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diff --git a/old/14730-h/14730-h.htm b/old/14730-h/14730-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e617bf1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14730-h/14730-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10866 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Redemption of David Corson, by Charles Frederic Goss</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .pagenum {position: absolute; left: 92%; font-size: smaller; text-align: right;} /* page numbers */ + .sidenote {width: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; margin-left: 1em; + float: right; clear: right; margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; background: #eeeeee; border: dashed 1px;} + + .bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + .bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + .br {border-right: solid 2px;} + .bbox {border: solid 2px;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span {display: block; margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4em;} + hr.full { width: 100%; } + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ +</style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Redemption of David Corson, by Charles +Frederic Goss</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Redemption of David Corson</p> +<p>Author: Charles Frederic Goss</p> +<p>Release Date: January 19, 2005 [eBook #14730]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REDEMPTION OF DAVID CORSON***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by Audrey Longhurst, Charlie Kirschner,<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team</h3> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<div class="figcenter"><a href="images/cover.jpg"><img src= +"images/cover.jpg" width="45%" alt="" title="" /></a></div> +<div> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h1>THE REDEMPTION<br /> +OF DAVID CORSON</h1> +</div> +<h4>by</h4> + +<h2>Charles Frederic Goss</h2> + +<p> </p> +<h4>1900</h4> +<p> </p> +<h6>The Bowen-Merrill Company</h6> +<p> </p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<div class="center"><i>To my friend</i><br /> +<i>William Harvey Anderson</i></div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>Contents</h2> +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_I">I.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_I">This Other Eden</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_II">II.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_II">And Satan Came Also</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_III">III.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_III">The Egyptians</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">IV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">The Woman</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_V">V.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_V">The Light That Lies</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">VI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">The Trail of the Serpent</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">VII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">The Chance Word</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">VIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">A Broken Reed</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">IX.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">Where Paths Converge</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_X">X.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_X">A Poisoned Spring</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">XI</a>.</td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">The Flesh and the Devil</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">XII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">The Moth and the Flame</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">XIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">Found Wanting</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">XIV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">Turned Tempter</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">XV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">The Snare of the Fowler</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">XVI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">The Derelicts</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">XVII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">The Shadow of Death</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">XVIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">A Fugitive and a Vagabond</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">XIX.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">Alienation</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XX">XX.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XX">The Inevitable Hour</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">XXI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">A Signal in the Night</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">XXII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">Heart Hunger</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">XXIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">Where I Might Find Him</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">XXIV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">Safe Haven</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXV">XXV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXV">The Little Lad</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVI">XXVI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVI">Out of the Shadow</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVII">XXVII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVII">If Thine Enemy Hunger</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVIII">XXVIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXVIII">A Man Crossed With Adversity</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIX">XXIX.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIX">As a Tale That is Told</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXX">XXX.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXX">Out of the Jaws of Death</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXI">XXXI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXI">The Great Refusal</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXII">XXXII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXII">The End of Exile</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIII">XXXIII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIII">A Self-imposed Expiation</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIV">XXXIV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXIV">Fasting in the Wilderness</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXV">XXXV.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXV">A Forest Idyl</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVI">XXXVI.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVI">The Supreme Test</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td align='right'><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVII">XXXVII.</a></td> +<td><a href="#CHAPTER_XXXVII">Paradise Regained</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +</div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h1>THE REDEMPTION OF</h1> +<h1>DAVID CORSON</h1> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h2> +<h3>THIS OTHER EDEN</h3> +<div class="blockquot">"This other Eden, demi-paradise, this +fortress built by nature." —Richard II.</div> +<p>Hidden away in this worn and care-encumbered world, scarred with +its frequent traces of a primeval curse, are spots so quiet and +beautiful as to make the fall of man seem incredible, and awaken in +the breast of the weary traveler who comes suddenly upon them, a +vague and dear delusion that he has stumbled into Paradise.</p> +<p>Such an Eden existed in the extreme western part of Ohio in the +spring of eighteen hundred and forty-nine. It was a valley +surrounded by wooded hills and threaded by a noisy brook which +hastily made its way, as if upon some errand of immense importance, +down to the big Miami not many miles distant. A road cut through a +vast and solemn forest led into the valley, and entering as if by a +corridor and through the open portal of a temple, the traveler saw +a white farm-house nestling beneath a mighty hackberry tree whose +wide-reaching arms sheltered it from summer sun and winter wind. A +deep, wide lawn of bluegrass lay in front, and a garden of flowers, +fragrant and brilliant, on its southern side. Stretching away into +the background was the farm newly carved out of the wilderness, but +already in a high state of cultivation. All those influences which +stir the deepest emotion of the heart were silently operating +here—quiet, order, beauty, power, life. It affected one to +enter it unprepared in much the same way, only with a greater +variety and richness of emotion, as to push through dense brush and +suddenly behold a mountain lake upon whose bosom there is not so +much as a ripple, and in whose silver mirror surrounding forests, +flying water-fowl and the bright disk of the sun are perfectly +reflected.</p> +<p>In this lovely valley, at the close of a long, odorous, +sun-drenched day in early May, the sacred silence was broken by a +raucous blast from that most unmusical of instruments, a tin dinner +horn. It was blown by a bare-legged country boy who seemed to take +delight in this profanation. By his side, in the vine-clad porch of +the white farm-house stood a woman who shaded her eyes with her +hand as she looked toward a vague object in a distant meadow. She +was no longer young, but had exchanged the exquisite beauty of +youth for the finer and more impressive beauty of maturity. As the +light of the setting sun fell full upon her face it seemed almost +transparent, and even the unobserving must have perceived that some +deep experience of the sadness of life had added to her character +an indescribable charm.</p> +<p>"Thee will have to go and call him, Stephen, for I think he has +fallen into another trance," the woman said, in a low voice in +which there was not a trace of impatience, although the evening +meal was waiting and the pressing work of the household had been +long delayed.</p> +<p>The child threw down his dinner horn, whistled to his dog and +started. Springing up from where he had been watching every +expression of his master's face, the shaggy collie bounded around +him as he moved across the lawn, while the woman watched them with +a proud and happy smile. They had scarcely entered the long lane +leading to the pasture, when a woodchuck shambled out of the corner +of the fence and ran lumbering into his burrow. Rushing excitedly +after him the child clapped his hands and shouted: "Dig him out! +Dig him out, Shep!" Tearing up the ground with his paws and +thrusting his head down into the subterranean chamber, the obedient +collie yelped and whined. Then backing out and plunging in once +more, he yelped and whined again. The hole was too deep or the time +too short and the boy became discouraged. Moving reluctantly away +he chidingly summoned his companion to follow him. The dog, +humiliated by his failure, obeyed, and sheepishly licked his mouth +with his long, red tongue.</p> +<p>By this time the sun's disk had sunk behind the hills, its +trailing glory lingering above their summits while slowly in the +sky faded continents, mountains and spires. The day had died +regretfully upon a couch o'erhung with gorgeous canopies, and the +ensanguined bier still seemed to tremble with his last sigh. Birds +in the tops of trees and crickets beneath the sod were giving +expression to the emotions of the sad heart of the great earth in +melancholy evening songs. The odors of peach and apple blossoms, +wafted by gentle breezes from distant orchards, made the valley +fragrant as an oriental garden. The soothing influence of the +approaching night subdued the effervescent spirits of the lad, and +he began to walk softly, as do nuns in the aisles of dim cathedrals +or deer in the pathways of the moonlit forest. These few moments +between twilight and dark are pregnant with a mysterious holiness +and it is doubtful if the worst of men could find the courage to +commit a crime while they endure.</p> +<p>Unutterable and incomprehensible emotions were awakened in the +soul of the boy by the stillness and beauty of the evening world. +His senses were not yet dulled nor his feelings jaded. Through +every avenue of his intelligence the mystery of the universe stole +into his sensitive spirit. If a breeze blew across the meadow he +turned his cheek to its kiss; if the odor of spearmint from the +brookside was wafted around him he breathed it into his nostrils +with delight. He saw the shadow of a crow flying across the field +and stopped to look up and listen for the swish of her wings and +her loud, hoarse caw as she made her way to the nesting grounds; +then he gazed beyond her, into the fathomless depths of the blue +sky, and his soul was stirred with an indescribable awe. Everything +filled him with surprise, with wonder and with ecstasy,—the +glowing sky above the western hills, the new pale crescent of the +silver moon, the heavy-laden honey bees eagerly hastening home, the +long shadows lying across his path, the trees with branches swaying +in the evening breeze, the cows with bursting udders lowing at the +bars.</p> +<p>But it was not so much the objects themselves as the spirit +pervading them, which stirred the depths of the child's mind. The +little pantheist saw God everywhere. We bestow the gift of language +upon a child, but the feelings which that language serves only to +interpret and express exist and glow within him even if he be dumb. +And this gift of language is often of questionable value, and had +been so with him. Things he had heard said about God often made the +boy hate Him. All that he felt, filled him with love. To him the +valley was heaven, and through it invisibly but unmistakably God +walked, morning, noon and evening.</p> +<p>To the child sauntering dreamily and wistfully along, the object +dimly seen from the farm-house door began gradually to dissolve +itself into a group of living beings. Two horses were attached to a +plow; one standing in the lush grass of the meadow, and the other +in a deep furrow traced across its surface. The first, an old gray +mare, was breathing heavily, her sides expanding and contracting +like a bellows. Her wide nostrils opened and closed with spasmodic +motions. Her eyes were shut and she seemed to be asleep. The other, +a young and slender filly doing this season the first real service +of her life, pawed the ground restlessly, snorted, shook her mane, +rattled the harness chains and looked angrily over her shoulder at +the driver. The plowshare was buried deep in the rich, alluvial +soil, and a ribbon of earth rolled from its blade like a petrified +sea billow, crested with a cluster of daisies white as the foam of +a wave.</p> +<p>Between the handles of the plow and leaning on the crossbar, his +back to the horses, stood a young Quaker. His broad-brimmed hat, +set carelessly on the back of his head, disclosed a wide, high +forehead; his flannel shirt, open at the throat, exposed a strong, +columnar neck, and a deep, broad chest; his sunburned and muscular +arms were folded across his breast; figure and posture revealed the +perfect concord of body and soul with the beauty of the world; his +great blue eyes were fixed upon the notch in the hills where the +sun had just disappeared; he gazed without seeing and felt without +thinking.</p> +<p>The boy approached this statuesque figure with a stealthy tread, +and plucking a long spear of grass tickled the bronzed neck. The +hand of the plowman moved automatically upward as if to brush away +a fly, and at this unconscious action the child, seized by a +convulsion of laughter and fearing lest it explode, stuffed his +fists into his mouth. In the opinion of this irreverent young +skeptic his Uncle Dave was in a "tantrum" instead of a "trance," +and he thought such a disease demanded heroic treatment.</p> +<p>For several years this Quaker youth had been the subject of +remarkable emotional experiences, in explanation of which the rude +wits of the village declared that he had been moon-struck; the +young girls who adored his beauty thought he was in love, and the +venerable fathers and mothers of this religious community believed +that in him the scriptural prophecy, "Your young men shall see +visions," had been literally fulfilled. David Corson himself +accepted the last explanation with unquestioning faith. He no more +doubted the existence of a spiritual than of a material universe. +He did not even conceive of their having well-defined boundaries, +but seemed to himself to pass from one to the other as easily as +across the lines of adjoining farms. In this respect he resembled +many a normal youth, except that this impression had lingered with +him a little longer than was usual; for faith is always +instinctive, while skepticism is the result of experience and +reflection. Having as yet only wandered around the edges of the +sacred groves of wisdom where these pitiless teachers break the +sweet shackles of their pupils, he still thought the thoughts of +childhood and instinctively obeyed the injunction of Emerson, to +"reverence the dreams of our youth," and the admonition of Richter, +that "when we cease to do so, then dies the man in us." Whatever +might have been the real nature of these emotional experiences, no +one doubted that they possessed a genuine reality of some kind or +other, for it was a matter of history in this little community that +David Corson had often exercised prophetic, mesmeric and +therapeutic powers.</p> +<p>The life of this young man had been pure and uneventful. +Existence in this frontier region, once full of the tragedy of +Indian warfare, had been gradually softened by peace and religion. +The passions slowly kindling in the struggle over slavery had not +yet burst into flame, and this particular valley was even more +quiet than others because it had been settled by a colony of +Quakers. Into it the rude noises of the great outside world floated +only in softened echoes, and what knowledge young Corson had +acquired of that vague and shadowy realm had come mainly through +traveling preachers, and this, because of their simplicity and +unworldliness, was not unlike hearing the crash of arms through +silken portieres or seeing the flash of lightning through the +stained-glass windows of a cathedral. In such a sequestered region +books and papers were scarce, and he had access only to a few +volumes written by quietists and mystics, and to that great mine of +sacred literature, the Holy Bible. The seeds of knowledge sown by +these books in the rich soil of this young heart were fertilized by +the society of noble men, virtuous women, and natural surroundings +of exquisite beauty.</p> +<p>But however limited his knowledge of men and affairs, the young +mystic had acquired an extraordinary familiarity with the +operations of the divine life which animates the universe. He +seemed to have found the pass-key to nature's mysteries, and to +have acquired a language by which he could communicate with all her +creatures. He knew where the rabbits burrowed, where the partridges +nested, and where the wild bees stored their honey. He could +foretell storms by a thousand signs, possessed the homing instinct +of the pigeons, knew where the first violets were to be found, and +where the last golden-rod would bloom. The squirrels crept down the +trunks of trees to nibble the crumbs which he scattered for them. +He could fold up his hands like a cup and at his whistle birds +would drop into them as into a nest. His was a beautiful soul, and +what Novalis said of Spinoza might have been said of him, "he was a +God-intoxicated man." He was in that blissful period of existence +when the interpretations of life imparted to him by his elders +solved the few simple problems of thought and action pressed upon +him by his environment. He had never seriously questioned any of +the ideas received from his instructors. He was often conscious of +the infinite mystery lying beyond his ken, but never of those +frightful inconsistencies and contradictions in nature and life by +which the soul is sooner or later paralyzed or at least +bewildered.</p> +<p>And so his outlook upon the universe was serene and untroubled. +As he stood there in the deepening twilight he differed from the +child who had approached him in this, that while the boy reveled in +the beauty around him because he did not try to comprehend it, the +youth was intoxicated by the belief that he possessed the clue to +all these mysteries, and had a working theory of all the phenomena +in the natural and spiritual world in which he moved. To such +mystical natures this confidence is unavoidable anywhere through +the period of the pride of adolescence; but it was heightened in +this case by the simplicity of life's problems in this narrow +valley, and in the provincial little village which was the +metropolis of this sparsely settled region. To him "the cackle of +that bourg was the murmur of the world," and his theories of a life +lacking the complexities of larger aggregations of men seemed +adequate, because he had never seen them thoroughly tested, to meet +every emergency arising for reflection or endeavor. In this mental +attitude of serene and undisturbed confidence that he knew the real +meaning of existence, and was in constant contact with the divine +mind through knowledge or through vision, every avenue of his +spirit was open to the influences of nature. Through all that +gorgeous day of May he had been drawing these influences into his +being as the vegetation drew in light and moisture, until his soul +was drenched through and through, and at that perfect hour of dusk, +when the flowers and grasses exhaled the gifts they had received +from heaven and earth in a richer, finer perfume like an evening +oblation, the young dreamer was also rendering back those gifts +bestowed by heaven in an incense of purest thought and aspiration. +It was one of those hours that come occasionally in that sublime +period of unshattered ideals and unsullied faith, for which Pharaoh +and Cæsar would have exchanged their thrones, Croesus and +Lucullus bartered their wealth, Solomon and Aristotle forgotten +their learning.</p> +<p>Every imaginative youth who has been reared in pure surroundings +experiences over again in these rare and radiant hours all the +bliss that Adam knew in Eden. To his joyous, eager spirit, the +world appears a new creation fresh from the hand of God. He hears +its author walking in the garden at eventide, and murmuring: +"Behold it is very good." A single element of disquietude, a +solitary, vague unrest disturbs him. He awaits his Eve with +longing, but has no dread of the serpent.</p> +<p>At sight of this young man the most superficial observer would +have paused to take a second look; an artist would have +instinctively seized his pencil or his brush; a scientist would +have paused to inquire what mysterious influences could have +produced so finely proportioned a nature; a philosopher to wonder +what would become of him in some sudden and powerful +temptation.</p> +<p>None of these reflections disturbed the mind of the barefooted +boy. Having suppressed his laughter, he tickled the sunburnt neck +again. Once more the hand rose automatically, and once more the boy +was almost strangled with delight. The dreamer was hard to awaken, +but his tormentor had not yet exhausted his resources. No genuine +boy is ever without that fundamental necessity of childhood, a pin, +and finding one somewhere about his clothing, he thrust it into the +leg of the plowman. The sudden sting brought the soaring saint from +heaven to earth. In an instant the mystic was a man, and a strong +one, too. He seized the unsanctified young reprobate with one hand +and hoisted him at arm's length above his head.</p> +<p>"Oh, Uncle Dave, I'll never do it again! Never! Never! Let me +down."</p> +<p>Still holding him aloft as a hunter would hold a falcon, the +reincarnated "spirit" laughed long, loud and merrily, the echoes of +his laughter ringing up the valley like a peal from a chime of +bells. The child's fear was needless, for the heart and hands that +dealt with him were as gentle as a woman's. The youth, resembling +some old Norse god as he stood there in the gathering gloom, +lowered the child slowly, and printing a kiss on his cheek, +said:</p> +<p>"Thee little pest, thee has no reverence! Thee should never +disturb a child at his play, a bird on his nest nor a man at his +prayers."</p> +<p>"But thee was not praying, Uncle Dave," the boy replied. "Thee +was only in another of thy tantrums. The supper has grown cold, the +horses are tired and Shep and I have walked a mile to call thee. +Grandmother said thee had a trance. Tell me what thee has seen in +thy visions, Uncle Dave?"</p> +<p>"God and His angels," said the young mystic softly, falling +again into the mood from which he had been so rudely awakened.</p> +<p>"Angels!" scoffed the young materialist. "If thee was thinking +of any angel at all, I will bet thee it was Dorothy Fraser."</p> +<p>"Tush, child, do not be silly," replied the convicted culprit. +For it was easier than he would care to admit to mingle visions of +beauty with those of holiness.</p> +<p>"I am not silly. Thee would not dare say thee was not thinking +of her. She thinks of thee."</p> +<p>"How does thee know?"</p> +<p>"Because she gives me bread and jam if I so much as mention thy +name."</p> +<p>This did not offend the young plowman, to judge by the +expression of his face; but he said nothing, and, stooping down, +loosened the chains of the whiffletree and turned the faces of the +tired horses homeward. The cavalcade moved on in silence for a few +moments, but nothing can repress the chatter of a boy, and +presently he began again.</p> +<p>"Uncle Dave, was it really up this very valley that Mad Anthony +Wayne marched with his brave soldiers?"</p> +<p>"This very valley."</p> +<p>"I wish I could have been with him."</p> +<p>"It is an evil wish. Thee is a child of peace. Thy father and +thy father's fathers have denied the right of men to war. Thee +ought to be like them, and love the things that make for +peace."</p> +<p>"Well, if I can not wish for war, I will wish that a runaway +slave would dash up this valley with a pack of bloodhounds at his +heels. Oh, Uncle Dave, tell me that story about thy hiding a negro +in the haystack, and choking the bloodhounds with thine own +hands."</p> +<p>"I have told thee a hundred times."</p> +<p>"But I want to hear it again."</p> +<p>"Use thy memory and thy imagination."</p> +<p>"Oh, no, please tell me. I like to hear some one tell +something."</p> +<p>"Thee does? Then listen to the whip-poor-will, the cricket or +the brook."</p> +<p>"I hear them, but I do not know what they say. Tell me."</p> +<p>"Tell thee! No one can tell thee, child, if thee can not +understand for thyself. The message differs for the hearers, and +the difference is in the ear and not the sound."</p> +<p>They both paused for a moment, and listened to those soothing +lullabies with which nature sings the world to sleep. So powerful +was the tide that floated the mystic out on the ocean of dreams, he +would have drifted away again if the child had not suddenly +recalled him.</p> +<p>"I can not make out what they say," he cried, "and anyhow there +is no time to try. Come, let us go. Everybody is waiting for +us."</p> +<p>"Thee is right," answered his uncle. "Go and let down the bars +and we will hurry home."</p> +<p>The child, bounding forward, did as he was told, and the tired +procession entered the barnyard. The plowman fed his horses, and +stopped to listen for a moment to their deep-drawn sighs of +contentment, and to the musical grinding of the oats in their +teeth. His imaginative mind read his own thoughts into everything, +and he believed that he could distinguish in these inarticulate +sounds the words, "Good-night. Good-night."</p> +<p>"Good-night," he said, and stroking their great flanks with his +kind hand, left them to their well-earned repose. On his way to the +house he stopped to bathe his face in the waters of a spring brook +that ran across the yard, and then entered the kitchen where supper +was spread.</p> +<p>"Thee is late," said the woman who had watched and waited, her +fine face radiant with a smile of love and welcome.</p> +<p>"Forgive me, mother," he replied. "I have had another +vision."</p> +<p>"I thought as much. Thee must remember what thee has seen, my +son," she said, "for all that thee beholds with the outer eye shall +pass away, while what thee sees with the inner eye abides forever. +And had thee a message, too?"</p> +<p>"It was delivered to me that on the holy Sabbath day I should go +to the camp in Baxter's clearing and preach to the lumbermen."</p> +<p>"Then thee must go, my son."</p> +<p>"I will," he answered, taking her hand affectionately, but with +Quaker restraint, and leading her to the table.</p> +<p>The family, consisting of the mother, an adopted daughter +Dorothea, the daughter's husband Jacob and son Stephen, sat down to +a simple but bountiful supper, during which and late into the +evening the young mystic pondered the vision which he believed +himself to have seen, and the message which he believed himself to +have heard. In his musings there was not a tremor or a doubt; he +would have as soon questioned the reality of the old farm-house and +the faces of the family gathered about the table. Of the +susceptibility of the nerves to morbid activity, or the powers of +the overdriven brain to objectify its concepts, he had never even +dreamed. He was a credulous and unsophisticated youth, dwelling in +a realm of imagination rather than in a world of reality and law. +He had much to learn. His education was about to begin, and to +begin as does all true and effective education, in a spiritual +temptation. The Ghebers say that when their great prophet Ahriman +was thrown into the fire by the order of Nimrod, the flames into +which he fell turned into a bed of roses, upon which he peacefully +reclined. This innocent Quaker youth had been reclining upon a bed +of roses which now began to turn into a couch of flames.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h2> +<h3>AND SATAN CAME ALSO</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"It is the little rift within +the lute</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That by and by will make the +music mute,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And ever widening slowly silence +all."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Tennyson.</span></p> +<p>At the moment when Stephen was sounding the horn to summon the +young mystic to his supper, a promiscuous crowd of loafers with +chairs tilted against the wall of the village tavern received a +shock.</p> +<p>They heard the tinkle of bells in the distance, and looking in +the direction of this unusual sound, saw a team of splendid +coal-black horses dash round a corner and whirl a strange vehicle +to the door of the inn.</p> +<p>There were two extraordinary figures on the front seat of the +wagon. The driver was a sturdy, thick-set man whose remarkable +personal appearance was fixed instantly and ineradicably in the +mind of the beholder by an enormous moustache whose shape, size and +color suggested a crow with outstretched wings. As if to emphasize +the ferocious aspect lent him by this hairy canopy which completely +concealed his mouth, Nature had duplicated it in miniature by brows +meeting above his nose and spreading themselves, plume-like, over a +pair of eyes which gleamed so brightly that they could be felt, +altho' they were so deep-set that they could scarcely be seen.</p> +<p>This fierce and buccaneerish person summoned the dozing hostler +in a coarse, imperative voice, flung him the reins, sprang from his +seat, and assisted his companion to alight. She gave him her hand +with an air of utter indifference, bestowed upon him neither smile +nor thanks, and dropped to the ground with a light flutter like a +bird. Turning instantly toward the tavern, she ascended the steps +of the porch under a fusillade of glances of astonishment and +admiration. Young and beautiful, dressed in a picturesque and +brilliant Spanish costume, she carried herself with the ease and +dignity of a princess, and looked straight past, or rather through +the staring crowd, fastened like inverted brackets to the tavern +wall. Her great, dreamy eyes did not seem to note them.</p> +<p>When she and her companion had entered the hall and closed the +door behind them, every tilted chair came down to the floor with a +bang, and many voices exclaimed in concert, "Who the devil is she?" +Curiosity was satisfied at eight o'clock in the evening, for at +that hour Doctor Paracelsus Aesculapius, as he fantastically called +himself, opened the doors of his traveling apothecary shop and +exposed his "universal panacea" for sale, while at the same time, +"Pepeeta, the Queen of Fortune Tellers," entered her booth and +spread out upon a table the paraphernalia by which she undertook to +discover the secrets of the future.</p> +<p>When the evening's work was ended, Pepeeta at once retired; but +the doctor entered the bar-room, followed by a curious and admiring +crowd. He was in a happy and expansive frame of mind, for he had +done a "land office" business in this frontier village which he was +now for the first time visiting.</p> +<p>"Have a drink, b-b-boys?" he asked, looking over the crowd with +an air of superiority and waving his hand with an inclusive +gesture. The motley throng of loafers sidled up to the bar with a +deprecatory and automatic movement. They took their glasses, +clinked them, nodded to their entertainer, muttered incoherent +toasts and drank his health. The delighted landlord, feeling it +incumbent upon him to break the silence, offered the friendly +observation: "S-s-see you s-s-stutter. S-s-stutter a little m-m-my +own self."</p> +<p>"Shake!" responded the doctor, who was in too complacent a mood +to take offence, and the worthies grasped hands.</p> +<p>"Don't know any w-w-way to s-s-stop it, do you?" asked the +landlord.</p> +<p>"No, I d-d-don't; t-t-tried everything. Even my 'universal +p-p-panacea' won't do it, and what that can't do can't be d-d-done. +Incurable d-d-disease. Get along all right when I go slow like +this; but when I open the throttle, get all b-b-balled up. Bad +thing for my business. Give any man a thousand d-d-dollars that'll +cure me," the quack replied, slapping his trousers pocket as if +there were millions in it.</p> +<p>"Co-co-couldn't go q-q-quite as high as that; but wouldn't mind +a hu-hu-hundred," responded the landlord cordially.</p> +<p>"Ever hear the story about the landlord's troubles in the +Mexican war?" asked one of the by-standers turning to the +quack.</p> +<p>"Tell it," he responded laconically.</p> +<p>Several members of the group looked at each other and exchanged +significant winks as the narrator began his tale.</p> +<p>"They made him sergeant of a company, but had to reduce him to +the ranks, because when he was drilling the boys one day they all +marched into the river and got drowned before he could say +h-h-halt."</p> +<p>The doctor laughed and the others joined him out of courtesy, +for the story was worn threadbare in the bar-room.</p> +<p>"Tell about his going on picket duty," suggested some one.</p> +<p>"Captain ordered him out on the line," said the first speaker, +"and he refused. 'T-t-tain't no use,' says he.</p> +<p>"'Why not?' says the captain.</p> +<p>"'C-c-cause,' says he, 'if some d-d-dirty Mexican g-g-greaser +should c-c-come along, he'd run me through the g-g-gizzard before I +could ask him for the c-c-countersign.'"</p> +<p>More tipsy laughter followed.</p> +<p>"Tell you what it is, b-b-boys," said the quack, growing +communicative under the influence of the liquor and the fellowship, +"if it wasn't for this b-b-blankety-blanketed impediment in my +s-s-speech, I wouldn't need to work more'n about another +y-y-year!"</p> +<p>"How's that?" asked someone in the crowd.</p> +<p>"C-c-cause if I could talk as well as I c-c-can think, I could +make a fortune 'side of which old John Jacob Astor's would look +like a p-p-penny savings b-b-bank!"</p> +<p>"You could?"</p> +<p>"You bet your sweet life I c-c-could. And I'm just keeping my +eyes open for some young f-f-fellow to help me. For 'f I can find a +man that can do the t-talking (I mean real talk, you know; talk a +crowd blind as b-b-bats), I've got something better'n a California +g-g-gold mine."</p> +<p>"Better get Dave Corson," said the village wag from the rear of +the crowd, and up went a wild shout of laughter.</p> +<p>"Who's D-D-Dave Corson?" asked the doctor.</p> +<p>"Quaker preacher. Young feller 'bout twenty years old."</p> +<p>"Can he t-t-talk?"</p> +<p>"Talk! He kin talk a mule into a trottin' hoss in less'n three +minutes."</p> +<p>"He's my man!" exclaimed the doctor, at which the crowd laughed +again.</p> +<p>"What the d-d-deuce are you laughing at?" he asked, turning upon +them savagely, his loud voice and threatening manner frightening +those who stood nearest, so that they instinctively stepped back a +pace or two.</p> +<p>"No offence, Doc," said one of them; "but you couldn't get +him."</p> +<p>"Couldn't get him! Why couldn't I g-g-get him?"</p> +<p>"He's pious."</p> +<p>"Pious! What do <i>I</i> care?"</p> +<p>"Well, these here pious Quakers are stiff in their notions. But +you kin jedge fer yourself 'bout his talkin', fer there's goin' ter +be an appinted Quaker meetin' to-morrow night, and he'll speak. You +kin go an' listen, if you want to."</p> +<p>"I'll be there, boys, and d-d-don't you forget it. I'll hook +him! Never saw anything I couldn't buy if I had a little of the +p-p-proper stuff about me. Drink to my l-l-luck, boys, and watch +me!"</p> +<p>The landlord filled their glasses once more, and low gurglings, +smothered swallows, and loud smacking of lips filled the interim of +interrupted conversation.</p> +<p>"I say, Doc, that daughter of yours knows her biz when it comes +to telling fortunes," ventured a young dandy, whose head had been +turned by Pepeeta's beauty.</p> +<p>"D-d-daughter!" snapped the quack, turning sharply upon him; +"she's not my daughter, she's my wife!"</p> +<p>"Wife! Gosh! You don't say?" exclaimed the crestfallen +dandy.</p> +<p>"Yes, wife! And I'll j-j-just warn any of you young f-f-fellers +that if I catch you trying to p-p-plow with my heifer, you'll be +food for buzzards before sun-up!"</p> +<p>He swept his eyes savagely round the circle as he spoke, and the +subject dropped.</p> +<p>The conversation turned into other channels, and flowed in a +maudlin, sluggish manner far into the night. Every member of the +bibulous party was as happy as he knew how to be. The landlord's +till was full of money, the loafers were full of liquor, and the +doctor's heart was full of vanity and trust in himself.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h2> +<h3>THE EGYPTIANS</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Steal! to be sure they may; and egad, serve your best thoughts +as gypsies do stolen children,—disfigure them to make them +pass for their own."</p> +<p>—Sheridan.</p> +</div> +<p>In order to comprehend the relationship of this strangely mated +pair, we must go back five or six years to a certain day when this +same Doctor Aesculapius rode slowly down the main street of a small +city in Western Pennsylvania, and then out along a rugged country +highway. A couple of miles brought him to the camp of a band of +gypsies.</p> +<p>A thin column of smoke ascending from a fire which seemed almost +too lazy to burn, curled slowly into the air.</p> +<p>Around this campfire was a picturesque group of persons, all of +whom, with a single exception, vanished like a covey of quail at +the approach of the stranger. The man who stood his ground was a +truly sinister being. He was tall, thin and angular; his clothing +was scant and ragged, his face bronzed with exposure to the sun. A +thin moustache of straggling hairs served rather to exaggerate than +to conceal the vicious expression of a hare-lipped mouth. He stood +with his elbow in the palm of one hand and his chin in the other, +while around his legs a pack of wolf-like dogs crawled and growled +as the traveler drew near. Throwing himself lightly to the ground +the intruder kicked the curs who sprang at him, and as the +terrified pack went howling into the door of the tent, said +cheerily.</p> +<p>"Good-morning, Baltasar."</p> +<p>The gypsy acknowledged his salutation with a frown.</p> +<p>"I wish to sell this horse," the traveler added, without +appearing to notice his cold reception.</p> +<p>The gypsy swept his eye over the animal and shook his head.</p> +<p>"If you will not buy, perhaps you will trade," the traveler +said.</p> +<p>"Come," was the laconic response, and so saying, the gypsy +turned towards the forest which lay just beyond the camp. The +"doctor" obeyed, and the dogs sneaked after him, still growling, +but keeping a respectful distance. A moment later he found himself +in a sequestered spot where there was an improvised stable; and a +dozen or more horses glancing up from their feed whinnied a +welcome.</p> +<p>"Look zem over," said the gypsy, again putting his elbow in his +left hand and his chin in his right—a posture into which he +always fell when in repose.</p> +<p>The quack, moving among the animals with an easy, familiarity, +glanced them over quickly but carefully, and shook his head.</p> +<p>"What!" exclaimed the gypsy with well feigned surprise; "ze +señor doez not zee ze horse he wanz?"</p> +<p>"Horses!" exclaimed the quack; "these are not horses. These are +boneyards. Every one of them is as much worse than mine as mine is +than the black stallion you stole in Pittsburg on the twenty-first +day of last October."</p> +<p>"Worze zan yourz! It eez impozzeeble!" answered the gypsy, as if +he had not heard the accusation. "Ziz horze ov yourz eez what you +call a crow-zcare! Zhe eez two hunner year ol'. Her teeth are fell +oud. Zhe haz ze zpavins. Zhe haz ze ringa bonze. But, +señor," growing suddenly respectful, and spreading out his +hands in open and persuasive gestures, "ere eez a horze zat eez a +horze. Ee knowz more zan a man! Ee gan work een ze arnez, ee gan +work een ze zaddle; ee gan drot; ee can gallop; ee gan bead ze +winz!"</p> +<p>The gypsy had played his part well and concealed with consummate +art whatever surprise he might have felt at the charge of theft. +His attitude was free, his look was bold and his manner full of +confidence.</p> +<p>The demeanor of the quack suddenly altered. From that of an easy +nonchalance, it turned to savage determination.</p> +<p>"Baltasar," he said, his face white and hard; "let us stop our +acting. Where is that stallion?"</p> +<p>"Whad ztallion?" asked the imperturbable gypsy, with an +expression of child-like innocence.</p> +<p>"I will not even take time to tell you, but if you do not take +me to him this instant there will be a dead gypsy in these woods," +said the quack fiercely.</p> +<p>"Ze zdranger jesz!" the gypsy answered blandly, showing his +teeth and spreading out the palms of his hands.</p> +<p>The quack reached into his bosom, drew forth a pistol, pointed +it at the right eye of the gypsy, and said: "Look into the mouth of +that and tell me whether you see a bullet lying in its throat!"</p> +<p>"I zink zat ze señor an' heez piztol are boz lying in +zeir zroats," he answered with easy irony.</p> +<p>"Good! But I am not here to match wits with you. I want that +horse, and lie or no lie, I will have it. Take me to it, or I swear +I will blow out your brains as sure as they are made of bacon and +baby flesh!"</p> +<p>The gypsy vouchsafed no reply, but turned on his heel and led +the way into the forest.</p> +<p>After a walk of a hundred yards or more they came to a booth of +boughs, through the loose sides of which could be seen a black +stallion.</p> +<p>"Lead him out," said the doctor imperatively; and the gypsy +obeyed.</p> +<p>The magnificent animal came forth snorting, pawing the ground +and tossing his head in the air.</p> +<p>The eye of the quack kindled, and after regarding the noble +creature for a moment in silent admiration he turned to the gypsy +and said, "Baltasar, do not misunderstand me, I am neither an +officer of the law nor in any other way a minister of justice. I +have as few scruples as you as to how I get a horse; but we differ +from each other in this, that if you were in my place you would +take the horse without giving an equivalent. Now I am a man of +mercy, and if you will ask a fair price you shall have it. But mark +me! Do not overreach yourself and kill the goose that is about to +lay the golden egg."</p> +<p>"Wat muz be, muz be," the gypsy answered, shrugging his +shoulders as if in the presence of an inexorable fate, and added: +"Ze brice iz zwo hunner and viftee dollars, wiz ze mare drown +een."</p> +<p>Putting his pistol back into his pocket with an air of triumph, +the doctor said: "There seems to be persuasive power in cold lead. +Stretch forth your palm and I will cross it for you."</p> +<p>The gypsy did so, and into that tiger-like paw he counted the +golden coin; at the musical clink of each piece the eye of the +gypsy brightened, and when he closed his hand upon them and thrust +them into his pocket his hair-lip curled with a cynical smile.</p> +<p>The stranger took the bridle and saddle from his mare, placed +them on the stallion and mounted.</p> +<p>As they moved forward through the silent forest the gypsy sang +softly to himself:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"The Romany chal to his horse +did cry</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">As he placed the bit in his +jaw,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Kosko gry, Romany +gry,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Muk, man, kuster, tute +knaw."</span></p> +<p>He was still humming this weird tune when they emerged into the +open fields, and there the traveler experienced a surprise.</p> +<p>A little rivulet lay across their path, and up from the margin +of it where she had been gathering water cresses there sprang a +young girl, who cast a startled glance at him, then bounded swiftly +toward the tent and vanished through the opening.</p> +<p>Now it happened that this keen admirer of horses was equally +susceptible to the charms of female beauty, and the loveliness of +this young girl made his blood tingle. In her hand she carried a +bunch of cresses still dripping with the water of the brook. A +black bodice was drawn close to a figure which was just unfolding +into womanhood. The color of this garment formed a striking +contrast to a scarlet skirt which fell only a little below her +knees. On her feet were low-cut shoes, fastened with rude silver +buckles. A red kerchief had become untied and let loose a wave of +black hair, which fell over her half bare shoulders. Her face was +oval, her complexion olive, her eyes large, eager and lustrous.</p> +<p>All this the man who admired women even more than he admired +horses, saw in the single instant before the girl dashed toward the +tent and disappeared. So swift an apparition would have bewildered +rather than illumined the mind of an ordinary man. But the quack +was not an ordinary man. He was endowed with a certain rude power +of divination which enabled him to see in a single instant, by +swift intuition, more than the average man discovers by an hour of +reasoning. By this natural clairvoyance he saw at a glance that +this face of exquisite delicacy could no more have been coined in a +gypsy camp than a fine cameo could be cut in an Indian wigwam. He +knew that all gypsies were thieves, and that these were Spanish +gypsies. What was more natural than that he should conclude with +inevitable logic that this child had been stolen from people of +good if not of noble blood!</p> +<p>He who had coveted the horse with desire, hungered for the +maiden with passion; and with him, to feel an appetite, was to rush +toward its gratification, as fire rushes upon tow.</p> +<p>"Baltasar!" he said.</p> +<p>The gypsy turned.</p> +<p>"You are a girl-thief as well as a horse-thief."</p> +<p>If the gypsy had felt astonished before, he was now terrified in +the presence of a man who seemed to read his inmost thoughts; and +for the first time in his life acknowledged to himself that he had +met his master in cunning.</p> +<p>Bewildered as he was by this new charge, he still remembered +that if speech was silver, silence was golden, and answered not a +word.</p> +<p>"Baltasar," continued the strange man on horseback, rightly +judging from the gypsy's confusion that he had hit the mark and +determining to take another chance shot; "you stole this girl from +the family of a Spanish nobleman. I am the representative of this +family and have followed your trail for years. You thought I had +come to get the horse. You were mistaken; it was the girl!"</p> +<p>"Perdita!" exclaimed the gypsy, taken completely off his +guard.</p> +<p>"Lost indeed," responded the quack, scarcely able to conceal his +pride in his own astuteness. And then he added slowly: "She must be +a burden to you, Baltasar. You evidently never have been able or +never have dared to take her back and claim the ransom which you +expected. I will pay you for her and take her from your hands. It +is the child I want and not vengeance."</p> +<p>"Ze Caballero muz be a Duquende (spirit)," gasped the gypsy.</p> +<p>"At any rate I want the child. You were reasonable about the +horse. Be reasonable about her, and all will be well."</p> +<p>"Ze Caballero muz be made of gol'."</p> +<p>The horseman drew a silver coin from his pocket and flipped it +into the waters of the brook.</p> +<p>The gypsy's face gleamed with avarice and springing into the +water he began to scrape among the stones where it had fallen.</p> +<p>The stranger watched him for awhile with an expression of +mingled amusement and contempt, and finally said: "Baltasar, I am +in haste. You can search for that trifle after I am gone. Let us +finish our business. What will you take for the girl?"</p> +<p>Still standing in the water, which he seemed reluctant to leave, +he shrugged his shoulders and replied: "We muz azk Chicarona. Zhe +eez my vife."</p> +<p>"And master?" asked the quack, smiling sardonically.</p> +<p>The gypsy did not answer, but, stepping from the brook and +looking backward, reluctantly led the way to the tent.</p> +<p>"Chicarona! Chicarona!" he cried as they approached it.</p> +<p>The flap of the tent was thrown suddenly backward, and three +figures emerged—a tall and stately woman, a little elfish +child; and an old hag, wrinkled, toothless and bent with the weight +of unrecorded years. The woman was the mother of the little child +and the daughter of the old hag.</p> +<p>"Chicarona," said the gypsy, "ze Gacho az byed ze ztallion for +zwo hunner an' viftee dollars, an' now he wanz to buy Pepeeta."</p> +<p>"Wad vor?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Berhabs he zinkz zhe eez a prinzez, I dunno," he answered, +digging the toe of his bare foot nervously into the sand.</p> +<p>"Zen dell 'im zat he zhold not look vor ztrawberries in ze zea, +nor red herring in ze wood," she said with a look of scorn.</p> +<p>The eyes of the stranger and the gypsy met. They confronted each +other like two savage beasts who have met on a narrow path and are +about to fight for its possession. It was not an unequal match. The +man's eyes regarded the woman with a proud and masterful +determination. The woman's seemed to burn their way into the inmost +secrets of the man's soul.</p> +<p>Chicarona was a remarkable character. In her majestic +personality, the virtues and the vices of the Spanish Gypsy +fortune-teller were incarnate. The vices were legion; the virtues +were two—the love of kindred, and physical chastity—the +chastity of the soul itself being unknown.</p> +<p>"We are wasting time gazing at each other like two sheep in a +pasture. Will you sell the girl?" the horseman asked, +impatiently.</p> +<p>"I will nod!" she answered, with proud defiance.</p> +<p>"Then I will take her by force!"</p> +<p>"Ah! What could nod ze monkey do, if he were alzo ze lion!"</p> +<p>"I am the lion, and therefore I must have this lamb!"</p> +<p>"Muz? Say muz to ze clouds; to ze winz; to ze lightningz; but +not to Chicarona!"</p> +<p>"If you do not agree to accept a fair offer for this girl, you +will be in jail for kidnapping her in less than one hour!"</p> +<p>At this threat, the brilliant black eyes emitted a shower of +angry sparks, and she exclaimed in derision, "Ze Buzno will dake us +do brizon, ha! ha! ha!"</p> +<p>"Ze Buzno will dake us do brizon, hee! hee! hee!" giggled the +little impish child who tugged at her skirts.</p> +<p>The old woman pressed forward and mumbled, "'Ol' oud your 'an', +my pretty fellow. Crozz ze ol' gypsy's palm, and zhe will dell your +fortune."</p> +<p>With every new refusal, the resolute stranger became still more +determined. "Pearls are not to be had without a plunge," he +murmured to himself, and dismounted.</p> +<p>Throwing the bridle of his horse over the limb of a tree, he +approached the woman with a threatening gesture.</p> +<p>As he did so, the three female figures began to revolve around +him in a circle, pointing their fingers at him and hissing like +vipers. As the old woman passed before his face she threw a handful +of snuff in his eyes—an act which has been, from time +immemorial, the female gypsy's last resort.</p> +<p>Had he been less agile than he was, it would have proved a +finishing stroke, but there are some animals that can never be +caught asleep, or even napping, and he was one. He winked and +dodged, and, quicker than a flash, brought the old crone a sharp +cut across her knuckles with his riding whip.</p> +<p>As he did so, Baltasar sprang at his throat, but he once more +drew his pistol and leveled it at the gypsy's head. His patience +had been exhausted.</p> +<p>"Fool!" he cried, "Bring this woman to reason. This is a wild +country, and a family of gypsies would be missed as little as a +litter of blind puppies! Bring her to reason, I say, or I will +murder every one of you!"</p> +<p>Once more shrugging those expressive shoulders which seemed to +have a language of their own, the gypsy said "Chicarona, you do not +luf ze leedle pindarri. Zell 'er to ze Buzno. Ee eez made of +gol'."</p> +<p>As Baltasar uttered these words, he approached his wife and +whispered something in her ear at which she started. Turning with a +sudden motion to the stranger, she fixed her piercing eyes upon him +and exclaimed, "You zay you know ze parenz of zis chil'?"</p> +<p>"I do."</p> +<p>"You lie!"</p> +<p>"How, then, did I know that you had stolen her?"</p> +<p>"You guezz zat! Any vool gan guezz zat! I zdole 'er, but who I +zdole 'er vrom, you do not know any more zan you know why ze frogs +zdop zinging when ze light zhines."</p> +<p>"Ah! You did steal her, did you? Why do gypsies steal children +when they have so many of their own, and it is so easy to raise +more, Chicarona?"</p> +<p>"Azk ze tiger why it zpringz, or ze lightning why it zdrikes! I +will alzo azk ze Caballero a queztion. What doez he wan' wiz zis +leedle gurrl?"</p> +<p>"To be a father to her!" he answered, with a sly wink at +Baltasar.</p> +<p>"Alzo' I am dressed in wool, I am no sheep! Tell me," she cried, +stamping her foot.</p> +<p>"Why should I tell secrets to one who can read the future?" he +asked banteringly.</p> +<p>Chicarona's mood was changing. It was evident from her looks, +either that she was defeated in the contest by this wily and +resistless combatant or that she had succumbed to the temptation of +his money.</p> +<p>"How much will you gif vor zis chil'?" she asked.</p> +<p>"One hundred dollars," he replied.</p> +<p>"One hunner dollars! You paid more zan twize as much vor ze +horze! Eez nod a woman worth more zan a horze?"</p> +<p>"She will be, when she is a woman. She is a child now."</p> +<p>"Let me zee ze color of your money!"</p> +<p>He drew a leather wallet from his pocket and held it +tantalizingly before her eyes.</p> +<p>Its influence was decisive upon her avaricious soul, and she +clutched at it wildly.</p> +<p>"Put it into my han'!" she cried.</p> +<p>"Put Pepeeta into mine," he said.</p> +<p>"Pepeeta! Pepeeta!" she called.</p> +<p>"Pepeeta! Pepeeta!" shrilled the old crone.</p> +<p>Out of the door of the tent she came, her eyes fixed upon the +ground, and her fingers picking nervously at the tinsel strings +which fastened her bodice.</p> +<p>"Gif me ze money and take her," said Chicarona.</p> +<p>He counted out the gold, and then approached the child. For the +first time in his life he experienced an emotion of reverence. +There was something about her beauty, her helplessness and his +responsibility that made a new appeal to his heart.</p> +<p>Yielding to the gentle pressure of his hand, she permitted +herself to be led away. Not a goodbye was said. Chicarona's feeling +toward her had been fast developing from jealousy into hatred as +the child's beauty began to increase and attract attention. The +others loved her, but dared not show it. Not a sign of regret was +exhibited, except by the old crone, who approached her, gave her a +stealthy caress, and secretly placed a crumpled parchment in her +hand.</p> +<p>The Doctor lifted the child upon the horse's back and climbed +into the saddle. As they turned into the highway, he heard +Chicarona say, "Bring me my pajunda, Baltasar, and I will sing a +grachalpa."</p> +<p>The beautiful child trembled, for the words were those of hatred +and triumph. She trembled, but she also wept. She was parting from +those whose lives were base and cruel; but they were the only human +beings that she knew. She was leaving a wagon and a tent, but it +was the only home that she could remember. In a vague and childish +way, she felt herself to be the sport of mysterious powers, a +little shuttlecock between the battledores of Fortune. Whatever her +destiny was to be, there was no use in struggling, and so she +sobbed softly and yielded to the inevitable. Her little hands were +folded across her heart in an instinctive attitude of submission. +Folded hands are not always resigned hands; but Pepeeta's were. She +submitted thus quietly not because she was weak, but because she +was strong, not because she was contemptible, but because she was +noble. In proportion to the majesty of things, is the completeness +of their obedience to the powers that are above them. Gravitation +is obeyed less quietly by a grain of dust than by the rivers and +planets. Those half-suppressed sobs and hardly restrained sighs +would have softened a harder heart than that of this young man of +thirty years. He was rude and unscrupulous, but he was not unkind. +His breast was the abiding place of all other passions and it was +not strange that the gentlest of all should reside within it, nor +that it should have been so quickly aroused at the sight of such +loveliness and such helplessness.</p> +<p>To have a fellow-being completely in our power makes us either +utterly cruel or utterly kind, and all that was gentle in that +great rough nature went out in a rush of tenderness toward the +little creature who thus suddenly became absolutely dependent upon +his compassion. After they had ridden a little way, he began in his +rough fashion to try to comfort her.</p> +<p>"Don't cry, Pepeeta! You ought to be thankful that you have got +out of the clutches of those villains. You could not have been +worse off, and you may be a great deal better! They were not always +kind to you, were they? I shouldn't wonder if they beat you +sometimes! But you will never be beaten any more. You shall have a +nice little pony, and a cart, and flowers, and pretty clothes, and +everything that little girls like. I don't know what they are, but +whatever they are you shall have them. So don't cry any more! What +a pretty name Pepeeta is! It sounds like music when I say it. I +have got the toughest name in the world myself. It's a regular +jaw-breaker—Doctor Paracelsus Aesculapius! What do you think +of that, Pepeeta! But then you need not call me by the whole of it! +You can just call me Doctor, for short. Now, look at me just once, +and give me a pretty smile. Let me see those big black eyes! No? +You don't want to? Well, that's all right. I won't bother you. But +I want you to know that I love you, and that you are never going to +have any more trouble as long as you live."</p> +<p>These were the kindest words the child had ever had spoken to +her, or at least the kindest she could remember. They fell on her +ears like music and awakened gratitude and love in her heart. She +ceased to sigh, and before the ride to town was ended had begun to +feel a vague sense of happiness.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>The next few years were full of strange adventures for these +singular companions. The quack had discovered certain clues to the +past history of the child whom he had thus adopted, and was firmly +persuaded that she belonged to a noble family. He had made all his +plans to take her to Spain and establish her identity in the hope +of securing a great reward. But just as he was about to execute +this scheme, he was seized by a disease which prostrated him for +many months, and threw him into a nervous condition in which he +contracted the habit of stammering. On his recovery from his long +sickness he found himself stripped of everything he had +accumulated; but his shrewdness and indomitable will remained, and +he soon began to rebuild his shattered fortune.</p> +<p>During all these ups and downs, Pepeeta was his inseparable and +devoted companion. The admiration which her childish beauty excited +in his heart had deepened into affection and finally into love. +When she reached the age of sixteen or seventeen years, he proposed +to her the idea of marriage. She knew nothing of her own heart, and +little about life, but had been accustomed to yield implicit +obedience to his will. She consented and the ceremony was performed +by a Justice of the Peace in the city of Cincinnati, a year or so +before their appearance in the Quaker village. An experience so +abnormal would have perverted, if not destroyed her nature, had it +not contained the germs of beauty and virtue implanted at her +birth. They were still dormant, but not dead; they only awaited the +sun and rain of love to quicken them into life.</p> +<p>The quack had coarsened with the passing years, but Pepeeta, +withdrawing into the sanctuary of her soul, living a life of vague +dreams and half-conscious aspirations after something, she knew not +what, had grown even more gentle and submissive. As she did not yet +comprehend life, she did not protest against its injustice or its +incongruity. The vulgar people among whom she lived, the vulgar +scenes she saw, passed across the mirror of her soul without +leaving permanent impressions. She performed the coarse duties of +her life in a perfunctory manner. It was her body and not her soul, +her will and not her heart which were concerned with them. What +that soul and that heart really were, remained to be seen.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h2> +<h3>THE WOMAN</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am +well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come +in my grace."—Much Ado About Nothing.</p> +</div> +<p>True to his determination, the doctor devoted the night +following his advent into the little frontier village to the +investigation of the Quaker preacher's fitness for his use. He took +Pepeeta with him, the older habitues of the tavern standing on the +porch and smiling ironically as they started.</p> +<p>The meeting house was one of those conventional weather-boarded +buildings with which all travelers in the western states are +familiar. The rays of the tallow candles by which it was lighted +were streaming feebly out into the night. The doors were open, and +through them were passing meek-faced, soft-voiced and plain-robed +worshipers.</p> +<p>The silhouettes of the men's broad hats and the women's poke +bonnets, seen dimly against the pale light of the windows as they +passed, plainly revealed their sect. The similarity of their +garments almost obliterated the personal identity of the +wearers.</p> +<p>The two strangers, so different in manners and dress, joined the +straggling procession which crept slowly along the road and chatted +to each other in undertones.</p> +<p>"What queer people," said Pepeeta.</p> +<p>"Beat the Dutch, and you know who the D-d-dutch beat!"</p> +<p>"What sort of a building is that they are going into?"</p> +<p>"That's a church."</p> +<p>"What is a church for?"</p> +<p>"Ask the marines! Never b-b-been in one more'n once or twice. +G-g-g-guess they use 'em to p-p-pray in. Never pray, so never +go."</p> +<p>"Why have you never taken me?"</p> +<p>"Why should I?"</p> +<p>"We go everywhere else, to theaters, to circuses, to races."</p> +<p>"Some sense in going there. Have f-f-fun!"</p> +<p>"Don't they have any fun in churches?"</p> +<p>"Fun! They think a man who laughs will go straight to the +b-b-bow-wows!"</p> +<p>"What are they for, then, these churches?"</p> +<p>"For religion, I tell you."</p> +<p>"What is religion?"</p> +<p>"Don't you know?"</p> +<p>"No."</p> +<p>"Your education has been n-n-neglected."</p> +<p>"Tell me what it is!"</p> +<p>"D-d-d-don't ask so many questions! It is something for d-d-dead +folks."</p> +<p>"How dark the building looks."</p> +<p>"Like a b-b-barn."</p> +<p>"How solemn the people seem."</p> +<p>"Like h-h-hoot owls."</p> +<p>"It scares me."</p> +<p>"Feel a little b-b-bit shaky myself; but it's too late to +b-b-back out now. I'm going if they roast and eat me. If this +f-f-feller can talk as they say he can, I am going to get hold of +him, d-d-d-dead or alive. I'll have him if it takes a habeas +c-c-corpus."</p> +<p>At this point of the conversation they arrived at the +meeting-house. Keeping close together, Pepeeta light and graceful, +the doctor heavy and awkward, both of them thoroughly embarrassed, +they ascended the steps as a bear and gazelle might have walked the +gang-plank into the ark. They entered unobserved save by a few of +the younger people who were staring vacantly about the room, and +took their seats on the last bench. The Quaker maidens who caught +sight of Pepeeta were visibly excited and began to preen themselves +as turtle doves might have done if a bird of paradise had suddenly +flashed among them. One of them happened to be seated next her. She +was dressed in quiet drabs and grays. Her face and person were +pervaded and adorned by simplicity, meekness, devotion; and the +contrast between the two was so striking as to render them both +self-conscious and uneasy in each other's presence.</p> +<p>The visitors did not know at all what to expect in this +unfamiliar place, but could not have been astonished or awed by +anything else half so much as by the inexplicable silence which +prevailed. If the whole assemblage had been dancing or turning +somersaults, they would not have been surprised, but the few +moments in which they thus sat looking stupidly at the people and +then at each other seemed to them like a small eternity. Pepeeta's +sensitive nature could ill endure such a strain, and she became +nervous.</p> +<p>"Take me away," she imploringly whispered to the doctor, who sat +by her side, ignorant of the custom which separated the sexes.</p> +<p>He tried to encourage her in a few half-suppressed words, took +her trembling hand in his great paw, pressed it reassuringly, +winked humorously, and then looked about him with a sardonic +grin.</p> +<p>To Pepeeta's relief, the silence was at last broken by an old +man who rose from his seat, reverently folded his hands, lifted his +face to heaven, closed his eyes and began to speak. She had never +until this moment listened to a prayer, and this address to an +invisible Being wrought in her already agitated mind a confused and +exciting effect; but the prayer was long, and gave her time to +recover her self-control. The silence which followed its close was +less painful because less strange than the other, and she permitted +herself to glance about the room and to wonder what would happen +next. Her curiosity was soon satisfied. David Corson, the young +mystic, rose to his feet. He was dressed with exquisite neatness in +that simple garb which lends to a noble person a peculiar and +serious dignity. Standing for a moment before he began his address, +he looked over the audience with the self-possession of an +accomplished orator. The attention of every person in the room was +at once arrested. They all recalled their wandering or preoccupied +thoughts, lifted their bowed heads and fixed their eyes upon the +commanding figure before them.</p> +<p>This general movement caused Pepeeta to turn, and she observed a +sudden transformation on the countenance of the dove-like Quaker +maiden. A flush mantled her pale cheek and a radiance beamed in her +mild blue eyes. It was a tell-tale look, and Pepeeta, who divined +its meaning, smiled sympathetically.</p> +<p>But the first word which fell from the lips of the speaker +withdrew her attention from every other object, for his voice +possessed a quality with which she was entirely unfamiliar. It +would have charmed and fascinated the hearer, even if it had +uttered incoherent words. For Pepeeta, it had another and a more +mysterious value. It was the voice of her destiny, and rang in her +soul like a bell. The speech of the young Quaker was a simple and +unadorned message of the love of God to men, and of their power to +respond to the Divine call. The thoughts to which he gave +expression were not original, but simply distillations from the +words of Madam Guyon, Fenelon, Thomas à Kempis and St. John; +and yet they were not mere repetitions, for they were permeated by +the freshness and the beauty of his own pure feelings.</p> +<p>"We are all," said he, "the children of a loving Father whom the +heaven of heavens cannot contain, who yet dwells in every contrite +human heart as the light of the great sun reproduces itself in +every drop of dew. To have God dwell thus in the soul is to enjoy +perfect peace. This life is a life of bitterness to those who +struggle against God, a world of sorrow to those who doubt Him, and +of darkness to those who refuse His sweet illumination. But the +sorrow and the struggle end, and the darkness becomes the dawn to +every one who loves and trusts the heavenly Father, for He bestows +upon all a Divine gift. This gift is the 'inner light,' the light +which shines within the soul itself and sheds its rays upon the +dark pathway of existence. This God of love is not far from every +one of us and we may all know Him. He is to be loved, not hated; +trusted, not feared! Why should men tremble at the consciousness of +His presence? Does the little sparrow in its nest feel any fear +when it hears the flutter of its parent's wings? Does the child +shudder at its mother's approaching footsteps?" As he uttered these +words, he paused and awaited an answer.</p> +<p>Each sentence had fallen into the sensitive soul of the Fortune +Teller like a pebble into a deep well. She was gazing at him in +astonishment. Her lips were parted, her eyes were suffused and she +was leaning forward breathlessly.</p> +<p>"If we would live bravely, hopefully, tranquilly," he continued, +"we must be conscious of the presence of God. If we believe with +all our hearts that He knows our inmost thoughts, we shall +experience comfort beyond words. This life of peace, of aspiration, +of communion, is possible to all. The evil in us may be overthrown. +We may reproduce the life of Christ on earth. We may become as He +was—one with God. As the little water drop poured into a +large measure of wine seems to lose its own nature entirely and +take on the nature and the color of both the water and the wine; or +as air filled with sunlight is transformed into the same brightness +so that it does not appear to be illuminated by another light so +much as to be luminous of itself; so must all feeling toward the +Holy One be self-dissolved and wholly transformed into the will of +God. For how shall God be all in all, if anything of man remains in +man?"</p> +<p>In words and images like these the young mystic poured forth his +soul. There were no flights of oratory, and only occasional bursts +of anything that could be called eloquence. But in an inexplicable +manner it moved the heart to tenderness and thrilled the deepest +feelings of the soul. Much of the effect on those who understood +him was due to the truths he uttered; but even those who, like the +two strangers, were unfamiliar with the ideas advanced, or +indifferent to them, could not escape that nameless influence with +which all true orators are endowed, and were thrilled by what he +said. In our ignorance we have called this influence by the name of +"magnetism." Whatever it may be, this young man possessed it in a +very high degree, and when to it was added his personal beauty, his +sincerity, and his earnestness, it became almost omnipotent over +the emotions, if not over the reason. It enslaved Pepeeta +completely.</p> +<p>It was impossible that in so small a room a speaker should be +unconscious of the presence of strangers. David had noticed them at +once, and his glance, after roaming about the room, invariably +returned and fixed itself upon the face of the Fortune Teller. +Their fascination was mutual. They were so drawn to each other by +some inscrutable power, that it would not have been hard to believe +that they had existed as companions in some previous state of +being, and had now met and vaguely remembered each other.</p> +<p>When at length David stopped speaking, it seemed to Pepeeta as +if a sudden end had come to everything; as if rivers had ceased to +run and stars to rise and set. She drew a long, deep breath, sighed +and sank back in her seat, exhausted by the nervous tension to +which she had been subjected.</p> +<p>The effect upon the quack was hardly less remarkable. He, too, +had listened with breathless attention. He tried to analyze and +then to resist this mesmeric power, but gradually succumbed. He +felt as if chained to his seat, and it was only by a great effort +that he pulled himself together, took Pepeeta by the arm and drew +her out into the open air.