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diff --git a/15936.txt b/15936.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..010f2c6 --- /dev/null +++ b/15936.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1171 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sad Shepherd, by Henry Van Dyke + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Sad Shepherd + +Author: Henry Van Dyke + +Release Date: May 29, 2005 [EBook #15936] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SAD SHEPHERD *** + + + + +Produced by Michael Gray + + + + + +THE SAD SHEPHERD + +[Illustration] + +THE SAD SHEPHERD + + +A CHRISTMAS STORY +BY +HENRY VAN DYKE + +NEW YORK +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS +1911 + + +Copyright, 1911, by Charles Scribner's Sons + + +Published October, 1911 + + +THE SAD SHEPHERD + + + + +I + +DARKNESS + + +Out of the Valley of Gardens, where a film of new-fallen snow lay +smooth as feathers on the breast of a dove, the ancient Pools of +Solomon looked up into the night sky with dark, tranquil eyes, +wide-open and passive, reflecting the crisp stars and the small, round +moon. The full springs, overflowing on the hill-side, melted their way +through the field of white in winding channels; and along their course +the grass was green even in the dead of winter. + +But the sad shepherd walked far above the friendly valley, in a region +where ridges of gray rock welted and scarred the back of the earth, +like wounds of half-forgotten strife and battles long ago. The solitude +was forbidding and disquieting; the keen air that searched the wanderer +had no pity in it; and the myriad glances of the night were curiously +cold. + +His flock straggled after him. The sheep, weather-beaten and dejected, +followed the path with low heads nodding from side to side, as if they +had traveled far and found little pasture. The black, lop-eared goats +leaped upon the rocks, restless and ravenous, tearing down the tender +branches and leaves of the dwarf oaks and wild olives. They reared up +against the twisted trunks and crawled and scrambled among the boughs. +It was like a company of gray downcast friends and a troop of merry +little black devils following the sad shepherd afar off. + +He walked looking on the ground, paying small heed to them. Now and +again, when the sound of pattering feet and panting breath and the +rustling and rending among the copses fell too far behind, he drew out +his shepherd's pipe and blew a strain of music, shrill and plaintive, +quavering and lamenting through the hollow night. He waited while the +troops of gray and black scuffled and bounded and trotted near to him. +Then he dropped the pipe into its place again and strode forward, +looking on the ground. + +The fitful, shivery wind that rasped the hill-top, fluttered the rags +of his long mantle of Tyrian blue, torn by thorns and stained by +travel. The rich tunic of striped silk beneath it was worn thin, and +the girdle about his loins had lost all its ornaments of silver and +jewels. His curling hair hung down dishevelled under a turban of fine +linen, in which the gilt threads were frayed and tarnished; and his +shoes of soft leather were broken by the road. On his brown fingers the +places of the vanished rings were still marked in white skin. He +carried not the long staff nor the heavy nail-studded rod of the +shepherd, but a slender stick of carved cedar battered and scratched by +hard usage, and the handle, which must once have been of precious +metal, was missing. + +He was a strange figure for that lonely place and that humble +occupation-a branch of faded beauty from some royal garden tossed by +rude winds into the wilderness-a pleasure craft adrift, buffeted and +broken, on rough seas. + +But he seemed to have passed beyond caring. His young face was frayed +and threadbare as his garments. The splendor of the moonlight flooding +the wild world meant as little to him as the hardness of the rugged +track which he followed. He wrapped his tattered mantle closer around +him, and strode ahead, looking on the ground. + +As the path dropped from the summit of the ridge toward the Valley of +Mills and passed among huge broken rocks, three men sprang at him from +the shadows. He lifted his stick, but let it fall again, and a strange +ghost of a smile twisted his face as they gripped him and threw him +down. + +"You are rough beggars," he said. "Say what you want, you are welcome +to it." + +"Your money, dog of a courtier," they muttered fiercely; "give us your +golden collar, Herod's hound, quick, or you die!" + +"The quicker the better," he answered, closing his eyes. + +The bewildered flock of sheep and goats, gathered in a silent ring, +stood at gaze while the robbers fumbled over