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diff --git a/15455.txt b/15455.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2d61102 --- /dev/null +++ b/15455.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7075 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Life's Progress Through The Passions +by Eliza Fowler Haywood + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Life's Progress Through The Passions + Or, The Adventures of Natura + +Author: Eliza Fowler Haywood + +Release Date: March 24, 2005 [EBook #15455] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE'S PROGRESS THROUGH THE *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Richard Cohen and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net). + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: + ++ Original spellings and inconsistent hyphenation have been kept, + except that ... + ++ Obvious corrections have been made silently. The original text + can be found in the HTML or the XML version. + ++ Educated guesses have been made for unclear text. The original + text can be found in the HTML or the XML version. + ++ Hyphens caused by a line break have been removed. + ++ Italics were used widely in the original, and have been retained + in the HTML file. In this text file, they have only been kept when + used for _emphasis_, or for 'direct speech'. +] + + +April 2, 1748. + +The late great Demand for the FORTUNATE FOUNDLINGS, occasioning it to +be out of Print sooner than was expected; this is to advertise the +Public, that a new Edition of that Book is now in the Press, and will +be published the Beginning of next Month. + + * * * * * + +LIFE's +PROGRESS +THROUGH THE +PASSIONS: + +OR, THE +ADVENTURES +OF +NATURA. + + +By the Author of +The FORTUNATE FOUNDLINGS. + +[Illustration: Portrait of the printer] + +LONDON: +Printed by T. Gardner, and Sold at his Printing-Office, at Cowley's +Head, opposite St. Clement's Church, in the Strand. +M,DCC,XLVIII. + + * * * * * + +Just Published by T. Gardner, + +In Four Beautiful Pocket Volumes, +(Price Twelve Shillings bound.) +Correctly printed from the Octavo Edition, +(With New Engraved Frontispieces,) + +The FEMALE SPECTATOR, +COMPLEAT. + + 'The great Encomiums bestowed on this Work by some of the most + distinguished Judges, have been so frequently inserted in all the + public Papers, that it is presumed no one can be unacquainted with + them, and therefore are thought needless here to be + particularized: But that so useful a Work may be more universally + read, (especially by the younger and politer Sort of Ladies, for + whom it is more peculiarly adapted,) it is now printed in the + above-mentioned Size, which will be less cumbersome to them, and + the Expence being reduced to one half of what the Octavo Edition + sells at, it may be more easily purchased The great Encomiums + bestowed on this Work by some of the most distinguished Judges, + have been so frequently inserted in all the public Papers, that it + is presumed no one can be unacquainted with them, and therefore + are thought needless here to be particularized: But that so useful + a Work may be more universally read, (especially by the younger + and politer Sort of Ladies, for whom it is more peculiarly + adapted,) it is now printed in the above-mentioned Size, which + will be less cumbersome to them, and the Expence being reduced to + one half of what the Octavo Edition sells at, it may be more + easily purchased' + +The above Work is printed in a larger Letter, in Octavo, Price 1l. 4s. +bound. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + +INTRODUCTION, Page 1. + + +BOOK the First. + + +CHAP. I. + +Shews, in the example of Natura, how from our very birth, the +passions, to which the human soul is incident, are discoverable in us; +and how far the organs of sense, or what is called the constitution, +has an effect over us, Page 4. + + +CHAP. II. + +Contains some proofs by what swift degrees the passions gain an +ascendant over the mind, and grow up in proportion with our reason, +Page 7. + + +CHAP. III. + +The early influence which the difference of sex excites, is here +exemplified, in the fond, but innocent affection of Natura and Delia, +Page 21. + + +CHAP. IV. + +Shews, that till we arrive at a certain age, the impressions made on +us are easily erased; and also that when those which bear the name of +love are once rooted in the mind, there are no lengths to which we may +not be transported by that passion, if great care is not taken to +prevent its getting the ascendant over reason, Page 27. + + +CHAP. V. + +That to indulge any one fault, brings with it the temptation of +committing others, is demonstrated by the behaviour of Natura, and the +misfortunes and disgrace, which an ill-judged shame had like to have +involved him in, Page 39. + + +CHAP. VI. + +Shews the great force of natural affection, and the good effects it +has over a grateful mind, Page 51. + + +BOOK the Second. + + +CHAP. I. + +The inconsideration and instability of youth, when unrestrained by +authority, is here exemplified, in an odd adventure Natura embarked in +with two nuns, after the death of his governor, Page 63. + + +CHAP. II. + +The pleasures of travelling described, and the improvement a sensible +mind may receive from it: with some hints to the censorious, not to be +too severe on errors, the circumstances of which they are ignorant of, +occasioned by a remarkable instance of an involuntary slip of nature, +Page 99. + + +CHAP. III. + +The uncertainty of human events displayed in many surprizing turns of +fortune, which befel Natura, on his endeavouring to settle himself in +the world: with some proofs of the necessity of fortitude, as it may +happen that actions, excited by the greatest virtue, may prove the +source of evil, both to ourselves and others, Page 108. + + +CHAP. IV. + +The power of fear over a mind, weak either by nature, or infirmities +of body: The danger of its leading to despair, is shewn by the +condition Natura was reduced to by the importunities of priests of +different perswasions. This chapter also demonstrates, the little +power people have of judging what is really best for them, and that +what has the appearance of the severest disappointment, is frequently +the greatest good, Page 135. + + +CHAP. V. + +Shews that there is no one human advantage to which all others should +be sacrificed:--the force of ambition, and the folly of suffering it +to gain too great an ascendant over us:--public grandeur little +capable of atoning for private discontent; among which jealousy, +whether of love or honour, is the most tormenting, Page 154. + + +BOOK the Third. + + +CHAP. I. + +Shews in what manner anger and revenge operate in the mind, and how +ambition is capable of stifling both, in a remarkable instance, that +_private injuries_, how great soever, may seem of no weight, when +_public grandeur_ requires they should be looked over, Page 168. + + +CHAP. II. + +Shews at what age men are most liable to the passion of grief: the +impatience of human nature under affliction, and the necessity there +is of exerting reason, to restrain the excesses it would otherwise +occasion, Page 178. + + +CHAP. III. + +The struggles which different passions occasion in the human breast, +are here exemplified; and that there is no one among them so strong, +but may be extirpated by another, excepting _revenge_, which knows no +period, but by gratification, Page 185. + + +CHAP. IV. + +Contains a further definition of _revenge_, its force, effects, and +the chasm it leaves on the mind when once it ceases. The tranquility +of being entirely devoid of all passions; and the impossibility for +the soul to remain in that state of inactivity is also shewn; with +some remarks on human nature in general, when left to itself, Page +190. + + +CHAP. V. + +Contains a remarkable proof, that tho' the passions may operate with +greater velocity and vehemence in youth, yet they are infinitely more +strong and permanent, when the person is arrived at maturity, and are +then scarce ever eradicated. Love and friendship are then, and not +till then, truly worthy of the names they bear; and that the _one_ +between those of different sexes, is always the consequence of the +_other_, Page 206. + + +CHAP. VI. + +How the most powerful emotions of the _mind_ subside, and grow weaker +in proportion as the strength of the _body_ decays, is here +exemplified; and that such passions as remain after a certain age, are +not properly the incentives of nature but of example, long habitude, +or ill humour, Page 224. + + + + +LIFE's +PROGRESS +THROUGH THE +PASSIONS. + + +INTRODUCTION. + +I have often heard it observed by the readers of biography, that the +characters are generally too high painted; and that the _good_ or +_bad_ qualities of the person pretended to be faithfully represented, +are displayed in stronger colours than are to be found in nature. To +this the lovers of hyperbole reply, that _virtue_ cannot be drawn too +beautiful, nor _vice_ too deformed, in order to excite in us an +ambition of imitating the _one_, and a horror at the thoughts of +becoming any way like the _other_.--The argument at first, indeed, +seems to have some weight, as there is nothing, not even precept +itself, which so greatly contributes whether to rectify or improve the +mind, as the prevalence of example: but then it ought to be +considered, that if the pattern laid down before us, is so altogether +angelic, as to render it impossible to be copied, emulation will be in +danger of being swallowed up in an unprofitable admiration; and, on +the other hand, if it appears so monstrously hideous as to take away +all apprehensions of ever resembling it, we might be too apt to +indulge ourselves in errors which would seem small in comparison with +those presented to us.--There never yet was any one man, in whom all +the _virtues_, or all the _vices_, were summed up; for, though reason +and education may go a great way toward curbing the passions, yet I +believe experience will inform, even the _best_ of men, that they will +sometimes launch out beyond their due bounds, in spite of all the care +can be taken to restrain them; nor do I think the very _worst_, and +most wicked, does not feel in himself, at some moments, a propensity +to good, though it may be possible he never brings it into practice; +at least, this was the opinion of the antients, as witness the poet's +words: + + All men are born with seeds of _good_ and _ill_; + And each shoot forth, in more or less degree: + _One_ you may cultivate with care and skill, + But from the _other_ ne'er be wholly free. + +The human mind may, I think, be compared to a chequer-work, where +light and shade appear by turns; and in proportion as either of these +is most conspicuous, the man is alone worthy of praise or censure; for +none there are can boast of being wholly bright. + +I believe by this the reader will be convinced he must not expect to +see a faultless figure in the hero of the following pages; but to +remove all possibility of a disappointment on that score, I shall +farther declare, that I am an enemy to all _romances_, _novels_, and +whatever carries the air of them, tho' disguised under different +appellations; and as it is a _real_, not _fictitious_ character I am +about to present, I think myself obliged, for the reasons I have +already given, as well as to gratify my own inclinations, to draw him +such as he was, not such as some sanguine imaginations might with him +to have been. + +I flatter myself, however, that _truth_ will appear not altogether +void of charms, and the adventures I take upon me to relate, not be +less pleasing for being within the reach of probability, and such as +might have happened to any other as well as the person they did.--Few +there are, I am pretty certain, who will not find some resemblance of +himself in one part or other of his life, among the many various and +surprizing turns of fortune, which the subject of this little history +experienced, as also be reminded in what manner the passions operate +in every stage of life, and how far the constitution of the _outward +frame_ is concerned in the emotions of the _internal faculties_. + +These are things surely very necessary to be considered, and when they +are so, will, in a great measure, abate that unbecoming vehemence, +with which people are apt to testify their admiration, or abhorrence +of actions, which it very often happens would lose much of their +_eclat_ either way, were the secret springs that give them motion, +seen into with the eyes of philosophy and reflection. + +But this will be more clearly understood by a perusal of the facts +herein contained, from which I will no longer detain in the attention +of my reader. + + + + + + +BOOK the First. + + + + +CHAP. I. + + Shews, in the example of Natura, how from our very birth, the + passions, to which the human soul is incident, are discoverable in + us; and how far the organs of sense, or what is called the + constitution, has an effect over us. + + +The origin of Natura would perhaps require more time to trace than the +benefit of the discovery would attone for: it shall therefore suffice +to say, that his ancestors were neither of the highest rank:--that if +no extraordinary action had signalized the names of any of them, so +none of them had been guilty of crimes to entail infamy on their +posterity: and that a moderate estate in the family had descended from +father to son for many generations, without being either remarkably +improved or embezzled.--His immediate parents were in very easy +circumstances, and he being their first son, was welcomed into the +world with a joy usual on such occasions.--I never heard that any +prodigies preceded or accompanied his nativity; or that the planets, +or his mother's cravings during her pregnancy, had sealed him with any +particular mark or badge of distinction: but have been well assured he +was a fine boy, sucked heartily of his mother's milk, and what they +call a thriving child. His weaning, I am told, was attended by some +little ailments, occasioned by his pining after the food to which he +had been accustomed; but proper means being found to make him lose the +memory of the breast, he soon recovered his flesh, increased in +strength, and could go about the room at a year and some few months +old, without the help of a leading-string. + +Hitherto the passions, those powerful abettors, I had almost said sole +authors of all human actions, operated but faintly, and could shew +themselves only in proportion to the vigour of the animal frame. Yet +latent as they are, an observing eye may easily discover them in each +of their different propensities, even from the most early infancy. The +eyes of Natura on any new and pleasing object, would denote by their +sparkling a sensation of joy:--_Fear_ was visible in him by clinging to +his nurse, and endeavouring to bury himself as it were in her bosom, at +the sound of menaces he was not capable of understanding:--That +_sorrow_ has a place among the first emotions of the soul, was +demonstrable by the sighs which frequently would heave his little +heart, long before it was possible for him either to know or to imagine +any motives for them:--That the seeds of _avarice_ are born with us, by +the eagerness with which he catched at money when presented to him, +his clinching it fast in his hand, and the reluctance he expressed on +being deprived of it:--That _anger_, and impatience of controul, are +inherent to our nature, might be seen in his throwing down with +vehemence any favourite toy, rather than yield to resign it; and that +spite and revenge are also but too much so, by his putting in practice +all such tricks as his young invention could furnish, to vex any of the +family who had happened to cross him:--Even those tender inclinations, +which afterwards bear the name of _amorous_, begin to peep out long +before the difference of sex is thought on; as Natura proved by the +preference he gave the girls over the boys who came to play with him, +and his readiness to part with any thing to them. + +In a word, there is not one of all the various emotions which agitate +the breast in maturity, that may not be discerned almost from the +birth, _hope_, _jealousy_, and _despair_ excepted, which, tho' they +bear the name in common with those other more natural dispositions of +the mind, I look upon rather as consequentials of the passions, and +arising from them, than properly passions themselves: but however that +be, it is certain, that they are altogether dependant on a fixation of +ideas, reflection, and comparison, and therefore can have no entrance +in the soul, or at least cannot be awakened in it, till some degree of +knowledge is attained. + +Thus do the dispositions of the _infant_ indicate the future _man_; +and though we see, in the behaviour of persons when grown up, so vast +a difference, yet as all children at first act alike, I think it may +be reasonably supposed, that were it not for some change in the +constitution, an equal similitude of will, desires, and sentiments, +would continue among us through maturity and old age; at least I am +perfectly perswaded it would do so, among all those who are born in +the same climate, and educated in the same principles: for whatever +may be said of a great genius, and natural endowments, there is +certainly no real distinction between the _soul_ of the man of _wit_ +and the _ideot_; and that disproportion, which we are apt to behold +with so much wonder, is only in fact occasioned by some or other of +those innumerable and hidden accidents, which from our first coming +into the world, in a more or less degree, have, an effect upon the +organs of sense; and they being the sole canals through which the +spirit shews itself, according as they happen to be extended, +contracted, or obstructed, the man must infallibly appear. + + + + +CHAP. II. + + Contains some proofs by what swift degrees the passions gain an + ascendant over the mind, and grow up in proportion with our reason. + + +Natura had no sooner quitted the nursery, than he was put under the +direction of the school, to which at first he was every day conducted +either by a man or maid-servant; but when thought big enough to be +trusted alone, would frequently play the truant, for which he +generally received the discipline necessary on such occasions.--He +took his learning notwithstanding as well as could be expected;--he +had read the testament through at five years old, about seven was put +into Latin, and began the rudiments of Greek before he had attained +the age of nine. + +As his understanding increased, the passions became stronger in +proportion: and here is to be observed the wonderful wisdom of nature, +or rather of the Great Author of nature, in the formation of the human +system, that the passions given to us, especially those of the worst +sort, are, for the most part, such opposites, that the one is a +sufficient check upon the other.--The _pride_ of treating those +beneath us with contempt, is restrained by the _fear_ of meeting the +same usage from those above us.--A _sordid covetousness_ is controlled +by _ostentation_.--_Sloth_ is roused by _ambition_, and so of the +rest.--I have been told that when Natura, by the enticements of his +companions, and his own eagerness to pursue the sports suitable to his +years, had been drawn in to neglect his studies, he had often ran home +on a sudden, and denied himself both food and sleep, till he had not +only finished the task assigned him by his school-master, but also +exceeded what was expected from him, instigated by the ambition of +praise, and hope of being removed to a higher form.--But at other +times again his love of play has rendered him totally forgetful of +every thing besides, and all emulation in him absorbed in +pleasure.--Thus hurried, as the different propensities prevailed, from +one extreme to the other;--never in a medium, but always doing either +more or less than was required of him. + +In like manner was his _avarice_ moderated by his _pity_;--an instance +of which was this;--One morning having won at chuck-farthing, or some +such game, all the money a poor boy was master of, and which he said +had been given him to buy his breakfast, Natura was so much melted at +his tears and complaints, that he generously returned to him the whole +of what he had lost.--Greatly is it to be wished, the same sentiments +of compassion would influence some of riper years, and make them scorn +to take the advantage chance sometimes affords of ruining their +fellow-creatures; but the misfortune is, that when we arrive at the +state of perfect manhood, the _worst_ passions are apt to get the +better of the more _noble_, as the prospect they present is more +alluring to the eye of sense: all men (as I said before) being born +with the same propensities, it is _virtue_ alone, or in other words, a +strict _morality_, which prevents them from actuating alike in +all.--But to return to the young Natura. + +He was scarce ten years old when his mother died; but was not sensible +of the misfortune he sustained by the loss of her, though, as it +afterwards proved, was the greatest could have happened to him: the +remembrance of the tenderness with which she had used him, joined to +the sight of all the family in tears, made him at first indeed utter +some bitter lamentations; but the thoughts of a new suit of mourning, +a dress he had never yet been in, soon dissipated his grief, and the +sight of himself before the great glass, in a habit so altogether +strange, and therefore pleasing to him, took off all anguish for the +sad occasion.--So early do we begin to be sensible of a satisfaction +in any thing that we imagine is an advantage to our persons, or will +make us be taken notice of.--How it grows up with us, and how +difficult it is to be eradicated, I appeal even to those of the most +sour and cynical disposition. + +Mr. Dryden admirably describes this propensity in human nature in +these lines: + + Men are but children of a larger growth, + Our appetites as prone to change as theirs, + And full as craving too, and full as vain. + +A fondness for trifles is certainly no less conspicuous in age than +youth; and we daily see it among persons of the best understanding, +who wholly neglect every essential to real happiness in the pursuit of +those very toys which children cry to be indulged in; even such as a +bit of ribband, or the sound of a monosyllable tacked to the name; +without considering that those badges of distinction, like bells about +an ideot's neck, frequently serve only to render their folly more +remarkable, and expose them to the contempt of the lookers on, who +perhaps too, as nature is the same in all, want but the same +opportunity to catch no less eagerly at the tawdry gewgaw. + +Natura felt not the loss of his dear mother, till he beheld another in +her place. His father entered into a second marriage before much more +than half his year of widowhood was expired, with a lady, who, though +pretty near his equal in years, had yet remains enough of beauty to +render her extremely vain and affected, and fortune enough to make her +no less proud.--These two qualities occasioned Natura many rebuffs, to +which he had not been acoustomed, and he felt them the more severely, +as the name of mother had made him expect the same proofs of +tenderness from this, who had the title, as he had remembered to have +received from her who had been really so. + +He endeavoured at first to insinuate himself into her favour by all +those little flattering artifices which are so becoming in persons of +his tender years, and which never fail to make an impression on a +gentle and affable disposition; but finding his services not only +rejected, but also rejected with scorn and moroseness, his spirit was +too great to continue them for any long time; and all the assiduity he +had shewn to gain her good-will, was on a sudden converted into a +behaviour altogether the reverse: he was sure to turn the deaf ear to +all the commands she laid upon him, and so far from doing any thing to +please her, he seemed to take a delight in vexing her. This +occasioning many complaints to his father, drew on him very severe +chastisements both at home and abroad; but though while the smart +remained, he made many promises of amendment in this point, the hatred +he had now conceived against her, would not suffer him to keep them. + +His sister, who was five years older than himself, and a girl of great +prudence, took a good deal of pains to convince him how much it was +both his interest and his duty to pay all manner of respect to a lady +whom their father had thought fit to set over them; but all she could +say on that head was thrown away, and he still replied, that since he +could not make her love him, he should always hate her. + +This young lady had perhaps no less reason than her brother to be +dissatisfied with the humour of their stepmother; and it was only the +tender affection she had for him which made her feign a contentment at +the treatment both of them received, in order to keep him within any +manner of bounds. + +It may be reckoned among the misfortunes of Natura, that he so soon +lost the benefit of these kind remonstrances: his fair adviser having +a considerable fortune, independent on her father, left her by a +grandmother, who had also answered for her at the _font_, was courted +by a gentleman, to whom neither herself nor family having any thing to +object, she became a bride in a very few months, and went with her +husband to a seat he had at a considerable distance in the country. + +This poor youth was now without any one, either to prevent him from +doing a fault, or to conceal it when committed; on the contrary, his +mother-in-law, having new-modelled all the family, and retained only +such servants as thought it their duty to study nothing but to humour +her, every little error in him was exaggerated, and he was represented +to his father as incorrigible, perverse, and all that is disagreeable +in nature. + +I will not take upon me to determine whether, or not, the old +gentleman had altogether so ill an opinion of his son, as they +endeavoured to inspire him with; but it is certain, that whatever his +thoughts were on the matter, he found himself obliged for a quiet life +to use him with a good deal of severity, which, either because he +believed it unjust, or that it was disagreeable to his own +disposition, he grew very weary of in a short time, and to put an end +to it, resolved to send the child to a boarding-school, tho' he had +always declared against that sort of education, and frequently said, +that though these great schools might improve the learning, they were +apt to corrupt the morals of youth. + +Finding himself, however, under a kind of necessity for so doing, +nothing remained but the choice of a convenient place. The wife +proposed some part of Yorkshire, not only as the cheapest, but also +that by reason of the distance, she should not have the trouble of him +at home in the holidays; but to this it was not in her power to +prevail on his father to consent, and after many disputes between them +on it, Eton was at length pitched upon. + +Natura heard of his intended removal with a perfect indifference:--if +the thoughts of parting from his father gave him any pain, it was +balanced by those of being eased of the persecuting of his stepmother; +but when all things were prepared for his journey, in which he was to +be accompanied by an old relation, who was to give the necessary +charge with him to those into whose care he should be committed, he +was taken suddenly ill on the very day he had been to take leave of +his kindred, and other friends in town. + +His distemper proved to be the small-pox, but being of a very +favourable sort, he recovered in a short time, and lost nothing of his +handsomeness by that so-much-dreaded enemy to the face: there +remained, however, a little redness, which, till intirely worn off, it +was judged improper he should be sent where it was likely there might +be many young gentlemen, who having never experienced the same, would +take umbrage at the sight. + +During the time of his indisposition he had been attended by an old +nurse, who had served in the same quality to his mother, and several +others of her family.--The tenderness this good creature shewed to +him, and the care she took to humour him in every thing, not only +while he continued in a condition, in which it might have been +dangerous to have put his spirits into the least agitation, but after +he was grown well enough to walk abroad, had made him become extremely +pettish and self-willed; which shews, that an over-indulgence to +youth, is no less prejudicial, than too much austerity.--Happy is it +for those who are brought up in a due proportion between these two +extremes; for as nature will be apt to fall into a dejection, if +pressed down with a constant, and uninterrupted severity, so it will +infallibly become arrogant and assuming, if suffered always to pursue +its own dictates.--Nothing is more evident, than that most of the +irregularities we see practised in the world, are owing originally to +a want of the medium I have been speaking of, in forming the mind +while it is pliable to impression. + +This was not, however, the case of Natura; and though he would +doubtless have been what we call a spoiled child, had he been for any +length of time permitted to do just what he pleased, yet the nurse +being discharged, he fell again under the jurisdiction of his +mother-in-law, who had now more excuse than ever for treating him with +severity. + +His father did not want understanding, but was a good deal more +indolent than befits a parent.--He had always been accustomed to live +at ease, and his natural aversion to all kinds of trouble, made him +not inspect into the manners or temperament of his son, with that care +he ought to have done. Whenever any complaints were made concerning +his behaviour, he would chide, and sometimes beat him, but seldom +examined how far he really merited those effects rather of others +resentment than his own. Sometimes he would ask him questions on his +progress in learning, and praise or dispraise, as he found occasion; +but he never discoursed with him on any other topics, nor took any +pleasure in instructing him in such things as are not to be taught in +schools, but which much more contribute to enlarge the mind; so that +had not Natura's own curiosity led him to examine into the sources, +first causes, and motives of what he was obliged to read, he would +have reaped no other benefit from his Greek and Latin authors, than +meerly the knowledge of their language. + +Here I cannot help taking notice, that whatever inconveniences it may +occasion, curiosity is one of the greatest advantages we receive from +nature; it is that indeed from which all our knowledge is +derived.--Were it not for this propensity in ourselves, the sun, the +moon, and all the darling constellations which adorn the hemisphere, +would roll above our heads in vain: contented to behold their shine, +and feel their warmth, but ignorant of their motion and influence on +all beneath, half that admiration due to the Divine Architect, would +lye dormant in us.--Did not curiosity excite us to examine into the +nature of vegetables, their amazing rise, their progress, their deaths +and resurrections in the seasons allotted for these alternatives, we +should enjoy the fruits of the earth indeed, but enjoy them only in +common with the animals that feed upon it, or perhaps with less relish +than they do, as it is agreed their organs of sensation have a greater +share of poignancy than ours.--What is it but _curiosity_ which +renders study either pleasing or profitable to us?--The facts we read +of would soon slip through the memory, or if they retained any place +in it, could be of little advantage, without being acquainted with the +motives which occasioned them. By _curiosity_ we _examine_, by +_examining_ we _compare_, and by _comparing_ we are alone enabled to +form a right _judgment_, whether of things or persons. + +We are told indeed of many jealousies, discontents, and quarrels, +which have been occasioned by this passion, among those who might +otherwise have lived in perfect harmony; and a man or woman, who has +the character of being too inquisitive, is shunned as dangerous to +society.--But what commendable quality is there that may not be +perverted, or what _virtue_ whose extreme does not border on a +_vice_?--Even _devotion_ itself should have its bounds, or it will +launch into _bigotry_ and _enthusiasm_;--_love_, the most _generous_ +and _gentle_ of all the passions, when ill-placed, or unprescribed, +degenerates into the very _worst_;--_justice_ may be pursued till it +becomes _cruelty_;--_emulation_ indulged till it grows up to +_envy_;--_frugality_ to the most sordid _avarice_; and _courage_ to a +brutal _rashness_;--and so I am ready to allow that _curiosity_, from +whence all the _good_ in us originally arises, may also be productive +of the _greatest mischiefs_, when not, like every other emotion of the +soul, kept within its due limits, and suffered to exert itself only on +warrantable objects. + +It should therefore be the first care of every one to regulate this +propensity in himself, as well as of those under whose tuition he may +happen to be, whether parents or governors.--Nature, and the writings +of learned men, who from time to time have commented on all that has +happened in nature, certainly afford sufficient matter to gratify the +most enquiring mind, without descending to such mean trifling +inquisitions, as can no way improve itself, and may be of prejudice to +others. + +I have dwelt the longer on this head, because it seems to me, that on +the _well_, or _ill direction_ of that curiosity, which is inherent to +us all, depends, in a great measure, the peace and happiness of +society. + +Natura, like all children, uncircumscribed by precept, had not only a +desire of prying into those things which it was his advantage to know, +but also into those which he had much better have been totally +ignorant of, and which the discovery of his being too well skilled in, +frequently occasioned him much ill will, especially when he was found +to have too far dived into those little secrets which will ever be +among servants in large families. But reason was not ripe enough in +him to enable him to distinguish between what were proper subjects for +the exercise of this passion, and what were not so. + +That impediment, however, which had hitherto retarded his departure +being removed, he now set out for Eton, under the conduct of the +abovementioned kinsman, who placed him in a boarding-house very near +the school, and took his leave, after having given him such +admonitions as he thought necessary for a person of his years, when +more intrusted to himself than he before had been. + +But Natura was not yet arrived at an age wherein it could be expected +he should reap much benefit from advice. A settled resolution, and the +power of judging what is our real interest to do, are the perfections +of maturity, and happy is it for the few who even then attain +them.--_Precept_ must be constantly and artfully instilled to make any +impression on the mind, and is rarely fixed there, till experience +confirms it; therefore, as both these were wanting to form his +behaviour, what could be hoped from it, but such a one as was +conformable to the various passions which agitate human nature, and +which every day grow stronger in us, at least till they have attained +a certain crisis, after which they decay, in proportion as they +increased. + +As _wrath_ is one of the most violent emotions of the soul, so I think +it is one of the first that breaks out into effects: it owes its birth +indeed to _pride_; for we are never angry, unless touched by a real, +or imaginary insult; but, by the offspring chiefly is the parent seen. +_Pride_ seldom, I believe it may be said, _never_, wholly dies in us, +tho' it may be concealed; whereas _wrath_ diminishes as our _reason_ +increases, and seems intirely evaporated after the heat of youth is +over: when a man therefore has divested himself of the _one_, no +tokens are left to distinguish the _other_.--Sometimes, indeed, we +shall see an extreme impetuosity, even to old age, but then, it is out +of the ordinary course of nature, and besides, the person possessed of +it must be endued with a small share of sound understanding, to give +any marks of such a propensity remaining in him. + +It is with the utmost justice, that by the system of the _christian_ +religion, _pride_ is intitled the original sin, not only as it was +that of the fallen angels, but also as it is certainly the +fountain-head from which all our other vices are derived.--It is by +the dictates of this pernicious passion we are inflamed with _wrath_, +and wild ambition,--instigated to covetousness,--to envy,--to revenge, +and in fine, to stop at nothing which tends to self-gratification, be +our desires of what kind soever. + +During the school hours, Natura, as well as the other young gentlemen, +was under too much awe of the master to give any loose to his temper; +but when these were over, and they went together into the fields, or +any other place to divert themselves, frequent quarrels among them +ensued; but above all between those who boarded in the same house; +little jealousies concerning some imaginary preference given to the +one more than the other, occasioned many bitter taunts and fleers, +which sometimes rose to blows and bloody noses; so that the good +people with whom they were, had enough to do, to keep them in any +tolerable decorum. + +There is also another branch of _pride_ which is visible in all youth, +before consideration takes place, and that is, treating with contempt +whoever seems our inferior.--A boy who was allowed less money, or wore +plainer cloaths, was sure to be the jest of all the rest. Natura was +equally guilty of this fault with his companions; but when the +sarcasms became too severe, and the object of them appeared any way +dejected, his generosity often got the better of his arrogance, and he +would take part with the weakest side, even till he drew on himself +part of those reflections he averted from the other; but this never +happened without his resenting it with the utmost violence; for +patience and forbearance were virtues not to be expected in this stage +of life. + +He was a great lover of gaming, whether of chucking, tossing up for +money, or cards, and extremely ill-humoured and quarrelsome whenever +luck was not on his side; which shews, that whatever people may +pretend, avarice is at the bottom, and occasions all the fondness so +many testify for play. + +As for the other ordinary diversions of youth, none could pursue them +with more eagerness, nor was less deterred by any ill accident which +befel either himself, or any of his companions; one of whom having +been near drowning before his face, as they were swimming together, +the sight did not hinder him from plunging into the same stream every +day; nor could he be prevailed upon from ringing, as often as he had +an opportunity, though he had been thrown one day by the breaking of +the bell-rope, a great height from the ground, and in the fall +dislocated his shoulder, and bruised his body all over.--But it is not +to be wondered at, that boys should remember the misfortunes their +pleasures have brought on them no longer than the smart continues, +when men of the ripest, and sometimes most advanced years, are not to +be warned from the gratification of their passions, by the worst, and +most frequently repeated ills. + +He, notwithstanding, made a very good progress in those things in +which he was instructed, which as yet were only Latin and Greek; and +when the time of breaking up arrived, and he returned to his father's +house, none who examined him concerning his learning, could suspect +there was either any want of application in himself, or care in his +master. + +His three months of absence having rendered him a kind of stranger at +home, his mother-in-law used him with somewhat more civility, and his +father seemed highly satisfied with him; all his kindred and friends +caressed him, and made him many little presents of such things as +befitted his years; but that which crowned his felicity, was the +company of a young girl, a near relation of his stepmother's, who was +come to pass some time with her, and see London, which she had never +been in before. + + + + +CHAP. III. + + The early influence which the difference of sex excites, is here + exemplified in the fond but innocent affection of Natura and Delia. + + +Natura being much of the same age with Delia (for so I shall call her) +and both equally playful, spirituous, and good-natured, it is hard to +say which of them took the greatest delight in the society of the +other. Natura was never well out of the presence of Delia, nor Delia +contented but when Natura was with her. + +In walking, dancing, playing at cards, these amiable children were +always partners; and it was remarkable, that in the latter of these +diversions, Natura was never uneasy at losing his money to Delia, nor +resented any little railleries she treated him with on account of his +ill luck, or want of skill in the game, as he had been accustomed to +do whenever he received the like from any of his companions.--So +forcibly does the difference of sex operate, even before that +difference is considered. + +Natura was yet too young by much, to know wherefore he found in +himself this complaisance, or how it came to pass, that he so much +preferred a beautiful and good-humoured girl, to a boy possessed of +the same qualifications; but he was not ignorant that he did so, and +has often wondered (as he afterwards confessed) what it was that made +him feel so much pleasure, whenever, in innocently romping together, +he happened to catch hold of her in his arms; and what strange impulse +it was, that rendered him so reluctant to part with her out of that +posture, that she was obliged to struggle with all her strength to +disengage herself. + +Hence it is plain, that the passion of love is part of our +composition, implanted in the soul for the propagation of the world; +and we ought not, in my opinion, to be too severe on the errors which, +meerly and abstracted from any other motive than itself, it sometimes +influences us to be guilty of.--The laws, indeed, which prohibit any +amorous intercourse between the sexes, unless authored by the +solemnities of marriage, are without all question, excellently well +calculated for the good of society, because without such a +restriction, there would be no such thing as order in the world. I am +therefore far from thinking lightly of that truly sacred institution, +when I say, that there are some cases, in which the pair so offending, +merit rather our pity, than that abhorrence which those of a more +rigid virtue, colder constitution, or less under the power of +temptation, are apt to testify on such occasion. + +Rarely, however, it happens, that love is guilty of any thing capable +of being condemned, even by the most austere; most of the faults +committed under that sanction, being in reality instigated by some +other passion, such as avarice and ambition in the one sex, and a +flame which is too often confounded and mistaken for a pure affection +in the other.--Yet such is the ill-judging, or careless determination +of the world, that without making any allowances for circumstances, it +censures all indiscriminately alike. + +The time prefixed for Natura's remaining with his father being but +fourteen days, as they grew near expired, the family began to talk of +his going, and orders were given to bespeak a place for him in the +stage-coach: he had been extremely pleased with Eton, nor had he met +with any cause of disgust, either at the school or house where he was +boarded, yet did the thoughts of returning thither give him as much +disquiet as his young heart was capable of conceiving.--The parting +from Delia was terrible to him, and the nearer the cruel moment +approached, the more his anxiety increased.--She seemed also grieved +to lose so agreeable a companion, and would often tell him she wished +he was to stay as long as she did. + +Though nothing could be more innocent than these declarations on both +sides, yet what she said had such an effect on Natura, that he +resolved to delay his return to Eton as long as possible; and that +passion which he already felt the symptoms of, though equally ignorant +of their nature or end, being always fertile in invention, put a +stratagem into his head, which he flattered himself would succeed for +a somewhat farther continuance of his present happiness. + +The day before that prefixed for his going, he pretended a violent +pain in his head and stomach, and to give the greater credit to his +pretended indisposition, would eat nothing; and as it drew toward +evening, cried out he was very sick, and must go to bed.--His father, +who had the most tender affection for him, could not think of sending +him away in that condition.--He went in the morning to his bedside, +and finding him, as he imagined, a little feverish, presently ordered +a physician, who did not fail to countenance the young gentleman's +contrivance, either that he really thought him out of order, or that +he had rendered himself so in good earnest, through abstaining from +food, a thing very uncommon with him. A prescription was sent to the +apothecary for him, and a certain regimen directed. + +But poor Natura soon found this did not answer his purpose:--he was in +the same house indeed with his beloved Delia, but had not the pleasure +of her company, nor even that of barely seeing her, she being forbid +going near his chamber, on account of the apprehensions they had that +his complaint might terminate in a fever, and endanger her health. + +This, however, was more than he knew, and resentment for her supposed +indifference, joined with the weariness of living in the manner he +did, made him resolve to grow well again, and chuse to go to Eton, +rather than suffer so much for one who seemed so little to regard him. + +Accordingly, when they brought him something had been ordered for him +to take, he refused it, saying, he had not occasion for any more +physic, and immediately got up, and dressed himself, in spite of all +the servant that attended him could do to prevent it.--Word being +carried to his father of what he was doing, he imagined him delirious, +and immediately got up, and went into his room, nor though he found +him intirely cool, could be perswaded from his first opinion.--The +doctor was again sent for, who unwilling to lose his perquisite, made +a long harangue on the nature of internal fevers, and very learnedly +proved, or seemed to prove, that they might operate so far as to +affect the brain, without the least outward symptom. + +Natura could not forbear laughing within himself, to hear this great +man so much mistaken; but when they told him he must take his physic, +and go to bed, or at least be confined to his chamber, he absolutely +refused both, and said he was as well as ever he was in his life.--All +he said, however, availed nothing, and his father was about to make +use of his authority to force him to obedience to the doctor's +prescription, when finding no other way to avoid it, he fell on his +knees, and with tears in his eyes, confessed he had only counterfeited +sickness, to delay being sent to Eton again; begged his father to +forgive him; said he was sorry for having attempted to deceive him, +but was ready to go whenever he pleased. + +The father was strangely amazed at the trick had been put upon him; +and after some severe reprimands on the occasion, asked what he had to +complain of at Eton, that had rendered him so unwilling to return. +Natura hesitated at this demand, but could not find in his heart to +forge any unjust accusation concerning his usage at that place, and at +last said, that indeed it was only because he had a mind to stay a +little longer at home with him. On which he told him he was an idle +boy, but he must not expect that wheedle would serve his turn; for +since he was not sick, he must go to school the next day: Natura +renewed his intreaties for pardon, and assured him he now desired +nothing more than to do as he commanded. + +This story made a great noise in the family, and the mother-in-law did +not fail to represent it in its worst colours to every one that came +to the house; but Natura having obtained forgiveness from his father, +did not give himself much trouble as to the rest.