</p> +<p>For a few moments they walked in silence, and then the doctor +exclaimed: "P-p-peeta, I have found him at last!"</p> +<p>"Found whom?" she asked sharply, irritated by the voice which +offered such a rasping contrast to the one still echoing in her +ears.</p> +<p>"Found whom? As if you didn't know! I mean the man of +d-d-destiny! He is a snake charmer, Pepeeta! He just fairly +b-b-bamboozled you! I was laughing in my sleeve and saying to +myself, 'He's bamboozled Pepeeta; but he can't b-b-bamboozle me!' +When he up and did it! Tee-totally did it! And if he can bamboozle +me, he can bamboozle anybody."</p> +<p>"Did you understand what he said?" Pepeeta asked.</p> +<p>"Understand? Well, I should say not! The d-d-devil himself +couldn't make head nor tail out of it. But between you and me and +the town p-p-pump it's all the better, for if he can fool the +people with that kind of g-g-gibberish, he can certainly f-f-fool +them with the Balm of the B-B-Blessed Islands! First time I was +ever b-b-bamboozled in my life. Feels queer. Our fortune's made, +P-p-pepeeta!"</p> +<p>His triumph and excitement were so great that he did not notice +the silence and abstraction of his wife. His ardent mind invariably +excavated a channel into which it poured its thoughts, digging its +bed so deep as to flow on unconscious of everything else. Exulting +in the prospect of attaching to himself a companion so gifted, +never doubting for a moment that he could do so, reveling in the +dreams of wealth to be gathered from the increased sales of his +patent medicine, he entered the hotel and made straight for the +bar-room, where he told his story with the most unbounded +delight.</p> +<p>Pepeeta retired at once to her room, but her mind was too much +excited and her heart too much agitated for slumber. She moved +restlessly about for a long time and then sat down at the open +window and looked into the night. For the first time in her life, +the mystery of existence really dawned upon her. She gazed with a +new awe at the starry sky. She thought of that Being of whom David +had spoken. Questions which had never before occurred to her +knocked at the door of her mind and imperatively demanded an +answer. "Who am I? Whence did I come? For what was I created? +Whither am I going?" she asked herself again and again with +profound astonishment at the newness of these questions and her +inability to answer them.</p> +<p>For a long time she sat in the light of the moon, and reflected +on these mysteries with all the power of her untutored mind. But +that power was soon exhausted, and vague, chaotic, abstract +conceptions gave place to a definite image which had been eternally +impressed upon her inward eyes. It was the figure of the young +Quaker, idealized by the imagination of an ardent and emotional +woman whose heart had been thrilled for the first time.</p> +<p>She began timidly to ask herself what was the meaning of those +feelings which this stranger had awakened in her bosom. She knew +that they were different from those which her husband inspired; but +how different, she did not know. They filled her with a sort of +ecstasy, and she gave herself up to them. Exhausted at last by +these vivid thoughts and emotions, she rested her head upon her +arms across the window sill and fell asleep. It must have been that +the young Quaker followed her into the land of dreams, for when her +husband aroused her at midnight a faint flush could be seen by the +light of the moon on those rounded cheeks.</p> +<p>There are all the elements of a tragedy in the heart of a woman +who has never felt the emotions of religion or of love until she is +married!</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h2> +<h3>THE LIGHT THAT LIES</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Oh! why did God create at +last</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">This novelty on earth, this fair +defect</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Of nature, and not till the world +at once</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">With men as angels, without +feminine?"</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Paradise Lost.</span></p> +<p>On the following morning the preacher-plowman was afield at +break of day. The horses, refreshed and rested by food and sleep, +dragged the gleaming plowshare through the heavy sod as if it were +light snow, and the farmer exulted behind them.</p> +<p>That universal life which coursed through all the various forms +of being around him, bounded in tides through his own veins. The +fresh morning air, the tender light of dawning day, the odors of +plants and songs of birds, filled his sensitive soul with +unutterable delight.</p> +<p>In the midst of all these beauties and wonders, he existed +without self-consciousness and labored without effort. His heart +was pure and his oneness with the natural world was complete. +Whatever was beautiful and gentle in the manifold operations of the +Divine Spirit in the world around him, he saw and felt. To all that +was horrible and ferocious, he was blind as a child in Paradise. He +did not notice the hawk sweeping upon the dove, the swallow darting +upon the moth, nor the lizard lying in wait for the fly; or, if he +did, he saw them only as he saw the shadows flitting across the +sunny landscape. His soul was like a garden full of light, life, +perfume, color and the music of singing birds and whispering +leaves. Before his inward eye the familiar figures of his daily +life passed and repassed, but among them was also a new one. It was +the figure that had arrested his attention and inspired him the +night before.</p> +<p>For hours he followed the plow without the consciousness of +fatigue, but at length he paused to rest the horses, who were +beginning to pant with their hard labor. He threw back his head, +drew in deep inspirations of pure air, glanced about and felt the +full tide of the simple joy of existence roll over him. Life had +never seemed sweeter than in those few moments in which he quaffed +the brimming cup of youth and health which nature held to his lips. +Not a fear, not an apprehension of any danger crossed his soul. His +glances roved here and there, pausing a moment in their flight like +hummingbirds, to sip the sweetness from some unusually beautiful +cloud or tree or flower, when he suddenly caught sight of a curious +equipage flying swiftly down the road at the other side of the +field. The spirited horses stopped. A man rose from the seat, put +his hands to his mouth like a trumpet, uttered a loud "hallo," and +beckoned.</p> +<p>David tied the reins to the plow handles and strode across the +fresh furrows. Vaulting the fence and leaping the brook which +formed the boundary line of the farm, he ascended the bank and +approached the carriage. As he did so the occupants got out and +came to meet him. To his astonishment he saw the strangers whom he +had noticed the night before. The man advanced with a bold, free +demeanor, the woman timidly and with downcast eyes.</p> +<p>"Good morning," said the doctor.</p> +<p>David returned his greeting with the customary dignity of the +Quakers.</p> +<p>"My name is Dr. Aesculapius."</p> +<p>"Thee is welcome."</p> +<p>"I was over to the m-m-meeting house last night, and heard your +s-s-speech. Didn't understand a w-w-word, but saw that you c-c-can +talk like a United States Senator."</p> +<p>David bowed and blushed.</p> +<p>"I came over to make you a p-p-proposition. Want you to yoke up +with me, and help me sell the 'B-B-Balm of the Blessed Islands.' +You can do the t-t-talking and I'll run the b-b-business; see?"</p> +<p>He put his thumbs in the armholes of his vest, spread his feet +apart, squared himself and smiled like a king who had offered his +throne to a beggar.</p> +<p>David regarded him with a look of astonishment.</p> +<p>"What do you s-s-say?"</p> +<p>Gravely, placidly, the young Quaker answered: "I thank thee, +friend, for what thee evidently means as a kindness, but I must +decline thy offer."</p> +<p>"Decline my offer? Are you c-c-crazy? Why do you d-d-decline my +offer?"</p> +<p>"Because I have no wish to leave my home and work."</p> +<p>Although his answer was addressed to the man, his eyes were +directed to the woman. His reply, simple and natural enough, +astounded the quack.</p> +<p>"What!" he exclaimed. "Do you mean that you p-p-prefer to stay +in this p-p-pigstye of a town to becoming a citizen of the +g-g-great world?"</p> +<p>"I do."</p> +<p>"But listen; I will pay you more money in a single month than +you can earn by d-d-driving your plow through that b-b-black mud +for a whole year."</p> +<p>"I have no need and no desire for more money than I can earn by +daily toil."</p> +<p>"No need and no desire for money! B-b-bah! You are not talking +to sniveling old women and crack-b-b-brained old men; but to a +f-f-feller who can see through a two-inch plank, and you can't +p-p-pass off any of your religious d-d-drivel on him, either."</p> +<p>This coarse insult went straight to the soul of the youth. His +blood tingled in his veins. There was a tightening around his heart +of something which was out of place in the bosom of a Quaker. A hot +reply sprang to his lips, but died away as he glanced at the woman, +and saw her face mantled with an angry flush.</p> +<p>Calmed by her silent sympathy, he quietly replied: "Friend, I +have no desire to annoy thee, but I have been taught that 'the love +of money is the root of all evil,' and believing as I do I could +not answer thee otherwise than I did."</p> +<p>It was evident from the look upon the countenance of the quack +that he had met with a new and incomprehensible type of manhood. He +gazed at the Quaker a moment in silence and then exclaimed, "Young +man, you may mean what you say, b-b-but you have been most +infernally abused by the p-p-people who have put such notions in +your head, for there is only one substantial and abiding g-g-good +on earth, and that is money. Money is power, money is happiness, +money is God; get money! get it anywhere! get it anyhow, but +g-g-get it."</p> +<p>Instead of mere resentment for a personal insult, David now felt +a tide of righteous indignation rising in his soul at this scorn +and denial of those eternal principles of truth and duty which he +felt to be the very foundations of the moral universe.</p> +<p>"Sir," said he, with the voice and mien of an apostle, "I +perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness and the bonds of +iniquity. Thy money perish with thee. The God of this world hath +blinded thine eyes."</p> +<p>The quack, who now began to take a humorous view of the +innocence of the youth, burst into a boisterous guffaw.</p> +<p>"Well, well," he said in mingled scorn and pity, "reckon you are +more to be pitied than b-b-blamed. Fault of early education! Talk +like a p-p-parrot! What can a young fellow like you know about +life, shut up here in this seven-by-nine valley, like a man in a +b-b-barrel looking out of the b-b-bung-hole?"</p> +<p>Offended and disgusted, the Quaker was about to turn upon his +heel; but he saw in the face of the man's beautiful companion a +look which said plainly as spoken words, "I, too, desire that you +should go with us."</p> +<p>This look changed his purpose, and he paused.</p> +<p>"Listen to me now," continued the doctor, observing his +irresolution. "You think you know what life is; but you d-d-don't! +Do you know what g-g-great cities are? Do you know what it is to +m-m-mix with crowds of men, to feel and perhaps to sway their +p-p-passions? Do you know what it is to p-p-possess and to spend +that money which you d-d-despise? Do you know what it is to wear +fine clothes, to d-d-drink rare wines, to see great sights, to go +where you want to and to do what you p-p-please?"</p> +<p>"I do not, nor do I wish to. And thee must abandon these follies +and sins, if thee would enter the Kingdom of God," David replied, +fixing his eyes sternly upon the face of the blasphemer.</p> +<p>"God! Ha, ha, ha! Who is He, anyhow? Same old story! Fools that +can't enjoy life, d-d-don't want any one else to! Ever hear 'bout +the fox that got his tail b-b-bit off? Wanted all the rest to have +theirs! What the d-d-deuce are we here in this world for? T-t-tell +me that, p-p-parson!"</p> +<p>"To do the will of our Father which is in heaven."</p> +<p>"To do the will of our Father in heaven! I know but one will, +and it is the w-w-will of Doctor P-p-paracelsus Aesculapius. I'm my +own lord and law, I am."</p> +<p>"Know thou that for all thy idle words, God will bring thee to +judgment?" David answered solemnly.</p> +<p>"Rot!" muttered the doctor, disgusted beyond endurance, and +concluding the interview with the cynical farewell,</p> +<p>"Good-bye, d-d-dead man! I have always hated c-c-corpses! I am +going where men have red b-b-blood in their veins."</p> +<p>With these words he turned on his heel and started toward the +carriage, leaving David and Pepeeta alone. Neither of them moved. +The gypsy nervously plucked the petals from a daisy and the Quaker +gazed at her face. During these few moments nature had not been +idle. In air and earth and tree top, following blind instincts, her +myriad children were seeking their mates. And here, in the odorous +sunshine of the May morning, these two young, impressionable and +ardent beings, yielding themselves unconsciously to the same +mysterious attraction which was uniting other happy couples, were +drawn together in a union which time could not dissolve and +eternity, perhaps, cannot annul.</p> +<p>Having stalked indignantly onward for a few paces, the doctor +discovered that his wife had not followed him, and turning he +called savagely: "Pepeeta, come! It is folly to try and +p-p-persuade him. Let us leave the saint to his prayers! But let +him remember the old p-p-proverb, 'young saint, old sinner!' +Come!"</p> +<p>He proceeded towards the carriage; but Pepeeta seemed rooted to +the ground, and David was equally incapable of motion. While they +stood thus, gazing into each other's eyes, they saw nothing and +they saw all. That brief glance was freighted with destiny. A +subtle communication had taken place between them, although they +had not spoken; for the eye has a language of its own.</p> +<p>What was the meaning of that glance? What was the emotion that +gave it birth in the soul? He knew! It told its own story. To their +dying day, the actors in that silent drama remembered that glance +with rapture and with pain.</p> +<p>Pepeeta spoke first, hurriedly and anxiously: "What did you say +last night about the 'light of life?' Tell me! I must know."</p> +<p>"I said there is a light that lighteth every man that cometh +into the world."</p> +<p>"And what did you mean? Be quick. There is only a moment."</p> +<p>"I meant that there is a light that shines from the soul itself +and that in this light we may walk, and he who walks in it, walks +safely. He need never fall!"</p> +<p>"Never? I do not understand; it is beautiful; but I do not +understand!"</p> +<p>"Pepeeta!" called her husband, angrily.</p> +<p>She turned away, and David watched her gliding out of his sight, +with an irrepressible pain and longing. "I suppose she is his +daughter," he said to himself, and upon that natural but mistaken +inference his whole destiny turned. Something seemed to draw him +after her. He took a step or two, halted, sighed and returned to +his labor.</p> +<p>But it was to a strangely altered world that he went. Its glory +had vanished; it was desolate and empty, or so at least it seemed +to him, for he confounded the outer and the inner worlds, as it was +his nature and habit to do. It was in his soul that the change had +taken place. The face of a bad man and of an incomprehensible woman +followed him through the long furrows until the sun went down. He +was vaguely conscious that he had for the first time actually +encountered those strenuous elements which draw manhood from its +moorings. He felt humiliated by the recognition that he was living +a dream life there in his happy valley; and that there was a life +outside which he could not master so easily. That confidence in his +strength and incorruptibility which he had always felt began to +waver a little. His innocence appeared to him like that of the +great first father in the garden of Eden, before his temptation, +and now that he too had listened to the voice of the serpent and +had for the first time been stirred at the description of the +sweetness of the great tree's fruit, there came to him a feeling of +foreboding as to the future. He was astonished that such characters +as those he had just seen did not excite in him loathing and +repulsion. Why could he not put them instantly and forever out of +his mind? How could they possess any attractiveness for him at +all—such a blatant, vulgar man or such an ignorant, ah! but +beautiful, woman; for she was beautiful! Yes—beautiful but +bad! But no—such a beautiful woman could not be bad. See how +interested she was about the "inner light." She must be very +ignorant; but she was very attractive. What eyes! What lips!</p> +<p>Thoughts which he had always been able to expel from his mind +before, like evil birds fluttered again and again into the windows +of his soul. For this he upbraided himself; but only to discover +that at the very moment when he regretted that he had been tempted +at all, he also regretted that he had not been tempted further.</p> +<p>All day long his agitated spirit alternated between remorse that +he had enjoyed so much, and regret that he had enjoyed so little. +Never had he experienced such a tumult in his soul. He struggled +hard, but he could not tell whether he had conquered or been +defeated.</p> +<p>It was not until he had retired to his room at night and thrown +himself upon his knees, that he began to regain peace. There, in +the stillness of his chamber, he strove for the control of his +thoughts and emotions, and fell asleep after long and prayerful +struggles, with the sweet consciousness of a spiritual triumph!</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h2> +<h3>THE TRAIL OF THE SERPENT</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Every man living shall assuredly meet with an hour of +temptation, a critical hour which shall more especially try what +metal his heart is made of"—South.</p> +</div> +<p>It was long after he had awakened in the morning before the +memory of the adventure of yesterday recurred to David's mind. His +sleep had been as deep as that of an infant, and his rest in the +great ocean of oblivion had purified him, so that when he did at +last recall the experience which had affected him so deeply, it was +with indifference. The charm had vanished. Even the gypsy's beauty +paled in the light of the Holy Sabbath morning. He could think of +her with entire calmness, and so thoroughly had the evil vanished +that he hoped it had disappeared forever. But he had yet to learn +that before evil can be successfully forgotten it must be +heroically overcome.</p> +<p>He did not yet realize this, however, and his bath, his morning +prayer, a passage from the gospel, the hearty breakfast, the kind +and trustful faces of his family, dispelled the last cloud from the +sky of his soul. Having finished the round of morning duties, he +made himself ready to visit the lumber camp, there to discharge the +sacred duty revealed to him in the vision.</p> +<p>The confidence reposed by the genuine Quaker in such intimations +of the Spirit is absolute. They are to him as imperative as the +audible voice of God to Moses by the burning bush.</p> +<p>"Farewell, mother, I am off," he said, kissing her upon the +white forehead.</p> +<p>"Thee is going to the lumber camp, my son?" she asked, regarding +him with ill-concealed pride.</p> +<p>"I am, and hope to press the truth home to the hearts of those +who shall hear me," replied the young devotee, his face lighting up +with the blended rapture of religious enthusiasm, youth and +health.</p> +<p>"The Lord be with thee and make thy ministrations fruitful," his +mother said, and with this blessing he set off.</p> +<p>As the young mystic had yesterday thought the world dark and +stormy because of the tempest in his soul, so now he thought it +still and peaceful, because of his inward calm. The very intensity +of his recent struggles had rendered his soul acutely sensitive, +like a delicate musical instrument which responded freely to the +innumerable fingers wherewith Nature struck its keys. Her manifold +forms, her gorgeous colors, her gigantic forces thrilled and +intoxicated him.</p> +<p>That sense of fellowship with all the forms of life about him, +which is characteristic of all our moments of deepest rapture in +the embrace of Nature, filled his soul with joy. He accosted the +trees as one greets a friend; he chatted with the brooks; he held +conversation with the little lambs skipping in the pastures, and +with the horses that whinnied as he passed.</p> +<p>Such opulent moments come to all in youth; moments when the +soul, unconscious of its chains because they have not been +stretched to their limits, roams the universe with God-like liberty +and joy.</p> +<p>Had he been asked to analyze these exquisite emotions, the young +Quaker would have said that they were the joys of the indwelling of +the Divine Spirit. He did not realize how much of his exhilaration +came from the feelings awakened by the experiences of the day +before. One might almost say that a spiritual fragrance from the +woman who had crossed his path was diffusing itself through the +chambers of his soul. It was like the odor of violets which lingers +after the flowers themselves are gone.</p> +<p>Up to this time, he had never felt the mighty and mysterious +emotion of love. More than once, when he had seen the calm face of +Dorothy Fraser, soft and tender feelings had arisen in his heart; +but they were only the first faint gleams of that conflagration +which sooner or later breaks forth in the souls of men like +him.</p> +<p>It was this confusion of the sources of his happiness which made +him oblivious to the struggle that was still going on within his +mind. The question had been raised there as to whether he had +chosen wisely in turning his back upon the joys of an earthly life +for the joys of heaven. It had not been settled, and was waiting an +opportunity to thrust itself again before his consciousness. In the +meantime he was happy. Never had he seemed to himself more +perfectly possessed by the Divine Spirit than at the moment when he +reached the summit of the last hill, and looked down into the +valley where lay the lumber-camp. He paused to gaze upon a scene of +surpassing loveliness, and was for a moment absorbed by its beauty; +but a sudden discovery startled and disturbed him. There was no +smoke curling from the chimneys. There were no forms of men moving +about in their brilliant woolen shirts; he listened in vain for +voices; he could not even hear the yelp of the ever-watchful +dogs.</p> +<p>"Can it be possible that I have been deceived by my vision?" he +asked himself.</p> +<p>It was the first real skepticism of his life, and crowding it +back into his heart as best he could, he pressed on, excited and +curious. As he approached the rude structure, the signs of its +desertion became indubitable. He called, but heard only the echo of +his own voice. He tried the door, and it opened. Through it he +entered the low-ceiled room. On every hand were evidences of recent +departure; living coals still glowed in the ashes and crumbs were +scattered on the tables. There could be no longer any doubt that +the lumbermen had vanished. The last and most incontrovertible +proof was tacked upon the wall in the shape of a flat piece of +board on which were written in a rude scrawl these words: "We have +gone to the Big Miami."</p> +<p>The face so bright and clear a moment ago was clouded now. He +read the sentence over and over again. He sat down upon a bench and +meditated, then rose and went out, walking around the cabin and +returning to read the message once more. If he had spoken the real +sentiment of his heart he would have said: "I have been deceived." +He did not speak, however, but struggled bravely to throw off the +feelings of surprise and doubt; and so, reassuring his faith again +and again by really noble efforts, took from his pocket the lunch +his mother had prepared, and ate it hungrily although abstractedly. +As he did so, he felt the animal joy in food and rest, and his +courage and confidence revived.</p> +<p>"It is plain," he said to himself, "that God has sent me here to +try my faith. All he requires is obedience! It is not necessary +that I should understand; but it is necessary that I should +obey!"</p> +<p>The idea of a probation so unique was not distasteful to his +romantic nature, and he therefore at once addressed himself to the +business upon which he had come. He had been sent to preach, and +preach he would. Drawing from the inner pocket of his coat a +well-worn Bible, he turned to the fourteenth chapter of the Gospel +of Saint John, rose to his feet and began to read. It was strange +to be reading to this emptiness and silence, but after a moment he +adjusted himself to the situation. The earnest effort he was making +to control his mind achieved at least a partial success. His face +brightened, he conjured up before his imagination the forms and +faces of the absent men. He saw them with the eye of his mind. His +voice grew firm and clear, and its tones reassured him.</p> +<p>Having finished the lesson, he closed the volume and began to +pray. Now that his eyes were shut, the strangeness of the situation +vanished entirely. He was no longer alone, for God was with him. +The petition was full of devotion, tenderness and faith, and as he +poured it forth his countenance beamed like that of an angel. When +it was finished he began the sermon. The first few words were +scarcely audible. The thoughts were disconnected and fragmentary. +He suffered an unfamiliar and painful embarrassment, but struggled +on, and his thoughts cleared themselves like a brook by flowing. +Each effort resulted in a greater facility of utterance, and soon +the joy of triumph began to inspire him. The old confidence +returned at last and his soul, filled with faith and hope and +fervor, poured itself forth in a full torrent. He began to be awed +by the conjecture that his errand had some extraordinary although +hidden import. Who could tell what mission these words were to +accomplish in the plans of God? He remembered that the waves made +by the smallest pebble flung into the ocean widen and widen until +they touch the farthest shore, and he flung the pebbles of his +speech into the great ocean of thought, transported by the hope of +sometime learning that their waves had beat upon the shores of a +distant universe.</p> +<p>Suddenly, in the midst of this tumultuous rush of speech, he +heard, or thought he heard, a sound. It seemed to him like a sob +and there followed stumbling footsteps as of some one in hurried +flight, but he was too absorbed to be more than dimly conscious of +anything save his own emotions.</p> +<p>And yet, slight as was this interruption, it served to agitate +his mind and bring him down from the realms of imagination to the +world of reality. His thoughts began to flow less easily and his +tongue occasionally to stammer; the strangeness of his experience +came back upon him with redoubled force; the chill influence of +vacancy and emptiness oppressed him; his enthusiasm waned; what he +was doing began to seem foolish and even silly.</p> +<p>Just at that critical moment there occurred one of those +trifling incidents which so often produce results ridiculously +disproportionate to their apparent importance. Through the open +door to which his back was turned, a little snake had made its way +into the room, and having writhed silently across the floor, coiled +itself upon the hearth-stone, faced the speaker, looked solemnly at +him with its beady eyes, and occasionally thrust out its forked +tongue as if in relish of his words.</p> +<p>That fixed and inscrutable gaze completed the confusion of the +orator. He suddenly ceased to speak, and stood staring at the +serpent. His face became impassive and expressionless; the pupils +of his eyes dilated; his lips remained apart; the last word seemed +frozen on his tongue. Not a shade of thought could be traced on his +countenance and yet he must have been thinking, for he suddenly +collapsed, sank down on a rude bench and rested his head on his +hands as if he had come to some disagreeable, and perhaps terrible +conclusion. And so indeed he had. The uneasy suspicions which had +been floating in his mind in a state of solution were suddenly +crystallized by this untoward event. The absurdity of a man's +having tramped twenty miles through an almost unbroken wilderness +to preach the gospel to a garter snake, burst upon him with a +crushing force. This grotesque denouement of an undertaking planned +and executed in the loftiest frame of religious enthusiasm, shook +the very foundation of his faith.</p> +<p>"It is absurd, it is impossible, that an infinite Spirit of love +and wisdom could have planned this repulsive adventure! I have been +misled! I am the victim of a delusion!" he said to himself, in +shame and bitterness.</p> +<p>To him, Christianity had been not so much a system of doctrines +based upon historical proofs, as emotions springing from his own +heart. He believed in another world not because its existence had +been testified to by others, but because he daily and hourly +entered its sacred precincts. He had faith in God, not because He +had spoken to apostles and prophets, but because He had spoken to +David Corson. Having received direct communication from the Divine +Spirit, how could he doubt? What other proof could he need?</p> +<p>Suddenly, without warning and without preparation, the +foundation upon which he had erected the superstructure of his +faith crumbled and fell. He had been deceived! The communications +were false! They had originated in his own soul, and were not +really the voice of God.</p> +<p>Through this suspicion, as through a suddenly-opened door, the +powers of hell rushed into his soul and it became the theater of a +desperate battle between the good and evil elements of life. Doubt +grappled with faith; self-gratification with self-restraint; +despair with hope; lust with purity; body with soul.</p> +<p>He heard again the mocking laughter of the quack, and the +stinging words of his cynical philosophy once more rang in his +ears. What this coarse wretch had said was true, then! Religion was +a delusion, and he had been spending the best portion of his life +in hugging it to his bosom. Much of his youth had already passed +and he had not as yet tasted the only substantial joys of +existence,—money, pleasure, ambition, love! He felt that he +had been deceived and defrauded.</p> +<p>A contempt for his old life and its surroundings crept upon him. +He began to despise the simple country people among whom he had +grown up, and those provincial ideas which they cherished in the +little, unknown nook of the world where they stagnated.</p> +<p>During a long time he permitted himself to be borne upon the +current of these thoughts without trying to stem it, till it seemed +as if he would be swept completely from his moorings. But his trust +had been firmly anchored, and did not easily let go its hold. The +convictions of a lifetime began to reassert themselves. They rose +and struggled heroically for the possession of his spirit.</p> +<p>Had the battle been with the simple abstraction of philosophic +doubt, the good might have prevailed, but there obtruded itself +into the field the concrete form of the gypsy. The glance of her +lustrous eye, the gleam of her milk-white teeth, the heaving of her +agitated bosom, the inscrutable but suggestive expression of her +flushed and eager face, these were foes against which he struggled +in vain. A feverish desire, whose true significance he did not +altogether understand, tugged at his heart, and he felt himself +drawn by unseen hands toward this mysterious and beautiful being. +She seemed to him at that awful moment, when his whole world of +thought and feeling was slipping from under his feet, the one only +abiding reality. She at least was not an impalpable vision, but +solid, substantial, palpitating flesh and blood. Like continuously +advancing waves which sooner or later must undermine a dyke, the +passions and suspicions of his newly awakened nature were sapping +the foundations of his belief.</p> +<p>At intervals he gained a little courage to withstand them, and +at such moments tried to pray; but the effort was futile, for +neither would the accustomed syllables of petition spring to his +lips, nor the feelings of faith and devotion arise within his +heart. He strove to convince himself that this experience was a +trial of his faith, and that if he stood out a little longer, his +doubt would pass away. He lifted his head and glanced at the +serpent still coiled upon the hearth. Its eyes were fixed upon him +in a gorgon-like stare, and his doubts became positive certainties, +as disgust became loathing. The battle had ended. The mystic had +been defeated. This sudden collapse had come because the +foundations of his faith had been honeycombed. The innocent serpent +had been, not the cause, but the occasion.</p> +<p>Influences had been at work, of which the Quaker had remained +unconscious. He had been observing, without reflecting upon, many +facts in the lives of other men, experiences in his own heart, and +apparent inconsistencies in the Bible. There was also a virus whose +existence he did not suspect running in his very blood! And now on +top of the rest came the bold skepticism of the quack, and the +bewildering beauty of the gypsy.</p> +<p>Yes, the preliminary work had been done! We never know how +rotten the tree is until it falls, nor how unstable the wall until +it crumbles. And so in the moral natures of men, subtle forces eat +their way silently and imperceptibly to the very center.</p> +<p>A summer breeze overthrows the tree, the foot of a child sets +the wall tottering; a whisper, a smile, even the sight of a +serpent, is the jar that upsets the equilibrium of a soul.</p> +<p>The Quaker rose from his seat in a fever of excitement. He +seized the Bible lying open on the table, hurled it frantically at +the snake and flung himself out of the open door into the sunshine. +A wild consciousness of liberty surged over him.</p> +<p>"I am free," he exclaimed aloud. "I have emancipated myself from +superstition. I am going forth into the world to assert myself, to +gratify my natural appetites, to satisfy my normal desires. It was +for this that life was given. I have too long believed that duty +consisted in conquering nature. I now see that it lies in asserting +it. I have too long denied myself. I will hereafter be myself. That +man was right—there is no law above the human will."</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h2> +<h3>THE CHANCE WORD</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"A man reforms his habits +altogether or not at all."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 26em;">—Bacon.</span></p> +<p>David was not mistaken in his vague impression that he had heard +a sob and footsteps outside the cabin door.</p> +<p>The little band of lumbermen abandoning their camp in the early +light of the morning for another clearing still farther in the +wilderness, had already covered several miles of their journey when +their leader suddenly discovered that he had forgotten his axe, and +with a wild volley of oaths turned back to get it.</p> +<p>Even in that region, where new types of men sprang up like new +varieties of plants after a fire has swept over a clearing, there +was not to be found a more unique and striking personality than +Andy McFarlane. In physique he was of gigantic proportions, his +hair and beard as red as fire, his voice loud and deep, his eyes +blue and piercing. Clad in the gay-colored woolen shirt, the rough +fur cap, and the high-topped boots of a lumberman, his appearance +was bold and picturesque to the last degree.</p> +<p>Nor were his mental powers inferior to his physical. Although +unable to read or write, he could both reason and command. His keen +perceptions, his ready wit, his forcible logic and his invincible +will had made him a leader among men and the idol of the rude +people among whom he passed his days.</p> +<p>Repelled and disgusted with those manifestations of the +religious life with which alone he was familiar, he was still an +unconscious worshiper. The woods, the hills, the rivers and the +stars awoke within him a response to the beautiful, the sublime and +awe-inspiring in the natural universe.</p> +<p>But because of ignorance, the mysteries of existence which ought +to have made him devout had only rendered him superstitious, +though, all unknown to himself, his bosom was full of inflammable +materials of a deeply religious life. A spark fell upon them that +Sunday morning and kindled them into a conflagration. Nothing else +can so enrage a nature like his as having to retrace its steps. He +could have walked a hundred miles straight forward without a +feeling of fatigue or a sense of hardship; but every backward step +of his journey had put him more out of temper. He reached the +clearing in a towering passion and was bewildered at hearing in +what he supposed to be a deserted room, the sound of a human voice +in whose tones there was a peculiar quality which aroused his +interest and perhaps excited his superstition. He crept toward the +rude cabin on his tiptoes, paused and listened. What he heard was +the voice of the young mystic, pouring out his heart in prayer.</p> +<p>For the first time in his life McFarlane gave serious attention +to a petition addressed to the Supreme Being. Other prayers had +disgusted him because of their vulgar familiarity with the Deity, +or repelled him by their hypocrisy; but there was something so +sincere and simple in the childlike words which issued from the +cabin as to quicken his soul and turn his thoughts upon the +mysteries of existence. He had received the gift of life as do the +eagles and the lions—without surprise. Had any one asked him: +"Andy McFarlane, what is life?" he would have answered: "Life? Why +it is just life."</p> +<p>But suddenly a voice, heard in the quiet of a wilderness, a +voice full of tenderness and pathos, issuing from unknown and +invisible lips and ascending into the vast and illimitable spaces +of air, threw wide open the gates of mystery. His heart was +instantly emptied of its passions; his soul grew calm and his whole +nature became as impressionable as wax.</p> +<p>When at length the prayer had ended and the sermon began, every +power of his mind was strained to its utmost capacity, and he +listened as if for life. The buried germs of desires and +aspirations of which he had never dreamed were quickened into life +with the rapidity of the outburst of vegetation in a polar summer. +Words and phrases which had hitherto seemed to him the utterances +of fools or madmen, became instinct with a marvelous beauty and a +wondrous meaning. They flashed like balls of fire. They pierced +like swords. They aroused like trumpets. Such was the +susceptibility of this great soul, and such was the power of that +simple eloquence.</p> +<p>Andy McFarlane, the child of poverty, the rude lumberman, the +hardy frontiersman, was by nature a poet and a seer, and this was +his new birth into his true inheritance. Those eyes which had never +wept, swam in tears. Those knees which had never trembled before +the visible, shook in the presence of the unseen.</p> +<p>The emotions have their limitations as well as the thoughts, and +McFarlane had endured all that he was capable of sustaining. With a +profound sob, in which he uttered the feelings he could not speak, +he turned and fled. It was this sob and these footsteps which David +heard.</p> +<p>Plunging into the depths of the forest as a wounded animal would +have done, he cast himself upon the bosom of the earth at the foot +of a great tree, to find solitude and consolation.</p> +<p>There are wounds in the soul too deep to be healed by the balm +which exudes from the visible elements of Nature. There are +longings and aspirations which the palpable and audible cannot +satisfy. Not what he sees and touches, but what he hopes and +trusts, can save man in these dark moments from the final despair +and terror of existence.</p> +<p>Upon such an hour as this the lumberman had fallen. God had +thrust Himself upon his attention. Instead of being compelled to +seek a religious experience, he found it impossible to escape +it.</p> +<p>The religious experiences of men in any such epoch possess a +certain general similarity. Sometimes thought, sometimes action and +sometimes emotion furnish the all-pervasive element. Whatever this +peculiar characteristic may be, its manifestations are always most +vivid and violent in ignorant periods, and along the uncultivated +frontiers of advancing civilization. In those rude days and +regions, the victims (if one might say so) of religion experienced +nervous excitations and emotional transports which not infrequently +terminated in convulsions. Days and nights, weeks and even months, +were often spent by them in struggles which were always painful and +often terrible.</p> +<p>Andy McFarlane had often enough witnessed and despised these +experiences; but through those almost inexorable laws of +association and imitation, they were more than likely to reproduce +themselves in him. And so indeed they did. Under the influence of +these new thoughts that had seized him with such power, he writhed +in agony on the ground. A profound "conviction of sin" took +possession of his soul and he felt himself to be hopelessly and +forever lost. That hell at which he had so often scoffed suddenly +opened its jaws beneath his feet, and although he shuddered at the +thought of being engulfed in its horrors, he felt that such a doom +would be the just desert of a life like his.</p> +<p>Hours passed in which his calmest thoughts were those of +complete bewilderment and helplessness, and in which he seemed to +himself to be floating upon a wide and shoreless sea, or wandering +in a pathless wilderness or winging his way like a lost bird +through the trackless heavens. However large an element of +unreality and absurdity there may have been in such experiences, it +is certain that changes of the most startling and permanent +character were often wrought in the natures of those who passed +through them, and when McFarlane at last emerged from this +spiritual excitement he was a strangely altered man. He seemed to +find himself in another and more beautiful world. Looking around +him with a childlike wonder, he rose and made his way back to the +cabin. He listened at the door, but heard no sound. He entered, +found the room empty, and gave himself up to rude and unscientific +speculation as to the nature of this mysterious adventure. Nothing +helped to solve the problem, until at last he discovered the Bible, +which the Quaker had hurled at the snake, lying upon the +hearthstone. It did not explain everything, but it served to +connect the inexplicable with the real and human, and he carried +the book with him when he returned to his companions with his +recovered axe.</p> +<p>That Bible became a "lamp to his feet and a light to his path." +By patient labor he learned to read it, and soon grew to be so +familiar with its contents, that he was able not only to +communicate its matter to others, in the new and beautiful life +which he began to live, but to give it new power for those men in +the plain and homely language of which he had always been a +master.</p> +<p>The lion had become a lamb, the eagle a dove. He moved among his +men, the incarnation of gentleness and truth. Under his powerful +influence the camp passed through a marvelous transformation. From +this limited sphere of influence, his fame began to extend into a +larger region. He was sent for from far and near to tell the story +of his strange conversion, and in time abandoned all other labor +and gave himself entirely to the preaching of the Gospel.</p> +<p>It was as if the spirit of love and faith which had departed +from the Quaker had entered into the lumberman.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h2> +<h3>A BROKEN REED</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Superstition is a senseless +fear of God."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 18.5em;">—Cicero.</span></p> +<p>The address of the young Quaker in the meeting house and the +interview with him by the roadside had opened a new epoch in the +life of the Fortune Teller.</p> +<p>Her idea of the world was a chaos of crude and irrational +conceptions. The superstitions of the gypsies by whom she had been +reared were confusedly blended with those practical but vicious +maxims which governed the conduct of her husband.</p> +<p>For her, the world of law, of order, of truth, of justice had no +existence. The quack cared little what she thought, and had neither +the ability nor the interest to penetrate to the secrets of her +soul.</p> +<p>She had lived the dream life of an ignorant child up to the +moment when David had awakened her soul, and now that she really +began to grapple with the problems of existence, she had neither +companion nor teacher to help her.</p> +<p>The two objects about which her thoughts had begun to hover +helplessly were the God of whom David had spoken and the Quaker +himself. Both of them had profoundly agitated her mind and heart, +and still haunted her thoughts.</p> +<p>During all of Saturday after the interview, through the evening +which she had passed in her booth, and far into the night, she had +revolved in her mind the words she had heard, and attempted to +weave these two mysterious beings into her confused scheme of +thought.</p> +<p>Her disappointment at David's refusal to accompany them in their +wandering life had been bitter. She did not comprehend the nature +of her feeling for him; but his presence gave her so exquisite a +happiness that the thought of never seeing him again had become +intolerable.</p> +<p>For the first time she, who had been for years, as she thought, +disclosing the future to other people, was seized with a burning +curiosity as to her own. Up to this crisis of her experience she +had lived in the present moment; but now she must look into +to-morrow and see if the Quaker was ever to cross her path again. +For so important, so delicate and so difficult a discovery it +seemed to her that the ordinary instruments of her art were +pitifully inadequate. The playing cards, the lines upon her hands, +the leaves in her tea cup would not do. She would resort to that +charm which the old gypsy had given her at parting, and which she +had reserved for some great and critical moment of life. That +moment had arrived.</p> +<p>As she enjoyed the most perfect freedom in all her movements, +she snatched an early and hurried breakfast Sunday morning, told +her husband that she was going to the woods for wild flowers, and +set forth upon an errand pregnant with destiny.</p> +<p>With an instinct like that of a wild creature she made her way +swiftly towards the great forest which lay at a little distance +from the outskirts of the village.</p> +<p>Her ignorance, her inexperience, her sadness and her beauty +would have stirred the hardest heart to compassion. Arrived at the +point where she was to confront the great spiritual problems of +existence, she might almost as well have been the first woman who +had ever done so, for she knew nothing of the experiences of others +who had encountered them, and she had scarcely heard an echo of the +great life-truths which seers have been ages in discovering. She +had to sound her way across the perilous sea of thought without any +other chart than the faded parchment of the gypsy, and those few +incomprehensible words which she had heard from the lips of the +young Quaker.</p> +<p>It is good for us that upon this vast and unknown sea of life, +God's winds and waves are wiser and stronger than the pilots, and +often bring our frail crafts into havens which we never sought! +Perhaps the act which Pepeeta was about to perform had more ethical +and spiritual value than the casual observer would suppose, because +of the perfect sincerity with which she undertook its performance. +No priestess ever entered an oracle, no vestal virgin a temple, nor +saint a shrine with more reverence than she felt, as she passed +into the silence of this primeval forest.</p> +<p>Neither David nor Pepeeta knew anything of each other's +movements, but they started upon their different errands at almost +the same moment and were pursuing parallel courses with only a low +ridge of hills between them. Each was following the brightest light +that had shone upon the pathway of life. Both were absorbed with +the highest thoughts of which they were capable. As invisible +planets deflect the stars from their orbits, these two were +imperceptibly diverting each other from the way of duty. The +experiences of this beautiful morning were to color the lives of +both forever.</p> +<p>As soon as Pepeeta had escaped from the immediate environments +of the village, she gave herself wholly to the task of gathering +those ingredients which were to constitute the mixture she planned +to offer to her god. She first secured a cricket, a lizard and a +frog, and then the herbs and flowers which were to be mingled with +them. Thrusting them all into a little kettle which swung on her +arm, she surrendered herself to the silent and mysterious +influences of the forest. At the edge of the primeval wilderness a +solemn hush stole over her. She entered its precincts as if it were +a temple and she a worshiper with a votive offering. Threading her +way through the winding aisles of the great cathedral, she was +exalted and transported. The fitful fever cooled in her veins. She +absorbed and drew into her own spirit the calm and silence of the +place, and she was in turn absorbed and drawn into the majestic +life around her. The distinctively human seemed to slip from her +like a garment, and she was transformed into a creature of these +solitudes. Her movements resembled those of a fawn. Her great, +gazelle-like eyes peered hither and thither, as if ever upon the +watch for some hidden foe. It was as if her life in the habitations +of men had been an enforced exile, and she had now returned to her +native haunts.</p> +<p>As she penetrated more and more deeply into the wood, her +confidence increased; she stepped more firmly, removed her hat, +shook out her long black tresses, listened to the songs of birds +piping in the tops of trees, and exulted in the consciousness of +freedom and of kinship with these natural objects. With a sudden +and impulsive movement, she drew near to the smooth trunk of a +great beech, put her arms around it, laid her cheek against it and +kissed the bark. She was prompted by the same instinct which made +St. Francis de Assisi call the flowers "our little sisters,—" +an inexplicable sense of companionship and fraternity with living +things of every kind.</p> +<p>Her swift footsteps brought her at last to the summit of a low +line of hills, and she glided down into an unpeopled and +shadow-haunted valley through which ran a crystal stream. +Perceiving the fitness of the place for her purpose, she hastened +forward smiling, and, heated with her journey, threw herself down +by the side of the brook and plunged her face into its cool and +sparkling waters. Then she lifted her head and carried the water to +her lips in the palm of her dainty hand, and as she drank beheld +the image of her face on the surface of a quiet little pool. Small +wonder that she stooped to kiss the red lips which were mirrored +there! So did the fair Greek maidens discover and pay tribute to +their own loveliness, in the pure springs of Hellas.</p> +<p>Refreshed by the cooling draught, the priestess now addressed +herself to her task. Gazing for an instant around the majestic +temple in which her act of worship was to be performed, she began +like some child of a long gone age to rear an altar. Selecting a +few from the many boulders that were strewn along the edge of the +stream, she arranged them so as to make an elevated platform upon +which she heaped dry leaves, brushwood and dead branches. Over it +she suspended a tripod of sticks, and from this hung her iron +kettle. Drawing from her pocket flint and steel, she struck them +together, dropped a spark upon a piece of rotten wood, purred out +her pretty cheeks and blew it into a flame. As the fire caught in +the dry brushwood and began to leap heavenward, she followed it +with her great brown eyes until it vanished into space. Her spirit +thrilled with that same sense of awe and reverence which filled the +souls of primitive men when they traced the course of the darting +flames toward the sky. In the presence of fire, some form of +worship is inevitable. Before conflagrations our reveries are +transformed into prayers. The silently ascending tongues of flame +carry us involuntarily into the presence of the Infinite.</p> +<p>Filling her kettle with water from the running brook, she +stirred into it the herbs, the berries, the lizard, the frog and +the cricket. This part of her work completed, she sat down upon a +bed of moss, drew forth the sacred parchment and read its contents +again and again.</p> +<p>"When the cauldron steams, dance about the fire and sing this +song. As the last words die away Matizan will leap from the flames +and reveal to thee the future."</p> +<p>Credulous child that she was, not the faintest shadow of a doubt +floated across her mind. She thrust the parchment back into her +bosom, and as the water began to bubble, leaped to her feet, threw +her arms above her head, sprang into the air, and went whirling +away in graceful curves and bacchantean dances.</p> +<p>There were in these movements, as in every dance, mysterious and +perhaps incomprehensible elements.</p> +<p>Who can tell whether they have their origin in the will of the +dancer alone, or in some outside force? The daisies in the meadow +and the waves of the sea dance because they are agitated by the +wind. The little cork automaton upon the sounding board of a piano +dances because it is agitated by the vibrations of the strings. The +little children in the alleys of a great city seem to be agitated +in the same way by the hurdy-gurdy!</p> +<p>Perhaps the rhythmic beating of the feet upon the ground +surcharges the body with electrical force, as by the touch of a +magnet. There is a mystery in the simplest phenomena of life.</p> +<p>Pepeeta, dancing upon the green moss beneath the great beech +trees, seemed to be in the hands of some external power, and could +scarcely have been distinguished from an automaton! She had brought +her tambourine, and holding it on high with her left hand or +extending it far forward, she tapped it with her fingers or her +knuckles, until all its brazen disks tingled and its little bells +gave out a sweet and silvery tintinnabulation.</p> +<p>The dancer's movements were alternately sinuous, undulatory and +gliding. At one moment her supple form, bending humbly toward the +earth, resembled the stem of a lily over-weighted with its blossom; +the next, a branch of a tree flung upward by a tempest; the next, a +column of autumn leaves caught up by a miniature whirlwind and sent +spinning along a winding path.</p> +<p>Her eyes glowed, her cheeks burned and her bosom heaved with +excitement. She seemed either to have caught from nature her own +mood, or else to have communicated hers to it, for while she danced +all else danced with her, the water in the brook, the squirrels in +the tree-tops, the shadows on the moss, and the leaves on the +branches.</p> +<p>Following the directions of the parchment, she continued to spin +and flutter around the fire until the water in the kettle began to +boil. At the first ebullitions, she stood poised for an instant +upon her toe, like the famous statue of Mercury, and so lightly +that she seemed to be sustained by undiscoverable wings, or to +float, like a bubble, of her own buoyancy.</p> +<p>Settling down at length as if she were a hummingbird lighting +upon a flower, she began to circle slowly around the fire and sing. +The melody was in a minor key and full of weird pathos. The words +were these:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"God of the gypsy camp, +Matizan, Matizan,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Open the future to +me—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Me thy true worshiper, here in +this solitude,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Offering this incense to +thee.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Matizan, Matizan, God of the +future days,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Come in the smoke and the +fire;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Kaffaran, Kaffaran, Muzsubar, +Zanzarbee;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Bundemar, Omadar, +Zire."</span></p> +<p>As the last syllable fell from her lips, the loathsome decoction +boiled over, and the singer, pausing as if suddenly turned to +marble, stood in statuesque beauty, her arms extended, her lips +parted, her eyes fixed. Expectancy gave place to surprise, surprise +to disappointment, disappointment to despair.</p> +<p>The lips began to quiver, the eyes to fill with tears; her +girlish figure suddenly collapsed and sank upon the ground as the +sail of a vessel falls to the deck when a sudden blast of wind has +snapped its cordage.</p> +<p>While the broken-hearted and disillusioned priestess lay +prostrate there, the fire spluttered, the birds sang cheerfully in +the treetops, and the brook murmured to the grasses at its marge. +No unearthly voice disturbed the tranquillity of the forest, and no +unearthly presence appeared upon the scene. The great world spirit +paid no more attention to the prone and weeping woman than to the +motes, that were swimming gaily in the sunbeams.</p> +<p>As for her, poor child, her life faith had been dissipated in a +single instant, and the whole fabric of her thought-world +demolished in a single crash.</p> +<p>What had happened to the Quaker in the lumber camp, had befallen +the gypsy in the forest. But while in his case the disappearance of +faith had been followed by a sudden eruption of evil passions, in +hers a vanished superstition had given place to a nascent spiritual +life.</p> +<p>The seed of religious truth sown by his hand in the fertile soil +of her heart already struck its roots deep down. She did not in any +full degree comprehend his words; but that reiterated statement +that "there is a light which lighteth every man that cometh into +the world" had made an indelible impression upon her mind and was +destined to accomplish great results.</p> +<p>As she lay crushed and desolate in her disillusionment, her mind +began of its own accord suddenly to feed upon this new hope. She +could not be said to have been reasoning, as David was doing in the +cabin. Her nature was emotional rather than intellectual, or at +least her powers of reason had never been developed. She could not +therefore think her way through these pathless regions over which +she was now compelled to pass; she could only feel her way. The +thoughts which began to course through her mind did not originate +in any efforts of the will, but issued spontaneously from the +depths of her soul, and as they arose without volition, so did they +flow on until they finally became as pure and clear as the waters +of the brook by whose banks she lay.</p> +<p>When her emotions had expended their force and she arose, an +experience befell her which revealed the immaturity of her +mind.</p> +<p>The idea of that "inner light" had taken complete possession of +her soul, and so when she suddenly perceived a long bright path of +gold which a beam of the setting sun had thrown along the floor of +the forest, like a shining track in the direction of the village, +she thought it had emerged from the depths of her own spirit.</p> +<p>Without a moment's hesitation she entered this golden highway +and sped along! Not for another instant did she regret the failure +of the gypsy god to meet her. She knew well enough, now, the way to +find her path amid the mysteries of life! She had but to follow +this light!</p> +<p>The shining pathway led her to the summit of the hill; and as +she began to descend the other slope, it vanished with the sun. But +she was not troubled, for she saw at a glance that the brook to +whose banks she was coming was the one flowing through the farm of +the Quaker. "Perhaps I shall see him again," she said to herself, +and the hope made her tumultuously happy.</p> +<p>She had lost all consciousness of the flight of time, and now +noticed with surprise that it was evening. The crows were winging +their way to their nesting ground; the rabbits were seeking their +burrows; the whole animal world was faring homeward. Some universal +impulse seemed to be driving them along their predestined paths, as +it drove the brooks and the clouds, and Pepeeta appeared, as much +as they, to be borne onward by a power above herself. She was but +little more conscious of choosing her path than the doe who at a +little distance was hurrying home to her mate; so completely were +all her volitional powers in abeyance to the emotional elements of +her soul.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h2> +<h3>WHERE PATHS CONVERGE</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"If we do meet again, we'll +smile indeed;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">If not, 'tis true this parting +was well made."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16.5em;">—Julius Caesar.</span></p> +<p>Violent emotions, like the lunar tides, must have their ebb +because they have their flow. The feelings do not so much advance +like a river, as oscillate like a pendulum.</p> +<p>Striding homeward after his downfall in the log cabin, David's +determination to join his fortunes to those of the two adventurers +began to wane. He trembled at an unknown future and hesitated +before untried paths.</p> +<p>Already the strange experience through which he had just passed +began to seem to him like a half-forgotten dream. The refluent +thoughts and feelings of his religious life began to set back into +every bay and estuary of his soul.</p> +<p>With a sense of shame, he regretted his hasty decision, and was +saying to himself, "I will arise and go to my Father," for all the +experiences of life clothed themselves at once in the familiar +language of the Scriptures.</p> +<p>It is more than likely that he would have carried out this +resolution, and that this whole experience would have become a mere +incident in his life history, if his destiny had depended upon his +personal volition. But how few of the great events of life are +brought about by our choice alone!</p> +<p>Just at sunset, he crossed the bridge over the brook which +formed the boundary line of the farm, and as he did so heard a +light footstep. Lifting his eyes, he saw Pepeeta, who at that very +instant stepped out of the low bushes which lined the trail she had +been following.</p> +<p>Her appearance was as sudden as an apparition and her beauty +dazzled him. Her face, flushed with exercise, gleamed against the +background of her black hair with a sort of spiritual radiance. +When she saw the Quaker, a smile of unmistakable delight flashed +upon her features and added to her bewitching grace. She might have +been an Oread or a Dryad wandering alone through the great forest. +What bliss for youth and beauty to meet thus at the close of day +amid the solitudes of Nature!</p> +<p>Had Nature forgotten herself, to permit these two young and +impressionable beings to enjoy this pleasure on a lonely road just +as the day was dying and the tense energies of the world were +relaxed? There are times when her indifference to her own most +inviolable laws seems anarchic. There are moments when she appears +wantonly to lure her children to destruction.</p> +<p>They gazed into each other's eyes, they knew not how long, with +an incomprehensible and delicious joy, and then looked down upon +the ground. Having regained their composure by this act, they +lifted their eyes and regarded each other with frank and friendly +smiles.</p> +<p>"I thought thee had gone," said David.</p> +<p>"We stayed longer than we expected," Pepeeta replied.</p> +<p>"Has thee been hunting wild flowers?" he asked, observing the +bouquet which she held in her hand.</p> +<p>"I picked them on the way."</p> +<p>"Has thee been walking far?"</p> +<p>"I have not thought."</p> +<p>"It is easy to walk in these spring days."</p> +<p>"I must have found it so, for I have been out since sunrise, and +am not tired."</p> +<p>"Thee does love the woods?"</p> +<p>"Oh, so much! I am a sort of wild creature and should like to +live in a cave."</p> +<p>"I am afraid thee would always turn thy face homeward at dusk, +as thee is doing now," he said with a smile.</p> +<p>"Oh, no! I am not afraid! I go because I must."</p> +<p>"I will join thee, if I may. The same path will take us toward +our different destinations."</p> +<p>"Oh, I shall be glad, for I want to ask you many questions. I +can think of nothing else but what I heard you say in the meeting +house."</p> +<p>"I fear I have said some things which I do not understand +myself," he replied, with a flush, remembering the experience +through which he had just passed.</p> +<p>The path was wide enough for two, and side by side they moved +slowly forward.</p> +<p>The somber garb in which he was dressed, and the brilliant +colors of her apparel, afforded a contrast like that between a +pheasant and a scarlet tanager. Color, form, motion—all were +perfect. They fitted into the scene without a jar or discord, and +enhanced rather than disturbed the harmony of the drowsy +landscape.</p> +<p>As they walked onward, they vaguely felt the influence of the +repose that was stealing upon the tired world; the intellectual and +volitional elements of their natures becoming gradually quiescent, +the emotions were given full sway. They felt themselves drawn +toward each other by some irresistible power, and, although they +had never before been conscious of any incompleteness of their +lives, they suddenly discovered affinities of whose existence they +had never dreamed. Their two personalities seemed to be absorbed +into one new mysterious and indivisible being, and this identity +gave them an incomprehensible joy. Over them as they walked, Nature +brooded, sphynx-like. Their young and healthy natures were tuned in +unison with the harmonies of the world like perfect instruments +from which the delicate fingers of the great Musician evoked a +melody of which she never tired, reserving her discords for a +future day. On this delicious evening she permitted them to be +thrilled through and through with joy and hope and she accompanied +the song their hearts were singing with her own multitudinous +voices. "Be happy," chirped the birds; "be happy," whispered the +evening breeze; "be happy," murmured the brook, running along by +their side and looking up into their faces with laughter. The whole +world seemed to resound with the refrain, "Be happy! Be happy! for +you are young, are young, are young!"</p> +<p>Pepeeta first broke the silence.</p> +<p>"I had never heard of the things about which you talked," she +said.</p> +<p>"Thee never had? How could that be? I thought that every one +knew them!"</p> +<p>"I must have lived in a different world from yours."</p> +<p>"What sort of a world has thee lived in?"</p> +<p>"A world of fairs and circuses, of traveling everywhere and +never stopping anywhere."</p> +<p>"Has thee never been in a church?"</p> +<p>"Never until that night."</p> +<p>"And thee knows nothing of God?"</p> +<p>"Nothing except the gypsy god, and he was not like yours."</p> +<p>"And thee was happy?"</p> +<p>"I thought so until I heard what you said. Since then I have +been full of care and trouble. I wish I knew what you meant! But I +have seen that wonderful light!"</p> +<p>"Thee has seen it?"</p> +<p>"Yes, to-day! And I followed it; I shall always follow it."</p> +<p>"When does thee leave the village?" David asked, fearing the +conversation would lead where he did not want to go.</p> +<p>"To-morrow," she said.</p> +<p>"Does thee think that the doctor would renew his offer to take +me with him?"</p> +<p>"Do I think so? Oh! I am sure."</p> +<p>"Then I will go."</p> +<p>"You will go? Oh! I am so happy! The doctor was very angry; he +has not been himself since. You don't know how glad he will +be."</p> +<p>"But will not thee be happy, too?" he asked.</p> +<p>"Happier than you could dream," she answered with all the +frankness of a child. "But what made you change your mind?"</p> +<p>"I will tell thee sometime; it is too late now. There is my home +and I have much work to do before dark."</p> +<p>"Home!" she echoed. "I never had a home, or at least I cannot +remember it. We have always led a roving life, here to-day and gone +to-morrow. It must be sweet to have a home!"</p> +<p>"Thee has always led a roving life and wishes to have a home? I +have always had a home, and wish to lead a roving life," said +David.</p> +<p>They looked at each other and smiled at this curious +contradiction. They smiled because they were not yet old enough to +weep over the restlessness of the human heart.</p> +<p>Having reached the edge of the woods, where their paths +separated, they paused.</p> +<p>"We must part," said David.</p> +<p>"Yes; but we shall meet to-morrow."</p> +<p>"We shall meet to-morrow."</p> +<p>"You are sure?"</p> +<p>"I am sure."</p> +<p>"You will not change your mind?"</p> +<p>"I could not if I would."</p> +<p>"Good-bye."</p> +<p>"Good-bye."</p> +<p>At the touch of their hands their young hearts were swayed by +tender and tumultuous feelings. A too strong pressure startled +them, and they loosened their grasp. The sun sank behind the hill. +The shadows that fell upon their faces awakened them from their +dreams. Again they said goodbye and reluctantly parted. Once they +stopped and, turning, waved their hands; and the next moment +Pepeeta entered the road which led her out of sight.</p> +<p>In this interview, the entire past of these two lives seemed to +count for nothing.</p> +<p>If Pepeeta had never seen anything of the world; if she had +issued from a nunnery at that very moment, she could not have acted +with a more utter disregard of every principle of safety.</p> +<p>It was the same with David. The fact that he had been reared a +Quaker; that he had been dedicated to God from his youth; that he +had struggled all his days to be prepared for such a moment as +this, did not affect him to the least degree.</p> +<p>The seasoning of the bow does not invariably prevent it from +snapping. The drill on the parade ground does not always insure, +courage for the battle. Nothing is more terrible than this futility +of the past.</p> +<p>Such scenes as this discredit the value of experience, and +attach a terrible reality to the conclusion of Coleridge, that "it +is like the stern-light of a vessel—illuminating only the +path over which we have traveled."</p> +<p>Nor did the future possess any more power over their destinies +than the past. Not a conscious foreboding disturbed their enjoyment +of that brief instant which alone can be called the present.</p> +<p>And yet, no moment in their after lives came up more frequently +for review than this one, and in the light of subsequent events +they were forced to recognize that during every instant of this +scene there was an uneasy but unacknowledged sense of danger and +wrong thrilling through all those emotions of bliss.</p> +<p>It is seldom that any man or woman enters into the region of +danger without premonitions. The delicate instincts of the soul +hoist the warning signals, but the wild passions disregard +them.</p> +<p>It was to this moment that their consciences traced their +sorrows; it was to that act of their souls which permitted them to +enjoy that momentary rapture that they attached their guilt; it was +at that moment and in that silent place that they planted the seeds +of the trees upon which they were subsequently crucified.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h2> +<h3>A POISONED SPRING</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"It was the saying of a great man, that if we could trace our +descents, we should find all slaves to come from princes and all +princes from slaves!"—Seneca.</p> +</div> +<p>Early the next morning the two adventurers took their +departure.</p> +<p>The jovial quack lavished his good-byes upon the landlord and +the "riff-raff" who gathered to welcome the coming or speed the +parting guest at the door of the country tavern. He drove a pair of +beautiful, spirited horses, and had the satisfaction of knowing +that he excited the envy of every beholder, as he took the ribbons +in his hand, swung out his long whip and started.</p> +<p>If her husband's heart was swelling with pride, Pepeeta's was +bursting with anxiety. An instinct which she did not understand had +prevented her from telling the doctor of her interview with the +Quaker. Long before the farmhouse came in sight she began to scan +the landscape for the figure which had been so vividly impressed +upon her mind.</p> +<p>The swift horses, well fed and well groomed, whirled the light +wagon along the road at a rapid pace and as they passed the humble +home of the Quaker, Pepeeta saw a little child driving the cows +down the long lane, and a woman moving quietly among the flowers in +the garden; but David himself was not to be seen.</p> +<p>"He has gone," she said to herself joyously.</p> +<p>On through the beech grove, around the turn of the road, into +full view of the bridge, they sped.</p> +<p>It was empty! And yet it was there that he had agreed to meet +them!</p> +<p>A tear fell from her eye, and her chin quivered. With the utmost +effort of her will she could not repress these evidences of her +disappointment, and with a spasmodic motion she clutched the arm of +the driver as if it were that of Destiny and she could hold it +back.</p> +<p>So sudden and so powerful was the grasp of her young hand, that +it turned the horses out of the road and all but upset the +carriage.</p> +<p>With a violent jerk of the reins, the astonished driver pulled +them back, and exclaimed with an oath:</p> +<p>"You little wild cat, if you ever d-d-do that again, I will +throw you into the d-d-ditch!"</p> +<p>"Excuse me!" she answered humbly, cowering under his angry +glances.