diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/allyr10.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/allyr10.txt | 2752 |
1 files changed, 2752 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/allyr10.txt b/old/allyr10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c3bea3a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/allyr10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2752 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext of Contributions to: All The Year Round +#48 in our series by Charles Dickens + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. We need your donations. + +Contributions to All The Year Round + +by Charles Dickens + +September, 1998 [Etext #1464] + + +Project Gutenberg Etext of Contributions to: All The Year Round +******This file should be named allyr10.txt or allyr10.zip****** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, allyr11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, allyr10a.txt + +This etext was prepared from the 1912 Gresham Publishing Company +edition by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + +Project Gutenberg Etexts are usually created from multiple editions, +all of which are in the Public Domain in the United States, unless a +copyright notice is included. Therefore, we do NOT keep these books +in compliance with any particular paper edition, usually otherwise. + + +We are now trying to release all our books one month in advance +of the official release dates, for time for better editing. + +Please note: neither this list nor its contents are final till +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. To be sure you have an +up to date first edition [xxxxx10x.xxx] please check file sizes +in the first week of the next month. Since our ftp program has +a bug in it that scrambles the date [tried to fix and failed] a +look at the file size will have to do, but we will try to see a +new copy has at least one byte more or less. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +fifty hours is one conservative estimate for how long it we take +to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. This +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If our value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour this year as we release thirty-two text +files per month, or 384 more Etexts in 1998 for a total of 1500+ +If these reach just 10% of the computerized population, then the +total should reach over 150 billion Etexts given away. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext +Files by the December 31, 2001. [10,000 x 100,000,000=Trillion] +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only 10% of the present number of computer users. 2001 +should have at least twice as many computer users as that, so it +will require us reaching less than 5% of the users in 2001. + + +We need your donations more than ever! + + +All donations should be made to "Project Gutenberg/CMU": and are +tax deductible to the extent allowable by law. (CMU = Carnegie- +Mellon University). + +For these and other matters, please mail to: + +Project Gutenberg +P. O. Box 2782 +Champaign, IL 61825 + +When all other email fails try our Executive Director: +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +We would prefer to send you this information by email +(Internet, Bitnet, Compuserve, ATTMAIL or MCImail). + +****** +If you have an FTP program (or emulator), please +FTP directly to the Project Gutenberg archives: +[Mac users, do NOT point and click. . .type] + +ftp uiarchive.cso.uiuc.edu +login: anonymous +password: your@login +cd etext/etext90 through /etext96 +or cd etext/articles [get suggest gut for more information] +dir [to see files] +get or mget [to get files. . .set bin for zip files] +GET INDEX?00.GUT +for a list of books +and +GET NEW GUT for general information +and +MGET GUT* for newsletters. + +**Information prepared by the Project Gutenberg legal advisor** +(Three Pages) + + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you can distribute copies of this etext if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this etext on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG- +tm etexts, is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor +Michael S. Hart through the Project Gutenberg Association at +Carnegie-Mellon University (the "Project"). Among other +things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext +under the Project's "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] the Project (and any other party you may receive this +etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold the Project, its directors, +officers, members and agents harmless from all liability, cost +and expense, including legal fees, that arise directly or +indirectly from any of the following that you do or cause: +[1] distribution of this etext, [2] alteration, modification, +or addition to the etext, or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + etext or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word pro- + cessing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the etext (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Project of 20% of the + net profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association/Carnegie-Mellon + University" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Carnegie-Mellon University". + +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +This etext was prepared from the 1912 Gresham Publishing Company +edition by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + + +Contributions to All The Year Round by Charles Dickens + + + + +Contents: + + +Announcement in "Household Words" +The Poor Man and his Beer +Five New Points of Criminal Law +Leigh Hunt: A Remonstrance +The Tattlesnivel Bleater +The Young Man from the Country +An Enlightened Clergyman +Rather a Strong Dose +The Martyr Medium +The Late Mr. Stanfield +A Slight Question of Fact +Landor's Life +Address which appeared shortly previous to the completion of the +20th volume + + + +ANNOUNCEMENT IN "HOUSEHOLD WORDS" OF THE APPROACHING PUBLICATION OF +"ALL THE YEAR ROUND" + + + +After the appearance of the present concluding Number of Household +Words, this publication will merge into the new weekly publication, +All the Year Round, and the title, Household Words, will form a part +of the title-page of All the Year Round. + +The Prospectus of the latter Journal describes it in these words: + + +"ADDRESS + + +"Nine years of Household Words, are the best practical assurance +that can be offered to the public, of the spirit and objects of All +the Year Round. + +"In transferring myself, and my strongest energies, from the +publication that is about to be discontinued, to the publication +that is about to be begun, I have the happiness of taking with me +the staff of writers with whom I have laboured, and all the literary +and business co-operation that can make my work a pleasure. In some +important respects, I am now free greatly to advance on past +arrangements. Those, I leave to testify for themselves in due +course. + +"That fusion of the graces of the imagination with the realities of +life, which is vital to the welfare of any community, and for which +I have striven from week to week as honestly as I could during the +last nine years, will continue to be striven for "all the year +round". The old weekly cares and duties become things of the Past, +merely to be assumed, with an increased love for them and brighter +hopes springing out of them, in the Present and the Future. + +"I look, and plan, for a very much wider circle of readers, and yet +again for a steadily expanding circle of readers, in the projects I +hope to carry through "all the year round". And I feel confident +that this expectation will be realized, if it deserve realization. + +"The task of my new journal is set, and it will steadily try to work +the task out. Its pages shall show to what good purpose their motto +is remembered in them, and with how much of fidelity and earnestness +they tell + +"the story of our lives from year to year. + +"CHARLES DICKENS." + + +Since this was issued, the Journal itself has come into existence, +and has spoken for itself five weeks. Its fifth Number is published +to-day, and its circulation, moderately stated, trebles that now +relinquished in Household Words. + +In referring our readers, henceforth, to All the Year Round, we can +but assure them afresh, of our unwearying and faithful service, in +what is at once the work and the chief pleasure of our life. +Through all that we are doing, and through all that we design to do, +our aim is to do our best in sincerity of purpose, and true devotion +of spirit. + +We do not for a moment suppose that we may lean on the character of +these pages, and rest contented at the point where they stop. We +see in that point but a starting-place for our new journey; and on +that journey, with new prospects opening out before us everywhere, +we joyfully proceed, entreating our readers--without any of the pain +of leave-taking incidental to most journeys--to bear us company All +the year round. + +Saturday, May 28, 1859. + + + +THE POOR MAN AND HIS BEER + + + +My friend Philosewers and I, contemplating a farm-labourer the other +day, who was drinking his mug of beer on a settle at a roadside ale- +house door, we fell to humming the fag-end of an old ditty, of which +the poor man and his beer, and the sin of parting them, form the +doleful burden. Philosewers then mentioned to me that a friend of +his in an agricultural county--say a Hertfordshire friend--had, for +two years last past, endeavoured to reconcile the poor man and his +beer to public morality, by making it a point of honour between +himself and the poor man that the latter should use his beer and not +abuse it. Interested in an effort of so unobtrusive and +unspeechifying a nature, "O Philosewers," said I, after the manner +of the dreary sages in Eastern apologues, "Show me, I pray, the man +who deems that temperance can be attained without a medal, an +oration, a banner, and a denunciation of half the world, and who has +at once the head and heart to set about it!" + +Philosewers expressing, in reply, his willingness to gratify the +dreary sage, an appointment was made for the purpose. And on the +day fixed, I, the Dreary one, accompanied by Philosewers, went down +Nor'-West per railway, in search of temperate temperance. It was a +thunderous day; and the clouds were so immoderately watery, and so +very much disposed to sour all the beer in Hertfordshire, that they +seemed to have taken the pledge. + +But, the sun burst forth gaily in the afternoon, and gilded the old +gables, and old mullioned windows, and old weathercock and old +clock-face, of the quaint old house which is the dwelling of the man +we sought. How shall I describe him? As one of the most famous +practical chemists of the age? That designation will do as well as +another--better, perhaps, than most others. And his name? Friar +Bacon. + +"Though, take notice, Philosewers," said I, behind my hand, "that +the first Friar Bacon had not that handsome lady-wife beside him. +Wherein, O Philosewers, he was a chemist, wretched and forlorn, +compared with his successor. Young Romeo bade the holy father +Lawrence hang up philosophy, unless philosophy could make a Juliet. +Chemistry would infallibly be hanged if its life were staked on +making anything half so pleasant as this Juliet." The gentle +Philosewers smiled assent. + +The foregoing whisper from myself, the Dreary one, tickled the ear +of Philosewers, as we walked on the trim garden terrace before +dinner, among the early leaves and blossoms; two peacocks, +apparently in very tight new boots, occasionally crossing the gravel +at a distance. The sun, shining through the old house-windows, now +and then flashed out some brilliant piece of colour from bright +hangings within, or upon the old oak panelling; similarly, Friar +Bacon, as we paced to and fro, revealed little glimpses of his good +work. + +"It is not much," said he. "It is no wonderful thing. There used +to be a great deal of drunkenness here, and I wanted to make it +better if I could. The people are very ignorant, and have been much +neglected, and I wanted to make THAT better, if I could. My utmost +object was, to help them to a little self-government and a little +homely pleasure. I only show the way to better things, and advise +them. I never act for them; I never interfere; above all, I never +patronise." + +I had said to Philosewers as we came along Nor'-West that patronage +was one of the curses of England; I appeared to rise in the +estimation of Philosewers when thus confirmed. + +"And so," said Friar Bacon, "I established my Allotment-club, and my +pig-clubs, and those little Concerts by the ladies of my own family, +of which we have the last of the season this evening. They are a +great success, for the people here are amazingly fond of music. But +there is the early dinner-bell, and I have no need to talk of my +endeavours when you will soon see them in their working dress". + +Dinner done, behold the Friar, Philosewers, and myself the Dreary +one, walking, at six o'clock, across the fields, to the "Club- +house." + +As we swung open the last field-gate and entered the Allotment- +grounds, many members were already on their way to the Club, which +stands in the midst of the allotments. Who could help thinking of +the wonderful contrast between these club-men and the club-men of +St. James's Street, or Pall Mall, in London! Look at yonder +prematurely old man, doubled up with work, and leaning on a rude +stick more crooked than himself, slowly trudging to the club-house, +in a shapeless hat like an Italian harlequin's, or an old brown- +paper bag, leathern leggings, and dull green smock-frock, looking as +though duck-weed had accumulated on it--the result of its stagnant +life--or as if it were a vegetable production, originally meant to +blow into something better, but stopped somehow. Compare him with +Old Cousin Feenix, ambling along St. James's Street, got up in the +style of a couple of generations ago, and with a head of hair, a +complexion, and a set of teeth, profoundly impossible to be believed +in by the widest stretch of human credulity. Can they both be men +and brothers? Verily they are. And although Cousin Feenix has +lived so fast that he will die at Baden-Baden, and although this +club-man in the frock has lived, ever since he came to man's estate, +on nine shillings a week, and is sure to die in the Union if he die +in bed, yet he brought as much into the world as Cousin Feenix, and +will take as much out--more, for more of him is real. + +A pretty, simple building, the club-house, with a rustic colonnade +outside, under which the members can sit on wet evenings, looking at +the patches of ground they cultivate for themselves; within, a well- +ventilated room, large and lofty, cheerful pavement of coloured +tiles, a bar for serving out the beer, good supply of forms and +chairs, and a brave big chimney-corner, where the fire burns +cheerfully. Adjoining this room, another: + +"Built for a reading-room," said Friar Bacon; "but not much used-- +yet." + +The dreary sage, looking in through the window, perceiving a fixed +reading-desk within, and inquiring its use: + +"I have Service there," said Friar Bacon. "They never went anywhere +to hear prayers, and of course it would be hopeless to help them to +be happier and better, if they had no religious feeling at all." + +"The whole place is very pretty." Thus the sage. + +"I am glad you think so. I built it for the holders of the +Allotment-grounds, and gave it them: only requiring them to manage +it by a committee of their own appointing, and never to get drunk +there. They never have got drunk there." + +"Yet they have their beer freely?" + +"O yes. As much as they choose to buy. The club gets its beer +direct from the brewer, by the barrel. So they get it good; at once +much cheaper, and much better, than at the public-house. The +members take it in turns to be steward, and serve out the beer: if +a man should decline to serve when his turn came, he would pay a +fine of twopence. The steward lasts, as long as the barrel lasts. +When there is a new barrel, there is a new steward." + +"What a noble fire is roaring up that chimney!" + +"Yes, a capital fire. Every member pays a halfpenny a week." + +"Every member must be the holder of an Allotment-garden?" + +"Yes; for which he pays five shillings a year. The Allotments you +see about us, occupy some sixteen or eighteen acres, and each garden +is as large as experience shows one man to be able to manage. You +see how admirably they are tilled, and how much they get off them. +They are always working in them in their spare hours; and when a man +wants a mug of beer, instead of going off to the village and the +public-house, he puts down his spade or his hoe, comes to the club- +house and gets it, and goes back to his work. When he has done +work, he likes to have his beer at the club, still, and to sit and +look at his little crops as they thrive." + +"They seem to manage the club very well." + +"Perfectly well. Here are their own rules. They made them. I +never interfere with them, except to advise them when they ask me." + + +RULES AND REGULATIONS +MADE BY THE COMMITTEE +From the 21st September, 1857 + +One half-penny per week to be paid to the club by each member + +1.