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diff --git a/old/1475.txt b/old/1475.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f0d3feb --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1475.txt @@ -0,0 +1,892 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Gaudissart II, by Honore de Balzac + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Gaudissart II + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Clara Bell and Others + +Release Date: September, 1998 [Etext #1475] +Posting Date: February 25, 2010 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GAUDISSART II *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + + + + + +GAUDISSART II. + + +By Honore De Balzac + + +Translated by Clara Bell and Others + + + + DEDICATION + + To Madame la Princesse Cristina de Belgiojoso, nee Trivulzio. + + + + + +GAUDISSART II. + + +To know how to sell, to be able to sell, and to sell. People generally +do not suspect how much of the stateliness of Paris is due to these +three aspects of the same problem. The brilliant display of shops as +rich as the salons of the noblesse before 1789; the splendors of cafes +which eclipse, and easily eclipse, the Versailles of our day; the +shop-window illusions, new every morning, nightly destroyed; the grace +and elegance of the young men that come in contact with fair customers; +the piquant faces and costumes of young damsels, who cannot fail to +attract the masculine customer; and (and this especially of late) +the length, the vast spaces, the Babylonish luxury of galleries where +shopkeepers acquire a monopoly of the trade in various articles by +bringing them all together,--all this is as nothing. Everything, so far, +has been done to appeal to a single sense, and that the most exacting +and jaded human faculty, a faculty developed ever since the days of the +Roman Empire, until, in our own times, thanks to the efforts of the most +fastidious civilization the world has yet seen, its demands are grown +limitless. That faculty resides in the "eyes of Paris." + +Those eyes require illuminations costing a hundred thousand francs, and +many-colored glass palaces a couple of miles long and sixty feet high; +they must have a fairyland at some fourteen theatres every night, and a +succession of panoramas and exhibitions of the triumphs of art; for them +a whole world of suffering and pain, and a universe of joy, must resolve +through the boulevards or stray through the streets of Paris; for them +encyclopaedias of carnival frippery and a score of illustrated books are +brought out every year, to say nothing of caricatures by the hundred, +and vignettes, lithographs, and prints by the thousand. To please those +eyes, fifteen thousand francs' worth of gas must blaze every night; and, +to conclude, for their delectation the great city yearly spends several +millions of francs in opening up views and planting trees. And even yet +this is as nothing--it is only the material side of the question; in +truth, a mere trifle compared with the expenditure of brain power on the +shifts, worthy of Moliere, invented by some sixty thousand assistants +and forty thousand damsels of the counter, who fasten upon the +customer's purse, much as myriads of Seine whitebait fall upon a chance +crust floating down the river. + +Gaudissart in the mart is at least the equal of his illustrious +namesake, now become the typical commercial traveler. Take him away from +his shop and his line of business, he is like a collapsed balloon; only +among his bales of merchandise do his faculties return, much as an actor +is sublime only upon the boards. A French shopman is better educated +than his fellows in other European countries; he can at need talk +asphalt, Bal Mabille, polkas, literature, illustrated books, railways, +politics, parliament, and revolution; transplant him, take away his +stage, his yardstick, his artificial graces; he is foolish beyond +belief; but on his own boards, on the tight-rope of the counter, as he +displays a shawl with a speech at his tongue's end, and his eye on his +customer, he puts the great Talleyrand into the shade; he is a match for +a Monrose and a Moliere to boot. Talleyrand in his own house would +have outwitted Gaudissart, but in the shop the parts would have been +reversed. + +An incident will illustrate the paradox. + +Two charming duchesses were chatting with the above-mentioned great +diplomatist. The ladies wished for a bracelet; they were waiting for the +arrival of a man from a great Parisian jeweler. A Gaudissart accordingly +appeared with three bracelets of marvelous workmanship. The great ladies +hesitated. Choice is a mental lightning flash; hesitate--there is no +more to be said, you are at fault. Inspiration in matters of taste will +not come twice. At last, after about ten minutes the Prince was