their master. + +"This is a stray dog," said one, "he has lost his collar, there is not +even the price of a mouthful of wine on him. Shall we kill him and +leave him for the vultures?" "What have the vultures done for us," said +another, "that we should feed them? Let us take his cloak and drive off +his flock, and leave him to die in his own time." + +With a kick and a curse they left him. He opened his eyes and lay quiet +for a moment, with his twisted smile, watching the stars. + +"You creep like snails," he said. "I thought you had marked my time +tonight. But not even that is given to me for nothing. I must pay for +all, it seems." + +Far away, slowly scattering and receding, he heard the rustling and +bleating of his frightened flock as the robbers, running and shouting, +tried to drive them over the hills. Then he stood up and took the +shepherd's pipe, a worthless bit of reed, from the breast of his tunic. +He blew again that plaintive, piercing air, sounding it out over the +ridges and distant thickets. It seemed to have neither beginning nor +end; a melancholy, pleading tune that searched forever after something +lost. + +While he played, the sheep and the goats, slipping away from their +captors by roundabout ways, hiding behind the laurel bushes, following +the dark gullies, leaping down the broken cliffs, came circling back to +him, one after another; and as they came, he interrupted his playing, +now and then, to call them by name. When they were nearly all +assembled, he went down swiftly toward the lower valley, and they +followed him, panting. At the last crook of the path on the steep +hillside a straggler came after him along the cliff. He looked up and +saw it outlined against the sky. Then he saw it leap, and slip, and +fall beyond the path into a deep cleft. + +"Little fool," he said, "fortune is kind to you! You have escaped from +the big trap of life. What? You are crying for help? You are still in +the trap? Then I must go down to you, little fool, for I am a fool too. +But why I must do it, I know no more than you know." + +He lowered himself quickly and perilously into the cleft, and found the +creature with its leg broken and bleeding. It was not a sheep but a +young goat. He had no cloak to wrap it in, but he took off his turban +and unrolled it, and bound it around the trembling animal. Then he +climbed back to the path and strode on at the head of his flock, +carrying the little black kid in his arms. + +There were houses in the Valley of the Mills; and in some of them +lights were burning; and the drone of the mill-stones, where the women +were still grinding, came out into the night like the humming of drowsy +bees. As the women heard the pattering and bleating of the flock, they +wondered who was passing so late. One of them, in a house where there +was no mill but many lights, came to the door and looked out laughing, +her face and bosom bare. + +But the sad shepherd did not stay. His long shadow and the confused +mass of lesser shadows behind him drifted down the white moonlight, +past the yellow bars of lamplight that gleamed from the doorways. It +seemed as if he were bound to go somewhere and would not delay. + +Yet with all his haste to be gone, it was plain that he thought little +of where he was going. For when he came to the foot of the valley, +where the paths divided, he stood between them staring vacantly, +without a desire to turn him this way or that. The imperative of choice +halted him like a barrier. The balance of his mind hung even because +both scales were empty. He could act, he could go, for his strength was +untouched; but he could not choose, for his will was broken within him. + +The path to the left went up toward the little town of Bethlehem, with +huddled roofs and walls in silhouette along the double-crested hill. It +was dark and forbidding as a closed fortress. The sad shepherd looked +at it with indifferent eyes; there was nothing there to draw him. The +path to the right wound through rock-strewn valleys toward the Dead +Sea. But rising out of that crumpled wilderness, a mile or two away, +the smooth white ribbon of a chariot-road lay upon the flank of a +cone-shaped mountain and curled in loops toward its peak. There the +great cone was cut squarely off, and the levelled summit was capped by a +palace of marble, with round towers at the corners and flaring beacons +along the walls; and the glow of an immense fire, hidden in the central +court-yard, painted a false dawn in the eastern sky. All down the +clean-cut mountain slopes, on terraces and blind arcades, the lights +flashed from lesser pavilions and pleasure-houses. + +It was the secret orchard of Herod and his friends, their +trysting-place with the spirits of mirth and madness. They