditin' wid a pen in my hand; but would you feel +a delectability in my supersoriptionizin' the epistolary correspondency, +ma'am, that I'm about to adopt?" + +"Eagh? och, what am I sayin'!--sir--masther--sir?--the noise of the +crathurs, you see, is got into my ears; and, besides, I'm a bit bothered +on both sides of my head, ever since I heard that weary _weid_." + +"Silence, boys; bad manners to yez, will ye be asy, you Lilliputian +Boeotians--by my hem--upon my credit, if I go down to that corner, I'll +castigate yez in dozens: I can't spake to this dacent woman, with your +insuperable turbulentiality." + +"Ah, avourneen, masther, but the larnin's a fine thing, any how; an' +maybe 'tis yourself that hasn't the tongue in your head, an' can spake +the tall, high-flown English; a wurrah, but your tongue hangs well, any +how--the Lord increase it!" + +"Lanty Cassidy, are you gettin' on wid your Stereometry? _festina, mi +discipuli; vocabo Homerum, mox atque mox_. You see, ma'am, I must tache +thim to spake an' effectuate a translation of the larned languages +sometimes." + +"Arrah, masther dear, how did you get it all into your head, at all at +all?" + +"Silence, boys--_tace--' conticuere omnes intentique ora tenebant_.' +Silence, I say agin." + +"You could slip over, maybe, to Doran's, masther, do you see? You'd do +it betther there, I'll engage: sure and you'd want a dhrop to steady +your hand, any how." + +"Now, boys, I am goin' to indite a small taste of literal correspondency +over at the public-house here; you _literati_ will hear the lessons for +me, boys, till afther I'm back agin; but mind, boys, _absente domino +strepuunt servi_--meditate on the philosophy of that; and, Mick +Mahon, take your slate and put down all the names; and, upon my +soul--hem--credit, I'll castigate any boy guilty of _misty mannes_ on +my retrogadation thither;--_ergo momentote, cave ne titubes mandataque +frangas_." + +"Blood alive, masther, but that's great spakin'--begar, a judge couldn't +come up to you; but in throth, sir, I'd be long sarry to throuble you; +only he's away fifteen year, and I wouldn't thrust it to another; and +the corplar that commands the ridgment would regard your handwrite and +your inditin'." + +"Don't, ma'am, plade the smallest taste of apology." + +"Eagh?" + +"I'm happy that I can sarve you, ma'am." + +"Musha, long life to you, masther, for that same, any how--but it's +yourself that's deep in the larnin' and the langridges; the Lord incrase +yer knowledge--sure, an' we all want his blessin', you know." + +"Home, is id? Start, boys, off--chase him, lie into him--asy, curse +yez, take time gettin' out: that's it--keep to him--don't wait for me; +take care, you little spalpeens, or you'll brake your bones, so you +will: blow the dust of this road, I can't see my way in." + + +THE RETURN. + +"Well, boys, you've been at it--here's swelled faces and bloody noses. +What blackened your eye, Callaghan? You're a purty prime ministher, ye +boxing blackguard, you: I left you to keep pace among these factions, +and you've kicked up a purty dust. What blackened your eye--eh?--" + +"I'll tell you, sir, whin I come in, if you plase." + +"Ho, you vagabones, this is the ould work of the faction between the +Bradys and the Callaghans--bastin' one another; but, by my sowl, I'll +baste you all through other. You don't want to go out, Callaghan. You +had fine work here since; there's a dead silence now; but I'll pay you +presently. Here, Duggan, go out wid Callaghan, and see that you bring +him back in less than no time. It's not enough for your fathers and +brothers to be at it, who have a right to fight, but you must battle +betune you--have your field days itself!" + +(Duggan returns)--"Hoo--hoo--sir, my nose. Oh, murdher sheery, my nose +is broked!" + +"Blow your nose, you spalpeen you--Where's Callaghan?" + +"Oh, sir, bad luck to him every day he rises out of his bed; he got a +stone in his fist, too, that he hot me a pelt on the nose wid, and then +made off home." + +"Home is id? Start, boys, off--chase him, lie into him--azy, curse yez, +take time gettin out; that's it--keep to him--don't wait for me; take +care you little salpeens or you'll brake your bones, so you will: blow +the dust of this road, I can't see my way in it." + +"Oh! murdher, Jem, agra, my knee's out' o' joint." + +"My elbow's smashed, Paddy. Bad luck to him--the devil fly away wid +him--oh! ha I ha!--oh! ha! ha! murdher--hard fortune to me, but little +Mickey Geery fell, an' thripped the masther, an' himself's, disabled +now--his black breeches split too--look at him feelin' them--oh! oh! ha! +ha!--by tare-an'-onty, Callaghan will be murdhered, if they cotch him." + +This was a specimen of scholastic civilization which Ireland only could +furnish; nothing, indeed, could be more perfectly ludicrous than such a +chase; and such scenes were by no means uncommon in hedge-schools, for, +wherever severe punishment was dreaded--and, in truth, most of the hedge +masters were unfeeling tyrants--the boy, if sufficiently grown to make +a good race, usually broke away, and fled home at the top of his speed. +The pack then were usually led on by the master, who mostly headed them +himself, all in full cry, exhibiting such a scene as should be witnessed +in order to be enjoyed. The neighbors, men, women, and children, ran +out to be spectators; the laborers suspended their work to enjoy it, +assembling on such eminences as commanded a full view of the pursuit. + +"Bravo, boys--success, masther; lie into him--where's your huntin' horn, +Mr. Kavanagh?--he'll bate yez if ye don't take the wind of him. +Well done, Callaghan, keep up yer heart, yer sowl, and you'll do it +asy--you're gaining' on them, _ma bouchal_--the masther's down, you +gallows clip, an' there's none but the scholars afther ye--he's safe." + +"Not he; I'll hould a naggin, the poor scholar has him; don't you see, +he's close at his heels?" + +"_Done_, by my song--they'll never come up wid him; listen to their +leather crackers and cord-a-roys, as their knees bang agin one another. +Hark forrit, boy's; hark forrit! huz-zaw, you thieves, huzzaw!" + +"Your beagles is well winded, Mr. Kava-nagh, and gives good tongue." + +"Well, masther, you had your chase for nothin', I see." + +"Mr. Kavanagh," another would observe, "I didn't think you war so +stiff in the hams, as to let the gorsoon bate you that way--your wind's +failin', sir." + +The schoolmaster was abroad then, and never was the "march of +intellect" at once so rapid and unsuccessful. + +During the summer season, it was the usual practice for the scholars +to transfer their paper, slates, and books to the green which lay +immediately behind the school-house, where they stretched themselves on +the grass, and resumed their business. Mat would bring out his chair, +and, placing it on the shady side of the hedge, sit with his pipe in his +mouth, the contented lord of his little realm, whilst nearly a hundred +and fifty scholars, of all sorts and sizes, lay scattered over the +grass, basking under the scorching sun in all the luxury of novelty, +nakedness, and freedom. The sight was original and characteristic, and +such as Lord Brougham would have been delighted with. "The schoolmaster +was abroad again." + +As soon as one o'clock drew near, Mat would pull out his Ring-dial* +holding it against the sun, and declare the hour. + +* The Ring-dial was the hedge-schoolmaster's next best substitute for +a watch. As it is possible that a great number of our readers may never +have heard of, much less seen one, we shall in a word or two describe +it--nothing could indeed be more simple. It was a bright brass ring, +about three-quarters of an inch broad, and two and a half in diameter. +There was a small hole in it, which when held opposite the sun admitted +the light against the inside of the ring behind. On this was marked the +hours and the quarters, and the time was known by observing the number +or the quarter on which the slender ray that came in from the hole in +front fell. + +"Now, boys, to yer dinners, and the rest to play." + +"Hurroo, darlins, to play--the masther says it's +dinner-time!--whip-spur-an'-away-grey--hurroo--whack--hurroo!" + +"Masther, sir, my father bid me ax you home to yer dinner." + +"No, he'll come to huz--come wid me if you plase, sir." + +"Sir, never heed them; my mother, sir, has some of what you know--of the +flitch I brought to Shoneen on last Aisther, sir." + +This was a subject on which the boys gave themselves great liberty; an +invitation, even when not accepted, being an indemnity for the day; it +was usually followed by a battle between the claimants, and bloody noses +sometimes were the issue. The master himself, after deciding to go where +he was certain of getting the best dinner, generally put an end to +the quarrels by a reprimand, and then gave notice to the disappointed +claimants of the successive days on which he would attend at their +respective houses. + +"Boys, you all know my maxim; to go, for fear of any jealousies, boys, +wherever I get the worst dinner; so tell me now, boys, what yer dacent +mothers have all got at home for me?" + +"My mother killed a fat hen yesterday, sir, and you'll have a lump of +bacon and flat dutch along wid it." + +"We'll have hung beef and greens, sir." + +"We tried the praties this mornin', sir, and we'll have new praties, and +bread and butther, sir." + +"Well, it's all good, boys; but rather than show favor or affection, do +you see, I'll go wid Andy, here, and take share of the hen an' bacon: +but, boys, for all that, I'm fonder of the other things, you persave; +and as I can't go wid you, Mat, tell your respectable mother that +I'll be with her to-morrow; and with you, Larry, _ma bouchal_, the day +afther." + +If a master were a single man he usually went round with the scholars +each night--but there were generally a few comfortable farmers, leading +men in the parish, at whose house he chiefly resided; and the children +of these men were treated, with the grossest and most barefaced +partiality. They were altogether privileged persons, and had liberty +to beat and abuse the other children of the school, who were certain +of being most unmercifully flogged, if they even dared to prefer a +complaint against the favorites. Indeed the instances of atrocious +cruelty in hedge schools were almost incredible, and such as in the +present enlightened time, would not be permitted. As to the state of +the "poor, scholar," it exceeded belief; for he was friendless and +unprotected. But though legal prosecutions in those days were never +resorted to, yet, according to the characteristic notions of Irish +retributive justice, certain cases occurred, in which a signal, and +at times, a fatal vengeance was executed on the person of the brutal +master. Sometimes the brothers and other relatives of the mutilated +child would come in a body to the school, and flog the pedagogue with +his own taws, until his back was lapped in blood. Sometimes they would +beat him until few symptoms of life remained. + +Occasionally he would get a nocturnal notice to quit the parish in a +given time, under a penalty which seldom proved a dead letter in case +of non-compliance. Not unfrequently did those whom he had, when boys, +treated with such barbarity, go back to him, when young men, not so much +for education's sake, as for the especial purpose of retaliating upon +him for his former cruelty. When cases of this nature occurred, he found +himself a mere cipher in his school, never daring to practise excessive +severity in their presence. Instances have come to our own knowledge, of +masters, who, for their mere amusement, would go out to the next +hedge, cut a large branch of furze or thorn, and having first carefully +arranged the children on a row round the walls of the school, their +naked legs stretched out before them, would sweep round the branch, +bristling with spikes and prickles, with all his force against their +limbs, until, in a few minutes, a circle of blood was visible on +the ground where they sat, their legs appearing as if they had been +scarified. This the master did, whenever he happened to be drunk, or +in a remarkably good humor. The poor children, however, were obliged +to laugh loud, and enjoy it, though the tears were falling down their +cheeks, in consequence of the pain he inflicted. To knock down a child +with the fist, was considered nothing harsh; nor, if a boy were, cut, +or prostrated by a blow of a cudgel on the head, did he ever think of +representing the master's cruelty to his parents. Kicking on the shins +with a point of a brogue or shoe, bound round the edge of the sole with +iron nails, until the bone was laid open, was a common punishment; and +as for the usual slapping, horsing, and flogging, they were inflicted +with a brutality that in every case richly deserved for the tyrant, not +only a peculiar whipping by the hand of the common executioner, but a +separation from civilized society by transportation for life. It is a +fact, however, that in consequence of the general severity practised in +hedge schools, excesses of punishment did not often produce retaliation +against the master; these were only exceptions, isolated cases that did +not affect the general character of the discipline in such schools. + +Now when we consider the total absence of all moral and religious +principles in these establishments, and the positive presence of +all that was wicked, cruel, and immoral, need we be surprised that +occasional crimes of a dark and cruel character should be perpetrated? +The truth is, that it is difficult to determine, whether unlettered +ignorance itself were not preferable to the kind of education which the +people then received. + +I am sorry to perceive the writings of many respectable persons on +Irish topics imbued with a tinge of spurious liberality, that frequently +occasions them to depart from truth. To draw the Irish character as it +is, as the model of all that is generous, hospitable, and magnanimous, +is in some degree fashionable; but although I am as warm an admirer of +all that is really excellent and amiable in my countrymen as any man, +yet I cannot, nor will I, extenuate their weak and indefensible +points. That they possess the elements of a noble and exalted national +character, I grant; nay, that they actually do possess such a character, +under limitations, I am ready to maintain. Irishmen, setting aside +their religious and political prejudices, are grateful, affectionate, +honorable, faithful, generous, and even magnanimous; but under the +stimulus of religious and political feeling, they are treacherous, +cruel, and inhuman--will murder, burn, and exterminate, not only without +compunction, but with a satanic delight worthy of a savage. Their +education, indeed, was truly barbarous; they were trained and habituated +to cruelty, revenge, and personal hatred, in their schools. Their +knowledge was directed to evil purposes--disloyal principles were +industriously insinuated into their minds by their teachers, most of +whom were leaders of illegal associations. The matter placed in their +hands was of a most inflammatory and pernicious nature, as regarded +politics: and as far as religion and morality were concerned, nothing +could be more gross or superstitious than the books which circulated +among them. Eulogiums on murder, robbery, and theft were read with +delight in the histories of Freney the Robber, and the Irish Rogues and +Rapparees; ridicule of the Word of God, and hatred to the Protestant +religion, in a book called Ward's Cantos, written in Hudi-brastic verse; +the downfall of the Protestant Establishment, and the exaltation of +the Romish Church, in Columbkill's Prophecy, and latterly in that of +Pastorini. Gross superstitions, political and religious ballads of +the vilest doggerel, miraculous legends of holy friars persecuted by +Protestants, and of signal vengeance inflicted by their divine power on +those who persecuted them, were in the mouths of the young and old, and +of course firmly fixed in their credulity. + +Their weapons of controversy were drawn from the Fifty Reasons, the +Doleful Fall of Andrew Sail, the Catholic Christian, the Grounds of +Catholic Doctrine, a Net for the Fishers of Men, and several other +publications of the same class. The books of amusement read in these +schools, including the first-mentioned in this list, were, the Seven +Champions of Christendom, the Seven Wise Masters and Mistresses of +Rome, Don Belianis of Greece, the Royal Fairy Tales, the Arabian Nights' +Entertainments, Valentine and Orson, Gesta Romanorum, Dorastus and +Faunia, the History of Reynard the Fox, the Chevalier Faublax; to these +I may add, the Battle of Auhrim, Siege of Londonderry, History of the +Young Ascanius, a name by which the Pretender was designated, and the +Renowned History of the Siege of Troy; the Forty Thieves, Robin Hood's +Garland, the Garden of Love and Royal Flower of Fidelity, Parismus and +Parismenos; along with others, the names of which shall not appear on +these pages. With this specimen of education before our eyes, is it not +extraordinary that the people of Ireland should be in general, so moral +and civilized a people as they are? + +"Thady Bradly, will you come up wid your slate, till I examine you in +your figures? Go out, sir, and blow your nose first, and don't be +after making a looking-glass out of the sleeve of your jacket. Now that +Thady's out, I'll hould you, boys, that none of yez knows how to expound +his name--eh? do ye? But I needn't ax--well, 'tis Thaddeus; and, maybe, +that's as much as the priest that christened him knew. Boys, you see +what it is to have the larnin'--to lade the life of a gintleman, and to +be able to talk deeply wid the clargy! Now I could run down any man in +arguin', except a priest; and if the Bishop was after consecratin' +me, I'd have as much larnin' as some of them; but you see I'm not +consecrated--and--well, 'tis no matther--I only say that the more's the +pity." + +"Well, Thady, when did you go into subtraction?" + +"The day beyond yesterday, sir; yarra musha, sure 'twas yourself, sir, +that shet me the first sum." + +"Masther, sir, Thady Bradly stole my cutter--that's my cutter, Thady +Bradly." + +"No it's not" (in a low voice). + +"Sir, that's my cutter--an' there's three nicks in id." + +"Thady, is that his cutter?" + +"There's your cutter for you. Sir, I found it on the flure and didn't +know who own'd it." + +"You know'd very well who own'd it; didn't Dick Martin see you liftin' +it off o' my slate, when I was out?" + +"Well, if Dick Martin saw him, it's enough: an' 'tis Dick that's the +tindher-hearted boy, an' would knock, you down wid a lump of a stone, if +he saw you murdherin' but a fly!" + +"We'll, Thady--throth Thady, I fear you'll undherstand subtraction +better nor your teacher: I doubt you'll apply it to 'Practice' all +your life, _ma bouchal_, and that you'll be apt to find it 'the Rule of +False'* at last. Well, Thady, from one thousand pounds, no shillings, +and no pince, how will you subtract one pound? Put it down on your +slate--this way, + + The name of a 'Rule' in Gough's Arithmetic. + +1000 00 00 + +1 00 00" + +"I don't know how to shet about it, masther." + +"You don't, an' how dare you tell me so you _shingaun_ you--you +Cornelius Agrippa you--go to your sate and study it, or I'll--ha! be +off, you."-- + +"Pierce Butler, come up wid your multiplication. Pierce, multiply four +hundred by two--put it down--that's it, + +400 + +By 2" + +"Twice nought is one." (Whack, whack.) + +"Take that as an illustration--is that one?" + +"Faith, masther, that's two, any how: but, sir, is not wanst nought +nothin'; now masher, sure there can't be less than nothin'." + +"Very good, sir." + +"If wanst nought be nothin', then twice nought must be somethin', for +it's double what wanst nought is--see how I'm sthruck for nothin', an' +me knows it--hoo! hoo! hoo! + +"Get out, you Esculapian; but I'll give you _somethin_', by-and-by, just +to make you remimber that you know _nothin_'--off wid you to your sate, +you spalpeen you--to tell me that there can't be less than nothin' when +it's well known that sporting Squaire O'Canter's worth a thousand pounds +less than nothin'." + +"Paddy Doran, come up to your 'Intherest.' Well Paddy, what's the +intherest of a hundred pound, at five per cent? Boys, have manners you +thieves you." + +"Do you mane, masther, per cent, per annum?" + +"To be sure I do--how do you state it?" + +"I'll say, as a hundher pound is to one year, so is five per cent, per +annum." + +"Hum--why what's the number of the sum Paddy?" + +"'Tis No. 84, sir. (The master steals a glance at the Key to Gough.) + +"I only want to look at it in the Gough, you see, Paddy,--an' how dare +you give me such an answer, you big-headed dunce, you--go off an' study +it, you rascally Lilliputian--off wid you, and don't let me see your +ugly mug till you know it." + +"Now, gintlemen, for the Classics; and first for the Latinaarians--Larry +Cassidy, come up wid your Aisop. Larry you're a year at Latin, an' I +don't think you know Latin for frize, what your own coat is made of, +Larry. But, in the first place, Larry, do you know what a man that +taiches Classics is called?" + +"A schoolmasther, sir." (Whack, whack, whack.). + +"Take that for your ignorance--and that to the back of it--ha; that'll +taiche you--to call a man that taiches Classics a schoolmaster, indeed! +'Tis a Profissor of Humanity itself, he is--(whack, whack, whack,)--ha! +you ringleader, you; you're as bad as Dick M'Growler, that no masther in +the county could get any good of, in regard that he put the whole school +together by the ears, wherever he'd be, though the spalpeen wouldn't +stand fight himself. Hard fortune to you! to go to put such an affront +upon me, an' me a Profissor of Humanity. What's Latin for pantaloons?" + +"Fern--fern--femi--" + +"No, it's not, sir." + +"Femora--" + +"Can you do it?" + +"Don't strike me, sir, don't strike me, sir, an' I will." + +"I say, can you do it?" + +"Femorali,"--(whack, whack, whack,)-- + +"Ah, sir! ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir! 'tis fermorali--ah, sir!"-- + +"This thratement to a Profissor of Humanity--(drives him head over heels +to his seat).--Now, sir, maybe you'll have Latin for throwsers agin, +or by my sowl, if you don't, you must peel, and I'll tache you what a +Profissor of Humanity is! + +"Dan Roe, you little starved-looking spalpeen, will you come up to your +Elocution?--and a purty figure you cut at it, wid a voice like a penny +thrumpet, Dan! Well, what speech have you got now, Dan, _ma bouchal_. Is +it, 'Romans, counthrymin, and lovers?'" + +"No, shir; yarrah, didn't I spake that speech before?" + +"No, you didn't, you fairy. Ah, Dan, little as you are, you take credit +for more than ever you spoke, Dan, agrah; but, faith, the same thrick +will come agin you some time or other, avick! Go and get that speech +betther; I see by your face, you haven't it; off wid you, and get a +patch upon your breeches, your little knees are through them, though +'tisn't by prayin' you've wore them, any how, you little hop-o'-my-thumb +you, wid a voice like a rat in a thrap; off wid you, man alive!" + +Sometimes the neighboring gentry used to call into Mat's establishment, +moved probably by a curiosity excited by his character, and the general +conduct of the school. On one occasion Squire Johnston and an English +gentleman paid him rather an unexpected visit. Mat had that morning got +a new scholar, the son of a dancing tailor in the neighborhood; and +as it was reported that the son was nearly equal to the father in that +accomplishment, Mat insisted on having a specimen of his skill. He was +the more anxious on this point as it would contribute to the amusement +of a travelling schoolmaster, who had paid him rather a hostile visit, +which Mat, who dreaded a literary challenge, feared might occasion him +some trouble. + +"Come up here, you little sartor, till we get a dacent view of you. +You're a son of Ned Malone's--aren't you?" + +"Yes, and of Mary Malone, my mother, too, sir." + +"Why, thin, that's not so bad, any how--what's your name?" + +"Dick, sir." + +"Now, Dick, ma bouchal, isn't it true that you can dance a horn-pipe?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Here, Larry Brady, take the door off the hinges, an' lay it down on the +flure, till Dick Malone dances the _Humors of Glynn_: silence, boys, not +a word; but just keep lookin' an." + +"Who'll sing, sir? for I can't be afther dancin' a step widout the +music." + +"Boys, which of yez'll sing for Dick? I say, boys, will none of yez give +Dick the Harmony? Well, come, Dick, I'll sing for you myself: + + "Tooral lol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lorral, lol-- + Toldherol, lorral lol, lorral lol, lol," etc., etc. + +"I say, Misther Kavanagh," said the strange master, "what angle does +Dick's heel form in the second step of the treble, from the kibe on the +left foot to the corner of the door forninst him?" + +To this mathematical poser Mat made no reply, only sang the tune with +redoubled loudness and strength, whilst little Dicky pounded the old +crazy door with all his skill and alacrity. The "boys" were delighted. + +"Bravo, Dick, that's a man,--welt the flure--cut the buckle--murder the +clocks--rise upon suggaun, and sink upon gad---down the flure flat, +foot about--keep one foot on the ground and t'other never off it," +saluted him from all parts of the house. + +Sometimes he would receive a sly hint, in a feigned voice, to call for +"Devil stick the Fiddler," alluding to the master. Now a squeaking voice +would chime in; by and by another, and so on until the master's bass had +a hundred and forty trebles, all in chorus to the same tune. + +Just at this moment the two gentlemen altered; and, reader, you may +conceive, but I cannot describe, the face which Mat (who sat with his +back to the door, and did not; see them until they were some time in the +house), exhibited on the occasion. There he sung ore rotundo, throwing +forth an astonishing tide of voice; whilst little Dick, a thin, +pale-faced urchin, with his head, from which the hair stood erect, +sunk between his hollow shoulders, was performing prodigious feats of +agility. + +"What's the matter? what's the matter?" said the gentlemen. "Good +morning, Mr. Kavanagh!" + +----Tooral lol, lol---- + +Oh, good---Oh, good morning---gintlemen, with extrame kindness," +replied Mat, rising suddenly up, but not removing his hat, although the +gentlemen instantly uncovered. + +"Why, thin, gintlemen," he continued, "you have caught us in our little +relaxations to-day; but--hem!--I mane to give the boys a holiday for the +sake of this honest and respectable gintleman in the frize jock, who is +not entirely ignorant, you persave, of litherature; and we had a small +taste, gintlemen, among ourselves, of Sathurnalian licentiousness, +_ut ita dicam_, in regard of--hem!--in regard of this lad here, who was +dancing a hornpipe upon the door, and we, in absence of betther music, +had to supply him with the harmony; but, as your honors know, gintlemen, +the greatest men have bent themselves on espacial occasions." + +"Make no apology, Mr. Kavanagh; it's very commendable in you to bend +yourself by condescending to amuse your pupils." + +"I beg your pardon, Squire, I can take freedoms with you; but perhaps +the concomitant gentleman, your friend here, would be pleased to take +my stool. Indeed, I always use a chair, but the back of it, if I may, be +permitted the use of a small portion of jocularity, was as frail as the +fair sect: it went home yisterday to be mended. Do, sir, condescind +to be sated. Upon my reputation, Squire, I'm sorry that I have not +accommodation for you, too, sir; except one of these hassocks, which, in +joint considheration with the length of your honor's legs, would be, +I anticipate, rather low; but you, sir, will honor me by taking the +stool." + +By considerable importunity he forced the gentleman to comply with +his courtesy; but no sooner had he fixed himself upon the seat than +it overturned, and stretched him, black coat and all, across a wide +concavity in the floor nearly filled up with white ashes produced from +mountain turf. In a moment he was completely white on one side, and +exhibited a most laughable appearance; his hat, too, was scorched and +nearly burned on the turf coals. Squire Johnston laughed heartily, so +did the other schoolmaster, whilst the Englishman completely lost his +temper--swearing that such another uncivilized establishment was not +between the poles. + +"I solemnly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons," said Mat; "bad manners +to it for a stool! but, your honor, it was my own detect of speculation, +bekase, you see, it's minus a leg--a circumstance of which you waren't +wi a proper capacity to take cognation, its not being personally +acquainted with it. I humbly supplicate upwards of fifty pardons." + +The Englishman was now nettled, and determined to wreak his ill-temper +on Mat, by turning him and his establishment into ridicule. + +"Isn't this, Mister ------ I forget your name, sir." + +"Mat Kavanagh, at your sarvice." + +"Very well, my learned friend, Mr. Mat Kevanagh, isn't this precisely +what is called a hedge-school?" + +"A hedge-school!" replied Mat, highly offended; "my seminary a +hedge-school! No, sir; I scorn the cognomen in toto. This, sir, is a +Classical and Mathematical Seminary, under the personal superintendence +of your humble servant." + +"Sir," replied the other master, who till then was silent, wishing, +perhaps, to sack Mat in presence of the gentlemen, "it is a +hedge-school; and he is no scholar, but an ignoramus, whom I'd sack in +three minutes, that would be ashamed of a hedge-school." + +"Ay," says Mat, changing his tone, and taking the cue from his +friend, whose learning he dreaded, "it's just for argument's sake, a +hedge-school; and, what is more, I scorn to be ashamed of it." + +"And do you not teach occasionally under the hedge behind the house +here?" + +"Granted," replied Mat; "and now where's your _vis consequentiae?_" + +"Yes," subjoined the other, "produce your _vis consequentiae_; but any +one may know by a glance that the divil a much of it's about you." + +The Englishman himself was rather at a loss for the _vis consequentiae_, +and replied, "Why don't you live, and learn, and teach like civilized +beings, and not assemble like wild asses--pardon me, my friend, for the +simile--at least like wild colts, in such clusters behind the ditches?" + +"A clusther of wild coults!" said Mat; "that shows what you are; no +man of classical larnin' would use such a word. If you had stuck at the +asses, we know it's a subject you're at home in--ha! ha! ha!--but you +brought the joke on yourself, your honor--that is, if it is a joke--ha! +ha! ha!" + +"Permit me, sir," replied the strange master, "to ax your honor one +question--did you receive a classical education? Are you college-bred?" + +"Yes," replied the Englishman; "I can reply to both in the affirmative. +I'm a Cantabrigian." + +"You are a what?" asked Mat. + +"I am a Cantabrigian." + +"Come, sir, you must explain yourself, if you plase. I'll take my oath +that's neither a classical nor a mathematical tarm." + +The gentleman smiled. "I was educated in the English College of +Cambridge." + +"Well," says Mat, "and may be you would be as well off if you had picked +up your larnin' in our own Thrinity; there's good picking in Thrinity, +for gentlemen like you, that are sober, and harmless about the brains, +in regard of not being overly bright." + +"You talk with contempt of a hedge-school," replied the other master. +"Did you never hear, for all so long as you war in Cambridge, of a nate +little spot in Greece called the groves of Academus? + +"'Inter lucos Academi quarrere verum.' + +"What was Plato himself but a hedge schoolmaster? and, with humble +submission, it casts no slur on an Irish tacher to be compared to him, +I think. You forget also, sir, that the Dhruids taught under their oaks: +eh?" + +"Ay," added Mat, "and the Tree of Knowledge, too. Faith, an' if that +same tree was now in being, if there wouldn't be hedge schoolmasters, +there would be plenty of hedge scholars, any how--particularly if the +fruit was well tasted." + +"I believe, Millbank, you must give in," said Squire Johnston. "I think +you have got the worst of it." + +"Why," said Mat, "if the gintleman's not afther bein' sacked clane, I'm +not here." + +"Are you a mathematician?" inquired Mat's friend, determined to follow +up his victory; "do you know Mensuration?" + +"Come, I do know Mensuration," said the Englishman, with confidence. + +"And how would you find the solid contents of a load of thorns?" + +"Ay, or how will you consther and parse me this sintince?" said Mat-- + + "'Ragibus et clotibus solemus stopere windous, + Non numerus sumus et fruges consumere nati, + Stercora flat stiro raro terra-tanfcaro bungo.'" + +"Aisy, Mister Kavanagh," replied the other; "let the Cantabrigian +resolve the one I propounded him first." + +"And let the Cantabrigian then take up mine," said Mat: "and if he can +expound it, I'll give him a dozen more to bring home in his pocket, for +the Cambridge folk to crack after their dinner, along wid their nuts." + +"Can you do the 'Snail?'" inquired the stranger.. + +"Or 'A and B on opposite sides of a wood,' without the Key?" said Mat. + +"Maybe," said the stranger, who threw off the frize jock, and exhibited +a muscular frame of great power, cased in an old black coat--"maybe the +gintleman would like to get a small taste of the '_Scuffle_'" + +"Not at all," replied the Englishman; "I have not the least curiosity +for it--I assure you I have not. What the deuce do they mean, Johnston? +I hope you have influence over them." + +"Hand me down that cudgel, Jack Brady, till I show the gintleman the +'Snail' and the 'Maypole,'" said Mat. + +"Never mind, my lad; never mind, Mr ------a------Kevanagh. I give up the +contest; I resign you the palm, gentlemen. The hedge school has beaten +Cambridge hollow." + + + +"One poser more before you go, sir," said Mat--"Can you give me Latin +for a _game-egg_ in two words?" + +"Eh, a game egg? No, by my honor, I cannot--gentlemen, I yield." + +"Ay, I thought so," replied Mat; "and, faith, I believe the divil a much +of the game bird about you--you bring it home to Cambridge, anyhow, +and let them chew their cuds upon it, you persave; and, by the sowl +of Newton, it will puzzle the whole establishment, or my name's not +Kavanagh." + +"It will, I am convinced," replied the gentleman, eyeing the herculean +frame of the strange teacher and the substantial cudgel in Mat's hand; +"it will, undoubtedly. But who is this most miserable naked lad here, +Mr. Kevanagh?" + +"Why, sir," replied Mat, with his broad Milesian face, expanded by a +forthcoming joke, "he is, sir, in a sartin and especial particularity, a +namesake of your own." + +"How is that, Mr. Kevanagh?" + +"My name's not Kevanagh," replied Mat, "but Kavanagh; the Irish A for +ever!" + +"Well, but how is the lad a namesake of mine?" said the Englishman. + +"Bekase, you see, he's a, poor scholar, sir," replied Mat: "an' I hope +your honor will pardon me for the facetiousness-- + + 'Quid vetat ridentem dicere verum!' + +as Horace says to Maecenas, in the first of the Sathirs." + +"There, Mr. Kavanagh, is the price of a suit of clothes for him." + +"Michael, will you rise up, sir, and make the gintleman a bow? he has +given you the price of a shoot of clothes, ma bouchal." + +Michael came up with a very tattered coat hanging about him; and, +catching his forelock, bobbed down his head after the usual manner, +saying--"Musha yarrah, long life to your honor every day you rise, an' +the Lord grant your sowl a short stay in purgatory, wishin' ye, at the +same time, a happy death aftherwards!" + +The gentleman could not stand this, but laughed so heartily that the +argument was fairly knocked up. + +It appeared, however, that Squire Johnston did not visit Mat's school +from mere curiosity. + +"Mr. Kavanagh," said he, "I would be glad to have a little private +conversation with you, and will thank you to walk down the road a little +with this gentleman and me." + +When the gentlemen and Mat had gone ten or fifteen yards from the +school door, the Englishman heard himself congratulated in the following +phrases by the scholars:-- + +"How do you feel afther bein' sacked, gintleman? The masther sacked +you! You're a purty scholar! It's not you, Mr. Johnston, it's the other. +You'll come to argue agin, will you? Where's your head, Bah! Come back +till we put the _suggaun_* about your neck. Bah! You now must go to +school to Cambridge agin, before you can argue an Irisher! Look at the +figure he cuts! Why duv ye put the one foot past the other, when ye +walk, for? Bah! Dunce!" + + * The suggaun was a collar of straw which was put round + the necks of the dunces, who were then placed at the + door, that their disgrace might be as public as + possible. + +"Well, boys, never heed yez for that," shouted Mat; "never fear but I'll +castigate yez, ye spalpeen villains, as soon as I go back. Sir," said +Mat, "I supplicate upwards of fifty pardons. I assure you, sir, +I'll give them a most inordinate castigation, for their want of +respectability." + +"What's the Greek for tobaccy?" they continued--"or for Larry O'Toole? +or for bletherum skite? How many beans makes five? What's the Latin +for poteen, and flummery? You a mathemathitician! could you measure a +snail's horn? How does your hat stay up and nothing undher it? Will you +fight Barny Parrel wid one hand tied! I'd lick you myself! What's Greek +for gosther?"--with many other expressions of a similar stamp. + +"Sir," said Mat, "lave the justice of this in my hands. By the sowl of +Newton, your own counthryman, ould Isaac, I'll flog the marrow out of +them." + +"You have heard, Mr. Kavanagh," continued Mr. Johnston, as they went +along, "of the burning of Moore's stable and horses, the night before +last. The fact is, that the magistrates of the county are endeavoring to +get the incendiaries, and would render a service to any person capable, +either directly or indirectly, of facilitating the object, or stumbling +on a clew to the transaction." + +"And how could I do you a sarvice in it, sir?" inquired Mat. + +"Why," replied Mr. Johnston, "from the children. If you could sift them +in an indirect way, so as, without suspicion, to ascertain the absence +of a brother, or so, on that particular night, I might have it in my +power to serve you, Mr. Kavanagh. There will be a large reward offered +to-morrow, besides." + +"Oh, damn the penny of the reward ever I'd finger, even if I knew the +whole conflagration," said Mat; "but lave the siftin' of the children +wid myself, and if I can get anything out of them you'll hear from me; +but your honor must keep a close mouth, or you might have occasion to +lend me the money for my own funeral some o' these days. Good-morning, +gintlemen." The gentlemen departed. + +"May the most ornamental kind of hard fortune pursue you every day you +rise, you desavin' villain, that would have me turn informer, bekase +your brother-in-law, rack-rintin' Moore's stables and horses were burnt; +and to crown all, make the innocent childre the means of hanging their +own fathers or brothers, you rap of the divil! but I'd see you and all +your breed in the flames o' hell first." Such was Mat's soliloquy as he +entered the school on his return. + +"Now, boys, I'm afther givin' yez to-day and to-morrow for a holyday: +to-morrow we will have our Gregory;* a fine faste, plinty of poteen, +and a fiddle; and you will tell your brothers and sisters to come in +the evening to the dance. You must bring plinty of bacon, hung beef, +and fowls, bread and cabbage--not forgetting the phaties, and sixpence +a-head for the crathur, boys, won't yez?" + +The next day, of course, was one of festivity; every boy brought, in +fact, as much provender as would serve six; but the surplus gave Mat +some good dinners for three months to come. This feast was always held +upon St. Gregory's day, from which circumstance it had its name. The +pupils were at liberty for that day to conduct themselves as +they pleased: and the consequence was, that they became generally +intoxicated, and were brought home in that state to their parents. If +the children of two opposite parties, chanced to be at the same school, +they usually had a fight, of which the master was compelled to feign +ignorance; for if he identified himself with either faction, his +residence in the neighborhood would be short. In other districts, where +Protestant schools were in existence, a battle-royal commonly took +place between the opposite establishments, in some field lying half-way +between them. This has often occurred. + +Every one must necessarily be acquainted with the ceremony of _barring +out_. This took place at Easter and Christmas. The master was brought +or sent out on some fool's errand, the door shut and barricaded, and the +pedagogue excluded, until a certain term of vacation was extorted. +With this, however, the master never complied until all his efforts +at forcing an entrance were found to be ineffectual; because if he +succeeded in getting in, they not only had no claim to a long vacation, +but were liable to be corrected. The schoolmaster had also generally the +clerkship of the parish; an office, however, which in the country parts +of Ireland is without any kind of salary, beyond what results from the +patronage of the priest; a matter of serious moment to a teacher, who, +should he incur his Reverence's displeasure, would be immediately driven +out of the parish. The master, therefore, was always tyrannical and +insolent to the people, in proportion as he stood high in the estimation +of the priest. He was also a regular attendant at all wakes and +funerals, and usually sat among a crowd of the village sages engaged +in exhibiting his own learning, and in recounting the number of his +religious and literary disputations. + +One day, soon after the visit of the gentlemen above mentioned, two +strange men came into Mat's establishment--rather, as Mat thought, in an +unceremonious manner. + +"Is your name Matthew Kavanagh?" said one of them. + +"That is indeed the name that's upon me," said Mat, with rather an +infirm voice, whilst his face got as pale as ashes. + +"Well," said the fellow, "we'll just trouble you to walk with us a bit." + +"How far, with submission, are yez goin' to bring me?" said Mat. + +"Do you know Johnny Short's hotel?"