--Delia seemed +rejoiced to see him come down stairs again, but he looked shy upon +her, and told her he could not have thought she would have been so +unkind as not to have come to see him; but on her acquainting him with +the reason of her absence, and protesting it was not her fault, he +grew as fond of her as ever; and among a great many other tender +expressions, 'I wish,' said he, 'I were a man, and you a +woman.'--'Why?' returned she; 'because,' cried he, 'we would be +married.'--'O fye,' answered the little coquet, 'I should hate you, if +you thought of any such thing; for I will never be married.' Then +turned away with an affected scornfulness, and yet looked kindly +enough upon him from the corner of one eye.--'I am sure,' resumed he, +'if you loved me as well as I do you, you would like to be married to +me, for then we should be always together.'--He was going on with +something farther in this innocent courtship, when some one or other +of the family, coming into the room, broke it off; and whether it was +resumed afterwards, or not, I cannot pretend to determine, nor whether +he had opportunity to take any particular leave of her before his +departure, which happened, as his father had threatened, the +succeeding day. + + + + +CHAP. IV. + + Shews, that till we arrive at a certain age, the impressions made on + us are easily erased; and also that when those which bear the name + of love are once rooted in the mind, there are no lengths to which + we may not be transported by that passion, if great care is not + taken to prevent its getting the ascendant over reason. + + +The change of scene did not make any change in the sentiments of our +young lover: Delia was always in his head, and none of the diversions +he took with his companions could banish her from his thoughts; yet +did she not so wholly engross his attention, as to render him remiss +in his studies; his ambition, as I said before, would not suffer him +to neglect the means of acquiring praise, and nothing was so +insupportable to him as to find at any time another boy had merited a +greater share of it: by which we may perceive that this very passion, +unruly as it is, and in spite of the mischiefs it sometimes occasions, +is also bestowed upon us for our emolument; and when properly +directed, is the greatest excitement to all that is noble and +generous, Natura seldom had the mortification of seeing any of the +same standing with himself placed above him; and whenever such an +accident happened, he was sure to retrieve it by an extraordinary +assiduity. + +But to shew that love and business are not wholly incompatible, his +attachment to Delia did not take him off his learning, nor did his +application to learning make him forgetful of Delia. He frequently +thought of her, wished to see her, and longed for the next +breaking-up, that he might re-enjoy that satisfaction, as he knew she +intended to stay the whole winter at his father's; but now arrived the +time to prove the inconstancy of human nature: he became acquainted +with some other little misses, and by degrees found charms in them, +which made those he had observed in Delia appear less admirable in his +eyes; the fondness he had felt for her being in reality instigated +chiefly by being the only one of his own age he had conversed with, a +more general acquaintance with others not only wore off the impression +she had made, but also kept him from receiving too deep a one from the +particular perfections of any of those he now was pleased with:--it is +likely, however, that the sight of her might have revived in him some +part of his former tenderness, had he found her, as he expected he +should, on his next coming to London: but an elder sister she had in +the country, happening to die, she was sent for home, in order to +console their mother for that loss; so that he had not any trial on +that account; and tho' he thought he should have been glad of her +society, during his stay in town, yet her absence gave him small +anxiety; and the variety of company which came to the house on account +of the baptism of a little son his mother-in-law had lately brought +into the world, very well atoned for the want of Delia. + +Nothing material happening to him during his stay in town at this +time, nor in any other of the many visits he made his father while he +continued at Eton, I shall pass over those years, and only say, that +as he grew nearer to manhood, his passions gathered strength in +proportion; and tho' he increased in knowledge, yet it was not that +sort of knowledge which enables us to judge of the emotions we feel +within ourselves, or to set curbs on those, which to indulge renders +us liable to inconveniences. + +All those propensities, of which he gave such early indications, and +which I attempted to describe in the beginning of this book, now +displayed themselves with greater vigour, and according as exterior +objects presented, or circumstances excited, ruled with alternate +sway: sparing sometimes to niggardliness, at others profusely +liberal;--now pleased, now angry;--submissive this moment, arrogant +and assuming the next;--seldom in a perfect calm, and frequently +agitated to excess.--Hence arose contests and quarrels, even with +those whose company in some humours he was most delighted +with;--insolence to such whose way of thinking did not happen to tally +with his own, and as partial an attachment to those who either did, or +pretended to enter into his sentiments. + +But as it was only in trivial matters, and such as were meerly boyish, +he yet had opportunity of exercising the passions, his behaviour only +served to shew what man would be, when arrived at maturity, if not +restrained by precept. + +He had attained to little more than sixteen years of age, when he had +gone through all the learning of the school, and was what they call +fit for the university, to which his father not intending him for the +study of any particular science, did not think it necessary to send +him, but rather to bestow on him those other accomplishments, which +are immediately expected from a gentleman of an estate; such as +fencing, dancing, and music, and accordingly provided masters to +instruct him in each, as soon as he came home, which was about the +time of life I mentioned. + +As he was now past the age of being treated as a meer child, and also +knew better how it would become him to behave to the wife of his +father, his mother-in-law seemed to live with him in harmony enough, +and the family at least was not divided into parties as it had been, +and eighteen or nineteen months past over, without any rub in our +young gentleman's tranquility. + +Since his childish affection for Delia, he had not been possessed of +what could be called a strong inclination for any particular female; +though, as many incidents in his life afterwards proved, he had a no +less amorous propensity than any of his sex, and was equally capable +of going the greatest lengths for its gratification. + +He was but just turned of nineteen, when happening to pass by the +playhouse one evening, he took it into his head to go in, and see the +last act of a very celebrated tragedy acted that night.--But it was +not the poet's or the player's art which so much engaged his +attention, as the numerous and gay assembly which filled every part of +the house.--He was in the back bench of one of the front boxes, from +which he had a full prospect of all who sat below:--but in throwing +his eyes around on every dazzling belle, he found none so agreeable to +him as a young lady who was placed in the next division of the +box:--her age did not seem to exceed his own, and tho' less splendid +in garb and jewels than several who sat near her, had something in her +eyes and air, that, in his opinion, at least, infinitely exceeded them +all. + +When the curtain dropt, and every one was crowding out as fast they +could, he lost not sight of her; and finding when they came out to the +door, that she, and a companion she had with her, somewhat older than +herself, seemed distressed for chairs, which by reason of the great +concourse, seemed difficult to be got, he took the opportunity, in a +very polite manner, to offer himself for their protector, as he +perceived they had neither friend nor servant with them. They accepted +it with a great deal of seeming modesty, and he conducted them through +a passage belonging to the house which he knew was less thronged, and +thence put them into a hackney coach, having first obtained their +permission to attend them to their lodgings, or wherever else they +pleased to be set down. + +When they arrived at the place to which they gave the coachman a +direction, he would have taken leave of them at the door; but they +joined in entreating him, that since he had been at the pains of +bringing them safe home, he would come in and refresh himself with +such as their apartment could supply: there required little invitation +to a thing his heart so sincerely wished, tho' his fears of being +thought too presuming, would not suffer him to ask it. + +He went up stairs, and found rooms decently furnished, and a +maid-servant immediately spread the table with a genteel cold +collation; but what he looked upon as the most elegant part of the +entertainment, was the agreeable chit-chat during the time of supper, +and a song the lady who had so much attracted him, gave him, at her +friend's request, after the cloth was taken away. + +It growing late, his fears of offending where he already had such an +inclination to oblige, made him about to take his leave; but could not +do it without intreating permission to wait on them the next day, to +receive pardon, as he said, for having by his long stay, broke in upon +the hours should have been devoted to repose. Tho' this compliment, +and indeed all the others he had made, were directed to both, the +regard his eyes paid to the youngest, easily shewed the preference he +secretly gave to her; and as neither of these women wanted experience +in such affairs, knew very well how to make the most of any advantage. +'If this lodging were mine,' replied the eldest briskly, 'I should +have anticipated the request you make; but as I am only a guest, and +take part of my friend's bed to-night on account of the hour, will +take upon me to say, she ought not to refuse greater favours to so +accomplished a gentleman, and from whom we have received so much +civility.' + +Natura did not fail to answer this gallantry in a proper manner, and +departed highly satisfied with his adventure; tho' probably could find +less reasons for being so, than those with whom he thought it the +greatest happiness of his life to have become acquainted. + +Wonderful are the workings of love on a young heart: pleasure has the +same effect as pain, and permits as little rest: it was not in the +power of Natura to close his eyes for a long time after he went to +bed.--He recollected every thing the dear creature had said;--in what +manner she looked, when speaking such or such a thing;--how inchanting +she sang, and what a genteelness accompanied all she did:--when he +fell into a slumber, it was only to bring her more perfectly into his +mind; whatever had past in the few hours he had been with her, +returned, with additional graces on her part, and her idea had in +sleep all the effect her real presence could have had in waking. + +With what care did he dress himself the next day:--what fears was he +not possessed of, lest all about him should not be exact:--never yet +had he consulted the great glass with such assiduity;--never till now +examined how far he had been indebted to nature for personal +endowments. + +His impatience would have carried him to pay a morning visit, but he +feared that would be too great a freedom, and therefore restrained +himself till after dinner, though what he eat could scarce be called +so; the food his _mind_ languished for, being wanting, the body was +too complaisant to indulge itself.--After rising from table, not a +minute passed without looking on his watch, and at the same time +cursing the tedious seconds, which seemed to him increased from sixty +to six hundred.--The hour of five at length put an end to his +suspence, and he took his way to the dear, well-remembered mansion of +his adorable. + +He found her at home, and in a careless, but most becoming +dishabillee; the other lady was still with her; and told him she had +tarried thus long with Miss Harriot, for so she called her, meerly to +participate of the pleasure of his good company. Harriot, in a gay +manner, accused her of envy, and both having a good share of wit, the +conversation might have been pleasing enough to a man less +prepossessed than Natura. + +The tea equipage was set, and the ceremony of that being over, cards +were proposed; as they were three, Ombre was the game, at which they +played some hours, and Natura was asked to sup.--After what I have +said, I believe the reader has no occasion to be told that he complied +with a pleasure which was but too visible in his eyes.--The time +passed insensibly on, or at least seemed to do so to the friend of +Harriot, till the watchman reminding her it was past eleven, she +started up, and pretending a surprize, that the night was so far +advanced, told Natura that she must exact a second proof of that +gallantry he had shewn the night before, for she had not courage to go +either in a chair or a coach alone at that late hour:--this doubtless +was what he would have offered, had she been silent on the occasion; +and a coach being ordered to the door, he took leave of miss Harriot, +though not till he had obtained leave to testify his respects in some +future visits. + +Had Natura appeared to have more experience of the town, the lady he +gallanted home would certainly not have entertained him with the +discourse she did; but his extreme youth, and the modest manner of his +behaviour on the first sight of him, convinced them he was a person +such as they wished to have in their power, and to that end had +concerted measures between themselves, to perfect the conquest which, +it was easy to perceive, one of them had begun to make over him. + +Harriot being the person with whom they found he was enamoured, it was +the business of the other to do for her what, it may be supposed, she +would have done for her on the like occasion.--Natura was no sooner in +the coach with her, than she began to magnify the charms of her fair +friend, but above all extolled her virtue, her prudence, and good +humour:--then, as if only to give a proof of her patience and +fortitude, that her parents dying when she was an infant, had left her +with a vast fortune in the hands of a guardian, who attempting to +defraud her of the greatest part, she was now at law with him, 'and is +obliged to live, till the affair is decided,' said this artful woman, +'in the narrow manner you see,--without a coach,--without any +equipage; and yet she bears it all with chearfulness:--she has a +multiplicity of admirers,' added she, 'but she assures all of them, +that she will never marry, till she knows what present she shall be +able to give with herself to the man she shall make choice of.' + +Till now Natura had never asked himself the question how far his +passion for Harriot extended, or with what view he should address her; +but when he heard she was a woman of condition, and would have a +fortune answerable to her birth, he began to think it would be happy +for him if he could obtain her love on the most honourable terms. + +It would be too tedious to relate all the particulars of his +courtship; so I shall only say, that humble and timid as the first +emotions of a sincere passion are, he was emboldened, by the +extraordinary complaisance of Harriot, to declare it to her in a few +days.--The art with which she managed on this occasion, might have +deceived the most knowing in the sex; it is not, therefore, +surprizing, that he should be caught in a snare, which, though ruinous +as it had like to have been, had in it allurements scarce possible to +be withstood at his time of life. + +It was by such degrees as the most modest virgin need not blush to +own, that she confessed herself sensible of an equal tenderness for +him; and nothing is more strange, than that in the transport he was +in, at the condescensions she made him, that he did not immediately +press for the consummation of his happiness by marriage; but tho' he +wished for nothing so much, yet he was with-held by the fears of his +father, who he thought would not approve of such a step, as the +fortune he imagined she had a right to, was yet undetermined, and +himself, tho' an elder son, and the undoubted heir of a very good +estate, at present wholly dependant on him.--He communicated his +sentiments to Harriot on this head with the utmost sincerity, +protesting at the same time that he should never enjoy a moment's +tranquility till he could call her his own. + +She seemed to approve of the caution he testified;--said it was such +as she had always resolved religiously to observe herself; 'tho' I +know not,' cried she, looking on him with the most passionate air, +'how far I might have been tempted to break thro' all for your sake; +but it is well one of us is wise enough to foresee and tremble at the +consequences of a marriage between two persons whose fortunes are +unestablished.'--Then, finding he made her no other answer than some +kisses, accompanied with a strenuous embrace, she went on; 'there is a +way,' resumed she, 'to secure us to each other, without danger of +disobliging any body; and that is by a contract: I never can be easy, +while I think there is a possibility of your transferring your +affection to some other, and if you love me with half that degree of +tenderness you pretend, you cannot but feel the same anxiety.' + +Natura was charmed with this proposition, and it was agreed between +them, that her lawyer should draw up double contracts in form, which +should be signed and delivered interchangeably by both parties. +Accordingly, the very next day, the fatal papers were prepared, and he +subscribed his name to that which was to remain in her custody, as she +did her's to that given to him. Each being witnessed by the woman with +whom he first became acquainted with her, and another person called +into the room for that purpose. + +Natura now considering her as his wife, thought himself intitled to +take greater liberties than he had ever presumed to do before, and she +had also a kind of a pretence for permitting them, till at last there +remained nothing more for him to ask, or her to grant. + +Enjoyment made no abatement in his passion; his fondness was rather +increased by it, and he never thought himself happy, but when with +her; he went to her almost every night, and sometimes passed all night +with her, having made an interest with one of the servants, who let +him in at whatever hour he came:--so totally did she engross his mind, +that he seemed to have not the least attention for any thing beside: +nor was the time he wasted with her all the prejudice she did +him:--all the allowance made him by his father for cloaths and other +expences, he dissipated in treats and presents to her, running in debt +for every thing he had occasion for. + +But this was insufficient for her expectations; she wanted a sum of +money, and pretending that her law-suit required a hundred guineas +immediately, and that some remittances she was to have from the +country would come too late, told him he must raise it for her some +way or other. + +This demand was a kind of thunder-stroke to Natura; not but he doated +on her enough to have sacrificed infinitely more to her desires, if in +his power; but what she asked seemed so wholly out of reach, that he +knew not any way by which there was the least probability of attaining +it. The embarrassment that appeared in his countenance made her see it +was not so easy for him to grant, as it was for her to ask. 'I should +have wanted courage,' said she, 'to have made you this request, had I +not considered that what is mine must one day be yours, and it will be +your own unhappiness as well as mine, should my cause miscarry for +want of means to carry it on.'--'Severe necessity!' added she, letting +fall some tears, 'that reduces me to intreat favours where I could +wish only to bestow them.' + +These words destroyed all the remains of prudence his love had left in +him; he embraced her, kissed away her tears, and assured her that +though, as he was under age, and had but a small allowance from his +father, it was not at this time very easy for him to comply with her +demand, yet she might depend upon him for the money the next day, let +it cost what it would, or whatever should be the consequence. + +He left her that night much sooner than was his custom, in order to +consult within himself on the means of fulfilling his promise to her, +which, to have failed in, would have been more terrible to him than +death. + + + + +CHAP. V. + + That to indulge any one fault, brings with it the temptation of + committing others, is demonstrated by the behaviour of Natura, and + the misfortunes and disgrace which an ill-judged shame had like to + have involved him in. + + +Never had Natura experienced so cruel a night; a thousand stratagems +came into his head, but for some reason or other all seemed alike +impracticable, and the morning found him in no more easy a +situation.--He put on his cloaths hastily, and resolved to go to all +the acquaintance he had in the world, and try the friendship of each, +by borrowing what sums he thought they might be able to spare: but +first, going into his father's closet, as was his custom every morning +to pay his duty to him, he found a person with him who was paying him +a large sum of money: the sight of what he so much wanted filled him +with inexpressible agitations:--he would have given almost a limb to +have had in his possession so much of that shining ore as Harriot +expected from him; and wished that some sudden accident, even to the +falling of the house, would happen, that in the confusion he might +seize on some part of the treasure he saw before him. + +The person, after the affair which brought him there was over, took +leave of the father of Natura, who having thrown the money into his +bureau, to a large heap was there before, waited on him down stairs, +without staying to lock the drawer. + +Often had Natura been present when his father received larger sums +than this, and doubtless had the same opportunity as now to make +himself master of some part, or all of it; but never till this unhappy +exigence had the least temptation to do so.--It came into his head +that the accident was perfectly providential, and that he ought not to +neglect the only means by which he could perform his promise;--that +his father could very well spare the sum he wanted, and that it was +only taking before the time what by inheritance must be his own +hereafter.--In this imagination he opened the drawer, and was about to +pursue his intention, when he recollected that the money would +certainly be missed, and either the fault be laid upon some innocent +person, who might suffer for his crime; or he himself would be +suspected of a thing, which, in this second thought, he found so mean +and wicked, that he was shocked almost to death, for having been +capable of even a wish to be guilty of it.--He shut the drawer +again,--turned himself away, and was in the utmost confusion of mind, +when his father returned into the room; which shews that there is a +native honesty in the human nature, which nothing but a long practice +of base actions can wholly eradicate: and I dare believe that even +those we see most hardened in vice, have felt severe struggles within +themselves at first, and have often looked back upon the paths of +virtue, wishing, tho' fruitlesly, to return. + +Natura, however, did not give over his pursuit of the means of +performing his promise: on the contrary, he thought himself obliged by +all the ties of love, honour, and even self-interest, to do it; but +difficult as he believed the task would be, he found it much more so +than he could even have imagined: his intimacy being only with such, +as being much of his own age, and like him were at an allowance from +their parents or guardians, it was not in the power of any of them to +contribute a large sum toward making up that he wanted; the most he +got from any one being no more than five guineas, and all he raised +among the whole amounted to no more than twenty, and some odd pounds. + +Distracted with his ill fortune, he ventured to go to an uncle he had +by the mother's side, and after many complaints of his father's +parsimony, told him, that having been drawn into some expences, which, +though not extravagant, were more than his little purse could supply, +he had broke into some money given him to pay his taylor, whom he +feared would demand it of his father, and he knew not how far the +ill-will of his mother-in-law might exaggerate the matter; concluding +with an humble petition for twenty guineas, which he told him he would +faithfully return by degrees. + +As Natura had the character of a sober youth, the good old gentleman +was moved by the distress he saw him in, and readily granted his +request, tho' not without some admonitions to confine for the future +his expences to his allowance, be it ever so small. + +Thus Natura having with all his diligence not been able to raise quite +half of the sum in question, was quite distracted what to do, and as +he afterwards owned, more than once repented him of those scruples +which had prevented him from serving himself at once out of his +father's purse; tho' had the same opportunity again presented itself, +it is scarce possible to believe by the rest of his behaviour, that he +would have made use of it, or if he had, that he could have survived +the shame and remorse it would have caused in him. + +In his desperation he ran at last to the house of a noted +money-scrivener, a great acquaintance of the family, and in his whose +hands his father frequently reposed his ready cash: to this man he +communicates his distress, and easily prevails with him to let him +have fifty pounds, on giving him a note to pay him an hundred for it +when he should come of age, his father having said he would then make +a settlement on him. + +This, however, was still somewhat short of what Harriot had demanded; +but he left his watch at a pawn-broker's for the rest; and having +compleated the sum, went transported with joy, and threw it into the +lap of that idol of his soul; after which, he was for some days +perfectly at ease, indulging himself with all he at present wished +for, and losing no time in thought of what might happen to interrupt +his happiness. + +But while he battened in the sun-shine of his pleasures, storms of +vexation were gathering over his head, which, when he least expected +such a shock, poured all their force upon him. + +The first time his uncle happened to see his father, he fell on the +topic of the necessity there was for young gentlemen born to estates, +and educated in a liberal manner, to be enabled to keep his equals +company; adding, that if the parsimony of a parent, denied them an +allowance, agreeable to their rank, it might either drive them to ill +courses, or force them to associate themselves only with mean, +low-bred people, among whom they might lose all the politeness had +been inculcated into them. The father of Natura, well knowing he had +nothing to answer for on this account, never suspected this discourse +was directed to him in particular, and joined in his brother-in-law's +opinion, heartily blaming those parents, who, by being too sparing to +their children, destroyed all natural affection in them, and gave them +some sort of an excuse for wishing for their death:--he thanked God he +was not of that disposition, and then told him what he allowed per +quarter to Natura, 'with which,' added he, 'I believe he is intirely +satisfied.' The other replying, that indeed he thought it more than +sufficient, the conversation dropped; but what sentiments he now began +to conceive of his nephew it is easy to conceive; the father however +thought no farther of this, till soon after the scrivener came to wait +on him:--he was a perfect honest man, and had lent Natura the money +meerly to prevent his applying to some other person, who possibly +might have taken advantage of his thoughtlessness, so far as even to +have brought on his utter ruin, too many such examples daily happening +in the world: to deter him also from going on in this course, he +demanded that exorbitant interest for his money abovementioned, which, +notwithstanding, as he assured his father, in relating to him the +whole transaction, he was far from any intention to make him pay. + +Never was astonishment greater than that in which the father of Natura +was now involved;--the discourse of his brother-in-law now came fresh +into his mind, and he recollected some words which, tho' he did not +observe at the time they were spoken, now convinced him had a meaning +which he could not have imagined there was any room for.--He had no +sooner parted from the scrivener, than he flew to that gentleman, and +having related to him what had passed between him and the scrivener, +conjured him, if he could give him any farther lights into the affair, +not to keep him in ignorance: on which the other thought it his duty +to conceal nothing, either of the complaints, or request had been made +him by his nephew:--after some exclamations on the extravagance and +thoughtlessness of youth, the afflicted father went in search of more +discoveries, which he found it but too easy to make among the +tradesmen, all of whom he found had been unpaid for some time. + +It would be needless to go about to make any description of the +confusion of mind he was in:--he shut himself in his closet, uncertain +for some time how he should proceed; at last, as he considered there +was not a possibility of reclaiming his son from whatever vice had led +him thus all at once into such extravagancies, without first knowing +what kind of vice it was; he resolved to talk to him, and penetrate, +if possible, into the source of this evil. + +Accordingly the next morning he went into the chamber where Natura was +yet in bed; and began to entertain him in the manner he had proposed +to himself:--first, he let him know, that he was not unacquainted with +every step he had taken for raising a sum, which he could not conceive +he had any occasion for, as well as his having with-held the money he +had given him to discharge his tradesmen's bills:--then proceeded to +set before his eyes the folly and danger of having hid, at his years, +any secrets from a parent; concluding with telling him, he had yet a +heart capable or forgiving what was past, provided he would behave in +a different manner for the future. + +What Natura felt at finding so much of what he had done revealed to +his father, was greatly alleviated, by perceiving that the main thing, +his engagement with Harriot, was a secret to him:--he did not fail to +make large promises of being a better oeconomist, nor to express the +most dutiful gratitude for the pardon the good old gentleman so +readily offered; but this he told him was not sufficient to deserve a +re-establishment in his favour, he must also give him a faithful +account by what company, and for what purposes he had been induced to +such ill husbandry; 'for,' added he, 'without a sincere confession of +the motives of our past transactions, there can be little assurances +of future amendment.' + +Natura to this only answered, that it was impossible to recount the +particulars of his expences, and made so many evasions, on his +father's still continuing to press his being more explicit, that he +easily perceived there would be no coming at the truth by gentle +means; and therefore, throwing off at once a tenderness so +ineffectual, he assumed all the authority of an offended parent, and +told the trembling Natura, that since he knew not how to behave as a +_son_, he should cease to be a _father_, in every thing but in his +authority:--'be assured,' said be, 'I shall take sure measures to +prevent you from bringing either ruin or disgrace upon a family of +which you are the first profligate:--this chamber must be your prison, +till I have considered in what fashion I shall dispose of you.' + +With these words he flung out of the room, locking the door after him; +so that when Natura rose, as he immediately did, he found himself +indeed under confinement, which seemed so shameful a thing to him, that +he was ready to tear himself in pieces:--it was not the grief of having +offended so good a father, but the disgrace of the punishment inflicted +on him, which gave him the most poignant anguish, and far from feeling +any true contrition, he was all rage and madness, which having no means +to vent in words, discovered itself in sullenness:--when the servant to +whom he intrusted the key came in to bring him food, he refused to eat, +and could scarce restrain himself from throwing in the man's face what +he had brought. + +It is certain, that while under this circumstance, he was agitated at +once by every different unruly passion:--pride, anger, spleen, +thinking himself a man, at finding the treatment of a _boy_, made him +almost hate the person from whom he received it.--The apprehensions +what farther meaning might be couched in the menace with which his +father left him, threw him sometimes into a terror little different +from convulsive;--but above all, his impatience for seeing his dear +Harriot, and the surprize, the grief, and perhaps the resentment, he +imagined she must feel on his absenting himself, drove him into a kind +of despair. + +In fine, unable to sustain the violence of his agitations, on the +third night, regardless of what consequences might ensue from giving +this additional cause of displeasure to his father, he found means to +push back the lock of his chamber, and flew down stairs, and out at +the street-door with so much speed, that it would have been impossible +to have stopped him, had any one heard him, which none happened to do, +it being midnight, and all the family in a sound sleep. + +That he went directly to the lodgings of Harriot, I believe my reader +will make no doubt; but perhaps her character does not yet enough +appear, to give any suspicion of the reception he found there. + +In effect, she was no other than one of those common creatures, who +procure a miserable subsistance by the prostitution of their charms; +and as nature had not been sparing to her on that score, and she was +yet young, though less so than she appeared thro' art, she wanted not +a number of gallants, who all contributed, more or less, to her living +in the manner she did: several of these had happened to come when +Natura was with her; but she having had the precaution to acquaint +them with her design of drawing in this young spark for a husband, +they took the cue she gave them, each passing before him either for a +cousin, or one of the lawyers employed in her pretended suit. + +It was with one of these equally happy, tho' less deluded rivals of +Natura, that finding he did not come, she had agreed to pass this +night; and her maid, as the servants of such women, for the most part, +imitate their mistresses, happened to be at the door, either about to +introduce, or let out a lover of her own;--the sight of a man at that +time of night, with one who belonged to his beloved, immediately fired +Natura with jealousy:--he seized the fellow by the collar, and in a +voice hoarse with rage, asked him what business he had there? To which +the other replied only with a blow on the face, the wench shrieked out, +but Natura was either stronger or more nimble than his competitor; he +presently tripped up his heels, and ran up stairs.--Harriot and her +lover hearing somewhat of a scuffle, the latter started out of bed, and +opened the chamber-door, in order to listen what had occasioned it, +just as Natura had reached the stair-case.--If his soul was inflamed +before, what must it now have been, to see a man in his shirt, and just +risen from the arms of Harriot, who still lay trembling in bed:--he +flew upon him like an incensed lion; but the other being more robust, +soon disengaged himself and snatching his sword, which lay on a table +near the door, was going to put an end to the life of his disturber; +when Harriot cried out, 'Hold! hold!--for heaven's sake!--It is my +husband!'--Natura having no weapon wherewith he might defend himself, +or hurt his adversary, revenge gave way to self-preservation; and only +saying, 'husband, no;--I will die rather than be the husband of so vile +a woman,' run down with the same precipitation he had come up. + +Impossible it is to describe the condition of his mind when got into +the street:--his once violent affection was now converted into the +extremest hatred and contempt;--he detested not only Harriot, and the +whole sex, but even himself, for having been made the dupe of so +unworthy a creature, and could have tore out his own heart, for having +joined with her in deceiving him.--Having wandered about some time, +giving a loose to his fury, the considerations of what he should do, +at last took their turn:--home he could not go, the servant who used +to admit him knew nothing of his being out, and he durst not alarm the +family by knocking at the door, having passed by several times, and +found all fast. + +In this perplexity, as he went through a street he had not been used +to frequent, he saw a door open, and a great light in a kind of hall, +with servants attending:--he asked one of them to whom it belonged, +and was told it was a gaming-house, on which he went in, not with any +desire of playing, but to pass away some time; finding a great deal of +company there, he notwithstanding engaged himself at one of the +tables, and tho' he was not in a humour which would permit him to +exert much skill, he won considerably. + +The company did not break up till five in the morning, and he then +growing drowsy, and yet unable to find any excuse to make to his +father, he could not think of seeing his face, so went to a bagnio to +take that repose he had sufficient need of, the fatigues of his mind +having never suffered him to enjoy any sound sleep, since his father's +discovery of the extravagance he had been guilty of. + +On his awaking, the transaction of the preceding night returned to his +remembrance with all its galling circumstances, and the more he +reflected on his disobedience to his father, the less he could endure +the thoughts of coming into his presence:--in fine, that shame which +so often prevents people from doing amiss, was now the motive which +restrained him from doing what he ought to have done.--Had he +immediately gone home, thrown himself at his father's feet, and +confessed the truth, his youthful errors had doubtless merited +forgiveness; but this, though he knew it was both his duty, and his +interest, he could not prevail on himself to do; and to avoid the +rebukes he was sensible were due to his transgressions, he resolved to +hide himself as long as he could from the faces of all those who had a +right to make them. + +In fine, he led the life of a perfect vagabond, sculking from one +place to another, and keeping company with none but gamesters, rakes, +and sharpers, falling into all manner of dissolution; and whenever his +reason remonstrated any thing to him on these vicious courses, he +would then, to banish remorse for one fault, fly to others, yet worse, +and more destructive. + +It is true, he often looked back upon his _former_ behaviour, and was +struck with horror at comparing it with the _present_;--the reflection +too how much his mother-in-law might take advantage of the just +displeasure of his father against him, to prejudice him in his future +fortune, even to cause him to be disinherited, sometimes most cruelly +alarmed him; yet, not all this, nor the wants he was plunged in on an +ill run at play, (which was the sole means by which he subsisted) were +sufficient to bring him to do that which he now even wished to do, +tired with the conversation of those profligates, and secretly shocked +at the scenes of libertinism he was a daily witness of. + +His thoughts thus divided and perplexed, he at length fell into a kind +of despair; and not caring what became of himself, he resolved to +enter on board some ship, and never see England again, unless fortune +should do more than he had reason to hope for in his favour. + + + + +CHAP. VI. + + Shews the great force of natural affection and the good effects it + has over a grateful mind. + + +If children could be sensible of parental tenderness, or knew what +racking cares attend every misdoing of an offending offspring, the +heart of Natura would have been so much touched with what his father +endured on his account, as to have enabled him to have got the better +of that guilty shame, which alone hindered him from submitting to him; +but conscious of deferring only the severest reproofs, he could not +flatter himself there was a hope of ever being reinstated in that +affection he had once possessed, and was too proud to content himself +with less. + +That afflicted parent being informed of his son's flight, spared no +cost or pains to find out the place of his retreat; but all his +enquiries were in vain, and he was wholly in the dark, till it came +into his head to search a little escritore which stood in his chamber, +and of which he had taken away the key: on breaking it open, he found +the counterpart of his contract with Harriot, and by that discovery +was no longer at a loss for the motives which had obliged his son to +raise money, not doubting but the woman was either extremely indigent; +or a jilt: but to think the heir of his estate had been so weak as to +enter into so solemn and irretrievable an engagement, with a person of +either of these characters, gave him an inexpressible disquiet. All +his endeavours were now bent on finding her out, not in the least +questioning but his son was with her: the task was pretty difficult, +the contract discovering no more of her than her name, and the parish +in which she lived; yet did the emissaries he employed at last +surmount it: they brought him word not only of the exact place where +she lodged, but also of her character, as they learned it from the +neighbours; they heard also that a young gentleman, whose description +answered that of Natura, had been often seen with her, and that she +had given out she was married to him. + +The father having received this information, consulted with his +brother-in-law what course was to be taken, and both being of opinion, +that should any enquiry be made concerning Natura, it would only +oblige them to quit their lodgings, and fly to some place where, +perhaps, it would be more difficult to trace them; it was agreed to +get a lord chief justice's warrant, and search her lodgings, without +giving any previous alarm. + +This was no sooner resolved than put in execution: the father and +uncle, attended by proper officers, burst into the house, and examined +carefully every part of it; but not finding him, they sought, and +perfectly perswaded Harriot could give intelligence of him, they +threatened her severely, and here she displayed herself in her proper +colours;--nothing ever behaved with greater impudence:--she told them, +that she knew nothing of the fool they wanted; but if she could find +him, would make him know what the obligations between them exacted +from him: in fine, it was easy for them to perceive, there was nothing +satisfactory to be obtained from her, and they departed with akeing +hearts, but left not the street without securing to their interest a +person in the neighbourhood, who promised to keep a continual eye upon +her door, and if they ever saw the young gentleman go in, to send them +immediate notice. + +It is needless to acquaint the reader how fruitless this precaution +was: Natura was far from any inclination ever more to enter that +detested house, and in that desponding humour, already mentioned, had +certainly left the kingdom, and compleated his utter undoing, if +Providence had not averted his design, by the most unexpected means. + +He was at Wapping, in the company of some persons who used the sea, in +order to get into some ship, he cared not in what station, when a +young man, clerk to an eminent merchant of his father's acquaintance, +happened to come in, to enquire after the master of a vessel, by whom +some goods belonging to his master were to be shipped: he had often +seen Natura, and though much altered by his late way of living, knew +him to be the person whom he had heard so great a search had been made +after: he took no notice of him however, as he found the other bent +earnestly in discourse did not observe him, but privately informed +himself of all he could relating to his business there, and as soon as +he came home acquainted his master with the discovery he had made, who +did not fail to let his father know it directly. + +It is hard to say, whether joy at hearing of his son, or grief at +hearing he was in so miserable a condition, was most predominant in +him; but the first emotions of both being a little moderated, the +consideration of what was to be done, took place:--the clerk having +found out that he was lodged in an obscure house at that place, in +order to get on board the first ship that sailed, the father would +needs go himself, and the merchant offering to accompany him in their +little journey, a plan of proceeding was formed between them, which +was executed in the following manner. + +They went together into a tavern, and sent to the house the clerk had +directed, under pretence, that hearing a young man was there who had +an inclination for the sea, a master of a ship would be glad to treat +with him on that affair.--Natura, happily for him, not having yet an +opportunity of engaging himself, obeyed the summons, and followed the +messenger:--his father withdrew into another room, but so near as to +hear what passed, and there was only the merchant to receive him; but +the sight of one he so little expected in that place, and whom he knew +was so intimate in their family, threw him into a most terrible +consternation. He started back, and had certainly quitted the house, +if the merchant, aware of his intention, had not catched hold of him, +and getting between him and the door, compelled him to sit down while +he talked to him. + +He began with asking what had induced him to think of leaving England +in the manner he was going to do;--reminded him of the estate to which +he was born, the family from which he was descended, and the education +which he had received; and then set before his eyes the tenderness +with which his father had used him, the grief to which he had exposed +him, and above all the madness of his present intentions:--Natura knew +all this as well as he that remonstrated to him; but as he had not +been capable of listening to his own reflections on that head, all +that was said had not the least effect upon him, and the merchant +could get no other answer from him, than that as things had happened, +he had no other course to take. + +The truth was, that as he could not imagine by what means the merchant +was apprized of his design, he thought his father was also not +ignorant of it; and as he did not vouchsafe either to come in person, +or send any message to him from himself, and perhaps was even ignorant +that the merchant had any intention of reclaiming him, he looked upon +it as a confirmation of his having intirely thrown off all care of +him, and in this supposition he became more resolute than ever in his +mind, to go where he never might be heard of more. + +'What though,' said the merchant, 'you have been guilty of some +youthful extravagancies, I am perfectly assured there requires no more +than your submitting to intreat forgiveness, to receive: come,' +continued he, 'I will undertake to be your mediator, and dare answer I +shall prevail.'