</p> +<p>"What in the d-d-deuce is the matter?" he asked more kindly, +seeing the tears in her eyes.</p> +<p>"I do not know. I am nervous, I guess," she answered sadly.</p> +<p>"Nervous? P-p-pepeeta Aesculapius nervous? I thought her nerves +were m-m-made of steel? What is the m-m-matter?" he asked, looking +at her anxiously.</p> +<p>His gentleness calmed her, and she answered: "I am sorry to +leave a place where I have been so happy. Oh! why cannot we settle +down somewhere and stay? I get so tired of being always on the +wing. Even the birds have nests to rest in for a little while. Are +we never going to have a home?"</p> +<p>"Nonsense, child! What do we want with a h-h-home? It is better +to be always on the go. I want my liberty. It suits me best to fly +through the heavens like a hawk or swim the deep sea like a shark. +A home would be a p-p-prison. I should tramp back and forth in it +like a polar bear in a c-c-cage."</p> +<p>Pepeeta answered with a sigh.</p> +<p>"Cheer up, child," he cried in his hearty fashion. "Your voice +sounds like the squeak of a mouse! B-b-be gay! Be happy! How can +you be sad on a morning like this? Look at the play of the muscles +under the smooth skins of the horses! Remember the b-b-bright +shining dollars that we coaxed out of the tightly b-b-buttoned +breeches pockets of the gray-backed Q-Q-Quakers. What more do you +ask of life? What else can it g-g-give?"</p> +<p>"It does not make me happy! I shall never be happy until I have +a home," she said, still sobbing, and trying to conceal the cause +of her grief from herself as well as from her husband.</p> +<p>Nothing could have astonished the great, well-fed animal by her +side more than this confession. In all his life he had never heaved +a sigh. His contentment was like that of a lion in a forest full of +antelopes. But if he was fierce and cruel to others, he was at +least kind to his mate, and he now put his great paw around her +little shoulders and gave her one of his leonine kisses.</p> +<p>"You are as melancholy as an unstrung d-d-drum," he said. "I +must cheer you up. How would you like a s-s-song? What shall it be? +'Love's Young D-D-Dream'? All right. Here g-g-goes."</p> +<p>And at the word, he opened his great mouth and stuttered it +forth in stentorian tones that went bellowing among the hills like +the echoes of thunder.</p> +<p>Pepeeta smiled at his kindness and was grateful for his clumsy +efforts at consolation; but they did not dispel her sadness. Her +spirits sank lower and lower. The light seemed to have faded out of +the world, and the streams of joy to have run dry. She sighed again +in spite of herself, and in that sigh exhaled the hope which had +sprung from her heart at the prospects of a new and sweet +companionship.</p> +<p>She had divined the cause of her disappointment with an unerring +instinct. It was exactly as she thought. At the last instant, +David's heart had failed him.</p> +<p>On the preceding evening, he had hurried through his "chores," +excused himself from giving an account of the adventures of the day +on the ground of fatigue, and retired to his room to cherish in his +heart the memories of that beautiful face and the prospects of the +future. He could not sleep. For hours he tossed on his bed or sat +in the window looking out into the night, and when at last he fell +into an uneasy slumber his dreams were haunted by two faces which +struggled ceaselessly to crowd each other from his mind. One was +the young and passionate countenance of the gypsy, and the other +was that of his beautiful mother with her pale, carven features, +her snow-white hair, her pensive and unearthly expression. They +both looked at him, and then gazed at each other. Now one set below +the horizon like a wan, white moon, and the other rose above it +like the glowing star of love. Now the moon passed over the glowing +star in a long eclipse and then disappearing behind a cloud left +the brilliant star to shine alone.</p> +<p>When he awoke the gray dawn revealed in vague outline the +realities of the world, and warned him that he had but a few +moments to execute his plans. He sprang from his couch strong in +his purpose to depart, for the fever of adventure was still burning +in his veins, and the rapturous looks with which Pepeeta had +received his promise to be her companion still made his pulses +bound. He hurriedly put a few things into a bundle and stole out of +the house.</p> +<p>As he moved quietly but swiftly away from the familiar scenes, +his heart which had been beating so high from hope and excitement +began to sink in his bosom. He had never dreamed of the force of +his attachment to this dear place, and he turned his face toward +the old gray house again and again. Every step away from it seemed +more difficult than the last, and his feet became heavy as lead. +But he pressed on, ashamed to acknowledge his inability to execute +his purpose. He came to the last fence which lay between him and +the bridge where he had agreed to await the adventurers, and then +paused.</p> +<p>He was early. There was still time to reflect. Had the carriage +arrived at that moment he would have gone; but it tarried, and the +tide of love and regret bore him back to the old familiar life. "I +cannot go. I cannot give it up," he murmured to himself.</p> +<p>Torn by conflicting emotions, inclining to first one course and +then another, he finally turned his face away from the bridge and +fled, impelled by weakness rather than desire. He did not once look +back, but ran at the top of his speed straight to the old barn and +hid himself from sight. There, breathless and miserable, he +watched. He had not long to wait. The dazzling "turn-out" dashed +into view. On the high seat he beheld Pepeeta, saw the eager glance +she cast at the farm house, followed her until they arrived at the +bridge, beheld her disappointment, raved at his own weakness, +rushed to the door, halted, returned, rushed back again, returned, +threw himself upon the sweet smelling hay, cursed his weakness and +indecision and finally surrendered himself to misery.</p> +<p>From the utter wretchedness of that bitter hour, he was roused +by the ringing of the breakfast bell. Springing to his feet, he +hastened to the spring, bathed his face, assumed a cheerful look +and entered the house.</p> +<p>For the first time in his life he attempted the practice of +deception, and experienced the bitterness of carrying a guilty +secret in his bosom. How he worried through the morning meal and +the prayer at the family altar, he never knew, and he escaped with +inexpressible relief to the stable and the field to take up the +duties of his daily life. He found it plodding work, for the old +inspirations to endeavor had utterly vanished. He who had hitherto +found toil a beatitude now moved behind the plow like a common +drudge.</p> +<p>Tired of the pain which he endured, he tried again and again to +forget the whole experience and to persuade himself that he was +glad the adventure had ended; but he knew in his heart of hearts +that he had failed to follow the gypsy, not because he did not +really wish to, but because he did not wholly dare. The +consciousness that he was not only a bad man but a coward, added a +new element to the bitterness of the cup he was drinking.</p> +<p>Each succeeding day was a repetition of the first, and became a +painful increment to his load of misery and unrest. The very world +in which he lived seemed to have undergone a transformation. The +sunlight had lost its glory, the flowers had become pale and +odorless, the songs of the birds dull and dispiriting.</p> +<p>What had really changed was the soul of the young recluse and +mystic. The consciousness of God had vanished from it; the visions +of the spiritual world no longer visited it; he ceased to pray in +secret, and the petitions which he offered at the family altar were +so dull and spiritless as even to excite the observation and +comment of his little nephew.</p> +<p>"Uncle Dave," remarked that fearless critic, "you pray as if you +were talking down a deep well."</p> +<p>No wonder that the child observed the fact upon which he alone +had courage to comment, for there is as great a difference between +a prayer issuing from the heart and one merely falling from the +lips as between water gushing from a fountain and rain dripping +from a roof.</p> +<p>Some men pass their lives in the midst of environments where +insincerity would not have been so painful; but in a home and a +community where sham and hypocrisy were almost unknown these +perpetual deceptions became more and more intolerable with every +passing hour. Nothing could be more certain than that in a short +time, like some foreign substance in a healthy body, his nature +would force him out of this uncongenial environment. With some +natures the experience would have been a slow and protracted one, +but with him the termination could not be long delayed.</p> +<p>It came in a tragedy at the close of the next Sabbath. The day +had been dreary, painful and exasperating beyond all endurance, and +he felt that he could never stand the strain of another. And so, +having detained his mother in the sitting room after the rest of +the family had retired, he paced the floor for a few moments, and +after several unsuccessful attempts to introduce the subject +gently, said bluntly:</p> +<p>"Mother, I am chafing myself to death against the limitations of +this narrow life."</p> +<p>"My son," she said calmly, "this has not come to me as a +surprise."</p> +<p>He moved uneasily and looked as if he would ask her "Why?"</p> +<p>"Because," she said, as if he had really spoken, "a mother +possesses the power of divination, and can discern the sorrows of +her children, by a suffering in her own bosom."</p> +<p>The consciousness that he had caused her pain rendered him +incapable of speech, and for a moment they sat in silence.</p> +<p>"What is thy wish and purpose, my son?" she asked at last, with +an effort which seemed to exhaust her strength.</p> +<p>"I wish to see the world," he answered, his eye kindling as he +spoke.</p> +<p>This reply, foreseen and expected as it was, sent a shiver +through her. She turned paler, if possible, than before; but +summoning all the powers of self-control resident in that +disciplined spirit, she replied with an enforced tranquillity:</p> +<p>"My son, does thee know what this world is which thee fain would +see?"</p> +<p>"I have seen it in my dreams. I have heard its distant voices +calling to me. My spirit chafes to answer their summons. I strain +at my anchor like a great ship caught by the tide."</p> +<p>"Shall I tell thee what this world of which thee has dreamed +such dreams is really like, my son?" she asked, struggling to +maintain her calm.</p> +<p>"How should thee know?"</p> +<p>"I have seen it."</p> +<p>"Thee has seen it? I thought that thee had passed thy entire +life among the Quakers," he answered with surprise.</p> +<p>"I say that I have seen it. Shall I tell thee what it is?" she +resumed, as if she had not heard him.</p> +<p>"If thee will," he answered, awed by a strange solemnity in her +manner.</p> +<p>Her quick respirations had become audible. Small but intensely +red spots were burning on either cheek. Her white hands trembled as +they clutched the arms of the old rocking chair in which she +sat.</p> +<p>"I will!" she said, regarding him with a look which seemed to +devour him with yearning love. "This world whose voices thee hears +calling is a fiction of thine own brain. That which thee thinks +thee beholds of glory and beauty thee hast conjured up from the +depths of a youthful and disordered fancy, and projected into an +unreal realm. That world which thee has thus beheld in thy dreams +will burst like a pin-pricked bubble when thee tries to enter it. +It is not the real world, my son. How shall I tell thee what that +real world is? It is a snare, a pit-fall. It is a flame into which +young moths are ever plunging. It promises, only to deceive; it +beckons, only to betray; its smiles are ambushes; it is sunlight on +the surface, but ice at the heart; it offers life, but it confers +death. I bid thee fear it, shun it, hate it!"</p> +<p>She leaned far forward in her chair, and her face upon which the +youth had never seen any other look but that of an almost unearthly +calm, was glowing with excitement and passion.</p> +<p>"Mother," he exclaimed, "what does thee know of this world, thee +who has passed thy life in lonely places and amongst a quiet +people?"</p> +<p>She rose and paced the floor as if to permit some of her +excitement to escape in physical activity, and pausing before him, +said: "My only and well-beloved son, thee does not know thy mother. +A veil has been drawn over that portion of her life which preceded +thy birth, and its secrets are hidden in her own heart. She has +prayed God that she might never have to bring them forth into the +light; but he has imposed upon her the necessity of opening the +grave in which they are buried, in order that, seeing them, thee +may abandon thy desires to taste those pleasures which once lured +thy mother along the flower-strewn pathway to her sin and +sorrow."</p> +<p>Her solemnity and her suffering produced in the bosom of her son +a nameless fear. He could not speak. He could only look and +listen.</p> +<p>"Thee sees before thee," she continued, "the faded form and +features of a woman once young and beautiful. Can thee believe +it?"</p> +<p>He did not answer, for she had seemed to him as mothers always +do to children, to have been always what he had found her upon +awakening to consciousness. He could not remember when her hair was +not gray.</p> +<p>Something in her manner revealed to the startled soul of the +young Quaker that he was about to come upon a discovery that would +shake the very foundation of his life; for a moment he could not +speak.</p> +<p>The silence in which she awaited the answer to her question +became profound and in it the ticking of the old clock sounded like +the blows of a blacksmith's hammer, the purring of the cat like the +roar of machinery, and the beating of his heart like the dull thud +of a battering ram.</p> +<p>As if reading his inmost thoughts, the white-faced woman said: +"And so thee thought that I was always old and gray?"</p> +<p>As she uttered these words in a tone of indescribable sadness, a +faint smile played around the corners of her mouth—such a +marble smile as might have appeared upon the face of Niobe. In an +instant more it had composed itself into its former sadness, as a +sheet of pure water resumes its calmness, after having been lightly +stirred by a summer wind.</p> +<p>So long did she stand regarding him with looks of unutterable +love that he could not endure the strain of the withheld secret, +but exclaimed hoarsely: "Go on! Mother, for God's sake, go on! If +thee has something to disclose, reveal it at once!"</p> +<p>It seemed impossible for her to speak. The opening of the +secrets of her heart to God before the bar of judgment could have +cost her no greater effort than this confession to her son.</p> +<p>"David," she said, in a voice that sounded like an echo of a +long-dead past, "the fear that the sins of thy parents should be +visited upon thee has tormented every hour of my life. I have +watched thee and prayed for thee as no one but a mother who has +drunk the bitter cup to its dregs could ever do. I have trembled at +every childish sin. In every little fault I have beheld a miniature +of the vices of thy mother and thy father—thy father! Oh! +David, my son—my son!"</p> +<p>The white lips parted, but no sound issued from them. She raised +her white hand and clutched at her throat as if choking. Then she +trembled, gasped, reeled, and fell forward into his arms.</p> +<p>In a moment more, the agitated heart had ceased to beat, and the +secret of her life was hidden in its mysterious silence. The +sudden, inexplicable and calamitous nature of this event came near +unsettling the mental balance of the sensitive and highly organized +youth. Coming as it did upon the very heels of the experiences +which had so thoroughly shaken his faith in the old life, he felt +himself to be the target for every arrow in the quiver of +misfortune.</p> +<p>He seemed to himself not so much like a boat that had sprung a +single leak, as like one out of which every nail had been pulled +and the joints left open to the inrushing waters.</p> +<p>Into the unfilled gap in his mother's narrative, ten thousand +suspicions crept, each displacing the other and leaving him more +and more in darkness and in dread with regard to the origin of his +own life. Wherever he went and whatever he did these confused +suspicions resounded in his ears like the murmur in a seashell.</p> +<p>He did not dare communicate this story even to his sister; for +if she knew nothing he feared to poison her existence by telling +her, and if she knew all he had not the courage to listen to the +sequel. Perhaps no other experience in life produces a more +profound shock than a discovery like that upon which David had so +suddenly stumbled. It leads to despair or to melancholy, and many a +life of highest promise has been suddenly wrecked by it. While he +brooded over this mystery the days slipped past the young mystic +almost unnoted; he wandered about the farm, passing from one fit of +abstraction into another, doing nothing, saying nothing, thinking +everything.</p> +<p>The world was shrouded in a gloom through whose shifting mists a +single star shone now and then, emitting a brilliant and dazzling +ray. It was the figure of a gypsy.</p> +<p>In his heavy, aching heart thoughts of her alone aroused an +emotion of joy. As other objects lost their power to attract or +charm, she more and more filled all his horizon.</p> +<p>Her name was whispered by each passing breeze. It was syllabled +by every singing bird. The old clock ticked it on the stairway. The +hoofs of his horse which he rode recklessly over the country +uttered it to the hard roads on which they fell—"Pepeeta, +Pepeeta, Pepeeta."</p> +<p>Whenever he really tried to banish the temptations which haunted +his soul, they always returned to the swept and garnished chamber +bringing with them seven spirits worse than themselves.</p> +<p>He tried to look forward to the future with hope. But how can a +man hope for harvests, when all his seed corn has been destroyed? +If his father was bad, what hope was there that he could be +better?</p> +<p>He made innumerable resolves to take up the duties of life where +he had laid them down, but they were all like birds which die in +the nest where they are born.</p> +<p>Pepeeta was drawing him irresistibly to herself; he was like a +man in the outer circle of a vortex, of which she was the center. +The touch of her soft hand which he could still feel, the farewell +glance of eyes which still glowed before his imagination, attracted +him like a powerful magnet. It was true that he did not know where +she was; but he felt that he could find her in the uttermost parts +of the earth by yielding himself to the impulse which she had +awakened in his heart.</p> +<p>"A dark veil of mystery hangs over my past. My present is full +of misery and unrest. I will see if the future has any joys in +store for me," he said to himself at the close of one of his +restless days.</p> +<p>Without so much as a word of farewell, he crept out of the house +in the gathering dusk, and started in pursuit of the bright object +that floated like a will-o'-the-wisp before his inner eye.</p> +<p>A feeling of exultation and relief seized him as he left the +place made dark and dreadful by the memory of that tragic scene +through which he had so recently passed; the quiet of the evening +soothed his perturbed spirits, and the tranquil stars looked down +upon him with eyes that twinkled as if in sympathy.</p> +<p>It is an old tradition of the monks, that when the sap begins to +run in the vines on sunny slopes, a revolt and discontent thrills +in the bottles imprisoned in the darkness of the wine vaults. Such +a discontent and fever had been thrilling in David's veins during +these warm spring days, when the whole world had been in a ferment +of life, and he had been bottled up in the gloom and narrowness of +the little country village; and yielding himself to the emotions +that seethed in his breast, he broke all the tender ties of the +past and went blindly into the future.</p> +<p>He had been suddenly fascinated by a beautiful woman and +bewildered by an unscrupulous man; he had felt the foundations of +his religious faith shaken, and discovered that his own life had +sprung from an illicit passion. These are violent blows, and many a +man has gone down before a single one of them. If the blows had +been delivered singly at long intervals he might have survived the +shock; but following each other in swift succession like great +tidal waves they had literally swept him from his moorings.</p> +<p>Such collapses fill us with horror and questioning. How do they +come about? Can they be prevented? These are the deepest problems +of life, and our psychology is still impotent to solve them. We can +detect and measure the dross in metals or the poison in drugs; but +we have no solvent that will reduce a complex nature like David's +into its original elements and enable us to differentiate a son's +responsibility from that of his father.</p> +<p>We make bold guesses and confident affirmations as to the +comparative influence of heredity and environment. We enter into +learned disputations as to the blessing or the bane of an education +such as his. But every such case is still a profound and insoluble +mystery. The most comprehensive laws and the most careful +generalizations meet with too many exceptions to enable us to form +a science. The children of the good are too often bad and the +children of the bad too often good to permit us to dogmatize about +heredity. We learn as our experience deepens and our horizon widens +to regard such collapses with a compassionate sympathy and a +humbled consciousness of our own unfitness to judge and condemn. +Whether we create our individuality or only bring it to +light—is the question that makes us stumble! But while we +move in the midst of uncertainties in this realm, there is another +in which we walk in the glare of noonday. We know beyond the +peradventure of a doubt that whatever may be the origin of such +weakness as that of the young mystic, the results are always +inevitable! Nature never asks any questions nor makes any +allowances. To her mind, sin is sin! Whatsoever a man +sows—that shall he also reap. Whether he yield to evil +voluntarily or be driven into it by resistless force; whether he +sin because of a self-originating propensity or because his father +sinned before him, is all one to those resistless executors of +Nature's law, sickness, sorrow, disaster, death!</p> +<p>No man ever defeated Nature! No man ever will! From the instant +when he turned his back upon his home, David's fate was sealed. He +was playing against a certainty and he knew it. But he ought to +have remembered it! It was of this that he ought to have been +thinking, and not of the gypsy's eyes!</p> +<p>Sometimes such men escape from the final catastrophe of the long +series; but not from the intermediate lashings!</p> +<p>This brutal, idiotic step of Corson's looks like a final plunge; +a fatal fall; a hopeless retrogression. But we must not judge +prematurely. "Man advances; but in spiral lines," said Goethe. The +river goes forward, in spite of its eddies. You can complete a +geometric circle from a minute portion of its curve; but not a +human cycle. We can not predict the final issue of a human life +until the last sigh is drawn.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h2> +<h3>THE FLESH AND THE DEVIL</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"To tell men they cannot help themselves is to fling them into +recklessness and despair."—Froude.</p> +</div> +<p>Although David did not know the exact route the quack had laid +out for his journey, he was certain that it would be easy enough to +trace him in that sparsely-settled region, and so he turned his +face in the direction in which the equipage vanished when he +watched it from the barn. His movements did not seem to come from +his own volition but to originate in something external. He had a +sense of yielding to necessity. There are heroic moments in our +lives, when that subtle force we call our "will" demonstrates, or +at all events persuades us, that we are "<i>free</i>." There are +others, like those through which the young adventurer was now +passing, when we experience a feeling of utter helplessness amidst +cosmic forces and believe ourselves to be straws in a mighty wind +or ill-fated stars borne along a predestined orbit.</p> +<p>Surrendering himself to the current of events, the recalcitrant +Quaker escaped for a time the painful consciousness of personal +responsibility.</p> +<p>The tranquil stars above him seemed to look down upon the +wanderer in silent approval. The night birds chanted their +congratulations from the tree tops, and reading his own thoughts +into their songs he imagined he heard them saying, "Let each one +find his mate; let each one find his mate."</p> +<p>The cool night breeze caressed and kissed him as it hurried by +on silent wings, and for an hour or two he tramped along with a +peace in his heart which seemed to be a reflection from the outside +world.</p> +<p>But gradually a change came over the face of nature, and this, +too, reflected itself in the mirror of his soul.</p> +<p>In the heavens above him the clouds commenced to gather like +hostile armies. They skirmished, sent out their flying battalions +and then fell upon each other in irresistible fury. Great, jagged +flashes of lightning, like sword thrusts from gigantic and hidden +hands rent the sky; wild crashes of thunder pealed through the +reverberating dome of heaven; the rain fell in torrents; the +elements of nature seemed to have evaded their master, vaulted +their barriers and precipitated themselves in a furious +struggle.</p> +<p>The lonely pilgrim perceived the resemblance which his +conflicting emotions bore to this wild scene, and smiled grimly. He +found in all this tumult a justification for the tempest in his +soul.</p> +<p>It was not until the light of morning struggled through this +universal gloom, that the weary and bedraggled traveler entered the +outskirts of the then straggling but growing and busy village of +Hamilton. Tired in body and benumbed in mind, he made his way to +the hotel, conscious only of his desire and determination to look +once more upon the face of the woman whose image was so indelibly +impressed upon his mind.</p> +<p>Approaching the desk he nervously asked if the doctor was among +the guests, flushed at the answer, demanded a room, ascended the +steep staircase, and was soon in bed and asleep. Fatigued by his +long tramp, he did not awaken until after noon, and then, having +bathed, dressed and broken his long fast, he knocked at the door of +the room occupied by the doctor and his wife.</p> +<p>There was a quick but gentle step in answer to his summons, and +at the music of that footfall his heart beat tumultuously. The door +opened, and before him stood the woman who had brought about this +mysterious train of events in his life.</p> +<p>She started back as she saw him, with an involuntary and timid +motion, but so great was her surprise and joy that she could not +control her speech or action sufficiently to greet him.</p> +<p>"Who is there?" cried the doctor, in his loud, imperative +voice.</p> +<p>"Mr. Corson," she answered in tones that were scarcely +audible.</p> +<p>"Corson? Who the d-d-deuce is Corson, and what the deuce does he +want?" he asked, rising and approaching the door.</p> +<p>The instant his eyes fell on the countenance of the Quaker, he +threw up both hands and uttered a prolonged whistle of +astonishment.</p> +<p>"The preacher!" he exclaimed. "The lost is found. The +p-p-prodigal has returned. Come in, and let us k-k-kill the fatted +calf!"</p> +<p>Coarse as the welcome was, it was full of sincerity, and its +heartiness was like balm to the wounded spirit of the youth. He +grasped the extended hand and permitted himself to be drawn into +the room.</p> +<p>Pepeeta, who had recovered from the first shock of surprise and +delight, came forward and greeted him with a shy reserve. She gave +him her hand, and its gentle touch reanimated his soul. She smiled +at him,—a gracious smile, and its light illumined the +darkness of his heart. His sadness vanished. He once more felt an +emotion of joy.</p> +<p>The excitement of their meeting having subsided they seated +themselves, David in an easy chair, the doctor on the broad couch, +and Pepeeta on a little ottoman at his feet. Vivid green curtains +partially obscured the bright sunshine which beat upon the windows. +The wall-paper was cheap, vulgar, faded. On the floor was an old +ingrain carpet full of patches and spattered with ink stains. A +blue-bottle fly buzzed and butted his head against the walls, and +through the open casement hummed the traffic of the busy little +town.</p> +<p>Nothing could have been more expressive of triumph and delight +than the face of the quack. Whenever his feelings were particularly +bland and expansive, he had a way of taking the ends of his +enormous moustache and twirling them between his spatulate thumbs +and fingers. He did this now, and twisted them until the coarse +hairs could be heard grating against each other.</p> +<p>"Well, well!" he said, "so you could not resist the temptation? +Ha! ha! ha! No wonder! It's not every young fellow behind the +p-p-plow-tail that has a fortune thrust under his nose. Shows your +g-g-good sense. I was right. I always am. I knew you were too +bright a man to hide your light under a half b-b-bushel of a +village like that. In those seven-by-nine towns, all the sap dries +out of men, and before they are forty they begin to rattle around +like peas in a p-p-pod. In such places young men are never anything +but milk sops, and old men anything but b-b-bald-headed infants! +You needed to see the world, young man. You required a teacher. You +have put yourself into good hands, and if you stay with me you +shall wear d-d-diamonds."</p> +<p>"Whatever the results may be, I have determined to make the +experiment," said David, shrugging his shoulders.</p> +<p>"Right you are. But what b-b-brought you round? You were as +stiff as a ramrod when I left you."</p> +<p>"Circumstances over which I had no control, and which I want to +forget as soon as possible. My old life has ended and I have come +to seek a new one."</p> +<p>"A new life? That's good. Well—we will show it to you, +P-P-Pepeeta and I! We will show you."</p> +<p>"The sooner the better. What am I to do?"</p> +<p>"Not too fast! There are times when it is better to g-g-go slow, +as the snail said to the lightning. We must make a +b-b-bargain."</p> +<p>"Make it to suit yourself."</p> +<p>"You d-d-don't expect me to stick to my old offer, I reckon. +When I made it, Mahomet went to the m-m-mountain, and now the +mountain comes to Mahomet; see?"</p> +<p>"Do as you please, I am in no mood to split hairs, nor pennies. +All I ask is a chance to put my foot upon the first round of the +ladder and if I do not get to the top, I shall not hold you +responsible," David replied, dropping the "thees" of his Quaker +life, in his determination to divest himself of all its customs as +rapidly as he could.</p> +<p>"Hi! hi! There's fire in the flint! Good thing! you don't want +to split pennies! Well, if you d-d-don't, I don't. You take me on +the right side, D-D-Davy. I'll do the square thing by you—see +if I d-d-don't. Let's have a drink. Bring the bottle, Pepeeta!"</p> +<p>She went to the mantel and returned with a flask and two +glasses. The quack filled them both and passed one to David. It was +the first time in his life that he had ever even smelt an +intoxicant. He recoiled a little; but having committed himself to +his new life, he determined to accept all that it involved. He +lifted the fiery potion to his lips, and drank.</p> +<p>"Hot, is it, my son?" cried the doctor, laughing uproariously at +his wry face. "You Quakers drink too much water! Freezes inside of +you and t-t-turns you into what you might call two-p-p-pronged +icicles. Give me men with red blood in their veins! And there's +nothing makes b-b-blood red like strong liquors!"</p> +<p>The whisky revived the courage and loosened the tongue of the +youth. The repugnance which he had instinctively felt for the +vulgar quack began to mellow into admiration. He asked and answered +many questions.</p> +<p>"What part am I to take in this business?" he asked.</p> +<p>"What part are you to take in the business? That's good, 'Never +put off till to-morrow what you can d-d-do to-day.' 'Business first +and then pleasure.' 'The soul of business is dispatch.' These are +good mottoes, my lad. I learned them from the wise men; but if I +had not learned them, I should have invented them. What's your +p-p-part of the business, says you; listen! You are to be its +m-m-mouth-piece. That tongue of yours must wag like the tail of a +d-d-dog; turn like a weather-vane; hiss like a serpent, drip with +honey and poison, be tipped with p-p-persuasion; tell ten thousand +t-t-tales, and every tale must sell a bottle of p-p-panacea!"</p> +<p>He paused, and looked rapturously upon the face of his +pupil.</p> +<p>"This panacea—has it merits? Will it really cure?" asked +David.</p> +<p>The doctor laughed long and loud.</p> +<p>"Has it merits? Will it really cure? Ho! ho! 'Is thy bite good +for the b-b-backache?' said the sick mouse to the cat. What +difference does it make whether it will cure or not? Success in +b-b-business is not based upon the quality of the m-m-merchandise, +my son."</p> +<p>"Upon what, then?" said David.</p> +<p>"Upon the follies, the weaknesses and the p-p-passions of +mankind! Since time began, a universal panacea' has been a sure +source of wealth. It makes no difference what the panacea is, if +you only have the b-b-brains to fool the people. There are only two +kinds of people in the world, my son—the fools and +f-f-foolers!"</p> +<p>Even whisky could not make David listen to this cold-blooded +avowal without a shudder.</p> +<p>The keen eye of the quack detected it; but instead of +adulterating his philosophy, he doubled his dose.</p> +<p>"Shocks you, does it? You will g-g-get over that. We are not +angels! we are only men. Remember what old Jack Falstaff said? 'If +Adam fell in a state, of innocency, what shall I d-d-do in a state +of villainy?'"</p> +<p>The boldness of the man and the radicalness of his philosophy +dazzled and fascinated the inexperienced youth.</p> +<p>This was what the astute and unscrupulous instructor expected, +and he determined to pursue his advantage and effect, if possible, +the complete corruption of his pupil in a single lesson; and so he +continued:</p> +<p>"Got to live, my son! Self-p-p-preservation is the first law, +and so we must imitate the rest of the b-b-brute creation, and live +off of each other! The big ones must feed upon the little and the +strong upon the weak. 'Every man for himself and the d-d-devil take +the hindmost!' That's my religion."</p> +<p>"You may be right," said David, "but I cannot say that I take to +it kindly. I do not see how a man can practice this cruelty and +injustice without suffering."</p> +<p>"Suffering! Idea of suffering is greatly exaggerated. Ever watch +a t-t-toad that was being swallowed by a snake? Looks as if he +positively enjoyed it. It's his mission. Born to be eaten! If there +was as much pain in the world as p-p-people say, do you think +anybody could endure it! Isn't the d-d-door always open? Can't a +man quit when he wants to? Suffering! Pshaw! Do I look as if I +suffered? Does Pepeeta look as if she suffered? And yet she +b-b-bamboozles them worse than I do."</p> +<p>The head of the gypsy bent lower and lower over her +crocheting.</p> +<p>"She plays upon them like a fife! They d-d-dance when she +whistles! Next to wanting a universal panacea for pain, the idiots +want a knowledge of the future! Everybody but me wants to know what +kind of a to-morrow God Almighty has made for him. I make my own +to-morrows! I don't ask to have my destiny made up for me like a +t-t-tailor coat. I make my own destiny. If things d-d-don't come my +way, I just pull them! People talk about 'following Providence!' I +follow Providence as an Irishman follows his wheel-barrow. I shove +it! See? But that is not the way of the rest of them, thank +Fortune! And so Pepeeta gathers them in! Strange fish g-g-get into +her net, Davy. Back there in your own little t-t-town she caught +some of your long-faced old Quakers, b-b-big fellows with +broad-brimmed hats, drab coats and ox eyes, regular meetin'-goers! +And there was that little d-d-dove-eyed girl. What was it she +wanted to know, P-P-Pepeeta? Tell him. Ha! ha! Tell him and we will +see him b-b-blush."</p> +<p>"She asked me if her father was going to send her to +Philadelphia this winter," she answered, without lifting her +eyes.</p> +<p>"I don't mean that!"</p> +<p>"She asked me whether I could tell them where to find the +spotted heifer."</p> +<p>"The d-d-deuce, child! Why don't you tell me what she asked you +'bout D-D-Davy?"</p> +<p>"It is time for us to go to supper or we shall be late," she +replied, laying aside her work and rising.</p> +<p>"Sure enough!" cried the doctor, springing to his feet. "The +Q-Q-Quaker has knocked everything out of my head. Come on!"</p> +<p>He rose and began bustling about the room.</p> +<p>When Pepeeta glanced up from her work she saw in David's eye a +grateful appreciation of her courtesy and tact, and his look filled +her with a new happiness.</p> +<p>The disgust awakened in the Quaker's mind by the coarseness of +the quack was more than offset by the beauty and grace of the +gypsy. When he looked at her, when he was even conscious of her +presence, he felt a happiness which compensated for all that he had +suffered or lost. He did not stop to ask what its nature was. He +had cast discretion to the winds. He had in these few hours since +his departure broken so utterly with the past that he was like a +man who had been suddenly awakened from a long lapse of memory. His +old life was as if it had never been. He felt himself to be in a +vacuum, where all his ideas must be newly created. This epoch of +his experience was superimposed upon the other like a different +geological formation. Like the old monks in their cells, he was +deliberately trying to erase from the parchment of his soul all +that had been previously written, in order that he might begin a +new life history.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.</h2> +<h3>THE MOTH AND THE FLAME</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Misled by Fancy's +meteor-ray</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 4em;">By passion driven:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But yet the light that led +astray</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Was light from +heaven."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Burns.</span></p> +<p>A little before dusk the three companions started upon their +evening's business. The horses and carriage were waiting at the +door and they mounted to their seats. David was embarrassed by the +novelty of the situation, and Pepeeta by his presence; but the +quack was in his highest spirits. He saluted the bystanders with +easy familiarity, ostentatiously flung the hostler a coin, +flourished his whip and excited universal admiration for his +driving.</p> +<p>During the turn which they took around the city for an +advertisement, he indoctrinated his pupil with the principles of +his art.</p> +<p>"People to-day are just what they were centuries ago. G-g-gull +'em just as easy. Make 'em think the moon is made of g-g-green +cheese—way to catch larks is to p-p-pull the heavens +down—extract sunbeams from c-c-cucumbers and all the rest! +There's one master-weakness, Davy. They all think they are sick, or +if they d-d-don't, you can make 'em!"</p> +<p>"What! Make a well man think he is sick?" the Quaker asked in +astonishment.</p> +<p>"Sure! That's the secret of success. I can pick out the +strongest man in the c-c-crowd and in five minutes have pains +shooting through him like g-g-greased lightning. They are all like +jumping-jacks to the man that knows them. You watch me pull the +string and you-you'll see them wig-wig-wiggle."</p> +<p>"It seems a pity to take advantage of such weakness in our +fellow men," said David, whose heart began to suffer qualms as he +contemplated this rascality and his own connection with it.</p> +<p>"Fellow men! They are no fellows of mine. They are nuts for me +to c-c-crack. They are oysters for me to open!" responded the +quack, as he drove gaily into the public square and checked the +horses, who stood with their proud necks arched, champing their +bits and looking around at the crowd as if they shared their +master's contempt.</p> +<p>Pepeeta descended from the carriage and made her way hastily +into the tent which had already been pitched for her. The doctor +lighted his torch and set his stock of goods in order while David, +obeying his directions, began to move among the people to study +their habits. Elbowing his way here and there, he contemplated the +crowd in the light of the quack's philosophy, and as he did so +received a series of painful mental shocks.</p> +<p>"The first principle in the art of painting a picture is to know +where to sit down;" in other words, everything depends upon the +point of view. Now that David began to look for evidences of the +weaknesses and follies of his fellow men, he saw them everywhere. +For the first time in his life he observed that startling +prevalence of animal types which always communicates such a shock +to the mind of him who has never discovered it before. Every +countenance suddenly seemed to be the face of a beast, but thinly +and imperfectly veiled. There were foxes and tigers and wolves, +there were bulldogs and monkeys and swine. He had always seen, or +thought he saw, upon the foreheads of his fellow men some evidence +of that divinity which had been communicated to them when God +breathed into the great first father the breath of life; but now he +shuddered at the sight of those thick lips and drooping jaws, those +dull or crafty eyes, those sullen, sodden, gargoyle features, as +men do at beholding monstrosities.</p> +<p>A few weeks ago he would have felt a profound pity at this +discovery, but so rapid and radical had been the alteration in his +feelings that he was now seized by a sudden revulsion and contempt. +"Are these creatures really men?" he asked himself. He stood there +among them taller, straighter, keener, handsomer than them all, and +the old feelings that have made men aristocrats and tyrants in +every age of the world, surged in his heart and hardened it against +them.</p> +<p>By this time the quack had finished his few simple preparations, +and, standing erect before his audience, began the business of the +evening.</p> +<p>Having observed the habits of the game, David now chose a +favorable position to study those of the hunter. He watched with an +almost breathless interest every expression upon that sinister face +and listened with a boundless interest to every word that fell from +those treacherous lips.</p> +<p>He was not long in justifying the quack's honest criticism of +his own oratory. His voice lacked the vibrant tones of a musical +instrument and his rhetoric that fluency, without which the highest +effects of eloquence can never be attained. By speaking very slowly +and deliberately he avoided stammering, but this always acted like +a dragging anchor upon the movement of his thought. These were +radical defects, but in every other respect he was a consummate +artist. He arrested the attention of his hearers with an inimitable +skill and held it with an irresistible power.</p> +<p>His piercing eye noted every expression on the faces of his +hearers, and seemed to read the inmost secrets of their hearts. He +perceived the slightest inclination to purchase, and was as keen to +see a hand steal towards a pocket-book as a cat to see a mouse +steal out of its hole.</p> +<p>He coaxed, he wheedled, he bantered, he abused,—he even +threatened. He fulfilled his promise to the letter, "to make the +well men think that they were sick," and many a stalwart +frontiersman whose body was as sound as an ox, began to be +conscious of racking pains.</p> +<p>Nor were those legitimate arts of oratory the only ones which +this arch-knave practiced.</p> +<p>"I gave you two dollars, and you only gave me change for one," +cried a thin-faced, stoop-shouldered, helpless-looking fellow, who +had just purchased a bottle of the "Balm of the Blessed +Islands."</p> +<p>With lightning-like legerdemain the quack had shuffled this bill +to the bottom of his pile, and lifting up the one that lay on top, +exposed it to the view of his audience.</p> +<p>"That's a lie!" he said, in his slow, impressive manner. "There +is always such a man as this in every crowd. Some one is always +trying to take advantage of those who, like myself, are living for +the public good. Gentlemen, you saw me lay the b-b-bill he gave me +down upon the top! Here it is; judge for yourselves. That is a bad +man! Beware of him!"</p> +<p>The bold effrontery of the quack silenced the timid customer, +who could only blush and look confused. His blushes and confusion +condemned him and the crowd hustled him away from the wagon. They +believed him guilty and he half believed it of himself.</p> +<p>David, who had seen the bill and knew the victim's innocence but +not the doctor's fraud, pressed forward to defend him. The quack +stopped and silenced him with an inimitable wink, and then +instantly and with consummate art diverted his auditors with a +series of droll stories which he always reserved for emergencies +like this. They were old and thread-bare, but this was the reason +he chose them. He had one for every circumstance and occasion.</p> +<p>There was a man standing in an outer circle of the crowd around +whose forehead was a bandage. "Come here, my friend," said the +quack. "How did you get this wound? Don't want to tell? Oh! well, +that is natural. A horse kicked him, no doubt; never got it in a +row! No! No! Couldn't any one hit him! Reminds me of the man who +saw a big black-and-blue spot on his boy's forehead. 'My son,' said +he, 'I thought I told you not to fight? How did you get this +wound?' 'I bit it, father,' replied the boy.</p> +<p>"'Bit it!' exclaimed the old man in astonishment, 'how could you +bite yourself upon the forehead?'</p> +<p>"'I climbed onto a chair,' says he.</p> +<p>"And have you been climbing on a chair to bite your forehead, +too, my friend?" he asked with humorous gravity, while a loud +guffaw went up from the crowd.</p> +<p>"Well," he continued soothingly, "whether you did it or not, +just let me rub a little of this b-b-balm upon it, and by to-morrow +morning it will be well. There! that's right. One dollar is all it +costs. You don't want it? What the d-d-deuce did you let me open +the b-b-bottle for? I'll leave it to the crowd if that is fair? +There, that is right. Pay for it like a man. It's worth double its +price. Thank you. By to-morrow noon you will b-b-be sending me a +testimonial to its value. Do you want to hear some of my +testimonials, gentlemen?"</p> +<p>The crowd shuffled and stood over on its other foot. The doctor, +putting an enormous pair of spectacles upon his nose, took up a +piece of paper and pretended to read slowly and carefully to avoid +stammering:</p> +<p>"'Dr. Aesculapius.</p> +<p>"'Dear Sir: I was wounded in the Mexican war. I have been unable +to walk without crutches for many years; but after using your +liniment, I ran for office!' Think of it, gentlemen, the day of +miracles has not passed. 'I lost my eyesight four years ago, but +used a bottle of your "wash" and saw wood.' Saw wood, gentlemen, +what do you think of that? He saw wood! 'Some time ago I lost the +use of both arms; but a kind friend furnished me with a box of your +pills, and the next day I struck a man for ten dollars.' There is a +triumph of the medical art, my friends. And yet even this is +surpassed by the following: 'I had been deaf for many years, stone +deaf; but after using your ointment, I heard that my aunt had died +and left me ten thousand dollars.' Think of it, gentlemen, ten +thousand dollars! And a written guarantee goes with every bottle, +that the first thing a stone-deaf man will hear after using this +medicine will be that his aunt has died and left him ten thousand +dollars."</p> +<p>During all these varied operations, David had never taken his +eyes from the face of the quack. Even his quick wit had often been +baffled by the almost superhuman adroitness of this past +grandmaster of his art.</p> +<p>The novelty of the scene, the skill of the principal actor, the +rapid growth of the piles of coin and bills, the frantic desire of +the people to be gulled, all served to obscure those elements which +were calculated to appeal to the Quaker's conscience. He felt like +one awakened from a dream. While he was still in the half dazed +condition of such an awakening, the quack gave him a sign that this +part of his lesson was ended, and following the direction of the +thumb which he threw over his shoulder towards Pepeeta's tent, he +eagerly took his way thither.</p> +<p>Before the door stood several groups of young men and maidens, +talking under their breath as if in the presence of some august +deity. Now and then a couple disentangled itself from the crowd, +and with visible trepidation entered. As they reappeared, their +friends gathered about them and besought them to disclose the +secrets they had discovered.</p> +<p>Some of them giggled and simpered, others laughed boisterously +and skeptically, while others still, looked scared and anxious. It +was evident that even those who tried to make light of what they +had seen and heard were moved by something awe-inspiring.</p> +<p>David listened to their silly talk, observed their bold demeanor +and their vulgar manners, while the impression of weakness, of +stupidity, of the lowness and beastiality of humanity made upon his +mind by the aged and the mature, was intensified by his observation +of the young and callow.</p> +<p>He did not anywhere see a spark of true nobility. He did not +hear a word of wisdom. Everything was moving on a low, material and +animal plane. He felt that manhood and womanhood was not what he +had believed it to be.</p> +<p>From the outside of the gypsy's tent, he could make but few +discoveries of her method; and he waited impatiently until the last +curious couple had departed. When they had disappeared, he +entered.</p> +<p>At the opposite side of the tent and reclining upon a low divan +was the gypsy. Above her head a tallow candle was burning dimly. +Before her was a rough table covered with a shawl, upon which were +scattered cups of tea with floating grounds, ivory dice, cards, +coins and other implements of the "Black Art."</p> +<p>Pepeeta sprang to her feet when she saw who her visitor was, and +exhibited the clearest signs of agitation. David's own emotions +were not less violent, for although the gypsy's surroundings were +poor and mean, they served rather to enhance than to diminish her +exquisite beauty. Her shoulders and arms were bare, and on her +wrists were gold bracelets of writhing serpents in whose eyes +gleamed diamonds. On her fingers and in her ears were other costly +stones. Her dress was silk, and rustled when she moved, with soft +and sibilant sounds.</p> +<p>"The doctor has sent me here to study the methods by which you +do your work," said David approaching the table and gazing at her +with undisguised admiration.</p> +<p>"You should have come before. How can you study my methods when +I am not practicing them? And any way, you have no faith in them. +Have you? I always had until I heard your sermon in the little +meeting house."</p> +<p>"And have you lost it now?"</p> +<p>"It has been sadly shaken."</p> +<p>"You can at least show me how you practice the art, even if you +have lost your faith in it. I too have lost a faith; but we must +live. What are these cards for?"</p> +<p>"If you wish me to show you, you may shuffle and cut them, but I +would rather tell your fortune by your hand, for I have more faith +in palmistry than in cards."</p> +<p>He extended his hand; she took it, and with her right forefinger +began to trace the lines. Her gaze had that intensity with which a +little child peers into the mechanism of a watch or an astronomer +into the depths of space.</p> +<p>A thrill of emotion shot through the frame of the Quaker at the +touch of those delicate and beautiful fingers.</p> +<p>The contrast between his own hands and hers was marked enough to +be almost ridiculous. Hers were tiny, soft and white. His were +large, brown and calloused. He thought to himself, "It is as if two +little white mice were playing about an enormous trap which in a +moment may seize them."</p> +<p>Neither of them, spoke. The delicate finger of the gypsy moved +over the lines of the palm like that of a little school-girl over +the pages of a primer. They did not realize how dangerous was that +proximity, nor how fatal that touch. Through those two poles of +Nature's most powerful battery, the magnetic and mysterious current +of love was passing.</p> +<p>"What do you see?" said David, at last.</p> +<p>"Shall I tell you?" she asked, lifting her eyes to his.</p> +<p>"If you please," he said.</p> +<p>"I will do so if you wish; but if the story of your life is +really written in the palm of your hands, it is sad indeed, and you +would be happier if you knew it not."</p> +<p>"But it is not written there. I do not believe it, nor do +you."</p> +<p>"Let us hope that it is not," she answered, and began the +following monologue in a low musical monotone:</p> +<p>"Marked as it is with the signs of toil, this hand has still +retained all those characteristics that an artist would choose as a +model. It is perfect in its form. The palm is of medium size, the +fingers without knots, the third phalanges are all long and +pointed, and the thumb is beautifully shaped. Whoever possesses a +hand like this must be guided by ideals. He is a worshiper of the +sublime and beautiful. He disdains small achievements, embarks +enthusiastically upon forlorn hopes, and is spurred to victory by +the fervor of his desires.</p> +<p>"See this thumb! How finely it is pointed. The first phalanx is +short, and indicates that above all other things he is a man of +heart and will be dominated by his affections. He will yield to +temptations, perhaps; but the second phalanx is long and reveals a +power of reason and logic which will probably triumph at last."</p> +<p>Not a single word of all this had David heard. Her voice sounded +to him like the low droning of bees in a meadow, and he had been +watching the movements of her fingers, as he used to watch the +dartings of the minnows in the pools of the brook which ran through +his farm.</p> +<p>"How smooth the fingers are! And how they taper to the cone," +continued Pepeeta. "Here is this one of Jupiter, for example. How +plainly it tells of religiousness and perhaps of fanaticism! The +Sun finger is not long. Nay, it is not long enough. There is too +little love of glory here. And the Saturnian finger is too long. +The life is too much under the dominion of Fate or Destiny. The +Mercurial finger is short. He will be firm in his friendships. The +moons all correspond. They, also, are too large. The Mount of +Venus, here at the base of the thumb, is excessively developed, and +indicates capacity for gentleness, for chivalry, for tenderness and +love. The Mount of the Moon is small. That is good. There will be +no disturbance of the brain, no propensity towards lunacy. Mars is +not excessive, but it is strong, and he will be bold and +courageous, but not quarrelsome."</p> +<p>The pleasant murmur of the voice, the gentle pressure of her +hand, her nearness and her beauty, had rendered the Quaker +absolutely oblivious to her words.</p> +<p>"Let me now examine the lines," she continued. "Here is the line +of the heart. It passes clear across the palm. It is well marked at +every point and is most pronounced upon the upper side. The love +will not be a sensual passion, but look! it is joined to the head +below the finger of Saturn. It is the sign of a violent death! +Heavens!"</p> +<p>As she uttered this exclamation, she pressed the hand +convulsively between her own, and looked up into his face.</p> +<p>The involuntary and sudden action recalled him to his +consciousness. "What did you say?" he asked.</p> +<p>"Have you not been listening?" she replied, repressing both her +anxiety and her annoyance.</p> +<p>"No; was it a good story or a bad one which you were +reading?"</p> +<p>"It was both."</p> +<p>"Well—it is no matter, those accidental marks can have no +significance."</p> +<p>"Do you think so?"</p> +<p>"I am sure."</p> +<p>"You do not believe in any signs?"</p> +<p>"None."</p> +<p>"You know that the traveler on the desert told the Bedouin that +he did not, and yet from the foot prints of the camels the Bedouin +deciphered the whole history of a caravan."</p> +<p>Astonished at her reply, David did not answer.</p> +<p>"And then, you know," she continued, "there are the weather +signs."</p> +<p>"Yes—that is so."</p> +<p>"And what are the letters of a book but signs?"</p> +<p>"You are right again."</p> +<p>"And is not hardness a sign of something in a stone, and heat of +something in fire? And are not deeds the sign of some quality in a +man's soul, and the expressions of his face signs of emotions of +his heart?"</p> +<p>"They are."</p> +<p>"So that by his gait and gestures each man says: 'I am a +farmer—a quack—a Quaker—a soldier—a +priest'?"</p> +<p>"This, too, is true."</p> +<p>"Why, then, should not the character and destiny of the man +disclose itself in signs and marks upon his hands?"</p> +<p>David was too much astonished by these words to answer. They +revealed a mental power which he had not even suspected her of +possessing. He discovered that while she was as ignorant as a child +in the realms of thought to which she had been unaccustomed, in her +sphere of experience and reflection she was both shrewd and +deep.</p> +<p>"You have thought much about this matter," he said.</p> +<p>"Too much, perhaps."</p> +<p>"It is deeper than I knew."</p> +<p>"And so is everything deeper than we know. Tell me, if you can, +why it is that having met you I have lost faith in my art, and +having met me you have lost faith in your religion."</p> +<p>"It is strange."</p> +<p>"Something must be true. Do you not think so?"</p> +<p>"I have begun to doubt it."</p> +<p>"I believe that what <i>you</i> said is true."</p> +<p>As they stood thus confronting each other, they would have +presented a study of equal interest to the artist or to the +philosopher. There was both a poem and a picture in their attitude. +Grace and beauty revealed themselves on every feature and in every +movement. They had arrived at one of those dramatic points in their +life-journey, where all the tragic elements of existence seem to +converge. Agitated by incomprehensible and delicious emotions, +confronting insoluble problems, longing, hoping, fearing, they +hovered over the ocean of life like two tiny sparrows swept out to +sea by a tempest.</p> +<p>The familiar objects and landmarks had all vanished. As children +rise in the morning to find the chalk lines, inside of which they +had played their game of "hop-scotch," washed out by the rain, they +had awakened to find that the well known pathways and barriers over +which and within which they had been accustomed to move had all +been obliterated. They had nothing to guide them and nothing to +restrain them except what was written in their hearts, and this +mysterious hieroglyph they had not yet learned to decipher.</p> +<p>They were awakened from their reveries by the footsteps of the +quack, and by his raucous voice summoning them back into the world +of realities from which they had withdrawn so completely.</p> +<p>"Well, little wife," he said, "how is b-b-business?"</p> +<p>"Fair," she said, gathering up a double hand-full of change and +passing it over to him indifferently.</p> +<p>The question fell upon the ears of the Quaker like a thunder +bolt. It was to him the first intimation that Pepeeta was not the +daughter of the quack. "His wife!" The heart of the youth sank in +his bosom. Here was a new and unexpected complication. What should +he do? It was too late to turn back now. The die had been cast, and +he must go forward.</p> +<p>The doctor rattled on with an unceasing flow of talk, while the +mind of the Quaker plunged into a series of violent efforts to +adjust itself to this new situation. He tried to force himself to +be glad that he had been mistaken. He for the first time fully +admitted the significance of the qualms which he felt at permitting +himself to regard this strolling gypsy with such feelings as had +been in his heart.</p> +<p>"But now," he said to himself, "I can go forward with less +compunction. I can gratify my desire for excitement and adventure +with perfect safety. I will stay with them for a while, and when I +am tired can leave them without any entanglements." When the +situation had been regarded for a little while from this point of +view, he felt happier and more care-free than for weeks. He solaced +his disappointment with the reflection that he should still be near +Pepeeta, but no longer in any danger.</p> +<p>At this profound reflection of the young moth hovering about the +flame, let the satirist dip his pen in acid, and the pessimist in +gall! There is enough folly and stupidity in the operations of the +human mind to provoke the one to contempt and the other to +despair.</p> +<p>The cuttle-fish throws out an inky substance to conceal itself +from its enemies; but the soul ejects an opaque vapor in which to +hide from itself! In this mist of hallucination which rises and +envelopes us, the whole appearance of life alters. Passion and +desire repress the judgment and pervert the conscience. Conclusions +that are illogical, expectations that are irrational and +confidences that are groundless to the most final and fatal +absurdity seem as natural and reasonable as intuitions.</p> +<p>It is not in human nature to escape this perversion of thought +and feeling under the stress of temptation. One may as well try to +prevent the rise of temperature in the blood in the rage of fever. +There are times when even the upright in heart must withdraw to the +safe covert of the inner sanctuary and there fervently put up the +master prayer of the soul, "Lord, lead me not into temptation!" But +if necessity or duty calls them out into the midst of life's +dangers, let them remember that what they feel in the calm retreat, +is not what will surge through their disordered intellects and +their bounding pulses when they come within the reach of those +fearful fascinations!</p> +<p>It was such a prayer that David had need of when he gave his +hand to the gypsy.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.</h2> +<h3>FOUND WANTING</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"How oft the sight of means to do ill deeds makes ill deeds +done!"—King John.</p> +</div> +<p>The spring and summer had passed, autumn had attained the +fullness of its golden beauty, and the inevitable had happened. +David and Pepeeta had passed swiftly though not unresistingly +through all the intervening stages between a chance acquaintance +and an impassioned love.</p> +<p>Any other husband than the quack would have foreseen this +catastrophe; but there is one thing blinder than love, and that is +egotism such as his. His colossal vanity had not even suspected +that a woman who possessed him for her husband could for a single +instant bestow a thought of interest on any other man.</p> +<p>Astute student of men, penetrating judge of motive and conduct +that he was, he daily beheld the evolution of a tragedy in which he +was the victim, with all the indifference of a lamb observing the +preparations for its slaughter. Because of this ignorance and +indifference, the fellowship of these two young people had been as +intimate as that of brother and sister in a home, and this new life +had wrought an extraordinary transformation in the habits and +character of both.</p> +<p>David had abandoned the Quaker idiom for the speech of ordinary +men, and discarded his former habiliments for the most conventional +and stylish clothes. Contact with the world had sharpened his +native wit, and given him a freedom among men and women, that was +fast descending into abandon. Success had stimulated his +self-confidence and made him prize those gifts by which he had once +aroused the devotion of adoring worshipers in the Quaker meeting +house; he soon found that they could be used to victimize the +crowds which gathered around the flare of the torch in the public +square.</p> +<p>That which his friends had once dignified by the name of +spiritual power had deteriorated into something but little above +animal magnetism. He had learned to cherish a profound contempt for +men and morals, and the shrewd maxims which the quack had instilled +into his mind became the governing principles of his conduct. Those +qualities which he had inherited from his dissolute father, and +which had been so long submerged, were upheaved, while all that he +had received from his mother by birth and education sank out of +sight and memory. Three elemental passions assumed complete +possession of his soul—the love of admiration, of gambling +and of the gypsy.</p> +<p>A transformation of an exactly opposite character had been +taking place in Pepeeta. Under the sunshine of David's love, and +the dew of those spiritual conceptions which had fallen upon her +thirsty spirit, the seeds of a beautiful nature, implanted at her +birth, germinated and developed with astonishing rapidity. Walking +steadily in such light as fell upon her pathway and ever looking +for more, her spiritual vision became clearer and clearer every +day; and while this affection for God purified her soul, her love +for David expanded and transformed her heart. Her unbounded +admiration for him blinded her to that process of deterioration in +his character which even the quack perceived. To her partial eye a +halo still surrounded the head of the young apostate. But while +these two new affections wrought this sudden transformation in the +gypsy and filled her with a new and exquisite happiness, the +circumstances of her life were such that this illumination could +not but be attended with pain, for it brought ever new revelations +of those ethical inconsistencies in which she discovered herself to +be deeply if not hopelessly involved.</p> +<p>There was, in the first place, the inevitable conflict between +her new sense of duty, and the life of deception which she was +leading. The practice of her art of fortune-telling was daily +becoming a source of unendurable pain as she saw more and more +clearly the duty of leaving the future to God and living her daily +life in humble, child-like faith. And in the second place, she was +slowly awaking to the terrifying consciousness that her affection +for David was producing a violent and ungovernable disgust for her +husband.</p> +<p>By the flood of sorrows which poured from these two discoveries, +she seemed to be completely overwhelmed and if, like a diver, she +rose to the sunlight now and then, it was only to seize a few +breaths of air by which she might be able to endure her existence +in the depths to which she was compelled to return.</p> +<p>No wonder that life became a mystery to this poor child. It +seemed as if its difficulties increased in a direct ratio with her +wish to discharge its duties; as if the darkness gained upon the +light, and the burden grew heavy, faster than her shoulders grew +strong.</p> +<p>The discovery of the nature of that affection which she felt for +David had been slow and unwelcome, coming to her even before +David's protestations of his love; yet one day the passionate +feelings of their hearts found expression in wild and startling +confessions. They were terrified at what they told each other; but +it became necessary therefore to seek the comfort of still other +confessions and confidences.</p> +<p>Their interviews had steadily become more ardent and more +dangerous; and the doctor's negligence giving them the utmost +freedom, they often spent hours together in wandering about the +cities they visited, or the fields and woods lying near.</p> +<p>On one of these tramps, their relationship reached a critical +stage. It was the early morning of a beautiful autumn day that they +strolled up Broadway in the city of Cincinnati, turned into the +Reading road, and sauntered slowly out into the country.</p> +<p>"In which direction shall we go?" asked David.</p> +<p>"Let us wander without thought or purpose, like those beautiful +clouds," Pepeeta answered, pointing upward.</p> +<p>David watched them silently for a moment and then said, +"Pepeeta, men and women are like those clouds. They either drift +apart forever, or meet and mingle into one. It must be so with +us."</p> +<p>She walked silently by his side, sobered by the seriousness of +his voice and words.</p> +<p>"Perhaps," he continued, "it makes but little difference what +becomes of us, for our lives are like the clouds, a morning mist, a +momentary exhalation. And yet, how filled with joy or woe is this +moment of parting or commingling! Pepeeta, I have decided that this +day must terminate my suspense. I cannot endure it any longer. I +must know before night whether our lives are to be united or +divided. You have told me that you love me, and yet you will not +give yourself to me. What am I to think of this?"</p> +<p>"My friend," she cried with an infinite pain in her voice, "how +can you force me to such a decision when you know all the +difficulties of my life? How can you thus forget that I have a +husband?"</p> +<p>"I do not forget it," he answered bitterly, "I cannot forget it. +It is an eternal demonstration of the madness of faith in any kind +of Providence. It makes me hate an order which unites a lion to a +lamb, and marries a dove to a hawk! You say that you loathe this +man! Then leave him and come with me! The world lies before us. We +are as free as those clouds!"</p> +<p>"We are not free, and neither are they," she answered. +"Something binds them to their pathway, as it binds me to mine. I +cannot leave it. I must tread it even though I have to tread it +alone."</p> +<p>"You can leave it if you will; but if you will not, I must know +the reason why."</p> +<p>"Oh! why will you not see? I have tried so hard to show you! I +have told you that there is a voice which speaks within my soul, +that to it I must listen and that the inward light of which you +told me shines upon the path and I must follow it."</p> +<p>"I could curse that inward light! Must I be always confronted by +the ravings of my youth? All my life long must the words of my +credulous childhood hang about my neck like a millstone? There is +no inward light. You are living a delusion. You are restrained by +the conventionalities of life and are the slave of the customs of +society. Because the miserable herd of mankind is willing to submit +to that galling yoke of marriage, does it follow that you must? By +what right can society demand that men and women who abhor each +other should be doomed to pass their lives in hopeless agony? +Against such laws I protest! I defy those customs. The path of life +is short. We go this way but once! Who is to refuse us all the joy +that we can find? There will be sorrow enough, any way!"</p> +<p>"Oh! my friend, do not talk so! Do not break my heart! Have pity +on me. I know that it is hard for you; but it is I who have to +suffer most. It is I who must continually exert this terrible +resistance which alone keeps us from being swept away. Have mercy, +David! Spare me a little longer. Spare me this one day at least. If +any troubled heart had ever need of the rest and peace of such a +day as this, it is mine! Let us give ourselves up to these soothing +influences. Let us wander. Let us dream and let us love."</p> +<p>"Love! This accursed Platonic affection is not love," he +answered savagely.</p> +<p>"David," she said with an enforced calmness, "you must not speak +so. It will do no good. There is something in me stronger than this +passion. From the bottom of my soul there has come a sense of duty +to a power higher than myself and I will be true to it. I believe +that it is God who speaks. You may appeal to my mind, and I cannot +answer you, but my heart has reasons of its own higher than the +reason itself. It was you who told me this! You told me when you +were so beautiful, so good, so true that I know you were right, and +I shall never doubt it. I am not what I was. I am, oh! so +different. I cannot understand; but I am different."</p> +<p>There was in this delicate and ethereal girl who spoke so +fearlessly something which held the man, strong in his physical +might, in an inexplicable and irresistible awe. Before a mountain, +beside the sea, beneath the stars and in the presence of a virtuous +woman, emotions of wonder and reverence possess the souls of +men.</p> +<p>Subdued by this influence, David said, with more gentleness: +"But what are we to do? We cannot live in this way. We have been +forced into a situation from which we must escape, even if we have +to act against our consciences."</p> +<p>"I do not think that this is so! I do not believe that any one +can be placed against his will in a situation that is opposed to +his conscience! There must be some other way to do. A door will +open. Let us wait and hope a little longer. Let us have another +happy day at least," Pepeeta said.</p> +<p>Heaving a sigh and shrugging his shoulders as if to throw off a +burden, David answered, "Well, let it be as you wish. I have had to +suffer so much that perhaps I can endure it a little longer. I do +not want to make you unhappy. I will try."</p> +<p>"Oh! thank you, thank you a thousand times; that is like +yourself!" Pepeeta said, her face aglow with gratitude.</p> +<p>It was a light from the soul itself that shone through the thin +transparency of that face, pale with thought and suffering, and +gave it its new radiance.