* + + * The county jail.--Johnny Short was for many years the + Governor of Monaghan jail. It was to him the _Mittimus_ + of "Fool Art," mentioned in Phelim O'Toole's Courtship, + was directed. If the reader will suspend his curiosity, + that is, provided he feels any, until he comes to the + sketch just mentioned, he will get a more ample account + of Johnny Short. + +"My curse upon you, Findramore," exclaimed Mat, in a paroxysm +of anguish, "every day you rise! but your breath's unlucky to a +schoolmaster; and it's no lie what was often said, that no schoolmaster +ever thruv in you, but something ill came over him." + +"Don't curse the town, man alive," said the constable, "but curse your +own ignorance and folly; any way, I wouldn't stand in your coat for the +wealth of the three kingdoms. You'll undoubtedly swing, unless you turn +king's evidence. It's about Moore's business, Mr. Kavanagh." + +"Damn the bit of that I'd do, even if I knew anything about it; but, +God be praised for it, I can set them all at defiance--that I'm sure of. +Gentlemen, innocence is a jewel." + +"But Barny Brady, that keeps the shebeen house--you know him--is of +another opinion. You and some of the Pindramore boys took a sup in +Barny's on a sartin night?" + +"Ay, did we, on many a night, and will agin, plase Providence--no harm +in takin' a sup any how--by the same token, that may be you and yer +friend here would have a drop of rale stuff, as a thrate from me?" + +"I know a thrick worth two of that," said the man; "I thank ye kindly, +Mr. Kavanagh." + +One Tuesday morning, about six weeks after this event, the largest crowd +ever remembered in that neighborhood was assembled at Findramore Hill, +whereon had been erected a certain wooden machine, yclept--a gallows. A +little after the hour of eleven o'clock two carts were descried winding +slowly down a slope in the southern side of the town and church, which +I have already mentioned, as terminating the view along the level road +north of the hill. As soon as they were observed, a low, suppressed +ejaculation of horror ran through the crowd, painfully perceptible to +the ear--in the expression of ten thousand murmurs all blending into one +deep groan--and to the eye, by a simultaneous motion that ran through +the crowd like an electric shock. The place of execution was surrounded +by a strong detachment of military; and the carts that conveyed the +convicts were also strongly guarded. + +As the prisoners approached the fatal spot, which was within sight +of the place where the outrage had been perpetrated, the shrieks and +lamentations of their relations and acquaintances were appalling indeed. +Fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins, and all persons to the +most remote degree of kindred and acquaintanceship, were present--all +excited by the alternate expression of grief and low-breathed vows of +retaliation; not only relations, but all who were connected with them +by the bonds of their desperate and illegal oaths. Every eye, in fact, +coruscated with a wild and savage fire, that shot from under brows knit +in a spirit that deemed to cry out Blood, vengeance--blood, vengeance! +The expression was truly awful; all what rendered it more terrific was +the writhing reflection, that numbers and physical force were unavailing +against a comparatively small body of armed troops. This condensed the +fiery impulse of the moment into an expression of subdued rage, that +really shot like livid gleams from their visages. + +At length the carts stopped under the gallows; and, after a short +interval spent in devotional exercise, three of the culprits ascended +the platform, who, after recommending themselves to God, and avowing +their innocence, although the clearest possible evidence of guilt had +been brought against them, were launched into another life, among the +shrieks and groans of the multitude. The other three then ascended; two +of them either declined, or had not strength to address the assembly. +The third advanced to the edge of the boards--it was Mat. After two +or three efforts to speak, in which he was unsuccessful from bodily +weakness, he at length addressed them as follows:-- + +"My friends and good people--In hopes that you may be all able to +demonstrate the last proposition laid down by a dying man, I undertake +to address you before I depart to that world where Euclid, De Cartes, +and many other larned men are gone before me. There is nothing in all +philosophy more true than that, as the multiplication-table says, 'two +and two makes four;' but it is equally veracious and worthy of credit, +that if you do not abnegate this system that you work the common rules +of your proceedings by--if you don't become loyal men, and give up +burnin' and murdherin', the solution of it will be found on the gallows. +I acknowledge myself to be guilty, for not separatin' myself clane from +yez; we have been all guilty, and may God forgive thim that jist now +departed wid a lie in their mouth." + +Here he was interrupted by a volley of execrations and curses, mingled +with "stag, informer, thraithor to the thrue cause!" which, for some +time, compelled him to be silent. + +"You may curse," continued Mat; "but it's too late now to abscond the +truth--the _sum_ of my wickedness and folly is worked out, and you see +the _answer_. God forgive me, many a young crathur I enticed into the +_Ribbon_ business, and now it's to ind in _Hemp_. Obey the law; or, if +you don't you will find a _lex talionis_ the construction of which is, +that if a man burns or murdhers he won't miss hanging; take warning by +me--by us all; for, although I take God to witness that I was not at +the perpetration of the crime that I'm to be suspinded for, yet I often +connived, when I might have superseded the carrying of such intuitions +into effectuality. I die in pace wid all the world, save an' except the +Findramore people, whom, may the maledictionary execration of a +dying man follow into eternal infinity! My manuscription of conic +sections--" Here an extraordinary buz commenced among the crowd, which +rose gradually into a shout of wild, astounding exultation. The sheriff +followed the eyes of the multitude, and perceived a horseman dashing +with breathless fury up towards the scene of execution. He carried and +waved a white handkerchief on the end of a rod, and made signals with +his hat to stop the execution. He arrived, and brought a full pardon for +Mat, and a commutation of sentence to transportation for life for the +other two. What became of Mat I know not; but in Findramore he never +dared to appear, as certain death would have been the consequence of his +not dying _game_. With respect to Barny Brady, who kept the shebeen, +and was the principal evidence against those who were concerned in this +outrage, he was compelled to enact an _ex tempore_ death in less than +a month afterwards; having been found dead, with a slip of paper in his +mouth, inscribed--"This is the fate of all Informers." + + +* * * * * + + +(Note to page 834.) + +The Author, in order to satisfy his readers that the character of Mat +Kavanagh as a hedge schoolmaster is not by any means overdrawn, begs to +subjoin (verbatim) the following authentic production of one, which will +sufficiently explain itself, and give an excellent notion of the mortal +feuds and jealousies which subsist between persons of this class:-- + +"To the Public.--Having read a printed Document, emanating, as it +were, from a vile, mean, and ignorant miscreant of the name of ------, +calumniating and vituperating me; it is evidently the production of a +vain, supercilious, disappointed, frantic, purblind maniac of the name +of ------, a bedlamite to all intents and purposes, a demon in the +disguise of virtue, and a herald of hell in the paradise of innocence, +possessing neither principle, honor, nor honesty; a vain and vapid +creature whom nature plumed out for the annoyance of ------ and its +vicinity. + +"It is well known and appreciated by an enlightened and discerning +public, that I am as competently qualified to conduct the duties of a +Schoolmaster as any Teacher in Munster. (Here I pause, stimulated by +dove-eyed humility, and by the fine and exalted feelings of nature, to +make a few honorable exceptions, particularly when I memorize the names +and immortal fame of a Mr. ------, a Mr.---------, a Mr. ---------, a +Mr.---------, a Mr. ---------, a Mr. --------, ---------; a Mr. Matt. +---------, ---------; a Mr.---------, ---------; and many other stars of +the first magnitude, too numerous for insertion). + +"The notorious impostor and biped animal already alluded to, actuated by +an overweening desire of notoriety, and in order to catch the applause +of some one, grovelling in the morasses of insignificance and vice, +like himself, leaves his native obscurity, and indulges in falsehood, +calumny, and defamation. I am convinced that none of the highly +respectable Teachers of -------- has had any participation in this +scurrilous transaction, as I consider them to be sober, moral, exemplary +well-conducted men, possessed of excellent literary abilities; but this +expatriated ruffian and abandoned profligate, being aware of the marked +and unremitting attention which I have heretofore invariably paid to the +scholars committed to my care, and the astonishing proficiency which, +generally speaking, will be an accompaniment of competency, instruction, +assiduity and perseverance, devised this detestable and fiendish +course in order to tarnish and injure my unsullied character, it being +generally known and justly acknowledged that I never gave utterance +to an unguarded word--that I have always conducted myself as a man of +inoffensive, mild, and gentle habits, of unblemished moral character, +and perfectly sensible of the importance of inculcating on the young +mind, moral and religious instruction, a love of decency, cleanliness, +industry, honesty, and truth--that my only predominant fault some years +ago, consisted in partaking of copious libations of the 'Moantain Dew,' +which I shall for ever mourn with heartfelt compunction.--But I return +thanks to the Great God, for more than eighteen months my lips have +not partaken of that infuriating beverage to which I was unfortunately +attached, and my habitual propensity vanished at the sanctified +and ever-memorable sign of the cross--the memento of man's lofty +destination, and miraculous injunction, of the great, illustrious, and +never-to-be-forgotten Apostle of Temperance. I am now an humble member +of this exemplary and excellent society, which is engaged in the +glorious and hallowed cause of promoting Temperance, with the zealous +solicitude of parents.--I am one of these noble men, because they +are sober men, who have triumphed over their habits, conquered their +passions, and put their predominant propensities to flight; yes, +kind-hearted, magnanimous, and lofty high, minded conqueror, I have to +announce to you that I have gained repeated victories, and consigned to +oblivion the hydra-headed monster, Intemperance; and in consequence of +which, have been consigned from poverty and misery, to affluence and +happiness, possessing 'ready rino,' or ample pecuniary means to make one +comfortable and happy thereby enjoying 'the feast of reason and the +flow of soul,' i.e.,--an honest, cozy warm, comfortable cup of tea, to +consign my drooping, sober, and cheerful spirits into the flow of soul, +and philosophy of pleasure. I, therefore, do feel I hid no occasion to +speak a word in vindication of my conduct and character. A conspiracy +in embryo, formed by a triumvirate, was brought to maturity by as +experienced a calumniator, as Canty, the Hangman from Cork, was in the +discharge of his functions, when in the situation of municipal officer; +and the hoary-headed cadman and crack-brained Pedagogue was appointed +a necessary evil vehicle for industriously circulating said maniac +calumny. Why did not this base Plebeian, anterior to his giving +publicity to the tartaric nausea that rankled at his gloomy heart, +forward the corroding philippic, and bid defiance to my contradiction? +No, no; he knew full well that with his scanty stock of English +ammunition scattered over the sterile floor of his literary magazine, he +could not have the effrontery, impudence, or presumption to enter +the list of philosophical and scientific disputation with one who has +traversed the thorny paths of literature, explored its mazy windings, +and who is thoroughly and radically fortified, as being encompassed +with the impenetrable shield of genuine science. This red, hot, fiery, +unguarded locust, in the inanity of his mind's incomprehensibleness, has +not only incurred my displeasure by his satirical dogged Lampoons, etc., +but the abhorrence, animosity, and holy indignation of many who move in +the high circle, as well as the ineffable contempt of the majority +of those good and useful members of society, who are engaged in the +glorious and delightful task of 'teaching the young idea how to shoot,' +and forming the mind to rectitude of conduct; and whose labors +are tremendous--I speak from long and considerable experience in +scholastic pursuits. I am as perfectly aware as any man of the friendly +intercourse, urbanity, and social reciprocation of kindness and demeanor +that ought to exist among Teachers;--and, in a word, that they should +be like the sun and moon--receptacles of each other's light. But these +malicious, ignorant, callous-hearted traducers finding it perfectly +congenial to their usual habits, and perhaps feeling no remorse +of conscience in departing from those principles which must always +accompany men of education, carry into effect their scheme of wanton, +atrocious, and deliberate falsehood. And accordingly, in pursuance of +their infernal piece of villainy, one of them being sensible of +being held in contempt and ridicule by an enlightened public--whose +approbation alone is the true criterion by which Teachers ought to +be sanctioned, countenanced, and patronized--incited, ordered, and +directed, the aforesaid Lampooner--a reckless, heartless, illiterate, +evil-minded ghost, yes my friends an evil-spirit, created by the +wrath of God--to pour out the rigmarole effusions of his silly and +contemptible lucubrations. It is a well-known fact, that this vile +calumniator is the shame, the disgrace, the opprobrium, and brand of +detestation; the sacrilegious and perjured outcast of society, who would +cut any man's throat for one glass of the soul-destroying beverage. This +accursed viper and well-known hobgoblin, labors under a complication of +maladies: at one time you might see him leaving the Court-house of with +the awful crime of perjury depicted in capital letters on his forehead, +and indelibly engraven in the recesses of his heart, considering that +every tongueless object was eloquent of his woe, and at periods laboring +under a semi-perspicuous, semi-opaque, gutta-serena, attended with an +acute palpitation of his pericranium, and a most tormenting delirium +of intellects from which he finds not the least mitigation until he +consopiates his optics under the influence of Morpheus. There are ties +of affinity and consanguinity existing between this manfacturer of +atrocious falsehoods and barefaced calumnies, and a Jack-Ass, which ties +cannot be easily dissolved, the affinity or similitude is perceptible to +an indifferent observer in the accent, pronunciation, modulation of the +voice of the biped animal, and in the braying of the quadruped. This +Jack-Ass you might also behold perambulating the streets of ------, +a second Judas Iscariot--a houseless, homeless, penniless, forlorn +fugitive, like Old Nick or Beelzebub, seeking whom he might betray +and injure in the public estimation, in rapacity, or in discharging a +blunderbuss full of falsehood against the most pure and unimpeachable +Member of society! Is it not astonishing this wretched, braying, +incorrigible mendicant does not put on a more firm and unalterable +resolution of taking pattern by, and living in accordance with the +laudable and exemplary habits of members of the Literatii, the ornament +of which learned body is the Rev. Dr. King, of Ennis College, a +gentleman by birth, by principles, and more than all, a gentleman by +education; whose mind is pregnant with inexhaustible stores of classical +and mathematical lore, entertainment and knowledge; whose learning and +virtues have shed a lustre on the human kind; a gentleman possessing +almost superhuman talents. No, he must persevere and run in his +accustomed old course of abomination, slander, iniquity, and vice. + +"In conclusion, to the R. C. Clergymen of ------, and the respectable +portion of the laity, I return my ardent heartfelt thanks--to the +former, who are the pious, active, and indefatigable instructors of the +peasantry, their consolers in affliction, their resource in calamity, +their preceptors and models in religion, the trustees of their interest, +their visitors in sickness, and their companions on their beds of death; +and from the latter I have experienced considerable gratitude in unison +with all the other fine qualities inherent in their nature; while +neither time nor place shall ever banish from my grateful I heart, +their urbanity, hospitality, munificence, and kindness to me on every +occasion. + +"I have the honor to be their very devoted, much obliged, and grateful +Servant, + +"JOHN O'KELLY. + +"The itinerant cosmopolite, to use his own phraseology, accuses me +with being lame--I reply, so was Lord Byron; and why not a 'Star from +Dromcoloher' be similarly honored, for + + If God, one member has oppress'd, + He has made more perfect all the rest. + +"The following poetic lines are to be inserted in reply to the doggerel +composition of the equivocating and hoary champion of wilful and +deliberate falsehood, and a compound of knavery, deception, villainy, +and dissimulation, wherever he goes:-- + + "O'Kelly's my name, + I think it no shame, + Of sempiternal fame in that line, + As for my being lame, + The rest of my frame, + Is somewhat superior to thine. + + These addled head swains, + Of paralyzed brains, + Who charge me with corrupting youth, + Are a perjuring pair, + In Belzebub's chair, + Stamped with disgrace and untruth." + +We are obliged to omit some remarks that accompanied the following +poetical effusion:-- + + "A book to the blind signifies not a feather, + Whose look and whose mind chime both together, + Boreas, pray blow this vile rogue o'er the terry, + For he is a disgrace and a scandal to Kerry." + +The writer of this, after passing the highest eulogium on the Rev. Mr. +O'Kelly, P.P., Kilmichael, in speaking of him, says, + + "In whom, the Heavenly virtues do unite, + Serenely fair, in glowing colors bright, + The shivering mendicant's attire, + The stranger's friend, the orphan's sire, + Benevolent and mild; + The guide of youth, + The light of truth, + By all condignly styl'd." + +A gentleman having applied for a transcript of this interesting document +for his daughter, Mr. O'Kelly says, "This transcript is given with +perfect cheerfulness, at the suggestion of the amiable, accomplished, +highly-gifted, original genius, Miss Margaret Brew, of --------, to +whom, with the most respectful deference, I take the liberty of applying +the following most appropriate poetic lines:-- + + "Kilrush, a lovely spot of Erin's Isle, + May you and your fair ones in rapture smile, + By force of genius and superior wit, + Any station in high life, they'd lit. + Raise the praise worthy, in style unknown, + Laud her, who has great merit of her own. + Had I the talents of the bards of yore, + I would touch my harp and sing for ever more, + Of Miss Brew, unrivaled, and in her youth, + The ornament of friendship, love and truth. + That fair one, whose matchless eloquence divine, + Finds out the sacred pores of man sublime, + Tells us, a female of Kilrush doth shine. + In point of language, eloquence, and ease, + She equals the celebrated Dowes now-a-days, + A splendid poetess--how sweet her verse, + That which, without a blush, Downes might rehearse; + Her throbbing breast the home of virtue rare, + Her bosom, warm, loving and sincere, + A mild fair one, the muses only care, + Of learning, sense, true wit, and talents rare; + Endless her fame, on golden wings she'd fly, + Loud as the trumpet of the rolling sky. + +"I avail myself of this opportunity, in the most humble posture, the +pardon and indulgence of that nobleman of the most profound considerable +talents, unbounded liberality, and genuine worth, Crofton M. Yandeleur, +Esq., for the culpable omission, which I have incautiously and +inadvertly made, in not prior to, and before all, tendered his honor, my +warm hearted and best acknowledgments, and participating in the general +joy, visible here on every countenance, occasioned by the restoration +to excellent health, which his most humane, truly charitable, and +illustrious beloved patroness of virtue and morality, Lady Grace T. +Yandeleur, now enjoys May they very late, when they see their children, +as well as their numerous, happy and contented tenantry, flourish around +them in prosperity, virtue, honor, and independence--may they then +resign their temporal care, to partake of the never-ending joys, glory, +and felicity of Heaven; these are the fervent wishes and ardent prayers +of their ever grateful servant, + +"JOHN O'KELLY. + + "O rouse my muse and launch in praise forth, + Dwell with delight, with extasy on worth; + In these kind souls in conspicuous flows, + Their liberal hands expelling-human woes. + Tell, when dire want oppressed the needy poor, + They drove the ghastly spectre from the door. + Such noble actions yield more pure content, + Than thousands squander'd or in banquets spent. + +"I hope, kind and extremely patient reader, you will find my piece +humorous, interesting, instructive, and edifying. In delineating and +drawing to life the representation of my assailant, aggressor, and +barefaced calumniator. I have preferred the natural order, free, and +familiar style, to the artificial order, grave, solemn, and antiquated +style; and in so doing, I have had occasion to have reference to the +vocal metaphrase of some words. With a due circumspection of the use +of their synonymy, taking care that the import and acceptation of each +phrase and word should not appear frequently synonymous. Again. I have +applied the whip unsparingly to his back, and have given him such a +laudable castigation, as to compel him to comport himself in future with +propriety and politeness; yes, it is quite obvious that I have done it, +by an appropriate selection of catogoramatic and cencatogoramatic terms +and words. I have been particularly careful to adorn it with some +poetic spontaneous effusions, and although I own to you, that I have no +pretensions to be an adept in poetry, as I have only moderately sipped +of the Helicon Fountain; yet from my knowledge of Orthometry I can +prove the correctness of it; by special and general metric analysis. In +conclusion, I have not indulged in Rhetorical figures and Tropes, but +have rigidly adhered to the use of figurative and literal language; +finally I have used a concatination of appropriate mellifluous epithets, +logically and philosophically accurate, copious, sublime, eloquent, and +harmonious. + +"Adieu! Adieu! Remember, JOHN O'KELLY, Literary Teacher, And a native of +Dromcoloher." + + +"The author of this extempore production of writing a Treatise on Mental +Calculations, to which are appended more than three hundred scientific, +ingenious, and miscellaneous questions, with their solutions. + +"Mental calculations for the first time are simplified, which will +prove a grand desideratum and of the greatest importance in mercantile +affairs. + + "You will not wonder when I will ye, + You have read some pieces from 0' Kelly; + Halt he does, but 'tis no more + Than Lord Byron did before; + Read his pieces and you'll find + There is no limping in his mind; + Reader, give your kind subscription, + Of you, he will give a grand description. + + Price 2s., to be paid in advance, + +"There are Sixty-eight Subscribers to the forthcoming work, gentlemen +of considerable Talents, Liberality, and worth;--who, with perfect +cheerfulness, have evinced a most laudable disposition to foster, +encourage, and reward, a specimen of Irish Manufacture and Native +Talent, in so humble a person as their extremely grateful, much obliged, +and faithful servant, + +"JOHN O'KELLY." + + + + + + +THE MIDNIGHT MASS. + + +Frank M'Kenna was a snug farmer, frugal and industrious in his habits, +and, what is rare amongst most men of his class, addicted to neither +drink nor quarrelling. He lived at the skirt of a mountain, which ran up +in long successive undulations, until it ended in a dark, abrupt peak, +very perpendicular on one side, and always, except on a bright day, +capped with clouds. Before his door lay a hard plain, covered only with +a kind of bent, and studded with round gray rocks, protruding somewhat +above its surface. Through this plain, over a craggy channel, ran a +mountain torrent, that issued to the right of M'Kenna's house, from a +rocky and precipitous valley which twisted itself round the base of +the mountain until it reached the perpendicular side, where the peak +actually overhung it. On looking either from the bottom of the valley or +the top of the peak, the depth appeared immense; and, on a summer's day, +when the black thorns and other hardy shrubs that in some placas clothed +its rocky sides were green, to view the river sparkling below you in the +sun, as it flung itself over two or three cataracts of great depth and +boldness, filled the mind with those undefinable sensations of pleasure +inseparable from a contemplation of the sublimities of nature. Nor did +it possess less interest when beheld in the winter storm. Well do we +remember, though then ignorant of our own motives, when we have, in the +turmoil of the elements, climbed its steep, shaggy sides, disappearing +like a speck, or something not of earth, among the dark clouds that +rolled over its summit, for no other purpose than to stand upon its +brow, and look down on the red torrent, dashing with impetuosity from +crag to crag, whilst the winds roared, and the clouds flew in dark +columns around us, giving to the natural wildness of the place an air +of wilder desolation.--Beyond this glen the mountains stretched away for +eight or ten miles in swelling masses, between which lay many extensive +sweeps, well sheltered and abundantly stocked with game, particularly +with hares and grouse. M'Kenna's house stood, as I said, at the foot +of this mountain, just where the yellow surface of the plain began to +darken into the deeper hues of the heath; to the left lay a considerable +tract of stony land in a state of cultivation; and beyond the river, +exactly opposite the house, rose a long line of hills, studded with +houses, and in summer diversified with pasture and corn fields, the +beauty of which was heightened by the columns of smoke that slanted +across the hills, as the breeze carried them through the lucid haze of +the atmosphere. + +M'Kenna's family consisted of himself, his wife, two daughters, and +two sons. One of these was a young man addicted to drink, idle, +ill-tempered, and disobedient; seldom taking a part in the labors of +the family, but altogether devoted to field sports, fairs, markets, +and dances. In many parts of Ireland it is usual to play at cards for +mutton, loaves, fowls, or whiskey, and he was seldom absent from such +gambling parties, if held within a reasonable distance. Often had +the other members of the family remonstrated with him on his idle and +immoral courses; but their remonstrances only excited his bad passions, +and produced, on his part, angry and exasperating language, or open +determination to abandon the family altogether and enlist. For some +years he went on in this way, a hardened, ungodly profligate, spurning +the voice of reproof and of conscience, and insensible to the entreaties +of domestic affection, or the commands of parental authority. Such was +his state of mind and mode of life when our story opens. + +At the time in which the incidents contained in this sketch took place, +the peasantry of Ireland, being less encumbered with heavy rents, and +more buoyant in spirits than the decay of national prosperity has of +late permitted them to be, indulged more frequently, and to a greater +stretch, in those rural sports and festivities so suitable to their +natural love of humor and amusement. Dances, wakes, and weddings, were +then held according to the most extravagant forms of ancient usage; the +people were easier in their circumstances, and consequently indulged in +them with lighter hearts, and a stronger relish for enjoyment. When any +of the great festivals of their religion approached, the popular mind, +unrepressed by poverty and national dissension, gradually elevated +itself to a species of wild and reckless mirth, productive of incidents +irresistibly ludicrous, and remarkably characteristic of Irish manners. +It is not, however, to be expected, that a people whose love of fighting +is so innate a principle in their disposition, should celebrate these +festive seasons without an occasional crime, which threw its deep shadow +over the mirthful character of their customs. Many such occurred; but +they were looked upon then with a degree of horror and detestation of +which we can form but a very inadequate idea at present. + +It was upon the advent of one of those festivals--Christmas--which the +family of M'Kenna, like every other family in the neighborhood, were +making preparations to celebrate with the usual hilarity. They cleared +out their barn in order to have a dance on Christmas-eve; and for this +purpose, the two sons and the servant-man wrought with that kind of +industry produced by the cheerful prospect of some happy event. For a +week or fortnight before the evening on which the dance was appointed +to be held, due notice of it had been given to the neighbors, and, of +course, there was no doubt but that it would be numerously attended. + +Christmas-eve, as the day preceding Christmas is called, has been always +a day of great preparation and bustle. Indeed the whole week previous to +it is also remarkable, as exhibiting the importance attached by the +people to those occasions on which they can give a loose to their love +of fun and frolic. The farm-house undergoes a thorough cleansing. +Father and sons are, or rather used to be, all engaged in repairing +the out-houses, patching them with thatch where it was wanted, mending +mangers, paving stable-floors, fixing cow-stakes, making boraghs,* +removing nuisances, and cleaning streets. + + * The rope with which a cow is tied in the cowhouse. + +On the ether hand, the mother, daughters and maids, were also engaged in +their several departments; the latter scouring the furniture with sand: +the mother making culinary preparations, baking bread, killing fowls, +or salting meat; whilst the daughters were unusually intent upon the +decoration of their own dress, and the making up of the family linen. +All, however, was performed with an air of gayety and pleasure; the ivy +and holly were disposed about the dressers and collar beams with great +glee; the chimneys were swept amidst songs and laughter; many bad +voices, and some good ones, were put in requisition; whilst several who +had never been known to chaunt a stave, alarmed the listeners by the +grotesque and incomprehensible nature of their melody. Those who were +inclined to devotion--and there is no lack of it in Ireland--took to +carols and hymns, which they sang, for want of better airs, to tunes +highly comic. We have ourselves often heard the Doxology sung in Irish +verse to the facetious air of "Paudeen O'Rafferty," and other hymns to +the tune of "Peas upon a Trencher," and "Cruskeen Lawn." Sometimes, +on the contrary, many of them, from the very fulness of jollity, +would become pathetic, and indulge in those touching old airs of their +country, which maybe truly,called songs of sorrow, from the exquisite +and simple pathos with which they abound. This, though it may seem +anomalous, is but natural; for there is nothing so apt to recall to +the heart those friends, whether absent or dead, with whom it has been +connected, as a stated festival. Affection is then awakened, and summons +to the hearth where it presides those on whose face it loves to look; +if they be living, it places them in the circle of happiness which +surrounds it; and if they be removed forever from such scenes, their +memory, which, amidst the din of ordinary life, has almost passed away, +is now restored, and their loss felt as if it had been only just then +sustained. For this reason, at such times, it is not at all unusual to +see the elders of Irish families touched by pathos as well as humor. The +Irish are a people whose affections are as strong as their imaginations +are vivid; and, in illustration of this, we may add, that many a time +have we seen them raised to mirth and melted into tears almost at the +same time, by a song of the most comic character. The mirth, however, +was for the song, and the sorrow for the memory of some beloved relation +who had been remarkable for singing it, or with whom it had been a +favorite. + +We do not affirm that in the family of the M'Kennas there were, upon the +occasion which we were describing, any tears shed. The enjoyments of the +season and the humors of the expected dance, both combined to give them +a more than usual degree of mirth and frolic At an early hour all that +was necessary for the due celebration of that night and the succeeding +day, had been arranged and completed. The whiskey had been laid in, +the Christmas candles bought, the barn cleared out, the seats laid; in +short, every thing in its place, and a place for everything. About one +o'clock, however, the young members of the family began to betray some +symptoms of uneasiness; nor was M'Kenna himself, though the _farithee_ +or man of the house, altogether so exempt from what they felt, as might, +if the cause of it were known to our readers, be expected from a man of +his years and experience. + +From time to time one of the girls tripped out as far as the stile +before the door, where she stood looking in a particular direction until +her sight was fatigued. + +"Och,' och," her mother exclaimed during her absence, "but that +colleen's sick about Barny!--musha, but it would be the beautiful joke, +all out, if he'd disappoint the whole of yez. Faix, it wouldn't be +unlike the same man, to go wherever he can make most money; and sure +small blame to him for that; what's one place to him more than another?" + +"Hut," M'Kenna replied, rising, however, to go out himself, "the +girsha's makin' a _bauliore_ (* laughing stock) of herself." + +"An' where's yourself slippin' out to?" rejoined his wife, with a wink +of shrewd humor at the rest. "I say, Frank, are you goin' to look for +him too? Mavrone, but that's sinsible! Why, thin, you snakin' ould +rogue, is that the way wid you? Throth I have often hard it said, that +'one fool makes many;' but sure enough, 'an ould fools worse nor any.' +Come in here this minute, I say--walk back--you to have your horn up! +Faix, indeed!" + +"Why! I am only goin' to get the small phaties boiled for the pigs, poor +crathurs, for their Christmas dinner. Sure we oughtn't to neglect thim +no more than ourselves, the crathurs, that can't spake their wants, +except by grantin'." + +"Saints above!--the Lord forgive me for bringin' down their names upon +a Christmas Eve, but it's beside himself the man is! an' him knows +that the phaties wor boiled an' made up into balls for them airly this +mornin'!" + +In the meantime, the wife's good-natured attack upon her husband +produced considerable mirth in the family. In consequence of what she +said, he hesitated: but ultimately was proceeding towards the door, +when the daughter returned, her brow flushed, and her eye sparkling with +mirth and delight. + +"Ha!" said the father, with a complacent smile, "all's right, Peggy, you +seen him, alanna. The music's in your eye, acushla; an' the' feet of you +can't keep themselves off o' the ground; an' all bekase you seen Barny +Dhal (* blind Barney) pokin' acrass the fields, wid his head up, an' +his skirt stickn' out behind him wid Granua Waile." (* The name of his +fiddle) + +The father had conjectured properly, for the joy which animated the +girl's countenance could not be misunderstood. + +"Barny's comin'," she exclaimed, clapping her hands with great glee, +"an' our Frank wid him; they're at the river, and Frank has him on his +back, and Granua Waile undhor his arm! Come out, come out! You'll die +for good, lookin' at them staggerin' acrass. I knew he'd come! I knew +it! and be good to thim that invinted Christmas; it's a brave time, +faix!" + +In a moment the inmates were grouped before the door, all anxious to +catch a glimpse of Barny and Granua Waile. + +"Faix ay! Sure enough.. Sarra doubt if it! Wethen, I'd never mistrust +Barny!" might be heard in distinct exclamations from each. + +"Faith he's a Trojan," said the _farithee_, an' must get lashins of +the best we have. Come in, childher, an' red the hob for him. + + "'Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + An' the divil a mouth + Shall be friends wid drouth, + While I have whiskey, ale, or beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but waust a year; + Wid han' in han', + An' can to can, + Then Hi for the whiskey, ale, and beer. + + Och, Christmas comes but wanst a year, + An' Christmas comes but wanst a year; + Then the high and the low + Shall shake their toe, + When primed wid whiskey, ale, an' beer.' + +For all that, the sorra fig I care for either ale or beer, barrin' in +regard of mere drouth; give me the whiskey, Eh, Alley--won't we have a +jorum any how?" + +"Why, thin," replied the wife, "the devil be from me (the crass about +us for namin' him) but you're a greater _Brinoge_ than some of your +childher! I suppose its your capers Frank has in him. Will you behave +yourself, you old slingpoke? Behave, I say, an let me go. Childher, +will you help me to flake this man out o' the place? Look at him, +here, caperin' an' crackin' his fingers afore me, an' pullin' me out to +dance!" + +"Och, och, murdher alive," exclaimed the good man out of breath, "I seen +the day, any way! An', maybe, could show a step or two yet, if I was +well fixed. You can't forget ould times, Alley? Eh, you thief?" + +"Musha, have sinse, man alive," replied the wife, in a tone of placid +gravity, which only betrayed the pleasure she herself felt in his +happiness. "Have sinse, an' the strange man comin' in, an' don't let him +see you in such figaries." + +The observation of the good woman produced a loud laugh among them. +"Arrah what are yez laughing at?" she inquired. + +"Why, mother," said one of her daughters "how could Barny _Dhal_, a +blind man, see anybody?" + +Alley herself laughed at her blunder, but wittily replied, "Faith, +avourneen, maybe he can often see as nately through his ear as you could +do wid your eyes open; sure they say he can hear the grass growin'." + +"For that matther," observed the farithee, joining in the joke, "he can +see as far as any of us--while we're asleep." + +The conversation was thus proceeding, when Barney _Dhal_ and young Frank +M'Kenna entered the kitchen. + +In a moment all hands were extended to welcome Barney: "_Millia failte +ghud_, Barny!" "_Cead millia failte ghud_, Barny!" "Oh, Barny, did you +come at last? You're welcome." "Barny, my Trojan, how is every cart-load +of you?" "How is Granua Waile, Barny?" + +"Why, thin, holy music, did you never see Barny _Dhal_ afore? Clear off +from about me, or, by the sweets of rosin, I'll play the devil an' brake +things. 