called it the +Mountain of the Little Paradise. Rich gardens were there; and the cool +water from the Pools of Solomon plashed in the fountains; and trees of +the knowledge of good and evil fruited blood-red and ivory-white above +them; and smooth, curving, glistening shapes, whispering softly of +pleasure, lay among the flowers and glided behind the trees. All this +was now hidden in the dark. Only the strange bulk of the mountain, a +sharp black pyramid girdled and crowned with fire, loomed across the +night-a mountain once seen never to be forgotten. + +The sad shepherd remembered it well. He looked at it with the eyes of a +child who has been in hell. It burned him from afar. Turning neither to +the right nor to the left, he walked without a path straight out upon +the plain of Bethlehem, still whitened in the hollows and on the +sheltered side of its rounded hillocks by the veil of snow. + +He faced a wide and empty world. To the west in sleeping Bethlehem, to +the east in flaring Herodium, the life of man was infinitely far away +from him. Even the stars seemed to withdraw themselves against the +blue-black of the sky. They diminished and receded till they were like +pin-holes in the vault above him. The moon in mid-heaven shrank into a +bit of burnished silver, hard and glittering, immeasurably remote. The +ragged, inhospitable ridges of Tekoa lay stretched in mortal slumber +along the horizon, and between them he caught a glimpse of the sunken +Lake of Death, darkly gleaming in its deep bed. There was no movement, +no sound, on the plain where he walked, except the soft-padding feet of +his dumb, obsequious flock. + +He felt an endless isolation strike cold to his heart, against which he +held the limp body of the wounded kid, wondering the while, with a +half-contempt for his own foolishness, why he took such trouble to save +a tiny scrap of the worthless tissue which is called life. + +Even when a man does not know or care where he is going, if he steps +onward he will get there. In an hour or more of walking over the plain +the sad shepherd came to a sheep-fold of gray stones with a rude tower +beside it. The fold was full of sheep, and at the foot of the tower a +little fire of thorns was burning, around which four shepherds were +crouching, wrapped in their thick woollen cloaks. + +As the stranger approached they looked up, and one of them rose quickly +to his feet, grasping his knotted club. But when they saw the flock +that followed the sad shepherd, they stared at each other and said: "It +is one of us, a keeper of sheep. But how comes he here in this raiment? +It is what men wear in kings' houses." + +"No," said the one who was standing, "it is what they wear when they +have been thrown out of them. Look at the rags. He may be a thief and a +robber with his stolen flock." + +"Salute him when he comes near," said the oldest shepherd. "Are we not +four to one? We have nothing to fear from a ragged traveller. Speak him +fair. It is the will of God-and it costs nothing." + +"Peace be with you, brother," cried the youngest shepherd; "may your +mother and father be blessed." + +"May your heart be enlarged," the stranger answered, "and may all your +families be more blessed than mine, for I have none." + +"A homeless man," said the old shepherd, "has either been robbed by his +fellows, or punished by God." + +"I do not know which it was," answered the stranger; "the end is the +same, as you see." + +"By your speech you come from Galilee. Where are you going? What are +you seeking here?" + +"I was going nowhere, my masters; but it was cold on the way there, and +my feet turned to your fire." + +"Come then, if you are a peaceable man, and warm your feet with us. +Heat is a good gift; divide it and it is not less. But you shall have +bread and salt too, if you will." + +"May your hospitality enrich you. I am your unworthy guest. But my +flock?" + +"Let your flock shelter by the south wall of the fold: there is good +picking there and no wind. Come you and sit with us." + +So they all sat down by the fire; and the sad shepherd ate of their +bread, but sparingly, like a man to whom hunger brings a need but no +joy in the satisfying of it; and the others were silent for a proper +time, out of courtesy. Then the oldest shepherd spoke: + +"My name is Zadok the son of Eliezer, of Bethlehem. I am the chief +shepherd of the flocks of the Temple, which are before you in the fold. +These are my sister's sons, Jotham, and Shama, and Nathan: their father +Elkanah is dead; and but for these I am a childless man." + +"My name," replied the stranger, "is Ammiel the son of Jochanan, of the +city of Bethsaida, by the Sea of Galilee, and I am a fatherless man." + +"It is better to be childless than fatherless," said