--'No, sir,' replied Natura, 'I am conscious of having +offended beyond all possibility of a pardon;--nor can I ever bear to +see my father again.' + +The merchant laboured all he could to overcome this mingled pride and +shame, which he perceived was the only obstacle to his return to duty; +but to no purpose, Natura continued obstinate and inflexible, till his +father, having no longer patience to keep himself concealed, rushed +into the room, and looking on his son with a countenance which, in +spite of all the severity he had endeavoured to assume, betrayed only +tenderness and grief.--'So, young man,' said he, 'you think it then my +place to seek a reconciliation, and are perhaps too stubborn to accept +forgiveness, even though I should condescend to offer it.' + +Natura was so thunderstruck at the appearance of his father, and the +manner in which he accosted him, that he was far from being able to +speak one word, but threw himself at his feet, with a look which +testified nothing but confusion: that action, however, denoting that +he had not altogether forgot himself, melted the father's heart; he +raised him, and forcing him to sit down in a chair close by him; +'Well, Natura,' said he, 'you have been disobedient to an excess; I +wish it were possible for your distresses to have given you a remorse +in proportion;--I am still a _father_, if you can be a _son._'--He +would have proceeded, but was not able:--the meagre aspect, dejected +air, and wretched appearance of a son so dear to him, threw him into a +condition which destroyed all the power of maintaining that reserve +which he thought necessary to his character. + +Natura, on the other hand, was so overcome with the unhoped-for +gentleness of his behaviour, that he burst into a flood of +tears.--Filial gratitude and love, joined with the thoughts of what he +had done to deserve a far different treatment, so overwhelmed his +heart, that he could express himself no other way than by falling on +his knees a second time, and embracing the legs of his father, with a +transport, I know not whether to say of grief or joy; continued in +that posture for a considerable time, overwhelmed at once with shame, +with gratitude, and love:--at length, gaining the power of +utterance,--'O sir,' cried he, 'how unworthy am I of your +goodness!'--but then recollecting as it were somewhat more; 'yet +sure,' pursued he, 'it is not possible you can forgive me all.--I have +been guilty of worse than, perhaps, you yet have been informed of:--I +am a wretch who have devoted myself to infamy and destruction, and you +cannot, nay ought not to forgive me.' + +The father was indeed very much alarmed at this expression, as fearing +it imported his distresses had drove him to be guilty of some crime of +which the law takes cognizance.--'I hope,' said he, 'your having +signed a contract with an abandoned prostitute, is the worst action of +your life?' + +It is impossible to describe the pleasure with which Natura found his +father was apprized of this affair, without being obliged to relate it +himself, as he was now determined to have done:--all his obduracy +being now intirely vanquished, and converted into the most tender, +affectionate, and dutiful submission. + +'Can there be a worse?' replied he, renewing his embraces, 'and can +you know it, and yet vouchsafe to look on me as your son!'--'If your +penitence be sincere,' said the good old gentleman, 'I neither can, +nor ought refuse to pardon all:--but rise,' continued he, 'and freely +give this worthy friend and myself, the satisfaction we require;--a +full confession of all your misbehaviour, is the only attonement you +can make, and that I can expect from you:--remember I have signed your +pardon for all that is past, but shall not include in it any future +acts of disobedience, among which, dissimulation, evasion or +concealment, in what I demand to be laid open, I shall look upon as of +the worst and most incorrigible kind.' + +He needed not have laid so strong an injunction on the now truly +contrite Natura;--he disguised nothing of what he had done, even to +the mean arts of gaming, to which he had been obliged to have recourse +after his voluntary banishment from all his friends; and then painted +the horrors he conceived at the things he daily saw, and the despair +which had induced him to leave England, in such lively colours, that +not only his father, but the merchant, were affected by it, even to +the letting fall some tears. + +But not to be too tedious in this part of my narration, never was +there a more perfect reconciliation:--the father till now knew not how +much he loved his son, nor the son before felt half that dutiful +affection and esteem for his father. + +It now remained to conclude how the forgiven youth was to be +disposed:--there were two reasons which rendered it imprudent for him +to go home; first, on the score of his mother-in-law, who being better +informed than her husband could have wished, of the errors of his son, +he feared would have behaved to him in a fashion which, he easily +foresaw, would be attended with many inconveniences; even perhaps to +the driving him back into his late vicious courses; and secondly, on +that of the contract, which it would be more difficult to get Harriot +to relinquish, if Natura were known to be re-established in his +father's favour, than if concealed and supposed still in disgrace with +him.--The generous merchant made an offer of an apartment in his +house; but Natura, who had not seen his sister of a long time, +proposed a visit to her; as thinking the society of that dear and +prudent relation, would not only console, but establish him in virtue. + +The father listened to both, and after some little deliberation, told +his son, that he approved of his going to his sister for a month or +two, or three, at his own option; 'but,' said he, 'it is not fit a +young man like you should bury yourself for any long time in the +country;--you are now of a right age to travel, and I would have you +enlarge your understanding by the sight of foreign manners and +customs:--I would, therefore, have you make a short visit to my +daughter, after which, accept of my friend's invitation, and in the +mean time I shall prepare things proper for your making the tour of +Europe, under a governor who may keep you in due limits.' + +Had Natura never offended his father, the utmost he could have wished +from his indulgence, was a proposal of this kind:--he was in a perfect +extasy, and knew not how sufficiently to express his gratitude and +satisfaction; on talking, however, more particularly on the affair, it +was agreed he should go first to the merchant's, in order to be new +cloathed, and recover some part of those good looks his late dissolute +way of life had so much impaired. + +Every thing being settled so much to the advantage of Natura, even a +few hours made some alteration in his countenance; so greatly does the +ease of the mind contribute to the welfare of the body!--he parted not +till night from this indulgent parent, when he went home with the +merchant, and had the next day tradesmen of all kinds sent for, who +had orders to provide, in their several ways, every thing necessary +for a young gentleman born to the estate he was.--As youth is little +regardless of futurity, he forgot, for a time, what consequences might +possibly attend his contract with Harriot, and was as perfectly at +ease, as if no such thing had ever happened. When fully equipped, he +went down into that country where his sister lived, and if the least +thought of his former transactions remained in him, they were now +intirely dissipated, by the kind reception he there met with, and the +entertainments made for him by the neighbouring gentry. + +But his heart being bent on his travels, and receiving a letter from +his father, wherein he acquainted him that all things were ready for +his departure, he took leave of the country, after a stay of about +nine weeks, and returned to the merchant's, where his father soon came +to see him, and told him, he had provided a governor for him, who had +served several of the sons of the nobility in that capacity, and was +perfectly acquainted with the languages and manners of the countries +through which they were to pass. + +This tender parent moreover acquainted him, that having consulted the +lawyers, on the score of that unhappy obligation he had laid himself +under to Harriot, and finding they had given it as their assured +opinion, that it was drawn up in the most binding and authentic +manner, he had offered that creature a hundred guineas to give up her +claim; but she had obstinately rejected his proposal, and seemed +determined to compel him to the performance of his contract; or in +case he married any other woman, to prosecute him for the moiety of +whatever portion he should receive with her. + +The mention of this woman, who had given Natura so much disquiet, and +who indeed had been the primary cause of all his follies and +misfortunes, together with the thoughts of what future inconveniencies +she might involve him in, both on the account of his fortune and +reputation, made him relapse into his former agitations, and +afterwards rendered him extremely pensive, and he could not forbear +crying out, that he would chuse rather to abandon England for ever, +and, pass the whole remainder of his days in foreign climates, than +yield to become the prey any way of so wicked, so infamous a wretch, +'whom,' said he, 'I shall never think on, without hating myself for +having ever loved.' + +The good-natured merchant, as well as his father, perceiving these +reflections began to take too much root in him, joined in endeavouring +to alleviate the asperity of them, by telling him, that it was their +opinion, as indeed it seemed highly probable, that when he was once +gone, she would be more easily prevailed upon; especially as the +reconciliation between him and his father was to be kept an inviolable +secret. The old gentleman also added, in order to make him easy, that +how exorbitant soever she might be in her demands, and whatever it +should cost, though it were the half of his estate, he would rid him +of the contract; which second proof of paternal affection, renewed in +Natura, as well it might, fresh sentiments of love, joy, and duty; and +the same promise being again and again reiterated, he soon resumed his +former chearfulness, and thought of nothing but the new scenes he was +going to pass through. + +In fine, not many days elapsed before he departed, with his governor +and one footman, who had been an antient servant in the family.--As +their first route was to France, they went in the Dover stage, and +thence embarked for Calais, without any thing material happening, +except it were, that on sight of the ocean, Natura was fired with a +devout rhapsody at the thoughts of finding himself upon it, in a +manner so vastly different from that in which, but a few months since, +his despair had led him to project; and the resolution he made within +himself never to be guilty of any thing hereafter, which should +occasion a blush on his own face, or incur the displeasure of a +father, to whom he looked upon himself as much more indebted, for the +forgiveness he had received, than for being the author of his +existence. + +So great an effect has mercy and benevolence over a heart not hardened +by a long practice of vice! How far Natura persevered in these good +intentions, we shall hereafter see; but the very ability of forming +them, shews that there is a native gratitude and generosity in the +human mind, which, in spite of the prevalence of unruly passions, +will, at sometimes, shine forth, even in the most thoughtless and +inconsiderate. + + + + + + +BOOK the Second. + + + + +CHAP. I. + + The inconsideration and instability of youth; when unrestrained by + authority, is here exemplified, in an odd adventure Natura embarked + in with two nuns, after the death of his governor. + + +Novelty has charms for persons of all ages, but more especially in +youth, when manhood is unripened by maturity, when all the passions +are afloat, and reason not sufficiently established in her throne by +experience and reflection, the mind is fluctuating, easily carried +down the stream of every different inclination that invites, and +seldom or never has a constant bent. + +From seventeen or eighteen to one or two and twenty, I look upon to be +that season of life in which all the errors we commit, will admit of +most excuse, because we are then at an age to think ourselves men, +without the power of acting as becomes reasonable men. It was in the +midst of this dangerous time, that Natura set out in order to make the +tour of Europe, and his governor dying soon after their arrival in +Paris, our young traveller was left to himself, and at liberty to +pursue whatever he had a fancy for. + +The death of this gentleman was in effect a very great misfortune to +Natura; but as at his time of life we are all too apt to be impatient +under any restraint, tho' never so mild and reasonable, he did not +consider it in that light; and therefore less lamented his loss, than +his good nature would have made him do, had he been the companion of +his travels in any other station than that of governor, the very name +of which implied a right of direction over his behaviour, and a power +delegated by his father of circumscribing every thing he did. I +believe, whoever looks back upon himself at that age, will be +convinced by the retrospect, that there was nothing wonderful in +Natura's imagining he had now discretion enough to regulate his +conduct, without being under the controul of any person whatever; and +could not, for that reason, be much afflicted at being eased of a +subordination not at all agreeable to his humour, and which he thought +he had not the least occasion for. + +The baron d' Eyrac had often invited him to pass some days with him, +at a fine villa he had about some ten leagues from Paris; but his +governor not having approved that visit, he had hitherto declined +it.--He now, however, took it into his head to go, and as the distance +was so short, went on horseback, attended by his footman, with a +portmanteau containing some linnen and cloaths, his intention being to +remain there while the baron stayed, which, as he was informed, would +be three weeks, or a month;--it being then the season for hunting, and +that part of the country well suited for the diversion. + +He had been on a party of pleasure a considerable way on this road +before, so thought he had no occasion for a guide, and that he should +easily be directed to the house; but it so happened that being got +about twenty miles from Paris he missed his route, and took one the +direct contrary, and which at last brought him to the entrance of a +very thick wood:--there was not the least appearance of any human +creature, nor the habitation of one, and he was beginning to consult +with his servant whether to go back, or proceed till they should +arrive at some town or village for refreshment, when all at once there +fell the most terrible shower of hail and rain, accompanied with +thunder, that ever was heard;--this determined them to go into the +wood for shelter:--the storm continued till night, and it was then so +dark, that they could distinguish nothing:--they wandered, however, +leading their horses in their hands, for it was impossible to ride, +hoping to find some path, by which they might extricate themselves out +of that horrid labyrinth. + +Some hours were passed in this perplexed situation, and Natura +expected no better than to remain there till morning, when he heard a +voice at a little distance, cry, 'Who goes there?' Never had any music +been half so pleasing to the ears of Natura. 'Friends,' replied he, +'and travellers, that have lost their way.' On this the person who had +spoke, drew nearer, and asked whither they were bent. Natura told him +to the villa of the baron d' Eyrac. 'The baron d' Eyrac,' said the +other, 'he lives twelve miles on the other side the wood, and that is +five miles over.'--He then asked if there were no town near, to which +he could direct them.--'No,' replied the other, 'but there is a little +village where is one inn, and that is above half a league off:--you +will never find your way to it; but if you will pay me, I will guide +you.' Natura wished no more, and having agreed with him for his hire, +followed where he led. + +Nothing that was ever called an inn, had so much the shew of +wretchedness; nor could it be expected otherwise, for being far from +any great road, it was frequented only by shepherds, and others the +meanest sort of peasants, who worked in the adjacent grounds, or +tended the cattle. + +In this miserable place was Natura obliged to take up his lodging:--he +lay down, indeed, on the ragged dirty mattress, but durst not take off +his cloaths, so noisome was every thing about him:--fatigued as he +was, he could not close his eyes till towards day, but had not slept +above two hours before the peasant who had served him as a guide, and +had also stayed at the inn, came into his room, and waked him +abruptly, telling him the lady abbess desired to speak with +him.--Natura was much vexed at this disturbance, and not sufficiently +awaked to recollect himself, only cried peevishly, 'What have I to do +with abbesses,' and then turned to sleep again. + +On his second waking, his footman acquainted him, that a priest waited +to see him:--Natura then remembered what the peasant had said, but +could not conceive what business these holy people had with him; he +went down however immediately, and was saluted by a reverend +gentleman, who told him, that the lady abbess of a neighbouring +monastery (whose almoner he was) hearing from one of her shepherds the +distress he had been in, had sent to intreat he would come, and +refresh himself with what her convent afforded. + +Natura was now ashamed of having been so rough with the peasant, but +well atoned for it by the handsome apology he now made; after which he +told the almoner, that he would receive the abbess's commands as soon +as he was in a condition to be seen by her.--This was what good +manners exacted from him, tho' in truth he had no inclination for a +visit, in which he proposed so little satisfaction. + +He then made his servant open the portmanteau, and give him such +things as were proper to equip him for this visit; and while he was +dressing, was informed by his host, that this abbess was a woman of +quality, very rich, and owned the village they were in, and several +others, which brought her in more rent. + +If the vanity so natural to a young heart, made Natura, on this +information, pleased and proud of the consideration such a lady had +for him while unknown, how much more cause had he to be so, when being +shewn by the same peasant into the monastery, he was brought into a +parlour, magnificently furnished, and no sooner had sat down, than a +very beautiful woman, whom he soon found was the lady abbess, appeared +behind the grate, and welcomed him with the most elegant compliments. + +He had never been in a monastery before, and had a notion that all the +nuns, especially the abbesses, were ill-natured old women: he was +therefore so much surprized at the sight of this lady, that he had +scarce power to return the politeness she treated him with.--Her age +exceeded not twenty-four; she was fair to an excess, had fine-turned +features, and an air which her ecclesiastic habit could not deprive of +its freedom; but the enchanting manner of her conversation, her wit, +and the gaiety that accompanied all she said, so much astonished and +transported him, that he cried out, without knowing that he did so, +'Good God!--is it possible a monastery can contain such charms!'--She +affected to treat the admiration he expressed, as no other than meer +bagatelle; but how serious a satisfaction she took in it, a very +little time discovered. + +'A monastery,' said she, 'is not so frightful a solitude as you, being +a stranger to the manners of this country, have perhaps painted to +yourself:--I have companions in whom I believe you will find some +agreements.'--She then rung a bell, and ordered an attending nun, or +what they call a lay-sister, to call some of the sisterhood, whose +names she mentioned; and presently came two nuns, with a third lady in +a different habit; the least handsome of these might have passed for a +beauty, but she that was the most so I shall call Elgidia; she was +sister to the abbess, but wanted a good many of her years, and being +intended for a monastic life by their parents, had been sent there as +a pensioner, till she should be prevailed upon to take the veil. + +The abbess, having learned from Natura that he was from England, told +them, in a few words, what she knew of him, and the motive of the +invitation she had made him; then desired they would entertain him +till her return, having some affair, which called her thence for a +small time. + +As Elgidia appeared by her dress to be more a woman of this world than +her companions, he directed his discourse chiefly to her; but whether +it were that she had less gaiety in her temper, or that she was that +moment taken up with some very serious thought, Natura could not be +certain, but he found her much less communicative, than either of +those, whose profession seemed to exact greater reserve. + +As Natura spoke French perfectly well, and delivered all he said with +a great deal of ease, they were very much pleased with his +conversation; and yet more so, when, at the return of the abbess, that +wit and spirit they before found in him, seemed to have gained an +additional vigour. + +The truth is, the first sight of this beautiful abbess had very much +struck him; and a certain prepossession in her favour, had rendered +him not so quick-sighted as he might otherwise have been to the charms +of her sister:--not that he was absolutely in love with her, nor +entertained the least wish in prejudice to the sanctity of her order; +it was rather an _admiration_ he was possessed with on her account, +which the surprize, at finding her person and manner so widely +different from what he had expected, contributed very much to excite +in him. + +The breakfast, which consisted of chocolate, tea, coffee, rich cakes, +and sweetmeats, was served upon the Turnabout; but the abbess told +him, that their monastery had greater privileges than any other in +France; for they were not restrained from entertaining their kindred +and friends, tho' of a different sex, within the grate; 'as you shall +experience,' said she, with the most obliging air, 'if you will favour +us with your company at dinner.' + +Nothing could be more pleasing to Natura than this invitation, and it +cannot, therefore, be supposed he hesitated much to comply with it; +however, as the hour of their devotion drew nigh, and forms must be +observed, he was desired to take a tour round about the village till +twelve, at which time they told him dinner would be on the table. + +He was still in so much amazement at what he had seen and heard, that +he was not sorry at having an opportunity of being alone, to reflect +on all had passed; but the deeper he entered into thought, the more +strange it still seemed to him; till happening accidentally to fall +into some discourse with a gentleman in the village, he was told by +him, that the nunnery they were in sight of, was called, Le Convent de +Riche Dames; that none but women of condition entered themselves into +it, and that they enjoyed liberties little different from those that +live in the world:--'It is true,' said this person, 'the gay manner in +which they behave, has drawn many reflections on their order, yet I +know not but they may be equally innocent with those of the most +rigid.' + +This was enough to shew Natura, that the civilities he received, were +only such as any stranger, who appeared of some rank, might be treated +with, as well as himself; and served to abate that little vanity +which, without this information, might have gained ground in his +heart; at least it did so for the present: what reasons he founds +afterwards for the indulging it, the reader will anon be enabled to +judge. + +He was not, however, without a good deal of impatience for the hour +appointed for his return, which being arrived, the portress admitted +him into a fine room behind the grate, where he found the abbess, +Elgidia, the two nuns he had seen in the morning, and another, which, +it seems, were all the abbess thought proper should be present. + +The table was elegantly served, and the richness of the wines, helped +very much to exhilerate the spirits of the company.--Elgidia alone +spoke little, tho' what she said was greatly to the purpose, and +discovered that it was not for want either of sentiment or words she +retained so great a taciturnity.--Natura saying somewhat, that shewed +he took notice how singular she was in this point, the abbess replied, +that her sister did not like a convent, that the comedy, the opera, +and ball, had more charms for her than devotion. On which Natura made +some feint attempts to justify a goute for those public diversions, +but was silenced by the abbess, who maintained the only true +felicities of life were religion and friendship. 'What then do you +make of love, madam?' cried he briskly: 'love, the first command of +Heaven, and the support of this great universe:--love, which gives a +relish to every other joy, and'--he was going on, but the abbess +interrupted him, 'Hold!--Hold!' said she, 'this is not a discourse fit +for these sacred precincts.'--But these words were uttered in a sound, +and accompanied with a look, which wholly took away their austerity, +and it was easy for Natura to perceive by the manner in which they +were spoke, as well as by a sigh, which escaped Elgidia at the same +time, that neither of these ladies were in reality enemies to the +passion he was defending. + +Some little time after dinner was over, Natura was about to take his +leave; but the abbess told him, that she had formed a design to punish +him for pretending to espouse the cause of love; 'and that is,' said +she, 'by detaining you in a place, where you must never speak, nor +hear a word, in favour of it':--'we have,' continued she, 'a little +apartment adjoining to the monastery, tho' not in it, which serves to +accommodate such friends as visit us, and are too far from home to +return the same day:--you must not refuse to pass at least one night +in it; and I dare promise you, that you will not find yourself worse +lodged, than the preceding one:--your servant may also lie in the same +house, and I will send your horses to a neighbouring farmer; who will +take care of them.' + +The manner in which this request was urged, had somewhat in it too +obliging, for Natura to have denied, in good manners, even if his +inclinations had been opposite; but indeed he was too much charmed +with the conversation of the lovely abbess, and her fair associates, +to be desirous of quitting it.--He not only stayed that night, but +also, on their continuing to ask it, many succeeding ones.--He lay in +the apartment above-mentioned, breakfasted, dined, and supped in the +convent, as if a pensioner in the place, always in the same company, +and ambitious of no other. + +The gallantries with which he treated the abbess, were as tender as +innocence would permit; nor did he presume to harbour any views of +being happier with her than he was at present. + +But see! the strange caprice of love! It was not through a coldness of +constitution, nor any confederations of her quality and function, +which rendered him so content with enjoying no more of her than her +conversation; nor that hindered him from taking advantage of many +advances she made him, whenever they were alone, of becoming more +particular; but it was the progress Elgidia every day made in his +esteem:--the more he saw that beautiful young lady, the more he +thought her charming; and every time she spoke discovered to him a new +fund of wit, and sweetness of disposition:--it was not in her power to +erase the first impression her sister had made on him, but it was to +stop the admiration he had for her from growing up into a +passion:--whenever he saw either of them alone, he thought her most +amiable he was with; and when they were together, he was divided +between both. + +For upwards of a month did he continue in the same place, and in the +same situation of mind; but then either the abbess's own good sense, +or the advice of some friend, remonstrating to her, that so long a +stay of a young gentleman, who was known to be not of her kindred, +might occasion discourses to her disreputation, and that of the +monastery in general; she took the opportunity one day, when he was +making an offer of going, as he frequently did, to speak to him in +this manner: + +'I know not how,' said she, 'to part with you, and I flatter myself +you think of going, rather because you imagine your tarrying here for +any length of time, might be inconvenient for us, than because you are +tired of the reception you have found here.' + +'Ah madam!' cried he, 'be assured I could live for ever here;--and +that I only grieve that such a hope is impossible.--If what you now +say is sincere,' answered she, 'you may at least prolong the happiness +we at present enjoy:--but I shall put you to the proof,' continued +she, looking on him with eyes in which the most eager passion was +visibly painted,--'to hush the tongue of censure, you shall remove to +a town about seven miles distant, where there are many good houses, in +one of which you may lodge, under pretence of liking the air of this +country, and visit us, as other of our friends do, as frequently as +you please, without endangering any remarks, even though you should +stay with us three or four nights at a time.' + +Natura was so ravished at this proposal, and the kind, almost fond +manner, in which it was made, that he catched hold of her hand, and +kissed it, with a vehemence not conformable to a Platonic +affection:--she seemed, however, far from being offended at his +boldness, which had perhaps proceeded to greater lengths, had not +Elgidia at that instant come into the room.--The abbess was a little +disconcerted, but to conceal it as well as she could, 'sister,' said +she, 'I have made our guest the proposal I mentioned to you this +morning, and leave you to second it': with these words she withdrew. + +Elgidia appeared in little less confusion than her sister had done; +but Natura was in infinitely more than either of them.--The sudden +sight of her who possessed at least half of his affections, just in +the moment he was in a kind of rapture with another, struck him like +the ghost of a departed mistress; and tho' he had never made any +declaration of love either to the one or the other, yet his heart +reproached him with a secret perfidy, and he durst scarce lift his +eyes to her face, when with a timid voice he at last said, 'Madam, may +I hope you take any interest in what your sister has been speaking +of?'--'You may be sure I do,' replied she, 'in all that concerns the +abbess; as to my farther sentiments on your staying or going, they can +be of no consequence to you.'--'How, madam!' resumed he, by this time +a little re-assured, 'of no consequence! You know nothing of my heart, +if you know it not incapable of forming the least wish but to please +you.' + +He said many other tender and gallant things to her, in order to +engage her to add her commands to those of the abbess; but, either the +belief that he was wholly devoted to that lady, or the natural reserve +of her temper, would suffer her to let him draw no more from her, than +that she should share in the happiness her sister proposed to herself, +in his continuing so near them. + +But tho' Elgidia could command her words, she could not have so much +power over her eyes as to keep them from betraying a tenderness not +inferior to that of her sister; and Natura had the satisfaction of +finding he was beloved by both these amiable women, without thinking +himself so far attached to either, as not to be able to break off +whenever he pleased. + +But to what end tended all this gallantry! to what purpose was all +this waste of time, in an amour, which either had no aim in view, or +if it had, must be such a one, as must turn to the confusion of the +persons concerned in it!--These indeed are questions any one might +naturally ask, but could not have been resolved by Natura, who took a +pleasure in prosecuting the adventure, and neither examined what he +proposed by it himself, or considered what consequences might ensue; +and herein he but acted as most others do of his age, who rarely give +themselves the pains of consulting what _may_, or _will be_, when +pleased with what _is_. + +He went to the place the abbess had directed, but imagined he should +be very much at a loss for amusement, being wholly a stranger to every +body. He would doubtless have been so, had his retreat been in any +other country than France; but as it is the peculiar characteristic of +that nation to entertain at first sight with the same freedom and +communicativeness of a long acquaintance, he soon found himself +neither without company nor diversion:--whether he had an inclination +to hunt, or dance, or play, he always met with persons ready to join +in the party, so that the intervals he passed there, between his +visits to the monastery, seemed not at all tedious to him. + +The ladies, however, were far from being forgotten by him; ten days +had not elapsed, before he returned to renew, or rather to improve, +the impression he had both given and received.--The abbess appeared +all life and spirit at his return, but Elgidia was more melancholly +than when he left her; but it was a melancholly which had in it +somewhat of a soft languor, which was very engaging to Natura, +especially as he had reason to believe, by several looks and +expressions, which in some unguarded moments fell from her, that he +had the greatest interest in it. + +The oftener he saw her, the more he was confirmed in this conjecture; +but as he could not be assured of it, never treated her in a manner +which should give her room to guess what his thoughts were, for fear +of meeting with a rebuff, which would have been too mortifying to his +vanity:--but as the belief of being beloved by her, rendered her +insensibly more dear to him; the regards he paid her, and the sighs +which frequently issued from his breast when he approached her, did +not escape the notice of the quick-sighted abbess; and disdaining a +competitorship in a heart she thought she had wholly engrossed, +resolved to be more plain than hitherto she had been, in order to +bring him to declare himself. + +With this view she led him one day into the garden, and being seated in +a close arbour, where there was no danger of being overheard,--'Natura,' +said she, 'I doubt not but you may perceive, by the civilities I have +treated you with, that you are not indifferent to me; but as you cannot +be sensible to how great a degree my regard for you extends, it remains +that I confess to you there is but one thing wanting to compleat the +intire conquest of my heart'; 'and that is,' continued she, fixing her +eyes intently on his face, 'that you will cease for the future to pay +those extraordinary assiduities to Elgidia you have lately done.' + +How much soever Natura was transported at the beginning of this +discourse, the closure of it gave him an inexpressible shock, insomuch +that he was wholly unable to make any reply, to testify the sense he +had of the obligation she conferred on him. 'I see,' said she, 'the +too great influence my sister has over you leaves me no room to hope +any thing from you:--I did not think the sacrifice I exacted from you +so great, that the purchase of my heart would not have atoned for it; +but since I find it is otherwise, I repent I put you to the trial.' + +In speaking these words she rose up, and flew out of the arbour: the +confusion Natura was in, prevented him from endeavouring to detain +her; and before he could resolve with himself how to behave in so +critical a conjuncture, she was out of sight.--Whatever tenderness he +had for the other, he could not bear the thoughts of having offended +this lady: the confession she had just made him, seemed to deserve all +his gratitude; and tho' the price she demanded for her heart was too +excessive for him to comply with, yet he resolved to make his peace +with her the first time he found her alone, on the best terms he +could. + +This was an opportunity, however, not so easily attained as he had +imagined:--the abbess conceived so much spite at the little +inclination he had testified to comply with her demand, that she kept +one or other of the nuns with her the whole remainder of that day, and +he could only tell her by his eyes how desirous he was of coming to an +eclaircisement. + +But as if this was a day destined to produce nothing but extraordinary +events, perceiving the abbess industriously avoided speaking to him, +he had retired into the parlour to ruminate on the affair, when +Elgidia came in to him, and with somewhat more gaiety than she was +accustomed to, cried, 'What, alone, Natura! but I suppose you attend +my sister, and I will not be any interruption'; and then turned to go +out of the room. All the discontent he was in for the displeasure he +found he had given the abbess, could not keep him from getting between +her and the door:--'I have no other way to convince you of the +injustice of your suspicion,' said he, 'than to detain you here; tho' +perhaps,' added he, looking on her with an unfeigned tenderness, +'while I am clearing myself in one article, it may not be in my power +to prevent betraying my guilt in another, which it may be you will +find yet less worthy of forgiveness.' + +'I know not,' replied she, with a smile too enchanting to be resisted, +'that I ever gave you any tokens of a rigid disposition; and besides, +I am inclined to have so good an opinion of you, that I look on your +giving me any cause of offence, as one of the things out of your +power.' + +Emboldened by these words, 'Suppose, madam,' returned he, 'I should +confess to you that I was indulging the most passionate tenderness for +the beautiful Elgidia!--that her sweet idea is always present with me, +and that I sometimes am presuming enough to cherish the hopes of not +being hated by her':--'tell me,' continued he, 'what punishment does +this criminal deserve?' + +'To be treated in the same manner,' answered she blushing, 'if he is +sincere; and to be made know that he cannot have formed any designs +upon the heart of Elgidia, which Elgidia has not equally harboured +upon that of Natura.'--A declaration so unexpected might very well +transport a young man, even beyond himself, and all considerations +whatever:--forgetful of the respect due to her quality and virtue, and +regardless of the place they were in, he seized her in his arms, and +almost smothered her with kisses, before she could disengage herself; +at length, breaking from him, 'It is not by such testimonies as +these,' said she, 'that I expected you should repay the acknowledgment +I have made; but by a full laying open your bosom, as to what passes +in it, in regard to my sister:--I know very well she loves you, and am +apt to believe she has not been more discreet than myself in +concealing it from you; but am altogether at a loss as to the returns +you may have made her passion.' + +Natura now really loving her, hesitated not to do as she desired; +neither making any secret of the admiration which the abbess had +raised in him at first sight, nor the discourse she had lately +entertained him with, and the injunction she had laid upon him. +Elgidia took this as so great a proof of his affection, that she made +no scruple to ratify the confession she had made him by all the +endearments that innocence would permit:--after which, they consulted +together how he should behave to the abbess, whose temper being +violent, it was not proper to drive to extremes; and it was therefore +agreed between them, that he should continue to treat her with a shew +of tenderness: Elgidia even proposed, that he should renounce her, in +case the other continue to insist upon it; but Natura could not +consent his insincerity should go so far. + +They parted, mutually content with each other; and Natura himself +believed his inclinations were now fixed, by the assurance Elgidia had +given him of the most true and perfect passion that ever was: but how +little do we know of our own hearts at his years! the next time he saw +the abbess alone, he relapsed into the same fluctuating state as +before, and found too much charms in the kindness she expressed for +him, to be able to withdraw himself intirely from her. + +That lady, who loved to an excess, could not be any long time without +affording him the means of reconciliation; and the next morning, as +soon as breakfast was over, descended alone into the garden, giving +him a look at the same time, which commanded him to follow:--he did +so, and perceiving she took her way to the same arbour they had been +in before, he went in soon after her, affecting, rather than feeling, +a timidity in approaching her. 'Well, Natura,' said she, 'have you yet +examined your heart sufficiently, to know whether the full possession +of mine, can atone for your breaking with my sister';--to which he +replied, that as he had no engagements with Elgidia, nor had ever any +other thoughts of her, than such as were excited by that respect due +to her sex and rank, he was wholly ignorant in what manner it was +exacted from him to behave:--'but,' added he, 'if vowing that from the +first moment I beheld your charms, I became absolutely devoted to you, +may deserve any part of that affection you are pleased to flatter me +with, I am ready to give you all the assurances in the power of +words.' + +This asseveration could not be called altogether false, because he had +really a latent inclination in him towards her, which all the +tenderness he had for Elgidia could not eradicate; and this it was +that gave all he said such an air of sincerity as won upon the abbess, +to believe her jealousy had misinterpreted the looks she had sometimes +seen him give her sister, and at length made her desist from +reproaching him on that score. + +The tranquility of her mind being restored, she gave a loose to the +violence of her passion, in such caresses as might well make the +person who received them forgetful of all other obligations:--in these +transporting moments the lovely abbess had his whole soul:--he now, +unasked, abjured not only Elgidia, but all the sex beside, and even +wondered at himself for having ever entertained a wish beyond the +happiness he enjoyed at present. + +The abbess was too well versed in the affairs of love, not to be +highly satisfied with the proofs he gave of his, than which, it is +certain, nothing for the time could be more sincere or ardent; death +was it to them both to put an end to this inchanting scene, but as +they were seen to go into the garden soon after one another, and too +long a stay together might occasion a suspicion of the cause, they +were obliged to separate, though not without a promise of meeting in +the same place at night, after the nuns were all retired to their +respective chambers. + +The abbess passed through a back-way into the chapel, it being near +the time of prayers, and Natura returned by the great walk into the +outward cloister, where Elgidia seeing him at a distance, and alone, +waited his coming, to know of him how he had proceeded with her +sister.--Natura, yet full of the abbess and the favours he had +received from her, would have gladly dispenced with this interview; +but she was too near, before he perceived her, for him to draw back +with decency. + +Far from suspecting any change in him, and judging of his integrity by +her own, 'I was impatient,' said she, 'to hear the event of your +conversation with the abbess; tell me therefore in a few words, for +the bell rings to chapel, whether you have succeeded so far as to +stifle all jealousies of me?' 'Yes, madam,' replied he, recovering +himself as well as he could from his confusion, 'we may be easy for +the future, as to that particular.'--'I long for the particulars of +your discourse' resumed she, 'but cannot now stay to be informed; meet +me in the garden after the sisterhood are in bed'; 'this,' continued +she, putting a key into his hand, 'will admit you by the gate that +leads to the road:--do not fail to be there at nine.'--The haste she +was in to be gone, would not have permitted him time to make any +answer, if he had been provided with one, and he could only just kiss +her hand as she turned from him. + +But what was the dilemma he was now involved in! the hour, and place +she appointed, were the very same in which he was to meet the abbess! +impossible was it for him to gratify both, and not very easy to +deceive either:--he went back into the garden, ruminating what course +he should take in so intricate an affair; at first he thought of +writing a little billet, and slipping it into Elgidia's hand, +acquainting her that the abbess had commanded him to attend her in the +garden at the time she mentioned, and telling her that he thought it +necessary to obey, to prevent all future suspicion:--but he rejected +this design, not only as that young lady might possibly have the +curiosity to conceal herself behind the arbour, and would then be a +witness of things it was no way proper she should be informed of, but +also because his heart reproached him for having already done more +than he could answer, and forbad him to deceive her any farther; in +fine, that he might be guilty of perfidy to neither, he resolved to +quit both, at least for that night, but knew not yet on what he should +determine for the future. + +Divine service being over, he repaired to the parlour, where, after +they were sat down to dinner, he said, addressing himself to the +abbess, that having sent his servant that morning to his lodgings, he +had received letters of the utmost importance, which required +immediate answers; and that he must be obliged for that reason to take +his leave; 'though with what regret,' added he, 'it is easy to +perceive, by the long stay I always make here.' + +The abbess insisted upon it, that he should not go;--told him he might +write what he pleased there without interruption; and that his man +might carry his dispatches to the post: but all she urged could not +prevail, and both that lady and her sister had the mortification to +hear him give orders that his own horse should be got ready with all +expedition; as for his servant he was left behind for a few hours, on +the account of packing up some things he had brought him in the design +of staying a longer time. + +In fine, he went away, with a promise of returning in a short time. +The abbess was inwardly fretted at the disappointment, but imagined it +was only occasioned by the motive he pretended, till a young nun who +was her confidante in all things, and had happened to cross the +cloyster when Natura and Elgidia were talking together before prayers, +and had seen him kiss her hand, informed her of this passage, and +added, of her own conjecture, that the abrupt departure of Natura was +owing to somewhat that lady had said to him:--there needed no more to +inflame the passionate and jealous abbess; she doubted not of being +betrayed, and flew directly to her sister's chamber, accused her of +being guilty of the most criminal intercourse with a stranger, and +threatened if she did not confess the whole truth to her, and swear +never to see him more, she would send an account of her behaviour to +their parents, who would not fail to thrust her into a less commodious +convent, and compel her to take the veil directly. + +The mild and timid disposition of Elgidia, could not sustain this +shock; she immediately fainted away, and help being called to bring +her to herself, in opening her bosom a paper fell out of it, which the +abbess snatching up, ran to her chamber to examine, and found it +contained these words: + + 'To prevent my dear angel from being surprized at my sudden + departure, know that it is to avoid the abbess, who obliged me to + give her a promise of meeting her this night in the garden:--at my + next visit you shall be informed at full of all that passed + between us in the morning. Adieu. + + Natura. + +As Natura had no opportunity to make an excuse to Elgidia, he had +slipt this billet into her hand on taking leave; and though no more +was meant by it than to make her easy till his return, there was +sufficient in the expression not only to convince the abbess that her +sister was indeed her rival, but also to make her think herself had +been the dupe to their amour.