'You're welcome, Barny!'--an' 'How are you, Barny?' Why thin, +piper o' Moses, don't I know I'm welcome, an' yit you must be tellin' me +what everybody knows! But sure I have great news for you all!" + +"What is that, Barny?" + +"Well, but can yez keep a sacret? Can yez, girls?" + +"Faix can we, Barny, achora." + +"Well, so can I--ha, ha, ha! Now, are,yez sarved? Come, let me to the +hob." + +"Here, Barny; I'll lead you, Barny." + +"No, I _have_ him; come, Barny, I'll lead you: here, achora, this is the +spot--that's it. Why, Barny," said the arch girl, as she placed him in +the corner, "sorra one o' the hob but knows you: it never stirs--ha, ha, +ha!" + +"Throth, a colleen, that tongue o' yours will delude some one afore +long, if it hasn't done so already." + +"But how is Granua Waile, Barny?" + +"Poor Granua is it? Faith, times is hard wid her often. 'Granua,' says +I to her 'what do you say, acushla? we're axed to go to two or three +places to-day--what do you say? Do you lead, an' I'll follow: your +will is my pleasure.' 'An' where are we axed to?' says Granua, sinsible +enough. 'Why,' says I, 'to Paddy Lanigan's, to Mike Hartigan's, to +Jack Lynch's, an' at the heel o' the hunt, to Frank M'Kenna's, of the +Mountain Bar.' 'By my song,' says she, 'you may go where you plase; as +for me, I'm off to Frank M'Kenna's, one of the dacentest men in Europe, +an' his wife the same. Divil a toe I'll set a waggin' in any other place +this night,' says she; 'for 'tis there we're both well thrated wid the +best the house can afford. So,' says she, 'in the name of all that's +musical, you're welcome to the poker an' tongs anywhere else; for me, +I'm off to Frank's.' An' faith, sure enough, she took to her pumps; an' +it was only comin' over the hill there, that young Frank an' I overtuck +her: divil a lie in it." + +In fact, Barney, besides being a fiddler, was a senachie of the first +water; could tell a story, or trace a genealogy as well as any man +living, and draw the long bow in either capacity much better than he +could in the practice of his more legitimate profession. + +"Well, here she is, Barny, to the fore," said the aforesaid arch girl, +"an' now give us a tune." + +"What!" replied the farithee, "is it wid-out either aitin' or dhrinkin'? +Why, the girsha's beside herself! Alley, aroon, get him the linin'* an' +a sup to tighten his elbow." + + * Linin'--lining, so eating and drinking are often + humorously termed by the people. + +The good woman instantly went to provide refreshments for the musician. + +"Come, girls," said Barny, "will yez get me a scythe or a handsaw." + +"A scythe or a handsaw! eh, then what to do, Barny?" + +"Why, to pare my nails, to be sure," replied Barny, with a loud laugh; +"but stay--come back here--I'll make shift to do wid a pair of scissors +this bout. + + "'The parent finds his sons, + The tutherer whips them; + The nailer makes his nails, + The fiddler clips them.'" + +Wherever Barny came there was mirth, and a disposition to be pleased, so +that his jokes always told. + +"Musha, the sorra _pare_ you, Barny," said one of the girls; "but +there's no bein' up to you, good or bad." + +"The sorra _pair_ me, is it? faix, Nancy, you'll soon be paired yourself +wid some one, avourneen. Do you know a sartin young man wid a nose on +him runnin' to a point like the pin of a sun-dial, his knees brakin' the +king's pace, strikin' one another ever since he was able to walk, an' +that was about four years afther he could say his Father Nosther; an' +faith, whatever you may think, there's no makin' them paceable except by +puttin' between them! The wrong side of his shin, too, is foremost; +an' though the one-half of his two feet is all heels, he keeps the same +heels for set days an' bonfire nights, an' savinly walks on his ankles. +His leg, too, Nancy, is stuck in the middle of his foot, like a poker in +a pick-axe; an', along wid all--" + +"Here, Barny, thry your hand at this," said the good woman, who had +not heard his ludicrous description of her fictitious son-in-law--"_eeh +arran agus bee laudher_, Barny, _ate bread and be strong_. I'll warrant +when you begin to play, they'll give you little time to do anything but +scrape away;--taste the dhrink first, anyway, in the name o' God,"--and +she filled him a glass. + +"Augh, augh! faith you're the moral of a woman. Are you there, Frank +M'Kenna?--here's a sudden disholution to your family! May they be +scattered wid all speed--manin' the girls--to all corners o' the +parish!--ha, ha, ha! Well, that won't vex them, anyhow; an' next, here's +a merry Chris'mas to us, an' many o' them! Whooh! blur-an'-age! whooh! +oh, by gorra!--that's--that's--Frank run afther my breath--I've lost +it--run, you tory: oh, by gor, that's stuff as sthrong as Sampson, so +it is. Arrah, what well do you dhraw that from? for, faith, 'twould be +mighty convanient to live near it in a hard frost." + +Barny was now silent for some time, which silence was produced by the +industry he displayed in assailing the substantial refreshments before +him. When he had concluded his repast he once more tasted the liquor; +after which he got Granua Waile, and continued playing their favorite +tunes, and amusing them with anecdotes, both true and false, until the +hour drew nigh when his services were expected by the young men and +maidens who had assembled to dance in the barn. Occasionally, however, +they took a preliminary step in which they were joined by few of their +neighbors. Old Frank himself felt his spirits elevated by contemplating +the happiness of his children and their young associates. + +"Frank," said he, to the youngest of his sons, "go down to Owen +Reillaghan's, and tell him an' his family to come up to the dance early +in the evenin'. Owen's a pleasant man," he added, "and a good neighbor, +but a small thought too strict in his duties. Tell him to come up, +Frank, airly, I say; he'll have time enough to go to the Midnight Mass +afther dancin' the 'Rakes of Ballyshanny,' and 'the Baltihorum jig;' an' +maybe he can't do both in style!" + +"Ay," said Frank, in a jeering manner, "he carries a handy heel at +the dancin', and a soople tongue at the prayin'; but let him alone for +bringin' the bottom of his glass and his eyebrow acquainted. But if he'd +pray less--" + +"Go along, a _veehonce_, (* you profligate) an' bring him up," replied +the father: "you to talk about prayin'! Them that 'ud catch you at a +prayer ought to be showed for the world to wondher at: a man wid two +heads an him would be a fool to him. Go along, I say, and do what you're +bid." + +"I'm goin'," said Frank. "I'm off; but what if he doesn't come? I'll +then have my journey for nothin'." + +"An' it's good payment for any journey ever you'll make, barrin' it's to +the gallows," replied the father, nearly provoked at his reluctance in +obeying him: "won't you have dancin' enough in the coorse o' the night, +for you'll not go to the Midnight Mass, and why don't you be off wid you +at wanst?" + +Frank shrugged his shoulders two or three times, being loth to leave +the music and dancing; but on seeing his father about to address him +in sharper language, he went out with a frown on his brows, and a +half-smothered imprecation bursting from his lips. + +He had not proceeded more than a few yards from the door, when he met +Rody Teague, his father's servant, on his way to the kitchen. "Rody," +said he, "isn't this a purty business? My father wantin' to send me down +to Owen Reillaghan's; when, by the vartue o' my oath, I'd as soon go +half way into hell, as to any place where his son, Mike Reillaghan, 'ud +be. How will I manage, Rody?" + +"Why," replied Rody, "as to meetin' wid Mike, take my advice and avoid +him. And what is more I'd give up Peggy Gartland for good. Isn't it a +mane thing for you, Frank, to be hangin' afther a girl that's fonder +of another than she is of yourself. By this and by that, I'd no more do +it--avvouh! catch me at it--I'd have spunk in me." + +Frank's brow darkened as Rody spoke; instead of instantly replying', he +was silent and appeared to be debating some point in his own mind, on +which he had not come to a determination. + +"My father didn't hear of the fight between Mike and me?" said he, +interrogatively--"do you think he did, Rody?" + +"Not to my knowledge," replied the servant; "if he did, he wouldn't +surely send you down; but talking of the fight, you are known to be a +stout, well-fought boy--no doubt of that--still, I say, you had no right +to provoke Mike as you did, who, it's well known, could bate any two men +in the parish; and so sign, you got yourself dacently trounced, about a +girl that doesn't love a bone in your skin." + +"He disgraced me, Rody," observed Frank--"I can't rise my head; and +you know I was thought, by all the parish, as good a man as him. No, I +wouldn't, this blessed Christmas Eve above us, for all that ever my name +was worth, be disgraced by him as I am. But--hould, man--have patience!" + +"Throth and, Frank, that's what you never had," said Eody; "and as to +bein' disgraced, you disgraced yourself. What right had you to challenge +the boy to fight, and to strike him into the bargain, bekase Peggy +Gartland danced with him, and wouldn't go out wid you? Death alive, sure +that wasn't his fault." + +Every word of reproof which proceeded from Rody's lips but strengthened +Frank's rage, and added to his sense of shame; he looked first in the +direction of Reillaghan's house, and immediately towards the little +village in which Peggy Gartland lived. + +"Rody," said he, slapping him fiercely on the shoulder, "go +in--I've--I've made up my mind upon what I'll do; go in, Eody, and get +your dinner; but don't be out of the way when I come back." + +"And what have you made up your mind to?" inquired Eody. + +"Why, by the sacred Mother o' Heaven, Rody, to--to--be friends wid +Mike." + +"Ay, there's sinse and rason in that," replied Eody; "and if you'd take +my advice you'd give up Peggy Gartland, too." + +"I'll see you when I come back, Eody; don't be from about the place." + +And as he spoke, a single spring brought him over the stile at which +they held the foregoing conversation. + +On advancing, he found himself in one of his father's fields, under the +shelter of an elder-hedge. Here he paused, and seemed still somewhat +uncertain as to the direction in which he should proceed. At length he +decided; the way towards Peggy Gartland's was that which he took, and +as he walked rapidly, he soon found himself at the village in which she +lived. + +It was now a little after twilight; the night was clear the moon being +in her first quarter, and the clouds through which she appeared to +struggle, were light and fleecy, but rather cold-looking, such, in +short, as would seem to promise a sudden fall of snow. Frank had passed +the two first cabins of the village, and was in the act of parrying the +attacks of some yelping cur that assailed him, when he received a slap +on the back, accompanied by a _gho manhi Dhea gliud, a Franchas, co wul +thu guilh a nish, a rogora duh_?* + + * God save you, Frank! where are you going now, you + black rogue? + +"Who's this?" exclaimed Frank: "eh! why, Darby More, you sullin' thief +o' the world, is this you?" + +"Ay, indeed; an' you're goin' down to Peggy's?" said the the other, +pointing significantly towards Peggy Gartland's house. "Well, man, +what's the harm? She may get worse, that is, hopin' still that you'll +mend your manners, a bouchal: but isn't your nose out o' joint there, +Frank, darlin'?" + +"No sich thing at all, Darby," replied Frank, gulping down his +indignation, which rose afresh on hearing that the terms on which he +stood with Peggy were so notorious. + +"Throth but it is," said Darby, "an' to tell the blessed thruth, I'm not +sarry that it's out o' joint; for when I tould you to lave the case in +my hands, along wid a small thrifle o' silver that didn't signify much +to you--whoo! not at all: you'd rather play it at cards, or dhrink it, +or spind it wid no good. Out o' joint! nrasha, if ever a man's nose was +to be pitied, and yours is: why, didn't Mike Reillaghan put it out o' +joint, twist? first in regard to Peggy, and secondly by the batin' he +gave you an it." + +"It's well known, Darby," replied Frank, "that 'twas by a chance blow he +did it; and, you know, a chance blow might kill the devil." + +"But there was no danger of Mike's gettin' the chance blow," observed +the sarcastic vagrant, for such he was. + +"Maybe it's afore him," replied his companion: "we'll have another +thrial for it, any how; but where are you goin', Darby? Is it to the +dance?" + +Me! Is it a man "wid two holy ordhers an him?* No, no! I might go up, +may be, as far as your father's, merely to see the family, only for the +night that's in it; but I'm goin' to another frind's place to spind my +Chris'mas, an' over an' above, I must go to the Midnight Mass. Frank, +change your coorses, an' mend your life, an' don't be the talk o' the +parish. Remimber me to the family, an' say I'll see them soon." + + * The religious orders, as they are termed, most + commonly entered into by the peasantry, are those of + the Scapular and St. Francis. The order of Jesus--or + that of the Jesuits, is only entered into by the clergy + and the higher lay classes. + +"How long will you stop in the neighborhood?" inquired Frank. + +"Arrah why, acushla?" replied the mendicant, softening his language. + +"I might be wantin to see you some o' these days," said the other: +"indeed, it's not unlikely, Darby; so don't go, any how, widout seein' +me." + +"Ah!" said Darby, "had you taken a fool's advice--but it can't be helped +now--the harm's done, I doubt; how-an'-ever, for the matther o' that, +may be I have as good as Peggy in my eye for you; by the same token, as +the night's could, warm your tooth, avick; there's waker wather nor +this in Lough Mecall. Sorra sup of it over I keep for my own use at all, +barrin' when I take a touch o' configuration in my bowels, or, may +be, when I'm too long at my prayers; for, God help me, sure I'm but +sthrivin', wid the help o' one thing an' another, to work out my +salvation as well as I can! Your health, any how, an' a merry Chris'mas +to you!--not forgettin' myself," he added, putting to his lips a large +cow's horn, which he kept slung beneath his arm, like the bugle of a +coach-guard, only that this was generally concealed by an outside coat, +no two inches of which were of the same materials of color. Having taken +a tolerably large draught from this, which, by the "way, held near two +quarts, he handed it with a smack and a shrug to Frank, who immediately +gave it a wipe with the skirt of his coat, and pledged his companion. + +"I'll be wantin'," observed Frank, "to see you in the hollydays--faith, +that stuff's to be christened yet, Darby--so don't go till we have a +dish o' discoorse about somethin' I'll mintion to you. As for Peggy +Gartland, I'm done wid her; she may marry ould Nick for me." + +"Or you for ould Nick," said the cynic, "which would be nearly the +same thing: but go an, avick, an' never heed me; sure I must have my +spake--doesn't every body know Darby More?" + +"I've nothin' else to say now," added Frank, "and you have my authority +to spread it as far as you plase. I'm done wid her: so good-night, an' +good _cuttin'_ (* May what's in it never fail) to your horn, Darby!--You +damn ould villian!" he subjoined in a low voice, when Darby had got out +of his hearing: "surely it's not in yourself, but in the blessed words +and things you have about you, that there is any good." + +"Musha, good-night, Frank alanna," replied the other;--"an' the divil +sweep you, for a skamin' vagabone, that's a curse to the country, and +has kep me out o' more weddins than any one I ever met wid, by your +roguery in puttin' evil between frinds an' neighbors, jist whin they'd +be ready for the priest to say the words over them! Good won't come of +you, you profligate." + +The last words were scarcely uttered by the sturdy mendicant, when +he turned round to observe whether or not Frank would stop at +Larry Gartland's, the father of the girl to whom he had hitherto +unsuccessfully avowed his attachment. + +"I'd depind an him," said he, in a soliloquy, "as soon as I'd depind +upon ice of an hour's growth: an', whether or not, sure as I'm an my way +to Owen Reillaghan's, the father of the dacent boy that he's strivin' to +outdo, mayn't I as well watch his motions, any way?" + +He accordingly proceeded along the shadowy side of the street, in order +to avoid Frank's eye, should he chance to look back, and quietly dodged +on until he fairly saw him enter the house. + +Having satisfied himself that the object of Frank's visit to the +village was in some shape connected with Peggy Gartland, the mendicant +immediately retraced his steps, and at a pace more rapid than usual, +strided on to Owen Reillaghan's, whither he arrived just in time to +secure an excellent Christmas-eve dinner. + +In Ireland, that description of mendicants which differ so strikingly +from the common crowd of beggars as to constitute a distinct species, +comprehends within itself as anomalous an admixture of fun and devotion, +external rigor and private licentiousness, love of superstition and of +good whiskey, as might naturally be supposed, without any great sketch +of credulity, to belong to men thrown among a people in whom so many +extremes of character and morals meet. The known beggar, who goes his +own rounds, and has his own walk, always adapts his character to that of +his benefactor, whose whims and peculiarities of temper he studies +with industry, and generally with success. By this means, joined to +a dexterity in tracing out the private history of families and +individuals, he is enabled to humor the capprices, to manage the +eccentricities, and to touch with a masterly hand the prejudices, and +particular opinions, of his patrons; and this he contrives to do with +great address and tact. Such was the character of Darby More, whose +person, naturally large, was increased to an enormous size by the number +of coats, blankets, and bags, with which he was encumbered. A large +belt, buckled round his body, contained within its girth much more of +money, meal, and whiskey, than ever met the eye; his hat was exceedingly +low in the crown; his legs were cast in at least three pairs of +stockings; and in his hand he carried a long cant, spiked at the lower +end, with which he slung himself over small rivers and dykes, and kept +dogs at bay. He was a devotee, too, notwithstanding the whiskey horn +under his arm; attended wakes, christenings, and weddings: rubbed for +the rose (* a scrofulous swelling) and king's evil, (for the varlet +insisted that he was a seventh son); cured toothaches, colics, and +headaches, by charms; but made most money by a knack which he possessed +of tatooing into the naked breast the representation of Christ upon +the cross. This was a secret of considerable value, for many of the +superstitious people believed that by having this stained in upon them, +they would escape unnatural deaths, and be almost sure of heaven. + +When Darby approached Reillaghan's house, he was considering the +propriety of disclosing to his son the fact of having left his rival +with Peggy Gartland. He ultimately determined that it would be proper +to do so; for he was shrewd enough to suspect that the wish Frank had +expressed of seeing him before he left the country, was but a ruse to +purchase his silence touching his appearance in the village. In this, +however, he was mistaken. + +"God save the house!" exclaimed Darby, on entering--"God save the house, +an' all that's in it! God save it to the North!" and he formed the sign +of the cross in every direction to which he turned: "God save it to the +South! + to the Aiste! + and to the Waiste! + Save it upwards! + and +save it downwards! + Save it backwards! + and save it forwards! + Save +it right! + and save it left! + Save it by night! + save it by day! + +Save it here! + save it there! + Save it this way! + an' save it that +way! + Save it atin'! + + + an' save it drinkin'! + + + + + + + + _Oxis +Doxis Glorioxis_--Amin. An' now that I've blessed the place in the name +of the nine Patriarchs, how are yez all, man, woman, an' child? An' a +merry Christmas to yez, says Darby More!" + +Darby, in the usual spirit of Irish hospitality, received a sincere +welcome, was placed up near the fire, a plate filled with the best food +on the table laid before him, and requested to want nothing for the +asking. + +"Why, Darby," said Reillaghan, "we expected you long ago: why didn't you +come sooner?" + +"The Lord's will be done! for ev'ry man has his throubles," replied +Darby, stuffing himself in the corner like an Epicure; "an' why should +a sinner like me, or the likes of me, be without thim? 'Twas a dhrame +I had last night that kep me. They say, indeed, that dhrames go by +contriaries, but not always, to my own knowledge." + +"An' what was the dhrame about, Darby?" inquired Reillaghan's wife. + +"Why, ma'am, about some that I see on this hearth, well, an' in good +health; may they long live to be so! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin!" + + + + +"Blessed Virgin! Darby, sure it would be nothin' bad that's to happen? +Would it, Darby?" + +"Keep yourself aisy on that head. I have widin my own mind the power of +makin' it come out for good--I know the prayer for it. Oxis Doxis!" + + + +"God be praised for that, Darby; sure it would be a terrible business, +all out, if any thing was to happen. Here's Mike that was born on +Whissle * Monday, of all days in the year, an' you know, they say that +any child born on that day is to die an unnatural death. We named Mike +after St. Michael that he might purtect him." + + * The people believe the superstition to be as is + stated above. Any child born on Whitsunday, or the day + after, is supposed to be doomed to die an unnatural + death. The consequence is, that the child is named + after and dedicated to some particular saint, in the + hope that his influence may obviate his evil doom. + +"Make yourself aisy, I say; don't I tell you I have the prayer to keep +it back--hach! hach!--why, there's a bit stuck in my throath, some +way! Wurrah dheelish, what's this! Maybe, you could give me a sup o' +dhrink--wather, or anything to moisten the morsel I'm atin? Wurrah, +ma'am dear, make haste, it's goin' agin' the breath wid me!" + +"Oh, the sorra taste o' wather, Darby," said Owen; "sure this is +Christmas-eve, you know: so you see, Darby, for ould acquaintance sake, +an' that you may put up an odd prayer now an' thin for us, jist be +thryin' this." + +Darby honored the gift by immediate acceptance. + +"Well, Owen Reillaghan," said he, "you make me take more o' this stuff +nor any man I know; and particularly by rason that bein' given, wid a +blessin', to the ranns, an' prayers, an' holy charms, I don't think it +so good; barrin', indeed, as Father Donnellan towld me, when the wind, +by long fastin', gets into my stomach, as was the case today, I'm often +throubled, God help me, wid a configuration in the--hugh! ugh--an' thin +it's good for me--a little of it." + +"This would make a brave powdher-horn, Darby Moore," observed one +of Reilla-ghan's sons, "if it wasn't so big. What do you keep in it, +Darby?" + +"Why, _avillish_, (* my sweet) nothin' indeed but a sup o' Father +Donnellan's holy water, that they say by all accounts it costs him great +trouble to make, by rason that he must fast a long time, and pray by the +day, afore he gets himself holy enough to consecrate it." + +"It smells like whiskey, Darby," said the boy, without any intention, +however, of offending him. "It smells very like poteen." + +"Hould yer tongue, Risthard," said the elder Reillaghan; "what 'ud make +the honest man have whiskey in it? Didn't he tell you what's in it?" + +"The gorsoon's right enough," replied Darby. "I got the horn from Barny +Dalton a couple o' days agone; 'twas whiskey he had in it, an' it smells +of it sure enough, an' will, indeed, for some time longer. Och! och! the +heavens be praised, I've made a good dinner! May they never know want +that gave it to me! Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin!" + + + + +"Darby, thry this again," said Reillaghan, offering him another bumper. + +"Troth an' I will, thin, for I find myself a great dale the betther of +the one I tuck. Well, here's health an' happiness to us, an' may we all +meet in heaven! Risthard, hand me that horn till I be goin' out to the +barn, in ordher to do somethin' for my sowl. The holy wather's a good +thing to have about one." + +"But the dhrame, Darby?" inquired Mrs. Reillaghan. "Won't you tell it to +us?" + +"Let Mike follow me to the barn," he replied, "an' I'll tell him as +much of it as he ought to hear. An' now let all of yez prepare for the +Midnight Mass; go there wid proper intuitions, an' not to be coortin' +or dhrinkin' by the way. We're all sinners, any way, an' oughtn't to +neglect our sowls. Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!" + +He immediately strided with the horn under his arm, towards the barn, +where he knelt, and began his orisons in a tone sufficiently loud to be +heard in the kitchen. When he was gone, Mrs. Reillaghan, who, with +the curiosity natural to her sex, and the superstition peculiar to +her station in life, felt anxious to hear Darby's dream, urged Mike to +follow him forthwith, that he might prevail on him to detail it at full +length. + +Darby, who knew not exactly what the dream ought to be, replied to +Mike's inquiries vaguely. + +"Mike," said he, "until the proper time comes, I can't tell it; but +listen; take my advice, an' slip down to Peggy Gartland's by and by. I +have strong suspicions, if my dhrame is thrue, that Frank M'Kenna has a +design upon her. People may be abroad this night widout bein' noticed, +by rason o' the Midnight Mass; Frank has, friends in Kilnaheery, down +behind the moors; an' the divil might tempt him to bring her there. Keep +your eye an him, or rather an Peggy. If my dhrame's true, he was there +this night." + +"I thought I gave him enough on her account," said. Mike. "The poor girl +hasn't a day's pace in regard of him; but, plase goodness, I'll soon put +an end to it, for I'll marry her durin' the Hollydays." + +"Go, avick, an' let me finish my Pudheran Partha: I have to get through +it before the Midnight Mass comes. Slip down, and find out what he was +doin'; and when you come back, let me know." + +Mike, perfectly aware of young M'Kenna's character, immediately went +towards Lisrum, for so the village where Peggy Gartland lived was +called. He felt the danger to be apprehended from the interference of +his rival the more acutely, inasmuch as he was not ignorant of the feuds +and quarrels which the former had frequently produced between friends +and neighbors, by the subtle poison of his falsehoods, which were both +wanton and malicious. He therefore advanced at an unusually brisk pace, +and had nearly reached the village, when he perceived in the distance a +person resembling Frank approaching him at a pace nearly as rapid as his +own. + +"If it's Frank M'Kenna," thought he, "he must pass me, for this is his +straight line home." + +It appeared, however, that he had been mistaken; for he whom he +had supposed to be the object of his enmity, crossed the field by a +different path, and seemed to be utterly ignorant of the person whom +he was about to meet--so far, at least, as a quick, free, unembarrassed +step could intimate his unacquaintance with him. + +The fact, however, was, that Reillaghan, had the person whom he met +approached him more nearly, would have found his first suspicions +correct. Frank was then on his return from Gartland's, and no sooner +perceived Reillaghan, whom he immediately recognized by his great +height, than he took another path in order to avoid him. The enmity +between these rivals was, deep and implacable; aggravated on the one +hand by a sense of unmerited injury, and on the other by personal defeat +and the bitterest jealousy. For this reason neither of them wished to +meet, particularly Frank M'Kenna, who not only hated, but feared his +enemy. + +Having succeeded in avoiding Reillaghan, the latter soon reached home; +but here he found the door closed, and the family, without a single +exception, in the barn, which was now nearly crowded with the youngsters +of both sexes from the surrounding villages. + +Frank's arrival among them gave a fresh impulse to their mirth and +enjoyment. His manners were highly agreeable, and his spirits buoyant +almost to levity. Notwithstanding the badness of his character in the +opinion of the sober, steady, and respectable inhabitants of the parish, +yet he was a favorite with the desolate and thoughtless, and with many +who had not an opportunity of seeing him except in his most favorable +aspect. Whether he entertained on this occasion any latent design +that might have induced him to assume a frankness of manner, and an +appearance of good-humor, which he did not feel, it is difficult to +determine. Be this as it may, he made himself generally agreeable, +saw that every one was comfortable, suggested an improvement in the +arrangement of the seats, broke several jests on Bariry and Granua +Waile--which, however, were returned with interest--and, in fact, +acquitted himself so creditably, that his father whispered with a sigh +to his mother--"Alley, achora, wouldn't we be the happy family if that +misfortunate boy of ours was to be always the thing he appears to be? +God help him! the gommach, if he had sinse, and the fear o' God before +him, he'd not be sich a pace o' desate to sthrangers, and such a divil's +limb wid ourselves: but he's young, an' may see his evil coorses in +time, wid the help o' God." + +"Musha, may God grant it!" exclaimed his mother: "a fine slip he is, if +his heart 'ud only turn to the right thoughts. One can't help feelin' +pride out o' him, when they see him actin' wid any kind o' rason." + +The Irish dance, like every other assembly composed of Irishmen and +Irishwomen, presents the spectators with those traits which enter into +our conception of rollicking fun and broad humor. The very arrangements +are laughable; and when joined to the eccentric strains of some blind +fiddler like Barny Dhal, to the grotesque and caricaturish faces of the +men, and the modest, but evidently arch and laughter-loving countenances +of the females, they cannot fail to impress an observing mind with +the obvious truth, that a nation of people so thoughtless and easily +directed from the serious and useful pursuits of life to such scenes, +can seldom be industrious and wealthy, nor, despite their mirth and +humor, a happy people. + +The barn in which they danced on this occasion was a large one. +Around the walls were placed as many seats as could be spared from +the neighbors' houses; these were eked out by sacks of corn laid +length-wise, logs of round timber, old creels, iron pots with their +bottoms turned up, and some of them in their usual position. On these +were the youngsters seated, many of the "boys" with their sweethearts on +their knees, the arms of the fair ones lovingly around their necks; and, +on the contrary many of the young women with their bachelors on their +laps, their own necks also gallantly encircled by the arms of their +admirers. Up in a corner sat Barny, surrounded by the seniors of the +village, sawing the fiddle with indefatigable vigor, and leading the +conversation with equal spirit. Indeed, his laugh was the loudest, and +his joke the best; whilst, ever and anon, his music became perfectly +furious--that is to say, when he rasped the fiddle with a desperate +effort "to overtake the dancers," from whom, in the heat of the +conversation, he had unwittingly lagged behind. + +Dancing in Ireland, like everything else connected with the amusement of +the people, is frequently productive of bloodshed. It is not unusual for +crack dancers from opposite parishes, or from distant parts of the same +parish, to meet and dance against each other for victory. But as the +judges in those cases consist of the respective friends or factions of +the champions, their mode of decision may readily be conjectured. Many +a battle is fought in consequence of such challenges, the result usually +being that not he who has the lightest heel, but the hardest head, +generally comes off the conqueror. + +While the usual variety of Irish dances--the reel, jig, fling, +three-part-reel, four-part-reel, rowly-powly, country-dance, cotillion, +or cut-along (as the peasantry call it), and minuet, vulgarly minion, +and minionet--were going forward in due rotation, our readers may be +assured that those who were seated around the walls did not permit the +time to pass without improving it. Many an attachment is formed at +such amusements, and many a bitter jealousy is excited: the prude and +coquette, the fop and rustic Lothario, stand out here as prominently +to the eye of him who is acquainted with human nature, as they do in +similar assemblies among the great: perhaps more so, as there is less +art, and a more limited knowledge of intrigue, to conceal their natural +character. + +The dance in Ireland usually commences with those who sit next the door, +from whence it goes round with the sun. In this manner it circulates two +or three times, after which the order is generally departed from, and +they dance according as they can. This neglect of the established rule +is also a fertile source of discord; for when two persons rise at the +same time, if there be not room for both, the right of dancing first is +often decided by blows. + +At the dance we are describing, however, there was no dissension; every +heart appeared to be not only elated with mirth, but also free from +resentment and jealousy. The din produced by the thumping of vigorous +feet upon the floor, the noise of the fiddle, the chat between Barny and +the little sober knot about him, together with the brisk murmur of the +general conversation, and the expression of delight which sat on every +countenance, had something in them elevating to the spirits. + +Barny, who knew their voices, and even the mode of dancing peculiar to +almost every one in the barn, had some joke for each. When a young +man brings out his sweetheart--which he frequently does in a manner +irresistibly ludicrous, sometimes giving a spring from the earth, his +caubeen set with a knowing air on one side of his head, advancing at +a trot on tiptoe, catching her by the ear, leading her out to her +position, which is "to face the fiddler," then ending by a snap of the +fingers, and another spring, in which he brings his heel backwards +in contact with his ham;--we say, when a young man brings out his +sweetheart, and places her facing the fiddler, he asks her what will +she dance; to which, if she as no favorite tune, she uniformly +replies--"Your will is my pleasure." This usually made Barny groan +aloud. + +"What ails you, Barny?" + +"Oh, thin, murdher alive, how little thruth's in this world! Your will's +my pleassure! _Baithirshin!_ but, sowl, if things goes an, it won't be +long so!" + +"Why, Barny," the young man would exclaim, "is the ravin' fit comin' +over you?" + +"No, in troth, Jim; _but it's thinkin' of home I am_. Howandiver, do you +go an; but, _naboklish!_ what'll ye have?" + +"'Jig Polthouge,' Barny: but on your wrist ma bouchal, or Katty will +lave us both ut o' sight in no time. Whoo! success! clear the coorse. +Well done, Barny! That's the go." + +When the youngsters had danced for some time, the fathers and mothers of +the village were called upon "to step out." This was generally the most +amusing scene in the dance. No excuse is ever taken on such occasions, +for when they refuse, about a dozen young fellows place them, will they +will they, upright upon the floor, from whence neither themselves nor +their wives are permitted to move until they dance. No sooner do they +commence, than, they are mischievously pitted against each other by two +sham parties, one encouraging the wife, the other cheering on the good +man; whilst the fiddler, falling in with the frolic, plays in his most +furious style. The simplicity of character, and, perhaps, the lurking +vanity of those who are the butts of the mirth on this occasion, +frequently heighten the jest. + +"Why, thin, Paddy, is it strivin' to outdo me you are? Faiks, avourneen, +you never seen that day, any way," the old woman would exclaim, exerting +all her vigor. + +"Didn't I? Sowl, I'll sober you before I lave the flure, for all that," +her husband would reply. + +"An' do you forget," she would rejoin, "that the M'Carthy dhrop is in +me; ay, an' it's to the good still." + +And the old dame would accompany the boast with a fresh attempt at +agility; to which Paddy would respond by "cutting the buckle," and +snapping his fingers, whilst fifty voices, amidst roars of laughter, +were loud in encouraging each. + +"Handle your feet, Kitty, darlin'--the mettle's lavin' him!" + +"Off wid the brogues, Paddy, or she'll do you. That's it; kick off the +other, an' don't spare the flure." + +"A thousand guineas on Katty! M'Carthy agin Gallagher for +ever!--whirroo!" + +"Blur alive the flure's not benefittin by you, Paddy. Lay on it, +man!--That's it!--Bravo!--Whish!--Our side agin Europe!" + +"Success, Paddy! Why you could dance the Dusty Miller upon a flure paved +wid drawn razures, you're so soople." + +"Katty for ever! The blood's in you, Katty; you'll win the day, a _ban +choir!_ (* decent woman). More power to you!" + +"I'll hould a quart on Paddy. Heel an' toe, Paddy, you sinner!" + +"Right an' left, Katty; hould an', his breath's goin'." + +"Right an' wrong, Paddy, you spalpeen. The whiskey's an you, man alive: +do it decently, an' don't let me lose the wager." + +In this manner would they incite some old man, and, perhaps, his older +wife, to prolonged exertion, and keep them bobbing and jigging about, +amidst roars of laughter, until the worthy couple could dance no longer. + +During stated periods of the night, those who took the most prominent +part in the dance, got a plate and hat, with which they went round the +youngsters, to make collections for the fiddler. Barny reserved his best +and most sarcastic jokes for these occasions; for so correct was +his ear, that he felt little difficulty in detecting those whose +contributions to him were such as he did not relish. + +The aptitude of the Irish for enjoying humorous images was well +displayed by one or two circumstances which occurred on this night. A +few of both sexes, who had come rather late, could get no other seats +than the metal pots to which we have alluded. The young women were +dressed in white, and their companions, who were also their admirers, +exhibited, in proud display, each a bran-new suit, consisting of +broadcloth coat, yellow-buff vest, and corduroy small-clothes, with a +bunch of broad silk ribbons standing out at each knee. They were the +sons and daughters of respectable farmers, but as all distinctions here +entirely ceased, they were fain to rest contented with such seats as +they could get, which on this occasion consisted of the pots aforesaid. +No sooner, however, had they risen to dance than the house was convulsed +with laughter, heightened by the sturdy vigor with which, unconscious of +their appearance, they continued to dance. That part of the white female +dresses which had come in contact with the pots, exhibited a circle +like the full moon, and was black as pitch. Nor were their partners +more lucky: those who sat on the mouths of the pots had the back part +of their dresses streaked with dark circles, equally ludicrous. The mad +mirth with which they danced, in spite of their grotesque appearance, +was irresistible. This, and other incidents quite as pleasant--such as +the case of a wag who purposely sank himself into one of the pots, until +it stuck to him through half the dance--increased the laughter, and +disposed them to peace and cordiality. + +No man took a more active part in these frolics than young Frank +M'Kenna. It is true, a keen eye might have noticed under his gayety +something of a moody and dissatisfied air. As he moved about from time +to time, he whispered something to above a dozen persons, who were well +known in the country as his intimate companions, young fellows whose +disposition and character were notoriously bad. When he communicated +the whisper, a nod of assent was given by his confidants, after which it +might be remarked that they moved round to the door with a caution that +betrayed a fear of observation, and quietly slunk out of the barn one +by one, though Frank himself did not immediately follow them. In about +a quarter of an hour afterwards, Rody came in, gave him a signal and sat +down. Frank then followed his companions, and after a few minutes +Rody also disappeared. This was about ten o'clock, and the dance was +proceeding with great gayety and animation. + +Frank's dread of openly offending his parents prevented him from +assembling his associates in the dwelling-house; the only convenient +place of rendezvous, therefore, of which they could avail themselves, +was the stable. Here they met, and Frank, after uncorking a bottle of +poteen, addressed them to the following effect: + +"Boys, there's great excuse for me, in regard of my fight wid Mike +Reillaghan; that you'll all allow. Come, boys, your healths! I can tell +yez you'll find this good, the divil a doubt of it; be the same token, +that I stole it from my father's Christmas dhrink; but no matther for +that--I hope we'll never do worse. So, as I was sayin', you must bear me +out as well as you can, when I'm brought before the Dilegates to-morrow, +for challengin' and strikin' a brother.