--Each member to draw the beer in order, according to the number +of his allotment; on failing, a forfeit of twopence to be paid to +the club. + +2.--The member that draws the beer to pay for the same, and bring +his ticket up receipted when the subscriptions are paid; on failing +to do so, a penalty of sixpence to be forfeited and paid to the +club. + +3.--The subscriptions and forfeits to be paid at the club-room on +the last Saturday night of each month. + +4.--The subscriptions and forfeits to be cleared up every quarter; +if not, a penalty of sixpence to be paid to the club. + +5.--The member that draws the beer to be at the club-room by six +o'clock every evening, and stay till ten; but in the event of no +member being there, he may leave at nine; on failing so to attend, a +penalty of sixpence to be paid to the club. + +6.--Any member giving beer to a stranger in this club-room, +excepting to his wife or family, shall be liable to the penalty of +one shilling. + +7.--Any member lifting his hand to strike another in this club-room +shall be liable to the penalty of sixpence. + +8.--Any member swearing in this club-room shall be liable to a +penalty of twopence each time. + +9.--Any member selling beer shall be expelled from the club. + +10.--Any member wishing to give up his allotment, may apply to the +committee, and they shall value the crop and the condition of the +ground. The amount of the valuation shall be paid by the succeeding +tenant, who shall be allowed to enter on any part of the allotment +which is uncropped at the time of notice of the leaving tenant. + +11.--Any member not keeping his allotment-garden clear from seed- +weeds, or otherwise injuring his neighbours, may be turned out of +his garden by the votes of two-thirds of the committee, one month's +notice being given to him. + +12.--Any member carelessly breaking a mug, is to pay the cost of +replacing the same. + + +I was soliciting the attention of Philosewers to some old old +bonnets hanging in the Allotment-gardens to frighten the birds, and +the fashion of which I should think would terrify a French bird to +death at any distance, when Philosewers solicited my attention to +the scrapers at the club-house door. The amount of the soil of +England which every member brought there on his feet, was indeed +surprising; and even I, who am professedly a salad-eater, could have +grown a salad for my dinner, in the earth on any member's frock or +hat. + +"Now," said Friar Bacon, looking at his watch, "for the Pig-clubs!" + +The dreary Sage entreated explanation. + +"Why, a pig is so very valuable to a poor labouring man, and it is +so very difficult for him at this time of the year to get money +enough to buy one, that I lend him a pound for the purpose. But, I +do it in this way. I leave such of the club members as choose it +and desire it, to form themselves into parties of five. To every +man in each company of five, I lend a pound, to buy a pig. But, +each man of the five becomes bound for every other man, as to the +repayment of his money. Consequently, they look after one another, +and pick out their partners with care; selecting men in whom they +have confidence." + +"They repay the money, I suppose, when the pig is fattened, killed, +and sold?" + +"Yes. Then they repay the money. And they do repay it. I had one +man, last year, who was a little tardy (he was in the habit of going +to the public-house); but even he did pay. It is an immense +Advantage to one of these poor fellows to have a pig. The pig +consumes the refuse from the man's cottage and allotment-garden, and +the pig's refuse enriches the man's garden besides. The pig is the +poor man's friend. Come into the club-house again." + +The poor man's friend. Yes. I have often wondered who really was +the poor man's friend among a great number of competitors, and I now +clearly perceive him to be the pig. HE never makes any flourishes +about the poor man. HE never gammons the poor man--except to his +manifest advantage in the article of bacon. HE never comes down to +this house, or goes down to his constituents. He openly declares to +the poor man, "I want my sty because I am a Pig. I desire to have +as much to eat as you can by any means stuff me with, because I am a +Pig." HE never gives the poor man a sovereign for bringing up a +family. HE never grunts the poor man's name in vain. And when he +dies in the odour of Porkity, he cuts up, a highly useful creature +and a blessing to the poor man, from the ring in his snout to the +curl in his tail. Which of the poor man's other friends can say as +much? Where is the M.P. who means Mere Pork? + +The dreary Sage had glided into these reflections, when he found +himself sitting by the club-house fire, surrounded by green smock- +frocks and shapeless hats: with Friar Bacon lively, busy, and +expert, at a little table near him. + +"Now, then, come. The first five!" said Friar Bacon. "Where are +you?" + +"Order!" cried a merry-faced little man, who had brought his young +daughter with him to see life, and who always modestly hid his face +in his beer-mug after he had thus assisted the business. + +"John Nightingale, William Thrush, Joseph Blackbird, Cecil Robin, +and Thomas Linnet!" cried Friar Bacon. + +"Here, sir!" and "Here, sir!" And Linnet, Robin, Blackbird, Thrush, +and Nightingale, stood confessed. + +We, the undersigned, declare, in effect, by this written paper, that +each of us is responsible for the repayment of this pig-money by +each of the other. "Sure you understand, Nightingale?" + +"Ees, sur." + +"Can you write your name, Nightingale?" + +"Na, sur." + +Nightingale's eye upon his name, as Friar Bacon wrote it, was a +sight to consider in after years. Rather incredulous was +Nightingale, with a hand at the corner of his mouth, and his head on +one side, as to those drawings really meaning him. Doubtful was +Nightingale whether any virtue had gone out of him in that committal +to paper. Meditative was Nightingale as to what would come of young +Nightingale's growing up to the acquisition of that art. Suspended +was the interest of Nightingale, when his name was done--as if he +thought the letters were only sown, to come up presently in some +other form. Prodigious, and wrong-handed was the cross made by +Nightingale on much encouragement--the strokes directed from him +instead of towards him; and most patient and sweet-humoured was the +smile of Nightingale as he stepped back into a general laugh. + +"Order!" cried the little man. Immediately disappearing into his +mug. + +"Ralph Mangel, Roger Wurzel, Edward Vetches, Matthew Carrot, and +Charles Taters!" said Friar Bacon. + +"All here, sir." + +"You understand it, Mangel?" + +"Iss, sir, I unnerstaans it." + +"Can you write your name, Mangel?" + +"Iss, sir." + +Breathless interest. A dense background of smock-frocks accumulated +behind Mangel, and many eyes in it looked doubtfully at Friar Bacon, +as who should say, "Can he really though?" Mangel put down his hat, +retired a little to get a good look at the paper, wetted his right +hand thoroughly by drawing it slowly across his mouth, approached +the paper with great determination, flattened it, sat down at it, +and got well to his work. Circuitous and sea-serpent-like, were the +movements of the tongue of Mangel while he formed the letters; +elevated were the eyebrows of Mangel and sidelong the eyes, as, with +his left whisker reposing on his left arm, they followed his +performance; many were the misgivings of Mangel, and slow was his +retrospective meditation touching the junction of the letter p with +h; something too active was the big forefinger of Mangel in its +propensity to rub out without proved cause. At last, long and deep +was the breath drawn by Mangel when he laid down the pen; long and +deep the wondering breath drawn by the background--as if they had +watched his walking across the rapids of Niagara, on stilts, and now +cried, "He has done it!" + +But, Mangel was an honest man, if ever honest man lived. "T'owt to +be a hell, sir," said he, contemplating his work, "and I ha' made a +t on 't." + +The over-fraught bosoms of the background found relief in a roar of +laughter. + +"OR-DER!" cried the little man. "CHEER!" And after that second +word, came forth from his mug no more. + +Several other clubs signed, and received their money. Very few +could write their names; all who could not, pleaded that they could +not, more or less sorrowfully, and always with a shake of the head, +and in a lower voice than their natural speaking voice. Crosses +could be made standing; signatures must be sat down to. There was +no exception to this rule. Meantime, the various club-members +smoked, drank their beer, and talked together quite unrestrained. +They all wore their hats, except when they went up to Friar Bacon's +table. The merry-faced little man offered his beer, with a natural +good-fellowship, both to the Dreary one and Philosewers. Both +partook of it with thanks. + +"Seven o'clock!" said Friar Bacon. "And now we better get across to +the concert, men, for the music will be beginning." + +The concert was in Friar Bacon's laboratory; a large building near +at hand, in an open field. The bettermost people of the village and +neighbourhood were in a gallery on one side, and, in a gallery +opposite the orchestra. The whole space below was filled with the +labouring people and their families, to the number of five or six +hundred. We had been obliged to turn away two hundred to-night, +Friar Bacon said, for want of room--and that, not counting the boys, +of whom we had taken in only a few picked ones, by reason of the +boys, as a class, being given to too fervent a custom of applauding +with their boot-heels. + +The performers were the ladies of Friar Bacon's family, and two +gentlemen; one of them, who presided, a Doctor of Music. A piano +was the only instrument. Among the vocal pieces, we had a negro +melody (rapturously encored), the Indian Drum, and the Village +Blacksmith; neither did we want for fashionable Italian, having Ah! +non giunge, and Mi manca la voce. Our success was splendid; our +good-humoured, unaffected, and modest bearing, a pattern. As to the +audience, they were far more polite and far more pleased than at the +Opera; they were faultless. Thus for barely an hour the concert +lasted, with thousands of great bottles looking on from the walls, +containing the results of Friar Bacon's Million and one experiments +in agricultural chemistry; and containing too, no doubt, a variety +of materials with which the Friar could have blown us all through +the roof at five minutes' notice. + +God save the Queen being done, the good Friar stepped forward and +said a few words, more particularly concerning two points; firstly, +that Saturday half-holiday, which it would be kind in farmers to +grant; secondly, the additional Allotment-grounds we were going to +establish, in consequence of the happy success of the system, but +which we could not guarantee should entitle the holders to be +members of the club, because the present members must consider and +settle that question for themselves: a bargain between man and man +being always a bargain, and we having made over the club to them as +the original Allotment-men. This was loudly applauded, and so, with +contented and affectionate cheering, it was all over. + +As Philosewers, and I the Dreary, posted back to London, looking up +at the moon and discussing it as a world preparing for the +habitation of responsible creatures, we expatiated on the honour due +to men in this world of ours who try to prepare it for a higher +course, and to leave the race who live and die upon it better than +they found them. + + + +FIVE NEW POINTS OF CRIMINAL LAW + + + +The existing Criminal Law has been found in trials for Murder, to be +so exceedingly hasty, unfair, and oppressive--in a word, to be so +very objectionable to the amiable persons accused of that +thoughtless act--that it is, we understand, the intention of the +Government to bring in a Bill for its amendment. We have been +favoured with an outline of its probable provisions. + +It will be grounded on the profound principle that the real offender +is the Murdered Person; but for whose obstinate persistency in being +murdered, the interesting fellow-creature to be tried could not have +got into trouble. + +Its leading enactments may be expected to resolve themselves under +the following heads: + +1. There shall be no judge. Strong representations have been made +by highly popular culprits that the presence of this obtrusive +character is prejudicial to their best interests. The Court will be +composed of a political gentleman, sitting in a secluded room +commanding a view of St. James's Park, who has already more to do +than any human creature can, by any stretch of the human +imagination, be supposed capable of doing. + +2. The jury to consist of Five Thousand Five Hundred and Fifty-five +Volunteers. + +3. The jury to be strictly prohibited from seeing either the +accused or the witnesses. They are not to be sworn. They are on no +account to hear the evidence. They are to receive it, or such +representations of it, as may happen to fall in their way; and they +will constantly write letters about it to all the Papers. + +4. Supposing the trial to be a trial for Murder by poisoning, and +supposing the hypothetical case, or the evidence, for the +prosecution to charge the administration of two poisons, say Arsenic +and Antimony; and supposing the taint of Arsenic in the body to be +possible but not probable, and the presence of Antimony in the body, +to be an absolute certainty; it will then become the duty of the +jury to confine their attention solely to the Arsenic, and entirely +to dismiss the Antimony from their minds. + +5. The symptoms preceding the death of the real offender (or +Murdered Person) being described in evidence by medical +practitioners who saw them, other medical practitioners who never +saw them shall be required to state whether they are inconsistent +with certain known diseases--but, THEY SHALL NEVER BE ASKED WHETHER +THEY ARE NOT EXACTLY CONSISTENT WITH THE ADMINISTRATION OF POISON. +To illustrate this enactment in the proposed Bill by a case:- A +raging mad dog is seen to run into the house where Z lives alone, +foaming at the mouth. Z and the mad dog are for some time left +together in that house under proved circumstances, irresistibly +leading to the conclusion that Z has been bitten by the dog. Z is +afterwards found lying on his bed in a state of hydrophobia, and +with the marks of the dog's teeth. Now, the symptoms of that +disease being identical with those of another disease called +Tetanus, which might supervene on Z's running a rusty nail into a +certain part of his foot, medical practitioners who never saw Z, +shall bear testimony to that abstract fact, and it shall then be +incumbent on the Registrar-General to certify that Z died of a rusty +nail. + +It is hoped that these alterations in the present mode of procedure +will not only be quite satisfactory to the accused person (which is +the first great consideration), but will also tend, in a tolerable +degree, to the welfare and safety of society. For it is not sought +in this moderate and prudent measure to be wholly denied that it is +an inconvenience to Society to be poisoned overmuch. + + + +LEIGH HUNT: A REMONSTRANCE + + + +"The sense of beauty and gentleness, of moral beauty and faithful +gentleness, grew upon him as the clear evening closed in. When he +went to visit his relative at Putney, he still carried with him his +work, and the books he more immediately wanted. Although his bodily +powers had been giving way, his most conspicuous qualities, his +memory for books, and his affection remained; and when his hair was +white, when his ample chest had grown slender, when the very +proportion of his height had visibly lessened, his step was still +ready, and his dark eyes brightened at every happy expression, and +at every thought of kindness. His death was simply exhaustion; he +broke off his work to lie down and repose. So gentle was the final +approach, that he scarcely recognised it till the very last, and +then it came without terrors. His physical suffering had not been +severe; at the latest hour he said that his only uneasiness was +failing breath. And that failing breath was used to express his +sense of the inexhaustible kindness he had received from the family +who had been so unexpectedly made his nurses,--to draw from one of +his sons, by minute, eager, and searching questions, all that he +could learn about the latest vicissitudes and growing hopes of +Italy,--to ask the friends and children around him for news of those +whom he loved,--and to send love and messages to the absent who +loved him." + + +Thus, with a manly simplicity and filial affection, writes the +eldest son of Leigh Hunt in recording his father's death. These are +the closing words of a new edition of The Autobiography of Leigh +Hunt, published by Messrs. Smith and Elder, of Cornhill, revised by +that son, and enriched with an introductory chapter of remarkable +beauty and tenderness. The son's first presentation of his father +to the