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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:44:51 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/14578-0.txt b/14578-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..79cd7f9 --- /dev/null +++ b/14578-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9493 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14578 *** + +FROM DEATH TO LIFE: Twenty Years of My Ministry. + +BY + +Rev. William Haslam, + +(Late Incumbent of Curzon Chapel, Mayfair) + +Reprinted by Rev. W. J. Watchorn. + +This edition completes 130,000 copies. + +Standard Book Room, Brockville, Ontario + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER 1 +The Broken Nest, 1841. + +CHAPTER 2 +Religious Life. + +CHAPTER 3 +Ordination. + +CHAPTER 4 +Antiquarian Researches and Ministry, 1843-46. + +CHAPTER 5 +The New Parish, 1846. + +CHAPTER 6 +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +CHAPTER 7 +Conversion, 1851. + +CHAPTER 8 +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +CHAPTER 9 +The Visitor, 1851. + +CHAPTER 10 +The First Christmas, 1851-52. + +CHAPTER 11 +Dreams and Visions, 1851-4. + +CHAPTER 12 +Billy Bray, 1852. + +CHAPTER 13 +Cottage Meetings, 1852. + +CHAPTER 14 +Open-Air Services, 1852. + +CHAPTER 15 +Drawing-Room Meetings, 1852-53. + +CHAPTER 16 +Opposition, 1853. + +CHAPTER 17 +Individual Cases, 1853. + +CHAPTER 18 +A Visit to Veryan, 1853. + +CHAPTER 19 +A Mission in the "Shires." 1853. + +CHAPTER 20 +A Stranger from London, 1853. + +CHAPTER 21 +Golant Mission, 1854. + +CHAPTER 22 +The High Church Rector, 1854. + +CHAPTER 23 +A Mission in Staffordshire, 1854. + +CHAPTER 24 +Sanctification. + +CHAPTER 25 +The Removal, 1855 + +CHAPTER 26 +Plymouth, 1855 + +CHAPTER 27 +Devonport, 1855 + +CHAPTER 28 +A Mission to the North, 1855 + +CHAPTER 29 +Tregoney, 1855 + +CHAPTER 30 +Secessions, 1856 + +CHAPTER 31 +Hayle, 1857-58 + +CHAPTER 32 +Bible Readings, 1858-59 + +CHAPTER 33 +The Work Continued, 1859 + +CHAPTER 34 +The Dismissal, 1860-61 + + +INTRODUCTION + +This volume is not so much a history of my own life, as of the Lord's +dealings with me; setting forth how He wrought in and by me during the +space of twenty years. It will be observed that this is not, as +biographies generally are, an account of life on to death; but rather +the other way--a narrative of transition from death into life, and that +in more senses than one. + +I had been given over by three physicians to die, but it pleased the +Lord, in answer to prayer, to raise me up again. My restored health and +strength I thankfully devoted to a religious and earnest life. In the +height and seeming prosperity of this, the Lord awakened me to see that +I was dead in trespasses and sins; still far from Him; resting on my own +works; and going about to establish my own righteousness, instead of +submitting to the righteousness of God. Then He quickened me by the Holy +Ghost, and raised me up into a new and spiritual life. + +In this volume the reader will meet with the respective results of (what +I have called) the Religious, as distinguished from the Spiritual, life. +The former produced only outward and ecclesiastical effects, while the +latter brought forth fruit in the salvation of souls, to the praise and +glory of God. + +One object in writing this book is to warn and instruct earnest-minded +souls, who are, as I was once, strangers to the experience of salvation, +seeking rest where I am sure they can never find it, and labouring to do +good to others when they have not yet received that good themselves. +They are vainly "building from the top;" trying to live before they are +born; to become holy before they have become justified; and to lead +others to conversion before they have been converted themselves. + +A second object is--to draw the attention of every earnest, seeking, or +anxious soul, to consider the Lord's marvellous goodness in first +bearing with me in my religious wanderings, and then using me for His +glory in the salvation of hundreds. + +Another desire I have is--to cheer the hearts of believers who are +working for God, by relating to them what He has done through me, and +can do again, by the simple preaching of the Gospel. Here the reader +will meet with narratives of the Lord's work in individual cases, in +congregations, and in parishes--wonderful things which are worthy of +record. + +I have not shunned to tell of the mistakes I fell into after my +conversion, hoping that others may take heed and profit by them; and +then I shall not have written in vain. + + + + +CHAPTER 1 + +The Broken Nest, 1841. + +At the time in which this history begins, I had, in the providence of +God, a very happy nest; and as far as temporal prospects were concerned, +I was provided for to my liking, and, though not rich, was content. I +had taken my degree; was about to be ordained; and, what is more, was +engaged to be married; in order, as I thought, to settle down as an +efficient country parson. + +With this bright future before me, I went on very happily; when, one +evening, after a hard and tiring day, just as I was sitting down to +rest, a letter was put into my hand which had been following me for +several days. "Most urgent" was written on the outside. It told me of +the alarming illness of the lady to whom I was engaged, and went on to +say that if I wished to see her alive I must set off with all haste. It +took me a very short time to pack my bag and get my travelling coats and +rugs together, so that I was all ready to start by the night mail. At +eight o'clock punctually I left London for the journey of two hundred +and eighty miles. All that night I sat outside the coach; all the next +day; and part of the following night. I shall never forget the misery of +mind and body that I experienced, for I was tired before starting; and +the fatigue of sitting up all night, together with the intense cold of +the small hours of the morning, were almost beyond endurance. With the +morning, however, came a warm and bright sunshine, which in some degree +helped to cheer me; but my bodily suffering was so great that I could +never have held up had it not been for the mental eagerness with which I +longed to get forward. It was quite consonant with my feelings when the +horses were put into full gallop, especially when they were tearing down +one hill to get an impetus to mount another. + +At length, the long, long journey was over; and about thirty hours after +starting, I found myself staggering along to the well-known house. As I +approached the door was softly opened by a relative who for several days +had been anxiously watching my arrival. She at once conducted me +upstairs, to what I expected was a sick chamber, when, to my horror, the +first thing I saw was the lid of a coffin standing up against the wall, +and in the middle of the room was the coffin, with candles burning on +either side. + +I nearly fell to the ground with this tremendous shock and surprise. +There was the dear face, but it seemed absorbed in itself, and to have +lost all regard for me. It no longer turned to welcome me, nor was the +hand stretched out, as theretofore, to meet mine. All was still; there +was no smile--no voice--no welcome-nothing but the silence of death to +greet me. + +The sight of that coffin, with its quiet inmate, did not awaken sorrow +so much as surprise; and with that, something like anger and rebellion. +I was weak and exhausted in body, but strong in wilful insubordination. +Murmuring and complaining, I spoke unadvisedly with my lips. + +A gentle voice upbraided me, adding, that I had far better kneel down in +submission to God, and say "Thy will be done!" This, however, was not so +easy, for the demon of rebellion had seized me, and kept me for three +hours in a tempest of anger, filling my mind with hard thoughts against +God. I walked about the room in the most perturbed state of mind, so +much so, that I grieved my friends, who came repeatedly to ask me to +kneel down and say, "Thy will be done!" "Kneel down--just kneel down!" +At length I did so, and while some one was praying, my tears began to +flow, and I said the words, "Thy will be done!" Immediately the spell +was broken and I was enabled to say from my heart, again and again, "Thy +will be done!" After this I was conscious of a marvellous change in +mind; rebellion was gone, and resignation had come in its place. More +than that, the dear face in the coffin seemed to lie smiling in peace, +so calm and so lovely, that I felt I would not recall the spirit that +was fled, even if it bad been possible. There was wrought in me +something more than submission, even a lifting-up of my will to the will +of God; and withal, such a love towards Him that I wondered at myself. +God had been, as it were, a stranger to me before. Now I felt as though +I knew and loved Him, and could kiss His hand, though my tears flowed +freely. + +The funeral took place the same morning: it was a time of great emotion; +sorrow and joy met, and flowed together. I thought of the dear one I had +lost, but yet more of the God of love I had found; and to remember that +she was with Him was an additional comfort to me. The funeral service +was soothing and elevating beyond expression; and yet, when it was all +over, such a sense of desolation came upon me, that I felt utterly +forlorn and truly sad. + +My nest was now completely stirred up; but instead of bemoaning its +broken state, I could see the eagle fluttering over her young ones +(Deut. 32:1). I was conscious that God was looking on, and that He had +not forsaken me in this great wreck. + +The strain and excitement I had undergone naturally brought on an +illness. I was seized with inflammation of the lungs, and was +dangerously ill. From this, and other complications which supervened, +the doctor pronounced that I could not recover, and bade me prepare for +eternity. + +Judges and doctors, when they pass sentence of death, seem to regard +religion as necessary preparation for it. Too common, also, is this +idea, even among those who do not belong to these respected professions. +My own opinion was much the same at that time. + +Having received this solemn warning, I took down the Prayer-book, and +religiously read over the office for the Visitation of the Sick. I +became so interested in this exercise, that I determined to read it +three times a day. The prayer for a sick child especially commended +itself to my mind, so that, by changing a few words, I made it +applicable to my own case, and used it not only three, but even seven, +times a day. In substance, it petitioned that I might be taken to heaven +if I died; or that, if it should please God to restore my health, He +would let me live to His glory. I did not at that time expect my days +would be prolonged, nor had I any wish to live, for the world was now +perfectly blank and desolate to me. I felt as if I could never be happy +again; to be with God would be far better! + +I little dreamed that if I had died in that unpardoned and Christless +state, I should have been lost forever; for I was profoundly ignorant of +the necessity of change of heart--perfectly unconscious that I must be +born again of the Spirit. This vital truth had never come to my mind; I +felt a love for God, and in my ignorance I wished to die. + +One morning the thought came to me, as I was sitting all alone by the +fire, "What have I been praying for?--that the Lord would take me to +heaven if I died; or, if I lived, that He would let me live to His glory?" +Why, this is heaven both ways!--heaven in heaven, or heaven on +earth--whichever way it pleases God to answer my prayer. Somehow I felt +certain that He would answer it. I was exceedingly happy, and could not +help thanking Him. From that day I began to feel better, and became +impressed with the idea that I was to live, and not die. The doctor +smiled at me when I told him so, for he did not believe it. He, and two +other physicians, had told me that my lungs were diseased; indeed, six +months afterwards, all three sounded me, and declared that one lung was +inoperative, and the other much affected. + +Yet, notwithstanding the doctor's discouraging announcement--for he told +me, also, that "it was one of the fatal signs of consumption for the +patient to feel or think he was getting better"--I had a certain +conviction that I was to recover. As soon as the medical man had gone, I +put on my coat and hat and went out for a walk. I trembled much from +weakness, and found it necessary to move very slowly and stop often; but +under the shelter of a wall, courting the warmth of the bright-shining +sun, I managed to make my way to the churchyard. + +While I was sitting there alone, the great bell struck out unexpectedly, +and caused me to shake all over; for I was in a very weak condition. It +was the sexton tolling to announce the departure of the soul of some +villager from the world. Having done this, he came out with his boards +and tools to dig the grave. He did not observe me sitting by; so he at +once commenced, and went on diligently with his work. The ground had so +often been broken before that it did not take him long to accomplish his +task; he gradually got deeper and deeper into the ground, till he +disappeared altogether from my sight. I crept to the edge of the narrow +pit in which he was, and looking into it, I could not help thinking of +those words of Kirke White-- + +"Cold grave, methinks, 'twere sweet to rest +Within thy calm and hallowed breast!" + +I had no fear of death, but rather felt that I should welcome it even +more than restoration to health. + +I have even now a most vivid remembrance of this, and place it on record +to show how delusive' are our feelings: because I did not feel any +danger, I took it for granted that there really was none. That day, +however, was an eventful one in my life; for, in the gladness of my +heart, I gave myself to God, to live for Him. I had given my will +before, and now I gave my life, and was happy in the deed. I did not +know at that time that faith does not consist in believing that I have +given myself, even if I meant it ever so sincerely; but in believing +that God has taken or accepted me. + +At the outset, I began with the former--a merely human faith--and its +result was consequently imperfect. I was spiritually dead, and did not +know it. Alas! What multitudes there are who are utterly unconscious of +the fact of this spiritual death, though there are few things more +plainly declared and revealed in the Word of God. + +The full meaning of the word death is too often misunderstood and +overlooked. There are three kinds referred to in the Word of +God--spiritual, natural, and everlasting. The first is a separation of +the soul from God; the second, that of the body from the soul; and the +last, that of the unbelieving man, body and soul, from God forever. + +It will be seen that there is one characteristic which is common to all +three kinds--that is, separation; and that there is no idea of +finality--death is not the end. When the Lord God created man, we +suppose that He made him not merely in the form of a body, but a man +with body and soul complete; and afterwards that He breathed into this +living man the Spirit, and he became a living soul. As such, he communed +with the eternal God, who is a Spirit. In this spiritual state he could +walk and converse with God in the garden of Eden. When, however, he +disobeyed the command which had been given to him, he incurred the +tremendous penalty. The Lord God had said, "In the day that you eat of +the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall surely die." He +did eat, and he died there and then; that is, he forfeited that 'Spirit +which had quickened his soul, and thus became a dead soul; though, as we +know, he remained a living man for nine hundred years before his body +returned to its dust. + +By his one act of disobedience, Adam opened in an instant (as an +earthquake opens a deep