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<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1504 ***</div>

<h1>THE COMEDY OF ERRORS</h1>

<h2 class="no-break">by William Shakespeare</h2>

<hr >

<div class="chapter">

<h2>Contents</h2>

<table>

<tr>
<td> ACT I</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneI_5.1">Scene I. A hall in the Duke’s palace</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneI_5.2">Scene II. A public place</a><br ><br ></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> ACT II</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneII_5.1">Scene I. A public place</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneII_5.2">Scene II. The same</a><br ><br ></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> ACT III</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIII_5.1">Scene I. The same</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIII_5.2">Scene II. The same</a><br ><br ></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> ACT IV</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIV_5.1">Scene I. The same</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIV_5.2">Scene II. The same</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIV_5.3">Scene III. The same</a></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneIV_5.4">Scene IV. The same</a><br ><br ></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> ACT V</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td> <a href="#sceneV_5.1">Scene I. The same</a></td>
</tr>

</table>

<h3>Dramatis Personæ</h3>

<p class="drama">
SOLINUS, Duke of Ephesus.<br>
EGEON, a Merchant of Syracuse.<br>
<br>
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, Twin brothers and sons to Egeon and<br>
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, Emilia, but unknown to each other.<br>
<br>
DROMIO OF EPHESUS, Twin brothers, and attendants on<br>
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, the two Antipholuses.<br>
<br>
BALTHASAR, a Merchant.<br>
ANGELO, a Goldsmith.<br>
A MERCHANT, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse.<br>
PINCH, a Schoolmaster and a Conjurer.<br>
EMILIA, Wife to Egeon, an Abbess at Ephesus.<br>
ADRIANA, Wife to Antipholus of Ephesus.<br>
LUCIANA, her Sister.<br>
LUCE, her Servant.<br>
A COURTESAN<br>
Messenger, Jailer, Officers, Attendants
</p>

<h3><b>SCENE: Ephesus</b></h3>

</div><!--end chapter-->

<div class="chapter">

<h2><a id="sceneI_5.1"></a><b>ACT I</b></h2>

<h3><b>SCENE I. A hall in the Duke’s palace</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Duke, Egeon, Jailer,
Officers</span> and other <span class="charname">Attendants</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall,<br>
And by the doom of death end woes and all.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more.<br>
I am not partial to infringe our laws.<br>
The enmity and discord which of late<br>
Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your Duke<br>
To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen,<br>
Who, wanting guilders to redeem their lives,<br>
Have seal’d his rigorous statutes with their bloods,<br>
Excludes all pity from our threat’ning looks.<br>
For since the mortal and intestine jars<br>
’Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us,<br>
It hath in solemn synods been decreed,<br>
Both by the Syracusians and ourselves,<br>
To admit no traffic to our adverse towns;<br>
Nay more, if any born at Ephesus<br>
Be seen at Syracusian marts and fairs;<br>
Again, if any Syracusian born<br>
Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,<br>
His goods confiscate to the Duke’s dispose,<br>
Unless a thousand marks be levied<br>
To quit the penalty and to ransom him.<br>
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,<br>
Cannot amount unto a hundred marks;<br>
Therefore by law thou art condemn’d to die.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Yet this my comfort; when your words are done,<br>
My woes end likewise with the evening sun.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Well, Syracusian, say in brief the cause<br>
Why thou departedst from thy native home,<br>
And for what cause thou cam’st to Ephesus.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
A heavier task could not have been impos’d<br>
Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable;<br>
Yet, that the world may witness that my end<br>
Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence,<br>
I’ll utter what my sorrow gives me leave.<br>
In Syracusa was I born, and wed<br>
Unto a woman happy but for me,<br>
And by me, had not our hap been bad.<br>
With her I liv’d in joy; our wealth increas’d<br>
By prosperous voyages I often made<br>
To Epidamnum, till my factor’s death,<br>
And the great care of goods at random left,<br>
Drew me from kind embracements of my spouse;<br>
From whom my absence was not six months old<br>
Before herself (almost at fainting under<br>
The pleasing punishment that women bear)<br>
Had made provision for her following me,<br>
And soon and safe arrived where I was.<br>
There had she not been long but she became<br>
A joyful mother of two goodly sons,<br>
And, which was strange, the one so like the other<br>
As could not be distinguish’d but by names.<br>
That very hour, and in the self-same inn,<br>
A mean woman was delivered<br>
Of such a burden, male twins, both alike.<br>
Those, for their parents were exceeding poor,<br>
I bought, and brought up to attend my sons.<br>
My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys,<br>
Made daily motions for our home return.<br>
Unwilling I agreed; alas, too soon<br>
We came aboard.<br>
A league from Epidamnum had we sail’d<br>
Before the always-wind-obeying deep<br>
Gave any tragic instance of our harm;<br>
But longer did we not retain much hope;<br>
For what obscured light the heavens did grant<br>
Did but convey unto our fearful minds<br>
A doubtful warrant of immediate death,<br>
Which though myself would gladly have embrac’d,<br>
Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,<br>
Weeping before for what she saw must come,<br>
And piteous plainings of the pretty babes,<br>
That mourn’d for fashion, ignorant what to fear,<br>
Forc’d me to seek delays for them and me.<br>
And this it was (for other means was none).<br>
The sailors sought for safety by our boat,<br>
And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us.<br>
My wife, more careful for the latter-born,<br>
Had fast’ned him unto a small spare mast,<br>
Such as sea-faring men provide for storms.<br>
To him one of the other twins was bound,<br>
Whilst I had been like heedful of the other.<br>
The children thus dispos’d, my wife and I,<br>
Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix’d,<br>
Fast’ned ourselves at either end the mast,<br>
And, floating straight, obedient to the stream,<br>
Was carried towards Corinth, as we thought.<br>
At length the sun, gazing upon the earth,<br>
Dispers’d those vapours that offended us,<br>
And by the benefit of his wished light<br>
The seas wax’d calm, and we discovered<br>
Two ships from far, making amain to us,<br>
Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this.<br>
But ere they came—O, let me say no more!<br>
Gather the sequel by that went before.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Nay, forward, old man, do not break off so,<br>
For we may pity, though not pardon thee.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
O, had the gods done so, I had not now<br>
Worthily term’d them merciless to us.<br>
For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues,<br>
We were encountered by a mighty rock,<br>
Which being violently borne upon,<br>
Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst;<br>
So that, in this unjust divorce of us,<br>
Fortune had left to both of us alike<br>
What to delight in, what to sorrow for.<br>
Her part, poor soul, seeming as burdened<br>
With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe,<br>
Was carried with more speed before the wind,<br>
And in our sight they three were taken up<br>
By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.<br>
At length another ship had seiz’d on us;<br>
And, knowing whom it was their hap to save,<br>
Gave healthful welcome to their ship-wrack’d guests,<br>
And would have reft the fishers of their prey,<br>
Had not their bark been very slow of sail;<br>
And therefore homeward did they bend their course.<br>
Thus have you heard me sever’d from my bliss,<br>
That by misfortunes was my life prolong’d<br>
To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for,<br>
Do me the favour to dilate at full<br>
What have befall’n of them and thee till now.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care,<br>
At eighteen years became inquisitive<br>
After his brother, and importun’d me<br>
That his attendant, so his case was like,<br>
Reft of his brother, but retain’d his name,<br>
Might bear him company in the quest of him;<br>
Whom whilst I laboured of a love to see,<br>
I hazarded the loss of whom I lov’d.<br>
Five summers have I spent in farthest Greece,<br>
Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia,<br>
And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus,<br>
Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought<br>
Or that or any place that harbours men.<br>
But here must end the story of my life;<br>
And happy were I in my timely death,<br>
Could all my travels warrant me they live.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Hapless Egeon, whom the fates have mark’d<br>
To bear the extremity of dire mishap;<br>
Now, trust me, were it not against our laws,<br>
Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,<br>
Which princes, would they, may not disannul,<br>
My soul should sue as advocate for thee.<br>
But though thou art adjudged to the death,<br>
And passed sentence may not be recall’d<br>
But to our honour’s great disparagement,<br>
Yet will I favour thee in what I can.<br>
Therefore, merchant, I’ll limit thee this day<br>
To seek thy health by beneficial help.<br>
Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus;<br>
Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,<br>
And live; if no, then thou art doom’d to die.<br>
Jailer, take him to thy custody.
</p>

