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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:17:22 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/1588-0.txt b/1588-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d42d016 --- /dev/null +++ b/1588-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5305 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Rogue’s Life, by Wilkie Collins + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Rogue’s Life + +Author: Wilkie Collins + +Release Date: February 21, 2006 [EBook #1588] +Last Updated: September 11, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE’S LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + + + + + +A ROGUE’S LIFE + +by Wilkie Collins + + + + +INTRODUCTORY WORDS. + +The following pages were written more than twenty years since, and were +then published periodically in _Household Words._ + +In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably +received. Year after year, I delayed the republication, proposing, +at the suggestion of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, to enlarge +the present sketch of the hero’s adventures in Australia. But the +opportunity of carrying out this project has proved to be one of the +lost opportunities of my life. I republish the story with its +original conclusion unaltered, but with such occasional additions and +improvements as will, I hope, render it more worthy of attention at the +present time. + +The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost boisterous +gayety in certain parts of these imaginary Confessions. I can only +plead, in defense, that the story offers the faithful reflection of a +very happy time in my past life. It was written at Paris, when I had +Charles Dickens for a near neighbor and a daily companion, and when +my leisure hours were joyously passed with many other friends, all +associated with literature and art, of whom the admirable comedian, +Regnier, is now the only survivor. The revising of these pages has been +to me a melancholy task. I can only hope that they may cheer the sad +moments of others. The Rogue may surely claim two merits, at least, +in the eyes of the new generation--he is never serious for two moments +together; and he “doesn’t take long to read.” W. C. + +GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, _March_ 6th, 1879. + + + + +A ROGUE’S LIFE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +I AM going to try if I can’t write something about myself. My life +has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly useful or +respectable; but it has been, in some respects, adventurous; and that +may give it claims to be read, even in the most prejudiced circles. I +am an example of some of the workings of the social system of this +illustrious country on the individual native, during the early part of +the present century; and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I +should like to quote myself for the edification of my countrymen. + +Who am I. + +I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this world +with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a grandmother, +her ladyship’s daughter for a mother, and Francis James Softly, Esq., M. +D. (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a father. I put my father last, +because he was not so well connected as my mother, and my grandmother +first, because she was the most nobly-born person of the three. I have +been, am still, and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not +abandoned enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this +account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my feelings +as to expect me to say much about my mother’s brother. That inhuman +person committed an outrage on his family by making a fortune in the +soap and candle trade. I apologize for mentioning him, even in an +accidental way. The fact is, he left my sister, Annabella, a legacy of +rather a peculiar kind, saddled with certain conditions which indirectly +affected me; but this passage of family history need not be produced +just yet. I apologize a second time for alluding to money matters before +it was absolutely necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and reputable +subject, by saying a word or two more about my father. + +I am rather afraid that Doctor Softly was not a clever medical man; for +in spite of his great connections, he did not get a very magnificent +practice as a physician. + +As a general practitioner, he might have bought a comfortable business, +with a house and snug surgery-shop attached; but the son-in-law of Lady +Malkinshaw was obliged to hold up his head, and set up his carriage, and +live in a street near a fashionable square, and keep an expensive +and clumsy footman to answer the door, instead of a cheap and tidy +housemaid. How he managed to “maintain his position” (that is the right +phrase, I think), I never could tell. His wife did not bring him a +farthing. When the honorable and gallant baronet, her father, died, he +left the widowed Lady Malkinshaw with her worldly affairs in a curiously +involved state. Her son (of whom I feel truly ashamed to be obliged to +speak again so soon) made an effort to extricate his mother--involved +himself in a series of pecuniary disasters, which commercial people +call, I believe, transactions--struggled for a little while to get out +of them in the character of an independent gentleman--failed--and then +spiritlessly availed himself of the oleaginous refuge of the soap and +candle trade. His mother always looked down upon him after this; but +borrowed money of him also--in order to show, I suppose, that her +maternal interest in her son was not quite extinct. My father tried +to follow her example--in his wife’s interests, of course; but the +soap-boiler brutally buttoned up his pockets, and told my father to go +into business for himself. Thus it happened that we were certainly a +poor family, in spite of the fine appearance we made, the fashionable +street we lived in, the neat brougham we kept, and the clumsy and +expensive footman who answered our door. + +What was to be done with me in the way of education? + +If my father had consulted his means, I should have been sent to a +cheap commercial academy; but he had to consult his relationship to Lady +Malkinshaw; so I was sent to one of the most fashionable and famous of +the great public schools. I will not mention it by name, because I don’t +think the masters would be proud of my connection with it. I ran away +three times, and was flogged three times. I made four aristocratic +connections, and had four pitched battles with them: three thrashed me, +and one I thrashed. I learned to play at cricket, to hate rich people, +to cure warts, to write Latin verses, to swim, to recite speeches, to +cook kidneys on toast, to draw caricatures of the masters, to construe +Greek plays, to black boots, and to receive kicks and serious advice +resignedly. Who will say that the fashionable public school was of no +use to me after that? + +After I left school, I had the narrowest escape possible of intruding +myself into another place of accommodation for distinguished people; in +other words, I was very nearly being sent to college. Fortunately for +me, my father lost a lawsuit just in the nick of time, and was obliged +to scrape together every farthing of available money that he possessed +to pay for the luxury of going to law. If he could have saved his seven +shillings, he would certainly have sent me to scramble for a place in +the pit of the great university theater; but his purse was empty, and +his son was not eligible therefore for admission, in a gentlemanly +capacity, at the doors. + +The next thing was to choose a profession. + +Here the Doctor was liberality itself, in leaving me to my own devices. +I was of a roving adventurous temperament, and I should have liked to +go into the army. But where was the money to come from, to pay for my +commission? As to enlisting in the ranks, and working my way up, +the social institutions of my country obliged the grandson of Lady +Malkinshaw to begin military life as an officer and gentleman, or not +to begin it at all. The army, therefore, was out of the question. The +Church? Equally out of the question: since I could not pay for admission +to the prepared place of accommodation for distinguished people, and +could not accept a charitable free pass, in consequence of my high +connections. The Bar? I should be five years getting to it, and should +have to spend two hundred a year in going circuit before I had earned a +farthing. Physic? This really seemed the only gentlemanly refuge left; +and yet, with the knowledge of my father’s experience before me, I was +ungrateful enough to feel a secret dislike for it. It is a degrading +confession to make; but I remember wishing I was not so highly +connected, and absolutely thinking that the life of a commercial +traveler would have suited me exactly, if I had not been a poor +gentleman. Driving about from place to place, living jovially at inns, +seeing fresh faces constantly, and getting money by all this enjoyment, +instead of spending it--what a life for me, if I had been the son of a +haberdasher and the grandson of a groom’s widow! + +While my father was uncertain what to do with me, a new profession was +suggested by a friend, which I shall repent not having been allowed +to adopt, to the last day of my life. This friend was an eccentric old +gentleman of large property, much respected in our family. One day, +my father, in my presence, asked his advice about the best manner of +starting me in life, with due credit to my connections and sufficient +advantage to myself. + +“Listen to my experience,” said our eccentric friend, “and, if you are +a wise man, you will make up your mind as soon as you have heard me. I +have three sons. I brought my eldest son up to the Church; he is said to +be getting on admirably, and he costs me three hundred a year. I brought +my second son up to the Bar; he is said to be getting on admirably, +and he costs me four hundred a year. I brought my third son up to +_Quadrilles_--he has married an heiress, and he costs me nothing.” + +Ah, me! if that worthy sage’s advice had only been followed--if I had +been brought up to Quadrilles!--if I had only been cast loose on the +ballrooms of London, to qualify under Hymen, for a golden degree! Oh! +you young ladies with money, I was five feet ten in my stockings; I was +great at small-talk and dancing; I had glossy whiskers, curling locks, +and a rich voice! Ye girls with golden guineas, ye nymphs with crisp +bank-notes, mourn over the husband you have lost among you--over the +Rogue who has broken the laws which, as the partner of a landed or +fund-holding woman, he might have helped to make on the benches of +the British Parliament! Oh! ye hearths and homes sung about in so +many songs--written about in so many books--shouted about in so many +speeches, with accompaniment of so much loud cheering: what a settler +on the hearth-rug; what a possessor of property; what a bringer-up of a +family, was snatched away from you, when the son of Dr. Softly was lost +to the profession of Quadrilles! + +It ended in my resigning myself to the misfortune of being a doctor. + +If I was a very good boy and took pains, and carefully mixed in the best +society, I might hope in the course of years to succeed to my father’s +brougham, fashionably-situated house, and clumsy and expensive footman. +There was a prospect for a lad of spirit, with the blood of the early +Malkinshaws (who were Rogues of great capacity and distinction in the +feudal times) coursing adventurous through every vein! I look back on my +career, and when I remember the patience with which I accepted a medical +destiny, I appear to myself in the light of a hero. Nay, I even went +beyond the passive virtue of accepting my destiny--I actually studied, I +made the acquaintance of the skeleton, I was on friendly terms with the +muscular system, and the mysteries of Physiology dropped in on me in the +kindest manner whenever they had an evening to spare. + +Even this was not the worst of it. I disliked the abstruse studies of my +new profession; but I absolutely hated the diurnal slavery of qualifying +myself, in a social point of view, for future success in it. My fond +medical parent insisted on introducing me to his whole connection. I +went round visiting in the neat brougham--with a stethoscope and medical +review in the front-pocket, with Doctor Softly by my side, keeping +his face well in view at the window--to canvass for patients, in the +character of my father’s hopeful successor. Never have I been so ill at +ease in prison, as I was in that carriage. I have felt more at home +in the dock (such is the natural depravity and perversity of my +disposition) than ever I felt in the drawing-rooms of my father’s +distinguished patrons and respectable friends. Nor did my miseries end +with the morning calls. I was commanded to attend all dinner-parties, +and to make myself agreeable at all balls. The dinners were the worst +trial. Sometimes, indeed, we contrived to get ourselves asked to the +houses of high and mighty entertainers, where we ate the finest French +dishes and drank the oldest vintages, and fortified ourselves sensibly +and snugly in that way against the frigidity of the company. Of these +repasts I have no hard words to say; it is of the dinners we gave +ourselves, and of the dinners which people in our rank of life gave to +us, that I now bitterly complain. + +Have you ever observed the remarkable adherence to set forms of speech +which characterizes the talkers of arrant nonsense! Precisely the same +sheepish following of one given example distinguishes the ordering of +genteel dinners. + +When we gave a dinner at home, we had gravy soup, turbot and +lobster-sauce, haunch of mutton, boiled fowls and tongue, lukewarm +oyster-patties and sticky curry for side-dishes; wild duck, +cabinet-pudding, jelly, cream and tartlets. All excellent things, except +when you have to eat them continually. We lived upon them entirely in +the season. Every one of our hospitable friends gave us a return dinner, +which was a perfect copy of ours--just as ours was a perfect copy of +theirs, last year. They boiled what we boiled, and we roasted what they +roasted. We none of us ever changed the succession of the courses--or +made more or less of them--or altered the position of the fowls opposite +the mistress and the haunch opposite the master. My stomach used to +quail within me, in those times, when the tureen was taken off and +the inevitable gravy-soup smell renewed its daily acquaintance with my +nostrils, and warned me of the persistent eatable formalities that were +certain to follow. I suppose that honest people, who have known what it +is to get no dinner (being a Rogue, I have myself never wanted for one), +have gone through some very acute suffering under that privation. It may +be some consolation to them to know that, next to absolute starvation, +the same company-dinner, every day, is one of the hardest trials that +assail human endurance. I date my first serious determination to throw +over the medical profession at the earliest convenient opportunity, +from the second season’s series of dinners at which my aspirations, as a +rising physician, unavoidably and regularly condemned me to be present. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE opportunity I wanted presented itself in a curious way, and led, +unexpectedly enough, to some rather important consequences. + +I have already stated, among the other branches of human attainment +which I acquired at the public school, that I learned to draw +caricatures of the masters who were so obliging as to educate me. I +had a natural faculty for this useful department of art. I improved it +greatly by practice in secret after I left school, and I ended by making +it a source of profit and pocket money to me when I entered the medical +profession. What was I to do? I could not expect for years to make a +halfpenny, as a physician. My genteel walk in life led me away from all +immediate sources of emolument, and my father could only afford to give +me an allowance which was too preposterously small to be mentioned. I +had helped myself surreptitiously to pocket-money at school, by selling +my caricatures, and I was obliged to repeat the process at home! + +At the time of which I write, the Art of Caricature was just approaching +the close of its colored and most extravagant stage of development. The +subtlety and truth to Nature required for the pursuit of it now, had +hardly begun to be thought of then. Sheer farce and coarse burlesque, +with plenty of color for the money, still made up the sum of what the +public of those days wanted. I was first assured of my capacity for the +production of these requisites, by a medical friend of the ripe critical +age of nineteen. He knew a print-publisher, and enthusiastically showed +him a portfolio full of my sketches, taking care at my request not to +mention my name. Rather to my surprise (for I was too conceited to be +greatly amazed by the circumstance), the publisher picked out a few of +the best of my wares, and boldly bought them of me--of course, at his +own price. From that time I became, in an anonymous way, one of the +young buccaneers of British Caricature; cruising about here, there and +everywhere, at all my intervals of spare time, for any prize in the +shape of a subject which it was possible to pick up. Little did my +highly-connected mother think that, among the colored prints in the +shop-window, which disrespectfully illustrated the public and private +proceedings of distinguished individuals, certain specimens bearing +the classic signature of “Thersites Junior,” were produced from designs +furnished by her studious and medical son. Little did my respectable +father imagine when, with great difficulty and vexation, he succeeded in +getting me now and then smuggled, along with himself, inside the pale +of fashionable society--that he was helping me to study likenesses which +were destined under my reckless treatment to make the public laugh at +some of his most august patrons, and to fill the pockets of his son with +professional fees, never once dreamed of in his philosophy. + +For more than a year I managed, unsuspected, to keep the Privy Purse +fairly supplied by the exercise of my caricaturing abilities. But the +day of detection was to come. + +Whether my medical friend’s admiration of my satirical sketches led him +into talking about them in public with too little reserve; or whether +the servants at home found private means of watching me in my moments +of Art-study, I know not: but that some one betrayed me, and that +the discovery of my illicit manufacture of caricatures was actually +communicated even to the grandmotherly head and fount of the family +honor, is a most certain and lamentable matter of fact. One morning my +father received a letter from Lady Malkinshaw herself, informing him, +in a handwriting crooked with poignant grief, and blotted at every third +word by the violence of virtuous indignation, that “Thersites Junior” + was his own son, and that, in one of the last of the “ribald’s” + caricatures her own venerable features were unmistakably represented as +belonging to the body of a large owl! + +Of course, I laid my hand on my heart and indignantly denied everything. +Useless. My original model for the owl had got proofs of my guilt that +were not to be resisted. + +The doctor, ordinarily the most mellifluous and self-possessed of +men, flew into a violent, roaring, cursing passion, on this +occasion--declared that I was imperiling the honor and standing of the +family--insisted on my never drawing another caricature, either for +public or private purposes, as long as I lived; and ordered me to go +forthwith and ask pardon of Lady Malkinshaw in the humblest terms that +it was possible to select. I answered dutifully that I was quite ready +to obey, on the condition that he should reimburse me by a trebled +allowance for what I should lose by giving up the Art of Caricature, +or that Lady Malkinshaw should confer on me the appointment of +physician-in-waiting on her, with a handsome salary attached. These +extremely moderate stipulations so increased my father’s anger, that he +asserted, with an unmentionably vulgar oath, his resolution to turn me +out of doors if I did not do as he bid me, without daring to hint at +any conditions whatsoever. I bowed, and said that I would save him the +exertion of turning me out of doors, by going of my own accord. He shook +his fist at me; after which it obviously became my duty, as a member +of a gentlemanly and peaceful profession, to leave the room. The same +evening I left the house, and I have never once given the clumsy and +expensive footman the trouble of answering the door to me since that +time. + +I have reason to believe that my exodus from home was, on the whole, +favorably viewed by my mother, as tending to remove any possibility of +my bad character and conduct interfering with my sister’s advancement in +life. + +By dint of angling with great dexterity and patience, under the +direction of both her parents, my handsome sister Annabella had +succeeded in catching an eligible husband, in the shape of a wizen, +miserly, mahogany-colored man, turned fifty, who had made a fortune in +the West Indies. His name was Batterbury; he had been dried up under +a tropical sun, so as to look as if he would keep for ages; he had two +subjects of conversation, the yellow-fever and the advantage of walking +exercise: and he was barbarian enough to take a violent dislike to me. +He had proved a very delicate fish to hook; and, even when Annabella +had caught him, my father and mother had great difficulty in landing +him--principally, they were good enough to say, in consequence of my +presence on the scene. Hence the decided advantage of my removal from +home. It is a very pleasant reflection to me, now, to remember how +disinterestedly I studied the good of my family in those early days. + +Abandoned entirely to my own resources, I naturally returned to the +business of caricaturing with renewed ardor. + +About this time Thersites Junior really began to make something like a +reputation, and to walk abroad habitually with a bank-note comfortably +lodged among the other papers in his pocketbook. For a year I lived a +gay and glorious life in some of the freest society in London; at the +end of that time, my tradesmen, without any provocation on my part, sent +in their bills. I found myself in the very absurd position of having no +money to pay them, and told them all so with the frankness which is one +of the best sides of my character. They received my advances toward +a better understanding with brutal incivility, and treated me soon +afterward with a want of confidence which I may forgive, but can never +forget. One day, a dirty stranger touched me on the shoulder, and showed +me a dirty slip of paper which I at first presumed to be his card. +Before I could tell him what a vulgar document it looked like, two more +dirty strangers put me into a hackney coach. Before I could prove to +them that this proceeding was a gross infringement on the liberties of +the British subject, I found myself lodged within the walls of a prison. + +Well! and what of that? Who am I that I should object to being in +prison, when so many of the royal personages and illustrious characters +of history have been there before me? Can I not carry on my vocation +in greater comfort here than I could in my father’s house? Have I any +anxieties outside these walls? No: for my beloved sister is married--the +family net has landed Mr. Batterbury at last. No: for I read in the +paper the other day, that Doctor Softly (doubtless through +the interest of Lady Malkinshaw) has been appointed the +King’s-Barber-Surgeon’s-Deputy-Consulting Physician. My relatives are +comfortable in their sphere--let me proceed forthwith to make myself +comfortable in mine. Pen, ink, and paper, if you please, Mr. Jailer: I +wish to write to my esteemed publisher. + + + +“DEAR SIR--Please advertise a series of twelve Racy Prints, from my +fertile pencil, entitled, ‘Scenes of Modern Prison Life,’ by Thersites +Junior. The two first designs will be ready by the end of the week, to +be paid for on delivery, according to the terms settled between us for +my previous publications of the same size. + +“With great regard and esteem, faithfully yours, + +“FRANK SOFTLY.” + + + +Having thus provided for my support in prison, I was enabled to +introduce myself to my fellow-debtors, and to study character for the +new series of prints, on the very first day of my incarceration, with my +mind quite at ease. + +If the reader desires to make acquaintance with the associates of +my captivity, I must refer him to “Scenes of Modern Prison Life,” by +Thersites Junior, now doubtless extremely scarce, but producible to the +demands of patience and perseverance, I should imagine, if anybody will +be so obliging as to pass a week or so over the catalogue of the British +Museum. My fertile pencil has delineated the characters I met with, +at that period of my life, with a force and distinctness which my pen +cannot hope to rival--has portrayed them all more or less prominently, +with the one solitary exception of a prisoner called Gentleman Jones. +The reasons why I excluded him from my portrait-gallery are so honorable +to both of us, that I must ask permission briefly to record them. + +My fellow-captives soon discovered that I was studying their personal +peculiarities for my own advantage and for the public amusement. Some +thought the thing a good joke; some objected to it, and quarreled with +me. Liberality in the matter of liquor and small loans, reconciled a +large proportion of the objectors to their fate; the sulky minority I +treated with contempt, and scourged avengingly with the smart lash of +caricature. I was at that time probably the most impudent man of my age +in all England, and the common flock of jail-birds quailed before the +magnificence of my assurance. One prisoner only set me and my pencil +successfully at defiance. That prisoner was Gentleman Jones. + +He had received his name from the suavity of his countenance, the +inveterate politeness of his language, and the unassailable composure of +his manner. He was in the prime of life, but very bald--had been in the +army and the coal trade--wore very stiff collars and prodigiously long +wristbands--seldom laughed, but talked with remarkable glibness, and was +never known to lose his temper under the most aggravating circumstances +of prison existence. + +He abstained from interfering with me and my studies, until it was +reported in our society, that in the sixth print of my series, Gentleman +Jones, highly caricatured, was to form one of the principal figures. He +then appealed to me personally and publicly, on the racket-ground, in +the following terms: + +“Sir,” said he, with his usual politeness and his unwavering smile, “you +will greatly oblige me by not caricaturing my personal peculiarities. I +am so unfortunate as not to possess a sense of humor; and if you did my +likeness, I am afraid I should not see the joke of it.” + +“Sir,” I returned, with my customary impudence, “it is not of the +slightest importance whether _you_ see the joke of it or not. The public +will--and that is enough for me.” + +With that civil speech, I turned on my heel; and the prisoners near +all burst out laughing. Gentleman Jones, not in the least altered or +ruffled, smoothed down his wristbands, smiled, and walked away. + +The same evening I was in my room alone, designing the new print, when +there came a knock at the door, and Gentleman Jones walked in. I got up, +and asked what the devil he wanted. He smiled, and turned up his long +wristbands. + +“Only to give you a lesson in politeness,” said Gentleman Jones. + +“What do you mean, sir? How dare you--?” + +The answer was a smart slap on the face. I instantly struck out in a +state of fury--was stopped with great neatness--and received in return a +blow on the head, which sent me down on the carpet half stunned, and too +giddy to know the difference between the floor and the ceiling. + +“Sir,” said Gentleman Jones, smoothing down his wristbands again, and +addressing me blandly as I lay on the floor, “I have the honor to inform +you that you have now received your first lesson in politeness. Always +be civil to those who are civil to you. The little matter of +the caricature we will settle on a future occasion. I wish you +good-evening.” + +The noise of my fall had been heard by the other occupants of rooms on +my landing. Most fortunately for my dignity, they did not come in to see +what was the matter until I had been able to get into my chair again. +When they entered, I felt that the impression of the slap was red on my +face still, but the mark of the blow was hidden by my hair. Under these +fortunate circumstances, I was able to keep up my character among my +friends, when they inquired about the scuffle, by informing them that +Gentleman Jones had audaciously slapped my face, and that I had been +obliged to retaliate by knocking him down. My word in the prison was as +good as his; and if my version of the story got fairly the start of his, +I had the better chance of the two of being believed. + +I was rather anxious, the next day, to know what course my polite and +pugilistic instructor would take. To my utter amazement, he bowed to me +as civilly as usual when we met in the yard; he never denied my version +of the story; and when my friends laughed at him as a thrashed man, he +took not the slightest notice of their agreeable merriment. Antiquity, +I think, furnishes us with few more remarkable characters than Gentleman +Jones. + +That evening I thought it desirable to invite a friend to pass the time +with me. As long as my liquor lasted he stopped; when it was gone, he +went away. I was just locking the door after him, when it was pushed +open gently, but very firmly, and Gentleman Jones walked in. + +My pride, which had not allowed me to apply for protection to the prison +authorities, would not allow me now to call for help. I tried to get to +the fireplace and arm myself with the poker, but Gentleman Jones was +too quick for me. “I have come, sir, to give you a lesson in morality +to-night,” he said; and up went his right hand. + +I stopped the preliminary slap, but before I could hit him, his terrible +left fist reached my head again; and down I fell once more--upon the +hearth-rug this time--not over-heavily. + +“Sir,” said Gentleman Jones, making me a bow, “you have now received +your first lesson in morality. Always speak the truth; and never say +what is false of another man behind his back. To-morrow, with your +kind permission, we will finally settle the adjourned question of the +caricature. Good-night.” + +I was far too sensible a man to leave the settling of that question to +him. The first thing in the morning I sent a polite note to Gentleman +Jones, informing him that I had abandoned all idea of exhibiting his +likeness to the public in my series of prints, and giving him full +permission to inspect every design I made before it went out of the +prison. I received a most civil answer, thanking me for my courtesy, and +complimenting me on the extraordinary aptitude with which I profited by +the most incomplete and elementary instruction. I thought I deserved +the compliment, and I think so still. Our conduct, as I have already +intimated, was honorable to us, on either side. It was honorable +attention on the part of Gentleman Jones to correct me when I was in +error; it was honorable common sense in me to profit by the correction. +I have never seen this great man since he compounded with his creditors +and got out of prison; but my feelings toward him are still those of +profound gratitude and respect. He gave me the only useful teaching I +ever had; and if this should meet the eye of Gentleman Jones I hereby +thank him for beginning and ending my education in two evenings, without +costing me or my family a single farthing. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +To return to my business affairs. When I was comfortably settled in the +prison, and knew exactly what I owed, I thought it my duty to my father +to give him the first chance of getting me out. His answer to my letter +contained a quotation from Shakespeare on the subject of thankless +children, but no remittance of money. After that, my only course was +to employ a lawyer and be declared a bankrupt. I was most uncivilly +treated, and remanded two or three times. When everything I possessed +had been sold for the benefit of my creditors, I was reprimanded and let +out. It is pleasant to think that, even then, my faith in myself and in +human nature was still not shaken. + +About ten days before my liberation, I was thunderstruck at receiving a +visit from my sister’s mahogany-colored husband, Mr. Batterbury. When +I was respectably settled at home, this gentleman would not so much as +look at me without a frown; and now, when I was a scamp, in prison, he +mercifully and fraternally came to condole with me on my misfortunes. +A little dexterous questioning disclosed the secret of this prodigious +change in our relations toward each other, and informed me of a family +event which altered my position toward my sister in the most whimsical +manner. + +While I was being removed to the bankruptcy court, my uncle in the soap +and candle trade was being removed to the other world. His will took +no notice of my father or my mother; but he left to my sister (always +supposed to be his favorite in the family) a most extraordinary legacy +of possible pin-money, in the shape of a contingent reversion to the +sum of three thousand pounds, payable on the death of Lady Malkinshaw, +provided I survived her. + +Whether this document sprang into existence out of any of his involved +money transactions with his mother was more than Mr. Batterbury could +tell. I could ascertain nothing in relation to it, except that the +bequest was accompanied by some cynical remarks, to the effect that the +testator would feel happy if his legacy were instrumental in reviving +the dormant interest of only one member of Doctor Softly’s family in the +fortunes of the hopeful young gentleman who had run away from home. My +esteemed uncle evidently felt that he could not in common decency avoid +doing something for his sister’s family; and he had done it accordingly +in the most malicious and mischievous manner. This was characteristic of +him; he was just the man, if he had not possessed the document before, +to have had it drawn out on his death-bed for the amiable purpose which +it was now devoted to serve. + +Here was a pretty complication! Here was my sister’s handsome legacy +made dependent on my outliving my grandmother! This was diverting +enough; but Mr. Batterbury’s conduct was more amusing still. + +The miserly little wretch not only tried to conceal his greedy desire to +save his own pockets by securing the allowance of pin-money left to his +wife, but absolutely persisted in ignoring the plain fact that his visit +to me sprang from the serious pecuniary interest which he and Annabella +now had in the life and health of your humble servant. I made all +the necessary jokes about the strength of the vital principle in Lady +Malkinshaw, and the broken condition of my own constitution; but he +solemnly abstained from understanding one of them. He resolutely kept up +appearances in the very face of detection; not the faintest shade of red +came over his wicked old mahogany face as he told me how shocked he and +his wife were at my present position, and how anxious Annabella was that +he should not forget to give me her love. Tenderhearted creature! I +had only been in prison six months when that overwhelming testimony +of sisterly affection came to console me in my captivity. Ministering +angel! you shall get your three thousand pounds. I am fifty years +younger than Lady Malkinshaw, and I will take care of myself, Annabella, +for thy dear sake! + +The next time I saw Mr. Batterbury was on the day when I at last got +my discharge. He was not waiting to see where I was going next, or what +vital risks I was likely to run on the recovery of my freedom, but +to congratulate me, and to give me Annabella’s love. It was a very +gratifying attention, and I said as much, in tones of the deepest +feeling. + +“How is dear Lady Malkinshaw?” I asked, when my grateful emotions had +subsided. + +Mr. Batterbury shook his head mournfully. “I regret to say, not quite so +well as her friends could wish,” he answered. “The last time I had the +pleasure of seeing her ladyship, she looked so yellow that if we had +been in Jamaica I should have said it was a case of death in twelve +hours. I respectfully endeavored to impress upon her ladyship the +necessity of keeping the functions of the liver active by daily walking +exercise; time, distance, and pace being regulated with proper regard to +her age--you understand me?--of course, with proper regard to her age.” + +“You could not possibly have given her better advice,” I said. “When I +saw her, as long as two years ago, Lady Malkinshaw’s favorite delusion +was that she was the most active woman of seventy-five in all England. +She used to tumble downstairs two or three times a week, then, because +she never would allow any one to help her; and could not be brought to +believe that she was as blind as a mole, and as rickety on her legs as a +child of a year old. Now you have encouraged her to take to walking, she +will be more obstinate than ever, and is sure to tumble down daily, out +of doors as well as in. Not even the celebrated Malkinshaw toughness can +last out more than a few weeks of that practice. Considering the present +shattered condition of my constitution, you couldn’t have given her +better advice--upon my word of honor, you couldn’t have given her better +advice!” + +“I am afraid,” said Mr. Batterbury, with a power of face I envied; “I +am afraid, my dear Frank (let me call you Frank), that I don’t quite +apprehend your meaning: and we have unfortunately no time to enter into +explanations. Five miles here by a roundabout way is only half my daily +allowance of walking exercise; five miles back by a roundabout way +remain to be now accomplished. So glad to see you at liberty again! +Mind you let us know where you settle, and take care of yourself; and +do recognize the importance to the whole animal economy of daily walking +exercise--do now! Did I give you Annabella’s love? She’s so well. +Good-by.” + +Away went Mr. Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his health, +and away went I to visit my publisher for the sake of my pocket. + +An unexpected disappointment awaited me. My “Scenes of Modern Prison +Life” had not sold so well as had been anticipated, and my publisher was +gruffly disinclined to speculate in any future works done in the same +style. During the time of my imprisonment, a new caricaturist had +started, with a manner of his own; he had already formed a new school, +and the fickle public were all running together after him and his +disciples. I said to myself: “This scene in the drama of your life, my +friend, has closed in; you must enter on another, or drop the curtain at +once.” Of course I entered on another. + +Taking leave of my publisher, I went to consult an artist-friend on my +future prospects. I supposed myself to be merely on my way to a change +of profession. As destiny ordered it, I was also on my way to the woman +who was not only to be the object of my first love, but the innocent +cause of the great disaster of my life. + +I first saw her in one of the narrow streets leading from Leicester +Square to the Strand. There was something in her face (dimly visible +behind a thick veil) that instantly stopped me as I passed her. I looked +back and hesitated. Her figure was the perfection of modest grace. I +yielded to the impulse of the moment. In plain words, I did what you +would have done, in my place--I followed her. + +She looked round--discovered me--and instantly quickened her pace. +Reaching the westward end of the Strand, she crossed the street and +suddenly entered a shop. + +I looked through the window, and saw her speak to a respectable elderly +person behind the counter, who darted an indignant look at me, and at +once led my charming stranger into a back office. For the moment, I +was fool enough to feel puzzled; it was out of my character you will +say--but remember, all men are fools when they first fall in love. After +a little while I recovered the use of my senses. The shop was at the +corner of a side street, leading to the market, since removed to make +room for the railway. “There’s a back entrance to the house!” I thought +to myself--and ran down the side street. Too late! the lovely fugitive +had escaped me. Had I lost her forever in the great world of London? I +thought so at the time. Events will show that I never was more mistaken +in my life. + +I was in no humor to call on my friend. It was not until another day had +passed that I sufficiently recovered my composure to see poverty staring +me in the face, and to understand that I had really no alternative but +to ask the good-natured artist to lend me a helping hand. + +I had heard it darkly whispered that he was something of a vagabond. But +the term is so loosely applied, and it seems so difficult, after all, to +define what a vagabond is, or to strike the right moral balance between +the vagabond work which is boldly published, and the vagabond work which +is reserved for private circulation only, that I did not feel justified +in holding aloof from my former friend. Accordingly, I renewed our +acquaintance, and told him my present difficulty. He was a sharp man, +and he showed me a way out of it directly. + +“You have a good eye for a likeness,” he said; “and you have made +it keep you hitherto. Very well. Make it keep you still. You can’t +profitably caricature people’s faces any longer--never mind! go to the +other extreme, and flatter them now. Turn portrait-painter. You shall +have the use of this study three days in the week, for ten shillings a +week--sleeping on the hearth-rug included, if you like. Get your +paints, rouse up your friends, set to work at once. Drawing is of +no consequence; painting is of no consequence; perspective is of +no consequence; ideas are of no consequence. Everything is of no +consequence, except catching a likeness and flattering your sitter--and +that you know you can do.” + +I felt that I could; and left him for the nearest colorman’s. + +Before I got to the shop, I met Mr. Batterbury taking his walking +exercise. He stopped, shook hands with me affectionately, and asked +where I was going. A wonderful idea struck me. Instead of answering his +question, I asked after Lady Malkinshaw. + +“Don’t be alarmed,” said Mr. Batterbury; “her ladyship tumbled +downstairs yesterday morning.” + +“My dear sir, allow me to congratulate you!” + +“Most fortunately,” continued Mr. Batterbury, with a strong emphasis on +the words, and a fixed stare at me; “most fortunately, the servant had +been careless enough to leave a large bundle of clothes for the wash +at the foot of the stairs, while she went to answer the door. Falling +headlong from the landing, her ladyship pitched (pardon me the +expression)--pitched into the very middle of the bundle. She was a +little shaken at the time, but is reported to be going on charmingly +this morning. Most fortunate, was it not? Seen the papers? Awful news +from Demerara--the yellow fever--” + +“I wish I was at Demerara,” I said, in a hollow voice. + +“You! Why?” exclaimed Mr. Batterbury, aghast. + +“I am homeless, friendless, penniless,” I went on, getting more hollow +at every word. “All my intellectual instincts tell me that I could +retrieve my position and live respectably in the world, if I might only +try my hand at portrait-painting--the thing of all others that I am +naturally fittest for. But I have nobody to start me; no sitter to give +me a first chance; nothing in my pocket but three-and-sixpence; and +nothing in my mind but a doubt whether I shall struggle on a little +longer, or end it immediately in the Thames. Don’t let me detain you +from your walk, my dear sir. I’m afraid Lady Malkinshaw will outlive me, +after all!” + +“Stop!” cried Mr. Batterbury; his mahogany face actually getting +white with alarm. “Stop! Don’t talk in that dreadfully unprincipled +manner--don’t, I implore, I insist! You have plenty of friends--you have +me, and your sister. Take to portrait-painting--think of your family, +and take to portrait-painting!” + +“Where am I to get a sitter?’ I inquired, with a gloomy shake of the +head. + +“Me,” said Mr. Batterbury, with an effort. “I’ll be your first sitter. +As a beginner, and especially to a member of the family, I suppose your +terms will be moderate. Small beginnings--you know the proverb?” Here he +stopped; and a miserly leer puckered up his mahogany cheeks. + +“I’ll do you, life-size, down to your waistcoat, for fifty pounds,” said +I. + +Mr. Batterbury winced, and looked about him to the right and left, as if +he wanted to run away. He had five thousand a year, but he contrived to +took, at that moment, as if his utmost income was five hundred. I walked +on a few steps. + +“Surely those terms are rather high to begin with?” he said, walking +after me. “I should have thought five-and-thirty, or perhaps forty--” + +“A gentleman, sir, cannot condescend to bargain,” said I, with mournful +dignity. “Farewell!” I waved my hand, and crossed over the way. + +“Don’t do that!” cried Mr. Batterbury. “I accept. Give me your address. +I’ll come tomorrow. Will it include the frame! There! there! it doesn’t +include the frame, of course. Where are you going now? To the colorman? +He doesn’t live in the Strand, I hope--or near one of the bridges. Think +of Annabella, think of the family, think of the fifty pounds--an income, +a year’s income to a prudent man. Pray, pray be careful, and compose +your mind: promise me, my dear, dear fellow--promise me, on your word of +honor, to compose your mind!” + +I left him still harping on that string, and suffering, I believe, the +only serious attack of mental distress that had ever affected him in the +whole course of his life. + + + +Behold me, then, now starting afresh in the world, in the character of +a portrait-painter; with the payment of my remuneration from my first +sitter depending whimsically on the life of my grandmother. If you care +to know how Lady Malkinshaw’s health got on, and how I succeeded in +my new profession, you have only to follow the further course of these +confessions, in the next chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +I GAVE my orders to the colorman, and settled matters with my friend the +artist that day. + +The next morning, before the hour at which I expected my sitter, +having just now as much interest in the life of Lady Malkinshaw as Mr. +Batterbury had in her death, I went to make kind inquiries after her +ladyship’s health. The answer was most reassuring. Lady Malkinshaw had +no present intention of permitting me to survive her. She was, at that +very moment, meritoriously and heartily engaged in eating her breakfast. +My prospects being now of the best possible kind, I felt encouraged to +write once more to my father, telling him of my fresh start in life, and +proposing a renewal of our acquaintance. I regret to say that he was so +rude as not to answer my letter. + +Mr. Batterbury was punctual to the moment. He gave a gasp of relief when +he beheld me, full of life, with my palette on my thumb, gazing fondly +on my new canvas. + +“That’s right!” he said. “I like to see you with your mind composed. +Annabella would have come with me; but she has a little headache this +morning. She sends her love and best wishes.” + +I seized my chalks and began with that confidence in myself which has +never forsaken me in any emergency. Being perfectly well aware of +the absolute dependence of the art of portrait-painting on the art +of flattery, I determined to start with making the mere outline of my +likeness a compliment to my sitter. + +It was much easier to resolve on doing this than really to do it. In +the first place, my hand would relapse into its wicked old caricaturing +habits. In the second place, my brother-in-law’s face was so +inveterately and completely ugly as to set every artifice of pictorial +improvement at flat defiance. When a man has a nose an inch long, with +the nostrils set perpendicularly, it is impossible to flatter it--you +must either change it into a fancy nose, or resignedly acquiesce in +it. When a man has no perceptible eyelids, and when his eyes globularly +project so far out of his head, that you expect to have to pick them up +for him whenever you see him lean forward, how are mortal fingers and +bushes to diffuse the right complimentary expression over them? You must +either do them the most hideous and complete justice, or give them up +altogether. The late Sir Thomas Lawrence, P.R.A., was undoubtedly the +most artful and uncompromising flatterer that ever smoothed out all the +natural characteristic blemishes from a sitter’s face; but even that +accomplished parasite would have found Mr. Batterbury too much for him, +and would have been driven, for the first time in his practice of art, +to the uncustomary and uncourtly resource of absolutely painting a +genuine likeness. + +As for me, I put my trust in Lady Malkinshaw’s power of living, and +portrayed the face of Mr. Batterbury in all its native horror. At +the same time, I sensibly guarded against even the most improbable +accidents, by making him pay me the fifty pounds as we went on, by +installments. We had ten sittings. Each one of them began with a message +from Mr. Batterbury, giving me Annabella’s love and apologies for not +being able to come and see me. Each one of them ended with an argument +between Mr. Batterbury and me relative to the transfer of five pounds +from his pocket to mine. I came off victorious on every occasion--being +backed by the noble behavior of Lady Malkinshaw, who abstained from +tumbling down, and who ate and drank, and slept and grew lusty, for +three weeks together. Venerable woman! She put fifty pounds into my +pocket. I shall think of her with gratitude and respect to the end of +my days. + +One morning, while I was sitting before my completed portrait, inwardly +shuddering over the ugliness of it, a suffocating smell of musk was +wafted into the studio; it was followed by a sound of rustling +garments; and that again was succeeded by the personal appearance of my +affectionate sister, with her husband at her heels. Annabella had got to +the end of her stock of apologies, and had come to see me. + +She put her handkerchief to her nose the moment she entered the room. + +“How do you do, Frank? Don’t kiss me: you smell of paint, and I can’t +bear it.” + +I felt a similar antipathy to the smell of musk, and had not the +slightest intention of kissing her; but I was too gallant a man to +say so; and I only begged her to favor me by looking at her husband’s +portrait. + +Annabella glanced all round the room, with her handkerchief still at +her nose, and gathered her magnificent silk dress close about her superb +figure with her disengaged hand. + +“What a horrid place!” she said faintly behind her handkerchief. “Can’t +you take some of the paint away? I’m sure there’s oil on the floor. How +am I to get past that nasty table with the palette on it? Why can’t you +bring the picture down to the carriage, Frank?” + +Advancing a few steps, and looking suspiciously about her while she +spoke, her eyes fell on the chimney-piece. An eau-de-Cologne bottle +stood upon it, which she took up immediately with a languishing sigh. + +It contained turpentine for washing brushes in. Before I could warn her, +she had sprinkled herself absently with half the contents of the bottle. +In spite of all the musk that now filled the room, the turpentine +betrayed itself almost as soon as I cried “Stop!” Annabella, with +a shriek of disgust, flung the bottle furiously into the fireplace. +Fortunately it was summer-time, or I might have had to echo the shriek +with a cry of “Fire!” + +“You wretch! you brute! you low, mischievous, swindling blackguard!” + cried my amiable sister, shaking her skirts with all her might, “you +have done this on purpose! Don’t tell me! I know you have. What do +you mean by pestering me to come to this dog-kennel of a place?” she +continued, turning fiercely upon the partner of her existence and +legitimate receptacle of all her superfluous wrath. “What do you mean by +bringing me here, to see how you have been swindled? Yes, sir, swindled! +He has no more idea of painting than you have. He has cheated you out +of your money. If he was starving tomorrow he would be the last man in +England to make away with himself--he is too great a wretch--he is too +vicious--he is too lost to all sense of respectability--he is too much +of a discredit to his family. Take me away! Give me your arm directly! +I told you not to go near him from the first. This is what comes of your +horrid fondness for money. Suppose Lady Malkinshaw does outlive him; +suppose I do lose my legacy. What is three thousand pounds to you? My +dress is ruined. My shawl’s spoiled. _He_ die! If the old woman lives +to the age of Methuselah, he won’t die. Give me your arm. No! Go to my +father. I want medical advice. My nerves are torn to pieces. I’m giddy, +faint, sick--SICK, Mr. Batterbury!” + +Here she became hysterical, and vanished, leaving a mixed odor of musk +and turpentine behind her, which preserved the memory of her visit for +nearly a week afterward. + +“Another scene in the drama of my life seems likely to close in before +long,” thought I. “No chance now of getting my amiable sister to +patronize struggling genius. Do I know of anybody else who will sit to +me? No, not a soul. Having thus no portraits of other people to paint, +what is it my duty, as a neglected artist, to do next? Clearly to take a +portrait of myself.” + +I did so, making my own likeness quite a pleasant relief to the ugliness +of my brother-in-law’s. It was my intention to send both portraits +to the Royal Academy Exhibition, to get custom, and show the public +generally what I could do. I knew the institution with which I had to +deal, and called my own likeness, Portrait of a Nobleman. + +That dexterous appeal to the tenderest feelings of my distinguished +countrymen very nearly succeeded. The portrait of Mr. Batterbury (much +the more carefully-painted picture of the two) was summarily turned out. +The Portrait of a Nobleman was politely reserved to be hung up, if the +Royal Academicians could possibly find room for it. They could not. +So that picture also vanished back into the obscurity of the artist’s +easel. Weak and well-meaning people would have desponded under these +circumstances; but your genuine Rogue is a man of elastic temperament, +not easily compressible under any pressure of disaster. I sent the +portrait of Mr. Batterbury to the house of that distinguished patron, +and the Portrait of a Nobleman to the Pawnbroker’s. After this I had +plenty of elbow-room in the studio, and could walk up and down briskly, +smoking my pipe, and thinking about what I should do next. + +I had observed that the generous friend and vagabond brother artist, +whose lodger I now was, never seemed to be in absolute want of money; +and yet the walls of his studio informed me that nobody bought his +pictures. There hung all his great works, rejected by the Royal Academy, +and neglected by the patrons of Art; and there, nevertheless, was he, +blithely plying the brush; not rich, it is true, but certainly never +without money enough in his pocket for the supply of all his modest +wants. Where did he find his resources? I determined to ask him the +question the very next time he came to the studio. + +“Dick,” I said (we called each other by our Christian names), “where do +you get your money?” + +“Frank,” he answered, “what makes you ask that question?” + +“Necessity,” I proceeded. “My stock of money is decreasing, and I +don’t know how to replenish it. My pictures have been turned out of the +exhibition-rooms; nobody comes to sit to me; I can’t make a farthing; +and I must try another line in the Arts, or leave your studio. We are +old friends now. I’ve paid you honestly week by week; and if you can +oblige me, I think you ought. You earn money somehow. Why can’t I?” + +“Are you at all particular?” asked Dick. + +“Not in the least,” I answered. + +Dick nodded, and looked pleased; handed me my hat, and put on his own. + +“You are just the sort of man I like,” he remarked, “and I would sooner +trust you than any one else I know. You ask how I contrive to earn +money, seeing that all my pictures are still in my own possession. My +dear fellow, whenever my pockets are empty, and I want a ten-pound note +to put into them, I make an Old Master.” + +I stared hard at him, not at first quite understanding what he meant. + +“The Old Master I can make best,” continued Dick, “is Claude Lorraine, +whom you may have heard of occasionally as a famous painter of classical +landscapes. I don’t exactly know (he has been dead so long) how many +pictures he turned out, from first to last; but we will say, for the +sake of argument, five hundred. Not five of these are offered for sale, +perhaps, in the course of five years. Enlightened collectors of old +pictures pour into the market by fifties, while genuine specimens of +Claude, or of any other Old Master you like to mention, only dribble +in by ones and twos. Under these circumstances, what is to be done? Are +unoffending owners of galleries to be subjected to disappointment? +Or are the works of Claude, and the other fellows, to be benevolently +increased in number, to supply the wants of persons of taste and +quality? No man of humanity but must lean to the latter alternative. The +collectors, observe, don’t know anything about it--they buy Claude (to +take an instance from my own practice) as they buy all the other Old +Masters, because of his reputation, not because of the pleasure they get +from his works. Give them a picture with a good large ruin, fancy trees, +prancing nymphs, and a watery sky; dirty it down dexterously to the +right pitch; put it in an old frame; call it a Claude; and the sphere +of the Old Master is enlarged, the collector is delighted, the +picture-dealer is enriched, and the neglected modern artist claps a +joyful hand on a well-filled pocket. Some men have a knack at making +Rembrandts, others have a turn for Raphaels, Titians, Cuyps, Watteaus, +and the rest of them. Anyhow, we are all made happy--all pleased with +each other--all benefited alike. Kindness is propagated and money is +dispersed. Come along, my boy, and make an Old Master!” + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +HE led the way into the street as he spoke. I felt the irresistible +force of his logic. I sympathized with the ardent philanthropy of his +motives. I burned with a noble ambition to extend the sphere of the Old +Masters. In short, I took the tide at the flood, and followed Dick. + +We plunged into some by-streets, struck off sharp into a court, and +entered a house by a back door. A little old gentleman in a black velvet +dressing-gown met us in the passage. Dick instantly presented me: “Mr. +Frank Softly--Mr. Ishmael Pickup.” The little old gentleman stared at +me distrustfully. I bowed to him with that inexorable politeness which +I first learned under the instructive fist of Gentleman Jones, and which +no force of adverse circumstances has ever availed to mitigate in after +life. Mr. Ishmael Pickup followed my lead. There is not the least need +to describe him--he was a Jew. + +“Go into the front show-room, and look at the pictures, while I speak to +Mr. Pickup,” said Dick, familiarly throwing open a door, and pushing me +into a kind of gallery beyond. I found myself quite alone, surrounded by +modern-antique pictures of all schools and sizes, of all degrees of dirt +and dullness, with all the names of all the famous Old Masters, from +Titian to Teniers, inscribed on their frames. A “pearly little gem,” by +Claude, with a ticket marked “Sold” stuck into the frame, particularly +attracted my attention. It was Dick’s last ten-pound job; and it did +credit to the youthful master’s abilities as a workman-like maker of +Claudes. + +I have been informed that, since the time of which I am writing, the +business of gentlemen of Mr. Pickup’s class has rather fallen off, +and that there are dealers in pictures, nowadays, who are as just and +honorable men as can be found in any profession or calling, anywhere +under the sun. This change, which I report with sincerity and reflect on +with amazement, is, as I suspect, mainly the result of certain wholesale +modern improvements in the position of contemporary Art, which +have necessitated improvements and alterations in the business of +picture-dealing. + +In my time, the encouragers of modern painting were limited in number +to a few noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, who, in matters of +taste, at least, never presumed to think for themselves. They either +inherited or bought a gallery more or less full of old pictures. It was +as much a part of their education to put their faith in these on hearsay +evidence, as to put their faith in King, Lords and Commons. It was an +article of their creed to believe that the dead painters were the great +men, and that the more the living painters imitated the dead, the better +was their chance of becoming at some future day, and in a minor degree, +great also. At certain times and seasons, these noblemen and gentlemen +self-distrustfully strayed into the painting-room of a modern artist, +self-distrustfully allowed themselves to be rather attracted by his +pictures, self-distrustfully bought one or two of them at prices which +would appear so incredibly low, in these days, that I really cannot +venture to quote them. The picture was sent home; the nobleman or +gentleman (almost always an amiable and a hospitable man) would ask the +artist to his house and introduce him to the distinguished individuals +who frequented it; but would never admit his picture, on terms of +equality, into the society even of the second-rate Old Masters. His work +was hung up in any out-of-the-way corner of the gallery that could be +found; it had been bought under protest; it was admitted by sufferance; +its freshness and brightness damaged it terribly by contrast with the +dirtiness and the dinginess of its elderly predecessors; and its only +points selected for praise were those in which it most nearly resembled +the peculiar mannerism of some Old Master, not those in which it +resembled the characteristics of the old mistress--Nature. + +The unfortunate artist had no court of appeal that he could turn to. +Nobody beneath the nobleman, or the gentleman of ancient lineage, so +much as thought of buying a modern picture. Nobody dared to whisper that +the Art of painting had in anywise been improved or worthily enlarged in +its sphere by any modern professors. For one nobleman who was ready +to buy one genuine modern picture at a small price, there were twenty +noblemen ready to buy twenty more than doubtful old pictures at great +prices. The consequence was, that some of the most famous artists of +the English school, whose pictures are now bought at auction sales for +fabulous sums, were then hardly able to make an income. They were a +scrupulously patient and conscientious body of men, who would as soon +have thought of breaking into a house, or equalizing the distribution of +wealth, on the highway, by the simple machinery of a horse and pistol, +as of making Old Masters to order. They sat resignedly in their lonely +studios, surrounded by unsold pictures which have since been covered +again and again with gold and bank-notes by eager buyers at auctions +and show-rooms, whose money has gone into other than the painter’s +pockets---who have never dreamed that the painter had the smallest moral +right to a farthing of it. Year after year, these martyrs of the brush +stood, palette in hand, fighting the old battle of individual +merit against contemporary dullness--fighting bravely, patiently, +independently; and leaving to Mr. Pickup and his pupils a complete +monopoly of all the profit which could be extracted, in their line +of business, from the feebly-buttoned pocket of the patron, and the +inexhaustible credulity of the connoisseur. + +Now all this is changed. Traders and makers of all kinds of commodities +have effected a revolution in the picture-world, never dreamed of by the +noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, and consistently protested +against to this day by the very few of them who still remain alive. + +The daring innovators started with the new notion of buying a picture +which they themselves could admire and appreciate, and for the +genuineness of which the artist was still living to vouch. These +rough and ready customers were not to be led by rules or frightened by +precedents; they were not to be easily imposed upon, for the article +they wanted was not to be easily counterfeited. Sturdily holding to +their own opinions, they thought incessant repetitions of Saints, +Martyrs, and Holy Families, monotonous and uninteresting--and said so. +They thought little pictures of ugly Dutch women scouring pots, and +drunken Dutchmen playing cards, dirty and dear at the price--and said +so. They saw that trees were green in nature, and brown in the Old +Masters, and they thought the latter color not an improvement on +the former--and said so. They wanted interesting subjects; variety, +resemblance to nature; genuineness of the article, and fresh paint; +they had no ancestors whose feelings, as founders of galleries, it was +necessary to consult; no critical gentlemen and writers of valuable +works to snub them when they were in spirits; nothing to lead them by +the nose but their own shrewdness, their own interests, and their own +tastes--so they turned their backs valiantly on the Old Masters, and +marched off in a body to the living men. + +From that time good modern pictures have risen in the scale. Even as +articles of commerce and safe investments for money, they have now (as +some disinterested collectors who dine at certain annual dinners I know +of, can testify) distanced the old pictures in the race. The modern +painters who have survived the brunt of the battle, have lived to see +pictures for which they once asked hundreds, selling for thousands, and +the young generation making incomes by the brush in one year, which +it would have cost the old heroes of the easel ten to accumulate. The +posterity of Mr. Pickup still do a tolerable stroke of business (making +bright modern masters for the market which is glutted with the dingy old +material), and will, probably, continue to thrive and multiply in the +future: the one venerable institution of this world which we can safely +count upon as likely to last, being the institution of human folly. +Nevertheless, if a wise man of the reformed taste wants a modern +picture, there are places for him to go to now where he may be sure of +getting it genuine; where, if the artist is not alive to vouch for his +work, the facts at any rate have not had time to die which vouch for +the dealer who sells it. In my time matters were rather different. The +painters _we_ throve by had died long enough ago for pedigrees to get +confused, and identities disputable; and if I had been desirous of +really purchasing a genuine Old Master for myself--speaking as a +practical man--I don’t know where I should have gone to ask for one, +or whose judgment I could have safely relied on to guard me from being +cheated, before I bought it. + + + +We are stopping a long time in the picture-gallery, you will say. I am +very sorry--but we must stay a little longer, for the sake of a living +picture, the gem of the collection. + +I was still admiring Mr. Pickup’s Old Masters, when a dirty little boy +opened the door of the gallery, and introduced a young lady. + +My heart--fancy my having a heart!--gave one great bound in me. I +recognized the charming person whom I had followed in the street. + +Her veil was not down this time. All the beauty of her large, soft, +melancholy, brown eyes beamed on me. Her delicate complexion became +suddenly suffused with a lovely rosy flush. Her glorious black hair--no! +I will make an effort, I will suppress my ecstasies. Let me only say +that she evidently recognized me. Will you believe it?--I felt myself +coloring as I bowed to her. I never blushed before in my life. What a +very curious sensation it is! + +The horrid boy claimed her attention with a grin. + +“Master’s engaged,” he said. “Please to wait here.” + +“I don’t wish to disturb Mr. Pickup,” she answered. + +What a voice! No! I am drifting back into ecstasies: her voice was +worthy of her--I say no more. + +“If you will be so kind as to show him this,” she proceeded; “he knows +what it is. And please say, my father is very ill and very anxious. It +will be quite enough if Mr. Pickup will only send me word by you--Yes or +No.” + +She gave the boy an oblong slip of stamped paper. Evidently a promissory +note. An angel on earth, sent by an inhuman father, to ask a Jew for +discount! Monstrous! + +The boy disappeared with the message. + +I seized my opportunity of speaking to her. Don’t ask me what I said! +Never before (or since) have I talked such utter nonsense, with such +intense earnestness of purpose and such immeasurable depth of feeling. +Do pray remember what you said yourself, the first time you had the +chance of opening your heart to _your_ young lady. The boy returned +before I had half done, and gave her back the odious document. + +“Mr. Pickup’s very sorry, miss. The answer is, No.” + +She lost all her lovely color, and sighed, and turned away. As she +pulled down her veil, I saw the tears in her eyes. Did that piteous +spectacle partially deprive me of my senses? I actually entreated her to +let me be of some use--as if I had been an old friend, with money enough +in my pocket to discount the note myself. She brought me back to my +senses with the utmost gentleness. + +“I am afraid you forget, sir, that we are strangers. Good-morning.” + +I followed her to the door. I asked leave to call on her father, and +satisfy him about myself and my family connections. She only answered +that her father was too ill to see visitors. I went out with her on to +the landing. She turned on me sharply for the first time. + +“You can see for yourself, sir, that I am in great distress. I appeal to +you, as a gentleman, to spare me.” + +If you still doubt whether I was really in love, let the facts speak for +themselves. I hung my head, and let her go. + +When I returned alone to the picture-gallery--when I remembered that I +had not even had the wit to improve my opportunity by discovering her +name and address--I did really and seriously ask myself if these were +the first symptoms of softening of the brain. I got up, and sat down +again. I, the most audacious man of my age in London, had behaved like a +bashful boy! Once more I had lost her--and this time, also, I had nobody +but myself to blame for it. + +These melancholy meditations were interrupted by the appearance of +my friend, the artist, in the picture-gallery. He approached me +confidentially, and spoke in a mysterious whisper. + +“Pickup is suspicious,” he said; “and I have had all the difficulty in +the world to pave your way smoothly for you at the outset. However, +if you can contrive to make a small Rembrandt, as a specimen, you may +consider yourself employed here until further notice. I am obliged to +particularize Rembrandt, because he is the only Old Master disengaged +at present. The professional gentleman who used to do him died the other +day in the Fleet--he had a turn for Rembrandts, and can’t be easily +replaced. Do you think you could step into his shoes? It’s a peculiar +gift, like an ear for music, or a turn for mathematics. Of course +you will be put up to the simple elementary rules, and will have the +professional gentleman’s last Rembrandt as a guide; the rest depends, +my dear friend, on your powers of imitation. Don’t be discouraged by +failures, but try again and again; and mind you are dirty and dark +enough. You have heard a great deal about the light and shade of +Rembrandt--Remember always that, in your case, light means dusky yellow, +and shade dense black; remember that, and--” + +“No pay,” said the voice of Mr. Pickup behind me; “no pay, my dear, +unlesh your Rembrandt ish good enough to take me in--even me, Ishmael, +who dealsh in pictersh and knowsh what’sh what.” + +What did I care about Rembrandt at that moment? I was thinking of my +lost young lady; and I should probably have taken no notice of Mr. +Pickup, if it had not occurred to me that the old wretch must know her +father’s name and address. I at once put the question. The Jew grinned, +and shook his grisly head. “Her father’sh in difficultiesh, and mum’s +the word, my dear.” To that answer he adhered, in spite of all that I +could say to him. + +With equal obstinacy I determined, sooner or later, to get my +information. + +I took service under Mr. Pickup, purposing to make myself essential to +his prosperity, in a commercial sense--and then to threaten him with +offering my services to a rival manufacturer of Old Masters, unless +he trusted me with the secret of the name and address. My plan looked +promising enough at the time. But, as some wise person has said, Man +is the sport of circumstances. Mr. Pickup and I parted company +unexpectedly, on compulsion. And, of all the people in the world, my +grandmother, Lady Malkinshaw, was the unconscious first cause of the +events which brought me and the beloved object together again, for the +third time! + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +ON the next day, I was introduced to the Jew’s workshop, and to the +eminent gentlemen occupying it. My model Rembrandt was put before me; +the simple elementary rules were explained; and my materials were all +placed under my hands. + +Regard for the lovers of the Old Masters, and for the moral well-being +of society, forbids me to be particular about the nature of my labors, +or to go into dangerous detail on the subject of my first failures +and my subsequent success. I may, however, harmlessly admit that my +Rembrandt was to be of the small or cabinet size, and that, as there was +a run on Burgomasters just then, my subject was naturally to be of +the Burgomaster sort. Three parts of my picture consisted entirely of +different shades of dirty brown and black; the fourth being composed +of a ray of yellow light falling upon the wrinkled face of a +treacle-colored old man. A dim glimpse of a hand, and a faint suggestion +of something like a brass washhand basin, completed the job, which +gave great satisfaction to Mr. Pickup, and which was described in the +catalogue as-- + + + +“A Burgomaster at Breakfast. Originally in the collection of Mynheer +Van Grubb. Amsterdam. A rare example of the master. Not engraved. The +chiar’oscuro in this extraordinary work is of a truly sublime character. +Price, Two Hundred Guineas.” + + + +I got five pounds for it. I suppose Mr. Pickup got one-ninety-five. + +This was perhaps not very encouraging as a beginning, in a pecuniary +point of view. But I was to get five pounds more, if my Rembrandt sold +within a given time. It sold a week after it was in a fit state to be +trusted in the showroom. I got my money, and began enthusiastically on +another Rembrandt--“A Burgomaster’s Wife Poking the Fire.” Last time, +the chiar’oscuro of the master had been yellow and black, this time it +was to be red and black. I was just on the point of forcing my way into +Mr. Pickup’s confidence, as I had resolved, when a catastrophe happened, +which shut up the shop and abruptly terminated my experience as a maker +of Old Masters. + +“The Burgomaster’s Breakfast” had been sold to a new customer, a +venerable connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large +picture-gallery. The old gentleman was in raptures with the +picture--with its tone, with its breadth, with its grand feeling for +effect, with its simple treatment of detail. It wanted nothing, in his +opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. Pickup knew the raw and ticklish +state of the surface, however, far too well, to allow of even an +attempt at performing this process, and solemnly asserted, that he was +acquainted with no cleansing preparation which could be used on the +Rembrandt without danger of “flaying off the last exquisite glazings of +the immortal master’s brush.” The old gentleman was quite satisfied with +this reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away his purchase +in his own carriage on the spot. + +For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that time, a +Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer’s office, terrified +us all by the information that a gentleman related to our venerable +connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had pronounced it to be an impudent +counterfeit, and had engaged on his own account to have the picture +tested in a court of law, and to charge the seller and maker thereof +with conspiring to obtain money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I +looked at each other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable +piece of news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my +faculties first; and I was the man who solved that important and +difficult question, while the rest were still utterly bewildered by it. +“Will you promise me five and twenty pounds in the presence of these +gentlemen if I get you out of this scrape?” said I to my terrified +employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty hands and answered, “Yesh, my +dear!” + +Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office of the +lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case against us; and he +was able to tell me some of the things I most wanted to know in relation +to the picture. + +I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our customer’s +possession. The old gentleman had consented to the question of its +genuineness being tried, but had far too high an idea of his own +knowledge as a connoisseur to incline to the opinion that he had been +taken in. His suspicious relative was not staying in the house, but was +in the habit of visiting him, every day, in the forenoon. That was as +much as I wanted to know from others. The rest depended on myself, on +luck, time, human credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge +which I had acquired in the days of my medical studies. I left the +conclave at the picture-dealer’s forthwith, and purchased at the nearest +druggist’s a bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I +decline to particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the bottle +“The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound”; and I wrapped round it the following +note: + + + +“Mr. Pickup’s respectful compliments to Mr.--(let us say, Green). Is +rejoiced to state that he finds himself unexpectedly able to forward Mr. +Green’s views relative to the cleaning of ‘The Burgomaster’s Breakfast.’ +The inclosed compound has just reached him from Amsterdam. It is made +from a recipe found among the papers of Rembrandt himself--has been +used with the most astonishing results on the Master’s pictures in +every gallery of Holland, and is now being applied to the surface of the +largest Rembrandt in Mr. P.’s own collection. Directions for use: Lay +the picture flat, pour the whole contents of the bottle over it gently, +so as to flood the entire surface; leave the liquid on the surface for +six hours, then wipe it off briskly with a soft cloth of as large a +size as can be conveniently used. The effect will be the most wonderful +removal of all dirt, and a complete and brilliant metamorphosis of the +present dingy surface of the picture.” + + + +I left this note and the bottle myself at two o’clock that day; then +went home, and confidently awaited the result. + +The next morning our friend from the office called, announcing himself +by a burst of laughter outside the door. Mr. Green had implicitly +followed the directions in the letter the moment he received it--had +allowed the “Amsterdam Cleansing Compound” to remain on the Rembrandt +until eight o’clock in the evening--had called for the softest linen +cloth in the whole house--and had then, with his own venerable hands, +carefully wiped off the compound, and with it the whole surface of the +picture! The brown, the black, the Burgomaster, the breakfast, and the +ray of yellow light, all came clean off together in considerably less +than a minute of time. If the picture, was brought into court now, the +evidence it could give against us was limited to a bit of plain panel, +and a mass of black pulp rolled up in a duster. + +Our line of defense was, of course, that the compound had been +improperly used. For the rest, we relied with well-placed confidence on +the want of evidence against us. Mr. Pickup wisely closed his shop for a +while, and went off to the Continent to ransack the foreign galleries. +I received my five and twenty pounds, rubbed out the beginning of my +second Rembrandt, closed the back door of the workshop behind me, and +there was another scene of my life at an end. I had but one circumstance +to regret--and I did regret it bitterly. I was still as ignorant as ever +of the young lady’s name and address. + +My first visit was to the studio of my excellent artist-friend, whom +I have already presented to the reader under the sympathetic name of +“Dick.” He greeted me with a letter in his hand. It was addressed to +me--it had been left at the studio a few days since; and (marvel of all +marvels!) the handwriting was Mr. Batterbury’s. Had this philanthropic +man not done befriending me even yet? Were there any present or +prospective advantages to be got out of him still? Read his letter, and +judge. + + + +“SIR--Although you have forfeited by your ungentlemanly conduct toward +myself, and your heartlessly mischievous reception of my dear wife, all +claim upon the forbearance of the most forbearing of your relatives, +I am disposed, from motives of regard for the tranquillity of Mrs. +Batterbury’s family, and of sheer good-nature so far as I am myself +concerned, to afford you one more chance of retrieving your position by +leading a respectable life. The situation I am enabled to offer you is +that of secretary to a new Literary and Scientific Institution, about to +be opened in the town of Duskydale, near which neighborhood I possess, +as you must be aware, some landed property. The office has been placed +at my disposal, as vice-president of the new Institution. The salary is +fifty pounds a year, with apartments on the attic-floor of the building. +The duties are various, and will be explained to you by the local +committee, if you choose to present yourself to them with the inclosed +letter of introduction. After the unscrupulous manner in which you have +imposed on my liberality by deceiving me into giving you fifty pounds +for an audacious caricature of myself, which it is impossible to hang +up in any room of the house, I think this instance of my forgiving +disposition still to befriend you, after all that has happened, ought to +appeal to any better feelings that you may still have left, and revive +the long dormant emotions of repentance and self-reproach, when you +think on your obedient servant, + +“DANIEL BATTERBURY.” + +Bless me! What A long-winded style, and what a fuss about fifty pounds +a year, and a bed in an attic! These were naturally the first emotions +which Mr. Batterbury’s letter produced in me. What was his real motive +for writing it? I hope nobody will do me so great an injustice as to +suppose that I hesitated for one instant about the way of finding _that_ +out. Of course I started off directly to inquire if Lady Malkinshaw had +had another narrow escape of dying before me. + +“Much better, sir,” answered my grandmother’s venerable butler, wiping +his lips carefully before he spoke; “her ladyship’s health has been much +improved since her accident.” + +“Accident!” I exclaimed. “What, another? Lately? Stairs again?” + +“No, sir; the drawing-room window this time,” answered the butler, with +semi-tipsy gravity. “Her ladyship’s sight having been defective of late +years, occasions her some difficulty in calculating distances. +Three days ago, her ladyship went to look out of the window, and, +miscalculating the distance--” Here the butler, with a fine dramatic +feeling for telling a story, stopped just before the climax of the +narrative, and looked me in the face with an expression of the deepest +sympathy. + +“And miscalculating the distance?” I repeated impatiently. + +“Put her head through a pane of glass,” said the butler, in a soft +voice suited to the pathetic nature of the communication. “By great +good fortune her ladyship had been dressed for the day, and had got her +turban on. This saved her ladyship’s head. But her ladyship’s neck, sir, +had a very narrow escape. A bit of the broken glass wounded it within +half a quarter of an inch of the carotty artery” (meaning, probably, +carotid); “I heard the medical gentleman say, and shall never forget +it to my dying day, that her ladyship’s life had been saved by a +hair-breadth. As it was, the blood lost (the medical gentleman said +that, too, sir) was accidentally of the greatest possible benefit, +being apoplectic, in the way of clearing out the system. Her ladyship’s +appetite has been improved ever since--the carriage is out airing of +her at this very moment--likewise, she takes the footman’s arm and the +maid’s up and downstairs now, which she never would hear of before this +last accident. ‘I feel ten years younger’ (those were her ladyship’s own +words to me, this very day), ‘I feel ten years younger, Vokins, since I +broke the drawing-room window.’ And her ladyship looks it!” + +No doubt. Here was the key to Mr. Batterbury’s letter of forgiveness. +His chance of receiving the legacy looked now further off than ever; +he could not feel the same confidence as his wife in my power of living +down any amount of starvation and adversity; and he was, therefore, +quite ready to take the first opportunity of promoting my precious +personal welfare and security, of which he could avail himself, without +spending a farthing of money. I saw it all clearly, and admired the +hereditary toughness of the Malkinshaw family more gratefully than ever. +What should I do? Go to Duskydale? Why not? It didn’t matter to me where +I went, now that I had no hope of ever seeing those lovely brown eyes +again. + +I got to my new destination the next day, presented my credentials, gave +myself the full advantage of my high connections, and was received with +enthusiasm and distinction. + +I found the new Institution torn by internal schisms even before it was +opened to the public. Two factious governed it--a grave faction and +a gay faction. Two questions agitated it: the first referring to the +propriety of celebrating the opening season by a public ball, and the +second to the expediency of admitting novels into the library. The grim +Puritan interest of the whole neighborhood was, of course, on the +grave side--against both dancing and novels, as proposed by local +loose thinkers and latitudinarians of every degree. I was officially +introduced to the debate at the height of the squabble; and found myself +one of a large party in a small room, sitting round a long table, each +man of us with a new pewter inkstand, a new quill pen, and a clean sheet +of foolscap paper before him. Seeing that everybody spoke, I got on +my legs along with the rest, and made a slashing speech on the +loose-thinking side. I was followed by the leader of the grim +faction--an unlicked curate of the largest dimensions. + +“If there were, so to speak, no other reason against dancing,” said +my reverend opponent, “there is one unanswerable objection to it. +Gentlemen! John the Baptist lost his head through dancing!”’ + +Every man of the grim faction hammered delightedly on the table, as that +formidable argument was produced; and the curate sat down in triumph. I +jumped up to reply, amid the counter-cheering of the loose-thinkers; +but before I could say a word the President of the Institution and the +rector of the parish came into the room. + +They were both men of authority, men of sense, and fathers of charming +daughters, and they turned the scale on the right side in no time. The +question relating to the admission of novels was postponed, and the +question of dancing or no dancing was put to the vote on the spot. The +President, the rector and myself, the three handsomest and highest-bred +men in the assembly, led the way on the liberal side, waggishly warning +all gallant gentlemen present to beware of disappointing the young +ladies. This decided the waverers, and the waverers decided the +majority. My first business, as Secretary, was the drawing out of a +model card of admission to the ball. + +My next occupation was to look at the rooms provided for me. + +The Duskydale Institution occupied a badly-repaired ten-roomed house, +with a great flimsy saloon built at one side of it, smelling of paint +and damp plaster, and called the Lecture Theater. It was the chilliest, +ugliest, emptiest, gloomiest place I ever entered in my life; the idea +of doing anything but sitting down and crying in it seemed to me quite +preposterous; but the committee took a different view of the matter, +and praised the Lecture Theater as a perfect ballroom. The Secretary’s +apartments were two garrets, asserting themselves in the most barefaced +manner, without an attempt at disguise. If I had intended to do more +than earn my first quarter’s salary, I should have complained. But as +I had not the slightest intention of remaining at Duskydale, I could +afford to establish a reputation for amiability by saying nothing. + +“Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A most distinguished +person, and quite an acquisition to the neighborhood.” Such was +the popular opinion of me among the young ladies and the liberal +inhabitants. “Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A worldly, +vainglorious young man. The last person in England to promote the +interests of our new Institution.” Such was the counter-estimate of +me among the Puritan population. I report both opinions quite +disinterestedly. There is generally something to be said on either +side of every question; and, as for me, I can always hold up the scales +impartially, even when my own character is the substance weighing in +them. Readers of ancient history need not be reminded, at this time of +day, that there may be Roman virtue even in a Rogue. + +The objects, interests, and general business of the Duskydale +Institution were matters with which I never thought of troubling myself +on assuming the duties of Secretary. All my energies were given to the +arrangements connected with the opening ball. + +I was elected by acclamation to the office of general manager of the +entertainments; and I did my best to deserve the confidence reposed in +me; leaving literature and science, so far as I was concerned, perfectly +at liberty to advance themselves or not, just as they liked. Whatever +my colleagues may have done, after I left them, nobody at Duskydale +can accuse me of having ever been accessory to the disturbing of +quiet people with useful knowledge. I took the arduous and universally +neglected duty of teaching the English people how to be amused entirely +on my own shoulders, and left the easy and customary business of making +them miserable to others. + +My unhappy countrymen! (and thrice unhappy they of the poorer sort)--any +man can preach to them, lecture to them, and form them into classes--but +where is the man who can get them to amuse themselves? Anybody may cram +their poor heads; but who will brighten their grave faces? Don’t read +story-books, don’t go to plays, don’t dance! Finish your long day’s +work and then intoxicate your minds with solid history, revel in +the too-attractive luxury of the lecture-room, sink under the soft +temptation of classes for mutual instruction! How many potent, grave and +reverent tongues discourse to the popular ear in these siren strains, +and how obediently and resignedly this same weary popular ear listens! +What if a bold man spring up one day, crying aloud in our social +wilderness, “Play, for Heaven’s sake, or you will work yourselves into +a nation of automatons! Shake a loose leg to a lively fiddle! Women +of England! drag the lecturer off the rostrum, and the male mutual +instructor out of the class, and ease their poor addled heads of +evenings by making them dance and sing with you. Accept no offer from +any man who cannot be proved, for a year past, to have systematically +lost his dignity at least three times a week, after office hours. You, +daughters of Eve, who have that wholesome love of pleasure which is one +of the greatest adornments of the female character, set up a society for +the promotion of universal amusement, and save the British nation from +the lamentable social consequences of its own gravity!” Imagine a +voice crying lustily after this fashion--what sort of echoes would it +find?--Groans? + +I know what sort of echoes my voice found. They were so discouraging +to me, and to the frivolous minority of pleasure-seekers, that I +recommended lowering the price of admission so as to suit the means of +any decent people who were willing to leave off money-grubbing and tear +themselves from the charms of mutual instruction for one evening at +least. The proposition was indignantly negatived by the managers of the +Institution. I am so singularly obstinate a man that I was not to be +depressed even by this. + +My next efforts to fill the ballroom could not be blamed. I procured +a local directory, put fifty tickets in my pocket, dressed myself in +nankeen pantaloons and a sky-blue coat (then the height of fashion), +and set forth to tout for dancers among all the members of the genteel +population, who, not being notorious Puritans, had also not been so +obliging as to take tickets for the ball. There never was any pride or +bashfulness about me. Excepting certain periods of suspense and anxiety, +I am as even-tempered a Rogue as you have met with anywhere since the +days of Gil Blas. + +My temperament being opposed to doing anything with regularity, I opened +the directory at hazard, and determined to make my first call at the +first house that caught my eye. Vallombrosa Vale Cottages. No. 1. Doctor +and Miss Dulcifer. Very good. I have no preferences. Let me sell the +first two tickets there. I found the place; I opened the garden gate; I +advanced to the door, innocently wondering what sort of people I should +find inside. + +If I am asked what was the true reason for this extraordinary activity +on my part, in serving the interests of a set of people for whom I cared +nothing, I must honestly own that the loss of my young lady was at the +bottom of it. Any occupation was welcome which kept my mind, in some +degree at least, from dwelling on the bitter disappointment that had +befallen me. When I rang the bell at No. 1, did I feel no presentiment +of the exquisite surprise in store for me? I felt nothing of the sort. +The fact is, my digestion is excellent. Presentiments are more closely +connected than is generally supposed with a weak state of stomach. + +I asked for Miss Dulcifer, and was shown into the sitting-room. + +Don’t expect me to describe my sensations: hundreds of sensations flew +all over me. There she was, sitting alone, near the window! There she +was, with nimble white fingers, working a silk purse! + +The melancholy in her face and manner, when I had last seen her, +appeared no more. She was prettily dressed in maize color, and the room +was well furnished. Her father had evidently got over his difficulties. +I had been inclined to laugh at his odd name, when I found it in the +directory! Now I began to dislike it, because it was her name, too. It +was a consolation to remember that she could change it. Would she change +it for mine? + +I was the first to recover; I boldly drew a chair near her and took her +hand. + +“You see,” I said, “it is of no use to try to avoid me. This is the +third time we have met. Will you receive me as a visitor, under these +extraordinary circumstances? Will you give me a little happiness to +compensate for what I have suffered since you left me?” + +She smiled and blushed. + +“I am so surprised,” she answered, “I don’t know what to say.” + +“Disagreeably surprised?” I asked. + +She first went on with her work, and then replied (a little sadly, as I +thought): + +“No!” + +I was ready enough to take advantage of my opportunities this time; but +she contrived with perfect politeness to stop me. She seemed to remember +with shame, poor soul, the circumstances under which I had last seen +her. + +“How do you come to be at Duskydale?” she inquired, abruptly changing +the subject. “And how did you find us out here?” + +While I was giving her the necessary explanations her father came in. I +looked at him with considerable curiosity. + +A tall stout gentleman with impressive respectability oozing out of him +at every pore--with a swelling outline of black-waistcoated stomach, +with a lofty forehead, with a smooth double chin resting pulpily on a +white cravat. Everything in harmony about him except his eyes, and these +were so sharp, bright and resolute that they seemed to contradict the +bland conventionality which overspread all the rest of the man. Eyes +with wonderful intelligence and self-dependence in them; perhaps, also, +with something a little false in them, which I might have discovered +immediately under ordinary circumstances: but I looked at the doctor +through the medium of his daughter, and saw nothing of him at the first +glance but his merits. + +“We are both very much indebted to you, sir, for your politeness in +calling,” he said, with excessive civility of manner. “But our stay +at this place has drawn to an end. I only came here for the +re-establishment of my daughter’s health. She has benefited greatly +by the change of air, and we have arranged to return home to-morrow. +Otherwise, we should have gladly profited by your kind offer of tickets +for the ball.” + +Of course I had one eye on the young lady while he was speaking. She was +looking at her father, and a sudden sadness was stealing over her face. +What did it mean? Disappointment at missing the ball? No, it was a +much deeper feeling than that. My interest was excited. I addressed a +complimentary entreaty to the doctor not to take his daughter away from +us. I asked him to reflect on the irreparable eclipse that he would be +casting over the Duskydale ballroom. To my amazement, she only +looked down gloomily on her work while I spoke; her father laughed +contemptuously. + +“We are too completely strangers here,” he said, “for our loss to be +felt by any one. From all that I can gather, society in Duskydale will +be glad to hear of our departure. I beg your pardon, Alicia--I ought to +have said _my_ departure.” + +Her name was Alicia! I declare it was a luxury to me to hear it--the +name was so appropriate, so suggestive of the grace and dignity of her +beauty. + +I turned toward her when the doctor had done. She looked more gloomily +than before. I protested against the doctor’s account of himself. +He laughed again, with a quick distrustful lo ok, this time, at his +daughter. + +“If you were to mention my name among your respectable inhabitants,” he +went on, with a strong, sneering emphasis on the word respectable, “they +would most likely purse up their lips and look grave at it. Since I gave +up practice as a physician, I have engaged in chemical investigations +on a large scale, destined I hope, to lead to some important public +results. Until I arrive at these, I am necessarily obliged, in my +own interests, to keep my experiments secret, and to impose similar +discretion on the workmen whom I employ. This unavoidable appearance +of mystery, and the strictly retired life which my studies compel me to +lead, offend the narrow-minded people in my part of the county, close +to Barkingham; and the unpopularity of my pursuits has followed me here. +The general opinion, I believe, is, that I am seeking by unholy arts for +the philosopher’s stone. Plain man, as you see me, I find myself getting +quite the reputation of a Doctor Faustus in the popular mind. Even +educated people in this very place shake their heads and pity my +daughter there for living with an alchemical parent, within easy +smelling-distance of an explosive laboratory. Excessively absurd, is it +not?” + +It might have been excessively absurd, but the lovely Alicia sat with +her eyes on her work, looking as if it were excessively sad, and not +giving her father the faintest answering smile when he glanced toward +her and laughed, as he said his last words. I could not at all tell +what to make of it. The doctor talked of the social consequences of his +chemical inquiries as if he were living in the middle ages. However, +I was far too anxious to see the charming brown eyes again to ask +questions which would be sure to keep them cast down. So I changed the +topic to chemistry in general; and, to the doctor’s evident astonishment +and pleasure, told him of my own early studies in the science. + +This led to the mention of my father, whose reputation had reached the +ears of Doctor Dulcifer. As he told me that, his daughter looked up--the +sun of beauty shone on me again! I touched next on my high connections, +and on Lady Malkinshaw; I described myself as temporarily banished from +home for humorous caricaturing, and amiable youthful wildness. She was +interested; she smiled--and the sun of beauty shone warmer than ever! +I diverged to general topics, and got brilliant and amusing. She +laughed--the nightingale notes of her merriment bubbled into my ears +caressingly--why could I not shut my eyes and listen to them? Her color +rose; her face grew animated. Poor soul! A little lively company was but +too evidently a rare treat to her. Under such circumstances, who would +not be amusing? If she had said to me, “Mr. Softly, I like tumbling,” I +should have made a clown of myself on the spot. I should have stood on +my head (if I could), and been amply rewarded for the graceful exertion, +if the eyes of Alicia had looked kindly on my elevated heels! + +How long I stayed is more than I can tell. Lunch came up. I eat and +drank, and grew more amusing than ever. When I at last rose to go, the +brown eyes looked on me very kindly, and the doctor gave me his card. + +“If you don’t mind trusting yourself in the clutches of Doctor Faustus,” + he said, with a gay smile, “I shall be delighted to see you if you are +ever in the neighborhood of Barkingham.” + +I wrung his hand, mentally relinquishing my secretaryship while I +thanked him for the invitation. I put out my hand next to his daughter, +and the dear friendly girl met the advance with the most charming +readiness. She gave me a good, hearty, vigorous, uncompromising shake. +O precious right hand! never did I properly appreciate your value until +that moment. + +Going out with my head in the air, and my senses in the seventh heaven, +I jostled an elderly gentleman passing before the garden gate. I turned +round to apologize; it was my brother in office, the estimable Treasurer +of the Duskydale Institute. + +“I have been half over the town looking after you,” he said. “The +Managing Committee, on reflection, consider your plan of personally +soliciting public attendance at the hall to be compromising the dignity +of the Institution, and beg you, therefore, to abandon it.” + +“Very well,” said I, “there is no harm done. Thus far, I have only +solicited two persons, Doctor and Miss Dulcifer, in that delightful +little cottage there.” + +“You don’t mean to say you have asked _them_ to come to the ball!” + +“To be sure I have. And I am sorry to say they can’t accept the +invitation. Why should they not be asked?” + +“Because nobody visits them.” + +“And why should nobody visit them?” + +The Treasurer put his arm confidentially through mine, and walked me on +a few steps. + +“In the first place,” he said, “Doctor Dulcifer’s name is not down in +the Medical List.” + +“Some mistake,” I suggested, in my off-hand way. “Or some foreign +doctor’s degree not recognized by the prejudiced people in England.” + +“In the second place,” continued the Treasurer, “we have found out that +he is not visited at Barkingham. Consequently, it would be the height of +imprudence to visit him here.” + +“Pooh! pooh! All the nonsense of narrow-minded people, because he lives +a retired life, and is engaged in finding out chemical secrets which the +ignorant public don’t know how to appreciate.” + +“The shutters are always up in the front top windows of his house at +Barkingham,” said the Treasurer, lowering his voice mysteriously. “I +know it from a friend resident near him. The windows themselves are +barred. It is currently reported that the top of the house, inside, is +shut off by iron doors from the bottom. Workmen are employed there who +don’t belong to the neighborhood, who don’t drink at the public houses, +who only associate with each other. Unfamiliar smells and noises find +their way outside sometimes. Nobody in the house can be got to talk. The +doctor, as he calls himself, does not even make an attempt to get into +society, does not even try to see company for the sake of his poor +unfortunate daughter. What do you think of all that?” + +“Think!” I repeated contemptuously; “I think the inhabitants of +Barkingham are the best finders of mares’ nests in all England. The +doctor is making important chemical discoveries (the possible value of +which I can appreciate, being chemical myself), and he is not quite +fool enough to expose valuable secrets to the view of all the world. His +laboratory is at the top of the house, and he wisely shuts it off from +the bottom to prevent accidents. He is one of the best fellows I ever +met with, and his daughter is the loveliest girl in the world. What +do you all mean by making mysteries about nothing? He has given me an +invitation to go and see him. I suppose the next thing you will find out +is, that there is something underhand even in that?” + +“You won’t accept the invitation?” + +“I shall, at the very first opportunity; and if you had seen Miss +Alicia, so would you.” + +“Don’t go. Take my advice and don’t go,” said the Treasurer, gravely. +“You are a young man. Reputable friends are of importance to you at the +outset of life. I say nothing against Doctor Dulcifer--he came here as +a stranger, and he goes away again as a stranger--but you can’t be sure +that his purpose in asking you so readily to his house is a harmless +one. Making a new acquaintance is always a doubtful speculation; but +when a man is not visited by his respectable neighbors--” + +“Because he doesn’t open his shutters,” I interposed sarcastically. + +“Because there are doubts about him and his house which he will not +clear up,” retorted the Treasurer. “You can take your own way. You may +turn out right, and we may all be wrong; I can only say again, it is +rash to make doubtful acquaintances. Sooner or later you are always +sure to repent it. In your place I should certainly not accept the +invitation.” + +“In my place, my dear sir,” I answered, “you would do exactly what I +mean to do.” + +The Treasurer took his arm out of mine, and without saying another word, +wished me good-morning. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +I HAD spoken confidently enough, while arguing the question of +Doctor Dulcifer’s respectability with the Treasurer of the D uskydale +Institution; but, if my perceptions had not been blinded by my +enthusiastic admiration for Alicia, I think I should have secretly +distrusted my own opinion as soon as I was left by myself. Had I been +in full possession of my senses, I might have questioned, on reflection, +whether the doctor’s method of accounting for the suspicions which kept +his neighbors aloof from him, was quite satisfactory. Love is generally +described, I believe, as the tender passion. When I remember the +insidiously relaxing effect of it on all my faculties, I feel inclined +to alter the popular definition, and to call it a moral vapor-bath. + +What the Managing Committee of the Duskydale Institution thought of the +change in me, I cannot imagine. The doctor and his daughter left the +town on the day they had originally appointed, before I could make +any excuse for calling again; and, as a necessary consequence of their +departure, I lost all interest in the affairs of the ball, and yawned +in the faces of the committee when I was obliged to be present at their +deliberations in my official capacity. + +It was all Alicia with me, whatever they did. I read the Minutes through +a soft medium of maize-colored skirts. Notes of melodious laughter +bubbled, in my mind’s ear, through all the drawling and stammering of +our speech-making members. When our dignified President thought he had +caught my eye, and made oratorical overtures to me from the top of the +table, I was lost in the contemplation of silk purses and white fingers +weaving them. I meant “Alicia” when I said “hear, hear”--and when I +officially produced my subscription list, it was all aglow with the +roseate hues of the marriage-license. If any unsympathetic male readers +should think this statement exaggerated, I appeal to the ladies--_they_ +will appreciate the rigid, yet tender, truth of it. + +The night of the ball came. I have nothing but the vaguest recollection +of it. + +I remember that the more the perverse lecture theater was warmed the +more persistently it smelled of damp plaster; and that the more brightly +it was lighted, the more overgrown and lonesome it looked. I can recall +to mind that the company assembled numbered about fifty, the room being +big enough to hold three hundred. I have a vision still before me, +of twenty out of these fifty guests, solemnly executing intricate +figure-dances, under the superintendence of an infirm local +dancing-master--a mere speck of fidgety human wretchedness twisting +about in the middle of an empty floor. I see, faintly, down the dim +vista of the Past, an agreeable figure, like myself, with a cocked hat +under its arm, black tights on its lightly tripping legs, a rosette in +its buttonhole, and an engaging smile on its face, walking from end to +end of the room, in the character of Master of the Ceremonies. These +visions and events I can recall vaguely; and with them my remembrances +of the ball come to a close. It was a complete failure, and that would, +of itself, have been enough to sicken me of remaining at the Duskydale +Institution, even if I had not had any reasons of the tender sort for +wishing to extend my travels in rural England to the neighborhood of +Barkingham. + +The difficulty was how to find a decent pretext for getting away. +Fortunately, the Managing Committee relieved me of any perplexity on +this head, by passing a resolution, one day, which called upon the +President to remonstrate with me on my want of proper interest in the +affairs of the Institution. I replied to the remonstrance that the +affairs of the Institution were so hopelessly dull that it was equally +absurd and unjust to expect any human being to take the smallest +interest in them. At this there arose an indignant cry of “Resign!” + from the whole committee; to which I answered politely, that I should be +delighted to oblige the gentlemen, and to go forthwith, on condition of +receiving a quarter’s salary in the way of previous compensation. + +After a sordid opposition from an economical minority, my condition of +departure was accepted. I wrote a letter of resignation, received in +exchange twelve pounds ten shillings, and took my place, that same day, +on the box-seat of the Barkingham mail. + +Rather changeable this life of mine, was it not? Before I was +twenty-five years of age, I had tried doctoring, caricaturing +portrait-painting, old picture-making, and Institution-managing; and +now, with the help of Alicia, I was about to try how a little marrying +would suit me. Surely, Shakespeare must have had me prophetically in his +eye, when he wrote about “one man in his time playing many parts.” What +a character I should have made for him, if he had only been alive now! + +I found out from the coachman, among other matters, that there was a +famous fishing stream near Barkingham; and the first thing I did, on +arriving at the town, was to buy a rod and line. + +It struck me that my safest way of introducing myself would be to +tell Doctor Dulcifer that I had come to the neighborhood for a little +fishing, and so to prevent him from fancying that I was suspiciously +prompt in availing myself of his offered hospitality. I put up, of +course, at the inn--stuck a large parchment book of flies half in and +half out of the pocket of my shooting-jacket--and set off at once to the +doctor’s. The waiter of whom I asked my way stared distrustfully while +he directed me. The people at the inn had evidently heard of my new +friend, and were not favorably disposed toward the cause of scientific +investigation. + +The house stood about a mile out of the town, in a dip of ground near +the famous fishing-stream. It was a lonely, old-fashioned red-brick +building, surrounded by high walls, with a garden and plantation behind +it. + +As I rang at the gate-bell, I looked up at the house. Sure enough all +the top windows in front were closed with shutters and barred. I was let +in by a man in livery; who, however, in manners and appearance, looked +much more like a workman in disguise than a footman. He had a very +suspicious eye, and he fixed it on me unpleasantly when I handed him my +card. + +I was shown into a morning-room exactly like other morning-rooms in +country houses. + +After a long delay the doctor came in, with scientific butchers’ sleeves +on his arms, and an apron tied round his portly waist. He apologized for +coming down in his working dress, and said everything that was civil and +proper about the pleasure of unexpectedly seeing me again so soon. There +was something rather preoccupied, I thought, in those brightly resolute +eyes of his; but I naturally attributed it to the engrossing influence +of his scientific inquiries. He was evidently not at all taken in by my +story about coming to Barkingham to fish; but he saw, as well as I did, +that it would do to keep up appearances, and contrived to look highly +interested immediately in my parchment-book. I asked after his daughter. +He said she was in the garden, and proposed that we should go and find +her. We did find her, with a pair of scissors in her hand, outblooming +the flowers that she was trimming. She looked really glad to see me--her +brown eyes beamed clear and kindly--she gave my hand another inestimable +shake--the summer breezes waved her black curls gently upward from her +waist--she had on a straw hat and a brown Holland gardening dress. +I eyed it with all the practical interest of a linendraper. O Brown +Holland you are but a coarse and cheap fabric, yet how soft and +priceless you look when clothing the figure of Alicia! + +I lunched with them. The doctor recurred to the subject of my angling +intentions, and asked his daughter if she had heard what parts of the +stream at Barkingham were best for fishing in. + +She replied, with a mixture of modest evasiveness and adorable +simplicity, that she had sometimes seen gentlemen angling from a +meadow-bank about a quarter of a mile below her flower-garden. I risked +everything in my usual venturesome way, and asked if she would show +me where the place was, in case I called the next morning with my +fishing-rod. She looked dutifully at her father. He smiled and nodded. +Inestimable parent! + +On rising to take leave, I was rather curious to know whether he would +offer me a bed in the house, or not. He detected the direction of my +thoughts in my face and manner, and apologized for not having a bed to +offer me; every spare room in the house being occupied by his chemical +assistants, and by the lumber of laboratories. Even while he was +speaking those few words, Alicia’s face changed just as I had seen +it change at our first interview. The downcast, gloomy expression +overspread it again. Her father’s eye wandered toward her when mine +did, and suddenly assumed the same distrustful look which I remembered +detecting in it, under similar circumstances, at Duskydale. What could +this mean? + +The doctor shook hands with me in the hall, leaving the workman-like +footman to open the door. + +I stopped to admire a fine pair of stag’s antlers. The footman coughed +impatiently. I still lingered, hearing the doctor’s footsteps ascending +the stairs. They suddenly stopped; and then there was a low heavy +clang, like the sound of a closing door made of iron, or of some other +unusually strong material; then total silence, interrupted by another +impatient cough from the workman-like footman. After that, I thought my +wisest proceeding would be to go away before my mysterious attendant was +driven to practical extremities. + +Between thoughts of Alicia, and inquisitive yearnings to know more about +the doctor’s experiments, I passed rather a restless night at my inn. + +The next morning, I found the lovely mistress of my destiny, with the +softest of shawls on her shoulders, the brightest of parasols in her +hand, and the smart little straw hat of the day before on her head, +ready to show me the way to the fishing-place. If I could be sure +beforehand that these pages would only be read by persons actually +occupied in the making of love--that oldest and longest-established of +all branches of manufacturing industry--I could go into some very tender +and interesting particulars on the subject of my first day’s fishing, +under the adorable auspices of Alicia. But as I cannot hope for a wholly +sympathetic audience--as there may be monks, misogynists, political +economists, and other professedly hard-hearted persons present among +those whom I now address--I think it best to keep to safe generalities, +and to describe my love-making in as few sentences as the vast, though +soft, importance of the subject will allow me to use. + +Let me confess, then, that I assumed the character of a fastidious +angler, and managed to be a week in discovering the right place to fish +in--always, it is unnecessary to say, under Alicia’s guidance. We went +up the stream and down the stream, on one side. We crossed the bridge, +and went up the stream and down the stream on the other. We got into +a punt, and went up the stream (with great difficulty), and down the +stream (with great ease). We landed on a little island, and walked all +round it, and inspected the stream attentively from a central point of +view. We found the island damp, and went back to the bank, and up the +stream, and over the bridge, and down the stream again; and then, for +the first time, the sweet girl turned appealingly to me, and confessed +that she had exhausted her artless knowledge of the locality. It was +exactly a week from the day when I had first followed her into the +fields with my fishing-rod over my shoulder; and I had never yet caught +anything but Alicia’s hand, and that not with my hook. + +We sat down close together on the bank, entirely in consequence of our +despair at not finding a good fishing-place. I looked at the brown eyes, +and they turned away observantly down the stream. I followed them, and +they turned away inquiringly up the stream. Was this angel of patience +and kindness still looking for a fishing place? And was it _up_ the +stream, after all? No!--she smiled and shook her head when I asked the +question, and the brown eyes suddenly stole a look at me. I could +hold out no longer In one breathless moment I caught hold of both her +hands--in one stammering sentence I asked her if she would be my wife. + +She tried faintly to free her hands--gave up the attempt--smiled--made +an effort to look grave--gave that up, too--sighed suddenly--checked +herself suddenly--said nothing. Perhaps I ought to have taken my answer +for granted; but the least business-like man that ever lived becomes +an eminently practical character in matters of love. I repeated my +question. She looked away confusedly; her eye lighted on a corner of +her father’s red-brick house, peeping through a gap in the plantation +already mentioned; and her blushing cheeks lost their color instantly. I +felt her hands grow cold; she drew them resolutely out of mine, and rose +with the tears in her eyes. Had I offended her? + +“No,” she said when I asked her the question, and turned to me again, +and held out her hand with such frank, fearless kindness, that I almost +fell on my knees to thank her for it. + +Might I hope ever to hear her say “Yes” to the question that I had asked +on the riverbank? + +She sighed bitterly, and turned again toward the red-brick house. + +Was there any family reason against her saying “Yes”? Anything that I +must not inquire into? Any opposition to be dreaded from her father? + +The moment I mentioned her father, she shrank away from me and burst +into a violent fit of crying. + +“Don’t speak of it again!” she said in a broken voice. “I mustn’t--you +mustn’t--ah, don’t, don’t say a word more about it! I’m not distressed +with you--it is not your fault. Don’t say anything--leave me quiet for a +minute. I shall soon be better it you leave me quiet.” + +She dried her eyes directly, with a shiver as if it was cold, and took +my arm. I led her back to the house-gate; and then, feeling that I +could not go in to lunch as usual, after what had happened, said I would +return to the fishing-place. + +“Shall I come to dinner this evening?” I asked, as I rang the gate-bell +for her. + +“Oh, yes--yes!--do come, or he--” + +The mysterious man-servant opened the door, and we parted before she +could say the next words. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +I WENT back to the fishing-place with a heavy heart, overcome by +mournful thoughts, for the first time in my life. It was plain that +she did not dislike me, and equally plain that there was some obstacle +connected with her father, which forbade her to listen to my offer of +marriage. From the time when she had accidentally looked toward the +red-brick house, something in her manner which it is quite impossible +to describe, had suggested to my mind that this obstacle was not only +something she could not mention, but something that she was partly +ashamed of, partly afraid of, and partly doubtful about. What could it +be? How had she first known it? In what way was her father connected +with it? + +In the course of our walks she had told me nothing about herself which +was not perfectly simple and unsuggestive. + +Her childhood had been passed in England. After that, she had lived with +her father and mother at Paris, where the doctor had many friends--for +all of whom she remembered feeling more or less dislike, without being +able to tell why. They had then come to England, and had lived in +lodgings in London. For a time they had been miserably poor. But, after +her mother’s death--a sudden death from heart disease--there had come a +change in their affairs, which she was quite unable to explain. They had +removed to their present abode, to give the doctor full accommodation +for the carrying on of his scientific pursuits. He often had occasion to +go to London; but never took her with him. The only woman at home +now, beside herself, was an elderly person, who acted as cook and +housekeeper, and who had been in their service for many years. It was +very lonely sometimes not having a companion of her own age and sex; +but she had got tolerably used to bear it, and to amuse herself with her +books, and music, and flowers. + +Thus far she chatted about herself quite freely; but when I tried, even +in the vaguest manner, to lead her into discussing the causes of +her strangely secluded life, she looked so distressed, and became so +suddenly silent, that I naturally refrained from saying another word on +that topic. One conclusion, however, I felt tolerably sure that I had +drawn correctly from what she said: her father’s conduct toward her, +though not absolutely blamable or grossly neglectful on any point, +had still never been of a nature to make her ardently fond of him. He +performed the ordinary parental duties rigidly and respectably enough; +but he had apparently not cared to win all the filial love which his +daughter would have bestowed on a more affectionate man. + +When, after reflecting on what Alicia had told me, I began to call to +mind what I had been able to observe for myself, I found ample materials +to excite my curiosity in relation to the doctor, if not my distrust. + +I have already described how I heard the clang of the heavy door, on the +occasion of my first visit to the red-brick house. The next day, when +the doctor again took leave of me in the hall, I hit on a plan for +seeing the door as well as hearing it. I dawdled on my way out, till I +heard the clang again; then pretended to remember some important message +which I had forgotten to give to the doctor, and with a look of innocent +hurry ran upstairs to overtake him. The disguised workman ran after +me with a shout of “Stop!” I was conveniently deaf to him--reached the +first floor landing--and arrived at a door which shut off the whole +staircase higher up; an iron door, as solid as if it belonged to a +banker’s strong-room, and guarded millions of money. I returned to the +hall, inattentive to the servant’s not over-civil remonstrances, and, +saying that I would wait till I saw the doctor again, left the house. + +The next day two pale-looking men, in artisan costume, came up to the +gate at the same time as I did, each carrying a long wooden box under +his arm, strongly bound with iron. I tried to make them talk while we +were waiting for admission, but neither of them would go beyond “Yes,” + or “No”; and both had, to my eyes, some unmistakably sinister lines in +their faces. The next day the houskeeping cook came to the door--a buxom +old woman with a look and a ready smile, and something in her manner +which suggested that she had not begun life quite so respectably as she +was now ending it. She seemed to be decidedly satisfied with my personal +appearance; talked to me on indifferent matters with great glibness; +but suddenly became silent and diplomatic the moment I looked toward the +stair and asked innocently if she had to go up and down them often in +the course of the day. As for the doctor himself he was unapproachable +on the subject of the mysterious upper regions. If I introduced +chemistry in general into the conversation he begged me not to spoil his +happy holiday hours with his daughter and me, by leading him back to his +work-a-day thoughts. If I referred to his own experiments in particular +he always made a joke about being afraid of my chemical knowledge, and +of my wishing to anticipate him in his discoveries. In brief, after a +week’s run of the lower regions, the upper part of the red-brick +house and the actual nature of its owner’s occupations still remained +impenetrable mysteries to me, pry, ponder, and question as I might. + +Thinking of this on the river-bank, in connection with the distressing +scene which I had just had with Alicia, I found that the mysterious +obstacle at which she had hinted, the mysterious life led by her +father, and the mysterious top of the house that had hitherto defied +my curiosity, all three connected themselves in my mind as links of the +same chain. The obstacle to my marrying Alicia was the thing that most +troubled me. If I only found out what it was, and if I made light of +it (which I was resolved beforehand to do, let it be what it might), I +should most probably end by overcoming her scruples, and taking her away +from the ominous red-brick house in the character of my wife. But how +was I to make the all-important discovery? + +Cudgeling my brains for an answer to this question, I fell at last into +reasoning upon it, by a process of natural logic, something after this +fashion: The mysterious top of the house is connected with the +doctor, and the doctor is connected with the obstacle which has made +wretchedness between Alicia and me. If I can only get to the top of the +house, I may get also to the root of the obstacle. It is a dangerous and +an uncertain experiment; but, come what may of it, I will try and find +out, if human ingenuity can compass the means, what Doctor Dulcifer’s +occupation really is, on the other side of that iron door. + +Having come to this resolution (and deriving, let me add, +parenthetically, great consolation from it), the next subject of +consideration was the best method of getting safely into the top regions +of the house. + +Picking the lock of the iron door was out of the question, from the +exposed nature of the situation which that mysterious iron barrier +occupied. My only possible way to the second floor lay by the back of +the house. I had looked up at it two or three times, while walking +in the garden after dinner with Alicia. What had I brought away in +my memory as the result of that casual inspection of my host’s back +premises? Several fragments of useful information. + +In the first place, one of the most magnificent vines I had ever seen +grew against the back wall of the house, trained carefully on a strong +trellis-work. In the second place, the middle first-floor back window +looked out on a little stone balcony, built on the top of the porch +over the garden door. In the third place, the back windows of the +second floor had been open, on each occasion when I had seen them--most +probably to air the house, which could not be ventilated from the front +during the hot summer weather, in consequence of the shut-up condition +of all the windows thereabouts. In the fourth place, hard by the +coach-house in which Doctor Dulcifer’s neat gig was put up, there was a +tool-shed, in which the gardener kept his short pruning-ladder. In the +fifth and last place, outside the stable in which Doctor Dulcifer’s +blood mare lived in luxurious solitude, was a dog-kennel with a large +mastiff chained to it night and day. If I could only rid myself of the +dog--a gaunt, half-starved brute, made savage and mangy by perpetual +confinement--I did not see any reason to despair of getting in +undiscovered at one of the second-floor windows--provided I waited until +a sufficiently late hour, and succeeded in scaling the garden wall at +the back of the house. + +Life without Alicia being not worth having, I determined to risk the +thing that very night. + +Going back at once to the town of Barkingham, I provided myself with a +short bit of rope, a little bull’s-eye lantern, a small screwdriver, and +a nice bit of beef chemically adapted for the soothing of troublesome +dogs. I then dressed, disposed of these things neatly in my coat +pockets, and went to the doctor’s to dinner. In one respect, +Fortune favored my audacity. It was the sultriest day of the whole +season--surely they could not think of shutting up the second-floor back +windows to-night! + +Alicia was pale and silent. The lovely brown eyes, when they looked +at me, said as plainly as in words, “We have been crying a great deal, +Frank, since we saw you last.” The little white fingers gave mine a +significant squeeze--and that was all the reference that passed between +us to what happened in the morning. She sat through the dinner bravely; +but, when the dessert came, left us for the night, with a few shy, +hurried words about the excessive heat of the weather being too much +for her. I rose to open the door, and exchanged a last meaning look with +her, as she bowed and went by me. Little did I think that I should have +to live upon nothing but the remembrance of that look for many weary +days that were yet to come. + +The doctor was in excellent spirits, and almost oppressively hospitable. +We sat sociably chatting over our claret till past eight o’clock. Then +my host turned to his desk to write a letter before the post want out; +and I strolled away to smoke a cigar in the garden. + +Second-floor back windows all open, atmosphere as sultry as ever, +gardener’s pruning-ladder quite safe in the tool-shed, savage mastiff +in his kennel crunching his bones for supper. Good. The dog will not be +visited again tonight: I may throw my medicated bit of beef at once into +his kennel. I acted on the idea immediately; the dog seized his piece of +beef; I heard a snap, a wheeze, a choke, and a groan--and there was the +mastiff disposed of, inside the kennel, where nobody could find out that +he was dead till the time came for feeding him the next morning. + +I went back to the doctor; we had a social glass of cold +brandy-and-water together; I lighted another cigar, and took my leave. +My host being too respectable a man not to keep early country hours, I +went away, as usual, about ten. The mysterious man-servant locked the +gate behind me. I sauntered on the road back to Barkingham for about +five minutes, then struck off sharp for the plantation, lighted +my lantern with the help of my cigar and a brimstone match of that +barbarous period, shut down the slide again, and made for the garden +wall. + +It was formidably high, and garnished horribly with broken bottles; +but it was also old, and when I came to pick at the mortar with my +screw-driver, I found it reasonably rotten with age and damp. + +I removed four bricks to make footholes in different positions up the +wall. It was desperately hard and long work, easy as it may sound in +description--especially when I had to hold on by the top of the wall, +with my flat opera hat (as we used to call it in those days) laid, as a +guard, between my hand and the glass, while I cleared a way through the +sharp bottle-ends for my other hand and my knees. This done, my great +difficulty was vanquished; and I had only to drop luxuriously into a +flower-bed on the other side of the wall. + +Perfect stillness in the garden: no sign of a light anywhere at the back +of the house: first-floor windows all shut: second-floor windows still +open. I fetched the pruning-ladder; put it against the side of the +porch; tied one end of my bit of rope to the top round of it; took the +other end in my mouth, and prepared to climb to the balcony over the +porch by the thick vine branches and the trellis-work. + +No man who has had any real experience of life can have failed to +observe how amazingly close, in critical situations, the grotesque +and the terrible, the comic and the serious, contrive to tread on each +other’s heels. At such times, the last thing we ought properly to +think of comes into our heads, or the least consistent event that could +possibly be expected to happen does actually occur. When I put my +life in danger on that memorable night, by putting my foot on the +trellis-work, I absolutely thought of the never-dying Lady Malkinshaw +plunged in refreshing slumber, and of the frantic exclamations Mr. +Batterbury would utter if he saw what her ladyship’s grandson was +doing with his precious life and limbs at that critical moment. I am no +hero--I was fully aware of the danger to which I was exposing myself; +and yet I protest that I caught myself laughing under my breath, with +the most outrageous inconsistency, at the instant when I began the +ascent of the trellis-work. + +I reached the balcony over the porch in safety, depending more upon +the tough vine branches than the trellis-work during my ascent. My next +employment was to pull up the pruning-ladder, as softly as possible, +by the rope which I held attached to it. This done, I put the ladder +against the house wall, listened, measured the distance to the open +second-floor window with my eye, listened again--and, finding all quiet, +began my second and last ascent. The ladder was comfortably long, and I +was conveniently tall; my hand was on the window-sill--I mounted another +two rounds--and my eyes were level with the interior of the room. + +Suppose any one should be sleeping there! + +I listened at the window attentively before I ventured on taking my +lantern out of my coatpocket. The night was so quite and airless that +there was not the faintest rustle among the leaves in the garden beneath +me to distract my attention. I listened. The breathing of the lightest +of sleepers must have reached my ear, through that intense stillness, if +the room had been a bedroom, and the bed were occupied. I heard nothing +but the quick beat of my own heart. The minutes of suspense were passing +heavily--I laid my other hand over the window-sill, then a moment of +doubt came--doubt whether I should carry the adventure any further. I +mastered my hesitation directly--it was too late for second thoughts. +“Now for it!” I whispered to myself, and got in at the window. + +To wait, listening again, in the darkness of that unknown region, was +more than I had courage for. The moment I was down on the floor, I +pulled the lantern out of my pocket and raised the shade. + +So far, so good--I found myself in a dirty lumber-room. Large pans, some +of them cracked and more of them broken; empty boxes bound with iron, of +the same sort as those I had seen the workmen bringing in at the front +gate; old coal sacks; a packing-case full of coke; and a huge, cracked, +mouldy blacksmith’s bellows--these were the principal objects that I +observed in the lumber-room. The one door leading out of it was open, +as I had expected it would be, in order to let the air through the back +window into the house. I took off my shoes, and stole into the passage. +My first impulse, the moment I looked along it, was to shut down my +lantern-shade, and listen again. + +Still I heard nothing; but at the far end of the passage I saw a bright +light pouring through the half-opened door of one of the mysterious +front rooms. + +I crept softly toward it. A decidedly chemical smell began to steal into +my nostrils--and, listening again, I thought I heard above me, and +in some distant room, a noise like the low growl of a large furnace, +muffled in some peculiar manner. Should I retrace my steps in that +direction? No--not till I had seen something of the room with the bright +light, outside of which I was now standing. I bent forward softly; +looking by little and little further and further through the opening of +the door, until my head and shoulders were fairly inside the room, and +my eyes had convinced me that no living soul, sleeping or waking, was in +any part of it at that particular moment. Impelled by a fatal curiosity, +I entered immediately, and began to look about me with eager eyes. + +I saw iron ladles, pans full of white sand, files with white metal left +glittering in their teeth, molds of plaster of Paris, bags containing +the same material in powder, a powerful machine with the name and use +of which I was theoretically not unacquainted, white metal in a +partially-fused state, bottles of aquafortis, dies scattered over a +dresser, crucibles, sandpaper, bars of metal, and edged tools in plenty, +of the strangest construction. I was not at all a scrupulous man, as +the reader knows by this time; but when I looked at these objects, and +thought of Alicia, I could not for the life of me help shuddering. There +was not the least doubt about it, even after the little I had seen: +the important chemical pursuits to which Doctor Dulcifer was devoting +himself, meant, in plain English and in one word--Coining. + +Did Alicia know what I knew now, or did she only suspect it? + +Whichever way I answered that question in my own mind, I could be no +longer at any loss for an explanation of her behavior in the meadow +by the stream, or of that unnaturally gloomy, downcast look which +overspread her face when her father’s pursuits were the subject of +conversation. Did I falter in my resolution to marry her, now that I had +discovered what the obstacle was which had made mystery and wretchedness +between us? Certainly not. I was above all prejudices. I was the +least particular of mankind. I had no family affection in my way--and, +greatest fact of all, I was in love. Under those circumstances what +Rogue of any spirit would have faltered? After the first shock of the +discovery was over, my resolution to be Alicia’s husband was settled +more firmly than ever. + +There was a little round table in a corner of the room furthest from +the door, which I had not yet examined. A feverish longing to look at +everything within my reach--to penetrate to the innermost recesses of +the labyrinth in which I had involved myself--consumed me. I went to the +table, and saw upon it, ranged symmetrically side by side, four objects +which looked like thick rulers wrapped up in silver paper. I opened the +paper at the end of one of the rulers, and found that it was composed of +half-crowns. I had closed the paper again, and was just raising my head +from the table over which it had been bent, when my right cheek came +in contact with something hard and cold. I started back--looked up--and +confronted Doctor Dulcifer, holding a pistol at my right temple. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE doctor (like me) had his shoes off. The doctor (like me) had come +in without making the least noise. He cocked the pistol without saying a +word. I felt that I was probably standing face to face with death, and +I too said not a word. We two Rogues looked each other steadily and +silently in the face--he, the mighty and prosperous villain, with my +life in his hands: I, the abject and poor scamp, waiting his mercy. + +It must have been at least a minute after I heard the click of the +cocked pistol before he spoke. + +“How did you get here?” he asked. + +The quiet commonplace terms in which he put his question, and the +perfect composure and politeness of his manner, reminded me a little of +Gentleman Jones. But the doctor was much the more respectable-looking +man of the two; his baldness was more intellectual and benevolent; there +was a delicacy and propriety in the pulpiness of his fat white chin, a +bland bagginess in his unwhiskered cheeks, a reverent roughness about +his eyebrows and a fullness in his lower eyelids, which raised him far +higher, physiognomically speaking, in the social scale, than my old +prison acquaintance. Put a shovel-hat on Gentleman Jones, and the effect +would only have been eccentric; put the same covering on the head of +Doctor Dulcifer, and the effect would have been strictly episcopal. + +“How did you get here?” he repeated, still without showing the least +irritation. + +I told him how I had got in at the second-floor window, without +concealing a word of the truth. The gravity of the situation, and the +sharpness of the doctor’s intellects, as expressed in his eyes, made +anything like a suppression of facts on my part a desperately dangerous +experiment. + +“You wanted to see what I was about up here, did you?” said he, when I +had ended my confession. “Do you know?” + +The pistol barrel touched my cheek as he said the last words. I +thought of all the suspicious objects scattered about the room, of the +probability that he was only putting this question to try my courage, of +the very likely chance that he would shoot me forthwith, if I began to +prevaricate. I thought of these things, and boldly answered: + +“Yes, I do know.” + +He looked at me reflectively; then said, in low, thoughtful tones, +speaking, not to me, but entirely to himself: + +“Suppose I shoot him?” + +I saw in his eye, that if I flinched, he would draw the trigger. + +“Suppose you trust me?” I said, without moving a muscle. + +“I trusted you, as an honest man, downstairs, and I find you, like a +thief, up here,” returned the doctor, with a self-satisfied smile at +the neatness of his own retort. “No,” he continued, relapsing into +soliloquy: “there is risk every way; but the least risk perhaps is to +shoot him.” + +“Wrong,” said I. “There are relations of mine who have a pecuniary +interest in my life. I am the main condition of a contingent reversion +in their favor. If I am missed, I shall be inquired after.” I have +wondered since at my own coolness in the face of the doctor’s pistol; +but my life depended on my keeping my self-possession, and the desperate +nature of the situation lent me a desperate courage. + +“How do I know you are not lying?” he asked. + +“Have I not spoken the truth, hitherto?” + +Those words made him hesitate. He lowered the pistol slowly to his side. +I began to breathe freely. + +“Trust me,” I repeated. “If you don’t believe I would hold my tongue +about what I have seen here, for your sake, you may be certain that I +would for--” + +“For my daughter’s,” he interposed, with a sarcastic smile. + +I bowed with all imaginable cordiality. The doctor waved his pistol in +the air contemptuously. + +“There are two ways of making you hold your tongue,” he said. “The first +is shooting you; the second is making a felon of you. On consideration, +after what you have said, the risk in either case seems about equal. I +am naturally a humane man; your family have done me no injury; I will +not be the cause of their losing money; I won’t take your life, I’ll +have your character. We are all felons on this floor of the house. You +have come among us--you shall be one of us. Ring that bell.” + +He pointed with the pistol to a bell-handle behind me. I pulled it in +silence. + +Felon! The word has an ugly sound--a very ugly sound. But, considering +how near the black curtain had been to falling over the adventurous +drama of my life, had I any right to complain of the prolongation of the +scene, however darkly it might look at first? Besides, some of the best +feelings of our common nature (putting out of all question the value +which men so unaccountably persist in setting on their own lives), +impelled me, of necessity, to choose the alternative of felonious +existence in preference to that of respectable death. Love and Honor +bade me live to marry Alicia; and a sense of family duty made me shrink +from occasioning a loss of three thousand pounds to my affectionate +sister. Perish the far-fetched scruples which would break the heart of +one lovely woman, and scatter to the winds the pin-money of another! + +“If you utter one word in contradiction of anything I say when my +workmen come into the room,” said the doctor, uncocking his pistol as +soon as I had rung the bell, “I shall change my mind about leaving your +life and taking your character. Remember that; and keep a guard on your +tongue.” + +The door opened, and four men entered. One was an old man whom I had not +seen before; in the other three I recognized the workman-like footman, +and the two sinister artisans whom I had met at the house-gate. They all +started, guiltily enough, at seeing me. + +“Let me introduce you,” said the doctor, taking me by the arm. “Old File +and Young File, Mill and Screw--Mr. Frank Softly. We have nicknames +in this workshop, Mr. Softly, derived humorously from our professional +tools and machinery. When you have been here long enough, you will get +a nickname, too. Gentlemen,” he continued, turning to the workmen, “this +is a new recruit, with a knowledge of chemistry which will be useful to +us. He is perfectly well aware that the nature of our vocation makes +us suspicious of all newcomers, and he, therefore, desires to give you +practical proof that he is to be depended on, by making half-a-crown +immediately, and sending the same up, along with our handiwork, directed +in his own handwriting, to our estimable correspondents in London. When +you have all seen him do this of his own free will, and thereby put his +own life as completely within the power of the law as we have put +ours, you will know that he is really one of us, and will be under no +apprehensions for the future. Take great pains with him, and as soon as +he turns out a tolerably neat article, from the simple flatted plates, +under your inspection, let me know. I shall take a few hours’ repose +on my camp-bed in the study, and shall be found there whenever you want +me.” + +He nodded to us all round in the most friendly manner, and left the +room. + +I looked with considerable secret distrust at the four gentlemen who +were to instruct me in the art of making false coin. Young File was the +workman-like footman; Old File was his father; Mill and Screw were the +two sinister artisans. The man of the company whose looks I liked least +was Screw. He had wicked little twinkling eyes--and they followed me +about treacherously whenever I moved. “You and I, Screw, are likely to +quarrel,” I thought to myself, as I tried vainly to stare him out of +countenance. + +I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith. Resistance was +useless, and calling for help would have been sheer insanity. It was +midnight; and, even supposing the windows had not been barred, the +house was a mile from any human habitation. Accordingly, I abandoned +myself to fate with my usual magnanimity. Only let me end in winning +Alicia, and I am resigned to the loss of whatever small shreds and +patches of respectability still hang about me--such was my philosophy. +I wish I could have taken higher moral ground with equally consoling +results to my own feelings. + +The same regard for the well-being of society which led me to abstain +from entering into particulars on the subject of Old Master-making, when +I was apprenticed to Mr. Ishmael Pickup, now commands me to be equally +discreet on the kindred subject of Half-Crown-making, under the auspices +of Old File, Young File, Mill, and Screw. + +Let me merely record that I was a kind of machine in the hands of these +four skilled workmen. I moved from room to room, and from process to +process, the creature of their directing eyes and guiding hands. I cut +myself, I burned myself, I got speechless from fatigue, and giddy from +want of sleep. In short, the sun of the new day was high in the heavens +before it was necessary to disturb Doctor Dulcifer. It had absolutely +taken me almost as long to manufacture a half-a-crown feloniously as +it takes a respectable man to make it honestly. This is saying a great +deal; but it is literally true for all that. + +Looking quite fresh and rosy after his night’s sleep, the doctor +inspected my coin with the air of a schoolmaster examining a little +boy’s exercise; then handed it to Old File to put the finished touches +and correct the mistakes. It was afterward returned to me. My own hand +placed it in one of the rouleaux of false half-crowns; and my own hand +also directed the spurious coin, when it had been safely packed up, to +a certain London dealer who was to be on the lookout for it by the next +night’s mail. That done, my initiation was so far complete. + +“I have sent for your luggage, and paid your bill at the inn,” said the +doctor; “of course in your name. You are now to enjoy the hospitality +that I could not extend to you before. A room upstairs has been prepared +for you. You are not exactly in a state of confinement; but, until your +studies are completed, I think you had better not interrupt them by +going out.” + +“A prisoner!” I exclaimed aghast. + +“Prisoner is a hard word,” answered the doctor. “Let us say, a guest +under surveillance.” + +“Do you seriously mean that you intend to keep me shut up in this part +of the house, at your will and pleasure?” I inquired, my heart sinking +lower and lower at every word I spoke. + +“It is very spacious and airy,” said the doctor; “as for the lower part +of the house, you would find no company there, so you can’t want to go +to it.” + +“No company!” I repeated faintly. + +“No. My daughter went away this morning for change of air and scene, +accompanied by my housekeeper. You look astonished, my dear sir--let +me frankly explain myself. While you were the respectable son of Doctor +Softly, and grandson of Lady Malkinshaw, I was ready enough to let my +daughter associate with you, and should not have objected if you had +married her off my hands into a highly-connected family. Now, however, +when you are nothing but one of the workmen in my manufactory of money, +your social position is seriously altered for the worse; and, as I could +not possibly think of you for a son-in-law, I have considered it best to +prevent all chance of your communicating with Alicia again, by sending +her away from this house while you are in it. You will be in it until I +have completed certain business arrangements now in a forward state of +progress--after that, you may go away if you please. Pray remember that +you have to thank yourself for the position you now stand in; and do +me the justice to admit that my conduct toward you is remarkably +straightforward, and perfectly natural under all the circumstances.” + +These words fairly overwhelmed me. I did not even make an attempt to +answer them. The hard trials to my courage, endurance, and physical +strength, through which I had passed within the last twelve hours, had +completely exhausted all my powers of resistance. I went away speechless +to my own room; and when I found myself alone there, burst out crying. +Childish, was it not? + +When I had been rested and strengthened by a few hours’ sleep, I found +myself able to confront the future with tolerable calmness. + +What would it be best for me to do? Ought I to attempt to make my +escape? I did not despair of succeeding; but when I began to think of +the consequences of success, I hesitated. My chief object now was, not +so much to secure my own freedom, as to find my way to Alicia. I had +never been so deeply and desperately in love with her as I was now, when +I knew she was separated from me. Suppose I succeeded in escaping from +the clutches of Doctor Dulcifer--might I not be casting myself uselessly +on the world, without a chance of finding a single clew to trace her +by? Suppose, on the other hand, that I remained for the present in +the red-brick house--should I not by that course of conduct be putting +myself in the best position for making discoveries? + +In the first place, there was the chance that Alicia might find some +secret means of communicating with me if I remained where I was. In the +second place, the doctor would, in all probability, have occasion to +write to his daughter, or would be likely to receive letters from her; +and, if I quieted all suspicion on my account, by docile behavior, +and kept my eyes sharply on the lookout, I might find opportunities of +surprising the secrets of his writing-desk. I felt that I need be under +no restraints of honor with a man who was keeping me a prisoner, and who +had made an accomplice of me by threatening my life. Accordingly, +while resolving to show outwardly an amiable submission to my fate, I +determined at the same time to keep secretly on the watch, and to take +the very first chance of outwitting Doctor Dulcifer that might happen +to present itself. When we next met I was perfectly civil to him. He was +too well-bred a man not to match me on the common ground of courtesy. + +“Permit me to congratulate you,” he said, “on the improvement in your +manner and appearance. You are beginning well, Francis. Go on as you +have begun.” + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MY first few days’ experience in my new position satisfied me that +Doctor Dulcifer preserved himself from betrayal by a system of +surveillance worthy of the very worst days of the Holy Inquisition +itself. + +No man of us ever knew that he was not being overlooked at home, or +followed when he went out, by another man. Peepholes were pierced in the +wall of each room, and we were never certain, while at work, whose eye +was observing, or whose ear was listening in secret. Though we all lived +together, we were probably the least united body of men ever assembled +under one roof. By way of effectually keeping up the want of union +between us, we were not all trusted alike. I soon discovered that +Old File and Young File were much further advanced in the doctor’s +confidence than Mill, Screw, or myself. There was a locked-up room, +and a continually-closed door shutting off a back staircase, of both of +which Old File and Young File possessed keys that were never so much as +trusted in the possession of the rest of us. There was also a trap-door +in the floor of the principal workroom, the use of which was known to +nobody but the doctor and his two privileged men. If we had not been all +nearly on an equality in the matter of wages, these distinctions +would have made bad blood among us. As it was, nobody having reason +to complain of unjustly-diminished wages, nobody cared about any +preferences in which profit was not involved. + +The doctor must have gained a great deal of money by his skill as a +coiner. His profits in business could never have averaged less than five +hundred per cent; and, to do him justice, he was really a generous as +well as a rich master. + +Even I, as a new hand, was, in fair proportion, as well paid by the week +as the rest. + +We, of course, had nothing to do with the passing of false money--we +only manufactured it (sometimes at the rate of four hundred pounds’ +worth in a week); and left its circulation to be managed by our +customers in London and the large towns. Whatever we paid for in +Barkingham was paid for in the genuine Mint coinage. I used often +to compare my own true guineas, half-crowns and shillings with our +imitations under the doctor’s supervision, and was always amazed at the +resemblance. Our scientific chief had discovered a process something +like what is called electrotyping nowadays, as I imagine. He was very +proud of this; but he was prouder still of the ring of his metal, and +with reason: it must have been a nice ear indeed that could discover the +false tones in the doctor’s coinage. + +If I had been the most scrupulous man in the world, I must still have +received my wages, for the very necessary purpose of not appearing to +distinguish myself invidiously from my fellow-workmen. Upon the whole, +I got on well with them. Old File and I struck up quite a friendship. +Young File and Mill worked harmoniously with me, but Screw and I (as I +had foreboded) quarreled. + +This last man was not on good terms with his fellows, and had less of +the doctor’s confidence than any of the rest of us. Naturally not of a +sweet temper, his isolated position in the house had soured him, and he +rashly attempted to vent his ill-humor on me, as a newcomer. For some +days I bore with him patiently; but at last he got the better of my +powers of endurance; and I gave him a lesson in manners, one day, on the +educational system of Gentleman Jones. He did not return the blow, or +complain to the doctor; he only looked at me wickedly, and said: “I’ll +be even with you for that, some of these days.” I soon forgot the words +and the look. + +With Old File, as I have said, I became quite friendly. Excepting the +secrets of our prison-house, he was ready enough to talk on subjects +about which I was curious. + +He had known his present master as a young man, and was perfectly +familiar with all the events of his career. From various conversations, +at odds and ends of spare time, I discovered that Doctor Dulcifer had +begun life as a footman in a gentleman’s family; that his young mistress +had eloped with him, taking away with her every article of value that +was her own personal property, in the shape of jewelry and dresses; that +they had lived upon the sale of these things for some time; and that +the husband, when the wife’s means were exhausted, had turned +strolling-player for a year or two. Abandoning that pursuit, he had +next become a quack-doctor, first in a resident, then in a vagabond +capacity--taking a medical degree of his own conferring, and holding to +it as a good traveling title for the rest of his life. From the selling +of quack medicines he had proceeded to the adulterating of foreign +wines, varied by lucrative evening occupation in the Paris gambling +houses. On returning to his native land, he still continued to turn his +chemical knowledge to account, by giving his services to that particular +branch of our commercial industry which is commonly described as the +adulteration of commodities; and from this he had gradually risen to +the more refined pursuit of adulterating gold and silver--or, to use the +common phrase again, making bad money. + +According to Old File’s statement, though Doctor Dulcifer had never +actually ill-used his wife, he had never lived on kind terms with her: +the main cause of the estrangement between them, in later years, being +Mrs. Dulcifer’s resolute resistance to her husband’s plans for emerging +from poverty, by the simple process of coining his own money. The poor +woman still held fast by some of the principles imparted to her in +happier days; and she was devotedly fond of her daughter. At the time +of her sudden death, she was secretly making arrangements to leave +the doctor, and find a refuge for herself and her child in a foreign +country, under the care of the one friend of her family who had not cast +her off. Questioning my informant about Alicia next, I found that he +knew very little about her relations with her father in later years. +That she must long since have discovered him to be not quite so +respectable a man as he looked, and that she might suspect something +wrong was going on in the house at the present time, were, in Old File’s +opinion, matters of certainty; but that she knew anything positively on +the subject of her father’s occupations, he seemed to doubt. The doctor +was not the sort of man to give his daughter, or any other woman, the +slightest chance of surprising his secrets. + +These particulars I gleaned during one long month of servitude and +imprisonment in the fatal red-brick house. + +During all that time not the slightest intimation reached me of Alicia’s +whereabouts. Had she forgotten me? I could not believe it. Unless +the dear brown eyes were the falsest hypocrites in the world, it was +impossible that she should have forgotten me. Was she watched? Were all +means of communicating with me, even in secret, carefully removed from +her? I looked oftener and oftener into the doctor’s study as those +questions occurred to me; but he never quitted it without locking the +writing-desk first--he never left any papers scattered on the table, and +he was never absent from the room at any special times and seasons that +could be previously calculated upon. I began to despair, and to feel +in my lonely moments a yearning to renew that childish experiment of +crying, which I have already adverted to, in the way of confession. +Moralists will be glad to hear that I really suffered acute mental +misery at this time of my life. My state of depression would have +gratified the most exacting of Methodists; and my penitent face +would have made my fortune if I could only have been exhibited by a +reformatory association on the platform of Exeter Hall. + +How much longer was this to last? Whither should I turn my steps when I +regained my freedom? In what direction throughout all England should I +begin to look for Alicia? + +Sleeping and walking--working and idling--those were now my constant +thoughts. I did my best to prepare myself for every emergency that could +happen; I tried to arm myself beforehand against every possible accident +that could befall me. While I was still hard at work sharpening my +faculties and disciplining my energies in this way, an accident befell +the doctor, on the possibility of which I had not dared to calculate, +even in my most hopeful moments. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +ONE morning I was engaged in the principal workroom with my employer. We +were alone. Old File and his son were occupied in the garrets. Screw had +been sent to Barkingham, accompanied, on the usual precautionary plan, +by Mill. They had been gone nearly an hour when the doctor sent me into +the next room to moisten and knead up some plaster of Paris. While I was +engaged in this occupation, I suddenly heard strange voices in the large +workroom. My curiosity was instantly excited. I drew back the little +shutter from the peephole in the wall, and looked through it. + +I saw first my old enemy, Screw, with his villainous face much paler +than usual; next, two respectably-dressed strangers whom he appeared +to have brought into the room; and next to them Young File, addressing +himself to the doctor. + +“I beg your pardon, sir,” said my friend, the workman-like footman; “but +before these gentlemen say anything for themselves, I wish to explain, +as they seem strangers to you, that I only let them in after I had heard +them give the password. My instructions are to let anybody in on our +side of the door if they can give the password. No offense, sir, but I +want it to be understood that I have done my duty.” + +“Quite right, my man,” said the doctor, in his blandest manner. “You may +go back to your work.” + +Young File left the room, with a scrutinizing look for the two strangers +and a suspicious frown for Screw. + +“Allow us to introduce ourselves,” began the elder of the two strangers. + +“Pardon me for a moment,” interposed the doctor. “Where is Mill?” he +added, turning to Screw. + +“Doing our errands at Barkingham,” answered Screw, turning paler than +ever. + +“We happened to meet your two men, and to ask them the way to your +house,” said the stranger who had just spoken. “This man, with a caution +that does him infinite credit, required to know our business before he +told us. We managed to introduce the password--‘Happy-go-lucky’--into +our answer. This of course quieted suspicion; and he, at our request, +guided us here, leaving his fellow-workman, as he has just told you, to +do all errands at Barkingham.” + +While these words were being spoken, I saw Screw’s eyes wandering +discontentedly and amazedly round the room. He had left me in it with +the doctor before he went out: was he disappointed at not finding me in +it on his return? + +While this thought was passing through my mind, the stranger resumed his +explanations. + +“We are here,” he said, “as agents appointed to transact private +business, out of London, for Mr. Manasseh, with whom you have dealings, +I think?” + +“Certainly,” said the doctor, with a smile. + +“And who owes you a little account, which we are appointed to settle.” + +“Just so!” remarked the doctor, pleasantly rubbing his hands one over +the other. “My good friend, Mr. Manasseh, does not like to trust the +post, I suppose? Very glad to make your acquaintance, gentlemen. Have +you got the little memorandum about you?” + +“Yes; but we think there is a slight inaccuracy in it. Have you any +objection to let us refer to your ledger?” + +“Not the least in the world. Screw, go down into my private laboratory, +open the table-drawer nearest the window, and bring up a locked book, +with a parchment cover, which you will find in it.” + +As Screw obeyed I saw a look pass between him and the two strangers +which made me begin to feel a little uneasy. I thought the doctor +noticed it too; but he preserved his countenance, as usual, in a state +of the most unruffled composure. + +“What a time that fellow is gone!” he exclaimed gayly. “Perhaps I had +better go and get the book myself.” + +The two strangers had been gradually lessening the distance between +the doctor and themselves, ever since Screw had left the room. The last +words were barely out of his mouth, before they both sprang upon him, +and pinioned his arms with their hands. + +“Steady, my fine fellow,” said Mr. Manasseh’s head agent. “It’s no go. +We are Bow Street runners, and we’ve got you for coining.” + +“Not a doubt of it,” said the doctor, with the most superb coolness. +“You needn’t hold me. I’m not fool enough to resist when I’m fairly +caught.” + +“Wait till we’ve searched you; and then we’ll talk about that,” said the +runner.* + +The doctor submitted to the searching with the patience of a martyr. +No offensive weapon being found in his pockets, they allowed him to sit +down unmolested in the nearest chair. + +“Screw, I suppose?” said the doctor, looking inquiringly at the +officers. + +“Exactly,” said the principal man of the two. “We have been secretly +corresponding with him for weeks past. We have nabbed the man who went +out with him, and got him safe at Barkingham. Don’t expect Screw back +with the ledger. As soon as he has made sure that the rest of you are in +the house, he is to fetch another man or two of our Bow Street lot, who +are waiting outside till they hear from us. We only want an old man and +a young one, and a third pal of yours who is a gentleman born, to make +a regular clearance in the house. When we have once got you all, it +will be the prettiest capture that’s ever been made since I was in the +force.” + +What the doctor answered to this I cannot say. Just as the officer had +done speaking, I heard footsteps approaching the room in which I was +listening. Was Screw looking for me? I instantly closed the peephole +and got behind the door. It opened back upon me, and, sure enough, Screw +entered cautiously. + +An empty old wardrobe stood opposite the door. Evidently suspecting +that I might have taken the alarm and concealed myself inside it, he +approached it on tiptoe. On tiptoe also I followed him; and, just as his +hands were on the wardrobe door, my hands were on his throat. He was +a little man, and no match for me. I easily and gently laid him on his +back, in a voiceless and half-suffocated state--throwing myself right +over him, to keep his legs quiet. When I saw his face getting black, and +his small eyes growing largely globular, I let go with one hand, crammed +my empty plaster of Paris bag, which lay close by, into his mouth, +tied it fast, secured his hands and feet, and then left him perfectly +harmless, while I took counsel with myself how best to secure my own +safety. + +I should have made my escape at once; but for what I heard the officer +say about the men who were waiting outside. Were they waiting near or +at a distance? Were they on the watch at the front or the back of +the house? I thought it highly desirable to give myself a chance of +ascertaining their whereabouts from the talk of the officers in the +next room, before I risked the possibility of running right into their +clutches on the outer side of the door. + +I cautiously opened the peephole once more. + +The doctor appeared to be still on the most friendly terms with his +vigilant guardians from Bow Street. + +“Have you any objection to my ringing for some lunch, before we are +all taken off to London together?” I heard him ask in his most cheerful +tones. “A glass of wine and a bit of bread and cheese won’t do you any +harm, gentlemen, if you are as hungry as I am.” + +“If you want to eat and drink, order the victuals at once,” replied one +of the runners, sulkily. “We don’t happen to want anything ourselves.” + +“Sorry for it,” said the doctor. “I have some of the best old Madeira in +England.” + +“Like enough,” retorted the officer sarcastically. “But you see we are +not quite such fools as we look; and we have heard of such a thing, in +our time, as hocussed wine.” + +“O fie! fie!” exclaimed the doctor merrily. “Remember how well I am +behaving myself, and don’t wound my feelings by suspecting me of such +shocking treachery as that!” + +He moved to a corner of the room behind him, and touched a knob in the +wall which I had never before observed. A bell rang directly, which had +a new tone in it to my ears. + +“Too bad,” said the doctor, turning round again to the runners; “really +too bad, gentlemen, to suspect me of that!” + +Shaking his head deprecatingly, he moved back to the corner, pulled +aside something in the wall, disclosed the mouth of a pipe which was a +perfect novelty to me, and called down it. + +“Moses!” + +It was the first time I had heard that name in the house. + +“Who is Moses?” inquired the officers both together, advancing on him +suspiciously. + +“Only my servant,” answered the doctor. He turned once more to the pipe, +and called down it: + +“Bring up the Stilton Cheese, and a bottle of the Old Madeira.” + +The cheese we had in use at that time was of purely Dutch extraction. +I remembered Port, Sherry, and Claret in my palmy dinner-days at +the doctor’s family-table; but certainly not Old Madeira. Perhaps +he selfishly kept his best wine and his choicest cheese for his own +consumption. + +“Sam,” said one of the runners to the other, “you look to our civil +friend here, and I’ll grab Moses when he brings up the lunch.” + +“Would you like to see what the operation of coining is, while my man +is getting the lunch ready?” said the doctor. “It may be of use to me +at the trial, if you can testify that I afforded you every facility +for finding out anything you might want to know. Only mention my polite +anxiety to make things easy and instructive from the very first, and +I may get recommended to mercy. See here--this queer-looking machine, +gentlemen (from which two of my men derive their nicknames), is what we +call a Mill-and-Screw.” + +He began to explain the machine with the manner and tone of a lecturer +at a scientific institution. In spite of themselves, the officers burst +out laughing. I looked round at Screw as the doctor got deeper into his +explanations. The traitor was rolling his wicked eyes horribly at me. +They presented so shocking a sight, that I looked away again. What was I +to do next? The minutes were getting on, and I had not heard a word +yet, through the peephole, on the subject of the reserve of Bow Street +runners outside. Would it not be best to risk everything, and get away +at once by the back of the house? + +Just as I had resolved on venturing the worst, and making my escape +forthwith, I heard the officers interrupt the doctor’s lecture. + +“Your lunch is a long time coming,” said one of them. + +“Moses is lazy,” answered the doctor; “and the Madeira is in a remote +part of the cellar. Shall I ring again?” + +“Hang your ringing again!” growled the runner, impatiently. “I don’t +understand why our reserve men are not here yet. Suppose you go and give +them a whistle, Sam.” + +“I don’t half like leaving you,” returned Sam. “This learned gentleman +here is rather a shifty sort of chap; and it strikes me that two of us +isn’t a bit too much to watch him.” + +“What’s that?” exclaimed Sam’s comrade, suspiciously. + +A crash of broken crockery in the lower part of the house had followed +that last word of the cautious officer’s speech. Naturally, I could draw +no special inference from the sound; but, for all that, it filled me +with a breathless interest and suspicion, which held me irresistibly at +the peephole--though the moment before I had made up my mind to fly from +the house. + +“Moses is awkward as well as lazy,” said the doctor. “He has dropped the +tray! Oh, dear, dear me! he has certainly dropped the tray.” + +“Let’s take our learned friend downstairs between us,” suggested Sam. “I +shan’t be easy till we’ve got him out of the house.” + +“And I shan’t be easy if we don’t handcuff him before we leave the +room,” returned the other. + +“Rude conduct, gentlemen--after all that has passed, remarkably rude +conduct,” said the doctor. “May I, at least, get my hat while my hands +are at liberty? It hangs on that peg opposite to us.” He moved toward it +a few steps into the middle of the room while he spoke. + +“Stop!” said Sam; “I’ll get your hat for you. We’ll see if there’s +anything inside it or not, before you put it on.” + +The doctor stood stockstill, like a soldier at the word, Halt. + +“And I’ll get the handcuffs,” said the other runner, searching his +coat-pockets. + +The doctor bowed to him assentingly and forgivingly. + +“Only oblige me with my hat, and I shall be quite ready for you,” he +said--paused for one moment, then repeated the words, “Quite ready,” in +a louder tone--and instantly disappeared through the floor! + +I saw the two officers rush from opposite ends of the room to a great +opening in the middle of it. The trap-door on which the doctor had been +standing, and on which he had descended, closed up with a bang at the +same moment; and a friendly voice from the lower regions called out +gayly, “Good-by!” + +The officers next made for the door of the room. It had been locked from +the other side. As they tore furiously at the handle, the roll of the +wheels of the doctor’s gig sounded on the drive in front of the house; +and the friendly voice called out once more, “Good-by!” + +I waited just long enough to see the baffled officers unbarring the +window shutters for the purpose of giving the alarm, before I closed the +peephole, and with a farewell look at the distorted face of my prostrate +enemy, Screw, left the room. + +The doctor’s study-door was open as I passed it on my way downstairs. +The locked writing-desk, which probably contained the only clew to +Alicia’s retreat that I was likely to find, was in its usual place on +the table. There was no time to break it open on the spot. I rolled it +up in my apron, took it off bodily under my arm, and descended to the +iron door on the staircase. Just as I was within sight of it, it was +opened from the landing on the other side. I turned to run upstairs +again, when a familiar voice cried, “Stop!” and looking round, I beheld +Young File. + +“All right!” he said. “Father’s off with the governor in the gig, and +the runners in hiding outside are in full cry after them. If Bow Street +can get within pistol-shot of the blood mare, all I can say is, I give +Bow Street full leave to fire away with both barrels! Where’s Screw?” + +“Gagged by me in the casting-room.” + +“Well done, you! Got all your things, I see, under your arm? Wait two +seconds while I grab my money. Never mind the rumpus upstairs--there’s +nobody outside to help them; and the gate’s locked, if there was.” + +He darted past me up the stairs. I could hear the imprisoned officers +shouting for help from the top windows. Their reserve men must have been +far away, by this time, in pursuit of the gig; and there was not much +chance of their getting useful help from any stray countryman who might +be passing along the road, except in the way of sending a message to +Barkingham. Anyhow we were sure of a half hour to escape in, at the very +least. + +“Now then,” said Young File, rejoining me; “let’s be off by the back way +through the plantations. How came you to lay your lucky hands on Screw?” + he continued, when we had passed through the iron door, and had closed +it after us. + +“Tell me first how the doctor managed to make a hole in the floor just +in the nick of time.” + +“What! did you see the trap sprung?” + +“I saw everything.” + +“The devil you did! Had you any notion that signals were going on, all +the while you were on the watch? We have a regular set of them in case +of accidents. It’s a rule that father, and me, and the doctor are +never to be in the workroom together--so as to keep one of us always at +liberty to act on the signals.--Where are you going to?” + +“Only to get the gardener’s ladder to help us over the wall. Go on.” + +“The first signal is a private bell--that means, _Listen at the pipe._ +The next is a call down the pipe for ‘Moses’--that means, _Danger! Lock +the door._ ‘Stilton Cheese’ means, _Put the Mare to;_ and ‘Old Madeira’ +_Stand by the trap._ The trap works in that locked-up room you never got +into; and when our hands are on the machinery, we are awkward enough +to have a little accident with the luncheon tray. ‘Quite Ready’ is the +signal to lower the trap, which we do in the regular theater-fashion. We +lowered the doctor smartly enough, as you saw, and got out by the back +staircase. Father went in the gig, and I let them out and locked the +gates after them. Now you know as much as I’ve got breath to tell you.” + +We scaled the wall easily by the help of the ladder. When we were down +on the other side, Young File suggested that the safest course for us +was to separate, and for each to take his own way. We shook hands and +parted. He went southward, toward London, and I went westward, toward +the sea-coast, with Doctor Dulcifer’s precious writing-desk safe under +my arm. + + * The “Bow Street runners” of those days were the + predecessors of the detective police of the present time. + + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +FOR a couple of hours I walked on briskly, careless in what direction I +went, so long as I kept my back turned on Barkingham. + +By the time I had put seven miles of ground, according to my +calculations, between me and the red-brick house, I began to look upon +the doctor’s writing-desk rather in the light of an incumbrance, and +determined to examine it without further delay. Accordingly I picked up +the first large stone I could find in the road, crossed a common, burst +through a hedge, and came to a halt, on the other side, in a thick wood. +Here, finding myself well screened from public view, I broke open the +desk with the help of the stone, and began to look over the contents. + +To my unspeakable disappointment I found but few papers of any kind +to examine. The desk was beautifully fitted with all the necessary +materials for keeping up a large correspondence; but there were not +more than half a dozen letters in it altogether. Four were on business +matters, and the other two were of a friendly nature, referring to +persons and things in which I did not feel the smallest interest. I +found besides half a dozen bills receipted (the doctor was a mirror of +punctuality in the payment of tradesmen), note and letter-paper of the +finest quality, clarified pens, a pretty little pin-cushion, two small +account-books filled with the neatest entries, and some leaves +of blotting-paper. Nothing else; absolutely nothing else, in the +treacherous writing-desk on which I had implicitly relied to guide me to +Alicia’s hiding-place. + +I groaned in sheer wretchedness over the destruction of all my dearest +plans and hopes. If the Bow Street runners had come into the plantation +just as I had completed the rifling of the desk I think I should have +let them take me without making the slightest effort at escape. As it +was, no living soul appeared within sight of me. I must have sat at the +foot of a tree for full half an hour, with the doctor’s useless bills +and letters before me, with my head in my hands, and with all my +energies of body and mind utterly crushed by despair. + +At the end of the half hour, the natural restlessness of my faculties +began to make itself felt. + +Whatever may be said about it in books, no emotion in this world ever +did, or ever will, last for long together. The strong feeling may return +over and over again; but it must have its constant intervals of change +or repose. In real life the bitterest grief doggedly takes its rest and +dries its eyes; the heaviest despair sinks to a certain level, and stops +there to give hope a chance of rising, in spite of us. Even the joy of +an unexpected meeting is always an imperfect sensation, for it never +lasts long enough to justify our secret anticipations--our happiness +dwindles to mere every-day contentment before we have half done with it. + +I raised my head, and gathered the bills and letters together, and stood +up a man again, wondering at the variableness of my own temper, at the +curious elasticity of that toughest of all the vital substances within +us, which we call Hope. “Sitting and sighing at the foot of this tree,” + I thought, “is not the way to find Alicia, or to secure my own safety. +Let me circulate my blood and rouse my ingenuity, by taking to the road +again.” + +Before I forced my way back to the open side of the hedge, I thought it +desirable to tear up the bills and letters, for fear of being traced by +them if they were found in the plantation. The desk I left where it was, +there being no name on it. The note-paper and pens I pocketed--forlorn +as my situation was, it did not authorize me to waste stationery. The +blotting-paper was the last thing left to dispose of: two neatly-folded +sheets, quite clean, except in one place, where the impression of a few +lines of writing appeared. I was about to put the blotting-paper into +my pocket after the pens, when something in the look of the writing +impressed on it, stopped me. + +Four blurred lines appeared of not more than two or three words each, +running out one beyond another regularly from left to right. Had the +doctor been composing poetry and blotting it in a violent hurry? At a +first glance, that was more than I could tell. The order of the written +letters, whatever they might be, was reversed on the face of the +impression taken of them by the blotting-paper. I turned to the other +side of the leaf. The order of the letters was now right, but the +letters themselves were sometimes too faintly impressed, sometimes +too much blurred together to be legible. I held the leaf up to the +light--and there was a complete change: the blurred letters grew +clearer, the invisible connecting lines appeared--I could read the words +from first to last. + +The writing must have been hurried, and it had to all appearance been +hurriedly dried toward the corner of a perfectly clean leaf of the +blotting-paper. After twice reading, I felt sure that I had made out +correctly the following address: + +Miss Giles, 2 Zion Place, Crickgelly, N. Wales. + +It was hard under the circumstances, to form an opinion as to the +handwriting; but I thought I could recognize the character of some of +the doctor’s letters, even in the blotted impression of them. Supposing +I was right, who was Miss Giles? + +Some Welsh friend of the doctor’s, unknown to me? Probably enough. But +why not Alicia herself under an assumed name? Having sent her from home +to keep her out of my way, it seemed next to a certainty that her father +would take all possible measures to prevent my tracing her, and would, +therefore, as a common act of precaution, forbid her to travel under her +own name. Crickgelly, North Wales, was assuredly a very remote place to +banish her to; but then the doctor was not a man to do things by halves: +he knew the lengths to which my cunning and resolution were capable of +carrying me; and he would have been innocent indeed if he had hidden his +daughter from me in any place within reasonable distance of Barkingham. +Last, and not least important, Miss Giles sounded in my ears exactly +like an assumed name. + +Was there ever any woman absolutely and literally named Miss Giles? +However I may have altered my opinion on this point since, my mind was +not in a condition at that time to admit the possible existence of any +such individual as a maiden Giles. Before, therefore, I had put the +precious blotting-paper into my pocket, I had satisfied myself that +my first duty, under all the circumstances, was to shape my flight +immediately to Crickgelly. I could be certain of nothing--not even +of identifying the doctor’s handwriting by the impression on the +blotting-paper. But provided I kept clear of Barkingham, it was all +the same to me what part of the United Kingdom I went to; and, in +the absence of any actual clew to her place of residence, there was +consolation and encouragement even in following an imaginary trace. +My spirits rose to their natural height as I struck into the highroad +again, and beheld across the level plain the smoke, chimneys, and church +spires of a large manufacturing town. There I saw the welcome promise +of a coach--the happy chance of making my journey to Crickgelly easy and +rapid from the very outset. + +On my way to the town, I was reminded by the staring of all the people I +passed on the road, of one important consideration which I had hitherto +most unaccountably overlooked--the necessity of making some radical +change in my personal appearance. + +I had no cause to dread the Bow Street runners, for not one of them +had seen me; but I had the strongest possible reasons for distrusting a +meeting with my enemy, Screw. He would certainly be made use of by +the officers for the purpose of identifying the companions whom he had +betrayed; and I had the best reasons in the world to believe that he +would rather assist in the taking of me than in the capture of all the +rest of the coining gang put together--the doctor himself not excepted. +My present costume was of the dandy sort--rather shabby, but gay in +color and outrageous in cut. I had not altered it for an artisan’s suit +in the doctor’s house, because I never had any intention of staying +there a day longer than I could possibly help. The apron in which I had +wrapped the writing-desk was the only approach I had made toward wearing +the honorable uniform of the workingman. + +Would it be wise now to make my transformation complete, by adding to +the apron a velveteen jacket and a sealskin cap? No: my hands were +too white, my manners too inveterately gentleman-like, for all artisan +disguise. It would be safer to assume a serious character--to shave +off my whiskers, crop my hair, buy a modest hat and umbrella, and dress +entirely in black. At the first slopshop I encountered in the suburbs of +the town, I got a carpet-bag and a clerical-looking suit. At the first +easy shaving-shop I passed, I had my hair cropped and my whiskers taken +off. After that I retreated again to the country--walked back till I +found a convenient hedge down a lane off the highroad--changed my upper +garments behind it, and emerged, bashful, black, and reverend, with my +cotton umbrella tucked modestly under my arm, my eyes on the ground, my +head in the air, and my hat off my forehead. When I found two laborers +touching their caps to me on my way back to the town, I knew that it was +all right, and that I might now set the vindictive eyes of Screw himself +safely at defiance. + +I had not the most distant notion where I was when I reached the High +Street, and stopped at The Green Bull Hotel and Coach-office. However, +I managed to mention my modest wishes to be conveyed at once in the +direction of Wales, with no more than a becoming confusion of manner. + +The answer was not so encouraging as I could have wished. The coach to +Shrewsbury had left an hour before, and there would be no other public +conveyance running in my direct ion until the next morning. Finding +myself thus obliged to yield to adverse circumstances, I submitted +resignedly, and booked a place outside by the next day’s coach, in the +name of the Reverend John Jones. I thought it desirable to be at once +unassuming and Welsh in the selection of a traveling name; and therefore +considered John Jones calculated to fit me, in my present emergency, to +a hair. + +After securing a bed at the hotel, and ordering a frugal curate’s dinner +(bit of fish, two chops, mashed potatoes, semolina pudding, half-pint of +sherry), I sallied out to look at the town. + +Not knowing the name of it, and not daring to excite surprise by asking, +I found the place full of vague yet mysterious interest. Here I was, +somewhere in central England, just as ignorant of localities as if I had +been suddenly deposited in Central Africa. My lively fancy revelled in +the new sensation. I invented a name for the town, a code of laws +for the inhabitants, productions, antiquities, chalybeate springs, +population, statistics of crime, and so on, while I walked about the +streets, looked in at the shop-windows, and attentively examined the +Market-place and Town-hall. Experienced travelers, who have exhausted +all novelties, would do well to follow my example; they may be certain, +for one day at least, of getting some fresh ideas, and feeling a new +sensation. + +On returning to dinner in the coffee-room, I found all the London papers +on the table. + +The _Morning Post_ happened to lie uppermost, so I took it away to +my own seat to occupy the time, while my unpretending bit of fish was +frying. Glancing lazily at the advertisements on the first page, to +begin with, I was astonished by the appearance of the following lines, +at the top of a column: + + + +“If F-- --K S--FTL--Y will communicate with his distressed and alarmed +relatives, Mr. and Mrs. B--TT--RB--RY, he will hear of something to +his advantage, and may be assured that all will be once more forgiven. +A--B--LLA entreats him to write.” + + + +What, in the name of all that is most mysterious, does this mean! was my +first thought after reading the advertisement. Can Lady Malkinshaw have +taken a fresh lease of that impregnable vital tenement, at the door of +which Death has been knocking vainly for so many years past? (Nothing +more likely.) Was my felonious connection with Doctor Dulcifer +suspected? (It seemed improbable.) One thing, however, was certain: I +was missed, and the Batterburys were naturally anxious about me--anxious +enough to advertise in the public papers. + +I debated with myself whether I should answer their pathetic appeal +or not. I had all my money about me (having never let it out of my own +possession during my stay in the red-brick house), and there was plenty +of it for the present; so I thought it best to leave the alarm and +distress of my anxious relatives unrelieved for a little while longer, +and to return quietly to the perusal of the _ Morning Post._ + +Five minutes of desultory reading brought me unexpectedly to an +explanation of the advertisement, in the shape of the following +paragraph: + + + +“ALARMING ILLNESS OF LADY MALKINSHAW.--We regret to announce that this +venerable lady was seized with an alarming illness on Saturday last, +at her mansion in town. The attack took the character of a fit--of what +precise nature we have not been able to learn. Her ladyship’s medical +attendant and near relative, Doctor Softly, was immediately called +in, and predicted the most fatal results. Fresh medical attendance was +secured, and her ladyship’s nearest surviving relatives, Mrs. Softly, +and Mr. and Mrs. Batterbury, of Duskydale Park, were summoned. At +the time of their arrival her ladyship’s condition was comatose, her +breathing being highly stertorous. If we are rightly informed, Doctor +Softly and the other medical gentlemen present gave it as their opinion +that if the pulse of the venerable sufferer did not rally in the course +of a quarter of an hour at most, very lamentable results might be +anticipated. For fourteen minutes, as our reporter was informed, no +change took place; but, strange to relate, immediately afterward her +ladyship’s pulse rallied suddenly in the most extraordinary manner. She +was observed to open her eyes very wide, and was heard, to the surprise +and delight of all surrounding the couch, to ask why her ladyship’s +usual lunch of chicken-broth with a glass of Amontillado sherry was not +placed on the table as usual. These refreshments having been produced, +under the sanction of the medical gentlemen, the aged patient partook +of them with an appearance of the utmost relish. Since this happy +alteration for the better, her ladyship’s health has, we rejoice to +say, rapidly improved; and the answer now given to all friendly +and fashionable inquirers is, in the venerable lady’s own humorous +phraseology, ‘Much better than could be expected.’” + + +Well done, my excellent grandmother! my firm, my unwearied, my undying +friend! Never can I say that my case is desperate while you can swallow +your chicken-broth and sip your Amontillado sherry. The moment I want +money, I will write to Mr. Batterbury, and cut another little golden +slice out of that possible three-thousand-pound-cake, for which he has +already suffered and sacrificed so much. In the meantime, O venerable +protectress of the wandering Rogue! let me gratefully drink your health +in the nastiest and smallest half-pint of sherry this palate ever +tasted, or these eyes ever beheld! + +I went to bed that night in great spirits. My luck seemed to be +returning to me; and I began to feel more than hopeful of really +discovering my beloved Alicia at Crickgelly, under the alias of Miss +Giles. + +The next morning the Rev. John Jones descended to breakfast so rosy, +bland, and smiling, that the chambermaids simpered as he tripped by +them in the passage, and the landlady bowed graciously as he passed +her parlor door. The coach drove up, and the reverend gentleman (after +waiting characteristically for the woman’s ladder) mounted to his place +on the roof, behind the coachman. One man sat there who had got up +before him--and who should that man be, but the chief of the Bow Street +runners, who had rashly tried to take Doctor Dulcifer into custody! + +There could not be the least doubt of his identity; I should have known +his face again among a hundred. He looked at me as I took my place by +his side, with one sharp searching glance--then turned his head away +toward the road. Knowing that he had never set eyes on my face (thanks +to the convenient peephole at the red-brick house), I thought my meeting +with him was likely to be rather advantageous than otherwise. I had now +an opportunity of watching the proceedings of one of our pursuers, at +any rate--and surely this was something gained. + +“Fine morning, sir,” I said politely. + +“Yes,” he replied in the gruffest of monosyllables. + +I was not offended: I could make allowance for the feelings of a man who +had been locked up by his own prisoner. + +“Very fine morning, indeed,” I repeated, soothingly and cheerfully. + +The runner only grunted this time. Well, well! we all have our little +infirmities. I don’t think the worse of the man now, for having been +rude to me, that morning, on the top of the Shrewsbury coach. + +The next passenger who got up and placed himself by my side was a +florid, excitable, confused-looking gentleman, excessively talkative +and familiar. He was followed by a sulky agricultural youth in +top-boots--and then, the complement of passengers on our seat behind the +coachman was complete. + +“Heard the news, sir?” said the florid man, turning to me. + +“Not that I am aware of,” I answered. + +“It’s the most tremendous thing that has happened these fifty +years,” said the florid man. “A gang of coiners, sir, discovered at +Barkingham--in a house they used to call the Grange. All the dreadful +lot of bad silver that’s been about, they’re at the bottom of. And the +head of the gang not taken!--escaped, sir, like a ghost on the stage, +through a trap-door, after actually locking the runners into his +workshop. The blacksmiths from Barkingham had to break them out; the +whole house was found full of iron doors, back staircases, and all that +sort of thing, just like the Inquisition. A most respectable man, the +original proprietor! Think what a misfortune to have let his house to a +scoundrel who has turned the whole inside into traps, furnaces, and iron +doors. The fellow’s reference, sir, was actually at a London bank, where +he kept a first-rate account. What is to become of society? where is our +protection? Where are our characters, when we are left at the mercy of +scoundrels? The times are awful--upon my soul, the times we live in are +perfectly awful!” + +“Pray, sir, is there any chance of catching this coiner?” I inquired +innocently. + +“I hope so, sir; for the sake of outraged society, I hope so,” said +the excitable man. “They’ve printed handbills at Barkingham, offering +a reward for taking him. I was with my friend the mayor, early this +morning, and saw them issued. ‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘I’m going West--give +me a few copies--let me help to circulate them--for the sake of outraged +society, let me help to circulate them. Here they are--take a few, sir, +for distribution. You’ll see these are three other fellows to be +caught besides the principal rascal--one of them a scamp belonging to +a respectable family. Oh! what times! Take three copies, and pray +circulate them in three influential quarters. Perhaps that gentleman +next you would like a few. Will you take three, sir?” + +“No, I won’t,” said the Bow Street runner doggedly. “Nor yet one of +‘em--and it’s my opinion that the coining-gang would be nabbed all the +sooner, if you was to give over helping the law to catch them.” + +This answer produced a vehement expostulation from my excitable +neighbor, to which I paid little attention, being better engaged in +reading the handbill. + +It described the doctor’s personal appearance with remarkable accuracy, +and cautioned persons in seaport towns to be on the lookout for him. Old +File, Young File, and myself were all dishonorably mentioned together +in a second paragraph, as runaways of inferior importance Not a word was +said in the handbill to show that the authorities at Barkingham even so +much as suspected the direction in which any one of us had escaped. This +would have been very encouraging, but for the presence of the runner +by my side, which looked as if Bow Street had its suspicions, however +innocent Barkingham might be. + +Could the doctor have directed his flight toward Crickgelly? I trembled +internally as the question suggested itself to me. Surely he would +prefer writing to Miss Giles to join him when he got to a safe place of +refuge, rather than encumber himself with the young lady before he was +well out of reach of the far-stretching arm of the law. This seemed +infinitely the most natural course of conduct. Still, there was the +runner traveling toward Wales--and not certainly without a special +motive. I put the handbills in my pocket, and listened for any hints +which might creep out in his talk; but he perversely kept silent. +The more my excitable neighbor tried to dispute with him, the more +contemptuously he refused to break silence. I began to feel vehemently +impatient for our arrival at Shrewsbury; for there only could I hope to +discover something more of my formidable fellow-traveler’s plans. + +The coach stopped for dinner; and some of our passengers left us, the +excitable man with the handbills among the number. I got down, and stood +on the doorstep of the inn, pretending to be looking about me, but in +reality watching the movements of the runner. + +Rather to my surprise, I saw him go to the door of the coach and speak +to one of the inside passengers. After a short conversation, of which I +could not hear one word, the runner left the coach door and entered +the inn, called for a glass of brandy and water, and took it out to +his friend, who had not left the vehicle. The friend bent forward to +receive it at the window. I caught a glimpse of his face, and felt my +knees tremble under me--it was Screw himself! + +Screw, pale and haggard-looking, evidently not yet recovered from the +effect of my grip on his throat! Screw, in attendance on the runner, +traveling inside the coach in the character of an invalid. He must be +going this journey to help the Bow Street officers to identify some one +of our scattered gang of whom they were in pursuit. It could not be the +doctor--the runner could discover him without assistance from anybody. +Why might it not be me? + +I began to think whether it would be best to trust boldly in my +disguise, and my lucky position outside the coach, or whether I should +abandon my fellow-passengers immediately. It was not easy to settle at +once which course was the safest--so I tried the effect of looking at my +two alternatives from another point of view. Should I risk everything, +and go on resolutely to Crickgelly, on the chance of discovering that +Alicia and Miss Giles were one and the same person--or should I give up +on the spot the only prospect of finding my lost mistress, and direct my +attention entirely to the business of looking after my own safety? + +As the latter alternative practically resolved itself into the simple +question of whether I should act like a man who was in love, or like a +man who was not, my natural instincts settled the difficulty in no time. +I boldly imitated the example of my fellow-passengers, and went in to +dinner, determined to go on afterward to Crickgelly, though all Bow +Street should be following at my heels. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +SECURE as I tried to feel in my change of costume, my cropped hair, and +my whiskerless cheeks, I kept well away from the coach-window, when the +dinner at the inn was over and the passengers were called to take their +places again. Thus far--thanks to the strength of my grasp on his +neck, which had left him too weak to be an outside passenger--Screw had +certainly not seen me; and, if I played my cards properly, there was no +reason why he should see me before we got to our destination. + +Throughout the rest of the journey I observed the strictest caution, and +fortune seconded my efforts. It was dark when we got to Shrewsbury. On +leaving the coach I was enabled, under cover of the night, to keep a +sharp watch on the proceedings of Screw and his Bow Street ally. They +did not put up at the hotel, but walked away to a public house. There, +my clerical character obliged me to leave them at the door. + +I returned to the hotel, to make inquiries about conveyances. + +The answers informed me that Crickgelly was a little fishing-village, +and that there was no coach direct to it, but that two coaches running +to two small Welsh towns situated at nearly equal distances from my +destination, on either side of it, would pass through Shrewsbury +the next morning. The waiter added, that I could book a +place--conditionally--by either of these vehicles; and that, as they +were always well-filled, I had better be quick in making my choice +between them. Matters had now arrived at such a pass, that nothing was +left for me but to trust to chance. If I waited till the morning to see +whether Screw and the Bow Street runner traveled in my direction, and to +find out, in case they did, which coach they took, I should be running +the risk of losing a place for myself, and so delaying my journey for +another day. This was not to be thought of. I told the waiter to book me +a place in which coach he pleased. The two were called respectively The +Humming Bee, and The Red Cross Knight. The waiter chose the latter. + +Sleep was not much in my way that night. I rose almost as early as Boots +himself--breakfasted--then sat at the coffee-room window looking out +anxiously for the two coaches. + +Nobody seemed to agree which would pass first. Each of the inn servants +of whom I inquired made it a matter of partisanship, and backed his +favorite coach with the most consummate assurance. At last, I heard the +guard’s horn and the clatter of the horses’ hoofs. Up drove a coach--I +looked out cautiously--it was the Humming Bee. Three outside places were +vacant; one behind the coachman; two on the dickey. The first was taken +immediately by a farmer, the second---to my unspeakable disgust and +terror--was secured by the inevitable Bow Street runner; who, as soon as +h e was up, helped the weakly Screw into the third place, by his side. +They were going to Crickgelly; not a doubt of it, now. + +I grew mad with impatience for the arrival of the Red Cross Knight. +Half-an-hour passed--forty minutes--and then I heard another horn and +another clatter--and the Red Cross Knight rattled up to the hotel door +at full speed. What if there should be no vacant place for me! I ran +to the door with a sinking heart. Outside, the coach was declared to be +full. + +“There is one inside place,” said the waiter, “if you don’t mind paying +the--” + +Before he could say the rest, I was occupying that one inside place. I +remember nothing of the journey from the time we left the hotel door, +except that it was fearfully long. At some hour of the day with which I +was not acquainted (for my watch had stopped for want of winding up), I +was set down in a clean little street of a prim little town (the name of +which I never thought of asking), and was told that the coach never went +any further. + +No post-chaise was to be had. With incredible difficulty I got first a +gig, then a man to drive it; and, last, a pony to draw it. We hobbled +away crazily from the inn door. I thought of Screw and the Bow Street +runner approaching Crickgelly, from their point of the compass, perhaps +at the full speed of a good post-chaise--I thought of that, and would +have given all the money in my pocket for two hours’ use of a fast +road-hack. + +Judging by the time we occupied in making the journey, and a little also +by my own impatience, I should say that Crickgelly must have been at +least twenty miles distant from the town where I took the gig. The sun +was setting, when we first heard, through the evening stillness, the +sound of the surf on the seashore. The twilight was falling as we +entered the little fishing village, and let our unfortunate pony stop, +for the last time, at a small inn door. + +The first question I asked of the landlord was, whether two gentlemen +(friends of mine, of course, whom I expected to meet) had driven into +Crickgelly, a little while before me. The reply was in the negative; +and the sense of relief it produced seemed to rest me at once, body and +mind, after my long and anxious journey. Either I had beaten the spies +on the road, or they were not bound to Crickgelly. Any way, I had first +possession of the field of action. I paid the man who had driven me, and +asked my way to Zion Place. My directions were simple--I had only to go +through the village, and I should find Zion Place at the other end of +it. + +The village had a very strong smell, and a curious habit of building +boats in the street between intervals of detached cottages; a helpless, +muddy, fishy little place. I walked through it rapidly; turned inland +a few hundred yards; ascended some rising ground; and discerned, in the +dim twilight, four small lonesome villas standing in pairs, with a shed +and a saw-pit on one side, and a few shells of unfinished houses on +the other. Some madly speculative builder was evidently trying to turn +Crickgelly into a watering-place. + +I made out Number Two, and discovered the bell-handle with difficulty, +it was growing so dark. A servant-maid--corporeally enormous; but, as I +soon found, in a totally undeveloped state, mentally--opened the door. + +“Does Miss Giles live here?” I asked. + +“Don’t see no visitors,” answered the large maiden. “‘T’other one tried +it and had to go away. You go, too.” + +“‘T’othor one?” I repeated. “Another visitor? And when did he call?” + +“Better than an hour ago.” + +“Was there nobody with him?” + +“No. Don’t see no visitors. He went. You go, too.” + +Just as she repeated that exasperating formula of words, a door opened +at the end of the passage. My voice had evidently reached the ears of +somebody in the back parlor. Who the person was I could not see, but I +heard the rustle of a woman’s dress. My situation was growing desperate, +my suspicions were aroused--I determined to risk everything--and I +called softly in the direction of the open door, “Alicia!” + +A voice answered, “Good heavens! Frank?” It was _her_ voice. She had +recognized mine. I pushed past the big servant; in two steps I was at +the end of the passage; in one more I was in the back parlor. + +She was there, standing alone by the side of a table. Seeing my changed +costume and altered face, she turned deadly pale, and stretched her hand +behind her mechanically, as if to take hold of a chair. I caught her +in my arms; but I was afraid to kiss her--she trembled so when I only +touched her. + +“Frank!” she said, drawing her head back. “What is it? How did you find +out? For mercy’s sake what does it mean?” + +“It means, love, that I’ve come to take care of you for the rest of your +life and mine, if you will only let me. Don’t tremble--there’s nothing +to be afraid of! Only compose yourself, and I’ll tell you why I am here +in this strange disguise. Come, come, Alicia!--don’t look like that at +me. You called me Frank just now, for the first time. Would you have +done that, if you had disliked me or forgotten me?” + +I saw her color beginning to come back--the old bright glow returning to +the dear dusky cheeks. If I had not seen them so near me, I might have +exercised some self-control--as it was, I lost my presence of mind +entirely, and kissed her. + +She drew herself away half-frightened, half-confused--certainly not +offended, and, apparently, not very likely to faint--which was more than +I could have said of her when I first entered the room. Before she had +time to reflect on the peril and awkwardness of our position, I pressed +the first necessary questions on her rapidly, one after the other. + +“Where is Mrs. Baggs?” I asked first. + +Mrs. Baggs was the housekeeper. + +Alicia pointed to the closed folding-doors. “In the front parlor; asleep +on the sofa.” + +“Have you any suspicion who the stranger was who called more than an +hour ago?” + +“None. The servant told him we saw no visitors, and he went away, +without leaving his name.” + +“Have you heard from your father?” + +She began to turn pale again, but controlled herself bravely, and +answered in a whisper: + +“Mrs. Baggs had a short note from him this morning. It was not dated; +and it only said circumstances had happened which obliged him to leave +home suddenly, and that we were to wait here till be wrote again, most +likely in a few days.” + +“Now, Alicia,” I said, as lightly as I could, “I have the highest +possible opinion of your courage, good-sense, and self-control; and I +shall expect you to keep up your reputation in my eyes, while you are +listening to what I have to tell you.” + +Saying these words, I took her by the hand and made her sit close by me; +then, breaking it to her as gently and gradually as possible, I told her +all that had happened at the red-brick house since the evening when +she left the dinner-table, and we exchanged our parting look at the +dining-room door. + +It was almost as great a trial to me to speak as it was to her to hear. +She suffered so violently, felt such evident misery of shame and terror, +while I was relating the strange events which had occurred in her +absence, that I once or twice stopped in alarm, and almost repented my +boldness in telling her the truth. However, fair-dealing with her, cruel +as it might seem at the time, was the best and safest course for the +future. How could I expect her to put all her trust in me if I began +by deceiving her--if I fell into prevarications and excuses at the very +outset of our renewal of intercourse? I went on desperately to the end, +taking a hopeful view of the most hopeless circumstances, and making my +narrative as mercifully short as possible. + +When I had done, the poor girl, in the extremity of her forlornness +and distress, forgot all the little maidenly conventionalities and +young-lady-like restraints of everyday life--and, in a burst of natural +grief and honest confiding helplessness, hid her face on my bosom, and +cried there as if she were a child again, and I was the mother to whom +she had been used to look for comfort. + +I made no attempt to stop her tears--they were the safest and best vent +for the violent agitation under which she was suffering. I said nothing; +words, at such a ti me as that, would only have aggravated her distress. +All the questions I had to ask; all the proposals I had to make, must, +I felt, be put off--no matter at what risk--until some later and calmer +hour. There we sat together, with one long unsnuffed candle lighting +us smokily; with the discordantly-grotesque sound of the housekeeper’s +snoring in the front room, mingling with the sobs of the weeping girl on +my bosom. No other noise, great or small, inside the house or out of it, +was audible. The summer night looked black and cloudy through the little +back window. + +I was not much easier in my mind, now that the trial of breaking my bad +news to Alicia was over. That stranger who had called at the house an +hour before me, weighed on my spirits. It could not have been Doctor +Dulcifer. He would have gained admission. Could it be the Bow Street +runner, or Screw? I had lost sight of them, it is true; but had they +lost sight of me? + +Alicia’s grief gradually exhausted itself. She feebly raised her head, +and, turning it away from me, hid her face. I saw that she was not fit +for talking yet, and begged her to go upstairs to the drawing-room and +lie down a little. She looked apprehensively toward the folding-doors +that shut us off from the front parlor. + +“Leave Mrs. Baggs to me,” I said. “I want to have a few words with her; +and, as soon as you are gone, I’ll make noise enough here to wake her.” + +Alicia looked at me inquiringly and amazedly. I did not speak again. +Time was now of terrible importance to us--I gently led her to the door. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +As soon as I was alone, I took from my pocket one of the handbills which +my excitable fellow-traveler had presented to me, so as to have it ready +for Mrs. Baggs the moment we stood face to face. Armed with this ominous +letter of introduction, I kicked a chair down against the folding-doors, +by way of giving a preliminary knock to arouse the housekeeper’s +attention. The plan was immediately successful. Mrs. Baggs opened the +doors of communication violently. A slight smell of spirits entered +the room, and was followed close by the housekeeper herself, with an +indignant face and a disordered head-dress. + +“What do you mean, sir? How dare you--” she began; then stopped aghast, +looking at me in speechless astonishment. + +“I have been obliged to make a slight alteration in my personal +appearance, ma’am,” I said. “But I am still Frank Softly.” + +“Don’t talk to me about personal appearances, sir,” cried Mrs. +Baggs recovering. “What do you mean by being here? Leave the house +immediately. I shall write to the doctor, Mr. Softly, this very night.” + +“He has no address you can direct to,” I rejoined. “If you don’t believe +me, read that.” I gave her the handbill without another word of preface. + +Mrs. Baggs looked at it--lost in an instant some of the fine color +plentifully diffused over her face by sleep and spirits--sat down in the +nearest chair with a thump that seemed to threaten the very foundations +of Number Two, Zion Place--and stared me hard in the face; the most +speechless and helpless elderly female I ever beheld. + +“Take plenty of time to compose yourself ma’am,” I said. “If you don’t +see the doctor again soon, under the gallows, you will probably not have +the pleasure of meeting with him for some considerable time.” + +Mrs. Baggs smote both her hands distractedly on her knees, and whispered +a devout ejaculation to herself softly. + +“Allow me to deal with you, ma’am, as a woman of the world,” I went on. +“If you will give me half-an-hour’s hearing, I will explain to you how +I come to know what I do; how I got here; and what I have to propose to +Miss Alicia and to you.” + +“If you have the feelings of a man, sir,” said Mrs. Baggs, shaking her +head and raising her eyes to heaven, “you will remember that I have +nerves, and will not presume upon them.” + +As the old lady uttered the last words, I thought I saw her eyes turn +from heaven, and take the earthly direction of the sofa in the front +parlor. It struck me also that her lips looked rather dry. Upon these +two hints I spoke. + +“Might I suggest some little stimulant?” I asked, with respectful +earnestness. “I have heard my grandmother (Lady Malkinshaw) say that, ‘a +drop in time saves nine.’” + +“You will find it under the sofa pillow,” said Mrs. Baggs, with sudden +briskness. “‘A drop in time saves nine’--my sentiments, if I may put +myself on a par with her ladyship. The liqueur-glass, Mr. Softly, is +in the backgammon-board. I hope her ladyship was well the last time you +heard from her? Suffers from her nerves, does she? Like me, again. In +the backgammon-board. Oh, this news, this awful news!” + +I found the bottle of brandy in the place indicated, but no +liqueur-glass in the backgammon-board. There was, however, a wine-glass, +accidentally left on a chair by the sofa. Mrs. Baggs did not seem to +notice the difference when I brought it into the back room and filled it +with brandy. + +“Take a toothful yourself,” said Mrs. Baggs, lightly tossing off the +dram in a moment. “‘A drop in time’--I can’t help repeating it, it’s +so nicely expressed. Still, with submission to her ladyship’s better +judgment, Mr. Softly, the question seems now to arise, whether, if one +drop in time saves nine, two drops in time may not save eighteen.” Here +Mrs. Baggs forgot her nerves and winked. I returned the wink and filled +the glass a second time. “Oh, this news, this awful news!” said Mrs. +Baggs, remembering her nerves again. + +Just then I thought I heard footsteps in front of the house, but, +listening more attentively, found that it had begun to rain, and that I +had been deceived by the pattering of the first heavy drops against +the windows. However, the bare suspicion that the same stranger who had +called already might be watching the house now, was enough to startle +me very seriously, and to suggest the absolute necessity of occupying +no more precious time in paying attention to the vagaries of Mrs. Baggs’ +nerves. It was also of some importance that I should speak to her while +she was sober enough to understand what I meant in a general way. + +Feeling convinced that she was in imminent danger of becoming downright +drunk if I gave her another glass, I kept my hand on the bottle, and +forthwith told my story over again in a very abridged and unceremonious +form, and without allowing her one moment of leisure for comment on +my narrative, whether it might be of the weeping, winking, drinking, +groaning, or ejaculating kind. As I had anticipated, when I came to a +conclusion, and consequently allowed her an opportunity of saying a few +words, she affected to be extremely shocked and surprised at hearing of +the nature of her master’s pursuits, and reproached me in terms of +the most vehement and virtuous indignation for incurring the guilt of +abetting them, even though I had done so from the very excusable motive +of saving my own life. Having a lively sense of the humorous, I was +necessarily rather amused by this; but I began to get a little surprised +as well, when we diverged to the subject of the doctor’s escape, on +finding that Mrs. Baggs viewed the fact of his running away to some +hiding-place of his own in the light of a personal insult to his +faithful and attached housekeeper. + +“It shows a want of confidence in me,” said the old lady, “which I +may forgive, but can never forget. The sacrifices I have made for that +ungrateful man are not to be told in words. The very morning he sent +us away here, what did I do? Packed up the moment he said Go. I had my +preserves to pot, and the kitchen chimney to be swept, and the lock of +my box hampered into the bargain. Other women in my place would have +grumbled--I got up directly, as lively as any girl of eighteen you like +to mention. Says he, ‘I want Alicia taken out of young Softly’s way, +and you must do it.’---Says I, ‘This very morning, sir?’--Says he, ‘This +very morning.’--Says I, ‘Where to?’--Says he, ‘As far off as ever you +can go; coast of Wales--Crickgelly. I won’t trust her nearer; young +Softly’s too cunning, and she’s too fond of him.’--‘Any more orders, +sir?’ says I.--‘Yes; take some fancy name--Simkins, Johnson, Giles, +Jones, James,’ says he, ‘what you like bu t Dulcifer; for that scamp +Softly will move heaven and earth to trace her.’--‘What else?’ says +I.--‘Nothing, but look sharp,’ says he; ‘and mind one thing, that she +sees no visitors, and posts no letters.’ Before those last words had +been out of his wicked lips an hour, we were off. A nice job I had to +get her away--a nice job to stop her from writing letters to you--a nice +job to keep her here. But I did it; I followed my orders like a slave +in a plantation with a whip at his bare back. I’ve had rheumatics, weak +legs, bad nights, and miss in the sulks--all from obeying the doctor’s +orders. And what is my reward? He turns coiner, and runs away without a +word to me beforehand, and writes me a trumpery note, without a date to +it, without a farthing of money in it, telling me nothing! Look at my +confidence in him, and then look at the way he’s treated me in return. +What woman’s nerves can stand that? Don’t keep fidgeting with the +bottle! Pass it this way, Mr. Softly, or you’ll break it, and drive me +distracted.” + +“He has no excuse, ma’am,” I said. “But will you allow me to change the +subject, as I am pressed for time? You appear to be so well acquainted +with the favorable opinion which Miss Alicia and I entertain of each +other, that I hope it will be no fresh shock to your nerves, if I inform +you, in plain words, that I have come to Crickgelly to marry her.” + +“Marry her! marry--If you don’t leave off fidgeting with the bottle, Mr. +Softly, and change the subject directly, I shall ring the bell.” + +“Hear me out, ma’am, and then ring if you like. If you persist, however, +in considering yourself still the confidential servant of a felon who is +now flying for his life, and if you decline allowing the young lady to +act as she wishes, I will not be so rude as to hint that--as she is of +age--she may walk out of this house with me, whenever she likes, without +your having the power to prevent her; but, I will politely ask instead, +what you would propose to do with her, in the straitened position as to +money in which she and you are likely to be placed? You can’t find +her father to give her to; and, if you could, who would be the best +protector for her? The doctor, who is the principal criminal in the eye +of the law, or I, who am only the unwilling accomplice? He is known to +the Bow Street runners--I am not. There is a reward for the taking of +him, and none for the taking of me. He has no respectable relatives +and friends, I have plenty. Every way my chances are the best; and +consequently I am, every way, the fittest person to trust her to. Don’t +you see that?” + +Mrs. Baggs did not immediately answer. She snatched the bottle out of +my hands--drank off another dram, shook her head at me, and ejaculated +lamentably: “My nerves, my nerves! what a heart of stone he must have to +presume on my poor nerves!” + +“Give me one minute more,” I went on. “I propose to take you and Alicia +to-morrow morning to Scotland. Pray don’t groan! I only suggest the +journey with a matrimonial object. In Scotland, Mrs. Baggs, if a man and +woman accept each other as husband and wife, before one witness, it is a +lawful marriage; and that kind of wedding is, as you see plainly enough, +the only safe refuge for a bridegroom in my situation. If you consent to +come with us to Scotland, and serve as witness to the marriage, I shall +be delighted to acknowledge my sense of your kindness in the eloquent +language of the Bank of England, as expressed to the world in general on +the surface of a five-pound note.” + +I cautiously snatched away the brandy bottle as I spoke, and was in the +drawing-room with it in an instant. As I suppose, Mrs. Baggs tried to +follow me, for I heard the door rattle, as if she had got out of her +chair, and suddenly slipped back into it again. I felt certain of her +deciding to help us, if she was only sober enough to reflect on what I +had said to her. The journey to Scotland was a tedious, and perhaps a +dangerous, undertaking. But I had no other alternative to choose. + +In those uncivilized days, the Marriage Act had not been passed, and +there was no convenient hymeneal registrar in England to change a +vagabond runaway couple into a respectable man and wife at a moment’s +notice. The trouble and expense of taking Mrs. Baggs with us, I +encountered, of course, solely out of regard for Alicia’s natural +prejudices. She had led precisely that kind of life which makes +any woman but a bad one morbidly sensitive on the subject of small +proprieties. If she had been a girl with a recognized position in +society, I should have proposed to her to run away with me alone. As it +was, the very defenselessness of her situation gave her, in my opinion, +the right to expect from me even the absurdest sacrifices to the +narrowest conventionalities. Mrs. Baggs was not quite so sober in her +habits, perhaps, as matrons in general are expected to be; but, for my +particular purpose, this was only a slight blemish; it takes so little, +after all, to represent the abstract principle of propriety in the +short-sighted eye of the world. + +As I reached the drawing-room door, I looked at my watch. + +Nine o’clock! and nothing done yet to facilitate our escaping from +Crickgelly to the regions of civilized life the next morning. I was +pleased to hear, when I knocked at the door, that Alicia’s voice sounded +firmer as she told me to come in. She was more confused than astonished +or frightened when I sat down by her on the sofa, and repeated the +principal topics of my conversion with Mrs. Baggs. + +“Now, my own love,” I said, in conclusion--suiting my gestures, it is +unnecessary to say, to the tenderness of my language--“there is not +the least doubt that Mrs. Baggs will end by agreeing to my proposals. +Nothing remains, therefore, but for you to give me the answer now, which +I have been waiting for ever since that last day when we met by the +riverside. I did not know then what the motive was for your silence and +distress. I know now, and I love you better after that knowledge than I +did before it.” + +Her head dropped into its former position on my bosom, and she murmured +a few words, but too faintly for me to hear them. + +“You knew more about your father, then, than I did?” I whispered. + +“Less than you have told me since,” she interposed quickly, without +raising her face. + +“Enough to convince you that he was breaking the laws,” I suggested; +“and, to make you, as his daughter, shrink from saying ‘yes’ to me when +we sat together on the river bank?” + +She did not answer. One of her arms, which was hanging over my shoulder, +stole round my neck, and clasped it gently. + +“Since that time,” I went on, “your father has compromised me. I am in +some danger, not much, from the law. I have no prospects that are not +of the most doubtful kind; and I have no excuse for asking you to share +them, except that I have fallen into my present misfortune through +trying to discover the obstacle that kept us apart. If there is any +protection in the world that you can turn to, less doubtful than mine, I +suppose I ought to say no more, and leave the house. But if there should +be none, surely I am not so very selfish in asking you to take your +chance with me? I honestly believe that I shall have little difficulty, +with ordinary caution, in escaping from pursuit, and finding a safe home +somewhere to begin life in again with new interests. Will you share +it with me, Alicia? I can try no fresh persuasions---I have no right, +perhaps, in my present situation to have addressed so many to you +already.” + +Her other arm stole round my neck; she laid her cheek against mine, and +whispered-- + +“Be kind to me, Frank--I have nobody in the world who loves me but you!” + +I felt her tears on my face; my own eyes moistened as I tried to answer +her. We sat for some minutes in perfect silence--without moving, without +a thought beyond the moment. The rising of the wind, and the splashing +of the rain outside were the first sounds that stirred me into action +again. + +I summoned my resolution, rose from the sofa, and in a few hasty words +told Alicia what I proposed for the next day, and mentioned the hour at +which I would come in the morning. As I had anticipated, she seemed +relieved and reassured at the prospect even of such slight sanction and +encouragement, on the part of another woman, as would be implied by the +companionship of Mrs. Baggs on the journey to Scotland. + +The next and last difficulty I had to encounter was necessarily +connected with her father. He had never been very affectionate; and +he was now, for aught she or I knew to the contrary, parted from her +forever. Still, the instinctive recognition of his position made her +shrink, at the last moment, when she spoke of him, and thought of the +serious nature of her engagement with me. After some vain arguing and +remonstrating, I contrived to quiet her scruples, by promising that an +address should be left at Crickgelly, to which any second letter that +might arrive from the doctor could be forwarded. When I saw that this +prospect of being able to communicate with him, if he wrote or wished to +see her, had sufficiently composed her mind, I left the drawing-room. +It was vitally important that I should get back to the inn and make the +necessary arrangements for our departure the next morning, before the +primitive people of the place had retired to bed. + +As I passed the back parlor door on my way out, I heard the voice of +Mrs. Baggs raised indignantly. The words “bottle!” “audacity!” and +“nerves!” reached my ear disjointedly. I called out “Good-by! till +to-morrow;” heard a responsive groan of disgust; then opened the front +door, and plunged out into the dark and rainy night. + +It might have been the dropping of water from the cottage roofs while I +passed through the village, or the groundless alarm of my own suspicious +fancy, but I thought I was being followed as I walked back to the inn. +Two or three times I turned round abruptly. If twenty men had been at my +heels, it was too dark to see them. I went on to the inn. + +The people there were not gone to bed; and I sent for the landlord to +consult with him about a conveyance. Perhaps it was my suspicious fancy +again; but I thought his manner was altered. He seemed half distrustful, +half afraid of me, when I asked him if there had been any signs, during +my absence, of those two gentlemen, for whom I had already inquired on +arriving at his door that evening. He gave an answer in the negative, +looking away from me while he spoke. + +Thinking it advisable, on the whole, not to let him see that I noticed +a change in him, I proceeded at once to the question of the conveyance, +and was told that I could hire the landlord’s light cart, in which he +was accustomed to drive to the market town. I appointed an hour for +starting the next day, and retired at once to my bedroom. There my +thoughts were enough. I was anxious about Screw and the Bow Street +runner. I was uncertain about the stranger who had called at Number Two, +Zion Place. I was in doubt even about the landlord of the inn. Never did +I know what real suffering from suspense was, until that night, Whatever +my apprehensions might have been, they were none of them realized the +next morning. + +Nobody followed me on my way to Zion Place, and no stranger had called +there before me a second time, when I made inquiries on entering the +house. I found Alicia blushing, and Mrs. Baggs impenetrably wrapped up +in dignified sulkiness. After informing me with a lofty look that +she intended to go to Scotland with us, and to take my five-pound +note--partly under protest, and partly out of excessive affection for +Alicia--she retired to pack up. The time consumed in performing this +process, and the further delay occasioned by paying small outstanding +debts to tradespeople, and settling with the owner of the house, +detained us till nearly noon before we were ready to get into the +landlord’s cart. + +I looked behind me anxiously at starting, and often afterward on the +road; but never saw anything to excite my suspicions. In settling +matters with the landlord over night, I had arranged that we should be +driven to the nearest town at which a post-chaise could be obtained. +My resources were just as likely to hold out against the expenses of +posting, where public conveyances could not be obtained, as against the +expense of waiting privately at hotels, until the right coaches might +start. According to my calculations, my money would last till we got +to Scotland. After that, I had my watch, rings, shirtpin, and Mr. +Batterbury, to help in replenishing my purse. Anxious, therefore, as I +was about other things, money matters, for once in a way, did not cause +me the smallest uneasiness. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +WE posted five-and-thirty miles, then stopped for a couple of hours to +rest, and wait for a night coach running northward. + +On getting into this vehicle we were fortunate enough to find the fourth +inside place not occupied. Mrs. Baggs showed her sense of the freedom +from restraint thus obtained by tying a huge red comforter round her +head like a turban, and immediately falling fast asleep. This gave +Alicia and me full liberty to talk as we pleased. Our conversation was +for the most part of that particular kind which is not of the smallest +importance to any third person in the whole world. One portion of it, +however, was an exception to this general rule. It had a very positive +influence on my fortunes, and it is, therefore, I hope, of sufficient +importance to bear being communicated to the reader. + +We had changed horses for the fourth time, had seated ourselves +comfortably in our places, and had heard Mrs. Baggs resume the kindred +occupations of sleeping and snoring, when Alicia whispered to me: + +“I must have no secrets, now, from you--must I, Frank?” + +“You must have anything you like, do anything you like, and say anything +you like. You must never ask leave--but only grant it!” + +“Shall you always tell me that, Frank?” + +I did not answer in words, but the conversation suffered a momentary +interruption. Of what nature, susceptible people will easily imagine. As +for the hard-hearted I don’t write for them. + +“My secret need not alarm you,” Alicia went on, in tones that began to +sound rather sadly; “it is only about a tiny pasteboard box that I can +carry in the bosom of my dress. But it has got three diamonds in it, +Frank, and one beautiful ruby. Did you ever give me credit for having so +much that was valuable about me?--shall I give it you to keep for me?” + +I remembered directly Old File’s story of Mrs. Dulcifer’s elopement, and +of the jewels she had taken with her. It was easy to guess, after what I +had heard, that the poor woman had secretly preserved some of her little +property for the benefit of her child. + +“I have no present need of money, darling,” I answered; “keep the box in +its present enviable position.” I stopped there, saying nothing of the +thought that was really uppermost in my mind. If any unforeseen accident +placed me within the grip of the law, I should not now have the double +trial to endure of leaving my wife for a prison, and leaving her +helpless. + +Morning dawned and found us still awake. The sun rose, Mrs. Baggs left +off snoring, and we arrived at the last stage before the coach stopped. + +I got out to see about some tea for my traveling companions, and looked +up at the outside passengers. One of them seated in the dickey looked +down at me. He was a countryman in a smock-frock, with a green patch +over one of his eyes. Something in the expression of his uncovered eye +made me pause--reflect--turn away uneasily--and then look again at him +furtively. A sudden shudder ran through me from top to toe; my heart +sank; and my head began to feel giddy. The countryman in the dickey was +no other than the Bow Street runner in disguise. + +I kept away from the coach till the fresh horses were on the point of +starting, for I was afraid to let Alicia see my face, after making that +fatal discovery. She noticed how pale I was when I got in. I made the +best excuse I could; and gently insisted on her trying to sleep a little +after being awake all night. She lay back in her corner; and Mrs. Baggs, +comforted with a morning dram in her tea, fell asleep again. I had thus +an hour’s leisure before me to think what I should do next. + +Screw was not in company with the runner this time. He must have managed +to identify me somewhere, and the officer doubtless knew my personal +appearance well enough now to follow and make sure of me without help. +That I was the man whom he was tracking could not be doubted: his +disguise and his position on the top of the coach proved it only too +plainly. + +But why had he not seized me at once? Probably because he had some +ulterior purpose to serve, which would have been thwarted by my +immediate apprehension. What that purpose was I did my best to fathom, +and, as I thought, succeeded in the attempt. What I was to do when the +coach stopped was a more difficult point to settle. To give the runner +the slip, with two women to take care of, was simply impossible. To +treat him, as I had treated Screw at the red-brick house, was equally +out of the question, for he was certain to give me no chance of catching +him alone. To keep him in ignorance of the real object of my journey, +and thereby to delay his discovering himself and attempting to make me a +prisoner, seemed the only plan on the safety of which I could place the +smallest reliance. If I had ever had any idea of following the example +of other runaway lovers, and going to Gretna Green, I should now have +abandoned it. All roads in that direction would betray what the purpose +of my journey was if I took them. Some large town in Scotland would be +the safest destination that I could publicly advertise myself as +bound for. Why not boldly say that I was going with the two ladies to +Edinburgh? + +Such was the plan of action which I now adopted. + +To give any idea of the distracted condition of my mind at the time when +I was forming it, is simply impossible. As for doubting whether I ought +to marry at all under these dangerous circumstances, I must frankly +own that I was too selfishly and violently in love to look the question +fairly in the face at first. When I subsequently forced myself to +consider it, the most distinct project I could frame for overcoming all +difficulty was, to marry myself (the phrase is strictly descriptive of +the Scotch ceremony) at the first inn we came to, over the Border; to +hire a chaise, or take places in a public conveyance to Edinburgh, as +a blind; to let Alicia and Mrs. Baggs occupy those places; to remain +behind myself; and to trust to my audacity and cunning, when left alone, +to give the runner the slip. Writing of it now, in cool blood, this +seems as wild and hopeless a plan as ever was imagined. But, in the +confused and distracted state of all my faculties at that period, it +seemed quite easy to execute, and not in the least doubtful as to any +one of its probable results. + +On reaching the town at which the coach stopped, we found ourselves +obliged to hire another chaise for a short distance, in order to get to +the starting-point of a second coach. Again we took inside places, +and again, at the first stages when I got down to look at the outside +passengers, there was the countryman with the green shade over his +eye. Whatever conveyance we traveled by on our northward road, we never +escaped him. He never attempted to speak to me, never seemed to notice +me, and never lost sight of me. On and on we went, over roads that +seemed interminable, and still the dreadful sword of justice hung +always, by its single hair, over my head. My haggard face, my feverish +hands, my confused manner, my inexpressible impatience, all belied the +excuses with which I desperately continued to ward off Alicia’s growing +fears, and Mrs. Baggs’s indignant suspicions. “Oh! Frank, something has +happened! For God’s sake, tell me what!”--“Mr. Softly, I can see through +a deal board as far as most people. You are following the doctor’s +wicked example, and showing a want of confidence in me.” These were the +remonstrances of Alicia and the housekeeper. + +At last we got out of England, and I was still a free man. The chaise +(we were posting again) brought us into a dirty town, and drew up at the +door of a shabby inn. A shock-headed girl received us. + +“Are we in Scotland?” I asked. + +“Mon! whar’ else should ye be?” The accent relieved me of all doubt. + +“A private room--something to eat, ready in an hour’s time--chaise +afterward to the nearest place from which a coach runs to Edinburgh.” + Giving these orders rapidly, I followed the girl with my traveling +companions into a stuffy little room. As soon as our attendant had left +us, I locked the door, put the key in my pocket, and took Alicia by the +hand. + +“Now, Mrs. Baggs,” said I, “bear witness--” + +“You’re not going to marry her now!” interposed Mrs. Baggs, indignantly. +“Bear witness, indeed! I won’t bear witness till I’ve taken off my +bonnet, and put my hair tidy!” + +“The ceremony won’t take a minute,” I answered; “and I’ll give you your +five-pound note and open the door the moment it’s over. Bear witness,” + I went on, drowning Mrs. Baggs’s expostulations with the all-important +marriage-words, “that I take this woman, Alicia Dulcifer for my lawful +wedded wife.” + +“In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth,” broke in Mrs. Baggs, +determining to represent the clergyman as well as to be the witness. + +“Alicia, dear,” I said, interrupting in my turn, “repeat my words. Say +‘I take this man, Francis Softly, for my lawful wedded husband.’” + +She repeated the sentence, with her face very pale, with her dear hand +cold and trembling in mine. + +“For better for worse,” continued the indomitable Mrs. Baggs. “Little +enough of the Better, I’m afraid, and Lord knows how much of the Worse.” + +I stopped her again with the promised five-pound note, and opened the +room door. “Now, ma’am,” I said, “go to your room; take off your bonnet, +and put your hair as tidy as you please.” + +Mrs. Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven, exclaimed “Disgraceful!” + and flounced out of the room in a passion. Such was my Scotch +marriage--as lawful a ceremony, remember, as the finest family wedding +at the largest parish church in all England. + +An hour passed; and I had not yet summoned the cruel courage to +communicate my real situation to Alicia. The entry of the shock-headed +servant-girl to lay the cloth, followed by Mrs. Baggs, who was never out +of the way where eating and drinking appeared in prospect, helped me to +rouse myself. I resolved to go out for a few minutes to reconnoiter, and +make myself acquainted with any facilities for flight or hiding which +the situation of the house might present. No doubt the Bow Street runner +was lurking somewhere; but he must, as a matter of course, have +heard, or informed himself, of the orders I had given relating to our +conveyance on to Edinburgh; and, in that case, I was still no more in +danger of his avowing himself and capturing me, than I had been at any +previous period of our journey. + +“I am going out for a moment, love, to see about the chaise,” I said +to Alicia. She suddenly looked up at me with an anxious searching +expression. Was my face betraying anything of my real purpose? I hurried +to the door before she could ask me a single question. + +The front of the inn stood nearly in the middle of the principal street +of the town. No chance of giving any one the slip in that direction; and +no sign, either, of the Bow Street runner. I sauntered round, with the +most unconcerned manner I could assume, to the back of the house, by the +inn yard. A door in one part of it stood half-open. Inside was a bit of +kitchen-garden, bounded by a paling; beyond that some backs of detached +houses; beyond them, again, a plot of weedy ground, a few wretched +cottages, and the open, heathery moor. Good enough for running away, but +terribly bad for hiding. + +I returned disconsolately to the inn. Walking along the passage toward +the staircase, I suddenly heard footsteps behind me--turned round, and +saw the Bow Street runner (clothed again in his ordinary costume, and +accompanied by two strange men) standing between me and the door. + +“Sorry to stop you from going to Edinburgh, Mr. Softly,” he said. “But +you’re wanted back at Barkingham. I’ve just found out what you have been +traveling all the way to Scotland for; and I take you prisoner, as one +of the coining gang. Take it easy, sir. I’ve got help, you see; and you +can’t throttle three men, whatever you may have done at Barkingham with +one.” + +He handcuffed me as he spoke. Resistance was hopeless. I could only make +an appeal to his mercy, on Alicia’s account. + +“Give me ten minutes,” I said, “to break what has happened to my wife. +We were only married an hour ago. If she knows this suddenly, it may be +the death of her.” + +“You’ve led me a nice dance on a wrong scent,” answered the runner, +sulkily. “But I never was a hard man where women are concerned. Go +upstairs, and leave the door open, so that I can see in through it if I +like. Hold your hat over your wrists, if you don’t want her to see the +handcuffs.” + +I ascended the first flight of stairs, and my heart gave a sudden bound +as if it would burst. I stopped, speechless and helpless, at the sight +of Alicia, standing alone on the landing. My first look at her face told +me she had heard all that had passed in the passage. She passionately +struck the hat with which I had been trying to hide the handcuffs out +of my fingers, and clasped me in her arms with such sudden and desperate +energy that she absolutely hurt me. + +“I was afraid of something, Frank,” she whispered. “I followed you a +little way. I stopped here; I have heard everything. Don’t let us be +parted! I am stronger than you think me. I won’t be frightened. I won’t +cry. I won’t trouble anybody, if that man will only take me with you!” + +It is best for my sake, if not for the reader’s, to hurry over the scene +that followed. + +It ended with as little additional wretchedness as could be expected. +The runner was resolute about keeping me handcuffed, and taking me +back, without a moment’s unnecessary waste of time to Barkingham; but he +relented on other points. + +Where he was obliged to order a private conveyance, there was no +objection to Alicia and Mrs. Baggs following it. Where we got into a +coach, there was no harm in their hiring two inside places. I gave my +watch, rings, and last guinea to Alicia, enjoining her, on no account, +to let her box of jewels see the light until we could get proper advice +on the best means of turning them to account. She listened to these and +other directions with a calmness that astonished me. + +“You shan’t say, my dear, that your wife has helped to make you uneasy +by so much as a word or a look,” she whispered to me as we left the inn. + +And she kept the hard promise implied in that one short sentence +throughout the journey. Once only did I see her lose her +self-possession. At starting on our way south, Mrs. Baggs--taking the +same incomprehensible personal offense at my misfortune which she +had previously taken at the doctor’s--upbraided me with my want of +confidence in her, and declared that it was the main cause of all my +present trouble. Alicia turned on her as she was uttering the words, +with a look and a warning that silenced her in an instant: + +“If you say another syllable that isn’t kind to him, you shall find your +way back by yourself!” + +The words may not seem of much importance to others; but I thought, as +I overheard them, that they justified every sacrifice I had made for my +wife’s sake. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +ON our way back I received from the runner some explanation of his +apparently unaccountable proceedings in reference to myself. + +To begin at the beginning, it turned out that the first act of the +officers, on their release from the workroom in the red-brick house, +was to institute a careful search for papers in the doctor’s study and +bedroom. Among the other documents that he had not had time to destroy, +was a letter to him from Alicia, which they took from one of the pockets +of his dressing-gown. Finding, from the report of the men who had +followed the gig, that he had distanced all pursuit, and having +therefore no direct clew to his whereabout, they had been obliged to +hunt after him in various directions, on pure speculation. Alicia’s +letter to her father gave the address of the house at Crickgelly; and to +this the runner repaired, on the chance of intercepting or discovering +any communications which the doctor might make to his daughter, Screw +being taken with the officer to identify the young lady. After leaving +the last coach, they posted to within a mile of Crickgelly, and then +walked into the village, in order to excite no special attention, +should the doctor be lurking in the neighborhood. The runner had tried +ineffectually to gain admission as a visitor at Zion Place. After having +the door shut on him, he and Screw had watched the house and village, +and had seen me approach Number Two. Their suspicions were directly +excited. + +Thus far, Screw had not recognized, nor even observed me; but he +immediately identified me by my voice, while I was parleying with the +stupid servant at the door. The runner, hearing who I was, reasonably +enough concluded that I must be the recognized medium of communication +between the doctor and his daughter, especially when he found that I was +admitted, instantly after calling, past the servant, to some one inside +the house. + +Leaving Screw on the watch, he went to the inn, discovered himself +privately to the landlord, and made sure (in more ways than one, as +I conjectured) of knowing when, and in what direction, I should leave +Crickgelly. On finding that I was to leave it the next morning, with +Alicia and Mrs. Baggs, he immediately suspected that I was charged with +the duty of taking the daughter to, or near, the place chosen for +the father’s retreat; and had therefore abstained from interfering +prematurely with my movements. Knowing whither we were bound in the +cart, he had ridden after us, well out of sight, with his countryman’s +disguise ready for use in the saddle-bags--Screw, in case of any +mistakes or mystifications, being left behind on the watch at +Crickgelly. + +The possibility that I might be running away with Alicia had suggested +itself to him; but he dismissed it as improbable, first when he saw +that Mrs. Baggs accompanied us, and again, when, on nearing Scotland, he +found that we did not take the road to Gretna Green. He acknowledged, in +conclusion, that he should have followed us to Edinburgh, or even to +the Continent itself, on the chance of our leading him to the doctor’s +retreat, but for the servant girl at the inn, who had listened outside +the door while our brief marriage ceremony was proceeding, and from +whom, with great trouble and delay, he had extracted all the information +he required. A further loss of half an hour’s time had occurred while +he was getting the necessary help to assist him, in the event of my +resisting, or trying to give him the slip, in making me a prisoner. +These small facts accounted for the hour’s respite we had enjoyed at the +inn, and terminated the runner’s narrative of his own proceedings. + +On arriving at our destination I was, of course, immediately taken to +the jail. + +Alicia, by my advice, engaged a modest lodging in a suburb of +Barkingham. In the days of the red-brick house, she had seldom been seen +in the town, and she was not at all known by sight in the suburb. We +arranged that she was to visit me as often as the authorities would let +her. She had no companion, and wanted none. Mrs. Baggs, who had never +forgiven the rebuke administered to her at the starting-point of our +journey, left us at the close of it. Her leave-taking was dignified and +pathetic. She kindly informed Alicia that she wished her well, though +she could not conscientiously look upon her as a lawful married woman; +and she begged me (in case I got off), the next time I met with a +respectable person who was kind to me, to profit by remembering my past +errors, and to treat my next benefactress with more confidence than I +had treated her. + +My first business in the prison was to write to Mr. Batterbury. + +I had a magnificent ease to present to him, this time. Although I +believed myself, and had succeeded in persuading Alicia, that I was sure +of being recommended to mercy, it was not the less the fact that I was +charged with an offense still punishable by death, in the then barbarous +state of the law. I delicately stated just enough of my case to make +one thing clear to the mind of Mr. Batterbury. My affectionate sister’s +interest in the contingent reversion was now ( unless Lady Malkinshaw +perversely and suddenly expired) actually threatened by the Gallows! + +While calmly awaiting the answer, I was by no means without subjects +to occupy my attention when Alicia was not at the prison. There was +my fellow-workman--Mill--(the first member of our society betrayed by +Screw) to compare notes with; and there was a certain prisoner who +had been transported, and who had some very important and interesting +particulars to communicate, relative to life and its chances in our +felon-settlements at the Antipodes. I talked a great deal with this man; +for I felt that his experience might be of the greatest possible benefit +to me. + +Mr. Batterbury’s answer was speedy, short, and punctual. I had shattered +his nervous system forever, he wrote, but had only stimulated his +devotion to my family, and his Christian readiness to look pityingly on +my transgressions. He had engaged the leader of the circuit to defend +me; and he would have come to see me, but for Mrs. Batterbury; who had +implored him not to expose himself to agitation. Of Lady Malkinshaw the +letter said nothing; but I afterward discovered that she was then at +Cheltenham, drinking the waters and playing whist in the rudest health +and spirits. + +It is a bold thing to say, but nothing will ever persuade me that +Society has not a sneaking kindness for a Rogue. + +For example, my father never had half the attention shown to him in his +own house, which was shown to me in my prison. I have seen High +Sheriffs in the great world, whom my father went to see, give him two +fingers--the High Sheriff of Barkinghamshire came to see me, and shook +hands cordially. Nobody ever wanted my father’s autograph--dozens of +people asked for mine. Nobody ever put my father’s portrait in the +frontispiece of a magazine, or described his personal appearance +and manners with anxious elaboration, in the large type of a great +newspaper--I enjoyed both those honors. Three official individuals +politely begged me to be sure and make complaints if my position was +not perfectly comfortable. No official individual ever troubled his head +whether my father was comfortable or not. When the day of my trial came, +the court was thronged by my lovely countrywomen, who stood up panting +in the crowd and crushing their beautiful dresses, rather than miss the +pleasure of seeing the dear Rogue in the dock. When my father once stood +on the lecturer’s rostrum, and delivered his excellent discourse, called +“Medical Hints to Maids and Mothers on Tight Lacing and Teething,” the +benches were left empty by the ungrateful women of England, who were not +in the slightest degree anxious to feast their eyes on the sight of +a learned adviser and respectable man. If these facts led to one +inevitable conclusion, it is not my fault. We Rogues are the spoiled +children of Society. We may not be openly acknowledged as Pets, but we +all know, by pleasant experience, that we are treated like them. + +The trial was deeply affecting. My defense--or rather my +barrister’s--was the simple truth. It was impossible to overthrow +the facts against us; so we honestly owned that I got into the scrape +through love for Alicia. My counsel turned this to the best possible +sentimental account. He cried; the ladies cried; the jury cried; the +judge cried; and Mr. Batterbury, who had desperately come to see the +trial, and know the worst, sobbed with such prominent vehemence, that I +believe him, to this day, to have greatly influenced the verdict. I +was strongly recommended to mercy and got off with fourteen years’ +transportation. The unfortunate Mill, who was tried after me, with a +mere dry-eyed barrister to defend him, was hanged. + +POSTSCRIPT. + +WITH the record of my sentence of transportation, my life as a Rogue +ends, and my existence as a respectable man begins. I am sorry to say +anything which may disturb popular delusions on the subject of poetical +justice, but this is strictly the truth. + +My first anxiety was about my wife’s future. + +Mr. Batterbury gave me no chance of asking his advice after the trial. +The moment sentence had been pronounced, he allowed himself to be helped +out of court in a melancholy state of prostration, and the next morning +he left for London. I suspect he was afraid to face me, and nervously +impatient, besides, to tell Annabella that he had saved the legacy +again by another alarming sacrifice. My father and mother, to whom I had +written on the subject of Alicia, were no more to be depended on than +Mr. Batterbury. My father, in answering my letter, told me that he +conscientiously believed he had done enough in forgiving me for throwing +away an excellent education, and disgracing a respectable name. He added +that he had not allowed my letter for my mother to reach her, out +of pitying regard for her broken health and spirits; and he ended by +telling me (what was perhaps very true) that the wife of such a son as +I had been, had no claim upon her father-in-law’s protection and help. +There was an end, then, of any hope of finding resources for Alicia +among the members of my own family. + +The next thing was to discover a means of providing for her without +assistance. I had formed a project for this, after meditating over my +conversations with the returned transport in Barkingham jail, and I had +taken a reliable opinion on the chances of successfully executing my +design from the solicitor who had prepared my defense. + +Alicia herself was so earnestly in favor of assisting in my experiment, +that she declared she would prefer death to its abandonment. +Accordingly, the necessary preliminaries were arranged; and, when we +parted, it was some mitigation of our grief to know that there was a +time appointed for meeting again. Alicia was to lodge with a distant +relative of her mother’s in a suburb of London; was to concert measures +with this relative on the best method of turning her jewels into money; +and was to follow her convict husband to the Antipodes, under a feigned +name, in six months’ time. + +If my family had not abandoned me, I need not have thus left her to help +herself. As it was, I had no choice. One consolation supported me at +parting--she was in no danger of persecution from her father. A second +letter from him had arrived at Crickgelly, and had been forwarded to the +address I had left for it. It was dated Hamburg, and briefly told her to +remain at Crickgelly, and expect fresh instructions, explanations, and +a supply of money, as soon as he had settled the important business +matters which had taken him abroad. His daughter answered the letter, +telling him of her marriage, and giving him an address at a post-office +to write to, if he chose to reply to her communication. There the matter +rested. + +What was I to do on my side? Nothing but establish a reputation for mild +behavior. I began to manufacture a character for myself for the first +days of our voyage out in the convict-ship; and I landed at the penal +settlement with the reputation of being the meekest and most biddable of +felonious mankind. + +After a short probationary experience of such low convict employments +as lime-burning and road-mending, I was advanced to occupations more in +harmony with my education. Whatever I did, I never neglected the first +great obligation of making myself agreeable and amusing to everybody. My +social reputation as a good fellow began to stand as high at one end of +the world as ever it stood at the other. The months passed more +quickly than I had dared to hope. The expiration of my first year of +transportation was approaching, and already pleasant hints of my being +soon assigned to private service began to reach my ears. This was the +first of the many ends I was now working for; and the next pleasant +realization of my hopes that I had to expect, was the arrival of Alicia. + +She came, a month later than I had anticipated; safe and blooming, +with five hundred pounds as the produce of her jewels, and with the +old Crickgelly alias (changed from Miss to Mrs. Giles), to prevent any +suspicions of the connection between us. + +Her story (concocted by me before I left England) was, that she was a +widow lady, who had come to settle in Australia, and make the most of +her little property in the New World. One of the first things Mrs. Giles +wanted was necessarily a trustworthy servant, and she had to make her +choice of one among the convicts of good character, to be assigned to +private service. Being one of that honorable body myself at the time, +it is needless to say that I was the fortunate man on whom Mrs. Giles’s +choice fell. The first situation I got in Australia was as servant to my +own wife. + +Alicia made a very indulgent mistress. + +If she had been mischievously inclined, she might, by application to a +magistrate, have had me flogged or set to work in chains on the roads, +whenever I became idle or insubordinate, which happened occasionally. +But instead of complaining, the kind creature kissed and made much of +her footman by stealth, after his day’s work. She allowed him no female +followers, and only employed one woman-servant occasionally, who was +both old and ugly. The name of the footman was Dear in private, and +Francis in company; and when the widowed mistress, upstairs, refused +eligible offers of marriage (which was pretty often), the favored +domestic in the kitchen was always informed of it, and asked, with the +sweetest humility, if he approved of the proceeding. + +Not to dwell on this anomalous period of my existence, let me say +briefly that my new position with my wife was of the greatest advantage +in enabling me to direct in secret the profitable uses to which her +little fortune was put. + +We began in this way with an excellent speculation in cattle--buying +them for shillings and selling them for pounds. With the profits thus +obtained, we next tried our hands at houses--first buying in a small +way, then boldly building, and letting again and selling to great +advantage. While these speculations were in progress, my behavior in +my wife’s service was so exemplary, and she gave me so excellent a +character when the usual official inquiries were instituted, that I +soon got the next privilege accorded to persons in my situation--a +ticket-of-leave. By the time this had been again exchanged for a +conditional pardon (which allowed me to go about where I pleased in +Australia, and to trade in my own name like any unconvicted merchant) +our house-property had increased enormously, our land had been sold for +public buildings, and we had shares in the famous Emancipist’s Bank, +which produced quite a little income of themselves. + +There was now no need to keep the mask on any longer. + +I went through the superfluous ceremony of a second marriage with +Alicia; took stores in the city; built a villa in the country; and +here I am at this present moment of writing, a convict aristocrat--a +prosperous, wealthy, highly respectable mercantile man, with two years +of my sentence of transportation still to expire. I have a barouche and +two bay horses, a coachman and page in neat liveries, three charming +children, and a French governess, a boudoir and lady’s-maid for my wife. +She is as handsome as ever, but getting a little fat. So am I, as a +worthy friend remarked when I recently appeared holding the plate, at +our last charity sermon. + +What would my surviving relatives and associates in England say, if they +could see me now? I have heard of them at different times and through +various channels. Lady Malkinshaw, after living to the verge of +a hundred, and surviving all sorts of accidents, died quietly one +afternoon, in her chair, with an empty dish before her, and without +giving the slightest notice to anybody. Mr. Batterbury, having +sacrificed so much to his wife’s reversion, profited nothing by its +falling in at last. His quarrels with my amiable sister--which took +their rise from his interested charities toward me--ended in producing a +separation. And, far from saving anything by Annabella’s inheritance of +her pin-money, he had a positive loss to put up with, in the shape +of some hundreds extracted yearly from his income, as alimony to his +uncongenial wife. He is said to make use of shocking language whenever +my name is mentioned, and to wish that he had been carried off by the +yellow fever before he ever set eyes on the Softly family. + +My father has retired from practice. He and my mother have gone to live +in the country, near the mansion of the only marquis with whom my father +was actually and personally acquainted in his professional days. The +marquis asks him to dinner once a year, and leaves a card for my mother +before he returns to town for the season. A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw +hangs in the dining-room. In this way, my parents are ending their days +contentedly. I can honestly say that I am glad to hear it. + +Doctor Dulcifer, when I last heard of him, was editing a newspaper in +America. Old File, who shared his flight, still shares his fortunes, +being publisher of his newspaper. Young File resumed coining operations +in London; and, having braved his fate a second time, threaded his way, +in due course, up to the steps of the scaffold. Screw carries on the +profitable trade of informer, in London. The dismal disappearance of +Mill I have already recorded. + +So much on the subject of my relatives and associates. On the subject +of myself, I might still write on at considerable length. But while the +libelous title of “A ROGUE’S LIFE” stares me in the face at the top +of the page, how can I, as a rich and reputable man, be expected to +communicate any further autobiographical particulars, in this place, +to a discerning public of readers? No, no, my friends! I am no longer +interesting--I am only respectable like yourselves. It is time to say +“Good-by.” + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Rogue’s Life, by Wilkie Collins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE’S LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 1588-0.txt or 1588-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/8/1588/ + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/1588-0.zip b/1588-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7aa8028 --- /dev/null +++ b/1588-0.zip diff --git a/1588-h.zip b/1588-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3e079a0 --- /dev/null +++ b/1588-h.zip diff --git a/1588-h/1588-h.htm b/1588-h/1588-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..66f6fdd --- /dev/null +++ b/1588-h/1588-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,6071 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + A Rogue's Life, by Wilkie Collins + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Rogue's Life, by Wilkie Collins + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Rogue's Life + +Author: Wilkie Collins + +Release Date: February 21, 2006 [EBook #1588] +Last Updated: September 11, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE'S LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + A ROGUE’S LIFE + </h1> + <h2> + by Wilkie Collins + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> INTRODUCTORY WORDS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> A ROGUE’S LIFE. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI. </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + INTRODUCTORY WORDS. + </h2> + <p> + The following pages were written more than twenty years since, and were + then published periodically in <i>Household Words.</i> + </p> + <p> + In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably received. + Year after year, I delayed the republication, proposing, at the suggestion + of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, to enlarge the present sketch of the + hero’s adventures in Australia. But the opportunity of carrying out this + project has proved to be one of the lost opportunities of my life. I + republish the story with its original conclusion unaltered, but with such + occasional additions and improvements as will, I hope, render it more + worthy of attention at the present time. + </p> + <p> + The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost boisterous gayety + in certain parts of these imaginary Confessions. I can only plead, in + defense, that the story offers the faithful reflection of a very happy + time in my past life. It was written at Paris, when I had Charles Dickens + for a near neighbor and a daily companion, and when my leisure hours were + joyously passed with many other friends, all associated with literature + and art, of whom the admirable comedian, Regnier, is now the only + survivor. The revising of these pages has been to me a melancholy task. I + can only hope that they may cheer the sad moments of others. The Rogue may + surely claim two merits, at least, in the eyes of the new generation—he + is never serious for two moments together; and he “doesn’t take long to + read.” W. C. + </p> + <p> + GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, <i>March</i> 6th, 1879. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + A ROGUE’S LIFE. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. + </h2> + <p> + I AM going to try if I can’t write something about myself. My life has + been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly useful or + respectable; but it has been, in some respects, adventurous; and that may + give it claims to be read, even in the most prejudiced circles. I am an + example of some of the workings of the social system of this illustrious + country on the individual native, during the early part of the present + century; and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I should like to + quote myself for the edification of my countrymen. + </p> + <p> + Who am I. + </p> + <p> + I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this world + with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a grandmother, her + ladyship’s daughter for a mother, and Francis James Softly, Esq., M. D. + (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a father. I put my father last, + because he was not so well connected as my mother, and my grandmother + first, because she was the most nobly-born person of the three. I have + been, am still, and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not + abandoned enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this + account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my feelings as + to expect me to say much about my mother’s brother. That inhuman person + committed an outrage on his family by making a fortune in the soap and + candle trade. I apologize for mentioning him, even in an accidental way. + The fact is, he left my sister, Annabella, a legacy of rather a peculiar + kind, saddled with certain conditions which indirectly affected me; but + this passage of family history need not be produced just yet. I apologize + a second time for alluding to money matters before it was absolutely + necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and reputable subject, by saying + a word or two more about my father. + </p> + <p> + I am rather afraid that Doctor Softly was not a clever medical man; for in + spite of his great connections, he did not get a very magnificent practice + as a physician. + </p> + <p> + As a general practitioner, he might have bought a comfortable business, + with a house and snug surgery-shop attached; but the son-in-law of Lady + Malkinshaw was obliged to hold up his head, and set up his carriage, and + live in a street near a fashionable square, and keep an expensive and + clumsy footman to answer the door, instead of a cheap and tidy housemaid. + How he managed to “maintain his position” (that is the right phrase, I + think), I never could tell. His wife did not bring him a farthing. When + the honorable and gallant baronet, her father, died, he left the widowed + Lady Malkinshaw with her worldly affairs in a curiously involved state. + Her son (of whom I feel truly ashamed to be obliged to speak again so + soon) made an effort to extricate his mother—involved himself in a + series of pecuniary disasters, which commercial people call, I believe, + transactions—struggled for a little while to get out of them in the + character of an independent gentleman—failed—and then + spiritlessly availed himself of the oleaginous refuge of the soap and + candle trade. His mother always looked down upon him after this; but + borrowed money of him also—in order to show, I suppose, that her + maternal interest in her son was not quite extinct. My father tried to + follow her example—in his wife’s interests, of course; but the + soap-boiler brutally buttoned up his pockets, and told my father to go + into business for himself. Thus it happened that we were certainly a poor + family, in spite of the fine appearance we made, the fashionable street we + lived in, the neat brougham we kept, and the clumsy and expensive footman + who answered our door. + </p> + <p> + What was to be done with me in the way of education? + </p> + <p> + If my father had consulted his means, I should have been sent to a cheap + commercial academy; but he had to consult his relationship to Lady + Malkinshaw; so I was sent to one of the most fashionable and famous of the + great public schools. I will not mention it by name, because I don’t think + the masters would be proud of my connection with it. I ran away three + times, and was flogged three times. I made four aristocratic connections, + and had four pitched battles with them: three thrashed me, and one I + thrashed. I learned to play at cricket, to hate rich people, to cure + warts, to write Latin verses, to swim, to recite speeches, to cook kidneys + on toast, to draw caricatures of the masters, to construe Greek plays, to + black boots, and to receive kicks and serious advice resignedly. Who will + say that the fashionable public school was of no use to me after that? + </p> + <p> + After I left school, I had the narrowest escape possible of intruding + myself into another place of accommodation for distinguished people; in + other words, I was very nearly being sent to college. Fortunately for me, + my father lost a lawsuit just in the nick of time, and was obliged to + scrape together every farthing of available money that he possessed to pay + for the luxury of going to law. If he could have saved his seven + shillings, he would certainly have sent me to scramble for a place in the + pit of the great university theater; but his purse was empty, and his son + was not eligible therefore for admission, in a gentlemanly capacity, at + the doors. + </p> + <p> + The next thing was to choose a profession. + </p> + <p> + Here the Doctor was liberality itself, in leaving me to my own devices. I + was of a roving adventurous temperament, and I should have liked to go + into the army. But where was the money to come from, to pay for my + commission? As to enlisting in the ranks, and working my way up, the + social institutions of my country obliged the grandson of Lady Malkinshaw + to begin military life as an officer and gentleman, or not to begin it at + all. The army, therefore, was out of the question. The Church? Equally out + of the question: since I could not pay for admission to the prepared place + of accommodation for distinguished people, and could not accept a + charitable free pass, in consequence of my high connections. The Bar? I + should be five years getting to it, and should have to spend two hundred a + year in going circuit before I had earned a farthing. Physic? This really + seemed the only gentlemanly refuge left; and yet, with the knowledge of my + father’s experience before me, I was ungrateful enough to feel a secret + dislike for it. It is a degrading confession to make; but I remember + wishing I was not so highly connected, and absolutely thinking that the + life of a commercial traveler would have suited me exactly, if I had not + been a poor gentleman. Driving about from place to place, living jovially + at inns, seeing fresh faces constantly, and getting money by all this + enjoyment, instead of spending it—what a life for me, if I had been + the son of a haberdasher and the grandson of a groom’s widow! + </p> + <p> + While my father was uncertain what to do with me, a new profession was + suggested by a friend, which I shall repent not having been allowed to + adopt, to the last day of my life. This friend was an eccentric old + gentleman of large property, much respected in our family. One day, my + father, in my presence, asked his advice about the best manner of starting + me in life, with due credit to my connections and sufficient advantage to + myself. + </p> + <p> + “Listen to my experience,” said our eccentric friend, “and, if you are a + wise man, you will make up your mind as soon as you have heard me. I have + three sons. I brought my eldest son up to the Church; he is said to be + getting on admirably, and he costs me three hundred a year. I brought my + second son up to the Bar; he is said to be getting on admirably, and he + costs me four hundred a year. I brought my third son up to <i>Quadrilles</i>—he + has married an heiress, and he costs me nothing.” + </p> + <p> + Ah, me! if that worthy sage’s advice had only been followed—if I had + been brought up to Quadrilles!—if I had only been cast loose on the + ballrooms of London, to qualify under Hymen, for a golden degree! Oh! you + young ladies with money, I was five feet ten in my stockings; I was great + at small-talk and dancing; I had glossy whiskers, curling locks, and a + rich voice! Ye girls with golden guineas, ye nymphs with crisp bank-notes, + mourn over the husband you have lost among you—over the Rogue who + has broken the laws which, as the partner of a landed or fund-holding + woman, he might have helped to make on the benches of the British + Parliament! Oh! ye hearths and homes sung about in so many songs—written + about in so many books—shouted about in so many speeches, with + accompaniment of so much loud cheering: what a settler on the hearth-rug; + what a possessor of property; what a bringer-up of a family, was snatched + away from you, when the son of Dr. Softly was lost to the profession of + Quadrilles! + </p> + <p> + It ended in my resigning myself to the misfortune of being a doctor. + </p> + <p> + If I was a very good boy and took pains, and carefully mixed in the best + society, I might hope in the course of years to succeed to my father’s + brougham, fashionably-situated house, and clumsy and expensive footman. + There was a prospect for a lad of spirit, with the blood of the early + Malkinshaws (who were Rogues of great capacity and distinction in the + feudal times) coursing adventurous through every vein! I look back on my + career, and when I remember the patience with which I accepted a medical + destiny, I appear to myself in the light of a hero. Nay, I even went + beyond the passive virtue of accepting my destiny—I actually + studied, I made the acquaintance of the skeleton, I was on friendly terms + with the muscular system, and the mysteries of Physiology dropped in on me + in the kindest manner whenever they had an evening to spare. + </p> + <p> + Even this was not the worst of it. I disliked the abstruse studies of my + new profession; but I absolutely hated the diurnal slavery of qualifying + myself, in a social point of view, for future success in it. My fond + medical parent insisted on introducing me to his whole connection. I went + round visiting in the neat brougham—with a stethoscope and medical + review in the front-pocket, with Doctor Softly by my side, keeping his + face well in view at the window—to canvass for patients, in the + character of my father’s hopeful successor. Never have I been so ill at + ease in prison, as I was in that carriage. I have felt more at home in the + dock (such is the natural depravity and perversity of my disposition) than + ever I felt in the drawing-rooms of my father’s distinguished patrons and + respectable friends. Nor did my miseries end with the morning calls. I was + commanded to attend all dinner-parties, and to make myself agreeable at + all balls. The dinners were the worst trial. Sometimes, indeed, we + contrived to get ourselves asked to the houses of high and mighty + entertainers, where we ate the finest French dishes and drank the oldest + vintages, and fortified ourselves sensibly and snugly in that way against + the frigidity of the company. Of these repasts I have no hard words to + say; it is of the dinners we gave ourselves, and of the dinners which + people in our rank of life gave to us, that I now bitterly complain. + </p> + <p> + Have you ever observed the remarkable adherence to set forms of speech + which characterizes the talkers of arrant nonsense! Precisely the same + sheepish following of one given example distinguishes the ordering of + genteel dinners. + </p> + <p> + When we gave a dinner at home, we had gravy soup, turbot and + lobster-sauce, haunch of mutton, boiled fowls and tongue, lukewarm + oyster-patties and sticky curry for side-dishes; wild duck, + cabinet-pudding, jelly, cream and tartlets. All excellent things, except + when you have to eat them continually. We lived upon them entirely in the + season. Every one of our hospitable friends gave us a return dinner, which + was a perfect copy of ours—just as ours was a perfect copy of + theirs, last year. They boiled what we boiled, and we roasted what they + roasted. We none of us ever changed the succession of the courses—or + made more or less of them—or altered the position of the fowls + opposite the mistress and the haunch opposite the master. My stomach used + to quail within me, in those times, when the tureen was taken off and the + inevitable gravy-soup smell renewed its daily acquaintance with my + nostrils, and warned me of the persistent eatable formalities that were + certain to follow. I suppose that honest people, who have known what it is + to get no dinner (being a Rogue, I have myself never wanted for one), have + gone through some very acute suffering under that privation. It may be + some consolation to them to know that, next to absolute starvation, the + same company-dinner, every day, is one of the hardest trials that assail + human endurance. I date my first serious determination to throw over the + medical profession at the earliest convenient opportunity, from the second + season’s series of dinners at which my aspirations, as a rising physician, + unavoidably and regularly condemned me to be present. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. + </h2> + <p> + THE opportunity I wanted presented itself in a curious way, and led, + unexpectedly enough, to some rather important consequences. + </p> + <p> + I have already stated, among the other branches of human attainment which + I acquired at the public school, that I learned to draw caricatures of the + masters who were so obliging as to educate me. I had a natural faculty for + this useful department of art. I improved it greatly by practice in secret + after I left school, and I ended by making it a source of profit and + pocket money to me when I entered the medical profession. What was I to + do? I could not expect for years to make a halfpenny, as a physician. My + genteel walk in life led me away from all immediate sources of emolument, + and my father could only afford to give me an allowance which was too + preposterously small to be mentioned. I had helped myself surreptitiously + to pocket-money at school, by selling my caricatures, and I was obliged to + repeat the process at home! + </p> + <p> + At the time of which I write, the Art of Caricature was just approaching + the close of its colored and most extravagant stage of development. The + subtlety and truth to Nature required for the pursuit of it now, had + hardly begun to be thought of then. Sheer farce and coarse burlesque, with + plenty of color for the money, still made up the sum of what the public of + those days wanted. I was first assured of my capacity for the production + of these requisites, by a medical friend of the ripe critical age of + nineteen. He knew a print-publisher, and enthusiastically showed him a + portfolio full of my sketches, taking care at my request not to mention my + name. Rather to my surprise (for I was too conceited to be greatly amazed + by the circumstance), the publisher picked out a few of the best of my + wares, and boldly bought them of me—of course, at his own price. + From that time I became, in an anonymous way, one of the young buccaneers + of British Caricature; cruising about here, there and everywhere, at all + my intervals of spare time, for any prize in the shape of a subject which + it was possible to pick up. Little did my highly-connected mother think + that, among the colored prints in the shop-window, which disrespectfully + illustrated the public and private proceedings of distinguished + individuals, certain specimens bearing the classic signature of “Thersites + Junior,” were produced from designs furnished by her studious and medical + son. Little did my respectable father imagine when, with great difficulty + and vexation, he succeeded in getting me now and then smuggled, along with + himself, inside the pale of fashionable society—that he was helping + me to study likenesses which were destined under my reckless treatment to + make the public laugh at some of his most august patrons, and to fill the + pockets of his son with professional fees, never once dreamed of in his + philosophy. + </p> + <p> + For more than a year I managed, unsuspected, to keep the Privy Purse + fairly supplied by the exercise of my caricaturing abilities. But the day + of detection was to come. + </p> + <p> + Whether my medical friend’s admiration of my satirical sketches led him + into talking about them in public with too little reserve; or whether the + servants at home found private means of watching me in my moments of + Art-study, I know not: but that some one betrayed me, and that the + discovery of my illicit manufacture of caricatures was actually + communicated even to the grandmotherly head and fount of the family honor, + is a most certain and lamentable matter of fact. One morning my father + received a letter from Lady Malkinshaw herself, informing him, in a + handwriting crooked with poignant grief, and blotted at every third word + by the violence of virtuous indignation, that “Thersites Junior” was his + own son, and that, in one of the last of the “ribald’s” caricatures her + own venerable features were unmistakably represented as belonging to the + body of a large owl! + </p> + <p> + Of course, I laid my hand on my heart and indignantly denied everything. + Useless. My original model for the owl had got proofs of my guilt that + were not to be resisted. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, ordinarily the most mellifluous and self-possessed of men, + flew into a violent, roaring, cursing passion, on this occasion—declared + that I was imperiling the honor and standing of the family—insisted + on my never drawing another caricature, either for public or private + purposes, as long as I lived; and ordered me to go forthwith and ask + pardon of Lady Malkinshaw in the humblest terms that it was possible to + select. I answered dutifully that I was quite ready to obey, on the + condition that he should reimburse me by a trebled allowance for what I + should lose by giving up the Art of Caricature, or that Lady Malkinshaw + should confer on me the appointment of physician-in-waiting on her, with a + handsome salary attached. These extremely moderate stipulations so + increased my father’s anger, that he asserted, with an unmentionably + vulgar oath, his resolution to turn me out of doors if I did not do as he + bid me, without daring to hint at any conditions whatsoever. I bowed, and + said that I would save him the exertion of turning me out of doors, by + going of my own accord. He shook his fist at me; after which it obviously + became my duty, as a member of a gentlemanly and peaceful profession, to + leave the room. The same evening I left the house, and I have never once + given the clumsy and expensive footman the trouble of answering the door + to me since that time. + </p> + <p> + I have reason to believe that my exodus from home was, on the whole, + favorably viewed by my mother, as tending to remove any possibility of my + bad character and conduct interfering with my sister’s advancement in + life. + </p> + <p> + By dint of angling with great dexterity and patience, under the direction + of both her parents, my handsome sister Annabella had succeeded in + catching an eligible husband, in the shape of a wizen, miserly, + mahogany-colored man, turned fifty, who had made a fortune in the West + Indies. His name was Batterbury; he had been dried up under a tropical + sun, so as to look as if he would keep for ages; he had two subjects of + conversation, the yellow-fever and the advantage of walking exercise: and + he was barbarian enough to take a violent dislike to me. He had proved a + very delicate fish to hook; and, even when Annabella had caught him, my + father and mother had great difficulty in landing him—principally, + they were good enough to say, in consequence of my presence on the scene. + Hence the decided advantage of my removal from home. It is a very pleasant + reflection to me, now, to remember how disinterestedly I studied the good + of my family in those early days. + </p> + <p> + Abandoned entirely to my own resources, I naturally returned to the + business of caricaturing with renewed ardor. + </p> + <p> + About this time Thersites Junior really began to make something like a + reputation, and to walk abroad habitually with a bank-note comfortably + lodged among the other papers in his pocketbook. For a year I lived a gay + and glorious life in some of the freest society in London; at the end of + that time, my tradesmen, without any provocation on my part, sent in their + bills. I found myself in the very absurd position of having no money to + pay them, and told them all so with the frankness which is one of the best + sides of my character. They received my advances toward a better + understanding with brutal incivility, and treated me soon afterward with a + want of confidence which I may forgive, but can never forget. One day, a + dirty stranger touched me on the shoulder, and showed me a dirty slip of + paper which I at first presumed to be his card. Before I could tell him + what a vulgar document it looked like, two more dirty strangers put me + into a hackney coach. Before I could prove to them that this proceeding + was a gross infringement on the liberties of the British subject, I found + myself lodged within the walls of a prison. + </p> + <p> + Well! and what of that? Who am I that I should object to being in prison, + when so many of the royal personages and illustrious characters of history + have been there before me? Can I not carry on my vocation in greater + comfort here than I could in my father’s house? Have I any anxieties + outside these walls? No: for my beloved sister is married—the family + net has landed Mr. Batterbury at last. No: for I read in the paper the + other day, that Doctor Softly (doubtless through the interest of Lady + Malkinshaw) has been appointed the + King’s-Barber-Surgeon’s-Deputy-Consulting Physician. My relatives are + comfortable in their sphere—let me proceed forthwith to make myself + comfortable in mine. Pen, ink, and paper, if you please, Mr. Jailer: I + wish to write to my esteemed publisher. + </p> + <p> + “DEAR SIR—Please advertise a series of twelve Racy Prints, from my + fertile pencil, entitled, ‘Scenes of Modern Prison Life,’ by Thersites + Junior. The two first designs will be ready by the end of the week, to be + paid for on delivery, according to the terms settled between us for my + previous publications of the same size. + </p> + <p> + “With great regard and esteem, faithfully yours, + </p> + <p> + “FRANK SOFTLY.” + </p> + <p> + Having thus provided for my support in prison, I was enabled to introduce + myself to my fellow-debtors, and to study character for the new series of + prints, on the very first day of my incarceration, with my mind quite at + ease. + </p> + <p> + If the reader desires to make acquaintance with the associates of my + captivity, I must refer him to “Scenes of Modern Prison Life,” by + Thersites Junior, now doubtless extremely scarce, but producible to the + demands of patience and perseverance, I should imagine, if anybody will be + so obliging as to pass a week or so over the catalogue of the British + Museum. My fertile pencil has delineated the characters I met with, at + that period of my life, with a force and distinctness which my pen cannot + hope to rival—has portrayed them all more or less prominently, with + the one solitary exception of a prisoner called Gentleman Jones. The + reasons why I excluded him from my portrait-gallery are so honorable to + both of us, that I must ask permission briefly to record them. + </p> + <p> + My fellow-captives soon discovered that I was studying their personal + peculiarities for my own advantage and for the public amusement. Some + thought the thing a good joke; some objected to it, and quarreled with me. + Liberality in the matter of liquor and small loans, reconciled a large + proportion of the objectors to their fate; the sulky minority I treated + with contempt, and scourged avengingly with the smart lash of caricature. + I was at that time probably the most impudent man of my age in all + England, and the common flock of jail-birds quailed before the + magnificence of my assurance. One prisoner only set me and my pencil + successfully at defiance. That prisoner was Gentleman Jones. + </p> + <p> + He had received his name from the suavity of his countenance, the + inveterate politeness of his language, and the unassailable composure of + his manner. He was in the prime of life, but very bald—had been in + the army and the coal trade—wore very stiff collars and prodigiously + long wristbands—seldom laughed, but talked with remarkable glibness, + and was never known to lose his temper under the most aggravating + circumstances of prison existence. + </p> + <p> + He abstained from interfering with me and my studies, until it was + reported in our society, that in the sixth print of my series, Gentleman + Jones, highly caricatured, was to form one of the principal figures. He + then appealed to me personally and publicly, on the racket-ground, in the + following terms: + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said he, with his usual politeness and his unwavering smile, “you + will greatly oblige me by not caricaturing my personal peculiarities. I am + so unfortunate as not to possess a sense of humor; and if you did my + likeness, I am afraid I should not see the joke of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” I returned, with my customary impudence, “it is not of the + slightest importance whether <i>you</i> see the joke of it or not. The + public will—and that is enough for me.” + </p> + <p> + With that civil speech, I turned on my heel; and the prisoners near all + burst out laughing. Gentleman Jones, not in the least altered or ruffled, + smoothed down his wristbands, smiled, and walked away. + </p> + <p> + The same evening I was in my room alone, designing the new print, when + there came a knock at the door, and Gentleman Jones walked in. I got up, + and asked what the devil he wanted. He smiled, and turned up his long + wristbands. + </p> + <p> + “Only to give you a lesson in politeness,” said Gentleman Jones. + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, sir? How dare you—?” + </p> + <p> + The answer was a smart slap on the face. I instantly struck out in a state + of fury—was stopped with great neatness—and received in return + a blow on the head, which sent me down on the carpet half stunned, and too + giddy to know the difference between the floor and the ceiling. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said Gentleman Jones, smoothing down his wristbands again, and + addressing me blandly as I lay on the floor, “I have the honor to inform + you that you have now received your first lesson in politeness. Always be + civil to those who are civil to you. The little matter of the caricature + we will settle on a future occasion. I wish you good-evening.” + </p> + <p> + The noise of my fall had been heard by the other occupants of rooms on my + landing. Most fortunately for my dignity, they did not come in to see what + was the matter until I had been able to get into my chair again. When they + entered, I felt that the impression of the slap was red on my face still, + but the mark of the blow was hidden by my hair. Under these fortunate + circumstances, I was able to keep up my character among my friends, when + they inquired about the scuffle, by informing them that Gentleman Jones + had audaciously slapped my face, and that I had been obliged to retaliate + by knocking him down. My word in the prison was as good as his; and if my + version of the story got fairly the start of his, I had the better chance + of the two of being believed. + </p> + <p> + I was rather anxious, the next day, to know what course my polite and + pugilistic instructor would take. To my utter amazement, he bowed to me as + civilly as usual when we met in the yard; he never denied my version of + the story; and when my friends laughed at him as a thrashed man, he took + not the slightest notice of their agreeable merriment. Antiquity, I think, + furnishes us with few more remarkable characters than Gentleman Jones. + </p> + <p> + That evening I thought it desirable to invite a friend to pass the time + with me. As long as my liquor lasted he stopped; when it was gone, he went + away. I was just locking the door after him, when it was pushed open + gently, but very firmly, and Gentleman Jones walked in. + </p> + <p> + My pride, which had not allowed me to apply for protection to the prison + authorities, would not allow me now to call for help. I tried to get to + the fireplace and arm myself with the poker, but Gentleman Jones was too + quick for me. “I have come, sir, to give you a lesson in morality + to-night,” he said; and up went his right hand. + </p> + <p> + I stopped the preliminary slap, but before I could hit him, his terrible + left fist reached my head again; and down I fell once more—upon the + hearth-rug this time—not over-heavily. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” said Gentleman Jones, making me a bow, “you have now received your + first lesson in morality. Always speak the truth; and never say what is + false of another man behind his back. To-morrow, with your kind + permission, we will finally settle the adjourned question of the + caricature. Good-night.” + </p> + <p> + I was far too sensible a man to leave the settling of that question to + him. The first thing in the morning I sent a polite note to Gentleman + Jones, informing him that I had abandoned all idea of exhibiting his + likeness to the public in my series of prints, and giving him full + permission to inspect every design I made before it went out of the + prison. I received a most civil answer, thanking me for my courtesy, and + complimenting me on the extraordinary aptitude with which I profited by + the most incomplete and elementary instruction. I thought I deserved the + compliment, and I think so still. Our conduct, as I have already + intimated, was honorable to us, on either side. It was honorable attention + on the part of Gentleman Jones to correct me when I was in error; it was + honorable common sense in me to profit by the correction. I have never + seen this great man since he compounded with his creditors and got out of + prison; but my feelings toward him are still those of profound gratitude + and respect. He gave me the only useful teaching I ever had; and if this + should meet the eye of Gentleman Jones I hereby thank him for beginning + and ending my education in two evenings, without costing me or my family a + single farthing. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. + </h2> + <p> + To return to my business affairs. When I was comfortably settled in the + prison, and knew exactly what I owed, I thought it my duty to my father to + give him the first chance of getting me out. His answer to my letter + contained a quotation from Shakespeare on the subject of thankless + children, but no remittance of money. After that, my only course was to + employ a lawyer and be declared a bankrupt. I was most uncivilly treated, + and remanded two or three times. When everything I possessed had been sold + for the benefit of my creditors, I was reprimanded and let out. It is + pleasant to think that, even then, my faith in myself and in human nature + was still not shaken. + </p> + <p> + About ten days before my liberation, I was thunderstruck at receiving a + visit from my sister’s mahogany-colored husband, Mr. Batterbury. When I + was respectably settled at home, this gentleman would not so much as look + at me without a frown; and now, when I was a scamp, in prison, he + mercifully and fraternally came to condole with me on my misfortunes. A + little dexterous questioning disclosed the secret of this prodigious + change in our relations toward each other, and informed me of a family + event which altered my position toward my sister in the most whimsical + manner. + </p> + <p> + While I was being removed to the bankruptcy court, my uncle in the soap + and candle trade was being removed to the other world. His will took no + notice of my father or my mother; but he left to my sister (always + supposed to be his favorite in the family) a most extraordinary legacy of + possible pin-money, in the shape of a contingent reversion to the sum of + three thousand pounds, payable on the death of Lady Malkinshaw, provided I + survived her. + </p> + <p> + Whether this document sprang into existence out of any of his involved + money transactions with his mother was more than Mr. Batterbury could + tell. I could ascertain nothing in relation to it, except that the bequest + was accompanied by some cynical remarks, to the effect that the testator + would feel happy if his legacy were instrumental in reviving the dormant + interest of only one member of Doctor Softly’s family in the fortunes of + the hopeful young gentleman who had run away from home. My esteemed uncle + evidently felt that he could not in common decency avoid doing something + for his sister’s family; and he had done it accordingly in the most + malicious and mischievous manner. This was characteristic of him; he was + just the man, if he had not possessed the document before, to have had it + drawn out on his death-bed for the amiable purpose which it was now + devoted to serve. + </p> + <p> + Here was a pretty complication! Here was my sister’s handsome legacy made + dependent on my outliving my grandmother! This was diverting enough; but + Mr. Batterbury’s conduct was more amusing still. + </p> + <p> + The miserly little wretch not only tried to conceal his greedy desire to + save his own pockets by securing the allowance of pin-money left to his + wife, but absolutely persisted in ignoring the plain fact that his visit + to me sprang from the serious pecuniary interest which he and Annabella + now had in the life and health of your humble servant. I made all the + necessary jokes about the strength of the vital principle in Lady + Malkinshaw, and the broken condition of my own constitution; but he + solemnly abstained from understanding one of them. He resolutely kept up + appearances in the very face of detection; not the faintest shade of red + came over his wicked old mahogany face as he told me how shocked he and + his wife were at my present position, and how anxious Annabella was that + he should not forget to give me her love. Tenderhearted creature! I had + only been in prison six months when that overwhelming testimony of + sisterly affection came to console me in my captivity. Ministering angel! + you shall get your three thousand pounds. I am fifty years younger than + Lady Malkinshaw, and I will take care of myself, Annabella, for thy dear + sake! + </p> + <p> + The next time I saw Mr. Batterbury was on the day when I at last got my + discharge. He was not waiting to see where I was going next, or what vital + risks I was likely to run on the recovery of my freedom, but to + congratulate me, and to give me Annabella’s love. It was a very gratifying + attention, and I said as much, in tones of the deepest feeling. + </p> + <p> + “How is dear Lady Malkinshaw?” I asked, when my grateful emotions had + subsided. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Batterbury shook his head mournfully. “I regret to say, not quite so + well as her friends could wish,” he answered. “The last time I had the + pleasure of seeing her ladyship, she looked so yellow that if we had been + in Jamaica I should have said it was a case of death in twelve hours. I + respectfully endeavored to impress upon her ladyship the necessity of + keeping the functions of the liver active by daily walking exercise; time, + distance, and pace being regulated with proper regard to her age—you + understand me?—of course, with proper regard to her age.” + </p> + <p> + “You could not possibly have given her better advice,” I said. “When I saw + her, as long as two years ago, Lady Malkinshaw’s favorite delusion was + that she was the most active woman of seventy-five in all England. She + used to tumble downstairs two or three times a week, then, because she + never would allow any one to help her; and could not be brought to believe + that she was as blind as a mole, and as rickety on her legs as a child of + a year old. Now you have encouraged her to take to walking, she will be + more obstinate than ever, and is sure to tumble down daily, out of doors + as well as in. Not even the celebrated Malkinshaw toughness can last out + more than a few weeks of that practice. Considering the present shattered + condition of my constitution, you couldn’t have given her better advice—upon + my word of honor, you couldn’t have given her better advice!” + </p> + <p> + “I am afraid,” said Mr. Batterbury, with a power of face I envied; “I am + afraid, my dear Frank (let me call you Frank), that I don’t quite + apprehend your meaning: and we have unfortunately no time to enter into + explanations. Five miles here by a roundabout way is only half my daily + allowance of walking exercise; five miles back by a roundabout way remain + to be now accomplished. So glad to see you at liberty again! Mind you let + us know where you settle, and take care of yourself; and do recognize the + importance to the whole animal economy of daily walking exercise—do + now! Did I give you Annabella’s love? She’s so well. Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + Away went Mr. Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his health, + and away went I to visit my publisher for the sake of my pocket. + </p> + <p> + An unexpected disappointment awaited me. My “Scenes of Modern Prison Life” + had not sold so well as had been anticipated, and my publisher was gruffly + disinclined to speculate in any future works done in the same style. + During the time of my imprisonment, a new caricaturist had started, with a + manner of his own; he had already formed a new school, and the fickle + public were all running together after him and his disciples. I said to + myself: “This scene in the drama of your life, my friend, has closed in; + you must enter on another, or drop the curtain at once.” Of course I + entered on another. + </p> + <p> + Taking leave of my publisher, I went to consult an artist-friend on my + future prospects. I supposed myself to be merely on my way to a change of + profession. As destiny ordered it, I was also on my way to the woman who + was not only to be the object of my first love, but the innocent cause of + the great disaster of my life. + </p> + <p> + I first saw her in one of the narrow streets leading from Leicester Square + to the Strand. There was something in her face (dimly visible behind a + thick veil) that instantly stopped me as I passed her. I looked back and + hesitated. Her figure was the perfection of modest grace. I yielded to the + impulse of the moment. In plain words, I did what you would have done, in + my place—I followed her. + </p> + <p> + She looked round—discovered me—and instantly quickened her + pace. Reaching the westward end of the Strand, she crossed the street and + suddenly entered a shop. + </p> + <p> + I looked through the window, and saw her speak to a respectable elderly + person behind the counter, who darted an indignant look at me, and at once + led my charming stranger into a back office. For the moment, I was fool + enough to feel puzzled; it was out of my character you will say—but + remember, all men are fools when they first fall in love. After a little + while I recovered the use of my senses. The shop was at the corner of a + side street, leading to the market, since removed to make room for the + railway. “There’s a back entrance to the house!” I thought to myself—and + ran down the side street. Too late! the lovely fugitive had escaped me. + Had I lost her forever in the great world of London? I thought so at the + time. Events will show that I never was more mistaken in my life. + </p> + <p> + I was in no humor to call on my friend. It was not until another day had + passed that I sufficiently recovered my composure to see poverty staring + me in the face, and to understand that I had really no alternative but to + ask the good-natured artist to lend me a helping hand. + </p> + <p> + I had heard it darkly whispered that he was something of a vagabond. But + the term is so loosely applied, and it seems so difficult, after all, to + define what a vagabond is, or to strike the right moral balance between + the vagabond work which is boldly published, and the vagabond work which + is reserved for private circulation only, that I did not feel justified in + holding aloof from my former friend. Accordingly, I renewed our + acquaintance, and told him my present difficulty. He was a sharp man, and + he showed me a way out of it directly. + </p> + <p> + “You have a good eye for a likeness,” he said; “and you have made it keep + you hitherto. Very well. Make it keep you still. You can’t profitably + caricature people’s faces any longer—never mind! go to the other + extreme, and flatter them now. Turn portrait-painter. You shall have the + use of this study three days in the week, for ten shillings a week—sleeping + on the hearth-rug included, if you like. Get your paints, rouse up your + friends, set to work at once. Drawing is of no consequence; painting is of + no consequence; perspective is of no consequence; ideas are of no + consequence. Everything is of no consequence, except catching a likeness + and flattering your sitter—and that you know you can do.” + </p> + <p> + I felt that I could; and left him for the nearest colorman’s. + </p> + <p> + Before I got to the shop, I met Mr. Batterbury taking his walking + exercise. He stopped, shook hands with me affectionately, and asked where + I was going. A wonderful idea struck me. Instead of answering his + question, I asked after Lady Malkinshaw. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t be alarmed,” said Mr. Batterbury; “her ladyship tumbled downstairs + yesterday morning.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear sir, allow me to congratulate you!” + </p> + <p> + “Most fortunately,” continued Mr. Batterbury, with a strong emphasis on + the words, and a fixed stare at me; “most fortunately, the servant had + been careless enough to leave a large bundle of clothes for the wash at + the foot of the stairs, while she went to answer the door. Falling + headlong from the landing, her ladyship pitched (pardon me the expression)—pitched + into the very middle of the bundle. She was a little shaken at the time, + but is reported to be going on charmingly this morning. Most fortunate, + was it not? Seen the papers? Awful news from Demerara—the yellow + fever—” + </p> + <p> + “I wish I was at Demerara,” I said, in a hollow voice. + </p> + <p> + “You! Why?” exclaimed Mr. Batterbury, aghast. + </p> + <p> + “I am homeless, friendless, penniless,” I went on, getting more hollow at + every word. “All my intellectual instincts tell me that I could retrieve + my position and live respectably in the world, if I might only try my hand + at portrait-painting—the thing of all others that I am naturally + fittest for. But I have nobody to start me; no sitter to give me a first + chance; nothing in my pocket but three-and-sixpence; and nothing in my + mind but a doubt whether I shall struggle on a little longer, or end it + immediately in the Thames. Don’t let me detain you from your walk, my dear + sir. I’m afraid Lady Malkinshaw will outlive me, after all!” + </p> + <p> + “Stop!” cried Mr. Batterbury; his mahogany face actually getting white + with alarm. “Stop! Don’t talk in that dreadfully unprincipled manner—don’t, + I implore, I insist! You have plenty of friends—you have me, and + your sister. Take to portrait-painting—think of your family, and + take to portrait-painting!” + </p> + <p> + “Where am I to get a sitter?’ I inquired, with a gloomy shake of the head. + </p> + <p> + “Me,” said Mr. Batterbury, with an effort. “I’ll be your first sitter. As + a beginner, and especially to a member of the family, I suppose your terms + will be moderate. Small beginnings—you know the proverb?” Here he + stopped; and a miserly leer puckered up his mahogany cheeks. + </p> + <p> + “I’ll do you, life-size, down to your waistcoat, for fifty pounds,” said + I. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Batterbury winced, and looked about him to the right and left, as if + he wanted to run away. He had five thousand a year, but he contrived to + took, at that moment, as if his utmost income was five hundred. I walked + on a few steps. + </p> + <p> + “Surely those terms are rather high to begin with?” he said, walking after + me. “I should have thought five-and-thirty, or perhaps forty—” + </p> + <p> + “A gentleman, sir, cannot condescend to bargain,” said I, with mournful + dignity. “Farewell!” I waved my hand, and crossed over the way. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t do that!” cried Mr. Batterbury. “I accept. Give me your address. + I’ll come tomorrow. Will it include the frame! There! there! it doesn’t + include the frame, of course. Where are you going now? To the colorman? He + doesn’t live in the Strand, I hope—or near one of the bridges. Think + of Annabella, think of the family, think of the fifty pounds—an + income, a year’s income to a prudent man. Pray, pray be careful, and + compose your mind: promise me, my dear, dear fellow—promise me, on + your word of honor, to compose your mind!” + </p> + <p> + I left him still harping on that string, and suffering, I believe, the + only serious attack of mental distress that had ever affected him in the + whole course of his life. + </p> + <p> + Behold me, then, now starting afresh in the world, in the character of a + portrait-painter; with the payment of my remuneration from my first sitter + depending whimsically on the life of my grandmother. If you care to know + how Lady Malkinshaw’s health got on, and how I succeeded in my new + profession, you have only to follow the further course of these + confessions, in the next chapter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. + </h2> + <p> + I GAVE my orders to the colorman, and settled matters with my friend the + artist that day. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, before the hour at which I expected my sitter, having + just now as much interest in the life of Lady Malkinshaw as Mr. Batterbury + had in her death, I went to make kind inquiries after her ladyship’s + health. The answer was most reassuring. Lady Malkinshaw had no present + intention of permitting me to survive her. She was, at that very moment, + meritoriously and heartily engaged in eating her breakfast. My prospects + being now of the best possible kind, I felt encouraged to write once more + to my father, telling him of my fresh start in life, and proposing a + renewal of our acquaintance. I regret to say that he was so rude as not to + answer my letter. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Batterbury was punctual to the moment. He gave a gasp of relief when + he beheld me, full of life, with my palette on my thumb, gazing fondly on + my new canvas. + </p> + <p> + “That’s right!” he said. “I like to see you with your mind composed. + Annabella would have come with me; but she has a little headache this + morning. She sends her love and best wishes.” + </p> + <p> + I seized my chalks and began with that confidence in myself which has + never forsaken me in any emergency. Being perfectly well aware of the + absolute dependence of the art of portrait-painting on the art of + flattery, I determined to start with making the mere outline of my + likeness a compliment to my sitter. + </p> + <p> + It was much easier to resolve on doing this than really to do it. In the + first place, my hand would relapse into its wicked old caricaturing + habits. In the second place, my brother-in-law’s face was so inveterately + and completely ugly as to set every artifice of pictorial improvement at + flat defiance. When a man has a nose an inch long, with the nostrils set + perpendicularly, it is impossible to flatter it—you must either + change it into a fancy nose, or resignedly acquiesce in it. When a man has + no perceptible eyelids, and when his eyes globularly project so far out of + his head, that you expect to have to pick them up for him whenever you see + him lean forward, how are mortal fingers and bushes to diffuse the right + complimentary expression over them? You must either do them the most + hideous and complete justice, or give them up altogether. The late Sir + Thomas Lawrence, P.R.A., was undoubtedly the most artful and + uncompromising flatterer that ever smoothed out all the natural + characteristic blemishes from a sitter’s face; but even that accomplished + parasite would have found Mr. Batterbury too much for him, and would have + been driven, for the first time in his practice of art, to the uncustomary + and uncourtly resource of absolutely painting a genuine likeness. + </p> + <p> + As for me, I put my trust in Lady Malkinshaw’s power of living, and + portrayed the face of Mr. Batterbury in all its native horror. At the same + time, I sensibly guarded against even the most improbable accidents, by + making him pay me the fifty pounds as we went on, by installments. We had + ten sittings. Each one of them began with a message from Mr. Batterbury, + giving me Annabella’s love and apologies for not being able to come and + see me. Each one of them ended with an argument between Mr. Batterbury and + me relative to the transfer of five pounds from his pocket to mine. I came + off victorious on every occasion—being backed by the noble behavior + of Lady Malkinshaw, who abstained from tumbling down, and who ate and + drank, and slept and grew lusty, for three weeks together. Venerable + woman! She put fifty pounds into my pocket. I shall think of her with + gratitude and respect to the end of my days. + </p> + <p> + One morning, while I was sitting before my completed portrait, inwardly + shuddering over the ugliness of it, a suffocating smell of musk was wafted + into the studio; it was followed by a sound of rustling garments; and that + again was succeeded by the personal appearance of my affectionate sister, + with her husband at her heels. Annabella had got to the end of her stock + of apologies, and had come to see me. + </p> + <p> + She put her handkerchief to her nose the moment she entered the room. + </p> + <p> + “How do you do, Frank? Don’t kiss me: you smell of paint, and I can’t bear + it.” + </p> + <p> + I felt a similar antipathy to the smell of musk, and had not the slightest + intention of kissing her; but I was too gallant a man to say so; and I + only begged her to favor me by looking at her husband’s portrait. + </p> + <p> + Annabella glanced all round the room, with her handkerchief still at her + nose, and gathered her magnificent silk dress close about her superb + figure with her disengaged hand. + </p> + <p> + “What a horrid place!” she said faintly behind her handkerchief. “Can’t + you take some of the paint away? I’m sure there’s oil on the floor. How am + I to get past that nasty table with the palette on it? Why can’t you bring + the picture down to the carriage, Frank?” + </p> + <p> + Advancing a few steps, and looking suspiciously about her while she spoke, + her eyes fell on the chimney-piece. An eau-de-Cologne bottle stood upon + it, which she took up immediately with a languishing sigh. + </p> + <p> + It contained turpentine for washing brushes in. Before I could warn her, + she had sprinkled herself absently with half the contents of the bottle. + In spite of all the musk that now filled the room, the turpentine betrayed + itself almost as soon as I cried “Stop!” Annabella, with a shriek of + disgust, flung the bottle furiously into the fireplace. Fortunately it was + summer-time, or I might have had to echo the shriek with a cry of “Fire!” + </p> + <p> + “You wretch! you brute! you low, mischievous, swindling blackguard!” cried + my amiable sister, shaking her skirts with all her might, “you have done + this on purpose! Don’t tell me! I know you have. What do you mean by + pestering me to come to this dog-kennel of a place?” she continued, + turning fiercely upon the partner of her existence and legitimate + receptacle of all her superfluous wrath. “What do you mean by bringing me + here, to see how you have been swindled? Yes, sir, swindled! He has no + more idea of painting than you have. He has cheated you out of your money. + If he was starving tomorrow he would be the last man in England to make + away with himself—he is too great a wretch—he is too vicious—he + is too lost to all sense of respectability—he is too much of a + discredit to his family. Take me away! Give me your arm directly! I told + you not to go near him from the first. This is what comes of your horrid + fondness for money. Suppose Lady Malkinshaw does outlive him; suppose I do + lose my legacy. What is three thousand pounds to you? My dress is ruined. + My shawl’s spoiled. <i>He</i> die! If the old woman lives to the age of + Methuselah, he won’t die. Give me your arm. No! Go to my father. I want + medical advice. My nerves are torn to pieces. I’m giddy, faint, sick—SICK, + Mr. Batterbury!” + </p> + <p> + Here she became hysterical, and vanished, leaving a mixed odor of musk and + turpentine behind her, which preserved the memory of her visit for nearly + a week afterward. + </p> + <p> + “Another scene in the drama of my life seems likely to close in before + long,” thought I. “No chance now of getting my amiable sister to patronize + struggling genius. Do I know of anybody else who will sit to me? No, not a + soul. Having thus no portraits of other people to paint, what is it my + duty, as a neglected artist, to do next? Clearly to take a portrait of + myself.” + </p> + <p> + I did so, making my own likeness quite a pleasant relief to the ugliness + of my brother-in-law’s. It was my intention to send both portraits to the + Royal Academy Exhibition, to get custom, and show the public generally + what I could do. I knew the institution with which I had to deal, and + called my own likeness, Portrait of a Nobleman. + </p> + <p> + That dexterous appeal to the tenderest feelings of my distinguished + countrymen very nearly succeeded. The portrait of Mr. Batterbury (much the + more carefully-painted picture of the two) was summarily turned out. The + Portrait of a Nobleman was politely reserved to be hung up, if the Royal + Academicians could possibly find room for it. They could not. So that + picture also vanished back into the obscurity of the artist’s easel. Weak + and well-meaning people would have desponded under these circumstances; + but your genuine Rogue is a man of elastic temperament, not easily + compressible under any pressure of disaster. I sent the portrait of Mr. + Batterbury to the house of that distinguished patron, and the Portrait of + a Nobleman to the Pawnbroker’s. After this I had plenty of elbow-room in + the studio, and could walk up and down briskly, smoking my pipe, and + thinking about what I should do next. + </p> + <p> + I had observed that the generous friend and vagabond brother artist, whose + lodger I now was, never seemed to be in absolute want of money; and yet + the walls of his studio informed me that nobody bought his pictures. There + hung all his great works, rejected by the Royal Academy, and neglected by + the patrons of Art; and there, nevertheless, was he, blithely plying the + brush; not rich, it is true, but certainly never without money enough in + his pocket for the supply of all his modest wants. Where did he find his + resources? I determined to ask him the question the very next time he came + to the studio. + </p> + <p> + “Dick,” I said (we called each other by our Christian names), “where do + you get your money?” + </p> + <p> + “Frank,” he answered, “what makes you ask that question?” + </p> + <p> + “Necessity,” I proceeded. “My stock of money is decreasing, and I don’t + know how to replenish it. My pictures have been turned out of the + exhibition-rooms; nobody comes to sit to me; I can’t make a farthing; and + I must try another line in the Arts, or leave your studio. We are old + friends now. I’ve paid you honestly week by week; and if you can oblige + me, I think you ought. You earn money somehow. Why can’t I?” + </p> + <p> + “Are you at all particular?” asked Dick. + </p> + <p> + “Not in the least,” I answered. + </p> + <p> + Dick nodded, and looked pleased; handed me my hat, and put on his own. + </p> + <p> + “You are just the sort of man I like,” he remarked, “and I would sooner + trust you than any one else I know. You ask how I contrive to earn money, + seeing that all my pictures are still in my own possession. My dear + fellow, whenever my pockets are empty, and I want a ten-pound note to put + into them, I make an Old Master.” + </p> + <p> + I stared hard at him, not at first quite understanding what he meant. + </p> + <p> + “The Old Master I can make best,” continued Dick, “is Claude Lorraine, + whom you may have heard of occasionally as a famous painter of classical + landscapes. I don’t exactly know (he has been dead so long) how many + pictures he turned out, from first to last; but we will say, for the sake + of argument, five hundred. Not five of these are offered for sale, + perhaps, in the course of five years. Enlightened collectors of old + pictures pour into the market by fifties, while genuine specimens of + Claude, or of any other Old Master you like to mention, only dribble in by + ones and twos. Under these circumstances, what is to be done? Are + unoffending owners of galleries to be subjected to disappointment? Or are + the works of Claude, and the other fellows, to be benevolently increased + in number, to supply the wants of persons of taste and quality? No man of + humanity but must lean to the latter alternative. The collectors, observe, + don’t know anything about it—they buy Claude (to take an instance + from my own practice) as they buy all the other Old Masters, because of + his reputation, not because of the pleasure they get from his works. Give + them a picture with a good large ruin, fancy trees, prancing nymphs, and a + watery sky; dirty it down dexterously to the right pitch; put it in an old + frame; call it a Claude; and the sphere of the Old Master is enlarged, the + collector is delighted, the picture-dealer is enriched, and the neglected + modern artist claps a joyful hand on a well-filled pocket. Some men have a + knack at making Rembrandts, others have a turn for Raphaels, Titians, + Cuyps, Watteaus, and the rest of them. Anyhow, we are all made happy—all + pleased with each other—all benefited alike. Kindness is propagated + and money is dispersed. Come along, my boy, and make an Old Master!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. + </h2> + <p> + HE led the way into the street as he spoke. I felt the irresistible force + of his logic. I sympathized with the ardent philanthropy of his motives. I + burned with a noble ambition to extend the sphere of the Old Masters. In + short, I took the tide at the flood, and followed Dick. + </p> + <p> + We plunged into some by-streets, struck off sharp into a court, and + entered a house by a back door. A little old gentleman in a black velvet + dressing-gown met us in the passage. Dick instantly presented me: “Mr. + Frank Softly—Mr. Ishmael Pickup.” The little old gentleman stared at + me distrustfully. I bowed to him with that inexorable politeness which I + first learned under the instructive fist of Gentleman Jones, and which no + force of adverse circumstances has ever availed to mitigate in after life. + Mr. Ishmael Pickup followed my lead. There is not the least need to + describe him—he was a Jew. + </p> + <p> + “Go into the front show-room, and look at the pictures, while I speak to + Mr. Pickup,” said Dick, familiarly throwing open a door, and pushing me + into a kind of gallery beyond. I found myself quite alone, surrounded by + modern-antique pictures of all schools and sizes, of all degrees of dirt + and dullness, with all the names of all the famous Old Masters, from + Titian to Teniers, inscribed on their frames. A “pearly little gem,” by + Claude, with a ticket marked “Sold” stuck into the frame, particularly + attracted my attention. It was Dick’s last ten-pound job; and it did + credit to the youthful master’s abilities as a workman-like maker of + Claudes. + </p> + <p> + I have been informed that, since the time of which I am writing, the + business of gentlemen of Mr. Pickup’s class has rather fallen off, and + that there are dealers in pictures, nowadays, who are as just and + honorable men as can be found in any profession or calling, anywhere under + the sun. This change, which I report with sincerity and reflect on with + amazement, is, as I suspect, mainly the result of certain wholesale modern + improvements in the position of contemporary Art, which have necessitated + improvements and alterations in the business of picture-dealing. + </p> + <p> + In my time, the encouragers of modern painting were limited in number to a + few noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, who, in matters of taste, + at least, never presumed to think for themselves. They either inherited or + bought a gallery more or less full of old pictures. It was as much a part + of their education to put their faith in these on hearsay evidence, as to + put their faith in King, Lords and Commons. It was an article of their + creed to believe that the dead painters were the great men, and that the + more the living painters imitated the dead, the better was their chance of + becoming at some future day, and in a minor degree, great also. At certain + times and seasons, these noblemen and gentlemen self-distrustfully strayed + into the painting-room of a modern artist, self-distrustfully allowed + themselves to be rather attracted by his pictures, self-distrustfully + bought one or two of them at prices which would appear so incredibly low, + in these days, that I really cannot venture to quote them. The picture was + sent home; the nobleman or gentleman (almost always an amiable and a + hospitable man) would ask the artist to his house and introduce him to the + distinguished individuals who frequented it; but would never admit his + picture, on terms of equality, into the society even of the second-rate + Old Masters. His work was hung up in any out-of-the-way corner of the + gallery that could be found; it had been bought under protest; it was + admitted by sufferance; its freshness and brightness damaged it terribly + by contrast with the dirtiness and the dinginess of its elderly + predecessors; and its only points selected for praise were those in which + it most nearly resembled the peculiar mannerism of some Old Master, not + those in which it resembled the characteristics of the old mistress—Nature. + </p> + <p> + The unfortunate artist had no court of appeal that he could turn to. + Nobody beneath the nobleman, or the gentleman of ancient lineage, so much + as thought of buying a modern picture. Nobody dared to whisper that the + Art of painting had in anywise been improved or worthily enlarged in its + sphere by any modern professors. For one nobleman who was ready to buy one + genuine modern picture at a small price, there were twenty noblemen ready + to buy twenty more than doubtful old pictures at great prices. The + consequence was, that some of the most famous artists of the English + school, whose pictures are now bought at auction sales for fabulous sums, + were then hardly able to make an income. They were a scrupulously patient + and conscientious body of men, who would as soon have thought of breaking + into a house, or equalizing the distribution of wealth, on the highway, by + the simple machinery of a horse and pistol, as of making Old Masters to + order. They sat resignedly in their lonely studios, surrounded by unsold + pictures which have since been covered again and again with gold and + bank-notes by eager buyers at auctions and show-rooms, whose money has + gone into other than the painter’s pockets—-who have never dreamed + that the painter had the smallest moral right to a farthing of it. Year + after year, these martyrs of the brush stood, palette in hand, fighting + the old battle of individual merit against contemporary dullness—fighting + bravely, patiently, independently; and leaving to Mr. Pickup and his + pupils a complete monopoly of all the profit which could be extracted, in + their line of business, from the feebly-buttoned pocket of the patron, and + the inexhaustible credulity of the connoisseur. + </p> + <p> + Now all this is changed. Traders and makers of all kinds of commodities + have effected a revolution in the picture-world, never dreamed of by the + noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, and consistently protested + against to this day by the very few of them who still remain alive. + </p> + <p> + The daring innovators started with the new notion of buying a picture + which they themselves could admire and appreciate, and for the genuineness + of which the artist was still living to vouch. These rough and ready + customers were not to be led by rules or frightened by precedents; they + were not to be easily imposed upon, for the article they wanted was not to + be easily counterfeited. Sturdily holding to their own opinions, they + thought incessant repetitions of Saints, Martyrs, and Holy Families, + monotonous and uninteresting—and said so. They thought little + pictures of ugly Dutch women scouring pots, and drunken Dutchmen playing + cards, dirty and dear at the price—and said so. They saw that trees + were green in nature, and brown in the Old Masters, and they thought the + latter color not an improvement on the former—and said so. They + wanted interesting subjects; variety, resemblance to nature; genuineness + of the article, and fresh paint; they had no ancestors whose feelings, as + founders of galleries, it was necessary to consult; no critical gentlemen + and writers of valuable works to snub them when they were in spirits; + nothing to lead them by the nose but their own shrewdness, their own + interests, and their own tastes—so they turned their backs valiantly + on the Old Masters, and marched off in a body to the living men. + </p> + <p> + From that time good modern pictures have risen in the scale. Even as + articles of commerce and safe investments for money, they have now (as + some disinterested collectors who dine at certain annual dinners I know + of, can testify) distanced the old pictures in the race. The modern + painters who have survived the brunt of the battle, have lived to see + pictures for which they once asked hundreds, selling for thousands, and + the young generation making incomes by the brush in one year, which it + would have cost the old heroes of the easel ten to accumulate. The + posterity of Mr. Pickup still do a tolerable stroke of business (making + bright modern masters for the market which is glutted with the dingy old + material), and will, probably, continue to thrive and multiply in the + future: the one venerable institution of this world which we can safely + count upon as likely to last, being the institution of human folly. + Nevertheless, if a wise man of the reformed taste wants a modern picture, + there are places for him to go to now where he may be sure of getting it + genuine; where, if the artist is not alive to vouch for his work, the + facts at any rate have not had time to die which vouch for the dealer who + sells it. In my time matters were rather different. The painters <i>we</i> + throve by had died long enough ago for pedigrees to get confused, and + identities disputable; and if I had been desirous of really purchasing a + genuine Old Master for myself—speaking as a practical man—I + don’t know where I should have gone to ask for one, or whose judgment I + could have safely relied on to guard me from being cheated, before I + bought it. + </p> + <p> + We are stopping a long time in the picture-gallery, you will say. I am + very sorry—but we must stay a little longer, for the sake of a + living picture, the gem of the collection. + </p> + <p> + I was still admiring Mr. Pickup’s Old Masters, when a dirty little boy + opened the door of the gallery, and introduced a young lady. + </p> + <p> + My heart—fancy my having a heart!—gave one great bound in me. + I recognized the charming person whom I had followed in the street. + </p> + <p> + Her veil was not down this time. All the beauty of her large, soft, + melancholy, brown eyes beamed on me. Her delicate complexion became + suddenly suffused with a lovely rosy flush. Her glorious black hair—no! + I will make an effort, I will suppress my ecstasies. Let me only say that + she evidently recognized me. Will you believe it?—I felt myself + coloring as I bowed to her. I never blushed before in my life. What a very + curious sensation it is! + </p> + <p> + The horrid boy claimed her attention with a grin. + </p> + <p> + “Master’s engaged,” he said. “Please to wait here.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t wish to disturb Mr. Pickup,” she answered. + </p> + <p> + What a voice! No! I am drifting back into ecstasies: her voice was worthy + of her—I say no more. + </p> + <p> + “If you will be so kind as to show him this,” she proceeded; “he knows + what it is. And please say, my father is very ill and very anxious. It + will be quite enough if Mr. Pickup will only send me word by you—Yes + or No.” + </p> + <p> + She gave the boy an oblong slip of stamped paper. Evidently a promissory + note. An angel on earth, sent by an inhuman father, to ask a Jew for + discount! Monstrous! + </p> + <p> + The boy disappeared with the message. + </p> + <p> + I seized my opportunity of speaking to her. Don’t ask me what I said! + Never before (or since) have I talked such utter nonsense, with such + intense earnestness of purpose and such immeasurable depth of feeling. Do + pray remember what you said yourself, the first time you had the chance of + opening your heart to <i>your</i> young lady. The boy returned before I + had half done, and gave her back the odious document. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Pickup’s very sorry, miss. The answer is, No.” + </p> + <p> + She lost all her lovely color, and sighed, and turned away. As she pulled + down her veil, I saw the tears in her eyes. Did that piteous spectacle + partially deprive me of my senses? I actually entreated her to let me be + of some use—as if I had been an old friend, with money enough in my + pocket to discount the note myself. She brought me back to my senses with + the utmost gentleness. + </p> + <p> + “I am afraid you forget, sir, that we are strangers. Good-morning.” + </p> + <p> + I followed her to the door. I asked leave to call on her father, and + satisfy him about myself and my family connections. She only answered that + her father was too ill to see visitors. I went out with her on to the + landing. She turned on me sharply for the first time. + </p> + <p> + “You can see for yourself, sir, that I am in great distress. I appeal to + you, as a gentleman, to spare me.” + </p> + <p> + If you still doubt whether I was really in love, let the facts speak for + themselves. I hung my head, and let her go. + </p> + <p> + When I returned alone to the picture-gallery—when I remembered that + I had not even had the wit to improve my opportunity by discovering her + name and address—I did really and seriously ask myself if these were + the first symptoms of softening of the brain. I got up, and sat down + again. I, the most audacious man of my age in London, had behaved like a + bashful boy! Once more I had lost her—and this time, also, I had + nobody but myself to blame for it. + </p> + <p> + These melancholy meditations were interrupted by the appearance of my + friend, the artist, in the picture-gallery. He approached me + confidentially, and spoke in a mysterious whisper. + </p> + <p> + “Pickup is suspicious,” he said; “and I have had all the difficulty in the + world to pave your way smoothly for you at the outset. However, if you can + contrive to make a small Rembrandt, as a specimen, you may consider + yourself employed here until further notice. I am obliged to particularize + Rembrandt, because he is the only Old Master disengaged at present. The + professional gentleman who used to do him died the other day in the Fleet—he + had a turn for Rembrandts, and can’t be easily replaced. Do you think you + could step into his shoes? It’s a peculiar gift, like an ear for music, or + a turn for mathematics. Of course you will be put up to the simple + elementary rules, and will have the professional gentleman’s last + Rembrandt as a guide; the rest depends, my dear friend, on your powers of + imitation. Don’t be discouraged by failures, but try again and again; and + mind you are dirty and dark enough. You have heard a great deal about the + light and shade of Rembrandt—Remember always that, in your case, + light means dusky yellow, and shade dense black; remember that, and—” + </p> + <p> + “No pay,” said the voice of Mr. Pickup behind me; “no pay, my dear, unlesh + your Rembrandt ish good enough to take me in—even me, Ishmael, who + dealsh in pictersh and knowsh what’sh what.” + </p> + <p> + What did I care about Rembrandt at that moment? I was thinking of my lost + young lady; and I should probably have taken no notice of Mr. Pickup, if + it had not occurred to me that the old wretch must know her father’s name + and address. I at once put the question. The Jew grinned, and shook his + grisly head. “Her father’sh in difficultiesh, and mum’s the word, my + dear.” To that answer he adhered, in spite of all that I could say to him. + </p> + <p> + With equal obstinacy I determined, sooner or later, to get my information. + </p> + <p> + I took service under Mr. Pickup, purposing to make myself essential to his + prosperity, in a commercial sense—and then to threaten him with + offering my services to a rival manufacturer of Old Masters, unless he + trusted me with the secret of the name and address. My plan looked + promising enough at the time. But, as some wise person has said, Man is + the sport of circumstances. Mr. Pickup and I parted company unexpectedly, + on compulsion. And, of all the people in the world, my grandmother, Lady + Malkinshaw, was the unconscious first cause of the events which brought me + and the beloved object together again, for the third time! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. + </h2> + <p> + ON the next day, I was introduced to the Jew’s workshop, and to the + eminent gentlemen occupying it. My model Rembrandt was put before me; the + simple elementary rules were explained; and my materials were all placed + under my hands. + </p> + <p> + Regard for the lovers of the Old Masters, and for the moral well-being of + society, forbids me to be particular about the nature of my labors, or to + go into dangerous detail on the subject of my first failures and my + subsequent success. I may, however, harmlessly admit that my Rembrandt was + to be of the small or cabinet size, and that, as there was a run on + Burgomasters just then, my subject was naturally to be of the Burgomaster + sort. Three parts of my picture consisted entirely of different shades of + dirty brown and black; the fourth being composed of a ray of yellow light + falling upon the wrinkled face of a treacle-colored old man. A dim glimpse + of a hand, and a faint suggestion of something like a brass washhand + basin, completed the job, which gave great satisfaction to Mr. Pickup, and + which was described in the catalogue as— + </p> + <p> + “A Burgomaster at Breakfast. Originally in the collection of Mynheer Van + Grubb. Amsterdam. A rare example of the master. Not engraved. The + chiar’oscuro in this extraordinary work is of a truly sublime character. + Price, Two Hundred Guineas.” + </p> + <p> + I got five pounds for it. I suppose Mr. Pickup got one-ninety-five. + </p> + <p> + This was perhaps not very encouraging as a beginning, in a pecuniary point + of view. But I was to get five pounds more, if my Rembrandt sold within a + given time. It sold a week after it was in a fit state to be trusted in + the showroom. I got my money, and began enthusiastically on another + Rembrandt—“A Burgomaster’s Wife Poking the Fire.” Last time, the + chiar’oscuro of the master had been yellow and black, this time it was to + be red and black. I was just on the point of forcing my way into Mr. + Pickup’s confidence, as I had resolved, when a catastrophe happened, which + shut up the shop and abruptly terminated my experience as a maker of Old + Masters. + </p> + <p> + “The Burgomaster’s Breakfast” had been sold to a new customer, a venerable + connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large picture-gallery. The + old gentleman was in raptures with the picture—with its tone, with + its breadth, with its grand feeling for effect, with its simple treatment + of detail. It wanted nothing, in his opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. + Pickup knew the raw and ticklish state of the surface, however, far too + well, to allow of even an attempt at performing this process, and solemnly + asserted, that he was acquainted with no cleansing preparation which could + be used on the Rembrandt without danger of “flaying off the last exquisite + glazings of the immortal master’s brush.” The old gentleman was quite + satisfied with this reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away + his purchase in his own carriage on the spot. + </p> + <p> + For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that time, a + Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer’s office, terrified us + all by the information that a gentleman related to our venerable + connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had pronounced it to be an impudent + counterfeit, and had engaged on his own account to have the picture tested + in a court of law, and to charge the seller and maker thereof with + conspiring to obtain money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I looked + at each other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable piece of + news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my faculties first; + and I was the man who solved that important and difficult question, while + the rest were still utterly bewildered by it. “Will you promise me five + and twenty pounds in the presence of these gentlemen if I get you out of + this scrape?” said I to my terrified employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his + dirty hands and answered, “Yesh, my dear!” + </p> + <p> + Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office of the + lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case against us; and he was + able to tell me some of the things I most wanted to know in relation to + the picture. + </p> + <p> + I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our customer’s + possession. The old gentleman had consented to the question of its + genuineness being tried, but had far too high an idea of his own knowledge + as a connoisseur to incline to the opinion that he had been taken in. His + suspicious relative was not staying in the house, but was in the habit of + visiting him, every day, in the forenoon. That was as much as I wanted to + know from others. The rest depended on myself, on luck, time, human + credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge which I had acquired in + the days of my medical studies. I left the conclave at the + picture-dealer’s forthwith, and purchased at the nearest druggist’s a + bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I decline to + particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the bottle “The Amsterdam + Cleansing Compound”; and I wrapped round it the following note: + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Pickup’s respectful compliments to Mr.—(let us say, Green). Is + rejoiced to state that he finds himself unexpectedly able to forward Mr. + Green’s views relative to the cleaning of ‘The Burgomaster’s Breakfast.’ + The inclosed compound has just reached him from Amsterdam. It is made from + a recipe found among the papers of Rembrandt himself—has been used + with the most astonishing results on the Master’s pictures in every + gallery of Holland, and is now being applied to the surface of the largest + Rembrandt in Mr. P.‘s own collection. Directions for use: Lay the picture + flat, pour the whole contents of the bottle over it gently, so as to flood + the entire surface; leave the liquid on the surface for six hours, then + wipe it off briskly with a soft cloth of as large a size as can be + conveniently used. The effect will be the most wonderful removal of all + dirt, and a complete and brilliant metamorphosis of the present dingy + surface of the picture.” + </p> + <p> + I left this note and the bottle myself at two o’clock that day; then went + home, and confidently awaited the result. + </p> + <p> + The next morning our friend from the office called, announcing himself by + a burst of laughter outside the door. Mr. Green had implicitly followed + the directions in the letter the moment he received it—had allowed + the “Amsterdam Cleansing Compound” to remain on the Rembrandt until eight + o’clock in the evening—had called for the softest linen cloth in the + whole house—and had then, with his own venerable hands, carefully + wiped off the compound, and with it the whole surface of the picture! The + brown, the black, the Burgomaster, the breakfast, and the ray of yellow + light, all came clean off together in considerably less than a minute of + time. If the picture, was brought into court now, the evidence it could + give against us was limited to a bit of plain panel, and a mass of black + pulp rolled up in a duster. + </p> + <p> + Our line of defense was, of course, that the compound had been improperly + used. For the rest, we relied with well-placed confidence on the want of + evidence against us. Mr. Pickup wisely closed his shop for a while, and + went off to the Continent to ransack the foreign galleries. I received my + five and twenty pounds, rubbed out the beginning of my second Rembrandt, + closed the back door of the workshop behind me, and there was another + scene of my life at an end. I had but one circumstance to regret—and + I did regret it bitterly. I was still as ignorant as ever of the young + lady’s name and address. + </p> + <p> + My first visit was to the studio of my excellent artist-friend, whom I + have already presented to the reader under the sympathetic name of “Dick.” + He greeted me with a letter in his hand. It was addressed to me—it + had been left at the studio a few days since; and (marvel of all marvels!) + the handwriting was Mr. Batterbury’s. Had this philanthropic man not done + befriending me even yet? Were there any present or prospective advantages + to be got out of him still? Read his letter, and judge. + </p> + <p> + “SIR—Although you have forfeited by your ungentlemanly conduct + toward myself, and your heartlessly mischievous reception of my dear wife, + all claim upon the forbearance of the most forbearing of your relatives, I + am disposed, from motives of regard for the tranquillity of Mrs. + Batterbury’s family, and of sheer good-nature so far as I am myself + concerned, to afford you one more chance of retrieving your position by + leading a respectable life. The situation I am enabled to offer you is + that of secretary to a new Literary and Scientific Institution, about to + be opened in the town of Duskydale, near which neighborhood I possess, as + you must be aware, some landed property. The office has been placed at my + disposal, as vice-president of the new Institution. The salary is fifty + pounds a year, with apartments on the attic-floor of the building. The + duties are various, and will be explained to you by the local committee, + if you choose to present yourself to them with the inclosed letter of + introduction. After the unscrupulous manner in which you have imposed on + my liberality by deceiving me into giving you fifty pounds for an + audacious caricature of myself, which it is impossible to hang up in any + room of the house, I think this instance of my forgiving disposition still + to befriend you, after all that has happened, ought to appeal to any + better feelings that you may still have left, and revive the long dormant + emotions of repentance and self-reproach, when you think on your obedient + servant, + </p> + <p> + “DANIEL BATTERBURY.” + </p> + <p> + Bless me! What A long-winded style, and what a fuss about fifty pounds a + year, and a bed in an attic! These were naturally the first emotions which + Mr. Batterbury’s letter produced in me. What was his real motive for + writing it? I hope nobody will do me so great an injustice as to suppose + that I hesitated for one instant about the way of finding <i>that</i> out. + Of course I started off directly to inquire if Lady Malkinshaw had had + another narrow escape of dying before me. + </p> + <p> + “Much better, sir,” answered my grandmother’s venerable butler, wiping his + lips carefully before he spoke; “her ladyship’s health has been much + improved since her accident.” + </p> + <p> + “Accident!” I exclaimed. “What, another? Lately? Stairs again?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir; the drawing-room window this time,” answered the butler, with + semi-tipsy gravity. “Her ladyship’s sight having been defective of late + years, occasions her some difficulty in calculating distances. Three days + ago, her ladyship went to look out of the window, and, miscalculating the + distance—” Here the butler, with a fine dramatic feeling for telling + a story, stopped just before the climax of the narrative, and looked me in + the face with an expression of the deepest sympathy. + </p> + <p> + “And miscalculating the distance?” I repeated impatiently. + </p> + <p> + “Put her head through a pane of glass,” said the butler, in a soft voice + suited to the pathetic nature of the communication. “By great good fortune + her ladyship had been dressed for the day, and had got her turban on. This + saved her ladyship’s head. But her ladyship’s neck, sir, had a very narrow + escape. A bit of the broken glass wounded it within half a quarter of an + inch of the carotty artery” (meaning, probably, carotid); “I heard the + medical gentleman say, and shall never forget it to my dying day, that her + ladyship’s life had been saved by a hair-breadth. As it was, the blood + lost (the medical gentleman said that, too, sir) was accidentally of the + greatest possible benefit, being apoplectic, in the way of clearing out + the system. Her ladyship’s appetite has been improved ever since—the + carriage is out airing of her at this very moment—likewise, she + takes the footman’s arm and the maid’s up and downstairs now, which she + never would hear of before this last accident. ‘I feel ten years younger’ + (those were her ladyship’s own words to me, this very day), ‘I feel ten + years younger, Vokins, since I broke the drawing-room window.’ And her + ladyship looks it!” + </p> + <p> + No doubt. Here was the key to Mr. Batterbury’s letter of forgiveness. His + chance of receiving the legacy looked now further off than ever; he could + not feel the same confidence as his wife in my power of living down any + amount of starvation and adversity; and he was, therefore, quite ready to + take the first opportunity of promoting my precious personal welfare and + security, of which he could avail himself, without spending a farthing of + money. I saw it all clearly, and admired the hereditary toughness of the + Malkinshaw family more gratefully than ever. What should I do? Go to + Duskydale? Why not? It didn’t matter to me where I went, now that I had no + hope of ever seeing those lovely brown eyes again. + </p> + <p> + I got to my new destination the next day, presented my credentials, gave + myself the full advantage of my high connections, and was received with + enthusiasm and distinction. + </p> + <p> + I found the new Institution torn by internal schisms even before it was + opened to the public. Two factious governed it—a grave faction and a + gay faction. Two questions agitated it: the first referring to the + propriety of celebrating the opening season by a public ball, and the + second to the expediency of admitting novels into the library. The grim + Puritan interest of the whole neighborhood was, of course, on the grave + side—against both dancing and novels, as proposed by local loose + thinkers and latitudinarians of every degree. I was officially introduced + to the debate at the height of the squabble; and found myself one of a + large party in a small room, sitting round a long table, each man of us + with a new pewter inkstand, a new quill pen, and a clean sheet of foolscap + paper before him. Seeing that everybody spoke, I got on my legs along with + the rest, and made a slashing speech on the loose-thinking side. I was + followed by the leader of the grim faction—an unlicked curate of the + largest dimensions. + </p> + <p> + “If there were, so to speak, no other reason against dancing,” said my + reverend opponent, “there is one unanswerable objection to it. Gentlemen! + John the Baptist lost his head through dancing!”’ + </p> + <p> + Every man of the grim faction hammered delightedly on the table, as that + formidable argument was produced; and the curate sat down in triumph. I + jumped up to reply, amid the counter-cheering of the loose-thinkers; but + before I could say a word the President of the Institution and the rector + of the parish came into the room. + </p> + <p> + They were both men of authority, men of sense, and fathers of charming + daughters, and they turned the scale on the right side in no time. The + question relating to the admission of novels was postponed, and the + question of dancing or no dancing was put to the vote on the spot. The + President, the rector and myself, the three handsomest and highest-bred + men in the assembly, led the way on the liberal side, waggishly warning + all gallant gentlemen present to beware of disappointing the young ladies. + This decided the waverers, and the waverers decided the majority. My first + business, as Secretary, was the drawing out of a model card of admission + to the ball. + </p> + <p> + My next occupation was to look at the rooms provided for me. + </p> + <p> + The Duskydale Institution occupied a badly-repaired ten-roomed house, with + a great flimsy saloon built at one side of it, smelling of paint and damp + plaster, and called the Lecture Theater. It was the chilliest, ugliest, + emptiest, gloomiest place I ever entered in my life; the idea of doing + anything but sitting down and crying in it seemed to me quite + preposterous; but the committee took a different view of the matter, and + praised the Lecture Theater as a perfect ballroom. The Secretary’s + apartments were two garrets, asserting themselves in the most barefaced + manner, without an attempt at disguise. If I had intended to do more than + earn my first quarter’s salary, I should have complained. But as I had not + the slightest intention of remaining at Duskydale, I could afford to + establish a reputation for amiability by saying nothing. + </p> + <p> + “Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A most distinguished person, + and quite an acquisition to the neighborhood.” Such was the popular + opinion of me among the young ladies and the liberal inhabitants. “Have + you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A worldly, vainglorious young man. + The last person in England to promote the interests of our new + Institution.” Such was the counter-estimate of me among the Puritan + population. I report both opinions quite disinterestedly. There is + generally something to be said on either side of every question; and, as + for me, I can always hold up the scales impartially, even when my own + character is the substance weighing in them. Readers of ancient history + need not be reminded, at this time of day, that there may be Roman virtue + even in a Rogue. + </p> + <p> + The objects, interests, and general business of the Duskydale Institution + were matters with which I never thought of troubling myself on assuming + the duties of Secretary. All my energies were given to the arrangements + connected with the opening ball. + </p> + <p> + I was elected by acclamation to the office of general manager of the + entertainments; and I did my best to deserve the confidence reposed in me; + leaving literature and science, so far as I was concerned, perfectly at + liberty to advance themselves or not, just as they liked. Whatever my + colleagues may have done, after I left them, nobody at Duskydale can + accuse me of having ever been accessory to the disturbing of quiet people + with useful knowledge. I took the arduous and universally neglected duty + of teaching the English people how to be amused entirely on my own + shoulders, and left the easy and customary business of making them + miserable to others. + </p> + <p> + My unhappy countrymen! (and thrice unhappy they of the poorer sort)—any + man can preach to them, lecture to them, and form them into classes—but + where is the man who can get them to amuse themselves? Anybody may cram + their poor heads; but who will brighten their grave faces? Don’t read + story-books, don’t go to plays, don’t dance! Finish your long day’s work + and then intoxicate your minds with solid history, revel in the + too-attractive luxury of the lecture-room, sink under the soft temptation + of classes for mutual instruction! How many potent, grave and reverent + tongues discourse to the popular ear in these siren strains, and how + obediently and resignedly this same weary popular ear listens! What if a + bold man spring up one day, crying aloud in our social wilderness, “Play, + for Heaven’s sake, or you will work yourselves into a nation of + automatons! Shake a loose leg to a lively fiddle! Women of England! drag + the lecturer off the rostrum, and the male mutual instructor out of the + class, and ease their poor addled heads of evenings by making them dance + and sing with you. Accept no offer from any man who cannot be proved, for + a year past, to have systematically lost his dignity at least three times + a week, after office hours. You, daughters of Eve, who have that wholesome + love of pleasure which is one of the greatest adornments of the female + character, set up a society for the promotion of universal amusement, and + save the British nation from the lamentable social consequences of its own + gravity!” Imagine a voice crying lustily after this fashion—what + sort of echoes would it find?—Groans? + </p> + <p> + I know what sort of echoes my voice found. They were so discouraging to + me, and to the frivolous minority of pleasure-seekers, that I recommended + lowering the price of admission so as to suit the means of any decent + people who were willing to leave off money-grubbing and tear themselves + from the charms of mutual instruction for one evening at least. The + proposition was indignantly negatived by the managers of the Institution. + I am so singularly obstinate a man that I was not to be depressed even by + this. + </p> + <p> + My next efforts to fill the ballroom could not be blamed. I procured a + local directory, put fifty tickets in my pocket, dressed myself in nankeen + pantaloons and a sky-blue coat (then the height of fashion), and set forth + to tout for dancers among all the members of the genteel population, who, + not being notorious Puritans, had also not been so obliging as to take + tickets for the ball. There never was any pride or bashfulness about me. + Excepting certain periods of suspense and anxiety, I am as even-tempered a + Rogue as you have met with anywhere since the days of Gil Blas. + </p> + <p> + My temperament being opposed to doing anything with regularity, I opened + the directory at hazard, and determined to make my first call at the first + house that caught my eye. Vallombrosa Vale Cottages. No. 1. Doctor and + Miss Dulcifer. Very good. I have no preferences. Let me sell the first two + tickets there. I found the place; I opened the garden gate; I advanced to + the door, innocently wondering what sort of people I should find inside. + </p> + <p> + If I am asked what was the true reason for this extraordinary activity on + my part, in serving the interests of a set of people for whom I cared + nothing, I must honestly own that the loss of my young lady was at the + bottom of it. Any occupation was welcome which kept my mind, in some + degree at least, from dwelling on the bitter disappointment that had + befallen me. When I rang the bell at No. 1, did I feel no presentiment of + the exquisite surprise in store for me? I felt nothing of the sort. The + fact is, my digestion is excellent. Presentiments are more closely + connected than is generally supposed with a weak state of stomach. + </p> + <p> + I asked for Miss Dulcifer, and was shown into the sitting-room. + </p> + <p> + Don’t expect me to describe my sensations: hundreds of sensations flew all + over me. There she was, sitting alone, near the window! There she was, + with nimble white fingers, working a silk purse! + </p> + <p> + The melancholy in her face and manner, when I had last seen her, appeared + no more. She was prettily dressed in maize color, and the room was well + furnished. Her father had evidently got over his difficulties. I had been + inclined to laugh at his odd name, when I found it in the directory! Now I + began to dislike it, because it was her name, too. It was a consolation to + remember that she could change it. Would she change it for mine? + </p> + <p> + I was the first to recover; I boldly drew a chair near her and took her + hand. + </p> + <p> + “You see,” I said, “it is of no use to try to avoid me. This is the third + time we have met. Will you receive me as a visitor, under these + extraordinary circumstances? Will you give me a little happiness to + compensate for what I have suffered since you left me?” + </p> + <p> + She smiled and blushed. + </p> + <p> + “I am so surprised,” she answered, “I don’t know what to say.” + </p> + <p> + “Disagreeably surprised?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + She first went on with her work, and then replied (a little sadly, as I + thought): + </p> + <p> + “No!” + </p> + <p> + I was ready enough to take advantage of my opportunities this time; but + she contrived with perfect politeness to stop me. She seemed to remember + with shame, poor soul, the circumstances under which I had last seen her. + </p> + <p> + “How do you come to be at Duskydale?” she inquired, abruptly changing the + subject. “And how did you find us out here?” + </p> + <p> + While I was giving her the necessary explanations her father came in. I + looked at him with considerable curiosity. + </p> + <p> + A tall stout gentleman with impressive respectability oozing out of him at + every pore—with a swelling outline of black-waistcoated stomach, + with a lofty forehead, with a smooth double chin resting pulpily on a + white cravat. Everything in harmony about him except his eyes, and these + were so sharp, bright and resolute that they seemed to contradict the + bland conventionality which overspread all the rest of the man. Eyes with + wonderful intelligence and self-dependence in them; perhaps, also, with + something a little false in them, which I might have discovered + immediately under ordinary circumstances: but I looked at the doctor + through the medium of his daughter, and saw nothing of him at the first + glance but his merits. + </p> + <p> + “We are both very much indebted to you, sir, for your politeness in + calling,” he said, with excessive civility of manner. “But our stay at + this place has drawn to an end. I only came here for the re-establishment + of my daughter’s health. She has benefited greatly by the change of air, + and we have arranged to return home to-morrow. Otherwise, we should have + gladly profited by your kind offer of tickets for the ball.” + </p> + <p> + Of course I had one eye on the young lady while he was speaking. She was + looking at her father, and a sudden sadness was stealing over her face. + What did it mean? Disappointment at missing the ball? No, it was a much + deeper feeling than that. My interest was excited. I addressed a + complimentary entreaty to the doctor not to take his daughter away from + us. I asked him to reflect on the irreparable eclipse that he would be + casting over the Duskydale ballroom. To my amazement, she only looked down + gloomily on her work while I spoke; her father laughed contemptuously. + </p> + <p> + “We are too completely strangers here,” he said, “for our loss to be felt + by any one. From all that I can gather, society in Duskydale will be glad + to hear of our departure. I beg your pardon, Alicia—I ought to have + said <i>my</i> departure.” + </p> + <p> + Her name was Alicia! I declare it was a luxury to me to hear it—the + name was so appropriate, so suggestive of the grace and dignity of her + beauty. + </p> + <p> + I turned toward her when the doctor had done. She looked more gloomily + than before. I protested against the doctor’s account of himself. He + laughed again, with a quick distrustful lo ok, this time, at his daughter. + </p> + <p> + “If you were to mention my name among your respectable inhabitants,” he + went on, with a strong, sneering emphasis on the word respectable, “they + would most likely purse up their lips and look grave at it. Since I gave + up practice as a physician, I have engaged in chemical investigations on a + large scale, destined I hope, to lead to some important public results. + Until I arrive at these, I am necessarily obliged, in my own interests, to + keep my experiments secret, and to impose similar discretion on the + workmen whom I employ. This unavoidable appearance of mystery, and the + strictly retired life which my studies compel me to lead, offend the + narrow-minded people in my part of the county, close to Barkingham; and + the unpopularity of my pursuits has followed me here. The general opinion, + I believe, is, that I am seeking by unholy arts for the philosopher’s + stone. Plain man, as you see me, I find myself getting quite the + reputation of a Doctor Faustus in the popular mind. Even educated people + in this very place shake their heads and pity my daughter there for living + with an alchemical parent, within easy smelling-distance of an explosive + laboratory. Excessively absurd, is it not?” + </p> + <p> + It might have been excessively absurd, but the lovely Alicia sat with her + eyes on her work, looking as if it were excessively sad, and not giving + her father the faintest answering smile when he glanced toward her and + laughed, as he said his last words. I could not at all tell what to make + of it. The doctor talked of the social consequences of his chemical + inquiries as if he were living in the middle ages. However, I was far too + anxious to see the charming brown eyes again to ask questions which would + be sure to keep them cast down. So I changed the topic to chemistry in + general; and, to the doctor’s evident astonishment and pleasure, told him + of my own early studies in the science. + </p> + <p> + This led to the mention of my father, whose reputation had reached the + ears of Doctor Dulcifer. As he told me that, his daughter looked up—the + sun of beauty shone on me again! I touched next on my high connections, + and on Lady Malkinshaw; I described myself as temporarily banished from + home for humorous caricaturing, and amiable youthful wildness. She was + interested; she smiled—and the sun of beauty shone warmer than ever! + I diverged to general topics, and got brilliant and amusing. She laughed—the + nightingale notes of her merriment bubbled into my ears caressingly—why + could I not shut my eyes and listen to them? Her color rose; her face grew + animated. Poor soul! A little lively company was but too evidently a rare + treat to her. Under such circumstances, who would not be amusing? If she + had said to me, “Mr. Softly, I like tumbling,” I should have made a clown + of myself on the spot. I should have stood on my head (if I could), and + been amply rewarded for the graceful exertion, if the eyes of Alicia had + looked kindly on my elevated heels! + </p> + <p> + How long I stayed is more than I can tell. Lunch came up. I eat and drank, + and grew more amusing than ever. When I at last rose to go, the brown eyes + looked on me very kindly, and the doctor gave me his card. + </p> + <p> + “If you don’t mind trusting yourself in the clutches of Doctor Faustus,” + he said, with a gay smile, “I shall be delighted to see you if you are + ever in the neighborhood of Barkingham.” + </p> + <p> + I wrung his hand, mentally relinquishing my secretaryship while I thanked + him for the invitation. I put out my hand next to his daughter, and the + dear friendly girl met the advance with the most charming readiness. She + gave me a good, hearty, vigorous, uncompromising shake. O precious right + hand! never did I properly appreciate your value until that moment. + </p> + <p> + Going out with my head in the air, and my senses in the seventh heaven, I + jostled an elderly gentleman passing before the garden gate. I turned + round to apologize; it was my brother in office, the estimable Treasurer + of the Duskydale Institute. + </p> + <p> + “I have been half over the town looking after you,” he said. “The Managing + Committee, on reflection, consider your plan of personally soliciting + public attendance at the hall to be compromising the dignity of the + Institution, and beg you, therefore, to abandon it.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said I, “there is no harm done. Thus far, I have only + solicited two persons, Doctor and Miss Dulcifer, in that delightful little + cottage there.” + </p> + <p> + “You don’t mean to say you have asked <i>them</i> to come to the ball!” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure I have. And I am sorry to say they can’t accept the + invitation. Why should they not be asked?” + </p> + <p> + “Because nobody visits them.” + </p> + <p> + “And why should nobody visit them?” + </p> + <p> + The Treasurer put his arm confidentially through mine, and walked me on a + few steps. + </p> + <p> + “In the first place,” he said, “Doctor Dulcifer’s name is not down in the + Medical List.” + </p> + <p> + “Some mistake,” I suggested, in my off-hand way. “Or some foreign doctor’s + degree not recognized by the prejudiced people in England.” + </p> + <p> + “In the second place,” continued the Treasurer, “we have found out that he + is not visited at Barkingham. Consequently, it would be the height of + imprudence to visit him here.” + </p> + <p> + “Pooh! pooh! All the nonsense of narrow-minded people, because he lives a + retired life, and is engaged in finding out chemical secrets which the + ignorant public don’t know how to appreciate.” + </p> + <p> + “The shutters are always up in the front top windows of his house at + Barkingham,” said the Treasurer, lowering his voice mysteriously. “I know + it from a friend resident near him. The windows themselves are barred. It + is currently reported that the top of the house, inside, is shut off by + iron doors from the bottom. Workmen are employed there who don’t belong to + the neighborhood, who don’t drink at the public houses, who only associate + with each other. Unfamiliar smells and noises find their way outside + sometimes. Nobody in the house can be got to talk. The doctor, as he calls + himself, does not even make an attempt to get into society, does not even + try to see company for the sake of his poor unfortunate daughter. What do + you think of all that?” + </p> + <p> + “Think!” I repeated contemptuously; “I think the inhabitants of Barkingham + are the best finders of mares’ nests in all England. The doctor is making + important chemical discoveries (the possible value of which I can + appreciate, being chemical myself), and he is not quite fool enough to + expose valuable secrets to the view of all the world. His laboratory is at + the top of the house, and he wisely shuts it off from the bottom to + prevent accidents. He is one of the best fellows I ever met with, and his + daughter is the loveliest girl in the world. What do you all mean by + making mysteries about nothing? He has given me an invitation to go and + see him. I suppose the next thing you will find out is, that there is + something underhand even in that?” + </p> + <p> + “You won’t accept the invitation?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall, at the very first opportunity; and if you had seen Miss Alicia, + so would you.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t go. Take my advice and don’t go,” said the Treasurer, gravely. “You + are a young man. Reputable friends are of importance to you at the outset + of life. I say nothing against Doctor Dulcifer—he came here as a + stranger, and he goes away again as a stranger—but you can’t be sure + that his purpose in asking you so readily to his house is a harmless one. + Making a new acquaintance is always a doubtful speculation; but when a man + is not visited by his respectable neighbors—” + </p> + <p> + “Because he doesn’t open his shutters,” I interposed sarcastically. + </p> + <p> + “Because there are doubts about him and his house which he will not clear + up,” retorted the Treasurer. “You can take your own way. You may turn out + right, and we may all be wrong; I can only say again, it is rash to make + doubtful acquaintances. Sooner or later you are always sure to repent it. + In your place I should certainly not accept the invitation.” + </p> + <p> + “In my place, my dear sir,” I answered, “you would do exactly what I mean + to do.” + </p> + <p> + The Treasurer took his arm out of mine, and without saying another word, + wished me good-morning. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. + </h2> + <p> + I HAD spoken confidently enough, while arguing the question of Doctor + Dulcifer’s respectability with the Treasurer of the D uskydale + Institution; but, if my perceptions had not been blinded by my + enthusiastic admiration for Alicia, I think I should have secretly + distrusted my own opinion as soon as I was left by myself. Had I been in + full possession of my senses, I might have questioned, on reflection, + whether the doctor’s method of accounting for the suspicions which kept + his neighbors aloof from him, was quite satisfactory. Love is generally + described, I believe, as the tender passion. When I remember the + insidiously relaxing effect of it on all my faculties, I feel inclined to + alter the popular definition, and to call it a moral vapor-bath. + </p> + <p> + What the Managing Committee of the Duskydale Institution thought of the + change in me, I cannot imagine. The doctor and his daughter left the town + on the day they had originally appointed, before I could make any excuse + for calling again; and, as a necessary consequence of their departure, I + lost all interest in the affairs of the ball, and yawned in the faces of + the committee when I was obliged to be present at their deliberations in + my official capacity. + </p> + <p> + It was all Alicia with me, whatever they did. I read the Minutes through a + soft medium of maize-colored skirts. Notes of melodious laughter bubbled, + in my mind’s ear, through all the drawling and stammering of our + speech-making members. When our dignified President thought he had caught + my eye, and made oratorical overtures to me from the top of the table, I + was lost in the contemplation of silk purses and white fingers weaving + them. I meant “Alicia” when I said “hear, hear”—and when I + officially produced my subscription list, it was all aglow with the + roseate hues of the marriage-license. If any unsympathetic male readers + should think this statement exaggerated, I appeal to the ladies—<i>they</i> + will appreciate the rigid, yet tender, truth of it. + </p> + <p> + The night of the ball came. I have nothing but the vaguest recollection of + it. + </p> + <p> + I remember that the more the perverse lecture theater was warmed the more + persistently it smelled of damp plaster; and that the more brightly it was + lighted, the more overgrown and lonesome it looked. I can recall to mind + that the company assembled numbered about fifty, the room being big enough + to hold three hundred. I have a vision still before me, of twenty out of + these fifty guests, solemnly executing intricate figure-dances, under the + superintendence of an infirm local dancing-master—a mere speck of + fidgety human wretchedness twisting about in the middle of an empty floor. + I see, faintly, down the dim vista of the Past, an agreeable figure, like + myself, with a cocked hat under its arm, black tights on its lightly + tripping legs, a rosette in its buttonhole, and an engaging smile on its + face, walking from end to end of the room, in the character of Master of + the Ceremonies. These visions and events I can recall vaguely; and with + them my remembrances of the ball come to a close. It was a complete + failure, and that would, of itself, have been enough to sicken me of + remaining at the Duskydale Institution, even if I had not had any reasons + of the tender sort for wishing to extend my travels in rural England to + the neighborhood of Barkingham. + </p> + <p> + The difficulty was how to find a decent pretext for getting away. + Fortunately, the Managing Committee relieved me of any perplexity on this + head, by passing a resolution, one day, which called upon the President to + remonstrate with me on my want of proper interest in the affairs of the + Institution. I replied to the remonstrance that the affairs of the + Institution were so hopelessly dull that it was equally absurd and unjust + to expect any human being to take the smallest interest in them. At this + there arose an indignant cry of “Resign!” from the whole committee; to + which I answered politely, that I should be delighted to oblige the + gentlemen, and to go forthwith, on condition of receiving a quarter’s + salary in the way of previous compensation. + </p> + <p> + After a sordid opposition from an economical minority, my condition of + departure was accepted. I wrote a letter of resignation, received in + exchange twelve pounds ten shillings, and took my place, that same day, on + the box-seat of the Barkingham mail. + </p> + <p> + Rather changeable this life of mine, was it not? Before I was twenty-five + years of age, I had tried doctoring, caricaturing portrait-painting, old + picture-making, and Institution-managing; and now, with the help of + Alicia, I was about to try how a little marrying would suit me. Surely, + Shakespeare must have had me prophetically in his eye, when he wrote about + “one man in his time playing many parts.” What a character I should have + made for him, if he had only been alive now! + </p> + <p> + I found out from the coachman, among other matters, that there was a + famous fishing stream near Barkingham; and the first thing I did, on + arriving at the town, was to buy a rod and line. + </p> + <p> + It struck me that my safest way of introducing myself would be to tell + Doctor Dulcifer that I had come to the neighborhood for a little fishing, + and so to prevent him from fancying that I was suspiciously prompt in + availing myself of his offered hospitality. I put up, of course, at the + inn—stuck a large parchment book of flies half in and half out of + the pocket of my shooting-jacket—and set off at once to the + doctor’s. The waiter of whom I asked my way stared distrustfully while he + directed me. The people at the inn had evidently heard of my new friend, + and were not favorably disposed toward the cause of scientific + investigation. + </p> + <p> + The house stood about a mile out of the town, in a dip of ground near the + famous fishing-stream. It was a lonely, old-fashioned red-brick building, + surrounded by high walls, with a garden and plantation behind it. + </p> + <p> + As I rang at the gate-bell, I looked up at the house. Sure enough all the + top windows in front were closed with shutters and barred. I was let in by + a man in livery; who, however, in manners and appearance, looked much more + like a workman in disguise than a footman. He had a very suspicious eye, + and he fixed it on me unpleasantly when I handed him my card. + </p> + <p> + I was shown into a morning-room exactly like other morning-rooms in + country houses. + </p> + <p> + After a long delay the doctor came in, with scientific butchers’ sleeves + on his arms, and an apron tied round his portly waist. He apologized for + coming down in his working dress, and said everything that was civil and + proper about the pleasure of unexpectedly seeing me again so soon. There + was something rather preoccupied, I thought, in those brightly resolute + eyes of his; but I naturally attributed it to the engrossing influence of + his scientific inquiries. He was evidently not at all taken in by my story + about coming to Barkingham to fish; but he saw, as well as I did, that it + would do to keep up appearances, and contrived to look highly interested + immediately in my parchment-book. I asked after his daughter. He said she + was in the garden, and proposed that we should go and find her. We did + find her, with a pair of scissors in her hand, outblooming the flowers + that she was trimming. She looked really glad to see me—her brown + eyes beamed clear and kindly—she gave my hand another inestimable + shake—the summer breezes waved her black curls gently upward from + her waist—she had on a straw hat and a brown Holland gardening + dress. I eyed it with all the practical interest of a linendraper. O Brown + Holland you are but a coarse and cheap fabric, yet how soft and priceless + you look when clothing the figure of Alicia! + </p> + <p> + I lunched with them. The doctor recurred to the subject of my angling + intentions, and asked his daughter if she had heard what parts of the + stream at Barkingham were best for fishing in. + </p> + <p> + She replied, with a mixture of modest evasiveness and adorable simplicity, + that she had sometimes seen gentlemen angling from a meadow-bank about a + quarter of a mile below her flower-garden. I risked everything in my usual + venturesome way, and asked if she would show me where the place was, in + case I called the next morning with my fishing-rod. She looked dutifully + at her father. He smiled and nodded. Inestimable parent! + </p> + <p> + On rising to take leave, I was rather curious to know whether he would + offer me a bed in the house, or not. He detected the direction of my + thoughts in my face and manner, and apologized for not having a bed to + offer me; every spare room in the house being occupied by his chemical + assistants, and by the lumber of laboratories. Even while he was speaking + those few words, Alicia’s face changed just as I had seen it change at our + first interview. The downcast, gloomy expression overspread it again. Her + father’s eye wandered toward her when mine did, and suddenly assumed the + same distrustful look which I remembered detecting in it, under similar + circumstances, at Duskydale. What could this mean? + </p> + <p> + The doctor shook hands with me in the hall, leaving the workman-like + footman to open the door. + </p> + <p> + I stopped to admire a fine pair of stag’s antlers. The footman coughed + impatiently. I still lingered, hearing the doctor’s footsteps ascending + the stairs. They suddenly stopped; and then there was a low heavy clang, + like the sound of a closing door made of iron, or of some other unusually + strong material; then total silence, interrupted by another impatient + cough from the workman-like footman. After that, I thought my wisest + proceeding would be to go away before my mysterious attendant was driven + to practical extremities. + </p> + <p> + Between thoughts of Alicia, and inquisitive yearnings to know more about + the doctor’s experiments, I passed rather a restless night at my inn. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, I found the lovely mistress of my destiny, with the + softest of shawls on her shoulders, the brightest of parasols in her hand, + and the smart little straw hat of the day before on her head, ready to + show me the way to the fishing-place. If I could be sure beforehand that + these pages would only be read by persons actually occupied in the making + of love—that oldest and longest-established of all branches of + manufacturing industry—I could go into some very tender and + interesting particulars on the subject of my first day’s fishing, under + the adorable auspices of Alicia. But as I cannot hope for a wholly + sympathetic audience—as there may be monks, misogynists, political + economists, and other professedly hard-hearted persons present among those + whom I now address—I think it best to keep to safe generalities, and + to describe my love-making in as few sentences as the vast, though soft, + importance of the subject will allow me to use. + </p> + <p> + Let me confess, then, that I assumed the character of a fastidious angler, + and managed to be a week in discovering the right place to fish in—always, + it is unnecessary to say, under Alicia’s guidance. We went up the stream + and down the stream, on one side. We crossed the bridge, and went up the + stream and down the stream on the other. We got into a punt, and went up + the stream (with great difficulty), and down the stream (with great ease). + We landed on a little island, and walked all round it, and inspected the + stream attentively from a central point of view. We found the island damp, + and went back to the bank, and up the stream, and over the bridge, and + down the stream again; and then, for the first time, the sweet girl turned + appealingly to me, and confessed that she had exhausted her artless + knowledge of the locality. It was exactly a week from the day when I had + first followed her into the fields with my fishing-rod over my shoulder; + and I had never yet caught anything but Alicia’s hand, and that not with + my hook. + </p> + <p> + We sat down close together on the bank, entirely in consequence of our + despair at not finding a good fishing-place. I looked at the brown eyes, + and they turned away observantly down the stream. I followed them, and + they turned away inquiringly up the stream. Was this angel of patience and + kindness still looking for a fishing place? And was it <i>up</i> the + stream, after all? No!—she smiled and shook her head when I asked + the question, and the brown eyes suddenly stole a look at me. I could hold + out no longer In one breathless moment I caught hold of both her hands—in + one stammering sentence I asked her if she would be my wife. + </p> + <p> + She tried faintly to free her hands—gave up the attempt—smiled—made + an effort to look grave—gave that up, too—sighed suddenly—checked + herself suddenly—said nothing. Perhaps I ought to have taken my + answer for granted; but the least business-like man that ever lived + becomes an eminently practical character in matters of love. I repeated my + question. She looked away confusedly; her eye lighted on a corner of her + father’s red-brick house, peeping through a gap in the plantation already + mentioned; and her blushing cheeks lost their color instantly. I felt her + hands grow cold; she drew them resolutely out of mine, and rose with the + tears in her eyes. Had I offended her? + </p> + <p> + “No,” she said when I asked her the question, and turned to me again, and + held out her hand with such frank, fearless kindness, that I almost fell + on my knees to thank her for it. + </p> + <p> + Might I hope ever to hear her say “Yes” to the question that I had asked + on the riverbank? + </p> + <p> + She sighed bitterly, and turned again toward the red-brick house. + </p> + <p> + Was there any family reason against her saying “Yes”? Anything that I must + not inquire into? Any opposition to be dreaded from her father? + </p> + <p> + The moment I mentioned her father, she shrank away from me and burst into + a violent fit of crying. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t speak of it again!” she said in a broken voice. “I mustn’t—you + mustn’t—ah, don’t, don’t say a word more about it! I’m not + distressed with you—it is not your fault. Don’t say anything—leave + me quiet for a minute. I shall soon be better it you leave me quiet.” + </p> + <p> + She dried her eyes directly, with a shiver as if it was cold, and took my + arm. I led her back to the house-gate; and then, feeling that I could not + go in to lunch as usual, after what had happened, said I would return to + the fishing-place. + </p> + <p> + “Shall I come to dinner this evening?” I asked, as I rang the gate-bell + for her. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes—yes!—do come, or he—” + </p> + <p> + The mysterious man-servant opened the door, and we parted before she could + say the next words. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. + </h2> + <p> + I WENT back to the fishing-place with a heavy heart, overcome by mournful + thoughts, for the first time in my life. It was plain that she did not + dislike me, and equally plain that there was some obstacle connected with + her father, which forbade her to listen to my offer of marriage. From the + time when she had accidentally looked toward the red-brick house, + something in her manner which it is quite impossible to describe, had + suggested to my mind that this obstacle was not only something she could + not mention, but something that she was partly ashamed of, partly afraid + of, and partly doubtful about. What could it be? How had she first known + it? In what way was her father connected with it? + </p> + <p> + In the course of our walks she had told me nothing about herself which was + not perfectly simple and unsuggestive. + </p> + <p> + Her childhood had been passed in England. After that, she had lived with + her father and mother at Paris, where the doctor had many friends—for + all of whom she remembered feeling more or less dislike, without being + able to tell why. They had then come to England, and had lived in lodgings + in London. For a time they had been miserably poor. But, after her + mother’s death—a sudden death from heart disease—there had + come a change in their affairs, which she was quite unable to explain. + They had removed to their present abode, to give the doctor full + accommodation for the carrying on of his scientific pursuits. He often had + occasion to go to London; but never took her with him. The only woman at + home now, beside herself, was an elderly person, who acted as cook and + housekeeper, and who had been in their service for many years. It was very + lonely sometimes not having a companion of her own age and sex; but she + had got tolerably used to bear it, and to amuse herself with her books, + and music, and flowers. + </p> + <p> + Thus far she chatted about herself quite freely; but when I tried, even in + the vaguest manner, to lead her into discussing the causes of her + strangely secluded life, she looked so distressed, and became so suddenly + silent, that I naturally refrained from saying another word on that topic. + One conclusion, however, I felt tolerably sure that I had drawn correctly + from what she said: her father’s conduct toward her, though not absolutely + blamable or grossly neglectful on any point, had still never been of a + nature to make her ardently fond of him. He performed the ordinary + parental duties rigidly and respectably enough; but he had apparently not + cared to win all the filial love which his daughter would have bestowed on + a more affectionate man. + </p> + <p> + When, after reflecting on what Alicia had told me, I began to call to mind + what I had been able to observe for myself, I found ample materials to + excite my curiosity in relation to the doctor, if not my distrust. + </p> + <p> + I have already described how I heard the clang of the heavy door, on the + occasion of my first visit to the red-brick house. The next day, when the + doctor again took leave of me in the hall, I hit on a plan for seeing the + door as well as hearing it. I dawdled on my way out, till I heard the + clang again; then pretended to remember some important message which I had + forgotten to give to the doctor, and with a look of innocent hurry ran + upstairs to overtake him. The disguised workman ran after me with a shout + of “Stop!” I was conveniently deaf to him—reached the first floor + landing—and arrived at a door which shut off the whole staircase + higher up; an iron door, as solid as if it belonged to a banker’s + strong-room, and guarded millions of money. I returned to the hall, + inattentive to the servant’s not over-civil remonstrances, and, saying + that I would wait till I saw the doctor again, left the house. + </p> + <p> + The next day two pale-looking men, in artisan costume, came up to the gate + at the same time as I did, each carrying a long wooden box under his arm, + strongly bound with iron. I tried to make them talk while we were waiting + for admission, but neither of them would go beyond “Yes,” or “No”; and + both had, to my eyes, some unmistakably sinister lines in their faces. The + next day the houskeeping cook came to the door—a buxom old woman + with a look and a ready smile, and something in her manner which suggested + that she had not begun life quite so respectably as she was now ending it. + She seemed to be decidedly satisfied with my personal appearance; talked + to me on indifferent matters with great glibness; but suddenly became + silent and diplomatic the moment I looked toward the stair and asked + innocently if she had to go up and down them often in the course of the + day. As for the doctor himself he was unapproachable on the subject of the + mysterious upper regions. If I introduced chemistry in general into the + conversation he begged me not to spoil his happy holiday hours with his + daughter and me, by leading him back to his work-a-day thoughts. If I + referred to his own experiments in particular he always made a joke about + being afraid of my chemical knowledge, and of my wishing to anticipate him + in his discoveries. In brief, after a week’s run of the lower regions, the + upper part of the red-brick house and the actual nature of its owner’s + occupations still remained impenetrable mysteries to me, pry, ponder, and + question as I might. + </p> + <p> + Thinking of this on the river-bank, in connection with the distressing + scene which I had just had with Alicia, I found that the mysterious + obstacle at which she had hinted, the mysterious life led by her father, + and the mysterious top of the house that had hitherto defied my curiosity, + all three connected themselves in my mind as links of the same chain. The + obstacle to my marrying Alicia was the thing that most troubled me. If I + only found out what it was, and if I made light of it (which I was + resolved beforehand to do, let it be what it might), I should most + probably end by overcoming her scruples, and taking her away from the + ominous red-brick house in the character of my wife. But how was I to make + the all-important discovery? + </p> + <p> + Cudgeling my brains for an answer to this question, I fell at last into + reasoning upon it, by a process of natural logic, something after this + fashion: The mysterious top of the house is connected with the doctor, and + the doctor is connected with the obstacle which has made wretchedness + between Alicia and me. If I can only get to the top of the house, I may + get also to the root of the obstacle. It is a dangerous and an uncertain + experiment; but, come what may of it, I will try and find out, if human + ingenuity can compass the means, what Doctor Dulcifer’s occupation really + is, on the other side of that iron door. + </p> + <p> + Having come to this resolution (and deriving, let me add, parenthetically, + great consolation from it), the next subject of consideration was the best + method of getting safely into the top regions of the house. + </p> + <p> + Picking the lock of the iron door was out of the question, from the + exposed nature of the situation which that mysterious iron barrier + occupied. My only possible way to the second floor lay by the back of the + house. I had looked up at it two or three times, while walking in the + garden after dinner with Alicia. What had I brought away in my memory as + the result of that casual inspection of my host’s back premises? Several + fragments of useful information. + </p> + <p> + In the first place, one of the most magnificent vines I had ever seen grew + against the back wall of the house, trained carefully on a strong + trellis-work. In the second place, the middle first-floor back window + looked out on a little stone balcony, built on the top of the porch over + the garden door. In the third place, the back windows of the second floor + had been open, on each occasion when I had seen them—most probably + to air the house, which could not be ventilated from the front during the + hot summer weather, in consequence of the shut-up condition of all the + windows thereabouts. In the fourth place, hard by the coach-house in which + Doctor Dulcifer’s neat gig was put up, there was a tool-shed, in which the + gardener kept his short pruning-ladder. In the fifth and last place, + outside the stable in which Doctor Dulcifer’s blood mare lived in + luxurious solitude, was a dog-kennel with a large mastiff chained to it + night and day. If I could only rid myself of the dog—a gaunt, + half-starved brute, made savage and mangy by perpetual confinement—I + did not see any reason to despair of getting in undiscovered at one of the + second-floor windows—provided I waited until a sufficiently late + hour, and succeeded in scaling the garden wall at the back of the house. + </p> + <p> + Life without Alicia being not worth having, I determined to risk the thing + that very night. + </p> + <p> + Going back at once to the town of Barkingham, I provided myself with a + short bit of rope, a little bull’s-eye lantern, a small screwdriver, and a + nice bit of beef chemically adapted for the soothing of troublesome dogs. + I then dressed, disposed of these things neatly in my coat pockets, and + went to the doctor’s to dinner. In one respect, Fortune favored my + audacity. It was the sultriest day of the whole season—surely they + could not think of shutting up the second-floor back windows to-night! + </p> + <p> + Alicia was pale and silent. The lovely brown eyes, when they looked at me, + said as plainly as in words, “We have been crying a great deal, Frank, + since we saw you last.” The little white fingers gave mine a significant + squeeze—and that was all the reference that passed between us to + what happened in the morning. She sat through the dinner bravely; but, + when the dessert came, left us for the night, with a few shy, hurried + words about the excessive heat of the weather being too much for her. I + rose to open the door, and exchanged a last meaning look with her, as she + bowed and went by me. Little did I think that I should have to live upon + nothing but the remembrance of that look for many weary days that were yet + to come. + </p> + <p> + The doctor was in excellent spirits, and almost oppressively hospitable. + We sat sociably chatting over our claret till past eight o’clock. Then my + host turned to his desk to write a letter before the post want out; and I + strolled away to smoke a cigar in the garden. + </p> + <p> + Second-floor back windows all open, atmosphere as sultry as ever, + gardener’s pruning-ladder quite safe in the tool-shed, savage mastiff in + his kennel crunching his bones for supper. Good. The dog will not be + visited again tonight: I may throw my medicated bit of beef at once into + his kennel. I acted on the idea immediately; the dog seized his piece of + beef; I heard a snap, a wheeze, a choke, and a groan—and there was + the mastiff disposed of, inside the kennel, where nobody could find out + that he was dead till the time came for feeding him the next morning. + </p> + <p> + I went back to the doctor; we had a social glass of cold brandy-and-water + together; I lighted another cigar, and took my leave. My host being too + respectable a man not to keep early country hours, I went away, as usual, + about ten. The mysterious man-servant locked the gate behind me. I + sauntered on the road back to Barkingham for about five minutes, then + struck off sharp for the plantation, lighted my lantern with the help of + my cigar and a brimstone match of that barbarous period, shut down the + slide again, and made for the garden wall. + </p> + <p> + It was formidably high, and garnished horribly with broken bottles; but it + was also old, and when I came to pick at the mortar with my screw-driver, + I found it reasonably rotten with age and damp. + </p> + <p> + I removed four bricks to make footholes in different positions up the + wall. It was desperately hard and long work, easy as it may sound in + description—especially when I had to hold on by the top of the wall, + with my flat opera hat (as we used to call it in those days) laid, as a + guard, between my hand and the glass, while I cleared a way through the + sharp bottle-ends for my other hand and my knees. This done, my great + difficulty was vanquished; and I had only to drop luxuriously into a + flower-bed on the other side of the wall. + </p> + <p> + Perfect stillness in the garden: no sign of a light anywhere at the back + of the house: first-floor windows all shut: second-floor windows still + open. I fetched the pruning-ladder; put it against the side of the porch; + tied one end of my bit of rope to the top round of it; took the other end + in my mouth, and prepared to climb to the balcony over the porch by the + thick vine branches and the trellis-work. + </p> + <p> + No man who has had any real experience of life can have failed to observe + how amazingly close, in critical situations, the grotesque and the + terrible, the comic and the serious, contrive to tread on each other’s + heels. At such times, the last thing we ought properly to think of comes + into our heads, or the least consistent event that could possibly be + expected to happen does actually occur. When I put my life in danger on + that memorable night, by putting my foot on the trellis-work, I absolutely + thought of the never-dying Lady Malkinshaw plunged in refreshing slumber, + and of the frantic exclamations Mr. Batterbury would utter if he saw what + her ladyship’s grandson was doing with his precious life and limbs at that + critical moment. I am no hero—I was fully aware of the danger to + which I was exposing myself; and yet I protest that I caught myself + laughing under my breath, with the most outrageous inconsistency, at the + instant when I began the ascent of the trellis-work. + </p> + <p> + I reached the balcony over the porch in safety, depending more upon the + tough vine branches than the trellis-work during my ascent. My next + employment was to pull up the pruning-ladder, as softly as possible, by + the rope which I held attached to it. This done, I put the ladder against + the house wall, listened, measured the distance to the open second-floor + window with my eye, listened again—and, finding all quiet, began my + second and last ascent. The ladder was comfortably long, and I was + conveniently tall; my hand was on the window-sill—I mounted another + two rounds—and my eyes were level with the interior of the room. + </p> + <p> + Suppose any one should be sleeping there! + </p> + <p> + I listened at the window attentively before I ventured on taking my + lantern out of my coatpocket. The night was so quite and airless that + there was not the faintest rustle among the leaves in the garden beneath + me to distract my attention. I listened. The breathing of the lightest of + sleepers must have reached my ear, through that intense stillness, if the + room had been a bedroom, and the bed were occupied. I heard nothing but + the quick beat of my own heart. The minutes of suspense were passing + heavily—I laid my other hand over the window-sill, then a moment of + doubt came—doubt whether I should carry the adventure any further. I + mastered my hesitation directly—it was too late for second thoughts. + “Now for it!” I whispered to myself, and got in at the window. + </p> + <p> + To wait, listening again, in the darkness of that unknown region, was more + than I had courage for. The moment I was down on the floor, I pulled the + lantern out of my pocket and raised the shade. + </p> + <p> + So far, so good—I found myself in a dirty lumber-room. Large pans, + some of them cracked and more of them broken; empty boxes bound with iron, + of the same sort as those I had seen the workmen bringing in at the front + gate; old coal sacks; a packing-case full of coke; and a huge, cracked, + mouldy blacksmith’s bellows—these were the principal objects that I + observed in the lumber-room. The one door leading out of it was open, as I + had expected it would be, in order to let the air through the back window + into the house. I took off my shoes, and stole into the passage. My first + impulse, the moment I looked along it, was to shut down my lantern-shade, + and listen again. + </p> + <p> + Still I heard nothing; but at the far end of the passage I saw a bright + light pouring through the half-opened door of one of the mysterious front + rooms. + </p> + <p> + I crept softly toward it. A decidedly chemical smell began to steal into + my nostrils—and, listening again, I thought I heard above me, and in + some distant room, a noise like the low growl of a large furnace, muffled + in some peculiar manner. Should I retrace my steps in that direction? No—not + till I had seen something of the room with the bright light, outside of + which I was now standing. I bent forward softly; looking by little and + little further and further through the opening of the door, until my head + and shoulders were fairly inside the room, and my eyes had convinced me + that no living soul, sleeping or waking, was in any part of it at that + particular moment. Impelled by a fatal curiosity, I entered immediately, + and began to look about me with eager eyes. + </p> + <p> + I saw iron ladles, pans full of white sand, files with white metal left + glittering in their teeth, molds of plaster of Paris, bags containing the + same material in powder, a powerful machine with the name and use of which + I was theoretically not unacquainted, white metal in a partially-fused + state, bottles of aquafortis, dies scattered over a dresser, crucibles, + sandpaper, bars of metal, and edged tools in plenty, of the strangest + construction. I was not at all a scrupulous man, as the reader knows by + this time; but when I looked at these objects, and thought of Alicia, I + could not for the life of me help shuddering. There was not the least + doubt about it, even after the little I had seen: the important chemical + pursuits to which Doctor Dulcifer was devoting himself, meant, in plain + English and in one word—Coining. + </p> + <p> + Did Alicia know what I knew now, or did she only suspect it? + </p> + <p> + Whichever way I answered that question in my own mind, I could be no + longer at any loss for an explanation of her behavior in the meadow by the + stream, or of that unnaturally gloomy, downcast look which overspread her + face when her father’s pursuits were the subject of conversation. Did I + falter in my resolution to marry her, now that I had discovered what the + obstacle was which had made mystery and wretchedness between us? Certainly + not. I was above all prejudices. I was the least particular of mankind. I + had no family affection in my way—and, greatest fact of all, I was + in love. Under those circumstances what Rogue of any spirit would have + faltered? After the first shock of the discovery was over, my resolution + to be Alicia’s husband was settled more firmly than ever. + </p> + <p> + There was a little round table in a corner of the room furthest from the + door, which I had not yet examined. A feverish longing to look at + everything within my reach—to penetrate to the innermost recesses of + the labyrinth in which I had involved myself—consumed me. I went to + the table, and saw upon it, ranged symmetrically side by side, four + objects which looked like thick rulers wrapped up in silver paper. I + opened the paper at the end of one of the rulers, and found that it was + composed of half-crowns. I had closed the paper again, and was just + raising my head from the table over which it had been bent, when my right + cheek came in contact with something hard and cold. I started back—looked + up—and confronted Doctor Dulcifer, holding a pistol at my right + temple. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. + </h2> + <p> + THE doctor (like me) had his shoes off. The doctor (like me) had come in + without making the least noise. He cocked the pistol without saying a + word. I felt that I was probably standing face to face with death, and I + too said not a word. We two Rogues looked each other steadily and silently + in the face—he, the mighty and prosperous villain, with my life in + his hands: I, the abject and poor scamp, waiting his mercy. + </p> + <p> + It must have been at least a minute after I heard the click of the cocked + pistol before he spoke. + </p> + <p> + “How did you get here?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + The quiet commonplace terms in which he put his question, and the perfect + composure and politeness of his manner, reminded me a little of Gentleman + Jones. But the doctor was much the more respectable-looking man of the + two; his baldness was more intellectual and benevolent; there was a + delicacy and propriety in the pulpiness of his fat white chin, a bland + bagginess in his unwhiskered cheeks, a reverent roughness about his + eyebrows and a fullness in his lower eyelids, which raised him far higher, + physiognomically speaking, in the social scale, than my old prison + acquaintance. Put a shovel-hat on Gentleman Jones, and the effect would + only have been eccentric; put the same covering on the head of Doctor + Dulcifer, and the effect would have been strictly episcopal. + </p> + <p> + “How did you get here?” he repeated, still without showing the least + irritation. + </p> + <p> + I told him how I had got in at the second-floor window, without concealing + a word of the truth. The gravity of the situation, and the sharpness of + the doctor’s intellects, as expressed in his eyes, made anything like a + suppression of facts on my part a desperately dangerous experiment. + </p> + <p> + “You wanted to see what I was about up here, did you?” said he, when I had + ended my confession. “Do you know?” + </p> + <p> + The pistol barrel touched my cheek as he said the last words. I thought of + all the suspicious objects scattered about the room, of the probability + that he was only putting this question to try my courage, of the very + likely chance that he would shoot me forthwith, if I began to prevaricate. + I thought of these things, and boldly answered: + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I do know.” + </p> + <p> + He looked at me reflectively; then said, in low, thoughtful tones, + speaking, not to me, but entirely to himself: + </p> + <p> + “Suppose I shoot him?” + </p> + <p> + I saw in his eye, that if I flinched, he would draw the trigger. + </p> + <p> + “Suppose you trust me?” I said, without moving a muscle. + </p> + <p> + “I trusted you, as an honest man, downstairs, and I find you, like a + thief, up here,” returned the doctor, with a self-satisfied smile at the + neatness of his own retort. “No,” he continued, relapsing into soliloquy: + “there is risk every way; but the least risk perhaps is to shoot him.” + </p> + <p> + “Wrong,” said I. “There are relations of mine who have a pecuniary + interest in my life. I am the main condition of a contingent reversion in + their favor. If I am missed, I shall be inquired after.” I have wondered + since at my own coolness in the face of the doctor’s pistol; but my life + depended on my keeping my self-possession, and the desperate nature of the + situation lent me a desperate courage. + </p> + <p> + “How do I know you are not lying?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Have I not spoken the truth, hitherto?” + </p> + <p> + Those words made him hesitate. He lowered the pistol slowly to his side. I + began to breathe freely. + </p> + <p> + “Trust me,” I repeated. “If you don’t believe I would hold my tongue about + what I have seen here, for your sake, you may be certain that I would for—” + </p> + <p> + “For my daughter’s,” he interposed, with a sarcastic smile. + </p> + <p> + I bowed with all imaginable cordiality. The doctor waved his pistol in the + air contemptuously. + </p> + <p> + “There are two ways of making you hold your tongue,” he said. “The first + is shooting you; the second is making a felon of you. On consideration, + after what you have said, the risk in either case seems about equal. I am + naturally a humane man; your family have done me no injury; I will not be + the cause of their losing money; I won’t take your life, I’ll have your + character. We are all felons on this floor of the house. You have come + among us—you shall be one of us. Ring that bell.” + </p> + <p> + He pointed with the pistol to a bell-handle behind me. I pulled it in + silence. + </p> + <p> + Felon! The word has an ugly sound—a very ugly sound. But, + considering how near the black curtain had been to falling over the + adventurous drama of my life, had I any right to complain of the + prolongation of the scene, however darkly it might look at first? Besides, + some of the best feelings of our common nature (putting out of all + question the value which men so unaccountably persist in setting on their + own lives), impelled me, of necessity, to choose the alternative of + felonious existence in preference to that of respectable death. Love and + Honor bade me live to marry Alicia; and a sense of family duty made me + shrink from occasioning a loss of three thousand pounds to my affectionate + sister. Perish the far-fetched scruples which would break the heart of one + lovely woman, and scatter to the winds the pin-money of another! + </p> + <p> + “If you utter one word in contradiction of anything I say when my workmen + come into the room,” said the doctor, uncocking his pistol as soon as I + had rung the bell, “I shall change my mind about leaving your life and + taking your character. Remember that; and keep a guard on your tongue.” + </p> + <p> + The door opened, and four men entered. One was an old man whom I had not + seen before; in the other three I recognized the workman-like footman, and + the two sinister artisans whom I had met at the house-gate. They all + started, guiltily enough, at seeing me. + </p> + <p> + “Let me introduce you,” said the doctor, taking me by the arm. “Old File + and Young File, Mill and Screw—Mr. Frank Softly. We have nicknames + in this workshop, Mr. Softly, derived humorously from our professional + tools and machinery. When you have been here long enough, you will get a + nickname, too. Gentlemen,” he continued, turning to the workmen, “this is + a new recruit, with a knowledge of chemistry which will be useful to us. + He is perfectly well aware that the nature of our vocation makes us + suspicious of all newcomers, and he, therefore, desires to give you + practical proof that he is to be depended on, by making half-a-crown + immediately, and sending the same up, along with our handiwork, directed + in his own handwriting, to our estimable correspondents in London. When + you have all seen him do this of his own free will, and thereby put his + own life as completely within the power of the law as we have put ours, + you will know that he is really one of us, and will be under no + apprehensions for the future. Take great pains with him, and as soon as he + turns out a tolerably neat article, from the simple flatted plates, under + your inspection, let me know. I shall take a few hours’ repose on my + camp-bed in the study, and shall be found there whenever you want me.” + </p> + <p> + He nodded to us all round in the most friendly manner, and left the room. + </p> + <p> + I looked with considerable secret distrust at the four gentlemen who were + to instruct me in the art of making false coin. Young File was the + workman-like footman; Old File was his father; Mill and Screw were the two + sinister artisans. The man of the company whose looks I liked least was + Screw. He had wicked little twinkling eyes—and they followed me + about treacherously whenever I moved. “You and I, Screw, are likely to + quarrel,” I thought to myself, as I tried vainly to stare him out of + countenance. + </p> + <p> + I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith. Resistance was + useless, and calling for help would have been sheer insanity. It was + midnight; and, even supposing the windows had not been barred, the house + was a mile from any human habitation. Accordingly, I abandoned myself to + fate with my usual magnanimity. Only let me end in winning Alicia, and I + am resigned to the loss of whatever small shreds and patches of + respectability still hang about me—such was my philosophy. I wish I + could have taken higher moral ground with equally consoling results to my + own feelings. + </p> + <p> + The same regard for the well-being of society which led me to abstain from + entering into particulars on the subject of Old Master-making, when I was + apprenticed to Mr. Ishmael Pickup, now commands me to be equally discreet + on the kindred subject of Half-Crown-making, under the auspices of Old + File, Young File, Mill, and Screw. + </p> + <p> + Let me merely record that I was a kind of machine in the hands of these + four skilled workmen. I moved from room to room, and from process to + process, the creature of their directing eyes and guiding hands. I cut + myself, I burned myself, I got speechless from fatigue, and giddy from + want of sleep. In short, the sun of the new day was high in the heavens + before it was necessary to disturb Doctor Dulcifer. It had absolutely + taken me almost as long to manufacture a half-a-crown feloniously as it + takes a respectable man to make it honestly. This is saying a great deal; + but it is literally true for all that. + </p> + <p> + Looking quite fresh and rosy after his night’s sleep, the doctor inspected + my coin with the air of a schoolmaster examining a little boy’s exercise; + then handed it to Old File to put the finished touches and correct the + mistakes. It was afterward returned to me. My own hand placed it in one of + the rouleaux of false half-crowns; and my own hand also directed the + spurious coin, when it had been safely packed up, to a certain London + dealer who was to be on the lookout for it by the next night’s mail. That + done, my initiation was so far complete. + </p> + <p> + “I have sent for your luggage, and paid your bill at the inn,” said the + doctor; “of course in your name. You are now to enjoy the hospitality that + I could not extend to you before. A room upstairs has been prepared for + you. You are not exactly in a state of confinement; but, until your + studies are completed, I think you had better not interrupt them by going + out.” + </p> + <p> + “A prisoner!” I exclaimed aghast. + </p> + <p> + “Prisoner is a hard word,” answered the doctor. “Let us say, a guest under + surveillance.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you seriously mean that you intend to keep me shut up in this part of + the house, at your will and pleasure?” I inquired, my heart sinking lower + and lower at every word I spoke. + </p> + <p> + “It is very spacious and airy,” said the doctor; “as for the lower part of + the house, you would find no company there, so you can’t want to go to + it.” + </p> + <p> + “No company!” I repeated faintly. + </p> + <p> + “No. My daughter went away this morning for change of air and scene, + accompanied by my housekeeper. You look astonished, my dear sir—let + me frankly explain myself. While you were the respectable son of Doctor + Softly, and grandson of Lady Malkinshaw, I was ready enough to let my + daughter associate with you, and should not have objected if you had + married her off my hands into a highly-connected family. Now, however, + when you are nothing but one of the workmen in my manufactory of money, + your social position is seriously altered for the worse; and, as I could + not possibly think of you for a son-in-law, I have considered it best to + prevent all chance of your communicating with Alicia again, by sending her + away from this house while you are in it. You will be in it until I have + completed certain business arrangements now in a forward state of progress—after + that, you may go away if you please. Pray remember that you have to thank + yourself for the position you now stand in; and do me the justice to admit + that my conduct toward you is remarkably straightforward, and perfectly + natural under all the circumstances.” + </p> + <p> + These words fairly overwhelmed me. I did not even make an attempt to + answer them. The hard trials to my courage, endurance, and physical + strength, through which I had passed within the last twelve hours, had + completely exhausted all my powers of resistance. I went away speechless + to my own room; and when I found myself alone there, burst out crying. + Childish, was it not? + </p> + <p> + When I had been rested and strengthened by a few hours’ sleep, I found + myself able to confront the future with tolerable calmness. + </p> + <p> + What would it be best for me to do? Ought I to attempt to make my escape? + I did not despair of succeeding; but when I began to think of the + consequences of success, I hesitated. My chief object now was, not so much + to secure my own freedom, as to find my way to Alicia. I had never been so + deeply and desperately in love with her as I was now, when I knew she was + separated from me. Suppose I succeeded in escaping from the clutches of + Doctor Dulcifer—might I not be casting myself uselessly on the + world, without a chance of finding a single clew to trace her by? Suppose, + on the other hand, that I remained for the present in the red-brick house—should + I not by that course of conduct be putting myself in the best position for + making discoveries? + </p> + <p> + In the first place, there was the chance that Alicia might find some + secret means of communicating with me if I remained where I was. In the + second place, the doctor would, in all probability, have occasion to write + to his daughter, or would be likely to receive letters from her; and, if I + quieted all suspicion on my account, by docile behavior, and kept my eyes + sharply on the lookout, I might find opportunities of surprising the + secrets of his writing-desk. I felt that I need be under no restraints of + honor with a man who was keeping me a prisoner, and who had made an + accomplice of me by threatening my life. Accordingly, while resolving to + show outwardly an amiable submission to my fate, I determined at the same + time to keep secretly on the watch, and to take the very first chance of + outwitting Doctor Dulcifer that might happen to present itself. When we + next met I was perfectly civil to him. He was too well-bred a man not to + match me on the common ground of courtesy. + </p> + <p> + “Permit me to congratulate you,” he said, “on the improvement in your + manner and appearance. You are beginning well, Francis. Go on as you have + begun.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. + </h2> + <p> + MY first few days’ experience in my new position satisfied me that Doctor + Dulcifer preserved himself from betrayal by a system of surveillance + worthy of the very worst days of the Holy Inquisition itself. + </p> + <p> + No man of us ever knew that he was not being overlooked at home, or + followed when he went out, by another man. Peepholes were pierced in the + wall of each room, and we were never certain, while at work, whose eye was + observing, or whose ear was listening in secret. Though we all lived + together, we were probably the least united body of men ever assembled + under one roof. By way of effectually keeping up the want of union between + us, we were not all trusted alike. I soon discovered that Old File and + Young File were much further advanced in the doctor’s confidence than + Mill, Screw, or myself. There was a locked-up room, and a + continually-closed door shutting off a back staircase, of both of which + Old File and Young File possessed keys that were never so much as trusted + in the possession of the rest of us. There was also a trap-door in the + floor of the principal workroom, the use of which was known to nobody but + the doctor and his two privileged men. If we had not been all nearly on an + equality in the matter of wages, these distinctions would have made bad + blood among us. As it was, nobody having reason to complain of + unjustly-diminished wages, nobody cared about any preferences in which + profit was not involved. + </p> + <p> + The doctor must have gained a great deal of money by his skill as a + coiner. His profits in business could never have averaged less than five + hundred per cent; and, to do him justice, he was really a generous as well + as a rich master. + </p> + <p> + Even I, as a new hand, was, in fair proportion, as well paid by the week + as the rest. + </p> + <p> + We, of course, had nothing to do with the passing of false money—we + only manufactured it (sometimes at the rate of four hundred pounds’ worth + in a week); and left its circulation to be managed by our customers in + London and the large towns. Whatever we paid for in Barkingham was paid + for in the genuine Mint coinage. I used often to compare my own true + guineas, half-crowns and shillings with our imitations under the doctor’s + supervision, and was always amazed at the resemblance. Our scientific + chief had discovered a process something like what is called electrotyping + nowadays, as I imagine. He was very proud of this; but he was prouder + still of the ring of his metal, and with reason: it must have been a nice + ear indeed that could discover the false tones in the doctor’s coinage. + </p> + <p> + If I had been the most scrupulous man in the world, I must still have + received my wages, for the very necessary purpose of not appearing to + distinguish myself invidiously from my fellow-workmen. Upon the whole, I + got on well with them. Old File and I struck up quite a friendship. Young + File and Mill worked harmoniously with me, but Screw and I (as I had + foreboded) quarreled. + </p> + <p> + This last man was not on good terms with his fellows, and had less of the + doctor’s confidence than any of the rest of us. Naturally not of a sweet + temper, his isolated position in the house had soured him, and he rashly + attempted to vent his ill-humor on me, as a newcomer. For some days I bore + with him patiently; but at last he got the better of my powers of + endurance; and I gave him a lesson in manners, one day, on the educational + system of Gentleman Jones. He did not return the blow, or complain to the + doctor; he only looked at me wickedly, and said: “I’ll be even with you + for that, some of these days.” I soon forgot the words and the look. + </p> + <p> + With Old File, as I have said, I became quite friendly. Excepting the + secrets of our prison-house, he was ready enough to talk on subjects about + which I was curious. + </p> + <p> + He had known his present master as a young man, and was perfectly familiar + with all the events of his career. From various conversations, at odds and + ends of spare time, I discovered that Doctor Dulcifer had begun life as a + footman in a gentleman’s family; that his young mistress had eloped with + him, taking away with her every article of value that was her own personal + property, in the shape of jewelry and dresses; that they had lived upon + the sale of these things for some time; and that the husband, when the + wife’s means were exhausted, had turned strolling-player for a year or + two. Abandoning that pursuit, he had next become a quack-doctor, first in + a resident, then in a vagabond capacity—taking a medical degree of + his own conferring, and holding to it as a good traveling title for the + rest of his life. From the selling of quack medicines he had proceeded to + the adulterating of foreign wines, varied by lucrative evening occupation + in the Paris gambling houses. On returning to his native land, he still + continued to turn his chemical knowledge to account, by giving his + services to that particular branch of our commercial industry which is + commonly described as the adulteration of commodities; and from this he + had gradually risen to the more refined pursuit of adulterating gold and + silver—or, to use the common phrase again, making bad money. + </p> + <p> + According to Old File’s statement, though Doctor Dulcifer had never + actually ill-used his wife, he had never lived on kind terms with her: the + main cause of the estrangement between them, in later years, being Mrs. + Dulcifer’s resolute resistance to her husband’s plans for emerging from + poverty, by the simple process of coining his own money. The poor woman + still held fast by some of the principles imparted to her in happier days; + and she was devotedly fond of her daughter. At the time of her sudden + death, she was secretly making arrangements to leave the doctor, and find + a refuge for herself and her child in a foreign country, under the care of + the one friend of her family who had not cast her off. Questioning my + informant about Alicia next, I found that he knew very little about her + relations with her father in later years. That she must long since have + discovered him to be not quite so respectable a man as he looked, and that + she might suspect something wrong was going on in the house at the present + time, were, in Old File’s opinion, matters of certainty; but that she knew + anything positively on the subject of her father’s occupations, he seemed + to doubt. The doctor was not the sort of man to give his daughter, or any + other woman, the slightest chance of surprising his secrets. + </p> + <p> + These particulars I gleaned during one long month of servitude and + imprisonment in the fatal red-brick house. + </p> + <p> + During all that time not the slightest intimation reached me of Alicia’s + whereabouts. Had she forgotten me? I could not believe it. Unless the dear + brown eyes were the falsest hypocrites in the world, it was impossible + that she should have forgotten me. Was she watched? Were all means of + communicating with me, even in secret, carefully removed from her? I + looked oftener and oftener into the doctor’s study as those questions + occurred to me; but he never quitted it without locking the writing-desk + first—he never left any papers scattered on the table, and he was + never absent from the room at any special times and seasons that could be + previously calculated upon. I began to despair, and to feel in my lonely + moments a yearning to renew that childish experiment of crying, which I + have already adverted to, in the way of confession. Moralists will be glad + to hear that I really suffered acute mental misery at this time of my + life. My state of depression would have gratified the most exacting of + Methodists; and my penitent face would have made my fortune if I could + only have been exhibited by a reformatory association on the platform of + Exeter Hall. + </p> + <p> + How much longer was this to last? Whither should I turn my steps when I + regained my freedom? In what direction throughout all England should I + begin to look for Alicia? + </p> + <p> + Sleeping and walking—working and idling—those were now my + constant thoughts. I did my best to prepare myself for every emergency + that could happen; I tried to arm myself beforehand against every possible + accident that could befall me. While I was still hard at work sharpening + my faculties and disciplining my energies in this way, an accident befell + the doctor, on the possibility of which I had not dared to calculate, even + in my most hopeful moments. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. + </h2> + <p> + ONE morning I was engaged in the principal workroom with my employer. We + were alone. Old File and his son were occupied in the garrets. Screw had + been sent to Barkingham, accompanied, on the usual precautionary plan, by + Mill. They had been gone nearly an hour when the doctor sent me into the + next room to moisten and knead up some plaster of Paris. While I was + engaged in this occupation, I suddenly heard strange voices in the large + workroom. My curiosity was instantly excited. I drew back the little + shutter from the peephole in the wall, and looked through it. + </p> + <p> + I saw first my old enemy, Screw, with his villainous face much paler than + usual; next, two respectably-dressed strangers whom he appeared to have + brought into the room; and next to them Young File, addressing himself to + the doctor. + </p> + <p> + “I beg your pardon, sir,” said my friend, the workman-like footman; “but + before these gentlemen say anything for themselves, I wish to explain, as + they seem strangers to you, that I only let them in after I had heard them + give the password. My instructions are to let anybody in on our side of + the door if they can give the password. No offense, sir, but I want it to + be understood that I have done my duty.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite right, my man,” said the doctor, in his blandest manner. “You may + go back to your work.” + </p> + <p> + Young File left the room, with a scrutinizing look for the two strangers + and a suspicious frown for Screw. + </p> + <p> + “Allow us to introduce ourselves,” began the elder of the two strangers. + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me for a moment,” interposed the doctor. “Where is Mill?” he + added, turning to Screw. + </p> + <p> + “Doing our errands at Barkingham,” answered Screw, turning paler than + ever. + </p> + <p> + “We happened to meet your two men, and to ask them the way to your house,” + said the stranger who had just spoken. “This man, with a caution that does + him infinite credit, required to know our business before he told us. We + managed to introduce the password—‘Happy-go-lucky’—into our + answer. This of course quieted suspicion; and he, at our request, guided + us here, leaving his fellow-workman, as he has just told you, to do all + errands at Barkingham.” + </p> + <p> + While these words were being spoken, I saw Screw’s eyes wandering + discontentedly and amazedly round the room. He had left me in it with the + doctor before he went out: was he disappointed at not finding me in it on + his return? + </p> + <p> + While this thought was passing through my mind, the stranger resumed his + explanations. + </p> + <p> + “We are here,” he said, “as agents appointed to transact private business, + out of London, for Mr. Manasseh, with whom you have dealings, I think?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” said the doctor, with a smile. + </p> + <p> + “And who owes you a little account, which we are appointed to settle.” + </p> + <p> + “Just so!” remarked the doctor, pleasantly rubbing his hands one over the + other. “My good friend, Mr. Manasseh, does not like to trust the post, I + suppose? Very glad to make your acquaintance, gentlemen. Have you got the + little memorandum about you?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; but we think there is a slight inaccuracy in it. Have you any + objection to let us refer to your ledger?” + </p> + <p> + “Not the least in the world. Screw, go down into my private laboratory, + open the table-drawer nearest the window, and bring up a locked book, with + a parchment cover, which you will find in it.” + </p> + <p> + As Screw obeyed I saw a look pass between him and the two strangers which + made me begin to feel a little uneasy. I thought the doctor noticed it + too; but he preserved his countenance, as usual, in a state of the most + unruffled composure. + </p> + <p> + “What a time that fellow is gone!” he exclaimed gayly. “Perhaps I had + better go and get the book myself.” + </p> + <p> + The two strangers had been gradually lessening the distance between the + doctor and themselves, ever since Screw had left the room. The last words + were barely out of his mouth, before they both sprang upon him, and + pinioned his arms with their hands. + </p> + <p> + “Steady, my fine fellow,” said Mr. Manasseh’s head agent. “It’s no go. We + are Bow Street runners, and we’ve got you for coining.” + </p> + <p> + “Not a doubt of it,” said the doctor, with the most superb coolness. “You + needn’t hold me. I’m not fool enough to resist when I’m fairly caught.” + </p> + <p> + “Wait till we’ve searched you; and then we’ll talk about that,” said the + runner.* + </p> + <p> + The doctor submitted to the searching with the patience of a martyr. No + offensive weapon being found in his pockets, they allowed him to sit down + unmolested in the nearest chair. + </p> + <p> + “Screw, I suppose?” said the doctor, looking inquiringly at the officers. + </p> + <p> + “Exactly,” said the principal man of the two. “We have been secretly + corresponding with him for weeks past. We have nabbed the man who went out + with him, and got him safe at Barkingham. Don’t expect Screw back with the + ledger. As soon as he has made sure that the rest of you are in the house, + he is to fetch another man or two of our Bow Street lot, who are waiting + outside till they hear from us. We only want an old man and a young one, + and a third pal of yours who is a gentleman born, to make a regular + clearance in the house. When we have once got you all, it will be the + prettiest capture that’s ever been made since I was in the force.” + </p> + <p> + What the doctor answered to this I cannot say. Just as the officer had + done speaking, I heard footsteps approaching the room in which I was + listening. Was Screw looking for me? I instantly closed the peephole and + got behind the door. It opened back upon me, and, sure enough, Screw + entered cautiously. + </p> + <p> + An empty old wardrobe stood opposite the door. Evidently suspecting that I + might have taken the alarm and concealed myself inside it, he approached + it on tiptoe. On tiptoe also I followed him; and, just as his hands were + on the wardrobe door, my hands were on his throat. He was a little man, + and no match for me. I easily and gently laid him on his back, in a + voiceless and half-suffocated state—throwing myself right over him, + to keep his legs quiet. When I saw his face getting black, and his small + eyes growing largely globular, I let go with one hand, crammed my empty + plaster of Paris bag, which lay close by, into his mouth, tied it fast, + secured his hands and feet, and then left him perfectly harmless, while I + took counsel with myself how best to secure my own safety. + </p> + <p> + I should have made my escape at once; but for what I heard the officer say + about the men who were waiting outside. Were they waiting near or at a + distance? Were they on the watch at the front or the back of the house? I + thought it highly desirable to give myself a chance of ascertaining their + whereabouts from the talk of the officers in the next room, before I + risked the possibility of running right into their clutches on the outer + side of the door. + </p> + <p> + I cautiously opened the peephole once more. + </p> + <p> + The doctor appeared to be still on the most friendly terms with his + vigilant guardians from Bow Street. + </p> + <p> + “Have you any objection to my ringing for some lunch, before we are all + taken off to London together?” I heard him ask in his most cheerful tones. + “A glass of wine and a bit of bread and cheese won’t do you any harm, + gentlemen, if you are as hungry as I am.” + </p> + <p> + “If you want to eat and drink, order the victuals at once,” replied one of + the runners, sulkily. “We don’t happen to want anything ourselves.” + </p> + <p> + “Sorry for it,” said the doctor. “I have some of the best old Madeira in + England.” + </p> + <p> + “Like enough,” retorted the officer sarcastically. “But you see we are not + quite such fools as we look; and we have heard of such a thing, in our + time, as hocussed wine.” + </p> + <p> + “O fie! fie!” exclaimed the doctor merrily. “Remember how well I am + behaving myself, and don’t wound my feelings by suspecting me of such + shocking treachery as that!” + </p> + <p> + He moved to a corner of the room behind him, and touched a knob in the + wall which I had never before observed. A bell rang directly, which had a + new tone in it to my ears. + </p> + <p> + “Too bad,” said the doctor, turning round again to the runners; “really + too bad, gentlemen, to suspect me of that!” + </p> + <p> + Shaking his head deprecatingly, he moved back to the corner, pulled aside + something in the wall, disclosed the mouth of a pipe which was a perfect + novelty to me, and called down it. + </p> + <p> + “Moses!” + </p> + <p> + It was the first time I had heard that name in the house. + </p> + <p> + “Who is Moses?” inquired the officers both together, advancing on him + suspiciously. + </p> + <p> + “Only my servant,” answered the doctor. He turned once more to the pipe, + and called down it: + </p> + <p> + “Bring up the Stilton Cheese, and a bottle of the Old Madeira.” + </p> + <p> + The cheese we had in use at that time was of purely Dutch extraction. I + remembered Port, Sherry, and Claret in my palmy dinner-days at the + doctor’s family-table; but certainly not Old Madeira. Perhaps he selfishly + kept his best wine and his choicest cheese for his own consumption. + </p> + <p> + “Sam,” said one of the runners to the other, “you look to our civil friend + here, and I’ll grab Moses when he brings up the lunch.” + </p> + <p> + “Would you like to see what the operation of coining is, while my man is + getting the lunch ready?” said the doctor. “It may be of use to me at the + trial, if you can testify that I afforded you every facility for finding + out anything you might want to know. Only mention my polite anxiety to + make things easy and instructive from the very first, and I may get + recommended to mercy. See here—this queer-looking machine, gentlemen + (from which two of my men derive their nicknames), is what we call a + Mill-and-Screw.” + </p> + <p> + He began to explain the machine with the manner and tone of a lecturer at + a scientific institution. In spite of themselves, the officers burst out + laughing. I looked round at Screw as the doctor got deeper into his + explanations. The traitor was rolling his wicked eyes horribly at me. They + presented so shocking a sight, that I looked away again. What was I to do + next? The minutes were getting on, and I had not heard a word yet, through + the peephole, on the subject of the reserve of Bow Street runners outside. + Would it not be best to risk everything, and get away at once by the back + of the house? + </p> + <p> + Just as I had resolved on venturing the worst, and making my escape + forthwith, I heard the officers interrupt the doctor’s lecture. + </p> + <p> + “Your lunch is a long time coming,” said one of them. + </p> + <p> + “Moses is lazy,” answered the doctor; “and the Madeira is in a remote part + of the cellar. Shall I ring again?” + </p> + <p> + “Hang your ringing again!” growled the runner, impatiently. “I don’t + understand why our reserve men are not here yet. Suppose you go and give + them a whistle, Sam.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t half like leaving you,” returned Sam. “This learned gentleman + here is rather a shifty sort of chap; and it strikes me that two of us + isn’t a bit too much to watch him.” + </p> + <p> + “What’s that?” exclaimed Sam’s comrade, suspiciously. + </p> + <p> + A crash of broken crockery in the lower part of the house had followed + that last word of the cautious officer’s speech. Naturally, I could draw + no special inference from the sound; but, for all that, it filled me with + a breathless interest and suspicion, which held me irresistibly at the + peephole—though the moment before I had made up my mind to fly from + the house. + </p> + <p> + “Moses is awkward as well as lazy,” said the doctor. “He has dropped the + tray! Oh, dear, dear me! he has certainly dropped the tray.” + </p> + <p> + “Let’s take our learned friend downstairs between us,” suggested Sam. “I + shan’t be easy till we’ve got him out of the house.” + </p> + <p> + “And I shan’t be easy if we don’t handcuff him before we leave the room,” + returned the other. + </p> + <p> + “Rude conduct, gentlemen—after all that has passed, remarkably rude + conduct,” said the doctor. “May I, at least, get my hat while my hands are + at liberty? It hangs on that peg opposite to us.” He moved toward it a few + steps into the middle of the room while he spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Stop!” said Sam; “I’ll get your hat for you. We’ll see if there’s + anything inside it or not, before you put it on.” + </p> + <p> + The doctor stood stockstill, like a soldier at the word, Halt. + </p> + <p> + “And I’ll get the handcuffs,” said the other runner, searching his + coat-pockets. + </p> + <p> + The doctor bowed to him assentingly and forgivingly. + </p> + <p> + “Only oblige me with my hat, and I shall be quite ready for you,” he said—paused + for one moment, then repeated the words, “Quite ready,” in a louder tone—and + instantly disappeared through the floor! + </p> + <p> + I saw the two officers rush from opposite ends of the room to a great + opening in the middle of it. The trap-door on which the doctor had been + standing, and on which he had descended, closed up with a bang at the same + moment; and a friendly voice from the lower regions called out gayly, + “Good-by!” + </p> + <p> + The officers next made for the door of the room. It had been locked from + the other side. As they tore furiously at the handle, the roll of the + wheels of the doctor’s gig sounded on the drive in front of the house; and + the friendly voice called out once more, “Good-by!” + </p> + <p> + I waited just long enough to see the baffled officers unbarring the window + shutters for the purpose of giving the alarm, before I closed the + peephole, and with a farewell look at the distorted face of my prostrate + enemy, Screw, left the room. + </p> + <p> + The doctor’s study-door was open as I passed it on my way downstairs. The + locked writing-desk, which probably contained the only clew to Alicia’s + retreat that I was likely to find, was in its usual place on the table. + There was no time to break it open on the spot. I rolled it up in my + apron, took it off bodily under my arm, and descended to the iron door on + the staircase. Just as I was within sight of it, it was opened from the + landing on the other side. I turned to run upstairs again, when a familiar + voice cried, “Stop!” and looking round, I beheld Young File. + </p> + <p> + “All right!” he said. “Father’s off with the governor in the gig, and the + runners in hiding outside are in full cry after them. If Bow Street can + get within pistol-shot of the blood mare, all I can say is, I give Bow + Street full leave to fire away with both barrels! Where’s Screw?” + </p> + <p> + “Gagged by me in the casting-room.” + </p> + <p> + “Well done, you! Got all your things, I see, under your arm? Wait two + seconds while I grab my money. Never mind the rumpus upstairs—there’s + nobody outside to help them; and the gate’s locked, if there was.” + </p> + <p> + He darted past me up the stairs. I could hear the imprisoned officers + shouting for help from the top windows. Their reserve men must have been + far away, by this time, in pursuit of the gig; and there was not much + chance of their getting useful help from any stray countryman who might be + passing along the road, except in the way of sending a message to + Barkingham. Anyhow we were sure of a half hour to escape in, at the very + least. + </p> + <p> + “Now then,” said Young File, rejoining me; “let’s be off by the back way + through the plantations. How came you to lay your lucky hands on Screw?” + he continued, when we had passed through the iron door, and had closed it + after us. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me first how the doctor managed to make a hole in the floor just in + the nick of time.” + </p> + <p> + “What! did you see the trap sprung?” + </p> + <p> + “I saw everything.” + </p> + <p> + “The devil you did! Had you any notion that signals were going on, all the + while you were on the watch? We have a regular set of them in case of + accidents. It’s a rule that father, and me, and the doctor are never to be + in the workroom together—so as to keep one of us always at liberty + to act on the signals.—Where are you going to?” + </p> + <p> + “Only to get the gardener’s ladder to help us over the wall. Go on.” + </p> + <p> + “The first signal is a private bell—that means, <i>Listen at the + pipe.</i> The next is a call down the pipe for ‘Moses’—that means, + <i>Danger! Lock the door.</i> ‘Stilton Cheese’ means, <i>Put the Mare to;</i> + and ‘Old Madeira’ <i>Stand by the trap.</i> The trap works in that + locked-up room you never got into; and when our hands are on the + machinery, we are awkward enough to have a little accident with the + luncheon tray. ‘Quite Ready’ is the signal to lower the trap, which we do + in the regular theater-fashion. We lowered the doctor smartly enough, as + you saw, and got out by the back staircase. Father went in the gig, and I + let them out and locked the gates after them. Now you know as much as I’ve + got breath to tell you.” + </p> + <p> + We scaled the wall easily by the help of the ladder. When we were down on + the other side, Young File suggested that the safest course for us was to + separate, and for each to take his own way. We shook hands and parted. He + went southward, toward London, and I went westward, toward the sea-coast, + with Doctor Dulcifer’s precious writing-desk safe under my arm. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The “Bow Street runners” of those days were the + predecessors of the detective police of the present time. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. + </h2> + <p> + FOR a couple of hours I walked on briskly, careless in what direction I + went, so long as I kept my back turned on Barkingham. + </p> + <p> + By the time I had put seven miles of ground, according to my calculations, + between me and the red-brick house, I began to look upon the doctor’s + writing-desk rather in the light of an incumbrance, and determined to + examine it without further delay. Accordingly I picked up the first large + stone I could find in the road, crossed a common, burst through a hedge, + and came to a halt, on the other side, in a thick wood. Here, finding + myself well screened from public view, I broke open the desk with the help + of the stone, and began to look over the contents. + </p> + <p> + To my unspeakable disappointment I found but few papers of any kind to + examine. The desk was beautifully fitted with all the necessary materials + for keeping up a large correspondence; but there were not more than half a + dozen letters in it altogether. Four were on business matters, and the + other two were of a friendly nature, referring to persons and things in + which I did not feel the smallest interest. I found besides half a dozen + bills receipted (the doctor was a mirror of punctuality in the payment of + tradesmen), note and letter-paper of the finest quality, clarified pens, a + pretty little pin-cushion, two small account-books filled with the neatest + entries, and some leaves of blotting-paper. Nothing else; absolutely + nothing else, in the treacherous writing-desk on which I had implicitly + relied to guide me to Alicia’s hiding-place. + </p> + <p> + I groaned in sheer wretchedness over the destruction of all my dearest + plans and hopes. If the Bow Street runners had come into the plantation + just as I had completed the rifling of the desk I think I should have let + them take me without making the slightest effort at escape. As it was, no + living soul appeared within sight of me. I must have sat at the foot of a + tree for full half an hour, with the doctor’s useless bills and letters + before me, with my head in my hands, and with all my energies of body and + mind utterly crushed by despair. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the half hour, the natural restlessness of my faculties + began to make itself felt. + </p> + <p> + Whatever may be said about it in books, no emotion in this world ever did, + or ever will, last for long together. The strong feeling may return over + and over again; but it must have its constant intervals of change or + repose. In real life the bitterest grief doggedly takes its rest and dries + its eyes; the heaviest despair sinks to a certain level, and stops there + to give hope a chance of rising, in spite of us. Even the joy of an + unexpected meeting is always an imperfect sensation, for it never lasts + long enough to justify our secret anticipations—our happiness + dwindles to mere every-day contentment before we have half done with it. + </p> + <p> + I raised my head, and gathered the bills and letters together, and stood + up a man again, wondering at the variableness of my own temper, at the + curious elasticity of that toughest of all the vital substances within us, + which we call Hope. “Sitting and sighing at the foot of this tree,” I + thought, “is not the way to find Alicia, or to secure my own safety. Let + me circulate my blood and rouse my ingenuity, by taking to the road + again.” + </p> + <p> + Before I forced my way back to the open side of the hedge, I thought it + desirable to tear up the bills and letters, for fear of being traced by + them if they were found in the plantation. The desk I left where it was, + there being no name on it. The note-paper and pens I pocketed—forlorn + as my situation was, it did not authorize me to waste stationery. The + blotting-paper was the last thing left to dispose of: two neatly-folded + sheets, quite clean, except in one place, where the impression of a few + lines of writing appeared. I was about to put the blotting-paper into my + pocket after the pens, when something in the look of the writing impressed + on it, stopped me. + </p> + <p> + Four blurred lines appeared of not more than two or three words each, + running out one beyond another regularly from left to right. Had the + doctor been composing poetry and blotting it in a violent hurry? At a + first glance, that was more than I could tell. The order of the written + letters, whatever they might be, was reversed on the face of the + impression taken of them by the blotting-paper. I turned to the other side + of the leaf. The order of the letters was now right, but the letters + themselves were sometimes too faintly impressed, sometimes too much + blurred together to be legible. I held the leaf up to the light—and + there was a complete change: the blurred letters grew clearer, the + invisible connecting lines appeared—I could read the words from + first to last. + </p> + <p> + The writing must have been hurried, and it had to all appearance been + hurriedly dried toward the corner of a perfectly clean leaf of the + blotting-paper. After twice reading, I felt sure that I had made out + correctly the following address: + </p> + <p> + Miss Giles, 2 Zion Place, Crickgelly, N. Wales. + </p> + <p> + It was hard under the circumstances, to form an opinion as to the + handwriting; but I thought I could recognize the character of some of the + doctor’s letters, even in the blotted impression of them. Supposing I was + right, who was Miss Giles? + </p> + <p> + Some Welsh friend of the doctor’s, unknown to me? Probably enough. But why + not Alicia herself under an assumed name? Having sent her from home to + keep her out of my way, it seemed next to a certainty that her father + would take all possible measures to prevent my tracing her, and would, + therefore, as a common act of precaution, forbid her to travel under her + own name. Crickgelly, North Wales, was assuredly a very remote place to + banish her to; but then the doctor was not a man to do things by halves: + he knew the lengths to which my cunning and resolution were capable of + carrying me; and he would have been innocent indeed if he had hidden his + daughter from me in any place within reasonable distance of Barkingham. + Last, and not least important, Miss Giles sounded in my ears exactly like + an assumed name. + </p> + <p> + Was there ever any woman absolutely and literally named Miss Giles? + However I may have altered my opinion on this point since, my mind was not + in a condition at that time to admit the possible existence of any such + individual as a maiden Giles. Before, therefore, I had put the precious + blotting-paper into my pocket, I had satisfied myself that my first duty, + under all the circumstances, was to shape my flight immediately to + Crickgelly. I could be certain of nothing—not even of identifying + the doctor’s handwriting by the impression on the blotting-paper. But + provided I kept clear of Barkingham, it was all the same to me what part + of the United Kingdom I went to; and, in the absence of any actual clew to + her place of residence, there was consolation and encouragement even in + following an imaginary trace. My spirits rose to their natural height as I + struck into the highroad again, and beheld across the level plain the + smoke, chimneys, and church spires of a large manufacturing town. There I + saw the welcome promise of a coach—the happy chance of making my + journey to Crickgelly easy and rapid from the very outset. + </p> + <p> + On my way to the town, I was reminded by the staring of all the people I + passed on the road, of one important consideration which I had hitherto + most unaccountably overlooked—the necessity of making some radical + change in my personal appearance. + </p> + <p> + I had no cause to dread the Bow Street runners, for not one of them had + seen me; but I had the strongest possible reasons for distrusting a + meeting with my enemy, Screw. He would certainly be made use of by the + officers for the purpose of identifying the companions whom he had + betrayed; and I had the best reasons in the world to believe that he would + rather assist in the taking of me than in the capture of all the rest of + the coining gang put together—the doctor himself not excepted. My + present costume was of the dandy sort—rather shabby, but gay in + color and outrageous in cut. I had not altered it for an artisan’s suit in + the doctor’s house, because I never had any intention of staying there a + day longer than I could possibly help. The apron in which I had wrapped + the writing-desk was the only approach I had made toward wearing the + honorable uniform of the workingman. + </p> + <p> + Would it be wise now to make my transformation complete, by adding to the + apron a velveteen jacket and a sealskin cap? No: my hands were too white, + my manners too inveterately gentleman-like, for all artisan disguise. It + would be safer to assume a serious character—to shave off my + whiskers, crop my hair, buy a modest hat and umbrella, and dress entirely + in black. At the first slopshop I encountered in the suburbs of the town, + I got a carpet-bag and a clerical-looking suit. At the first easy + shaving-shop I passed, I had my hair cropped and my whiskers taken off. + After that I retreated again to the country—walked back till I found + a convenient hedge down a lane off the highroad—changed my upper + garments behind it, and emerged, bashful, black, and reverend, with my + cotton umbrella tucked modestly under my arm, my eyes on the ground, my + head in the air, and my hat off my forehead. When I found two laborers + touching their caps to me on my way back to the town, I knew that it was + all right, and that I might now set the vindictive eyes of Screw himself + safely at defiance. + </p> + <p> + I had not the most distant notion where I was when I reached the High + Street, and stopped at The Green Bull Hotel and Coach-office. However, I + managed to mention my modest wishes to be conveyed at once in the + direction of Wales, with no more than a becoming confusion of manner. + </p> + <p> + The answer was not so encouraging as I could have wished. The coach to + Shrewsbury had left an hour before, and there would be no other public + conveyance running in my direct ion until the next morning. Finding myself + thus obliged to yield to adverse circumstances, I submitted resignedly, + and booked a place outside by the next day’s coach, in the name of the + Reverend John Jones. I thought it desirable to be at once unassuming and + Welsh in the selection of a traveling name; and therefore considered John + Jones calculated to fit me, in my present emergency, to a hair. + </p> + <p> + After securing a bed at the hotel, and ordering a frugal curate’s dinner + (bit of fish, two chops, mashed potatoes, semolina pudding, half-pint of + sherry), I sallied out to look at the town. + </p> + <p> + Not knowing the name of it, and not daring to excite surprise by asking, I + found the place full of vague yet mysterious interest. Here I was, + somewhere in central England, just as ignorant of localities as if I had + been suddenly deposited in Central Africa. My lively fancy revelled in the + new sensation. I invented a name for the town, a code of laws for the + inhabitants, productions, antiquities, chalybeate springs, population, + statistics of crime, and so on, while I walked about the streets, looked + in at the shop-windows, and attentively examined the Market-place and + Town-hall. Experienced travelers, who have exhausted all novelties, would + do well to follow my example; they may be certain, for one day at least, + of getting some fresh ideas, and feeling a new sensation. + </p> + <p> + On returning to dinner in the coffee-room, I found all the London papers + on the table. + </p> + <p> + The <i>Morning Post</i> happened to lie uppermost, so I took it away to my + own seat to occupy the time, while my unpretending bit of fish was frying. + Glancing lazily at the advertisements on the first page, to begin with, I + was astonished by the appearance of the following lines, at the top of a + column: + </p> + <p> + “If F— —K S—FTL—Y will communicate with his + distressed and alarmed relatives, Mr. and Mrs. B—TT—RB—RY, + he will hear of something to his advantage, and may be assured that all + will be once more forgiven. A—B—LLA entreats him to write.” + </p> + <p> + What, in the name of all that is most mysterious, does this mean! was my + first thought after reading the advertisement. Can Lady Malkinshaw have + taken a fresh lease of that impregnable vital tenement, at the door of + which Death has been knocking vainly for so many years past? (Nothing more + likely.) Was my felonious connection with Doctor Dulcifer suspected? (It + seemed improbable.) One thing, however, was certain: I was missed, and the + Batterburys were naturally anxious about me—anxious enough to + advertise in the public papers. + </p> + <p> + I debated with myself whether I should answer their pathetic appeal or + not. I had all my money about me (having never let it out of my own + possession during my stay in the red-brick house), and there was plenty of + it for the present; so I thought it best to leave the alarm and distress + of my anxious relatives unrelieved for a little while longer, and to + return quietly to the perusal of the <i> Morning Post.</i> + </p> + <p> + Five minutes of desultory reading brought me unexpectedly to an + explanation of the advertisement, in the shape of the following paragraph: + </p> + <p> + “ALARMING ILLNESS OF LADY MALKINSHAW.—We regret to announce that + this venerable lady was seized with an alarming illness on Saturday last, + at her mansion in town. The attack took the character of a fit—of + what precise nature we have not been able to learn. Her ladyship’s medical + attendant and near relative, Doctor Softly, was immediately called in, and + predicted the most fatal results. Fresh medical attendance was secured, + and her ladyship’s nearest surviving relatives, Mrs. Softly, and Mr. and + Mrs. Batterbury, of Duskydale Park, were summoned. At the time of their + arrival her ladyship’s condition was comatose, her breathing being highly + stertorous. If we are rightly informed, Doctor Softly and the other + medical gentlemen present gave it as their opinion that if the pulse of + the venerable sufferer did not rally in the course of a quarter of an hour + at most, very lamentable results might be anticipated. For fourteen + minutes, as our reporter was informed, no change took place; but, strange + to relate, immediately afterward her ladyship’s pulse rallied suddenly in + the most extraordinary manner. She was observed to open her eyes very + wide, and was heard, to the surprise and delight of all surrounding the + couch, to ask why her ladyship’s usual lunch of chicken-broth with a glass + of Amontillado sherry was not placed on the table as usual. These + refreshments having been produced, under the sanction of the medical + gentlemen, the aged patient partook of them with an appearance of the + utmost relish. Since this happy alteration for the better, her ladyship’s + health has, we rejoice to say, rapidly improved; and the answer now given + to all friendly and fashionable inquirers is, in the venerable lady’s own + humorous phraseology, ‘Much better than could be expected.’” + </p> + <p> + Well done, my excellent grandmother! my firm, my unwearied, my undying + friend! Never can I say that my case is desperate while you can swallow + your chicken-broth and sip your Amontillado sherry. The moment I want + money, I will write to Mr. Batterbury, and cut another little golden slice + out of that possible three-thousand-pound-cake, for which he has already + suffered and sacrificed so much. In the meantime, O venerable protectress + of the wandering Rogue! let me gratefully drink your health in the + nastiest and smallest half-pint of sherry this palate ever tasted, or + these eyes ever beheld! + </p> + <p> + I went to bed that night in great spirits. My luck seemed to be returning + to me; and I began to feel more than hopeful of really discovering my + beloved Alicia at Crickgelly, under the alias of Miss Giles. + </p> + <p> + The next morning the Rev. John Jones descended to breakfast so rosy, + bland, and smiling, that the chambermaids simpered as he tripped by them + in the passage, and the landlady bowed graciously as he passed her parlor + door. The coach drove up, and the reverend gentleman (after waiting + characteristically for the woman’s ladder) mounted to his place on the + roof, behind the coachman. One man sat there who had got up before him—and + who should that man be, but the chief of the Bow Street runners, who had + rashly tried to take Doctor Dulcifer into custody! + </p> + <p> + There could not be the least doubt of his identity; I should have known + his face again among a hundred. He looked at me as I took my place by his + side, with one sharp searching glance—then turned his head away + toward the road. Knowing that he had never set eyes on my face (thanks to + the convenient peephole at the red-brick house), I thought my meeting with + him was likely to be rather advantageous than otherwise. I had now an + opportunity of watching the proceedings of one of our pursuers, at any + rate—and surely this was something gained. + </p> + <p> + “Fine morning, sir,” I said politely. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” he replied in the gruffest of monosyllables. + </p> + <p> + I was not offended: I could make allowance for the feelings of a man who + had been locked up by his own prisoner. + </p> + <p> + “Very fine morning, indeed,” I repeated, soothingly and cheerfully. + </p> + <p> + The runner only grunted this time. Well, well! we all have our little + infirmities. I don’t think the worse of the man now, for having been rude + to me, that morning, on the top of the Shrewsbury coach. + </p> + <p> + The next passenger who got up and placed himself by my side was a florid, + excitable, confused-looking gentleman, excessively talkative and familiar. + He was followed by a sulky agricultural youth in top-boots—and then, + the complement of passengers on our seat behind the coachman was complete. + </p> + <p> + “Heard the news, sir?” said the florid man, turning to me. + </p> + <p> + “Not that I am aware of,” I answered. + </p> + <p> + “It’s the most tremendous thing that has happened these fifty years,” said + the florid man. “A gang of coiners, sir, discovered at Barkingham—in + a house they used to call the Grange. All the dreadful lot of bad silver + that’s been about, they’re at the bottom of. And the head of the gang not + taken!—escaped, sir, like a ghost on the stage, through a trap-door, + after actually locking the runners into his workshop. The blacksmiths from + Barkingham had to break them out; the whole house was found full of iron + doors, back staircases, and all that sort of thing, just like the + Inquisition. A most respectable man, the original proprietor! Think what a + misfortune to have let his house to a scoundrel who has turned the whole + inside into traps, furnaces, and iron doors. The fellow’s reference, sir, + was actually at a London bank, where he kept a first-rate account. What is + to become of society? where is our protection? Where are our characters, + when we are left at the mercy of scoundrels? The times are awful—upon + my soul, the times we live in are perfectly awful!” + </p> + <p> + “Pray, sir, is there any chance of catching this coiner?” I inquired + innocently. + </p> + <p> + “I hope so, sir; for the sake of outraged society, I hope so,” said the + excitable man. “They’ve printed handbills at Barkingham, offering a reward + for taking him. I was with my friend the mayor, early this morning, and + saw them issued. ‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘I’m going West—give me a few + copies—let me help to circulate them—for the sake of outraged + society, let me help to circulate them. Here they are—take a few, + sir, for distribution. You’ll see these are three other fellows to be + caught besides the principal rascal—one of them a scamp belonging to + a respectable family. Oh! what times! Take three copies, and pray + circulate them in three influential quarters. Perhaps that gentleman next + you would like a few. Will you take three, sir?” + </p> + <p> + “No, I won’t,” said the Bow Street runner doggedly. “Nor yet one of ‘em—and + it’s my opinion that the coining-gang would be nabbed all the sooner, if + you was to give over helping the law to catch them.” + </p> + <p> + This answer produced a vehement expostulation from my excitable neighbor, + to which I paid little attention, being better engaged in reading the + handbill. + </p> + <p> + It described the doctor’s personal appearance with remarkable accuracy, + and cautioned persons in seaport towns to be on the lookout for him. Old + File, Young File, and myself were all dishonorably mentioned together in a + second paragraph, as runaways of inferior importance Not a word was said + in the handbill to show that the authorities at Barkingham even so much as + suspected the direction in which any one of us had escaped. This would + have been very encouraging, but for the presence of the runner by my side, + which looked as if Bow Street had its suspicions, however innocent + Barkingham might be. + </p> + <p> + Could the doctor have directed his flight toward Crickgelly? I trembled + internally as the question suggested itself to me. Surely he would prefer + writing to Miss Giles to join him when he got to a safe place of refuge, + rather than encumber himself with the young lady before he was well out of + reach of the far-stretching arm of the law. This seemed infinitely the + most natural course of conduct. Still, there was the runner traveling + toward Wales—and not certainly without a special motive. I put the + handbills in my pocket, and listened for any hints which might creep out + in his talk; but he perversely kept silent. The more my excitable neighbor + tried to dispute with him, the more contemptuously he refused to break + silence. I began to feel vehemently impatient for our arrival at + Shrewsbury; for there only could I hope to discover something more of my + formidable fellow-traveler’s plans. + </p> + <p> + The coach stopped for dinner; and some of our passengers left us, the + excitable man with the handbills among the number. I got down, and stood + on the doorstep of the inn, pretending to be looking about me, but in + reality watching the movements of the runner. + </p> + <p> + Rather to my surprise, I saw him go to the door of the coach and speak to + one of the inside passengers. After a short conversation, of which I could + not hear one word, the runner left the coach door and entered the inn, + called for a glass of brandy and water, and took it out to his friend, who + had not left the vehicle. The friend bent forward to receive it at the + window. I caught a glimpse of his face, and felt my knees tremble under me—it + was Screw himself! + </p> + <p> + Screw, pale and haggard-looking, evidently not yet recovered from the + effect of my grip on his throat! Screw, in attendance on the runner, + traveling inside the coach in the character of an invalid. He must be + going this journey to help the Bow Street officers to identify some one of + our scattered gang of whom they were in pursuit. It could not be the + doctor—the runner could discover him without assistance from + anybody. Why might it not be me? + </p> + <p> + I began to think whether it would be best to trust boldly in my disguise, + and my lucky position outside the coach, or whether I should abandon my + fellow-passengers immediately. It was not easy to settle at once which + course was the safest—so I tried the effect of looking at my two + alternatives from another point of view. Should I risk everything, and go + on resolutely to Crickgelly, on the chance of discovering that Alicia and + Miss Giles were one and the same person—or should I give up on the + spot the only prospect of finding my lost mistress, and direct my + attention entirely to the business of looking after my own safety? + </p> + <p> + As the latter alternative practically resolved itself into the simple + question of whether I should act like a man who was in love, or like a man + who was not, my natural instincts settled the difficulty in no time. I + boldly imitated the example of my fellow-passengers, and went in to + dinner, determined to go on afterward to Crickgelly, though all Bow Street + should be following at my heels. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII. + </h2> + <p> + SECURE as I tried to feel in my change of costume, my cropped hair, and my + whiskerless cheeks, I kept well away from the coach-window, when the + dinner at the inn was over and the passengers were called to take their + places again. Thus far—thanks to the strength of my grasp on his + neck, which had left him too weak to be an outside passenger—Screw + had certainly not seen me; and, if I played my cards properly, there was + no reason why he should see me before we got to our destination. + </p> + <p> + Throughout the rest of the journey I observed the strictest caution, and + fortune seconded my efforts. It was dark when we got to Shrewsbury. On + leaving the coach I was enabled, under cover of the night, to keep a sharp + watch on the proceedings of Screw and his Bow Street ally. They did not + put up at the hotel, but walked away to a public house. There, my clerical + character obliged me to leave them at the door. + </p> + <p> + I returned to the hotel, to make inquiries about conveyances. + </p> + <p> + The answers informed me that Crickgelly was a little fishing-village, and + that there was no coach direct to it, but that two coaches running to two + small Welsh towns situated at nearly equal distances from my destination, + on either side of it, would pass through Shrewsbury the next morning. The + waiter added, that I could book a place—conditionally—by + either of these vehicles; and that, as they were always well-filled, I had + better be quick in making my choice between them. Matters had now arrived + at such a pass, that nothing was left for me but to trust to chance. If I + waited till the morning to see whether Screw and the Bow Street runner + traveled in my direction, and to find out, in case they did, which coach + they took, I should be running the risk of losing a place for myself, and + so delaying my journey for another day. This was not to be thought of. I + told the waiter to book me a place in which coach he pleased. The two were + called respectively The Humming Bee, and The Red Cross Knight. The waiter + chose the latter. + </p> + <p> + Sleep was not much in my way that night. I rose almost as early as Boots + himself—breakfasted—then sat at the coffee-room window looking + out anxiously for the two coaches. + </p> + <p> + Nobody seemed to agree which would pass first. Each of the inn servants of + whom I inquired made it a matter of partisanship, and backed his favorite + coach with the most consummate assurance. At last, I heard the guard’s + horn and the clatter of the horses’ hoofs. Up drove a coach—I looked + out cautiously—it was the Humming Bee. Three outside places were + vacant; one behind the coachman; two on the dickey. The first was taken + immediately by a farmer, the second—-to my unspeakable disgust and + terror—was secured by the inevitable Bow Street runner; who, as soon + as h e was up, helped the weakly Screw into the third place, by his side. + They were going to Crickgelly; not a doubt of it, now. + </p> + <p> + I grew mad with impatience for the arrival of the Red Cross Knight. + Half-an-hour passed—forty minutes—and then I heard another + horn and another clatter—and the Red Cross Knight rattled up to the + hotel door at full speed. What if there should be no vacant place for me! + I ran to the door with a sinking heart. Outside, the coach was declared to + be full. + </p> + <p> + “There is one inside place,” said the waiter, “if you don’t mind paying + the—” + </p> + <p> + Before he could say the rest, I was occupying that one inside place. I + remember nothing of the journey from the time we left the hotel door, + except that it was fearfully long. At some hour of the day with which I + was not acquainted (for my watch had stopped for want of winding up), I + was set down in a clean little street of a prim little town (the name of + which I never thought of asking), and was told that the coach never went + any further. + </p> + <p> + No post-chaise was to be had. With incredible difficulty I got first a + gig, then a man to drive it; and, last, a pony to draw it. We hobbled away + crazily from the inn door. I thought of Screw and the Bow Street runner + approaching Crickgelly, from their point of the compass, perhaps at the + full speed of a good post-chaise—I thought of that, and would have + given all the money in my pocket for two hours’ use of a fast road-hack. + </p> + <p> + Judging by the time we occupied in making the journey, and a little also + by my own impatience, I should say that Crickgelly must have been at least + twenty miles distant from the town where I took the gig. The sun was + setting, when we first heard, through the evening stillness, the sound of + the surf on the seashore. The twilight was falling as we entered the + little fishing village, and let our unfortunate pony stop, for the last + time, at a small inn door. + </p> + <p> + The first question I asked of the landlord was, whether two gentlemen + (friends of mine, of course, whom I expected to meet) had driven into + Crickgelly, a little while before me. The reply was in the negative; and + the sense of relief it produced seemed to rest me at once, body and mind, + after my long and anxious journey. Either I had beaten the spies on the + road, or they were not bound to Crickgelly. Any way, I had first + possession of the field of action. I paid the man who had driven me, and + asked my way to Zion Place. My directions were simple—I had only to + go through the village, and I should find Zion Place at the other end of + it. + </p> + <p> + The village had a very strong smell, and a curious habit of building boats + in the street between intervals of detached cottages; a helpless, muddy, + fishy little place. I walked through it rapidly; turned inland a few + hundred yards; ascended some rising ground; and discerned, in the dim + twilight, four small lonesome villas standing in pairs, with a shed and a + saw-pit on one side, and a few shells of unfinished houses on the other. + Some madly speculative builder was evidently trying to turn Crickgelly + into a watering-place. + </p> + <p> + I made out Number Two, and discovered the bell-handle with difficulty, it + was growing so dark. A servant-maid—corporeally enormous; but, as I + soon found, in a totally undeveloped state, mentally—opened the + door. + </p> + <p> + “Does Miss Giles live here?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t see no visitors,” answered the large maiden. “‘T’other one tried it + and had to go away. You go, too.” + </p> + <p> + “‘T’othor one?” I repeated. “Another visitor? And when did he call?” + </p> + <p> + “Better than an hour ago.” + </p> + <p> + “Was there nobody with him?” + </p> + <p> + “No. Don’t see no visitors. He went. You go, too.” + </p> + <p> + Just as she repeated that exasperating formula of words, a door opened at + the end of the passage. My voice had evidently reached the ears of + somebody in the back parlor. Who the person was I could not see, but I + heard the rustle of a woman’s dress. My situation was growing desperate, + my suspicions were aroused—I determined to risk everything—and + I called softly in the direction of the open door, “Alicia!” + </p> + <p> + A voice answered, “Good heavens! Frank?” It was <i>her</i> voice. She had + recognized mine. I pushed past the big servant; in two steps I was at the + end of the passage; in one more I was in the back parlor. + </p> + <p> + She was there, standing alone by the side of a table. Seeing my changed + costume and altered face, she turned deadly pale, and stretched her hand + behind her mechanically, as if to take hold of a chair. I caught her in my + arms; but I was afraid to kiss her—she trembled so when I only + touched her. + </p> + <p> + “Frank!” she said, drawing her head back. “What is it? How did you find + out? For mercy’s sake what does it mean?” + </p> + <p> + “It means, love, that I’ve come to take care of you for the rest of your + life and mine, if you will only let me. Don’t tremble—there’s + nothing to be afraid of! Only compose yourself, and I’ll tell you why I am + here in this strange disguise. Come, come, Alicia!—don’t look like + that at me. You called me Frank just now, for the first time. Would you + have done that, if you had disliked me or forgotten me?” + </p> + <p> + I saw her color beginning to come back—the old bright glow returning + to the dear dusky cheeks. If I had not seen them so near me, I might have + exercised some self-control—as it was, I lost my presence of mind + entirely, and kissed her. + </p> + <p> + She drew herself away half-frightened, half-confused—certainly not + offended, and, apparently, not very likely to faint—which was more + than I could have said of her when I first entered the room. Before she + had time to reflect on the peril and awkwardness of our position, I + pressed the first necessary questions on her rapidly, one after the other. + </p> + <p> + “Where is Mrs. Baggs?” I asked first. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Baggs was the housekeeper. + </p> + <p> + Alicia pointed to the closed folding-doors. “In the front parlor; asleep + on the sofa.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you any suspicion who the stranger was who called more than an hour + ago?” + </p> + <p> + “None. The servant told him we saw no visitors, and he went away, without + leaving his name.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you heard from your father?” + </p> + <p> + She began to turn pale again, but controlled herself bravely, and answered + in a whisper: + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Baggs had a short note from him this morning. It was not dated; and + it only said circumstances had happened which obliged him to leave home + suddenly, and that we were to wait here till be wrote again, most likely + in a few days.” + </p> + <p> + “Now, Alicia,” I said, as lightly as I could, “I have the highest possible + opinion of your courage, good-sense, and self-control; and I shall expect + you to keep up your reputation in my eyes, while you are listening to what + I have to tell you.” + </p> + <p> + Saying these words, I took her by the hand and made her sit close by me; + then, breaking it to her as gently and gradually as possible, I told her + all that had happened at the red-brick house since the evening when she + left the dinner-table, and we exchanged our parting look at the + dining-room door. + </p> + <p> + It was almost as great a trial to me to speak as it was to her to hear. + She suffered so violently, felt such evident misery of shame and terror, + while I was relating the strange events which had occurred in her absence, + that I once or twice stopped in alarm, and almost repented my boldness in + telling her the truth. However, fair-dealing with her, cruel as it might + seem at the time, was the best and safest course for the future. How could + I expect her to put all her trust in me if I began by deceiving her—if + I fell into prevarications and excuses at the very outset of our renewal + of intercourse? I went on desperately to the end, taking a hopeful view of + the most hopeless circumstances, and making my narrative as mercifully + short as possible. + </p> + <p> + When I had done, the poor girl, in the extremity of her forlornness and + distress, forgot all the little maidenly conventionalities and + young-lady-like restraints of everyday life—and, in a burst of + natural grief and honest confiding helplessness, hid her face on my bosom, + and cried there as if she were a child again, and I was the mother to whom + she had been used to look for comfort. + </p> + <p> + I made no attempt to stop her tears—they were the safest and best + vent for the violent agitation under which she was suffering. I said + nothing; words, at such a ti me as that, would only have aggravated her + distress. All the questions I had to ask; all the proposals I had to make, + must, I felt, be put off—no matter at what risk—until some + later and calmer hour. There we sat together, with one long unsnuffed + candle lighting us smokily; with the discordantly-grotesque sound of the + housekeeper’s snoring in the front room, mingling with the sobs of the + weeping girl on my bosom. No other noise, great or small, inside the house + or out of it, was audible. The summer night looked black and cloudy + through the little back window. + </p> + <p> + I was not much easier in my mind, now that the trial of breaking my bad + news to Alicia was over. That stranger who had called at the house an hour + before me, weighed on my spirits. It could not have been Doctor Dulcifer. + He would have gained admission. Could it be the Bow Street runner, or + Screw? I had lost sight of them, it is true; but had they lost sight of + me? + </p> + <p> + Alicia’s grief gradually exhausted itself. She feebly raised her head, + and, turning it away from me, hid her face. I saw that she was not fit for + talking yet, and begged her to go upstairs to the drawing-room and lie + down a little. She looked apprehensively toward the folding-doors that + shut us off from the front parlor. + </p> + <p> + “Leave Mrs. Baggs to me,” I said. “I want to have a few words with her; + and, as soon as you are gone, I’ll make noise enough here to wake her.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia looked at me inquiringly and amazedly. I did not speak again. Time + was now of terrible importance to us—I gently led her to the door. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV. + </h2> + <p> + As soon as I was alone, I took from my pocket one of the handbills which + my excitable fellow-traveler had presented to me, so as to have it ready + for Mrs. Baggs the moment we stood face to face. Armed with this ominous + letter of introduction, I kicked a chair down against the folding-doors, + by way of giving a preliminary knock to arouse the housekeeper’s + attention. The plan was immediately successful. Mrs. Baggs opened the + doors of communication violently. A slight smell of spirits entered the + room, and was followed close by the housekeeper herself, with an indignant + face and a disordered head-dress. + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, sir? How dare you—” she began; then stopped + aghast, looking at me in speechless astonishment. + </p> + <p> + “I have been obliged to make a slight alteration in my personal + appearance, ma’am,” I said. “But I am still Frank Softly.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t talk to me about personal appearances, sir,” cried Mrs. Baggs + recovering. “What do you mean by being here? Leave the house immediately. + I shall write to the doctor, Mr. Softly, this very night.” + </p> + <p> + “He has no address you can direct to,” I rejoined. “If you don’t believe + me, read that.” I gave her the handbill without another word of preface. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Baggs looked at it—lost in an instant some of the fine color + plentifully diffused over her face by sleep and spirits—sat down in + the nearest chair with a thump that seemed to threaten the very + foundations of Number Two, Zion Place—and stared me hard in the + face; the most speechless and helpless elderly female I ever beheld. + </p> + <p> + “Take plenty of time to compose yourself ma’am,” I said. “If you don’t see + the doctor again soon, under the gallows, you will probably not have the + pleasure of meeting with him for some considerable time.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Baggs smote both her hands distractedly on her knees, and whispered a + devout ejaculation to herself softly. + </p> + <p> + “Allow me to deal with you, ma’am, as a woman of the world,” I went on. + “If you will give me half-an-hour’s hearing, I will explain to you how I + come to know what I do; how I got here; and what I have to propose to Miss + Alicia and to you.” + </p> + <p> + “If you have the feelings of a man, sir,” said Mrs. Baggs, shaking her + head and raising her eyes to heaven, “you will remember that I have + nerves, and will not presume upon them.” + </p> + <p> + As the old lady uttered the last words, I thought I saw her eyes turn from + heaven, and take the earthly direction of the sofa in the front parlor. It + struck me also that her lips looked rather dry. Upon these two hints I + spoke. + </p> + <p> + “Might I suggest some little stimulant?” I asked, with respectful + earnestness. “I have heard my grandmother (Lady Malkinshaw) say that, ‘a + drop in time saves nine.’” + </p> + <p> + “You will find it under the sofa pillow,” said Mrs. Baggs, with sudden + briskness. “‘A drop in time saves nine’—my sentiments, if I may put + myself on a par with her ladyship. The liqueur-glass, Mr. Softly, is in + the backgammon-board. I hope her ladyship was well the last time you heard + from her? Suffers from her nerves, does she? Like me, again. In the + backgammon-board. Oh, this news, this awful news!” + </p> + <p> + I found the bottle of brandy in the place indicated, but no liqueur-glass + in the backgammon-board. There was, however, a wine-glass, accidentally + left on a chair by the sofa. Mrs. Baggs did not seem to notice the + difference when I brought it into the back room and filled it with brandy. + </p> + <p> + “Take a toothful yourself,” said Mrs. Baggs, lightly tossing off the dram + in a moment. “‘A drop in time’—I can’t help repeating it, it’s so + nicely expressed. Still, with submission to her ladyship’s better + judgment, Mr. Softly, the question seems now to arise, whether, if one + drop in time saves nine, two drops in time may not save eighteen.” Here + Mrs. Baggs forgot her nerves and winked. I returned the wink and filled + the glass a second time. “Oh, this news, this awful news!” said Mrs. + Baggs, remembering her nerves again. + </p> + <p> + Just then I thought I heard footsteps in front of the house, but, + listening more attentively, found that it had begun to rain, and that I + had been deceived by the pattering of the first heavy drops against the + windows. However, the bare suspicion that the same stranger who had called + already might be watching the house now, was enough to startle me very + seriously, and to suggest the absolute necessity of occupying no more + precious time in paying attention to the vagaries of Mrs. Baggs’ nerves. + It was also of some importance that I should speak to her while she was + sober enough to understand what I meant in a general way. + </p> + <p> + Feeling convinced that she was in imminent danger of becoming downright + drunk if I gave her another glass, I kept my hand on the bottle, and + forthwith told my story over again in a very abridged and unceremonious + form, and without allowing her one moment of leisure for comment on my + narrative, whether it might be of the weeping, winking, drinking, + groaning, or ejaculating kind. As I had anticipated, when I came to a + conclusion, and consequently allowed her an opportunity of saying a few + words, she affected to be extremely shocked and surprised at hearing of + the nature of her master’s pursuits, and reproached me in terms of the + most vehement and virtuous indignation for incurring the guilt of abetting + them, even though I had done so from the very excusable motive of saving + my own life. Having a lively sense of the humorous, I was necessarily + rather amused by this; but I began to get a little surprised as well, when + we diverged to the subject of the doctor’s escape, on finding that Mrs. + Baggs viewed the fact of his running away to some hiding-place of his own + in the light of a personal insult to his faithful and attached + housekeeper. + </p> + <p> + “It shows a want of confidence in me,” said the old lady, “which I may + forgive, but can never forget. The sacrifices I have made for that + ungrateful man are not to be told in words. The very morning he sent us + away here, what did I do? Packed up the moment he said Go. I had my + preserves to pot, and the kitchen chimney to be swept, and the lock of my + box hampered into the bargain. Other women in my place would have grumbled—I + got up directly, as lively as any girl of eighteen you like to mention. + Says he, ‘I want Alicia taken out of young Softly’s way, and you must do + it.’—-Says I, ‘This very morning, sir?’—Says he, ‘This very + morning.’—Says I, ‘Where to?’—Says he, ‘As far off as ever you + can go; coast of Wales—Crickgelly. I won’t trust her nearer; young + Softly’s too cunning, and she’s too fond of him.’—‘Any more orders, + sir?’ says I.—‘Yes; take some fancy name—Simkins, Johnson, + Giles, Jones, James,’ says he, ‘what you like bu t Dulcifer; for that + scamp Softly will move heaven and earth to trace her.’—‘What else?’ + says I.—‘Nothing, but look sharp,’ says he; ‘and mind one thing, + that she sees no visitors, and posts no letters.’ Before those last words + had been out of his wicked lips an hour, we were off. A nice job I had to + get her away—a nice job to stop her from writing letters to you—a + nice job to keep her here. But I did it; I followed my orders like a slave + in a plantation with a whip at his bare back. I’ve had rheumatics, weak + legs, bad nights, and miss in the sulks—all from obeying the + doctor’s orders. And what is my reward? He turns coiner, and runs away + without a word to me beforehand, and writes me a trumpery note, without a + date to it, without a farthing of money in it, telling me nothing! Look at + my confidence in him, and then look at the way he’s treated me in return. + What woman’s nerves can stand that? Don’t keep fidgeting with the bottle! + Pass it this way, Mr. Softly, or you’ll break it, and drive me + distracted.” + </p> + <p> + “He has no excuse, ma’am,” I said. “But will you allow me to change the + subject, as I am pressed for time? You appear to be so well acquainted + with the favorable opinion which Miss Alicia and I entertain of each + other, that I hope it will be no fresh shock to your nerves, if I inform + you, in plain words, that I have come to Crickgelly to marry her.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry her! marry—If you don’t leave off fidgeting with the bottle, + Mr. Softly, and change the subject directly, I shall ring the bell.” + </p> + <p> + “Hear me out, ma’am, and then ring if you like. If you persist, however, + in considering yourself still the confidential servant of a felon who is + now flying for his life, and if you decline allowing the young lady to act + as she wishes, I will not be so rude as to hint that—as she is of + age—she may walk out of this house with me, whenever she likes, + without your having the power to prevent her; but, I will politely ask + instead, what you would propose to do with her, in the straitened position + as to money in which she and you are likely to be placed? You can’t find + her father to give her to; and, if you could, who would be the best + protector for her? The doctor, who is the principal criminal in the eye of + the law, or I, who am only the unwilling accomplice? He is known to the + Bow Street runners—I am not. There is a reward for the taking of + him, and none for the taking of me. He has no respectable relatives and + friends, I have plenty. Every way my chances are the best; and + consequently I am, every way, the fittest person to trust her to. Don’t + you see that?” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Baggs did not immediately answer. She snatched the bottle out of my + hands—drank off another dram, shook her head at me, and ejaculated + lamentably: “My nerves, my nerves! what a heart of stone he must have to + presume on my poor nerves!” + </p> + <p> + “Give me one minute more,” I went on. “I propose to take you and Alicia + to-morrow morning to Scotland. Pray don’t groan! I only suggest the + journey with a matrimonial object. In Scotland, Mrs. Baggs, if a man and + woman accept each other as husband and wife, before one witness, it is a + lawful marriage; and that kind of wedding is, as you see plainly enough, + the only safe refuge for a bridegroom in my situation. If you consent to + come with us to Scotland, and serve as witness to the marriage, I shall be + delighted to acknowledge my sense of your kindness in the eloquent + language of the Bank of England, as expressed to the world in general on + the surface of a five-pound note.” + </p> + <p> + I cautiously snatched away the brandy bottle as I spoke, and was in the + drawing-room with it in an instant. As I suppose, Mrs. Baggs tried to + follow me, for I heard the door rattle, as if she had got out of her + chair, and suddenly slipped back into it again. I felt certain of her + deciding to help us, if she was only sober enough to reflect on what I had + said to her. The journey to Scotland was a tedious, and perhaps a + dangerous, undertaking. But I had no other alternative to choose. + </p> + <p> + In those uncivilized days, the Marriage Act had not been passed, and there + was no convenient hymeneal registrar in England to change a vagabond + runaway couple into a respectable man and wife at a moment’s notice. The + trouble and expense of taking Mrs. Baggs with us, I encountered, of + course, solely out of regard for Alicia’s natural prejudices. She had led + precisely that kind of life which makes any woman but a bad one morbidly + sensitive on the subject of small proprieties. If she had been a girl with + a recognized position in society, I should have proposed to her to run + away with me alone. As it was, the very defenselessness of her situation + gave her, in my opinion, the right to expect from me even the absurdest + sacrifices to the narrowest conventionalities. Mrs. Baggs was not quite so + sober in her habits, perhaps, as matrons in general are expected to be; + but, for my particular purpose, this was only a slight blemish; it takes + so little, after all, to represent the abstract principle of propriety in + the short-sighted eye of the world. + </p> + <p> + As I reached the drawing-room door, I looked at my watch. + </p> + <p> + Nine o’clock! and nothing done yet to facilitate our escaping from + Crickgelly to the regions of civilized life the next morning. I was + pleased to hear, when I knocked at the door, that Alicia’s voice sounded + firmer as she told me to come in. She was more confused than astonished or + frightened when I sat down by her on the sofa, and repeated the principal + topics of my conversion with Mrs. Baggs. + </p> + <p> + “Now, my own love,” I said, in conclusion—suiting my gestures, it is + unnecessary to say, to the tenderness of my language—“there is not + the least doubt that Mrs. Baggs will end by agreeing to my proposals. + Nothing remains, therefore, but for you to give me the answer now, which I + have been waiting for ever since that last day when we met by the + riverside. I did not know then what the motive was for your silence and + distress. I know now, and I love you better after that knowledge than I + did before it.” + </p> + <p> + Her head dropped into its former position on my bosom, and she murmured a + few words, but too faintly for me to hear them. + </p> + <p> + “You knew more about your father, then, than I did?” I whispered. + </p> + <p> + “Less than you have told me since,” she interposed quickly, without + raising her face. + </p> + <p> + “Enough to convince you that he was breaking the laws,” I suggested; “and, + to make you, as his daughter, shrink from saying ‘yes’ to me when we sat + together on the river bank?” + </p> + <p> + She did not answer. One of her arms, which was hanging over my shoulder, + stole round my neck, and clasped it gently. + </p> + <p> + “Since that time,” I went on, “your father has compromised me. I am in + some danger, not much, from the law. I have no prospects that are not of + the most doubtful kind; and I have no excuse for asking you to share them, + except that I have fallen into my present misfortune through trying to + discover the obstacle that kept us apart. If there is any protection in + the world that you can turn to, less doubtful than mine, I suppose I ought + to say no more, and leave the house. But if there should be none, surely I + am not so very selfish in asking you to take your chance with me? I + honestly believe that I shall have little difficulty, with ordinary + caution, in escaping from pursuit, and finding a safe home somewhere to + begin life in again with new interests. Will you share it with me, Alicia? + I can try no fresh persuasions—-I have no right, perhaps, in my + present situation to have addressed so many to you already.” + </p> + <p> + Her other arm stole round my neck; she laid her cheek against mine, and + whispered— + </p> + <p> + “Be kind to me, Frank—I have nobody in the world who loves me but + you!” + </p> + <p> + I felt her tears on my face; my own eyes moistened as I tried to answer + her. We sat for some minutes in perfect silence—without moving, + without a thought beyond the moment. The rising of the wind, and the + splashing of the rain outside were the first sounds that stirred me into + action again. + </p> + <p> + I summoned my resolution, rose from the sofa, and in a few hasty words + told Alicia what I proposed for the next day, and mentioned the hour at + which I would come in the morning. As I had anticipated, she seemed + relieved and reassured at the prospect even of such slight sanction and + encouragement, on the part of another woman, as would be implied by the + companionship of Mrs. Baggs on the journey to Scotland. + </p> + <p> + The next and last difficulty I had to encounter was necessarily connected + with her father. He had never been very affectionate; and he was now, for + aught she or I knew to the contrary, parted from her forever. Still, the + instinctive recognition of his position made her shrink, at the last + moment, when she spoke of him, and thought of the serious nature of her + engagement with me. After some vain arguing and remonstrating, I contrived + to quiet her scruples, by promising that an address should be left at + Crickgelly, to which any second letter that might arrive from the doctor + could be forwarded. When I saw that this prospect of being able to + communicate with him, if he wrote or wished to see her, had sufficiently + composed her mind, I left the drawing-room. It was vitally important that + I should get back to the inn and make the necessary arrangements for our + departure the next morning, before the primitive people of the place had + retired to bed. + </p> + <p> + As I passed the back parlor door on my way out, I heard the voice of Mrs. + Baggs raised indignantly. The words “bottle!” “audacity!” and “nerves!” + reached my ear disjointedly. I called out “Good-by! till to-morrow;” heard + a responsive groan of disgust; then opened the front door, and plunged out + into the dark and rainy night. + </p> + <p> + It might have been the dropping of water from the cottage roofs while I + passed through the village, or the groundless alarm of my own suspicious + fancy, but I thought I was being followed as I walked back to the inn. Two + or three times I turned round abruptly. If twenty men had been at my + heels, it was too dark to see them. I went on to the inn. + </p> + <p> + The people there were not gone to bed; and I sent for the landlord to + consult with him about a conveyance. Perhaps it was my suspicious fancy + again; but I thought his manner was altered. He seemed half distrustful, + half afraid of me, when I asked him if there had been any signs, during my + absence, of those two gentlemen, for whom I had already inquired on + arriving at his door that evening. He gave an answer in the negative, + looking away from me while he spoke. + </p> + <p> + Thinking it advisable, on the whole, not to let him see that I noticed a + change in him, I proceeded at once to the question of the conveyance, and + was told that I could hire the landlord’s light cart, in which he was + accustomed to drive to the market town. I appointed an hour for starting + the next day, and retired at once to my bedroom. There my thoughts were + enough. I was anxious about Screw and the Bow Street runner. I was + uncertain about the stranger who had called at Number Two, Zion Place. I + was in doubt even about the landlord of the inn. Never did I know what + real suffering from suspense was, until that night, Whatever my + apprehensions might have been, they were none of them realized the next + morning. + </p> + <p> + Nobody followed me on my way to Zion Place, and no stranger had called + there before me a second time, when I made inquiries on entering the + house. I found Alicia blushing, and Mrs. Baggs impenetrably wrapped up in + dignified sulkiness. After informing me with a lofty look that she + intended to go to Scotland with us, and to take my five-pound note—partly + under protest, and partly out of excessive affection for Alicia—she + retired to pack up. The time consumed in performing this process, and the + further delay occasioned by paying small outstanding debts to + tradespeople, and settling with the owner of the house, detained us till + nearly noon before we were ready to get into the landlord’s cart. + </p> + <p> + I looked behind me anxiously at starting, and often afterward on the road; + but never saw anything to excite my suspicions. In settling matters with + the landlord over night, I had arranged that we should be driven to the + nearest town at which a post-chaise could be obtained. My resources were + just as likely to hold out against the expenses of posting, where public + conveyances could not be obtained, as against the expense of waiting + privately at hotels, until the right coaches might start. According to my + calculations, my money would last till we got to Scotland. After that, I + had my watch, rings, shirtpin, and Mr. Batterbury, to help in replenishing + my purse. Anxious, therefore, as I was about other things, money matters, + for once in a way, did not cause me the smallest uneasiness. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV. + </h2> + <p> + WE posted five-and-thirty miles, then stopped for a couple of hours to + rest, and wait for a night coach running northward. + </p> + <p> + On getting into this vehicle we were fortunate enough to find the fourth + inside place not occupied. Mrs. Baggs showed her sense of the freedom from + restraint thus obtained by tying a huge red comforter round her head like + a turban, and immediately falling fast asleep. This gave Alicia and me + full liberty to talk as we pleased. Our conversation was for the most part + of that particular kind which is not of the smallest importance to any + third person in the whole world. One portion of it, however, was an + exception to this general rule. It had a very positive influence on my + fortunes, and it is, therefore, I hope, of sufficient importance to bear + being communicated to the reader. + </p> + <p> + We had changed horses for the fourth time, had seated ourselves + comfortably in our places, and had heard Mrs. Baggs resume the kindred + occupations of sleeping and snoring, when Alicia whispered to me: + </p> + <p> + “I must have no secrets, now, from you—must I, Frank?” + </p> + <p> + “You must have anything you like, do anything you like, and say anything + you like. You must never ask leave—but only grant it!” + </p> + <p> + “Shall you always tell me that, Frank?” + </p> + <p> + I did not answer in words, but the conversation suffered a momentary + interruption. Of what nature, susceptible people will easily imagine. As + for the hard-hearted I don’t write for them. + </p> + <p> + “My secret need not alarm you,” Alicia went on, in tones that began to + sound rather sadly; “it is only about a tiny pasteboard box that I can + carry in the bosom of my dress. But it has got three diamonds in it, + Frank, and one beautiful ruby. Did you ever give me credit for having so + much that was valuable about me?—shall I give it you to keep for + me?” + </p> + <p> + I remembered directly Old File’s story of Mrs. Dulcifer’s elopement, and + of the jewels she had taken with her. It was easy to guess, after what I + had heard, that the poor woman had secretly preserved some of her little + property for the benefit of her child. + </p> + <p> + “I have no present need of money, darling,” I answered; “keep the box in + its present enviable position.” I stopped there, saying nothing of the + thought that was really uppermost in my mind. If any unforeseen accident + placed me within the grip of the law, I should not now have the double + trial to endure of leaving my wife for a prison, and leaving her helpless. + </p> + <p> + Morning dawned and found us still awake. The sun rose, Mrs. Baggs left off + snoring, and we arrived at the last stage before the coach stopped. + </p> + <p> + I got out to see about some tea for my traveling companions, and looked up + at the outside passengers. One of them seated in the dickey looked down at + me. He was a countryman in a smock-frock, with a green patch over one of + his eyes. Something in the expression of his uncovered eye made me pause—reflect—turn + away uneasily—and then look again at him furtively. A sudden shudder + ran through me from top to toe; my heart sank; and my head began to feel + giddy. The countryman in the dickey was no other than the Bow Street + runner in disguise. + </p> + <p> + I kept away from the coach till the fresh horses were on the point of + starting, for I was afraid to let Alicia see my face, after making that + fatal discovery. She noticed how pale I was when I got in. I made the best + excuse I could; and gently insisted on her trying to sleep a little after + being awake all night. She lay back in her corner; and Mrs. Baggs, + comforted with a morning dram in her tea, fell asleep again. I had thus an + hour’s leisure before me to think what I should do next. + </p> + <p> + Screw was not in company with the runner this time. He must have managed + to identify me somewhere, and the officer doubtless knew my personal + appearance well enough now to follow and make sure of me without help. + That I was the man whom he was tracking could not be doubted: his disguise + and his position on the top of the coach proved it only too plainly. + </p> + <p> + But why had he not seized me at once? Probably because he had some + ulterior purpose to serve, which would have been thwarted by my immediate + apprehension. What that purpose was I did my best to fathom, and, as I + thought, succeeded in the attempt. What I was to do when the coach stopped + was a more difficult point to settle. To give the runner the slip, with + two women to take care of, was simply impossible. To treat him, as I had + treated Screw at the red-brick house, was equally out of the question, for + he was certain to give me no chance of catching him alone. To keep him in + ignorance of the real object of my journey, and thereby to delay his + discovering himself and attempting to make me a prisoner, seemed the only + plan on the safety of which I could place the smallest reliance. If I had + ever had any idea of following the example of other runaway lovers, and + going to Gretna Green, I should now have abandoned it. All roads in that + direction would betray what the purpose of my journey was if I took them. + Some large town in Scotland would be the safest destination that I could + publicly advertise myself as bound for. Why not boldly say that I was + going with the two ladies to Edinburgh? + </p> + <p> + Such was the plan of action which I now adopted. + </p> + <p> + To give any idea of the distracted condition of my mind at the time when I + was forming it, is simply impossible. As for doubting whether I ought to + marry at all under these dangerous circumstances, I must frankly own that + I was too selfishly and violently in love to look the question fairly in + the face at first. When I subsequently forced myself to consider it, the + most distinct project I could frame for overcoming all difficulty was, to + marry myself (the phrase is strictly descriptive of the Scotch ceremony) + at the first inn we came to, over the Border; to hire a chaise, or take + places in a public conveyance to Edinburgh, as a blind; to let Alicia and + Mrs. Baggs occupy those places; to remain behind myself; and to trust to + my audacity and cunning, when left alone, to give the runner the slip. + Writing of it now, in cool blood, this seems as wild and hopeless a plan + as ever was imagined. But, in the confused and distracted state of all my + faculties at that period, it seemed quite easy to execute, and not in the + least doubtful as to any one of its probable results. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the town at which the coach stopped, we found ourselves + obliged to hire another chaise for a short distance, in order to get to + the starting-point of a second coach. Again we took inside places, and + again, at the first stages when I got down to look at the outside + passengers, there was the countryman with the green shade over his eye. + Whatever conveyance we traveled by on our northward road, we never escaped + him. He never attempted to speak to me, never seemed to notice me, and + never lost sight of me. On and on we went, over roads that seemed + interminable, and still the dreadful sword of justice hung always, by its + single hair, over my head. My haggard face, my feverish hands, my confused + manner, my inexpressible impatience, all belied the excuses with which I + desperately continued to ward off Alicia’s growing fears, and Mrs. Baggs’s + indignant suspicions. “Oh! Frank, something has happened! For God’s sake, + tell me what!”—“Mr. Softly, I can see through a deal board as far as + most people. You are following the doctor’s wicked example, and showing a + want of confidence in me.” These were the remonstrances of Alicia and the + housekeeper. + </p> + <p> + At last we got out of England, and I was still a free man. The chaise (we + were posting again) brought us into a dirty town, and drew up at the door + of a shabby inn. A shock-headed girl received us. + </p> + <p> + “Are we in Scotland?” I asked. + </p> + <p> + “Mon! whar’ else should ye be?” The accent relieved me of all doubt. + </p> + <p> + “A private room—something to eat, ready in an hour’s time—chaise + afterward to the nearest place from which a coach runs to Edinburgh.” + Giving these orders rapidly, I followed the girl with my traveling + companions into a stuffy little room. As soon as our attendant had left + us, I locked the door, put the key in my pocket, and took Alicia by the + hand. + </p> + <p> + “Now, Mrs. Baggs,” said I, “bear witness—” + </p> + <p> + “You’re not going to marry her now!” interposed Mrs. Baggs, indignantly. + “Bear witness, indeed! I won’t bear witness till I’ve taken off my bonnet, + and put my hair tidy!” + </p> + <p> + “The ceremony won’t take a minute,” I answered; “and I’ll give you your + five-pound note and open the door the moment it’s over. Bear witness,” I + went on, drowning Mrs. Baggs’s expostulations with the all-important + marriage-words, “that I take this woman, Alicia Dulcifer for my lawful + wedded wife.” + </p> + <p> + “In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth,” broke in Mrs. Baggs, + determining to represent the clergyman as well as to be the witness. + </p> + <p> + “Alicia, dear,” I said, interrupting in my turn, “repeat my words. Say ‘I + take this man, Francis Softly, for my lawful wedded husband.’” + </p> + <p> + She repeated the sentence, with her face very pale, with her dear hand + cold and trembling in mine. + </p> + <p> + “For better for worse,” continued the indomitable Mrs. Baggs. “Little + enough of the Better, I’m afraid, and Lord knows how much of the Worse.” + </p> + <p> + I stopped her again with the promised five-pound note, and opened the room + door. “Now, ma’am,” I said, “go to your room; take off your bonnet, and + put your hair as tidy as you please.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven, exclaimed “Disgraceful!” + and flounced out of the room in a passion. Such was my Scotch marriage—as + lawful a ceremony, remember, as the finest family wedding at the largest + parish church in all England. + </p> + <p> + An hour passed; and I had not yet summoned the cruel courage to + communicate my real situation to Alicia. The entry of the shock-headed + servant-girl to lay the cloth, followed by Mrs. Baggs, who was never out + of the way where eating and drinking appeared in prospect, helped me to + rouse myself. I resolved to go out for a few minutes to reconnoiter, and + make myself acquainted with any facilities for flight or hiding which the + situation of the house might present. No doubt the Bow Street runner was + lurking somewhere; but he must, as a matter of course, have heard, or + informed himself, of the orders I had given relating to our conveyance on + to Edinburgh; and, in that case, I was still no more in danger of his + avowing himself and capturing me, than I had been at any previous period + of our journey. + </p> + <p> + “I am going out for a moment, love, to see about the chaise,” I said to + Alicia. She suddenly looked up at me with an anxious searching expression. + Was my face betraying anything of my real purpose? I hurried to the door + before she could ask me a single question. + </p> + <p> + The front of the inn stood nearly in the middle of the principal street of + the town. No chance of giving any one the slip in that direction; and no + sign, either, of the Bow Street runner. I sauntered round, with the most + unconcerned manner I could assume, to the back of the house, by the inn + yard. A door in one part of it stood half-open. Inside was a bit of + kitchen-garden, bounded by a paling; beyond that some backs of detached + houses; beyond them, again, a plot of weedy ground, a few wretched + cottages, and the open, heathery moor. Good enough for running away, but + terribly bad for hiding. + </p> + <p> + I returned disconsolately to the inn. Walking along the passage toward the + staircase, I suddenly heard footsteps behind me—turned round, and + saw the Bow Street runner (clothed again in his ordinary costume, and + accompanied by two strange men) standing between me and the door. + </p> + <p> + “Sorry to stop you from going to Edinburgh, Mr. Softly,” he said. “But + you’re wanted back at Barkingham. I’ve just found out what you have been + traveling all the way to Scotland for; and I take you prisoner, as one of + the coining gang. Take it easy, sir. I’ve got help, you see; and you can’t + throttle three men, whatever you may have done at Barkingham with one.” + </p> + <p> + He handcuffed me as he spoke. Resistance was hopeless. I could only make + an appeal to his mercy, on Alicia’s account. + </p> + <p> + “Give me ten minutes,” I said, “to break what has happened to my wife. We + were only married an hour ago. If she knows this suddenly, it may be the + death of her.” + </p> + <p> + “You’ve led me a nice dance on a wrong scent,” answered the runner, + sulkily. “But I never was a hard man where women are concerned. Go + upstairs, and leave the door open, so that I can see in through it if I + like. Hold your hat over your wrists, if you don’t want her to see the + handcuffs.” + </p> + <p> + I ascended the first flight of stairs, and my heart gave a sudden bound as + if it would burst. I stopped, speechless and helpless, at the sight of + Alicia, standing alone on the landing. My first look at her face told me + she had heard all that had passed in the passage. She passionately struck + the hat with which I had been trying to hide the handcuffs out of my + fingers, and clasped me in her arms with such sudden and desperate energy + that she absolutely hurt me. + </p> + <p> + “I was afraid of something, Frank,” she whispered. “I followed you a + little way. I stopped here; I have heard everything. Don’t let us be + parted! I am stronger than you think me. I won’t be frightened. I won’t + cry. I won’t trouble anybody, if that man will only take me with you!” + </p> + <p> + It is best for my sake, if not for the reader’s, to hurry over the scene + that followed. + </p> + <p> + It ended with as little additional wretchedness as could be expected. The + runner was resolute about keeping me handcuffed, and taking me back, + without a moment’s unnecessary waste of time to Barkingham; but he + relented on other points. + </p> + <p> + Where he was obliged to order a private conveyance, there was no objection + to Alicia and Mrs. Baggs following it. Where we got into a coach, there + was no harm in their hiring two inside places. I gave my watch, rings, and + last guinea to Alicia, enjoining her, on no account, to let her box of + jewels see the light until we could get proper advice on the best means of + turning them to account. She listened to these and other directions with a + calmness that astonished me. + </p> + <p> + “You shan’t say, my dear, that your wife has helped to make you uneasy by + so much as a word or a look,” she whispered to me as we left the inn. + </p> + <p> + And she kept the hard promise implied in that one short sentence + throughout the journey. Once only did I see her lose her self-possession. + At starting on our way south, Mrs. Baggs—taking the same + incomprehensible personal offense at my misfortune which she had + previously taken at the doctor’s—upbraided me with my want of + confidence in her, and declared that it was the main cause of all my + present trouble. Alicia turned on her as she was uttering the words, with + a look and a warning that silenced her in an instant: + </p> + <p> + “If you say another syllable that isn’t kind to him, you shall find your + way back by yourself!” + </p> + <p> + The words may not seem of much importance to others; but I thought, as I + overheard them, that they justified every sacrifice I had made for my + wife’s sake. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI. + </h2> + <p> + ON our way back I received from the runner some explanation of his + apparently unaccountable proceedings in reference to myself. + </p> + <p> + To begin at the beginning, it turned out that the first act of the + officers, on their release from the workroom in the red-brick house, was + to institute a careful search for papers in the doctor’s study and + bedroom. Among the other documents that he had not had time to destroy, + was a letter to him from Alicia, which they took from one of the pockets + of his dressing-gown. Finding, from the report of the men who had followed + the gig, that he had distanced all pursuit, and having therefore no direct + clew to his whereabout, they had been obliged to hunt after him in various + directions, on pure speculation. Alicia’s letter to her father gave the + address of the house at Crickgelly; and to this the runner repaired, on + the chance of intercepting or discovering any communications which the + doctor might make to his daughter, Screw being taken with the officer to + identify the young lady. After leaving the last coach, they posted to + within a mile of Crickgelly, and then walked into the village, in order to + excite no special attention, should the doctor be lurking in the + neighborhood. The runner had tried ineffectually to gain admission as a + visitor at Zion Place. After having the door shut on him, he and Screw had + watched the house and village, and had seen me approach Number Two. Their + suspicions were directly excited. + </p> + <p> + Thus far, Screw had not recognized, nor even observed me; but he + immediately identified me by my voice, while I was parleying with the + stupid servant at the door. The runner, hearing who I was, reasonably + enough concluded that I must be the recognized medium of communication + between the doctor and his daughter, especially when he found that I was + admitted, instantly after calling, past the servant, to some one inside + the house. + </p> + <p> + Leaving Screw on the watch, he went to the inn, discovered himself + privately to the landlord, and made sure (in more ways than one, as I + conjectured) of knowing when, and in what direction, I should leave + Crickgelly. On finding that I was to leave it the next morning, with + Alicia and Mrs. Baggs, he immediately suspected that I was charged with + the duty of taking the daughter to, or near, the place chosen for the + father’s retreat; and had therefore abstained from interfering prematurely + with my movements. Knowing whither we were bound in the cart, he had + ridden after us, well out of sight, with his countryman’s disguise ready + for use in the saddle-bags—Screw, in case of any mistakes or + mystifications, being left behind on the watch at Crickgelly. + </p> + <p> + The possibility that I might be running away with Alicia had suggested + itself to him; but he dismissed it as improbable, first when he saw that + Mrs. Baggs accompanied us, and again, when, on nearing Scotland, he found + that we did not take the road to Gretna Green. He acknowledged, in + conclusion, that he should have followed us to Edinburgh, or even to the + Continent itself, on the chance of our leading him to the doctor’s + retreat, but for the servant girl at the inn, who had listened outside the + door while our brief marriage ceremony was proceeding, and from whom, with + great trouble and delay, he had extracted all the information he required. + A further loss of half an hour’s time had occurred while he was getting + the necessary help to assist him, in the event of my resisting, or trying + to give him the slip, in making me a prisoner. These small facts accounted + for the hour’s respite we had enjoyed at the inn, and terminated the + runner’s narrative of his own proceedings. + </p> + <p> + On arriving at our destination I was, of course, immediately taken to the + jail. + </p> + <p> + Alicia, by my advice, engaged a modest lodging in a suburb of Barkingham. + In the days of the red-brick house, she had seldom been seen in the town, + and she was not at all known by sight in the suburb. We arranged that she + was to visit me as often as the authorities would let her. She had no + companion, and wanted none. Mrs. Baggs, who had never forgiven the rebuke + administered to her at the starting-point of our journey, left us at the + close of it. Her leave-taking was dignified and pathetic. She kindly + informed Alicia that she wished her well, though she could not + conscientiously look upon her as a lawful married woman; and she begged me + (in case I got off), the next time I met with a respectable person who was + kind to me, to profit by remembering my past errors, and to treat my next + benefactress with more confidence than I had treated her. + </p> + <p> + My first business in the prison was to write to Mr. Batterbury. + </p> + <p> + I had a magnificent ease to present to him, this time. Although I believed + myself, and had succeeded in persuading Alicia, that I was sure of being + recommended to mercy, it was not the less the fact that I was charged with + an offense still punishable by death, in the then barbarous state of the + law. I delicately stated just enough of my case to make one thing clear to + the mind of Mr. Batterbury. My affectionate sister’s interest in the + contingent reversion was now ( unless Lady Malkinshaw perversely and + suddenly expired) actually threatened by the Gallows! + </p> + <p> + While calmly awaiting the answer, I was by no means without subjects to + occupy my attention when Alicia was not at the prison. There was my + fellow-workman—Mill—(the first member of our society betrayed + by Screw) to compare notes with; and there was a certain prisoner who had + been transported, and who had some very important and interesting + particulars to communicate, relative to life and its chances in our + felon-settlements at the Antipodes. I talked a great deal with this man; + for I felt that his experience might be of the greatest possible benefit + to me. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Batterbury’s answer was speedy, short, and punctual. I had shattered + his nervous system forever, he wrote, but had only stimulated his devotion + to my family, and his Christian readiness to look pityingly on my + transgressions. He had engaged the leader of the circuit to defend me; and + he would have come to see me, but for Mrs. Batterbury; who had implored + him not to expose himself to agitation. Of Lady Malkinshaw the letter said + nothing; but I afterward discovered that she was then at Cheltenham, + drinking the waters and playing whist in the rudest health and spirits. + </p> + <p> + It is a bold thing to say, but nothing will ever persuade me that Society + has not a sneaking kindness for a Rogue. + </p> + <p> + For example, my father never had half the attention shown to him in his + own house, which was shown to me in my prison. I have seen High Sheriffs + in the great world, whom my father went to see, give him two fingers—the + High Sheriff of Barkinghamshire came to see me, and shook hands cordially. + Nobody ever wanted my father’s autograph—dozens of people asked for + mine. Nobody ever put my father’s portrait in the frontispiece of a + magazine, or described his personal appearance and manners with anxious + elaboration, in the large type of a great newspaper—I enjoyed both + those honors. Three official individuals politely begged me to be sure and + make complaints if my position was not perfectly comfortable. No official + individual ever troubled his head whether my father was comfortable or + not. When the day of my trial came, the court was thronged by my lovely + countrywomen, who stood up panting in the crowd and crushing their + beautiful dresses, rather than miss the pleasure of seeing the dear Rogue + in the dock. When my father once stood on the lecturer’s rostrum, and + delivered his excellent discourse, called “Medical Hints to Maids and + Mothers on Tight Lacing and Teething,” the benches were left empty by the + ungrateful women of England, who were not in the slightest degree anxious + to feast their eyes on the sight of a learned adviser and respectable man. + If these facts led to one inevitable conclusion, it is not my fault. We + Rogues are the spoiled children of Society. We may not be openly + acknowledged as Pets, but we all know, by pleasant experience, that we are + treated like them. + </p> + <p> + The trial was deeply affecting. My defense—or rather my barrister’s—was + the simple truth. It was impossible to overthrow the facts against us; so + we honestly owned that I got into the scrape through love for Alicia. My + counsel turned this to the best possible sentimental account. He cried; + the ladies cried; the jury cried; the judge cried; and Mr. Batterbury, who + had desperately come to see the trial, and know the worst, sobbed with + such prominent vehemence, that I believe him, to this day, to have greatly + influenced the verdict. I was strongly recommended to mercy and got off + with fourteen years’ transportation. The unfortunate Mill, who was tried + after me, with a mere dry-eyed barrister to defend him, was hanged. + </p> + <p> + POSTSCRIPT. + </p> + <p> + WITH the record of my sentence of transportation, my life as a Rogue ends, + and my existence as a respectable man begins. I am sorry to say anything + which may disturb popular delusions on the subject of poetical justice, + but this is strictly the truth. + </p> + <p> + My first anxiety was about my wife’s future. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Batterbury gave me no chance of asking his advice after the trial. The + moment sentence had been pronounced, he allowed himself to be helped out + of court in a melancholy state of prostration, and the next morning he + left for London. I suspect he was afraid to face me, and nervously + impatient, besides, to tell Annabella that he had saved the legacy again + by another alarming sacrifice. My father and mother, to whom I had written + on the subject of Alicia, were no more to be depended on than Mr. + Batterbury. My father, in answering my letter, told me that he + conscientiously believed he had done enough in forgiving me for throwing + away an excellent education, and disgracing a respectable name. He added + that he had not allowed my letter for my mother to reach her, out of + pitying regard for her broken health and spirits; and he ended by telling + me (what was perhaps very true) that the wife of such a son as I had been, + had no claim upon her father-in-law’s protection and help. There was an + end, then, of any hope of finding resources for Alicia among the members + of my own family. + </p> + <p> + The next thing was to discover a means of providing for her without + assistance. I had formed a project for this, after meditating over my + conversations with the returned transport in Barkingham jail, and I had + taken a reliable opinion on the chances of successfully executing my + design from the solicitor who had prepared my defense. + </p> + <p> + Alicia herself was so earnestly in favor of assisting in my experiment, + that she declared she would prefer death to its abandonment. Accordingly, + the necessary preliminaries were arranged; and, when we parted, it was + some mitigation of our grief to know that there was a time appointed for + meeting again. Alicia was to lodge with a distant relative of her mother’s + in a suburb of London; was to concert measures with this relative on the + best method of turning her jewels into money; and was to follow her + convict husband to the Antipodes, under a feigned name, in six months’ + time. + </p> + <p> + If my family had not abandoned me, I need not have thus left her to help + herself. As it was, I had no choice. One consolation supported me at + parting—she was in no danger of persecution from her father. A + second letter from him had arrived at Crickgelly, and had been forwarded + to the address I had left for it. It was dated Hamburg, and briefly told + her to remain at Crickgelly, and expect fresh instructions, explanations, + and a supply of money, as soon as he had settled the important business + matters which had taken him abroad. His daughter answered the letter, + telling him of her marriage, and giving him an address at a post-office to + write to, if he chose to reply to her communication. There the matter + rested. + </p> + <p> + What was I to do on my side? Nothing but establish a reputation for mild + behavior. I began to manufacture a character for myself for the first days + of our voyage out in the convict-ship; and I landed at the penal + settlement with the reputation of being the meekest and most biddable of + felonious mankind. + </p> + <p> + After a short probationary experience of such low convict employments as + lime-burning and road-mending, I was advanced to occupations more in + harmony with my education. Whatever I did, I never neglected the first + great obligation of making myself agreeable and amusing to everybody. My + social reputation as a good fellow began to stand as high at one end of + the world as ever it stood at the other. The months passed more quickly + than I had dared to hope. The expiration of my first year of + transportation was approaching, and already pleasant hints of my being + soon assigned to private service began to reach my ears. This was the + first of the many ends I was now working for; and the next pleasant + realization of my hopes that I had to expect, was the arrival of Alicia. + </p> + <p> + She came, a month later than I had anticipated; safe and blooming, with + five hundred pounds as the produce of her jewels, and with the old + Crickgelly alias (changed from Miss to Mrs. Giles), to prevent any + suspicions of the connection between us. + </p> + <p> + Her story (concocted by me before I left England) was, that she was a + widow lady, who had come to settle in Australia, and make the most of her + little property in the New World. One of the first things Mrs. Giles + wanted was necessarily a trustworthy servant, and she had to make her + choice of one among the convicts of good character, to be assigned to + private service. Being one of that honorable body myself at the time, it + is needless to say that I was the fortunate man on whom Mrs. Giles’s + choice fell. The first situation I got in Australia was as servant to my + own wife. + </p> + <p> + Alicia made a very indulgent mistress. + </p> + <p> + If she had been mischievously inclined, she might, by application to a + magistrate, have had me flogged or set to work in chains on the roads, + whenever I became idle or insubordinate, which happened occasionally. But + instead of complaining, the kind creature kissed and made much of her + footman by stealth, after his day’s work. She allowed him no female + followers, and only employed one woman-servant occasionally, who was both + old and ugly. The name of the footman was Dear in private, and Francis in + company; and when the widowed mistress, upstairs, refused eligible offers + of marriage (which was pretty often), the favored domestic in the kitchen + was always informed of it, and asked, with the sweetest humility, if he + approved of the proceeding. + </p> + <p> + Not to dwell on this anomalous period of my existence, let me say briefly + that my new position with my wife was of the greatest advantage in + enabling me to direct in secret the profitable uses to which her little + fortune was put. + </p> + <p> + We began in this way with an excellent speculation in cattle—buying + them for shillings and selling them for pounds. With the profits thus + obtained, we next tried our hands at houses—first buying in a small + way, then boldly building, and letting again and selling to great + advantage. While these speculations were in progress, my behavior in my + wife’s service was so exemplary, and she gave me so excellent a character + when the usual official inquiries were instituted, that I soon got the + next privilege accorded to persons in my situation—a + ticket-of-leave. By the time this had been again exchanged for a + conditional pardon (which allowed me to go about where I pleased in + Australia, and to trade in my own name like any unconvicted merchant) our + house-property had increased enormously, our land had been sold for public + buildings, and we had shares in the famous Emancipist’s Bank, which + produced quite a little income of themselves. + </p> + <p> + There was now no need to keep the mask on any longer. + </p> + <p> + I went through the superfluous ceremony of a second marriage with Alicia; + took stores in the city; built a villa in the country; and here I am at + this present moment of writing, a convict aristocrat—a prosperous, + wealthy, highly respectable mercantile man, with two years of my sentence + of transportation still to expire. I have a barouche and two bay horses, a + coachman and page in neat liveries, three charming children, and a French + governess, a boudoir and lady’s-maid for my wife. She is as handsome as + ever, but getting a little fat. So am I, as a worthy friend remarked when + I recently appeared holding the plate, at our last charity sermon. + </p> + <p> + What would my surviving relatives and associates in England say, if they + could see me now? I have heard of them at different times and through + various channels. Lady Malkinshaw, after living to the verge of a hundred, + and surviving all sorts of accidents, died quietly one afternoon, in her + chair, with an empty dish before her, and without giving the slightest + notice to anybody. Mr. Batterbury, having sacrificed so much to his wife’s + reversion, profited nothing by its falling in at last. His quarrels with + my amiable sister—which took their rise from his interested + charities toward me—ended in producing a separation. And, far from + saving anything by Annabella’s inheritance of her pin-money, he had a + positive loss to put up with, in the shape of some hundreds extracted + yearly from his income, as alimony to his uncongenial wife. He is said to + make use of shocking language whenever my name is mentioned, and to wish + that he had been carried off by the yellow fever before he ever set eyes + on the Softly family. + </p> + <p> + My father has retired from practice. He and my mother have gone to live in + the country, near the mansion of the only marquis with whom my father was + actually and personally acquainted in his professional days. The marquis + asks him to dinner once a year, and leaves a card for my mother before he + returns to town for the season. A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw hangs in the + dining-room. In this way, my parents are ending their days contentedly. I + can honestly say that I am glad to hear it. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Dulcifer, when I last heard of him, was editing a newspaper in + America. Old File, who shared his flight, still shares his fortunes, being + publisher of his newspaper. Young File resumed coining operations in + London; and, having braved his fate a second time, threaded his way, in + due course, up to the steps of the scaffold. Screw carries on the + profitable trade of informer, in London. The dismal disappearance of Mill + I have already recorded. + </p> + <p> + So much on the subject of my relatives and associates. On the subject of + myself, I might still write on at considerable length. But while the + libelous title of “A ROGUE’S LIFE” stares me in the face at the top of the + page, how can I, as a rich and reputable man, be expected to communicate + any further autobiographical particulars, in this place, to a discerning + public of readers? No, no, my friends! I am no longer interesting—I + am only respectable like yourselves. It is time to say “Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Rogue’s Life, by Wilkie Collins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE’S LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 1588-h.htm or 1588-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/8/1588/ + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Rogue's Life + +Author: Wilkie Collins + +Release Date: February 21, 2006 [EBook #1588] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE'S LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE + +by Wilkie Collins + + + + +INTRODUCTORY WORDS. + +The following pages were written more than twenty years since, and were +then published periodically in _Household Words._ + +In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably +received. Year after year, I delayed the republication, proposing, +at the suggestion of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, to enlarge +the present sketch of the hero's adventures in Australia. But the +opportunity of carrying out this project has proved to be one of the +lost opportunities of my life. I republish the story with its +original conclusion unaltered, but with such occasional additions and +improvements as will, I hope, render it more worthy of attention at the +present time. + +The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost boisterous +gayety in certain parts of these imaginary Confessions. I can only +plead, in defense, that the story offers the faithful reflection of a +very happy time in my past life. It was written at Paris, when I had +Charles Dickens for a near neighbor and a daily companion, and when +my leisure hours were joyously passed with many other friends, all +associated with literature and art, of whom the admirable comedian, +Regnier, is now the only survivor. The revising of these pages has been +to me a melancholy task. I can only hope that they may cheer the sad +moments of others. The Rogue may surely claim two merits, at least, +in the eyes of the new generation--he is never serious for two moments +together; and he "doesn't take long to read." W. C. + +GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, _March_ 6th, 1879. + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +I AM going to try if I can't write something about myself. My life +has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly useful or +respectable; but it has been, in some respects, adventurous; and that +may give it claims to be read, even in the most prejudiced circles. I +am an example of some of the workings of the social system of this +illustrious country on the individual native, during the early part of +the present century; and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I +should like to quote myself for the edification of my countrymen. + +Who am I. + +I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this world +with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a grandmother, +her ladyship's daughter for a mother, and Francis James Softly, Esq., M. +D. (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a father. I put my father last, +because he was not so well connected as my mother, and my grandmother +first, because she was the most nobly-born person of the three. I have +been, am still, and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not +abandoned enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this +account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my feelings +as to expect me to say much about my mother's brother. That inhuman +person committed an outrage on his family by making a fortune in the +soap and candle trade. I apologize for mentioning him, even in an +accidental way. The fact is, he left my sister, Annabella, a legacy of +rather a peculiar kind, saddled with certain conditions which indirectly +affected me; but this passage of family history need not be produced +just yet. I apologize a second time for alluding to money matters before +it was absolutely necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and reputable +subject, by saying a word or two more about my father. + +I am rather afraid that Doctor Softly was not a clever medical man; for +in spite of his great connections, he did not get a very magnificent +practice as a physician. + +As a general practitioner, he might have bought a comfortable business, +with a house and snug surgery-shop attached; but the son-in-law of Lady +Malkinshaw was obliged to hold up his head, and set up his carriage, and +live in a street near a fashionable square, and keep an expensive +and clumsy footman to answer the door, instead of a cheap and tidy +housemaid. How he managed to "maintain his position" (that is the right +phrase, I think), I never could tell. His wife did not bring him a +farthing. When the honorable and gallant baronet, her father, died, he +left the widowed Lady Malkinshaw with her worldly affairs in a curiously +involved state. Her son (of whom I feel truly ashamed to be obliged to +speak again so soon) made an effort to extricate his mother--involved +himself in a series of pecuniary disasters, which commercial people +call, I believe, transactions--struggled for a little while to get out +of them in the character of an independent gentleman--failed--and then +spiritlessly availed himself of the oleaginous refuge of the soap and +candle trade. His mother always looked down upon him after this; but +borrowed money of him also--in order to show, I suppose, that her +maternal interest in her son was not quite extinct. My father tried +to follow her example--in his wife's interests, of course; but the +soap-boiler brutally buttoned up his pockets, and told my father to go +into business for himself. Thus it happened that we were certainly a +poor family, in spite of the fine appearance we made, the fashionable +street we lived in, the neat brougham we kept, and the clumsy and +expensive footman who answered our door. + +What was to be done with me in the way of education? + +If my father had consulted his means, I should have been sent to a +cheap commercial academy; but he had to consult his relationship to Lady +Malkinshaw; so I was sent to one of the most fashionable and famous of +the great public schools. I will not mention it by name, because I don't +think the masters would be proud of my connection with it. I ran away +three times, and was flogged three times. I made four aristocratic +connections, and had four pitched battles with them: three thrashed me, +and one I thrashed. I learned to play at cricket, to hate rich people, +to cure warts, to write Latin verses, to swim, to recite speeches, to +cook kidneys on toast, to draw caricatures of the masters, to construe +Greek plays, to black boots, and to receive kicks and serious advice +resignedly. Who will say that the fashionable public school was of no +use to me after that? + +After I left school, I had the narrowest escape possible of intruding +myself into another place of accommodation for distinguished people; in +other words, I was very nearly being sent to college. Fortunately for +me, my father lost a lawsuit just in the nick of time, and was obliged +to scrape together every farthing of available money that he possessed +to pay for the luxury of going to law. If he could have saved his seven +shillings, he would certainly have sent me to scramble for a place in +the pit of the great university theater; but his purse was empty, and +his son was not eligible therefore for admission, in a gentlemanly +capacity, at the doors. + +The next thing was to choose a profession. + +Here the Doctor was liberality itself, in leaving me to my own devices. +I was of a roving adventurous temperament, and I should have liked to +go into the army. But where was the money to come from, to pay for my +commission? As to enlisting in the ranks, and working my way up, +the social institutions of my country obliged the grandson of Lady +Malkinshaw to begin military life as an officer and gentleman, or not +to begin it at all. The army, therefore, was out of the question. The +Church? Equally out of the question: since I could not pay for admission +to the prepared place of accommodation for distinguished people, and +could not accept a charitable free pass, in consequence of my high +connections. The Bar? I should be five years getting to it, and should +have to spend two hundred a year in going circuit before I had earned a +farthing. Physic? This really seemed the only gentlemanly refuge left; +and yet, with the knowledge of my father's experience before me, I was +ungrateful enough to feel a secret dislike for it. It is a degrading +confession to make; but I remember wishing I was not so highly +connected, and absolutely thinking that the life of a commercial +traveler would have suited me exactly, if I had not been a poor +gentleman. Driving about from place to place, living jovially at inns, +seeing fresh faces constantly, and getting money by all this enjoyment, +instead of spending it--what a life for me, if I had been the son of a +haberdasher and the grandson of a groom's widow! + +While my father was uncertain what to do with me, a new profession was +suggested by a friend, which I shall repent not having been allowed +to adopt, to the last day of my life. This friend was an eccentric old +gentleman of large property, much respected in our family. One day, +my father, in my presence, asked his advice about the best manner of +starting me in life, with due credit to my connections and sufficient +advantage to myself. + +"Listen to my experience," said our eccentric friend, "and, if you are +a wise man, you will make up your mind as soon as you have heard me. I +have three sons. I brought my eldest son up to the Church; he is said to +be getting on admirably, and he costs me three hundred a year. I brought +my second son up to the Bar; he is said to be getting on admirably, +and he costs me four hundred a year. I brought my third son up to +_Quadrilles_--he has married an heiress, and he costs me nothing." + +Ah, me! if that worthy sage's advice had only been followed--if I had +been brought up to Quadrilles!--if I had only been cast loose on the +ballrooms of London, to qualify under Hymen, for a golden degree! Oh! +you young ladies with money, I was five feet ten in my stockings; I was +great at small-talk and dancing; I had glossy whiskers, curling locks, +and a rich voice! Ye girls with golden guineas, ye nymphs with crisp +bank-notes, mourn over the husband you have lost among you--over the +Rogue who has broken the laws which, as the partner of a landed or +fund-holding woman, he might have helped to make on the benches of +the British Parliament! Oh! ye hearths and homes sung about in so +many songs--written about in so many books--shouted about in so many +speeches, with accompaniment of so much loud cheering: what a settler +on the hearth-rug; what a possessor of property; what a bringer-up of a +family, was snatched away from you, when the son of Dr. Softly was lost +to the profession of Quadrilles! + +It ended in my resigning myself to the misfortune of being a doctor. + +If I was a very good boy and took pains, and carefully mixed in the best +society, I might hope in the course of years to succeed to my father's +brougham, fashionably-situated house, and clumsy and expensive footman. +There was a prospect for a lad of spirit, with the blood of the early +Malkinshaws (who were Rogues of great capacity and distinction in the +feudal times) coursing adventurous through every vein! I look back on my +career, and when I remember the patience with which I accepted a medical +destiny, I appear to myself in the light of a hero. Nay, I even went +beyond the passive virtue of accepting my destiny--I actually studied, I +made the acquaintance of the skeleton, I was on friendly terms with the +muscular system, and the mysteries of Physiology dropped in on me in the +kindest manner whenever they had an evening to spare. + +Even this was not the worst of it. I disliked the abstruse studies of my +new profession; but I absolutely hated the diurnal slavery of qualifying +myself, in a social point of view, for future success in it. My fond +medical parent insisted on introducing me to his whole connection. I +went round visiting in the neat brougham--with a stethoscope and medical +review in the front-pocket, with Doctor Softly by my side, keeping +his face well in view at the window--to canvass for patients, in the +character of my father's hopeful successor. Never have I been so ill at +ease in prison, as I was in that carriage. I have felt more at home +in the dock (such is the natural depravity and perversity of my +disposition) than ever I felt in the drawing-rooms of my father's +distinguished patrons and respectable friends. Nor did my miseries end +with the morning calls. I was commanded to attend all dinner-parties, +and to make myself agreeable at all balls. The dinners were the worst +trial. Sometimes, indeed, we contrived to get ourselves asked to the +houses of high and mighty entertainers, where we ate the finest French +dishes and drank the oldest vintages, and fortified ourselves sensibly +and snugly in that way against the frigidity of the company. Of these +repasts I have no hard words to say; it is of the dinners we gave +ourselves, and of the dinners which people in our rank of life gave to +us, that I now bitterly complain. + +Have you ever observed the remarkable adherence to set forms of speech +which characterizes the talkers of arrant nonsense! Precisely the same +sheepish following of one given example distinguishes the ordering of +genteel dinners. + +When we gave a dinner at home, we had gravy soup, turbot and +lobster-sauce, haunch of mutton, boiled fowls and tongue, lukewarm +oyster-patties and sticky curry for side-dishes; wild duck, +cabinet-pudding, jelly, cream and tartlets. All excellent things, except +when you have to eat them continually. We lived upon them entirely in +the season. Every one of our hospitable friends gave us a return dinner, +which was a perfect copy of ours--just as ours was a perfect copy of +theirs, last year. They boiled what we boiled, and we roasted what they +roasted. We none of us ever changed the succession of the courses--or +made more or less of them--or altered the position of the fowls opposite +the mistress and the haunch opposite the master. My stomach used to +quail within me, in those times, when the tureen was taken off and +the inevitable gravy-soup smell renewed its daily acquaintance with my +nostrils, and warned me of the persistent eatable formalities that were +certain to follow. I suppose that honest people, who have known what it +is to get no dinner (being a Rogue, I have myself never wanted for one), +have gone through some very acute suffering under that privation. It may +be some consolation to them to know that, next to absolute starvation, +the same company-dinner, every day, is one of the hardest trials that +assail human endurance. I date my first serious determination to throw +over the medical profession at the earliest convenient opportunity, +from the second season's series of dinners at which my aspirations, as a +rising physician, unavoidably and regularly condemned me to be present. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE opportunity I wanted presented itself in a curious way, and led, +unexpectedly enough, to some rather important consequences. + +I have already stated, among the other branches of human attainment +which I acquired at the public school, that I learned to draw +caricatures of the masters who were so obliging as to educate me. I +had a natural faculty for this useful department of art. I improved it +greatly by practice in secret after I left school, and I ended by making +it a source of profit and pocket money to me when I entered the medical +profession. What was I to do? I could not expect for years to make a +halfpenny, as a physician. My genteel walk in life led me away from all +immediate sources of emolument, and my father could only afford to give +me an allowance which was too preposterously small to be mentioned. I +had helped myself surreptitiously to pocket-money at school, by selling +my caricatures, and I was obliged to repeat the process at home! + +At the time of which I write, the Art of Caricature was just approaching +the close of its colored and most extravagant stage of development. The +subtlety and truth to Nature required for the pursuit of it now, had +hardly begun to be thought of then. Sheer farce and coarse burlesque, +with plenty of color for the money, still made up the sum of what the +public of those days wanted. I was first assured of my capacity for the +production of these requisites, by a medical friend of the ripe critical +age of nineteen. He knew a print-publisher, and enthusiastically showed +him a portfolio full of my sketches, taking care at my request not to +mention my name. Rather to my surprise (for I was too conceited to be +greatly amazed by the circumstance), the publisher picked out a few of +the best of my wares, and boldly bought them of me--of course, at his +own price. From that time I became, in an anonymous way, one of the +young buccaneers of British Caricature; cruising about here, there and +everywhere, at all my intervals of spare time, for any prize in the +shape of a subject which it was possible to pick up. Little did my +highly-connected mother think that, among the colored prints in the +shop-window, which disrespectfully illustrated the public and private +proceedings of distinguished individuals, certain specimens bearing +the classic signature of "Thersites Junior," were produced from designs +furnished by her studious and medical son. Little did my respectable +father imagine when, with great difficulty and vexation, he succeeded in +getting me now and then smuggled, along with himself, inside the pale +of fashionable society--that he was helping me to study likenesses which +were destined under my reckless treatment to make the public laugh at +some of his most august patrons, and to fill the pockets of his son with +professional fees, never once dreamed of in his philosophy. + +For more than a year I managed, unsuspected, to keep the Privy Purse +fairly supplied by the exercise of my caricaturing abilities. But the +day of detection was to come. + +Whether my medical friend's admiration of my satirical sketches led him +into talking about them in public with too little reserve; or whether +the servants at home found private means of watching me in my moments +of Art-study, I know not: but that some one betrayed me, and that +the discovery of my illicit manufacture of caricatures was actually +communicated even to the grandmotherly head and fount of the family +honor, is a most certain and lamentable matter of fact. One morning my +father received a letter from Lady Malkinshaw herself, informing him, +in a handwriting crooked with poignant grief, and blotted at every third +word by the violence of virtuous indignation, that "Thersites Junior" +was his own son, and that, in one of the last of the "ribald's" +caricatures her own venerable features were unmistakably represented as +belonging to the body of a large owl! + +Of course, I laid my hand on my heart and indignantly denied everything. +Useless. My original model for the owl had got proofs of my guilt that +were not to be resisted. + +The doctor, ordinarily the most mellifluous and self-possessed of +men, flew into a violent, roaring, cursing passion, on this +occasion--declared that I was imperiling the honor and standing of the +family--insisted on my never drawing another caricature, either for +public or private purposes, as long as I lived; and ordered me to go +forthwith and ask pardon of Lady Malkinshaw in the humblest terms that +it was possible to select. I answered dutifully that I was quite ready +to obey, on the condition that he should reimburse me by a trebled +allowance for what I should lose by giving up the Art of Caricature, +or that Lady Malkinshaw should confer on me the appointment of +physician-in-waiting on her, with a handsome salary attached. These +extremely moderate stipulations so increased my father's anger, that he +asserted, with an unmentionably vulgar oath, his resolution to turn me +out of doors if I did not do as he bid me, without daring to hint at +any conditions whatsoever. I bowed, and said that I would save him the +exertion of turning me out of doors, by going of my own accord. He shook +his fist at me; after which it obviously became my duty, as a member +of a gentlemanly and peaceful profession, to leave the room. The same +evening I left the house, and I have never once given the clumsy and +expensive footman the trouble of answering the door to me since that +time. + +I have reason to believe that my exodus from home was, on the whole, +favorably viewed by my mother, as tending to remove any possibility of +my bad character and conduct interfering with my sister's advancement in +life. + +By dint of angling with great dexterity and patience, under the +direction of both her parents, my handsome sister Annabella had +succeeded in catching an eligible husband, in the shape of a wizen, +miserly, mahogany-colored man, turned fifty, who had made a fortune in +the West Indies. His name was Batterbury; he had been dried up under +a tropical sun, so as to look as if he would keep for ages; he had two +subjects of conversation, the yellow-fever and the advantage of walking +exercise: and he was barbarian enough to take a violent dislike to me. +He had proved a very delicate fish to hook; and, even when Annabella +had caught him, my father and mother had great difficulty in landing +him--principally, they were good enough to say, in consequence of my +presence on the scene. Hence the decided advantage of my removal from +home. It is a very pleasant reflection to me, now, to remember how +disinterestedly I studied the good of my family in those early days. + +Abandoned entirely to my own resources, I naturally returned to the +business of caricaturing with renewed ardor. + +About this time Thersites Junior really began to make something like a +reputation, and to walk abroad habitually with a bank-note comfortably +lodged among the other papers in his pocketbook. For a year I lived a +gay and glorious life in some of the freest society in London; at the +end of that time, my tradesmen, without any provocation on my part, sent +in their bills. I found myself in the very absurd position of having no +money to pay them, and told them all so with the frankness which is one +of the best sides of my character. They received my advances toward +a better understanding with brutal incivility, and treated me soon +afterward with a want of confidence which I may forgive, but can never +forget. One day, a dirty stranger touched me on the shoulder, and showed +me a dirty slip of paper which I at first presumed to be his card. +Before I could tell him what a vulgar document it looked like, two more +dirty strangers put me into a hackney coach. Before I could prove to +them that this proceeding was a gross infringement on the liberties of +the British subject, I found myself lodged within the walls of a prison. + +Well! and what of that? Who am I that I should object to being in +prison, when so many of the royal personages and illustrious characters +of history have been there before me? Can I not carry on my vocation +in greater comfort here than I could in my father's house? Have I any +anxieties outside these walls? No: for my beloved sister is married--the +family net has landed Mr. Batterbury at last. No: for I read in the +paper the other day, that Doctor Softly (doubtless through +the interest of Lady Malkinshaw) has been appointed the +King's-Barber-Surgeon's-Deputy-Consulting Physician. My relatives are +comfortable in their sphere--let me proceed forthwith to make myself +comfortable in mine. Pen, ink, and paper, if you please, Mr. Jailer: I +wish to write to my esteemed publisher. + + + +"DEAR SIR--Please advertise a series of twelve Racy Prints, from my +fertile pencil, entitled, 'Scenes of Modern Prison Life,' by Thersites +Junior. The two first designs will be ready by the end of the week, to +be paid for on delivery, according to the terms settled between us for +my previous publications of the same size. + +"With great regard and esteem, faithfully yours, + +"FRANK SOFTLY." + + + +Having thus provided for my support in prison, I was enabled to +introduce myself to my fellow-debtors, and to study character for the +new series of prints, on the very first day of my incarceration, with my +mind quite at ease. + +If the reader desires to make acquaintance with the associates of +my captivity, I must refer him to "Scenes of Modern Prison Life," by +Thersites Junior, now doubtless extremely scarce, but producible to the +demands of patience and perseverance, I should imagine, if anybody will +be so obliging as to pass a week or so over the catalogue of the British +Museum. My fertile pencil has delineated the characters I met with, +at that period of my life, with a force and distinctness which my pen +cannot hope to rival--has portrayed them all more or less prominently, +with the one solitary exception of a prisoner called Gentleman Jones. +The reasons why I excluded him from my portrait-gallery are so honorable +to both of us, that I must ask permission briefly to record them. + +My fellow-captives soon discovered that I was studying their personal +peculiarities for my own advantage and for the public amusement. Some +thought the thing a good joke; some objected to it, and quarreled with +me. Liberality in the matter of liquor and small loans, reconciled a +large proportion of the objectors to their fate; the sulky minority I +treated with contempt, and scourged avengingly with the smart lash of +caricature. I was at that time probably the most impudent man of my age +in all England, and the common flock of jail-birds quailed before the +magnificence of my assurance. One prisoner only set me and my pencil +successfully at defiance. That prisoner was Gentleman Jones. + +He had received his name from the suavity of his countenance, the +inveterate politeness of his language, and the unassailable composure of +his manner. He was in the prime of life, but very bald--had been in the +army and the coal trade--wore very stiff collars and prodigiously long +wristbands--seldom laughed, but talked with remarkable glibness, and was +never known to lose his temper under the most aggravating circumstances +of prison existence. + +He abstained from interfering with me and my studies, until it was +reported in our society, that in the sixth print of my series, Gentleman +Jones, highly caricatured, was to form one of the principal figures. He +then appealed to me personally and publicly, on the racket-ground, in +the following terms: + +"Sir," said he, with his usual politeness and his unwavering smile, "you +will greatly oblige me by not caricaturing my personal peculiarities. I +am so unfortunate as not to possess a sense of humor; and if you did my +likeness, I am afraid I should not see the joke of it." + +"Sir," I returned, with my customary impudence, "it is not of the +slightest importance whether _you_ see the joke of it or not. The public +will--and that is enough for me." + +With that civil speech, I turned on my heel; and the prisoners near +all burst out laughing. Gentleman Jones, not in the least altered or +ruffled, smoothed down his wristbands, smiled, and walked away. + +The same evening I was in my room alone, designing the new print, when +there came a knock at the door, and Gentleman Jones walked in. I got up, +and asked what the devil he wanted. He smiled, and turned up his long +wristbands. + +"Only to give you a lesson in politeness," said Gentleman Jones. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--?" + +The answer was a smart slap on the face. I instantly struck out in a +state of fury--was stopped with great neatness--and received in return a +blow on the head, which sent me down on the carpet half stunned, and too +giddy to know the difference between the floor and the ceiling. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, smoothing down his wristbands again, and +addressing me blandly as I lay on the floor, "I have the honor to inform +you that you have now received your first lesson in politeness. Always +be civil to those who are civil to you. The little matter of +the caricature we will settle on a future occasion. I wish you +good-evening." + +The noise of my fall had been heard by the other occupants of rooms on +my landing. Most fortunately for my dignity, they did not come in to see +what was the matter until I had been able to get into my chair again. +When they entered, I felt that the impression of the slap was red on my +face still, but the mark of the blow was hidden by my hair. Under these +fortunate circumstances, I was able to keep up my character among my +friends, when they inquired about the scuffle, by informing them that +Gentleman Jones had audaciously slapped my face, and that I had been +obliged to retaliate by knocking him down. My word in the prison was as +good as his; and if my version of the story got fairly the start of his, +I had the better chance of the two of being believed. + +I was rather anxious, the next day, to know what course my polite and +pugilistic instructor would take. To my utter amazement, he bowed to me +as civilly as usual when we met in the yard; he never denied my version +of the story; and when my friends laughed at him as a thrashed man, he +took not the slightest notice of their agreeable merriment. Antiquity, +I think, furnishes us with few more remarkable characters than Gentleman +Jones. + +That evening I thought it desirable to invite a friend to pass the time +with me. As long as my liquor lasted he stopped; when it was gone, he +went away. I was just locking the door after him, when it was pushed +open gently, but very firmly, and Gentleman Jones walked in. + +My pride, which had not allowed me to apply for protection to the prison +authorities, would not allow me now to call for help. I tried to get to +the fireplace and arm myself with the poker, but Gentleman Jones was +too quick for me. "I have come, sir, to give you a lesson in morality +to-night," he said; and up went his right hand. + +I stopped the preliminary slap, but before I could hit him, his terrible +left fist reached my head again; and down I fell once more--upon the +hearth-rug this time--not over-heavily. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, making me a bow, "you have now received +your first lesson in morality. Always speak the truth; and never say +what is false of another man behind his back. To-morrow, with your +kind permission, we will finally settle the adjourned question of the +caricature. Good-night." + +I was far too sensible a man to leave the settling of that question to +him. The first thing in the morning I sent a polite note to Gentleman +Jones, informing him that I had abandoned all idea of exhibiting his +likeness to the public in my series of prints, and giving him full +permission to inspect every design I made before it went out of the +prison. I received a most civil answer, thanking me for my courtesy, and +complimenting me on the extraordinary aptitude with which I profited by +the most incomplete and elementary instruction. I thought I deserved +the compliment, and I think so still. Our conduct, as I have already +intimated, was honorable to us, on either side. It was honorable +attention on the part of Gentleman Jones to correct me when I was in +error; it was honorable common sense in me to profit by the correction. +I have never seen this great man since he compounded with his creditors +and got out of prison; but my feelings toward him are still those of +profound gratitude and respect. He gave me the only useful teaching I +ever had; and if this should meet the eye of Gentleman Jones I hereby +thank him for beginning and ending my education in two evenings, without +costing me or my family a single farthing. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +To return to my business affairs. When I was comfortably settled in the +prison, and knew exactly what I owed, I thought it my duty to my father +to give him the first chance of getting me out. His answer to my letter +contained a quotation from Shakespeare on the subject of thankless +children, but no remittance of money. After that, my only course was +to employ a lawyer and be declared a bankrupt. I was most uncivilly +treated, and remanded two or three times. When everything I possessed +had been sold for the benefit of my creditors, I was reprimanded and let +out. It is pleasant to think that, even then, my faith in myself and in +human nature was still not shaken. + +About ten days before my liberation, I was thunderstruck at receiving a +visit from my sister's mahogany-colored husband, Mr. Batterbury. When +I was respectably settled at home, this gentleman would not so much as +look at me without a frown; and now, when I was a scamp, in prison, he +mercifully and fraternally came to condole with me on my misfortunes. +A little dexterous questioning disclosed the secret of this prodigious +change in our relations toward each other, and informed me of a family +event which altered my position toward my sister in the most whimsical +manner. + +While I was being removed to the bankruptcy court, my uncle in the soap +and candle trade was being removed to the other world. His will took +no notice of my father or my mother; but he left to my sister (always +supposed to be his favorite in the family) a most extraordinary legacy +of possible pin-money, in the shape of a contingent reversion to the +sum of three thousand pounds, payable on the death of Lady Malkinshaw, +provided I survived her. + +Whether this document sprang into existence out of any of his involved +money transactions with his mother was more than Mr. Batterbury could +tell. I could ascertain nothing in relation to it, except that the +bequest was accompanied by some cynical remarks, to the effect that the +testator would feel happy if his legacy were instrumental in reviving +the dormant interest of only one member of Doctor Softly's family in the +fortunes of the hopeful young gentleman who had run away from home. My +esteemed uncle evidently felt that he could not in common decency avoid +doing something for his sister's family; and he had done it accordingly +in the most malicious and mischievous manner. This was characteristic of +him; he was just the man, if he had not possessed the document before, +to have had it drawn out on his death-bed for the amiable purpose which +it was now devoted to serve. + +Here was a pretty complication! Here was my sister's handsome legacy +made dependent on my outliving my grandmother! This was diverting +enough; but Mr. Batterbury's conduct was more amusing still. + +The miserly little wretch not only tried to conceal his greedy desire to +save his own pockets by securing the allowance of pin-money left to his +wife, but absolutely persisted in ignoring the plain fact that his visit +to me sprang from the serious pecuniary interest which he and Annabella +now had in the life and health of your humble servant. I made all +the necessary jokes about the strength of the vital principle in Lady +Malkinshaw, and the broken condition of my own constitution; but he +solemnly abstained from understanding one of them. He resolutely kept up +appearances in the very face of detection; not the faintest shade of red +came over his wicked old mahogany face as he told me how shocked he and +his wife were at my present position, and how anxious Annabella was that +he should not forget to give me her love. Tenderhearted creature! I +had only been in prison six months when that overwhelming testimony +of sisterly affection came to console me in my captivity. Ministering +angel! you shall get your three thousand pounds. I am fifty years +younger than Lady Malkinshaw, and I will take care of myself, Annabella, +for thy dear sake! + +The next time I saw Mr. Batterbury was on the day when I at last got +my discharge. He was not waiting to see where I was going next, or what +vital risks I was likely to run on the recovery of my freedom, but +to congratulate me, and to give me Annabella's love. It was a very +gratifying attention, and I said as much, in tones of the deepest +feeling. + +"How is dear Lady Malkinshaw?" I asked, when my grateful emotions had +subsided. + +Mr. Batterbury shook his head mournfully. "I regret to say, not quite so +well as her friends could wish," he answered. "The last time I had the +pleasure of seeing her ladyship, she looked so yellow that if we had +been in Jamaica I should have said it was a case of death in twelve +hours. I respectfully endeavored to impress upon her ladyship the +necessity of keeping the functions of the liver active by daily walking +exercise; time, distance, and pace being regulated with proper regard to +her age--you understand me?--of course, with proper regard to her age." + +"You could not possibly have given her better advice," I said. "When I +saw her, as long as two years ago, Lady Malkinshaw's favorite delusion +was that she was the most active woman of seventy-five in all England. +She used to tumble downstairs two or three times a week, then, because +she never would allow any one to help her; and could not be brought to +believe that she was as blind as a mole, and as rickety on her legs as a +child of a year old. Now you have encouraged her to take to walking, she +will be more obstinate than ever, and is sure to tumble down daily, out +of doors as well as in. Not even the celebrated Malkinshaw toughness can +last out more than a few weeks of that practice. Considering the present +shattered condition of my constitution, you couldn't have given her +better advice--upon my word of honor, you couldn't have given her better +advice!" + +"I am afraid," said Mr. Batterbury, with a power of face I envied; "I +am afraid, my dear Frank (let me call you Frank), that I don't quite +apprehend your meaning: and we have unfortunately no time to enter into +explanations. Five miles here by a roundabout way is only half my daily +allowance of walking exercise; five miles back by a roundabout way +remain to be now accomplished. So glad to see you at liberty again! +Mind you let us know where you settle, and take care of yourself; and +do recognize the importance to the whole animal economy of daily walking +exercise--do now! Did I give you Annabella's love? She's so well. +Good-by." + +Away went Mr. Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his health, +and away went I to visit my publisher for the sake of my pocket. + +An unexpected disappointment awaited me. My "Scenes of Modern Prison +Life" had not sold so well as had been anticipated, and my publisher was +gruffly disinclined to speculate in any future works done in the same +style. During the time of my imprisonment, a new caricaturist had +started, with a manner of his own; he had already formed a new school, +and the fickle public were all running together after him and his +disciples. I said to myself: "This scene in the drama of your life, my +friend, has closed in; you must enter on another, or drop the curtain at +once." Of course I entered on another. + +Taking leave of my publisher, I went to consult an artist-friend on my +future prospects. I supposed myself to be merely on my way to a change +of profession. As destiny ordered it, I was also on my way to the woman +who was not only to be the object of my first love, but the innocent +cause of the great disaster of my life. + +I first saw her in one of the narrow streets leading from Leicester +Square to the Strand. There was something in her face (dimly visible +behind a thick veil) that instantly stopped me as I passed her. I looked +back and hesitated. Her figure was the perfection of modest grace. I +yielded to the impulse of the moment. In plain words, I did what you +would have done, in my place--I followed her. + +She looked round--discovered me--and instantly quickened her pace. +Reaching the westward end of the Strand, she crossed the street and +suddenly entered a shop. + +I looked through the window, and saw her speak to a respectable elderly +person behind the counter, who darted an indignant look at me, and at +once led my charming stranger into a back office. For the moment, I +was fool enough to feel puzzled; it was out of my character you will +say--but remember, all men are fools when they first fall in love. After +a little while I recovered the use of my senses. The shop was at the +corner of a side street, leading to the market, since removed to make +room for the railway. "There's a back entrance to the house!" I thought +to myself--and ran down the side street. Too late! the lovely fugitive +had escaped me. Had I lost her forever in the great world of London? I +thought so at the time. Events will show that I never was more mistaken +in my life. + +I was in no humor to call on my friend. It was not until another day had +passed that I sufficiently recovered my composure to see poverty staring +me in the face, and to understand that I had really no alternative but +to ask the good-natured artist to lend me a helping hand. + +I had heard it darkly whispered that he was something of a vagabond. But +the term is so loosely applied, and it seems so difficult, after all, to +define what a vagabond is, or to strike the right moral balance between +the vagabond work which is boldly published, and the vagabond work which +is reserved for private circulation only, that I did not feel justified +in holding aloof from my former friend. Accordingly, I renewed our +acquaintance, and told him my present difficulty. He was a sharp man, +and he showed me a way out of it directly. + +"You have a good eye for a likeness," he said; "and you have made +it keep you hitherto. Very well. Make it keep you still. You can't +profitably caricature people's faces any longer--never mind! go to the +other extreme, and flatter them now. Turn portrait-painter. You shall +have the use of this study three days in the week, for ten shillings a +week--sleeping on the hearth-rug included, if you like. Get your +paints, rouse up your friends, set to work at once. Drawing is of +no consequence; painting is of no consequence; perspective is of +no consequence; ideas are of no consequence. Everything is of no +consequence, except catching a likeness and flattering your sitter--and +that you know you can do." + +I felt that I could; and left him for the nearest colorman's. + +Before I got to the shop, I met Mr. Batterbury taking his walking +exercise. He stopped, shook hands with me affectionately, and asked +where I was going. A wonderful idea struck me. Instead of answering his +question, I asked after Lady Malkinshaw. + +"Don't be alarmed," said Mr. Batterbury; "her ladyship tumbled +downstairs yesterday morning." + +"My dear sir, allow me to congratulate you!" + +"Most fortunately," continued Mr. Batterbury, with a strong emphasis on +the words, and a fixed stare at me; "most fortunately, the servant had +been careless enough to leave a large bundle of clothes for the wash +at the foot of the stairs, while she went to answer the door. Falling +headlong from the landing, her ladyship pitched (pardon me the +expression)--pitched into the very middle of the bundle. She was a +little shaken at the time, but is reported to be going on charmingly +this morning. Most fortunate, was it not? Seen the papers? Awful news +from Demerara--the yellow fever--" + +"I wish I was at Demerara," I said, in a hollow voice. + +"You! Why?" exclaimed Mr. Batterbury, aghast. + +"I am homeless, friendless, penniless," I went on, getting more hollow +at every word. "All my intellectual instincts tell me that I could +retrieve my position and live respectably in the world, if I might only +try my hand at portrait-painting--the thing of all others that I am +naturally fittest for. But I have nobody to start me; no sitter to give +me a first chance; nothing in my pocket but three-and-sixpence; and +nothing in my mind but a doubt whether I shall struggle on a little +longer, or end it immediately in the Thames. Don't let me detain you +from your walk, my dear sir. I'm afraid Lady Malkinshaw will outlive me, +after all!" + +"Stop!" cried Mr. Batterbury; his mahogany face actually getting +white with alarm. "Stop! Don't talk in that dreadfully unprincipled +manner--don't, I implore, I insist! You have plenty of friends--you have +me, and your sister. Take to portrait-painting--think of your family, +and take to portrait-painting!" + +"Where am I to get a sitter?' I inquired, with a gloomy shake of the +head. + +"Me," said Mr. Batterbury, with an effort. "I'll be your first sitter. +As a beginner, and especially to a member of the family, I suppose your +terms will be moderate. Small beginnings--you know the proverb?" Here he +stopped; and a miserly leer puckered up his mahogany cheeks. + +"I'll do you, life-size, down to your waistcoat, for fifty pounds," said +I. + +Mr. Batterbury winced, and looked about him to the right and left, as if +he wanted to run away. He had five thousand a year, but he contrived to +took, at that moment, as if his utmost income was five hundred. I walked +on a few steps. + +"Surely those terms are rather high to begin with?" he said, walking +after me. "I should have thought five-and-thirty, or perhaps forty--" + +"A gentleman, sir, cannot condescend to bargain," said I, with mournful +dignity. "Farewell!" I waved my hand, and crossed over the way. + +"Don't do that!" cried Mr. Batterbury. "I accept. Give me your address. +I'll come tomorrow. Will it include the frame! There! there! it doesn't +include the frame, of course. Where are you going now? To the colorman? +He doesn't live in the Strand, I hope--or near one of the bridges. Think +of Annabella, think of the family, think of the fifty pounds--an income, +a year's income to a prudent man. Pray, pray be careful, and compose +your mind: promise me, my dear, dear fellow--promise me, on your word of +honor, to compose your mind!" + +I left him still harping on that string, and suffering, I believe, the +only serious attack of mental distress that had ever affected him in the +whole course of his life. + + + +Behold me, then, now starting afresh in the world, in the character of +a portrait-painter; with the payment of my remuneration from my first +sitter depending whimsically on the life of my grandmother. If you care +to know how Lady Malkinshaw's health got on, and how I succeeded in +my new profession, you have only to follow the further course of these +confessions, in the next chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +I GAVE my orders to the colorman, and settled matters with my friend the +artist that day. + +The next morning, before the hour at which I expected my sitter, +having just now as much interest in the life of Lady Malkinshaw as Mr. +Batterbury had in her death, I went to make kind inquiries after her +ladyship's health. The answer was most reassuring. Lady Malkinshaw had +no present intention of permitting me to survive her. She was, at that +very moment, meritoriously and heartily engaged in eating her breakfast. +My prospects being now of the best possible kind, I felt encouraged to +write once more to my father, telling him of my fresh start in life, and +proposing a renewal of our acquaintance. I regret to say that he was so +rude as not to answer my letter. + +Mr. Batterbury was punctual to the moment. He gave a gasp of relief when +he beheld me, full of life, with my palette on my thumb, gazing fondly +on my new canvas. + +"That's right!" he said. "I like to see you with your mind composed. +Annabella would have come with me; but she has a little headache this +morning. She sends her love and best wishes." + +I seized my chalks and began with that confidence in myself which has +never forsaken me in any emergency. Being perfectly well aware of +the absolute dependence of the art of portrait-painting on the art +of flattery, I determined to start with making the mere outline of my +likeness a compliment to my sitter. + +It was much easier to resolve on doing this than really to do it. In +the first place, my hand would relapse into its wicked old caricaturing +habits. In the second place, my brother-in-law's face was so +inveterately and completely ugly as to set every artifice of pictorial +improvement at flat defiance. When a man has a nose an inch long, with +the nostrils set perpendicularly, it is impossible to flatter it--you +must either change it into a fancy nose, or resignedly acquiesce in +it. When a man has no perceptible eyelids, and when his eyes globularly +project so far out of his head, that you expect to have to pick them up +for him whenever you see him lean forward, how are mortal fingers and +bushes to diffuse the right complimentary expression over them? You must +either do them the most hideous and complete justice, or give them up +altogether. The late Sir Thomas Lawrence, P.R.A., was undoubtedly the +most artful and uncompromising flatterer that ever smoothed out all the +natural characteristic blemishes from a sitter's face; but even that +accomplished parasite would have found Mr. Batterbury too much for him, +and would have been driven, for the first time in his practice of art, +to the uncustomary and uncourtly resource of absolutely painting a +genuine likeness. + +As for me, I put my trust in Lady Malkinshaw's power of living, and +portrayed the face of Mr. Batterbury in all its native horror. At +the same time, I sensibly guarded against even the most improbable +accidents, by making him pay me the fifty pounds as we went on, by +installments. We had ten sittings. Each one of them began with a message +from Mr. Batterbury, giving me Annabella's love and apologies for not +being able to come and see me. Each one of them ended with an argument +between Mr. Batterbury and me relative to the transfer of five pounds +from his pocket to mine. I came off victorious on every occasion--being +backed by the noble behavior of Lady Malkinshaw, who abstained from +tumbling down, and who ate and drank, and slept and grew lusty, for +three weeks together. Venerable woman! She put fifty pounds into my +pocket. I shall think of her with gratitude and respect to the end of +my days. + +One morning, while I was sitting before my completed portrait, inwardly +shuddering over the ugliness of it, a suffocating smell of musk was +wafted into the studio; it was followed by a sound of rustling +garments; and that again was succeeded by the personal appearance of my +affectionate sister, with her husband at her heels. Annabella had got to +the end of her stock of apologies, and had come to see me. + +She put her handkerchief to her nose the moment she entered the room. + +"How do you do, Frank? Don't kiss me: you smell of paint, and I can't +bear it." + +I felt a similar antipathy to the smell of musk, and had not the +slightest intention of kissing her; but I was too gallant a man to +say so; and I only begged her to favor me by looking at her husband's +portrait. + +Annabella glanced all round the room, with her handkerchief still at +her nose, and gathered her magnificent silk dress close about her superb +figure with her disengaged hand. + +"What a horrid place!" she said faintly behind her handkerchief. "Can't +you take some of the paint away? I'm sure there's oil on the floor. How +am I to get past that nasty table with the palette on it? Why can't you +bring the picture down to the carriage, Frank?" + +Advancing a few steps, and looking suspiciously about her while she +spoke, her eyes fell on the chimney-piece. An eau-de-Cologne bottle +stood upon it, which she took up immediately with a languishing sigh. + +It contained turpentine for washing brushes in. Before I could warn her, +she had sprinkled herself absently with half the contents of the bottle. +In spite of all the musk that now filled the room, the turpentine +betrayed itself almost as soon as I cried "Stop!" Annabella, with +a shriek of disgust, flung the bottle furiously into the fireplace. +Fortunately it was summer-time, or I might have had to echo the shriek +with a cry of "Fire!" + +"You wretch! you brute! you low, mischievous, swindling blackguard!" +cried my amiable sister, shaking her skirts with all her might, "you +have done this on purpose! Don't tell me! I know you have. What do +you mean by pestering me to come to this dog-kennel of a place?" she +continued, turning fiercely upon the partner of her existence and +legitimate receptacle of all her superfluous wrath. "What do you mean by +bringing me here, to see how you have been swindled? Yes, sir, swindled! +He has no more idea of painting than you have. He has cheated you out +of your money. If he was starving tomorrow he would be the last man in +England to make away with himself--he is too great a wretch--he is too +vicious--he is too lost to all sense of respectability--he is too much +of a discredit to his family. Take me away! Give me your arm directly! +I told you not to go near him from the first. This is what comes of your +horrid fondness for money. Suppose Lady Malkinshaw does outlive him; +suppose I do lose my legacy. What is three thousand pounds to you? My +dress is ruined. My shawl's spoiled. _He_ die! If the old woman lives +to the age of Methuselah, he won't die. Give me your arm. No! Go to my +father. I want medical advice. My nerves are torn to pieces. I'm giddy, +faint, sick--SICK, Mr. Batterbury!" + +Here she became hysterical, and vanished, leaving a mixed odor of musk +and turpentine behind her, which preserved the memory of her visit for +nearly a week afterward. + +"Another scene in the drama of my life seems likely to close in before +long," thought I. "No chance now of getting my amiable sister to +patronize struggling genius. Do I know of anybody else who will sit to +me? No, not a soul. Having thus no portraits of other people to paint, +what is it my duty, as a neglected artist, to do next? Clearly to take a +portrait of myself." + +I did so, making my own likeness quite a pleasant relief to the ugliness +of my brother-in-law's. It was my intention to send both portraits +to the Royal Academy Exhibition, to get custom, and show the public +generally what I could do. I knew the institution with which I had to +deal, and called my own likeness, Portrait of a Nobleman. + +That dexterous appeal to the tenderest feelings of my distinguished +countrymen very nearly succeeded. The portrait of Mr. Batterbury (much +the more carefully-painted picture of the two) was summarily turned out. +The Portrait of a Nobleman was politely reserved to be hung up, if the +Royal Academicians could possibly find room for it. They could not. +So that picture also vanished back into the obscurity of the artist's +easel. Weak and well-meaning people would have desponded under these +circumstances; but your genuine Rogue is a man of elastic temperament, +not easily compressible under any pressure of disaster. I sent the +portrait of Mr. Batterbury to the house of that distinguished patron, +and the Portrait of a Nobleman to the Pawnbroker's. After this I had +plenty of elbow-room in the studio, and could walk up and down briskly, +smoking my pipe, and thinking about what I should do next. + +I had observed that the generous friend and vagabond brother artist, +whose lodger I now was, never seemed to be in absolute want of money; +and yet the walls of his studio informed me that nobody bought his +pictures. There hung all his great works, rejected by the Royal Academy, +and neglected by the patrons of Art; and there, nevertheless, was he, +blithely plying the brush; not rich, it is true, but certainly never +without money enough in his pocket for the supply of all his modest +wants. Where did he find his resources? I determined to ask him the +question the very next time he came to the studio. + +"Dick," I said (we called each other by our Christian names), "where do +you get your money?" + +"Frank," he answered, "what makes you ask that question?" + +"Necessity," I proceeded. "My stock of money is decreasing, and I +don't know how to replenish it. My pictures have been turned out of the +exhibition-rooms; nobody comes to sit to me; I can't make a farthing; +and I must try another line in the Arts, or leave your studio. We are +old friends now. I've paid you honestly week by week; and if you can +oblige me, I think you ought. You earn money somehow. Why can't I?" + +"Are you at all particular?" asked Dick. + +"Not in the least," I answered. + +Dick nodded, and looked pleased; handed me my hat, and put on his own. + +"You are just the sort of man I like," he remarked, "and I would sooner +trust you than any one else I know. You ask how I contrive to earn +money, seeing that all my pictures are still in my own possession. My +dear fellow, whenever my pockets are empty, and I want a ten-pound note +to put into them, I make an Old Master." + +I stared hard at him, not at first quite understanding what he meant. + +"The Old Master I can make best," continued Dick, "is Claude Lorraine, +whom you may have heard of occasionally as a famous painter of classical +landscapes. I don't exactly know (he has been dead so long) how many +pictures he turned out, from first to last; but we will say, for the +sake of argument, five hundred. Not five of these are offered for sale, +perhaps, in the course of five years. Enlightened collectors of old +pictures pour into the market by fifties, while genuine specimens of +Claude, or of any other Old Master you like to mention, only dribble +in by ones and twos. Under these circumstances, what is to be done? Are +unoffending owners of galleries to be subjected to disappointment? +Or are the works of Claude, and the other fellows, to be benevolently +increased in number, to supply the wants of persons of taste and +quality? No man of humanity but must lean to the latter alternative. The +collectors, observe, don't know anything about it--they buy Claude (to +take an instance from my own practice) as they buy all the other Old +Masters, because of his reputation, not because of the pleasure they get +from his works. Give them a picture with a good large ruin, fancy trees, +prancing nymphs, and a watery sky; dirty it down dexterously to the +right pitch; put it in an old frame; call it a Claude; and the sphere +of the Old Master is enlarged, the collector is delighted, the +picture-dealer is enriched, and the neglected modern artist claps a +joyful hand on a well-filled pocket. Some men have a knack at making +Rembrandts, others have a turn for Raphaels, Titians, Cuyps, Watteaus, +and the rest of them. Anyhow, we are all made happy--all pleased with +each other--all benefited alike. Kindness is propagated and money is +dispersed. Come along, my boy, and make an Old Master!" + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +HE led the way into the street as he spoke. I felt the irresistible +force of his logic. I sympathized with the ardent philanthropy of his +motives. I burned with a noble ambition to extend the sphere of the Old +Masters. In short, I took the tide at the flood, and followed Dick. + +We plunged into some by-streets, struck off sharp into a court, and +entered a house by a back door. A little old gentleman in a black velvet +dressing-gown met us in the passage. Dick instantly presented me: "Mr. +Frank Softly--Mr. Ishmael Pickup." The little old gentleman stared at +me distrustfully. I bowed to him with that inexorable politeness which +I first learned under the instructive fist of Gentleman Jones, and which +no force of adverse circumstances has ever availed to mitigate in after +life. Mr. Ishmael Pickup followed my lead. There is not the least need +to describe him--he was a Jew. + +"Go into the front show-room, and look at the pictures, while I speak to +Mr. Pickup," said Dick, familiarly throwing open a door, and pushing me +into a kind of gallery beyond. I found myself quite alone, surrounded by +modern-antique pictures of all schools and sizes, of all degrees of dirt +and dullness, with all the names of all the famous Old Masters, from +Titian to Teniers, inscribed on their frames. A "pearly little gem," by +Claude, with a ticket marked "Sold" stuck into the frame, particularly +attracted my attention. It was Dick's last ten-pound job; and it did +credit to the youthful master's abilities as a workman-like maker of +Claudes. + +I have been informed that, since the time of which I am writing, the +business of gentlemen of Mr. Pickup's class has rather fallen off, +and that there are dealers in pictures, nowadays, who are as just and +honorable men as can be found in any profession or calling, anywhere +under the sun. This change, which I report with sincerity and reflect on +with amazement, is, as I suspect, mainly the result of certain wholesale +modern improvements in the position of contemporary Art, which +have necessitated improvements and alterations in the business of +picture-dealing. + +In my time, the encouragers of modern painting were limited in number +to a few noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, who, in matters of +taste, at least, never presumed to think for themselves. They either +inherited or bought a gallery more or less full of old pictures. It was +as much a part of their education to put their faith in these on hearsay +evidence, as to put their faith in King, Lords and Commons. It was an +article of their creed to believe that the dead painters were the great +men, and that the more the living painters imitated the dead, the better +was their chance of becoming at some future day, and in a minor degree, +great also. At certain times and seasons, these noblemen and gentlemen +self-distrustfully strayed into the painting-room of a modern artist, +self-distrustfully allowed themselves to be rather attracted by his +pictures, self-distrustfully bought one or two of them at prices which +would appear so incredibly low, in these days, that I really cannot +venture to quote them. The picture was sent home; the nobleman or +gentleman (almost always an amiable and a hospitable man) would ask the +artist to his house and introduce him to the distinguished individuals +who frequented it; but would never admit his picture, on terms of +equality, into the society even of the second-rate Old Masters. His work +was hung up in any out-of-the-way corner of the gallery that could be +found; it had been bought under protest; it was admitted by sufferance; +its freshness and brightness damaged it terribly by contrast with the +dirtiness and the dinginess of its elderly predecessors; and its only +points selected for praise were those in which it most nearly resembled +the peculiar mannerism of some Old Master, not those in which it +resembled the characteristics of the old mistress--Nature. + +The unfortunate artist had no court of appeal that he could turn to. +Nobody beneath the nobleman, or the gentleman of ancient lineage, so +much as thought of buying a modern picture. Nobody dared to whisper that +the Art of painting had in anywise been improved or worthily enlarged in +its sphere by any modern professors. For one nobleman who was ready +to buy one genuine modern picture at a small price, there were twenty +noblemen ready to buy twenty more than doubtful old pictures at great +prices. The consequence was, that some of the most famous artists of +the English school, whose pictures are now bought at auction sales for +fabulous sums, were then hardly able to make an income. They were a +scrupulously patient and conscientious body of men, who would as soon +have thought of breaking into a house, or equalizing the distribution of +wealth, on the highway, by the simple machinery of a horse and pistol, +as of making Old Masters to order. They sat resignedly in their lonely +studios, surrounded by unsold pictures which have since been covered +again and again with gold and bank-notes by eager buyers at auctions +and show-rooms, whose money has gone into other than the painter's +pockets---who have never dreamed that the painter had the smallest moral +right to a farthing of it. Year after year, these martyrs of the brush +stood, palette in hand, fighting the old battle of individual +merit against contemporary dullness--fighting bravely, patiently, +independently; and leaving to Mr. Pickup and his pupils a complete +monopoly of all the profit which could be extracted, in their line +of business, from the feebly-buttoned pocket of the patron, and the +inexhaustible credulity of the connoisseur. + +Now all this is changed. Traders and makers of all kinds of commodities +have effected a revolution in the picture-world, never dreamed of by the +noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, and consistently protested +against to this day by the very few of them who still remain alive. + +The daring innovators started with the new notion of buying a picture +which they themselves could admire and appreciate, and for the +genuineness of which the artist was still living to vouch. These +rough and ready customers were not to be led by rules or frightened by +precedents; they were not to be easily imposed upon, for the article +they wanted was not to be easily counterfeited. Sturdily holding to +their own opinions, they thought incessant repetitions of Saints, +Martyrs, and Holy Families, monotonous and uninteresting--and said so. +They thought little pictures of ugly Dutch women scouring pots, and +drunken Dutchmen playing cards, dirty and dear at the price--and said +so. They saw that trees were green in nature, and brown in the Old +Masters, and they thought the latter color not an improvement on +the former--and said so. They wanted interesting subjects; variety, +resemblance to nature; genuineness of the article, and fresh paint; +they had no ancestors whose feelings, as founders of galleries, it was +necessary to consult; no critical gentlemen and writers of valuable +works to snub them when they were in spirits; nothing to lead them by +the nose but their own shrewdness, their own interests, and their own +tastes--so they turned their backs valiantly on the Old Masters, and +marched off in a body to the living men. + +From that time good modern pictures have risen in the scale. Even as +articles of commerce and safe investments for money, they have now (as +some disinterested collectors who dine at certain annual dinners I know +of, can testify) distanced the old pictures in the race. The modern +painters who have survived the brunt of the battle, have lived to see +pictures for which they once asked hundreds, selling for thousands, and +the young generation making incomes by the brush in one year, which +it would have cost the old heroes of the easel ten to accumulate. The +posterity of Mr. Pickup still do a tolerable stroke of business (making +bright modern masters for the market which is glutted with the dingy old +material), and will, probably, continue to thrive and multiply in the +future: the one venerable institution of this world which we can safely +count upon as likely to last, being the institution of human folly. +Nevertheless, if a wise man of the reformed taste wants a modern +picture, there are places for him to go to now where he may be sure of +getting it genuine; where, if the artist is not alive to vouch for his +work, the facts at any rate have not had time to die which vouch for +the dealer who sells it. In my time matters were rather different. The +painters _we_ throve by had died long enough ago for pedigrees to get +confused, and identities disputable; and if I had been desirous of +really purchasing a genuine Old Master for myself--speaking as a +practical man--I don't know where I should have gone to ask for one, +or whose judgment I could have safely relied on to guard me from being +cheated, before I bought it. + + + +We are stopping a long time in the picture-gallery, you will say. I am +very sorry--but we must stay a little longer, for the sake of a living +picture, the gem of the collection. + +I was still admiring Mr. Pickup's Old Masters, when a dirty little boy +opened the door of the gallery, and introduced a young lady. + +My heart--fancy my having a heart!--gave one great bound in me. I +recognized the charming person whom I had followed in the street. + +Her veil was not down this time. All the beauty of her large, soft, +melancholy, brown eyes beamed on me. Her delicate complexion became +suddenly suffused with a lovely rosy flush. Her glorious black hair--no! +I will make an effort, I will suppress my ecstasies. Let me only say +that she evidently recognized me. Will you believe it?--I felt myself +coloring as I bowed to her. I never blushed before in my life. What a +very curious sensation it is! + +The horrid boy claimed her attention with a grin. + +"Master's engaged," he said. "Please to wait here." + +"I don't wish to disturb Mr. Pickup," she answered. + +What a voice! No! I am drifting back into ecstasies: her voice was +worthy of her--I say no more. + +"If you will be so kind as to show him this," she proceeded; "he knows +what it is. And please say, my father is very ill and very anxious. It +will be quite enough if Mr. Pickup will only send me word by you--Yes or +No." + +She gave the boy an oblong slip of stamped paper. Evidently a promissory +note. An angel on earth, sent by an inhuman father, to ask a Jew for +discount! Monstrous! + +The boy disappeared with the message. + +I seized my opportunity of speaking to her. Don't ask me what I said! +Never before (or since) have I talked such utter nonsense, with such +intense earnestness of purpose and such immeasurable depth of feeling. +Do pray remember what you said yourself, the first time you had the +chance of opening your heart to _your_ young lady. The boy returned +before I had half done, and gave her back the odious document. + +"Mr. Pickup's very sorry, miss. The answer is, No." + +She lost all her lovely color, and sighed, and turned away. As she +pulled down her veil, I saw the tears in her eyes. Did that piteous +spectacle partially deprive me of my senses? I actually entreated her to +let me be of some use--as if I had been an old friend, with money enough +in my pocket to discount the note myself. She brought me back to my +senses with the utmost gentleness. + +"I am afraid you forget, sir, that we are strangers. Good-morning." + +I followed her to the door. I asked leave to call on her father, and +satisfy him about myself and my family connections. She only answered +that her father was too ill to see visitors. I went out with her on to +the landing. She turned on me sharply for the first time. + +"You can see for yourself, sir, that I am in great distress. I appeal to +you, as a gentleman, to spare me." + +If you still doubt whether I was really in love, let the facts speak for +themselves. I hung my head, and let her go. + +When I returned alone to the picture-gallery--when I remembered that I +had not even had the wit to improve my opportunity by discovering her +name and address--I did really and seriously ask myself if these were +the first symptoms of softening of the brain. I got up, and sat down +again. I, the most audacious man of my age in London, had behaved like a +bashful boy! Once more I had lost her--and this time, also, I had nobody +but myself to blame for it. + +These melancholy meditations were interrupted by the appearance of +my friend, the artist, in the picture-gallery. He approached me +confidentially, and spoke in a mysterious whisper. + +"Pickup is suspicious," he said; "and I have had all the difficulty in +the world to pave your way smoothly for you at the outset. However, +if you can contrive to make a small Rembrandt, as a specimen, you may +consider yourself employed here until further notice. I am obliged to +particularize Rembrandt, because he is the only Old Master disengaged +at present. The professional gentleman who used to do him died the other +day in the Fleet--he had a turn for Rembrandts, and can't be easily +replaced. Do you think you could step into his shoes? It's a peculiar +gift, like an ear for music, or a turn for mathematics. Of course +you will be put up to the simple elementary rules, and will have the +professional gentleman's last Rembrandt as a guide; the rest depends, +my dear friend, on your powers of imitation. Don't be discouraged by +failures, but try again and again; and mind you are dirty and dark +enough. You have heard a great deal about the light and shade of +Rembrandt--Remember always that, in your case, light means dusky yellow, +and shade dense black; remember that, and--" + +"No pay," said the voice of Mr. Pickup behind me; "no pay, my dear, +unlesh your Rembrandt ish good enough to take me in--even me, Ishmael, +who dealsh in pictersh and knowsh what'sh what." + +What did I care about Rembrandt at that moment? I was thinking of my +lost young lady; and I should probably have taken no notice of Mr. +Pickup, if it had not occurred to me that the old wretch must know her +father's name and address. I at once put the question. The Jew grinned, +and shook his grisly head. "Her father'sh in difficultiesh, and mum's +the word, my dear." To that answer he adhered, in spite of all that I +could say to him. + +With equal obstinacy I determined, sooner or later, to get my +information. + +I took service under Mr. Pickup, purposing to make myself essential to +his prosperity, in a commercial sense--and then to threaten him with +offering my services to a rival manufacturer of Old Masters, unless +he trusted me with the secret of the name and address. My plan looked +promising enough at the time. But, as some wise person has said, Man +is the sport of circumstances. Mr. Pickup and I parted company +unexpectedly, on compulsion. And, of all the people in the world, my +grandmother, Lady Malkinshaw, was the unconscious first cause of the +events which brought me and the beloved object together again, for the +third time! + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +ON the next day, I was introduced to the Jew's workshop, and to the +eminent gentlemen occupying it. My model Rembrandt was put before me; +the simple elementary rules were explained; and my materials were all +placed under my hands. + +Regard for the lovers of the Old Masters, and for the moral well-being +of society, forbids me to be particular about the nature of my labors, +or to go into dangerous detail on the subject of my first failures +and my subsequent success. I may, however, harmlessly admit that my +Rembrandt was to be of the small or cabinet size, and that, as there was +a run on Burgomasters just then, my subject was naturally to be of +the Burgomaster sort. Three parts of my picture consisted entirely of +different shades of dirty brown and black; the fourth being composed +of a ray of yellow light falling upon the wrinkled face of a +treacle-colored old man. A dim glimpse of a hand, and a faint suggestion +of something like a brass washhand basin, completed the job, which +gave great satisfaction to Mr. Pickup, and which was described in the +catalogue as-- + + + +"A Burgomaster at Breakfast. Originally in the collection of Mynheer +Van Grubb. Amsterdam. A rare example of the master. Not engraved. The +chiar'oscuro in this extraordinary work is of a truly sublime character. +Price, Two Hundred Guineas." + + + +I got five pounds for it. I suppose Mr. Pickup got one-ninety-five. + +This was perhaps not very encouraging as a beginning, in a pecuniary +point of view. But I was to get five pounds more, if my Rembrandt sold +within a given time. It sold a week after it was in a fit state to be +trusted in the showroom. I got my money, and began enthusiastically on +another Rembrandt--"A Burgomaster's Wife Poking the Fire." Last time, +the chiar'oscuro of the master had been yellow and black, this time it +was to be red and black. I was just on the point of forcing my way into +Mr. Pickup's confidence, as I had resolved, when a catastrophe happened, +which shut up the shop and abruptly terminated my experience as a maker +of Old Masters. + +"The Burgomaster's Breakfast" had been sold to a new customer, a +venerable connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large +picture-gallery. The old gentleman was in raptures with the +picture--with its tone, with its breadth, with its grand feeling for +effect, with its simple treatment of detail. It wanted nothing, in his +opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. Pickup knew the raw and ticklish +state of the surface, however, far too well, to allow of even an +attempt at performing this process, and solemnly asserted, that he was +acquainted with no cleansing preparation which could be used on the +Rembrandt without danger of "flaying off the last exquisite glazings of +the immortal master's brush." The old gentleman was quite satisfied with +this reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away his purchase +in his own carriage on the spot. + +For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that time, a +Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer's office, terrified +us all by the information that a gentleman related to our venerable +connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had pronounced it to be an impudent +counterfeit, and had engaged on his own account to have the picture +tested in a court of law, and to charge the seller and maker thereof +with conspiring to obtain money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I +looked at each other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable +piece of news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my +faculties first; and I was the man who solved that important and +difficult question, while the rest were still utterly bewildered by it. +"Will you promise me five and twenty pounds in the presence of these +gentlemen if I get you out of this scrape?" said I to my terrified +employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty hands and answered, "Yesh, my +dear!" + +Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office of the +lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case against us; and he +was able to tell me some of the things I most wanted to know in relation +to the picture. + +I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our customer's +possession. The old gentleman had consented to the question of its +genuineness being tried, but had far too high an idea of his own +knowledge as a connoisseur to incline to the opinion that he had been +taken in. His suspicious relative was not staying in the house, but was +in the habit of visiting him, every day, in the forenoon. That was as +much as I wanted to know from others. The rest depended on myself, on +luck, time, human credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge +which I had acquired in the days of my medical studies. I left the +conclave at the picture-dealer's forthwith, and purchased at the nearest +druggist's a bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I +decline to particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the bottle +"The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound"; and I wrapped round it the following +note: + + + +"Mr. Pickup's respectful compliments to Mr.--(let us say, Green). Is +rejoiced to state that he finds himself unexpectedly able to forward Mr. +Green's views relative to the cleaning of 'The Burgomaster's Breakfast.' +The inclosed compound has just reached him from Amsterdam. It is made +from a recipe found among the papers of Rembrandt himself--has been +used with the most astonishing results on the Master's pictures in +every gallery of Holland, and is now being applied to the surface of the +largest Rembrandt in Mr. P.'s own collection. Directions for use: Lay +the picture flat, pour the whole contents of the bottle over it gently, +so as to flood the entire surface; leave the liquid on the surface for +six hours, then wipe it off briskly with a soft cloth of as large a +size as can be conveniently used. The effect will be the most wonderful +removal of all dirt, and a complete and brilliant metamorphosis of the +present dingy surface of the picture." + + + +I left this note and the bottle myself at two o'clock that day; then +went home, and confidently awaited the result. + +The next morning our friend from the office called, announcing himself +by a burst of laughter outside the door. Mr. Green had implicitly +followed the directions in the letter the moment he received it--had +allowed the "Amsterdam Cleansing Compound" to remain on the Rembrandt +until eight o'clock in the evening--had called for the softest linen +cloth in the whole house--and had then, with his own venerable hands, +carefully wiped off the compound, and with it the whole surface of the +picture! The brown, the black, the Burgomaster, the breakfast, and the +ray of yellow light, all came clean off together in considerably less +than a minute of time. If the picture, was brought into court now, the +evidence it could give against us was limited to a bit of plain panel, +and a mass of black pulp rolled up in a duster. + +Our line of defense was, of course, that the compound had been +improperly used. For the rest, we relied with well-placed confidence on +the want of evidence against us. Mr. Pickup wisely closed his shop for a +while, and went off to the Continent to ransack the foreign galleries. +I received my five and twenty pounds, rubbed out the beginning of my +second Rembrandt, closed the back door of the workshop behind me, and +there was another scene of my life at an end. I had but one circumstance +to regret--and I did regret it bitterly. I was still as ignorant as ever +of the young lady's name and address. + +My first visit was to the studio of my excellent artist-friend, whom +I have already presented to the reader under the sympathetic name of +"Dick." He greeted me with a letter in his hand. It was addressed to +me--it had been left at the studio a few days since; and (marvel of all +marvels!) the handwriting was Mr. Batterbury's. Had this philanthropic +man not done befriending me even yet? Were there any present or +prospective advantages to be got out of him still? Read his letter, and +judge. + + + +"SIR--Although you have forfeited by your ungentlemanly conduct toward +myself, and your heartlessly mischievous reception of my dear wife, all +claim upon the forbearance of the most forbearing of your relatives, +I am disposed, from motives of regard for the tranquillity of Mrs. +Batterbury's family, and of sheer good-nature so far as I am myself +concerned, to afford you one more chance of retrieving your position by +leading a respectable life. The situation I am enabled to offer you is +that of secretary to a new Literary and Scientific Institution, about to +be opened in the town of Duskydale, near which neighborhood I possess, +as you must be aware, some landed property. The office has been placed +at my disposal, as vice-president of the new Institution. The salary is +fifty pounds a year, with apartments on the attic-floor of the building. +The duties are various, and will be explained to you by the local +committee, if you choose to present yourself to them with the inclosed +letter of introduction. After the unscrupulous manner in which you have +imposed on my liberality by deceiving me into giving you fifty pounds +for an audacious caricature of myself, which it is impossible to hang +up in any room of the house, I think this instance of my forgiving +disposition still to befriend you, after all that has happened, ought to +appeal to any better feelings that you may still have left, and revive +the long dormant emotions of repentance and self-reproach, when you +think on your obedient servant, + +"DANIEL BATTERBURY." + +Bless me! What A long-winded style, and what a fuss about fifty pounds +a year, and a bed in an attic! These were naturally the first emotions +which Mr. Batterbury's letter produced in me. What was his real motive +for writing it? I hope nobody will do me so great an injustice as to +suppose that I hesitated for one instant about the way of finding _that_ +out. Of course I started off directly to inquire if Lady Malkinshaw had +had another narrow escape of dying before me. + +"Much better, sir," answered my grandmother's venerable butler, wiping +his lips carefully before he spoke; "her ladyship's health has been much +improved since her accident." + +"Accident!" I exclaimed. "What, another? Lately? Stairs again?" + +"No, sir; the drawing-room window this time," answered the butler, with +semi-tipsy gravity. "Her ladyship's sight having been defective of late +years, occasions her some difficulty in calculating distances. +Three days ago, her ladyship went to look out of the window, and, +miscalculating the distance--" Here the butler, with a fine dramatic +feeling for telling a story, stopped just before the climax of the +narrative, and looked me in the face with an expression of the deepest +sympathy. + +"And miscalculating the distance?" I repeated impatiently. + +"Put her head through a pane of glass," said the butler, in a soft +voice suited to the pathetic nature of the communication. "By great +good fortune her ladyship had been dressed for the day, and had got her +turban on. This saved her ladyship's head. But her ladyship's neck, sir, +had a very narrow escape. A bit of the broken glass wounded it within +half a quarter of an inch of the carotty artery" (meaning, probably, +carotid); "I heard the medical gentleman say, and shall never forget +it to my dying day, that her ladyship's life had been saved by a +hair-breadth. As it was, the blood lost (the medical gentleman said +that, too, sir) was accidentally of the greatest possible benefit, +being apoplectic, in the way of clearing out the system. Her ladyship's +appetite has been improved ever since--the carriage is out airing of +her at this very moment--likewise, she takes the footman's arm and the +maid's up and downstairs now, which she never would hear of before this +last accident. 'I feel ten years younger' (those were her ladyship's own +words to me, this very day), 'I feel ten years younger, Vokins, since I +broke the drawing-room window.' And her ladyship looks it!" + +No doubt. Here was the key to Mr. Batterbury's letter of forgiveness. +His chance of receiving the legacy looked now further off than ever; +he could not feel the same confidence as his wife in my power of living +down any amount of starvation and adversity; and he was, therefore, +quite ready to take the first opportunity of promoting my precious +personal welfare and security, of which he could avail himself, without +spending a farthing of money. I saw it all clearly, and admired the +hereditary toughness of the Malkinshaw family more gratefully than ever. +What should I do? Go to Duskydale? Why not? It didn't matter to me where +I went, now that I had no hope of ever seeing those lovely brown eyes +again. + +I got to my new destination the next day, presented my credentials, gave +myself the full advantage of my high connections, and was received with +enthusiasm and distinction. + +I found the new Institution torn by internal schisms even before it was +opened to the public. Two factious governed it--a grave faction and +a gay faction. Two questions agitated it: the first referring to the +propriety of celebrating the opening season by a public ball, and the +second to the expediency of admitting novels into the library. The grim +Puritan interest of the whole neighborhood was, of course, on the +grave side--against both dancing and novels, as proposed by local +loose thinkers and latitudinarians of every degree. I was officially +introduced to the debate at the height of the squabble; and found myself +one of a large party in a small room, sitting round a long table, each +man of us with a new pewter inkstand, a new quill pen, and a clean sheet +of foolscap paper before him. Seeing that everybody spoke, I got on +my legs along with the rest, and made a slashing speech on the +loose-thinking side. I was followed by the leader of the grim +faction--an unlicked curate of the largest dimensions. + +"If there were, so to speak, no other reason against dancing," said +my reverend opponent, "there is one unanswerable objection to it. +Gentlemen! John the Baptist lost his head through dancing!"' + +Every man of the grim faction hammered delightedly on the table, as that +formidable argument was produced; and the curate sat down in triumph. I +jumped up to reply, amid the counter-cheering of the loose-thinkers; +but before I could say a word the President of the Institution and the +rector of the parish came into the room. + +They were both men of authority, men of sense, and fathers of charming +daughters, and they turned the scale on the right side in no time. The +question relating to the admission of novels was postponed, and the +question of dancing or no dancing was put to the vote on the spot. The +President, the rector and myself, the three handsomest and highest-bred +men in the assembly, led the way on the liberal side, waggishly warning +all gallant gentlemen present to beware of disappointing the young +ladies. This decided the waverers, and the waverers decided the +majority. My first business, as Secretary, was the drawing out of a +model card of admission to the ball. + +My next occupation was to look at the rooms provided for me. + +The Duskydale Institution occupied a badly-repaired ten-roomed house, +with a great flimsy saloon built at one side of it, smelling of paint +and damp plaster, and called the Lecture Theater. It was the chilliest, +ugliest, emptiest, gloomiest place I ever entered in my life; the idea +of doing anything but sitting down and crying in it seemed to me quite +preposterous; but the committee took a different view of the matter, +and praised the Lecture Theater as a perfect ballroom. The Secretary's +apartments were two garrets, asserting themselves in the most barefaced +manner, without an attempt at disguise. If I had intended to do more +than earn my first quarter's salary, I should have complained. But as +I had not the slightest intention of remaining at Duskydale, I could +afford to establish a reputation for amiability by saying nothing. + +"Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A most distinguished +person, and quite an acquisition to the neighborhood." Such was +the popular opinion of me among the young ladies and the liberal +inhabitants. "Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A worldly, +vainglorious young man. The last person in England to promote the +interests of our new Institution." Such was the counter-estimate of +me among the Puritan population. I report both opinions quite +disinterestedly. There is generally something to be said on either +side of every question; and, as for me, I can always hold up the scales +impartially, even when my own character is the substance weighing in +them. Readers of ancient history need not be reminded, at this time of +day, that there may be Roman virtue even in a Rogue. + +The objects, interests, and general business of the Duskydale +Institution were matters with which I never thought of troubling myself +on assuming the duties of Secretary. All my energies were given to the +arrangements connected with the opening ball. + +I was elected by acclamation to the office of general manager of the +entertainments; and I did my best to deserve the confidence reposed in +me; leaving literature and science, so far as I was concerned, perfectly +at liberty to advance themselves or not, just as they liked. Whatever +my colleagues may have done, after I left them, nobody at Duskydale +can accuse me of having ever been accessory to the disturbing of +quiet people with useful knowledge. I took the arduous and universally +neglected duty of teaching the English people how to be amused entirely +on my own shoulders, and left the easy and customary business of making +them miserable to others. + +My unhappy countrymen! (and thrice unhappy they of the poorer sort)--any +man can preach to them, lecture to them, and form them into classes--but +where is the man who can get them to amuse themselves? Anybody may cram +their poor heads; but who will brighten their grave faces? Don't read +story-books, don't go to plays, don't dance! Finish your long day's +work and then intoxicate your minds with solid history, revel in +the too-attractive luxury of the lecture-room, sink under the soft +temptation of classes for mutual instruction! How many potent, grave and +reverent tongues discourse to the popular ear in these siren strains, +and how obediently and resignedly this same weary popular ear listens! +What if a bold man spring up one day, crying aloud in our social +wilderness, "Play, for Heaven's sake, or you will work yourselves into +a nation of automatons! Shake a loose leg to a lively fiddle! Women +of England! drag the lecturer off the rostrum, and the male mutual +instructor out of the class, and ease their poor addled heads of +evenings by making them dance and sing with you. Accept no offer from +any man who cannot be proved, for a year past, to have systematically +lost his dignity at least three times a week, after office hours. You, +daughters of Eve, who have that wholesome love of pleasure which is one +of the greatest adornments of the female character, set up a society for +the promotion of universal amusement, and save the British nation from +the lamentable social consequences of its own gravity!" Imagine a +voice crying lustily after this fashion--what sort of echoes would it +find?--Groans? + +I know what sort of echoes my voice found. They were so discouraging +to me, and to the frivolous minority of pleasure-seekers, that I +recommended lowering the price of admission so as to suit the means of +any decent people who were willing to leave off money-grubbing and tear +themselves from the charms of mutual instruction for one evening at +least. The proposition was indignantly negatived by the managers of the +Institution. I am so singularly obstinate a man that I was not to be +depressed even by this. + +My next efforts to fill the ballroom could not be blamed. I procured +a local directory, put fifty tickets in my pocket, dressed myself in +nankeen pantaloons and a sky-blue coat (then the height of fashion), +and set forth to tout for dancers among all the members of the genteel +population, who, not being notorious Puritans, had also not been so +obliging as to take tickets for the ball. There never was any pride or +bashfulness about me. Excepting certain periods of suspense and anxiety, +I am as even-tempered a Rogue as you have met with anywhere since the +days of Gil Blas. + +My temperament being opposed to doing anything with regularity, I opened +the directory at hazard, and determined to make my first call at the +first house that caught my eye. Vallombrosa Vale Cottages. No. 1. Doctor +and Miss Dulcifer. Very good. I have no preferences. Let me sell the +first two tickets there. I found the place; I opened the garden gate; I +advanced to the door, innocently wondering what sort of people I should +find inside. + +If I am asked what was the true reason for this extraordinary activity +on my part, in serving the interests of a set of people for whom I cared +nothing, I must honestly own that the loss of my young lady was at the +bottom of it. Any occupation was welcome which kept my mind, in some +degree at least, from dwelling on the bitter disappointment that had +befallen me. When I rang the bell at No. 1, did I feel no presentiment +of the exquisite surprise in store for me? I felt nothing of the sort. +The fact is, my digestion is excellent. Presentiments are more closely +connected than is generally supposed with a weak state of stomach. + +I asked for Miss Dulcifer, and was shown into the sitting-room. + +Don't expect me to describe my sensations: hundreds of sensations flew +all over me. There she was, sitting alone, near the window! There she +was, with nimble white fingers, working a silk purse! + +The melancholy in her face and manner, when I had last seen her, +appeared no more. She was prettily dressed in maize color, and the room +was well furnished. Her father had evidently got over his difficulties. +I had been inclined to laugh at his odd name, when I found it in the +directory! Now I began to dislike it, because it was her name, too. It +was a consolation to remember that she could change it. Would she change +it for mine? + +I was the first to recover; I boldly drew a chair near her and took her +hand. + +"You see," I said, "it is of no use to try to avoid me. This is the +third time we have met. Will you receive me as a visitor, under these +extraordinary circumstances? Will you give me a little happiness to +compensate for what I have suffered since you left me?" + +She smiled and blushed. + +"I am so surprised," she answered, "I don't know what to say." + +"Disagreeably surprised?" I asked. + +She first went on with her work, and then replied (a little sadly, as I +thought): + +"No!" + +I was ready enough to take advantage of my opportunities this time; but +she contrived with perfect politeness to stop me. She seemed to remember +with shame, poor soul, the circumstances under which I had last seen +her. + +"How do you come to be at Duskydale?" she inquired, abruptly changing +the subject. "And how did you find us out here?" + +While I was giving her the necessary explanations her father came in. I +looked at him with considerable curiosity. + +A tall stout gentleman with impressive respectability oozing out of him +at every pore--with a swelling outline of black-waistcoated stomach, +with a lofty forehead, with a smooth double chin resting pulpily on a +white cravat. Everything in harmony about him except his eyes, and these +were so sharp, bright and resolute that they seemed to contradict the +bland conventionality which overspread all the rest of the man. Eyes +with wonderful intelligence and self-dependence in them; perhaps, also, +with something a little false in them, which I might have discovered +immediately under ordinary circumstances: but I looked at the doctor +through the medium of his daughter, and saw nothing of him at the first +glance but his merits. + +"We are both very much indebted to you, sir, for your politeness in +calling," he said, with excessive civility of manner. "But our stay +at this place has drawn to an end. I only came here for the +re-establishment of my daughter's health. She has benefited greatly +by the change of air, and we have arranged to return home to-morrow. +Otherwise, we should have gladly profited by your kind offer of tickets +for the ball." + +Of course I had one eye on the young lady while he was speaking. She was +looking at her father, and a sudden sadness was stealing over her face. +What did it mean? Disappointment at missing the ball? No, it was a +much deeper feeling than that. My interest was excited. I addressed a +complimentary entreaty to the doctor not to take his daughter away from +us. I asked him to reflect on the irreparable eclipse that he would be +casting over the Duskydale ballroom. To my amazement, she only +looked down gloomily on her work while I spoke; her father laughed +contemptuously. + +"We are too completely strangers here," he said, "for our loss to be +felt by any one. From all that I can gather, society in Duskydale will +be glad to hear of our departure. I beg your pardon, Alicia--I ought to +have said _my_ departure." + +Her name was Alicia! I declare it was a luxury to me to hear it--the +name was so appropriate, so suggestive of the grace and dignity of her +beauty. + +I turned toward her when the doctor had done. She looked more gloomily +than before. I protested against the doctor's account of himself. +He laughed again, with a quick distrustful lo ok, this time, at his +daughter. + +"If you were to mention my name among your respectable inhabitants," he +went on, with a strong, sneering emphasis on the word respectable, "they +would most likely purse up their lips and look grave at it. Since I gave +up practice as a physician, I have engaged in chemical investigations +on a large scale, destined I hope, to lead to some important public +results. Until I arrive at these, I am necessarily obliged, in my +own interests, to keep my experiments secret, and to impose similar +discretion on the workmen whom I employ. This unavoidable appearance +of mystery, and the strictly retired life which my studies compel me to +lead, offend the narrow-minded people in my part of the county, close +to Barkingham; and the unpopularity of my pursuits has followed me here. +The general opinion, I believe, is, that I am seeking by unholy arts for +the philosopher's stone. Plain man, as you see me, I find myself getting +quite the reputation of a Doctor Faustus in the popular mind. Even +educated people in this very place shake their heads and pity my +daughter there for living with an alchemical parent, within easy +smelling-distance of an explosive laboratory. Excessively absurd, is it +not?" + +It might have been excessively absurd, but the lovely Alicia sat with +her eyes on her work, looking as if it were excessively sad, and not +giving her father the faintest answering smile when he glanced toward +her and laughed, as he said his last words. I could not at all tell +what to make of it. The doctor talked of the social consequences of his +chemical inquiries as if he were living in the middle ages. However, +I was far too anxious to see the charming brown eyes again to ask +questions which would be sure to keep them cast down. So I changed the +topic to chemistry in general; and, to the doctor's evident astonishment +and pleasure, told him of my own early studies in the science. + +This led to the mention of my father, whose reputation had reached the +ears of Doctor Dulcifer. As he told me that, his daughter looked up--the +sun of beauty shone on me again! I touched next on my high connections, +and on Lady Malkinshaw; I described myself as temporarily banished from +home for humorous caricaturing, and amiable youthful wildness. She was +interested; she smiled--and the sun of beauty shone warmer than ever! +I diverged to general topics, and got brilliant and amusing. She +laughed--the nightingale notes of her merriment bubbled into my ears +caressingly--why could I not shut my eyes and listen to them? Her color +rose; her face grew animated. Poor soul! A little lively company was but +too evidently a rare treat to her. Under such circumstances, who would +not be amusing? If she had said to me, "Mr. Softly, I like tumbling," I +should have made a clown of myself on the spot. I should have stood on +my head (if I could), and been amply rewarded for the graceful exertion, +if the eyes of Alicia had looked kindly on my elevated heels! + +How long I stayed is more than I can tell. Lunch came up. I eat and +drank, and grew more amusing than ever. When I at last rose to go, the +brown eyes looked on me very kindly, and the doctor gave me his card. + +"If you don't mind trusting yourself in the clutches of Doctor Faustus," +he said, with a gay smile, "I shall be delighted to see you if you are +ever in the neighborhood of Barkingham." + +I wrung his hand, mentally relinquishing my secretaryship while I +thanked him for the invitation. I put out my hand next to his daughter, +and the dear friendly girl met the advance with the most charming +readiness. She gave me a good, hearty, vigorous, uncompromising shake. +O precious right hand! never did I properly appreciate your value until +that moment. + +Going out with my head in the air, and my senses in the seventh heaven, +I jostled an elderly gentleman passing before the garden gate. I turned +round to apologize; it was my brother in office, the estimable Treasurer +of the Duskydale Institute. + +"I have been half over the town looking after you," he said. "The +Managing Committee, on reflection, consider your plan of personally +soliciting public attendance at the hall to be compromising the dignity +of the Institution, and beg you, therefore, to abandon it." + +"Very well," said I, "there is no harm done. Thus far, I have only +solicited two persons, Doctor and Miss Dulcifer, in that delightful +little cottage there." + +"You don't mean to say you have asked _them_ to come to the ball!" + +"To be sure I have. And I am sorry to say they can't accept the +invitation. Why should they not be asked?" + +"Because nobody visits them." + +"And why should nobody visit them?" + +The Treasurer put his arm confidentially through mine, and walked me on +a few steps. + +"In the first place," he said, "Doctor Dulcifer's name is not down in +the Medical List." + +"Some mistake," I suggested, in my off-hand way. "Or some foreign +doctor's degree not recognized by the prejudiced people in England." + +"In the second place," continued the Treasurer, "we have found out that +he is not visited at Barkingham. Consequently, it would be the height of +imprudence to visit him here." + +"Pooh! pooh! All the nonsense of narrow-minded people, because he lives +a retired life, and is engaged in finding out chemical secrets which the +ignorant public don't know how to appreciate." + +"The shutters are always up in the front top windows of his house at +Barkingham," said the Treasurer, lowering his voice mysteriously. "I +know it from a friend resident near him. The windows themselves are +barred. It is currently reported that the top of the house, inside, is +shut off by iron doors from the bottom. Workmen are employed there who +don't belong to the neighborhood, who don't drink at the public houses, +who only associate with each other. Unfamiliar smells and noises find +their way outside sometimes. Nobody in the house can be got to talk. The +doctor, as he calls himself, does not even make an attempt to get into +society, does not even try to see company for the sake of his poor +unfortunate daughter. What do you think of all that?" + +"Think!" I repeated contemptuously; "I think the inhabitants of +Barkingham are the best finders of mares' nests in all England. The +doctor is making important chemical discoveries (the possible value of +which I can appreciate, being chemical myself), and he is not quite +fool enough to expose valuable secrets to the view of all the world. His +laboratory is at the top of the house, and he wisely shuts it off from +the bottom to prevent accidents. He is one of the best fellows I ever +met with, and his daughter is the loveliest girl in the world. What +do you all mean by making mysteries about nothing? He has given me an +invitation to go and see him. I suppose the next thing you will find out +is, that there is something underhand even in that?" + +"You won't accept the invitation?" + +"I shall, at the very first opportunity; and if you had seen Miss +Alicia, so would you." + +"Don't go. Take my advice and don't go," said the Treasurer, gravely. +"You are a young man. Reputable friends are of importance to you at the +outset of life. I say nothing against Doctor Dulcifer--he came here as +a stranger, and he goes away again as a stranger--but you can't be sure +that his purpose in asking you so readily to his house is a harmless +one. Making a new acquaintance is always a doubtful speculation; but +when a man is not visited by his respectable neighbors--" + +"Because he doesn't open his shutters," I interposed sarcastically. + +"Because there are doubts about him and his house which he will not +clear up," retorted the Treasurer. "You can take your own way. You may +turn out right, and we may all be wrong; I can only say again, it is +rash to make doubtful acquaintances. Sooner or later you are always +sure to repent it. In your place I should certainly not accept the +invitation." + +"In my place, my dear sir," I answered, "you would do exactly what I +mean to do." + +The Treasurer took his arm out of mine, and without saying another word, +wished me good-morning. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +I HAD spoken confidently enough, while arguing the question of +Doctor Dulcifer's respectability with the Treasurer of the D uskydale +Institution; but, if my perceptions had not been blinded by my +enthusiastic admiration for Alicia, I think I should have secretly +distrusted my own opinion as soon as I was left by myself. Had I been +in full possession of my senses, I might have questioned, on reflection, +whether the doctor's method of accounting for the suspicions which kept +his neighbors aloof from him, was quite satisfactory. Love is generally +described, I believe, as the tender passion. When I remember the +insidiously relaxing effect of it on all my faculties, I feel inclined +to alter the popular definition, and to call it a moral vapor-bath. + +What the Managing Committee of the Duskydale Institution thought of the +change in me, I cannot imagine. The doctor and his daughter left the +town on the day they had originally appointed, before I could make +any excuse for calling again; and, as a necessary consequence of their +departure, I lost all interest in the affairs of the ball, and yawned +in the faces of the committee when I was obliged to be present at their +deliberations in my official capacity. + +It was all Alicia with me, whatever they did. I read the Minutes through +a soft medium of maize-colored skirts. Notes of melodious laughter +bubbled, in my mind's ear, through all the drawling and stammering of +our speech-making members. When our dignified President thought he had +caught my eye, and made oratorical overtures to me from the top of the +table, I was lost in the contemplation of silk purses and white fingers +weaving them. I meant "Alicia" when I said "hear, hear"--and when I +officially produced my subscription list, it was all aglow with the +roseate hues of the marriage-license. If any unsympathetic male readers +should think this statement exaggerated, I appeal to the ladies--_they_ +will appreciate the rigid, yet tender, truth of it. + +The night of the ball came. I have nothing but the vaguest recollection +of it. + +I remember that the more the perverse lecture theater was warmed the +more persistently it smelled of damp plaster; and that the more brightly +it was lighted, the more overgrown and lonesome it looked. I can recall +to mind that the company assembled numbered about fifty, the room being +big enough to hold three hundred. I have a vision still before me, +of twenty out of these fifty guests, solemnly executing intricate +figure-dances, under the superintendence of an infirm local +dancing-master--a mere speck of fidgety human wretchedness twisting +about in the middle of an empty floor. I see, faintly, down the dim +vista of the Past, an agreeable figure, like myself, with a cocked hat +under its arm, black tights on its lightly tripping legs, a rosette in +its buttonhole, and an engaging smile on its face, walking from end to +end of the room, in the character of Master of the Ceremonies. These +visions and events I can recall vaguely; and with them my remembrances +of the ball come to a close. It was a complete failure, and that would, +of itself, have been enough to sicken me of remaining at the Duskydale +Institution, even if I had not had any reasons of the tender sort for +wishing to extend my travels in rural England to the neighborhood of +Barkingham. + +The difficulty was how to find a decent pretext for getting away. +Fortunately, the Managing Committee relieved me of any perplexity on +this head, by passing a resolution, one day, which called upon the +President to remonstrate with me on my want of proper interest in the +affairs of the Institution. I replied to the remonstrance that the +affairs of the Institution were so hopelessly dull that it was equally +absurd and unjust to expect any human being to take the smallest +interest in them. At this there arose an indignant cry of "Resign!" +from the whole committee; to which I answered politely, that I should be +delighted to oblige the gentlemen, and to go forthwith, on condition of +receiving a quarter's salary in the way of previous compensation. + +After a sordid opposition from an economical minority, my condition of +departure was accepted. I wrote a letter of resignation, received in +exchange twelve pounds ten shillings, and took my place, that same day, +on the box-seat of the Barkingham mail. + +Rather changeable this life of mine, was it not? Before I was +twenty-five years of age, I had tried doctoring, caricaturing +portrait-painting, old picture-making, and Institution-managing; and +now, with the help of Alicia, I was about to try how a little marrying +would suit me. Surely, Shakespeare must have had me prophetically in his +eye, when he wrote about "one man in his time playing many parts." What +a character I should have made for him, if he had only been alive now! + +I found out from the coachman, among other matters, that there was a +famous fishing stream near Barkingham; and the first thing I did, on +arriving at the town, was to buy a rod and line. + +It struck me that my safest way of introducing myself would be to +tell Doctor Dulcifer that I had come to the neighborhood for a little +fishing, and so to prevent him from fancying that I was suspiciously +prompt in availing myself of his offered hospitality. I put up, of +course, at the inn--stuck a large parchment book of flies half in and +half out of the pocket of my shooting-jacket--and set off at once to the +doctor's. The waiter of whom I asked my way stared distrustfully while +he directed me. The people at the inn had evidently heard of my new +friend, and were not favorably disposed toward the cause of scientific +investigation. + +The house stood about a mile out of the town, in a dip of ground near +the famous fishing-stream. It was a lonely, old-fashioned red-brick +building, surrounded by high walls, with a garden and plantation behind +it. + +As I rang at the gate-bell, I looked up at the house. Sure enough all +the top windows in front were closed with shutters and barred. I was let +in by a man in livery; who, however, in manners and appearance, looked +much more like a workman in disguise than a footman. He had a very +suspicious eye, and he fixed it on me unpleasantly when I handed him my +card. + +I was shown into a morning-room exactly like other morning-rooms in +country houses. + +After a long delay the doctor came in, with scientific butchers' sleeves +on his arms, and an apron tied round his portly waist. He apologized for +coming down in his working dress, and said everything that was civil and +proper about the pleasure of unexpectedly seeing me again so soon. There +was something rather preoccupied, I thought, in those brightly resolute +eyes of his; but I naturally attributed it to the engrossing influence +of his scientific inquiries. He was evidently not at all taken in by my +story about coming to Barkingham to fish; but he saw, as well as I did, +that it would do to keep up appearances, and contrived to look highly +interested immediately in my parchment-book. I asked after his daughter. +He said she was in the garden, and proposed that we should go and find +her. We did find her, with a pair of scissors in her hand, outblooming +the flowers that she was trimming. She looked really glad to see me--her +brown eyes beamed clear and kindly--she gave my hand another inestimable +shake--the summer breezes waved her black curls gently upward from her +waist--she had on a straw hat and a brown Holland gardening dress. +I eyed it with all the practical interest of a linendraper. O Brown +Holland you are but a coarse and cheap fabric, yet how soft and +priceless you look when clothing the figure of Alicia! + +I lunched with them. The doctor recurred to the subject of my angling +intentions, and asked his daughter if she had heard what parts of the +stream at Barkingham were best for fishing in. + +She replied, with a mixture of modest evasiveness and adorable +simplicity, that she had sometimes seen gentlemen angling from a +meadow-bank about a quarter of a mile below her flower-garden. I risked +everything in my usual venturesome way, and asked if she would show +me where the place was, in case I called the next morning with my +fishing-rod. She looked dutifully at her father. He smiled and nodded. +Inestimable parent! + +On rising to take leave, I was rather curious to know whether he would +offer me a bed in the house, or not. He detected the direction of my +thoughts in my face and manner, and apologized for not having a bed to +offer me; every spare room in the house being occupied by his chemical +assistants, and by the lumber of laboratories. Even while he was +speaking those few words, Alicia's face changed just as I had seen +it change at our first interview. The downcast, gloomy expression +overspread it again. Her father's eye wandered toward her when mine +did, and suddenly assumed the same distrustful look which I remembered +detecting in it, under similar circumstances, at Duskydale. What could +this mean? + +The doctor shook hands with me in the hall, leaving the workman-like +footman to open the door. + +I stopped to admire a fine pair of stag's antlers. The footman coughed +impatiently. I still lingered, hearing the doctor's footsteps ascending +the stairs. They suddenly stopped; and then there was a low heavy +clang, like the sound of a closing door made of iron, or of some other +unusually strong material; then total silence, interrupted by another +impatient cough from the workman-like footman. After that, I thought my +wisest proceeding would be to go away before my mysterious attendant was +driven to practical extremities. + +Between thoughts of Alicia, and inquisitive yearnings to know more about +the doctor's experiments, I passed rather a restless night at my inn. + +The next morning, I found the lovely mistress of my destiny, with the +softest of shawls on her shoulders, the brightest of parasols in her +hand, and the smart little straw hat of the day before on her head, +ready to show me the way to the fishing-place. If I could be sure +beforehand that these pages would only be read by persons actually +occupied in the making of love--that oldest and longest-established of +all branches of manufacturing industry--I could go into some very tender +and interesting particulars on the subject of my first day's fishing, +under the adorable auspices of Alicia. But as I cannot hope for a wholly +sympathetic audience--as there may be monks, misogynists, political +economists, and other professedly hard-hearted persons present among +those whom I now address--I think it best to keep to safe generalities, +and to describe my love-making in as few sentences as the vast, though +soft, importance of the subject will allow me to use. + +Let me confess, then, that I assumed the character of a fastidious +angler, and managed to be a week in discovering the right place to fish +in--always, it is unnecessary to say, under Alicia's guidance. We went +up the stream and down the stream, on one side. We crossed the bridge, +and went up the stream and down the stream on the other. We got into +a punt, and went up the stream (with great difficulty), and down the +stream (with great ease). We landed on a little island, and walked all +round it, and inspected the stream attentively from a central point of +view. We found the island damp, and went back to the bank, and up the +stream, and over the bridge, and down the stream again; and then, for +the first time, the sweet girl turned appealingly to me, and confessed +that she had exhausted her artless knowledge of the locality. It was +exactly a week from the day when I had first followed her into the +fields with my fishing-rod over my shoulder; and I had never yet caught +anything but Alicia's hand, and that not with my hook. + +We sat down close together on the bank, entirely in consequence of our +despair at not finding a good fishing-place. I looked at the brown eyes, +and they turned away observantly down the stream. I followed them, and +they turned away inquiringly up the stream. Was this angel of patience +and kindness still looking for a fishing place? And was it _up_ the +stream, after all? No!--she smiled and shook her head when I asked the +question, and the brown eyes suddenly stole a look at me. I could +hold out no longer In one breathless moment I caught hold of both her +hands--in one stammering sentence I asked her if she would be my wife. + +She tried faintly to free her hands--gave up the attempt--smiled--made +an effort to look grave--gave that up, too--sighed suddenly--checked +herself suddenly--said nothing. Perhaps I ought to have taken my answer +for granted; but the least business-like man that ever lived becomes +an eminently practical character in matters of love. I repeated my +question. She looked away confusedly; her eye lighted on a corner of +her father's red-brick house, peeping through a gap in the plantation +already mentioned; and her blushing cheeks lost their color instantly. I +felt her hands grow cold; she drew them resolutely out of mine, and rose +with the tears in her eyes. Had I offended her? + +"No," she said when I asked her the question, and turned to me again, +and held out her hand with such frank, fearless kindness, that I almost +fell on my knees to thank her for it. + +Might I hope ever to hear her say "Yes" to the question that I had asked +on the riverbank? + +She sighed bitterly, and turned again toward the red-brick house. + +Was there any family reason against her saying "Yes"? Anything that I +must not inquire into? Any opposition to be dreaded from her father? + +The moment I mentioned her father, she shrank away from me and burst +into a violent fit of crying. + +"Don't speak of it again!" she said in a broken voice. "I mustn't--you +mustn't--ah, don't, don't say a word more about it! I'm not distressed +with you--it is not your fault. Don't say anything--leave me quiet for a +minute. I shall soon be better it you leave me quiet." + +She dried her eyes directly, with a shiver as if it was cold, and took +my arm. I led her back to the house-gate; and then, feeling that I +could not go in to lunch as usual, after what had happened, said I would +return to the fishing-place. + +"Shall I come to dinner this evening?" I asked, as I rang the gate-bell +for her. + +"Oh, yes--yes!--do come, or he--" + +The mysterious man-servant opened the door, and we parted before she +could say the next words. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +I WENT back to the fishing-place with a heavy heart, overcome by +mournful thoughts, for the first time in my life. It was plain that +she did not dislike me, and equally plain that there was some obstacle +connected with her father, which forbade her to listen to my offer of +marriage. From the time when she had accidentally looked toward the +red-brick house, something in her manner which it is quite impossible +to describe, had suggested to my mind that this obstacle was not only +something she could not mention, but something that she was partly +ashamed of, partly afraid of, and partly doubtful about. What could it +be? How had she first known it? In what way was her father connected +with it? + +In the course of our walks she had told me nothing about herself which +was not perfectly simple and unsuggestive. + +Her childhood had been passed in England. After that, she had lived with +her father and mother at Paris, where the doctor had many friends--for +all of whom she remembered feeling more or less dislike, without being +able to tell why. They had then come to England, and had lived in +lodgings in London. For a time they had been miserably poor. But, after +her mother's death--a sudden death from heart disease--there had come a +change in their affairs, which she was quite unable to explain. They had +removed to their present abode, to give the doctor full accommodation +for the carrying on of his scientific pursuits. He often had occasion to +go to London; but never took her with him. The only woman at home +now, beside herself, was an elderly person, who acted as cook and +housekeeper, and who had been in their service for many years. It was +very lonely sometimes not having a companion of her own age and sex; +but she had got tolerably used to bear it, and to amuse herself with her +books, and music, and flowers. + +Thus far she chatted about herself quite freely; but when I tried, even +in the vaguest manner, to lead her into discussing the causes of +her strangely secluded life, she looked so distressed, and became so +suddenly silent, that I naturally refrained from saying another word on +that topic. One conclusion, however, I felt tolerably sure that I had +drawn correctly from what she said: her father's conduct toward her, +though not absolutely blamable or grossly neglectful on any point, +had still never been of a nature to make her ardently fond of him. He +performed the ordinary parental duties rigidly and respectably enough; +but he had apparently not cared to win all the filial love which his +daughter would have bestowed on a more affectionate man. + +When, after reflecting on what Alicia had told me, I began to call to +mind what I had been able to observe for myself, I found ample materials +to excite my curiosity in relation to the doctor, if not my distrust. + +I have already described how I heard the clang of the heavy door, on the +occasion of my first visit to the red-brick house. The next day, when +the doctor again took leave of me in the hall, I hit on a plan for +seeing the door as well as hearing it. I dawdled on my way out, till I +heard the clang again; then pretended to remember some important message +which I had forgotten to give to the doctor, and with a look of innocent +hurry ran upstairs to overtake him. The disguised workman ran after +me with a shout of "Stop!" I was conveniently deaf to him--reached the +first floor landing--and arrived at a door which shut off the whole +staircase higher up; an iron door, as solid as if it belonged to a +banker's strong-room, and guarded millions of money. I returned to the +hall, inattentive to the servant's not over-civil remonstrances, and, +saying that I would wait till I saw the doctor again, left the house. + +The next day two pale-looking men, in artisan costume, came up to the +gate at the same time as I did, each carrying a long wooden box under +his arm, strongly bound with iron. I tried to make them talk while we +were waiting for admission, but neither of them would go beyond "Yes," +or "No"; and both had, to my eyes, some unmistakably sinister lines in +their faces. The next day the houskeeping cook came to the door--a buxom +old woman with a look and a ready smile, and something in her manner +which suggested that she had not begun life quite so respectably as she +was now ending it. She seemed to be decidedly satisfied with my personal +appearance; talked to me on indifferent matters with great glibness; +but suddenly became silent and diplomatic the moment I looked toward the +stair and asked innocently if she had to go up and down them often in +the course of the day. As for the doctor himself he was unapproachable +on the subject of the mysterious upper regions. If I introduced +chemistry in general into the conversation he begged me not to spoil his +happy holiday hours with his daughter and me, by leading him back to his +work-a-day thoughts. If I referred to his own experiments in particular +he always made a joke about being afraid of my chemical knowledge, and +of my wishing to anticipate him in his discoveries. In brief, after a +week's run of the lower regions, the upper part of the red-brick +house and the actual nature of its owner's occupations still remained +impenetrable mysteries to me, pry, ponder, and question as I might. + +Thinking of this on the river-bank, in connection with the distressing +scene which I had just had with Alicia, I found that the mysterious +obstacle at which she had hinted, the mysterious life led by her +father, and the mysterious top of the house that had hitherto defied +my curiosity, all three connected themselves in my mind as links of the +same chain. The obstacle to my marrying Alicia was the thing that most +troubled me. If I only found out what it was, and if I made light of +it (which I was resolved beforehand to do, let it be what it might), I +should most probably end by overcoming her scruples, and taking her away +from the ominous red-brick house in the character of my wife. But how +was I to make the all-important discovery? + +Cudgeling my brains for an answer to this question, I fell at last into +reasoning upon it, by a process of natural logic, something after this +fashion: The mysterious top of the house is connected with the +doctor, and the doctor is connected with the obstacle which has made +wretchedness between Alicia and me. If I can only get to the top of the +house, I may get also to the root of the obstacle. It is a dangerous and +an uncertain experiment; but, come what may of it, I will try and find +out, if human ingenuity can compass the means, what Doctor Dulcifer's +occupation really is, on the other side of that iron door. + +Having come to this resolution (and deriving, let me add, +parenthetically, great consolation from it), the next subject of +consideration was the best method of getting safely into the top regions +of the house. + +Picking the lock of the iron door was out of the question, from the +exposed nature of the situation which that mysterious iron barrier +occupied. My only possible way to the second floor lay by the back of +the house. I had looked up at it two or three times, while walking +in the garden after dinner with Alicia. What had I brought away in +my memory as the result of that casual inspection of my host's back +premises? Several fragments of useful information. + +In the first place, one of the most magnificent vines I had ever seen +grew against the back wall of the house, trained carefully on a strong +trellis-work. In the second place, the middle first-floor back window +looked out on a little stone balcony, built on the top of the porch +over the garden door. In the third place, the back windows of the +second floor had been open, on each occasion when I had seen them--most +probably to air the house, which could not be ventilated from the front +during the hot summer weather, in consequence of the shut-up condition +of all the windows thereabouts. In the fourth place, hard by the +coach-house in which Doctor Dulcifer's neat gig was put up, there was a +tool-shed, in which the gardener kept his short pruning-ladder. In the +fifth and last place, outside the stable in which Doctor Dulcifer's +blood mare lived in luxurious solitude, was a dog-kennel with a large +mastiff chained to it night and day. If I could only rid myself of the +dog--a gaunt, half-starved brute, made savage and mangy by perpetual +confinement--I did not see any reason to despair of getting in +undiscovered at one of the second-floor windows--provided I waited until +a sufficiently late hour, and succeeded in scaling the garden wall at +the back of the house. + +Life without Alicia being not worth having, I determined to risk the +thing that very night. + +Going back at once to the town of Barkingham, I provided myself with a +short bit of rope, a little bull's-eye lantern, a small screwdriver, and +a nice bit of beef chemically adapted for the soothing of troublesome +dogs. I then dressed, disposed of these things neatly in my coat +pockets, and went to the doctor's to dinner. In one respect, +Fortune favored my audacity. It was the sultriest day of the whole +season--surely they could not think of shutting up the second-floor back +windows to-night! + +Alicia was pale and silent. The lovely brown eyes, when they looked +at me, said as plainly as in words, "We have been crying a great deal, +Frank, since we saw you last." The little white fingers gave mine a +significant squeeze--and that was all the reference that passed between +us to what happened in the morning. She sat through the dinner bravely; +but, when the dessert came, left us for the night, with a few shy, +hurried words about the excessive heat of the weather being too much +for her. I rose to open the door, and exchanged a last meaning look with +her, as she bowed and went by me. Little did I think that I should have +to live upon nothing but the remembrance of that look for many weary +days that were yet to come. + +The doctor was in excellent spirits, and almost oppressively hospitable. +We sat sociably chatting over our claret till past eight o'clock. Then +my host turned to his desk to write a letter before the post want out; +and I strolled away to smoke a cigar in the garden. + +Second-floor back windows all open, atmosphere as sultry as ever, +gardener's pruning-ladder quite safe in the tool-shed, savage mastiff +in his kennel crunching his bones for supper. Good. The dog will not be +visited again tonight: I may throw my medicated bit of beef at once into +his kennel. I acted on the idea immediately; the dog seized his piece of +beef; I heard a snap, a wheeze, a choke, and a groan--and there was the +mastiff disposed of, inside the kennel, where nobody could find out that +he was dead till the time came for feeding him the next morning. + +I went back to the doctor; we had a social glass of cold +brandy-and-water together; I lighted another cigar, and took my leave. +My host being too respectable a man not to keep early country hours, I +went away, as usual, about ten. The mysterious man-servant locked the +gate behind me. I sauntered on the road back to Barkingham for about +five minutes, then struck off sharp for the plantation, lighted +my lantern with the help of my cigar and a brimstone match of that +barbarous period, shut down the slide again, and made for the garden +wall. + +It was formidably high, and garnished horribly with broken bottles; +but it was also old, and when I came to pick at the mortar with my +screw-driver, I found it reasonably rotten with age and damp. + +I removed four bricks to make footholes in different positions up the +wall. It was desperately hard and long work, easy as it may sound in +description--especially when I had to hold on by the top of the wall, +with my flat opera hat (as we used to call it in those days) laid, as a +guard, between my hand and the glass, while I cleared a way through the +sharp bottle-ends for my other hand and my knees. This done, my great +difficulty was vanquished; and I had only to drop luxuriously into a +flower-bed on the other side of the wall. + +Perfect stillness in the garden: no sign of a light anywhere at the back +of the house: first-floor windows all shut: second-floor windows still +open. I fetched the pruning-ladder; put it against the side of the +porch; tied one end of my bit of rope to the top round of it; took the +other end in my mouth, and prepared to climb to the balcony over the +porch by the thick vine branches and the trellis-work. + +No man who has had any real experience of life can have failed to +observe how amazingly close, in critical situations, the grotesque +and the terrible, the comic and the serious, contrive to tread on each +other's heels. At such times, the last thing we ought properly to +think of comes into our heads, or the least consistent event that could +possibly be expected to happen does actually occur. When I put my +life in danger on that memorable night, by putting my foot on the +trellis-work, I absolutely thought of the never-dying Lady Malkinshaw +plunged in refreshing slumber, and of the frantic exclamations Mr. +Batterbury would utter if he saw what her ladyship's grandson was +doing with his precious life and limbs at that critical moment. I am no +hero--I was fully aware of the danger to which I was exposing myself; +and yet I protest that I caught myself laughing under my breath, with +the most outrageous inconsistency, at the instant when I began the +ascent of the trellis-work. + +I reached the balcony over the porch in safety, depending more upon +the tough vine branches than the trellis-work during my ascent. My next +employment was to pull up the pruning-ladder, as softly as possible, +by the rope which I held attached to it. This done, I put the ladder +against the house wall, listened, measured the distance to the open +second-floor window with my eye, listened again--and, finding all quiet, +began my second and last ascent. The ladder was comfortably long, and I +was conveniently tall; my hand was on the window-sill--I mounted another +two rounds--and my eyes were level with the interior of the room. + +Suppose any one should be sleeping there! + +I listened at the window attentively before I ventured on taking my +lantern out of my coatpocket. The night was so quite and airless that +there was not the faintest rustle among the leaves in the garden beneath +me to distract my attention. I listened. The breathing of the lightest +of sleepers must have reached my ear, through that intense stillness, if +the room had been a bedroom, and the bed were occupied. I heard nothing +but the quick beat of my own heart. The minutes of suspense were passing +heavily--I laid my other hand over the window-sill, then a moment of +doubt came--doubt whether I should carry the adventure any further. I +mastered my hesitation directly--it was too late for second thoughts. +"Now for it!" I whispered to myself, and got in at the window. + +To wait, listening again, in the darkness of that unknown region, was +more than I had courage for. The moment I was down on the floor, I +pulled the lantern out of my pocket and raised the shade. + +So far, so good--I found myself in a dirty lumber-room. Large pans, some +of them cracked and more of them broken; empty boxes bound with iron, of +the same sort as those I had seen the workmen bringing in at the front +gate; old coal sacks; a packing-case full of coke; and a huge, cracked, +mouldy blacksmith's bellows--these were the principal objects that I +observed in the lumber-room. The one door leading out of it was open, +as I had expected it would be, in order to let the air through the back +window into the house. I took off my shoes, and stole into the passage. +My first impulse, the moment I looked along it, was to shut down my +lantern-shade, and listen again. + +Still I heard nothing; but at the far end of the passage I saw a bright +light pouring through the half-opened door of one of the mysterious +front rooms. + +I crept softly toward it. A decidedly chemical smell began to steal into +my nostrils--and, listening again, I thought I heard above me, and +in some distant room, a noise like the low growl of a large furnace, +muffled in some peculiar manner. Should I retrace my steps in that +direction? No--not till I had seen something of the room with the bright +light, outside of which I was now standing. I bent forward softly; +looking by little and little further and further through the opening of +the door, until my head and shoulders were fairly inside the room, and +my eyes had convinced me that no living soul, sleeping or waking, was in +any part of it at that particular moment. Impelled by a fatal curiosity, +I entered immediately, and began to look about me with eager eyes. + +I saw iron ladles, pans full of white sand, files with white metal left +glittering in their teeth, molds of plaster of Paris, bags containing +the same material in powder, a powerful machine with the name and use +of which I was theoretically not unacquainted, white metal in a +partially-fused state, bottles of aquafortis, dies scattered over a +dresser, crucibles, sandpaper, bars of metal, and edged tools in plenty, +of the strangest construction. I was not at all a scrupulous man, as +the reader knows by this time; but when I looked at these objects, and +thought of Alicia, I could not for the life of me help shuddering. There +was not the least doubt about it, even after the little I had seen: +the important chemical pursuits to which Doctor Dulcifer was devoting +himself, meant, in plain English and in one word--Coining. + +Did Alicia know what I knew now, or did she only suspect it? + +Whichever way I answered that question in my own mind, I could be no +longer at any loss for an explanation of her behavior in the meadow +by the stream, or of that unnaturally gloomy, downcast look which +overspread her face when her father's pursuits were the subject of +conversation. Did I falter in my resolution to marry her, now that I had +discovered what the obstacle was which had made mystery and wretchedness +between us? Certainly not. I was above all prejudices. I was the +least particular of mankind. I had no family affection in my way--and, +greatest fact of all, I was in love. Under those circumstances what +Rogue of any spirit would have faltered? After the first shock of the +discovery was over, my resolution to be Alicia's husband was settled +more firmly than ever. + +There was a little round table in a corner of the room furthest from +the door, which I had not yet examined. A feverish longing to look at +everything within my reach--to penetrate to the innermost recesses of +the labyrinth in which I had involved myself--consumed me. I went to the +table, and saw upon it, ranged symmetrically side by side, four objects +which looked like thick rulers wrapped up in silver paper. I opened the +paper at the end of one of the rulers, and found that it was composed of +half-crowns. I had closed the paper again, and was just raising my head +from the table over which it had been bent, when my right cheek came +in contact with something hard and cold. I started back--looked up--and +confronted Doctor Dulcifer, holding a pistol at my right temple. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE doctor (like me) had his shoes off. The doctor (like me) had come +in without making the least noise. He cocked the pistol without saying a +word. I felt that I was probably standing face to face with death, and +I too said not a word. We two Rogues looked each other steadily and +silently in the face--he, the mighty and prosperous villain, with my +life in his hands: I, the abject and poor scamp, waiting his mercy. + +It must have been at least a minute after I heard the click of the +cocked pistol before he spoke. + +"How did you get here?" he asked. + +The quiet commonplace terms in which he put his question, and the +perfect composure and politeness of his manner, reminded me a little of +Gentleman Jones. But the doctor was much the more respectable-looking +man of the two; his baldness was more intellectual and benevolent; there +was a delicacy and propriety in the pulpiness of his fat white chin, a +bland bagginess in his unwhiskered cheeks, a reverent roughness about +his eyebrows and a fullness in his lower eyelids, which raised him far +higher, physiognomically speaking, in the social scale, than my old +prison acquaintance. Put a shovel-hat on Gentleman Jones, and the effect +would only have been eccentric; put the same covering on the head of +Doctor Dulcifer, and the effect would have been strictly episcopal. + +"How did you get here?" he repeated, still without showing the least +irritation. + +I told him how I had got in at the second-floor window, without +concealing a word of the truth. The gravity of the situation, and the +sharpness of the doctor's intellects, as expressed in his eyes, made +anything like a suppression of facts on my part a desperately dangerous +experiment. + +"You wanted to see what I was about up here, did you?" said he, when I +had ended my confession. "Do you know?" + +The pistol barrel touched my cheek as he said the last words. I +thought of all the suspicious objects scattered about the room, of the +probability that he was only putting this question to try my courage, of +the very likely chance that he would shoot me forthwith, if I began to +prevaricate. I thought of these things, and boldly answered: + +"Yes, I do know." + +He looked at me reflectively; then said, in low, thoughtful tones, +speaking, not to me, but entirely to himself: + +"Suppose I shoot him?" + +I saw in his eye, that if I flinched, he would draw the trigger. + +"Suppose you trust me?" I said, without moving a muscle. + +"I trusted you, as an honest man, downstairs, and I find you, like a +thief, up here," returned the doctor, with a self-satisfied smile at +the neatness of his own retort. "No," he continued, relapsing into +soliloquy: "there is risk every way; but the least risk perhaps is to +shoot him." + +"Wrong," said I. "There are relations of mine who have a pecuniary +interest in my life. I am the main condition of a contingent reversion +in their favor. If I am missed, I shall be inquired after." I have +wondered since at my own coolness in the face of the doctor's pistol; +but my life depended on my keeping my self-possession, and the desperate +nature of the situation lent me a desperate courage. + +"How do I know you are not lying?" he asked. + +"Have I not spoken the truth, hitherto?" + +Those words made him hesitate. He lowered the pistol slowly to his side. +I began to breathe freely. + +"Trust me," I repeated. "If you don't believe I would hold my tongue +about what I have seen here, for your sake, you may be certain that I +would for--" + +"For my daughter's," he interposed, with a sarcastic smile. + +I bowed with all imaginable cordiality. The doctor waved his pistol in +the air contemptuously. + +"There are two ways of making you hold your tongue," he said. "The first +is shooting you; the second is making a felon of you. On consideration, +after what you have said, the risk in either case seems about equal. I +am naturally a humane man; your family have done me no injury; I will +not be the cause of their losing money; I won't take your life, I'll +have your character. We are all felons on this floor of the house. You +have come among us--you shall be one of us. Ring that bell." + +He pointed with the pistol to a bell-handle behind me. I pulled it in +silence. + +Felon! The word has an ugly sound--a very ugly sound. But, considering +how near the black curtain had been to falling over the adventurous +drama of my life, had I any right to complain of the prolongation of the +scene, however darkly it might look at first? Besides, some of the best +feelings of our common nature (putting out of all question the value +which men so unaccountably persist in setting on their own lives), +impelled me, of necessity, to choose the alternative of felonious +existence in preference to that of respectable death. Love and Honor +bade me live to marry Alicia; and a sense of family duty made me shrink +from occasioning a loss of three thousand pounds to my affectionate +sister. Perish the far-fetched scruples which would break the heart of +one lovely woman, and scatter to the winds the pin-money of another! + +"If you utter one word in contradiction of anything I say when my +workmen come into the room," said the doctor, uncocking his pistol as +soon as I had rung the bell, "I shall change my mind about leaving your +life and taking your character. Remember that; and keep a guard on your +tongue." + +The door opened, and four men entered. One was an old man whom I had not +seen before; in the other three I recognized the workman-like footman, +and the two sinister artisans whom I had met at the house-gate. They all +started, guiltily enough, at seeing me. + +"Let me introduce you," said the doctor, taking me by the arm. "Old File +and Young File, Mill and Screw--Mr. Frank Softly. We have nicknames +in this workshop, Mr. Softly, derived humorously from our professional +tools and machinery. When you have been here long enough, you will get +a nickname, too. Gentlemen," he continued, turning to the workmen, "this +is a new recruit, with a knowledge of chemistry which will be useful to +us. He is perfectly well aware that the nature of our vocation makes +us suspicious of all newcomers, and he, therefore, desires to give you +practical proof that he is to be depended on, by making half-a-crown +immediately, and sending the same up, along with our handiwork, directed +in his own handwriting, to our estimable correspondents in London. When +you have all seen him do this of his own free will, and thereby put his +own life as completely within the power of the law as we have put +ours, you will know that he is really one of us, and will be under no +apprehensions for the future. Take great pains with him, and as soon as +he turns out a tolerably neat article, from the simple flatted plates, +under your inspection, let me know. I shall take a few hours' repose +on my camp-bed in the study, and shall be found there whenever you want +me." + +He nodded to us all round in the most friendly manner, and left the +room. + +I looked with considerable secret distrust at the four gentlemen who +were to instruct me in the art of making false coin. Young File was the +workman-like footman; Old File was his father; Mill and Screw were the +two sinister artisans. The man of the company whose looks I liked least +was Screw. He had wicked little twinkling eyes--and they followed me +about treacherously whenever I moved. "You and I, Screw, are likely to +quarrel," I thought to myself, as I tried vainly to stare him out of +countenance. + +I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith. Resistance was +useless, and calling for help would have been sheer insanity. It was +midnight; and, even supposing the windows had not been barred, the +house was a mile from any human habitation. Accordingly, I abandoned +myself to fate with my usual magnanimity. Only let me end in winning +Alicia, and I am resigned to the loss of whatever small shreds and +patches of respectability still hang about me--such was my philosophy. +I wish I could have taken higher moral ground with equally consoling +results to my own feelings. + +The same regard for the well-being of society which led me to abstain +from entering into particulars on the subject of Old Master-making, when +I was apprenticed to Mr. Ishmael Pickup, now commands me to be equally +discreet on the kindred subject of Half-Crown-making, under the auspices +of Old File, Young File, Mill, and Screw. + +Let me merely record that I was a kind of machine in the hands of these +four skilled workmen. I moved from room to room, and from process to +process, the creature of their directing eyes and guiding hands. I cut +myself, I burned myself, I got speechless from fatigue, and giddy from +want of sleep. In short, the sun of the new day was high in the heavens +before it was necessary to disturb Doctor Dulcifer. It had absolutely +taken me almost as long to manufacture a half-a-crown feloniously as +it takes a respectable man to make it honestly. This is saying a great +deal; but it is literally true for all that. + +Looking quite fresh and rosy after his night's sleep, the doctor +inspected my coin with the air of a schoolmaster examining a little +boy's exercise; then handed it to Old File to put the finished touches +and correct the mistakes. It was afterward returned to me. My own hand +placed it in one of the rouleaux of false half-crowns; and my own hand +also directed the spurious coin, when it had been safely packed up, to +a certain London dealer who was to be on the lookout for it by the next +night's mail. That done, my initiation was so far complete. + +"I have sent for your luggage, and paid your bill at the inn," said the +doctor; "of course in your name. You are now to enjoy the hospitality +that I could not extend to you before. A room upstairs has been prepared +for you. You are not exactly in a state of confinement; but, until your +studies are completed, I think you had better not interrupt them by +going out." + +"A prisoner!" I exclaimed aghast. + +"Prisoner is a hard word," answered the doctor. "Let us say, a guest +under surveillance." + +"Do you seriously mean that you intend to keep me shut up in this part +of the house, at your will and pleasure?" I inquired, my heart sinking +lower and lower at every word I spoke. + +"It is very spacious and airy," said the doctor; "as for the lower part +of the house, you would find no company there, so you can't want to go +to it." + +"No company!" I repeated faintly. + +"No. My daughter went away this morning for change of air and scene, +accompanied by my housekeeper. You look astonished, my dear sir--let +me frankly explain myself. While you were the respectable son of Doctor +Softly, and grandson of Lady Malkinshaw, I was ready enough to let my +daughter associate with you, and should not have objected if you had +married her off my hands into a highly-connected family. Now, however, +when you are nothing but one of the workmen in my manufactory of money, +your social position is seriously altered for the worse; and, as I could +not possibly think of you for a son-in-law, I have considered it best to +prevent all chance of your communicating with Alicia again, by sending +her away from this house while you are in it. You will be in it until I +have completed certain business arrangements now in a forward state of +progress--after that, you may go away if you please. Pray remember that +you have to thank yourself for the position you now stand in; and do +me the justice to admit that my conduct toward you is remarkably +straightforward, and perfectly natural under all the circumstances." + +These words fairly overwhelmed me. I did not even make an attempt to +answer them. The hard trials to my courage, endurance, and physical +strength, through which I had passed within the last twelve hours, had +completely exhausted all my powers of resistance. I went away speechless +to my own room; and when I found myself alone there, burst out crying. +Childish, was it not? + +When I had been rested and strengthened by a few hours' sleep, I found +myself able to confront the future with tolerable calmness. + +What would it be best for me to do? Ought I to attempt to make my +escape? I did not despair of succeeding; but when I began to think of +the consequences of success, I hesitated. My chief object now was, not +so much to secure my own freedom, as to find my way to Alicia. I had +never been so deeply and desperately in love with her as I was now, when +I knew she was separated from me. Suppose I succeeded in escaping from +the clutches of Doctor Dulcifer--might I not be casting myself uselessly +on the world, without a chance of finding a single clew to trace her +by? Suppose, on the other hand, that I remained for the present in +the red-brick house--should I not by that course of conduct be putting +myself in the best position for making discoveries? + +In the first place, there was the chance that Alicia might find some +secret means of communicating with me if I remained where I was. In the +second place, the doctor would, in all probability, have occasion to +write to his daughter, or would be likely to receive letters from her; +and, if I quieted all suspicion on my account, by docile behavior, +and kept my eyes sharply on the lookout, I might find opportunities of +surprising the secrets of his writing-desk. I felt that I need be under +no restraints of honor with a man who was keeping me a prisoner, and who +had made an accomplice of me by threatening my life. Accordingly, +while resolving to show outwardly an amiable submission to my fate, I +determined at the same time to keep secretly on the watch, and to take +the very first chance of outwitting Doctor Dulcifer that might happen +to present itself. When we next met I was perfectly civil to him. He was +too well-bred a man not to match me on the common ground of courtesy. + +"Permit me to congratulate you," he said, "on the improvement in your +manner and appearance. You are beginning well, Francis. Go on as you +have begun." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MY first few days' experience in my new position satisfied me that +Doctor Dulcifer preserved himself from betrayal by a system of +surveillance worthy of the very worst days of the Holy Inquisition +itself. + +No man of us ever knew that he was not being overlooked at home, or +followed when he went out, by another man. Peepholes were pierced in the +wall of each room, and we were never certain, while at work, whose eye +was observing, or whose ear was listening in secret. Though we all lived +together, we were probably the least united body of men ever assembled +under one roof. By way of effectually keeping up the want of union +between us, we were not all trusted alike. I soon discovered that +Old File and Young File were much further advanced in the doctor's +confidence than Mill, Screw, or myself. There was a locked-up room, +and a continually-closed door shutting off a back staircase, of both of +which Old File and Young File possessed keys that were never so much as +trusted in the possession of the rest of us. There was also a trap-door +in the floor of the principal workroom, the use of which was known to +nobody but the doctor and his two privileged men. If we had not been all +nearly on an equality in the matter of wages, these distinctions +would have made bad blood among us. As it was, nobody having reason +to complain of unjustly-diminished wages, nobody cared about any +preferences in which profit was not involved. + +The doctor must have gained a great deal of money by his skill as a +coiner. His profits in business could never have averaged less than five +hundred per cent; and, to do him justice, he was really a generous as +well as a rich master. + +Even I, as a new hand, was, in fair proportion, as well paid by the week +as the rest. + +We, of course, had nothing to do with the passing of false money--we +only manufactured it (sometimes at the rate of four hundred pounds' +worth in a week); and left its circulation to be managed by our +customers in London and the large towns. Whatever we paid for in +Barkingham was paid for in the genuine Mint coinage. I used often +to compare my own true guineas, half-crowns and shillings with our +imitations under the doctor's supervision, and was always amazed at the +resemblance. Our scientific chief had discovered a process something +like what is called electrotyping nowadays, as I imagine. He was very +proud of this; but he was prouder still of the ring of his metal, and +with reason: it must have been a nice ear indeed that could discover the +false tones in the doctor's coinage. + +If I had been the most scrupulous man in the world, I must still have +received my wages, for the very necessary purpose of not appearing to +distinguish myself invidiously from my fellow-workmen. Upon the whole, +I got on well with them. Old File and I struck up quite a friendship. +Young File and Mill worked harmoniously with me, but Screw and I (as I +had foreboded) quarreled. + +This last man was not on good terms with his fellows, and had less of +the doctor's confidence than any of the rest of us. Naturally not of a +sweet temper, his isolated position in the house had soured him, and he +rashly attempted to vent his ill-humor on me, as a newcomer. For some +days I bore with him patiently; but at last he got the better of my +powers of endurance; and I gave him a lesson in manners, one day, on the +educational system of Gentleman Jones. He did not return the blow, or +complain to the doctor; he only looked at me wickedly, and said: "I'll +be even with you for that, some of these days." I soon forgot the words +and the look. + +With Old File, as I have said, I became quite friendly. Excepting the +secrets of our prison-house, he was ready enough to talk on subjects +about which I was curious. + +He had known his present master as a young man, and was perfectly +familiar with all the events of his career. From various conversations, +at odds and ends of spare time, I discovered that Doctor Dulcifer had +begun life as a footman in a gentleman's family; that his young mistress +had eloped with him, taking away with her every article of value that +was her own personal property, in the shape of jewelry and dresses; that +they had lived upon the sale of these things for some time; and that +the husband, when the wife's means were exhausted, had turned +strolling-player for a year or two. Abandoning that pursuit, he had +next become a quack-doctor, first in a resident, then in a vagabond +capacity--taking a medical degree of his own conferring, and holding to +it as a good traveling title for the rest of his life. From the selling +of quack medicines he had proceeded to the adulterating of foreign +wines, varied by lucrative evening occupation in the Paris gambling +houses. On returning to his native land, he still continued to turn his +chemical knowledge to account, by giving his services to that particular +branch of our commercial industry which is commonly described as the +adulteration of commodities; and from this he had gradually risen to +the more refined pursuit of adulterating gold and silver--or, to use the +common phrase again, making bad money. + +According to Old File's statement, though Doctor Dulcifer had never +actually ill-used his wife, he had never lived on kind terms with her: +the main cause of the estrangement between them, in later years, being +Mrs. Dulcifer's resolute resistance to her husband's plans for emerging +from poverty, by the simple process of coining his own money. The poor +woman still held fast by some of the principles imparted to her in +happier days; and she was devotedly fond of her daughter. At the time +of her sudden death, she was secretly making arrangements to leave +the doctor, and find a refuge for herself and her child in a foreign +country, under the care of the one friend of her family who had not cast +her off. Questioning my informant about Alicia next, I found that he +knew very little about her relations with her father in later years. +That she must long since have discovered him to be not quite so +respectable a man as he looked, and that she might suspect something +wrong was going on in the house at the present time, were, in Old File's +opinion, matters of certainty; but that she knew anything positively on +the subject of her father's occupations, he seemed to doubt. The doctor +was not the sort of man to give his daughter, or any other woman, the +slightest chance of surprising his secrets. + +These particulars I gleaned during one long month of servitude and +imprisonment in the fatal red-brick house. + +During all that time not the slightest intimation reached me of Alicia's +whereabouts. Had she forgotten me? I could not believe it. Unless +the dear brown eyes were the falsest hypocrites in the world, it was +impossible that she should have forgotten me. Was she watched? Were all +means of communicating with me, even in secret, carefully removed from +her? I looked oftener and oftener into the doctor's study as those +questions occurred to me; but he never quitted it without locking the +writing-desk first--he never left any papers scattered on the table, and +he was never absent from the room at any special times and seasons that +could be previously calculated upon. I began to despair, and to feel +in my lonely moments a yearning to renew that childish experiment of +crying, which I have already adverted to, in the way of confession. +Moralists will be glad to hear that I really suffered acute mental +misery at this time of my life. My state of depression would have +gratified the most exacting of Methodists; and my penitent face +would have made my fortune if I could only have been exhibited by a +reformatory association on the platform of Exeter Hall. + +How much longer was this to last? Whither should I turn my steps when I +regained my freedom? In what direction throughout all England should I +begin to look for Alicia? + +Sleeping and walking--working and idling--those were now my constant +thoughts. I did my best to prepare myself for every emergency that could +happen; I tried to arm myself beforehand against every possible accident +that could befall me. While I was still hard at work sharpening my +faculties and disciplining my energies in this way, an accident befell +the doctor, on the possibility of which I had not dared to calculate, +even in my most hopeful moments. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +ONE morning I was engaged in the principal workroom with my employer. We +were alone. Old File and his son were occupied in the garrets. Screw had +been sent to Barkingham, accompanied, on the usual precautionary plan, +by Mill. They had been gone nearly an hour when the doctor sent me into +the next room to moisten and knead up some plaster of Paris. While I was +engaged in this occupation, I suddenly heard strange voices in the large +workroom. My curiosity was instantly excited. I drew back the little +shutter from the peephole in the wall, and looked through it. + +I saw first my old enemy, Screw, with his villainous face much paler +than usual; next, two respectably-dressed strangers whom he appeared +to have brought into the room; and next to them Young File, addressing +himself to the doctor. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said my friend, the workman-like footman; "but +before these gentlemen say anything for themselves, I wish to explain, +as they seem strangers to you, that I only let them in after I had heard +them give the password. My instructions are to let anybody in on our +side of the door if they can give the password. No offense, sir, but I +want it to be understood that I have done my duty." + +"Quite right, my man," said the doctor, in his blandest manner. "You may +go back to your work." + +Young File left the room, with a scrutinizing look for the two strangers +and a suspicious frown for Screw. + +"Allow us to introduce ourselves," began the elder of the two strangers. + +"Pardon me for a moment," interposed the doctor. "Where is Mill?" he +added, turning to Screw. + +"Doing our errands at Barkingham," answered Screw, turning paler than +ever. + +"We happened to meet your two men, and to ask them the way to your +house," said the stranger who had just spoken. "This man, with a caution +that does him infinite credit, required to know our business before he +told us. We managed to introduce the password--'Happy-go-lucky'--into +our answer. This of course quieted suspicion; and he, at our request, +guided us here, leaving his fellow-workman, as he has just told you, to +do all errands at Barkingham." + +While these words were being spoken, I saw Screw's eyes wandering +discontentedly and amazedly round the room. He had left me in it with +the doctor before he went out: was he disappointed at not finding me in +it on his return? + +While this thought was passing through my mind, the stranger resumed his +explanations. + +"We are here," he said, "as agents appointed to transact private +business, out of London, for Mr. Manasseh, with whom you have dealings, +I think?" + +"Certainly," said the doctor, with a smile. + +"And who owes you a little account, which we are appointed to settle." + +"Just so!" remarked the doctor, pleasantly rubbing his hands one over +the other. "My good friend, Mr. Manasseh, does not like to trust the +post, I suppose? Very glad to make your acquaintance, gentlemen. Have +you got the little memorandum about you?" + +"Yes; but we think there is a slight inaccuracy in it. Have you any +objection to let us refer to your ledger?" + +"Not the least in the world. Screw, go down into my private laboratory, +open the table-drawer nearest the window, and bring up a locked book, +with a parchment cover, which you will find in it." + +As Screw obeyed I saw a look pass between him and the two strangers +which made me begin to feel a little uneasy. I thought the doctor +noticed it too; but he preserved his countenance, as usual, in a state +of the most unruffled composure. + +"What a time that fellow is gone!" he exclaimed gayly. "Perhaps I had +better go and get the book myself." + +The two strangers had been gradually lessening the distance between +the doctor and themselves, ever since Screw had left the room. The last +words were barely out of his mouth, before they both sprang upon him, +and pinioned his arms with their hands. + +"Steady, my fine fellow," said Mr. Manasseh's head agent. "It's no go. +We are Bow Street runners, and we've got you for coining." + +"Not a doubt of it," said the doctor, with the most superb coolness. +"You needn't hold me. I'm not fool enough to resist when I'm fairly +caught." + +"Wait till we've searched you; and then we'll talk about that," said the +runner.* + +The doctor submitted to the searching with the patience of a martyr. +No offensive weapon being found in his pockets, they allowed him to sit +down unmolested in the nearest chair. + +"Screw, I suppose?" said the doctor, looking inquiringly at the +officers. + +"Exactly," said the principal man of the two. "We have been secretly +corresponding with him for weeks past. We have nabbed the man who went +out with him, and got him safe at Barkingham. Don't expect Screw back +with the ledger. As soon as he has made sure that the rest of you are in +the house, he is to fetch another man or two of our Bow Street lot, who +are waiting outside till they hear from us. We only want an old man and +a young one, and a third pal of yours who is a gentleman born, to make +a regular clearance in the house. When we have once got you all, it +will be the prettiest capture that's ever been made since I was in the +force." + +What the doctor answered to this I cannot say. Just as the officer had +done speaking, I heard footsteps approaching the room in which I was +listening. Was Screw looking for me? I instantly closed the peephole +and got behind the door. It opened back upon me, and, sure enough, Screw +entered cautiously. + +An empty old wardrobe stood opposite the door. Evidently suspecting +that I might have taken the alarm and concealed myself inside it, he +approached it on tiptoe. On tiptoe also I followed him; and, just as his +hands were on the wardrobe door, my hands were on his throat. He was +a little man, and no match for me. I easily and gently laid him on his +back, in a voiceless and half-suffocated state--throwing myself right +over him, to keep his legs quiet. When I saw his face getting black, and +his small eyes growing largely globular, I let go with one hand, crammed +my empty plaster of Paris bag, which lay close by, into his mouth, +tied it fast, secured his hands and feet, and then left him perfectly +harmless, while I took counsel with myself how best to secure my own +safety. + +I should have made my escape at once; but for what I heard the officer +say about the men who were waiting outside. Were they waiting near or +at a distance? Were they on the watch at the front or the back of +the house? I thought it highly desirable to give myself a chance of +ascertaining their whereabouts from the talk of the officers in the +next room, before I risked the possibility of running right into their +clutches on the outer side of the door. + +I cautiously opened the peephole once more. + +The doctor appeared to be still on the most friendly terms with his +vigilant guardians from Bow Street. + +"Have you any objection to my ringing for some lunch, before we are +all taken off to London together?" I heard him ask in his most cheerful +tones. "A glass of wine and a bit of bread and cheese won't do you any +harm, gentlemen, if you are as hungry as I am." + +"If you want to eat and drink, order the victuals at once," replied one +of the runners, sulkily. "We don't happen to want anything ourselves." + +"Sorry for it," said the doctor. "I have some of the best old Madeira in +England." + +"Like enough," retorted the officer sarcastically. "But you see we are +not quite such fools as we look; and we have heard of such a thing, in +our time, as hocussed wine." + +"O fie! fie!" exclaimed the doctor merrily. "Remember how well I am +behaving myself, and don't wound my feelings by suspecting me of such +shocking treachery as that!" + +He moved to a corner of the room behind him, and touched a knob in the +wall which I had never before observed. A bell rang directly, which had +a new tone in it to my ears. + +"Too bad," said the doctor, turning round again to the runners; "really +too bad, gentlemen, to suspect me of that!" + +Shaking his head deprecatingly, he moved back to the corner, pulled +aside something in the wall, disclosed the mouth of a pipe which was a +perfect novelty to me, and called down it. + +"Moses!" + +It was the first time I had heard that name in the house. + +"Who is Moses?" inquired the officers both together, advancing on him +suspiciously. + +"Only my servant," answered the doctor. He turned once more to the pipe, +and called down it: + +"Bring up the Stilton Cheese, and a bottle of the Old Madeira." + +The cheese we had in use at that time was of purely Dutch extraction. +I remembered Port, Sherry, and Claret in my palmy dinner-days at +the doctor's family-table; but certainly not Old Madeira. Perhaps +he selfishly kept his best wine and his choicest cheese for his own +consumption. + +"Sam," said one of the runners to the other, "you look to our civil +friend here, and I'll grab Moses when he brings up the lunch." + +"Would you like to see what the operation of coining is, while my man +is getting the lunch ready?" said the doctor. "It may be of use to me +at the trial, if you can testify that I afforded you every facility +for finding out anything you might want to know. Only mention my polite +anxiety to make things easy and instructive from the very first, and +I may get recommended to mercy. See here--this queer-looking machine, +gentlemen (from which two of my men derive their nicknames), is what we +call a Mill-and-Screw." + +He began to explain the machine with the manner and tone of a lecturer +at a scientific institution. In spite of themselves, the officers burst +out laughing. I looked round at Screw as the doctor got deeper into his +explanations. The traitor was rolling his wicked eyes horribly at me. +They presented so shocking a sight, that I looked away again. What was I +to do next? The minutes were getting on, and I had not heard a word +yet, through the peephole, on the subject of the reserve of Bow Street +runners outside. Would it not be best to risk everything, and get away +at once by the back of the house? + +Just as I had resolved on venturing the worst, and making my escape +forthwith, I heard the officers interrupt the doctor's lecture. + +"Your lunch is a long time coming," said one of them. + +"Moses is lazy," answered the doctor; "and the Madeira is in a remote +part of the cellar. Shall I ring again?" + +"Hang your ringing again!" growled the runner, impatiently. "I don't +understand why our reserve men are not here yet. Suppose you go and give +them a whistle, Sam." + +"I don't half like leaving you," returned Sam. "This learned gentleman +here is rather a shifty sort of chap; and it strikes me that two of us +isn't a bit too much to watch him." + +"What's that?" exclaimed Sam's comrade, suspiciously. + +A crash of broken crockery in the lower part of the house had followed +that last word of the cautious officer's speech. Naturally, I could draw +no special inference from the sound; but, for all that, it filled me +with a breathless interest and suspicion, which held me irresistibly at +the peephole--though the moment before I had made up my mind to fly from +the house. + +"Moses is awkward as well as lazy," said the doctor. "He has dropped the +tray! Oh, dear, dear me! he has certainly dropped the tray." + +"Let's take our learned friend downstairs between us," suggested Sam. "I +shan't be easy till we've got him out of the house." + +"And I shan't be easy if we don't handcuff him before we leave the +room," returned the other. + +"Rude conduct, gentlemen--after all that has passed, remarkably rude +conduct," said the doctor. "May I, at least, get my hat while my hands +are at liberty? It hangs on that peg opposite to us." He moved toward it +a few steps into the middle of the room while he spoke. + +"Stop!" said Sam; "I'll get your hat for you. We'll see if there's +anything inside it or not, before you put it on." + +The doctor stood stockstill, like a soldier at the word, Halt. + +"And I'll get the handcuffs," said the other runner, searching his +coat-pockets. + +The doctor bowed to him assentingly and forgivingly. + +"Only oblige me with my hat, and I shall be quite ready for you," he +said--paused for one moment, then repeated the words, "Quite ready," in +a louder tone--and instantly disappeared through the floor! + +I saw the two officers rush from opposite ends of the room to a great +opening in the middle of it. The trap-door on which the doctor had been +standing, and on which he had descended, closed up with a bang at the +same moment; and a friendly voice from the lower regions called out +gayly, "Good-by!" + +The officers next made for the door of the room. It had been locked from +the other side. As they tore furiously at the handle, the roll of the +wheels of the doctor's gig sounded on the drive in front of the house; +and the friendly voice called out once more, "Good-by!" + +I waited just long enough to see the baffled officers unbarring the +window shutters for the purpose of giving the alarm, before I closed the +peephole, and with a farewell look at the distorted face of my prostrate +enemy, Screw, left the room. + +The doctor's study-door was open as I passed it on my way downstairs. +The locked writing-desk, which probably contained the only clew to +Alicia's retreat that I was likely to find, was in its usual place on +the table. There was no time to break it open on the spot. I rolled it +up in my apron, took it off bodily under my arm, and descended to the +iron door on the staircase. Just as I was within sight of it, it was +opened from the landing on the other side. I turned to run upstairs +again, when a familiar voice cried, "Stop!" and looking round, I beheld +Young File. + +"All right!" he said. "Father's off with the governor in the gig, and +the runners in hiding outside are in full cry after them. If Bow Street +can get within pistol-shot of the blood mare, all I can say is, I give +Bow Street full leave to fire away with both barrels! Where's Screw?" + +"Gagged by me in the casting-room." + +"Well done, you! Got all your things, I see, under your arm? Wait two +seconds while I grab my money. Never mind the rumpus upstairs--there's +nobody outside to help them; and the gate's locked, if there was." + +He darted past me up the stairs. I could hear the imprisoned officers +shouting for help from the top windows. Their reserve men must have been +far away, by this time, in pursuit of the gig; and there was not much +chance of their getting useful help from any stray countryman who might +be passing along the road, except in the way of sending a message to +Barkingham. Anyhow we were sure of a half hour to escape in, at the very +least. + +"Now then," said Young File, rejoining me; "let's be off by the back way +through the plantations. How came you to lay your lucky hands on Screw?" +he continued, when we had passed through the iron door, and had closed +it after us. + +"Tell me first how the doctor managed to make a hole in the floor just +in the nick of time." + +"What! did you see the trap sprung?" + +"I saw everything." + +"The devil you did! Had you any notion that signals were going on, all +the while you were on the watch? We have a regular set of them in case +of accidents. It's a rule that father, and me, and the doctor are +never to be in the workroom together--so as to keep one of us always at +liberty to act on the signals.--Where are you going to?" + +"Only to get the gardener's ladder to help us over the wall. Go on." + +"The first signal is a private bell--that means, _Listen at the pipe._ +The next is a call down the pipe for 'Moses'--that means, _Danger! Lock +the door._ 'Stilton Cheese' means, _Put the Mare to;_ and 'Old Madeira' +_Stand by the trap._ The trap works in that locked-up room you never got +into; and when our hands are on the machinery, we are awkward enough +to have a little accident with the luncheon tray. 'Quite Ready' is the +signal to lower the trap, which we do in the regular theater-fashion. We +lowered the doctor smartly enough, as you saw, and got out by the back +staircase. Father went in the gig, and I let them out and locked the +gates after them. Now you know as much as I've got breath to tell you." + +We scaled the wall easily by the help of the ladder. When we were down +on the other side, Young File suggested that the safest course for us +was to separate, and for each to take his own way. We shook hands and +parted. He went southward, toward London, and I went westward, toward +the sea-coast, with Doctor Dulcifer's precious writing-desk safe under +my arm. + + * The "Bow Street runners" of those days were the + predecessors of the detective police of the present time. + + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +FOR a couple of hours I walked on briskly, careless in what direction I +went, so long as I kept my back turned on Barkingham. + +By the time I had put seven miles of ground, according to my +calculations, between me and the red-brick house, I began to look upon +the doctor's writing-desk rather in the light of an incumbrance, and +determined to examine it without further delay. Accordingly I picked up +the first large stone I could find in the road, crossed a common, burst +through a hedge, and came to a halt, on the other side, in a thick wood. +Here, finding myself well screened from public view, I broke open the +desk with the help of the stone, and began to look over the contents. + +To my unspeakable disappointment I found but few papers of any kind +to examine. The desk was beautifully fitted with all the necessary +materials for keeping up a large correspondence; but there were not +more than half a dozen letters in it altogether. Four were on business +matters, and the other two were of a friendly nature, referring to +persons and things in which I did not feel the smallest interest. I +found besides half a dozen bills receipted (the doctor was a mirror of +punctuality in the payment of tradesmen), note and letter-paper of the +finest quality, clarified pens, a pretty little pin-cushion, two small +account-books filled with the neatest entries, and some leaves +of blotting-paper. Nothing else; absolutely nothing else, in the +treacherous writing-desk on which I had implicitly relied to guide me to +Alicia's hiding-place. + +I groaned in sheer wretchedness over the destruction of all my dearest +plans and hopes. If the Bow Street runners had come into the plantation +just as I had completed the rifling of the desk I think I should have +let them take me without making the slightest effort at escape. As it +was, no living soul appeared within sight of me. I must have sat at the +foot of a tree for full half an hour, with the doctor's useless bills +and letters before me, with my head in my hands, and with all my +energies of body and mind utterly crushed by despair. + +At the end of the half hour, the natural restlessness of my faculties +began to make itself felt. + +Whatever may be said about it in books, no emotion in this world ever +did, or ever will, last for long together. The strong feeling may return +over and over again; but it must have its constant intervals of change +or repose. In real life the bitterest grief doggedly takes its rest and +dries its eyes; the heaviest despair sinks to a certain level, and stops +there to give hope a chance of rising, in spite of us. Even the joy of +an unexpected meeting is always an imperfect sensation, for it never +lasts long enough to justify our secret anticipations--our happiness +dwindles to mere every-day contentment before we have half done with it. + +I raised my head, and gathered the bills and letters together, and stood +up a man again, wondering at the variableness of my own temper, at the +curious elasticity of that toughest of all the vital substances within +us, which we call Hope. "Sitting and sighing at the foot of this tree," +I thought, "is not the way to find Alicia, or to secure my own safety. +Let me circulate my blood and rouse my ingenuity, by taking to the road +again." + +Before I forced my way back to the open side of the hedge, I thought it +desirable to tear up the bills and letters, for fear of being traced by +them if they were found in the plantation. The desk I left where it was, +there being no name on it. The note-paper and pens I pocketed--forlorn +as my situation was, it did not authorize me to waste stationery. The +blotting-paper was the last thing left to dispose of: two neatly-folded +sheets, quite clean, except in one place, where the impression of a few +lines of writing appeared. I was about to put the blotting-paper into +my pocket after the pens, when something in the look of the writing +impressed on it, stopped me. + +Four blurred lines appeared of not more than two or three words each, +running out one beyond another regularly from left to right. Had the +doctor been composing poetry and blotting it in a violent hurry? At a +first glance, that was more than I could tell. The order of the written +letters, whatever they might be, was reversed on the face of the +impression taken of them by the blotting-paper. I turned to the other +side of the leaf. The order of the letters was now right, but the +letters themselves were sometimes too faintly impressed, sometimes +too much blurred together to be legible. I held the leaf up to the +light--and there was a complete change: the blurred letters grew +clearer, the invisible connecting lines appeared--I could read the words +from first to last. + +The writing must have been hurried, and it had to all appearance been +hurriedly dried toward the corner of a perfectly clean leaf of the +blotting-paper. After twice reading, I felt sure that I had made out +correctly the following address: + +Miss Giles, 2 Zion Place, Crickgelly, N. Wales. + +It was hard under the circumstances, to form an opinion as to the +handwriting; but I thought I could recognize the character of some of +the doctor's letters, even in the blotted impression of them. Supposing +I was right, who was Miss Giles? + +Some Welsh friend of the doctor's, unknown to me? Probably enough. But +why not Alicia herself under an assumed name? Having sent her from home +to keep her out of my way, it seemed next to a certainty that her father +would take all possible measures to prevent my tracing her, and would, +therefore, as a common act of precaution, forbid her to travel under her +own name. Crickgelly, North Wales, was assuredly a very remote place to +banish her to; but then the doctor was not a man to do things by halves: +he knew the lengths to which my cunning and resolution were capable of +carrying me; and he would have been innocent indeed if he had hidden his +daughter from me in any place within reasonable distance of Barkingham. +Last, and not least important, Miss Giles sounded in my ears exactly +like an assumed name. + +Was there ever any woman absolutely and literally named Miss Giles? +However I may have altered my opinion on this point since, my mind was +not in a condition at that time to admit the possible existence of any +such individual as a maiden Giles. Before, therefore, I had put the +precious blotting-paper into my pocket, I had satisfied myself that +my first duty, under all the circumstances, was to shape my flight +immediately to Crickgelly. I could be certain of nothing--not even +of identifying the doctor's handwriting by the impression on the +blotting-paper. But provided I kept clear of Barkingham, it was all +the same to me what part of the United Kingdom I went to; and, in +the absence of any actual clew to her place of residence, there was +consolation and encouragement even in following an imaginary trace. +My spirits rose to their natural height as I struck into the highroad +again, and beheld across the level plain the smoke, chimneys, and church +spires of a large manufacturing town. There I saw the welcome promise +of a coach--the happy chance of making my journey to Crickgelly easy and +rapid from the very outset. + +On my way to the town, I was reminded by the staring of all the people I +passed on the road, of one important consideration which I had hitherto +most unaccountably overlooked--the necessity of making some radical +change in my personal appearance. + +I had no cause to dread the Bow Street runners, for not one of them +had seen me; but I had the strongest possible reasons for distrusting a +meeting with my enemy, Screw. He would certainly be made use of by +the officers for the purpose of identifying the companions whom he had +betrayed; and I had the best reasons in the world to believe that he +would rather assist in the taking of me than in the capture of all the +rest of the coining gang put together--the doctor himself not excepted. +My present costume was of the dandy sort--rather shabby, but gay in +color and outrageous in cut. I had not altered it for an artisan's suit +in the doctor's house, because I never had any intention of staying +there a day longer than I could possibly help. The apron in which I had +wrapped the writing-desk was the only approach I had made toward wearing +the honorable uniform of the workingman. + +Would it be wise now to make my transformation complete, by adding to +the apron a velveteen jacket and a sealskin cap? No: my hands were +too white, my manners too inveterately gentleman-like, for all artisan +disguise. It would be safer to assume a serious character--to shave +off my whiskers, crop my hair, buy a modest hat and umbrella, and dress +entirely in black. At the first slopshop I encountered in the suburbs of +the town, I got a carpet-bag and a clerical-looking suit. At the first +easy shaving-shop I passed, I had my hair cropped and my whiskers taken +off. After that I retreated again to the country--walked back till I +found a convenient hedge down a lane off the highroad--changed my upper +garments behind it, and emerged, bashful, black, and reverend, with my +cotton umbrella tucked modestly under my arm, my eyes on the ground, my +head in the air, and my hat off my forehead. When I found two laborers +touching their caps to me on my way back to the town, I knew that it was +all right, and that I might now set the vindictive eyes of Screw himself +safely at defiance. + +I had not the most distant notion where I was when I reached the High +Street, and stopped at The Green Bull Hotel and Coach-office. However, +I managed to mention my modest wishes to be conveyed at once in the +direction of Wales, with no more than a becoming confusion of manner. + +The answer was not so encouraging as I could have wished. The coach to +Shrewsbury had left an hour before, and there would be no other public +conveyance running in my direct ion until the next morning. Finding +myself thus obliged to yield to adverse circumstances, I submitted +resignedly, and booked a place outside by the next day's coach, in the +name of the Reverend John Jones. I thought it desirable to be at once +unassuming and Welsh in the selection of a traveling name; and therefore +considered John Jones calculated to fit me, in my present emergency, to +a hair. + +After securing a bed at the hotel, and ordering a frugal curate's dinner +(bit of fish, two chops, mashed potatoes, semolina pudding, half-pint of +sherry), I sallied out to look at the town. + +Not knowing the name of it, and not daring to excite surprise by asking, +I found the place full of vague yet mysterious interest. Here I was, +somewhere in central England, just as ignorant of localities as if I had +been suddenly deposited in Central Africa. My lively fancy revelled in +the new sensation. I invented a name for the town, a code of laws +for the inhabitants, productions, antiquities, chalybeate springs, +population, statistics of crime, and so on, while I walked about the +streets, looked in at the shop-windows, and attentively examined the +Market-place and Town-hall. Experienced travelers, who have exhausted +all novelties, would do well to follow my example; they may be certain, +for one day at least, of getting some fresh ideas, and feeling a new +sensation. + +On returning to dinner in the coffee-room, I found all the London papers +on the table. + +The _Morning Post_ happened to lie uppermost, so I took it away to +my own seat to occupy the time, while my unpretending bit of fish was +frying. Glancing lazily at the advertisements on the first page, to +begin with, I was astonished by the appearance of the following lines, +at the top of a column: + + + +"If F-- --K S--FTL--Y will communicate with his distressed and alarmed +relatives, Mr. and Mrs. B--TT--RB--RY, he will hear of something to +his advantage, and may be assured that all will be once more forgiven. +A--B--LLA entreats him to write." + + + +What, in the name of all that is most mysterious, does this mean! was my +first thought after reading the advertisement. Can Lady Malkinshaw have +taken a fresh lease of that impregnable vital tenement, at the door of +which Death has been knocking vainly for so many years past? (Nothing +more likely.) Was my felonious connection with Doctor Dulcifer +suspected? (It seemed improbable.) One thing, however, was certain: I +was missed, and the Batterburys were naturally anxious about me--anxious +enough to advertise in the public papers. + +I debated with myself whether I should answer their pathetic appeal +or not. I had all my money about me (having never let it out of my own +possession during my stay in the red-brick house), and there was plenty +of it for the present; so I thought it best to leave the alarm and +distress of my anxious relatives unrelieved for a little while longer, +and to return quietly to the perusal of the _ Morning Post._ + +Five minutes of desultory reading brought me unexpectedly to an +explanation of the advertisement, in the shape of the following +paragraph: + + + +"ALARMING ILLNESS OF LADY MALKINSHAW.--We regret to announce that this +venerable lady was seized with an alarming illness on Saturday last, +at her mansion in town. The attack took the character of a fit--of what +precise nature we have not been able to learn. Her ladyship's medical +attendant and near relative, Doctor Softly, was immediately called +in, and predicted the most fatal results. Fresh medical attendance was +secured, and her ladyship's nearest surviving relatives, Mrs. Softly, +and Mr. and Mrs. Batterbury, of Duskydale Park, were summoned. At +the time of their arrival her ladyship's condition was comatose, her +breathing being highly stertorous. If we are rightly informed, Doctor +Softly and the other medical gentlemen present gave it as their opinion +that if the pulse of the venerable sufferer did not rally in the course +of a quarter of an hour at most, very lamentable results might be +anticipated. For fourteen minutes, as our reporter was informed, no +change took place; but, strange to relate, immediately afterward her +ladyship's pulse rallied suddenly in the most extraordinary manner. She +was observed to open her eyes very wide, and was heard, to the surprise +and delight of all surrounding the couch, to ask why her ladyship's +usual lunch of chicken-broth with a glass of Amontillado sherry was not +placed on the table as usual. These refreshments having been produced, +under the sanction of the medical gentlemen, the aged patient partook +of them with an appearance of the utmost relish. Since this happy +alteration for the better, her ladyship's health has, we rejoice to +say, rapidly improved; and the answer now given to all friendly +and fashionable inquirers is, in the venerable lady's own humorous +phraseology, 'Much better than could be expected.'" + + +Well done, my excellent grandmother! my firm, my unwearied, my undying +friend! Never can I say that my case is desperate while you can swallow +your chicken-broth and sip your Amontillado sherry. The moment I want +money, I will write to Mr. Batterbury, and cut another little golden +slice out of that possible three-thousand-pound-cake, for which he has +already suffered and sacrificed so much. In the meantime, O venerable +protectress of the wandering Rogue! let me gratefully drink your health +in the nastiest and smallest half-pint of sherry this palate ever +tasted, or these eyes ever beheld! + +I went to bed that night in great spirits. My luck seemed to be +returning to me; and I began to feel more than hopeful of really +discovering my beloved Alicia at Crickgelly, under the alias of Miss +Giles. + +The next morning the Rev. John Jones descended to breakfast so rosy, +bland, and smiling, that the chambermaids simpered as he tripped by +them in the passage, and the landlady bowed graciously as he passed +her parlor door. The coach drove up, and the reverend gentleman (after +waiting characteristically for the woman's ladder) mounted to his place +on the roof, behind the coachman. One man sat there who had got up +before him--and who should that man be, but the chief of the Bow Street +runners, who had rashly tried to take Doctor Dulcifer into custody! + +There could not be the least doubt of his identity; I should have known +his face again among a hundred. He looked at me as I took my place by +his side, with one sharp searching glance--then turned his head away +toward the road. Knowing that he had never set eyes on my face (thanks +to the convenient peephole at the red-brick house), I thought my meeting +with him was likely to be rather advantageous than otherwise. I had now +an opportunity of watching the proceedings of one of our pursuers, at +any rate--and surely this was something gained. + +"Fine morning, sir," I said politely. + +"Yes," he replied in the gruffest of monosyllables. + +I was not offended: I could make allowance for the feelings of a man who +had been locked up by his own prisoner. + +"Very fine morning, indeed," I repeated, soothingly and cheerfully. + +The runner only grunted this time. Well, well! we all have our little +infirmities. I don't think the worse of the man now, for having been +rude to me, that morning, on the top of the Shrewsbury coach. + +The next passenger who got up and placed himself by my side was a +florid, excitable, confused-looking gentleman, excessively talkative +and familiar. He was followed by a sulky agricultural youth in +top-boots--and then, the complement of passengers on our seat behind the +coachman was complete. + +"Heard the news, sir?" said the florid man, turning to me. + +"Not that I am aware of," I answered. + +"It's the most tremendous thing that has happened these fifty +years," said the florid man. "A gang of coiners, sir, discovered at +Barkingham--in a house they used to call the Grange. All the dreadful +lot of bad silver that's been about, they're at the bottom of. And the +head of the gang not taken!--escaped, sir, like a ghost on the stage, +through a trap-door, after actually locking the runners into his +workshop. The blacksmiths from Barkingham had to break them out; the +whole house was found full of iron doors, back staircases, and all that +sort of thing, just like the Inquisition. A most respectable man, the +original proprietor! Think what a misfortune to have let his house to a +scoundrel who has turned the whole inside into traps, furnaces, and iron +doors. The fellow's reference, sir, was actually at a London bank, where +he kept a first-rate account. What is to become of society? where is our +protection? Where are our characters, when we are left at the mercy of +scoundrels? The times are awful--upon my soul, the times we live in are +perfectly awful!" + +"Pray, sir, is there any chance of catching this coiner?" I inquired +innocently. + +"I hope so, sir; for the sake of outraged society, I hope so," said +the excitable man. "They've printed handbills at Barkingham, offering +a reward for taking him. I was with my friend the mayor, early this +morning, and saw them issued. 'Mr. Mayor,' says I, 'I'm going West--give +me a few copies--let me help to circulate them--for the sake of outraged +society, let me help to circulate them. Here they are--take a few, sir, +for distribution. You'll see these are three other fellows to be +caught besides the principal rascal--one of them a scamp belonging to +a respectable family. Oh! what times! Take three copies, and pray +circulate them in three influential quarters. Perhaps that gentleman +next you would like a few. Will you take three, sir?" + +"No, I won't," said the Bow Street runner doggedly. "Nor yet one of +'em--and it's my opinion that the coining-gang would be nabbed all the +sooner, if you was to give over helping the law to catch them." + +This answer produced a vehement expostulation from my excitable +neighbor, to which I paid little attention, being better engaged in +reading the handbill. + +It described the doctor's personal appearance with remarkable accuracy, +and cautioned persons in seaport towns to be on the lookout for him. Old +File, Young File, and myself were all dishonorably mentioned together +in a second paragraph, as runaways of inferior importance Not a word was +said in the handbill to show that the authorities at Barkingham even so +much as suspected the direction in which any one of us had escaped. This +would have been very encouraging, but for the presence of the runner +by my side, which looked as if Bow Street had its suspicions, however +innocent Barkingham might be. + +Could the doctor have directed his flight toward Crickgelly? I trembled +internally as the question suggested itself to me. Surely he would +prefer writing to Miss Giles to join him when he got to a safe place of +refuge, rather than encumber himself with the young lady before he was +well out of reach of the far-stretching arm of the law. This seemed +infinitely the most natural course of conduct. Still, there was the +runner traveling toward Wales--and not certainly without a special +motive. I put the handbills in my pocket, and listened for any hints +which might creep out in his talk; but he perversely kept silent. +The more my excitable neighbor tried to dispute with him, the more +contemptuously he refused to break silence. I began to feel vehemently +impatient for our arrival at Shrewsbury; for there only could I hope to +discover something more of my formidable fellow-traveler's plans. + +The coach stopped for dinner; and some of our passengers left us, the +excitable man with the handbills among the number. I got down, and stood +on the doorstep of the inn, pretending to be looking about me, but in +reality watching the movements of the runner. + +Rather to my surprise, I saw him go to the door of the coach and speak +to one of the inside passengers. After a short conversation, of which I +could not hear one word, the runner left the coach door and entered +the inn, called for a glass of brandy and water, and took it out to +his friend, who had not left the vehicle. The friend bent forward to +receive it at the window. I caught a glimpse of his face, and felt my +knees tremble under me--it was Screw himself! + +Screw, pale and haggard-looking, evidently not yet recovered from the +effect of my grip on his throat! Screw, in attendance on the runner, +traveling inside the coach in the character of an invalid. He must be +going this journey to help the Bow Street officers to identify some one +of our scattered gang of whom they were in pursuit. It could not be the +doctor--the runner could discover him without assistance from anybody. +Why might it not be me? + +I began to think whether it would be best to trust boldly in my +disguise, and my lucky position outside the coach, or whether I should +abandon my fellow-passengers immediately. It was not easy to settle at +once which course was the safest--so I tried the effect of looking at my +two alternatives from another point of view. Should I risk everything, +and go on resolutely to Crickgelly, on the chance of discovering that +Alicia and Miss Giles were one and the same person--or should I give up +on the spot the only prospect of finding my lost mistress, and direct my +attention entirely to the business of looking after my own safety? + +As the latter alternative practically resolved itself into the simple +question of whether I should act like a man who was in love, or like a +man who was not, my natural instincts settled the difficulty in no time. +I boldly imitated the example of my fellow-passengers, and went in to +dinner, determined to go on afterward to Crickgelly, though all Bow +Street should be following at my heels. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +SECURE as I tried to feel in my change of costume, my cropped hair, and +my whiskerless cheeks, I kept well away from the coach-window, when the +dinner at the inn was over and the passengers were called to take their +places again. Thus far--thanks to the strength of my grasp on his +neck, which had left him too weak to be an outside passenger--Screw had +certainly not seen me; and, if I played my cards properly, there was no +reason why he should see me before we got to our destination. + +Throughout the rest of the journey I observed the strictest caution, and +fortune seconded my efforts. It was dark when we got to Shrewsbury. On +leaving the coach I was enabled, under cover of the night, to keep a +sharp watch on the proceedings of Screw and his Bow Street ally. They +did not put up at the hotel, but walked away to a public house. There, +my clerical character obliged me to leave them at the door. + +I returned to the hotel, to make inquiries about conveyances. + +The answers informed me that Crickgelly was a little fishing-village, +and that there was no coach direct to it, but that two coaches running +to two small Welsh towns situated at nearly equal distances from my +destination, on either side of it, would pass through Shrewsbury +the next morning. The waiter added, that I could book a +place--conditionally--by either of these vehicles; and that, as they +were always well-filled, I had better be quick in making my choice +between them. Matters had now arrived at such a pass, that nothing was +left for me but to trust to chance. If I waited till the morning to see +whether Screw and the Bow Street runner traveled in my direction, and to +find out, in case they did, which coach they took, I should be running +the risk of losing a place for myself, and so delaying my journey for +another day. This was not to be thought of. I told the waiter to book me +a place in which coach he pleased. The two were called respectively The +Humming Bee, and The Red Cross Knight. The waiter chose the latter. + +Sleep was not much in my way that night. I rose almost as early as Boots +himself--breakfasted--then sat at the coffee-room window looking out +anxiously for the two coaches. + +Nobody seemed to agree which would pass first. Each of the inn servants +of whom I inquired made it a matter of partisanship, and backed his +favorite coach with the most consummate assurance. At last, I heard the +guard's horn and the clatter of the horses' hoofs. Up drove a coach--I +looked out cautiously--it was the Humming Bee. Three outside places were +vacant; one behind the coachman; two on the dickey. The first was taken +immediately by a farmer, the second---to my unspeakable disgust and +terror--was secured by the inevitable Bow Street runner; who, as soon as +h e was up, helped the weakly Screw into the third place, by his side. +They were going to Crickgelly; not a doubt of it, now. + +I grew mad with impatience for the arrival of the Red Cross Knight. +Half-an-hour passed--forty minutes--and then I heard another horn and +another clatter--and the Red Cross Knight rattled up to the hotel door +at full speed. What if there should be no vacant place for me! I ran +to the door with a sinking heart. Outside, the coach was declared to be +full. + +"There is one inside place," said the waiter, "if you don't mind paying +the--" + +Before he could say the rest, I was occupying that one inside place. I +remember nothing of the journey from the time we left the hotel door, +except that it was fearfully long. At some hour of the day with which I +was not acquainted (for my watch had stopped for want of winding up), I +was set down in a clean little street of a prim little town (the name of +which I never thought of asking), and was told that the coach never went +any further. + +No post-chaise was to be had. With incredible difficulty I got first a +gig, then a man to drive it; and, last, a pony to draw it. We hobbled +away crazily from the inn door. I thought of Screw and the Bow Street +runner approaching Crickgelly, from their point of the compass, perhaps +at the full speed of a good post-chaise--I thought of that, and would +have given all the money in my pocket for two hours' use of a fast +road-hack. + +Judging by the time we occupied in making the journey, and a little also +by my own impatience, I should say that Crickgelly must have been at +least twenty miles distant from the town where I took the gig. The sun +was setting, when we first heard, through the evening stillness, the +sound of the surf on the seashore. The twilight was falling as we +entered the little fishing village, and let our unfortunate pony stop, +for the last time, at a small inn door. + +The first question I asked of the landlord was, whether two gentlemen +(friends of mine, of course, whom I expected to meet) had driven into +Crickgelly, a little while before me. The reply was in the negative; +and the sense of relief it produced seemed to rest me at once, body and +mind, after my long and anxious journey. Either I had beaten the spies +on the road, or they were not bound to Crickgelly. Any way, I had first +possession of the field of action. I paid the man who had driven me, and +asked my way to Zion Place. My directions were simple--I had only to go +through the village, and I should find Zion Place at the other end of +it. + +The village had a very strong smell, and a curious habit of building +boats in the street between intervals of detached cottages; a helpless, +muddy, fishy little place. I walked through it rapidly; turned inland +a few hundred yards; ascended some rising ground; and discerned, in the +dim twilight, four small lonesome villas standing in pairs, with a shed +and a saw-pit on one side, and a few shells of unfinished houses on +the other. Some madly speculative builder was evidently trying to turn +Crickgelly into a watering-place. + +I made out Number Two, and discovered the bell-handle with difficulty, +it was growing so dark. A servant-maid--corporeally enormous; but, as I +soon found, in a totally undeveloped state, mentally--opened the door. + +"Does Miss Giles live here?" I asked. + +"Don't see no visitors," answered the large maiden. "'T'other one tried +it and had to go away. You go, too." + +"'T'othor one?" I repeated. "Another visitor? And when did he call?" + +"Better than an hour ago." + +"Was there nobody with him?" + +"No. Don't see no visitors. He went. You go, too." + +Just as she repeated that exasperating formula of words, a door opened +at the end of the passage. My voice had evidently reached the ears of +somebody in the back parlor. Who the person was I could not see, but I +heard the rustle of a woman's dress. My situation was growing desperate, +my suspicions were aroused--I determined to risk everything--and I +called softly in the direction of the open door, "Alicia!" + +A voice answered, "Good heavens! Frank?" It was _her_ voice. She had +recognized mine. I pushed past the big servant; in two steps I was at +the end of the passage; in one more I was in the back parlor. + +She was there, standing alone by the side of a table. Seeing my changed +costume and altered face, she turned deadly pale, and stretched her hand +behind her mechanically, as if to take hold of a chair. I caught her +in my arms; but I was afraid to kiss her--she trembled so when I only +touched her. + +"Frank!" she said, drawing her head back. "What is it? How did you find +out? For mercy's sake what does it mean?" + +"It means, love, that I've come to take care of you for the rest of your +life and mine, if you will only let me. Don't tremble--there's nothing +to be afraid of! Only compose yourself, and I'll tell you why I am here +in this strange disguise. Come, come, Alicia!--don't look like that at +me. You called me Frank just now, for the first time. Would you have +done that, if you had disliked me or forgotten me?" + +I saw her color beginning to come back--the old bright glow returning to +the dear dusky cheeks. If I had not seen them so near me, I might have +exercised some self-control--as it was, I lost my presence of mind +entirely, and kissed her. + +She drew herself away half-frightened, half-confused--certainly not +offended, and, apparently, not very likely to faint--which was more than +I could have said of her when I first entered the room. Before she had +time to reflect on the peril and awkwardness of our position, I pressed +the first necessary questions on her rapidly, one after the other. + +"Where is Mrs. Baggs?" I asked first. + +Mrs. Baggs was the housekeeper. + +Alicia pointed to the closed folding-doors. "In the front parlor; asleep +on the sofa." + +"Have you any suspicion who the stranger was who called more than an +hour ago?" + +"None. The servant told him we saw no visitors, and he went away, +without leaving his name." + +"Have you heard from your father?" + +She began to turn pale again, but controlled herself bravely, and +answered in a whisper: + +"Mrs. Baggs had a short note from him this morning. It was not dated; +and it only said circumstances had happened which obliged him to leave +home suddenly, and that we were to wait here till be wrote again, most +likely in a few days." + +"Now, Alicia," I said, as lightly as I could, "I have the highest +possible opinion of your courage, good-sense, and self-control; and I +shall expect you to keep up your reputation in my eyes, while you are +listening to what I have to tell you." + +Saying these words, I took her by the hand and made her sit close by me; +then, breaking it to her as gently and gradually as possible, I told her +all that had happened at the red-brick house since the evening when +she left the dinner-table, and we exchanged our parting look at the +dining-room door. + +It was almost as great a trial to me to speak as it was to her to hear. +She suffered so violently, felt such evident misery of shame and terror, +while I was relating the strange events which had occurred in her +absence, that I once or twice stopped in alarm, and almost repented my +boldness in telling her the truth. However, fair-dealing with her, cruel +as it might seem at the time, was the best and safest course for the +future. How could I expect her to put all her trust in me if I began +by deceiving her--if I fell into prevarications and excuses at the very +outset of our renewal of intercourse? I went on desperately to the end, +taking a hopeful view of the most hopeless circumstances, and making my +narrative as mercifully short as possible. + +When I had done, the poor girl, in the extremity of her forlornness +and distress, forgot all the little maidenly conventionalities and +young-lady-like restraints of everyday life--and, in a burst of natural +grief and honest confiding helplessness, hid her face on my bosom, and +cried there as if she were a child again, and I was the mother to whom +she had been used to look for comfort. + +I made no attempt to stop her tears--they were the safest and best vent +for the violent agitation under which she was suffering. I said nothing; +words, at such a ti me as that, would only have aggravated her distress. +All the questions I had to ask; all the proposals I had to make, must, +I felt, be put off--no matter at what risk--until some later and calmer +hour. There we sat together, with one long unsnuffed candle lighting +us smokily; with the discordantly-grotesque sound of the housekeeper's +snoring in the front room, mingling with the sobs of the weeping girl on +my bosom. No other noise, great or small, inside the house or out of it, +was audible. The summer night looked black and cloudy through the little +back window. + +I was not much easier in my mind, now that the trial of breaking my bad +news to Alicia was over. That stranger who had called at the house an +hour before me, weighed on my spirits. It could not have been Doctor +Dulcifer. He would have gained admission. Could it be the Bow Street +runner, or Screw? I had lost sight of them, it is true; but had they +lost sight of me? + +Alicia's grief gradually exhausted itself. She feebly raised her head, +and, turning it away from me, hid her face. I saw that she was not fit +for talking yet, and begged her to go upstairs to the drawing-room and +lie down a little. She looked apprehensively toward the folding-doors +that shut us off from the front parlor. + +"Leave Mrs. Baggs to me," I said. "I want to have a few words with her; +and, as soon as you are gone, I'll make noise enough here to wake her." + +Alicia looked at me inquiringly and amazedly. I did not speak again. +Time was now of terrible importance to us--I gently led her to the door. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +As soon as I was alone, I took from my pocket one of the handbills which +my excitable fellow-traveler had presented to me, so as to have it ready +for Mrs. Baggs the moment we stood face to face. Armed with this ominous +letter of introduction, I kicked a chair down against the folding-doors, +by way of giving a preliminary knock to arouse the housekeeper's +attention. The plan was immediately successful. Mrs. Baggs opened the +doors of communication violently. A slight smell of spirits entered +the room, and was followed close by the housekeeper herself, with an +indignant face and a disordered head-dress. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--" she began; then stopped aghast, +looking at me in speechless astonishment. + +"I have been obliged to make a slight alteration in my personal +appearance, ma'am," I said. "But I am still Frank Softly." + +"Don't talk to me about personal appearances, sir," cried Mrs. +Baggs recovering. "What do you mean by being here? Leave the house +immediately. I shall write to the doctor, Mr. Softly, this very night." + +"He has no address you can direct to," I rejoined. "If you don't believe +me, read that." I gave her the handbill without another word of preface. + +Mrs. Baggs looked at it--lost in an instant some of the fine color +plentifully diffused over her face by sleep and spirits--sat down in the +nearest chair with a thump that seemed to threaten the very foundations +of Number Two, Zion Place--and stared me hard in the face; the most +speechless and helpless elderly female I ever beheld. + +"Take plenty of time to compose yourself ma'am," I said. "If you don't +see the doctor again soon, under the gallows, you will probably not have +the pleasure of meeting with him for some considerable time." + +Mrs. Baggs smote both her hands distractedly on her knees, and whispered +a devout ejaculation to herself softly. + +"Allow me to deal with you, ma'am, as a woman of the world," I went on. +"If you will give me half-an-hour's hearing, I will explain to you how +I come to know what I do; how I got here; and what I have to propose to +Miss Alicia and to you." + +"If you have the feelings of a man, sir," said Mrs. Baggs, shaking her +head and raising her eyes to heaven, "you will remember that I have +nerves, and will not presume upon them." + +As the old lady uttered the last words, I thought I saw her eyes turn +from heaven, and take the earthly direction of the sofa in the front +parlor. It struck me also that her lips looked rather dry. Upon these +two hints I spoke. + +"Might I suggest some little stimulant?" I asked, with respectful +earnestness. "I have heard my grandmother (Lady Malkinshaw) say that, 'a +drop in time saves nine.'" + +"You will find it under the sofa pillow," said Mrs. Baggs, with sudden +briskness. "'A drop in time saves nine'--my sentiments, if I may put +myself on a par with her ladyship. The liqueur-glass, Mr. Softly, is +in the backgammon-board. I hope her ladyship was well the last time you +heard from her? Suffers from her nerves, does she? Like me, again. In +the backgammon-board. Oh, this news, this awful news!" + +I found the bottle of brandy in the place indicated, but no +liqueur-glass in the backgammon-board. There was, however, a wine-glass, +accidentally left on a chair by the sofa. Mrs. Baggs did not seem to +notice the difference when I brought it into the back room and filled it +with brandy. + +"Take a toothful yourself," said Mrs. Baggs, lightly tossing off the +dram in a moment. "'A drop in time'--I can't help repeating it, it's +so nicely expressed. Still, with submission to her ladyship's better +judgment, Mr. Softly, the question seems now to arise, whether, if one +drop in time saves nine, two drops in time may not save eighteen." Here +Mrs. Baggs forgot her nerves and winked. I returned the wink and filled +the glass a second time. "Oh, this news, this awful news!" said Mrs. +Baggs, remembering her nerves again. + +Just then I thought I heard footsteps in front of the house, but, +listening more attentively, found that it had begun to rain, and that I +had been deceived by the pattering of the first heavy drops against +the windows. However, the bare suspicion that the same stranger who had +called already might be watching the house now, was enough to startle +me very seriously, and to suggest the absolute necessity of occupying +no more precious time in paying attention to the vagaries of Mrs. Baggs' +nerves. It was also of some importance that I should speak to her while +she was sober enough to understand what I meant in a general way. + +Feeling convinced that she was in imminent danger of becoming downright +drunk if I gave her another glass, I kept my hand on the bottle, and +forthwith told my story over again in a very abridged and unceremonious +form, and without allowing her one moment of leisure for comment on +my narrative, whether it might be of the weeping, winking, drinking, +groaning, or ejaculating kind. As I had anticipated, when I came to a +conclusion, and consequently allowed her an opportunity of saying a few +words, she affected to be extremely shocked and surprised at hearing of +the nature of her master's pursuits, and reproached me in terms of +the most vehement and virtuous indignation for incurring the guilt of +abetting them, even though I had done so from the very excusable motive +of saving my own life. Having a lively sense of the humorous, I was +necessarily rather amused by this; but I began to get a little surprised +as well, when we diverged to the subject of the doctor's escape, on +finding that Mrs. Baggs viewed the fact of his running away to some +hiding-place of his own in the light of a personal insult to his +faithful and attached housekeeper. + +"It shows a want of confidence in me," said the old lady, "which I +may forgive, but can never forget. The sacrifices I have made for that +ungrateful man are not to be told in words. The very morning he sent +us away here, what did I do? Packed up the moment he said Go. I had my +preserves to pot, and the kitchen chimney to be swept, and the lock of +my box hampered into the bargain. Other women in my place would have +grumbled--I got up directly, as lively as any girl of eighteen you like +to mention. Says he, 'I want Alicia taken out of young Softly's way, +and you must do it.'---Says I, 'This very morning, sir?'--Says he, 'This +very morning.'--Says I, 'Where to?'--Says he, 'As far off as ever you +can go; coast of Wales--Crickgelly. I won't trust her nearer; young +Softly's too cunning, and she's too fond of him.'--'Any more orders, +sir?' says I.--'Yes; take some fancy name--Simkins, Johnson, Giles, +Jones, James,' says he, 'what you like bu t Dulcifer; for that scamp +Softly will move heaven and earth to trace her.'--'What else?' says +I.--'Nothing, but look sharp,' says he; 'and mind one thing, that she +sees no visitors, and posts no letters.' Before those last words had +been out of his wicked lips an hour, we were off. A nice job I had to +get her away--a nice job to stop her from writing letters to you--a nice +job to keep her here. But I did it; I followed my orders like a slave +in a plantation with a whip at his bare back. I've had rheumatics, weak +legs, bad nights, and miss in the sulks--all from obeying the doctor's +orders. And what is my reward? He turns coiner, and runs away without a +word to me beforehand, and writes me a trumpery note, without a date to +it, without a farthing of money in it, telling me nothing! Look at my +confidence in him, and then look at the way he's treated me in return. +What woman's nerves can stand that? Don't keep fidgeting with the +bottle! Pass it this way, Mr. Softly, or you'll break it, and drive me +distracted." + +"He has no excuse, ma'am," I said. "But will you allow me to change the +subject, as I am pressed for time? You appear to be so well acquainted +with the favorable opinion which Miss Alicia and I entertain of each +other, that I hope it will be no fresh shock to your nerves, if I inform +you, in plain words, that I have come to Crickgelly to marry her." + +"Marry her! marry--If you don't leave off fidgeting with the bottle, Mr. +Softly, and change the subject directly, I shall ring the bell." + +"Hear me out, ma'am, and then ring if you like. If you persist, however, +in considering yourself still the confidential servant of a felon who is +now flying for his life, and if you decline allowing the young lady to +act as she wishes, I will not be so rude as to hint that--as she is of +age--she may walk out of this house with me, whenever she likes, without +your having the power to prevent her; but, I will politely ask instead, +what you would propose to do with her, in the straitened position as to +money in which she and you are likely to be placed? You can't find +her father to give her to; and, if you could, who would be the best +protector for her? The doctor, who is the principal criminal in the eye +of the law, or I, who am only the unwilling accomplice? He is known to +the Bow Street runners--I am not. There is a reward for the taking of +him, and none for the taking of me. He has no respectable relatives +and friends, I have plenty. Every way my chances are the best; and +consequently I am, every way, the fittest person to trust her to. Don't +you see that?" + +Mrs. Baggs did not immediately answer. She snatched the bottle out of +my hands--drank off another dram, shook her head at me, and ejaculated +lamentably: "My nerves, my nerves! what a heart of stone he must have to +presume on my poor nerves!" + +"Give me one minute more," I went on. "I propose to take you and Alicia +to-morrow morning to Scotland. Pray don't groan! I only suggest the +journey with a matrimonial object. In Scotland, Mrs. Baggs, if a man and +woman accept each other as husband and wife, before one witness, it is a +lawful marriage; and that kind of wedding is, as you see plainly enough, +the only safe refuge for a bridegroom in my situation. If you consent to +come with us to Scotland, and serve as witness to the marriage, I shall +be delighted to acknowledge my sense of your kindness in the eloquent +language of the Bank of England, as expressed to the world in general on +the surface of a five-pound note." + +I cautiously snatched away the brandy bottle as I spoke, and was in the +drawing-room with it in an instant. As I suppose, Mrs. Baggs tried to +follow me, for I heard the door rattle, as if she had got out of her +chair, and suddenly slipped back into it again. I felt certain of her +deciding to help us, if she was only sober enough to reflect on what I +had said to her. The journey to Scotland was a tedious, and perhaps a +dangerous, undertaking. But I had no other alternative to choose. + +In those uncivilized days, the Marriage Act had not been passed, and +there was no convenient hymeneal registrar in England to change a +vagabond runaway couple into a respectable man and wife at a moment's +notice. The trouble and expense of taking Mrs. Baggs with us, I +encountered, of course, solely out of regard for Alicia's natural +prejudices. She had led precisely that kind of life which makes +any woman but a bad one morbidly sensitive on the subject of small +proprieties. If she had been a girl with a recognized position in +society, I should have proposed to her to run away with me alone. As it +was, the very defenselessness of her situation gave her, in my opinion, +the right to expect from me even the absurdest sacrifices to the +narrowest conventionalities. Mrs. Baggs was not quite so sober in her +habits, perhaps, as matrons in general are expected to be; but, for my +particular purpose, this was only a slight blemish; it takes so little, +after all, to represent the abstract principle of propriety in the +short-sighted eye of the world. + +As I reached the drawing-room door, I looked at my watch. + +Nine o'clock! and nothing done yet to facilitate our escaping from +Crickgelly to the regions of civilized life the next morning. I was +pleased to hear, when I knocked at the door, that Alicia's voice sounded +firmer as she told me to come in. She was more confused than astonished +or frightened when I sat down by her on the sofa, and repeated the +principal topics of my conversion with Mrs. Baggs. + +"Now, my own love," I said, in conclusion--suiting my gestures, it is +unnecessary to say, to the tenderness of my language--"there is not +the least doubt that Mrs. Baggs will end by agreeing to my proposals. +Nothing remains, therefore, but for you to give me the answer now, which +I have been waiting for ever since that last day when we met by the +riverside. I did not know then what the motive was for your silence and +distress. I know now, and I love you better after that knowledge than I +did before it." + +Her head dropped into its former position on my bosom, and she murmured +a few words, but too faintly for me to hear them. + +"You knew more about your father, then, than I did?" I whispered. + +"Less than you have told me since," she interposed quickly, without +raising her face. + +"Enough to convince you that he was breaking the laws," I suggested; +"and, to make you, as his daughter, shrink from saying 'yes' to me when +we sat together on the river bank?" + +She did not answer. One of her arms, which was hanging over my shoulder, +stole round my neck, and clasped it gently. + +"Since that time," I went on, "your father has compromised me. I am in +some danger, not much, from the law. I have no prospects that are not +of the most doubtful kind; and I have no excuse for asking you to share +them, except that I have fallen into my present misfortune through +trying to discover the obstacle that kept us apart. If there is any +protection in the world that you can turn to, less doubtful than mine, I +suppose I ought to say no more, and leave the house. But if there should +be none, surely I am not so very selfish in asking you to take your +chance with me? I honestly believe that I shall have little difficulty, +with ordinary caution, in escaping from pursuit, and finding a safe home +somewhere to begin life in again with new interests. Will you share +it with me, Alicia? I can try no fresh persuasions---I have no right, +perhaps, in my present situation to have addressed so many to you +already." + +Her other arm stole round my neck; she laid her cheek against mine, and +whispered-- + +"Be kind to me, Frank--I have nobody in the world who loves me but you!" + +I felt her tears on my face; my own eyes moistened as I tried to answer +her. We sat for some minutes in perfect silence--without moving, without +a thought beyond the moment. The rising of the wind, and the splashing +of the rain outside were the first sounds that stirred me into action +again. + +I summoned my resolution, rose from the sofa, and in a few hasty words +told Alicia what I proposed for the next day, and mentioned the hour at +which I would come in the morning. As I had anticipated, she seemed +relieved and reassured at the prospect even of such slight sanction and +encouragement, on the part of another woman, as would be implied by the +companionship of Mrs. Baggs on the journey to Scotland. + +The next and last difficulty I had to encounter was necessarily +connected with her father. He had never been very affectionate; and +he was now, for aught she or I knew to the contrary, parted from her +forever. Still, the instinctive recognition of his position made her +shrink, at the last moment, when she spoke of him, and thought of the +serious nature of her engagement with me. After some vain arguing and +remonstrating, I contrived to quiet her scruples, by promising that an +address should be left at Crickgelly, to which any second letter that +might arrive from the doctor could be forwarded. When I saw that this +prospect of being able to communicate with him, if he wrote or wished to +see her, had sufficiently composed her mind, I left the drawing-room. +It was vitally important that I should get back to the inn and make the +necessary arrangements for our departure the next morning, before the +primitive people of the place had retired to bed. + +As I passed the back parlor door on my way out, I heard the voice of +Mrs. Baggs raised indignantly. The words "bottle!" "audacity!" and +"nerves!" reached my ear disjointedly. I called out "Good-by! till +to-morrow;" heard a responsive groan of disgust; then opened the front +door, and plunged out into the dark and rainy night. + +It might have been the dropping of water from the cottage roofs while I +passed through the village, or the groundless alarm of my own suspicious +fancy, but I thought I was being followed as I walked back to the inn. +Two or three times I turned round abruptly. If twenty men had been at my +heels, it was too dark to see them. I went on to the inn. + +The people there were not gone to bed; and I sent for the landlord to +consult with him about a conveyance. Perhaps it was my suspicious fancy +again; but I thought his manner was altered. He seemed half distrustful, +half afraid of me, when I asked him if there had been any signs, during +my absence, of those two gentlemen, for whom I had already inquired on +arriving at his door that evening. He gave an answer in the negative, +looking away from me while he spoke. + +Thinking it advisable, on the whole, not to let him see that I noticed +a change in him, I proceeded at once to the question of the conveyance, +and was told that I could hire the landlord's light cart, in which he +was accustomed to drive to the market town. I appointed an hour for +starting the next day, and retired at once to my bedroom. There my +thoughts were enough. I was anxious about Screw and the Bow Street +runner. I was uncertain about the stranger who had called at Number Two, +Zion Place. I was in doubt even about the landlord of the inn. Never did +I know what real suffering from suspense was, until that night, Whatever +my apprehensions might have been, they were none of them realized the +next morning. + +Nobody followed me on my way to Zion Place, and no stranger had called +there before me a second time, when I made inquiries on entering the +house. I found Alicia blushing, and Mrs. Baggs impenetrably wrapped up +in dignified sulkiness. After informing me with a lofty look that +she intended to go to Scotland with us, and to take my five-pound +note--partly under protest, and partly out of excessive affection for +Alicia--she retired to pack up. The time consumed in performing this +process, and the further delay occasioned by paying small outstanding +debts to tradespeople, and settling with the owner of the house, +detained us till nearly noon before we were ready to get into the +landlord's cart. + +I looked behind me anxiously at starting, and often afterward on the +road; but never saw anything to excite my suspicions. In settling +matters with the landlord over night, I had arranged that we should be +driven to the nearest town at which a post-chaise could be obtained. +My resources were just as likely to hold out against the expenses of +posting, where public conveyances could not be obtained, as against the +expense of waiting privately at hotels, until the right coaches might +start. According to my calculations, my money would last till we got +to Scotland. After that, I had my watch, rings, shirtpin, and Mr. +Batterbury, to help in replenishing my purse. Anxious, therefore, as I +was about other things, money matters, for once in a way, did not cause +me the smallest uneasiness. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +WE posted five-and-thirty miles, then stopped for a couple of hours to +rest, and wait for a night coach running northward. + +On getting into this vehicle we were fortunate enough to find the fourth +inside place not occupied. Mrs. Baggs showed her sense of the freedom +from restraint thus obtained by tying a huge red comforter round her +head like a turban, and immediately falling fast asleep. This gave +Alicia and me full liberty to talk as we pleased. Our conversation was +for the most part of that particular kind which is not of the smallest +importance to any third person in the whole world. One portion of it, +however, was an exception to this general rule. It had a very positive +influence on my fortunes, and it is, therefore, I hope, of sufficient +importance to bear being communicated to the reader. + +We had changed horses for the fourth time, had seated ourselves +comfortably in our places, and had heard Mrs. Baggs resume the kindred +occupations of sleeping and snoring, when Alicia whispered to me: + +"I must have no secrets, now, from you--must I, Frank?" + +"You must have anything you like, do anything you like, and say anything +you like. You must never ask leave--but only grant it!" + +"Shall you always tell me that, Frank?" + +I did not answer in words, but the conversation suffered a momentary +interruption. Of what nature, susceptible people will easily imagine. As +for the hard-hearted I don't write for them. + +"My secret need not alarm you," Alicia went on, in tones that began to +sound rather sadly; "it is only about a tiny pasteboard box that I can +carry in the bosom of my dress. But it has got three diamonds in it, +Frank, and one beautiful ruby. Did you ever give me credit for having so +much that was valuable about me?--shall I give it you to keep for me?" + +I remembered directly Old File's story of Mrs. Dulcifer's elopement, and +of the jewels she had taken with her. It was easy to guess, after what I +had heard, that the poor woman had secretly preserved some of her little +property for the benefit of her child. + +"I have no present need of money, darling," I answered; "keep the box in +its present enviable position." I stopped there, saying nothing of the +thought that was really uppermost in my mind. If any unforeseen accident +placed me within the grip of the law, I should not now have the double +trial to endure of leaving my wife for a prison, and leaving her +helpless. + +Morning dawned and found us still awake. The sun rose, Mrs. Baggs left +off snoring, and we arrived at the last stage before the coach stopped. + +I got out to see about some tea for my traveling companions, and looked +up at the outside passengers. One of them seated in the dickey looked +down at me. He was a countryman in a smock-frock, with a green patch +over one of his eyes. Something in the expression of his uncovered eye +made me pause--reflect--turn away uneasily--and then look again at him +furtively. A sudden shudder ran through me from top to toe; my heart +sank; and my head began to feel giddy. The countryman in the dickey was +no other than the Bow Street runner in disguise. + +I kept away from the coach till the fresh horses were on the point of +starting, for I was afraid to let Alicia see my face, after making that +fatal discovery. She noticed how pale I was when I got in. I made the +best excuse I could; and gently insisted on her trying to sleep a little +after being awake all night. She lay back in her corner; and Mrs. Baggs, +comforted with a morning dram in her tea, fell asleep again. I had thus +an hour's leisure before me to think what I should do next. + +Screw was not in company with the runner this time. He must have managed +to identify me somewhere, and the officer doubtless knew my personal +appearance well enough now to follow and make sure of me without help. +That I was the man whom he was tracking could not be doubted: his +disguise and his position on the top of the coach proved it only too +plainly. + +But why had he not seized me at once? Probably because he had some +ulterior purpose to serve, which would have been thwarted by my +immediate apprehension. What that purpose was I did my best to fathom, +and, as I thought, succeeded in the attempt. What I was to do when the +coach stopped was a more difficult point to settle. To give the runner +the slip, with two women to take care of, was simply impossible. To +treat him, as I had treated Screw at the red-brick house, was equally +out of the question, for he was certain to give me no chance of catching +him alone. To keep him in ignorance of the real object of my journey, +and thereby to delay his discovering himself and attempting to make me a +prisoner, seemed the only plan on the safety of which I could place the +smallest reliance. If I had ever had any idea of following the example +of other runaway lovers, and going to Gretna Green, I should now have +abandoned it. All roads in that direction would betray what the purpose +of my journey was if I took them. Some large town in Scotland would be +the safest destination that I could publicly advertise myself as +bound for. Why not boldly say that I was going with the two ladies to +Edinburgh? + +Such was the plan of action which I now adopted. + +To give any idea of the distracted condition of my mind at the time when +I was forming it, is simply impossible. As for doubting whether I ought +to marry at all under these dangerous circumstances, I must frankly +own that I was too selfishly and violently in love to look the question +fairly in the face at first. When I subsequently forced myself to +consider it, the most distinct project I could frame for overcoming all +difficulty was, to marry myself (the phrase is strictly descriptive of +the Scotch ceremony) at the first inn we came to, over the Border; to +hire a chaise, or take places in a public conveyance to Edinburgh, as +a blind; to let Alicia and Mrs. Baggs occupy those places; to remain +behind myself; and to trust to my audacity and cunning, when left alone, +to give the runner the slip. Writing of it now, in cool blood, this +seems as wild and hopeless a plan as ever was imagined. But, in the +confused and distracted state of all my faculties at that period, it +seemed quite easy to execute, and not in the least doubtful as to any +one of its probable results. + +On reaching the town at which the coach stopped, we found ourselves +obliged to hire another chaise for a short distance, in order to get to +the starting-point of a second coach. Again we took inside places, +and again, at the first stages when I got down to look at the outside +passengers, there was the countryman with the green shade over his +eye. Whatever conveyance we traveled by on our northward road, we never +escaped him. He never attempted to speak to me, never seemed to notice +me, and never lost sight of me. On and on we went, over roads that +seemed interminable, and still the dreadful sword of justice hung +always, by its single hair, over my head. My haggard face, my feverish +hands, my confused manner, my inexpressible impatience, all belied the +excuses with which I desperately continued to ward off Alicia's growing +fears, and Mrs. Baggs's indignant suspicions. "Oh! Frank, something has +happened! For God's sake, tell me what!"--"Mr. Softly, I can see through +a deal board as far as most people. You are following the doctor's +wicked example, and showing a want of confidence in me." These were the +remonstrances of Alicia and the housekeeper. + +At last we got out of England, and I was still a free man. The chaise +(we were posting again) brought us into a dirty town, and drew up at the +door of a shabby inn. A shock-headed girl received us. + +"Are we in Scotland?" I asked. + +"Mon! whar' else should ye be?" The accent relieved me of all doubt. + +"A private room--something to eat, ready in an hour's time--chaise +afterward to the nearest place from which a coach runs to Edinburgh." +Giving these orders rapidly, I followed the girl with my traveling +companions into a stuffy little room. As soon as our attendant had left +us, I locked the door, put the key in my pocket, and took Alicia by the +hand. + +"Now, Mrs. Baggs," said I, "bear witness--" + +"You're not going to marry her now!" interposed Mrs. Baggs, indignantly. +"Bear witness, indeed! I won't bear witness till I've taken off my +bonnet, and put my hair tidy!" + +"The ceremony won't take a minute," I answered; "and I'll give you your +five-pound note and open the door the moment it's over. Bear witness," +I went on, drowning Mrs. Baggs's expostulations with the all-important +marriage-words, "that I take this woman, Alicia Dulcifer for my lawful +wedded wife." + +"In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth," broke in Mrs. Baggs, +determining to represent the clergyman as well as to be the witness. + +"Alicia, dear," I said, interrupting in my turn, "repeat my words. Say +'I take this man, Francis Softly, for my lawful wedded husband.'" + +She repeated the sentence, with her face very pale, with her dear hand +cold and trembling in mine. + +"For better for worse," continued the indomitable Mrs. Baggs. "Little +enough of the Better, I'm afraid, and Lord knows how much of the Worse." + +I stopped her again with the promised five-pound note, and opened the +room door. "Now, ma'am," I said, "go to your room; take off your bonnet, +and put your hair as tidy as you please." + +Mrs. Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven, exclaimed "Disgraceful!" +and flounced out of the room in a passion. Such was my Scotch +marriage--as lawful a ceremony, remember, as the finest family wedding +at the largest parish church in all England. + +An hour passed; and I had not yet summoned the cruel courage to +communicate my real situation to Alicia. The entry of the shock-headed +servant-girl to lay the cloth, followed by Mrs. Baggs, who was never out +of the way where eating and drinking appeared in prospect, helped me to +rouse myself. I resolved to go out for a few minutes to reconnoiter, and +make myself acquainted with any facilities for flight or hiding which +the situation of the house might present. No doubt the Bow Street runner +was lurking somewhere; but he must, as a matter of course, have +heard, or informed himself, of the orders I had given relating to our +conveyance on to Edinburgh; and, in that case, I was still no more in +danger of his avowing himself and capturing me, than I had been at any +previous period of our journey. + +"I am going out for a moment, love, to see about the chaise," I said +to Alicia. She suddenly looked up at me with an anxious searching +expression. Was my face betraying anything of my real purpose? I hurried +to the door before she could ask me a single question. + +The front of the inn stood nearly in the middle of the principal street +of the town. No chance of giving any one the slip in that direction; and +no sign, either, of the Bow Street runner. I sauntered round, with the +most unconcerned manner I could assume, to the back of the house, by the +inn yard. A door in one part of it stood half-open. Inside was a bit of +kitchen-garden, bounded by a paling; beyond that some backs of detached +houses; beyond them, again, a plot of weedy ground, a few wretched +cottages, and the open, heathery moor. Good enough for running away, but +terribly bad for hiding. + +I returned disconsolately to the inn. Walking along the passage toward +the staircase, I suddenly heard footsteps behind me--turned round, and +saw the Bow Street runner (clothed again in his ordinary costume, and +accompanied by two strange men) standing between me and the door. + +"Sorry to stop you from going to Edinburgh, Mr. Softly," he said. "But +you're wanted back at Barkingham. I've just found out what you have been +traveling all the way to Scotland for; and I take you prisoner, as one +of the coining gang. Take it easy, sir. I've got help, you see; and you +can't throttle three men, whatever you may have done at Barkingham with +one." + +He handcuffed me as he spoke. Resistance was hopeless. I could only make +an appeal to his mercy, on Alicia's account. + +"Give me ten minutes," I said, "to break what has happened to my wife. +We were only married an hour ago. If she knows this suddenly, it may be +the death of her." + +"You've led me a nice dance on a wrong scent," answered the runner, +sulkily. "But I never was a hard man where women are concerned. Go +upstairs, and leave the door open, so that I can see in through it if I +like. Hold your hat over your wrists, if you don't want her to see the +handcuffs." + +I ascended the first flight of stairs, and my heart gave a sudden bound +as if it would burst. I stopped, speechless and helpless, at the sight +of Alicia, standing alone on the landing. My first look at her face told +me she had heard all that had passed in the passage. She passionately +struck the hat with which I had been trying to hide the handcuffs out +of my fingers, and clasped me in her arms with such sudden and desperate +energy that she absolutely hurt me. + +"I was afraid of something, Frank," she whispered. "I followed you a +little way. I stopped here; I have heard everything. Don't let us be +parted! I am stronger than you think me. I won't be frightened. I won't +cry. I won't trouble anybody, if that man will only take me with you!" + +It is best for my sake, if not for the reader's, to hurry over the scene +that followed. + +It ended with as little additional wretchedness as could be expected. +The runner was resolute about keeping me handcuffed, and taking me +back, without a moment's unnecessary waste of time to Barkingham; but he +relented on other points. + +Where he was obliged to order a private conveyance, there was no +objection to Alicia and Mrs. Baggs following it. Where we got into a +coach, there was no harm in their hiring two inside places. I gave my +watch, rings, and last guinea to Alicia, enjoining her, on no account, +to let her box of jewels see the light until we could get proper advice +on the best means of turning them to account. She listened to these and +other directions with a calmness that astonished me. + +"You shan't say, my dear, that your wife has helped to make you uneasy +by so much as a word or a look," she whispered to me as we left the inn. + +And she kept the hard promise implied in that one short sentence +throughout the journey. Once only did I see her lose her +self-possession. At starting on our way south, Mrs. Baggs--taking the +same incomprehensible personal offense at my misfortune which she +had previously taken at the doctor's--upbraided me with my want of +confidence in her, and declared that it was the main cause of all my +present trouble. Alicia turned on her as she was uttering the words, +with a look and a warning that silenced her in an instant: + +"If you say another syllable that isn't kind to him, you shall find your +way back by yourself!" + +The words may not seem of much importance to others; but I thought, as +I overheard them, that they justified every sacrifice I had made for my +wife's sake. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +ON our way back I received from the runner some explanation of his +apparently unaccountable proceedings in reference to myself. + +To begin at the beginning, it turned out that the first act of the +officers, on their release from the workroom in the red-brick house, +was to institute a careful search for papers in the doctor's study and +bedroom. Among the other documents that he had not had time to destroy, +was a letter to him from Alicia, which they took from one of the pockets +of his dressing-gown. Finding, from the report of the men who had +followed the gig, that he had distanced all pursuit, and having +therefore no direct clew to his whereabout, they had been obliged to +hunt after him in various directions, on pure speculation. Alicia's +letter to her father gave the address of the house at Crickgelly; and to +this the runner repaired, on the chance of intercepting or discovering +any communications which the doctor might make to his daughter, Screw +being taken with the officer to identify the young lady. After leaving +the last coach, they posted to within a mile of Crickgelly, and then +walked into the village, in order to excite no special attention, +should the doctor be lurking in the neighborhood. The runner had tried +ineffectually to gain admission as a visitor at Zion Place. After having +the door shut on him, he and Screw had watched the house and village, +and had seen me approach Number Two. Their suspicions were directly +excited. + +Thus far, Screw had not recognized, nor even observed me; but he +immediately identified me by my voice, while I was parleying with the +stupid servant at the door. The runner, hearing who I was, reasonably +enough concluded that I must be the recognized medium of communication +between the doctor and his daughter, especially when he found that I was +admitted, instantly after calling, past the servant, to some one inside +the house. + +Leaving Screw on the watch, he went to the inn, discovered himself +privately to the landlord, and made sure (in more ways than one, as +I conjectured) of knowing when, and in what direction, I should leave +Crickgelly. On finding that I was to leave it the next morning, with +Alicia and Mrs. Baggs, he immediately suspected that I was charged with +the duty of taking the daughter to, or near, the place chosen for +the father's retreat; and had therefore abstained from interfering +prematurely with my movements. Knowing whither we were bound in the +cart, he had ridden after us, well out of sight, with his countryman's +disguise ready for use in the saddle-bags--Screw, in case of any +mistakes or mystifications, being left behind on the watch at +Crickgelly. + +The possibility that I might be running away with Alicia had suggested +itself to him; but he dismissed it as improbable, first when he saw +that Mrs. Baggs accompanied us, and again, when, on nearing Scotland, he +found that we did not take the road to Gretna Green. He acknowledged, in +conclusion, that he should have followed us to Edinburgh, or even to +the Continent itself, on the chance of our leading him to the doctor's +retreat, but for the servant girl at the inn, who had listened outside +the door while our brief marriage ceremony was proceeding, and from +whom, with great trouble and delay, he had extracted all the information +he required. A further loss of half an hour's time had occurred while +he was getting the necessary help to assist him, in the event of my +resisting, or trying to give him the slip, in making me a prisoner. +These small facts accounted for the hour's respite we had enjoyed at the +inn, and terminated the runner's narrative of his own proceedings. + +On arriving at our destination I was, of course, immediately taken to +the jail. + +Alicia, by my advice, engaged a modest lodging in a suburb of +Barkingham. In the days of the red-brick house, she had seldom been seen +in the town, and she was not at all known by sight in the suburb. We +arranged that she was to visit me as often as the authorities would let +her. She had no companion, and wanted none. Mrs. Baggs, who had never +forgiven the rebuke administered to her at the starting-point of our +journey, left us at the close of it. Her leave-taking was dignified and +pathetic. She kindly informed Alicia that she wished her well, though +she could not conscientiously look upon her as a lawful married woman; +and she begged me (in case I got off), the next time I met with a +respectable person who was kind to me, to profit by remembering my past +errors, and to treat my next benefactress with more confidence than I +had treated her. + +My first business in the prison was to write to Mr. Batterbury. + +I had a magnificent ease to present to him, this time. Although I +believed myself, and had succeeded in persuading Alicia, that I was sure +of being recommended to mercy, it was not the less the fact that I was +charged with an offense still punishable by death, in the then barbarous +state of the law. I delicately stated just enough of my case to make +one thing clear to the mind of Mr. Batterbury. My affectionate sister's +interest in the contingent reversion was now ( unless Lady Malkinshaw +perversely and suddenly expired) actually threatened by the Gallows! + +While calmly awaiting the answer, I was by no means without subjects +to occupy my attention when Alicia was not at the prison. There was +my fellow-workman--Mill--(the first member of our society betrayed by +Screw) to compare notes with; and there was a certain prisoner who +had been transported, and who had some very important and interesting +particulars to communicate, relative to life and its chances in our +felon-settlements at the Antipodes. I talked a great deal with this man; +for I felt that his experience might be of the greatest possible benefit +to me. + +Mr. Batterbury's answer was speedy, short, and punctual. I had shattered +his nervous system forever, he wrote, but had only stimulated his +devotion to my family, and his Christian readiness to look pityingly on +my transgressions. He had engaged the leader of the circuit to defend +me; and he would have come to see me, but for Mrs. Batterbury; who had +implored him not to expose himself to agitation. Of Lady Malkinshaw the +letter said nothing; but I afterward discovered that she was then at +Cheltenham, drinking the waters and playing whist in the rudest health +and spirits. + +It is a bold thing to say, but nothing will ever persuade me that +Society has not a sneaking kindness for a Rogue. + +For example, my father never had half the attention shown to him in his +own house, which was shown to me in my prison. I have seen High +Sheriffs in the great world, whom my father went to see, give him two +fingers--the High Sheriff of Barkinghamshire came to see me, and shook +hands cordially. Nobody ever wanted my father's autograph--dozens of +people asked for mine. Nobody ever put my father's portrait in the +frontispiece of a magazine, or described his personal appearance +and manners with anxious elaboration, in the large type of a great +newspaper--I enjoyed both those honors. Three official individuals +politely begged me to be sure and make complaints if my position was +not perfectly comfortable. No official individual ever troubled his head +whether my father was comfortable or not. When the day of my trial came, +the court was thronged by my lovely countrywomen, who stood up panting +in the crowd and crushing their beautiful dresses, rather than miss the +pleasure of seeing the dear Rogue in the dock. When my father once stood +on the lecturer's rostrum, and delivered his excellent discourse, called +"Medical Hints to Maids and Mothers on Tight Lacing and Teething," the +benches were left empty by the ungrateful women of England, who were not +in the slightest degree anxious to feast their eyes on the sight of +a learned adviser and respectable man. If these facts led to one +inevitable conclusion, it is not my fault. We Rogues are the spoiled +children of Society. We may not be openly acknowledged as Pets, but we +all know, by pleasant experience, that we are treated like them. + +The trial was deeply affecting. My defense--or rather my +barrister's--was the simple truth. It was impossible to overthrow +the facts against us; so we honestly owned that I got into the scrape +through love for Alicia. My counsel turned this to the best possible +sentimental account. He cried; the ladies cried; the jury cried; the +judge cried; and Mr. Batterbury, who had desperately come to see the +trial, and know the worst, sobbed with such prominent vehemence, that I +believe him, to this day, to have greatly influenced the verdict. I +was strongly recommended to mercy and got off with fourteen years' +transportation. The unfortunate Mill, who was tried after me, with a +mere dry-eyed barrister to defend him, was hanged. + +POSTSCRIPT. + +WITH the record of my sentence of transportation, my life as a Rogue +ends, and my existence as a respectable man begins. I am sorry to say +anything which may disturb popular delusions on the subject of poetical +justice, but this is strictly the truth. + +My first anxiety was about my wife's future. + +Mr. Batterbury gave me no chance of asking his advice after the trial. +The moment sentence had been pronounced, he allowed himself to be helped +out of court in a melancholy state of prostration, and the next morning +he left for London. I suspect he was afraid to face me, and nervously +impatient, besides, to tell Annabella that he had saved the legacy +again by another alarming sacrifice. My father and mother, to whom I had +written on the subject of Alicia, were no more to be depended on than +Mr. Batterbury. My father, in answering my letter, told me that he +conscientiously believed he had done enough in forgiving me for throwing +away an excellent education, and disgracing a respectable name. He added +that he had not allowed my letter for my mother to reach her, out +of pitying regard for her broken health and spirits; and he ended by +telling me (what was perhaps very true) that the wife of such a son as +I had been, had no claim upon her father-in-law's protection and help. +There was an end, then, of any hope of finding resources for Alicia +among the members of my own family. + +The next thing was to discover a means of providing for her without +assistance. I had formed a project for this, after meditating over my +conversations with the returned transport in Barkingham jail, and I had +taken a reliable opinion on the chances of successfully executing my +design from the solicitor who had prepared my defense. + +Alicia herself was so earnestly in favor of assisting in my experiment, +that she declared she would prefer death to its abandonment. +Accordingly, the necessary preliminaries were arranged; and, when we +parted, it was some mitigation of our grief to know that there was a +time appointed for meeting again. Alicia was to lodge with a distant +relative of her mother's in a suburb of London; was to concert measures +with this relative on the best method of turning her jewels into money; +and was to follow her convict husband to the Antipodes, under a feigned +name, in six months' time. + +If my family had not abandoned me, I need not have thus left her to help +herself. As it was, I had no choice. One consolation supported me at +parting--she was in no danger of persecution from her father. A second +letter from him had arrived at Crickgelly, and had been forwarded to the +address I had left for it. It was dated Hamburg, and briefly told her to +remain at Crickgelly, and expect fresh instructions, explanations, and +a supply of money, as soon as he had settled the important business +matters which had taken him abroad. His daughter answered the letter, +telling him of her marriage, and giving him an address at a post-office +to write to, if he chose to reply to her communication. There the matter +rested. + +What was I to do on my side? Nothing but establish a reputation for mild +behavior. I began to manufacture a character for myself for the first +days of our voyage out in the convict-ship; and I landed at the penal +settlement with the reputation of being the meekest and most biddable of +felonious mankind. + +After a short probationary experience of such low convict employments +as lime-burning and road-mending, I was advanced to occupations more in +harmony with my education. Whatever I did, I never neglected the first +great obligation of making myself agreeable and amusing to everybody. My +social reputation as a good fellow began to stand as high at one end of +the world as ever it stood at the other. The months passed more +quickly than I had dared to hope. The expiration of my first year of +transportation was approaching, and already pleasant hints of my being +soon assigned to private service began to reach my ears. This was the +first of the many ends I was now working for; and the next pleasant +realization of my hopes that I had to expect, was the arrival of Alicia. + +She came, a month later than I had anticipated; safe and blooming, +with five hundred pounds as the produce of her jewels, and with the +old Crickgelly alias (changed from Miss to Mrs. Giles), to prevent any +suspicions of the connection between us. + +Her story (concocted by me before I left England) was, that she was a +widow lady, who had come to settle in Australia, and make the most of +her little property in the New World. One of the first things Mrs. Giles +wanted was necessarily a trustworthy servant, and she had to make her +choice of one among the convicts of good character, to be assigned to +private service. Being one of that honorable body myself at the time, +it is needless to say that I was the fortunate man on whom Mrs. Giles's +choice fell. The first situation I got in Australia was as servant to my +own wife. + +Alicia made a very indulgent mistress. + +If she had been mischievously inclined, she might, by application to a +magistrate, have had me flogged or set to work in chains on the roads, +whenever I became idle or insubordinate, which happened occasionally. +But instead of complaining, the kind creature kissed and made much of +her footman by stealth, after his day's work. She allowed him no female +followers, and only employed one woman-servant occasionally, who was +both old and ugly. The name of the footman was Dear in private, and +Francis in company; and when the widowed mistress, upstairs, refused +eligible offers of marriage (which was pretty often), the favored +domestic in the kitchen was always informed of it, and asked, with the +sweetest humility, if he approved of the proceeding. + +Not to dwell on this anomalous period of my existence, let me say +briefly that my new position with my wife was of the greatest advantage +in enabling me to direct in secret the profitable uses to which her +little fortune was put. + +We began in this way with an excellent speculation in cattle--buying +them for shillings and selling them for pounds. With the profits thus +obtained, we next tried our hands at houses--first buying in a small +way, then boldly building, and letting again and selling to great +advantage. While these speculations were in progress, my behavior in +my wife's service was so exemplary, and she gave me so excellent a +character when the usual official inquiries were instituted, that I +soon got the next privilege accorded to persons in my situation--a +ticket-of-leave. By the time this had been again exchanged for a +conditional pardon (which allowed me to go about where I pleased in +Australia, and to trade in my own name like any unconvicted merchant) +our house-property had increased enormously, our land had been sold for +public buildings, and we had shares in the famous Emancipist's Bank, +which produced quite a little income of themselves. + +There was now no need to keep the mask on any longer. + +I went through the superfluous ceremony of a second marriage with +Alicia; took stores in the city; built a villa in the country; and +here I am at this present moment of writing, a convict aristocrat--a +prosperous, wealthy, highly respectable mercantile man, with two years +of my sentence of transportation still to expire. I have a barouche and +two bay horses, a coachman and page in neat liveries, three charming +children, and a French governess, a boudoir and lady's-maid for my wife. +She is as handsome as ever, but getting a little fat. So am I, as a +worthy friend remarked when I recently appeared holding the plate, at +our last charity sermon. + +What would my surviving relatives and associates in England say, if they +could see me now? I have heard of them at different times and through +various channels. Lady Malkinshaw, after living to the verge of +a hundred, and surviving all sorts of accidents, died quietly one +afternoon, in her chair, with an empty dish before her, and without +giving the slightest notice to anybody. Mr. Batterbury, having +sacrificed so much to his wife's reversion, profited nothing by its +falling in at last. His quarrels with my amiable sister--which took +their rise from his interested charities toward me--ended in producing a +separation. And, far from saving anything by Annabella's inheritance of +her pin-money, he had a positive loss to put up with, in the shape +of some hundreds extracted yearly from his income, as alimony to his +uncongenial wife. He is said to make use of shocking language whenever +my name is mentioned, and to wish that he had been carried off by the +yellow fever before he ever set eyes on the Softly family. + +My father has retired from practice. He and my mother have gone to live +in the country, near the mansion of the only marquis with whom my father +was actually and personally acquainted in his professional days. The +marquis asks him to dinner once a year, and leaves a card for my mother +before he returns to town for the season. A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw +hangs in the dining-room. In this way, my parents are ending their days +contentedly. I can honestly say that I am glad to hear it. + +Doctor Dulcifer, when I last heard of him, was editing a newspaper in +America. Old File, who shared his flight, still shares his fortunes, +being publisher of his newspaper. Young File resumed coining operations +in London; and, having braved his fate a second time, threaded his way, +in due course, up to the steps of the scaffold. Screw carries on the +profitable trade of informer, in London. The dismal disappearance of +Mill I have already recorded. + +So much on the subject of my relatives and associates. On the subject +of myself, I might still write on at considerable length. But while the +libelous title of "A ROGUE'S LIFE" stares me in the face at the top +of the page, how can I, as a rich and reputable man, be expected to +communicate any further autobiographical particulars, in this place, +to a discerning public of readers? No, no, my friends! I am no longer +interesting--I am only respectable like yourselves. It is time to say +"Good-by." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Rogue's Life, by Wilkie Collins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A ROGUE'S LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 1588.txt or 1588.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/8/1588/ + +Produced by James Rusk and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +[Italics are indicatedby underscores +James Rusk, jrusk@cyberramp.net.] + + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE + +by Wilkie Collins + + + + +INTRODUCTORY WORDS. + +The following pages were written more than twenty years since, +and were then published periodically in _Household Words._ + +In the original form of publication the Rogue was very favorably +received. Year after year, I delayed the republication, +proposing, at the suggestion of my old friend, Mr. Charles Reade, +to enlarge the present sketch of the hero's adventures in +Australia. But the opportunity of carrying out this project has +proved to be one of the lost opportunities of my life. I +republish the story with its original conclusion unaltered, but +with such occasional additions and improvements as will, I hope, +render it more worthy of attention at the present time. + +The critical reader may possibly notice a tone of almost +boisterous gayety in certain parts of these imaginary +Confessions. I can only plead, in defense, that the story offers +the faithful reflection of a very happy time in my past life. It +was written at Paris, when I had Charles Dickens for a near +neighbor and a daily companion, and when my leisure hours were +joyously passed with many other friends, all associated with +literature and art, of whom the admirable comedian, Regnier, is +now the only survivor. The revising of these pages has been to me +a melancholy task. I can only hope that they may cheer the sad +moments of others. The Rogue may surely claim two merits, at +least, in the eyes of the new generation--he is never serious for +two moments together; and he "doesn't take long to read." W. C. + +GLOUCESTER PLACE, LONDON, _March_ 6th, 1879. + + + + +A ROGUE'S LIFE. + +CHAPTER I. + +I AM going to try if I can't write something about myself. My +life has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly +useful or respectable; but it has been, in some respects, +adventurous; and that may give it claims to be read, even in the +most prejudiced circles. I am an example of some of the workings +of the social system of this illustrious country on the +individual native, during the early part of the present century; +and, if I may say so without unbecoming vanity, I should like to +quote myself for the edification of my countrymen. + +Who am I. + +I am remarkably well connected, I can tell you. I came into this +world with the great advantage of having Lady Malkinshaw for a +grandmother, her ladyship's daughter for a mother, and Francis +James Softly, Esq., M. D. (commonly called Doctor Softly), for a +father. I put my father last, because he was not so well +connected as my mother, and my grandmother first, because she was +the most nobly-born person of the three. I have been, am still, +and may continue to be, a Rogue; but I hope I am not abandoned +enough yet to forget the respect that is due to rank. On this +account, I trust, nobody will show such want of regard for my +feelings as to expect me to say much about my mother's brother. +That inhuman person committed an outrage on his family by making +a fortune in the soap and candle trade. I apologize for +mentioning him, even in an accidental way. The fact is, he left +my sister, Annabella, a legacy of rather a peculiar kind, saddled +with certain conditions which indirectly affected me; but this +passage of family history need not be produced just yet. I +apologize a second time for alluding to money matters before it +was absolutely necessary. Let me get back to a pleasing and +reputable subject, by saying a word or two more about my father. + +I am rather afraid that Doctor Softly was not a clever medical +man; for in spite of his great connections, he did not get a very +magnificent practice as a physician. + +As a general practitioner, he might have bought a comfortable +business, with a house and snug surgery-shop attached; but the +son-in-law of Lady Malkinshaw was obliged to hold up his head, +and set up his carriage, and live in a street near a fashionable +square, and keep an expensive and clumsy footman to answer the +door, instead of a cheap and tidy housemaid. How he managed to +"maintain his position" (that is the right phrase, I think), I +never could tell. His wife did not bring him a farthing. When the +honorable and gallant baronet, her father, died, he left the +widowed Lady Malkinshaw with her worldly affairs in a curiously +involved state. Her son (of whom I feel truly ashamed to be +obliged to speak again so soon) made an effort to extricate his +mother--involved himself in a series of pecuniary disasters, +which commercial people call, I believe, transactions--struggled +for a little while to get out of them in the character of an +independent gentleman--failed--and then spiritlessly availed +himself of the oleaginous refuge of the soap and candle trade. +His mother always looked down upon him after this; but borrowed +money of him also--in order to show, I suppose, that her maternal +interest in her son was not quite extinct. My father tried to +follow her example--in his wife's interests, of course; but the +soap-boiler brutally buttoned up his pockets, and told my father +to go into business for himself. Thus it happened that we were +certainly a poor family, in spite of the fine appearance we made, +the fashionable street we lived in, the neat brougham we kept, +and the clumsy and expensive footman who answered our door. + +What was to be done with me in the way of education? + +If my father had consulted his means, I should have been sent to +a cheap commercial academy; but he had to consult his +relationship to Lady Malkinshaw; so I was sent to one of the most +fashionable and famous of the great public schools. I will not +mention it by name, because I don't think the masters would be +proud of my connection with it. I ran away three times, and was +flogged three times. I made four aristocratic connections, and +had four pitched battles with them: three thrashed me, and one I +thrashed. I learned to play at cricket, to hate rich people, to +cure warts, to write Latin verses, to swim, to recite speeches, +to cook kidneys on toast, to draw caricatures of the masters, to +construe Greek plays, to black boots, and to receive kicks and +serious advice resignedly. Who will say that the fashionable +public school was of no use to me after that? + +After I left school, I had the narrowest escape possible of +intruding myself into another place of accommodation for +distinguished people; in other words, I was very nearly being +sent to college. Fortunately for me, my father lost a lawsuit +just in the nick of time, and was obliged to scrape together +every farthing of available money that he possessed to pay for +the luxury of going to law. If he could have saved his seven +shillings, he would certainly have sent me to scramble for a +place in the pit of the great university theater; but his purse +was empty, and his son was not eligible therefore for admission, +in a gentlemanly capacity, at the doors. + +The next thing was to choose a profession. + +Here the Doctor was liberality itself, in leaving me to my own +devices. I was of a roving adventurous temperament, and I should +have liked to go into the army. But where was the money to come +from, to pay for my commission? As to enlisting in the ranks, and +working my way up, the social institutions of my country obliged +the grandson of Lady Malkinshaw to begin military life as an +officer and gentleman, or not to begin it at all. The army, +therefore, was out of the question. The Church? Equally out of +the question: since I could not pay for admission to the prepared +place of accommodation for distinguished people, and could not +accept a charitable free pass, in consequence of my high +connections. The Bar? I should be five years getting to it, and +should have to spend two hundred a year in going circuit before I +had earned a farthing. Physic? This really seemed the only +gentlemanly refuge left; and yet, with the knowledge of my +father's experience before me, I was ungrateful enough to feel a +secret dislike for it. It is a degrading confession to make; but +I remember wishing I was not so highly connected, and absolutely +thinking that the life of a commercial traveler would have suited +me exactly, if I had not been a poor g entleman. Driving about +from place to place, living jovially at inns, seeing fresh faces +constantly, and getting money by all this enjoyment, instead of +spending it--what a life for me, if I had been the son of a +haberdasher and the grandson of a groom's widow! + +While my father was uncertain what to do with me, a new +profession was suggested by a friend, which I shall repent not +having been allowed to adopt, to the last day of my life. This +friend was an eccentric old gentleman of large property, much +respected in our family. One day, my father, in my presence, +asked his advice about the best manner of starting me in life, +with due credit to my connections and sufficient advantage to +myself. + +"Listen to my experience," said our eccentric friend, "and, if +you are a wise man, you will make up your mind as soon as you +have heard me. I have three sons. I brought my eldest son up to +the Church; he is said to be getting on admirably, and he costs +me three hundred a year. I brought my second son up to the Bar; +he is said to be getting on admirably, and he costs me four +hundred a year. I brought my third son up to _Quadrilles_--he has +married an heiress, and he costs me nothing." + +Ah, me! if that worthy sage's advice had only been followed--if I +had been brought up to Quadrilles!--if I had only been cast loose +on the ballrooms of London, to qualify under Hymen, for a golden +degree! Oh! you young ladies with money, I was five feet ten in +my stockings; I was great at small-talk and dancing; I had glossy +whiskers, curling locks, and a rich voice! Ye girls with golden +guineas, ye nymphs with crisp bank-notes, mourn over the husband +you have lost among you--over the Rogue who has broken the laws +which, as the partner of a landed or fund-holding woman, he might +have helped to make on the benches of the British Parliament! Oh! +ye hearths and homes sung about in so many songs--written about +in so many books--shouted about in so many speeches, with +accompaniment of so much loud cheering: what a settler on the +hearth-rug; what a possessor of property; what a bringer-up of a +family, was snatched away from you, when the son of Dr. Softly +was lost to the profession of Quadrilles! + +It ended in my resigning myself to the misfortune of being a +doctor. + +If I was a very good boy and took pains, and carefully mixed in +the best society, I might hope in the course of years to succeed +to my father's brougham, fashionably-situated house, and clumsy +and expensive footman. There was a prospect for a lad of spirit, +with the blood of the early Malkinshaws (who were Rogues of great +capacity and distinction in the feudal times) coursing +adventurous through every vein! I look back on my career, and +when I remember the patience with which I accepted a medical +destiny, I appear to myself in the light of a hero. Nay, I even +went beyond the passive virtue of accepting my destiny--I +actually studied, I made the acquaintance of the skeleton, I was +on friendly terms with the muscular system, and the mysteries of +Physiology dropped in on me in the kindest manner whenever they +had an evening to spare. + +Even this was not the worst of it. I disliked the abstruse +studies of my new profession; but I absolutely hated the diurnal +slavery of qualifying myself, in a social point of view, for +future success in it. My fond medical parent insisted on +introducing me to his whole connection. I went round visiting in +the neat brougham--with a stethoscope and medical review in the +front-pocket, with Doctor Softly by my side, keeping his face +well in view at the window--to canvass for patients, in the +character of my father's hopeful successor. Never have I been so +ill at ease in prison, as I was in that carriage. I have felt +more at home in the dock (such is the natural depravity and +perversity of my disposition) than ever I felt in the +drawing-rooms of my father's distinguished patrons and +respectable friends. Nor did my miseries end with the morning +calls. I was commanded to attend all dinner-parties, and to make +myself agreeable at all balls. The dinners were the worst trial. +Sometimes, indeed, we contrived to get ourselves asked to the +houses of high and mighty entertainers, where we ate the finest +French dishes and drank the oldest vintages, and fortified +ourselves sensibly and snugly in that way against the frigidity +of the company. Of these repasts I have no hard words to say; it +is of the dinners we gave ourselves, and of the dinners which +people in our rank of life gave to us, that I now bitterly +complain. + +Have you ever observed the remarkable adherence to set forms of +speech which characterizes the talkers of arrant nonsense! +Precisely the same sheepish following of one given example +distinguishes the ordering of genteel dinners. + +When we gave a dinner at home, we had gravy soup, turbot and +lobster-sauce, haunch of mutton, boiled fowls and tongue, +lukewarm oyster-patties and sticky curry for side-dishes; wild +duck, cabinet-pudding, jelly, cream and tartlets. All excellent +things, except when you have to eat them continually. We lived +upon them entirely in the season. Every one of our hospitable +friends gave us a return dinner, which was a perfect copy of +ours--just as ours was a perfect copy of theirs, last year. They +boiled what we boiled, and we roasted what they roasted. We none +of us ever changed the succession of the courses--or made more or +less of them--or altered the position of the fowls opposite the +mistress and the haunch opposite the master. My stomach used to +quail within me, in those times, when the tureen was taken off +and the inevitable gravy-soup smell renewed its daily +acquaintance with my nostrils, and warned me of the persistent +eatable formalities that were certain to follow. I suppose that +honest people, who have known what it is to get no dinner (being +a Rogue, I have myself never wanted for one), have gone through +some very acute suffering under that privation. It may be some +consolation to them to know that, next to absolute starvation, +the same company-dinner, every day, is one of the hardest trials +that assail human endurance. I date my first serious +determination to throw over the medical profession at the +earliest convenient opportunity, from the second season's series +of dinners at which my aspirations, as a rising physician, +unavoidably and regularly condemned me to be present. + +CHAPTER II. + +THE opportunity I wanted presented itself in a curious way, and +led, unexpectedly enough, to some rather important consequences. + +I have already stated, among the other branches of human +attainment which I acquired at the public school, that I learned +to draw caricatures of the masters who were so obliging as to +educate me. I had a natural faculty for this useful department of +art. I improved it greatly by practice in secret after I left +school, and I ended by making it a source of profit and pocket +money to me when I entered the medical profession. What was I to +do? I could not expect for years to make a halfpenny, as a +physician. My genteel walk in life led me away from all immediate +sources of emolument, and my father could only afford to give me +an allowance which was too preposterously small to be mentioned. +I had helped myself surreptitiously to pocket-money at school, by +selling my caricatures, and I was obliged to repeat the process +at home! + +At the time of which I write, the Art of Caricature was just +approaching the close of its colored and most extravagant stage +of development. The subtlety and truth to Nature required for the +pursuit of it now, had hardly begun to be thought of then. Sheer +farce and coarse burlesque, with plenty of color for the money, +still made up the sum of what the public of those days wanted. I +was first assured of my capacity for the production of these +requisites, by a medical friend of the ripe critical age of +nineteen. He knew a print-publisher, and enthusiastically showed +him a portfolio full of my sketches, taking care at my request +not to mention my name. Rather to my surprise (for I was too +conceited to be greatly amazed by the circumstance), the +publisher picked out a few of the best of my wares, and boldly +bought them of me-- of course, at his own price. From that time I +became, in an anonymous way, one of the young buccaneers of +British Caricature; cruising about here, there and everywhere, at +all my intervals of spare time, for any prize in the shape of a +subject which it was possible to pick up. Little did my +highly-connected mother think that, among the colored prints in +the shop-window, which disrespectfully illustrated the public and +private proceedings of distinguished individuals, certain +specimens bearing the classic signature of "Thersites Junior," +were produced from designs furnished by her studious and medical +son. Little did my respectable father imagine when, with great +difficulty and vexation, he succeeded in getting me now and then +smuggled, along with himself, inside the pale of fashionable +society--that he was helping me to study likenesses which were +destined under my reckless treatment to make the public laugh at +some of his most august patrons, and to fill the pockets of his +son with professional fees, never once dreamed of in his +philosophy. + +For more than a year I managed, unsuspected, to keep the Privy +Purse fairly supplied by the exercise of my caricaturing +abilities. But the day of detection was to come. + +Whether my medical friend's admiration of my satirical sketches +led him into talking about them in public with too little +reserve; or whether the servants at home found private means of +watching me in my moments of Art-study, I know not: but that some +one betrayed me, and that the discovery of my illicit manufacture +of caricatures was actually communicated even to the +grandmotherly head and fount of the family honor, is a most +certain and lamentable matter of fact. One morning my father +received a letter from Lady Malkinshaw herself, informing him, in +a handwriting crooked with poignant grief, and blotted at every +third word by the violence of virtuous indignation, that +"Thersites Junior" was his own son, and that, in one of the last +of the "ribald's" caricatures her own venerable features were +unmistakably represented as belonging to the body of a large owl! + +Of course, I laid my hand on my heart and indignantly denied +everything. Useless. My original model for the owl had got proofs +of my guilt that were not to be resisted. + +The doctor, ordinarily the most mellifluous and self-possessed of +men, flew into a violent, roaring, cursing passion, on this +occasion--declared that I was imperiling the honor and standing +of the family--insisted on my never drawing another caricature, +either for public or private purposes, as long as I lived; and +ordered me to go forthwith and ask pardon of Lady Malkinshaw in +the humblest terms that it was possible to select. I answered +dutifully that I was quite ready to obey, on the condition that +he should reimburse me by a trebled allowance for what I should +lose by giving up the Art of Caricature, or that Lady Malkinshaw +should confer on me the appointment of physician-in-waiting on +her, with a handsome salary attached. These extremely moderate +stipulations so increased my father's anger, that he asserted, +with an unmentionably vulgar oath, his resolution to turn me out +of doors if I did not do as he bid me, without daring to hint at +any conditions whatsoever. I bowed, and said that I would save +him the exertion of turning me out of doors, by going of my own +accord. He shook his fist at me; after which it obviously became +my duty, as a member of a gentlemanly and peaceful profession, to +leave the room. The same evening I left the house, and I have +never once given the clumsy and expensive footman the trouble of +answering the door to me since that time. + +I have reason to believe that my exodus from home was, on the +whole, favorably viewed by my mother, as tending to remove any +possibility of my bad character and conduct interfering with my +sister's advancement in life. + +By dint of angling with great dexterity and patience, under the +direction of both her parents, my handsome sister Annabella had +succeeded in catching an eligible husband, in the shape of a +wizen, miserly, mahogany-colored man, turned fifty, who had made +a fortune in the West Indies. His name was Batterbury; he had +been dried up under a tropical sun, so as to look as if he would +keep for ages; he had two subjects of conversation, the +yellow-fever and the advantage of walking exercise: and he was +barbarian enough to take a violent dislike to me. He had proved a +very delicate fish to hook; and, even when Annabella had caught +him, my father and mother had great difficulty in landing +him--principally, they were good enough to say, in consequence of +my presence on the scene. Hence the decided advantage of my +removal from home. It is a very pleasant reflection to me, now, +to remember how disinterestedly I studied the good of my family +in those early days. + +Abandoned entirely to my own resources, I naturally returned to +the business of caricaturing with renewed ardor. + +About this time Thersites Junior really began to make something +like a reputation, and to walk abroad habitually with a bank-note +comfortably lodged among the other papers in his pocketbook. For +a year I lived a gay and glorious life in some of the freest +society in London; at the end of that time, my tradesmen, without +any provocation on my part, sent in their bills. I found myself +in the very absurd position of having no money to pay them, and +told them all so with the frankness which is one of the best +sides of my character. They received my advances toward a better +understanding with brutal incivility, and treated me soon +afterward with a want of confidence which I may forgive, but can +never forget. One day, a dirty stranger touched me on the +shoulder, and showed me a dirty slip of paper which I at first +presumed to be his card. Before I could tell him what a vulgar +document it looked like, two more dirty strangers put me into a +hackney coach. Before I could prove to them that this proceeding +was a gross infringement on the liberties of the British subject, +I found myself lodged within the walls of a prison. + +Well! and what of that? Who am I that I should object to being in +prison, when so many of the royal personages and illustrious +characters of history have been there before me? Can I not carry +on my vocation in greater comfort here than I could in my +father's house? Have I any anxieties outside these walls? No: for +my beloved sister is married--the family net has landed Mr. +Batterbury at last. No: for I read in the paper the other day, +that Doctor Softly (doubtless through the interest of Lady +Malkinshaw) has been appointed the +King's-Barber-Surgeon's-Deputy-Consulting Physician. My relatives +are comfortable in their sphere--let me proceed forthwith to make +myself comfortable in mine. Pen, ink, and paper, if you please, +Mr. Jailer: I wish to write to my esteemed publisher. + + + +"DEAR SIR--Please advertise a series of twelve Racy Prints, from +my fertile pencil, entitled, 'Scenes of Modern Prison Life,' by +Thersites Junior. The two first designs will be ready by the end +of the week, to be paid for on delivery, according to the terms +settled between us for my previous publications of the same size. + +"With great regard and esteem, faithfully yours, + +FRANK SOFTLY." + + + +Having thus provided for my support in prison, I was enabled to +introduce myself to my fellow-debtors, and to study character for +the new series of prints, on the very first day of my +incarceration, with my mind quite at ease. + +If the reader desires to make acquaintance with the associates of +my captivity, I must refer him to "Scenes of Modern Prison Life," +by Thersites Junior, now doubtless extremely scarce, but +producible to the demands of patience and perseverance, I should +imagine, if anybody will be so obliging as to pass a week or so +over the catalogue of the British Museum. My fertile pencil has +delineated the characters I met with, at that period of my life, +with a force and distinctness which my pen cannot hope to +rival--has portrayed them all more or less prominently, with the +one solitary exception of a prisoner called Gentleman Jones. The +reasons why I excluded him from my portrait-gallery are so +honorab le to both of us, that I must ask permission briefly to +record them. + +My fellow-captives soon discovered that I was studying their +personal peculiarities for my own advantage and for the public +amusement. Some thought the thing a good joke; some objected to +it, and quarreled with me. Liberality in the matter of liquor and +small loans, reconciled a large proportion of the objectors to +their fate; the sulky minority I treated with contempt, and +scourged avengingly with the smart lash of caricature. I was at +that time probably the most impudent man of my age in all +England, and the common flock of jail-birds quailed before the +magnificence of my assurance. One prisoner only set me and my +pencil successfully at defiance. That prisoner was Gentleman +Jones. + +He had received his name from the suavity of his countenance, the +inveterate politeness of his language, and the unassailable +composure of his manner. He was in the prime of life, but very +bald--had been in the army and the coal trade--wore very stiff +collars and prodigiously long wristbands--seldom laughed, but +talked with remarkable glibness, and was never known to lose his +temper under the most aggravating circumstances of prison +existence. + +He abstained from interfering with me and my studies, until it +was reported in our society, that in the sixth print of my +series, Gentleman Jones, highly caricatured, was to form one of +the principal figures. He then appealed to me personally and +publicly, on the racket-ground, in the following terms: + +"Sir," said he, with his usual politeness and his unwavering +smile, "you will greatly oblige me by not caricaturing my +personal peculiarities. I am so unfortunate as not to possess a +sense of humor; and if you did my likeness, I am afraid I should +not see the joke of it." + +"Sir," I returned, with my customary impudence, "it is not of the +slightest importance whether _you_ see the joke of it or not. The +public will--and that is enough for me." + +With that civil speech, I turned on my heel; and the prisoners +near all burst out laughing. Gentleman Jones, not in the least +altered or ruffled, smoothed down his wristbands, smiled, and +walked away. + +The same evening I was in my room alone, designing the new print, +when there came a knock at the door, and Gentleman Jones walked +in. I got up, and asked what the devil he wanted. He smiled, and +turned up his long wristbands. + +"Only to give you a lesson in politeness," said Gentleman Jones. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--?" + +The answer was a smart slap on the face. I instantly struck out +in a state of fury--was stopped with great neatness--and received +in return a blow on the head, which sent me down on the carpet +half stunned, and too giddy to know the difference between the +floor and the ceiling. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, smoothing down his wristbands again, +and addressing me blandly as I lay on the floor, "I have the +honor to inform you that you have now received your first lesson +in politeness. Always be civil to those who are civil to you. The +little matter of the caricature we will settle on a future +occasion. I wish you good-evening." + +The noise of my fall had been heard by the other occupants of +rooms on my landing. Most fortunately for my dignity, they did +not come in to see what was the matter until I had been able to +get into my chair again. When they entered, I felt that the +impression of the slap was red on my face still, but the mark of +the blow was hidden by my hair. Under these fortunate +circumstances, I was able to keep up my character among my +friends, when they inquired about the scuffle, by informing them +that Gentleman Jones had audaciously slapped my face, and that I +had been obliged to retaliate by knocking him down. My word in +the prison was as good as his; and if my version of the story got +fairly the start of his, I had the better chance of the two of +being believed. + +I was rather anxious, the next day, to know what course my polite +and pugilistic instructor would take. To my utter amazement, he +bowed to me as civilly as usual when we met in the yard; he never +denied my version of the story; and when my friends laughed at +him as a thrashed man, he took not the slightest notice of their +agreeable merriment. Antiquity, I think, furnishes us with few +more remarkable characters than Gentleman Jones. + +That evening I thought it desirable to invite a friend to pass +the time with me. As long as my liquor lasted he stopped; when it +was gone, he went away. I was just locking the door after him, +when it was pushed open gently, but very firmly, and Gentleman +Jones walked in. + +My pride, which had not allowed me to apply for protection to the +prison authorities, would not allow me now to call for help. I +tried to get to the fireplace and arm myself with the poker, but +Gentleman Jones was too quick for me. "I have come, sir, to give +you a lesson in morality to-night," he said; and up went his +right hand. + +I stopped the preliminary slap, but before I could hit him, his +terrible left fist reached my head again; and down I fell once +more--upon the hearth-rug this time--not over-heavily. + +"Sir," said Gentleman Jones, making me a bow, "you have now +received your first lesson in morality. Always speak the truth; +and never say what is false of another man behind his back. +To-morrow, with your kind permission, we will finally settle the +adjourned question of the caricature. Good-night." + +I was far too sensible a man to leave the settling of that +question to him. The first thing in the morning I sent a polite +note to Gentleman Jones, informing him that I had abandoned all +idea of exhibiting his likeness to the public in my series of +prints, and giving him full permission to inspect every design I +made before it went out of the prison. I received a most civil +answer, thanking me for my courtesy, and complimenting me on the +extraordinary aptitude with which I profited by the most +incomplete and elementary instruction. I thought I deserved the +compliment, and I think so still. Our conduct, as I have already +intimated, was honorable to us, on either side. It was honorable +attention on the part of Gentleman Jones to correct me when I was +in error; it was honorable common sense in me to profit by the +correction. I have never seen this great man since he compounded +with his creditors and got out of prison; but my feelings toward +him are still those of profound gratitude and respect. He gave me +the only useful teaching I ever had; and if this should meet the +eye of Gentleman Jones I hereby thank him for beginning and +ending my education in two evenings, without costing me or my +family a single farthing. + +CHAPTER III. + +To return to my business affairs. When I was comfortably settled +in the prison, and knew exactly what I owed, I thought it my duty +to my father to give him the first chance of getting me out. His +answer to my letter contained a quotation from Shakespeare on the +subject of thankless children, but no remittance of money. After +that, my only course was to employ a lawyer and be declared a +bankrupt. I was most uncivilly treated, and remanded two or three +times. When everything I possessed had been sold for the benefit +of my creditors, I was reprimanded and let out. It is pleasant to +think that, even then, my faith in myself and in human nature was +still not shaken. + +About ten days before my liberation, I was thunderstruck at +receiving a visit from my sister's mahogany-colored husband, Mr. +Batterbury. When I was respectably settled at home, this +gentleman would not so much as look at me without a frown; and +now, when I was a scamp, in prison, he mercifully and fraternally +came to condole with me on my misfortunes. A little dexterous +questioning disclosed the secret of this prodigious change in our +relations toward each other, and informed me of a family event +which altered my position toward my sister in the most whimsical +manner. + +While I was being removed to the bankruptcy court, my uncle in +the soap and candle trade was being removed to the other world. +His will took no notice of my father or my mother; but he left to +my sister (always supposed to be his favorite in the family) a +most extraordin ary legacy of possible pin-money, in the shape of +a contingent reversion to the sum of three thousand pounds, +payable on the death of Lady Malkinshaw, provided I survived her. + +Whether this document sprang into existence out of any of his +involved money transactions with his mother was more than Mr. +Batterbury could tell. I could ascertain nothing in relation to +it, except that the bequest was accompanied by some cynical +remarks, to the effect that the testator would feel happy if his +legacy were instrumental in reviving the dormant interest of only +one member of Doctor Softly's family in the fortunes of the +hopeful young gentleman who had run away from home. My esteemed +uncle evidently felt that he could not in common decency avoid +doing something for his sister's family; and he had done it +accordingly in the most malicious and mischievous manner. This +was characteristic of him; he was just the man, if he had not +possessed the document before, to have had it drawn out on his +death-bed for the amiable purpose which it was now devoted to +serve. + +Here was a pretty complication! Here was my sister's handsome +legacy made dependent on my outliving my grandmother! This was +diverting enough; but Mr. Batterbury's conduct was more amusing +still. + +The miserly little wretch not only tried to conceal his greedy +desire to save his own pockets by securing the allowance of +pin-money left to his wife, but absolutely persisted in ignoring +the plain fact that his visit to me sprang from the serious +pecuniary interest which he and Annabella now had in the life and +health of your humble servant. I made all the necessary jokes +about the strength of the vital principle in Lady Malkinshaw, and +the broken condition of my own constitution; but he solemnly +abstained from understanding one of them. He resolutely kept up +appearances in the very face of detection; not the faintest shade +of red came over his wicked old mahogany face as he told me how +shocked he and his wife were at my present position, and how +anxious Annabella was that he should not forget to give me her +love. Tenderhearted creature! I had only been in prison six +months when that overwhelming testimony of sisterly affection +came to console me in my captivity. Ministering angel! you shall +get your three thousand pounds. I am fifty years younger than +Lady Malkinshaw, and I will take care of myself, Annabella, for +thy dear sake! + +The next time I saw Mr. Batterbury was on the day when I at last +got my discharge. He was not waiting to see where I was going +next, or what vital risks I was likely to run on the recovery of +my freedom, but to congratulate me, and to give me Annabella's +love. It was a very gratifying attention, and I said as much, in +tones of the deepest feeling. + +"How is dear Lady Malkinshaw?" I asked, when my grateful emotions +had subsided. + +Mr. Batterbury shook his head mournfully. "I regret to say, not +quite so well as her friends could wish," he answered. "The last +time I had the pleasure of seeing her ladyship, she looked so +yellow that if we had been in Jamaica I should have said it was a +case of death in twelve hours. I respectfully endeavored to +impress upon her ladyship the necessity of keeping the functions +of the liver active by daily walking exercise; time, distance, +and pace being regulated with proper regard to her age--you +understand me?--of course, with proper regard to her age." + +"You could not possibly have given her better advice," I said. +"When I saw her, as long as two years ago, Lady Malkinshaw's +favorite delusion was that she was the most active woman of +seventy-five in all England. She used to tumble downstairs two or +three times a week, then, because she never would allow any one +to help her; and could not be brought to believe that she was as +blind as a mole, and as rickety on her legs as a child of a year +old. Now you have encouraged her to take to walking, she will be +more obstinate than ever, and is sure to tumble down daily, out +of doors as well as in. Not even the celebrated Malkinshaw +toughness can last out more than a few weeks of that practice. +Considering the present shattered condition of my constitution, +you couldn't have given her better advice--upon my word of honor, +you couldn't have given her better advice!" + +"I am afraid," said Mr. Batterbury, with a power of face I +envied; "I am afraid, my dear Frank (let me call you Frank), that +I don't quite apprehend your meaning: and we have unfortunately +no time to enter into explanations. Five miles here by a +roundabout way is only half my daily allowance of walking +exercise; five miles back by a roundabout way remain to be now +accomplished. So glad to see you at liberty again! Mind you let +us know where you settle, and take care of yourself; and do +recognize the importance to the whole animal economy of daily +walking exercise--do now! Did I give you Annabella's love? She's +so well. Good-by." + +Away went Mr. Batterbury to finish his walk for the sake of his +health, and away went I to visit my publisher for the sake of my +pocket. + +An unexpected disappointment awaited me. My "Scenes of Modern +Prison Life" had not sold so well as had been anticipated, and my +publisher was gruffly disinclined to speculate in any future +works done in the same style. During the time of my imprisonment, +a new caricaturist had started, with a manner of his own; he had +already formed a new school, and the fickle public were all +running together after him and his disciples. I said to myself: +"This scene in the drama of your life, my friend, has closed in; +you must enter on another, or drop the curtain at once." Of +course I entered on another. + +Taking leave of my publisher, I went to consult an artist-friend +on my future prospects. I supposed myself to be merely on my way +to a change of profession. As destiny ordered it, I was also on +my way to the woman who was not only to be the object of my first +love, but the innocent cause of the great disaster of my life. + +I first saw her in one of the narrow streets leading from +Leicester Square to the Strand. There was something in her face +(dimly visible behind a thick veil) that instantly stopped me as +I passed her. I looked back and hesitated. Her figure was the +perfection of modest grace. I yielded to the impulse of the +moment. In plain words, I did what you would have done, in my +place--I followed her. + +She looked round--discovered me--and instantly quickened her +pace. Reaching the westward end of the Strand, she crossed the +street and suddenly entered a shop. + +I looked through the window, and saw her speak to a respectable +elderly person behind the counter, who darted an indignant look +at me, and at once led my charming stranger into a back office. +For the moment, I was fool enough to feel puzzled; it was out of +my character you will say--but remember, all men are fools when +they first fall in love. After a little while I recovered the use +of my senses. The shop was at the corner of a side street, +leading to the market, since removed to make room for the +railway. "There's a back entrance to the house!" I thought to +myself--and ran down the side street. Too late! the lovely +fugitive had escaped me. Had I lost her forever in the great +world of London? I thought so at the time. Events will show that +I never was more mistaken in my life. + +I was in no humor to call on my friend. It was not until another +day had passed that I sufficiently recovered my composure to see +poverty staring me in the face, and to understand that I had +really no alternative but to ask the good-natured artist to lend +me a helping hand. + +I had heard it darkly whispered that he was something of a +vagabond. But the term is so loosely applied, and it seems so +difficult, after all, to define what a vagabond is, or to strike +the right moral balance between the vagabond work which is boldly +published, and the vagabond work which is reserved for private +circulation only, that I did not feel justified in holding aloof +from my former friend. Accordingly, I renewed our acquaintance, +and told him my present difficulty. He was a sharp man, and he +showed me a way out of it directly. + +"You have a good eye for a likeness," he said; "and you have made +it keep you hitherto. Very well. Make it keep you still. You +can't profitably caricature people's faces any longer--never +mind! go to the other extreme, and flatter them now. Turn +portrait-painter. You shall have the use of this study three days +in the week, for ten shillings a week--sleeping on the hearth-rug +included, if you like. Get your paints, rouse up your friends, +set to work at once. Drawing is of no consequence; painting is of +no consequence; perspective is of no consequence; ideas are of no +consequence. Everything is of no consequence, except catching a +likeness and flattering your sitter--and that you know you can +do." + +I felt that I could; and left him for the nearest colorman's. + +Before I got to the shop, I met Mr. Batterbury taking his walking +exercise. He stopped, shook hands with me affectionately, and +asked where I was going. A wonderful idea struck me. Instead of +answering his question, I asked after Lady Malkinshaw. + +"Don't be alarmed," said Mr. Batterbury; "her ladyship tumbled +downstairs yesterday morning." + +"My dear sir, allow me to congratulate you!" + +"Most fortunately," continued Mr. Batterbury, with a strong +emphasis on the words, and a fixed stare at me; "most +fortunately, the servant had been careless enough to leave a +large bundle of clothes for the wash at the foot of the stairs, +while she went to answer the door. Falling headlong from the +landing, her ladyship pitched (pardon me the expression)--pitched +into the very middle of the bundle. She was a little shaken at +the time, but is reported to be going on charmingly this morning. +Most fortunate, was it not? Seen the papers? Awful news from +Demerara--the yellow fever--" + +"I wish I was at Demerara," I said, in a hollow voice. + +"You! Why?" exclaimed Mr. Batterbury, aghast. + +"I am homeless, friendless, penniless," I went on, getting more +hollow at every word. "All my intellectual instincts tell me that +I could retrieve my position and live respectably in the world, +if I might only try my hand at portrait-painting--the thing of +all others that I am naturally fittest for. But I have nobody to +start me; no sitter to give me a first chance; nothing in my +pocket but three-and-sixpence; and nothing in my mind but a doubt +whether I shall struggle on a little longer, or end it +immediately in the Thames. Don't let me detain you from your +walk, my dear sir. I'm afraid Lady Malkinshaw will outlive me, +after all!" + +"Stop!" cried Mr. Batterbury; his mahogany face actually getting +white with alarm. "Stop! Don't talk in that dreadfully +unprincipled manner--don't, I implore, I insist! You have plenty +of friends--you have me, and your sister. Take to +portrait-painting--think of your family, and take to +portrait-painting!" + +"Where am I to get a sitter?' I inquired, with a gloomy shake of +the head. + +"Me," said Mr. Batterbury, with an effort. "I'll be your first +sitter. As a beginner, and especially to a member of the family, +I suppose your terms will be moderate. Small beginnings--you know +the proverb?" Here he stopped; and a miserly leer puckered up his +mahogany cheeks. + +"I'll do you, life-size, down to your waistcoat, for fifty +pounds," said I. + +Mr. Batterbury winced, and looked about him to the right and +left, as if he wanted to run away. He had five thousand a year, +but he contrived to took, at that moment, as if his utmost income +was five hundred. I walked on a few steps. + +"Surely those terms are rather high to begin with?" he said, +walking after me. "I should have thought five-and-thirty, or +perhaps forty--" + +"A gentleman, sir, cannot condescend to bargain," said I, with +mournful dignity. "Farewell!" I waved my hand, and crossed over +the way. + +"Don't do that!" cried Mr. Batterbury. "I accept. Give me your +address. I'll come tomorrow. Will it include the frame! There! +there! it doesn't include the frame, of course. Where are you +going now? To the colorman? He doesn't live in the Strand, I +hope--or near one of the bridges. Think of Annabella, think of +the family, think of the fifty pounds--an income, a year's income +to a prudent man. Pray, pray be careful, and compose your mind: +promise me, my dear, dear fellow--promise me, on your word of +honor, to compose your mind!" + +I left him still harping on that string, and suffering, I +believe, the only serious attack of mental distress that had ever +affected him in the whole course of his life. + + + +Behold me, then, now starting afresh in the world, in the +character of a portrait-painter; with the payment of my +remuneration from my first sitter depending whimsically on the +life of my grandmother. If you care to know how Lady Malkinshaw's +health got on, and how I succeeded in my new profession, you have +only to follow the further course of these confessions, in the +next chapter. + +CHAPTER IV. + +I GAVE my orders to the colorman, and settled matters with my +friend the artist that day. + +The next morning, before the hour at which I expected my sitter, +having just now as much interest in the life of Lady Malkinshaw +as Mr. Batterbury had in her death, I went to make kind inquiries +after her ladyship's health. The answer was most reassuring. Lady +Malkinshaw had no present intention of permitting me to survive +her. She was, at that very moment, meritoriously and heartily +engaged in eating her breakfast. My prospects being now of the +best possible kind, l felt encouraged to write once more to my +father, telling him of my fresh start in life, and proposing a +renewal of our acquaintance. I regret to say that he was so rude +as not to answer my letter. + +Mr. Batterbury was punctual to the moment. He gave a gasp of +relief when he beheld me, full of life, with my palette on my +thumb, gazing fondly on my new canvas. + +"That's right!" he said. "I like to see you with your mind +composed. Annabella would have come with me; but she has a little +headache this morning. She sends her love and best wishes." + +I seized my chalks and began with that confidence in myself which +has never forsaken me in any emergency. Being perfectly well +aware of the absolute dependence of the art of portrait-painting +on the art of flattery, I determined to start with making the +mere outline of my likeness a compliment to my sitter. + +It was much easier to resolve on doing this than really to do it. +In the first place, my hand would relapse into its wicked old +caricaturing habits. In the second place, my brother-in-law's +face was so inveterately and completely ugly as to set every +artifice of pictorial improvement at flat defiance. When a man +has a nose an inch long, with the nostrils set perpendicularly, +it is impossible to flatter it--you must either change it into a +fancy nose, or resignedly acquiesce in it. When a man has no +perceptible eyelids, and when his eyes globularly project so far +out of his head, that you expect to have to pick them up for him +whenever you see him lean forward, how are mortal fingers and +bushes to diffuse the right complimentary expression over them? +You must either do them the most hideous and complete justice, or +give them up altogether. The late Sir Thomas Lawrence, P.R.A., +was undoubtedly the most artful and uncompromising flatterer that +ever smoothed out all the natural characteristic blemishes from a +sitter's face; but even that accomplished parasite would have +found Mr. Batterbury too much for him, and would have been +driven, for the first time in his practice of art, to the +uncustomary and uncourtly resource of absolutely painting a +genuine likeness. + +As for me, I put my trust in Lady Malkinshaw's power of living, +and portrayed the face of Mr. Batterbury in all its native +horror. At the same time, I sensibly guarded against even the +most improbable accidents, by making him pay me the fifty pounds +as we went on, by installments. We had ten sittings. Each one of +them began with a message from Mr. Batterbury, giving me +Annabella's love and apologies for not being able to come and see +me. Each one of them ended with an argument between Mr. +Batterbury and me relative to the transfer of five pounds from +his pocket to mine. I came off victorious on every +occasion--being backed by the noble behavior of Lady Malkinshaw, +who abstained from tumb ling down, and who ate and drank, and +slept and grew lusty, for three weeks together. Venerable woman! +She put fifty pounds into my pocket. I shall think of her with +gratitude and respect to the end of my days. + +One morning, while I was sitting before my completed portrait, +inwardly shuddering over the ugliness of it, a suffocating smell +of musk was wafted into the studio; it was followed by a sound of +rustling garments; and that again was succeeded by the personal +appearance of my affectionate sister, with her husband at her +heels. Annabella had got to the end of her stock of apologies, +and had come to see me. + +She put her handkerchief to her nose the moment she entered the +room. + +"How do you do, Frank? Don't kiss me: you smell of paint, and I +can't bear it." + +I felt a similar antipathy to the smell of musk, and had not the +slightest intention of kissing her; but I was too gallant a man +to say so; and I only begged her to favor me by looking at her +husband's portrait. + +Annabella glanced all round the room, with her handkerchief still +at her nose, and gathered her magnificent silk dress close about +her superb figure with her disengaged hand. + +"What a horrid place!" she said faintly behind her handkerchief. +"Can't you take some of the paint away? I'm sure there's oil on +the floor. How am I to get past that nasty table with the palette +on it? Why can't you bring the picture down to the carriage, +Frank?" + +Advancing a few steps, and looking suspiciously about her while +she spoke, her eyes fell on the chimney-piece. An eau-de-Cologne +bottle stood upon it, which she took up immediately with a +languishing sigh. + +It contained turpentine for washing brushes in. Before I could +warn her, she had sprinkled herself absently with half the +contents of the bottle. In spite of all the musk that now filled +the room, the turpentine betrayed itself almost as soon as I +cried "Stop!" Annabella, with a shriek of disgust, flung the +bottle furiously into the fireplace. Fortunately it was +summer-time, or I might have had to echo the shriek with a cry of +"Fire!" + +"You wretch! you brute! you low, mischievous, swindling +blackguard!" cried my amiable sister, shaking her skirts with all +her might, "you have done this on purpose! Don't tell me! I know +you have. What do you mean by pestering me to come to this +dog-kennel of a place?" she continued, turning fiercely upon the +partner of her existence and legitimate receptacle of all her +superfluous wrath. "What do you mean by bringing me here, to see +how you have been swindled? Yes, sir, swindled! He has no more +idea of painting than you have. He has cheated you out of your +money. If he was starving tomorrow he would be the last man in +England to make away with himself--he is too great a wretch--he +is too vicious--he is too lost to all sense of respectability--he +is too much of a discredit to his family. Take me away! Give me +your arm directly! I told you not to go near him from the first. +This is what comes of your horrid fondness for money. Suppose +Lady Malkinshaw does outlive him; suppose I do lose my legacy. +What is three thousand pounds to you? My dress is ruined. My +shawl's spoiled. _He_ die! If the old woman lives to the age of +Methuselah, he won't die. Give me your arm. No! Go to my father. +I want medical advice. My nerves are torn to pieces. I m giddy, +faint, sick--SICK, Mr. Batterbury!" + +Here she became hysterical, and vanished, leaving a mixed odor of +musk and turpentine behind her, which preserved the memory of her +visit for nearly a week afterward. + +"Another scene in the drama of my life seems likely to close in +before long," thought I. "No chance now of getting my amiable +sister to patronize struggling genius. Do I know of anybody else +who will sit to me? No, not a soul. Having thus no portraits of +other people to paint, what is it my duty, as a neglected artist, +to do next? Clearly to take a portrait of myself." + +I did so, making my own likeness quite a pleasant relief to the +ugliness of my brother-in-law's. It was my intention to send both +portraits to the Royal Academy Exhibition, to get custom, and +show the public generally what I could do. I knew the institution +with which I had to deal, and called my own likeness, Portrait of +a Nobleman. + +That dexterous appeal to the tenderest feelings of my +distinguished countrymen very nearly succeeded. The portrait of +Mr. Batterbury (much the more carefully-painted picture of the +two) was summarily turned out. The Portrait of a Nobleman was +politely reserved to be hung up, if the Royal Academicians could +possibly find room for it. They could not. So that picture also +vanished back into the obscurity of the artist's easel. Weak and +well-meaning people would have desponded under these +circumstances; but your genuine Rogue is a man of elastic +temperament, not easily compressible under any pressure of +disaster. I sent the portrait of Mr. Batterbury to the house of +that distinguished patron, and the Portrait of a Nobleman to the +Pawnbroker's. After this I had plenty of elbow-room in the +studio, and could walk up and down briskly, smoking my pipe, and +thinking about what I should do next. + +I had observed that the generous friend and vagabond brother +artist, whose lodger I now was, never seemed to be in absolute +want of money; and yet the walls of his studio informed me that +nobody bought his pictures. There hung all his great works, +rejected by the Royal Academy, and neglected by the patrons of +Art; and there, nevertheless, was he, blithely plying the brush; +not rich, it is true, but certainly never without money enough in +his pocket for the supply of all his modest wants. Where did he +find his resources? I determined to ask him the question the very +next time he came to the studio. + +"Dick," I said (we called each other by our Christian names), +"where do you get your money?" + +"Frank," he answered, "what makes you ask that question?" + +"Necessity," I proceeded. "My stock of money is decreasing, and I +don't know how to replenish it. My pictures have been turned out +of the exhibition-rooms; nobody comes to sit to me; I can't make +a farthing; and I must try another line in the Arts, or leave +your studio. We are old friends now. I've paid you honestly week +by week; and if you can oblige me, I think you ought. You earn +money somehow. Why can't I?" + +"Are you at all particular?" asked Dick. + +"Not in the least," I answered. + +Dick nodded, and looked pleased; handed me my hat, and put on his +own. + +"You are just the sort of man I like," he remarked, "and I would +sooner trust you than any one else I know. You ask how I contrive +to earn money, seeing that all my pictures are still in my own +possession. My dear fellow, whenever my pockets are empty, and I +want a ten-pound note to put into them, I make an Old Master." + +I stared hard at him, not at first quite understanding what he +meant. + +"The Old Master I can make best," continued Dick, "is Claude +Lorraine, whom you may have heard of occasionally as a famous +painter of classical landscapes. I don't exactly know (he has +been dead so long) how many pictures he turned out, from first to +last; but we will say, for the sake of argument, five hundred. +Not five of these are offered for sale, perhaps, in the course of +five years. Enlightened collectors of old pictures pour into the +market by fifties, while genuine specimens of Claude, or of any +other Old Master you like to mention, only dribble in by ones and +twos. Under these circumstances, what is to be done? Are +unoffending owners of galleries to be subjected to +disappointment? Or are the works of Claude, and the other +fellows, to be benevolently increased in number, to supply the +wants of persons of taste and quality? No man of humanity but +must lean to the latter alternative. The collectors, observe, +don't know anything about it--they buy Claude (to take an +instance from my own practice) as they buy all the other Old +Masters, because of his reputation, not because of the pleasure +they get from his works. Give them a picture with a good large +ruin, fancy trees, prancing nymphs, and a watery sky; dirty it +down dexterously to the right pitch; put it in an old frame; call +it a Claude; and the sphere of the Old Master is enlarged, the +collector is delighted, the picture-dealer is enriched, and the +neglected modern artist claps a joyful hand on a well-filled +pocket. Some men have a knack at making Rembrandts, others have a +turn for Raphaels, Titians, Cuyps, Watteaus, and the rest of +them. Anyhow, we are all made happy--all pleased with each +other--all benefited alike. Kindness is propagated and money is +dispersed. Come along, my boy, and make an Old Master!" + +CHAPTER V. + +HE led the way into the street as he spoke. I felt the +irresistible force of his logic. I sympathized with the ardent +philanthropy of his motives. I burned with a noble ambition to +extend the sphere of the Old Masters. In short, I took the tide +at the flood, and followed Dick. + +We plunged into some by-streets, struck off sharp into a court, +and entered a house by a back door. A little old gentleman in a +black velvet dressing-gown met us in the passage. Dick instantly +presented me: "Mr. Frank Softly--Mr. Ishmael Pickup." The little +old gentleman stared at me distrustfully. I bowed to him with +that inexorable politeness which I first learned under the +instructive fist of Gentleman Jones, and which no force of +adverse circumstances has ever availed to mitigate in after life. +Mr. Ishmael Pickup followed my lead. There is not the least need +to describe him--he was a Jew. + +"Go into the front show-room, and look at the pictures, while I +speak to Mr. Pickup," said Dick, familiarly throwing open a door, +and pushing me into a kind of gallery beyond. I found myself +quite alone, surrounded by modern-antique pictures of all schools +and sizes, of all degrees of dirt and dullness, with all the +names of all the famous Old Masters, from Titian to Teniers, +inscribed on their frames. A "pearly little gem," by Claude, with +a ticket marked "Sold" stuck into the frame, particularly +attracted my attention. It was Dick's last ten-pound job; and it +did credit to the youthful master's abilities as a workman-like +maker of Claudes. + +I have been informed that, since the time of which I am writing, +the business of gentlemen of Mr. Pickup's class has rather fallen +off, and that there are dealers in pictures, nowadays, who are as +just and honorable men as can be found in any profession or +calling, anywhere under the sun. This change, which I report with +sincerity and reflect on with amazement, is, as I suspect, mainly +the result of certain wholesale modern improvements in the +position of contemporary Art, which have necessitated +improvements and alterations in the business of picture-dealing. + +In my time, the encouragers of modern painting were limited in +number to a few noblemen and gentlemen of ancient lineage, who, +in matters of taste, at least, never presumed to think for +themselves. They either inherited or bought a gallery more or +less full of old pictures. It was as much a part of their +education to put their faith in these on hearsay evidence, as to +put their faith in King, Lords and Commons. It was an article of +their creed to believe that the dead painters were the great men, +and that the more the living painters imitated the dead, the +better was their chance of becoming at some future day, and in a +minor degree, great also. At certain times and seasons, these +noblemen and gentlemen self-distrustfully strayed into the +painting-room of a modern artist, self-distrustfully allowed +themselves to be rather attracted by his pictures, +self-distrustfully bought one or two of them at prices which +would appear so incredibly low, in these days, that I really +cannot venture to quote them. The picture was sent home; the +nobleman or gentleman (almost always an amiable and a hospitable +man) would ask the artist to his house and introduce him to the +distinguished individuals who frequented it; but would never +admit his picture, on terms of equality, into the society even of +the second-rate Old Masters. His work was hung up in any +out-of-the-way corner of the gallery that could be found; it had +been bought under protest; it was admitted by sufferance; its +freshness and brightness damaged it terribly by contrast with the +dirtiness and the dinginess of its elderly predecessors; and its +only points selected for praise were those in which it most +nearly resembled the peculiar mannerism of some Old Master, not +those in which it resembled the characteristics of the old +mistress--Nature. + +The unfortunate artist had no court of appeal that he could turn +to. Nobody beneath the nobleman, or the gentleman of ancient +lineage, so much as thought of buying a modern picture. Nobody +dared to whisper that the Art of painting had in anywise been +improved or worthily enlarged in its sphere by any modern +professors. For one nobleman who was ready to buy one genuine +modern picture at a small price, there were twenty noblemen ready +to buy twenty more than doubtful old pictures at great prices. +The consequence was, that some of the most famous artists of the +English school, whose pictures are now bought at auction sales +for fabulous sums, were then hardly able to make an income. They +were a scrupulously patient and conscientious body of men, who +would as soon have thought of breaking into a house, or +equalizing the distribution of wealth, on the highway, by the +simple machinery of a horse and pistol, as of making Old Masters +to order. They sat resignedly in their lonely studios, surrounded +by unsold pictures which have since been covered again and again +with gold and bank-notes by eager buyers at auctions and +show-rooms, whose money has gone into other than the painter's +pockets---who have never dreamed that the painter had the +smallest moral right to a farthing of it. Year after year, these +martyrs of the brush stood, palette in hand, fighting the old +battle of individual merit against contemporary +dullness--fighting bravely, patiently, independently; and leaving +to Mr. Pickup and his pupils a complete monopoly of all the +profit which could be extracted, in their line of business, from +the feebly-buttoned pocket of the patron, and the inexhaustible +credulity of the connoisseur. + +Now all this is changed. Traders and makers of all kinds of +commodities have effected a revolution in the picture-world, +never dreamed of by the noblemen and gentlemen of ancient +lineage, and consistently protested against to this day by the +very few of them who still remain alive. + +The daring innovators started with the new notion of buying a +picture which they themselves could admire and appreciate, and +for the genuineness of which the artist was still living to +vouch. These rough and ready customers were not to be led by +rules or frightened by precedents; they were not to be easily +imposed upon, for the article they wanted was not to be easily +counterfeited. Sturdily holding to their own opinions, they +thought incessant repetitions of Saints, Martyrs, and Holy +Families, monotonous and uninteresting--and said so. They thought +little pictures of ugly Dutch women scouring pots, and drunken +Dutchmen playing cards, dirty and dear at the price--and said so. +They saw that trees were green in nature, and brown in the Old +Masters, and they thought the latter color not an improvement on +the former--and said so. They wanted interesting subjects; +variety, resemblance to nature; genuineness of the article, and +fresh paint; they had no ancestors whose feelings, as founders of +galleries, it was necessary to consult; no critical gentlemen and +writers of valuable works to snub them when they were in spirits; +nothing to lead them by the nose but their own shrewdness, their +own interests, and their own tastes--so they turned their backs +valiantly on the Old Masters, and marched off in a body to the +living men. + +From that time good modern pictures have risen in the scale. Even +as articles of commerce and safe investments for money, they have +now (as some disinterested collectors who dine at certain annual +dinners I know of, can testify) distanced the old pictures in the +race. The modern painters who have survived the brunt of the +battle, have lived to see pictures for which they once asked +hundreds, selling for thousands, and the young generation making +incomes by the brush in one year, which it would have cost the +old heroes of the easel ten to accumulate. The posterity of Mr. +Pickup still do a tolerable stroke of business (making bright +modern masters for the market which is glutted with the dingy old +material), and will, probably, continue to thrive and multiply in +the future: the one venerable institution of this world which we +can safely count upon as likely to last, being the institution of +human folly. Nevertheless, if a wise man of the reformed taste +wants a modern picture, there are places for him to go to now +where he may be sure of getting it genuine; where, if the artist +is not alive to vouch for his work, the facts at any rate have +not had time to die which vouch for the dealer who sells it. In +my time matters were rather different. The painters _we_ throve +by had died long enough ago for pedigrees to get confused, and +identities disputable; and if I had been desirous of really +purchasing a genuine Old Master for myself--speaking as a +practical man--I don't know where I should have gone to ask for +one, or whose judgment I could have safely relied on to guard me +from being cheated, before I bought it. + + + +We are stopping a long time in the picture-gallery, you will say. +I am very sorry--but we must stay a little longer, for the sake +of a living picture, the gem of the collection. + +I was still admiring Mr. Pickup's Old Masters, when a dirty +little boy opened the door of the gallery, and introduced a young +lady. + +My heart--fancy my having a heart!--gave one great bound in me. I +recognized the charming person whom I had followed in the street. + +Her veil was not down this time. All the beauty of her large, +soft, melancholy, brown eyes beamed on me. Her delicate +complexion became suddenly suffused with a lovely rosy flush. Her +glorious black hair--no! I will make an effort, I will suppress +my ecstasies. Let me only say that she evidently recognized me. +Will you believe it?--I felt myself coloring as I bowed to her. I +never blushed before in my life. What a very curious sensation it +is! + +The horrid boy claimed her attention with a grin. + +"Master's engaged," he said. "Please to wait here." + +"I don't wish to disturb Mr. Pickup," she answered. + +What a voice! No! I am drifting back into ecstasies: her voice +was worthy of her--I say no more. + +"If you will be so kind as to show him this," she proceeded; "he +knows what it is. And please say, my father is very ill and very +anxious. It will be quite enough if Mr. Pickup will only send me +word by you--Yes or No." + +She gave the boy an oblong slip of stamped paper. Evidently a +promissory note. An angel on earth, sent by an inhuman father, to +ask a Jew for discount! Monstrous! + +The boy disappeared with the message. + +I seized my opportunity of speaking to her. Don't ask me what I +said! Never before (or since) have I talked such utter nonsense, +with such intense earnestness of purpose and such immeasurable +depth of feeling. Do pray remember what you said yourself, the +first time you had the chance of opening your heart to _your_ +young lady. The boy returned before I had half done, and gave her +back the odious document. + +"Mr. Pickup's very sorry, miss. The answer is, No." + +She lost all her lovely color, and sighed, and turned away. As +she pulled down her veil, I saw the tears in her eyes. Did that +piteous spectacle partially deprive me of my senses? I actually +entreated her to let me be of some use--as if I had been an old +friend, with money enough in my pocket to discount the note +myself. She brought me back to my senses with the utmost +gentleness. + +"I am afraid you forget, sir, that we are strangers. +Good-morning." + +I followed her to the door. I asked leave to call on her father, +and satisfy him about myself and my family connections. She only +answered that her father was too ill to see visitors. I went out +with her on to the landing. She turned on me sharply for the +first time. + +"You can see for yourself, sir, that I am in great distress. I +appeal to you, as a gentleman, to spare me." + +If you still doubt whether I was really in love, let the facts +speak for themselves. I hung my head, and let her go. + +When I returned alone to the picture-gallery--when I remembered +that I had not even had the wit to improve my opportunity by +discovering her name and address--I did really and seriously ask +myself if these were the first symptoms of softening of the +brain. I got up, and sat down again. I, the most audacious man of +my age in London, had behaved like a bashful boy! Once more I had +lost her--and this time, also, I had nobody but myself to blame +for it. + +These melancholy meditations were interrupted by the appearance +of my friend, the artist, in the picture-gallery. He approached +me confidentially, and spoke in a mysterious whisper. + +"Pickup is suspicious," he said; "and I have had all the +difficulty in the world to pave your way smoothly for you at the +outset. However, if you can contrive to make a small Rembrandt, +as a specimen, you may consider yourself employed here until +further notice. I am obliged to particularize Rembrandt, because +he is the only Old Master disengaged at present. The professional +gentleman who used to do him died the other day in the Fleet--he +had a turn for Rembrandts, and can't be easily replaced. Do you +think you could step into his shoes? It's a peculiar gift, like +an ear for music, or a turn for mathematics. Of course you will +be put up to the simple elementary rules, and will have the +professional gentleman's last Rembrandt as a guide; the rest +depends, my dear friend, on your powers of imitation. Don't be +discouraged by failures, but try again and again; and mind you +are dirty and dark enough. You have heard a great deal about the +light and shade of Rembrandt-- Remember always that, in your +case, light means dusky yellow, and shade dense black; remember +that, and--" + +"No pay," said the voice of Mr. Pickup behind me; "no pay, my +dear, unlesh your Rembrandt ish good enough to take me in--even +me, Ishmael, who dealsh in pictersh and knowsh what'sh what." + +What did I care about Rembrandt at that moment? I was thinking of +my lost young lady; and I should probably have taken no notice of +Mr. Pickup, if it had not occurred to me that the old wretch must +know her father's name and address. I at once put the question. +The Jew grinned, and shook his grisly head. "Her father'sh in +difficultiesh, and mum's the word, my dear." To that answer he +adhered, in spite of all that I could say to him. + +With equal obstinacy I determined, sooner or later, to get my +information. + +I took service under Mr. Pickup, purposing to make myself +essential to his prosperity, in a commercial sense--and then to +threaten him with offering my services to a rival manufacturer of +Old Masters, unless he trusted me with the secret of the name and +address. My plan looked promising enough at the time. But, as +some wise person has said, Man is the sport of circumstances. Mr. +Pickup and I parted company unexpectedly, on compulsion. And, of +all the people in the world, my grandmother, Lady Malkinshaw, was +the unconscious first cause of the events which brought me and +the beloved object together again, for the third time! + +CHAPTER VI. + +ON the next day, I was introduced to the Jew's workshop, and to +the eminent gentlemen occupying it. My model Rembrandt was put +before me; the simple elementary rules were explained; and my +materials were all placed under my hands. + +Regard for the lovers of the Old Masters, and for the moral +well-being of society, forbids me to be particular about the +nature of my labors, or to go into dangerous detail on the +subject of my first failures and my subsequent success. I may, +however, harmlessly admit that my Rembrandt was to be of the +small or cabinet size, and that, as there was a run on +Burgomasters just then, my subject was naturally to be of the +Burgomaster sort. Three parts of my picture consisted entirely of +different shades of dirty brown and black; the fourth being +composed of a ray of yellow light falling upon the wrinkled face +of a treacle-colored old man. A dim glimpse of a hand, and a +faint suggestion of something like a brass washhand + basin, completed the job, which gave great satisfaction to Mr. +Pickup, and which was described in the catalogue as-- + + + +"A Burgomaster at Breakfast. Originally in the collection of +Mynheer Van Grubb. Amsterdam. A rare example of the master. Not +engraved. The chiar'oscuro in this extraordinary work is of a +truly sublime character. Price, Two Hundred Guineas." + + + +I got five pounds for it. I suppose Mr. Pickup got +one-ninety-five. + +This was perhaps not very encouraging as a beginning, in a +pecuniary point of view. But I was to get five pounds more, if my +Rembrandt sold within a given time. It sold a week after it was +in a fit state to be trusted in the showroom. I got my money, and +began enthusiastically on another Rembrandt--"A Burgomaster's +Wife Poking the Fire." Last time, the chiar'oscuro of the master +had been yellow and black, this time it was to be red and black. +I was just on the point of forcing my way into Mr. Pickup's +confidence, as I had resolved, when a catastrophe happened, which +shut up the shop and abruptly terminated my experience as a maker +of Old Masters. + +"The Burgomaster's Breakfast" had been sold to a new customer, a +venerable connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large +picture-gallery. The old gentleman was in raptures with the +picture--with its tone, with its breadth, with its grand feeling +for effect, with its simple treatment of detail. It wanted +nothing, in his opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. Pickup knew +the raw and ticklish state of the surface, however, far too well, +to allow of even an attempt at performing this process, and +solemnly asserted, that he was acquainted with no cleansing +preparation which could be used on the Rembrandt without danger +of "flaying off the last exquisite glazings of the immortal +master's brush." The old gentleman was quite satisfied with this +reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away his +purchase in his own carriage on the spot. + +For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that +time, a Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer's +office, terrified us all by the information that a gentleman +related to our venerable connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had +pronounced it to be an impudent counterfeit, and had engaged on +his own account to have the picture tested in a court of law, and +to charge the seller and maker thereof with conspiring to obtain +money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I looked at each +other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable piece of +news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my +faculties first; and I was the man who solved that important and +difficult question, while the rest were still utterly bewildered +by it. "Will you promise me five and twenty pounds in the +presence of these gentlemen if I get you out of this scrape?" +said I to my terrified employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty +hands and answered, "Yesh, my dear!" + +Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office +of the lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case +against us; and he was able to tell me some of the things I most +wanted to know in relation to the picture. + +I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our +customer's possession. The old gentleman had consented to the +question of its genuineness being tried, but had far too high an +idea of his own knowledge as a connoisseur to incline to the +opinion that he had been taken in. His suspicious relative was +not staying in the house, but was in the habit of visiting him, +every day, in the forenoon. That was as much as I wanted to know +from others. The rest depended on myself, on luck, time, human +credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge which I had +acquired in the days of my medical studies. I left the conclave +at the picture-dealer's forthwith, and purchased at the nearest +druggist's a bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I +decline to particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the +bottle "The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound"; and I wrapped round it +the following note: + + + +"Mr. Pickup's respectful compliments to Mr.--(let us say, Green). +Is rejoiced to state that he finds himself unexpectedly able to +forward Mr. Green's views relative to the cleaning of 'The +Burgomaster's Breakfast.' The inclosed compound has just reached +him from Amsterdam. It is made from a recipe found among the +papers of Rembrandt himself--has been used with the most +astonishing results on the Master's pictures in every gallery of +Holland, and is now being applied to the surface of the largest +Rembrandt in Mr. P.'s own collection. Directions for use: Lay the +picture flat, pour the whole contents of the bottle over it +gently, so as to flood the entire surface; leave the liquid on +the surface for six hours, then wipe it off briskly with a soft +cloth of as large a size as can be conveniently used. The effect +will be the most wonderful removal of all dirt, and a complete +and brilliant metamorphosis of the present dingy surface of the +picture." + + + +I left this note and the bottle myself at two o'clock that day; +then went home, and confidently awaited the result. + +The next morning our friend from the office called, announcing +himself by a burst of laughter outside the door. Mr. Green had +implicitly followed the directions in the letter the moment he +received it--had allowed the "Amsterdam Cleansing Compound" to +remain on the Rembrandt until eight o'clock in the evening--had +called for the softest linen cloth in the whole house--and had +then, with his own venerable hands, carefully wiped off the +compound, and with it the whole surface of the picture! The +brown, the black, the Burgomaster, the breakfast, and the ray of +yellow light, all came clean off together in considerably less +than a minute of time. If the picture, was brought into court +now, the evidence it could give against us was limited to a bit +of plain panel, and a mass of black pulp rolled up in a duster. + +Our line of defense was, of course, that the compound had been +improperly used. For the rest, we relied with well-placed +confidence on the want of evidence against us. Mr. Pickup wisely +closed his shop for a while, and went off to the Continent to +ransack the foreign galleries. I received my five and twenty +pounds, rubbed out the beginning of my second Rembrandt, closed +the back door of the workshop behind me, and there was another +scene of my life at an end. I had but one circumstance to +regret--and I did regret it bitterly. I was still as ignorant as +ever of the young lady's name and address. + +My first visit was to the studio of my excellent artist-friend, +whom I have already presented to the reader under the sympathetic +name of "Dick." He greeted me with a letter in his hand. It was +addressed to me--it had been left at the studio a few days since; +and (marvel of all marvels!) the handwriting was Mr. +Batterbury's. Had this philanthropic man not done befriending me +even yet? Were there any present or prospective advantages to be +got out of him still? Read his letter, and judge. + + + +"SIR--Although you have forfeited by your ungentlemanly conduct +toward myself, and your heartlessly mischievous reception of my +dear wife, all claim upon the forbearance of the most forbearing +of your relatives, I am disposed, from motives of regard for the +tranquillity of Mrs. Batterbury's family, and of sheer +good-nature so far as I am myself concerned, to afford you one +more chance of retrieving your position by leading a respectable +life. The situation I am enabled to offer you is that of +secretary to a new Literary and Scientific Institution, about to +be opened in the town of Duskydale, near which neighborhood I +possess, as you must be aware, some landed property. The office +has been placed at my disposal, as vice-president of the new +Institution. The salary is fifty pounds a year, with apartments +on the attic-floor of the building. The duties are various, and +will be explained to you by the local committee, if you choose to +present yourself to them with the inclosed letter of +introduction. After the unscrupulous manner in which you have +imposed on my liberality by deceiving me into giving you fifty +pounds for a n audacious caricature of myself, which it is +impossible to hang up in any room of the house, I think this +instance of my forgiving disposition still to befriend you, after +all that has happened, ought to appeal to any better feelings +that you may still have left, and revive the long dormant +emotions of repentance and self-reproach, when you think on your +obedient servant, + + +"DANIEL BATTERBURY." + +Bless me! What A long-winded style, and what a fuss about fifty +pounds a year, and a bed in an attic! These were naturally the +first emotions which Mr. Batterbury's letter produced in me. What +was his real motive for writing it? I hope nobody will do me so +great an injustice as to suppose that I hesitated for one instant +about the way of finding _that_ out. Of course I started off +directly to inquire if Lady Malkinshaw had had another narrow +escape of dying before me. + +"Much better, sir," answered my grandmother's venerable butler, +wiping his lips carefully before he spoke; "her ladyship's health +has been much improved since her accident." + +"Accident!" I exclaimed. "What, another? Lately? Stairs again?" + +"No, sir; the drawing-room window this time," answered the +butler, with semi-tipsy gravity. "Her ladyship's sight having +been defective of late years, occasions her some difficulty in +calculating distances. Three days ago, her ladyship went to look +out of the window, and, miscalculating the distance--" Here the +butler, with a fine dramatic feeling for telling a story, stopped +just before the climax of the narrative, and looked me in the +face with an expression of the deepest sympathy. + +"And miscalculating the distance?" I repeated impatiently. + +"Put her head through a pane of glass," said the butler, in a +soft voice suited to the pathetic nature of the communication. +"By great good fortune her ladyship had been dressed for the day, +and had got her turban on. This saved her ladyship's head. But +her ladyship's neck, sir, had a very narrow escape. A bit of the +broken glass wounded it within half a quarter of an inch of the +carotty artery" (meaning, probably, carotid); "I heard the +medical gentleman say, and shall never forget it to my dying day, +that her ladyship's life had been saved by a hair-breadth. As it +was, the blood lost (the medical gentleman said that, too, sir) +was accidentally of the greatest possible benefit, being +apoplectic, in the way of clearing out the system. Her ladyship's +appetite has been improved ever since--the carriage is out airing +of her at this very moment--likewise, she takes the footman's arm +and the maid's up and downstairs now, which she never would hear +of before this last accident. 'I feel ten years younger' (those +were her ladyship's own words to me, this very day), 'I feel ten +years younger, Vokins, since I broke the drawing-room window.' +And her ladyship looks it!" + +No doubt. Here was the key to Mr. Batterbury's letter of +forgiveness. His chance of receiving the legacy looked now +further off than ever; he could not feel the same confidence as +his wife in my power of living down any amount of starvation and +adversity; and he was, therefore, quite ready to take the first +opportunity of promoting my precious personal welfare and +security, of which he could avail himself, without spending a +farthing of money. I saw it all clearly, and admired the +hereditary toughness of the Malkinshaw family more gratefully +than ever. What should I do? Go to Duskydale? Why not? It didn't +matter to me where I went, now that I had no hope of ever seeing +those lovely brown eyes again. + +I got to my new destination the next day, presented my +credentials, gave myself the full advantage of my high +connections, and was received with enthusiasm and distinction. + +I found the new Institution torn by internal schisms even before +it was opened to the public. Two factious governed it--a grave +faction and a gay faction. Two questions agitated it: the first +referring to the propriety of celebrating the opening season by a +public ball, and the second to the expediency of admitting novels +into the library. The grim Puritan interest of the whole +neighborhood was, of course, on the grave side--against both +dancing and novels, as proposed by local loose thinkers and +latitudinarians of every degree. I was officially introduced to +the debate at the height of the squabble; and found myself one of +a large party in a small room, sitting round a long table, each +man of us with a new pewter inkstand, a new quill pen, and a +clean sheet of foolscap paper before him. Seeing that everybody +spoke, I got on my legs along with the rest, and made a slashing +speech on the loose-thinking side. I was followed by the leader +of the grim faction--an unlicked curate of the largest +dimensions. + +"If there were, so to speak, no other reason against dancing," +said my reverend opponent, "there is one unanswerable objection +to it. Gentlemen! John the Baptist lost his head through +dancing!"' + +Every man of the grim faction hammered delightedly on the table, +as that formidable argument was produced; and the curate sat down +in triumph. I jumped up to reply, amid the counter-cheering of +the loose-thinkers; but before I could say a word the President +of the Institution and the rector of the parish came into the +room. + +They were both men of authority, men of sense, and fathers of +charming daughters, and they turned the scale on the right side +in no time. The question relating to the admission of novels was +postponed, and the question of dancing or no dancing was put to +the vote on the spot. The President, the rector and myself, the +three handsomest and highest-bred men in the assembly, led the +way on the liberal side, waggishly warning all gallant gentlemen +present to beware of disappointing the young ladies. This decided +the waverers, and the waverers decided the majority. My first +business, as Secretary, was the drawing out of a model card of +admission to the ball. + +My next occupation was to look at the rooms provided for me. + +The Duskydale Institution occupied a badly-repaired ten-roomed +house, with a great flimsy saloon built at one side of it, +smelling of paint and damp plaster, and called the Lecture +Theater. It was the chilliest, ugliest, emptiest, gloomiest place +I ever entered in my life; the idea of doing anything but sitting +down and crying in it seemed to me quite preposterous; but the +committee took a different view of the matter, and praised the +Lecture Theater as a perfect ballroom. The Secretary's apartments +were two garrets, asserting themselves in the most barefaced +manner, without an attempt at disguise. If I had intended to do +more than earn my first quarter's salary, I should have +complained. But as I had not the slightest intention of remaining +at Duskydale, I could afford to establish a reputation for +amiability by saying nothing. + +"Have you seen Mr. Softly, the new Secretary? A most +distinguished person, and quite an acquisition to the +neighborhood." Such was the popular opinion of me among the young +ladies and the liberal inhabitants. "Have you seen Mr. Softly, +the new Secretary? A worldly, vainglorious young man. The last +person in England to promote the interests of our new +Institution." Such was the counter-estimate of me among the +Puritan population. I report both opinions quite disinterestedly. +There is generally something to be said on either side of every +question; and, as for me, I can always hold up the scales +impartially, even when my own character is the substance weighing +in them. Readers of ancient history need not be reminded, at this +time of day, that there may be Roman virtue even in a Rogue. + +The objects, interests, and general business of the Duskydale +Institution were matters with which I never thought of troubling +myself on assuming the duties of Secretary. All my energies were +given to the arrangements connected with the opening ball. + +I was elected by acclamation to the office of general manager of +the entertainments; and I did my best to deserve the confidence +reposed in me; leaving literature and science, so far as I was +concerned, perfectly at liberty to advance themselves or not , +just as they liked. Whatever my colleagues may have done, after I +left them, nobody at Duskydale can accuse me of having ever been +accessory to the disturbing of quiet people with useful +knowledge. I took the arduous and universally neglected duty of +teaching the English people how to be amused entirely on my own +shoulders, and left the easy and customary business of making +them miserable to others. + +My unhappy countrymen! (and thrice unhappy they of the poorer +sort)--any man can preach to them, lecture to them, and form them +into classes--but where is the man who can get them to amuse +themselves? Anybody may cram their poor heads; but who will +brighten their grave faces? Don't read story-books, don't go to +plays, don't dance! Finish your long day's work and then +intoxicate your minds with solid history, revel in the +too-attractive luxury of the lecture-room, sink under the soft +temptation of classes for mutual instruction! How many potent, +grave and reverent tongues discourse to the popular ear in these +siren strains, and how obediently and resignedly this same weary +popular ear listens! What if a bold man spring up one day, crying +aloud in our social wilderness, "Play, for Heaven's sake, or you +will work yourselves into a nation of automatons! Shake a loose +leg to a lively fiddle! Women of England! drag the lecturer off +the rostrum, and the male mutual instructor out of the class, and +ease their poor addled heads of evenings by making them dance and +sing with you. Accept no offer from any man who cannot be proved, +for a year past, to have systematically lost his dignity at least +three times a week, after office hours. You, daughters of Eve, +who have that wholesome love of pleasure which is one of the +greatest adornments of the female character, set up a society for +the promotion of universal amusement, and save the British nation +from the lamentable social consequences of its own gravity!" +Imagine a voice crying lustily after this fashion--what sort of +echoes would it find?--Groans? + +I know what sort of echoes my voice found. They were so +discouraging to me, and to the frivolous minority of +pleasure-seekers, that I recommended lowering the price of +admission so as to suit the means of any decent people who were +willing to leave off money-grubbing and tear themselves from the +charms of mutual instruction for one evening at least. The +proposition was indignantly negatived by the managers of the +Institution. I am so singularly obstinate a man that I was not to +be depressed even by this. + +My next efforts to fill the ballroom could not be blamed. I +procured a local directory, put fifty tickets in my pocket, +dressed myself in nankeen pantaloons and a sky-blue coat (then +the height of fashion), and set forth to tout for dancers among +all the members of the genteel population, who, not being +notorious Puritans, had also not been so obliging as to take +tickets for the ball. There never was any pride or bashfulness +about me. Excepting certain periods of suspense and anxiety, I am +as even-tempered a Rogue as you have met with anywhere since the +days of Gil Blas. + +My temperament being opposed to doing anything with regularity, I +opened the directory at hazard, and determined to make my first +call at the first house that caught my eye. Vallombrosa Vale +Cottages. No. 1. Doctor and Miss Dulcifer. Very good. I have no +preferences. Let me sell the first two tickets there. I found the +place; I opened the garden gate; I advanced to the door, +innocently wondering what sort of people I should find inside. + +If I am asked what was the true reason for this extraordinary +activity on my part, in serving the interests of a set of people +for whom I cared nothing, I must honestly own that the loss of my +young lady was at the bottom of it. Any occupation was welcome +which kept my mind, in some degree at least, from dwelling on the +bitter disappointment that had befallen me. When I rang the bell +at No. 1, did I feel no presentiment of the exquisite surprise in +store for me? I felt nothing of the sort. The fact is, my +digestion is excellent. Presentiments are more closely connected +than is generally supposed with a weak state of stomach. + +I asked for Miss Dulcifer, and was shown into the sitting-room. + +Don't expect me to describe my sensations: hundreds of sensations +flew all over me. There she was, sitting alone, near the window! +There she was, with nimble white fingers, working a silk purse! + +The melancholy in her face and manner, when I had last seen her, +appeared no more. She was prettily dressed in maize color, and +the room was well furnished. Her father had evidently got over +his difficulties. I had been inclined to laugh at his odd name, +when I found it in the directory! Now I began to dislike it, +because it was her name, too. It was a consolation to remember +that she could change it. Would she change it for mine? + +I was the first to recover; I boldly drew a chair near her and +took her hand. + +"You see," I said, "it is of no use to try to avoid me. This is +the third time we have met. Will you receive me as a visitor, +under these extraordinary circumstances? Will you give me a +little happiness to compensate for what I have suffered since you +left me?" + +She smiled and blushed. + +"I am so surprised," she answered, "I don't know what to say." + +"Disagreeably surprised?" I asked. + +She first went on with her work, and then replied (a little +sadly, as I thought): + +"No!" + +I was ready enough to take advantage of my opportunities this +time; but she contrived with perfect politeness to stop me. She +seemed to remember with shame, poor soul, the circumstances under +which I had last seen her. + +"How do you come to be at Duskydale?" she inquired, abruptly +changing the subject. "And how did you find us out here?" + +While I was giving her the necessary explanations her father came +in. I looked at him with considerable curiosity. + +A tall stout gentleman with impressive respectability oozing out +of him at every pore--with a swelling outline of +black-waistcoated stomach, with a lofty forehead, with a smooth +double chin resting pulpily on a white cravat. Everything in +harmony about him except his eyes, and these were so sharp, +bright and resolute that they seemed to contradict the bland +conventionality which overspread all the rest of the man. Eyes +with wonderful intelligence and self-dependence in them; perhaps, +also, with something a little false in them, which I might have +discovered immediately under ordinary circumstances: but I looked +at the doctor through the medium of his daughter, and saw nothing +of him at the first glance but his merits. + +"We are both very much indebted to you, sir, for your politeness +in calling," he said, with excessive civility of manner. "But our +stay at this place has drawn to an end. I only came here for the +re-establishment of my daughter's health. She has benefited +greatly by the change of air, and we have arranged to return home +to-morrow. Otherwise, we should have gladly profited by your kind +offer of tickets for the ball." + +Of course I had one eye on the young lady while he was speaking. +She was looking at her father, and a sudden sadness was stealing +over her face. What did it mean? Disappointment at missing the +ball? No, it was a much deeper feeling than that. My interest was +excited. I addressed a complimentary entreaty to the doctor not +to take his daughter away from us. I asked him to reflect on the +irreparable eclipse that he would be casting over the Duskydale +ballroom. To my amazement, she only looked down gloomily on her +work while I spoke; her father laughed contemptuously. + +"We are too completely strangers here," he said, "for our loss to +be felt by any one. From all that I can gather, society in +Duskydale will be glad to hear of our departure. I beg your +pardon, Alicia--I ought to have said _my_ departure." + +Her name was Alicia! I declare it was a luxury to me to hear +it--the name was so appropriate, so suggestive of the grace and +dignity of her beauty. + +I turned toward her when the doctor had done. She looked more +gloomily than before. I protested against the doctor's account of +himself. He laughed again, with a quick distrustful lo ok, this +time, at his daughter. + +"If you were to mention my name among your respectable +inhabitants," he went on, with a strong, sneering emphasis on the +word respectable, "they would most likely purse up their lips and +look grave at it. Since I gave up practice as a physician, I have +engaged in chemical investigations on a large scale, destined I +hope, to lead to some important public results. Until I arrive at +these, I am necessarily obliged, in my own interests, to keep my +experiments secret, and to impose similar discretion on the +workmen whom I employ. This unavoidable appearance of mystery, +and the strictly retired life which my studies compel me to lead, +offend the narrow-minded people in my part of the county, close +to Barkingham; and the unpopularity of my pursuits has followed +me here. The general opinion, I believe, is, that I am seeking by +unholy arts for the philosopher's stone. Plain man, as you see +me, I find myself getting quite the reputation of a Doctor +Faustus in the popular mind. Even educated people in this very +place shake their heads and pity my daughter there for living +with an alchemical parent, within easy smelling-distance of an +explosive laboratory. Excessively absurd, is it not?" + +It might have been excessively absurd, but the lovely Alicia sat +with her eyes on her work, looking as if it were excessively sad, +and not giving her father the faintest answering smile when he +glanced toward her and laughed, as he said his last words. I +could not at all tell what to make of it. The doctor talked of +the social consequences of his chemical inquiries as if he were +living in the middle ages. However, I was far too anxious to see +the charming brown eyes again to ask questions which would be +sure to keep them cast down. So I changed the topic to chemistry +in general; and, to the doctor's evident astonishment and +pleasure, told him of my own early studies in the science. + +This led to the mention of my father, whose reputation had +reached the ears of Doctor Dulcifer. As he told me that, his +daughter looked up--the sun of beauty shone on me again! I +touched next on my high connections, and on Lady Malkinshaw; I +described myself as temporarily banished from home for humorous +caricaturing, and amiable youthful wildness. She was interested; +she smiled--and the sun of beauty shone warmer than ever! I +diverged to general topics, and got brilliant and amusing. She +laughed--the nightingale notes of her merriment bubbled into my +ears caressingly--why could I not shut my eyes and listen to +them? Her color rose; her face grew animated. Poor soul! A little +lively company was but too evidently a rare treat to her. Under +such circumstances, who would not be amusing? If she had said to +me, "Mr. Softly, I like tumbling," I should have made a clown of +myself on the spot. I should have stood on my head (if I could), +and been amply rewarded for the graceful exertion, if the eyes of +Alicia had looked kindly on my elevated heels! + +How long I stayed is more than I can tell. Lunch came up. I eat +and drank, and grew more amusing than ever. When I at last rose +to go, the brown eyes looked on me very kindly, and the doctor +gave me his card. + +"If you don't mind trusting yourself in the clutches of Doctor +Faustus," he said, with a gay smile, "I shall be delighted to see +you if you are ever in the neighborhood of Barkingham." + +I wrung his hand, mentally relinquishing my secretaryship while I +thanked him for the invitation. I put out my hand next to his +daughter, and the dear friendly girl met the advance with the +most charming readiness. She gave me a good, hearty, vigorous, +uncompromising shake. O precious right hand! never did I properly +appreciate your value until that moment. + +Going out with my head in the air, and my senses in the seventh +heaven, I jostled an elderly gentleman passing before the garden +gate. I turned round to apologize; it was my brother in office, +the estimable Treasurer of the Duskydale Institute. + +"I have been half over the town looking after you," he said. "The +Managing Committee, on reflection, consider your plan of +personally soliciting public attendance at the hall to be +compromising the dignity of the Institution, and beg you, +therefore, to abandon it." + +"Very well," said I, "there is no harm done. Thus far, I have +only solicited two persons, Doctor and Miss Dulcifer, in that +delightful little cottage there." + +"You don't mean to say you have asked _them_ to come to the +ball!" + +"To be sure I have. And I am sorry to say they can't accept the +invitation. Why should they not be asked?" + +"Because nobody visits them." + +"And why should nobody visit them?" + +The Treasurer put his arm confidentially through mine, and walked +me on a few steps. + +"In the first place," he said, "Doctor Dulcifer's name is not +down in the Medical List." + +"Some mistake," I suggested, in my off-hand way. "Or some foreign +doctor's degree not recognized by the prejudiced people in +England." + +"In the second place," continued the Treasurer, "we have found +out that he is not visited at Barkingham. Consequently, it would +be the height of imprudence to visit him here." + +"Pooh! pooh! All the nonsense of narrow-minded people, because he +lives a retired life, and is engaged in finding out chemical +secrets which the ignorant public don't know how to appreciate." + +"The shutters are always up in the front top windows of his house +at Barkingham," said the Treasurer, lowering his voice +mysteriously. "I know it from a friend resident near him. The +windows themselves are barred. It is currently reported that the +top of the house, inside, is shut off by iron doors from the +bottom. Workmen are employed there who don't belong to the +neighborhood, who don't drink at the public houses, who only +associate with each other. Unfamiliar smells and noises find +their way outside sometimes. Nobody in the house can be got to +talk. The doctor, as he calls himself, does not even make an +attempt to get into society, does not even try to see company for +the sake of his poor unfortunate daughter. What do you think of +all that?" + +"Think!" I repeated contemptuously; "I think the inhabitants of +Barkingham are the best finders of mares' nests in all England. +The doctor is making important chemical discoveries (the possible +value of which I can appreciate, being chemical myself), and he +is not quite fool enough to expose valuable secrets to the view +of all the world. His laboratory is at the top of the house, and +he wisely shuts it off from the bottom to prevent accidents. He +is one of the best fellows I ever met with, and his daughter is +the loveliest girl in the world. What do you all mean by making +mysteries about nothing? He has given me an invitation to go and +see him. I suppose the next thing you will find out is, that +there is something underhand even in that?" + +"You won't accept the invitation?" + +"I shall, at the very first opportunity; and if you had seen Miss +Alicia, so would you." + +"Don't go. Take my advice and don't go," said the Treasurer, +gravely. "You are a young man. Reputable friends are of +importance to you at the outset of life. I say nothing against +Doctor Dulcifer--he came here as a stranger, and he goes away +again as a stranger--but you can't be sure that his purpose in +asking you so readily to his house is a harmless one. Making a +new acquaintance is always a doubtful speculation; but when a man +is not visited by his respectable neighbors--" + +"Because he doesn't open his shutters," I interposed +sarcastically. + +"Because there are doubts about him and his house which he will +not clear up," retorted the Treasurer. "You can take your own +way. You may turn out right, and we may all be wrong; I can only +say again, it is rash to make doubtful acquaintances. Sooner or +later you are always sure to repent it. In your place I should +certainly not accept the invitation." + +"In my place, my dear sir," I answered, "you would do exactly +what I mean to do." + +The Treasurer took his arm out of mine, and without saying +another word, wished me good-morning. + +CHAPTER VII. + +I HAD spoken confidently enough, while arguing the question of +Doctor Dulcifer's respectability with the Treasurer of the D +uskydale Institution; but, if my perceptions had not been blinded +by my enthusiastic admiration for Alicia, I think I should have +secretly distrusted my own opinion as soon as I was left by +myself. Had I been in full possession of my senses, I might have +questioned, on reflection, whether the doctor's method of +accounting for the suspicions which kept his neighbors aloof from +him, was quite satisfactory. Love is generally described, I +believe, as the tender passion. When I remember the insidiously +relaxing effect of it on all my faculties, I feel inclined to +alter the popular definition, and to call it a moral vapor-bath. + +What the Managing Committee of the Duskydale Institution thought +of the change in me, I cannot imagine. The doctor and his +daughter left the town on the day they had originally appointed, +before I could make any excuse for calling again; and, as a +necessary consequence of their departure, I lost all interest in +the affairs of the ball, and yawned in the faces of the committee +when I was obliged to be present at their deliberations in my +official capacity. + +It was all Alicia with me, whatever they did. I read the Minutes +through a soft medium of maize-colored skirts. Notes of melodious +laughter bubbled, in my mind's ear, through all the drawling and +stammering of our speech-making members. When our dignified +President thought he had caught my eye, and made oratorical +overtures to me from the top of the table, I was lost in the +contemplation of silk purses and white fingers weaving them. I +meant "Alicia" when I said "hear, hear"--and when I officially +produced my subscription list, it was all aglow with the roseate +hues of the marriage-license. If any unsympathetic male readers +should think this statement exaggerated, I appeal to the +ladies--_they_ will appreciate the rigid, yet tender, truth of +it. + +The night of the ball came. I have nothing but the vaguest +recollection of it. + +I remember that the more the perverse lecture theater was warmed +the more persistently it smelled of damp plaster; and that the +more brightly it was lighted, the more overgrown and lonesome it +looked. I can recall to mind that the company assembled numbered +about fifty, the room being big enough to hold three hundred. I +have a vision still before me, of twenty out of these fifty +guests, solemnly executing intricate figure-dances, under the +superintendence of an infirm local dancing-master--a mere speck +of fidgety human wretchedness twisting about in the middle of an +empty floor. I see, faintly, down the dim vista of the Past, an +agreeable figure, like myself, with a cocked hat under its arm, +black tights on its lightly tripping legs, a rosette in its +buttonhole, and an engaging smile on its face, walking from end +to end of the room, in the character of Master of the Ceremonies. +These visions and events I can recall vaguely; and with them my +remembrances of the ball come to a close. It was a complete +failure, and that would, of itself, have been enough to sicken me +of remaining at the Duskydale Institution, even if I had not had +any reasons of the tender sort for wishing to extend my travels +in rural England to the neighborhood of Barkingham. + +The difficulty was how to find a decent pretext for getting away. +Fortunately, the Managing Committee relieved me of any perplexity +on this head, by passing a resolution, one day, which called upon +the President to remonstrate with me on my want of proper +interest in the affairs of the Institution. I replied to the +remonstrance that the affairs of the Institution were so +hopelessly dull that it was equally absurd and unjust to expect +any human being to take the smallest interest in them. At this +there arose an indignant cry of "Resign!" from the whole +committee; to which I answered politely, that I should be +delighted to oblige the gentlemen, and to go forthwith, on +condition of receiving a quarter's salary in the way of previous +compensation. + +After a sordid opposition from an economical minority, my +condition of departure was accepted. I wrote a letter of +resignation, received in exchange twelve pounds ten shillings, +and took my place, that same day, on the box-seat of the +Barkingham mail. + +Rather changeable this life of mine, was it not? Before I was +twenty-five years of age, I had tried doctoring, caricaturing +portrait-painting, old picture-making, and Institution-managing; +and now, with the help of Alicia, I was about to try how a little +marrying would suit me. Surely, Shakespeare must have had me +prophetically in his eye, when he wrote about "one man in his +time playing many parts." What a character I should have made for +him, if he had only been alive now! + +I found out from the coachman, among other matters, that there +was a famous fishing stream near Barkingham; and the first thing +I did, on arriving at the town, was to buy a rod and line. + +It struck me that my safest way of introducing myself would be to +tell Doctor Dulcifer that I had come to the neighborhood for a +little fishing, and so to prevent him from fancying that I was +suspiciously prompt in availing myself of his offered +hospitality. I put up, of course, at the inn--stuck a large +parchment book of flies half in and half out of the pocket of my +shooting-jacket--and set off at once to the doctor's. The waiter +of whom I asked my way stared distrustfully while he directed me. +The people at the inn had evidently heard of my new friend, and +were not favorably disposed toward the cause of scientific +investigation. + +The house stood about a mile out of the town, in a dip of ground +near the famous fishing-stream. It was a lonely, old-fashioned +red-brick building, surrounded by high walls, with a garden and +plantation behind it. + +As I rang at the gate-bell, I looked up at the house. Sure enough +all the top windows in front were closed with shutters and +barred. I was let in by a man in livery; who, however, in manners +and appearance, looked much more like a workman in disguise than +a footman. He had a very suspicious eye, and he fixed it on me +unpleasantly when I handed him my card. + +I was shown into a morning-room exactly like other morning-rooms +in country houses. + +After a long delay the doctor came in, with scientific butchers' +sleeves on his arms, and an apron tied round his portly waist. He +apologized for coming down in his working dress, and said +everything that was civil and proper about the pleasure of +unexpectedly seeing me again so soon. There was something rather +preoccupied, I thought, in those brightly resolute eyes of his; +but I naturally attributed it to the engrossing influence of his +scientific inquiries. He was evidently not at all taken in by my +story about coming to Barkingham to fish; but he saw, as well as +I did, that it would do to keep up appearances, and contrived to +look highly interested immediately in my parchment-book. I asked +after his daughter. He said she was in the garden, and proposed +that we should go and find her. We did find her, with a pair of +scissors in her hand, outblooming the flowers that she was +trimming. She looked really glad to see me--her brown eyes beamed +clear and kindly--she gave my hand another inestimable shake--the +summer breezes waved her black curls gently upward from her +waist--she had on a straw hat and a brown Holland gardening +dress. I eyed it with all the practical interest of a +linendraper. O Brown Holland you are but a coarse and cheap +fabric, yet how soft and priceless you look when clothing the +figure of Alicia! + +I lunched with them. The doctor recurred to the subject of my +angling intentions, and asked his daughter if she had heard what +parts of the stream at Barkingham were best for fishing in. + +She replied, with a mixture of modest evasiveness and adorable +simplicity, that she had sometimes seen gentlemen angling from a +meadow-bank about a quarter of a mile below her flower-garden. I +risked everything in my usual venturesome way, and asked if she +would show me where the place was, in case I called the next +morning with my fishing-rod. She looked dutifully at her father. +He smiled and nodded. Inestimable parent! + +On rising to take leave, I was rather curious to know whether he +would o ffer me a bed in the house, or not. He detected the +direction of my thoughts in my face and manner, and apologized +for not having a bed to offer me; every spare room in the house +being occupied by his chemical assistants, and by the lumber of +laboratories. Even while he was speaking those few words, +Alicia's face changed just as I had seen it change at our first +interview. The downcast, gloomy expression overspread it again. +Her father's eye wandered toward her when mine did, and suddenly +assumed the same distrustful look which I remembered detecting in +it, under similar circumstances, at Duskydale. What could this +mean? + +The doctor shook hands with me in the hall, leaving the +workman-like footman to open the door. + +I stopped to admire a fine pair of stag's antlers. The footman +coughed impatiently. I still lingered, hearing the doctor's +footsteps ascending the stairs. They suddenly stopped; and then +there was a low heavy clang, like the sound of a closing door +made of iron, or of some other unusually strong material; then +total silence, interrupted by another impatient cough from the +workman-like footman. After that, I thought my wisest proceeding +would be to go away before my mysterious attendant was driven to +practical extremities. + +Between thoughts of Alicia, and inquisitive yearnings to know +more about the doctor's experiments, I passed rather a restless +night at my inn. + +The next morning, I found the lovely mistress of my destiny, with +the softest of shawls on her shoulders, the brightest of parasols +in her hand, and the smart little straw hat of the day before on +her head, ready to show me the way to the fishing-place. If I +could be sure beforehand that these pages would only be read by +persons actually occupied in the making of love--that oldest and +longest-established of all branches of manufacturing industry--I +could go into some very tender and interesting particulars on the +subject of my first day's fishing, under the adorable auspices of +Alicia. But as I cannot hope for a wholly sympathetic +audience--as there may be monks, misogynists, political +economists, and other professedly hard-hearted persons present +among those whom I now address--I think it best to keep to safe +generalities, and to describe my love-making in as few sentences +as the vast, though soft, importance of the subject will allow me +to use. + +Let me confess, then, that I assumed the character of a +fastidious angler, and managed to be a week in discovering the +right place to fish in--always, it is unnecessary to say, under +Alicia's guidance. We went up the stream and down the stream, on +one side. We crossed the bridge, and went up the stream and down +the stream on the other. We got into a punt, and went up the +stream (with great difficulty), and down the stream (with great +ease). We landed on a little island, and walked all round it, and +inspected the stream attentively from a central point of view. We +found the island damp, and went back to the bank, and up the +stream, and over the bridge, and down the stream again; and then, +for the first time, the sweet girl turned appealingly to me, and +confessed that she had exhausted her artless knowledge of the +locality. It was exactly a week from the day when I had first +followed her into the fields with my fishing-rod over my +shoulder; and I had never yet caught anything but Alicia's hand, +and that not with my hook. + +We sat down close together on the bank, entirely in consequence +of our despair at not finding a good fishing-place. I looked at +the brown eyes, and they turned away observantly down the stream. +I followed them, and they turned away inquiringly up the stream. +Was this angel of patience and kindness still looking for a +fishing place? And was it _up_ the stream, after all? No! --she +smiled and shook her head when I asked the question, and the +brown eyes suddenly stole a look at me. I could hold out no +longer In one breathless moment I caught hold of both her +hands--in one stammering sentence I asked her if she would be my +wife. + +She tried faintly to free her hands--gave up the +attempt--smiled--made an effort to look grave--gave that up, +too--sighed suddenly--checked herself suddenly--said nothing. +Perhaps I ought to have taken my answer for granted; but the +least business-like man that ever lived becomes an eminently +practical character in matters of love. I repeated my question. +She looked away confusedly; her eye lighted on a corner of her +father's red-brick house, peeping through a gap in the plantation +already mentioned; and her blushing cheeks lost their color +instantly. I felt her hands grow cold; she drew them resolutely +out of mine, and rose with the tears in her eyes. Had I offended +her? + +"No," she said when I asked her the question, and turned to me +again, and held out her hand with such frank, fearless kindness, +that I almost fell on my knees to thank her for it. + +Might I hope ever to hear her say "Yes" to the question that I +had asked on the riverbank? + +She sighed bitterly, and turned again toward the red-brick house. + +Was there any family reason against her saying "Yes"? Anything +that I must not inquire into? Any opposition to be dreaded from +her father? + +The moment I mentioned her father, she shrank away from me and +burst into a violent fit of crying. + +"Don't speak of it again!" she said in a broken voice. "I +mustn't--you mustn't--ah, don't, don't say a word more about it! +I'm not distressed with you--it is not your fault. Don't say +anything--leave me quiet for a minute. I shall soon be better it +you leave me quiet." + +She dried her eyes directly, with a shiver as if it was cold, and +took my arm. I led her back to the house-gate; and then, feeling +that I could not go in to lunch as usual, after what had +happened, said I would return to the fishing-place. + +"Shall I come to dinner this evening?" I asked, as I rang the +gate-bell for her. + +"Oh, yes--yes!