chasm) the great gulf, the impassable gulf of +separation which is fixed between us and God. By nature, as the children +of Adam, we are all on the side which is away from God; and we are +become subject also to the sentence pronounced against the life of the +body. We know and understand that we are mortal, and that it is +appointed unto men once to die; but we do not seem to be aware of the +more important fact of the death of our souls. Satan, who said to our +first parents, "Ye shall not surely die," employs himself now in +deceiving men by saying, "Ye are not dead;" and multitudes believe him, +and take it for granted that it is actually true. Thus they go on +unconcerned about this awful and stupendous reality. + + + +CHAPTER 2 + +Religious Life. + +With returning health and strength, I did not think of going back into +the world, but rather gave myself more fully to the purpose for which I +supposed that my life had been restored. I felt a thankfulness and joy +in my recovery, which confirmed me more and more in my determination to +live to the glory of God. + +When I was able to return to the South, I did so by easy stages till I +got back to the neighbourhood of London; and there it was ordered that I +should be shut up for the remainder of the winter. + +During this season of retirement, I spent my time most happily in +reading and prayer, and found great delight in this occupation. I was +able to say, with the Psalmist, "I love the Lord, because He has heard +my voice and my supplication;" and, like him, I could say, "I will call +upon Him as long as I live; I will walk before Him in the land of the +living; and I will take the cup of salvation and call upon the name of +the Lord." That is, in secret or private life; in social intercourse +with my fellow-men; and in the worship of the sanctuary, I will seek the +glory of God. I used to have much pleasure every day in asking God to +give me a deeper sense of His love, that I might unfeignedly thank Him, +and show forth His praise with my life as well as my lips. + +All this, be it observed, was because God had saved not my soul, but my +life; for as yet I had not, like the Psalmist, felt any trouble about my +soul. I knew nothing of what he describes as the "sorrows of death and +the pains of hell." I had not been awakened by the Spirit to know the +danger and sorrow of being separated from God (which is spiritual +death). I was perfectly unconscious that between God and myself there +was the "impassable gulf" I have already referred to, and consequently I +had not experienced such overwhelming anxiety as made the Psalmist cry +out, "O Lord, I beseech Thee, deliver my soul." I knew nothing of the +necessity of passing from death to life, and therefore I could not say, +"The Lord has delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my +feet from falling." + +The only thing I knew was that God was good to me, and therefore I loved +Him, and was thankful, not for the sake of getting His favour, but +because I thought I had it. I turned over a new leaf, and 'therewith +covered up the blotted page of my past life. On this new path I +endeavoured to walk as earnestly in a religious way, as I had before +lived in a worldly one. + +This mistake into which I fell was natural enough and common as it is +natural; but for all this it was very serious, and might have been fatal +to me, as it has proved to multitudes. I did not see then, as I have +since that turning over a new leaf to cover the past, is not by any +means the same thing as turning back the old leaves, and getting them +washed in the blood of the Lamb. + +I have said before that I did not know any better; nor was I likely to +see matters in a clearer light from the line of study in which I was +chiefly occupied. I was absorbed for the time, not so much in the Bible +as in the "Tracts for the Times"--a publication which was engaging much +attention. These Oxford tracts suited me exactly, and fitted my tone of +mind to a nicety. Their object was the restoration of the Church of +England from a cold, formal condition, into something like reality--from +a secular to a religious state; this also was my own present object for +myself. I read these writings with avidity, and formed from them certain +ecclesiastical proclivities which carried me on with renewed zeal. + +I suppose I learned from the perusal of them to interpret the Bible by +the Prayer-book, and to regard the former as a book which no one could +understand without the interpretation of the Fathers. Certain it is, +that I did not look to the Bible, but to the Church, for teaching, for I +was led to consider that private judgment on the subject of Scripture +statements was very presumptuous. I got, moreover, into a legal state, +and thought my acceptance with God depended upon my works, and that His +future favour would result upon my faithfulness and attention to works +of righteousness which I was doing. This made me very diligent in +prayer, fasting, and almsdeeds; and I often sat and dreamed about the +works of mercy and devotion which I would do when I was permitted to go +out again. + +Like persons in this state of mind, I also relied on ordinances, and was +subject to them. I took it for granted that I was a child of God, +because I had been baptized and brought into the Church; and having been +confirmed and admitted to the Lord's Table, I concluded that I was +safely on the way to Heaven. I see now the error of this very earnest +devotion, and that I was going about to establish my own righteousness +instead of submitting to the righteousness of God. I like to remember +these days and tell of them, not because I am proud of them-far +otherwise; but because they show the kind forbearance and patience of +God towards me, and, besides this, they give me a clearer idea of the +state of very many earnest people I meet with, who enter upon a +religious path in much the same way. + +Such persons make the two mistakes already referred to. They start with +believing in their surrender of themselves, instead of God's acceptance +of it; and secondly, they make their continuance therein depend upon +their repeated acts of devotion. They live and walk by their own works, +not by faith in the finished work of Christ. What shall I say to these +things? Shall I denounce them as delusions, or superstitious legality? +No. I would far rather that people should be even thus religious than be +without religious observances--far rather that they should be subject to +the Prayer-book teaching than be the sport of their own vain imaginings. +If men have not given their hearts to God and received forgiveness of +sins, it is better that they should give themselves to a Church than +yield themselves to the world and its vanities. + +If I had to go over the ground again under the same circumstances, I do +not think I could take a better path. Church teaching by itself, with +all its legalities, is superior to a man's own inventions; and the form +of godliness required by it, even without spiritual power, is better +than no form or profession of religion. + +To say the least, Church teachings, when it is correctly followed, +instructs the conscience, restrains and guides the will, and imparts a +practical morality which we do not find in any other system. I have more +hope of people who rest in some distinctive and positive dogmas than of +those who merely deal with negations. The former may be reached by +spiritual teaching; the latter are but shadowy adversaries with whom it +is impossible to engage. + +Therefore, when I see a man, for conscience towards God, giving up the +world, and taking up with reverential worship, with even superstitious +veneration for ecclesiastical things, because they are so--when I see a +man, who was careless before, become conscientious and true in all his +outward dealings, very particular in his observance of private and +public prayer, exercising self-denial, living for others rather than +himself, bearing and forbearing in all quietness and meekness--I cannot +do otherwise than admire him. This, surely, is far more lovely and +admirable than the opposite of these things. + +Instead of joining in the outcry against such persons, I feel rather in +sympathy, and have a desire in my heart to win them to still better +things, and to show them "the way of God more perfectly." I feel that +they are stirred as I was, and are struggling in self-righteousness, not +because they wilfully prefer it to God's righteousness, but because they +are yearning for true and spiritual reality. They are in a transition +state, and the more restless they are, the more assured I am that they +will never attain real rest and satisfaction to their souls till they +have found God, and are found of Him in Christ Jesus. + +But the question may be asked, "Is it possible for unsaved people +(spiritually dead) to be so good and religious? Is not such a state an +indication of spiritual vitality?" I answer, without hesitation, that it +is possible. Religion by itself, irrespective of the subject-matter of a +creed, may have a quieting and controlling effect upon the soul. The +Hindoo, the Moslem, the Jew, the Romanist, as well as the Protestant, +may each and all be wonderfully self-possessed, zealous, devout, or +teachable, or even all these together, and yet remain dead souls. + +As a boy in India, I remember being greatly struck with the calmness of +the Hindoos, as contrasted with the impatience and angry spirit of the +English. On one occasion I observed one of the former at his devotions. +He, with others, had been carrying me about in a palankeen all day in +the hot sun. In the evening, he most reverently took from his girdle a +piece of mud of the sacred river Ganges, or Gunga, as they call it, and +dissolving this in water, he washed a piece of ground, then, having +washed his feet and hands, he stepped on this sacred spot, and began to +cook his food. While it was preparing, he was bowed to the ground, with +his face between his knees, worshipping towards the setting sun. A boy +who was standing by me said, "If you touch that man he will not eat his +dinner." In a thoughtless moment I did so with my hand, and immediately +he rose from his devotions; but, instead of threatening and swearing at +me, as some might have done who belong to another religion, he only +looked reproachfully, and said, "Ah, Master William!" and then emptying +out the rice which was on the fire, he began his ceremony all over +again. It was quite dark before he had finished his "poojah," or +worship, and his meal. This man's religious self-possession made a +greater impression on me than if he had abused or even struck me, for +hindering his dinner. I thought to myself, "I will be a Hindoo when I +grow up!" And truly I kept my word, though not in the same form; for +what else was I in my earnest, religious days! + +This is an important question to settle, and, therefore, I will give +three examples from Scripture. + +No one can doubt the zeal of Saul of Tarsus. This was no easy-going, +charitable creed, which supposes all good men are right. He was sure +that if he was right, as a natural consequence Stephen was wrong, even +blasphemous, and as such worthy of death. Therefore, he had no scruples +about instigating the death of such a one. Notwithstanding all this +uncompromising and straightforward religiousness, he needed to be +brought from death to life. + +Again: look at Cornelius, who was "a devout man that feared God with all +his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway" +(Acts 10:2). There can be no mistake about this man with such a +testimony; and yet he also needed to hear words whereby he and all his +house should be saved (Acts 11:14). Next: Nicodemus, I suppose it will +be admitted, was an earnest and religious man. Evidently, he was one of +those who "believed in the name of Jesus, because he saw the miracles +which He did" (John 2:23). This man, humble and teachable as he was, +came to Jesus, and said, "Rabbi, we know that Thou art a teacher come +from God, for no man can do these miracles that Thou doest, except God +be with him." Yet he was told, "Except a man be born again, he cannot +see the kingdom of God." "Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be +born again" (John 3). As surely as all mankind are dead in Adam, so +surely every man needs spiritual life. In this respect it was no new +thing which the Lord Jesus propounded to Nicodemus. The spiritual change +of heart he referred to has always been the one condition of intercourse +with God. All God's saints, even in the Old Testament times, had +experienced 'this. Hence the Lord's exclamation, "Art thou a master of +Israel, and knowest not these things?" + +It may be urged that these three men were not in the Christian +dispensation. Let this be granted; but the point at hand is that they +needed spiritual life, though they were such good religious men. It will +not be very hard to prove that even baptized men in the Christian +dispensation need to be raised from death unto life just as much as any +other children of Adam. It is clear, both from Scripture and experience, +that baptism, whatever else it imparts, does not give spiritual +vitality. + +St. Peter's testimony is this, "Of a truth I perceive that God is no +respecter of persons; but in every nation he that feareth Him and +worketh righteousness is accepted with Him" (Acts 10: 34, 35). Accepted +to be saved, not because there is any merit in his works, but because +God sees that there is real sincerity in his living up to the light he +has. The heathen who know there is a God, and do not worship His as God, +are given over to idolatry (Rom.1); but, on the other hand, those who do +worship Him, and give Him thanks, are taken in hand to be guided into +life and truth. Therefore are we justified in hoping that earnest and +religious men, though they be dead, if their religion is really towards +God, will be brought to spiritual life. + +It was a happy winter to me, however, notwithstanding my spiritual +deficiencies; and the recollection of it still abides in my memory. I +had now no desire for the world and its pleasures. My mind had quite +gone from such empty amusements and frivolities; even the taste I used +to have for these things was completely taken away. + +I was happier now than ever I had been before, so that I am convinced +from personal experience that even a religious life may be one of joy, +though by no means so satisfying and abiding as a truly spiritual one. I +was happy, as I have already said, and longed for the time when I could +be ordained, and devote my energies to work for God in the ministry. + + +CHAPTER 3 + +Ordination and First Parish, 1842. + +On the returning spring, as I was feeling so much stronger, and +altogether better, I thought I would go and see the physician who had +sounded me some months before. He, after a careful examination, still +adhered to his previous opinion, and gave very little hope of my +recovery, but suggested that if I went to the north coast of Cornwall +there might be a chance for me. + +On my return home, I took up an "Ecclesiastical Gazette," though it was +three months old, and looked over the advertisements. There I observed +one which invited a curate for a church in that very neighbourhood. It +was a sole charge; but, strange to say, a title for holy orders was +offered also. In reply to this I wrote a letter, asking for particulars, +in which I stated my Church views, and that I was ordered to that part +of the country for the benefit of my health. + +The Vicar, who resided in another parish, thirty miles off, was so eager +to get help for this one, that he wrote back to say he had sent my +letter to the Bishop, with one from himself, and that I should hear from +his lordship in a few days. + +I was surprised at this precipitation of affairs, and all the more so +when I received a note from the Bishop of Exeter (Phillpotts), bidding +me come to him