<p class="drama">
JAILER.<br>
I will, my lord.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Hopeless and helpless doth Egeon wend,<br>
But to procrastinate his lifeless end.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneI_5.2"></a><b>SCENE II. A public place</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span> and a
<span class="charname">Merchant</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,<br>
Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.<br>
This very day a Syracusian merchant<br>
Is apprehended for arrival here,<br>
And, not being able to buy out his life,<br>
According to the statute of the town<br>
Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.<br>
There is your money that I had to keep.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,<br>
And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.<br>
Within this hour it will be dinnertime;<br>
Till that, I’ll view the manners of the town,<br>
Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,<br>
And then return and sleep within mine inn,<br>
For with long travel I am stiff and weary.<br>
Get thee away.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Many a man would take you at your word,<br>
And go indeed, having so good a mean.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Dromio</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,<br>
When I am dull with care and melancholy,<br>
Lightens my humour with his merry jests.<br>
What, will you walk with me about the town,<br>
And then go to my inn and dine with me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,<br>
Of whom I hope to make much benefit.<br>
I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o’clock,<br>
Please you, I’ll meet with you upon the mart,<br>
And afterward consort you till bedtime.<br>
My present business calls me from you now.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Farewell till then: I will go lose myself,<br>
And wander up and down to view the city.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Sir, I commend you to your own content.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Merchant</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
He that commends me to mine own content<br>
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.<br>
I to the world am like a drop of water<br>
That in the ocean seeks another drop,<br>
Who, failing there to find his fellow forth,<br>
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself.<br>
So I, to find a mother and a brother,<br>
In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
Here comes the almanac of my true date.<br>
What now? How chance thou art return’d so soon?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Return’d so soon? rather approach’d too late.<br>
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit;<br>
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;<br>
My mistress made it one upon my cheek.<br>
She is so hot because the meat is cold;<br>
The meat is cold because you come not home;<br>
You come not home because you have no stomach;<br>
You have no stomach, having broke your fast;<br>
But we that know what ’tis to fast and pray,<br>
Are penitent for your default today.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Stop in your wind, sir, tell me this, I pray:<br>
Where have you left the money that I gave you?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
O, sixpence that I had o’ Wednesday last<br>
To pay the saddler for my mistress’ crupper:<br>
The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I am not in a sportive humour now.<br>
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?<br>
We being strangers here, how dar’st thou trust<br>
So great a charge from thine own custody?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I pray you jest, sir, as you sit at dinner:<br>
I from my mistress come to you in post;<br>
If I return, I shall be post indeed,<br>
For she will score your fault upon my pate.<br>
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,<br>
And strike you home without a messenger.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season,<br>
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.<br>
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,<br>
And tell me how thou hast dispos’d thy charge.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
My charge was but to fetch you from the mart<br>
Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner.<br>
My mistress and her sister stay for you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Now, as I am a Christian, answer me<br>
In what safe place you have bestow’d my money,<br>
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours<br>
That stands on tricks when I am undispos’d;<br>
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I have some marks of yours upon my pate,<br>
Some of my mistress’ marks upon my shoulders,<br>
But not a thousand marks between you both.<br>
If I should pay your worship those again,<br>
Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thy mistress’ marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Your worship’s wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;<br>
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,<br>
And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,<br>
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
What mean you, sir? for God’s sake hold your hands.<br>
Nay, an you will not, sir, I’ll take my heels.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Dromio</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Upon my life, by some device or other<br>
The villain is o’er-raught of all my money.<br>
They say this town is full of cozenage,<br>
As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,<br>
Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,<br>
Soul-killing witches that deform the body,<br>
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,<br>
And many such-like liberties of sin:<br>
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.<br>
I’ll to the Centaur to go seek this slave.<br>
I greatly fear my money is not safe.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