* But, I think, you'll stand by +me, boys?" + + * Those connected with illegal combinations are sworn + to have no private or personal quarrels, nor to strike + nor provoke each other to fight. He and Mike were + members of such societies. + +"By the tarn-o'-war, Frank, myself will fight to the knees for you." + +"Faith, you may depend on us, Frank, or we're not to the fore." + +"I know it, boys; and now for a piece of fun for this night. You +see--come, Lanty, tare-an'-ounkers, drink, man alive--you see, wid +regard to Peggy Gartland--eh? what the hell! is that a cough?" + +"One o' the horses, man--go an." + +"Rody, did Darby More go into the barn before you came out of it?" + +"Darby More? not he. If he did, I'd a seen him surely." + +"Why, thin, I'd kiss the book I seen him goin' towards the barn, as I +was comin' into the stable. Sowl, he's a made boy, that; an' if I don't +mistake, he's in Mike Reillaghan's intherest. You know divil a secret +can escape him." + +"Hut! the prayin' ould crathur was on his way to the Midnight Mass; he +thravels slow, and, of coorse, has to set out early; besides, you know, +he has Carols, and bades, and the likes, to sell at the chapel." + +"Thrue, for you, Rody; why, I thought he might take it into his head +to watch my motions, in regard that, as I said, I think him in Mike's +intherest." + +"Nonsense, man, what the dickens 'ud bring him into the stable loft? +Why, you're beside yourself?" + +"Be Gor, I bleeve so, but no matther. Boys, I want yez to stand to me +to-night: I'm given to know for a sartinty that Mike and Peggy will be +buckled to durin' the Hollydays. Now, I wish to get the girl myself; for +if I don't get her, may I be ground to atoms if he will." + +"Well, but how will you manage? for she's fond of him." + +"Why, I'll tell you that. I was over there this evenin', and I +understand that all the family is goin' to the Midnight Mass, barrin' +herself. You see, while they are all gone to the 'mallet-office,'* we'll +slip down wid a thrifle o' soot on our mugs, and walk down wid her to +Kilnaheery, beyant the mountains, to an uncle o' mine; an' affcher that, +let any man marry her who chooses to run the risk. Be the contints o' +the book, Atty, if you don't dhrink I'll knock your head agin the wall, +you gommoch!" + + * Mass, humorously so called, from the fact of those + who attend it beating their breasts during their + devotions. + +"Why, thin, by all that's beautiful, it's a good spree; and we'll stick +to you like pitch." + +"Be the vartue o' my oath, you don't desarve to be in it, or you'd +dhrink dacent. Why, here's another bottle, an' maybe there's more where +that was. Well, let us finish what we have, or be the five crasses, I'll +give up the whole business." + +"Why, thin, here's success to us, any way; an' high hangin' to them that +'ud desart you in your skame this blessed an' holy night that's in it!" + +This was re-echoed by his friends, who pledged themselves by the most +solemn oaths not to abandon him in the perpetration of the outrage which +they had concerted. The other bottle was immediately opened, and while +it lasted, the details of the plan were explained at full length. This +over, they entered the barn one by one as before, except Frank and Rody, +who as they were determined to steal another bottle from the father's +stock, did not appear among the dancers until this was accomplished. + +The re-appearance of these rollicking and reckless young fellows in +the dance, was hailed by all present; for their outrageous mirth was in +character with the genius of the place. The dance went on with spirit; +brag dancers were called upon to exhibit in hornpipes; and for this +purpose a table was bought in from Frank's kitchen on which they +performed in succession, each dancer applauded by his respective party +as the best in the barn. + +In the meantime the night had advanced; the hour might be about +half-past ten o'clock; all were in the zenith of enjoyment, when old +Frank M'Kenna addressed them as follows:-- + +"Neighbors, the dickens o' one o' me would like to break up the +sport--an', in throth, harmless and dacent sport it is; but you all +know that this is Christmas night, and that it's our duty to attind the +Midnight Mass. Anybody that likes to hear it may go, for it's near time +to be home and prepare for it; but the sorra one o' me wants to take any +of yez from your sport, if you prefer it; all I say is, that I must lave +yez; so God be wid yez till we meet agin!" + +This short speech produced a general bustle in the barn; many of the +elderly neighbors left it, and several of the young persons also. It was +Christmas Eve, and the Midnight Mass had from time immemorial so strong +a hold upon their prejudices and affections, that the temptation must +indeed have been great which would have prevented them from attending +it. When old Frank went out, about one-third of those who were +present left the dance along with them; and as the hour for mass was +approaching, they lost no time in preparing for it. + +The Midnight Mass is, no doubt, a phrase familiar to our Irish readers; +but we doubt whether those in the sister kingdoms, who may honor our +book with a perusal, would, without a more particular description, +clearly understand it. + +This ceremony-was performed as a commemoration not only of the night, +but of the hour in which Christ was born. To connect it either with +edification, or the abuse of religion, would be invidious; so we +overlook that, and describe it as it existed within our own memory, +remarking, by the way, that though now generally discontinued, it is in +some parts of Ireland still observed, or has been till within in a few +years ago. + +The parish in which the scene of this story is laid was large, +consequently the attendance of the people was proportionably great. +On Christmas day a Roman Catholic priest has, or is said to have, the +privilege of saying three masses, though on every other day in the year +he can celebrate but two. Each priest, then, said one at midnight, and +two on the following day. + +Accordingly, about twenty or thirty years ago, the performance of the +Midnight Mass was looked upon as an ordinance highly important and +interesting. The preparations for it were general and fervent; so much +so, that not a Roman Catholic family slept till they heard it. It is +true it only occurred once a year; but had any person who saw it once, +been called upon to describe it, he would say that religion could +scarcely present a scene so wild and striking. + +The night in question was very dark, for the moon had long disappeared, +and as the inhabitants of the whole parish were to meet in one spot, it +may be supposed that the difficulty was very great, of traversing, in +the darkness of midnight, the space between their respective residences, +and the place appointed by the priest for the celebration of mass. The +difficulty, they contrived to surmount. From about eleven at night +till twelve or one o'clock, the parish presented a scene singularly +picturesque, and, to a person unacquainted with its causes, altogether +mysterious. Over the surface of the surrounding country were scattered +myriads of blazing torches, all converging to one point; whilst at a +distance, in the central part of the parish, which lay in a valley, +might be seen a broad focus of red light, quite stationary, with which +one or more of the torches that moved across the fields mingled every +moment. These torches were of bog-fir, dried and split for the occasion; +all persons were accordingly furnished with them, and by their blaze +contrived to make way across the country with comparative ease. This +Mass having been especially associated with festivity and enjoyment, was +always attended by such excessive numbers, that the ceremony was in +most parishes celebrated in the open air, if the weather were at all +favorable. Altogether, as we have said, the appearance of the country +at this dead hour of the night, was wild and impressive. Being Christmas +every heart was up, and every pocket replenished with money, if it could +at all be procured. This general elevation of spirits was nowhere more +remarkable than in contemplating the thousands of both sexes, old, +young, each furnished, as before said, with a blazing flambeau of +bog-fir, all streaming down the mountain sides, along the roads, or +across the fields, and settling at last into one broad sheet of fire. +Many a loud laugh might then be heard ringing the night echo into +reverberation; mirthful was the gabble in hard guttural Irish; and now +and then a song from some one whose potations had been, rather copious, +would rise on the night-breeze, to which a chorus was subjoined by a +dozen voices from the neighboring groups. + +On passing the shebeen and public-houses, I the din of mingled voices +that issued from them was highly amusing, made up, as it was, of songs, +loud talk, rioting and laughter, with an occasional sound of weeping +from some one who had become penitent in big drink. In the larger +public-houses--for in Ireland there usually are one or two of these in +the immediate vicinity of each chapel, family parties were assembled, +who set in to carouse both before and after mass. Those however, who had +any love affair on hands generally selected the shebeen house, as being +private, and less calculated to expose them to general observation. As +a matter of course, these jovial orgies frequently produced such +disastrous consequences, both to human life and female reputation, +that the intrigues between the sexes, the quarrels, and violent deaths +resulting from them, ultimately occasioned the discontinuance of a +ceremony which was only productive of evil. To this day, it is an +opinion among the peasantry in many parts of Ireland, that there is +something unfortunate connected with all drinking bouts held upon +Christmas Eve. Such a prejudice naturally arises from a recollection +of the calamities which so frequently befell many individuals while +Midnight Masses were in the habit of being generally celebrated, +although it is not attributed to their existence. + +None of Frank M'Kenna's family attended mass but himself and his wife. +His children having been bound by all the rules of courtesy to do the +honors of the dance, could not absent themselves from it; nor, indeed, +were they disposed to do so. Frank, however, and his "good woman," +carried their torches, and joined the crowds which flocked to this scene +of fun and devotion. + +When they had arrived at the cross-roads beside which the chapel was +situated, the first object that presented itself so prominently as to +attract observation was Darby More, dressed out in all his paraphernalia +of blanket and horn, in addition to which he held in his hand an immense +torch, formed into the figure of a cross. He was seated upon a stone, +surrounded by a ring of old men and women, to whom he sang and sold a +variety of Christmas Carols, many of them rare curiosities in their way, +inasmuch as they were his own composition. A littlee beyond them stood +Mike Keillaghan and Peggy Gartland, towards both of whom he cast from +time to time a glance of latent humor and triumph. He did not simply +confine himself to singing his carols, but, during the pauses of the +melody, addressed the wondering and attentive crowd as follows:-- + +"Good Christians--This is the day--howandiver, it's night now, Glory +be to God--that the angel Lucifer appeared to Shud'orth, Meeshach, an' +To-bed-we-go, in the village of Constantinople, near Jerooslem. The +heavens be praised for it, 'twas a blessed an' holy night, an' remains +so from that day to this--Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin! Well, the sarra +one of him but appeared to thim at the hour o' midnight, but they were +asleep at the time, you see, and didn't persave him go--wid that he +pulled out a horn like mine--an', by the same token, it's lucky to wear +horns about one from that day to this--an' he put it to his lips, an' +tuck a good dacent--I mane, gave a good dacent blast that soon +roused them. 'Are yez asleep?' says he, when they awoke: 'why then, +bud-an'-age!' says he, 'isn't it a burnin' shame for able stout fellows +like yez to be asleep at the hour o' midnight of all hours o' the night. +Tare-an'-age!' says he, 'get up wid yez, you dirty spalpeens! There's +St. Pathrick in Jerooslem beyant; the Pope's signin' his mittimus +to Ireland, to bless it in regard that neither corn, nor barley, nor +phaties will grow on the land in consequence of a set of varmints +called Black-dugs that ates it up; an' there's not a glass o' whiskey +to be had in Ireland for love or money,' says Lucifer. 'Get up wid yez,' +says he, 'an' go in an' get his blessin'; sure there's not a Catholic-in +the counthry, barrin' Swaddlers, but's in the town by this,' says he: +'ay, an' many of the Protestants themselves, and the Black-mouths, an' +Blue-bellies, (* Different denominations of Dissenters) are gone in to +get a share of it. And now,' says he, 'bekase you wor so heavy-headed, +I ordher it from this out, that the present night is to be obsarved in +the Catholic church all over the world, an' must be kept holy; an' no +thrue Catholic ever will miss from this pariod an opportunity of +bein' awake at midnight,' says he, 'glory be to God!' An' now, good +Christians, you have an account o' the blessed Carol I was singin' for +yez. They're but hapuns a-piece; an' anybody that has the grace to keep +one o' these about them, will never meet wid sudden deaths or +accidents, sich as hangin', or drownin', or bein' taken suddenly wid +a configuration inwardly. I wanst knew a holy man that had a +dhrame--about a friend of his, it was----Will any of yez take one?-- + +"Thank you, a colleen: my blessin', the bless-in' o' the pilgrim, be an +you! God bless you, Mike Reillaghan; an' I'm proud that he put it into +your heart to buy one for the rasons you know. An' now that Father +Hoolaghan's comin', any of yez that 'ill want them 'ill find me here +agin when mass is over--Oxis doxis glorioxis, Amin!" + +The priest at this time made his appearance, and those who had been +assembled on the cross-roads joined the crowd at the chapel. No sooner +was it bruited among them that their pastor had arrived, than the noise, +gabble, singing, and laughing were immediately hushed; the shebeen and +public-houses were left untenanted; and all flocked to the chapel-green, +where mass was to be said, as the crowd was too large to be contained +within the small chapel. + +Mike Reillaghan and Peggy Gartland were among the last who sought +the "green;" as lovers, they probably preferred walking apart, to the +inconvenience of being jostled by the multitude. As they sauntered on +slowly after the rest, Mike felt himself touched on the shoulder, and on +turning round, found Darby More beside him. + +"It's painful to my feelin's," observed the mendicant, "to have to +say this blessed night that your father's son should act so shabby an' +ondacent." + +"Saints above! how, Darby?" + +"Why, don't you know that only for me--for what I heard, an' what I +tould you--you'd not have the purty girl here at your elbow? Wasn't it, +as I said, his intintion to come and whip down the colleen to Kilnaheery +while the family 'ud be at mass; sure only for this, I say, you +bosthoon, an' that I made you bring her to mass, where 'ud the purty +colleen be? why half way to Kilnaheery, an' the girl disgraced for +ever!" + +"Thrue for you, Darby, I grant it: but what do you want me to do?" + +"Oh, for that matther, nothin' at all, Mike; only I suppose that when +your tailor made the clothes an you, he put no pockets to them?" + +"Oh, I see where you are, Darby! well, here's a crown for you; an' when +Peggy an' I's made man and wife, you'll get another." + +"Mike, achora, I see you are your father's son still; now listen to me: +first you needn't fear sudden death while you keep that blessed Carol +about you; next get your friends together goin' home, for Frank might +jist take the liberty, wid about a score of his 'boys,' to lift her +from you even thin. Do the thing, I say--don't thrust him; an' moreover, +watch in her father's house tonight wid your friends. Thirdly, make it +up wid Frank; there's an oath upon you both, you persave? Make it up +wid him, if he axes you: don't have a broken oath upon you; for if you +refuse, he'll put you out o' connection, (* That is, out of connection +with Ribbonism) an' that 'ud plase him to the back-bone." + +Mike felt the truth and shrewdness of this advice, and determined to +follow it. Both young men had been members of an illegal society, and +in yielding to their passions so far as to assault each other, had been +guilty of perjury. The following Christmas-day had been appointed by +their parish Delegates to take the quarrel into consideration; and the +best means of escaping censure was certainly to express regret for what +had occurred, and to terminate the hostility by an amicable adjustment +of their disputes. + +They had now reached the chapel-green, where the scene that presented +itself was so striking and strange, that we will give the reader an +imperfect sketch of its appearance. He who stood at midnight upon a +little mount which rose behind the chapel, might see between five and +six thousand torches, all blazing together, and forming a level mass of +red dusky light, burning against the dark horizon. These torches were +so close to each other that their light seemed to blend, as if they +had constituted one wide surface of flame; and nothing could be more +preternatural-looking than the striking and devotional countenances +of those who were assembled at their midnight worship, when observed +beneath this canopy of fire. The Mass was performed under the open sky, +upon a table covered with the sacrificial linen, and other apparatus for +the ceremony. The priest stood, robed in white, with two large torches +on each side of his book, reciting the prayers in a low, rapid voice, +his hands raised, whilst the congregation were hushed and bent forward +in the reverential silence of devotion, their faces touched by the +strong blaze of the torches into an expression of deep solemnity. The +scenery about the place was wild and striking; and the stars, scattered +thinly over the heavens, twinkled with a faint religious light, that +blended well with the solemnity of this extraordinary worship, and +rendered the rugged nature of the abrupt cliffs and precipices, together +with the still outline of the stern mountains, sufficiently visible to +add to the wildness and singularity of the ceremony. In fact, there was +an unearthly character about it; and the spectre-like appearance of the +white-robed priest as he + + "Muttered his prayer to the midnight air," + +would almost impress a man with the belief that it was a meeting of the +dead, and that the priest was repeating, like the Gray Friar, his + + "Mass of the days that were gone." + +On the ceremony being concluded, the scene, however, was instantly +changed: the lights were waved and scattered promiscuously among +each other, giving an idea of confusion and hurry that was strongly +contrasted with the death-like stillness that prevailed a few minutes +before. The gabble and laugh were again heard loud and hearty, and the +public and shebeen houses once more became crowded. Many of the young I +people made, on these occasions, what is I called "a runaway;" (* Rustic +elopement) and other peccadilloes took place, for which the delinquents +were "either read out from the altar," or sent; probably to St. +Patrick's Purgatory at Lough Derg, to do penance. Those who did not +choose to stop in the whiskey-houses now hurried home with all speed, +to take some sleep before early Mass, which was to be performed the next +morning about daybreak. The same number of lights might therefore +be seen streaming in different ways over the parish; the married men +holding the torches, and leading their wives; bachelors escorting their +sweethearts, and not unfrequently extinguishing their flambeaux, that +the dependence of the females upon their care and protection might more +lovingly call forth their gallantry. + +When Mike Reillaghan considered with due attention the hint which Darby +More had given him, touching the necessity of collecting his friends +as an escort for Peggy Gartland, he had strong reasons to admit its +justness and propriety. After Mass he spoke to about two dozen young +fellows who joined him, and under their protection Peggy now returned +safely to her father's house. + +Frank M'Kenna and his wife reached home about two o'clock; the dance +was comparatively thin, though still kept up with considerable spirit. +Having solemnized himself by the grace of so sacred a rite, Frank +thought proper to close the amusement, and recommend those whom he found +in the barn to return to their respective dwellings. + +"You have had a merry night, childher," said he; "but too much o' one +thing's good for nothin'; so don't make a toil of a pleasure, but go all +home dacently an' soberly, in the name o' God." + +This advice was accordingly followed. The youngsters separated, and +M'Kenna joined his family, "to have a sup along wid them and Barny, in +honor of what they had hard." It was upon this occasion he missed his +son Frank, whose absence from the dance he had not noticed since his +return until then. + +"Musha, where's Frank," he inquired: "I'll warrant him, away wid his +blackguards upon no good. God look down upon him! Many a black heart has +that boy left us! If it's not the will o' heaven, I fear he'll come to +no good. Barny, is he long gone from the dance?" + +"Troth, Frank, wid the noise an' dancin', an' me bem' dark," replied +Barny, shrewdly, "I can't take on me to say. For all you spake agin him, +the sorra one of him but's a clane, dacent, spirited boy, as there +is widin a great ways of him. Here's all your, healths! Faix, 'girls, +you'll all sleep sound." + +"Well," said Mrs. M'Kenna, "the knowledge of that Darby More is +unknowable! Here's a Carol I bought from him, an' if you wor but to hear +the explanations he put to it! Why Father Hoolaghan could hardly outdo +him!" + +"Divil a-man in the five parishes can dance 'Jig Polthogue' wid him, +for all that," said Barny. "Many a time Granua an' I played it for him, +an' you'd know the tune upon his feet. He undherstands a power o' ranns +and prayers, an' has charms an' holy herbs for all kinds of ailments, no +doubt." + +"These men, you see," observed Mrs. M'Kenna, in the true spirit of +credulity and superstition, "may do many things that the likes of us +oughtn't to do, by raison of their great fastin' an' prayin'." + +"Thrue for you, Alley," replied her husband: "but come, let us have a +sup more in comfort: the sleep's gone _a shraugran_ an us this night, +any way, so, Barny, give us a song, an' afther that we'll have a taste +o' prayers, to close the night." + +"But you don't think of the long journey I've before me," replied Barny: +"how-and-iver, if you promise to send some one home wid me, we'll have +the song. I wouldn't care, but the night bein' dark, you see, I'll want +somebody to guide me." + +"Faith, an' it's but rasonable, Barny, an' you must get Rody home wid +you. I suppose he's asleep in his bed by this, but we'll rouse him!" + +Barny replied by a loud triumphant laugh, for this was one of his +standing jests. + +"Well, Frank," said he, "I never thought you war so soft, and me can +pick my steps me same at night as in daylight! Sure that's the way +I done them to-night, when one o' Granua's strings broke. 'Sweets o' +psin,' says I; 'a candle--bring me a candle immediately.' An' down came +Rody in all haste wid a candle. 'Six eggs to you, Rody,' says myself, +'an' half-a-dozen o' them rotten! but you're a bright boy, to bring +a candle to a blind man!' and then he stood _a bouloare_ to the whole +house--ha, ha, ha!" + +Barny, who was not the man to rise first from the whiskey, commenced the +relation of his choicest anecdotes; old Frank and the family, being now +in a truly genial mood, entered into the spirit of his jests, so that +between chat, songs, and whiskey, the hour had now advanced to four +o'clock. The fiddler was commencing another song, when the door opened, +and Frank presented himself, nearly, but not altogether in a state +of intoxication; his face was besmeared with blood; and his whole +appearance that of a man under the influence of strong passion, such as +would seem to be produced by disappointment and defeat. + +"What!" said the father, "is it snowin', Frank? Your clothes are covered +wid snow!" + +"Lord, guard us!" exclaimed the mother, "is that blood upon your face, +Frank?" + +"It is snowin', and it is blood that's upon my face," answered Frank, +moodily--"do you want to know more news?" + +"Why, ay indeed," replied his mother, "we want to hear how you came to +be cut?" + +"You won't hear it, thin," he replied. + +The mother was silent, for she knew the terrible fits of passion to +which he was subject. + +The father groaned deeply, and exclaimed--"Frank, Frank, God help you, +an' show you the sins you're committin', an' the heart-scaldin' you're +givin' both your mother and me! What fresh skrimmage had you that you're +in that state?" + +"Spare yourself the throuble of inquirin'," he replied: "all I can say," +he continued, starting up into sudden fury--"all I can say, an' I say +it--I swear it--where's the prayer-book?" and he ran frantically to a +shelf beside the dresser on which the prayer-book lay,--"ay! by him +that made me I'll sware it--by this sacred book, while I live, Mike +Keillaghan, the husband of Peggy Gartland you'll never be, if I should +swing for it! Now you all seen I kissed the book!" as he spoke, he +tossed it back upon the shelf. + +The mirth that had prevailed in the family was immediately hushed, and a +dead silence ensued; Frank sat down, but instantly rose again, and flung +the chair from him with such violence that it was crashed to pieces; +he muttered oaths and curses, ground his teeth, and betrayed all the +symptoms of jealousy, hatred, and disappointment. + +"Frank, a bouchal," said Barny, commencing to address him in a +conciliatory tone--"Frank, man alive----" + +"Hould your tongue, I say, you blind vagabone, or by the night above us, +I'll break your fiddle over your skull, if you dar to say another word. +What I swore I'll do, an' let no one crass me." + +He was a powerful young man, and such was his temper, and so well was +it understood, that not one of the family durst venture a word of +remonstrance. + +The father arose, went to the door, and returned. "Barny," said he, +"you must content yourself where you are for this night. It's snowin' +heavily, so you had betther sleep wid Rody; I see a light in the barn, I +suppose he's after bringing in his bed an' makin' it." + +"I'll do any thing," replied the poor fiddler, now apprehensive of +violence from the outrageous temper of young Frank. + +"Well, thin," added the good man, "let us all go to bed, in the name of +God. Micaul, bring Barny to the barn, and see that he's comfortable." + +This was complied with, and the family quietly and timidly retired to +rest, leaving the violent young man storming and digesting his passion, +behind them. + +Mass on Christmas morning was then, as now, performed at day-break, and +again the Roman Catholic inhabitants of the parish were up betimes to +attend it. Frank M'Kenna's family were assembled, notwithstanding their +short sleep, at an early breakfast; but their meal, in consequence of +the unpleasant sensation produced by the outrage of their son, was less +cheerful than it would I otherwise have been. Perhaps, too, the gloom +which hung over them, was increased by the snow that had fallen the +night before, and by the wintry character of the day, which was such as +to mar much of their expected enjoyment. There was no allusion made to +their son's violence over-night; neither did he himself appear to be +in any degree affected by it. When breakfast was over, they prepared to +attend mass, and, what was unusual, young Frank was the first to set out +for the chapel. + +"Maybe," said the father, after he was gone--"maybe that fool of a boy +is sarry for his behavior. It's many a day since I knew him to go to +mass of his own accord. It's a good sign, any way." + +"Musha," inquired his mother, "what could happen atween him an' that +civil boy, Mike Reillaghan?" + +"The sorra one o' me knows," replied his father: "an' now that I think +of it, sure enough there was none o' them at the dance last night, +although I sent himself down for them. Micaul," he added, addressing the +other son, "will you put an your big coat, slip down to Reillaghan's, +an' bring me word what came atween them at all; an' tell Owen himself +the thruth that this boy's brakin' our hearts by his coorses." + +Micaul, who, although he knew the cause of the enmity between these +rivals, was ignorant of that which occasioned his brother's rash oath, +also felt anxious to ascertain the circumstances of the last quarrel. +For this purpose, as well as in obedience to his father's wishes, he +proceeded to Reillaghan's and arrived just as Darby More and young Mike +had set out for mass. + +"What," said the mendicant, "can be bringing Micaul down, I wondher? +somethin' about that slip o' grace, his brother." + +"I suppose, so," said Mike; "an' I wish the same slip was as dacent an' +inoffensive as he is. I don't know a boy livin' I'd go farther for nor +the same Micaul.--He's a credit to the family as much as the other's a +stain upon them." + +"Well, any how, you war Frank's match, an' more, last night. How bitther +he was bint on bringin' Peggy aff', when he an' his set waited till they +seen the country clear, an' thought the family asleep? Had you man for +man, Mike?" + +"Ay, about that; an' we sat so snug in Peggy's that you'd hear a pin +fallin'. A hard tug, too, there was in the beginnin'; but whin they +found that we had a strong back, they made away, an' we gave them +purshute from about the house." + +"You may thank me, any how, for havin' her to the good; but I knew by my +dhrame, wid the help o' God, that there was somethin' to happen; by the +same a token, that your mother's an' her high horse about that dhrame. +I'm to tell it to her, wid the sinse of it, in the evenin', when the +day's past, an' all of us in comfort." + +"What was it, Darby? sure you may let me hear it." + +"Maybe I will in the evenin'. It was about you an' Peggy, the darlin'. +But how will you manage in regard of brakin' the oath, an' sthrikin' a +brother?" + +"Why, that I couldn't get over it, when he sthruck me first: sure he's +worse off. I'll lave it to the Dilegates, an' whatever judgment they +give out, I'll take wid it." + +"Well," observed Darby, sarcastically, "it made him do one good turn, +any way." + +"What was that, Darby? for good turns are but scarce wid him." + +"Why, it made him hear mass to-day," replied the mendicant; "an' that's +what he hadn't the grace to do this many a year. It's away in the +mountains wid his gun he'd be, thracin', an' a fine day it is for +it--only this business prevints him. Now, Mike," observed. Darby, "as +we're comin' out upon the boreen, I'll fall back, an' do you go an; +I have part of my padareem to say, before I get to the chapel, wid a +blessin'; an' we had as good not be seen together." + +The mendicant, as he spoke, pulled out a long pair of beads, on which +he commenced his prayers, occasionally accosting an aquaintance with the +_Gho mhany Deah ghud_, (* God save you) and sometimes taking a part in +the conversation for a minute or two, after which he resumed the prayers +as before. + +The day was now brightening up, although the earlier part of the morning +had threatened severe weather. Multitudes were flocking to the chapel; +the men well secured in frieze great-coats, in addition to which, many +of them had their legs bound with straw ropes, and others with leggings +made of old hats, cut up for the purpose. The women were secured with +cloaks, the hoods of which were tied with kerchiefs of some showy color +over their bonnets or their caps, which, together with their elbows +projecting behind, for the purpose of preventing their dress from being +dabbled in the snow, gave them a marked and most picturesque appearance. + +Reillaghan and M'Kenna both reached the chapel a considerable time +before the arrival of the priest; and as a kind of Whiteboy committee +was to sit for the purpose of investigating their conduct in holding out +so dangerous an example as they did, by striking each other, contrary +to their oaths as brothers under the same system, they accordingly were +occupied each in collecting his friends, and conciliating those whom +they supposed to be hostile to them on the opposite party. It had been +previously arranged that this committee should hold a court of inquiry, +and that, provided they could not agree, the matter was to be referred +to two hedge-schoolmasters, who should act as umpires; but if it +happened that the latter could not decide it, there was no other +tribunal appointed to which a final appeal could be made. + +According to these regulations, a court was opened in a shebeen-house, +that stood somewhat distant from the road. Twelve young fellows seated +themselves on each side of a deal table, with one of the umpires at each +end of it, and a bottle of whiskey in the middle. In a higher sphere +of life it is usual to refer such questionable conduct as occurs in +duelling, to the arbitration of those who are known to be qualified by +experience in the duello. On this occasion the practice was not much +departed from, those who had been thus selected as the committee being +the notoriously pugnacious "boys" in the whole parish. + +"Now, boys," said one of the schoolmasters, "let us proceed to +operations wid proper spirit," and he filled a glass of whiskey as he +spoke. "Here's all your healths, and next, pace and unanimity to us! +Call in the culprits." + +Both were accordingly admitted, and the first speaker resumed--"Now, in +the second place, I'll read yez that part of the oath which binds us all +under the obligation of not strikin' one another--hem! hem! 'No +brother is to strike another, knowing him to be such; he's to strike +him--hem!--neither in fair nor market, at home nor abroad, neither +in public nor in private, neither on Sunday nor week-day, present or +absent, nor--'" + +"I condimn that," observed the other master--"I condimn it, as bein' too +latitudinarian in principle, an' containing a para-dogma; besides it's +bad grammar." + +"You're rather airly in the market wid your bad grammar," replied the +other: "I'll grant you the paradogma, but I'll stand up for the grammar +of it, while I'm able to stand up for anything." + +"Faith, an' if you rise to stand up for that," replied his friend, "and +doesn't choose to sit down till you prove it to be good grammar, you'll +be a standin' joke all your life." + +"I bleeve it's purty conspicuous in the parish, that I have often, in +our disputations about grammar, left you widout a leg to stand upon at +all," replied the other. + +This sally was well received, but his opponent was determined to push +home the argument at once. + +"I would be glad to know," he inquired, "by what beautiful invintion +a man could contrive to strike another in his absence? Have you good +grammar for that?" + +"And did you never hear of detraction?" replied his opponent; "that is, +a man who's in the habit of spaking falsehoods of his friends whin their +backs are turned--that is to say, whin they are absent. Now, sure, if a +man's absent whin his back's turned, mayn't any man whose back's turned +be said to be absent--ergo, to strike a man behind his back is to strike +him whin he's absent. Does that confound you? where's your logic and +grammar to meet proper ratiocination like what I'm displaying?" + +"Faith," replied the other, "you may have had logic and grammar, but +I'll take my oath it was in your younger years, for both have been +absent ever since I knew you: they turned their backs upon you, man +alive; for they didn't like, you see, to be keepin' bad company--ha, ha, +ha!" + +"Why, you poor crathur," said his antagonist, "if I'd choose to let +myself out, I could make a hare of you in no time entirely." + +"And an ass of yourself," retorted the other: "but you may save yourself +the throuble in regard of the last, for your frinds know you to be an +ass ever since they remimber you. You have them here, man alive, the +auricles," and he pointed to his ears. + +"Hut! get out wid you, you poor Jamaica-headed castigator, you; sure you +never had more nor a thimbleful o' sinse on any subject." + +"Faith, an' the thimble that measured yours was a tailor's, one widout a +bottom in it, an' good measure you got, you miserable flagellator! what +are you but a _nux vomica?_ A fit of the ague's a thrifle compared to +your asinity." + +The "boys" were delighted at this encounter, and utterly forgetful of +the pacific occasion on which they had assembled, began to pit them +against each other with great glee. + +"That's a hard hit, Misther Costigan; but you won't let it pass, any +how." + +"The ague an' you are ould acquaintances," retorted Costigan; "whenever +a skrimmage takes place, you're sure to resave a visit from it." + +"Why, I'm not such a hare as yourself," replied his rival, "nor such a +great hand at batin' the absent--ha, ha, ha!" + +"Bravo, Misther Connell--that's a leveller; come, Misther Costigan, +bedad, if you don't answer that you're bate." + +"By this and by that, man alive, if you don't mend your manners, maybe +I'd make it betther for you to be absent also. You'll only put me to the +throuble of men din' them for you." + +"Mend my manners!" exclaimed his opponent, with a bitter sneer,--"you +to mend them! out wid your budget and your hammer, then; you're the very +tinker of good manners--bekase for one dacency you'd mend, you'd spoil +twenty." + +"I'm able to hammer you at all events, or, for that matther, any one +of your illiterate gineration. Sure it's well known that you can't tach +Voshther (Voster) widout the Kay." + +"Hould there, if you plase," exclaimed one of his opponent's relations; +"don't lug in his family; that's known to be somewhat afore your own, I +bleeve. There's no Informers among them, Misther Costigan: keep at home, +masther, if you plase." + +"At home! That's more than some o' your own cleavings (* distant +relations) have been able to do," rejoined Costigan, alluding to one of +the young fellow's acquaintances who had been transported. + +"Do you mane to put an affront upon me?" said the other. + +"Since the barrhad (* cap) fits you, wear it," replied Costigan. + +"Very right, masther, make him a present of it," exclaimed one of +Costigan's distant relations; "he desarves that, an' more if he'd get +it." + +"Do I?" said the other; "an' what have you to say on the head of it, +Bartle?" + +"Why, not much," answered Bartle, "only that you ought to've left it +betune them; an' that I'll back Misther Costigan agin any rascal that +'ud say there was ever a dhrop of his blood in an Informer's veins." + +"I say it for one," replied the other. + +"And I, for another," said Connell; "an' what's worse, I'll hould a +wager, that if he was searched this minute, you'd find a Kay to Gough in +his pocket, although he throws Vosther in my teeth: the dunce never goes +widout one. Sure he's not able to set a dacent copy, or headline, or +to make a dacent hook, nor a hanger, nor a down stroke, and was a poor +scholar, too!" + +"I'll give you a down stroke in the mane time, you ignoramus," said +the pedagogue, throwing' himself to the end of the table at I which his +enemy sat, and laying him along the floor by a single blow. + +He was instantly attacked by the friend of the prostrate academician, +who was in his turn attacked by the friend of Costigan. The adherents +of the respective teachers I were immediately rushing to a general +engagement, when the door opened, and Darby More made his appearance. + +"Asy!