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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +[Italics are indicatedby underscores +James Rusk, jrusk@cyberramp.net.] + + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE + +by Wilkie Collins + + + + +INTRODUCTORY WORDS. + +The following pages were written more than twenty years since, +and were then published periodically in _Household Words._ + +In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably +received. Year after year, I delayed the republication, +proposing, at the suggestion of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, +to enlarge the present sketch of the hero's adventures in +Australia. But the opportunity of carrying out this project has +proved to be one of the lost opportunities of my life. I +republish the story with its original conclusion unaltered, but +with such occasional additions and improvements as will, I hope, +render it more worthy of attention at the present time. + +The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost +boisterous gayety in certain parts of these imaginary +Confessions. I can only plead, in defense, that the story offers +the faithful reflection of a very happy time in my past life. It +was written at Paris, when I had Charles Dickens for a near +neighbor and a daily companion, and when my leisure hours were +joyously passed with many other friends, all associated with +literature and art, of whom the admirable comedian, Regnier, is +now the only survivor. The revising of these pages has been to me +a melancholy task. I can only hope that they may cheer the sad +moments of others. The Rogue may surely claim two merits, at +least, in the eyes of the new generation--he is never serious for +two moments together; and he "doesn't take long to read." W. C. + +GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, _March_ 6th, 1879. + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE. + +CHAPTER I. + +I AM going to try if I can't write something about myself. My +life has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly +useful or respectable; but it has been, in some respects, +adventurous; and that may give it claims to be read, even in the +most prejudiced circles. I am an example of some of the workings +of the social system of this illustrious country on the +individual native, during the early part of the present century; +and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I should like to +quote myself for the edification of my countrymen. + +Who am I. + +I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this +world with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a +grandmother, her ladyship's daughter for a mother, and Francis +James Softly, Esq., M. D. (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a +father. I put my father last, because he was not so well +connected as my mother, and my grandmother first, because she was +the most nobly-born person of the three. I have been, am still, +and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not abandoned +enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this +account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my +feelings as to expect me to say much about my mother's brother. +That inhuman person committed an outrage on his family by making +a fortune in the soap and candle trade. I apologize for +mentioning him, even in an accidental way. The fact is, he left +my sister, Annabella, a legacy of rather a peculiar kind, saddled +with certain conditions which indirectly affected me; but this +passage of family history need not be produced just yet. I +apologize a second time for alluding to money matters before it +was absolutely necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and +reputable subject, by saying a word or two more about my father. + +I am rather afraid that Doctor Softly was not a clever medical +man; for in spite of his great connections, he did not get a very +magnificent practice as a physician. + +As a general practitioner, he might have bought a comfortable +business, with a house and snug surgery-shop attached; but the +son-in-law of Lady Malkinshaw was obliged to hold up his head, +and set up his carriage, and live in a street near a fashionable +square, and keep an expensive and clumsy footman to answer the +door, instead of a cheap and tidy housemaid. How he managed to +"maintain his position" (that is the right phrase, I think), I +never could tell. His wife did not bring him a farthing. When the +honorable and gallant baronet, her father, died, he left the +widowed Lady Malkinshaw with her worldly affairs in a curiously +involved state. Her son (of whom I feel truly ashamed to be +obliged to speak again so soon) made an effort to extricate his +mother--involved himself in a series of pecuniary disasters, +which commercial people call, I believe, transactions--struggled +for a little while to get out of them in the character of an +independent gentleman--failed--and then spiritlessly availed +himself of the oleaginous refuge of the soap and candle trade. +His mother always looked down upon him after this; but borrowed +money of him also--in order to show, I suppose, that her maternal +interest in her son was not quite extinct. My father tried to +follow her example--in his wife's interests, of course; but the +soap-boiler brutally buttoned up his pockets, and told my father +to go into business for himself. Thus it happened that we were +certainly a poor family, in spite of the fine appearance we made, +the fashionable street we lived in, the neat brougham we kept, +and the clumsy and expensive footman who answered our door. + +What was to be done with me in the way of education? + +If my father had consulted his means, I should have been sent to +a cheap commercial academy; but he had to consult his +relationship to Lady Malkinshaw; so I was sent to one of the most +fashionable and famous of the great public schools. I will not +mention it by name, because I don't think the masters would be +proud of my connection with it. I ran away three times, and was +flogged three times. I made four aristocratic connections, and +had four pitched battles with them: three thrashed me, and one I +thrashed. I learned to play at cricket, to hate rich people, to +cure warts, to write Latin verses, to swim, to recite speeches, +to cook kidneys on toast, to draw caricatures of the masters, to +construe Greek plays, to black boots, and to receive kicks and +serious advice resignedly. Who will say that the fashionable +public school was of no use to me after that? + +After I left school, I had the narrowest escape possible of +intruding myself into another place of accommodation for +distinguished people; in other words, I was very nearly being +sent to college. Fortunately for me, my father lost a lawsuit +just in the nick of time, and was obliged to scrape together +every farthing of available money that he possessed to pay for +the luxury of going to law. If he could have saved his seven +shillings, he would certainly have sent me to scramble for a +place in the pit of the great university theater; but his purse +was empty, and his son was not eligible therefore for admission, +in a gentlemanly capacity, at the doors. + +The next thing was to choose a profession. + +Here the Doctor was liberality itself, in leaving me to my own +devices. I was of a roving adventurous temperament, and I should +have liked to go into the army. But where was the money to come +from, to pay for my commission? As to enlisting in the ranks, and +working my way up, the social institutions of my country obliged +the grandson of Lady Malkinshaw to begin military life as an +officer and gentleman, or not to begin it at all. The army, +therefore, was out of the question. The Church? Equally out of +the question: since I could not pay for admission to the prepared +place of accommodation for distinguished people, and could not +accept a charitable free pass, in consequence of my high +connections. The Bar? I should be five years getting to it, and +should have to spend two hundred a year in going circuit before I +had earned a farthing. Physic? This really seemed the only +gentlemanly refuge left; and yet, with the knowledge of my +father's experience before me, I was ungrateful enough to feel a +secret dislike for it. It is a degrading confession to make; but +I remember wishing I was not so highly connected, and absolutely +thinking that the life of a commercial traveler would have suited +me exactly, if I had not been a poor g entleman. Driving about +from place to place, living jovially at inns, seeing fresh faces +constantly, and getting money by all this enjoyment, instead of +spending it--what a life for me, if I had been the son of a +haberdasher and the grandson of a groom's widow! + +While my father was uncertain what to do with me, a new +profession was suggested by a friend, which I shall repent not +having been allowed to adopt, to the last day of my life. This +friend was an eccentric old gentleman of large property, much +respected in our family. One day, my father, in my presence, +asked his advice about the best manner of starting me in life, +with due credit to my connections and sufficient advantage to +myself. + +"Listen to my experience," said our eccentric friend, "and, if +you are a wise man, you will make up your mind as soon as you +have heard me. I have three sons. I brought my eldest son up to +the Church; he is said to be getting on admirably, and he costs +me three hundred a year. I brought my second son up to the Bar; +he is said to be getting on admirably, and he costs me four +hundred a year. I brought my third son up to _Quadrilles_--he has +married an heiress, and he costs me nothing." + +Ah, me! if that worthy sage's advice had only been followed--if I +had been brought up to Quadrilles!--if I had only been cast loose +on the ballrooms of London, to qualify under Hymen, for a golden +degree! Oh! you young ladies with money, I was five feet ten in +my stockings; I was great at small-talk and dancing; I had glossy +whiskers, curling locks, and a rich voice! Ye girls with golden +guineas, ye nymphs with crisp bank-notes, mourn over the husband +you have lost among you--over the Rogue who has broken the laws +which, as the partner of a landed or fund-holding woman, he might +have helped to make on the benches of the British Parliament! Oh! +ye hearths and homes sung about in so many songs--written about +in so many books--shouted about in so many speeches, with +accompaniment of so much loud cheering: what a settler on the +hearth-rug; what a possessor of property; what a bringer-up of a +family, was snatched away from you, when the son of Dr. Softly +was lost to the profession of Quadrilles! + +It ended in my resigning myself to the misfortune of being a +doctor. + +If I was a very good boy and took pains, and carefully mixed in +the best society, I might hope in the course of years to succeed +to my father's brougham, fashionably-situated house, and clumsy +and expensive footman. There was a prospect for a lad of spirit, +with the blood of the early Malkinshaws (who were Rogues of great +capacity and distinction in the feudal times) coursing +adventurous through every vein! I look back on my career, and +when I remember the patience with which I accepted a medical +destiny, I appear to myself in the light of a hero. Nay, I even +went beyond the passive virtue of accepting my destiny--I +actually studied, I made the acquaintance of the skeleton, I was +on friendly terms with the muscular system, and the mysteries of +Physiology dropped in on me in the kindest manner whenever they +had an evening to spare. + +Even this was not the worst of it. I disliked the abstruse +studies of my new profession; but I absolutely hated the diurnal +slavery of qualifying myself, in a social point of view, for +future success in it. My fond medical parent insisted on +introducing me to his whole connection. I went round visiting in +the neat brougham--with a stethoscope and medical review in the +front-pocket, with Doctor Softly by my side, keeping his face +well in view at the window--to canvass for patients, in the +character of my father's hopeful successor. Never have I been so +ill at ease in prison, as I was in that carriage. I have felt +more at home in the dock (such is the natural depravity and +perversity of my disposition) than ever I felt in the +drawing-rooms of my father's distinguished patrons and +respectable friends. Nor did my miseries end with the morning +calls. I was commanded to attend all dinner-parties, and to make +myself agreeable at all balls. The dinners were the worst trial. +Sometimes, indeed, we contrived to get ourselves asked to the +houses of high and mighty entertainers, where we ate the finest +French dishes and drank the oldest vintages, and fortified +ourselves sensibly and snugly in that way against the frigidity +of the company. Of these repasts I have no hard words to say; it +is of the dinners we gave ourselves, and of the dinners which +people in our rank of life gave to us, that I now bitterly +complain. + +Have you ever observed the remarkable adherence to set forms of +speech which characterizes the talkers of arrant nonsense! +Precisely the same sheepish following of one given example +distinguishes the ordering of genteel dinners. + +When we gave a dinner at home, we had gravy soup, turbot and +lobster-sauce, haunch of mutton, boiled fowls and tongue, +lukewarm oyster-patties and sticky curry for side-dishes; wild +duck, cabinet-pudding, jelly, cream and tartlets. All excellent +things, except when you have to eat them continually. We lived +upon them entirely in the season. Every one of our hospitable +friends gave us a return dinner, which was a perfect copy of +ours--just as ours was a perfect copy of theirs, last year. They +boiled what we boiled, and we roasted what they roasted. We none +of us ever changed the succession of the courses--or made more or +less of them--or altered the position of the fowls opposite the +mistress and the haunch opposite the master. My stomach used to +quail within me, in those times, when the tureen was taken off +and the inevitable gravy-soup smell renewed its daily +acquaintance with my nostrils, and warned me of the persistent +eatable formalities that were certain to follow. I suppose that +honest people, who have known what it is to get no dinner (being +a Rogue, I have myself never wanted for one), have gone through +some very acute suffering under that privation. It may be some +consolation to them to know that, next to absolute starvation, +the same company-dinner, every day, is one of the hardest trials +that assail human endurance. I date my first serious +determination to throw over the medical profession at the +earliest convenient opportunity, from the second season's series +of dinners at which my aspirations, as a rising physician, +unavoidably and regularly condemned me to be present. + +CHAPTER II. + +THE opportunity I wanted presented itself in a curious way, and +led, unexpectedly enough, to some rather important consequences. + +I have already stated, among the other branches of human +attainment which I acquired at the public school, that I learned +to draw caricatures of the masters who were so obliging as to +educate me. I had a natural faculty for this useful department of +art. I improved it greatly by practice in secret after I left +school, and I ended by making it a source of profit and pocket +money to me when I entered the medical profession. What was I to +do? I could not expect for years to make a halfpenny, as a +physician. My genteel walk in life led me away from all immediate +sources of emolument, and my father could only afford to give me +an allowance which was too preposterously small to be mentioned. +I had helped myself surreptitiously to pocket-money at school, by +selling my caricatures, and I was obliged to repeat the process +at home! + +At the time of which I write, the Art of Caricature was just +approaching the close of its colored and most extravagant stage +of development. The subtlety and truth to Nature required for the +pursuit of it now, had hardly begun to be thought of then. Sheer +farce and coarse burlesque, with plenty of color for the money, +still made up the sum of what the public of those days wanted. I +was first assured of my capacity for the production of these +requisites, by a medical friend of the ripe critical age of +nineteen. He knew a print-publisher, and enthusiastically showed +him a portfolio full of my sketches, taking care at my request +not to mention my name. Rather to my surprise (for I was too +conceited to be greatly amazed by the circumstance), the +publisher picked out a few of the best of my wares, and boldly +bought them of me-- of course, at his own price. From that time I +became, in an anonymous way, one of the young buccaneers of +British Caricature; cruising about here, there and everywhere, at +all my intervals of spare time, for any prize in the shape of a +subject which it was possible to pick up. Little did my +highly-connected mother think that, among the colored prints in +the shop-window, which disrespectfully illustrated the public and +private proceedings of distinguished individuals, certain +specimens bearing the classic signature of "Thersites Junior," +were produced from designs furnished by her studious and medical +son. Little did my respectable father imagine when, with great +difficulty and vexation, he succeeded in getting me now and then +smuggled, along with himself, inside the pale of fashionable +society--that he was helping me to study likenesses which were +destined under my reckless treatment to make the public laugh at +some of his most august patrons, and to fill the pockets of his +son with professional fees, never once dreamed of in his +philosophy. + +For more than a year I managed, unsuspected, to keep the Privy +Purse fairly supplied by the exercise of my caricaturing +abilities. But the day of detection was to come. + +Whether my medical friend's admiration of my satirical sketches +led him into talking about them in public with too little +reserve; or whether the servants at home found private means of +watching me in my moments of Art-study, I know not: but that some +one betrayed me, and that the discovery of my illicit manufacture +of caricatures was actually communicated even to the +grandmotherly head and fount of the family honor, is a most +certain and lamentable matter of fact. One morning my father +received a letter from Lady Malkinshaw herself, informing him, in +a handwriting crooked with poignant grief, and blotted at every +third word by the violence of virtuous indignation, that +"Thersites Junior" was his own son, and that, in one of the last +of the "ribald's" caricatures her own venerable features were +unmistakably represented as belonging to the body of a large owl! + +Of course, I laid my hand on my heart and indignantly denied +everything. Useless. My original model for the owl had got proofs +of my guilt that were not to be resisted. + +The doctor, ordinarily the most mellifluous and self-possessed of +men, flew into a violent, roaring, cursing passion, on this +occasion--declared that I was imperiling the honor and standing +of the family--insisted on my never drawing another caricature, +either for public or private purposes, as long as I lived; and +ordered me to go forthwith and ask pardon of Lady Malkinshaw in +the humblest terms that it was possible to select. I answered +dutifully that I was quite ready to obey, on the condition that +he should reimburse me by a trebled allowance for what I should +lose by giving up the Art of Caricature, or that Lady Malkinshaw +should confer on me the appointment of physician-in-waiting on +her, with a handsome salary attached. These extremely moderate +stipulations so increased my father's anger, that he asserted, +with an unmentionably vulgar oath, his resolution to turn me out +of doors if I did not do as he bid me, without daring to hint at +any conditions whatsoever. I bowed, and said that I would save +him the exertion of turning me out of doors, by going of my own +accord. He shook his fist at me; after which it obviously became +my duty, as a member of a gentlemanly and peaceful profession, to +leave the room. The same evening I left the house, and I have +never once given the clumsy and expensive footman the trouble of +answering the door to me since that time. + +I have reason to believe that my exodus from home was, on the +whole, favorably viewed by my mother, as tending to remove any +possibility of my bad character and conduct interfering with my +sister's advancement in life. + +By dint of angling with great dexterity and patience, under the +direction of both her parents, my handsome sister Annabella had +succeeded in catching an eligible husband, in the shape of a +wizen, miserly, mahogany-colored man, turned fifty, who had made +a fortune in the West Indies. His name was Batterbury; he had +been dried up under a tropical sun, so as to look as if he would +keep for ages; he had two subjects of conversation, the +yellow-fever and the advantage of walking exercise: and he was +barbarian enough to take a violent dislike to me. He had proved a +very delicate fish to hook; and, even when Annabella had caught +him, my father and mother had great difficulty in landing +him--principally, they were good enough to say, in consequence of +my presence on the scene. Hence the decided advantage of my +removal from home. It is a very pleasant reflection to me, now, +to remember how disinterestedly I studied the good of my family +in those early days. + +Abandoned entirely to my own resources, I naturally returned to +the business of caricaturing with renewed ardor. + +About this time Thersites Junior really began to make something +like a reputation, and to walk abroad habitually with a bank-note +comfortably lodged among the other papers in his pocketbook. For +a year I lived a gay and glorious life in some of the freest +society in London; at the end of that time, my tradesmen, without +any provocation on my part, sent in their bills. I found myself +in the very absurd position of having no money to pay them, and +told them all so with the frankness which is one of the best +sides of my character. They received my advances toward a better +understanding with brutal incivility, and treated me soon +afterward with a want of confidence which I may forgive, but can +never forget. One day, a dirty stranger touched me on the +shoulder, and showed me a dirty slip of paper which I at first +presumed to be his card. Before I could tell him what a vulgar +document it looked like, two more dirty strangers put me into a +hackney coach. Before I could prove to them that this proceeding +was a gross infringement on the liberties of the British subject, +I found myself lodged within the walls of a prison. + +Well! and what of that? Who am I that I should object to being in +prison, when so many of the royal personages and illustrious +characters of history have been there before me? Can I not carry +on my vocation in greater comfort here than I could in my +father's house? Have I any anxieties outside these walls? No: for +my beloved sister is married--the family net has landed Mr. +Batterbury at last. No: for I read in the paper the other day, +that Doctor Softly (doubtless through the interest of Lady +Malkinshaw) has been appointed the +King's-Barber-Surgeon's-Deputy-Consulting Physician. My relatives +are comfortable in their sphere--let me proceed forthwith to make +myself comfortable in mine. Pen, ink, and paper, if you please, +Mr. Jailer: I wish to write to my esteemed publisher. + + + +"DEAR SIR--Please advertise a series of twelve Racy Prints, from +my fertile pencil, entitled, 'Scenes of Modern Prison Life,' by +Thersites Junior. The two first designs will be ready by the end +of the week, to be paid for on delivery, according to the terms +settled between us for my previous publications of the same size. + +"With great regard and esteem, faithfully yours, + +FRANK SOFTLY." + + + +Having thus provided for my support in prison, I was enabled to +introduce myself to my fellow-debtors, and to study character for +the new series of prints, on the very first day of my +incarceration, with my mind quite at ease. + +If the reader desires to make acquaintance with the associates of +my captivity, I must refer him to "Scenes of Modern Prison Life," +by Thersites Junior, now doubtless extremely scarce, but +producible to the demands of patience and perseverance, I should +imagine, if anybody will be so obliging as to pass a week or so +over the catalogue of the British Museum. My fertile pencil has +delineated the characters I met with, at that period of my life, +with a force and distinctness which my pen cannot hope to +rival--has portrayed them all more or less prominently, with the +one solitary exception of a prisoner called Gentleman Jones. The +reasons why I excluded him from my portrait-gallery are so +honorab le to both of us, that I must ask permission briefly to +record them. + +My fellow-captives soon discovered that I was studying their +personal peculiarities for my own advantage and for the public +amusement. Some thought the thing a good joke; some objected to +it, and quarreled with me. Liberality in the matter of liquor and +small loans, reconciled a large proportion of the objectors to +their fate; the sulky minority I treated with contempt, and +scourged avengingly with the smart lash of caricature. I was at +that time probably the most impudent man of my age in all +England, and the common flock of jail-birds quailed before the +magnificence of my assurance. One prisoner only set me and my +pencil successfully at defiance. That prisoner was Gentleman +Jones. + +He had received his name from the suavity of his countenance, the +inveterate politeness of his language, and the unassailable +composure of his manner. He was in the prime of life, but very +bald--had been in the army and the coal trade--wore very stiff +collars and prodigiously long wristbands--seldom laughed, but +talked with remarkable glibness, and was never known to lose his +temper under the most aggravating circumstances of prison +existence. + +He abstained from interfering with me and my studies, until it +was reported in our society, that in the sixth print of my +series, Gentleman Jones, highly caricatured, was to form one of +the principal figures. He then appealed to me personally and +publicly, on the racket-ground, in the following terms: + +"Sir," said he, with his usual politeness and his unwavering +smile, "you will greatly oblige me by not caricaturing my +personal peculiarities. I am so unfortunate as not to possess a +sense of humor; and if you did my likeness, I am afraid I should +not see the joke of it." + +"Sir," I returned, with my customary impudence, "it is not of the +slightest importance whether _you_ see the joke of it or not. The +public will--and that is enough for me." + +With that civil speech, I turned on my heel; and the prisoners +near all burst out laughing. Gentleman Jones, not in the least +altered or ruffled, smoothed down his wristbands, smiled, and +walked away. + +The same evening I was in my room alone, designing the new print, +when there came a knock at the door, and Gentleman Jones walked +in. I got up, and asked what the devil he wanted. He smiled, and +turned up his long wristbands. + +"Only to give you a lesson in politeness," said Gentleman Jones. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--?" + +The answer was a smart slap on the face. I instantly struck out +in a state of fury--was stopped with great neatness--and received +in return a blow on the head, which sent me down on the carpet +half stunned, and too giddy to know the difference between the +floor and the ceiling. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, smoothing down his wristbands again, +and addressing me blandly as I lay on the floor, "I have the +honor to inform you that you have now received your first lesson +in politeness. Always be civil to those who are civil to you. The +little matter of the caricature we will settle on a future +occasion. I wish you good-evening." + +The noise of my fall had been heard by the other occupants of +rooms on my landing. Most fortunately for my dignity, they did +not come in to see what was the matter until I had been able to +get into my chair again. When they entered, I felt that the +impression of the slap was red on my face still, but the mark of +the blow was hidden by my hair. Under these fortunate +circumstances, I was able to keep up my character among my +friends, when they inquired about the scuffle, by informing them +that Gentleman Jones had audaciously slapped my face, and that I +had been obliged to retaliate by knocking him down. My word in +the prison was as good as his; and if my version of the story got +fairly the start of his, I had the better chance of the two of +being believed. + +I was rather anxious, the next day, to know what course my polite +and pugilistic instructor would take. To my utter amazement, he +bowed to me as civilly as usual when we met in the yard; he never +denied my version of the story; and when my friends laughed at +him as a thrashed man, he took not the slightest notice of their +agreeable merriment. Antiquity, I think, furnishes us with few +more remarkable characters than Gentleman Jones. + +That evening I thought it desirable to invite a friend to pass +the time with me. As long as my liquor lasted he stopped; when it +was gone, he went away. I was just locking the door after him, +when it was pushed open gently, but very firmly, and Gentleman +Jones walked in. + +My pride, which had not allowed me to apply for protection to the +prison authorities, would not allow me now to call for help. I +tried to get to the fireplace and arm myself with the poker, but +Gentleman Jones was too quick for me. "I have come, sir, to give +you a lesson in morality to-night," he said; and up went his +right hand. + +I stopped the preliminary slap, but before I could hit him, his +terrible left fist reached my head again; and down I fell once +more--upon the hearth-rug this time--not over-heavily. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, making me a bow, "you have now +received your first lesson in morality. Always speak the truth; +and never say what is false of another man behind his back. +To-morrow, with your kind permission, we will finally settle the +adjourned question of the caricature. Good-night." + +I was far too sensible a man to leave the settling of that +question to him. The first thing in the morning I sent a polite +note to Gentleman Jones, informing him that I had abandoned all +idea of exhibiting his likeness to the public in my series of +prints, and giving him full permission to inspect every design I +made before it went out of the prison. I received a most civil +answer, thanking me for my courtesy, and complimenting me on the +extraordinary aptitude with which I profited by the most +incomplete and elementary instruction. I thought I deserved the +compliment, and I think so still. Our conduct, as I have already +intimated, was honorable to us, on either side. It was honorable +attention on the part of Gentleman Jones to correct me when I was +in error; it was honorable common sense in me to profit by the +correction. I have never seen this great man since he compounded +with his creditors and got out of prison; but my feelings toward +him are still those of profound gratitude and respect. He gave me +the only useful teaching I ever had; and if this should meet the +eye of Gentleman Jones I hereby thank him for beginning and +ending my education in two evenings, without costing me or my +family a single farthing. + +CHAPTER III. + +To return to my business affairs. When I was comfortably settled +in the prison, and knew exactly what I owed, I thought it my duty +to my father to give him the first chance of getting me out. His +answer to my letter contained a quotation from Shakespeare on the +subject of thankless children, but no remittance of money. After +that, my only course was to employ a lawyer and be declared a +bankrupt. I was most uncivilly treated, and remanded two or three +times. When everything I possessed had been sold for the benefit +of my creditors, I was reprimanded and let out. It is pleasant to +think that, even then, my faith in myself and in human nature was +still not shaken. + +About ten days before my liberation, I was thunderstruck at +receiving a visit from my sister's mahogany-colored husband, Mr. +Batterbury. When I was respectably settled at home, this +gentleman would not so much as look at me without a frown; and +now, when I was a scamp, in prison, he mercifully and fraternally +came to condole with me on my misfortunes. A little dexterous +questioning disclosed the secret of this prodigious change in our +relations toward each other, and informed me of a family event +which altered my position toward my sister in the most whimsical +manner. + +While I was being removed to the bankruptcy court, my uncle in +the soap and candle trade was being removed to the other world. +His will took no notice of my father or my mother; but he left to +my sister (always supposed to be his favorite in the family) a +most extraordin ary legacy of possible pin-money, in the shape of +a contingent reversion to the sum of three thousand pounds, +payable on the death of Lady Malkinshaw, provided I survived her. + +Whether this document sprang into existence out of any of his +involved money transactions with his mother was more than Mr. +Batterbury could tell. I could ascertain nothing in relation to +it, except that the bequest was accompanied by some cynical +remarks, to the effect that the testator would feel happy if his +legacy were instrumental in reviving the dormant interest of only +one member of Doctor Softly's family in the fortunes of the +hopeful young gentleman who had run away from home. My esteemed +uncle evidently felt that he could not in common decency avoid +doing something for his sister's family; and he had done it +accordingly in the most malicious and mischievous manner. This +was characteristic of him; he was just the man, if he had not +possessed the document before, to have had it drawn out on his +death-bed for the amiable purpose which it was now devoted to +serve. + +Here was a pretty complication! Here was my sister's handsome +legacy made dependent on my outliving my grandmother! This was +diverting enough; but Mr. Batterbury's conduct was more amusing +still. + +The miserly little wretch not only tried to conceal his greedy +desire to save his own pockets by securing the allowance of +pin-money left to his wife, but absolutely persisted in ignoring +the plain fact that his visit to me sprang from the serious +pecuniary interest which he and Annabella now had in the life and +health of your humble servant. I made all the necessary jokes +about the strength of the vital principle in Lady Malkinshaw, and +the broken condition of my own constitution; but he solemnly +abstained from understanding one of them. He resolutely kept up +appearances in the very face of detection; not the faintest shade +of red came over his wicked old mahogany face as he told me how +shocked he and his wife were at my present position, and how +anxious Annabella was that he should not forget to give me her +love. Tenderhearted creature! I had only been in prison six +months when that overwhelming testimony of sisterly affection +came to console me in my captivity. Ministering angel! you shall +get your three thousand pounds. I am fifty years younger than +Lady Malkinshaw, and I will take care of myself, Annabella, for +thy dear sake! + +The next time I saw Mr. Batterbury was on the day when I at last +got my discharge. He was not waiting to see where I was going +next, or what vital risks I was likely to run on the recovery of +my freedom, but to congratulate me, and to give me Annabella's +love. It was a very gratifying attention, and I said as much, in +tones of the deepest feeling. + +"How is dear Lady Malkinshaw?" I asked, when my grateful emotions +had subsided. + +Mr. Batterbury shook his head mournfully. "I regret to say, not +quite so well as her friends could wish," he answered. "The last +time I had the pleasure of seeing her ladyship, she looked so +yellow that if we had been in Jamaica I should have said it was a +case of death in twelve hours. I respectfully endeavored to +impress upon her ladyship the necessity of keeping the functions +of the liver active by daily walking exercise; time, distance, +and pace being regulated with proper regard to her age--you +understand me?