</div><!--end chapter-->

<div class="chapter">

<h2><a id="sceneII_5.1"></a><b>ACT II</b></h2>

<h3><b>SCENE I. A public place</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana</span>, wife to
Antipholus (of Ephesus) with <span class="charname">Luciana</span> her
sister.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Neither my husband nor the slave return’d<br>
That in such haste I sent to seek his master?<br>
Sure, Luciana, it is two o’clock.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,<br>
And from the mart he’s somewhere gone to dinner.<br>
Good sister, let us dine, and never fret;<br>
A man is master of his liberty;<br>
Time is their master, and when they see time,<br>
They’ll go or come. If so, be patient, sister.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Why should their liberty than ours be more?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Because their business still lies out o’ door.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
O, know he is the bridle of your will.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
There’s none but asses will be bridled so.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Why, headstrong liberty is lash’d with woe.<br>
There’s nothing situate under heaven’s eye<br>
But hath his bound in earth, in sea, in sky.<br>
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls<br>
Are their males’ subjects, and at their controls.<br>
Man, more divine, the masters of all these,<br>
Lord of the wide world and wild wat’ry seas,<br>
Indued with intellectual sense and souls,<br>
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,<br>
Are masters to their females, and their lords:<br>
Then let your will attend on their accords.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Ere I learn love, I’ll practise to obey.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
How if your husband start some other where?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Till he come home again, I would forbear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Patience unmov’d! No marvel though she pause;<br>
They can be meek that have no other cause.<br>
A wretched soul bruis’d with adversity,<br>
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;<br>
But were we burd’ned with like weight of pain,<br>
As much, or more, we should ourselves complain:<br>
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,<br>
With urging helpless patience would relieve me:<br>
But if thou live to see like right bereft,<br>
This fool-begg’d patience in thee will be left.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Well, I will marry one day, but to try.<br>
Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Nay, he’s at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Say, didst thou speak with him? know’st thou his mind?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear.<br>
Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Spake he so doubtfully thou couldst not feel his meaning?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Nay, he struck so plainly I could too well feel his blows; and withal so
doubtfully that I could scarce understand them.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
But say, I prithee, is he coming home?<br>
It seems he hath great care to please his wife.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Horn-mad, thou villain?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I mean not cuckold-mad,<br>
But sure he’s stark mad.<br>
When I desir’d him to come home to dinner,<br>
He ask’d me for a thousand marks in gold.<br>
“’Tis dinner time,” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.<br>
“Your meat doth burn” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.<br>
“Will you come home?” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.<br>
“Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?”<br>
“The pig” quoth I “is burn’d”. “My gold,” quoth he.<br>
“My mistress, sir,” quoth I. “Hang up thy mistress;<br>
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!”
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Quoth who?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Quoth my master.<br>
“I know,” quoth he, “no house, no wife, no mistress.”<br>
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,<br>
I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;<br>
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Go back again, and be new beaten home?<br>
For God’s sake, send some other messenger.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Back slave, or I will break thy pate across.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
And he will bless that cross with other beating.<br>
Between you I shall have a holy head.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Hence, prating peasant. Fetch thy master home.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Am I so round with you, as you with me,<br>
That like a football you do spurn me thus?<br>
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither.<br>
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Fie, how impatience loureth in your face.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
His company must do his minions grace,<br>
Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.<br>
Hath homely age th’ alluring beauty took<br>
From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it.<br>
Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?<br>
If voluble and sharp discourse be marr’d,<br>
Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard.<br>
Do their gay vestments his affections bait?<br>
That’s not my fault; he’s master of my state.<br>
What ruins are in me that can be found<br>
By him not ruin’d? Then is he the ground<br>
Of my defeatures. My decayed fair<br>
A sunny look of his would soon repair;<br>
But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale<br>
And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.<br>
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere,<br>
Or else what lets it but he would be here?<br>
Sister, you know he promis’d me a chain;<br>
Would that alone, a love he would detain,<br>
So he would keep fair quarter with his bed.<br>
I see the jewel best enamelled<br>
Will lose his beauty; yet the gold bides still<br>
That others touch, yet often touching will<br>
Wear gold; and no man that hath a name<br>
By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.<br>
Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,<br>
I’ll weep what’s left away, and weeping die.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneII_5.2"></a><b>SCENE II. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up<br>
Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave<br>
Is wander’d forth in care to seek me out.<br>
By computation and mine host’s report.<br>
I could not speak with Dromio since at first<br>
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
How now, sir! is your merry humour alter’d?<br>
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.<br>
You know no Centaur? you receiv’d no gold?<br>
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?<br>
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,<br>
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I did not see you since you sent me hence,<br>
Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt,<br>
And told’st me of a mistress and a dinner,<br>
For which I hope thou felt’st I was displeas’d.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I am glad to see you in this merry vein.<br>
What means this jest, I pray you, master, tell me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?<br>
Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.<br>
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Beats Dromio.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Hold, sir, for God’s sake, now your jest is earnest.<br>
Upon what bargain do you give it me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Because that I familiarly sometimes<br>
Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,<br>
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,<br>
And make a common of my serious hours.<br>
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,<br>
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.<br>
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,<br>
And fashion your demeanour to my looks,<br>
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Sconce, call you it? so you would leave battering, I had rather have it a head.
And you use these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and ensconce it
too, or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But I pray, sir, why am I
beaten?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Dost thou not know?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Shall I tell you why?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say, every why hath a wherefore.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, first, for flouting me; and then wherefore,<br>
For urging it the second time to me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,<br>
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?<br>
Well, sir, I thank you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thank me, sir, for what?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I’ll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something.<br>
But say, sir, is it dinner-time?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
In good time, sir, what’s that?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Basting.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Well, sir, then ’twill be dry.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Your reason?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me another dry basting.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Well, sir, learn to jest in good time.<br>
There’s a time for all things.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I durst have denied that before you were so choleric.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
By what rule, sir?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Let’s hear it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
May he not do it by fine and recovery?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of another man.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful
an excrement?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts, and what he
hath scanted men in hair he hath given them in wit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, but there’s many a man hath more hair than wit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
The plainer dealer, the sooner lost. Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
For what reason?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
For two, and sound ones too.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nay, not sound, I pray you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Sure ones, then.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Certain ones, then.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Name them.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner
they should not drop in his porridge.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
You would all this time have proved there is no time for all things.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, and did, sir; namely, e’en no time to recover hair lost by nature.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
But your reason was not substantial why there is no time to recover.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the world’s end
will have bald followers.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I knew ’twould be a bald conclusion.<br>
But soft! who wafts us yonder?
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana</span> and
<span class="charname">Luciana</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown,<br>
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects.<br>
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.<br>
The time was once when thou unurg’d wouldst vow<br>
That never words were music to thine ear,<br>
That never object pleasing in thine eye,<br>
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,<br>
That never meat sweet-savour’d in thy taste,<br>
Unless I spake, or look’d, or touch’d, or carv’d to thee.<br>
How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it,<br>
That thou art then estranged from thyself?<br>
Thyself I call it, being strange to me,<br>
That, undividable, incorporate,<br>
Am better than thy dear self’s better part.<br>
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me;<br>
For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall<br>
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,<br>
And take unmingled thence that drop again<br>
Without addition or diminishing,<br>
As take from me thyself, and not me too.<br>
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,<br>
Should’st thou but hear I were licentious?<br>
And that this body, consecrate to thee,<br>
By ruffian lust should be contaminate?<br>
Wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me,<br>
And hurl the name of husband in my face,<br>
And tear the stain’d skin off my harlot brow,<br>
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring,<br>
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?<br>
I know thou canst; and therefore, see thou do it.<br>
I am possess’d with an adulterate blot;<br>
My blood is mingled with the crime of lust;<br>
For if we two be one, and thou play false,<br>
I do digest the poison of thy flesh,<br>
Being strumpeted by thy contagion.<br>
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed,<br>
I live distain’d, thou undishonoured.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not.<br>
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,<br>
As strange unto your town as to your talk,<br>
Who, every word by all my wit being scann’d,<br>
Wants wit in all one word to understand.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Fie, brother, how the world is chang’d with you.<br>
When were you wont to use my sister thus?<br>
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
By Dromio?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
By me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
By thee; and this thou didst return from him,<br>
That he did buffet thee, and in his blows<br>
Denied my house for his, me for his wife.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?<br>
What is the course and drift of your compact?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I, sir? I never saw her till this time.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Villain, thou liest, for even her very words<br>
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I never spake with her in all my life.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
How can she thus, then, call us by our names?<br>
Unless it be by inspiration.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
How ill agrees it with your gravity<br>
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,<br>
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood;<br>
Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt,<br>
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.<br>
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine.<br>
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,<br>
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,<br>
Makes me with thy strength to communicate:<br>
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,<br>
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss,<br>
Who all, for want of pruning, with intrusion<br>
Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme.<br>
What, was I married to her in my dream?<br>
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?<br>
What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?<br>
Until I know this sure uncertainty<br>
I’ll entertain the offer’d fallacy.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.<br>
This is the fairy land; O spite of spites!<br>
We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites;<br>
If we obey them not, this will ensue:<br>
They’ll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Why prat’st thou to thyself, and answer’st not?<br>
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I am transformed, master, am I not?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I think thou art in mind, and so am I.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thou hast thine own form.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, I am an ape.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
If thou art chang’d to aught, ’tis to an ass.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
’Tis true; she rides me, and I long for grass.<br>
’Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be<br>
But I should know her as well as she knows me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,<br>
To put the finger in the eye and weep<br>
Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn.<br>
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate.<br>
Husband, I’ll dine above with you today,<br>
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.<br>
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,<br>
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.<br>
Come, sister; Dromio, play the porter well.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?<br>
Sleeping or waking, mad, or well-advis’d?<br>
Known unto these, and to myself disguis’d!<br>
I’ll say as they say, and persever so,<br>
And in this mist at all adventures go.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

</div><!--end chapter-->

<div class="chapter">

<h2><a id="sceneIII_5.1"></a><b>ACT III</b></h2>

<h3><b>SCENE I. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of
Ephesus</span>, his man <span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus, Angelo</span>
the goldsmith and <span class="charname">Balthasar</span> the merchant.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all,<br>
My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.<br>
Say that I linger’d with you at your shop<br>
To see the making of her carcanet,<br>
And that tomorrow you will bring it home.<br>
But here’s a villain that would face me down.<br>
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,<br>
And charg’d him with a thousand marks in gold,<br>
And that I did deny my wife and house.<br>
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.<br>
That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to show;<br>
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,<br>
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I think thou art an ass.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Marry, so it doth appear<br>
By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.<br>
I should kick, being kick’d; and being at that pass,<br>
You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
You’re sad, Signior Balthasar; pray God our cheer<br>
May answer my good will and your good welcome here.
</p>