</p> +<p>The world around them was steeped in autumn beauty. A gigantic +smile was on the face of Nature. Fleecy, fleeting clouds were +chasing each other across the blue dome of the heavens. The hazy +atmosphere of the Indian summer softened the landscape and lent it +a mystical and unearthly charm. The forests were resplendent with +those brilliant colors which appear like a last flush of life upon +the dying face of summer, as she sinks into her wintry grave. The +autumn birds were singing; the autumn flowers were blooming; yellow +golden rod and scarlet sumach glowed in the corners of the fences; +locusts chirped in treetops; grasshoppers stridulated in the +meadows, one or two of them making more noise than a whole drove of +cattle lying peacefully chewing their cud beneath an umbrageous elm +and lifting up their great, tranquil, blinking eyes to the morning +sun. Here and there boys and girls could be seen in the vineyards +and orchards gathering grapes and apples. Farmers were cutting +their grain and stacking it in great brown shocks, digging +potatoes, or plowing the fertile soil. Now and then a traveler met +or passed them, clucking to his horses and hurrying to the city +with his produce. Amid these gracious influences, life gradually +lost its stern reality and took on the characteristics of a +pleasant dream. The fever and unrest abated, burdens weighed less +heavily, sorrow became less poignant; the finer joys of both the +waking and sleeping hours of existence were mysteriously +blended.</p> +<p>Sharp and irritating as the encounter had been between the two +lovers, the momentary antipathy passed away as they moved along. +They drew nearer together; they lifted their eyes furtively; their +glances met; they smiled; they spoke; their sympathies flowed back +into the old channel; their hopes and affections mingled. They gave +themselves up to joy with the abandon of youth, falling into that +mood in which everything pleases and delights. Nature did not need +to tell them her secrets aloud, for they comprehended her whispers +and grasped her meaning from sly hints. They melted into her +moods.</p> +<p>What joys were theirs! To be young; to be drawn together by an +affinity which produced a mysterious and ineffable happiness; to +wander aimlessly over the earth; to yield to every passing fancy; +to dream; to hope; to love. It was the culminating hour of their +lives.</p> +<p>Passing through the little village since called Avondale, they +turned down what is now the Clinton Springs road, climbed a hill, +descended its other slope, and came upon an old spring house where, +as they paused to drink, David scratched their names with his +penknife on one of the stones of the walls, where they may be read +to-day.</p> +<p>Leaving the turnpike, they entered a grove through which flowed +a noisy stream; cast themselves upon a bank, bathed their faces, +ate their lunch and rested. There for a few moments, in the +tranquil and uplifting influence of the silence and the solitude, +all that was best in their natures came to the surface. Pepeeta +nestled down among the roots of a great beech tree, her hat flung +upon the ground by her side, her arms folded across her bosom, her +face upturned like a flower drinking in the sunshine or the rain. +At her feet her lover reclined, his head upon his arms and his gaze +fixed upon the canopy of leaves which spread above them and through +which as the branches swayed in the breeze he caught glimpses of +the sky.</p> +<p>Pepeeta broke the silence. "I could stay here forever," she +said. "I nestle here in the roots of this great tree like a little +child in the arms of its mother. I feel that everything around me +is my friend. I feel, not as if I were different from other things, +but as if I were a part of them. Do you comprehend? Do you feel +that way?"</p> +<p>"More than at any time since leaving home," he said. "That was +the way I always felt in the old days—how far away they seem! +I could then sit for hours beside a brook like this, and thoughts +of God would flow over my soul like water over the stones; and now +I do not think of Him at all! It was by a brook like this that we +first met. Do you remember, Pepeeta?"</p> +<p>"I shall never forget."</p> +<p>"Are you sure?"</p> +<p>"As certain as that I live."</p> +<p>"Sure—certain! Of what are we sure but the present moment? +Into it we ought to crowd all the joys of existence."</p> +<p>Her feminine instinct discovered the return of his thoughts into +the old dangerous channel, and her quick wit diverted them.</p> +<p>"Tell me more about your home, and how you felt when you used to +sit like this and think."</p> +<p>He determined to yield himself for a little while longer to her +will, and said: "In those days Nature possessed for me an +irresistible fascination; but the spell is broken now. I then +thought that I was face to face with the eternal spirit of the +universe. How far I have drifted away from the world in which I +then existed! I could never return to it. I am like a bird which +has broken its shell and which can never be put back again. I have +found another face into which I now look with still deeper wonder +than into that of Nature, and which exerts a still deeper +fascination. It is the face of a woman, in whom all the beauties of +nature seem to be mirrored. She is everything to me; she is the +entire universe embodied in a gentle heart."</p> +<p>He gazed at her with a look that made her pulses beat; but she +was determined not to permit him to drift back into that dangerous +mood from which she had drawn him with such difficulty.</p> +<p>"One time you told me," she said, "that the birds and squirrels +were such good friends to you, that if you called them they would +come to you like your dog. I should love to see that. Look! There +is a squirrel sitting on the limb of this very tree! How saucy he +looks! How shy! Bring him to me! I command you! You have said that +I am your mistress; go, slave!"</p> +<p>Rising to her feet she pointed to the squirrel. Her lithe form +was outlined against the green background of the forest in a pose +of exquisite grace and beauty, her eyes glowed with animation, and +her lips smiled with the consciousness of power. It was impossible +to resist her.</p> +<p>He rose, looked in the direction toward which she pointed, and +saw the squirrel cheeping among the branches. Imitating its cries, +he began to move slowly toward it. The little creature pricked up +its ears, cocked its head on one side, flirted its bushy tail and +watched the approaching figure suspiciously. As it drew nearer and +nearer, he began to creep down the branches. Stopping now and then +to reconnoiter, he started forward again; paused; retreated; +returned, and still continued to advance, until he was within a +foot or two of David's hand, which he examined first with one eye +and then the other and made a motion as if to spring upon it. +Suddenly the spell was broken. With a wild flirt of his tail and a +loud outcry, he sprang up the tree and disappeared in the +foliage.</p> +<p>David watched him until he had vanished, and then turned toward +Pepeeta with a look of disappointment and chagrin.</p> +<p>"It is too bad," she cried, hastening toward him +sympathetically, "but see, there is a redbird on the top of that +old birch tree. Try again! You will have better success this time, +I am sure you will."</p> +<p>He determined to make another experiment. The brilliant songster +was pouring out his heart in that fine cry of strength and hope +which he sends resounding over hill and vale. Suddenly hearing his +own voice repeated to him in an echo sweet and pure as his own +song, he fluttered his wings, peered this way and that, and sang +again. Once more the answering call resounded, true as an image in +a mirror.</p> +<p>David now began to move with greater caution than before toward +the little creature, who looked at him with curious glances. Back +and forth resounded the sweet antiphonal, and the bird hopped down +a branch or two. Neither of the actors in this woodland drama +removed his eyes from the other, and the spectator watched them +both with breathless interest.</p> +<p>Presently David lifted his hands—the palms closed together +in the form of a cup or nest. The songster bent farther forward on +the twig, and suddenly with a downward plunge shot straight toward +them; but just as his tiny feet touched the fingers, turned as the +squirrel had done, and uttering a loud cry of terror flew away. +David dropped his hands and his eyes.</p> +<p>"I have lost my power," he said sadly.</p> +<p>"You are out of practice, you must exercise it oftener. It will +all come back," Pepeeta responded cheerfully.</p> +<p>They walked slowly and silently back to the place where they had +been sitting, and David began tossing pebbles into the brook.</p> +<p>"Three times to-day," he said, pausing and turning toward +Pepeeta, "I have opened my hands and my heart, and each time the +object whose love I sought has fluttered away from me in terror or +repugnance."</p> +<p>"Oh! no, not in terror and repugnance," she said eagerly.</p> +<p>"Am I then incapable of exciting love?" he asked.</p> +<p>"You will break my heart if you speak so. I love you more than I +love my own life."</p> +<p>"I do not believe it. Can I believe that the squirrel and the +redbird love me, when they flee from me? If they had loved me, they +would have come to me and nestled to my heart. And so would you. I +have come back to the old subject. I cannot refrain any longer. +Will you go with me, or will you not?"</p> +<p>"Oh! David," she cried, wringing her hands, "why, why will you +break my heart? Why can you not permit me to finish this day in +peace? Wait until some other time. Why can you not enjoy this +present moment? I could wish it to last forever, if you were only +kind. If the flight of time could be stopped, if we could be +forever what we are just now, I could not ask for any other thing. +See how beautiful the world is. See how happy we are. See how +everything hangs just like a balance! Do not speak, do not move; +one unkind word would jar and spoil it all."</p> +<p>"It is impossible," he cried roughly, "you must leave your +husband and come with me. You cannot put me off any longer. I am +desperate."</p> +<p>He was looking at her with eyes no longer full of pleading, but +of determination and command.</p> +<p>"What will you do?" he asked.</p> +<p>"Oh!" she answered, trembling, "why will you compel me to act? +Let something happen! Wait! It is not necessary always to act! +Sometimes it is better to sit still! We are in God's hands. Let us +trust Him. Has He not awakened this love in our hearts? He has not +made us love and long for each other only to thwart us!"</p> +<p>"Thwart us! Who coaxes the flowers from the ground, only that +the frost may nip them? Who opens the bud only to permit it to be +devoured by the worm? Who places the babe in its mother's arms only +to let it be snatched away by the hand of death? You cannot appeal +to me in that way," he retorted, bitterly.</p> +<p>"Do not speak so," she exclaimed with genuine terror. "It is +wicked to say such things in this quiet and holy place. Oh! why +have you lost that faith you once possessed? What has blinded your +eyes to the light that you taught me to see? I see it now! All will +be well! Something says to me in my heart, 'All will be well,' if +we only follow the light!"</p> +<p>Nothing could have given stronger proof that inspiration and +intuition are as natural and legitimate functions of the spiritual +nature as sensation and sense perception are of the physical, than +her words and looks. They would have convinced and mastered him, +except for the self-denial which they demanded of his love! But he +was now far past all reason.</p> +<p>"Pepeeta," he cried, approaching her, "you must be mine and mine +alone! I can no longer endure the thought of your being the wife of +another man. You must come with me. I will not take 'no' for an +answer. I command you to leave this man and go with me. It is a +worse crime for you to live with him when you hate him than to +leave him! Come, let us go! I have money! There are horses to be +had. He does not know where we are. Let us fly!"</p> +<p>It was evident that he had brooked her refusal as long as he +could. The man was mad. He seized her by the arm.</p> +<p>In a single instant this gentle creature passed through an +incredible transformation. She wrenched her arm from his hand and +stood before him fearless, resolute, magnificent! Her gypsy +training stood her in good stead now. Young as she was when a pupil +in that hard school, she had learned from her wild teachers the +cardinal principle of their code—<i>loyalty to her marriage +vows</i>. They had taught her to believe that this breach was the +one unpardonable sin.</p> +<p>She drew a little stiletto from the folds of her dress, placed +its point upon her heart and said: "It is not necessary that a +gypsy should live; but it is necessary that she should be +virtuous!"</p> +<p>Her resplendent beauty, her fearless courage, her invincible +determination quenched the wild impulses of the reckless youth in a +single instant. All the manhood, all the chivalry of his better +nature rose within him and did homage. He threw himself on his +knees and frantically besought her pardon.</p> +<p>In an instant the fierce light died from her eyes. She stooped +down, laid her hand on his arm, and with an all-forgiving charity +lifted him to his feet. They stood regarding each other in silence. +All that their souls could reveal had been manifested in actions. +The brief scene was terminated by a common impulse. They turned +their faces toward the city and walked quietly, each reflecting +silently upon the struggle that had been enacted and the denouement +which was yet to come.</p> +<p>In her ignorance and inexperience, Pepeeta hoped that a scene so +dreadful would quench the madness in her lover's soul; but this +revelation of the grandeur of her nature only inflamed his desires +the more. The momentary feeling of shame and penitence passed away. +His determination to possess her became more fixed than ever and +during the homeward walk assumed a definite form.</p> +<p>For a long time a sinister purpose had been rolling about in his +soul. That purpose now crystallized into resolution. He determined +to commit a crime if need be in order to gain his end.</p> +<p>Nothing can be more astonishing than the rapidity and ease with +which the mind becomes habituated to the presence of a criminal +intention. The higher faculties are at first disturbed, but they +soon become accustomed to the danger, and permit themselves to be +destroyed one after another, with only feeble protestations.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.</h2> +<h3>TURNED TEMPTER</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"All men have their +price."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Walpole.</span></p> +<p>The plan which David had chosen to compel Pepeeta to abandon her +husband was not a new one. For its execution he had already made a +partial preparation in an engagement to meet the justice of the +peace who had performed her marriage ceremony. The engagement was +conditioned upon his failure to persuade the gypsy to accompany him +of her own free will.</p> +<p>Immediately after supper he took his way to the place appointed +for the meeting. This civil officer had been a companion of the +quack's for many years. His natural capacity, which was of the +highest order, had secured him one place of honor after another; +but he had lost them through the practice of many vices, and had at +last sunk to that depth of degradation in which he was willing to +barter his honor for almost any price.</p> +<p>The place at which he had agreed to meet David was a low saloon +in one of the most disreputable parts of the city, and to this spot +the infatuated youth made his way. Now that he was alone with his +thoughts, he could not contemplate his purpose without a feeling of +dread, and yet he did not pause nor seriously consider its +abandonment. His movements, as he elbowed his way among the +outcasts who infested this degraded region, were those of a man +totally oblivious to his surroundings.</p> +<p>"Curse him," he muttered in an undertone, and did not know that +he had spoken.</p> +<p>To talk to one's self is so often a premonitory symptom of +either insanity or crime, that a policeman standing on the corner +eyed him closely and followed him down the street.</p> +<p>Having reached the door of the saloon, David cast a glance about +him, as if ashamed of being observed, and entered. It was a fitting +place to hatch an evil deed. The floor was covered with filthy +sawdust; the air was rank with the fumes of sour beer and +adulterated whisky; the lamps were not yet lighted, and his eyes +blinked as he entered the dirty dusk of the interior. Against the +wall were rude shelves strewn with bottles, decanters, jugs and +glasses. The landlord was leaning against the inside of the bar +glaring about him like an octopus. The habitues of the place, +looking more like scarecrows than men, stood opposite him with +their blear eyes uplifted in ecstasy, draining into their +insatiable throats the last precious drops from their upturned +glasses.</p> +<p>At a table four human shapes which seemed to be operated by some +kind of clumsy mechanical motors rather than animated by sentient +spirits were playing a game of chance and slapping the greasy cards +down upon the table to the accompaniment of coarse laughter and +hideous profanity.</p> +<p>The Quaker, who was not yet thoroughly enough corrupted to +witness this spectacle without horror, hurried through the room +like a man who has suddenly found himself in a pest-house. The door +which he pushed open admitted him to a parlor scarcely less dirty +and disgusting that the saloon itself, at the opposite end of +which, wreathed in a cloud of tobacco smoke, he beheld the object +of his search.</p> +<p>"Well, I see you are here," he said, drawing a chair to the +table.</p> +<p>"And waiting," a deep and rich but melancholy voice replied.</p> +<p>"Can't we have a couple of candles? These shadows seem to crawl +up my legs and take me by the throat. I feel as if some one were +blindfolding and gagging me," said David, looking uneasily +about.</p> +<p>The judge ordered the candles, and while they were waiting +observed: "You had better accustom yourself to shadows, young man, +for you will find plenty of them on the road you are traveling. +They deepen with the passing years, along every pathway; but the +one on which you are about to set your feet leads into the hopeless +dark."</p> +<p>These unexpected words agitated the soul of the young plotter, +but while he was still shuddering the barkeeper entered with the +candles and set them down on the table between the two men, who +found themselves vis-a-vis in the flickering gleams.</p> +<p>They leaned on their elbows and looked into each other's faces. +The contrast was remarkable. The countenance of the judge had +unquestionably once been noble, and perhaps also beautiful; but the +massive features were now coarsened by dissipation. A permanent +curl of scorn had wreathed itself around the mouth. A look of ennui +brooded over his features. One would as soon expect to see a flower +in the crater of a volcano as a smile on the lips of this extinct +man.</p> +<p>David's face was young and beautiful. The features were still +those of a saint, even if the aureole had for a time been eclipsed +by a cloud. These two human beings gazed incredulously at each +other for a moment.</p> +<p>"I was once like this youth," the judge was saying to himself +with a sigh.</p> +<p>"I shall never be like this beast," thought David with a shudder +of repulsion and disgust.</p> +<p>The "Justice" (grotesque parody) broke the silence.</p> +<p>"Did you succeed?" he asked.</p> +<p>"No," said David, sullenly.</p> +<p>"She would not yield, then?"</p> +<p>"No more than adamant or steel."</p> +<p>"You should have pressed her harder."</p> +<p>"I used my utmost skill."</p> +<p>"You are a novitiate, perhaps. An adept would have +succeeded."</p> +<p>"Not with her."</p> +<p>"Ah! who ever caught a trout at the first cast? What you need is +experience."</p> +<p>"What I want is help."</p> +<p>"And so you have appealed to me? You wish me to go to this woman +and tell her that her marriage was a fraud?"</p> +<p>"I do."</p> +<p>"There have been pleasanter tasks."</p> +<p>"Will you do it, or will you not?"</p> +<p>"Suppose she will not believe me?"</p> +<p>"You must compel her."</p> +<p>"Young man, have you no compunctions about this business?" said +the judge, leaning forward and looking earnestly into the blue +eyes.</p> +<p>"Compunctions?" said David, in a dry echo of the question.</p> +<p>"Yes, compunctions," replied the judge, repeating the word +again.</p> +<p>"Oh! some. But for every compunction I have a thousand desperate +determinations. Were you ever in love, Judge?"</p> +<p>"Yes, I have been in love, such love as yours, and that is why I +am what I am now."</p> +<p>As he uttered these words, he lifted the glass which his hand +had been toying with, drained it to the dregs, fixed his eyes on +David once more, and after regarding him a moment with a look of +pity, said slowly and solemnly: "Young man, I am about to give you +good advice. You smile? No wonder! But I beg you to listen to me. +Sometimes a shipwrecked sailor makes the best captain, for he knows +the force of the tempest. I have no conscience for myself, but some +unaccountable emotion impels me to bid you abandon this project. +Somehow, as I look at you, I cannot bear to have you become what I +am. You seem so young and innocent that I would like to have you +stay as you are. I wish to save you. How strange it is. When I look +at you, I seem to behold myself as I was at your age."</p> +<p>As he spoke these words the whole expression of his countenance +altered, and faint traces of an almost extinguished manhood +appeared. It was as if beauty, sunk below the horizon, had been +thrown up in a mirage.</p> +<p>So tender an appeal would have broken a heart like David's, +except for the madness of illicit love.</p> +<p>"Judge!" he cried, striking the table with his fist, "I did not +come here for advice, I came for help. I am determined to have this +woman. She is mine by virtue of my desire and my capacity to +acquire her! I must have her! I will have her, by fair means or +foul. And, Judge, in this case, the foulest means are fair. What +seems an act of injustice is in reality an act of mercy. You know +her husband, and you know as well as I do that her life with him +will be her ruin. You know that the complacency with which she once +regarded him has already turned to disgust, and that it is only a +single step from disgust to hate and another from hate to murder. +She will kill him some day! She cannot help it. It is human nature +and if she doesn't I will! Come now, Judge, you will help me, won't +you?"</p> +<p>A cynical smile wreathed itself around the mouth of the old +roué. In his debauched nature, the oil of sympathy had long +ago been exhausted. This was a last despairing flicker. A wick +cannot burn alone.</p> +<p>"Help you?" he said languidly. "Oh, yes, I will help you. There +is no use trying to save you. You are only another moth! You want +the fire, and you will have it! You will burn your wings off as +millions have done before you and as millions will do after you. +What then? Wings are made to be burned! I burned mine. Probably if +I had another pair I would burn them also. It is as useless to +moralize to a lover as to a tiger. I am a fool to waste my breath +on you. Let us get down to business. You say that she loves you, +and that she will be glad to learn that she is free?"</p> +<p>"I do! her heart is on our side. She will believe you, +easily!"</p> +<p>"Yes, she will believe me easily! She will believe me too +easily! For six thousand years desire has been a synonym for +credulity. All men believe what they want to, except myself. I +believe everything that I do not want to, and nothing that I do! +But no matter. How much am I to get for this job?"</p> +<p>They haggled a while over the price, struck a bargain and shook +hands—the same symbol being used among men to seal a compact +of love or hate, virtue or vice.</p> +<p>"Be at the Spencer House at eleven o'clock," said David, rising. +"You will find us on the balcony. The doctor is to spend the night +in a revel with the captain of the Mary Ann, and we shall be +uninterrupted. Be an actor. Be a great actor, Judge. You are to +deal with a soul which possesses unusual powers of +penetration."</p> +<p>"Do not fear! She will be no match for me, for she is +innocent—and when was virtue ever a match for vice? She is +predestined to her doom! Farewell! Fare-ill, I mean," he muttered +under his breath, as David passed from the room.</p> +<p>He gazed after him with his basilisk eyes, drank another glass +of whisky and relapsed into reveries.</p> +<p>The mind of the lover was full of tumultuous emotions. On the +thin ice of his momentary joy, he hovered like an inexperienced +skater over the great deeps of sin which were waiting to engulf +him.</p> +<p>There was still an hour before the time when he would have to +take his part in the business of the evening. He determined to walk +off his excitement, and chose the way along the edge of the +river.</p> +<p>It was now quite dark. The stars were shining in the sky and +lamps were twinkling in the windows. The streets were almost +deserted; the citizens, wearied with the toils of the day, were +eating their evening meal, or resting on the balconies and porches. +Here and there on the surface of the swift-flowing river a huge +steamer swept past, or little ferry-boats shot back and forth like +shuttles. His thoughts composed a strangely blended web of good and +evil. At the same moment in which he reiterated his resolve to +prosecute this deed he consecrated himself to a life of tenderness +and devotion to the woman whom he loved with all the energy of his +nature! Of such inconsistencies is the soul capable!</p> +<p>It seemed an easy matter to him to control the august forces +which he was letting loose! He was like a little child who wanders +through a laboratory uncorking bottles and mixing explosives.</p> +<p>Having regained his calmness by a long walk, he hurried back and +reached the open space along the river front where peddlers, +mountebanks and street venders plied their crafts, just in time to +meet the doctor as he drove up with his horses.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV.</h2> +<h3>THE SNARE OF THE FOWLER</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Thinks thou there are no +serpents in the world</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But those who slide along the +grassy sod</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And sting the luckless foot that +presses them?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">There are those who in the path +of social life</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Do bask their skins in Fortune's +sun</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And sting the soul." + —Joanna Baillie.</span></p> +<p>That evening's business was one of unprecedented success. Never +had the young orator been so brilliant. All the faculties of his +mind seemed wrought up to their highest pitch and all its resources +under perfect control. The boisterous crowd laughed itself hoarse +at his humor, wept itself silly at his pathos, and laid its shekels +at his feet.</p> +<p>It is no wonder that such scenes and others like them have +generated both satirists and saviors, and that while men like +Savonarola have been ready to die for the redemption of such +creatures other men, like Juvenal, have sneered.</p> +<p>The three companions returned to the hotel and counted their +ill-gotten gains. Pepeeta was sober, David exultant and the doctor +hilarious. He pulled out the ends of his long black mustache to +their utmost limit, twisted them into ropes, rubbed his hands +together, slapped his great thigh and laughed long and loud.</p> +<p>"David, my son," he exclaimed, "you have the touch of Midas; +g-g-give us a few years more and we will outrank the fabled +Croesus. We shall yet be masters of the world. We shall ride upon +its neck as if it w-w-were an ass! How about the old farm life now? +Do you want to return to the p-p-plow-tail? Would you rather milk +the b-b-brindle cow than the b-b-bedeviled people? This has been a +g-g-great night, and I must go and finish it in the c-c-cabin of +the Mary Ann with the captain, his mate and the judge. They will +know how to appreciate it! Such a t-t-triumph must not be allowed +to p-p-pass without a celebration."</p> +<p>He bustled about the room a few moments, kissed his wife, shook +hands with David and hastened away.</p> +<p>After he had vanished, David and Pepeeta passed down the long +corridor and out upon the balcony of the old Spencer House, to the +place appointed for the interview of the judge. The night was +bright; a refreshing breeze was blowing up from the river and the +frequent intermissions in the gusts of wind that swept over the +sleeping city gave the impression that Nature was holding her +breath to listen to the tales of love that were being told on city +balconies and in country lanes. Under the mysterious influence of +the full moon, and of the silence, for the noises of the city had +died away, their imaginations were aroused, their emotions +quickened, their sensibilities stirred. It seemed impossible that +life could be seriously real. Their conceptions of duty and +responsibility were sublimated into vague and misty dreams, and the +enjoyment of the moment's fleeting pleasures seemed the only +reality and end of life.</p> +<p>The two lovers placed their chairs close to the railing and +leaning over it looked down into the deserted street or off toward +the distant hills swimming like islands on a sea of light, or up to +the infinite sky in the immensity of which their individual being +seemed to be swallowed up, or down into each other's eyes, in the +depths of which they discovered realities which they had never +before perceived, and lost sight of those in which they had always +believed. For a long time they sat in silence. Afterwards, there +came a few whispered interchanges of feeling, as the stillness of a +grove is broken by gentle agitations among the leaves, and finally +David said,</p> +<p>"Pepeeta, you have long promised to tell me all you knew of your +early life; will you do it now?"</p> +<p>"Of what possible interest can it be to you?" she asked.</p> +<p>"It seems to me," he replied, "that I could linger forever over +the slightest detail. It is not enough to know what you are. I wish +to know how you came to be what you are."</p> +<p>"You must reconcile yourself to ignorance; the origin of my +existence is lost in night."</p> +<p>"Did not the doctor discover anything at all from the people in +whose possession he found you?"</p> +<p>"Nothing. They kept silence like the grave. He heard from a +gypsy in another camp that my parents belonged to a noble family in +Spain, and has often said that when he becomes very rich he will go +with me to my native land and find them. But I believe, myself, +that the veil will never be lifted from the past. I must be +content!"</p> +<p>"But you can tell me something of that part of your childhood +that you do remember?"</p> +<p>"It is too sad! I do not want to think of anything that happened +before I met you. My life began from that moment. Before, I had +only dreamed."</p> +<p>He was intoxicated with her beauty and her love; but he carried +himself carefully, for he was playing a desperate game and must +keep himself under control.</p> +<p>"And do you think," he said, "that having awakened from this +dream you can ever fall asleep again?"</p> +<p>"Can the bird ever go back into the shell or the butterfly into +the chrysalis? No, no, it is impossible."</p> +<p>"But would you, if you could?"</p> +<p>"Perhaps I ought to want to; but I cannot."</p> +<p>"And do you think that we can drift on forever as we are +going?"</p> +<p>"I do not know. I do not dare to think. I only live from day to +day."</p> +<p>"And you still refuse to take your future into your own +hands?"</p> +<p>"It is not mine. I must accept what has been appointed."</p> +<p>"And you still believe that some door will be opened through +which we may escape?"</p> +<p>"With all my heart."</p> +<p>"I wish I could share your faith."</p> +<p>They ceased to speak, and sat silently gazing into each other's +faces, the heart of the woman rent with a conflict between desire +and duty, that of the man by a tempest of evil passions. At that +moment, a slow and heavy step was heard in the hallway. They looked +toward the door, and in the shadows saw a man who contemplated them +silently for a moment and then advanced.</p> +<p>David rose to meet him.</p> +<p>"I beg your pardon," he said, feigning embarrassment, "I had an +errand with the lady, and hoped I should find her alone."</p> +<p>"You may speak, for the gentleman is the friend of my husband +and myself," Pepeeta said.</p> +<p>"I will begin, then," he responded, "by asking if you recognize +me?" And at that he stepped out into the moonlight.</p> +<p>Pepeeta gave him a searching glance and exclaimed in surprise, +"You are the judge who married me."</p> +<p>He let his head fall upon his breast with well-assumed humility, +remained a moment in silence, looked up mournfully and said, "I +would to God that I had really married you, for then I should not +have been bearing this accursed load of guilt that has been +crushing me for months."</p> +<p>At these words, Pepeeta sprang from her seat and stood before +him with her hands clasped upon her breast.</p> +<p>"Be quick! go on!" she cried, when she had waited in vain for +him to proceed.</p> +<p>"Prepare yourself for a revelation of treachery and dishonor. I +can conceal my crime no longer. If I hold my peace the very stones +in the street will cry out against me."</p> +<p>"Make haste!" Pepeeta exclaimed, imperatively.</p> +<p>"Madam," continued the strange man, "I have betrayed you."</p> +<p>"You have betrayed me?"</p> +<p>"Yes, I have betrayed you. Do you understand? You are not +married to your husband. I deceived you as I was bribed to do. I +was not a justice. I had no right to perform that ceremony. It was +a solemn farce. Your false lover desired to possess the privileges +without assuming the responsibilities of marriage."</p> +<p>These words, spoken slowly, solemnly, and with a simulation of +candor which would have deceived her even if she had not desired to +believe them, produced the most profound impression upon the mind +of Pepeeta. She approached the judge and cried: "Sir, I beg you in +the name of heaven not to trifle with me! Is what you have told me +true?"</p> +<p>"Alas, too true."</p> +<p>"If it is true, you will say it before the God in heaven? Raise +your right hand!"</p> +<p>Before an appeal so solemn and a soul so pure a man less corrupt +would have faltered; but without a moment's hesitation this +depraved, remorseless creature did as she commanded.</p> +<p>"I swear it," he said.</p> +<p>"Oh! sir," she cried, "you cannot understand; but this is the +happiest moment of my life!"</p> +<p>"Madam?" he exclaimed, interrogatively and with consummate +art.</p> +<p>"It is not necessary for you to know why," she answered; "but on +my knees I thank you."</p> +<p>He lifted her up. "What can it mean? I implore you to tell me," +he said.</p> +<p>"Do not ask me!" she replied. "I cannot tell you now! My heart +is too full."</p> +<p>"But does this mean that I have nothing to regret and that you +have forgiven me?"</p> +<p>"It does. For it is against God only you have sinned! As for +myself, I bless you from the bottom of my heart!"</p> +<p>She gave him her hand. He took it in his own and held it, +looking first at her and then at David with an expression of such +surprise as to deceive his accomplice scarcely less than his +victim. Young, inexperienced, innocent in this sin at least, she +stood between them—helpless.</p> +<p>It is one thing for a woman deliberately to renounce her +marriage vows to taste the sweets of forbidden pleasure, but quite +another for a heart so loyal to duty, to be betrayed into crime by +an ingenuity worthy of devils.</p> +<p>Child of misfortune that she was, victim of a series of untoward +and fatal circumstances, she had reason all her life to regret her +credulity; but never to reproach herself for wrong intentions. Her +heart often betrayed her; but her soul was never corrupted. She +ought to have been more careful—alas, yes, she +ought—but she meant no sin.</p> +<p>Now that the confidence of Pepeeta had been secured, David's +part in this drama became comparatively easy.</p> +<p>He listened to the brief conversation in which by a +well-constructed chain of fictitious reasonings the judge riveted +upon the too eager mind of the child-wife the conclusion that she +was free. When this arch villain had concluded his arguments every +suspicion had vanished from her soul, and as he rose to depart she +took him by the hand and bade him a kindly and almost affectionate +farewell. "Do not afflict yourself with this painful memory," she +said gently.</p> +<p>"I shall not need to afflict myself," he replied; "my memory +will afflict me, for I am as guilty as if the result had been what +I expected; and if in the coming years you find a moment now and +then in which you can lift up a prayer for a man who has forfeited +his claim to mercy, I beg you to devote it to him who from the +depths of his heart wishes you joy. Good-bye."</p> +<p>With many assurances of her pardon, Pepeeta followed him to the +door and bade him farewell.</p> +<p>When she returned to David her face was luminous with happiness, +and although he had begun already to experience a reaction and to +suffer remorse for his successful infamy, it was only like a drop +of poison in the ocean of his joy.</p> +<p>"Did I not tell you that all would be well?" she cried, +approaching him and extending both her hands. "But how sudden and +how strange it is. It is too good to be true. I cannot realize that +I am free. I am like a little bird that hops about its cage, peeps +through the door which its mistress' hand has opened, and knows not +what to think. It wishes to go; but it is frightened. What shall it +do, David? Tell it! Shall it fly?"</p> +<p>"I also am too bewildered to act and almost too bewildered to +think," he said with unaffected excitement and anxiety, for now +that the time and opportunity for him to take so momentous a step +had come, his heart failed him. It was only with the most violent +effort and under a most pressing necessity that he pulled himself +together and continued,</p> +<p>"The little bird must fly, and its mate must fly with it. There +are too few hours before daylight and we must not lose a single +one. But are you sure that you are quite ready? Is your mind made +up? Will you go with me trustfully? Will you accept whatever the +future has in store?"</p> +<p>She took him in her strong young arms, printed her first kiss +upon his lips, and said: "I will go with you to the ends of the +earth! I will go with you through water and through fire! The +future cannot bring me anything from which I shall shrink, if it +lets us meet it hand in hand!"</p> +<p>Silently and swiftly they gathered together the few necessities +of a sudden journey, stole out of the quiet building and hurried +away to a livery stable. In a few moments they were rattling down +the rough cobble-stone pavement to the river. The ferryman, who had +been retained for this very purpose, pretended to be asleep. They +aroused him, drove onto the platform of his primitive craft and +floated out upon the stream. As the boat swung clear of the shore +they heard music issuing from the cabin windows of a steamer under +whose stern they were passing. It was the "Mary Ann." They +listened. The music ceased for a moment and a deep voice called out +"B-b-bravo! Another song!"</p> +<p>They recognized it instantly, and Pepeeta pressed close to the +side of her lover.</p> +<p>"You hear it for the last time," he whispered.</p> +<p>"Thank God," she said.</p> +<p>That name uttered in the darkness of the night startled him. The +idea that he had cast a shuttle of crime into the great loom upon +which the fabric of his life was being woven, took complete +possession of his mind. With unerring prescience, he saw that it +began to be entangled in the mysterious meshes. A consciousness +that he was no longer the master but the victim of his destiny +seized him and he shuddered. Pepeeta perceived the shudder through +the arm which embraced her.</p> +<p>"You are cold, my love," she said.</p> +<p>"My joy has made me tremble," he replied.</p> +<p>She pressed the hand which was holding hers and looked up into +his face with ineffable love.</p> +<p>The swift current seized the boat, twisting it hither and +thither till it seemed to the now trembling fugitive a symbol of +the stream of tendencies upon which he had launched the frail bark +containing their united lives.</p> +<p>"I wonder if I am strong enough to stem it?" he asked +himself.</p> +<p>Pepeeta continued to press his hand and that gentle sign of love +revived his drooping courage. Perhaps there is no other act so full +of reassuring power as the pressure of a human hand. Neither a +glance from the eye nor a word from the lips can equal it. The +fainting pilgrim, the departing friend, the discouraged toiler, the +returning prodigal welcome it beyond all other symbols of +helpfulness or love, and the dying saint who leans the hardest on +the "rod and the staff of God" as he goes down into the dark valley +finds a comfort scarcely less sweet in the warm clasp of a human +hand. Just as the courage of this daring navigator of the sea of +crime had been restored by this signal of his loved one's trust, +the boat grated on the beach.</p> +<p>"Can we find a minister who will marry us at this time of +night?" David said to the ferryman, although he had been careful to +ask this question before.</p> +<p>"Two blocks south and three east, second door on the right hand +side," he answered laconically, as he received the fare.</p> +<p>Such adventurers passed often through his hands and their ways +were nothing new.</p> +<p>The fugitives drove hurriedly to the designated house, knocked +at the door, were admitted and in a few moments the final act which +sealed their fate had been performed.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI.</h2> +<h3>THE DERELICTS</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Born but to banquet and to drain the bowl."</p> +<p>—Homer.</p> +</div> +<p>The "Mary Ann" had just returned from a trip to New Orleans, and +while waiting for her cargo lay moored at the foot of Broadway. As +the quack ascended her gang-plank the captain and mate rose to +greet him. There was not on the entire river, where so many +extraordinary characters have been evolved, a more remarkable +pair.</p> +<p>The captain was five feet four inches in height, round, ruddy, +mellow and jocund. A complete absence or suppression of moral +sense, together with health as perfect as an animal's, had rendered +him insensible to all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. +He had never shed a tear save in excessive laughter, and sorrow had +never yet struck a dart through the armor of fat in which he was +sheathed.</p> +<p>The mate was his counterpart and foil. Six feet and three inches +tall, he was long-legged, lantern-jawed and goggle-eyed. Bilious in +his constitution, he was melancholic in his temperament, had been +crossed in love and soured at twenty, betrayed and bankrupted at +thirty, and at forty had turned his back upon the world, +forswearing all its amusements but those of the table, which his +poor digestion made more painful than pleasurable, all of its +ambitions but those of getting money And all friendships but those +of the captain, to whom he was attached like a limpet to a +rock.</p> +<p>Such were the leading characteristics of the two worthies who +rose from their deck-stools to meet the doctor as he rolled up the +gangway.</p> +<p>"Howdy, doctor?" said the mate, in the peculiar drawling +vernacular of the poor whites of the south, extending a hand as +cold and hard as an anchor.</p> +<p>"Welcome, prince of quacks! For a man who has made so many +others walk the plank with poison drugs, you do it but poorly +yourself," cried the captain, merrily.</p> +<p>"You will d-d-draw your last breath with a joke, as a +d-d-drunkard sips his last drop with a sigh," responded the +doctor.</p> +<p>"The captain was born with the corners of his mouth turned up +like a dead man's toes," drawled the lugubrious mate.</p> +<p>"Where is the judge?" asked the doctor, hitting the captain a +hearty slap on the back.</p> +<p>"He will be here a little later," the host replied.</p> +<p>The three boon companions seated themselves by the gunwale of +the vessel, basking in the mellow light of the moon and quaffing +the liquor which a negro brought them.</p> +<p>While they were drinking and recalling the many revels which +they had held together, an hour passed by, and at its close a form +was seen coming leisurely down the sloping bank of the river. It +was the justice of the peace, come to make merry with the husband +of the woman he had just betrayed. Upon that cynical countenance a +close observer might have noted even in the pale light of the moon +an expression of sardonic pleasure when he returned the hearty +greetings with which his coming was hailed.</p> +<p>"I am sorry to have kept you waiting," he said.</p> +<p>"We have all the b-b-better appetite," responded the doctor.</p> +<p>"If, as the old saw says, the time to eat is when the stomach +rings the bell, I am ready!" the captain piped, in his high-pitched +voice.</p> +<p>"Diogenes being asked what time a man ought to eat, responded, +'The rich, when he is hungry, and the poor, when he has food,'" +said the judge, whose mind threw up old scraps of classical +knowledge as the ocean throws up shells.</p> +<p>"As for hunger, my appetite is sharper than a scythe; but my +indigestion is duller than a whetstone," said the mate, to whom a +feast was always prophetic of subsequent fasting.</p> +<p>"Good digestion waits on appetite; but waits too long, eh?" the +judge replied.</p> +<p>The captain led the way to the cabin. It was a low, dingy room, +but ruddy with the light of a dozen tallow candles. On the table +was spread a feast that would have tempted the palates of the +epicures who gathered about the festive board of the immortal +Lucullus. There was neither art nor display in the accompaniments +of the food, but every luxury that an ample market could supply had +been prepared by a cook who could have won immortality in a Paris +restaurant, and the finest whisky that could be distilled in old +Kentucky, the rarest wines that could be imported from the Rhine or +from sunny Italian slopes, were ready to flow.</p> +<p>Four slaves received the banqueters and then took their places +behind the chairs at the table. The captain's face was shining like +a full moon; the doctor's was swarthy, sinister and piratical; the +judge's possessed the dignity of a splendid ruin; the mate's was +haunted by an expression of unsatisfied and insatiable desire. +Observing it and calling the attention of the others, the justice +remarked, "Like the old Romans, we have a skeleton at our table to +remind us of death."</p> +<p>"You would look like death yourself if you had to sit staring at +these bounties like a muzzled dog in a market," snarled the +mate.</p> +<p>"Be like the dyspeptic who was about to be hanged," said the +doctor. "The sheriff asked him to make his last request. 'I will +have a dozen hot waffles well b-b-buttered; and let there be a +<i>full</i> dozen, for I shall not suffer from the cramps t-t-this +time,' says he."</p> +<p>The first few courses of the feast were eaten in almost +uninterrupted silence; but as the keen edge of their appetites +became a little dulled, the tongues of the banqueters were unloosed +and a torrent of talk began to flow, interlarded with oaths and +stories of a more than questionable character. Corks popped from +bottles with loud explosions, the darkies greeted the sallies of +wit with boisterous laughter and surreptitiously emptied the +glasses.</p> +<p>The fun grew fast and furious, the thoughts of the revelers +flowing in the usual channels of such feasts. At a certain pitch of +this wild frenzy, a desire for music invariably recurs and so at a +signal from the captain the slaves who performed the functions of +deck-hands, waiters or musicians as the exigencies of the occasion +demanded, brought in their musical instruments and the rafters were +soon ringing with their simple melodies to the accompaniment of +banjos and guitars. The deep rich voices blended harmoniously with +the tingle of the stringed instruments and the clicking of the +bones. Plantation songs were followed by revival hymns, and these +by coarse and licentious ditties. At a second stage of every orgie, +desire for the dance is kindled by music, and so, at the command of +their master, two of the slaves began to execute a "double +shuffle."</p> +<p>The clatter and the beating of negro feet to the accompaniment +of the banjo and the bones, and the shouting of the spectators gave +vent to the boisterous emotions of the revelers. Even the +melancholy mate caught the enthusiasm, and for a time at least +forgot his misery. Of them all, the judge alone preserved his +gravity. He sat looking unmoved at these wild antics, and murmured +to himself:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"If music be the food of love, +play on.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Give me excess of it, that, +surfeiting,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">The appetite may sicken and so +die.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That strain again! It had a dying +fall.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">O, it came o'er my ear like the +sweet sound</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That breathes upon a bank of +violets</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Stealing and giving +odor."</span></p> +<p>Nothing could be more horrible than the sight of this gifted man +herding with these beasts. It was like a lion devouring carrion +with wolves. Aside from the pleasure of the palate, his enjoyment +of the scene was derived from the cynical contempt with which he +regarded it. Having descended to the lowest depths of human +degradation, he had arrived at a point where he drew his keenest +relish from the inconsistencies, the absurdities and the sufferings +of his fellow-men. In order that he might behold a scene in which +all the elements of the horribly grotesque were combined, he +determined to provoke the egotism and complacency of the quack to +the very highest activity at this moment when his fortunes and his +hopes were being undermined.</p> +<p>After the excitement of the dance had abated, the concluding +phase of all such orgies came in its inevitable sequence, and they +began to drink great bumpers to each other's health. After all had +been pledged, the judge proposed a toast to the "gypsy bride."</p> +<p>The tongue of the quack was loosened in an instant and he poured +forth an extravagant eulogy of her beauty and her devotion.</p> +<p>"If she were mine, I should be on the ragged edge with jealousy +every hour of the day and night," said the judge, as they set their +glasses down.</p> +<p>"Y-y-you'd have reason to! B-b-but I'm a horse of a different +c-c-color, old boy! W-w-women have p-p-preferences," the doctor +replied, pulling out the ends of his mustache and winking at the +captain and his mate, who stupidly nodded their appreciation of the +hit.</p> +<p>"When honeysuckles close their petals to hummingbirds, Venus +will shut the door on Adonis," responded the judge, draining his +glass and smiling into its depths.</p> +<p>The quack was too far gone in his cups to comprehend or even to +be curious as to the significance of this sneer and went on +sounding his own virtues and Pepeeta's beauty while the judge +provoked him to the fullest exhibition of his colossal vanity. He +took a sinister delight in drawing him out. It was the pleasure of +a cat playing with the mouse, which it is about to devour, or of +savages mocking the man who is about to run the gauntlet. He +exulted in the contrast of this proud man's present confidence, and +the humiliation which awaited him within the next few hours.</p> +<p>The quack was an easy victim. His career of prosperity had met +with but a single serious interruption and he had so entirely +forgotten his dangerous sickness in his perfect health that he was +seldom troubled by foreboding as to the future. Never had he +possessed more confidence of life than at the very moment when all +his hopes, all his confidence, all his faith, were about to be +shattered.</p> +<p>Our misfortunes draw a train of shadows behind them; but they +often project a glowing light before them. Sickness is often +preceded by the most bounding health, failure by unexampled +success, misery by irrepressible emotions of exultation. Too bright +a sunshine as well as too dark a shadow is often the herald of a +storm upon the sea of life.</p> +<p>But ebullitions of happiness and confidence did not excite the +apprehension of the quack. Each bumper of wine was followed by a +new outburst of vanity. The captain and the mate had already +succumbed to the potent influence of the liquors which they had +been drinking, and amidst his maudlin speeches the quack's tongue +was becoming hopelessly tangled.</p> +<p>The judge was as sober as at the beginning of the feast and with +a smile upon his lips in which cynicism was incarnate, waited until +the doctor had just begun to snore and then aroused him by another +question.</p> +<p>"Who is this paragon of virtue to whom you so confidently trust +the chastity of your wife?"</p> +<p>"This w-w-what?"</p> +<p>"This paragon of virtue—this ice-cold Adonis?"</p> +<p>"Say whatcher mean."</p> +<p>"Who is this pure young man with whom the beautiful Pepeeta is +so safe? What is it you call him, David Crocker?"</p> +<p>"'Tain't his real name."</p> +<p>"What is his real name?"</p> +<p>"D'n I ever t-t-tell you?"</p> +<p>"No."</p> +<p>"Real name's C-C-Corson—David Corson."</p> +<p>"What?" cried the judge, springing to his feet.</p> +<p>"C-C-Corson—I tell you," stuttered the quack, too drunk to +notice the peculiar effect of his announcement.</p> +<p>"What do you know about him?" the judge asked with +ill-suppressed excitement.</p> +<p>"Keep still—wan' go sleep."</p> +<p>"Wake up and tell me what you know about him, I say."</p> +<p>"He' Squaker."</p> +<p>"A Quaker?"</p> +<p>"Yes, Squaker."</p> +<p>"Great heavens!" speaking under his breath and trembling +visibly. "What else do you know?"</p> +<p>"Illegitimate child."</p> +<p>"What?" passing around the table, seizing him by the collar and +shaking him. "Say that again."</p> +<p>"'S true—s' help me! What you c-c-care?"</p> +<p>"How do you know he is an illegitimate child—I say?"</p> +<p>"I know—that's nuf! Sh'tup and lemme g-g-go sleep."</p> +<p>"Tell me, curse you!" shaking him until his teeth rattled.</p> +<p>He was too far gone to answer and fell under the table. The +judge kicked him, and with a muttered curse took up a glass of +whisky, and tossing it down his throat, hurriedly left the cabin, +and began to pace the deck in violent agitation.</p> +<p>This man who had so ruthlessly set a pitfall for his neighbor +had suddenly tumbled into one which retributive justice had dug +deep for himself!</p> +<p>"It must be true," he was saying. "It accounts for the strange +feeling I had toward him when he asked me to help him do that +infernal deed. I could not understand it then, but it is plain +enough now. He is my son! And I have not only transmitted a tainted +life to him, but helped to damn him in its possession! God! what +irony! Of course the quack never knew that I, too, am living under +a false name! I wonder if it is too late to stop him? +Yes—it's done, and he is miles away! It's almost daybreak +now! Whewwwh! It's horrible!"</p> +<p>He dashed his clenched fist on the railing of the vessel. While +he stood there, his mind ran back into the past. He lived over +again those passionate days when he had won and betrayed a young, +beautiful, impressionable girl. His heart beat with a swifter +stroke as he remembered the excitement of their hurried flight from +her parents, and the wild joy of their adventurous lives, and then +sank again to its steady, hopeless throb as he recalled her +penitence and misery after the birth of the boy, his consenting to +marry her, the ceremony, the respite from self-reproach, the few +happy months, the relapse into old bad habits, the sobered mother +becoming a devout and faithful member of a Quaker church, his +disgust at this, his quarrels with her and finally his desertion of +her. And then the whole subsequent series of adventures and +disasters passed before him—a moving panorama of dishonor and +crime! He paced the deck again; then he paused and leaned over the +gunwale, listening to the water lapping the sides of the vessel. +Nothing could have been more astonishing to him than the sudden +activity of his conscience. It had been so long since he had +experienced remorse that he believed himself incapable of it. But +suddenly a fierce and unendurable pang seized him. To a man who had +been long accustomed to feeling nothing in the contemplation of his +deeds, but a dull consciousness of unworthiness, this sharp and +terrible attack of shame and guilt was startling indeed. He could +not understand it. The pain seemed disproportionate to the sin; but +he could not resist the repugnance and horror with which it filled +him! And this is an element in the moral life with which bad men +forget to deal! Because conscience ceases to remonstrate and +remorse to torment, they think the exemption permanent. They do not +know that at any moment, in some unforeseen emergency—this +abused faculty of the soul may spring into renewed life. This +elemental power, this primal endowment, can no more be permanently +dissociated from the soul than heat from fire! It may smoulder +unobserved, but a breath will fan it into flame! Without it, the +soul would cease to be a soul; its permanent eradication would be +equivalent to annihilation! If conscience can be eliminated, man +has nothing to brag of over a tadpole! We are no more safe from it +than from memory! Who can be sure that what he has forgotten has +ceased to survive? The sweet perfume of a violet may revive a +bitter memory dormant for fifty years! At a word, a look, a glance, +conscience—abused, suppressed, despised, +inoperative—may rise in all her majesty and fill the heart +with torment and despair!</p> +<p>This corrupted judge, this faithless lover, this dishonorable +parent, had become accustomed to dull misery; but this fierce +onslaught of an avenging sense of personal unworthiness and dread +of divine justice was more than he could bear. Life had long since +lost its charms and he had more than once seriously contemplated +suicide.</p> +<p>"There seems to be no use in trying to beat nature in any other +way, and so I will try the dernier resort," he said aloud. Opening +his pocket knife, he cut a piece of rope from the flagstaff, looked +around, found a heavy bar of iron, and fastened rope and weight +together. In one end of the rope he made a noose, slipped it over +his neck, approached the railing and leaned upon it to reflect. His +mind now went back into the still more remote past; he was a boy +again, and at his mother's knee. Half audibly and half +unconsciously, he began murmuring, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I +pray—no—I'll be consistent," he added, with a sigh. "I +have lived without the mummery of prayer, and I will die without +it."</p> +<p>And then by one of those strange freaks of the mind that make +people do the most absurd things at the most sacred +times—mourners laugh at funerals, and soldiers in the thick +of battles long for puddings—he began to say over that old +doggerel which he used to repeat when shivering on the spring-board +over the cold waters of the Hudson river:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"One, two, three, the bumble +bee,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">The rooster crows and away she +goes!"</span></p> +<p>The absurdity of so trivial a memory at such a serious moment +excited his sense of humor, and he smiled.</p> +<p>By this time the violence of his remorse had begun to subside +and proved to be only a fitful, fleeting protest of that abused and +neglected moral sense. Something more terrible than even this +discovery of the wrong done to his own son would have to come. +There was plenty of time! Nature was in no haste! This was only a +warning, a little danger signal.</p> +<p>By a short, swift revulsion, his feelings changed from horror to +indifference. "After all, why should I care?" he said. "The boy is +nothing to me, and at any rate he would have gained his end in some +other way. Let him have his fling; I have had mine. If he didn't +break that old impostor's heart, he would probably break a better +one! And as for the gypsy—it's only a question of who and +when. What a fool I have made of myself! Who would believe that +such a trifle could give me such a shock? There is something to +live for yet. I must see what sort of a face the quack makes when +he takes his medicine to-morrow."</p> +<p>He threw the iron weight into the water, entered the cabin, took +another drink, smiled contemptuously at the drunken wretches under +the table, crossed the deck, descended the gang-plank and climbed +the steep path to the city.</p> +<p>Against his inheritance from such a nature as this, the young +mystic had to make his life struggle.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII.</h2> +<h3>THE SHADOW OF DEATH</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"There are moral as well as physical +assassinations."—Voltaire.</p> +</div> +<p>When he awoke the next morning, the poor bedeviled doctor +crawled back to the hotel as best he could, his head throbbing with +pain, his wits dull and his temper wild. Stumbling up the long +flight of stairs which seemed to him to reach the sky, he burst +open his door and entered the room. It was empty. The bed had not +been occupied. Pepeeta was nowhere to be seen.</p> +<p>It took him some moments to comprehend that he did not +comprehend. Then he called, "Pepeeta! Pepeeta!"</p> +<p>The silence at first bewildered, then aroused hims and crossing +the corridor he entered David's room. It, too, was empty. He was +now thoroughly astonished and awake. Recrossing the hall he once +more entered his room and began in earnest to seek an explanation +of this mystery. It did not take him long, for on the table were +lying the jewels in which he had invested his profits and which he +had confided to Pepeeta—and beside them a piece of paper on +which he slowly spelled out these startling words:</p> +<p>"I have discovered your treachery and fled."</p> +<p>"PEPEETA."</p> +<p>He drew his hand across his eyes, took a piece of his cheek +between his thumb and first finger and pinched it to see if he were +awake, then read the words again, this time aloud: "I have +discovered your treachery and fled. Pepeeta." "Treachery?" he said. +"What t-t-treachery? Whose t-t-treachery? Fled? Fled with whom, +fled where? I wonder if I am still d-d-drunk?"</p> +<p>Laying the paper down, he went to the wash-stand, filled the +bowl with water, plunged his head into it and expected to find that +he had been suffering some sort of hallucination. But when he +returned to the table and again took up the missive, the same words +stared him in the face.</p> +<p>At last, and almost with the rapidity of a stroke of lightning, +the whole mystery solved itself. It flashed upon his mind that +Pepeeta had abandoned him, and in company with the man he had so +implicitly trusted. The serpent he had nourished in his bosom had +at last stung him! Tearing the paper into shreds, and stamping upon +the floor, he cursed and raved.</p> +<p>"I see it all," he cried. "Fool, ass, bat, mole! Curse me! Yes, +curse me! But curse them also! Oh! G-G-God, help me to avenge this +wrong!"</p> +<p>As soon as a God is necessary to the atheist he invents one, and +in a single instant this hopeless skeptic had become a firm +believer in the Deity. It seemed for a few moments as if his +passions would destroy him by their internal violence; but their +first ebullition was soon expended and he began to grow calm. The +electric fires of his anger were no longer permitted to play at +random, but were gathered up into a thunderbolt to be hurled at his +foe; this half-crazed man suddenly became as cool and calculating +as he was desperate and determined.</p> +<p>A purpose shaped itself instantly in his mind, and he began its +execution without delay. He made no confidant, took no advice; but +having smoothed his ruffled clothing and combed his disheveled hair +so as to excite no comment and provoke no question, he passed +through the hotel corridor and office, greeting his acquaintances +with his accustomed ease, and made his way to the livery stable. He +went at once to the stalls where his famous team was accustomed to +stand, and to his astonishment and delight found his horses both +there.</p> +<p>"Tom," he said to the hostler, "did you hire a horse and +b-b-buggy to a young couple last night?"</p> +<p>"I did not," answered the surly groom.</p> +<p>"Tell me the truth," said the doctor in a voice that made every +word sound like the crack of a rifle.</p> +<p>"What do you take me for?" asked the stableman, trying to appear +indignant and innocent.</p> +<p>"You're a l-l-liar, and I am in no mood for trifling. Out with +it, you scoundrel!" he cried, seizing him by the throat.</p> +<p>With a sign of terror the groom indicated his readiness to come +to terms, and the doctor relaxed his grip.</p> +<p>Still trembling, he told the truth.</p> +<p>"Do you know which road they took?"</p> +<p>He waved his hand toward Kentucky.</p> +<p>"Put a saddle on Hamlet—no, on Romeo," he ordered, +tersely.</p> +<p>The groom entered a box stall and led out the black beauty. The +doctor glanced him over and smiled. And well he might, for every +muscle, every motion betokened speed, intelligence, endurance.</p> +<p>The pursuer made a single stop on his way to the river and that +was at a gun store, from which he emerged carrying a pair of saddle +bags on his arm. In the holsters were two loaded pistols.</p> +<p>He smiled as he mounted, having already consummated vengeance in +his heart. Once across the river and safe upon the Louisville pike, +he loosened the reins. The horse, whose sympathetic heart had +already been imbued with the spirit of his rider, shook his long +black mane, plunged forward and pounded along the hard turnpike. +His hoof-beats—sharp, sonorous, rhythmical—seemed to be +crying for vengeance; for hoof-beats have a language, and always +utter the thoughts of a rider.</p> +<p>Now that he was well on his way the outraged husband had time to +reflect, and the past few months rose vividly before him. He saw +his own folly and did not spare himself in his condemnation; but +this folly did not for an instant modify the guilt of the two +fugitives. Every moment his injuries seemed more colossal, more +unpardonable, more unendurable. He had been wounded in his +affections and also in his vanity, which was far more dreadful, and +an agonizing thirst for vengeance overpowered him.</p> +<p>The great veins began to swell in his neck. He would have +choked, had he not violently torn off his collar and cravat and +flung them into the dust.</p> +<p>His thirst for blood outstripped his fleet horse, who seemed to +him, in his impetuous haste, to be creeping like a snail. He drove +his spurs deep into the sides of the frightened animal, which +almost leaped through his girth. A less expert horseman would have +been unseated; but an earthquake could not have thrown this Centaur +out of his saddle.</p> +<p>The forests, hills and houses flowed past him like a river. +Occasionally he halted an instant to inquire of some lonely +traveler if he had seen a horse and buggy passing that way, but he +was cunning enough to conceal his anxiety and to hide his joy as +every answer made him more certain that he was on the trail of the +fugitives.</p> +<p>The road was perfectly familiar. He had traversed it a hundred +times, and not having to inquire the way he had only to remember +and to reflect. An undercurrent of speculation had been flowing +through his mind as to where he should overtake the fugitives.</p> +<p>"They will have arrived almost at the edge of the great forest +and I will let them enter," he said to himself.</p> +<p>Having reached the foot of a long hill, he dismounted, led his +horse to a little brook and permitted him to drink. When the noble +animal had quenched his thirst, the quack patted his neck, picked +him a little wisp of grass and talked to him as if he were a +man.</p> +<p>"We will rest ourselves a little now, for we shall need all our +strength and nerve. One more b-b-burst of speed and we shall +overhaul them. Have you got your wind, Romeo? Come then, let us be +off!"</p> +<p>Once more he sprang into the saddle, the restive horse pawing +the ground and leaping forward before he was seated. His master +held him back while they ascended the long slope of the hill, and +stopped him as they gained its summit.</p> +<p>The descent was a gradual one, down into a beautiful valley. For +a mile or two the road was perfectly straight and the rider, +shading his eyes, glanced along it. In the distance a moving object +attracted his attention, and as he gazed at it, long and +strainingly, the terrible smile once more wreathed his white +lips.</p> +<p>He opened the holsters, drew out the pistols, examined them +carefully, replaced them, felt of the stirrup straps, tightened the +girth, settled himself in the saddle and shouted "Go!"</p> +<p>The command electrified the horse, and he dashed forward again +faster than ever. As they tore down the slope of the hill, it +occurred to the doctor that he had not formed any definite plan as +to what he should do to Pepeeta! "Shall I kill her, also?" he asked +himself.</p> +<p>The thought sent a shudder through him and he instinctively +pulled on the bridle.</p> +<p>"My heart will tell me," he cried aloud, and loosened the reins +of his horse and of his passions. The very semblance of humanity +seemed to be suddenly obliterated from his countenance. This was no +longer a man, but an agent of destruction rushing like a missile +projected from a cannon. There were only two things present to his +consciousness—the carriage upon which he was swiftly gaining, +and the fierce smiting of the horse's hoofs which seemed to be +echoing the cries of his heart for vengeance. On he swept, nearer, +nearer, nearer. He was now within hailing distance, and his brain +reeled; he forgot his discretion and his plan.</p> +<p>"Halt," he screamed, in a voice that cut the silent air like a +knife.</p> +<p>A face appeared above the top of the buggy, and looked back. It +was his foe.</p> +<p>With a howl of rage, he snatched a pistol from the holster and +fired. The bullet went wide of the mark and the next instant he saw +the whip-lash cut the air and descend on the flank of the startled +mare. The buggy lurched forward, and for an instant drew rapidly +away. Overwhelmed by the fear that he might be baffled in his +vengeance, he drew the other pistol and fired again more wide of +the mark than before.</p> +<p>With a wild oath he flung the smoking weapons into the road, and +again drove the spurs into the steaming sides of his horse. There +could be no doubt as to the result of the chase after that. The +half-maddened animal was overhauling the fugitives perceptibly at +every enormous stride, and in a few moments more shot by the buggy +and up to the head of the terrified mare. As he did so, his rider +reached out his left hand and caught the mare by her bridle, reined +up his own horse and threw both of the animals back upon their +haunches.</p> +<p>In another instant the two men stood confronting each other on +the road, the quack black and terrible, the Quaker white and calm. +Not a word was spoken, and like two wild beasts emerging from a +jungle they sprang at each other's throats. They were oddly, but +not unequally, matched, for while the doctor was short, thick-set +and muscular, but clumsy and awkward like a bear, David was tall +and slim, but lithe and sinewy as a panther. Locked in each other's +arms, they seemed like a single hideous monster in some sort of +convulsion.</p> +<p>As it was impossible for them in this deadly embrace to strike, +they wrestled rather than fought, and bit with teeth and tore with +hands with equal ferocity.</p> +<p>At the instant when the two infuriated men seized each other in +this deadly grip, Pepeeta fainted, while the terrified mare backed +the buggy into the bushes by the roadside. Romeo, snorting and +pawing the ground, approached the combatants, snuffed at them a +moment as if profoundly concerned at their strange maneuvers, then, +turning away, began to crop the rich blue grass in entire +indifference to the results of this mad quarrel between two foolish +men.</p> +<p>The combatants surged and swayed back and forth along the dusty +road, tripping and stumbling in vain efforts to throw each other to +the ground. Their danger lent them strength, and their hatred +skill. At last, after protracted efforts, they fell and rolled over +and over, now one on top, now the other. Suddenly and as if by a +single impulse changing their tactics, their right hands unclasped +and began to feel each for the other's throat. A sudden slip of +David's hold permitted the doctor to turn him over, and sprawling +across his breast he pinioned him to the earth. His great hand +stole toward the throat of his prostrate foe and fastened upon it +with the grip of an iron vise.</p> +<p>The beautiful face turned pale, then grew purple. This would +have been the last moment in the life of the Quaker had not his +right hand, convulsively clawing the road, touched a piece of +broken rock. It was as if a life-line had swung up against the hand +of a drowning man.</p> +<p>Through the body which had seemed to be emptied of all its +resources, a tide of reserve energy swelled, under the impulse of +which the exhausted youth untwisted the grip of the iron hand, +flung off the heavy body, mounted upon it, crowded the great head +with its matted hair and staring eyes down into the dust, seized +the stone with his right hand, raised it, and struck.