--of course, with proper regard to her age." + +"You could not possibly have given her better advice," I said. +"When I saw her, as long as two years ago, Lady Malkinshaw's +favorite delusion was that she was the most active woman of +seventy-five in all England. She used to tumble downstairs two or +three times a week, then, because she never would allow any one +to help her; and could not be brought to believe that she was as +blind as a mole, and as rickety on her legs as a child of a year +old. Now you have encouraged her to take to walking, she will be +more obstinate than ever, and is sure to tumble down daily, out +of doors as well as in. Not even the celebrated Malkinshaw +toughness can last out more than a few weeks of that practice. +Considering the present shattered condition of my constitution, +you couldn't have given her better advice--upon my word of honor, +you couldn't have given her better advice!" + +"I am afraid," said Mr. Batterbury, with a power of face I +envied; "I am afraid, my dear Frank (let me call you Frank), that +I don't quite apprehend your meaning: and we have unfortunately +no time to enter into explanations. Five miles here by a +roundabout way is only half my daily allowance of walking +exercise; five miles back by a roundabout way remain to be now +accomplished. So glad to see you at liberty again! Mind you let +us know where you settle, and take care of yourself; and do +recognize the importance to the whole animal economy of daily +walking exercise--do now! Did I give you Annabella's love? She's +so well. Good-by." + +Away went Mr. Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his +health, and away went I to visit my publisher for the sake of my +pocket. + +An unexpected disappointment awaited me. My "Scenes of Modern +Prison Life" had not sold so well as had been anticipated, and my +publisher was gruffly disinclined to speculate in any future +works done in the same style. During the time of my imprisonment, +a new caricaturist had started, with a manner of his own; he had +already formed a new school, and the fickle public were all +running together after him and his disciples. I said to myself: +"This scene in the drama of your life, my friend, has closed in; +you must enter on another, or drop the curtain at once." Of +course I entered on another. + +Taking leave of my publisher, I went to consult an artist-friend +on my future prospects. I supposed myself to be merely on my way +to a change of profession. As destiny ordered it, I was also on +my way to the woman who was not only to be the object of my first +love, but the innocent cause of the great disaster of my life. + +I first saw her in one of the narrow streets leading from +Leicester Square to the Strand. There was something in her face +(dimly visible behind a thick veil) that instantly stopped me as +I passed her. I looked back and hesitated. Her figure was the +perfection of modest grace. I yielded to the impulse of the +moment. In plain words, I did what you would have done, in my +place--I followed her. + +She looked round--discovered me--and instantly quickened her +pace. Reaching the westward end of the Strand, she crossed the +street and suddenly entered a shop. + +I looked through the window, and saw her speak to a respectable +elderly person behind the counter, who darted an indignant look +at me, and at once led my charming stranger into a back office. +For the moment, I was fool enough to feel puzzled; it was out of +my character you will say--but remember, all men are fools when +they first fall in love. After a little while I recovered the use +of my senses. The shop was at the corner of a side street, +leading to the market, since removed to make room for the +railway. "There's a back entrance to the house!" I thought to +myself--and ran down the side street. Too late! the lovely +fugitive had escaped me. Had I lost her forever in the great +world of London? I thought so at the time. Events will show that +I never was more mistaken in my life. + +I was in no humor to call on my friend. It was not until another +day had passed that I sufficiently recovered my composure to see +poverty staring me in the face, and to understand that I had +really no alternative but to ask the good-natured artist to lend +me a helping hand. + +I had heard it darkly whispered that he was something of a +vagabond. But the term is so loosely applied, and it seems so +difficult, after all, to define what a vagabond is, or to strike +the right moral balance between the vagabond work which is boldly +published, and the vagabond work which is reserved for private +circulation only, that I did not feel justified in holding aloof +from my former friend. Accordingly, I renewed our acquaintance, +and told him my present difficulty. He was a sharp man, and he +showed me a way out of it directly. + +"You have a good eye for a likeness," he said; "and you have made +it keep you hitherto. Very well. Make it keep you still. You +can't profitably caricature people's faces any longer--never +mind! go to the other extreme, and flatter them now. Turn +portrait-painter. You shall have the use of this study three days +in the week, for ten shillings a week--sleeping on the hearth-rug +included, if you like. Get your paints, rouse up your friends, +set to work at once. Drawing is of no consequence; painting is of +no consequence; perspective is of no consequence; ideas are of no +consequence. Everything is of no consequence, except catching a +likeness and flattering your sitter--and that you know you can +do." + +I felt that I could; and left him for the nearest colorman's. + +Before I got to the shop, I met Mr. Batterbury taking his walking +exercise. He stopped, shook hands with me affectionately, and +asked where I was going. A wonderful idea struck me. Instead of +answering his question, I asked after Lady Malkinshaw. + +"Don't be alarmed," said Mr. Batterbury; "her ladyship tumbled +downstairs yesterday morning." + +"My dear sir, allow me to congratulate you!" + +"Most fortunately," continued Mr. Batterbury, with a strong +emphasis on the words, and a fixed stare at me; "most +fortunately, the servant had been careless enough to leave a +large bundle of clothes for the wash at the foot of the stairs, +while she went to answer the door. Falling headlong from the +landing, her ladyship pitched (pardon me the expression)--pitched +into the very middle of the bundle. She was a little shaken at +the time, but is reported to be going on charmingly this morning. +Most fortunate, was it not? Seen the papers? Awful news from +Demerara--the yellow fever--" + +"I wish I was at Demerara," I said, in a hollow voice. + +"You! Why?" exclaimed Mr. Batterbury, aghast. + +"I am homeless, friendless, penniless," I went on, getting more +hollow at every word. "All my intellectual instincts tell me that +I could retrieve my position and live respectably in the world, +if I might only try my hand at portrait-painting--the thing of +all others that I am naturally fittest for. But I have nobody to +start me; no sitter to give me a first chance; nothing in my +pocket but three-and-sixpence; and nothing in my mind but a doubt +whether I shall struggle on a little longer, or end it +immediately in the Thames. Don't let me detain you from your +walk, my dear sir. I'm afraid Lady Malkinshaw will outlive me, +after all!" + +"Stop!" cried Mr. Batterbury; his mahogany face actually getting +white with alarm. "Stop! Don't talk in that dreadfully +unprincipled manner--don't, I implore, I insist! You have plenty +of friends--you have me, and your sister. Take to +portrait-painting--think of your family, and take to +portrait-painting!" + +"Where am I to get a sitter?' I inquired, with a gloomy shake of +the head. + +"Me," said Mr. Batterbury, with an effort. "I'll be your first +sitter. As a beginner, and especially to a member of the family, +I suppose your terms will be moderate. Small beginnings--you know +the proverb?" Here he stopped; and a miserly leer puckered up his +mahogany cheeks. + +"I'll do you, life-size, down to your waistcoat, for fifty +pounds," said I. + +Mr. Batterbury winced, and looked about him to the right and +left, as if he wanted to run away. He had five thousand a year, +but he contrived to took, at that moment, as if his utmost income +was five hundred. I walked on a few steps. + +"Surely those terms are rather high to begin with?" he said, +walking after me. "I should have thought five-and-thirty, or +perhaps forty--" + +"A gentleman, sir, cannot condescend to bargain," said I, with +mournful dignity. "Farewell!" I waved my hand, and crossed over +the way. + +"Don't do that!" cried Mr. Batterbury. "I accept. Give me your +address. I'll come tomorrow. Will it include the frame! There! +there! it doesn't include the frame, of course. Where are you +going now? To the colorman? He doesn't live in the Strand, I +hope--or near one of the bridges. Think of Annabella, think of +the family, think of the fifty pounds--an income, a year's income +to a prudent man. Pray, pray be careful, and compose your mind: +promise me, my dear, dear fellow--promise me, on your word of +honor, to compose your mind!" + +I left him still harping on that string, and suffering, I +believe, the only serious attack of mental distress that had ever +affected him in the whole course of his life. + + + +Behold me, then, now starting afresh in the world, in the +character of a portrait-painter; with the payment of my +remuneration from my first sitter depending whimsically on the +life of my grandmother. If you care to know how Lady Malkinshaw's +health got on, and how I succeeded in my new profession, you have +only to follow the further course of these confessions, in the +next chapter. + +CHAPTER IV. + +I GAVE my orders to the colorman, and settled matters with my +friend the artist that day. + +The next morning, before the hour at which I expected my sitter, +having just now as much interest in the life of Lady Malkinshaw +as Mr. Batterbury had in her death, I went to make kind inquiries +after her ladyship's health. The answer was most reassuring. Lady +Malkinshaw had no present intention of permitting me to survive +her. She was, at that very moment, meritoriously and heartily +engaged in eating her breakfast. My prospects being now of the +best possible kind, l felt encouraged to write once more to my +father, telling him of my fresh start in life, and proposing a +renewal of our acquaintance. I regret to say that he was so rude +as not to answer my letter. + +Mr. Batterbury was punctual to the moment. He gave a gasp of +relief when he beheld me, full of life, with my palette on my +thumb, gazing fondly on my new canvas. + +"That's right!" he said. "I like to see you with your mind +composed. Annabella would have come with me; but she has a little +headache this morning. She sends her love and best wishes." + +I seized my chalks and began with that confidence in myself which +has never forsaken me in any emergency. Being perfectly well +aware of the absolute dependence of the art of portrait-painting +on the art of flattery, I determined to start with making the +mere outline of my likeness a compliment to my sitter. + +It was much easier to resolve on doing this than really to do it. +In the first place, my hand would relapse into its wicked old +caricaturing habits. In the second place, my brother-in-law's +face was so inveterately and completely ugly as to set every +artifice of pictorial improvement at flat defiance. When a man +has a nose an inch long, with the nostrils set perpendicularly, +it is impossible to flatter it--you must either change it into a +fancy nose, or resignedly acquiesce in it. When a man has no +perceptible eyelids, and when his eyes globularly project so far +out of his head, that you expect to have to pick them up for him +whenever you see him lean forward, how are mortal fingers and +bushes to diffuse the right complimentary expression over them? +You must either do them the most hideous and complete justice, or +give them up altogether. The late Sir Thomas Lawrence, P.R.A., +was undoubtedly the most artful and uncompromising flatterer that +ever smoothed out all the natural characteristic blemishes from a +sitter's face; but even that accomplished parasite would have +found Mr. Batterbury too much for him, and would have been +driven, for the first time in his practice of art, to the +uncustomary and uncourtly resource of absolutely painting a +genuine likeness. + +As for me, I put my trust in Lady Malkinshaw's power of living, +and portrayed the face of Mr. Batterbury in all its native +horror. At the same time, I sensibly guarded against even the +most improbable accidents, by making him pay me the fifty pounds +as we went on, by installments. We had ten sittings. Each one of +them began with a message from Mr. Batterbury, giving me +Annabella's love and apologies for not being able to come and see +me. Each one of them ended with an argument between Mr. +Batterbury and me relative to the transfer of five pounds from +his pocket to mine. I came off victorious on every +occasion--being backed by the noble behavior of Lady Malkinshaw, +who abstained from tumb ling down, and who ate and drank, and +slept and grew lusty, for three weeks together. Venerable woman! +She put fifty pounds into my pocket. I shall think of her with +gratitude and respect to the end of my days. + +One morning, while I was sitting before my completed portrait, +inwardly shuddering over the ugliness of it, a suffocating smell +of musk was wafted into the studio; it was followed by a sound of +rustling garments; and that again was succeeded by the personal +appearance of my affectionate sister, with her husband at her +heels. Annabella had got to the end of her stock of apologies, +and had come to see me. + +She put her handkerchief to her nose the moment she entered the +room. + +"How do you do, Frank? Don't kiss me: you smell of paint, and I +can't bear it." + +I felt a similar antipathy to the smell of musk, and had not the +slightest intention of kissing her; but I was too gallant a man +to say so; and I only begged her to favor me by looking at her +husband's portrait. + +Annabella glanced all round the room, with her handkerchief still +at her nose, and gathered her magnificent silk dress close about +her superb figure with her disengaged hand. + +"What a horrid place!" she said faintly behind her handkerchief. +"Can't you take some of the paint away? I'm sure there's oil on +the floor. How am I to get past that nasty table with the palette +on it? Why can't you bring the picture down to the carriage, +Frank?" + +Advancing a few steps, and looking suspiciously about her while +she spoke, her eyes fell on the chimney-piece. An eau-de-Cologne +bottle stood upon it, which she took up immediately with a +languishing sigh. + +It contained turpentine for washing brushes in. Before I could +warn her, she had sprinkled herself absently with half the +contents of the bottle. In spite of all the musk that now filled +the room, the turpentine betrayed itself almost as soon as I +cried "Stop!" Annabella, with a shriek of disgust, flung the +bottle furiously into the fireplace. Fortunately it was +summer-time, or I might have had to echo the shriek with a cry of +"Fire!" + +"You wretch! you brute! you low, mischievous, swindling +blackguard!" cried my amiable sister, shaking her skirts with all +her might, "you have done this on purpose! Don't tell me! I know +you have. What do you mean by pestering me to come to this +dog-kennel of a place?" she continued, turning fiercely upon the +partner of her existence and legitimate receptacle of all her +superfluous wrath. "What do you mean by bringing me here, to see +how you have been swindled? Yes, sir, swindled! He has no more +idea of painting than you have. He has cheated you out of your +money. If he was starving tomorrow he would be the last man in +England to make away with himself--he is too great a wretch--he +is too vicious--he is too lost to all sense of respectability--he +is too much of a discredit to his family. Take me away! Give me +your arm directly! I told you not to go near him from the first. +This is what comes of your horrid fondness for money. Suppose +Lady Malkinshaw does outlive him; suppose I do lose my legacy. +What is three thousand pounds to you? My dress is ruined. My +shawl's spoiled. _He_ die! If the old woman lives to the age of +Methuselah, he won't die. Give me your arm. No! Go to my father. +I want medical advice. My nerves are torn to pieces. I m giddy, +faint, sick--SICK, Mr. Batterbury!" + +Here she became hysterical, and vanished, leaving a mixed odor of +musk and turpentine behind her, which preserved the memory of her +visit for nearly a week afterward. + +"Another scene in the drama of my life seems likely to close in +before long," thought I. "No chance now of getting my amiable +sister to patronize struggling genius. Do I know of anybody else +who will sit to me? No, not a soul. Having thus no portraits of +other people to paint, what is it my duty, as a neglected artist, +to do next? Clearly to take a portrait of myself." + +I did so, making my own likeness quite a pleasant relief to the +ugliness of my brother-in-law's. It was my intention to send both +portraits to the Royal Academy Exhibition, to get custom, and +show the public generally what I could do. I knew the institution +with which I had to deal, and called my own likeness, Portrait of +a Nobleman. + +That dexterous appeal to the tenderest feelings of my +distinguished countrymen very nearly succeeded. The portrait of +Mr. Batterbury (much the more carefully-painted picture of the +two) was summarily turned out. The Portrait of a Nobleman was +politely reserved to be hung up, if the Royal Academicians could +possibly find room for it. They could not. So that picture also +vanished back into the obscurity of the artist's easel. Weak and +well-meaning people would have desponded under these +circumstances; but your genuine Rogue is a man of elastic +temperament, not easily compressible under any pressure of +disaster. I sent the portrait of Mr. Batterbury to the house of +that distinguished patron, and the Portrait of a Nobleman to the +Pawnbroker's. After this I had plenty of elbow-room in the +studio, and could walk up and down briskly, smoking my pipe, and +thinking about what I should do next. + +I had observed that the generous friend and vagabond brother +artist, whose lodger I now was, never seemed to be in absolute +want of money; and yet the walls of his studio informed me that +nobody bought his pictures. There hung all his great works, +rejected by the Royal Academy, and neglected by the patrons of +Art; and there, nevertheless, was he, blithely plying the brush; +not rich, it is true, but certainly never without money enough in +his pocket for the supply of all his modest wants. Where did he +find his resources? I determined to ask him the question the very +next time he came to the studio. + +"Dick," I said (we called each other by our Christian names), +"where do you get your money?" + +"Frank," he answered, "what makes you ask that question?" + +"Necessity," I proceeded. "My stock of money is decreasing, and I +don't know how to replenish it. My pictures have been turned out +of the exhibition-rooms; nobody comes to sit to me; I can't make +a farthing; and I must try another line in the Arts, or leave +your studio. We are old friends now. I've paid you honestly week +by week; and if you can oblige me, I think you ought. You earn +money somehow. Why can't I?" + +"Are you at all particular?" asked Dick. + +"Not in the least," I answered. + +Dick nodded, and looked pleased; handed me my hat, and put on his +own. + +"You are just the sort of man I like," he remarked, "and I would +sooner trust you than any one else I know. You ask how I contrive +to earn money, seeing that all my pictures are still in my own +possession. My dear fellow, whenever my pockets are empty, and I +want a ten-pound note to put into them, I make an Old Master." + +I stared hard at him, not at first quite understanding what he +meant. + +"The Old Master I can make best," continued Dick, "is Claude +Lorraine, whom you may have heard of occasionally as a famous +painter of classical landscapes. I don't exactly know (he has +been dead so long) how many pictures he turned out, from first to +last; but we will say, for the sake of argument, five hundred. +Not five of these are offered for sale, perhaps, in the course of +five years. Enlightened collectors of old pictures pour into the +market by fifties, while genuine specimens of Claude, or of any +other Old Master you like to mention, only dribble in by ones and +twos. Under these circumstances, what is to be done? Are +unoffending owners of galleries to be subjected to +disappointment? Or are the works of Claude, and the other +fellows, to be benevolently increased in number, to supply the +wants of persons of taste and quality? No man of humanity but +must lean to the latter alternative. The collectors, observe, +don't know anything about it--they buy Claude (to take an +instance from my own practice) as they buy all the other Old +Masters, because of his reputation, not because of the pleasure +they get from his works. Give them a picture with a good large +ruin, fancy trees, prancing nymphs, and a watery sky; dirty it +down dexterously to the right pitch; put it in an old frame; call +it a Claude; and the sphere of the Old Master is enlarged, the +collector is delighted, the picture-dealer is enriched, and the +neglected modern artist claps a joyful hand on a well-filled +pocket. Some men have a knack at making Rembrandts, others have a +turn for Raphaels, Titians, Cuyps, Watteaus, and the rest of +them. Anyhow, we are all made happy--all pleased with each +other--all benefited alike. Kindness is propagated and money is +dispersed. Come along, my boy, and make an Old Master!" + +CHAPTER V. + +HE led the way into the street as he spoke. I felt the +irresistible force of his logic. I sympathized with the ardent +philanthropy of his motives. I burned with a noble ambition to +extend the sphere of the Old Masters. In short, I took the tide +at the flood, and followed Dick. + +We plunged into some by-streets, struck off sharp into a court, +and entered a house by a back door. A little old gentleman in a +black velvet dressing-gown met us in the passage. Dick instantly +presented me: "Mr. Frank Softly--Mr. Ishmael Pickup." The little +old gentleman stared at me distrustfully. I bowed to him with +that inexorable politeness which I first learned under the +instructive fist of Gentleman Jones, and which no force of +adverse circumstances has ever availed to mitigate in after life. +Mr. Ishmael Pickup followed my lead. There is not the least need +to describe him--he was a Jew. + +"Go into the front show-room, and look at the pictures, while I +speak to Mr. Pickup," said Dick, familiarly throwing open a door, +and pushing me into a kind of gallery beyond. I found myself +quite alone, surrounded by modern-antique pictures of all schools +and sizes, of all degrees of dirt and dullness, with all the +names of all the famous Old Masters, from Titian to Teniers, +inscribed on their frames. A "pearly little gem," by Claude, with +a ticket marked "Sold" stuck into the frame, particularly +attracted my attention. It was Dick's last ten-pound job; and it +did credit to the youthful master's abilities as a workman-like +maker of Claudes. + +I have been informed that, since the time of which I am writing, +the business of gentlemen of Mr. Pickup's class has rather fallen +off, and that there are dealers in pictures, nowadays, who are as +just and honorable men as can be found in any profession or +calling, anywhere under the sun. This change, which I report with +sincerity and reflect on with amazement, is, as I suspect, mainly +the result of certain wholesale modern improvements in the +position of contemporary Art, which have necessitated +improvements and alterations in the business of picture-dealing. + +In my time, the encouragers of modern painting were limited in +number to a few noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, who, +in matters of taste, at least, never presumed to think for +themselves. They either inherited or bought a gallery more or +less full of old pictures. It was as much a part of their +education to put their faith in these on hearsay evidence, as to +put their faith in King, Lords and Commons. It was an article of +their creed to believe that the dead painters were the great men, +and that the more the living painters imitated the dead, the +better was their chance of becoming at some future day, and in a +minor degree, great also. At certain times and seasons, these +noblemen and gentlemen self-distrustfully strayed into the +painting-room of a modern artist, self-distrustfully allowed +themselves to be rather attracted by his pictures, +self-distrustfully bought one or two of them at prices which +would appear so incredibly low, in these days, that I really +cannot venture to quote them. The picture was sent home; the +nobleman or gentleman (almost always an amiable and a hospitable +man) would ask the artist to his house and introduce him to the +distinguished individuals who frequented it; but would never +admit his picture, on terms of equality, into the society even of +the second-rate Old Masters. His work was hung up in any +out-of-the-way corner of the gallery that could be found; it had +been bought under protest; it was admitted by sufferance; its +freshness and brightness damaged it terribly by contrast with the +dirtiness and the dinginess of its elderly predecessors; and its +only points selected for praise were those in which it most +nearly resembled the peculiar mannerism of some Old Master, not +those in which it resembled the characteristics of the old +mistress--Nature. + +The unfortunate artist had no court of appeal that he could turn +to. Nobody beneath the nobleman, or the gentleman of ancient +lineage, so much as thought of buying a modern picture. Nobody +dared to whisper that the Art of painting had in anywise been +improved or worthily enlarged in its sphere by any modern +professors. For one nobleman who was ready to buy one genuine +modern picture at a small price, there were twenty noblemen ready +to buy twenty more than doubtful old pictures at great prices. +The consequence was, that some of the most famous artists of the +English school, whose pictures are now bought at auction sales +for fabulous sums, were then hardly able to make an income. They +were a scrupulously patient and conscientious body of men, who +would as soon have thought of breaking into a house, or +equalizing the distribution of wealth, on the highway, by the +simple machinery of a horse and pistol, as of making Old Masters +to order. They sat resignedly in their lonely studios, surrounded +by unsold pictures which have since been covered again and again +with gold and bank-notes by eager buyers at auctions and +show-rooms, whose money has gone into other than the painter's +pockets---who have never dreamed that the painter had the +smallest moral right to a farthing of it. Year after year, these +martyrs of the brush stood, palette in hand, fighting the old +battle of individual merit against contemporary +dullness--fighting bravely, patiently, independently; and leaving +to Mr. Pickup and his pupils a complete monopoly of all the +profit which could be extracted, in their line of business, from +the feebly-buttoned pocket of the patron, and the inexhaustible +credulity of the connoisseur. + +Now all this is changed. Traders and makers of all kinds of +commodities have effected a revolution in the picture-world, +never dreamed of by the noblemen and gentlemen of ancient +lineage, and consistently protested against to this day by the +very few of them who still remain alive. + +The daring innovators started with the new notion of buying a +picture which they themselves could admire and appreciate, and +for the genuineness of which the artist was still living to +vouch. These rough and ready customers were not to be led by +rules or frightened by precedents; they were not to be easily +imposed upon, for the article they wanted was not to be easily +counterfeited. Sturdily holding to their own opinions, they +thought incessant repetitions of Saints, Martyrs, and Holy +Families, monotonous and uninteresting--and said so. They thought +little pictures of ugly Dutch women scouring pots, and drunken +Dutchmen playing cards, dirty and dear at the price--and said so. +They saw that trees were green in nature, and brown in the Old +Masters, and they thought the latter color not an improvement on +the former--and said so. They wanted interesting subjects; +variety, resemblance to nature; genuineness of the article, and +fresh paint; they had no ancestors whose feelings, as founders of +galleries, it was necessary to consult; no critical gentlemen and +writers of valuable works to snub them when they were in spirits; +nothing to lead them by the nose but their own shrewdness, their +own interests, and their own tastes--so they turned their backs +valiantly on the Old Masters, and marched off in a body to the +living men. + +From that time good modern pictures have risen in the scale. Even +as articles of commerce and safe investments for money, they have +now (as some disinterested collectors who dine at certain annual +dinners I know of, can testify) distanced the old pictures in the +race. The modern painters who have survived the brunt of the +battle, have lived to see pictures for which they once asked +hundreds, selling for thousands, and the young generation making +incomes by the brush in one year, which it would have cost the +old heroes of the easel ten to accumulate. The posterity of Mr. +Pickup still do a tolerable stroke of business (making bright +modern masters for the market which is glutted with the dingy old +material), and will, probably, continue to thrive and multiply in +the future: the one venerable institution of this world which we +can safely count upon as likely to last, being the institution of +human folly. Nevertheless, if a wise man of the reformed taste +wants a modern picture, there are places for him to go to now +where he may be sure of getting it genuine; where, if the artist +is not alive to vouch for his work, the facts at any rate have +not had time to die which vouch for the dealer who sells it. In +my time matters were rather different. The painters _we_ throve +by had died long enough ago for pedigrees to get confused, and +identities disputable; and if I had been desirous of really +purchasing a genuine Old Master for myself--speaking as a +practical man--I don't know where I should have gone to ask for +one, or whose judgment I could have safely relied on to guard me +from being cheated, before I bought it. + + + +We are stopping a long time in the picture-gallery, you will say. +I am very sorry--but we must stay a little longer, for the sake +of a living picture, the gem of the collection. + +I was still admiring Mr. Pickup's Old Masters, when a dirty +little boy opened the door of the gallery, and introduced a young +lady. + +My heart--fancy my having a heart!