called +in. He saw the two duchesses confronting doubt with its thousand facets, +unable to decide between the transcendent merits of two of the trinkets, +for the third had been set aside at once. Without leaving his book, +without a glance at the bracelets, the Prince looked at the jeweler's +assistant. + +"Which would you choose for your sweetheart?" asked he. + +The young man indicated one of the pair. + +"In that case, take the other, you will make two women happy," said the +subtlest of modern diplomatists, "and make your sweetheart happy too, in +my name." + +The two fair ladies smiled, and the young shopman took his departure, +delighted with the Prince's present and the implied compliment to his +taste. + +A woman alights from her splendid carriage before one of the expensive +shops where shawls are sold in the Rue Vivienne. She is not alone; women +almost always go in pairs on these expeditions; always make the round +of half a score of shops before they make up their minds, and laugh +together in the intervals over the little comedies played for their +benefit. Let us see which of the two acts most in character--the fair +customer or the seller, and which has the best of it in such miniature +vaudevilles? + +If you attempt to describe a sale, the central fact of Parisian trade, +you are in duty bound, if you attempt to give the gist of the matter, +to produce a type, and for this purpose a shawl or a chatelaine costing +some three thousand francs is a more exacting purchase than a length of +lawn or dress that costs three hundred. But know, oh foreign visitors +from the Old World and the New (if ever this study of the physiology +of the Invoice should be by you perused), that this selfsame comedy is +played in haberdashers' shops over a barege at two francs or a printed +muslin at four francs the yard. + +And you, princess, or simple citizen's wife, whichever you may be, how +should you distrust that good-looking, very young man, with those frank, +innocent eyes, and a cheek like a peach covered with down? He is dressed +almost as well as your--cousin, let us say. His tones are soft as the +woolen stuffs which he spreads before you. There are three or four more +of his like. One has dark eyes, a decided expression, and an imperial +manner of saying, "This is what you wish"; another, that blue-eyed +youth, diffident of manner and meek of speech, prompts the remark, "Poor +boy! he was not born for business"; a third, with light auburn hair, and +laughing tawny eyes, has all the lively humor, and activity, and gaiety +of the South; while the fourth, he of the tawny red hair and fan-shaped +beard, is rough as a communist, with his portentous cravat, his +sternness, his dignity, and curt speech. + +These varieties of shopmen, corresponding to the principal types of +feminine customers, are arms, as it were, directed by the head, a stout +personage with a full-blown countenance, a partially bald forehead, and +a chest measure befitting a Ministerialist deputy. Occasionally this +person wears the ribbon of the Legion of Honor in recognition of the +manner in which he supports the dignity of the French drapers' wand. +From the comfortable curves of his figure you can see that he has a wife +and family, a country house, and an account with the Bank of France. He +descends like a _deus ex machina_, whenever a tangled problem demands a +swift solution. The feminine purchasers are surrounded on all sides +with urbanity, youth, pleasant manners, smiles, and jests; the most +seeming-simple human products of civilization are here, all sorted in +shades to suit all tastes. + +Just one word as to the natural effects of architecture, optical +science, and house decoration; one short, decisive, terrible word, of +history made on the spot. The work which contains this instructive page +is sold at number 76 Rue de Richelieu, where above an elegant shop, all +white and gold and crimson velvet, there is an entresol into which +the light pours straight from the Rue de Menars, as into a painter's +studio--clean, clear, even daylight. What idler in the streets has not +beheld the Persian, that Asiatic potentate, ruffling it above the door +at the corner of the Rue de la Bourse and the Rue de Richelieu, with a +message to deliver _urbi et orbi_, "Here I reign more tranquilly than at +Lahore"? Perhaps but for this immortal analytical study, archaeologists +might begin to puzzle their heads about him five hundred years hence, +and set about writing quartos with plates (like M. Quatremere's work +on Olympian Jove) to prove that Napoleon was something of a Sofi in the +East before he became "Emperor of the French." Well, the wealthy shop +laid siege to the poor little entresol; and after a bombardment with +banknotes, entered and took possession. The Human Comedy gave way before +the comedy of