immediately, that I might be in time for the Lent +ordination. + +Accordingly, I started westward, and having passed my examination, I was +sent with letters dimissory to the Bishop of Salisbury (Denison), to +whom I was also sent, a year afterwards, for priest's orders. I was very +weak, and much exhausted with travelling, but still went on, though I +know not how. + +The long-desired day at length arrived, and I was duly ordained; but +instead of being full of joy, I became much depressed in mind and body, +and could not rouse myself from dwelling upon the Bishop's address, +which was very solemn. He told us that we were going to take charge of +the souls of our parishioners, and that God would require them at our +hands; we must take heed how we tended the Lord's flock. Altogether, it +was more than I had calculated upon; and feeling very ill that +afternoon, I thought that I had undertaken a burden which would +certainly be my ruin. "What could I do with souls?" My idea of +ordination was to be a clergyman, read the prayers, preach sermons, and +do all I could to bring people to church; but how could I answer for +souls which had to live for ever? and what was I to do with them? + +In the evening, I so far roused myself as to go amongst the other +candidates, to sound them, and ascertain what were their feelings with +regard to the Bishop's solemn address! They merely thought that it was +very beautiful, and that he was a holy man; and then some of them +proposed that we should all go in a riding party, to see Stonehenge, the +next day. It was especially thought that a drive on the Wiltshire plains +could do me a great deal of good, if I did not feel strong enough to +ride on horseback. I agreed to this, and went with them to see this +famous temple of Druidical worship; and after that set off for Plymouth, +on my way to the far west. But, alas! the charm of ordination had fled, +and I was more than half sorry that I had undertaken so much. It had +been done so precipitately too, for even now it was only ten days since +I had seen the physician. + +After resting a day, I proceeded to Truro, and then took a post-chaise +and drove out to my first parish, called Perranzabuloe, which was +situated about eight miles from Truro, on the north coast of Cornwall. I +alighted at an old manor house, where I was to have apartments with a +farmer and his family. Being much fatigued, I soon retired to bed, +anything but happy, or pleased with the bleak and' rough-looking place +to which I had come. + +I slept well, however, and the next morning felt considerably better, +and was revived in spirits. After making many inquiries about things in +general, I obtained the keys, and made my way to the parish church, +which was about ten minutes' walk from the house. Here, again, I was +greatly grieved and disappointed to see such a neglected churchyard and +dilapidated church; and when I went inside, my heart sank, for I had +never seen a place of worship in such a miserable condition. Moreover, I +was told that the parish was seven miles long, and that its large +population of three thousand souls was scattered on all sides, excepting +round the church. + +I had left my friends a long way off, and was alone in a strange place, +with an amount of work and responsibility for which I knew I was +thoroughly unprepared and unfit. However, I sauntered back to my +lodgings, and began to ruminate as to what was to be done. + +I had now sole charge of this extensive parish, for the duties of which +I was to receive the very moderate stipend of forty pounds a year; but +of this I did not complain, for my board and lodging, with washing, and +the keep of a horse included, was only twelve shillings a week, leaving +me a margin of nearly ten pounds for my personal expenses. The questions +that troubled me were--what was I to do with three thousand people? And +how was I to reach them? + +In due course Sunday morning arrived, and with the help of a +neighbouring clergyman, who kindly came over, as he said, "to put me in +the way," I got through the service (being the only one for the day at +that time), having about a score of listless people, lounging in +different parts of the church, for a congregation. This was my first +Sunday in my first parish. + +Just at this time a book was sent me by a kind friend, entitled "The +Bishopric of Souls," which terrified me even more than the Bishop's +charge had done; for I felt that, notwithstanding my ardent desire to +serve and glorify God, I had not the remotest conception how to do it, +as regards winning souls. The author of this book took it for granted +that every one who had the office of a pastor, had also the spiritual +qualification for it; but experience proves that this is by no means the +case. My ordination gave me an ecclesiastical position in the parish; +the law maintained me in it; and the people expected me to do the duties +of it: but how to carry all this out, except in a dry and formal way, I +did not know. + +As time went on, my parochial duties increased. I had to baptize the +children, marry the young, visit the sick, and bury the dead; but I +could not help feeling how different was this in action, to what it was +in theory. I had had a kind of dreamland parish in my head, with daily +service, beautiful music, and an assembly of worshipping people; but +instead of this, I found a small, unsympathizing congregation, who +merely looked upon these sacred things as duties to be done, and upon me +as the proper person to do them. When I went to visit the sick I had +nothing to say to them; so I read a few Collects, and sometimes gave +them a little temporal relief, for which they thanked me; but I came out +dissatisfied with myself, and longed for something more, though I did +not know what. + +Notwithstanding all these trials and disappointments, my health was +gradually improving. I found that the air of this place was like meat +and drink, and gave me an appetite for something more substantial. I +very often frequented the beach, with its beautiful cliffs, and was much +exhilarated by the bracing sea air; indeed, I had, and still retain, +quite a love for the place. As my strength and energy increased, I rode +about the parish all day, making the acquaintance of the people, and +inviting them to come to church. + +During my visits, I found out that the church warden was a good +musician, and that he knew others in the parish who were able to play on +various instruments; so in order to improve the services, and make them +more attractive, I urged him to invite these musical people to his house +to practise; and in due course we had a clarionet, two fiddles, and his +bass viol, with a few singers to form a choir. We tried over some +metrical psalms (for there were no hymn-books in those days), and soon +succeeded in learning them. This musical performance drew many people to +church. The singers were undeniably the great attraction, and they knew +it; consequently I was somewhat in their power, and had to submit to +various anthems and pieces, such as "Vital Spark." "Angels Ever Bright +and Fair," and others, not altogether to my taste, but which they +evidently performed to their own praise and satisfaction. + +Finding that the people were beginning to frequent the church, I thought +it was time to consider what steps should be taken about its +restoration, and made it the subject of conversation with the farmers. +It awakened and alarmed many of them when I said that the church must be +restored, and that we must have a church rate. The chief farmer shook +his head, saying, "You cannot carry that;" but I replied, "According to +law, you are bound to keep up the fabric, and it ought to be done. I +will write to the Vicar at once about it." He was a non-resident +pluralist. + +The farmer smiled at that, and said, laughing, "I will pledge myself +that we will do as much as he does." It so happened that the Vicar, +equally incredulous about the farmers doing anything, promised that he +would do one half, if they would do the other. + +Having ascertained this to my satisfaction, I immediately sent for the +mason of the village, who played the clarionet in the church, also his +son, who was "one of the of the fiddles," and consulted with them as to +how this matter was to be accomplished. They, being in want of work at +the time, readily advised me in favour of restoration. The churchwarden +(the "bass viol") said "that he had no objection to this proceeding, but +that he would not be responsible. In two months," he added, "would be +the annual vestry meeting." "That will do," I said, interrupting him; +and I made up my mind that I would at once restore the church, and let +the parishioners come and see it at that time. + +Having made all necessary preparations, we commenced one fine Monday +morning with repairing the roof and walls; and while the men were +employed outside, we took out the windows and opened all the doors, to +let the wind blow through, that the interior of the building might be +thoroughly dried. This done, we next coloured the walls, also the stone +arches and pillars (they were far too much broken to display them); and +having cleaned the seats and front of the gallery, we stained and +varnished them, matted the floor, carpeted the sacrarium, and procured a +new cloth for the Communion Table, and also for the 'pulpit and +reading-desk. + +All this being completed, I painted texts with my own hands on the +walls, in old English characters. I had great joy in writing these, for +I felt as if it was to the Lord Himself, and for His name, and finished +with Nehemiah's prayer, "Remember me, O my God, concerning this; and +wipe not out my good deeds that I have done for the house of my God, and +for the offices thereof" (Neh. 13:14). + +Altogether, it was a pretty church now, and a pretty sum was to be paid +for it. I told the vestry that I alone was responsible, but that the +Vicar had promised to pay one half if the vestry would pay the other. It +seemed to be such a joy to them to get anything out of him, that they +made a rate at once; and upon the Vicar's letter, raised the money and +paid off the debt. + +The people were much pleased with their church in its new aspect, and +brought their friends and neighbours to see it. Besides this, I observed +something which gratified me very much. It was that when they entered +the church they did so with reverence, taking off their hats and walking +softly, in place of stamping with their heels and coming in with their +hats on, as they too often had previously done, without any respect or +concern whatever. A neglected place of worship does not command +reverence. + +My church now began to be the talk of the neighbourhood. Numbers of +people came to see it, and among them several clergymen, who asked me to +come and restore their churches. + +There were many places where the people could not afford to rebuild the +structure. In such, I was invited to exercise my skill in repairing, as +I had done with my own; in others, I was asked to give designs for +restoring portions of the edifice; and in some, for rebuilding +altogether. In this district, schools were not built nor +parsonage-houses enlarged without sending for me. + +For several years I was looked upon as an authority in architectural +matters. I rode about all over the county from north to west, restoring +churches and designing schools, and was accounted the busiest man alive; +and my horse, my dog, and myself, the "three leanest things in +creation," we were to be seen flying along the roads, day and night, in +one part or another. + +The Bishop of Exeter, who at that time presided over Cornwall, appointed +me to make new "Peel" districts.* I designed nineteen, and made all the +maps myself, calling on the Vicars and Rectors for their approbation. I +was at this time a very popular man, and it was said that "the Bishop's +best living" would be given to me in due time. + +_____________ + +* The "Peel" districts were the new ecclesiastical districts +created under the Church Extension Act, introduced by Sir Robert Peel. +_____________ + + +CHAPTER 4 + +Antiquarian Researches and Ministry, 1843-6. + +Another thing which raised my name in and beyond the county was the +"Lost Church" at Perranzabuloe. There was an old British church existing +in some sand-hills in the parish, and it was said to be entire as far as +the four walls. The hill under which it was buried was easily known by +the bones and teeth which covered it. The legend said that the patron +saint, St. Piran, was buried under the altar, and that close by the +little church was a cell in which he lived and died. This was enough. I +got men, and set to work to dig it up. After some days' labour we came +to the floor, where we discovered the stone seats, and on the plaster of +the wall the greasy marks of the heads and shoulders of persons who had +sat there many centuries ago. We found the chancel step, and also the +altar tomb (which was built east and west, not north and south). It was +fallen, but enough remained to show the original shape and height of it. + +I put a notice in the newspapers, inviting people to come and see the +old church which had been buried for fifteen hundred years. In the +presence of many visitors, clerical and lay, we removed the stones of +the altar, and found the skeleton of St. Piran, which was identified in +three ways. The legend said that he was a man seven feet high; the +skeleton measured six feet from the shoulder-bones to the heel Again, +another legend said that his heart was enshrined in a church forty miles +away; the skeleton corresponded with this, for it was headless. +Moreover, it was said that his mother and a friend were buried on either +side of him; we also found skeletons of a male and female in these +positions. Being satisfied on this point, we set the masons to work to +rebuild the altar tomb in its original shape and size, using the same +stones as far as they would go. We made up the deficiency with a heavy +granite slab. + +On this I traced with my finger, in rude Roman letters, "SANCTUS +PIRANUS." The mason would not cut those crooked letters unless I +consented for him to put his name in better ones in the corner. I could +not agree to this, so his apprentice and I, between us, picked out the +rude letters, which have since (I have heard) been copied for a +veritable Roman inscription. + +My name was now up as an antiquary, and I was asked to be the secretary +(for the West of England) to the Archaeological Society. I was supposed +to be an old gentleman, and heard myself quoted as the "venerable and +respected Haslam," whose word was considered enough to settle a knotty +point beyond doubt. I was invited to give a lecture on the old Perran +Church, at the Royal Institution, Truro, which I did; illustrating it +with sketches of the building, and exhibiting some rude remains of +carving, which are now preserved in the museum there. + +The audience requested me (through their chairman) to print my lecture. +This I undertook also; but being very young in literary enterprises, I +added a great deal of other matter to the manuscript which I was +preparing for the press. There was much in the book * about early +Christianity and ecclesiastical antiquities. I imagined that this parish +was, in British and Druidic times, a populous place, and somewhat +important. There was a "Round," or amphitheatre, for public games, and +four British castles; also a great many sepulchral mounds on the hills, +the burial-place of chieftains. I supposed that St. Piran came here +among these rude natives (perhaps painted savages) to preach the Gospel, +and then built himself a cell by the sea-shore,+ near a spring or well, +where he baptized his converts. Close by, he built this little church, +in which he worshipped God and prayed for the people. + +________________________________ + +* "The Church of St. Piran." Published by Van Voorst. ++ This little building still remains entire, under