<p class="drama">
BALTHASAR.<br>
I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
O, Signior Balthasar, either at flesh or fish<br>
A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.
</p>

<p class="drama">
BALTHASAR.<br>
Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And welcome more common, for that’s nothing but words.
</p>

<p class="drama">
BALTHASAR<br>
Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest.<br>
But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;<br>
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.<br>
But soft; my door is lock’d. Go bid them let us in.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
[<i>Within.</i>] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!<br>
Either get thee from the door or sit down at the hatch:<br>
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’st for such store<br>
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on’s feet.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Who talks within there? Ho, open the door.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Right, sir, I’ll tell you when an you’ll tell me wherefore.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not dined today.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nor today here you must not; come again when you may.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I owe?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;<br>
The one ne’er got me credit, the other mickle blame.<br>
If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,<br>
Thou wouldst have chang’d thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Luce</span> concealed from
Antipholus of Ephesus and his companions.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
[<i>Within.</i>] What a coil is there, Dromio, who are those at the gate?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Let my master in, Luce.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
Faith, no, he comes too late,<br>
And so tell your master.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
O Lord, I must laugh;<br>
Have at you with a proverb:—Shall I set in my staff?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
Have at you with another: that’s—When? can you tell?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
If thy name be called Luce,—Luce, thou hast answer’d him well.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Do you hear, you minion? you’ll let us in, I hope?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
I thought to have ask’d you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
And you said no.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
So, come, help. Well struck, there was blow for blow.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Thou baggage, let me in.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
Can you tell for whose sake?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Master, knock the door hard.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
Let him knock till it ache.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
You’ll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCE.<br>
What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana</span> concealed from
Antipholus of Ephesus and his companions.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
[<i>Within.</i>] Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Are you there, wife? you might have come before.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Your wife, sir knave? go, get you from the door.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome. We would fain have either.
</p>

<p class="drama">
BALTHASAR.<br>
In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.<br>
Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the cold.<br>
It would make a man mad as a buck to be so bought and sold.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Go, fetch me something, I’ll break ope the gate.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Break any breaking here, and I’ll break your knave’s pate.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind;<br>
Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
It seems thou want’st breaking; out upon thee, hind!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Here’s too much “out upon thee”; I pray thee, let me in.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Well, I’ll break in; go, borrow me a crow.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
A crow without feather; master, mean you so?<br>
For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a feather.<br>
If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow together.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Go, get thee gone; fetch me an iron crow.
</p>

<p class="drama">
BALTHASAR.<br>
Have patience, sir. O, let it not be so:<br>
Herein you war against your reputation,<br>
And draw within the compass of suspect<br>
The unviolated honour of your wife.<br>
Once this,—your long experience of her wisdom,<br>
Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,<br>
Plead on her part some cause to you unknown;<br>
And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse<br>
Why at this time the doors are made against you.<br>
Be rul’d by me; depart in patience,<br>
And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,<br>
And about evening, come yourself alone<br>
To know the reason of this strange restraint.<br>
If by strong hand you offer to break in<br>
Now in the stirring passage of the day,<br>
A vulgar comment will be made of it;<br>
And that supposed by the common rout<br>
Against your yet ungalled estimation<br>
That may with foul intrusion enter in,<br>
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;<br>
For slander lives upon succession,<br>
For ever hous’d where it gets possession.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
You have prevail’d. I will depart in quiet,<br>
And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry.<br>
I know a wench of excellent discourse,<br>
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle;<br>
There will we dine. This woman that I mean,<br>
My wife (but, I protest, without desert)<br>
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal;<br>
To her will we to dinner.—Get you home<br>
And fetch the chain, by this I know ’tis made.<br>
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine,<br>
For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow<br>
(Be it for nothing but to spite my wife)<br>
Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste.<br>
Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,<br>
I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Do so; this jest shall cost me some expense.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneIII_5.2"></a><b>SCENE II. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Luciana</span> with
<span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
And may it be that you have quite forgot<br>
A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,<br>
Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot?<br>
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?<br>
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,<br>
Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more kindness;<br>
Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth,<br>
Muffle your false love with some show of blindness.<br>
Let not my sister read it in your eye;<br>
Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator;<br>
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;<br>
Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger;<br>
Bear a fair presence though your heart be tainted;<br>
Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint,<br>
Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?<br>
What simple thief brags of his own attaint?<br>
’Tis double wrong to truant with your bed<br>
And let her read it in thy looks at board.<br>
Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;<br>
Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word.<br>
Alas, poor women, make us but believe,<br>
Being compact of credit, that you love us.<br>
Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve;<br>
We in your motion turn, and you may move us.<br>
Then, gentle brother, get you in again;<br>
Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife.<br>
’Tis holy sport to be a little vain<br>
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Sweet mistress, what your name is else, I know not,<br>
Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine;<br>
Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not<br>
Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine.<br>
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak;<br>
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,<br>
Smother’d in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,<br>
The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.<br>
Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you<br>
To make it wander in an unknown field?<br>
Are you a god? would you create me new?<br>
Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.<br>
But if that I am I, then well I know<br>
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,<br>
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.<br>
Far more, far more, to you do I decline.<br>
O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note<br>
To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears.<br>
Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote;<br>
Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,<br>
And as a bed I’ll take thee, and there lie,<br>
And, in that glorious supposition think<br>
He gains by death that hath such means to die.<br>
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink!
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
What, are you mad, that you do reason so?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Why call you me love? Call my sister so.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thy sister’s sister.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
That’s my sister.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No,<br>
It is thyself, mine own self’s better part,<br>
Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,<br>
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,<br>
My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
All this my sister is, or else should be.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee;<br>
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life;<br>
Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.<br>
Give me thy hand.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
O, soft, sir, hold you still;<br>
I’ll fetch my sister to get her goodwill.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Luciana</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, how now, Dromio? where runn’st thou so fast?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What woman’s man? and how besides thyself?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman, one that claims me, one that
haunts me, one that will have me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What claim lays she to thee?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse, and she would have me as
a beast; not that I being a beast she would have me, but that she being a very
beastly creature lays claim to me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What is she?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of
without he say “sir-reverence”. I have but lean luck in the match,
and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
How dost thou mean a “fat marriage”?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease, and I know
not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her and run
from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the tallow in
them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday,
she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What complexion is she of?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For
why? she sweats, a man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
That’s a fault that water will mend.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood could not do it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What’s her name?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that’s an ell and
three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Then she bears some breadth?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is
spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
In what part of her body stands Ireland?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where Scotland?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I found it by the barrenness, hard in the palm of the hand.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where France?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war against her hair.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where England?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in
them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that
ran between France and it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where Spain?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where America, the Indies?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
O, sir, upon her nose, all o’er-embellished with rubies,
carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot
breath of Spain, who sent whole armadoes of carracks to be
ballast at her nose.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude: this drudge or
diviner laid claim to me, called me Dromio, swore I was assured
to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of
my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm,
that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my
breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had
transformed me to a curtal dog, and made me turn i’ the wheel.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Go, hie thee presently, post to the road;<br>
And if the wind blow any way from shore,<br>
I will not harbour in this town tonight.<br>
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,<br>
Where I will walk till thou return to me.<br>
If everyone knows us, and we know none,<br>
’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
As from a bear a man would run for life,<br>
So fly I from her that would be my wife.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
There’s none but witches do inhabit here,<br>
And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.<br>
She that doth call me husband, even my soul<br>
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,<br>
Possess’d with such a gentle sovereign grace,<br>
Of such enchanting presence and discourse,<br>
Hath almost made me traitor to myself.<br>
But lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,<br>
I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Angelo</span> with the chain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Master Antipholus.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Ay, that’s my name.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
I know it well, sir. Lo, here is the chain;<br>
I thought to have ta’en you at the Porpentine,<br>
The chain unfinish’d made me stay thus long.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What is your will that I shall do with this?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.<br>
Go home with it, and please your wife withal,<br>
And soon at supper-time I’ll visit you,<br>
And then receive my money for the chain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I pray you, sir, receive the money now,<br>
For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
You are a merry man, sir; fare you well.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What I should think of this I cannot tell,<br>
But this I think, there’s no man is so vain<br>
That would refuse so fair an offer’d chain.<br>
I see a man here needs not live by shifts,<br>
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.<br>
I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay;<br>
If any ship put out, then straight away.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