Zadok, "yet it is +the will of God that children should bury their fathers. When did the +blessed Jochanan die?" + +"I know not whether he be dead or alive. It is three years since I +looked upon his face or had word of him." + +"You are an exile then? he has cast you off?" + +"It was the other way," said Ammiel, looking on the ground. + +At this the shepherd Shama, who had listened with doubt in his face, +started up in anger. "Pig of a Galilean," he cried, "despiser of +parents! breaker of the law! When I saw you coming I knew you for +something vile. Why do you darken the night for us with your presence? +You have reviled him who begot you. Away, or we stone you!" + +Ammiel did not answer or move. + +The twisted smile passed over his bowed face again as he waited to know +the shepherds' will with him, even as he had waited for the robbers. +But Zadok lifted his hand. + +"Not so hasty, Shama-ben-Elkanah. You also break the law by judging a +man unheard. The rabbis have told us that there is a tradition of the +elders-a rule as holy as the law itself-that a man may deny his father +in a certain way without sin. It is a strange rule, and it must be very +holy or it would not be so strange. But this is the teaching of the +elders: a son may say of anything for which his father asks him-a +sheep, or a measure of corn, or a field, or a purse of silver-'it is +Corban, a gift that I have vowed unto the Lord;' and so his father +shall have no more claim upon him. Have you said 'Corban' to your +father, Ammiel-ben-Jochanan? Have you made a vow unto the Lord?" + +"I have said 'Corban,'" answered Ammiel, lifting his face, still +shadowed by that strange smile, "but it was not the Lord who heard my +vow." + +"Tell us what you have done," said the old man sternly, "for we will +neither judge you, nor shelter you, unless we hear your story." + +"There is nothing in it," replied Ammiel indifferently. "It is an old +story. But if you are curious you shall hear it. Afterward you shall +deal with me as you will." + +So the shepherds, wrapped in their warm cloaks, sat listening with +grave faces and watchful, unsearchable eyes, while Ammiel in his +tattered silk sat by the sinking fire of thorns and told his tale with +a voice that had no room for hope or fear-a cool, dead voice that spoke +only of things ended. + + + + +II. + +NIGHTFIRE + + +"In my father's house I was the second son. My brother was honored and +trusted in all things. He was a prudent man and profitable to the +household. All that he counselled was done, all that he wished he had. +My place was a narrow one. There was neither honor nor joy in it, for +it was filled with daily tasks and rebukes. No one cared for me. My +mother sometimes wept when I was rebuked. Perhaps she was disappointed +in me. But she had no power to make things better. I felt that I was a +beast of burden, fed only in order that I might be useful; and the dull +life irked me like an ill-fitting harness. There was nothing in it. + +"I went to my father and claimed my share of the inheritance. He was +rich. He gave it to me. It did not impoverish him and it made me free. +I said to him 'Corban,' and shook the dust of Bethsaida from my feet. + +"I went out to look for mirth and love and joy and all that is pleasant +to the eyes and sweet to the taste. If a god made me, thought I, he +made me to live, and the pride of life was strong in my heart and in my +flesh. My vow was offered to that well-known god. I served him in +Jerusalem, in Alexandria, in Rome, for his altars are everywhere and +men worship him openly or in secret. + +"My money and youth made me welcome to his followers, and I spent them +both freely as if they could never come to an end. I clothed myself in +purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. The wine of +Cyprus and the dishes of Egypt and Syria were on my table. My dwelling +was crowded with merry guests. They came for what I gave them. Their +faces were hungry and their soft touch was like the clinging of +leeches. To them I was nothing but money and youth; no longer a beast +of burden-a beast of pleasure. There was nothing in it. + +"From the richest fare my heart went away empty, and after the wildest +banquet my soul fell drunk and solitary into sleep. + +"Then I thought, Power is better than pleasure. If a man will feast and +revel let him do it with the great. They will favor him, and raise him +up for the service that he renders them. He will obtain place and +authority in the world and gain many friends. So I joined myself to +Herod." + +When the sad shepherd spoke this name his listeners drew back front him +as if it were a defilement to hear it. They spat upon the ground and +cursed the Idumean who called himself their king. + +"A