the sand. Some pieces +of British pottery and limpet-shells were found outside the door. +________________________________ + +The words of the poet Spenser do not inaptly describe this scene of +other days:-- + +A little, lowly hermitage it was, +Downe in a dale-- +Far from resort of people, that did pas +In treveill to and fro: a litle wyde +There was a holy chappell edifyde, +Wherein the hermite dewly wont to say +His holy things each morn and eventyde; +Thereby a crystall streame did gently play, +Which, from a sacred fountaine welled forth away. + +Here then, more than fourteen centuries ago, people called upon God; and +when their little sanctuary was overwhelmed with the sand, they removed +to the other side of the river, and built themselves another church; but +they still continued to bury their dead around and above the oratory and +resting-place of St. Piran. + +When my book was published, there ensued a hot controversy about the +subject of it; and some who came to see the "Lost Church" for +themselves, declared that it was nothing more than "a modern cowshed;" +others would not believe in the antiquity I claimed for it: one of these +even ventured to assert his opinion in print, that "it was at least +eight centuries later than the date I had fixed;" another asked in a +newspaper letter, "How is it, if this is a church, that there are no +others of the same period on record?" + +This roused me to make further research; and I was soon rewarded by +finding in the registry at Exeter a list of ninety-two churches existing +in Cornwall alone in the time of Edward the Confessor, of which +Lam-piran was one. With the help of another antiquary, I discovered nine +in one week, in the west part of the county, with foundation walls and +altar tombs, of which I published an account in the "Archaeological +Journal." This paper set other persons to work, who discovered similar +remains in various parts of the country; and thus it was proved to +demonstration that we had more ecclesiastical antiquities, and of +earlier date, than we were aware of. + +Next, my attention was directed to Cornish crosses; about which I also +sent a paper, with illustrations, as a good secretary and correspondent +to the same Journal. My researches on this subject took me back to a +very remote time. I found crosses among Roman remains, with +inscriptions, something like those in the Catacombs near Rome--these +were evidently Christian; but I found crosses also among Druidic +antiquities. I could not help inquiring, "Where did the Druids get this +sign?" From the Phoenicians. "Where did they get it?" From the +Egyptians. "Where did they get it?" Then I discovered that the cross had +come to Egypt with traditions about a garden, a woman, a child, and a +serpent, and that the cross was always represented in the hand of the +second person of their trinity of gods. This personage had a human +mother, and slew the serpent which had persecuted her.* + +_______________________ + +* These traditions came to the Egyptians from an ancestor who had come +over the flood with seven others. +_______________________ + +Here was a wonderful discovery! The mythology of Egypt was based on +original tradition, handed down from Antediluvian times! From further +investigation, it was evident that the substance of Hindoo mythology +came from the same source; as also that of the Greeks, Chinese, +Mexicans, and Scandinavians. This is how the Druids got the cross also: +it was in the hand of their demi-god Thor, the second person of their +triad, who slew the great serpent with his famous hammer, which he +bequeathed to his followers. + +I was beside myself with excitement, and walked bout the room in a most +agitated state. I then made a table or harmony of these various +mythologies, and when placed side by side, it was quite clear that they +were just one and the same story, though dressed up in a variety of +mythological forms, and that the story was none other than that of the +Bible. + + +In my architectural journeys I used to entertain, people with these +wondrous subjects; and one evening I had the honour of agitating even +the Bishop of Exeter himself, who, in his enthusiasm, bade me write a +book, and dedicate it to him. I did so. "The Cross and the Serpent" is +the title of it, and it was duly inscribed to his lordship. + +It excites me even now to think about it, though it is thirty-five years +since I made these discoveries. The old librarian at Oxford declared +that I was mad, and yet he could not keep away from the subject, and he +was never weary of hearing something more about it. This reverend Doctor +said, "If you are right, then all the great antiquaries are wrong." I +suggested that they had not had the advantage I possessed of placing +their various theories side by side, or of making their observations +from my point of view. + +Notwithstanding all these external labours, which engrossed my earnest +and deep attention, I did not neglect my parish. I felt, however, that +my parishioners did not know anything about ecclesiastical antiquities +or architectural science; and that they knew nothing, and cared less, +about Church teaching. They did not believe, with me, that in order to +be saved hereafter, they ought to be in the Church, and receive the Holy +Communion--that there is no salvation out of the Church, and no Church +without a Bishop. They were utterly careless about these things and from +the first had been an unsympathetic and unteachable people. I feel sure +that had it not been for other interesting occupations which engaged my +mind, I should have been altogether discouraged with them. + +I tried to stir them up to a zeal worthy of their ancestors, who were +such good and loyal Churchmen, that King Charles the First wrote them a +letter of Commendation, and commanded that it should be put up in all +the churches. I had a copy of this letter well painted, framed, and +placed in a conspicuous part of my church. Then I prepared an original +sermon, which I preached, or rather read, to inaugurate the royal +letter. + +My text was taken from Heb. 12:22-24, "Ye are come unto Mount Sion, and +unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an +innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the +first-born, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, +and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus the mediator +of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh +better things than that of Abel." I applied these words to the Church of +England, and rather reproached the Cornish people for not being more +loyal and scriptural! + +I think I was more roused by my sermon than any one else; and no one +asked me to print it, but I did for all that, with a copy of the king's +letter. I am sorry to say that the public did not care sufficiently +about it to buy copies enough even to pay for printing. + +It fell very flat, but I attributed that to the degeneracy of the times, +and of Cornish people in particular. The fact was, they understood that +text far better than I did, and knew that "the Church of the first-born" +was something more spiritual than I had any conception of. + +From the commencement of my ministry I did not, as a general rule, +preach my own sermons, but Newman's, which I abridged and simplified, +for in that day I thought them most sound in doctrine, practical and +full of good common sense. Indeed, as far as Church teaching went, they +were, to my mind, perfect. They stated doctrines and drew manifest +conclusions; but my people were not satisfied with them then; and I can +see now, thank God! that, with all their excellences, they were utterly +deficient in spiritual vitality. + +Their author was one whom I personally admired very much, but by his own +showing, in his "Apologia." he was a man who was searching not for God, +but for a Church. At length, when he grasped the ideal of what a Church +ought to be, he tried by the Oxford Tracts, especially No. XC, to raise +the Church of England to his standard; and failing in that, he became +dissatisfied, and went over to the Church of Rome. + +Once, when I arrived at a friend's house in the Lake district, I was +told that there was a most beautiful view of distant mountains to be +seen from my window. In the morning I lifted the blind to look, but only +saw an ordinary view of green fields, hedges, trees and a lake. There +was nothing else whatever to be seen. In the course of the day, a heavy +mist which had been hanging over the lake was dispersed, and then I saw +the beautiful mountains which before had been so completely veiled that +it was difficult to believe in their existence. + +So it was with me. I could see ecclesiastical things, but the more +glorious view of spiritual realities beyond them, in all their full and +vast expanse, was as yet hidden. + +Whether my extracts from Newman's Sermons were more pointed, or whether +I became more impatient with my congregation, I cannot tell, but it was +very evident that my words were beginning to take effect at last; for as +I went on preaching and protesting against the people and against +schism, my "bass viol" called on me one day, and said, "If you go on +preaching that doctrine, you will drive away the best part of your +congregation." "Excuse me," I answered, "not the best part; you mean the +worse part." "Well," ho said, "you will see." + +On the following Sunday, I gave out my text, and had scarcely read three +pages of my manuscript when I heard a voice say, "Now we will go." With +this, the "bass viol," the other fiddles, the clarionet, the ophicleide, +and the choir, came stumping down the gallery stairs, and marched out. +Some of the congregation followed their example, with the determination +never to come back to the Church again. I waited till the noise was +over, and then went on with my sermon meekly, and thought myself a +martyr for Church principles. + +I little thought that the people were being martyred; yet they were +right, and enlightened in the truth, while I was altogether in the dark, +and knew nothing about it. From this time there was a constant feud +between the parishioners and myself. I thought that they were +schismatics; and they knew that I was unconverted, and did not preach +the Gospel. + +One day, a Dissenter called to pay a burial fee for the funeral of his +child, which he had purposely omitted paying at the proper time because +he wished to tell me a piece of his mind. I was absent on the occasion +on some architectural or archaeological business, which was to me all +important. "I know," he said, "why you went away and would not bury my +child." "Do you?" I asked. "Yes; it was because I am a Dissenter." "Oh!" +I said, "I would bury you all to-morrow if I could; for you are no good, +and can do none either." + +This went round the parish like wildfire, and did not advance my +popularity or do my cause any good. + +Seriously at this time I thought that separation from the Church of +England was a most deadly sin--it was schism. Idolatry and murder were +sins against the Mosaic law; but this was a sin against the Church. I +little dreamt then that many of the people with whom I thus contended, +and whom I grieved so much, were real spiritual members of Christ, and +had only ceased to be members of the Church of England because I did not +preach the Gospel; that, in fact, I was the cause of their leaving the +services; that I was the schismatic, for I was separated from Christ: +they only, and that for a good reason, had separated from the communion +of the Church of England, which I misrepresented. + +The Church of England's teaching since the Reformation, like that of the +primitive Church, is based not on baptism, but conversion. Baptism was +intended according to the Lord's commandment (Matt 28:19), for the +purpose of making disciples*--that is, to graft members into the body of +Christ's Church outwardly. Whatever special grace is given to infants +and others at baptism, is given upon the condition of personal faith and +repentance. Until a baptized person has been enabled by the Holy Ghost +to repent and believe the Gospel, he is not really a new-born child of +God, or raised from death into life, though nominally, in the words of +the Catechism, he has "been made a child of God." + +__________________ + +* See Greek +___________________ + +Since the feuds and dissensions in my parish, the church was almost +deserted, and left chiefly to myself, my clerk, and a few poor people, +who, for the most part, were in ill favour in the chapels. + +One day I was absorbed in writing, or rather rewriting, a text over the +porch door of the church. It was, "This is none other but the house of +God, and this is the gate of heaven." A man who was standing at the foot +of the ladder said, "Heaven is a long way from that gate, I reckon." I +pretended not to hear him, but his speech stuck to me. I knew only too +well from this, and many other indications, that the people had no +respect for the church under my ministrations. + + +CHAPTER 5 + +The New Parish, 1846. + +About this time the news reached us that the Vicar was dead; and thus +ended my connection with Perranzabuloe. As the Dean and Chapter would +not appoint me to succeed, I had no alternative but to make arrangements +for my departure. + +In one sense I was not sorry to go; but for various other reasons I much +regretted having to leave a place where my health had been so +wonderfully restored and sustained, and in which I had received so many +tokens of God's favour. It is true that my labours were of an external +character; but these I thought most important, and did them with all my +might as unto the Lord. I took the work as from Him, and did it all to +Him, and for Him, thanking Him for any token of success or commendation +which I received. + +I also regretted leaving the place before I had done any good to the +people; for, with all my endeavours, I had not succeeded in persuading +them to receive my idea of salvation by churchmanship. + +However, the door was shut behind me; and this crisis happened at the +exact time of another important event in my life. I was just engaged to +be married, and therefore had an additional interest in looking for a +sphere of labour which would suit me, and also the partner of my choice, +who was in every respect likely to be an effectual helpmeet This was +soon found and we agreed together to give ourselves to the Lord's work +(as we thought) in it. + +One of the "Peel" districts in the neighbourhood of Truro, which I had +designed, called Baldhu, was on the Earl of Falmouth's estate: it came +to his Lordship's mind to take an interest in this desolate spot; so he +bought the patronage from the commissioners, and then offered it to me, +to Be made into a new parish. This I accepted, with many thanks, and +began immediately to dream about my plans for the future. + +It was a time of great distress in that place amongst the tenants, on +account of the failure of the potato crop; so his lordship employed some +hundreds of the men in breaking up the barren croft for planting trees; +there he gave me a good central site for a church. + +Now I made up my mind to have everything perfect, and with my own rules +and regulations, my surpliced choir, churchwardens, and frequent +services, all after my own heart, it could scarcely fall to be +otherwise. I thought that having free scope, mine should be a model +place. The district was in a barren part of a large palish; three +thousand souls had been assigned to me; and I was to go and civilize +them, build my church, school-house, and, indeed, establish everything +that was necessary. + +To begin with, I took a room which was used for a village school in the +week, and for a service on Sunday. This succeeded so well, that in a few +months I determined to enlarge the building in which we assembled, as +speedily as possible. Having made all necessary plans, and procured +stones, timber, and slate, we commenced operations at five o'clock one +Monday morning, and by Saturday night had a chancel (which I thought +most necessary) ready for Sunday use! + +All the world came to see this sudden erection. This temporary church +now held three hundred people; and with the addition of a new choir and +hearty service, it was a great success, or, at least, so I imagined, for +in those days I did not look for more. + +I entered upon my work here with renewed energy and sanguine hope. I +had, of course, gained more experience in the various duties of my +ministry, and had, moreover, a clearer perception, as I thought, how +sacramental teaching, under the authority of the Church, ought to work. +I preached on holy living, not conversion, for as yet I knew nothing +about the latter. + +In 1847, I went on a visit to a very remarkable man, who had a great +effect upon me in many ways. He was the Rev. Robert Hawker, of +Morwenstow, in the extreme north of Cornwall.