--stop wid yees!--hould back, ye I disgraceful villains!" exclaimed +the mendicant, in a thundering voice. "Be asy, I say. Saints in glory! +is this the way you're settlin' the dispute between the two dacent young +men, that's sorry, both o' them, I'll go bail, for what they done. Sit +down, every one o' yez, or, by the blessed ordhers I wear about me, I'll +report yez to Father Hoolaghan, an' have yez read out from the althar, +or sint to Lough Derg! Sit down, I say!" + +As he spoke, he extended his huge cant between the hostile parties, and +thrust them one by one to their seats with such muscular energy, that he +had them sitting before another blow could be given. + +"Saints in glory!" he exclaimed again, "isn't this blessed doins an the +sacred day that's in it! that a poor helpless ould man like me +can't come to get somethin' to take away this misfortunit touch o' +configuration that I'm afflicted wid in cowld weather--that I can't take +a little sup of the only thing that I cures me--widout your ructions and +battles! You came here to make pace between two dacent men's childher, +an' you're as bad, if not worse, yourselves!--Oh, wurrah dheelish, +what's this! I'm in downright agony! Oh, murdher sheery! Has none o' yez +a hand to thry if there's e'er a dhrop of relief in that bottle? or am I +to die all out, in the face o' the world, for want of a sup o' somethin' +to warm me?" + +"Darby, thry the horn," said M'Kenna. + +"Here, Darby," said one of them, "dhrink this off, an' my life for +yours, it'll warm you to the marrow!" + +"Och, musha, but I wanted it badly," replied Darby, swallowing it at +once; "it's the only thing that does me good when I'm this way. _Deah +Graslhias!_ Oxis Doxis Glorioxis. Amin!" + +"I think," said M'Kenna, "that what's in the horn's far afore it." + +"Oh, thin, you thoughtless crathur, if you knew somethin' I hard about +you a while ago, you'd think otherwise. But, indeed, it's thrue for you; +I'm sure I'd be sarry to compare what's in it to anything o' the kind I +tuck. Deah Grasthias! Throth, I'm asier now a great dale nor I was." + +"Will you take another sup, Darby?" inquired the young fellow in whose +hands the bottle was now nearly empty; there's jist about another +glass." + +"Indeed, an' I 'will, avillish; an' sure you'll have my blessin' for +it, an' barrin' the priest's own, you couldn't have a more luckier +one--blessed be God for it--sure that's well known. In throth, they +never came to ill that had it, an' never did good that got my curse! +Hoop! do you hear how that rises the wind off o' my stomach! Houp!--Deah +Grasthias for that!" + +"How did you larn all the prayers an' charms you have, Darby?" inquired +the bottle-holder. + +"It would take me too long to tell you that, avillish! But, childher, +now that you're all together, make it up wid one another. Aren't you all +frinds an' brothers, sworn brothers, an' why would you be fightin' among +other? Misther Costigan, give me your hand; sure I heard a thrifle o' +what you were sayin' while I was suckin' my dudeen at the fire widout. +Come here, Misther Connell. Now, before the saints in glory, I lay my +bitter curse an him that refuses to shake hands wid his inimy. There +now--I'm proud to see it. Mike, avourneen, come here--Frank M'Kenna, +gustho (* come hither), walk over here; my bitther heart's curse upon of +yez, if you don't make up all quarrels this minit! Are you willin, Mike +lieillaghan?" + +"I have no objection in life," replied Mike, "if he'll say that Peggy +Gartland won't be put to any more throuble through his manes." + +"There's my hand, Mike," said Frank, "that I forget an' forgive all +that's past; and in regard to Peggy Gartland, why, as she's so dark agin +me, I lave her to you for good."* + +"Well! see what it is to have the good intintions!--to be makin' pace +an' friendship atween inimies! That's all I think about, an' nothin' +gives me greater pleas--Saints o' glory!--what's this!--Oh wurrah!--that +thief of a--wurrah dheelish!--that touch o' configuration's comin' back +agin!--O, thin, but it's hard to get it undher!--Oh!"-- + +"I'm sarry for it, Darby," replied he who held the now empty bottle; +"for the whiskey's out." + +"Throth, an' I'm sarry myself, for nothin' else does me good; an' Father +Hoolaghan says nothin' can keep it down, barrin' the sup o' whiskey. +It's best burnt, wid a little bit o' butther an it; but I can't get that +always, it overtakes me so suddenly, glory be to God!" + +"Well," said M'Kenna, "as Mike an' myself was the manes of bringin' us +together, why, if he joins me, we'll have another bottle." + +"Throth, an' its fair an' dacent, an' he must do it; by the same a +token, that I'll not lave the house till it's dhrunk, for there's no +thrustin' yez together, you're so hot-headed an' ready to rise the +hand," said Darby. + +M'Kenna and Mike, having been reconciled, appeared in a short time +warmer friends than ever. While the last bottle went round, those who +had before been on the point of engaging in personal conflict, now +laughed at their own foibles, and expressed the kindness and good-will +which they felt for each other at heart. + +"Now," said the mendicant, "go all of you to mass, an' as soon as you +can, to confission, for it's not good to have the broken oath an' the +sin of it over one. Confiss it, an' have your conscience light: +sure it's a happiness that you can have the guilt taken off o' yez, +childher." + +"Thrue for you, Darby," they replied; "an' we'll be thinkin' of your +advice." + +"Ay, do, childher; an' there's Father Hoolaghan comin' down the road, +so, in the name o' Goodness, we haven't a minnit to lose." + +They all left the shebeen-house as he spoke except Frank and himself, +who remained until they had gone out of hearing. + +"Darby," said he, "I want you to come up to our house in the mornin', +an' bring along wid you the things that you Stamp the crass upon the +skin wid: I'm goin' to get the crucifix put upon me. But on the paril o' +your life, don't brathe a word of it to mortual." + +"God enable you, avick! it's a good intintion. I will indeed be up wid +you--airly too, wid a blessin'. It is that, indeed--a good intintion, +sure enough." + +The parish chapel was about one hundred perches from the shebeen-house +in which the "boys" had assembled; the latter were proceeding there in a +body when Frank overtook them. + +"Mike," said he aside to Reillaghan, "we'll have time enough--walk back +a bit; I'll tell you what I'm thinkin'; you never seen in your life a +finer day for thracin; what 'ud you say if we give the boys the slip, +never heed mass, an' set off to the mountains?" + +"Won't we have time enough afther mass?" said Reillaghan. + +"Why, man, sure you did hear mass once to-day. Weren't you at it last +night? No, indeed, we won't be time enough afther it; for this bein' +Chris'mas day, we must be home at dinner-time; you know it's not lucky +to be from the family upon set days. Hang-an-ounty, come: we'll have +fine sport! I have cocksticks * enough. The best part of the day 'll be +gone if we wait for mass. Come, an' let us start." + + * A cockstick was so called from being used on Cock- + Monday, to throw at a cook tied to a stake, which was a + game common among the people It was about the length of + a common stick, but much heavier and thicker at one + end. + +"Well, well," replied Reillaghan, "the sorra hair I care; so let us +go. I'd like myself to have a rap at the hares in the Black Hills, sure +enough; but as it 'ud be remarkable for us to be seen lavin' mass, why +let us crass the field here, an' get out upon the road above the bridge." + +To this his companion assented, and they both proceeded at a brisk pace, +each apparently anxious for the sport, and resolved to exhibit such a +frank cordiality of manner as might convince the other that all their +past enmity was forgotten and forgiven. + +The direct path to the mountains lay by M'Kenna's house, where it +was necessary they should call, in order to furnish themselves with +cocksticks, and to bring dogs which young Frank kept for the purpose. +The inmates of the family were at mass, with the exception of Frank's +mother, and Rody, the servant-man, whom they found sitting on his own +bed in the barn, engaged at cards, the right hand against the left. + +"Well, Rody," said Frank, "who's winnin'?" + +"The left entirely," replied his companion: "the divil a game at all the +right's gettin', whatever's the rason of it, an' I'm always turnin' up +black. I hope none of my friends or acquaintances will die soon." + +"Throw them aside--quit of them," said Prank, "give them to me, I'll put +them past; an' do you bring us out the gun. I've the powdher an' shot +here; we may as well bring her, an' have a slap at them. One o' the +officers in the barracks of ---- keeps me in powdher an' shot, besides +givin' me an odd crown, an' I keep him in game." + +"Why, thin, boys," observed Rody, "what's the manin' o' this?--two o' +the biggest inimies in Europe last night an' this mornin' an' now as +great as two thieves! How does that come?" + +"Very asy, Rody," replied Reillaghan; "we made up the quarrel, shuck +hands, an's good frinds as ever." + +"Bedad, that bates cock-fightin'," said Body, as he went to bring in the +gun. + +In the mean time, Prank, with the cards in his hand, went to the eave +of the barn, I thrust them up under the thatch, and took out of the same +nook a flask of whiskey. + +"We'll want this," said he, putting it to his lips, and gulping down +a portion. "Come Mike, be tastin'; and aftherwards i put this in your +pocket." + +Mike followed his example, and was corking the flask when Rody returned +with the gun. + +"She's charged," said Frank; "but we'd betther put in fresh primin' for +'fraid of her hangin' fire." + +He then primed the gun, and handed it to Reillaghan. "Do you keep the +gun, Mike," he added, "an' I'll keep the cocksticks. Rody, I'll bet you +a shillin' I kill more wid! the cockstick, nor he will wid the gun, will +you take me up?" + +"I know a safer thrick," replied Rody; "you're a dead aim wid the +cockstick, sure enough, an' a deader with the gun, too; catch me at it." + +"You show some sinse, for a wondher," observed Frank, as he and his +companion left the barn, and turned towards the mountains, which rose +frowning behind the house. Rody stood looking after them until they +wound up slowly out of sight among the hills; he then shook his head two +or three times, and exclaimed, "By dad, there's somethin' in this, if +one could make out: what it is. I know Frank." + +Christmas-day passed among the peasantry, as it usually passes in +Ireland. Friends met before dinner in their own, in their neighbors', +in shebeen or in public houses, where they drank, sang, or fought, +according to their natural dispositions, or the quantity of liquor they +had taken. The festivity of the day might be known by the unusual reek +of smoke that danced from each chimney, by the number of persons who +crowded the roads, by their bran-new dresses,--for if a young man +or country girl can afford a dress at all, they provide it for +Christmas,--and by the striking appearance of those who, having drunk a +little too much, were staggering home in the purest happiness, singing, +stopping their friends, shaking hands with them, or kissing them, +without any regard to sex. Many a time might be seen two Irishmen,' who +had got drunk together, leaving a fair or market, their arms about each +other's necks, from whence they only removed them to kiss and hug one +another more lovingly. Notwithstanding this, there is nothing more +probable than that these identical two will enjoy the luxury of a mutual +battle, by way of episode, and again proceed on their way, kissing and +hugging as if nothing had happened to interrupt their friendship. All +the usual effects of jollity and violence, fun and fighting, love and +liquor, were, of course, to be seen, felt, heard, and understood on this +day, in a manner much more remarkable than on common occasions; for it +maybe observed, that the national festivals of the Irish bring-out their +strongest points of character with peculiar distinctness. + +The family of Frank M'Kenna were sitting down to their Christmas dinner; +the good man had besought a blessing upon the comfortable and abundant +fare of which they were about to partake, and nothing was amiss, save +the absence of their younger son. + +"Musha, where on earth can this boy be stayin'?" said the father: "I'm +sure this, above all days in the year, is one he oughtn't to be from home +an." + +The mother was about to inform him of the son's having gone to +the mountains, when the latter returned, breathless, pale, and +horror-struck. + +Rody eyed him keenly, and laid down the bit he was conveying to his +mouth. + +"Heavens above us!" exclaimed his mother, "what ails you?" + +He only replied by dashing his hat upon the ground, and exclaiming, "Up +wid yez!--up wid yez!--quit your dinners! Oh, Rody! what'll be done? +Go down to Owen Reillaghan's--go 'way--go down--an' tell thim--Oh, +vick-na-hoie! but this was the unfortunate day to us all? Mike +reillaghan is shot with my gun; she went off in his hand goin' over a +snow wreath, an' he's lyin' dead in the mountains?" + +The screams and the wailing which immediately rose in the family were +dreadful. Mrs. M'Kenna almost fainted; and the father, after many +struggles to maintain his firmness, burst into the bitter tears of +disconsolation and affliction. Rody was calmer, but turned his eyes +from one to another with a look of deep compassion, and again eyed Frank +keenly and suspiciously. + +Frank's eye caught his, and the glance which had surveyed him with such +a scrutiny did not escape his observation. "Rody," said he, "do you go +an' brake it to the, Reillaghans: you're the best to do it; for, when we +were settin' out, you saw that he-carried the gun, an' not me." + +"Thrue for you," said Rody; "I saw that, Frank, and can swear to it; but +that's all I did see. I know nothing of what happened in the mountains." + +"Damnho sheery orth! (* Eternal perdition on you!) What do you mane, you +villain?" exclaimed Prank, seizing the tongs, and attempting to strike +him: "do you dar to suspect that I had any hand in it." + +"Wurrah dheelish, Frank," screamed the sisters, "are you goin' to murdher +Rody?" + +"Murdher," he shouted, in a paroxysm of fury, "Why the curse o' God upon +you all, what puts murdher into your heads? Is it my own family that's +the first to charge me wid it?" + +"Why, there's no one chargin' you wid it," replied Rody; "not one, +whatever makes you take it to yourself." + +"An' what did you look at me for, thin, the way you did? What did you +look at me for, I say?" + +"Is it any wondher," replied the servant coolly, "when you had sich a +dreadful story to tell?" + +"Go off," replied Frank, now hoarse with passion--"go off! an' tell the +Reillaghans what happened; but, by all the books that ever was opened +or shut, if you breathe a word about murdher--about--if you do, you +villain, I'll be the death o' you!" + +When Rody was gone on this melancholy errand, old M'Kenna first put the +tongs, and everything he feared might be used as a weapon by his frantic +son, out of his reach; he then took down the book on which he had the +night before sworn so rash and mysterious an oath, and desired his son +to look upon it. + +"Frank," said he, solemnly, "you swore on that blessed book last night, +that Mike Reillaghan never would be the husband of Peggy Gartland--he's +a corpse to-day! Yes," he continued, "the good, the honest, the +industhrious boy is"--his sobs became so loud and thick that he appeared +almost suffocated. "Oh," said he, "may God pity us! As I hope to meet +my blessed Savior, who was born on this day, I would rather you wor the +corpse, an' not Mike Reillaghan!" + +"I don't doubt that," said the son, fiercely; "you never showed me much +grah, (* affection) sure enough." + +"Did you ever desarve it?" replied the father. "Heaven above me knows it +was too much kindness was showed you. When you ought to have been well +corrected, you got your will an' your way, an' now see the upshot." + +"Well," said the son, "it's the last day ever I'll stay in the family; +thrate me as bad as you plase. I'll take the king's bounty, an' list, if +I live to see to-morrow." + +"Oh, thin, in the name o' Goodness, do so," said the father; "an' so far +from previntin' you, we'll bless you when you're gone, for goin'." + +"Arrah, Frank, aroon," said Mrs. M'Kenna, who was now recovered, "maybe, +afther all, it was only an accident: sure we often hard of sich things. +Don't you remimber Squire Elliott's son, that shot himself by accident, +out fowlin'? Frank, can you clear yourself before us?" + +"Ah, Alley! Alley!" exclaimed the father, wiping away his tears, "don't +you remimber his oath, last night?" + +"What oath?" inquired the son, with an air of surprise--"What oath, last +night? I know I was drunk last night, but I remimber nothing about an +oath." + +"Do you deny it, you hardened boy?" + +"I do deny it; an' I'm not a hardened boy. What do you all mane? do +you want to dhrive me mad? I know nothin' about any oath last night;" +replied the son in a loud voice. The grief of the mother and daughters +was loud during the pauses of the conversation. Micaul, the eldest son, +sat beside his father in tears. + +"Frank," said he, "many an advice I gave you between ourselves, and you +know how you tuck them. When you'd stale the oats, an' the meal, and the +phaties, an' hay, at night, to have money for your cards an' dhrinkin', +I kept it back, an' said nothin' about it. I wish I hadn't done so, for +it wasn't for your good: but it was my desire to have, as much pace and +quietness as possible." + +"Frank," said the father, eyeing him solemnly, "it's possible that you +do forget the oath you made last night, for you war in liquor: I would +give the wide world that it was thrue. Can you now, in the presence +of God, clear yourself of havin' act or part in the death of Mike +Reillaghan?" + +"What 'ud ail me," said the son, "if I liked?" + +"Will you do it now for our satisfaction, an' take a load of misery +off of our hearts? It's the laste you may do, if you can do it. In the +presence of the great God, will you clear yourself now?" + +"I suppose," said the son, "I'll have to clear myself to-morrow, an' +there's no use in my doin' it more that wanst. When the time comes, I'll +do it." + +The father put his hands on his eyes, and groaned aloud: so deep was +his affliction, that the tears trickled through his fingers during this +fresh burst of sorrow. The son's refusal to satisfy them renewed the +grief of all, as well as of the father: it rose again, louder than +before, whilst young Frank sat opposite the door, silent and sullen. + +It was now dark, but the night was calm and agreeable. M'Kenna's family +felt the keen affliction which we have endeavored to describe; the +dinner was put hastily aside, and the festive spirit peculiar to this +night became changed into one of gloom and sorrow. In this state they +sat, when the voice of grief was heard loud in the distance; the strong +cry of men, broken and abrupt, mingled with the shrieking wail of female +lamentation. + +The M'Kennas started, and Frank's countenance assumed an expression +which it would be difficult to describe. There was, joined to his +extreme paleness, a restless, apprehensive, and determined look; each +trait apparently struggling for the ascendancy in his character, and +attempting' to stamp his countenance with its own expression. + +"Do you hear that?" said his father. "Oh, musha, Father of heaven, look +down an' support that family this night! Frank if you take my advice, +you'll lave their sight; for surely if they brain you on the spot, who +could blame them?" + +"Why ought I lave their sight?" replied Frank. "I tell you all that I had +no hand in his death. The gun went off by accident as he was crassin' a +wreath o' snow. I was afore him, and when I heard the report, an' turned +round, there he lay, shot an' bleedin'. I thought it mightn't signify, +but on lookin' at him closely, I found him quite dead. I then ran home, +never touchin' the gun at all, till his family and the neighbors 'ud see +him. Surely, it's no wondher I'd be distracted in my mind; but that's no +rason you should all open upon me as if I had murdhered the boy!" + +"Well," said the father, "I'm glad to hear you say even that much. I +hope it maybe betther wid you than we all think; an' oh! grant it, sweet +mother o' Heaven, this day! Now carry yourself quietly afore the people. +If they abuse you, don't fly into a passion, but make allowance for +their grief and misery." + +In the mean time, the tumult was deepening as it approached M'Kenna's +house. The report had almost instantly spread through in the village +which Reillaghan lived; and the loud cries of his father and brothers, +who, in the wildness of their despair, continually called upon his name, +had been heard at the houses which lay scattered over the neighborhood. +Their inmates, on listening to such unusual sounds, sought the direction +from which they proceeded, for it was quite evident that some terrible +calamity had befallen the Reillaghans, in consequence of the son's name +being borne on the blasts of night with such loud and overwhelming +tones of grief and anguish. The assembly, on reaching M'Kenna's, might, +therefore, be numbered at thirty, including the females of Reillaghan's +immediate family, who had been strung by the energy of despair to a +capability of bearing any fatigue, or rather to an utter insensibility +of all bodily suffering. + +We must leave the scene which ensued to the reader's imagination, merely +observing, that as neither the oath which young Frank had taken on +the preceding night, nor indeed the peculiar bitterness of his enmity +towards the deceased, was known by the Reillaghans, they did not, +therefore, discredit the account of his death which they had heard. + +Their grief was exclamatory and full of horror: consisting of prolonged +shrieks on the part of the women, and frantic howlings on that of +the men. The only words they uttered were his name, with epithets and +ejaculations. _Oh a Vichaul dheelish--a Vichaul dheelish--a bouchal +bane machree--wuil thu marra--wuil thu marra?_ "Oh, Michael, the +beloved--Michael, the beloved--fair boy of our heart--are you dead?--are +you dead?" From M'Kenna's the crowd, at the head of which was Darby +More, proceeded towards the mountains, many of them bearing torches, +such as had been used on their way to the Midnight Mass. The moon had +disappeared, the darkness was deepening, and the sky was overhung with +black heavy clouds, that gave a stormy character to scenery in itself re +wild and gloomy. + +Young M'Kenna and the pilgrim led them to the dreary waste in which the +corpse lay. It was certainly an awful spectacle to behold these unhappy +people toiling up the mountain solitude at such an hour, their convulsed +faces thrown into striking relief by the light of the torches, and their +cries rising in wild irregular cadences upon the blast which swept over +them with a dismal howl, in perfect character with their affliction, and +the circumstances which produced it. + +On arriving within view of the corpse, there was a slight pause; +for, notwithstanding the dreadful paroxysms of their grief, there was +something still more startling and terrible in contemplating the body +thus stretched out in the stillness of death, on the lonely mountain. +The impression it produced was peculiarly solemn: the grief was hushed +for a moment, but only for a moment; it rose again wilder than before, +and in a few minutes the friends of Reillaghan were about to throw +themselves upon the body, under the strong impulse of sorrow and +affection. + +The mendicant, however, stepped forward "Hould back," said he; "it's +hard to ax yez to do it, but still you must. Let the neighbors about us +here examine the body, in ordher to see whether it mightn't be possible +that the dacent boy came by his death from somebody else's hand than his +own. Hould forrid the lights," said he, "till we see how he's lyin', an' +how the gun's lyin'." + +"Darby," said young Frank, "I can't but be oblaged to you for that. +You're the last man livin' ought to say what you said, afther you seein' +us both forget an' forgive this day. I call upon you now to say whether +you didn't see him an' me shakin' hands, and buryin' all bad feelin' +between us?" + +"I'll spake to you jist now," replied the mendicant. "See here, +neighbors, obsarve this; the boy was shot in the breast, an' here's not +a snow wreath, but a weeshy dhrift that a child 'ud step acrass widout +an accident. I tell you all, that I suspect foul play in this." + +"Hell's fire," exclaimed the brother of the deceased, "what's that +you say? What! Can it be--can it--can it--that you murdhered him, you +villain, that's known to be nothin' but a villain? But I'll do for you!" +He snatched at the gun as he spoke, and would probably have taken ample +and fearful vengeance upon Frank, had not the mendicant and others +prevented him. + +"Have sinse," said Darby; "this is not the way to behave, man; lave the +gun lyin' where she is, till we see more about us. Stand back there, an' +let me look at these marks: ay, about five yards--there's the track of +feet about five yards before him--here they turn about, an' go back. +Here, Savior o' the world! see here! the mark, clane an' clear, of the +butt o' the gun! Now if that boy stretched afore us had the gun in his +hand the time she went off, could the mark of it be here? Bring me down +the gun--an' the curse o' God upon her for an unlucky thief, whoever had +her! It's thrue!--it's too thrue!" he continued--"the man that had the +gun stood on this spot." + +"It's a falsity," said Frank; "it's a damnable falsity. Rody Teague, I +call upon you to spake for me. Didn't you see, when we went out to the +hills, that it was Mike carried the gun, an' not me?" + +"I did," replied Rody. "I can swear to that." + +"Ay," exclaimed Prank, with triumph; "an' you yourself, Darby, saw us, +as I said, makin' up whatsomever little differences there was betwixt +us." + +"I did," replied the mendicant, sternly; "but I heard you say, no longer +ago than last night--say!--why you swhore it, man alive!--that if you +wouldn't have Peggy Gartland, he never should. In your own stable I +heard it, an' I was the manes of disappointin' you an' your gang, when +you thought to take away the girl by force. You're well known too often +to carry a fair face when the heart under it is black wid you." + +"All I can say is," observed young Reillaghan, "that if it comes out +agin you that you played him foul, all the earth won't save your life; +I'll have your heart's blood, if I should hang for it a thousand times." + +This dialogue was frequently interrupted by the sobbings and clamor of +the women, and the detached conversation of some of the men, who +were communicating to each other their respective opinions upon the +melancholy event which had happened. + +Darby More now brought Reillaghan's father aside, and thus addressed +him:-- + +"Gluntho! (* Listen)--to tell God's thruth, I've sthrong suspicions +that your son was murdhered. This sacred thing that I put the crass upon +people's breast wid, saves people from hangin' an' unnatural deaths. +Frank spoke to me last night, no longer ago, to come up an' mark it an' +him to-morrow. My opinion is, that he intinded to murdher him at that +time, an' wanted to have a protection agin what might happen to him in +regard o' the black deed." + +"Can we prove it agin him?" inquired the disconsolate father: "I know +it'll be hard, as there was no one present but themselves; an' if he did +it, surely he'll not confess it." + +"We may make him do it maybe," said the mendicant; "the villain's asily +frightened, an' fond o' charms an' pisthrogues,* an' sich holy things, +for all his wickedness. Don't say a word. We'll take him by, surprise; +I'll call upon him to touch the corpse. Make them women--an' och, it's +hard to expect it--make them stop clappin' their hands an' cryin'; an' +let there be a dead silence, if you can." + +During this and some other observations made by Darby, Frank had got the +gun in his possession; and, whilst seeming to be engaged in looking at +it, and examining the lock, he actually contrived to reload it without +having been observed. + +"Now, neighbors," said Darby, "hould your tongues for a weeshy start, +till I ax Frank M'Kenna a question or two. Frank M'Kenna, as you hope +to meet God, at Judgment, did you take his life that's lyin' a corpse +before us'?" + +"I did not," replied M'Kenna; "I could clear myself on all the books +in Europe, that he met his death as I tould you; an' more nor that," +he added, dropping upon his knees, and uncovering his head, "may I die +widout priest or prayer--widout help, hope, or happiness, upon the spot +where he's now stretched, if I murdhered or shot him." + +"I say amin to that," replied Darby; "Oxis Doxis Glorioxis!--So far, +that's right, if the blood of him's not an you. But there's one thing +more to be done: will you walk over undher the eye of God, an' touch the +corpse? Hould back, neighbors, an' let him come over alone: I an' Owen +Reillaghan will stand here wid the lights, to see if the corpse bleeds." + +"Give me, too, a light," said M'Kenna's father; "my son must get fair +play, anyway: must be a witness myself to it, an' will, too." + +"It's but rasonable," said Owen Reillaghan; "come over beside Darby +an' myself: I'm willin' that your son should stand or fall by what'll +happen." + +Frank's father, with a taper in his hand, immediately went, with a pale +face and trembling steps, to the place appointed for him beside the +corpse, where he took his stand. + +When young M'Kenna heard Darby's last question he seemed as if seized by +an inward spasm: the start which he gave, and his gaspings for breath, +were visible to all present. Had he seen the spirit of the murdered man +before him, his horror could not have been greater; for this ceremony +had been considered a most decisive test in cases of suspicion of +murder--an ordeal, indeed, to which few murderers wished to submit +themselves. In addition to this we may observe, that Darby's knowledge +of the young man's character was correct; with all his crimes he was +weak-minded and superstitious. + +He stood silent for some time after the ordeal had been proposed to +him; his hair became literally erect, with the dread of this formidable +scrutiny, his cheeks turned white, and the cold perspiration fell from +him in large drops. All his strength appeared to have departed from him; +he stood, as if hesitating, and even energy necessary to stand seemed to +be the result of an effort. + +"Remember," said Darby, pulling out the large crucifix which was +attached to his heads, "that the eye of God is upon you. If you've +committed the murdher, thrimble; if not, Frank, you've little to fear in +touchin' the corpse." + +Frank had not uttered a word; but, leaning himself on the gun, he looked +wildly around him, cast his eyes up to the stormy sky, then turned them +with a dead glare upon the corpse and the crucifix. + +"Do you confiss the murdher?" said Darby. + +"Murdher!" rejoined Frank: "no! I confess no murdher: you villain, do +you want to make me guilty;--do you want to make me guilty, you deep +villain?" + +It seemed as if the current of his thoughts and feelings had taken a new +direction, though it is probable that the excitement which appeared to +be rising within him was only the courage of fear. + +"You all wish to find me guilty," he added: "but I'll show you that I'm +not guilty." + +He immediately walked towards the corpse, and stooping down, touched the +body with one hand, holding the gun in the other. The interest of that +moment was intense, and all eyes were strained towards the spot. +Behind the corpse, at each shoulder--for the body lay against a small +snow-wreath, in a recumbent position--stood the father of the deceased +and the father of the accused, each wound up by feelings of a directly +opposite character to a pitch of dreadful excitement over them, in his +fantastic dress and white beard, stood the tall mendicant, who held up +his crucifix to Frank, with an awful menace upon his strongly marked +countenance. At a little distance to the left of the body stood other +men who were assembled, having their torches held aloft in their +hands, and their forms bent towards the corpse, their laces indicating +expectation, dread, and horror The female relations of the deceased +nearest his remains, their torches extended in the same direction, their +visages exhibiting the passions of despair and grief in their wildest +characters, but as if arrested by some supernatural object immediately +before their eyes, that produced a new and more awful feeling than +grief. When the body was touched, Frank stood as if himself bound by a +spell to the spot. At length he turned his eyes to the mendicant, who +stood silent and motionless, with the crucifix still extended in his +hand. + +"Are you satisfied now?" said he. + +"That's wanst," said the pilgrim: "you're to touch it three times." + +Frank hesitated a moment, but immediately stooped again, and touched it +twice in succession; but it remained still and unchanged as before! His +father broke the silence by a fervent ejaculation of thanksgiving to God +for the vindication of his son's character which he had just witnessed. + +"Now!" exclaimed M'Kenna, in a loud, exulting tone, "you all see that I +did not murdher him!" + +"You did!" said a voice, which was immediately recognized to be that of +the deceased. + +M'Kenna shrieked aloud, and immediately fled with his gun towards +the mountains, pursued by Reillaghan's other son. The crowd rushed +in towards the body, whilst sorrow, affright, exultation, and wonder, +marked the extraordinary scene which ensued. + +"Queen o' Heaven!" exclaimed old M'Kenna, "who could believe this only +they hard it?" + +"The murdher wouldn't lie?" shrieked out Mrs. Reillaghan--"the murdher +wouldn't lie!--the blood o' my darlin' son spoke it!--his blood spoke +it; or God, or his angel, spoke it for him!" + +"It's beyant anything ever known!" some exclaimed, "to come back an' +tell the deed upon his murdherer! God presarve us, an' save us, this +night! I wish we wor at home out o' this wild place!" + +Others said they had heard of such things; but this having happened +before their own eyes, surpassed anything that could be conceived. + +The mendicant now advanced, and once more mysteriously held up his +crucifix. + +"Keep silence!" said he, in a solemn, sonorous voice: "Keep silence, +I say, an' kneel I down all o' yez before what I've in my hand. If you +want to know who or what the voice came from, I can tell yez:--it was +the crucifix THAT SPOKE!!" + +This communication was received with a feeling of devotion too deep for +words. His injunction was instantly complied with: they knelt, and bent +down in worship before it in the mountain wilds. + +"Ay," said he, "little ye know the virtues of that crucifix! It was +consecrated by a friar so holy that it was well known there was but the +shadow of him upon the earth, the other part of him bein' night an' day +in heaven among the archangels. It shows the power of this Crass, any +way; an you may tell your frinds, that I'll sell bades touched wid it +to the faithful at sixpence apiece. They can be put an your padareens as +Dicades, wid a blessin'. Oxis Doxis Glorioxis--Amin! Let us now bear +the corpse home, antil it's dressed and laid out dacently as it ought to +be." + +The body was then placed upon an easy litter, formed of great-coats +buttoned together, and supported by the strongest men present, who held +it one or two at each corner. In this manner they advanced at a slow +pace, until they reached Owen Reillaghan's house, where they found +several of the country-people assembled, waiting for their return. + +It was not until the body had been placed in an inner room, where none +were admitted until it should be laid out, that the members of the +family first noticed the prolonged absence of Reillaghan's other son. +The moment it had been alluded to, they were seized with new alarm and +consternation. + +"_Hanim an diouol!