</p> +<p>The effect of the blow was twofold—paralyzing the brain of +the smitten and the arm of the smiter. Across the low forehead of +the quack it left a great gaping wound like a bloody mouth. A +death-like pallor spread itself over his countenance, the lids +dropped back and left the eyes staring hideously up into the face +above them.</p> +<p>David's arm, spasmodically uplifted for a second blow, was +suspended in air. He did not move for a long time; and when at +length his scattered senses began to return he threw down the +stone, rose to his feet and exclaimed in accents of terror, "My +God! I have killed him."</p> +<p>He could not overcome the fascination of the lifeless face and +wide-staring eyes. They drew him towards them; he stooped down and +felt for the pulse, which was imperceptible; laid his hand upon the +heart, but could not feel it beat; he raised an arm, and it fell +back limp and lifeless.</p> +<p>Suddenly one elemental passion gave place to another. Horror had +displaced anger, and now in its turn gave way to the instinct of +self-preservation. He looked toward the carriage and saw that +Pepeeta had fallen into a swoon. "Perhaps she has not seen what has +happened," he said to himself, and a cunning smile lit up his pale +face.</p> +<p>Stooping down, he seized the loathsome object lying there in the +dust of the road and dragged it off into the thick shrubbery. +Stumbling along, he came to a hollow made by the roots of an +upturned tree. Into this he flung the thing, hastily; covered it +with moss and leaves, and stood staring stupidly at the rude +sepulchre. He experienced a momentary feeling of relief that the +hideous object was out of sight; but the consciousness of his guilt +and his danger soon surged back upon him like a flood. In such +moments the mind works wildly, like a clock with a broken spring, +but sometimes with an astonishing accuracy and wisdom.</p> +<p>It occurred to him that if he left the body where it was and it +should be eventually discovered, it would afford the gravest +suspicions of foul play; but that if he dragged it back again to +the road and laid it with its face in the dust, against the rock +with which the deed was done, it might pass for an accident.</p> +<p>Once more that hideous smile of cunning lit up the face which in +these few moments had undergone a mysterious deterioration. He +hastily removed the heap of rubbish, shuddered as he saw the +loathsome thing once more exposed to view, but seized it, dragged +it back, and placed it with consummate art in the position which +his criminal prescience had suggested.</p> +<p>As it lay there in the road nothing could have seemed more +natural than that it had fallen from the horse; he felt another +momentary relief from terror, in which he cunningly conceived a +still more sagacious plan, on noticing Romeo. They were the best of +friends; it was easy to catch him. He did so, removed the saddle, +broke the girth and placed it near the prostrate figure of the +quack. Nothing could have more perfectly resembled an accident. An +adept in crime could not have performed this task with finer skill, +and he was free now to turn to the rest of the work that he must do +to conceal this ghastly deed.</p> +<p>Approaching the buggy, he found to his immense relief that +Pepeeta was still unconscious. With swift and silent movements he +freed the mare, led her out into the road and drove hurriedly +away.</p> +<p>The wood through which they were passing was wide and somber. +The shadows of the evening had already begun to creep up the +tree-trunks and lurk gloomily among the branches. Plaintive bird +songs were heard from the treetops, and among them those of the +mourning dove, whose solemn, funereal note sent shudders through +the heart of the trembling fugitive.</p> +<p>But all had gone successfully so far, and he actually began to +cherish hope that he would escape detection. There still remained, +however, the uneasy fear that Pepeeta herself had been a witness of +the deed. Horrible as was his own consciousness of his crime, he +dared to hope that he could stand it, if only she did not know! He +dreaded to have her waken, and yet it seemed as if he could not +endure the suspense until he found whether she had seen the deed or +not.</p> +<p>Without trying to rouse her, he drove rapidly forward, and just +as he emerged from the wood came to another brook, so similar to +the one by the side of which the struggle had occurred, that he +conceived the idea of stopping by its side and awakening Pepeeta +from her stupor there. "She will not notice the difference," he +said to himself; "and if she did not witness the fatal blow I can +persuade her that I overpowered the doctor and forced him to return +while she was in her swoon."</p> +<p>Stopping the horse, he lifted her inanimate form from the +carriage, bore it to the side of the brook, laid it gently upon the +bank and dashed a handful of the cold water into her white face. +She gasped, opened her eyes, and, sitting up, looked about her with +an expression of terror.</p> +<p>"Where am I?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Do you not remember? You are here in the wood where the doctor +overtook us," he replied.</p> +<p>"And where is he?"</p> +<p>"He has returned."</p> +<p>"Has something dreadful happened?"</p> +<p>"Nothing."</p> +<p>"But I saw you clench with each other, and it was awful! What +happened then? I must have fainted. Did I?"</p> +<p>"Yes, you fainted. Were you so frightened?"</p> +<p>"Oh, terribly! I thought that you would kill each other! It was +horrible, horrible! But where is he now?"</p> +<p>"He has returned."</p> +<p>"Returned? Do you mean that he has gone back without me? How did +you persuade him to do that?"</p> +<p>"How did I persuade him? Ha! ha! I persuaded him with my fists. +You should have seen me, Pepeeta! Are you quite sure that you did +not see me? I should like you to know what a coward he was at last, +and how he went home like a whipped puppy."</p> +<p>"But did he acknowledge that he had deceived me?"</p> +<p>"He did indeed, upon his knees."</p> +<p>"And do you think he has gone, never to return?"</p> +<p>"Yes, he has gone, never to return," he answered, shuddering at +the double meaning of his words. "He made his confession and +relinquished his claim, and I made him swear that he would renounce +you forever. And so we have nothing to do but forget him and be +happy. Are you feeling better now?"</p> +<p>"Yes, I am better; but I am not well; I cannot shake it off. It +seems too dreadful to have been real. And yet how much better it is +than if one of you had been killed! Oh! I wish I could stop seeing +it" (putting her hands over her eyes). "Let us go! Let us leave +this gloomy wood. Let us get out into the sunshine. See! It is +getting dark. We must not stay here any longer."</p> +<p>"Yes, let us go," he said, rising, lifting her gently from the +ground and leading her back to the buggy in which they took their +seats and drove rapidly forward.</p> +<p>In a few moments they emerged from the forest. The sun was still +a little way above the horizon; its cheerful beams partially +restored Pepeeta's spirits, and David felt a momentary pleasure as +he saw a slight smile upon her pale countenance.</p> +<p>"Do you feel happier now?" he said.</p> +<p>"Yes, a little," she answered, looking into his face with eyes +suffused with tears. "And I am so thankful that you are safe!"</p> +<p>"And so you fainted before we fell?" he asked, compelled to +reassure himself.</p> +<p>"Did you fall?" she said, trembling again and laying her hand +upon his arm.</p> +<p>"There, there," he answered gently; "I ought not to have asked +you. We must never allude to it again. We must forget it. Will you +try?"</p> +<p>"Yes, I will try, but it is hard. It belongs to the past, and we +must live in the present and in the future. I will try. I love you +so, and I am so thankful that you are safe." As she said this, she +took his hand in both of hers and pressed it to her breast.</p> +<p>This tender caress produced a revulsion in his heart and he +shuddered. Pepeeta observed it. "What makes you tremble so?" she +asked.</p> +<p>"Nothing," he answered, regaining his self-control. "It is only +that I have been very angry, and I cannot recover from it at +once."</p> +<p>"No wonder," she said, taking his hand again and kissing it.</p> +<p>In the distance they saw the steeple of a church. "Look," said +David, "there must be a village near. We will top and rest here +to-night, and in the morning we will push on toward New Orleans and +forget the past."</p> +<p>They rode in silence. Pepeeta's thoughts were full of gladness; +and David's full of agony—they rushed tumultuously back and +forth through his mind like contrary winds through a forest.</p> +<p>"Was it not enough that I should be an Adam, and fall? Must I +also become a Cain and go forth with the brand of a murderer on my +forehead?" he kept saying to himself.</p> +<p>His life seemed destined to reproduce that whole series of +archetypal experiences, whose records make the Hebrew Scriptures +the inspired mirror of human life.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER +XVIII.</h2> +<h3>A FUGITIVE AND A VAGABOND</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"That is the bitterest of all,—to wear the yoke of our own +wrong-doing!"—Daniel Deronda.</p> +</div> +<p>The morning after the fight David and Pepeeta hurried on to +Louisville, and from there took a steamer to New Orleans.</p> +<p>However hard it is to find stepping-stones when one wishes to +rise, those by which he can descend have been skilfully planted at +every stage of life's journey, and Satanic ingenuity could not have +devised an instrument better fitted to complete the destruction of +the young mystic's moral nature than a Mississippi steamboat, such +as he found lying at the wharf. He had been subjected to the +fascination of love, now he was to be tried by that of money. It is +by a series of such consecutive assaults upon every avenue of +approach to the soul that it is at last reduced to ruin.</p> +<p>Pepeeta was radiant with joy as they embarked. "How happy I am!" +she cried. "It seems as if I had left my old life and the old world +behind me!"</p> +<p>"And I am happy to see you glad," answered the wretched youth, +whose heart lay in his bosom like lead and whose conscience was +writhing with a torture of whose like he had never even dreamed. +They embarked unknown and unobserved; but as soon as the first +confusion had passed, their singular beauty and unusual appearance +made them the cynosure of every eye.</p> +<p>"Who is that splendid fellow?" women asked each other, as David +passed with Pepeeta on his arm, while under their breaths men swore +that his companion was the loveliest woman who had ever set foot on +a Mississippi steamer.</p> +<p>The pilot forgot to turn his wheel and the stevedores to put out +the gang plank when she stood looking at them. Love, and her +freedom, had transfigured her. She was radiant with health, +happiness and hope, and entered into the novelty and excitement of +this floating world with the ardor of a child.</p> +<p>All was gaiety and animation oh board the vessel. People from +countries widely separated mingled with each other and chatted with +the greatest freedom on every subject of human interest. +Acquaintances were made without the formality of an introduction, +and it was not long before the two adventurers were drawn into +conversation.</p> +<p>"I have traveled all over the world," said a gentleman of +foreign air, "but I have never seen anything so picturesque as this +boat. Look at the variegated colors and styles of these costumes, +at the manifold types of countenance, at the blending of +races—black and white and red! Listen to the discordant but +altogether charming sounds, the ringing of the great bell, the roar +of the whistle, the splash of the paddlewheels, the songs of the +negroes, and the clatter of dishes in the cabins! It is a +hurly-burly of noise! Then what varied scenery, what constant +excitement at the landing, what a hodge-podge, a pot-pourri of +merchandise! There is nothing like it in the world."</p> +<p>"Wait until you see a race with another steamer," said an +officious Yankee, who rejoiced in a knowledge which frequent trips +had given him.</p> +<p>"Are they exciting?" asked the foreigner.</p> +<p>"Well I should say! I have seen horse races and prize fights in +my day, but I never ran against anything that shook up my nerves +like a race between two of these river boats! Every pound of steam +is crowded on, the engines groan like imprisoned devils, a darkey +sits on the safety valve, the stokers jam the furnaces, the +passengers crowd the gunwales, everybody yells at the top of his +voice until pandemonium is mere silence compared to it! And then +the betting! Lord, you never saw betting if you never saw a river +race."</p> +<p>"They bet, do they?"</p> +<p>"Bet? They don't do anything else! Just got on at Louisville? +Oh! well, you'll see sights in the cabin to-night that will open +your eyes. Isn't that so?" he asked, turning to a southern planter +who had been edging his way toward Pepeeta.</p> +<p>"Reckon the gentleman'll see a little gambling, sah, if that's +what you refeh to. I've heard those that ought to know say that a +Mississippi river boat is the toughest spot on top of earth for +little games of pokah and that soht of thing, sah. 'Spect the +gentleman can be accommodated if he likes a lively game of +chance."</p> +<p>"I don't expect to be surprised in that line," the foreigner +said, with the air of one who knew a thing or two; "for I have been +in Monte Carlo, Carlsbad and every famous gambling place in +Europe."</p> +<p>"Well, sah, I don't know; I have never been in those places +myself, but I have heard those who have say that what they play +there is mere 'penny ante' to what goes on in one of these yere +Mississippi boats. Like a little game now and then myself, sah. +Glad to have you join me."</p> +<p>While these men and others pretended to address their remarks to +David or to each other, their free glances were more and more +directed to Pepeeta who began to be embarrassed by them and gently +drew David away to more retired places. He went with her +reluctantly, for he was in need of excitement. The thought of his +crime was constantly agitating his heart, the prostrate form of the +doctor with the bloody wound on his forehead was never absent from +his mind, and through all the ceaseless rumble around him he could +hear the dull thud of the stone upon the hard skull. The efforts +which he made to throw off these horrible weights that crushed him +were like those of a man awakening from a nightmare. He scarcely +dared to speak for fear of uttering words which would betray him +and which seemed to tremble on his lips. Had he been on shore he +would have fled to the solitude of a forest; but here he was +resistlessly impelled to that other solitude—a crowd. The +necessity of being gay with his beautiful bride and of concealing +every trace of his terror and remorse taxed his resources to their +utmost limit, and in his nervousness he kept Pepeeta moving with +him all day long. At its close she was completely exhausted, and +retired early to her stateroom. Freed from her company and craving +relief from thought, David made his way straight to the gambling +tables where the nightly games were in full swing.</p> +<p>The claim of the southerner that the excitement at those tables, +when the river traffic was at its height, had never been surpassed +in the history of games of chance, was no exaggeration. Not a +semblance of restraint was put upon the players, and experts from +all over the world gathered to pluck the exhaustless supply of +victims, as buzzards assemble to feed on carrion. Fortunes were +made and lost in a night. Men sat down to play worth thousands of +dollars, and rose paupers! They staked and lost their money, their +slaves, their business and their homes. In the wild frenzy which +such misfortunes kindle the most shocking crimes were committed, +but the criminals were never called to account, for the law was +powerless.</p> +<p>What the fugitive sought was diversion, and he found it! +Tragedies became commonplace in those cabins. Men crowded into +single hours the experience and excitement of months. It was this +very night that an encounter occurred which is still a tradition on +the river.</p> +<p>An old planter approached a table where his son, who did not +know of his father's presence on the boat, was playing. He stood in +the background and watched a gambler strip the boy of his last +penny, and when the young fellow rose from his chair, white as a +sheet, he turned to look into the whiter face of his father. The +enraged parent did not speak a word, but took the seat left vacant +by the boy and commenced playing. Rage at the financial loss, +mortification at the boy's defeat, and old scores to be settled +with this very gambler, conspired to rouse him to a frenzy. His +terrible earnestness paralyzed the dealer, who seemed to form some +premonition of a tragic termination and lost his nerve. In a little +while, in the presence of a crowd of excited spectators, the father +won back the exact amount his son had lost, and then rising from +his chair sprang at the gambler, seized him, dragged him from the +cabin and flung him into the river.</p> +<p>Terrible as was the furor which this tragedy aroused, it +subsided almost as soon as the ripples of the water which closed +over the drowning man, and the players returned to their games as +if nothing had happened.</p> +<p>In the months which they had spent together the quack had +indoctrinated David into all the best-known secrets of this vice, +and besides this, had familiarized him with the use of a certain +"hold out" of his own invention, with which he had achieved +incredible results and which was new to the fraternity of the +river. Having watched the players for a long time, David convinced +himself that he could employ this trick successfully, and took his +place at the table.</p> +<p>The young man's nerves were tested by the circumstances in which +he found himself, if nerves are tested to tension anywhere, for he +faced the most experienced masters of the craft who could be found +anywhere in the world, and staked not only his little fortune, but +his existence, for, as he had just seen, these determined and +reckless men thought no more of taking life than of taking +money.</p> +<p>David felt his way along with a coolness that astonished +himself, and his very first experiment with the delicate apparatus +concealed in his sleeve was such a brilliant triumph that he saw it +was undetected. With a strengthened confidence, he made the stakes +larger and larger, and his winnings increased so rapidly as to make +him the center of attention. The crowd swarmed round the table. The +spectators became breathless. The gamblers were first astonished, +then bewildered. As their nerve failed them, David's assurance +increased, and when day broke ten thousand dollars lay upon the +table before him as the result of his skilful and desperate +efforts.</p> +<p>Their loss astonished and enraged the gamblers to such a degree +that with a preconcerted signal they sprang at their opponent, +determined to regain their money by violence. The move was not +unexpected, nor was he unprepared. He fought as he had played, and +so won the sympathies of the bystanders that in an instant there +was a general melée in which he was helped to escape with +the winnings.</p> +<p>He was the hero of the trip, and a career had opened before him. +Satellites began to circle around him and to solicit his friendship +and patronage.</p> +<p>When he disembarked at New Orleans he had already entered into a +partnership with one of the most notable members of the gambling +fraternity, and purchased an interest in one of those "palaces" +where games of chance attracted and destroyed their thousands.</p> +<p>The newspapers made the gay throngs of that gayest of all cities +familiar with the incidents of David's advent. He and Pepeeta +became the talk of the town. They rented a fashionable house, and +swung out into the current of the mad life of the metropolis of the +South.</p> +<p>For a little while this excitement and glory softened the pain +in the heart of the man who believed himself to be a murderer and +encouraged him to hope that it might eventually pass away. He +played recklessly but successfully, for he was a transient favorite +of the fickle goddess. When gambling lost its power to drown the +voice of conscience, there was the race, the play and the wine cup! +To each of them appealing in turn, he went whirling madly around +the outer circles of the great maelstrom in which so many brilliant +youths were swallowed in those ante-bellum days.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></a>CHAPTER XIX.</h2> +<h3>ALIENATION</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"There can never be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual +respect, until, in their dialogue, each stands for the whole +world."—Emerson.</p> +</div> +<p>For two years David and Pepeeta lived together in New Orleans. +They were years full of import, and of trouble. A baby came to +them, lingered a few weeks, and then died.</p> +<p>David pursued the occupation he had chosen, with the +vicissitudes of fortune usually attending the votaries of games of +chance, and the moral and spiritual deterioration which they +invariably develop.</p> +<p>Pepeeta altered strangely. Her bloom disappeared and an +expression of sadness became habitual on her face. She was +surrounded by luxuries of every kind, but they did not give her +peace. With an ambition which never flagged she sought self +improvement, and attained it to a remarkable degree. Endowed with +an inherited aptitude for culture, she read and studied books, +observed and imitated elegant manners, and rapidly absorbed the +best elements of such higher life as she had access to, until her +natural beauty and charm were wonderfully enhanced. Yet she was not +happy, for her life with David had brought her nothing but surprise +and disappointment; something had come between them, she knew not +what.</p> +<p>"Dey des growed apaht," said the old negro "mammy," who was with +them during those two years. "Seemed to des tech each other like +mahbles at a single point, stade of meltin' togedder lak two drops +of watah runnin' down a window pane. Mars' David, he done went he +own way, drinkin', gamblin' and cussin'; he lak a madman when he +baby die. He seem skeered when he see Miss Pepeeta. She look at him +wid her big black eyes full of wonder and s'prise, stretch out her +li'l han's, and when he run away or struck her, she des go out to +the li'l baby's grave, creeping along lak a shadder through the +gyahden, soft lak and still. Dar she des set down all alone and +sigh lak de breeze in de ole pine tree. Some days she gone away all +alone and de brack folks say she wanner all aroun' in de woods. +When Sunday come, she des slip into de churches lak a li'l mouse +and nibble up de gospel crumbs and den run away before de priests +cotch her. Dark days dose, in de ole Ballantrae mansion! And den +come de night when dey pahted. You done heah about dat?"</p> +<p>The old colored mammy was right. "They just grew apart," as it +was inevitable that they should. Perfect self-manifestation is the +true principle and law of love, and when a guilty secret comes +between two lovers, suspicion and fear inevitably result. They +become incomprehensible to each other.</p> +<p>David's secret preyed upon him night and day like that insect +which, having once entered the brain of an elk, gnaws ceaselessly +at it until the miserable victim's last breath is drawn. While he +retained for Pepeeta a devotion which tormented him with its +intensity, his guilt made him tremble in her presence. He shuddered +when he approached her, like a worshiper who enters a shrine with a +stolen offering. Instead of calming and soothing him as she would +have done had he only suffered some misfortune instead of +committing a sin, she filled him with an unendurable agitation. If +the nerves are diseased, a flute can rasp them as terribly as a +file.</p> +<p>As for Pepeeta, she must have been bewildered by this phenomenon +which she could not possibly comprehend, for while she saw her +lover swayed from his orbit she could not see the planet which +produced the disturbance. Feeling that he had not given her his +full confidence she resented his distrust, and as his melancholy +and irritability increased, withdrew more and more into herself, +and in that solitude sought the companionship of God.</p> +<p>It was a frightful discipline; but she was sanctified by it.</p> +<p>Day by day she became more patient, gentle and resigned, and in +proportion as she grew in these graces, her lover's awe and fear +increased, and so they drifted farther and farther apart.</p> +<p>Such relationships cannot continue forever, and they generally +terminate in tragedy.</p> +<p>After the first few months' excitement of his new life, David's +conscience began to torment him anew. He became melancholy, then +moody, and finally fell into the habit of sitting for hours among +the crowds which swarmed the gambling rooms, brooding over his +secret. From stage to stage in the evolution of his remorse he +passed until he at last reached that of superstition, which attacks +the soul of the gambler as rust does iron. And so the wretched +victim of many vices sat one evening at the close of the second +year with his hat drawn down over his eyes, reflecting upon his +past.</p> +<p>"What's the matter, Davy?" asked a player who had lost his +stake, and was whistling good-humoredly as he left the room.</p> +<p>"Nothing," he muttered.</p> +<p>"Brace up, old man! There is no use taking life so hard! You've +got everything, and I've got nothing; and I am happy and you are +miserable. Brace up, I say!" And with that he slapped him +familiarly on the shoulder.</p> +<p>"Leave me alone," David growled, and reached for a glass mug +containing a strong decoction to which he was resorting more and +more as his troubles grew intolerable. A strange thing happened! As +he put it to his lips its bottom dropped upon the table and the +contents streamed into his lap and down to the floor. It was the +straw that broke the camel's back, for it had aroused a +superstitious terror.</p> +<p>With a smothered cry he sprang to his feet and gazed around upon +his companions. They, too, had observed the untoward accident, and +to them as well as to him it was a symbol of disaster. Not one of +them doubted that the bottom would fall out of his fortunes as out +of his glass, for by such signs as these the gambler reads his +destiny.</p> +<p>He pulled himself together and made a jest of the accident, but +it was impossible for him to dissipate the impression it had made +on the minds of his companions or to banish the gloom from his own +soul. And so after a few brave but futile efforts to break the +spell of apprehension, he slipped quietly away, opened the door and +passed out into the night.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX"></a>CHAPTER XX.</h2> +<h3>THE INEVITABLE HOUR</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"How shall I lose the sin yet +keep the sense,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And love th' offender, yet detest +the offense?"</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Pope.</span></p> +<p>After wandering aimlessly about the city for awhile the +half-crazed gambler turned his footsteps toward home. He longed for +and yet dreaded its quiet and repose. The forces of attraction and +repulsion were so nearly balanced that for a long time he +oscillated before his own door like a piece of iron hung between +the opposite poles of a battery.</p> +<p>At last he entered, both hoping and fearing that Pepeeta would +be asleep. He had a vague presentiment that he was on the verge of +some great event. The guilty secret so long hidden in the depths of +his soul seemed to have festered its way dangerously near to the +surface, and he felt that if anything more should happen to +irritate him he might do something desperate.</p> +<p>So quiet had been his movements that he stood at Pepeeta's door +before she knew that he had entered the house, and when he saw her +kneeling by her bedside he stamped his foot in rage. The worshiper, +startled by the interruption, although she was momentarily +expecting it, hastily arose.</p> +<p>As she turned toward him, he saw that there was a light on her +pale countenance which reflected the peace of God to whom she had +been praying, as worshipers always and inevitably reflect, however +feebly, the character of what they worship. Her beauty, her +humility, her holiness goaded him to madness. He hated her, and yet +he loved her. He could either have killed her or died for her.</p> +<p>She smiled him a welcome which revealed her love, but did not +conceal her sadness nor her suffering, and, approaching him, +extended her hands for an embrace. He pushed her aside and flung +himself heavily into a chair.</p> +<p>"You are tired," she said soothingly, and stroked his hair.</p> +<p>He did not answer, and her caress both tranquilized and frenzied +him.</p> +<p>She placed before him the little lunch which she always prepared +with her own hands and kept in readiness for his return.</p> +<p>"Take it away," he said.</p> +<p>She obeyed, and returning seated herself upon an ottoman at his +feet.</p> +<p>The silence was one which it seemed impossible to break, but +which at last became unendurable.</p> +<p>"How often have I told you never to let me find you on your +knees when I come home?" he at last asked, brutally.</p> +<p>"Oh! my beloved," she exclaimed, "you will at least permit me to +kneel to you! See! I am here in an attitude of supplication! Listen +to me! Answer me! What is the matter? Do you not love me any more? +Tell me!"</p> +<p>He drew away his hands which she had clasped, and folded them +across his breast.</p> +<p>"What has come between us?" she continued. "Tell me why it is +that instead of growing together, we are continually drawing apart? +Sometimes I feel that we are drifting eternally away from each +other. I can no longer get near to you. An ocean seems to roll +between us! What does it mean? Is this the nature of love? Does it +only last for a little time? Do you not love me any more? Will you +never love me again?"</p> +<p>He still gazed sullenly at the floor.</p> +<p>"Will you not answer me?" she begged imploringly. "I cannot +endure it any longer. My heart will break. I am a woman, you must +remember that! I need love and sympathy so much. It is my daily +bread. What is the matter? I beseech you to tell me! Is it your +business? Do you feel, as I do, that it is wrong? I have sometimes +thought so, and that you were worried by it and would be glad to +give it up but for the fear that it might deprive me of some of +these luxuries. Is it that? Oh! you do not know me. You do not know +how happy I should be to leave these things forever, and to go out +into the street this very night a pauper. It is wrong, David. I see +it now. I feel it in the depths of my heart."</p> +<p>"Wrong, is it," he cried savagely, "and whose fault is it that I +am in this wrong business?"</p> +<p>"It is mine," she said, "mine! I own it. It was I who led you +astray. How often and how bitterly have I regretted it! How strange +it is, that love like mine could ever have done you harm. I do not +understand this. I cannot see how love can do harm. I have loved +you so truly and so deeply, and I would give my life for you, and +yet this love of mine has been the cause of all your trouble! It +would seem that love ought to bless us. Would you not think +so?"</p> +<p>He sat silent; any one but Pepeeta could have seen that this +silence would soon be broken by an explosion.</p> +<p>"Speak to me, my love!" she pleaded, "speak to me. I confess +that I have wronged you. But is there not something that I can do +to make you happy? Surely a wrong like this cannot be irreparable. +Tell me something that I can do to make you happy!"</p> +<p>With a violent and convulsive effort, he pushed her away and +exclaimed fiercely, "Leave me! Do not touch me! I hate you!"</p> +<p>"Hate me?" she cried, "hate me? Oh! David. You cannot mean it. +You cannot mean that you hate me?"</p> +<p>"But I do!" he exclaimed bitterly. "I hate you. You have ruined +me, and now you confess it. From the time that I first saw you I +have never had a moment's peace. Why did you ever cross my path? +Could you not have left me alone in my happiness and innocence? +Look at me now. See what you have brought me to. I am ruined! But I +am not alone. You have pulled yourself down with me. What will you +say when I tell you that you are involved in a crime that must drag +us both to hell?"</p> +<p>"A crime?" she cried, clasping her hands in terror.</p> +<p>"Yes, a crime. You need not look so innocent. You are as guilty +as I, or at least you are as deeply involved. We are bound together +in misery. We are doomed."</p> +<p>"Doomed! Doomed! What do you mean? Tell me, I implore +you—- do not speak in riddles!"</p> +<p>"Tell you? Do you wish to know? Are you in earnest? Then I will! +You are not my wife! There! It is out at last!"</p> +<p>Pepeeta sprang to her feet and stood staring at him in +horror.</p> +<p>"Not your wife?" she gasped.</p> +<p>"No, not my wife," he said, repeating the bitter truth. "I +deceived you. You were married to your beast of a husband lawfully +enough; but as you would not leave him willingly, I determined that +you should leave him any way. And so I bribed the justice to +deceive you."</p> +<p>"You-bribed-the-justice-to-deceive-me?"</p> +<p>"Yes, bribed him. Do you understand? You see now what your +cursed beauty has brought you to?"</p> +<p>She stood before him white and silent.</p> +<p>He had risen, and they were confronting each other with their +sins and their sorrows between them.</p> +<p>It was as if a flash of lightning had in an instant lit up the +darkness of her whole existence, and she saw in one swift glance +not only her misery, but her sin. He was cruel; but he was right. +She had been ignorant; but she had not been altogether innocent. +There was a period in this tragedy when she had gone against the +vague but powerful protest of her soul. With a swift and true +perception she traced her present sorrow to that moment in the +twilight when, against that protest, she besought David to +accompany them on their travels. She felt, but did not observe nor +heed that admonition. She had even forgotten it, but now it rose +vividly before her memory.</p> +<p>These moments of revision, when the logic of events throws into +clear light the vaguely perceived motives of the soul, are always +dramatic and often terrible.</p> +<p>It was Pepeeta who broke the silence following David's outburst. +In a voice preternaturally calm, she said, "We are in the presence +of God, and I demand of you the truth. Is what you have told me +true?"</p> +<p>"As true as life. As true as death. As true as hell," he +answered bitterly.</p> +<p>"This, then," she said, "is the clue to all this mystery. The +tangled thread has begun to unravel. Many times this suspicion has +forced itself upon my mind; but it was too terrible to believe! And +yet I, who could not endure the suspicion, must now support the +reality."</p> +<p>They had not taken their eyes from each other and were trying to +penetrate each other's minds, but realized that it was impossible. +There was in each something that the other could not +comprehend.</p> +<p>The strain on his overwrought nerves soon became unendurable to +David, and he sank into a chair.</p> +<p>"Well," he said, as he did so, "what are you going to do about +it?"</p> +<p>She had not at first realized that the emergency called for +action, but this inquiry awakened her to the consciousness that she +was in a situation from which she must escape by an effort of her +will. She was before a horrible dilemma and upon one horn or the +other she must be cruelly impaled.</p> +<p>But David, who asked the question, had not realized this +necessity at all.</p> +<p>"Do?" she said, "do? Must I do something? Yes, you are right. We +cannot go on as we are. Something must be done. But what? Is it +possible that I must return to my husband? How can I do +that—I who cannot think of him without loathing! What is the +matter? Why do you tremble so? Is it then as terrible to you as to +me? I see from your emotion that I am right. And yet I cannot see +what good it will do! How can it undo the wrong? It will be a +certain sort of reparation, but it cannot bring him happiness, for +I cannot give him back my heart. To whom will it bring happiness? +Has happiness become impossible? Are we all three doomed to eternal +misery? Oh! David, why have you done this?"</p> +<p>He did not reply, but sat cowering in his chair.</p> +<p>"Forgive me," she cried, when she noticed his despair, "I did +not mean to reproach you, but I am so bewildered! And yet I see my +duty! If he is my husband, I must go back to him. A wife's place is +by her husband's side. I do not see how I can do it, but I must. +How hard it is! I cannot realize it. The very thought of seeing him +again makes me shudder! And yet I must go!"</p> +<p>"It is impossible," gasped the trembling creature to whom she +looked for confirmation.</p> +<p>"Why impossible?"</p> +<p>"Because, because—he—is—dead," he whispered, +through his dry lips.</p> +<p>"Dead? Did you say dead?" Pepeeta cried. "When did he die? How +did he die?"</p> +<p>"I killed him," he shouted, springing to his feet and waving his +hands wildly. "There! It has told itself. I knew it would. It has +been eating its way out of my heart for months. I should have died +if I had kept it secret for another moment. I feel relieved +already. You do not know what it means to guard a secret night and +day for years, do you? Oh, how sweet it is to tell it at last. I +killed him! I killed him! I struck him with a stone. I crushed his +skull and turned him face downward in the road and left him there +so that when they found him they would think that he had fallen +from his horse. It was well done, for one who had had no training +in crime! No one has suspected it. I am in no danger. And yet I +could not keep the secret any longer. Explain that, will you? If my +tongue had been torn out by the roots, my eyes would have looked +it, and if my eyes had been seared with a red-hot iron, my hands +would have written it. A crime can find a thousand tongues! And now +that I have told it, I feel so much happier. You would not believe +it, Pepeeta. I am like myself again. I feel as if I should never be +unkind or irritable any more. The load has fallen from my heart. +Come, now, and kiss me. Let me take you in my arms."</p> +<p>Extending his hands, he approached her. As he did so, the look +of horror with which she had regarded him intensified and she +retreated before him until she reached the wall, looking like a +sea-bird hurled against a precipice by a storm. Such dread was on +her face that he dared not touch her.</p> +<p>"What is the matter?" he said. "Are you afraid of me?"</p> +<p>She did not reply, but gazed at him as if he were some monster +suddenly risen from the deep. He endured the glance for a single +moment, and then, realizing the crime which he had committed had +excited an uncontrollable repulsion for him in her soul, he +staggered backward and sank once more into his chair, the picture +of helpless and hopeless despair.</p> +<p>For a long time Pepeeta gazed at him without moving or speaking. +And then, as she beheld his misery, the look of horror slowly +melted into one of pity, until she seemed like an angel who from +some vast distance surveys a sinful man. Gradually she began to +realize that he who had committed this dreadful deed was her own +lover, and that it was the result of that guilty affection which +they bore each other. The consciousness of her own complicity +softened her. She moved towards him; she spoke.</p> +<p>"Forgive me," she said, "for seeming even for a moment to +despise and abhor you. It was all so sudden. I do not mean to +condemn you. I do not mean to act or feel as if I were any less +guilty than you are in all this wrong. But when one has to face +something awful without preparation, it is very hard. No wonder +that we do not know what to do. Who but God can extricate us from +this trouble? We are both guilty, David. I think that it is because +I have had so large a share in all the rest that has been wrong +that I cannot now feel towards you as I think I ought. It is true +that you have injured me terribly and irretrievably. It is true +that your hands are stained with blood, and yet I love you! My +heart yearns for you this moment as never before since we have +known each other. I long to take you in my arms."</p> +<p>He interrupted her by springing from his chair and attempting to +embrace her; but she waved him back with a strange majesty in her +mien, and continued. "I long to take you to my heart and comfort +you. I could live with you or I could die with you. But there is a +voice within my soul that tells me that we must part. Lives cannot +be bound together by crime. While misfortunes and mistakes may knit +the hearts of lovers together, evil deeds must force them apart! We +are not lawfully married, and so—"</p> +<p>"But we can be!" he exclaimed.</p> +<p>"No," she answered, in a voice that sounded to him like that of +destiny. "No, we cannot. No one would marry us if the facts were +known. And if we concealed them from others, we could not hide them +from ourselves! We have no right to each other. We could not +respect and therefore we could not truly love each other. Into +every moment of our lives this guilty secret would intrude. No, it +is impossible. I see it clearly. Every passing moment only makes it +more plain. It is terrible, but it is necessary, and what must be, +must!"</p> +<p>"We shall not part!" he cried, springing towards her and seizing +her by the wrist. "God has bound us together and no man shall put +us asunder! We are as firmly linked by vice as by virtue. This +secret will draw us together! We cannot keep away from each other. +I should find you if you were in heaven and I in hell. You are +mine! mine, I say! Nothing shall part us. Have I not suffered for +you and sinned for you? What better title is there than that? It +was not the sin, but the secret which has alienated us, and now +that I am not compelled to guard it any longer, there can be no +more trouble between us. The deed has passed unsuspected. We should +have heard of it long ago if any one had ever doubted that it was +an accident. Let the dead past bury its dead! Let us be happy."</p> +<p>He looked down upon her as if his will were irresistible; but +she remained unmoved and immovable, and gazed at him with deep, sad +eyes in which he saw his doom.</p> +<p>"No," she answered, calmly, "it is impossible. You need not +argue. You cannot change my mind. I see it all too clearly. We must +part."</p> +<p>"Oh! pity me," he cried, falling on his knees. "What shall I do? +I cannot bear this burden alone. It will crush me. Have mercy, +Pepeeta. Do not drive me away. I cannot endure to go forth with +this brand of Cain upon my forehead and realize that I shall never +hear from your lips another word of love or comfort. Pity me. You +are not God. He has not put justice into your hands for execution. +You are only human!"</p> +<p>"Alas," she cried, "and all too human. But, my beloved, I am not +acting for myself. It is not my mind or heart that speaks. It is +God speaking through me. I feel myself to be acting under an +influence apart from myself. We have resisted these voices and this +influence too long. Now we must obey them."</p> +<p>"But, Pepeeta," he continued, "you do not really think that you +have the power to suppress the love you feel for me?"</p> +<p>"I shall not try," she answered.</p> +<p>"But can you not see that this passion of ours will bring us +together again? Sooner or later, love will conquer. It conquers or +crushes. Everything gives way to it at last. It disrupts the most +solemn contracts. It burns the strongest bonds like tow. Always and +everywhere, men and women who love will come together. It is the +law of life, it is destiny. We cannot remain apart, we are linked +together for time and eternity."</p> +<p>She listened to him calmly until he had finished and then said, +"Nevertheless, I must go. And I will go now; delay is useless. I +see only too clearly that as long as I am near, you must steadily +get worse instead of better. While you possess the fruits of your +sin you will not truly repent. You must either surrender them or be +deprived of them. We can never become accustomed to this awful +secret. Our lives are doomed to loneliness and sorrow; we must +accept our destiny; we must go forth alone to seek the forgiveness +of God. Good-bye; but remember, David, in every hour of trial, +wherever you may be, there will be a never-ceasing prayer ascending +to God for you. My life shall be devoted to supplication. I shall +never lose hope; I shall never doubt. Love like that I bear you +must in some way be redemptive in its nature. All will be well. +Once more, good-bye."</p> +<p>She smiled on him with unutterable tenderness, and with her eyes +still fixed upon his haggard face began to move slowly toward the +door.</p> +<p>He did not stir; he could not move, but remained upon his knees +with his hands extended towards her in supplication.</p> +<p>Like some exalted figure in a dream he saw her vanish from his +sight; the world became empty and dark; his powers of endurance had +been overtaxed; he lost all consciousness, and fell forward on the +floor.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXI" id="CHAPTER_XXI"></a>CHAPTER XXI.</h2> +<h3>A SIGNAL IN THE NIGHT</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"How far that little candle throws his beams!"</p> +<p>—Merchant of Venice.</p> +</div> +<p>A month of dangerous and almost fatal sickness followed. When at +last, through the care of a faithful negro "mammy," the +much-enduring man crept out from the valley of the shadow of death, +he learned that Pepeeta had secured a little room in a tenement +house and was supporting herself with her needle, in the use of +which she had become an expert in those glad hours when she made +her baby's clothes, and those sad ones when she sat far into the +night awaiting David's return.</p> +<p>On the morning of the first day in which he was permitted to +leave the house he made his way to Pepeeta's new quarters.</p> +<p>"And so this is to be her home," he said with a shudder as he +looked up to the attic window. Every day this pale young man was +seen, by the curious neighbors, hovering about the place. As for +the object of his love and solicitude, she began at once to be a +bread-winner. The delicate girl who never in her life until now had +experienced a care about the necessities of existence began to +struggle for bread in company with the thousands of poor and needy, +creatures by whom she found herself surrounded. The only hunger she +experienced was that of the heart. She soon became conscious of +David's presence, and derived from it a pleasure which only added +to her pain. She avoided him as best she could, and her +determination and her sanctity prevented him from approaching +her.</p> +<p>David could never remember how many days were passed in this +way, for he lost count of time, and lived more like a man in a +dream than like one in a world of life and action.</p> +<p>But as his strength slowly returned, he grew more and more +restive under the restraint which Pepeeta's will imposed upon him. +And so, while he did not dare to approach her in person, he +determined to put his case to a final test, and if he could not win +her back to leave forever a place in which he was doomed to suffer +perpetual torment.</p> +<p>In the execution of this purpose, he wrote her a letter in +which, after passionately pleading for her love, he asked her to +give him a sign of willingness to take him once more back into her +life. "If I may cherish hope of your ultimate relenting," he wrote, +"place your candle on the window sill. I will wait until midnight, +and if you extinguish it then, I shall accept your decision as +final, and you will be responsible for what follows. I am a +desperate man, and life without you has become intolerable."</p> +<p>With this letter in his hand, he waited until the street was +quiet and the halls of the tenement house deserted, and then crept +up the long staircase with trembling knees.</p> +<p>On tiptoe he picked his way across the corridor and slipped the +note under the door. So quietly did he step that he did not hear +his own footfall; but it did not escape the ears of the woman who +sat stitching her life into the garment lying upon her knees. There +is often in a footfall music sweeter than bird songs or harp +tones.</p> +<p>Having thrust the letter under the door, David fled hastily down +the stairway and into the street, where he began to pace back and +forth like a sentry on his beat, never for a single instant losing +sight of the window whence streamed the feeble rays of the candle +from which he was to receive the signal of hope or despair.</p> +<p>Never did a condemned felon in a cell watch for the coming of a +messenger of pardon with more wildly beating heart than his as he +gazed at that window up in the wall of the gloomy tenement house. +Never did a mariner on a storm-tossed vessel keep his eye more +resolutely fixed on beams from a distant lighthouse.</p> +<p>It was then ten o'clock, and as he watched the slow-moving hands +upon the moonlit dial in the church tower, it seemed to him they +were held back by invisible fingers, and there came to his mind a +forgotten story of a man who, having been accidentally imprisoned +in a sepulchre, suffered in the twenty minutes which elapsed before +his release all the pangs of starvation, so powerfully was his +imagination excited. This story which he had once discredited he +now believed, for it seemed to him as if eternities were being +crowded into single moments.</p> +<p>He had also heard that drowning men could review their entire +lives in the few instants that preceded their loss of +consciousness, and he acquired a new comprehension of this mystery. +All the experiences of his entire existence swept through his mind +again and again with a rapidity and a distinctness that astonished +him. Like a great shuttle darting back and forth through a fabric, +his mind seemed to be passing again and again forward and backward +through all the scenes of the past. Finally, and after what seemed +uncounted ages, the great clock struck the hour of midnight. One, +two, three—he stood like a man rooted to the +ground,—four, five, six—his heart beat louder than the +bell,—seven, eight, nine—the blood seemed bursting +through his temples,—ten, eleven, twelve!—the light +went out! The universe seemed to have been instantaneously +swallowed up in darkness. He could not see the figure that crept to +the window and gazed down upon him from behind the drapery of the +curtains. He did not know that Pepeeta had fallen upon her knees in +an agony deeper than his own, and was gazing down at him through +streaming tears. In those few succeeding moments the sense of his +personal loss was displaced by a sudden and overpowering sense of +his personal guilt. The full consciousness of his sin burst upon +him. He saw the selfishness of his love and the wickedness of his +lust in a light brighter than day.</p> +<p>There is a kind of rhododendron about Trebizond of which the +bees make a honey that drives people mad! He saw that illicit love +was that honey of Trebizond! He felt, as he had never felt before, +the pressure of that terrible power that over all and through all +the discords and sins of life makes resistlessly for righteousness. +He perceived that a system of wheels is attached to every thought +and act, and that, each one sets in motion the entire machinery of +justice. He felt that every sleepless starry eye in heaven +penetrated the guilty secrets of his soul and was pledged to the +execution of judgment.</p> +<p>These perceptions confounded him with fear. His thoughts ceased +to move in order, tossing and teasing each other like straws in the +wind. They ceased to illumine the depths of his soul and only hung +like flickering candles above a dark mine.</p> +<p>Whether he looked up or down, without or within, he saw no hope, +but it was not until after the lapse of many and unnoted moments +that the disturbed machinery of his mind began to move. He awakened +as from a nightmare, drew his hands across his eyes and looked this +way and that as if to get his bearings.</p> +<p>"What next?" he said aloud, as if speaking to some one else. +Receiving no answer, he turned instinctively toward his gambling +house, and went stumbling along through the deserted streets. What +is a man, after all, but a stumbling machine? Progress is made by +falling forward over obstacles! The poor stumbler tottered across +his own threshold into that brilliant room where he had always +received an enthusiastic welcome, but which he had not visited +since his sickness. If ever a man needed kindness and encouragement +it was he; but his sensitive spirit instantly discovered that all +was changed.</p> +<p>His superstitious companions had not forgotten the broken glass, +and had heard of his subsequent calamities. With them the lucky +alone were the adorable! The gods of the temples of fortunes are +easily and quickly dethroned and the worshipers had already +prostrated themselves before other shrines.</p> +<p>The coldness of his greeting sent a chill to his already +benumbed heart and increased his desperation. He was nervous, +excited, depressed, and feeling the need of something to distract +his thought from his troubles, he sat down and began to play; but +from the first deal he lost—lost steadily and heavily.</p> +<p>The habitués of the place exchanged significant glances +as much as to say, "I told you so!"</p> +<p>Whispered phrases passed from lip to lip.</p> +<p>"He is playing wild."</p> +<p>"He has lost his nerve."</p> +<p>"His luck has turned."</p> +<p>And so indeed it had! Within a few short hours he had staked his +entire fortune and lost it. It had gone as easily and as quickly as +it had come.</p> +<p>"I guess that is about all," he said, pushing himself wearily +back from the table at which he had just parted with the title to +his desolated home.</p> +<p>"Shall I stake you, Davy?" asked one of his friends, touched by +the pathos of the haggard face and hopeless voice.</p> +<p>"No," he answered, rising. "I have played enough. I am going +away. Good-bye, boys."</p> +<p>Without another word, he left them and passed out of the +door.</p> +<p>"Good-bye," they cried, as he vanished, scarcely raising their +eyes from the tables.</p> +<p>Even in a crowd like that there will generally be found some +heart which still retains its tenderness. The young man who had +offered to stake him, followed the ruined gambler into the +street.</p> +<p>"Where are you going, old man?" he said kindly, slipping his +hand through David's arm.</p> +<p>"I don't know," he answered absently.</p> +<p>"Are you dead broke, Davy?"</p> +<p>"Dead broke," in a lifeless echo.</p> +<p>"Will you accept a little loan? You can't go far without +money."</p> +<p>"It's no use."</p> +<p>"Take it! I wouldn't have had it if it hadn't been for you, and +I won't have it long whether you take it or not."</p> +<p>As he spoke he slipped a roll of bills into his friend's +pocket.</p> +<p>"Thanks!" said David.</p> +<p>"Don't mention it," he replied.</p> +<p>"Good-bye."</p> +<p>"Good-bye."</p> +<p>The sun was just rising as they parted. The first faint stir of +life was perceptible in the city streets; the green-grocers were +coming in with their fresh vegetables; the office boys were opening +the doors and putting away the shutters; there was a bright, +morning look on the faces which peered into the haggard countenance +of the gambler as he crept aimlessly along, but the fresh, sweet +light gave him neither brightness nor joy. His heart was cold and +dead; he had not even formed a purpose.</p> +<p>And so he drifted aimlessly until the current that was setting +toward the levee caught him and bore him on with it. The sight of a +vessel just putting out to sea communicated to his spirit its first +definite impulse and he ascended the gang-plank without even +inquiring its destination.</p> +<p>In a few moments the boat swung loose and turned its prow down +the river. The bustle of the embarkation distracted him. He watched +the hurrying sailors, gazed at the piles of merchandise, walked up +and down the deck, listened to the fresh breeze that began to play +upon the great, sonorous harp of the shrouds and the masts, and +when at last the vessel glided out into the waters of the gulf he +lay down in a hammock and fell into a long and dreamless sleep.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXII" id="CHAPTER_XXII"></a>CHAPTER XXII.</h2> +<h3>HEART HUNGER</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 7.5em;">"Only; I discern</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Infinite passion, and the +pain</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Of finite hearts that +yearn."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Browning.</span></p> +<p>For a moment after she had read the note which David thrust +beneath her door, Pepeeta held her breath; then sinking to her +knees, she prostrated herself before that august Being to whom all +men bow in last extremities; her head resting upon arms +pathetically crossed on the low window sill—bruised but not +broken, cast down, but not destroyed—she drank the cup of +sorrow to its dregs.</p> +<p>Men hang birds in dark rooms, sometimes, until they learn to +sing, and it was to a kindred discipline of her Heavenly Father's +that Pepeeta was being subjected. In that supreme hour of trial she +performed the greatest feat of which the soul is capable. She +defied her own nature; she committed an act of sacred violence +against the most clamorous propensities of her heart.</p> +<p>What that struggle cost her no mortal mind can know. That in her +decision she chose the better part some will doubt. The most common +justification of our conduct is that we have followed the "dictates +of our natures." But because those natures are double, and the good +and evil perpetually struggle for the mastery, we are sometimes +compelled to reverse their most strenuous demands.</p> +<p>Those lofty souls who are enabled to perceive their duty clearly +and to commit bravely this act of sacred violence must always +remain a mystery to those who meanly live upon a lower plane of +existence.</p> +<p>It was as certain when this pure soul entered upon her renewed +struggle to find the path of duty that she would succeed, as that +the carrier pigeon, launched into an unknown region, will find the +homeward way; but for a little time she fluttered her wings in +ignorance and despair; she found no rest for the soles of her feet, +and the ark of refuge was nowhere to be seen.</p> +<p>The nearness of her lover, she could see him in the street; his +sorrow, she could behold his white face even by the pale light of +the moon; his tender love, whose real depth she had never for a +moment doubted; his bitter agony, which she knew she could +terminate in a single instant, all appealed to her with an +indescribable power. Her own sorrow and loneliness were eclipsed by +the consciousness of the sorrow and loneliness of the man whom she +loved more than life. She felt the pain in his bosom far more than +in her own; but this feeling which added so much to her suffering +became a clear interpreter of her duty.</p> +<p>She acted from a single, undivided impulse; it was to do him +good and bring to him the final beatitude of life. She saw as +clearly as when the facts about this tragedy were flashed upon her +that her presence in David's life would be a perpetual source of +irritation, and that so long as he possessed her he would never be +able to face the truly spiritual problems which remained to be +solved.</p> +<p>How she acquired those powers of divination is a mystery. Such +women possess a certain prescience that cannot wholly be accounted +for. What Pepeeta did was right because she was Pepeeta. It does +not follow that because such natures see so clearly that they act +with less pain than others. Indeed, the more clear those spiritual +perceptions, the more poignant are the sufferings which they +involve; life can scarcely afford a situation more pathetic than +hers.</p> +<p>Alone in a great city, young and beautiful, capable of enjoying +happiness with a singular appreciation, the victim of a complicated +set of circumstances for the comprehension and management of which +her early life had afforded no training; guilty of a great sin, but +if one could say so, innocently guilty, and penitent; consecrated +to duty, but torn asunder by conflicting emotions as if upon a +wheel—of what deeper sorrow is the soul capable?</p> +<p>When she extinguished that candle she extinguished the sun of +her human happiness; but it happened to her as it has happened to +countless others, that in the darkness which ensued she saw a +myriad beautiful stars.</p> +<p>The next morning Pepeeta resolutely took up the heavy burden of +her life and bore it uncomplainingly, adjusting herself as the +brave and patient have ever done, to the necessities of her daily +existence. Her little attic room became a sort of sanctuary, and +began to take upon itself a reflection of her nature. She built it +to fit her own character and needs, as a bird builds its nest to +fit its bosom.</p> +<p>It may be said of most of us that we secrete our homes as the +snails do their shells. They become a sort of material embodiment +of our spirits, a physical expression of our whole thought about +life. Before long flowers were blooming in Pepeeta's window; a +mocking bird was singing in a cage above it; on the wall hung the +old tambourine and one after another many little inexpensive but +brightening bits and scraps of things such as women pick up by +instinct found their places in this simple attic.</p> +<p>She seldom left it for the outside world, except when she went +to deliver the work she had finished, and on Sundays when she spent +the morning wandering from one church to another. As a consequence +of these brief but regular pilgrimages her beautiful face became +familiar to the residents of some of the side streets where the +women and children made her low courtesies and the men doffed their +hats by that divine instinct of reverence which we all feel in the +presence of the beautiful and the good.</p> +<p>A double craving devours our human hearts—for solitude and +for companionship. As there are hours when we thirst to be alone, +there are others when we hunger for the touch of a human hand, the +glance of a human eye, a smile from human lips. Even gross, +material things like food and drink lose half their flavor when +taken in solitude. Pepeeta needed friends and found them.</p> +<p>We never know how small a part of ourselves that fraction may be +which we have taken for the whole! We come to know ourselves by +struggle and endeavor, more than by thought and meditation. We have +only to do our work each day in hope and trust. We can only find +rest in effort. It is not in repose, but in activity—not in +joy, but in sorrow, that the soul comes to its second birth. +Pepeeta needed labor and suffering, and they were sent her.</p> +<p>She accepted all that followed her supreme decision without a +question and without a murmur for many months, and then—a +reaction came! The draughts upon her physical and emotional nature +had been too great.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIII" id="CHAPTER_XXIII"></a>CHAPTER +XXIII.</h2> +<h3>WHERE I MIGHT FIND HIM</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Attempt the end, and never +stand to doubt,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Nothing's so hard but search will +find it out."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Herrick.</span></p> +<p>During several months of loneliness and sorrow a great change +had been taking place in the mind of the patient sufferer, of which +she was only vaguely conscious.</p> +<p>Purposes are often formed in the depths of our souls, of which +we know nothing until they suddenly emerge into full view. Such a +purpose had been slowly evolving in the heart of Pepeeta.</p> +<p>The strain which she had been undergoing began at last to +exhaust her physically.</p> +<p>Her vital force became depleted, her step grew feeble, the light +died out of her eyes, she drooped and crept feebly about her room. +The determination which she had so resolutely maintained to live +apart from her guilty lover slowly ebbed away. She was, after all, +a woman, not a disembodied spirit, and her woman's heart yearned +unquenchably for the touch of her lover's hand, for the kisses of +his lips, for the comfort of his presence.</p> +<p>This longing increased with every passing hour. Fatigue, +weariness, loneliness, steadily undermined her still struggling +resistance to those hungerings which never left her, till at last, +when the failing resources of her nature were at their lowest +point, all her remaining strength was concentrated into a single +passionate desire to look once more upon the face which glowed +forever before her inner eye, or at least to discover what had +befallen the wanderer in his sin and wretchedness.</p> +<p>Slowly the diffused longing crystallized into a fixed purpose, +to resist which was beyond her power. Having nobly conquered +temptation while she had strength, and yielded only when her +physical nature itself was exhausted, she gathered up the few +possessions she had accumulated, sold them for what they would +bring, and, with a heart palpitating wildly, broke every tie she +had formed with the life around her and turned her face toward the +little village where her happiness and sorrows had begun.</p> +<p>It was a long and tedious journey from New Orleans to Cincinnati +in those days, and it told terribly upon the weakened constitution +of the wayfarer. Her heart beat too violently in her bosom; a +fierce fever began to burn in her veins; she trembled with terror +lest her strength fail her before she reached her journey's end. It +was not of Death himself that she was afraid; but that he should +overtake her before she had seen her lover!</p> +<p>Husbanding her strength as shipwrecked sailors save their bread +and water, she counted the days and the miles to the journey's end, +and having arrived at the wharf of the Queen City, the pale young +traveler who had excited the compassion of the passengers, but who +would neither communicate the secret of her sorrow nor accept of +any aid, took her little bundle in her thin hand and started off on +the last stage of her weary pilgrimage. It was the hardest of all, +for her money was exhausted and there was nothing for her to do but +walk.</p> +<p>It was a cold December day. Gray clouds lowered, wintry winds +began to moan, and she had proceeded but a little way when light +flakes of snow began to fall. The chill penetrated her thin +clothing and shook her fragile form. She moved more like a wraith +than a living woman. Her tired feet left such slight impressions in +the snow that the feathery flakes obliterated one almost before she +had made another, and she was haunted by the thought that every +trace of her passage through life was thus to disappear!</p> +<p>Ignorant of the distance or the exact direction, and stopping +occasionally to inquire the way, she plodded on, the exhaustion of +hunger and weariness becoming more and more unendurable. All that +she did now was done by the sheer force of will; but yield she +would not. She would die cheerfully when she had attained her +object, but not before. The winds became more wild and boisterous; +they loosened and tossed her black hair about her wan face; they +beat against her person and drove her back. Every step seemed the +last one possible; but suddenly, just as she descended the slope of +a steep hill, she saw the twinkling lights of the village and the +feeble rays shot new courage into her heart. Under this accession +of power she pushed forward and made her way toward the old Quaker +homestead.</p> +<p>The night had now deepened around her; but every foot of the +landscape had been indelibly impressed upon her memory, and even in +the gathering gloom she chose the road unerringly. There were only +a few steps more, and reeling toward the door yard fence she felt +her way to the gate, opened it, staggered forward up the path in +the rays of light that struggled out into the darkness, and with +one final effort fell fainting upon the threshold.</p> +<p>The scene within the house presented a striking contrast to that +without. In a great open fireplace the flames of the beech logs +were wavering up the chimney. Seated in the radiance of their +light, on a low stool, was a young boy with his elbows upon his +knees and his cheeks in the palms of his hands. His mother sat by +his side stroking his hair and gazing at him in fond, brooding +love. The father was bending over a Bible lying open on the table; +it was the hour of prayer. He was reading a lesson from the +twenty-fifth chapter of St. Matthew, and had just articulated in +slow and reverent tones the words of Jesus, "I was a stranger and +ye took me in," when they heard a sound at the door.</p> +<p>Father, mother and son sprang to their feet and, hurrying +towards the door, flung it open and beheld a woman's limp form +lying on the threshold.</p> +<p>It was but a child's weight to the stalwart Quaker who picked it +up in his great arms and carried it into the radiance of the great +fireplace, and in an instant he and Dorothea his wife were pushing +forward the work of restoration. They forced a cordial between the +parted lips, chafed the white hands, warmed the half-frozen feet, +and in a few moments were rewarded by discovering feeble signs of +life. The color came back in a faint glow to the marble face, the +pulses fluttered feebly, the bosom heaved gently, as if the +refluent tide of life had surged reluctantly back, and the tired +heart began once more to beat. She had regained her life but not +her consciousness, and lay there as white and almost as still as +death. The little boy stood gazing wonderingly at her from a +distance. The calm features of the Quaker were agitated with +emotion. His wife knelt by the side of the pale sleeper, and her +tears dropped silently on the hand which she pressed to her +lips.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIV" id="CHAPTER_XXIV"></a>CHAPTER XXIV.</h2> +<h3>SAFE HAVEN</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"The human heart finds shelter +nowhere but in human kind."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—George Eliot.</span></p> +<p>For many days Pepeeta's life hung in the balance, her spirit +hovering uncertainly along the border land of being, and it was +only love that wooed it back to life.</p> +<p>When at length, through careful nursing, she really regained her +consciousness and came up from those unfathomable abysses where she +had been wandering, she opened her eyes upon the walls of a little +chamber that looked out through an alcove into the living room of +the Quaker house.</p> +<p>Dorothea had finished her afternoon's work and was seated before +the great fireplace, while by her side stood Steven, speaking to +her in whispers, and looking often toward the cot on which Pepeeta +lay. An almost sacred stillness was in the room, for since the +advent of the sufferer, even the quiet of that well-ordered +household had deepened and softened.</p> +<p>The silence was suddenly broken by a voice feeble and tremulous, +but very musical and sweet. It was Pepeeta, who gazed around her in +bewilderment and asked in vague alarm, "Where am I?"</p> +<p>Dorothea was by her side in an instant, and taking the thin +fingers in her strong hands, replied: "Thee is among friends."</p> +<p>Pepeeta looked long into the calm face above her, and gathered +reassurance; but her memory did not at once return.</p> +<p>"Have I ever been in this place before? Have I ever seen your +face? Has something dreadful happened? Tell me," she entreated, +gazing with agitation into the calm eyes that looked down into +hers.</p> +<p>"I cannot tell thee whether thee has ever seen us before, but we +have seen thee so much for a few days that we feel like old +friends," said Dorothea, pressing the hand she held, and +smiling.</p> +<p>Pepeeta's eyes wandered about the room restlessly for a moment, +and then some dim remembrance of the past came back.</p> +<p>"Did I come here in a great storm?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Thee did, indeed. The night was wild and cold."</p> +<p>"Did I fall on the threshold?"</p> +<p>"Upon the very threshold, and let us thank God for that, because +if thee had fallen at the gate or in the path we should never have +heard thee."</p> +<p>Pepeeta struggled to a sitting posture as her memory clarified, +fixed her wide open eyes upon Dorothea and asked, pathetically, +"Where is he?"</p> +<p>"I do not know who thee means," said Dorothea, laying her hand +on the invalid's shoulders and trying gently to push her back upon +her pillow.</p> +<p>"David!" she exclaimed, "David. Tell me if you know, for it +seems to me I shall die if I do not hear."</p> +<p>"I do not know, my love. It is a long time since we have heard +from David. But thee must lie down. Thee is not strong enough to +talk."</p> +<p>She did not need to force her now. The muscles relaxed, and +Pepeeta sank back upon her pillow, sobbing like a little child, +while Dorothea stroked her forehead. The soothing touch of her hand +and her gentle presence calmed the agitated and disappointed heart. +The sobs became less frequent, the tears ceased to flow, and sleep, +coming like a benediction, brought the balm of oblivion.</p> +<p>The boy, with his great brown eyes, looked wonderingly from the +face of the invalid to that of his mother, who sat silently weaving +in her imagination the story of this life, from the few strands +which she had seized in this brief and broken conversation.</p> +<p>The next morning when Pepeeta awakened she was not only rested +and refreshed by this natural sleep, but was restored to the full +possession of her consciousness and her memory.