--gave one great bound in me. I +recognized the charming person whom I had followed in the street. + +Her veil was not down this time. All the beauty of her large, +soft, melancholy, brown eyes beamed on me. Her delicate +complexion became suddenly suffused with a lovely rosy flush. Her +glorious black hair--no! I will make an effort, I will suppress +my ecstasies. Let me only say that she evidently recognized me. +Will you believe it?--I felt myself coloring as I bowed to her. I +never blushed before in my life. What a very curious sensation it +is! + +The horrid boy claimed her attention with a grin. + +"Master's engaged," he said. "Please to wait here." + +"I don't wish to disturb Mr. Pickup," she answered. + +What a voice! No! I am drifting back into ecstasies: her voice +was worthy of her--I say no more. + +"If you will be so kind as to show him this," she proceeded; "he +knows what it is. And please say, my father is very ill and very +anxious. It will be quite enough if Mr. Pickup will only send me +word by you--Yes or No." + +She gave the boy an oblong slip of stamped paper. Evidently a +promissory note. An angel on earth, sent by an inhuman father, to +ask a Jew for discount! Monstrous! + +The boy disappeared with the message. + +I seized my opportunity of speaking to her. Don't ask me what I +said! Never before (or since) have I talked such utter nonsense, +with such intense earnestness of purpose and such immeasurable +depth of feeling. Do pray remember what you said yourself, the +first time you had the chance of opening your heart to _your_ +young lady. The boy returned before I had half done, and gave her +back the odious document. + +"Mr. Pickup's very sorry, miss. The answer is, No." + +She lost all her lovely color, and sighed, and turned away. As +she pulled down her veil, I saw the tears in her eyes. Did that +piteous spectacle partially deprive me of my senses? I actually +entreated her to let me be of some use--as if I had been an old +friend, with money enough in my pocket to discount the note +myself. She brought me back to my senses with the utmost +gentleness. + +"I am afraid you forget, sir, that we are strangers. +Good-morning." + +I followed her to the door. I asked leave to call on her father, +and satisfy him about myself and my family connections. She only +answered that her father was too ill to see visitors. I went out +with her on to the landing. She turned on me sharply for the +first time. + +"You can see for yourself, sir, that I am in great distress. I +appeal to you, as a gentleman, to spare me." + +If you still doubt whether I was really in love, let the facts +speak for themselves. I hung my head, and let her go. + +When I returned alone to the picture-gallery--when I remembered +that I had not even had the wit to improve my opportunity by +discovering her name and address--I did really and seriously ask +myself if these were the first symptoms of softening of the +brain. I got up, and sat down again. I, the most audacious man of +my age in London, had behaved like a bashful boy! Once more I had +lost her--and this time, also, I had nobody but myself to blame +for it. + +These melancholy meditations were interrupted by the appearance +of my friend, the artist, in the picture-gallery. He approached +me confidentially, and spoke in a mysterious whisper. + +"Pickup is suspicious," he said; "and I have had all the +difficulty in the world to pave your way smoothly for you at the +outset. However, if you can contrive to make a small Rembrandt, +as a specimen, you may consider yourself employed here until +further notice. I am obliged to particularize Rembrandt, because +he is the only Old Master disengaged at present. The professional +gentleman who used to do him died the other day in the Fleet--he +had a turn for Rembrandts, and can't be easily replaced. Do you +think you could step into his shoes? It's a peculiar gift, like +an ear for music, or a turn for mathematics. Of course you will +be put up to the simple elementary rules, and will have the +professional gentleman's last Rembrandt as a guide; the rest +depends, my dear friend, on your powers of imitation. Don't be +discouraged by failures, but try again and again; and mind you +are dirty and dark enough. You have heard a great deal about the +light and shade of Rembrandt-- Remember always that, in your +case, light means dusky yellow, and shade dense black; remember +that, and--" + +"No pay," said the voice of Mr. Pickup behind me; "no pay, my +dear, unlesh your Rembrandt ish good enough to take me in--even +me, Ishmael, who dealsh in pictersh and knowsh what'sh what." + +What did I care about Rembrandt at that moment? I was thinking of +my lost young lady; and I should probably have taken no notice of +Mr. Pickup, if it had not occurred to me that the old wretch must +know her father's name and address. I at once put the question. +The Jew grinned, and shook his grisly head. "Her father'sh in +difficultiesh, and mum's the word, my dear." To that answer he +adhered, in spite of all that I could say to him. + +With equal obstinacy I determined, sooner or later, to get my +information. + +I took service under Mr. Pickup, purposing to make myself +essential to his prosperity, in a commercial sense--and then to +threaten him with offering my services to a rival manufacturer of +Old Masters, unless he trusted me with the secret of the name and +address. My plan looked promising enough at the time. But, as +some wise person has said, Man is the sport of circumstances. Mr. +Pickup and I parted company unexpectedly, on compulsion. And, of +all the people in the world, my grandmother, Lady Malkinshaw, was +the unconscious first cause of the events which brought me and +the beloved object together again, for the third time! + +CHAPTER VI. + +ON the next day, I was introduced to the Jew's workshop, and to +the eminent gentlemen occupying it. My model Rembrandt was put +before me; the simple elementary rules were explained; and my +materials were all placed under my hands. + +Regard for the lovers of the Old Masters, and for the moral +well-being of society, forbids me to be particular about the +nature of my labors, or to go into dangerous detail on the +subject of my first failures and my subsequent success. I may, +however, harmlessly admit that my Rembrandt was to be of the +small or cabinet size, and that, as there was a run on +Burgomasters just then, my subject was naturally to be of the +Burgomaster sort. Three parts of my picture consisted entirely of +different shades of dirty brown and black; the fourth being +composed of a ray of yellow light falling upon the wrinkled face +of a treacle-colored old man. A dim glimpse of a hand, and a +faint suggestion of something like a brass washhand + basin, completed the job, which gave great satisfaction to Mr. +Pickup, and which was described in the catalogue as-- + + + +"A Burgomaster at Breakfast. Originally in the collection of +Mynheer Van Grubb. Amsterdam. A rare example of the master. Not +engraved. The chiar'oscuro in this extraordinary work is of a +truly sublime character. Price, Two Hundred Guineas." + + + +I got five pounds for it. I suppose Mr. Pickup got +one-ninety-five. + +This was perhaps not very encouraging as a beginning, in a +pecuniary point of view. But I was to get five pounds more, if my +Rembrandt sold within a given time. It sold a week after it was +in a fit state to be trusted in the showroom. I got my money, and +began enthusiastically on another Rembrandt--"A Burgomaster's +Wife Poking the Fire." Last time, the chiar'oscuro of the master +had been yellow and black, this time it was to be red and black. +I was just on the point of forcing my way into Mr. Pickup's +confidence, as I had resolved, when a catastrophe happened, which +shut up the shop and abruptly terminated my experience as a maker +of Old Masters. + +"The Burgomaster's Breakfast" had been sold to a new customer, a +venerable connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large +picture-gallery. The old gentleman was in raptures with the +picture--with its tone, with its breadth, with its grand feeling +for effect, with its simple treatment of detail. It wanted +nothing, in his opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. Pickup knew +the raw and ticklish state of the surface, however, far too well, +to allow of even an attempt at performing this process, and +solemnly asserted, that he was acquainted with no cleansing +preparation which could be used on the Rembrandt without danger +of "flaying off the last exquisite glazings of the immortal +master's brush." The old gentleman was quite satisfied with this +reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away his +purchase in his own carriage on the spot. + +For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that +time, a Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer's +office, terrified us all by the information that a gentleman +related to our venerable connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had +pronounced it to be an impudent counterfeit, and had engaged on +his own account to have the picture tested in a court of law, and +to charge the seller and maker thereof with conspiring to obtain +money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I looked at each +other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable piece of +news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my +faculties first; and I was the man who solved that important and +difficult question, while the rest were still utterly bewildered +by it. "Will you promise me five and twenty pounds in the +presence of these gentlemen if I get you out of this scrape?" +said I to my terrified employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty +hands and answered, "Yesh, my dear!" + +Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office +of the lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case +against us; and he was able to tell me some of the things I most +wanted to know in relation to the picture. + +I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our +customer's possession. The old gentleman had consented to the +question of its genuineness being tried, but had far too high an +idea of his own knowledge as a connoisseur to incline to the +opinion that he had been taken in. His suspicious relative was +not staying in the house, but was in the habit of visiting him, +every day, in the forenoon. That was as much as I wanted to know +from others. The rest depended on myself, on luck, time, human +credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge which I had +acquired in the days of my medical studies. I left the conclave +at the picture-dealer's forthwith, and purchased at the nearest +druggist's a bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I +decline to particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the +bottle "The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound"; and I wrapped round it +the following note: + + + +"Mr. Pickup's respectful compliments to Mr.--(let us say, Green). +Is rejoiced to state that he finds himself unexpectedly able to +forward Mr. Green's views relative to the cleaning of 'The +Burgomaster's Breakfast.' The inclosed compound has just reached +him from Amsterdam. It is made from a recipe found among the +papers of Rembrandt himself--has been used with the most +astonishing results on the Master's pictures in every gallery of +Holland, and is now being applied to the surface of the largest +Rembrandt in Mr. P.'s own collection. Directions for use: Lay the +picture flat, pour the whole contents of the bottle over it +gently, so as to flood the entire surface; leave the liquid on +the surface for six hours, then wipe it off briskly with a soft +cloth of as large a size as can be conveniently used. The effect +will be the most wonderful removal of all dirt, and a complete +and brilliant metamorphosis of the present dingy surface of the +picture." + + + +I left this note and the bottle myself at two o'clock that day; +then went home, and confidently awaited the result. + +The next morning our friend from the office called, announcing +himself by a burst of laughter outside the door. Mr. Green had +implicitly followed the directions in the letter the moment he +received it--had allowed the "Amsterdam Cleansing Compound" to +remain on the Rembrandt until eight o'clock in the evening--had +called for the softest linen cloth in the whole house--and had +then, with his own venerable hands, carefully wiped off the +compound, and with it the whole surface of the picture! The +brown, the black, the Burgomaster, the breakfast, and the ray of +yellow light, all came clean off together in considerably less +than a minute of time. If the picture, was brought into court +now, the evidence it could give against us was limited to a bit +of plain panel, and a mass of black pulp rolled up in a duster. + +Our line of defense was, of course, that the compound had been +improperly used. For the rest, we relied with well-placed +confidence on the want of evidence against us. Mr. Pickup wisely +closed his shop for a while, and went off to the Continent to +ransack the foreign galleries. I received my five and twenty +pounds, rubbed out the beginning of my second Rembrandt, closed +the back door of the workshop behind me, and there was another +scene of my life at an end. I had but one circumstance to +regret--and I did regret it bitterly. I was still as ignorant as +ever of the young lady's name and address. + +My first visit was to the studio of my excellent artist-friend, +whom I have already presented to the reader under the sympathetic +name of "Dick." He greeted me with a letter in his hand. It was +addressed to me--it had been left at the studio a few days since; +and (marvel of all marvels!) the handwriting was Mr. +Batterbury's. Had this philanthropic man not done befriending me +even yet? Were there any present or prospective advantages to be +got out of him still? Read his letter, and judge. + + + +"SIR--Although you have forfeited by your ungentlemanly conduct +toward myself, and your heartlessly mischievous reception of my +dear wife, all claim upon the forbearance of the most forbearing +of your relatives, I am disposed, from motives of regard for the +tranquillity of Mrs. Batterbury's family, and of sheer +good-nature so far as I am myself concerned, to afford you one +more chance of retrieving your position by leading a respectable +life. The situation I am enabled to offer you is that of +secretary to a new Literary and Scientific Institution, about to +be opened in the town of Duskydale, near which neighborhood I +possess, as you must be aware, some landed property. The office +has been placed at my disposal, as vice-president of the new +Institution. The salary is fifty pounds a year, with apartments +on the attic-floor of the building. The duties are various, and +will be explained to you by the local committee, if you choose to +present yourself to them with the inclosed letter of +introduction. After the unscrupulous manner in which you have +imposed on my liberality by deceiving me into giving you fifty +pounds for a n audacious caricature of myself, which it is +impossible to hang up in any room of the house, I think this +instance of my forgiving disposition still to befriend you, after +all that has happened, ought to appeal to any better feelings +that you may still have left, and revive the long dormant +emotions of repentance and self-reproach, when you think on your +obedient servant, + + +"DANIEL BATTERBURY." + +Bless me! What A long-winded style, and what a fuss about fifty +pounds a year, and a bed in an attic! These were naturally the +first emotions which Mr. Batterbury's letter produced in me. What +was his real motive for writing it? I hope nobody will do me so +great an injustice as to suppose that I hesitated for one instant +about the way of finding _that_ out. Of course I started off +directly to inquire if Lady Malkinshaw had had another narrow +escape of dying before me. + +"Much better, sir," answered my grandmother's venerable butler, +wiping his lips carefully before he spoke; "her ladyship's health +has been much improved since her accident." + +"Accident!" I exclaimed. "What, another? Lately? Stairs again?" + +"No, sir; the drawing-room window this time," answered the +butler, with semi-tipsy gravity. "Her ladyship's sight having +been defective of late years, occasions her some difficulty in +calculating distances. Three days ago, her ladyship went to look +out of the window, and, miscalculating the distance--" Here the +butler, with a fine dramatic feeling for telling a story, stopped +just before the climax of the narrative, and looked me in the +face with an expression of the deepest sympathy. + +"And miscalculating the distance?" I repeated impatiently. + +"Put her head through a pane of glass," said the butler, in a +soft voice suited to the pathetic nature of the communication. +"By great good fortune her ladyship had been dressed for the day, +and had got her turban on. This saved her ladyship's head. But +her ladyship's neck, sir, had a very narrow escape. A bit of the +broken glass wounded it within half a quarter of an inch of the +carotty artery" (meaning, probably, carotid); "I heard the +medical gentleman say, and shall never forget it to my dying day, +that her ladyship's life had been saved by a hair-breadth. As it +was, the blood lost (the medical gentleman said that, too, sir) +was accidentally of the greatest possible benefit, being +apoplectic, in the way of clearing out the system. Her ladyship's +appetite has been improved ever since--the carriage is out airing +of her at this very moment--likewise, she takes the footman's arm +and the maid's up and downstairs now, which she never would hear +of before this last accident. 'I feel ten years younger' (those +were her ladyship's own words to me, this very day), 'I feel ten +years younger, Vokins, since I broke the drawing-room window.' +And her ladyship looks it!" + +No doubt. Here was the key to Mr. Batterbury's letter of +forgiveness. His chance of receiving the legacy looked now +further off than ever; he could not feel the same confidence as +his wife in my power of living down any amount of starvation and +adversity; and he was, therefore, quite ready to take the first +opportunity of promoting my precious personal welfare and +security, of which he could avail himself, without spending a +farthing of money. I saw it all clearly, and admired the +hereditary toughness of the Malkinshaw family more gratefully +than ever. What should I do? Go to Duskydale? Why not? It didn't +matter to me where I went, now that I had no hope of ever seeing +those lovely brown eyes again. + +I got to my new destination the next day, presented my +credentials, gave myself the full advantage of my high +connections, and was received with enthusiasm and distinction. + +I found the new Institution torn by internal schisms even before +it was opened to the public. Two factious governed it--a grave +faction and a gay faction. Two questions agitated it: the first +referring to the propriety of celebrating the opening season by a +public ball, and the second to the expediency of admitting novels +into the library. The grim Puritan interest of the whole +neighborhood was, of course, on the grave side--against both +dancing and novels, as proposed by local loose thinkers and +latitudinarians of every degree. I was officially introduced to +the debate at the height of the squabble; and found myself one of +a large party in a small room, sitting round a long table, each +man of us with a new pewter inkstand, a new quill pen, and a +clean sheet of foolscap paper before him. Seeing that everybody +spoke, I got on my legs along with the rest, and made a slashing +speech on the loose-thinking side. I was followed by the leader +of the grim faction--an unlicked curate of the largest +dimensions. + +"If there were, so to speak, no other reason against dancing," +said my reverend opponent, "there is one unanswerable objection +to it. Gentlemen! John the Baptist lost his head through +dancing!"' + +Every man of the grim faction hammered delightedly on the table, +as that formidable argument was produced; and the curate sat down +in triumph. I jumped up to reply, amid the counter-cheering of +the loose-thinkers; but before I could say a word the President +of the Institution and the rector of the parish came into the +room. + +They were both men of authority, men of sense, and fathers of +charming daughters, and they turned the scale on the right side +in no time. The question relating to the admission of novels was +postponed, and the question of dancing or no dancing was put to +the vote on the spot. The President, the rector and myself, the +three handsomest and highest-bred men in the assembly, led the +way on the liberal side, waggishly warning all gallant gentlemen +present to beware of disappointing the young ladies. This decided +the waverers, and the waverers decided the majority. My first +business, as Secretary, was the drawing out of a model card of +admission to the ball. + +My next occupation was to look at the rooms provided for me. + +The Duskydale Institution occupied a badly-repaired ten-roomed +house, with a great flimsy saloon built at one side of it, +smelling of paint and damp plaster, and called the Lecture +Theater. It was the chilliest, ugliest, emptiest, gloomiest place +I ever entered in my life; the idea of doing anything but sitting +down and crying in it seemed to me quite preposterous; but the +committee took a different view of the matter, and praised the +Lecture Theater as a perfect ballroom. The Secretary's apartments +were two garrets, asserting themselves in the most barefaced +manner, without an attempt at disguise. If I had intended to do +more than earn my first quarter's salary, I should have +complained. But as I had not the slightest intention of remaining +at Duskydale, I could afford to establish a reputation for +amiability by saying nothing. + +"Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A most +distinguished person, and quite an acquisition to the +neighborhood." Such was the popular opinion of me among the young +ladies and the liberal inhabitants. "Have you seen Mr. Softly, +the new Secretary? A worldly, vainglorious young man. The last +person in England to promote the interests of our new +Institution." Such was the counter-estimate of me among the +Puritan population. I report both opinions quite disinterestedly. +There is generally something to be said on either side of every +question; and, as for me, I can always hold up the scales +impartially, even when my own character is the substance weighing +in them. Readers of ancient history need not be reminded, at this +time of day, that there may be Roman virtue even in a Rogue. + +The objects, interests, and general business of the Duskydale +Institution were matters with which I never thought of troubling +myself on assuming the duties of Secretary. All my energies were +given to the arrangements connected with the opening ball. + +I was elected by acclamation to the office of general manager of +the entertainments; and I did my best to deserve the confidence +reposed in me; leaving literature and science, so far as I was +concerned, perfectly at liberty to advance themselves or not , +just as they liked. Whatever my colleagues may have done, after I +left them, nobody at Duskydale can accuse me of having ever been +accessory to the disturbing of quiet people with useful +knowledge. I took the arduous and universally neglected duty of +teaching the English people how to be amused entirely on my own +shoulders, and left the easy and customary business of making +them miserable to others. + +My unhappy countrymen! (and thrice unhappy they of the poorer +sort)--any man can preach to them, lecture to them, and form them +into classes--but where is the man who can get them to amuse +themselves? Anybody may cram their poor heads; but who will +brighten their grave faces? Don't read story-books, don't go to +plays, don't dance! Finish your long day's work and then +intoxicate your minds with solid history, revel in the +too-attractive luxury of the lecture-room, sink under the soft +temptation of classes for mutual instruction! How many potent, +grave and reverent tongues discourse to the popular ear in these +siren strains, and how obediently and resignedly this same weary +popular ear listens! What if a bold man spring up one day, crying +aloud in our social wilderness, "Play, for Heaven's sake, or you +will work yourselves into a nation of automatons! Shake a loose +leg to a lively fiddle! Women of England! drag the lecturer off +the rostrum, and the male mutual instructor out of the class, and +ease their poor addled heads of evenings by making them dance and +sing with you. Accept no offer from any man who cannot be proved, +for a year past, to have systematically lost his dignity at least +three times a week, after office hours. You, daughters of Eve, +who have that wholesome love of pleasure which is one of the +greatest adornments of the female character, set up a society for +the promotion of universal amusement, and save the British nation +from the lamentable social consequences of its own gravity!" +Imagine a voice crying lustily after this fashion--what sort of +echoes would it find?--Groans? + +I know what sort of echoes my voice found. They were so +discouraging to me, and to the frivolous minority of +pleasure-seekers, that I recommended lowering the price of +admission so as to suit the means of any decent people who were +willing to leave off money-grubbing and tear themselves from the +charms of mutual instruction for one evening at least. The +proposition was indignantly negatived by the managers of the +Institution. I am so singularly obstinate a man that I was not to +be depressed even by this. + +My next efforts to fill the ballroom could not be blamed. I +procured a local directory, put fifty tickets in my pocket, +dressed myself in nankeen pantaloons and a sky-blue coat (then +the height of fashion), and set forth to tout for dancers among +all the members of the genteel population, who, not being +notorious Puritans, had also not been so obliging as to take +tickets for the ball. There never was any pride or bashfulness +about me. Excepting certain periods of suspense and anxiety, I am +as even-tempered a Rogue as you have met with anywhere since the +days of Gil Blas. + +My temperament being opposed to doing anything with regularity, I +opened the directory at hazard, and determined to make my first +call at the first house that caught my eye. Vallombrosa Vale +Cottages. No. 1. Doctor and Miss Dulcifer. Very good. I have no +preferences. Let me sell the first two tickets there. I found the +place; I opened the garden gate; I advanced to the door, +innocently wondering what sort of people I should find inside. + +If I am asked what was the true reason for this extraordinary +activity on my part, in serving the interests of a set of people +for whom I cared nothing, I must honestly own that the loss of my +young lady was at the bottom of it. Any occupation was welcome +which kept my mind, in some degree at least, from dwelling on the +bitter disappointment that had befallen me. When I rang the bell +at No. 1, did I feel no presentiment of the exquisite surprise in +store for me? I felt nothing of the sort. The fact is, my +digestion is excellent. Presentiments are more closely connected +than is generally supposed with a weak state of stomach. + +I asked for Miss Dulcifer, and was shown into the sitting-room. + +Don't expect me to describe my sensations: hundreds of sensations +flew all over me. There she was, sitting alone, near the window! +There she was, with nimble white fingers, working a silk purse! + +The melancholy in her face and manner, when I had last seen her, +appeared no more. She was prettily dressed in maize color, and +the room was well furnished. Her father had evidently got over +his difficulties. I had been inclined to laugh at his odd name, +when I found it in the directory! Now I began to dislike it, +because it was her name, too. It was a consolation to remember +that she could change it. Would she change it for mine? + +I was the first to recover; I boldly drew a chair near her and +took her hand. + +"You see," I said, "it is of no use to try to avoid me. This is +the third time we have met. Will you receive me as a visitor, +under these extraordinary circumstances? Will you give me a +little happiness to compensate for what I have suffered since you +left me?" + +She smiled and blushed. + +"I am so surprised," she answered, "I don't know what to say." + +"Disagreeably surprised?" I asked. + +She first went on with her work, and then replied (a little +sadly, as I thought): + +"No!" + +I was ready enough to take advantage of my opportunities this +time; but she contrived with perfect politeness to stop me. She +seemed to remember with shame, poor soul, the circumstances under +which I had last seen her. + +"How do you come to be at Duskydale?" she inquired, abruptly +changing the subject. "And how did you find us out here?" + +While I was giving her the necessary explanations her father came +in. I looked at him with considerable curiosity. + +A tall stout gentleman with impressive respectability oozing out +of him at every pore--with a swelling outline of +black-waistcoated stomach, with a lofty forehead, with a smooth +double chin resting pulpily on a white cravat. Everything in +harmony about him except his eyes, and these were so sharp, +bright and resolute that they seemed to contradict the bland +conventionality which overspread all the rest of the man. Eyes +with wonderful intelligence and self-dependence in them; perhaps, +also, with something a little false in them, which I might have +discovered immediately under ordinary circumstances: but I looked +at the doctor through the medium of his daughter, and saw nothing +of him at the first glance but his merits. + +"We are both very much indebted to you, sir, for your politeness +in calling," he said, with excessive civility of manner. "But our +stay at this place has drawn to an end. I only came here for the +re-establishment of my daughter's health. She has benefited +greatly by the change of air, and we have arranged to return home +to-morrow. Otherwise, we should have gladly profited by your kind +offer of tickets for the ball." + +Of course I had one eye on the young lady while he was speaking. +She was looking at her father, and a sudden sadness was stealing +over her face. What did it mean? Disappointment at missing the +ball? No, it was a much deeper feeling than that. My interest was +excited. I addressed a complimentary entreaty to the doctor not +to take his daughter away from us. I asked him to reflect on the +irreparable eclipse that he would be casting over the Duskydale +ballroom. To my amazement, she only looked down gloomily on her +work while I spoke; her father laughed contemptuously. + +"We are too completely strangers here," he said, "for our loss to +be felt by any one. From all that I can gather, society in +Duskydale will be glad to hear of our departure. I beg your +pardon, Alicia--I ought to have said _my_ departure." + +Her name was Alicia! I declare it was a luxury to me to hear +it--the name was so appropriate, so suggestive of the grace and +dignity of her beauty. + +I turned toward her when the doctor had done. She looked more +gloomily than before. I protested against the doctor's account of +himself. He laughed again, with a quick distrustful lo ok, this +time, at his daughter. + +"If you were to mention my name among your respectable +inhabitants," he went on, with a strong, sneering emphasis on the +word respectable, "they would most likely purse up their lips and +look grave at it. Since I gave up practice as a physician, I have +engaged in chemical investigations on a large scale, destined I +hope, to lead to some important public results. Until I arrive at +these, I am necessarily obliged, in my own interests, to keep my +experiments secret, and to impose similar discretion on the +workmen whom I employ. This unavoidable appearance of mystery, +and the strictly retired life which my studies compel me to lead, +offend the narrow-minded people in my part of the county, close +to Barkingham; and the unpopularity of my pursuits has followed +me here. The general opinion, I believe, is, that I am seeking by +unholy arts for the philosopher's stone. Plain man, as you see +me, I find myself getting quite the reputation of a Doctor +Faustus in the popular mind. Even educated people in this very +place shake their heads and pity my daughter there for living +with an alchemical parent, within easy smelling-distance of an +explosive laboratory. Excessively absurd, is it not?" + +It might have been excessively absurd, but the lovely Alicia sat +with her eyes on her work, looking as if it were excessively sad, +and not giving her father the faintest answering smile when he +glanced toward her and laughed, as he said his last words. I +could not at all tell what to make of it. The doctor talked of +the social consequences of his chemical inquiries as if he were +living in the middle ages. However, I was far too anxious to see +the charming brown eyes again to ask questions which would be +sure to keep them cast down. So I changed the topic to chemistry +in general; and, to the doctor's evident astonishment and +pleasure, told him of my own early studies in the science. + +This