</div><!--end chapter-->

<div class="chapter">

<h2><a id="sceneIV_5.1"></a><b>ACT IV</b></h2>

<h3><b>SCENE I. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Merchant, Angelo</span> and an
<span class="charname">Officer</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
You know since Pentecost the sum is due,<br>
And since I have not much importun’d you,<br>
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound<br>
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage;<br>
Therefore make present satisfaction,<br>
Or I’ll attach you by this officer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Even just the sum that I do owe to you<br>
Is growing to me by Antipholus,<br>
And in the instant that I met with you<br>
He had of me a chain; at five o’clock<br>
I shall receive the money for the same.<br>
Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,<br>
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Ephesus</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span> from the Courtesan’s.
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
That labour may you save. See where he comes.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
While I go to the goldsmith’s house, go thou<br>
And buy a rope’s end; that will I bestow<br>
Among my wife and her confederates<br>
For locking me out of my doors by day.<br>
But soft, I see the goldsmith; get thee gone;<br>
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope!
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Dromio</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
A man is well holp up that trusts to you,<br>
I promised your presence and the chain,<br>
But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.<br>
Belike you thought our love would last too long<br>
If it were chain’d together, and therefore came not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Saving your merry humour, here’s the note<br>
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,<br>
The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,<br>
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more<br>
Than I stand debted to this gentleman.<br>
I pray you, see him presently discharg’d,<br>
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I am not furnished with the present money;<br>
Besides, I have some business in the town.<br>
Good signior, take the stranger to my house,<br>
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife<br>
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;<br>
Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Then you will bring the chain to her yourself.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
No, bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And if I have not, sir, I hope you have,<br>
Or else you may return without your money.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain;<br>
Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,<br>
And I, to blame, have held him here too long.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Good Lord, you use this dalliance to excuse<br>
Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.<br>
I should have chid you for not bringing it,<br>
But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
You hear how he importunes me. The chain!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.<br>
Either send the chain or send by me some token.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Fie, now you run this humour out of breath.<br>
Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
My business cannot brook this dalliance.<br>
Good sir, say whe’er you’ll answer me or no;<br>
If not, I’ll leave him to the officer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I answer you? What should I answer you?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
The money that you owe me for the chain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I owe you none till I receive the chain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
You know I gave it you half an hour since.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
You gave me none. You wrong me much to say so.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
You wrong me more, sir, in denying it.<br>
Consider how it stands upon my credit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
I do, and charge you in the duke’s name to obey me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
This touches me in reputation.<br>
Either consent to pay this sum for me,<br>
Or I attach you by this officer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Consent to pay thee that I never had?<br>
Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer.<br>
I would not spare my brother in this case<br>
If he should scorn me so apparently.
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
I do arrest you, sir. You hear the suit.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I do obey thee till I give thee bail.<br>
But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear<br>
As all the metal in your shop will answer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,<br>
To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>
from the bay.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, there’s a bark of Epidamnum<br>
That stays but till her owner comes aboard,<br>
And then, sir, bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,<br>
I have convey’d aboard, and I have bought<br>
The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitae.<br>
The ship is in her trim; the merry wind<br>
Blows fair from land; they stay for nought at all<br>
But for their owner, master, and yourself.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
How now? a madman? Why, thou peevish sheep,<br>
What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope,<br>
And told thee to what purpose and what end.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
You sent me for a rope’s end as soon.<br>
You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I will debate this matter at more leisure,<br>
And teach your ears to list me with more heed.<br>
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:<br>
Give her this key, and tell her in the desk<br>
That’s cover’d o’er with Turkish tapestry<br>
There is a purse of ducats; let her send it.<br>
Tell her I am arrested in the street,<br>
And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave; be gone.<br>
On, officer, to prison till it come.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt <span class="charname">Merchant, Angelo, Officer</span>
and <span class="charname">Antipholus of Ephesus</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
To Adriana, that is where we din’d,<br>
Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband.<br>
She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.<br>
Thither I must, although against my will,<br>
For servants must their masters’ minds fulfil.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneIV_5.2"></a><b>SCENE II. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana</span> and
<span class="charname">Luciana</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?<br>
Might’st thou perceive austerely in his eye<br>
That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?<br>
Look’d he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?<br>
What observation mad’st thou in this case<br>
Of his heart’s meteors tilting in his face?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
First he denied you had in him no right.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
He meant he did me none; the more my spite.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Then pleaded I for you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
And what said he?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
That love I begg’d for you he begg’d of me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
With words that in an honest suit might move.<br>
First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Did’st speak him fair?
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Have patience, I beseech.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I cannot, nor I will not hold me still.<br>
My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.<br>
He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,<br>
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;<br>
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,<br>
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Who would be jealous then of such a one?<br>
No evil lost is wail’d when it is gone.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Ah, but I think him better than I say,<br>
And yet would herein others’ eyes were worse:<br>
Far from her nest the lapwing cries away;<br>
My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Here, go; the desk, the purse, sweet now, make haste.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
How hast thou lost thy breath?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
By running fast.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, he’s in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.<br>
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,<br>
One whose hard heart is button’d up with steel;<br>
A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;<br>
A wolf, nay worse, a fellow all in buff;<br>
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands<br>
The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands;<br>
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well,<br>
One that, before the judgement, carries poor souls to hell.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Why, man, what is the matter?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I do not know the matter. He is ’rested on the case.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well;<br>
But he’s in a suit of buff which ’rested him, that can I tell.<br>
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Go fetch it, sister. This I wonder at,
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Luciana</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
Thus he unknown to me should be in debt.<br>
Tell me, was he arrested on a band?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Not on a band, but on a stronger thing;<br>
A chain, a chain. Do you not hear it ring?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
What, the chain?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, no, the bell, ’tis time that I were gone.<br>
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
The hours come back! That did I never hear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, ’a turns back for very fear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
As if time were in debt. How fondly dost thou reason!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he’s worth to season.<br>
Nay, he’s a thief too. Have you not heard men say<br>
That time comes stealing on by night and day?<br>
If he be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way,<br>
Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Luciana</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Go, Dromio, there’s the money, bear it straight,<br>
And bring thy master home immediately.<br>
Come, sister, I am press’d down with conceit;<br>
Conceit, my comfort and my injury.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneIV_5.3"></a><b>SCENE III. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me<br>
As if I were their well-acquainted friend,<br>
And everyone doth call me by my name.<br>
Some tender money to me, some invite me;<br>
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;<br>
Some offer me commodities to buy.<br>
Even now a tailor call’d me in his shop,<br>
And show’d me silks that he had bought for me,<br>
And therewithal took measure of my body.<br>
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,<br>
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, here’s the gold you sent me for.<br>
What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparelled?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Not that Adam that kept the paradise, but that Adam that keeps
the prison; he that goes in the calf’s skin that was killed for
the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel,
and bid you forsake your liberty.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I understand thee not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No? Why, ’tis a plain case: he that went like a bass-viol in a case of
leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob, and
’rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits
of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a
morris-pike.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
What! thou mean’st an officer?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that
breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says,
“God give you good rest.”
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts
forth tonight? may we be gone?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark <i>Expedition</i> put
forth tonight, and then were you hindered by the sergeant to tarry for the hoy
<i>Delay</i>. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
The fellow is distract, and so am I,<br>
And here we wander in illusions.<br>
Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter a <span class="charname">Courtesan</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.<br>
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now.<br>
Is that the chain you promis’d me today?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, is this Mistress Satan?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
It is the devil.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Nay, she is worse, she is the devil’s dam; and here she comes in the
habit of a light wench, and thereof comes that the wenches say “God damn
me”, that’s as much to say, “God make me a light
wench.” It is written they appear to men like angels of light. Light is
an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not
near her.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.<br>
Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Why, Dromio?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Avoid then, fiend! What tell’st thou me of supping?<br>
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress.<br>
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,<br>
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis’d,<br>
And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Some devils ask but the paring of one’s nail,<br>
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,<br>
A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous,<br>
Would have a chain.<br>
Master, be wise; and if you give it her,<br>
The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain;<br>
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Fly pride, says the peacock. Mistress, that you know.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,<br>
Else would he never so demean himself.<br>
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,<br>
And for the same he promis’d me a chain;<br>
Both one and other he denies me now.<br>
The reason that I gather he is mad,<br>
Besides this present instance of his rage,<br>
Is a mad tale he told today at dinner<br>
Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.<br>
Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,<br>
On purpose shut the doors against his way.<br>
My way is now to hie home to his house,<br>
And tell his wife that, being lunatic,<br>
He rush’d into my house and took perforce<br>
My ring away. This course I fittest choose,<br>
For forty ducats is too much to lose.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit.</i>]
</p>