--Impossible would it be to describe the +force of those passions, which, in this dreadful instant, overwhelmed +her soul; so I shall only say, it was as great as woman could sustain, +and which the impatience of venting on their proper object, put it +into her head to go to him in a disguise, and upbraid his perfidy. As +she seldom listened to any dictates, but those of her passion, this +design was no sooner formed than preparations were made for the +execution, nor could all her confidante urged, on the danger and +scandal of the attempt, deter her from it. + +There was a fellow who was frequently employed about the monastery, in +whom she could confide:--him she sent to a farmer, with orders to hire +three horses, one for herself, another for her confidante, who, in +spite of all her apprehensions on that account, she would needs make +accompany her, and the third for the man, who was to attend them as a +valet, the little road they had to travel. This fellow was directed to +bring the horses about ten o'clock at night, at which time it would be +dark, to the corner of a wall at the farther end of the garden, when +she and her companion were to mount, and away on this wild expedition. + +But while the abbess was busy on her project, Elgidia had also +another, though of somewhat a less desperate kind; her sister's temper +gave her but too much reason to believe she would revenge herself on +her by all the ways in her power; and trembling at the thoughts of +being exposed to her parents, and the censure of the world, as the +other had threatened, which she knew no way to avoid, but by Natura +making up this quarrel; and tho' she knew it could only be done by his +renouncing all pretensions to herself, yet she rather chose to lose +the man she loved, than her reputation. As she knew not whether the +abbess would delay the gratification of her malice any longer than the +next morning, she resolved to send for Natura that same night, in +order to engage him to a second reconciliation with her sister, let +the terms be never so cruel to herself. + +She had no sooner laid this plot, than she ran to see if the servant +he had left behind was yet gone, and finding he was not, bad him wait +a little, that she might send a letter by him to his master. The +contents of her epistle were as follow: + + 'Something has happened, which lays me under a necessity of + speaking to you this night:--the only consolation I have under the + severest of all afflictions, is, that I did not take back the key + I gave you in the morning: I beg you will make use of it, and let + me find you in the close arbour as soon as the darkness will + permit your entrance unobserved:--fail not, if you have any regard + for the honour, the peace, and even the life of the unfortunate + + Elgidia. + +Natura had no sooner received this billet from the hands of his +servant, than all his tenderness for the fair authoress of it revived +in him, which, joined to his impatient curiosity for the knowledge of +the accident she mentioned, easily determined him to do as she +desired. + +He set out at the close of day; but the moon rising immediately after, +shone so extremely bright as proved her, no less than the sun, an +enemy to the design he was at present engaged in; he was therefore +obliged to wait till that planet had withdrawn her light, before he +durst approach the convent. + +The abbess and her companion having dressed themselves in riding +habits, went at the above-mentioned hour to the gate where they +expected the man and horses were attending their coming; but there was +not the least appearance of any.--the abbess, emboldened by her +impatience and despair, would needs venture out some paces beyond the +gate, to listen if she could hear any sound of what she wanted, but +had not long continued in that posture, before she discovered by the +twinkling light of the stars, two men on horseback, galloping directly +to the place where she stood:--impossible was it for her to discern +what sort of persons they were, but easy to know, as there were two +men, and no more than two horses, that they were not those she looked +for; on which she ran with all the haste she could back into the +garden, and clapping the gate after her, in her fright stopped not +till she was almost at the entrance of the cloyster:--both she and her +companion were out of breath; but when they had a little recovered it, +the latter took the liberty of railying her on the terror she had been +in, at the sight of two persons, who were, doubtless, only pursuing +their own affairs, without any thought or notice of them:--the abbess +acknowledged the pleasantry was just, and returned again to the gate, +which having opened, they found two horses tied to a tree, at a little +distance from it, without any person to look after them. She imagined +they belonged to the farmer, but could not guess wherefore there was +not a third, or how it happened that the man was not with them.--The +two lady-adventurers waited in hopes of seeing their attendant with +another horse, till the abbess, fearing the night would be too far +spent for the execution of her design, and grown quite wild with rage +and vexation, resolved to go without a guide; and accordingly she, and +the young nun that was with her, mounted the horses they found there, +and rode away. + +Little did this distracted woman imagine to whom she was indebted for +the means of conveying herself where she wished to be; for in effect +these horses were Natura's, and it was no other than himself, attended +by his man, who had put her into that fright, which occasioned her +running so far back into the garden, as gave him time to enter, +without being either seen or heard by her:--he was no sooner within +the gate, than his servant tied the horses to a tree, as has been +related, and retired to a more convenient place, either to lye down to +sleep, or on some other occasion.--Thus did an accident which had like +to have broken all Elgidia's measures, turn wholly to the advantage of +them, and she found as much satisfaction, as a person in her situation +could possibly take, in finding Natura so punctual to the summons she +had sent: + +It was with a flood of tears she related to him all that had passed +between the furious abbess and herself after his departure, and +concluded her discourse with beseeching him to see her in the morning, +and omit nothing that might pacify her, 'even,' said she, 'to forswear +ever speaking to me more.' + +Natura was touched to the very soul at the grief he saw her in, and +equally with the tender consideration she had for him; and now more +devoted to her than ever, would have done any thing to prove the +sincerity of his passion, but that which she demanded of him:--it was +in vain she urged the impossibility of keeping a correspondence +together under the same roof with a rival who had all the power in her +own hands; or that she represented how much better it would be for +both to break off so dangerous an intercourse of themselves, before +the rage of the abbess should put her upon doing it, in a manner which +might involve them all in destruction:--all the arguments she made use +of, only served to render him more amorous, and consequently less able +to part with her.--The difference he found between these two sisters; +the outrageous temper of the one, compared with the prudence, +sweetness, and gentleness of the other, rendered the comparison almost +odious to him; and as he could not but acknowledge the impractibility +of maintaining a conversation with the latter, without the +participation of the former; nor though he should even consent to +divide himself between them, would either of them be content, he told +Elgidia, that the only way to solve these difficulties, was, for her +to fly from the monastery, and be the partner of his fortune, as she +was the mistress of his heart. + +Such a proposition made her start!--to abandon all her friends, and +put herself wholly in the power of a stranger, of whose fortune, +family, or fidelity, she could not be assured, gave her very just +alarms; but whatever was her reluctance at the first mention of such +an enterprize, the extreme passion she had for him, rendered all her +apprehensions, by degrees, less formidable:--he told her he had no +other wishes, than such as were dictated by honour;--that he would +marry her as soon as they should arrive at a place where the ceremony +could be performed with safety:--that he was heir to a considerable +estate after his father's death, that on his return to England he +should have a handsome settlement out of it, and that his present +allowance was sufficient to keep them above want.--People easily +believe what they wish, especially from the mouth of a beloved +person.--Natura indeed had uttered no untruths as to his +circumstances, but as to the main point, his marrying her, it is +impossible to judge whether in that he was sincere, because he knew +not himself whether he was so, tho' in the vehemence of his present +inclinations he might imagine he did so, and at that time really meant +as he said. + +Be that as it may, Elgidia suffered herself to be won by his +perswasions; and being so, the present opportunity was not to be +lost.--He had horses at the gate, could conduct her, he said, where +she might be concealed till they got quite out of the reach of her +kindred, and failed not to remonstrate, that if she delayed, but even +till the next morning, not only the jealousy of the abbess, but a +thousand other accidents, might separate them for ever. + +As the lovers past their time in this manner, the distracted abbess +was prosecuting her journey, in quest of him she had left behind: as +the way she had to go was so short, there was no great danger of any +mischief attending it, neither did any happen; but how great was her +confusion! when arriving at the house where Natura lodged, she was +told he went out in the evening, on the receipt of a billet brought +him by his servant.--This disappointment destroyed all the remains of +temperance had been left in her; she presently guessed the billet came +from no other than Elgidia, doubted not but they were together, and +figured in her mind a scene of tenderness between them so cruel to her +imagination, that frenzy itself scarce exceeded what she endured:--she +rode back with even more precipitation than she had set out, and being +alighted at the gate thro' the great walk, supposing Elgidia had +brought him into her chamber, where, if she found them, thought of +nothing, but sacrificing one or both of them to her resentment. + +In this situation of mind, it cannot be imagined she had any thought +about the horses; but her companion having more the power of +reflection, and judging them to be the farmer's, thought it best to +tye them to a tree within the garden, that so they might be secured, +and sent to him in the morning; which having done, and shut the gate, +she was going to follow the abbess, when she met her coming back:--'I +have considered,' said she, 'that my perfidious sister would rather +chuse the close arbour for her rendezvous, than her own chamber, where +there would be more danger of being overheard by the nuns who lie near +her;--go you therefore,' continued she, 'and wait me in my apartment, +while I search the garden.' + +The nun obeyed, glad to be eased of this nocturnal attendance, and the +abbess drew near, as softly as she could, to the arbour; and standing +behind the covert of the greens of which it was composed, heard the +consent Elgidia gave to accompany Natura, and saw her quit him, with a +promise of returning, as soon as she had put on a habit somewhat more +proper for travelling. + +Had she followed the first dictates of her passion in this stabbing +circumstance, she had either pursued her sister, and inflicted on her +all that vindictive malice could suggest, or run into the arbour, and +discharged some part of her fury on Natura:--each alike shared her +resentment, but divided between both, lost its effects on either:--a +revenge more pleasing, and less unbecoming of a female mind, at length +got the better of those furious resolves;--she thought, that as every +thing favoured such a design, and she was equipped for the purpose, to +take the place of her sister, would afford her an exquisite triumph +over the disappointment she should occasion them: accordingly, after +staying long enough to encourage the deception, she came round the +arbour, and entered at the passage by which Elgidia had gone +out:--Natura, not doubting but it was his beloved, took her in his +arms, saying, 'How transporting is the expedition you have made in +your return; and indeed we had need of it, for the night is far +exhausted, and it is necessary you should be out of this part of the +country before day-break.' + +The abbess answered not to what he said, but gave him her hand; on +which he led her towards the gate, entertaining her with the most +endearing expressions as they walked, to all which she was still dumb. +Natura was not surprized at it, as imagining she was too much +engrossed by the thoughts of what she was about to do, to be able to +speak:--but how great was his mortification, when having opened the +gate, he found his servant, who having missed the horses, was just +come back from a fruitless search of them.--He drew his sword, and had +not the fellow stept nimbly aside, had certainly killed him:--while he +was venting his passion in the severest terms, the abbess shut the +gate upon him, and locked it with her own key, which, leaving in the +lock, the one he had made use of, could now be of no service.--A +caprice he had so little reason to expect in Elgidia, might very well +surprize him, especially at a time when both had so much cause to be +more grave!--he called to her, he complained, he even reproached the +unkindness, and ill-manners of this treatment, while the abbess +indulged on the other side the most spiteful pleasure in his vexation. + +She left him railing at fate and womankind, without convincing him of +his error, when as she was going to the monastery, she met Elgidia +just coming out, and directing her steps towards the arbour:--they +were in the same path, and facing each other:--Elgidia, full of the +fears which usually attend actions of the nature she was about to do, +no sooner perceived the form of a woman, and habited in the same +manner as herself, than she took it for a spirit; and terrified almost +to death, cried out, 'a ghost! a ghost!' and ran, shrieking, with all +her force to the cloyster, resolved, as much as it then was in her +power to resolve on any thing, to desist from her enterprise.--She +made no stop, till she got into her chamber, where she threw herself +on the bed, in a condition not to be described. + +The abbess was so well satisfied with the success of this last +stratagem, that it greatly abated the thoughts of taking any further +revenge:--she went laughing to her confidante, and told her the whole +story, who congratulated her upon it, and said, that in her opinion, +she might take it as a peculiar providence of Heaven, that had +disappointed her first design, which could only have increased her +confusion, and probably brought a lasting scandal on the order. The +abbess wanted not reason, when her passion would permit her to exert +it, and could not help confessing the truth of what the other +remonstrated:--she now easily saw they were Natura's horses they had +made use of, but how it came to pass that those she had bespoke, or +the man she had ordered to bring them, happened to fail, remained a +point yet to be discussed:--the morning, however, cleared it up;--the +fellow acquainted her, that the farmer had no horses at home, and that +as he was coming to let her know it, he saw two men at the gate, one +of whom entered, so that he imagined she had provided herself +elsewhere:--she then bad him turn out Natura's horses, which the nun +having said how she had disposed of them, not thinking herself obliged +to take any care of what belonged to a man, who had treated her with +so much ingratitude. + +Natura was all this time in the utmost perplexity, not only at the +usage he imagined had been given him by Elgidia, but also for the loss +of his horses; and at being told when he came home, that two women, in +riding habits, well mounted, but without any attendants, had been to +enquire for him:--all these things, the meaning of any one of which he +was not able to fathom, so filled his head, that he could not take any +repose:--pretty early in the morning, a letter was brought him from +Elgidia, which he hastily opened, but found nothing in it, but what +served to heighten his amazement and discontent. + +She told him that she could not dispense with letting him know the +occasion of her breach of promise; that intending nothing more than to +perform it, she was hastening to the arbour, when, in the middle of +the garden, she was met by an apparition, which, as near as she could +discern, had the resemblance of herself;--that the terror she was in +had obliged her to retire; and that as she could look on what she had +seen, as no other than a warning from Heaven, she had determined to +use her utmost endeavours for extinguishing a passion obnoxious to its +will; to which end she desired he would make no farther attempts to +engage her to an act so contrary to her duty, or even ever to see her +more. + +Natura had so little notion of spirits and ghosts, that at first he +took this story only as a pretence, to cover a levity he had not +suspected her to be guilty of; but when he reflected on the silence of +the person he had taken for her, and the description of those who had +been to enquire for him, he began to imagine, as he had not the least +thought of the abbess, that something supernatural had indeed walked +the garden that night, and had also been at his own lodgings in order +to perplex him more:--a thousand little tales he had been told in his +infancy, concerning the tricks played on mortals by those shadowy +beings, now came fresh into his mind; and as the belief of what +Elgidia had wrote gained ground in him, was not far from being of her +opinion, that it was a warning from Providence, and to repent of +having attempted to snatch from the altar a woman devoted to it. + +It is doubtless accidents such as this, that have given rise to so +many stories of apparitions, as have been propagated in the world; and +had not Natura been afterwards informed of the whole truth, it is +likely he would have been as great a defender of these ideas, as any +who are accounted superstitious:--but however that might have been, it +wrought so strongly on his mind at present, that joined with the +considerations of those perpetual perplexities which must infallibly +attend an ecclesiastical intrigue; besides, those which the abbess +would involve him in, made him resolve to obey Elgidia's commands, and +pursue the matter no farther, but go directly to the baron d' Eyrac's, +who he heard was still at his country-house. + +The loss of his horses, however, very much vexed him; he bought them, +because he preferred that way of travelling to a post-chaise: they had +cost him forty louis d'ores in Paris, and knew not whether the country +he was in would afford him any so fit for his purpose:--he was just +sending his man to enquire where others were to be had, when his own +were at the door, without the least damage done either to themselves +or saddles:--the farmer who had the care of them while he was at the +monastery, found them wandering in the field, and easily knowing to +whom they belonged, brought them home. + +This was some consolation to him for the loss of his mistresses; and +he began to resolve seriously on his departure; but thinking it would +be the highest ungenerosity to quit the convent, without acknowledging +the favours he had received there, he wrote a letter to the abbess, +full of gratitude and civility, telling her, that tho' the necessity +of his affairs required he should take an eternal leave of that place, +he should always preserve the memory of those honours he had received +in it.--To Elgidia he wrote in much the same strain she had done to +him, and concluded with desiring her to believe it was to Heaven alone +he could resign her. Those letters he sent by his man, and ordered him +to leave them with the portress, to avoid any answers which might have +drawn him into a longer correspondence than he desired, or perhaps +even have occasioned a revival of those inclinations in him, which he +was now convinced of the folly and danger of. + +This was the first proof he gave of a firmness of resolution, and was +indeed as great a one as could have been expected from a man of the +age he was:--it must be owned, that at that time love is the strongest +passion of the soul, and as neither Elgidia nor the abbess wanted +charms to inspire it, and he had been but too sensible of the force of +both, to be able, I say, to tear himself away in the manner he now +did, was a piece of heroism, which I with every one in the like +circumstance may have power to imitate. + +He hired another horse and guide, that he might not lose his way a +second time, and departed the same day for the baron's, where he was +received by that young nobleman with the utmost kindness as well as +politeness, and found so much in his conversation, and those who came +to visit him, and the continual amusements of that place, as made him +soon forget all he had partook in the monastery:--he remained there +while the baron stayed, and then came with him to Paris. + +On his return he frequented the same company, and pursued the same +pleasures he had done before; but as nothing extraordinary befel him, +I shall not enter into particulars, my design being only to relate +such adventures as gave an opportunity for the passions to exert +themselves in influencing the conduct of his life. + + + + +CHAP. II. + + The pleasures of travelling described, and the improvement a + sensible mind may receive from it: with some hints to the + censorious, not to be too severe on errors, the circumstances of + which they are ignorant of, occasioned by a remarkable instance of + an involuntary slip of nature. + + +Of all the countries Natura intended to see, Italy was that of which +he had entertained the most favourable idea:--his curiosity led him to +convince himself whether it really deserved to be intitled _the garden +of the world_; and therefore it was thither he resolved to make his +next progress.--Being told that in so long a journey he would find an +excessive expence, as well as incommodity, in travelling on horseback, +by reason he must be obliged to hire a guide from one place to +another, he sold his horses, and after having hired a post-chaise, +took leave of his acquaintance, and of a place where he had enjoyed +all the pleasures agreeable to a youthful taste. + +He went by the way of Burgundy, and passing through Dijon proceeded to +Lyons, where the sight of the ruins of some Roman palaces yet +remaining there, the fine churches, and beautiful prospect that city +affords, being situated at the confluence of the rivers Rhone and +Soane, tempted him to stay some days.--He was one evening sitting with +his landlord in the inn-yard, when a post-chaise came in, out of which +alighted a gentleman and a lady, just by the place where they +were.--The man got up with all the obsequiousness of persons of his +calling, to bid them welcome, and shew them into a room:--the lady, in +passing, looked earnestly at Natura, and his eyes were no less +attached on her: he thought he saw in her face features he was +perfectly acquainted with, but could not, at that instant, recollect +where he had been so. Not so with her, she easily remembered him, and +in less than half an hour he received an invitation by his name from +these new guests to sup with them, which he accepted of with great +politeness, but said at the same time, he could not imagine to whom he +was obliged for that honour.--On his coming into the room, 'Difference +of habit,' said the lady, smiling, 'joined with the little probability +there was of meeting me in this place, may well disguise me from your +knowledge; but these impediments to remembrance, are not on your +account; monsieur Natura is the same in person at Lyons, as at the +convent of Riche Dames, though perhaps,' added she, 'somewhat changed +in mind.' There needed no more to make him know she was one of the two +nuns who always dined, when he was there, with the abbess, and was her +particular confidante.--'By what miracle, madam, are you here?' cried +he: 'by such another,' answered she, 'as might have brought Elgidia +here, had not an unlucky spirit put other thoughts into her head.' + +She then proceeded to inform him, that loving, and being equally +beloved by the gentleman who was with her, she had made her escape +with him from the monastery, and was going with him into one of the +Protestant cantons of Switzerland, of which he was a native, and where +they were certain of being safe from any prosecutions, either from her +kindred, or the church. + +Natura, after having made his compliments to the gentleman on the +occasion, enquired of her concerning the abbess and Elgidia; on which +she informed him of all the particulars related in the preceding +chapter; adding, that after the receipt of the two letters he had +sent, the sisters came to a mutual understanding, each confessed her +foible to the other, and the cause of their quarrel being for ever +removed, a sincere reconciliation between them ensued. + +As gratitude is natural to the soul, and never is erased but by the +worst passions that can obtrude upon the human mind, Natura had enough +for these ladies to make him extremely glad no worse consequences had +attended their acquaintance with him, but was extremely merry, as they +were all indeed, at the story of the supposed spirit:--they passed the +best part of the night together in very entertaining discourses, and +the next day the two lovers proceeded on their journey to Switzerland, +as Natura the following one did his to Avignon. + +Here again he halted for some time, to feast his eyes, and give +subject for future contemplation, on the magnificent buildings, fine +gardens, churches, and other curiosities, which he was told of, gave +him a sample, tho' infinitely short, of what he would find in +Rome;--the grandeur in which the nobility lived, the elegance and +politeness in the houses of even the lowest rank of gentry, and the +masquerades, balls, and other public diversions, which every night +afforded, made him already see that neither the pleasures, nor the +delicacies of life were confined to Paris. + +The desire of novelty is inherent to a youthful heart, and nothing so +much gratifies that passion as travelling:--variety succeeds +variety;--whether you climb the craggy mountains, or traverse the +flowery vale;--whether thick woods set limits to the light, or the +wide common yields unbounded prospect;--whether the ocean rolls in +solemn state before you, or gentle streams run purling by your side, +nature in all her different shapes delights; each progressive day +brings with it fresh matter to admire, and every stage you come to +presents at night customs and manners new and unknown before. + +The stupendous mountains of the Alps, after the plains and soft +embowered recesses of Avignon, gave perhaps a no less grateful +sensation to the mind of Natura: he wanted indeed such a companion as +death had deprived him of in his good governor, to instruct him how to +improve contemplation, and to moralize on the amazing and different +objects he beheld; yet as his thoughts were now wholly at liberty, and +his reason unclouded by any passions of what kind soever, he did not +fail to make reflections suitable to the different occasions. + +Whoever has seen Rome will acknowledge he must find sufficient there +to exercise all his faculties; but though the architecture, and the +paintings which ornament that august city might have engrossed his +whole attention, the many venerable reliques which were shewn him of +old Rome, appeared yet more lovely in his eyes; which shews the charms +antiquity has for persons even of the most gay dispositions: but this, +according to my opinion, is greatly owing to the prejudice of +education, which forces us as it were to an admiration of the +antients, meerly because they are so, and not that they are in any +essential respect always deserving that vast preference given them +over the moderns:--this may be easily proved by the exorbitant prices +some of our virtuoso's give for pieces of old copper, which are +reckoned the most valuable, as the inscriptions or figures on them are +least legible. + +Natura, however, was not so absorbed in his admiration of the ruined +corner of a bath, or the half-demolished portico of an amphitheatre, +as to neglect those entertainments which more affect the senses, and +consequently give the most natural delight;--the exquisite music +performed at the churches, carried him there much oftener than +devotion would have done, and rarely did he fail the opera at night. + +As the Romans are allowed to be the best bred people upon earth, +especially to strangers, be they of what country or perswasion soever, +neither the being an Englishman or a Protestant hindered him from +making very good acquaintance, and receiving the greatest civilities +from them; but the person to whom he was most obliged, and who indeed +had taken a particular fancy to him, was the younger son of the family +of Caranna: this nobleman, knowing his taste for music, would +frequently take him with him to his box at the opera-house, most +persons of condition having little closets or boxes to themselves, of +which every one keeps his own key, and none can be admitted but by +it:--nothing can be more indulging, as there are curtains to draw +before them, and the seats are made in such a manner that the person +may lie down at his ease. + +The signior of Caranna being otherwise engaged one night, when a +celebrated piece was to be performed, he lent his key to Natura, +unknowing that his wife, who had also one, had made a compliment of +her's to a young lady of her acquaintance. + +Natura by some accident being delayed from going till after the opera +began, on entering was surprized to find a very beautiful young person +there, stretched on the sopha:--as he had been told the box would be +intirely empty, he knew not whether he ought to retire or go forward +and seat himself by her:--this consideration kept him some minutes in +the posture he was in, and perceiving she was too much taken up with +the music, either to have heard him open the door, or see him after he +came in, he had the opportunity of feasting his eyes, with gazing on +the thousand charms she was mistress of; all which were displayed to a +great advantage by the shadowy light which gleamed from the stage +thro' a thin crimson taffety curtain, which she had drawn before her, +to the end she might neither be seen by others, nor see any thing +herself which might take off her attention from the music. + +In fine, he drew near, and had placed himself close by her before she +observed him; but no sooner did so, than she started, and appeared in +some confusion: he made a handsome apology for the intrusion, which he +assured her, with a great deal of truth, was wholly owing to chance, +and said he would withdraw, if his presence would be any interruption +to the pleasure she proposed:--she seemed obliged to him for the +offer, but told him she would not abuse the proof he gave of his +complaisance by accepting it; on which he bowed, and continued in his +place. + +Both the music, and the words, seemed intended to lull the soul into a +forgetfulness of all beside, and fill it only with soft ideas:--it had +at least this effect upon the lady, who had closed her eyes, and was +in reality lost to every other sense than that of hearing.--Natura, +either was, or pretended to be, equally transported, and sunk +insensibly upon her bosom, without any opposition on her part:--she +had possibly even forgot she was not alone, and when an air full of +the most inchanting tenderness was singing, was so much dissolved in +extasy, that crying out, 'O God, 'tis insupportable!' she threw her +arms over Natura's neck, who was still in the same posture I just +mentioned;--he spoke not a word, but was not so absorbed in the +gratification of one faculty, as to let slip the gratification of the +others:--he seized the lucky moment;--he pressed her close, and in +this trance of thought, this total absence of mind, stole himself, as +it were, into the possession of a bliss, which the assiduity of whole +years would perhaps never have been able to obtain. + +Reason and thought at last returned; she opened her eyes, she knew to +what the rapture she had been in had exposed her, and was struck with +the most poignant shame and horror:--she broke with all her force from +that strict embrace in which he had continued to hold her; and being +withdrawn to the farther corner of the closet,--'What have I done,' +cried she, 'What have I done!'--these words she repeated several +times, and accompanied them with tears, wringing her hands, and every +testimony of remorse.--It was in vain for him to attempt to pacify +her, much less to prevail on her to suffer any second proofs of his +tenderness;--she would not even give him leave to touch her hand, and +on his offering it, pushed him back, saying, 'No, stranger! you have +taken the advantage of my _insensibility_ but shall never triumph over +my _reason_, which enables me to hate you,--to fly from you for ever, +as from a serpent.' + +Natura said every thing that love and wit could inspire, to reconcile +her to what had past; but she remained inflexible, and only +condescended to request him to leave the place before the opera was +ended, that they might not be seen coming out together, and that he +would tell signior Carrana, that having unexpectedly found a lady in +the box, he had withdrawn without entering.--He then begged she would +entertain a more favourable opinion of an action, which her beauty, +the bewitching softness of the entertainment, and the place they were +in, had all concurred to make him guilty of; but she would listen to +nothing on that head, insisted on his never taking the least notice of +her, wherever they might chance to meet; and only told him, that tho' +she was unalterably fixed in this resolution, yet he might depend upon +it she hated him less than she did herself. + +Finding she was not to be moved, he obeyed her commands, and straight +went out of the box, more amazed at the oddness of the adventure, than +can be well expressed; and yet more so, when he afterwards heard she +was the wife of a person of great condition, was in the first month of +her marriage with him, and had the reputation of a woman of strict +virtue. + +As this false step was meerly accidental, wholly unpremeditated on +either side, and by what can be judged by the character of the lady, +and her behaviour afterwards, was no more on her part than a surprize +on the senses, in which the mind was not consulted, and had not the +least share, I know not whether it may not more justly be called a +slip of unguarded nature, than a real crime in her; and as for Natura, +though certainly the most guilty of the two, whoever considers his +youth, his constitution, and above all the greatness of the +temptation, which presented itself before him, will allow, that he +must either have been _more_, or _less_, than _man_, to have behaved +otherwise than he did. + +Let the most severely virtuous, who happily have never fallen into the +same error, but figure to themselves the circumstances of this +transgressing pair, and well consider in what manner nature must +operate, when thus powerfully excited, and if they are not rendered +totally incapable of any soft sensations, by an uncommon frigidity of +constitution, they will cease either to wonder at, or too cruelly +condemn, the effects of so irresistible an impulse. + +Were it not for the precepts of religion and morality, the fears of +scandal, and shame of offending against law and custom, man would +undoubtedly think himself intitled to the same privileges which the +brute creation in this point enjoy above him; and it is not therefore +strange, that whenever reason nods, as it sometimes will do, even in +those who are most careful to preserve themselves under its +subjection, that the senses ever craving, ever impatient for +gratification, should readily snatch the opportunity of indulging +themselves, and which it is observable they ordinarily do to the +greater excess, by so much the longer, and the more strictly they have +been kept under restraint. + + + + +CHAP. III. + + The uncertainty of human events displayed in many surprizing turns + of fortune, which befel Natura, on his endeavouring to settle + himself in the world: with some proofs of the necessity of + fortitude, as it may happen that actions, excited by the greatest + virtue, may prove the source of evil, both to ourselves and others. + + +Natura stayed but six months in Rome, and then passed on to Florence, +where having seen all the curiosities that place afforded, he only +waited to receive some remittances from his father, after which he +intended to cross the Appenines to Bolognio, then proceed to Venice, +and so through the Tirolose to Vienna, and flattered himself with +having time enough to visit all the different courts which compose the +mighty empire of Germany. + +These remittances were delayed much longer than he had expected, and +when they arrived, were accompanied by a positive command from his +father to put an end to his travels, and return to England with all +the expedition he could.--His surprize at so unlooked for an order, +would have been equal to the mortification it gave him, if he had not +received a letter from his sister at the same time, which informed +him, that his being so suddenly recalled was wholly owing to the +misfortunes in which their family was at present involved:--that soon +after his departure, their father had discovered an intercourse +between his wife and a person who pretended to be a relation, no way +to the honour of either of them;--that frequent quarrels had at length +separated them;--that he was engaged in a law-suit with her, and also +in several others, with people to whom she, in revenge, as it was +supposed, had given bonds, dated before marriage, for very great sums +of money, pretended to have been borrowed of them by her;--that tho' +the imposition was too gross not to be easily seen through, yet the +forms of the courts of judicature could not be dispensed with, and the +continual demands made upon him had laid him under such +inconveniencies as obliged him even to lessen the number of his +servants, and retrench his table:--she added, that he spoke of his +dear Natura with the utmost tenderness, and was under a very great +concern that the necessity of his affairs would not permit to send him +any more such supplies as were requisite for the prosecution of his +travels. + +Natura at first felt a very great shock at this account; but it is the +peculiar blessing of youth, not to be for any length of time affected +with misfortunes; his melancholly soon dissipated, and he thought of +nothing more than compliance with the command he had received, and +also to perform it in the cheapest manner he could.--On speaking of +his intentions of returning home, he was advised to go to Leghorn, +which being a very great port, it would be no difficulty to find a +ship bound for Holland or England, in which he might take his passage +at an easy rate. He had certainly taken this method, but meeting with +an English gentleman, who was on his travels, and had not yet been at +Rome, was perswaded by him to go back, on his offering to bear the +whole expences of that route, for the pleasure of his company.--After +a stay of two or three months there, they pursued their journey to +Paris, where Natura renewed all the former acquaintance he had +there:--the baron d' Eyrac, with whom he had contracted an intimate +friendship, and from whom he concealed nothing of his affairs, was +extremely concerned to hear the occasion of his being recalled so much +sooner than he had expected, and made him an offer which suited very +well with Natura's inclination to accept: it was this. + +That an old officer in the army having obtained leave to dispose of +his commission, Natura should become the purchaser; and to enable him +to do so, the baron would advance a sum of money, to be returned at +several easy payments, as he received the profits arising from his +troop. + +Love and gallantry had already had their turns with Natura; ambition, +and the pride of being in an independent state, began now to work in +him:--as France was in alliance with England, there was neither shame +nor danger in entering into her service:--besides, he considered, that +as his father was no longer in a condition to supply him with money +abroad, he could not expect any settlement to be made on him at home +that would be answerable to his former expectations;--and that by a +captain's pay, joined to some assistance he might hope to receive +sometimes from England, he should be enabled to make a very good +figure in the world, till the misfortunes of his family should be +retrieved, and if they never were so, he should at least have a +provision for life, in a country he was not weary of. + +He therefore made no hesitation of accepting this proof of the baron's +friendship, who immediately went about making good his promise; and +what with his money, and the great interest he had, both with the +court and army, Natura was dispensed with, for not having been in the +service before; and in a very few days saw himself at the head of a +troop of horse. + +His father, to whom he wrote an account of the step he had taken, with +his motives for it, was far from being offended at it; tho' he told +him it added to his trouble, to think his eldest son should be +compelled, by his having entered into a second marriage, to have +recourse to any avocation whatever for bread; but concluded with +telling him, that in the severe necessity of their present +circumstances, he could not have pitched on any thing more agreeable +to his inclinations, or more honourable in itself. + +This letter served to compose all the disquiets Natura had of +disobliging a parent, for whom he retained the most tender, as well as +dutiful regard, ever since the kind forgiveness be received from him +at Wapping, which shews the great effect of lenity over a mind, where +gratitude and generosity are not wholly extinguished; which, as I +before observed, they never are, but by a long habitude of vice. + +He was now as happy as he had any need to wish to be, enjoying all the +pleasures of life in a reasonable way, and rarely transgressing the +bounds of moderation; and when at any time, through the prevalence of +example, or the force of his own passions, he was hurried to some +little excesses, they were never such as could incur the censure of +dishonourable or mean. He was punctual to his payments with the baron, +and had the satisfaction of seeing himself intirely out of debt at +three years end; which manner of behaviour so endeared him to that +gentleman, that few friendships are to be found more sincere, than +that which subsisted between them. + +But as good sometimes arises out of evil, so what is in itself a real +happiness, is not always without consequences altogether the reverse; +as it proved to Natura, who from the most contented situation, all +owing to the baron's friendship, was, on a sudden, by that very +friendship, thrown into one of the greatest trouble and danger. + +One morning, as he was dressing, the baron entered his chamber, with a +countenance which before he spoke, denoted he had somewhat of +importance to communicate:--Natura easily perceived it, and to put him +out of pain, ordered his valet to leave the room; on which the other +immediately told him, he was come to desire a proof of that sincere +good-will he had professed for him.--'I should,' replied he, 'be the +most unworthy of mankind, if I had not in reality much more than is in +the power of words to express, and not look on an opportunity given by +you of testifying it, equal to any favour you have bestowed on me.' + +The baron was at present in too much agitation of spirit to answer +this compliment as he would have done at another time; and made haste +to inform him, that the countess d' Ermand, who on some +misunderstanding with her husband, had been confined in a monastery +for several months, without any hopes of obtaining her release, had +found means to convey a letter to him, earnestly requesting he would +assist her in her escape:--'she has acquainted me,' continued he, +'with the plot she has laid;--there is nothing impracticable in it; +but I cannot do what she desires without the help of some trusty +friend, and it is you alone I dare rely upon, in a business, which, if +not carefully concealed, as well as resolutely acted, may be of very +ill consequence.' + +Natura did not greatly relish this piece of knight-errantry; but as he +thought he ought to refuse nothing to the baron, hesitated not to +assure him of the most ready compliance; on which the other told him, +he must get two or three of his soldiers, who, disguised like +peasants, but well mounted, and their swords concealed under their +cloaths, must attend the expedition, and be at hand in case they +should meet with any resistance, which, however, he said he did not +apprehend, it being but ten small miles to the monastery, the road but +little frequented, and the time agreed upon for the execution of the +project twelve at night; so there was no great danger of any +interruption, unless some unfortunate accident should happen.