led to the mention of my father, whose reputation had +reached the ears of Doctor Dulcifer. As he told me that, his +daughter looked up--the sun of beauty shone on me again! I +touched next on my high connections, and on Lady Malkinshaw; I +described myself as temporarily banished from home for humorous +caricaturing, and amiable youthful wildness. She was interested; +she smiled--and the sun of beauty shone warmer than ever! I +diverged to general topics, and got brilliant and amusing. She +laughed--the nightingale notes of her merriment bubbled into my +ears caressingly--why could I not shut my eyes and listen to +them? Her color rose; her face grew animated. Poor soul! A little +lively company was but too evidently a rare treat to her. Under +such circumstances, who would not be amusing? If she had said to +me, "Mr. Softly, I like tumbling," I should have made a clown of +myself on the spot. I should have stood on my head (if I could), +and been amply rewarded for the graceful exertion, if the eyes of +Alicia had looked kindly on my elevated heels! + +How long I stayed is more than I can tell. Lunch came up. I eat +and drank, and grew more amusing than ever. When I at last rose +to go, the brown eyes looked on me very kindly, and the doctor +gave me his card. + +"If you don't mind trusting yourself in the clutches of Doctor +Faustus," he said, with a gay smile, "I shall be delighted to see +you if you are ever in the neighborhood of Barkingham." + +I wrung his hand, mentally relinquishing my secretaryship while I +thanked him for the invitation. I put out my hand next to his +daughter, and the dear friendly girl met the advance with the +most charming readiness. She gave me a good, hearty, vigorous, +uncompromising shake. O precious right hand! never did I properly +appreciate your value until that moment. + +Going out with my head in the air, and my senses in the seventh +heaven, I jostled an elderly gentleman passing before the garden +gate. I turned round to apologize; it was my brother in office, +the estimable Treasurer of the Duskydale Institute. + +"I have been half over the town looking after you," he said. "The +Managing Committee, on reflection, consider your plan of +personally soliciting public attendance at the hall to be +compromising the dignity of the Institution, and beg you, +therefore, to abandon it." + +"Very well," said I, "there is no harm done. Thus far, I have +only solicited two persons, Doctor and Miss Dulcifer, in that +delightful little cottage there." + +"You don't mean to say you have asked _them_ to come to the +ball!" + +"To be sure I have. And I am sorry to say they can't accept the +invitation. Why should they not be asked?" + +"Because nobody visits them." + +"And why should nobody visit them?" + +The Treasurer put his arm confidentially through mine, and walked +me on a few steps. + +"In the first place," he said, "Doctor Dulcifer's name is not +down in the Medical List." + +"Some mistake," I suggested, in my off-hand way. "Or some foreign +doctor's degree not recognized by the prejudiced people in +England." + +"In the second place," continued the Treasurer, "we have found +out that he is not visited at Barkingham. Consequently, it would +be the height of imprudence to visit him here." + +"Pooh! pooh! All the nonsense of narrow-minded people, because he +lives a retired life, and is engaged in finding out chemical +secrets which the ignorant public don't know how to appreciate." + +"The shutters are always up in the front top windows of his house +at Barkingham," said the Treasurer, lowering his voice +mysteriously. "I know it from a friend resident near him. The +windows themselves are barred. It is currently reported that the +top of the house, inside, is shut off by iron doors from the +bottom. Workmen are employed there who don't belong to the +neighborhood, who don't drink at the public houses, who only +associate with each other. Unfamiliar smells and noises find +their way outside sometimes. Nobody in the house can be got to +talk. The doctor, as he calls himself, does not even make an +attempt to get into society, does not even try to see company for +the sake of his poor unfortunate daughter. What do you think of +all that?" + +"Think!" I repeated contemptuously; "I think the inhabitants of +Barkingham are the best finders of mares' nests in all England. +The doctor is making important chemical discoveries (the possible +value of which I can appreciate, being chemical myself), and he +is not quite fool enough to expose valuable secrets to the view +of all the world. His laboratory is at the top of the house, and +he wisely shuts it off from the bottom to prevent accidents. He +is one of the best fellows I ever met with, and his daughter is +the loveliest girl in the world. What do you all mean by making +mysteries about nothing? He has given me an invitation to go and +see him. I suppose the next thing you will find out is, that +there is something underhand even in that?" + +"You won't accept the invitation?" + +"I shall, at the very first opportunity; and if you had seen Miss +Alicia, so would you." + +"Don't go. Take my advice and don't go," said the Treasurer, +gravely. "You are a young man. Reputable friends are of +importance to you at the outset of life. I say nothing against +Doctor Dulcifer--he came here as a stranger, and he goes away +again as a stranger--but you can't be sure that his purpose in +asking you so readily to his house is a harmless one. Making a +new acquaintance is always a doubtful speculation; but when a man +is not visited by his respectable neighbors--" + +"Because he doesn't open his shutters," I interposed +sarcastically. + +"Because there are doubts about him and his house which he will +not clear up," retorted the Treasurer. "You can take your own +way. You may turn out right, and we may all be wrong; I can only +say again, it is rash to make doubtful acquaintances. Sooner or +later you are always sure to repent it. In your place I should +certainly not accept the invitation." + +"In my place, my dear sir," I answered, "you would do exactly +what I mean to do." + +The Treasurer took his arm out of mine, and without saying +another word, wished me good-morning. + +CHAPTER VII. + +I HAD spoken confidently enough, while arguing the question of +Doctor Dulcifer's respectability with the Treasurer of the D +uskydale Institution; but, if my perceptions had not been blinded +by my enthusiastic admiration for Alicia, I think I should have +secretly distrusted my own opinion as soon as I was left by +myself. Had I been in full possession of my senses, I might have +questioned, on reflection, whether the doctor's method of +accounting for the suspicions which kept his neighbors aloof from +him, was quite satisfactory. Love is generally described, I +believe, as the tender passion. When I remember the insidiously +relaxing effect of it on all my faculties, I feel inclined to +alter the popular definition, and to call it a moral vapor-bath. + +What the Managing Committee of the Duskydale Institution thought +of the change in me, I cannot imagine. The doctor and his +daughter left the town on the day they had originally appointed, +before I could make any excuse for calling again; and, as a +necessary consequence of their departure, I lost all interest in +the affairs of the ball, and yawned in the faces of the committee +when I was obliged to be present at their deliberations in my +official capacity. + +It was all Alicia with me, whatever they did. I read the Minutes +through a soft medium of maize-colored skirts. Notes of melodious +laughter bubbled, in my mind's ear, through all the drawling and +stammering of our speech-making members. When our dignified +President thought he had caught my eye, and made oratorical +overtures to me from the top of the table, I was lost in the +contemplation of silk purses and white fingers weaving them. I +meant "Alicia" when I said "hear, hear"--and when I officially +produced my subscription list, it was all aglow with the roseate +hues of the marriage-license. If any unsympathetic male readers +should think this statement exaggerated, I appeal to the +ladies--_they_ will appreciate the rigid, yet tender, truth of +it. + +The night of the ball came. I have nothing but the vaguest +recollection of it. + +I remember that the more the perverse lecture theater was warmed +the more persistently it smelled of damp plaster; and that the +more brightly it was lighted, the more overgrown and lonesome it +looked. I can recall to mind that the company assembled numbered +about fifty, the room being big enough to hold three hundred. I +have a vision still before me, of twenty out of these fifty +guests, solemnly executing intricate figure-dances, under the +superintendence of an infirm local dancing-master--a mere speck +of fidgety human wretchedness twisting about in the middle of an +empty floor. I see, faintly, down the dim vista of the Past, an +agreeable figure, like myself, with a cocked hat under its arm, +black tights on its lightly tripping legs, a rosette in its +buttonhole, and an engaging smile on its face, walking from end +to end of the room, in the character of Master of the Ceremonies. +These visions and events I can recall vaguely; and with them my +remembrances of the ball come to a close. It was a complete +failure, and that would, of itself, have been enough to sicken me +of remaining at the Duskydale Institution, even if I had not had +any reasons of the tender sort for wishing to extend my travels +in rural England to the neighborhood of Barkingham. + +The difficulty was how to find a decent pretext for getting away. +Fortunately, the Managing Committee relieved me of any perplexity +on this head, by passing a resolution, one day, which called upon +the President to remonstrate with me on my want of proper +interest in the affairs of the Institution. I replied to the +remonstrance that the affairs of the Institution were so +hopelessly dull that it was equally absurd and unjust to expect +any human being to take the smallest interest in them. At this +there arose an indignant cry of "Resign!" from the whole +committee; to which I answered politely, that I should be +delighted to oblige the gentlemen, and to go forthwith, on +condition of receiving a quarter's salary in the way of previous +compensation. + +After a sordid opposition from an economical minority, my +condition of departure was accepted. I wrote a letter of +resignation, received in exchange twelve pounds ten shillings, +and took my place, that same day, on the box-seat of the +Barkingham mail. + +Rather changeable this life of mine, was it not? Before I was +twenty-five years of age, I had tried doctoring, caricaturing +portrait-painting, old picture-making, and Institution-managing; +and now, with the help of Alicia, I was about to try how a little +marrying would suit me. Surely, Shakespeare must have had me +prophetically in his eye, when he wrote about "one man in his +time playing many parts." What a character I should have made for +him, if he had only been alive now! + +I found out from the coachman, among other matters, that there +was a famous fishing stream near Barkingham; and the first thing +I did, on arriving at the town, was to buy a rod and line. + +It struck me that my safest way of introducing myself would be to +tell Doctor Dulcifer that I had come to the neighborhood for a +little fishing, and so to prevent him from fancying that I was +suspiciously prompt in availing myself of his offered +hospitality. I put up, of course, at the inn--stuck a large +parchment book of flies half in and half out of the pocket of my +shooting-jacket--and set off at once to the doctor's. The waiter +of whom I asked my way stared distrustfully while he directed me. +The people at the inn had evidently heard of my new friend, and +were not favorably disposed toward the cause of scientific +investigation. + +The house stood about a mile out of the town, in a dip of ground +near the famous fishing-stream. It was a lonely, old-fashioned +red-brick building, surrounded by high walls, with a garden and +plantation behind it. + +As I rang at the gate-bell, I looked up at the house. Sure enough +all the top windows in front were closed with shutters and +barred. I was let in by a man in livery; who, however, in manners +and appearance, looked much more like a workman in disguise than +a footman. He had a very suspicious eye, and he fixed it on me +unpleasantly when I handed him my card. + +I was shown into a morning-room exactly like other morning-rooms +in country houses. + +After a long delay the doctor came in, with scientific butchers' +sleeves on his arms, and an apron tied round his portly waist. He +apologized for coming down in his working dress, and said +everything that was civil and proper about the pleasure of +unexpectedly seeing me again so soon. There was something rather +preoccupied, I thought, in those brightly resolute eyes of his; +but I naturally attributed it to the engrossing influence of his +scientific inquiries. He was evidently not at all taken in by my +story about coming to Barkingham to fish; but he saw, as well as +I did, that it would do to keep up appearances, and contrived to +look highly interested immediately in my parchment-book. I asked +after his daughter. He said she was in the garden, and proposed +that we should go and find her. We did find her, with a pair of +scissors in her hand, outblooming the flowers that she was +trimming. She looked really glad to see me--her brown eyes beamed +clear and kindly--she gave my hand another inestimable shake--the +summer breezes waved her black curls gently upward from her +waist--she had on a straw hat and a brown Holland gardening +dress. I eyed it with all the practical interest of a +linendraper. O Brown Holland you are but a coarse and cheap +fabric, yet how soft and priceless you look when clothing the +figure of Alicia! + +I lunched with them. The doctor recurred to the subject of my +angling intentions, and asked his daughter if she had heard what +parts of the stream at Barkingham were best for fishing in. + +She replied, with a mixture of modest evasiveness and adorable +simplicity, that she had sometimes seen gentlemen angling from a +meadow-bank about a quarter of a mile below her flower-garden. I +risked everything in my usual venturesome way, and asked if she +would show me where the place was, in case I called the next +morning with my fishing-rod. She looked dutifully at her father. +He smiled and nodded. Inestimable parent! + +On rising to take leave, I was rather curious to know whether he +would o ffer me a bed in the house, or not. He detected the +direction of my thoughts in my face and manner, and apologized +for not having a bed to offer me; every spare room in the house +being occupied by his chemical assistants, and by the lumber of +laboratories. Even while he was speaking those few words, +Alicia's face changed just as I had seen it change at our first +interview. The downcast, gloomy expression overspread it again. +Her father's eye wandered toward her when mine did, and suddenly +assumed the same distrustful look which I remembered detecting in +it, under similar circumstances, at Duskydale. What could this +mean? + +The doctor shook hands with me in the hall, leaving the +workman-like footman to open the door. + +I stopped to admire a fine pair of stag's antlers. The footman +coughed impatiently. I still lingered, hearing the doctor's +footsteps ascending the stairs. They suddenly stopped; and then +there was a low heavy clang, like the sound of a closing door +made of iron, or of some other unusually strong material; then +total silence, interrupted by another impatient cough from the +workman-like footman. After that, I thought my wisest proceeding +would be to go away before my mysterious attendant was driven to +practical extremities. + +Between thoughts of Alicia, and inquisitive yearnings to know +more about the doctor's experiments, I passed rather a restless +night at my inn. + +The next morning, I found the lovely mistress of my destiny, with +the softest of shawls on her shoulders, the brightest of parasols +in her hand, and the smart little straw hat of the day before on +her head, ready to show me the way to the fishing-place. If I +could be sure beforehand that these pages would only be read by +persons actually occupied in the making of love--that oldest and +longest-established of all branches of manufacturing industry--I +could go into some very tender and interesting particulars on the +subject of my first day's fishing, under the adorable auspices of +Alicia. But as I cannot hope for a wholly sympathetic +audience--as there may be monks, misogynists, political +economists, and other professedly hard-hearted persons present +among those whom I now address--I think it best to keep to safe +generalities, and to describe my love-making in as few sentences +as the vast, though soft, importance of the subject will allow me +to use. + +Let me confess, then, that I assumed the character of a +fastidious angler, and managed to be a week in discovering the +right place to fish in--always, it is unnecessary to say, under +Alicia's guidance. We went up the stream and down the stream, on +one side. We crossed the bridge, and went up the stream and down +the stream on the other. We got into a punt, and went up the +stream (with great difficulty), and down the stream (with great +ease). We landed on a little island, and walked all round it, and +inspected the stream attentively from a central point of view. We +found the island damp, and went back to the bank, and up the +stream, and over the bridge, and down the stream again; and then, +for the first time, the sweet girl turned appealingly to me, and +confessed that she had exhausted her artless knowledge of the +locality. It was exactly a week from the day when I had first +followed her into the fields with my fishing-rod over my +shoulder; and I had never yet caught anything but Alicia's hand, +and that not with my hook. + +We sat down close together on the bank, entirely in consequence +of our despair at not finding a good fishing-place. I looked at +the brown eyes, and they turned away observantly down the stream. +I followed them, and they turned away inquiringly up the stream. +Was this angel of patience and kindness still looking for a +fishing place? And was it _up_ the stream, after all? No! --she +smiled and shook her head when I asked the question, and the +brown eyes suddenly stole a look at me. I could hold out no +longer In one breathless moment I caught hold of both her +hands--in one stammering sentence I asked her if she would be my +wife. + +She tried faintly to free her hands--gave up the +attempt--smiled--made an effort to look grave--gave that up, +too--sighed suddenly--checked herself suddenly--said nothing. +Perhaps I ought to have taken my answer for granted; but the +least business-like man that ever lived becomes an eminently +practical character in matters of love. I repeated my question. +She looked away confusedly; her eye lighted on a corner of her +father's red-brick house, peeping through a gap in the plantation +already mentioned; and her blushing cheeks lost their color +instantly. I felt her hands grow cold; she drew them resolutely +out of mine, and rose with the tears in her eyes. Had I offended +her? + +"No," she said when I asked her the question, and turned to me +again, and held out her hand with such frank, fearless kindness, +that I almost fell on my knees to thank her for it. + +Might I hope ever to hear her say "Yes" to the question that I +had asked on the riverbank? + +She sighed bitterly, and turned again toward the red-brick house. + +Was there any family reason against her saying "Yes"? Anything +that I must not inquire into? Any opposition to be dreaded from +her father? + +The moment I mentioned her father, she shrank away from me and +burst into a violent fit of crying. + +"Don't speak of it again!" she said in a broken voice. "I +mustn't--you mustn't--ah, don't, don't say a word more about it! +I'm not distressed with you--it is not your fault. Don't say +anything--leave me quiet for a minute. I shall soon be better it +you leave me quiet." + +She dried her eyes directly, with a shiver as if it was cold, and +took my arm. I led her back to the house-gate; and then, feeling +that I could not go in to lunch as usual, after what had +happened, said I would return to the fishing-place. + +"Shall I come to dinner this evening?" I asked, as I rang the +gate-bell for her. + +"Oh, yes--yes!--do come, or he--" + +The mysterious man-servant opened the door, and we parted before +she could say the next words. + +CHAPTER VIII. + +I WENT back to the fishing-place with a heavy heart, overcome by +mournful thoughts, for the first time in my life. It was plain +that she did not dislike me, and equally plain that there was +some obstacle connected with her father, which forbade her to +listen to my offer of marriage. From the time when she had +accidentally looked toward the red-brick house, something in her +manner which it is quite impossible to describe, had suggested to +my mind that this obstacle was not only something she could not +mention, but something that she was partly ashamed of, partly +afraid of, and partly doubtful about. What could it be? How had +she first known it? In what way was her father connected with it? + +In the course of our walks she had told me nothing about herself +which was not perfectly simple and unsuggestive. + +Her childhood had been passed in England. After that, she had +lived with her father and mother at Paris, where the doctor had +many friends--for all of whom she remembered feeling more or less +dislike, without being able to tell why. They had then come to +England, and had lived in lodgings in London. For a time they had +been miserably poor. But, after her mother's death--a sudden +death from heart disease--there had come a change in their +affairs, which she was quite unable to explain. They had removed +to their present abode, to give the doctor full accommodation for +the carrying on of his scientific pursuits. He often had occasion +to go to London; but never took her with him. The only woman at +home now, beside herself, was an elderly person, who acted as +cook and housekeeper, and who had been in their service for many +years. It was very lonely sometimes not having a companion of her +own age and sex; but she had got tolerably used to bear it, and +to amuse herself with her books, and music, and flowers. + +Thus far she chatted about herself quite freely; but when I +tried, even in the vaguest manner, to lead her into discussing +the causes of her strangely secluded life, she looked so +distressed, and became so suddenly silent, that I naturally +refrained from saying another word on that topic. One conclusion, +however, I felt tolera bly sure that I had drawn correctly from +what she said: her father's conduct toward her, though not +absolutely blamable or grossly neglectful on any point, had still +never been of a nature to make her ardently fond of him. He +performed the ordinary parental duties rigidly and respectably +enough; but he had apparently not cared to win all the filial +love which his daughter would have bestowed on a more +affectionate man. + +When, after reflecting on what Alicia had told me, I began to +call to mind what I had been able to observe for myself, I found +ample materials to excite my curiosity in relation to the doctor, +if not my distrust. + +I have already described how I heard the clang of the heavy door, +on the occasion of my first visit to the red-brick house. The +next day, when the doctor again took leave of me in the hall, I +hit on a plan for seeing the door as well as hearing it. I +dawdled on my way out, till I heard the clang again; then +pretended to remember some important message which I had +forgotten to give to the doctor, and with a look of innocent +hurry ran upstairs to overtake him. The disguised workman ran +after me with a shout of "Stop!" I was conveniently deaf to +him--reached the first floor landing--and arrived at a door which +shut off the whole staircase higher up; an iron door, as solid as +if it belonged to a banker's strong-room, and guarded millions of +money. I returned to the hall, inattentive to the servant's not +over-civil remonstrances, and, saying that I would wait till I +saw the doctor again, left the house. + +The next day two pale-looking men, in artisan costume, came up to +the gate at the same time as I did, each carrying a long wooden +box under his arm, strongly bound with iron. I tried to make them +talk while we were waiting for admission, but neither of them +would go beyond "Yes," or "No"; and both had, to my eyes, some +unmistakably sinister lines in their faces. The next day the +houskeeping cook came to the door--a buxom old woman with a look +and a ready smile, and something in her manner which suggested +that she had not begun life quite so respectably as she was now +ending it. She seemed to be decidedly satisfied with my personal +appearance; talked to me on indifferent matters with great +glibness; but suddenly became silent and diplomatic the moment I +looked toward the stair and asked innocently if she had to go up +and down them often in the course of the day. As for the doctor +himself he was unapproachable on the subject of the mysterious +upper regions. If I introduced chemistry in general into the +conversation he begged me not to spoil his happy holiday hours +with his daughter and me, by leading him back to his work-a-day +thoughts. If I referred to his own experiments in particular he +always made a joke about being afraid of my chemical knowledge, +and of my wishing to anticipate him in his discoveries. In brief, +after a week's run of the lower regions, the upper part of the +red-brick house and the actual nature of its owner's occupations +still remained impenetrable mysteries to me, pry, ponder, and +question as I might. + +Thinking of this on the river-bank, in connection with the +distressing scene which I had just had with Alicia, I found that +the mysterious obstacle at which she had hinted, the mysterious +life led by her father, and the mysterious top of the house that +had hitherto defied my curiosity, all three connected themselves +in my mind as links of the same chain. The obstacle to my +marrying Alicia was the thing that most troubled me. If I only +found out what it was, and if I made light of it (which I was +resolved beforehand to do, let it be what it might), I should +most probably end by overcoming her scruples, and taking her away +from the ominous red-brick house in the character of my wife. But +how was I to make the all-important discovery? + +Cudgeling my brains for an answer to this question, I fell at +last into reasoning upon it, by a process of natural logic, +something after this fashion: The mysterious top of the house is +connected with the doctor, and the doctor is connected with the +obstacle which has made wretchedness between Alicia and me. If I +can only get to the top of the house, I may get also to the root +of the obstacle. It is a dangerous and an uncertain experiment; +but, come what may of it, I will try and find out, if human +ingenuity can compass the means, what Doctor Dulcifer's +occupation really is, on the other side of that iron door. + +Having come to this resolution (and deriving, let me add, +parenthetically, great consolation from it), the next subject of +consideration was the best method of getting safely into the top +regions of the house. + +Picking the lock of the iron door was out of the question, from +the exposed nature of the situation which that mysterious iron +barrier occupied. My only possible way to the second floor lay by +the back of the house. I had looked up at it two or three times, +while walking in the garden after dinner with Alicia. What had I +brought away in my memory as the result of that casual inspection +of my host's back premises? Several fragments of useful +information. + +In the first place, one of the most magnificent vines I had ever +seen grew against the back wall of the house, trained carefully +on a strong trellis-work. In the second place, the middle +first-floor back window looked out on a little stone balcony, +built on the top of the porch over the garden door. In the third +place, the back windows of the second floor had been open, on +each occasion when I had seen them--most probably to air the +house, which could not be ventilated from the front during the +hot summer weather, in consequence of the shut-up condition of +all the windows thereabouts. In the fourth place, hard by the +coach-house in which Doctor Dulcifer's neat gig was put up, there +was a tool-shed, in which the gardener kept his short +pruning-ladder. In the fifth and last place, outside the stable +in which Doctor Dulcifer's blood mare lived in luxurious +solitude, was a dog-kennel with a large mastiff chained to it +night and day. If I could only rid myself of the dog--a gaunt, +half-starved brute, made savage and mangy by perpetual +confinement--I did not see any reason to despair of getting in +undiscovered at one of the second-floor windows--provided I +waited until a sufficiently late hour, and succeeded in scaling +the garden wall at the back of the house. + +Life without Alicia being not worth having, I determined to risk +the thing that very night. + +Going back at once to the town of Barkingham, I provided myself +with a short bit of rope, a little bull's-eye lantern, a small +screwdriver, and a nice bit of beef chemically adapted for the +soothing of troublesome dogs. I then dressed, disposed of these +things neatly in my coat pockets, and went to the doctor's to +dinner. In one respect, Fortune favored my audacity. It was the +sultriest day of the whole season--surely they could not think of +shutting up the second-floor back windows to-night! + +Alicia was pale and silent. The lovely brown eyes, when they +looked at me, said as plainly as in words, "We have been crying a +great deal, Frank, since we saw you last." The little white +fingers gave mine a significant squeeze--and that was all the +reference that passed between us to what happened in the morning. +She sat through the dinner bravely; but, when the dessert came, +left us for the night, with a few shy, hurried words about the +excessive heat of the weather being too much for her. I rose to +open the door, and exchanged a last meaning look with her, as she +bowed and went by me. Little did I think that I should have to +live upon nothing but the remembrance of that look for many weary +days that were yet to come. + +The doctor was in excellent spirits, and almost oppressively +hospitable. We sat sociably chatting over our claret till past +eight o'clock. Then my host turned to his desk to write a letter +before the post want out; and I strolled away to smoke a cigar in +the garden. + +Second-floor back windows all open, atmosphere as sultry as ever, +gardener's pruning-ladder quite safe in the tool-shed, savage +mastiff in his kennel crunching his bones for supper. Good. The +dog will not be visited again tonight: I may throw my medicated +bit of beef at once into his kennel. I acted on the idea +immediately; the dog seized his piece of beef; I heard a snap, a +wheeze, a choke, and a groan--and there was the mastiff disposed +of, inside the kennel, where nobody could find out that he was +dead till the time came for feeding him the next morning. + +I went back to the doctor; we had a social glass of cold +brandy-and-water together; I lighted another cigar, and took my +leave. My host being too respectable a man not to keep early +country hours, I went away, as usual, about ten. The mysterious +man-servant locked the gate behind me. I sauntered on the road +back to Barkingham for about five minutes, then struck off sharp +for the plantation, lighted my lantern with the help of my cigar +and a brimstone match of that barbarous period, shut down the +slide again, and made for the garden wall. + +It was formidably high, and garnished horribly with broken +bottles; but it was also old, and when I came to pick at the +mortar with my screw-driver, I found it reasonably rotten with +age and damp. + +I removed four bricks to make footholes in different positions up +the wall. It was desperately hard and long work, easy as it may +sound in description--especially when I had to hold on by the top +of the wall, with my flat opera hat (as we used to call it in +those days) laid, as a guard, between my hand and the glass, +while I cleared a way through the sharp bottle-ends for my other +hand and my knees. This done, my great difficulty was vanquished; +and I had only to drop luxuriously into a flower-bed on the other +side of the wall. + +Perfect stillness in the garden: no sign of a light anywhere at +the back of the house: first-floor windows all shut: second-floor +windows still open. I fetched the pruning-ladder; put it against +the side of the porch; tied one end of my bit of rope to the top +round of it; took the other end in my mouth, and prepared to +climb to the balcony over the porch by the thick vine branches +and the trellis-work. + +No man who has had any real experience of life can have failed to +observe how amazingly close, in critical situations, the +grotesque and the terrible, the comic and the serious, contrive +to tread on each other's heels. At such times, the last thing we +ought properly to think of comes into our heads, or the least +consistent event that could possibly be expected to happen does +actually occur. When I put my life in danger on that memorable +night, by putting my foot on the trellis-work, I absolutely +thought of the never-dying Lady Malkinshaw plunged in refreshing +slumber, and of the frantic exclamations Mr. Batterbury would +utter if he saw what