* + +____________________ + +* See his "LIFE," by Rev. Baring Gould. +____________________ + + +This friend was a poet, and a High Churchman, from whom I learned many +practical lessons. He was a man who prayed, and expected an answer; he +had a wonderful perception for realizing unseen things, and took +Scripture literally, with startling effect. He certainly was most +eccentric in many of his ways; but there was a reality and +straightforwardness about him which charmed me very much; and I was the +more drawn to him, from the interest he took in me and my work. + +He knew many legends of holy men of old, and said that the patron saints +of West Cornwall were in the calendar of the Eastern Church, and those +in the north of Cornwall belonged to the Western. His own patron saint, +Morwenna, was a Saxon, and his church a Saxon fane. He talked of these +saints as if he knew all about them, and wrote of them in a volume of +poems thus:-- + +"They had their lodges in the wilderness, +And built them cells along the shadowy sea; +And there they dwelt with angels like a dream, +And filled the field of the evangelists +With thoughts as sweet as flowers." + +He used to give most thrilling and grand descriptions of the storms of +the Atlantic, which broke upon the rocky coast with gigantic force, and +tell thrilling stories of shipwrecks; how he saved the lives of some of +the sailors, and how he recovered the bodies of others he could not +save. Then in the churchyard he would show you--there, a broken boat +turned over the resting-place of some; here, two oars set up crosswise +over several others; and in another part the figure-head of a ship, to +mark the spot where the body of a captain was buried. + +The Vicarage house was as original as himself. Over the door was +inscribed-- + +"A house, a glebe, a pound a day; +A pleasant place to watch and pray. +Be true to Church, be kind to poor, +O minister, for evermore!" + +The interior was furnished with old-fashioned heavy furniture and the +outside was conspicuous for its remarkable chimneys, which were finished +off as models of the towers of churches where he had served. The kitchen +chimney, which was oblong, perplexed him very much, till (as he said) "I +bethought me of my mother's tomb; and there it is, in its exact shape +and dimensions!" + +He had daily service in his church, generally by himself, when he prayed +for the people. "I did not want them there." he said. "God hears me; and +they know when I am praying for them, for I ring the bell." + +He had much influence in his parish, chiefly amongst the poor, and +declared that his people did whatever he told them. They used to bring a +bunch of flowers or evergreens every Sunday morning, and set them up in +their pew ends, where a proper place was made to hold them. The whole +church was seated with carved oak benches, which he had bought from time +to time from other churches, when they were re-pewed with "deal boxes!" + +On the Sunday, I was asked to help him in the service, and for this +purpose was arrayed in an alb, plain, which was just like a cassock in +white linen. As I walked about in this garb, I asked a friend, "How do +you like it?" In an instant I was pounced upon, and grasped sternly on +the arm by the Vicar. "'Like' has nothing to do with it; is it right?" +He himself wore over his alb a chasuble, which was amber on one side and +green on the other, and was turned to suit the Church seasons; also a +pair of crimson-colored gloves, which, he contended, were the proper +sacrificial colour for a priest. + +I had very little to do in the service but to witness his proceedings, +which I observed with great attention, and even admiration. His +preaching struck me very much; he used to select the subject of his +sermon from the Gospel of the day all through the year. This happened to +be "Good Samaritan Sunday," so we had a discourse upon the "certain man +who went down from Jerusalem to Jericho," in which he told us that "the +poor wounded man was Adam's race; the priest who went by was the +Patriarchal dispensation; the Levite, the Mosaic; and the good Samaritan +represented Christ; the inn was the Church; and the twopence, the +Sacraments." + +He held his manuscript before his face, and read it out boldly, because +he "hated," as he said, "those fellows who read their sermons, and all +the time pretend to preach them;" and he especially abhorred those who +secreted notes in their Bibles: "Either have a book, sir, or none!" + +He had a great aversion to Low Church clergymen, and told me that his +stag Robin, who ranged on the lawn, had the same; and that once he +pinned one of them to the ground between his horns. The poor man cried +out in great fear; so he told Robin to let him go, which he did, but +stood and looked at the obnoxious individual as if he would like to have +him down again and frighten him, though he would not hurt him--"Robin +was kind-hearted." + +"This Evangelical," he continued, "had a tail coat; he was dressed like +an undertaker, sir. Once upon a time there was one like him travelling +in Egypt, with a similar coat and a tall hat; and the Arabs pursued him, +calling him the 'father of saucepans, with a slit tail.'" This part of +his speech was evidently meant for me, for I wore a hat and coat of this +description, finding it more convenient for the saddle, and for dining +out when I alighted. + +He persuaded me to wear a priestly garb like his, and gave me one of his +old cassocks for a pattern; this I succeeded in getting made to my +satisfaction, after considerable difficulty. + +I came back to my work full of new thoughts and plans, determined to do +what was "right" and this in spite of all fears, whether my own, or +those of others. + +I now began to think more of the reality of prayer, and of the meaning +of the services of the Church; I emphasized my words, and insisted upon +proper teaching. I also paid more attention to my sermons, having +hitherto disregarded them; for, as I said, "the Druids never preached; +they only worshipped." + +I help up my manuscript and read my sermon, like Mr. Hawker; and I wore +a square cap and cassock, instead of the "saucepan" and the "tails." +This costume I continued to wear for several years, though I was +frequently laughed at, and often pursued by boys, which was not +agreeable to flesh and blood; but it helped to separate me from the +world, and to make me feel that I was set apart as a priest to offer +sacrifice for the people. + +In course of time I began to make preparations for my permanent church. +I drew the designs for it, passed them, and obtained money enough to +begin to build. There was a grand ceremony at the stone-laying, and a +long procession. We had banners, chanting, and a number of surpliced +clergy, besides a large congregation. + +The Earl of Falmouth, who laid the stone, contributed a thousand pounds +towards the edifice; his mother gave three hundred pounds for a peal of +bells; and others of the gentry who were present contributed; so that +upwards of eighteen hundred pounds was promised that day. Just twelve +months after, July 20, 1848, the same company, with many others, and the +Bishop of Exeter (Phillpotts) came to consecrate the "beautiful church." + +In the meantime, between the stone-laying and the consecration, the +Parsonage house had been built, and, more than that, it was even +papered, furnished, and inhabited! Besides all this, there was a garden +made, and a doorway, after an ecclesiastical mode, leading into the +churchyard, with this inscription over it:-- + +"Be true to Church, +Be kind to poor, +O minister, for evermore." + +In this church there were super-altars, candles, triptych, and also a +painted window; organ, choir, and six bells; so that for those days it +was considered a very complete thing. "The priest of Baldhu," with his +cassock and square cap, was quite a character in his small way. He +preached in a surplice, of course, and propounded Church tactics, firmly +contending for the Church teaching. The Wesleyans and others had their +distinctive tenets, the Church must have hers: they had their members +enrolled, the Church must have hers; therefore he would have a "guild," +with the view of keeping his people together. Outwardly there was an +esprit de corps, and the parishioners came to church, and took an +interest in the proceedings; but it was easy to see that their hearts +were elsewhere. Still I went on, hoping against hope, "building from the +top" without any foundation, teaching people to live before they were +born! + + +CHAPTER 6 + +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +He more earnestly I wrought among the people, and the better I knew +them, the more I saw that the mere attachment to the Church, and +punctual attendance at the services or frequency of Communion, was not +sufficient. I wanted something deeper. I wanted to reach their hearts in +order to do them good. + +Whether this desire sprang up in the ordinary progress by which God was +imperceptibly leading me, or from a story I heard at a clerical meeting, +I know not--perhaps from both. My mind was evidently as ground prepared +to receive the warning. The story was about a dream a clergyman had. He +thought the Judgment day was come, and that there was, as it were, a +great visitation--greater than the Bishop's. The clergy were mustering, +and appeared in their gowns, but instead of being alone, they had part +of their congregations with them. Some had a few followers, others had +more, and some a great many; and ail these received a gracious smile +from the Judge when their names were called. The clergyman who dreamed +was waiting, as he supposed, with a large number of people at his back +When his turn came he went forward; but, as he approached, he saw that +the Judge's countenance was sad and dark. In a sudden impulse of +suspicion he looked back; and lo! there was no one behind him. He +stopped, not daring to go any further, and turning to look at the Judge, +saw that His countenance was full of wrath. This dream had such an +effect upon him that he began to attend to his parish and care for the +souls of his people. + +I also was beginning to see that I ought to care for the souls of my +people-at least, as much as I did for the services Of the Church. As a +priest, I had the power (so I thought) to give them absolution; and yet +none, alas! availed themselves of the opportunity. How could they have +forgiveness if they did not come to me? This absolution I believed to be +needful before coming to Holy Communion, and that it was, indeed, the +true preparation for that sacred ordinance. I used to speak privately to +the members of the Church Guild about this, and persuaded some of them +to come to me for confession and absolution: but I was restless, and +felt that I was doing good by stealth. Besides this, those whom I thus +absolved were not satisfied, for they said they could not rejoice in the +forgiveness of their sins as the Methodists did, or say that they were +pardoned. In this respect I was working upon most tender ground, but I +did not know what else to do. + +I used to spend hours and hours in my church alone in meditation and +prayer; and, while thinking, employed my hands in writing texts over the +windows and on the walls, and in painting ornamental borders above the +arches. I remember writing over the chancel arch, with much interest and +exultation, "Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our +God, and the power of His Christ." (Rev. 12:10). + +I imagined, in my sanguine hope, that the kingdom of Christ was come, +and that the "accuser of the brethren" was cast down. I thought I saw, +in the power of Christ given to His priests, such victory that nothing +could stand against it. So much for dwelling on a theory, right or +wrong, till it fills the mind. Yet I cannot say that all this was +without prayer. I did wait upon God, and thought my answers were from +Him; but I see now that I went to the Lord with an idol in my heart, and +that He answered me according to it (Ezek. 14:3). + +One day I saw a picture in a friend's house which attracted me during +the time I was waiting for him. It was nothing artistic, nor was it over +well drawn, but still it engaged my attention in a way for which I could +not account. When my friend came down we talked about other things; but +even after I left the house this picture haunted me. At night I lay +awake thinking about it--so much so, that I rose early the next morning, +and went to a bookseller's shop, where I bought a large sheet of +tracing-paper and pencil, and sent them out by the postman, with a note +to my friend, begging him to give me a tracing of the picture in +question. + +I had to wait for more than a fortnight before it arrived, and then how +great was my joy! I remember spreading a white cloth on my table, and +opening out the tracing-paper upon it; and there was the veritable +picture of the Good Shepherd! His countenance was loving and kind. With +one hand He was pushing aside the branch of a tree, though a great thorn +went right through it; and with the other He was extricating a sheep +which was entangled in the thorns. The poor thing was looking up in +helplessness, all spotted over with marks of its own blood, for it was +wounded in struggling to escape. Another thing which struck me in this +picture was that the tree was growing on the edge of a precipice, and +had it not been for it (the tree), with all the cruel wounds it +inflicted, the sheep would have gone over and perished. + +After considering this picture for a long time, I painted it in a larger +size on the wall of my church, just opposite the entrance door, so that +every one who came in might see it. I cannot describe the interest with +which I employed myself about this work; and when it was done, finding +that it wanted a good bold foreground, I selected a short text-"He came +to seek and to save that which was lost." + +God was speaking to me all this time about the Good Shepherd who gave +His life for me; but I did not hear Him, or suspect that I was lost, or +caught in any thorns, or hanging over a precipice; therefore, I did not +apply the subject to myself. Certainly, I remember that my thoughts +dwelt very much on forgiveness and salvation, but I preached that these +were to be had in and by the Church, which was as the Ark in which Noah +was saved. Baptism was the door of this Ark, and Holy Communion the +token of abiding in it; and all who were not inside were lost. What +would become of those outside the Church was a matter which greatly +perplexed me. I could not dare to say they would be lost forever; but +where could they be now? and what would become of them hereafter? I +longed to save John Bunyan; but he was such a determined schismatic that +it was impossible to make out a hope for him! Sometimes I was cheered by +the thought that he had been duly baptized in infancy, and that his +after-life was one of ignorance; but this opened the door too wide, and +made my theory of salvation by the