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diff --git a/old/14730.txt b/old/14730.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5fa48a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14730.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12162 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Redemption of David Corson, by Charles +Frederic Goss + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Redemption of David Corson + +Author: Charles Frederic Goss + +Release Date: January 19, 2005 [eBook #14730] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REDEMPTION OF DAVID CORSON*** + + +E-text prepared by Audrey Longhurst, Charlie Kirschner, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +THE REDEMPTION OF DAVID CORSON + +by + +CHARLES FREDERIC GOSS + +The Bowen-Merrill Company + +1900 + + + + + + + +_To my friend +William Harvey Anderson_ + + + + +Contents + + I. This Other Eden + II. And Satan Came Also + III. The Egyptians + IV. The Woman + V. The Light That Lies + VI. The Trail of the Serpent + VII. The Chance Word + VIII. A Broken Reed + IX. Where Paths Converge + X. A Poisoned Spring + XI. The Flesh and the Devil + XII. The Moth and the Flame + XIII. Found Wanting + XIV. Turned Tempter + XV. The Snare of the Fowler + XVI. The Derelicts + XVII. The Shadow of Death + XVIII. A Fugitive and a Vagabond + XIX. Alienation + XX. The Inevitable Hour + XXI. A Signal in the Night + XXII. Heart Hunger + XXIII. Where I Might Find Him + XXIV. Safe Haven + XXV. The Little Lad + XXVI. Out of the Shadow + XXVII. If Thine Enemy Hunger +XXVIII. A Man Crossed With Adversity + XXIX. As a Tale That is Told + XXX. Out of the Jaws of Death + XXXI. The Great Refusal + XXXII. The End of Exile +XXXIII. A Self-imposed Expiation + XXXIV. Fasting in the Wilderness + XXXV. A Forest Idyl + XXXVI. The Supreme Test +XXXVII. Paradise Regained + + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THIS OTHER EDEN + + "This other Eden, demi-paradise, this fortress built by nature." + --Richard II. + +Hidden away in this worn and care-encumbered world, scarred with its +frequent traces of a primeval curse, are spots so quiet and beautiful as +to make the fall of man seem incredible, and awaken in the breast of the +weary traveler who comes suddenly upon them, a vague and dear delusion +that he has stumbled into Paradise. + +Such an Eden existed in the extreme western part of Ohio in the spring +of eighteen hundred and forty-nine. It was a valley surrounded by wooded +hills and threaded by a noisy brook which hastily made its way, as if +upon some errand of immense importance, down to the big Miami not many +miles distant. A road cut through a vast and solemn forest led into the +valley, and entering as if by a corridor and through the open portal of +a temple, the traveler saw a white farm-house nestling beneath a mighty +hackberry tree whose wide-reaching arms sheltered it from summer sun +and winter wind. A deep, wide lawn of bluegrass lay in front, and a +garden of flowers, fragrant and brilliant, on its southern side. +Stretching away into the background was the farm newly carved out of the +wilderness, but already in a high state of cultivation. All those +influences which stir the deepest emotion of the heart were silently +operating here--quiet, order, beauty, power, life. It affected one to +enter it unprepared in much the same way, only with a greater variety +and richness of emotion, as to push through dense brush and suddenly +behold a mountain lake upon whose bosom there is not so much as a +ripple, and in whose silver mirror surrounding forests, flying +water-fowl and the bright disk of the sun are perfectly reflected. + +In this lovely valley, at the close of a long, odorous, sun-drenched day +in early May, the sacred silence was broken by a raucous blast from that +most unmusical of instruments, a tin dinner horn. It was blown by a +bare-legged country boy who seemed to take delight in this profanation. +By his side, in the vine-clad porch of the white farm-house stood a +woman who shaded her eyes with her hand as she looked toward a vague +object in a distant meadow. She was no longer young, but had exchanged +the exquisite beauty of youth for the finer and more impressive beauty +of maturity. As the light of the setting sun fell full upon her face it +seemed almost transparent, and even the unobserving must have perceived +that some deep experience of the sadness of life had added to her +character an indescribable charm. + +"Thee will have to go and call him, Stephen, for I think he has fallen +into another trance," the woman said, in a low voice in which there was +not a trace of impatience, although the evening meal was waiting and the +pressing work of the household had been long delayed. + +The child threw down his dinner horn, whistled to his dog and started. +Springing up from where he had been watching every expression of his +master's face, the shaggy collie bounded around him as he moved across +the lawn, while the woman watched them with a proud and happy smile. +They had scarcely entered the long lane leading to the pasture, when a +woodchuck shambled out of the corner of the fence and ran lumbering into +his burrow. Rushing excitedly after him the child clapped his hands and +shouted: "Dig him out! Dig him out, Shep!" Tearing up the ground with +his paws and thrusting his head down into the subterranean chamber, the +obedient collie yelped and whined. Then backing out and plunging in once +more, he yelped and whined again. The hole was too deep or the time too +short and the boy became discouraged. Moving reluctantly away he +chidingly summoned his companion to follow him. The dog, humiliated by +his failure, obeyed, and sheepishly licked his mouth with his long, red +tongue. + +By this time the sun's disk had sunk behind the hills, its trailing +glory lingering above their summits while slowly in the sky faded +continents, mountains and spires. The day had died regretfully upon a +couch o'erhung with gorgeous canopies, and the ensanguined bier still +seemed to tremble with his last sigh. Birds in the tops of trees and +crickets beneath the sod were giving expression to the emotions of the +sad heart of the great earth in melancholy evening songs. The odors of +peach and apple blossoms, wafted by gentle breezes from distant +orchards, made the valley fragrant as an oriental garden. The soothing +influence of the approaching night subdued the effervescent spirits of +the lad, and he began to walk softly, as do nuns in the aisles of dim +cathedrals or deer in the pathways of the moonlit forest. These few +moments between twilight and dark are pregnant with a mysterious +holiness and it is doubtful if the worst of men could find the courage +to commit a crime while they endure. + +Unutterable and incomprehensible emotions were awakened in the soul of +the boy by the stillness and beauty of the evening world. His senses +were not yet dulled nor his feelings jaded. Through every avenue of his +intelligence the mystery of the universe stole into his sensitive +spirit. If a breeze blew across the meadow he turned his cheek to its +kiss; if the odor of spearmint from the brookside was wafted around him +he breathed it into his nostrils with delight. He saw the shadow of a +crow flying across the field and stopped to look up and listen for the +swish of her wings and her loud, hoarse caw as she made her way to the +nesting grounds; then he gazed beyond her, into the fathomless depths of +the blue sky, and his soul was stirred with an indescribable awe. +Everything filled him with surprise, with wonder and with ecstasy,--the +glowing sky above the western hills, the new pale crescent of the silver +moon, the heavy-laden honey bees eagerly hastening home, the long +shadows lying across his path, the trees with branches swaying in the +evening breeze, the cows with bursting udders lowing at the bars. + +But it was not so much the objects themselves as the spirit pervading +them, which stirred the depths of the child's mind. The little pantheist +saw God everywhere. We bestow the gift of language upon a child, but the +feelings which that language serves only to interpret and express exist +and glow within him even if he be dumb. And this gift of language is +often of questionable value, and had been so with him. Things he had +heard said about God often made the boy hate Him. All that he felt, +filled him with love. To him the valley was heaven, and through it +invisibly but unmistakably God walked, morning, noon and evening. + +To the child sauntering dreamily and wistfully along, the object dimly +seen from the farm-house door began gradually to dissolve itself into a +group of living beings. Two horses were attached to a plow; one standing +in the lush grass of the meadow, and the other in a deep furrow traced +across its surface. The first, an old gray mare, was breathing heavily, +her sides expanding and contracting like a bellows. Her wide nostrils +opened and closed with spasmodic motions. Her eyes were shut and she +seemed to be asleep. The other, a young and slender filly doing this +season the first real service of her life, pawed the ground restlessly, +snorted, shook her mane, rattled the harness chains and looked angrily +over her shoulder at the driver. The plowshare was buried deep in the +rich, alluvial soil, and a ribbon of earth rolled from its blade like a +petrified sea billow, crested with a cluster of daisies white as the +foam of a wave. + +Between the handles of the plow and leaning on the crossbar, his back to +the horses, stood a young Quaker. His broad-brimmed hat, set carelessly +on the back of his head, disclosed a wide, high forehead; his flannel +shirt, open at the throat, exposed a strong, columnar neck, and a deep, +broad chest; his sunburned and muscular arms were folded across his +breast; figure and posture revealed the perfect concord of body and soul +with the beauty of the world; his great blue eyes were fixed upon the +notch in the hills where the sun had just disappeared; he gazed without +seeing and felt without thinking. + +The boy approached this statuesque figure with a stealthy tread, and +plucking a long spear of grass tickled the bronzed neck. The hand of the +plowman moved automatically upward as if to brush away a fly, and at +this unconscious action the child, seized by a convulsion of laughter +and fearing lest it explode, stuffed his fists into his mouth. In the +opinion of this irreverent young skeptic his Uncle Dave was in a +"tantrum" instead of a "trance," and he thought such a disease demanded +heroic treatment. + +For several years this Quaker youth had been the subject of remarkable +emotional experiences, in explanation of which the rude wits of the +village declared that he had been moon-struck; the young girls who +adored his beauty thought he was in love, and the venerable fathers and +mothers of this religious community believed that in him the scriptural +prophecy, "Your young men shall see visions," had been literally +fulfilled. David Corson himself accepted the last explanation with +unquestioning faith. He no more doubted the existence of a spiritual +than of a material universe. He did not even conceive of their having +well-defined boundaries, but seemed to himself to pass from one to the +other as easily as across the lines of adjoining farms. In this respect +he resembled many a normal youth, except that this impression had +lingered with him a little longer than was usual; for faith is always +instinctive, while skepticism is the result of experience and +reflection. Having as yet only wandered around the edges of the sacred +groves of wisdom where these pitiless teachers break the sweet shackles +of their pupils, he still thought the thoughts of childhood and +instinctively obeyed the injunction of Emerson, to "reverence the dreams +of our youth," and the admonition of Richter, that "when we cease to do +so, then dies the man in us." Whatever might have been the real nature +of these emotional experiences, no one doubted that they possessed a +genuine reality of some kind or other, for it was a matter of history in +this little community that David Corson had often exercised prophetic, +mesmeric and therapeutic powers. + +The life of this young man had been pure and uneventful. Existence in +this frontier region, once full of the tragedy of Indian warfare, had +been gradually softened by peace and religion. The passions slowly +kindling in the struggle over slavery had not yet burst into flame, and +this particular valley was even more quiet than others because it had +been settled by a colony of Quakers. Into it the rude noises of the +great outside world floated only in softened echoes, and what knowledge +young Corson had acquired of that vague and shadowy realm had come +mainly through traveling preachers, and this, because of their +simplicity and unworldliness, was not unlike hearing the crash of arms +through silken portieres or seeing the flash of lightning through the +stained-glass windows of a cathedral. In such a sequestered region books +and papers were scarce, and he had access only to a few volumes written +by quietists and mystics, and to that great mine of sacred literature, +the Holy Bible. The seeds of knowledge sown by these books in the rich +soil of this young heart were fertilized by the society of noble men, +virtuous women, and natural surroundings of exquisite beauty. + +But however limited his knowledge of men and affairs, the young mystic +had acquired an extraordinary familiarity with the operations of the +divine life which animates the universe. He seemed to have found the +pass-key to nature's mysteries, and to have acquired a language by which +he could communicate with all her creatures. He knew where the rabbits +burrowed, where the partridges nested, and where the wild bees stored +their honey. He could foretell storms by a thousand signs, possessed the +homing instinct of the pigeons, knew where the first violets were to be +found, and where the last golden-rod would bloom. The squirrels crept +down the trunks of trees to nibble the crumbs which he scattered for +them. He could fold up his hands like a cup and at his whistle birds +would drop into them as into a nest. His was a beautiful soul, and what +Novalis said of Spinoza might have been said of him, "he was a +God-intoxicated man." He was in that blissful period of existence when +the interpretations of life imparted to him by his elders solved the few +simple problems of thought and action pressed upon him by his +environment. He had never seriously questioned any of the ideas received +from his instructors. He was often conscious of the infinite mystery +lying beyond his ken, but never of those frightful inconsistencies and +contradictions in nature and life by which the soul is sooner or later +paralyzed or at least bewildered. + +And so his outlook upon the universe was serene and untroubled. As he +stood there in the deepening twilight he differed from the child who had +approached him in this, that while the boy reveled in the beauty around +him because he did not try to comprehend it, the youth was intoxicated +by the belief that he possessed the clue to all these mysteries, and had +a working theory of all the phenomena in the natural and spiritual world +in which he moved. To such mystical natures this confidence is +unavoidable anywhere through the period of the pride of adolescence; but +it was heightened in this case by the simplicity of life's problems in +this narrow valley, and in the provincial little village which was the +metropolis of this sparsely settled region. To him "the cackle of that +bourg was the murmur of the world," and his theories of a life lacking +the complexities of larger aggregations of men seemed adequate, because +he had never seen them thoroughly tested, to meet every emergency +arising for reflection or endeavor. In this mental attitude of serene +and undisturbed confidence that he knew the real meaning of existence, +and was in constant contact with the divine mind through knowledge or +through vision, every avenue of his spirit was open to the influences of +nature. Through all that gorgeous day of May he had been drawing these +influences into his being as the vegetation drew in light and moisture, +until his soul was drenched through and through, and at that perfect +hour of dusk, when the flowers and grasses exhaled the gifts they had +received from heaven and earth in a richer, finer perfume like an +evening oblation, the young dreamer was also rendering back those gifts +bestowed by heaven in an incense of purest thought and aspiration. It +was one of those hours that come occasionally in that sublime period of +unshattered ideals and unsullied faith, for which Pharaoh and Caesar +would have exchanged their thrones, Croesus and Lucullus bartered their +wealth, Solomon and Aristotle forgotten their learning. + +Every imaginative youth who has been reared in pure surroundings +experiences over again in these rare and radiant hours all the bliss +that Adam knew in Eden. To his joyous, eager spirit, the world appears a +new creation fresh from the hand of God. He hears its author walking in +the garden at eventide, and murmuring: "Behold it is very good." A +single element of disquietude, a solitary, vague unrest disturbs him. He +awaits his Eve with longing, but has no dread of the serpent. + +At sight of this young man the most superficial observer would have +paused to take a second look; an artist would have instinctively seized +his pencil or his brush; a scientist would have paused to inquire what +mysterious influences could have produced so finely proportioned a +nature; a philosopher to wonder what would become of him in some sudden +and powerful temptation. + +None of these reflections disturbed the mind of the barefooted boy. +Having suppressed his laughter, he tickled the sunburnt neck again. Once +more the hand rose automatically, and once more the boy was almost +strangled with delight. The dreamer was hard to awaken, but his +tormentor had not yet exhausted his resources. No genuine boy is ever +without that fundamental necessity of childhood, a pin, and finding one +somewhere about his clothing, he thrust it into the leg of the plowman. +The sudden sting brought the soaring saint from heaven to earth. In an +instant the mystic was a man, and a strong one, too. He seized the +unsanctified young reprobate with one hand and hoisted him at arm's +length above his head. + +"Oh, Uncle Dave, I'll never do it again! Never! Never! Let me down." + +Still holding him aloft as a hunter would hold a falcon, the +reincarnated "spirit" laughed long, loud and merrily, the echoes of his +laughter ringing up the valley like a peal from a chime of bells. The +child's fear was needless, for the heart and hands that dealt with him +were as gentle as a woman's. The youth, resembling some old Norse god as +he stood there in the gathering gloom, lowered the child slowly, and +printing a kiss on his cheek, said: + +"Thee little pest, thee has no reverence! Thee should never disturb a +child at his play, a bird on his nest nor a man at his prayers." + +"But thee was not praying, Uncle Dave," the boy replied. "Thee was only +in another of thy tantrums. The supper has grown cold, the horses are +tired and Shep and I have walked a mile to call thee. Grandmother said +thee had a trance. Tell me what thee has seen in thy visions, Uncle +Dave?" + +"God and His angels," said the young mystic softly, falling again into +the mood from which he had been so rudely awakened. + +"Angels!" scoffed the young materialist. "If thee was thinking of any +angel at all, I will bet thee it was Dorothy Fraser." + +"Tush, child, do not be silly," replied the convicted culprit. For it +was easier than he would care to admit to mingle visions of beauty with +those of holiness. + +"I am not silly. Thee would not dare say thee was not thinking of her. +She thinks of thee." + +"How does thee know?" + +"Because she gives me bread and jam if I so much as mention thy name." + +This did not offend the young plowman, to judge by the expression of his +face; but he said nothing, and, stooping down, loosened the chains of +the whiffletree and turned the faces of the tired horses homeward. The +cavalcade moved on in silence for a few moments, but nothing can repress +the chatter of a boy, and presently he began again. + +"Uncle Dave, was it really up this very valley that Mad Anthony Wayne +marched with his brave soldiers?" + +"This very valley." + +"I wish I could have been with him." + +"It is an evil wish. Thee is a child of peace. Thy father and thy +father's fathers have denied the right of men to war. Thee ought to be +like them, and love the things that make for peace." + +"Well, if I can not wish for war, I will wish that a runaway slave would +dash up this valley with a pack of bloodhounds at his heels. Oh, Uncle +Dave, tell me that story about thy hiding a negro in the haystack, and +choking the bloodhounds with thine own hands." + +"I have told thee a hundred times." + +"But I want to hear it again." + +"Use thy memory and thy imagination." + +"Oh, no, please tell me. I like to hear some one tell something." + +"Thee does? Then listen to the whip-poor-will, the cricket or the +brook." + +"I hear them, but I do not know what they say. Tell me." + +"Tell thee! No one can tell thee, child, if thee can not understand for +thyself. The message differs for the hearers, and the difference is in +the ear and not the sound." + +They both paused for a moment, and listened to those soothing lullabies +with which nature sings the world to sleep. So powerful was the tide +that floated the mystic out on the ocean of dreams, he would have +drifted away again if the child had not suddenly recalled him. + +"I can not make out what they say," he cried, "and anyhow there is no +time to try. Come, let us go. Everybody is waiting for us." + +"Thee is right," answered his uncle. "Go and let down the bars and we +will hurry home." + +The child, bounding forward, did as he was told, and the tired +procession entered the barnyard. The plowman fed his horses, and stopped +to listen for a moment to their deep-drawn sighs of contentment, and to +the musical grinding of the oats in their teeth. His imaginative mind +read his own thoughts into everything, and he believed that he could +distinguish in these inarticulate sounds the words, "Good-night. +Good-night." + +"Good-night," he said, and stroking their great flanks with his kind +hand, left them to their well-earned repose. On his way to the house he +stopped to bathe his face in the waters of a spring brook that ran +across the yard, and then entered the kitchen where supper was spread. + +"Thee is late," said the woman who had watched and waited, her fine face +radiant with a smile of love and welcome. + +"Forgive me, mother," he replied. "I have had another vision." + +"I thought as much. Thee must remember what thee has seen, my son," she +said, "for all that thee beholds with the outer eye shall pass away, +while what thee sees with the inner eye abides forever. And had thee a +message, too?" + +"It was delivered to me that on the holy Sabbath day I should go to the +camp in Baxter's clearing and preach to the lumbermen." + +"Then thee must go, my son." + +"I will," he answered, taking her hand affectionately, but with Quaker +restraint, and leading her to the table. + +The family, consisting of the mother, an adopted daughter Dorothea, the +daughter's husband Jacob and son Stephen, sat down to a simple but +bountiful supper, during which and late into the evening the young +mystic pondered the vision which he believed himself to have seen, and +the message which he believed himself to have heard. In his musings +there was not a tremor or a doubt; he would have as soon questioned the +reality of the old farm-house and the faces of the family gathered about +the table. Of the susceptibility of the nerves to morbid activity, or +the powers of the overdriven brain to objectify its concepts, he had +never even dreamed. He was a credulous and unsophisticated youth, +dwelling in a realm of imagination rather than in a world of reality and +law. He had much to learn. His education was about to begin, and to +begin as does all true and effective education, in a spiritual +temptation. The Ghebers say that when their great prophet Ahriman was +thrown into the fire by the order of Nimrod, the flames into which he +fell turned into a bed of roses, upon which he peacefully reclined. This +innocent Quaker youth had been reclining upon a bed of roses which now +began to turn into a couch of flames. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +AND SATAN CAME ALSO + + "It is the little rift within the lute + That by and by will make the music mute, + And ever widening slowly silence all." + + --Tennyson. + + +At the moment when Stephen was sounding the horn to summon the young +mystic to his supper, a promiscuous crowd of loafers with chairs tilted +against the wall of the village tavern received a shock. + +They heard the tinkle of bells in the distance, and looking in the +direction of this unusual sound, saw a team of splendid coal-black +horses dash round a corner and whirl a strange vehicle to the door of +the inn. + +There were two extraordinary figures on the front seat of the wagon. The +driver was a sturdy, thick-set man whose remarkable personal appearance +was fixed instantly and ineradicably in the mind of the beholder by an +enormous moustache whose shape, size and color suggested a crow with +outstretched wings. As if to emphasize the ferocious aspect lent him by +this hairy canopy which completely concealed his mouth, Nature had +duplicated it in miniature by brows meeting above his nose and spreading +themselves, plume-like, over a pair of eyes which gleamed so brightly +that they could be felt, altho' they were so deep-set that they could +scarcely be seen. + +This fierce and buccaneerish person summoned the dozing hostler in a +coarse, imperative voice, flung him the reins, sprang from his seat, and +assisted his companion to alight. She gave him her hand with an air of +utter indifference, bestowed upon him neither smile nor thanks, and +dropped to the ground with a light flutter like a bird. Turning +instantly toward the tavern, she ascended the steps of the porch under a +fusillade of glances of astonishment and admiration. Young and +beautiful, dressed in a picturesque and brilliant Spanish costume, she +carried herself with the ease and dignity of a princess, and looked +straight past, or rather through the staring crowd, fastened like +inverted brackets to the tavern wall. Her great, dreamy eyes did not +seem to note them. + +When she and her companion had entered the hall and closed the door +behind them, every tilted chair came down to the floor with a bang, and +many voices exclaimed in concert, "Who the devil is she?" Curiosity was +satisfied at eight o'clock in the evening, for at that hour Doctor +Paracelsus Aesculapius, as he fantastically called himself, opened the +doors of his traveling apothecary shop and exposed his "universal +panacea" for sale, while at the same time, "Pepeeta, the Queen of +Fortune Tellers," entered her booth and spread out upon a table the +paraphernalia by which she undertook to discover the secrets of the +future. + +When the evening's work was ended, Pepeeta at once retired; but the +doctor entered the bar-room, followed by a curious and admiring crowd. +He was in a happy and expansive frame of mind, for he had done a "land +office" business in this frontier village which he was now for the first +time visiting. + +"Have a drink, b-b-boys?" he asked, looking over the crowd with an air +of superiority and waving his hand with an inclusive gesture. The motley +throng of loafers sidled up to the bar with a deprecatory and automatic +movement. They took their glasses, clinked them, nodded to their +entertainer, muttered incoherent toasts and drank his health. The +delighted landlord, feeling it incumbent upon him to break the silence, +offered the friendly observation: "S-s-see you s-s-stutter. S-s-stutter +a little m-m-my own self." + +"Shake!" responded the doctor, who was in too complacent a mood to take +offence, and the worthies grasped hands. + +"Don't know any w-w-way to s-s-stop it, do you?" asked the landlord. + +"No, I d-d-don't; t-t-tried everything. Even my 'universal p-p-panacea' +won't do it, and what that can't do can't be d-d-done. Incurable +d-d-disease. Get along all right when I go slow like this; but when I +open the throttle, get all b-b-balled up. Bad thing for my business. +Give any man a thousand d-d-dollars that'll cure me," the quack replied, +slapping his trousers pocket as if there were millions in it. + +"Co-co-couldn't go q-q-quite as high as that; but wouldn't mind a +hu-hu-hundred," responded the landlord cordially. + +"Ever hear the story about the landlord's troubles in the Mexican war?" +asked one of the by-standers turning to the quack. + +"Tell it," he responded laconically. + +Several members of the group looked at each other and exchanged +significant winks as the narrator began his tale. + +"They made him sergeant of a company, but had to reduce him to the +ranks, because when he was drilling the boys one day they all marched +into the river and got drowned before he could say h-h-halt." + +The doctor laughed and the others joined him out of courtesy, for the +story was worn threadbare in the bar-room. + +"Tell about his going on picket duty," suggested some one. + +"Captain ordered him out on the line," said the first speaker, "and he +refused. 'T-t-tain't no use,' says he. + +"'Why not?' says the captain. + +"'C-c-cause,' says he, 'if some d-d-dirty Mexican g-g-greaser should +c-c-come along, he'd run me through the g-g-gizzard before I could ask +him for the c-c-countersign.'" + +More tipsy laughter followed. + +"Tell you what it is, b-b-boys," said the quack, growing communicative +under the influence of the liquor and the fellowship, "if it wasn't for +this b-b-blankety-blanketed impediment in my s-s-speech, I wouldn't +need to work more'n about another y-y-year!" + +"How's that?" asked someone in the crowd. + +"C-c-cause if I could talk as well as I c-c-can think, I could make a +fortune 'side of which old John Jacob Astor's would look like a +p-p-penny savings b-b-bank!" + +"You could?" + +"You bet your sweet life I c-c-could. And I'm just keeping my eyes open +for some young f-f-fellow to help me. For 'f I can find a man that can +do the t-talking (I mean real talk, you know; talk a crowd blind as +b-b-bats), I've got something better'n a California g-g-gold mine." + +"Better get Dave Corson," said the village wag from the rear of the +crowd, and up went a wild shout of laughter. + +"Who's D-D-Dave Corson?" asked the doctor. + +"Quaker preacher. Young feller 'bout twenty years old." + +"Can he t-t-talk?" + +"Talk! He kin talk a mule into a trottin' hoss in less'n three minutes." + +"He's my man!" exclaimed the doctor, at which the crowd laughed again. + +"What the d-d-deuce are you laughing at?" he asked, turning upon them +savagely, his loud voice and threatening manner frightening those who +stood nearest, so that they instinctively stepped back a pace or two. + +"No offence, Doc," said one of them; "but you couldn't get him." + +"Couldn't get him! Why couldn't I g-g-get him?" + +"He's pious." + +"Pious! What do _I_ care?" + +"Well, these here pious Quakers are stiff in their notions. But you kin +jedge fer yourself 'bout his talkin', fer there's goin' ter be an +appinted Quaker meetin' to-morrow night, and he'll speak. You kin go an' +listen, if you want to." + +"I'll be there, boys, and d-d-don't you forget it. I'll hook him! Never +saw anything I couldn't buy if I had a little of the p-p-proper stuff +about me. Drink to my l-l-luck, boys, and watch me!" + +The landlord filled their glasses once more, and low gurglings, +smothered swallows, and loud smacking of lips filled the interim of +interrupted conversation. + +"I say, Doc, that daughter of yours knows her biz when it comes to +telling fortunes," ventured a young dandy, whose head had been turned by +Pepeeta's beauty. + +"D-d-daughter!" snapped the quack, turning sharply upon him; "she's not +my daughter, she's my wife!" + +"Wife! Gosh! You don't say?" exclaimed the crestfallen dandy. + +"Yes, wife! And I'll j-j-just warn any of you young f-f-fellers that if +I catch you trying to p-p-plow with my heifer, you'll be food for +buzzards before sun-up!" + +He swept his eyes savagely round the circle as he spoke, and the subject +dropped. + +The conversation turned into other channels, and flowed in a maudlin, +sluggish manner far into the night. Every member of the bibulous party +was as happy as he knew how to be. The landlord's till was full of +money, the loafers were full of liquor, and the doctor's heart was full +of vanity and trust in himself. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE EGYPTIANS + + "Steal! to be sure they may; and egad, serve your best thoughts as + gypsies do stolen children,--disfigure them to make them pass for + their own." + + --Sheridan. + + +In order to comprehend the relationship of this strangely mated pair, we +must go back five or six years to a certain day when this same Doctor +Aesculapius rode slowly down the main street of a small city in Western +Pennsylvania, and then out along a rugged country highway. A couple of +miles brought him to the camp of a band of gypsies. + +A thin column of smoke ascending from a fire which seemed almost too +lazy to burn, curled slowly into the air. + +Around this campfire was a picturesque group of persons, all of whom, +with a single exception, vanished like a covey of quail at the approach +of the stranger. The man who stood his ground was a truly sinister +being. He was tall, thin and angular; his clothing was scant and ragged, +his face bronzed with exposure to the sun. A thin moustache of +straggling hairs served rather to exaggerate than to conceal the vicious +expression of a hare-lipped mouth. He stood with his elbow in the palm +of one hand and his chin in the other, while around his legs a pack of +wolf-like dogs crawled and growled as the traveler drew near. Throwing +himself lightly to the ground the intruder kicked the curs who sprang +at him, and as the terrified pack went howling into the door of the +tent, said cheerily. + +"Good-morning, Baltasar." + +The gypsy acknowledged his salutation with a frown. + +"I wish to sell this horse," the traveler added, without appearing to +notice his cold reception. + +The gypsy swept his eye over the animal and shook his head. + +"If you will not buy, perhaps you will trade," the traveler said. + +"Come," was the laconic response, and so saying, the gypsy turned +towards the forest which lay just beyond the camp. The "doctor" obeyed, +and the dogs sneaked after him, still growling, but keeping a respectful +distance. A moment later he found himself in a sequestered spot where +there was an improvised stable; and a dozen or more horses glancing up +from their feed whinnied a welcome. + +"Look zem over," said the gypsy, again putting his elbow in his left +hand and his chin in his right--a posture into which he always fell when +in repose. + +The quack, moving among the animals with an easy, familiarity, glanced +them over quickly but carefully, and shook his head. + +"What!" exclaimed the gypsy with well feigned surprise; "ze senor doez +not zee ze horse he wanz?" + +"Horses!" exclaimed the quack; "these are not horses. These are +boneyards. Every one of them is as much worse than mine as mine is than +the black stallion you stole in Pittsburg on the twenty-first day of +last October." + +"Worze zan yourz! It eez impozzeeble!" answered the gypsy, as if he had +not heard the accusation. "Ziz horze ov yourz eez what you call a +crow-zcare! Zhe eez two hunner year ol'. Her teeth are fell oud. Zhe haz +ze zpavins. Zhe haz ze ringa bonze. But, senor," growing suddenly +respectful, and spreading out his hands in open and persuasive gestures, +"ere eez a horze zat eez a horze. Ee knowz more zan a man! Ee gan work +een ze arnez, ee gan work een ze zaddle; ee gan drot; ee can gallop; ee +gan bead ze winz!" + +The gypsy had played his part well and concealed with consummate art +whatever surprise he might have felt at the charge of theft. His +attitude was free, his look was bold and his manner full of confidence. + +The demeanor of the quack suddenly altered. From that of an easy +nonchalance, it turned to savage determination. + +"Baltasar," he said, his face white and hard; "let us stop our acting. +Where is that stallion?" + +"Whad ztallion?" asked the imperturbable gypsy, with an expression of +child-like innocence. + +"I will not even take time to tell you, but if you do not take me to him +this instant there will be a dead gypsy in these woods," said the quack +fiercely. + +"Ze zdranger jesz!" the gypsy answered blandly, showing his teeth and +spreading out the palms of his hands. + +The quack reached into his bosom, drew forth a pistol, pointed it at the +right eye of the gypsy, and said: "Look into the mouth of that and tell +me whether you see a bullet lying in its throat!" + +"I zink zat ze senor an' heez piztol are boz lying in zeir zroats," he +answered with easy irony. + +"Good! But I am not here to match wits with you. I want that horse, and +lie or no lie, I will have it. Take me to it, or I swear I will blow out +your brains as sure as they are made of bacon and baby flesh!" + +The gypsy vouchsafed no reply, but turned on his heel and led the way +into the forest. + +After a walk of a hundred yards or more they came to a booth of boughs, +through the loose sides of which could be seen a black stallion. + +"Lead him out," said the doctor imperatively; and the gypsy obeyed. + +The magnificent animal came forth snorting, pawing the ground and +tossing his head in the air. + +The eye of the quack kindled, and after regarding the noble creature for +a moment in silent admiration he turned to the gypsy and said, +"Baltasar, do not misunderstand me, I am neither an officer of the law +nor in any other way a minister of justice. I have as few scruples as +you as to how I get a horse; but we differ from each other in this, that +if you were in my place you would take the horse without giving an +equivalent. Now I am a man of mercy, and if you will ask a fair price +you shall have it. But mark me! Do not overreach yourself and kill the +goose that is about to lay the golden egg." + +"Wat muz be, muz be," the gypsy answered, shrugging his shoulders as if +in the presence of an inexorable fate, and added: "Ze brice iz zwo +hunner and viftee dollars, wiz ze mare drown een." + +Putting his pistol back into his pocket with an air of triumph, the +doctor said: "There seems to be persuasive power in cold lead. Stretch +forth your palm and I will cross it for you." + +The gypsy did so, and into that tiger-like paw he counted the golden +coin; at the musical clink of each piece the eye of the gypsy +brightened, and when he closed his hand upon them and thrust them into +his pocket his hair-lip curled with a cynical smile. + +The stranger took the bridle and saddle from his mare, placed them on +the stallion and mounted. + +As they moved forward through the silent forest the gypsy sang softly to +himself: + + "The Romany chal to his horse did cry + As he placed the bit in his jaw, + Kosko gry, Romany gry, + Muk, man, kuster, tute knaw." + +He was still humming this weird tune when they emerged into the open +fields, and there the traveler experienced a surprise. + +A little rivulet lay across their path, and up from the margin of it +where she had been gathering water cresses there sprang a young girl, +who cast a startled glance at him, then bounded swiftly toward the tent +and vanished through the opening. + +Now it happened that this keen admirer of horses was equally susceptible +to the charms of female beauty, and the loveliness of this young girl +made his blood tingle. In her hand she carried a bunch of cresses still +dripping with the water of the brook. A black bodice was drawn close to +a figure which was just unfolding into womanhood. The color of this +garment formed a striking contrast to a scarlet skirt which fell only a +little below her knees. On her feet were low-cut shoes, fastened with +rude silver buckles. A red kerchief had become untied and let loose a +wave of black hair, which fell over her half bare shoulders. Her face +was oval, her complexion olive, her eyes large, eager and lustrous. + +All this the man who admired women even more than he admired horses, saw +in the single instant before the girl dashed toward the tent and +disappeared. So swift an apparition would have bewildered rather than +illumined the mind of an ordinary man. But the quack was not an ordinary +man. He was endowed with a certain rude power of divination which +enabled him to see in a single instant, by swift intuition, more than +the average man discovers by an hour of reasoning. By this natural +clairvoyance he saw at a glance that this face of exquisite delicacy +could no more have been coined in a gypsy camp than a fine cameo could +be cut in an Indian wigwam. He knew that all gypsies were thieves, and +that these were Spanish gypsies. What was more natural than that he +should conclude with inevitable logic that this child had been stolen +from people of good if not of noble blood! + +He who had coveted the horse with desire, hungered for the maiden with +passion; and with him, to feel an appetite, was to rush toward its +gratification, as fire rushes upon tow. + +"Baltasar!" he said. + +The gypsy turned. + +"You are a girl-thief as well as a horse-thief." + +If the gypsy had felt astonished before, he was now terrified in the +presence of a man who seemed to read his inmost thoughts; and for the +first time in his life acknowledged to himself that he had met his +master in cunning. + +Bewildered as he was by this new charge, he still remembered that if +speech was silver, silence was golden, and answered not a word. + +"Baltasar," continued the strange man on horseback, rightly judging from +the gypsy's confusion that he had hit the mark and determining to take +another chance shot; "you stole this girl from the family of a Spanish +nobleman. I am the representative of this family and have followed your +trail for years. You thought I had come to get the horse. You were +mistaken; it was the girl!" + +"Perdita!" exclaimed the gypsy, taken completely off his guard. + +"Lost indeed," responded the quack, scarcely able to conceal his pride +in his own astuteness. And then he added slowly: "She must be a burden +to you, Baltasar. You evidently never have been able or never have dared +to take her back and claim the ransom which you expected. I will pay you +for her and take her from your hands. It is the child I want and not +vengeance." + +"Ze Caballero muz be a Duquende (spirit)," gasped the gypsy. + +"At any rate I want the child. You were reasonable about the horse. Be +reasonable about her, and all will be well." + +"Ze Caballero muz be made of gol'." + +The horseman drew a silver coin from his pocket and flipped it into the +waters of the brook. + +The gypsy's face gleamed with avarice and springing into the water he +began to scrape among the stones where it had fallen. + +The stranger watched him for awhile with an expression of mingled +amusement and contempt, and finally said: "Baltasar, I am in haste. You +can search for that trifle after I am gone. Let us finish our business. +What will you take for the girl?" + +Still standing in the water, which he seemed reluctant to leave, he +shrugged his shoulders and replied: "We muz azk Chicarona. Zhe eez my +vife." + +"And master?" asked the quack, smiling sardonically. + +The gypsy did not answer, but, stepping from the brook and looking +backward, reluctantly led the way to the tent. + +"Chicarona! Chicarona!" he cried as they approached it. + +The flap of the tent was thrown suddenly backward, and three figures +emerged--a tall and stately woman, a little elfish child; and an old +hag, wrinkled, toothless and bent with the weight of unrecorded years. +The woman was the mother of the little child and the daughter of the old +hag. + +"Chicarona," said the gypsy, "ze Gacho az byed ze ztallion for zwo +hunner an' viftee dollars, an' now he wanz to buy Pepeeta." + +"Wad vor?" she asked. + +"Berhabs he zinkz zhe eez a prinzez, I dunno," he answered, digging the +toe of his bare foot nervously into the sand. + +"Zen dell 'im zat he zhold not look vor ztrawberries in ze zea, nor red +herring in ze wood," she said with a look of scorn. + +The eyes of the stranger and the gypsy met. They confronted each other +like two savage beasts who have met on a narrow path and are about to +fight for its possession. It was not an unequal match. The man's eyes +regarded the woman with a proud and masterful determination. The woman's +seemed to burn their way into the inmost secrets of the man's soul. + +Chicarona was a remarkable character. In her majestic personality, the +virtues and the vices of the Spanish Gypsy fortune-teller were +incarnate. The vices were legion; the virtues were two--the love of +kindred, and physical chastity--the chastity of the soul itself being +unknown. + +"We are wasting time gazing at each other like two sheep in a pasture. +Will you sell the girl?" the horseman asked, impatiently. + +"I will nod!" she answered, with proud defiance. + +"Then I will take her by force!" + +"Ah! What could nod ze monkey do, if he were alzo ze lion!" + +"I am the lion, and therefore I must have this lamb!" + +"Muz? Say muz to ze clouds; to ze winz; to ze lightningz; but not to +Chicarona!" + +"If you do not agree to accept a fair offer for this girl, you will be +in jail for kidnapping her in less than one hour!" + +At this threat, the brilliant black eyes emitted a shower of angry +sparks, and she exclaimed in derision, "Ze Buzno will dake us do brizon, +ha! ha! ha!" + +"Ze Buzno will dake us do brizon, hee! hee! hee!" giggled the little +impish child who tugged at her skirts. + +The old woman pressed forward and mumbled, "'Ol' oud your 'an', my +pretty fellow. Crozz ze ol' gypsy's palm, and zhe will dell your +fortune." + +With every new refusal, the resolute stranger became still more +determined. "Pearls are not to be had without a plunge," he murmured to +himself, and dismounted. + +Throwing the bridle of his horse over the limb of a tree, he approached +the woman with a threatening gesture. + +As he did so, the three female figures began to revolve around him in a +circle, pointing their fingers at him and hissing like vipers. As the +old woman passed before his face she threw a handful of snuff in his +eyes--an act which has been, from time immemorial, the female gypsy's +last resort. + +Had he been less agile than he was, it would have proved a finishing +stroke, but there are some animals that can never be caught asleep, or +even napping, and he was one. He winked and dodged, and, quicker than a +flash, brought the old crone a sharp cut across her knuckles with his +riding whip. + +As he did so, Baltasar sprang at his throat, but he once more drew his +pistol and leveled it at the gypsy's head. His patience had been +exhausted. + +"Fool!" he cried, "Bring this woman to reason. This is a wild country, +and a family of gypsies would be missed as little as a litter of blind +puppies! Bring her to reason, I say, or I will murder every one of you!" + +Once more shrugging those expressive shoulders which seemed to have a +language of their own, the gypsy said "Chicarona, you do not luf ze +leedle pindarri. Zell 'er to ze Buzno. Ee eez made of gol'." + +As Baltasar uttered these words, he approached his wife and whispered +something in her ear at which she started. Turning with a sudden motion +to the stranger, she fixed her piercing eyes upon him and exclaimed, +"You zay you know ze parenz of zis chil'?" + +"I do." + +"You lie!" + +"How, then, did I know that you had stolen her?" + +"You guezz zat! Any vool gan guezz zat! I zdole 'er, but who I zdole 'er +vrom, you do not know any more zan you know why ze frogs zdop zinging +when ze light zhines." + +"Ah! You did steal her, did you? Why do gypsies steal children when they +have so many of their own, and it is so easy to raise more, Chicarona?" + +"Azk ze tiger why it zpringz, or ze lightning why it zdrikes! I will +alzo azk ze Caballero a queztion. What doez he wan' wiz zis leedle +gurrl?" + +"To be a father to her!" he answered, with a sly wink at Baltasar. + +"Alzo' I am dressed in wool, I am no sheep! Tell me," she cried, +stamping her foot. + +"Why should I tell secrets to one who can read the future?" he asked +banteringly. + +Chicarona's mood was changing. It was evident from her looks, either +that she was defeated in the contest by this wily and resistless +combatant or that she had succumbed to the temptation of his money. + +"How much will you gif vor zis chil'?" she asked. + +"One hundred dollars," he replied. + +"One hunner dollars! You paid more zan twize as much vor ze horze! Eez +nod a woman worth more zan a horze?" + +"She will be, when she is a woman. She is a child now." + +"Let me zee ze color of your money!" + +He drew a leather wallet from his pocket and held it tantalizingly +before her eyes. + +Its influence was decisive upon her avaricious soul, and she clutched at +it wildly. + +"Put it into my han'!" she cried. + +"Put Pepeeta into mine," he said. + +"Pepeeta! Pepeeta!" she called. + +"Pepeeta! Pepeeta!" shrilled the old crone. + +Out of the door of the tent she came, her eyes fixed upon the ground, +and her fingers picking nervously at the tinsel strings which fastened +her bodice. + +"Gif me ze money and take her," said Chicarona. + +He counted out the gold, and then approached the child. For the first +time in his life he experienced an emotion of reverence. There was +something about her beauty, her helplessness and his responsibility that +made a new appeal to his heart. + +Yielding to the gentle pressure of his hand, she permitted herself to be +led away. Not a goodbye was said. Chicarona's feeling toward her had +been fast developing from jealousy into hatred as the child's beauty +began to increase and attract attention. The others loved her, but dared +not show it. Not a sign of regret was exhibited, except by the old +crone, who approached her, gave her a stealthy caress, and secretly +placed a crumpled parchment in her hand. + +The Doctor lifted the child upon the horse's back and climbed into the +saddle. As they turned into the highway, he heard Chicarona say, "Bring +me my pajunda, Baltasar, and I will sing a grachalpa." + +The beautiful child trembled, for the words were those of hatred and +triumph. She trembled, but she also wept. She was parting from those +whose lives were base and cruel; but they were the only human beings +that she knew. She was leaving a wagon and a tent, but it was the only +home that she could remember. In a vague and childish way, she felt +herself to be the sport of mysterious powers, a little shuttlecock +between the battledores of Fortune. Whatever her destiny was to be, +there was no use in struggling, and so she sobbed softly and yielded to +the inevitable. Her little hands were folded across her heart in an +instinctive attitude of submission. Folded hands are not always resigned +hands; but Pepeeta's were. She submitted thus quietly not because she +was weak, but because she was strong, not because she was contemptible, +but because she was noble. In proportion to the majesty of things, is +the completeness of their obedience to the powers that are above them. +Gravitation is obeyed less quietly by a grain of dust than by the rivers +and planets. Those half-suppressed sobs and hardly restrained sighs +would have softened a harder heart than that of this young man of thirty +years. He was rude and unscrupulous, but he was not unkind. His breast +was the abiding place of all other passions and it was not strange that +the gentlest of all should reside within it, nor that it should have +been so quickly aroused at the sight of such loveliness and such +helplessness. + +To have a fellow-being completely in our power makes us either utterly +cruel or utterly kind, and all that was gentle in that great rough +nature went out in a rush of tenderness toward the little creature who +thus suddenly became absolutely dependent upon his compassion. After +they had ridden a little way, he began in his rough fashion to try to +comfort her. + +"Don't cry, Pepeeta! You ought to be thankful that you have got out of +the clutches of those villains. You could not have been worse off, and +you may be a great deal better! They were not always kind to you, were +they? I shouldn't wonder if they beat you sometimes! But you will never +be beaten any more. You shall have a nice little pony, and a cart, and +flowers, and pretty clothes, and everything that little girls like. I +don't know what they are, but whatever they are you shall have them. So +don't cry any more! What a pretty name Pepeeta is! It sounds like music +when I say it. I have got the toughest name in the world myself. It's a +regular jaw-breaker--Doctor Paracelsus Aesculapius! What do you think of +that, Pepeeta! But then you need not call me by the whole of it! You can +just call me Doctor, for short. Now, look at me just once, and give me a +pretty smile. Let me see those big black eyes! No? You don't want to? +Well, that's all right. I won't bother you. But I want you to know that +I love you, and that you are never going to have any more trouble as +long as you live." + +These were the kindest words the child had ever had spoken to her, or at +least the kindest she could remember. They fell on her ears like music +and awakened gratitude and love in her heart. She ceased to sigh, and +before the ride to town was ended had begun to feel a vague sense of +happiness. + + * * * * * + +The next few years were full of strange adventures for these singular +companions. The quack had discovered certain clues to the past history +of the child whom he had thus adopted, and was firmly persuaded that she +belonged to a noble family. He had made all his plans to take her to +Spain and establish her identity in the hope of securing a great reward. +But just as he was about to execute this scheme, he was seized by a +disease which prostrated him for many months, and threw him into a +nervous condition in which he contracted the habit of stammering. On his +recovery from his long sickness he found himself stripped of everything +he had accumulated; but his shrewdness and indomitable will remained, +and he soon began to rebuild his shattered fortune. + +During all these ups and downs, Pepeeta was his inseparable and devoted +companion. The admiration which her childish beauty excited in his heart +had deepened into affection and finally into love. When she reached the +age of sixteen or seventeen years, he proposed to her the idea of +marriage. She knew nothing of her own heart, and little about life, but +had been accustomed to yield implicit obedience to his will. She +consented and the ceremony was performed by a Justice of the Peace in +the city of Cincinnati, a year or so before their appearance in the +Quaker village. An experience so abnormal would have perverted, if not +destroyed her nature, had it not contained the germs of beauty and +virtue implanted at her birth. They were still dormant, but not dead; +they only awaited the sun and rain of love to quicken them into life. + +The quack had coarsened with the passing years, but Pepeeta, withdrawing +into the sanctuary of her soul, living a life of vague dreams and +half-conscious aspirations after something, she knew not what, had grown +even more gentle and submissive. As she did not yet comprehend life, she +did not protest against its injustice or its incongruity. The vulgar +people among whom she lived, the vulgar scenes she saw, passed across +the mirror of her soul without leaving permanent impressions. She +performed the coarse duties of her life in a perfunctory manner. It was +her body and not her soul, her will and not her heart which were +concerned with them. What that soul and that heart really were, remained +to be seen. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE WOMAN + + "One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; + but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my + grace."--Much Ado About Nothing. + + +True to his determination, the doctor devoted the night following his +advent into the little frontier village to the investigation of the +Quaker preacher's fitness for his use. He took Pepeeta with him, the +older habitues of the tavern standing on the porch and smiling +ironically as they started. + +The meeting house was one of those conventional weather-boarded +buildings with which all travelers in the western states are familiar. +The rays of the tallow candles by which it was lighted were streaming +feebly out into the night. The doors were open, and through them were +passing meek-faced, soft-voiced and plain-robed worshipers. + +The silhouettes of the men's broad hats and the women's poke bonnets, +seen dimly against the pale light of the windows as they passed, plainly +revealed their sect. The similarity of their garments almost obliterated +the personal identity of the wearers. + +The two strangers, so different in manners and dress, joined the +straggling procession which crept slowly along the road and chatted to +each other in undertones. + +"What queer people," said Pepeeta. + +"Beat the Dutch, and you know who the D-d-dutch beat!" + +"What sort of a building is that they are going into?" + +"That's a church." + +"What is a church for?" + +"Ask the marines! Never b-b-been in one more'n once or twice. +G-g-g-guess they use 'em to p-p-pray in. Never pray, so never go." + +"Why have you never taken me?" + +"Why should I?" + +"We go everywhere else, to theaters, to circuses, to races." + +"Some sense in going there. Have f-f-fun!" + +"Don't they have any fun in churches?" + +"Fun! They think a man who laughs will go straight to the b-b-bow-wows!" + +"What are they for, then, these churches?" + +"For religion, I tell you." + +"What is religion?" + +"Don't you know?" + +"No." + +"Your education has been n-n-neglected." + +"Tell me what it is!" + +"D-d-d-don't ask so many questions! It is something for d-d-dead folks." + +"How dark the building looks." + +"Like a b-b-barn." + +"How solemn the people seem." + +"Like h-h-hoot owls." + +"It scares me." + +"Feel a little b-b-bit shaky myself; but it's too late to b-b-back out +now. I'm going if they roast and eat me. If this f-f-feller can talk as +they say he can, I am going to get hold of him, d-d-d-dead or alive. +I'll have him if it takes a habeas c-c-corpus." + +At this point of the conversation they arrived at the meeting-house. +Keeping close together, Pepeeta light and graceful, the doctor heavy and +awkward, both of them thoroughly embarrassed, they ascended the steps as +a bear and gazelle might have walked the gang-plank into the ark. They +entered unobserved save by a few of the younger people who were staring +vacantly about the room, and took their seats on the last bench. The +Quaker maidens who caught sight of Pepeeta were visibly excited and +began to preen themselves as turtle doves might have done if a bird of +paradise had suddenly flashed among them. One of them happened to be +seated next her. She was dressed in quiet drabs and grays. Her face and +person were pervaded and adorned by simplicity, meekness, devotion; and +the contrast between the two was so striking as to render them both +self-conscious and uneasy in each other's presence. + +The visitors did not know at all what to expect in this unfamiliar +place, but could not have been astonished or awed by anything else half +so much as by the inexplicable silence which prevailed. If the whole +assemblage had been dancing or turning somersaults, they would not have +been surprised, but the few moments in which they thus sat looking +stupidly at the people and then at each other seemed to them like a +small eternity. Pepeeta's sensitive nature could ill endure such a +strain, and she became nervous. + +"Take me away," she imploringly whispered to the doctor, who sat by her +side, ignorant of the custom which separated the sexes. + +He tried to encourage her in a few half-suppressed words, took her +trembling hand in his great paw, pressed it reassuringly, winked +humorously, and then looked about him with a sardonic grin. + +To Pepeeta's relief, the silence was at last broken by an old man who +rose from his seat, reverently folded his hands, lifted his face to +heaven, closed his eyes and began to speak. She had never until this +moment listened to a prayer, and this address to an invisible Being +wrought in her already agitated mind a confused and exciting effect; but +the prayer was long, and gave her time to recover her self-control. The +silence which followed its close was less painful because less strange +than the other, and she permitted herself to glance about the room and +to wonder what would happen next. Her curiosity was soon satisfied. +David Corson, the young mystic, rose to his feet. He was dressed with +exquisite neatness in that simple garb which lends to a noble person a +peculiar and serious dignity. Standing for a moment before he began his +address, he looked over the audience with the self-possession of an +accomplished orator. The attention of every person in the room was at +once arrested. They all recalled their wandering or preoccupied +thoughts, lifted their bowed heads and fixed their eyes upon the +commanding figure before them. + +This general movement caused Pepeeta to turn, and she observed a sudden +transformation on the countenance of the dove-like Quaker maiden. A +flush mantled her pale cheek and a radiance beamed in her mild blue +eyes. It was a tell-tale look, and Pepeeta, who divined its meaning, +smiled sympathetically. + +But the first word which fell from the lips of the speaker withdrew her +attention from every other object, for his voice possessed a quality +with which she was entirely unfamiliar. It would have charmed and +fascinated the hearer, even if it had uttered incoherent words. For +Pepeeta, it had another and a more mysterious value. It was the voice of +her destiny, and rang in her soul like a bell. The speech of the young +Quaker was a simple and unadorned message of the love of God to men, and +of their power to respond to the Divine call. The thoughts to which he +gave expression were not original, but simply distillations from the +words of Madam Guyon, Fenelon, Thomas a Kempis and St. John; and yet +they were not mere repetitions, for they were permeated by the freshness +and the beauty of his own pure feelings. + +"We are all," said he, "the children of a loving Father whom the heaven +of heavens cannot contain, who yet dwells in every contrite human heart +as the light of the great sun reproduces itself in every drop of dew. +To have God dwell thus in the soul is to enjoy perfect peace. This life +is a life of bitterness to those who struggle against God, a world of +sorrow to those who doubt Him, and of darkness to those who refuse His +sweet illumination. But the sorrow and the struggle end, and the +darkness becomes the dawn to every one who loves and trusts the heavenly +Father, for He bestows upon all a Divine gift. This gift is the 'inner +light,' the light which shines within the soul itself and sheds its rays +upon the dark pathway of existence. This God of love is not far from +every one of us and we may all know Him. He is to be loved, not hated; +trusted, not feared! Why should men tremble at the consciousness of His +presence? Does the little sparrow in its nest feel any fear when it +hears the flutter of its parent's wings? Does the child shudder at its +mother's approaching footsteps?" As he uttered these words, he paused +and awaited an answer. + +Each sentence had fallen into the sensitive soul of the Fortune Teller +like a pebble into a deep well. She was gazing at him in astonishment. +Her lips were parted, her eyes were suffused and she was leaning forward +breathlessly. + +"If we would live bravely, hopefully, tranquilly," he continued, "we +must be conscious of the presence of God. If we believe with all our +hearts that He knows our inmost thoughts, we shall experience comfort +beyond words. This life of peace, of aspiration, of communion, is +possible to all. The evil in us may be overthrown. We may reproduce the +life of Christ on earth. We may become as He was--one with God. As the +little water drop poured into a large measure of wine seems to lose its +own nature entirely and take on the nature and the color of both the +water and the wine; or as air filled with sunlight is transformed into +the same brightness so that it does not appear to be illuminated by +another light so much as to be luminous of itself; so must all feeling +toward the Holy One be self-dissolved and wholly transformed into the +will of God. For how shall God be all in all, if anything of man remains +in man?" + +In words and images like these the young mystic poured forth his soul. +There were no flights of oratory, and only occasional bursts of anything +that could be called eloquence. But in an inexplicable manner it moved +the heart to tenderness and thrilled the deepest feelings of the soul. +Much of the effect on those who understood him was due to the truths he +uttered; but even those who, like the two strangers, were unfamiliar +with the ideas advanced, or indifferent to them, could not escape that +nameless influence with which all true orators are endowed, and were +thrilled by what he said. In our ignorance we have called this influence +by the name of "magnetism." Whatever it may be, this young man possessed +it in a very high degree, and when to it was added his personal beauty, +his sincerity, and his earnestness, it became almost omnipotent over +the emotions, if not over the reason. It enslaved Pepeeta completely. + +It was impossible that in so small a room a speaker should be +unconscious of the presence of strangers. David had noticed them at +once, and his glance, after roaming about the room, invariably returned +and fixed itself upon the face of the Fortune Teller. Their fascination +was mutual. They were so drawn to each other by some inscrutable power, +that it would not have been hard to believe that they had existed as +companions in some previous state of being, and had now met and vaguely +remembered each other. + +When at length David stopped speaking, it seemed to Pepeeta as if a +sudden end had come to everything; as if rivers had ceased to run and +stars to rise and set. She drew a long, deep breath, sighed and sank +back in her seat, exhausted by the nervous tension to which she had been +subjected. + +The effect upon the quack was hardly less remarkable. He, too, had +listened with breathless attention. He tried to analyze and then to +resist this mesmeric power, but gradually succumbed. He felt as if +chained to his seat, and it was only by a great effort that he pulled +himself together, took Pepeeta by the arm and drew her out into the open +air. + +For a few moments they walked in silence, and then the doctor exclaimed: +"P-p-peeta, I have found him at last!" + +"Found whom?" she asked sharply, irritated by the voice which offered +such a rasping contrast to the one still echoing in her ears. + +"Found whom? As if you didn't know! I mean the man of d-d-destiny! He is +a snake charmer, Pepeeta! He just fairly b-b-bamboozled you! I was +laughing in my sleeve and saying to myself, 'He's bamboozled Pepeeta; +but he can't b-b-bamboozle me!' When he up and did it! Tee-totally did +it! And if he can bamboozle me, he can bamboozle anybody." + +"Did you understand what he said?" Pepeeta asked. + +"Understand? Well, I should say not! The d-d-devil himself couldn't make +head nor tail out of it. But between you and me and the town p-p-pump +it's all the better, for if he can fool the people with that kind of +g-g-gibberish, he can certainly f-f-fool them with the Balm of the +B-B-Blessed Islands! First time I was ever b-b-bamboozled in my life. +Feels queer. Our fortune's made, P-p-pepeeta!" + +His triumph and excitement were so great that he did not notice the +silence and abstraction of his wife. His ardent mind invariably +excavated a channel into which it poured its thoughts, digging its bed +so deep as to flow on unconscious of everything else. Exulting in the +prospect of attaching to himself a companion so gifted, never doubting +for a moment that he could do so, reveling in the dreams of wealth to be +gathered from the increased sales of his patent medicine, he entered the +hotel and made straight for the bar-room, where he told his story with +the most unbounded delight. + +Pepeeta retired at once to her room, but her mind was too much excited +and her heart too much agitated for slumber. She moved restlessly about +for a long time and then sat down at the open window and looked into the +night. For the first time in her life, the mystery of existence really +dawned upon her. She gazed with a new awe at the starry sky. She thought +of that Being of whom David had spoken. Questions which had never before +occurred to her knocked at the door of her mind and imperatively +demanded an answer. "Who am I? Whence did I come? For what was I +created? Whither am I going?" she asked herself again and again with +profound astonishment at the newness of these questions and her +inability to answer them. + +For a long time she sat in the light of the moon, and reflected on these +mysteries with all the power of her untutored mind. But that power was +soon exhausted, and vague, chaotic, abstract conceptions gave place to a +definite image which had been eternally impressed upon her inward eyes. +It was the figure of the young Quaker, idealized by the imagination of +an ardent and emotional woman whose heart had been thrilled for the +first time. + +She began timidly to ask herself what was the meaning of those feelings +which this stranger had awakened in her bosom. She knew that they were +different from those which her husband inspired; but how different, she +did not know. They filled her with a sort of ecstasy, and she gave +herself up to them. Exhausted at last by these vivid thoughts and +emotions, she rested her head upon her arms across the window sill and +fell asleep. It must have been that the young Quaker followed her into +the land of dreams, for when her husband aroused her at midnight a faint +flush could be seen by the light of the moon on those rounded cheeks. + +There are all the elements of a tragedy in the heart of a woman who has +never felt the emotions of religion or of love until she is married! + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +THE LIGHT THAT LIES + + "Oh! why did God create at last + This novelty on earth, this fair defect + Of nature, and not till the world at once + With men as angels, without feminine?" + + --Paradise Lost. + + +On the following morning the preacher-plowman was afield at break of +day. The horses, refreshed and rested by food and sleep, dragged the +gleaming plowshare through the heavy sod as if it were light snow, and +the farmer exulted behind them. + +That