her ladyship's grandson was doing with his +precious life and limbs at that critical moment. I am no hero--I +was fully aware of the danger to which I was exposing myself; and +yet I protest that I caught myself laughing under my breath, with +the most outrageous inconsistency, at the instant when I began +the ascent of the trellis-work. + +I reached the balcony over the porch in safety, depending more +upon the tough vine branches than the trellis-work during my +ascent. My next employment was to pull up the pruning-ladder, as +softly as possible, by the rope which I held attached to it. This +done, I put the ladder against the house wall, listened, measured +the distance to the open second-floor window with my eye, +listened again--and, finding all quiet, began my second and last +ascent. The ladder was comfortably long, and I was conveniently +tall; my hand was on the window-sill--I mounted another two +rounds--and my eyes were level with the interior of the room. + +Suppose any one should be sleeping there! + +I listened at the window attentively before I ventured on taking +my lantern out of my coatpocket. The night was so quite and +airless that there was not the faintest rustle among the leaves +in the garden beneath me to distract my attention. I listened. +The breathing of the lightest of sleepers must have reached my +ear, through that intense stillness, if the room had been a +bedroom, and the bed were occupied. I heard nothing but the quick +beat of my own heart. The minutes of suspense were passing +heavily--I laid my other hand over the window-sill, then a moment +of doubt came--doubt whether I should carry the adventure any +further. I mastered my hesitation directly--it was too late for +second thoughts. "Now for it!" I whispered to myself, and got in +at the window. + +To wait, listening again, in the darkness of that unknown region, +was more than I had courage for. The moment I was down on the +floor, I pulled the lantern out of my pocket and raised the +shade. + +So far, so good--I found myself in a dirty lumber-room. Large +pans, some of them cracked and more of them broken; empty boxes +bound with iron, of the same sort as those I had seen the workmen +bringing in at the front gate; old coal sacks; a packing-case +full of coke; and a huge, cracked, mouldy blacksmith's +bellows--these were the principal objects that I observed in the +lumber-room. The one door leading out of it was open, as I had +expected it would be, in order to let the air through the back +window into the house. I took off my shoes, and stole into the +passage. My first impulse, the moment I looked along it, was to +shut down my lantern-shade, and listen again. + +Still I heard nothing; but at the far end of the passage I saw a +bright light pouring through the half-opened door of one of the +mysterious front rooms. + +I crept softly toward it. A decidedly chemical smell began to +steal into my nostrils--and, listening again, I thought I heard +above me, and in some distant room, a noise like the low growl of +a large furnace, muffled in some peculiar manner. Should I +retrace my steps in that direction? No--not till I had seen +something of the room with the bright light, outside of which I +was now standing. I bent forward softly; looking by little and +little further and further through the opening of the door, until +my head and shoulders were fairly inside the room, and my eyes +had convinced me that no living soul, sleeping or waking, was in +any part of it at that particular moment. Impelled by a fatal +curiosity, I entered immediately, and began to look about me with +eager eyes. + +I saw iron ladles, pans full of white sand, files with white +metal left glittering in their teeth, molds of plaster of Paris, +bags containing the same material in powder, a powerful machine +with the name and use of which I was theoretically not +unacquainted, white metal in a partially-fused state, bottles of +aquafortis, dies scattered over a dresser, crucibles, sandpaper, +bars of metal, and edged tools in plenty, of the strangest +construction. I was not at all a scrupulous man, as the reader +knows by this time; but when I looked at these objects, and +thought of Alicia, I could not for the life of me help +shuddering. There was not the least doubt about it, even after +the little I had seen: the important chemical pursuits to which +Doctor Dulcifer was devoting himself, meant, in plain English and +in one word--Coining. + +Did Alicia know what I knew now, or did she only suspect it? + +Whichever way I answered that question in my own mind, I could be +no longer at any loss for an explanation of her behavior in the +meadow by the stream, or of that unnaturally gloomy, downcast +look which overspread her face when her father's pursuits were +the subject of conversation. Did I falter in my resolution to +marry her, now that I had discovered what the obstacle was which +had made mystery and wretchedness between us? Certainly not. I +was above all prejudices. I was the least particular of mankind. +I had no family affection in my way--and, greatest fact of all, I +was in love. Under those circumstances what Rogue of any spirit +would have faltered? After the first shock of the discovery was +over, my resolution to be Alicia's husband was settled more +firmly than ever. + +There was a little round table in a corner of the room furthest +from the door, which I had not yet examined. A feverish longing +to look at everything within my reach--to penetrate to the +innermost recesses of the labyrinth in which I had involved +myself--consumed me. I went to the table, and saw upon it, ranged +symmetrically side by side, four objects which looked like thick +rulers wrapped up in silver paper. I opened the paper at the end +of one of the rulers, and found that it was composed of +half-crowns. I had closed the paper again, and was just raising +my head from the table over which it had been bent, when my right +cheek came in contact with something hard and cold. I started +back--looked up--and confronted Doctor Dulcifer, holding a pistol +at my right temple. + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE doctor (like me) had his shoes off. The doctor (like me) had +come in without making the least noise. He cocked the pistol +without saying a word. I felt that I was probably standing face +to face with death, and I too said not a word. We two Rogues +looked each other steadily and silently in the face--he, the +mighty and prosperous villain, with my life in his hands: I, the +abject and poor scamp, waiting his mercy. + +It must have been at least a minute after I heard the click of +the cocked pistol before he spoke. + +"How did you get here?" he asked. + +The quiet commonplace terms in which he put his question, and the +perfect composure and politeness of his manner, reminded me a +little of Gentleman Jones. But the doctor was much the more +respectable-looking man of the two; his baldness was more +intellectual and benevolent; there was a delicacy and propriety +in the pulpiness of his fat white chin, a bland bagginess in his +unwhiskered cheeks, a reverent roughness about his eyebrows and a +fullness in his lower eyelids, which raised him far higher, +physiognomically speaking, in the social scale, than my old +prison acquaintance. Put a shovel-hat on Gentleman Jones, and the +effect would only have been eccentric; put the same covering on +the head of Doctor Dulcifer, and the effect would have been +strictly episcopal. + +"How did you get here?" he repeated, still without showing the +least irritation. + +I told him how I had got in at the second-floor window, without +concealing a word of the truth. The gravity of the situation, and +the sharpness of the doctor's intellects, as expressed in his +eyes, made anything like a suppression of facts on my part a +desperately dangerous experiment. + +"You wanted to see what I was about up here, did you?" said he, +when I had ended my confession. "Do you know?" + +The pistol barrel touched my cheek as he said the last words. I +thought of all the suspicious objects scattered about the room, +of the probability that he was only putting this question to try +my courage, of the very likely chance that he would shoot me +forthwith, if I began to prevaricate. I thought of these things, +and boldly answered: + +"Yes, I do know." + +He looked at me reflectively; then said, in low, thoughtful +tones, speaking, not to me, but entirely to himself: + +"Suppose I shoot him?" + +I saw in his eye, that if I flinched, he would draw the trigger. + +"Suppose you trust me?" I said, without moving a muscle. + +"I trusted you, as an honest man, downstairs, and I find you, +like a thief, up here," returned the doctor, with a +self-satisfied smile at the neatness of his own retort. "No," he +continued, relapsing into soliloquy: "there is risk every way; +but the least risk perhaps is to shoot him." + +"Wrong," said I. "There are relations of mine who have a +pecuniary interest in my life. I am the main condition of a +contingent reversion in their favor. If I am missed, I shall be +inquired after." I have wondered since at my own coolness in the +face of the doctor's pistol; but my life depended on my keeping +my self-possession, and the desperate nature of the situation +lent me a desperate courage. + +"How do I know you are not lying?" he asked. + +"Have I not spoken the truth, hitherto?" + +Those words made him hesitate. He lowered the pistol slowly to +his side. I began to breathe freely. + +"Trust me," I repeated. "If you don't believe I would hold my +tongue about what I have seen here, for your sake, you may be +certain that I would for--" + +"For my daughter's," he interposed, with a sarcastic smile. + +I bowed with all imaginable cordiality. The doctor waved his +pistol in the air contemptuously. + +"There are two ways of making you hold your tongue," he said. +"The first is shooting you; the second is making a felon of you. +On consideration, after what you have said, the risk in either +case seems about equal. I am naturally a humane man; your family +have done me no injury; I will not be the cause of their losing +money; I won't take your life, I'll have your character. We are +all felons on this floor of the house. You have come among +us--you shall be one of us. Ring that bell." + +He pointed with the pistol to a bell-handle behind me. I pulled +it in silence. + +Felon! The word has an ugly sound--a very ugly sound. But, +considering how near the black curtain had been to falling over +the adventurous drama of my life, had I any right to complain of +the prolongation of the scene, however darkly it might look at +first? Besides, some of the best feelings of our common nature +(putting out of all question the value which men so unaccountably +persist in setting on their own lives), impelled me, of +necessity, to choose the alternative of felonious existence in +preference to that of respectable death. Love and Honor bade me +live to marry Alicia; and a sense of family duty made me shrink +from occasioning a loss of three thousand pounds to my +affectionate sister. Perish the far-fetched scruples which would +break the heart of one lovely woman, and scatter to the winds the +pin-money of another! + +"If you utter one word in contradiction of anything I say when my +workmen come into the room," said the doctor, uncocking his +pistol as soon as I had rung the bell, "I shall change my mind +about leaving your life and taking your character. Remember that; +and keep a guard on your tongue." + +The door opened, and four men entered. One was an old man whom I +had not seen before; in the other three I recognized the +workman-like footman, and the two sinister artisans whom I had +met at the house-gate. They all started, guiltily enough, at +seeing me. + +"Let me introduce you," said the doctor, taking me by the arm. +"Old File and Young File, Mill and Screw--Mr. Frank Softly. We +have nicknames in this workshop, Mr. Softly, derived humorously +from our professional tools and machinery. When you have been +here long enough, you will get a nickname, too. Gentlemen," he +continued, turning to the workmen, "this is a new recruit, with a +knowledge of chemistry which will be useful to us. He is +perfectly well aware that the nature of our vocation makes us +suspicious of all newcomers, and he, therefore, desires to give +you practical proof that he is to be depended on, by making +half-a-crown immediately, and sending the same up, along with our +handiwork, directed in his own handwriting, to our estimable +correspondents in London. When you have all seen him do this of +his own free will, and thereby put his own life as completely +within the power of the law as we have put ours, you will know +that he is really one of us, and will be under no apprehensions +for the future. Take great pains with him, and as soon as he +turns out a tolerably neat article, from the simple flatted +plates, under your inspection, let me know. I shall take a few +hours' repose on my camp-bed in the study, and shall be found +there whenever you want me." + +He nodded to us all round in the most friendly manner, and left +the room. + +I looked with considerable secret distrust at the four gentlemen +who were to instruct me in the art of making false coin. Young +File was the workman-like footman; Old File was his father; Mill +and Screw were the two sinister artisans. The man of the company +whose looks I liked least was Screw. He had wicked little +twinkling eyes--and they followed me about treacherously whenever +I moved. "You and I, Screw, are likely to quarrel," I thought to +myself, as I tried vainly to stare him out of countenance. + +I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith. Resistance +was useless, and calling for help would have been sheer insanity. +It was midnight; and, even supposing the windows had not been +barred , the house was a mile from any human habitation. +Accordingly, I abandoned myself to fate with my usual +magnanimity. Only let me end in winning Alicia, and I am resigned +to the loss of whatever small shreds and patches of +respectability still hang about me--such was my philosophy. I +wish I could have taken higher moral ground with equally +consoling results to my own feelings. + +The same regard for the well-being of society which led me to +abstain from entering into particulars on the subject of Old +Master-making, when I was apprenticed to Mr. Ishmael Pickup, now +commands me to be equally discreet on the kindred subject of +Half-Crown-making, under the auspices of Old File, Young File, +Mill, and Screw. + +Let me merely record that I was a kind of machine in the hands of +these four skilled workmen. I moved from room to room, and from +process to process, the creature of their directing eyes and +guiding hands. I cut myself, I burned myself, I got speechless +from fatigue, and giddy from want of sleep. In short, the sun of +the new day was high in the heavens before it was necessary to +disturb Doctor Dulcifer. It had absolutely taken me almost as +long to manufacture a half-a-crown feloniously as it takes a +respectable man to make it honestly. This is saying a great deal; +but it is literally true for all that. + +Looking quite fresh and rosy after his night's sleep, the doctor +inspected my coin with the air of a schoolmaster examining a +little boy's exercise; then handed it to Old File to put the +finished touches and correct the mistakes. It was afterward +returned to me. My own hand placed it in one of the rouleaux of +false half-crowns; and my own hand also directed the spurious +coin, when it had been safely packed up, to a certain London +dealer who was to be on the lookout for it by the next night's +mail. That done, my initiation was so far complete. + +"I have sent for your luggage, and paid your bill at the inn," +said the doctor; "of course in your name. You are now to enjoy +the hospitality that I could not extend to you before. A room +upstairs has been prepared for you. You are not exactly in a +state of confinement; but, until your studies are completed, I +think you had better not interrupt them by going out." + +"A prisoner!" I exclaimed aghast. + +"Prisoner is a hard word," answered the doctor. "Let us say, a +guest under surveillance." + +"Do you seriously mean that you intend to keep me shut up in this +part of the house, at your will and pleasure?" I inquired, my +heart sinking lower and lower at every word I spoke. + +"It is very spacious and airy," said the doctor; "as for the +lower part of the house, you would find no company there, so you +can't want to go to it." + +"No company!" I repeated faintly. + +"No. My daughter went away this morning for change of air and +scene, accompanied by my housekeeper. You look astonished, my +dear sir--let me frankly explain myself. While you were the +respectable son of Doctor Softly, and grandson of Lady +Malkinshaw, I was ready enough to let my daughter associate with +you, and should not have objected if you had married her off my +hands into a highly-connected family. Now, however, when you are +nothing but one of the workmen in my manufactory of money, your +social position is seriously altered for the worse; and, as I +could not possibly think of you for a son-in-law, I have +considered it best to prevent all chance of your communicating +with Alicia again, by sending her away from this house while you +are in it. You will be in it until I have completed certain +business arrangements now in a forward state of progress--after +that, you may go away if you please. Pray remember that you have +to thank yourself for the position you now stand in; and do me +the justice to admit that my conduct toward you is remarkably +straightforward, and perfectly natural under all the +circumstances." + +These words fairly overwhelmed me. I did not even make an attempt +to answer them. The hard trials to my courage, endurance, and +physical strength, through which I had passed within the last +twelve hours, had completely exhausted all my powers of +resistance. I went away speechless to my own room; and when I +found myself alone there, burst out crying. Childish, was it not? + +When I had been rested and strengthened by a few hours' sleep, I +found myself able to confront the future with tolerable calmness. + +What would it be best for me to do? Ought I to attempt to make my +escape? I did not despair of succeeding; but when I began to +think of the consequences of success, I hesitated. My chief +object now was, not so much to secure my own freedom, as to find +my way to Alicia. I had never been so deeply and desperately in +love with her as I was now, when I knew she was separated from +me. Suppose I succeeded in escaping from the clutches of Doctor +Dulcifer--might I not be casting myself uselessly on the world, +without a chance of finding a single clew to trace her by? +Suppose, on the other hand, that I remained for the present in +the red-brick house--should I not by that course of conduct be +putting myself in the best position for making discoveries? + +In the first place, there was the chance that Alicia might find +some secret means of communicating with me if I remained where I +was. In the second place, the doctor would, in all probability, +have occasion to write to his daughter, or would be likely to +receive letters from her; and, if I quieted all suspicion on my +account, by docile behavior, and kept my eyes sharply on the +lookout, I might find opportunities of surprising the secrets of +his writing-desk. I felt that I need be under no restraints of +honor with a man who was keeping me a prisoner, and who had made +an accomplice of me by threatening my life. Accordingly, while +resolving to show outwardly an amiable submission to my fate, I +determined at the same time to keep secretly on the watch, and to +take the very first chance of outwitting Doctor Dulcifer that +might happen to present itself. When we next met I was perfectly +civil to him. He was too well-bred a man not to match me on the +common ground of courtesy. + +"Permit me to congratulate you," he said, "on the improvement in +your manner and appearance. You are beginning well, Francis. Go +on as you have begun." + +CHAPTER X. + +MY first few days' experience in my new position satisfied me +that Doctor Dulcifer preserved himself from betrayal by a system +of surveillance worthy of the very worst days of the Holy +Inquisition itself. + +No man of us ever knew that he was not being overlooked at home, +or followed when he went out, by another man. Peepholes were +pierced in the wall of each room, and we were never certain, +while at work, whose eye was observing, or whose ear was +listening in secret. Though we all lived together, we were +probably the least united body of men ever assembled under one +roof. By way of effectually keeping up the want of union between +us, we were not all trusted alike. I soon discovered that Old +File and Young File were much further advanced in the doctor's +confidence than Mill, Screw, or myself. There was a locked-up +room, and a continually-closed door shutting off a back +staircase, of both of which Old File and Young File possessed +keys that were never so much as trusted in the possession of the +rest of us. There was also a trap-door in the floor of the +principal workroom, the use of which was known to nobody but the +doctor and his two privileged men. If we had not been all nearly +on an equality in the matter of wages, these distinctions would +have made bad blood among us. As it was, nobody having reason to +complain of unjustly-diminished wages, nobody cared about any +preferences in which profit was not involved. + +The doctor must have gained a great deal of money by his skill as +a coiner. His profits in business could never have averaged less +than five hundred per cent; and, to do him justice, he was really +a generous as well as a rich master. + +Even I, as a new hand, was, in fair proportion, as well paid by +the week as the rest. + +We, of course, had nothing to do with the passing of false +money--we only manufactured it (sometimes at the rate of four +hundred pounds' worth in a week); and left its circulation to be +managed by our customers in London and the large towns. Whatever +we paid for in Barkingham was paid for in the genuine Mint +coinage. I used often to compare my own true guineas, half-crowns +and shillings with our imitations under the doctor's supervision, +and was always amazed at the resemblance. Our scientific chief +had discovered a process something like what is called +electrotyping nowadays, as I imagine. He was very proud of this; +but he was prouder still of the ring of his metal, and with +reason: it must have been a nice ear indeed that could discover +the false tones in the doctor's coinage. + +If I had been the most scrupulous man in the world, I must still +have received my wages, for the very necessary purpose of not +appearing to distinguish myself invidiously from my +fellow-workmen. Upon the whole, I got on well with them. Old File +and I struck up quite a friendship. Young File and Mill worked +harmoniously with me, but Screw and I (as I had foreboded) +quarreled. + +This last man was not on good terms with his fellows, and had +less of the doctor's confidence than any of the rest of us. +Naturally not of a sweet temper, his isolated position in the +house had soured him, and he rashly attempted to vent his +ill-humor on me, as a newcomer. For some days I bore with him +patiently; but at last he got the better of my powers of +endurance; and I gave him a lesson in manners, one day, on the +educational system of Gentleman Jones. He did not return the +blow, or complain to the doctor; he only looked at me wickedly, +and said: "I'll be even with you for that, some of these days." I +soon forgot the words and the look. + +With Old File, as I have said, I became quite friendly. Excepting +the secrets of our prison-house, he was ready enough to talk on +subjects about which I was curious. + +He had known his present master as a young man, and was perfectly +familiar with all the events of his career. From various +conversations, at odds and ends of spare time, I discovered that +Doctor Dulcifer had begun life as a footman in a gentleman's +family; that his young mistress had eloped with him, taking away +with her every article of value that was her own personal +property, in the shape of jewelry and dresses; that they had +lived upon the sale of these things for some time; and that the +husband, when the wife's means were exhausted, had turned +strolling-player for a year or two. Abandoning that pursuit, he +had next become a quack-doctor, first in a resident, then in a +vagabond capacity--taking a medical degree of his own conferring, +and holding to it as a good traveling title for the rest of his +life. From the selling of quack medicines he had proceeded to the +adulterating of foreign wines, varied by lucrative evening +occupation in the Paris gambling houses. On returning to his +native land, he still continued to turn his chemical knowledge to +account, by giving his services to that particular branch of our +commercial industry which is commonly described as the +adulteration of commodities; and from this he had gradually risen +to the more refined pursuit of adulterating gold and silver--or, +to use the common phrase again, making bad money. + +According to Old File's statement, though Doctor Dulcifer had +never actually ill-used his wife, he had never lived on kind +terms with her: the main cause of the estrangement between them, +in later years, being Mrs. Dulcifer's resolute resistance to her +husband's plans for emerging from poverty, by the simple process +of coining his own money. The poor woman still held fast by some +of the principles imparted to her in happier days; and she was +devotedly fond of her daughter. At the time of her sudden death, +she was secretly making arrangements to leave the doctor, and +find a refuge for herself and her child in a foreign country, +under the care of the one friend of her family who had not cast +her off. Questioning my informant about Alicia next, I found that +he knew very little about her relations with her father in later +years. That she must long since have discovered him to be not +quite so respectable a man as he looked, and that she might +suspect something wrong was going on in the house at the present +time, were, in Old File's opinion, matters of certainty; but that +she knew anything positively on the subject of her father's +occupations, he seemed to doubt. The doctor was not the sort of +man to give his daughter, or any other woman, the slightest +chance of surprising his secrets. + +These particulars I gleaned during one long month of servitude +and imprisonment in the fatal red-brick house. + +During all that time not the slightest intimation reached me of +Alicia's whereabouts. Had she forgotten me? I could not believe +it. Unless the dear brown eyes were the falsest hypocrites in the +world, it was impossible that she should have forgotten me. Was +she watched? Were all means of communicating with me, even in +secret, carefully removed from her? I looked oftener and oftener +into the doctor's study as those questions occurred to me; but he +never quitted it without locking the writing-desk first--he never +left any papers scattered on the table, and he was never absent +from the room at any special times and seasons that could be +previously calculated upon. I began to despair, and to feel in my +lonely moments a yearning to renew that childish experiment of +crying, which I have already adverted to, in the way of +confession. Moralists will be glad to hear that I really suffered +acute mental misery at this time of my life. My state of +depression would have gratified the most exacting of Methodists; +and my penitent face would have made my fortune if I could only +have been exhibited by a reformatory association on the platform +of Exeter Hall. + +How much longer was this to last? Whither should I turn my steps +when I regained my freedom? In what direction throughout all +England should I begin to look for Alicia? + +Sleeping and walking--working and idling--those were now my +constant thoughts. I did my best to prepare myself for every +emergency that could happen; I tried to arm myself beforehand +against every possible accident that could befall me. While I was +still hard at work sharpening my faculties and disciplining my +energies in this way, an accident befell the doctor, on the +possibility of which I had not dared to calculate, even in my +most hopeful moments. + +CHAPTER XI. + +ONE morning I was engaged in the principal workroom with my +employer. We were alone. Old File and his son were occupied in +the garrets. Screw had been sent to Barkingham, accompanied, on +the usual precautionary plan, by Mill. They had been gone nearly +an hour when the doctor sent me into the next room to moisten and +knead up some plaster of Paris. While I was engaged in this +occupation, I suddenly heard strange voices in the large +workroom. My curiosity was instantly excited. I drew back the +little shutter from the peephole in the wall, and looked through +it. + +I saw first my old enemy, Screw, with his villainous face much +paler than usual; next, two respectably-dressed strangers whom he +appeared to have brought into the room; and next to them Young +File, addressing himself to the doctor. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said my friend, the workman-like +footman; "but before these gentlemen say anything for themselves, +I wish to explain, as they seem strangers to you, that I only let +them in after I had heard them give the password. My instructions +are to let anybody in on our side of the door if they can give +the password. No offense, sir, but I want it to be understood +that I have done my duty." + +"Quite right, my man," said the doctor, in his blandest manner. +"You may go back to your work." + +Young File left the room, with a scrutinizing look for the two +strangers and a suspicious frown for Screw. + +"Allow us to introduce ourselves," began the elder of the two +strangers. + +"Pardon me for a moment," interposed the doctor. "Where is Mill?" +he added, turning to Screw. + +"Doing our errands at Barkingham," answered Screw, turning paler +than ever. + +"We happened to meet your two men, and to ask them the way to +your house," said the stranger who had just spoken. "This man, +with a caution that does him infinite credit, required to know +our business before he told us. We managed to introduce the +password--'Happy-go-lucky'--into our answer. This of course +quieted suspicion; and he, at our request, guided us here, +leaving his fellow-workman, as he has just told you, to do all +errands at Barkingham." + +While these words were being spoken, I saw Screw's eyes wandering +discontentedly and amazedly round the room. He had left me in it +with the doctor before he went out: was he disappointed at not +finding me in it on his return? + +While this thought was passing through my mind, the stranger +resumed his explanations. + +"We are here," he said, "as agents appointed to transact private +business, out of London, for Mr. Manasseh, with whom you have +dealings, I think?" + +"Certainly," said the doctor, with a smile. + +"And who owes you a little account, which we are appointed to +settle." + +"Just so!" remarked the doctor, pleasantly rubbing his hands one +over the other. "My good friend, Mr. Manasseh, does not like to +trust the post, I suppose? Very glad to make your acquaintance, +gentlemen. Have you got the little memorandum about you?" + +"Yes; but we think there is a slight inaccuracy in it. Have you +any objection to let us refer to your ledger?" + +"Not the least in the world. Screw, go down into my private +laboratory, open the table-drawer nearest the window, and bring +up a locked book, with a parchment cover, which you will find in +it." + +As Screw obeyed I saw a look pass between him and the two +strangers which made me begin to feel a little uneasy. I thought +the doctor noticed it too; but he preserved his countenance, as +usual, in a state of the most unruffled composure. + +"What a time that fellow is gone!" he exclaimed gayly. "Perhaps I +had better go and get the book myself." + +The two strangers had been gradually lessening the distance +between the doctor and themselves, ever since Screw had left the +room. The last words were barely out of his mouth, before they +both sprang upon him, and pinioned his arms with their hands. + +"Steady, my fine fellow," said Mr. Manasseh's head agent. "It's +no go. We are Bow Street runners, and we've got you for coining." + +"Not a doubt of it," said the doctor, with the most superb +coolness. "You needn't hold me. I'm not fool enough to resist +when I'm fairly caught." + +"Wait till we've searched you; and then we'll talk about that," +said the runner.