Church a very vague and uncertain +thing. So deeply was the thought ingrained in my mind that one day I +baptized myself conditionally in the Church, for fear that I had not +been properly baptized in infancy, and consequently should be lost +hereafter. I had no idea that I was lost now; far from that, I thought I +was as safe as the Church herself, and that the gates of hell could not +prevail against me. + +I had many conversations with the earnest people in my parish, but they +were evidently resting, not where I was, but on something I did not +know. One very happy woman told me, "Ah! you went to college to larn the +Latin; but though I don't know a letter in the Book, yet I can read my +title clear to mansions in the skies." Another woman, whenever I went to +see her, made me read the story of her conversion, which was written out +in a copy-book. Several other, men and women, talked to me continually +about their "conversion." I often wondered what that was; but, as I did +not see much self-denial among these converted ones, and observed that +they did not attend God's House nor ever come to the Lord's table. I +thought conversion could not be of much consequence, or anything to be +desired. + +I little knew that I was the cause of their remaining away from church, +and from the Lord's table. One thoughtful man told me, "Cornish people +are too enlightened to go to church! A man must give up religion to go +there; only unconverted people and backsliders go to such a place!" Yet +this was a prayerful man. What did he mean? At various clerical meetings +I used to repeat these things, but still obtained no information or +satisfaction. + +I made it a rule to visit every house in my parish once a week, taking +from twelve to twenty each day, when I sought to enlighten the people by +leaving Church tracts, and even wrote some myself; but they would not +do. I found that the Religious Tract Society's publications were more +acceptable. To my great disappointment, I discovered too, that +Evangelical sermons drew the people, while sacramental topics did not +interest them. So, in my ardent desire to reach and do them good, I +procured several volumes of Evangelical sermons, and copied them, +putting in sometimes a negative to their statements, to make them, as I +thought, right. + +Now I began to see and feel that there was some good in preaching, and +used the pulpit intentionally, in order to communicate with my people, +carefully writing or compiling my sermons. But I must confess that I was +very nervous in my delivery, and frequently lost my place--sometimes +even myself; and this to the great confusion of the congregation. + +I will tell how it pleased the Lord to deliver me from this bondage of +nervousness, and enable me to open my lips so as to plainly speak out my +meaning. + +One day, a friend with whom I was staying was very late in coming down +to breakfast; so, while I was waiting, I employed myself in reading the +"Life of Bishop Shirley," of Sodor and Man. My eyes happened to fall on +a passage, describing a difficulty into which he fell by losing his +sermon on his way to a country church. When the prayers were over, and +the psalm was nearly sung, he put his hand into his pocket for his +manuscript, and, to his dismay, it was gone. There was no time to +continue his search; so he gave out a text, and preached, as he said, in +dependence upon God, and never wrote a sermon afterwards. + +When my friend came to breakfast, he asked me what I had been doing all +the morning. I told him. "Ah!" he said, quietly. "Why do you not preach +in dependence upon God and go without a book like that good man? .... I +preach like that!" I said in amazement, terrified at the very thought. +"Yes." he answered, mischievously, "You. Who needs to depend upon God +for this more than you do?" Seeing that I was perturbed at his +suggestion, he went on teasing me all breakfast time, and at last said, +"Well, what is your decision? Do you mean to preach in future in +dependence upon God?" I said, "Yes; I have made up my mind to begin next +Sunday." Now it was his turn to be terrified, and he did all he could to +dissuade me, saying, "You will make a fool of yourself!" "No fear of +that," I replied; "I do it already; I cannot be worse. No; I will begin +next Sunday!" + +I came back with the determination to keep my promise, but must confess +that I grew more and more uneasy as the time approached. However, on +Sunday, I went up into the pulpit, and spoke as well as I could, without +any notes, and found it far easier than I had feared. In the evening it +was still easier; and so I continued, week by week, gaining more +confidence, and have never written a sermon since that day--that is, to +preach it. Once I was tempted to take a book up into the pulpit, feeling +I had nothing to say, when something said to me, "Is that the way you +depend upon God?" Immediately I put the volume on the floor, and +standing on it, gave out my text, and preached without hesitation. This +going forward in dependence upon God has been a deliverance to me from +many a difficulty besides this one, and that through many years. + +One day I went, in my cassock and cap, to the shop of a man whom I +regarded as a dreadful schismatic. He sold the publications of the +Religious Tract Society. On entering, he appeared greatly pleased to see +me, and took unusual interest and pains in selecting tracts, giving me a +double portion for my money. His kindness was very embarrassing; and +when, on leaving, he followed me to the door, and said "God bless you!" +it gave me a great turn. A schismatic blessing a priest! This, indeed, +was an anomaly. I was ashamed to be seen coming out of the shop, and the +more so, because I had this large Evangelical parcel in my hand, I felt +as though everybody was looking at me. However, the tracts were very +acceptable at home, and in the parish. I even began to think there was +something good in them. So I cent for more. + +Three men, one after another, told me that they had been converted +through reading them. One of these said that "the tract I had given him +ought to be written in letters of gold;" and a few months after this +same man died most happily, rejoicing in the Lord, and leaving a bright +testimony behind. I mentioned the conversion of these three men to many +of my friends, and asked them for some explanation, but got none. Still, +the thought continually haunted me---What can this "conversion" be? + +I had made it a custom to pray about what I had to do, and anything I +could not understand; therefore I prayed about this. Just then (I +believe, in answer to prayer) a friend offered to lend me Southey's +"Life of Wesley," and said, "You will find it all about conversion;" and +a few days after came a tract, "John Berridge's Great Error Detected." +This tract was carefully marked in pencil, and had several questions +written in the margin. I found out that it came from a person to whom I +had given it, and who was anxious to know its meaning. + +I read it with much interest, for I saw that the first portion of the +history of Berridge corresponded with mine; but as I went on reading, I +wondered what he could mean by "Justification." What was that wonderful +thing which God did for him and for the souls of his people? What could +he mean by having his eyes opened to see himself a wretched, lost man? +What was "seeing the way of salvation"? He said that he had preached for +six years, and never brought a single soul to Christ; and for two years +more in another place, and had no success; but now, when he preached +Christ instead of the Church, people came from all parts, far and near, +to hear the sound of the glorious Gospel; and believers were added to +the Church continually. I grappled with this subject; but I could not, +by searching, find out anything, for I was in the dark, and knew not as +yet that I was blind, and needed the power of the Holy Spirit to awaken +and bring me to see myself a lost sinner. My soul was now all a stir on +this subject; but, as far as I can remember, I wanted the +information-not for myself; but because I thought I should then get hold +of the secret by which the Wesleyans and others caught and kept their +people, or rather my people. + +Soon after, my gardener, a good Churchman, and duly despised by his +neighbours for attaching himself to me and my teaching, fell seriously +ill. I sent him at once to the doctor, who pronounced him to be in a +miner's consumption, and gave no hope of his recovery. No sooner did he +realize his position, and see eternity before him, than all the Church +teaching I had given him failed to console or satisfy, and his heart +sank within him at the near prospect of death. In his distress of mind, +he did not send for me to come and pray with him, but actually sent for +a converted man, who lived in the next row of cottages. This man, +instead of building him up as I had done, went to work in the opposite +direction-to break him down; that was, to show my servant that he was a +lost sinner, and needed to come to Jesus just as he was, for pardon and +salvation. He was brought under deep conviction of sin, and eventually +found peace through the precious blood of Jesus. + +Immediately it spread all over the parish that "the parson's servant was +converted." The news soon reached me, but, instead of giving joy, +brought the most bitter disappointment and sorrow to my heart. Such was +the profound ignorance I was in! + +The poor man sent for me several times, but I could not make up my mind +to go near him. I felt far too much hurt to think that after all I had +taught him against schism, he should fall into so great an error. +However, he sent again and again, till at last his entreaties prevailed, +and I went. Instead of lying on his bed, a dying man, as I expected to +find him, he was walking about the room in a most joyful and ecstatic +state. "Oh, dear master!" he exclaimed, "I am so glad you are come! I am +so happy! My soul is saved, glory be to God!" "Come, John," I said, "sit +down and be quiet, and I will have a talk with you, and tell you what I +think." But John knew my thoughts quite well enough, so he burst out, +"Oh master! I am sure you do not know about this, or you would have told +me. I am quite sure you love me, and I love you--that I do! but, dear +master, you do not know this--I am praying for the Lord to show it to +you. I mean to pray till I die, and after that if I can, till you are +converted." He looked at me so lovingly, and seemed so truly happy, that +it was more than I could stand. Almost involuntarily, I made for the +door, and escaped before he could stop me. + +I went home greatly disturbed in my mind--altogether disappointed and +disgusted with my work among these Cornish people. "It is no use; they +never will be Churchmen!" I was as hopeless and miserable as I could be. +I felt that my superior teaching and practice had failed, and that the +inferior and, as I believed, unscriptural dogmas had prevailed. My +favourite and most promising Churchman had fallen, and was happy in his +fall; more than that, he was actually praying that I might fall too! + +I felt very jealous for the Church, and therefore felt deeply the +conversion of my gardener. Like the elder brother of the Prodigal Son, I +was grieved, and even angry, because he was restored to favour and joy. +The remonstrance of the father prevailed nothing to mollify his +feelings; in like manner, nothing seemed to give me any rest in this +crisis of my parochial work. I thought I would give up my parish and +church, and go and work in some more congenial soil; or else that I +would preach a set of sermons on the subject of schism, for perhaps I +had not sufficiently taught my people the danger of this great sin! + +Every parishioner I passed seemed to look at me as if he said, "So much +for your teaching! You will never convince us!" + + +CHAPTER 7 + +Conversion, 1851. + +This was a time of great disappointment and discouragement. Everything +had turned out so different to the expectation I had formed and +cherished on first coming to this place. I was then full of hope and +intended to carry all before me with great success, and I thought I did; +but, alas! there was a mistake somewhere, something was wrong. + +In those days, when I was building my new church, and talking about the +tower and spire we were going to erect, an elderly Christian lady who +was sitting in her wheel-chair, calmly listening to our conversation, +said, "Will you begin to build your spire from the top?"* It was a +strange question, but she evidently meant something, and looked for an +answer. I gave it, saying, "No, madam, not from the top, but from the +foundation." She replied, "That is right--that is right," and went on +with her knitting. + +_______________________ + + * See Tract, "Building from the Top," by Rev. W. Haslam +_______________________ + +This question was not asked in jest or in ignorance; it was like a +riddle. What did she mean? In a few years this lady passed away, but her +enigmatic words remained. No doubt she thought to herself that I was +beginning at the wrong end, while I went on talking of the choir, organ, +happy worship, and all the things that we were going to attempt in the +new church; that I was aiming at sanctification, without justification; +intending to teach people to be holy before they were saved and +pardoned. This is exactly what I was doing. I had planted the boards of +my tabernacle of worship, not in silver sockets (the silver of which had +been paid for redemption), but in the sand of the wilderness. In other +words, I was teaching people to worship God, who is a Spirit, not for +love of Him who gave His Son to die for them, but in the fervour and +enthusiasm of human nature. My superstructure was built on sand; and +hence the continual disappointment, and that last discouraging +overthrow. No wonder that my life was a failure, and my labours +ineffectual, inasmuch as my efforts were not put forth in faith. My work +was not done as a thank-offering, but rather as a meritorious effort to +obtain favour from God. + +Repentance towards God, however earnest and sincere, without faith +towards our Lord Jesus Christ, is not complete or satisfying. There may +be a change of mind and will, producing a change of actions, which are +done in order to pacify conscience, and to obtain God's favour in +return; but this is not enough. It is like preparing the Found without +sowing seed, and then being disappointed that there is no harvest. A +garden is not complete or successful unless the Found has been properly +prepared, nor unless flourishing plants are growing in it. + +Repentance with Faith, the two together, constitute the fullness of +God's religion. We have to believe, not in the fact that we have given +ourselves--we know this in our own consciousness--but in the fact that +God, who is more willing to take than we to give, has accepted us. We +rejoice and work, not as persons who have surrendered ourselves to God, +but out of loving gratitude, as those who have been changed by Him to +this end. + +I will go on now to tell how I was brought at this critical period of my +life to real faith towards our Lord Jesus Christ. This was done in a way +I knew not, and moreover, in a way I little expected. I had promised a +visit to Mr. Aitken, of Pendeen, to advise him about his church, which +was then building; and now, in order to divert my thoughts, I made up my +mind to go to him at once. Soon after my arrival, as we were seated +comfortably by the fire, he asked me (as he very commonly did) how the +parish prospered. He said, "I often take shame to myself when I think of +all your work. But, my brother, are you satisfied?" + +I said, "No, I am not satisfied."