universal life which coursed through all the various forms of being +around him, bounded in tides through his own veins. The fresh morning +air, the tender light of dawning day, the odors of plants and songs of +birds, filled his sensitive soul with unutterable delight. + +In the midst of all these beauties and wonders, he existed without +self-consciousness and labored without effort. His heart was pure and +his oneness with the natural world was complete. Whatever was beautiful +and gentle in the manifold operations of the Divine Spirit in the world +around him, he saw and felt. To all that was horrible and ferocious, he +was blind as a child in Paradise. He did not notice the hawk sweeping +upon the dove, the swallow darting upon the moth, nor the lizard lying +in wait for the fly; or, if he did, he saw them only as he saw the +shadows flitting across the sunny landscape. His soul was like a garden +full of light, life, perfume, color and the music of singing birds and +whispering leaves. Before his inward eye the familiar figures of his +daily life passed and repassed, but among them was also a new one. It +was the figure that had arrested his attention and inspired him the +night before. + +For hours he followed the plow without the consciousness of fatigue, but +at length he paused to rest the horses, who were beginning to pant with +their hard labor. He threw back his head, drew in deep inspirations of +pure air, glanced about and felt the full tide of the simple joy of +existence roll over him. Life had never seemed sweeter than in those few +moments in which he quaffed the brimming cup of youth and health which +nature held to his lips. Not a fear, not an apprehension of any danger +crossed his soul. His glances roved here and there, pausing a moment in +their flight like hummingbirds, to sip the sweetness from some unusually +beautiful cloud or tree or flower, when he suddenly caught sight of a +curious equipage flying swiftly down the road at the other side of the +field. The spirited horses stopped. A man rose from the seat, put his +hands to his mouth like a trumpet, uttered a loud "hallo," and beckoned. + +David tied the reins to the plow handles and strode across the fresh +furrows. Vaulting the fence and leaping the brook which formed the +boundary line of the farm, he ascended the bank and approached the +carriage. As he did so the occupants got out and came to meet him. To +his astonishment he saw the strangers whom he had noticed the night +before. The man advanced with a bold, free demeanor, the woman timidly +and with downcast eyes. + +"Good morning," said the doctor. + +David returned his greeting with the customary dignity of the Quakers. + +"My name is Dr. Aesculapius." + +"Thee is welcome." + +"I was over to the m-m-meeting house last night, and heard your +s-s-speech. Didn't understand a w-w-word, but saw that you c-c-can talk +like a United States Senator." + +David bowed and blushed. + +"I came over to make you a p-p-proposition. Want you to yoke up with me, +and help me sell the 'B-B-Balm of the Blessed Islands.' You can do the +t-t-talking and I'll run the b-b-business; see?" + +He put his thumbs in the armholes of his vest, spread his feet apart, +squared himself and smiled like a king who had offered his throne to a +beggar. + +David regarded him with a look of astonishment. + +"What do you s-s-say?" + +Gravely, placidly, the young Quaker answered: "I thank thee, friend, for +what thee evidently means as a kindness, but I must decline thy offer." + +"Decline my offer? Are you c-c-crazy? Why do you d-d-decline my offer?" + +"Because I have no wish to leave my home and work." + +Although his answer was addressed to the man, his eyes were directed to +the woman. His reply, simple and natural enough, astounded the quack. + +"What!" he exclaimed. "Do you mean that you p-p-prefer to stay in this +p-p-pigstye of a town to becoming a citizen of the g-g-great world?" + +"I do." + +"But listen; I will pay you more money in a single month than you can +earn by d-d-driving your plow through that b-b-black mud for a whole +year." + +"I have no need and no desire for more money than I can earn by daily +toil." + +"No need and no desire for money! B-b-bah! You are not talking to +sniveling old women and crack-b-b-brained old men; but to a f-f-feller +who can see through a two-inch plank, and you can't p-p-pass off any of +your religious d-d-drivel on him, either." + +This coarse insult went straight to the soul of the youth. His blood +tingled in his veins. There was a tightening around his heart of +something which was out of place in the bosom of a Quaker. A hot reply +sprang to his lips, but died away as he glanced at the woman, and saw +her face mantled with an angry flush. + +Calmed by her silent sympathy, he quietly replied: "Friend, I have no +desire to annoy thee, but I have been taught that 'the love of money is +the root of all evil,' and believing as I do I could not answer thee +otherwise than I did." + +It was evident from the look upon the countenance of the quack that he +had met with a new and incomprehensible type of manhood. He gazed at the +Quaker a moment in silence and then exclaimed, "Young man, you may mean +what you say, b-b-but you have been most infernally abused by the +p-p-people who have put such notions in your head, for there is only one +substantial and abiding g-g-good on earth, and that is money. Money is +power, money is happiness, money is God; get money! get it anywhere! get +it anyhow, but g-g-get it." + +Instead of mere resentment for a personal insult, David now felt a tide +of righteous indignation rising in his soul at this scorn and denial of +those eternal principles of truth and duty which he felt to be the very +foundations of the moral universe. + +"Sir," said he, with the voice and mien of an apostle, "I perceive that +thou art in the gall of bitterness and the bonds of iniquity. Thy money +perish with thee. The God of this world hath blinded thine eyes." + +The quack, who now began to take a humorous view of the innocence of the +youth, burst into a boisterous guffaw. + +"Well, well," he said in mingled scorn and pity, "reckon you are more to +be pitied than b-b-blamed. Fault of early education! Talk like a +p-p-parrot! What can a young fellow like you know about life, shut up +here in this seven-by-nine valley, like a man in a b-b-barrel looking +out of the b-b-bung-hole?" + +Offended and disgusted, the Quaker was about to turn upon his heel; but +he saw in the face of the man's beautiful companion a look which said +plainly as spoken words, "I, too, desire that you should go with us." + +This look changed his purpose, and he paused. + +"Listen to me now," continued the doctor, observing his irresolution. +"You think you know what life is; but you d-d-don't! Do you know what +g-g-great cities are? Do you know what it is to m-m-mix with crowds of +men, to feel and perhaps to sway their p-p-passions? Do you know what it +is to p-p-possess and to spend that money which you d-d-despise? Do you +know what it is to wear fine clothes, to d-d-drink rare wines, to see +great sights, to go where you want to and to do what you p-p-please?" + +"I do not, nor do I wish to. And thee must abandon these follies and +sins, if thee would enter the Kingdom of God," David replied, fixing his +eyes sternly upon the face of the blasphemer. + +"God! Ha, ha, ha! Who is He, anyhow? Same old story! Fools that can't +enjoy life, d-d-don't want any one else to! Ever hear 'bout the fox that +got his tail b-b-bit off? Wanted all the rest to have theirs! What the +d-d-deuce are we here in this world for? T-t-tell me that, p-p-parson!" + +"To do the will of our Father which is in heaven." + +"To do the will of our Father in heaven! I know but one will, and it is +the w-w-will of Doctor P-p-paracelsus Aesculapius. I'm my own lord and +law, I am." + +"Know thou that for all thy idle words, God will bring thee to +judgment?" David answered solemnly. + +"Rot!" muttered the doctor, disgusted beyond endurance, and concluding +the interview with the cynical farewell, + +"Good-bye, d-d-dead man! I have always hated c-c-corpses! I am going +where men have red b-b-blood in their veins." + +With these words he turned on his heel and started toward the carriage, +leaving David and Pepeeta alone. Neither of them moved. The gypsy +nervously plucked the petals from a daisy and the Quaker gazed at her +face. During these few moments nature had not been idle. In air and +earth and tree top, following blind instincts, her myriad children were +seeking their mates. And here, in the odorous sunshine of the May +morning, these two young, impressionable and ardent beings, yielding +themselves unconsciously to the same mysterious attraction which was +uniting other happy couples, were drawn together in a union which time +could not dissolve and eternity, perhaps, cannot annul. + +Having stalked indignantly onward for a few paces, the doctor discovered +that his wife had not followed him, and turning he called savagely: +"Pepeeta, come! It is folly to try and p-p-persuade him. Let us leave +the saint to his prayers! But let him remember the old p-p-proverb, +'young saint, old sinner!' Come!" + +He proceeded towards the carriage; but Pepeeta seemed rooted to the +ground, and David was equally incapable of motion. While they stood +thus, gazing into each other's eyes, they saw nothing and they saw all. +That brief glance was freighted with destiny. A subtle communication had +taken place between them, although they had not spoken; for the eye has +a language of its own. + +What was the meaning of that glance? What was the emotion that gave it +birth in the soul? He knew! It told its own story. To their dying day, +the actors in that silent drama remembered that glance with rapture and +with pain. + +Pepeeta spoke first, hurriedly and anxiously: "What did you say last +night about the 'light of life?' Tell me! I must know." + +"I said there is a light that lighteth every man that cometh into the +world." + +"And what did you mean? Be quick. There is only a moment." + +"I meant that there is a light that shines from the soul itself and that +in this light we may walk, and he who walks in it, walks safely. He need +never fall!" + +"Never? I do not understand; it is beautiful; but I do not understand!" + +"Pepeeta!" called her husband, angrily. + +She turned away, and David watched her gliding out of his sight, with an +irrepressible pain and longing. "I suppose she is his daughter," he said +to himself, and upon that natural but mistaken inference his whole +destiny turned. Something seemed to draw him after her. He took a step +or two, halted, sighed and returned to his labor. + +But it was to a strangely altered world that he went. Its glory had +vanished; it was desolate and empty, or so at least it seemed to him, +for he confounded the outer and the inner worlds, as it was his nature +and habit to do. It was in his soul that the change had taken place. The +face of a bad man and of an incomprehensible woman followed him through +the long furrows until the sun went down. He was vaguely conscious that +he had for the first time actually encountered those strenuous elements +which draw manhood from its moorings. He felt humiliated by the +recognition that he was living a dream life there in his happy valley; +and that there was a life outside which he could not master so easily. +That confidence in his strength and incorruptibility which he had always +felt began to waver a little. His innocence appeared to him like that of +the great first father in the garden of Eden, before his temptation, and +now that he too had listened to the voice of the serpent and had for the +first time been stirred at the description of the sweetness of the great +tree's fruit, there came to him a feeling of foreboding as to the +future. He was astonished that such characters as those he had just +seen did not excite in him loathing and repulsion. Why could he not put +them instantly and forever out of his mind? How could they possess any +attractiveness for him at all--such a blatant, vulgar man or such an +ignorant, ah! but beautiful, woman; for she was beautiful! +Yes--beautiful but bad! But no--such a beautiful woman could not be bad. +See how interested she was about the "inner light." She must be very +ignorant; but she was very attractive. What eyes! What lips! + +Thoughts which he had always been able to expel from his mind before, +like evil birds fluttered again and again into the windows of his soul. +For this he upbraided himself; but only to discover that at the very +moment when he regretted that he had been tempted at all, he also +regretted that he had not been tempted further. + +All day long his agitated spirit alternated between remorse that he had +enjoyed so much, and regret that he had enjoyed so little. Never had he +experienced such a tumult in his soul. He struggled hard, but he could +not tell whether he had conquered or been defeated. + +It was not until he had retired to his room at night and thrown himself +upon his knees, that he began to regain peace. There, in the stillness +of his chamber, he strove for the control of his thoughts and emotions, +and fell asleep after long and prayerful struggles, with the sweet +consciousness of a spiritual triumph! + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE TRAIL OF THE SERPENT + + "Every man living shall assuredly meet with an hour of temptation, + a critical hour which shall more especially try what metal his + heart is made of"--South. + + +It was long after he had awakened in the morning before the memory of +the adventure of yesterday recurred to David's mind. His sleep had been +as deep as that of an infant, and his rest in the great ocean of +oblivion had purified him, so that when he did at last recall the +experience which had affected him so deeply, it was with indifference. +The charm had vanished. Even the gypsy's beauty paled in the light of +the Holy Sabbath morning. He could think of her with entire calmness, +and so thoroughly had the evil vanished that he hoped it had disappeared +forever. But he had yet to learn that before evil can be successfully +forgotten it must be heroically overcome. + +He did not yet realize this, however, and his bath, his morning prayer, +a passage from the gospel, the hearty breakfast, the kind and trustful +faces of his family, dispelled the last cloud from the sky of his soul. +Having finished the round of morning duties, he made himself ready to +visit the lumber camp, there to discharge the sacred duty revealed to +him in the vision. + +The confidence reposed by the genuine Quaker in such intimations of the +Spirit is absolute. They are to him as imperative as the audible voice +of God to Moses by the burning bush. + +"Farewell, mother, I am off," he said, kissing her upon the white +forehead. + +"Thee is going to the lumber camp, my son?" she asked, regarding him +with ill-concealed pride. + +"I am, and hope to press the truth home to the hearts of those who shall +hear me," replied the young devotee, his face lighting up with the +blended rapture of religious enthusiasm, youth and health. + +"The Lord be with thee and make thy ministrations fruitful," his mother +said, and with this blessing he set off. + +As the young mystic had yesterday thought the world dark and stormy +because of the tempest in his soul, so now he thought it still and +peaceful, because of his inward calm. The very intensity of his recent +struggles had rendered his soul acutely sensitive, like a delicate +musical instrument which responded freely to the innumerable fingers +wherewith Nature struck its keys. Her manifold forms, her gorgeous +colors, her gigantic forces thrilled and intoxicated him. + +That sense of fellowship with all the forms of life about him, which is +characteristic of all our moments of deepest rapture in the embrace of +Nature, filled his soul with joy. He accosted the trees as one greets a +friend; he chatted with the brooks; he held conversation with the little +lambs skipping in the pastures, and with the horses that whinnied as he +passed. + +Such opulent moments come to all in youth; moments when the soul, +unconscious of its chains because they have not been stretched to their +limits, roams the universe with God-like liberty and joy. + +Had he been asked to analyze these exquisite emotions, the young Quaker +would have said that they were the joys of the indwelling of the Divine +Spirit. He did not realize how much of his exhilaration came from the +feelings awakened by the experiences of the day before. One might almost +say that a spiritual fragrance from the woman who had crossed his path +was diffusing itself through the chambers of his soul. It was like the +odor of violets which lingers after the flowers themselves are gone. + +Up to this time, he had never felt the mighty and mysterious emotion of +love. More than once, when he had seen the calm face of Dorothy Fraser, +soft and tender feelings had arisen in his heart; but they were only the +first faint gleams of that conflagration which sooner or later breaks +forth in the souls of men like him. + +It was this confusion of the sources of his happiness which made him +oblivious to the struggle that was still going on within his mind. The +question had been raised there as to whether he had chosen wisely in +turning his back upon the joys of an earthly life for the joys of +heaven. It had not been settled, and was waiting an opportunity to +thrust itself again before his consciousness. In the meantime he was +happy. Never had he seemed to himself more perfectly possessed by the +Divine Spirit than at the moment when he reached the summit of the last +hill, and looked down into the valley where lay the lumber-camp. He +paused to gaze upon a scene of surpassing loveliness, and was for a +moment absorbed by its beauty; but a sudden discovery startled and +disturbed him. There was no smoke curling from the chimneys. There were +no forms of men moving about in their brilliant woolen shirts; he +listened in vain for voices; he could not even hear the yelp of the +ever-watchful dogs. + +"Can it be possible that I have been deceived by my vision?" he asked +himself. + +It was the first real skepticism of his life, and crowding it back into +his heart as best he could, he pressed on, excited and curious. As he +approached the rude structure, the signs of its desertion became +indubitable. He called, but heard only the echo of his own voice. He +tried the door, and it opened. Through it he entered the low-ceiled +room. On every hand were evidences of recent departure; living coals +still glowed in the ashes and crumbs were scattered on the tables. There +could be no longer any doubt that the lumbermen had vanished. The last +and most incontrovertible proof was tacked upon the wall in the shape of +a flat piece of board on which were written in a rude scrawl these +words: "We have gone to the Big Miami." + +The face so bright and clear a moment ago was clouded now. He read the +sentence over and over again. He sat down upon a bench and meditated, +then rose and went out, walking around the cabin and returning to read +the message once more. If he had spoken the real sentiment of his heart +he would have said: "I have been deceived." He did not speak, however, +but struggled bravely to throw off the feelings of surprise and doubt; +and so, reassuring his faith again and again by really noble efforts, +took from his pocket the lunch his mother had prepared, and ate it +hungrily although abstractedly. As he did so, he felt the animal joy in +food and rest, and his courage and confidence revived. + +"It is plain," he said to himself, "that God has sent me here to try my +faith. All he requires is obedience! It is not necessary that I should +understand; but it is necessary that I should obey!" + +The idea of a probation so unique was not distasteful to his romantic +nature, and he therefore at once addressed himself to the business upon +which he had come. He had been sent to preach, and preach he would. +Drawing from the inner pocket of his coat a well-worn Bible, he turned +to the fourteenth chapter of the Gospel of Saint John, rose to his feet +and began to read. It was strange to be reading to this emptiness and +silence, but after a moment he adjusted himself to the situation. The +earnest effort he was making to control his mind achieved at least a +partial success. His face brightened, he conjured up before his +imagination the forms and faces of the absent men. He saw them with the +eye of his mind. His voice grew firm and clear, and its tones reassured +him. + +Having finished the lesson, he closed the volume and began to pray. Now +that his eyes were shut, the strangeness of the situation vanished +entirely. He was no longer alone, for God was with him. The petition was +full of devotion, tenderness and faith, and as he poured it forth his +countenance beamed like that of an angel. When it was finished he began +the sermon. The first few words were scarcely audible. The thoughts were +disconnected and fragmentary. He suffered an unfamiliar and painful +embarrassment, but struggled on, and his thoughts cleared themselves +like a brook by flowing. Each effort resulted in a greater facility of +utterance, and soon the joy of triumph began to inspire him. The old +confidence returned at last and his soul, filled with faith and hope and +fervor, poured itself forth in a full torrent. He began to be awed by +the conjecture that his errand had some extraordinary although hidden +import. Who could tell what mission these words were to accomplish in +the plans of God? He remembered that the waves made by the smallest +pebble flung into the ocean widen and widen until they touch the +farthest shore, and he flung the pebbles of his speech into the great +ocean of thought, transported by the hope of sometime learning that +their waves had beat upon the shores of a distant universe. + +Suddenly, in the midst of this tumultuous rush of speech, he heard, or +thought he heard, a sound. It seemed to him like a sob and there +followed stumbling footsteps as of some one in hurried flight, but he +was too absorbed to be more than dimly conscious of anything save his +own emotions. + +And yet, slight as was this interruption, it served to agitate his mind +and bring him down from the realms of imagination to the world of +reality. His thoughts began to flow less easily and his tongue +occasionally to stammer; the strangeness of his experience came back +upon him with redoubled force; the chill influence of vacancy and +emptiness oppressed him; his enthusiasm waned; what he was doing began +to seem foolish and even silly. + +Just at that critical moment there occurred one of those trifling +incidents which so often produce results ridiculously disproportionate +to their apparent importance. Through the open door to which his back +was turned, a little snake had made its way into the room, and having +writhed silently across the floor, coiled itself upon the hearth-stone, +faced the speaker, looked solemnly at him with its beady eyes, and +occasionally thrust out its forked tongue as if in relish of his words. + +That fixed and inscrutable gaze completed the confusion of the orator. +He suddenly ceased to speak, and stood staring at the serpent. His face +became impassive and expressionless; the pupils of his eyes dilated; his +lips remained apart; the last word seemed frozen on his tongue. Not a +shade of thought could be traced on his countenance and yet he must +have been thinking, for he suddenly collapsed, sank down on a rude bench +and rested his head on his hands as if he had come to some disagreeable, +and perhaps terrible conclusion. And so indeed he had. The uneasy +suspicions which had been floating in his mind in a state of solution +were suddenly crystallized by this untoward event. The absurdity of a +man's having tramped twenty miles through an almost unbroken wilderness +to preach the gospel to a garter snake, burst upon him with a crushing +force. This grotesque denouement of an undertaking planned and executed +in the loftiest frame of religious enthusiasm, shook the very foundation +of his faith. + +"It is absurd, it is impossible, that an infinite Spirit of love and +wisdom could have planned this repulsive adventure! I have been misled! +I am the victim of a delusion!" he said to himself, in shame and +bitterness. + +To him, Christianity had been not so much a system of doctrines based +upon historical proofs, as emotions springing from his own heart. He +believed in another world not because its existence had been testified +to by others, but because he daily and hourly entered its sacred +precincts. He had faith in God, not because He had spoken to apostles +and prophets, but because He had spoken to David Corson. Having received +direct communication from the Divine Spirit, how could he doubt? What +other proof could he need? + +Suddenly, without warning and without preparation, the foundation upon +which he had erected the superstructure of his faith crumbled and fell. +He had been deceived! The communications were false! They had originated +in his own soul, and were not really the voice of God. + +Through this suspicion, as through a suddenly-opened door, the powers of +hell rushed into his soul and it became the theater of a desperate +battle between the good and evil elements of life. Doubt grappled with +faith; self-gratification with self-restraint; despair with hope; lust +with purity; body with soul. + +He heard again the mocking laughter of the quack, and the stinging words +of his cynical philosophy once more rang in his ears. What this coarse +wretch had said was true, then! Religion was a delusion, and he had been +spending the best portion of his life in hugging it to his bosom. Much +of his youth had already passed and he had not as yet tasted the only +substantial joys of existence,--money, pleasure, ambition, love! He felt +that he had been deceived and defrauded. + +A contempt for his old life and its surroundings crept upon him. He +began to despise the simple country people among whom he had grown up, +and those provincial ideas which they cherished in the little, unknown +nook of the world where they stagnated. + +During a long time he permitted himself to be borne upon the current of +these thoughts without trying to stem it, till it seemed as if he would +be swept completely from his moorings. But his trust had been firmly +anchored, and did not easily let go its hold. The convictions of a +lifetime began to reassert themselves. They rose and struggled +heroically for the possession of his spirit. + +Had the battle been with the simple abstraction of philosophic doubt, +the good might have prevailed, but there obtruded itself into the field +the concrete form of the gypsy. The glance of her lustrous eye, the +gleam of her milk-white teeth, the heaving of her agitated bosom, the +inscrutable but suggestive expression of her flushed and eager face, +these were foes against which he struggled in vain. A feverish desire, +whose true significance he did not altogether understand, tugged at his +heart, and he felt himself drawn by unseen hands toward this mysterious +and beautiful being. She seemed to him at that awful moment, when his +whole world of thought and feeling was slipping from under his feet, the +one only abiding reality. She at least was not an impalpable vision, but +solid, substantial, palpitating flesh and blood. Like continuously +advancing waves which sooner or later must undermine a dyke, the +passions and suspicions of his newly awakened nature were sapping the +foundations of his belief. + +At intervals he gained a little courage to withstand them, and at such +moments tried to pray; but the effort was futile, for neither would the +accustomed syllables of petition spring to his lips, nor the feelings of +faith and devotion arise within his heart. He strove to convince +himself that this experience was a trial of his faith, and that if he +stood out a little longer, his doubt would pass away. He lifted his head +and glanced at the serpent still coiled upon the hearth. Its eyes were +fixed upon him in a gorgon-like stare, and his doubts became positive +certainties, as disgust became loathing. The battle had ended. The +mystic had been defeated. This sudden collapse had come because the +foundations of his faith had been honeycombed. The innocent serpent had +been, not the cause, but the occasion. + +Influences had been at work, of which the Quaker had remained +unconscious. He had been observing, without reflecting upon, many facts +in the lives of other men, experiences in his own heart, and apparent +inconsistencies in the Bible. There was also a virus whose existence he +did not suspect running in his very blood! And now on top of the rest +came the bold skepticism of the quack, and the bewildering beauty of the +gypsy. + +Yes, the preliminary work had been done! We never know how rotten the +tree is until it falls, nor how unstable the wall until it crumbles. And +so in the moral natures of men, subtle forces eat their way silently and +imperceptibly to the very center. + +A summer breeze overthrows the tree, the foot of a child sets the wall +tottering; a whisper, a smile, even the sight of a serpent, is the jar +that upsets the equilibrium of a soul. + +The Quaker rose from his seat in a fever of excitement. He seized the +Bible lying open on the table, hurled it frantically at the snake and +flung himself out of the open door into the sunshine. A wild +consciousness of liberty surged over him. + +"I am free," he exclaimed aloud. "I have emancipated myself from +superstition. I am going forth into the world to assert myself, to +gratify my natural appetites, to satisfy my normal desires. It was for +this that life was given. I have too long believed that duty consisted +in conquering nature. I now see that it lies in asserting it. I have too +long denied myself. I will hereafter be myself. That man was +right--there is no law above the human will." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +THE CHANCE WORD + + "A man reforms his habits altogether or not at all." + --Bacon. + + +David was not mistaken in his vague impression that he had heard a sob +and footsteps outside the cabin door. + +The little band of lumbermen abandoning their camp in the early light of +the morning for another clearing still farther in the wilderness, had +already covered several miles of their journey when their leader +suddenly discovered that he had forgotten his axe, and with a wild +volley of oaths turned back to get it. + +Even in that region, where new types of men sprang up like new varieties +of plants after a fire has swept over a clearing, there was not to be +found a more unique and striking personality than Andy McFarlane. In +physique he was of gigantic proportions, his hair and beard as red as +fire, his voice loud and deep, his eyes blue and piercing. Clad in the +gay-colored woolen shirt, the rough fur cap, and the high-topped boots +of a lumberman, his appearance was bold and picturesque to the last +degree. + +Nor were his mental powers inferior to his physical. Although unable to +read or write, he could both reason and command. His keen perceptions, +his ready wit, his forcible logic and his invincible will had made him +a leader among men and the idol of the rude people among whom he passed +his days. + +Repelled and disgusted with those manifestations of the religious life +with which alone he was familiar, he was still an unconscious worshiper. +The woods, the hills, the rivers and the stars awoke within him a +response to the beautiful, the sublime and awe-inspiring in the natural +universe. + +But because of ignorance, the mysteries of existence which ought to have +made him devout had only rendered him superstitious, though, all unknown +to himself, his bosom was full of inflammable materials of a deeply +religious life. A spark fell upon them that Sunday morning and kindled +them into a conflagration. Nothing else can so enrage a nature like his +as having to retrace its steps. He could have walked a hundred miles +straight forward without a feeling of fatigue or a sense of hardship; +but every backward step of his journey had put him more out of temper. +He reached the clearing in a towering passion and was bewildered at +hearing in what he supposed to be a deserted room, the sound of a human +voice in whose tones there was a peculiar quality which aroused his +interest and perhaps excited his superstition. He crept toward the rude +cabin on his tiptoes, paused and listened. What he heard was the voice +of the young mystic, pouring out his heart in prayer. + +For the first time in his life McFarlane gave serious attention to a +petition addressed to the Supreme Being. Other prayers had disgusted him +because of their vulgar familiarity with the Deity, or repelled him by +their hypocrisy; but there was something so sincere and simple in the +childlike words which issued from the cabin as to quicken his soul and +turn his thoughts upon the mysteries of existence. He had received the +gift of life as do the eagles and the lions--without surprise. Had any +one asked him: "Andy McFarlane, what is life?" he would have answered: +"Life? Why it is just life." + +But suddenly a voice, heard in the quiet of a wilderness, a voice full +of tenderness and pathos, issuing from unknown and invisible lips and +ascending into the vast and illimitable spaces of air, threw wide open +the gates of mystery. His heart was instantly emptied of its passions; +his soul grew calm and his whole nature became as impressionable as wax. + +When at length the prayer had ended and the sermon began, every power of +his mind was strained to its utmost capacity, and he listened as if for +life. The buried germs of desires and aspirations of which he had never +dreamed were quickened into life with the rapidity of the outburst of +vegetation in a polar summer. Words and phrases which had hitherto +seemed to him the utterances of fools or madmen, became instinct with a +marvelous beauty and a wondrous meaning. They flashed like balls of +fire. They pierced like swords. They aroused like trumpets. Such was +the susceptibility of this great soul, and such was the power of that +simple eloquence. + +Andy McFarlane, the child of poverty, the rude lumberman, the hardy +frontiersman, was by nature a poet and a seer, and this was his new +birth into his true inheritance. Those eyes which had never wept, swam +in tears. Those knees which had never trembled before the visible, shook +in the presence of the unseen. + +The emotions have their limitations as well as the thoughts, and +McFarlane had endured all that he was capable of sustaining. With a +profound sob, in which he uttered the feelings he could not speak, he +turned and fled. It was this sob and these footsteps which David heard. + +Plunging into the depths of the forest as a wounded animal would have +done, he cast himself upon the bosom of the earth at the foot of a great +tree, to find solitude and consolation. + +There are wounds in the soul too deep to be healed by the balm which +exudes from the visible elements of Nature. There are longings and +aspirations which the palpable and audible cannot satisfy. Not what he +sees and touches, but what he hopes and trusts, can save man in these +dark moments from the final despair and terror of existence. + +Upon such an hour as this the lumberman had fallen. God had thrust +Himself upon his attention. Instead of being compelled to seek a +religious experience, he found it impossible to escape it. + +The religious experiences of men in any such epoch possess a certain +general similarity. Sometimes thought, sometimes action and sometimes +emotion furnish the all-pervasive element. Whatever this peculiar +characteristic may be, its manifestations are always most vivid and +violent in ignorant periods, and along the uncultivated frontiers of +advancing civilization. In those rude days and regions, the victims (if +one might say so) of religion experienced nervous excitations and +emotional transports which not infrequently terminated in convulsions. +Days and nights, weeks and even months, were often spent by them in +struggles which were always painful and often terrible. + +Andy McFarlane had often enough witnessed and despised these +experiences; but through those almost inexorable laws of association and +imitation, they were more than likely to reproduce themselves in him. +And so indeed they did. Under the influence of these new thoughts that +had seized him with such power, he writhed in agony on the ground. A +profound "conviction of sin" took possession of his soul and he felt +himself to be hopelessly and forever lost. That hell at which he had so +often scoffed suddenly opened its jaws beneath his feet, and although he +shuddered at the thought of being engulfed in its horrors, he felt that +such a doom would be the just desert of a life like his. + +Hours passed in which his calmest thoughts were those of complete +bewilderment and helplessness, and in which he seemed to himself to be +floating upon a wide and shoreless sea, or wandering in a pathless +wilderness or winging his way like a lost bird through the trackless +heavens. However large an element of unreality and absurdity there may +have been in such experiences, it is certain that changes of the most +startling and permanent character were often wrought in the natures of +those who passed through them, and when McFarlane at last emerged from +this spiritual excitement he was a strangely altered man. He seemed to +find himself in another and more beautiful world. Looking around him +with a childlike wonder, he rose and made his way back to the cabin. He +listened at the door, but heard no sound. He entered, found the room +empty, and gave himself up to rude and unscientific speculation as to +the nature of this mysterious adventure. Nothing helped to solve the +problem, until at last he discovered the Bible, which the Quaker had +hurled at the snake, lying upon the hearthstone. It did not explain +everything, but it served to connect the inexplicable with the real and +human, and he carried the book with him when he returned to his +companions with his recovered axe. + +That Bible became a "lamp to his feet and a light to his path." By +patient labor he learned to read it, and soon grew to be so familiar +with its contents, that he was able not only to communicate its matter +to others, in the new and beautiful life which he began to live, but to +give it new power for those men in the plain and homely language of +which he had always been a master. + +The lion had become a lamb, the eagle a dove. He moved among his men, +the incarnation of gentleness and truth. Under his powerful influence +the camp passed through a marvelous transformation. From this limited +sphere of influence, his fame began to extend into a larger region. He +was sent for from far and near to tell the story of his strange +conversion, and in time abandoned all other labor and gave himself +entirely to the preaching of the Gospel. + +It was as if the spirit of love and faith which had departed from the +Quaker had entered into the lumberman. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +A BROKEN REED + + "Superstition is a senseless fear of God." + --Cicero. + + +The address of the young Quaker in the meeting house and the interview +with him by the roadside had opened a new epoch in the life of the +Fortune Teller. + +Her idea of the world was a chaos of crude and irrational conceptions. +The superstitions of the gypsies by whom she had been reared were +confusedly blended with those practical but vicious maxims which +governed the conduct of her husband. + +For her, the world of law, of order, of truth, of justice had no +existence. The quack cared little what she thought, and had neither the +ability nor the interest to penetrate to the secrets of her soul. + +She had lived the dream life of an ignorant child up to the moment when +David had awakened her soul, and now that she really began to grapple +with the problems of existence, she had neither companion nor teacher to +help her. + +The two objects about which her thoughts had begun to hover helplessly +were the God of whom David had spoken and the Quaker himself. Both of +them had profoundly agitated her mind and heart, and still haunted her +thoughts. + +During all of Saturday after the interview, through the evening which +she had passed in her booth, and far into the night, she had revolved in +her mind the words she had heard, and attempted to weave these two +mysterious beings into her confused scheme of thought. + +Her disappointment at David's refusal to accompany them in their +wandering life had been bitter. She did not comprehend the nature of her +feeling for him; but his presence gave her so exquisite a happiness that +the thought of never seeing him again had become intolerable. + +For the first time she, who had been for years, as she thought, +disclosing the future to other people, was seized with a burning +curiosity as to her own. Up to this crisis of her experience she had +lived in the present moment; but now she must look into to-morrow and +see if the Quaker was ever to cross her path again. For so important, so +delicate and so difficult a discovery it seemed to her that the ordinary +instruments of her art were pitifully inadequate. The playing cards, the +lines upon her hands, the leaves in her tea cup would not do. She would +resort to that charm which the old gypsy had given her at parting, and +which she had reserved for some great and critical moment of life. That +moment had arrived. + +As she enjoyed the most perfect freedom in all her movements, she +snatched an early and hurried breakfast Sunday morning, told her husband +that she was going to the woods for wild flowers, and set forth upon an +errand pregnant with destiny. + +With an instinct like that of a wild creature she made her way swiftly +towards the great forest which lay at a little distance from the +outskirts of the village. + +Her ignorance, her inexperience, her sadness and her beauty would have +stirred the hardest heart to compassion. Arrived at the point where she +was to confront the great spiritual problems of existence, she might +almost as well have been the first woman who had ever done so, for she +knew nothing of the experiences of others who had encountered them, and +she had scarcely heard an echo of the great life-truths which seers have +been ages in discovering. She had to sound her way across the perilous +sea of thought without any other chart than the faded parchment of the +gypsy, and those few incomprehensible words which she had heard from the +lips of the young Quaker. + +It is good for us that upon this vast and unknown sea of life, God's +winds and waves are wiser and stronger than the pilots, and often bring +our frail crafts into havens which we never sought! Perhaps the act +which Pepeeta was about to perform had more ethical and spiritual value +than the casual observer would suppose, because of the perfect sincerity +with which she undertook its performance. No priestess ever entered an +oracle, no vestal virgin a temple, nor saint a shrine with more +reverence than she felt, as she passed into the silence of this +primeval forest. + +Neither David nor Pepeeta knew anything of each other's movements, but +they started upon their different errands at almost the same moment and +were pursuing parallel courses with only a low ridge of hills between +them. Each was following the brightest light that had shone upon the +pathway of life. Both were absorbed with the highest thoughts of which +they were capable. As invisible planets deflect the stars from their +orbits, these two were imperceptibly diverting each other from the way +of duty. The experiences of this beautiful morning were to color the +lives of both forever. + +As soon as Pepeeta had escaped from the immediate environments of the +village, she gave herself wholly to the task of gathering those +ingredients which were to constitute the mixture she planned to offer to +her god. She first secured a cricket, a lizard and a frog, and then the +herbs and flowers which were to be mingled with them. Thrusting them all +into a little kettle which swung on her arm, she surrendered herself to +the silent and mysterious influences of the forest. At the edge of the +primeval wilderness a solemn hush stole over her. She entered its +precincts as if it were a temple and she a worshiper with a votive +offering. Threading her way through the winding aisles of the great +cathedral, she was exalted and transported. The fitful fever cooled in +her veins. She absorbed and drew into her own spirit the calm and +silence of the place, and she was in turn absorbed and drawn into the +majestic life around her. The distinctively human seemed to slip from +her like a garment, and she was transformed into a creature of these +solitudes. Her movements resembled those of a fawn. Her great, +gazelle-like eyes peered hither and thither, as if ever upon the watch +for some hidden foe. It was as if her life in the habitations of men had +been an enforced exile, and she had now returned to her native haunts. + +As she penetrated more and more deeply into the wood, her confidence +increased; she stepped more firmly, removed her hat, shook out her long +black tresses, listened to the songs of birds piping in the tops of +trees, and exulted in the consciousness of freedom and of kinship with +these natural objects. With a sudden and impulsive movement, she drew +near to the smooth trunk of a great beech, put her arms around it, laid +her cheek against it and kissed the bark. She was prompted by the same +instinct which made St. Francis de Assisi call the flowers "our little +sisters,--" an inexplicable sense of companionship and fraternity with +living things of every kind. + +Her swift footsteps brought her at last to the summit of a low line of +hills, and she glided down into an unpeopled and shadow-haunted valley +through which ran a crystal stream. Perceiving the fitness of the place +for her purpose, she hastened forward smiling, and, heated with her +journey, threw herself down by the side of the brook and plunged her +face into its cool and sparkling waters. Then she lifted her head and +carried the water to her lips in the palm of her dainty hand, and as she +drank beheld the image of her face on the surface of a quiet little +pool. Small wonder that she stooped to kiss the red lips which were +mirrored there! So did the fair Greek maidens discover and pay tribute +to their own loveliness, in the pure springs of Hellas. + +Refreshed by the cooling draught, the priestess now addressed herself to +her task. Gazing for an instant around the majestic temple in which her +act of worship was to be performed, she began like some child of a long +gone age to rear an altar. Selecting a few from the many boulders that +were strewn along the edge of the stream, she arranged them so as to +make an elevated platform upon which she heaped dry leaves, brushwood +and dead branches. Over it she suspended a tripod of sticks, and from +this hung her iron kettle. Drawing from her pocket flint and steel, she +struck them together, dropped a spark upon a piece of rotten wood, +purred out her pretty cheeks and blew it into a flame. As the fire +caught in the dry brushwood and began to leap heavenward, she followed +it with her great brown eyes until it vanished into space. Her spirit +thrilled with that same sense of awe and reverence which filled the +souls of primitive men when they traced the course of the darting flames +toward the sky. In the presence of fire, some form of worship is +inevitable. Before conflagrations our reveries are transformed into +prayers. The silently ascending tongues of flame carry us involuntarily +into the presence of the Infinite. + +Filling her kettle with water from the running brook, she stirred into +it the herbs, the berries, the lizard, the frog and the cricket. This +part of her work completed, she sat down upon a bed of moss, drew forth +the sacred parchment and read its contents again and again. + +"When the cauldron steams, dance about the fire and sing this song. As +the last words die away Matizan will leap from the flames and reveal to +thee the future." + +Credulous child that she was, not the faintest shadow of a doubt floated +across her mind. She thrust the parchment back into her bosom, and as +the water began to bubble, leaped to her feet, threw her arms above her +head, sprang into the air, and went whirling away in graceful curves and +bacchantean dances. + +There were in these movements, as in every dance, mysterious and perhaps +incomprehensible elements. + +Who can tell whether they have their origin in the will of the dancer +alone, or in some outside force? The daisies in the meadow and the waves +of the sea dance because they are agitated by the wind. The little cork +automaton upon the sounding board of a piano dances because it is +agitated by the vibrations of the strings. The little children in the +alleys of a great city seem to be agitated in the same way by the +hurdy-gurdy! + +Perhaps the rhythmic beating of the feet upon the ground surcharges the +body with electrical force, as by the touch of a magnet. There is a +mystery in the simplest phenomena of life. + +Pepeeta, dancing upon the green moss beneath the great beech trees, +seemed to be in the hands of some external power, and could scarcely +have been distinguished from an automaton! She had brought her +tambourine, and holding it on high with her left hand or extending it +far forward, she tapped it with her fingers or her knuckles, until all +its brazen disks tingled and its little bells gave out a sweet and +silvery tintinnabulation. + +The dancer's movements were alternately sinuous, undulatory and gliding. +At one moment her supple form, bending humbly toward the earth, +resembled the stem of a lily over-weighted with its blossom; the next, a +branch of a tree flung upward by a tempest; the next, a column of autumn +leaves caught up by a miniature whirlwind and sent spinning along a +winding path. + +Her eyes glowed, her cheeks burned and her bosom heaved with excitement. +She seemed either to have caught from nature her own mood, or else to +have communicated hers to it, for while she danced all else danced with +her, the water in the brook, the squirrels in the tree-tops, the shadows +on the moss, and the leaves on the branches. + +Following the directions of the parchment, she continued to spin and +flutter around the fire until the water in the kettle began to boil. At +the first ebullitions, she stood poised for an instant upon her toe, +like the famous statue of Mercury, and so lightly that she seemed to be +sustained by undiscoverable wings, or to float, like a bubble, of her +own buoyancy. + +Settling down at length as if she were a hummingbird lighting upon a +flower, she began to circle slowly around the fire and sing. The melody +was in a minor key and full of weird pathos. The words were these: + + "God of the gypsy camp, Matizan, Matizan, + Open the future to me-- + Me thy true worshiper, here in this solitude, + Offering this incense to thee. + + "Matizan, Matizan, God of the future days, + Come in the smoke and the fire; + Kaffaran, Kaffaran, Muzsubar, Zanzarbee; + Bundemar, Omadar, Zire." + +As the last syllable fell from her lips, the loathsome decoction boiled +over, and the singer, pausing as if suddenly turned to marble, stood in +statuesque beauty, her arms extended, her lips parted, her eyes fixed. +Expectancy gave place to surprise, surprise to disappointment, +disappointment to despair. + +The lips began to quiver, the eyes to fill with tears; her girlish +figure suddenly collapsed and sank upon the ground as the sail of a +vessel falls to the deck when a sudden blast of wind has snapped its +cordage. + +While the broken-hearted and disillusioned priestess lay prostrate +there, the fire spluttered, the birds sang cheerfully in the treetops, +and the brook murmured to the grasses at its marge. No unearthly voice +disturbed the tranquillity of the forest, and no unearthly presence +appeared upon the scene. The great world spirit paid no more attention +to the prone and weeping woman than to the motes, that were swimming +gaily in the sunbeams. + +As for her, poor child, her life faith had been dissipated in a single +instant, and the whole fabric of her thought-world demolished in a +single crash. + +What had happened to the Quaker in the lumber camp, had befallen the +gypsy in the forest. But while in his case the disappearance of faith +had been followed by a sudden eruption of evil passions, in hers a +vanished superstition had given place to a nascent spiritual life. + +The seed of religious truth sown by his hand in the fertile soil of her +heart already struck its roots deep down. She did not in any full degree +comprehend his words; but that reiterated statement that "there is a +light which lighteth every man that cometh into the world" had made an +indelible impression upon her mind and was destined to accomplish great +results. + +As she lay crushed and desolate in her disillusionment, her mind began +of its own accord suddenly to feed upon this new hope. She could not be +said to have been reasoning, as David was doing in the cabin. Her nature +was emotional rather than intellectual, or at least her powers of reason +had never been developed. She could not therefore think her way through +these pathless regions over which she was now compelled to pass; she +could only feel her way. The thoughts which began to course through her +mind did not originate in any efforts of the will, but issued +spontaneously from the depths of her soul, and as they arose without +volition, so did they flow on until they finally became as pure and +clear as the waters of the brook by whose banks she lay. + +When her emotions had expended their force and she arose, an experience +befell her which revealed the immaturity of her mind. + +The idea of that "inner light" had taken complete possession of her +soul, and so when she suddenly perceived a long bright path of gold +which a beam of the setting sun had thrown along the floor of the +forest, like a shining track in the direction of the village, she +thought it had emerged from the depths of her own spirit. + +Without a moment's hesitation she entered this golden highway and sped +along! Not for another instant did she regret the failure of the gypsy +god to meet her. She knew well enough, now, the way to find her path +amid the mysteries of life! She had but to follow this light! + +The shining pathway led her to the summit of the hill; and as she began +to descend the other slope, it vanished with the sun. But she was not +troubled, for she saw at a glance that the brook to whose banks she was +coming was the one flowing through the farm of the Quaker. "Perhaps I +shall see him again," she said to herself, and the hope made her +tumultuously happy. + +She had lost all consciousness of the flight of time, and now noticed +with surprise that it was evening. The crows were winging their way to +their nesting ground; the rabbits were seeking their burrows; the whole +animal world was faring homeward. Some universal impulse seemed to be +driving them along their predestined paths, as it drove the brooks and +the clouds, and Pepeeta appeared, as much as they, to be borne onward by +a power above herself. She was but little more conscious of choosing her +path than the doe who at a little distance was hurrying home to her +mate; so completely were all her volitional powers in abeyance to the +emotional elements of her soul. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WHERE PATHS CONVERGE + + "If we do meet again, we'll smile indeed; + If not, 'tis true this parting was well made." + --Julius Caesar. + + +Violent emotions, like the lunar tides, must have their ebb because they +have their flow. The feelings do not so much advance like a river, as +oscillate like a pendulum. + +Striding homeward after his downfall in the log cabin, David's +determination to join his fortunes to those of the two adventurers began +to wane. He trembled at an unknown future and hesitated before untried +paths. + +Already the strange experience through which he had just passed began to +seem to him like a half-forgotten dream. The refluent thoughts and +feelings of his religious life began to set back into every bay and +estuary of his soul. + +With a sense of shame, he regretted his hasty decision, and was saying +to himself, "I will arise and go to my Father," for all the experiences +of life clothed themselves at once in the familiar language of the +Scriptures. + +It is more than likely that he would have carried out this resolution, +and that this whole experience would have become a mere incident in his +life history, if his destiny had depended upon his personal volition. +But how few of the great events of life are brought about by our choice +alone! + +Just at sunset, he crossed the bridge over the brook which formed the +boundary line of the farm, and as he did so heard a light footstep. +Lifting his eyes, he saw Pepeeta, who at that very instant stepped out +of the low bushes which lined the trail she had been following. + +Her appearance was as sudden as an apparition and her beauty dazzled +him. Her face, flushed with exercise, gleamed against the background of +her black hair with a sort of spiritual radiance. When she saw the +Quaker, a smile of unmistakable delight flashed upon her features and +added to her bewitching grace. She might have been an Oread or a Dryad +wandering alone through the great forest. What bliss for youth and +beauty to meet thus at the close of day amid the solitudes of Nature! + +Had Nature forgotten herself, to permit these two young and +impressionable beings to enjoy this pleasure on a lonely road just as +the day was dying and the tense energies of the world were relaxed? +There are times when her indifference to her own most inviolable laws +seems anarchic. There are moments when she appears wantonly to lure her +children to destruction. + +They gazed into each other's eyes, they knew not how long, with an +incomprehensible and delicious joy, and then looked down upon the +ground. Having regained their composure by this act, they lifted their +eyes and regarded each other with frank and friendly smiles. + +"I thought thee had gone," said David. + +"We stayed longer than we expected," Pepeeta replied. + +"Has thee been hunting wild flowers?" he asked, observing the bouquet +which she held in her hand. + +"I picked them on the way." + +"Has thee been walking far?" + +"I have not thought." + +"It is easy to walk in these spring days." + +"I must have found it so, for I have been out since sunrise, and am not +tired." + +"Thee does love the woods?" + +"Oh, so much! I am a sort of wild creature and should like to live in a +cave." + +"I am afraid thee would always turn thy face homeward at dusk, as thee +is doing now," he said with a smile. + +"Oh, no! I am not afraid! I go because I must." + +"I will join thee, if I may. The same path will take us toward our +different destinations." + +"Oh, I shall be glad, for I want to ask you many questions. I can think +of nothing else but what I heard you say in the meeting house." + +"I fear I have said some things which I do not understand myself," he +replied, with a flush, remembering the experience through which he had +just passed. + +The path was wide enough for two, and side by side they moved slowly +forward. + +The somber garb in which he was dressed, and the brilliant colors of her +apparel, afforded a contrast like that between a pheasant and a scarlet +tanager. Color, form, motion--all were perfect. They fitted into the +scene without a jar or discord, and enhanced rather than disturbed the +harmony of the drowsy landscape. + +As they walked onward, they vaguely felt the influence of the repose +that was stealing upon the tired world; the intellectual and volitional +elements of their natures becoming gradually quiescent, the emotions +were given full sway. They felt themselves drawn toward each other by +some irresistible power, and, although they had never before been +conscious of any incompleteness of their lives, they suddenly discovered +affinities of whose existence they had never dreamed. Their two +personalities seemed to be absorbed into one new mysterious and +indivisible being, and this identity gave them an incomprehensible joy. +Over them as they walked, Nature brooded, sphynx-like. Their young and +healthy natures were tuned in unison with the harmonies of the world +like perfect instruments from which the delicate fingers of the great +Musician evoked a melody of which she never tired, reserving her +discords for a future day. On this delicious evening she permitted them +to be thrilled through and through with joy and hope and she accompanied +the song their hearts were singing with her own multitudinous voices. +"Be happy," chirped the birds; "be happy," whispered the evening +breeze; "be happy," murmured the brook, running along by their side and +looking up into their faces with laughter. The whole world seemed to +resound with the refrain, "Be happy! Be happy! for you are young, are +young, are young!" + +Pepeeta first broke the silence. + +"I had never heard of the things about which you talked," she said. + +"Thee never had? How could that be? I thought that every one knew them!" + +"I must have lived in a different world from yours." + +"What sort of a world has thee lived in?" + +"A world of fairs and circuses, of traveling everywhere and never +stopping anywhere." + +"Has thee never been in a church?" + +"Never until that night." + +"And thee knows nothing of God?" + +"Nothing except the gypsy god, and he was not like yours." + +"And thee was happy?" + +"I thought so until I heard what you said. Since then I have been full +of care and trouble. I wish I knew what you meant! But I have seen that +wonderful light!" + +"Thee has seen it?" + +"Yes, to-day! And I followed it; I shall always follow it." + +"When does thee leave the village?" David asked, fearing the +conversation would lead where he did not want to go. + +"To-morrow," she said. + +"Does thee think that the doctor would renew his offer to take me with +him?" + +"Do I think so? Oh! I am sure." + +"Then I will go." + +"You will go? Oh! I am so happy! The doctor was very angry; he has not +been himself since. You don't know how glad he will be." + +"But will not thee be happy, too?" he asked. + +"Happier than you could dream," she answered with all the frankness of a +child. "But what made you change your mind?" + +"I will tell thee sometime; it is too late now. There is my home and I +have much work to do before dark." + +"Home!" she echoed. "I never had a home, or at least I cannot remember +it. We have always led a roving life, here to-day and gone to-morrow. It +must be sweet to have a home!" + +"Thee has always led a roving life and wishes to have a home? I have +always had a home, and wish to lead a roving life," said David. + +They looked at each other and smiled at this curious contradiction. They +smiled because they were not yet old enough to weep over the +restlessness of the human heart. + +Having reached the edge of the woods, where their paths separated, they +paused. + +"We must part," said David. + +"Yes; but we shall meet to-morrow." + +"We shall meet to-morrow." + +"You are sure?" + +"I am sure." + +"You will not change your mind?" + +"I could not if I would." + +"Good-bye." + +"Good-bye." + +At the touch of their hands their young hearts were swayed by tender and +tumultuous feelings. A too strong pressure startled them, and they +loosened their grasp. The sun sank behind the hill. The shadows that +fell upon their faces awakened them from their dreams. Again they said +goodbye and reluctantly parted. Once they stopped and, turning, waved +their hands; and the next moment Pepeeta entered the road which led her +out of sight. + +In this interview, the entire past of these two lives seemed to count +for nothing. + +If Pepeeta had never seen anything of the world; if she had issued from +a nunnery at that very moment, she could not have acted with a more +utter disregard of every principle of safety. + +It was the same with David. The fact that he had been reared a Quaker; +that he had been dedicated to God from his youth; that he had struggled +all his days to be prepared for such a moment as this, did not affect +him to the least degree. + +The seasoning of the bow does not invariably prevent it from snapping. +The drill on the parade ground does not always insure, courage for the +battle. Nothing is more terrible than this futility of the past. + +Such scenes as this discredit the value of experience, and attach a +terrible reality to the conclusion of Coleridge, that "it is like the +stern-light of a vessel--illuminating only the path over which we have +traveled." + +Nor did the future possess any more power over their destinies than the +past. Not a conscious foreboding disturbed their enjoyment of that brief +instant which alone can be called the present. + +And yet, no moment in their after lives came up more frequently for +review than this one, and in the light of subsequent events they were +forced to recognize that during every instant of this scene there was an +uneasy but unacknowledged sense of danger and wrong thrilling through +all those emotions of bliss. + +It is seldom that any man or woman enters into the region of danger +without premonitions. The delicate instincts of the soul hoist the +warning signals, but the wild passions disregard them. + +It was to this moment that their consciences traced their sorrows; it +was to that act of their souls which permitted them to enjoy that +momentary rapture that they attached their guilt; it was at that moment +and in that silent place that they planted the seeds of the trees upon +which they were subsequently crucified. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +A POISONED SPRING + + "It was the saying of a great man, that if we could trace our + descents, we should find all slaves to come from princes and all + princes from slaves!"--Seneca. + + +Early the next morning the two adventurers took their departure. + +The jovial quack lavished his good-byes upon the landlord and the +"riff-raff" who gathered to welcome the coming or speed the parting +guest at the door of the country tavern. He drove a pair of beautiful, +spirited horses, and had the satisfaction of knowing that he excited the +envy of every beholder, as he took the ribbons in his hand, swung out +his long whip and started. + +If her husband's heart was swelling with pride, Pepeeta's was bursting +with anxiety. An instinct which she did not understand had prevented her +from telling the doctor of her interview with the Quaker. Long before +the farmhouse came in sight she began to scan the landscape for the +figure which had been so vividly impressed upon her mind. + +The swift horses, well fed and well groomed, whirled the light wagon +along the road at a rapid pace and as they passed the humble home of the +Quaker, Pepeeta saw a little child driving the cows down the long lane, +and a woman moving quietly among the flowers in the garden; but David +himself was not to be seen. + +"He has gone," she said to herself joyously. + +On through the beech grove, around the turn of the road, into full view +of the bridge, they sped. + +It was empty! And yet it was there that he had agreed to meet them! + +A tear fell from her eye, and her chin quivered. With the utmost effort +of her will she could not repress these evidences of her disappointment, +and with a spasmodic motion she clutched the arm of the driver as if it +were that of Destiny and she could hold it back. + +So sudden and so powerful was the grasp of her young hand, that it +turned the horses out of the road and all but upset the carriage. + +With a violent jerk of the reins, the astonished driver pulled them +back, and exclaimed with an oath: + +"You little wild cat, if you ever d-d-do that again, I will throw you +into the d-d-ditch!" + +"Excuse me!" she answered humbly, cowering under his angry glances. + +"What in the d-d-deuce is the matter?" he asked more kindly, seeing the +tears in her eyes. + +"I do not know. I am nervous, I guess," she answered sadly. + +"Nervous? P-p-pepeeta Aesculapius nervous? I thought her nerves were +m-m-made of steel? What is the m-m-matter?" he asked, looking at her +anxiously. + +His gentleness calmed her, and she answered: "I am sorry to leave a +place where I have been so happy. Oh! why cannot we settle down +somewhere and stay? I get so tired of being always on the wing. Even the +birds have nests to rest in for a little while. Are we never going to +have a home?" + +"Nonsense, child! What do we want with a h-h-home? It is better to be +always on the go. I want my liberty. It suits me best to fly through the +heavens like a hawk or swim the deep sea like a shark. A home would be a +p-p-prison. I should tramp back and forth in it like a polar bear in a +c-c-cage." + +Pepeeta answered with a sigh. + +"Cheer up, child," he cried in his hearty fashion. "Your voice sounds +like the squeak of a mouse! B-b-be gay! Be happy! How can you be sad on +a morning like this? Look at the play of the muscles under the smooth +skins of the horses! Remember the b-b-bright shining dollars that we +coaxed out of the tightly b-b-buttoned breeches pockets of the +gray-backed Q-Q-Quakers. What more do you ask of life? What else can it +g-g-give?" + +"It does not make me happy! I shall never be happy until I have a home," +she said, still sobbing, and trying to conceal the cause of her grief +from herself as well as from her husband. + +Nothing could have astonished the great, well-fed animal by her side +more than this confession. In all his life he had never heaved a sigh. +His contentment was like that of a lion in a forest full of antelopes. +But if he was fierce and cruel to others, he was at least kind to his +mate, and he now put his great paw around her little shoulders and gave +her one of his leonine kisses. + +"You are as melancholy as an unstrung d-d-drum," he said. "I must cheer +you up. How would you like a s-s-song? What shall it be? 