* + +The doctor submitted to the searching with the patience of a +martyr. No offensive weapon being found in his pockets, they +allowed him to sit down unmolested in the nearest chair. + +"Screw, I suppose?" said the doctor, looking inquiringly at the +officers. + +"Exactly," said the principal man of the two. "We have been +secretly corresponding with him for weeks past. We have nabbed +the man who went out with him, and got him safe at Barkingham. +Don't expect Screw back with the ledger. As soon as he has made +sure that the rest of you are in the house, he is to fetch +another man or two of our Bow Street lot, who are waiting outside +till they hear from us. We only want an old man and a young one, +and a third pal of yours who is a gentleman born, to make a +regular clearance in the house. When we have once got you all, it +will be the prettiest capture that's ever been made since I was +in the force." + +What the doctor answered to this I cannot say. Just as the +officer had done speaking, I heard footsteps approaching the room +in which I was listening. Was Screw looking for me? I instantly +closed the peephole and got behind the door. It opened back upon +me, and, sure enough, Screw entered cautiously. + +An empty old wardrobe stood opposite the door. Evidently +suspecting that I might have taken the alarm and concealed myself +inside it, he approached it on tiptoe. On tiptoe also I followed +him; and, just as his hands were on the wardrobe door, my hands +were on his throat. He was a little man, and no match for me. I +easily and gently laid him on his back, in a voiceless and +half-suffocated state--throwing myself right over him, to keep +his legs quiet. When I saw his face getting black, and his small +eyes growing largely globular, I let go with one hand, crammed my +empty plaster of Paris bag, which lay close by, into his mouth, +tied it fast, secured his hands and feet, and then left him +perfectly harmless, while I took counsel with myself how best to +secure my own safety. + +I should have made my escape at once; but for what I heard the +officer say about the men who were waiting outside. Were they +waiting near or at a distance? Were they on the watch at the +front or the back of the house? I thought it highly desirable to +give myself a chance of ascertaining their whereabouts from the +talk of the officers in the next room, before I risked the +possibility of running right into their clutches on the outer +side of the door. + +I cautiously opened the peephole once more. + +The doctor appeared to be still on the most friendly terms with +his vigilant guardians from Bow Street. + +"Have you any objection to my ringing for some lunch, before we +are all taken off to London together?" I heard him ask in his +most cheerful tones. "A glass of wine and a bit of bread and +cheese won't do you any harm, gentlemen, if you are as hungry as +I am." + +"If you want to eat and drink, order the victuals at once," +replied one of the runners, sulkily. "We don't happen to want +anything ourselves." + +"Sorry for it," said the doctor. "I have some of the best old +Madeira in England." + +"Like enough," retorted the officer sarcastically. "But you see +we are not quite such fools as we look; and we have heard of such +a thing, in our time, as hocussed wine." + +"O fie! fie!" exclaimed the doctor merrily. "Remember how well I +am behaving myself, and don't wound my feelings by suspecting me +of such shocking treachery as that!" + +He moved to a corner of the room behind him, and touched a knob +in the wall which I had never before observed. A bell rang +directly, which had a new tone in it to my ears. + +"Too bad," said the doctor, turning round again to the runners; +"really too bad, gentlemen, to suspect me of that!" + +Shaking his head deprecatingly, he moved back to the corner, +pulled aside something in the wall, disclosed the mouth of a pipe +which was a perfect novelty to me, and called down it. + +"Moses!" + +It was the first time I had heard that name in the house. + +"Who is Moses?" inquired the officers both together, advancing on +him suspiciously. + +"Only my servant," answered the doctor. He turned once more to +the pipe, and called down it: + +"Bring up the Stilton Cheese, and a bottle of the Old Madeira." + +The cheese we had in use at that time was of purely Dutch +extraction. I remembered Port, Sherry, and Claret in my palmy +dinner-days at the doctor's family-table; but certainly not Old +Madeira. Perhaps he selfishly kept his best wine and his choicest +cheese for his own consumption. + +"Sam," said one of the runners to the other, "you look to our +civil friend here, and I'll grab Moses when he brings up the +lunch." + +"Would you like to see what the operation of coining is, while my +man is getting the lunch ready?" said the doctor. "It may be of +use to me at the trial, if you can testify that I afforded you +every facility for finding out anything you might want to know. +Only mention my polite anxiety to make things easy and +instructive from the very first, and I may get recommended to +mercy. See here--this queer-looking machine, gentlemen (from +which two of my men derive their nicknames), is what we call a +Mill-and-Screw." + +He began to explain the machine with the manner and tone of a +lecturer at a scientific institution. In spite of themselves, the +officers burst out laughing. I looked round at Screw as the +doctor got deeper into his explanations. The traitor was rolling +his wicked eyes horribly at me. They presented so shocking a +sight, that I looked away again. What was I to do next? The +minutes were getting on, and I had not heard a word yet, through +the peephole, on the subject of the reserve of Bow Street runners +outside. Would it not be best to risk everything, and get away at +once by the back of the house? + +Just as I had resolved on v enturing the worst, and making my +escape forthwith, I heard the officers interrupt the doctor's +lecture. + +"Your lunch is a long time coming," said one of them. + +"Moses is lazy," answered the doctor; "and the Madeira is in a +remote part of the cellar. Shall I ring again?" + +"Hang your ringing again!" growled the runner, impatiently. "I +don't understand why our reserve men are not here yet. Suppose +you go and give them a whistle, Sam." + +"I don't half like leaving you," returned Sam. "This learned +gentleman here is rather a shifty sort of chap; and it strikes me +that two of us isn't a bit too much to watch him." + +"What's that?" exclaimed Sam's comrade, suspiciously. + +A crash of broken crockery in the lower part of the house had +followed that last word of the cautious officer's speech. +Naturally, I could draw no special inference from the sound; but, +for all that, it filled me with a breathless interest and +suspicion, which held me irresistibly at the peephole--though the +moment before I had made up my mind to fly from the house. + +"Moses is awkward as well as lazy," said the doctor. "He has +dropped the tray! Oh, dear, dear me! he has certainly dropped the +tray." + +"Let's take our learned friend downstairs between us," suggested +Sam. "I shan't be easy till we've got him out of the house." + +"And I shan't be easy if we don't handcuff him before we leave +the room," returned the other. + +"Rude conduct, gentlemen--after all that has passed, remarkably +rude conduct," said the doctor. "May I, at least, get my hat +while my hands are at liberty? It hangs on that peg opposite to +us." He moved toward it a few steps into the middle of the room +while he spoke. + +"Stop!" said Sam; "I'll get your hat for you. We'll see if +there's anything inside it or not, before you put it on." + +The doctor stood stockstill, like a soldier at the word, Halt. + +"And I'll get the handcuffs," said the other runner, searching +his coat-pockets. + +The doctor bowed to him assentingly and forgivingly . + +"Only oblige me with my hat, and I shall be quite ready for you," +he said--paused for one moment, then repeated the words, "Quite +ready," in a louder tone--and instantly disappeared through the +floor! + +I saw the two officers rush from opposite ends of the room to a +great opening in the middle of it. The trap-door on which the +doctor had been standing, and on which he had descended, closed +up with a bang at the same moment; and a friendly voice from the +lower regions called out gayly, "Good-by!" + +The officers next made for the door of the room. It had been +locked from the other side. As they tore furiously at the handle, +the roll of the wheels of the doctor's gig sounded on the drive +in front of the house; and the friendly voice called out once +more, "Good-by!" + +I waited just long enough to see the baffled officers unbarring +the window shutters for the purpose of giving the alarm, before I +closed the peephole, and with a farewell look at the distorted +face of my prostrate enemy, Screw, left the room. + +The doctor's study-door was open as I passed it on my way +downstairs. The locked writing-desk, which probably contained the +only clew to Alicia's retreat that I was likely to find, was in +its usual place on the table. There was no time to break it open +on the spot. I rolled it up in my apron, took it off bodily under +my arm, and descended to the iron door on the staircase. Just as +I was within sight of it, it was opened from the landing on the +other side. I turned to run upstairs again, when a familiar voice +cried, "Stop!" and looking round, I beheld Young File. + +"All right!" he said. "Father's off with the governor in the gig, +and the runners in hiding outside are in full cry after them. If +Bow Street can get within pistol-shot of the blood mare, all I +can say is, I give Bow Street full leave to fire away with both +barrels! Where's Screw?" + +"Gagged by me in the casting-room." + +"Well done, you! Got all your things, I see, under your arm? Wait +two seconds while I grab my money. Never mind the rumpus +upstairs--there's nobody outside to help them; and the gate's +locked, if there was." + +He darted past me up the stairs. I could hear the imprisoned +officers shouting for help from the top windows. Their reserve +men must have been far away, by this time, in pursuit of the gig; +and there was not much chance of their getting useful help from +any stray countryman who might be passing along the road, except +in the way of sending a message to Barkingham. Anyhow we were +sure of a half hour to escape in, at the very least. + +"Now then," said Young File, rejoining me; "let's be off by the +back way through the plantations. How came you to lay your lucky +hands on Screw?" he continued, when we had passed through the +iron door, and had closed it after us. + +"Tell me first how the doctor managed to make a hole in the floor +just in the nick of time." + +"What! did you see the trap sprung?" + +"I saw everything." + +"The devil you did! Had you any notion that signals were going +on, all the while you were on the watch? We have a regular set of +them in case of accidents. It's a rule that father, and me, and +the doctor are never to be in the workroom together--so as to +keep one of us always at liberty to act on the signals.--Where +are you going to?" + +"Only to get the gardener's ladder to help us over the wall. Go +on." + +"The first signal is a private bell--that means, _Listen at the +pipe._ The next is a call down the pipe for 'Moses'--that means, +_ Danger! Lock the door._ 'Stilton Cheese' means, _Put the Mare +to;_ and 'Old Madeira' _Stand by the trap._ The trap works in +that locked-up room you never got into; and when our hands are on +the machinery, we are awkward enough to have a little accident +with the luncheon tray. 'Quite Ready' is the signal to lower the +trap, which we do in the regular theater-fashion. We lowered the +doctor smartly enough, as you saw, and got out by the back +staircase. Father went in the gig, and I let them out and locked +the gates after them. Now you know as much as I've got breath to +tell you." + +We scaled the wall easily by the help of the ladder. When we were +down on the other side, Young File suggested that the safest +course for us was to separate, and for each to take his own way. +We shook hands and parted. He went southward, toward London, and +I went westward, toward the sea-coast, with Doctor Dulcifer's +precious writing-desk safe under my arm. + +---- * The "Bow Street runners" of those days were the +predecessors of the detective police of the present time. + + +CHAPTER XII. + +FOR a couple of hours I walked on briskly, careless in what +direction I went, so long as I kept my back turned on Barkingham. + +By the time I had put seven miles of ground, according to my +calculations, between me and the red-brick house, I began to look +upon the doctor's writing-desk rather in the light of an +incumbrance, and determined to examine it without further delay. +Accordingly I picked up the first large stone I could find in the +road, crossed a common, burst through a hedge, and came to a +halt, on the other side, in a thick wood. Here, finding myself +well screened from public view, I broke open the desk with the +help of the stone, and began to look over the contents. + +To my unspeakable disappointment I found but few papers of any +kind to examine. The desk was beautifully fitted with all the +necessary materials for keeping up a large correspondence; but +there were not more than half a dozen letters in it altogether. +Four were on business matters, and the other two were of a +friendly nature, referring to persons and things in which I did +not feel the smallest interest. I found besides half a dozen +bills receipted (the doctor was a mirror of punctuality in the +payment of tradesmen), note and letter-paper of the finest +quality, clarified pens, a pretty little pin-cushion, two small +account-books filled with the neatest entries, and some leaves of +blotting-paper. Nothing else; absolutely nothing else, in the +treacherous writing-desk on which I had implicitly relied to +guide me to Alicia's hiding-place. + +I groaned in sheer wretchedness over the destruction of all my +dearest plans and hopes. If the Bow Street runners had come into +the plantation just as I had completed the rifling of the desk I +think I should have let them take me without making the slightest +effort at escape. As it was, no living soul appeared within sight +of me. I must have sat at the foot of a tree for full half an +hour, with the doctor's useless bills and letters before me, with +my head in my hands, and with all my energies of body and mind +utterly crushed by despair. + +At the end of the half hour, the natural restlessness of my +faculties began to make itself felt. + +Whatever may be said about it in books, no emotion in this world +ever did, or ever will, last for long together. The strong +feeling may return over and over again; but it must have its +constant intervals of change or repose. In real life the +bitterest grief doggedly takes its rest and dries its eyes; the +heaviest despair sinks to a certain level, and stops there to +give hope a chance of rising, in spite of us. Even the joy of an +unexpected meeting is always an imperfect sensation, for it never +lasts long enough to justify our secret anticipations--our +happiness dwindles to mere every-day contentment before we have +half done with it. + +I raised my head, and gathered the bills and letters together, +and stood up a man again, wondering at the variableness of my own +temper, at the curious elasticity of that toughest of all the +vital substances within us, which we call Hope. "Sitting and +sighing at the foot of this tree," I thought, "is not the way to +find Alicia, or to secure my own safety. Let me circulate my +blood and rouse my ingenuity, by taking to the road again." + +Before I forced my way back to the open side of the hedge, I +thought it desirable to tear up the bills and letters, for fear +of being traced by them if they were found in the plantation. The +desk I left where it was, there being no name on it. The +note-paper and pens I pocketed--forlorn as my situation was, it +did not authorize me to waste stationery. The blotting-paper was +the last thing left to dispose of: two neatly-folded sheets, +quite clean, except in one place, where the impression of a few +lines of writing appeared. I was about to put the blotting-paper +into my pocket after the pens, when something in the look of the +writing impressed on it, stopped me. + +Four blurred lines appeared of not more than two or three words +each, running out one beyond another regularly from left to +right. Had the doctor been composing poetry and blotting it in a +violent hurry? At a first glance, that was more than I could +tell. The order of the written letters, whatever they might be, +was reversed on the face of the impression taken of them by the +blotting-paper. I turned to the other side of the leaf. The order +of the letters was now right, but the letters themselves were +sometimes too faintly impressed, sometimes too much blurred +together to be legible. I held the leaf up to the light--and +there was a complete change: the blurred letters grew clearer, +the invisible connecting lines appeared--I could read the words +from first to last. + +The writing must have been hurried, and it had to all appearance +been hurriedly dried toward the corner of a perfectly clean leaf +of the blotting-paper. After twice reading, I felt sure that I +had made out correctly the following address: + +Miss Giles, 2 Zion Place, Crickgelly, N. Wales. + +It was hard under the circumstances, to form an opinion as to the +handwriting; but I thought I could recognize the character of +some of the doctor's letters, even in the blotted impression of +them. Supposing I was right, who was Miss Giles? + +Some Welsh friend of the doctor's, unknown to me? Probably +enough. But why not Alicia herself under an assumed name? Having +sent her from home to keep her out of my way, it seemed next to a +certainty that her father would take all possible measures to +prevent my tracing her, and would, therefore, as a common act of +precaution, forbid her to travel under her own name. Crickgelly, +North Wales, was assuredly a very remote place to banish her to; +but then the doctor was not a man to do things by halves: he knew +the lengths to which my cunning and resolution were capable of +carrying me; and he would have been innocent indeed if he had +hidden his daughter from me in any place within reasonable +distance of Barkingham. Last, and not least important, Miss Giles +sounded in my ears exactly like an assumed name. + +Was there ever any woman absolutely and literally named Miss +Giles? However I may have altered my opinion on this point since, +my mind was not in a condition at that time to admit the possible +existence of any such individual as a maiden Giles. Before, +therefore, I had put the precious blotting-paper into my pocket, +I had satisfied myself that my first duty, under all the +circumstances, was to shape my flight immediately to Crickgelly. +I could be certain of nothing--not even of identifying the +doctor's handwriting by the impression on the blotting-paper. But +provided I kept clear of Barkingham, it was all the same to me +what part of the United Kingdom I went to; and, in the absence of +any actual clew to her place of residence, there was consolation +and encouragement even in following an imaginary trace. My +spirits rose to their natural height as I struck into the +highroad again, and beheld across the level plain the smoke, +chimneys, and church spires of a large manufacturing town. There +I saw the welcome promise of a coach--the happy chance of making +my journey to Crickgelly easy and rapid from the very outset. + +On my way to the town, I was reminded by the staring of all the +people I passed on the road, of one important consideration which +I had hitherto most unaccountably overlooked--the necessity of +making some radical change in my personal appearance. + +I had no cause to dread the Bow Street runners, for not one of +them had seen me; but I had the strongest possible reasons for +distrusting a meeting with my enemy, Screw. He would certainly be +made use of by the officers for the purpose of identifying the +companions whom he had betrayed; and I had the best reasons in +the world to believe that he would rather assist in the taking of +me than in the capture of all the rest of the coining gang put +together--the doctor himself not excepted. My present costume was +of the dandy sort--rather shabby, but gay in color and outrageous +in cut. I had not altered it for an artisan's suit in the +doctor's house, because I never had any intention of staying +there a day longer than I could possibly help. The apron in which +I had wrapped the writing-desk was the only approach I had made +toward wearing the honorable uniform of the workingman. + +Would it be wise now to make my transformation complete, by +adding to the apron a velveteen jacket and a sealskin cap? No: my +hands were too white, my manners too inveterately gentleman-like, +for all artisan disguise. It would be safer to assume a serious +character--to shave off my whiskers, crop my hair, buy a modest +hat and umbrella, and dress entirely in black. At the first +slopshop I encountered in the suburbs of the town, I got a +carpet-bag and a clerical-looking suit. At the first easy +shaving-shop I passed, I had my hair cropped and my whiskers +taken off. After that I retreated again to the country--walked +back till I found a convenient hedge down a lane off the +highroad--changed my upper garments behind it, and emerged, +bashful, black, and reverend, with my cotton umbrella tucked +modestly under my arm, my eyes on the ground, my head in the air, +and my hat off my forehead. When I found two laborers touching +their caps to me on my way back to the town, I knew that it was +all right, and that I might now set the vindictive eyes of Screw +himself safely at defiance. + +I had not the most distant notion where I was when I reached the +High Street, and stopped at The Green Bull Hotel and +Coach-office. However, I managed to mention my modest wishes to +be conveyed at once in the direction of Wales, with no more than +a becoming confusion of manner. + +The answer was not so encouraging as I could have wished. The +coach to Shrewsbury had left an hour before, and there would be +no other public conveyance running in my direct ion until the +next morning. Finding myself thus obliged to yield to adverse +circumstances, I submitted resignedly, and booked a place outside +by the next day's coach, in the name of the Reverend John Jones. +I thought it desirable to be at once unassuming and Welsh in the +selection of a traveling name; and therefore considered John +Jones calculated to fit me, in my present emergency, to a hair. + +After securing a bed at the hotel, and ordering a frugal curate's +dinner (bit of fish, two chops, mashed potatoes, semolina +pudding, half-pint of sherry), I sallied out to look at the town. + +Not knowing the name of it, and not daring to excite surprise by +asking, I found the place full of vague yet mysterious interest. +Here I was, somewhere in central England, just as ignorant of +localities as if I had been suddenly deposited in Central Africa. +My lively fancy revelled in the new sensation. I invented a name +for the town, a code of laws for the inhabitants, productions, +antiquities, chalybeate springs, population, statistics of crime, +and so on, while I walked about the streets, looked in at the +shop-windows, and attentively examined the Market-place and +Town-hall. Experienced travelers, who have exhausted all +novelties, would do well to follow my example; they may be +certain, for one day at least, of getting some fresh ideas, and +feeling a new sensation. + +On returning to dinner in the coffee-room, I found all the London +papers on the table. + +The _Morning Post_ happened to lie uppermost, so I took it away +to my own seat to occupy the time, while my unpretending bit of +fish was frying. Glancing lazily at the advertisements on the +first page, to begin with, I was astonished by the appearance of +the following lines, at the top of a column: + + + +"If F-- --K S--FTL--Y will communicate with his distressed and +alarmed relatives, Mr. and Mrs. B--TT--RB--RY, he will hear of +something to his advantage, and may be assured that all will be +once more forgiven. A--B--LLA entreats him to write." + + + +What, in the name of all that is most mysterious, does this mean! +was my first thought after reading the advertisement. Can Lady +Malkinshaw have taken a fresh lease of that impregnable vital +tenement, at the door of which Death has been knocking vainly for +so many years past? (Nothing more likely.) Was my felonious +connection with Doctor Dulcifer suspected? (It seemed +improbable.) One thing, however, was certain: I was missed, and +the Batterburys were naturally anxious about me--anxious enough +to advertise in the public papers. + +I debated with myself whether I should answer their pathetic +appeal or not. I had all my money about me (having never let it +out of my own possession during my stay in the red-brick house), +and there was plenty of it for the present; so I thought it best +to leave the alarm and distress of my anxious relatives +unrelieved for a little while longer, and to return quietly to +the perusal of the _ Morning Post._ + +Five minutes of desultory reading brought me unexpectedly to an +explanation of the advertisement, in the shape of the following +paragraph: + + + +"ALARMING ILLNESS OF LADY MALKINSHAW.--We regret to announce that +this venerable lady was seized with an alarming illness on +Saturday last, at her mansion in town. The attack took the +character of a fit--of what precise nature we have not been able +to learn. Her ladyship's medical attendant and near relative, +Doctor Softly, was immediately called in, and predicted the most +fatal results. Fresh medical attendance was secured, and her +ladyship's nearest surviving relatives, Mrs. Softly, and Mr. and +Mrs. Batterbury, of Duskydale Park, were summoned. At the time of +their arrival her ladyship's condition was comatose, her +breathing being highly stertorous. If we are rightly informed, +Doctor Softly and the other medical gentlemen present gave it as +their opinion that if the pulse of the venerable sufferer did not +rally in the course of a quarter of au hour at most, very +lamentable results might be anticipated. For fourteen minutes, as +our reporter was informed, no change took place; but, strange to +relate, immediately afterward her ladyship's pulse rallied +suddenly in the most extraordinary manner. She was observed to +open her eyes very wide, and was heard, to the surprise and +delight of all surrounding the couch, to ask why her ladyship's +usual lunch of chicken-broth with a glass of Amontillado sherry +was not placed on the table as usual. These refreshments having +been produced, under the sanction of the medical gentlemen, the +aged patient partook of them with an appearance of the utmost +relish. Since this happy alteration for the better, her +ladyship's health has, we rejoice to say, rapidly improved; and +the answer now given to all friendly and fashionable inquirers +is, in the venerable lady's own humorous phraseology, 'Much +better than could be expected.' " + + + +Well done, my excellent grandmother! my firm, my unwearied, my +undying friend! Never can I say that my case is desperate while +you can swallow your chicken-broth and sip your Amontillado +sherry. The moment I want money, I will write to Mr. Batterbury, +and cut another little golden slice out of that possible +three-thousand-pound-cake, for which he has already suffered and +sacrificed so much. In the meantime, O venerable protectress of +the wandering Rogue! let me gratefully drink your health in the +nastiest and smallest half-pint of sherry this palate ever +tasted, or these eyes ever beheld! + +I went to bed that night in great spirits. My luck seemed to be +returning to me; and I began to feel more than hopeful of really +discovering my beloved Alicia at Crickgelly, under the alias of +Miss Giles. + +The next morning the Rev. John Jones descended to breakfast so +rosy, bland, and smiling, that the chambermaids simpered as he +tripped by them in the passage, and the landlady bowed graciously +as he passed her parlor door. The coach drove up, and the +reverend gentleman (after waiting characteristically for the +woman's ladder) mounted to his place on the roof, behind the +coachman. One man sat there who had got up before him--and who +should that man be, but the chief of the Bow Street runners, who +had rashly tried to take Doctor Dulcifer into custody! + +There could not be the least doubt of his identity; I should have +known his face again among a hundred. He looked at me as I took +my place by his side, with one sharp searching glance--then +turned his head away toward the road. Knowing that he had never +set eyes on my face (thanks to the convenient peephole at the +red-brick house), I thought my meeting with him was likely to be +rather advantageous than otherwise. I had now an opportunity of +watching the proceedings of one of our pursuers, at any rate--and +surely this was something gained. + +"Fine morning, sir," I said politely. + +"Yes," he replied in the gruffest of monosyllables. + +I was not offended: I could make allowance for the feelings of a +man who had been locked up by his own prisoner. + +"Very fine morning, indeed," I repeated, soothingly and +cheerfully. + +The runner only grunted this time. Well, well! we all have our +little infirmities. I don't think the worse of the man now, for +having been rude to me, that morning, on the top of the +Shrewsbury coach. + +The next passenger who got up and placed himself by my side was a +florid, excitable, confused-looking gentleman, excessively +talkative and familiar. He was followed by a sulky agricultural +youth in top-boots--and then, the complement of passengers on our +seat behind the coachman was complete. + +"Heard the news, sir?" said the florid man, turning to me. + +"Not that I am aware of," I answered. + +"It's the most tremendous thing that has happened these fifty +years," said the florid man. "A gang of coiners, sir, discovered +at Barkingham--in a house they used to call the Grange. All the +dreadful lot of bad silver that's been about, they're at the +bottom of. And the head of the gang not taken! --escaped, sir, +like a ghost on the stage, through a trap-door, after actually +locking the runners into his workshop. The blacksmiths from +Barkingham had to break them out; the whole house was found full +of iron doors, back staircases , and all that sort of thing, just +like the Inquisition. A most respectable man, the original +proprietor! Think what a misfortune to have let his house to a +scoundrel who has turned the whole inside into traps, furnaces, +and iron doors. The fellow's reference, sir, was actually at a +London bank, where he kept a first-rate account. What is to +become of society? where is our protection? Where are our +characters, when we are left at the mercy of scoundrels? The +times are awful--upon my soul, the times we live in are perfectly +awful!" + +"Pray, sir, is there any chance of catching this coiner?" I +inquired innocently. + +"I hope so, sir; for the sake of outraged society, I hope so," +said the excitable man. "They've printed handbills at Barkingham, +offering a reward for taking him. I was with my friend the mayor, +early this morning, and saw them issued. 