--'The +lady,' continued he, 'informs me she has observed the place where the +portress constantly hangs up the key of the outer gate every night, +and when the nuns are gone into the chapel to their midnight +devotions, can easily slip out:--we have only therefore to be there +exactly at the time, and be ready to receive her; and as for the rest, +I have already provided a place where she may remain undiscovered, +till something can be done for her.' + +The baron added many things concerning the ill treatment she had +received; but Natura did not give himself any trouble to examine into +the merits of the cause, it was sufficient for him to do what he +requested of him; and that night being the same had been appointed by +the lady for the business to be done, he went immediately about +preparing for it. + +Accordingly, he selected from out of his troop three who seemed most +proper to be employed in such an enterprize, and after having sworn +them to secrecy in whatever they saw, or should happen, though without +acquainting them with the main of the affair, or mentioning the baron +d' Eyrac, told them in what manner they were to disguise themselves, +and ordered they should attend him at the Fauxbourg, a little after +ten o'clock the same night. + +Rejoiced at an opportunity of obliging their officer, especially as +they doubted not of being well gratified, each gave a thousand oaths +instead of the one required of him, to be both punctual and faithful +in the discharge of the trust reposed in him. + +In fine, all was conducted with a care and caution becoming of the +gratitude and esteem Natura had for the baron, and as if he had +himself approved of this undertaking, which, as I before observed, he +could not do in his heart. + +The two gentlemen, muffled up in their cloaks and vizarded, repaired +to the Fauxbourg, at the appointed time, where they found the soldiers +on the post allotted for them by their officer; on which they all rode +off together, and arrived before the walls of the monastery some few +minutes before twelve, at which hour precisely the gate was opened, +and a woman appeared at it.--To prevent the loss of time, it had been +concluded, that the baron should not dismount, but Natura perform the +office of an equerry, in placing her behind him: just as he had +alighted, and taken her in his arms, in order to perform that office, +a great noise was heard; and in an instant, our adventurers found +themselves surrounded by more than a dozen armed men, who rushed upon +them from the covert of a wood:--the lady shrieked, and ran back into +the convent, on Natura's letting her go, in order to draw his sword +against these antagonists, who seemed resolute, either to kill or take +him and his associates prisoners:--the fight was obstinate on both +sides, tho' the baron finding his design defeated, had not entered +into it at first, but trusted to the goodness of his horse for his +escape, if his consideration for Natura, who being on foot, must have +been immediately seized, had not prevented him.--At length, however, +having received two or three wounds, and convinced of the +impossibility of maintaining their ground against such an inequality +of numbers, self-preservation prevailed; he broke thro' those that +encompassed him, and setting spurs to his horse, had the good fortune +to avoid the mischief which he knew must inevitably befal those he +left behind. + +The three troopers gallantly defended their captain for some time, nor +was he idle in making those who approached him too near, feel the +sharpness of his sword; but not being able to get on horseback, all +his courage, or that of his men, could not prevent him, and them, from +being made prisoners. Several of the conquering party being officers +of justice, they conducted them to Paris, where the soldiers were +disposed of in the common goal, but Natura who was known, was +committed to the care of an exempt, who treated him with the good +manners his station demanded; he had received a pretty deep wound in +the shoulder, and a surgeon was presently sent for; but no artery nor +sinew being touched, no ill consequence was like to attend it. + +It may be imagined he passed the remainder of this night in a good +deal of disquiet, as having lived long enough in France to know that +an attempt of the nature he had been engaged in would find little +mercy from the law.--A good part of the next day was passed, before +they carried him to the magistrate, whose office it was to examine +into such causes, his adversaries not having prepared their +accusation; the heads of which were, that he had attempted a rape upon +a married woman of quality; that he had contrived, with other persons, +to take her out of the monastery, and had come with an armed force for +that purpose. These articles having been deposed upon oath, the +magistrate told him his crime was of a double nature, that he had +violated both the civil and ecclesiastic laws; but as his office +extended no farther than the former, he had only to demand of him what +defence he had to make for himself in that part. + +Natura had no other remedy than to deny all that was laid to his +charge:--he protested, as he might truly do, that he was so far from +entertaining any criminal designs on any lady in that monastery, that +he did not so much as know the face of any one of them; and pretended, +that being only riding out for the benefit of the air, he found +himself attacked by persons unknown, with whom he confessed he had +fought in his own defence. + +But this availed not at all to his justification:--his own soldiers, +who had been examined before himself, had confessed, that they were +commanded by their officer to attend him on a certain enterprize, in +which they were to behave with secresy and resolution; but said, they +did not know of what sort it was, till they saw a woman come to the +gate of the monastery, whom their captain presently took in his arms, +but with what intent they could not pretend to say. + +A letter also was produced, which madame d' Ermand had dropt, and +which had occasioned this discovery of the intrigue, as it contained +the whole method by which she was to be taken away; and tho' there was +no name subscribed, appearances were strong against Natura as the +author, and tho' he offered to bring many witnesses to prove it was a +hand very different from what he wrote, yet it served at least to +prove that it was sent by some one person in the company, and that if +he were not the principal in this conspiracy, yet being the agent and +abettor, as it was plain he was, by his bringing his own soldiers, he +could not be judged less guilty. + +After a long examination he was remanded to the exempt's house, till +the sitting of the judges, which they told him would be in eight days; +in which interval he was allowed to prepare what defence he had to +make, and for that purpose advocates were allowed to come to him, but +no other person whatever, not even his own servant, and he received +attendance from those belonging to the exempt, who also fetched from +his lodgings change of apparel, and all such necessaries as he had +occasion for; care being taken to search every thing before it came to +his hands, in order to prevent any letters being conveyed to him that +way. + +In this melancholly situation did he pass his time; but that was +little in regard to his apprehensions of the future:--as his case +stood there was little expectation of any thing less than a shameful +death, perhaps ushered in by tortures worse than even that:--his +advocates, however, and it is likely his accusers too, were of opinion +that he had been in reality no more than an agent in this business, +and therefore gave him to understand, that if he laid open the whole +truth, and declared the name of the person chiefly concerned, it would +greatly mitigate the severity of the laws in such cases; but this he +would by no means be prevailed upon to do, resolving rather to suffer +every thing they could inflict upon him, than be guilty of so mean and +dishonourable an action as breach of trust, even to a person +indifferent, but to a friend villainous in the most superlative +degree: alike unmoved by arguments, as inflexible to menaces or +perswasions, he persisted in answering, that he was ignorant of what +they aimed at:--that he knew nothing of madame d' Ermand himself, was +an intire stranger to her, and equally so to the ill designs on her +they mentioned, either on his own account, of that of any other +person. + +He was neither so weak nor vain as to flatter himself his positiveness +in denying what could be proved by so many witnesses, would be of any +service at his trial; but as it was expected he should say something +in his defence, and could say nothing else, without giving up his +friend, he was determined not to depart from what he had alledged at +first. + +The count d' Ermand, who possibly had a suspicion of the truth, as it +seems he long had entertained some jealous thoughts of the baron d' +Eyrac, who had taken all opportunities of testifying an uncommon +gallantry to his wife, would have given almost a limb to satiate his +revenge against that gentleman:--the soldiers had been re-examined +several times concerning that other person who was with them at the +monastery, and had made his escape; but as they had neither seen his +face, nor heard his name, it was impossible for them to make any +discoveries:--these poor wretches were afterwards put to the torture, +but that had, nor indeed could have, any other effect, than to make +them curse their officer, who had been the cause of their sufferings. + +In fine, monsieur d' Ermand, and the kindred of his wife, joined with +the instigations of the clergy, who thought they had an equal right +for revenge in this point, prevailed so far upon the civil +magistrates, as to procure an order, that Natura should himself +undergo the same tortures his soldiers had done, thereby to extort +that confession from him they could no otherwise procure:--this, +notwithstanding, they had the lenity to inform him of, the day before +that which was prefixed for the execution, thinking perhaps, that the +menace of what he was condemned to endure, would be sufficient: but +tho' human nature could not but shrink under such apprehensions, yet +did his fortitude remain unshaken, and he thought of nothing but how +to arm himself, so as to bear all should be inflicted on him with +courage. + +But there were no more than a few hours in which he had to meditate on +what he had to do, when his affairs took a very different turn, and by +the most unthought-of means imaginable: It was towards the close of +day, when the wife of the exempt came into his chamber, and having +locked the door, 'I am come, captain,' said she, 'to offer you life, +liberty, and what is yet more, to put it in your power to avoid those +dreadful tortures, which are preparing for you!--what would you do to +gratify your preserver?'--The surprize Natura was in, did not hinder +him from replying, that there was nothing with which he would not +purchase such a deliverance, provided the terms were not inconsistent +with his honour:--'No,' resumed she, 'I know by your behaviour since +in custody, and the resolution with which you have withstood all the +temptations laid before you, for the unravelling an affair, you have, +it is the opinion of every one, been led into only by your friendship +to some person, that you regard nothing so much as honour; what I have +to propose will be no breach of it';--'but,' continued she, 'time is +precious, and opportunities of speaking to you are scarce; therefore +know, in a few words, that I am weary of my husband's ill usage, +desire nothing so much as to go where I may never see him more; and if +you will make me the companion of your flight, and swear to take care +of me till I shall otherwise dispose of myself; I have disguises for +both of us prepared, and this night you shall be free.' + +Natura had little need to hesitate if he should accept this +proposal:--he saw there was at least a chance for escaping the dangers +to which he was exposed; and should the woman's plot miscarry, and he +detected of being an accomplice in it, his condition could not, even +then, be worse than it was at present; he therefore embraced her with +a fervor which she seemed very well pleased with, and assured her in +the most solemn manner he would return all the obligations she +conferred on him, by such ways as should be most agreeable to her. She +then told him she had not slept for some time in the same bed with her +husband, and therefore might easily come to him again as soon as the +family were gone to their respective apartments; and having said this, +went out of the room hastily, tho' not without returning his salute, +and telling him he was worthy of greater risques than those she was +about to run. + +He was no sooner left alone, than he began to reflect: on the +capriciousness of his destiny, which to preserve him from suffering +for a crime he was innocent of, was about to make him in reality +guilty of one of the very same nature: it is likely, however, he was +not troubled with many scruples on this head; or if any arose in his +mind, they were soon dissipated in the consideration of what he owed +to his own safety, which he yet could not greatly flatter himself with +the hope of, as he was not ignorant how difficult it was for a +delinquent to elude the diligence of those sent in search of him. The +chance of such a thing notwithstanding was not to be neglected; and he +waited with an impatience adequate to the occasion, for the hour in +which he expected his deliverance. + +It was little more than eleven o'clock, when she came into the chamber +in the habit of a country fellow, which so intirely disguised her, +that till she spoke, he took her for one of those who attend the +prisoners in the circumstances he then was, and imagined some accident +had prevented the execution of her plot; but he was soon convinced of +his error, by her speaking, and at the same time presenting him with a +coat, wig, and every thing proper to make him pass for such as she +appeared herself:--the reader may suppose he wasted not much time in +equipping himself, or in making any idle compliments; it was scarce +midnight, when they both got safely out of the house, the door of +which she shut softly after her. + +She then proposed to him to go to the Fauxbourg, whence they might, +without any suspicion, as passing for poor countrymen, get into the +open road before day-break; but he would needs stop at the baron d' +Eyrac's, judging with good reason that they might be more securely +concealed in his house, till the search should be over, than to +pretend to travel in any shape whatever. She, who knew not what +obligations the baron had to be faithful to him in this point, at +first opposed it; but he at length prevailed, and they went boldly to +the door; the family not being all in bed, it was immediately opened, +but in the dress they were, found some difficulty to be admitted to +the baron, who, the servant told them, was asleep; but Natura, with an +admirable presence of mind, replied, that he had brought a letter from +a friend in the country of the utmost importance, and must be +delivered into the baron's own hands directly; on which he was at last +won to let them come into the hall, while he sent to let his lord +know. + +Whether the baron had any suspicion of the truth, or not, is +uncertain, but he ordered the men should be brought up; Natura, +however, thought it most proper to speak to him alone, therefore left +his companion below:--never was surprize greater than that of this +nobleman, when the other discovered himself to him, and the means by +which he had been set free. After the first demonstrations of joy and +gratitude for the integrity he had shewn in resolving to endure every +thing, rather than betray the trust reposed in him, it was judged +necessary to send for his deliverer, to whom on her coming up, the +baron made many compliments. + +On discoursing on what method was best for them to take, in order to +prevent discovery, the baron would by no means suffer them to pursue +that of endeavouring to quit France till the search would be made +should be entirely over; he told them, he had a place where he could +answer with his life for their concealment, which indeed was that he +had provided for the countess d' Ermand, in case they had not been +disappointed in their designs.--'There,' said he, 'you may remain, and +be furnished with all things necessary;--I can come frequently to you, +and inform you what passes, and when you may depart with safety, after +we have contrived the means.' + +The exempt's wife, as well as Natura, highly approved of this offer; +and the baron knowing any stay in his house might be dangerous both to +himself and them, presently dressed himself, and went with them to the +house he mentioned, where having seen them safe lodged, took his leave +for that night, but seldom let a day pass without seeing them. + +This was doubtless the only asylum which could have protected them +from the strict search was made the next day, the house of every +person, with whom either Natura or the woman had the least +acquaintance, was carefully examined; but this scrutiny was soon over +in that part, they supposed them to have left the city, and officers +were sent in pursuit of them every road they could be imagined to +take; so that had they fled, they must unavoidably have been taken. +But not to be too tedious, it was five weeks before the baron could +think it safe for them to leave Paris; and then hearing their enemies +had lost all hope of finding them, and that the general opinion was, +that they were quite got off, he told Natura that he believed they now +might venture to go, taking proper precautions. On taking leave, he +compelled Natura to accept of bills to the value of his commission, +which, as he said, being lost meerly on his account, it was his duty +to re-imburse:--nothing could be more tender than the parting of these +two faithful friends;--necessity, however, must be obeyed;--they +separated, after having settled every thing between them, and mutually +promised to keep a correspondence by letters. + +It was judged best, and safest for them, to keep still in the same +disguise till they should be entirely out of the French dominions, +which happily at length they were, without the least ill accident +befalling them, none suspecting them for other than they appeared, +though the search after them was very strict, and a great reward +offered for apprehending them.--As soon as they arrived at Dover, both +threw off their borrowed shapes; Natura was again the fine gentleman, +and his companion a very agreeable woman, who was so well satisfied +with what she had done, and the behaviour of Natura towards her, that +she had lost nothing of her good looks by the fatigue of her journey. + +Here they waited some time for the arrival of his servant, who knew +nothing what was become of his master, since he had made his escape +from the exempt, till he was entirely out of the kingdom, but had, all +this while, been kept in good heart by the baron, who still had told +him he was safe and well, and that he should soon hear news of him to +his satisfaction; this faithful domestic, whom they had no pretensions +to detain, now came with all his baggage, and Natura returned to +London, in an equipage, not at all inferior to that in which he had +left it. + +The first thing he did was to place the exempt's wife in a handsome +lodging, and then went to wait upon his father, who had been much +alarmed at not having received any letter from him for a much longer +time than he had been accustomed to be silent. The old gentleman was +rejoiced to see him, after an absence of near six years, but sorry for +the occasion, as his affairs were greatly perplexed, on account of the +law-suits before mentioned, which being most of them in chancery, were +like to be spun out to a tedious length; but Natura soon informed him +that he was in a condition, which at present did not stand in need of +any assistance from him, and that he was determined to enter into some +business for his future support. + +But in the midst of these determinations, the remembrance of his +unhappy contract with Harriot came into his mind; he thought he had +reason to fear some interruption in his designs from the malice and +wickedness of that woman: but being loth to renew the memory of his +former follies, he forbore making any mention of it to his father, +till that tender parent, not doubting but it would be a great +satisfaction to him, to know himself entirely freed from all claims of +the nature she had pretended to have on him, acquainted him, that +after he was sent away, the first step he had taken, was to get the +contract out of her hands. + +The transported Natura no sooner heard he had done so, than he cried +out, 'By what means, dear sir, was she prevailed upon to relinquish a +title, by which she certainly hoped to make one day a very great +advantage?' + +'Indeed,' said the father, 'I know not whether all the efforts I made +for that purpose, would have been effectual, if fortune had not +seconded my design:--she withstood all the temptations I laid in her +way, rejected the sum I offered, and only laughed at the menaces I +made, when I found she was not to be won by gentle means; and I began +to despair of success, so much as to give over all attempts that way, +when I was told she was in custody of an officer of the _compter_, on +account of some debts she had contracted:--on this your uncle put it +into my head to charge her with several actions in fictitious names; +so that being incapable of procuring bail, and going to be carried to +prison, when I sent a person to her with an offer to discharge her +from all her present incumbrances, on condition she gave up the +contract, which I assured her, at the same time, she would not be the +better for, it being my intention you should settle abroad for life.' + +'This,' continued he, 'in the exigence she then was, she thought it +best to accept of, and I got clear of the matter, with much less +expence than I had expected; her real debts not amounting to above +half what I had once proposed to give her.' + +Natura was charmed to find himself delivered from all the scandal, and +other vexations, with which he might otherwise have been persecuted +his whole life long, both by herself and the emissaries she had always +at hand, might have employed against him: nor was he much less +delighted to hear that she had also received some part of the +punishment her crimes deserved, in the disappointment of all her +impudent and high-raised expectations. + +Having nothing now to disturb him in the prosecution of his purpose, +he set about it with the utmost diligence; and as he had a +considerable quantity of ready money by him to offer either by way of +praemium, or purchase, there was not, indeed, any great danger of his +continuing long without employment, nor that, so qualified, he might +not also be able to chuse out of many, one which should be most +agreeable to his inclinations. + +Accordingly he in a little time hearing of a genteel post under the +government that was to be disposed on, he laid out part of his money +in the purchase of it, and with the remainder set up the exempt's wife +in a milliner's shop, in which, being a woman of a gay polite +behaviour, she soon acquired great business, especially as she +pretended to have left France on the score of religion, and went +constantly every day to prayers, after having formally renounced the +errors of the church of Rome: Natura visited her very often out of +gratitude, and perhaps some sparks of a more warm passion; and they +had many happy hours together, which the talk of their past adventures +contributed to heighten, as afflictions once overcome, serve to +enhance present happiness. + +Several matches were now proposed to Natura, but he rejected them all; +whether it were that he had not seen the face capable of fixing his +heart, or whether he was willing to wait the determination of his +father's affairs, in order to marry to greater advantage, it is hard +to say; tho' probably the latter was the true reason; for ambition now +began to display itself in his bosom, and by much got the better of +those fond emotions which a few years past had engrossed him: he now +began to think that grandeur had charms beyond beauty, though far from +being insensible of that too, he was not without other amours than +that he still continued with the French woman: the raising his fortune +was, however, his principal view, and for that purpose he neglected +nothing tending to promote it; he made his court to those of the great +men, who he knew could be serviceable to him with so much success, +that he had many promises of their interest for a better post, as soon +as opportunity presented. + +Fortune for a while seemed inclined to favour him in a lavish manner; +his mother-in-law died, and with her many of the vexatious suits +dropped, and others were compromised at an easy rate, so that his +father was soon in a condition to make a settlement upon him +sufficient to qualify him for a seat in parliament, which, on the +first vacancy, thro' favour, he got into, though at that time the +house was not crowded with placemen, as it since has been: in fine, he +was beloved and caressed by persons of the highest rank, and every one +looked upon him as a man who, in time, would make a very considerable +figure in the world. + +His friends remonstrating that as he was twenty-nine, it was time for +him to think of marriage, and a proposal being made on that account +with a young lady, of an ancient and honourable family, who, besides a +large fortune in her own hands, had the reputation of every other +requisite to render that state agreeable, he hesitated not to embrace +it:--he made his addresses to her, she accepted of them, and in as +short a time as could be expected, consented to give him her +hand;--the kindred on both sides were very well pleased, and tho' her +family had some advantages in point of birth over his, yet as he +seemed in a fair way of doing honour to it, there was not the least +objection made; but articles were drawn, and a day appointed for the +wedding. + +But how little dependance is to be placed on fortune! how precarious +are the smiles of that uncertain goddess, when most secure of her +promised favours, and just upon the point, as we imagine, of receiving +all we have to wish from her, she often snatches away the expected +good, and showers upon us the worst of mischiefs treasured in her +store-house!--Some few days before that which was to crown his hopes, +he happened in company to be discoursing of his travels, and +mentioning some things he had seen in France, a gentleman who imagined +he spoke too favourably of the chevalier St. George, and pretended he +had also been there, took upon him to contradict almost all he said +concerning that place and person: Natura knowing himself in the right, +and being a little heated with wine, maintained the truth of what he +alledged, with more impetuosity than policy perhaps would have +suffered him to have done at another time; and the other no less +warmly opposing, passion grew high on both sides;--the lie was given +and returned;--each was no less quick with his sword than his +repartee, several passes were made, but the company parted them: and +though they stayed together, neither of them was reconciled, nor in +good humour for what was past. + +In going home Natura and one gentleman kept together, as their way +happened to be the same, when, see the wild effects of party-rage! all +on a sudden, the person who had been his antagonist, and, it seems, +had followed, came up to them, with his sword drawn, and told Natura +he was a scoundrel, and a fool, for what he had said; his words, and +the sight of his weapon, made him put himself immediately in a posture +of defence, which indeed he had need of; for had he been less nimble, +he had received the sword of the other in his body, before the +gentleman who was with him could do any thing to separate them; nor +were his efforts for that purpose sufficient to prevent them from +engaging with a vehemence, which permitted neither of making use of +much skill: it was however the chance of Natura to give his adversary +a wound, which made him fall, as he imagined, dead; on which the +disinterested person made the best of his way, as being afraid of +being taken up by the watch, who were then just coming by:--Natura did +the same, and thinking it improper to go home, went to the house of a +friend, in whom he could confide, and who, on enquiry the next day, +brought him an account, that the person with whom he had fought was +dead, but had lived long enough to acquaint those who took him up, by +whom he had received his hurt; and that warrants were already out for +apprehending the murderer, as he was now called. + +What now was to be done! Natura found himself under the necessity of +going directly out of the way, and by that means endanger the loss of +his employment, and also of his intended bride; or by staying expose +himself to a shameful trial at the Old Bailey, which, he had reason to +fear, would not end in his favour, the deceased having many friends +and relations at the bar; and the very person who had been witness of +their combat, somewhat a-kin to him:--it was therefore his own +inclination, as well as the advice of his friends, that prevailed on +him to make his escape into some foreign part, while they were looking +for him at home; which he accordingly did that same hour, taking post +for Harwich, where, through the goodness of his horse, he arrived that +night, and immediately embarked in a fishing-smack, which carried him +into Holland. + +He had leisure now to reflect on his late adventure, which afforded +the most melancholly retrospect; the happy situation he had been in, +and the almost assured hopes of being continued in for life, made his +present one appear yet worse, than in reality it was: he now looked on +himself as doomed to be a vagrant all his days, driven from his native +country for ever, and the society of all his friends, and torn beyond +even a possibility of recovering, from a lady, to whom he was so near +being united for ever, whom he loved, and whose fortune and kindred +had given him just expectation of advancement in the world. + +These gloomy thoughts took him wholly up for some days, but he was not +yet arrived at those years, in which misfortunes sink too deeply on +the soul; these vexatious accidents by degrees lost much of their +ferocity, and he began to consider how much beneath a man of courage +it was to give way to despair at any event whatever, and that he ought +to look forward, and endeavour to _retrieve_, not _lament_, the +mischief that was past. He wrote to his father an exact account of +every thing, and intreated his advice: he sent also a letter to the +young lady, full of the most tender expressions, and pressures for the +continuance of her affection; though this latter was more for the sake +of form than any hope he had of being granted what he asked, or as he +was circumstanced, any benefit he could have received from it, if +obtained. + +The answer his father sent, gave him both pain and pleasure; it +informed him, that the wounds he had given the person with whom he +fought, were not mortal; that it was only the vast effusion of blood +which had thrown him into a fainting, which occasioned the report of +his death, and that he was now in a fair way of recovery; so that he, +Natura, might return as soon as he pleased, there being no danger on +account of the rencounter; but that the occasion of that quarrel being +a party-affair, and represented in its worst colours by some private +enemies, it had reached the ears of the ministry, who, looking on him +as a disaffected person, had already disposed of his employment; he +also informed him, that he must not flatter himself with being able +ever hereafter to be thought qualified to hold any place or office +under the government:--he also added, that the friends of his intended +bride were so incensed against him, that they protested, they would +sooner see her in her coffin, than in the arms of a man who had +incurred the odious appellation of a _Jacobite_; and that she herself +expressed her detestation of the principles he was now accused of, +with no less virulence and contempt;--had torn the letter he had sent +to her in a thousand pieces; and to shew how much she was in earnest, +had accepted the addresses of a gentleman, who had been long his +rival, and to whom it was expected she would soon be married. + +If Natura rejoiced to find himself cleared of having been the death of +a fellow-creature, he was equally mortified at having rendered himself +obnoxious to those who alone were capable of gratifying his ambition: +as for the change in the lady's sentiments concerning him, he was +under much less concern; he thought the affection she professed for +him must have been very small, when a difference of opinion in +state-affairs, and that too but supposed, could all at once erace it, +and rather despised, than lamented, the bigotry of party-zeal, which +had occasioned it:--his good sense made him know, that to deny all the +good qualities of a person, meerly because those good qualities were +not ornamented with the favours of fortune, was both unjust and mean; +and the proof she gave of her weakness and ungenerosity in this point, +intirely destroyed all the passion he once had for her, and +consequently all regret for the loss of her. + +He could not, however, think of returning to England yet a while; his +father's letter had given some hints, as if there was a design on +foot, and he was confirmed soon after of the truth of it, for +expelling him the house; and he thought it was best to spare his +enemies that labour, and quit it of his own accord: and in this he +found himself intirely right, when on writing to some persons of +condition, with whom he had been most intimate, he found by their +answers, that it was now known he had been in the French service, +which both himself and his father had kept a secret, even from their +nearest kindred; not there was any thing in it which could be +construed into a crime, as the nations were then in alliance, but +because as he could not possibly enjoy a commission there, without +conforming to the ceremonies of the Romish church, it must infallibly +be a hindrance to his advancement in a Protestant country. It is +certain, Natura was of a temper to make good the proverb, _That when +one is at Rome, one must do as they do at Rome_:--and though he had +gone to hear _mass_, because it was his interest, and the necessity of +his affairs obliging him in a manner to seek his bread at that time, +yet was he far from approving the superstitions of that church; all +that he could write, however, or his friends urge for him on this +head, was ineffectual; he passed for a _papist_ and _jacobite_ with +every body: pursuant therefore to his resolution of continuing abroad, +till these discourses should be a little worn out, he wrote again to +his father, and settled his affairs so as to receive remittances of +money, at the several places to which he intended to go. + + + + +CHAP. IV. + + The power of fear over a mind, weak either by nature, or infirmities + of body: The danger of its leading to despair, is shewn by the + condition Natura was reduced to by the importunities of priests of + different perswasions. This chapter also demonstrates, the little + power people have of judging what is really best for them, and that + what has the appearance of the severest disappointment, is + frequently the greatest good. + + +As to lose the memory of his disgrace, or at least all those gloomy +reflections it had occasioned, was the chief motive which had made +Natura resolve to travel a second time, it was a matter of +indifference to him which way he went. He first took care to make +himself master of all that was worth observation in Holland, where he +found little to admire, except the Stadthouse, and the magnificence +with which king William, after his accession to the crown of these +kingdoms, had ornamented his palace at Loo; but the rough, unpolite +behaviour of the people, disgusted him so much, that he stayed no +longer among them than was necessary to see what the place afforded, +and then passed on to Brussels, Antwerp, and, in fine, left no great +city, either in Dutch or French Flanders unvisited; thence went into +Germany, where his first route was to Hanover, having, it seems, a +curiosity of seeing a prince, whose brows were one day to be incircled +with the crown of England; but this country was, at that time, in so +low and wretched a condition, that whether he looked on the buildings, +the lands, or the appearance of the inhabitants, all equally presented +a scene of poverty to his eyes; he therefore made what haste he could +out of it, having found nothing, except the Elector himself, that gave +him the least satisfaction. He was also at several other petty courts, +all which served to inspire in him not the most favourable idea of +Germany. + +At length he arrived at Vienna, a city pompous enough to those who had +never seen Rome and Paris; but however it may yield to them in +elegance of buildings, gardening, and other delicacies of life, it was +yet more inferior in the manners of the people;--he perceived among +the persons of quality, an affectation of grandeur, a state without +greatness, and in the lower rank of gentry, a certain stiffness, even +to the meanest, and an insufferable pride, which came pretty near +ferocity:--the costly, but ill-contrived parades frequently made, +discovered less their riches than their bad taste, and appeared the +more ridiculous to Natura, as they were extolled for their +magnificence and elegance; but, even here, as indeed all over Germany, +the courts of Berlin and Dresden excepted, you see rather an _aim_ of +attracting admiration and respect, than the _power_ of it. These, +however, were the sentiments of Natura, others perhaps may judge +differently. + +But whatever may be the deficiencies of Germany in matters of genius, +wit, judgment, and manners, there is none in good eating, and good +wine; and though their fashion of cookery is not altogether so polite, +nor so agreeable to the palates of others as their own, yet it must be +confessed, that in their way, they are very great epicures; but though +they generally eat voraciously, they drink yet more; and so nimbly do +they send the glass about, that a stranger finds it no small +difficulty to maintain his sobriety among them. + +Natura's too great compliance with their intreaties in this point, had +like to have proved fatal to him:--the strength of the wines, and +drinking them in a much larger quantity than he had been accustomed +to, so inflamed his blood, that he soon fell into a violent fever, +which for some days gave those that attended him, little hopes of his +recovery; but by the skill of his physician, joined to his youth, and +the goodness of his constitution, the force of the distemper at last +abated, yet could not be so intirely eradicated, as not to leave a +certain pressure and debility upon the nerves, by some called a fever +on the spirits, which seemed to threaten either an atrophy or +consumption; his complexion grew pale and livid, and his strength and +flesh visibly wasted; and what was yet worse, the vigour of his mind +decayed, in proportion with that of his external frame, insomuch that, +falling into a deep melancholy, he considered himself as on the brink +of the grave, and expected nothing but dissolution every hour. + +While he continued in this languishing condition, he was frequently +visited by the priests, who in some parts of Germany, particularly at +Vienna, are infinitely more inveterate against Protestantism than at +Paris, or even at Rome, though the _papal_ seat; as indeed any one may +judge, who has heard of the many and cruel persecutions practised upon +the poor Protestants by the emperors, in spite of the repeated +obligations they have had to those powers who profess the doctrines of +Calvin and Luther; but gratitude is no part of the characteristic of a +German. + +These venerable distracters of the human mind, were perpetually +ringing hell and damnation in his ears, in case he abjured not, before +his death, the errors in which he had been educated, and continued in +so many years, and by acts of penance and devotion, reconcile himself +to the mother church; they pleaded the antiquity of their faith, +brought all the fathers they could muster up, to prove that alone was +truly orthodox, and that all dissenting from it was a sin not to be +forgiven. + +On the other hand, the English ambassador's chaplain, who knew well +enough what they were about, omitted nothing that might confirm him in +the principles of the reformation, and convince him that the church of +England, as by law established, had departed only from the errors +which had crept into the primitive church, not from the church itself, +and that all the superstitious doctrines now preached up by the Romish +priests, were only so many impositions of their own, calculated to +inrich themselves, and keep weak minds in awe. + +Natura, who had till now contented himself with understanding moral +duties, and had never examined into matters of controversy between the +two religions, now found both had so much to say in defence of their +different modes of worship, that he became very much divided in his +sentiments; and each remonstrating to him by turns, the danger of +dying in a wrong belief, wrought so far upon the present weakness of +his intellects, as to bring him into a fluctation of ideas, which +might, in time, either have driven him into despair, or made him +question the very fundamentals of a religion, the merits of which its +professors seemed to place so much in things of meer form and +ceremony. + +By this may be seen how greatly _christianity_ suffers by the unhappy +divisions among the professors of it:--much it is to be wished, though +little to be hoped, that both sides would be prevailed upon to recede +a little from their present stiffness in opinion, or be at least less +virulent in maintaining it; since each, by endeavouring to expose and +confute what they look upon as an absurdity in the other, join in +contributing to render the truth of the whole suspected, and not only +give a handle to the avowed enemies, of depreciating and ridiculing +all the sacred mysteries of religion, but also stagger the faith of a +great many well-meaning people, and afford but a too plausible +pretence for that sceptism which goes by the name of _free-thinking_, +and is of late so much the fashion. + +In another situation, perhaps, Natura would have been little affected +with any thing could have been said on this score; but health and +sickness make a wide difference in our way of thinking:--when +surrounded by the gay pleasures of life, and in the full vigour and +capacity of enjoying them, we either do not reflect at all, or but +cursorily on the evil day; but when cold imbecility steals upon us, +either through age or accidents, and death and eternity stare us in +the face, we have quite other sentiments, other wishes:--whoever +firmly believes, that in leaving this life, we but step into another, +either of happiness or misery, and that which ever it proves, will be +without end, or possibility of change, and that the whole of future +welfare depends on the road we take in going out of this world, will +be very fearful lest he should chuse the wrong; and it is not +therefore strange, that while, with equal force, the _papist_ pulled +one way, and the _protestant_ another, the poor penitent should be +involved in the most terrible uncertainty. + +Happy, therefore, was it, both for the recovery of his mind and body, +that his physicians finding all their recipes had little effect, +advised him to seek relief from the waters of the Spa, and as it was +their opinion, they would be of more efficacy, when drank upon the +spot, he accordingly took his journey thither, but by reason of his +weakness, was obliged to be carried the whole way in a litter. + +It is very probable, that being eased of the perplexities the +incessant admonitions of the priests of different opinions had given +him, contributed as much as the waters to his amendment; but to which +ever of these causes it may be imputed, it is certain that he every +day became better, and as his strength of body returned, so did that +of his mind, in proportion; with his apprehensions of death, his +disquiets about matters of religion subsided also, and whenever any +thing of that kind came cross his thoughts, it was but by starts, and +was soon dissipated with other ideas, which many objects at this place +presented him with. + +But that to which he was chiefly indebted for the recovery of his +former gaiety of temper, was meeting with an English family, with whom +he had been extremely intimate; the lady had come thither for the same +purpose he had done, her husband being very tender of her, would needs +accompany her, and they brought with them their only daughter, a young +lady of great beauty, and not above eighteen, in hopes, as they said, +of alleviating a certain melancholly, to which she was addicted, +without any cause, at least any that was visible, for it. + +Natura had often seen the amiable Maria (for so she was called) but +had never felt for her any of those pleasing, and equally painful, +emotions, which a nearer conversation with her now inspired him +with:--he had always thought her very handsome, but she now appeared +perfectly adorable in his eyes:--the manner of her behaviour, that +modest sweetness which appeared through her whole deportment, and +seemed, as it were, a part of her soul, had for him irresistible +charms; and as he very well knew the circumstances of her family, such +as his friends could make no reasonable objections against, nor his +own such as could be thought contemptible by those of her kindred, he +attempted not to repel the satisfaction which he felt, in the hopes of +being one day able to make an equal impression on her heart. + +The very first use he made of his intire recovery from his late +indisposition, was an endeavour to convince her how much her presence +had contributed to it, and that the supremest wish his soul could +form, was to enjoy it with her in the nearest, and most tender union, +as long as life continued.--She received the declarations he made her +of his passion with great reserve, and yet more coldness; and affected +to take them only for the effects of a gallantry, which she told him +was far from being agreeable to a person of her humour: but he +imputing her behaviour only to an excess of that extreme modesty which +accompanied all her words and actions, was so far from being rebuffed +at it, that he acquainted her parents with his inclination, and, at +the same time, intreated their permission for prosecuting his +addresses to her. + +Both of them heard his proposals with a joy which it was impossible +for either, especially the mother of that lady, to conceal:--each +cried out, almost at the same time, that the sentiments he expressed +for their daughter, was an honour they hoped she had too much good +sense not to accept with the utmost satisfaction, and added, that they +would immediately lay their commands upon her, to receive him in the +manner she ought to do. + +As their families and fortunes were pretty equivalent, and Maria, +besides her being an heiress, had beauty enough to expect to marry, +even above her rank, Natura could not keep himself from being a little +astonished at the extravagance of pleasure they testified at the offer +he had made: parents generally take some time to consider, before they +give their assent to a proposal of this sort; and as he knew they were +very well acquainted with the occasion of his leaving England this +second time, and were of a party the most opposite that could be to +that he was suspected to have favoured, their extreme readiness to +dispose of their only daughter, and with her their whole estate, to +him seemed the more strange, as he had been, ever since he conceived a +passion for Maria, in the most terrible apprehension of meeting with a +different reception from them, meerly on the account of his supposed +principles. + +The transport, however, that so unexpected a condescension gave him, +prevented him from examining too deeply what might be the motives that +induced them to it, and he gave himself wholly up to love, gratitude, +and the delightful thoughts of being in a short time possessed of all +he at present wished, or imagined he ever should ask of Heaven. + +But how were all these rapturous expectations dashed, when soon after +going to visit Maria, he found her lovely eyes half drowned in tears, +and her whole frame in the utmost disorder:--'What, madam,' cried he, +with a voice which denoted both grief and surprize, 'can have +happened, to give you any cause of the disquiet I see in you!'