slave!" Jotham cried, "a bloody tyrant and a slave from Edom! A fox, +a vile beast who devours his own children! God burn him in Gehenna." + +The old Zadok picked up a stone and threw it into the darkness, saying +slowly, "I cast this stone on the grave of the Idumean, the blasphemer, +the defiler of the Temple! God send us soon the Deliverer, the Promised +One, the true King of Israel!" Ammiel made no sign, but went on with +his story. + +"Herod used me well,-for his own purpose. He welcomed me to his palace +and his table, and gave me a place among his favorites. He was so much +my friend that he borrowed my money. There were many of the nobles of +Jerusalem with him, Sadducees, and proselytes from Rome and Asia, and +women from everywhere. The law of Israel was observed in the open +court, when the people were watching. But in the secret feasts there +was no law but the will of Herod, and many deities were served but no +god was worshipped. There the captains and the princes of Rome +consorted with the high-priest and his sons by night; and there was +much coming and going by hidden ways. Everybody was a borrower or a +lender, a buyer or a seller of favors. It was a house of diligent +madness. There was nothing in it. + +"In the midst of this whirling life a great need of love came upon me +and I wished to hold some one in my inmost heart. + +"At a certain place in the city, within closed doors, I saw a young +slave-girl dancing. She was about fifteen years old, thin and supple; +she danced like a reed in the wind; but her eyes were weary as death, +and her white body was marked with bruises. She stumbled, and the men +laughed at her. She fell, and her mistress beat her, crying out that +she would fain be rid of such a heavy-footed slave. I paid the price +and took her to my dwelling. + +"Her name was Tamar. She was a daughter of Lebanon. I robed her in silk +and broidered linen. I nourished her with tender care so that beauty +came upon her like the blossoming of an almond tree; she was a garden +enclosed, breathing spices. Her eyes were like doves behind her veil, +her lips were a thread of scarlet, her neck was a tower of ivory, and +her breasts were as two fawns which feed among the lilies. She was +whiter than milk, and more rosy than the flower of the peach, and her +dancing was like the flight of a bird among the branches. So I loved +her. + +"She lay in my bosom as a clear stone that one has bought and polished +and set in fine gold at the end of a golden chain. Never was she glad +at my coming or sorry at my going. Never did she give me anything +except what I took from her. There was nothing in it. + +"Now whether Herod knew of the jewel that I kept in my dwelling I +cannot tell. It was sure that he had his spies in all the city, and +himself walked the streets by night in a disguise. On a certain day he +sent for me, and had me into his secret chamber, professing great love +toward me and more confidence than in any man that lived. So I must go +to Rome for him, bearing a sealed letter and a private message to +Caesar. All my goods would be left safely in the hands of the king, my +friend, who would reward me double. There was a certain place of high +authority at Jerusalem which Caesar would gladly bestow on a Jew who +had done him a service. This mission would commend me to him. It was a +great occasion, suited to my powers. Thus Herod fed me with fair +promises, and I ran his errand. There was nothing in it. + +"I stood before Caesar and gave him the letter. He read it and laughed, +saying that a prince with an incurable hunger is a servant of value to +an emperor. Then he asked me if there was nothing sent with the letter. +I answered that there was no gift, but a message for his private ear. +He drew me aside and I told him that Herod begged earnestly that his +dear son, Antipater, might be sent back in haste from Rome to +Palestine, for the king had great need of him. + +"At this Caesar laughed again. 'To bury him, I suppose,' said he, 'with +his brothers, Alexander and Aristobulus! Truly, it is better to be +Herod's swine than his son. Tell the old fox he may catch his own +prey.' With this he turned from me and I withdrew unrewarded, to make +my way back, as best I could with an empty purse, to Palestine. I had +seen the Lord of the World. There was nothing in it. + +"Selling my rings and bracelets I got passage in a trading ship for +Joppa. There I heard that the king was not in Jerusalem, at his Palace +of the Upper City, but had gone with his friends to make merry for a +month on the Mountain of the Little Paradise. On that hill-top over +against us, where the lights are flaring to-night, in the banquet-hall +where couches are spread for a hundred guests, I found Herod." + +The listening