reader, "rather tall, straight as an arrow, looking slenderer +than he really was; his hair black and shining, and slightly +inclined to wave; his head high, his forehead straight and white, +his eyes black and sparkling, his general complexion dark; in his +whole carriage and manner an extraordinary degree of life," +completes the picture. It is the picture of the flourishing and +fading away of man that is born of a woman and hath but a short time +to live. + +In his presentation of his father's moral nature and intellectual +qualities, Mr Hunt is no less faithful and no less touching. Those +who knew Leigh Hunt, will see the bright face and hear the musical +voice again, when he is recalled to them in this passage: "Even at +seasons of the greatest depression in his fortunes, he always +attracted many visitors, but still not so much for any repute that +attended him as for his personal qualities. Few men were more +attractive, in society, whether in a large company or over the +fireside. His manners were peculiarly animated; his conversation, +varied, ranging over a great field of subjects, was moved and called +forth by the response of his companion, be that companion +philosopher or student, sage or boy, man or woman; and he was +equally ready for the most lively topics or for the gravest +reflections--his expression easily adapting itself to the tone of +his companion's mind. With much freedom of manners, he combined a +spontaneous courtesy that never failed, and a considerateness +derived from a ceaseless kindness of heart that invariably +fascinated even strangers." Or in this: "His animation, his +sympathy with what was gay and pleasurable; his avowed doctrine of +cultivating cheerfulness, were manifest on the surface, and could be +appreciated by those who knew him in society, most probably even +exaggerated as salient traits, on which he himself insisted WITH A +SORT OF GAY AND OSTENTATIOUS WILFULNESS." + +The last words describe one of the most captivating peculiarities of +a most original and engaging man, better than any other words could. +The reader is besought to observe them, for a reason that shall +presently be given. Lastly: "The anxiety to recognise the right of +others, the tendency to 'refine', which was noted by an early school +companion, and the propensity to elaborate every thought, made him, +along with the direct argument by which he sustained his own +conviction, recognise and almost admit all that might be said on the +opposite side". For these reasons, and for others suggested with +equal felicity, and with equal fidelity, the son writes of the +father, "It is most desirable that his qualities should be known as +they were; for such deficiencies as he had are the honest +explanation of his mistakes; while, as the reader may see from his +writings and his conduct, they are not, as the faults of which he +was accused would be, incompatible with the noblest faculties both +of head and heart. To know Leigh Hunt as he was, was to hold him in +reverence and love." + +These quotations are made here, with a special object. It is not, +that the personal testimony of one who knew Leigh Hunt well, may be +borne to their truthfulness. It is not, that it may be recorded in +these pages, as in his son's introductory chapter, that his life was +of the most amiable and domestic kind, that his wants were few, that +his way of life was frugal, that he was a man of small expenses, no +ostentations, a diligent labourer, and a secluded man of letters. +It is not, that the inconsiderate and forgetful may be reminded of +his wrongs and sufferings in the days of the Regency, and of the +national disgrace of his imprisonment. It is not, that their +forbearance may be entreated for his grave, in right of his graceful +fancy or his political labours and endurances, though - + + +Not only we, the latest seed of Time, +New men, that in the flying of a wheel +Cry down the past, not only we, that prate +Of rights and wrongs, have loved the people well. + + +It is, that a duty may be done in the most direct way possible. An +act of plain, clear duty. + +Four or five years ago, the writer of these lines was much pained by +accidentally encountering a printed statement, "that Mr. Leigh Hunt +was the original of Harold Skimpole in Bleak House". The writer of +these lines, is the author of that book. The statement came from +America. It is no disrespect to that country, in which the writer +has, perhaps, as many friends and as true an interest as any man +that lives, good-humouredly to state the fact, that he has, now and +then, been the subject of paragraphs in Transatlantic newspapers, +more surprisingly destitute of all foundation in truth than the +wildest delusions of the wildest lunatics. For reasons born of this +experience, he let the thing go by. + +But, since Mr. Leigh Hunt's death, the statement has been revived in +England. The delicacy and generosity evinced in its revival, are +for the rather late consideration of its revivers. The fact is +this: + +Exactly those graces and charms of manner which are remembered in +the words we have quoted, were remembered by the author of the work +of fiction in question, when he drew the character in question. +Above all other things, that "sort of gay and ostentatious +wilfulness" in the humouring of a subject, which had many a time +delighted him, and impressed him as being unspeakably whimsical and +attractive, was the airy quality he wanted for the man he invented. +Partly for this reason, and partly (he has since often grieved to +think) for the pleasure it afforded him to find that delightful +manner reproducing itself under his hand, he yielded to the +temptation of too often making the character SPEAK like his old +friend. He no more thought, God forgive him! that the admired +original would ever be charged with the imaginary vices of the +fictitious creature, than he has himself ever thought of charging +the blood of Desdemona and Othello, on the innocent Academy model +who sat for Iago's leg in the picture. Even as to the mere +occasional manner, he meant to be so cautious and conscientious, +that he privately referred the proof sheets of the first number of +that book to two intimate literary friends of Leigh Hunt (both still +living), and altered the whole of that part of the text on their +discovering too strong a resemblance to his "way". + +He cannot see the son lay this wreath on the father's tomb, and +leave him to the possibility of ever thinking that the present words +might have righted the father's memory and were left unwritten. He +cannot know that his own son may have to explain his father when +folly or malice can wound his heart no more, and leave this task +undone. + + + +THE TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER + + + +The pen is taken in hand on the present occasion, by a private +individual (not wholly unaccustomed to literary composition), for +the exposure of a conspiracy of a most frightful nature; a +conspiracy which, like the deadly Upas-tree of Java, on which the +individual produced a poem in his earlier youth (not wholly devoid +of length), which was so flatteringly received (in circles not +wholly unaccustomed to form critical opinions), that he was +recommended to publish it, and would certainly have carried out the +suggestion, but for private considerations (not wholly unconnected +with expense). + +The individual who undertakes the exposure of the gigantic +conspiracy now to be laid bare in all its hideous deformity, is an +inhabitant of the town of Tattlesnivel--a lowly inhabitant, it may +be, but one who, as an Englishman and a man, will ne'er abase his +eye before the gaudy and the mocking throng. + +Tattlesnivel stoops to demand no championship from her sons. On an +occasion in History, our bluff British monarch, our Eighth Royal +Harry, almost went there. And long ere the periodical in which this +exposure will appear, had sprung into being, Tattlesnivel had +unfurled that standard which yet waves upon her battlements. The +standard alluded to, is THE TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER, containing the +latest intelligence, and state of markets, down to the hour of going +to press, and presenting a favourable local medium for advertisers, +on a graduated scale of charges, considerably diminishing in +proportion to the guaranteed number of insertions. + +It were bootless to expatiate on the host of talent engaged in +formidable phalanx to do fealty to the Bleater. Suffice it to +select, for present purposes, one of the most gifted and (but for +the wide and deep ramifications of an un-English conspiracy) most +rising, of the men who are bold Albion's pride. It were needless, +after this preamble, to point the finger more directly at the LONDON +CORRESPONDENT OF THE TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER. + +On the weekly letters of that Correspondent, on the flexibility of +their English, on the boldness of their grammar, on the originality +of their quotations (never to be found as they are printed, in any +book existing), on the priority of their information, on their +intimate acquaintance with the secret thoughts and unexecuted +intentions of men, it would ill become the humble Tattlesnivellian +who traces these words, to dwell. They are graven in the memory; +they are on the Bleater's file. Let them be referred to. + +But from the infamous, the dark, the subtle conspiracy which spreads +its baleful roots throughout the land, and of which the Bleater's +London Correspondent is the one sole subject, it is the purpose of +the lowly Tattlesnivellian who undertakes this revelation, to tear +the veil. Nor will he shrink from his self-imposed labour, +Herculean though it be. + +The conspiracy begins in the very Palace of the Sovereign Lady of +our Ocean Isle. Leal and loyal as it is the proud vaunt of the +Bleater's readers, one and all, to be, the inhabitant who pens this +exposure does not personally impeach, either her Majesty the queen, +or the illustrious Prince Consort. But, some silken-clad smoothers, +some purple parasites, some fawners in frippery, some greedy and +begartered ones in gorgeous garments, he does impeach--ay, and +wrathfully! Is it asked on what grounds? They shall be stated. + +The Bleater's London Correspondent, in the prosecution of his +important inquiries, goes down to Windsor, sends in his card, has a +confidential interview with her Majesty and the illustrious Prince +Consort. For a time, the restraints of Royalty are thrown aside in +the cheerful conversation of the Bleater's London Correspondent, in +his fund of information, in his flow of anecdote, in the atmosphere +of his genius; her Majesty brightens, the illustrious Prince Consort +thaws, the cares of State and the conflicts of Party are forgotten, +lunch is proposed. Over that unassuming and domestic table, her +Majesty communicates to the Bleater's London Correspondent that it +is her intention to send his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales to +inspect the top of the Great Pyramid--thinking it likely to improve +his acquaintance with the views of the people. Her Majesty further +communicates that she has made up her royal mind (and that the +Prince Consort has made up his illustrious mind) to the bestowal of +the vacant Garter, let us say on Mr. Roebuck. The younger Royal +children having been introduced at the request of the Bleater's +London Correspondent, and having been by him closely observed to +present the usual external indications of good health, the happy +knot is severed, with a sigh the Royal bow is once more strung to +its full tension, the Bleater's London Correspondent returns to +London, writes his letter, and tells the Tattlesnivel Bleater what +he knows. All Tattlesnivel reads it, and knows that he knows it. +But, DOES his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales ultimately go to +the top of the Great Pyramid? DOES Mr. Roebuck ultimately get the +Garter? No. Are the younger Royal children even ultimately found +to be well? On the contrary, they have--and on that very day had-- +the measles. Why is this? BECAUSE THE CONSPIRATORS AGAINST THE +BLEATER'S LONDON CORRESPONDENT HAVE STEPPED IN WITH THEIR DARK +MACHINATIONS. Because her Majesty and the Prince Consort are +artfully induced to change their minds, from north to south, from +east to west, immediately after it is known to the conspirators that +they have put themselves in communication with the Bleater's London +Correspondent. It is now indignantly demanded, by whom are they so +tampered with? It is now indignantly demanded, who took the +responsibility of concealing the indisposition of those Royal +children from their Royal and illustrious parents, and of bringing +them down from their beds, disguised, expressly to confound the +London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater? Who are those +persons, it is again asked? Let not rank and favour protect them. +Let the traitors be exhibited in the face of day! + +Lord John Russell is in this conspiracy. Tell us not that his +Lordship is a man of too much spirit and honour. Denunciation is +hurled against him. The proof? The proof is here. + +The Time is panting for an answer to the question, Will Lord John +Russell consent to take office under Lord Palmerston? Good. The +London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater is in the act of +writing his weekly letter, finds himself rather at a loss to settle +this question finally, leaves off, puts his hat on, goes down to the +lobby of the House of Commons, sends in for Lord John Russell, and +has him out. He draws his arm through his Lordship's, takes him +aside, and says, "John, will you ever accept office under +Palmerston?" His Lordship replies, "I will not." The Bleater's +London Correspondent retorts, with the caution such a man is bound +to use, "John, think again; say nothing to me rashly; is there any +temper here?" His Lordship replies, calmly, "None whatever." After +giving him time for reflection, the Bleater's London Correspondent +says, "Once more, John, let me put a question to you. Will you ever +accept office under Palmerston?" His Lordship answers (note the +exact expressions), "Nothing shall induce me, ever to accept a seat +in a Cabinet of which Palmerston is the Chief." They part, the +London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater finishes his +letter, and--always being withheld by motives of delicacy, from +plainly divulging his means of getting accurate information on every +subject, at first hand--puts in it, this passage: "Lord John +Russell is spoken of, by blunderers, for Foreign Affairs; but I have +the best reasons for assuring your readers, that" (giving prominence +to the exact expressions, it will be observed) "'NOTHING WILL EVER +INDUCE HIM, TO ACCEPT A SEAT IN A CABINET OF WHICH PALMERSTON IS THE +CHIEF.' On this you may implicitly rely." What happens? On the +very day of the publication of that number of the Bleater--the +malignity of the conspirators being even manifested in the selection +of the day--Lord John Russell takes the Foreign Office! Comment +were superfluous. + +The people of Tattlesnivel will be told, have been told, that Lord +John Russell is a man of his word. He may be, on some occasions; +but, when overshadowed by this dark and enormous growth of +conspiracy, Tattlesnivel knows him to be otherwise. "I happen to be +certain, deriving my information from a source which cannot be +doubted to be authentic," wrote the London Correspondent of the +Bleater, within the last year, "that Lord John Russell bitterly +regrets having made that explicit speech of last Monday." These are +not roundabout phrases; these are plain words. What does Lord John +Russell (apparently by accident), within eight-and-forty hours after +their diffusion over the civilised globe? Rises in his place in +Parliament, and unblushingly declares that if the occasion could +arise five hundred times, for his making that very speech, he would +make it five hundred times! Is there no conspiracy here? And is +this combination against one who would be always right if he were +not proved always wrong, to be endured in a country that boasts of +its freedom and its fairness? + +But, the Tattlesnivellian who now raises his voice against +intolerable oppression, may be told that, after all, this is a +political conspiracy. He may be told, forsooth, that Mr. Disraeli's +being in it, that Lord Derby's being in it, that Mr. Bright's being +in it, that every Home, Foreign, and Colonial Secretary's being in +it, that every ministry's and every opposition's being in it, are +but proofs that men will do in politics what they would do in +nothing else. Is this the plea? If so, the rejoinder is, that the +mighty conspiracy includes the whole circle of Artists of all kinds, +and comprehends all degrees of men, down to the worst criminal and +the hangman who ends his career. For, all these are intimately +known to the London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater, and +all these deceive him. + +Sir, put it to the proof. There is the Bleater on the file-- +documentary evidence. Weeks, months, before the Exhibition of the +Royal Academy, the Bleater's London Correspondent knows the subjects +of all the leading pictures, knows what the painters