* + +"Why not?" + +"Because I am making a rope of sand, which looks very well till I pull, +and then, when I expect it to hold, it gives way." + +"What do you mean?" + +"Why," I replied, "these Cornish people are ingrained schismatics." + +I then told him of my gardener's conversion, and my great +disappointment. + +"Well," he said, "if I were taken ill, I certainly would not send for +you. I am sure you could not do me any good, for you are not converted +yourself." + +"Not converted!" I exclaimed. "How can you tell?" + +He said, quietly, "I am sure of it, or you would not have come here to +complain of your gardener. If you had been converted, you would have +remained at home to rejoice with him. It is very clear you are not +converted!" + +____________________________ + +* See Tract, "Are You Satisfied?" by Rev. W. Haslam. +___________________________ + +I was vexed with him for saying that, and attempted to dispute the +point; but he was calm and confident; while I, on the other hand, was +uneasy, and trying to justify myself. + +In the course of our conversation, he said, "You do not seem to know the +difference between the natural conscience and the work of the Spirit." +Here he had me, for I only knew of one thing, and he referred to two. +However, we battled on till nearly two o'clock in the morning, and then +he showed me to my bed-room. Pointing to the bed, he said (in a voice +full of meaning), "Ah! a very holy man of God died there a short time +since." This did not add to my comfort or induce sleep, for I was +already much disturbed by the conversation we had had, and did not enjoy +the idea of going to bed and sleeping where one had so lately died--even +though he was a holy man. Resolving to sit up, I looked round the room, +and seeing some books on the table, took up one, which happened to be +Hare's "Mission of the Comforter." Almost the first page I glanced at +told the difference between the natural conscience and the work of the +Spirit. This I read and re-read till I understood its meaning. + +The next morning as soon as breakfast was finished, I resumed the +conversation of the previous night with the additional light I had +gained on the subject. We had not talked long before Mr. Aitken said, +"Ah, my brother, you have changed your ground since last night!" + +I at once confessed that I had been reading Hare's book, which he did +not know was in my room, nor even in the house. He was curious to see +it. + +He then challenged me on another point, and said, "Have you peace with +God?" I answered, without hesitation, "Yes,"---for, for eight years or +more I had regarded God as my Friend. Mr. A. went on to ask me, "How did +you get peace?" "Oh," I said, "I have it continually. I get it at the +Daily Service, I get it through prayer and reading, and especially at +the Holy Communion. I have made it a rule to carry my sins there every +Sunday, and have often come away from that holy sacrament feeling as +happy and free as a bird." My friend looked surprised, but did not +dispute this part of my experience. He contented himself by asking me +quietly, "And how long does your peace last?" This question made me +think. I said, "I suppose, not a week, for I have to do the same thing +every Sunday." He replied, "I thought so." Opening the Bible, he found +the fourth chapter of St. John, and read, "'Whosoever drinketh of this +water shall thirst again.' The woman of Samaria drew water for herself +at Jacob's well, and quenched her thirst; but she had to come again and +again to the same well. She had no idea of getting water, except by +drawing, any more than you have of getting peace excepting through the +means you use. The Lord said to her, 'If thou knewest the gift of God, +and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have +asked of Him, and He would have given thee living water,' which would be +'a well of water springing up into everlasting life'" (John 4:10-14). My +friend pointed out the difference between getting water by drawing from +a well, and having a living well within you springing up. + +I said, "I never heard of such a thing." + +"I suppose not," he answered. + +"Have you this living water?" I continued. + +"Yes, thank God, I have had it for the last thirty years." + +"How did you get it?" + +"Look here," he said, pointing to the tenth verse: "You wouldest have +asked of Him, and He would have given thee living water." "Shall we ask +Him?" I said. + +He answered, "With all my heart;" and immediately pushing back his +chair, knelt down at his round table, and I knelt on the opposite side. +What he prayed for I do not know. I was completely overcome, and melted +to tears. I sat down on the ground, sobbing, while he shouted aloud, +praising God. + +As soon as I could get up, I made for the door, and taking my hat, coat, +and umbrella, said that "I was really afraid to stay any longer." With +this I took my departure, leaving my carpet-bag behind. It was seven +miles to Penzance, but in my excitement I walked and ran all the way, +and arrived there before the coach, which was to have called for me, but +brought my carpet-bag instead. In the meantime, while I was waiting for +it, I saw a pamphlet, by Mr. Aitken, in a shop window, which I bought, +and got into the train to return to Baldhu. My mind was in such a +distracted state, that I sought relief in reading. I had not long been +doing so, when I came to a paragraph in italics: "Then shall He say unto +them, Depart from Me; I never knew you." The question arrested me, "What +if He says that to you? Ah, that is not likely. But, what if He does? It +cannot be. I have given up the world; I love God; I visit the sick; I +have daily service and weekly communion. But, what if He does?--what if +He does? I could not bear the thought; it seemed to overwhelm me." + +As I read the pamphlet, I saw that the words were spoken to persons who +were taken by surprise. So should I be. They were able to say, "We have +eaten and drunk in Thy presence, and Thou has taught in our streets: in +Thy name we have cast out devils, and done many wonderful works." Yet, +with all this, He replied, "Depart from Me, I never knew you." I did not +see how I could escape, if such men as these were to be rejected. + +Conviction was laying hold upon me, and the circle was becoming +narrower. The thought pressed heavily upon me, "What a dreadful thing, +if I am wrong!" Added to this, I trembled to think of those I had +misled. "Can it be true? Is it so?" I remembered some I had watched over +most zealously, lest the Dissenters should come and pray with them. I +had sent them out of the world resting upon a false hope, administering +the sacrament to them for want of knowing any other way of bringing them +into God's favour. I used to grieve over any parishioner who died +without the last sacrament, and often wondered how it would fare with +Dissenters! + +My mind was in a revolution. I do not remember how I got home. I felt as +if I were out on the dark, boundless ocean, without light, or oar, or +rudder. I endured the greatest agony of mind for the souls I had misled, +though I had done it ignorantly. "They are gone, and lost forever!" I +justly deserved to go also. My distress seemed greater than I could +bear. A tremendous storm of wind, rain and thunder, which was raining at +the time, was quite in sympathy with my feelings. I could not rest. +Looking at the graves of some of my faithful Churchmen, I wondered, "Is +it really true that they are now cursing me for having misled them?" + +Thursday. Friday, and Saturday passed by, each day and night more dark +and despairing than the preceding one. On the Sunday, I was so ill that +I was quite unfit to take the service. Mr. Aitken had said to me, "If I +were you, I would shut the church, and say to the congregation, 'I will +not preach again till I am converted. Pray for me!'" Shall I do this? + +The sun was shining brightly, and before I could make up my mind to put +off the service, the bells struck out a merry peal, and sent their +summons far away over the hills. Now the thought came to me that I would +go to church and read the morning prayers and after that dismiss the +people. There was no preparation for the Holy Communion that day, and I +had deputed the clerk to select the hymns, for I was far too ill to +attend to anything myself. The psalms and hymns were especially +applicable to my case, and seemed to help me, so that I thought I would +go on and read the ante-communion service, and then dismiss the people. +And while I was reading the Gospel, I thought, well, I will just say a +few words in explanation of this, and then I will dismiss them. So I +went up into the pulpit and gave out my text. I took it from the gospel +of the day--"What think ye of Christ?" (Matt. 22:42). + +As I went on to explain the passage, I saw that the Pharisees and +scribes did not know that Christ was the Son of God, or that He was come +to save them. They were looking for a king, the son of David, to reign +over them as they were. Something was telling me, all the time, "You are +no better than the Pharisees yourself-you do not believe that He is the +Son of God, and that He is come to save you, any more than they did." I +do not remember all I said, but I felt a wonderful light and joy coming +into my soul, and I was beginning to see what the Pharisees did not. +Whether it was something in my words, or my manner, or my look, I know +not; but all of a sudden a local preacher, who happened to be in the +congregation, stood up, and putting up his arms, shouted out in a +Cornish manner, "The parson is converted! The parson is converted! +Hallelujah!" and in another moment his voice was lost in the shouts and +praises of three or four hundred of the congregation. Instead of +rebuking this extraordinary "brawling," as I should have done in a +former time, I joined in the outburst of praise; and to make it more +orderly, I gave out the Doxology--"Praise God, from whom all blessings +flow"--and the people sang it with heart and voice, over and over again. +My Churchmen were dismayed, and many of them fled precipitately from the +place. Still the voice of praise went on, and was swelled by numbers of +passers-by, who came into the church, greatly surprised to hear and see +what was going on. + +When this subsided, I found at least twenty people crying for mercy, +whose voices had not been heard in the excitement and noise of +thanksgiving. They all professed to find peace and joy in believing. +Amongst this number there were three from my own house; and we returned +home praising God. + +The news spread in all directions that "the parson was converted," and +that by his own sermon, in his own pulpit to. The church would not hold +the crowds who came in the evening. I cannot exactly remember what I +preached about on that occasion; but one thing I said was, "that if I +had died last week I should have been lost for ever." I felt it was +true. So clear and vivid was the conviction through which I had passed, +and so distinct was the light into which the Lord had brought me, that I +knew and was sure that He had "brought me up out of an horrible pit, out +of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a Rock, and put a new song into +my mouth" (Ps. 40). He had "quickened" me, who was before "dead in +trespasses and sins," (Eph. 2:1). + +I felt sure, as I said, that if I had died last week I should have been +lost for ever. This was a startling and an alarming word to many of my +earnest people, who said, "What then will become of us?" I replied, "You +will be lost for a certainty if you do not give your hearts to God." + +At the end of this great and eventful day of my life--my spiritual +birthday, on which I passed from death to life by being "born from +above"--I could scarcely sleep for joy. I awoke early the next morning, +with the impression on my mind that I must get up and go to a village a +mile off to tell James B---- of my conversion. He was a good and holy +man, who had often spoken to me about my soul; and had been praying for +three years or more on my behalf. + +I had scarcely gone half-way before I met him coming towards me: he +seemed as much surprised to see me as I was to meet him. He looked at me +in a strange way, and then, leaning his back against a stone fence, he +said, "Are you converted?" + +"Why do you ask me?" I replied. "I am just on my way to your house, to +tell you the good news--that I have found peace. My soul is saved." + +The dear man said, "Thank God!" and it came from the very depths of his +heart. Shedding tears of joy, he went on to say, 'This night I woke up +thinking of you; you were so strongly in my mind, that I got up and +began to pray for you; but I could not 'get hold;' I wrestled and cried +aloud, but it was all of no avail; I begged the Lord not to give you up; +but it seemed I could not pray. After trying for more than two hours, it +came to my mind that perhaps you were converted. This thought made me so +happy, that I began to praise the Lord; and then I had liberty, and +shouted so loud that it roused up the whole house, and they came rushing +into my room to know what ever was the matter with me. 'I am praising +God,' I said; 'praising God--the parson is converted!--I feel sure he +is. Glory be to God! Glory be to God!' They said, 'You must be dreaming; +you had better lie down again, and be quiet.' But it was of no use, I +could not sleep; and so soon as the light began to break, I dressed +myself, and have come out to see whether it is true," + +"Yes," I said, "it is true; the Lord has saved my soul; I am happy!" I +thanked him then and there for all the help he had been, and for the +patience he had so long exercised towards me. We spent a happy time +together, thanking and praising God, and then he returned home to tell +his friends and neighbours the news. + +After breakfast a visitor arrived, who was on an errand of quite another +kind. The report had by this time spread far and wide, that I was +converted in my own pulpit, and by means of my own sermon; also, that I +had said, "If I had died last week, I should have been lost for ever!" +My friend having heard this, immediately mounted his horse and rode over +to see me about it. He at once put the question, "Did you say, last +night, in your pulpit, that you were saved; and that if you had died +last week you would have been lost for ever?" I answered, "Yes, indeed, +I did; and I meant it." He looked quite bewildered, and stood for a long +time arguing with me; then taking a chair he sat down, and began to +sympathize and pity me, saying how grieved he was, for he could see +madness in my eyes. He tried to divert my thoughts, and begged that I +would go out for a ride with him. Seeing that he made no impression by +his various arguments, and that he could not prevail upon me to recall +my words, he ordered his horse; but before mounting he said, "I cannot +agree with you, and will oppose you as hard as I can." + +"Very well," I replied; "but let us shake hands over it: there is no +need that we should be angry with one another." + +Then mounting, he started off, and had not gone more than a few yards, +when, suddenly pulling up, he turned, and placing his hand on the back +of his horse, called out, "Haslam, God stop the man who is wrong!" I +answered, "Amen," and off he trotted. + +On the Friday following he broke a blood-vessel in his throat or chest, +and has never preached since. His life was in danger for Several weeks, +though in course of time he recovered, but I have heard that he has +never been able to speak above a whisper. God has most undoubtedly +stopped him; while He has permitted me to preach for the last +nine-and-twenty years, on the average more than six hundred times a +year. + +From that time I began to preach the Gospel, and was not ashamed to +declare everywhere what the Lord had done for my soul. Thus from +personal experience I have been enabled to proclaim the Word, both as a +"witness" and a "minister." + +I, who before that time used to be so weak, that I could not preach for +more than fifteen or twenty minutes for three consecutive Sundays +without breaking down, was now able to do so each