'Mr. Mayor,' says I, +'I'm going West--give me a few copies--let me help to circulate +them--for the sake of outraged society, let me help to circulate +them. Here they are--take a few, sir, for distribution. You'll +see these are three other fellows to be caught besides the +principal rascal--one of them a scamp belonging to a respectable +family. Oh! what times! Take three copies, and pray circulate +them in three influential quarters. Perhaps that gentleman next +you would like a few. Will you take three, sir?" + +"No, I won't," said the Bow Street runner doggedly. "Nor yet one +of 'em--and it's my opinion that the coining-gang would be nabbed +all the sooner, if you was to give over helping the law to catch +them." + +This answer produced a vehement expostulation from my excitable +neighbor, to which I paid little attention, being better engaged +in reading the handbill. + +It described the doctor's personal appearance with remarkable +accuracy, and cautioned persons in seaport towns to be on the +lookout for him. Old File, Young File, and myself were all +dishonorably mentioned together in a second paragraph, as +runaways of inferior importance Not a word was said in the +handbill to show that the authorities at Barkingham even so much +as suspected the direction in which any one of us had escaped. +This would have been very encouraging, but for the presence of +the runner by my side, which looked as if Bow Street had its +suspicions, however innocent Barkingham might be. + +Could the doctor have directed his flight toward Crickgelly? I +trembled internally as the question suggested itself to me. +Surely he would prefer writing to Miss Giles to join him when he +got to a safe place of refuge, rather than encumber himself with +the young lady before he was well out of reach of the +far-stretching arm of the law. This seemed infinitely the most +natural course of conduct. Still, there was the runner traveling +toward Wales--and not certainly without a special motive. I put +the handbills in my pocket, and listened for any hints which +might creep out in his talk; but he perversely kept silent. The +more my excitable neighbor tried to dispute with him, the more +contemptuously he refused to break silence. I began to feel +vehemently impatient for our arrival at Shrewsbury; for there +only could I hope to discover something more of my formidable +fellow-traveler's plans. + +The coach stopped for dinner; and some of our passengers left us, +the excitable man with the handbills among the number. I got +down, and stood on the doorstep of the inn, pretending to be +looking about me, but in reality watching the movements of the +runner. + +Rather to my surprise, I saw him go to the door of the coach and +speak to one of the inside passengers. After a short +conversation, of which I could not hear one word, the runner left +the coach door and entered the inn, called for a glass of brandy +and water, and took it out to his friend, who had not left the +vehicle . The friend bent forward to receive it at the window. I +caught a glimpse of his face, and felt my knees tremble under +me--it was Screw himself! + +Screw, pale and haggard-looking, evidently not yet recovered from +the effect of my grip on his throat! Screw, in attendance on the +runner, traveling inside the coach in the character of an +invalid. He must be going this journey to help the Bow Street +officers to identify some one of our scattered gang of whom they +were in pursuit. It could not be the doctor--the runner could +discover him without assistance from anybody. Why might it not be +me? + +I began to think whether it would be best to trust boldly in my +disguise, and my lucky position outside the coach, or whether I +should abandon my fellow-passengers immediately. It was not easy +to settle at once which course was the safest--so I tried the +effect of looking at my two alternatives from another point of +view. Should I risk everything, and go on resolutely to +Crickgelly, on the chance of discovering that Alicia and Miss +Giles were one and the same person--or should I give up on the +spot the only prospect of finding my lost mistress, and direct my +attention entirely to the business of looking after my own +safety? + +As the latter alternative practically resolved itself into the +simple question of whether I should act like a man who was in +love, or like a man who was not, my natural instincts settled the +difficulty in no time. I boldly imitated the example of my +fellow-passengers, and went in to dinner, determined to go on +afterward to Crickgelly, though all Bow Street should be +following at my heels. + +CHAPTER XIII. + +SECURE as I tried to feel in my change of costume, my cropped +hair, and my whiskerless cheeks, I kept well away from the +coach-window, when the dinner at the inn was over and the +passengers were called to take their places again. Thus +far--thanks to the strength of my grasp on his neck, which had +left him too weak to be an outside passenger--Screw had certainly +not seen me; and, if I played my cards properly, there was no +reason why he should see me before we got to our destination. + +Throughout the rest of the journey I observed the strictest +caution, and fortune seconded my efforts. It was dark when we got +to Shrewsbury. On leaving the coach I was enabled, under cover of +the night, to keep a sharp watch on the proceedings of Screw and +his Bow Street ally. They did not put up at the hotel, but walked +away to a public house. There, my clerical character obliged me +to leave them at the door. + +I returned to the hotel, to make inquiries about conveyances. + +The answers informed me that Crickgelly was a little +fishing-village, and that there was no coach direct to it, but +that two coaches running to two small Welsh towns situated at +nearly equal distances from my destination, on either side of it, +would pass through Shrewsbury the next morning. The waiter added, +that I could book a place--conditionally--by either of these +vehicles; and that, as they were always well-filled, I had better +be quick in making my choice between them. Matters had now +arrived at such a pass, that nothing was left for me but to trust +to chance. If I waited till the morning to see whether Screw and +the Bow Street runner traveled in my direction, and to find out, +in case they did, which coach they took, I should be running the +risk of losing a place for myself, and so delaying my journey for +another day. This was not to be thought of. I told the waiter to +book me a place in which coach he pleased. The two were called +respectively The Humming Bee, and The Red Cross Knight. The +waiter chose the latter. + +Sleep was not much in my way that night. I rose almost as early +as Boots himself--breakfasted--then sat at the coffee-room window +looking out anxiously for the two coaches. + +Nobody seemed to agree which would pass first. Each of the inn +servants of whom I inquired made it a matter of partisanship, and +backed his favorite coach with the most consummate assurance. At +last, I heard the guard's horn and the clatter of the horses' +hoofs. Up drove a coach--I looked out cautiously--it was the +Humming Bee. Three outside places were vacant; one behind the +coachman; two on the dickey. The first was taken immediately by a +farmer, the second---to my unspeakable disgust and terror--was +secured by the inevitable Bow Street runner; who, as soon as h e +was up, helped the weakly Screw into the third place, by his +side. They were going to Crickgelly; not a doubt of it, now. + +I grew mad with impatience for the arrival of the Red Cross +Knight. Half-an-hour passed--forty minutes--and then I heard +another horn and another clatter--and the Red Cross Knight +rattled up to the hotel door at full speed. What if there should +be no vacant place for me! I ran to the door with a sinking +heart. Outside, the coach was declared to be full. + +"There is one inside place," said the waiter, "if you don't mind +paying the--" + +Before he could say the rest, I was occupying that one inside +place. I remember nothing of the journey from the time we left +the hotel door, except that it was fearfully long. At some hour +of the day with which I was not acquainted (for my watch had +stopped for want of winding up), I was set down in a clean little +street of a prim little town (the name of which I never thought +of asking), and was told that the coach never went any further. + +No post-chaise was to be had. With incredible difficulty I got +first a gig, then a man to drive it; and, last, a pony to draw +it. We hobbled away crazily from the inn door. I thought of Screw +and the Bow Street runner approaching Crickgelly, from their +point of the compass, perhaps at the full speed of a good +post-chaise--I thought of that, and would have given all the +money in my pocket for two hours' use of a fast road-hack. + +Judging by the time we occupied in making the journey, and a +little also by my own impatience, I should say that Crickgelly +must have been at least twenty miles distant from the town where +I took the gig. The sun was setting, when we first heard, through +the evening stillness, the sound of the surf on the seashore. The +twilight was falling as we entered the little fishing village, +and let our unfortunate pony stop, for the last time, at a small +inn door. + +The first question I asked of the landlord was, whether two +gentlemen (friends of mine, of course, whom I expected to meet) +had driven into Crickgelly, a little while before me. The reply +was in the negative; and the sense of relief it produced seemed +to rest me at once, body and mind, after my long and anxious +journey. Either I had beaten the spies on the road, or they were +not bound to Crickgelly. Any way, I had first possession of the +field of action. I paid the man who had driven me, and asked my +way to Zion Place. My directions were simple--I had only to go +through the village, and I should find Zion Place at the other +end of it. + +The village had a very strong smell, and a curious habit of +building boats in the street between intervals of detached +cottages; a helpless, muddy, fishy little place. I walked through +it rapidly; turned inland a few hundred yards; ascended some +rising ground; and discerned, in the dim twilight, four small +lonesome villas standing in pairs, with a shed and a saw-pit on +one side, and a few shells of unfinished houses on the other. +Some madly speculative builder was evidently trying to turn +Crickgelly into a watering-place. + +I made out Number Two, and discovered the bell-handle with +difficulty, it was growing so dark. A servant-maid--corporeally +enormous; but, as I soon found, in a totally undeveloped state, +mentally--opened the door. + +"Does Miss Giles live here?" I asked. + +"Don't see no visitors," answered the large maiden. "'T'other one +tried it and had to go away. You go, too." + +"'T'othor one?" I repeated. "Another visitor? And when did he +call?" + +"Better than an hour ago." + +"Was there nobody with him?" + +"No. Don't see no visitors. He went. You go, too " + +Just as she repeated that exasperating formula of words, a door +opened at the end of the passage. My voice had evidently reached +the ears of somebody in the back parlor. Who the person was I +could not see, but I heard the rustle of a woman's dress. My +situation was growing desperate, my suspicions were aroused--I +determined to risk everything--and I called softly in the +direction of the open door, "Alicia!" + +A voice answered, "Good heavens! Frank?" It was _her_ voice. She +had recognized mine. I pushed past the big servant; in two steps +I was at the end of the passage; in one more I was in the back +parlor. + +She was there, standing alone by the side of a table. Seeing my +changed costume and altered face, she turned deadly pale, and +stretched her hand behind her mechanically, as if to take hold of +a chair. I caught her in my arms; but I was afraid to kiss +her--she trembled so when I only touched her. + +"Frank!" she said, drawing her head back. "What is it? How did +you find out? For mercy's sake what does it mean?" + +"It means, love, that I've come to take care of you for the rest +of your life and mine, if you will only let me. Don't +tremble--there's nothing to be afraid of! Only compose yourself, +and I'll tell you why I am here in this strange disguise. Come, +come, Alicia!--don't look like that at me. You called me Frank +just now, for the first time. Would you have done that, if you +had disliked me or forgotten me?" + +I saw her color beginning to come back--the old bright glow +returning to the dear dusky cheeks. If I had not seen them so +near me, I might have exercised some self-control--as it was, I +lost my presence of mind entirely, and kissed her. + +She drew herself away half-frightened, half-confused--certainly +not offended, and, apparently, not very likely to faint--which +was more than I could have said of her when I first entered the +room. Before she had time to reflect on the peril and awkwardness +of our position, I pressed the first necessary questions on her +rapidly, one after the other. + +"Where is Mrs. Baggs?" I asked first. + +Mrs. Baggs was the housekeeper. + +Alicia pointed to the closed folding-doors. "In the front parlor; +asleep on the sofa." + +"Have you any suspicion who the stranger was who called more than +an hour ago?" + +"None. The servant told him we saw no visitors, and he went away, +without leaving his name." + +"Have you heard from your father?" + +She began to turn pale again, but controlled herself bravely, and +answered in a whisper: + +"Mrs. Baggs had a short note from him this morning. It was not +dated; and it only said circumstances had happened which obliged +him to leave home suddenly, and that we were to wait here till be +wrote again, most likely in a few days." + +"Now, Alicia," I said, as lightly as I could, "I have the highest +possible opinion of your courage, good-sense, and self-control; +and I shall expect you to keep up your reputation in my eyes, +while you are listening to what I have to tell you." + +Saying these words, I took her by the hand and made her sit close +by me; then, breaking it to her as gently and gradually as +possible, I told her all that had happened at the red-brick house +since the evening when she left the dinner-table, and we +exchanged our parting look at the dining-room door. + +It was almost as great a trial to me to speak as it was to her to +hear. She suffered so violently, felt such evident misery of +shame and terror, while I was relating the strange events which +had occurred in her absence, that I once or twice stopped in +alarm, and almost repented my boldness in telling her the truth. +However, fair-dealing with her, cruel as it might seem at the +time, was the best and safest course for the future. How could I +expect her to put all her trust in me if I began by deceiving +her--if I fell into prevarications and excuses at the very outset +of our renewal of intercourse? I went on desperately to the end, +taking a hopeful view of the most hopeless circumstances, and +making my narrative as mercifully short as possible. + +When I had done, the poor girl, in the extremity of her +forlornness and distress, forgot all the little maidenly +conventionalities and young-lady-like restraints of everyday +life--and, in a burst of natural grief and honest confiding +helplessness, hid her face on my bosom, and cried there as if she +were a child again, and I was the mother to whom she had been +used to look for comfort. + +I made no attempt to stop her tears--they were the safest and +best vent for the violent agitation under which she was +suffering. I said nothing; words, at such a ti me as that, would +only have aggravated her distress. All the questions I had to +ask; all the proposals I had to make, must, I felt, be put +off--no matter at what risk--until some later and clamer hour. +There we sat together, with one long unsnuffed candle lighting us +smokily; with the discordantly-grotesque sound of the +housekeeper's snoring in the front room, mingling with the sobs +of the weeping girl on my bosom. No other noise, great or small, +inside the house or out of it, was audible. The summer night +looked black and cloudy through the little back window. + +I was not much easier in my mind, now that the trial of breaking +my bad news to Alicia was over. That stranger who had called at +the house an hour before me, weighed on my spirits. It could not +have been Doctor Dulcifer. He would have gained admission. Could +it be the Bow Street runner, or Screw? I had lost sight of them, +it is true; but had they lost sight of me? + +Alicia's grief gradually exhausted itself. She feebly raised her +head, and, turning it away from me, hid her face. I saw that she +was not fit for talking yet, and begged her to go upstairs to the +drawing-room and lie down a little. She looked apprehensively +toward the folding-doors that shut us off from the front parlor. + +"Leave Mrs. Baggs to me," I said. "I want to have a few words +with her; and, as soon as you are gone, I'll make noise enough +here to wake her." + +Alicia looked at me inquiringly and amazedly. I did not speak +again. Time was now of terrible importance to us--I gently led +her to the door. + +CHAPTER XIV. + +As soon as I was alone, I took from my pocket one of the +handbills which my excitable fellow-traveler had presented to me, +so as to have it ready for Mrs. Baggs the moment we stood face to +face. Armed with this ominous letter of introduction, I kicked a +chair down against the folding-doors, by way of giving a +preliminary knock to arouse the housekeeper's attention. The plan +was immediately successful. Mrs. Baggs opened the doors of +communication violently. A slight smell of spirits entered the +room, and was followed close by the housekeeper herself, with an +indignant face and a disordered head-dress. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--" she began; then stopped +aghast, looking at me in speechless astonishment. + +"I have been obliged to make a slight alteration in my personal +appearance, ma'am," I said. "But I am still Frank Softly." + +"Don't talk to me about personal appearances, sir," cried Mrs. +Baggs recovering. "What do you mean by being here? Leave the +house immediately. I shall write to the doctor, Mr. Softly, this +very night." + +"He has no address you can direct to," I rejoined. "If you don't +believe me, read that." I gave her the handbill without another +word of preface. + +Mrs. Baggs looked at it--lost in an instant some of the fine +color plentifully diffused over her face by sleep and +spirits--sat down in the nearest chair with a thump that seemed +to threaten the very foundations of Number Two, Zion Place--and +stared me hard in the face; the most speechless and helpless +elderly female I ever beheld. + +"Take plenty of time to compose yourself ma'am," I said. "If you +don't see the doctor again soon, under the gallows, you will +probably not have the pleasure of meeting with him for some +considerable time." + +Mrs. Baggs smote both her hands distractedly on her knees, and +whispered a devout ejaculation to herself softly. + +"Allow me to deal with you, ma'am, as a woman of the world," I +went on. "If you will give me half-an-hour's hearing, I will +explain to you how I come to know what I do; how I got here; and +what I have to propose to Miss Alicia and to you." + +"If you have the feelings of a man, sir," said Mrs. Baggs, +shaking her head and raising her eyes to heaven, "you will +remember that I have nerves, and will not presume upon them." + +As the old lady uttered the last words, I thought I saw her eyes +turn from heaven, and take the earthly direction of the sofa in +the front parlor. It struck me also that her lips looked rather +dry. Upon these two hints I spoke. + +"Might I suggest some little stimulant?" I asked, with respectful +earnestness. "I have heard my grandmother (Lady Malkinshaw) say +that, 'a drop in time saves nine.' " + +"You will find it under the sofa pillow," said Mrs. Baggs, with +sudden briskness. " 'A drop in time saves nine'--my sentiments, +if I may put myself on a par with her ladyship. The +liqueur-glass, Mr. Softly, is in the backgammon-board. I hope her +ladyship was well the last time you heard from her? Suffers from +her nerves, does she? Like me, again. In the backgammon-board. +Oh, this news, this awful news!" + +I found the bottle of brandy in the place indicated, but no +liqueur-glass in the backgammon-board. There was, however, a +wine-glass, accidentally left on a chair by the sofa. Mrs. Baggs +did not seem to notice the difference when I brought it into the +back room and filled it with brandy. + +"Take a toothful yourself," said Mrs. Baggs, lightly tossing off +the dram in a moment. " 'A drop in time'--I can't help repeating +it, it's so nicely expressed. Still, with submission to her +ladyship's better judgment, Mr. Softly, the question seems now to +arise, whether, if one drop in time saves nine, two drops in time +may not save eighteen." Here Mrs. Baggs forgot her nerves and +winked. I returned the wink and filled the glass a second time. +"Oh, this news, this awful news!" said Mrs. Baggs, remembering +her nerves again. + +Just then I thought I heard footsteps in front of the house, but, +listening more attentively, found that it had begun to rain, and +that I had been deceived by the pattering of the first heavy +drops against the windows. However, the bare suspicion that the +same stranger who had called already might be watching the house +now, was enough to startle me very seriously, and to suggest the +absolute necessity of occupying no more precious time in paying +attention to the vagaries of Mrs. Baggs' nerves. It was also of +some importance that I should speak to her while she was sober +enough to understand what I meant in a general way. + +Feeling convinced that she was in imminent danger of becoming +downright drunk if I gave her another glass, I kept my hand on +the bottle, and forthwith told my story over again in a very +abridged and unceremonious form, and without allowing her one +moment of leisure for comment on my narrative, whether it might +be of the weeping, winking, drinking, groaning, or ejaculating +kind. As I had anticipated, when I came to a conclusion, and +consequently allowed her an opportunity of saying a few words, +she affected to be extremely shocked and surprised at hearing of +the nature of her master's pursuits, and reproached me in terms +of the most vehement and virtuous indignation for incurring the +guilt of abetting them, even though I had done so from the very +excusable motive of saving my own life. Having a lively sense of +the humorous, I was necessarily rather amused by this; but I +began to get a little surprised as well, when we diverged to the +subject of the doctor's escape, on finding that Mrs. Baggs viewed +the fact of his running away to some hiding-place of his own in +the light of a personal insult to his faithful and attached +housekeeper. + +"It shows a want of confidence in me," said the old lady, "which +I may forgive, but can never forget. The sacrifices I have made +for that ungrateful man are not to be told in words. The very +morning he sent us away here, what did I do? Packed up the moment +he said Go. I had my preserves to pot, and the kitchen chimney to +be swept, and the lock of my box hampered into the bargain. Other +women in my place would have grumbled--I got up directly, as +lively as any girl of eighteen you like to mention. Says he, 'I +want Alicia taken out of young Softly's way, and you must do +it.'---Says I, 'This very morning, sir?'--Says he, 'This very +morning.'--Says I, 'Where to?'--Says he, 'As far off as ever you +can go; coast of Wales--Crickgelly. I won't trust her nearer; +young Softly's too cunning, and she's too fond of him.'--'Any +more orders, sir?' says I.--'Yes; take some fancy name--Simkins, +Johnson, Giles, Jones, James,' says he, 'what you like bu t +Dulcifer; for that scamp Softly will move heaven and earth to +trace her.'--'What else?' says I.--'Nothing, but look sharp,' +says he; 'and mind one thing, that she sees no visitors, and +posts no letters.' Before those last words had been out of his +wicked lips an hour, we were off. A nice job I had to get her +away--a nice job to stop her from writing letters to you--a nice +job to keep her here. But I did it; I followed my orders like a +slave in a plantation with a whip at his bare back. I've had +rheumatics, weak legs, bad nights, and miss in the sulks--all +from obeying the doctor's orders. And what is my reward? He turns +coiner, and runs away without a word to me beforehand, and writes +me a trumpery note, without a date to it, without a farthing of +money in it, telling me nothing! Look at my confidence in him, +and then look at the way he's treated me in return. What woman's +nerves can stand that? Don't keep fidgeting with the bottle! Pass +it this way, Mr. Softly, or you'll break it, and drive me +distracted." + +"He has no excuse, ma'am," I said. "But will you allow me to +change the subject, as I am pressed for time? You appear to be so +well acquainted with the favorable opinion which Miss Alicia and +I entertain of each other, that I hope it will be no fresh shock +to your nerves, if I inform you, in plain words, that I have come +to Crickgelly to marry her." + +"Marry her! marry--If you don't leave off fidgeting with the +bottle, Mr. Softly, and change the subject directly, I shall ring +the bell." + +"Hear me out, ma'am, and then ring if you like. If you persist, +however, in considering yourself still the confidential servant +of a felon who is now flying for his life, and if you decline +allowing the young lady to act as she wishes, I will not be so +rude as to hint that--as she is of age--she may walk out of this +house with me, whenever she likes, without your having the power +to prevent her; but, I will politely ask instead, what you would +propose to do with her, in the straitened position as to money in +which she and you are likely to be placed? You can't find her +father to give her to; and, if you could, who would be the best +protector for her? The doctor, who is the principal criminal in +the eye of the law, or I, who am only the unwilling accomplice? +He is known to the Bow Street runners--I am not. There is a +reward for the taking of him, and none for the taking of me. He +has no respectable relatives and friends, I have plenty. Every +way my chances are the best; and consequently I am, every way, +the fittest person to trust her to. Don't you see that?" + +Mrs. Baggs did not immediately answer. She snatched the bottle +out of my hands--drank off another dram, shook her head at me, +and ejaculated lamentably: "My nerves, my nerves! what a heart of +stone he must have to presume on my poor nerves!" + +"Give me one minute more," I went on. "I propose to take you and +Alicia to-morrow morning to Scotland. Pray don't groan! I only +suggest the journey with a matrimonial object. In Scotland, Mrs. +Baggs, if a man and woman accept each other as husband and wife, +before one witness, it is a lawful marriage; and that kind of +wedding is, as you see plainly enough, the only safe refuge for a +bridegroom in my situation. If you consent to come with us to +Scotland, and serve as witness to the marriage, I shall be +delighted to acknowledge my sense of your kindness in the +eloquent language of the Bank of England, as expressed to the +world in general on the surface of a five-pound note." + +I cautiously snatched away the brandy bottle as I spoke, and was +in the drawing-room with it in an instant. As I suppose, Mrs. +Baggs tried to follow me, for I heard the door rattle, as if she +had got out of her chair, and suddenly slipped back into it +again. I felt certain of her deciding to help us, if she was only +sober enough to reflect on what I had said to her. The journey to +Scotland was a tedious, and perhaps a dangerous, undertaking. But +I had no other alternative to choose. + +In those uncivilized days, the Marriage Act had not been passed, +and there was no convenient hymeneal registrar in England to +change a vagabond runaway couple into a respectable man and wife +at a moment's notice. The trouble and expense of taking Mrs. +Baggs with us, I encountered, of course, solely out of regard for +Alicia's natural prejudices. She had led precisely that kind of +life which makes any woman but a bad one morbidly sensitive on +the subject of small proprieties. If she had been a girl with a +recognized position in society, I should have proposed to her to +run away with me alone. As it was, the very defenselessness of +her situation gave her, in my opinion, the right to expect from +me even the absurdest sacrifices to the narrowest +conventionalities. Mrs. Baggs was not quite so sober in her +habits, perhaps, as matrons in general are expected to be; but, +for my particular purpose, this was only a slight blemish; it +takes so little, after all, to represent the abstract principle +of propriety in the short-sighted eye of the world. + +As I reached the drawing-room door, I looked at my watch. + +Nine o'clock! and nothing done yet to facilitate our escaping +from Crickgelly to the regions of civilized life the next +morning. I was pleased to hear, when I knocked at the door, that +Alicia's voice sounded firmer as she told me to come in. She was +more confused than astonished or frightened when I sat down by +her on the sofa, and repeated the principal topics of my +conversion with Mrs. Baggs. + +"Now, my own love," I said, in conclusion--suiting my gestures, +it is unnecessary to say, to the tenderness of my +language--"there is not the least doubt that Mrs. Baggs will end +by agreeing to my proposals. Nothing remains, therefore, but for +you to give me the answer now, which I have been waiting for ever +since that last day when we met by the riverside. I did not know +then what the motive was for your silence and distress. I know +now, and I love you better after that knowledge than I did before +it." + +Her head dropped into its former position on my bosom, and she +murmured a few words, but too faintly for me to hear them. + +"You knew more about your father, then, than I did?" I whispered. + +"Less than you have told me since," she interposed quickly, +without raising her face. + +"Enough to convince you that he was breaking the laws," I +suggested; "and, to make you, as his daughter, shrink from saying +'yes' to me when we sat together on the river bank?" + +She did not answer. One of her arms, which was hanging over my +shoulder, stole round my neck, and clasped it gently. + +"Since that time," I went on, "your father has compromised me. I +am in some danger, not much, from the law. I have no prospects +that are not of the most doubtful kind; and I have no excuse for +asking you to share them, except that I have fallen into my +present misfortune through trying to discover the obstacle that +kept us apart. If there is any protection in the world that you +can turn to, less doubtful than mine, I suppose I ought to say no +more, and leave the house. But if there should be none, surely I +am not so very selfish in asking you to take your chance with me? +I honestly believe that I shall have little difficulty, with +ordinary caution, in escaping from pursuit, and finding a safe +home somewhere to begin life in again with new interests. Will +you share it with me, Alicia? I can try no fresh persuasions---I +have no right, perhaps, in my present situation to have addressed +so many to you already." + +Her other arm stole round my neck; she laid her cheek against +mine, and whispered-- + +"Be kind to me, Frank--I have nobody in the world who loves me +but you!" + +I felt her tears on my face; my own eyes moistened as I tried to +answer her. We sat for some minutes in perfect silence--without +moving, without a thought beyond the moment. The rising of the +wind, and the splashing of the rain outside were the first sounds +that stirred me into action again. + +I summoned my resolution, rose from the sofa, and in a few hasty +words told Alicia what I proposed for the next day, and mentioned +the hour at which I would come in the morning. As I had +anticipated, she seemed re lieved and reassured at the prospect +even of such slight sanction and encouragement, on the part of +another woman, as would be implied by the companionship of Mrs. +Baggs on the journey to Scotland. + +The next and last difficulty I had to encounter was necessarily +connected with her father. He had never been very affectionate; +and he was now, for aught she or I knew to the contrary, parted +from her forever. Still, the instinctive recognition of his +position made her shrink, at the last moment, when she spoke of +him, and thought of the serious nature of her engagement with me. +After some vain arguing and remonstrating, I contrived to quiet +her scruples, by promising that an address should be left at +Crickgelly, to which any second letter that might arrive from the +doctor could be forwarded. When I saw that this prospect of being +able to communicate with him, if he wrote or wished to see her, +had sufficiently composed her mind, I left the drawing-room. It +was vitally important that I should get back to the inn and make +the necessary arrangements for our departure the next morning, +before the primitive people of the place had retired to bed. + +As I passed the back parlor door on my way out, I heard the voice +of Mrs. Baggs raised indignantly. The words "bottle!" "audacity!" +and "nerves!" reached my ear disjointedly. I called out "Good-by! +till to-morrow;" heard a responsive groan of disgust; then opened +the front door, and plunged out into the dark and rainy night. + +It might have been the dropping of water from the cottage roofs +while I passed through the village, or the groundless alarm of my +own suspicious fancy, but I thought I was being followed as I +walked back to the inn. Two or three times I turned round +abruptly. If twenty men had been at my heels, it was too dark to +see them. I went on to the inn. + +The people there were not gone to bed; and I sent for the +landlord to consult with him about a conveyance. Perhaps it was +my suspicious fancy again; but I thought his manner was altered. +He seemed half distrustful, half afraid of me, when I asked him +if there had been any signs, during my absence, of those two +gentlemen, for whom I had already inquired on arriving at his +door that evening. He gave an answer in the negative, looking +away from me while he spoke. + +Thinking it advisable, on the whole, not to let him see that I +noticed a change in him, I proceeded at once to the question of +the conveyance, and was told that I could hire the landlord's +light cart, in which he was accustomed to drive to the market +town. I appointed an hour for starting the next day, and retired +at once to my bedroom. There my thoughts were enough. I was +anxious about Screw and the Bow Street runner. I was uncertain +about the stranger who had called at Number Two, Zion Place. I +was in doubt even about the landlord of the inn. Never did I know +what real suffering from suspense was, until that night, Whatever +my apprehensions might have been, they were none of them realized +the next morning. + +Nobody followed me on my way to Zion Place, and no stranger had +called there before me a second time, when I made inquiries on +entering the house. I found Alicia blushing, and Mrs. Baggs +impenetrably wrapped up in dignified sulkiness. After informing +me with a lofty look that she intended to go to Scotland with us, +and to take my five-pound note--partly under protest, and partly +out of excessive affection for Alicia--she retired to pack up. +The time consumed in performing this process, and the further +delay occasioned by paying small outstanding debts to +tradespeople, and settling with the owner of the house, detained +us till nearly noon before we were ready to get into the +landlord's cart. + +I looked behind me anxiously at starting, and often afterward on +the road; but never saw anything to excite my suspicions. In +settling matters with the landlord over night, I had arranged +that we should be driven to the nearest town at which a +post-chaise could be obtained. My resources were just as likely +to hold out against the expenses of posting, where public +conveyances could not be obtained, as against the expense of +waiting privately at hotels, until the right coaches might start. +According to my calculations, my money would last till we got to +Scotland. After that, I had my watch, rings, shirtpin, and Mr. +Batterbury, to help in replenishing my purse. Anxious, therefore, +as I was about other things, money matters, for once in a way, +did not cause me the smallest uneasiness. + +CHAPTER XV. + +WE posted five-and-thirty miles, then stopped for a couple of +hours to rest, and wait for a night coach running northward. + +On getting into this vehicle we were fortunate enough to find the +fourth inside place not occupied. Mrs. Baggs showed her sense of +the freedom from restraint thus obtained by tying a huge red +comforter round her head like a turban, and immediately falling +fast asleep. This gave Alicia and me full liberty to talk as we +pleased. Our conversation was for the most part of that +particular kind which is not of the smallest importance to any +third person in the whole world. One portion of it, however, was +an exception to this general rule. It had a very positive +influence on my fortunes, and it is, therefore, I hope, of +sufficient importance to bear being communicated to the reader. + +We had changed horses for the fourth time, had seated ourselves +comfortably in our places, and had heard Mrs. Baggs resume the +kindred occupations of sleeping and snoring, when Alicia +whispered to me: + +"I must have no secrets, now, from you-- must I, Frank?" + +"You must have anything you like, do anything you like, and say +anything you like. You must never ask leave--but only grant it!" + +"Shall you always tell me that, Frank?" + +I did not answer in words, but the conversation suffered a +momentary interruption. Of what nature, susceptible people will +easily imagine. As for the hard-hearted I don't write for them. + +"My secret need not alarm you," Alicia went on, in tones that +began to sound rather sadly; "it is only about a tiny pasteboard +box that I can carry in the bosom of my dress. But it has got +three diamonds in it, Frank, and one beautiful ruby. Did you ever +give me credit for having so much that was valuable about +me?