</p> +<p>When Dorothea came in from her morning duties to see how her +patient fared, she was startled by the change, for the invalid had +recovered that calm self-possession which she had lost before +beginning her journey, and now that her uncertainty was ended had +already begun to face disappointment with fortitude and +resolution.</p> +<p>The nurse seated herself by the patient, who said humbly:</p> +<p>"May I talk now?"</p> +<p>"If thee feels strong enough and can do it without exciting +thyself, thee may. But if thee cannot, thee had better wait a +little longer. Thee is very weak."</p> +<p>"But I am much better, am I not?"</p> +<p>"Yes, thee is much better, but thee is far from well."</p> +<p>"Yes, I am far from well; but it will do me good to talk. I have +much to tell, and I cannot rest until I tell it all."</p> +<p>"Thee need not hurry—need thee?"</p> +<p>"Yes—I feel in haste. I have no right to all this +kindness, for I have done this household a great wrong and I must +confess it. It is a sad, sad story. Will you listen to it now?"</p> +<p>"If it will do thee good instead of harm, I will."</p> +<p>"Then prop me up in bed, if you please. Place me so that I can +talk freely. There, thank you. You are so gentle and so kind. I +have never in all my life had any one touch me so gently. And now, +if you are ready, be seated in the great chair and turn your face +to the wall."</p> +<p>"To the wall?"</p> +<p>"Yes, to the wall. I cannot bear to see the reproaches that must +fill those kind eyes."</p> +<p>"But, my dear, thee shall not see any reproaches in my eyes. Who +am I that I should judge thee? We are commanded in the holy Bible +to judge not, lest we be judged again. Tell thy story without fear. +Thee shall tell it to ears that shall hear thee patiently, and a +heart that is not devoid of pity."</p> +<p>"I cannot, cannot," cried Pepeeta, "do as I pray! Look out of +the window. Look anywhere but at my face. Let me lie here and look +up. Let me tell my story as if to God alone. It will be easy for me +to do that, for I have told it to Him again and again."</p> +<p>Fearing to agitate her, Dorothea did as she desired.</p> +<p>"Are we alone?"</p> +<p>"Yes, all alone."</p> +<p>"Well, then, I will begin," Pepeeta said, and in a voice choked +with emotion, the poor sufferer breathed out the tale of her sin +and her sorrow. She told all. She did not shield herself, and +everywhere she could she softened the wrong done by David. It was a +long story, and was interrupted only by the ticking of the great +clock in the hallway, telling off the moments with as little +concern as when three years before it had listened to the story +told to David by his mother. When the confession was ended a +silence followed, which Dorothea broke by asking gently:</p> +<p>"May I look, now?"</p> +<p>"If you can forgive me," Pepeeta answered.</p> +<p>The tender-hearted woman rose, approached the bedside and kissed +the quivering lips.</p> +<p>"Have you forgiven me?" Pepeeta asked, seizing the face in her +thin hands and looking almost despairingly into the great blue +eyes.</p> +<p>"As I hope to be forgiven," Dorothea answered, kissing her again +and again.</p> +<p>A look of almost perfect happiness diffused itself over the pale +countenance.</p> +<p>"It is too much—too much. How can it be? It was such a +great wrong!" she exclaimed,</p> +<p>"Yes, it was a great wrong. Thee has sinned much, but much shall +be forgiven if thee is penitent, and I think thee is. No love nor +pardon should be withheld from those who mourn their sins. Our God +is love! And we are so ignorant and frail. It is a sad story, as +thee says, but it is better to be led astray by our good passions +than by our bad. I have noticed that it is sometimes by our holiest +instincts that we are betrayed into our darkest sins! It was +heaven's brightest light—the light of love—that led +thee astray, my child, and even love may not be followed with +closed eyes! But thee does not need to be preached to."</p> +<p>Astonished at such an almost divine insight and compassion, +Pepeeta exclaimed, "How came you to know so much of the tragedy of +human life, so much of the soul's weakness and guilt; you who have +lived so quietly in this happy home?"</p> +<p>"By consulting my own heart, dear. We do not differ in ourselves +so much as in our experiences and temptations. But thee has talked +enough about thy troubles. Tell me thy name? What shall we call +thee?"</p> +<p>"My name is Pepeeta."</p> +<p>"And mine is Dorothea."</p> +<p>"Oh! Dorothea," Pepeeta exclaimed, "do you think we shall ever +see him again?"</p> +<p>"I cannot tell. We had made many inquiries and given up in +despair. And now when we least expected news, thee has come! We +will cherish hope again. We were discouraged too easily."</p> +<p>"Oh! how strong you are—how comforting. Yes, we will +cherish hope, and when I am well I will start out, and search for +him everywhere. I shall find him. My heart tells me so."</p> +<p>"But thee is not well enough, yet," Dorothea said, with a kind +smile, "and until thee is, thee must be at rest in thy soul and, +abiding here with us, await the revelation of the divine will."</p> +<p>"Oh, may I stay a little while? It is so quiet and restful here. +I feel like a tired bird that has found a refuge from a storm. But +what will your husband say, when he hears this story?"</p> +<p>"Thee need not be troubled about that. His door and heart are +ever open to those who labor and are heavy laden. The Christ has +found a faithful follower in him, Pepeeta. It was he who first +divined thy story."</p> +<p>"Then you knew me?"</p> +<p>"We had conjectured."</p> +<p>"Then I will stay, oh, I will stay a little while, and perhaps, +perhaps—who knows?" she clasped her hands, her soul looked +out of her eyes, and a smile of genuine happiness lit up her sad +face.</p> +<p>"Yes, who knows?" said Dorothea, gently, rearranging the pillows +and bidding the invalid fall asleep again.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXV" id="CHAPTER_XXV"></a>CHAPTER XXV.</h2> +<h3>THE LITTLE LAD</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Better to be driven out from among men, than to be disliked of +children."</p> +<p>—Dana.</p> +</div> +<p>Pepeeta took her place in this hospitable household as an orphan +child might have done. Just as a flower unfolding from a plant, or +a bird building its nest in a tree is almost instantly "at home," +so it was with Pepeeta.</p> +<p>When she was strong enough to work, she began to assume domestic +cares and to discharge them in a quiet and beautiful way which +brought a sweet relief to the full hands of the overburdened +housewife. And her companionship was no less grateful to Dorothea +than her help, for life in a frontier household in those pioneer +days was none too full of animation and brightness, even for a +quiet nature like hers. To Steven she soon became a companion; and +Jacob, the father, yielded no less quickly and easily to the charms +of this strange guest than did mother and child.</p> +<p>He was a man of earnest piety and of deep insight into human +nature. He had, as Dorothea said, made shrewd guesses at Pepeeta's +story before she told it, and had formed his own theories as to her +nature and her errand.</p> +<p>"I tell thee, Dorothea, she is a lady," were the words in which +he had uttered his conclusions to his wife, in one of their many +conversations about the mysterious stranger.</p> +<p>"What makes thee think so?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Every feature of that delicate face tells its own history. +These three years of contact with David and a different life could +never have so completely wiped out the traces of the vulgar +breeding of a gypsy camp and the low education of a rogue's +society, unless there were good blood in those veins. Mark my word, +there is a story about that life that would stir the heart if it +were known."</p> +<p>"No wonder David loved her," said the wife.</p> +<p>"No wonder, indeed. But if it is as it seems, there is a mystery +in their influence on each other that would confound the subtlest +student of life."</p> +<p>"To what does thee refer?"</p> +<p>"Two such natures ought to have made each other better instead +of worse by contact. You can predict what frost and sunlight, water +and oil, seed and soil will do when they meet; but not men and +women! Two bads sometimes make a good, and two goods sometimes make +a bad."</p> +<p>"Thee thinks strange thoughts, Jacob, and I do not always follow +thee, but even if it be wrong, I cannot help wishing that our dear +David could have had her for his lawful wife," said Dorothea.</p> +<p>"The tale is not all told yet," responded her husband, opening +his book and beginning to read.</p> +<p>With feelings like these in their hearts, they could not but +extend to Pepeeta that sympathy which alone could soothe the sorrow +of her soul. The sweet atmosphere of this home; the consciousness +that she was among friends; the knowledge that they would do all +they could to find the wanderer whom every one loved with such +devotion, gave to Pepeeta's overwrought feelings an exquisite +relief.</p> +<p>Her natural spirits and buoyant nature, repressed so long, began +to reassert themselves, and soon burst forth in gladness. The +change was slow, but sure, and by the time the spring days came and +it was possible to get out into the open air, the color had come +back to the pale face and the light to the dimmed eyes. She was +like a flower transplanted from some dark corner into an open, +sunny spot in a garden. But that which, more than all else, tended +to develop within her graces still unfolded, was her constant +contact with Steven. A subtle sympathy had been established between +them from their very first meeting and they gradually became almost +inseparable comrades. Their common love of outdoor life took them +on long walks into the woods, from which they came burdened with +the first blossoms of the springtime, or they would return from the +river, laden with fish, for Steven insisted upon making Pepeeta his +companion in every excursion; nor was it hard to persuade her to +join him, she was so naturally a creature of the open air and +sunlight.</p> +<p>Among the many happy days thus passed, one was especially +memorable. Steven had told her much of a famous fishing place in +the big Miami, several miles away, and had promised that if she +would go with him on the next Saturday he would show it to her and +also reveal a secret which no one knew but himself and in which she +could not but take the greatest interest. The day dawned bright and +clear, and while the dew was still on the grass they started.</p> +<p>One of Pepeeta's sources of enjoyment in these excursions was +the constant prattle of the boy about that uncle whose long absence +had served rather to increase than to diminish the idolatry of his +heart. This morning, so like the one on which Pepeeta had seen +David by the side of the brook when first they met, awakened all +the fervor of her love and she could think of nothing else.</p> +<p>"You must point out to me all the places where you and your +uncle have ever been together, little brother," she said to him, as +they crossed the field where she had first caught sight of David at +the plow.</p> +<p>"Why does thee care to know so much about him?" he asked, +näively looking up into her face.</p> +<p>"Do you not know?" she inquired.</p> +<p>"No, I have asked father and mother, but they will not tell +me."</p> +<p>"If I tell you, will you be true to me?"</p> +<p>"Won't I, though? I love thee. I would fight for thee, if I were +not a Quaker's son! Perhaps I would fight for thee anyway."</p> +<p>"You will not need to fight for me, dearest. I could tell you a +story about fighting that would make you wish never to fight again. +Perhaps I will, sometime; but not now, for this must be a happy day +and I do not want to sadden it by telling you too much about the +shadows that cloud my life."</p> +<p>He looked up with a pained expression. "Has thee had troubles?" +he asked.</p> +<p>"Great troubles, and they are not ended yet. I should be very +wretched, but for you and your dear parents. You are but a child, +and yet it would comfort me to tell you that I love your uncle with +a love that can never die. And so when I ask you about him you will +tell me everything you know, will you not? And remember that in +doing so you are helping to make happy a poor heart that carries +heavy burdens. There, that will do. I have told you more, perhaps, +than I ought; but although you are young, I am sure that you are +brave and true. And so, if there is any story about your uncle +which you have never told me, let me hear it now. And if there is +not, tell me one that you have told me over and over again."</p> +<p>"Did I ever tell thee how he saved a little lamb from +drowning?"</p> +<p>"No! did he do that?"</p> +<p>"Yes, he did! Thee knows that when the snow melts, this little +brook swells up into a great river and sometimes it happens so +suddenly that even the grown people are scared. It did that day, +and came just pouring out of those woods and through the meadow +where our old Maisie was playing with two little lambs. One of them +was bounding around her, and it slipped over the edge of the bank +and fell into the bed of the creek. It wasn't a very high bank, you +know; but the lamb was little, and it just stood bleating in the +bed, and its mother stood bleating on the bank. Well, Uncle David +heard them and started to see what was the matter, and though the +rain had begun to fall, he ran across the field as hard as he +could. But by the time he reached the place the flood caught up the +little lamb and rolled it over and over like a ball. Uncle Dave +didn't even wait to take off his coat, but plunged right into that +water, boiling like a soap kettle, and swam out and grabbed that +little lamb and hung to it until he landed down there on a high +bank a quarter of a mile away. What does thee think of that, +Pepeeta?"</p> +<p>Her eyes kindled; pride swelled in her heart, and her spirits +rose with that wild feeling of joy with which women always hear of +the bold deeds of those they love.</p> +<p>"How beautiful and noble he is," she cried.</p> +<p>"And strong!" added the boy, to whose youthful imagination +physical prowess was still the greatest grace of life. And as he +said it they reached a little rivulet so swollen by the spring +rains as to be a formidable obstacle to their progress. Steven had +not considered it in laying out their route and stood before it in +dismay.</p> +<p>"How is thee ever going to get across?" he asked, and then under +the impulse of a sudden inspiration rushed to the fence, took off +the top rail and hurrying to the side of the brook flung it across +for a bridge, with all the gallantry of a Sir Walter Raleigh.</p> +<p>But the spirits of his companion were too high to accept of aid! +The strength of her lover had communicated itself to her, and with +a light, free bound, she leaped to the other side.</p> +<p>The boy's first feeling was one of chagrin at having his offer +so proudly scorned; but his second was that of boundless pride at a +feat so worthy of the hero whose praises they had just been +sounding. "Hurrah!" he cried, bounding after her and flinging his +hat into the air.</p> +<p>"Thee is as good a jumper as a man," he exclaimed, regarding her +with astonishment and admiration.</p> +<p>As they moved forward Nature wove her spells around them and +they gave themselves utterly to her charms, pausing to look and +listen, rapt in an ecstasy of communion and sympathy. Pepeeta's +familiarity with the flowers was greater than Steven's, but she +knew little about birds, and propounded many questions to the young +naturalist whose knowledge of the inhabitants of field, forest and +river seemed to be communicated by the objects themselves, rather +than by human teachers.</p> +<p>"Hark! What is that bird, singing on the top of that tall +stake?" she asked, pausing to listen, her hand lifted as if to +invoke silence.</p> +<p>"That? Why, it's a meadow lark," said Steven.</p> +<p>"And there is another, 'way up in the top of that tall tree. Oh! +how sweet and rich his song is. What is his name?"</p> +<p>"That's a red bird, and if thee listens thee can hear a brown +thrasher over there in the woods."</p> +<p>They paused and drank in the rich music until each of these +voices was silenced, and out of a copse of dense shade by the +brookside there began to bubble a spring of melody so liquid, so +clear, and withal of such beauty, that Pepeeta trembled with +delight, hearing in that audible melody the unheard songs of the +soul itself.</p> +<p>"What is it, Steven?" she asked in a whisper.</p> +<p>"Why, that is a cat bird! Doesn't thee know a cat bird? I cannot +remember when I did not know what that song was! It is such a crazy +bird! It has only two tunes and is like our teacher at school. She +either praises or else scolds us. And that is the way with the cat +bird. It is either talking love to its mate, or else abusing it! I +don't like such people or such birds; I like those who have more +tunes. Now thee has a lot of tunes, Pepeeta!"</p> +<p>This quaint reflection and delicate compliment broke the bird's +spell and made Pepeeta laugh,—a laugh as musical and sweet as +the song of the bird itself. It passed through the fringe of trees +along the river bank, rippled across it over against the smooth +face of a cliff and came back sweetly on the spring air.</p> +<p>"Oh! did you hear the echo?" Pepeeta exclaimed.</p> +<p>"That is what I brought thee here for!" he said. "Uncle David +taught me how to make it answer and told me what it was. It +frightened me at first. Let us get close up to the water and +listen!"</p> +<p>He took her by the hand and drew her along.</p> +<p>"Is it here that you are to tell me the secret?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Oh, no," he said. "The echo tells its secrets! It is nothing +but a blab any way. But I do not tell mine until the right time +comes! Thee must wait."</p> +<p>They came out upon the edge of the river which makes a sweep +around a sharp corner on the opposite side of which was "Echo +Rock." There they stood and shouted and laughed as their voices +came back upon the still air softened and etherealized.</p> +<p>Becoming tired of this sport at last, the boy picked up a flat +stone from the river's edge and said, "Can thee skip a stone, +Pepeeta? I never saw a girl that could skip a stone."</p> +<p>"But I am not a girl," she said.</p> +<p>"Oh, but thee was a girl once, and if thee did not learn then +thee cannot do it now. Come, let me see thee try. Here is a stone, +and a beauty, too; round, flat and smooth. That stone ought to make +sixteen jumps!"</p> +<p>"But you must show me how," she said.</p> +<p>"All right, I will," he replied, and sent one skimming along the +smooth surface of the water.</p> +<p>"Beautiful," she said, clapping her hands as it bounded in ever +diminishing saltations and with a finer skill than that of Giotto, +drew perfect circles on the watery canvas.</p> +<p>Delighted with the applause, the child found another stone and +gave it to Pepeeta. She took it, drew her hand back and tossed it +awkwardly from her shoulder. It sank with a dull plunge into the +stream, while out of the throat of the lad came a great and joyous +shout of laughter. "I knew thee could not," he said. "No girl that +ever lived could skip a stone!"</p> +<p>And then he threw another and another, and they stood enchanted +as the beautiful circles widened away from their centers and +crossed each other in ever-increasing complexity of curve.</p> +<p>Steven did his best to teach Pepeeta this very simple art; but +after many failures, she exclaimed:</p> +<p>"Oh dear, I shall never learn! I am nothing but a woman after +all! Let us hasten to the fishing pool, perhaps I shall do better +there."</p> +<p>"Don't be discouraged. Thee can learn, if thee tries long +enough!" Steven said encouragingly, and led the way to a deep pool +a few rods farther up the river. It was a cool, sequestered, lovely +spot. Great trees overhung it, dark waters swirled swiftly but +quietly round the base of a great rock jutting out into it; little +bubbles of froth glided dreamily across it and burst on its edges; +kingfishers dropped, stone-like, into it from the limbs of a dead +sycamore, and the low, deep murmurs of the flood, as it hurried by, +whispered inarticulately of mysteries too deep for the mind of man +to comprehend. Except for this ceaseless murmur, silence brooded +over the place, for the song-birds had hidden themselves in the +wood, and the two intruders upon the sacred privacy, by an +unconscious sense of fitness, spoke in whispers.</p> +<p>"Beautiful!" said Pepeeta.</p> +<p>"Hush! See there!" Steven exclaimed, in an undertone, and +pointing to a spot where a fish had broken the still surface as he +leaped for a fly and plunged back again into the depths.</p> +<p>His eye glowed, and his whole figure vibrated with +excitement.</p> +<p>"And did your Uncle David used to bring you here?" Pepeeta +asked.</p> +<p>"Well, I should say," he whispered. "He used to bring me here +when I was such a little fellow that he sometimes had to carry me +on his back. He was the greatest fisherman thee ever saw. I cannot +fish so well myself!"</p> +<p>And with this ingenuous avowal, at which Pepeeta smiled +appreciatively, they laid their baskets down, and Steven began +preparing the rude tackle.</p> +<p>"Did thee ever bait a hook, Pepeeta?" he asked under his +breath.</p> +<p>"I never did, but I think I can," she answered doubtfully.</p> +<p>And then he laughed again, not loudly, but in a fine chuckle +which gave vent to his joy and expressed his incredulity in a +manner fitting such solitude.</p> +<p>"If thee cannot skip a stone I should like to know what makes +thee think that thee can bait a hook," he said, still speaking in +low whispers. "I have seen lots of girls try it, but I never saw +one succeed. Just the minute they touch the worm they begin to +squeal, and when they try to stick it on the hook, they generally, +have a sort of fit. So I guess thee had better not try. Just let me +do it for thee; I'll fix it just as my Uncle David used to for me +when I was a little fellow, and helpless like a girl." Pepeeta +laughed, and Steven laughed with her, although he did not know for +what, and they took their poles and sat down by the side of the +stream, the child intent on the sport and the woman intent on the +child.</p> +<p>He was an adept in that gentle art which has claimed the +devotion of so many elect spirits, and gave his soul up to his work +with an entire abandon. The waters were seldom disturbed in those +early days when the country was sparsely settled, and the fish took +the bait recklessly. One after another the boy flung them out upon +the bank with smothered exclamations of delight, with which he +mingled reproaches and sympathy for Pepeeta's lack of success.</p> +<p>She was catching fish he knew not of, drawing them one by one +out of the deep pools of memory and imagination.</p> +<p>There is one thing dearer to a boy than catching fish. That is +cooking and eating them.</p> +<p>Hunger began at last to gnaw at Steven's vitals and to make +itself imperatively felt. He looked up at the sun as if to tell the +time by its location, though in reality he regulated his movements +by that infallible horologue ticking beneath his jacket.</p> +<p>"It must be after twelve," he said, although it was not yet +eleven.</p> +<p>"Where are we going to have our dinner?" Pepeeta asked.</p> +<p>"Come, and I will show thee," he replied, flinging down his pole +and gathering his fish together.</p> +<p>Pepeeta followed him as he led the way up from the river's side +to a ledge of rocks that frowned above it.</p> +<p>Rounding a cliff, they came suddenly upon the mouth of a cave +where Steven threw down the fish, assumed an air of secrecy, took +Pepeeta by the hand and led her toward it, whispering:</p> +<p>"This is the robbers' cave."</p> +<p>"And is it within its dark recesses that we are to eat our +dinner?" Pepeeta asked, imitating his melodramatic manner.</p> +<p>"Yes! No one in the world knows of it, but Uncle Dave and me. We +always used to cook our dinner here, and play we were robbers."</p> +<p>Pepeeta saw the ashes of fires which had been built at the +entrance, an old iron kettle hanging on a projecting root, a coffee +pot standing on a ledge of a rock, and fragments of broken dishes +scattered about, and entered with all her heart into an adventure +so suddenly recalling the vanished scenes of her gypsy childhood. +The eyes of the boy glistened with delight as he perceived the +unmistakable evidences of her enjoyment.</p> +<p>"And so this is your secret!" she exclaimed.</p> +<p>"Not by a good deal!" he answered, "Thee is not to know the real +secret until we have had our dinner. I will build the fire and +clean the fish, and if thee knows how, thee can cook them."</p> +<p>"Oh, you need not think I don't know anything—just because +I cannot skip stones and bait hooks," Pepeeta said gaily, and with +that they both bustled about and before long the smoke was curling +up into the still air, and the fragrant odor of coffee was +perfuming the wilderness.</p> +<p>While they were waiting for the fish to fry, Pepeeta regaled her +enchanted listener with such fragments of the story of her gypsy +life as she could piece together out of the wrecks of that time. He +was overpowered with astonishment, and the idea that he was sitting +opposite to a real gypsy, at the mouth of a cave, filled up the +measure of his romantic fancy and perfected his happiness. He hung +upon her words and kept her talking until the last crust had been +devoured and she had repeated again and again the most trivial +remembrances of those far off days.</p> +<p>The boy's bliss had reached its utmost limit, and yet had not +surpassed the woman's. The vigorous walk through the woods; the +silent ministrations of nature; the simple food; the sweet +imaginative associations with David; but above all that most +recreative force in nature,—the presence and prattle of a +child,—filled her sad heart with a happiness of which she had +believed herself forever incapable.</p> +<p>They sat for a few moments in silence, after Pepeeta had +finished one of her most charming reminiscences, and then Steven, +springing to his feet, exclaimed:</p> +<p>"Why, Pepeeta, we have forgotten the secret! Come and I will +show it to thee."</p> +<p>She took his proffered hand and was led into the depths of the +cavern.</p> +<p>"Thee must shut thy eyes," he said.</p> +<p>"Oh! but I am so frightened," she answered, pretending to +shudder and draw back.</p> +<p>"Thee need not be afraid. I will protect thee," he said, +reassuringly.</p> +<p>She obeyed him, and they moved forward.</p> +<p>"Are thy eyes shut tight? How many fingers do I hold up?" he +asked, raising his hand.</p> +<p>"Six," she answered.</p> +<p>"All right; there were only two," he said, convinced and +satisfied.</p> +<p>He led her along a dozen steps or so, and then halted.</p> +<p>"Turn this way," swinging her about; "do not open thy eyes till +I tell thee. There—now!"</p> +<p>For an instant the darkness seemed impenetrable; but there was +enough of a faint light, rather like pale belated moonbeams than +the brightness of the sun, to enable her to read her own name +carved upon the smooth wall of rock.</p> +<p>"Ah! little deceiver, when did you do this?" she asked, touched +by his gallantry.</p> +<p>"Do this! Why, Pepeeta, I did not do it," he answered, surprised +and taken back by her misunderstanding.</p> +<p>"You did not do it?" she asked, astonished in her turn. "Who did +it if you did not?"</p> +<p>"Why—can't thee guess?" he asked.</p> +<p>And then it slowly dawned upon her that it was the work of her +lover, done in those days when he wandered about the country +restless and tormented by his passion. His own dear hand had traced +those letters on the rock!</p> +<p>She kissed them, and burst into tears.</p> +<p>This was an indescribable shock to the child, who had +anticipated a result so different, and he sprang to her side, +embraced her in his young arms and cried:</p> +<p>"What is the matter, Pepeeta? I did not mean to make thee sad; I +meant to make thee happy! Oh, do not cry!"</p> +<p>"You have made me a thousand times glad, my dear boy," she said, +kissing him gratefully. "You could not in any other way in the +world give me such happiness as this. But did you not know that we +can cry because we are glad as well as because we are sad?"</p> +<p>"I have never heard of that," he answered wonderingly.</p> +<p>She did not reply, for her attention reverted to the letters on +the wall and she stood feeding her hungry eyes upon that +indubitable proof of the devotion of her lover.</p> +<p>The child's instinct taught him the sacredness of the privacy of +grief and love. He freed himself from her embrace, slipped out of +the cave and left her alone. She laid her cheek against the rude +letters, patted them with her hand, and kissed them again and +again. It was bliss to know that she had inspired this passion, +although it was agony to know that it was only a memory.</p> +<p>The remembrance of feasts once eaten is not only no solace to +physical hunger, but adds unmitigated torment to it. It is +different with the hunger of the heart, which finds a melancholy +alleviation in feeding upon those shadows which reality has left. +The food is bitter-sweet and the alleviation is not satisfaction, +but neither is it starvation! Probably a real interview with a +living, present lover, would not have given to Pepeeta that +intense, though poignant, happiness which transfigured her face +when she came forth into the daylight world, and which subdued and +softened the noisy welcome of the boy.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVI" id="CHAPTER_XXVI"></a>CHAPTER XXVI.</h2> +<h3>OUT OF THE SHADOW</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Until the day break and the shadows flee away."</p> +<p>—Song of Solomon.</p> +</div> +<p>In due time the vessel upon which David had embarked arrived at +her destination, the city of New York, and the lonely traveler +stepped forth unnoticed and unknown into the metropolis of the New +World.</p> +<p>With, an instinct common to all adventurers, he made his way to +the Bowery, that thoroughfare whose name and character dispute the +fame of the Corso, the Strand and the Rue de Rivoli.</p> +<p>Amid its perpetual excitements and boundless opportunities for +adventure, David resumed the habits formed during that period of +life upon which the doors had now closed. His reputation had +followed him, and the new scenes, the physical restoration during +the long voyage, the necessity of maintaining his fame, all +conspired to help him take a place in the front rank of the +devotees of the gambling rooms.</p> +<p>He did his best to enter into this new life with enthusiasm, but +it had no power to banish or even to allay his grief. He therefore +spent most of his time in wandering about among the wonders of the +swiftly-growing city, observing her busy streets, her crowded +wharfs, her libraries, museums and parks. This moving panorama +temporarily diverted his thoughts from that channel into which they +ever returned, and which they were constantly wearing deeper and +deeper, and so helped him to accomplish the one aim of his wretched +life, which was to become even for a single moment unconscious of +himself and of his misery.</p> +<p>He had long ceased to ponder the problems of existence, for his +philosophy of life had reached its goal at the point where he was +too tired and broken-hearted to think. He could hardly be said to +"live" any longer, and his existence was scarcely more than a +vegetation. Like a somnambulist, he received upon the pupils of his +eye impressions which did not awaken a response in his reason.</p> +<p>If any general conceptions at all were being formed he was +unconscious of them. What he really thought of the phenomena of +life upon which he thus blindly stared, he could not have +definitely told; but in some vague way he felt as he gazed at the +multitudes of human beings swarming through the streets, that all +were, like himself, the victims of some insane folly which had +precipitated them into some peculiar form of misery or crime.</p> +<p>And so, as he peered into their faces, he would catch himself +wondering what wrong this man had done, what sin that woman had +committed, and what sorrow each was suffering. That all must be in +some secret way guilty and miserable, he could not doubt, for it +seemed to him impossible that in this world of darkness and +disorder, any one should have been able to escape being deceived +and victimized. "No man," he thought, "can pick his way over all +these hot plowshares without stepping on some of them. None can run +this horrible gauntlet without being somewhere struck and wounded. +What has befallen me, has in some form or other befallen them all. +They are trying, just as I am, to conceal their sorrows and their +crimes from each other. There is nothing else to do. There is no +such thing as happiness. There is nothing but deception. Some of +the keener ones see through my mask as I see through theirs. And +yet some of them smile and look as gay as if they were really +happy. Perhaps I can throw off this weight that is crushing me, as +they have thrown off theirs—if I try a little harder." Such +were the reflections which revolved ceaselessly within his +brain.</p> +<p>But his efforts were in vain. In this life he had but a single +consolation, and that was in a friendship which from its nature did +not and could not become an intimacy.</p> +<p>Among the many acquaintances he had made in that realm of life +to which his vices and his crimes had consigned him, a single +person had awakened in his bosom emotions of interest and regard. +There was in that circle of silent, terrible, remorseless parasites +of society, a young man whose classical face, exquisite manners and +varied accomplishments set him apart from all the others. He moved +among them like a ghost,—mysterious, uncommunicative and +unapproachable.</p> +<p>He had inspired in his companions a sort of unacknowledged +respect, from the superiority of his professional code of ethics, +for he never preyed upon the innocent, the weak, or the helpless, +and gambled only with the rich or the crafty. He victimized the +victimizers, and signalized his triumph with a mocking smile in +which there was no trace of bitterness, but only a gentle and +humorous irony.</p> +<p>From the time of their first meeting he had treated David in an +exceptional manner. In unobserved ways he had done him little +kindnesses, and proffered many delicate advances of friendship, and +not many months passed before the two lonely, suspicious and +ostracized men united their fortunes in a sort of informal +partnership and were living in common apartments.</p> +<p>The most marked characteristic of this restricted friendship was +a disposition to respect the privacy of each other's lives and +thoughts. In all their intercourse through the year in which they +had been thus associated they had never obtruded their personal +affairs upon each other, nor pried into each other's secrets.</p> +<p>There was in Foster Mantel a sort of sardonic humor into which +he was always withdrawing himself. In one of their infrequent +conversations the two companions had grown unusually confidential +and found themselves drifting a little too near that most dangerous +of all shoals in the lives of such men—the past.</p> +<p>With a swift, instinctive movement both of them turned away. +Each read in the other's face consciousness of the impossibility of +discussing those experiences through which they had come to be what +they were. Such men guard the real history of their lives and the +real emotions of their hearts as jealously as the combinations of +their cards. The old, ironical smile lighted up Mantel's features, +and he said:</p> +<p>"We seem to have a violent antipathy to thin ice, Davy, and +skate away from it as soon as it begins to crack a little beneath +our feet."</p> +<p>"Yes," said his friend, shrugging his shoulders, "it is not +pleasant to fall through the crust of friendship. There is a +sub-element in every life a too sudden plunge into which might +result in a fatal chill. We had all better keep on the surface. I +am frank enough to say that the less any one knows about my past, +the better I shall be satisfied."</p> +<p>"I wish that I could keep my own self from invading that realm +as easily as I can keep others! Why is it that no man has ever yet +been able to 'let the dead past bury its dead'? It seems a +reasonable demand."</p> +<p>"He is a poor sexton—this old man, the Past. I have +watched him at his work, and he is powerless to dig his own grave, +however many others he may have excavated!"</p> +<p>"The Present seems as helpless as the Past. I wonder if the +future will heap enough new events over old ones to hide them from +view?"</p> +<p>"Let a shadow bury the sun! Let a wave bury the sea," answered +David bitterly.</p> +<p>"I am afraid you take life too seriously," said Mantel, on whose +face appeared that inexplicable smile behind which he constantly +retired. "For, after all, life is nothing but a jest—a grim +one, to be sure, but still a jest. The great host who entertains us +in the banqueting hall of the universe must have his fun as well as +any one, and we must laugh at his jokes even when they are at our +expense. This is the least that guests can do."</p> +<p>"What, even when they writhe with pain?"</p> +<p>"Why not? We all have our fun! You used to scare timid little +girls with jack-lanterns, put duck eggs under the old hen, and tie +tin cans to dogs' tails. Where did you learn these tricks, if not +from the great Trickmaster himself? Humor is hereditary! We get it +from a divine original, and the Archetypal Joker must have His fun. +It is better to take His horseplay in good part. We cannot stop +Him, and we may as well laugh at what amuses Him. There is just as +much fun in it as a fellow is able to see!"</p> +<p>"Then there is none, for I cannot see any. But if you get the +comfort you seem to out of this philosophy of yours, I envy you. +What do you call it? There ought to be a name for a metaphysic +which seems to comprehend all the complex phenomena of life in one +single, simple, principle of humor!"</p> +<p>"How would 'will-o'-the-wispism' do? There is a sort of elusive +element in life, you see. Nature has no goal, yet leads us along +the pathway by shows, enchantments and promises. She pays us in +checks which she never cashes. She holds out a glittering prize, +persuades us that it is worth any sacrifice, and when we make it, +the bubble bursts, the sword descends, and you hear a low +chuckle."</p> +<p>"You have described her method well enough, but how is it that +you get your fun out of your knowledge?"</p> +<p>"It is the illusion itself! The boy chasing the rainbow is +happier than the man counting his gold!"</p> +<p>"But what of that dreadful day of disenchantment when the +illusion no longer deceives?"</p> +<p>"Ha! ha! Why, just put on your mask and smile. You can 'make +believe' you are happy, can't you?"</p> +<p>"I have got beyond that," David answered savagely. "I am not +sitting for my picture to this great, grim artist friend of yours, +who first sticks a knife into me, and then tells me to look +pleasant that he may photograph me for his gallery of fools! I am +tired of shams and make-believes. Life is a hideous mockery, and I +say plainly that I loathe and abhor it!"</p> +<p>"Tush, tush, whatever else you do or do not do, keep sweet, +David! Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad! You take +yourself and your life too seriously, I tell you. Everything will +go its own way whether you want it to or not! I used to read the +classics, once, and some fragments of those old fellows' sublime +philosophy are still fresh in my memory. There is a scrap in one of +the Greek tragedies—the Oedipus, I think, that has always +kept running through my head:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"'Why should we fear, when +Chance rules everything,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And foresight of the future there +is none?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">'Tis best to live at random as we +can!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But thou, fear not that marriage +with thy mother!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Many, ere now, have dreamed of +things like this,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But who cares least about them, +bears life best!'</span></p> +<p>"There is wisdom for you! 'Who cares least about them bears life +best!' It's my philosophy in a nut-shell."</p> +<p>"Look here, Mantel," said David, "your philosophy may be all +right, provided a man has not done a—provided—provided +a man has not committed a-a crime! I don't care anything about your +past in detail; but unless you have done some deed that hangs +around your neck like a mill-stone, you don't know anything about +the subject you are discussing."</p> +<p>Mantel dropped his eyes, and sat in silence. For the first time +since David had known him, his fine face gave some genuine +revelation of the emotions of his soul. Great tears gathered in his +eyes, and his lips trembled. In a moment, he arose, took his hat, +laid his hand gently upon the arm of his friend, and said "David, +my dear fellow, we are skating on that thin ice again. We shall +fall through if we are not careful, and get that chill you were +talking about. Let's go out and take a walk. Life is too deep for +either you or me to fathom. I gave it up as a bad job long ago. +What you just said about having a knife stuck into you comes the +nearest to my own notion. I feel a good deal as I fancy a butterfly +must when he has been intercepted in a gay and joyous flight and +stuck against the wall with a sharp pin, among a million other +specimens which the great entomologist has gathered for some +purpose which no one but himself can understand. All I try to do is +to smile enough to cover up my contortions. Come, let us go. We +need the air."</p> +<p>They went down into the streets and lost themselves in the busy +crowd of care-encumbered men. Half unconscious of the throngs which +jostled them, they strolled along Broadway, occasionally pausing to +gaze into a shop window, to rest on a seat in a park, to listen to +a street musician, or to watch some passing incident in the great +panorama which is ever unrolling itself in that brilliant and +fascinating avenue.</p> +<p>Suddenly Mantel was startled by an abrupt change in the manner +of his companion, who paused and stood as if rooted to the +pavement, while his great blue eyes opened beyond their natural +width with a fixed stare.</p> +<p>Following the direction of their gaze, Mantel saw that they were +fixed on a blind beggar who sat on a stool at the edge of the +sidewalk, silent and motionless like an old snag on the bank of a +river—the perpetual stream of human life forever flowing by. +His head was bare; in his outstretched hand he held a tin cup which +jingled now and then as some compassionate traveler dropped him a +coin; by his side, looking up occasionally into his unresponsive +eyes, was a little terrier, his solitary companion and guide in a +world of perpetual night.</p> +<p>The face of the man was a remarkable one, judged by almost any +standard. It was large in size, strong in outline, and although he +was a beggar, it wore an expression of power, of independence and +resolution like that of another Belisarius. But the feature which +first arrested and longest held attention, was an enormous +mustache. It could not have been less than fourteen inches from tip +to tip, was carefully trimmed and trained, and although the man +himself was still comparatively young, was white as snow. +Occasionally he set his cup on his knee and with both hands twisted +the ends into heavy ropes.</p> +<p>It was a striking face and exacted from every observer more than +a passing look; but remarkable as it was, Mantel could not discover +any reason for the strained and terrible interest of his companion, +who stood staring so long and in such a noticeable way, that he was +in danger of himself attracting the attention of the curious +crowd.</p> +<p>Seeing this, Mantel took him by the arm. "What is the matter?" +he asked.</p> +<p>David started. "My God," he cried, drawing his hand over his +eyes like a man awakening from a dream; "it is he!"</p> +<p>"It is who? Are you mad! Come away! People are observing you. If +there is anything wrong, we must move or get into trouble."</p> +<p>"Let me alone!" David replied, shaking off his hand. "I would +rather die than lose sight of that man."</p> +<p>"Then come into this doorway where you can watch him unobserved, +for you are making a spectacle of yourself. Come, or I shall drag +you."</p> +<p>With his eyes still riveted on that strange countenance, David +yielded to the pressure of his friend's hand and they retired to a +hallway whence he could watch the beggar unobserved. His whole +frame was quivering with excitement and he kept murmuring to +himself: "It is he. It is he! I cannot be mistaken! Nature never +made his double! But how he has changed! How old and white he is! +It cannot be his ghost, can it? If it were night I might think so, +but it is broad daylight! This man is living flesh and blood and my +hand is not, after all, the hand of a mur—"</p> +<p>"Hush!" cried Mantel; "you are talking aloud!"</p> +<p>"Yes, I am talking aloud," he answered, "and I mean to talk +louder yet! I want you to hear that I am not a murderer, a +murderer! Do you understand? I am going to rush out into the +streets to cry out at the top of my voice—I am not a +murderer!"</p> +<p>Terrified at his violence, Mantel pushed him farther back into +the doorway; but he sprang out again as if his very life depended +upon the sight of the great white face.</p> +<p>"Be quiet!" Mantel cried, seizing his arm with an iron grip.</p> +<p>The pain restored him to his senses. "What did I say?" he asked +anxiously.</p> +<p>"You said, 'I am not a murderer,'" Mantel whispered.</p> +<p>"And it is true! I am not!" he replied, with but little less +violence than before.</p> +<p>"Look at this hand, Mantel! I have not looked at it myself for +more than three years without seeing spots of blood on it! And now +it looks as white as snow to me! See how firm I can hold it! And +yet through all those long and terrible years, it has trembled like +a leaf. Tell me, am I not right? Is it not white and firm?"</p> +<p>"Yes, yes. It is; but hush. You are in danger of being +overheard, and if you are not careful, in a moment more we shall be +in the hands of the police!"</p> +<p>"No matter if I am," he cried, almost beside himself, and +rapturously embracing his friend. "Nothing could give me more +pleasure than a trial for my crime, for my victim would be my +witness! He is not dead. He is out there in the street. Mantel, you +don't know what happiness is! You don't know how sweet it is to be +alive! A mountain has been taken from my shoulders. I no longer +have any secret! I will tell you the whole story of my life, +now."</p> +<p>"Not now; but later on, when we are alone. Let us leave this +spot and go to our rooms."</p> +<p>"No, no! Don't stir! We might lose him, and if we did, I could +never persuade myself that this was not a dream! We will stay here +until he leaves, and then we will follow him and prove beyond a +doubt that this is a real man and not the vision of an overheated +brain. We will follow him, I say, and if he is really flesh and +blood, and not a poor ghost, we will help him, you and I. Poor old +man! How sad he looks! And no wonder! You don't know of what I +robbed him!"</p> +<p>David had now grown more quiet, and they stood patiently waiting +for the time to come when the old beggar should leave his post and +retire to his home, if home he had.</p> +<p>At last he received his signal for departure. A shadow fell from +the roof of the tall building opposite, upon the pupil of an eye, +which perhaps felt the darkness it could not see. The building was +his dial. Like millions of his fellow creatures, he measured life +by advancing shadows.</p> +<p>He arose, and in his mien and movements there was a certain +majesty. Placing his hat upon his storm-beaten head, he folded the +camp-chair under his arm, took the leading string in his hand and +followed the little dog, who began picking his way with fine care +through the surging crowd.</p> +<p>Behind him at a little distance walked the two gamblers, +pursuing him like a double shadow. A bloodhound could not have been +more eager than David was. He trembled if an omnibus cut off his +view for a single instant, and shuddered if the beggar turned a +corner.</p> +<p>Unconscious of all this, the dog and his master wended their way +homeward. They crawled slowly and quietly across a street over +which thundered an endless procession of vehicles; they moved like +snails through the surf of the ocean of life. Arriving at length at +the door of a wretched tenement house, the blind man and his dog +entered.</p> +<p>As he noted the squalor of the place, David murmured to himself, +"Poor old man! How low he has fallen!"</p> +<p>Several minutes passed in silence, while he stood reflecting on +the doctor's misery, his own new happiness and the opportunities +and duties which the adventure had opened and imposed. At last he +said to his friend, "Do you know where we are? I was so absorbed +that I didn't notice our route at all."</p> +<p>"Yes," Mantel answered. "I have marked every turn of the +way."</p> +<p>"Could you find the place again?"</p> +<p>"Without the slightest difficulty."</p> +<p>"Be sure, for if you wish to help me, as I think you do, you +will have to come often. I have made my plans in the few moments in +which I have been standing here, and am determined to devote my +life, if need be, to this poor creature whom I have so wronged. I +must get him out of this filthy hole into some cheerful place. I +will atone for the past if I can! Atone! What a word that is! With +what stunning force its meaning dawns upon me! How many times I +have heard and uttered it without comprehension. But somehow I now +see in it a revelation of the sweetest possibility of life. Oh! I +am a changed man; I will make atonement! Come, let us go. I am +anxious to begin. But no, I must proceed with caution. How do I +know that this is his permanent home? He may be only lodging for +the night, and when you come to-morrow, he may be gone! Go in, +Mantel, and make sure that we shall find him here to-morrow. Go, +and while you find out all you can about him, I will begin to +search for such a place as I want to put him in. We will part for +the present; but when we meet to-night we shall have much to talk +about. I will tell you the whole of this long and bitter story. I +am so happy, Mantel. You can't understand! I have something to live +for now. I will work, oh, you do not know how I will work to make +this atonement. What a word it is! It is music to my ears. +Atonement!"</p> +<p>And so in the lexicon of human experience he had at last +discovered the meaning of one of the great words of our language. +After all, experience is the only exhaustive dictionary, and the +definitions it contains are the only ones which really burn +themselves into the mind or fully interpret the significances of +life.</p> +<p>To every man language is a kind of fossil poetry, until +experience makes those dry bones live! Words are mere faded +metaphors, pressed like dried flowers in old and musty volumes, +until a blow upon our heads, a pang in our hearts, a strain on our +nerves, the whisper of a maid, the voice of a little child, turns +them into living blossoms of odorous beauty.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVII" id="CHAPTER_XXVII"></a>CHAPTER +XXVII.</h2> +<h3>IF THINE ENEMY HUNGER</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in +his life when he has one too few; but if he has only one enemy, he +is lucky indeed if he has not one too many."</p> +<p>—Bulwer-Lytton.</p> +</div> +<p>The blow struck by David had stunned the doctor, but had not +killed him. He lay in the road until a slave, passing that way, +picked him up and carried him to a neighboring plantation, where he +fell into the hands of people who in the truest sense of the word +were good Samaritans. Their hospitality was tested to the utmost, +for he lay for weeks in a stupor, and when he recovered +consciousness his reason had undergone a strange eclipse. For a +long time he could not recall a single event in his history and +when at last some of the most prominent began to re-present +themselves to his view it was vaguely and slowly, as mountain-peaks +and hill-tops break through a morning mist. This was not the only +result of the blow which his rival had struck him; it had left him +totally blind. Nothing could have been more pitiful than the sight +of this once strong man, more helpless than an infant, sitting in +the sun where kind hands had placed him. Months elapsed before he +regained anything that could be called a clear conception of the +past. It did at length return, however. Slowly, but with terrible +distinctness he recalled the events which preceded and brought +about this tragedy. And as he reflected upon them, jealousy, hatred +and revenge boiled in his soul and finally crystallized into the +single desperate purpose to find and crush the man who had wrecked +his life.</p> +<p>He kept his story to himself; but made furtive inquiries of his +new-found friends and of the slaves and neighbors, none of which +enabled him to discover the slightest clue to the fugitives. So far +as he could learn, the earth might have opened and swallowed them, +and so when he had exhausted the sources of information in the +region where the accident occurred, he determined to go +elsewhere.</p> +<p>Refusing the kind offers of a permanent refuge in the home of +these hospitable Kentuckians, he made his way back to Cincinnati, +where he hoped not only to find traces of the fugitives, but to +recover the jewels which Pepeeta had left behind her on the table, +and which in his frantic haste he had forgotten to take with +him.</p> +<p>He learned the history of the jewels in a few short hours. Not +long after his own sudden disappearance and that of David and +Pepeeta, the judge had called at the hotel with an order for his +property. The unsuspecting landlord had honored it, and the judge +not long afterward left for parts unknown.</p> +<p>This discovery not only turned his rage to frenzy, but increased +his difficulties a hundred fold. Without friends and without money, +he set himself to attain revenge. Before a purpose so resolute, +many obstacles at once gave way, and although he could find no +traces of David and Pepeeta, he discovered that the judge had fled +to New York City, and thither he determined to go.</p> +<p>Procuring a little terrier, through the charity of strangers, he +trained him to be his guide, and started on his pilgrimage. Many +weeks were consumed in the journey and many more in hopeless +efforts to discover the thief. Through the aid of an old Cincinnati +friend whom he accidentally encountered he located the fugitive at +last; but in a cemetery! Ill-gotten wealth had precipitated the +final disaster, for having turned the diamonds into money the +fugitive entered upon a debauch which terminated in a horrible +death. At the side of a grave in the potter's field, the sexton one +day saw a blind man leaning on a cane. After a long silence, he +stooped down, felt carefully over the low ground as if to assure +himself of something, then rose, lifted his cane to heaven, waved +it wildly, muttered what sounded like imprecations, and soon after +followed a little terrier to the gate of the cemetery and +disappeared.</p> +<p>It was the doctor. One of his enemies had escaped him forever, +and the trail of the others seemed hopelessly lost in the darkness +which had settled down upon him. There was nothing left for him but +to beg his living and impotently nourish his hate.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXVIII" id="CHAPTER_XXVIII"></a>CHAPTER +XXVIII.</h2> +<h3>A MAN CROSSED WITH ADVERSITY</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"One sole desire, one passion +now remains</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To keep life's fever still within +his veins,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Vengeance! dire vengeance on the +wretch who cast</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">O'er him and all he loved that +ruinous blast."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Lalla Rookh.</span></p> +<p>It was late in the evening when David returned to his +apartments, excited, triumphant, eager.</p> +<p>"Well," he cried, rushing impetuously up to Mantel, who stood +waiting for him. "Is he still there? Is that place really his +home?"</p> +<p>"Yes," his friend answered; "he has lived there for more than a +year, in solitude and poverty. His health is very poor and he is +growing steadily weaker. He has declined so much recently that now +he does not venture out until the afternoon."</p> +<p>"Feeble, is he? Poor old man!" exclaimed David. "But at least he +is not dead, and while there is life there is hope! I am not a +murderer, and there is a possibility of my making atonement! How I +cling to that idea, Mantel! In a single hour I have enjoyed more +happiness than I thought a whole lifetime could contain. But even +in this indescribable happiness there is a strange element of +unrest, for it seems too good to last. Is all great gladness +haunted by this apprehension of evanescence? But at any rate, I am +happy now!"</p> +<p>"And I am almost happy in your happiness," responded his friend, +his face lighted up by an altogether new and beautiful smile.</p> +<p>"Sit down, then," said David, giving him a chair and standing +opposite to him, "and I will tell you my story."</p> +<p>Words cannot describe the emotion, nay the passion, with which +he poured that tragic narrative into the ears of his eager and +sympathetic listener.</p> +<p>Never was a story told to a more attentive and appreciative +auditor. There must have been some buried sorrow in that heart +which had rendered it sensitive to the griefs of others. Hours were +consumed by this narrative and by the questions which had to be +asked and answered, and it was long after midnight when David found +time to say, "And now shall I tell you my plans for the +future?"</p> +<p>"Yes, if you will," said Mantel.</p> +<p>"Well, I have rented a sunny room in a lodging house in a quiet +street, and to-morrow, if you are willing, you shall go and lead +him to it. I must lean upon you, Mantel; I dare not make myself +known to him. He would never accept my aid if he knew by whom it +was bestowed, for he is proud and revengeful and would give himself +no rest night or day until he had my life, if he knew I was within +reach. I do not fear him; but what good could come of his wreaking +vengeance on me, richly as I deserve it? It would only make his +destiny more dark and dreadful, and defeat the one chance I have of +making an atonement. You do not think I ought to make myself known, +do you?"</p> +<p>"I do not. I think with you that an atonement is the most +perfect satisfaction of justice."</p> +<p>"Thank you, thank you, my dear friend. You do not know how glad +I am to have you think I am doing right. You will go to him +to-morrow, then, and you will tell him that some one who has seen +him on the streets has taken compassion on him. You will do this, +will you not?"</p> +<p>"Nothing could give me greater pleasure. I half feel as if I had +participated with you in the wrong done to the old man, and that I +shall be blessed with you in trying to make it right."</p> +<p>"That is good in you, Mantel. How much nobility lies buried in +every human heart! It may be that even such men as you and I are +capable of some sort of rescue and redemption. I am going to spend +my best strength in working for this poor old blind beggar whom I +have wronged. I mean to toil for him like a galley slave, and mark +me, Mantel, it is going to be honest toil!"</p> +<p>"Honest, did you say?" asked Mantel, lifting his eyebrows +incredulously.</p> +<p>"Yes," David answered, "honest. This hope that has come to me +has wrought a great change in my heart. It has revived old feelings +which I thought long dead. If there is a God in heaven who has +decided to give me one more chance to set myself right, I am going +to take it! And listen; if this great hope can come to me, why not +to you?"</p> +<p>Mantel leaned his head on his hand a moment, and then answered +with a sigh, "Perhaps—but," and paused.</p> +<p>There are moments when these two indefinite words contain the +whole of our philosophy of existence. "I am going to seek the great +Perhaps!" said Rabelais, as he breathed his last.</p> +<p>David looked at him sympathetically and said, "Well, it is not +strange that you cannot feel as I do. It is not by what befalls +others, but by what befalls ourselves, that we learn to hope and +trust."</p> +<p>The silence that came between them was broken by Mantel, who +looked up at him with a trace of the old ironical smile on his +face.</p> +<p>"Your plans are all right as far as they go, but it seems to me +the hardest part of the tangle still remains to be unraveled."</p> +<p>"What do you mean?" asked David.</p> +<p>"What are you going to do about this beautiful Pepeeta?"</p> +<p>"Oh, I have settled that, too! You do not know how clearly I see +it all. It is as if a fog had lifted from the ocean, and the sailor +had found himself inside the harbor. I shall write and tell her +all."</p> +<p>"Do you mean that you will tell her that her husband is +alive?"</p> +<p>"I do."</p> +<p>"And perhaps you will advise her to return to him!"</p> +<p>"You are right, I shall."</p> +<p>Mantel shook his head.</p> +<p>"You do not think it best?" said David.</p> +<p>"I do not know."</p> +<p>"But there is nothing else to do."</p> +<p>"It is natural that I should see only the difficulties."</p> +<p>"What difficulties can there be?"</p> +<p>"Will you do anything more than destroy her by binding her once +more to the man she loathes?"</p> +<p>"You do not know Pepeeta."</p> +<p>"It is true, I only know human nature."</p> +<p>"But she is more than human!"</p> +<p>"And are you?"</p> +<p>"Not I!"</p> +<p>"Then how will you endure to see her once more the wife of your +enemy and rival?"</p> +<p>"Mantel," said David, pausing in his restless walk across the +room, "I do not wonder that you ask this. It was the first question +that I asked myself. It struck my heart like the blow of a hammer. +But I have settled it. I have weighed the pains which I have +suffered in a just and even balance. I know I cannot escape +suffering, whichever way I turn. I have felt the pains of doing +wrong, and I now deliberately choose the pains of doing right, let +them be what they will!"</p> +<p>"It is easy to scorn the bitterness of an untasted cup."</p> +<p>"No matter! I have settled it. It must be done."</p> +<p>Mantel shrugged his shoulders and said, "I am afraid that the +great Joker of whom we were talking yesterday is about to +perpetrate another of his jests."</p> +<p>"You think it absurd, then?"</p> +<p>"I regard it as impossible."</p> +<p>"But why?"</p> +<p>"Because you are making a plan to act as if you were a +disembodied conscience. You have forgotten that you still have the +passions of a man. I fear there will be another tragedy as dark as +the first. But if you are determined, I must obey you. I never know +how to act for myself; but if some one wishes me to act for him I +can do so without fear, even if I am compelled to do so without +hope."</p> +<p>David resumed his walk for a moment, and then pausing again +before his friend, said, "Mantel, a few years ago my soul was so +sensitive to truth and duty that I was accustomed to regard its +intuitions as the will of God revealed to me in some sort of +supernatural way. I acted on the impulses of my heart without the +slightest question or hesitation, and during that entire period of +my life I cannot remember that I was ever for a single time +seriously mistaken or misled. While I obeyed those intuitions and +followed that mysterious light, I was happy. When I turned my back +on that light it ceased to shine. It has been more than two years +since I have thought I heard the voice of God or felt any assurance +that I was in the path of duty. But now the departed vision has +returned! I have had as clear a perception of my duty as was ever +vouchsafed me in the old sweet days, and I shall obey it if it +costs me my life."</p> +<p>So deep was his earnestness that Mantel seemed to catch his +enthusiasm and be convinced. But in another instant the old mocking +smile had returned.</p> +<p>"Would you be so tractable and obedient if the old beggar were +in better health?" he said, opening and shutting the leaves of a +book which was lying on the table, and looking out from under +half-lifted eyelids.</p> +<p>At this insinuation David winced, and for a moment seemed about +to resent it. But he restrained himself and replied gently, "The +same distrust of my motives has arisen in my own mind. I more than +half suspect that if, as you say, the old beggar were young and +strong, my heart would fail me. But the knowledge that I could not +do my duty if the doctor were going to live cannot be any reason +for my not doing it when I believe that he is likely to die! I am +not called upon to do wrong simply because I see that I am not +wholly unselfish in doing right. I am not asked to face a +supposition, but a fact. I shall not pride myself on any +righteousness that I do not possess; but I must not be kept from +doing my duty because I am not a perfect man."</p> +<p>"You are right," said Mantel, but his assent seemed more like a +concession than a conviction. He had grown to regard the passing +panorama of life as a great spectacular exhibition. The actors +seemed swayed by powers external to themselves, their movements +exhibiting such gross inconsistencies as to make it impossible to +predict, and almost impossible to guess them. He looked on with +more curiosity than interest, as at the different combinations in a +kaleidoscope. He could not conceive that David, or any one, could +so come under the dominant influence of a conviction as to act +coherently and consistently upon it through any or all emergencies. +But he was kind and sympathetic, and his heart responded to the +passionate earnestness of his friend with a new interest and +pleasure.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXIX" id="CHAPTER_XXIX"></a>CHAPTER XXIX.</h2> +<h3>AS A TALE THAT IS TOLD</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"First our pleasures +die—and then</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Our hopes and then our +fears—and when</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">These are dead, the debt is +due</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Dust claims dust, and we die +too."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Shelley.</span></p> +<p>The next few weeks were passed by these two subdued and altered +friends in devoted efforts to make the blind man comfortable and +happy. True to his determination, David sought and found a place to +work, and after reserving enough of his wages to supply the few +necessities of his daily life, dedicated the rest to the purchase +of comforts for the poor invalid.</p> +<p>Mantel acted as his almoner, and by his delicate tact and gentle +manners persuaded the proud and revengeful old man to accept the +mysterious charity. The moment the strain of perpetual beggary was +taken from him, the physical ruin which the terrible blow of the +stone, the subsequent illness, and the ensuing poverty and +wretchedness had wrought, became manifest. He experienced a sudden +relapse, and began to sink into an ominous decline.</p> +<p>Even had he not known the secret of his sorrow, it would have +soon become plain to his acute and watchful nurse that some hidden +trouble was gnawing at his heart, for he was taciturn, abstracted +and sometimes morose. He manifested no curiosity as to the +benefactor upon whose charity he was living, but received the alms +bestowed by that unknown hand as children receive the gifts of +God—unsolicited, uncomprehended and unobserved.</p> +<p>His mind, aroused by the conversation of his untiring nurse to +the realities of the present existence, would sink back by a sort +of irresistible gravity into the realm of memory. There, in the +impenetrable privacy of his soul, he brooded over his wrongs and +counted his prospects of righting them, as a miser reckons his +coins.</p> +<p>The spasmodic workings of his countenance, the convulsive +gripping of his hands, the grinding of his great white teeth, the +scalding tears which sometimes fell from his sightless eyes, +revealed to the mind of his patient and watchful observer the +passions secretly and ceaselessly working in his soul.</p> +<p>Mantel became fascinated by the study of this subjective drama. +He used to sit and watch the expressive curtain behind which these +dark scenes were being enacted, and fancy that he could follow the +soul as, in the spirit world, it tracked its foe, fell upon him and +exacted its terrible revenge. At times he imagined that he could +actually see the enraged thoughts issue from the body as if it were +a den or cave, and they, living beasts of prey ranging abroad by +day and night, and returning with their booty to devour it; or, if +they had failed to take it, to brood over the failure of their +hunt.</p> +<p>In all this time he asked for nothing, he complained of nothing, +commented on nothing. Mantel would have concluded that his heart +was dead had it not been for his pathetic demonstrations of +affection for the little terrier who had so faithfully guided him +from his lodging to the places where he sat and begged.</p> +<p>The dog reciprocated these attentions with a devotion and a +gratitude which were human in their intensity and depth. It was as +beautiful as it was pathetic, to see these two friends bestowing +upon each other their few but expressive signs of love.</p> +<p>Not until many weeks had passed did Mantel succeed in really +engaging his patient in anything like a conversation, and even +after he had begun to thaw a little under those tactful +ministrations of love, whenever the past was even hinted at the old +recluse relapsed instantly into silence.</p> +<p>Mantel might have been discouraged had he not determined at all +hazards to enter into the secrets of this life, and to pave the way +for the forgiveness of his friend. He therefore persisted in his +efforts, and one bright day when the invalid was feeling unusually +strong ventured to press home his inquiries.</p> +<p>"I cannot help thinking," he said, "that you could soon be +reasonably well again if you did not brood so much. I fear there is +some trouble gnawing at your heart."</p> +<p>"There is," he was answered, icily.</p> +<p>"Have you wronged some one, then, and are these thoughts which +vex you feelings of remorse and guilt?"</p> +<p>"Wronged some one!" the sick man fairly roared, gripping the +arms of his chair and gasping for breath in the excitement which +the question brought on. "Not I! I have been wronged! No one has +ever b-b-been wronged as I have. I have nourished vipers in my +b-b-bosom and been stung by them. I have sown love and reaped hate. +I have been robbed, deceived and betrayed! My wife is gone! My +health is gone! My sight is gone! He has skinned me like a sheep, +c-c-curse him! My heart has turned to a hammer which knocks at my +ribs and cries revenge! It ch-ch-chokes me!"</p> +<p>He gasped, grew purple in the face and clutched at his collar as +if about to strangle. After a little the paroxysm passed away, and +Mantel determined once more to try and assuage this implacable +hatred.</p> +<p>To his own unbounded astonishment this young man who had long +ago abandoned his faith in Christianity, began to plead like an +apostle for the practice of its central and fundamental virtue.</p> +<p>"My friend," he said, with a new solemnity in his manner, "you +are on the threshold of another world; how dare you present +yourself to the Judge of all the earth with a passion like this in +your heart?"</p> +<p>In the momentary rest the beggar had recovered strength enough +to reply: "It is t-t-true. I am on the threshold of another world! +I didn't use to b-b-believe there was one, but I do now. There must +be! Would it b-b-be right for such d-d-devils as the one that +wrecked my life to g-g-go unpunished? Not if I know anything! They +get away from us here, but if eternity is as long as they s-s-say +it is, I'll find D-D-Dave Corson if it t-t-takes the whole of it, +and when I f-f-find him—" he paused again, gasping and +strangling.</p> +<p>Mantel's pity was deeply stirred, and he would gladly have +spared him had he dared; but he did not, and permitting him to +regain his breath, he said:</p> +<p>"And so you really mean to die without bestowing your pardon +upon those who have wronged you?"</p> +<p>"I swear it!"</p> +<p>"Have you ever heard the story of the crucifixion of Jesus +Christ?" asked Mantel, trembling at the name and at his own +temerity in pronouncing it.</p> +<p>It was a strange situation into which this young skeptic had +been forced by the logic of circumstances. As the old beggar felt +the ethical necessity of another life, the young gambler felt the +ethical necessity of the crucifixion. It seemed to him that if the +redemption of this hate-smitten man hung on the capacity of his own +heart to empty itself of its bitterness, there was about as much +hope as of a serpent expelling the poison from its fangs! He had +never before seen a man under the absolute and unresisted power of +one of the basal passions, and neither he nor any one else has ever +understood life until he has witnessed that fearful spectacle. A +summer breeze conveys no more idea of a tornado, nor a burning +chimney of a volcano, than ordinary vices convey of that fearful +ruin which any elemental passion works when permitted to devastate +a soul, unrestrained. The sight filled Mantel with terror, and he +felt himself compelled by some invincible necessity to plead with +the man in the name of the Saviour of the world. Long and earnestly +he besought him to forgive as Christ forgave; but all in vain! So +long had he brooded over his wrongs that his mind had either become +hopelessly impotent or else irretrievably hardened. The +conversation had so angered and exhausted the invalid that he +presently crawled over to his bed, threw himself upon it and sank +almost instantly into a deep sleep.