<h3><a id="sceneIV_5.4"></a><b>SCENE IV. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Ephesus</span>
with an <span class="charname">Officer</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Fear me not, man, I will not break away:<br>
I’ll give thee ere I leave thee so much money,<br>
To warrant thee, as I am ’rested for.<br>
My wife is in a wayward mood today,<br>
And will not lightly trust the messenger<br>
That I should be attach’d in Ephesus;<br>
I tell you ’twill sound harshly in her ears.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span> with a rope’s end.
</p>

<p class="drama">
Here comes my man. I think he brings the money.<br>
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
But where’s the money?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
To a rope’s end, sir; and to that end am I return’d.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Beating him.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER. <br>
Good sir, be patient.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Nay, ’tis for me to be patient. I am in adversity.
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
Good now, hold thy tongue.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Thou whoreson, senseless villain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I am an ass indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have served him from
the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my
service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm he
cools me with beating. I am waked with it when I sleep, raised with it when I
sit, driven out of doors with it when I go from home, welcomed home with it
when I return. Nay, I bear it on my shoulders as a beggar wont her brat; and I
think when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana, Luciana,
Courtesan</span> and a Schoolmaster called <span class="charname">Pinch</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Come, go along, my wife is coming yonder.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Mistress, <i>respice finem</i>, respect your end, or rather, the prophesy like
the parrot, “Beware the rope’s end.”
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Wilt thou still talk?<br>
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Beats him.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
His incivility confirms no less.<br>
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;<br>
Establish him in his true sense again,<br>
And I will please you what you will demand.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy.
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
I charge thee, Satan, hous’d within this man,<br>
To yield possession to my holy prayers,<br>
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight.<br>
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Peace, doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
You minion, you, are these your customers?<br>
Did this companion with the saffron face<br>
Revel and feast it at my house today,<br>
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,<br>
And I denied to enter in my house?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
O husband, God doth know you din’d at home,<br>
Where would you had remain’d until this time,<br>
Free from these slanders and this open shame.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Din’d at home? Thou villain, what sayest thou?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Were not my doors lock’d up and I shut out?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Perdy, your doors were lock’d, and you shut out.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And did not she herself revile me there?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Sans fable, she herself revil’d you there.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Certes, she did, the kitchen-vestal scorn’d you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And did not I in rage depart from thence?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
In verity, you did; my bones bear witness,<br>
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Is’t good to soothe him in these contraries?
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,<br>
And yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Thou hast suborn’d the goldsmith to arrest me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Alas! I sent you money to redeem you<br>
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Money by me? Heart and goodwill you might,<br>
But surely, master, not a rag of money.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Went’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
He came to me, and I deliver’d it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
And I am witness with her that she did.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
God and the rope-maker bear me witness<br>
That I was sent for nothing but a rope.
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
Mistress, both man and master is possess’d,<br>
I know it by their pale and deadly looks.<br>
They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth today,<br>
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
And gentle master, I receiv’d no gold;<br>
But I confess, sir, that we were lock’d out.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,<br>
And art confederate with a damned pack<br>
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me.<br>
But with these nails I’ll pluck out these false eyes<br>
That would behold in me this shameful sport.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives.
</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
O, bind him, bind him; let him not come near me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
More company; the fiend is strong within him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
What, will you murder me? Thou jailer, thou,<br>
I am thy prisoner. Wilt thou suffer them<br>
To make a rescue?
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
Masters, let him go.<br>
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
PINCH.<br>
Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?<br>
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man<br>
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
He is my prisoner. If I let him go,<br>
The debt he owes will be requir’d of me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I will discharge thee ere I go from thee;<br>
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,<br>
And knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.<br>
Good master doctor, see him safe convey’d<br>
Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
O most unhappy strumpet!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Master, I am here enter’d in bond for you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Will you be bound for nothing? Be mad, good master; cry, “the devil”.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt <span class="charname">Pinch</span> and Assistants, with
<span class="charname">Antipholus of Ephesus</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
Two hundred ducats.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Say, how grows it due?
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
Due for a chain your husband had of him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
When as your husband, all in rage, today<br>
Came to my house and took away my ring,<br>
The ring I saw upon his finger now,<br>
Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
It may be so, but I did never see it.<br>
Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is,<br>
I long to know the truth hereof at large.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span> with his rapier drawn, and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
God, for thy mercy, they are loose again!
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
And come with naked swords. Let’s call more help<br>
To have them bound again.
</p>

<p class="drama">
OFFICER.<br>
Away, they’ll kill us.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt, as fast as may be, frighted.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I see these witches are afraid of swords.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
She that would be your wife now ran from you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Come to the Centaur, fetch our stuff from thence.<br>
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Faith, stay here this night, they will surely do us no harm; you saw they speak
us fair, give us gold. Methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for the
mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to
stay here still and turn witch.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I will not stay tonight for all the town;<br>
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