first meant to +do, knows what they afterwards substituted for what they first meant +to do, knows what they ought to do and won't do, knows what they +ought not to do and will do, knows to a letter from whom they have +commissions, knows to a shilling how much they are to be paid. Now, +no sooner is each studio clear of the remarkable man to whom each +studio-occupant has revealed himself as he does not reveal himself +to his nearest and dearest bosom friend, than conspiracy and fraud +begin. Alfred the Great becomes the Fairy Queen; Moses viewing the +Promised Land, turns out to be Moses going to the Fair; Portrait of +His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury, is transformed, as if by +irreverent enchantment of the dissenting interest, into A Favourite +Terrier, or Cattle Grazing; and the most extraordinary work of art +in the list described by the Bleater, is coolly sponged out +altogether, and asserted never to have had existence at all, even in +the most shadow thoughts of its executant! This is vile enough, but +this is not all. Picture-buyers then come forth from their secret +positions, and creep into their places in the assassin-multitude of +conspirators. Mr. Baring, after expressly telling the Bleater's +London Correspondent that he had bought No. 39 for one thousand +guineas, gives it up to somebody unknown for a couple of hundred +pounds; the Marquis of Lansdowne pretends to have no knowledge +whatever of the commissions to which the London Correspondent of the +Bleater swore him, but allows a Railway Contractor to cut him out +for half the money. Similar examples might be multiplied. Shame, +shame, on these men! Is this England? + +Sir, look again at Literature. The Bleater's London Correspondent +is not merely acquainted with all the eminent writers, but is in +possession of the secrets of their souls. He is versed in their +hidden meanings and references, sees their manuscripts before +publication, and knows the subjects and titles of their books when +they are not begun. How dare those writers turn upon the eminent +man and depart from every intention they have confided to him? How +do they justify themselves in entirely altering their manuscripts, +changing their titles, and abandoning their subjects? Will they +deny, in the face of Tattlesnivel, that they do so? If they have +such hardihood, let the file of the Bleater strike them dumb. By +their fruits they shall be known. Let their works be compared with +the anticipatory letters of the Bleater's London Correspondent, and +their falsehood and deceit will become manifest as the sun; it will +be seen that they do nothing which they stand pledged to the +Bleater's London Correspondent to do; it will be seen that they are +among the blackest parties in this black and base conspiracy. This +will become apparent, sir, not only as to their public proceedings +but as to their private affairs. The outraged Tattlesnivellian who +now drags this infamous combination into the face of day, charges +those literary persons with making away with their property, +imposing on the Income Tax Commissioners, keeping false books, and +entering into sham contracts. He accuses them on the unimpeachable +faith of the London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater. With +whose evidence they will find it impossible to reconcile their own +account of any transaction of their lives. + +The national character is degenerating under the influence of the +ramifications of this tremendous conspiracy. Forgery is committed, +constantly. A person of note--any sort of person of note--dies. +The Bleater's London Correspondent knows what his circumstances are, +what his savings are (if any), who his creditors are, all about his +children and relations, and (in general, before his body is cold) +describes his will. Is that will ever proved? Never! Some other +will is substituted; the real instrument, destroyed. And this (as +has been before observed), is England. + +Who are the workmen and artificers, enrolled upon the books of this +treacherous league? From what funds are they paid, and with what +ceremonies are they sworn to secrecy? Are there none such? Observe +what follows. A little time ago the Bleater's London Correspondent +had this passage: "Boddleboy is pianoforte playing at St. +Januarius's Gallery, with pretty tolerable success! He clears three +hundred pounds per night. Not bad this!!" The builder of St. +Januarius's Gallery (plunged to the throat in the conspiracy) met +with this piece of news, and observed, with characteristic +coarseness, "that the Bleater's London Correspondent was a Blind +Ass". Being pressed by a man of spirit to give his reasons for this +extraordinary statement, he declared that the Gallery, crammed to +suffocation, would not hold two hundred pounds, and that its +expenses were, probably, at least half what it did hold. The man of +spirit (himself a Tattlesnivellian) had the Gallery measured within +a week from that hour, and it would not hold two hundred pounds! +Now, can the poorest capacity doubt that it had been altered in the +meantime? + +And so the conspiracy extends, through every grade of society, down +to the condemned criminal in prison, the hangman, and the Ordinary. +Every famous murderer within the last ten years has desecrated his +last moments by falsifying his confidences imparted specially to the +London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater; on every such +occasion, Mr. Calcraft has followed the degrading example; and the +reverend Ordinary, forgetful of his cloth, and mindful only (it +would seem, alas!) of the conspiracy, has committed himself to some +account or other of the criminal's demeanour and conversation, which +has been diametrically opposed to the exclusive information of the +London Correspondent of the Bleater. And this (as has been before +observed) is Merry England! + +A man of true genius, however, is not easily defeated. The +Bleater's London Correspondent, probably beginning to suspect the +existence of a plot against him, has recently fallen on a new style, +which, as being very difficult to countermine, may necessitate the +organisation of a new conspiracy. One of his masterly letters, +lately, disclosed the adoption of this style--which was remarked +with profound sensation throughout Tattlesnivel--in the following +passage: "Mentioning literary small talk, I may tell you that some +new and extraordinary rumours are afloat concerning the +conversations I have previously mentioned, alleged to have taken +place in the first floor front (situated over the street door), of +Mr. X. Ameter (the poet so well known to your readers), in which, X. +Ameter's great uncle, his second son, his butcher, and a corpulent +gentleman with one eye universally respected at Kensington, are said +not to have been on the most friendly footing; I forbear, however, +to pursue the subject further, this week, my informant not being +able to supply me with exact particulars." + +But, enough, sir. The inhabitant of Tattlesnivel who has taken pen +in hand to expose this odious association of unprincipled men +against a shining (local) character, turns from it with disgust and +contempt. Let him in few words strip the remaining flimsy covering +from the nude object of the conspirators, and his loathsome task is +ended. + +Sir, that object, he contends, is evidently twofold. First, to +exhibit the London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater in the +light of a mischievous Blockhead who, by hiring himself out to tell +what he cannot possibly know, is as great a public nuisance as a +Blockhead in a corner can be. Second, to suggest to the men of +Tattlesnivel that it does not improve their town to have so much Dry +Rubbish shot there. + +Now, sir, on both these points Tattlesnivel demands in accents of +Thunder, Where is the Attorney General? Why doesn't the Times take +it up? (Is the latter in the conspiracy? It never adopts his +views, or quotes him, and incessantly contradicts him.) +Tattlesnivel, sir, remembering that our forefathers contended with +the Norman at Hastings, and bled at a variety of other places that +will readily occur to you, demands that its birthright shall not be +bartered away for a mess of pottage. Have a care, sir, have a care! +Or Tattlesnivel (its idle Rifles piled in its scouted streets) may +be seen ere long, advancing with its Bleater to the foot of the +Throne, and demanding redress for this conspiracy, from the orbed +and sceptred hands of Majesty itself! + + + +THE YOUNG MAN FROM THE COUNTRY + + + +A song of the hour, now in course of being sung and whistled in +every street, the other day reminded the writer of these words--as +he chanced to pass a fag-end of the song for the twentieth time in a +short London walk--that twenty years ago, a little book on the +United States, entitled American Notes, was published by "a Young +Man from the Country", who had just seen and left it. + +This Young Man from the Country fell into a deal of trouble, by +reason of having taken the liberty to believe that he perceived in +America downward popular tendencies for which his young enthusiasm +had been anything but prepared. It was in vain for the Young Man to +offer in extenuation of his belief that no stranger could have set +foot on those shores with a feeling of livelier interest in the +country, and stronger faith in it, than he. Those were the days +when the Tories had made their Ashburton Treaty, and when Whigs and +Radicals must have no theory disturbed. All three parties waylaid +and mauled the Young Man from the Country, and showed that he knew +nothing about the country. + +As the Young Man from the Country had observed in the Preface to his +little book, that he "could bide his time", he took all this in +silent part for eight years. Publishing then, a cheap edition of +his book, he made no stronger protest than the following: + + +"My readers have opportunities of judging for themselves whether the +influences and tendencies which I distrusted in America, have any +existence but in my imagination. They can examine for themselves +whether there has been anything in the public career of that country +during these past eight years, or whether there is anything in its +present position, at home or abroad, which suggests that those +influences and tendencies really do exist. As they find the fact, +they will judge me. If they discern any evidences of wrong-going, +in any direction that I have indicated, they will acknowledge that I +had reason in what I wrote. If they discern no such thing, they +will consider me altogether mistaken. I have nothing to defend, or +to explain away. The truth is the truth; and neither childish +absurdities, nor unscrupulous contradictions, can make it otherwise. +The earth would still move round the sun, though the whole Catholic +Church said No." + + +Twelve more years having since passed away, it may now, at last, be +simply just towards the Young Man from the Country, to compare what +he originally wrote, with recent events and their plain motive +powers. Treating of the House of Representatives at Washington, he +wrote thus: + + +"Did I recognise in this assembly, a body of men, who, applying +themselves in a new world to correct some of the falsehoods and +vices of the old, purified the avenues to Public Life, paved the +dirty ways to Place and Power, debated and made laws for the Common +Good, and had no party but their Country? + +"I saw in them, the wheels that move the meanest perversion of +virtuous Political Machinery that the worst tools ever wrought. +Despicable trickery at elections; under-handed tamperings with +public officers; cowardly attacks upon opponents, with scurrilous +newspapers for shields, and hired pens for daggers; shameful +trucklings to mercenary knaves, whose claim to be considered, is, +that every day and week they sow new crops of ruin with their venal +types, which are the dragon's teeth of yore, in everything but +sharpness; aidings and abettings of every bad inclination in the +popular mind, and artful suppressions of all its good influences: +such things as these, and in a word, Dishonest Faction in its most +depraved and most unblushing form, stared out from every corner of +the crowded hall. + +"Did I see among them, the intelligence and refinement: the true, +honest, patriotic heart of America? Here and there, were drops of +its blood and life, but they scarcely coloured the stream of +desperate adventurers which sets that way for profit and for pay. +It is the game of these men, and of their profligate organs, to make +the strife of politics so fierce and brutal, and so destructive of +all self-respect in worthy men, that sensitive and delicate-minded +persons shall be kept aloof, and they, and such as they, be left to +battle out their selfish views unchecked. And thus this lowest of +all scrambling fights goes on, and they who in other countries +would, from their intelligence and station, most aspire to make the +laws, do here recoil the farthest from that degradation. + +"That there are, among the representatives of the people in both +Houses, and among all parties, some men of high character and great +abilities, I need not say. The foremost among those politicians who +are known in Europe, have been already described, and I see no +reason to depart from the rule I have laid down for my guidance, of +abstaining from all mention of individuals. It will be sufficient +to add, that to the most favourable accounts that have been written +of them, I fully and most heartily subscribe; and that personal +intercourse and free communication have bred within me, not the +result predicted in the very doubtful proverb, but increased +admiration and respect." + +Towards the end of his book, the Young Man from the Country thus +expressed himself concerning its people: + + +"They are, by nature, frank, brave, cordial, hospitable, and +affectionate. Cultivation and refinement seem but to enhance their +warmth of heart and ardent enthusiasm; and it is the possession of +these latter qualities in a most remarkable degree, which renders an +educated American one of the most endearing and most generous of +friends. I never was so won upon, as by this class; never yielded +up my full confidence and esteem so readily and pleasurably, as to +them; never can make again, in half a year, so many friends for whom +I seem to entertain the regard of half a life. + +"These qualities are natural, I implicitly believe, to the whole +people. That they are, however, sadly sapped and blighted in their +growth among the mass; and that there are influences at work which +endanger them still more, and give but little present promise of +their healthy restoration; is a truth that ought to be told. + +"It is an essential part of every national character to pique itself +mightily upon its faults, and to deduce tokens of its virtue or its +wisdom from their very exaggeration. One great blemish in the +popular mind of America, and the prolific parent of an innumerable +brood of evils, is Universal Distrust. Yet the American citizen +plumes himself upon this spirit, even when he is sufficiently +dispassionate to perceive the ruin it works; and will often adduce +it, in spite of his own reason, as an instance of the great sagacity +and acuteness of the people, and their superior shrewdness and +independence. + +"'You carry,' says the stranger, 'this jealousy and distrust into +every transaction of public life. By repelling worthy men from your +legislative assemblies, it has bred up a class of candidates for the +suffrage, who, in their every act, disgrace your Institutions and +your people's choice. It has rendered you so fickle, and so given +to change, that your inconstancy has passed into a proverb; for you +no sooner set up an idol firmly, than you are sure to pull it down +and dash it into fragments: and this, because directly you reward a +benefactor, or a public-servant, you distrust him, merely because he +IS rewarded; and immediately apply yourselves to find out, either +that you have been too bountiful in your acknowledgments, or he +remiss in his deserts. Any man who attains a high place among you, +from the President downwards, may date his downfall from that +moment; for any printed lie that any notorious villain pens, +although it militate directly against the character and conduct of a +life, appeals at once to your distrust, and is believed. You will +strain at a gnat in the way of trustfulness and confidence, however +fairly won and well deserved; but you will swallow a whole caravan +of camels, if they be laden with unworthy doubts and mean +suspicions. Is this well, think you, or likely to elevate the +character of the governors or the governed, among you?' + +"The answer is invariably the same: 'There's freedom of opinion +here, you know. Every man thinks for himself, and we are not to be +easily overreached. That's how our people come to be suspicious.' + +"Another prominent feature is the love of 'smart' dealing: which +gilds over many a swindle and gross breach of trust; many a +defalcation, public and private; and enables many a knave to hold +his head up with the best, who well deserves a halter: though it +has not been without its retributive operation, for this smartness +has done more in a few years to impair the public credit, and to +cripple the public resources, than dull honesty, however rash, could +have effected in a century. The merits of a broken speculation, or +a bankruptcy, or of a successful scoundrel, are not gauged by its or +his observance of the golden rule, 'Do as you would be done by', but +are considered with reference to their smartness. I recollect, on +both occasions of our passing that ill-fated Cairo on the +Mississippi, remarking on the bad effects such gross deceits must +have when they exploded, in generating a want of confidence abroad, +and discouraging foreign investment: but I was given to understand +that this was a very smart scheme by which a deal of money had been +made: and that its smartest feature was, that they forgot these +things abroad, in a very short time, and speculated again, as freely +as ever. The following dialogue I have held a hundred times: 'Is +it not a very disgraceful circumstance that such a man as So-and-so +should be acquiring a large property by the most infamous and odious +means, and notwithstanding all the crimes of which he has been +guilty, should be tolerated and abetted by your citizens? He is a +public nuisance, is he not?' 