--'You,' +replied she, snatching away her hand, which he had taken, 'you alone +are the cause;--what encouragement did I ever give you,' continued +she, 'that should make you imagine the offers you have made my parents +would be agreeable to me?--Did I ever authorize you to ask a consent +from them, which I was determined never to grant myself, and which, I +will suffer a thousand deaths rather than ratify.' + +The confusion Natura was in at these words was so great, that it +prevented him from making any answer; but he looked on her in such a +manner as made her ashamed of what she had said, and perhaps too of +the passion that had so far transported her; and perceiving he still +continued silent, 'I own myself obliged for the affection you express +for me,' resumed she, with more mildness, 'though it is at present the +greatest misfortune could have happened to me. Could I have thought +you would have declared yourself in the manner you have done to my +father and mother, I would have convinced you how impossible it would +be for you to reap any advantage from it, and that by so doing you +would only make me the most wretched creature in the world; but all is +now too late, and I foresee the cruel consequence.'--Here her tears +interrupted the passage of her words, and Natura having recollected +himself, began to complain of the severity of his destiny, which +compelled him to _love_ with the most violent passion a person who +could only return it with an equal degree of hate.--'Love,' replied +she, with a deep sigh, 'is not in our power;--let me therefore conjure +you, by all that which you pretend to have for me, to proceed no +farther in this business, nor endeavour to prevail on my parents to +force an inclination, which no obligations to them, services from you, +or length of time can ever influence in your favour; for be assured, +that if you do, you will only see the hand should be given you at the +altar, employed in cutting my own throat, or plunging a dagger in my +breast.' + +With these words, and an air that had somewhat of wildness in it, she +flung out of the room, leaving him in a consternation impossible to +describe, almost to conceive; her mother came in immediately after, +and judging by his countenance how her daughter had behaved, told him +he must not regard the coyness of a young girl; that she doubted not +but Maria would soon be convinced what was her true happiness; and +that a little perseverance and assiduity on his side, and authority on +theirs, would remove all the scruples, bashfulness alone had created +in her: 'No, madam,' answered he, with some impatience, 'there is +somewhat more than all this you have mentioned, against me;--there is +a rooted detestation to me in the very soul of Maria, which as I +cannot but despair of being ever able to remove, common reason bids me +attempt no farther.' + +The mother of Maria appeared very much perplexed, and said a great +deal to perswade him that his apprehensions were without foundation; +but the young lady had expressed herself in terms too strong for him +not to be perfectly assured she was in earnest; and being willing to +ruminate a little on the affair, he took leave, though not without the +other extorting a promise from him, of coming again the next day. + +Natura had not given himself much time to reflect, before he conceived +great part of the truth:--he could not think either his person or +qualifications so contemptible, as to inspire a heart unprepossessed +by some other object, with an aversion such as Maria had expressed: he +therefore concluded, she had disposed of her affections before she +knew of his: it also seemed plain to him that her parents were not +ignorant of her attachment, and being such as they could not approve +of, it was that which had rendered them both so ready to snatch at his +proposal, without any mention of those considerations they would +otherwise naturally have had of jointure, settlements, and all those +things, previous to marriage, between persons of condition. + +He was the more confirmed in this belief, when the father came to his +lodgings the next morning; and without seeming to know any thing of +what had passed between him, either with his wife, or Maria, asked, in +a gay manner, how the latter had received his addresses? To which +Natura answered in the same manner as he had done to her mother; +adding only, that he could not avoid believing her heart was already +engaged to some more worthy man, and was sorry his own unhappy passion +had occasioned any interruption. The father left nothing unsaid that +might dissipate such a conjecture, and affected to railly him on a +jealousy which, he said, was common to lovers; and then told him a +long story how himself had formerly suffered much by the same vain +imagination. But all this was so far from making Natura doubt the +truth of his conjectures, that, seeing through the artifice, he was +the more convinced they were intirely right. + +He went, notwithstanding, in the afternoon, either because he had +promised to do so, or because he could not all at once resolve to +banish himself from a person he took so much pleasure in beholding, +though now without hopes of ever being able to obtain:--being left +alone with Maria, both of them remained in a kind of sullen silence +for some minutes, till at last the force of his passion in spite of +himself made him utter some complaints on the cruelty of fortune, and +his own insensibility, which had denied him the opportunity of +discovering the thousand charms he now found in her, till too late to +have his adoration of them acceptable to her. 'I have not less +reason,' said she, 'to accuse the chance which at this time brought us +together, than you can possibly have; since the love you profess for +me, and which I once more assure you I can never return, has laid me +under the severest displeasure of my parents';--'but I had hopes,' +continued she, 'after the declaration I made you yesterday, that you +would have renounced all pretensions to me, and had generosity enough +in your nature, not to have taken the advantage of my father and +mother's power over me, to force me into a compliance, which must be +fatal to one or both of us.' + +'No, madam,' answered he, much surprized, 'I am far from even a wish +of becoming guilty of what you accuse me with;--dear as I prize your +person, I would not attempt to purchase it at the expence of your +peace of mind; nor could I be truly blessed in the enjoyment of the +_one_, without the _other_;--it is only to Maria herself I would have +been obliged, not to the authority of her parents.' + +'Will you then quit me,' cried she hastily, 'and let the act appear +wholly your own?'--'I will,' replied he, after a pause, 'difficult as +it is to do so, and irresolute and inconstant as it will make me +seem.' 'That,' said she, 'will be an action truly deserving my esteem; +and in return, know I am much more your friend in refusing your +addresses, than either my parents in encouraging, or your own mistaken +wishes in offering them':--'but,' pursued she, 'I beg you will enquire +no farther, but leave me, and break off with my parents in the best +manner you can.' + +Fain would he have obtained a farther explanation of words, which +seemed to him to contain some mystery, as indeed they did; but she was +no less inflexible to his intreaties on that score, than she had been +to those of his love; and perceiving his presence gave her only pain, +he went out of the house with an aking and agitated heart, but +resolved to do as she desired and he had promised, whatever pangs it +cost him. + +He had not gone above an hundred paces on his way home, before he was +accosted by a man who seemed like an upper-servant in a gentleman's +family, and who, with a low bow, delivered him a letter, which, on +seeing directed to himself, he hastily opened, and found contained +these lines: + + Sir, + + "If you have any thing in you of the gallantry, generosity, or + gratitude, for which your country is famed, come where the bearer + will conduct you, to a woman, who has suffered much on your + account, and can be extricated from an unhappy affair only by your + advice." + +Natura was little in a humour to pursue an adventure of the kind this +seemed to be; but curiosity got the better of his spleen, and he bad +the fellow lead the way, and he would follow; which he accordingly +did, till they were out of the town, and from the sight of all the +houses. + +Being come into a field which was a kind of an inclosure, and a +theatre proper enough for the tragedy intended to be acted on it, the +fellow turned back, and drew a pistol, which he instantly discharged +at the head of Natura, crying at the same time, 'Maria sends you +this.'--Heaven so directed the bullets, that the one passed by his +ear, and the other only grazed upon his shoulder, without doing any +farther damage, than taking away a small piece of his sleeve. It is +easy to judge of his surprize, yet was it not so great as to disable +him from drawing his sword in order to revenge himself on the +assassin; but the wretch, in case his fire-arms should miscarry, had +provided a falchion concealed under his coat, with which, the same +instant, he ran furiously on Natura, and had certainly cleft him down, +tho' perhaps in doing so, he might have received his own death's wound +at the same time from the sword of his antagonist; but both these +events were happily prevented by the peculiar interposition of Divine +Providence: some reapers, who had lain asleep under an adjacent hedge, +being roused with the noise of the pistol, ran to the combatants, and +with their hooks beat down both their weapons; while at the same +fortunate crisis, two gentlemen attended by three servants, who +happening to cross a road which had a full prospect over the field, +had seen, at a distance, all that had passed, and came galloping up to +the assistance of Natura, who was then beginning to interrogate the +villain on the occasion of this attempt; but he refused to give any +satisfactory answer to what he said, so was dragged by the countrymen, +and others, who by this time were gathered together, back into the +town, and carried immediately before a magistrate, who, on his +obstinately refusing to make any confession, committed him to prison. + +Natura, who imagined nothing more certain, than that Maria had set +this fellow on to murder him, as the surest way to get rid of his +addresses, went directly to the house where she lodged, full of a +resentment equal to the detestable crime of which he thought her +guilty;--he found her in the room with her father and mother, of whom +he took little notice, but stepped forwards to the place where she was +sitting; and seeing her a little surprized, which indeed was +occasioned only by his sudden return, and the abrupt manner in which +he entered:--'You find, madam,' said he, with a voice broke with rage, +'your plot has miscarried;--Natura still lives, though it must be +owned your emissary did all could be expected to obey your commands, +for my destruction.' + +It is hard to say, whether Maria, or her parents, were in the greatest +consternation at these words; but he soon unravelled the mystery, by +relating the whole story, not omitting what the assassin said in +presenting the pistol, and then as a confirmation throwed the letter +he had received into Maria's lap, and at the same time shewed the +passage one of the bullets had made through the sleeve of his +coat:--the young lady no sooner cast her eyes upon the letter, than +she gave a great shriek, and crying out, 'O Humphry, Humphry! every +way my ruin!' immediately fell fainting on the floor; her father, +without regarding the condition she was in, snatched up the paper, the +hand-writing of which he presently recollected, as having, it seems, +intercepted several wrote by the same person;--'Abandoned, infamous +creature,' cried he;--'shame of thy sex and family,' added the mother, +striking her breast in the utmost agony:--in fine, never was such a +scene of distraction and despair!--Natura, injured as he had been, +could not behold it without compassion;--he ran by turns to Maria, +endeavouring to raise her,--then to her parents, beseeching them to +moderate their passion,--then to her again:--'You are too generous,' +said the father, 'let her die, happy had it been if she had perished +in the cradle':--Just as he spoke these words she revived, and lifting +up her eyes, 'O, I am no murd'ress,' cried she, 'guilty as I am, in +this Heaven knows my innocence.'--'It is false, it is false,' said the +father; 'but were it true, canst thou deny, thou most abandoned +wretch, that thou wert also ignorant that the villain who wrote this +letter had followed us to Spaw, and bring a second shame upon +us?'--She answered to this only with her tears, which assuring him she +had no defence to make on this article, his rage grew more inflamed; +he loaded her with curses, and could not keep himself from spurning +her with his feet, as she still lay groveling on the ground, and might +perhaps have proceeded to greater violences, had not Natura, by main +force, with-held him, while her mother, tho' little less incensed +against her, dragged her in a manner out of the room, more dead than +alive. + +The unhappy object removed from his sight, the provoked father grew +somewhat more calm, and turning to Natura, 'You see now, sir,' said +he, 'how unworthy this wretched girl is of that affection with which +you once honoured her; but how shall I obtain your pardon for what the +too great tenderness for an only child has made me guilty of to +you;--all I can say is, that I hoped she had been reclaimed, and so +far from even a wish to repeat her crimes, that she had only an utter +detestation for the villain that had seduced her.' + +Natura knew very well how he ought to judge of this affair; but as he +had an aversion to dissimulation, and was unwilling to add any thing +to the affliction he was witness to, he said little in answer to the +other's apology, but that he was extremely sorry for Maria, and the +misfortunes she had brought on the family; and then took his leave as +soon as decency would permit; but with a firm resolution to hold no +farther conversation, wherever they should hereafter happen to meet, +with persons who had all of them, in their several capacities, used +him so ill. + +The assassin was soon after brought to a public trial, where tortures +making him confess the truth, he acknowledged, that having been a +servant in the family, the beauty of Maria had inspired him with +desires, unbefitting the disparity between them;--that emboldened by +an extraordinary goodness she shewed to him, he had declared his +passion, and met with all the returns he wished;--that she became +pregnant by him, and had made a vow to keep herself single, till the +death of her father should leave her at liberty to marry him; but that +an unlucky accident having discovered their amour, he was turned out +of the house, and the grief Maria conceived at it occasioned an +abortion; but that after her recovery she contrived means to meet him +privately, and to support him with money, that he might not be obliged +to go to service any more; that she had acquainted him with their +coming to the Spa, and not only knew of his following them in disguise +to that place, but contrived a rendezvous where they saw each other +often, and he learned from her the addresses of Natura, and the +positive commands laid on her by her parents of marrying him, in order +to retrieve her honour and reputation; that as besides the extreme +love he had for her, his own interest obliged him to hinder the match, +if by any means he could; and finding no other than the death of his +rival, he had attempted it by the way already mentioned: but cleared +Maria, however, of all guilt on this score, who, he assured the court, +knew nothing of his intentions of murder. + +The sentence passed on him was, to be hanged in chains, which was +accordingly executed in a few days; though Natura, pitying his case, +in consideration of the greatness of the temptation, laboured for a +mitigation of his doom.--He never saw the unfortunate Maria +afterwards, but heard she was in a condition little different from +madness, which making her parents think it improper she should return +to England, they conveyed her to Liege, where they placed her as a +pensioner in the convent of English nuns, there to remain till time +and reflection should make a change in her, fit to appear again in the +world; which proceeding in them shewed, that whatever aversion some +people have to _this_, or _that_ form of religion, they can +countenance, nay, pretend to approve it, when it happens to prove for +their convenience to do so. + +Natura was now intirely cured of his passion, but could not avoid +feeling a very tender commiseration for her, who had been the unhappy +object of it; he found also, on meditating on every passage of this +adventure, that she was infinitely less to blame, in regard to him, +than her parents had been; and that what he had accused, as cruel in +her, was much more kind than the favour they had pretended for +him.--When he reflected on the gulph of misery he had so narrowly +escaped, he was filled with the most grateful sentiments to that +Providence which had protected him; and also made sensible, that what +we often pray for, as the greatest of blessings, would, if obtained, +prove the severest curse:--a reflection highly necessary for all who +desire any thing with too much ardency. + + + + +CHAP. V. + + Shews that there is no one human advantage to which all others + should be sacrificed:--the force of ambition, and the folly of + suffering it to gain too great an ascendant over us;--public + grandeur little capable of atoning for private discontent; among + which jealousy, whether of love or honour, is the most tormenting. + + +The desire of being well settled in the world is both natural and +laudable; but then great care ought to be taken to moderate this +passion, in order to prevent it from engrossing the mind too much; for +it is the nature of ambition, not only to stop at nothing that tends +to its gratification, but also to be ever craving new acquisitions, +ever unsatisfied with the former.--One favourite point is no sooner +gained, than another appears in view, and is pursued with the same +eagerness:--what we once thought the _summum bonum_ of our happiness, +seems nothing when we have attained to the possession of it, while +that which is unaccomplished, fires us with impatience, and robs us of +every enjoyment we might take in life. + +Natura having now been absent two years, thought the idle rumours +concerning him, as to his principles in party-matters, would be pretty +much silenced, so began to think of returning to England; he was the +more encouraged to do so, as he found by his letters, that those in +the ministry, who had appeared with most virulence against him, had +been removed themselves, and that a considerable change in public +affairs had happened. Accordingly, he set forward with all the +expedition he could, feeling not the least regret for leaving a +country he had never liked, nor where he had ever enjoyed any real +satisfaction, and had been so near being plunged into the worst of +misfortunes, that of an unhappy marriage:--no ill accident +intervening, he arrived in England, and proceeded directly to London, +where he was received with an infinity of joy by his father and +sister, who happened at that time to come to town with her spouse, in +order to place a young son they had at Westminster school. + +The better genius of Natura now took its turn, and prevailed over his +ill one: the person whose turbulent zeal had occasioned his late +misfortune, had since, being detected in some mal practice in other +affairs, been cashiered from an office he held under the government, +and was in the utmost disgrace himself: every body was now assured, +that Natura had done no more than what became any man of spirit and +honour; and those who before had condemned, now applauded his +behaviour: in fine, every thing happened according to his wishes, and, +to crown his happiness, he married about ten months after his arrival, +a young beautiful lady, of his father's recommendation, and who had +indeed all the qualifications that can render the conjugal state +desirable. + +The promotion of a member of parliament to the house of peers for that +county in which their estate lay, happening soon after, he stood for +the vacant seat, and easily obtained it:--nothing now seemed wanting +to compleat his perfect happiness, yet so restless is the heart of +man, that gaining much, it yet craves for more; Natura had always a +great passion for the court, meerly because it was a court, and gave +an air of dignity to all belonging to it; he longed to make one among +the shining throng; he was continually solliciting it, with an anxiety +which deprived him of any true enjoyment of the blessings of his life; +nor could all the arguments his father used to convince him of the +vanity of his desires, nor the soft society of a most endearing and +accomplished wife, render him easy under the many disappointments he +received in the prosecution of this favourite aim. + +The death of his father soon after, however, filled his bosom with +emotions which he had never felt before in any painful degree; he was +for some time scarce able to support the thoughts of having lost so +tender and affectionate a parent: but as nothing is so soon forgot as +death, especially when alleviated by the enjoyment of a greater +affluence of fortune, his grief wore off by pretty swift degrees, and +he was beginning to renew his pursuits after preferment, with the same +assiduity and ardency as ever, when his wife died in bringing into the +world a son. This second subject of sorrow struck indeed much more to +his heart than the former had done, as he now wanted that comforter he +had found in her.--All the consolation he had was in that little +pledge of their mutual affection she had left behind; and it was for +the sake of that dear boy, at least he imagined it so, that his +ambition of making a great figure in the world again, revived in him, +if possible, with greater energy than ever. + +As he was now in possession of a very fine estate, had an agreeable +person, rendered yet more so by all the advantages of education and +travel, and not quite six-and-thirty, when he became a widower, his +year of mourning was scarce expired, before all his friends and +acquaintance began to talk to him of another wife, and few days past +without proposals of that nature being made; but either the memory of +the former amiable partner of his bed, or the experience he had in his +own family of the ill effects that second marriages sometimes produce, +made him deaf, for a long time, to any discourses on that head, though +urged by those who, in other matters, had the greatest ascendant over +him. + +Though he was far from being arrived at those years which render a man +insensible of beauty, yet he was past those which had made him look on +the enjoyment of it as the supremest bliss:--the fond desires that +once engrossed him, had for some time given way to the more potent +ardors of ambition;--he now made not love his _business_ but +_amusement_; the amours he had were only transient, and merely to fill +the vacancy of an idle hour: his thoughts were so wholly taken up with +advancing himself, and becoming a man of consequence in the world, +that it may be reasonably supposed, by his behaviour, and the manner +in which he rejected all the offers made to him, that had he met with +a woman, in whom all the perfections of the sex were centered, she +would not have been able either to engage him to a serious attachment, +or to have quitted those more darling pursuits, which the desire of +greatness fired him with. + +Thus fortified by his present inclinations against all the charms of +youth, of wit, of beauty, there was but one temptation he had not the +power of withstanding, and that one his ill fate at length presented +to him. A certain great person, who at that time was at the head of +public affairs, had a neice, who for many private reasons, he found it +necessary to dispose of in marriage: Natura was the man he happened to +pitch upon, as one who seemed to him a very proper person, and +accordingly made him the offer, accompanied with a promise of getting +him into a great post, which he knew he had been for a long time, and +was still, solliciting, though without any prospect of success, +without his assistance. + +The young lady was not ugly, yet far from being mistress of charms +capable of captivating a heart which had been filled with so many +images of different beauties; but, as I have already said, love was +not now the reigning passion of Natura's soul, and had she been much +less amiable, the dowery she was to bring, sufficiently compensated +for all other deficiencies, according to his present way of judging. + +He hesitated not a moment to accept the minister's proposal; and a +long courtship, as things were ordered between them, being needless, +he became again a husband, in a very few days, after the first mention +had been made of it, and at the same time was put in possession of +what was much more welcome to him than his bride, even tho' she had +been endowed with every virtue, every grace. + +All for a time went smoothly on:--he saw himself in a rank and +precedence, his birth could never have expected:--his wife's uncle +loaded him with favours; he procured a commission of lieutenant in the +guards for his younger brother by his mother-in-law, whom, in spite of +the ill usage, with which both himself and his father had been treated +by her, he had a very great affection for;--he also got employments +for several others of his kindred;--his house was the rendezvous of +the gay and titled world;--his friendship was courted by all his +acquaintance, and his interest at court created him so many +dependants, that his levee was little inferior to that of the minister +himself. + +This full attainment of all he wished, and even more than he had ever +dared to indulge the hope of, might well render him extremely +contented;--he was indeed pleased to excess, but the gladness of his +heart was so far a virtue in him, as it prevented him at first from +shewing any tokens of that pride, which a sudden variation of fortune +frequently excites. + +It is certain, his behaviour was such as gained him an equal share of +love and respect; and he had this addition to his other blessings, of +not having his advancement envied; a thing pretty rare about a court, +where there are so many gaping after every office that falls. + +They say ambition is a lust that is never quenched; and that the +enjoyment of much brings with it only an impatience for more; that +fresh objects, and new acquisitions, still presenting themselves, the +mind is ever restless, ever anxious in the endless pursuit.--It is +very likely this maxim might indeed have been verified in the mind of +Natura, after the hurry of transport for what he had already obtained +had been a little worn off, and made way for other aims; but he had +scarce given over congratulating himself on his success, before a +strange alteration, and such as he had least dreaded of, happened in +his humour, and rendered him wholly incapable of retaining the least +relish for all the blessings he possessed, and in which he so lately +placed the ultimate of his wishes. + +The compliments paid to him on his promotion and marriage, the giving +and receiving visits from all his kindred and friends, together with +the duties of his post, so much engrossed him for the first two or +three months, that he had not time to give any attention to his +domestic affairs, and happy would it have been for his peace if he had +always continued in a total negligence in this point, as the fatal +inspection plunged him into such distractions, as required many long +years to compose. + +In fine, he now discovered such dispositions to gallantry in his wife, +as inflamed him with jealousy, to such a degree as it would be +impossible to describe;--not that he had ever been possessed of any +extraordinary love or fondness on her account; but the injury which he +imagined was offered to his honour, by the freedoms with which she +entertained several of those young courtiers which frequented his +house, made him in a short time become the most discontented man +alive. + +Utterly impossible was it for him to conceal his disquiets; though the +fears he had of displeasing the minister made him attempt it, as much +as possible, and conscious of his ill dissimulation that way, the +little notice she took of a chagrin he knew she could not but observe, +very much added to it, as it seemed a certain proof of her +indifference for him; a behaviour so widely different from the amiable +tenderness of his former wife, dissipated all the little affection he +had for her, and it was not long before she became even hateful to +him; his jealousy however abated not with his love, her dishonour was +his own, her person was his property by marriage, and the thoughts of +any encroachment on his right were insupportable to him. + +Whether she was in fact as yet guilty of those violations of her duty, +which his imagination incessantly suggested to him she was, neither +himself, nor the world, were ever able to prove; but it is certain her +conduct was such, in every shape towards him, as gave but too much +room for suspicion in the least censorious, and which growing every +day more disagreeable to him, he at length had not the power of +feigning an inattention to it.--He remonstrated to her the value every +woman, especially those in high life, ought to set on her +reputation;--told her plainly, that the severest censures had been +past upon her, and without seeming to believe them just himself, +intreated her to act with more reserve for the future. + +All this, though delivered in the most gentle terms he could invent, +had no other effect than to set her into an immoderate laughter: +nothing could be more provoking, than the contempt with which she +treated his advice; and on his insisting at last, in terms which she +might think were somewhat too strong, on her being less frequently +seen with some persons he mentioned to her, she answered in the most +disdainful tone, that when she came to his years, she might, perhaps, +look on the pleasures of life with the same eyes he did; but while +youth and good humour lasted, she should deny herself no innocent +indulgencies, and was resolved, let him and the world say what they +would, not to anticipate old age and wrinkles. + +As Natura was not yet forty, in perfect health, and consequently not +past the prime of manhood, this reflection cast upon his years, could +not but add to his disgust of her that made it, and he replied with a +spite which was very visible in his countenance, that whatever +disparity there was between their ages, it would soon diminish by the +course of life she followed, and which, if she persisted in, would, in +a very little time, make her become an object below the voice of +censure. + +They must know little of the sex, that do not know no affront can be +so stinging as one offered to their beauty, even tho' conscious of +having no great share of it; but the wife of Natura had heard too many +flatteries, not to inspire her with the highest idea of her charms, +which the little respect he now testified to have for them, did not at +all abate, and only served to make her despise his stupidity, as she +termed it. + +No measures after this were kept between them; she seemed to take a +pleasure in every thing that gave him pain; she coquetted before his +face with every handsome man that came in her way, and in fine gave +herself such airs as the most patient husband could not have permitted +her long to persist in. Making use of the authority the laws had given +him, he, in a manner, forced her into the country, upwards of an +hundred miles from London, though it was then in the depth of winter, +and placed persons about her, with orders to prevent her from all +means of returning, till he should judge it proper for her so to do. + +On this she wrote to her uncle, complaining of the hard treatment she +received, and beseeching him to take some measures to oblige her +husband to restore her liberty. The minister, who had at that time +much greater concerns upon his hands on his own account, did not care +to give himself any trouble about private family affairs; he only just +mentioned to Natura the letter she had sent to him, and the purport of +it; and on his relating to him the reasons that had compelled him to +put this restraint on her behaviour, told him, he should not interfere +between them; so that Natura found he had nothing to apprehend for +what he had done. + +Finding this step had produced nothing for her purpose, she at last +condescended to submit to her justly offended husband; and on her +solemn and repeated promises of regulating her conduct for the future +in such a manner as he should approve, he was prevailed upon by her +seeming contrition, to consent to make trial how far her heart +corresponded with her professions:--it was agreed, to prevent the town +from inspecting too deeply on what had passed, that she should pretend +her absence from town had been the effect of her own choice, and for +giving the better colour, he went down himself, and brought her +up.--They lived together, after this, much better than they had done +for some months before their quarrel, and were now, in appearance, +perfectly reconciled; I say, in appearance, for all was outward shew, +neither of them had in their hearts the least true affection, nor +could forgive the other for what had passed between them. + +The excessive constraint which both put upon themselves, in order to +conceal the real sentiments of their hearts from each other, as well +as from the world, could not but be extremely painful:--Natura +suffered her as little as possible out of his sight, though he could +have wished a possibility of avoiding her for ever, and was obliged to +do all he could, to make that pass for a fondness of her presence, +which was indeed only the effect of his jealousy of her behaviour in +absence:--she affected to think herself happy in his company, for no +other reason, than to win him to an assurance of her reformation, as +might render him less observant than he had been of what she did, even +at the time (as was afterwards discovered) when she seemed most sorry +and angry with herself for having given him any cause of suspicion +since their marriage. + +Both, in fine, endured all that could make marriage dreadful, +especially Natura, who having with his former wife experienced all the +felicity of that state, was the more wretched by the sad alternative; +and as he could not sometimes forbear comparing the present with the +past, fell frequently into perfect convulsions of grief and remorse, +for having plunged himself into it. + +A perpetual dissimulation is what human nature finds among the things +which are impossible to perform;--and I am pretty certain, that the +most artful person that ever breathed, could not, at all times, and in +all circumstances, restrain so far his real inclinations, as to give +no indications of them to an observing eye; and it is scarce probable, +but that the very attempt in Natura and his wife, gave rise to as many +reflections on their conduct in this point, as there was too much room +to make on others. + +It was indeed a kind of farce acted by this unhappy pair, in which +both played their parts so aukwardly, that the real character would +frequently peep out, and though each dissembled, yet neither was +deceived; but as I said before, this could not last for ever; and the +ice being once broke in some unguarded humour either on the one or the +other side, I cannot pretend to affirm on which, the torrent of their +mutual disgust burst out with the greater force, for having been so +long pent up: it is hard to tell which testified the most virulence, +or expressed themselves in the most bitter terms:--all that can be +determined is, that those of Natura shewed most of _rage_, and those +his wife made use of, most of _hatred_. + +After having fully vented all that was in their souls against each +other, both became more calm; and agreed in this, as the only resource +for ease in their present unhappy situation, to banish for the future +all deceit between them, and never more pretend the least kindness or +good-will to each other when in private, to lie in separate beds, and +to be as seldom as possible alone together; but for the sake of both +their reputations to continue in the same house, and before company to +behave with reciprocal politeness. + +These terms rid Natura of a great part of that insupportable +constraint he had been under, but gave not the least satisfaction, as +to his jealousy of honour; he doubted not but she would be guilty of +many things, injurious in the highest degree to their public +character, and which yet it would not so well become him to exert his +authority in opposing, and these reflections gave him the most +terrible inquietude; which shews, that though _jealousy_ is called the +child of _love_, it is very possible to feel all the tortures of the +_one_, without being sensible of any of the douceurs of the _other_ +passion. + +How dearly now did Natura pay for the gratification of his +ambition!--What availed his grandeur, the respect paid him by his +equals, and the homage of the inferior world!--What the pride of +having it in his power to confer favours, when he had himself a heart +torn with the most fierce convulsions, and less capable of enjoying +the goods of fortune, than the most abject of those indigent +creatures, who petitioned for relief from him!--By day, by night, +alone, or in company, he was haunted with ideas the most distracting +to his peace.--A smile on the face of his wife, seemed to him to +proceed from the joy of having made some new conquest; a grave or +melancholly look, from a disappointment on the account of a favourite +gallant: yet as her person was the least thing he was tenacious of, +the behaviour of others gave him greater pain than any thing she could +do herself;--whoever spoke handsomely of her, he imagined insulted +him; and those who mentioned her not at all, he thought were sensible +of her levity, and his misfortune:--every thing he saw or heard, +seemed to him a sad memento of his dishonour; and though he could not +assure himself she had in fact been guilty of a breach of her virtue, +he was very certain she had been so of that reserve and modesty which +is the most distinguishable characteristic of it, and took from him +the power of vindicating her innocence, or his own honour even though +he had believed them safe, as becomes a husband, whose wife is more +cautious of her conduct in this point. + +Too delicate of the censure of the world, it gave him the utmost +anxiety how to carry himself, so as not to afford any room to have it +said he was either a jealous, or a too credulous husband; yet in spite +of all his care, he incurred both these characters:--those who had +heard of his sending her into the country, without being acquainted +with the motives for his so doing, looked on him as the former; and +those who saw her manner of behaviour, and the seeming politeness of +his treatment of her, imagined him the latter:--so difficult is it for +any one, who only sees the outside of things, to judge what they are +in reality; yet the vanity of having it believed they are let into +secrets, makes a great many people invent circumstances, and then +relate for matters of fact, what are indeed no more than the +suggestions of imagination, or, what is yet worse, the coinage of +their own brain, without believing themselves what they take upon them +to report to others. + +This undoubtedly happened on the score of Natura and his wife, and +occasioned not only many idle stories at tea-table conversation, but +also many oblique hints to be sometimes given to himself, which, +perhaps, there was not the least grounds for, but which greatly added +to his disquiets; as when we think we have reason to believe part, we +are ready to give credit to all we hear, especially in cases of this +nature; it being the peculiar property of jealousy, to force the mind +to grasp with eagerness, at every thing that tends to render it more +afflicted and perplexed. + + + + + + +BOOK the Third. + + + + +CHAP. I. + + Shews in what manner anger and revenge operate on the mind, and how + ambition is capable of stifling both, in a remarkable instance, that + _private injuries_, how great soever, may seem of no weight, when + _public grandeur_ requires they should be looked over. + + +Nothing is so violent as anger in its first emotions, it takes the +faculties by surprize, and rushes upon the soul like an impetuous +torrent, bearing down all before it: its strength, however, is owing +to its suddenness; for being raised by some new and unexpected +accident or provocation, reason has no warning of its approach, and +consequently is off her guard, and without any immediate power of +acting: the sweetest, and most gentle disposition, is not always a +sufficient defence for the mind, against the attacks of this furious +passion, and may be hurried by it to deeds the most opposite to its +own nature; but then as it is fierce, it is transient also; should its +force continue, it would lose its name, and be no longer anger, but +revenge; which, though the worst and most fiend-like propensity of a +vicious inclination, is sometimes excited by circumstances, that seem +in a great measure to alleviate the blackness of it:--repeated and +unprovoked insults, friendship and love abused, injuries in our +person, our fortune, or reputation, will sour the softest temper, and +are apt to make us imagine it is an injustice to our selves, not to +retaliate in kind, the ill treatment we receive. Religion, indeed, +forbids us to take our own parts thus far, and philosophy teaches, +that it is nobler to forgive, than punish wrongs; but every one is not +so happy as to have either of these helps; and I do not find but those +who boast both of them in the most superlative degree, stand in need +of something more, to enable them to restrain this prevailing impulse; +and that it is not so much to the precepts they receive from others, +as to some dictates from within, that many people are indebted for the +reputation of patience and forbearance. + +It is the peculiar providence of Heaven, as I took notice in the +beginning of this work, that the more ignoble passions of human +nature, are, generally speaking, opposites, and by that means serve as +a curb to bridle the inordinancy of each other; so that, though _one +alone_ would be pernicious to society, and render the person possessed +of it obnoxious to the world, _many_ will prevent the hurt, and make +the man himself tolerable. + +The adventure I am now going to relate, will prove that Natura had the +greatest excitements, and the greatest justification both for wrath +and revenge that could possibly be offered to any one man: yet did +another passion, not more excusable than either of these, suppress all +the turbulent emotions of both, and quench the boiling flames within +his soul, insomuch as to make him appear all calmness and +contentedness. + +But though I made use of the word passion to express the now +prevailing propensity of Natura's soul, I do not think that ambition, +strictly speaking, can come under that denomination:--to me it rather +seems the effect of an assemblage of other passions, than a passion +simple of itself, and natural to the mind of man; and I believe, +whoever examines it to the fountain head, will find it takes its +origin from pride and envy, and is nourished by self-love, nor ever +appears in any great degree, where these do not abound.--Were it born +with us, there would doubtless be some indications of it in +childhood, but it is observable, that not till man arrives at +maturity, and even not then, unless the sight of objects above himself +excites it, he discovers the least sensation of any such emotion.--In +fine, it is an inclination rarely known in youth, ordinarily declines +in age, and never exerts itself with vigour, as in the middle stage of +life, which I reckon to be from about five-and-twenty to fifty, or +somewhat more, according to the strength of the natural stamina, or +constitution.--But to go on with my history. + +Since Natura had been in what they call a settled state in the world, +it had always been his custom to distinguish the anniversary of that +day which gave him birth, by providing a polite entertainment for his +friends and kindred: he had now attained to his fortieth year, and +though it had been that in which he had known more poignant disquiets, +than in any one of his whole life before; yet thinking that to neglect +the observation of it now, would give occasion for remarks on his +reasons for so doing, he resolved to treat it with the usual ceremony. + +It was in that delightful season of the year, when nature, adorned +with all her charms, invites the senses to taste that regale in the +open air, which the most elegant and best concerted entertainments +within doors cannot atone for the want of. After dinner was over, the +whole company which was pretty numerous, adjourned from the table to +the garden, a small, but well ordered spot of ground, at the lower end +of which was a green-house, furnished with many curious exotic plants. +While Natura was shewing this collection to those of his guests, who +had a taste that way, others were diverting themselves with walking in +the alleys, or set down in arbors, according as their different +fancies inclined, as it is common for people to divide themselves into +little parties, when there are too many for all to share in a general +conversation. + +As they were thus employed, the minister, who though he had not +thought it beneath the dignity of his character to do honour to the +birth-day of the husband of his neice, yet had his mind taken up with +other things than the amusements of the place, took Natura aside on a +sudden, and asked him if he had not a paper in his custody, which he +had some time before put into his hands; to which the other answering +in the affirmative, 'There are some things in it I do not well +remember,' said the great man; 'and a thought just now occurs to me, +in which they may be of use':--Natura then offered to fetch it; 'No,' +replied the other, 'I will go with you, and we will examine it +together.' + +There was no need of making any apology to the company, they being, as +I have already said, dispersed in several parts of the garden; but had +they not been so, the statesman was absolute master wherever he came, +and no one would have taken umbrage at Natura's following him. + +They went hastily up stairs together, and the door of a room, thro' +which they were to pass to Natura's study, being shut, he gave a push +against it with his foot, and it being but slightly fastened, +immediately flew open, and discovered a sight no less unexpected than +shocking to both;--the wife, and own brother of Natura, on a couch, +and in a posture which could leave no room to doubt of the motive +which had induced them to take the opportunity of the company +separating themselves, to retire, without being missed, which, but for +this accident, they probably would not have been. + +It is easy to conceive what a husband must feel in so alarming a +circumstance, nor will any one wonder that Natura behaved in the +manner he did, in the first emotions of a rage, which might very well +be justified by the cause that excited it.