'Love's Young +D-D-Dream'? All right. Here g-g-goes." + +And at the word, he opened his great mouth and stuttered it forth in +stentorian tones that went bellowing among the hills like the echoes of +thunder. + +Pepeeta smiled at his kindness and was grateful for his clumsy efforts +at consolation; but they did not dispel her sadness. Her spirits sank +lower and lower. The light seemed to have faded out of the world, and +the streams of joy to have run dry. She sighed again in spite of +herself, and in that sigh exhaled the hope which had sprung from her +heart at the prospects of a new and sweet companionship. + +She had divined the cause of her disappointment with an unerring +instinct. It was exactly as she thought. At the last instant, David's +heart had failed him. + +On the preceding evening, he had hurried through his "chores," excused +himself from giving an account of the adventures of the day on the +ground of fatigue, and retired to his room to cherish in his heart the +memories of that beautiful face and the prospects of the future. He +could not sleep. For hours he tossed on his bed or sat in the window +looking out into the night, and when at last he fell into an uneasy +slumber his dreams were haunted by two faces which struggled ceaselessly +to crowd each other from his mind. One was the young and passionate +countenance of the gypsy, and the other was that of his beautiful mother +with her pale, carven features, her snow-white hair, her pensive and +unearthly expression. They both looked at him, and then gazed at each +other. Now one set below the horizon like a wan, white moon, and the +other rose above it like the glowing star of love. Now the moon passed +over the glowing star in a long eclipse and then disappearing behind a +cloud left the brilliant star to shine alone. + +When he awoke the gray dawn revealed in vague outline the realities of +the world, and warned him that he had but a few moments to execute his +plans. He sprang from his couch strong in his purpose to depart, for the +fever of adventure was still burning in his veins, and the rapturous +looks with which Pepeeta had received his promise to be her companion +still made his pulses bound. He hurriedly put a few things into a bundle +and stole out of the house. + +As he moved quietly but swiftly away from the familiar scenes, his heart +which had been beating so high from hope and excitement began to sink in +his bosom. He had never dreamed of the force of his attachment to this +dear place, and he turned his face toward the old gray house again and +again. Every step away from it seemed more difficult than the last, and +his feet became heavy as lead. But he pressed on, ashamed to +acknowledge his inability to execute his purpose. He came to the last +fence which lay between him and the bridge where he had agreed to await +the adventurers, and then paused. + +He was early. There was still time to reflect. Had the carriage arrived +at that moment he would have gone; but it tarried, and the tide of love +and regret bore him back to the old familiar life. "I cannot go. I +cannot give it up," he murmured to himself. + +Torn by conflicting emotions, inclining to first one course and then +another, he finally turned his face away from the bridge and fled, +impelled by weakness rather than desire. He did not once look back, but +ran at the top of his speed straight to the old barn and hid himself +from sight. There, breathless and miserable, he watched. He had not long +to wait. The dazzling "turn-out" dashed into view. On the high seat he +beheld Pepeeta, saw the eager glance she cast at the farm house, +followed her until they arrived at the bridge, beheld her +disappointment, raved at his own weakness, rushed to the door, halted, +returned, rushed back again, returned, threw himself upon the sweet +smelling hay, cursed his weakness and indecision and finally surrendered +himself to misery. + +From the utter wretchedness of that bitter hour, he was roused by the +ringing of the breakfast bell. Springing to his feet, he hastened to the +spring, bathed his face, assumed a cheerful look and entered the house. + +For the first time in his life he attempted the practice of deception, +and experienced the bitterness of carrying a guilty secret in his bosom. +How he worried through the morning meal and the prayer at the family +altar, he never knew, and he escaped with inexpressible relief to the +stable and the field to take up the duties of his daily life. He found +it plodding work, for the old inspirations to endeavor had utterly +vanished. He who had hitherto found toil a beatitude now moved behind +the plow like a common drudge. + +Tired of the pain which he endured, he tried again and again to forget +the whole experience and to persuade himself that he was glad the +adventure had ended; but he knew in his heart of hearts that he had +failed to follow the gypsy, not because he did not really wish to, but +because he did not wholly dare. The consciousness that he was not only a +bad man but a coward, added a new element to the bitterness of the cup +he was drinking. + +Each succeeding day was a repetition of the first, and became a painful +increment to his load of misery and unrest. The very world in which he +lived seemed to have undergone a transformation. The sunlight had lost +its glory, the flowers had become pale and odorless, the songs of the +birds dull and dispiriting. + +What had really changed was the soul of the young recluse and mystic. +The consciousness of God had vanished from it; the visions of the +spiritual world no longer visited it; he ceased to pray in secret, and +the petitions which he offered at the family altar were so dull and +spiritless as even to excite the observation and comment of his little +nephew. + +"Uncle Dave," remarked that fearless critic, "you pray as if you were +talking down a deep well." + +No wonder that the child observed the fact upon which he alone had +courage to comment, for there is as great a difference between a prayer +issuing from the heart and one merely falling from the lips as between +water gushing from a fountain and rain dripping from a roof. + +Some men pass their lives in the midst of environments where insincerity +would not have been so painful; but in a home and a community where sham +and hypocrisy were almost unknown these perpetual deceptions became more +and more intolerable with every passing hour. Nothing could be more +certain than that in a short time, like some foreign substance in a +healthy body, his nature would force him out of this uncongenial +environment. With some natures the experience would have been a slow and +protracted one, but with him the termination could not be long delayed. + +It came in a tragedy at the close of the next Sabbath. The day had been +dreary, painful and exasperating beyond all endurance, and he felt that +he could never stand the strain of another. And so, having detained his +mother in the sitting room after the rest of the family had retired, he +paced the floor for a few moments, and after several unsuccessful +attempts to introduce the subject gently, said bluntly: + +"Mother, I am chafing myself to death against the limitations of this +narrow life." + +"My son," she said calmly, "this has not come to me as a surprise." + +He moved uneasily and looked as if he would ask her "Why?" + +"Because," she said, as if he had really spoken, "a mother possesses the +power of divination, and can discern the sorrows of her children, by a +suffering in her own bosom." + +The consciousness that he had caused her pain rendered him incapable of +speech, and for a moment they sat in silence. + +"What is thy wish and purpose, my son?" she asked at last, with an +effort which seemed to exhaust her strength. + +"I wish to see the world," he answered, his eye kindling as he spoke. + +This reply, foreseen and expected as it was, sent a shiver through her. +She turned paler, if possible, than before; but summoning all the powers +of self-control resident in that disciplined spirit, she replied with an +enforced tranquillity: + +"My son, does thee know what this world is which thee fain would see?" + +"I have seen it in my dreams. I have heard its distant voices calling to +me. My spirit chafes to answer their summons. I strain at my anchor +like a great ship caught by the tide." + +"Shall I tell thee what this world of which thee has dreamed such dreams +is really like, my son?" she asked, struggling to maintain her calm. + +"How should thee know?" + +"I have seen it." + +"Thee has seen it? I thought that thee had passed thy entire life among +the Quakers," he answered with surprise. + +"I say that I have seen it. Shall I tell thee what it is?" she resumed, +as if she had not heard him. + +"If thee will," he answered, awed by a strange solemnity in her manner. + +Her quick respirations had become audible. Small but intensely red spots +were burning on either cheek. Her white hands trembled as they clutched +the arms of the old rocking chair in which she sat. + +"I will!" she said, regarding him with a look which seemed to devour him +with yearning love. "This world whose voices thee hears calling is a +fiction of thine own brain. That which thee thinks thee beholds of glory +and beauty thee hast conjured up from the depths of a youthful and +disordered fancy, and projected into an unreal realm. That world which +thee has thus beheld in thy dreams will burst like a pin-pricked bubble +when thee tries to enter it. It is not the real world, my son. How shall +I tell thee what that real world is? It is a snare, a pit-fall. It is a +flame into which young moths are ever plunging. It promises, only to +deceive; it beckons, only to betray; its smiles are ambushes; it is +sunlight on the surface, but ice at the heart; it offers life, but it +confers death. I bid thee fear it, shun it, hate it!" + +She leaned far forward in her chair, and her face upon which the youth +had never seen any other look but that of an almost unearthly calm, was +glowing with excitement and passion. + +"Mother," he exclaimed, "what does thee know of this world, thee who has +passed thy life in lonely places and amongst a quiet people?" + +She rose and paced the floor as if to permit some of her excitement to +escape in physical activity, and pausing before him, said: "My only and +well-beloved son, thee does not know thy mother. A veil has been drawn +over that portion of her life which preceded thy birth, and its secrets +are hidden in her own heart. She has prayed God that she might never +have to bring them forth into the light; but he has imposed upon her the +necessity of opening the grave in which they are buried, in order that, +seeing them, thee may abandon thy desires to taste those pleasures which +once lured thy mother along the flower-strewn pathway to her sin and +sorrow." + +Her solemnity and her suffering produced in the bosom of her son a +nameless fear. He could not speak. He could only look and listen. + +"Thee sees before thee," she continued, "the faded form and features of +a woman once young and beautiful. Can thee believe it?" + +He did not answer, for she had seemed to him as mothers always do to +children, to have been always what he had found her upon awakening to +consciousness. He could not remember when her hair was not gray. + +Something in her manner revealed to the startled soul of the young +Quaker that he was about to come upon a discovery that would shake the +very foundation of his life; for a moment he could not speak. + +The silence in which she awaited the answer to her question became +profound and in it the ticking of the old clock sounded like the blows +of a blacksmith's hammer, the purring of the cat like the roar of +machinery, and the beating of his heart like the dull thud of a +battering ram. + +As if reading his inmost thoughts, the white-faced woman said: "And so +thee thought that I was always old and gray?" + +As she uttered these words in a tone of indescribable sadness, a faint +smile played around the corners of her mouth--such a marble smile as +might have appeared upon the face of Niobe. In an instant more it had +composed itself into its former sadness, as a sheet of pure water +resumes its calmness, after having been lightly stirred by a summer +wind. + +So long did she stand regarding him with looks of unutterable love that +he could not endure the strain of the withheld secret, but exclaimed +hoarsely: "Go on! Mother, for God's sake, go on! If thee has something +to disclose, reveal it at once!" + +It seemed impossible for her to speak. The opening of the secrets of +her heart to God before the bar of judgment could have cost her no +greater effort than this confession to her son. + +"David," she said, in a voice that sounded like an echo of a long-dead +past, "the fear that the sins of thy parents should be visited upon thee +has tormented every hour of my life. I have watched thee and prayed for +thee as no one but a mother who has drunk the bitter cup to its dregs +could ever do. I have trembled at every childish sin. In every little +fault I have beheld a miniature of the vices of thy mother and thy +father--thy father! Oh! David, my son--my son!" + +The white lips parted, but no sound issued from them. She raised her +white hand and clutched at her throat as if choking. Then she trembled, +gasped, reeled, and fell forward into his arms. + +In a moment more, the agitated heart had ceased to beat, and the secret +of her life was hidden in its mysterious silence. The sudden, +inexplicable and calamitous nature of this event came near unsettling +the mental balance of the sensitive and highly organized youth. Coming +as it did upon the very heels of the experiences which had so thoroughly +shaken his faith in the old life, he felt himself to be the target for +every arrow in the quiver of misfortune. + +He seemed to himself not so much like a boat that had sprung a single +leak, as like one out of which every nail had been pulled and the joints +left open to the inrushing waters. + +Into the unfilled gap in his mother's narrative, ten thousand suspicions +crept, each displacing the other and leaving him more and more in +darkness and in dread with regard to the origin of his own life. +Wherever he went and whatever he did these confused suspicions resounded +in his ears like the murmur in a seashell. + +He did not dare communicate this story even to his sister; for if she +knew nothing he feared to poison her existence by telling her, and if +she knew all he had not the courage to listen to the sequel. Perhaps no +other experience in life produces a more profound shock than a discovery +like that upon which David had so suddenly stumbled. It leads to despair +or to melancholy, and many a life of highest promise has been suddenly +wrecked by it. While he brooded over this mystery the days slipped past +the young mystic almost unnoted; he wandered about the farm, passing +from one fit of abstraction into another, doing nothing, saying nothing, +thinking everything. + +The world was shrouded in a gloom through whose shifting mists a single +star shone now and then, emitting a brilliant and dazzling ray. It was +the figure of a gypsy. + +In his heavy, aching heart thoughts of her alone aroused an emotion of +joy. As other objects lost their power to attract or charm, she more and +more filled all his horizon. + +Her name was whispered by each passing breeze. It was syllabled by every +singing bird. The old clock ticked it on the stairway. The hoofs of his +horse which he rode recklessly over the country uttered it to the hard +roads on which they fell--"Pepeeta, Pepeeta, Pepeeta." + +Whenever he really tried to banish the temptations which haunted his +soul, they always returned to the swept and garnished chamber bringing +with them seven spirits worse than themselves. + +He tried to look forward to the future with hope. But how can a man hope +for harvests, when all his seed corn has been destroyed? If his father +was bad, what hope was there that he could be better? + +He made innumerable resolves to take up the duties of life where he had +laid them down, but they were all like birds which die in the nest where +they are born. + +Pepeeta was drawing him irresistibly to herself; he was like a man in +the outer circle of a vortex, of which she was the center. The touch of +her soft hand which he could still feel, the farewell glance of eyes +which still glowed before his imagination, attracted him like a powerful +magnet. It was true that he did not know where she was; but he felt that +he could find her in the uttermost parts of the earth by yielding +himself to the impulse which she had awakened in his heart. + +"A dark veil of mystery hangs over my past. My present is full of misery +and unrest. I will see if the future has any joys in store for me," he +said to himself at the close of one of his restless days. + +Without so much as a word of farewell, he crept out of the house in the +gathering dusk, and started in pursuit of the bright object that floated +like a will-o'-the-wisp before his inner eye. + +A feeling of exultation and relief seized him as he left the place made +dark and dreadful by the memory of that tragic scene through which he +had so recently passed; the quiet of the evening soothed his perturbed +spirits, and the tranquil stars looked down upon him with eyes that +twinkled as if in sympathy. + +It is an old tradition of the monks, that when the sap begins to run in +the vines on sunny slopes, a revolt and discontent thrills in the +bottles imprisoned in the darkness of the wine vaults. Such a discontent +and fever had been thrilling in David's veins during these warm spring +days, when the whole world had been in a ferment of life, and he had +been bottled up in the gloom and narrowness of the little country +village; and yielding himself to the emotions that seethed in his +breast, he broke all the tender ties of the past and went blindly into +the future. + +He had been suddenly fascinated by a beautiful woman and bewildered by +an unscrupulous man; he had felt the foundations of his religious faith +shaken, and discovered that his own life had sprung from an illicit +passion. These are violent blows, and many a man has gone down before a +single one of them. If the blows had been delivered singly at long +intervals he might have survived the shock; but following each other in +swift succession like great tidal waves they had literally swept him +from his moorings. + +Such collapses fill us with horror and questioning. How do they come +about? Can they be prevented? These are the deepest problems of life, +and our psychology is still impotent to solve them. We can detect and +measure the dross in metals or the poison in drugs; but we have no +solvent that will reduce a complex nature like David's into its original +elements and enable us to differentiate a son's responsibility from that +of his father. + +We make bold guesses and confident affirmations as to the comparative +influence of heredity and environment. We enter into learned +disputations as to the blessing or the bane of an education such as his. +But every such case is still a profound and insoluble mystery. The most +comprehensive laws and the most careful generalizations meet with too +many exceptions to enable us to form a science. The children of the good +are too often bad and the children of the bad too often good to permit +us to dogmatize about heredity. We learn as our experience deepens and +our horizon widens to regard such collapses with a compassionate +sympathy and a humbled consciousness of our own unfitness to judge and +condemn. Whether we create our individuality or only bring it to +light--is the question that makes us stumble! But while we move in the +midst of uncertainties in this realm, there is another in which we walk +in the glare of noonday. We know beyond the peradventure of a doubt +that whatever may be the origin of such weakness as that of the young +mystic, the results are always inevitable! Nature never asks any +questions nor makes any allowances. To her mind, sin is sin! Whatsoever +a man sows--that shall he also reap. Whether he yield to evil +voluntarily or be driven into it by resistless force; whether he sin +because of a self-originating propensity or because his father sinned +before him, is all one to those resistless executors of Nature's law, +sickness, sorrow, disaster, death! + +No man ever defeated Nature! No man ever will! From the instant when he +turned his back upon his home, David's fate was sealed. He was playing +against a certainty and he knew it. But he ought to have remembered it! +It was of this that he ought to have been thinking, and not of the +gypsy's eyes! + +Sometimes such men escape from the final catastrophe of the long series; +but not from the intermediate lashings! + +This brutal, idiotic step of Corson's looks like a final plunge; a fatal +fall; a hopeless retrogression. But we must not judge prematurely. "Man +advances; but in spiral lines," said Goethe. The river goes forward, in +spite of its eddies. You can complete a geometric circle from a minute +portion of its curve; but not a human cycle. We can not predict the +final issue of a human life until the last sigh is drawn. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +THE FLESH AND THE DEVIL + + "To tell men they cannot help themselves is to fling them into + recklessness and despair."--Froude. + + +Although David did not know the exact route the quack had laid out for +his journey, he was certain that it would be easy enough to trace him in +that sparsely-settled region, and so he turned his face in the direction +in which the equipage vanished when he watched it from the barn. His +movements did not seem to come from his own volition but to originate in +something external. He had a sense of yielding to necessity. There are +heroic moments in our lives, when that subtle force we call our "will" +demonstrates, or at all events persuades us, that we are "_free_." There +are others, like those through which the young adventurer was now +passing, when we experience a feeling of utter helplessness amidst +cosmic forces and believe ourselves to be straws in a mighty wind or +ill-fated stars borne along a predestined orbit. + +Surrendering himself to the current of events, the recalcitrant Quaker +escaped for a time the painful consciousness of personal responsibility. + +The tranquil stars above him seemed to look down upon the wanderer in +silent approval. The night birds chanted their congratulations from the +tree tops, and reading his own thoughts into their songs he imagined he +heard them saying, "Let each one find his mate; let each one find his +mate." + +The cool night breeze caressed and kissed him as it hurried by on silent +wings, and for an hour or two he tramped along with a peace in his heart +which seemed to be a reflection from the outside world. + +But gradually a change came over the face of nature, and this, too, +reflected itself in the mirror of his soul. + +In the heavens above him the clouds commenced to gather like hostile +armies. They skirmished, sent out their flying battalions and then fell +upon each other in irresistible fury. Great, jagged flashes of +lightning, like sword thrusts from gigantic and hidden hands rent the +sky; wild crashes of thunder pealed through the reverberating dome of +heaven; the rain fell in torrents; the elements of nature seemed to have +evaded their master, vaulted their barriers and precipitated themselves +in a furious struggle. + +The lonely pilgrim perceived the resemblance which his conflicting +emotions bore to this wild scene, and smiled grimly. He found in all +this tumult a justification for the tempest in his soul. + +It was not until the light of morning struggled through this universal +gloom, that the weary and bedraggled traveler entered the outskirts of +the then straggling but growing and busy village of Hamilton. Tired in +body and benumbed in mind, he made his way to the hotel, conscious only +of his desire and determination to look once more upon the face of the +woman whose image was so indelibly impressed upon his mind. + +Approaching the desk he nervously asked if the doctor was among the +guests, flushed at the answer, demanded a room, ascended the steep +staircase, and was soon in bed and asleep. Fatigued by his long tramp, +he did not awaken until after noon, and then, having bathed, dressed and +broken his long fast, he knocked at the door of the room occupied by the +doctor and his wife. + +There was a quick but gentle step in answer to his summons, and at the +music of that footfall his heart beat tumultuously. The door opened, and +before him stood the woman who had brought about this mysterious train +of events in his life. + +She started back as she saw him, with an involuntary and timid motion, +but so great was her surprise and joy that she could not control her +speech or action sufficiently to greet him. + +"Who is there?" cried the doctor, in his loud, imperative voice. + +"Mr. Corson," she answered in tones that were scarcely audible. + +"Corson? Who the d-d-deuce is Corson, and what the deuce does he want?" +he asked, rising and approaching the door. + +The instant his eyes fell on the countenance of the Quaker, he threw up +both hands and uttered a prolonged whistle of astonishment. + +"The preacher!" he exclaimed. "The lost is found. The p-p-prodigal has +returned. Come in, and let us k-k-kill the fatted calf!" + +Coarse as the welcome was, it was full of sincerity, and its heartiness +was like balm to the wounded spirit of the youth. He grasped the +extended hand and permitted himself to be drawn into the room. + +Pepeeta, who had recovered from the first shock of surprise and delight, +came forward and greeted him with a shy reserve. She gave him her hand, +and its gentle touch reanimated his soul. She smiled at him,--a gracious +smile, and its light illumined the darkness of his heart. His sadness +vanished. He once more felt an emotion of joy. + +The excitement of their meeting having subsided they seated themselves, +David in an easy chair, the doctor on the broad couch, and Pepeeta on a +little ottoman at his feet. Vivid green curtains partially obscured the +bright sunshine which beat upon the windows. The wall-paper was cheap, +vulgar, faded. On the floor was an old ingrain carpet full of patches +and spattered with ink stains. A blue-bottle fly buzzed and butted his +head against the walls, and through the open casement hummed the traffic +of the busy little town. + +Nothing could have been more expressive of triumph and delight than the +face of the quack. Whenever his feelings were particularly bland and +expansive, he had a way of taking the ends of his enormous moustache and +twirling them between his spatulate thumbs and fingers. He did this +now, and twisted them until the coarse hairs could be heard grating +against each other. + +"Well, well!" he said, "so you could not resist the temptation? Ha! ha! +ha! No wonder! It's not every young fellow behind the p-p-plow-tail that +has a fortune thrust under his nose. Shows your g-g-good sense. I was +right. I always am. I knew you were too bright a man to hide your light +under a half b-b-bushel of a village like that. In those seven-by-nine +towns, all the sap dries out of men, and before they are forty they +begin to rattle around like peas in a p-p-pod. In such places young men +are never anything but milk sops, and old men anything but +b-b-bald-headed infants! You needed to see the world, young man. You +required a teacher. You have put yourself into good hands, and if you +stay with me you shall wear d-d-diamonds." + +"Whatever the results may be, I have determined to make the experiment," +said David, shrugging his shoulders. + +"Right you are. But what b-b-brought you round? You were as stiff as a +ramrod when I left you." + +"Circumstances over which I had no control, and which I want to forget +as soon as possible. My old life has ended and I have come to seek a new +one." + +"A new life? That's good. Well--we will show it to you, P-P-Pepeeta and +I! We will show you." + +"The sooner the better. What am I to do?" + +"Not too fast! There are times when it is better to g-g-go slow, as the +snail said to the lightning. We must make a b-b-bargain." + +"Make it to suit yourself." + +"You d-d-don't expect me to stick to my old offer, I reckon. When I made +it, Mahomet went to the m-m-mountain, and now the mountain comes to +Mahomet; see?" + +"Do as you please, I am in no mood to split hairs, nor pennies. All I +ask is a chance to put my foot upon the first round of the ladder and if +I do not get to the top, I shall not hold you responsible," David +replied, dropping the "thees" of his Quaker life, in his determination +to divest himself of all its customs as rapidly as he could. + +"Hi! hi! There's fire in the flint! Good thing! you don't want to split +pennies! Well, if you d-d-don't, I don't. You take me on the right side, +D-D-Davy. I'll do the square thing by you--see if I d-d-don't. Let's +have a drink. Bring the bottle, Pepeeta!" + +She went to the mantel and returned with a flask and two glasses. The +quack filled them both and passed one to David. It was the first time in +his life that he had ever even smelt an intoxicant. He recoiled a +little; but having committed himself to his new life, he determined to +accept all that it involved. He lifted the fiery potion to his lips, and +drank. + +"Hot, is it, my son?" cried the doctor, laughing uproariously at his +wry face. "You Quakers drink too much water! Freezes inside of you and +t-t-turns you into what you might call two-p-p-pronged icicles. Give me +men with red blood in their veins! And there's nothing makes b-b-blood +red like strong liquors!" + +The whisky revived the courage and loosened the tongue of the youth. The +repugnance which he had instinctively felt for the vulgar quack began to +mellow into admiration. He asked and answered many questions. + +"What part am I to take in this business?" he asked. + +"What part are you to take in the business? That's good, 'Never put off +till to-morrow what you can d-d-do to-day.' 'Business first and then +pleasure.' 'The soul of business is dispatch.' These are good mottoes, +my lad. I learned them from the wise men; but if I had not learned them, +I should have invented them. What's your p-p-part of the business, says +you; listen! You are to be its m-m-mouth-piece. That tongue of yours +must wag like the tail of a d-d-dog; turn like a weather-vane; hiss like +a serpent, drip with honey and poison, be tipped with p-p-persuasion; +tell ten thousand t-t-tales, and every tale must sell a bottle of +p-p-panacea!" + +He paused, and looked rapturously upon the face of his pupil. + +"This panacea--has it merits? Will it really cure?" asked David. + +The doctor laughed long and loud. + +"Has it merits? Will it really cure? Ho! ho! 'Is thy bite good for the +b-b-backache?' said the sick mouse to the cat. What difference does it +make whether it will cure or not? Success in b-b-business is not based +upon the quality of the m-m-merchandise, my son." + +"Upon what, then?" said David. + +"Upon the follies, the weaknesses and the p-p-passions of mankind! Since +time began, a universal panacea' has been a sure source of wealth. It +makes no difference what the panacea is, if you only have the b-b-brains +to fool the people. There are only two kinds of people in the world, my +son--the fools and f-f-foolers!" + +Even whisky could not make David listen to this cold-blooded avowal +without a shudder. + +The keen eye of the quack detected it; but instead of adulterating his +philosophy, he doubled his dose. + +"Shocks you, does it? You will g-g-get over that. We are not angels! we +are only men. Remember what old Jack Falstaff said? 'If Adam fell in a +state, of innocency, what shall I d-d-do in a state of villainy?'" + +The boldness of the man and the radicalness of his philosophy dazzled +and fascinated the inexperienced youth. + +This was what the astute and unscrupulous instructor expected, and he +determined to pursue his advantage and effect, if possible, the complete +corruption of his pupil in a single lesson; and so he continued: + +"Got to live, my son! Self-p-p-preservation is the first law, and so we +must imitate the rest of the b-b-brute creation, and live off of each +other! The big ones must feed upon the little and the strong upon the +weak. 'Every man for himself and the d-d-devil take the hindmost!' +That's my religion." + +"You may be right," said David, "but I cannot say that I take to it +kindly. I do not see how a man can practice this cruelty and injustice +without suffering." + +"Suffering! Idea of suffering is greatly exaggerated. Ever watch a +t-t-toad that was being swallowed by a snake? Looks as if he positively +enjoyed it. It's his mission. Born to be eaten! If there was as much +pain in the world as p-p-people say, do you think anybody could endure +it! Isn't the d-d-door always open? Can't a man quit when he wants to? +Suffering! Pshaw! Do I look as if I suffered? Does Pepeeta look as if +she suffered? And yet she b-b-bamboozles them worse than I do." + +The head of the gypsy bent lower and lower over her crocheting. + +"She plays upon them like a fife! They d-d-dance when she whistles! Next +to wanting a universal panacea for pain, the idiots want a knowledge of +the future! Everybody but me wants to know what kind of a to-morrow God +Almighty has made for him. I make my own to-morrows! I don't ask to +have my destiny made up for me like a t-t-tailor coat. I make my own +destiny. If things d-d-don't come my way, I just pull them! People talk +about 'following Providence!' I follow Providence as an Irishman follows +his wheel-barrow. I shove it! See? But that is not the way of the rest +of them, thank Fortune! And so Pepeeta gathers them in! Strange fish +g-g-get into her net, Davy. Back there in your own little t-t-town she +caught some of your long-faced old Quakers, b-b-big fellows with +broad-brimmed hats, drab coats and ox eyes, regular meetin'-goers! And +there was that little d-d-dove-eyed girl. What was it she wanted to +know, P-P-Pepeeta? Tell him. Ha! ha! Tell him and we will see him +b-b-blush." + +"She asked me if her father was going to send her to Philadelphia this +winter," she answered, without lifting her eyes. + +"I don't mean that!" + +"She asked me whether I could tell them where to find the spotted +heifer." + +"The d-d-deuce, child! Why don't you tell me what she asked you 'bout +D-D-Davy?" + +"It is time for us to go to supper or we shall be late," she replied, +laying aside her work and rising. + +"Sure enough!" cried the doctor, springing to his feet. "The Q-Q-Quaker +has knocked everything out of my head. Come on!" + +He rose and began bustling about the room. + +When Pepeeta glanced up from her work she saw in David's eye a grateful +appreciation of her courtesy and tact, and his look filled her with a +new happiness. + +The disgust awakened in the Quaker's mind by the coarseness of the quack +was more than offset by the beauty and grace of the gypsy. When he +looked at her, when he was even conscious of her presence, he felt a +happiness which compensated for all that he had suffered or lost. He did +not stop to ask what its nature was. He had cast discretion to the +winds. He had in these few hours since his departure broken so utterly +with the past that he was like a man who had been suddenly awakened from +a long lapse of memory. His old life was as if it had never been. He +felt himself to be in a vacuum, where all his ideas must be newly +created. This epoch of his experience was superimposed upon the other +like a different geological formation. Like the old monks in their +cells, he was deliberately trying to erase from the parchment of his +soul all that had been previously written, in order that he might begin +a new life history. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THE MOTH AND THE FLAME + + "Misled by Fancy's meteor-ray + By passion driven: + But yet the light that led astray + Was light from heaven." + + --Burns. + + +A little before dusk the three companions started upon their evening's +business. The horses and carriage were waiting at the door and they +mounted to their seats. David was embarrassed by the novelty of the +situation, and Pepeeta by his presence; but the quack was in his highest +spirits. He saluted the bystanders with easy familiarity, ostentatiously +flung the hostler a coin, flourished his whip and excited universal +admiration for his driving. + +During the turn which they took around the city for an advertisement, he +indoctrinated his pupil with the principles of his art. + +"People to-day are just what they were centuries ago. G-g-gull 'em just +as easy. Make 'em think the moon is made of g-g-green cheese--way to +catch larks is to p-p-pull the heavens down--extract sunbeams from +c-c-cucumbers and all the rest! There's one master-weakness, Davy. They +all think they are sick, or if they d-d-don't, you can make 'em!" + +"What! Make a well man think he is sick?" the Quaker asked in +astonishment. + +"Sure! That's the secret of success. I can pick out the strongest man in +the c-c-crowd and in five minutes have pains shooting through him like +g-g-greased lightning. They are all like jumping-jacks to the man that +knows them. You watch me pull the string and you-you'll see them +wig-wig-wiggle." + +"It seems a pity to take advantage of such weakness in our fellow men," +said David, whose heart began to suffer qualms as he contemplated this +rascality and his own connection with it. + +"Fellow men! They are no fellows of mine. They are nuts for me to +c-c-crack. They are oysters for me to open!" responded the quack, as he +drove gaily into the public square and checked the horses, who stood +with their proud necks arched, champing their bits and looking around at +the crowd as if they shared their master's contempt. + +Pepeeta descended from the carriage and made her way hastily into the +tent which had already been pitched for her. The doctor lighted his +torch and set his stock of goods in order while David, obeying his +directions, began to move among the people to study their habits. +Elbowing his way here and there, he contemplated the crowd in the light +of the quack's philosophy, and as he did so received a series of painful +mental shocks. + +"The first principle in the art of painting a picture is to know where +to sit down;" in other words, everything depends upon the point of view. +Now that David began to look for evidences of the weaknesses and +follies of his fellow men, he saw them everywhere. For the first time in +his life he observed that startling prevalence of animal types which +always communicates such a shock to the mind of him who has never +discovered it before. Every countenance suddenly seemed to be the face +of a beast, but thinly and imperfectly veiled. There were foxes and +tigers and wolves, there were bulldogs and monkeys and swine. He had +always seen, or thought he saw, upon the foreheads of his fellow men +some evidence of that divinity which had been communicated to them when +God breathed into the great first father the breath of life; but now he +shuddered at the sight of those thick lips and drooping jaws, those dull +or crafty eyes, those sullen, sodden, gargoyle features, as men do at +beholding monstrosities. + +A few weeks ago he would have felt a profound pity at this discovery, +but so rapid and radical had been the alteration in his feelings that he +was now seized by a sudden revulsion and contempt. "Are these creatures +really men?" he asked himself. He stood there among them taller, +straighter, keener, handsomer than them all, and the old feelings that +have made men aristocrats and tyrants in every age of the world, surged +in his heart and hardened it against them. + +By this time the quack had finished his few simple preparations, and, +standing erect before his audience, began the business of the evening. + +Having observed the habits of the game, David now chose a favorable +position to study those of the hunter. He watched with an almost +breathless interest every expression upon that sinister face and +listened with a boundless interest to every word that fell from those +treacherous lips. + +He was not long in justifying the quack's honest criticism of his own +oratory. His voice lacked the vibrant tones of a musical instrument and +his rhetoric that fluency, without which the highest effects of +eloquence can never be attained. By speaking very slowly and +deliberately he avoided stammering, but this always acted like a +dragging anchor upon the movement of his thought. These were radical +defects, but in every other respect he was a consummate artist. He +arrested the attention of his hearers with an inimitable skill and held +it with an irresistible power. + +His piercing eye noted every expression on the faces of his hearers, and +seemed to read the inmost secrets of their hearts. He perceived the +slightest inclination to purchase, and was as keen to see a hand steal +towards a pocket-book as a cat to see a mouse steal out of its hole. + +He coaxed, he wheedled, he bantered, he abused,--he even threatened. He +fulfilled his promise to the letter, "to make the well men think that +they were sick," and many a stalwart frontiersman whose body was as +sound as an ox, began to be conscious of racking pains. + +Nor were those legitimate arts of oratory the only ones which this +arch-knave practiced. + +"I gave you two dollars, and you only gave me change for one," cried a +thin-faced, stoop-shouldered, helpless-looking fellow, who had just +purchased a bottle of the "Balm of the Blessed Islands." + +With lightning-like legerdemain the quack had shuffled this bill to the +bottom of his pile, and lifting up the one that lay on top, exposed it +to the view of his audience. + +"That's a lie!" he said, in his slow, impressive manner. "There is +always such a man as this in every crowd. Some one is always trying to +take advantage of those who, like myself, are living for the public +good. Gentlemen, you saw me lay the b-b-bill he gave me down upon the +top! Here it is; judge for yourselves. That is a bad man! Beware of +him!" + +The bold effrontery of the quack silenced the timid customer, who could +only blush and look confused. His blushes and confusion condemned him +and the crowd hustled him away from the wagon. They believed him guilty +and he half believed it of himself. + +David, who had seen the bill and knew the victim's innocence but not the +doctor's fraud, pressed forward to defend him. The quack stopped and +silenced him with an inimitable wink, and then instantly and with +consummate art diverted his auditors with a series of droll stories +which he always reserved for emergencies like this. They were old and +thread-bare, but this was the reason he chose them. He had one for +every circumstance and occasion. + +There was a man standing in an outer circle of the crowd around whose +forehead was a bandage. "Come here, my friend," said the quack. "How did +you get this wound? Don't want to tell? Oh! well, that is natural. A +horse kicked him, no doubt; never got it in a row! No! No! Couldn't any +one hit him! Reminds me of the man who saw a big black-and-blue spot on +his boy's forehead. 'My son,' said he, 'I thought I told you not to +fight? How did you get this wound?' 'I bit it, father,' replied the boy. + +"'Bit it!' exclaimed the old man in astonishment, 'how could you bite +yourself upon the forehead?' + +"'I climbed onto a chair,' says he. + +"And have you been climbing on a chair to bite your forehead, too, my +friend?" he asked with humorous gravity, while a loud guffaw went up +from the crowd. + +"Well," he continued soothingly, "whether you did it or not, just let me +rub a little of this b-b-balm upon it, and by to-morrow morning it will +be well. There! that's right. One dollar is all it costs. You don't want +it? What the d-d-deuce did you let me open the b-b-bottle for? I'll +leave it to the crowd if that is fair? There, that is right. Pay for it +like a man. It's worth double its price. Thank you. By to-morrow noon +you will b-b-be sending me a testimonial to its value. Do you want to +hear some of my testimonials, gentlemen?" + +The crowd shuffled and stood over on its other foot. The doctor, putting +an enormous pair of spectacles upon his nose, took up a piece of paper +and pretended to read slowly and carefully to avoid stammering: + +"'Dr. Aesculapius. + +"'Dear Sir: I was wounded in the Mexican war. I have been unable to walk +without crutches for many years; but after using your liniment, I ran +for office!' Think of it, gentlemen, the day of miracles has not passed. +'I lost my eyesight four years ago, but used a bottle of your "wash" and +saw wood.' Saw wood, gentlemen, what do you think of that? He saw wood! +'Some time ago I lost the use of both arms; but a kind friend furnished +me with a box of your pills, and the next day I struck a man for ten +dollars.' There is a triumph of the medical art, my friends. And yet +even this is surpassed by the following: 'I had been deaf for many +years, stone deaf; but after using your ointment, I heard that my aunt +had died and left me ten thousand dollars.' Think of it, gentlemen, ten +thousand dollars! And a written guarantee goes with every bottle, that +the first thing a stone-deaf man will hear after using this medicine +will be that his aunt has died and left him ten thousand dollars." + +During all these varied operations, David had never taken his eyes from +the face of the quack. Even his quick wit had often been baffled by the +almost superhuman adroitness of this past grandmaster of his art. + +The novelty of the scene, the skill of the principal actor, the rapid +growth of the piles of coin and bills, the frantic desire of the people +to be gulled, all served to obscure those elements which were calculated +to appeal to the Quaker's conscience. He felt like one awakened from a +dream. While he was still in the half dazed condition of such an +awakening, the quack gave him a sign that this part of his lesson was +ended, and following the direction of the thumb which he threw over his +shoulder towards Pepeeta's tent, he eagerly took his way thither. + +Before the door stood several groups of young men and maidens, talking +under their breath as if in the presence of some august deity. Now and +then a couple disentangled itself from the crowd, and with visible +trepidation entered. As they reappeared, their friends gathered about +them and besought them to disclose the secrets they had discovered. + +Some of them giggled and simpered, others laughed boisterously and +skeptically, while others still, looked scared and anxious. It was +evident that even those who tried to make light of what they had seen +and heard were moved by something awe-inspiring. + +David listened to their silly talk, observed their bold demeanor and +their vulgar manners, while the impression of weakness, of stupidity, of +the lowness and beastiality of humanity made upon his mind by the aged +and the mature, was intensified by his observation of the young and +callow. + +He did not anywhere see a spark of true nobility. He did not hear a word +of wisdom. Everything was moving on a low, material and animal plane. He +felt that manhood and womanhood was not what he had believed it to be. + +From the outside of the gypsy's tent, he could make but few discoveries +of her method; and he waited impatiently until the last curious couple +had departed. When they had disappeared, he entered. + +At the opposite side of the tent and reclining upon a low divan was the +gypsy. Above her head a tallow candle was burning dimly. Before her was +a rough table covered with a shawl, upon which were scattered cups of +tea with floating grounds, ivory dice, cards, coins and other implements +of the "Black Art." + +Pepeeta sprang to her feet when she saw who her visitor was, and +exhibited the clearest signs of agitation. David's own emotions were not +less violent, for although the gypsy's surroundings were poor and mean, +they served rather to enhance than to diminish her exquisite beauty. Her +shoulders and arms were bare, and on her wrists were gold bracelets of +writhing serpents in whose eyes gleamed diamonds. On her fingers and in +her ears were other costly stones. Her dress was silk, and rustled when +she moved, with soft and sibilant sounds. + +"The doctor has sent me here to study the methods by which you do your +work," said David approaching the table and gazing at her with +undisguised admiration. + +"You should have come before. How can you study my methods when I am not +practicing them? And any way, you have no faith in them. Have you? I +always had until I heard your sermon in the little meeting house." + +"And have you lost it now?" + +"It has been sadly shaken." + +"You can at least show me how you practice the art, even if you have +lost your faith in it. I too have lost a faith; but we must live. What +are these cards for?" + +"If you wish me to show you, you may shuffle and cut them, but I would +rather tell your fortune by your hand, for I have more faith in +palmistry than in cards." + +He extended his hand; she took it, and with her right forefinger began +to trace the lines. Her gaze had that intensity with which a little +child peers into the mechanism of a watch or an astronomer into the +depths of space. + +A thrill of emotion shot through the frame of the Quaker at the touch of +those delicate and beautiful fingers. + +The contrast between his own hands and hers was marked enough to be +almost ridiculous. Hers were tiny, soft and white. His were large, brown +and calloused. He thought to himself, "It is as if two little white +mice were playing about an enormous trap which in a moment may seize +them." + +Neither of them, spoke. The delicate finger of the gypsy moved over the +lines of the palm like that of a little school-girl over the pages of a +primer. They did not realize how dangerous was that proximity, nor how +fatal that touch. Through those two poles of Nature's most powerful +battery, the magnetic and mysterious current of love was passing. + +"What do you see?" said David, at last. + +"Shall I tell you?" she asked, lifting her eyes to his. + +"If you please," he said. + +"I will do so if you wish; but if the story of your life is really +written in the palm of your hands, it is sad indeed, and you would be +happier if you knew it not." + +"But it is not written there. I do not believe it, nor do you." + +"Let us hope that it is not," she answered, and began the following +monologue in a low musical monotone: + +"Marked as it is with the signs of toil, this hand has still retained +all those characteristics that an artist would choose as a model. It is +perfect in its form. The palm is of medium size, the fingers without +knots, the third phalanges are all long and pointed, and the thumb is +beautifully shaped. Whoever possesses a hand like this must be guided by +ideals. He is a worshiper of the sublime and beautiful. He disdains +small achievements, embarks enthusiastically upon forlorn hopes, and is +spurred to victory by the fervor of his desires. + +"See this thumb! How finely it is pointed. The first phalanx is short, +and indicates that above all other things he is a man of heart and will +be dominated by his affections. He will yield to temptations, perhaps; +but the second phalanx is long and reveals a power of reason and logic +which will probably triumph at last." + +Not a single word of all this had David heard. Her voice sounded to him +like the low droning of bees in a meadow, and he had been watching the +movements of her fingers, as he used to watch the dartings of the +minnows in the pools of the brook which ran through his farm. + +"How smooth the fingers are! And how they taper to the cone," continued +Pepeeta. "Here is this one of Jupiter, for example. How plainly it tells +of religiousness and perhaps of fanaticism! The Sun finger is not long. +Nay, it is not long enough. There is too little love of glory here. And +the Saturnian finger is too long. The life is too much under the +dominion of Fate or Destiny. The Mercurial finger is short. He will be +firm in his friendships. The moons all correspond. They, also, are too +large. The Mount of Venus, here at the base of the thumb, is excessively +developed, and indicates capacity for gentleness, for chivalry, for +tenderness and love. The Mount of the Moon is small. That is good. There +will be no disturbance of the brain, no propensity towards lunacy. Mars +is not excessive, but it is strong, and he will be bold and courageous, +but not quarrelsome." + +The pleasant murmur of the voice, the gentle pressure of her hand, her +nearness and her beauty, had rendered the Quaker absolutely oblivious to +her words. + +"Let me now examine the lines," she continued. "Here is the line of the +heart. It passes clear across the palm. It is well marked at every point +and is most pronounced upon the upper side. The love will not be a +sensual passion, but look! it is joined to the head below the finger of +Saturn. It is the sign of a violent death! Heavens!" + +As she uttered this exclamation, she pressed the hand convulsively +between her own, and looked up into his face. + +The involuntary and sudden action recalled him to his consciousness. +"What did you say?" he asked. + +"Have you not been listening?" she replied, repressing both her anxiety +and her annoyance. + +"No; was it a good story or a bad one which you were reading?" + +"It was both." + +"Well--it is no matter, those accidental marks can have no +significance." + +"Do you think so?" + +"I am sure." + +"You do not believe in any signs?" + +"None." + +"You know that the traveler on the desert told the Bedouin that he did +not, and yet from the foot prints of the camels the Bedouin deciphered +the whole history of a caravan." + +Astonished at her reply, David did not answer. + +"And then, you know," she continued, "there are the weather signs." + +"Yes--that is so." + +"And what are the letters of a book but signs?" + +"You are right again." + +"And is not hardness a sign of something in a stone, and heat of +something in fire? And are not deeds the sign of some quality in a man's +soul, and the expressions of his face signs of emotions of his heart?" + +"They are." + +"So that by his gait and gestures each man says: 'I am a farmer--a +quack--a Quaker--a soldier--a priest'?" + +"This, too, is true." + +"Why, then, should not the character and destiny of the man disclose +itself in signs and marks upon his hands?" + +David was too much astonished by these words to answer. They revealed a +mental power which he had not even suspected her of possessing. He +discovered that while she was as ignorant as a child in the realms of +thought to which she had been unaccustomed, in her sphere of experience +and reflection she was both shrewd and deep. + +"You have thought much about this matter," he said. + +"Too much, perhaps." + +"It is deeper than I knew." + +"And so is everything deeper than we know. Tell me, if you can, why it +is that having met you I have lost faith in my art, and having met me +you have lost faith in your religion." + +"It is strange." + +"Something must be true. Do you not think so?" + +"I have begun to doubt it." + +"I believe that what _you_ said is true." + +As they stood thus confronting each other, they would have presented a +study of equal interest to the artist or to the philosopher. There was +both a poem and a picture in their attitude. Grace and beauty revealed +themselves on every feature and in every movement. They had arrived at +one of those dramatic points in their life-journey, where all the tragic +elements of existence seem to converge. Agitated by incomprehensible and +delicious emotions, confronting insoluble problems, longing, hoping, +fearing, they hovered over the ocean of life like two tiny sparrows +swept out to sea by a tempest. + +The familiar objects and landmarks had all vanished. As children rise in +the morning to find the chalk lines, inside of which they had played +their game of "hop-scotch," washed out by the rain, they had awakened to +find that the well known pathways and barriers over which and within +which they had been accustomed to move had all been obliterated. They +had nothing to guide them and nothing to restrain them except what was +written in their hearts, and this mysterious hieroglyph they had not yet +learned to decipher. + +They were awakened from their reveries by the footsteps of the quack, +and by his raucous voice summoning them back into the world of realities +from which they had withdrawn so completely. + +"Well, little wife," he said, "how is b-b-business?" + +"Fair," she said, gathering up a double hand-full of change and passing +it over to him indifferently. + +The question fell upon the ears of the Quaker like a thunder bolt. It +was to him the first intimation that Pepeeta was not the daughter of the +quack. "His wife!" The heart of the youth sank in his bosom. Here was a +new and unexpected complication. What should he do? It was too late to +turn back now. The die had been cast, and he must go forward. + +The doctor rattled on with an unceasing flow of talk, while the mind of +the Quaker plunged into a series of violent efforts to adjust itself to +this new situation. He tried to force himself to be glad that he had +been mistaken. He for the first time fully admitted the significance of +the qualms which he felt at permitting himself to regard this strolling +gypsy with such feelings as had been in his heart. + +"But now," he said to himself, "I can go forward with less compunction. +I can gratify my desire for excitement and adventure with perfect +safety. I will stay with them for a while, and when I am tired can leave +them without any entanglements." When the situation had been regarded +for a little while from this point of view, he felt happier and more +care-free than for weeks. He solaced his disappointment with the +reflection that he should still be near Pepeeta, but no longer in any +danger. + +At this profound reflection of the young moth hovering about the flame, +let the satirist dip his pen in acid, and the pessimist in gall! There +is enough folly and stupidity in the operations of the human mind to +provoke the one to contempt and the other to despair. + +The cuttle-fish throws out an inky substance to conceal itself from its +enemies; but the soul ejects an opaque vapor in which to hide from +itself! In this mist of hallucination which rises and envelopes us, the +whole appearance of life alters. Passion and desire repress the judgment +and pervert the conscience. Conclusions that are illogical, expectations +that are irrational and confidences that are groundless to the most +final and fatal absurdity seem as natural and reasonable as intuitions. + +It is not in human nature to escape this perversion of thought and +feeling under the stress of temptation. One may as well try to prevent +the rise of temperature in the blood in the rage of fever. There are +times when even the upright in heart must withdraw to the safe covert +of the inner sanctuary and there fervently put up the master prayer of +the soul, "Lord, lead me not into temptation!" But if necessity or duty +calls them out into the midst of life's dangers, let them remember that +what they feel in the calm retreat, is not what will surge through their +disordered intellects and their bounding pulses when they come within +the reach of those fearful fascinations! + +It was such a prayer that David had need of when he gave his hand to the +gypsy. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +FOUND WANTING + + "How oft the sight of means to do ill deeds makes ill deeds + done!"--King John. + + +The spring and summer had passed, autumn had attained the fullness of +its golden beauty, and the inevitable had happened. David and Pepeeta +had passed swiftly though not unresistingly through all the intervening +stages between a chance acquaintance and an impassioned love. + +Any other husband than the quack would have foreseen this catastrophe; +but there is one thing blinder than love, and that is egotism such as +his. His colossal vanity had not even suspected that a woman who +possessed him for her husband could for a single instant bestow a +thought of interest on any other man. + +Astute student of men, penetrating judge of motive and conduct that he +was, he daily beheld the evolution of a tragedy in which he was the +victim, with all the indifference of a lamb observing the preparations +for its slaughter. Because of this ignorance and indifference, the +fellowship of these two young people had been as intimate as that of +brother and sister in a home, and this new life had wrought an +extraordinary transformation in the habits and character of both. + +David had abandoned the Quaker idiom for the speech of ordinary men, +and discarded his former habiliments for the most conventional and +stylish clothes. Contact with the world had sharpened his native wit, +and given him a freedom among men and women, that was fast descending +into abandon. Success had stimulated his self-confidence and made him +prize those gifts by which he had once aroused the devotion of adoring +worshipers in the Quaker meeting house; he soon found that they could be +used to victimize the crowds which gathered around the flare of the +torch in the public square. + +That which his friends had once dignified by the name of spiritual power +had deteriorated into something but little above animal magnetism. He +had learned to cherish a profound contempt for men and morals, and the +shrewd maxims which the quack had instilled into his mind became the +governing principles of his conduct. Those qualities which he had +inherited from his dissolute father, and which had been so long +submerged, were upheaved, while all that he had received from his mother +by birth and education sank out of sight and memory. Three elemental +passions assumed complete possession of his soul--the love of +admiration, of gambling and of the gypsy. + +A transformation of an exactly opposite character had been taking place +in Pepeeta. Under the sunshine of David's love, and the dew of those +spiritual conceptions which had fallen upon her thirsty spirit, the +seeds of a beautiful nature, implanted at her birth, germinated and +developed with astonishing rapidity. Walking steadily in such light as +fell upon her pathway and ever looking for more, her spiritual vision +became clearer and clearer every day; and while this affection for God +purified her soul, her love for David expanded and transformed her +heart. Her unbounded admiration for him blinded her to that process of +deterioration in his character which even the quack perceived. To her +partial eye a halo still surrounded the head of the young apostate. But +while these two new affections wrought this sudden transformation in the +gypsy and filled her with a new and exquisite happiness, the +circumstances of her life were such that this illumination could not but +be attended with pain, for it brought ever new revelations of those +ethical inconsistencies in which she discovered herself to be deeply if +not hopelessly involved. + +There was, in the first place, the inevitable conflict between her new +sense of duty, and the life of deception which she was leading. The +practice of her art of fortune-telling was daily becoming a source of +unendurable pain as she saw more and more clearly the duty of leaving +the future to God and living her daily life in humble, child-like faith. +And in the second place, she was slowly awaking to the terrifying +consciousness that her affection for David was producing a violent and +ungovernable disgust for her husband. + +By the flood of sorrows which poured from these two discoveries, she +seemed to be completely overwhelmed and if, like a diver, she rose to +the sunlight now and then, it was only to seize a few breaths of air by +which she might be able to endure her existence in the depths to which +she was compelled to return. + +No wonder that life became a mystery to this poor child. It seemed as if +its difficulties increased in a direct ratio with her wish to discharge +its duties; as if the darkness gained upon the light, and the burden +grew heavy, faster than her shoulders grew strong. + +The discovery of the nature of that affection which she felt for David +had been slow and unwelcome, coming to her even before David's +protestations of his love; yet one day the passionate feelings of their +hearts found expression in wild and startling confessions. They were +terrified at what they told each other; but it became necessary +therefore to seek the comfort of still other confessions and +confidences. + +Their interviews had steadily become more ardent and more dangerous; and +the doctor's negligence giving them the utmost freedom, they often spent +hours together in wandering about the cities they visited, or the fields +and woods lying near. + +On one of these tramps, their relationship reached a critical stage. It +was the early morning of a beautiful autumn day that they strolled up +Broadway in the city of Cincinnati, turned into the Reading road, and +sauntered slowly out into the country. + +"In which direction shall we go?" asked David. + +"Let us wander without thought or purpose, like those beautiful clouds," +Pepeeta answered, pointing upward. + +David watched them silently for a moment and then said, "Pepeeta, men +and women are like those clouds. They either drift apart forever, or +meet and mingle into one. It must be so with us." + +She walked silently by his side, sobered by the seriousness of his voice +and words. + +"Perhaps," he continued, "it makes but little difference what becomes of +us, for our lives are like the clouds, a morning mist, a momentary +exhalation. And yet, how filled with joy or woe is this moment of +parting or commingling! Pepeeta, I have decided that this day must +terminate my suspense. I cannot endure it any longer. I must know before +night whether our lives are to be united or divided. You have told me +that you love me, and yet you will not give yourself to me. What am I to +think of this?" + +"My friend," she cried with an infinite pain in her voice, "how can you +force me to such a decision when you know all the difficulties of my +life? How can you thus forget that I have a husband?" + +"I do not forget it," he answered bitterly, "I cannot forget it. It is +an eternal demonstration of the madness of faith in any kind of +Providence. It makes me hate an order which unites a lion to a lamb, and +marries a dove to a hawk! You say that you loathe this man! Then leave +him and come with me! The world lies before us. We are as free as those +clouds!" + +"We are not free, and neither are they," she answered. "Something binds +them to their pathway, as it binds me to mine. I cannot leave it. I must +tread it even though I have to tread it alone." + +"You can leave it if you will; but if you will not, I must know the +reason why." + +"Oh! why will you not see? I have tried so hard to show you! I have told +you that there is a voice which speaks within my soul, that to it I must +listen and that the inward light of which you told me shines upon the +path and I must follow it." + +"I could curse that inward light! Must I be always confronted by the +ravings of my youth? All my life long must the words of my credulous +childhood hang about my neck like a millstone? There is no inward light. +You are living a delusion. You are restrained by the conventionalities +of life and are the slave of the customs of society. Because the +miserable herd of mankind is willing to submit to that galling yoke of +marriage, does it follow that you must? By what right can society demand +that men and women who abhor each other should be doomed to pass their +lives in hopeless agony? Against such laws I protest! I defy those +customs. The path of life is short. We go this way but once! Who is to +refuse us all the joy that we can find? There will be sorrow enough, any +way!" + +"Oh! my friend, do not talk so! Do not break my heart! Have pity on me. +I know that it is hard for you; but it is I who have to suffer most. It +is I who must continually exert this terrible resistance which alone +keeps us from being swept away. Have mercy, David! Spare me a little +longer. Spare me this one day at least. If any troubled heart had ever +need of the rest and peace of such a day as this, it is mine! Let us +give ourselves up to these soothing influences. Let us wander. Let us +dream and let us love." + +"Love! This accursed Platonic affection is not love," he answered +savagely. + +"David," she said with an enforced calmness, "you must not speak so. It +will do no good. There is something in me stronger than this passion. +From the bottom of my soul there has come a sense of duty to a power +higher than myself and I will be true to it. I believe that it is God +who speaks. You may appeal to my mind, and I cannot answer you, but my +heart has reasons of its own higher than the reason itself. It was you +who told me this! You told me when you were so beautiful, so good, so +true that I know you were right, and I shall never doubt it. I am not +what I was. I am, oh! so different. I cannot understand; but I am +different." + +There was in this delicate and ethereal girl who spoke so fearlessly +something which held the man, strong in his physical might, in an +inexplicable and irresistible awe. Before a mountain, beside the sea, +beneath the stars and in the presence of a virtuous woman, emotions of +wonder and reverence possess the souls of men. + +Subdued by this influence, David said, with more gentleness: "But what +are we to do? We cannot live in this way. We have been forced into a +situation from which we must escape, even if we have to act against our +consciences." + +"I do not think that this is so! I do not believe that any one can be +placed against his will in a situation that is opposed to his +conscience! There must be some other way to do. A door will open. Let us +wait and hope a little longer. Let us have another happy day at least," +Pepeeta said. + +Heaving a sigh and shrugging his shoulders as if to throw off a burden, +David answered, "Well, let it be as you wish. I have had to suffer so +much that perhaps I can endure it a little longer. I do not want to make +you unhappy. I will try." + +"Oh! thank you, thank you a thousand times; that is like yourself!" +Pepeeta said, her face aglow with gratitude. + +It was a light from the soul itself that shone through the thin +transparency of that face, pale with thought and suffering, and gave it +its new radiance. + +The world around them was steeped in autumn beauty. A gigantic smile was +on the face of Nature. Fleecy, fleeting clouds were chasing each other +across the blue dome of the heavens. The hazy atmosphere of the Indian +summer softened the landscape and lent it a mystical and unearthly +charm. The forests were resplendent with those brilliant colors which +appear like a last flush of life upon the dying face of summer, as she +sinks into her wintry grave. The autumn birds were singing; the autumn +flowers were blooming; yellow golden rod and scarlet sumach glowed in +the corners of the fences; locusts chirped in treetops; grasshoppers +stridulated in the meadows, one or two of them making more noise than a +whole drove of cattle lying peacefully chewing their cud beneath an +umbrageous elm and lifting up their great, tranquil, blinking eyes to +the morning sun. Here and there boys and girls could be seen in the +vineyards and orchards gathering grapes and apples. Farmers were cutting +their grain and stacking it in great brown shocks, digging potatoes, or +plowing the fertile soil. Now and then a traveler met or passed them, +clucking to his horses and hurrying to the city with his produce. Amid +these gracious influences, life gradually lost its stern reality and +took on the characteristics of a pleasant dream. The fever and unrest +abated, burdens weighed less heavily, sorrow became less poignant; the +finer joys of both the waking and sleeping hours of existence were +mysteriously blended. + +Sharp and irritating as the encounter had been between the two lovers, +the momentary antipathy passed away as they moved along. They