cashmeres. The Persian sacrificed a diamond or two from +his crown to buy that so necessary daylight; for a ray of sunlight shows +the play of the colors, brings out the charms of a shawl, and doubles +its value; 'tis an irresistible light; literally, a golden ray. From +this fact you may judge how far Paris shops are arranged with a view to +effect. + +But to return to the young assistants, to the beribboned man of forty +whom the King of the French receives at his table, to the red-bearded +head of the department with his autocrat's air. Week by week these +meritus Gaudissarts are brought in contact with whims past counting; +they know every vibration of the cashmere chord in the heart of +woman. No one, be she lady or lorette, a young mother of a family, a +respectable tradesman's wife, a woman of easy virtue, a duchess or a +brazen-fronted ballet-dancer, an innocent young girl or a too innocent +foreigner, can appear in the shop, but she is watched from the moment +when she first lays her fingers upon the door-handle. Her measure is +taken at a glance by seven or eight men that stand, in the windows, +at the counter, by the door, in a corner, in the middle of the shop, +meditating, to all appearance, on the joys of a bacchanalian Sunday +holiday. As you look at them, you ask yourself involuntarily, "What can +they be thinking about?" Well, in the space of one second, a woman's +purse, wishes, intentions, and whims are ransacked more thoroughly +than a traveling carriage at a frontier in an hour and three-quarters. +Nothing is lost on these intelligent rogues. As they stand, solemn +as noble fathers on the stage, they take in all the details of a +fair customer's dress; an invisible speck of mud on a little shoe, an +antiquated hat-brim, soiled or ill-judged bonnet-strings, the fashion of +the dress, the age of a pair of gloves. They can tell whether the gown +was cut by the intelligent scissors of a Victorine IV.; they know a +modish gewgaw or a trinket from Froment-Meurice. Nothing, in short, +which can reveal a woman's quality, fortune, or character passes +unremarked. + +Tremble before them. Never was the Sanhedrim of Gaudissarts, with +their chief at their head, known to make a mistake. And, moreover, they +communicate their conclusions to one another with telegraphic speed, in +a glance, a smile, the movement of a muscle, a twitch of the lip. If you +watch them, you are reminded of the sudden outbreak of light along +the Champs-Elysees at dusk; one gas-jet does not succeed another more +swiftly than an idea flashes from one shopman's eyes to the next. + +At once, if the lady is English, the dark, mysterious, portentous +Gaudissart advances like a romantic character out of one of Byron's +poems. + +If she is a city madam, the oldest is put forward. He brings out a +hundred shawls in fifteen minutes; he turns her head with colors and +patterns; every shawl that he shows her is like a circle described by a +kite wheeling round a hapless rabbit, till at the end of half an hour, +when her head is swimming and she is utterly incapable of making a +decision for herself, the good lady, meeting with a flattering response +to all her ideas, refers the question to the assistant, who promptly +leaves her on the horns of a dilemma between two equally irresistible +shawls. + +"This, madame, is very becoming--apple-green, the color of the season; +still, fashions change; while as for this other black-and-white shawl +(an opportunity not to be missed), you will never see the end of it, and +it will go with any dress." + +This is the A B C of the trade. + +"You would not believe how much eloquence is wanted in that beastly +line," the head Gaudissart of this particular establishment remarked +quite lately to two acquaintances (Duronceret and Bixiou) who had come +trusting in his judgment to buy a shawl. "Look here; you are artists and +discreet, I can tell you about the governor's tricks, and of all the men +I ever saw, he is the cleverest. I do not mean as a manufacturer, there +M. Fritot is first; but as a salesman. He discovered the 'Selim shawl,' +_an absolutely unsalable_ article, yet we never bring it out but we +sell it. We keep always a shawl worth five or six hundred francs in a +cedar-wood box, perfectly plain outside, but lined with satin. It is +one of the shawls that Selim sent to the Emperor Napoleon. It is our +Imperial Guard; it is brought to the front whenever the day is almost +lost; _il se vend et ne meurt pas_--it sells its life dearly time after +time." + +As he spoke, an Englishwoman stepped from her jobbed carriage and +appeared in all the glory of that phlegmatic humor peculiar to +Britain and to all its products which make believe they are alive. The +apparition put you in mind of the Commandant's statue in Don Juan, it +walked along, jerkily by fits and starts, in an awkward fashion invented +in London, and cultivated in every family with patriotic care. + +"An Englishwoman!" he continued for Bixiou's ear. "An Englishwoman is +our Waterloo. There are women who slip through our fingers like eels; we +catch them on the staircase. There are lorettes who chaff us, we join +in the laugh, we have a hold on them because we give credit. There +are sphinx-like foreign ladies; we take a quantity of shawls to +their houses, and arrive at an understanding by flattery; but an +Englishwoman!