shepherds spat upon the ground again, and Jotham +muttered, "May the worms that devour his flesh never die!" But Zadok +whispered, "We wait for the Lord's salvation to come out of Zion." And +the sad shepherd, looking with fixed eyes at the firelit mountain far +away, continued his story: + +"The king lay on his ivory couch, and the sweat of his disease was +heavy upon him, for he was old, and his flesh was corrupted. But his +hair and his beard were dyed and perfumed and there was a wreath of +roses on his head. The hall was full of nobles and great men, the sons +of the high-priest were there, and the servants poured their wine in +cups of gold. There was a sound of soft music; and all the men were +watching a girl who danced in the middle of the hall; and the eyes of +Herod were fiery, like the eyes of a fox. + +"The dancer was Tamar. She glistened like the snow on Lebanon, and the +redness of her was ruddier than a pomegranate, and her dancing was like +the coiling of white serpents. When the dance was ended her attendants +threw a veil of gauze over her and she lay among her cushions, half +covered with flowers, at the feet of the king. + +"Through the sound of clapping hands and shouting, two slaves led me +behind the couch of Herod. His eyes narrowed as they fell upon me. I +told him the message of Caesar, making it soft, as if it were a word +that suffered him to catch his prey. He stroked his beard softly and +his look fell on Tamar. 'I have caught it,' he murmured; 'by all the +gods, I have always caught it. And my dear son, Antipater, is coming +home of his own will. I have lured him, he is mine.' + +"Then a look of madness crossed his face and he sprang up, with +frothing lips, and struck at me. 'What is this,' he cried, 'a spy, a +servant of my false son, a traitor in my banquet-hall! Who are you?' I +knelt before him, protesting that he must know me; that I was his +friend, his messenger; that I had left all my goods in his hands; that +the girl who had danced for him was mine. At this his face changed +again and he fell back on his couch, shaken with horrible laughter. +'Yours!' he cried, 'when was she yours? What is yours? I know you now, +poor madman. You are Ammiel, a crazy shepherd from Galilee, who +troubled us some time since. Take him away, slaves. He has twenty sheep +and twenty goats among my flocks at the foot of the mountain. See to it +that he gets them, and drive him away.' + +"I fought against the slaves with my bare hands, but they held me. I +called to Tamar, begging her to have pity on me, to speak for me, to +come with me. She looked up with her eyes like doves behind her veil, +but there was no knowledge of me in them. She laughed lazily, as if it +were a poor comedy, and flung a broken rose-branch in my face. Then the +silver cord was loosened within me, and my heart went out, and I +struggled no more. There was nothing in it. + +"Afterward I found myself on the road with this flock. I led them past +Hebron into the south country, and so by the Vale of Eshcol, and over +many hills beyond the Pools of Solomon, until my feet brought me to +your fire. Here I rest on the way to nowhere." + +He sat silent, and the four shepherds looked at him with amazement. + +"It is a bitter tale," said Shama, "and you are a great sinner." + +"I should be a fool not to know that," answered the sad shepherd, "but +the knowledge does me no good." + +"You must repent," said Nathan, the youngest shepherd, in a friendly +voice. + +"How can a man repent," answered the sad shepherd, "unless he has hope? +But I am sorry for everything, and most of all for living." + +"Would you not live to kill the fox Herod?" cried Jotham fiercely. + +"Why should I let him out of the trap," answered the sad shepherd. "Is +he not dying more slowly than I could kill him?" + +"You must have faith in God," said Zadok earnestly and gravely. + +"He is too far away." + +"Then you must have love for your neighbor." + +"He is too near. My confidence in man was like a pool by the wayside. +It was shallow, but there was water in it, and sometimes a star shone +there. Now the feet of many beasts have trampled through it, and the +jackals have drunken of it, and there is no more water. It is dry and +the mire is caked at the bottom." + +"Is there nothing good in the world?" + +"There is pleasure, but I am sick of it. There is power, but I hate it. +There is wisdom, but I mistrust it. Life is a game and every player is +for his own hand. Mine is played. I have nothing to win or lose." + +"You are young, you have many years to live." + +"I am old, yet the days before me are too many." + +"But you travel the road, you go forward. Do you hope for nothing?" + +"I hope for nothing," said the sad shepherd. "Yet if one thing should +come to me it might be the beginning of hope. If I saw in man or woman +a deed of kindness without a selfish reason, and a proof of love gladly +given for its own sake only, then might I turn my face toward that +light. Till that comes, how can I have faith in God whom I have never +seen? I have seen the world which he has made, and it brings me no +faith. There is nothing in it." + +"Ammiel-ben-Jochanan," said the old man sternly, "you are a son of +Israel, and we have had compassion on you, according to the law. But +you are an apostate, an unbeliever, and we can have no more fellowship +with you, lest a curse come upon us. The company of the desperate +brings misfortune. Go your way and depart from us, for our way is not +yours." + +So the sad shepherd thanked them for their entertainment, and took the +little kid again in his arms, and went into the night, calling his +flock. But the youngest shepherd Nathan followed him a few steps and +said: + +"There is a broken fold at the foot of the hill. It is old and small, +but you may find a shelter there for your flock where the wind will not +shake you. Go your way with God, brother, and see better days." + +Then Ammiel went a little way down the hill and sheltered his flock in +a corner of the crumbling walls. He lay among the sheep and the goats +with his face upon his folded arms, and whether the time passed slowly +or swiftly he did not know, for he slept. + +He waked as Nathan came running and stumbling among the scattered +stones. + +"We have seen a vision," he cried, "a wonderful vision of angels. Did +you not hear them? They sang loudly of the Hope of Israel. We are going +to Bethlehem to see this thing which is come to pass. Come you and keep +watch over our sheep while we are gone." + +"Of angels I have seen and heard nothing," said Ammiel, "but I will +guard your flocks with mine, since I am in debt to you for bread and +fire." + +So he brought the kid in his arms, and the weary flock straggling after +him, to the south wall of the great fold again, and sat there by the +embers at the foot of the tower, while the others were away. The moon +rested like a ball on the edge of the western hills and rolled behind +them. The stars faded in the east and the fires went out on the +Mountain of the Little Paradise. Over the hills of Moab a gray flood of +dawn rose slowly, and arrows of red shot far up before the sunrise. + +The shepherds returned full of joy and told what they had seen. + +"It was even as the angels said unto us," said Shama, "and it must be +true. The King of Israel has come. The faithful shall be blessed." + +"Herod shall fall," cried Jotham, lifting his clenched fist toward the +dark peaked mountain. "Burn, black Idumean, in the bottomless pit, +where the fire is not quenched." + +Zadok spoke more quietly. "We found the new-born child of whom the +angels told us wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. The +ways of God are wonderful. His salvation comes out of darkness, and we +trust in the promised deliverance. But you, Ammiel-ben-Jochanan, except +you believe, you shall not see it. Yet since you have kept our flocks +faithfully, and because of the joy that has come to us, I give you this +piece of silver to help you on your way." + +But Nathan came close to the sad shepherd and touched him on the +shoulder with a friendly hand, "Go you also to Bethlehem," he said in a +low voice, "for it is good to see what we have seen, and we will keep +your flock until you return." + +"I will go," said Ammiel, looking into his face, "for I think you wish +me well. But whether I shall see what you have seen, or whether I shall +ever return, I know not. Farewell." + + + + +III. + +DAWN + + +The narrow streets of Bethlehem were waking to the first stir of life +as the sad shepherd came into the town with the morning, and passed +through them like one walking in his sleep. + +The court-yard of the great khan and the open rooms around it were +crowded with travelers, rousing them from their night's rest and making +ready for the day's journey. In front of the stables half hollowed in +the rock beside the inn, men were saddling their horses and their +beasts of burden, and there was much noise and confusion. + +But beyond these, at the end of the line, there was a deeper grotto in +the rock, which was used only when the nearer stalls were full. At the +entrance of this an ass was tethered, and a man of middle age stood in +the doorway. + +The sad shepherd saluted him and told his name. + +"I am Joseph the carpenter of Nazareth," replied the man. "Have you +also seen the angels of whom your brother shepherds came to tell us?" + +"I have seen no angels," answered Ammiel, "nor have I any brothers +among the shepherds. But I would fain see