</p> +<p>With a heavy heart, Mantel left him and hurried home to report +the interview to David. He found him just returning from his work, +and conveyed his message by the gloom of his countenance.</p> +<p>"Has anything, gone wrong?" David inquired, anxiously, as they +entered their room.</p> +<p>Casting himself heavily into a seat and answering abstractedly, +Mantel replied, "Each new day of life renders it more inexplicable. +A man no sooner forms a theory than he is compelled to abandon it. +I fear it is a labyrinth from which we shall none of us +escape."</p> +<p>"Do not speak in parables," David exclaimed, impatiently, "If +anything is the matter, tell me at once. Do not leave me in +suspense. I cannot endure it. Is he worse? Is he dying?"</p> +<p>"He is both, and more," Mantel answered, still unable to escape +from the gloom which enveloped him.</p> +<p>"More? What more? Speak out. I cannot bear these +indirections."</p> +<p>"I have at last drawn from him a brief but terrible allusion to +the tragedy of your lives."</p> +<p>"What did he say? Quick, tell me!"</p> +<p>"He said that he had been wronged by those whom he had +benefited."</p> +<p>"It is too true, God knows; but what else did he say?"</p> +<p>"That he would spend eternity in revenging his wrongs."</p> +<p>"Horrible!" cried David, sinking into a chair.</p> +<p>"Yes, more horrible than you know."</p> +<p>"Did he show no mercy? Was there no sign of pardon?"</p> +<p>"None! Granite is softer than his heart. Ice is warmer."</p> +<p>David rose and paced the floor. Pausing before Mantel, he said, +piteously, "Perhaps he will relent when Pepeeta comes!"</p> +<p>"Perhaps! Have you heard from her?"</p> +<p>"No, but her answer cannot be much longer delayed, for I have +written again and again."</p> +<p>"Something may have happened," said Mantel, who had lost all +heart and hope.</p> +<p>"Do not say it," David exclaimed, beseechingly.</p> +<p>"Well, but why does she not reply?"</p> +<p>"It is a long distance. She may have changed her residence. She +may never go to the postoffice. She may be sick."</p> +<p>"Or dead!" said Mantel, giving expression in two words to the +fullness of his despair.</p> +<p>"Impossible!" exclaimed David, his face blanching at this sudden +articulation of the dread he had been struggling so hard to +repress.</p> +<p>"You do not know her!" he continued. "If you had ever seen her, +you could not speak of death. She was not made to die. I beg you to +abandon this mood. You will drive me to despair. I cannot live +another moment without the hope that I shall be forgiven by this +old man whom I have so terribly wronged, and I know that he will +not forgive me unless I put back into his hands the treasure of +which I robbed him."</p> +<p>"Corson," said Mantel, rising and taking David by the hand, "you +must give up this dream of receiving the old man's pardon."</p> +<p>"I cannot!"</p> +<p>"You must! He will not grant it even if Pepeeta comes. The knife +has gone too deep! His heart is broken, and his mind, I think, is +deranged. And more than this, he will not live until Pepeeta comes +unless she hastens on the wings of the wind. He is dying, Corson, +dying. You cannot imagine how he has withered away since you saw +him. It is like watching a candle flicker in its socket. You must +abandon this hope, I say."</p> +<p>"And I say that it is impossible."</p> +<p>"But you must. What difference can it possibly make whether he +forgives you or not? The wrong is done. It cannot be undone."</p> +<p>"What difference? What difference, did you say? Is it possible +that you do not know? Do you think a man could endure this life, +hard enough at the best, if he were haunted by a dead man's +curse?"</p> +<p>"Thousands have had to do so—millions; but do not let us +talk about it any more. We are nervous and unstrung. You will never +be persuaded until you see for yourself. If you wish to make the +effort, you must do it soon; in fact you must do it now. I have +come to tell you that his physician says he will not live until +morning."</p> +<p>"Then let us go!" cried David, seizing his hat and starting for +the door, white to the lips and trembling violently.</p> +<p>They passed out into the night together and hurried away to the +beggar's room. Each was too burdened for talk and they walked in +silence. Arriving at the house, they ascended the stairs on tiptoe +and paused to listen at the door. "I will leave it ajar, so you may +hear what he says, and then you can judge if I am right," said +Mantel, entering quietly.</p> +<p>He approached the table and turned up the lamp which he had left +burning dimly. By its pale light David could see the great head +lying on the pillow, the chin elevated, the mouth partially open, +the breast heaving with the painful efforts to catch a few last +fluttering inspirations.</p> +<p>Nestling close to the ashen face and licking the cheek now and +then with his little red tongue, was the terrier.</p> +<p>Mantel's footfall, quiet as it was, disturbed the sleeper, who +moved, turned his head toward the sound and asked in a husky and +but half-audible voice, "Who is there?"</p> +<p>"It is I. How are you now? A little better?" said Mantel, laying +his soft, cool hand upon the broad forehead, wet already with the +death-damp.</p> +<p>"I am getting weaker. It won't—last—long," he +answered painfully.</p> +<p>"Do you think so?"</p> +<p>"I know it."</p> +<p>"Are you satisfied?"</p> +<p>"It can't—be—helped."</p> +<p>"No, it can't be helped. The doctor has told me you cannot live +through the night."</p> +<p>"The—sooner—the—better!"</p> +<p>"I do not want to bother you, but I cannot bear to have you die +without talking to you again about your future; I must try once +more to persuade you not to die without sending some kind word to +the people who have wronged you."</p> +<p>The expression of the white face underwent a hideous +transformation.</p> +<p>"If you do not feel like talking to me about a matter so sacred +and personal, would you not like to have me send for some minister +or priest?"</p> +<p>The head moved slowly back and forth in a firm negation.</p> +<p>"In every age, and among all men, it has seemed fitting that +those who were about to die should make some preparation to meet +their God. Have you no desire to do this?"</p> +<p>A fierce light shone upon the emaciated countenance and the thin +lips slowly articulated these words: +"I—myself—will—settle—with—God! +He—will—have—to—account—to—me—for—all—he—has—made—me—suffer!"</p> +<p>The listener at the door leaned against the wall for +support.</p> +<p>"Is there absolutely no word of pardon or of kindness which you +wish to send to those who have injured you, as a sort of legacy +from the grave?"</p> +<p>"None!" he whispered fiercely.</p> +<p>"Suppose that your enemy should come to see you. Suppose that a +great change had come over him; that he, too, had suffered deeply; +that your wife had discovered his treachery and left him; that he +had bitterly repented; that he had made such atonement as he could +for his sin; that it was he who has been caring for you in these +last hours, could you not pardon him?"</p> +<p>These words produced an extraordinary effect on the dying man. +For the first time he identified his enemy with his friend, and as +the discovery dawned upon his mind a convulsion seized and shook +his frame. He slowly and painfully struggled to a sitting posture, +lifted his right hand above his head and said in tones that rang +with the raucous power of by-gone days:</p> +<p>"Curse him! If I had known that I was eating his b-b-bread, it +would have choked me! Send him to me! Where is he?"</p> +<p>"I am here," said David, quietly entering the door. "I am here +to throw myself on your mercy and to beg you, for the love of God, +to forgive me."</p> +<p>As he heard the familiar voice, the beggar trembled. He made one +last supreme effort to look out of his darkened eyes. An expression +of despairing agony followed the attempt, and then, with both his +great bony hands, he clutched at the throat of his night robe as if +choking for breath, tore it open and reaching down into his bosom +felt for some concealed object. He found it at last, grasped it and +drew it forth. It was a shining blade of steel.</p> +<p>Mantel sprang to take it from his hand; but David pushed him +back and said calmly, "Let him alone."</p> +<p>"Yes, let me alone," cried the blind man, trembling in every +limb, and crawling slowly and painfully from the bed.</p> +<p>The movements of the dying man were too slow and weak to convey +any adequate expression of the tempest raging in his soul. It was +incredible that a tragedy was really being enacted, and that this +poor trembling creature was thirsting for the lifeblood of a mortal +foe.</p> +<p>David did not seek to escape. He did not even shudder. There was +a singular expression of repose on his features, for in his +desperation he solaced himself by the reflection that he was about +to render final satisfaction for a sin whose atonement had become +otherwise impossible. He therefore folded his arms across his +breast and stood waiting.</p> +<p>The contorted face of the furious beggar afforded a terrible +contrast to the tranquil countenance of the penitent and +unresisting object of his hatred. The opaque flesh seemed to have +become transparent, and through it glowed the baleful light of +hatred and revenge. The lips were drawn back from the white teeth, +above which the great mustache bristled savagely. The lids were +lifted from the hollow and expressionless eyes. Balancing himself +for an instant he moved forward; but the emaciated limbs tottered +under the weight of the body. He reeled, caught himself, then +reeled once more, and lunged forward in the direction from which he +had heard the voice of his enemy.</p> +<p>Again Mantel strove to intercept him, and again David forced him +back.</p> +<p>Uncertain as to the exact location of the object of his hatred, +he raised his knife and struck at random; but the blow spent itself +in air.</p> +<p>The futility and helplessness of his efforts crazed him.</p> +<p>"Where are you? G-g-give me some sign!" he cried.</p> +<p>"I am here," said David in a voice whose preternatural calmness +sent a shudder to the heart of his friend.</p> +<p>With one supreme and final effort, the dying man lurched forward +and threw himself wildly toward the sound. His hand, brandishing +the dagger, was uplifted and seemed about to descend on his foe; +but at that very instant, with a frightful imprecation upon his +lips, the gigantic form collapsed, the knife dropped from the hand, +and he plunged, a corpse, into the arms of his intended victim.</p> +<p>David received the dead weight upon the bosom at which the +dagger had been aimed, and the first expression of his face +indicated a certain disappointment that a single blow had not been +permitted to end his troubles, as well as terror at an event so +appalling. He stood spellbound for a moment, supporting the awful +burden, and then, overpowered with the horror of the situation, +cried out,</p> +<p>"Take him, Mantel! take him! Help me to lay him down! Quick, I +cannot stand it; quick!"</p> +<p>They laid the lifeless form on the bed, while the little dog, +leaping up beside his dead master, threw his head back and emitted +a series of prolonged and melancholy howls.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXX" id="CHAPTER_XXX"></a>CHAPTER XXX.</h2> +<h3>OUT OF THE JAWS OF DEATH</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Men deal with life as +children with their play,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Who first misuse, then cast their +toys away."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Cowper.</span></p> +<p>Bewildered by the scene through which he had just passed, Corson +returned to his rooms and spent the night in a sort of stupor. What +happened the next day he never knew; but on the following morning +he accompanied Mantel to the cemetery where, with simple but +reverent ceremony, they committed the body of the doctor to the +bosom of earth.</p> +<p>Just as they were about to turn away, after the conclusion of +the burial service, a strange thing happened. The limb of a great +elm tree, which had been tied back to keep it out of the way of the +workmen, was released by the old sexton and swept back over the +grave.</p> +<p>It produced a similar impression upon the minds of both the +subdued spectators. They glanced at each other, and Mantel said, +"It was like the wing of an angel!"</p> +<p>"Yes," added David with a sigh, "and seemed to brush away and +obliterate all traces of his sorrow and his sins."</p> +<p>They did not speak during their homeward journey, and when they +reached their rooms David paced uneasily backward and forward until +the shadows of evening had fallen. When he suddenly observed that +it was dusk, he took his hat and went out into the streets. There +was something so restless and unnatural about his movements as to +excite the suspicion of his friend, who waited for a single moment +and then hurried after him.</p> +<p>The night was calm and clear, the autumn stars were shining in a +cloudless sky, and the tide of life which had surged through the +busy streets all day was ebbing like the waters from the bays and +estuaries along the shore of the ocean.</p> +<p>The sounds the people made in tramping over the stone pavements +or hurriedly driving over the hard streets, possessed a strangely +different quality from the monotonous and grinding roar of the +daylight. They were sharp, clear, resonant and emphatic. A single +footfall attracted the attention of a listener more than the +previous shuffle of a thousand feet. David's,—soft and +subdued as it was,—resounded loudly, echoing from the +buildings on either side of him as he slowly paced along.</p> +<p>It was evident to every one who met him that he was moving +aimlessly. Now and then some keen-eyed pedestrian stopped to take a +second look and, turning to do so, felt an instinctive pity for +this burdened, care-encumbered man, wending his way through the +almost deserted streets.</p> +<p>This gaze was unreturned and this sympathy unperceived. He was +in one of those fits of abstraction when the whole external +universe with all its beauties and sublimities has ceased to exist. +His cup of misery was full, he had lost all clue to the meaning of +life and a single definite idea had taken complete possession of +his mind. It was that he was doomed to pass his existence under a +curse.</p> +<p>By the very nature of its being, the soul is keenly sensitive to +blessings and curses, and it is not alone the benediction of the +mitred priest that thrills the heart! That of the pauper upon whom +we have bestowed alms sometimes awakens in our bosom a hope and +gladness out of all proportion to the insignificant source from +which it has proceeded. Nor do we need to be cursed by the great +and the powerful to feel a pang of terror in our souls! Let but +some helpless wretch whom we have wronged commit his cause to +heaven in a single syllable, and we shudder as if we already heard +the approach of those avenging feet which the ancients said were +shod with wool. The curse of the dead and impotent beggar rang in +the ears of the fugitive like the strokes of an alarm bell. That +deep sense of justice which had been formed in his early life had +been revivified and endowed with a resistless power.</p> +<p>At such moments as these through which he was passing man +experiences no doubt as to the nature and origin of conscience. He +is as sure that the terror aroused in his heart is the echo of the +decision of some real and awful tribunal as that the wave upon the +shore is produced by some real though invisible storm at sea, or +the shadow on the mountain by some palpable object between it and +the sun.</p> +<p>The conscience is not only "a secretion in the brain," it is not +only the "accumulated observations of the universal man upon the +phenomena of the moral life," it is not only his study of the laws +of cause and effect distilled into maxims and forebodings; it is +this, but it is more than this—as every total is more than +any of its parts. For every man has something which is in him, but +not of him. It resides within his intelligence, but it is not so +much the offspring of his intelligence as an emissary that has +taken up its residence there! This obscure something is stronger +than he. He does not subordinate it to himself, but is subordinated +by it. He can rebel against it, but he cannot overthrow it. He can +fly from it, but he cannot escape it.</p> +<p>This sublime and mysterious power had at last obtained complete +ascendency in the soul of David Corson. He no longer argued and he +no longer resisted. He saw no way of escape from the spiritual +anaconda which was tightening its folds around him.</p> +<p>This was all the more strange because the way to the +satisfaction of the irrepressible hunger of his heart was now open. +Pepeeta's husband was dead, and although he was not innocent of a +great crime, he was at least not a murderer. Pepeeta still loved +him, if she were still alive. Of this he had no more doubt than of +his love for her. Why then did he thus give up to despair? Why did +he not fly to her arms and claim from life that happiness which had +hitherto escaped his grasp?</p> +<p>He did not try to solve these problems, nor to comprehend his +own despair. He only knew that he had been baffled at every turn of +his life by powers with which he was unable to cope, and that he +was tired of the struggle. He would give himself up to the mighty +stream of events and be borne along. If he was exercising any +volition in the choice of the path he was following, he was doing +it unconsciously. That path was leading him direct to the harbor. +It was a pathway well-worn by tired feet like his own.</p> +<p>The miserable creatures who had preceded him seemed to have +formed a sort of wake by which he was being drawn along to that +"wandering grave" in the deep sea. At last he reached the water's +edge, and started as he heard the waves splashing among the wooden +piles. The soft, sibilant sounds seemed like kisses on the lips of +the victims of their treacherous caresses.</p> +<p>The deed of which they whispered seemed but the logical +conclusion of his entire career. He put his foot upon the edge of +the wharf and looked down into the dark abyss.</p> +<p>It was at this critical instant that his faithful friend +extended his hand to save him; but at the same instant another and +mightier hand was also extended from the sky.</p> +<p>From a remote part of the Battery a sound cut the silent air. It +was a human voice, masculine, powerful, tender and pleading, lifted +in a sacred song. That sound was the first element of the objective +world which had penetrated the consciousness of the tortured and +desperate would-be suicide.</p> +<p>He turned and listened—and as he did so, Mantel sprang +back among the shadows just in time to escape his observation. The +full-throated music, floating on the motionless air, fell upon his +ear like a benediction. He listened, and caught the words of a hymn +with which he had been familiar in his childhood:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Light of those whose dreary +dwelling</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Borders on the shades of +death!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Rise on us, thy love +revealing,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Dissipate the clouds +beneath.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Thou of heaven and earth +creator—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">In our deepest darkness +rise,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Scattering all the night of +nature,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Pouring day upon our +eyes."</span></p> +<p>By the spell of this mysterious music he was drawn back into the +living world—drawn as if by some powerful magnet.</p> +<p>Pain and sorrow had become tired of vexing him at last, and now +stretched forth their hands in a ministry of consolation. With his +eyes fixed on the spot from which the music issued, he moved +unconsciously toward it, Mantel following him.</p> +<p>A few moments' walking brought him to a weird spectacle. A torch +had been erected above a low platform on which stood a man of most +unique and striking personality. He looked like a giant in the +wavering light of the torch. He was dressed in the simple garb of a +Quaker; his head was bare; great locks of reddish hair curled round +his temples and fell down upon his shoulders. His massive +countenance bespoke an extraordinary mind, and beamed with rest and +peace.</p> +<p>As he sang the old familiar hymn, he looked around upon his +audience with an expression such as glowed, no doubt, from the +countenance of the Christ when He spoke to the multitudes on the +shores of Lake Genessaret.</p> +<p>Close to the small platform was a circle of street Arabs, awed +into silence and respect by the charm of this remarkable +personality. Next to them came a ring of women—some of them +old and gray, with haggard and wrinkled countenances upon which +Time, with his antique pen, had traced many illegible hieroglyphs; +some of them young and bedizened with tinsel jewelry and flashy +clothing; not a few of them middle-aged, wan, dispirited and +bearing upon their hips bundles wrapped in faded shawls, from which +came occasionally that most distressing of sounds, the wail of an +ill-fed and unloved infant, crying in the night.</p> +<p>Outside of this zone of female misery and degradation, there was +a belt of masculine stupidity and crime; men with corpulent bodies, +bull necks, double chins, pile-driving heads; men of shrunken +frames, cadaverous cheeks, deep-set and beady +eyes—vermin-covered, disease-devoured, hope-deserted. They +clung around him, these concentric circles of humanity, like rings +around a luminous planet, held by they knew not what resistless +attraction.</p> +<p>The simple melody, borne upon the pinions of that resonant and +cello-like voice, attained an almost supernatural influence over +their perverted natures. When it ceased, an audible sigh arose, an +involuntary tribute of adoration and of awe.</p> +<p>As soon as he had finished his hymn, this consecrated apostle to +the lost sheep of the great city opened a well-worn volume.</p> +<p>The passage which he read, or rather chanted, was the +fifty-third chapter of Isaiah, the awe-inspiring sentences sending +through the circles of humanity which were tightening about him +visible vibrations.</p> +<p>When he finished his reading, he began an address full of homely +wit and pathos, in which, with all the rich and striking imagery +culled from a varied life in the wildernesses of the great forests +and the great cities of our continent, he appealed to that +consciousness of "the true, the beautiful and the good" which he +believed to lie dormant, but capable of resurrection, in the soul +of every man.</p> +<p>A few of his auditors were too far gone with fatigue or +intoxication to follow him, and elbowing their way through the +crowd shot off into the night upon their various tangents of +stupidity or crime; but most of the spectators listened with a sort +of rapt and involuntary attention.</p> +<p>The influence which he exerted over the mind of the young man +whom he had unconsciously saved from suicide was as irresistible as +it was inscrutable. His language had the charm of perfect +familiarity. Every word and phrase had fallen from his own lips a +hundred times in similar exhortations. In fact, they seemed to him +strangely like the echo of his own voice coming back upon him from +the dim and half-forgotten past.</p> +<p>His interest and excitement culminated in an incident for which +the listener was totally unprepared. The speaker who had been +exhorting his audience upon the testimony of prophet and apostle +now appealed to his own personal experience.</p> +<p>"Look at me!" he said, laying his great hand on his broad chest. +"I was once as hardened and desperate a man as any of you; but God +saved me! See this book!" he added, holding up the old volume. "I +will tell you a story about it. I found it in a log cabin away out +in the frontier state of Ohio. Listen, and I will tell you how. I +had left a lumber camp with a company of frontiersmen one Sunday +morning, to go to a new clearing which 'we were making in the +wilderness, when I suddenly discovered that I had forgotten my axe. +Swearing at my misfortune, I returned to get it. As I approached +the cabin which I had left a few minutes before, I heard a human +voice. I paused in surprise, crept quietly to the door and +listened. Some one was talking in almost the very language in which +I have spoken to you. I was frightened and fled! Escaping into the +depths of the forest, I lay down at the root of a great tree, and +for the first time in my life I made a silence in my soul and +listened to the voice of God. I know not how long I lay there; but +at last when I recovered my consciousness I returned to the cabin. +It was silent and empty; but on the floor I found this book."</p> +<p>"Good God!" exclaimed a voice.</p> +<p>So rapt had been the attention of the hearers that at this +unexpected interruption the women screamed and the men made a wide +path for the figure that burst through them and rushed toward the +platform.</p> +<p>The speaker paused and fixed his eye upon the man who pressed +eagerly toward him.</p> +<p>"Tell me whether a red line is drawn down the edge of that +chapter, and a hand is pointing toward the fifth and sixth verses!" +he cried.</p> +<p>"It is," replied the lumberman.</p> +<p>"Then let me take it!" exclaimed David, reaching out his +trembling hands.</p> +<p>"What for?"</p> +<p>"Because it is mine! I am the man who proclaimed the holy faith, +and, God forgive me, abandoned it even as you received it!"</p> +<p>The astonished lumberman handed him the Bible, and he covered it +with kisses and tears. In the meantime, the crowd, excited by the +spectacular elements of the drama, surged round the actors, and the +preacher, reaching down, took David by the arm and raised him to +the platform.</p> +<p>"Be quiet, my friends," he said with a gesture of command, "and +when this prodigal has regained his composure we will ask him to +tell us his story."</p> +<p>Of what was transpiring around him, David seemed to be entirely +unconscious and at last the fickle crowd became impatient.</p> +<p>"What's de matter wid you?" said a sarcastic voice.</p> +<p>"Speak out! Don't snuffle," exclaimed another.</p> +<p>"Tip us your tale," cried a fourth.</p> +<p>"Go on. Go on. We're waiting," called many more.</p> +<p>These impatient cries at last aroused David from his waking +dream, he drew his hand over his eyes, and began his story.</p> +<p>For a time the strange narrative produced a profound impression. +Heads drooped as if in meditation upon the mystery and meaning of +life; significant glances were exchanged; tears trembled in many +eyes; these torpid natures received a shock which for a moment +awakened them to a new life.</p> +<p>But it was only for a moment. They were incapable of the +sustained effort of thought, of ambition, or of will. Impressions +made upon their souls were like those made on the soft folds of a +garment by the passing touch of a hand.</p> +<p>To their besotted perceptions this scene was like a play in a +Bowery theater, and now that the dramatic denouement had come, they +lost their interest and sauntered away singly or in little groups. +In a few moments there were only three figures left in the light of +the flaming torch, They were those of the lumberman, David, and +Mantel, who now drew near, took his friend by the hand and pressed +it with a gentle sympathy.</p> +<p>"Where did you come from?" asked David in surprise, as he for +the first time recognized his companion.</p> +<p>"I have followed you all the evening," Mantel replied.</p> +<p>"Then you have heard the story of this book?"</p> +<p>"I have, and I could not have believed it without hearing."</p> +<p>"Can you spare us a little of your time?" said David, turning to +the lumberman.</p> +<p>"I owe you all the time you wish and all the service I can +render," he replied.</p> +<p>"You have more than paid your debt by what you have done for me +to-night, but who are you?"</p> +<p>"I am only another voice crying in the wilderness."</p> +<p>"Is this your only business in life—to speak to the +outcast and the wretched as you did to-night?"</p> +<p>"This is all."</p> +<p>David looked his admiration.</p> +<p>"How do you support yourself?" asked Mantel, to whom such a man +was a phenomenon.</p> +<p>"We do not any of us support ourselves so much as we are +supported," he replied.</p> +<p>"And this life of toil and self-denial had its origin in those +words I spoke in the empty lumber camp?" asked David, +incredulously.</p> +<p>"It is not a life of self-denial, but that was its +beginning."</p> +<p>"It is a mystery. I lost my faith and you found it, and now +perhaps you are going to give it back again!" David said.</p> +<p>The lumberman turned his searching eyes kindly on Mantel's face +and said, "And how is it with thee, my friend; hast thou the peace +of God?"</p> +<p>The directness of the question startled the gambler. "I have, no +peace of any kind; my heart is full of storms and my life is a +ruin," he answered sadly.</p> +<p>"Did thee never notice," said the lumberman gently, "how nature +loves to reclaim a ruin?"</p> +<p>"In what way?"</p> +<p>"By covering it with vines and moss."</p> +<p>The unexpected nature of this answer and the implied +encouragement produced a deep impression on the mind of the +gambler, but he answered:</p> +<p>"I shall never be reclaimed. I have gone too far. I have often +tried to find the true way of life, and prayed for a single glimpse +of light! Have you ever heard how Zeyd used to spend hours leaning +against the wall of the Kaaba and praying, 'Lord, if I knew in what +manner thou wouldst have me adore thee, I would obey thee; but I do +not! Oh! give me light!' I have prayed that prayer with all that +agony, but, to me, the universe is dark as hell!"</p> +<p>"There is light enough! It is eyes we need!" said the +evangelist.</p> +<p>"Light! Who has it? Many think they have, but it is mere fancy. +They mistake the shining of rotten wood for fire!"</p> +<p>"And sometimes men have walked in the light without seeing it, +as fish swimming in the sea and birds flying in the air, might say, +'Where is the sea?' 'Where is the air?'"</p> +<p>"But what comfort is it, if there is light, and I cannot see it? +There might as well be no light at all!"</p> +<p>"The bird never knows it has wings until it tries them! We see, +not by looking for our eyes, but by looking out of them. We say of +a little child that it has to 'find its legs.' Some men have to +find their eyes."</p> +<p>"It is an art, then, to see?"</p> +<p>"I would even call it a trick, if I dared."</p> +<p>"Can you impart that capacity and teach that art?"</p> +<p>"No, it must be acquired by each man for himself. We can only +tell others 'we see.'"</p> +<p>"I only know that I wish I could see!"</p> +<p>"We see by faith."</p> +<p>"And what is faith?"</p> +<p>"It is a power of the soul as much higher than reason as reason +is higher than sense."</p> +<p>"Some men may possess such power, but I do not."</p> +<p>"You at least have an imagination."</p> +<p>"Yes."</p> +<p>"Well, faith is but the imagination spiritualized."</p> +<p>Mantel regarded the man who spoke in these terse and pregnant +sentences with astonishment. "This," said he, "is not the same +language in which you addressed the people in the Battery. This is +the language of a philosopher! Do all lumbermen in the west speak +thus?"</p> +<p>The evangelist began to reply, but was interrupted by David, who +now burst out in a sudden exclamation of joy and gratitude. He had +been too busy with reflections and memories to participate actively +in the conversation, for this startling incident had disclosed to +him the whole slow and hidden movement of the providence of his +life towards this climax and opportunity. He was profoundly moved +by a clear conviction that a divine hand must have planned and +superintended this whole web of events, and had intentionally led +him from contemplating the tragic issue of his sinful deeds and +desires, to this vision of the good he had done in the better +moments of his life. This strange coincidence, to a mind like his, +could leave no room for doubt that the hand of God was on him, and +that, after all, he had been neither abandoned nor forgotten. The +lumberman had been sent at this critical moment to save him! There +was still hope!</p> +<p>With that instantaneous movement in which his disordered +conceptions of life invariably re-formed themselves, the chaotic +events of the past shifted themselves into a purposeful and +comprehensible series, and revealed beyond peradventure the hand of +God.</p> +<p>And as this conclusion burst upon him, he broke into the +conversation of Mantel and the lumberman with the warmest +exclamations of gratitude and happiness.</p> +<p>They talked a long time in the quiet night, asking and answering +questions. The two friends besought the evangelist to accompany +them to their rooms, but he said:</p> +<p>"I have given you my message and must pass on. My work is to +bear testimony. I sow the seed and leave its cultivation and the +harvest to others."</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXI" id="CHAPTER_XXXI"></a>CHAPTER XXXI.</h2> +<h3>THE GREAT REFUSAL</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"But when the young man heard that saying, he went away +sorrowful."</p> +</div> +<p>Too busy with their own thoughts to talk on the way home, on +entering their rooms Mantel threw himself into a chair, while David +nervously began to gather his clothes together and crowd them +hastily into a satchel.</p> +<p>"What's up?" asked Mantel.</p> +<p>"I'm off in the morning."</p> +<p>"Which way are you going?"</p> +<p>"There is only one way. I am going to find Pepeeta."</p> +<p>"Do you really expect to succeed?"</p> +<p>"Expect to! I am determined!"</p> +<p>"It's a sudden move."</p> +<p>"Sudden! everything is sudden. Events have simply crashed upon +me lately! When I think of the fluctuations of hope and despair, of +certainty and uncertainty through which I have gone in the past few +hours, I am stupefied."</p> +<p>"And I never go through any! My life is like a dead and stagnant +sea—nothing agitates it. If I could once be upheaved from the +bottom or churned into a foam from the top, I think I might amount +to something."</p> +<p>"You ought to quit this business, Mantel, and come with me. I am +going to find Pepeeta, take her back to that quiet valley where I +lived, and get myself readjusted to life. I need time for +reflection, and so do you. What do you say? Will you join me? I +cannot bear to leave you? You have been a friend, and I love +you!"</p> +<p>"Thanks, Corson, thanks. You have come nearer to stirring this +dead heart of mine than any one since—well, no matter. I +reciprocate your feeling. I shall have a hard time of it after you +have gone."</p> +<p>"Then join me."</p> +<p>"It is impossible."</p> +<p>"But why? This life will destroy you sooner or later."</p> +<p>"Oh—that's been done already."</p> +<p>"No, it hasn't. There are more noble things in you than you +realize. What you need is to give them scope and let them out."</p> +<p>"You don't know me. What you see is all on the surface. If I +ever had any power of decision or action it has gone. I am the +victim, and not the master of my destiny. I am drifting along like +a derelict, with no compass to guide, rudder to steer or anchor to +grip the bottom."</p> +<p>"Make another effort, old man, do! Look at me. I was in as bad a +fix as you are only a little while ago."</p> +<p>"Yes; but see what has happened to you! Circumstances have +tumbled you out of the nest, and of course you had to fly. I wish +something would happen to me! I would almost be glad to have +lightning strike me."</p> +<p>"What you say is true in a way, of course. I know I don't +deserve any credit for breaking out of this life. But don't you +think a man can do it alone, without any such frightful +catastrophes to help him? It seems to me, now, that I could. I feel +as if I could burst through stone walls."</p> +<p>"Of course you do, my dear fellow, and you can. But something +has put strength into you! That's what I need."</p> +<p>"Well, let me put it into you! Lean on me. I can't bear to leave +you here and see you go down! Come, brace up. Make an effort. +Decide. Tear yourself away!"</p> +<p>"You actually make my heart flutter, Davy; I feel as if I would +really like to do it. But I can't. It's no use. I shouldn't get +across the ferry before I'd begin to hang back."</p> +<p>"But you don't belong to this life. You are above it, naturally. +You ought to be a force for good in the world. Society needs such +men as you are, and needs them badly. Come! If I can break these +meshes you can."</p> +<p>"No, my dear fellow, that's a non-sequitur. There is different +blood flowing in our veins, and we have had a different environment +and education. As far back as I know anything about them, my people +have all lived on the surface of life, and I have floated along +with them. But, by heavens—I have at least seen down into the +depths!"</p> +<p>"Well, I have my inheritance of bad blood also. I had a father +who was not only weak but wicked."</p> +<p>"Yes, but think of your mother."</p> +<p>"Mantel, you are carrying this too far. A man is something more +than the mere chemical product of his ancestor's blood and brains! +Every one has a new and original endowment of his own. He must live +and act for himself."</p> +<p>"Maybe so, but everything seems, at least, to be a fixed and +inevitable consequence of what has gone before. I don't want to +disparage this last act of yours, but see how far back its roots +reach into the past. See what a chain of events led up to it, and +what frightful causes have been operating to bring you up to the +sticking point! How long ago was it that you were just as ready to +throw up the game?"</p> +<p>"Horrible! Don't speak of it! It makes me tremble. I am not +worthy to defend or even advocate a life of endeavor and victory, +Mantel, and I will not try; but I know that I am right."</p> +<p>"Yes, Dave, you are right; I know it as well as you. I am only +talking to ease my conscience. I know I ought to snap these cords, +and I know I can. But I also know that I am grinding here in this +devil's mill while every bad man makes sport and every good man +weeps! And I know that I shall keep on grinding while you and +thousands of other noble fellows with less brains, perhaps, and +fewer chances than mine, make wild dashes for liberty and do men's +work in the world. But here I am, cold and dead, and here I +remain."</p> +<p>"Can nothing persuade you—not love? I love you, Mantel! +Come, let us go together. Who knows what we can do if we try? I +must persuade you!"</p> +<p>"I am like a ship in a sea of glue. You touch me, but you don't +persuade me! It's no use. I cannot budge. The aspirations you +awaken in my soul leap up above the surface like little fishes from +a pond, and as quickly fall back again! No, I cannot go. Don't +press me—it makes me feel like the young man in the gospel, +who made what Dante calls 'the great refusal;' he saw that young +man's 'shade' in hell."</p> +<p>They were sitting on the sill of a deep window in what had once +been one of the most fashionable mansions of the city. The sash was +raised, and the light of the moon fell full upon their young faces. +They ceased speaking after Mantel had uttered those solemn words, +and looked out over the housetops to the water of the great river. +It was long after midnight, and not a sound broke the stillness. +Fleecy clouds were drifting across the sky, and a vessel under full +sail was going silently down the river toward the open sea. They +had involuntarily clasped each other's hands, and as their hearts +opened and disclosed their secrets they were drawn closer and +closer together until their arms stole about each other's necks. +For a few brief moments they were boys again. The vices that had +hardened their hearts and shut their souls up in lonely isolation +relaxed their hold. That sympathy which knit the hearts of David +and Johnathan together made their's beat as one.</p> +<p>David broke the silence. "I cannot bear to leave you, Mantel. +Join me. Such feelings as these which stir us so deeply to-night do +not come too often. It must be dangerous to resist them. I suppose +there are slight protests and aspirations in the soul all the time, +but these to-night are like the flood of the tide."</p> +<p>"Yes," said Mantel; "the Nile flows through Egypt every day, but +flows over it only once a year."</p> +<p>"And this is the time to sow the seed, isn't it?"</p> +<p>"So they say. But you must remember that you feel this more +deeply than I do, Davy. I am moved. I have a desire to do better, +but it isn't large enough. It is like a six-inch stream trying to +turn a seven-foot wheel.</p> +<p>"Don't make light of it, Mantel!"</p> +<p>"I don't mean to, but you must not overestimate the impressions +made on me. I am not so good as you think."</p> +<p>"I wish you had the courage to be as good as you are."</p> +<p>"But there is no use trying to be what I am not. If I should +start off with you, I should never be able to follow you. My old +self would get the victory. In the long run, a man will be himself. +'Nature is often hidden, sometimes overcome—seldom +extinguished.'"</p> +<p>"What a mood you are in, Mantel! It makes me shiver to hear you +talk so. Here I am, full of hope and purpose; my heart on fire; +believing in life; confident of the outcome; and you, a better man +by nature than I am, sitting here, cold as a block of ice, and the +victim of despair! I ought to be able to do something! Sweet as +life is to me to-night, I feel that I could lay it down to save +you."</p> +<p>"Dear fellow!" said Mantel, grasping his hands and choking with +emotion; "you don't know how that moves me! It can't seem half so +strange to you as it does to me; but I must be true to myself. If I +told you I would take this step I should not be honest. No! Not +to-night! Sometime, perhaps. I haven't much faith in life, but I +swear I don't believe, bad man as I am, that anybody can ever go +clear to the bottom, without being rescued by a love like that! +I'll never forget it, Davy; never! It will save me sometime; but +you must not talk any more, you are tired out. Go to bed, friend, +brother, the only one I ever really had and loved. You will need +your sleep. Leave me alone, and I will sit the night out and chew +the bitter cud."</p> +<p>It was not until daybreak that David ceased his supplications +and lay down to snatch a moment's rest. When he awoke, he sprang up +suddenly and saw Mantel still sitting before the open window where +he left him, smoking his cigar and pondering the great problem.</p> +<p>"I have had a wonderful dream," he said.</p> +<p>"What was it?" asked Mantel.</p> +<p>"I dreamt that I was swimming alone in a vast +ocean,—weary, exhausted, desperate and sinking,—but +just as I was going down a hand was thrust out of the sky, and +although I could not reach it, so long as I kept my eyes on it I +swam with perfect ease; while, just the moment I took them off, my +old fatigue came back and I began to sink. When I saw this, I never +looked away for even a second, and the sea seemed to bear me up +with giant arms. I swam and swam as easily as men float, day after +day and year after year, until I reached the harbor."</p> +<p>"Whose hand was it?"</p> +<p>"I couldn't tell."</p> +<p>"Well, swim on and look up, Davy, and God bless you."</p> +<p>They parted at dawn, one to break through the meshes and escape, +and the other—!</p> +<p>In Australia, when drought drives the rabbits southward, the +ranchmen, terrified at their approach, have only to erect a woven +wire fence on the north side of their farms to be perfectly safe, +for the poor things lie down against it and die in droves—too +stupid to go round, climb over, or dig under! It is a comfort to +see one of them now and then who has determined to find the green +fields on the southward side—no matter what it costs!</p> +<p>Weak and bad as he had been, David at least took the first path +which he saw leading up to the light.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXII" id="CHAPTER_XXXII"></a>CHAPTER +XXXII.</h2> +<h3>THE END OF EXILE</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Every one goes astray, and +the least imprudent is he who</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">repents soonest." + —Voltaire.</span></p> +<p>The steamer on which Corson embarked after his overland journey +from New York City to Pittsburg, had descended the Ohio almost as +far as Cincinnati, before other thoughts than those which were +concerned with Pepeeta and his spiritual regeneration could awaken +any interest in his mind. But as the boat approached Cincinnati, +the places, the persons and the incidents of his childhood world +began to present themselves to his consciousness. An irrepressible +longing to look once more upon the place of his birth and the +friends of his youth took possession of his mind.</p> +<p>He found, on inquiry, that the boat was to remain at the wharf +in Cincinnati for several hours, and that there would be time +enough for him to make the journey to his old home and back before +she proceeded down the river. He decided to do so, and observed +with satisfaction that those painful gropings for the next stepping +stone across the streams of action which had been so persistent and +painful a feature of his recent life had given place to the swift +intuitions of his youth. He saw his way as he used to when a boy, +and made his decisions rapidly and executed them fearlessly. The +discovery of this fact gave a new zest and hope to life.</p> +<p>In a few moments after he had landed at the familiar wharf he +was mounted upon a fleet horse, rushing away over those beautiful +rolling hills which fill the mind of the traveler with uncloying +delight in their variety, their fertility and their beauty. It was +the first time since he had left the farm that his mind had been +free enough from passion or pain to bestow its full attention upon +the charms of Nature; they dawned on him now like a new discovery. +The motion of the horse,—so long unfamiliar, so easy, so +graceful, so rhythmical,—seemed of itself to key his spirits +to his environment, for it is an elemental pleasure to be seated in +the saddle and feel the thrill of power and rapid motion. The +rider's eyes brightened, his cheeks glowed, his pulses bounded. He +gathered up the beauties of the world around him in great sheaves +of delicious and thrilling sensations. Long-forgotten odors came +sweeping across the fields, rich with the verdure of the vernal +season, and brought with them precious accompaniments of the +almost-forgotten past. The rich and varied colors of field and sky +and forest fed his starved soul with one kind of beauty; and the +sweet sounds of the outdoor world intoxicated him with another. The +low of cattle, the bleating of sheep, the crowing of chanticleers, +the cackling of hens, the gobble of turkeys, the multitudinous +songs of the birds enveloped him in a sort of musical atmosphere. +For the first time since his restoration to hope, the past seemed +like a dream, and these few blissful moments became a prophecy of a +new and grander life. "For, if the burden can fall off for a single +moment, why not for many moments?" So he said to himself, as the +consciousness of his past misery and his unknown future thrust +their disturbing faces into the midst of these blissful +emotions.</p> +<p>The vague joys which had been surging through his soul became +vivid and well-defined as the details of the landscape around his +old home began gradually to be revealed. At first he had recognized +only the larger and more general features like the lines of hills, +the valleys, the rivers; but now he began to distinguish well-known +farms and houses, streams in which he had fished, groves in which +he had hunted, roads over which he had driven; and the pleasure of +reviving old memories and associations increased with every step of +progress. At last he began to ascend the high hill which hid the +house of his childhood from view. He reached the summit; there lay +the village fast asleep in the spring sunshine. He recognized it, +but with astonishment, for it looked like a miniature of its former +self. The buildings that once appeared so grand had shrunk to +playhouses. The broad streets had contracted and looked like narrow +lanes. He rubbed his eyes to see if they were deceiving him.</p> +<p>An unreality brooded mysteriously over everything. It was the +same, yet not the same, and he paused a moment to permit his mind +to become accustomed to these alterations; to ponder upon the +reasons for this change; to realize the joy and sadness which +mingled in his heart; and then he turned into a side road to escape +any possible encounter with old acquaintances.</p> +<p>The route which he had chosen did not lead to the farm house, +but to the cemetery where the body of his mother lay wrapped in her +dreamless sleep; that neglected grave was drawing him to itself +with a magnetic force. He who, for a year, had thought of her +scarcely at all, now thought of nothing else. The last incident in +her life, the face white with its intolerable pain of confession, +the gasp for breath, the sudden fall, the quiet funeral, his own +responsibility for this tragic death—he lived it all over and +over again in an instant of time as grief, regret, remorse, +successively swept his heart. Tying his horse outside the lonely +burying ground, he threaded his way among the myrtle-covered graves +to the low mound which marked her resting place, approached it, +removed his hat and stood silently, reverently, by its side.</p> +<p>There come to us all hours or moments of sudden and unexpected +disclosures of the hidden meaning of life. Such an one came to +David, there by that lowly grave. He saw, as in the light of +eternity, the grandeur and beauty of that character which the story +of her sin and suffering had made him in his immaturity, +misinterpret and despise! He did not comprehend that tragic story +when she told it; it was impossible that he should, for he had no +knowledge or experience adequate to furnish him the clew. Nothing +is more inconceivable and impossible to a child than the +possibility of his parents dying or doing wrong. When he awakens to +consciousness he finds around him eternal things,—rocks, +hills, rivers, stars, parents! They all seem to belong to the same +order of indestructible existence, and he would as soon expect to +see the sun blotted from heaven as a parent removed from earth! And +when his ethical perceptions awake, he has another experience of a +similar character. His father and mother stand to him for the very +moral order itself! To his mind, it is inconceivable that they +should ever err, and the bare suggestion that those august and +venerable beings can really sin, fills him with horror and +incredulity. If he, therefore, sometime learns that they have +committed a trifling indiscretion, he trembles, and if, in some +tragic moment, irresistible proof is brought to bear on him that +they have been guilty of a dark and desperate deed, the whole moral +system seems to undergo a sudden and final collapse! There is no +longer any standing-ground beneath his feet and he could not be +driven into a deeper despair if God himself had yielded to +temptation. This discovery and this despair had fallen to the lot +of David, and he had cherished the impressions, formed in that dark +hour, through all these many months. But now, returning to the +scenes of his boyhood and bringing back his burdens of care and +sin, bringing back also his deepened experience of life and his +enlarged ability, to comprehend its difficulties and sorrows, he +suddenly saw the conduct and character of his mother in a new +light. He, too, had met temptation, had fallen, had gone down into +the depths, and in that awful and interpretative experience, +comprehended the victory which his mother had won on the field of +dishonor and defeat! He was now enabled to reconstruct, by the aid +of his enlightened imagination, a true picture of the events which +she had sketched so imperfectly in those few brief words. He +realized what she must have had to struggle against, and could +measure the whole weight of guilt and despair that must have rested +on her heart. He knew only too well how easy was the road into +darkness, and how rugged the one leading up into the light; yet +this frail woman had followed it and scaled those heights! She had +been able to put that past into the background, and keep it where +it belonged. She had hidden her sorrows in her heart; nothing had +daunted her; no discouragement had cast her down. By a wonderful +grace she had concealed her sin from some, and made others fear +even to whisper the knowledge they possessed. She had made that sin +a torch to illumine her future. She had used it as a stepping stone +to ascend into purity and holiness. He could not remember in all +those long years of devotion and of love, that she had ever +permitted him to feel a moment's distrust of her perfect purity and +goodness; and this seemed to him a miracle! That purity and +goodness must have been real! So protracted an hypocrisy would have +been impossible. Whence, then, had she derived the power thus to +rise superior to her past? She had shown its terrific spell over +her sensibilities by dying with shame when she at last proclaimed +it, and yet for twenty years she had kept it under her feet like a +writhing dragon, while she calmly fought her fight. It was +incredible, sublime!</p> +<p>As he stood there by her grave, measuring this deep and tragic +experience with his new divining rod of sympathy, there rushed upon +him an overmastering desire to reveal his appreciation to that +suffering heart beyond the skies. A feeling of bitterness at his +inability to do this frenzied him; a new consciousness of the irony +of life in permitting him to make these discoveries when they could +do her no good plunged him suddenly into a struggle with the darker +problems of being which for a little while had ceased to vex +him.</p> +<p>"Do all the appreciations of heroism come too late?" he asked +his sad heart. "Do we acquire wisdom only when we, can no longer be +guided by it? Do we achieve self-mastery and real virtue only to be +despised by our children? Where is the clue to this tangle? Oh! +mother, mother, if I could only have one single hour to ask thee +what thou didst learn about this awful mystery in those lonely +years of struggle! If I could only tell thee of my penitence, of my +admiration, my love! But it is too late—too late."</p> +<p>With this despairing cry on his lips, he flung himself upon the +grave, buried his face in the green turf and burst into a +convulsive passion of tears, such tears as come once or twice, +perhaps, in the lives of most men, when they are passing through +the awful years of adjustment to the incomprehensible and +apparently chaotic experiences of existence.</p> +<p>Like a thunderstorm, these convulsions clear the atmosphere and +give relief to the strained tension of the soul. At length, when +his emotion had spent itself in long-drawn sighs, David rose in a +calm and tender frame of mind, plucked a bunch of violets from the +grave and reluctantly turned away.</p> +<p>On foot, and leading his horse, he entered a quiet and secluded +path which led past the rear of the farm. He had not consciously +determined what he should do next; but his heart impelled him +irresistibly toward that little bridge where he had encountered +Pepeeta on his return from the lumber camp. It was at that place +and that hour, perhaps, that he had passed through the deepest +experience of his whole life, for it was there that the full power +of the beauty of the woman in whom he had met his destiny had burst +upon him, and it was there that for the first time he had +consciously surrendered himself to those rich emotions which love +enkindles in the soul.</p> +<p>Perhaps our spiritual enjoyments are capable of an +ever-increasing development and intensity; but those pleasures that +belong to the earthly life and are excited by the things of time +and sense, however often they may recur, by an inviolable law of +nature attain their climax in some one single experience, just as +there is in the passage of a star across the sky a single climactic +moment, and in the life of a rose an instant when it reaches its +most transcendent beauty. They all attain their zenith and then +begin to wane; that one brilliant but transitory instant of perfect +bliss can no more be recalled than the passing stroke of a bell, +the vanished glory of a sunset, or the last sigh of a dying friend; +and many of the vainest and most unsatisfying struggles of life are +expended in the effort to reproduce that one evanescent and +forevermore impossible ecstasy.</p> +<p>Possibly David hoped that he could live that perfect moment over +again by standing on that bridge! It was thither he bent his steps, +and as he approached it there did come back faint echoes, little +refluent waves; his lively imagination reproduced the scene; the +dazzling figure really seemed once more to emerge from the secluded +forest path; he almost heard the sound of her voice!</p> +<p>He threw the horse's bridle over the limb of a tree, leaned over +the handrail of the bridge and looked down into the water. The +stillness of the world, the slumber-song of the stream, the +haunting power of the past superinduced a mood of abstraction so +common in other, happier days.</p> +<p>Oblivious to all the objects and events of that outside world, +he stood there dreaming of the past. While he did so, Pepeeta, +following her daily custom, left the farm-house to take an evening +walk. She also sought the little bridge. Perhaps she was summoned +to this spot by some telepathic message from her lover; perhaps it +was habit that impelled her, perhaps it was some fascination in the +place itself. She moved forward with the quiet step peculiar to +natures which are sensitive to the charm of the great solitudes of +the world, and came noiselessly out from the low bushes behind the +lonely watcher. As she stepped out into the road, she caught sight +of the solitary figure and her heart, anticipating her eye in its +swift recognition, throbbed so violently that she placed her hand +on her bosom as if to still it.</p> +<p>"David!" she said in a low whisper.</p> +<p>She paused to observe him for a moment and, as he did not stir, +began to move quietly towards him as he stood there +motionless—a silhouette against the background of the +darkening sky. She drew near enough to touch him; but so profound +was his reverie that he was oblivious of her presence. It could not +have been long that Pepeeta waited, although it seemed ages before +he moved, sighed and breathed her name.</p> +<p>She touched him on the arm. He turned, and so met her there, +face to face.</p> +<p>It was an experience too deep for language, and their emotions +found expression in a single simple act. They clasped each other's +hands and stood silently looking into each other's eyes. After many +moments of silence David asked: "Why do you not speak to me, +Pepeeta?"</p> +<p>"My eyes have told you all," she said.</p> +<p>"But what they say is too good to be believed! You must confirm +their mute utterance with a living word," he cried.</p> +<p>"I love you, love you, love you," she replied.</p> +<p>"You love me! I bless you for it, Pepeeta, but there is +something else that I must know."</p> +<p>"What can it be? Is not everything comprehended in that single +word? It is all-embracing as the air! It enfolds life as the sky +enfolds the world!"</p> +<p>"Ah! Pepeeta, you loved me when we parted, but you did not +forgive me!"</p> +<p>She dropped her eyes.</p> +<p>"Have you forgiven me now?"</p> +<p>"It is not true that I did not forgive you," she replied, +looking up at his face again. "There has never been in my heart for +a single moment any sense of a wrong which I could not pardon. It +has been one of the awful mysteries of this experience that I could +not feel that wrong! When I tried to feel it most, my heart would +say to me, 'you are not sorry that he loved you, Pepeeta! You would +rather that all this agony should have befallen you than that he +should not have loved you at all!' It is this feeling that has +bewildered me, David. Explain it to me. Let me know how I could +have such feelings in my heart and yet be good. It seems as if I +ought to hate you; but I cannot. I love you, love you, love +you."</p> +<p>"But, Pepeeta, if you loved me, why did you leave me? I do not +comprehend. How could you let me stand in the darkness under your +window and then turn away from it into the awful blackness and +solitude to which I fled?"</p> +<p>"Do not reproach me, I thought it was my duty, David."</p> +<p>"I do not reproach you. I only want to know your inmost +heart."</p> +<p>"I do not know! There has been all the time something stronger +than myself impelling me. I grew too weak to reason. I felt that +the heart had reasons of its own, too deep for the mind to fathom, +and I yielded to them. I was only a woman after all, David. Love is +stronger than woman! Oh! it was I who wronged you. I ought not to +have forsaken you. Ought I? I do not know, even now. Who can tell +me what is right? Who can lead me out of this frightful labyrinth? +If I did wrong in seeking you, I humbly ask the pardon of God, and +if I did wrong in abandoning you, I ask forgiveness in all +lowliness and meekness from the man I wronged."</p> +<p>"No, Pepeeta, you have never wronged me; I alone have been to +blame. The result could not have been really different, no matter +what course you took. The scourge would have fallen anyway! All +that has happened has been inevitable. Justice had to be +vindicated. If it had not come in one way, it would in another, for +there are no short cuts and evasions in tragedies like this! Every +result that is attached to these causes must be drawn up by them +like the links in a chain, and one never knows when the end has +come."</p> +<p>His solemn manner and earnest words alarmed Pepeeta.</p> +<p>"Oh, David," she cried, "it cannot, cannot be so awful. Such +consequences cannot hang upon the deeds we commit in the +limitations and ignorance of this earthly life."</p> +<p>"Forgive me, Pepeeta, I should not talk so. These are the fears +of my darker moments. I have brighter thoughts and hopes. There is +a quiet feeling in my heart about the future that grows with the +passing days. God is good, and he will give us strength to meet +whatever comes. We must live, and while we live we will hope for +the best. Life is a gift, and it is our duty to enjoy it."</p> +<p>"Oh! it is good to hear you say that! It comforts me. I think it +cannot be possible that we should not be able to escape from this +darkness if we are willing to follow the divine light."</p> +<p>"I think so, too," he said.</p> +<p>His words were spoken with such assurance as to awaken a vague +surmise that he had reasons which he had not told. She pressed his +hands and besought him to explain.</p> +<p>"Oh! tell me," she said eagerly; "is there anything new? Has +anything happened?"</p> +<p>"Pepeeta," he answered slowly, "we have been strangely and +kindly dealt with. It is not quite so bad as it seemed, for I did +not kill him."</p> +<p>"You did not kill him! What do you mean?"</p> +<p>"No, it is a strange story! I thought I had killed him. I knew +murder was in my heart. It was no fault of mine that the blow was +not fatal. I left him in the road for dead. But, thank God, he did +not die; he did not die then!"</p> +<p>"He did, not die then? Have you seen him? Is he dead now? Tell +me! Tell me!"</p> +<p>Quietly, gently, briefly as he could, he narrated the events of +the past few months, and as he did so she drew in short breaths or +long inspirations as the story shifted from phase to phase, and +when at last he had finished, she clasped her hands and gazed up +into the depths of the sky with eyes that were swimming in +tears.</p> +<p>"Poor doctor, poor old man," Pepeeta sighed at last. "Oh! How we +have wronged him, how we have made him suffer. He was always kind! +He was rough, but he was kind. Oh! why could I not have loved him? +But I did not, I could not. My heart was asleep. It had never once +waked from its slumber until it heard your voice, David. And, +afterwards,—well I could not love him! But why should we have +wronged him so? How base it was! How terrible! I pity him, I blame +myself—and yet I cannot wish him back. Listen to me, David. I +am afraid I am glad he is dead. What do you think of that? Oh! what +a mystery the human heart is! How can these terrible contradictions +exist together? I would give my life to undo that wrong, and yet I +should die if it were undone. All this is in the heart of a +woman—so much of love, so much of hate, for I should have +hated him, at last! I cannot understand myself. I cannot understand +this story. What does all this mean for us, David? Perhaps you can +see the light now, as you used to! I think from your face and your +voice that you are your old self again. Oh! if you can see that +inner light once more, consult it. Ask it if there is any reason +why we cannot be happy now? Tell it that your Pepeeta is too weak +to endure this separation any longer. I am only a woman, David! I +cannot any longer bear life alone. I love you too deeply. I cannot +live without you."</p> +<p>Waiting long before he answered, as if to reflect and be sure, +David said quietly but confidently, "Pepeeta, I cannot see any +reason why we should not begin our lives over again, starting at +this very place from which we made that false beginning three long +years ago. We cannot go back, but, in a sense, we can begin +again."</p> +<p>"But can we really begin again?" she asked. "How is it possible? +I do not see! We are not what we were. There is so much of evil in +our hearts. We were pure and innocent three years ago. Is it not +necessary to be pure and innocent? And how can we be with all this +fearful past behind us? We cannot become children again!"</p> +<p>"I have thought much and deeply about it," David responded. I +know not what subtle change has taken place within me, but I know +that it has been great and real. My heart was hard, but now it is +tender. It was full of despair, and now it is full of hope. I am +not as innocent as I was that night when you heard me speak in the +old Quaker meeting-house, or rather I am not innocent in the same +way. My heart was then like a spring among the mountains; it had a +sort of virgin innocence. I had sinned only in thought, and in the +dreamy imaginations of unfolding youth. It is different now; a +whole world of realized, actualized evil lies buried in the depths +of my soul. It is there, but it is there only as a memory and not +as a living force. There must in some way, I cannot tell how, be a +purity of guilt as well as of innocence, and perhaps it is a purity +of a still higher and finer kind. There was a peace of mind which I +had as an innocent boy, which I do not possess now; but I have +another and deeper peace. There was a childish courage; but it was +the courage of one who had never been exposed to danger. There is +another courage in my heart now, and it is the courage of the +veteran who has bared his bosom to the foe! I know not by what +strange alchemy these diverse elements of evil can have become +absorbed and incorporated into this newer and better life, but this +I do know, and nothing can make me doubt it—that while I am +not so good, yet I am better; while I am not so pure, yet I am +purer. Yes, Pepeeta, I think we can go back on our track. We can be +born again! We can once more be little children. I feel myself a +little child to-night—I who, a few days ago, was like an old +man, bowed and crushed under a load of wretchedness and misery! God +seems near to me; life seems sweet to me. Let us begin again, +Pepeeta. We have traveled round a circle, and have come back to the +old starting point. Let us begin again."</p> +<p>"Oh! David," she said, kissing the hands she held; "how like +your old self you are to-night. Your words of hope have filled my +soul with joy. Is it your presence alone that has done it, or is it +God's, or is it both? A change has come over the very world around +us. All is the same, and yet all is different. The stars are +brighter. The brook has a sweeter music. There is something of +heaven in this intoxicating cup you have put to my lips! I seem to +be enveloped by a spiritual presence! Hush! Do you hear +voices?"</p> +<p>The excitement had been too intense for this sensitive woman to +endure with tranquillity. Her heart, her conscience, her +imagination had suffered an almost unendurable strain. She flung +herself into the arms of her lover and trembled upon his breast, +and he held her there until she had regained her composure.</p> +<p>"Do you really love me yet?" she asked, at length, raising her +face and gazing up into his with an expression in which the simple +affection of a little child was strangely blended with the +passionate love of an ardent and adoring woman.</p> +<p>"Love you!" he cried; "your face has been the last vision upon +which I gazed when I fell into a restless slumber, and the first +which greeted returning consciousness, when I waked from my +troubled dream. My life has been but a fragment since we parted; a +part of my individuality seemed to have been torn away. I have +always felt that neither time nor space could separate us +for—"</p> +<p>At that instant the horse which had stood patiently beside them +on the bridge, shook his head, rattled his bridle and whinnied.</p> +<p>"Poor fellow! I had forgotten all about him in my joy!" said +David, starting at the sound, and patting his shoulder. "You have +had a hard run, and are tired and hungry. I must get you to the +barn and feed you. They will miss you at the stable to-night, but I +will send you back to-morrow, or ride you myself, that is if +Pepeeta wishes to be rid of me."</p> +<p>He said this teasingly, but smiled at her,—a tender and +confident smile.</p> +<p>"Oh! you shall never leave me again—not for a moment," she +cried, pressing his arm against her heart.</p> +<p>He paused a moment and looked down as if a new thought had +struck him.</p> +<p>"What is the matter?" she asked.</p> +<p>"Do you think they will welcome me at home?" he said, with a +penitence and humility that touched her deeply.</p> +<p>"Welcome you home?" she exclaimed; "you do not know them, David. +They talk of nothing else. They have sent messages to you in every +direction. The door is never locked, and there has never been a +night since you disappeared that a candle has not burned to its +socket on the sill of your window; what do you think of that? You +do not know them, David. They are angels of mercy and goodness. I +have been selfish in keeping you so long to myself. Come, let us +hasten."</p> +<p>Just at that instant a loud halloo was heard—"Pepeeta, +Pepeeta, Pepeeta!"</p> +<p>"It is Steven—the dear boy! He has missed me. You have a +dangerous rival, David."</p> +<p>She said this with a merry laugh and cried out, "Steven, Steven, +Steven!"</p> +<p>"Where are you?" he called.</p> +<p>"I am here by the bridge!" she cried, in her silvery treble.</p> +<p>"She is here by the bridge!" The deep bass voice of her lover +went rolling through the woods.</p> +<p>There was silence for a moment, and then they heard a joyous +shout, "Uncle David! Uncle David! Oh! Mother, Father, it is Uncle +David."</p> +<p>There was a crashing in the bushes, and the great half-grown boy +bounded through them and flung himself into the arms extended to +him, with all the trust, all the love, all the devotion of the +happy days of old.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXIII" id="CHAPTER_XXXIII"></a>CHAPTER +XXXIII.</h2> +<h3>A SELF-IMPOSED EXPIATION</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Man-like is it to fall into +sin,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Fiend-like is it to dwell +therein,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Christ-like is it for sin to +grieve,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">God-like is it all sin to +leave."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;">—Friedrich von +Logau.</span></p> +<p>David's welcome home was quiet, cordial and heartfelt. The +Quaker life is calm; storms seldom appear on its surface, even +though they must sometimes agitate its depths; mind and heart are +brought under remarkable control; sympathy and charity are extended +to the erring; hospitality is a duty and an instinct; domestic love +is deep and powerful.</p> +<p>When David had frankly told his story, he was permitted to +resume his place in the life of the old homestead as if nothing had +happened. He expressed to his brother and sister his love for +Pepeeta, and his determination to make her his wife in lawful +marriage.</p> +<p>They assented to his plans, and at the earliest possible moment +the minister and elders of the little congregation of Friends were +asked to meet, in accordance with their custom, to "confer with him +about a concern which was on his mind."</p> +<p>They came, and heard his story and his intention, told with +straightforward simplicity. They, too, touched with sympathy and +moved to confidence, agreed that there was no obstacle to the +union. The date of the wedding was placed at the end of the month, +which, by their ecclesiastical law, must elapse after this avowal, +and an evening meeting was appointed for the ceremony.</p> +<p>In the meantime David remained quietly at home, and took up his +old labors as nearly as possible where he had laid them down. Such +a life as he had been leading induces a distaste for manual labor, +and sometimes he chafed against it. Again and again he felt his +spirit faint within him when he recalled the scenes of excitement +through which he had passed, and looked forward to years of this +unvaried drudgery; but he never permitted his soul to question his +duty! He had decided in the most solemn reflections of his life +that he would conquer himself in the place where he had been +defeated, perform the tasks which he had so ignominiously +abandoned, and then, when he had demonstrated his power to live a +true life himself, devote his strength to helping others.