--Not having a sword on, he +flew to the chimney, on each side of which hung a pistol; he snatched +one off the hook, and was going to revenge the injury he had received +on one or both the guilty persons, when the minister, stepping +between, beat down that arm which held the instrument of death, crying +at the same time, 'What, are you a madman!--would you to punish them +expose yourself!'--The passion with which Natura was overwhelmed was +too mighty for his breast; it stopped the passage of his words, and +all he could bring out was 'villain!'--'whore'--while those he called +so, made their escape from his fury, by running out of the room. In +attempting to follow them he was still with-held; and the minister +having with much ado got the pistol from him, began to expostulate +with him, in order to disarm his mind from pursuing any future +revenge, as he had done his hand from executing the present. + +'Consider,' said the statesman, 'that these are but slips of nature, +that there are in this town a thousand husbands in the same +situation:--indeed the affair happening with your own brother, very +much enhances the crime and the provocation; but as the thing is done, +and there is no remedy, it will but add to your disgrace to make it +public.' + +Little would it have been in the power of all the arguments in the +world, if made use of by any other person, to have given a check to +that just indignation Natura was inflamed with: but as patience and +moderation were prescribed him by one to whom he was indebted for all +the grandeur he enjoyed, and by whose favour alone he could hope for +the continuance, of it, he submitted to the task, difficult as it was, +and consented to make no noise of the affair. The minister assured him +he would oblige his brother to exchange the commission he was at +present possessed of, for one in a regiment that was going to +Gibraltar, 'which,' said he, 'will be a sufficient punishment for his +crime, and at the same time rid you of the sight of a person who +cannot but be now detestable to you;--as to your wife, I expect you +will permit her to continue in your house, in consideration of her +relation to me, but shall not interfere with the manner of your living +together;--that shall be at your own discretion.' + +As neither of them imagined the lady, after what had happened, would +have courage enough to go down to the company, it was agreed between +them to make her excuse, by saying, a sudden disorder in her head had +obliged her to absent herself. + +Natura cleared up his brow as much as it was possible for him to do in +such a circumstance, and returned with the minister to his guests, +among whom, as he supposed, he found neither his wife nor brother; as +for the latter, much notice was not taken of his absence, but the +ladies, by this time, were full of enquiries after her; on which he +immediately made the pretence above-mentioned; but unluckily, one of +the company having been bred to physic, urged permission to see her, +in order to prescribe some recipe for her ailment.--Natura was now +extremely at a loss what to do, till the minister, who never wanted an +expedient, relieved him, by telling the doctor, that his neice had +been accustomed to these kind of fits from her infancy, that it was +only silence and repose which recovered her, which being now gone to +take, any interruption would be of more prejudice than benefit. + +This passed very well, and no farther mention was made of her; but the +accident occasioned the company to take leave much sooner than +otherwise they would have done, very much to the ease of Natura, who +had been in the most intolerable constraint, to behave so as to +conceal the truth, and longed to be alone, to give a loose to the +distracting passions of his soul. + +The more he ruminated on the wrongs he had sustained, the more +difficult he found it to preserve that moderation the minister had +enjoined, and he had promised: he had long but too much reason to +believe his wife was false; but the thought that she had entered into +a criminal conversation with his own brother, rendered the guilt +doubly odious in them both.--Had not his own eyes convinced him of the +horrid truth, he could have given credit to no other testimony, that a +brother, whom he had always treated with the utmost affection, and +whose fortune it had been his care to promote, should have dared to +harbour even the most distant wish of dishonouring his wife. He +seemed, in his eyes, the most culpable of the two, and thought the +banishment intended for him much too small a punishment for so +atrocious a crime. It is certain that this young gentleman had not +only broke through the bands of duty, honour, gratitude, and every +social obligation, but had also sinned against nature itself, by +adding incest to adultery.--Natura could not indeed consider him as +any thing but a monster, and that as such he ought to be cut off from +the face of the earth; and neither reason nor humanity, could alledge +any thing against the dictates of a revenge, which by the most +unconcerned and disinterested person could not be called +unjust.--Strongly did its emotions work within his soul, and he was +more than once on the point of going in search of him, in order to +satiate its most impatient thirst, but was as often restrained, by +reflecting on the consequences.--'Suppose,' said he to himself, 'I +should escape that death the law inflicts for murder, in consideration +of the provocation, I cannot hope to preserve my employments.--I must +retire from the world, live an obscure life the whole remainder of my +days, and the whole shameful adventure being divulged, will render me +the common topic of table conversation, and entail dishonour and +contempt upon my son.' + +Thus did ambition get the better of resentment;--thus did the love of +grandeur extirpate all regard of true honour, and the shame of private +contempt from the world lie stifled in the pride of public homage. + +The minister in the mean time kept his word; he let the offending +brother know it was his pleasure he should dispose of his commission +in the guards, and purchase one in a regiment he named to him, which +was very speedily to embark for Gibraltar: the young gentleman obeyed +the injunction, and doubtless was not sorry to quit a place, where +some accident or other, in spite of all the care he had resolved to +take, might possibly bring him to the sight of a brother he had so +greatly injured, the thoughts of whose just reproaches were more +terrible to him, than any thing else that could befal him. + +The wife of Natura being also privately admonished by her uncle how to +behave, kept her chamber for some days, not only to give the better +colour to the pretence had been made of her indisposition, but also to +avoid the presence of her husband, till the first emotions of his fury +should be a little abated;--he, on the other hand, profited by this +absence, to bring himself to a resolution how to behave, when the +shock of seeing her should arrive:--as her crime was past recal, +reproaches and remonstrances would be in vain to retrieve her honour, +or his peace; and if they even should work her into penitence, what +would it avail? unless to soften him into a pity, which would only +serve to render him more uneasy, as there was now no possibility of +living with her as a wife.--Having, therefore, well weighed and +considered all these things, it seemed best to him to say nothing to +her of what had happened, and indeed to avoid speaking to her at all, +except in public. + +What she thought of a behaviour she had so little reason to expect, +and what effect it produced on her future conduct, shall hereafter be +related: I shall only say at present, that Natura gave himself no pain +to consider what might be her sentiments on the occasion, as long as +he found her uncle was perfectly satisfied with his manner of acting +in this point, which he had no reason to doubt of, not only by the +assurances he gave him in words of his being so, but by a more +convincing and substantial proof, which was this; an envoy +extraordinary being about to be sent to a foreign court, on a very +important negociation, he had the honour of being recommended, as a +gentleman every way qualified for the duties of that post.--The +minister's choice of him was approved by the king and council, and he +set out on his embassy, with an equipage and state, which, joined to +the attention he gave to what he was employed in, greatly dissipated +the chagrin of his private affairs, and he seemed to have forgot, for +a time, not only the injuries he had received, but also even the +persons from whom he had received them. + + + + +CHAP. II. + + Shews at what age men are most liable to the passion of grief: the + impatience of human nature under affliction, and the necessity there + is of exerting reason, to restrain the excesses it would otherwise + occasion. + + +There are certain periods of time, in which the passions take the +deepest root within us; what at one age makes but a slight impression, +and is easily dissipated by different ideas, at another engrosses all +the faculties, and becomes so much a part of the soul, as to require +the utmost exertion of reason, and all the aids of philosophy and +religion to eradicate.--Grief, for example, is one of those passions +which, in extreme youth, we know little of, and even when we grow +nearer to maturity, has rarely any great dominion, let the cause which +excites it be never so interesting, or justifiable: it may indeed be +poignant for a time, and drive us to all the excesses imputed to that +passion; but then it is of short continuance, it dwells not on the +mind, and the least appearance of a new object of satisfaction, +banishes it entirely; we dry our tears, and remember no more what so +lately we lamented, perhaps with the most noisy exclamations:--but it +is not so when riper years give a solidity and firmness to the +judgment;--then as we are less apt to grieve without a cause, so we +are less able to refrain from grieving, when we have a real +cause.--Grief may therefore be called a reasonable passion, tho' it +becomes not a reasonable man to give way to it;--this, at first sight, +may seem a paradox to many people, but may easily be solved, in my +opinion, on a very little consideration;--as thus,--because to be +sensible of our loss in the value of the thing for which we mourn, is +a proof of our judgment, as to refrain that mourning for what is past +retrieving, within the bounds of moderation, is the greatest proof we +can give of our reason:--a dull insensibility is not a testimony, +either of wisdom or virtue; we are not to bear afflictions like +_statues_, but like men; that is, we are allowed to _feel_, but not to +_repine_, or be _impatient_ under them:--few there are, however, who +have the power of preserving this happy medium, as I before observed, +tho' they are such as have the assistance both of precept and +experience. + +In a word, all that can be expected from the best of men, when pressed +with any heavy calamity, is to struggle with all his might to bear up +beneath the weight with decency and resignation; and as grief never +seizes strongly on the mind, till a sufficient number of years gives +reason strength to combat with it, that consideration furnishes matter +for praise and adoration of the all-wise and all-beneficent Author of +our being, who has bestowed on us a certain comfort for all ills, if +we neglect not to make use of it; so that no man can be unhappy, +unless he will be so. + +Motives for grief which happen on a sudden merit excuse for the +extravagancies they sometimes occasion, because they surprize us +unawares, reason is off her guard, and it cannot be expected we should +be armed against what we had no apprehensions of;--presence of mind is +an excellent, but rare quality, and we shall see very few, even among +the wisest men, who are such examples of it, as to behave in the first +shock of some unforeseen misfortune, with the same moderation and +calmness of temper, as they would have done, had they had previous +warning of what was to befal them. + +Much, however, are the effects of this, as of all other passions, +owing to constitution:--the robust and sanguine nature soon kindles, +and is soon extinguished; whereas the phlegmatic is slow to be moved, +and when so not easily settled into a calm: and tho' the difference of +age makes a wide difference in our way of thinking, yet as there are +old men at twenty, and boys at three-score, that rule is not without +some exceptions. But to take nature in the general, and allowing for +the different habits of body and complexion, we may be truly said to +be most prone to particular passions at particular ages:--as in youth, +love, hope, and joy;--in maturity, ambition, pride, and its attendant +ostentation;--when more advanced in years, grief, fear, and +despair;--and in old age, avarice, and a kind of very churlish dislike +of every thing presented to us. + +But to return to Natura, from whose adventures I have digressed; but I +hope forgiveness for it, as it was not only the history of the man I +took upon me to relate, but also to point out, in his example, the +various progress of the passions in a human mind. + +He acquitted himself of the important trust had been reposed in him, +with all the diligence and discretion could be expected from him; and +returned honoured with many rich presents from the prince to whom he +had been sent, as a testimony of the sense he had of his abilities. + +But scarce had he time to receive the felicitations of his friends on +this score, before an accident happened to him, which demanded a much +more than equal share of condolance from them.--His son, his only son, +the darling of his heart, was seized with a distemper in his head, +which in a very few days baffled the art of medicine, and snatched +him from the world.--What now availed his honours, his wealth, his +every requisite for grandeur, or for pleasure?--He, for whose sake +chiefly he had laboured to acquire them, was no more!--no second self +remained to enjoy what he must one day leave behind him.--All of him +was now collected in his own being, and with _that_ being must +end.--Melancholly reflection!--yet not the worst that this unhappy +incident inflicted:--his estate, all at least that had descended to +him by inheritance, with the vast improvements he had made on it, must +now devolve on a brother he had so much cause to hate, and whose very +name but mentioned struck horror to his heart. + +The motives for his grief were great, it must be allowed, and such as +demanded the utmost fortitude to sustain;--he certainly exerted all he +was master of on this occasion; but, in spite of his efforts, nature +got the upper hand, and rendered him inconsolable:--he burst not into +any violent exclamations, but the silent sorrow preyed on his vitals, +and reduced him, in a short time, almost to the shadow of what he had +been. + +One of the most dangerous effects of melancholy is, the gloomy +pleasure it gives to every thing that serves to indulge it:--darkness +and solitude are its delight and nourishment, and the person possessed +of it, naturally shuns and hates whatever might alleviate it;--the +sight of his best friends now became irksome to him;--he not only +loathed, but grew incapable of all business;--he shut himself in his +closet, shunned conversation, was scarce prevailed on to take the +necessary supports of nature, and seemed as if his soul was buried in +the tomb of his son, and only a kind of vegetative life remained +within him. + +His sister, who loved him very affectionately, and for whom he had +always preserved the tenderest amity, being informed of his +disconsolate condition, came to town, flattering herself with being +able to dissipate, at least some part of his chagrin. To this end she +brought with her all her children, some of whom he had never seen, and +had frequently expressed by letter, the desire he had of embracing +them, and the regret he had that the great affairs he was always +constantly engaged in, would not permit him time to take a journey +into the country where she lived. + +But how greatly did she deceive herself;--he was too far sunk in the +lethargy of grief, to be roused out of it by all her kind +endeavours;--on the contrary, the sight of those near and dear +relatives she presented to him only added to his affliction, by +reminding him in a more lively manner of his own loss; and the sad +effect she found their presence had on him, obliged her to remove them +immediately from his eyes. + +She could not, however, think of quitting him in a state so truly +deplorable, and so unbecoming of his circumstances and character:--she +remained in his house, would pursue him wherever he retired, and as +she was a woman of excellent sense, as well as good-nature, invented a +thousand little stratagems to divert his thoughts from the melancholly +theme which had too much engrossed them, but had not the satisfaction +to perceive that any thing she could say or do, occasioned the least +movement of that fixed sullenness, which, by a long habit, appeared +like a second nature in him. + +This poor lady found also other matters of surprize and discontent, on +her staying in town, besides the sad situation of her brother's +health:--as she had never been informed of the disunion between him +and his wife, much less of the occasion of it, the behaviour of that +lady filled her with the utmost astonishment:--to perceive she took no +pains to alleviate his sorrows, never came into the room where he was, +or even sent her woman with those common compliments, which he +received from all who had the least acquaintance with him, would have +afforded sufficient occasion for the speculation of a sister; yet was +this manifest disregard, this failure in all the duties of a wife, a +friend, a neighbour, little worthy of consideration, when put in +comparison with her conduct in other points. + +After the adventure of her detection, finding the minister was +resolved to support her, and that her husband durst not come to any +open breach with her, she immediately began to throw aside all regard +for decorum;--she seemed utterly to despise all sense of shame, and +even to glory in a life of continual dissolution;--the company she +kept of both sexes, were, for the most part, persons of abandoned +characters: whether she indulged herself in a plurality of amours, is +uncertain, though it was said she did so; but there was one man to +whom she was most particularly attached;--this was a person who had +formerly enjoyed a post under the government, but was turned out on +the score of misbehaviour, and had now no other support than what he +received from her:--with him she frequently passed whole nights, and +took so little care in concealing the place of their meeting, that the +sister of Natura easily found it out. + +On relating the discovery she had made to some of their relations, +they advised her to tell her brother, imagining this glaring insult on +his honour would effectually rouse him out of the stupidity he +languished under:--she was of the same opinion, and took the first +opportunity of letting Natura into the whole infamous affair, not +without some apprehensions, that an excess of rage on hearing it, +might hurry him into a contrary extreme; but her terrors on this head +were presently dissipated, when having repeated many circumstances to +corroborate the truth of what she said, there appeared not the least +emotion in his countenance; and on her urging him to take some +measures to do himself justice, or at least to put a stop to this +licentiousness of a person whose dishonour was his own; all she could +get from him was, that he had neither regard enough for her to take +any pains for the reclaiming her, nor for the censure of the world on +himself, and desired she would not trouble him any farther on this +point. + +This strange insensibility afforded cause to fear his faculties were +all too deeply absorbed in melancholy, for him ever to become a man of +the world again, and as she truly loved him, gave both her, and all +his other friends, an infinite concern. + + + + +CHAP. III. + + The struggles which different passions occasion in the human breast, + are here exemplified; and that there is no one among them so strong, + but may be extirpated by another, excepting _revenge_, which knows + no period, but by gratification. + + +Though it must be acknowledged, that the passions, generally speaking, +operate according to the constitution, and seem, in a manner, wholly +directed by it, yet there is one, above all, which actuates alike in +all, and when once entertained, is scarce ever extinguished:--it may +indeed lie dormant, for a time, but then it easily revives on the +least occasion, and blazes out with greater violence than ever. I +believe every one will understand I mean _revenge_, since there is no +other emotion of the soul, but has its antedote: _grief_ and _joy_ +alternately succeed each other;--_hope_ has its period in +possession;--_fear_ ceases, either by the cause being removed, or by a +fatal certainty of some dreaded evil;--_ambition_ dies within us, on a +just sense of the folly of pursuing it;--_hate_ is often vanquished by +good offices;--even greedy _avarice_ may be glutted; and _love_ is, +for the most part, fluctuating, and may be terminated by a thousand +accidents.--_Revenge_ alone is implacable and eternal, not to be +banished by any other passion whatsoever;--the effects of it are the +same, invariable in every constitution; and whether the man be +phlegmatic or sanguine, there will be no difference in his way of +thinking in this point. The principles of religion and morality indeed +may, and frequently do, hinder a man from putting into action what +this cruel passion suggests, but neither of them can restrain him who +has revenge in his heart, from wishing it were lawful for him to +indulge it. + +This being so fixed a passion, it hardly ever gains entrance on the +mind, till a sufficient number of years have given a solidity to the +thoughts, and made us know for what we wish, and why we wish.--Every +one, however, does not experience its force, and happy may those be +accounted who are free from it, since it is not only the most +unjustifiable and dangerous, but also the most restless and +self-tormenting emotion of the soul. + +There are, notwithstanding, some kind of provocations, which it is +scarce possible, nor indeed consistent with the justice we owe to +ourselves, to bury wholly in oblivion; and likewise there are some +kinds of revenge, which may deserve to be excused; of these, that +which Natura put in practice, as shall presently be shewn, may be +reckoned of the number. + +I doubt not, but my readers, as well as all those who were acquainted +with him at that time, will believe, that in the situation I have +described, he was for ever lost to the sense of any other passion, +than that which so powerfully engrossed him, and from which all the +endeavours hitherto made use of, had been ineffectual to rouse him. +But it often happens, that what we least expect, comes most suddenly +upon us, and proves that all human efforts are in vain, without the +interposition of some supernatural power. + +I have already said, that the bad conduct of his wife had been +repeated over and over to him without his discovering the least +emotion at it; yet would not his sister cease urging him to resent it +as became a man sensible of his dishonour, that is, to rid himself, by +such ways as the law puts it in the power of a husband so injured, to +get rid of her; and imagining that an ocular demonstration of her +crime, would make a greater impression on him, than any report could +do, she set about contriving some way to bring him where his own eyes +might convince him of the truth of what he had been so often +told:--but how to prevail on him to go out of his house, which he had +not now seen the outside of for some months, was a difficulty not +easily surmounted:--the obstinacy of grief disappointed all the little +plots they laid for their purpose, and they were beginning to give +over all thoughts of any future attempts, when chance accomplished the +so-much desired work. + +He had ordered a monument to be erected over the grave of his beloved +son; which, being finished, and he told that it was so, 'I will see,' +said he, 'if it be done according to my directions.' Two or three of +his kindred were present when he took this resolution, and one of them +immediately recollecting, how they might make it of advantage to their +design, said many things in praise of the structure; but added, that +the scaffolding and rubbish the workmen had left, not being yet +removed, he would have him defer seeing it, till it was cleaned. To +this he having readily agreed, spies were placed, to observe the time +and place, where the lady and her favourite lover had the next +rendezvous. As neither of them had any great caution in their amour, a +full account was soon brought to the sister of Natura, who, with +several of their relations, came into his chamber, and told him that +the tomb was now fit to be seen in all its beauty. + +On this he presently suffered himself to be dressed, and went with +them; but they managed so well that, under pretence of calling on +another friend, who, they said, had desired to be of their company in +this melancholly entertainment, they led him to the house where his +wife and enamorato were yet in bed. The sister of Natura having, by a +large bribe, secured the woman of the house to her interest, they were +all conducted to the very scene of guilt, and this much injured +husband had a second testimony of the perfidy of his wife; but alas! +the first had made too deep an impression on him to leave room for any +great surprize; he only cooly turned away, and said to those who had +brought him there, that they needed not have taken all this pains to +make him a witness of what he was convinced of long before. + +His wife, however, was frighted, if not ashamed, and hid herself under +the bedcloaths, while her gallant jumped, naked as he was, out of the +window; but though Natura discovered very little emotion at all this, +yet whether it was owing to the arguments of his friends, or that the +air, after having been so long shut up from it, had an effect on him, +they could not determine, but had the satisfaction to find that he +consented an action in his name should be awarded against the lover, +and proper means used for obtaining a bill of divorce from his wife. + +The real motive of this change in him none of them, however, could +penetrate:--grief had for a while obliterated the thoughts of the +injustice and ingratitude of his brother, but what he had now beheld +reminding him of that shocking scene related in the first chapter of +this book, all his long stifled wishes for revenge returned with +greater force than ever; and thinking he could no way so fully gratify +them, as by disappointing him of the estate he must enjoy at his +decease, in case he died without issue, a divorce therefore would give +him liberty to marry again; and as he was no more than three-and-forty +years of age, had no reason to despair of having an heir, to cut +entirely off the claim of so wicked a brother. Having once began to +stir in the affair, it was soon brought to a conclusion.--The fact was +incontestable, and proved by witnesses, whose credit left no room for +cavil; a bill of divorce was granted on very easy terms, and the +gallant fined in so large a penalty, that he was obliged to quit the +kingdom, to avoid imprisonment for life. + +Thus did revenge produce an effect, which neither the precepts of +religion, philosophy, or morality, joined with the most tender and +pressing remonstrances of his nearest and dearest friends, could ever +have brought about;--and this instance, in my judgment, proves to a +demonstration, that it is so ordered by the all-wise Creator, that all +the pernicious passions are at continual enmity, and, like +counter-poisons, destroy the force of each other: and tho' it is +certain, a man may be possessed of many passions at once, and those +also may be of different natures, and tend to different aims, yet will +there be a struggle, as it were, between them in the breast, and which +ever happens to get predominance, will drive out the others in time, +and reign alone sole master of the mind. + + + + +CHAP. IV. + + Contains a further definition of _revenge_, its force, effects, and + the chasm it leaves on the mind when once it ceases. The tranquility + of being entirely devoid of all passions; and the impossibility for + the soul to remain in that state of inactivity is also shewn; with + some remarks on human nature in general, when left to itself. + + +I have already shewn, in the example of Natura, how not only +resentment for injuries, but even the extremest and most justifiable +_rage_, may be subjected to _ambition_, and afterwards how that +_ambition_ may be quelled and totally extinguished by _grief_; and +also that _grief_ itself, how violent soever it appears, may subside +at the emotions of _revenge_.--This last and worst passion alone finds +nothing capable of overcoming it, while the object remains in being. +It is true, that we frequently in the hurry of resentment, threaten, +and sometimes act every thing in our power, against the person who has +offended us, yet on his submission and appearing sorry for what he has +done, we not only forgive, but also forget all has past, and no longer +bear him the least ill will; but then, this passion, by which we have +been actuated, is not properly _revenge_, but _anger_, of which I have +already sufficiently spoke, and, I flatter myself, proved how wide the +difference is between these two emotions. + +Natura had no sooner taken it into his head to revenge himself in the +manner above related, on his transgressing brother, than he resumed +great part of his former chearfulness, conversed again in the world as +he had been accustomed; nor, though he perceived his interest with the +minister fall off ever since he had been divorced from his neice, and +easily foresaw, that he would, from his friend, become in time his +greatest enemy, yet it gave him little or no concern, so wholly were +his thoughts and desires taken up with accomplishing what he had +resolved. + +He was, however, for some time deliberating within himself to whom he +should direct his addresses on this score; the general acquaintance he +had in the world, brought many ladies into his mind, who seemed +suitable matches for him; but then, as they were of equal birth and +fortunes with himself, he reflected, that a long formal courtship +would be expected, and he was now grown too indolent to take that +trouble, as he was not excited by inclination to any of them, and had +determined to enter a third time into the bonds of matrimony, meerly +through the hope of depriving his brother of the estate. + +Besides, the accidents which had lately happened to him, had very much +altered his way of thinking, and though he had shaken off great part +of the chagrin they had occasioned, yet there still remained a certain +languor and inactivity of mind, which destroyed all the relish he +formerly had of the noisy pleasures of life:--he began now to despise +that farce of grandeur he once testified so high a value for, and to +look on things as they really deserved;--he found his interest with +those at the helm of public affairs, was very much sunk, and he was so +far from taking any steps to retrieve it, that he seldom went even to +pay that court to them, which his station demanded from him;--he grew +so weary of the post which he had, with the utmost eagerness, sought +after, and thought himself happy in enjoying, that he never rested +till he had disposed of it, which he did for a much less consideration +than it was really worth, meerly because he would be in a state of +perfect independency, and at full liberty to speak and act, according +to the dictates of his conscience, or his inclination. + +He was no sooner eased of his attendance at court by this means, than +he retired to his country seat, in which he now thought he found more +satisfaction, than the town, with all its hurrying pleasures could +afford; there he intended to pass the greatest part of the remainder +of his days, with some woman of prudence and good nature, which were +the two chief requisites he now wished to find in a wife.--There were +several well-jointured widows in the county where he resided, and also +young ladies of family and fortune, but he never made the least +overtures to any of them, and behaved with that indifference to the +sex, that it was the opinion of all who conversed with him, that he +never designed to marry again, when at the same time, he thought of +nothing more than to find a partner in that state, such as promised to +prove what he desired. + +To this end he watched attentively the behaviour of all those he came +in company with, and as he was master of a good deal of penetration, +and also no small experience in the sex, and besides was not suspected +to have any views that way, it is certain he had a good chance not to +be deceived. + +It was not among the fine ladies, the celebrated beauties, nor the +great fortunes, he sought himself a wife; but among those of a +middling rank; he only wished to have one who might bring him +children, and be addicted to no vice, or caprice, that should either +scandalize him abroad, or render him uneasy at home, and in all his +inspection, he found none who seemed so likely to answer his desires +in every respect as a young maid called Laetitia; she was the daughter +of a neighbouring yeoman, not disagreeable in her person, or +behaviour, yet possessed of no accomplishments, but those which nature +had bestowed: her father was an honest plain man, he had four sons and +two daughters, who had been married some time, and had several +children; Laetitia was his youngest, and promised to be no less +fruitful than her sisters; and this last was the chief inducement +which made Natura fix his choice upon her. + +Having resolved to seek no farther, he frequently went to the old +man's house, pretending he took delight in country affairs, would walk +with him about his grounds, and into his barns, and see the men who +were at work in them. One day he took an opportunity of going when he +knew he was abroad, designing to break his mind to the young Laetitia, +who, being her father's housekeeper, he did not doubt finding at home: +accordingly she was so; and, after some previous discourse, a little +boy of one of her sisters, being playing about the room, 'This it a +fine child,' said he; 'when do you design to marry, pretty Mrs. +Laetitia?'--'Should you not like to be a mother of such diverting +little pratlers?'--'It is time enough, sir,' replied she modestly, +'for me to think of any such thing.'--'If you get a good husband,' +resumed he, 'it cannot be too soon':--'Nor, if a bad one, too late,' +cried she, 'as there are great odds on that side.'--'That is true,' +said he, 'but I believe there are many ill husbands, who owe their +being such, to the ill conduct of their wives':--'now I fancy,' +continued he, 'whoever is so happy as to have you, will have no such +excuse; for I firmly believe you have in you all the requisites to +make the marriage state agreeable.' To this she only made a curtesy, +and thanked him for his good opinion: 'I do assure you,' resumed he, +'it is so sincere, that I should be glad to prove it, by making you my +wife. What say you,' pursued he, 'could you be willing to accept of my +addresses on that score?' With these words he took hold of her hand, +and pressing it with a great deal of warmth, occasioned her to blush +excessively.--The inability she was in of speaking, through the shame +this question had excited in her, gave him an opportunity of +prosecuting what he had begun, and saying many tender things, to +convince her he was in earnest; but when at last she gave him an +answer, it was only such as made him see she gave little credit to his +professions.--Some people coming in on business to her father, and +saying they would wait till he came home, obliged Natura to take his +leave for that time, well satisfied in his mind, that he had declared +himself, and not much doubting, but that in spite of this first +shyness, she would easily be prevailed upon to correspond with his +desires, when his perseverance in them, should have assured her of +their sincerity. + +He was, notwithstanding, a good deal surprized, when, going several +times after to the house, he could scarce see her, and never be able +to exchange a word with her in private, so industriously did she avoid +coming into his presence.--Such a behaviour, he thought, could proceed +only from one of these two motives, either thro' an extraordinary +dislike to his person, or through the fears of giving any indulgence +to an inclination, which the disparity between them might make her +mistake for a dishonourable one. Sometimes he was tempted to think the +one, sometimes the other; but not being of a humour to endure +suspense, he resolved to take effectual measures for coming at the +certainty. + +He went one day about noon, and told the yeoman he was come to take a +dinner with him, on which the other replied, that he did him a great +deal of honour; but should have been glad to have been previously +acquainted with it, in order to have been prepared to receive a +gentleman of his condition.--'No,' said Natura, 'I chose to come upon +you unawares, not only to prevent you from giving yourself any +superfluous trouble on my account, but also because I would use a +freedom, which should authorize you to treat me with the same;--we are +neighbours,' continued he, 'and neighbours should be friends, and love +one another.' + +Some other little chat on trivial affairs passed away the short time +between the coming of Natura, and dinner being brought in; on which, +the yeoman intreated him to sit down, and partake of such homely food +as he found there.--'That I shall gladly do,' answered Natura, 'but I +waited for your fair daughter; I hope we shall have her company. I do +not know,' said the yeoman, 'I think they told me she was not very +well, had got the head-ach, or some such ailment;--go, however,' +pursued he, to a servant, 'and see if Laetitia can come down.'--'But, +sir,' cried he, perceiving his guest discovered no inclination to +place himself at the table, 'do not let us wait for her.' + +Natura on this sat down, and they both began to eat, when the person +who had been sent to call Laetitia returned, and said, she begged to be +excused, being very much indisposed, and unfit to be seen.--The old +man seemed to take no notice, but pressed Natura to eat, and somewhat +embarrassed him with the many apologies he made for the coarseness of +his entertainment; to all which he gave but short answers, till the +cloth was taken away, and they were alone.--Then, 'I could not wish to +dine more to my satisfaction,' said he, 'if the sweetness of your meat +had not been imbittered by your daughter's absence';--'to be plain,' +continued he, 'I fear I am the disease which occasions her +retirement.'--'You, sir!' cried the father, affecting a surprize, +which he was not so well skilled in the art of dissimulation, to make +appear so natural, but that Natura easily saw into the feint, and told +him with a smile, that he found the _country_ had its arts as well as +the _court:_--'but let us deal sincerely with each other,' pursued he, +'I am very certain, it is from no other motive, than my being here, +that your daughter refused to come to table; and I also faithfully +believe you are no stranger to that motive:--be therefore free with +me; and to encourage you to be so, I shall acquaint you, that I have +made some overtures to Mrs. Laetitia,--that I like her, and that my +frequent visits to you have been entirely on her account:--now, be as +sincere with me, and let me know, whether the offers I made her will +be approved.' + +The yeoman was a little dashed on Natura's speaking in this manner, +and was some moments before he could recollect himself sufficiently to +make any reply; and, when at last he had, all he could bring out was, +'Sir, my girl is honest, and I hope will always continue so.' + +'I am far from doubting her virtue in the least,' answered Natura +hastily, 'but I think I cannot give a greater testimony of the good +opinion I have of her, than by offering to make her my wife.'--'Ah, +sir,' cried the yeoman, interrupting him, 'you must excuse me, if I +cannot flatter myself you have any thoughts of doing us that +honour.--I am a mean man, of no parentage, and it is well known have +brought up a large family by the sweat of my brow.'--'Laetitia is a +poor country maid;--it is true, the girl is well enough, but has +nothing,--nothing at all, alas! in her to balance for that vast +disparity of birth and fortune between you.' + +'Talk no more of that,' said Natura, taking him by the hand, 'such as +she is, I like her; and I once more assure you, that I never had any +dishonourable intentions on her, but am ready to prove the contrary, +by marrying her, as soon as she approves of me, and you agree to it.' + +The old man looked very earnestly on him all the while he was +speaking, and knew not well whether he ought to give credit to what he +said, or not,--Natura, perceiving his diffidence, continued, by +sparing neither arguments, nor the most solemn imprecations, to remove +it, till he was at last assured of a good fortune, which, as he said, +he had thought too extraordinary to happen in his family. He then told +Natura he would acquaint his daughter with the happiness he intended +for her, and dispose her to receive it with that respect and gratitude +that became her. On which Natura took his leave till the next day, +when he found Laetitia did not make any excuse to avoid his presence, +as she had lately done.--He addressed himself to her not in the same +manner he would have done to a woman of condition, but yet in very +tender and affectionate terms:--her behaviour to him was humble, +modest, and obliging; and though she was not mistress of the politest +expressions, yet what she said discovered she wanted not a fund of +good sense and understanding, which, if cultivated by education, would +have appeared very bright. He easily perceived, she took a great deal +of pains to disguise the joy she conceived at this prospect of raising +her fortune, but was too little accustomed to dissimulation, to do it +effectually, and both the one and the other gave him much +satisfaction. + +Circumstances being in the manner I related, it is not natural to +suppose any long sollicitation was required.--Laetitia affected not an +indifference she was free from, and Natura pressing for the speedy +consummation of his wishes, a day was appointed for the celebration of +the nuptials, and both the intended bride and bridegroom set +themselves about making the necessary preparations usual in such +cases. + +But see, how capable are our finest resolutions of being shaken by +accidents!--the most assured of men may be compared to the leaf of a +tree, which veers with every blast of wind, and is never long in one +position.--Had any one told Natura he had taken all this pains for +nothing, and that he would be more anxious to get off his promise of +marrying Laetitia, than ever he had been to engage one from her for +that purpose; he would have thought himself highly injured, and that +the person who said this of him was utterly a stranger to his +sentiments or character; yet so it happened, and the poor Letitia +found all her hopes of grandeur vanish into air, when they seemed just +on the point of being accomplished.--The occasion of this strange and +sudden transition was as follows: + +Two days before that prefixed for his marriage, Natura received a +packet from Gibralter, which brought him an account of the death of +his brother.--That unfortunate young gentleman, being convinced by his +sufferings, and perhaps too by his own remorse, and stings of +conscience of the foulness of the crime he had been guilty of, fell +into a languishing disorder, soon after his arrival in that country, +which left those about him no expectations of his ever getting the +better of.--Finding his dissolution near, he wrote a letter to Natura, +full of contrition, and intreaties for forgiveness. This epistle +accompanied that which related his death, and both together plunged +Natura into very melancholly thoughts.--The offence his brother had +been guilty of, was indeed great; but, when he remembered that he had +repented, and was now no more, all resentment, all revenge, against +him ceased with his existence, and a tender pity supplied their +place:--what, while _living_, he never would have forgave, when _dead_ +lost great part of its atrocity, and he bewailed the fate of the +transgressor, with unfeigned tears and lamentations. + +This event putting an end to the motive which had induced Natura to +think of marriage, put an end also to his desires that way;--he was +sorry he had gone so far with Laetitia, was loth to appear a deceiver +in her eyes, or in those of her father; but thought it would be the +extremest madness in him to prosecute his intent, as his beloved +sister had a son, who would now be his heir, and only had desired to +be the father of one himself to hinder _him_ from being so, whose +crimes had rendered him unworthy of it. + +The emotions of this revenge having entirely subsided, he now had +leisure to consider how oddly the world would think and talk of him, +if he perpetrated a marriage with a girl such as Laetitia;--he almost +wondered at himself, that the just displeasure he had conceived +against his brother, should have transported him so far as to make him +forgetful of what was owing to his own character; and when he +reflected on the miseries, vexations, and infamy, his last marriage +had involved him in, he trembled to think how near he had been to +entering into a state, which tho' he had a very good opinion of +Laetitia's virtue, might yet possibly, some way or other, have given +him many uneasinesses. + +He was, however, very much embarrassed how to break with her +handsomely; and it must be confessed, that after what had passed, this +was no very easy matter to accomplish.--Make what pretence he would, +he could not expect to escape the censure of an unstable fluctuating +man.--This is indeed a character, which all men are willing, nay +industrious, to avoid, yet what there are few men, but some time or +other in their lives, give just reason to incur.--Natura very well +knew, that to court a woman for marriage, and afterwards break his +engagements with her, was a thing pretty common in the world; but +then, it was thing he had always condemned in his own mind, and looked +upon as most ungenerous and base:--besides, though he had made his +addresses to Laetitia, meerly because he imagined she would prove a +virtuous, obedient, and fruitful wife, and was not inflamed with any +of those sentiments for her which are called love; yet, designing to +marry her, he had set himself as much as possible to love her, and had +really excited in his heart a kind of a tenderness, which made him +unable to resolve on giving her the mortification of being forsaken, +without feeling great part of the pain he was about to inflict on her. + +All he now wished was, that she might be possessed of as little warmth +of inclination for him as he had known for her, and that the disparity +of years between them, might have made her consent to the proposed +marriage, intirely on the motive of interest, without any mixture of +love, in order that the disappointment she was going to receive, might +seem the less severe: as the regard he had for her made him earnestly +wish this might be the case, he carefully recollected all the passages +of her behaviour, her looks, her words, nay, the very accents of her +voice, were re-examined, in hope to find some tokens of that happy +indifference, which alone could make him easy in this affair; but all +this retrospect afforded him no more than uncertain conjectures, and +imaginations which frequently contradicted each other, and indeed +served only to increase his doubts, and add to his disquiets. + +The mourning for his brother was, however, a very plausible pretence +for delaying the marriage; and as he was willing the disappointment +should come on by degrees, thinking by that means to soften the +asperity of it, he contrived to let both father and daughter have room +to guess the event before hand.