</div><!--end chapter-->

<div class="chapter">

<h2><a id="sceneV_5.1"></a><b>ACT V</b></h2>

<h3><b>SCENE I. The same</b></h3>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Merchant</span> and
<span class="charname">Angelo</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder’d you,<br>
But I protest he had the chain of me,<br>
Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
How is the man esteem’d here in the city?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Of very reverend reputation, sir,<br>
Of credit infinite, highly belov’d,<br>
Second to none that lives here in the city.<br>
His word might bear my wealth at any time.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Speak softly. Yonder, as I think, he walks.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
’Tis so; and that self chain about his neck<br>
Which he forswore most monstrously to have.<br>
Good sir, draw near to me, I’ll speak to him.<br>
Signior Antipholus, I wonder much<br>
That you would put me to this shame and trouble,<br>
And not without some scandal to yourself,<br>
With circumstance and oaths so to deny<br>
This chain, which now you wear so openly.<br>
Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,<br>
You have done wrong to this my honest friend,<br>
Who, but for staying on our controversy,<br>
Had hoisted sail and put to sea today.<br>
This chain you had of me, can you deny it?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I think I had: I never did deny it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
These ears of mine, thou know’st, did hear thee.<br>
Fie on thee, wretch. ’Tis pity that thou liv’st<br>
To walk where any honest men resort.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Thou art a villain to impeach me thus;<br>
I’ll prove mine honour and mine honesty<br>
Against thee presently, if thou dar’st stand.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>They draw.</i>]
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan</span>
and others.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake, he is mad.<br>
Some get within him, take his sword away.<br>
Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Run, master, run, for God’s sake, take a house.<br>
This is some priory; in, or we are spoil’d.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Syracuse</span> to the priory.</i>]
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter Lady <span class="charname">Abbess</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.<br>
Let us come in, that we may bind him fast<br>
And bear him home for his recovery.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
How long hath this possession held the man?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,<br>
And much different from the man he was.<br>
But till this afternoon his passion<br>
Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?<br>
Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye<br>
Stray’d his affection in unlawful love?<br>
A sin prevailing much in youthful men<br>
Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?<br>
Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
To none of these, except it be the last,<br>
Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
You should for that have reprehended him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Why, so I did.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Ay, but not rough enough.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
As roughly as my modesty would let me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Haply in private.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
And in assemblies too.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Ay, but not enough.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
It was the copy of our conference.<br>
In bed he slept not for my urging it;<br>
At board he fed not for my urging it;<br>
Alone, it was the subject of my theme;<br>
In company I often glanced it;<br>
Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
And thereof came it that the man was mad.<br>
The venom clamours of a jealous woman<br>
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.<br>
It seems his sleeps were hindered by thy railing,<br>
And thereof comes it that his head is light.<br>
Thou say’st his meat was sauc’d with thy upbraidings.<br>
Unquiet meals make ill digestions;<br>
Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,<br>
And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?<br>
Thou say’st his sports were hinder’d by thy brawls.<br>
Sweet recreation barr’d, what doth ensue<br>
But moody and dull melancholy,<br>
Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,<br>
And at her heels a huge infectious troop<br>
Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?<br>
In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest<br>
To be disturb’d would mad or man or beast.<br>
The consequence is, then, thy jealous fits<br>
Hath scar’d thy husband from the use of’s wits.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
She never reprehended him but mildly,<br>
When he demean’d himself rough, rude, and wildly.<br>
Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
She did betray me to my own reproof.<br>
Good people, enter and lay hold on him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
No, not a creature enters in my house.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Neither. He took this place for sanctuary,<br>
And it shall privilege him from your hands<br>
Till I have brought him to his wits again,<br>
Or lose my labour in assaying it.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I will attend my husband, be his nurse,<br>
Diet his sickness, for it is my office,<br>
And will have no attorney but myself;<br>
And therefore let me have him home with me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Be patient, for I will not let him stir<br>
Till I have used the approved means I have,<br>
With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayers,<br>
To make of him a formal man again.<br>
It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,<br>
A charitable duty of my order;<br>
Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I will not hence and leave my husband here;<br>
And ill it doth beseem your holiness<br>
To separate the husband and the wife.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Be quiet and depart. Thou shalt not have him.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit <span class="charname">Abbess</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Complain unto the duke of this indignity.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Come, go. I will fall prostrate at his feet,<br>
And never rise until my tears and prayers<br>
Have won his grace to come in person hither<br>
And take perforce my husband from the abbess.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
By this, I think, the dial points at five.<br>
Anon, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person<br>
Comes this way to the melancholy vale,<br>
The place of death and sorry execution<br>
Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
Upon what cause?
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,<br>
Who put unluckily into this bay<br>
Against the laws and statutes of this town,<br>
Beheaded publicly for his offence.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
See where they come. We will behold his death.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Kneel to the Duke before he pass the abbey.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter the <span class="charname">Duke</span>, attended;
<span class="charname">Egeon</span>, bareheaded; with the
<span class="charname">Headsman</span> and other Officers.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Yet once again proclaim it publicly,<br>
If any friend will pay the sum for him,<br>
He shall not die; so much we tender him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
She is a virtuous and a reverend lady,<br>
It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband,<br>
Who I made lord of me and all I had<br>
At your important letters, this ill day<br>
A most outrageous fit of madness took him;<br>
That desp’rately he hurried through the street,<br>
With him his bondman all as mad as he,<br>
Doing displeasure to the citizens<br>
By rushing in their houses, bearing thence<br>
Rings, jewels, anything his rage did like.<br>
Once did I get him bound and sent him home,<br>
Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went,<br>
That here and there his fury had committed.<br>
Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,<br>
He broke from those that had the guard of him,<br>
And with his mad attendant and himself,<br>
Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,<br>
Met us again, and, madly bent on us,<br>
Chased us away; till raising of more aid,<br>
We came again to bind them. Then they fled<br>
Into this abbey, whither we pursued them.<br>
And here the abbess shuts the gates on us,<br>
And will not suffer us to fetch him out,<br>
Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.<br>
Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command<br>
Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Long since thy husband serv’d me in my wars,<br>
And I to thee engag’d a prince’s word,<br>
When thou didst make him master of thy bed,<br>
To do him all the grace and good I could.<br>
Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate,<br>
And bid the lady abbess come to me.<br>
I will determine this before I stir.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter a <span class="charname">Messenger</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MESSENGER.<br>
O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself.<br>
My master and his man are both broke loose,<br>
Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,<br>
Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire,<br>
And ever as it blazed they threw on him<br>
Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair.<br>
My master preaches patience to him, and the while<br>
His man with scissors nicks him like a fool;<br>
And sure (unless you send some present help)<br>
Between them they will kill the conjurer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Peace, fool, thy master and his man are here,<br>
And that is false thou dost report to us.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MESSENGER.<br>
Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true.<br>
I have not breath’d almost since I did see it.<br>
He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,<br>
To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Cry within.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress. Fly, be gone!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Come, stand by me, fear nothing. Guard with halberds.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Ay me, it is my husband. Witness you<br>
That he is borne about invisible.<br>
Even now we hous’d him in the abbey here,<br>
And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter <span class="charname">Antipholus</span> and
<span class="charname">Dromio of Ephesus</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Justice, most gracious duke; O, grant me justice!<br>
Even for the service that long since I did thee<br>
When I bestrid thee in the wars, and took<br>
Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood<br>
That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,<br>
I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there.<br>
She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife;<br>
That hath abused and dishonour’d me<br>
Even in the strength and height of injury.<br>
Beyond imagination is the wrong<br>
That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me<br>
While she with harlots feasted in my house.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
A grievous fault. Say, woman, didst thou so?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister<br>
Today did dine together. So befall my soul<br>
As this is false he burdens me withal.
</p>