</p> +<p>The charms of this pastoral existence gradually came to his +support in his heroic resolution. The unbroken quiet of the happy +valley which had irritated him at first, grew to be more and more a +balm to his wounded spirit. The society of the animal world lent +its gracious consolation; the great horses, the ponderous oxen, the +doves fluttering and cooing about the barnyard, the suckling +calves, the playful colts, all came to him as to a friend, and in +giving him their confidence and affection awakened his own.</p> +<p>Above all Pepeeta was ever near him. It was no wonder that her +beauty threw its spell over David's spirit. It had been enhanced by +sorrow, for the human countenance, like the landscape, requires +shadow as well as sunshine to perfect its charms. But the burst of +sunshine which had come with David's return had brought it a final +consummation which transfigured even the Quaker dress she had +adopted. Her bonnet would never stay over her face but fell back on +her shoulders, her animated countenance emerging from this envelope +like the bud of a rose from its sheath. She was as a butterfly at +that critical instant when it is ready to leave its chrysalis and +take wing. She was a soul enmeshed in an ethereal body, rather than +a body which ensheathed a soul.</p> +<p>Quietly and sedately the lovers met each other at the table, or +at the spring, or at the milking.</p> +<p>And when the labors of the day had ended, they sat beneath the +spreading hackberry trees, or wandered through the garden, or down +the winding lane to the meadow, and reviewed the past with sadness +or looked forward to the future with a chastened joy. Their spirits +were subdued and softened, their love took on a holy rather than a +passionate cast, they felt themselves beneath the shadow of an +awful crime, and again and again when they grew joyous and almost +gay they were checked by the irrepressible apprehension that out +from under the silently revolving wheels of judgment some other +punishment would roll.</p> +<p>Tenderly as they loved each other, and sweet as was that love, +they could not always be happy with such a past behind them! In +proportion to the soul's real grandeur it must suffer over its own +imperfections. This suffering is remorse. In proud and gloomy +hearts which tell their secrets only to their own pillows, its +tears are poison and its rebukes the thrust of daggers. But in +those which, like theirs, are gentle and tender by nature, +remorseful tears are drops of penitential dew. David and Pepeeta +suffered, but their suffering was curative, for pure love is like a +fountain; by its incessant gushing from the heart it clarifies the +most turbid streams of thought or emotion. Each week witnessed a +perceptible advance in peace, in rest, in quiet happiness, and at +last the night of their marriage arrived, and they went together to +the meeting house.</p> +<p>The people gathered as they did at that other service when David +made the address to which Pepeeta had listened with such +astonishment and rapture. The entire community of Friends was +there, for even Quakers cannot entirely repress their curiosity. +There was evidence of deep feeling and even of suppressed +excitement. The men in their broad-brimmed hats, the women in their +poke bonnets, moved with an almost unseemly rapidity through the +evening shadows. The pairs and groups conversed in rapid, eager +whispers. They did not linger outside the door, but entered hastily +and took their places as if some great event were about to +happen.</p> +<p>There was a preliminary service of worship, and according to +custom, opportunity was given for prayer or exhortation. But all +minds were too intent upon what was to follow to enable them to +take part with spirit. The silences were frequent and tedious. The +young people moved restlessly on their seats, and their elders +rebuked them with silent glances of disapproval. All were in haste, +but nothing can really upset the gravity of these calm and tranquil +people, and it was not until after a suitable time had elapsed that +the leader of the meeting arose and said: "The time has arrived +when David and Pepeeta are at liberty to proceed with their +marriage, unless there be some one who can show just cause why this +rite should not be solemnized."</p> +<p>A flutter ran through the assembly, and a moment of waiting +ensued; then David rose, while every eye was fixed on him.</p> +<p>"My friends," he said, in a voice whose gentleness and sweetness +stirred their hearts; "you have refrained from inquiring into the +story of my life during the three years of my absence. I would be +glad if I could withhold it from your knowledge; but I feel that I +must make a confession of my sins."</p> +<p>In the death-like stillness he began. The narrative was in +itself dramatic, but the deep feeling of him who told it, his +natural oratory and the hearers' intent interest, lent to it a +fascination that at times became almost unendurable. Sighs were +often heard, tears were furtively wiped away, criticism was +disarmed, and the tenderness of this illicit but passionate and +determined love, blinded even those calm and righteous listeners to +its darker and more desperate phases. By an almost infallible +instinct we discover true love amid fictitious, unworthy and evil +elements; and when seen there is something so sublimely beautiful +that we prostrate ourselves before it and believe against evidence, +even, that sooner or later it will ennoble and consecrate those who +feel it.</p> +<p>When David had completed the narrative he continued as follows: +"It is now necessary that I should convince you, if I can, that +with my whole soul I have repented of this evil that I have done, +and that I have sought, and I hope obtained, pardon for what is +irreparable, and am determined to undo what I can. It is with awe +and gratitude, my friends, that I acknowledge the aid of heaven. +From the logical and well-deserved consequences of this sin I did +not escape alone! I was snatched from it like a brand from the +burning! No mortal-mind could have planned or executed my +salvation. It is marked by evidences of Divine power and wisdom. +Through a series of experiences almost too strange to be credible, +I have been drawn back here to the scenes of my childhood, to +encounter the one I have wronged and to find myself, so far as I +know, able not only to make reparation, but to enjoy the bliss of a +love of which I am unworthy. If I were wise enough, I would set +before you the spiritual meaning of this terrible experience, but I +am not. Three years ago I stood here in boyish confidence and +boldly expounded the mysteries of our human life. It is only when +we know nothing of life that we feel able to interpret it! Now that +I have seen it, tasted it, drunk the cup almost to the +dregs—I am speechless. Three facts, however, stand out before +my vision—sin, punishment, pardon! I have sinned; I have +suffered; I have been forgiven. I have been fully pardoned, but I +feel that I have not been fully punished! There are issues of such +an experience as this that cannot be brought to light in a day, a +year, perhaps not in a lifetime. Whatever they are, I must await +them and meet them; but as it is permitted a man to know his own +mind, when he is determined so to do, I know that I have turned +upon this sin with loathing! I know that I am ready to take up my +burden where I left it years ago. I know that I would do anything +to atone for the evil which I have wrought to others. I mean, if it +seem good to you, here and now to claim as my bride her into whose +life I have brought a world of sorrow. I mean, if God permits me, +to live quietly and patiently among you until I have so recruited +my spiritual strength that I can go forth into the great world of +sorrow and of sin which I have seen, and extend to others a hand of +helpfulness such as was stretched out to me at the moment of my +need; but if there is any one here to whom God has given a message +for me, whether it be to approve or condemn my course, I trust that +I shall have grace to receive it meekly."</p> +<p>He took his seat, and it seemed for a few moments that every +person in the room had yielded heart and judgment to this noble and +modest appeal. But there was among them one whose stern and +unyielding sense of justice had not been appeased. He was a man who +had often suffered for righteousness sake and who attached more +value to the testimony of a clear conscience than to any earthly +dignity. He slowly and solemnly rose. His form was like that of a +prophet of ancient days. His deep-set eyes glowed like two bright +stars under the cloudy edge of his broad-brimmed hat. His face was +emaciated with a self-denial that bordered upon asceticism, and wan +with ceaseless contemplations of the problems of life, death and +immortality. Not a trace of tender emotion was evident on features, +which might have been carved in marble. It was impossible to +conceive that he had ever been young, and there seemed a bitter +irony in the effort of such a man to judge the cause of a love like +that which pleaded for satisfaction in the hearts of David and +Pepeeta, and to pronounce upon the destinies of those whose souls +were still throbbing with passion.</p> +<p>But such was the purpose of the man. His first words sounded on +the stillness like an alarm bell and shook the souls of listeners +with a sort of terror.</p> +<p>"We did not seek to try this cause," he said. "It was brought +before us by the wish of this sinful man himself. But if we must +judge, let us judge like God! We read of Him—that he 'lays +righteousness to the line and judgment to the plummet.' Let us do +the same. That a great wrong hath been done is evident to every +mind. It is not meet that such wrongs should go unpunished! These +two transgressors have suffered; but who believes that such wrongs +may justly be so soon followed by felicity? It would be an +encouragement to evil-doers and a premium upon vice! Who would +refrain from violently rending the marriage bonds or sundering any +sacred tie, if in a few short months the fruit of the guilty deed +might be eaten in peace by the culprit? What assurance may we have +that the lesson which has been but superficially graven on this +guilty heart may not be obliterated in the enjoyment of triumph? +Why should these youths make such unseemly haste? If they are +indeed in earnest to seek the truth and lay to heart the meaning of +this experience into which their sinful hearts have led them, let +them of their own accord and out of their humble and contrite +hearts devote a year to meditation and prayer. Let them show to +others they have learned that to live righteously and soberly, and +not to grasp ill-gotten gains or enjoy unhallowed pleasures, is the +chief end of human life! The hour is ripe for such a demonstration. +We have seen other evidences among us of an unholy hungering after +the unlawful pleasures of life. It is time that a halt were called. +If this community is dedicated to righteousness, then let us exalt +the standard. It is at critical moments like this that history is +made and character formed. If we weaken now, if we permit our +hearts to overpower our consciences, God will smite us with His +wrath, vice will rush upon us like a flood, and we shall be given +over to the lust of the flesh and the pride of life! 'To the law +and to the testimony, my brethren.'"</p> +<p>With his long arm extended and his deep-set eyes glowing, he +repeated from memory the solemn words:</p> +<p>"'Behold ye trust in lying words that cannot profit. Will ye +steal, murder and commit adultery and swear falsely, and burn +incense to Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not, and +come and stand before me in this house which is called by my name +and say, "We are delivered to do all these abominations?" Is this +house which is called by my name, become a den of robbers in your +eyes? Behold, even I have said it, saith the Lord. But go ye now +into my place which was Shiloh, where I set my name at the first, +and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my people Israel! +And now because ye have done all these works, saith the +Lord—and I spake unto you (rising up early and speaking), but +ye heard not, and I called you but ye answered not—therefore +will I do unto this house which is called by my name (wherein ye +trust) and unto the place which I gave unto you and your fathers, +as I have done to Shiloh! And I will cast you out of my +sight—even the whole people of Ephraim! Therefore pray not +thou for this people, neither lift up cry nor prayers for them, +neither make intercession to me—for I will not hear +thee!'</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>"This is my message! This is the advice ye have invited! Wait a +year! Watch and pray! Fit yourselves for the enjoyment of your love +by repentance."</p> +<p>The impression made by these solemn words was tremendous. It was +as if eternity had suddenly dawned in that dim-lit room, and the +leaves of the book of doom had been opened.</p> +<p>There had been stillness before, but now there was the silence +of the grave, and at this dramatic moment one of the tallow candles +whose feeble light had served but to render the darkness visible, +spluttered, went out, and intensified the silence with a +meaningless and exasperating sound. No one knew how to break the +spell which these intense and terrible words had cast over them. +Their limbs and faculties were both benumbed.</p> +<p>Upon Pepeeta this message had fallen like a thunderbolt. Her +Oriental imagination, her awakened conscience, her throbbing heart +had all been thrilled. She did not move; her eyes were still fixed +on the prophet; her face was white; her hands were clasped tightly +in her lap.</p> +<p>David leaned forward in his seat and listened like a culprit +hearing sentence from a judge. Those who were closely observing his +noble countenance saw it suddenly light up with the glow of a +spiritual ecstasy, and rightly conjectured that he was burning with +the zeal of martyrdom. He saw his way, for the first time, to a +worthy expiation of his sin. The prophet had interpreted the +purpose of God and pointed out the path of duty. He started to his +feet, but at the same instant over in the corner of the room rose +the figure of a man whose full form, benignant countenance and +benevolent manner afforded the most marked contrast to that of the +Jeremiah who had electrified them by his appeal to +righteousness.</p> +<p>He moved toward one of the half dozen candles which were still +burning, and stood within the narrow circle of its feeble rays. +Drawing from the inner pocket of his coat a well-worn volume he +opened it, held it up to the light and began to read. The tones of +his voice were clear and mellifluous, his articulation slow and +distinct, and his soul seemed permeated with the wondrous depth and +beauty of what is perhaps the most exquisite passage in the +literature of the world. It was the story of the prodigal son.</p> +<p>As he proceeded, and that brief but perfect drama unfolded +itself before the imagination of his hearers, it was as if they had +never heard it before, or at least as if its profound import had +never been revealed to their dull minds. Intimations and +suggestions which had never been disclosed to them came out like +lines written in sensitive ink, under the influence of light and +heat. The living medium through which they were uttered seemed +slowly to melt away, and as in a dissolving view, the sublime +teacher, the humble Galilean stood before them, and they heard his +voice! The last words died away; the reader took his seat without +uttering a single comment. Not a person moved.</p> +<p>Each heart in that silent room was thrilled with emotions which +were common to all. But there was one which had a burden all its +own.</p> +<p>The demure Quaker maiden who had looked love out of her +dove-like eyes three years ago when Pepeeta appeared for the first +time among these quiet folk, was in her old familiar seat. Her life +had never been the same since that hour, for the man whom she loved +with all the deep intensity of which a heart so young, so pure, so +true was capable, had been suddenly stolen from her by a stranger. +Her thwarted love had never found expression, and she had borne her +pain and loss as became the child of a religion of silence, +patience and fortitude. But the wound had never healed, and now she +was compelled to be a sad and hopeless spectator of another scene +which sealed her fate and made her future hopeless. Her bonnet hid +the sad face from view, as her heart hid its secret.</p> +<p>The turn which had been given to the emotions of these quiet +people by the reading of the parable had been so sudden and so +powerful that perhaps not a single person in the room doubted that +David and Pepeeta would at once rise and enter into that holy +contract for which the way seemed to have been so easily opened by +the tender story of the father's love for the prodigal son.</p> +<p>But it was the unexpected which happened. The soul of David +Corson had passed through one of those genuine and permanent +revolutions which sometimes take place in the nature of man. He had +completed the cycle of revolt and anarchy to which he had been +condemned by his inheritance from a wild and profligate father. +Whether that fever had run its natural course or whether as David +himself believed, he had been rescued by an act of divine +intervention, it is certain that the change was as actual as that +which takes place when a grub becomes a butterfly. It was equally +certain that from this time onward it was the mental and spiritual +characteristics of his mother which manifested themselves in his +spiritual evolution.</p> +<p>He became his true self—a saint, an ascetic, a mystic, a +potential martyr.</p> +<p>When he rose to his feet a moment after the reader had finished, +his face shining with an inward light and glowing with a sublime +purpose, all believed that he was about to summon Pepeeta to their +marriage.</p> +<p>What was the astonishment, then, when in rapt words he +began:</p> +<p>"God has spoken to us, my friends. We have heard his voice. It +is too soon for me to enjoy this bliss! Yes, I will wait! I will +dedicate this year to meditation and prayer. Pepeeta, wilt thou +join me in this resolution? If thou wilt, let the betrothal of this +night be one of soul to soul and both our souls to God! Give me +thine hand."</p> +<p>Still under the spell of strange spiritual emotions to which her +sensitive spirit vibrated like the strings of an Æolian harp, +Pepeeta rose, and placing her hands in those of her lover, looked +up into his face with a touching confidence, an almost adoring +love. It was more like the bridal of two pure spirits than the +betrothal of a man and woman!</p> +<p>Not one of those who saw it has ever forgotten that strange +scene; it is a tradition in that community until this day. They +felt, and well they might, those strange people who had dedicated +themselves and their children to the divine life, that in this +scene their little community had attained the zenith of its +spiritual history.</p> +<p>No wonder that from an English statesman this eulogy was once +wrung: "By God, sir, we cannot afford to persecute the Quakers! +Their religion may be wrong, but the people who cling to an idea +are the very people we want. If we must persecute—let us +persecute the complacent!"</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXIV" id="CHAPTER_XXXIV"></a>CHAPTER +XXXIV.</h2> +<h3>FASTING IN THE WILDERNESS</h3> +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>"So great is the good I look for, that every hardship delights +me."</p> +<p>—St. Francis.</p> +</div> +<p>The period of our country's history in which these characters +were formed was one of tremendous moral earnestness. In that +struggle in which man pitted himself against primeval forest and +aboriginal inhabitant, the strongest types of manhood and womanhood +were evolved, and those who conceived the idea of living a +righteous life set themselves to its realization with the same +energy with which they addressed themselves to the conquest of +nature itself. To multitudes of them, this present world took a +place that in the fullest sense of the word was secondary to that +other world in which they lived by anticipation.</p> +<p>David Corson was only one of many who, to a degree which in +these less earnest or at least more materialistic times appears +incredible, had determined to trample the world under their feet. +He awoke next morning with an unabated purpose and at an early hour +set resolutely about its execution. He bade a brave farewell to +Pepeeta, exhorted her to seek with him that preparation of heart +which alone could fit them for the future, and then with a bag of +provisions over his shoulder and an axe in his hand started forth +to carry out a plan which he had formed in the night.</p> +<p>At the head of the little valley where Pepeeta had built her +gypsy fire, and experienced her great disillusionment, was a piece +of timber land belonging to his mother's estate. He determined to +make a clearing there and establish a home for himself and +Pepeeta.</p> +<p>He wisely calculated that the accomplishment of this arduous +task would occupy his mind and strength through the year of +expiation which he had condemned himself to pass.</p> +<p>It is one of the most impressive spectacles of human life to see +a man enter a primeval forest and set himself to subdue nature with +no implement but an axe! Those of us who require so many luxuries +and who know how to maintain existence only by the use of so many +curious and powerful pieces of mechanism would think ourselves +helpless indeed in the center of a wilderness with nothing but an +axe or a rifle!</p> +<p>No such apprehensions troubled the heart of the young woodsman, +for from his earliest childhood he had handled that primitive +implement and knew its exhaustless possibilities. He was young and +strong, for reckless as his recent life had been, the real sources +of his physical vitality had not been depleted.</p> +<p>When David had passed out of sight of the house and entered the +precincts of the quiet forest, there surged up from his heart those +mighty impulses and irresistible tides of energy which are the +sublime inheritance of youth. He counted off the months and they +seemed to him like days. Already he heard the monarchs of the +forest fall beneath his blows, already he saw the walls of his log +cabin rising in an opening of the vast wilderness, already he +beheld Pepeeta standing in the open door. The vast panorama of this +virgin world began to unroll itself to his delighted vision. The +splendid spectacle of a morning as new and wonderful as if there +had never been another, drew his thoughts away from himself and his +cares. The dew was sparkling on the grass; the meadow larks were +singing from every quarter of the fields through which he was +passing; the great limbs of the trees were tossed by the fresh +breezes of June. Everywhere were color, music, fragrance, motion. +The burden rolled from his heart; remorse and guilt faded like +dreams; the sad past lost its hold; the present and the future were +radiant! To even the worst of men, in such surroundings, there come +moments of exemption from the ennui and shame of life, and to this +deep soul which had issued, purified, from the fires through which +it had passed, they lengthened into glorious hours, hours such as +kindled on the lips of the poet those exultant and exquisite +words:</p> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"The year's at the +spring</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And day's at the +morn;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Morning's at seven;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">The hillside's +dew-pearled;</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"The lark's on the +wing;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">The snail's on the +thorn;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">God's in his +heaven—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">All's right with the +world!"</span></p> +<p>He climbed a steep hillside, descended into a secluded and +beautiful valley, pressed his way through dense underbrush, and +while the day was still young stood on the spot where he had +determined to lay the foundation of his cabin.</p> +<p>Two ranges of hills came together and enclosed it as if in giant +arms. Two pure crystal springs issued from clefts in the bases of +these hills, and after flowing towards each other for perhaps a +quarter of a mile, mingled their waters in a brawling brook. It was +at the point of their junction that David had determined to erect +that primitive structure which has afforded a home to so many +families in our American wildernesses. He threw his bundle down and +gazed with admiration on the scene.</p> +<p>Here was the virgin and unprofaned loveliness of Nature. He felt +her charm and prostrated himself before her shrine. But he rendered +to that invisible spirit of which these forms were only an +imperfect manifestation, a worship deeper still, and by an instinct +of pure adoration lifted his face toward the sky.</p> +<p>Having refreshed his soul by this communion, he drank a deep +draught of the sparkling water at the point where the rivulets met. +Then he threw off his coat, took his axe in hand and selected a +tree on which to begin his attack.</p> +<p>It was an enormous oak which, with roots struck deep into the +soil and branches lifted high and spread wide in the air, had +maintained itself successfully against innumerable foes for perhaps +a thousand years. He reflected long before he struck, for to him as +to all lovers of nature there is a certain inviolable sacredness +about a tree.</p> +<p>"Should you see me at the point of death," said Rousseau, "carry +me under the shade of an oak and I am persuaded I shall +recover."</p> +<p>David was a lover of trees. From the summits of the hills he had +often gazed down upon the forests and observed how "all the tree +tops lay asleep like green waves on the sea." He had harvested the +fruits of the apple and peach, clubbed the branches of the walnut, +butternut and beach, and boiled the sap of the maple. He had seen +the trees offer their hospitable shelter to the birds and the +squirrels, had basked beneath their umbrageous shadows and had +listened to their whispers in the summer, and to their wild music +"when winter, that grand old harper, smote his thunder-harp of +pines."</p> +<p>It cost him pain to lay violent hands on a thing so sacred; +nevertheless he swung his axe in the air and a loud reverberating +blow broke the immense solitude. There are many kinds of music; but +there is none fuller of life and power and primal energy than the +ring of the woodsman's axe as blow after blow, through hour after +hour, falls rhythmically upon the wound which he cuts in the great +hole of a forest monarch.</p> +<p>The gash deepened and widened, the chips flew in showers and the +woodchopper's craft, long unpracticed, came back to him with every +stroke. The satisfying consciousness of skill and power filled him +with a sort of ecstasy. Just as the sun reached the zenith and +looked down to see what devastation was being wrought in this +solitude, the giant trembled; the blade had struck a vital place; +he reeled, leaned forward, lurched, plunged headlong, and with a +roar that resounded through the wide reaches of the forest, fell +prone upon the ground.</p> +<p>The woodsman wiped the perspiration from his brow and smiled. +The appetite of the pioneer had been whetted with his work. He +kindled a fire, boiled a pot of coffee, fried a half dozen slices +of bacon, remembered his sickly appetite in the luxurious +restaurants of great cities, and laughed aloud for joy—wild, +unbounded joy—the joy of primitive manhood, of health, of +strength, of hope. And then he stretched himself on the ground and +looked up into the blue sky through the opening he had made in the +green canopy above him and through which the sun was gazing with +bold, free glances on the face of the modest valley and whispering +amorously of its love.</p> +<p>Those glances fell soft and warm on his own upturned +countenance, and the rays of life-giving power penetrated the +inmost core of his being, finding their way by some mysterious +alchemy through the medium of matter into the very citadel of the +spirit itself. They imparted a new life. He basked in them until he +fell asleep, and when he awakened he felt anew the joy of mere +physical existence; he rose, shook himself like a giant, and +resumed his work.</p> +<p>He now began to prepare for himself a temporary booth which +should shelter him until he had erected his cabin; and the rest of +the day was consumed in this enterprise. At its close this simple +task was done, so easy is it to provide a shelter for him who seeks +protection and not luxury! Having once more satisfied his hunger, +he built a fire in front of his rude booth, and lay down in its +genial rays, his head upon a pillow of moss. The stillness of the +cool, quiet evening was broken only by the crackling of the flames, +the quiet murmurs of the two little rills which whispered to each +other startled interrogations as to the meaning of this rude +invasion, the hoot of owls in the tall tree tops, and the stealthy +tread of some of the little creatures of the forest who prowled +around, while seeking their prey, to discover, if possible, the +meaning of this great light, and the strange noises with which +their forest world had resounded.</p> +<p>There came to the recumbent woodsman a deep and quiet peace. He +felt a new sense of having been in some way taken back into the +fraternity of the unfallen creatures of the universe, and into the +all-embracing arms of the great Father. He fell asleep with pure +thoughts hovering over the surface of his mind, like a flock of +swallows above a crystal lake. And Nature did take him back into +that all-enfolding heart where there is room and a welcome for all +who do not alienate themselves. Her latchstrings are always out, +and forests, fields, mountains, oceans, deserts even, have a +silent, genial welcome for all who enter their open doors with +reverence, sympathy and yearning. A man asleep alone in a vast +wilderness! How easy it would be for Nature to forget him and +permit him to sleep on forever! What gives him his importance there +amid those giant trees? Why should sun, moon, stars, gravity, heat, +cold, care for him? How can the hand that guides the +constellations—those vast navies of the infinite +sea—pause to touch the eyelids of this atom when the time +comes for him to rise?</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXV" id="CHAPTER_XXXV"></a>CHAPTER XXXV.</h2> +<h3>A FOREST IDYL</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Stranger, if thou hast +learned a truth which needs</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">No school of long experience, +that the world</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Is full of guilt and misery, and +hast seen</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Enough of all its sorrows, crimes +and cares</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To tire thee of it, enter this +wild wood</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And view the haunts of Nature. +The calm shade</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Shall bring a kindred calm, and +the sweet breeze</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">That makes the green leaves +dance, shall waft a balm</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To thy sick heart." + —Bryant.</span></p> +<p>When the sleeper woke, refreshed and rested, in the morning, it +was to take up the routine of duties which were to be only slightly +varied for many months to come.</p> +<p>One after another the great trees succumbed to the blows of his +axe and from their prostrate forms he carefully selected those +which were best adapted to the structure of his cabin, while over +the others he piled the limbs and brush and left them to dry for +the conflagration which at the end of the hot summer should remove +them from the clearing.</p> +<p>When the rainy days came he spent his time in the shelter of his +little arbor cutting the "shakes," or shingles, which were to +furnish the roof of Pepeeta's home.</p> +<p>The days and weeks fled by and the opening in the forest grew +apace. He measured it by night with a celestial arithmetic, using +the stars for his triangulations, and as one after another of them +became visible where before they had been obscured by the foliage +of the trees, he smiled, and felt as if he were cutting his farm +out of heaven instead of earth. It was really cut out of both!</p> +<p>His Sundays were spent at the old homestead with his loved ones, +and once every week Pepeeta came with Steven to bring him luxuries +which her own hands had prepared, and to pass the afternoon with +him at his work in the "clearing."</p> +<p>Those were memorable hours, possessing that three-fold existence +with which every hour can be endowed by the soul of +man—anticipation—realization—recollection. In +this way a single moment sometimes becomes almost synchronous with +eternity.</p> +<p>It would have been impossible to tell which of the three was +happiest, but Pepeeta was always the center of interest, attention +and devotion. Her whole nature seemed to be aroused and called into +play; all her countless charms were incessantly evoked; her +inimitable laughter resounded through the woods and challenged the +emulous birds to unsuccessful competition. Seriousness alternated +with gaiety, coquetry with gravity. Some of the time she spent in +gathering flowers to adorn her lover's booth, and some in carrying +to the rubbish pile such limbs and branches as her strength would +permit her to handle.</p> +<p>Nothing could have been more charming than the immense efforts +that she put forth with such grace, to lift with all her might some +branch that her lover had tossed aside with a single hand! The +attitudes into which these efforts threw her body were as graceful +as those into which the water threw the cresses by its ceaseless +flow, or the wind bent the tree tops by its fitful gusts.</p> +<p>Steven was frantic with delight at the free, open life of the +woods. He chased the squirrels and rabbits, he climbed the trees to +gaze into the nests of the birds, and caught the butterflies in his +hat.</p> +<p>David entered into all their pleasures, but with a chastened and +restrained delight, for he could never forget that he was an exile +and a penitent.</p> +<p>There were two days in the season when the regular routine of +the woodsman's work was interrupted by functions which possess a +romantic charm. One was when the Friends and neighbors from a wide +region assembled to help him "raise" the walls of his cabin.</p> +<p>From all sides they appeared, in their picturesque costumes of +homespun or fur. Suddenly, through the ever-open gates of the +forest, teams of horses crashed, drawing after them clanking log +chains, and driven by men who carried saws and "cant hooks" on +their broad shoulders. Loud halloos of greeting, cheerful words of +encouragement, an eager and agreeable bustle of business, filled +the clearing.</p> +<p>Log by log the walls rose, as the horses rolled them into place +with the aid of the great chains which the pioneers wrapped around +them. It was only a rude log cabin they built—with a great, +wide opening through the middle, a room on either side, and a +picturesque chimney at either end; but it was not to be despised +even for grace, and when warmth and comfort and adaptability to +needs and opportunities are considered, there have been few +buildings erected by the genius of man more justly entitled to +admiration.</p> +<p>When this single day's work was ended there remained nothing for +David to do but chink and daub the walls with mud, cover the rude +rafters of the roof with his shakes, build the chimneys out of +short sticks, cob-house fashion, and cement them on the inside with +clay to protect them from the flames.</p> +<p>The other day was the one on which, at the close of the long and +genial summer, when the mass of timber and brushwood had been +thoroughly seasoned by the hot suns, he set his torches to the +carefully constructed piles.</p> +<p>Steven and Pepeeta were to share with him in the excitement of +this conflagration, and David had postponed it until dusk, in order +that they might enjoy its entire sublimity. He had taken the +precaution to plow many furrows around the cabin and also around +the edge of the clearing, so the flames could neither destroy his +house nor devastate the forest.</p> +<p>Such precautions were necessary, for nothing can exceed the +ferocity of fire in the debris which the woodsmen scatter about +them. When the dusk had settled down on this woodland world and +long shadows had crept across the clearing, wrapping themselves +round the trees at its edge and scattering themselves among the +thick branches till they were almost hid from view, David lighted a +pine torch and gave it into the hands of the eager boy, who seized +it and like a young Prometheus started forth. A single touch to the +dry tinder was enough. With a dull explosion, the mass burst into +flame. Shouting in his exultation, the little torch-bearer rushed +on, igniting pile after pile, and leaving behind him almost at +every step a mighty conflagration. At each new instant, as the +night advanced, a new outburst of light illumined the darkness, +until ten, twenty, fifty great heaps were roaring and seething with +flames! Great jets spouted up into the midnight heavens as if about +to kiss the very stars, and suddenly expired in the illimitable +space above them. Immense sparks, shot out from these bonfires as +from the craters of volcanoes, went sailing into the void around +them and fell hissing into the water of the brooks or silently into +the new-plowed furrows.</p> +<p>The clouds above the heads of the subdued and almost terrified +beholders, for no one is ever altogether prepared for the absolute +awfulness of such a spectacle, were glowing with the fierce light +which the fires threw upon them. Weird illuminations played +fantastic tricks in the foliage from which the startled shadows had +vanished. The roar of the ever-increasing fires became louder and +louder, until in very terror Pepeeta crept into David's arms for +protection, while the child who had fearlessly produced this scene +of awful grandeur and destruction shouted with triumph at his +play.</p> +<p>"Thee's a reckless little fire-eater!" said David, watching his +figure as it appeared and disappeared. "How youth trifles with +forces whose powers it can neither measure nor control! It was well +that I drew a furrow around our cabin or it would have been +burned."</p> +<p>His gaze was fixed on the little cabin which seemed to dance and +oscillate in the palpitating light; and touched by the analogies +and symbols which his penetrating eye discovered in the simple +scenes of daily life, he continued to soliloquize, saying, "I +should have drawn furrows around my life, before I played with +fire!"</p> +<p>"Nay, David," replied Pepeeta, "we should never have played with +fire at all."</p> +<p>"How wise we are—too late!"</p> +<p>"Shall we walk any more cautiously when the next untried pathway +opens?" he added, somewhat sadly, as he recalled the errors of the +past.</p> +<p>"We ought to, if experience has any value," said Pepeeta.</p> +<p>"But has it? Or does it only interpret the past, and not point +out the future?"</p> +<p>"Something of both, I think."</p> +<p>"Well we must trust it."</p> +<p>"But not it alone. There is something, better and safer."</p> +<p>"What is that, my love?"</p> +<p>"The path-finding instinct of the soul itself."</p> +<p>"Do you believe there is such an instinct?"</p> +<p>"As much as I believe the carrier pigeon has it. It is the inner +light of which you told me. You see, I remember my lesson like an +obedient child."</p> +<p>"Why, then, are we so often misled?" he asked, tempting her.</p> +<p>"Because we do not wholly trust it!" she said.</p> +<p>"But how can we distinguish the true light from the false, the +instinct from imagination or desire? If the soul has a hundred +compasses pointing in different ways, what compass shall lead the +bewildered mariner to know the true compass?"</p> +<p>"He who will know, can know."</p> +<p>"Are you speaking from your heart, Pepeeta?"</p> +<p>"From its depths."</p> +<p>"And have you no doubts that what you say is true?"</p> +<p>"None, for I learned it from a teacher whom I trust, and have +justified it by my own experience."</p> +<p>"And now the teacher must sit at the feet of the pupil! Oh! +beautiful instructress, keep your faith firm for my sake! I have +dark hours through which I have to pass and often lose my way. The +restoration of my spiritual vision is but slow. How often am I +bewildered and lost! My thoughts brood and brood within me!"</p> +<p>"Put them away," she said, cheerily. "We live by faith and not +by sight. We need not be concerned with the distant future. Let us +live in this dear, divine moment. I am here. You are here! We are +together; our hands touch; our eyes meet; our hearts are one; we +love! Let us only be true to our best selves, and to the light that +shines within! Oh! I have learned so much in these few months, +among these people of peace, David! They know the way of life! We +need go no farther to seek it. It lies before us. Let us follow +it!"</p> +<p>"Angel of goodness," he exclaimed, clasping her hand, "it must +be that supreme Love reigns over all the folly and madness of life, +or to such a one as I, a gift so good and beautiful would never +have been given!"</p> +<p>She pressed his hand for response, for her lips quivered and her +heart was too full for words.</p> +<p>And now, through the ghastly light which magnified his size +portentously and painted him with grotesque and terrible colors, +the child reappeared, begrimed with smoke and wild with the +transports of a power so vast and an accomplishment so +wonderful.</p> +<p>The three figures stood in the bright illumination, fascinated +by the spectacle. The flames, as if satisfied with destruction, had +died down, and fifty great beds of glowing embers lay spread out +before them, like a sort of terrestrial constellation.</p> +<p>The wind, which had been awakened and excited to madness as it +rushed in from the great halls of the forest to fan the fires, now +that it was no longer needed, ceased to blow and sank into silence +and repose. Little birds, returning to their roosts, complained +mournfully that their dreams had been disturbed, and a great owl +from the top of a lofty elm hooted his rage.</p> +<p>It was Saturday night. The labors of the week were over. The +time had come for them to return to the farm house. They turned +away reluctantly, leaving nature to finish the work they had +begun.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXVI" id="CHAPTER_XXXVI"></a>CHAPTER +XXXVI.</h2> +<h3>THE SUPREME TEST</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Not in the clamor of the +crowded street,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Not in the shouts and plaudits of +the throng,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But in ourselves, are triumph and +defeat."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Longfellow.</span></p> +<p>The emotions of the woodsman's heart had been in the main +cheerful and full of hope during the springtime and the summer; but +when the autumn came, with its wailing winds, its dying vegetation, +and falling leaves, new moods were superinduced in his sensitive +soul.</p> +<p>It is impossible even for the good and innocent to behold this +universal dissolution and decay without remembering that they +themselves must pass through some such temporary experience. But +upon those who carry guilty secrets in their hearts these +impressions descend with crushing weight. David felt them to the +full when at last the winter set in; when the days were shortened +and he was compelled to forego his toil at an early hour and retire +to his cabin! There he was confronted by all the problems and +temptations of a soul battling with the animal nature and striving +to emancipate the spirit from its thraldom.</p> +<p>At the close of one cold, blustering day, when his evening meal +had been eaten in solitude, he sat down before the great fire which +roared in the chimney. He read awhile, but grew tired of his book +and threw it down. The melancholy which he had suppressed so long +rose at last, and there burst on him the apparent uselessness of +the task he had gratuitously assigned himself. Why had he ever done +it? Why should he be sitting there alone in his cabin when by his +side there might be that radiant woman whose presence would dispel +instantly and forever the loneliness which ceaselessly gnawed at +his heart? What, after all, was to be gained by this +self-sacrifice? Life is very short, and there are few pleasures to +be had, at best. Why should he not seize them as fast as they came +within his reach? Had he not suffered enough already? Who had ever +suffered more? It was only an unnecessary cruelty that had even +suggested such agony as he was now experiencing. He was being +cheated out of legitimate pleasures, and that by the advice of an +old ascetic whose own capacity for enjoyment had been dried up, and +who was envious of the happiness of others! As these thoughts +rushed through his soul, he could not but perceive that he had been +forced once more to enter the arena and to fight over the old +battle which he had lost in the lumberman's cabin three years +before! And he found to his dismay how much harder it was to fight +these foes of virtue when they come to us not as vague imaginations +of experiences which we have never tried, but as vivid memories of +real events. Then he had only dreamed of the sweet fruits of the +knowledge of good and evil: but now the taste was in his mouth, to +whet his appetite and increase his hunger. The slumbering selfhood +of his soul woke and clamored for its rights.</p> +<p>It was Chateaubriand who affirmed that the human heart is like +one of those southern pools which are quiet and beautiful on the +surface, but in the bottom of which there lies an alligator! +However calm the surface of the exile's soul appeared, there was a +monster in its depth, and now it rose upon him. In his struggles +with it he paced the floor, sank despairingly into his chair, and +fell on his knees by turns. Animal desires and brute instincts +grappled with intellectual convictions and spiritual aspirations; +flesh and blood with mind and spirit; skepticism with trust; +despair with hope.</p> +<p>The old forest had been the theater of many combats. In earth, +air and water, birds, animals and fishes had struggled with each +other for supremacy and existence. Beasts had fought with Indians +and Indians with white men; but no battle had been more significant +or tragic than the one which was taking place in the quiet cabin. +There was no noise and no bloodshed, but it was a struggle to the +death. It was no new strife, but one which has repeated itself in +human hearts since they began to beat. It cannot be avoided by +plunging into the crowds of great cities, nor by fleeing to the +solitudes of forests, for we carry our battleground with us. The +inveterate foes encamp upon the fields, and when they are not +fighting they are recuperating their strength for struggles still +to come.</p> +<p>But although neither combatant in this warfare is ever wholly +annihilated, there is in every life a Waterloo. There comes a +struggle in which, if we are not victorious, we at least remain +permanent master of the field. This was the night of David's +Waterloo. A true history of that final conflict in the soul of this +hermit would not have disgraced the confessions of Saint +Augustine!</p> +<p>He wrestled to keep his thoughts pure and his faith firm, until +the sweat stood in beads on his forehead. He felt that to yield so +much as the fraction of an inch of ground in his battle against +doubt and sin this night was to be lost! And still the conflict +went against him.</p> +<p>It turned upon another of those trivial incidents of which there +had been a series in his life. His attention was arrested by a +sound in the woods which summoned his consciousness from the inner +world of thought and feeling to the great external world of action +and endeavor. His huntsman's ear detected its significance at once, +and springing to the corner of the room he seized his rifle, threw +open the cabin door and stood on the threshold. A full moon shone +on the snow and in that white and ghostly light his quick eye +caught sight of a spectacle that made his pulses leap. A fawn +bounded out into the open field and headed for his cabin, attracted +by the firelight gleaming through the window and door. Behind her +and snapping almost at her heels, came a howling pack of a half +dozen wolves whose red, lolling tongues, white fangs and flaming +eyes were distinctly visible from where he stood. Coolly raising +his rifle he aimed at the leader and pulled the trigger. There was +a quick flash, a sharp report, and the wolf leaped high in the air, +plunged headlong, tumbled into the snow, and lay writhing in the +pangs of death.</p> +<p>There was no time to load again, and there was no need, for the +terrified fawn, impelled by the instinct of self-preservation, +chose the lesser of two dangers and with a few wild bounds toward +the cabin, flung herself through the wide-open door.</p> +<p>David had detected her purpose and stepped aside; and instantly +she had entered closed and bolted the door upon the very muzzles of +her pursuers. They dashed themselves against it and whined with +baffled rage, while the half-frantic deer crawled trembling to the +side of her preserver, licked his hands and lay at his feet gasping +for breath.</p> +<p>To some men an incident like this would have been an incident +and nothing more; but souls like Corson's perceive in every event +and experience of life, elements which lie beneath the surface.</p> +<p>Not only was he saved from the spiritual defeat of which he was +on the verge, by being summoned instantly from the subjective into +the objective world; but the rescue of the deer became a beautiful +and holy symbol of life itself, and so revealed and illustrated +life's main end "the help of the helpless,"—that he was at +once elevated from a region of struggle and despair into one of +triumph and hope. He remained in it until he fell asleep. He awoke +in it on the morrow. From that high plane he did not again descend +so low as he had been. The courage that had been kindled and the +purposes which had been crystallized by the joy of this rescue and +the gratitude of the deer remained permanently in his heart. He +lived in dreams of other acts like this, in which the objects saved +by his strength were not the beasts of the field, but the hunted +and despairing children of a heavenly Father.</p> +<p>The fawn became to him a continual reminder of this spiritual +struggle and victory, for he kept it in his cabin, made it a +companion, trained it to follow him about his work, and finally +presented it to Pepeeta.</p> +<p>There were many beautiful things to be seen in the winter woods; +snow hanging in plumes from the trees, the smoke of the cabin +curling into the still air, rabbits browsing on the low bushes, the +woodsman standing in triumph over a fallen tree; but when, on the +days of her visits to the exile, Pepeeta entered the clearing and +the deer, perceiving her approach, ran to greet her in flying +leaps, bounded around her, looked up into her face with its gentle +eyes, ate the food she offered and licked the hand of its +mistress—David thought that there was nothing more beautiful +in the world.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XXXVII" id="CHAPTER_XXXVII"></a>CHAPTER +XXXVII.</h2> +<h3>PARADISE REGAINED</h3> +<p><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"The loves that meet in +Paradise shall cast out fear,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And Paradise hath room for you +and me and all."</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">—Christina +Rossetti.</span></p> +<p>At last—the springtime came!</p> +<p>The potent energy of the sun opened all the myriad veins of the +great trees, wakened the hibernating creatures of the dens and +burrows from their protracted sleep, caused the seeds to swell and +burst in the bosom of earth, and sent the blood coursing through +David's veins, quickening all his intellectual and spiritual +powers.</p> +<p>And then, the end of his exile was near! In a few weeks he would +have vindicated the purity of his purpose to attain the divine +life, and have proved himself worthy to claim the hand of +Pepeeta!</p> +<p>All the winter long he had plied his axe. Once more, now that +the snow had vanished, he set fire to the debris which he had +strewn around him, and saw with an indescribable feeling of triumph +and delight the open soil made ready for his plow. He yoked a team +of patient oxen to it and set the sharp point deep into the black +soil. Never had the earth smelled so sweet as now when the broad +share threw it back in a continuously advancing wave. Never had +that yeoman's joy of hearing the ripping of roots and the grating +of iron against stones as the great oxen settled to their work, +strained in their yokes and dragged the plow point through the +bosom of the earth, been half so genuine and deep. It was good to +be alive, to sleep, to eat, to toil! Cities had lost their charm. +David's sin was no longer a withering and blasting, but a +chastening and restraining memory. His clearing was a kingdom, his +cabin a palace, and he was soon to have a queen! He had reserved +his sowing for the last day of his self-imposed seclusion, which +ended with the month of May.</p> +<p>On the day following, having accomplished his vow, he would go +to the house of God and claim his bride! This day he would devote +to that solemn function of scattering the sacred seed of life's +chief support into the open furrow!</p> +<p>No wonder a feeling of devotion and awe came upon him as he +prepared himself for his task; for perhaps there is not a single +act in the whole economy of life better calculated to stir a +thoughtful mind to its profoundest depths than the sowing of those +golden grains which have within them the promise and potency of +life. Year after year, century after century, millions of men have +gone forth in the light of the all-beholding and life-giving sun to +cast into the bosom of the earth the sustenance of their children! +It is a sublime act of faith, and this sacrifice of a present for a +future good, an actual for a potential blessing, is no less +beautiful and holy because familiar and old. The Divine Master +himself could not contemplate it without emotion and was inspired +by it to the utterance of one of his grandest parables.</p> +<p>And then the field itself inspired solemn reflections and noble +pride in the mind of the sower. It was his own! He had carved it +out of a wilderness! Here was soil which had never been opened to +the daylight. Here was ground which perhaps for a thousand, and not +unlikely for ten thousand years, should bring forth seed to the +sower; and he had cleared it with his own hands! Generations and +centuries after he should have died and been forgotten, men would +go forth into this field as he was doing to-day, to sow their seed +and reap their harvests.</p> +<p>He slung his bag of grain over his shoulder and stepped forth +from his cabin at the dawn of day. The clearing he had made was an +almost perfect circle. All around it were the green walls of the +forest with the great trunks of the beeches, white and symmetrical, +standing like vast Corinthian columns supporting a green frieze +upon which rested the lofty roof of the immense cathedral. From the +organ-loft the music of the morning breeze resounded, and from the +choirs the sweet antiphonals of birds. Odors of pine, of balsam, of +violets, of peppermint, of fresh-plowed earth, of bursting life, +were wafted across the vast nave from transept to transept, and +floated like incense up to heaven.</p> +<p>The priest, about to offer his sacrifice, the sacrifice of a +broken heart and contrite spirit, about to confess his faith; in +the beautiful and symbolic act of sacrificing the present for the +future, stepped forth into the open furrow.</p> +<p>His open countenance, bronzed with the sun, was lighted with +love and adoration; his lips smiled; his eyes glowed; he lifted +them to the heavens in an unspoken prayer for the benediction of +the great life-giver; he drew into his nostrils the sweet odors, +into his lungs the pure air, into his soul the beauty and glory of +the world, and then, filling his hand with the golden grain, he +flung it into the bosom of the waiting earth.</p> +<p>All day long he strode across the clearing and with rhythmical +swinging of his brawny arm lavishly scattered the golden grain.</p> +<p>As the sun went down and the sower neared the conclusion of his +labor, his emotions became deeper and yet more deep. He entered +more and more fully into the true spirit and significance of his +act. He felt that it was a sacrament. Thoughts of the operation of +the mighty energies which he was evoking; of the Divine spirit who +brooded over all; of the coming into this wilderness of the woman +who was to be the good angel of his life; of the ceremony that was +to be enacted in the little meeting house; of the work to which he +was dedicated in the future, kindled his soul into an ecstasy of +joy. He ceased to be conscious of his present task. The material +world loosened its hold upon his senses. His thoughts became +riveted upon the elements of that spiritual universe that lay +within and around him, and that seemed uncovered to his view as to +the apostle of old. "Whether he was in the body, or out of the +body, he could not tell!" Finally he ceased to move; his hand was +arrested and hung poised in mid-air with the unscattered seed in +its palm; he eyes were fixed on some invisible object and he stood +as he had stood when we first caught sight of him in the +half-plowed meadow—lost in a trance.</p> +<p>How long he stood he never knew, but he was wakened, at last, as +it was natural and fitting he should be.</p> +<p>Fulfilling her agreement to come and bring him home on the eve +of their wedding day, Pepeeta emerged like a beautiful apparition +from an opening in the green wall of the great cathedral. She saw +David standing immovable in the furrow. For a few moments she was +absorbed in admiration of the grace and beauty of the noble and +commanding figure, and then she was thrilled with the consciousness +that she possessed the priceless treasure of his love. But these +emotions were followed by a holy awe as she discovered that the +soul of her lover was filled with religious ecstasy. She felt that +the place whereon she stood was holy ground, and reverently awaited +the emergence of the worshiper from the holy of holies into which +he had withdrawn for prayer.</p> +<p>But the rapture lasted long and it was growing late. The shadows +from the summits of the hills had already crept across the clearing +and were silently ascending the trunks of the trees on the eastern +side. It was time for them to go. She took a step toward him, and +then another, moving slowly, reverently, and touched him on the +arm. He started. The half-closed hand relaxed and the seed fell to +the ground, the dreamer woke and descended from the heaven of the +spiritual world into that of the earthly, the heart of a pure and +noble woman.</p> +<p>"I have come," she said simply.</p> +<p>He took her in his arms and kissed her.</p> +<p>"Thee is not through yet?"</p> +<p>"So it seems! I must have lost myself."</p> +<p>"I think thee rather found thyself."</p> +<p>"Perhaps I did; but I must finish my labor. It will never do for +me to let my visions supplant my tasks. They will be hurtful, save +as incentives to toil. I must be careful!"</p> +<p>"Let me help thee. There are only a few more furrows. I am sure +that I can sow," she said, extending her hand.</p> +<p>He placed some of the seed in her apron and she trudged by his +side, laughing at her awkwardness but laboring with all her might. +Her lover took her hand in his and showed her how to cast the seed, +and so they labored together until every open furrow was filled. It +was dark when they were done. They lingered a little while to put +the cabin in order, and then turned their faces towards the old +farmhouse.</p> +<p>The two little brooks were singing their evening song as they +mingled their waters together in front of that wilderness home. The +lovers stood a moment at their point of junction, as Pepeeta said, +"It is a symbol of our lives." They listened to the low murmur, +watched the crystal stream as it sparkled in the moonlight, stole +away into the distance, chanting its own melodious lay of love. It +led them out of the clearing and into the depths of the forest. +They moved like spirits passing through a land of dreams. The +palpable world seemed stripped of its reality. The creatures that +stole across their path or started up as they passed, the crickets +that chirped their little idyls at the roots of the great trees, +the fire-flies that kindled their evanescent fires among the +bushes, the night owls that hooted solemnly in the tree tops, the +rustle of the leaves in the evening breeze, the gurgle of the +waters over the stones in the bed of the brook, their own muffled +footfalls, the patches of moonlight that lay like silver mats on +the brown carpet of the woods, the flickering shadows, the ghostly +trunks of the trees, the slowly swaying, plume-like branches, +sounded only like faint echoes or gleamed only like soft +reflections of a fairy world!</p> +<p>"It was here," Pepeeta said, pausing at the roots of a great +beech tree, "that I came the day after we had first seen each +other, to inquire of the gypsy goddess the secrets of the future. I +have learned many lessons since!"</p> +<p>"It was here," said David, as they emerged from the forest into +the larger valley, "that thee stood, a little way from the doctor's +side, stroking the necks of his horses and peeping at us stealthily +from under thy long dark lashes on the day when he tried to +persuade me to join him in his roving life."</p> +<p>"It was here," Pepeeta said, as they approached the little +bridge, "that we met each other and yielded our hearts to +love."</p> +<p>"And met again after our tragedy and our suffering, to find that +love is eternal," David added.</p> +<p>They stood for a few moments in silence, recalling that bitter +past, and then the man of many sins and sorrows said, "Give me thy +hand, Pepeeta. How small it seems in mine. Let me fold thee in my +arms; it makes my heart bound to feel thee there! We have walked +over rough roads together, and the path before us may not be always +smooth. We have tasted the bitter cup between us, and there may +still be dregs at the bottom. It is hard to believe that after all +the wrong we have done we can still be happy. God is surely good! +It seems to me that we must have our feet on the right path. He +paused for a moment and then continued:</p> +<p>"I have brought thee many sorrows, sweetheart."</p> +<p>"And many joys."</p> +<p>"I mean to bring thee some in the future! The love I bear thee +now is different from that of the past. I cannot wait until +to-morrow to pledge thee my troth! Listen!"</p> +<p>She did so, gazing up into his face with dark eyes in which the +light of the moon was reflected as in mountain lakes. There was +something in them which filled his heart with unutterable emotion, +and his words hung quivering upon his lips.</p> +<p>"Speak, my love, for I am listening," she said.</p> +<p>"I cannot," he replied.</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>A LIST OF RECENT FICTION OF THE BOWEN-MERRILL COMPANY</h2> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ONE QUARTER MILLION COPIES</h2> +<p>Have been sold of this great historical love-story of Princess +Mary Tudor, sister of Henry VIII Price, $1.50</p> +<p>WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER</p> +<p>ASK YOUR BOOKSELLER FOR IT</p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>A VIVACIOUS ROMANCE OF REVOLUTIONARY DAYS</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>ALICE OF OLD VINCENNES</p> +<p>By MAURICE THOMPSON</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>Mr. Thompson, whose delightful writings in prose and verse have +made his reputation national has achieved his master stroke of +genius in this historical novel of revolutionary days in +Indiana.—<i>The Atlanta Constitution</i>.</p> +<p>There are three great chapters of fiction: Scott's tournament on +Ashby field, General Wallace's chariot race, and now Maurice +Thompson's duel scene and the raising of Alice's flag over old Fort +Vincennes.—<i>Denver Daily News</i>.</p> +<p>More original than "Richard Carvel," more cohesive than "To Have +and to Hold," more vital than "Janice Meredith," such is Maurice +Thompson's superb American romance, "Alice of Old Vincennes." It is +in addition, more artistic and spontaneous than any of its +rivals.—<i>Chicago Times-Herald</i>.</p> +<p>12 mo. with five illustrations and a frontispiece in color, +drawn by F.C. Yohn,</p> +<p>Price $1.50</p> +<p><i>The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>SWEEPERS <i>of the</i> SEA</h2> +<p><i>The Story of a Strange Navy</i></p> +<p>By CLAUDE H. WETMORE</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>[From the <i>St. Louis Mirror</i>.]</p> +<p>The recital of the deeds of the "Sweepers of the Sea" is a +breathless one.</p> +<p>The romance is heightened by the realism of the technique of +naval warfare, by the sureness and voluminosity of nautical +knowledge.</p> +<p>Imaginary sea fights are told with all the particularity of real +events, and at the same time the descriptions have a breezy swing +that hurries the reader along to most startling catastrophes.</p> +<p>Much of the material is evidently worked over from actual fact +into the texture of romance.</p> +<p>The romance is evidently modern in action, but the motives are +the grand and noble motives of a mysterious and splendid antiquity. +The decendants of the Incas, moved by the Inca traditions, are not +at all out of harmony with modern war-ships, or with a very modern +war-correspondent, who is touched up a little to heroic +proportions.</p> +<p>The book is pleasurable all the way through, and some of the +descriptive passages are specimens of first-class writing. The work +bears every evidence of having been carefully done, and yet the +story reels off as naturally and easily as if it were a running +record of fact.</p> +<p>That the general public will take to the book is a safe +conclusion. It is just different enough from the ordinary, romantic +novel to be essentially new.</p> +<p>Illustrated Price, $1.50</p> +<p>The Bowen-Merrill Company, <i>Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>THE STORY OF AN AMERICAN CRUCIFIXION</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>THE PENITENTES</p> +<p>By LOUIS HOW.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>To describe the customs of this band of intensely religious +people without laying on the color too thickly and without +melodramatic exaggeration, to retain all the color and +picturesqueness of the original scene without excess, was the +difficult task which Mr. How had to accomplish, and it is one which +he has done well.—<i>Chicago Record</i>.</p> +<p>"The Penitentes" abounds in dramatic possibilities. It is full +of action, warm color, and variety. The denouement at the little +church of San Rafael, when the soldiers surprise the Penitentes at +mass in the early dawn of their fete day, appeals strongly to the +dramatizer.—<i>Chicago Tribune</i>.</p> +<p>Mr. How has done a truly remarkable piece of work * * * any +hand, however practiced, might well be proud of the marvelously +good descriptions, the dramatic, highly unusual story, the able +characterizations. If "The Penitentes" does not make its author +notable it will not be for lack of every "promising" +condition.— <i>The Interior</i>.</p> +<p>12 mo. Cloth, ornamental Price $1.50 <i>The Bowen-Merrill +Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>A STORY OF THE MORGAN RAID, DURING THE WAR OF THE +REBELLION</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>THE LEGIONARIES</p> +<p>By HENRY SCOTT CLARK.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>"The Legionaries" is pervaded with what seems to be the true +spirit of artistic impartiality. The hero, to be sure, is a +secessionist, but the author, at least in this book, is simply a +narrator. He stands aside, regarding with equal eye all the issues +involved and the scales dip not in his hands. To sum up, the first +romance of the new day on the Ohio is an eminently readable +one—a good yarn well spun.—<i>Cincinnati Commercial +Tribune</i>.</p> +<p>The appearance of a new novel in the west marks an epoch in +fiction relating to the war between the sections for the +preservation of the Union. "The Legionaries," by an anonymous +writer, said to be a prominent lawyer of the Hoosier state, +concerns the raid made by the intrepid Morgan through the +southeastern corner of Indiana, through lower Ohio and to the +borders of West Virginia, where his depleted command ran into a +trap set by the federal authorities. It is a remarkable book, and +we can scarcely credit the assurance that it is the work of a new +writer.—<i>Rochester Herald</i>.</p> +<p>The scene is laid in Kentucky and Indiana, and the backbone of +the story is Morgan's great raid—one of the most romantic and +reckless pieces of adventure ever attempted in the history of the +world. Mr. Clark's description of the "Ride of the Three Thousand" +is a piece of literature that deserves to live; and is as fine in +its way as the chariot race from "Ben Hur."—<i>Memphis +Commercial Appeal</i>.</p> +<p>12 mo. Illustrated Price $1.50</p> +<p><i>The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL HISTORICAL NOVEL</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>The Black Wolf's Breed</p> +<p>BY HARRIS DICKSON.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>A vigorous tale of France in the old and new world during the +reign of Louis XIV.—<i>Boston Globe</i>.</p> +<p>As delightfully seductive as certain mint-flavored beverages +they make down South.—<i>Philadelphia Press</i>.</p> +<p>The sword-play is great, even finer than the pictures in "Two +Have and To Hold."—<i>Los Angeles Herald</i>.</p> +<p>As fine a piece of sustained adventure as has appeared in recent +fiction.—<i>San Francisco Chronicle</i>.</p> +<p>There is action, vivid description and intensely dramatic +situations.—<i>St. Louis Globe-Democrat</i>.</p> +<p>So full of tender love-making, of gallant fighting that one +regrets it's no longer.—<i>Indianapolis News</i>.</p> +<p>12 mo., Illustrated by C.M. Relyea,</p> +<p>Price $1.50</p> +<p><i>The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>A FINE STORY <i>of the</i> COWBOY AT HIS BEST.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>WITH HOOPS OF STEEL</p> +<p>By FLORENCE FINCH KELLY.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p><i>"The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple +them to thy soul With Hoops of Steel."</i></p> +<p>"With Hoops of Steel," is issued in handsome style, with several +striking pictures in colors by Dan Smith, by The Bowen-Merrill +Company of Indianapolis, a Western publishing house that has a long +record of recent successes in fiction. This firm seems to tell by +instinct what the public wants to read, and in Mrs. Kelly's case it +is safe to say that no mistake has been made. Western men and women +will read because it paints faithfully the life which they know so +well, and because it gives us three big, manly fellows, fine types +of the cowboy at his best. Eastern readers will be attracted by its +splendid realism.—<i>San Francisco Chronicle</i>.</p> +<p>Mrs. Kelly's character stands out from the background of the New +Mexican plains, desert and mountain with all the distinctness of a +Remington sketch or of the striking colored illustrations drawn for +the book by Dan Smith. It is not alone in the superb local coloring +or the vivid character work that "With Hoops of Steel" is a notable +book. The incidents are admirably described and full of interest, +and the movement of the story is continuous and vigorous. The +action is spirited and the climaxes dramatic. The plot is cleverly +devised and carefully unfolded. After finishing the book one feels +that he has just seen the country, has mingled with the characters +and has been a witness of the incidents described.—<i>Denver +Times</i>.</p> +<p>12 mo. with six illustrations, in color, by Dan Smith</p> +<p>Price, $1.50</p> +<p><i>The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>A NOVEL OF EARLY NEW YORK</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>PATROON VAN VOLKENBERG</p> +<p>BY HENRY THEW STEPHENSON.</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>The action of the story begins when New York was a little city +of less than 5,000 inhabitants. The conflict between the +law-abiding citizens, led by the Governor, Earl Bellamont, and the +merchants, headed by Patroon Van Volkenberg, is at its height.</p> +<p>The Governor has forbidden the port to the free traders or +pirate ships, which infested the Atlantic and sailed boldly under +their own flag; while the Patroon and his merchant colleagues not +only traded openly with the buccaneers, but owned and managed such +illicit craft.</p> +<p>The atmosphere of the tale is fresh in fiction, the plot is +stirring and well knit, and the author is possessed of the ability +to write forceful, fragrant English.</p> +<p>12 mo., Illustrated in color</p> +<p>by C.M. Relyea, Price $1.50</p> +<p><i>The Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis</i></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><i>FUN FROM BOB BURDETTE</i>.</h2> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>Chimes From a Jester's Bells</p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> +<p>A volume of humorous and pathetic stories and sketches. By +Robert J. Burdette. 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