_" said Reillaghan, bitterly, in Irish, "but I doubt +the red-handed villain has cut short the lives of my two brave sons! +I only hope he may stop in the country: I'm not widout friends an' +followers that 'ud think it no sin in a just cause to pay him in his own +coin, an' to take from him an' his a pound o' blood for every ounce of +ours they shed." + +A number of his friends instantly volunteered to retrace their way to +the mountains, and search for the other son. "There's little danger +of his life," said a relation; "it's a short time Frank 'ud stand him +particularly as the gun wasn't charged. We'll go, at any rate, for +'fraid he might lose himself in the mountains, or walk into some o' the +lochs on his way home. We had as good bring some whiskey wid us, for he +may want it badly." + +While they had been speaking, however, the snow began to fall and the +wind to blow in a manner that promised a heavy and violent storm. They +proceeded, notwithstanding, on their search, and on whistling for the +dog, discovered that he was not to be found. + +"He went wid us to the mountains, I know," said the former speaker; "an' +I think it likely he'll be found wid Owen, wherever he is. Come, boys, +step out: it's a dismal night, any way, the Lord knows. + +"Och, och!" And with sorrowful but vigorous steps they went in quest of +the missing brother. + +Nothing but the preternatural character of the words which Were so +mysteriously pronounced immediately before Owen's pursuit of M'Kenna, +could have prevented that circumstance, together with the flight of the +latter, from exciting greater attention among the crowd. His absence, +however, now that they had time to reflect on it, produced unusual +alarm, not only on account of M'Kenna's bad character, but from the +apprehension of Owen being lost in the mountains. + +The inextinguishable determination of revenge with which an Irishman +pursues any person who, either directly or indirectly, takes the life +of a near relation, or invades the peace of his domestic affections, +was strongly illustrated by the nature of Owen's pursuit after M'Kenna, +considering the appalling circumstances under which he undertook it. It +is certainly more than probable that M'Kenna, instead of flying would +have defended himself with the loaded gun, had not his superstitious +fears been excited by the words which so mysteriously charged him with +the murder. The direction he accidentally took led both himself and his +pursuer into the wildest recesses of the mountains. The chase was close +and desperate, and certainly might have been fatal to Reillaghan, had +M'Kenna thought of using the gun. His terror, however, exhausted him, +and overcame his presence of mind to such a degree, that so far from +using the weapon in his defence, he threw it aside, in order to gain +ground upon his pursuer. This he did but slowly, and the pursuit was as +yet uncertain. At length Owen found the distance between himself and his +brother's murderer increasing; the night was dark, and he himself feeble +and breathless: he therefore gave over all hope of securing him, and +returned to follow those who had accompanied him to the spot where his +brother's body lay. It was when retracing his path that the nature of +his situation occurred to him: the snow had not began to fall, but the +appearance of the sky was strongly calculated to depress him. + +Every person knows with what remarkable suddenness snow storms descend. +He had scarcely advanced homewards more than twenty minutes, when the +gray tempest spread its dusky wings over the heavens, and a darker shade +rapidly settled upon the white hills--now becoming indistinct in the +gloom of the air, which was all in commotion, and groaned aloud with the +noise of the advancing storm. When he saw the deep gloom, and felt the +chilling coldness pierce his flesh so bitterly, he turned himself in the +direction which led by the shortest possible line towards his father's +house. He was at this time nearly three miles from any human habitation; +and as he looked into the darkness, his heart began to palpitate with an +alarm almost bordering on hopelessness. His dog, which had, up till +this boding' change, gone on before him, now partook in his master's +apprehensions, and trotted anxiously at his feet. + +In the meantime the winds howled in a melancholy manner along the +mountains, and carried with them from the upper clouds the rapidly +descending sleet. The storm-current, too, was against him, and as the +air began to work in dark confusion, he felt for the first time how +utterly helpless a thing he was under the fierce tempest in this +dreadful solitude. + +A length the rushing sound which he first heard in the distance +approached him in all its terrors; and in a short time he was +staggering, like a drunken man, under the incessant drifts which +swept over him and about him. Nothing could exceed the horrors of the +atmosphere at this moment. From the surface of the earth the whirlwinds +swept immense snow-clouds that rose up instantaneously, and shot off +along the brows and ravines of the solitary wild, sometimes descending +into the valleys, and again rushing up the almost perpendicular sides +of the mountains, with a speed, strength, and noise, that mocked +at everything possessing life; whilst in the air the tumult and the +darkness continued to deepen in the most awful manner. The winds seemed +to meet from every point of the compass, and the falling drifts flew +backward and forward in every direction; the cold became intense, and +Owen's efforts to advance homewards were beginning to fail. He was +driven about like an autumn leaf, and his dog, which kept close to him, +had nearly equal difficulty in proceeding. No sound but that of the +tempest could now be heard, except the screaming of the birds as they +were tossed on sidewing through the commotion which prevailed. In this +manner was Owen whirled about, till he lost all knowledge of his local +situation, being ignorant whether he advanced towards home or otherwise, +His mouth and eyes were almost filled with driving sleet; sometimes a' +cloud of light sandlike drift would almost bury him, as it crossed, or +followed, or opposed his path; sometimes he would sink to the middle in +a snow-wreath, from which he extricated himself with great difficulty; +and among the many terrors by which he was beset, that of walking into +a lake, or over a precipice, was not the least paralyzing. Owen was a +young man of great personal strength and activity, for the possession +of which, next to his brother, he had been distinguished among his +companions; but he now became totally exhausted; the chase after +M'Kenna, his former exertion, his struggles, his repeated falls, his +powerful attempts to get into the vicinity of life, the desperate +strength he put forth in breaking through the vortex of the whirlwind, +all had left him faint, and completely at the mercy of the elements. + +The cold sleet scales were now frozen to ice on his cheeks; his clothes +were completely incrusted with the hard snow, which had been beating +into them by the strength of the blast, and his joints were getting +stiff and benumbed. The tumult of the tempest, the whirling of the +snow-clouds, and the thick snow, now falling, and again tossed upwards +by sudden gusts to the sky, deprived him of all power of reflection, +and rendered him, though not altogether blind or deaf, yet incapable of +forming any distinct opinion upon what he saw or heard. Still, actuated +by the unconscious principle of self preservation, he tottered on, cold, +feeble, and breathless, now driven back like a reed by the strong rush +of the storm, or prostrated almost to suffocation under the whirlwinds, +that started up like savage creatures of life about him. + +During all this time his faithful dog never abandoned him; but his wild +bowlings only heightened the horrors of his situation. When he fell, the +affectionate creature would catch the flap of his coat, or his arm, +in his teeth, and attempt to raise him; and as long as his master had +presence of mind, with the unerring certainty of instinct, he would turn +him, when taking a wrong direction, into that which led homewards. + +Owen was not, however, reduced to this state without experiencing +sensations of which no language could convey adequate notions. At first +he struggled heroically with the storm; but when utter darkness threw +its impervious shades over the desolation around him, and the fury of +the elements grew so tremendous, all the strong propensities to life +became roused, the convulsive throes of a young heart on the steep of +death threw a wild and corresponding energy into his vigorous frame, +and occasioned him to cling to existence with a tenacity rendered still +stronger by the terrible consciousness of his unprepared state, and the +horror of being plunged into eternity unsupported by the rites of his +church, whilst the crime of attempting to take away human life lay +on his soul. Those domestic affections, too, which in Irishmen are +so strong, became excited; his home, his fireside, the faces of his +kindred, already impressed with affliction for the death of one brother, +were conjured up in the powerful imagery of natural feeling, the +fountains of which were opened in his heart, and his agonizing cry for +life rose wildly from the mountain desert upon the voice of the tempest. +Then, indeed, when the gulf of a twofold death yawned before him, +did the struggling spirit send up its shrieking prayer to heaven with +desperate impulse. These struggles, however, as well as those of the +body, became gradually weaker as the storm tossed him about, and with +the chill of its breath withered him into total helplessness. He reeled +on, stiff and insensible, without knowing whither he went, falling with +every blast, and possessing scarcely any faculty of life except mere +animation. + +After about an hour, however, the storm subsided, and the clouds broke +away into light, fleecy columns before the wind; the air, too, became +less cold, and the face of nature more visible. The driving sleet and +hard, granular snow now ceased to fall; but were succeeded by large +feathery flakes, that descended slowly upon the still air. + +Had this trying scene lasted much longer, Owen must soon have been a +stiffened corpse. The child-like strength, however, which just enabled +him to bear up without sinking in despair to die, now supported him +when there was less demand for energy. The dog, too, by rubbing itself +against him, and licking his face, enabled him, by a last effort, +to recollect himself, so as to have a glimmering perception of his +situation. His confidence returned, and with a greater degree of +strength. He shook, as well as he could, the snow from his 'clothes, +where it had accumulated heavily, and felt himself able to proceed, +slowly, it is true, towards his father's house, which he had nearly +reached when he met his friends, who were once: more hurrying out to +the mountains in quest of him, having been compelled to return in +consequence of the storm, when they had I first set out. The whiskey, +their companionship, and their assistance soon revived him. One or two +were despatched home before them, to apprise the afflicted family of +his safety; and the intelligence was hailed with melancholy joy by the +Reillaghans. A faint light played for a moment over the gloom Which had +settled among them, but it was brief; for on ascertaining the safety +of their second son, their grief rushed back with renewed violence, and +nothing could be heard but the voice of sorrow and affliction. + +Darby More, who had assumed the control of the family, did everything +in his power to console them; his efforts, however, were viewed with a +feeling little short of indignation. + +"Darby," said the afflicted mother, "you have, undher God, in some +sense, my fair son's death to account for. You had a dhrame, but you +wouldn't tell it to us. If you had, my boy might be livin' this day, for +it would be asy for him to be an his guard." + +"Musha, poor woman," replied Darby, "sure you don't know, you afflicted +crathur, what you're spakin' about. Tell my dhrame! Why, thin, it's +myself towld it to him from beginning to ind, and that whin we wor goin' +to mass this day itself. I desired him, on the paril of his life, not to +go out a tracin' or toards the mountains, good or bad." + +"You said you had a prayer that 'ud keep it back," observed the mother, +"an' why didn't you say it?" + +"I did say it," replied Darby, "an' that afore a bit crassed my throath +this mornin'; but, you see, he broke his promise of not goin' to the +mountains, an' that was what made the dhrame come thrue." + +"Well, well, Darby, I beg your pardon, an' God's pardon, for judgin' you +in the wrong. Oh, wurrah sthrue! my brave son, is it there you're lyin' +wid us, avourneen machree!" and she again renewed her grief. + +"Oh, thin, I'm sure I forgive you," said Darby: "but keep your grief in +for a start, till I say the _De Prowhinjis_ over him, for the pace an' +repose of his sowl. Kneel down all of yez." + +He repeated this prayer in language which it would require one of Edward +Irving's adepts in the Unknown Tongues to interpret. When he had recited +about half of it, Owen, and those who had gone to seek him, entered the +house, and after the example of the others, reverently knelt down until +he finished it. + +Owen's appearance once more renewed their grief. The body of his brother +had been removed to a bed beyond the fire in the kitchen; and when Owen +looked upon the features of his beloved companion, he approached, and +stooped down to kiss his lips. He was still too feeble, however, to bend +by his own strength; and it is also probable that the warm air of the +house relaxed him. Be this, however, as it may, he fell forward, but +supported himself by his hands, which were placed upon the body; a deep +groan was heard, and the apparently dead man opened his eyes, and feebly +exclaimed--"A dhrink? a dhrink!" + +Darby More, had, on concluding the _De profundus_, seated himself beside +the bed on which Mike lay; but on hearing the groan, and the call for +drink, he leaped rapidly to: his legs and exclaimed, "My sowl to hell +an' the divil, Owen Reillaghan, but your son's alive!! Off wid two or +three of yez, as the divil can dhrive yez, for the priest an' docthor!! +Off wid yez! ye damned spalpeens, aren't ye near there by this! Give +us my cant! Are yez gone? Oh, by this and by that--hell--eh--aren't +yez--" But ere he could finish the sentence, they had set chit. + +"Now," he exclaimed in a voice whose tremendous tones were strongly +at variance with his own injunctions--"Now, neighbors, d--n yez, keep +silence. Mrs. Reillaghan, get a bottle of whiskey an' a mug o' wather. +Make haste. Hanim an diouol! don't be all night!" + +The poor mother, however, could not stir; the unexpected revulsion of +feeling which she had so suddenly experienced was more than she could +sustain. A long fainting-fit! was the consequence, and Darby's commands +were obeyed by the wife of a friendly neighbor. + +The mendicant immediately wetted Mike's lips, and poured some spirits, +copiously diluted with water, down his throat; after which he held the +whiskey-bottle, like a connoisseur, between himself and the light. "I +hope," said he, "this whiskey is the raal crathur." He put the bottle to +his mouth as he spoke, and on holding it a second time before his eye, +he shook his head complacently--"Ay," said he, "if anything could bring +the dead back to this world, my sowl to glory, but that would. Oh, thin, +it would give the dead life, sure enough!" He put it once more to +his lips, from which it was not separated without relinquishing a +considerable portion of its contents. + +"Dhea Grashthias!" he exclaimed; "throth, I find myself, the betther o' +that sup, in regard that it's good for this touch 'o' configuration that +I'm throubled wid inwardly! Doxis Doxis Glorioxis? Amin!" These words he +spoke in a low, placid voice, lest the wounded man might be discomposed +by his observations. + +The rapidity with which the account of Mike's restoration to life spread +among the neighbors was surprising. Those who had gone for the priest +and doctor communicated to all they met, and these again to others: +that in a short time the house was surrounded by great numbers of their +acquaintances, all anxious to hear the particulars more minutely. + +Darby, who never omitted an opportunity of impressing the people with a +belief in his own sanctity, and in that of his crucifix came out among +them, and answered their inquiries by a solemn shake of his head, and +a mysterious indication of his finger to the crucifix, but said nothing +more. This was enough. The murmur of reverence and wonder spread among +them, and ere long there were few present who did not believe that +Reillaghan had been restored to life by a touch of Darby's crucifix; an +opinion which is not wholly exploded until this day. + +Peggy Gartland, who fortunately had not heard the report of her lover's +death until it was contradicted by the account of his revival, now +entered, and by her pale countenance betrayed strong symptoms of +affection and sympathy. She sat by his side, gazing mournfully on his +features, and with difficulty suppressed her tears. + +For some time before her arrival, the mother and sisters of Mike had +been removed to another room, lest the tumultuous expression of their +mingled joy and sorrow might disturb him. The fair, artless girl, +although satisfied that he still lived, entertained no hopes of his +recovery; but she ventured, in a low, trembling voice, to inquire from +Darby some particulars of the melancholy transaction which was likely to +deprive her of her betrothed husband. + +"Where did the shot sthrike him, Darby?" + +"Clane through the body, avillish; jist where Captain Cramer was shot +at the battle o' Bunker's Hill, where he lay as good as dead for twelve +hours, and was near bein' berried a corp, an' him alive all the time, +only that as they were pullin' him off o' the cart, he gev a shout, an' +thin, a colleen dhas, they began to think he might be livin' still. Sure +enough, he was, too, an' lived successfully, till he died wid dhrinkin' +brandy, as a cure for the gout; the Lord be praised!" + +"Where's the villain, Darby?" + +"He's in the mountains, no doubt, where he had thim to fight wid that's +a match for him--God, an' the dark storm that fell awhile agone. They'll +pay him, never fear, for his thrachery to the noble boy that chastised +him for your sake, acushla oge! (* my young pulse) sthrong was your +hand, a Veehal, an' ginerous was your affectionate heart; an' well you +loved the fair girl that's sitting beside you! Throth, Peggy, my heart's +black with sarrow about the darlin' young man. Still, life's in him; an' +while there's life there's hope; glory be to God!" + +The eulogium of the pilgrim, who was, in truth, much attached to Mike, +moved the heart of the affectionate girl, whose love and sympathy were +pure as the dew on the grass-blade, and now as easily affected by the +slightest touch. She remained silent for a time, but secretly glided +her hand towards that of her lover, which she clasped in hers, and by a +gentle and timid pressure, strove to intimate to him that she was beside +him. Long, but unavailing, was the struggle to repress her sorrow; her +bosom heaved; she gave two or three loud sobs, and burst into tears and +lamentations. + +"Don't cry, avourneen," whispered Darby--"Don't cry; I'll warrant you +that Darby More will ate share of your weddin' dinner an' his, yit. +There's a small taste of color comin' to his face, which, I think, +undher God, is owin' to my touchin' him wid the cruciwhix. Don't cry, a +colleen, he'll get over it an' more than it, yit, a colleen bawn!" + +Darby then hurried her into the room where Mike's mother and sisters +were. On entering she threw herself into the arms of the former, laid +her face on her bosom, and wept bitterly. This renewed the mother's +grief: she clasped the interesting girl in a sorrowful embrace; so did +his sisters. They threw themselves into each other's arms, and poured +forth those touching, but wild bursts of pathetic language, which are +always heard when the heart is struck by some desolating calamity. + +"Husht!" said a neighboring man who was present; "husht! it's a shame +for yez, an' the boy not dead yit." + +"I'm not ashamed," said Peggy: "why should I be ashamed of bein' sarry +for the likes of Mike Reillaghan? Where was his aquil? Wasn't all hearts +upon him? Didn't the very poor on the road bless him whin he passed? +Who ever had a bad word agin him, but the villain that murdhered him? +Murdhered him! Heaven above! an' why? For my sake! For my sake the pride +of the parish is laid low! Ashamed! Is it for cryin' for my betrothed +husband, that was sworn to me, an' I to him, before the eye of God +above us? This day week I was to be his bride; an' now--now--Oh, Vread +Reillaghan, take me to you! Let me go to his mother! My heart's broke, +Vread Reillaghan! Let me go to her: nobody's grief for him is like ours. +You're his mother, an' I'm his wife in the sight o' God. Proud was I out +of him: my eyes brightened when they seen him, an' my heart got light +when I heard his voice; an' now, what's afore me?--what's afore me but +sorrowful days an' a broken heart!" + +Mrs. Reillaghan placed her tenderly and affectionately beside her, on +the bed whereon she herself sat. With the corner of her handkerchief she +wiped the tears from the weeping girl, although her own flowed fast. +Her daughters, also, gathered about her, and in language of the most +endearing kind, endeavored to soothe and console her. + +"He may live yet, Peggy, avourheen," said his mother; "my brave and +noble son may live yet, an' you may be both,happy! Don't be cryin' so +much, _asthore galh machree_ (* The beloved white (girl) of my heart); +sure he's in the hands o' God avourneen; an' your young heart won't +be broke, I hope. Och, the Lord pity her young feelins!" exclaimed +the mother affected even by the consolation she herself offered to the +betrothed bride of her son: "is it any whundher she'd sink undher sich a +blow! for, sure enough, where was the likes of him? No, asthore; it's no +wondher--it's no wondher! lonesome will your heart be widout him; for I +know what he'd feel if a hair of your head was injured." + + + +"Oh, I know it--I know it! There was music in his voice, an' grah and. +kindness to every crathur on God's earth; but to me--to me--oh, no +one knew his love to me, but myself an' God. Oh, if I was dead, that +I couldn't feel this, or if my life could save his! Why didn't the +villain,--the black villain, wid God's curse upon him--why didn't he +shoot me, thin I could never be Mike's wife, an' his hand o' murdher +might be satisfied? If he had, I wouldn't feel as I do. Ay! the warmest, +an' the best, an' the dearest blood of my heart, I could shed for +him. That heart was his, an' he had a right to it. Our love wasn't of +yistherday: afore the links of my hair came to my showldhers I loved +him, an' thought of him; an many a time he tould me that I was his +first! God knows he was my first, an' he will be my last, let him live +or die." + +"Well, but, Peggy achora," said his sister, "maybe it's sinful to be +cryin' this way, an' he not dead." + +"God forgive me, if it's a sin," replied Peggy; "I'd not wish to do +anything sinful or displasin' to God; an' I'll sthrive to keep down my +grief: I will, as well as I can." + +She put her hands on her face, and by all effort of firmness, subdued +the tone of her grief to a low, continuous murmur of sorrow. + +"An' along wid that," said the sister, "maybe the noise is disturbin' +him. Darby put us all out o' the kitchen to have pace an' quietness +about him." + +"An' 'twas well thought o' Darby," she replied; "an' may the blessin' o' +God rest upon him for it! A male's mate or a nights lodgin' he'll never +want under my father's roof for that goodness to him. I'll be quiet." + +There was now a short pause, during which those in the room heard a +smack, accompanied by the words, "Dheah. Grashthias! throth I'm +the betther o' that sup, so I am. Nothin' keeps this thief of a +configuration down but it. Dheah Grashthias for that! Oh, thin, this is +the stuff! It warms the body to the top o' the nails!" + +"Don't spare it, Darby," said old Reillaghan, "if it does you good." + +"Avourneen," said Darby, "it's only what gives me a little relief I ever +take, jist by way of cure, for it's the only thing does me good, when I +am this-a-way." + +Several persons in the neighborhood were, in the mean time, flocking to +Reillaghan's house. A worthy man, accompanied by his wife, entered as +the pilgrim had concluded. The woman, in accordance with the custom of +the country, raised the Irish cry, in a loud melancholy wail, that might +be heard at a great distance. + +Darby, who prided himself on maintaining silence, could not preserve the +consistency of his character upon this occasion, any more than on that +of Mike's recent symptoms of life. + +"Your sowl to the divil, you faggot!" he exclaimed, "what do you mane? +The divil whip the tongue out o' you! are you going to come here only +to disturb the boy that's not dead yet? Get out o' this, an' be asy wid +your skhreechin', or by the crass that died for us, only you're a woman, +I'd tumble you wid a lick o' my cant. Keep asy, you vagrant, an' the +dacent boy not dead yet. Hell bellows you, what do you mane?" + +"Not dead!" exclaimed the woman, with her body bent in the proper +attitude, her hands extended, and the crying face turned with amazement +to Darby. "Not dead! Wurrah, man alive, isn't he murdhered?" + +"Hell resave the matther for that!" replied Darby. "I tell you he's +livin' an' will live I hope, barrin' your skirlin' dhrives the life +that's in him out of him. Go into the room there to the women, an' +make yourself scarce out o' this, or by the padareens about me, I'll +malivogue you." + +"We can't be angry wid the dacent woman," observed old Reillaghan, "in +regard that she came to show her friendship and respect." + +"I'd be angry wid St. Pettier," said Darby, "an' 'ud not scruple to give +him a lick o' my c---- Lord presarve us! what was I goin' o say! Why, +throth, I believe the little wits I had are all gone a shaughran! I +must fast a Friday or two for the same words agin St. Pether. Oxis Doxis +Glorioxis--Amin." + +Hope is strong in love and in life. Peggy, now that grief had eased her +heart of its load of accumulated sorrow, began to reflect upon Darby's +anecdote of Captain Cramer, which she related to those about her. They +all rejoiced to hear that it was possible to be wounded so severely and +live. They also consoled and supported each other, and expressed their +trust that Mike might also recover. The opinion of the doctor was waited +for with such anxiety as a felon feels when the foreman of the jury +hands down the verdict which consigns him to life or death. + +Whether Darby's prescription was the result of chance or sagacity we +know not. We are bound, however, to declare that Reillaghan's strength +was in some degree restored, although the pain he suffered amounted to +torture. The surgeon (who was also a physician, and, moreover, supplied +his own medicines) and the priest, as they lived in the same town, both +arrived together. The latter administered the rites of his church to +him; and the former, who was a skilful man, left nothing undone to +accomplish his restoration to health. He had been shot through the body +with a bullet--a circumstance which was not known until the arrival of +the surgeon. This gentlemen expressed much astonishment at his surviving +the wound, but said that circumstances of a similar nature had occurred, +particularly on the field of battle, although he admitted that they were +few. + +Darby, however, who resolved to have something like a decided opinion +from him, without at all considering whether such a thing was possible, +pressed him strongly upon the point. + +"Arrah, blur-an-age, Docthor Swither, say one thing or other. Is he to +live or die? Plain talk, Docthor, is all we want, an' no _feasthalagh_ +(* nonsense)." + +"The bullet, I am inclined to think," replied the Doctor, "must either +not have touched a vital part, or touched it only slightly. I have known +cases similar, it is true; but it is impossible for me to pronounce a +decisive opinion upon him just now." + +"The divil resave the _yarrib_* ever I'll gather for you agin, so long +as my name's Darby More, except you say either 'life' or 'death,'" said +Darby, who forgot his character of sanctity altogether. + + * Herb-Men of Darby's cast were often in the habit of + collecting rare medicinal plants for the apothecaries; + and not bad botanists some of them were. + +"Darby, achora," said Mrs. Reillaghan, "don't crass the gintleman, an' +him sthrivin' to do his best. Here, Paddy Gormly, bring some wather till +the docthor washes his hands." + +"Darby," replied the Doctor, to whom he was well known, "you are a good +herbalist, but even although you should not serve me as usual in that +capacity, yet I cannot say exactly either life or death. The case is too +critical a one; but I do not despair, Darby, if that will satisfy you." + +"More power to you, Docthor, achora. Hell-an-age, where's that bottle? +bring it here. Thank you, Vread. Docthor, here's wishin' you +all happiness, an' may you set Mike on his legs wanst more! See, +Docthor--see, man alive--look at this purty girl here, wid her wet +cheeks; give her some hope, ahagur, if you can; keep the crathur's +spirits up, an' I'll furnish you wid every yarrib in Europe, from the +nettle to the rose." + +"Don't despair, my good girl," said the Doctor, addressing Peggy. "I +hope, I trust, that he may recover; but he must be kept easy and quiet." + +"May the blessing of God, sir, light down on you for the same words," +replied Peggy, in a voice tremulous, with gratitude and joy. + +"Are you done wid him, Docthor?" said old Reillaghan. + +"At present," replied the Doctor, "I can do nothing more for him; but I +shall see him early to-morrow morning." + +"Bekase, sir," continued the worthy man, "here's Darby More, who's +afflicted with a comflamboration, or some sich thing, inwardly, an' if +you should ase him, sir, I'd pay the damages, whatever they might be." + +The Doctor smiled slightly. "Darby's complaint," said he, "is beyond +my practice; there is but one cure for it, and that is, if I have +any skill, a little of what's in the bottle here, taken, as our +prescriptions sometimes say, 'when the patient is inclined for it.'" + +"By my sou--sanctity, Docthor," said Darby, "you're a man of skill, any +how, an' that's well known, sir. Nothin', as Father Hoolaghan says, but +the sup of whiskey does this sarra of a configuration good. It rises the +wind off o' my stomach, Docthor!" + +"It does, Darby, it does. Now let all be peace and quietness," continued +the Doctor: "take away a great part of this fire, and don't attempt +to remove him to any other bed until I desire you. I shall call again +tomorrow morning early." + +The Doctor's attention to his patient was unremitting; everything that +human skill, joined to long experience and natural talent, could do to +restore the young man to his family was done; and in the course of a +few weeks the friends of Keillaghan had the satisfaction of seeing him +completely out of danger. + +Mike declared, after his recovery, that though incapable of motion on +the mountains, he was not altogether insensible to what passed around +him. The loud tones of their conversation he could hear. The oath which +young M'Kenna uttered in a voice so wild and exalted, fell clearly on +his ear, and he endeavored to contradict it, in order that he might be +secured and punished in the event of his death. He also said; that the +pain he suffered in the act of being conveyed home, occasioned him to +groan feebly; but that the sobs, and cries, and loud conversation of +those who surrounded him, prevented his moans from being heard. It is +probable, after all, that were it not for the accidental fall of Owen +upon his body, he might not have survived the wound, inasmuch as the +medical skill, which contributed to restore him, would not have been +called in. + +Though old Frank M'Kenna and his family felt an oppressive load of +misery taken off their hearts by the prospect of Reillaghan's recovery, +yet it was impossible for them to be insensible to the fate of their +son, knowing as they did, that he must have been out among the mountains +during the storm. His unhappy mother and Rody sat up the whole night, +expecting his return, but morning arrived without bringing him home. +For six days afterwards the search for him was general and strict; his +friends and neighbors traversed the mountain wastes until they left +scarcely an acre of them unexplored. On the sixth day there came a thaw, +and towards the close of the seventh he was found a "stiffened corpse," +_upon the very spot where he had shot his rival_, and on which he had +challenged the Almighty to stretch him in death, without priest or +prayer, if he were guilty of the crime with which he had been charged. +He was found lying with a, circle drawn round him, his head pillowed +upon the innocent blood which he had shed with the intention of murder, +and a bloody cross marked upon his breast and forehead. It was thought +that in the dread of approaching death he had formed it with his hand, +which came accidentally in contact with the blood that lay in clots +about him. + +[Illustration: PAGE 886-- Upon the very spot where he had shot his +rival] + +The manner of his death excited a profound and wholesome feeling among +the people, with respect to the crime which he attempted to commit. The +circumstances attending it, and his oath upon the spot where he shot +Reillaghan, are still spoken of by the fathers of the neighboring +villages, and even by some who were present at the search for his body, +it was also doubly remarkable on account of a case of spectral illusion +which it produced, and which was ascribed to the effect of M'Kenna's +supernatural appearance at the time. The daughter of a herdsman in the +mountains was strongly affected by the spectacle of his dead body borne +past her father's door. In about a fortnight afterwards she assured +her family that he appeared to her. She saw the apparition, in the +beginning, only at night; but ere long it ventured, as she imagined, +to appear in day-light. Many imaginary conversations took place between +them; and the fact of the peasantry flocking to the herd's house to +satisfy themselves as to the truth of the rumor, is yet well remembered +in the parish. It, was also affirmed, that as the funeral of M'Kenna +passed to the churchyard, a hare crossed it, which some one present +struck on the side with a stone. The hare, says the tradition, was not +injured, but the sound of the stroke resembled that produced on striking +an empty barrel. + +We have nearly wound up our story, in which we have feebly endeavored to +illustrate scenes that were, some time ago, not unusual in Irish life. +There is little more to be added, except that Mike Reillaghan almost +miraculously recovered; that he and Peggy Gartland were happily married, +and that Darby More lost his character as a dreamer in that parish, +Mike, with whom, however, he still continued a favorite, used frequently +to allude to the speaking crucifix, the dream aforesaid, and his bit +of fiction, in assuring his mother that he had dissuaded him against +"tracing" on that eventful day. + +"Well, avourneen," Darby would exclaim, "the holiest of us has our +failins; but, in throth, the truth of it is, that myself didn't know +what I was sayin', I was so _through other_ (* agitated); for I renumber +that I was badly afflicted with this thief of a configuration inwardly +at the time. That, you see, and your own throubles, put my mind +ashanghran for 'a start. But, upon my sanctity,--an' sure that's a +great oath wid me--only for the Holy Carol you bought from me the night +before, an' above all touchin' you wid the blessed Cruciwhix, you'd +never a' got over the same accident. Oh, you may smile an' shake your +head, but it's thruth whether or not! Glory be to God!" + +The priest of the parish, on ascertaining correctly the incidents +mentioned in this sketch, determined to deprive the people of at least +one pretext for their follies. He represented the abuses connected with +such a ceremony to the bishop; and from that night to the present +time, the inhabitants of Kilnaheery never had, in their own parish, an +opportunity of hearing a Midnight Mass. + + + + + + +THE DONAGH; OR, THE HORSE STEALERS. + + +Carnmore, one of those small villages that are to be found in the +outskirts of many parishes in Ireland, whose distinct boundaries are +lost in the contiguous mountain-wastes, was situated at the foot of a +deep gorge or pass, overhung by two bleak hills, from the naked sides of +which the storm swept over it, without discomposing the peaceful little +nook of cabins that stood below. About a furlong farther down were +two or three farm-houses, inhabited by a family named Cassidy, men +of simple, inoffensive manners, and considerable wealth. They were, +however, acute and wise in their generation; intelligent cattle-dealers, +on whom it would have been a matter of some difficulty to impose an +unsound horse, or a cow older than was intimated by her horn-rings, even +when conscientiously dressed up for sale by the ingenious aid of the +file or burning-iron. Between their houses and the hamlet rose a conical +pile of rocks, loosely leaped together, from which the place took its +name of Carnmore. + +About three years before the time of this story, there came two men with +their families to reside in the upper village, and the house which they +chose as a residence was one at some distance from those which composed +the little group we have just been describing. They said their name was +Meehan, although the general report went, that this was not true; that +the name was an assumed one, and that some dark mystery, which none +could penetrate, shrouded their history and character. They were +certainly remarkable men. The elder, named Anthony, was a dark, +black-browed person, stern in his manner, and atrociously cruel in his +disposition. His form was Herculean, his bones strong and hard as iron, +and his sinews stood out in undeniable evidence of a life hitherto spent +in severe toil and exertion, to bear which he appeared to an amazing +degree capable. His brother Denis was a small man, less savage and +daring in his character, and consequently more vacillating and cautious +than Anthony; for the points in which he resembled him were superinduced +upon his natural disposition by the close connection that subsisted +between them, and by the identity of their former pursuits in life, +which, beyond doubt, had been such as could not bear investigation. + +The old proverb of "birds of a feather flock together," is certainly a +true one, and in this case it was once more verified. Before the arrival +of these men in the village, there had been two or three bad characters +in the neighborhood, whose delinquencies were pretty well known. With +these persons the strangers, by that sympathy which assimilates with +congenial good or evil, soon became acquainted; and although their +intimacy was as secret and cautious as possible, still it had been +observed, and was known, for they had frequently been seen skulking +together at daybreak, or in the dusk of evening. + +It is unnecessary to say that Meehan and his brother did not mingle much +in the society of Carnmore. In fact, the villagers and they mutually +avoided each other. A mere return of the common phrases of salutation +was generally the most that passed between them; they never entered into +that familiarity which leads to mutual intercourse, and justifies one +neighbor in freely entering the cabin of another, to spend a winter's +night, or a summer's evening, in amusing conversation. Few had ever been +in the house of the Meehans since it became theirs; nor were the means +of their subsistence known. They led an idle life, had no scarcity of +food, were decently clothed, and never wanted money; circumstances which +occasioned no small degree of conjecture in Carnmore and its vicinity. + +Some said they lived by theft; others that they were coiners; and there +were many who imagined, from the diabolical countenance of the older +brother, that he had sold himself to the devil, who, they affirmed, set +his mark upon him, and was his paymaster. Upon this hypothesis several +were ready to prove that he had neither breath nor shadow; they had seen +him, they said, standing under a hedge-row of elder--that unholy +tree which furnished wood for the cross, and on which Judas hanged +himself--yet, although it was noon-day in the month of July, his person +threw out no shadow. Worthy souls! because the man stood in the shade at +the time. But with these simple explanations Superstition had nothing to +do, although we are bound in justice to the reverend old lady to affirm +that she was kept exceedingly busy in Carnmore. If a man had a sick +cow, she was elf-shot; if his child became consumptive, it had been +overlooked, or received a blast from the fairies; if the whooping-cough +was rife, all the afflicted children were put three times under an ass; +or when they happened to have the "mumps," were led, before sunrise to a +south-running stream, with a halter hanging about their necks, under +an obligation of silence during the ceremony In short, there could +not possibly be a more superstitious spot than that which these men of +mystery had selected for their residence. Another circumstance which +caused the people to look upon them with additional dread, was their +neglect of mass on Sundays and holydays, though they avowed themselves +Roman Catholics. They did not, it is true, join in the dances, +drinking-matches, football, and other sports with which the Carnmore +folk celebrated the Lord's day; but they scrupled not, on the other +hand, to mend their garden-ditch or mould a row of cabbages on the +Sabbath--a circumstance, for which two or three of the Carnmore boys +were, one Sunday evening when tipsy, well-nigh chastising them. Their +usual manner, however, of spending that day was by sauntering lazily +about the fields, or stretching themselves supinely on the sunny side of +the hedges, their arms folded on their bosoms, and their hats lying over +their faces to keep off the sun. + +In the mean time, loss of property was becoming quite common in the +neighborhood. Sheep were stolen from the farmers, and cows and horses +from the more extensive graziers in the parish. The complaints against +the authors of these depredations were loud and incessant: watches were +set, combinations for mutual security formed, and subscriptions to a +considerable amount entered into, with a hope of being able, by the +temptation of a large reward, to work upon the weakness or cupidity +of some accomplice to betray the gang of villains who infested the +neighborhood. All, however, was in vain; every week brought some new act +of plunder to light, perpetrated upon such unsuspecting persons as +had hitherto escaped the notice of the robbers; but no trace could be +discovered of the perpetrators. Although theft had from time to time +been committed upon a small scale before the arrival of the Meehans in +the village, yet it was undeniable that since that period the instances +not only multiplied, but became of a more daring and extensive +description. They arose in a gradual scale, from the henroost to the +stable; and with such ability were they planned and executed, that the +people, who in every instance identified Meehan and his brother with +them, began to believe and hint that, in consequence of their compact +with the devil, they had power to render themselves invisible. Common +Fame, who can best treat such subjects, took up this, and never laid it +aside until, by narrating several exploits which Meehan the elder was +said to have performed in other parts of the kingdom, she wound it up by +roundly informing the Carnmorians, that, having been once taken prisoner +for murder, he was caught by the leg, when half through a hedge, but +that; being most wickedly determined to save his neck, he left the leg +with the officer who took him, shouting out that it was a new species +of leg-bail; and yet he moved away with surprising speed, upon two of as +good legs as any man in his majesty's dominions might wish to walk off +upon, from the insinuating advances of a bailiff or a constable! + +The family of the Meehans consisted of their wives and three children, +two boys and a girl; the former were