--shall I give it you to keep for me?" + +I remembered directly Old File's story of Mrs. Dulcifer's +elopement, and of the jewels she had taken with her. It was easy +to guess, after what I had heard, that the poor woman had +secretly preserved some of her little property for the benefit of +her child. + +"I have no present need of money, darling," I answered; "keep the +box in its present enviable position." I stopped there, saying +nothing of the thought that was really uppermost in my mind. If +any unforeseen accident placed me within the grip of the law, I +should not now have the double trial to endure of leaving my wife +for a prison, and leaving her helpless. + +Morning dawned and found us still awake. The sun rose, Mrs. Baggs +left off snoring, and we arrived at the last stage before the +coach stopped. + +I got out to see about some tea for my traveling companions, and +looked up at the outside passengers. One of them seated in the +dickey looked down at me. He was a countryman in a smock-frock, +with a green patch over one of his eyes. Something in the +expression of his uncovered eye made me pause--reflect--turn away +uneasily--and then look again at him furtively. A sudden shudder +ran through me from top to toe; my heart sank; and my head began +to feel giddy. The countryman in the dickey was no other than the +Bow Street runner in disguise. + +I kept away from the coach till the fresh horses were on the +point of starting, for I was afraid to let Alicia see my face, +after making that fatal discovery. She noticed how pale I was +when I got in. I made the best excuse I could; and gently +insisted on her trying to sleep a little after being awake all +night. She lay back in her corner; and Mrs. Baggs, comforted with +a morning dram in her tea, fell asleep again. I had thus an +hour's leisure before me to think what I should do next. + +Screw was not in company with the runner this time. He must have +managed to ident ify me somewhere, and the officer doubtless knew +my personal appearance well enough now to follow and make sure of +me without help. That I was the man whom he was tracking could +not be doubted: his disguise and his position on the top of the +coach proved it only too plainly. + +But why had he not seized me at once? Probably because he had +some ulterior purpose to serve, which would have been thwarted by +my immediate apprehension. What that purpose was I did my best to +fathom, and, as I thought, succeeded in the attempt. What I was +to do when the coach stopped was a more difficult point to +settle. To give the runner the slip, with two women to take care +of, was simply impossible. To treat him, as I had treated Screw +at the red-brick house, was equally out of the question, for he +was certain to give me no chance of catching him alone. To keep +him in ignorance of the real object of my journey, and thereby to +delay his discovering himself and attempting to make me a +prisoner, seemed the only plan on the safety of which I could +place the smallest reliance. If I had ever had any idea of +following the example of other runaway lovers, and going to +Gretna Green, I should now have abandoned it. All roads in that +direction would betray what the purpose of my journey was if I +took them. Some large town in Scotland would be the safest +destination that I could publicly advertise myself as bound for. +Why not boldly say that I was going with the two ladies to +Edinburgh? + +Such was the plan of action which I now adopted. + +To give any idea of the distracted condition of my mind at the +time when I was forming it, is simply impossible. As for doubting +whether I ought to marry at all under these dangerous +circumstances, I must frankly own that I was too selfishly and +violently in love to look the question fairly in the face at +first. When I subsequently forced myself to consider it, the most +distinct project I could frame for overcoming all difficulty was, +to marry myself (the phrase is strictly descriptive of the Scotch +ceremony) at the first inn we came to, over the Border; to hire a +chaise, or take places in a public conveyance to Edinburgh, as a +blind; to let Alicia and Mrs. Baggs occupy those places; to +remain behind myself; and to trust to my audacity and cunning, +when left alone, to give the runner the slip. Writing of it now, +in cool blood, this seems as wild and hopeless a plan as ever was +imagined. But, in the confused and distracted state of all my +faculties at that period, it seemed quite easy to execute, and +not in the least doubtful as to any one of its probable results. + +On reaching the town at which the coach stopped, we found +ourselves obliged to hire another chaise for a short distance, in +order to get to the starting-point of a second coach. Again we +took inside places, and again, at the first stages when I got +down to look at the outside passengers, there was the countryman +with the green shade over his eye. Whatever conveyance we +traveled by on our northward road, we never escaped him. He never +attempted to speak to me, never seemed to notice me, and never +lost sight of me. On and on we went, over roads that seemed +interminable, and still the dreadful sword of justice hung +always, by its single hair, over my head. My haggard face, my +feverish hands, my confused manner, my inexpressible impatience, +all belied the excuses with which I desperately continued to ward +off Alicia's growing fears, and Mrs. Baggs's indignant +suspicions. "Oh! Frank, something has happened! For God's sake, +tell me what!"--"Mr. Softly, I can see through a deal board as +far as most people. You are following the doctor's wicked +example, and showing a want of confidence in me." These were the +remonstrances of Alicia and the housekeeper. + +At last we got out of England, and I was still a free man. The +chaise (we were posting again) brought us into a dirty town, and +drew up at the door of a shabby inn. A shock-headed girl received +us. + +"Are we in Scotland?" I asked. + +"Mon! whar' else should ye be?" The accent relieved me of all +doubt. + +"A private room--something to eat, ready in an hour's +time--chaise afterward to the nearest place from which a coach +runs to Edinburgh." Giving these orders rapidly, I followed the +girl with my traveling companions into a stuffy little room. As +soon as our attendant had left us, I locked the door, put the key +in my pocket, and took Alicia by the hand. + +"Now, Mrs. Baggs," said I, "bear witness--" + +"You're not going to marry her now!" interposed Mrs. Baggs, +indignantly. "Bear witness, indeed! I won't bear witness till +I've taken off my bonnet, and put my hair tidy!" + +"The ceremony won't take a minute," I answered; "and I'll give +you your five-pound note and open the door the moment it's over. +Bear witness," I went on, drowning Mrs. Baggs's expostulations +with the all-important marriage-words, "that I take this woman, +Alicia Dulcifer for my lawful wedded wife." + +"In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth," broke in Mrs. +Baggs, determining to represent the clergyman as well as to be +the witness. + +"Alicia, dear," I said, interrupting in my turn, "repeat my +words. Say 'I take this man, Francis Softly, for my lawful wedded +husband.' " + +She repeated the sentence, with her face very pale, with her dear +hand cold and trembling in mine. + +"For better for worse," continued the indomitable Mrs. Baggs. +"Little enough of the Better, I'm afraid, and Lord knows how much +of the Worse." + +I stopped her again with the promised five-pound note, and opened +the room door. "Now, ma'am," I said, "go to your room; take off +your bonnet, and put your hair as tidy as you please." + +Mrs. Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven, exclaimed +"Disgraceful!" and flounced out of the room in a passion. Such +was my Scotch marriage--as lawful a ceremony, remember, as the +finest family wedding at the largest parish church in all +England. + +An hour passed; and I had not yet summoned the cruel courage to +communicate my real situation to Alicia. The entry of the +shock-headed servant-girl to lay the cloth, followed by Mrs. +Baggs, who was never out of the way where eating and drinking +appeared in prospect, helped me to rouse myself. I resolved to go +out for a few minutes to reconnoiter, and make myself acquainted +with any facilities for flight or hiding which the situation of +the house might present. No doubt the Bow Street runner was +lurking somewhere; but he must, as a matter of course, have +heard, or informed himself, of the orders I had given relating to +our conveyance on to Edinburgh; and, in that case, I was still no +more in danger of his avowing himself and capturing me, than I +had been at any previous period of our journey. + +"I am going out for a moment, love, to see about the chaise," I +said to Alicia. She suddenly looked up at me with an anxious +searching expression. Was my face betraying anything of my real +purpose? I hurried to the door before she could ask me a single +question. + +The front of the inn stood nearly in the middle of the principal +street of the town. No chance of giving any one the slip in that +direction; and no sign, either, of the Bow Street runner. I +sauntered round, with the most unconcerned manner I could assume, +to the back of the house, by the inn yard. A door in one part of +it stood half-open. Inside was a bit of kitchen-garden, bounded +by a paling; beyond that some backs of detached houses; beyond +them, again, a plot of weedy ground, a few wretched cottages, and +the open, heathery moor. Good enough for running away, but +terribly bad for hiding. + +I returned disconsolately to the inn. Walking along the passage +toward the staircase, I suddenly heard footsteps behind +me--turned round, and saw the Bow Street runner (clothed again in +his ordinary costume, and accompanied by two strange men) +standing between me and the door. + +"Sorry to stop you from going to Edinburgh, Mr. Softly," he said. +"But you're wanted back at Barkingham. I've just found out what +you have been traveling all the way to Scotland for; and I take +you prisoner, as one of the coining gang. Take it easy, sir. I've +got help, you see; and you can't throttle three men, whatever you +may have d one at Barkingham with one." + +He handcuffed me as he spoke. Resistance was hopeless. I could +only make an appeal to his mercy, on Alicia's account. + +"Give me ten minutes," I said, "to break what has happened to my +wife. We were only married an hour ago. If she knows this +suddenly, it may be the death of her." + +"You've led me a nice dance on a wrong scent," answered the +runner, sulkily. "But I never was a hard man where women are +concerned. Go upstairs, and leave the door open, so that I can +see in through it if I like. Hold your hat over your wrists, if +you don't want her to see the handcuffs." + +I ascended the first flight of stairs, and my heart gave a sudden +bound as if it would burst. I stopped, speechless and helpless, +at the sight of Alicia, standing alone on the landing. My first +look at her face told me she had heard all that had passed in the +passage. She passionately struck the hat with which I had been +trying to hide the handcuffs out of my fingers, and clasped me in +her arms with such sudden and desperate energy that she +absolutely hurt me. + +"I was afraid of something, Frank," she whispered. "I followed +you a little way. I stopped here; I have heard everything. Don't +let us be parted! I am stronger than you think me. I won't be +frightened. I won't cry. I won't trouble anybody, if that man +will only take me with you!" + +It is best for my sake, if not for the reader's, to hurry over +the scene that followed. + +It ended with as little additional wretchedness as could be +expected. The runner was resolute about keeping me handcuffed, +and taking me back, without a moment's unnecessary waste of time +to Barkingham; but he relented on other points. + +Where he was obliged to order a private conveyance, there was no +objection to Alicia and Mrs. Baggs following it. Where we got +into a coach, there was no harm in their hiring two inside +places. I gave my watch, rings, and last guinea to Alicia, +enjoining her, on no account, to let her box of jewels see the +light until we could get proper advice on the best means of +turning them to account. She listened to these and other +directions with a calmness that astonished me. + +"You shan't say, my dear, that your wife has helped to make you +uneasy by so much as a word or a look," she whispered to me as we +left the inn. + +And she kept the hard promise implied in that one short sentence +throughout the journey. Once only did I see her lose her +self-possession. At starting on our way south, Mrs. Baggs--taking +the same incomprehensible personal offense at my misfortune which +she had previously taken at the doctor's--upbraided me with my +want of confidence in her, and declared that it was the main +cause of all my present trouble. Alicia turned on her as she was +uttering the words, with a look and a warning that silenced her +in an instant: + +"If you say another syllable that isn't kind to him, you shall +find your way back by yourself!" + +The words may not seem of much importance to others; but I +thought, as I overheard them, that they justified every sacrifice +I had made for my wife's sake. + +CHAPTER XVI. + +ON our way back I received from the runner some explanation of +his apparently unaccountable proceedings in reference to myself. + +To begin at the beginning, it turned out that the first act of +the officers, on their release from the workroom in the red-brick +house, was to institute a careful search for papers in the +doctor's study and bedroom. Among the other documents that he had +not had time to destroy, was a letter to him from Alicia, which +they took from one of the pockets of his dressing-gown. Finding, +from the report of the men who had followed the gig, that he had +distanced all pursuit, and having therefore no direct clew to his +whereabout, they had been obliged to hunt after him in various +directions, on pure speculation. Alicia's letter to her father +gave the address of the house at Crickgelly; and to this the +runner repaired, on the chance of intercepting or discovering any +communications which the doctor might make to his daughter, Screw +being taken with the officer to identify the young lady. After +leaving the last coach, they posted to within a mile of +Crickgelly, and then walked into the village, in order to excite +no special attention, should the doctor be lurking in the +neighborhood. The runner had tried ineffectually to gain +admission as a visitor at Zion Place. After having the door shut +on him, he and Screw had watched the house and village, and had +seen me approach Number Two. Their suspicions were directly +excited. + +Thus far, Screw had not recognized, nor even observed me; but he +immediately identified me by my voice, while I was parleying with +the stupid servant at the door. The runner, hearing who I was, +reasonably enough concluded that I must be the recognized medium +of communication between the doctor and his daughter, especially +when he found that I was admitted, instantly after calling, past +the servant, to some one inside the house. + +Leaving Screw on the watch, he went to the inn, discovered +himself privately to the landlord, and made sure (in more ways +than one, as I conjectured) of knowing when, and in what +direction, I should leave Crickgelly. On finding that I was to +leave it the next morning, with Alicia and Mrs. Baggs, he +immediately suspected that I was charged with the duty of taking +the daughter to, or near, the place chosen for the father's +retreat; and had therefore abstained from interfering prematurely +with my movements. Knowing whither we were bound in the cart, he +had ridden after us, well out of sight, with his countryman's +disguise ready for use in the saddle-bags-- Screw, in case of any +mistakes or mystifications, being left behind on the watch at +Crickgelly. + +The possibility that I might be running away with Alicia had +suggested itself to him; but he dismissed it as improbable, first +when he saw that Mrs. Baggs accompanied us, and again, when, on +nearing Scotland, he found that we did not take the road to +Gretna Green. He acknowledged, in conclusion, that he should have +followed us to Edinburgh, or even to the Continent itself, on the +chance of our leading him to the doctor's retreat, but for the +servant girl at the inn, who had listened outside the door while +our brief marriage ceremony was proceeding, and from whom, with +great trouble and delay, he had extracted all the information he +required. A further loss of half an hour's time had occurred +while he was getting the necessary help to assist him, in the +event of my resisting, or trying to give him the slip, in making +me a prisoner. These small facts accounted for the hour's respite +we had enjoyed at the inn, and terminated the runner's narrative +of his own proceedings. + +On arriving at our destination I was, of course, immediately +taken to the jail. + +Alicia, by my advice, engaged a modest lodging in a suburb of +Barkingham. In the days of the red-brick house, she had seldom +been seen in the town, and she was not at all known by sight in +the suburb. We arranged that she was to visit me as often as the +authorities would let her. She had no companion, and wanted none. +Mrs. Baggs, who had never forgiven the rebuke administered to her +at the starting-point of our journey, left us at the close of it. +Her leave-taking was dignified and pathetic. She kindly informed +Alicia that she wished her well, though she could not +conscientiously look upon her as a lawful married woman; and she +begged me (in case I got off), the next time I met with a +respectable person who was kind to me, to profit by remembering +my past errors, and to treat my next benefactress with more +confidence than I had treated her. + +My first business in the prison was to write to Mr. Batterbury. + +I had a magnificent ease to present to him, this time. Although I +believed myself, and had succeeded in persuading Alicia, that I +was sure of being recommended to mercy, it was not the less the +fact that I was charged with an offense still punishable by +death, in the then barbarous state of the law. I delicately +stated just enough of my case to make one thing clear to the mind +of Mr. Batterbury. My affectionate sister's interest in the +contingent reversion was now ( unless Lady Malkinshaw perversely +and suddenly expired) actually threatened by the Gallows! + +While calmly awaiting the answer, I was by no means without +subjects to occupy my attention when Alicia was not at the +prison. There was my fellow-workman--Mill--(the first member of +our society betrayed by Screw) to compare notes with; and there +was a certain prisoner who had been transported, and who had some +very important and interesting particulars to communicate, +relative to life and its chances in our felon-settlements at the +Antipodes. I talked a great deal with this man; for I felt that +his experience might be of the greatest possible benefit to me. + +Mr. Batterbury's answer was speedy, short, and punctual. I had +shattered his nervous system forever, he wrote, but had only +stimulated his devotion to my family, and his Christian readiness +to look pityingly on my transgressions. He had engaged the leader +of the circuit to defend me; and he would have come to see me, +but for Mrs. Batterbury; who had implored him not to expose +himself to agitation. Of Lady Malkinshaw the letter said nothing; +but I afterward discovered that she was then at Cheltenham, +drinking the waters and playing whist in the rudest health and +spirits. + +It is a bold thing to say, but nothing will ever persuade me that +Society has not a sneaking kindness for a Rogue. + +For example, my father never had half the attention shown to him +in his own house, which was shown to me in my prison. I have seen +High Sheriffs in the great world, whom my father went to see, +give him two fingers--the High Sheriff of Barkinghamshire came to +see me, and shook hands cordially. Nobody ever wanted my father's +autograph--dozens of people asked for mine. Nobody ever put my +father's portrait in the frontispiece of a magazine, or described +his personal appearance and manners with anxious elaboration, in +the large type of a great newspaper--I enjoyed both those honors. +Three official individuals politely begged me to be sure and make +complaints if my position was not perfectly comfortable. No +official individual ever troubled his head whether my father was +comfortable or not. When the day of my trial came, the court was +thronged by my lovely countrywomen, who stood up panting in the +crowd and crushing their beautiful dresses, rather than miss the +pleasure of seeing the dear Rogue in the dock. When my father +once stood on the lecturer's rostrum, and delivered his excellent +discourse, called "Medical Hints to Maids and Mothers on Tight +Lacing and Teething," the benches were left empty by the +ungrateful women of England, who were not in the slightest degree +anxious to feast their eyes on the sight of a learned adviser and +respectable man. If these facts led to one inevitable conclusion, +it is not my fault. We Rogues are the spoiled children of +Society. We may not be openly acknowledged as Pets, but we all +know, by pleasant experience, that we are treated like them. + +The trial was deeply affecting. My defense --or rather my +barrister's--was the simple truth. It was impossible to overthrow +the facts against us; so we honestly owned that I got into the +scrape through love for Alicia. My counsel turned this to the +best possible sentimental account. He cried; the ladies cried; +the jury cried; the judge cried; and Mr. Batterbury, who had +desperately come to see the trial, and know the worst, sobbed +with such prominent vehemence, that I believe him, to this day, +to have greatly influenced the verdict. I was strongly +recommended to mercy and got off with fourteen years' +transportation. The unfortunate Mill, who was tried after me, +with a mere dry-eyed barrister to defend him, was hanged. + +POSTSCRIPT. + +WITH the record of my sentence of transportation, my life as a +Rogue ends, and my existence as a respectable man begins. I am +sorry to say anything which may disturb popular delusions on the +subject of poetical justice, but this is strictly the truth. + +My first anxiety was about my wife's future. + +Mr. Batterbury gave me no chance of asking his advice after the +trial. The moment sentence had been pronounced, he allowed +himself to be helped out of court in a melancholy state of +prostration, and the next morning he left for London. I suspect +he was afraid to face me, and nervously impatient, besides, to +tell Annabella that he had saved the legacy again by another +alarming sacrifice. My father and mother, to whom I had written +on the subject of Alicia, were no more to be depended on than Mr. +Batterbury. My father, in answering my letter, told me that he +conscientiously believed he had done enough in forgiving me for +throwing away an excellent education, and disgracing a +respectable name. He added that he had not allowed my letter for +my mother to reach her, out of pitying regard for her broken +health and spirits; and he ended by telling me (what was perhaps +very true) that the wife of such a son as I had been, had no +claim upon her father-in-law's protection and help. There was an +end, then, of any hope of finding resources for Alicia among the +members of my own family. + +The next thing was to discover a means of providing for her +without assistance. I had formed a project for this, after +meditating over my conversations with the returned transport in +Barkingham jail, and I had taken a reliable opinion on the +chances of successfully executing my design from the solicitor +who had prepared my defense. + +Alicia herself was so earnestly in favor of assisting in my +experiment, that she declared she would prefer death to its +abandonment. Accordingly, the necessary preliminaries were +arranged; and, when we parted, it was some mitigation of our +grief to know that there was a time appointed for meeting again. +Alicia was to lodge with a distant relative of her mother's in a +suburb of London; was to concert measures with this relative on +the best method of turning her jewels into money; and was to +follow her convict husband to the Antipodes, under a feigned +name, in six months' time. + +If my family had not abandoned me, I need not have thus left her +to help herself. As it was, I had no choice. One consolation +supported me at parting--she was in no danger of persecution from +her father. A second letter from him had arrived at Crickgelly, +and had been forwarded to the address I had left for it. It was +dated Hamburg, and briefly told her to remain at Crickgelly, and +expect fresh instructions, explanations, and a supply of money, +as soon as he had settled the important business matters which +had taken him abroad. His daughter answered the letter, telling +him of her marriage, and giving him an address at a post-office +to write to, if he chose to reply to her communication. There the +matter rested. + +What was I to do on my side? Nothing but establish a reputation +for mild behavior. I began to manufacture a character for myself +for the first days of our voyage out in the convict-ship; and I +landed at the penal settlement with the reputation of being the +meekest and most biddable of felonious mankind. + +After a short probationary experience of such low convict +employments as lime-burning and road-mending, I was advanced to +occupations more in harmony with my education. Whatever I did, I +never neglected the first great obligation of making myself +agreeable and amusing to everybody. My social reputation as a +good fellow began to stand as high at one end of the world as +ever it stood at the other. The months passed more quickly than I +had dared to hope. The expiration of my first year of +transportation was approaching, and already pleasant hints of my +being soon assigned to private service began to reach my ears. +This was the first of the many ends I was now working for; and +the next pleasant realization of my hopes that I had to expect, +was the arrival of Alicia. + +She came, a month later than I had anticipated; safe and +blooming, with five hundred pounds as the produce of her jewels, +and with the old Crickgelly alias (changed from Miss to Mrs. +Giles), to prevent any suspicions of the connection between us. + +Her story (concocted by me before I left England) was, that she +was a widow lady, who had come to settle in Australia, and make +the most of + her little property in the New World. One of the first things +Mrs. Giles wanted was necessarily a trustworthy servant, and she +had to make her choice of one among the convicts of good +character, to be assigned to private service. Being one of that +honorable body myself at the time, it is needless to say that I +was the fortunate man on whom Mrs. Giles's choice fell. The first +situation I got in Australia was as servant to my own wife. + +Alicia made a very indulgent mistress. + +If she had been mischievously inclined, she might, by application +to a magistrate, have had me flogged or set to work in chains on +the roads, whenever I became idle or insubordinate, which +happened occasionally. But instead of complaining, the kind +creature kissed and made much of her footman by stealth, after +his day's work. She allowed him no female followers, and only +employed one woman-servant occasionally, who was both old and +ugly. The name of the footman was Dear in private, and Francis in +company; and when the widowed mistress, upstairs, refused +eligible offers of marriage (which was pretty often), the favored +domestic in the kitchen was always informed of it, and asked, +with the sweetest humility, if he approved of the proceeding. + +Not to dwell on this anomalous period of my existence, let me say +briefly that my new position with my wife was of the greatest +advantage in enabling me to direct in secret the profitable uses +to which her little fortune was put. + +We began in this way with an excellent speculation in +cattle--buying them for shillings and selling them for pounds. +With the profits thus obtained, we next tried our hands at +houses--first buying in a small way, then boldly building, and +letting again and selling to great advantage. While these +speculations were in progress, my behavior in my wife's service +was so exemplary, and she gave me so excellent a character when +the usual official inquiries were instituted, that I soon got the +next privilege accorded to persons in my situation--a +ticket-of-leave. By the time this had been again exchanged for a +conditional pardon (which allowed me to go about where I pleased +in Australia, and to trade in my own name like any unconvicted +merchant) our house-property had increased enormously, our land +had been sold for public buildings, and we had shares in the +famous Emancipist's Bank, which produced quite a little income of +themselves. + +There was now no need to keep the mask on any longer. + +I went through the superfluous ceremony of a second marriage with +Alicia; took stores in the city; built a villa in the country; +and here I am at this present moment of writing, a convict +aristocrat--a prosperous, wealthy, highly respectable mercantile +man, with two years of my sentence of transportation still to +expire. I have a barouche and two bay horses, a coachman and page +in neat liveries, three charming children, and a French +governess, a boudoir and lady's-maid for my wife. She is as +handsome as ever, but getting a little fat. So am I, as a worthy +friend remarked when I recently appeared holding the plate, at +our last charity sermon. + +What would my surviving relatives and associates in England say, +if they could see me now? I have heard of them at different times +and through various channels. Lady Malkinshaw, after living to +the verge of a hundred, and surviving all sorts of accidents, +died quietly one afternoon, in her chair, with an empty dish +before her, and without giving the slightest notice to anybody. +Mr. Batterbury, having sacrificed so much to his wife's +reversion, profited nothing by its falling in at last. His +quarrels with my amiable sister--which took their rise from his +interested charities toward me--ended in producing a separation. +And, far from saving anything by Annabella's inheritance of her +pin-money, he had a positive loss to put up with, in the shape of +some hundreds extracted yearly from his income, as alimony to his +uncongenial wife. He is said to make use of shocking language +whenever my name is mentioned, and to wish that he had been +carried off by the yellow fever before he ever set eyes on the +Softly family. + +My father has retired from practice. He and my mother have gone +to live in the country, near the mansion of the only marquis with +whom my father was actually and personally acquainted in his +professional days. The marquis asks him to dinner once a year, +and leaves a card for my mother before he returns to town for the +season. A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw hangs in the dining-room. +In this way, my parents are ending their days contentedly. I can +honestly say that I am glad to hear it. + +Doctor Dulcifer, when I last heard of him, was editing a +newspaper in America. Old File, who shared his flight, still +shares his fortunes, being publisher of his newspaper. Young File +resumed coining operations in London; and, having braved his fate +a second time, threaded his way, in due course, up to the steps +of the scaffold. Screw carries on the profitable trade of +informer, in London. The dismal disappearance of Mill I have +already recorded. + +So much on the subject of my relatives and associates. On the +subject of myself, I might still write on at considerable length. +But while the libelous title of "A ROGUE'S LIFE" stares me in the +face at the top of the page, how can I, as a rich and reputable +man, be expected to communicate any further autobiographical +particulars, in this place, to a discerning public of readers? +No, no, my friends! I am no longer interesting--I am only +respectable like yourselves. It is time to say "Good-by." + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Man and Wife, by Wilkie Collins + |