'Yes, sir.' 'A convicted liar?' +'Yes, sir.' 'He has been kicked, and cuffed, and caned?' 'Yes, +sir.' 'And he is utterly dishonourable, debased, and profligate?' +'Yes, sir.' 'In the name of wonder, then, what is his merit?' +'Well, sir, he is a smart man.' + +"But the foul growth of America has a more tangled root than this; +and it strikes its fibres, deep in its licentious Press. + +"Schools may he erected, East, West, North, and South; pupils be +taught, and masters reared, by scores upon scores of thousands; +colleges may thrive, churches may be crammed, temperance may be +diffused, and advancing knowledge in all other forms walk through +the land with giant strides; but while the newspaper press of +America is in, or near, its present abject state, high moral +improvement in that country is hopeless. Year by year, it must and +will go back; year by year, the tone of public opinion must sink +lower down; year by year, the Congress and the Senate must become of +less account before all decent men; and year by year, the memory of +the Great Fathers of the Revolution must be outraged more and more, +in the bad life of their degenerate child. + +"Among the herd of journals which are published in the States, there +are some, the reader scarcely need be told, of character and credit. +From personal intercourse with accomplished gentlemen connected with +publications of this class, I have derived both pleasure and profit. +But the name of these is Few, and of the others Legion; and the +influence of the good, is powerless to counteract the moral poison +of the bad. + +"Among the gentry of America; among the well-informed and moderate; +in the learned professions; at the bar and on the bench; there is, +as there can be, but one opinion, in reference to the vicious +character of these infamous journals. It is sometimes contended--I +will not say strangely, for it is natural to seek excuses for such a +disgrace--that their influence is not so great as a visitor would +suppose. I must be pardoned for saying that there is no warrant for +this plea, and that every fact and circumstance tends directly to +the opposite conclusion. + +"When any man, of any grade of desert in intellect or character, can +climb to any public distinction, no matter what, in America, without +first grovelling down upon the earth, and bending the knee before +this monster of depravity; when any private excellence is safe from +its attacks; when any social confidence is left unbroken by it; or +any tie of social decency and honour is held in the least regard; +when any man in that Free Country has freedom of opinion, and +presumes to think for himself, and speak for himself, without humble +reference to a censorship which, for its rampant ignorance and base +dishonesty, he utterly loaths and despises in his heart; when those +who most acutely feel its infamy and the reproach it casts upon the +nation, and who most denounce it to each other, dare to set their +heels upon, and crush it openly, in the sight of all men: then, I +will believe that its influence is lessening, and men are returning +to their manly senses. But while that Press has its evil eye in +every house, and its black hand in every appointment in the state, +from a president to a postman; while, with ribald slander for its +only stock in trade, it is the standard literature of an enormous +class, who must find their reading in a newspaper, or they will not +read at all; so long must its odium be upon the country's head, and +so long must the evil it works, be plainly visible in the Republic." + + +The foregoing was written in the year eighteen hundred and forty- +two. It rests with the reader to decide whether it has received any +confirmation, or assumed any colour of truth, in or about the year +eighteen hundred and sixty-two. + + + +AN ENLIGHTENED CLERGYMAN + + + +At various places in Suffolk (as elsewhere) penny readings take +place "for the instruction and amusement of the lower classes". +There is a little town in Suffolk called Eye, where the subject of +one of these readings was a tale (by Mr. Wilkie Collins) from the +last Christmas Number of this Journal, entitled "Picking up Waifs at +Sea". It appears that the Eye gentility was shocked by the +introduction of this rude piece among the taste and musical glasses +of that important town, on which the eyes of Europe are notoriously +always fixed. In particular, the feelings of the vicar's family +were outraged; and a Local Organ (say, the Tattlesnivel Bleater) +consequently doomed the said piece to everlasting oblivion, as being +of an "injurious tendency!" + +When this fearful fact came to the knowledge of the unhappy writer +of the doomed tale in question, he covered his face with his robe, +previous to dying decently under the sharp steel of the +ecclesiastical gentility of the terrible town of Eye. But the +discovery that he was not alone in his gloomy glory, revived him, +and he still lives. + +For, at Stowmarket, in the aforesaid county of Suffolk, at another +of those penny readings, it was announced that a certain juvenile +sketch, culled from a volume of sketches (by Boz) and entitled "The +Bloomsbury Christening", would be read. Hereupon, the clergyman of +that place took heart and pen, and addressed the following terrific +epistle to a gentleman bearing the very appropriate name of Gudgeon: + + +STOWMARKET VICARAGE, Feb. 25, 1861. + +SIR,--My attention has been directed to a piece called "The +Bloomsbury Christening" which you propose to read this evening. +Without presuming to claim any interference in the arrangement of +the readings, I would suggest to you whether you have on this +occasion sufficiently considered the character of the composition +you have selected. I quite appreciate the laudable motive of the +promoters of the readings to raise the moral tone amongst the +working class of the town and to direct this taste in a familiar and +pleasant manner. "The Bloomsbury Christening" cannot possibly do +this. It trifles with a sacred ordinance, and the language and +style, instead of improving the taste, has a direct tendency to +lower it. + +I appeal to your right feeling whether it is desirable to give +publicity to that which must shock several of your audience, and +create a smile amongst others, to be indulged in only by violating +the conscientious scruples of their neighbours. + +The ordinance which is here exposed to ridicule is one which is much +misunderstood and neglected amongst many families belonging to the +Church of England, and the mode in which it is treated in this +chapter cannot fail to appear as giving a sanction to, or at least +excusing, such neglect. + +Although you are pledged to the public to give this subject, yet I +cannot but believe that they would fully justify your substitution +of it for another did they know the circumstances. An abridgment +would only lessen the evil in a degree, as it is not only the style +of the writing but the subject itself which is objectionable. + +Excuse me for troubling you, but I felt that, in common with +yourself, I have a grave responsibility in the matter, and I am most +truly yours, + +T. S. COLES. +To Mr. J. Gudgeon. + + +It is really necessary to explain that this is not a bad joke. It +is simply a bad fact. + + + +RATHER A STRONG DOSE + + + +"Doctor John Campbell, the minister of the Tabernacle Chapel, +Finsbury, and editor of the British Banner, etc., with that massive +vigour which distinguishes his style," did, we are informed by Mr. +Howitt, "deliver a verdict in the Banner, for November, 1852," of +great importance and favour to the Table-rapping cause. We are not +informed whether the Public, sitting in judgment on the question, +reserved any point in this great verdict for subsequent +consideration; but the verdict would seem to have been regarded by a +perverse generation as not quite final, inasmuch as Mr. Howitt finds +it necessary to re-open the case, a round ten years afterwards, in +nine hundred and sixty-two stiff octavo pages, published by Messrs. +Longman and Company. + +Mr. Howitt is in such a bristling temper on the Supernatural +subject, that we will not take the great liberty of arguing any +point with him. But--with the view of assisting him to make +converts--we will inform our readers, on his conclusive authority, +what they are required to believe; premising what may rather +astonish them in connexion with their views of a certain historical +trifle, called The Reformation, that their present state of unbelief +is all the fault of Protestantism, and that "it is high time, +therefore, to protest against Protestantism". + +They will please to believe, by way of an easy beginning, all the +stories of good and evil demons, ghosts, prophecies, communication +with spirits, and practice of magic, that ever obtained, or are said +to have ever obtained, in the North, in the South, in the East, in +the West, from the earliest and darkest ages, as to which we have +any hazy intelligence, real or supposititious, down to the yet +unfinished displacement of the red men in North America. They will +please to believe that nothing in this wise was changed by the +fulfilment of our Saviour's mission upon earth; and further, that +what Saint Paul did, can be done again, and has been done again. As +this is not much to begin with, they will throw in at this point +rejection of Faraday and Brewster, and "poor Paley", and implicit +acceptance of those shining lights, the Reverend Charles Beecher, +and the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher ("one of the most vigorous and +eloquent preachers of America"), and the Reverend Adin Ballou. + +Having thus cleared the way for a healthy exercise of faith, our +advancing readers will next proceed especially to believe in the old +story of the Drummer of Tedworth, in the inspiration of George Fox, +in "the spiritualism, prophecies, and provision" of Huntington the +coal-porter (him who prayed for the leather breeches which +miraculously fitted him), and even in the Cock Lane Ghost. They +will please wind up, before fetching their breath, with believing +that there is a close analogy between rejection of any such plain +and proved facts as those contained in the whole foregoing +catalogue, and the opposition encountered by the inventors of +railways, lighting by gas, microscopes and telescopes, and +vaccination. This stinging consideration they will always carry +rankling in their remorseful hearts as they advance. + +As touching the Cock Lane Ghost, our conscience-stricken readers +will please particularly to reproach themselves for having ever +supposed that important spiritual manifestation to have been a gross +imposture which was thoroughly detected. They will please to +believe that Dr. Johnson believed in it, and that, in Mr. Howitt's +words, he "appears to have had excellent reasons for his belief". +With a view to this end, the faithful will be so good as to +obliterate from their Boswells the following passage: "Many of my +readers, I am convinced, are to this hour under an impression that +Johnson was thus foolishly deceived. It will therefore surprise +them a good deal when they are informed upon undoubted authority +that Johnson was one of those by whom the imposture was detected. +The story had become so popular, that he thought it should be +investigated, and in this research he was assisted by the Rev. Dr. +Douglas, now Bishop of Salisbury, the great detector of impostures"- +-and therefore tremendously obnoxious to Mr. Howitt--"who informs me +that after the gentlemen who went and examined into the evidence +were satisfied of its falsity, Johnson wrote in their presence an +account of it, which was published in the newspapers and Gentleman's +Magazine, and undeceived the world". But as there will still remain +another highly inconvenient passage in the Boswells of the true +believers, they must likewise be at the trouble of cancelling the +following also, referring to a later time: "He (Johnson) expressed +great indignation at the imposture of the Cock Lane Ghost, and +related with much satisfaction how he had assisted in detecting the +cheat, and had published an account of it in the newspapers". + +They will next believe (if they be, in the words of Captain Bobadil, +"so generously minded") in the transatlantic trance-speakers "who +professed to speak from direct inspiration", Mrs. Cora Hatch, Mrs. +Henderson, and Miss Emma Hardinge; and they will believe in those +eminent ladies having "spoken on Sundays to five hundred thousand +hearers"--small audiences, by the way, compared with the intelligent +concourse recently assembled in the city of New York, to do honour +to the Nuptials of General the Honourable T. Barnum Thumb. At about +this stage of their spiritual education they may take the +opportunity of believing in "letters from a distinguished gentleman +of New York, in which the frequent appearance of the gentleman's +deceased wife and of Dr. Franklin, to him and other well-known +friends, are unquestionably unequalled in the annals of the +marvellous". Why these modest appearances should seem at all out of +the common way to Mr. Howitt (who would be in a state of flaming +indignation if we thought them so), we could not imagine, until we +found on reading further, "it is solemnly stated that the witnesses +have not only seen but touched these spirits, and handled the +clothes and hair of Franklin". Without presuming to go Mr. Howitt's +length of considering this by any means a marvellous experience, we +yet venture to confess that it has awakened in our mind many +interesting speculations touching the present whereabout in space, +of the spirits of Mr. Howitt's own departed boots and hats. + +The next articles of belief are Belief in the moderate figures of +"thirty thousand media in the United States in 1853"; and in two +million five hundred thousand spiritualists in the same country of +composed minds, in 1855, "professing to have arrived at their +convictions of spiritual communication from personal experience"; +and in "an average rate of increase of three hundred thousand per +annum", still in the same country of calm philosophers. Belief in +spiritual knockings, in all manner of American places, and, among +others, in the house of "a Doctor Phelps at Stratford, Connecticut, +a man of the highest character for intelligence", says Mr. Howitt, +and to whom we willingly concede the possession of far higher +intelligence than was displayed by his spiritual knocker, in +"frequently cutting to pieces the clothes of one of his boys", and +in breaking "seventy-one panes of glass"--unless, indeed, the +knocker, when in the body, was connected with the tailoring and +glazing interests. Belief in immaterial performers playing (in the +dark though: they are obstinate about its being in the dark) on +material instruments of wood, catgut, brass, tin, and parchment. +Your belief is further requested in "the Kentucky Jerks". The +spiritual achievements thus euphoniously denominated "appear", says +Mr. Howitt, "to have been of a very disorderly kind". It appears +that a certain Mr. Doke, a Presbyterian clergyman, "was first seized +by the jerks", and the jerks laid hold of Mr. Doke in that +unclerical way and with that scant respect for his cloth, that they +"twitched him about in a most extraordinary manner, often when in +the pulpit, and caused him to shout aloud, and run out of the pulpit +into the woods, screaming like a madman. When the fit was over, he +returned calmly to his pulpit and finished the service." The +congregation having waited, we presume, and edified themselves with +the distant bellowings of Doke in the woods, until he came back +again, a little warm and hoarse, but otherwise in fine condition. +"People were often seized at hotels, and at table would, on lifting +a glass to drink, jerk the liquor to the ceiling; ladies would at +the breakfast-table suddenly be compelled to throw aloft their +coffee, and frequently break the cup and saucer." A certain +venturesome clergyman vowed that he would preach down the Jerks, +"but he was seized in the midst of his attempt, and