the offspring of the younger +brother, and the latter of Anthony. It has been observed, with truth and +justice, that there is no man, how hardened and diabolical soever in +his natural temper, who does not exhibit to some particular object +a peculiar species of affection. Such a man was Anthony Meehan. +That sullen hatred which he bore to human society, and that inherent +depravity of heart which left the trail of vice and crime upon his +footsteps, were flung off his character when he addressed his daughter +Anne. To him her voice was like music; to her he was not the reckless +villain, treacherous and cruel, which the helpless and unsuspecting +found him; but a parent kind and indulgent as ever pressed an only and +beloved daughter to his bosom. Anne was handsome: had she been born and +educated in an elevated rank in society, she would have been softened +by the polish and luxury of life into perfect beauty: she was, however, +utterly without education. As Anne experienced from her father no +unnatural cruelty, no harshness, nor even indifference, she consequently +loved him in return; for she knew that tenderness from such a man was a +proof of parental love rarely to be found in life. Perhaps she loved not +her father the less on perceiving that he was proscribed by the world; +a circumstance which might also have enhanced in his eyes the affection +she bore him. When Meehan came to Carnmore, she was sixteen; and, as +that was three years before the incident occurred on which we have +founded this narrative, the reader may now suppose her to be about +nineteen; an interesting country girl, as to person, but with a mind +completely neglected, yet remarkable for an uncommon stock of good +nature and credulity. + +About the hour of eleven o'clock, one winter's night in the beginning of +December, Meehan and his brother sat moodily at their hearth. The fire +was of peat which had recently been put down, and, from between the +turf, the ruddy blaze was shooting out in those little tongues and, +gusts of sober light, which throw around the rural hearth one of those +charms which make up the felicity of domestic life. The night was +stormy, and the wind moaned and howled along the dark hills beneath +which the cottage stood. Every object in the house was shrouded in a +mellow shade, which afforded to the eye no clear outline, except around +the hearth alone, where the light brightened into a golden hue, giving +the idea of calmness and peace. Anthony Meehan sat on one side of it, +and his daughter opposite him, knitting: before the fire sat Denis, +drawing shapes in the ashes for his own amusement. + +"Bless me," said he, "how sthrange it is!" + +"What is?" inquired Anthony, in his deep and grating tones. + +"Why, thin, it is sthrange!" continued the other, who, despite of the +severity of his brother, was remarkably superstitious--"a coffin I made +in the ashes three times runnin'! Isn't it very quare, Anne?" he added, +addressing the niece. + +"Sthrange enough, of a sartinty," she replied, being unwilling to +express before her father the alarm which the incident, slight as it +was, created in her mind; for she, like her uncle, was subject to such +ridiculous influences. "How did it happen, uncle?" + +"Why, thin, no way in life, Anne; only, as I was thryin' to make a shoe, +it turned out a coffin on my hands. I thin smoothed the ashes, and began +agin, an' sorra bit of it but was a coffin still. Well, says I, I'll +give you another chance,--here goes one more;--an', as sure as gun's +iron, it was a coffin the third time. Heaven be about us, it's odd +enough!" + +"It would be little matther you were nailed down in a coffin," replied +Anthony, fiercely; "the world would have little loss. What a pitiful +cowardly rascal you are! Afraid o' your own shadow afther the 'sun goes +down, except I'm at your elbow! Can't you dhrive all them palavers out +o' your head? Didn't the sargint tell us, an' prove to us, the time we +broke the guardhouse, an' took Frinch lave o' the ridgment for good, +that the whole o' that, an' more along wid it, is all priestcraft?" + +"I remimber he did, sure enough: I dunna where the same sargint is now, +Tony? About no good, any way, I'll be bail. Howsomever, in regard o' +that, why doesn't yourself give up fastin' from the mate of a Friday?" + +"Do you want me to sthretch you on the hearth?" replied the savage, +whilst his eyes kindled into fury, and his grim visage darkened into a +satanic expression. "I'll tache you to be puttin' me through my catechiz +about aitin' mate. I may manage that as I plase; it comes at first-cost, +anyhow: but no cross-questions to me about it, if you regard your +health!" + +"I must say for you," replied Denis, reproachfully, "that you're a good +warrant to put the health astray upon us of an odd start: we're not come +to this time o' day widout carryin' somethin' to remimber you by. For my +own part, Tony, I don't like such tokens; an' moreover, I wish you +had resaved a thrifle o' larnin', espishily in the writin' line; for +whenever we have any difference, you're so ready to prove your opinion +by settin' your mark upon me, that I'd rather, fifty times over, you +could write it with pen an' ink." + +"My father will give that up, uncle," said the niece; "it's bad for any +body to be fightin', but worst of all for brothers, that ought to live +in peace and kindness. Won't you, father?" + +"Maybe I will, dear, some o' these days, on your account, Anne; but you +must get this creature of an uncle of yours, to let me alone, an' not +be aggravatin' me with his folly. As for your mother, she's worse; her +tongue's sharp enough to skin a flint, and a batin' a day has little +effect on her." + +Anne sighed, for she knew how long an irreligious life, and the infamous +society with which, as her father's wife, her mother was compelled to +mingle, had degraded her. + +"Well, but, father, you don't set her a good example yourself," said +Anne; "and if she scoulds and drinks now, you know she was a different +woman when you got her. You allow this yourself; and the crathur, the +dhrunkest time she is, doesn't she cry bittherly, remimberin' what she +has been. Instead of one batin' a day, father, thry no batin' a day, an' +maybe it 'ill turn out betther than thump-in' an' smashin' her as you +do." + +"Why, thin, there's truth and sinse in what the girl says, Tony," +observed Denis. + +"Come," replied Anthony, "whatever she may say I'll suffer none of your +interference. Go an' get us the black bottle from the place; it'll soon +be time to move. I hope they won't stay too long." + +Denis obeyed this command with great readiness, for whiskey in some +degree blunted the fierce passions of his brother, and deadened his +cruelty; or rather diverted it from minor objects to those which +occurred in the lawless perpetration of his villany. + +The bottle was got, and in the meantime the fire blazed up brightly; the +storm without, however, did not abate, nor did Meehan and his brother +wish that it should. As the elder of them took the glass from the +hands of the other, an air of savage pleasure blazed in his eyes, on +reflecting that the tempest of the night was favorable to the execution +of the villanous deed on which they were bent. + +"More power to you!" said Anthony, impiously personifying the storm; +"sure that's one proof that God doesn't throuble his head about what +we do, or we would not get such a murdherin' fine night as is in it +any how. That's it! blow and tundher away, an' keep yourself an' us, as +black as hell, sooner than we should fail in what we intend! Anne, your +health, acushla!--Yours, Dinny! If you keep your tongue off o' me, I'll +neither make nor meddle in regard o' the batin' o' you." + +"I hope you'll stick to that, any how," replied Denis; "for my part I'm +sick and sore o' you every day in the year. Many another man would +put salt wather between himself and yourself, sooner nor become a +battin'-stone for you, as I have been. Few would bear it, when they +could mend themselves." + +"What's that you say?" replied Anthony, suddenly laying down his glass, +catching his brother by the collar, and looking him with a murderous +scowl in the face. "Is it thrachery you hint at?--eh? Sarpent, is it +thrachery you mane?" and as he spoke, he compressed Denis's neck between +his powerful hands, until the other was black in the face. + +Anne flew to her uncle's assistance, and with much difficulty succeeded +in rescuing him from the deadly gripe of her father, who exclaimed, as +he loosed his hold, "You may thank the girl, or you'd not spake, +nor dare to spake, about crossin' the salt wather, or lavin' me in a +desateful way agin. If I ever suspect that a thought of thrachery comes +into your heart, I'll do for you; and you may carry your story to the +world I'll send you to." + +"Father, dear, why are you so suspicious of my uncle?" said Anne; "sure +he's a long time livin' with you, an' goin' step for step in all the +danger you meet with. If he had a mind to turn out a Judas agin you, he +might a done it long agone; not to mintion the throuble it would bring +on his own head seein' he's as deep in everything as you are." + +"If that's all that's throubling you," replied Denis, trembling, "you +may make yourself asy on the head of it; but well I know 'tisn't that +that's on your mind; 'tis your own conscience; but sure it's not fair +nor rasonable for you to vent your evil thoughts on me!" + +"Well, he won't," said Anne, "he'll quit it; his mind's throubled; an', +dear knows, it's no wondher it should. Och, I'd give the world wide that +his conscience was lightened of the load that's upon it! My mother's +lameness is nothin'; but the child, poor thing! An' it was only widin +three days of her lyin'-in. Och, it was a cruel sthroke, father! An' +when I seen its little innocent face, dead an' me widout a brother, I +thought my heart would break, thinkin' upon who did it!" The tears fell +in showers from her eyes, as she added, "Father, I don't want to vex +you; but I wish you to feel sorrow for that at laste. Oh, if you'd bring +the priest, an' give up sich coorses, father dear, how happy we'd be, +an' how happy yourself 'ud be!" + +Conscience for a moment started from her sleep, and uttered a cry of +guilt in his spirit; his face became ghastly, and his eyes full of +horror: his lips quivered, and he' was about to upbraid his daughter +with more harshness than usual, when a low whistle, resembling that of +a curlew, was heard at a chink of the door. In a moment he gulped down +another glass of spirits, and was on his feet: "Go, Denis, an' get the +arms," said he to his brother, "while I let them in." + +On opening the door, three men entered, having their great coats muffled +about them, and their hats slouched. One of them, named Kenny, was a +short villain, but of a thick-set, hairy frame. The other was known as +"the Big Mower," in consequence of his following that employment every +season, and of his great skill in performing it. He had a deep-rooted +objection against permitting the palm of his hand to be seen; a +reluctance which common fame attributed to the fact of his having +received on that part the impress of a hot iron, in the shape of the +letter T, not forgetting to add, that T was the hieroglyphic for Thief. +The villain himself affirmed it was simply the mark of a cross, burned +into it by a blessed friar, as a charm against St. Vitus's dance, +to which he had once been subject. The people, however, were rather +sceptical, not of the friar's power to cure that malady, but of the +fact of his ever having moved a limb under it; and they concluded with +telling him, good-humoredly enough, that notwithstanding the charm, he +was destined to die "wid the threble of it in his toe." The third was a +noted pedlar called Martin, who, under pretence of selling tape, +pins, scissors, etc., was very useful in setting such premises as this +virtuous fraternity might, without much risk, make a descent upon. + +"I thought yez would out-stay your time," said the elder Meehan, +relapsing into his determined hardihood of character; "we're ready, +hours agone. Dick Rice gave me two curlew an' two patrich calls to-day. +Now pass the glass among yez, while Denny brings the arms. I know +there's danger in this business, in regard of the Cassidys livin' so +near us. If I see anybody afut, I'll use the curlew call: an' if not, +I'll whistle twice on the patrich (* partridge) one, an' ye may come an. +The horse is worth eighty guineas, if he's worth a shillin'; an' we'll +make sixty off him ourselves." + +For some time they chatted about the plan in contemplation, and drank +freely of the spirits, until at length the impatience of the elder +Meehan at the delay of his brother became ungovernable. His voice +deepened into tones of savage passion, as he uttered a series of +blasphemous curses against this unfortunate butt of his indignation +and malignity. At length he rushed out furiously to know why he did not +return; but, on reaching a secret excavation in the mound against which +the house was built, he found, to his utter dismay, that Denis had +made his escape by an artificial passage, scooped out of it to secure +themselves a retreat in case of surprise or detection. It opened behind +the house among a clump of black-thorn and brushwood, and wis covered +"with green turf in such a manner as to escape the notice of all who +were not acquainted with the secret. Meehan's face on his return was +worked up into an expression truly awful. + +"We're sould!" said he; "but stop, I'll tache the thraithur what revenge +is!" + +In a moment he awoke his brother's two sons, and dragged them by the +neck, one in each hand, to the hearth. + +"Your villain of a father's off," said he, "to betray us; go, an' folly +him; bring him back, an' he'll be safe from me: but let him become a +slag agin us, and if I should hunt you both into bowels of the airth, +I'll send yez to a short account. I don't care that," and he snapped his +fingers--"ha, ha--no, I don't care that for the law; I know how to dale +with it, when it comes! An' what's the stuff about the other world, but +priestcraft and lies!" + +"Maybe," said the Big Mower, "Denis is gone to get the foreway of us, +an' to take the horse himself. Our best plan is to lose no time, at all +events; so let us hurry, for fraid the night might happen to clear up." + +"He!" said Meehan, "he go alone! No; the miserable wretch is afeard +of his own shadow. I only wondher he stuck to me so long: but sure he +wouldn't, only I bate the courage in, and the fear out of him. You're +right, Brian," said he upon reflection, "let us lose no time, but be +off. Do ye mind?" he added to his nephews; "Did ye hear me? If you see +him, let him come back, an' all will be berrid; but, if he doesn't, you +know your fate!" Saying which, he and his accomplices departed amid the +howling of the storm. + +The next morning, Carnmore, and indeed the whole parish, was in an +uproar; a horse, worth eighty guineas, had been stolen in the most +daring manner from the Cassidys, and the hue-and-cry was up after the +thief or thieves who took him. For several days the search was closely +maintained, but without success; not the slightest trace could be found +of him or them. The Cassidys could very well bear to lose him; but there +were many struggling farmers, on whose property serious depredations +had been committed, who could not sustain their loss so easily. It was +natural under these circumstances that suspicion should attach to many +persons, some of whom had but indifferent characters before as well as +to several who certainly had never deserved suspicion. When a fortnight +or so had elapsed, and no circumstances transpired that might lead to +discovery, the neighbors, including those who had principally suffered +by the robberies, determined to assemble upon a certain day at +Cassidy's house, for the purpose of clearing themselves, on oath, of +the imputation thrown out against some of them, as accomplices in the +thefts. In order, however, that the ceremony should be performed as +solemnly as possible, they determined to send for Father Farrell, and +Mr. Nicholson, a magistrate, both of whom they requested to undertake +the task of jointly presiding upon this occasion; and, that the +circumstance should have every publicity, it was announced from the +altar by the priest, on the preceding Sabbath, and published on the +church-gate in large legible characters ingeniously printed with a pen +by the village schoolmaster. + +In fact, the intended meeting, and the object of it, were already +notorious; and much conversation was held upon its probable result, and +the measures which might be taken against those who should refuse to +swear. Of the latter, description there was but one opinion, which was +that their refusal in such a case would be tantamount to guilt. The +innocent were anxious to vindicate themselves from suspicion: and, as +the suspected did not amount to more than a dozen, of course, the whole +body of the people, including the thieves themselves, who applauded it +as loudly as the other, all expressed their satisfaction at the measures +about to be adopted. A day was therefore appointed, on which the +inhabitants of the neighborhood, particularly the suspected persons, +should come to assemble at Cassidy's house, in order to have the +characters of the innocent cleared up, and the guilty, if possible, made +known. + +On the evening before this took place, were assembled in Meehan's +cottage, the elder Meehan, and the rest of the gang, including Denis, +who had absconded, on the night of the theft. + +"Well, well, Denny," said Anthony, who forced his rugged nature into an +appearance of better temper, that he might strengthen the timid +spirit of his brother against the scrutiny about to take place on the +morrow--perhaps, too, he dreaded him--"Well, well. Denny, I thought, +sure enough, that it was some new piece of cowardice came over you. Just +think of him," he added, "shabbin' off, only because he made, with a +bit of a rod, three strokes in the ashes that he thought resembled a +coffin!--ha, ha, ha!" + +This produced a peal of derision at Denis's pusillanimous terror. + +"Ay!" said the Big Mower, "he was makin' a coffin, was he? I wondher it +wasn't a rope you drew, Denny. If any one dies in the coil, it will be +the greatest coward, an' that's yourself." + +"You may all laugh," replied Denis, "but I know such things to have a +manin'. When my mother died, didn't my father, the heavens be his bed! +see a black coach about a week before it? an' sure from the first day +she tuck ill, the dead-watch was heard in the house every night: and +what was more nor that, she kept warm until she went into her grave; * +an' accordingly, didn't my sisther Shibby die within a year afther?" + + * It is supposed in Ireland, when a corpse retains, for + a longer space of time than usual, any thing like + animal heat, that some person belonging to the family + of the deceased will die within a year. + +"It's no matther about thim things," replied Anthony; "it's thruth about +the dead-watch, my mother keepin' warm, an' Shibby's death, any way, But +on the night we tuck Cassidy's horse, I thought you were goin' to betray +us: I was surely in a murdherin' passion, an' would have done harm, only +things turned out as they did." + +"Why," said Denis, "the truth is, I was afeard some of us would be shot, +an' that the lot would fall on myself; for the coffin, thinks I, was +sent as a warnin'. How-and-ever, I spied about Cassidy's stable, till +I seen that the coast was clear; so whin I heard the low cry of the +patrich that Anthony and I agreed on, I joined yez." + +"Well, about to-morrow," observed Kenny--"ha, ha, ha!--there'll be lots +o' swearin'--Why the whole parish is to switch the primer; many a +thumb and coat-cuff will be kissed in spite of priest or magistrate. I +remimber once, when I was swearin' an alibi for long Paddy Murray, that +suffered for the M'Gees, I kissed my thumb, I thought, so smoothly, that +no one would notice it; but I had a keen one to dale with, so says he, +'You know for the matther o' that, my good fellow, that you have your +thumb to kiss every day in the week,' says he, 'but you might salute the +book out o' dacency and good manners; not,' says he, 'that you an' it +are strangers aither; for, if I don't mistake, you're an ould hand at +swearin' alibis.' + +"At all evints, I had to smack the book itself, and it's I, and Barney +Green, and Tim Casserly, that did swear stiffly for Paddy, but the thing +was too clear agin him. So he suffered, poor fellow, an' died right +game, for he said over his dhrop--ha, ha, ha!--that he was as innocent +o' the murder as a child unborn: an' so he was in one sinse, bein' +afther gettin' absolution." + +"As to thumb-kissin'," observed the elder Meehan; "let there be none +of it among us to-morrow; if we're caught at it 'twould be as bad +as stayin' away altogether; for my part, I'll give it a smack like a +pistol-shot--ha, ha, ha!" + +"I hope they won't bring the priest's book," said Denis. "I haven't the +laste objection agin payin' my respects to the magistrate's paper, but +somehow I don't like tastin' the priest's in a falsity." + +"Don't you know," said the Big Mower, "that with a magistrate's present, +it's ever an' always only the Tistament by law that's used. I myself +wouldn't kiss the mass-book in a falsity." + +"There's none of us sayin' we'd do it in a lie," said the elder Meehan; +"an' it's well for thousands that the law doesn't use the priest's book; +though, after all, aren't there books that say religion's all a sham? I +think myself it is; for if what they talk about justice an' Providence +is thrue, would Tom Dillon be transported for the robbery we committed +at Bantry? Tom, it's true, was an ould offender; but he was innocent of +that, any way. The world's all chance; boys, as Sargint Eustace used to +say, and whin we die there's no more about us; so that I don't see why +a man mightn't as well switch the priest's book as any other, only that, +somehow, a body can't shake the terror of it off o' them." + +"I dunna, Anthony, but you and I ought to curse that sargint; only for +him we mightn't be as we are, sore in our conscience, an' afeard of +every fut we hear passin'," observed Denis. + +"Spake for your own cowardly heart, man alive," replied Anthony; "for my +part, I'm afeared o' nothin'. Put round the glass, and don't be nursin' +it there all night. Sure we're not so bad as the rot among the sheep, +nor the black leg among the bullocks, nor the staggers among the horses, +any how; an' yet they'd hang us up only for bein' fond of a bit o' +mate--ha, ha, ha!" + +"Thrue enough," said the Big Mower, philosophizing--"God made the +beef and the mutton, and the grass to feed it; but it was man made +the ditches: now we're only bringin' things back to the right way that +Providence made them in, when ould times were in it, manin' before +ditches war invinted--ha, ha, ha!" + +"'Tis a good argument," observed Kenny, "only that judge and jury +would be a little delicate in actin' up to it; an' the more's the pity. +Howsomever, as Providence made the mutton, sure it's not harm for us to +take what he sends." + +"Ay; but," said Denis, + + "'God made man, an' man made money; + God made bees, and bees made honey; + God made Satan, an' Satan made sin; + An' God made a hell to put Satan in.' + +Let nobody say there's not a hell; isn't there it plain from Scripthur?" + +"I wish you had the Scripthur tied about your neck!" replied Anthony. +"How fond of it one o' the greatest thieves that ever missed the rope +is! Why the fellow could plan a roguery with any man that ever danced +the hangman's hornpipe, and yet he be's repatin' bits an' scraps of ould +prayers, an' charms, an' stuff. Ay, indeed! Sure he has a varse out o' +the Bible, that he thinks can prevent a man from bein' hung up any day!" + +While Denny, the Big Mower, and the two Meehans were thus engaged +in giving expression to their peculiar opinions, the Pedlar held a +conversation of a different kind with Anne. + +With the secrets of the family in his keeping, he commenced a rather +penitent review of his own life, and expressed his intention of +abandoning so dangerous a mode of accumulating wealth. He said that +he thanked heaven he had already laid up sufficient for the wants of a +reasonable man; that he understood farming and the management of sheep +particularly well: that it was his intention to remove to a different +part of the kingdom, and take a farm; and that nothing prevented him +from having done this before, but the want of a helpmate to take care of +his establishment: he added, that his present wife was of an intolerable +temper, and a greater villain by fifty degrees than himself. He +concluded by saying, that his conscience twitched him night and day for +living with her, and that by abandoning her immediately, becoming truly +religious, and taking Anne in her place, he hoped, he said, to atone in +some measure for his former errors. + +Anthony, however, having noticed the earnestness which marked the +Pedlar's manner, suspected him of attempting to corrupt the principles +of his daughter, having forgotten the influence which his own opinions +were calculated to produce upon her heart. + +"Martin," said he, "'twould be as well you ped attention to what we're +sayin' in regard o' the thrial to-morrow, as to be palaverin' talk into +the girl's ear that can't be good comin' from _your_ lips. Quit it, I +say, quit it! _Corp an duoiwol_ (* My body to Satan)!--I won't allow +such proceedins!" + +"Swear till you blister your lips, Anthony," replied Martin: "as for +me, bein' no residenthur, I'm not bound to it; an' what's more, I'm not +suspected. 'Tis settin' some other bit o' work for yez I'll be, while +you're all clearin' yourselves from stealin' honest Cassidy's horse. I +wish we had him safely disposed of in the mane time, an' the money for +him an' the other beasts in our pockets." + +Much more conversation of a similar kind passed between them upon +various topics connected with their profligacy and crimes. At length +they separated for the night, after having concerted their plan of +action for the ensuing scrutiny. + +The next morning, before the hour appointed arrived, the parish, +particularly the neighborhood of Carnmore, was struck with deep +consternation. Labor became suspended, mirth disappeared, and every face +was marked with paleness, anxiety, and apprehension. If two men met, one +shook his head mysteriously, and inquired from the other, "Did you hear +the news?" + +"Ay! ay! the Lord be about us all, I did! an' I pray God that it may +lave the counthry as it came to it!" + +"Oh, an' that it may, I humbly make supplication this day!" + +If two women met, it was with similar mystery and fear. "Vread, (* +Margaret) do you know what's at the Cassidys'?" + +"Whisht, ahagur, I do; but let what will happen, sure it's best for us +to say nothin'." + +"Say! the blessed Virgin forbid! I'd cut my hand off o' me, afore I'd +spake a word about it; only that--" + +"Whisht! woman--for mercy's sake--don't----" + +And so they would separate, each crossing herself devoutly. + +The meeting at Cassidy's was to take place that day at twelve o'clock; +but, about two hours before the appointed time, Anne, who had been in +some of the other houses, came into her father's, quite pale, breathless +and trembling. + +"Oh!" she exclaimed, with clasped hands, whilst the tears fell fast +from her eyes, "we'll be lost, ruined; did yez hear what's in the +neighborhood wid the Cassidys?" + +"Girl," said the father, with more severity than he had ever manifested +to her before, "I never yet riz my hand to you, but _ma corp an duowol_, +if you open your lips, I'll fell you where you stand. Do you want that +cowardly uncle o' yours to be the manes o' hanging your father? Maybe +that was one o' the lessons Martin gave you last night?" And as he spoke +he knit his brows at her with that murderous scowl which was habitual +to him. The girl trembled, and began to think that since her father's +temper deepened in domestic outrage and violence as his crimes +multiplied, the sooner she left the family the better. Every day, +indeed, diminished that species of instinctive affection which she had +entertained towards him; and this, in proportion as her reason ripened +into a capacity for comprehending the dark materials of which his +character was composed. Whether he himself began to consider detection +at hand, or not, we cannot say; but it is certain, that his conduct +was marked with a callous recklessness of spirit, which increased in +atrocity to such a degree, that even his daughter could,only not look on +him with disgust. + +"What's the matter now?" inquired Denis, with alarm: "is it anything +about us, Anthony?" + +"No, 'tisn't," replied the other, "anything about us! What 'ud it be +about us for? 'Tis a lyin' report that some cunnin' knave spread, hopin' +to find out the guilty. But hear me, Denis, once for all; we're goin' to +clear ourselves--now listen--an' let my words sink deep into you +heart: if you refuse to swear this day--no matther what's put into your +hand--you'll do harm--that's all: have courage, man; but should you cow, +your coorse will be short; an' mark, even if you escape me, your sons +won't: I have it all planned: an' _corp an duowol!_ thim you won't know +from Adam will revenge me, if I am taken up through your unmanliness." + +"'Twould be betther for us to lave the counthry," said Anne; "we might +slip away as it is." + +"Ay," said the father, "an' be taken by the neck afore we'd get two +miles from the place! no, no, girl; it's the safest way to brazen thim +out. Did you hear me, Denis?" + +Denis started, for he had been evidently pondering on the mysterious +words of Anne, to which his brother's anxiety to conceal them gave +additional mystery. The coffin, too, recurred to him; and he feared that +the death shadowed out by it would in some manner or other occur in the +family. He was, in fact, one of those miserable villains with but half +a conscience;--that is to say, as much as makes them the slaves of the +fear which results from crime, without being the slightest impediment to +their committing it. It was no wonder he started at the deep pervading +tones of his brother's voice, for the question was put with ferocious +energy. + +On starting, he looked with vague terror on his brother, fearing, but +not comprehending, his question. + +"What is it, Anthony?" he inquired. "Oh, for that matther," replied +the other, "nothin' at all: think of what I said to you any how; swear +through thick an' thin, if you have a regard for your own health, or +for your childher. Maybe I had betther repate it again for you?" he +continued, eyeing him with mingled fear and suspicion. "Dennis, as a +friend, I bid you mind yourself this day, an' see you don't bring aither +of us into throuble." + +There lay before the Cassidys' houses a small flat of common, trodden +into rings by the young horses they were in the habit of training. On +this level space were assembled those who came, either to clear their +own character from suspicion, or to witness the ceremony. The day was +dark and lowering, and heavy clouds rolled slowly across the peaks of +the surrounding mountains; scarcely a breath of air could be felt; and, +as the country people silently approached, such was the closeness of the +day, their haste to arrive in time, and their general anxiety, either +for themselves or their friends, that almost every man, on reaching the +spot, might be seen taking up the skirts of his "cothamore," or "big +coat," (the peasant's handkerchief), to wipe the sweat from his brow; +and as he took off his dingy woollen hat, or caubeen, the perspiration +rose in strong exhalations from his head. + +"Michael, am I in time?" might be heard from such persons, as they +arrived: "did this business begin yit?" + +"Full time, Larry; myself's here an hour ago but no appearance of +anything as yit. Father Farrell and Squire Nicholson are both in +Cassidys' waitin' till they're all gother, whin they'll begin to put +thim through their facins. You hard about what they've got?" + +"No; for I'm only on my way home from the berril of a _cleaveen_ of +mine, that we put down this mornin' in the Tullyard. What is it?" + +"Why man alive, it's through the whole parish _inready_;"--he then went +on, lowering his voice to a whisper, and speaking in a tone bordering on +dismay. + +The other crossed himself, and betrayed symptoms of awe and +astonishment, not un-mingled with fear. + +"Well," he replied, "I dunna whether I'd come here, if I'd known that; +for, innocent or guilty, I would'nt wish to be near it. Och, may God +pity thim that's to come acrass it, I espishily if they dare to do it in +a lie!" + +"They needn't, I can tell yez both," observed a third person, "be a hair +afeard of it, for the best rason livin', that there's no thruth at all +in the report, nor the Cassidys never thought of sindin' for anything o' +the kind: I have it from Larry Cassidy's own lips, an' he ought to know +best." The truth is, that two reports were current among the crowd: one +that the oath was to be simply on the Bible; and the other, that a more +awful means of expurgation was resorted to by the Cassidys. The people, +consequently, not knowing which to credit, felt that most painful of all +sensations--uncertainty. + +During the period which intervened between their assembling and the +commencement of the ceremony, a spectator, interested in contemplating +the workings of human nature in circumstances of deep interest, would +have had ample scope for observation. The occasion was to them a solemn +one. There was little conversation among them; for when a man is +wound up to a pitch of great interest, he is seldom disposed to relish +discourse. Every brow was anxious, every cheek blanched, and every, +arm folded: they scarcely stirred, or when they did, only with slow +abstracted movements, rather mechanical than voluntary. If an individual +made his appearance about Cassidy's door, a sluggish stir among them was +visible, and a low murmur of a peculiar character might be heard; but +on perceiving that it was only some ordinary person, all subsided again +into a brooding stillness that was equally singular and impressive. + +Under this peculiar feeling was the multitude, when Meehan and his +brother were seen approaching it from their own house. The elder, with +folded arms, and hat pulled over his brows, stalked grimly forward, +having that remarkable scowl upon his face, which had contributed to +establish for him so diabolical a character. Denis walked by his side, +with his countenance strained to inflation;--a miserable parody of that +sullen effrontery which marked the unshrinking miscreant beside him. +He had not heard of the ordeal, owing to the caution of Anthony: but, +notwithstanding his effort at indifference, a keen eye might have +observed the latent anxiety of a man who was habitually villanous, and +naturally timid. + +When this pair entered the crowd, a few secret glances, too rapid to be +noticed by the people, passed between them and their accomplices. Denis, +on seeing them present, took fresh courage, and looked with the heroism +of a blusterer upon those who stood about him, especially whenever he +found himself under the scrutinizing eye of his brother. Such was the +horror and detestation in which they were held, that on advancing into +the assembly, the persons on each side turned away, and openly avoided +them: eyes full of fierce hatred were bent on them vindictively, and +"curses, not loud, but deep," were muttered with indignation which +nothing but a divided state of feeling could repress within due limits. +Every glance, however, was paid back by Anthony with interest, from eyes +and black shaggy brows tremendously ferocious; and his curses, as they +rolled up half smothered from his huge chest, were deeper and more +diabolical by far than their own. He even jeered at them; but, however +disgusting his frown, there was something truly apalling in the dark +gleam of his scoff, which threw them at an immeasurable distance behind +him, in the power of displaying on the countenance the worst of human +passions. + +At length Mr. Nicholson, Father Farrell, and his curate, attended by the +Cassidys and their friends, issued from the house: two or three servants +preceded them, bearing a table and chairs for the magistrate and +priests, who, however, stood during the ceremony. When they entered one +of the rings before alluded to, the table and chairs were placed in the +centre of it, and Father Farrell, as possessing most influence over the +people, addressed them very impressively. + +"There are," said he, in conclusion, "persons in this crowd whom we +know to be guilty; but we will have an opportunity of now witnessing the +lengths to which crime, long indulged in, can carry them. To such people +I would say beware! for they know not the situation in which they are +placed." + +During all this time there was not the slightest allusion made to the +mysterious ordeal which had excited so much awe and apprehension among +them--a circumstance which occasioned many a pale, downcast face to +clear up, and resume its usual cheerful expression. The crowd now were +assembled round the ring, and every man on whom an imputation had been +fastened came forward, when called upon, to the table at which the +priests and magistrate stood uncovered. The form of the oath was framed +by the two clergymen, who, as they knew the reservations and evasions +commonest among such characters, had ingeniously contrived not to leave +a single loophole through which the consciences of those who belonged to +this worthy fraternity might escape. + +To those acquainted with Irish courts of justice there was nothing +particularly remarkable in the swearing. Indeed, one who stood among the +crowd might hear from those who were stationed at the greatest distance +from the table, such questions as the following:-- + +"Is the thing in it, Art?" + +"No; 'tis nothin' but the law Bible, the magistrate's own one." + +To this the querist would reply, with a satisfied nod of the head, +"Oh is that all? I heard they war to have it;" on which he would push +himself through the crowd until he reached the table, where he took his +oath as readily as another. + +"Jem Hartigan," said the magistrate to one of those persons, "are you to +swear?" + +"Faix, myself doesn't know, your honor; only that I hard them say that +the Cassidys mintioned our names along wid many other honest people; an' +one wouldn't, in that case, lie under a false report, your honor, +from any one, when we're as clear as them that never saw the light of +anything of the kind." + +The magistrate then put the book into his hand, and Jem, in return, +fixed his eye, with much apparent innocence, on his face: "Now, Jem +Hartigan," etc, etc., and the oath was accordingly administered. Jem put +the book to his mouth, with his thumb raised to an acute angle on the +back of it; nor was the smack by any means a silent one which he gave it +(his thumb). + +The magistrate set his ear with the air of a man who had experience in +discriminating such sounds. "Hartigan," said he, "you'll condescend to +kiss the book, sir, if you please: there's a hollowness in that smack, +my good fellow, that can't escape me." + +"Not kiss it, your honor? why, by this staff in my hand, if ever a man +kissed"-- + +"Silence! you impostor," said the curate; "I watched you closely, and am +confident your lips never touched the book." + +"My lips never touched the book!