--you might as well attack the bronze statue of Louis +Quatorze! That sort of woman turns shopping into an occupation, an +amusement. She quizzes us, forsooth!" + +The romantic assistant came to the front. + +"Does madame wish for real Indian shawls or French, something expensive +or----" + +"I will see." (_Je veraie_.) + +"How much would madame propose----" + +"I will see." + +The shopman went in quest of shawls to spread upon the mantle-stand, +giving his colleagues a significant glance. "What a bore!" he said +plainly, with an almost imperceptible shrug of the shoulders. + +"These are our best quality in Indian red, blue, and pale orange--all at +ten thousand francs. Here are shawls at five thousand francs, and others +at three." + +The Englishwoman took up her eyeglass and looked round the room with +gloomy indifference; then she submitted the three stands to the same +scrutiny, and made no sign. + +"Have you any more?" (_Havaivod'hote_?) demanded she. + +"Yes, madame. But perhaps madame has not quite decided to take a shawl?" + +"Oh, quite decided" (_trei-deycidai_). + +The young man went in search of cheaper wares. These he spread out +solemnly as if they were things of price, saying by his manner, "Pay +attention to all this magnificence!" + +"These are much more expensive," said he. "They have never been worn; +they have come by courier direct from the manufacturers at Lahore." + +"Oh! I see," said she; "they are much more like the thing I want." + +The shopman kept his countenance in spite of inward irritation, which +communicated itself to Duronceret and Bixiou. The Englishwoman, cool as +a cucumber, appeared to rejoice in her phlegmatic humor. + +"What price?" she asked, indicating a sky-blue shawl covered with a +pattern of birds nestling in pagodas. + +"Seven thousand francs." + +She took it up, wrapped it about her shoulders, looked in the glass, and +handed it back again. + +"No, I do not like it at all." (_Je n'ame pouinte_.) + +A long quarter of an hour went by in trying on other shawls; to no +purpose. + +"This is all we have, madame," said the assistant, glancing at the +master as he spoke. + +"Madame is fastidious, like all persons of taste," said the head of the +establishment, coming forward with that tradesman's suavity in which +pomposity is agreeably blended with subservience. The Englishwoman +took up her eyeglass and scanned the manufacturer from head to foot, +unwilling to understand that the man before her was eligible for +Parliament and dined at the Tuileries. + +"I have only one shawl left," he continued, "but I never show it. It is +not to everybody's taste; it is quite out of the common. I was thinking +of giving it to my wife. We have had it in stock since 1805; it belonged +to the Empress Josephine." + +"Let me see it, monsieur." + +"Go for it," said the master, turning to a shopman. "It is at my house." + +"I should be very much pleased to see it," said the English lady. + +This was a triumph. The splenetic dame was apparently on the point of +going. She made as though she saw nothing but the shawls; but all +the while she furtively watched the shopmen and the two customers, +sheltering her eyes behind the rims of her eyeglasses. + +"It cost sixty thousand francs in Turkey, madame." + +"Oh!" (_hau_!) + +"It is one of seven shawls which Selim sent, before his fall, to the +Emperor Napoleon. The Empress Josephine, a Creole, as you know, my +lady, and very capricious in her tastes, exchanged this one for another +brought by the Turkish ambassador, and purchased by my predecessor; +but I have never seen the money back. Our ladies in France are not rich +enough; it is not as it is in England. The shawl is worth seven thousand +francs; and taking interest and compound interest altogether, it makes +up fourteen or fifteen thousand by now--" + +"How does it make up?" asked the Englishwoman. + +"Here it is, madame." + +With precautions, which a custodian of the Dresden _Grune Gewolbe_ +might have admired, he took out an infinitesimal key and opened a square +cedar-wood box. The Englishwoman was much impressed with its shape and +plainness. From that box, lined with black satin, he drew a shawl worth +about fifteen hundred francs, a black pattern on a golden-yellow ground, +of which the startling color was only surpassed by the surprising +efforts of the Indian imagination. + +"Splendid," said the lady, in a mixture of French and English, "it +is really handsome. Just my ideal" (_ideol_) "of a shawl; it is very +magnificent." The rest was lost in a madonna's pose assumed for the +purpose of displaying a pair of frigid eyes which she believed to be +very fine. + +"It was a great favorite with the Emperor Napoleon; he took----" + +"A great favorite," repeated she with her English accent. Then she +arranged the shawl about her shoulders and looked at herself in the +glass. The proprietor took it to the light, gathered it up in his hands, +smoothed it out, showed the gloss on it, played on it as Liszt plays on +the pianoforte keys. + +"It is very fine; beautiful, sweet!" said the lady, as composedly as +possible. + +Duronceret, Bixiou, and the shopmen exchanged amused glances. "The shawl +is sold," they thought. + +"Well, madame?" inquired the proprietor, as the Englishwoman appeared to +be absorbed in meditations infinitely prolonged. + +"Decidedly," said she; "I would rather have a carriage" (_une voteure_). + +All the assistants, listening with silent rapt attention, started as one +man, as if an electric shock had gone through them. + +"I have a very handsome one, madame," said the proprietor with unshaken +composure; "it belonged to a Russian princess, the Princess Narzicof; +she left it with me in payment for goods received. If madame would like +to see it, she would be astonished. It is new; it has not been in use +altogether for ten days; there is not its like in Paris." + +The shopmen's amazement was suppressed by profound admiration. + +"I am quite willing." + +"If madame will keep the shawl," suggested the proprietor, "she can try +the effect in the carriage." And he went for his hat and gloves. + +"How will this end?" asked the head assistant, as he watched his +employer offer an arm to the English lady and go down with her to the +jobbed brougham. + +By this time the thing had come to be as exciting as the last chapter of +a novel for Duronceret and Bixiou, even without the additional interest +attached to all contests, however trifling, between England and France. + +Twenty minutes later the proprietor returned. + +"Go to the Hotel Lawson (here is the card, 'Mrs. Noswell'), and take an +invoice that I will give you. There are six thousand francs to take." + +"How did you do it?" asked Duronceret, bowing before the king of +invoices. + +"Oh, I saw what she was, an eccentric woman that loves to be +conspicuous. As soon as she saw that every one stared at her, she said, +'Keep your carriage, monsieur, my mind is made up; I will take the +shawl.' While M. Bigorneau (indicating the romantic-looking assistant) +was serving, I watched her carefully; she kept one eye on you all the +time to see what you thought of her; she was thinking more about you +than of the shawls. Englishwomen are peculiar in their _distaste_ (for +one cannot call it taste); they do not know what they want; they make up +their minds to be guided by circumstances at the time, and not by their +own choice. I saw the kind of woman at once, tired of her husband, tired +of her brats, regretfully virtuous, craving excitement, always posing as +a weeping willow...." + +These were his very words. + +Which proves that in all other countries of the world a shopkeeper is +a shopkeeper; while in France, and in Paris more particularly, he is a +student from a College Royal, a well-read man with a taste for art, or +angling, or the theatre, and consumed, it may be, with a desire to be +M. Cunin-Gridaine's successor, or a colonel of the National Guard, or +a member of the General Council of the Seine, or a referee in the +Commercial Court. + +"M. Adolphe," said the mistress of the establishment, addressing the +slight fair-haired assistant, "go to the joiner and order another +cedar-wood box." + +"And now," remarked the shopman who had assisted Duronceret and Bixiou +to choose a shawl for Mme. Schontz, "_now_ we will go through our old +stock to find another Selim shawl." + + +PARIS, November 1844. + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + A Man of Business + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Ronceret, Fabien-Felicien du (or Duronceret) + Jealousies of a Country Town + Beatrix + + Talleyrand-Perigord, Charles-Maurice de + The Chouans + The Gondreville Mystery + The Thirteen + Letters of Two Brides + + Victorine + Massimilla Doni + Lost Illusions + Letters of Two Brides + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Gaudissart II, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GAUDISSART II *** + +***** This file should be named 1475.txt or 1475.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/7/1475/ + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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