drew +nearer together; they lifted their eyes furtively; their glances met; +they smiled; they spoke; their sympathies flowed back into the old +channel; their hopes and affections mingled. They gave themselves up to +joy with the abandon of youth, falling into that mood in which +everything pleases and delights. Nature did not need to tell them her +secrets aloud, for they comprehended her whispers and grasped her +meaning from sly hints. They melted into her moods. + +What joys were theirs! To be young; to be drawn together by an affinity +which produced a mysterious and ineffable happiness; to wander aimlessly +over the earth; to yield to every passing fancy; to dream; to hope; to +love. It was the culminating hour of their lives. + +Passing through the little village since called Avondale, they turned +down what is now the Clinton Springs road, climbed a hill, descended its +other slope, and came upon an old spring house where, as they paused to +drink, David scratched their names with his penknife on one of the +stones of the walls, where they may be read to-day. + +Leaving the turnpike, they entered a grove through which flowed a noisy +stream; cast themselves upon a bank, bathed their faces, ate their lunch +and rested. There for a few moments, in the tranquil and uplifting +influence of the silence and the solitude, all that was best in their +natures came to the surface. Pepeeta nestled down among the roots of a +great beech tree, her hat flung upon the ground by her side, her arms +folded across her bosom, her face upturned like a flower drinking in the +sunshine or the rain. At her feet her lover reclined, his head upon his +arms and his gaze fixed upon the canopy of leaves which spread above +them and through which as the branches swayed in the breeze he caught +glimpses of the sky. + +Pepeeta broke the silence. "I could stay here forever," she said. "I +nestle here in the roots of this great tree like a little child in the +arms of its mother. I feel that everything around me is my friend. I +feel, not as if I were different from other things, but as if I were a +part of them. Do you comprehend? Do you feel that way?" + +"More than at any time since leaving home," he said. "That was the way I +always felt in the old days--how far away they seem! I could then sit +for hours beside a brook like this, and thoughts of God would flow over +my soul like water over the stones; and now I do not think of Him at +all! It was by a brook like this that we first met. Do you remember, +Pepeeta?" + +"I shall never forget." + +"Are you sure?" + +"As certain as that I live." + +"Sure--certain! Of what are we sure but the present moment? Into it we +ought to crowd all the joys of existence." + +Her feminine instinct discovered the return of his thoughts into the old +dangerous channel, and her quick wit diverted them. + +"Tell me more about your home, and how you felt when you used to sit +like this and think." + +He determined to yield himself for a little while longer to her will, +and said: "In those days Nature possessed for me an irresistible +fascination; but the spell is broken now. I then thought that I was face +to face with the eternal spirit of the universe. How far I have drifted +away from the world in which I then existed! I could never return to it. +I am like a bird which has broken its shell and which can never be put +back again. I have found another face into which I now look with still +deeper wonder than into that of Nature, and which exerts a still deeper +fascination. It is the face of a woman, in whom all the beauties of +nature seem to be mirrored. She is everything to me; she is the entire +universe embodied in a gentle heart." + +He gazed at her with a look that made her pulses beat; but she was +determined not to permit him to drift back into that dangerous mood from +which she had drawn him with such difficulty. + +"One time you told me," she said, "that the birds and squirrels were +such good friends to you, that if you called them they would come to you +like your dog. I should love to see that. Look! There is a squirrel +sitting on the limb of this very tree! How saucy he looks! How shy! +Bring him to me! I command you! You have said that I am your mistress; +go, slave!" + +Rising to her feet she pointed to the squirrel. Her lithe form was +outlined against the green background of the forest in a pose of +exquisite grace and beauty, her eyes glowed with animation, and her lips +smiled with the consciousness of power. It was impossible to resist her. + +He rose, looked in the direction toward which she pointed, and saw the +squirrel cheeping among the branches. Imitating its cries, he began to +move slowly toward it. The little creature pricked up its ears, cocked +its head on one side, flirted its bushy tail and watched the approaching +figure suspiciously. As it drew nearer and nearer, he began to creep +down the branches. Stopping now and then to reconnoiter, he started +forward again; paused; retreated; returned, and still continued to +advance, until he was within a foot or two of David's hand, which he +examined first with one eye and then the other and made a motion as if +to spring upon it. Suddenly the spell was broken. With a wild flirt of +his tail and a loud outcry, he sprang up the tree and disappeared in the +foliage. + +David watched him until he had vanished, and then turned toward Pepeeta +with a look of disappointment and chagrin. + +"It is too bad," she cried, hastening toward him sympathetically, "but +see, there is a redbird on the top of that old birch tree. Try again! +You will have better success this time, I am sure you will." + +He determined to make another experiment. The brilliant songster was +pouring out his heart in that fine cry of strength and hope which he +sends resounding over hill and vale. Suddenly hearing his own voice +repeated to him in an echo sweet and pure as his own song, he fluttered +his wings, peered this way and that, and sang again. Once more the +answering call resounded, true as an image in a mirror. + +David now began to move with greater caution than before toward the +little creature, who looked at him with curious glances. Back and forth +resounded the sweet antiphonal, and the bird hopped down a branch or +two. Neither of the actors in this woodland drama removed his eyes from +the other, and the spectator watched them both with breathless interest. + +Presently David lifted his hands--the palms closed together in the form +of a cup or nest. The songster bent farther forward on the twig, and +suddenly with a downward plunge shot straight toward them; but just as +his tiny feet touched the fingers, turned as the squirrel had done, and +uttering a loud cry of terror flew away. David dropped his hands and his +eyes. + +"I have lost my power," he said sadly. + +"You are out of practice, you must exercise it oftener. It will all come +back," Pepeeta responded cheerfully. + +They walked slowly and silently back to the place where they had been +sitting, and David began tossing pebbles into the brook. + +"Three times to-day," he said, pausing and turning toward Pepeeta, "I +have opened my hands and my heart, and each time the object whose love I +sought has fluttered away from me in terror or repugnance." + +"Oh! no, not in terror and repugnance," she said eagerly. + +"Am I then incapable of exciting love?" he asked. + +"You will break my heart if you speak so. I love you more than I love my +own life." + +"I do not believe it. Can I believe that the squirrel and the redbird +love me, when they flee from me? If they had loved me, they would have +come to me and nestled to my heart. And so would you. I have come back +to the old subject. I cannot refrain any longer. Will you go with me, or +will you not?" + +"Oh! David," she cried, wringing her hands, "why, why will you break my +heart? Why can you not permit me to finish this day in peace? Wait until +some other time. Why can you not enjoy this present moment? I could wish +it to last forever, if you were only kind. If the flight of time could +be stopped, if we could be forever what we are just now, I could not ask +for any other thing. See how beautiful the world is. See how happy we +are. See how everything hangs just like a balance! Do not speak, do not +move; one unkind word would jar and spoil it all." + +"It is impossible," he cried roughly, "you must leave your husband and +come with me. You cannot put me off any longer. I am desperate." + +He was looking at her with eyes no longer full of pleading, but of +determination and command. + +"What will you do?" he asked. + +"Oh!" she answered, trembling, "why will you compel me to act? Let +something happen! Wait! It is not necessary always to act! Sometimes it +is better to sit still! We are in God's hands. Let us trust Him. Has He +not awakened this love in our hearts? He has not made us love and long +for each other only to thwart us!" + +"Thwart us! Who coaxes the flowers from the ground, only that the frost +may nip them? Who opens the bud only to permit it to be devoured by the +worm? Who places the babe in its mother's arms only to let it be +snatched away by the hand of death? You cannot appeal to me in that +way," he retorted, bitterly. + +"Do not speak so," she exclaimed with genuine terror. "It is wicked to +say such things in this quiet and holy place. Oh! why have you lost that +faith you once possessed? What has blinded your eyes to the light that +you taught me to see? I see it now! All will be well! Something says to +me in my heart, 'All will be well,' if we only follow the light!" + +Nothing could have given stronger proof that inspiration and intuition +are as natural and legitimate functions of the spiritual nature as +sensation and sense perception are of the physical, than her words and +looks. They would have convinced and mastered him, except for the +self-denial which they demanded of his love! But he was now far past all +reason. + +"Pepeeta," he cried, approaching her, "you must be mine and mine alone! +I can no longer endure the thought of your being the wife of another +man. You must come with me. I will not take 'no' for an answer. I +command you to leave this man and go with me. It is a worse crime for +you to live with him when you hate him than to leave him! Come, let us +go! I have money! There are horses to be had. He does not know where we +are. Let us fly!" + +It was evident that he had brooked her refusal as long as he could. The +man was mad. He seized her by the arm. + +In a single instant this gentle creature passed through an incredible +transformation. She wrenched her arm from his hand and stood before him +fearless, resolute, magnificent! Her gypsy training stood her in good +stead now. Young as she was when a pupil in that hard school, she had +learned from her wild teachers the cardinal principle of their +code--_loyalty to her marriage vows_. They had taught her to believe +that this breach was the one unpardonable sin. + +She drew a little stiletto from the folds of her dress, placed its point +upon her heart and said: "It is not necessary that a gypsy should live; +but it is necessary that she should be virtuous!" + +Her resplendent beauty, her fearless courage, her invincible +determination quenched the wild impulses of the reckless youth in a +single instant. All the manhood, all the chivalry of his better nature +rose within him and did homage. He threw himself on his knees and +frantically besought her pardon. + +In an instant the fierce light died from her eyes. She stooped down, +laid her hand on his arm, and with an all-forgiving charity lifted him +to his feet. They stood regarding each other in silence. All that their +souls could reveal had been manifested in actions. The brief scene was +terminated by a common impulse. They turned their faces toward the city +and walked quietly, each reflecting silently upon the struggle that had +been enacted and the denouement which was yet to come. + +In her ignorance and inexperience, Pepeeta hoped that a scene so +dreadful would quench the madness in her lover's soul; but this +revelation of the grandeur of her nature only inflamed his desires the +more. The momentary feeling of shame and penitence passed away. His +determination to possess her became more fixed than ever and during the +homeward walk assumed a definite form. + +For a long time a sinister purpose had been rolling about in his soul. +That purpose now crystallized into resolution. He determined to commit a +crime if need be in order to gain his end. + +Nothing can be more astonishing than the rapidity and ease with which +the mind becomes habituated to the presence of a criminal intention. +The higher faculties are at first disturbed, but they soon become +accustomed to the danger, and permit themselves to be destroyed one +after another, with only feeble protestations. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +TURNED TEMPTER + + "All men have their price." + --Walpole. + + +The plan which David had chosen to compel Pepeeta to abandon her husband +was not a new one. For its execution he had already made a partial +preparation in an engagement to meet the justice of the peace who had +performed her marriage ceremony. The engagement was conditioned upon his +failure to persuade the gypsy to accompany him of her own free will. + +Immediately after supper he took his way to the place appointed for the +meeting. This civil officer had been a companion of the quack's for many +years. His natural capacity, which was of the highest order, had secured +him one place of honor after another; but he had lost them through the +practice of many vices, and had at last sunk to that depth of +degradation in which he was willing to barter his honor for almost any +price. + +The place at which he had agreed to meet David was a low saloon in one +of the most disreputable parts of the city, and to this spot the +infatuated youth made his way. Now that he was alone with his thoughts, +he could not contemplate his purpose without a feeling of dread, and yet +he did not pause nor seriously consider its abandonment. His movements, +as he elbowed his way among the outcasts who infested this degraded +region, were those of a man totally oblivious to his surroundings. + +"Curse him," he muttered in an undertone, and did not know that he had +spoken. + +To talk to one's self is so often a premonitory symptom of either +insanity or crime, that a policeman standing on the corner eyed him +closely and followed him down the street. + +Having reached the door of the saloon, David cast a glance about him, as +if ashamed of being observed, and entered. It was a fitting place to +hatch an evil deed. The floor was covered with filthy sawdust; the air +was rank with the fumes of sour beer and adulterated whisky; the lamps +were not yet lighted, and his eyes blinked as he entered the dirty dusk +of the interior. Against the wall were rude shelves strewn with bottles, +decanters, jugs and glasses. The landlord was leaning against the inside +of the bar glaring about him like an octopus. The habitues of the place, +looking more like scarecrows than men, stood opposite him with their +blear eyes uplifted in ecstasy, draining into their insatiable throats +the last precious drops from their upturned glasses. + +At a table four human shapes which seemed to be operated by some kind of +clumsy mechanical motors rather than animated by sentient spirits were +playing a game of chance and slapping the greasy cards down upon the +table to the accompaniment of coarse laughter and hideous profanity. + +The Quaker, who was not yet thoroughly enough corrupted to witness this +spectacle without horror, hurried through the room like a man who has +suddenly found himself in a pest-house. The door which he pushed open +admitted him to a parlor scarcely less dirty and disgusting that the +saloon itself, at the opposite end of which, wreathed in a cloud of +tobacco smoke, he beheld the object of his search. + +"Well, I see you are here," he said, drawing a chair to the table. + +"And waiting," a deep and rich but melancholy voice replied. + +"Can't we have a couple of candles? These shadows seem to crawl up my +legs and take me by the throat. I feel as if some one were blindfolding +and gagging me," said David, looking uneasily about. + +The judge ordered the candles, and while they were waiting observed: +"You had better accustom yourself to shadows, young man, for you will +find plenty of them on the road you are traveling. They deepen with the +passing years, along every pathway; but the one on which you are about +to set your feet leads into the hopeless dark." + +These unexpected words agitated the soul of the young plotter, but while +he was still shuddering the barkeeper entered with the candles and set +them down on the table between the two men, who found themselves +vis-a-vis in the flickering gleams. + +They leaned on their elbows and looked into each other's faces. The +contrast was remarkable. The countenance of the judge had unquestionably +once been noble, and perhaps also beautiful; but the massive features +were now coarsened by dissipation. A permanent curl of scorn had +wreathed itself around the mouth. A look of ennui brooded over his +features. One would as soon expect to see a flower in the crater of a +volcano as a smile on the lips of this extinct man. + +David's face was young and beautiful. The features were still those of a +saint, even if the aureole had for a time been eclipsed by a cloud. +These two human beings gazed incredulously at each other for a moment. + +"I was once like this youth," the judge was saying to himself with a +sigh. + +"I shall never be like this beast," thought David with a shudder of +repulsion and disgust. + +The "Justice" (grotesque parody) broke the silence. + +"Did you succeed?" he asked. + +"No," said David, sullenly. + +"She would not yield, then?" + +"No more than adamant or steel." + +"You should have pressed her harder." + +"I used my utmost skill." + +"You are a novitiate, perhaps. An adept would have succeeded." + +"Not with her." + +"Ah! who ever caught a trout at the first cast? What you need is +experience." + +"What I want is help." + +"And so you have appealed to me? You wish me to go to this woman and +tell her that her marriage was a fraud?" + +"I do." + +"There have been pleasanter tasks." + +"Will you do it, or will you not?" + +"Suppose she will not believe me?" + +"You must compel her." + +"Young man, have you no compunctions about this business?" said the +judge, leaning forward and looking earnestly into the blue eyes. + +"Compunctions?" said David, in a dry echo of the question. + +"Yes, compunctions," replied the judge, repeating the word again. + +"Oh! some. But for every compunction I have a thousand desperate +determinations. Were you ever in love, Judge?" + +"Yes, I have been in love, such love as yours, and that is why I am what +I am now." + +As he uttered these words, he lifted the glass which his hand had been +toying with, drained it to the dregs, fixed his eyes on David once more, +and after regarding him a moment with a look of pity, said slowly and +solemnly: "Young man, I am about to give you good advice. You smile? No +wonder! But I beg you to listen to me. Sometimes a shipwrecked sailor +makes the best captain, for he knows the force of the tempest. I have no +conscience for myself, but some unaccountable emotion impels me to bid +you abandon this project. Somehow, as I look at you, I cannot bear to +have you become what I am. You seem so young and innocent that I would +like to have you stay as you are. I wish to save you. How strange it is. +When I look at you, I seem to behold myself as I was at your age." + +As he spoke these words the whole expression of his countenance altered, +and faint traces of an almost extinguished manhood appeared. It was as +if beauty, sunk below the horizon, had been thrown up in a mirage. + +So tender an appeal would have broken a heart like David's, except for +the madness of illicit love. + +"Judge!" he cried, striking the table with his fist, "I did not come +here for advice, I came for help. I am determined to have this woman. +She is mine by virtue of my desire and my capacity to acquire her! I +must have her! I will have her, by fair means or foul. And, Judge, in +this case, the foulest means are fair. What seems an act of injustice is +in reality an act of mercy. You know her husband, and you know as well +as I do that her life with him will be her ruin. You know that the +complacency with which she once regarded him has already turned to +disgust, and that it is only a single step from disgust to hate and +another from hate to murder. She will kill him some day! She cannot help +it. It is human nature and if she doesn't I will! Come now, Judge, you +will help me, won't you?" + +A cynical smile wreathed itself around the mouth of the old roue. In his +debauched nature, the oil of sympathy had long ago been exhausted. This +was a last despairing flicker. A wick cannot burn alone. + +"Help you?" he said languidly. "Oh, yes, I will help you. There is no +use trying to save you. You are only another moth! You want the fire, +and you will have it! You will burn your wings off as millions have done +before you and as millions will do after you. What then? Wings are made +to be burned! I burned mine. Probably if I had another pair I would burn +them also. It is as useless to moralize to a lover as to a tiger. I am a +fool to waste my breath on you. Let us get down to business. You say +that she loves you, and that she will be glad to learn that she is +free?" + +"I do! her heart is on our side. She will believe you, easily!" + +"Yes, she will believe me easily! She will believe me too easily! For +six thousand years desire has been a synonym for credulity. All men +believe what they want to, except myself. I believe everything that I do +not want to, and nothing that I do! But no matter. How much am I to get +for this job?" + +They haggled a while over the price, struck a bargain and shook +hands--the same symbol being used among men to seal a compact of love or +hate, virtue or vice. + +"Be at the Spencer House at eleven o'clock," said David, rising. "You +will find us on the balcony. The doctor is to spend the night in a revel +with the captain of the Mary Ann, and we shall be uninterrupted. Be an +actor. Be a great actor, Judge. You are to deal with a soul which +possesses unusual powers of penetration." + +"Do not fear! She will be no match for me, for she is innocent--and when +was virtue ever a match for vice? She is predestined to her doom! +Farewell! Fare-ill, I mean," he muttered under his breath, as David +passed from the room. + +He gazed after him with his basilisk eyes, drank another glass of whisky +and relapsed into reveries. + +The mind of the lover was full of tumultuous emotions. On the thin ice +of his momentary joy, he hovered like an inexperienced skater over the +great deeps of sin which were waiting to engulf him. + +There was still an hour before the time when he would have to take his +part in the business of the evening. He determined to walk off his +excitement, and chose the way along the edge of the river. + +It was now quite dark. The stars were shining in the sky and lamps were +twinkling in the windows. The streets were almost deserted; the +citizens, wearied with the toils of the day, were eating their evening +meal, or resting on the balconies and porches. Here and there on the +surface of the swift-flowing river a huge steamer swept past, or little +ferry-boats shot back and forth like shuttles. His thoughts composed a +strangely blended web of good and evil. At the same moment in which he +reiterated his resolve to prosecute this deed he consecrated himself to +a life of tenderness and devotion to the woman whom he loved with all +the energy of his nature! Of such inconsistencies is the soul capable! + +It seemed an easy matter to him to control the august forces which he +was letting loose! He was like a little child who wanders through a +laboratory uncorking bottles and mixing explosives. + +Having regained his calmness by a long walk, he hurried back and reached +the open space along the river front where peddlers, mountebanks and +street venders plied their crafts, just in time to meet the doctor as he +drove up with his horses. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER + + "Thinks thou there are no serpents in the world + But those who slide along the grassy sod + And sting the luckless foot that presses them? + There are those who in the path of social life + Do bask their skins in Fortune's sun + And sting the soul." --Joanna Baillie. + + +That evening's business was one of unprecedented success. Never had the +young orator been so brilliant. All the faculties of his mind seemed +wrought up to their highest pitch and all its resources under perfect +control. The boisterous crowd laughed itself hoarse at his humor, wept +itself silly at his pathos, and laid its shekels at his feet. + +It is no wonder that such scenes and others like them have generated +both satirists and saviors, and that while men like Savonarola have been +ready to die for the redemption of such creatures other men, like +Juvenal, have sneered. + +The three companions returned to the hotel and counted their ill-gotten +gains. Pepeeta was sober, David exultant and the doctor hilarious. He +pulled out the ends of his long black mustache to their utmost limit, +twisted them into ropes, rubbed his hands together, slapped his great +thigh and laughed long and loud. + +"David, my son," he exclaimed, "you have the touch of Midas; g-g-give us +a few years more and we will outrank the fabled Croesus. We shall yet +be masters of the world. We shall ride upon its neck as if it w-w-were +an ass! How about the old farm life now? Do you want to return to the +p-p-plow-tail? Would you rather milk the b-b-brindle cow than the +b-b-bedeviled people? This has been a g-g-great night, and I must go and +finish it in the c-c-cabin of the Mary Ann with the captain, his mate +and the judge. They will know how to appreciate it! Such a t-t-triumph +must not be allowed to p-p-pass without a celebration." + +He bustled about the room a few moments, kissed his wife, shook hands +with David and hastened away. + +After he had vanished, David and Pepeeta passed down the long corridor +and out upon the balcony of the old Spencer House, to the place +appointed for the interview of the judge. The night was bright; a +refreshing breeze was blowing up from the river and the frequent +intermissions in the gusts of wind that swept over the sleeping city +gave the impression that Nature was holding her breath to listen to the +tales of love that were being told on city balconies and in country +lanes. Under the mysterious influence of the full moon, and of the +silence, for the noises of the city had died away, their imaginations +were aroused, their emotions quickened, their sensibilities stirred. It +seemed impossible that life could be seriously real. Their conceptions +of duty and responsibility were sublimated into vague and misty dreams, +and the enjoyment of the moment's fleeting pleasures seemed the only +reality and end of life. + +The two lovers placed their chairs close to the railing and leaning over +it looked down into the deserted street or off toward the distant hills +swimming like islands on a sea of light, or up to the infinite sky in +the immensity of which their individual being seemed to be swallowed up, +or down into each other's eyes, in the depths of which they discovered +realities which they had never before perceived, and lost sight of those +in which they had always believed. For a long time they sat in silence. +Afterwards, there came a few whispered interchanges of feeling, as the +stillness of a grove is broken by gentle agitations among the leaves, +and finally David said, + +"Pepeeta, you have long promised to tell me all you knew of your early +life; will you do it now?" + +"Of what possible interest can it be to you?" she asked. + +"It seems to me," he replied, "that I could linger forever over the +slightest detail. It is not enough to know what you are. I wish to know +how you came to be what you are." + +"You must reconcile yourself to ignorance; the origin of my existence is +lost in night." + +"Did not the doctor discover anything at all from the people in whose +possession he found you?" + +"Nothing. They kept silence like the grave. He heard from a gypsy in +another camp that my parents belonged to a noble family in Spain, and +has often said that when he becomes very rich he will go with me to my +native land and find them. But I believe, myself, that the veil will +never be lifted from the past. I must be content!" + +"But you can tell me something of that part of your childhood that you +do remember?" + +"It is too sad! I do not want to think of anything that happened before +I met you. My life began from that moment. Before, I had only dreamed." + +He was intoxicated with her beauty and her love; but he carried himself +carefully, for he was playing a desperate game and must keep himself +under control. + +"And do you think," he said, "that having awakened from this dream you +can ever fall asleep again?" + +"Can the bird ever go back into the shell or the butterfly into the +chrysalis? No, no, it is impossible." + +"But would you, if you could?" + +"Perhaps I ought to want to; but I cannot." + +"And do you think that we can drift on forever as we are going?" + +"I do not know. I do not dare to think. I only live from day to day." + +"And you still refuse to take your future into your own hands?" + +"It is not mine. I must accept what has been appointed." + +"And you still believe that some door will be opened through which we +may escape?" + +"With all my heart." + +"I wish I could share your faith." + +They ceased to speak, and sat silently gazing into each other's faces, +the heart of the woman rent with a conflict between desire and duty, +that of the man by a tempest of evil passions. At that moment, a slow +and heavy step was heard in the hallway. They looked toward the door, +and in the shadows saw a man who contemplated them silently for a moment +and then advanced. + +David rose to meet him. + +"I beg your pardon," he said, feigning embarrassment, "I had an errand +with the lady, and hoped I should find her alone." + +"You may speak, for the gentleman is the friend of my husband and +myself," Pepeeta said. + +"I will begin, then," he responded, "by asking if you recognize me?" And +at that he stepped out into the moonlight. + +Pepeeta gave him a searching glance and exclaimed in surprise, "You are +the judge who married me." + +He let his head fall upon his breast with well-assumed humility, +remained a moment in silence, looked up mournfully and said, "I would to +God that I had really married you, for then I should not have been +bearing this accursed load of guilt that has been crushing me for +months." + +At these words, Pepeeta sprang from her seat and stood before him with +her hands clasped upon her breast. + +"Be quick! go on!" she cried, when she had waited in vain for him to +proceed. + +"Prepare yourself for a revelation of treachery and dishonor. I can +conceal my crime no longer. If I hold my peace the very stones in the +street will cry out against me." + +"Make haste!" Pepeeta exclaimed, imperatively. + +"Madam," continued the strange man, "I have betrayed you." + +"You have betrayed me?" + +"Yes, I have betrayed you. Do you understand? You are not married to +your husband. I deceived you as I was bribed to do. I was not a justice. +I had no right to perform that ceremony. It was a solemn farce. Your +false lover desired to possess the privileges without assuming the +responsibilities of marriage." + +These words, spoken slowly, solemnly, and with a simulation of candor +which would have deceived her even if she had not desired to believe +them, produced the most profound impression upon the mind of Pepeeta. +She approached the judge and cried: "Sir, I beg you in the name of +heaven not to trifle with me! Is what you have told me true?" + +"Alas, too true." + +"If it is true, you will say it before the God in heaven? Raise your +right hand!" + +Before an appeal so solemn and a soul so pure a man less corrupt would +have faltered; but without a moment's hesitation this depraved, +remorseless creature did as she commanded. + +"I swear it," he said. + +"Oh! sir," she cried, "you cannot understand; but this is the happiest +moment of my life!" + +"Madam?" he exclaimed, interrogatively and with consummate art. + +"It is not necessary for you to know why," she answered; "but on my +knees I thank you." + +He lifted her up. "What can it mean? I implore you to tell me," he said. + +"Do not ask me!" she replied. "I cannot tell you now! My heart is too +full." + +"But does this mean that I have nothing to regret and that you have +forgiven me?" + +"It does. For it is against God only you have sinned! As for myself, I +bless you from the bottom of my heart!" + +She gave him her hand. He took it in his own and held it, looking first +at her and then at David with an expression of such surprise as to +deceive his accomplice scarcely less than his victim. Young, +inexperienced, innocent in this sin at least, she stood between +them--helpless. + +It is one thing for a woman deliberately to renounce her marriage vows +to taste the sweets of forbidden pleasure, but quite another for a heart +so loyal to duty, to be betrayed into crime by an ingenuity worthy of +devils. + +Child of misfortune that she was, victim of a series of untoward and +fatal circumstances, she had reason all her life to regret her +credulity; but never to reproach herself for wrong intentions. Her heart +often betrayed her; but her soul was never corrupted. She ought to have +been more careful--alas, yes, she ought--but she meant no sin. + +Now that the confidence of Pepeeta had been secured, David's part in +this drama became comparatively easy. + +He listened to the brief conversation in which by a well-constructed +chain of fictitious reasonings the judge riveted upon the too eager mind +of the child-wife the conclusion that she was free. When this arch +villain had concluded his arguments every suspicion had vanished from +her soul, and as he rose to depart she took him by the hand and bade him +a kindly and almost affectionate farewell. "Do not afflict yourself with +this painful memory," she said gently. + +"I shall not need to afflict myself," he replied; "my memory will +afflict me, for I am as guilty as if the result had been what I +expected; and if in the coming years you find a moment now and then in +which you can lift up a prayer for a man who has forfeited his claim to +mercy, I beg you to devote it to him who from the depths of his heart +wishes you joy. Good-bye." + +With many assurances of her pardon, Pepeeta followed him to the door and +bade him farewell. + +When she returned to David her face was luminous with happiness, and +although he had begun already to experience a reaction and to suffer +remorse for his successful infamy, it was only like a drop of poison in +the ocean of his joy. + +"Did I not tell you that all would be well?" she cried, approaching him +and extending both her hands. "But how sudden and how strange it is. It +is too good to be true. I cannot realize that I am free. I am like a +little bird that hops about its cage, peeps through the door which its +mistress' hand has opened, and knows not what to think. It wishes to go; +but it is frightened. What shall it do, David? Tell it! Shall it fly?" + +"I also am too bewildered to act and almost too bewildered to think," he +said with unaffected excitement and anxiety, for now that the time and +opportunity for him to take so momentous a step had come, his heart +failed him. It was only with the most violent effort and under a most +pressing necessity that he pulled himself together and continued, + +"The little bird must fly, and its mate must fly with it. There are too +few hours before daylight and we must not lose a single one. But are you +sure that you are quite ready? Is your mind made up? Will you go with me +trustfully? Will you accept whatever the future has in store?" + +She took him in her strong young arms, printed her first kiss upon his +lips, and said: "I will go with you to the ends of the earth! I will go +with you through water and through fire! The future cannot bring me +anything from which I shall shrink, if it lets us meet it hand in +hand!" + +Silently and swiftly they gathered together the few necessities of a +sudden journey, stole out of the quiet building and hurried away to a +livery stable. In a few moments they were rattling down the rough +cobble-stone pavement to the river. The ferryman, who had been retained +for this very purpose, pretended to be asleep. They aroused him, drove +onto the platform of his primitive craft and floated out upon the +stream. As the boat swung clear of the shore they heard music issuing +from the cabin windows of a steamer under whose stern they were passing. +It was the "Mary Ann." They listened. The music ceased for a moment and +a deep voice called out "B-b-bravo! Another song!" + +They recognized it instantly, and Pepeeta pressed close to the side of +her lover. + +"You hear it for the last time," he whispered. + +"Thank God," she said. + +That name uttered in the darkness of the night startled him. The idea +that he had cast a shuttle of crime into the great loom upon which the +fabric of his life was being woven, took complete possession of his +mind. With unerring prescience, he saw that it began to be entangled in +the mysterious meshes. A consciousness that he was no longer the master +but the victim of his destiny seized him and he shuddered. Pepeeta +perceived the shudder through the arm which embraced her. + +"You are cold, my love," she said. + +"My joy has made me tremble," he replied. + +She pressed the hand which was holding hers and looked up into his face +with ineffable love. + +The swift current seized the boat, twisting it hither and thither till +it seemed to the now trembling fugitive a symbol of the stream of +tendencies upon which he had launched the frail bark containing their +united lives. + +"I wonder if I am strong enough to stem it?" he asked himself. + +Pepeeta continued to press his hand and that gentle sign of love revived +his drooping courage. Perhaps there is no other act so full of +reassuring power as the pressure of a human hand. Neither a glance from +the eye nor a word from the lips can equal it. The fainting pilgrim, the +departing friend, the discouraged toiler, the returning prodigal welcome +it beyond all other symbols of helpfulness or love, and the dying saint +who leans the hardest on the "rod and the staff of God" as he goes down +into the dark valley finds a comfort scarcely less sweet in the warm +clasp of a human hand. Just as the courage of this daring navigator of +the sea of crime had been restored by this signal of his loved one's +trust, the boat grated on the beach. + +"Can we find a minister who will marry us at this time of night?" David +said to the ferryman, although he had been careful to ask this question +before. + +"Two blocks south and three east, second door on the right hand side," +he answered laconically, as he received the fare. + +Such adventurers passed often through his hands and their ways were +nothing new. + +The fugitives drove hurriedly to the designated house, knocked at the +door, were admitted and in a few moments the final act which sealed +their fate had been performed. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +THE DERELICTS + + "Born but to banquet and to drain the bowl." + + --Homer. + + +The "Mary Ann" had just returned from a trip to New Orleans, and while +waiting for her cargo lay moored at the foot of Broadway. As the quack +ascended her gang-plank the captain and mate rose to greet him. There +was not on the entire river, where so many extraordinary characters have +been evolved, a more remarkable pair. + +The captain was five feet four inches in height, round, ruddy, mellow +and jocund. A complete absence or suppression of moral sense, together +with health as perfect as an animal's, had rendered him insensible to +all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. He had never shed a +tear save in excessive laughter, and sorrow had never yet struck a dart +through the armor of fat in which he was sheathed. + +The mate was his counterpart and foil. Six feet and three inches tall, +he was long-legged, lantern-jawed and goggle-eyed. Bilious in his +constitution, he was melancholic in his temperament, had been crossed in +love and soured at twenty, betrayed and bankrupted at thirty, and at +forty had turned his back upon the world, forswearing all its +amusements but those of the table, which his poor digestion made more +painful than pleasurable, all of its ambitions but those of getting +money And all friendships but those of the captain, to whom he was +attached like a limpet to a rock. + +Such were the leading characteristics of the two worthies who rose from +their deck-stools to meet the doctor as he rolled up the gangway. + +"Howdy, doctor?" said the mate, in the peculiar drawling vernacular of +the poor whites of the south, extending a hand as cold and hard as an +anchor. + +"Welcome, prince of quacks! For a man who has made so many others walk +the plank with poison drugs, you do it but poorly yourself," cried the +captain, merrily. + +"You will d-d-draw your last breath with a joke, as a d-d-drunkard sips +his last drop with a sigh," responded the doctor. + +"The captain was born with the corners of his mouth turned up like a +dead man's toes," drawled the lugubrious mate. + +"Where is the judge?" asked the doctor, hitting the captain a hearty +slap on the back. + +"He will be here a little later," the host replied. + +The three boon companions seated themselves by the gunwale of the +vessel, basking in the mellow light of the moon and quaffing the liquor +which a negro brought them. + +While they were drinking and recalling the many revels which they had +held together, an hour passed by, and at its close a form was seen +coming leisurely down the sloping bank of the river. It was the justice +of the peace, come to make merry with the husband of the woman he had +just betrayed. Upon that cynical countenance a close observer might have +noted even in the pale light of the moon an expression of sardonic +pleasure when he returned the hearty greetings with which his coming was +hailed. + +"I am sorry to have kept you waiting," he said. + +"We have all the b-b-better appetite," responded the doctor. + +"If, as the old saw says, the time to eat is when the stomach rings the +bell, I am ready!" the captain piped, in his high-pitched voice. + +"Diogenes being asked what time a man ought to eat, responded, 'The +rich, when he is hungry, and the poor, when he has food,'" said the +judge, whose mind threw up old scraps of classical knowledge as the +ocean throws up shells. + +"As for hunger, my appetite is sharper than a scythe; but my indigestion +is duller than a whetstone," said the mate, to whom a feast was always +prophetic of subsequent fasting. + +"Good digestion waits on appetite; but waits too long, eh?" the judge +replied. + +The captain led the way to the cabin. It was a low, dingy room, but +ruddy with the light of a dozen tallow candles. On the table was spread +a feast that would have tempted the palates of the epicures who gathered +about the festive board of the immortal Lucullus. There was neither art +nor display in the accompaniments of the food, but every luxury that an +ample market could supply had been prepared by a cook who could have won +immortality in a Paris restaurant, and the finest whisky that could be +distilled in old Kentucky, the rarest wines that could be imported from +the Rhine or from sunny Italian slopes, were ready to flow. + +Four slaves received the banqueters and then took their places behind +the chairs at the table. The captain's face was shining like a full +moon; the doctor's was swarthy, sinister and piratical; the judge's +possessed the dignity of a splendid ruin; the mate's was haunted by an +expression of unsatisfied and insatiable desire. Observing it and +calling the attention of the others, the justice remarked, "Like the old +Romans, we have a skeleton at our table to remind us of death." + +"You would look like death yourself if you had to sit staring at these +bounties like a muzzled dog in a market," snarled the mate. + +"Be like the dyspeptic who was about to be hanged," said the doctor. +"The sheriff asked him to make his last request. 'I will have a dozen +hot waffles well b-b-buttered; and let there be a _full_ dozen, for I +shall not suffer from the cramps t-t-this time,' says he." + +The first few courses of the feast were eaten in almost uninterrupted +silence; but as the keen edge of their appetites became a little dulled, +the tongues of the banqueters were unloosed and a torrent of talk began +to flow, interlarded with oaths and stories of a more than questionable +character. Corks popped from bottles with loud explosions, the darkies +greeted the sallies of wit with boisterous laughter and surreptitiously +emptied the glasses. + +The fun grew fast and furious, the thoughts of the revelers flowing in +the usual channels of such feasts. At a certain pitch of this wild +frenzy, a desire for music invariably recurs and so at a signal from the +captain the slaves who performed the functions of deck-hands, waiters or +musicians as the exigencies of the occasion demanded, brought in their +musical instruments and the rafters were soon ringing with their simple +melodies to the accompaniment of banjos and guitars. The deep rich +voices blended harmoniously with the tingle of the stringed instruments +and the clicking of the bones. Plantation songs were followed by revival +hymns, and these by coarse and licentious ditties. At a second stage of +every orgie, desire for the dance is kindled by music, and so, at the +command of their master, two of the slaves began to execute a "double +shuffle." + +The clatter and the beating of negro feet to the accompaniment of the +banjo and the bones, and the shouting of the spectators gave vent to the +boisterous emotions of the revelers. Even the melancholy mate caught the +enthusiasm, and for a time at least forgot his misery. Of them all, the +judge alone preserved his gravity. He sat looking unmoved at these wild +antics, and murmured to himself: + + "If music be the food of love, play on. + Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, + The appetite may sicken and so die. + That strain again! It had a dying fall. + O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound + That breathes upon a bank of violets + Stealing and giving odor." + +Nothing could be more horrible than the sight of this gifted man herding +with these beasts. It was like a lion devouring carrion with wolves. +Aside from the pleasure of the palate, his enjoyment of the scene was +derived from the cynical contempt with which he regarded it. Having +descended to the lowest depths of human degradation, he had arrived at a +point where he drew his keenest relish from the inconsistencies, the +absurdities and the sufferings of his fellow-men. In order that he might +behold a scene in which all the elements of the horribly grotesque were +combined, he determined to provoke the egotism and complacency of the +quack to the very highest activity at this moment when his fortunes and +his hopes were being undermined. + +After the excitement of the dance had abated, the concluding phase of +all such orgies came in its inevitable sequence, and they began to drink +great bumpers to each other's health. After all had been pledged, the +judge proposed a toast to the "gypsy bride." + +The tongue of the quack was loosened in an instant and he poured forth +an extravagant eulogy of her beauty and her devotion. + +"If she were mine, I should be on the ragged edge with jealousy every +hour of the day and night," said the judge, as they set their glasses +down. + +"Y-y-you'd have reason to! B-b-but I'm a horse of a different c-c-color, +old boy! W-w-women have p-p-preferences," the doctor replied, pulling +out the ends of his mustache and winking at the captain and his mate, +who stupidly nodded their appreciation of the hit. + +"When honeysuckles close their petals to hummingbirds, Venus will shut +the door on Adonis," responded the judge, draining his glass and smiling +into its depths. + +The quack was too far gone in his cups to comprehend or even to be +curious as to the significance of this sneer and went on sounding his +own virtues and Pepeeta's beauty while the judge provoked him to the +fullest exhibition of his colossal vanity. He took a sinister delight in +drawing him out. It was the pleasure of a cat playing with the mouse, +which it is about to devour, or of savages mocking the man who is about +to run the gauntlet. He exulted in the contrast of this proud man's +present confidence, and the humiliation which awaited him within the +next few hours. + +The quack was an easy victim. His career of prosperity had met with but +a single serious interruption and he had so entirely forgotten his +dangerous sickness in his perfect health that he was seldom troubled by +foreboding as to the future. Never had he possessed more confidence of +life than at the very moment when all his hopes, all his confidence, +all his faith, were about to be shattered. + +Our misfortunes draw a train of shadows behind them; but they often +project a glowing light before them. Sickness is often preceded by the +most bounding health, failure by unexampled success, misery by +irrepressible emotions of exultation. Too bright a sunshine as well as +too dark a shadow is often the herald of a storm upon the sea of life. + +But ebullitions of happiness and confidence did not excite the +apprehension of the quack. Each bumper of wine was followed by a new +outburst of vanity. The captain and the mate had already succumbed to +the potent influence of the liquors which they had been drinking, and +amidst his maudlin speeches the quack's tongue was becoming hopelessly +tangled. + +The judge was as sober as at the beginning of the feast and with a smile +upon his lips in which cynicism was incarnate, waited until the doctor +had just begun to snore and then aroused him by another question. + +"Who is this paragon of virtue to whom you so confidently trust the +chastity of your wife?" + +"This w-w-what?" + +"This paragon of virtue--this ice-cold Adonis?" + +"Say whatcher mean." + +"Who is this pure young man with whom the beautiful Pepeeta is so safe? +What is it you call him, David Crocker?" + +"'Tain't his real name." + +"What is his real name?" + +"D'n I ever t-t-tell you?" + +"No." + +"Real name's C-C-Corson--David Corson." + +"What?" cried the judge, springing to his feet. + +"C-C-Corson--I tell you," stuttered the quack, too drunk to notice the +peculiar effect of his announcement. + +"What do you know about him?" the judge asked with ill-suppressed +excitement. + +"Keep still--wan' go sleep." + +"Wake up and tell me what you know about him, I say." + +"He' Squaker." + +"A Quaker?" + +"Yes, Squaker." + +"Great heavens!" speaking under his breath and trembling visibly. "What +else do you know?" + +"Illegitimate child." + +"What?" passing around the table, seizing him by the collar and shaking +him. "Say that again." + +"'S true--s' help me! What you c-c-care?" + +"How do you know he is an illegitimate child--I say?" + +"I know--that's nuf! Sh'tup and lemme g-g-go sleep." + +"Tell me, curse you!" shaking him until his teeth rattled. + +He was too far gone to answer and fell under the table. The judge kicked +him, and with a muttered curse took up a glass of whisky, and tossing +it down his throat, hurriedly left the cabin, and began to pace the +deck in violent agitation. + +This man who had so ruthlessly set a pitfall for his neighbor had +suddenly tumbled into one which retributive justice had dug deep for +himself! + +"It must be true," he was saying. "It accounts for the strange feeling I +had toward him when he asked me to help him do that infernal deed. I +could not understand it then, but it is plain enough now. He is my son! +And I have not only transmitted a tainted life to him, but helped to +damn him in its possession! God! what irony! Of course the quack never +knew that I, too, am living under a false name! I wonder if it is too +late to stop him? Yes--it's done, and he is miles away! It's almost +daybreak now! Whewwwh! It's horrible!" + +He dashed his clenched fist on the railing of the vessel. While he stood +there, his mind ran back into the past. He lived over again those +passionate days when he had won and betrayed a young, beautiful, +impressionable girl. His heart beat with a swifter stroke as he +remembered the excitement of their hurried flight from her parents, and +the wild joy of their adventurous lives, and then sank again to its +steady, hopeless throb as he recalled her penitence and misery after the +birth of the boy, his consenting to marry her, the ceremony, the respite +from self-reproach, the few happy months, the relapse into old bad +habits, the sobered mother becoming a devout and faithful member of a +Quaker church, his disgust at this, his quarrels with her and finally +his desertion of her. And then the whole subsequent series of adventures +and disasters passed before him--a moving panorama of dishonor and +crime! He paced the deck again; then he paused and leaned over the +gunwale, listening to the water lapping the sides of the vessel. Nothing +could have been more astonishing to him than the sudden activity of his +conscience. It had been so long since he had experienced remorse that he +believed himself incapable of it. But suddenly a fierce and unendurable +pang seized him. To a man who had been long accustomed to feeling +nothing in the contemplation of his deeds, but a dull consciousness of +unworthiness, this sharp and terrible attack of shame and guilt was +startling indeed. He could not understand it. The pain seemed +disproportionate to the sin; but he could not resist the repugnance and +horror with which it filled him! And this is an element in the moral +life with which bad men forget to deal! Because conscience ceases to +remonstrate and remorse to torment, they think the exemption permanent. +They do not know that at any moment, in some unforeseen emergency--this +abused faculty of the soul may spring into renewed life. This elemental +power, this primal endowment, can no more be permanently dissociated +from the soul than heat from fire! It may smoulder unobserved, but a +breath will fan it into flame! Without it, the soul would cease to be a +soul; its permanent eradication would be equivalent to annihilation! If +conscience can be eliminated, man has nothing to brag of over a +tadpole! We are no more safe from it than from memory! Who can be sure +that what he has forgotten has ceased to survive? The sweet perfume of a +violet may revive a bitter memory dormant for fifty years! At a word, a +look, a glance, conscience--abused, suppressed, despised, +inoperative--may rise in all her majesty and fill the heart with torment +and despair! + +This corrupted judge, this faithless lover, this dishonorable parent, +had become accustomed to dull misery; but this fierce onslaught of an +avenging sense of personal unworthiness and dread of divine justice was +more than he could bear. Life had long since lost its charms and he had +more than once seriously contemplated suicide. + +"There seems to be no use in trying to beat nature in any other way, and +so I will try the dernier resort," he said aloud. Opening his pocket +knife, he cut a piece of rope from the flagstaff, looked around, found a +heavy bar of iron, and fastened rope and weight together. In one end of +the rope he made a noose, slipped it over his neck, approached the +railing and leaned upon it to reflect. His mind now went back into the +still more remote past; he was a boy again, and at his mother's knee. +Half audibly and half unconsciously, he began murmuring, "Now I lay me +down to sleep, I pray--no--I'll be consistent," he added, with a sigh. +"I have lived without the mummery of prayer, and I will die without +it." + +And then by one of those strange freaks of the mind that make people do +the most absurd things at the most sacred times--mourners laugh at +funerals, and soldiers in the thick of battles long for puddings--he +began to say over that old doggerel which he used to repeat when +shivering on the spring-board over the cold waters of the Hudson river: + + "One, two, three, the bumble bee, + The rooster crows and away she goes!" + +The absurdity of so trivial a memory at such a serious moment excited +his sense of humor, and he smiled. + +By this time the violence of his remorse had begun to subside and proved +to be only a fitful, fleeting protest of that abused and neglected moral +sense. Something more terrible than even this discovery of the wrong +done to his own son would have to come. There was plenty of time! Nature +was in no haste! This was only a warning, a little danger signal. + +By a short, swift revulsion, his feelings changed from horror to +indifference. "After all, why should I care?" he said. "The boy is +nothing to me, and at any rate he would have gained his end in some +other way. Let him have his fling; I have had mine. If he didn't break +that old impostor's heart, he would probably break a better one! And as +for the gypsy--it's only a question of who and when. What a fool I have +made of myself! Who would believe that such a trifle could give me such +a shock? There is something to live for yet. I must see what sort of a +face the quack makes when he takes his medicine to-morrow." + +He threw the iron weight into the water, entered the cabin, took another +drink, smiled contemptuously at the drunken wretches under the table, +crossed the deck, descended the gang-plank and climbed the steep path to +the city. + +Against his inheritance from such a nature as this, the young mystic had +to make his life struggle. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THE SHADOW OF DEATH + + "There are moral as well as physical assassinations."--Voltaire. + + +When he awoke the next morning, the poor bedeviled doctor crawled back +to the hotel as best he could, his head throbbing with pain, his wits +dull and his temper wild. Stumbling up the long flight of stairs which +seemed to him to reach the sky, he burst open his door and entered the +room. It was empty. The bed had not been occupied. Pepeeta was nowhere +to be seen. + +It took him some moments to comprehend that he did not comprehend. Then +he called, "Pepeeta! Pepeeta!" + +The silence at first bewildered, then aroused hims and crossing the +corridor he entered David's room. It, too, was empty. He was now +thoroughly astonished and awake. Recrossing the hall he once more +entered his room and began in earnest to seek an explanation of this +mystery. It did not take him long, for on the table were lying the +jewels in which he had invested his profits and which he had confided to +Pepeeta--and beside them a piece of paper on which he slowly spelled out +these startling words: + +"I have discovered your treachery and fled." + +"PEPEETA." + +He drew his hand across his eyes, took a piece of his cheek between his +thumb and first finger and pinched it to see if he were awake, then read +the words again, this time aloud: "I have discovered your treachery and +fled. Pepeeta." "Treachery?" he said. "What t-t-treachery? Whose +t-t-treachery? Fled? Fled with whom, fled where? I wonder if I am still +d-d-drunk?" + +Laying the paper down, he went to the wash-stand, filled the bowl with +water, plunged his head into it and expected to find that he had been +suffering some sort of hallucination. But when he returned to the table +and again took up the missive, the same words stared him in the face. + +At last, and almost with the rapidity of a stroke of lightning, the +whole mystery solved itself. It flashed upon his mind that Pepeeta had +abandoned him, and in company with the man he had so implicitly trusted. +The serpent he had nourished in his bosom had at last stung him! Tearing +the paper into shreds, and stamping upon the floor, he cursed and raved. + +"I see it all," he cried. "Fool, ass, bat, mole! Curse me! Yes, curse +me! But curse them also! Oh! G-G-God, help me to avenge this wrong!" + +As soon as a God is necessary to the atheist he invents one, and in a +single instant this hopeless skeptic had become a firm believer in the +Deity. It seemed for a few moments as if his passions would destroy him +by their internal violence; but their first ebullition was soon expended +and he began to grow calm. The electric fires of his anger were no +longer permitted to play at random, but were gathered up into a +thunderbolt to be hurled at his foe; this half-crazed man suddenly +became as cool and calculating as he was desperate and determined. + +A purpose shaped itself instantly in his mind, and he began its +execution without delay. He made no confidant, took no advice; but +having smoothed his ruffled clothing and combed his disheveled hair so +as to excite no comment and provoke no question, he passed through the +hotel corridor and office, greeting his acquaintances with his +accustomed ease, and made his way to the livery stable. He went at once +to the stalls where his famous team was accustomed to stand, and to his +astonishment and delight found his horses both there. + +"Tom," he said to the hostler, "did you hire a horse and b-b-buggy to a +young couple last night?" + +"I did not," answered the surly groom. + +"Tell me the truth," said the doctor in a voice that made every word +sound like the crack of a rifle. + +"What do you take me for?" asked the stableman, trying to appear +indignant and innocent. + +"You're a l-l-liar, and I am in no mood for trifling. Out with it, you +scoundrel!" he cried, seizing him by the throat. + +With a sign of terror the groom indicated his readiness to come to +terms, and the doctor relaxed his grip. + +Still trembling, he told the truth. + +"Do you know which road they took?" + +He waved his hand toward Kentucky. + +"Put a saddle on Hamlet--no, on Romeo," he ordered, tersely. + +The groom entered a box stall and led out the black beauty. The doctor +glanced him over and smiled. And well he might, for every muscle, every +motion betokened speed, intelligence, endurance. + +The pursuer made a single stop on his way to the river and that was at a +gun store, from which he emerged carrying a pair of saddle bags on his +arm. In the holsters were two loaded pistols. + +He smiled as he mounted, having already consummated vengeance in his +heart. Once across the river and safe upon the Louisville pike, he +loosened the reins. The horse, whose sympathetic heart had already been +imbued with the spirit of his rider, shook his long black mane, plunged +forward and pounded along the hard turnpike. His hoof-beats--sharp, +sonorous, rhythmical--seemed to be crying for vengeance; for hoof-beats +have a language, and always utter the thoughts of a rider. + +Now that he was well on his way the outraged husband had time to +reflect, and the past few months rose vividly before him. He saw his own +folly and did not spare himself in his condemnation; but this folly did +not for an instant modify the guilt of the two fugitives. Every moment +his injuries seemed more colossal, more unpardonable, more unendurable. +He had been wounded in his affections and also in his vanity, which was +far more dreadful, and an agonizing thirst for vengeance overpowered +him. + +The great veins began to swell in his neck. He would have choked, had he +not violently torn off his collar and cravat and flung them into the +dust. + +His thirst for blood outstripped his fleet horse, who seemed to him, in +his impetuous haste, to be creeping like a snail. He drove his spurs +deep into the sides of the frightened animal, which almost leaped +through his girth. A less expert horseman would have been unseated; but +an earthquake could not have thrown this Centaur out of his saddle. + +The forests, hills and houses flowed past him like a river. Occasionally +he halted an instant to inquire of some lonely traveler if he had seen a +horse and buggy passing that way, but he was cunning enough to conceal +his anxiety and to hide his joy as every answer made him more certain +that he was on the trail of the fugitives. + +The road was perfectly familiar. He had traversed it a hundred times, +and not having to inquire the way he had only to remember and to +reflect. An undercurrent of speculation had been flowing through his +mind as to where he should overtake the fugitives. + +"They will have arrived almost at the edge of the great forest and I +will let them enter," he said to himself. + +Having reached the foot of a long hill, he dismounted, led his horse to +a little brook and permitted him to drink. When the noble animal had +quenched his thirst, the quack patted his neck, picked him a little wisp +of grass and talked to him as if he were a man. + +"We will rest ourselves a little now, for we shall need all our strength +and nerve. One more b-b-burst of speed and we shall overhaul them. Have +you got your wind, Romeo? Come then, let us be off!" + +Once more he sprang into the saddle, the restive horse pawing the ground +and leaping forward before he was seated. His master held him back while +they ascended the long slope of the hill, and stopped him as they gained +its summit. + +The descent was a gradual one, down into a beautiful valley. For a mile +or two the road was perfectly straight and the rider, shading his eyes, +glanced along it. In the distance a moving object attracted his +attention, and as he gazed at it, long and strainingly, the terrible +smile once more wreathed his white lips. + +He opened the holsters, drew out the pistols, examined them carefully, +replaced them, felt of the stirrup straps, tightened the girth, settled +himself in the saddle and shouted "Go!" + +The command electrified the horse, and he dashed forward again faster +than ever. As they tore down the slope of the hill, it occurred to the +doctor that he had not formed any definite plan as to what he should do +to Pepeeta! "Shall I kill her, also?" he asked himself. + +The thought sent a shudder through him and he instinctively pulled on +the bridle. + +"My heart will tell me," he cried aloud, and loosened the reins of his +horse and of his passions. The very semblance of humanity seemed to be +suddenly obliterated from his countenance. This was no longer a man, but +an agent of destruction rushing like a missile projected from a cannon. +There were only two things present to his consciousness--the carriage +upon which he was swiftly gaining, and the fierce smiting of the horse's +hoofs which seemed to be echoing the cries of his heart for vengeance. +On he swept, nearer, nearer, nearer. He was now within hailing distance, +and his brain reeled; he forgot his discretion and his plan. + +"Halt," he screamed, in a voice that cut the silent air like a knife. + +A face appeared above the top of the buggy, and looked back. It was his +foe. + +With a howl of rage, he snatched a pistol from the holster and fired. +The bullet went wide of the mark and the next instant he saw the +whip-lash cut the air and descend on the flank of the startled mare. The +buggy lurched forward, and for an instant drew rapidly away. Overwhelmed +by the fear that he might be baffled in his vengeance, he drew the other +pistol and fired again more wide of the mark than before. + +With a wild oath he flung the smoking weapons into the road, and again +drove the spurs into the steaming sides of his horse. There could be no +doubt as to the result of the chase after that. The half-maddened +animal was overhauling the fugitives perceptibly at every enormous +stride, and in a few moments more shot by the buggy and up to the head +of the terrified mare. As he did so, his rider reached out his left hand +and caught the mare by her bridle, reined up his own horse and threw +both of the animals back upon their haunches. + +In another instant the two men stood confronting each other on the road, +the quack black and terrible, the Quaker white and calm. Not a word was +spoken, and like two wild beasts emerging from a jungle they sprang at +each other's throats. They were oddly, but not unequally, matched, for +while the doctor was short, thick-set and muscular, but clumsy and +awkward like a bear, David was tall and slim, but lithe and sinewy as a +panther. Locked in each other's arms, they seemed like a single hideous +monster in some sort of convulsion. + +As it was impossible for them in this deadly embrace to strike, they +wrestled rather than fought, and bit with teeth and tore with hands with +equal ferocity. + +At the instant when the two infuriated men seized each other in this +deadly grip, Pepeeta fainted, while the terrified mare backed the buggy +into the bushes by the roadside. Romeo, snorting and pawing the ground, +approached the combatants, snuffed at them a moment as if profoundly +concerned at their strange maneuvers, then, turning away, began to crop +the rich blue grass in entire indifference to the results of this mad +quarrel between two foolish men. + +The combatants surged and swayed back and forth along the dusty road, +tripping and stumbling in vain efforts to throw each other to the +ground. Their danger lent them strength, and their hatred skill. At +last, after protracted efforts, they fell and rolled over and over, now +one on top, now the other. Suddenly and as if by a single impulse +changing their tactics, their right hands unclasped and began to feel +each for the other's throat. A sudden slip of David's hold permitted the +doctor to turn him over, and sprawling across his breast he pinioned him +to the earth. His great hand stole toward the throat of his prostrate +foe and fastened upon it with the grip of an iron vise. + +The beautiful face turned pale, then grew purple. This would have been +the last moment in the life of the Quaker had not his right hand, +convulsively clawing the road, touched a piece of broken rock. It was as +if a life-line had swung up against the hand of a drowning man. + +Through the body which had seemed to be emptied of all its resources, a +tide of reserve energy swelled, under the impulse of which the exhausted +youth untwisted the grip of the iron hand, flung off the heavy body, +mounted upon it, crowded the great head with its matted hair and staring +eyes down into the dust, seized the stone with his right hand, raised +it, and struck. + +The effect of the blow was twofold--paralyzing the brain of the smitten +and the arm of the smiter. Across the low forehead of the quack it left +a great gaping wound like a bloody mouth. A death-like pallor spread +itself over his countenance, the lids dropped back and left the eyes +staring hideously up into the face above them. + +David's arm, spasmodically uplifted for a second blow, was suspended in +air. He did not move for a long time; and when at length his scattered +senses began to return he threw down the stone, rose to his feet and +exclaimed in accents of terror, "My God! I have killed him." + +He could not overcome the fascination of the lifeless face and +wide-staring eyes. They drew him towards them; he stooped down and felt +for the pulse, which was imperceptible; laid his hand upon the heart, +but could not feel it beat; he raised an arm, and it fell back limp and +lifeless. + +Suddenly one elemental passion gave place to another. Horror had +displaced anger, and now in its turn gave way to the instinct of +self-preservation. He looked toward the carriage and saw that Pepeeta +had fallen into a swoon. "Perhaps she has not seen what has happened," +he said to himself, and a cunning smile lit up his pale face. + +Stooping down, he seized the loathsome object lying there in the dust of +the road and dragged it off into the thick shrubbery. Stumbling along, +he came to a hollow made by the roots of an upturned tree. Into this he +flung the thing, hastily; covered it with moss and leaves, and stood +staring stupidly at the rude sepulchre. He experienced a momentary +feeling of relief that the hideous object was out of sight; but the +consciousness of his guilt and his danger soon surged back upon him like +a flood. In such moments the mind works wildly, like a clock with a +broken spring, but sometimes with an astonishing accuracy and wisdom. + +It occurred to him that if he left the body where it was and it should +be eventually discovered, it would afford the gravest suspicions of foul +play; but that if he dragged it back again to the road and laid it with +its face in the dust, against the rock with which the deed was done, it +might pass for an accident. + +Once more that hideous smile of cunning lit up the face which in these +few moments had undergone a mysterious deterioration. He hastily removed +the heap of rubbish, shuddered as he saw the loathsome thing once more +exposed to view, but seized it, dragged it back, and placed it with +consummate art in the position which his criminal prescience had +suggested. + +As it lay there in the road nothing could have seemed more natural than +that it had fallen from the horse; he felt another momentary relief from +terror, in which he cunningly conceived a still more sagacious plan, on +noticing Romeo. They were the best of friends; it was easy to catch him. +He did so, removed the saddle, broke the girth and placed it near the +prostrate figure of the quack. Nothing could have more perfectly +resembled an accident. An adept in crime could not have performed this +task with finer skill, and he was free now to turn to the rest of the +work that he must do to conceal this ghastly deed. + +Approaching the buggy, he found to his immense relief that Pepeeta was +still unconscious. With swift and silent movements he freed the mare, +led her out into the road and drove hurriedly away. + +The wood through which they were passing was wide and somber. The +shadows of the evening had already begun to creep up the tree-trunks and +lurk gloomily among the branches. Plaintive bird songs were heard from +the treetops, and among them those of the mourning dove, whose solemn, +funereal note sent shudders through the heart of the trembling fugitive. + +But all had gone successfully so far, and he actually began to cherish +hope that he would escape detection. There still remained, however, the +uneasy fear that Pepeeta herself had been a witness of the deed. +Horrible as was his own consciousness of his crime, he dared to hope +that he could stand it, if only she did not know! He dreaded to have her +waken, and yet it seemed as if he could not endure the suspense until he +found whether she had seen the deed or not. + +Without trying to rouse her, he drove rapidly forward, and just as he +emerged from the wood came to another brook, so similar to the one by +the side of which the struggle had occurred, that he conceived the idea +of stopping by its side and awakening Pepeeta from her stupor there. +"She will not notice the difference," he said to himself; "and if she +did not witness the fatal blow I can persuade her that I overpowered the +doctor and forced him to return while she was in her swoon." + +Stopping the horse, he lifted her inanimate form from the carriage, bore +it to the side of the brook, laid it gently upon the bank and dashed a +handful of the cold water into her white face. She gasped, opened her +eyes, and, sitting up, looked about her with an expression of terror. + +"Where am I?" she asked. + +"Do you not remember? You are here in the wood where the doctor overtook +us," he replied. + +"And where is he?" + +"He has returned." + +"Has something dreadful happened?" + +"Nothing." + +"But I saw you clench with each other, and it was awful! What happened +then? I must have fainted. Did I?" + +"Yes, you fainted. Were you so frightened?" + +"Oh, terribly! I thought that you would kill each other! It was +horrible, horrible! But where is he now?" + +"He has returned." + +"Returned? Do you mean that he has gone back without me? How did you +persuade him to do that?" + +"How did I persuade him? Ha! ha! I persuaded him with my fists. You +should have seen me, Pepeeta! Are you quite sure that you did not see +me? I should like you to know what a coward he was at last, and how he +went home like a whipped puppy." + +"But did he acknowledge that he had deceived me?" + +"He did indeed, upon his knees." + +"And do you think he has gone, never to return?" + +"Yes, he has gone, never to return," he answered, shuddering at the +double meaning of his words. "He made his confession and relinquished +his claim, and I made him swear that he would renounce you forever. And +so we have nothing to do but forget him and be happy. Are you feeling +better now?" + +"Yes, I am better; but I am not well; I cannot shake it off. It seems +too dreadful to have been real. And yet how much better it is than if +one of you had been killed! Oh! I wish I could stop seeing it" (putting +her hands over her eyes). "Let us go! Let us leave this gloomy wood. Let +us get out into the sunshine. See! It is getting dark. We must not stay +here any longer." + +"Yes, let us go," he said, rising, lifting her gently from the ground +and leading her back to the buggy in which they took their seats and +drove rapidly forward. + +In a few moments they emerged from the forest. The sun was still a +little way above the horizon; its cheerful beams partially restored +Pepeeta's spirits, and David felt a momentary pleasure as he saw a +slight smile upon her pale countenance. + +"Do you feel happier now?" he said. + +"Yes, a little," she answered, looking into his face with eyes suffused +with tears. "And I am so thankful that you are safe!" + +"And so you fainted before we fell?" he asked, compelled to reassure +himself. + +"Did you fall?" she said, trembling again and laying her hand upon his +arm. + +"There, there," he answered gently; "I ought not to have asked you. We +must never allude to it again. We must forget it. Will you try?" + +"Yes, I will try, but it is hard. It belongs to the past, and we must +live in the present and in the future. I will try. I love you so, and I +am so thankful that you are safe." As she said this, she took his hand +in both of hers and pressed it to her breast. + +This tender caress produced a revulsion in his heart and he shuddered. +Pepeeta observed it. "What makes you tremble so?" she asked. + +"Nothing," he answered, regaining his self-control. "It is only that I +have been very angry, and I cannot recover from it at once." + +"No wonder," she said, taking his hand again and kissing it. + +In the distance they saw the steeple of a church. "Look," said David, +"there must be a village near. We will top and rest here to-night, and +in the morning we will push on toward New Orleans and forget the past." + +They rode in silence. Pepeeta's thoughts were full of gladness; and +David's full of agony--they rushed tumultuously back and forth through +his mind like contrary winds through a forest. + +"Was it not enough that I should be an Adam, and fall? Must I also +become a Cain and go forth with the brand of a murderer on my forehead?" +he kept saying to himself. + +His life seemed destined to reproduce that whole series of archetypal +experiences, whose records make the Hebrew Scriptures the inspired +mirror of human life. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +A FUGITIVE AND A VAGABOND + + "That is the bitterest of all,--to wear the yoke of our own + wrong-doing!"--Daniel Deronda. + + +The morning after the fight David and Pepeeta hurried on to Louisville, +and from there took a steamer to New Orleans. + +However hard it is to find stepping-stones when one wishes to rise, +those by which he can descend have been skilfully planted at every stage +of life's journey, and Satanic ingenuity could not have devised an +instrument better fitted to complete the destruction of the young +mystic's moral nature than a Mississippi steamboat, such as he found +lying at the wharf. He had been subjected to the fascination of love, +now he was to be tried by that of money. It is by a series of such +consecutive assaults upon every avenue of approach to the soul that it +is at last reduced to ruin. + +Pepeeta was radiant with joy as they embarked. "How happy I am!" she +cried. "It seems as if I had left my old life and the old world behind +me!" + +"And I am happy to see you glad," answered the wretched youth, whose +heart lay in his bosom like lead and whose conscience was writhing with +a torture of whose like he had never even dreamed. They embarked +unknown and unobserved; but as soon as the first confusion had passed, +their singular beauty and unusual appearance made them the cynosure of +every eye. + +"Who is that splendid fellow?" women asked each other, as David passed +with Pepeeta on his arm, while under their breaths men swore that his +companion was the loveliest woman who had ever set foot on a Mississippi +steamer. + +The pilot forgot to turn his wheel and the stevedores to put out the +gang plank when she stood looking at them. Love, and her freedom, had +transfigured her. She was radiant with health, happiness and hope, and +entered into the novelty and excitement of this floating world with the +ardor of a child. + +All was gaiety and animation oh board the vessel. People from countries +widely separated mingled with each other and chatted with the greatest +freedom on every subject of human interest. Acquaintances were made +without the formality of an introduction, and it was not long before the +two adventurers were drawn into conversation. + +"I have traveled all over the world," said a gentleman of foreign air, +"but I have never seen anything so picturesque as this boat. Look at the +variegated colors and styles of these costumes, at the manifold types of +countenance, at the blending of races--black and white and red! Listen +to the discordant but altogether charming sounds, the ringing of the +great bell, the roar of the whistle, the splash of the paddlewheels, +the songs of the negroes, and the clatter of dishes in the cabins! It is +a hurly-burly of noise! Then what varied scenery, what constant +excitement at the landing, what a hodge-podge, a pot-pourri of +merchandise! There is nothing like it in the world." + +"Wait until you see a race with another steamer," said an officious +Yankee, who rejoiced in a knowledge which frequent trips had given him. + +"Are they exciting?" asked the foreigner. + +"Well I should say! I have seen horse races and prize fights in my day, +but I never ran against anything that shook up my nerves like a race +between two of these river boats! Every pound of steam is crowded on, +the engines groan like imprisoned devils, a darkey sits on the safety +valve, the stokers jam the furnaces, the passengers crowd the gunwales, +everybody yells at the top of his voice until pandemonium is mere +silence compared to it! And then the betting! Lord, you never saw +betting if you never saw a river race." + +"They bet, do they?" + +"Bet? They don't do anything else! Just got on at Louisville? Oh! well, +you'll see sights in the cabin to-night that will open your eyes. Isn't +that so?" he asked, turning to a southern planter who had been edging +his way toward Pepeeta. + +"Reckon the gentleman'll see a little gambling, sah, if that's what you +refeh to. I've heard those that ought to know say that a Mississippi +river boat is the toughest spot on top of earth for little games of +pokah and that soht of thing, sah. 'Spect the gentleman can be +accommodated if he likes a lively game of chance." + +"I don't expect to be surprised in that line," the foreigner said, with +the air of one who knew a thing or two; "for I have been in Monte Carlo, +Carlsbad and every famous gambling place in Europe." + +"Well, sah, I don't know; I have never been in those places myself, but +I have heard those who have say that what they play there is mere 'penny +ante' to what goes on in one of these yere Mississippi boats. Like a +little game now and then myself, sah. Glad to have you join me." + +While these men and others pretended to address their remarks to David +or to each other, their free glances were more and more directed to +Pepeeta who began to be embarrassed by them and gently drew David away +to more retired places. He went with her reluctantly, for he was in need +of excitement. The thought of his crime was constantly agitating his +heart, the prostrate form of the doctor with the bloody wound on his +forehead was never absent from his mind, and through all the ceaseless +rumble around him he could hear the dull thud of the stone upon the hard +skull. The efforts which he made to throw off these horrible weights +that crushed him were like those of a man awakening from a nightmare. He +scarcely dared to speak for fear of uttering words which would betray +him and which seemed to tremble on his lips. Had he been on shore he +would have fled to the solitude of a forest; but here he was +resistlessly impelled to that other solitude--a crowd. The necessity of +being gay with his beautiful bride and of concealing every trace of his +terror and remorse taxed his resources to their utmost limit, and in his +nervousness he kept Pepeeta moving with him all day long. At its close +she was completely exhausted, and retired early to her stateroom. Freed +from her company and craving relief from thought, David made his way +straight to the gambling tables where the nightly games were in full +swing. + +The claim of the southerner that the excitement at those tables, when +the river traffic was at its height, had never been surpassed in the +history of games of chance, was no exaggeration. Not a semblance of +restraint was put upon the players, and experts from all over the world +gathered to pluck the exhaustless supply of victims, as buzzards +assemble to feed on carrion. Fortunes were made and lost in a night. Men +sat down to play worth thousands of dollars, and rose paupers! They +staked and lost their money, their slaves, their business and their +homes. In the wild frenzy which such misfortunes kindle the most +shocking crimes were committed, but the criminals were never called to +account, for the law was powerless. + +What the fugitive sought was diversion, and he found it! Tragedies +became commonplace in those cabins. Men crowded into single hours the +experience and excitement of months. It was this very night that an +encounter occurred which is still a tradition on the river. + +An old planter approached a table where his son, who did not know of his +father's presence on the boat, was playing. He stood in the background +and watched a gambler strip the boy of his last penny, and when the +young fellow rose from his chair, white as a sheet, he turned to look +into the whiter face of his father. The enraged parent did not speak a +word, but took the seat left vacant by the boy and commenced playing. +Rage at the financial loss, mortification at the boy's defeat, and old +scores to be settled with this very gambler, conspired to rouse him to a +frenzy. His terrible earnestness paralyzed the dealer, who seemed to +form some premonition of a tragic termination and lost his nerve. In a +little while, in the presence of a crowd of excited spectators, the +father won back the exact amount his son had lost, and then rising from +his chair sprang at the gambler, seized him, dragged him from the cabin +and flung him into the river. + +Terrible as was the furor which this tragedy aroused, it subsided almost +as soon as the ripples of the water which closed over the drowning man, +and the players returned to their games as if nothing had happened. + +In the months which they had spent together the quack had indoctrinated +David into all the best-known secrets of this vice, and besides this, +had familiarized him with the use of a certain "hold out" of his own +invention, with which he had achieved incredible results and which was +new to the fraternity of the river. Having watched the players for a +long time, David convinced himself that he could employ this trick +successfully, and took his place at the table. + +The young man's nerves were tested by the circumstances in which he +found himself, if nerves are tested to tension anywhere, for he faced +the most experienced masters of the craft who could be found anywhere in +the world, and staked not only his little fortune, but his existence, +for, as he had just seen, these determined and reckless men thought no +more of taking life than of taking money. + +David felt his way along with a coolness that astonished himself, and +his very first experiment with the delicate apparatus concealed in his +sleeve was such a brilliant triumph that he saw it was undetected. With +a strengthened confidence, he made the stakes larger and larger, and his +winnings increased so rapidly as to make him the center of attention. +The crowd swarmed round the table. The spectators became breathless. The +gamblers were first astonished, then bewildered. As their nerve failed +them, David's assurance increased, and when day broke ten thousand +dollars lay upon the table before him as the result of his skilful and +desperate efforts. + +Their loss astonished and enraged the gamblers to such a degree that +with a preconcerted signal they sprang at their opponent, determined to +regain their money by violence. The move was not unexpected, nor was he +unprepared. He fought as he had played, and so won the sympathies of the +bystanders that in an instant there was a general melee in which he was +helped to escape with the winnings. + +He was the hero of the trip, and a career had opened before him. +Satellites began to circle around him and to solicit his friendship and +patronage. + +When he disembarked at New Orleans he had already entered into a +partnership with one of the most notable members of the gambling +fraternity, and purchased an interest in one of those "palaces" where +games of chance attracted and destroyed their thousands. + +The newspapers made the gay throngs of that gayest of all cities +familiar with the incidents of David's advent. He and Pepeeta became the +talk of the town. They rented a fashionable house, and swung out into +the current of the mad life of the metropolis of the South. + +For a little while this excitement and glory softened the pain in the +heart of the man who believed himself to be a murderer and encouraged +him to hope that it might eventually pass away. He played recklessly but +successfully, for he was a transient favorite of the fickle goddess. +When gambling lost its power to drown the voice of conscience, there +was the race, the play and the wine cup! To each of them appealing in +turn, he went whirling madly around the outer circles of the great +maelstrom in which so many brilliant youths were swallowed in those +ante-bellum days. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +ALIENATION + + "There can never be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual + respect, until, in their dialogue, each stands for the whole + world."--Emerson. + + +For two years David and Pepeeta lived together in New Orleans. They were +years full of import, and of trouble. A baby came to them, lingered a +few weeks, and then died. + +David pursued the occupation he had chosen, with the vicissitudes of +fortune usually attending the votaries of games of chance, and the moral +and spiritual deterioration which they invariably develop. + +Pepeeta altered strangely. Her bloom disappeared and an expression of +sadness became habitual on her face. She was surrounded by luxuries of +every kind, but they did not give her peace. With an ambition which +never flagged she sought self improvement, and attained it to a +remarkable degree. Endowed with an inherited aptitude for culture, she +read and studied books, observed and imitated elegant manners, and +rapidly absorbed the best elements of such higher life as she had access +to, until her natural beauty and charm were wonderfully enhanced. Yet +she was not happy, for her life with David had brought her nothing but +surprise and disappointment; something had come between them, she knew +not what. + +"Dey des growed apaht," said the old negro "mammy," who was with them +during those two years. "Seemed to des tech each other like mahbles at a +single point, stade of meltin' togedder lak two drops of watah runnin' +down a window pane. Mars' David, he done went he own way, drinkin', +gamblin' and cussin'; he lak a madman when he baby die. He seem skeered +when he see Miss Pepeeta. She look at him wid her big black eyes full of +wonder and s'prise, stretch out her li'l han's, and when he run away or +struck her, she des go out to the li'l baby's grave, creeping along lak +a shadder through the gyahden, soft lak and still. Dar she des set down +all alone and sigh lak de breeze in de ole pine tree. Some days she gone +away all alone and de brack folks say she wanner all aroun' in de woods. +When Sunday come, she des slip into de churches lak a li'l mouse and +nibble up de gospel crumbs and den run away before de priests cotch her. +Dark days dose, in de ole Ballantrae mansion! And den come de night when +dey pahted. You done heah about dat?" + +The old colored mammy was right. "They just grew apart," as it was +inevitable that they should. Perfect self-manifestation is the true +principle and law of love, and when a guilty secret comes between two +lovers, suspicion and fear inevitably result. They become +incomprehensible to each other. + +David's secret preyed upon him night and day like that insect which, +having once entered the brain of an elk, gnaws ceaselessly at it until +the miserable victim's last breath is drawn. While he retained for +Pepeeta a devotion which tormented him with its intensity, his guilt +made him tremble in her presence. He shuddered when he approached her, +like a worshiper who enters a shrine with a stolen offering. Instead of +calming and soothing him as she would have done had he only suffered +some misfortune instead of committing a sin, she filled him with an +unendurable agitation. If the nerves are diseased, a flute can rasp them +as terribly as a file. + +As for Pepeeta, she must have been bewildered by this phenomenon which +she could not possibly comprehend, for while she saw her lover swayed +from his orbit she could not see the planet which produced the +disturbance. Feeling that he had not given her his full confidence she +resented his distrust, and as his melancholy and irritability increased, +withdrew more and more into herself, and in that solitude sought the +companionship of God. + +It was a frightful discipline; but she was sanctified by it. + +Day by day she became more patient, gentle and resigned, and in +proportion as she grew in these graces, her lover's awe and fear +increased, and so they drifted farther and farther apart. + +Such relationships cannot continue forever, and they generally terminate +in tragedy. + +After the first few months' excitement of his new life, David's +conscience began to torment him anew. He became melancholy, then moody, +and finally fell into the habit of sitting for hours among the crowds +which swarmed the gambling rooms, brooding over his secret. From stage +to stage in the evolution of his remorse he passed until he at last +reached that of superstition, which attacks the soul of the gambler as +rust does iron. And so the wretched victim of many vices sat one evening +at the close of the second year with his hat drawn down over his eyes, +reflecting upon his past. + +"What's the matter, Davy?" asked a player who had lost his stake, and +was whistling good-humoredly as he left the room. + +"Nothing," he muttered. + +"Brace up, old man! There is no use taking life so hard! You've got +everything, and I've got nothing; and I am happy and you are miserable. +Brace up, I say!" And with that he slapped him familiarly on the +shoulder. + +"Leave me alone," David growled, and reached for a glass mug containing +a strong decoction to which he was resorting more and more as his +troubles grew intolerable. A strange thing happened! As he put it to his +lips its bottom dropped upon the table and the contents streamed into +his lap and down to the floor. It was the straw that broke the camel's +back, for it had aroused a superstitious terror. + +With a smothered cry he sprang to his feet and gazed around upon his +companions. They, too, had observed the untoward accident, and to them +as well as to him it was a symbol of disaster. Not one of them doubted +that the bottom would fall out of his fortunes as out of his glass, for +by such signs as these the gambler reads his destiny. + +He pulled himself together and made a jest of the accident, but it was +impossible for him to dissipate the impression it had made on the minds +of his companions or to banish the gloom from his own soul. And so after +a few brave but futile efforts to break the spell of apprehension, he +slipped quietly away, opened the door and passed out into the night. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +THE INEVITABLE HOUR + + "How shall I lose the sin yet keep the sense, + And love th' offender, yet detest the offense?" + --Pope. + + +After wandering aimlessly about the city for awhile the half-crazed +gambler turned his footsteps toward home. He longed for and yet dreaded +its quiet and repose. The forces of attraction and repulsion were so +nearly balanced that for a long time he oscillated before his own door +like a piece of iron hung between the opposite poles of a battery. + +At last he entered, both hoping and fearing that Pepeeta would be +asleep. He had a vague presentiment that he was on the verge of some +great event. The guilty secret so long hidden in the depths of his soul +seemed to have festered its way dangerously near to the surface, and he +felt that if anything more should happen to irritate him he might do +something desperate. + +So quiet had been his movements that he stood at Pepeeta's door before +she knew that he had entered the house, and when he saw her kneeling by +her bedside he stamped his foot in rage. The worshiper, startled by the +interruption, although she was momentarily expecting it, hastily arose. + +As she turned toward him, he saw that there was a light on her pale +countenance which reflected the peace of God to whom she had been +praying, as worshipers always and inevitably reflect, however feebly, +the character of what they worship. Her beauty, her humility, her +holiness goaded him to madness. He hated her, and yet he loved her. He +could either have killed her or died for her. + +She smiled him a welcome which revealed her love, but did not conceal +her sadness nor her suffering, and, approaching him, extended her hands +for an embrace. He pushed her aside and flung himself heavily into a +chair. + +"You are tired," she said soothingly, and stroked his hair. + +He did not answer, and her caress both tranquilized and frenzied him. + +She placed before him the little lunch which she always prepared with +her own hands and kept in readiness for his return. + +"Take it away," he said. + +She obeyed, and returning seated herself upon an ottoman at his feet. + +The silence was one which it seemed impossible to break, but which at +last became unendurable. + +"How often have I told you never to let me find you on your knees when I +come home?" he at last asked, brutally. + +"Oh! my beloved," she exclaimed, "you will at least permit me to kneel +to you! See! I am here in an attitude of supplication! Listen to me! +Answer me! What is the matter? Do you not love me any more? Tell me!" + +He drew away his hands which she had clasped, and folded them across his +breast. + +"What has come between us?" she continued. "Tell me why it is that +instead of growing together, we are continually drawing apart? Sometimes +I feel that we are drifting eternally away from each other. I can no +longer get near to you. An ocean seems to roll between us! What does it +mean? Is this the nature of love? Does it only last for a little time? +Do you not love me any more? Will you never love me again?" + +He still gazed sullenly at the floor. + +"Will you not answer me?" she begged imploringly. "I cannot endure it +any longer. My heart will break. I am a woman, you must remember that! I +need love and sympathy so much. It is my daily bread. What is the +matter? I beseech you to tell me! Is it your business? Do you feel, as I +do, that it is wrong? I have sometimes thought so, and that you were +worried by it and would be glad to give it up but for the fear that it +might deprive me of some of these luxuries. Is it that? Oh! you do not +know me. You do not know how happy I should be to leave these things +forever, and to go out into the street this very night a pauper. It is +wrong, David. I see it now. I feel it in the depths of my heart." + +"Wrong, is it," he cried savagely, "and whose fault is it that I am in +this wrong business?" + +"It is mine," she said, "mine! I own it. It was I who led you astray. +How often and how bitterly have I regretted it! How strange it is, that +love like mine could ever have done you harm. I do not understand this. +I cannot see how love can do harm. I have loved you so truly and so +deeply, and I would give my life for you, and yet this love of mine has +been the cause of all your trouble! It would seem that love ought to +bless us. Would you not think so?" + +He sat silent; any one but Pepeeta could have seen that this silence +would soon be broken by an explosion. + +"Speak to me, my love!" she pleaded, "speak to me. I confess that I have +wronged you. But is there not something that I can do to make you happy? +Surely a wrong like this cannot be irreparable. Tell me something that I +can do to make you happy!" + +With a violent and convulsive effort, he pushed her away and exclaimed +fiercely, "Leave me! Do not touch me! I hate you!" + +"Hate me?" she cried, "hate me? Oh! David. You cannot mean it. You +cannot mean that you hate me?" + +"But I do!" he exclaimed bitterly. "I hate you. You have ruined me, and +now you confess it. From the time that I first saw you I have never had +a moment's peace. Why did you ever cross my path? Could you not have +left me alone in my happiness and innocence? Look at me now. See what +you have brought me to. I am ruined! But I am not alone. You have pulled +yourself down with me. What will you say when I tell you that you are +involved in a crime that must drag us both to hell?" + +"A crime?" she cried, clasping her hands in terror. + +"Yes, a crime. You need not look so innocent. You are as guilty as I, or +at least you are as deeply involved. We are bound together in misery. We +are doomed." + +"Doomed! Doomed! What do you mean? Tell me, I implore you--- do not +speak in riddles!" + +"Tell you? Do you wish to know? Are you in earnest? Then I will! You are +not my wife! There! It is out at last!" + +Pepeeta sprang to her feet and stood staring at him in horror. + +"Not your wife?" she gasped. + +"No, not my wife," he said, repeating the bitter truth. "I deceived you. +You were married to your beast of a husband lawfully enough; but as you +would not leave him willingly, I determined that you should leave him +any way. And so I bribed the justice to deceive you." + +"You-bribed-the-justice-to-deceive-me?" + +"Yes, bribed him. Do you understand? You see now what your cursed beauty +has brought you to?" + +She stood before him white and silent. + +He had risen, and they were confronting each other with their sins and +their sorrows between them. + +It was as if a flash of lightning had in an instant lit up the darkness +of her whole existence, and she saw in one swift glance not only her +misery, but her sin. He was cruel; but he was right. She had been +ignorant; but she had not been altogether innocent. There was a period +in this tragedy when she had gone against the vague but powerful protest +of her soul. With a swift and true perception she traced her present +sorrow to that moment in the twilight when, against that protest, she +besought David to accompany them on their travels. She felt, but did not +observe nor heed that admonition. She had even forgotten it, but now it +rose vividly before her memory. + +These moments of revision, when the logic of events throws into clear +light the vaguely perceived motives of the soul, are always dramatic and +often terrible. + +It was Pepeeta who broke the silence following David's outburst. In a +voice preternaturally calm, she said, "We are in the presence of God, +and I demand of you the truth. Is what you have told me true?" + +"As true as life. As true as death. As true as hell," he answered +bitterly. + +"This, then," she said, "is the clue to all this mystery. The tangled +thread has begun to unravel. Many times this suspicion has forced itself +upon my mind; but it was too terrible to believe! And yet I, who could +not endure the suspicion, must now support the reality." + +They had not taken their eyes from each other and were trying to +penetrate each other's minds, but realized that it was impossible. There +was in each something that the other could not comprehend. + +The strain on his overwrought nerves soon became unendurable to David, +and he sank into a chair. + +"Well," he said, as he did so, "what are you going to do about it?" + +She had not at first realized that the emergency called for action, but +this inquiry awakened her to the consciousness that she was in a +situation from which she must escape by an effort of her will. She was +before a horrible dilemma and upon one horn or the other she must be +cruelly impaled. + +But David, who asked the question, had not realized this necessity at +all. + +"Do?" she said, "do? Must I do something? Yes, you are right. We cannot +go on as we are. Something must be done. But what? Is it possible that I +must return to my husband? How can I do that--I who cannot think of him +without loathing! What is the matter? Why do you tremble so? Is it then +as terrible to you as to me? I see from your emotion that I am right. +And yet I cannot see what good it will do! How can it undo the wrong? It +will be a certain sort of reparation, but it cannot bring him happiness, +for I cannot give him back my heart. To whom will it bring happiness? +Has happiness become impossible? Are we all three doomed to eternal +misery? Oh! David, why have you done this?" + +He did not reply, but sat cowering in his chair. + +"Forgive me," she cried, when she noticed his despair, "I did not mean +to reproach you, but I am so bewildered! And yet I see my duty! If he is +my husband, I must go back to him. A wife's place is by her husband's +side. I do not see how I can do it, but I must. How hard it is! I cannot +realize it. The very thought of seeing him again makes me shudder! And +yet I must go!" + +"It is impossible," gasped the trembling creature to whom she looked for +confirmation. + +"Why impossible?" + +"Because, because--he--is--dead," he whispered, through his dry lips. + +"Dead? Did you say dead?" Pepeeta cried. "When did he die? How did he +die?" + +"I killed him," he shouted, springing to his feet and waving his hands +wildly. "There! It has told itself. I knew it would. It has been eating +its way out of my heart for months. I should have died if I had kept it +secret for another moment. I feel relieved already. You do not know what +it means to guard a secret night and day for years, do you? Oh, how +sweet it is to tell it at last. I killed him! I killed him! I struck him +with a stone. I crushed his skull and turned him face downward in the +road and left him there so that when they found him they would think +that he had fallen from his horse. It was well done, for one who had +had no training in crime! No one has suspected it. I am in no danger. +And yet I could not keep the secret any longer. Explain that, will you? +If my tongue had been torn out by the roots, my eyes would have looked +it, and if my eyes had been seared with a red-hot iron, my hands would +have written it. A crime can find a thousand tongues! And now that I +have told it, I feel so much happier. You would not believe it, Pepeeta. +I am like myself again. I feel as if I should never be unkind or +irritable any more. The load has fallen from my heart. Come, now, and +kiss me. Let me take you in my arms." + +Extending his hands, he approached her. As he did so, the look of horror +with which she had regarded him intensified and she retreated before him +until she reached the wall, looking like a sea-bird hurled against a +precipice by a storm. Such dread was on her face that he dared not touch +her. + +"What is the matter?" he said. "Are you afraid of me?" + +She did not reply, but gazed at him as if he were some monster suddenly +risen from the deep. He endured the glance for a single moment, and +then, realizing the crime which he had committed had excited an +uncontrollable repulsion for him in her soul, he staggered backward and +sank once more into his chair, the picture of helpless and hopeless +despair. + +For a long time Pepeeta gazed at him without moving or speaking. And +then, as she beheld his misery, the look of horror slowly melted into +one of pity, until she seemed like an angel who from some vast distance +surveys a sinful man. Gradually she began to realize that he who had +committed this dreadful deed was her own lover, and that it was the +result of that guilty affection which they bore each other. The +consciousness of her own complicity softened her. She moved towards him; +she spoke. + +"Forgive me," she said, "for seeming even for a moment to despise and +abhor you. It was all so sudden. I do not mean to condemn you. I do not +mean to act or feel as if I were any less guilty than you are in all +this wrong. But when one has to face something awful without +preparation, it is very hard. No wonder that we do not know what to do. +Who but God can extricate us from this trouble? We are both guilty, +David. I think that it is because I have had so large a share in all the +rest that has been wrong that I cannot now feel towards you as I think I +ought. It is true that you have injured me terribly and irretrievably. +It is true that your hands are stained with blood, and yet I love you! +My heart yearns for you this moment as never before since we have known +each other. I long to take you in my arms." + +He interrupted her by springing from his chair and attempting to embrace +her; but she waved him back with a strange majesty in her mien, and +continued. "I long to take you to my heart and comfort you. I could live +with you or I could die with you. But there is a voice within my soul +that tells me that we must part. Lives cannot be bound together by +crime. While misfortunes and mistakes may knit the hearts of lovers +together, evil deeds must force them apart! We are not lawfully married, +and so--" + +"But we can be!" he exclaimed. + +"No," she answered, in a voice that sounded to him like that of destiny. +"No, we cannot. No one would marry us if the facts were known. And if we +concealed them from others, we could not hide them from ourselves! We +have no right to each other. We could not respect and therefore we could +not truly love each other. Into every moment of our lives this guilty +secret would intrude. No, it is impossible. I see it clearly. Every +passing moment only makes it more plain. It is terrible, but it is +necessary, and what must be, must!" + +"We shall not part!" he cried, springing towards her and seizing her by +the wrist. "God has bound us together and no man shall put us asunder! +We are as firmly linked by vice as by virtue. This secret will draw us +together! We cannot keep away from each other. I should find you if you +were in heaven and I in hell. You are mine! mine, I say! Nothing shall +part us. Have I not suffered for you and sinned for you? What better +title is there than that? It was not the sin, but the secret which has +alienated us, and now that I am not compelled to guard it any longer, +there can be no more trouble between us. The deed has passed +unsuspected. We should have heard of it long ago if any one had ever +doubted that it was an accident. Let the dead past bury its dead! Let us +be happy." + +He looked down upon her as if his will were irresistible; but she +remained unmoved and immovable, and gazed at him with deep, sad eyes in +which he saw his doom. + +"No," she answered, calmly, "it is impossible. You need not argue. You +cannot change my mind. I see it all too clearly. We must part." + +"Oh! pity me," he cried, falling on his knees. "What shall I do? I +cannot bear this burden alone. It will crush me. Have mercy, Pepeeta. Do +not drive me away. I cannot endure to go forth with this brand of Cain +upon my forehead and realize that I shall never hear from your lips +another word of love or comfort. Pity me. You are not God. He has not +put justice into your hands for execution. You are only human!" + +"Alas," she cried, "and all too human. But, my beloved, I am not acting +for myself. It is not my mind or heart that speaks. It is God speaking +through me. I feel myself to be acting under an influence apart from +myself. We have resisted these voices and this influence too long. Now +we must obey them." + +"But, Pepeeta," he continued, "you do not really think that you have the +power to suppress the love you feel for me?" + +"I shall not try," she answered. + +"But can you not see that this passion of ours will bring us together +again? Sooner or later, love will conquer. It conquers or crushes. +Everything gives way to it at last. It disrupts the most solemn +contracts. It burns the strongest bonds like tow. Always and everywhere, +men and women who love will come together. It is the law of life, it is +destiny. We cannot remain apart, we are linked together for time and +eternity." + +She listened to him calmly until he had finished and then said, +"Nevertheless, I must go. And I will go now; delay is useless. I see +only too clearly that as long as I am near, you must steadily get worse +instead of better. While you possess the fruits of your sin you will not +truly repent. You must either surrender them or be deprived of them. We +can never become accustomed to this awful secret. Our lives are doomed +to loneliness and sorrow; we must accept our destiny; we must go forth +alone to seek the forgiveness of God. Good-bye; but remember, David, in +every hour of trial, wherever you may be, there will be a never-ceasing +prayer ascending to God for you. My life shall be devoted to +supplication. I shall never lose hope; I shall never doubt. Love like +that I bear you must in some way be redemptive in its nature. All will +be well. Once more, good-bye." + +She smiled on him with unutterable tenderness, and with her eyes still +fixed upon his haggard face began to move slowly toward the door. + +He did not stir; he could not move, but remained upon his knees with his +hands extended towards her in supplication. + +Like some exalted figure in a dream he saw her vanish from his sight; +the world became empty and dark; his powers of endurance had been +overtaxed; he lost all consciousness, and fell forward on the floor. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +A SIGNAL IN THE NIGHT + + "How far that little candle throws his beams!" + + --Merchant of Venice. + + +A month of dangerous and almost fatal sickness followed. When at last, +through the care of a faithful negro "mammy," the much-enduring man +crept out from the valley of the shadow of death, he learned that +Pepeeta had secured a little room in a tenement house and was supporting +herself with her needle, in the use of which she had become an expert in +those glad hours when she made her baby's clothes, and those sad ones +when she sat far into the night awaiting David's return. + +On the morning of the first day in which he was permitted to leave the +house he made his way to Pepeeta's new quarters. + +"And so this is to be her home," he said with a shudder as he looked up +to the attic window. Every day this pale young man was seen, by the +curious neighbors, hovering about the place. As for the object of his +love and solicitude, she began at once to be a bread-winner. The +delicate girl who never in her life until now had experienced a care +about the necessities of existence began to struggle for bread in +company with the thousands of poor and needy, creatures by whom she +found herself surrounded. The only hunger she experienced was that of +the heart. She soon became conscious of David's presence, and derived +from it a pleasure which only added to her pain. She avoided him as best +she could, and her determination and her sanctity prevented him from +approaching her. + +David could never remember how many days were passed in this way, for he +lost count of time, and lived more like a man in a dream than like one +in a world of life and action. + +But as his strength slowly returned, he grew more and more restive under +the restraint which Pepeeta's will imposed upon him. And so, while he +did not dare to approach her in person, he determined to put his case to +a final test, and if he could not win her back to leave forever a place +in which he was doomed to suffer perpetual torment. + +In the execution of this purpose, he wrote her a letter in which, after +passionately pleading for her love, he asked her to give him a sign of +willingness to take him once more back into her life. "If I may cherish +hope of your ultimate relenting," he wrote, "place your candle on the +window sill. I will wait until midnight, and if you extinguish it then, +I shall accept your decision as final, and you will be responsible for +what follows. I am a desperate man, and life without you has become +intolerable." + +With this letter in his hand, he waited until the street was quiet and +the halls of the tenement house deserted, and then crept up the long +staircase with trembling knees. + +On tiptoe he picked his way across the corridor and slipped the note +under the door. So quietly did he step that he did not hear his own +footfall; but it did not escape the ears of the woman who sat stitching +her life into the garment lying upon her knees. There is often in a +footfall music sweeter than bird songs or harp tones. + +Having thrust the letter under the door, David fled hastily down the +stairway and into the street, where he began to pace back and forth like +a sentry on his beat, never for a single instant losing sight of the +window whence streamed the feeble rays of the candle from which he was +to receive the signal of hope or despair. + +Never did a condemned felon in a cell watch for the coming of a +messenger of pardon with more wildly beating heart than his as he gazed +at that window up in the wall of the gloomy tenement house. Never did a +mariner on a storm-tossed vessel keep his eye more resolutely fixed on +beams from a distant lighthouse. + +It was then ten o'clock, and as he watched the slow-moving hands upon +the moonlit dial in the church tower, it seemed to him they were held +back by invisible fingers, and there came to his mind a forgotten story +of a man who, having been accidentally imprisoned in a sepulchre, +suffered in the twenty minutes which elapsed before his release all the +pangs of starvation, so powerfully was his imagination excited. This +story which he had once discredited he now believed, for it seemed to +him as if eternities were being crowded into single moments. + +He had also heard that drowning men could review their entire lives in +the few instants that preceded their loss of consciousness, and he +acquired a new comprehension of this mystery. All the experiences of his +entire existence swept through his mind again and again with a rapidity +and a distinctness that astonished him. Like a great shuttle darting +back and forth through a fabric, his mind seemed to be passing again and +again forward and backward through all the scenes of the past. Finally, +and after what seemed uncounted ages, the great clock struck the hour of +midnight. One, two, three--he stood like a man rooted to the +ground,--four, five, six--his heart beat louder than the bell,--seven, +eight, nine--the blood seemed bursting through his temples,--ten, +eleven, twelve!--the light went out! The universe seemed to have been +instantaneously swallowed up in darkness. He could not see the figure +that crept to the window and gazed down upon him from behind the drapery +of the curtains. He did not know that Pepeeta had fallen upon her knees +in an agony deeper than his own, and was gazing down at him through +streaming tears. In those few succeeding moments the sense of his +personal loss was displaced by a sudden and overpowering sense of his +personal guilt. The full consciousness of his sin burst upon him. He saw +the selfishness of his love and the wickedness of his lust in a light +brighter than day. + +There is a kind of rhododendron about Trebizond of which the bees make a +honey that drives people mad! He saw that illicit love was that honey of +Trebizond! He felt, as he had never felt before, the pressure of that +terrible power that over all and through all the discords and sins of +life makes resistlessly for righteousness. He perceived that a system of +wheels is attached to every thought and act, and that, each one sets in +motion the entire machinery of justice. He felt that every sleepless +starry eye in heaven penetrated the guilty secrets of his soul and was +pledged to the execution of judgment. + +These perceptions confounded him with fear. His thoughts ceased to move +in order, tossing and teasing each other like straws in the wind. They +ceased to illumine the depths of his soul and only hung like flickering +candles above a dark mine. + +Whether he looked up or down, without or within, he saw no hope, but it +was not until after the lapse of many and unnoted moments that the +disturbed machinery of his mind began to move. He awakened as from a +nightmare, drew his hands across his eyes and looked this way and that +as if to get his bearings. + +"What next?" he said aloud, as if speaking to some one else. Receiving +no answer, he turned instinctively toward his gambling house, and went +stumbling along through the deserted streets. What is a man, after all, +but a stumbling machine? Progress is made by falling forward over +obstacles! The poor stumbler tottered across his own threshold into that +brilliant room where he had always received an enthusiastic welcome, but +which he had not visited since his sickness. If ever a man needed +kindness and encouragement it was he; but his sensitive spirit instantly +discovered that all was changed. + +His superstitious companions had not forgotten the broken glass, and had +heard of his subsequent calamities. With them the lucky alone were the +adorable! The gods of the temples of fortunes are easily and quickly +dethroned and the worshipers had already prostrated themselves before +other shrines. + +The coldness of his greeting sent a chill to his already benumbed heart +and increased his desperation. He was nervous, excited, depressed, and +feeling the need of something to distract his thought from his troubles, +he sat down and began to play; but from the first deal he lost--lost +steadily and heavily. + +The habitues of the place exchanged significant glances as much as to +say, "I told you so!" + +Whispered phrases passed from lip to lip. + +"He is playing wild." + +"He has lost his nerve." + +"His luck has turned." + +And so indeed it had! Within a few short hours he had staked his entire +fortune and lost it. It had gone as easily and as quickly as it had +come. + +"I guess that is about all," he said, pushing himself wearily back from +the table at which he had just parted with the title to his desolated +home. + +"Shall I stake you, Davy?" asked one of his friends, touched by the +pathos of the haggard face and hopeless voice. + +"No," he answered, rising. "I have played enough. I am going away. +Good-bye, boys." + +Without another word, he left them and passed out of the door. + +"Good-bye," they cried, as he vanished, scarcely raising their eyes from +the tables. + +Even in a crowd like that there will generally be found some heart which +still retains its tenderness. The young man who had offered to stake +him, followed the ruined gambler into the street. + +"Where are you going, old man?" he said kindly, slipping his hand +through David's arm. + +"I don't know," he answered absently. + +"Are you dead broke, Davy?" + +"Dead broke," in a lifeless echo. + +"Will you accept a little loan? You can't go far without money." + +"It's no use." + +"Take it! I wouldn't have had it if it hadn't been for you, and I won't +have it long whether you take it or not." + +As he spoke he slipped a roll of bills into his friend's pocket. + +"Thanks!" said David. + +"Don't mention it," he replied. + +"Good-bye." + +"Good-bye." + +The sun was just rising as they parted. The first faint stir of life was +perceptible in the city streets; the green-grocers were coming in with +their fresh vegetables; the office boys were opening the doors and +putting away the shutters; there was a bright, morning look on the faces +which peered into the haggard countenance of the gambler as he crept +aimlessly along, but the fresh, sweet light gave him neither brightness +nor joy. His heart was cold and dead; he had not even formed a purpose. + +And so he drifted aimlessly until the current that was setting toward +the levee caught him and bore him on with it. The sight of a vessel just +putting out to sea communicated to his spirit its first definite impulse +and he ascended the gang-plank without even inquiring its destination. + +In a few moments the boat swung loose and turned its prow down the +river. The bustle of the embarkation distracted him. He watched the +hurrying sailors, gazed at the piles of merchandise, walked up and down +the deck, listened to the fresh breeze that began to play upon the +great, sonorous harp of the shrouds and the masts, and when at last the +vessel glided out into the waters of the gulf he lay down in a hammock +and fell into a long and dreamless sleep. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +HEART HUNGER + + "Only; I discern + Infinite passion, and the pain + Of finite hearts that yearn." + + --Browning. + + +For a moment after she had read the note which David thrust beneath her +door, Pepeeta held her breath; then sinking to her knees, she prostrated +herself before that august Being to whom all men bow in last +extremities; her head resting upon arms pathetically crossed on the low +window sill--bruised but not broken, cast down, but not destroyed--she +drank the cup of sorrow to its dregs. + +Men hang birds in dark rooms, sometimes, until they learn to sing, and +it was to a kindred discipline of her Heavenly Father's that Pepeeta was +being subjected. In that supreme hour of trial she performed the +greatest feat of which the soul is capable. She defied her own nature; +she committed an act of sacred violence against the most clamorous +propensities of her heart. + +What that struggle cost her no mortal mind can know. That in her +decision she chose the better part some will doubt. The most common +justification of our conduct is that we have followed the "dictates of +our natures." But because those natures are double, and the good and +evil perpetually struggle for the mastery, we are sometimes compelled +to reverse their most strenuous demands. + +Those lofty souls who are enabled to perceive their duty clearly and to +commit bravely this act of sacred violence must always remain a mystery +to those who meanly live upon a lower plane of existence. + +It was as certain when this pure soul entered upon her renewed struggle +to find the path of duty that she would succeed, as that the carrier +pigeon, launched into an unknown region, will find the homeward way; but +for a little time she fluttered her wings in ignorance and despair; she +found no rest for the soles of her feet, and the ark of refuge was +nowhere to be seen. + +The nearness of her lover, she could see him in the street; his sorrow, +she could behold his white face even by the pale light of the moon; his +tender love, whose real depth she had never for a moment doubted; his +bitter agony, which she knew she could terminate in a single instant, +all appealed to her with an indescribable power. Her own sorrow and +loneliness were eclipsed by the consciousness of the sorrow and +loneliness of the man whom she loved more than life. She felt the pain +in his bosom far more than in her own; but this feeling which added so +much to her suffering became a clear interpreter of her duty. + +She acted from a single, undivided impulse; it was to do him good and +bring to him the final beatitude of life. She saw as clearly as when the +facts about this tragedy were flashed upon her that her presence in +David's life would be a perpetual source of irritation, and that so long +as he possessed her he would never be able to face the truly spiritual +problems which remained to be solved. + +How she acquired those powers of divination is a mystery. Such women +possess a certain prescience that cannot wholly be accounted for. What +Pepeeta did was right because she was Pepeeta. It does not follow that +because such natures see so clearly that they act with less pain than +others. Indeed, the more clear those spiritual perceptions, the more +poignant are the sufferings which they involve; life can scarcely afford +a situation more pathetic than hers. + +Alone in a great city, young and beautiful, capable of enjoying +happiness with a singular appreciation, the victim of a complicated set +of circumstances for the comprehension and management of which her early +life had afforded no training; guilty of a great sin, but if one could +say so, innocently guilty, and penitent; consecrated to duty, but torn +asunder by conflicting emotions as if upon a wheel--of what deeper +sorrow is the soul capable? + +When she extinguished that candle she extinguished the sun of her human +happiness; but it happened to her as it has happened to countless +others, that in the darkness which ensued she saw a myriad beautiful +stars. + +The next morning Pepeeta resolutely took up the heavy burden of her life +and bore it uncomplainingly, adjusting herself as the brave and patient +have ever done, to the necessities of her daily existence. Her little +attic room became a sort of sanctuary, and began to take upon itself a +reflection of her nature. She built it to fit her own character and +needs, as a bird builds its nest to fit its bosom. + +It may be said of most of us that we secrete our homes as the snails do +their shells. They become a sort of material embodiment of our spirits, +a physical expression of our whole thought about life. Before long +flowers were blooming in Pepeeta's window; a mocking bird was singing in +a cage above it; on the wall hung the old tambourine and one after +another many little inexpensive but brightening bits and scraps of +things such as women pick up by instinct found their places in this +simple attic. + +She seldom left it for the outside world, except when she went to +deliver the work she had finished, and on Sundays when she spent the +morning wandering from one church to another. As a consequence of these +brief but regular pilgrimages her beautiful face became familiar to the +residents of some of the side streets where the women and children made +her low courtesies and the men doffed their hats by that divine instinct +of reverence which we all feel in the presence of the beautiful and the +good. + +A double craving devours our human hearts--for solitude and for +companionship. As there are hours when we thirst to be alone, there are +others when we hunger for the touch of a human hand, the glance of a +human eye, a smile from human lips. Even gross, material things like +food and drink lose half their flavor when taken in solitude. Pepeeta +needed friends and found them. + +We never know how small a part of ourselves that fraction may be which +we have taken for the whole! We come to know ourselves by struggle and +endeavor, more than by thought and meditation. We have only to do our +work each day in hope and trust. We can only find rest in effort. It is +not in repose, but in activity--not in joy, but in sorrow, that the soul +comes to its second birth. Pepeeta needed labor and suffering, and they +were sent her. + +She accepted all that followed her supreme decision without a question +and without a murmur for many months, and then--a reaction came! The +draughts upon her physical and emotional nature had been too great. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +WHERE I MIGHT FIND HIM + + "Attempt the end, and never stand to doubt, + Nothing's so hard but search will find it out." + + --Herrick. + + +During several months of loneliness and sorrow a great change had been +taking place in the mind of the patient sufferer, of which she was only +vaguely conscious. + +Purposes are often formed in the depths of our souls, of which we know +nothing until they suddenly emerge into full view. Such a purpose had +been slowly evolving in the heart of Pepeeta. + +The strain which she had been undergoing began at last to exhaust her +physically. + +Her vital force became depleted, her step grew feeble, the light died +out of her eyes, she drooped and crept feebly about her room. The +determination which she had so resolutely maintained to live apart from +her guilty lover slowly ebbed away. She was, after all, a woman, not a +disembodied spirit, and her woman's heart yearned unquenchably for the +touch of her lover's hand, for the kisses of his lips, for the comfort +of his presence. + +This longing increased with every passing hour. Fatigue, weariness, +loneliness, steadily undermined her still struggling resistance to those +hungerings which never left her, till at last, when the failing +resources of her nature were at their lowest point, all her remaining +strength was concentrated into a single passionate desire to look once +more upon the face which glowed forever before her inner eye, or at +least to discover what had befallen the wanderer in his sin and +wretchedness. + +Slowly the diffused longing crystallized into a fixed purpose, to resist +which was beyond her power. Having nobly conquered temptation while she +had strength, and yielded only when her physical nature itself was +exhausted, she gathered up the few possessions she had accumulated, sold +them for what they would bring, and, with a heart palpitating wildly, +broke every tie she had formed with the life around her and turned her +face toward the little village where her happiness and sorrows had +begun. + +It was a long and tedious journey from New Orleans to Cincinnati in +those days, and it told terribly upon the weakened constitution of the +wayfarer. Her heart beat too violently in her bosom; a fierce fever +began to burn in her veins; she trembled with terror lest her strength +fail her before she reached her journey's end. It was not of Death +himself that she was afraid; but that he should overtake her before she +had seen her lover! + +Husbanding her strength as shipwrecked sailors save their bread and +water, she counted the days and the miles to the journey's end, and +having arrived at the wharf of the Queen City, the pale young traveler +who had excited the compassion of the passengers, but who would neither +communicate the secret of her sorrow nor accept of any aid, took her +little bundle in her thin hand and started off on the last stage of her +weary pilgrimage. It was the hardest of all, for her money was exhausted +and there was nothing for her to do but walk. + +It was a cold December day. Gray clouds lowered, wintry winds began to +moan, and she had proceeded but a little way when light flakes of snow +began to fall. The chill penetrated her thin clothing and shook her +fragile form. She moved more like a wraith than a living woman. Her +tired feet left such slight impressions in the snow that the feathery +flakes obliterated one almost before she had made another, and she was +haunted by the thought that every trace of her passage through life was +thus to disappear! + +Ignorant of the distance or the exact direction, and stopping +occasionally to inquire the way, she plodded on, the exhaustion of +hunger and weariness becoming more and more unendurable. All that she +did now was done by the sheer force of will; but yield she would not. +She would die cheerfully when she had attained her object, but not +before. The winds became more wild and boisterous; they loosened and +tossed her black hair about her wan face; they beat against her person +and drove her back. Every step seemed the last one possible; but +suddenly, just as she descended the slope of a steep hill, she saw the +twinkling lights of the village and the feeble rays shot new courage +into her heart. Under this accession of power she pushed forward and +made her way toward the old Quaker homestead. + +The night had now deepened around her; but every foot of the landscape +had been indelibly impressed upon her memory, and even in the gathering +gloom she chose the road unerringly. There were only a few steps more, +and reeling toward the door yard fence she felt her way to the gate, +opened it, staggered forward up the path in the rays of light that +struggled out into the darkness, and with one final effort fell fainting +upon the threshold. + +The scene within the house presented a striking contrast to that +without. In a great open fireplace the flames of the beech logs were +wavering up the chimney. Seated in the radiance of their light, on a low +stool, was a young boy with his elbows upon his knees and his cheeks in +the palms of his hands. His mother sat by his side stroking his hair and +gazing at him in fond, brooding love. The father was bending over a +Bible lying open on the table; it was the hour of prayer. He was reading +a lesson from the twenty-fifth chapter of St. Matthew, and had just +articulated in slow and reverent tones the words of Jesus, "I was a +stranger and ye took me in," when they heard a sound at the door. + +Father, mother and son sprang to their feet and, hurrying towards the +door, flung it open and beheld a woman's limp form lying on the +threshold. + +It was but a child's weight to the stalwart Quaker who picked it up in +his great arms and carried it into the radiance of the great fireplace, +and in an instant he and Dorothea his wife were pushing forward the work +of restoration. They forced a cordial between the parted lips, chafed +the white hands, warmed the half-frozen feet, and in a few moments were +rewarded by discovering feeble signs of life. The color came back in a +faint glow to the marble face, the pulses fluttered feebly, the bosom +heaved gently, as if the refluent tide of life had surged reluctantly +back, and the tired heart began once more to beat. She had regained her +life but not her consciousness, and lay there as white and almost as +still as death. The little boy stood gazing wonderingly at her from a +distance. The calm features of the Quaker were agitated with emotion. +His wife knelt by the side of the pale sleeper, and her tears dropped +silently on the hand which she pressed to her lips. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +SAFE HAVEN + + "The human heart finds shelter nowhere but in human kind." + + --George Eliot. + + +For many days Pepeeta's life hung in the balance, her spirit hovering +uncertainly along the border land of being, and it was only love that +wooed it back to life. + +When at length, through careful nursing, she really regained her +consciousness and came up from those unfathomable abysses where she had +been wandering, she opened her eyes upon the walls of a little chamber +that looked out through an alcove into the living room of the Quaker +house. + +Dorothea had finished her afternoon's work and was seated before the +great fireplace, while by her side stood Steven, speaking to her in +whispers, and looking often toward the cot on which Pepeeta lay. An +almost sacred stillness was in the room, for since the advent of the +sufferer, even the quiet of that well-ordered household had deepened and +softened. + +The silence was suddenly broken by a voice feeble and tremulous, but +very musical and sweet. It was Pepeeta, who gazed around her in +bewilderment and asked in vague alarm, "Where am I?" + +Dorothea was by her side in an instant, and taking the thin fingers in +her strong hands, replied: "Thee is among friends." + +Pepeeta looked long into the calm face above her, and gathered +reassurance; but her memory did not at once return. + +"Have I ever been in this place before? Have I ever seen your face? Has +something dreadful happened? Tell me," she entreated, gazing with +agitation into the calm eyes that looked down into hers. + +"I cannot tell thee whether thee has ever seen us before, but we have +seen thee so much for a few days that we feel like old friends," said +Dorothea, pressing the hand she held, and smiling. + +Pepeeta's eyes wandered about the room restlessly for a moment, and then +some dim remembrance of the past came back. + +"Did I come here in a great storm?" she asked. + +"Thee did, indeed. The night was wild and cold." + +"Did I fall on the threshold?" + +"Upon the very threshold, and let us thank God for that, because if thee +had fallen at the gate or in the path we should never have heard thee." + +Pepeeta struggled to a sitting posture as her memory clarified, fixed +her wide open eyes upon Dorothea and asked, pathetically, "Where is he?" + +"I do not know who thee means," said Dorothea, laying her hand on the +invalid's shoulders and trying gently to push her back upon her pillow. + +"David!" she exclaimed, "David. Tell me if you know, for it seems to me +I shall die if I do not hear." + +"I do not know, my love. It is a long time since we have heard from +David. But thee must lie down. Thee is not strong enough to talk." + +She did not need to force her now. The muscles relaxed, and Pepeeta sank +back upon her pillow, sobbing like a little child, while Dorothea +stroked her forehead. The soothing touch of her hand and her gentle +presence calmed the agitated and disappointed heart. The sobs became +less frequent, the tears ceased to flow, and sleep, coming like a +benediction, brought the balm of oblivion. + +The boy, with his great brown eyes, looked wonderingly from the face of +the invalid to that of his mother, who sat silently weaving in her +imagination the story of this life, from the few strands which she had +seized in this brief and broken conversation. + +The next morning when Pepeeta awakened she was not only rested and +refreshed by this natural sleep, but was restored to the full possession +of her consciousness and her memory. + +When Dorothea came in from her morning duties to see how her patient +fared, she was startled by the change, for the invalid had recovered +that calm self-possession which she had lost before beginning her +journey, and now that her uncertainty was ended had already begun to +face disappointment with fortitude and resolution. + +The nurse seated herself by the patient, who said humbly: + +"May I talk now?" + +"If thee feels strong enough and can do it without exciting thyself, +thee may. But if thee cannot, thee had better wait a little longer. Thee +is very weak." + +"But I am much better, am I not?" + +"Yes, thee is much better, but thee is far from well." + +"Yes, I am far from well; but it will do me good to talk. I have much to +tell, and I cannot rest until I tell it all." + +"Thee need not hurry--need thee?" + +"Yes--I feel in haste. I have no right to all this kindness, for I have +done this household a great wrong and I must confess it. It is a sad, +sad story. Will you listen to it now?" + +"If it will do thee good instead of harm, I will." + +"Then prop me up in bed, if you please. Place me so that I can talk +freely. There, thank you. You are so gentle and so kind. I have never in +all my life had any one touch me so gently. And now, if you are ready, +be seated in the great chair and turn your face to the wall." + +"To the wall?" + +"Yes, to the wall. I cannot bear to see the reproaches that must fill +those kind eyes." + +"But, my dear, thee shall not see any reproaches in my eyes. Who am I +that I should judge thee? We are commanded in the holy Bible to judge +not, lest we be judged again. Tell thy story without fear. Thee shall +tell it to ears that shall hear thee patiently, and a heart that is not +devoid of pity." + +"I cannot, cannot," cried Pepeeta, "do as I pray! Look out of the +window. Look anywhere but at my face. Let me lie here and look up. Let +me tell my story as if to God alone. It will be easy for me to do that, +for I have told it to Him again and again." + +Fearing to agitate her, Dorothea did as she desired. + +"Are we alone?" + +"Yes, all alone." + +"Well, then, I will begin," Pepeeta said, and in a voice choked with +emotion, the poor sufferer breathed out the tale of her sin and her +sorrow. She told all. She did not shield herself, and everywhere she +could she softened the wrong done by David. It was a long story, and was +interrupted only by the ticking of the great clock in the hallway, +telling off the moments with as little concern as when three years +before it had listened to the story told to David by his mother. When +the confession was ended a silence followed, which Dorothea broke by +asking gently: + +"May I look, now?" + +"If you can forgive me," Pepeeta answered. + +The tender-hearted woman rose, approached the bedside and kissed the +quivering lips. + +"Have you forgiven me?" Pepeeta asked, seizing the face in her thin +hands and looking almost despairingly into the great blue eyes. + +"As I hope to be forgiven," Dorothea answered, kissing her again and +again. + +A look of almost perfect happiness diffused itself over the pale +countenance. + +"It is too much--too much. How can it be? It was such a great wrong!" +she exclaimed, + +"Yes, it was a great wrong. Thee has sinned much, but much shall be +forgiven if thee is penitent, and I think thee is. No love nor pardon +should be withheld from those who mourn their sins. Our God is love! And +we are so ignorant and frail. It is a sad story, as thee says, but it is +better to be led astray by our good passions than by our bad. I have +noticed that it is sometimes by our holiest instincts that we are +betrayed into our darkest sins! It was heaven's brightest light--the +light of love--that led thee astray, my child, and even love may not be +followed with closed eyes! But thee does not need to be preached to." + +Astonished at such an almost divine insight and compassion, Pepeeta +exclaimed, "How came you to know so much of the tragedy of human life, +so much of the soul's weakness and guilt; you who have lived so quietly +in this happy home?" + +"By consulting my own heart, dear. We do not differ in ourselves so much +as in our experiences and temptations. But thee has talked enough about +thy troubles. Tell me thy name? What shall we call thee?" + +"My name is Pepeeta." + +"And mine is Dorothea." + +"Oh! Dorothea," Pepeeta exclaimed, "do you think we shall ever see him +again?" + +"I cannot tell. We had made many inquiries and given up in despair. And +now when we least expected news, thee has come! We will cherish hope +again. We were discouraged too easily." + +"Oh! how strong you are--how comforting. Yes, we will cherish hope, and +when I am well I will start out, and search for him everywhere. I shall +find him. My heart tells me so." + +"But thee is not well enough, yet," Dorothea said, with a kind smile, +"and until thee is, thee must be at rest in thy soul and, abiding here +with us, await the revelation of the divine will." + +"Oh, may I stay a little while? It is so quiet and restful here. I feel +like a tired bird that has found a refuge from a storm. But what will +your husband say, when he hears this story?" + +"Thee need not be troubled about that. His door and heart are ever open +to those who labor and are heavy laden. The Christ has found a faithful +follower in him, Pepeeta. It was he who first divined thy story." + +"Then you knew me?" + +"We had conjectured." + +"Then I will stay, oh, I will stay a little while, and perhaps, +perhaps--who knows?" she clasped her hands, her soul looked out of her +eyes, and a smile of genuine happiness lit up her sad face. + +"Yes, who knows?" said Dorothea, gently, rearranging the pillows and +bidding the invalid fall asleep again. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +THE LITTLE LAD + + "Better to be driven out from among men, than to be disliked of + children." + + --Dana. + + +Pepeeta took her place in this hospitable household as an orphan child +might have done. Just as a flower unfolding from a plant, or a bird +building its nest in a tree is almost instantly "at home," so it was +with Pepeeta. + +When she was strong enough to work, she began to assume domestic cares +and to discharge them in a quiet and beautiful way which brought a sweet +relief to the full hands of the overburdened housewife. And her +companionship was no less grateful to Dorothea than her help, for life +in a frontier household in those pioneer days was none too full of +animation and brightness, even for a quiet nature like hers. To Steven +she soon became a companion; and Jacob, the father, yielded no less +quickly and easily to the charms of this strange guest than did mother +and child. + +He was a man of earnest piety and of deep insight into human nature. He +had, as Dorothea said, made shrewd guesses at Pepeeta's story before she +told it, and had formed his own theories as to her nature and her +errand. + +"I tell thee, Dorothea, she is a lady," were the words in which he had +uttered his conclusions to his wife, in one of their many conversations +about the mysterious stranger. + +"What makes thee think so?" she asked. + +"Every feature of that delicate face tells its own history. These three +years of contact with David and a different life could never have so +completely wiped out the traces of the vulgar breeding of a gypsy camp +and the low education of a rogue's society, unless there were good blood +in those veins. Mark my word, there is a story about that life that +would stir the heart if it were known." + +"No wonder David loved her," said the wife. + +"No wonder, indeed. But if it is as it seems, there is a mystery in +their influence on each other that would confound the subtlest student +of life." + +"To what does thee refer?" + +"Two such natures ought to have made each other better instead of worse +by contact. You can predict what frost and sunlight, water and oil, seed +and soil will do when they meet; but not men and women! Two bads +sometimes make a good, and two goods sometimes make a bad." + +"Thee thinks strange thoughts, Jacob, and I do not always follow thee, +but even if it be wrong, I cannot help wishing that our dear David could +have had her for his lawful wife," said Dorothea. + +"The tale is not all told yet," responded her husband, opening his book +and beginning to read. + +With feelings like these in their hearts, they could not but extend to +Pepeeta that sympathy which alone could soothe the sorrow of her soul. +The sweet atmosphere of this home; the consciousness that she was among +friends; the knowledge that they would do all they could to find the +wanderer whom every one loved with such devotion, gave to Pepeeta's +overwrought feelings an exquisite relief. + +Her natural spirits and buoyant nature, repressed so long, began to +reassert themselves, and soon burst forth in gladness. The change was +slow, but sure, and by the time the spring days came and it was possible +to get out into the open air, the color had come back to the pale face +and the light to the dimmed eyes. She was like a flower transplanted +from some dark corner into an open, sunny spot in a garden. But that +which, more than all else, tended to develop within her graces still +unfolded, was her constant contact with Steven. A subtle sympathy had +been established between them from their very first meeting and they +gradually became almost inseparable comrades. Their common love of +outdoor life took them on long walks into the woods, from which they +came burdened with the first blossoms of the springtime, or they would +return from the river, laden with fish, for Steven insisted upon making +Pepeeta his companion in every excursion; nor was it hard to persuade +her to join him, she was so naturally a creature of the open air and +sunlight. + +Among the many happy days thus passed, one was especially memorable. +Steven had told her much of a famous fishing place in the big Miami, +several miles away, and had promised that if she would go with him on +the next Saturday he would show it to her and also reveal a secret which +no one knew but himself and in which she could not but take the greatest +interest. The day dawned bright and clear, and while the dew was still +on the grass they started. + +One of Pepeeta's sources of enjoyment in these excursions was the +constant prattle of the boy about that uncle whose long absence had +served rather to increase than to diminish the idolatry of his heart. +This morning, so like the one on which Pepeeta had seen David by the +side of the brook when first they met, awakened all the fervor of her +love and she could think of nothing else. + +"You must point out to me all the places where you and your uncle have +ever been together, little brother," she said to him, as they crossed +the field where she had first caught sight of David at the plow. + +"Why does thee care to know so much about him?" he asked, naeively +looking up into her face. + +"Do you not know?" she inquired. + +"No, I have asked father and mother, but they will not tell me." + +"If I tell you, will you be true to me?" + +"Won't I, though? I love thee. I would fight for thee, if I were not a +Quaker's son! Perhaps I would fight for thee anyway." + +"You will not need to fight for me, dearest. I could tell you a story +about fighting that would make you wish never to fight again. Perhaps I +will, sometime; but not now, for this must be a happy day and I do not +want to sadden it by telling you too much about the shadows that cloud +my life." + +He looked up with a pained expression. "Has thee had troubles?" he +asked. + +"Great troubles, and they are not ended yet. I should be very wretched, +but for you and your dear parents. You are but a child, and yet it would +comfort me to tell you that I love your uncle with a love that can never +die. And so when I ask you about him you will tell me everything you +know, will you not? And remember that in doing so you are helping to +make happy a poor heart that carries heavy burdens. There, that will do. +I have told you more, perhaps, than I ought; but although you are young, +I am sure that you are brave and true. And so, if there is any story +about your uncle which you have never told me, let me hear it now. And +if there is not, tell me one that you have told me over and over again." + +"Did I ever tell thee how he saved a little lamb from drowning?" + +"No! did he do that?" + +"Yes, he did! Thee knows that when the snow melts, this little brook +swells up into a great river and sometimes it happens so suddenly that +even the grown people are scared. It did that day, and came just pouring +out of those woods and through the meadow where our old Maisie was +playing with two little lambs. One of them was bounding around her, and +it slipped over the edge of the bank and fell into the bed of the creek. +It wasn't a very high bank, you know; but the lamb was little, and it +just stood bleating in the bed, and its mother stood bleating on the +bank. Well, Uncle David heard them and started to see what was the +matter, and though the rain had begun to fall, he ran across the field +as hard as he could. But by the time he reached the place the flood +caught up the little lamb and rolled it over and over like a ball. Uncle +Dave didn't even wait to take off his coat, but plunged right into that +water, boiling like a soap kettle, and swam out and grabbed that little +lamb and hung to it until he landed down there on a high bank a quarter +of a mile away. What does thee think of that, Pepeeta?" + +Her eyes kindled; pride swelled in her heart, and her spirits rose with +that wild feeling of joy with which women always hear of the bold deeds +of those they love. + +"How beautiful and noble he is," she cried. + +"And strong!" added the boy, to whose youthful imagination physical +prowess was still the greatest grace of life. And as he said it they +reached a little rivulet so swollen by the spring rains as to be a +formidable obstacle to their progress. Steven had not considered it in +laying out their route and stood before it in dismay. + +"How is thee ever going to get across?" he asked, and then under the +impulse of a sudden inspiration rushed to the fence, took off the top +rail and hurrying to the side of the brook flung it across for a +bridge, with all the gallantry of a Sir Walter Raleigh. + +But the spirits of his companion were too high to accept of aid! The +strength of her lover had communicated itself to her, and with a light, +free bound, she leaped to the other side. + +The boy's first feeling was one of chagrin at having his offer so +proudly scorned; but his second was that of boundless pride at a feat so +worthy of the hero whose praises they had just been sounding. "Hurrah!" +he cried, bounding after her and flinging his hat into the air. + +"Thee is as good a jumper as a man," he exclaimed, regarding her with +astonishment and admiration. + +As they moved forward Nature wove her spells around them and they gave +themselves utterly to her charms, pausing to look and listen, rapt in an +ecstasy of communion and sympathy. Pepeeta's familiarity with the +flowers was greater than Steven's, but she knew little about birds, and +propounded many questions to the young naturalist whose knowledge of the +inhabitants of field, forest and river seemed to be communicated by the +objects themselves, rather than by human teachers. + +"Hark! What is that bird, singing on the top of that tall stake?" she +asked, pausing to listen, her hand lifted as if to invoke silence. + +"That? Why, it's a meadow lark," said Steven. + +"And there is another, 'way up in the top of that tall tree. Oh! how +sweet and rich his song is. What is his name?" + +"That's a red bird, and if thee listens thee can hear a brown thrasher +over there in the woods." + +They paused and drank in the rich music until each of these voices was +silenced, and out of a copse of dense shade by the brookside there began +to bubble a spring of melody so liquid, so clear, and withal of such +beauty, that Pepeeta trembled with delight, hearing in that audible +melody the unheard songs of the soul itself. + +"What is it, Steven?" she asked in a whisper. + +"Why, that is a cat bird! Doesn't thee know a cat bird? I cannot +remember when I did not know what that song was! It is such a crazy +bird! It has only two tunes and is like our teacher at school. She +either praises or else scolds us. And that is the way with the cat bird. +It is either talking love to its mate, or else abusing it! I don't like +such people or such birds; I like those who have more tunes. Now thee +has a lot of tunes, Pepeeta!" + +This quaint reflection and delicate compliment broke the bird's spell +and made Pepeeta laugh,--a laugh as musical and sweet as the song of the +bird itself. It passed through the fringe of trees along the river bank, +rippled across it over against the smooth face of a cliff and came back +sweetly on the spring air. + +"Oh! did you hear the echo?" Pepeeta exclaimed. + +"That is what I brought thee here for!" he said. "Uncle David taught me +how to make it answer and told me what it was. It frightened me at +first. Let us get close up to the water and listen!" + +He took her by the hand and drew her along. + +"Is it here that you are to tell me the secret?" she asked. + +"Oh, no," he said. "The echo tells its secrets! It is nothing but a blab +any way. But I do not tell mine until the right time comes! Thee must +wait." + +They came out upon the edge of the river which makes a sweep around a +sharp corner on the opposite side of which was "Echo Rock." There they +stood and shouted and laughed as their voices came back upon the still +air softened and etherealized. + +Becoming tired of this sport at last, the boy picked up a flat stone +from the river's edge and said, "Can thee skip a stone, Pepeeta? I never +saw a girl that could skip a stone." + +"But I am not a girl," she said. + +"Oh, but thee was a girl once, and if thee did not learn then thee +cannot do it now. Come, let me see thee try. Here is a stone, and a +beauty, too; round, flat and smooth. That stone ought to make sixteen +jumps!" + +"But you must show me how," she said. + +"All right, I will," he replied, and sent one skimming along the smooth +surface of the water. + +"Beautiful," she said, clapping her hands as it bounded in ever +diminishing saltations and with a finer skill than that of Giotto, drew +perfect circles on the watery canvas. + +Delighted with the applause, the child found another stone and gave it +to Pepeeta. She took it, drew her hand back and tossed it awkwardly from +her shoulder. It sank with a dull plunge into the stream, while out of +the throat of the lad came a great and joyous shout of laughter. "I knew +thee could not," he said. "No girl that ever lived could skip a stone!" + +And then he threw another and another, and they stood enchanted as the +beautiful circles widened away from their centers and crossed each other +in ever-increasing complexity of curve. + +Steven did his best to teach Pepeeta this very simple art; but after +many failures, she exclaimed: + +"Oh dear, I shall never learn! I am nothing but a woman after all! Let +us hasten to the fishing pool, perhaps I shall do better there." + +"Don't be discouraged. Thee can learn, if thee tries long enough!" +Steven said encouragingly, and led the way to a deep pool a few rods +farther up the river. It was a cool, sequestered, lovely spot. Great +trees overhung it, dark waters swirled swiftly but quietly round the +base of a great rock jutting out into it; little bubbles of froth glided +dreamily across it and burst on its edges; kingfishers dropped, +stone-like, into it from the limbs of a dead sycamore, and the low, deep +murmurs of the flood, as it hurried by, whispered inarticulately of +mysteries too deep for the mind of man to comprehend. Except for this +ceaseless murmur, silence brooded over the place, for the song-birds had +hidden themselves in the wood, and the two intruders upon the sacred +privacy, by an unconscious sense of fitness, spoke in whispers. + +"Beautiful!" said Pepeeta. + +"Hush! See there!" Steven exclaimed, in an undertone, and pointing to a +spot where a fish had broken the still surface as he leaped for a fly +and plunged back again into the depths. + +His eye glowed, and his whole figure vibrated with excitement. + +"And did your Uncle David used to bring you here?" Pepeeta asked. + +"Well, I should say," he whispered. "He used to bring me here when I was +such a little fellow that he sometimes had to carry me on his back. He +was the greatest fisherman thee ever saw. I cannot fish so well myself!" + +And with this ingenuous avowal, at which Pepeeta smiled appreciatively, +they laid their baskets down, and Steven began preparing the rude +tackle. + +"Did thee ever bait a hook, Pepeeta?" he asked under his breath. + +"I never did, but I think I can," she answered doubtfully. + +And then he laughed again, not loudly, but in a fine chuckle which gave +vent to his joy and expressed his incredulity in a manner fitting such +solitude. + +"If thee cannot skip a stone I should like to know what makes thee think +that thee can bait a hook," he said, still speaking in low whispers. "I +have seen lots of girls try it, but I never saw one succeed. Just the +minute they touch the worm they begin to squeal, and when they try to +stick it on the hook, they generally, have a sort of fit. So I guess +thee had better not try. Just let me do it for thee; I'll fix it just as +my Uncle David used to for me when I was a little fellow, and helpless +like a girl." Pepeeta laughed, and Steven laughed with her, although he +did not know for what, and they took their poles and sat down by the +side of the stream, the child intent on the sport and the woman intent +on the child. + +He was an adept in that gentle art which has claimed the devotion of so +many elect spirits, and gave his soul up to his work with an entire +abandon. The waters were seldom disturbed in those early days when the +country was sparsely settled, and the fish took the bait recklessly. One +after another the boy flung them out upon the bank with smothered +exclamations of delight, with which he mingled reproaches and sympathy +for Pepeeta's lack of success. + +She was catching fish he knew not of, drawing them one by one out of the +deep pools of memory and imagination. + +There is one thing dearer to a boy than catching fish. That is cooking +and eating them. + +Hunger began at last to gnaw at Steven's vitals and to make itself +imperatively felt. He looked up at the sun as if to tell the time by its +location, though in reality he regulated his movements by that +infallible horologue ticking beneath his jacket. + +"It must be after twelve," he said, although it was not yet eleven. + +"Where are we going to have our dinner?" Pepeeta asked. + +"Come, and I will show thee," he replied, flinging down his pole and +gathering his fish together. + +Pepeeta followed him as he led the way up from the river's side to a +ledge of rocks that frowned above it. + +Rounding a cliff, they came suddenly upon the mouth of a cave where +Steven threw down the fish, assumed an air of secrecy, took Pepeeta by +the hand and led her toward it, whispering: + +"This is the robbers' cave." + +"And is it within its dark recesses that we are to eat our dinner?" +Pepeeta asked, imitating his melodramatic manner. + +"Yes! No one in the world knows of it, but Uncle Dave and me. We always +used to cook our dinner here, and play we were robbers." + +Pepeeta saw the ashes of fires which had been built at the entrance, an +old iron kettle hanging on a projecting root, a coffee pot standing on a +ledge of a rock, and fragments of broken dishes scattered about, and +entered with all her heart into an adventure so suddenly recalling the +vanished scenes of her gypsy childhood. The eyes of the boy glistened +with delight as he perceived the unmistakable evidences of her +enjoyment. + +"And so this is your secret!" she exclaimed. + +"Not by a good deal!" he answered, "Thee is not to know the real secret +until we have had our dinner. I will build the fire and clean the fish, +and if thee knows how, thee can cook them." + +"Oh, you need not think I don't know anything--just because I cannot +skip stones and bait hooks," Pepeeta said gaily, and with that they both +bustled about and before long the smoke was curling up into the still +air, and the fragrant odor of coffee was perfuming the wilderness. + +While they were waiting for the fish to fry, Pepeeta regaled her +enchanted listener with such fragments of the story of her gypsy life as +she could piece together out of the wrecks of that time. He was +overpowered with astonishment, and the idea that he was sitting opposite +to a real gypsy, at the mouth of a cave, filled up the measure of his +romantic fancy and perfected his happiness. He hung upon her words and +kept her talking until the last crust had been devoured and she had +repeated again and again the most trivial remembrances of those far off +days. + +The boy's bliss had reached its utmost limit, and yet had not surpassed +the woman's. The vigorous walk through the woods; the silent +ministrations of nature; the simple food; the sweet imaginative +associations with David; but above all that most recreative force in +nature,--the presence and prattle of a child,--filled her sad heart +with a happiness of which she had believed herself forever incapable. + +They sat for a few moments in silence, after Pepeeta had finished one of +her most charming reminiscences, and then Steven, springing to his feet, +exclaimed: + +"Why, Pepeeta, we have forgotten the secret! Come and I will show it to +thee." + +She took his proffered hand and was led into the depths of the cavern. + +"Thee must shut thy eyes," he said. + +"Oh! but I am so frightened," she answered, pretending to shudder and +draw back. + +"Thee need not be afraid. I will protect thee," he said, reassuringly. + +She obeyed him, and they moved forward. + +"Are thy eyes shut tight? How many fingers do I hold up?" he asked, +raising his hand. + +"Six," she answered. + +"All right; there were only two," he said, convinced and satisfied. + +He led her along a dozen steps or so, and then halted. + +"Turn this way," swinging her about; "do not open thy eyes till I tell +thee. There--now!" + +For an instant the darkness seemed impenetrable; but there was enough of +a faint light, rather like pale belated moonbeams than the brightness of +the sun, to enable her to read her own name carved upon the smooth wall +of rock. + +"Ah! little deceiver, when did you do this?" she asked, touched by his +gallantry. + +"Do this! Why, Pepeeta, I did not do it," he answered, surprised and +taken back by her misunderstanding. + +"You did not do it?" she asked, astonished in her turn. "Who did it if +you did not?" + +"Why--can't thee guess?" he asked. + +And then it slowly dawned upon her that it was the work of her lover, +done in those days when he wandered about the country restless and +tormented by his passion. His own dear hand had traced those letters on +the rock! + +She kissed them, and burst into tears. + +This was an indescribable shock to the child, who had anticipated a +result so different, and he sprang to her side, embraced her in his +young arms and cried: + +"What is the matter, Pepeeta? I did not mean to make thee sad; I meant +to make thee happy! Oh, do not cry!" + +"You have made me a thousand times glad, my dear boy," she said, kissing +him gratefully. "You could not in any other way in the world give me +such happiness as this. But did you not know that we can cry because we +are glad as well as because we are sad?" + +"I have never heard of that," he answered wonderingly. + +She did not reply, for her attention reverted to the letters on the wall +and she stood feeding her hungry eyes upon that indubitable proof of +the devotion of her lover. + +The child's instinct taught him the sacredness of the privacy of grief +and love. He freed himself from her embrace, slipped out of the cave and +left her alone. She laid her cheek against the rude letters, patted them +with her hand, and kissed them again and again. It was bliss to know +that she had inspired this passion, although it was agony to know that +it was only a memory. + +The remembrance of feasts once eaten is not only no solace to physical +hunger, but adds unmitigated torment to it. It is different with the +hunger of the heart, which finds a melancholy alleviation in feeding +upon those shadows which reality has left. The food is bitter-sweet and +the alleviation is not satisfaction, but neither is it starvation! +Probably a real interview with a living, present lover, would not have +given to Pepeeta that intense, though poignant, happiness which +transfigured her face when she came forth into the daylight world, and +which subdued and softened the noisy welcome of the boy. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +OUT OF THE SHADOW + + "Until the day break and the shadows flee away." + + --Song of Solomon. + + +In due time the vessel upon which David had embarked arrived at her +destination, the city of New York, and the lonely traveler stepped forth +unnoticed and unknown into the metropolis of the New World. + +With, an instinct common to all adventurers, he made his way to the +Bowery, that thoroughfare whose name and character dispute the fame of +the Corso, the Strand and the Rue de Rivoli. + +Amid its perpetual excitements and boundless opportunities for +adventure, David resumed the habits formed during that period of life +upon which the doors had now closed. His reputation had followed him, +and the new scenes, the physical restoration during the long voyage, the +necessity of maintaining his fame, all conspired to help him take a +place in the front rank of the devotees of the gambling rooms. + +He did his best to enter into this new life with enthusiasm, but it had +no power to banish or even to allay his grief. He therefore spent most +of his time in wandering about among the wonders of the swiftly-growing +city, observing her busy streets, her crowded wharfs, her libraries, +museums and parks. This moving panorama temporarily diverted his +thoughts from that channel into which they ever returned, and which they +were constantly wearing deeper and deeper, and so helped him to +accomplish the one aim of his wretched life, which was to become even +for a single moment unconscious of himself and of his misery. + +He had long ceased to ponder the problems of existence, for his +philosophy of life had reached its goal at the point where he was too +tired and broken-hearted to think. He could hardly be said to "live" any +longer, and his existence was scarcely more than a vegetation. Like a +somnambulist, he received upon the pupils of his eye impressions which +did not awaken a response in his reason. + +If any general conceptions at all were being formed he was unconscious +of them. What he really thought of the phenomena of life upon which he +thus blindly stared, he could not have definitely told; but in some +vague way he felt as he gazed at the multitudes of human beings swarming +through the streets, that all were, like himself, the victims of some +insane folly which had precipitated them into some peculiar form of +misery or crime. + +And so, as he peered into their faces, he would catch himself wondering +what wrong this man had done, what sin that woman had committed, and +what sorrow each was suffering. That all must be in some secret way +guilty and miserable, he could not doubt, for it seemed to him +impossible that in this world of darkness and disorder, any one should +have been able to escape being deceived and victimized. "No man," he +thought, "can pick his way over all these hot plowshares without +stepping on some of them. None can run this horrible gauntlet without +being somewhere struck and wounded. What has befallen me, has in some +form or other befallen them all. They are trying, just as I am, to +conceal their sorrows and their crimes from each other. There is nothing +else to do. There is no such thing as happiness. There is nothing but +deception. Some of the keener ones see through my mask as I see through +theirs. And yet some of them smile and look as gay as if they were +really happy. Perhaps I can throw off this weight that is crushing me, +as they have thrown off theirs--if I try a little harder." Such were the +reflections which revolved ceaselessly within his brain. + +But his efforts were in vain. In this life he had but a single +consolation, and that was in a friendship which from its nature did not +and could not become an intimacy. + +Among the many acquaintances he had made in that realm of life to which +his vices and his crimes had consigned him, a single person had awakened +in his bosom emotions of interest and regard. There was in that circle +of silent, terrible, remorseless parasites of society, a young man whose +classical face, exquisite manners and varied accomplishments +set him apart from all the others. He moved among them like a +ghost,--mysterious, uncommunicative and unapproachable. + +He had inspired in his companions a sort of unacknowledged respect, from +the superiority of his professional code of ethics, for he never preyed +upon the innocent, the weak, or the helpless, and gambled only with the +rich or the crafty. He victimized the victimizers, and signalized his +triumph with a mocking smile in which there was no trace of bitterness, +but only a gentle and humorous irony. + +From the time of their first meeting he had treated David in an +exceptional manner. In unobserved ways he had done him little +kindnesses, and proffered many delicate advances of friendship, and not +many months passed before the two lonely, suspicious and ostracized men +united their fortunes in a sort of informal partnership and were living +in common apartments. + +The most marked characteristic of this restricted friendship was a +disposition to respect the privacy of each other's lives and thoughts. +In all their intercourse through the year in which they had been thus +associated they had never obtruded their personal affairs upon each +other, nor pried into each other's secrets. + +There was in Foster Mantel a sort of sardonic humor into which he was +always withdrawing himself. In one of their infrequent conversations the +two companions had grown unusually confidential and found themselves +drifting a little too near that most dangerous of all shoals in the +lives of such men--the past. + +With a swift, instinctive movement both of them turned away. Each read +in the other's face consciousness of the impossibility of discussing +those experiences through which they had come to be what they were. Such +men guard the real history of their lives and the real emotions of their +hearts as jealously as the combinations of their cards. The old, +ironical smile lighted up Mantel's features, and he said: + +"We seem to have a violent antipathy to thin ice, Davy, and skate away +from it as soon as it begins to crack a little beneath our feet." + +"Yes," said his friend, shrugging his shoulders, "it is not pleasant to +fall through the crust of friendship. There is a sub-element in every +life a too sudden plunge into which might result in a fatal chill. We +had all better keep on the surface. I am frank enough to say that the +less any one knows about my past, the better I shall be satisfied." + +"I wish that I could keep my own self from invading that realm as easily +as I can keep others! Why is it that no man has ever yet been able to +'let the dead past bury its dead'? It seems a reasonable demand." + +"He is a poor sexton--this old man, the Past. I have watched him at his +work, and he is powerless to dig his own grave, however many others he +may have excavated!" + +"The Present seems as helpless as the Past. I wonder if the future will +heap enough new events over old ones to hide them from view?" + +"Let a shadow bury the sun! Let a wave bury the sea," answered David +bitterly. + +"I am afraid you take life too seriously," said Mantel, on whose face +appeared that inexplicable smile behind which he constantly retired. +"For, after all, life is nothing but a jest--a grim one, to be sure, but +still a jest. The great host who entertains us in the banqueting hall of +the universe must have his fun as well as any one, and we must laugh at +his jokes even when they are at our expense. This is the least that +guests can do." + +"What, even when they writhe with pain?" + +"Why not? We all have our fun! You used to scare timid little girls with +jack-lanterns, put duck eggs under the old hen, and tie tin cans to +dogs' tails. Where did you learn these tricks, if not from the great +Trickmaster himself? Humor is hereditary! We get it from a divine +original, and the Archetypal Joker must have His fun. It is better to +take His horseplay in good part. We cannot stop Him, and we may as well +laugh at what amuses Him. There is just as much fun in it as a fellow is +able to see!" + +"Then there is none, for I cannot see any. But if you get the comfort +you seem to out of this philosophy of yours, I envy you. What do you +call it? There ought to be a name for a metaphysic which seems to +comprehend all the complex phenomena of life in one single, simple, +principle of humor!" + +"How would 'will-o'-the-wispism' do? There is a sort of elusive element +in life, you see. Nature has no goal, yet leads us along the pathway by +shows, enchantments and promises. She pays us in checks which she never +cashes. She holds out a glittering prize, persuades us that it is worth +any sacrifice, and when we make it, the bubble bursts, the sword +descends, and you hear a low chuckle." + +"You have described her method well enough, but how is it that you get +your fun out of your knowledge?" + +"It is the illusion itself! The boy chasing the rainbow is happier than +the man counting his gold!" + +"But what of that dreadful day of disenchantment when the illusion no +longer deceives?" + +"Ha! ha! Why, just put on your mask and smile. You can 'make believe' +you are happy, can't you?" + +"I have got beyond that," David answered savagely. "I am not sitting for +my picture to this great, grim artist friend of yours, who first sticks +a knife into me, and then tells me to look pleasant that he may +photograph me for his gallery of fools! I am tired of shams and +make-believes. Life is a hideous mockery, and I say plainly that I +loathe and abhor it!" + +"Tush, tush, whatever else you do or do not do, keep sweet, David! Whom +the gods would destroy they first make mad! You take yourself and your +life too seriously, I tell you. Everything will go its own way whether +you want it to or not! I used to read the classics, once, and some +fragments of those old fellows' sublime philosophy are still fresh in +my memory. There is a scrap in one of the Greek tragedies--the Oedipus, +I think, that has always kept running through my head: + + "'Why should we fear, when Chance rules everything, + And foresight of the future there is none? + 'Tis best to live at random as we can! + But thou, fear not that marriage with thy mother! + Many, ere now, have dreamed of things like this, + But who cares least about them, bears life best!' + +"There is wisdom for you! 'Who cares least about them bears life best!' +It's my philosophy in a nut-shell." + +"Look here, Mantel," said David, "your philosophy may be all right, +provided a man has not done a--provided--provided a man has not +committed a-a crime! I don't care anything about your past in detail; +but unless you have done some deed that hangs around your neck like a +mill-stone, you don't know anything about the subject you are +discussing." + +Mantel dropped his eyes, and sat in silence. For the first time since +David had known him, his fine face gave some genuine revelation of the +emotions of his soul. Great tears gathered in his eyes, and his lips +trembled. In a moment, he arose, took his hat, laid his hand gently upon +the arm of his friend, and said "David, my dear fellow, we are skating +on that thin ice again. We shall fall through if we are not careful, and +get that chill you were talking about. Let's go out and take a walk. +Life is too deep for either you or me to fathom. I gave it up as a bad +job long ago. What you just said about having a knife stuck into you +comes the nearest to my own notion. I feel a good deal as I fancy a +butterfly must when he has been intercepted in a gay and joyous flight +and stuck against the wall with a sharp pin, among a million other +specimens which the great entomologist has gathered for some purpose +which no one but himself can understand. All I try to do is to smile +enough to cover up my contortions. Come, let us go. We need the air." + +They went down into the streets and lost themselves in the busy crowd of +care-encumbered men. Half unconscious of the throngs which jostled them, +they strolled along Broadway, occasionally pausing to gaze into a shop +window, to rest on a seat in a park, to listen to a street musician, or +to watch some passing incident in the great panorama which is ever +unrolling itself in that brilliant and fascinating avenue. + +Suddenly Mantel was startled by an abrupt change in the manner of his +companion, who paused and stood as if rooted to the pavement, while his +great blue eyes opened beyond their natural width with a fixed stare. + +Following the direction of their gaze, Mantel saw that they were fixed +on a blind beggar who sat on a stool at the edge of the sidewalk, silent +and motionless like an old snag on the bank of a river--the perpetual +stream of human life forever flowing by. His head was bare; in his +outstretched hand he held a tin cup which jingled now and then as some +compassionate traveler dropped him a coin; by his side, looking up +occasionally into his unresponsive eyes, was a little terrier, his +solitary companion and guide in a world of perpetual night. + +The face of the man was a remarkable one, judged by almost any standard. +It was large in size, strong in outline, and although he was a beggar, +it wore an expression of power, of independence and resolution like that +of another Belisarius. But the feature which first arrested and longest +held attention, was an enormous mustache. It could not have been less +than fourteen inches from tip to tip, was carefully trimmed and trained, +and although the man himself was still comparatively young, was white as +snow. Occasionally he set his cup on his knee and with both hands +twisted the ends into heavy ropes. + +It was a striking face and exacted from every observer more than a +passing look; but remarkable as it was, Mantel could not discover any +reason for the strained and terrible interest of his companion, who +stood staring so long and in such a noticeable way, that he was in +danger of himself attracting the attention of the curious crowd. + +Seeing this, Mantel took him by the arm. "What is the matter?" he asked. + +David started. "My God," he cried, drawing his hand over his eyes like a +man awakening from a dream; "it is he!" + +"It is who? Are you mad! Come away! People are observing you. If there +is anything wrong, we must move or get into trouble." + +"Let me alone!" David replied, shaking off his hand. "I would rather die +than lose sight of that man." + +"Then come into this doorway where you can watch him unobserved, for you +are making a spectacle of yourself. Come, or I shall drag you." + +With his eyes still riveted on that strange countenance, David yielded +to the pressure of his friend's hand and they retired to a hallway +whence he could watch the beggar unobserved. His whole frame was +quivering with excitement and he kept murmuring to himself: "It is he. +It is he! I cannot be mistaken! Nature never made his double! But how he +has changed! How old and white he is! It cannot be his ghost, can it? If +it were night I might think so, but it is broad daylight! This man is +living flesh and blood and my hand is not, after all, the hand of a +mur--" + +"Hush!" cried Mantel; "you are talking aloud!" + +"Yes, I am talking aloud," he answered, "and I mean to talk louder yet! +I want you to hear that I am not a murderer, a murderer! Do you +understand? I am going to rush out into the streets to cry out at the +top of my voice--I am not a murderer!" + +Terrified at his violence, Mantel pushed him farther back into the +doorway; but he sprang out again as if his very life depended upon the +sight of the great white face. + +"Be quiet!" Mantel cried, seizing his arm with an iron grip. + +The pain restored him to his senses. "What did I say?" he asked +anxiously. + +"You said, 'I am not a murderer,'" Mantel whispered. + +"And it is true! I am not!" he replied, with but little less violence +than before. + +"Look at this hand, Mantel! I have not looked at it myself for more than +three years without seeing spots of blood on it! And now it looks as +white as snow to me! See how firm I can hold it! And yet through all +those long and terrible years, it has trembled like a leaf. Tell me, am +I not right? Is it not white and firm?" + +"Yes, yes. It is; but hush. You are in danger of being overheard, and if +you are not careful, in a moment more we shall be in the hands of the +police!" + +"No matter if I am," he cried, almost beside himself, and rapturously +embracing his friend. "Nothing could give me more pleasure than a trial +for my crime, for my victim would be my witness! He is not dead. He is +out there in the street. Mantel, you don't know what happiness is! You +don't know how sweet it is to be alive! A mountain has been taken from +my shoulders. I no longer have any secret! I will tell you the whole +story of my life, now." + +"Not now; but later on, when we are alone. Let us leave this spot and go +to our rooms." + +"No, no! Don't stir! We might lose him, and if we did, I could never +persuade myself that this was not a dream! We will stay here until he +leaves, and then we will follow him and prove beyond a doubt that this +is a real man and not the vision of an overheated brain. We will follow +him, I say, and if he is really flesh and blood, and not a poor ghost, +we will help him, you and I. Poor old man! How sad he looks! And no +wonder! You don't know of what I robbed him!" + +David had now grown more quiet, and they stood patiently waiting for the +time to come when the old beggar should leave his post and retire to his +home, if home he had. + +At last he received his signal for departure. A shadow fell from the +roof of the tall building opposite, upon the pupil of an eye, which +perhaps felt the darkness it could not see. The building was his dial. +Like millions of his fellow creatures, he measured life by advancing +shadows. + +He arose, and in his mien and movements there was a certain majesty. +Placing his hat upon his storm-beaten head, he folded the camp-chair +under his arm, took the leading string in his hand and followed the +little dog, who began picking his way with fine care through the surging +crowd. + +Behind him at a little distance walked the two gamblers, pursuing him +like a double shadow. A bloodhound could not have been more eager than +David was. He trembled if an omnibus cut off his view for a single +instant, and shuddered if the beggar turned a corner. + +Unconscious of all this, the dog and his master wended their way +homeward. They crawled slowly and quietly across a street over which +thundered an endless procession of vehicles; they moved like snails +through the surf of the ocean of life. Arriving at length at the door of +a wretched tenement house, the blind man and his dog entered. + +As he noted the squalor of the place, David murmured to himself, "Poor +old man! How low he has fallen!" + +Several minutes passed in silence, while he stood reflecting on the +doctor's misery, his own new happiness and the opportunities and duties +which the adventure had opened and imposed. At last he said to his +friend, "Do you know where we are? I was so absorbed that I didn't +notice our route at all." + +"Yes," Mantel answered. "I have marked every turn of the way." + +"Could you find the place again?" + +"Without the slightest difficulty." + +"Be sure, for if you wish to help me, as I think you do, you will have +to come often. I have made my plans in the few moments in which I have +been standing here, and am determined to devote my life, if need be, to +this poor creature whom I have so wronged. I must get him out of this +filthy hole into some cheerful place. I will atone for the past if I +can! Atone! What a word that is! With what stunning force its meaning +dawns upon me! How many times I have heard and uttered it without +comprehension. But somehow I now see in it a revelation of the sweetest +possibility of life. Oh! I am a changed man; I will make atonement! +Come, let us go. I am anxious to begin. But no, I must proceed with +caution. How do I know that this is his permanent home? He may be only +lodging for the night, and when you come to-morrow, he may be gone! Go +in, Mantel, and make sure that we shall find him here to-morrow. Go, and +while you find out all you can about him, I will begin to search for +such a place as I want to put him in. We will part for the present; but +when we meet to-night we shall have much to talk about. I will tell you +the whole of this long and bitter story. I am so happy, Mantel. You +can't understand! I have something to live for now. I will work, oh, you +do not know how I will work to make this atonement. What a word it is! +It is music to my ears. Atonement!" + +And so in the lexicon of human experience he had at last discovered the +meaning of one of the great words of our language. After all, experience +is the only exhaustive dictionary, and the definitions it contains are +the only ones which really burn themselves into the mind or fully +interpret the significances of life. + +To every man language is a kind of fossil poetry, until experience makes +those dry bones live! Words are mere faded metaphors, pressed like +dried flowers in old and musty volumes, until a blow upon our heads, a +pang in our hearts, a strain on our nerves, the whisper of a maid, the +voice of a little child, turns them into living blossoms of odorous +beauty. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +IF THINE ENEMY HUNGER + + "Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in his + life when he has one too few; but if he has only one enemy, he is + lucky indeed if he has not one too many." + + --Bulwer-Lytton. + + +The blow struck by David had stunned the doctor, but had not killed him. +He lay in the road until a slave, passing that way, picked him up and +carried him to a neighboring plantation, where he fell into the hands of +people who in the truest sense of the word were good Samaritans. Their +hospitality was tested to the utmost, for he lay for weeks in a stupor, +and when he recovered consciousness his reason had undergone a strange +eclipse. For a long time he could not recall a single event in his +history and when at last some of the most prominent began to re-present +themselves to his view it was vaguely and slowly, as mountain-peaks and +hill-tops break through a morning mist. This was not the only result of +the blow which his rival had struck him; it had left him totally blind. +Nothing could have been more pitiful than the sight of this once strong +man, more helpless than an infant, sitting in the sun where kind hands +had placed him. Months elapsed before he regained anything that could be +called a clear conception of the past. It did at length return, however. +Slowly, but with terrible distinctness he recalled the events which +preceded and brought about this tragedy. And as he reflected upon them, +jealousy, hatred and revenge boiled in his soul and finally crystallized +into the single desperate purpose to find and crush the man who had +wrecked his life. + +He kept his story to himself; but made furtive inquiries of his +new-found friends and of the slaves and neighbors, none of which enabled +him to discover the slightest clue to the fugitives. So far as he could +learn, the earth might have opened and swallowed them, and so when he +had exhausted the sources of information in the region where the +accident occurred, he determined to go elsewhere. + +Refusing the kind offers of a permanent refuge in the home of these +hospitable Kentuckians, he made his way back to Cincinnati, where he +hoped not only to find traces of the fugitives, but to recover the +jewels which Pepeeta had left behind her on the table, and which in his +frantic haste he had forgotten to take with him. + +He learned the history of the jewels in a few short hours. Not long +after his own sudden disappearance and that of David and Pepeeta, the +judge had called at the hotel with an order for his property. The +unsuspecting landlord had honored it, and the judge not long afterward +left for parts unknown. + +This discovery not only turned his rage to frenzy, but increased his +difficulties a hundred fold. Without friends and without money, he set +himself to attain revenge. Before a purpose so resolute, many obstacles +at once gave way, and although he could find no traces of David and +Pepeeta, he discovered that the judge had fled to New York City, and +thither he determined to go. + +Procuring a little terrier, through the charity of strangers, he trained +him to be his guide, and started on his pilgrimage. Many weeks were +consumed in the journey and many more in hopeless efforts to discover +the thief. Through the aid of an old Cincinnati friend whom he +accidentally encountered he located the fugitive at last; but in a +cemetery! Ill-gotten wealth had precipitated the final disaster, for +having turned the diamonds into money the fugitive entered upon a +debauch which terminated in a horrible death. At the side of a grave in +the potter's field, the sexton one day saw a blind man leaning on a +cane. After a long silence, he stooped down, felt carefully over the low +ground as if to assure himself of something, then rose, lifted his cane +to heaven, waved it wildly, muttered what sounded like imprecations, and +soon after followed a little terrier to the gate of the cemetery and +disappeared. + +It was the doctor. One of his enemies had escaped him forever, and the +trail of the others seemed hopelessly lost in the darkness which had +settled down upon him. There was nothing left for him but to beg his +living and impotently nourish his hate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +A MAN CROSSED WITH ADVERSITY + + "One sole desire, one passion now remains + To keep life's fever still within his veins, + Vengeance! dire vengeance on the wretch who cast + O'er him and all he loved that ruinous blast." + + --Lalla Rookh. + + +It was late in the evening when David returned to his apartments, +excited, triumphant, eager. + +"Well," he cried, rushing impetuously up to Mantel, who stood waiting +for him. "Is he still there? Is that place really his home?" + +"Yes," his friend answered; "he has lived there for more than a year, in +solitude and poverty. His health is very poor and he is growing steadily +weaker. He has declined so much recently that now he does not venture +out until the afternoon." + +"Feeble, is he? Poor old man!" exclaimed David. "But at least he is not +dead, and while there is life there is hope! I am not a murderer, and +there is a possibility of my making atonement! How I cling to that idea, +Mantel! In a single hour I have enjoyed more happiness than I thought a +whole lifetime could contain. But even in this indescribable happiness +there is a strange element of unrest, for it seems too good to last. Is +all great gladness haunted by this apprehension of evanescence? But at +any rate, I am happy now!" + +"And I am almost happy in your happiness," responded his friend, his +face lighted up by an altogether new and beautiful smile. + +"Sit down, then," said David, giving him a chair and standing opposite +to him, "and I will tell you my story." + +Words cannot describe the emotion, nay the passion, with which he poured +that tragic narrative into the ears of his eager and sympathetic +listener. + +Never was a story told to a more attentive and appreciative auditor. +There must have been some buried sorrow in that heart which had rendered +it sensitive to the griefs of others. Hours were consumed by this +narrative and by the questions which had to be asked and answered, and +it was long after midnight when David found time to say, "And now shall +I tell you my plans for the future?" + +"Yes, if you will," said Mantel. + +"Well, I have rented a sunny room in a lodging house in a quiet street, +and to-morrow, if you are willing, you shall go and lead him to it. I +must lean upon you, Mantel; I dare not make myself known to him. He +would never accept my aid if he knew by whom it was bestowed, for he is +proud and revengeful and would give himself no rest night or day until +he had my life, if he knew I was within reach. I do not fear him; but +what good could come of his wreaking vengeance on me, richly as I +deserve it? It would only make his destiny more dark and dreadful, and +defeat the one chance I have of making an atonement. You do not think I +ought to make myself known, do you?" + +"I do not. I think with you that an atonement is the most perfect +satisfaction of justice." + +"Thank you, thank you, my dear friend. You do not know how glad I am to +have you think I am doing right. You will go to him to-morrow, then, and +you will tell him that some one who has seen him on the streets has +taken compassion on him. You will do this, will you not?" + +"Nothing could give me greater pleasure. I half feel as if I had +participated with you in the wrong done to the old man, and that I shall +be blessed with you in trying to make it right." + +"That is good in you, Mantel. How much nobility lies buried in every +human heart! It may be that even such men as you and I are capable of +some sort of rescue and redemption. I am going to spend my best strength +in working for this poor old blind beggar whom I have wronged. I mean to +toil for him like a galley slave, and mark me, Mantel, it is going to be +honest toil!" + +"Honest, did you say?" asked Mantel, lifting his eyebrows incredulously. + +"Yes," David answered, "honest. This hope that has come to me has +wrought a great change in my heart. It has revived old feelings which I +thought long dead. If there is a God in heaven who has decided to give +me one more chance to set myself right, I am going to take it! And +listen; if this great hope can come to me, why not to you?" + +Mantel leaned his head on his hand a moment, and then answered with a +sigh, "Perhaps--but," and paused. + +There are moments when these two indefinite words contain the whole of +our philosophy of existence. "I am going to seek the great Perhaps!" +said Rabelais, as he breathed his last. + +David looked at him sympathetically and said, "Well, it is not strange +that you cannot feel as I do. It is not by what befalls others, but by +what befalls ourselves, that we learn to hope and trust." + +The silence that came between them was broken by Mantel, who looked up +at him with a trace of the old ironical smile on his face. + +"Your plans are all right as far as they go, but it seems to me the +hardest part of the tangle still remains to be unraveled." + +"What do you mean?" asked David. + +"What are you going to do about this beautiful Pepeeta?" + +"Oh, I have settled that, too! You do not know how clearly I see it all. +It is as if a fog had lifted from the ocean, and the sailor had found +himself inside the harbor. I shall write and tell her all." + +"Do you mean that you will tell her that her husband is alive?" + +"I do." + +"And perhaps you will advise her to return to him!" + +"You are right, I shall." + +Mantel shook his head. + +"You do not think it best?" said David. + +"I do not know." + +"But there is nothing else to do." + +"It is natural that I should see only the difficulties." + +"What difficulties can there be?" + +"Will you do anything more than destroy her by binding her once more to +the man she loathes?" + +"You do not know Pepeeta." + +"It is true, I only know human nature." + +"But she is more than human!" + +"And are you?" + +"Not I!" + +"Then how will you endure to see her once more the wife of your enemy +and rival?" + +"Mantel," said David, pausing in his restless walk across the room, "I +do not wonder that you ask this. It was the first question that I asked +myself. It struck my heart like the blow of a hammer. But I have settled +it. I have weighed the pains which I have suffered in a just and even +balance. I know I cannot escape suffering, whichever way I turn. I have +felt the pains of doing wrong, and I now deliberately choose the pains +of doing right, let them be what they will!" + +"It is easy to scorn the bitterness of an untasted cup." + +"No matter! I have settled it. It must be done." + +Mantel shrugged his shoulders and said, "I am afraid that the great +Joker of whom we were talking yesterday is about to perpetrate another +of his jests." + +"You think it absurd, then?" + +"I regard it as impossible." + +"But why?" + +"Because you are making a plan to act as if you were a disembodied +conscience. You have forgotten that you still have the passions of a +man. I fear there will be another tragedy as dark as the first. But if +you are determined, I must obey you. I never know how to act for myself; +but if some one wishes me to act for him I can do so without fear, even +if I am compelled to do so without hope." + +David resumed his walk for a moment, and then pausing again before his +friend, said, "Mantel, a few years ago my soul was so sensitive to truth +and duty that I was accustomed to regard its intuitions as the will of +God revealed to me in some sort of supernatural way. I acted on the +impulses of my heart without the slightest question or hesitation, and +during that entire period of my life I cannot remember that I was ever +for a single time seriously mistaken or misled. While I obeyed those +intuitions and followed that mysterious light, I was happy. When I +turned my back on that light it ceased to shine. It has been more than +two years since I have thought I heard the voice of God or felt any +assurance that I was in the path of duty. But now the departed vision +has returned! I have had as clear a perception of my duty as was ever +vouchsafed me in the old sweet days, and I shall obey it if it costs me +my life." + +So deep was his earnestness that Mantel seemed to catch his enthusiasm +and be convinced. But in another instant the old mocking smile had +returned. + +"Would you be so tractable and obedient if the old beggar were in better +health?" he said, opening and shutting the leaves of a book which was +lying on the table, and looking out from under half-lifted eyelids. + +At this insinuation David winced, and for a moment seemed about to +resent it. But he restrained himself and replied gently, "The same +distrust of my motives has arisen in my own mind. I more than half +suspect that if, as you say, the old beggar were young and strong, my +heart would fail me. But the knowledge that I could not do my duty if +the doctor were going to live cannot be any reason for my not doing it +when I believe that he is likely to die! I am not called upon to do +wrong simply because I see that I am not wholly unselfish in doing +right. I am not asked to face a supposition, but a fact. I shall not +pride myself on any righteousness that I do not possess; but I must not +be kept from doing my duty because I am not a perfect man." + +"You are right," said Mantel, but his assent seemed more like a +concession than a conviction. He had grown to regard the passing +panorama of life as a great spectacular exhibition. The actors seemed +swayed by powers external to themselves, their movements exhibiting +such gross inconsistencies as to make it impossible to predict, and +almost impossible to guess them. He looked on with more curiosity than +interest, as at the different combinations in a kaleidoscope. He could +not conceive that David, or any one, could so come under the dominant +influence of a conviction as to act coherently and consistently upon it +through any or all emergencies. But he was kind and sympathetic, and his +heart responded to the passionate earnestness of his friend with a new +interest and pleasure. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +AS A TALE THAT IS TOLD + + + "First our pleasures die--and then + Our hopes and then our fears--and when + These are dead, the debt is due + Dust claims dust, and we die too." + + --Shelley. + + +The next few weeks were passed by these two subdued and altered friends +in devoted efforts to make the blind man comfortable and happy. True to +his determination, David sought and found a place to work, and after +reserving enough of his wages to supply the few necessities of his daily +life, dedicated the rest to the purchase of comforts for the poor +invalid. + +Mantel acted as his almoner, and by his delicate tact and gentle manners +persuaded the proud and revengeful old man to accept the mysterious +charity. The moment the strain of perpetual beggary was taken from him, +the physical ruin which the terrible blow of the stone, the subsequent +illness, and the ensuing poverty and wretchedness had wrought, became +manifest. He experienced a sudden relapse, and began to sink into an +ominous decline. + +Even had he not known the secret of his sorrow, it would have soon +become plain to his acute and watchful nurse that some hidden trouble +was gnawing at his heart, for he was taciturn, abstracted and sometimes +morose. He manifested no curiosity as to the benefactor upon whose +charity he was living, but received the alms bestowed by that unknown +hand as children receive the gifts of God--unsolicited, uncomprehended +and unobserved. + +His mind, aroused by the conversation of his untiring nurse to the +realities of the present existence, would sink back by a sort of +irresistible gravity into the realm of memory. There, in the +impenetrable privacy of his soul, he brooded over his wrongs and counted +his prospects of righting them, as a miser reckons his coins. + +The spasmodic workings of his countenance, the convulsive gripping of +his hands, the grinding of his great white teeth, the scalding tears +which sometimes fell from his sightless eyes, revealed to the mind of +his patient and watchful observer the passions secretly and ceaselessly +working in his soul. + +Mantel became fascinated by the study of this subjective drama. He used +to sit and watch the expressive curtain behind which these dark scenes +were being enacted, and fancy that he could follow the soul as, in the +spirit world, it tracked its foe, fell upon him and exacted its terrible +revenge. At times he imagined that he could actually see the enraged +thoughts issue from the body as if it were a den or cave, and they, +living beasts of prey ranging abroad by day and night, and returning +with their booty to devour it; or, if they had failed to take it, to +brood over the failure of their hunt. + +In all this time he asked for nothing, he complained of nothing, +commented on nothing. Mantel would have concluded that his heart was +dead had it not been for his pathetic demonstrations of affection for +the little terrier who had so faithfully guided him from his lodging to +the places where he sat and begged. + +The dog reciprocated these attentions with a devotion and a gratitude +which were human in their intensity and depth. It was as beautiful as it +was pathetic, to see these two friends bestowing upon each other their +few but expressive signs of love. + +Not until many weeks had passed did Mantel succeed in really engaging +his patient in anything like a conversation, and even after he had begun +to thaw a little under those tactful ministrations of love, whenever the +past was even hinted at the old recluse relapsed instantly into silence. + +Mantel might have been discouraged had he not determined at all hazards +to enter into the secrets of this life, and to pave the way for the +forgiveness of his friend. He therefore persisted in his efforts, and +one bright day when the invalid was feeling unusually strong ventured to +press home his inquiries. + +"I cannot help thinking," he said, "that you could soon be reasonably +well again if you did not brood so much. I fear there is some trouble +gnawing at your heart." + +"There is," he was answered, icily. + +"Have you wronged some one, then, and are these thoughts which vex you +feelings of remorse and guilt?" + +"Wronged some one!" the sick man fairly roared, gripping the arms of his +chair and gasping for breath in the excitement which the question +brought on. "Not I! I have been wronged! No one has ever b-b-been +wronged as I have. I have nourished vipers in my b-b-bosom and been +stung by them. I have sown love and reaped hate. I have been robbed, +deceived and betrayed! My wife is gone! My health is gone! My sight is +gone! He has skinned me like a sheep, c-c-curse him! My heart has turned +to a hammer which knocks at my ribs and cries revenge! It ch-ch-chokes +me!" + +He gasped, grew purple in the face and clutched at his collar as if +about to strangle. After a little the paroxysm passed away, and Mantel +determined once more to try and assuage this implacable hatred. + +To his own unbounded astonishment this young man who had long ago +abandoned his faith in Christianity, began to plead like an apostle for +the practice of its central and fundamental virtue. + +"My friend," he said, with a new solemnity in his manner, "you are on +the threshold of another world; how dare you present yourself to the +Judge of all the earth with a passion like this in your heart?" + +In the momentary rest the beggar had recovered strength enough to reply: +"It is t-t-true. I am on the threshold of another world! I didn't use to +b-b-believe there was one, but I do now. There must be! Would it b-b-be +right for such d-d-devils as the one that wrecked my life to g-g-go +unpunished? Not if I know anything! They get away from us here, but if +eternity is as long as they s-s-say it is, I'll find D-D-Dave Corson if +it t-t-takes the whole of it, and when I f-f-find him--" he paused +again, gasping and strangling. + +Mantel's pity was deeply stirred, and he would gladly have spared him +had he dared; but he did not, and permitting him to regain his breath, +he said: + +"And so you really mean to die without bestowing your pardon upon those +who have wronged you?" + +"I swear it!" + +"Have you ever heard the story of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ?" +asked Mantel, trembling at the name and at his own temerity in +pronouncing it. + +It was a strange situation into which this young skeptic had been forced +by the logic of circumstances. As the old beggar felt the ethical +necessity of another life, the young gambler felt the ethical necessity +of the crucifixion. It seemed to him that if the redemption of this +hate-smitten man hung on the capacity of his own heart to empty itself +of its bitterness, there was about as much hope as of a serpent +expelling the poison from its fangs! He had never before seen a man +under the absolute and unresisted power of one of the basal passions, +and neither he nor any one else has ever understood life until he has +witnessed that fearful spectacle. A summer breeze conveys no more idea +of a tornado, nor a burning chimney of a volcano, than ordinary vices +convey of that fearful ruin which any elemental passion works when +permitted to devastate a soul, unrestrained. The sight filled Mantel +with terror, and he felt himself compelled by some invincible necessity +to plead with the man in the name of the Saviour of the world. Long and +earnestly he besought him to forgive as Christ forgave; but all in vain! +So long had he brooded over his wrongs that his mind had either become +hopelessly impotent or else irretrievably hardened. The conversation had +so angered and exhausted the invalid that he presently crawled over to +his bed, threw himself upon it and sank almost instantly into a deep +sleep. + +With a heavy heart, Mantel left him and hurried home to report the +interview to David. He found him just returning from his work, and +conveyed his message by the gloom of his countenance. + +"Has anything, gone wrong?" David inquired, anxiously, as they entered +their room. + +Casting himself heavily into a seat and answering abstractedly, Mantel +replied, "Each new day of life renders it more inexplicable. A man no +sooner forms a theory than he is compelled to abandon it. I fear it is a +labyrinth from which we shall none of us escape." + +"Do not speak in parables," David exclaimed, impatiently, "If anything +is the matter, tell me at once. Do not leave me in suspense. I cannot +endure it. Is he worse? Is he dying?" + +"He is both, and more," Mantel answered, still unable to escape from the +gloom which enveloped him. + +"More? What more? Speak out. I cannot bear these indirections." + +"I have at last drawn from him a brief but terrible allusion to the +tragedy of your lives." + +"What did he say? Quick, tell me!" + +"He said that he had been wronged by those whom he had benefited." + +"It is too true, God knows; but what else did he say?" + +"That he would spend eternity in revenging his wrongs." + +"Horrible!" cried David, sinking into a chair. + +"Yes, more horrible than you know." + +"Did he show no mercy? Was there no sign of pardon?" + +"None! Granite is softer than his heart. Ice is warmer." + +David rose and paced the floor. Pausing before Mantel, he said, +piteously, "Perhaps he will relent when Pepeeta comes!" + +"Perhaps! Have you heard from her?" + +"No, but her answer cannot be much longer delayed, for I have written +again and again." + +"Something may have happened," said Mantel, who had lost all heart and +hope. + +"Do not say it," David exclaimed, beseechingly. + +"Well, but why does she not reply?" + +"It is a long distance. She may have changed her residence. She may +never go to the postoffice. She may be sick." + +"Or dead!" said Mantel, giving expression in two words to the fullness +of his despair. + +"Impossible!" exclaimed David, his face blanching at this sudden +articulation of the dread he had been struggling so hard to repress. + +"You do not know her!" he continued. "If you had ever seen her, you +could not speak of death. She was not made to die. I beg you to abandon +this mood. You will drive me to despair. I cannot live another moment +without the hope that I shall be forgiven by this old man whom I have so +terribly wronged, and I know that he will not forgive me unless I put +back into his hands the treasure of which I robbed him." + +"Corson," said Mantel, rising and taking David by the hand, "you must +give up this dream of receiving the old man's pardon." + +"I cannot!" + +"You must! He will not grant it even if Pepeeta comes. The knife has +gone too deep! His heart is broken, and his mind, I think, is deranged. +And more than this, he will not live until Pepeeta comes unless she +hastens on the wings of the wind. He is dying, Corson, dying. You cannot +imagine how he has withered away since you saw him. It is like watching +a candle flicker in its socket. You must abandon this hope, I say." + +"And I say that it is impossible." + +"But you must. What difference can it possibly make whether he forgives +you or not? The wrong is done. It cannot be undone." + +"What difference? What difference, did you say? Is it possible that you +do not know? Do you think a man could endure this life, hard enough at +the best, if he were haunted by a dead man's curse?" + +"Thousands have had to do so--millions; but do not let us talk about it +any more. We are nervous and unstrung. You will never be persuaded until +you see for yourself. If you wish to make the effort, you must do it +soon; in fact you must do it now. I have come to tell you that his +physician says he will not live until morning." + +"Then let us go!" cried David, seizing his hat and starting for the +door, white to the lips and trembling violently. + +They passed out into the night together and hurried away to the beggar's +room. Each was too burdened for talk and they walked in silence. +Arriving at the house, they ascended the stairs on tiptoe and paused to +listen at the door. "I will leave it ajar, so you may hear what he says, +and then you can judge if I am right," said Mantel, entering quietly. + +He approached the table and turned up the lamp which he had left burning +dimly. By its pale light David could see the great head lying on the +pillow, the chin elevated, the mouth partially open, the breast heaving +with the painful efforts to catch a few last fluttering inspirations. + +Nestling close to the ashen face and licking the cheek now and then with +his little red tongue, was the terrier. + +Mantel's footfall, quiet as it was, disturbed the sleeper, who moved, +turned his head toward the sound and asked in a husky and but +half-audible voice, "Who is there?" + +"It is I. How are you now? A little better?" said Mantel, laying his +soft, cool hand upon the broad forehead, wet already with the +death-damp. + +"I am getting weaker. It won't--last--long," he answered painfully. + +"Do you think so?" + +"I know it." + +"Are you satisfied?" + + +"It can't--be--helped." + +"No, it can't be helped. The doctor has told me you cannot live through +the night." + +"The--sooner--the--better!" + +"I do not want to bother you, but I cannot bear to have you die without +talking to you again about your future; I must try once more to persuade +you not to die without sending some kind word to the people who have +wronged you." + +The expression of the white face underwent a hideous transformation. + +"If you do not feel like talking to me about a matter so sacred and +personal, would you not like to have me send for some minister or +priest?" + +The head moved slowly back and forth in a firm negation. + +"In every age, and among all men, it has seemed fitting that those who +were about to die should make some preparation to meet their God. Have +you no desire to do this?" + +A fierce light shone upon the emaciated countenance and the thin lips +slowly articulated these words: "I--myself--will--settle--with--God! +He--will--have--to--account--to--me--for--all--he--has--made--me--suffer!" + +The listener at the door leaned against the wall for support. + +"Is there absolutely no word of pardon or of kindness which you wish to +send to those who have injured you, as a sort of legacy from the grave?" + +"None!" he whispered fiercely. + +"Suppose that your enemy should come to see you. Suppose that a great +change had come over him; that he, too, had suffered deeply; that your +wife had discovered his treachery and left him; that he had bitterly +repented; that he had made such atonement as he could for his sin; that +it was he who has been caring for you in these last hours, could you not +pardon him?" + +These words produced an extraordinary effect on the dying man. For the +first time he identified his enemy with his friend, and as the discovery +dawned upon his mind a convulsion seized and shook his frame. He slowly +and painfully struggled to a sitting posture, lifted his right hand +above his head and said in tones that rang with the raucous power of +by-gone days: + +"Curse him! If I had known that I was eating his b-b-bread, it would +have choked me! Send him to me! Where is he?" + +"I am here," said David, quietly entering the door. "I am here to throw +myself on your mercy and to beg you, for the love of God, to forgive +me." + +As he heard the familiar voice, the beggar trembled. He made one last +supreme effort to look out of his darkened eyes. An expression of +despairing agony followed the attempt, and then, with both his great +bony hands, he clutched at the throat of his night robe as if choking +for breath, tore it open and reaching down into his bosom felt for some +concealed object. He found it at last, grasped it and drew it forth. It +was a shining blade of steel. + +Mantel sprang to take it from his hand; but David pushed him back and +said calmly, "Let him alone." + +"Yes, let me alone," cried the blind man, trembling in every limb, and +crawling slowly and painfully from the bed. + +The movements of the dying man were too slow and weak to convey any +adequate expression of the tempest raging in his soul. It was incredible +that a tragedy was really being enacted, and that this poor trembling +creature was thirsting for the lifeblood of a mortal foe. + +David did not seek to escape. He did not even shudder. There was a +singular expression of repose on his features, for in his desperation he +solaced himself by the reflection that he was about to render final +satisfaction for a sin whose atonement had become otherwise impossible. +He therefore folded his arms across his breast and stood waiting. + +The contorted face of the furious beggar afforded a terrible contrast to +the tranquil countenance of the penitent and unresisting object of his +hatred. The opaque flesh seemed to have become transparent, and through +it glowed the baleful light of hatred and revenge. The lips were drawn +back from the white teeth, above which the great mustache bristled +savagely. The lids were lifted from the hollow and expressionless eyes. +Balancing himself for an instant he moved forward; but the emaciated +limbs tottered under the weight of the body. He reeled, caught himself, +then reeled once more, and lunged forward in the direction from which he +had heard the voice of his enemy. + +Again Mantel strove to intercept him, and again David forced him back. + +Uncertain as to the exact location of the object of his hatred, he +raised his knife and struck at random; but the blow spent itself in air. + +The futility and helplessness of his efforts crazed him. + +"Where are you? G-g-give me some sign!" he cried. + +"I am here," said David in a voice whose preternatural calmness sent a +shudder to the heart of his friend. + +With one supreme and final effort, the dying man lurched forward and +threw himself wildly toward the sound. His hand, brandishing the dagger, +was uplifted and seemed about to descend on his foe; but at that very +instant, with a frightful imprecation upon his lips, the gigantic form +collapsed, the knife dropped from the hand, and he plunged, a corpse, +into the arms of his intended victim. + +David received the dead weight upon the bosom at which the dagger had +been aimed, and the first expression of his face indicated a certain +disappointment that a single blow had not been permitted to end his +troubles, as well as terror at an event so appalling. He stood +spellbound for a moment, supporting the awful burden, and then, +overpowered with the horror of the situation, cried out, + +"Take him, Mantel! take him! Help me to lay him down! Quick, I cannot +stand it; quick!" + +They laid the lifeless form on the bed, while the little dog, leaping up +beside his dead master, threw his head back and emitted a series of +prolonged and melancholy howls. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +OUT OF THE JAWS OF DEATH + + "Men deal with life as children with their play, + Who first misuse, then cast their toys away." + --Cowper. + + +Bewildered by the scene through which he had just passed, Corson +returned to his rooms and spent the night in a sort of stupor. What +happened the next day he never knew; but on the following morning he +accompanied Mantel to the cemetery where, with simple but reverent +ceremony, they committed the body of the doctor to the bosom of earth. + +Just as they were about to turn away, after the conclusion of the burial +service, a strange thing happened. The limb of a great elm tree, which +had been tied back to keep it out of the way of the workmen, was +released by the old sexton and swept back over the grave. + +It produced a similar impression upon the minds of both the subdued +spectators. They glanced at each other, and Mantel said, "It was like +the wing of an angel!" + +"Yes," added David with a sigh, "and seemed to brush away and obliterate +all traces of his sorrow and his sins." + +They did not speak during their homeward journey, and when they reached +their rooms David paced uneasily backward and forward until the shadows +of evening had fallen. When he suddenly observed that it was dusk, he +took his hat and went out into the streets. There was something so +restless and unnatural about his movements as to excite the suspicion of +his friend, who waited for a single moment and then hurried after him. + +The night was calm and clear, the autumn stars were shining in a +cloudless sky, and the tide of life which had surged through the busy +streets all day was ebbing like the waters from the bays and estuaries +along the shore of the ocean. + +The sounds the people made in tramping over the stone pavements or +hurriedly driving over the hard streets, possessed a strangely different +quality from the monotonous and grinding roar of the daylight. They were +sharp, clear, resonant and emphatic. A single footfall attracted the +attention of a listener more than the previous shuffle of a thousand +feet. David's,--soft and subdued as it was,--resounded loudly, echoing +from the buildings on either side of him as he slowly paced along. + +It was evident to every one who met him that he was moving aimlessly. +Now and then some keen-eyed pedestrian stopped to take a second look +and, turning to do so, felt an instinctive pity for this burdened, +care-encumbered man, wending his way through the almost deserted +streets. + +This gaze was unreturned and this sympathy unperceived. He was in one of +those fits of abstraction when the whole external universe with all its +beauties and sublimities has ceased to exist. His cup of misery was +full, he had lost all clue to the meaning of life and a single definite +idea had taken complete possession of his mind. It was that he was +doomed to pass his existence under a curse. + +By the very nature of its being, the soul is keenly sensitive to +blessings and curses, and it is not alone the benediction of the mitred +priest that thrills the heart! That of the pauper upon whom we have +bestowed alms sometimes awakens in our bosom a hope and gladness out of +all proportion to the insignificant source from which it has proceeded. +Nor do we need to be cursed by the great and the powerful to feel a pang +of terror in our souls! Let but some helpless wretch whom we have +wronged commit his cause to heaven in a single syllable, and we shudder +as if we already heard the approach of those avenging feet which the +ancients said were shod with wool. The curse of the dead and impotent +beggar rang in the ears of the fugitive like the strokes of an alarm +bell. That deep sense of justice which had been formed in his early life +had been revivified and endowed with a resistless power. + +At such moments as these through which he was passing man experiences no +doubt as to the nature and origin of conscience. He is as sure that the +terror aroused in his heart is the echo of the decision of some real and +awful tribunal as that the wave upon the shore is produced by some real +though invisible storm at sea, or the shadow on the mountain by some +palpable object between it and the sun. + +The conscience is not only "a secretion in the brain," it is not only +the "accumulated observations of the universal man upon the phenomena of +the moral life," it is not only his study of the laws of cause and +effect distilled into maxims and forebodings; it is this, but it is more +than this--as every total is more than any of its parts. For every man +has something which is in him, but not of him. It resides within his +intelligence, but it is not so much the offspring of his intelligence as +an emissary that has taken up its residence there! This obscure +something is stronger than he. He does not subordinate it to himself, +but is subordinated by it. He can rebel against it, but he cannot +overthrow it. He can fly from it, but he cannot escape it. + +This sublime and mysterious power had at last obtained complete +ascendency in the soul of David Corson. He no longer argued and he no +longer resisted. He saw no way of escape from the spiritual anaconda +which was tightening its folds around him. + +This was all the more strange because the way to the satisfaction of the +irrepressible hunger of his heart was now open. Pepeeta's husband was +dead, and although he was not innocent of a great crime, he was at least +not a murderer. Pepeeta still loved him, if she were still alive. Of +this he had no more doubt than of his love for her. Why then did he thus +give up to despair? Why did he not fly to her arms and claim from life +that happiness which had hitherto escaped his grasp? + +He did not try to solve these problems, nor to comprehend his own +despair. He only knew that he had been baffled at every turn of his life +by powers with which he was unable to cope, and that he was tired of the +struggle. He would give himself up to the mighty stream of events and be +borne along. If he was exercising any volition in the choice of the path +he was following, he was doing it unconsciously. That path was leading +him direct to the harbor. It was a pathway well-worn by tired feet like +his own. + +The miserable creatures who had preceded him seemed to have formed a +sort of wake by which he was being drawn along to that "wandering grave" +in the deep sea. At last he reached the water's edge, and started as he +heard the waves splashing among the wooden piles. The soft, sibilant +sounds seemed like kisses on the lips of the victims of their +treacherous caresses. + +The deed of which they whispered seemed but the logical conclusion of +his entire career. He put his foot upon the edge of the wharf and looked +down into the dark abyss. + +It was at this critical instant that his faithful friend extended his +hand to save him; but at the same instant another and mightier hand was +also extended from the sky. + +From a remote part of the Battery a sound cut the silent air. It was a +human voice, masculine, powerful, tender and pleading, lifted in a +sacred song. That sound was the first element of the objective world +which had penetrated the consciousness of the tortured and desperate +would-be suicide. + +He turned and listened--and as he did so, Mantel sprang back among the +shadows just in time to escape his observation. The full-throated music, +floating on the motionless air, fell upon his ear like a benediction. He +listened, and caught the words of a hymn with which he had been familiar +in his childhood: + + "Light of those whose dreary dwelling + Borders on the shades of death! + Rise on us, thy love revealing, + Dissipate the clouds beneath. + Thou of heaven and earth creator-- + In our deepest darkness rise, + Scattering all the night of nature, + Pouring day upon our eyes." + +By the spell of this mysterious music he was drawn back into the living +world--drawn as if by some powerful magnet. + +Pain and sorrow had become tired of vexing him at last, and now +stretched forth their hands in a ministry of consolation. With his eyes +fixed on the spot from which the music issued, he moved unconsciously +toward it, Mantel following him. + +A few moments' walking brought him to a weird spectacle. A torch had +been erected above a low platform on which stood a man of most unique +and striking personality. He looked like a giant in the wavering light +of the torch. He was dressed in the simple garb of a Quaker; his head +was bare; great locks of reddish hair curled round his temples and fell +down upon his shoulders. His massive countenance bespoke an +extraordinary mind, and beamed with rest and peace. + +As he sang the old familiar hymn, he looked around upon his audience +with an expression such as glowed, no doubt, from the countenance of the +Christ when He spoke to the multitudes on the shores of Lake Genessaret. + +Close to the small platform was a circle of street Arabs, awed into +silence and respect by the charm of this remarkable personality. Next to +them came a ring of women--some of them old and gray, with haggard and +wrinkled countenances upon which Time, with his antique pen, had traced +many illegible hieroglyphs; some of them young and bedizened with tinsel +jewelry and flashy clothing; not a few of them middle-aged, wan, +dispirited and bearing upon their hips bundles wrapped in faded shawls, +from which came occasionally that most distressing of sounds, the wail +of an ill-fed and unloved infant, crying in the night. + +Outside of this zone of female misery and degradation, there was a belt +of masculine stupidity and crime; men with corpulent bodies, bull necks, +double chins, pile-driving heads; men of shrunken frames, cadaverous +cheeks, deep-set and beady eyes--vermin-covered, disease-devoured, +hope-deserted. They clung around him, these concentric circles of +humanity, like rings around a luminous planet, held by they knew not +what resistless attraction. + +The simple melody, borne upon the pinions of that resonant and +cello-like voice, attained an almost supernatural influence over their +perverted natures. When it ceased, an audible sigh arose, an involuntary +tribute of adoration and of awe. + +As soon as he had finished his hymn, this consecrated apostle to the +lost sheep of the great city opened a well-worn volume. + +The passage which he read, or rather chanted, was the fifty-third +chapter of Isaiah, the awe-inspiring sentences sending through the +circles of humanity which were tightening about him visible vibrations. + +When he finished his reading, he began an address full of homely wit and +pathos, in which, with all the rich and striking imagery culled from a +varied life in the wildernesses of the great forests and the great +cities of our continent, he appealed to that consciousness of "the true, +the beautiful and the good" which he believed to lie dormant, but +capable of resurrection, in the soul of every man. + +A few of his auditors were too far gone with fatigue or intoxication to +follow him, and elbowing their way through the crowd shot off into the +night upon their various tangents of stupidity or crime; but most of the +spectators listened with a sort of rapt and involuntary attention. + +The influence which he exerted over the mind of the young man whom he +had unconsciously saved from suicide was as irresistible as it was +inscrutable. His language had the charm of perfect familiarity. Every +word and phrase had fallen from his own lips a hundred times in similar +exhortations. In fact, they seemed to him strangely like the echo of his +own voice coming back upon him from the dim and half-forgotten past. + +His interest and excitement culminated in an incident for which the +listener was totally unprepared. The speaker who had been exhorting his +audience upon the testimony of prophet and apostle now appealed to his +own personal experience. + +"Look at me!" he said, laying his great hand on his broad chest. "I was +once as hardened and desperate a man as any of you; but God saved me! +See this book!" he added, holding up the old volume. "I will tell you a +story about it. I found it in a log cabin away out in the frontier state +of Ohio. Listen, and I will tell you how. I had left a lumber camp with +a company of frontiersmen one Sunday morning, to go to a new clearing +which 'we were making in the wilderness, when I suddenly discovered that +I had forgotten my axe. Swearing at my misfortune, I returned to get it. +As I approached the cabin which I had left a few minutes before, I heard +a human voice. I paused in surprise, crept quietly to the door and +listened. Some one was talking in almost the very language in which I +have spoken to you. I was frightened and fled! Escaping into the depths +of the forest, I lay down at the root of a great tree, and for the +first time in my life I made a silence in my soul and listened to the +voice of God. I know not how long I lay there; but at last when I +recovered my consciousness I returned to the cabin. It was silent and +empty; but on the floor I found this book." + +"Good God!" exclaimed a voice. + +So rapt had been the attention of the hearers that at this unexpected +interruption the women screamed and the men made a wide path for the +figure that burst through them and rushed toward the platform. + +The speaker paused and fixed his eye upon the man who pressed eagerly +toward him. + +"Tell me whether a red line is drawn down the edge of that chapter, and +a hand is pointing toward the fifth and sixth verses!" he cried. + +"It is," replied the lumberman. + +"Then let me take it!" exclaimed David, reaching out his trembling +hands. + +"What for?" + +"Because it is mine! I am the man who proclaimed the holy faith, and, +God forgive me, abandoned it even as you received it!" + +The astonished lumberman handed him the Bible, and he covered it with +kisses and tears. In the meantime, the crowd, excited by the spectacular +elements of the drama, surged round the actors, and the preacher, +reaching down, took David by the arm and raised him to the platform. + +"Be quiet, my friends," he said with a gesture of command, "and when +this prodigal has regained his composure we will ask him to tell us his +story." + +Of what was transpiring around him, David seemed to be entirely +unconscious and at last the fickle crowd became impatient. + +"What's de matter wid you?" said a sarcastic voice. + +"Speak out! Don't snuffle," exclaimed another. + +"Tip us your tale," cried a fourth. + +"Go on. Go on. We're waiting," called many more. + +These impatient cries at last aroused David from his waking dream, he +drew his hand over his eyes, and began his story. + +For a time the strange narrative produced a profound impression. Heads +drooped as if in meditation upon the mystery and meaning of life; +significant glances were exchanged; tears trembled in many eyes; these +torpid natures received a shock which for a moment awakened them to a +new life. + +But it was only for a moment. They were incapable of the sustained +effort of thought, of ambition, or of will. Impressions made upon their +souls were like those made on the soft folds of a garment by the passing +touch of a hand. + +To their besotted perceptions this scene was like a play in a Bowery +theater, and now that the dramatic denouement had come, they lost their +interest and sauntered away singly or in little groups. In a few moments +there were only three figures left in the light of the flaming torch, +They were those of the lumberman, David, and Mantel, who now drew near, +took his friend by the hand and pressed it with a gentle sympathy. + +"Where did you come from?" asked David in surprise, as he for the first +time recognized his companion. + +"I have followed you all the evening," Mantel replied. + +"Then you have heard the story of this book?" + +"I have, and I could not have believed it without hearing." + +"Can you spare us a little of your time?" said David, turning to the +lumberman. + +"I owe you all the time you wish and all the service I can render," he +replied. + +"You have more than paid your debt by what you have done for me +to-night, but who are you?" + +"I am only another voice crying in the wilderness." + +"Is this your only business in life--to speak to the outcast and the +wretched as you did to-night?" + +"This is all." + +David looked his admiration. + +"How do you support yourself?" asked Mantel, to whom such a man was a +phenomenon. + +"We do not any of us support ourselves so much as we are supported," he +replied. + +"And this life of toil and self-denial had its origin in those words I +spoke in the empty lumber camp?" asked David, incredulously. + +"It is not a life of self-denial, but that was its beginning." + +"It is a mystery. I lost my faith and you found it, and now perhaps you +are going to give it back again!" David said. + +The lumberman turned his searching eyes kindly on Mantel's face and +said, "And how is it with thee, my friend; hast thou the peace of God?" + +The directness of the question startled the gambler. "I have, no peace +of any kind; my heart is full of storms and my life is a ruin," he +answered sadly. + +"Did thee never notice," said the lumberman gently, "how nature loves to +reclaim a ruin?" + +"In what way?" + +"By covering it with vines and moss." + +The unexpected nature of this answer and the implied encouragement +produced a deep impression on the mind of the gambler, but he answered: + +"I shall never be reclaimed. I have gone too far. I have often tried to +find the true way of life, and prayed for a single glimpse of light! +Have you ever heard how Zeyd used to spend hours leaning against the +wall of the Kaaba and praying, 'Lord, if I knew in what manner thou +wouldst have me adore thee, I would obey thee; but I do not! Oh! give me +light!' I have prayed that prayer with all that agony, but, to me, the +universe is dark as hell!" + +"There is light enough! It is eyes we need!" said the evangelist. + +"Light! Who has it? Many think they have, but it is mere fancy. They +mistake the shining of rotten wood for fire!" + +"And sometimes men have walked in the light without seeing it, as fish +swimming in the sea and birds flying in the air, might say, 'Where is +the sea?' 'Where is the air?'" + +"But what comfort is it, if there is light, and I cannot see it? There +might as well be no light at all!" + +"The bird never knows it has wings until it tries them! We see, not by +looking for our eyes, but by looking out of them. We say of a little +child that it has to 'find its legs.' Some men have to find their eyes." + +"It is an art, then, to see?" + +"I would even call it a trick, if I dared." + +"Can you impart that capacity and teach that art?" + +"No, it must be acquired by each man for himself. We can only tell +others 'we see.'" + +"I only know that I wish I could see!" + +"We see by faith." + +"And what is faith?" + +"It is a power of the soul as much higher than reason as reason is +higher than sense." + +"Some men may possess such power, but I do not." + +"You at least have an imagination." + +"Yes." + +"Well, faith is but the imagination spiritualized." + +Mantel regarded the man who spoke in these terse and pregnant sentences +with astonishment. "This," said he, "is not the same language in which +you addressed the people in the Battery. This is the language of a +philosopher! Do all lumbermen in the west speak thus?" + +The evangelist began to reply, but was interrupted by David, who now +burst out in a sudden exclamation of joy and gratitude. He had been too +busy with reflections and memories to participate actively in the +conversation, for this startling incident had disclosed to him the whole +slow and hidden movement of the providence of his life towards this +climax and opportunity. He was profoundly moved by a clear conviction +that a divine hand must have planned and superintended this whole web of +events, and had intentionally led him from contemplating the tragic +issue of his sinful deeds and desires, to this vision of the good he had +done in the better moments of his life. This strange coincidence, to a +mind like his, could leave no room for doubt that the hand of God was on +him, and that, after all, he had been neither abandoned nor forgotten. +The lumberman had been sent at this critical moment to save him! There +was still hope! + +With that instantaneous movement in which his disordered conceptions of +life invariably re-formed themselves, the chaotic events of the past +shifted themselves into a purposeful and comprehensible series, and +revealed beyond peradventure the hand of God. + +And as this conclusion burst upon him, he broke into the conversation of +Mantel and the lumberman with the warmest exclamations of gratitude and +happiness. + +They talked a long time in the quiet night, asking and answering +questions. The two friends besought the evangelist to accompany them to +their rooms, but he said: + +"I have given you my message and must pass on. My work is to bear +testimony. I sow the seed and leave its cultivation and the harvest to +others." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +THE GREAT REFUSAL + + "But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful." + + +Too busy with their own thoughts to talk on the way home, on entering +their rooms Mantel threw himself into a chair, while David nervously +began to gather his clothes together and crowd them hastily into a +satchel. + +"What's up?" asked Mantel. + +"I'm off in the morning." + +"Which way are you going?" + +"There is only one way. I am going to find Pepeeta." + +"Do you really expect to succeed?" + +"Expect to! I am determined!" + +"It's a sudden move." + +"Sudden! everything is sudden. Events have simply crashed upon me +lately! When I think of the fluctuations of hope and despair, of +certainty and uncertainty through which I have gone in the past few +hours, I am stupefied." + +"And I never go through any! My life is like a dead and stagnant +sea--nothing agitates it. If I could once be upheaved from the bottom or +churned into a foam from the top, I think I might amount to something." + +"You ought to quit this business, Mantel, and come with me. I am going +to find Pepeeta, take her back to that quiet valley where I lived, and +get myself readjusted to life. I need time for reflection, and so do +you. What do you say? Will you join me? I cannot bear to leave you? You +have been a friend, and I love you!" + +"Thanks, Corson, thanks. You have come nearer to stirring this dead +heart of mine than any one since--well, no matter. I reciprocate your +feeling. I shall have a hard time of it after you have gone." + +"Then join me." + +"It is impossible." + +"But why? This life will destroy you sooner or later." + +"Oh--that's been done already." + +"No, it hasn't. There are more noble things in you than you realize. +What you need is to give them scope and let them out." + +"You don't know me. What you see is all on the surface. If I ever had +any power of decision or action it has gone. I am the victim, and not +the master of my destiny. I am drifting along like a derelict, with no +compass to guide, rudder to steer or anchor to grip the bottom." + +"Make another effort, old man, do! Look at me. I was in as bad a fix as +you are only a little while ago." + +"Yes; but see what has happened to you! Circumstances have tumbled you +out of the nest, and of course you had to fly. I wish something would +happen to me! I would almost be glad to have lightning strike me." + +"What you say is true in a way, of course. I know I don't deserve any +credit for breaking out of this life. But don't you think a man can do +it alone, without any such frightful catastrophes to help him? It seems +to me, now, that I could. I feel as if I could burst through stone +walls." + +"Of course you do, my dear fellow, and you can. But something has put +strength into you! That's what I need." + +"Well, let me put it into you! Lean on me. I can't bear to leave you +here and see you go down! Come, brace up. Make an effort. Decide. Tear +yourself away!" + +"You actually make my heart flutter, Davy; I feel as if I would really +like to do it. But I can't. It's no use. I shouldn't get across the +ferry before I'd begin to hang back." + +"But you don't belong to this life. You are above it, naturally. You +ought to be a force for good in the world. Society needs such men as you +are, and needs them badly. Come! If I can break these meshes you can." + +"No, my dear fellow, that's a non-sequitur. There is different blood +flowing in our veins, and we have had a different environment and +education. As far back as I know anything about them, my people have all +lived on the surface of life, and I have floated along with them. But, +by heavens--I have at least seen down into the depths!" + +"Well, I have my inheritance of bad blood also. I had a father who was +not only weak but wicked." + +"Yes, but think of your mother." + +"Mantel, you are carrying this too far. A man is something more than the +mere chemical product of his ancestor's blood and brains! Every one has +a new and original endowment of his own. He must live and act for +himself." + +"Maybe so, but everything seems, at least, to be a fixed and inevitable +consequence of what has gone before. I don't want to disparage this last +act of yours, but see how far back its roots reach into the past. See +what a chain of events led up to it, and what frightful causes have been +operating to bring you up to the sticking point! How long ago was it +that you were just as ready to throw up the game?" + +"Horrible! Don't speak of it! It makes me tremble. I am not worthy to +defend or even advocate a life of endeavor and victory, Mantel, and I +will not try; but I know that I am right." + +"Yes, Dave, you are right; I know it as well as you. I am only talking +to ease my conscience. I know I ought to snap these cords, and I know I +can. But I also know that I am grinding here in this devil's mill while +every bad man makes sport and every good man weeps! And I know that I +shall keep on grinding while you and thousands of other noble fellows +with less brains, perhaps, and fewer chances than mine, make wild dashes +for liberty and do men's work in the world. But here I am, cold and +dead, and here I remain." + +"Can nothing persuade you--not love? I love you, Mantel! Come, let us go +together. Who knows what we can do if we try? I must persuade you!" + +"I am like a ship in a sea of glue. You touch me, but you don't persuade +me! It's no use. I cannot budge. The aspirations you awaken in my soul +leap up above the surface like little fishes from a pond, and as quickly +fall back again! No, I cannot go. Don't press me--it makes me feel like +the young man in the gospel, who made what Dante calls 'the great +refusal;' he saw that young man's 'shade' in hell." + +They were sitting on the sill of a deep window in what had once been one +of the most fashionable mansions of the city. The sash was raised, and +the light of the moon fell full upon their young faces. They ceased +speaking after Mantel had uttered those solemn words, and looked out +over the housetops to the water of the great river. It was long after +midnight, and not a sound broke the stillness. Fleecy clouds were +drifting across the sky, and a vessel under full sail was going silently +down the river toward the open sea. They had involuntarily clasped each +other's hands, and as their hearts opened and disclosed their secrets +they were drawn closer and closer together until their arms stole about +each other's necks. For a few brief moments they were boys again. The +vices that had hardened their hearts and shut their souls up in lonely +isolation relaxed their hold. That sympathy which knit the hearts of +David and Johnathan together made their's beat as one. + +David broke the silence. "I cannot bear to leave you, Mantel. Join me. +Such feelings as these which stir us so deeply to-night do not come too +often. It must be dangerous to resist them. I suppose there are slight +protests and aspirations in the soul all the time, but these to-night +are like the flood of the tide." + +"Yes," said Mantel; "the Nile flows through Egypt every day, but flows +over it only once a year." + +"And this is the time to sow the seed, isn't it?" + +"So they say. But you must remember that you feel this more deeply than +I do, Davy. I am moved. I have a desire to do better, but it isn't large +enough. It is like a six-inch stream trying to turn a seven-foot wheel. + +"Don't make light of it, Mantel!" + +"I don't mean to, but you must not overestimate the impressions made on +me. I am not so good as you think." + +"I wish you had the courage to be as good as you are." + +"But there is no use trying to be what I am not. If I should start off +with you, I should never be able to follow you. My old self would get +the victory. In the long run, a man will be himself. 'Nature is often +hidden, sometimes overcome--seldom extinguished.'" + +"What a mood you are in, Mantel! It makes me shiver to hear you talk so. +Here I am, full of hope and purpose; my heart on fire; believing in +life; confident of the outcome; and you, a better man by nature than I +am, sitting here, cold as a block of ice, and the victim of despair! I +ought to be able to do something! Sweet as life is to me to-night, I +feel that I could lay it down to save you." + +"Dear fellow!" said Mantel, grasping his hands and choking with emotion; +"you don't know how that moves me! It can't seem half so strange to you +as it does to me; but I must be true to myself. If I told you I would +take this step I should not be honest. No! Not to-night! Sometime, +perhaps. I haven't much faith in life, but I swear I don't believe, bad +man as I am, that anybody can ever go clear to the bottom, without being +rescued by a love like that! I'll never forget it, Davy; never! It will +save me sometime; but you must not talk any more, you are tired out. Go +to bed, friend, brother, the only one I ever really had and loved. You +will need your sleep. Leave me alone, and I will sit the night out and +chew the bitter cud." + +It was not until daybreak that David ceased his supplications and lay +down to snatch a moment's rest. When he awoke, he sprang up suddenly and +saw Mantel still sitting before the open window where he left him, +smoking his cigar and pondering the great problem. + +"I have had a wonderful dream," he said. + +"What was it?" asked Mantel. + +"I dreamt that I was swimming alone in a vast ocean,--weary, exhausted, +desperate and sinking,--but just as I was going down a hand was thrust +out of the sky, and although I could not reach it, so long as I kept my +eyes on it I swam with perfect ease; while, just the moment I took them +off, my old fatigue came back and I began to sink. When I saw this, I +never looked away for even a second, and the sea seemed to bear me up +with giant arms. I swam and swam as easily as men float, day after day +and year after year, until I reached the harbor." + +"Whose hand was it?" + +"I couldn't tell." + +"Well, swim on and look up, Davy, and God bless you." + +They parted at dawn, one to break through the meshes and escape, and the +other--! + +In Australia, when drought drives the rabbits southward, the ranchmen, +terrified at their approach, have only to erect a woven wire fence on +the north side of their farms to be perfectly safe, for the poor things +lie down against it and die in droves--too stupid to go round, climb +over, or dig under! It is a comfort to see one of them now and then who +has determined to find the green fields on the southward side--no matter +what it costs! + +Weak and bad as he had been, David at least took the first path which he +saw leading up to the light. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +THE END OF EXILE + + "Every one goes astray, and the least imprudent is he who + repents soonest." --Voltaire. + + +The steamer on which Corson embarked after his overland journey from New +York City to Pittsburg, had descended the Ohio almost as far as +Cincinnati, before other thoughts than those which were concerned with +Pepeeta and his spiritual regeneration could awaken any interest in his +mind. But as the boat approached Cincinnati, the places, the persons and +the incidents of his childhood world began to present themselves to his +consciousness. An irrepressible longing to look once more upon the place +of his birth and the friends of his youth took possession of his mind. + +He found, on inquiry, that the boat was to remain at the wharf in +Cincinnati for several hours, and that there would be time enough for +him to make the journey to his old home and back before she proceeded +down the river. He decided to do so, and observed with satisfaction that +those painful gropings for the next stepping stone across the streams of +action which had been so persistent and painful a feature of his recent +life had given place to the swift intuitions of his youth. He saw his +way as he used to when a boy, and made his decisions rapidly and +executed them fearlessly. The discovery of this fact gave a new zest +and hope to life. + +In a few moments after he had landed at the familiar wharf he was +mounted upon a fleet horse, rushing away over those beautiful rolling +hills which fill the mind of the traveler with uncloying delight in +their variety, their fertility and their beauty. It was the first time +since he had left the farm that his mind had been free enough from +passion or pain to bestow its full attention upon the charms of Nature; +they dawned on him now like a new discovery. The motion of the +horse,--so long unfamiliar, so easy, so graceful, so rhythmical,--seemed +of itself to key his spirits to his environment, for it is an elemental +pleasure to be seated in the saddle and feel the thrill of power and +rapid motion. The rider's eyes brightened, his cheeks glowed, his pulses +bounded. He gathered up the beauties of the world around him in great +sheaves of delicious and thrilling sensations. Long-forgotten odors came +sweeping across the fields, rich with the verdure of the vernal season, +and brought with them precious accompaniments of the almost-forgotten +past. The rich and varied colors of field and sky and forest fed his +starved soul with one kind of beauty; and the sweet sounds of the +outdoor world intoxicated him with another. The low of cattle, the +bleating of sheep, the crowing of chanticleers, the cackling of hens, +the gobble of turkeys, the multitudinous songs of the birds enveloped +him in a sort of musical atmosphere. For the first time since his +restoration to hope, the past seemed like a dream, and these few +blissful moments became a prophecy of a new and grander life. "For, if +the burden can fall off for a single moment, why not for many moments?" +So he said to himself, as the consciousness of his past misery and his +unknown future thrust their disturbing faces into the midst of these +blissful emotions. + +The vague joys which had been surging through his soul became vivid and +well-defined as the details of the landscape around his old home began +gradually to be revealed. At first he had recognized only the larger and +more general features like the lines of hills, the valleys, the rivers; +but now he began to distinguish well-known farms and houses, streams in +which he had fished, groves in which he had hunted, roads over which he +had driven; and the pleasure of reviving old memories and associations +increased with every step of progress. At last he began to ascend the +high hill which hid the house of his childhood from view. He reached the +summit; there lay the village fast asleep in the spring sunshine. He +recognized it, but with astonishment, for it looked like a miniature of +its former self. The buildings that once appeared so grand had shrunk to +playhouses. The broad streets had contracted and looked like narrow +lanes. He rubbed his eyes to see if they were deceiving him. + +An unreality brooded mysteriously over everything. It was the same, yet +not the same, and he paused a moment to permit his mind to become +accustomed to these alterations; to ponder upon the reasons for this +change; to realize the joy and sadness which mingled in his heart; and +then he turned into a side road to escape any possible encounter with +old acquaintances. + +The route which he had chosen did not lead to the farm house, but to the +cemetery where the body of his mother lay wrapped in her dreamless +sleep; that neglected grave was drawing him to itself with a magnetic +force. He who, for a year, had thought of her scarcely at all, now +thought of nothing else. The last incident in her life, the face white +with its intolerable pain of confession, the gasp for breath, the sudden +fall, the quiet funeral, his own responsibility for this tragic +death--he lived it all over and over again in an instant of time as +grief, regret, remorse, successively swept his heart. Tying his horse +outside the lonely burying ground, he threaded his way among the +myrtle-covered graves to the low mound which marked her resting place, +approached it, removed his hat and stood silently, reverently, by its +side. + +There come to us all hours or moments of sudden and unexpected +disclosures of the hidden meaning of life. Such an one came to David, +there by that lowly grave. He saw, as in the light of eternity, the +grandeur and beauty of that character which the story of her sin and +suffering had made him in his immaturity, misinterpret and despise! He +did not comprehend that tragic story when she told it; it was impossible +that he should, for he had no knowledge or experience adequate to +furnish him the clew. Nothing is more inconceivable and impossible to a +child than the possibility of his parents dying or doing wrong. When he +awakens to consciousness he finds around him eternal things,--rocks, +hills, rivers, stars, parents! They all seem to belong to the same order +of indestructible existence, and he would as soon expect to see the sun +blotted from heaven as a parent removed from earth! And when his ethical +perceptions awake, he has another experience of a similar character. His +father and mother stand to him for the very moral order itself! To his +mind, it is inconceivable that they should ever err, and the bare +suggestion that those august and venerable beings can really sin, fills +him with horror and incredulity. If he, therefore, sometime learns that +they have committed a trifling indiscretion, he trembles, and if, in +some tragic moment, irresistible proof is brought to bear on him that +they have been guilty of a dark and desperate deed, the whole moral +system seems to undergo a sudden and final collapse! There is no longer +any standing-ground beneath his feet and he could not be driven into a +deeper despair if God himself had yielded to temptation. This discovery +and this despair had fallen to the lot of David, and he had cherished +the impressions, formed in that dark hour, through all these many +months. But now, returning to the scenes of his boyhood and bringing +back his burdens of care and sin, bringing back also his deepened +experience of life and his enlarged ability, to comprehend its +difficulties and sorrows, he suddenly saw the conduct and character of +his mother in a new light. He, too, had met temptation, had fallen, had +gone down into the depths, and in that awful and interpretative +experience, comprehended the victory which his mother had won on the +field of dishonor and defeat! He was now enabled to reconstruct, by the +aid of his enlightened imagination, a true picture of the events which +she had sketched so imperfectly in those few brief words. He realized +what she must have had to struggle against, and could measure the whole +weight of guilt and despair that must have rested on her heart. He knew +only too well how easy was the road into darkness, and how rugged the +one leading up into the light; yet this frail woman had followed it and +scaled those heights! She had been able to put that past into the +background, and keep it where it belonged. She had hidden her sorrows in +her heart; nothing had daunted her; no discouragement had cast her down. +By a wonderful grace she had concealed her sin from some, and made +others fear even to whisper the knowledge they possessed. She had made +that sin a torch to illumine her future. She had used it as a stepping +stone to ascend into purity and holiness. He could not remember in all +those long years of devotion and of love, that she had ever permitted +him to feel a moment's distrust of her perfect purity and goodness; and +this seemed to him a miracle! That purity and goodness must have been +real! So protracted an hypocrisy would have been impossible. Whence, +then, had she derived the power thus to rise superior to her past? She +had shown its terrific spell over her sensibilities by dying with shame +when she at last proclaimed it, and yet for twenty years she had kept it +under her feet like a writhing dragon, while she calmly fought her +fight. It was incredible, sublime! + +As he stood there by her grave, measuring this deep and tragic +experience with his new divining rod of sympathy, there rushed upon him +an overmastering desire to reveal his appreciation to that suffering +heart beyond the skies. A feeling of bitterness at his inability to do +this frenzied him; a new consciousness of the irony of life in +permitting him to make these discoveries when they could do her no good +plunged him suddenly into a struggle with the darker problems of being +which for a little while had ceased to vex him. + +"Do all the appreciations of heroism come too late?" he asked his sad +heart. "Do we acquire wisdom only when we, can no longer be guided by +it? Do we achieve self-mastery and real virtue only to be despised by +our children? Where is the clue to this tangle? Oh! mother, mother, if I +could only have one single hour to ask thee what thou didst learn about +this awful mystery in those lonely years of struggle! If I could only +tell thee of my penitence, of my admiration, my love! But it is too +late--too late." + +With this despairing cry on his lips, he flung himself upon the grave, +buried his face in the green turf and burst into a convulsive passion of +tears, such tears as come once or twice, perhaps, in the lives of most +men, when they are passing through the awful years of adjustment to the +incomprehensible and apparently chaotic experiences of existence. + +Like a thunderstorm, these convulsions clear the atmosphere and give +relief to the strained tension of the soul. At length, when his emotion +had spent itself in long-drawn sighs, David rose in a calm and tender +frame of mind, plucked a bunch of violets from the grave and reluctantly +turned away. + +On foot, and leading his horse, he entered a quiet and secluded path +which led past the rear of the farm. He had not consciously determined +what he should do next; but his heart impelled him irresistibly toward +that little bridge where he had encountered Pepeeta on his return from +the lumber camp. It was at that place and that hour, perhaps, that he +had passed through the deepest experience of his whole life, for it was +there that the full power of the beauty of the woman in whom he had met +his destiny had burst upon him, and it was there that for the first time +he had consciously surrendered himself to those rich emotions which love +enkindles in the soul. + +Perhaps our spiritual enjoyments are capable of an ever-increasing +development and intensity; but those pleasures that belong to the +earthly life and are excited by the things of time and sense, however +often they may recur, by an inviolable law of nature attain their climax +in some one single experience, just as there is in the passage of a star +across the sky a single climactic moment, and in the life of a rose an +instant when it reaches its most transcendent beauty. They all attain +their zenith and then begin to wane; that one brilliant but transitory +instant of perfect bliss can no more be recalled than the passing stroke +of a bell, the vanished glory of a sunset, or the last sigh of a dying +friend; and many of the vainest and most unsatisfying struggles of life +are expended in the effort to reproduce that one evanescent and +forevermore impossible ecstasy. + +Possibly David hoped that he could live that perfect moment over again +by standing on that bridge! It was thither he bent his steps, and as he +approached it there did come back faint echoes, little refluent waves; +his lively imagination reproduced the scene; the dazzling figure really +seemed once more to emerge from the secluded forest path; he almost +heard the sound of her voice! + +He threw the horse's bridle over the limb of a tree, leaned over the +handrail of the bridge and looked down into the water. The stillness of +the world, the slumber-song of the stream, the haunting power of the +past superinduced a mood of abstraction so common in other, happier +days. + +Oblivious to all the objects and events of that outside world, he stood +there dreaming of the past. While he did so, Pepeeta, following her +daily custom, left the farm-house to take an evening walk. She also +sought the little bridge. Perhaps she was summoned to this spot by some +telepathic message from her lover; perhaps it was habit that impelled +her, perhaps it was some fascination in the place itself. She moved +forward with the quiet step peculiar to natures which are sensitive to +the charm of the great solitudes of the world, and came noiselessly out +from the low bushes behind the lonely watcher. As she stepped out into +the road, she caught sight of the solitary figure and her heart, +anticipating her eye in its swift recognition, throbbed so violently +that she placed her hand on her bosom as if to still it. + +"David!" she said in a low whisper. + +She paused to observe him for a moment and, as he did not stir, began to +move quietly towards him as he stood there motionless--a silhouette +against the background of the darkening sky. She drew near enough to +touch him; but so profound was his reverie that he was oblivious of her +presence. It could not have been long that Pepeeta waited, although it +seemed ages before he moved, sighed and breathed her name. + +She touched him on the arm. He turned, and so met her there, face to +face. + +It was an experience too deep for language, and their emotions found +expression in a single simple act. They clasped each other's hands and +stood silently looking into each other's eyes. After many moments of +silence David asked: "Why do you not speak to me, Pepeeta?" + +"My eyes have told you all," she said. + +"But what they say is too good to be believed! You must confirm their +mute utterance with a living word," he cried. + +"I love you, love you, love you," she replied. + +"You love me! I bless you for it, Pepeeta, but there is something else +that I must know." + +"What can it be? Is not everything comprehended in that single word? It +is all-embracing as the air! It enfolds life as the sky enfolds the +world!" + +"Ah! Pepeeta, you loved me when we parted, but you did not forgive me!" + +She dropped her eyes. + +"Have you forgiven me now?" + +"It is not true that I did not forgive you," she replied, looking up at +his face again. "There has never been in my heart for a single moment +any sense of a wrong which I could not pardon. It has been one of the +awful mysteries of this experience that I could not feel that wrong! +When I tried to feel it most, my heart would say to me, 'you are not +sorry that he loved you, Pepeeta! You would rather that all this agony +should have befallen you than that he should not have loved you at all!' +It is this feeling that has bewildered me, David. Explain it to me. Let +me know how I could have such feelings in my heart and yet be good. It +seems as if I ought to hate you; but I cannot. I love you, love you, +love you." + +"But, Pepeeta, if you loved me, why did you leave me? I do not +comprehend. How could you let me stand in the darkness under your window +and then turn away from it into the awful blackness and solitude to +which I fled?" + +"Do not reproach me, I thought it was my duty, David." + +"I do not reproach you. I only want to know your inmost heart." + +"I do not know! There has been all the time something stronger than +myself impelling me. I grew too weak to reason. I felt that the heart +had reasons of its own, too deep for the mind to fathom, and I yielded +to them. I was only a woman after all, David. Love is stronger than +woman! Oh! it was I who wronged you. I ought not to have forsaken you. +Ought I? I do not know, even now. Who can tell me what is right? Who can +lead me out of this frightful labyrinth? If I did wrong in seeking you, +I humbly ask the pardon of God, and if I did wrong in abandoning you, I +ask forgiveness in all lowliness and meekness from the man I wronged." + +"No, Pepeeta, you have never wronged me; I alone have been to blame. The +result could not have been really different, no matter what course you +took. The scourge would have fallen anyway! All that has happened has +been inevitable. Justice had to be vindicated. If it had not come in +one way, it would in another, for there are no short cuts and evasions +in tragedies like this! Every result that is attached to these causes +must be drawn up by them like the links in a chain, and one never knows +when the end has come." + +His solemn manner and earnest words alarmed Pepeeta. + +"Oh, David," she cried, "it cannot, cannot be so awful. Such +consequences cannot hang upon the deeds we commit in the limitations and +ignorance of this earthly life." + +"Forgive me, Pepeeta, I should not talk so. These are the fears of my +darker moments. I have brighter thoughts and hopes. There is a quiet +feeling in my heart about the future that grows with the passing days. +God is good, and he will give us strength to meet whatever comes. We +must live, and while we live we will hope for the best. Life is a gift, +and it is our duty to enjoy it." + +"Oh! it is good to hear you say that! It comforts me. I think it cannot +be possible that we should not be able to escape from this darkness if +we are willing to follow the divine light." + +"I think so, too," he said. + +His words were spoken with such assurance as to awaken a vague surmise +that he had reasons which he had not told. She pressed his hands and +besought him to explain. + +"Oh! tell me," she said eagerly; "is there anything new? Has anything +happened?" + +"Pepeeta," he answered slowly, "we have been strangely and kindly dealt +with. It is not quite so bad as it seemed, for I did not kill him." + +"You did not kill him! What do you mean?" + +"No, it is a strange story! I thought I had killed him. I knew murder +was in my heart. It was no fault of mine that the blow was not fatal. I +left him in the road for dead. But, thank God, he did not die; he did +not die then!" + +"He did, not die then? Have you seen him? Is he dead now? Tell me! Tell +me!" + +Quietly, gently, briefly as he could, he narrated the events of the past +few months, and as he did so she drew in short breaths or long +inspirations as the story shifted from phase to phase, and when at last +he had finished, she clasped her hands and gazed up into the depths of +the sky with eyes that were swimming in tears. + +"Poor doctor, poor old man," Pepeeta sighed at last. "Oh! How we have +wronged him, how we have made him suffer. He was always kind! He was +rough, but he was kind. Oh! why could I not have loved him? But I did +not, I could not. My heart was asleep. It had never once waked from its +slumber until it heard your voice, David. And, afterwards,--well I could +not love him! But why should we have wronged him so? How base it was! +How terrible! I pity him, I blame myself--and yet I cannot wish him +back. Listen to me, David. I am afraid I am glad he is dead. What do you +think of that? Oh! what a mystery the human heart is! How can these +terrible contradictions exist together? I would give my life to undo +that wrong, and yet I should die if it were undone. All this is in the +heart of a woman--so much of love, so much of hate, for I should have +hated him, at last! I cannot understand myself. I cannot understand this +story. What does all this mean for us, David? Perhaps you can see the +light now, as you used to! I think from your face and your voice that +you are your old self again. Oh! if you can see that inner light once +more, consult it. Ask it if there is any reason why we cannot be happy +now? Tell it that your Pepeeta is too weak to endure this separation any +longer. I am only a woman, David! I cannot any longer bear life alone. I +love you too deeply. I cannot live without you." + +Waiting long before he answered, as if to reflect and be sure, David +said quietly but confidently, "Pepeeta, I cannot see any reason why we +should not begin our lives over again, starting at this very place from +which we made that false beginning three long years ago. We cannot go +back, but, in a sense, we can begin again." + +"But can we really begin again?" she asked. "How is it possible? I do +not see! We are not what we were. There is so much of evil in our +hearts. We were pure and innocent three years ago. Is it not necessary +to be pure and innocent? And how can we be with all this fearful past +behind us? We cannot become children again!" + +"I have thought much and deeply about it," David responded. I know not +what subtle change has taken place within me, but I know that it has +been great and real. My heart was hard, but now it is tender. It was +full of despair, and now it is full of hope. I am not as innocent as I +was that night when you heard me speak in the old Quaker meeting-house, +or rather I am not innocent in the same way. My heart was then like a +spring among the mountains; it had a sort of virgin innocence. I had +sinned only in thought, and in the dreamy imaginations of unfolding +youth. It is different now; a whole world of realized, actualized evil +lies buried in the depths of my soul. It is there, but it is there only +as a memory and not as a living force. There must in some way, I cannot +tell how, be a purity of guilt as well as of innocence, and perhaps it +is a purity of a still higher and finer kind. There was a peace of mind +which I had as an innocent boy, which I do not possess now; but I have +another and deeper peace. There was a childish courage; but it was the +courage of one who had never been exposed to danger. There is another +courage in my heart now, and it is the courage of the veteran who has +bared his bosom to the foe! I know not by what strange alchemy these +diverse elements of evil can have become absorbed and incorporated into +this newer and better life, but this I do know, and nothing can make me +doubt it--that while I am not so good, yet I am better; while I am not +so pure, yet I am purer. Yes, Pepeeta, I think we can go back on our +track. We can be born again! We can once more be little children. I +feel myself a little child to-night--I who, a few days ago, was like an +old man, bowed and crushed under a load of wretchedness and misery! God +seems near to me; life seems sweet to me. Let us begin again, Pepeeta. +We have traveled round a circle, and have come back to the old starting +point. Let us begin again." + +"Oh! David," she said, kissing the hands she held; "how like your old +self you are to-night. Your words of hope have filled my soul with joy. +Is it your presence alone that has done it, or is it God's, or is it +both? A change has come over the very world around us. All is the same, +and yet all is different. The stars are brighter. The brook has a +sweeter music. There is something of heaven in this intoxicating cup you +have put to my lips! I seem to be enveloped by a spiritual presence! +Hush! Do you hear voices?" + +The excitement had been too intense for this sensitive woman to endure +with tranquillity. Her heart, her conscience, her imagination had +suffered an almost unendurable strain. She flung herself into the arms +of her lover and trembled upon his breast, and he held her there until +she had regained her composure. + +"Do you really love me yet?" she asked, at length, raising her face and +gazing up into his with an expression in which the simple affection of a +little child was strangely blended with the passionate love of an ardent +and adoring woman. + +"Love you!" he cried; "your face has been the last vision upon which I +gazed when I fell into a restless slumber, and the first which greeted +returning consciousness, when I waked from my troubled dream. My life +has been but a fragment since we parted; a part of my individuality +seemed to have been torn away. I have always felt that neither time nor +space could separate us for--" + +At that instant the horse which had stood patiently beside them on the +bridge, shook his head, rattled his bridle and whinnied. + +"Poor fellow! I had forgotten all about him in my joy!" said David, +starting at the sound, and patting his shoulder. "You have had a hard +run, and are tired and hungry. I must get you to the barn and feed you. +They will miss you at the stable to-night, but I will send you back +to-morrow, or ride you myself, that is if Pepeeta wishes to be rid of +me." + +He said this teasingly, but smiled at her,--a tender and confident +smile. + +"Oh! you shall never leave me again--not for a moment," she cried, +pressing his arm against her heart. + +He paused a moment and looked down as if a new thought had struck him. + +"What is the matter?" she asked. + +"Do you think they will welcome me at home?" he said, with a penitence +and humility that touched her deeply. + +"Welcome you home?" she exclaimed; "you do not know them, David. They +talk of nothing else. They have sent messages to you in every direction. +The door is never locked, and there has never been a night since you +disappeared that a candle has not burned to its socket on the sill of +your window; what do you think of that? You do not know them, David. +They are angels of mercy and goodness. I have been selfish in keeping +you so long to myself. Come, let us hasten." + +Just at that instant a loud halloo was heard--"Pepeeta, Pepeeta, +Pepeeta!" + +"It is Steven--the dear boy! He has missed me. You have a dangerous +rival, David." + +She said this with a merry laugh and cried out, "Steven, Steven, +Steven!" + +"Where are you?" he called. + +"I am here by the bridge!" she cried, in her silvery treble. + +"She is here by the bridge!" The deep bass voice of her lover went +rolling through the woods. + +There was silence for a moment, and then they heard a joyous shout, +"Uncle David! Uncle David! Oh! Mother, Father, it is Uncle David." + +There was a crashing in the bushes, and the great half-grown boy bounded +through them and flung himself into the arms extended to him, with all +the trust, all the love, all the devotion of the happy days of old. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +A SELF-IMPOSED EXPIATION + + "Man-like is it to fall into sin, + Fiend-like is it to dwell therein, + Christ-like is it for sin to grieve, + God-like is it all sin to leave." + --Friedrich von Logau. + + +David's welcome home was quiet, cordial and heartfelt. The Quaker life +is calm; storms seldom appear on its surface, even though they must +sometimes agitate its depths; mind and heart are brought under +remarkable control; sympathy and charity are extended to the erring; +hospitality is a duty and an instinct; domestic love is deep and +powerful. + +When David had frankly told his story, he was permitted to resume his +place in the life of the old homestead as if nothing had happened. He +expressed to his brother and sister his love for Pepeeta, and his +determination to make her his wife in lawful marriage. + +They assented to his plans, and at the earliest possible moment the +minister and elders of the little congregation of Friends were asked to +meet, in accordance with their custom, to "confer with him about a +concern which was on his mind." + +They came, and heard his story and his intention, told with +straightforward simplicity. They, too, touched with sympathy and moved +to confidence, agreed that there was no obstacle to the union. The date +of the wedding was placed at the end of the month, which, by their +ecclesiastical law, must elapse after this avowal, and an evening +meeting was appointed for the ceremony. + +In the meantime David remained quietly at home, and took up his old +labors as nearly as possible where he had laid them down. Such a life as +he had been leading induces a distaste for manual labor, and sometimes +he chafed against it. Again and again he felt his spirit faint within +him when he recalled the scenes of excitement through which he had +passed, and looked forward to years of this unvaried drudgery; but he +never permitted his soul to question his duty! He had decided in the +most solemn reflections of his life that he would conquer himself in the +place where he had been defeated, perform the tasks which he had so +ignominiously abandoned, and then, when he had demonstrated his power to +live a true life himself, devote his strength to helping others. + +The charms of this pastoral existence gradually came to his support in +his heroic resolution. The unbroken quiet of the happy valley which had +irritated him at first, grew to be more and more a balm to his wounded +spirit. The society of the animal world lent its gracious consolation; +the great horses, the ponderous oxen, the doves fluttering and cooing +about the barnyard, the suckling calves, the playful colts, all came to +him as to a friend, and in giving him their confidence and affection +awakened his own. + +Above all Pepeeta was ever near him. It was no wonder that her beauty +threw its spell over David's spirit. It had been enhanced by sorrow, for +the human countenance, like the landscape, requires shadow as well as +sunshine to perfect its charms. But the burst of sunshine which had come +with David's return had brought it a final consummation which +transfigured even the Quaker dress she had adopted. Her bonnet would +never stay over her face but fell back on her shoulders, her animated +countenance emerging from this envelope like the bud of a rose from its +sheath. She was as a butterfly at that critical instant when it is ready +to leave its chrysalis and take wing. She was a soul enmeshed in an +ethereal body, rather than a body which ensheathed a soul. + +Quietly and sedately the lovers met each other at the table, or at the +spring, or at the milking. + +And when the labors of the day had ended, they sat beneath the spreading +hackberry trees, or wandered through the garden, or down the winding +lane to the meadow, and reviewed the past with sadness or looked forward +to the future with a chastened joy. Their spirits were subdued and +softened, their love took on a holy rather than a passionate cast, they +felt themselves beneath the shadow of an awful crime, and again and +again when they grew joyous and almost gay they were checked by the +irrepressible apprehension that out from under the silently revolving +wheels of judgment some other punishment would roll. + +Tenderly as they loved each other, and sweet as was that love, they +could not always be happy with such a past behind them! In proportion to +the soul's real grandeur it must suffer over its own imperfections. This +suffering is remorse. In proud and gloomy hearts which tell their +secrets only to their own pillows, its tears are poison and its rebukes +the thrust of daggers. But in those which, like theirs, are gentle and +tender by nature, remorseful tears are drops of penitential dew. David +and Pepeeta suffered, but their suffering was curative, for pure love is +like a fountain; by its incessant gushing from the heart it clarifies +the most turbid streams of thought or emotion. Each week witnessed a +perceptible advance in peace, in rest, in quiet happiness, and at last +the night of their marriage arrived, and they went together to the +meeting house. + +The people gathered as they did at that other service when David made +the address to which Pepeeta had listened with such astonishment and +rapture. The entire community of Friends was there, for even Quakers +cannot entirely repress their curiosity. There was evidence of deep +feeling and even of suppressed excitement. The men in their +broad-brimmed hats, the women in their poke bonnets, moved with an +almost unseemly rapidity through the evening shadows. The pairs and +groups conversed in rapid, eager whispers. They did not linger outside +the door, but entered hastily and took their places as if some great +event were about to happen. + +There was a preliminary service of worship, and according to custom, +opportunity was given for prayer or exhortation. But all minds were too +intent upon what was to follow to enable them to take part with spirit. +The silences were frequent and tedious. The young people moved +restlessly on their seats, and their elders rebuked them with silent +glances of disapproval. All were in haste, but nothing can really upset +the gravity of these calm and tranquil people, and it was not until +after a suitable time had elapsed that the leader of the meeting arose +and said: "The time has arrived when David and Pepeeta are at liberty to +proceed with their marriage, unless there be some one who can show just +cause why this rite should not be solemnized." + +A flutter ran through the assembly, and a moment of waiting ensued; then +David rose, while every eye was fixed on him. + +"My friends," he said, in a voice whose gentleness and sweetness stirred +their hearts; "you have refrained from inquiring into the story of my +life during the three years of my absence. I would be glad if I could +withhold it from your knowledge; but I feel that I must make a +confession of my sins." + +In the death-like stillness he began. The narrative was in itself +dramatic, but the deep feeling of him who told it, his natural oratory +and the hearers' intent interest, lent to it a fascination that at +times became almost unendurable. Sighs were often heard, tears were +furtively wiped away, criticism was disarmed, and the tenderness of this +illicit but passionate and determined love, blinded even those calm and +righteous listeners to its darker and more desperate phases. By an +almost infallible instinct we discover true love amid fictitious, +unworthy and evil elements; and when seen there is something so +sublimely beautiful that we prostrate ourselves before it and believe +against evidence, even, that sooner or later it will ennoble and +consecrate those who feel it. + +When David had completed the narrative he continued as follows: "It is +now necessary that I should convince you, if I can, that with my whole +soul I have repented of this evil that I have done, and that I have +sought, and I hope obtained, pardon for what is irreparable, and am +determined to undo what I can. It is with awe and gratitude, my friends, +that I acknowledge the aid of heaven. From the logical and well-deserved +consequences of this sin I did not escape alone! I was snatched from it +like a brand from the burning! No mortal-mind could have planned or +executed my salvation. It is marked by evidences of Divine power and +wisdom. Through a series of experiences almost too strange to be +credible, I have been drawn back here to the scenes of my childhood, to +encounter the one I have wronged and to find myself, so far as I know, +able not only to make reparation, but to enjoy the bliss of a love of +which I am unworthy. If I were wise enough, I would set before you the +spiritual meaning of this terrible experience, but I am not. Three years +ago I stood here in boyish confidence and boldly expounded the mysteries +of our human life. It is only when we know nothing of life that we feel +able to interpret it! Now that I have seen it, tasted it, drunk the cup +almost to the dregs--I am speechless. Three facts, however, stand out +before my vision--sin, punishment, pardon! I have sinned; I have +suffered; I have been forgiven. I have been fully pardoned, but I feel +that I have not been fully punished! There are issues of such an +experience as this that cannot be brought to light in a day, a year, +perhaps not in a lifetime. Whatever they are, I must await them and meet +them; but as it is permitted a man to know his own mind, when he is +determined so to do, I know that I have turned upon this sin with +loathing! I know that I am ready to take up my burden where I left it +years ago. I know that I would do anything to atone for the evil which I +have wrought to others. I mean, if it seem good to you, here and now to +claim as my bride her into whose life I have brought a world of sorrow. +I mean, if God permits me, to live quietly and patiently among you until +I have so recruited my spiritual strength that I can go forth into the +great world of sorrow and of sin which I have seen, and extend to others +a hand of helpfulness such as was stretched out to me at the moment of +my need; but if there is any one here to whom God has given a message +for me, whether it be to approve or condemn my course, I trust that I +shall have grace to receive it meekly." + +He took his seat, and it seemed for a few moments that every person in +the room had yielded heart and judgment to this noble and modest appeal. +But there was among them one whose stern and unyielding sense of justice +had not been appeased. He was a man who had often suffered for +righteousness sake and who attached more value to the testimony of a +clear conscience than to any earthly dignity. He slowly and solemnly +rose. His form was like that of a prophet of ancient days. His deep-set +eyes glowed like two bright stars under the cloudy edge of his +broad-brimmed hat. His face was emaciated with a self-denial that +bordered upon asceticism, and wan with ceaseless contemplations of the +problems of life, death and immortality. Not a trace of tender emotion +was evident on features, which might have been carved in marble. It was +impossible to conceive that he had ever been young, and there seemed a +bitter irony in the effort of such a man to judge the cause of a love +like that which pleaded for satisfaction in the hearts of David and +Pepeeta, and to pronounce upon the destinies of those whose souls were +still throbbing with passion. + +But such was the purpose of the man. His first words sounded on the +stillness like an alarm bell and shook the souls of listeners with a +sort of terror. + +"We did not seek to try this cause," he said. "It was brought before us +by the wish of this sinful man himself. But if we must judge, let us +judge like God! We read of Him--that he 'lays righteousness to the line +and judgment to the plummet.' Let us do the same. That a great wrong +hath been done is evident to every mind. It is not meet that such wrongs +should go unpunished! These two transgressors have suffered; but who +believes that such wrongs may justly be so soon followed by felicity? It +would be an encouragement to evil-doers and a premium upon vice! Who +would refrain from violently rending the marriage bonds or sundering any +sacred tie, if in a few short months the fruit of the guilty deed might +be eaten in peace by the culprit? What assurance may we have that the +lesson which has been but superficially graven on this guilty heart may +not be obliterated in the enjoyment of triumph? Why should these youths +make such unseemly haste? If they are indeed in earnest to seek the +truth and lay to heart the meaning of this experience into which their +sinful hearts have led them, let them of their own accord and out of +their humble and contrite hearts devote a year to meditation and prayer. +Let them show to others they have learned that to live righteously and +soberly, and not to grasp ill-gotten gains or enjoy unhallowed +pleasures, is the chief end of human life! The hour is ripe for such a +demonstration. We have seen other evidences among us of an unholy +hungering after the unlawful pleasures of life. It is time that a halt +were called. If this community is dedicated to righteousness, then let +us exalt the standard. It is at critical moments like this that history +is made and character formed. If we weaken now, if we permit our hearts +to overpower our consciences, God will smite us with His wrath, vice +will rush upon us like a flood, and we shall be given over to the lust +of the flesh and the pride of life! 'To the law and to the testimony, my +brethren.'" + +With his long arm extended and his deep-set eyes glowing, he repeated +from memory the solemn words: + +"'Behold ye trust in lying words that cannot profit. Will ye steal, +murder and commit adultery and swear falsely, and burn incense to Baal, +and walk after other gods whom ye know not, and come and stand before me +in this house which is called by my name and say, "We are delivered to +do all these abominations?" Is this house which is called by my name, +become a den of robbers in your eyes? Behold, even I have said it, saith +the Lord. But go ye now into my place which was Shiloh, where I set my +name at the first, and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my +people Israel! And now because ye have done all these works, saith the +Lord--and I spake unto you (rising up early and speaking), but ye heard +not, and I called you but ye answered not--therefore will I do unto +this house which is called by my name (wherein ye trust) and unto the +place which I gave unto you and your fathers, as I have done to Shiloh! +And I will cast you out of my sight--even the whole people of Ephraim! +Therefore pray not thou for this people, neither lift up cry nor prayers +for them, neither make intercession to me--for I will not hear thee!' + + * * * * * + +"This is my message! This is the advice ye have invited! Wait a year! +Watch and pray! Fit yourselves for the enjoyment of your love by +repentance." + +The impression made by these solemn words was tremendous. It was as if +eternity had suddenly dawned in that dim-lit room, and the leaves of the +book of doom had been opened. + +There had been stillness before, but now there was the silence of the +grave, and at this dramatic moment one of the tallow candles whose +feeble light had served but to render the darkness visible, spluttered, +went out, and intensified the silence with a meaningless and +exasperating sound. No one knew how to break the spell which these +intense and terrible words had cast over them. Their limbs and faculties +were both benumbed. + +Upon Pepeeta this message had fallen like a thunderbolt. Her Oriental +imagination, her awakened conscience, her throbbing heart had all been +thrilled. She did not move; her eyes were still fixed on the prophet; +her face was white; her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. + +David leaned forward in his seat and listened like a culprit hearing +sentence from a judge. Those who were closely observing his noble +countenance saw it suddenly light up with the glow of a spiritual +ecstasy, and rightly conjectured that he was burning with the zeal of +martyrdom. He saw his way, for the first time, to a worthy expiation of +his sin. The prophet had interpreted the purpose of God and pointed out +the path of duty. He started to his feet, but at the same instant over +in the corner of the room rose the figure of a man whose full form, +benignant countenance and benevolent manner afforded the most marked +contrast to that of the Jeremiah who had electrified them by his appeal +to righteousness. + +He moved toward one of the half dozen candles which were still burning, +and stood within the narrow circle of its feeble rays. Drawing from the +inner pocket of his coat a well-worn volume he opened it, held it up to +the light and began to read. The tones of his voice were clear and +mellifluous, his articulation slow and distinct, and his soul seemed +permeated with the wondrous depth and beauty of what is perhaps the most +exquisite passage in the literature of the world. It was the story of +the prodigal son. + +As he proceeded, and that brief but perfect drama unfolded itself before +the imagination of his hearers, it was as if they had never heard it +before, or at least as if its profound import had never been revealed +to their dull minds. Intimations and suggestions which had never been +disclosed to them came out like lines written in sensitive ink, under +the influence of light and heat. The living medium through which they +were uttered seemed slowly to melt away, and as in a dissolving view, +the sublime teacher, the humble Galilean stood before them, and they +heard his voice! The last words died away; the reader took his seat +without uttering a single comment. Not a person moved. + +Each heart in that silent room was thrilled with emotions which were +common to all. But there was one which had a burden all its own. + +The demure Quaker maiden who had looked love out of her dove-like eyes +three years ago when Pepeeta appeared for the first time among these +quiet folk, was in her old familiar seat. Her life had never been the +same since that hour, for the man whom she loved with all the deep +intensity of which a heart so young, so pure, so true was capable, had +been suddenly stolen from her by a stranger. Her thwarted love had never +found expression, and she had borne her pain and loss as became the +child of a religion of silence, patience and fortitude. But the wound +had never healed, and now she was compelled to be a sad and hopeless +spectator of another scene which sealed her fate and made her future +hopeless. Her bonnet hid the sad face from view, as her heart hid its +secret. + +The turn which had been given to the emotions of these quiet people by +the reading of the parable had been so sudden and so powerful that +perhaps not a single person in the room doubted that David and Pepeeta +would at once rise and enter into that holy contract for which the way +seemed to have been so easily opened by the tender story of the father's +love for the prodigal son. + +But it was the unexpected which happened. The soul of David Corson had +passed through one of those genuine and permanent revolutions which +sometimes take place in the nature of man. He had completed the cycle of +revolt and anarchy to which he had been condemned by his inheritance +from a wild and profligate father. Whether that fever had run its +natural course or whether as David himself believed, he had been rescued +by an act of divine intervention, it is certain that the change was as +actual as that which takes place when a grub becomes a butterfly. It was +equally certain that from this time onward it was the mental and +spiritual characteristics of his mother which manifested themselves in +his spiritual evolution. + +He became his true self--a saint, an ascetic, a mystic, a potential +martyr. + +When he rose to his feet a moment after the reader had finished, his +face shining with an inward light and glowing with a sublime purpose, +all believed that he was about to summon Pepeeta to their marriage. + +What was the astonishment, then, when in rapt words he began: + +"God has spoken to us, my friends. We have heard his voice. It is too +soon for me to enjoy this bliss! Yes, I will wait! I will dedicate this +year to meditation and prayer. Pepeeta, wilt thou join me in this +resolution? If thou wilt, let the betrothal of this night be one of soul +to soul and both our souls to God! Give me thine hand." + +Still under the spell of strange spiritual emotions to which her +sensitive spirit vibrated like the strings of an AEolian harp, Pepeeta +rose, and placing her hands in those of her lover, looked up into his +face with a touching confidence, an almost adoring love. It was more +like the bridal of two pure spirits than the betrothal of a man and +woman! + +Not one of those who saw it has ever forgotten that strange scene; it is +a tradition in that community until this day. They felt, and well they +might, those strange people who had dedicated themselves and their +children to the divine life, that in this scene their little community +had attained the zenith of its spiritual history. + +No wonder that from an English statesman this eulogy was once wrung: "By +God, sir, we cannot afford to persecute the Quakers! Their religion may +be wrong, but the people who cling to an idea are the very people we +want. If we must persecute--let us persecute the complacent!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +FASTING IN THE WILDERNESS + + "So great is the good I look for, that every hardship delights me." + + --St. Francis. + + +The period of our country's history in which these characters were +formed was one of tremendous moral earnestness. In that struggle in +which man pitted himself against primeval forest and aboriginal +inhabitant, the strongest types of manhood and womanhood were evolved, +and those who conceived the idea of living a righteous life set +themselves to its realization with the same energy with which they +addressed themselves to the conquest of nature itself. To multitudes of +them, this present world took a place that in the fullest sense of the +word was secondary to that other world in which they lived by +anticipation. + +David Corson was only one of many who, to a degree which in these less +earnest or at least more materialistic times appears incredible, had +determined to trample the world under their feet. He awoke next morning +with an unabated purpose and at an early hour set resolutely about its +execution. He bade a brave farewell to Pepeeta, exhorted her to seek +with him that preparation of heart which alone could fit them for the +future, and then with a bag of provisions over his shoulder and an axe +in his hand started forth to carry out a plan which he had formed in the +night. + +At the head of the little valley where Pepeeta had built her gypsy fire, +and experienced her great disillusionment, was a piece of timber land +belonging to his mother's estate. He determined to make a clearing there +and establish a home for himself and Pepeeta. + +He wisely calculated that the accomplishment of this arduous task would +occupy his mind and strength through the year of expiation which he had +condemned himself to pass. + +It is one of the most impressive spectacles of human life to see a man +enter a primeval forest and set himself to subdue nature with no +implement but an axe! Those of us who require so many luxuries and who +know how to maintain existence only by the use of so many curious and +powerful pieces of mechanism would think ourselves helpless indeed in +the center of a wilderness with nothing but an axe or a rifle! + +No such apprehensions troubled the heart of the young woodsman, for from +his earliest childhood he had handled that primitive implement and knew +its exhaustless possibilities. He was young and strong, for reckless as +his recent life had been, the real sources of his physical vitality had +not been depleted. + +When David had passed out of sight of the house and entered the +precincts of the quiet forest, there surged up from his heart those +mighty impulses and irresistible tides of energy which are the sublime +inheritance of youth. He counted off the months and they seemed to him +like days. Already he heard the monarchs of the forest fall beneath his +blows, already he saw the walls of his log cabin rising in an opening of +the vast wilderness, already he beheld Pepeeta standing in the open +door. The vast panorama of this virgin world began to unroll itself to +his delighted vision. The splendid spectacle of a morning as new and +wonderful as if there had never been another, drew his thoughts away +from himself and his cares. The dew was sparkling on the grass; the +meadow larks were singing from every quarter of the fields through which +he was passing; the great limbs of the trees were tossed by the fresh +breezes of June. Everywhere were color, music, fragrance, motion. The +burden rolled from his heart; remorse and guilt faded like dreams; the +sad past lost its hold; the present and the future were radiant! To even +the worst of men, in such surroundings, there come moments of exemption +from the ennui and shame of life, and to this deep soul which had +issued, purified, from the fires through which it had passed, they +lengthened into glorious hours, hours such as kindled on the lips of the +poet those exultant and exquisite words: + + "The year's at the spring + And day's at the morn; + Morning's at seven; + The hillside's dew-pearled; + + "The lark's on the wing; + The snail's on the thorn; + God's in his heaven-- + All's right with the world!" + +He climbed a steep hillside, descended into a secluded and beautiful +valley, pressed his way through dense underbrush, and while the day was +still young stood on the spot where he had determined to lay the +foundation of his cabin. + +Two ranges of hills came together and enclosed it as if in giant arms. +Two pure crystal springs issued from clefts in the bases of these hills, +and after flowing towards each other for perhaps a quarter of a mile, +mingled their waters in a brawling brook. It was at the point of their +junction that David had determined to erect that primitive structure +which has afforded a home to so many families in our American +wildernesses. He threw his bundle down and gazed with admiration on the +scene. + +Here was the virgin and unprofaned loveliness of Nature. He felt her +charm and prostrated himself before her shrine. But he rendered to that +invisible spirit of which these forms were only an imperfect +manifestation, a worship deeper still, and by an instinct of pure +adoration lifted his face toward the sky. + +Having refreshed his soul by this communion, he drank a deep draught of +the sparkling water at the point where the rivulets met. Then he threw +off his coat, took his axe in hand and selected a tree on which to begin +his attack. + +It was an enormous oak which, with roots struck deep into the soil and +branches lifted high and spread wide in the air, had maintained itself +successfully against innumerable foes for perhaps a thousand years. He +reflected long before he struck, for to him as to all lovers of nature +there is a certain inviolable sacredness about a tree. + +"Should you see me at the point of death," said Rousseau, "carry me +under the shade of an oak and I am persuaded I shall recover." + +David was a lover of trees. From the summits of the hills he had often +gazed down upon the forests and observed how "all the tree tops lay +asleep like green waves on the sea." He had harvested the fruits of the +apple and peach, clubbed the branches of the walnut, butternut and +beach, and boiled the sap of the maple. He had seen the trees offer +their hospitable shelter to the birds and the squirrels, had basked +beneath their umbrageous shadows and had listened to their whispers in +the summer, and to their wild music "when winter, that grand old harper, +smote his thunder-harp of pines." + +It cost him pain to lay violent hands on a thing so sacred; nevertheless +he swung his axe in the air and a loud reverberating blow broke the +immense solitude. There are many kinds of music; but there is none +fuller of life and power and primal energy than the ring of the +woodsman's axe as blow after blow, through hour after hour, falls +rhythmically upon the wound which he cuts in the great hole of a forest +monarch. + +The gash deepened and widened, the chips flew in showers and the +woodchopper's craft, long unpracticed, came back to him with every +stroke. The satisfying consciousness of skill and power filled him with +a sort of ecstasy. Just as the sun reached the zenith and looked down to +see what devastation was being wrought in this solitude, the giant +trembled; the blade had struck a vital place; he reeled, leaned forward, +lurched, plunged headlong, and with a roar that resounded through the +wide reaches of the forest, fell prone upon the ground. + +The woodsman wiped the perspiration from his brow and smiled. The +appetite of the pioneer had been whetted with his work. He kindled a +fire, boiled a pot of coffee, fried a half dozen slices of bacon, +remembered his sickly appetite in the luxurious restaurants of great +cities, and laughed aloud for joy--wild, unbounded joy--the joy of +primitive manhood, of health, of strength, of hope. And then he +stretched himself on the ground and looked up into the blue sky through +the opening he had made in the green canopy above him and through which +the sun was gazing with bold, free glances on the face of the modest +valley and whispering amorously of its love. + +Those glances fell soft and warm on his own upturned countenance, and +the rays of life-giving power penetrated the inmost core of his being, +finding their way by some mysterious alchemy through the medium of +matter into the very citadel of the spirit itself. They imparted a new +life. He basked in them until he fell asleep, and when he awakened he +felt anew the joy of mere physical existence; he rose, shook himself +like a giant, and resumed his work. + +He now began to prepare for himself a temporary booth which should +shelter him until he had erected his cabin; and the rest of the day was +consumed in this enterprise. At its close this simple task was done, so +easy is it to provide a shelter for him who seeks protection and not +luxury! Having once more satisfied his hunger, he built a fire in front +of his rude booth, and lay down in its genial rays, his head upon a +pillow of moss. The stillness of the cool, quiet evening was broken only +by the crackling of the flames, the quiet murmurs of the two little +rills which whispered to each other startled interrogations as to the +meaning of this rude invasion, the hoot of owls in the tall tree tops, +and the stealthy tread of some of the little creatures of the forest who +prowled around, while seeking their prey, to discover, if possible, the +meaning of this great light, and the strange noises with which their +forest world had resounded. + +There came to the recumbent woodsman a deep and quiet peace. He felt a +new sense of having been in some way taken back into the fraternity of +the unfallen creatures of the universe, and into the all-embracing arms +of the great Father. He fell asleep with pure thoughts hovering over the +surface of his mind, like a flock of swallows above a crystal lake. And +Nature did take him back into that all-enfolding heart where there is +room and a welcome for all who do not alienate themselves. Her +latchstrings are always out, and forests, fields, mountains, oceans, +deserts even, have a silent, genial welcome for all who enter their open +doors with reverence, sympathy and yearning. A man asleep alone in a +vast wilderness! How easy it would be for Nature to forget him and +permit him to sleep on forever! What gives him his importance there amid +those giant trees? Why should sun, moon, stars, gravity, heat, cold, +care for him? How can the hand that guides the constellations--those +vast navies of the infinite sea--pause to touch the eyelids of this atom +when the time comes for him to rise? + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +A FOREST IDYL + + "Stranger, if thou hast learned a truth which needs + No school of long experience, that the world + Is full of guilt and misery, and hast seen + Enough of all its sorrows, crimes and cares + To tire thee of it, enter this wild wood + And view the haunts of Nature. The calm shade + Shall bring a kindred calm, and the sweet breeze + That makes the green leaves dance, shall waft a balm + To thy sick heart." --Bryant. + + +When the sleeper woke, refreshed and rested, in the morning, it was to +take up the routine of duties which were to be only slightly varied for +many months to come. + +One after another the great trees succumbed to the blows of his axe and +from their prostrate forms he carefully selected those which were best +adapted to the structure of his cabin, while over the others he piled +the limbs and brush and left them to dry for the conflagration which at +the end of the hot summer should remove them from the clearing. + +When the rainy days came he spent his time in the shelter of his little +arbor cutting the "shakes," or shingles, which were to furnish the roof +of Pepeeta's home. + +The days and weeks fled by and the opening in the forest grew apace. He +measured it by night with a celestial arithmetic, using the stars for +his triangulations, and as one after another of them became visible +where before they had been obscured by the foliage of the trees, he +smiled, and felt as if he were cutting his farm out of heaven instead of +earth. It was really cut out of both! + +His Sundays were spent at the old homestead with his loved ones, and +once every week Pepeeta came with Steven to bring him luxuries which her +own hands had prepared, and to pass the afternoon with him at his work +in the "clearing." + +Those were memorable hours, possessing that three-fold +existence with which every hour can be endowed by the soul of +man--anticipation--realization--recollection. In this way a single +moment sometimes becomes almost synchronous with eternity. + +It would have been impossible to tell which of the three was happiest, +but Pepeeta was always the center of interest, attention and devotion. +Her whole nature seemed to be aroused and called into play; all her +countless charms were incessantly evoked; her inimitable laughter +resounded through the woods and challenged the emulous birds to +unsuccessful competition. Seriousness alternated with gaiety, coquetry +with gravity. Some of the time she spent in gathering flowers to adorn +her lover's booth, and some in carrying to the rubbish pile such limbs +and branches as her strength would permit her to handle. + +Nothing could have been more charming than the immense efforts that she +put forth with such grace, to lift with all her might some branch that +her lover had tossed aside with a single hand! The attitudes into which +these efforts threw her body were as graceful as those into which the +water threw the cresses by its ceaseless flow, or the wind bent the tree +tops by its fitful gusts. + +Steven was frantic with delight at the free, open life of the woods. He +chased the squirrels and rabbits, he climbed the trees to gaze into the +nests of the birds, and caught the butterflies in his hat. + +David entered into all their pleasures, but with a chastened and +restrained delight, for he could never forget that he was an exile and a +penitent. + +There were two days in the season when the regular routine of the +woodsman's work was interrupted by functions which possess a romantic +charm. One was when the Friends and neighbors from a wide region +assembled to help him "raise" the walls of his cabin. + +From all sides they appeared, in their picturesque costumes of homespun +or fur. Suddenly, through the ever-open gates of the forest, teams of +horses crashed, drawing after them clanking log chains, and driven by +men who carried saws and "cant hooks" on their broad shoulders. Loud +halloos of greeting, cheerful words of encouragement, an eager and +agreeable bustle of business, filled the clearing. + +Log by log the walls rose, as the horses rolled them into place with the +aid of the great chains which the pioneers wrapped around them. It was +only a rude log cabin they built--with a great, wide opening through the +middle, a room on either side, and a picturesque chimney at either end; +but it was not to be despised even for grace, and when warmth and +comfort and adaptability to needs and opportunities are considered, +there have been few buildings erected by the genius of man more justly +entitled to admiration. + +When this single day's work was ended there remained nothing for David +to do but chink and daub the walls with mud, cover the rude rafters of +the roof with his shakes, build the chimneys out of short sticks, +cob-house fashion, and cement them on the inside with clay to protect +them from the flames. + +The other day was the one on which, at the close of the long and genial +summer, when the mass of timber and brushwood had been thoroughly +seasoned by the hot suns, he set his torches to the carefully +constructed piles. + +Steven and Pepeeta were to share with him in the excitement of this +conflagration, and David had postponed it until dusk, in order that they +might enjoy its entire sublimity. He had taken the precaution to plow +many furrows around the cabin and also around the edge of the clearing, +so the flames could neither destroy his house nor devastate the forest. + +Such precautions were necessary, for nothing can exceed the ferocity of +fire in the debris which the woodsmen scatter about them. When the dusk +had settled down on this woodland world and long shadows had crept +across the clearing, wrapping themselves round the trees at its edge +and scattering themselves among the thick branches till they were almost +hid from view, David lighted a pine torch and gave it into the hands of +the eager boy, who seized it and like a young Prometheus started forth. +A single touch to the dry tinder was enough. With a dull explosion, the +mass burst into flame. Shouting in his exultation, the little +torch-bearer rushed on, igniting pile after pile, and leaving behind him +almost at every step a mighty conflagration. At each new instant, as the +night advanced, a new outburst of light illumined the darkness, until +ten, twenty, fifty great heaps were roaring and seething with flames! +Great jets spouted up into the midnight heavens as if about to kiss the +very stars, and suddenly expired in the illimitable space above them. +Immense sparks, shot out from these bonfires as from the craters of +volcanoes, went sailing into the void around them and fell hissing into +the water of the brooks or silently into the new-plowed furrows. + +The clouds above the heads of the subdued and almost terrified +beholders, for no one is ever altogether prepared for the absolute +awfulness of such a spectacle, were glowing with the fierce light which +the fires threw upon them. Weird illuminations played fantastic tricks +in the foliage from which the startled shadows had vanished. The roar of +the ever-increasing fires became louder and louder, until in very terror +Pepeeta crept into David's arms for protection, while the child who had +fearlessly produced this scene of awful grandeur and destruction shouted +with triumph at his play. + +"Thee's a reckless little fire-eater!" said David, watching his figure +as it appeared and disappeared. "How youth trifles with forces whose +powers it can neither measure nor control! It was well that I drew a +furrow around our cabin or it would have been burned." + +His gaze was fixed on the little cabin which seemed to dance and +oscillate in the palpitating light; and touched by the analogies and +symbols which his penetrating eye discovered in the simple scenes of +daily life, he continued to soliloquize, saying, "I should have drawn +furrows around my life, before I played with fire!" + +"Nay, David," replied Pepeeta, "we should never have played with fire at +all." + +"How wise we are--too late!" + +"Shall we walk any more cautiously when the next untried pathway opens?" +he added, somewhat sadly, as he recalled the errors of the past. + +"We ought to, if experience has any value," said Pepeeta. + +"But has it? Or does it only interpret the past, and not point out the +future?" + +"Something of both, I think." + +"Well we must trust it." + +"But not it alone. There is something, better and safer." + +"What is that, my love?" + +"The path-finding instinct of the soul itself." + +"Do you believe there is such an instinct?" + +"As much as I believe the carrier pigeon has it. It is the inner light +of which you told me. You see, I remember my lesson like an obedient +child." + +"Why, then, are we so often misled?" he asked, tempting her. + +"Because we do not wholly trust it!" she said. + +"But how can we distinguish the true light from the false, the instinct +from imagination or desire? If the soul has a hundred compasses pointing +in different ways, what compass shall lead the bewildered mariner to +know the true compass?" + +"He who will know, can know." + +"Are you speaking from your heart, Pepeeta?" + +"From its depths." + +"And have you no doubts that what you say is true?" + +"None, for I learned it from a teacher whom I trust, and have justified +it by my own experience." + +"And now the teacher must sit at the feet of the pupil! Oh! beautiful +instructress, keep your faith firm for my sake! I have dark hours +through which I have to pass and often lose my way. The restoration of +my spiritual vision is but slow. How often am I bewildered and lost! My +thoughts brood and brood within me!" + +"Put them away," she said, cheerily. "We live by faith and not by sight. +We need not be concerned with the distant future. Let us live in this +dear, divine moment. I am here. You are here! We are together; our +hands touch; our eyes meet; our hearts are one; we love! Let us only be +true to our best selves, and to the light that shines within! Oh! I have +learned so much in these few months, among these people of peace, David! +They know the way of life! We need go no farther to seek it. It lies +before us. Let us follow it!" + +"Angel of goodness," he exclaimed, clasping her hand, "it must be that +supreme Love reigns over all the folly and madness of life, or to such a +one as I, a gift so good and beautiful would never have been given!" + +She pressed his hand for response, for her lips quivered and her heart +was too full for words. + +And now, through the ghastly light which magnified his size portentously +and painted him with grotesque and terrible colors, the child +reappeared, begrimed with smoke and wild with the transports of a power +so vast and an accomplishment so wonderful. + +The three figures stood in the bright illumination, fascinated by the +spectacle. The flames, as if satisfied with destruction, had died down, +and fifty great beds of glowing embers lay spread out before them, like +a sort of terrestrial constellation. + +The wind, which had been awakened and excited to madness as it rushed in +from the great halls of the forest to fan the fires, now that it was no +longer needed, ceased to blow and sank into silence and repose. Little +birds, returning to their roosts, complained mournfully that their +dreams had been disturbed, and a great owl from the top of a lofty elm +hooted his rage. + +It was Saturday night. The labors of the week were over. The time had +come for them to return to the farm house. They turned away reluctantly, +leaving nature to finish the work they had begun. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +THE SUPREME TEST + + "Not in the clamor of the crowded street, + Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, + But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat." + --Longfellow. + + +The emotions of the woodsman's heart had been in the main cheerful and +full of hope during the springtime and the summer; but when the autumn +came, with its wailing winds, its dying vegetation, and falling leaves, +new moods were superinduced in his sensitive soul. + +It is impossible even for the good and innocent to behold this universal +dissolution and decay without remembering that they themselves must pass +through some such temporary experience. But upon those who carry guilty +secrets in their hearts these impressions descend with crushing weight. +David felt them to the full when at last the winter set in; when the +days were shortened and he was compelled to forego his toil at an early +hour and retire to his cabin! There he was confronted by all the +problems and temptations of a soul battling with the animal nature and +striving to emancipate the spirit from its thraldom. + +At the close of one cold, blustering day, when his evening meal had been +eaten in solitude, he sat down before the great fire which roared in the +chimney. He read awhile, but grew tired of his book and threw it down. +The melancholy which he had suppressed so long rose at last, and there +burst on him the apparent uselessness of the task he had gratuitously +assigned himself. Why had he ever done it? Why should he be sitting +there alone in his cabin when by his side there might be that radiant +woman whose presence would dispel instantly and forever the loneliness +which ceaselessly gnawed at his heart? What, after all, was to be gained +by this self-sacrifice? Life is very short, and there are few pleasures +to be had, at best. Why should he not seize them as fast as they came +within his reach? Had he not suffered enough already? Who had ever +suffered more? It was only an unnecessary cruelty that had even +suggested such agony as he was now experiencing. He was being cheated +out of legitimate pleasures, and that by the advice of an old ascetic +whose own capacity for enjoyment had been dried up, and who was envious +of the happiness of others! As these thoughts rushed through his soul, +he could not but perceive that he had been forced once more to enter the +arena and to fight over the old battle which he had lost in the +lumberman's cabin three years before! And he found to his dismay how +much harder it was to fight these foes of virtue when they come to us +not as vague imaginations of experiences which we have never tried, but +as vivid memories of real events. Then he had only dreamed of the sweet +fruits of the knowledge of good and evil: but now the taste was in his +mouth, to whet his appetite and increase his hunger. The slumbering +selfhood of his soul woke and clamored for its rights. + +It was Chateaubriand who affirmed that the human heart is like one of +those southern pools which are quiet and beautiful on the surface, but +in the bottom of which there lies an alligator! However calm the surface +of the exile's soul appeared, there was a monster in its depth, and now +it rose upon him. In his struggles with it he paced the floor, sank +despairingly into his chair, and fell on his knees by turns. Animal +desires and brute instincts grappled with intellectual convictions and +spiritual aspirations; flesh and blood with mind and spirit; skepticism +with trust; despair with hope. + +The old forest had been the theater of many combats. In earth, air and +water, birds, animals and fishes had struggled with each other for +supremacy and existence. Beasts had fought with Indians and Indians with +white men; but no battle had been more significant or tragic than the +one which was taking place in the quiet cabin. There was no noise and no +bloodshed, but it was a struggle to the death. It was no new strife, but +one which has repeated itself in human hearts since they began to beat. +It cannot be avoided by plunging into the crowds of great cities, nor by +fleeing to the solitudes of forests, for we carry our battleground with +us. The inveterate foes encamp upon the fields, and when they are not +fighting they are recuperating their strength for struggles still to +come. + +But although neither combatant in this warfare is ever wholly +annihilated, there is in every life a Waterloo. There comes a struggle +in which, if we are not victorious, we at least remain permanent master +of the field. This was the night of David's Waterloo. A true history of +that final conflict in the soul of this hermit would not have disgraced +the confessions of Saint Augustine! + +He wrestled to keep his thoughts pure and his faith firm, until the +sweat stood in beads on his forehead. He felt that to yield so much as +the fraction of an inch of ground in his battle against doubt and sin +this night was to be lost! And still the conflict went against him. + +It turned upon another of those trivial incidents of which there had +been a series in his life. His attention was arrested by a sound in the +woods which summoned his consciousness from the inner world of thought +and feeling to the great external world of action and endeavor. His +huntsman's ear detected its significance at once, and springing to the +corner of the room he seized his rifle, threw open the cabin door and +stood on the threshold. A full moon shone on the snow and in that white +and ghostly light his quick eye caught sight of a spectacle that made +his pulses leap. A fawn bounded out into the open field and headed for +his cabin, attracted by the firelight gleaming through the window and +door. Behind her and snapping almost at her heels, came a howling pack +of a half dozen wolves whose red, lolling tongues, white fangs and +flaming eyes were distinctly visible from where he stood. Coolly raising +his rifle he aimed at the leader and pulled the trigger. There was a +quick flash, a sharp report, and the wolf leaped high in the air, +plunged headlong, tumbled into the snow, and lay writhing in the pangs +of death. + +There was no time to load again, and there was no need, for the +terrified fawn, impelled by the instinct of self-preservation, chose the +lesser of two dangers and with a few wild bounds toward the cabin, flung +herself through the wide-open door. + +David had detected her purpose and stepped aside; and instantly she had +entered closed and bolted the door upon the very muzzles of her +pursuers. They dashed themselves against it and whined with baffled +rage, while the half-frantic deer crawled trembling to the side of her +preserver, licked his hands and lay at his feet gasping for breath. + +To some men an incident like this would have been an incident and +nothing more; but souls like Corson's perceive in every event and +experience of life, elements which lie beneath the surface. + +Not only was he saved from the spiritual defeat of which he was on the +verge, by being summoned instantly from the subjective into the +objective world; but the rescue of the deer became a beautiful and holy +symbol of life itself, and so revealed and illustrated life's main end +"the help of the helpless,"--that he was at once elevated from a region +of struggle and despair into one of triumph and hope. He remained in it +until he fell asleep. He awoke in it on the morrow. From that high plane +he did not again descend so low as he had been. The courage that had +been kindled and the purposes which had been crystallized by the joy of +this rescue and the gratitude of the deer remained permanently in his +heart. He lived in dreams of other acts like this, in which the objects +saved by his strength were not the beasts of the field, but the hunted +and despairing children of a heavenly Father. + +The fawn became to him a continual reminder of this spiritual struggle +and victory, for he kept it in his cabin, made it a companion, trained +it to follow him about his work, and finally presented it to Pepeeta. + +There were many beautiful things to be seen in the winter woods; snow +hanging in plumes from the trees, the smoke of the cabin curling into +the still air, rabbits browsing on the low bushes, the woodsman standing +in triumph over a fallen tree; but when, on the days of her visits to +the exile, Pepeeta entered the clearing and the deer, perceiving her +approach, ran to greet her in flying leaps, bounded around her, looked +up into her face with its gentle eyes, ate the food she offered and +licked the hand of its mistress--David thought that there was nothing +more beautiful in the world. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +PARADISE REGAINED + + "The loves that meet in Paradise shall cast out fear, + And Paradise hath room for you and me and all." + --Christina Rossetti. + + +At last--the springtime came! + +The potent energy of the sun opened all the myriad veins of the great +trees, wakened the hibernating creatures of the dens and burrows from +their protracted sleep, caused the seeds to swell and burst in the bosom +of earth, and sent the blood coursing through David's veins, quickening +all his intellectual and spiritual powers. + +And then, the end of his exile was near! In a few weeks he would have +vindicated the purity of his purpose to attain the divine life, and have +proved himself worthy to claim the hand of Pepeeta! + +All the winter long he had plied his axe. Once more, now that the snow +had vanished, he set fire to the debris which he had strewn around him, +and saw with an indescribable feeling of triumph and delight the open +soil made ready for his plow. He yoked a team of patient oxen to it and +set the sharp point deep into the black soil. Never had the earth +smelled so sweet as now when the broad share threw it back in a +continuously advancing wave. Never had that yeoman's joy of hearing the +ripping of roots and the grating of iron against stones as the great +oxen settled to their work, strained in their yokes and dragged the plow +point through the bosom of the earth, been half so genuine and deep. It +was good to be alive, to sleep, to eat, to toil! Cities had lost their +charm. David's sin was no longer a withering and blasting, but a +chastening and restraining memory. His clearing was a kingdom, his cabin +a palace, and he was soon to have a queen! He had reserved his sowing +for the last day of his self-imposed seclusion, which ended with the +month of May. + +On the day following, having accomplished his vow, he would go to the +house of God and claim his bride! This day he would devote to that +solemn function of scattering the sacred seed of life's chief support +into the open furrow! + +No wonder a feeling of devotion and awe came upon him as he prepared +himself for his task; for perhaps there is not a single act in the whole +economy of life better calculated to stir a thoughtful mind to its +profoundest depths than the sowing of those golden grains which have +within them the promise and potency of life. Year after year, century +after century, millions of men have gone forth in the light of the +all-beholding and life-giving sun to cast into the bosom of the earth +the sustenance of their children! It is a sublime act of faith, and this +sacrifice of a present for a future good, an actual for a potential +blessing, is no less beautiful and holy because familiar and old. The +Divine Master himself could not contemplate it without emotion and was +inspired by it to the utterance of one of his grandest parables. + +And then the field itself inspired solemn reflections and noble pride in +the mind of the sower. It was his own! He had carved it out of a +wilderness! Here was soil which had never been opened to the daylight. +Here was ground which perhaps for a thousand, and not unlikely for ten +thousand years, should bring forth seed to the sower; and he had cleared +it with his own hands! Generations and centuries after he should have +died and been forgotten, men would go forth into this field as he was +doing to-day, to sow their seed and reap their harvests. + +He slung his bag of grain over his shoulder and stepped forth from his +cabin at the dawn of day. The clearing he had made was an almost perfect +circle. All around it were the green walls of the forest with the great +trunks of the beeches, white and symmetrical, standing like vast +Corinthian columns supporting a green frieze upon which rested the lofty +roof of the immense cathedral. From the organ-loft the music of the +morning breeze resounded, and from the choirs the sweet antiphonals of +birds. Odors of pine, of balsam, of violets, of peppermint, of +fresh-plowed earth, of bursting life, were wafted across the vast nave +from transept to transept, and floated like incense up to heaven. + +The priest, about to offer his sacrifice, the sacrifice of a broken +heart and contrite spirit, about to confess his faith; in the beautiful +and symbolic act of sacrificing the present for the future, stepped +forth into the open furrow. + +His open countenance, bronzed with the sun, was lighted with love and +adoration; his lips smiled; his eyes glowed; he lifted them to the +heavens in an unspoken prayer for the benediction of the great +life-giver; he drew into his nostrils the sweet odors, into his lungs +the pure air, into his soul the beauty and glory of the world, and then, +filling his hand with the golden grain, he flung it into the bosom of +the waiting earth. + +All day long he strode across the clearing and with rhythmical swinging +of his brawny arm lavishly scattered the golden grain. + +As the sun went down and the sower neared the conclusion of his labor, +his emotions became deeper and yet more deep. He entered more and more +fully into the true spirit and significance of his act. He felt that it +was a sacrament. Thoughts of the operation of the mighty energies which +he was evoking; of the Divine spirit who brooded over all; of the coming +into this wilderness of the woman who was to be the good angel of his +life; of the ceremony that was to be enacted in the little meeting +house; of the work to which he was dedicated in the future, kindled his +soul into an ecstasy of joy. He ceased to be conscious of his present +task. The material world loosened its hold upon his senses. His thoughts +became riveted upon the elements of that spiritual universe that lay +within and around him, and that seemed uncovered to his view as to the +apostle of old. "Whether he was in the body, or out of the body, he +could not tell!" Finally he ceased to move; his hand was arrested and +hung poised in mid-air with the unscattered seed in its palm; he eyes +were fixed on some invisible object and he stood as he had stood when we +first caught sight of him in the half-plowed meadow--lost in a trance. + +How long he stood he never knew, but he was wakened, at last, as it was +natural and fitting he should be. + +Fulfilling her agreement to come and bring him home on the eve of their +wedding day, Pepeeta emerged like a beautiful apparition from an opening +in the green wall of the great cathedral. She saw David standing +immovable in the furrow. For a few moments she was absorbed in +admiration of the grace and beauty of the noble and commanding figure, +and then she was thrilled with the consciousness that she possessed the +priceless treasure of his love. But these emotions were followed by a +holy awe as she discovered that the soul of her lover was filled with +religious ecstasy. She felt that the place whereon she stood was holy +ground, and reverently awaited the emergence of the worshiper from the +holy of holies into which he had withdrawn for prayer. + +But the rapture lasted long and it was growing late. The shadows from +the summits of the hills had already crept across the clearing and were +silently ascending the trunks of the trees on the eastern side. It was +time for them to go. She took a step toward him, and then another, +moving slowly, reverently, and touched him on the arm. He started. The +half-closed hand relaxed and the seed fell to the ground, the dreamer +woke and descended from the heaven of the spiritual world into that of +the earthly, the heart of a pure and noble woman. + +"I have come," she said simply. + +He took her in his arms and kissed her. + +"Thee is not through yet?" + +"So it seems! I must have lost myself." + +"I think thee rather found thyself." + +"Perhaps I did; but I must finish my labor. It will never do for me to +let my visions supplant my tasks. They will be hurtful, save as +incentives to toil. I must be careful!" + +"Let me help thee. There are only a few more furrows. I am sure that I +can sow," she said, extending her hand. + +He placed some of the seed in her apron and she trudged by his side, +laughing at her awkwardness but laboring with all her might. Her lover +took her hand in his and showed her how to cast the seed, and so they +labored together until every open furrow was filled. It was dark when +they were done. They lingered a little while to put the cabin in order, +and then turned their faces towards the old farmhouse. + +The two little brooks were singing their evening song as they mingled +their waters together in front of that wilderness home. The lovers stood +a moment at their point of junction, as Pepeeta said, "It is a symbol of +our lives." They listened to the low murmur, watched the crystal stream +as it sparkled in the moonlight, stole away into the distance, chanting +its own melodious lay of love. It led them out of the clearing and into +the depths of the forest. They moved like spirits passing through a land +of dreams. The palpable world seemed stripped of its reality. The +creatures that stole across their path or started up as they passed, the +crickets that chirped their little idyls at the roots of the great +trees, the fire-flies that kindled their evanescent fires among the +bushes, the night owls that hooted solemnly in the tree tops, the rustle +of the leaves in the evening breeze, the gurgle of the waters over the +stones in the bed of the brook, their own muffled footfalls, the patches +of moonlight that lay like silver mats on the brown carpet of the woods, +the flickering shadows, the ghostly trunks of the trees, the slowly +swaying, plume-like branches, sounded only like faint echoes or gleamed +only like soft reflections of a fairy world! + +"It was here," Pepeeta said, pausing at the roots of a great beech tree, +"that I came the day after we had first seen each other, to inquire of +the gypsy goddess the secrets of the future. I have learned many lessons +since!" + +"It was here," said David, as they emerged from the forest into the +larger valley, "that thee stood, a little way from the doctor's side, +stroking the necks of his horses and peeping at us stealthily from under +thy long dark lashes on the day when he tried to persuade me to join him +in his roving life." + +"It was here," Pepeeta said, as they approached the little bridge, "that +we met each other and yielded our hearts to love." + +"And met again after our tragedy and our suffering, to find that love is +eternal," David added. + +They stood for a few moments in silence, recalling that bitter past, and +then the man of many sins and sorrows said, "Give me thy hand, Pepeeta. +How small it seems in mine. Let me fold thee in my arms; it makes my +heart bound to feel thee there! We have walked over rough roads +together, and the path before us may not be always smooth. We have +tasted the bitter cup between us, and there may still be dregs at the +bottom. It is hard to believe that after all the wrong we have done we +can still be happy. God is surely good! It seems to me that we must have +our feet on the right path. He paused for a moment and then continued: + +"I have brought thee many sorrows, sweetheart." + +"And many joys." + +"I mean to bring thee some in the future! The love I bear thee now is +different from that of the past. I cannot wait until to-morrow to pledge +thee my troth! Listen!" + +She did so, gazing up into his face with dark eyes in which the light of +the moon was reflected as in mountain lakes. There was something in +them which filled his heart with unutterable emotion, and his words hung +quivering upon his lips. + +"Speak, my love, for I am listening," she said. + +"I cannot," he replied. + + + + +A LIST OF RECENT FICTION OF THE BOWEN-MERRILL COMPANY + + + + +ONE QUARTER MILLION COPIES + +Have been sold of this great historical love-story of Princess Mary +Tudor, sister of Henry VIII Price, $1.50 + +WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER + +ASK YOUR BOOKSELLER FOR IT + + + + +A VIVACIOUS ROMANCE OF REVOLUTIONARY DAYS. + + * * * * * + +ALICE OF OLD VINCENNES + +By MAURICE THOMPSON + + * * * * * + +Mr. Thompson, whose delightful writings in prose and verse have made his +reputation national has achieved his master stroke of genius in this +historical novel of revolutionary days in Indiana.--_The Atlanta +Constitution_. + +There are three great chapters of fiction: Scott's tournament on Ashby +field, General Wallace's chariot race, and now Maurice Thompson's duel +scene and the raising of Alice's flag over old Fort Vincennes.--_Denver +Daily News_. + +More original than "Richard Carvel," more cohesive than "To Have and to +Hold," more vital than "Janice Meredith," such is Maurice Thompson's +superb American romance, "Alice of Old Vincennes." It is in addition, +more artistic and spontaneous than any of its rivals.--_Chicago +Times-Herald_. + +12 mo. with five illustrations and a frontispiece in color, drawn by +F.C. Yohn, + +Price $1.50 + +The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis + + + + +SWEEPERS of the SEA + +The Story of a Strange Navy + +By CLAUDE H. WETMORE + + * * * * * + +[From the _St. Louis Mirror_.] + +The recital of the deeds of the "Sweepers of the Sea" is a breathless +one. + +The romance is heightened by the realism of the technique of naval +warfare, by the sureness and voluminosity of nautical knowledge. + +Imaginary sea fights are told with all the particularity of real events, +and at the same time the descriptions have a breezy swing that hurries +the reader along to most startling catastrophes. + +Much of the material is evidently worked over from actual fact into the +texture of romance. + +The romance is evidently modern in action, but the motives are the grand +and noble motives of a mysterious and splendid antiquity. The decendants +of the Incas, moved by the Inca traditions, are not at all out of +harmony with modern war-ships, or with a very modern war-correspondent, +who is touched up a little to heroic proportions. + +The book is pleasurable all the way through, and some of the descriptive +passages are specimens of first-class writing. The work bears every +evidence of having been carefully done, and yet the story reels off as +naturally and easily as if it were a running record of fact. + +That the general public will take to the book is a safe conclusion. It +is just different enough from the ordinary, romantic novel to be +essentially new. + +Illustrated Price, $1.50 + +The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis + + + + +THE STORY OF AN AMERICAN CRUCIFIXION. + + * * * * * + +THE PENITENTES + +By LOUIS HOW. + + * * * * * + +To describe the customs of this band of intensely religious people +without laying on the color too thickly and without melodramatic +exaggeration, to retain all the color and picturesqueness of the +original scene without excess, was the difficult task which Mr. How had +to accomplish, and it is one which he has done well.--_Chicago Record_. + +"The Penitentes" abounds in dramatic possibilities. It is full of +action, warm color, and variety. The denouement at the little church of +San Rafael, when the soldiers surprise the Penitentes at mass +in the early dawn of their fete day, appeals strongly to the +dramatizer.--_Chicago Tribune_. + +Mr. How has done a truly remarkable piece of work . . . any hand, +however practiced, might well be proud of the marvelously good +descriptions, the dramatic, highly unusual story, the able +characterizations. If "The Penitentes" does not make its author notable +it will not be for lack of every "promising" condition.--_The Interior_. + +12 mo. Cloth, ornamental Price $1.50 The Bowen-Merrill Company, +Indianapolis + + + + +A STORY OF THE MORGAN RAID, DURING THE WAR OF THE REBELLION. + + * * * * * + +THE LEGIONARIES + +By HENRY SCOTT CLARK. + + * * * * * + +"The Legionaries" is pervaded with what seems to be the true spirit of +artistic impartiality. The hero, to be sure, is a secessionist, but the +author, at least in this book, is simply a narrator. He stands aside, +regarding with equal eye all the issues involved and the scales dip not +in his hands. To sum up, the first romance of the new day on the Ohio is +an eminently readable one--a good yarn well spun.--_Cincinnati +Commercial Tribune_. + +The appearance of a new novel in the west marks an epoch in fiction +relating to the war between the sections for the preservation of the +Union. "The Legionaries," by an anonymous writer, said to be a prominent +lawyer of the Hoosier state, concerns the raid made by the intrepid +Morgan through the southeastern corner of Indiana, through lower Ohio +and to the borders of West Virginia, where his depleted command ran into +a trap set by the federal authorities. It is a remarkable book, and we +can scarcely credit the assurance that it is the work of a new +writer.--_Rochester Herald_. + +The scene is laid in Kentucky and Indiana, and the backbone of the story +is Morgan's great raid--one of the most romantic and reckless pieces of +adventure ever attempted in the history of the world. Mr. Clark's +description of the "Ride of the Three Thousand" is a piece of literature +that deserves to live; and is as fine in its way as the chariot race +from "Ben Hur."--_Memphis Commercial Appeal_. + +12 mo. 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Western men and women will read because +it paints faithfully the life which they know so well, and because it +gives us three big, manly fellows, fine types of the cowboy at his best. +Eastern readers will be attracted by its splendid realism.--_San +Francisco Chronicle_. + +Mrs. Kelly's character stands out from the background of the New Mexican +plains, desert and mountain with all the distinctness of a Remington +sketch or of the striking colored illustrations drawn for the book by +Dan Smith. It is not alone in the superb local coloring or the vivid +character work that "With Hoops of Steel" is a notable book. The +incidents are admirably described and full of interest, and the movement +of the story is continuous and vigorous. The action is spirited and the +climaxes dramatic. 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The conflict between the law-abiding citizens, +led by the Governor, Earl Bellamont, and the merchants, headed by +Patroon Van Volkenberg, is at its height. + +The Governor has forbidden the port to the free traders or pirate ships, +which infested the Atlantic and sailed boldly under their own flag; +while the Patroon and his merchant colleagues not only traded openly +with the buccaneers, but owned and managed such illicit craft. + +The atmosphere of the tale is fresh in fiction, the plot is stirring and +well knit, and the author is possessed of the ability to write forceful, +fragrant English. + +12 mo., Illustrated in color + +by C.M. Relyea, Price $1.50 + +The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis + + + + +FUN FROM BOB BURDETTE. + + * * * * * + +Chimes From a Jester's Bells + + * * * * * + +A volume of humorous and pathetic stories and sketches. By Robert J. +Burdette. 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