<p class="drama">
LUCIANA.<br>
Ne’er may I look on day nor sleep on night<br>
But she tells to your highness simple truth.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
O perjur’d woman! They are both forsworn.<br>
In this the madman justly chargeth them.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
My liege, I am advised what I say,<br>
Neither disturb’d with the effect of wine,<br>
Nor heady-rash, provok’d with raging ire,<br>
Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.<br>
This woman lock’d me out this day from dinner.<br>
That goldsmith there, were he not pack’d with her,<br>
Could witness it, for he was with me then,<br>
Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,<br>
Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,<br>
Where Balthasar and I did dine together.<br>
Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,<br>
I went to seek him. In the street I met him,<br>
And in his company that gentleman.<br>
There did this perjur’d goldsmith swear me down<br>
That I this day of him receiv’d the chain,<br>
Which, God he knows, I saw not. For the which<br>
He did arrest me with an officer.<br>
I did obey, and sent my peasant home<br>
For certain ducats. He with none return’d.<br>
Then fairly I bespoke the officer<br>
To go in person with me to my house.<br>
By th’ way we met<br>
My wife, her sister, and a rabble more<br>
Of vile confederates. Along with them<br>
They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,<br>
A mere anatomy, a mountebank,<br>
A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller;<br>
A needy, hollow-ey’d, sharp-looking wretch;<br>
A living dead man. This pernicious slave,<br>
Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,<br>
And gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,<br>
And with no face (as ’twere) outfacing me,<br>
Cries out, I was possess’d. Then altogether<br>
They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,<br>
And in a dark and dankish vault at home<br>
There left me and my man, both bound together,<br>
Till gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,<br>
I gain’d my freedom and immediately<br>
Ran hither to your Grace, whom I beseech<br>
To give me ample satisfaction<br>
For these deep shames and great indignities.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,<br>
That he din’d not at home, but was lock’d out.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
But had he such a chain of thee, or no?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
He had, my lord, and when he ran in here<br>
These people saw the chain about his neck.
</p>

<p class="drama">
MERCHANT.<br>
Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine<br>
Heard you confess you had the chain of him,<br>
After you first forswore it on the mart,<br>
And thereupon I drew my sword on you;<br>
And then you fled into this abbey here,<br>
From whence I think you are come by miracle.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I never came within these abbey walls,<br>
Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me.<br>
I never saw the chain, so help me heaven;<br>
And this is false you burden me withal.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Why, what an intricate impeach is this!<br>
I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.<br>
If here you hous’d him, here he would have been.<br>
If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.<br>
You say he din’d at home, the goldsmith here<br>
Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
He did, and from my finger snatch’d that ring.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
’Tis true, my liege, this ring I had of her.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither.<br>
I think you are all mated, or stark mad.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exit one to the Abbess.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Most mighty Duke, vouchsafe me speak a word;<br>
Haply I see a friend will save my life<br>
And pay the sum that may deliver me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus?<br>
And is not that your bondman Dromio?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,<br>
But he, I thank him, gnaw’d in two my cords.<br>
Now am I Dromio, and his man, unbound.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
I am sure you both of you remember me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you.<br>
For lately we were bound as you are now.<br>
You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I never saw you in my life till now.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
O! grief hath chang’d me since you saw me last,<br>
And careful hours with time’s deformed hand,<br>
Have written strange defeatures in my face.<br>
But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Neither.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Dromio, nor thou?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
No, trust me, sir, nor I.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
I am sure thou dost.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not, and whatsoever a man denies, you
are now bound to believe him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
Not know my voice! O time’s extremity,<br>
Hast thou so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue<br>
In seven short years that here my only son<br>
Knows not my feeble key of untun’d cares?<br>
Though now this grained face of mine be hid<br>
In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,<br>
And all the conduits of my blood froze up,<br>
Yet hath my night of life some memory,<br>
My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,<br>
My dull deaf ears a little use to hear.<br>
All these old witnesses, I cannot err,<br>
Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I never saw my father in my life.
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,<br>
Thou know’st we parted; but perhaps, my son,<br>
Thou sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
The duke and all that know me in the city,<br>
Can witness with me that it is not so.<br>
I ne’er saw Syracusa in my life.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years<br>
Have I been patron to Antipholus,<br>
During which time he ne’er saw Syracusa.<br>
I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
</p>

<p class="scenedesc">
Enter the <span class="charname">Abbess</span> with
<span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span> and <span class="charname">Dromio
of Syracuse</span>.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong’d.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>All gather to see them.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
One of these men is <i>genius</i> to the other;<br>
And so of these, which is the natural man,<br>
And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I, sir, am Dromio, command him away.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
I, sir, am Dromio, pray let me stay.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Egeon, art thou not? or else his ghost?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
O, my old master, who hath bound him here?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds,<br>
And gain a husband by his liberty.<br>
Speak, old Egeon, if thou be’st the man<br>
That hadst a wife once called Emilia,<br>
That bore thee at a burden two fair sons.<br>
O, if thou be’st the same Egeon, speak,<br>
And speak unto the same Emilia!
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Why, here begins his morning story right:<br>
These two Antipholus’, these two so like,<br>
And these two Dromios, one in semblance,<br>
Besides her urging of her wreck at sea.<br>
These are the parents to these children,<br>
Which accidentally are met together.<br>
</p>

<p class="drama">
EGEON.<br>
If I dream not, thou art Emilia.<br>
If thou art she, tell me where is that son<br>
That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
By men of Epidamnum, he and I<br>
And the twin Dromio, all were taken up;<br>
But, by and by, rude fishermen of Corinth<br>
By force took Dromio and my son from them,<br>
And me they left with those of Epidamnum.<br>
What then became of them I cannot tell;<br>
I to this fortune that you see me in.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Antipholus, thou cam’st from Corinth first?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
No, sir, not I, I came from Syracuse.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
Stay, stand apart, I know not which is which.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
And I with him.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,<br>
Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
Which of you two did dine with me today?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I, gentle mistress.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
And are not you my husband?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
No, I say nay to that.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
And so do I, yet did she call me so;<br>
And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,<br>
Did call me brother. What I told you then,<br>
I hope I shall have leisure to make good,<br>
If this be not a dream I see and hear.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
I think it be, sir. I deny it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANGELO.<br>
I think I did, sir. I deny it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ADRIANA.<br>
I sent you money, sir, to be your bail<br>
By Dromio, but I think he brought it not.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
No, none by me.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
This purse of ducats I receiv’d from you,<br>
And Dromio my man did bring them me.<br>
I see we still did meet each other’s man,<br>
And I was ta’en for him, and he for me,<br>
And thereupon these errors are arose.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
These ducats pawn I for my father here.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
It shall not need, thy father hath his life.
</p>

<p class="drama">
COURTESAN.<br>
Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
There, take it, and much thanks for my good cheer.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ABBESS.<br>
Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains<br>
To go with us into the abbey here,<br>
And hear at large discoursed all our fortunes;<br>
And all that are assembled in this place,<br>
That by this sympathised one day’s error<br>
Have suffer’d wrong, go, keep us company,<br>
And we shall make full satisfaction.<br>
Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail<br>
Of you, my sons, and till this present hour<br>
My heavy burden ne’er delivered.<br>
The duke, my husband, and my children both,<br>
And you, the calendars of their nativity,<br>
Go to a gossips’ feast, and go with me.<br>
After so long grief, such nativity.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DUKE.<br>
With all my heart, I’ll gossip at this feast.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt except the two <span class="charname">Dromios</span>
and two Brothers.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.<br>
Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark’d?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
</p>

<p class="drama">
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE.<br>
He speaks to me; I am your master, Dromio.<br>
Come, go with us. We’ll look to that anon.<br>
Embrace thy brother there, rejoice with him.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt <span class="charname">Antipholus of Syracuse</span>
and <span class="charname">Antipholus of Ephesus</span>.</i>]
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
There is a fat friend at your master’s house,<br>
That kitchen’d me for you today at dinner.<br>
She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother.<br>
I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.<br>
Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
Not I, sir, you are my elder.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
That’s a question, how shall we try it?
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.<br>
We’ll draw cuts for the senior. Till then, lead thou first.
</p>

<p class="drama">
DROMIO OF EPHESUS.<br>
Nay, then, thus:<br>
We came into the world like brother and brother,<br>
And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.
</p>

<p class="right">
[<i>Exeunt.</i>]
</p>

</div><!--end chapter-->

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  <div style="font-size: large; text-align: center;"><b>Transcriber’s Notes</b></div>
  <ul>
    <li>New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the public domain.</li>
  </ul>
</div>

<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1504 ***</div>
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