made so +ridiculous that he withdrew himself from further notice"--an example +much to be commended. That same favoured land of America has been +particularly favoured in the development of "innumerable mediums", +and Mr. Howitt orders you to believe in Daniel Dunglas Home, Andrew +Davis Jackson, and Thomas L. Harris, as "the three most remarkable, +or most familiar, on this side of the Atlantic". Concerning Mr. +Home, the articles of belief (besides removal of furniture) are, +That through him raps have been given and communications made from +deceased friends. That "his hand has been seized by spirit +influence, and rapid communications written out, of a surprising +character to those to whom they were addressed". That at his +bidding, "spirit hands have appeared which have been seen, felt, and +recognised frequently, by persons present, as those of deceased +friends". That he has been frequently lifted up and carried, +floating "as it were" through a room, near the ceiling. That in +America, "all these phenomena have displayed themselves in greater +force than here"--which we have not the slightest doubt of. That he +is "the planter of spiritualism all over Europe". That "by +circumstances that no man could have devised, he became the guest of +the Emperor of the French, of the King of Holland, of the Czar of +Russia, and of many lesser princes". That he returned from "this +unpremeditated missionary tour", "endowed with competence"; but not +before, "at the Tuileries, on one occasion when the emperor, +empress, a distinguished lady, and himself only were sitting at +table, a hand appeared, took up a pen, and wrote, in a strong and +well-known character, the word Napoleon. The hand was then +successively presented to the several personages of the party to +kiss." The stout believer, having disposed of Mr. Home, and rested +a little, will then proceed to believe in Andrew Davis Jackson, or +Andrew Jackson Davis (Mr. Howitt, having no Medium at hand to settle +this difference and reveal the right name of the seer, calls him by +both names), who merely "beheld all the essential natures of things, +saw the interior of men and animals, as perfectly as their exterior; +and described them in language so correct, that the most able +technologists could not surpass him. He pointed out the proper +remedies for all the complaints, and the shops where they were to be +obtained";--in the latter respect appearing to hail from an +advertising circle, as we conceive. It was also in this gentleman's +limited department to "see the metals in the earth", and to have +"the most distant regions and their various productions present +before him". Having despatched this tough case, the believer will +pass on to Thomas L. Harris, and will swallow HIM easily, together +with "whole epics" of his composition; a certain work "of scarcely +less than Miltonic grandeur", called The Lyric of the Golden Age--a +lyric pretty nigh as long as one of Mr. Howitt's volumes--dictated +by Mr. (not Mrs.) Harris to the publisher in ninety-four hours; and +several extempore sermons, possessing the remarkably lucid property +of being "full, unforced, out-gushing, unstinted, and absorbing". +The candidate for examination in pure belief, will then pass on to +the spirit-photography department; this, again, will be found in so- +favoured America, under the superintendence of Medium Mumler, a +photographer of Boston: who was "astonished" (though, on Mr. +Howitt's showing, he surely ought not to have been) "on taking a +photograph of himself, to find also by his side the figure of a +young girl, which he immediately recognised as that of a deceased +relative. The circumstance made a great excitement. Numbers of +persons rushed to his rooms, and many have found deceased friends +photographed with themselves." (Perhaps Mr. Mumler, too, may become +"endowed with competence" in time. Who knows?) Finally, the true +believers in the gospel according to Howitt, have, besides, but to +pin their faith on "ladies who see spirits habitually", on ladies +who KNOW they have a tendency to soar in the air on sufficient +provocation, and on a few other gnats to be taken after their +camels, and they shall be pronounced by Mr. Howitt not of the +stereotyped class of minds, and not partakers of "the astonishing +ignorance of the press", and shall receive a first-class certificate +of merit. + +But before they pass through this portal into the Temple of Serene +Wisdom, we, halting blind and helpless on the steps, beg to suggest +to them what they must at once and for ever disbelieve. They must +disbelieve that in the dark times, when very few were versed in what +are now the mere recreations of Science, and when those few formed a +priesthood-class apart, any marvels were wrought by the aid of +concave mirrors and a knowledge of the properties of certain odours +and gases, although the self-same marvels could be reproduced before +their eyes at the Polytechnic Institution, Regent Street, London, +any day in the year. They must by no means believe that Conjuring +and Ventriloquism are old trades. They must disbelieve all +Philosophical Transactions containing the records of painful and +careful inquiry into now familiar disorders of the senses of seeing +and hearing, and into the wonders of somnambulism, epilepsy, +hysteria, miasmatic influence, vegetable poisons derived by whole +communities from corrupted air, diseased imitation, and moral +infection. They must disbelieve all such awkward leading cases as +the case of the Woodstock Commissioners and their man, and the case +of the Identity of the Stockwell Ghost, with the maid-servant. They +must disbelieve the vanishing of champion haunted houses (except, +indeed, out of Mr. Howitt's book), represented to have been closed +and ruined for years, before one day's inquiry by four gentlemen +associated with this journal, and one hour's reference to the Local +Rate-books. They must disbelieve all possibility of a human +creature on the last verge of the dark bridge from Life to Death, +being mysteriously able, in occasional cases, so to influence the +mind of one very near and dear, as vividly to impress that mind with +some disturbed sense of the solemn change impending. They must +disbelieve the possibility of the lawful existence of a class of +intellects which, humbly conscious of the illimitable power of GOD +and of their own weakness and ignorance, never deny that He can +cause the souls of the dead to revisit the earth, or that He may +have caused the souls of the dead to revisit the earth, or that He +can cause any awful or wondrous thing to be; but to deny the +likelihood of apparitions or spirits coming here upon the stupidest +of bootless errands, and producing credentials tantamount to a +solicitation of our vote and interest and next proxy, to get them +into the Asylum for Idiots. They must disbelieve the right of +Christian people who do NOT protest against Protestantism, but who +hold it to be a barrier against the darkest superstitions that can +enslave the soul, to guard with jealousy all approaches tending down +to Cock Lane Ghosts and suchlike infamous swindles, widely degrading +when widely believed in; and they must disbelieve that such people +have the right to know, and that it is their duty to know, wonder- +workers by their fruits, and to test miracle-mongers by the tests of +probability, analogy, and common sense. They must disbelieve all +rational explanations of thoroughly proved experiences (only) which +appear supernatural, derived from the average experience and study +of the visible world. They must disbelieve the speciality of the +Master and the Disciples, and that it is a monstrosity to test the +wonders of show-folk by the same touchstone. Lastly, they must +disbelieve that one of the best accredited chapters in the history +of mankind is the chapter that records the astonishing deceits +continually practised, with no object or purpose but the distorted +pleasure of deceiving. + +We have summed up a few--not nearly all--of the articles of belief +and disbelief to which Mr. Howitt most arrogantly demands an +implicit adherence. To uphold these, he uses a book as a Clown in a +Pantomime does, and knocks everybody on the head with it who comes +in his way. Moreover, he is an angrier personage than the Clown, +and does not experimentally try the effect of his red-hot poker on +your shins, but straightway runs you through the body and soul with +it. He is always raging to tell you that if you are not Howitt, you +are Atheist and Anti-Christ. He is the sans-culotte of the +Spiritual Revolution, and will not hear of your accepting this point +and rejecting that;--down your throat with them all, one and +indivisible, at the point of the pike; No Liberty, Totality, +Fraternity, or Death! + +Without presuming to question that "it is high time to protest +against Protestantism" on such very substantial grounds as Mr. +Howitt sets forth, we do presume to think that it is high time to +protest against Mr. Howitt's spiritualism, as being a little in +excess of the peculiar merit of Thomas L. Harris's sermons, and +somewhat TOO "full, out-gushing, unstinted, and absorbing". + + + +THE MARTYR MEDIUM + + + +"After the valets, the master!" is Mr. Fechter's rallying cry in the +picturesque romantic drama which attracts all London to the Lyceum +Theatre. After the worshippers and puffers of Mr. Daniel Dunglas +Home, the spirit medium, comes Mr. Daniel Dunglas Home himself, in +one volume. And we must, for the honour of Literature, plainly +express our great surprise and regret that he comes arm-in-arm with +such good company as Messrs. Longman and Company. + +We have already summed up Mr. Home's demands on the public capacity +of swallowing, as sounded through the war-denouncing trumpet of Mr. +Howitt, and it is not our intention to revive the strain as +performed by Mr. Home on his own melodious instrument. We notice, +by the way, that in that part of the Fantasia where the hand of the +first Napoleon is supposed to be reproduced, recognised, and kissed, +at the Tuileries, Mr. Home subdues the florid effects one might have +expected after Mr. Howitt's execution, and brays in an extremely +general manner. And yet we observe Mr. Home to be in other things +very reliant on Mr. Howitt, of whom he entertains as gratifying an +opinion as Mr. Howitt entertains of him: dwelling on his "deep +researches into this subject", and of his "great work now ready for +the press", and of his "eloquent and forcible" advocacy, and eke of +his "elaborate and almost exhaustive work", which Mr. Home trusts +will be "extensively read". But, indeed, it would seem to be the +most reliable characteristic of the Dear Spirits, though very +capricious in other particulars, that they always form their circles +into what may be described, in worldly terms, as A Mutual Admiration +and Complimentation Company (Limited). + +Mr. Home's book is entitled Incidents in My Life. We will extract a +dozen sample passages from it, as variations on and phrases of +harmony in, the general strain for the Trumpet, which we have +promised not to repeat. + + +1. MR. HOME IS SUPERNATURALLY NURSED + + +"I cannot remember when first I became subject to the curious +phenomena which have now for so long attended me, but my aunt and +others have told me that when I was a baby my cradle was frequently +rocked, as if some kind guardian spirit was attending me in my +slumbers." + + +2. DISRESPECTFUL CONDUCT OF MR. HOME'S AUNT NEVERTHELESS + + +"In her uncontrollable anger she seized a chair and threw it at me." + + +3. PUNISHMENT OF MR. HOME'S AUNT + + +"Upon one occasion as the table was being thus moved about of +itself, my aunt brought the family Bible, and placing it on the +table, said, 'There, that will soon drive the devils away'; but to +her astonishment the table only moved in a more lively manner, as if +pleased to bear such a burden." (We believe this is constantly +observed in pulpits and church reading desks, which are invariably +lively.) "Seeing this she was greatly incensed, and determined to +stop it, she angrily placed her whole weight on the table, and was +actually lifted up with it bodily from the floor." + + +4. TRIUMPHANT EFFECT OF THIS DISCIPLINE ON MR. HOME'S AUNT + + +"And she felt it a duty that I should leave her house, and which I +did." + + +5. MR. HOME'S MISSION + + +It was communicated to him by the spirit of his mother, in the +following terms: "Daniel, fear not, my child, God is with you, and +who shall be against you? Seek to do good: be truthful and truth- +loving, and you will prosper, my child. Yours is a glorious +mission--you will convince the infidel, cure the sick, and console +the weeping." It is a coincidence that another eminent man, with +several missions, heard a voice from the Heavens blessing him, when +he also was a youth, and saying, "You will be rewarded, my son, in +time". This Medium was the celebrated Baron Munchausen, who relates +the experience in the opening of the second chapter of the incidents +in HIS life. + + +6. MODEST SUCCESS OF MR. HOME'S MISSION + + +"Certainly these phenomena, whether from God or from the devil, have +in ten years caused more converts to the great truths of immortality +and angel communion, with all that flows from these great facts, +than all the sects in Christendom have made during the same period." + + +7. WHAT THE FIRST COMPOSERS SAY OF THE SPIRIT-MUSIC, TO MR. HOME + + +"As to the music, it has been my good fortune to be on intimate +terms with some of the first composers of the day, and more than one +of them have said of such as they have heard, that it is such music +as only angels could make, and no man could write it." + +These "first composers" are not more particularly named. We shall +therefore be happy to receive and file at the office of this +Journal, the testimonials in the foregoing terms of Dr. Sterndale +Bennett, Mr. Balfe, Mr. Macfarren, Mr. Benedict, Mr. Vincent +Wallace, Signor Costa, M. Auber, M. Gounod, Signor Rossini, and +Signor Verdi. We shall also feel obliged to Mr. Alfred Mellon, who +is no doubt constantly studying this wonderful music, under the +Medium's auspices, if he will note on paper, from memory, say a +single sheet of the same. Signor Giulio Regondi will then perform +it, as correctly as a mere mortal can, on the Accordion, at the next +ensuing concert of the Philharmonic Society; on which occasion the +before-mentioned testimonials will be conspicuously displayed in the +front of the orchestra. + + +8. MR. HOME'S MIRACULOUS INFANT + + +"On the 26th April, old style, or 8th May, according to our style, +at seven in the evening, and as the snow was fast falling, our +little boy was born at the town house, situate on the Gagarines +Quay, in St. Petersburg, where we were still staying. A few hours +after his birth, his mother, the nurse, and I heard for several +hours the warbling of a bird as if singing over him. Also that +night, and for two or three nights afterwards, a bright starlike +light, which was clearly visible from the partial darkness of the +room, in which there was only a night-lamp burning, appeared several +times directly I over its head, where it remained for some moments, +and then slowly moved in the direction of the door, where it +disappeared. This was also seen by each of us at the same time. +The light was more condensed than those which have been so often +seen in my presence upon previous and subsequent occasions. It was +brighter and more distinctly globular. I do not believe that it +came through my mediumship, but rather through that of the child, +who has manifested on several occasions the presence of the gift. I +do not like to allude to such a matter, but as there are more +strange things in Heaven and earth than are dreamt of, even in my +philosophy, I do not feel myself at liberty to omit stating, that +during the latter part of my wife's pregnancy, we thought it better +that she should not join in Seances, because it was found that +whenever the rappings occurred in the room, a simultaneous movement +of the child was distinctly felt, perfectly in unison with the +sounds. When there were three sounds, three movements were felt, +and so on, and when five sounds were heard, which is generally the +call for the alphabet, she felt the five internal movements, and she +would frequently, when we were mistaken in the latter, correct us +from what the child indicated." + +We should ask pardon of our readers for sullying our paper with this +nauseous matter, if without it they could adequately understand what +Mr. Home's book is. + + +9. CAGLIOSTRO'S SPIRIT CALLS ON MR. HOME + + +Prudently avoiding the disagreeable question of his giving himself, +both in this state of existence and in his spiritual circle, a name +to which he never had any pretensions whatever, and likewise +prudently suppressing any reference to his amiable weakness as a +swindler and an infamous trafficker in his own wife, the guileless +Mr. Balsamo delivered, in a "distinct voice", this distinct +celestial utterance--unquestionably punctuated in a supernatural +manner: "My power was that of a mesmerist, but all-misunderstood by +those about me, my biographers have even done me injustice, but I +care not for the untruths of earth". + + +10. ORACULAR STATE OF MR. HOME + + +"After various manifestations, Mr. Home went into the trance, and +addressing a person present, said, 'You ask what good are such +trivial manifestations, such as rapping, table-moving, etc.? God is +a better judge than we are what is fitted for humanity, immense +results may spring from trivial things. The steam from a kettle is +a small thing, but look at the locomotive! The electric spark from +the back of a cat is a small thing, but see the wonders of +electricity! The raps are small things, but their results will lead +you to the Spirit-World, and to eternity! Why should great results +spring from such small causes? Christ was born in a manger, he was +not born a King. When you tell me why he was born in a manger, I +will tell you why these manifestations, so trivial, so undignified +as they appear to you, have been appointed to convince the world of +the truth of spiritualism.'" + +Wonderful! Clearly direct Inspiration!