what they have seen." + +"It is our first-born son," said Joseph, "and the Most High has sent +him to us. He is a marvellous child: great things are foretold of him. +You may go in, but quietly, for the child and his mother Mary are +asleep." + +So the sad shepherd went in quietly. His long shadow entered before +him, for the sunrise was flowing into the door of the grotto. It was +made clean and put in order, and a bed of straw was laid in the corner +on the ground. + +The child was asleep, but the young mother was waking, for she had +taken him from the manger into her lap, where her maiden veil of white +was spread to receive him. And she was singing very softly as she bent +over him in wonder and content. + +Ammiel saluted her and kneeled down to look at the child. He saw +nothing different from other young children. The mother waited for him +to speak of angels, as the other shepherds had done. The sad shepherd +did not speak, but only looked. And as he looked his face changed. + +"You have suffered pain and danger and sorrow for his sake," he said +gently. + +"They are past," she answered, "and for his sake I have suffered them +gladly." + +"He is very little and helpless; you must bear many troubles for his +sake." + +"To care for him is my joy, and to bear him lightens my burden." + +"He does not know you, he can do nothing for you." + +"But I know him. I have carried him under my heart, he is my son and my +king." + +"Why do you love him?" + +The mother looked up at the sad shepherd with a great reproach in her +soft eyes. Then her look grew pitiful as it rested on his face. + +"You are a sorrowful man," she said. + +"I am a wicked man," he answered. + +She shook her head gently. + +"I know nothing of that," she said, "but you must be very sorrowful, +since you are born of a woman and yet you ask a mother why she loves +her child. I love him for love's sake, because God has given him to +me." + +So the mother Mary leaned over her little son again and began to croon +a song as if she were alone with him. + +But Ammiel was still there, watching and thinking and beginning to +remember. It came back to him that there was a woman in Galilee who had +wept when he was rebuked; whose eyes had followed him when he was +unhappy, as if she longed to do something for him; whose voice had +broken and dropped silent while she covered her tear-stained face when +he went away. + +His thoughts flowed swiftly and silently toward her and after her like +rapid waves of light. There was a thought of her bending over a little +child in her lap, singing softly for pure joy,-and the child was +himself. There was a thought of her lifting a little child to the +breast that had borne him as a burden and a pain, to nourish him there +as a comfort and a treasure,-and the child was himself. There was a +thought of her watching and tending and guiding a little child from day +to day, from year to year, putting tender arms around him, bending over +his first wavering steps, rejoicing in his joys, wiping away the tears +from his eyes, as he had never tried to wipe her tears away,-and the +child was himself. She had done everything for the child's sake, but +what had the child done for her sake? And the child was himself: that +was what he had come to,-after the nightfire had burned out, after the +darkness had grown thin and melted in the thoughts that pulsed through +it like rapid waves of light,-that was what he had come to in the early +morning: himself, a child in his mother's arms. + +Then he arose and went out of the grotto softly, making the threefold +sign of reverence; and the eyes of Mary followed him with kind looks. + +Joseph of Nazareth was still waiting outside the door. + +"How was it that you did not see the angels?" he asked. "Were you not +with the other shepherds?" + +"No," answered Ammiel, "I was asleep. But I have seen the mother and +the child. Blessed be the house that holds them." + +"You are strangely clad for a shepherd," said Joseph. "Where do you +come from?" + +"From a far country," replied Ammiel; "from a country that you have +never visited." + +"Where are you going now?" asked Joseph. + +"I am going home," answered Ammiel, "to my mother's and my father's +house in Galilee." + +"Go in peace, friend," said Joseph. + +And the sad shepherd took up his battered staff, and went on his way +rejoicing. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sad Shepherd, by Henry Van Dyke + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SAD SHEPHERD *** + +***** This file should be named 15936.txt or 15936.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/9/3/15936/ + +Produced by Michael Gray + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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