--do come, or he--" + +The mysterious man-servant opened the door, and we parted before +she could say the next words. + +CHAPTER VIII. + +I WENT back to the fishing-place with a heavy heart, overcome by +mournful thoughts, for the first time in my life. It was plain +that she did not dislike me, and equally plain that there was +some obstacle connected with her father, which forbade her to +listen to my offer of marriage. From the time when she had +accidentally looked toward the red-brick house, something in her +manner which it is quite impossible to describe, had suggested to +my mind that this obstacle was not only something she could not +mention, but something that she was partly ashamed of, partly +afraid of, and partly doubtful about. What could it be? How had +she first known it? In what way was her father connected with it? + +In the course of our walks she had told me nothing about herself +which was not perfectly simple and unsuggestive. + +Her childhood had been passed in England. After that, she had +lived with her father and mother at Paris, where the doctor had +many friends--for all of whom she remembered feeling more or less +dislike, without being able to tell why. They had then come to +England, and had lived in lodgings in London. For a time they had +been miserably poor. But, after her mother's death--a sudden +death from heart disease--there had come a change in their +affairs, which she was quite unable to explain. They had removed +to their present abode, to give the doctor full accommodation for +the carrying on of his scientific pursuits. He often had occasion +to go to London; but never took her with him. The only woman at +home now, beside herself, was an elderly person, who acted as +cook and housekeeper, and who had been in their service for many +years. It was very lonely sometimes not having a companion of her +own age and sex; but she had got tolerably used to bear it, and +to amuse herself with her books, and music, and flowers. + +Thus far she chatted about herself quite freely; but when I +tried, even in the vaguest manner, to lead her into discussing +the causes of her strangely secluded life, she looked so +distressed, and became so suddenly silent, that I naturally +refrained from saying another word on that topic. One conclusion, +however, I felt tolera bly sure that I had drawn correctly from +what she said: her father's conduct toward her, though not +absolutely blamable or grossly neglectful on any point, had still +never been of a nature to make her ardently fond of him. He +performed the ordinary parental duties rigidly and respectably +enough; but he had apparently not cared to win all the filial +love which his daughter would have bestowed on a more +affectionate man. + +When, after reflecting on what Alicia had told me, I began to +call to mind what I had been able to observe for myself, I found +ample materials to excite my curiosity in relation to the doctor, +if not my distrust. + +I have already described how I heard the clang of the heavy door, +on the occasion of my first visit to the red-brick house. The +next day, when the doctor again took leave of me in the hall, I +hit on a plan for seeing the door as well as hearing it. I +dawdled on my way out, till I heard the clang again; then +pretended to remember some important message which I had +forgotten to give to the doctor, and with a look of innocent +hurry ran upstairs to overtake him. The disguised workman ran +after me with a shout of "Stop!" I was conveniently deaf to +him--reached the first floor landing--and arrived at a door which +shut off the whole staircase higher up; an iron door, as solid as +if it belonged to a banker's strong-room, and guarded millions of +money. I returned to the hall, inattentive to the servant's not +over-civil remonstrances, and, saying that I would wait till I +saw the doctor again, left the house. + +The next day two pale-looking men, in artisan costume, came up to +the gate at the same time as I did, each carrying a long wooden +box under his arm, strongly bound with iron. I tried to make them +talk while we were waiting for admission, but neither of them +would go beyond "Yes," or "No"; and both had, to my eyes, some +unmistakably sinister lines in their faces. The next day the +houskeeping cook came to the door--a buxom old woman with a look +and a ready smile, and something in her manner which suggested +that she had not begun life quite so respectably as she was now +ending it. She seemed to be decidedly satisfied with my personal +appearance; talked to me on indifferent matters with great +glibness; but suddenly became silent and diplomatic the moment I +looked toward the stair and asked innocently if she had to go up +and down them often in the course of the day. As for the doctor +himself he was unapproachable on the subject of the mysterious +upper regions. If I introduced chemistry in general into the +conversation he begged me not to spoil his happy holiday hours +with his daughter and me, by leading him back to his work-a-day +thoughts. If I referred to his own experiments in particular he +always made a joke about being afraid of my chemical knowledge, +and of my wishing to anticipate him in his discoveries. In brief, +after a week's run of the lower regions, the upper part of the +red-brick house and the actual nature of its owner's occupations +still remained impenetrable mysteries to me, pry, ponder, and +question as I might. + +Thinking of this on the river-bank, in connection with the +distressing scene which I had just had with Alicia, I found that +the mysterious obstacle at which she had hinted, the mysterious +life led by her father, and the mysterious top of the house that +had hitherto defied my curiosity, all three connected themselves +in my mind as links of the same chain. The obstacle to my +marrying Alicia was the thing that most troubled me. If I only +found out what it was, and if I made light of it (which I was +resolved beforehand to do, let it be what it might), I should +most probably end by overcoming her scruples, and taking her away +from the ominous red-brick house in the character of my wife. But +how was I to make the all-important discovery? + +Cudgeling my brains for an answer to this question, I fell at +last into reasoning upon it, by a process of natural logic, +something after this fashion: The mysterious top of the house is +connected with the doctor, and the doctor is connected with the +obstacle which has made wretchedness between Alicia and me. If I +can only get to the top of the house, I may get also to the root +of the obstacle. It is a dangerous and an uncertain experiment; +but, come what may of it, I will try and find out, if human +ingenuity can compass the means, what Doctor Dulcifer's +occupation really is, on the other side of that iron door. + +Having come to this resolution (and deriving, let me add, +parenthetically, great consolation from it), the next subject of +consideration was the best method of getting safely into the top +regions of the house. + +Picking the lock of the iron door was out of the question, from +the exposed nature of the situation which that mysterious iron +barrier occupied. My only possible way to the second floor lay by +the back of the house. I had looked up at it two or three times, +while walking in the garden after dinner with Alicia. What had I +brought away in my memory as the result of that casual inspection +of my host's back premises? Several fragments of useful +information. + +In the first place, one of the most magnificent vines I had ever +seen grew against the back wall of the house, trained carefully +on a strong trellis-work. In the second place, the middle +first-floor back window looked out on a little stone balcony, +built on the top of the porch over the garden door. In the third +place, the back windows of the second floor had been open, on +each occasion when I had seen them--most probably to air the +house, which could not be ventilated from the front during the +hot summer weather, in consequence of the shut-up condition of +all the windows thereabouts. In the fourth place, hard by the +coach-house in which Doctor Dulcifer's neat gig was put up, there +was a tool-shed, in which the gardener kept his short +pruning-ladder. In the fifth and last place, outside the stable +in which Doctor Dulcifer's blood mare lived in luxurious +solitude, was a dog-kennel with a large mastiff chained to it +night and day. If I could only rid myself of the dog--a gaunt, +half-starved brute, made savage and mangy by perpetual +confinement--I did not see any reason to despair of getting in +undiscovered at one of the second-floor windows--provided I +waited until a sufficiently late hour, and succeeded in scaling +the garden wall at the back of the house. + +Life without Alicia being not worth having, I determined to risk +the thing that very night. + +Going back at once to the town of Barkingham, I provided myself +with a short bit of rope, a little bull's-eye lantern, a small +screwdriver, and a nice bit of beef chemically adapted for the +soothing of troublesome dogs. I then dressed, disposed of these +things neatly in my coat pockets, and went to the doctor's to +dinner. In one respect, Fortune favored my audacity. It was the +sultriest day of the whole season--surely they could not think of +shutting up the second-floor back windows to-night! + +Alicia was pale and silent. The lovely brown eyes, when they +looked at me, said as plainly as in words, "We have been crying a +great deal, Frank, since we saw you last." The little white +fingers gave mine a significant squeeze--and that was all the +reference that passed between us to what happened in the morning. +She sat through the dinner bravely; but, when the dessert came, +left us for the night, with a few shy, hurried words about the +excessive heat of the weather being too much for her. I rose to +open the door, and exchanged a last meaning look with her, as she +bowed and went by me. Little did I think that I should have to +live upon nothing but the remembrance of that look for many weary +days that were yet to come. + +The doctor was in excellent spirits, and almost oppressively +hospitable. We sat sociably chatting over our claret till past +eight o'clock. Then my host turned to his desk to write a letter +before the post want out; and I strolled away to smoke a cigar in +the garden. + +Second-floor back windows all open, atmosphere as sultry as ever, +gardener's pruning-ladder quite safe in the tool-shed, savage +mastiff in his kennel crunching his bones for supper. Good. The +dog will not be visited again tonight: I may throw my medicated +bit of beef at once into his kennel. I acted on the idea +immediately; the dog seized his piece of beef; I heard a snap, a +wheeze, a choke, and a groan--and there was the mastiff disposed +of, inside the kennel, where nobody could find out that he was +dead till the time came for feeding him the next morning. + +I went back to the doctor; we had a social glass of cold +brandy-and-water together; I lighted another cigar, and took my +leave. My host being too respectable a man not to keep early +country hours, I went away, as usual, about ten. The mysterious +man-servant locked the gate behind me. I sauntered on the road +back to Barkingham for about five minutes, then struck off sharp +for the plantation, lighted my lantern with the help of my cigar +and a brimstone match of that barbarous period, shut down the +slide again, and made for the garden wall. + +It was formidably high, and garnished horribly with broken +bottles; but it was also old, and when I came to pick at the +mortar with my screw-driver, I found it reasonably rotten with +age and damp. + +I removed four bricks to make footholes in different positions up +the wall. It was desperately hard and long work, easy as it may +sound in description--especially when I had to hold on by the top +of the wall, with my flat opera hat (as we used to call it in +those days) laid, as a guard, between my hand and the glass, +while I cleared a way through the sharp bottle-ends for my other +hand and my knees. This done, my great difficulty was vanquished; +and I had only to drop luxuriously into a flower-bed on the other +side of the wall. + +Perfect stillness in the garden: no sign of a light anywhere at +the back of the house: first-floor windows all shut: second-floor +windows still open. I fetched the pruning-ladder; put it against +the side of the porch; tied one end of my bit of rope to the top +round of it; took the other end in my mouth, and prepared to +climb to the balcony over the porch by the thick vine branches +and the trellis-work. + +No man who has had any real experience of life can have failed to +observe how amazingly close, in critical situations, the +grotesque and the terrible, the comic and the serious, contrive +to tread on each other's heels. At such times, the last thing we +ought properly to think of comes into our heads, or the least +consistent event that could possibly be expected to happen does +actually occur. When I put my life in danger on that memorable +night, by putting my foot on the trellis-work, I absolutely +thought of the never-dying Lady Malkinshaw plunged in refreshing +slumber, and of the frantic exclamations Mr. Batterbury would +utter if he saw what her ladyship's grandson was doing with his +precious life and limbs at that critical moment. I am no hero--I +was fully aware of the danger to which I was exposing myself; and +yet I protest that I caught myself laughing under my breath, with +the most outrageous inconsistency, at the instant when I began +the ascent of the trellis-work. + +I reached the balcony over the porch in safety, depending more +upon the tough vine branches than the trellis-work during my +ascent. My next employment was to pull up the pruning-ladder, as +softly as possible, by the rope which I held attached to it. This +done, I put the ladder against the house wall, listened, measured +the distance to the open second-floor window with my eye, +listened again--and, finding all quiet, began my second and last +ascent. The ladder was comfortably long, and I was conveniently +tall; my hand was on the window-sill--I mounted another two +rounds--and my eyes were level with the interior of the room. + +Suppose any one should be sleeping there! + +I listened at the window attentively before I ventured on taking +my lantern out of my coatpocket. The night was so quite and +airless that there was not the faintest rustle among the leaves +in the garden beneath me to distract my attention. I listened. +The breathing of the lightest of sleepers must have reached my +ear, through that intense stillness, if the room had been a +bedroom, and the bed were occupied. I heard nothing but the quick +beat of my own heart. The minutes of suspense were passing +heavily--I laid my other hand over the window-sill, then a moment +of doubt came--doubt whether I should carry the adventure any +further. I mastered my hesitation directly--it was too late for +second thoughts. "Now for it!" I whispered to myself, and got in +at the window. + +To wait, listening again, in the darkness of that unknown region, +was more than I had courage for. The moment I was down on the +floor, I pulled the lantern out of my pocket and raised the +shade. + +So far, so good--I found myself in a dirty lumber-room. Large +pans, some of them cracked and more of them broken; empty boxes +bound with iron, of the same sort as those I had seen the workmen +bringing in at the front gate; old coal sacks; a packing-case +full of coke; and a huge, cracked, mouldy blacksmith's +bellows--these were the principal objects that I observed in the +lumber-room. The one door leading out of it was open, as I had +expected it would be, in order to let the air through the back +window into the house. I took off my shoes, and stole into the +passage. My first impulse, the moment I looked along it, was to +shut down my lantern-shade, and listen again. + +Still I heard nothing; but at the far end of the passage I saw a +bright light pouring through the half-opened door of one of the +mysterious front rooms. + +I crept softly toward it. A decidedly chemical smell began to +steal into my nostrils--and, listening again, I thought I heard +above me, and in some distant room, a noise like the low growl of +a large furnace, muffled in some peculiar manner. Should I +retrace my steps in that direction? No--not till I had seen +something of the room with the bright light, outside of which I +was now standing. I bent forward softly; looking by little and +little further and further through the opening of the door, until +my head and shoulders were fairly inside the room, and my eyes +had convinced me that no living soul, sleeping or waking, was in +any part of it at that particular moment. Impelled by a fatal +curiosity, I entered immediately, and began to look about me with +eager eyes. + +I saw iron ladles, pans full of white sand, files with white +metal left glittering in their teeth, molds of plaster of Paris, +bags containing the same material in powder, a powerful machine +with the name and use of which I was theoretically not +unacquainted, white metal in a partially-fused state, bottles of +aquafortis, dies scattered over a dresser, crucibles, sandpaper, +bars of metal, and edged tools in plenty, of the strangest +construction. I was not at all a scrupulous man, as the reader +knows by this time; but when I looked at these objects, and +thought of Alicia, I could not for the life of me help +shuddering. There was not the least doubt about it, even after +the little I had seen: the important chemical pursuits to which +Doctor Dulcifer was devoting himself, meant, in plain English and +in one word--Coining. + +Did Alicia know what I knew now, or did she only suspect it? + +Whichever way I answered that question in my own mind, I could be +no longer at any loss for an explanation of her behavior in the +meadow by the stream, or of that unnaturally gloomy, downcast +look which overspread her face when her father's pursuits were +the subject of conversation. Did I falter in my resolution to +marry her, now that I had discovered what the obstacle was which +had made mystery and wretchedness between us? Certainly not. I +was above all prejudices. I was the least particular of mankind. +I had no family affection in my way--and, greatest fact of all, I +was in love. Under those circumstances what Rogue of any spirit +would have faltered? After the first shock of the discovery was +over, my resolution to be Alicia's husband was settled more +firmly than ever. + +There was a little round table in a corner of the room furthest +from the door, which I had not yet examined. A feverish longing +to look at everything within my reach--to penetrate to the +innermost recesses of the labyrinth in which I had involved +myself--consumed me. I went to the table, and saw upon it, ranged +symmetrically side by side, four objects which looked like thick +rulers wrapped up in silver paper. I opened the paper at the end +of one of the rulers, and found that it was composed of +half-crowns. I had closed the paper again, and was just raising +my head from the table over which it had been bent, when my right +cheek came in contact with something hard and cold. I started +back--looked up--and confronted Doctor Dulcifer, holding a pistol +at my right temple. + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE doctor (like me) had his shoes off. The doctor (like me) had +come in without making the least noise. He cocked the pistol +without saying a word. I felt that I was probably standing face +to face with death, and I too said not a word. We two Rogues +looked each other steadily and silently in the face--he, the +mighty and prosperous villain, with my life in his hands: I, the +abject and poor scamp, waiting his mercy. + +It must have been at least a minute after I heard the click of +the cocked pistol before he spoke. + +"How did you get here?" he asked. + +The quiet commonplace terms in which he put his question, and the +perfect composure and politeness of his manner, reminded me a +little of Gentleman Jones. But the doctor was much the more +respectable-looking man of the two; his baldness was more +intellectual and benevolent; there was a delicacy and propriety +in the pulpiness of his fat white chin, a bland bagginess in his +unwhiskered cheeks, a reverent roughness about his eyebrows and a +fullness in his lower eyelids, which raised him far higher, +physiognomically speaking, in the social scale, than my old +prison acquaintance. Put a shovel-hat on Gentleman Jones, and the +effect would only have been eccentric; put the same covering on +the head of Doctor Dulcifer, and the effect would have been +strictly episcopal. + +"How did you get here?" he repeated, still without showing the +least irritation. + +I told him how I had got in at the second-floor window, without +concealing a word of the truth. The gravity of the situation, and +the sharpness of the doctor's intellects, as expressed in his +eyes, made anything like a suppression of facts on my part a +desperately dangerous experiment. + +"You wanted to see what I was about up here, did you?" said he, +when I had ended my confession. "Do you know?" + +The pistol barrel touched my cheek as he said the last words. I +thought of all the suspicious objects scattered about the room, +of the probability that he was only putting this question to try +my courage, of the very likely chance that he would shoot me +forthwith, if I began to prevaricate. I thought of these things, +and boldly answered: + +"Yes, I do know." + +He looked at me reflectively; then said, in low, thoughtful +tones, speaking, not to me, but entirely to himself: + +"Suppose I shoot him?" + +I saw in his eye, that if I flinched, he would draw the trigger. + +"Suppose you trust me?" I said, without moving a muscle. + +"I trusted you, as an honest man, downstairs, and I find you, +like a thief, up here," returned the doctor, with a +self-satisfied smile at the neatness of his own retort. "No," he +continued, relapsing into soliloquy: "there is risk every way; +but the least risk perhaps is to shoot him." + +"Wrong," said I. "There are relations of mine who have a +pecuniary interest in my life. I am the main condition of a +contingent reversion in their favor. If I am missed, I shall be +inquired after." I have wondered since at my own coolness in the +face of the doctor's pistol; but my life depended on my keeping +my self-possession, and the desperate nature of the situation +lent me a desperate courage. + +"How do I know you are not lying?" he asked. + +"Have I not spoken the truth, hitherto?" + +Those words made him hesitate. He lowered the pistol slowly to +his side. I began to breathe freely. + +"Trust me," I repeated. "If you don't believe I would hold my +tongue about what I have seen here, for your sake, you may be +certain that I would for--" + +"For my daughter's," he interposed, with a sarcastic smile. + +I bowed with all imaginable cordiality. The doctor waved his +pistol in the air contemptuously. + +"There are two ways of making you hold your tongue," he said. +"The first is shooting you; the second is making a felon of you. +On consideration, after what you have said, the risk in either +case seems about equal. I am naturally a humane man; your family +have done me no injury; I will not be the cause of their losing +money; I won't take your life, I'll have your character. We are +all felons on this floor of the house. You have come among +us--you shall be one of us. Ring that bell." + +He pointed with the pistol to a bell-handle behind me. I pulled +it in silence. + +Felon! The word has an ugly sound--a very ugly sound. But, +considering how near the black curtain had been to falling over +the adventurous drama of my life, had I any right to complain of +the prolongation of the scene, however darkly it might look at +first? Besides, some of the best feelings of our common nature +(putting out of all question the value which men so unaccountably +persist in setting on their own lives), impelled me, of +necessity, to choose the alternative of felonious existence in +preference to that of respectable death. Love and Honor bade me +live to marry Alicia; and a sense of family duty made me shrink +from occasioning a loss of three thousand pounds to my +affectionate sister. Perish the far-fetched scruples which would +break the heart of one lovely woman, and scatter to the winds the +pin-money of another! + +"If you utter one word in contradiction of anything I say when my +workmen come into the room," said the doctor, uncocking his +pistol as soon as I had rung the bell, "I shall change my mind +about leaving your life and taking your character. Remember that; +and keep a guard on your tongue." + +The door opened, and four men entered. One was an old man whom I +had not seen before; in the other three I recognized the +workman-like footman, and the two sinister artisans whom I had +met at the house-gate. They all started, guiltily enough, at +seeing me. + +"Let me introduce you," said the doctor, taking me by the arm. +"Old File and Young File, Mill and Screw--Mr. Frank Softly. We +have nicknames in this workshop, Mr. Softly, derived humorously +from our professional tools and machinery. When you have been +here long enough, you will get a nickname, too. Gentlemen," he +continued, turning to the workmen, "this is a new recruit, with a +knowledge of chemistry which will be useful to us. He is +perfectly well aware that the nature of our vocation makes us +suspicious of all newcomers, and he, therefore, desires to give +you practical proof that he is to be depended on, by making +half-a-crown immediately, and sending the same up, along with our +handiwork, directed in his own handwriting, to our estimable +correspondents in London. When you have all seen him do this of +his own free will, and thereby put his own life as completely +within the power of the law as we have put ours, you will know +that he is really one of us, and will be under no apprehensions +for the future. Take great pains with him, and as soon as he +turns out a tolerably neat article, from the simple flatted +plates, under your inspection, let me know. I shall take a few +hours' repose on my camp-bed in the study, and shall be found +there whenever you want me." + +He nodded to us all round in the most friendly manner, and left +the room. + +I looked with considerable secret distrust at the four gentlemen +who were to instruct me in the art of making false coin. Young +File was the workman-like footman; Old File was his father; Mill +and Screw were the two sinister artisans. The man of the company +whose looks I liked least was Screw. He had wicked little +twinkling eyes--and they followed me about treacherously whenever +I moved. "You and I, Screw, are likely to quarrel," I thought to +myself, as I tried vainly to stare him out of countenance. + +I entered on my new and felonious functions forthwith. Resistance +was useless, and calling for help would have been sheer insanity. +It was midnight; and, even supposing the windows had not been +barred , the house was a mile from any human habitation. +Accordingly, I abandoned myself to fate with my usual +magnanimity. Only let me end in winning Alicia, and I am resigned +to the loss of whatever small shreds and patches of +respectability still hang about me--such was my philosophy. I +wish I could have taken higher moral ground with equally +consoling results to my own feelings. + +The same regard for the well-being of society which led me to +abstain from entering into particulars on the subject of Old +Master-making, when I was apprenticed to Mr. Ishmael Pickup, now +commands me to be equally discreet on the kindred subject of +Half-Crown-making, under the auspices of Old File, Young File, +Mill, and Screw. + +Let me merely record that I was a kind of machine in the hands of +these four skilled workmen. I moved from room to room, and from +process to process, the creature of their directing eyes and +guiding hands. I cut myself, I burned myself, I got speechless +from fatigue, and giddy from want of sleep. In short, the sun of +the new day was high in the heavens before it was necessary to +disturb Doctor Dulcifer. It had absolutely taken me almost as +long to manufacture a half-a-crown feloniously as it takes a +respectable man to make it honestly. This is saying a great deal; +but it is literally true for all that. + +Looking quite fresh and rosy after his night's sleep, the doctor +inspected my coin with the air of a schoolmaster examining a +little boy's exercise; then handed it to Old File to put the +finished touches and correct the mistakes. It was afterward +returned to me. My own hand placed it in one of the rouleaux of +false half-crowns; and my own hand also directed the spurious +coin, when it had been safely packed up, to a certain London +dealer who was to be on the lookout for it by the next night's +mail. That done, my initiation was so far complete. + +"I have sent for your luggage, and paid your bill at the inn," +said the doctor; "of course in your name. You are now to enjoy +the hospitality that I could not extend to you before. A room +upstairs has been prepared for you. You are not exactly in a +state of confinement; but, until your studies are completed, I +think you had better not interrupt them by going out." + +"A prisoner!" I exclaimed aghast. + +"Prisoner is a hard word," answered the doctor. "Let us say, a +guest under surveillance." + +"Do you seriously mean that you intend to keep me shut up in this +part of the house, at your will and pleasure?" I inquired, my +heart sinking lower and lower at every word I spoke. + +"It is very spacious and airy," said the doctor; "as for the +lower part of the house, you would find no company there, so you +can't want to go to it." + +"No company!" I repeated faintly. + +"No. My daughter went away this morning for change of air and +scene, accompanied by my housekeeper. You look astonished, my +dear sir--let me frankly explain myself. While you were the +respectable son of Doctor Softly, and grandson of Lady +Malkinshaw, I was ready enough to let my daughter associate with +you, and should not have objected if you had married her off my +hands into a highly-connected family. Now, however, when you are +nothing but one of the workmen in my manufactory of money, your +social position is seriously altered for the worse; and, as I +could not possibly think of you for a son-in-law, I have +considered it best to prevent all chance of your communicating +with Alicia again, by sending her away from this house while you +are in it. You will be in it until I have completed certain +business arrangements now in a forward state of progress--after +that, you may go away if you please. Pray remember that you have +to thank yourself for the position you now stand in; and do me +the justice to admit that my conduct toward you is remarkably +straightforward, and perfectly natural under all the +circumstances." + +These words fairly overwhelmed me. I did not even make an attempt +to answer them. The hard trials to my courage, endurance, and +physical strength, through which I had passed within the last +twelve hours, had completely exhausted all my powers of +resistance. I went away speechless to my own room; and when I +found myself alone there, burst out crying. Childish, was it not? + +When I had been rested and strengthened by a few hours' sleep, I +found myself able to confront the future with tolerable calmness. + +What would it be best for me to do? Ought I to attempt to make my +escape? I did not despair of succeeding; but when I began to +think of the consequences of success, I hesitated. My chief +object now was, not so much to secure my own freedom, as to find +my way to Alicia. I had never been so deeply and desperately in +love with her as I was now, when I knew she was separated from +me. Suppose I succeeded in escaping from the clutches of Doctor +Dulcifer--might I not be casting myself uselessly on the world, +without a chance of finding a single clew to trace her by? +Suppose, on the other hand, that I remained for the present in +the red-brick house--should I not by that course of conduct be +putting myself in the best position for making discoveries? + +In the first place, there was the chance that Alicia might find +some secret means of communicating with me if I remained where I +was. In the second place, the doctor would, in all probability, +have occasion to write to his daughter, or would be likely to +receive letters from her; and, if I quieted all suspicion on my +account, by docile behavior, and kept my eyes sharply on the +lookout, I might find opportunities of surprising the secrets of +his writing-desk. I felt that I need be under no restraints of +honor with a man who was keeping me a prisoner, and who had made +an accomplice of me by threatening my life. Accordingly, while +resolving to show outwardly an amiable submission to my fate, I +determined at the same time to keep secretly on the watch, and to +take the very first chance of outwitting Doctor Dulcifer that +might happen to present itself. When we next met I was perfectly +civil to him. He was too well-bred a man not to match me on the +common ground of courtesy. + +"Permit me to congratulate you," he said, "on the improvement in +your manner and appearance. You are beginning well, Francis. Go +on as you have begun." + +CHAPTER X. + +MY first few days' experience in my new position satisfied me +that Doctor Dulcifer preserved himself from betrayal by a system +of surveillance worthy of the very worst days of the Holy +Inquisition itself. + +No man of us ever knew that he was not being overlooked at home, +or followed when he went out, by another man. Peepholes were +pierced in the wall of each room, and we were never certain, +while at work, whose eye was observing, or whose ear was +listening in secret. Though we all lived together, we were +probably the least united body of men ever assembled under one +roof. By way of effectually keeping up the want of union between +us, we were not all trusted alike. I soon discovered that Old +File and Young File were much further advanced in the doctor's +confidence than Mill, Screw, or myself. There was a locked-up +room, and a continually-closed door shutting off a back +staircase, of both of which Old File and Young File possessed +keys that were never so much as trusted in the possession of the +rest of us. There was also a trap-door in the floor of the +principal workroom, the use of which was known to nobody but the +doctor and his two privileged men. If we had not been all nearly +on an equality in the matter of wages, these distinctions would +have made bad blood among us. As it was, nobody having reason to +complain of unjustly-diminished wages, nobody cared about any +preferences in which profit was not involved. + +The doctor must have gained a great deal of money by his skill as +a coiner. His profits in business could never have averaged less +than five hundred per cent; and, to do him justice, he was really +a generous as well as a rich master. + +Even I, as a new hand, was, in fair proportion, as well paid by +the week as the rest. + +We, of course, had nothing to do with the passing of false +money--we only manufactured it (sometimes at the rate of four +hundred pounds' worth in a week); and left its circulation to be +managed by our customers in London and the large towns. Whatever +we paid for in Barkingham was paid for in the genuine Mint +coinage. I used often to compare my own true guineas, half-crowns +and shillings with our imitations under the doctor's supervision, +and was always amazed at the resemblance. Our scientific chief +had discovered a process something like what is called +electrotyping nowadays, as I imagine. He was very proud of this; +but he was prouder still of the ring of his metal, and with +reason: it must have been a nice ear indeed that could discover +the false tones in the doctor's coinage. + +If I had been the most scrupulous man in the world, I must still +have received my wages, for the very necessary purpose of not +appearing to distinguish myself invidiously from my +fellow-workmen. Upon the whole, I got on well with them. Old File +and I struck up quite a friendship. Young File and Mill worked +harmoniously with me, but Screw and I (as I had foreboded) +quarreled. + +This last man was not on good terms with his fellows, and had +less of the doctor's confidence than any of the rest of us. +Naturally not of a sweet temper, his isolated position in the +house had soured him, and he rashly attempted to vent his +ill-humor on me, as a newcomer. For some days I bore with him +patiently; but at last he got the better of my powers of +endurance; and I gave him a lesson in manners, one day, on the +educational system of Gentleman Jones. He did not return the +blow, or complain to the doctor; he only looked at me wickedly, +and said: "I'll be even with you for that, some of these days." I +soon forgot the words and the look. + +With Old File, as I have said, I became quite friendly. Excepting +the secrets of our prison-house, he was ready enough to talk on +subjects about which I was curious. + +He had known his present master as a young man, and was perfectly +familiar with all the events of his career. From various +conversations, at odds and ends of spare time, I discovered that +Doctor Dulcifer had begun life as a footman in a gentleman's +family; that his young mistress had eloped with him, taking away +with her every article of value that was her own personal +property, in the shape of jewelry and dresses; that they had +lived upon the sale of these things for some time; and that the +husband, when the wife's means were exhausted, had turned +strolling-player for a year or two. Abandoning that pursuit, he +had next become a quack-doctor, first in a resident, then in a +vagabond capacity--taking a medical degree of his own conferring, +and holding to it as a good traveling title for the rest of his +life. From the selling of quack medicines he had proceeded to the +adulterating of foreign wines, varied by lucrative evening +occupation in the Paris gambling houses. On returning to his +native land, he still continued to turn his chemical knowledge to +account, by giving his services to that particular branch of our +commercial industry which is commonly described as the +adulteration of commodities; and from this he had gradually risen +to the more refined pursuit of adulterating gold and silver--or, +to use the common phrase again, making bad money. + +According to Old File's statement, though Doctor Dulcifer had +never actually ill-used his wife, he had never lived on kind +terms with her: the main cause of the estrangement between them, +in later years, being Mrs. Dulcifer's resolute resistance to her +husband's plans for emerging from poverty, by the simple process +of coining his own money. The poor woman still held fast by some +of the principles imparted to her in happier days; and she was +devotedly fond of her daughter. At the time of her sudden death, +she was secretly making arrangements to leave the doctor, and +find a refuge for herself and her child in a foreign country, +under the care of the one friend of her family who had not cast +her off. Questioning my informant about Alicia next, I found that +he knew very little about her relations with her father in later +years. That she must long since have discovered him to be not +quite so respectable a man as he looked, and that she might +suspect something wrong was going on in the house at the present +time, were, in Old File's opinion, matters of certainty; but that +she knew anything positively on the subject of her father's +occupations, he seemed to doubt. The doctor was not the sort of +man to give his daughter, or any other woman, the slightest +chance of surprising his secrets. + +These particulars I gleaned during one long month of servitude +and imprisonment in the fatal red-brick house. + +During all that time not the slightest intimation reached me of +Alicia's whereabouts. Had she forgotten me? I could not believe +it. Unless the dear brown eyes were the falsest hypocrites in the +world, it was impossible that she should have forgotten me. Was +she watched? Were all means of communicating with me, even in +secret, carefully removed from her? I looked oftener and oftener +into the doctor's study as those questions occurred to me; but he +never quitted it without locking the writing-desk first--he never +left any papers scattered on the table, and he was never absent +from the room at any special times and seasons that could be +previously calculated upon. I began to despair, and to feel in my +lonely moments a yearning to renew that childish experiment of +crying, which I have already adverted to, in the way of +confession. Moralists will be glad to hear that I really suffered +acute mental misery at this time of my life. My state of +depression would have gratified the most exacting of Methodists; +and my penitent face would have made my fortune if I could only +have been exhibited by a reformatory association on the platform +of Exeter Hall. + +How much longer was this to last? Whither should I turn my steps +when I regained my freedom? In what direction throughout all +England should I begin to look for Alicia? + +Sleeping and walking--working and idling--those were now my +constant thoughts. I did my best to prepare myself for every +emergency that could happen; I tried to arm myself beforehand +against every possible accident that could befall me. While I was +still hard at work sharpening my faculties and disciplining my +energies in this way, an accident befell the doctor, on the +possibility of which I had not dared to calculate, even in my +most hopeful moments. + +CHAPTER XI. + +ONE morning I was engaged in the principal workroom with my +employer. We were alone. Old File and his son were occupied in +the garrets. Screw had been sent to Barkingham, accompanied, on +the usual precautionary plan, by Mill. They had been gone nearly +an hour when the doctor sent me into the next room to moisten and +knead up some plaster of Paris. While I was engaged in this +occupation, I suddenly heard strange voices in the large +workroom. My curiosity was instantly excited. I drew back the +little shutter from the peephole in the wall, and looked through +it. + +I saw first my old enemy, Screw, with his villainous face much +paler than usual; next, two respectably-dressed strangers whom he +appeared to have brought into the room; and next to them Young +File, addressing himself to the doctor. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said my friend, the workman-like +footman; "but before these gentlemen say anything for themselves, +I wish to explain, as they seem strangers to you, that I only let +them in after I had heard them give the password. My instructions +are to let anybody in on our side of the door if they can give +the password. No offense, sir, but I want it to be understood +that I have done my duty." + +"Quite right, my man," said the doctor, in his blandest manner. +"You may go back to your work." + +Young File left the room, with a scrutinizing look for the two +strangers and a suspicious frown for Screw. + +"Allow us to introduce ourselves," began the elder of the two +strangers. + +"Pardon me for a moment," interposed the doctor. "Where is Mill?" +he added, turning to Screw. + +"Doing our errands at Barkingham," answered Screw, turning paler +than ever. + +"We happened to meet your two men, and to ask them the way to +your house," said the stranger who had just spoken. "This man, +with a caution that does him infinite credit, required to know +our business before he told us. We managed to introduce the +password--'Happy-go-lucky'--into our answer. This of course +quieted suspicion; and he, at our request, guided us here, +leaving his fellow-workman, as he has just told you, to do all +errands at Barkingham." + +While these words were being spoken, I saw Screw's eyes wandering +discontentedly and amazedly round the room. He had left me in it +with the doctor before he went out: was he disappointed at not +finding me in it on his return? + +While this thought was passing through my mind, the stranger +resumed his explanations. + +"We are here," he said, "as agents appointed to transact private +business, out of London, for Mr. Manasseh, with whom you have +dealings, I think?" + +"Certainly," said the doctor, with a smile. + +"And who owes you a little account, which we are appointed to +settle." + +"Just so!" remarked the doctor, pleasantly rubbing his hands one +over the other. "My good friend, Mr. Manasseh, does not like to +trust the post, I suppose? Very glad to make your acquaintance, +gentlemen. Have you got the little memorandum about you?" + +"Yes; but we think there is a slight inaccuracy in it. Have you +any objection to let us refer to your ledger?" + +"Not the least in the world. Screw, go down into my private +laboratory, open the table-drawer nearest the window, and bring +up a locked book, with a parchment cover, which you will find in +it." + +As Screw obeyed I saw a look pass between him and the two +strangers which made me begin to feel a little uneasy. I thought +the doctor noticed it too; but he preserved his countenance, as +usual, in a state of the most unruffled composure. + +"What a time that fellow is gone!" he exclaimed gayly. "Perhaps I +had better go and get the book myself." + +The two strangers had been gradually lessening the distance +between the doctor and themselves, ever since Screw had left the +room. The last words were barely out of his mouth, before they +both sprang upon him, and pinioned his arms with their hands. + +"Steady, my fine fellow," said Mr. Manasseh's head agent. "It's +no go. We are Bow Street runners, and we've got you for coining." + +"Not a doubt of it," said the doctor, with the most superb +coolness. "You needn't hold me. I'm not fool enough to resist +when I'm fairly caught." + +"Wait till we've searched you; and then we'll talk about that," +said the runner.* + +The doctor submitted to the searching with the patience of a +martyr. No offensive weapon being found in his pockets, they +allowed him to sit down unmolested in the nearest chair. + +"Screw, I suppose?" said the doctor, looking inquiringly at the +officers. + +"Exactly," said the principal man of the two. "We have been +secretly corresponding with him for weeks past. We have nabbed +the man who went out with him, and got him safe at Barkingham. +Don't expect Screw back with the ledger. As soon as he has made +sure that the rest of you are in the house, he is to fetch +another man or two of our Bow Street lot, who are waiting outside +till they hear from us. We only want an old man and a young one, +and a third pal of yours who is a gentleman born, to make a +regular clearance in the house. When we have once got you all, it +will be the prettiest capture that's ever been made since I was +in the force." + +What the doctor answered to this I cannot say. Just as the +officer had done speaking, I heard footsteps approaching the room +in which I was listening. Was Screw looking for me? I instantly +closed the peephole and got behind the door. It opened back upon +me, and, sure enough, Screw entered cautiously. + +An empty old wardrobe stood opposite the door. Evidently +suspecting that I might have taken the alarm and concealed myself +inside it, he approached it on tiptoe. On tiptoe also I followed +him; and, just as his hands were on the wardrobe door, my hands +were on his throat. He was a little man, and no match for me. I +easily and gently laid him on his back, in a voiceless and +half-suffocated state--throwing myself right over him, to keep +his legs quiet. When I saw his face getting black, and his small +eyes growing largely globular, I let go with one hand, crammed my +empty plaster of Paris bag, which lay close by, into his mouth, +tied it fast, secured his hands and feet, and then left him +perfectly harmless, while I took counsel with myself how best to +secure my own safety. + +I should have made my escape at once; but for what I heard the +officer say about the men who were waiting outside. Were they +waiting near or at a distance? Were they on the watch at the +front or the back of the house? I thought it highly desirable to +give myself a chance of ascertaining their whereabouts from the +talk of the officers in the next room, before I risked the +possibility of running right into their clutches on the outer +side of the door. + +I cautiously opened the peephole once more. + +The doctor appeared to be still on the most friendly terms with +his vigilant guardians from Bow Street. + +"Have you any objection to my ringing for some lunch, before we +are all taken off to London together?" I heard him ask in his +most cheerful tones. "A glass of wine and a bit of bread and +cheese won't do you any harm, gentlemen, if you are as hungry as +I am." + +"If you want to eat and drink, order the victuals at once," +replied one of the runners, sulkily. "We don't happen to want +anything ourselves." + +"Sorry for it," said the doctor. "I have some of the best old +Madeira in England." + +"Like enough," retorted the officer sarcastically. "But you see +we are not quite such fools as we look; and we have heard of such +a thing, in our time, as hocussed wine." + +"O fie! fie!" exclaimed the doctor merrily. "Remember how well I +am behaving myself, and don't wound my feelings by suspecting me +of such shocking treachery as that!" + +He moved to a corner of the room behind him, and touched a knob +in the wall which I had never before observed. A bell rang +directly, which had a new tone in it to my ears. + +"Too bad," said the doctor, turning round again to the runners; +"really too bad, gentlemen, to suspect me of that!" + +Shaking his head deprecatingly, he moved back to the corner, +pulled aside something in the wall, disclosed the mouth of a pipe +which was a perfect novelty to me, and called down it. + +"Moses!" + +It was the first time I had heard that name in the house. + +"Who is Moses?" inquired the officers both together, advancing on +him suspiciously. + +"Only my servant," answered the doctor. He turned once more to +the pipe, and called down it: + +"Bring up the Stilton Cheese, and a bottle of the Old Madeira." + +The cheese we had in use at that time was of purely Dutch +extraction. I remembered Port, Sherry, and Claret in my palmy +dinner-days at the doctor's family-table; but certainly not Old +Madeira. Perhaps he selfishly kept his best wine and his choicest +cheese for his own consumption. + +"Sam," said one of the runners to the other, "you look to our +civil friend here, and I'll grab Moses when he brings up the +lunch." + +"Would you like to see what the operation of coining is, while my +man is getting the lunch ready?" said the doctor. "It may be of +use to me at the trial, if you can testify that I afforded you +every facility for finding out anything you might want to know. +Only mention my polite anxiety to make things easy and +instructive from the very first, and I may get recommended to +mercy. See here--this queer-looking machine, gentlemen (from +which two of my men derive their nicknames), is what we call a +Mill-and-Screw." + +He began to explain the machine with the manner and tone of a +lecturer at a scientific institution. In spite of themselves, the +officers burst out laughing. I looked round at Screw as the +doctor got deeper into his explanations. The traitor was rolling +his wicked eyes horribly at me. They presented so shocking a +sight, that I looked away again. What was I to do next? The +minutes were getting on, and I had not heard a word yet, through +the peephole, on the subject of the reserve of Bow Street runners +outside. Would it not be best to risk everything, and get away at +once by the back of the house? + +Just as I had resolved on v enturing the worst, and making my +escape forthwith, I heard the officers interrupt the doctor's +lecture. + +"Your lunch is a long time coming," said one of them. + +"Moses is lazy," answered the doctor; "and the Madeira is in a +remote part of the cellar. Shall I ring again?" + +"Hang your ringing again!" growled the runner, impatiently. "I +don't understand why our reserve men are not here yet. Suppose +you go and give them a whistle, Sam." + +"I don't half like leaving you," returned Sam. "This learned +gentleman here is rather a shifty sort of chap; and it strikes me +that two of us isn't a bit too much to watch him." + +"What's that?" exclaimed Sam's comrade, suspiciously. + +A crash of broken crockery in the lower part of the house had +followed that last word of the cautious officer's speech. +Naturally, I could draw no special inference from the sound; but, +for all that, it filled me with a breathless interest and +suspicion, which held me irresistibly at the peephole--though the +moment before I had made up my mind to fly from the house. + +"Moses is awkward as well as lazy," said the doctor. "He has +dropped the tray! Oh, dear, dear me! he has certainly dropped the +tray." + +"Let's take our learned friend downstairs between us," suggested +Sam. "I shan't be easy till we've got him out of the house." + +"And I shan't be easy if we don't handcuff him before we leave +the room," returned the other. + +"Rude conduct, gentlemen--after all that has passed, remarkably +rude conduct," said the doctor. "May I, at least, get my hat +while my hands are at liberty? It hangs on that peg opposite to +us." He moved toward it a few steps into the middle of the room +while he spoke. + +"Stop!" said Sam; "I'll get your hat for you. We'll see if +there's anything inside it or not, before you put it on." + +The doctor stood stockstill, like a soldier at the word, Halt. + +"And I'll get the handcuffs," said the other runner, searching +his coat-pockets. + +The doctor bowed to him assentingly and forgivingly . + +"Only oblige me with my hat, and I shall be quite ready for you," +he said--paused for one moment, then repeated the words, "Quite +ready," in a louder tone--and instantly disappeared through the +floor! + +I saw the two officers rush from opposite ends of the room to a +great opening in the middle of it. The trap-door on which the +doctor had been standing, and on which he had descended, closed +up with a bang at the same moment; and a friendly voice from the +lower regions called out gayly, "Good-by!" + +The officers next made for the door of the room. It had been +locked from the other side. As they tore furiously at the handle, +the roll of the wheels of the doctor's gig sounded on the drive +in front of the house; and the friendly voice called out once +more, "Good-by!" + +I waited just long enough to see the baffled officers unbarring +the window shutters for the purpose of giving the alarm, before I +closed the peephole, and with a farewell look at the distorted +face of my prostrate enemy, Screw, left the room. + +The doctor's study-door was open as I passed it on my way +downstairs. The locked writing-desk, which probably contained the +only clew to Alicia's retreat that I was likely to find, was in +its usual place on the table. There was no time to break it open +on the spot. I rolled it up in my apron, took it off bodily under +my arm, and descended to the iron door on the staircase. Just as +I was within sight of it, it was opened from the landing on the +other side. I turned to run upstairs again, when a familiar voice +cried, "Stop!" and looking round, I beheld Young File. + +"All right!" he said. "Father's off with the governor in the gig, +and the runners in hiding outside are in full cry after them. If +Bow Street can get within pistol-shot of the blood mare, all I +can say is, I give Bow Street full leave to fire away with both +barrels! Where's Screw?" + +"Gagged by me in the casting-room." + +"Well done, you! Got all your things, I see, under your arm? Wait +two seconds while I grab my money. Never mind the rumpus +upstairs--there's nobody outside to help them; and the gate's +locked, if there was." + +He darted past me up the stairs. I could hear the imprisoned +officers shouting for help from the top windows. Their reserve +men must have been far away, by this time, in pursuit of the gig; +and there was not much chance of their getting useful help from +any stray countryman who might be passing along the road, except +in the way of sending a message to Barkingham. Anyhow we were +sure of a half hour to escape in, at the very least. + +"Now then," said Young File, rejoining me; "let's be off by the +back way through the plantations. How came you to lay your lucky +hands on Screw?" he continued, when we had passed through the +iron door, and had closed it after us. + +"Tell me first how the doctor managed to make a hole in the floor +just in the nick of time." + +"What! did you see the trap sprung?" + +"I saw everything." + +"The devil you did! Had you any notion that signals were going +on, all the while you were on the watch? We have a regular set of +them in case of accidents. It's a rule that father, and me, and +the doctor are never to be in the workroom together--so as to +keep one of us always at liberty to act on the signals.--Where +are you going to?" + +"Only to get the gardener's ladder to help us over the wall. Go +on." + +"The first signal is a private bell--that means, _Listen at the +pipe._ The next is a call down the pipe for 'Moses'--that means, +_ Danger! Lock the door._ 'Stilton Cheese' means, _Put the Mare +to;_ and 'Old Madeira' _Stand by the trap._ The trap works in +that locked-up room you never got into; and when our hands are on +the machinery, we are awkward enough to have a little accident +with the luncheon tray. 'Quite Ready' is the signal to lower the +trap, which we do in the regular theater-fashion. We lowered the +doctor smartly enough, as you saw, and got out by the back +staircase. Father went in the gig, and I let them out and locked +the gates after them. Now you know as much as I've got breath to +tell you." + +We scaled the wall easily by the help of the ladder. When we were +down on the other side, Young File suggested that the safest +course for us was to separate, and for each to take his own way. +We shook hands and parted. He went southward, toward London, and +I went westward, toward the sea-coast, with Doctor Dulcifer's +precious writing-desk safe under my arm. + +---- * The "Bow Street runners" of those days were the +predecessors of the detective police of the present time. + + +CHAPTER XII. + +FOR a couple of hours I walked on briskly, careless in what +direction I went, so long as I kept my back turned on Barkingham. + +By the time I had put seven miles of ground, according to my +calculations, between me and the red-brick house, I began to look +upon the doctor's writing-desk rather in the light of an +incumbrance, and determined to examine it without further delay. +Accordingly I picked up the first large stone I could find in the +road, crossed a common, burst through a hedge, and came to a +halt, on the other side, in a thick wood. Here, finding myself +well screened from public view, I broke open the desk with the +help of the stone, and began to look over the contents. + +To my unspeakable disappointment I found but few papers of any +kind to examine. The desk was beautifully fitted with all the +necessary materials for keeping up a large correspondence; but +there were not more than half a dozen letters in it altogether. +Four were on business matters, and the other two were of a +friendly nature, referring to persons and things in which I did +not feel the smallest interest. I found besides half a dozen +bills receipted (the doctor was a mirror of punctuality in the +payment of tradesmen), note and letter-paper of the finest +quality, clarified pens, a pretty little pin-cushion, two small +account-books filled with the neatest entries, and some leaves of +blotting-paper. Nothing else; absolutely nothing else, in the +treacherous writing-desk on which I had implicitly relied to +guide me to Alicia's hiding-place. + +I groaned in sheer wretchedness over the destruction of all my +dearest plans and hopes. If the Bow Street runners had come into +the plantation just as I had completed the rifling of the desk I +think I should have let them take me without making the slightest +effort at escape. As it was, no living soul appeared within sight +of me. I must have sat at the foot of a tree for full half an +hour, with the doctor's useless bills and letters before me, with +my head in my hands, and with all my energies of body and mind +utterly crushed by despair. + +At the end of the half hour, the natural restlessness of my +faculties began to make itself felt. + +Whatever may be said about it in books, no emotion in this world +ever did, or ever will, last for long together. The strong +feeling may return over and over again; but it must have its +constant intervals of change or repose. In real life the +bitterest grief doggedly takes its rest and dries its eyes; the +heaviest despair sinks to a certain level, and stops there to +give hope a chance of rising, in spite of us. Even the joy of an +unexpected meeting is always an imperfect sensation, for it never +lasts long enough to justify our secret anticipations--our +happiness dwindles to mere every-day contentment before we have +half done with it. + +I raised my head, and gathered the bills and letters together, +and stood up a man again, wondering at the variableness of my own +temper, at the curious elasticity of that toughest of all the +vital substances within us, which we call Hope. "Sitting and +sighing at the foot of this tree," I thought, "is not the way to +find Alicia, or to secure my own safety. Let me circulate my +blood and rouse my ingenuity, by taking to the road again." + +Before I forced my way back to the open side of the hedge, I +thought it desirable to tear up the bills and letters, for fear +of being traced by them if they were found in the plantation. The +desk I left where it was, there being no name on it. The +note-paper and pens I pocketed--forlorn as my situation was, it +did not authorize me to waste stationery. The blotting-paper was +the last thing left to dispose of: two neatly-folded sheets, +quite clean, except in one place, where the impression of a few +lines of writing appeared. I was about to put the blotting-paper +into my pocket after the pens, when something in the look of the +writing impressed on it, stopped me. + +Four blurred lines appeared of not more than two or three words +each, running out one beyond another regularly from left to +right. Had the doctor been composing poetry and blotting it in a +violent hurry? At a first glance, that was more than I could +tell. The order of the written letters, whatever they might be, +was reversed on the face of the impression taken of them by the +blotting-paper. I turned to the other side of the leaf. The order +of the letters was now right, but the letters themselves were +sometimes too faintly impressed, sometimes too much blurred +together to be legible. I held the leaf up to the light--and +there was a complete change: the blurred letters grew clearer, +the invisible connecting lines appeared--I could read the words +from first to last. + +The writing must have been hurried, and it had to all appearance +been hurriedly dried toward the corner of a perfectly clean leaf +of the blotting-paper. After twice reading, I felt sure that I +had made out correctly the following address: + +Miss Giles, 2 Zion Place, Crickgelly, N. Wales. + +It was hard under the circumstances, to form an opinion as to the +handwriting; but I thought I could recognize the character of +some of the doctor's letters, even in the blotted impression of +them. Supposing I was right, who was Miss Giles? + +Some Welsh friend of the doctor's, unknown to me? Probably +enough. But why not Alicia herself under an assumed name? Having +sent her from home to keep her out of my way, it seemed next to a +certainty that her father would take all possible measures to +prevent my tracing her, and would, therefore, as a common act of +precaution, forbid her to travel under her own name. Crickgelly, +North Wales, was assuredly a very remote place to banish her to; +but then the doctor was not a man to do things by halves: he knew +the lengths to which my cunning and resolution were capable of +carrying me; and he would have been innocent indeed if he had +hidden his daughter from me in any place within reasonable +distance of Barkingham. Last, and not least important, Miss Giles +sounded in my ears exactly like an assumed name. + +Was there ever any woman absolutely and literally named Miss +Giles? However I may have altered my opinion on this point since, +my mind was not in a condition at that time to admit the possible +existence of any such individual as a maiden Giles. Before, +therefore, I had put the precious blotting-paper into my pocket, +I had satisfied myself that my first duty, under all the +circumstances, was to shape my flight immediately to Crickgelly. +I could be certain of nothing--not even of identifying the +doctor's handwriting by the impression on the blotting-paper. But +provided I kept clear of Barkingham, it was all the same to me +what part of the United Kingdom I went to; and, in the absence of +any actual clew to her place of residence, there was consolation +and encouragement even in following an imaginary trace. My +spirits rose to their natural height as I struck into the +highroad again, and beheld across the level plain the smoke, +chimneys, and church spires of a large manufacturing town. There +I saw the welcome promise of a coach--the happy chance of making +my journey to Crickgelly easy and rapid from the very outset. + +On my way to the town, I was reminded by the staring of all the +people I passed on the road, of one important consideration which +I had hitherto most unaccountably overlooked--the necessity of +making some radical change in my personal appearance. + +I had no cause to dread the Bow Street runners, for not one of +them had seen me; but I had the strongest possible reasons for +distrusting a meeting with my enemy, Screw. He would certainly be +made use of by the officers for the purpose of identifying the +companions whom he had betrayed; and I had the best reasons in +the world to believe that he would rather assist in the taking of +me than in the capture of all the rest of the coining gang put +together--the doctor himself not excepted. My present costume was +of the dandy sort--rather shabby, but gay in color and outrageous +in cut. I had not altered it for an artisan's suit in the +doctor's house, because I never had any intention of staying +there a day longer than I could possibly help. The apron in which +I had wrapped the writing-desk was the only approach I had made +toward wearing the honorable uniform of the workingman. + +Would it be wise now to make my transformation complete, by +adding to the apron a velveteen jacket and a sealskin cap? No: my +hands were too white, my manners too inveterately gentleman-like, +for all artisan disguise. It would be safer to assume a serious +character--to shave off my whiskers, crop my hair, buy a modest +hat and umbrella, and dress entirely in black. At the first +slopshop I encountered in the suburbs of the town, I got a +carpet-bag and a clerical-looking suit. At the first easy +shaving-shop I passed, I had my hair cropped and my whiskers +taken off. After that I retreated again to the country--walked +back till I found a convenient hedge down a lane off the +highroad--changed my upper garments behind it, and emerged, +bashful, black, and reverend, with my cotton umbrella tucked +modestly under my arm, my eyes on the ground, my head in the air, +and my hat off my forehead. When I found two laborers touching +their caps to me on my way back to the town, I knew that it was +all right, and that I might now set the vindictive eyes of Screw +himself safely at defiance. + +I had not the most distant notion where I was when I reached the +High Street, and stopped at The Green Bull Hotel and +Coach-office. However, I managed to mention my modest wishes to +be conveyed at once in the direction of Wales, with no more than +a becoming confusion of manner. + +The answer was not so encouraging as I could have wished. The +coach to Shrewsbury had left an hour before, and there would be +no other public conveyance running in my direct ion until the +next morning. Finding myself thus obliged to yield to adverse +circumstances, I submitted resignedly, and booked a place outside +by the next day's coach, in the name of the Reverend John Jones. +I thought it desirable to be at once unassuming and Welsh in the +selection of a traveling name; and therefore considered John +Jones calculated to fit me, in my present emergency, to a hair. + +After securing a bed at the hotel, and ordering a frugal curate's +dinner (bit of fish, two chops, mashed potatoes, semolina +pudding, half-pint of sherry), I sallied out to look at the town. + +Not knowing the name of it, and not daring to excite surprise by +asking, I found the place full of vague yet mysterious interest. +Here I was, somewhere in central England, just as ignorant of +localities as if I had been suddenly deposited in Central Africa. +My lively fancy revelled in the new sensation. I invented a name +for the town, a code of laws for the inhabitants, productions, +antiquities, chalybeate springs, population, statistics of crime, +and so on, while I walked about the streets, looked in at the +shop-windows, and attentively examined the Market-place and +Town-hall. Experienced travelers, who have exhausted all +novelties, would do well to follow my example; they may be +certain, for one day at least, of getting some fresh ideas, and +feeling a new sensation. + +On returning to dinner in the coffee-room, I found all the London +papers on the table. + +The _Morning Post_ happened to lie uppermost, so I took it away +to my own seat to occupy the time, while my unpretending bit of +fish was frying. Glancing lazily at the advertisements on the +first page, to begin with, I was astonished by the appearance of +the following lines, at the top of a column: + + + +"If F-- --K S--FTL--Y will communicate with his distressed and +alarmed relatives, Mr. and Mrs. B--TT--RB--RY, he will hear of +something to his advantage, and may be assured that all will be +once more forgiven. A--B--LLA entreats him to write." + + + +What, in the name of all that is most mysterious, does this mean! +was my first thought after reading the advertisement. Can Lady +Malkinshaw have taken a fresh lease of that impregnable vital +tenement, at the door of which Death has been knocking vainly for +so many years past? (Nothing more likely.) Was my felonious +connection with Doctor Dulcifer suspected? (It seemed +improbable.) One thing, however, was certain: I was missed, and +the Batterburys were naturally anxious about me--anxious enough +to advertise in the public papers. + +I debated with myself whether I should answer their pathetic +appeal or not. I had all my money about me (having never let it +out of my own possession during my stay in the red-brick house), +and there was plenty of it for the present; so I thought it best +to leave the alarm and distress of my anxious relatives +unrelieved for a little while longer, and to return quietly to +the perusal of the _ Morning Post._ + +Five minutes of desultory reading brought me unexpectedly to an +explanation of the advertisement, in the shape of the following +paragraph: + + + +"ALARMING ILLNESS OF LADY MALKINSHAW.--We regret to announce that +this venerable lady was seized with an alarming illness on +Saturday last, at her mansion in town. The attack took the +character of a fit--of what precise nature we have not been able +to learn. Her ladyship's medical attendant and near relative, +Doctor Softly, was immediately called in, and predicted the most +fatal results. Fresh medical attendance was secured, and her +ladyship's nearest surviving relatives, Mrs. Softly, and Mr. and +Mrs. Batterbury, of Duskydale Park, were summoned. At the time of +their arrival her ladyship's condition was comatose, her +breathing being highly stertorous. If we are rightly informed, +Doctor Softly and the other medical gentlemen present gave it as +their opinion that if the pulse of the venerable sufferer did not +rally in the course of a quarter of au hour at most, very +lamentable results might be anticipated. For fourteen minutes, as +our reporter was informed, no change took place; but, strange to +relate, immediately afterward her ladyship's pulse rallied +suddenly in the most extraordinary manner. She was observed to +open her eyes very wide, and was heard, to the surprise and +delight of all surrounding the couch, to ask why her ladyship's +usual lunch of chicken-broth with a glass of Amontillado sherry +was not placed on the table as usual. These refreshments having +been produced, under the sanction of the medical gentlemen, the +aged patient partook of them with an appearance of the utmost +relish. Since this happy alteration for the better, her +ladyship's health has, we rejoice to say, rapidly improved; and +the answer now given to all friendly and fashionable inquirers +is, in the venerable lady's own humorous phraseology, 'Much +better than could be expected.' " + + + +Well done, my excellent grandmother! my firm, my unwearied, my +undying friend! Never can I say that my case is desperate while +you can swallow your chicken-broth and sip your Amontillado +sherry. The moment I want money, I will write to Mr. Batterbury, +and cut another little golden slice out of that possible +three-thousand-pound-cake, for which he has already suffered and +sacrificed so much. In the meantime, O venerable protectress of +the wandering Rogue! let me gratefully drink your health in the +nastiest and smallest half-pint of sherry this palate ever +tasted, or these eyes ever beheld! + +I went to bed that night in great spirits. My luck seemed to be +returning to me; and I began to feel more than hopeful of really +discovering my beloved Alicia at Crickgelly, under the alias of +Miss Giles. + +The next morning the Rev. John Jones descended to breakfast so +rosy, bland, and smiling, that the chambermaids simpered as he +tripped by them in the passage, and the landlady bowed graciously +as he passed her parlor door. The coach drove up, and the +reverend gentleman (after waiting characteristically for the +woman's ladder) mounted to his place on the roof, behind the +coachman. One man sat there who had got up before him--and who +should that man be, but the chief of the Bow Street runners, who +had rashly tried to take Doctor Dulcifer into custody! + +There could not be the least doubt of his identity; I should have +known his face again among a hundred. He looked at me as I took +my place by his side, with one sharp searching glance--then +turned his head away toward the road. Knowing that he had never +set eyes on my face (thanks to the convenient peephole at the +red-brick house), I thought my meeting with him was likely to be +rather advantageous than otherwise. I had now an opportunity of +watching the proceedings of one of our pursuers, at any rate--and +surely this was something gained. + +"Fine morning, sir," I said politely. + +"Yes," he replied in the gruffest of monosyllables. + +I was not offended: I could make allowance for the feelings of a +man who had been locked up by his own prisoner. + +"Very fine morning, indeed," I repeated, soothingly and +cheerfully. + +The runner only grunted this time. Well, well! we all have our +little infirmities. I don't think the worse of the man now, for +having been rude to me, that morning, on the top of the +Shrewsbury coach. + +The next passenger who got up and placed himself by my side was a +florid, excitable, confused-looking gentleman, excessively +talkative and familiar. He was followed by a sulky agricultural +youth in top-boots--and then, the complement of passengers on our +seat behind the coachman was complete. + +"Heard the news, sir?" said the florid man, turning to me. + +"Not that I am aware of," I answered. + +"It's the most tremendous thing that has happened these fifty +years," said the florid man. "A gang of coiners, sir, discovered +at Barkingham--in a house they used to call the Grange. All the +dreadful lot of bad silver that's been about, they're at the +bottom of. And the head of the gang not taken! --escaped, sir, +like a ghost on the stage, through a trap-door, after actually +locking the runners into his workshop. The blacksmiths from +Barkingham had to break them out; the whole house was found full +of iron doors, back staircases , and all that sort of thing, just +like the Inquisition. A most respectable man, the original +proprietor! Think what a misfortune to have let his house to a +scoundrel who has turned the whole inside into traps, furnaces, +and iron doors. The fellow's reference, sir, was actually at a +London bank, where he kept a first-rate account. What is to +become of society? where is our protection? Where are our +characters, when we are left at the mercy of scoundrels? The +times are awful--upon my soul, the times we live in are perfectly +awful!" + +"Pray, sir, is there any chance of catching this coiner?" I +inquired innocently. + +"I hope so, sir; for the sake of outraged society, I hope so," +said the excitable man. "They've printed handbills at Barkingham, +offering a reward for taking him. I was with my friend the mayor, +early this morning, and saw them issued. 'Mr. Mayor,' says I, +'I'm going West--give me a few copies--let me help to circulate +them--for the sake of outraged society, let me help to circulate +them. Here they are--take a few, sir, for distribution. You'll +see these are three other fellows to be caught besides the +principal rascal--one of them a scamp belonging to a respectable +family. Oh! what times! Take three copies, and pray circulate +them in three influential quarters. Perhaps that gentleman next +you would like a few. Will you take three, sir?" + +"No, I won't," said the Bow Street runner doggedly. "Nor yet one +of 'em--and it's my opinion that the coining-gang would be nabbed +all the sooner, if you was to give over helping the law to catch +them." + +This answer produced a vehement expostulation from my excitable +neighbor, to which I paid little attention, being better engaged +in reading the handbill. + +It described the doctor's personal appearance with remarkable +accuracy, and cautioned persons in seaport towns to be on the +lookout for him. Old File, Young File, and myself were all +dishonorably mentioned together in a second paragraph, as +runaways of inferior importance Not a word was said in the +handbill to show that the authorities at Barkingham even so much +as suspected the direction in which any one of us had escaped. +This would have been very encouraging, but for the presence of +the runner by my side, which looked as if Bow Street had its +suspicions, however innocent Barkingham might be. + +Could the doctor have directed his flight toward Crickgelly? I +trembled internally as the question suggested itself to me. +Surely he would prefer writing to Miss Giles to join him when he +got to a safe place of refuge, rather than encumber himself with +the young lady before he was well out of reach of the +far-stretching arm of the law. This seemed infinitely the most +natural course of conduct. Still, there was the runner traveling +toward Wales--and not certainly without a special motive. I put +the handbills in my pocket, and listened for any hints which +might creep out in his talk; but he perversely kept silent. The +more my excitable neighbor tried to dispute with him, the more +contemptuously he refused to break silence. I began to feel +vehemently impatient for our arrival at Shrewsbury; for there +only could I hope to discover something more of my formidable +fellow-traveler's plans. + +The coach stopped for dinner; and some of our passengers left us, +the excitable man with the handbills among the number. I got +down, and stood on the doorstep of the inn, pretending to be +looking about me, but in reality watching the movements of the +runner. + +Rather to my surprise, I saw him go to the door of the coach and +speak to one of the inside passengers. After a short +conversation, of which I could not hear one word, the runner left +the coach door and entered the inn, called for a glass of brandy +and water, and took it out to his friend, who had not left the +vehicle . The friend bent forward to receive it at the window. I +caught a glimpse of his face, and felt my knees tremble under +me--it was Screw himself! + +Screw, pale and haggard-looking, evidently not yet recovered from +the effect of my grip on his throat! Screw, in attendance on the +runner, traveling inside the coach in the character of an +invalid. He must be going this journey to help the Bow Street +officers to identify some one of our scattered gang of whom they +were in pursuit. It could not be the doctor--the runner could +discover him without assistance from anybody. Why might it not be +me? + +I began to think whether it would be best to trust boldly in my +disguise, and my lucky position outside the coach, or whether I +should abandon my fellow-passengers immediately. It was not easy +to settle at once which course was the safest--so I tried the +effect of looking at my two alternatives from another point of +view. Should I risk everything, and go on resolutely to +Crickgelly, on the chance of discovering that Alicia and Miss +Giles were one and the same person--or should I give up on the +spot the only prospect of finding my lost mistress, and direct my +attention entirely to the business of looking after my own +safety? + +As the latter alternative practically resolved itself into the +simple question of whether I should act like a man who was in +love, or like a man who was not, my natural instincts settled the +difficulty in no time. I boldly imitated the example of my +fellow-passengers, and went in to dinner, determined to go on +afterward to Crickgelly, though all Bow Street should be +following at my heels. + +CHAPTER XIII. + +SECURE as I tried to feel in my change of costume, my cropped +hair, and my whiskerless cheeks, I kept well away from the +coach-window, when the dinner at the inn was over and the +passengers were called to take their places again. Thus +far--thanks to the strength of my grasp on his neck, which had +left him too weak to be an outside passenger--Screw had certainly +not seen me; and, if I played my cards properly, there was no +reason why he should see me before we got to our destination. + +Throughout the rest of the journey I observed the strictest +caution, and fortune seconded my efforts. It was dark when we got +to Shrewsbury. On leaving the coach I was enabled, under cover of +the night, to keep a sharp watch on the proceedings of Screw and +his Bow Street ally. They did not put up at the hotel, but walked +away to a public house. There, my clerical character obliged me +to leave them at the door. + +I returned to the hotel, to make inquiries about conveyances. + +The answers informed me that Crickgelly was a little +fishing-village, and that there was no coach direct to it, but +that two coaches running to two small Welsh towns situated at +nearly equal distances from my destination, on either side of it, +would pass through Shrewsbury the next morning. The waiter added, +that I could book a place--conditionally--by either of these +vehicles; and that, as they were always well-filled, I had better +be quick in making my choice between them. Matters had now +arrived at such a pass, that nothing was left for me but to trust +to chance. If I waited till the morning to see whether Screw and +the Bow Street runner traveled in my direction, and to find out, +in case they did, which coach they took, I should be running the +risk of losing a place for myself, and so delaying my journey for +another day. This was not to be thought of. I told the waiter to +book me a place in which coach he pleased. The two were called +respectively The Humming Bee, and The Red Cross Knight. The +waiter chose the latter. + +Sleep was not much in my way that night. I rose almost as early +as Boots himself--breakfasted--then sat at the coffee-room window +looking out anxiously for the two coaches. + +Nobody seemed to agree which would pass first. Each of the inn +servants of whom I inquired made it a matter of partisanship, and +backed his favorite coach with the most consummate assurance. At +last, I heard the guard's horn and the clatter of the horses' +hoofs. Up drove a coach--I looked out cautiously--it was the +Humming Bee. Three outside places were vacant; one behind the +coachman; two on the dickey. The first was taken immediately by a +farmer, the second---to my unspeakable disgust and terror--was +secured by the inevitable Bow Street runner; who, as soon as h e +was up, helped the weakly Screw into the third place, by his +side. They were going to Crickgelly; not a doubt of it, now. + +I grew mad with impatience for the arrival of the Red Cross +Knight. Half-an-hour passed--forty minutes--and then I heard +another horn and another clatter--and the Red Cross Knight +rattled up to the hotel door at full speed. What if there should +be no vacant place for me! I ran to the door with a sinking +heart. Outside, the coach was declared to be full. + +"There is one inside place," said the waiter, "if you don't mind +paying the--" + +Before he could say the rest, I was occupying that one inside +place. I remember nothing of the journey from the time we left +the hotel door, except that it was fearfully long. At some hour +of the day with which I was not acquainted (for my watch had +stopped for want of winding up), I was set down in a clean little +street of a prim little town (the name of which I never thought +of asking), and was told that the coach never went any further. + +No post-chaise was to be had. With incredible difficulty I got +first a gig, then a man to drive it; and, last, a pony to draw +it. We hobbled away crazily from the inn door. I thought of Screw +and the Bow Street runner approaching Crickgelly, from their +point of the compass, perhaps at the full speed of a good +post-chaise--I thought of that, and would have given all the +money in my pocket for two hours' use of a fast road-hack. + +Judging by the time we occupied in making the journey, and a +little also by my own impatience, I should say that Crickgelly +must have been at least twenty miles distant from the town where +I took the gig. The sun was setting, when we first heard, through +the evening stillness, the sound of the surf on the seashore. The +twilight was falling as we entered the little fishing village, +and let our unfortunate pony stop, for the last time, at a small +inn door. + +The first question I asked of the landlord was, whether two +gentlemen (friends of mine, of course, whom I expected to meet) +had driven into Crickgelly, a little while before me. The reply +was in the negative; and the sense of relief it produced seemed +to rest me at once, body and mind, after my long and anxious +journey. Either I had beaten the spies on the road, or they were +not bound to Crickgelly. Any way, I had first possession of the +field of action. I paid the man who had driven me, and asked my +way to Zion Place. My directions were simple--I had only to go +through the village, and I should find Zion Place at the other +end of it. + +The village had a very strong smell, and a curious habit of +building boats in the street between intervals of detached +cottages; a helpless, muddy, fishy little place. I walked through +it rapidly; turned inland a few hundred yards; ascended some +rising ground; and discerned, in the dim twilight, four small +lonesome villas standing in pairs, with a shed and a saw-pit on +one side, and a few shells of unfinished houses on the other. +Some madly speculative builder was evidently trying to turn +Crickgelly into a watering-place. + +I made out Number Two, and discovered the bell-handle with +difficulty, it was growing so dark. A servant-maid--corporeally +enormous; but, as I soon found, in a totally undeveloped state, +mentally--opened the door. + +"Does Miss Giles live here?" I asked. + +"Don't see no visitors," answered the large maiden. "'T'other one +tried it and had to go away. You go, too." + +"'T'othor one?" I repeated. "Another visitor? And when did he +call?" + +"Better than an hour ago." + +"Was there nobody with him?" + +"No. Don't see no visitors. He went. You go, too " + +Just as she repeated that exasperating formula of words, a door +opened at the end of the passage. My voice had evidently reached +the ears of somebody in the back parlor. Who the person was I +could not see, but I heard the rustle of a woman's dress. My +situation was growing desperate, my suspicions were aroused--I +determined to risk everything--and I called softly in the +direction of the open door, "Alicia!" + +A voice answered, "Good heavens! Frank?" It was _her_ voice. She +had recognized mine. I pushed past the big servant; in two steps +I was at the end of the passage; in one more I was in the back +parlor. + +She was there, standing alone by the side of a table. Seeing my +changed costume and altered face, she turned deadly pale, and +stretched her hand behind her mechanically, as if to take hold of +a chair. I caught her in my arms; but I was afraid to kiss +her--she trembled so when I only touched her. + +"Frank!" she said, drawing her head back. "What is it? How did +you find out? For mercy's sake what does it mean?" + +"It means, love, that I've come to take care of you for the rest +of your life and mine, if you will only let me. Don't +tremble--there's nothing to be afraid of! Only compose yourself, +and I'll tell you why I am here in this strange disguise. Come, +come, Alicia!--don't look like that at me. You called me Frank +just now, for the first time. Would you have done that, if you +had disliked me or forgotten me?" + +I saw her color beginning to come back--the old bright glow +returning to the dear dusky cheeks. If I had not seen them so +near me, I might have exercised some self-control--as it was, I +lost my presence of mind entirely, and kissed her. + +She drew herself away half-frightened, half-confused--certainly +not offended, and, apparently, not very likely to faint--which +was more than I could have said of her when I first entered the +room. Before she had time to reflect on the peril and awkwardness +of our position, I pressed the first necessary questions on her +rapidly, one after the other. + +"Where is Mrs. Baggs?" I asked first. + +Mrs. Baggs was the housekeeper. + +Alicia pointed to the closed folding-doors. "In the front parlor; +asleep on the sofa." + +"Have you any suspicion who the stranger was who called more than +an hour ago?" + +"None. The servant told him we saw no visitors, and he went away, +without leaving his name." + +"Have you heard from your father?" + +She began to turn pale again, but controlled herself bravely, and +answered in a whisper: + +"Mrs. Baggs had a short note from him this morning. It was not +dated; and it only said circumstances had happened which obliged +him to leave home suddenly, and that we were to wait here till be +wrote again, most likely in a few days." + +"Now, Alicia," I said, as lightly as I could, "I have the highest +possible opinion of your courage, good-sense, and self-control; +and I shall expect you to keep up your reputation in my eyes, +while you are listening to what I have to tell you." + +Saying these words, I took her by the hand and made her sit close +by me; then, breaking it to her as gently and gradually as +possible, I told her all that had happened at the red-brick house +since the evening when she left the dinner-table, and we +exchanged our parting look at the dining-room door. + +It was almost as great a trial to me to speak as it was to her to +hear. She suffered so violently, felt such evident misery of +shame and terror, while I was relating the strange events which +had occurred in her absence, that I once or twice stopped in +alarm, and almost repented my boldness in telling her the truth. +However, fair-dealing with her, cruel as it might seem at the +time, was the best and safest course for the future. How could I +expect her to put all her trust in me if I began by deceiving +her--if I fell into prevarications and excuses at the very outset +of our renewal of intercourse? I went on desperately to the end, +taking a hopeful view of the most hopeless circumstances, and +making my narrative as mercifully short as possible. + +When I had done, the poor girl, in the extremity of her +forlornness and distress, forgot all the little maidenly +conventionalities and young-lady-like restraints of everyday +life--and, in a burst of natural grief and honest confiding +helplessness, hid her face on my bosom, and cried there as if she +were a child again, and I was the mother to whom she had been +used to look for comfort. + +I made no attempt to stop her tears--they were the safest and +best vent for the violent agitation under which she was +suffering. I said nothing; words, at such a ti me as that, would +only have aggravated her distress. All the questions I had to +ask; all the proposals I had to make, must, I felt, be put +off--no matter at what risk--until some later and clamer hour. +There we sat together, with one long unsnuffed candle lighting us +smokily; with the discordantly-grotesque sound of the +housekeeper's snoring in the front room, mingling with the sobs +of the weeping girl on my bosom. No other noise, great or small, +inside the house or out of it, was audible. The summer night +looked black and cloudy through the little back window. + +I was not much easier in my mind, now that the trial of breaking +my bad news to Alicia was over. That stranger who had called at +the house an hour before me, weighed on my spirits. It could not +have been Doctor Dulcifer. He would have gained admission. Could +it be the Bow Street runner, or Screw? I had lost sight of them, +it is true; but had they lost sight of me? + +Alicia's grief gradually exhausted itself. She feebly raised her +head, and, turning it away from me, hid her face. I saw that she +was not fit for talking yet, and begged her to go upstairs to the +drawing-room and lie down a little. She looked apprehensively +toward the folding-doors that shut us off from the front parlor. + +"Leave Mrs. Baggs to me," I said. "I want to have a few words +with her; and, as soon as you are gone, I'll make noise enough +here to wake her." + +Alicia looked at me inquiringly and amazedly. I did not speak +again. Time was now of terrible importance to us--I gently led +her to the door. + +CHAPTER XIV. + +As soon as I was alone, I took from my pocket one of the +handbills which my excitable fellow-traveler had presented to me, +so as to have it ready for Mrs. Baggs the moment we stood face to +face. Armed with this ominous letter of introduction, I kicked a +chair down against the folding-doors, by way of giving a +preliminary knock to arouse the housekeeper's attention. The plan +was immediately successful. Mrs. Baggs opened the doors of +communication violently. A slight smell of spirits entered the +room, and was followed close by the housekeeper herself, with an +indignant face and a disordered head-dress. + +"What do you mean, sir? How dare you--" she began; then stopped +aghast, looking at me in speechless astonishment. + +"I have been obliged to make a slight alteration in my personal +appearance, ma'am," I said. "But I am still Frank Softly." + +"Don't talk to me about personal appearances, sir," cried Mrs. +Baggs recovering. "What do you mean by being here? Leave the +house immediately. I shall write to the doctor, Mr. Softly, this +very night." + +"He has no address you can direct to," I rejoined. "If you don't +believe me, read that." I gave her the handbill without another +word of preface. + +Mrs. Baggs looked at it--lost in an instant some of the fine +color plentifully diffused over her face by sleep and +spirits--sat down in the nearest chair with a thump that seemed +to threaten the very foundations of Number Two, Zion Place--and +stared me hard in the face; the most speechless and helpless +elderly female I ever beheld. + +"Take plenty of time to compose yourself ma'am," I said. "If you +don't see the doctor again soon, under the gallows, you will +probably not have the pleasure of meeting with him for some +considerable time." + +Mrs. Baggs smote both her hands distractedly on her knees, and +whispered a devout ejaculation to herself softly. + +"Allow me to deal with you, ma'am, as a woman of the world," I +went on. "If you will give me half-an-hour's hearing, I will +explain to you how I come to know what I do; how I got here; and +what I have to propose to Miss Alicia and to you." + +"If you have the feelings of a man, sir," said Mrs. Baggs, +shaking her head and raising her eyes to heaven, "you will +remember that I have nerves, and will not presume upon them." + +As the old lady uttered the last words, I thought I saw her eyes +turn from heaven, and take the earthly direction of the sofa in +the front parlor. It struck me also that her lips looked rather +dry. Upon these two hints I spoke. + +"Might I suggest some little stimulant?" I asked, with respectful +earnestness. "I have heard my grandmother (Lady Malkinshaw) say +that, 'a drop in time saves nine.' " + +"You will find it under the sofa pillow," said Mrs. Baggs, with +sudden briskness. " 'A drop in time saves nine'--my sentiments, +if I may put myself on a par with her ladyship. The +liqueur-glass, Mr. Softly, is in the backgammon-board. I hope her +ladyship was well the last time you heard from her? Suffers from +her nerves, does she? Like me, again. In the backgammon-board. +Oh, this news, this awful news!" + +I found the bottle of brandy in the place indicated, but no +liqueur-glass in the backgammon-board. There was, however, a +wine-glass, accidentally left on a chair by the sofa. Mrs. Baggs +did not seem to notice the difference when I brought it into the +back room and filled it with brandy. + +"Take a toothful yourself," said Mrs. Baggs, lightly tossing off +the dram in a moment. " 'A drop in time'--I can't help repeating +it, it's so nicely expressed. Still, with submission to her +ladyship's better judgment, Mr. Softly, the question seems now to +arise, whether, if one drop in time saves nine, two drops in time +may not save eighteen." Here Mrs. Baggs forgot her nerves and +winked. I returned the wink and filled the glass a second time. +"Oh, this news, this awful news!" said Mrs. Baggs, remembering +her nerves again. + +Just then I thought I heard footsteps in front of the house, but, +listening more attentively, found that it had begun to rain, and +that I had been deceived by the pattering of the first heavy +drops against the windows. However, the bare suspicion that the +same stranger who had called already might be watching the house +now, was enough to startle me very seriously, and to suggest the +absolute necessity of occupying no more precious time in paying +attention to the vagaries of Mrs. Baggs' nerves. It was also of +some importance that I should speak to her while she was sober +enough to understand what I meant in a general way. + +Feeling convinced that she was in imminent danger of becoming +downright drunk if I gave her another glass, I kept my hand on +the bottle, and forthwith told my story over again in a very +abridged and unceremonious form, and without allowing her one +moment of leisure for comment on my narrative, whether it might +be of the weeping, winking, drinking, groaning, or ejaculating +kind. As I had anticipated, when I came to a conclusion, and +consequently allowed her an opportunity of saying a few words, +she affected to be extremely shocked and surprised at hearing of +the nature of her master's pursuits, and reproached me in terms +of the most vehement and virtuous indignation for incurring the +guilt of abetting them, even though I had done so from the very +excusable motive of saving my own life. Having a lively sense of +the humorous, I was necessarily rather amused by this; but I +began to get a little surprised as well, when we diverged to the +subject of the doctor's escape, on finding that Mrs. Baggs viewed +the fact of his running away to some hiding-place of his own in +the light of a personal insult to his faithful and attached +housekeeper. + +"It shows a want of confidence in me," said the old lady, "which +I may forgive, but can never forget. The sacrifices I have made +for that ungrateful man are not to be told in words. The very +morning he sent us away here, what did I do? Packed up the moment +he said Go. I had my preserves to pot, and the kitchen chimney to +be swept, and the lock of my box hampered into the bargain. Other +women in my place would have grumbled--I got up directly, as +lively as any girl of eighteen you like to mention. Says he, 'I +want Alicia taken out of young Softly's way, and you must do +it.'---Says I, 'This very morning, sir?'--Says he, 'This very +morning.'--Says I, 'Where to?'--Says he, 'As far off as ever you +can go; coast of Wales--Crickgelly. I won't trust her nearer; +young Softly's too cunning, and she's too fond of him.'--'Any +more orders, sir?' says I.--'Yes; take some fancy name--Simkins, +Johnson, Giles, Jones, James,' says he, 'what you like bu t +Dulcifer; for that scamp Softly will move heaven and earth to +trace her.'--'What else?' says I.--'Nothing, but look sharp,' +says he; 'and mind one thing, that she sees no visitors, and +posts no letters.' Before those last words had been out of his +wicked lips an hour, we were off. A nice job I had to get her +away--a nice job to stop her from writing letters to you--a nice +job to keep her here. But I did it; I followed my orders like a +slave in a plantation with a whip at his bare back. I've had +rheumatics, weak legs, bad nights, and miss in the sulks--all +from obeying the doctor's orders. And what is my reward? He turns +coiner, and runs away without a word to me beforehand, and writes +me a trumpery note, without a date to it, without a farthing of +money in it, telling me nothing! Look at my confidence in him, +and then look at the way he's treated me in return. What woman's +nerves can stand that? Don't keep fidgeting with the bottle! Pass +it this way, Mr. Softly, or you'll break it, and drive me +distracted." + +"He has no excuse, ma'am," I said. "But will you allow me to +change the subject, as I am pressed for time? You appear to be so +well acquainted with the favorable opinion which Miss Alicia and +I entertain of each other, that I hope it will be no fresh shock +to your nerves, if I inform you, in plain words, that I have come +to Crickgelly to marry her." + +"Marry her! marry--If you don't leave off fidgeting with the +bottle, Mr. Softly, and change the subject directly, I shall ring +the bell." + +"Hear me out, ma'am, and then ring if you like. If you persist, +however, in considering yourself still the confidential servant +of a felon who is now flying for his life, and if you decline +allowing the young lady to act as she wishes, I will not be so +rude as to hint that--as she is of age--she may walk out of this +house with me, whenever she likes, without your having the power +to prevent her; but, I will politely ask instead, what you would +propose to do with her, in the straitened position as to money in +which she and you are likely to be placed? You can't find her +father to give her to; and, if you could, who would be the best +protector for her? The doctor, who is the principal criminal in +the eye of the law, or I, who am only the unwilling accomplice? +He is known to the Bow Street runners--I am not. There is a +reward for the taking of him, and none for the taking of me. He +has no respectable relatives and friends, I have plenty. Every +way my chances are the best; and consequently I am, every way, +the fittest person to trust her to. Don't you see that?" + +Mrs. Baggs did not immediately answer. She snatched the bottle +out of my hands--drank off another dram, shook her head at me, +and ejaculated lamentably: "My nerves, my nerves! what a heart of +stone he must have to presume on my poor nerves!" + +"Give me one minute more," I went on. "I propose to take you and +Alicia to-morrow morning to Scotland. Pray don't groan! I only +suggest the journey with a matrimonial object. In Scotland, Mrs. +Baggs, if a man and woman accept each other as husband and wife, +before one witness, it is a lawful marriage; and that kind of +wedding is, as you see plainly enough, the only safe refuge for a +bridegroom in my situation. If you consent to come with us to +Scotland, and serve as witness to the marriage, I shall be +delighted to acknowledge my sense of your kindness in the +eloquent language of the Bank of England, as expressed to the +world in general on the surface of a five-pound note." + +I cautiously snatched away the brandy bottle as I spoke, and was +in the drawing-room with it in an instant. As I suppose, Mrs. +Baggs tried to follow me, for I heard the door rattle, as if she +had got out of her chair, and suddenly slipped back into it +again. I felt certain of her deciding to help us, if she was only +sober enough to reflect on what I had said to her. The journey to +Scotland was a tedious, and perhaps a dangerous, undertaking. But +I had no other alternative to choose. + +In those uncivilized days, the Marriage Act had not been passed, +and there was no convenient hymeneal registrar in England to +change a vagabond runaway couple into a respectable man and wife +at a moment's notice. The trouble and expense of taking Mrs. +Baggs with us, I encountered, of course, solely out of regard for +Alicia's natural prejudices. She had led precisely that kind of +life which makes any woman but a bad one morbidly sensitive on +the subject of small proprieties. If she had been a girl with a +recognized position in society, I should have proposed to her to +run away with me alone. As it was, the very defenselessness of +her situation gave her, in my opinion, the right to expect from +me even the absurdest sacrifices to the narrowest +conventionalities. Mrs. Baggs was not quite so sober in her +habits, perhaps, as matrons in general are expected to be; but, +for my particular purpose, this was only a slight blemish; it +takes so little, after all, to represent the abstract principle +of propriety in the short-sighted eye of the world. + +As I reached the drawing-room door, I looked at my watch. + +Nine o'clock! and nothing done yet to facilitate our escaping +from Crickgelly to the regions of civilized life the next +morning. I was pleased to hear, when I knocked at the door, that +Alicia's voice sounded firmer as she told me to come in. She was +more confused than astonished or frightened when I sat down by +her on the sofa, and repeated the principal topics of my +conversion with Mrs. Baggs. + +"Now, my own love," I said, in conclusion--suiting my gestures, +it is unnecessary to say, to the tenderness of my +language--"there is not the least doubt that Mrs. Baggs will end +by agreeing to my proposals. Nothing remains, therefore, but for +you to give me the answer now, which I have been waiting for ever +since that last day when we met by the riverside. I did not know +then what the motive was for your silence and distress. I know +now, and I love you better after that knowledge than I did before +it." + +Her head dropped into its former position on my bosom, and she +murmured a few words, but too faintly for me to hear them. + +"You knew more about your father, then, than I did?" I whispered. + +"Less than you have told me since," she interposed quickly, +without raising her face. + +"Enough to convince you that he was breaking the laws," I +suggested; "and, to make you, as his daughter, shrink from saying +'yes' to me when we sat together on the river bank?" + +She did not answer. One of her arms, which was hanging over my +shoulder, stole round my neck, and clasped it gently. + +"Since that time," I went on, "your father has compromised me. I +am in some danger, not much, from the law. I have no prospects +that are not of the most doubtful kind; and I have no excuse for +asking you to share them, except that I have fallen into my +present misfortune through trying to discover the obstacle that +kept us apart. If there is any protection in the world that you +can turn to, less doubtful than mine, I suppose I ought to say no +more, and leave the house. But if there should be none, surely I +am not so very selfish in asking you to take your chance with me? +I honestly believe that I shall have little difficulty, with +ordinary caution, in escaping from pursuit, and finding a safe +home somewhere to begin life in again with new interests. Will +you share it with me, Alicia? I can try no fresh persuasions---I +have no right, perhaps, in my present situation to have addressed +so many to you already." + +Her other arm stole round my neck; she laid her cheek against +mine, and whispered-- + +"Be kind to me, Frank--I have nobody in the world who loves me +but you!" + +I felt her tears on my face; my own eyes moistened as I tried to +answer her. We sat for some minutes in perfect silence--without +moving, without a thought beyond the moment. The rising of the +wind, and the splashing of the rain outside were the first sounds +that stirred me into action again. + +I summoned my resolution, rose from the sofa, and in a few hasty +words told Alicia what I proposed for the next day, and mentioned +the hour at which I would come in the morning. As I had +anticipated, she seemed re lieved and reassured at the prospect +even of such slight sanction and encouragement, on the part of +another woman, as would be implied by the companionship of Mrs. +Baggs on the journey to Scotland. + +The next and last difficulty I had to encounter was necessarily +connected with her father. He had never been very affectionate; +and he was now, for aught she or I knew to the contrary, parted +from her forever. Still, the instinctive recognition of his +position made her shrink, at the last moment, when she spoke of +him, and thought of the serious nature of her engagement with me. +After some vain arguing and remonstrating, I contrived to quiet +her scruples, by promising that an address should be left at +Crickgelly, to which any second letter that might arrive from the +doctor could be forwarded. When I saw that this prospect of being +able to communicate with him, if he wrote or wished to see her, +had sufficiently composed her mind, I left the drawing-room. It +was vitally important that I should get back to the inn and make +the necessary arrangements for our departure the next morning, +before the primitive people of the place had retired to bed. + +As I passed the back parlor door on my way out, I heard the voice +of Mrs. Baggs raised indignantly. The words "bottle!" "audacity!" +and "nerves!" reached my ear disjointedly. I called out "Good-by! +till to-morrow;" heard a responsive groan of disgust; then opened +the front door, and plunged out into the dark and rainy night. + +It might have been the dropping of water from the cottage roofs +while I passed through the village, or the groundless alarm of my +own suspicious fancy, but I thought I was being followed as I +walked back to the inn. Two or three times I turned round +abruptly. If twenty men had been at my heels, it was too dark to +see them. I went on to the inn. + +The people there were not gone to bed; and I sent for the +landlord to consult with him about a conveyance. Perhaps it was +my suspicious fancy again; but I thought his manner was altered. +He seemed half distrustful, half afraid of me, when I asked him +if there had been any signs, during my absence, of those two +gentlemen, for whom I had already inquired on arriving at his +door that evening. He gave an answer in the negative, looking +away from me while he spoke. + +Thinking it advisable, on the whole, not to let him see that I +noticed a change in him, I proceeded at once to the question of +the conveyance, and was told that I could hire the landlord's +light cart, in which he was accustomed to drive to the market +town. I appointed an hour for starting the next day, and retired +at once to my bedroom. There my thoughts were enough. I was +anxious about Screw and the Bow Street runner. I was uncertain +about the stranger who had called at Number Two, Zion Place. I +was in doubt even about the landlord of the inn. Never did I know +what real suffering from suspense was, until that night, Whatever +my apprehensions might have been, they were none of them realized +the next morning. + +Nobody followed me on my way to Zion Place, and no stranger had +called there before me a second time, when I made inquiries on +entering the house. I found Alicia blushing, and Mrs. Baggs +impenetrably wrapped up in dignified sulkiness. After informing +me with a lofty look that she intended to go to Scotland with us, +and to take my five-pound note--partly under protest, and partly +out of excessive affection for Alicia--she retired to pack up. +The time consumed in performing this process, and the further +delay occasioned by paying small outstanding debts to +tradespeople, and settling with the owner of the house, detained +us till nearly noon before we were ready to get into the +landlord's cart. + +I looked behind me anxiously at starting, and often afterward on +the road; but never saw anything to excite my suspicions. In +settling matters with the landlord over night, I had arranged +that we should be driven to the nearest town at which a +post-chaise could be obtained. My resources were just as likely +to hold out against the expenses of posting, where public +conveyances could not be obtained, as against the expense of +waiting privately at hotels, until the right coaches might start. +According to my calculations, my money would last till we got to +Scotland. After that, I had my watch, rings, shirtpin, and Mr. +Batterbury, to help in replenishing my purse. Anxious, therefore, +as I was about other things, money matters, for once in a way, +did not cause me the smallest uneasiness. + +CHAPTER XV. + +WE posted five-and-thirty miles, then stopped for a couple of +hours to rest, and wait for a night coach running northward. + +On getting into this vehicle we were fortunate enough to find the +fourth inside place not occupied. Mrs. Baggs showed her sense of +the freedom from restraint thus obtained by tying a huge red +comforter round her head like a turban, and immediately falling +fast asleep. This gave Alicia and me full liberty to talk as we +pleased. Our conversation was for the most part of that +particular kind which is not of the smallest importance to any +third person in the whole world. One portion of it, however, was +an exception to this general rule. It had a very positive +influence on my fortunes, and it is, therefore, I hope, of +sufficient importance to bear being communicated to the reader. + +We had changed horses for the fourth time, had seated ourselves +comfortably in our places, and had heard Mrs. Baggs resume the +kindred occupations of sleeping and snoring, when Alicia +whispered to me: + +"I must have no secrets, now, from you-- must I, Frank?" + +"You must have anything you like, do anything you like, and say +anything you like. You must never ask leave--but only grant it!" + +"Shall you always tell me that, Frank?" + +I did not answer in words, but the conversation suffered a +momentary interruption. Of what nature, susceptible people will +easily imagine. As for the hard-hearted I don't write for them. + +"My secret need not alarm you," Alicia went on, in tones that +began to sound rather sadly; "it is only about a tiny pasteboard +box that I can carry in the bosom of my dress. But it has got +three diamonds in it, Frank, and one beautiful ruby. Did you ever +give me credit for having so much that was valuable about +me?--shall I give it you to keep for me?" + +I remembered directly Old File's story of Mrs. Dulcifer's +elopement, and of the jewels she had taken with her. It was easy +to guess, after what I had heard, that the poor woman had +secretly preserved some of her little property for the benefit of +her child. + +"I have no present need of money, darling," I answered; "keep the +box in its present enviable position." I stopped there, saying +nothing of the thought that was really uppermost in my mind. If +any unforeseen accident placed me within the grip of the law, I +should not now have the double trial to endure of leaving my wife +for a prison, and leaving her helpless. + +Morning dawned and found us still awake. The sun rose, Mrs. Baggs +left off snoring, and we arrived at the last stage before the +coach stopped. + +I got out to see about some tea for my traveling companions, and +looked up at the outside passengers. One of them seated in the +dickey looked down at me. He was a countryman in a smock-frock, +with a green patch over one of his eyes. Something in the +expression of his uncovered eye made me pause--reflect--turn away +uneasily--and then look again at him furtively. A sudden shudder +ran through me from top to toe; my heart sank; and my head began +to feel giddy. The countryman in the dickey was no other than the +Bow Street runner in disguise. + +I kept away from the coach till the fresh horses were on the +point of starting, for I was afraid to let Alicia see my face, +after making that fatal discovery. She noticed how pale I was +when I got in. I made the best excuse I could; and gently +insisted on her trying to sleep a little after being awake all +night. She lay back in her corner; and Mrs. Baggs, comforted with +a morning dram in her tea, fell asleep again. I had thus an +hour's leisure before me to think what I should do next. + +Screw was not in company with the runner this time. He must have +managed to ident ify me somewhere, and the officer doubtless knew +my personal appearance well enough now to follow and make sure of +me without help. That I was the man whom he was tracking could +not be doubted: his disguise and his position on the top of the +coach proved it only too plainly. + +But why had he not seized me at once? Probably because he had +some ulterior purpose to serve, which would have been thwarted by +my immediate apprehension. What that purpose was I did my best to +fathom, and, as I thought, succeeded in the attempt. What I was +to do when the coach stopped was a more difficult point to +settle. To give the runner the slip, with two women to take care +of, was simply impossible. To treat him, as I had treated Screw +at the red-brick house, was equally out of the question, for he +was certain to give me no chance of catching him alone. To keep +him in ignorance of the real object of my journey, and thereby to +delay his discovering himself and attempting to make me a +prisoner, seemed the only plan on the safety of which I could +place the smallest reliance. If I had ever had any idea of +following the example of other runaway lovers, and going to +Gretna Green, I should now have abandoned it. All roads in that +direction would betray what the purpose of my journey was if I +took them. Some large town in Scotland would be the safest +destination that I could publicly advertise myself as bound for. +Why not boldly say that I was going with the two ladies to +Edinburgh? + +Such was the plan of action which I now adopted. + +To give any idea of the distracted condition of my mind at the +time when I was forming it, is simply impossible. As for doubting +whether I ought to marry at all under these dangerous +circumstances, I must frankly own that I was too selfishly and +violently in love to look the question fairly in the face at +first. When I subsequently forced myself to consider it, the most +distinct project I could frame for overcoming all difficulty was, +to marry myself (the phrase is strictly descriptive of the Scotch +ceremony) at the first inn we came to, over the Border; to hire a +chaise, or take places in a public conveyance to Edinburgh, as a +blind; to let Alicia and Mrs. Baggs occupy those places; to +remain behind myself; and to trust to my audacity and cunning, +when left alone, to give the runner the slip. Writing of it now, +in cool blood, this seems as wild and hopeless a plan as ever was +imagined. But, in the confused and distracted state of all my +faculties at that period, it seemed quite easy to execute, and +not in the least doubtful as to any one of its probable results. + +On reaching the town at which the coach stopped, we found +ourselves obliged to hire another chaise for a short distance, in +order to get to the starting-point of a second coach. Again we +took inside places, and again, at the first stages when I got +down to look at the outside passengers, there was the countryman +with the green shade over his eye. Whatever conveyance we +traveled by on our northward road, we never escaped him. He never +attempted to speak to me, never seemed to notice me, and never +lost sight of me. On and on we went, over roads that seemed +interminable, and still the dreadful sword of justice hung +always, by its single hair, over my head. My haggard face, my +feverish hands, my confused manner, my inexpressible impatience, +all belied the excuses with which I desperately continued to ward +off Alicia's growing fears, and Mrs. Baggs's indignant +suspicions. "Oh! Frank, something has happened! For God's sake, +tell me what!"--"Mr. Softly, I can see through a deal board as +far as most people. You are following the doctor's wicked +example, and showing a want of confidence in me." These were the +remonstrances of Alicia and the housekeeper. + +At last we got out of England, and I was still a free man. The +chaise (we were posting again) brought us into a dirty town, and +drew up at the door of a shabby inn. A shock-headed girl received +us. + +"Are we in Scotland?" I asked. + +"Mon! whar' else should ye be?" The accent relieved me of all +doubt. + +"A private room--something to eat, ready in an hour's +time--chaise afterward to the nearest place from which a coach +runs to Edinburgh." Giving these orders rapidly, I followed the +girl with my traveling companions into a stuffy little room. As +soon as our attendant had left us, I locked the door, put the key +in my pocket, and took Alicia by the hand. + +"Now, Mrs. Baggs," said I, "bear witness--" + +"You're not going to marry her now!" interposed Mrs. Baggs, +indignantly. "Bear witness, indeed! I won't bear witness till +I've taken off my bonnet, and put my hair tidy!" + +"The ceremony won't take a minute," I answered; "and I'll give +you your five-pound note and open the door the moment it's over. +Bear witness," I went on, drowning Mrs. Baggs's expostulations +with the all-important marriage-words, "that I take this woman, +Alicia Dulcifer for my lawful wedded wife." + +"In sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth," broke in Mrs. +Baggs, determining to represent the clergyman as well as to be +the witness. + +"Alicia, dear," I said, interrupting in my turn, "repeat my +words. Say 'I take this man, Francis Softly, for my lawful wedded +husband.' " + +She repeated the sentence, with her face very pale, with her dear +hand cold and trembling in mine. + +"For better for worse," continued the indomitable Mrs. Baggs. +"Little enough of the Better, I'm afraid, and Lord knows how much +of the Worse." + +I stopped her again with the promised five-pound note, and opened +the room door. "Now, ma'am," I said, "go to your room; take off +your bonnet, and put your hair as tidy as you please." + +Mrs. Baggs raised her eyes and hands to heaven, exclaimed +"Disgraceful!" and flounced out of the room in a passion. Such +was my Scotch marriage--as lawful a ceremony, remember, as the +finest family wedding at the largest parish church in all +England. + +An hour passed; and I had not yet summoned the cruel courage to +communicate my real situation to Alicia. The entry of the +shock-headed servant-girl to lay the cloth, followed by Mrs. +Baggs, who was never out of the way where eating and drinking +appeared in prospect, helped me to rouse myself. I resolved to go +out for a few minutes to reconnoiter, and make myself acquainted +with any facilities for flight or hiding which the situation of +the house might present. No doubt the Bow Street runner was +lurking somewhere; but he must, as a matter of course, have +heard, or informed himself, of the orders I had given relating to +our conveyance on to Edinburgh; and, in that case, I was still no +more in danger of his avowing himself and capturing me, than I +had been at any previous period of our journey. + +"I am going out for a moment, love, to see about the chaise," I +said to Alicia. She suddenly looked up at me with an anxious +searching expression. Was my face betraying anything of my real +purpose? I hurried to the door before she could ask me a single +question. + +The front of the inn stood nearly in the middle of the principal +street of the town. No chance of giving any one the slip in that +direction; and no sign, either, of the Bow Street runner. I +sauntered round, with the most unconcerned manner I could assume, +to the back of the house, by the inn yard. A door in one part of +it stood half-open. Inside was a bit of kitchen-garden, bounded +by a paling; beyond that some backs of detached houses; beyond +them, again, a plot of weedy ground, a few wretched cottages, and +the open, heathery moor. Good enough for running away, but +terribly bad for hiding. + +I returned disconsolately to the inn. Walking along the passage +toward the staircase, I suddenly heard footsteps behind +me--turned round, and saw the Bow Street runner (clothed again in +his ordinary costume, and accompanied by two strange men) +standing between me and the door. + +"Sorry to stop you from going to Edinburgh, Mr. Softly," he said. +"But you're wanted back at Barkingham. I've just found out what +you have been traveling all the way to Scotland for; and I take +you prisoner, as one of the coining gang. Take it easy, sir. I've +got help, you see; and you can't throttle three men, whatever you +may have d one at Barkingham with one." + +He handcuffed me as he spoke. Resistance was hopeless. I could +only make an appeal to his mercy, on Alicia's account. + +"Give me ten minutes," I said, "to break what has happened to my +wife. We were only married an hour ago. If she knows this +suddenly, it may be the death of her." + +"You've led me a nice dance on a wrong scent," answered the +runner, sulkily. "But I never was a hard man where women are +concerned. Go upstairs, and leave the door open, so that I can +see in through it if I like. Hold your hat over your wrists, if +you don't want her to see the handcuffs." + +I ascended the first flight of stairs, and my heart gave a sudden +bound as if it would burst. I stopped, speechless and helpless, +at the sight of Alicia, standing alone on the landing. My first +look at her face told me she had heard all that had passed in the +passage. She passionately struck the hat with which I had been +trying to hide the handcuffs out of my fingers, and clasped me in +her arms with such sudden and desperate energy that she +absolutely hurt me. + +"I was afraid of something, Frank," she whispered. "I followed +you a little way. I stopped here; I have heard everything. Don't +let us be parted! I am stronger than you think me. I won't be +frightened. I won't cry. I won't trouble anybody, if that man +will only take me with you!" + +It is best for my sake, if not for the reader's, to hurry over +the scene that followed. + +It ended with as little additional wretchedness as could be +expected. The runner was resolute about keeping me handcuffed, +and taking me back, without a moment's unnecessary waste of time +to Barkingham; but he relented on other points. + +Where he was obliged to order a private conveyance, there was no +objection to Alicia and Mrs. Baggs following it. Where we got +into a coach, there was no harm in their hiring two inside +places. I gave my watch, rings, and last guinea to Alicia, +enjoining her, on no account, to let her box of jewels see the +light until we could get proper advice on the best means of +turning them to account. She listened to these and other +directions with a calmness that astonished me. + +"You shan't say, my dear, that your wife has helped to make you +uneasy by so much as a word or a look," she whispered to me as we +left the inn. + +And she kept the hard promise implied in that one short sentence +throughout the journey. Once only did I see her lose her +self-possession. At starting on our way south, Mrs. Baggs--taking +the same incomprehensible personal offense at my misfortune which +she had previously taken at the doctor's--upbraided me with my +want of confidence in her, and declared that it was the main +cause of all my present trouble. Alicia turned on her as she was +uttering the words, with a look and a warning that silenced her +in an instant: + +"If you say another syllable that isn't kind to him, you shall +find your way back by yourself!" + +The words may not seem of much importance to others; but I +thought, as I overheard them, that they justified every sacrifice +I had made for my wife's sake. + +CHAPTER XVI. + +ON our way back I received from the runner some explanation of +his apparently unaccountable proceedings in reference to myself. + +To begin at the beginning, it turned out that the first act of +the officers, on their release from the workroom in the red-brick +house, was to institute a careful search for papers in the +doctor's study and bedroom. Among the other documents that he had +not had time to destroy, was a letter to him from Alicia, which +they took from one of the pockets of his dressing-gown. Finding, +from the report of the men who had followed the gig, that he had +distanced all pursuit, and having therefore no direct clew to his +whereabout, they had been obliged to hunt after him in various +directions, on pure speculation. Alicia's letter to her father +gave the address of the house at Crickgelly; and to this the +runner repaired, on the chance of intercepting or discovering any +communications which the doctor might make to his daughter, Screw +being taken with the officer to identify the young lady. After +leaving the last coach, they posted to within a mile of +Crickgelly, and then walked into the village, in order to excite +no special attention, should the doctor be lurking in the +neighborhood. The runner had tried ineffectually to gain +admission as a visitor at Zion Place. After having the door shut +on him, he and Screw had watched the house and village, and had +seen me approach Number Two. Their suspicions were directly +excited. + +Thus far, Screw had not recognized, nor even observed me; but he +immediately identified me by my voice, while I was parleying with +the stupid servant at the door. The runner, hearing who I was, +reasonably enough concluded that I must be the recognized medium +of communication between the doctor and his daughter, especially +when he found that I was admitted, instantly after calling, past +the servant, to some one inside the house. + +Leaving Screw on the watch, he went to the inn, discovered +himself privately to the landlord, and made sure (in more ways +than one, as I conjectured) of knowing when, and in what +direction, I should leave Crickgelly. On finding that I was to +leave it the next morning, with Alicia and Mrs. Baggs, he +immediately suspected that I was charged with the duty of taking +the daughter to, or near, the place chosen for the father's +retreat; and had therefore abstained from interfering prematurely +with my movements. Knowing whither we were bound in the cart, he +had ridden after us, well out of sight, with his countryman's +disguise ready for use in the saddle-bags-- Screw, in case of any +mistakes or mystifications, being left behind on the watch at +Crickgelly. + +The possibility that I might be running away with Alicia had +suggested itself to him; but he dismissed it as improbable, first +when he saw that Mrs. Baggs accompanied us, and again, when, on +nearing Scotland, he found that we did not take the road to +Gretna Green. He acknowledged, in conclusion, that he should have +followed us to Edinburgh, or even to the Continent itself, on the +chance of our leading him to the doctor's retreat, but for the +servant girl at the inn, who had listened outside the door while +our brief marriage ceremony was proceeding, and from whom, with +great trouble and delay, he had extracted all the information he +required. A further loss of half an hour's time had occurred +while he was getting the necessary help to assist him, in the +event of my resisting, or trying to give him the slip, in making +me a prisoner. These small facts accounted for the hour's respite +we had enjoyed at the inn, and terminated the runner's narrative +of his own proceedings. + +On arriving at our destination I was, of course, immediately +taken to the jail. + +Alicia, by my advice, engaged a modest lodging in a suburb of +Barkingham. In the days of the red-brick house, she had seldom +been seen in the town, and she was not at all known by sight in +the suburb. We arranged that she was to visit me as often as the +authorities would let her. She had no companion, and wanted none. +Mrs. Baggs, who had never forgiven the rebuke administered to her +at the starting-point of our journey, left us at the close of it. +Her leave-taking was dignified and pathetic. She kindly informed +Alicia that she wished her well, though she could not +conscientiously look upon her as a lawful married woman; and she +begged me (in case I got off), the next time I met with a +respectable person who was kind to me, to profit by remembering +my past errors, and to treat my next benefactress with more +confidence than I had treated her. + +My first business in the prison was to write to Mr. Batterbury. + +I had a magnificent ease to present to him, this time. Although I +believed myself, and had succeeded in persuading Alicia, that I +was sure of being recommended to mercy, it was not the less the +fact that I was charged with an offense still punishable by +death, in the then barbarous state of the law. I delicately +stated just enough of my case to make one thing clear to the mind +of Mr. Batterbury. My affectionate sister's interest in the +contingent reversion was now ( unless Lady Malkinshaw perversely +and suddenly expired) actually threatened by the Gallows! + +While calmly awaiting the answer, I was by no means without +subjects to occupy my attention when Alicia was not at the +prison. There was my fellow-workman--Mill--(the first member of +our society betrayed by Screw) to compare notes with; and there +was a certain prisoner who had been transported, and who had some +very important and interesting particulars to communicate, +relative to life and its chances in our felon-settlements at the +Antipodes. I talked a great deal with this man; for I felt that +his experience might be of the greatest possible benefit to me. + +Mr. Batterbury's answer was speedy, short, and punctual. I had +shattered his nervous system forever, he wrote, but had only +stimulated his devotion to my family, and his Christian readiness +to look pityingly on my transgressions. He had engaged the leader +of the circuit to defend me; and he would have come to see me, +but for Mrs. Batterbury; who had implored him not to expose +himself to agitation. Of Lady Malkinshaw the letter said nothing; +but I afterward discovered that she was then at Cheltenham, +drinking the waters and playing whist in the rudest health and +spirits. + +It is a bold thing to say, but nothing will ever persuade me that +Society has not a sneaking kindness for a Rogue. + +For example, my father never had half the attention shown to him +in his own house, which was shown to me in my prison. I have seen +High Sheriffs in the great world, whom my father went to see, +give him two fingers--the High Sheriff of Barkinghamshire came to +see me, and shook hands cordially. Nobody ever wanted my father's +autograph--dozens of people asked for mine. Nobody ever put my +father's portrait in the frontispiece of a magazine, or described +his personal appearance and manners with anxious elaboration, in +the large type of a great newspaper--I enjoyed both those honors. +Three official individuals politely begged me to be sure and make +complaints if my position was not perfectly comfortable. No +official individual ever troubled his head whether my father was +comfortable or not. When the day of my trial came, the court was +thronged by my lovely countrywomen, who stood up panting in the +crowd and crushing their beautiful dresses, rather than miss the +pleasure of seeing the dear Rogue in the dock. When my father +once stood on the lecturer's rostrum, and delivered his excellent +discourse, called "Medical Hints to Maids and Mothers on Tight +Lacing and Teething," the benches were left empty by the +ungrateful women of England, who were not in the slightest degree +anxious to feast their eyes on the sight of a learned adviser and +respectable man. If these facts led to one inevitable conclusion, +it is not my fault. We Rogues are the spoiled children of +Society. We may not be openly acknowledged as Pets, but we all +know, by pleasant experience, that we are treated like them. + +The trial was deeply affecting. My defense --or rather my +barrister's--was the simple truth. It was impossible to overthrow +the facts against us; so we honestly owned that I got into the +scrape through love for Alicia. My counsel turned this to the +best possible sentimental account. He cried; the ladies cried; +the jury cried; the judge cried; and Mr. Batterbury, who had +desperately come to see the trial, and know the worst, sobbed +with such prominent vehemence, that I believe him, to this day, +to have greatly influenced the verdict. I was strongly +recommended to mercy and got off with fourteen years' +transportation. The unfortunate Mill, who was tried after me, +with a mere dry-eyed barrister to defend him, was hanged. + +POSTSCRIPT. + +WITH the record of my sentence of transportation, my life as a +Rogue ends, and my existence as a respectable man begins. I am +sorry to say anything which may disturb popular delusions on the +subject of poetical justice, but this is strictly the truth. + +My first anxiety was about my wife's future. + +Mr. Batterbury gave me no chance of asking his advice after the +trial. The moment sentence had been pronounced, he allowed +himself to be helped out of court in a melancholy state of +prostration, and the next morning he left for London. I suspect +he was afraid to face me, and nervously impatient, besides, to +tell Annabella that he had saved the legacy again by another +alarming sacrifice. My father and mother, to whom I had written +on the subject of Alicia, were no more to be depended on than Mr. +Batterbury. My father, in answering my letter, told me that he +conscientiously believed he had done enough in forgiving me for +throwing away an excellent education, and disgracing a +respectable name. He added that he had not allowed my letter for +my mother to reach her, out of pitying regard for her broken +health and spirits; and he ended by telling me (what was perhaps +very true) that the wife of such a son as I had been, had no +claim upon her father-in-law's protection and help. There was an +end, then, of any hope of finding resources for Alicia among the +members of my own family. + +The next thing was to discover a means of providing for her +without assistance. I had formed a project for this, after +meditating over my conversations with the returned transport in +Barkingham jail, and I had taken a reliable opinion on the +chances of successfully executing my design from the solicitor +who had prepared my defense. + +Alicia herself was so earnestly in favor of assisting in my +experiment, that she declared she would prefer death to its +abandonment. Accordingly, the necessary preliminaries were +arranged; and, when we parted, it was some mitigation of our +grief to know that there was a time appointed for meeting again. +Alicia was to lodge with a distant relative of her mother's in a +suburb of London; was to concert measures with this relative on +the best method of turning her jewels into money; and was to +follow her convict husband to the Antipodes, under a feigned +name, in six months' time. + +If my family had not abandoned me, I need not have thus left her +to help herself. As it was, I had no choice. One consolation +supported me at parting--she was in no danger of persecution from +her father. A second letter from him had arrived at Crickgelly, +and had been forwarded to the address I had left for it. It was +dated Hamburg, and briefly told her to remain at Crickgelly, and +expect fresh instructions, explanations, and a supply of money, +as soon as he had settled the important business matters which +had taken him abroad. His daughter answered the letter, telling +him of her marriage, and giving him an address at a post-office +to write to, if he chose to reply to her communication. There the +matter rested. + +What was I to do on my side? Nothing but establish a reputation +for mild behavior. I began to manufacture a character for myself +for the first days of our voyage out in the convict-ship; and I +landed at the penal settlement with the reputation of being the +meekest and most biddable of felonious mankind. + +After a short probationary experience of such low convict +employments as lime-burning and road-mending, I was advanced to +occupations more in harmony with my education. Whatever I did, I +never neglected the first great obligation of making myself +agreeable and amusing to everybody. My social reputation as a +good fellow began to stand as high at one end of the world as +ever it stood at the other. The months passed more quickly than I +had dared to hope. The expiration of my first year of +transportation was approaching, and already pleasant hints of my +being soon assigned to private service began to reach my ears. +This was the first of the many ends I was now working for; and +the next pleasant realization of my hopes that I had to expect, +was the arrival of Alicia. + +She came, a month later than I had anticipated; safe and +blooming, with five hundred pounds as the produce of her jewels, +and with the old Crickgelly alias (changed from Miss to Mrs. +Giles), to prevent any suspicions of the connection between us. + +Her story (concocted by me before I left England) was, that she +was a widow lady, who had come to settle in Australia, and make +the most of + her little property in the New World. One of the first things +Mrs. Giles wanted was necessarily a trustworthy servant, and she +had to make her choice of one among the convicts of good +character, to be assigned to private service. Being one of that +honorable body myself at the time, it is needless to say that I +was the fortunate man on whom Mrs. Giles's choice fell. The first +situation I got in Australia was as servant to my own wife. + +Alicia made a very indulgent mistress. + +If she had been mischievously inclined, she might, by application +to a magistrate, have had me flogged or set to work in chains on +the roads, whenever I became idle or insubordinate, which +happened occasionally. But instead of complaining, the kind +creature kissed and made much of her footman by stealth, after +his day's work. She allowed him no female followers, and only +employed one woman-servant occasionally, who was both old and +ugly. The name of the footman was Dear in private, and Francis in +company; and when the widowed mistress, upstairs, refused +eligible offers of marriage (which was pretty often), the favored +domestic in the kitchen was always informed of it, and asked, +with the sweetest humility, if he approved of the proceeding. + +Not to dwell on this anomalous period of my existence, let me say +briefly that my new position with my wife was of the greatest +advantage in enabling me to direct in secret the profitable uses +to which her little fortune was put. + +We began in this way with an excellent speculation in +cattle--buying them for shillings and selling them for pounds. +With the profits thus obtained, we next tried our hands at +houses--first buying in a small way, then boldly building, and +letting again and selling to great advantage. While these +speculations were in progress, my behavior in my wife's service +was so exemplary, and she gave me so excellent a character when +the usual official inquiries were instituted, that I soon got the +next privilege accorded to persons in my situation--a +ticket-of-leave. By the time this had been again exchanged for a +conditional pardon (which allowed me to go about where I pleased +in Australia, and to trade in my own name like any unconvicted +merchant) our house-property had increased enormously, our land +had been sold for public buildings, and we had shares in the +famous Emancipist's Bank, which produced quite a little income of +themselves. + +There was now no need to keep the mask on any longer. + +I went through the superfluous ceremony of a second marriage with +Alicia; took stores in the city; built a villa in the country; +and here I am at this present moment of writing, a convict +aristocrat--a prosperous, wealthy, highly respectable mercantile +man, with two years of my sentence of transportation still to +expire. I have a barouche and two bay horses, a coachman and page +in neat liveries, three charming children, and a French +governess, a boudoir and lady's-maid for my wife. She is as +handsome as ever, but getting a little fat. So am I, as a worthy +friend remarked when I recently appeared holding the plate, at +our last charity sermon. + +What would my surviving relatives and associates in England say, +if they could see me now? I have heard of them at different times +and through various channels. Lady Malkinshaw, after living to +the verge of a hundred, and surviving all sorts of accidents, +died quietly one afternoon, in her chair, with an empty dish +before her, and without giving the slightest notice to anybody. +Mr. Batterbury, having sacrificed so much to his wife's +reversion, profited nothing by its falling in at last. His +quarrels with my amiable sister--which took their rise from his +interested charities toward me--ended in producing a separation. +And, far from saving anything by Annabella's inheritance of her +pin-money, he had a positive loss to put up with, in the shape of +some hundreds extracted yearly from his income, as alimony to his +uncongenial wife. He is said to make use of shocking language +whenever my name is mentioned, and to wish that he had been +carried off by the yellow fever before he ever set eyes on the +Softly family. + +My father has retired from practice. He and my mother have gone +to live in the country, near the mansion of the only marquis with +whom my father was actually and personally acquainted in his +professional days. The marquis asks him to dinner once a year, +and leaves a card for my mother before he returns to town for the +season. A portrait of Lady Malkinshaw hangs in the dining-room. +In this way, my parents are ending their days contentedly. I can +honestly say that I am glad to hear it. + +Doctor Dulcifer, when I last heard of him, was editing a +newspaper in America. Old File, who shared his flight, still +shares his fortunes, being publisher of his newspaper. Young File +resumed coining operations in London; and, having braved his fate +a second time, threaded his way, in due course, up to the steps +of the scaffold. Screw carries on the profitable trade of +informer, in London. The dismal disappearance of Mill I have +already recorded. + +So much on the subject of my relatives and associates. On the +subject of myself, I might still write on at considerable length. +But while the libelous title of "A ROGUE'S LIFE" stares me in the +face at the top of the page, how can I, as a rich and reputable +man, be expected to communicate any further autobiographical +particulars, in this place, to a discerning public of readers? +No, no, my friends! I am no longer interesting--I am only +respectable like yourselves. It is time to say "Good-by." + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Man and Wife, by Wilkie Collins + diff --git a/old/rgslf10.zip b/old/rgslf10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d9a323 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/rgslf10.zip |