--He seldom went to their house, and +when he did, made very short visits, talked as if the necessity of his +affairs would oblige him to leave the country, and settle again +entirely in town:--rather avoided, than sought any opportunity of +speaking to Laetitia in private, and in all his words and actions, +discovered a coldness which could not but be very surprizing to them +both, though they took not the least notice that they were so before +him, but behaved towards him in the same manner, as when he appeared +the most full of affection. + +This was a piece of prudence Natura had not expected from persons of +their low education and way of life:--he had imagined, that either the +one or the other of them would have upbraided this change in him, and +by avowing a suspicion, that he had repented him of his promises, +given him an opportunity either of seeming to resent it, or by some +other method, of breaking off: but this way of proceeding frustrated +his measures in that point, and he found himself under a necessity of +speaking first, on a subject no less disagreeable to himself, than he +knew it would be to those to whom his discourse should be directed. + +However, as there was no remedy, and he considered, that the longer to +keep them in suspense, would only be adding to the cruelty of the +disappointment; he sent one morning for the yeoman to come to his +house, and after ushering in what he was about to say, with some +reflections on the instability of human affairs, told him that some +accidents had happened, which rendered it highly inconvenient for him +to think of marrying;--that he had the utmost respect and good will +for Laetitia, and that if there were not indissoluble impediments to +hinder him from taking a wife, she should be still his choice, above +any woman he knew in the world;--that he wished her happy with any +other man, and to contribute to making her so, as also by way of +atonement for his enforced leaving her, he would give her five hundred +pounds, as an addition to her fortune. + +This was the substance of what he said; but though he delivered it in +the softest terms he could possibly make use of, he could find it was +not well received by the old man; his countenance, however, a little +cleared up at the closure of it:--the five hundred pounds was somewhat +of a sweetener to the bitter pill; and after expatiating, according to +his way, on the ungenerosity of engaging a young maid's affection, and +afterwards forsaking her, he threw in some shrewd hints, that as +accidents had happened to change his mind as to marriage, others might +also happen, which would have the same effect, in relation to the +present he now seemed to intend for her. + +'To prevent that,' cried Natura hastily, 'you shall take it home with +you'; and with these words turned to a cabinet, and took out the sum +he had mentioned; after counting it over, he put it into a bag, and +delivered it to the yeoman, saying at the same time, that though it +might not be so proper to come to his house, yet if he would send to +him in any exigence, he should find him ready to assist him; 'for you +may depend,' added he, 'that though I cannot be your son, I shall +always be your friend.' + +These words, and the money together, rendered the yeoman more content +than Natura had expected he would be; and by that he hoped he knew his +daughter had not imbibed any passion for him, which she would find +much difficulty in getting rid of, and that this augmentation to her +portion, would very well compensate for the loss of a husband, of more +than twice her years. + +A small time evinced, that Natura had not been altogether mistaken in +his conjectures.--Laetitia became the bride of a young wealthy grazier +in a neighbouring town, with whom she removed soon after her marriage; +and this event, so much desired by Natura, destroyed all the remains +of disquiet, his nicety of honour, and love of justice, had occasioned +in him. + +Being now wholly extricated from an adventure, which had given him +much pain, and no less free from the emotions of any turbulent +passion, he passed his days and nights in a most perfect and +undisturbed tranquility; a situation of mind to which, for a long +series of years, he had been an utter stranger. + +To desire, or pursue any thing with too much eagerness, is undoubtedly +the greatest cruelty we can practise on ourselves; yet how impossible +is it to avoid doing so, while the passions have any kind of dominion +over us:--to _acquire_, and to _preserve_, make the sole business of +our lives, and leave no leisure to _enjoy_ the goods of +fortune:--still tost on the billows of passion, hurried from care to +care the whole time of our existence here, is one continued scene of +restlessness and variated disquiet.--Strange propensity in man!--even +nature in us seems contradictory to herself!--we wish _long life_, yet +shorten it by our own anxieties;--nothing is so dreadful as _death_, +yet we hasten his approach by our intemperance and irregularity, and, +what is more, we know all this, yet still run on in the same heady +course. + +Natura had now, however, an interval, a happy chasm, between the +extremes of pleasure and of pain;--contented with his lot, and neither +aiming at more than he possessed, nor fearful of being deprived of +what he had. He, for a time, seemed in a condition such as all wise +men would wish to attain, tho' so few take proper methods for that +purpose, that those who we see in it, may be said to owe their +felicity rather to chance, than to any right endeavours of their own. + + + + +CHAP. V. + + Contains a remarkable proof, that tho' the passions may operate with + greater velocity and vehemence in youth, yet they are infinitely + more strong and permanent, when the person is arrived at maturity, + and are then scarce ever eradicated. Love and friendship are then, + and not till then, truly worthy of the names they bear; and that the + _one_ between those of different sexes, is always the consequence of + the _other_. + + +The inclination we have, and the pleasure it gives us to think well of +our abilities, leads us frequently into the most gross mistakes, +concerning the springs of action in our breasts. We are apt to ascribe +to the strength of our reason, what is in reality the effect of one or +other of the passions, sometimes even those of the worst kind, and +which a sound judgment would most condemn, and endeavour to +extirpate.--Man is a stranger to nothing, more than to himself;--the +recesses of his own heart, are no less impenetrable to him, than the +worlds beyond the moon;--he is blinded by vanity, and agitated by +desires he knows not he is possessed of. + +It was not _reason_ but _revenge_, which dissipated the immoderate +grief of Natura on the death of his son;--it was not _reason_ but +_pride_, which made him see the inconveniences of marrying with +Laetitia;--and yet doubtless he gave the praise of these events to the +strength of his prudence: to that too he also ascribed the resolution +he now took of living single during the remainder of his life; whereas +it was in truth only owing to his being at present acquainted with no +object capable of inspiring him with the tender passion. + +As he was now entirely free from all business, or avocation of any +kind whatsoever, it came into his head to go and pass some part of the +summer season with his sister:--he accordingly crossed the country to +her seat, and was received with all imaginable demonstrations of joy, +both by herself and husband. + +He found their family increased by the addition of a lady, who +preferring a country to a town life, had desired to board with them, +which was readily granted by the sister of Natura, not only as she was +a relation of her husband, but also for the sake of having a companion +so perfectly agreeable as this lady was in every respect. + +Charlotte, for so she was called, had been left a widow within three +months after her marriage, and had never entertained any thoughts of +entering into a second engagement, though her person, jointure, and +accomplishments, had attracted many sollicitations on that score. She +was about thirty years of age when Natura found her at his sister's; +and through the chearfulness of her temper, and the goodness of her +constitution, had preserved in her countenance all the bloom of +fifteen.--The charms of her person, however, made no impression on +Natura at his first acquaintance with her; he thought her a fine +woman, as every one did who saw her, but her charms reached not his +heart, nor gave him any emotions, either of pain or pleasure. + +But it was not for any longtime he remained in this state of +insensibility.--Charlotte had graces which could not fail of conquest, +sooner or later:--where those of her eyes wanted the power to move, +her tongue came in to their assistance, and was sure of gaining the +day:--there was something so resistless in her wit, and manner of +conversation, that none but those by nature, or want of proper +education, were too dull and stupid to understand, but must have felt +an infinity of satisfaction in it. + +Besides all this, there was a sympathy of humour between this lady and +Natura, which greatly contributed to make them pleased with each +other:--both were virtuous by nature, by disposition gay and +chearful:--both were equally lovers of reading; had a smattering of +philosophy, were perfectly acquainted with the world, and knew what in +it was truly worthy of being praised or contemned; and what rendered +them still more conformable, was the aversion which each testified to +marriage.--Natura's treatment from his wife, had made him speak with +some bitterness against a state, which had involved him in so many +perplexities; and Charlotte, though so short a time a wife, having +been married against her inclination, and to a man who, it seems, knew +not her real value, had found in it the beginning of disquiets, which +prognosticated worse mischiefs, had not his death relieved her from +them, and made her too thankful for the deliverance, to endure the +thoughts of venturing a second time to give up her freedom. + +This parity of sentiments, inclinations, and dispositions, it was +which, by degrees, endeared them to each other, without knowing they +were so. + +Natura became at last impatient out of the company of Charlotte, and +Charlotte found a restlessness in herself whenever Natura was absent; +but this indeed happened but seldom:--the mutual desire they had of +being together, made each of them industriously avoid all those +parties of pleasure, in which both could not have a share:--Natura +excused himself from accompanying his brother-in-law in any of those +diversions where women were not admitted; and Charlotte always had +some pretence for staying at home when the sister of Natura made her +visits to the ladies of the country;--yet was this managed on both +sides with such great decency and precaution, that neither the one nor +the other perceived the motive which occasioned their being so rarely +separated; much less had the family any notion of it. + +It is certain, that never any two persons were possessed of a more +true and delicate passion for each other:--the flame which warmed +their breasts, was meerly spiritual, and platonic;--the difference of +sex was never considered:--Natura adored Charlotte, not because she +was a lovely woman, but because he imagined somewhat angelic in her +mind; and Charlotte loved Natura not because he had an agreeable +person, but because she thought she discovered more charms in his +soul, than in that of any other man or woman. + +The acquaintance between them soon grew into an intimacy, and that +intimacy, by degrees, ripened into a friendship, which is the height +and very essence of love, though neither of them would allow +themselves to think it so: they made no scruple, however, of assuring +each other, of their mutual esteem, and promised all the good offices +in the power of either, with a freedom which they would not have done +(especially Charlotte, who was naturally very reserved) had they been +sensible to what lengths their present attachment might in time +proceed. + +Winter now drew on, but Natura was too much rivetted to think of +departing, and would doubtless have made some pretext for living +altogether with his sister, had not an accident happened, which made +his going a greater proof of the regard he had for Charlotte, than his +staying could have done, and perhaps made him know the real sentiments +he was possessed of on her account, much sooner than he should without +it. + +That lady had some law-affairs, which required either herself, or some +very faithful and diligent friend to attend. Term was approaching, and +the brother-in-law of Natura had promised to take a journey to London +for that purpose; but he unfortunately had been thrown from his horse +in a hunting match, and broke his leg, and Charlotte seemed in a good +deal of anxiety, who she should write to, in order to entrust with the +care of her business, which she justly feared would suffer much, if +left wholly to the lawyer's own management. + +Natura on this offered his service, and told her, if she would favour +him with her confidence in this point, he would go directly to London, +where she might depend on his diligence and fidelity in the forwarding +her business:--as she had not the least doubt of either, she accepted +this testimony of his friendship, with no other reluctance, than what +the being long deprived of his conversation occasioned.--Her good +sense, notwithstanding, got the better of that consideration, which +she looked upon only at an indulgence to herself, and committed to his +care all the papers necessary to be produced, in case he succeeded so +well for her, as to bring the suit to a trial. + +The manner of their taking leave was only such as might be expected +between two persons, who professed a friendly regard for each other; +but Natura had no sooner set out on his journey, than he felt a +heaviness at his heart, for having left the adorable Charlotte, which +nothing but the consideration that he was employed on her business, +and going to serve her could have asswaged. + +This was, indeed, a sweet consolation to him, and on his arrival in +town, set himself to enquire into the causes of that delay she had +complained of, with so much assiduity, that he easily found out she +had not been well treated by her lawyers, and that one of them had +even gone so far as to take fees from her adversary;--he therefore put +the affair into other hands, and ordered matters so, that the trial +could not, by any means, be put off till another time. + +Yet, in spite of all this diligence, it was the opinion of the +council, that there was an absolute necessity for the lady to appear +herself:--it is hard to say, whether Natura was more vexed or pleased +at this intelligence; he was sorry that he could not, of himself, +accomplish what he came about, and spare her the trouble of a journey +he had found was very disagreeable to her, not only on account of her +aversion to the town, and the ill season of the year for travelling, +but also because the person she contended with was a near relation, +and she was very sensible would engage many of their kindred to +disswade her from doing herself that justice she was resolute to +persist in her attempts for procuring.--The thoughts of the perplexity +this would give her, it was that filled him with a good deal of +trouble; but then the reflection, that he should have the happiness of +seeing her again, on this account, much sooner than he could otherwise +have done, gave him at least an equal share of satisfaction. + +The gentlemen of the long robe employed in her cause, and whose +veracity and judgment he was well assured of, insisting she must come, +put an end to his suspense, and he wrote to her for that purpose: the +next post brought him an answer which, to his great surprize, +expressed not the least uneasiness on the score of this journey, only +acquainted him, that she had taken a place in the stage, should set +out next morning, and in three days be in London; against which time, +she begged he would be so good to provide her a commodious lodging, +she being determined to go to none of her kindred, for the reason +abovementioned. + +Being animated with exactly the same sentiments Natura was, that +inclination which led him to wish her coming, influenced her also to +be pleased with it, and rendered the fatigue of the journey, and those +others she expected to find on her arrival, of no consequence, when +balanced against the happiness she proposed, in re-enjoying the +conversation of her aimable and worthy friend. + +But all this Natura was ignorant of; nor did his vanity suggest to him +the least part of what passed in his favour in the bosom of his lovely +Charlotte; but he needed no more than the knowledge she was coming to +a place where he should have her company, with less interruption than +he had hitherto the opportunity of, to make him the most transported +man alive. As he had no house of his own in town to accommodate her +with, he provided lodgings, and every thing necessary for her +reception, with an alacrity worthy of his love, and the confidence she +reposed in him; and went in his own coach to take her from the stage +some miles on the road. She testified her gratitude for the care he +took of her affairs, in the most obliging and polite acknowledgments; +and he returned the thanks she gave him, with the sincerest +assurances, that the thoughts of having it in his power to do her any +little service, afforded him the most elevated pleasure he had ever +known in his whole life. + +What they said to each other, however, on this score, was taken by +each, more as the effects of gallantry and good breeding, than the +real motives from which the expressions they both made use of, had +their source:--equal was their tenderness, equal also was their +diffidence, it being the peculiar property of a true and perfect love, +always to fear, and never to hope too much. + +Natura had taken care to chuse her an apartment very near the place +where he lodged himself, which luckily happened to be in an extreme +airy and genteel part of the town; so that he had the pleasure of +seeing her, not only every day, but almost every hour in the day, on +one pretext or other, which his industrious passion dictated; and this +almost continual being together, and, for the most part, without any +other company, very much increased the freedom between them, though +that freedom never went farther, even in a wish, on either side, for a +long time at least, than that of a brother and sister. + +Though all imaginable diligence was used to bring the law-suit to an +issue, those with whom Charlotte contested, found means to put it off +for yet one more term, she was obliged to stay that time; but neither +felt in herself, nor pretended to do so, any repugnance at it:--Natura +had enough to do to conceal his joy on this occasion; and when he +affected a concern for her being detained in a place she had so often +declared an aversion for, he did it so awkwardly, that had she not +been too much taken up with endeavouring to disguise her own +sentiments on this account, she could not but have seen into his. + +As neither of them seemed now to take any delight in balls, plays, +operas, masquerades, cards, or any of the town diversions, they passed +all their evenings together, and, for the most part, alone, as I +before observed;--their conversation was chiefly on serious topics, +and such as might have been improving to the hearers, had any been +permitted; and when they fell on matters which required a more gay and +sprightly turn, their good humour never went beyond an innocent +chearfulness, nor in the least transgressed the bounds of the +strictest morality and modesty. + +How long this platonic intercourse would have continued, is uncertain; +but the second term was near elapsed, the suit determined in favour of +Charlotte, and her stay in town necessary but a very days before +either of them entertained any other ideas, than such as I have +mentioned. Natura then began to regret the diminution of the happiness +he now enjoyed, and indeed of the total loss of it; for though he knew +it would not be wondered at, that his complaisance should induce him +to attend Charlotte in her journey to his sister's, yet he was at a +loss for a pretence to remain there for any long time.--Charlotte, on +the other hand, considered on the separation which, in all appearance, +must shortly be between them, with a great deal of anxiety, and was +even sorry the completion of her business had left her no excuse for +staying in town, since she could not expect it either suited with his +inclinations, or situation of affairs, to live always in the country. + +These cogitations rendered both very uneasy in their minds, yet +neither of them took any steps to remedy a misfortune equally terrible +to each; and the event had doubtless proved as they imagined, had not +the latent fires which glowed in both their breasts, been kindled into +a flame by foreign means, and not the least owing to themselves. + +One of those gentlemen who had been council for Charlotte, and had +behaved with extraordinary zeal in her behalf, had been instigated +thereto, more by the charms of her person, than the fees he received +from her;--in fine, he was in love with her; but his passion was not +of that delicate nature, which fills the mind with a thousand timid +apprehensions, and chuses rather to endure the pains of a long +smothered flame, than run the hazard of offending the adored object, +by disclosing it. + +He had enquired into her family and fortune, and finding there was +nothing of disparity between them, he declared his passion to her, and +declared it in terms which seemed not to savour of any great fears of +being rejected.--He was in his prime of life, had an agreeable person, +and a good estate, the consciousness of which, together with his being +accustomed to plead with success at the bar, made him not much doubt, +but his eloquence and assurance would have the same effect on his +mistress, as it frequently had on the judges: but the good opinion he +had of himself, greatly deceived him in this point; he met with a +rebuff from Charlotte, which might have deterred some men from +prosecuting a courtship she seemed determined never to encourage: but +though he was a little alarmed at it, he could not bring himself to +think she was enough in earnest to make him desist: in every visit he +paid her, he interlarded his discourse on business with professions of +love, which at length so much teized her, that she told him plainly, +she would sooner suffer her cause to be lost, than suffer herself to +be continually persecuted with sollicitations, which she had ever +avoided since her widowhood, and ever should do so. + +Natura came in one day just as the counsellor was going out of her +apartment; he observed a great confusion in his face, and some +emotions in her's, which shewed her mind a little ruffled from that +happy composure he was accustomed to find it in. On his testifying the +notice he took of this change in her countenance, 'It is strange +thing,' said she, 'that people will believe nothing in their own +disfavour!--I have told this man twenty times, that if I were disposed +to think of a second marriage, which I do not believe I ever shall, +the present sentiments I am possessed of, would never be reversed by +any offer he could make me; yet will he still persist in his +impertinent declarations.' + +There needed no more to convince Natura he had a rival; nor, as he +knew Charlotte had nothing of coquetry in her humour, to make him also +know she was not pleased with having attracted the affections of this +new admirer: this gave him an inexpressible satisfaction; for tho', as +yet, he had never once thought of making any addresses to her on the +score of love, death was not half so terrible to him, as the idea of +her encouraging them from any other man. + +'Then, madam,' cried he, looking on her in a manner she had never seen +him do before, 'the councellor has declared a passion for you, and +you have rejected him?'--'is it possible?'--'Possible!' interrupted +she, 'can you believe it possible I should not do so, knowing, as you +do, the fixed aversion I have to entering into any second +engagement!'--'but were it less so,' continued she, after a pause, 'his +sollicitations would be never the more agreeable to me.' + +Natura asked pardon for testifying any surprize, which he assured her +was totally owing, either to this proof of the effect of her charms, +'which,' said he, 'are capable of far greater conquests; or to your +refusal of the councellor's offer, after the declarations you have +made against a second marriage, but was excited in me meerly by the +novelty of the thing, having heard nothing of it before.' + +'This had not been among the number of the few things I conceal from +you,' answered she, 'if I had thought the repetition worthy of taking +up any part of that time which I always pass with you on subjects more +agreeable';--'besides,' continued she, 'it was always my opinion, that +those women, who talk of the addresses made to them, are secretly +pleased with them in their hearts, and like the love, tho' they may +even despise the lover. For my part, I can feel no manner of +satisfaction in relating to others, what I had rather be totally +ignorant of myself.' + +Natura had here a very good opportunity of complimenting her on the +excellency of her understanding, which set her above the vanities of +the generality of her sex; and indeed he expressed himself with so +much warmth on this occasion, that it even shocked her modesty, and +she was obliged to desire him to change the conversation, and speak no +more of a behaviour, which was not to be imputed to her good sense, +but to her disposition. + +Never had Natura found it more difficult to obey her than now;--he +could have expatiated for ever on the many and peculiar perfections +both of her mind and person; but he perceived, that to indulge the +darling theme, would be displeasing to her, and therefore forced +himself to put a stop to the utterance of those dictates, with which +his heart was now charged, even to an overflowing. + +Such was the effect of this incident on both: Natura, who till now had +thought he loved only the _soul_ of his mistress, found how dear her +lovely _person_ was also to him, by the knowledge that another was +endeavouring to get possession of it; and Charlotte, by the secret +satisfaction she felt on those indications Natura, in spite of his +efforts to the contrary, had given of a more than ordinary admiration +of her, discovered, for the first time, that he was indeed the only +man whose love would not be displeasing to her. + +After Natura came home, and had leisure to meditate on this affair, he +began with thinking how terrible it would be to him, to see Charlotte +in the arms of a husband; and when he reflected, that such a thing +might be possible, even though he doubted not the sincerity of her +present aversion, the idea was scarce to be borne:--from this he +naturally fell on figuring to himself how great a blessing that man +would enjoy, who should always have the sweet society of so amiable a +companion;--and this made him cry out, 'Why then, what hinders me from +endeavouring to become that happy man?--If I resolved against any +future marriage, it was when I knew not the adorable Charlotte, nor +believed there was so excellent a woman in the world.'--In this +rapturous imagination did he continue for a moment, but then the +improbability of succeeding in any such attempt, struck him with an +adequate despair.--'Though the uncommon merit of the woman I adore,' +said he, 'compels me to change the resolution I had taken, there is +not the same reason to prevail on her to recede from her's.--Past the +bloom of life, and already twice a husband, can I flatter myself with +the fond hope she will not reject the proposals I should make with the +same scorn she did those of the councillor?' + +Charlotte, on the other hand, was engrossed by reflections vastly +different from those she was accustomed to entertain:--never woman was +more free from vanity, or thought less of the power of her charms, yet +she could not hinder herself from thinking there was somewhat in the +behaviour of Natura, in his last visit, that denoted a regard beyond +an ordinary friendship for her.--This apprehension, at first, a little +startled her, or at least she imagined it did so, and she said to +herself, 'If he should really harbour any inclinations for me of that +sort, how unhappy should I be in being obliged to break off my +acquaintance with a person so every way agreeable to me; and to +continue it, would be to countenance a passion I have determined never +to give the least attention to.'--'Yet wherefore did I determine?' +pursued she, with a sigh, 'but because I found the generality of men +mere wandering, vague, inconstant creatures;--were guided only by +fancy;--never consulted their judgment, whether the object they +pretended to admire, had any real merit or not, and often too treated +those worst who had the best claim to their esteem;--besides, one +seldom finds a man whose person and qualifications are every way +suited to one's liking:--Natura is certainly such as I should wish a +husband to be, if I were inclined to marry again;--I have not taken a +vow of celibacy, and have nobody to controul my actions':--'then,' +said she again, 'what foolish imaginations comes into my head; perhaps +he has not the least thought of me in the way I am dreaming of;--no, +no, he has suffered too much by the imprudence of one woman, to put it +in the power of another to treat him in the same manner;--be trembles +at marriage;--I have heard him declare it, and I am deviating into a +vanity I never before was guilty of.' + +She was debating in this fashion within herself, when Natura came to +pay his morning visit: she blushed at his approach, conscious of the +meditations she had been in on his account.--He, full of the +sentiments I have described, saluted her with an air more grave and +timid than he had been accustomed, and which all who are judges of the +tender passion, know to be the surest symptom of it.--They sat down, +and on his beginning to renew some discourse concerning the +counsellor's pretensions, she desired him to forbear so disagreeable a +topic, telling him at the same time, he could say nothing else she +would not listen to with satisfaction.--'How, madam,' cried he, 'are +you sure of that?--Alas, you little know what passes in my heart, or +you would not permit me this toleration.' This might have been +sufficient to make some women convinced of the truth; but Charlotte +either fearful of being deceived by her own vanity, or willing he +should be more explicit, answered, 'I have too high an opinion of your +good sense, and too flattering an idea of your friendship to me, to +imagine your heart will ever suggest any thing which would be +offensive to me from your tongue.' + +'Suppose, madam,' said he, 'it should not be in my power to restrain +my wishes in those bounds prescribed by you, to all who have the +happiness of conversing with you; and that I were encroaching enough +not to be content with the marks of friendship you are pleased to +honour me':--'in fine,' continued he, 'suppose I were guilty of the +very same presumption, you have so severely censured in the +councellor!' + +'That is impossible,' replied she, 'since you are a foe professed to +marriage, as well as myself';--she was about to add something more, +but was prevented by emotions, which she attempted, but in vain, to +conceal; and Natura saw enough to keep him from despairing he had +forfeited her _esteem_ by aiming at her _love_. + +Having thus made a beginning, it was easy for him to prosecute a suit, +which he soon discovered he had a friend in her bosom to plead in +favour of:--in a word, he left her not, till he had obtained her +permission to entertain her on the same theme, and to use his +endeavours to prevail on her to exchange the friendship she confessed +for him into a warmer passion. + +It would be altogether needless to make any repetition of the +particulars of this courtship; the reader will easily believe, that +both parties being animated with the same sentiments I have described, +it could not be very tedious;--love had already done his work in their +hearts, and required little the labour of the tongue. Charlotte had +entirely compleated every thing appertaining to her law-suit, yet she +seemed not in a hurry to quit the town; a business of a more tender +nature now detained her;--she had resolved, or rather she could not +help resolving, to give herself to Natura, and the shame of doing what +she had so often, and so strenuously declared against, rendered the +thoughts of returning into the country in a different state, from that +with which she had left it, insupportable to her. + +After having agreed to the sollicitations of her importunate lover, +she expressed her sentiments to him on this head; on which it was +concluded, that their nuptials should be solemnized as privately as +possible in London, and that they should set out immediately after for +his country seat, where Charlotte, being utterly a stranger, would not +be subjected to any of those little railleries, she must have +expected, in a place where every one knew of the aversion she had +testified for a second marriage. + +No cross accident intervening, what they designed was, in a short +time, carried into execution;--never were any pair united by more +indelible bonds; those of friendship sublimed into the most pure and +virtuous tenderness, and a parity of principles, humours, and +inclinations. + +Thus does passion triumph over the most seemingly fixed and determined +resolution; and though it must be confessed, that in this instance, +both had reason, from the real merits of the beloved object, to +justify their choice, yet nature would certainly have had the same +force, and worked the same effect, if excited only by meer fancy, and +imaginary perfections. + +A Platonic and spiritual love, therefore, between persons of different +sexes, can never continue for any length of time. Whatever ideas the +_mind_ may conceive, they will at last conform to the craving of the +_senses_; and the _soul_, though never so elevated, find itself +incapable of enjoying a perfect satisfaction, without the +participation of the _body_.--As inclination then is not always guided +by a right judgment, nor circumstances always concur to render the +indulging an amorous propensity either convenient, or lawful, how +careful ought every one be, not to be deceived by a romantic +imagination, so far as to engage in an affection which, sooner or +later, will bring them to the same point that Natura and Charlotte +experienced. + + + + +CHAP. VI. + + How the most powerful emotions of the _mind_ subside and grow weaker + in proportion, as the strength of the _body_ decays, is here + exemplified; and that such passions as remain after a certain age, + are not properly the incentives of nature, but of example, long + habitude or ill humour. + + +The bride and bridegroom were received by all the friends, tenants, +and dependants of Natura, with the greatest demonstrations of joy; and +the behaviour of the amiable Charlotte was such as made every one +cease to wonder that he had ventured again on marriage, after the +disquiets he had experienced in that state. + +The kindred on neither side had nothing to condemn in the choice which +each had made of the other; and though perhaps a motive of +self-interest might make those nearest in blood, and consequently to +the estates they should leave at their decease, wish such an union had +not happened, yet none took the liberty to complain, or betray, by any +part of their behaviour, the least dissatisfaction at it.--The sister +and brother-in-law of Natura, it must be allowed, had the most cause, +as they had a large family of children, who had a claim equally to the +effects of both, in case they had died without issue; yet did not even +they express any discontent, though Charlotte, within the first year +of her marriage, brought two sons into the world, and a third in the +next ensuing one, all which seemed likely to live, and enjoy their +parents patrimony. + +What now was wanting to compleat the happiness of this worthy pair, +equally loving and beloved by each other, respected by all who knew +them, in need of no favours from any one, and blessed with the power +of conferring them on as many as they found wanted, or merited their +assistance.--Charlotte lost no part of her beauty, nor vivacity, by +becoming a mother, nor did Natura find any decrease in the strength, +or vigour, either of his mind or body, till he was past fifty-six +years of age.--The same happy constitution had doubtless continued a +much longer time in him, as nature had not been worn out by any +excesses, or intemperance, if by unthinkingly drinking some cold +water, when he was extremely hot, he had not thrown himself into a +surfeit, which surfeit afterward terminated in an ague and fever, +which remained on him a long time, and so greatly impaired all his +faculties, as well as person, that he was scarce to be known, either +by behaviour, or looks, for the man who, before that accident, had +been infinitely regarded and esteemed for the politeness of the _one_, +and the agreeableness of the _other_. + +His limbs grew feeble, his body thin, and his face pale and wan, his +temper sour and sullen, seldom caring to speak, and when he did it was +with peevishness and ill-nature;--every thing was to him an object of +disquiet; nothing of delight; and he seemed, in all respects, like one +who was weary of the world, and knew he was to leave it in a short +time. + +It is so natural to feel repugnance at the thoughts of being what they +call _no more_; that is, no more as to the knowledge and affections of +this world; that even those persons who labour under the severest +afflictions, wish rather to continue in them, than be eased by +death:--they are pleased at any flattering hopes given of a +prolongation of their present misery, and are struck with horror at +the least mention of their life and pains being drawing to a +period.--More irksome, doubtless, it must still be to those, who +having every thing they could wish for here, find they must soon be +torn from all the blessings they enjoy.--This is indeed a weakness; +but it is a weakness of nature, and which neither religion nor +philosophy are sufficient to arm us against; and the very endeavours +we make to banish, or at least to conceal our disquiets on this score, +occasion a certain peevishness in the sweetest temper, and make us +behave with a kind of churlishness, even to those most dear to us. + +Few, indeed, care to confess this truth, tho' there are scarce any, +who do not shew it in their behaviour, even at the very time they are +forcing themselves to an affectation of indifference for life, and a +resignation to the will of Heaven. + +The great skill of his physicians, however, and the yet greater care +his tender consort took to see their prescriptions obeyed with the +utmost exactitude, at length recovered Natura from the brink of the +grave.--He was out of danger from the disease which had so long +afflicted him; but though it had entirely left him, the attack had +been too severe for a person at the age to which he was now arrived, +to regain altogether the former man.--He had, in his sickness, +contracted habits, which he was unable to throw off in health, and he +could no more behave, than look, as he had done before. + +The mind would certainly be unalterable, and retain the same vigour it +ever had in youth, even to extreme old age, could the constitution +preserve itself entire.--It is that perishable part of us, which every +little accident impairs, and wears away, preparing, as it were, by +degrees, for a total dissolution, which hinders the nobler moiety of +the human species from actuating in a proper manner:--those organs, +which are the vehicles, through which its meanings shoot forth into +action, being either shrivelled, abraded by long use, or clogged up +with humours, shew the soul but in an imperfect manner, often disguise +it wholly, and it is for want of a due consideration only, that we are +so apt to condemn the _mind_, for what, in reality, is nothing but the +incumbrances laid on it by the infirmities of the _body_. + +It is true, that as we grow older, the passions naturally subside; yet +that they do so, is not owing to themselves, as I think may be easily +proved by this argument. + +Every one will acknowledge, because he knows it by experience, that +while he is possessed of _passions_, his _reason_ alone has the power +of keeping them within the bounds of moderation; if then we have less +of the _passions_ in old age, or rather, if they seem wholly +extinguished in us, we ought to have a greater share of _reason_ than +before; whereas, on the contrary, _reason_ itself becomes languid in +the length of years, as well as the _passions_, it is supposed to have +subdued: it is therefore meerly the imbecility of the organical +faculties, and from no other cause, that we see the aged and infirm +dead, in appearance, to those sensations, by which their youth was so +strongly influenced. + +_Avarice_ is, indeed, frequently distinguishable in old men; but this +I do not look upon as a _passion_ but a _propensity_, arising from +ill-nature and self-love.--Gain, and the sordid pleasure of counting +over money, and reckoning up rents and revenues, is the only lust of +age; and since we cannot be so handsome, so vigorous, cannot indulge +our appetites, like those who are younger, we take all manner of ways +to be richer, and pride ourselves in the length of our bags, and the +number of our tenants. + +I know it may be objected, that this vice is not confined to age, that +youth is frequently very avaritious, and grasps at money with a very +unbecoming eagerness:--this, I grant, is true; but, if we look into +the conduct of such men in other respects, I believe we shall +generally find their avarice proceeds from their prodigality;--they +are lavish in the purchase of pleasures, and must therefore be +parsimonious in acts of generosity and justice:--they are guilty of +meanness in some things, only for the sake of making a great figure in +others; and are not ashamed to be accounted niggards, where they ought +to be liberal, in order to acquire the reputation of open-handedness, +where it would better become them to be sparing. + +Natura, however, had never discovered any tendency to this vice, +either in youth or age; yet did that peevishness, which the +infirmities of his body had occasioned, make him behave sometimes, as +if he were tainted with it. + +Charlotte observed this alteration in her husband's temper with an +infinite concern; yet bore it with an equal patience;--making it her +whole study to divert and sooth his ill humour:--he was not so lost to +love and gratitude, and even reason too, as not to acknowledge the +tender proofs he continually received of her unshaken affections, and +would sometimes confess the errors he was guilty of, in point of +behaviour towards her, and intreat her pardon; but then the least +trifle would render him again forgetful of all he had said, and make +him relapse into his former frowardness. + +It is certain, notwithstanding, that his love for her was the same as +ever, though he could not shew it in the same manner; and to what can +this be imputed, but to the effect which the ailments of his external +frame had on his internal faculties. + +Though, as well as those about him, he found a decay within himself, +which made him think he had not long to live; yet could he not be +prevailed upon, for a great while, to settle his affairs after his +decease, by making any will; and whenever it was mentioned to him, +discovered a dissatisfaction, which at last made every one desist from +urging any thing on that score. + +It was in vain that they had remonstrated to him, that the estate +being to descend entire to his eldest son, the two youngest would be +left without any provision, and consequently must be dependants on +their brother, by his dying intestate:--in vain they pleaded, that +taking so necessary a precaution for preserving the future peace of +his family, would no way hasten his death, but, on the contrary, +render the fatal hour, whenever it should arrive, less dreadful, he +had only either answered not at all, or replied in such a fashion, as +could give them no room to hope for his compliance. + +In this unhappy disposition did he continue between two and three +years; but as his latter days came on, he grew much more calm and +resigned, _reason_ began to recover its former dominion over him; and, +when every one had left off all importunities on the account of his +making a _will_, he, of himself, mentioned the necessity of it, and +ordered a lawyer to be sent for to that end. + +Having settled all his affairs, relating to this world, in the most +prudent manner, he began to prepare for another, with a zeal which +shewed, that whatever notions people may have in health, concerning +futurity, they become more convinced, in proportion as they grow +nearer their dissolution. + +He finished his course in the sixty-third, or what is called the grand +climacteric year of life;--had the blessing to retain the use of all +his senses to the last; and as death had long before assailed, though +not totally vanquished him, he was too much decayed by continual +wastings, to feel any of those pangs, which persons who die in their +full vigour must unavoidably go through, when the vital springs burst +at once. + +He took leave of his dear wife and children with great serenity and +composure of mind; and afterwards turned himself from them, and passed +into eternity, as if falling into a gentle slumber. + +Thus have I attempted to trace nature in all her mazy windings, and +shew life's progress thro' the passions, from the cradle to the +grave.--The various adventures which happened to Natura, I thought, +afforded a more ample field, than those of any one man I ever heard, +or read of; and flatter myself, that the reader will find many +instances, that may contribute to rectify his own conduct, by pointing +out those things which ought to be avoided, or at least most carefully +guarded against, and those which are worthy to be improved and +imitated. + + + +FINIS. + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life's Progress Through The Passions +by Eliza Fowler Haywood + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE'S PROGRESS THROUGH THE *** + +***** This file should be named 15455.txt or 15455.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/4/5/15455/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Richard Cohen and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net). + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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