--Why, you know I'd be sarry to +conthradict either o' yez; but I was jist goin' to obsarve, wid +simmission, that my own lips ought to know best; an' don't you hear them +tellin' you that they did kiss it?" and he grinned with confidence in +their faces. + +"You double-dealing reprobate!" said the parish priest, "I'll lay my +whip across your jaws. I saw you, too, an' you did not kiss the book." + +"By dad, an' maybe I did not, sure enough," he replied: "any man may +make a mistake unknownst to himself; but I'd give my oath, an' be the +five crasses, I kissed it as sure as--however, a good thing's never +the worse o' bein' twice done, gintlemen; so here goes, jist to satisfy +yez;" and, placing the book near, his mouth, and altering his position +a little, he appeared to comply, though, on the contrary, he touched +neither it nor his thumb. "It's the same thing to me," he continued, +laying down the book with an air of confident assurance; "it's the same +thing to me if I kissed it fifty times over, which I'm ready to do if +that doesn't satisfy yez." + +As every man acquitted himself of the charges brought against him, +the curate immediately took down his name. Indeed, before the +clearing commenced, he requested that such as were to swear would stand +together within the ring, that, after having sworn, he might hand each +of them a certificate of the fact, which they appeared to think might be +serviceable to them, should they happen to be subsequently indicted for +the same crime in a court of justice. This, however, was only a plan to +keep them together for what was soon to take place. + +The detections of thumb kissing were received by those who had already +sworn, and by several in the outward crowd, with much mirth. It is but +justice, however, to the majority of those assembled to state, that they +appeared to entertain a serious opinion of the nature of the ceremony, +and no small degree of abhorrence against those who seemed to trifle +with the solemnity of an oath. + +Standing on the edge of the circle, in the innermost row, were Meehan +and his brother. The former eyed, with all the hardness of a stoic, the +successive individuals as they passed up to the table. His accomplices +had gone forward, and to the surprise of many who strongly suspected +them in the most indifferent manner "cleared" themselves in the trying +words of the oath, of all knowledge of, and participation in, the thefts +that had taken place. + +The grim visage of the elder Meehan was marked by a dark smile, scarcely +perceptible; but his brother, whose nerves were not so firm, appeared +somewhat confused and distracted by the imperturbable villany of the +perjurers. + +At length they were called up. Anthony advanced slowly but collectedly, +to the table, only turning his eye slightly about, to observe if his +brother accompanied him. "Denis," said he, "which of us will swear +first? you may;" for, as he doubted his brother's firmness, he was +prudent enough, should he fail, to guard against having the sin of +perjury to answer for, along with those demands which his country had to +make for his other crimes. Denis took the book, and cast a slight glance +at his brother as if for encouragement; their eyes met, and the darkened +brow of Anthony hinted at the danger of flinching in this crisis. The +tremor of his hand was not, perhaps, visible to any but Anthony, who, +however, did not overlook this circumstance. He held the book, but +raised not his eye to meet the looks of either the magistrate or the +priests; the color also left his face, as with shrinking lips he touched +the Word of God in deliberate falsehood. Having then laid it down, +Anthony received it with a firm grasp, and whilst his eye turned boldly +in contemptuous mockery upon those who presented it, he impressed it +with the kiss of a man whose depraved conscience seemed to goad him only +to evil. After "clearing" himself, he laid the Bible upon the table with +the affected air of a person who felt hurt at the imputation of theft, +and joined the rest with a frown upon his countenance, and a smothered +curse upon his lips. + +Just at this moment, a person from Cassidy's house laid upon the table a +small box covered with black cloth; and our readers will be surprised +to hear, that if fire had come down visibly from heaven, greater awe +and fear could not have been struck into their hearts, or depicted upon +their countenances. The casual conversation, and the commentaries upon +the ceremony they had witnessed, instantly settled into a most profound +silence, and every eye was turned towards it with an interest absolutely +fearful. "Let," said the curate, "none of those who have sworn depart +from within the ring, until they once more clear themselves upon this;" +and as he spoke, he held it up--"Behold," said he, "and tremble--behold +THE DONAGH!!!" + +A low murmur of awe and astonishment burst from the people in general, +whilst those within the ring, who with few exceptions, were the worst +characters in the parish, appeared ready to sink into the earth. Their +countenances, for the most part, paled into the condemned hue of guilt; +many of them became almost unable to stand; and altogether, the state +of trepidation and terror in which they stood, was strikingly wild and +extraordinary. + +The curate proceeded: "Let him now who is guilty depart; or if he +wishes, advance and challenge the awful penalty annexed to perjury upon +this! Who has ever been known to swear falsely upon the Donagh, without +being visited by a tremendous punishment, either on the spot, or in +twenty-four hours after his perjury? If we ourselves have not seen such +instances with our own eyes, it is because none liveth who dare incur +such dreadful penalty; but we have heard of those who did, and of +their awful punishment afterwards. Sudden death, madness, paralysis, +self-destruction, or the murder of some one dear to them, are the marks +by which perjury upon the Donagh is known and visited. Advance, now, ye +who are innocent, but let the guilty withdraw; for we do not desire to +witness the terrible vengeance which would attend a false oath upon the +Donagh. Pause, therefore, and be cautious! for if this grievous sin be +committed, a heavy punishment will fall, not only upon you, but upon the +parish in which it occurs!" + +The words of the priest sounded to the guilty like the death-sentence +of a judge. Before he had concluded, all, except Meehan and his brother, +and a few who were really innocent, had slunk back out of the circle +into the crowd. Denis, however, became pale as a corpse; and from time +to time wiped the large drops from his haggard brow: even Anthony's +cheek, despite of his natural callousness, was less red; his eyes +became disturbed; but by their influence, he contrived to keep Denis in +sufficient dread, to prevent him from mingling, like the rest, among +the people. The few who remained along with them advanced; and +notwithstanding their innocence, when the Donagh was presented and the +figure of Christ and the Twelve Apostles displayed in the solemn tracery +of its carving, they exhibited symptoms of fear. With trembling hands +they touched the Donagh, and with trembling lips kissed the crucifix, +in attestation of their guiltlessness of the charge with which they had +been accused. + +"Anthony and Denis Meehan, come forward," said the curate, "and declare +your innocence of the crimes with which you are charged by the Cassidys +and others." + +Anthony advanced; but Denis stood rooted to the ground; on perceiving +which, the former sternly returned a step or two, and catching him by +the arm with an admonitory grip, that could not easily be misunderstood, +compelled him to proceed with himself step by step to the table. Denis, +however, could feel the strong man tremble and perceive that although +he strove to lash himself into the energy of despair, and the utter +disbelief of all religious sanction, yet the trial before him called +every slumbering prejudice and apprehension of his mind into active +power. This was a death-blow to his own resolution, or, rather it +confirmed him in his previous determination not to swear on the Donagh, +except to acknowledge his guilt, which he could scarcely prevent himself +from doing, such was the vacillating state of mind to winch he felt +himself reduced. + +When Anthony reached the table, his huge form seemed to dilate by his +effort at maintaining the firmness necessary to support him in this +awful struggle between conscience and superstition on the one hand, and +guilt, habit, and infidelity on the other. He fixed his deep, +dilated eyes upon the Donagh, in a manner that betokened somewhat +of irresolution: his countenance fell; his color came and went, but +eventually settled in a flushed red; his powerful hands and arms +trembled so much, that he folded them to prevent his agitation from +being noticed; the grimness of his face ceased to be stern, while it +retained the blank expression of guilt; his temples swelled out with the +terrible play of their blood-vessels, his chest, too, heaved up and +down with the united pressure of guilt, and the tempest which shook him +within. At length he saw Denis's eye upon him, and his passions took a +new direction; he knit his brows at him with more than usual fierceness, +ground his teeth, and with a step and action of suppressed fury, he +placed his foot at the edge of the table, and bowing down under the +eye of God and man, took the awful oath on the mysterious Douagh, in a +falsehood! When it was finished, a feeble groan broke from his brother's +lips. Anthony bent his eye on him with a deadly glare; but Denis saw it +not. The shock was beyond his courage,--he had become insensible. + +Those who stood at the outskirts of the crowd, seeing Denis apparently +lifeless, thought he must have sworn falsely on the Donagh, and +exclaimed, "He's dead! gracious God! Denis Meehan's struck dead by the +Donagh! He swore in a lie, and is now a corpse!" Anthony paused, and +calmly surveyed him as he lay with his head resting upon the hands of +those who supported him. At this moment a silent breeze came over where +they stood; and, as the Donagh lay upon the table, the black ribbons +with which it was ornamented fluttered with a melancholy appearance, +that deepened the sensations of the people into something peculiarly +solemn and preternatural. Denis at length revived, and stared wildly +and vacantly about him. When composed sufficiently to distinguish and +recognize individual objects, he looked upon the gloomy visage and +threatening eye of his brother, and shrunk back with a terror almost +epileptical. "Oh!" he exclaimed, "save me! save me from that man, and +I'll discover all!" + +Anthony calmly folded one arm into his bosom, and his lip, quivered with +the united influence of hatred and despair. + +"Hould him," shrieked a voice, which proceeded from his daughter, "hould +my father or he'll murdher him! Oh! oh! merciful Heaven!" + +Ere the words were uttered she had made an attempt to clasp the arms of +her parent, whose motions she understood; but only in time to receive +from the pistol which he had concealed in his breast, the bullet aimed +at her uncle! She tottered! and the blood spouted out of her neck upon +her father's brows, who hastily put up his hand and wiped it away, for +it had actually blinded him. + +The elder Meehan was a tall man, and as he stood, elevated nearly a head +above the crowd, his grim brows red with his daughter's blood--which, +in attempting to wipe away, he had deeply streaked across his face--his +eyes shooting fiery gleams of his late resentment, mingled with the +wildness of unexpected horror--as he thus stood, it would be impossible +to contemplate a more revolting picture of that state to which the +principles that had regulated his life must ultimately lead, even in +this world. + +On perceiving what he had done, the deep working of his powerful frame +was struck into sudden stillness, and he turned his eyes on his bleeding +daughter, with a fearful perception of her situation. Now was the +harvest of his creed and crimes reaped in blood; and he felt that the +stroke which had fallen upon him was one of those by which God will +sometimes bare his arm and vindicate his justice. The reflection, +however, shook him not: the reality of his misery was too intense and +pervading, and grappled too strongly with his hardened and unbending +spirit, to waste its power upon a nerve or a muscle. It was abstracted, +and beyond the reach of bodily suffering. From the moment his daughter +fell, he moved not: his lips were half open with the conviction produced +by the blasting truth of her death, effected prematurely by his own +hand. + +Those parts of his face which had not been stained with her blood +assumed an ashy paleness, and rendered his countenance more terrific by +the contrast. Tall, powerful, and motionless, he appeared to the crowd, +glaring at the girl like a tiger anxious to join his offspring, yet +stunned with the shock of the bullet which has touched a vital part. +His iron-gray hair, as it fell in thick masses about his neck, was moved +slightly by the blast, and a lock which fell over his temple was blown +back with a motion rendered more distinct by his statue-like attitude, +immovable as death. + +A silent and awful gathering of the people around this impressive scene, +intimated their knowledge of what they considered to be a judicial +punishment annexed to perjury upon the Donagh. This relic lay on the +table, and the eyes of those stood within view of it, turned from +Anthony's countenance to it, and again back to his blood-stained visage, +with all the overwhelming influence of superstitious fear. Shudderings, +tremblings, crossings, and ejaculations marked their conduct and +feeling; for though the incident in itself was simply a fatal and +uncommon one, yet they considered it supernatural and miraculous. + +[Illustration: PAGE 899-- Have I murdhered my daughter?] + +At length a loud and agonizing cry burst from the lips of Meehan--"Oh, +God!--God of heaven an' earth!--have I murdhered my daughter?" and he +cast down the fatal weapon with a force which buried it some inches into +the wet clay. + +The crowd had closed upon Anne; but with the strength of a giant he +flung them aside, caught the girl in his arms, and pressed her bleeding +to his bosom. He gasped for breath: "Anne," said he, "Anne, I am without +hope, an' there's none to forgive me except you;--none at all: from God, +to the poorest of his creatures, I am hated an' cursed, by all, except +you! Don't curse me, Anne; don't curse me! Oh, isn't it enough, darlin', +that my sowl is now stained with your blood, along with my other crimes? +In hell, on earth, an' in heaven, there's none to forgive your father +but yourself!--none! none! Oh, what's comin' over me! I'm dizzy an' +shiverin'! How cowld the day's got of a sudden! Hould up, avourneen +machree! I was a bad man; but to you Anne, I was not as I was to every +one! Darlin', oh look at me with forgiveness in your eye, or any way +don't curse me! Oh! I'm far cowlder now! Tell me that you forgive me, +_acushla oge machree!--Manim asthee ha_, darlin', say it. I darn't look +to God! but oh! do you say the forgivin' word to your father before you +die!" + +"Father," said she, "I deserve this--it's only just: I have plotted with +that divilish Martin to betray them all, except yourself, an' to get +the reward; an' then we intended to go--an'--live at a distance--an' +in wickedness--where we--might not be known--he's at our house--let him +be--secured. Forgive me, father; you said so often that there was no +thruth in religion--that I began to--think so. Oh!--God! have mercy upon +me!" And with these words she expired. + +Meehan's countenance, on hearing this, was overspread with a ghastly +look of the most desolating agony: he staggered back, and the body of +his daughter, which he strove to hold, would have fallen from his +arms, had it not been caught by the bystanders. His eye sought out his +brother, but not in resentment. "Oh! she died, but didn't say 'I forgive +you!' Denis," said he, "Denis, bring me home--I'm sick--very sick--oh, +but it's eowld--everything's reeling--how cowld--cowld it is!"--and as +he uttered the last words, he shuddered, fell down in a fit of apoplexy, +never to rise again; and the bodies of his daughter and himself were +both waked and buried together. + +The result is brief. The rest of the gang were secured: Denis became +approver, by whose evidence they suffered that punishment decreed by law +to the crimes of which they had been guilty. The two events which I +we have just related, of course added to the supernatural fear and +reverence previously entertained for this terrible relic. It is still +used as an ordeal of expurgation, in cases of stolen property; and we +are not wrong in asserting, that many of those misguided creatures, who +too frequently hesitate not to swear falsely on the Word of God, would +suffer death itself sooner than commit a perjury on the Donagh. + +* * * * * + +The story of the Donagh, the Author has reason to believe, was the means +of first bringing this curious piece of antiquity into notice. There +is little to be added here to what is in the sketch, concerning its +influence over the people, and the use of it as a blessed relic sought +for by those who wished to apply a certain test of guilt or innocence +to such well known thieves as scrupled not to perjure themselves on +the Bible. For this purpose it was a perfect conscience-trap, the most +hardened miscreant never having been known to risk a false oath upon it. +Many singular anecdotes are related concerning it. + +The Author feels great pleasure in subjoining two very interesting +letters upon the subject--one from an accomplished scholar, the late +Rev. Dr. O'Beirne, master of the! distinguished school of Portora at +Enniskillen; the other from Sir William Betham, one of the soundest and +most learned of our Irish Antiquaries. Both gentlemen differ in their +opinion respecting the antiquity of the Donagh; and, as the author is +incompetent to decide between them, he gives their respective letters to +the public. + + +""Portora, August 15, 1832. + +""My Dear Carleton.--It is well you wrote to me about the Dona. Your +letter, which reached me this day, has proved that I was mistaken in +supposing that the promised drawing was no longer necessary. I had +imagined, that as you must have seen the Dona with Mr. Smith, any +communication from me on the subject must be superfluous. And now that +I have taken up my pen in compliance with your wish, what can I tell you +that you have not perhaps conveyed to yourself by ocular inspection, and +better than I can detail it? + +""I accompanied Mr. S. to Brookborough, and asked very particularly +of the old woman, late the possessor of the Dona, what she knew of its +history; but she could say nothing about it, only that it had belonged +to 'The Lord of Enniskillen.' This was the Fermanagh Maguire, who took +an active part in the shocking rebellion of 1641, and was subsequently +executed. His castle, the ruins of which are on the grounds of Portora, +was stormed during the wars of that miserable time. When I entered on my +inquiries for you, I anticipated much in the way of tradition, which, I +hoped, might prove amusing at least; but disappointment met me on every +hand. The old woman could not even detail distinctly how the Dona had +come into her possession: it was brought into her family, she said, by a +priest. The country people had imagined wonders relative to the contents +of the box. The chief treasure it was supposed to contain was a lock of +the Virgin Mary's hair!!! + +""After much inquiry, I received the following vague detail from a +person in this country; and let me remark, by the by, that though the +possession of the Dona was matter of boast to the Maguires, yet I could +not gain the slightest information respecting it from even the most +intelligent of the name. But now for the detail:-- + +""Donagh O'Hanlon, an inhabitant of the upper part of this country +(Fermanagh), went, about 600 years ago (longer than which time, in the +opinion of a celebrated antiquary, the kind of engraving on it could +not have been made), on a pious pilgrimage to Rome. His Holiness of the +Vatican, whose name has escaped the recollection of the person who gave +this information, as a reward for this supererogatory journey, presented +him with the Dona. As soon as Donagh returned, the Dona was placed in +the monastery of Aughadurcher (now Aughalurcher). But at the time, when +Cromwell was in this country, the monastery was destroyed, and this +_Ark_ of the _Covenant_ hid by some of the faithful at a small lake, +named Lough Eye, between Lisbellaw and Tempo. It was removed thence +when peace was restored, and again placed in some one of the neighboring +chapels, when, as before in Aughalurcher, the oaths were administered +with all the superstition that a depraved imagination could, invent, as +"that their thighs might rot off," "that they might go mad," etc., etc. + +""When Kings James and William made their appearance, it was again +concealed in Largy, an old Castle at Sir H. Brooke's deer-park. Father +Antony Maguire, a priest of the Roman Church, dug it up from under the +stairs in this old castle, after the battle of the Boyne, deposited it +in a chapel, and it was used as before. + +""After Father Antony's death it fell into the possession of his niece, +who took it over to the neighborhood of Florence-court. But the Maguires +were not satisfied that a thing so sacred should depart from the family, +and at their request it was brought back." + +"For the confirmation of the former part of this account, the informant +refers you to Sir James Ware. I have not Ware's book, and cannot +therefore tell you how much of this story, is given by him, or whether +any. In my opinion there is nothing detailed by him at all bearing +on the subject. The latter part of this story rests, we are told, on +tradition. + +"As I confess myself not at all versed in Irish antiquities, it may +appear somewhat presumptuous in me to venture an opinion respecting this +box and its contents, which is, I understand, opposed to that of our +spirited and intelligent antiquary, Sir Wm. Betham. I cannot persuade +myself that either the box or the contained MSS. were of such an age as +he claims for them. And, first, of the box:-- + +"At present the MSS. are contained in a wooden box; the wood is, I +believe, yew. It cannot be pronounced, I think, with any certainty, +whether the wooden box was originally part of the shrine of the precious +MSS. It is very rude in its construction, and has not a top or lid. +Indeed it appears to me to have been a coarse botched-up thing to +receive the MSS. after the original box, which was made of brass, had +fallen to pieces. + +"The next thing that presents itself to us is the remnant of a brass +box, washed with Silver, and rudely ornamented with tracery. The two +ends and the front are all that remain of the brass box. + +"You may then notice what was evidently an addition of later times, +the highly ornamented gilt-silver work, made fast on the remains of the +brass box, and the chased compartments, which seem to have formed the +top or lid of the box. But, as you have seen the whole, I need not +perhaps have troubled you with this description. I shall only direct +your attention to the two inscriptions. In the chasing you will see that +they are referred to their _supposed_ places. + +"The upper inscription, when deciphered, is-- + +"'Johannes: O'Karbri: Comorbanus: S. Tignacii: Pmisit.' For S. +Tigcnaii I would conjecture St. Ignacii: P, I should conjecture to +be Presbyterus. On this I. should be very glad to have Sir William's +opinion. I cannot imagine, if P stands part of a compound with misit, +what it can mean. I would read and translate it thus--'John O'Carbery, +coadjutor, priest, of the order of St. Ignatius, sent it.' + +"This inscription, is on a narrow slip of silver, and is presumed to +have formed part of the under edge of the upper part of the back of the +box. The lower inscription is--; + +"'_Johannes O'Barrdan fabricavit._' + +"This also is on a slip of silver, and appears to have fitted into a +space on the upper surface which is supposed to have been the top, and +to have lain in between the two square compartments on the left hand: +this is marked in the drawing. I have expressed myself here in the +language of doubt, for the box is all in confusion. + +"Now, on the inscriptions, I would say, that they indicate to me a date +much later than some gentlemen who have seen the box are willing to +ascribe to it. In the island of Devenish, in our lake (Lough Erne), is +an inscription, that was discovered in the ruins (still standing) of +a priory, that was built there A. D. 1449. The characters in this +inscription are much more remote from the Roman character in use among +us than those used in the inscriptions on the box. The letters on +the box bespeak a later period, when English cultivation had begun to +produce some effect in our island, and the Roman character was winning +its way into general use. I shall probably be able to let you see the +Devenish inscription, and ajuxta position of it and the others will +satisfy you, I think, on this point. In my opinion, then, the box, with +all its ornaments, must have been made at some time since the year 1449. +I cannot think it reasonable to suppose that an inscription, containing +many letters like the Roman characters, should be more ancient than +one not only having fewer letters resembling them, but also having the +letters that differ differing essentially." + +Now for the MSS. + +"I am deficient in antiquarian lore: this I have already confessed; but +perhaps I want also the creative fancy and devoted faith of the genuine +antiquary. I cannot, for example, persuade myself, that a MS. written +in a clear, uniform, small character of the Roman form, could have been +written in remote times, when there is reason to think that MSS. were +written in uncial characters only, without stops, and with few or no +divisions into words, sentences, or paragraphs. The palimpsest MS. +examined by Dr. Barrett is in uncial characters, and is referred by him +to the 6th or 7th century. _Cic. de Republica_, published by Angelo Mai, +is assigned to much the same period. Small letters, and the distinctions +above mentioned, were the invention of later times. I cannot therefore +persuade myself that this MS. is of so early an age as some would +ascribe to it, though I will not take it upon me to assign the precise +time in which, it was written. The characters are decidedly and +distinctly those now called the Roman: they have not many abbreviations, +as far as I could judge, and they are written with much clearness +and regularity. They are not the _literae cursivae_, or those used in +writing for the sake of facility and connection: they seem rather formed +more in imitation, of printed letters. SECUNDUM--This imperfect attempt +to present one of the words, will explain my meaning. But I had better +not weary you any more with my crude notions. I shall be very glad to +hear your opinion, or that of Sir William Betham, to whom I should bow +with all the respect due to talent and worth. I must avow my distrust +of Irish antiquities; yet, allow me to add, that there is no man more +willing to be converted from my heresy, if you would call it so, than + +"My dear Carleton, + +"Your friend and servant, + +"A. O'BEIRNE." + + +"Stradbrook House, October, 1832. + +"Dear Sir,--I have read Dr. O'Beirne's important letter on the Dona: the +account he has collected of its recent history is full of interest, and +for the most part, I have no doubt correct. His speculations respecting +its antiquity I cannot give my adhesion to, not feeling a doubt myself +on the subject. When I have time to investigate it more fully, I am +satisfied that this box, like the others, of which accounts have +already been published, will be found mentioned in the Irish Annals. The +inscriptions, however, fully identify the MS. and the box, and show that +antiquaries, from the execution of the workmanship and figures on these +interesting reliques, often underrate their antiquity--a fault which the +world are little inclined to give them credit for, and which they fall +into from an anxiety to err on what they consider the side which +is least likely to produce the smile of contempt or the sneer of +incredulity, forgetting that it is the sole business of an antiquarian +and historian to speak the truth, disregarding even contempt for so +doing. + +"I had been somewhat lengthy in my description of the Dona, and from +habit, entered into a minute account of all its parts, quite forgetting +that you, perhaps, do not possess an appetite for antiquarian detail, +and therefore might be better pleased to have a general outline than +such a recital. I therefore proceed to give it as briefly as possible, +not, however, omitting any material points. + +"The Irish word Domnach, which is pronounced Dona, means the Lord's day, +or the first day in the week, sanctified or consecrated to the service +of the Lord. It is also in that sense used for a house, church, or +chapel. Donayhmore means the great church or chapel dedicated to God. +This box, being holy, as containing the Gospels, and having the crucifix +thereon, was dedicated or consecrated to the service of God. Like the +Caah, the Meeshach, and Dhimma's box, it is of brass, covered with +plates of silver, and resembles the two former in having a box of yew +inside, which was the original case of the MS. and became venerated so +much, on that account, as to be deemed worthy of being inclosed with +it in the shrine made by permission of John O'Carberry, Abbot of +Clonmacnois, in the 14th century. + +"The top of the Dona is divided by a cross, on the lower arm of which is +a figure of the Savior; over his head is a shield, divided _per pale_, +between two crystal settings; on the dexter is a hand holding a scourge +or whip of three thongs, and on a chief a ring; on the sinister, on +a chief the same charge and three crucifixion nails. In the first +compartment, or quarter of the cross, are representations of St. +Columbkill, St. Bridget, and St. Patrick. In the second, a bishop +pierced with two arrows, and two figures of St. Peter and St. Paul. In +the third, the Archangel Michael treading on the dragon, and the Virgin +Mary and the infant Jesus. In the fourth, St. Tigemach handing to his +successor, St. Sinellus, the Dona; and a female figure, perhaps Mary +Magdalen. + +"The front of the Dona is ornamented with three crystal settings, +surmounted by grotesque figures of animals. Between these are four +horsemen with swords drawn, in full speed. + +"The right hand end has a figure of St. Tigemach, and St. John the +Baptist. The left hand end a figure of St. Catherine with her wheel. + +"The Dona is nine inches and a half long, seven wide, and not quite four +thick. + +"So far I have been enabled to describe the Dona from the evidently +accurate and well executed drawings you were so good as to present to +me. Why the description is less particular than it should have been, I +shall take another opportunity of explaining to you. + +"There are three inscriptions on the Dona: one on a scroll from the hand +of the figure of the Baptist, of ECCE AGNUS DEI. The two others are on +plates of silver, but their exact position on the box is not marked +in the drawing, but may be guessed by certain places which the plates +exactly fit. "The first is-- + +"JOHANNES: OBARRDAN: FABRICAVIT. + +"The second-- + +"JOHS: OKARBRI: COMORBANVS: S. TIGNACH: PMISIT." + +"'_John O'Barrdan made this box by the permission of John O'Carbry, +successor of St. Tigermach_.' + +"St. Tierny, or St. Tigernach was third Bishop of Clogher, having +succeeded St. Maccartin in the year 506. In the list of bishops, St. +Patrick is reckoned the first, and founder of the see. Tigernach died +the 4th of April, 548. + +"John O'Carbry was abbott of Clones, or Clounish, in the County of +Monoghan, and as such was _comorb_, or _corb_*--i. e., successor--of +Tigernach, who was founder of the abbey and removed the episcopal seat +from Clogher to Clounish. Many of the abbots Were also bishops of the +see. He died in 1353. How long he was abbot does not appear; but the age +of the outside covering of the Dona is fixed to the 14th century. + + * All the successors of the founder saints were called + by the Irish _comorbs_ or _corbs_. The reader Will perceive + that O'Carbry was a distant but not we immediate successor + of St. Tigernach. + +"Since the foregoing was written I have seen the Dona, which was +exhibited at the last meeting of the Royal Irish Academy. it has been +put together at a guess, but different from the drawing. There is inside +O'Barrdan's case another of silver plates some centuries older, and +inside that the yew box, which originally contained the manuscripts, now +so united by damp as to be apparently inseparable, and nearly illegible; +for they have lost the color of vellum, and are quite black, and very +much decayed. The old Irish version of the New Testament is well worthy +of being edited; it is, I conceive, the oldest Latin version extant, and +varies much from the Vulgate or Jerome's. + +"The MS. inclosed in the yew box appears from the two membranes handed +me by your friend Mr. ------, to be a copy of the Gospels--at least +those membranes were part of the two first membranes of the Gospel of +St. Matthew, and, I would say, written in the 5th or 6th century; were, +probably, the property of St. Tigernach himself, and passed most likely +to the abbots of Clounish, his successors, as an heirloom, until it fell +into the hands of the Maguires, the most powerful of the princes of the +country now comprising the diocese of Clogher. Dr. O'Beirne's letter I +trust you will publish. I feel much indebted to the gentleman for his +courteous expressions towards me, and shall be most happy to have the +pleasure of being personally known to him. + +"You must make allowance for the hasty sketch which is here given. +The advanced state of your printing would not allow me time for a more +elaborate investigation. + +"Believe me, my dear sir, + +"Very sincerely yours, + +"W. BETHAM." + + +We cannot close the illustrations of this ancient and venerable relic +without adding an extract from a most interesting and authentic history +of it contributed by our great Irish antiquarian, George Petrie, Esq., +R.H.A., M.R.I.A, to the 18th vol. of the Transactions of the Royal Irish +Academy, together with an engraving of it taken from a drawing made by +the same accomplished artist. + +"I shall endeavor to arrange these evidences in consecutive order. + +"It is of importance to prove that this _cumdach_, or reliquary, has +been from time immemorial popularly known by the name of _Domnach_, or, +as it is pronounced, Donagh, a word derived from the Latin _Dominicus_. +This fact is proved by a recent popular tale of very great power, by Mr. +Carleton, called the 'Donagh,' in which the superstitious uses to which +this reliquary has been long applied, are ably exhibited, and made +subservient to the interests of the story. It is also particularly +described under this name by the Rev. John Groyes in his account of the +parish of Errigal-Keeroch in the third volume of Shaw Mason's Parochial +Survey, page 163, though, as the writer states, it was not actually +preserved in that parish. + +"2. The inscriptions on the external case leave no doubt that the +Domnach belonged to the monastery of Clones, or see of Clogher. The John +O'Karbri, the _Comharb_, or successor of St. Tighernach, recorded, +in one of those inscriptions as the person at whose cost, or by whose +permission, the outer ornamental case was made, was, according to the +Annals of the Pour Masters, Abbot of Clones, and died in the year 1353. +He is properly called in that inscription _Comorbanus_, or successor of +Tighernach, who was the first Abbot and Bishop of the Church of Clones, +to which place, after the death of St. Mac-Carthen, in the year 506, +he removed the see of Clogher, having erected a new church, which he +dedicated to the apostles Peter and Paul. St. Tighernach, according to +all our ancient authorities, died in the year 548. + +"3. It appears from a fragment of an ancient life of St. Mac-Carthen, +preserved by Colgan, that a remarkable reliquary was given by St Patrick +to that saint when he placed him over the see of Clogher. + +"'Et addidit, [Patricius] Accipo, inquit, baculum itineris mei, quo +ego membra mea sustento et scrinium in quo de sanctorum Apostolorum +reliquiis, et de sanctae Mariae capillis, et sancta Grace Domini, et +sepulchro ejus, et aliis reliquiis sanctis continentur. Quibus dictis +dimisit cum osculo pacis paterna fultum benedictione.'--_Colgan, Vit. S. +Macaerthenni_ (24 Mart.) Acta SS. p. 738. + +"From this passage we learn one great-cause of the sanctity in which +this reliquary was held, and of the uses of the several recesses for +reliques which it presents. It also explains the historical _rilievo_ +on the top--the figure of St. Patrick presenting the Domnach to St. +Mac-Carthen. + +"4. In Jocelyn's Life of St. Patrick (cap. 143) we have also a notice to +the same effect, but in which the Domnach is called a _Chrismatorium_, +and the relics are not specified--in all probability because they were +not then appended to it. + +"In these authorities there is evidently much appearance of the Monkish +frauds of the middle ages; but still they are evidences of the tradition +of the country that such a gift had been made by Patrick to Mac-Carthen. +And as we advance higher in chronological authorities, we find the +notice of this gift stripped of much of its acquired garb of fiction, +and related with more of the simplicity of truth. + +"5. In the life of St. Patrick called the Tripartite, usually ascribed +to St. Evin, an author of the seventh century, and which, even in its +present interpolated state, is confessedly prior to the tenth, there +is the following remarkable passage (as translated by Colgan from the +original Irish) relative to the gift of the Domnach from the Apostle of +Ireland to St. Mac-Carthen, in which it is expressly described under the +very same appellation which it still bears. + +"' Aliquantis ergo evolutis diebus _Mac-Caertennum_, sive _Caerthennum_ +Episcopuin prsefecit sedi Episcopali Clocherensi, ab Ardmacha regni +Metropoli haud multum distanti: et apud eum reliquit argenteum quoddam +reliquiarium _Domnach-airgidh_ vulgo nuncupatum; quod viro Dei, in +Hiberniam venienti, ccelitus missum erat.'--_VII. Vita S. Patricii_, +Lib. in. cap. 3, _Tr. Th._ p. 149. + +"This passage is elsewhere given by Colgan, with a slight change of +words in the translation. + +"In this version, which is unquestionably prior to all the others, +we find the Domnach distinguished by the appellation of _Airgid_--an +addition which was applicable only to its more ancient or silver plated +case, and which could not with propriety be applied to its more recent +covering, which in its original state had the appearance of being of +gold. + +"On these evidences--and more might probably be procured if time had +allowed--we may, I think, with tolerable certainty, rest the following +conclusions: + +"1. That the Domnach is the identical reliquary given by St. Patrick to +St. Mac-Carthen. + +"2. As the form of the cumdach indicates that it was intended to receive +a book, and as the relics are all attached to the outer and the least +ancient cover, it is manifest that the use of the box as a reliquary was +not its original intention. The natural inference therefore is, that +it contained a manuscript which had belonged to St. Patrick; and us a +manuscript copy of the Gospels, apparently of that early age, is found +within it, there is every reason to believe it to be that identical +one for which the box was originally made, and which the Irish apostle +probably brought with him on his mission into this country. It is +indeed, not merely possible, but even probable, that the existence of +this manuscript was unknown to the Monkish biographers of St. Patrick +and St. Mac-Carthen, who speak of the box as a scrinium or reliquary +only. The outer cover was evidently not made to open; and some, at +least, of the relics attached to it were not introduced into Ireland +before the twelfth century. It will be remembered also that no +superstition was and is more common in connection with the ancient +cumdachs than the dread of their being opened. + +"These conclusions will, I think, be strengthened considerably by the +facts, that the word _Domnach_, as applied either to a church, as usual, +or to a reliquary, as in this instance, is only to be found in our +histories in connection with St. Patrick's time; and, that in the latter +sense--its application to a reliquary--it only once occurs in all our +ancient authorities, namely, in the single reference to the gift to +St. Mac-Carthen; no other reliquary in Ireland, as far as can be +ascertained, having ever been known by that appellation. And it should +also be observed, that all the ancient reliques preserved in Ireland, +whether bells, books, croziers, or other remains, have invariably and +without any single exception, been preserved and venerated only as +appertaining to the original founders of the churches to which they +belonged." + +There is very little to be added, except that the Donagh was purchased +for a few pounds from the old woman who owned it, by Mr. George Smith, +of the house of Hodges and Smith, of College Green, Dublin, who very +soon sold it for a large sum to the Honorable Mr. Westenra, in whose +possession I presume it now is. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; +The Donagh, by William Carleton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEDGE SCHOOL *** + +***** This file should be named 16014.txt or 16014.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/0/1/16014/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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