--And yet, perhaps, hardly +worth the trouble of going "into the trance" for, either. Amazing +as the revelation is, we seem to have heard something like it from +more than one personage who was wide awake. A quack doctor, in an +open barouche (attended by a barrel-organ and two footmen in brass +helmets), delivered just such another address within our hearing, +outside a gate of Paris, not two months ago. + + +11. THE TESTIMONY OF MR. HOME'S BOOTS + + +"The lady of the house turned to me and said abruptly, 'Why, you are +sitting in the air'; and on looking, we found that the chair +remained in its place, but that I was elevated two or three inches +above it, and my feet not touching the floor. This may show how +utterly unconscious I am at times to the sensation of levitation. +As is usual, when I had not got above the level of the heads of +those about me, and when they change their position much--as they +frequently do in looking wistfully at such a phenomenon--I came down +again, but not till I had remained so raised about half a minute +from the time of its being first seen. I was now impressed to leave +the table, and was soon carried to the lofty ceiling. The Count de +B- left his place at the table, and coming under where I was, said, +'Now, young Home, come and let me touch your feet.' I told him I +had no volition in the matter, but perhaps the spirits would kindly +allow me to come down to him. They did so, by floating me down to +him, and my feet were soon in his outstretched hands. He seized my +boots, and now I was again elevated, he holding tightly, and pulling +at my feet, till the boots I wore, which had elastic sides, came off +and remained in his hands." + + +12. THE UNCOMBATIVE NATURE OF MR. HOME + + +As there is a maudlin complaint in this book, about men of Science +being hard upon "the 'Orphan' Home", and as the "gentle and +uncombative nature" of this Medium in a martyred point of view is +pathetically commented on by the anonymous literary friend who +supplies him with an introduction and appendix--rather at odds with +Mr. Howitt, who is so mightily triumphant about the same Martyr's +reception by crowned heads, and about the competence he has become +endowed with--we cull from Mr. Home's book one or two little +illustrative flowers. Sir David Brewster (a pestilent unbeliever) +"has come before the public in few matters which have brought more +shame upon him than his conduct and assertions on this occasion, in +which he manifested not only a disregard for truth, but also a +disloyalty to scientific observation, and to the use of his own +eyesight and natural faculties". The same unhappy Sir David +Brewster's "character may be the better known, not only for his +untruthful dealing with this subject, but also in his own domain of +science in which the same unfaithfulness to truth will be seen to be +the characteristic of his mind". Again, he "is really not a man +over whom victory is any honour". Again, "not only he, but +Professor Faraday have had time and ample leisure to regret that +they should have so foolishly pledged themselves", etc. A Faraday a +fool in the sight of a Home! That unjust judge and whited wall, +Lord Brougham, has his share of this Martyr Medium's +uncombativeness. "In order that he might not be compelled to deny +Sir David's statements, he found it necessary that he should be +silent, and I have some reason to complain that his Lordship +preferred sacrificing me to his desire not to immolate his friend." +M. Arago also came off with very doubtful honours from a wrestle +with the uncombative Martyr; who is perfectly clear (and so are we, +let us add) that scientific men are not the men for his purpose. Of +course, he is the butt of "utter and acknowledged ignorance", and of +"the most gross and foolish statements", and of "the unjust and +dishonest", and of "the press-gang", and of crowds of other alien +and combative adjectives, participles, and substantives. + +Nothing is without its use, and even this odious book may do some +service. Not because it coolly claims for the writer and his +disciples such powers as were wielded by the Saviour and the +Apostles; not because it sees no difference between twelve table +rappers in these days, and "twelve fishermen" in those; not because +it appeals for precedents to statements extracted from the most +ignorant and wretched of mankind, by cruel torture, and constantly +withdrawn when the torture was withdrawn; not because it sets forth +such a strange confusion of ideas as is presented by one of the +faithful when, writing of a certain sprig of geranium handed by an +invisible hand, he adds in ecstasies, "WHICH WE HAVE PLANTED AND IT +IS GROWING, SO THAT IT IS NO DELUSION, NO FAIRY MONEY TURNED INTO +DROSS OR LEAVES"--as if it followed that the conjuror's half-crowns +really did become invisible and in that state fly, because he +afterwards cuts them out of a real orange; or as if the conjuror's +pigeon, being after the discharge of his gun, a real live pigeon +fluttering on the target, must therefore conclusively be a pigeon, +fired, whole, living and unshattered, out of the gun!--not because +of the exposure of any of these weaknesses, or a thousand such, are +these moving incidents in the life of the Martyr Medium, and similar +productions, likely to prove useful, but because of their uniform +abuse of those who go to test the reality of these alleged +phenomena, and who come away incredulous. There is an old homely +proverb concerning pitch and its adhesive character, which we hope +this significant circumstance may impress on many minds. The writer +of these lines has lately heard overmuch touching young men of +promise in the imaginative arts, "towards whom" Martyr Mediums +assisting at evening parties feel themselves "drawn". It may be a +hint to such young men to stick to their own drawing, as being of a +much better kind, and to leave Martyr Mediums alone in their glory. + +As there is a good deal in these books about "lying spirits", we +will conclude by putting a hypothetical case. Supposing that a +Medium (Martyr or otherwise) were established for a time in the +house of an English gentleman abroad; say, somewhere in Italy. +Supposing that the more marvellous the Medium became, the more +suspicious of him the lady of the house became. Supposing that the +lady, her distrust once aroused, were particularly struck by the +Medium's exhibiting a persistent desire to commit her, somehow or +other, to the disclosure of the manner of the death, to him unknown, +of a certain person. Supposing that she at length resolved to test +the Medium on this head, and, therefore, on a certain evening +mentioned a wholly supposititious manner of death (which was not the +real manner of death, nor anything at all like it) within the range +of his listening ears. And supposing that a spirit presently +afterwards rapped out its presence, claiming to be the spirit of +that deceased person, and claiming to have departed this life in +that supposititious way. Would that be a lying spirit? Or would it +he a something else, tainting all that Medium's statements and +suppressions, even if they were not in themselves of a manifestly +outrageous character? + + + +THE LATE MR. STANFIELD + + + +Every Artist, be he writer, painter, musician, or actor, must bear +his private sorrows as he best can, and must separate them from the +exercise of his public pursuit. But it sometimes happens, in +compensation, that his private loss of a dear friend represents a +loss on the part of the whole community. Then he may, without +obtrusion of his individuality, step forth to lay his little wreath +upon that dear friend's grave. + +On Saturday, the eighteenth of this present month, Clarkson +Stanfield died. On the afternoon of that day, England lost the +great marine painter of whom she will be boastful ages hence; the +National Historian of her speciality, the Sea; the man famous in all +countries for his marvellous rendering of the waves that break upon +her shores, of her ships and seamen, of her coasts and skies, of her +storms and sunshine, of the many marvels of the deep. He who holds +the oceans in the hollow of His hand had given, associated with +them, wonderful gifts into his keeping; he had used them well +through threescore and fourteen years; and, on the afternoon of that +spring day, relinquished them for ever. + +It is superfluous to record that the painter of "The Battle of +Trafalgar", of the "Victory being towed into Gibraltar with the body +of Nelson on Board", of "The Morning after the Wreck", of "The +Abandoned", of fifty more such works, died in his seventy-fourth +year, "Mr." Stanfield.--He was an Englishman. + +Those grand pictures will proclaim his powers while paint and canvas +last. But the writer of these words had been his friend for thirty +years; and when, a short week or two before his death, he laid that +once so skilful hand upon the writer's breast and told him they +would meet again, "but not here", the thoughts of the latter turned, +for the time, so little to his noble genius, and so much to his +noble nature! + +He was the soul of frankness, generosity, and simplicity. The most +genial, the most affectionate, the most loving, and the most lovable +of men. Success had never for an instant spoiled him. His interest +in the Theatre as an Institution--the best picturesqueness of which +may be said to be wholly due to him--was faithful to the last. His +belief in a Play, his delight in one, the ease with which it moved +him to tears or to laughter, were most remarkable evidences of the +heart he must have put into his old theatrical work, and of the +thorough purpose and sincerity with which it must have been done. +The writer was very intimately associated with him in some amateur +plays; and day after day, and night after night, there were the same +unquenchable freshness, enthusiasm, and impressibility in him, +though broken in health, even then. + +No Artist can ever have stood by his art with a quieter dignity than +he always did. Nothing would have induced him to lay it at the feet +of any human creature. To fawn, or to toady, or to do undeserved +homage to any one, was an absolute impossibility with him. And yet +his character was so nicely balanced that he was the last man in the +world to be suspected of self-assertion, and his modesty was one of +his most special qualities. + +He was a charitable, religious, gentle, truly good man. A genuine +man, incapable of pretence or of concealment. He had been a sailor +once; and all the best characteristics that are popularly attributed +to sailors, being his, and being in him refined by the influences of +his Art, formed a whole not likely to be often seen. There is no +smile that the writer can recall, like his; no manner so naturally +confiding and so cheerfully engaging. When the writer saw him for +the last time on earth, the smile and the manner shone out once +through the weakness, still: the bright unchanging Soul within the +altered face and form. + +No man was ever held in higher respect by his friends, and yet his +intimate friends invariably addressed him and spoke of him by a pet +name. It may need, perhaps, the writer's memory and associations to +find in this a touching expression of his winning character, his +playful smile, and pleasant ways. "You know Mrs. Inchbald's story, +Nature and Art?" wrote Thomas Hood, once, in a letter: "What a fine +Edition of Nature and Art is Stanfield!" + +Gone! And many and many a dear old day gone with him! But their +memories remain. And his memory will not soon fade out, for he has +set his mark upon the restless waters, and his fame will long be +sounded in the roar of the sea. + + + +A SLIGHT QUESTION OF FACT + + + +It is never well for the public interest that the originator of any +social reform should be soon forgotten. Further, it is neither +wholesome nor right (being neither generous nor just) that the merit +of his work should be gradually transferred elsewhere. + +Some few weeks ago, our contemporary, the Pall Mall Gazette, in +certain strictures on our Theatres which we are very far indeed from +challenging, remarked on the first effectual discouragement of an +outrage upon decency which the lobbies and upper-boxes of even our +best Theatres habitually paraded within the last twenty or thirty +years. From those remarks it might appear as though no such Manager +of Covent Garden or Drury Lane as Mr. Macready had ever existed. + +It is a fact beyond all possibility of question, that Mr. Macready, +on assuming the management of Covent Garden Theatre in 1837, did +instantly set himself, regardless of precedent and custom down to +that hour obtaining, rigidly to suppress this shameful thing, and +did rigidly suppress and crush it during his whole management of +that theatre, and during his whole subsequent management of Drury +Lane. That he did so, as certainly without favour as without fear; +that he did so, against his own immediate interests; that he did so, +against vexations and oppositions which might have cooled the ardour +of a less earnest man, or a less devoted artist; can be better known +to no one than the writer of the present words, whose name stands at +the head of these pages. + + + +LANDOR'S LIFE + + + +Prefixed to the second volume of Mr. Forster's admirable biography +of Walter Savage Landor, {1} is an engraving from a portrait of that +remarkable man when seventy-seven years of age, by Boxall. The +writer of these lines can testify that the original picture is a +singularly good likeness, the result of close and subtle observation +on the part of the painter; but, for this very reason, the engraving +gives a most inadequate idea of the merit of the picture and the +character of the man. + +From the engraving, the arms and hands are omitted. In the picture, +they are, as they were in nature, indispensable to a correct reading +of the vigorous face. The arms were very peculiar. They were +rather short, and were curiously restrained and checked in their +action at the elbows; in the action of the hands, even when +separately clenched, there was the same kind of pause, and a +noticeable tendency to relaxation on the part of the thumb. Let the +face be never so intense or fierce, there was a commentary of +gentleness in the hands, essential to be taken along with it. Like +Hamlet, Landor would speak daggers, but use none. In the expression +of his hands, though angrily closed, there was always gentleness and +tenderness; just as when they were open, and the handsome old +gentleman would wave them with a little courtly flourish that sat +well upon him, as he recalled some classic compliment that he had +rendered to some reigning Beauty, there was a chivalrous grace about +them such as pervades his softer verses. Thus the fictitious Mr. +Boythorn (to whom we may refer without impropriety in this +connexion, as Mr. Forster does) declaims "with unimaginable energy" +the while his bird is "perched upon his thumb", and he "softly +smooths its feathers with his forefinger". + +From the spirit of Mr. Forster's Biography these characteristic +hands are never omitted, and hence (apart from its literary merits) +its great value. As the same masterly writer's Life and Times of +Oliver Goldsmith is a generous and yet conscientious picture of a +period, so this is a not less generous and yet conscientious picture +of one life; of a life, with all its aspirations, achievements, and +disappointments; all its capabilities, opportunities, and +irretrievable mistakes. It is essentially a sad book, and herein +lies proof of its truth and worth. The life of almost any man +possessing great gifts, would be a sad book to himself; and this +book enables us not only to see its subject, but to be its subject, +if we will. + +Mr. Forster is of opinion that "Landor's fame very surely awaits +him". This point admitted or doubted, the value of the book remains +the same. It needs not to know his works (otherwise than through +his biographer's exposition), it needs not to have known himself, to +find a deep interest in these pages. More or less of their warning +is in every conscience; and some admiration of a fine genius, and of +a great, wild, generous nature, incapable of mean self-extenuation +or dissimulation--if unhappily incapable of self-repression too-- +should be in every breast. "There may be still living many +persons", Walter Landor's brother, Robert, writes to Mr. Forster of +this book, "who would contradict any narrative of yours in which the +best qualities were remembered, the worst forgotten." Mr. Forster's +comment is: "I had not waited for this appeal to resolve, that, if +this memoir were written at all, it should contain, as far as might +lie within my power, a fair statement of the truth". And this +eloquent passage of truth immediately follows: "Few of his +infirmities are without something kindly or generous about them; and +we are not long in discovering there is nothing so wildly incredible +that he will not himself in perfect good faith believe. When he +published his first book of poems on quitting Oxford, the profits +were to be reserved for a distressed clergyman. When he published +his Latin poems, the poor of Leipzig were to have the sum they +realised. When his comedy was ready to be acted, a Spaniard who had +sheltered him at Castro was to be made richer by it. When he +competed for the prize of the Academy of Stockholm, it was to go to +the poor of Sweden. If nobody got anything from any one of these +enterprises, the fault at all events was not his. With his +extraordinary power of forgetting disappointments, he was prepared +at each successive failure to start afresh, as if each had been a +triumph. I shall have to delineate this peculiarity as strongly in +the last half as in the first half of his life, and it was certainly +an amiable one. He was ready at all times to set aside, out of his +own possessions, something for somebody who might please him for the +time; and when frailties of temper and tongue are noted, this other +eccentricity should not be omitted. He desired eagerly the love as +well as the good opinion of those whom for the time he esteemed, and +no one was more affectionate while under such influences. It is not +a small virtue to feel such genuine pleasure, as he always did in +giving and receiving pleasure. His generosity, too, was bestowed +chiefly on those who could make small acknowledgment in thanks and +no return in kind." + +Some of his earlier contemporaries may have thought him a vain man. +Most assuredly he was not, in the common acceptation of the term. A +vain man has little or no admiration to bestow upon competitors. +Landor had an inexhaustible fund. He thought well of his writings, +or he would not have preserved them. He said and wrote that he +thought well of them, because that was his mind about them, and he +said and wrote his mind. He was one of the few men of whom you +might always know the whole: of whom you might always know the +worst, as well as the best. He had no reservations or duplicities. +"No, by Heaven!" he would say ("with unimaginable energy"), if any +good adjective were coupled with him which he did not deserve: "I +am nothing of the kind. I wish I were; but I don't deserve the +attribute, and I never did, and I never shall!" His intense +consciousness of himself never led to his poorly excusing himself, +and seldom to his violently asserting himself. When he told some +little story of his bygone social experiences, in Florence, or where +not, as he was fond of doing, it took the innocent form of making +all the interlocutors, Landors. It was observable, too, that they +always called him "Mr. Landor"--rather ceremoniously and +submissively. There was a certain "Caro Pedre Abete Marina"-- +invariably so addressed in these anecdotes--who figured through a +great many of them, and who always expressed himself in this +deferential tone. + +Mr. Forster writes of Landor's character thus: + + +"A man must be judged, at first, by what he says and does. But with +him such extravagance as I have referred to was little more than the +habitual indulgence (on such themes) of passionate feelings and +language, indecent indeed but utterly purposeless; the mere +explosion of wrath provoked by tyranny or cruelty; the +irregularities of an overheated steam-engine too weak for its own +vapour. It is very certain that no one could detest oppression more +truly than Landor did in all seasons and times; and if no one +expressed that scorn, that abhorrence of tyranny and fraud, more +hastily or more intemperately, all his fire and fury signified +really little else than ill-temper too easily provoked. Not to +justify or excuse such language, but to explain it, this +consideration is urged. If not uniformly placable, Landor was +always compassionate. He was tender-hearted rather than bloody- +minded at all times, and upon only the most partial acquaintance +with his writings could other opinion be formed. A completer +knowledge of them would satisfy any one that he had as little real +disposition to kill a king as to kill a mouse. In fact there is not +a more marked peculiarity in his genius than the union with its +strength of a most uncommon gentleness, and in the personal ways of +the man this was equally manifest."--Vol. i. p. 496. + + +Of his works, thus: + + +"Though his mind was cast in the antique mould, it had opened itself +to every kind of impression through a long and varied life; he has +written with equal excellence in both poetry and prose, which can +hardly be said of any of his contemporaries; and perhaps the single +epithet by which his books would be best described is that reserved +exclusively for books not characterised only by genius, but also by +special individuality. They are unique. Having possessed them, we +should miss them. Their place would be supplied by no others. They +have that about them, moreover, which renders it almost certain that +they will frequently be resorted to in future time. There are none +in the language more quotable. Even where impulsiveness and want of +patience have left them most fragmentary, this rich compensation is +offered to the reader. There is hardly a conceivable subject, in +life or literature, which they do not illustrate by striking +aphorisms, by concise and profound observations, by wisdom ever +applicable to the deeds of men, and by wit as available for their +enjoyment. Nor, above all, will there anywhere be found a more +pervading passion for liberty, a fiercer hatred of the base, a wider +sympathy with the wronged and the oppressed, or help more ready at +all times for those who fight at odds and disadvantage against the +powerful and the fortunate, than in the writings of Walter Savage +Landor."--Last page of second volume. + + +The impression was strong upon the present writer's mind, as on Mr. +Forster's, during years of close friendship with the subject of this +biography, that his animosities were chiefly referable to the +singular inability in him to dissociate other people's ways of +thinking from his own. He had, to the last, a ludicrous grievance +(both Mr. Forster and the writer have often amused themselves with +it) against a good-natured nobleman, doubtless perfectly unconscious +of having ever given him offence. The offence was, that on the +occasion of some dinner party in another nobleman's house, many +years before, this innocent lord (then a commoner) had passed in to +dinner, through some door, before him, as he himself was about to +pass in through that same door with a lady on his arm. Now, Landor +was a gentleman of most scrupulous politeness, and in his carriage +of himself towards ladies there was a certain mixture of stateliness +and deference, belonging to quite another time, and, as Mr. Pepys +would observe, "mighty pretty to see". If he could by any effort +imagine himself committing such a high crime and misdemeanour as +that in question, he could only imagine himself as doing it of a set +purpose, under the sting of some vast injury, to inflict a great +affront. A deliberately designed affront on the part of another +man, it therefore remained to the end of his days. The manner in +which, as time went on, he permeated the unfortunate lord's ancestry +with this offence, was whimsically characteristic of Landor. The +writer remembers very well when only the individual himself was held +responsible in the story for the breach of good breeding; but in +another ten years or so, it began to appear that his father had +always been remarkable for ill manners; and in yet another ten years +or so, his grandfather developed into quite a prodigy of coarse +behaviour. + +Mr. Boythorn--if he may again be quoted--said of his adversary, Sir +Leicester Dedlock: "That fellow is, AND HIS FATHER WAS, AND HIS +GRANDFATHER WAS, the most stiff-necked, arrogant, imbecile, pig- +headed numskull, ever, by some inexplicable mistake of Nature, born +in any station of life but a walking-stick's!" + +The strength of some of Mr. Landor's most captivating kind qualities +was traceable to the same source. Knowing how keenly he himself +would feel the being at any small social disadvantage, or the being +unconsciously placed in any ridiculous light, he was wonderfully +considerate of shy people, or of such as might be below the level of +his usual conversation, or otherwise out of their element. The +writer once observed him in the keenest distress of mind in behalf +of a modest young stranger who came into a drawing-room with a glove +on his head. An expressive commentary on this sympathetic +condition, and on the delicacy with which he advanced to the young +stranger's rescue, was afterwards furnished by himself at a friendly +dinner at Gore House, when it was the most delightful of houses. +His dress--say, his cravat or shirt-collar--had become slightly +disarranged on a hot evening, and Count D'Orsay laughingly called +his attention to the circumstance as we rose from table. Landor +became flushed, and greatly agitated: "My dear Count D'Orsay, I +thank you! My dear Count D'Orsay, I thank you from my soul for +pointing out to me the abominable condition to which I am reduced! +If I had entered the Drawing-room, and presented myself before Lady +Blessington in so absurd a light, I would have instantly gone home, +put a pistol to my head, and blown my brains out!" + +Mr. Forster tells a similar story of his keeping a company waiting +dinner, through losing his way; and of his seeing no remedy for that +breach of politeness but cutting his throat, or drowning himself, +unless a countryman whom he met could direct him by a short road to +the house where the party were assembled. Surely these are +expressive notes on the gravity and reality of his explosive +inclinations to kill kings! + +His manner towards boys was charming, and the earnestness of his +wish to be on equal terms with them and to win their confidence was +quite touching. Few, reading Mr. Forster's book, can fall to see in +this, his pensive remembrance of that "studious wilful boy at once +shy and impetuous", who had not many intimacies at Rugby, but who +was "generally popular and respected, and used his influence often +to save the younger boys from undue harshness or violence". The +impulsive yearnings of his passionate heart towards his own boy, on +their meeting at Bath, after years of separation, likewise burn +through this phase of his character. + +But a more spiritual, softened, and unselfish aspect of it, was to +derived from his respectful belief in happiness which he himself had +missed. His marriage had not been a felicitous one--it may be +fairly assumed for either side--but no trace of bitterness or +distrust concerning other marriages was in his mind. He was never +more serene than in the midst of a domestic circle, and was +invariably remarkable for a perfectly benignant interest in young +couples and young lovers. That, in his ever-fresh fancy, he +conceived in this association innumerable histories of himself +involving far more unlikely events that never happened than Isaac +D'Israeli ever imagined, is hardly to be doubted; but as to this +part of his real history he was mute, or revealed his nobleness in +an impulse to be generously just. We verge on delicate ground, but +a slight remembrance rises in the writer which can grate nowhere. +Mr. Forster relates how a certain friend, being in Florence, sent +him home a leaf from the garden of his old house at Fiesole. That +friend had first asked him what he should send him home, and he had +stipulated for this gift--found by Mr. Forster among his papers +after his death. The friend, on coming back to England, related to +Landor that he had been much embarrassed, on going in search of the +leaf, by his driver's suddenly stopping his horses in a narrow lane, +and presenting him (the friend) to "La Signora Landora". The lady +was walking alone on a bright Italian-winter-day; and the man, +having been told to drive to the Villa Landora, inferred that he +must be conveying a guest or visitor. "I pulled off my hat," said +the friend, "apologised for the coachman's mistake, and drove on. +The lady was walking with a rapid and firm step, had bright eyes, a +fine fresh colour, and looked animated and agreeable." Landor +checked off each clause of the description, with a stately nod of +more than ready assent, and replied, with all his tremendous energy +concentrated into the sentence: "And the Lord forbid that I should +do otherwise than declare that she always WAS agreeable--to every +one but ME!" + +Mr. Forster step by step builds up the evidence on which he writes +this life and states this character. In like manner, he gives the +evidence for his high estimation of Landor's works, and--it may be +added--for their recompense against some neglect, in finding so +sympathetic, acute, and devoted a champion. Nothing in the book is +more remarkable than his examination of each of Landor's successive +pieces of writing, his delicate discernment of their beauties, and +his strong desire to impart his own perceptions in this wise to the +great audience that is yet to come. It rarely befalls an author to +have such a commentator: to become the subject of so much artistic +skill and knowledge, combined with such infinite and loving pains. +Alike as a piece of Biography, and as a commentary upon the beauties +of a great writer, the book is a massive book; as the man and the +writer were massive too. Sometimes, when the balance held by Mr. +Forster has seemed for a moment to turn a little heavily against the +infirmities of temperament of a grand old friend, we have felt +something of a shock; but we have not once been able to gainsay the +justice of the scales. This feeling, too, has only fluttered out of +the detail, here or there, and has vanished before the whole. We +fully agree with Mr. Forster that "judgment has been passed"--as it +should be--"with an equal desire to be only just on all the +qualities of his temperament which affected necessarily not his own +life only. But, now that the story is told, no one will have +difficulty in striking the balance between its good and ill; and +what was really imperishable in Landor's genius will not be +treasured less, or less understood, for the more perfect knowledge +of his character". + +Mr. Forster's second volume gives a facsimile of Landor's writing at +seventy-five. It may be interesting to those who are curious in +calligraphy, to know that its resemblance to the recent handwriting +of that great genius, M. Victor Hugo, is singularly strong. + +In a military burial-ground in India, the name of Walter Landor is +associated with the present writer's over the grave of a young +officer. No name could stand there, more inseparably associated in +the writer's mind with the dignity of generosity: with a noble +scorn of all littleness, all cruelty, oppression, fraud, and false +pretence. + + + +ADDRESS WHICH APPEARED SHORTLY PREVIOUS TO THE COMPLETION OF THE +TWENTIETH VOLUME (1868), INTIMATING A NEW SERIES OF "ALL THE YEAR +ROUND" + + + +I beg to announce to the readers of this Journal, that on the +completion of the Twentieth Volume on the Twenty-eighth of November, +in the present year, I shall commence an entirely New Series of All +the Year Round. The change is not only due to the convenience of +the public (with which a set of such books, extending beyond twenty +large volumes, would be quite incompatible), but is also resolved +upon for the purpose of effecting some desirable improvements in +respect of type, paper, and size of page, which could not otherwise +be made. To the Literature of the New Series it would not become me +to refer, beyond glancing at the pages of this Journal, and of its +predecessor, through a score of years; inasmuch as my regular +fellow-labourers and I will be at our old posts, in company with +those younger comrades, whom I have had the pleasure of enrolling +from time to time, and whose number it is always one of my +pleasantest editorial duties to enlarge. + +As it is better that every kind of work honestly undertaken and +discharged, should speak for itself than be spoken for, I will only +remark further on one intended omission in the New Series. The +Extra Christmas Number has now been so extensively, and regularly, +and often imitated, that it is in very great danger of becoming +tiresome. I have therefore resolved (though I cannot add, +willingly) to abolish it, at the highest tide of its success. + +CHARLES DICKENS. + + + +Footnotes: + +{1} Walter Savage Landor: a Biography, by John Forster, 2 vols. +Chapman and Hall. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext of Contributions to: All The Year Round + |