day, often more than +once, and three times every Sunday. + + +CHAPTER 8 + +The Revival, 1851-54. + +In the providence of God, my conversion was the beginning of a great +revival work in my parish, which continued without much interruption for +nearly three years. At some periods during that time there was a greater +power of the divine presence, and consequently more manifest results, +than at others; but all along there were conversions of sinners or +restoration of backsliders every week--indeed, almost every day. + +I was carried along with the torrent of the work, far over and beyond +several barriers of prejudice which had been in my mind. For instance, I +made a resolution that if I ever had a work of God in my parish, it +should be according to rule, and that the people should not be excited +into making a noise, as if God were deaf or afar off; also, that I would +prevent their throwing themselves into extraordinary states of mind and +body, as though it were necessary that they should do so in order to +obtain a blessing. I intended to have everything in most beautiful and +exemplary order, and that all should be done as quietly and with as much +precision as the working of a machine. No shouting of praises, no loud +praying, no hearty responding; and, above all, no extravagant crying for +mercy, such as I had witnessed in Mr. Aitken's parish. + +But notwithstanding my prudence and judicious resolutions, "the wind +blew as it listed; we heard the sound thereof, but could not tell whence +it came, or whither it went" (John 3: 8). In spite of all my prejudices, +souls were quickened and born of the Spirit. I was filled with +rejoicing, and my heart overflowed with joy to see something doing for +the Lord. + +Anything is better than the stillness of death, however aesthetic and +beautiful, however reverential and devout a mere outward ceremonial may +appear. Imposing pageants and religious displays may excite enthusiastic +religiosity or devotionism; but they do not, and never can, promote +spiritual vitality. Far from this, they draw the heart and mind into a +channel of human religion, where it can sometimes over-flow to its own +satisfaction; but they never bring a sinner to see himself lost, or, +unworthy by nature to be a worshipper, and consequently, as such, +utterly unfit to take any part in religious ceremonies. + +On the Monday after my conversion we had our first week-day revival +service in the church, which was filled to excess. In the sermon, I told +them once more that God had "brought me up out of an horrible pit, out +of the miry clay, and set my feet upon the Rock, and... put a new song +in my mouth" (Ps. 40:2-3). I had not spoken long, when some one in the +congregation gave a shriek, and then began to cry aloud for mercy. This +was quickly followed by cries from another and another, until preaching +was altogether hopeless. We then commenced praying for those who were in +distress, and some experienced men who were present dealt with the +anxious. + +I cannot tell how many people cried for mercy, or how many found peace +that night; but there was great rejoicing. I, who was still in my +grave-clothes, though out of the grave, was sorely offended at people +praying and praising God so heartily and so loudly in the church. I +thought that if this was to become a regular thing, it would be akin to +"brawling," and quite out of order. Practising singing and rehearsing +anthems in the church, I did not think much about; but somehow, for +people to cry out in distress of soul, and to praise God out of the +abundance of their hearts, was too much for me. I was sadly perplexed! + +At the close of the service, I told the people I would have a short one +again the next evening, in the church, and that after that we would go +into the schoolroom for the prayer-meeting. Thus ended the second day of +my spiritual life. + +On Tuesday evening we assembled in the church, and then went to the +schoolroom for the after-meeting. There the people had full liberty to +sing, praise, and shout too, if they desired, to their hearts' content, +and truly many availed themselves of the opportunity. In Cornwall, at +the time I speak of (now twenty-nine years ago), Cornish folk did not +think much of a meeting unless it was an exciting and noisy one. + +In this schoolroom, evening by evening, the Lord wrought a great work, +and showed forth His power in saving many souls. I have seldom read of +any remarkable manifestations in revivals the counterpart of which I did +not witness in that room; and I saw some things there which I have never +heard of as taking place anywhere else. I was by this time not afraid of +a little, or even much noise, so long as the power of the Lord's +presence was evident. The shouts of the people did not hinder me, of +their loud praying, or their hearty responses. + +There were some subjects on which it was impossible to venture without +eliciting vehement demonstrations. A friend of mine, who had come from +some distance on a visit, went with me on one occasion to an afternoon +Bible class. I asked him to address the people, and in a quiet way he +proceeded to talk about heaven. As he described the city of gold, with +its pearly gates, its walls of jasper, its foundations of sapphire and +precious stones, and to tell them that "the city had no need of the sun, +neither of the moon, to shine in it; for the glory of God did lighten +it, and the Lamb is the light thereof" (Rev. 21:2-3), I began to feel +somewhat uneasy, and feared that he was venturing on tender ground, when +all at once there was heard a shriek of joy, and in a moment almost the +whole class was in an ecstasy of praise. My friend was greatly dismayed, +and also frightened at the noise, and seizing his hat, he made hastily +for the door. "Stop! stop!" I said; "you must stand fire better than +that." I quietly gave out a hymn, and asked some of them to help me +sing, and then we knelt down to pray. I prayed in a low voice, and soon +all was still again, excepting the responsive "Amens," and the gaspings +of those who had been thus excited. + +It may be asked, why did I permit such things? I lived amongst a people +who were accustomed to outward demonstrations; and by descending to them +in their ways I was enabled to lead many of them to higher things, and +to teach them to rest not so much on their feelings, as on the facts and +truth revealed in the Word of God. But theorize as we would, it was just +a question, in many cases, of no work, or of decided manifestation. We +could not help people being stricken down, neither could they help it +themselves; often the most unlikely persons were overcome and became +excited, and persons naturally quiet and retiring proved the most noisy +and demonstrative. However, it was our joy to see permanent results +afterwards, which more than reconciled us for any amount of +inconvenience we had felt at the time. + +When the power of God is manifestly present, the persons who hear the +noise, as well as those who make it, are both under the same influence, +and are in sympathy with one another. An outsider, who does not +understand it, and is not in sympathy, might complain, and be greatly +scandalized. For my own part, I was intensely happy in those meetings, +and had become so accustomed to the loud "Amens," that I found it very +dull to preach when there was no response. Prayer meetings which were +carried on in a quiet and formal manner seemed to me cold and heartless. +"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great +waters; these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep" +(Ps. 107:23, 24). Some spiritual mariners never venture out of a calm +millpond, and rejoice in very quiet proceedings; they do not look like +rejoicing at all. They resemble the people who are going through a +formal duty, and, "like a painted ship upon a painted ocean," they are +never tossed. Most undeniable it is that many trying things happen in +the excitement of a storm. + +I was hardened against criticism, and only wished that my criticizing +friends could show me a more effectual way of working, and a way in +which God's glory might be advanced, without giving offence. + +The very remembrance of these times warms my heart as I write; and +though I do not know whether I am still young enough to enter into such +things in the same way, yet I am sure that the manifest presence of the +Lord, under any circumstances, would still stir and rejoice my spirit. +My friend Mr. Aitken used to rise above it all most majestically, and +shout as loud as the loudest. It was grand to see his great soul at full +liberty rejoicing in the Lord. He was quite at home in the noisiest and +stormiest meetings, and no doubt he thought me a promising disciple, and +a very happy one, too. + +Oh, what tremendous scenes we witnessed whenever Mr. Aitken came to +preach at Baldhu. The church, which was built to hold six hundred, used +to have as many as fifteen hundred packed into it. Not only were the +wide passages crowded, and the chancel filled, even up to the communion +table, but there were two rows of occupants in every pew. The Feat man +was king over their souls, for at times he seemed as if he was endued +with power whereby he could make them shout for joy, or howl for misery, +or cry aloud for mercy. He was by far the most effective preacher I ever +heard, or ever expect to hear. Souls were awakened by scores whenever he +preached, and sometimes the meetings continued far into the night, and +occasionally even to the daylight of the next morning. + +To the cool, dispassionate outside observers and the newspaper +reporters, all this vehement stir was very extravagant and +incomprehensible, and no doubt they thought it was done for excitement; +certainly they gave us credit for that, and a great deal more. They did +not esteem us better than themselves and consequently we had the full +benefit of their sarcasm and invective. + +Cornish revivals were things by themselves. I have read of such stirring +movements occurring occasionally in different places elsewhere, but in +Cornwall they were frequent. Every year, in one part or another, a +revival would spring up, during which believers were refreshed and +sinners awakened. It is sometimes suggested that there is a great deal +of the flesh in these things--more of this than of the Spirit. I am sure +this is a mistake, for I am quite satisfied that neither Cornish nor any +other people could produce revivals without the power of the Spirit, for +they would never be without them if they could raise them at pleasure. +But, as a fact, it is well known that revivals begin and continue for a +time, and that they cease as mysteriously as they began. + +Sometimes I have known the children of the school commence crying for no +ostensible reason; when a few words about the love of God in giving His +Son, or the love of Christ in laying down His life, would prove enough +to kindle a flame, and they would begin to cry aloud for mercy +forthwith. I have seen a whole school of more than a hundred children +like this at the same time. An awakening of such a character was +generally a token of the beginning of a work of God, which would last in +power for four or five weeks, if not more; then the quiet, ordinary work +would go on as before. Sometimes, for no accountable reason, we saw the +church thronged with a multitude of people from various parts, having no +connection with one another, all equally surprised to see each other; +and the regular congregation more surprised still to see the unexpected +rush of strangers. After a time or two we began to know the cause, and +understood that the coming together of the people was by the Spirit of +the Lord, and so we prepared accordingly, expecting a revival to follow. + +On these occasions it was very easy to preach, or pray, or sing; we had +only to say, "Stay here, or go to the schoolroom;" "Stand and sing;" or, +"Kneel and pray;" and it was done at once: such was the power of the +Spirit in melting the hears of the people into entire submission for the +time. + + +CHAPTER 9 + +The Visitor, 1851. + +In the midst of these things, we had a scene quite characteristic of +Cornwall, which was the funeral of my late gardener and friend, John +Gill. This man's conversion, it will be remembered, was the event by +which it pleased God to bring my religious state to a crisis. After my +sudden exit from John's cottage, which I have already described, he +continued to pray for me, as he said he would, until the following +Sunday, when he heard of my conversion. Then he praised God, and that +with amazing power of mind and body for a dying man. Day by day, as his +life was prolonged, he was eager to hear of the progress of the work. + +At last the day of his departure arrived, and he was quite content and +happy to go. A large concourse of people assembled at the funeral, +dressed in their Sunday best. They gathered by hundreds in front of +John's cottage, several hours before the time fixed for the service. +During this interval they sang hymns, which were given out two lines at +a time. Then they set out for the church, singing as they went along. + +In the West it is not the custom to carry the coffin on the shoulders, +but by hand, which office is performed by friends, who continually +relieve one another, that all may take part in this last mark of respect +to the deceased. At length, they arrived at the "lych" gate, and setting +the coffin upon the lych stone (a heavy slab of granite, put there for +the purpose), they sang their final hymn. At the conclusion of this, I +came out with my clerk to receive the funeral party and to conduct them +into the church. After the service I was about to give an address, when +I was told that there were more people outside than within the church. +In order, therefore, not to disappoint them, we came to the grave-side +in the churchyard, and from thence I addressed a great concourse of +people. + +I told them of dear John's conversion, and of my disappointment and +distress on account of it; then of my own conversion, and John's +unbounded joy; taking the opportunity to enforce the absolute necessity +of this spiritual change, and the certain damnation of those who die +without it. + +This funeral caused a solemn feeling, and as the people lingered about, +we re-entered the church, and further improved the occasion. Then we +went to the schoolroom for a prayer-meeting, and many souls were added +to the number of the saved. + +Among the strangers present was a gentleman who had come all the way +from Plymouth, in order to witness for himself the wonderful work, of +which he had read an account in the newspaper. After attending several +of our services, he came up to speak to me, and said that he had seen an +account of "the fall of a High Churchman into Dissent," which was +regarded as a very extraordinary thing, for at that time some Dissenters +were becoming High Churchmen, or what used to be called then +"Puseyites." Having seen me, and heard for himself of my conversion, and +my adherence to the Church, he was satisfied, and asked me to spare time +for a little conversation with him. + +He came to my house the next morning, and commenced by asking, "Do you +really think you would have been lost for ever, if you had died before +you were converted?" This he said looking me full in the face, as if to +see whether I flinched from my position. I answered, "Most certainly; +without a doubt." + +"Remember," he said, calmly, "you have been baptized and confirmed; you +are a communicant, and have been ordained; do you really think that all +this goes for nothing?" + +"Most assuredly, all these things are good in their place, and fully +avail for their respective purposes, but they have nothing whatever to +do with a sinner's salvation." + +"Do you mean to say," he continued, "that the Church is not the very ark +of salvation?" + +"I used to think so," I replied, "and to say that 'there was no Church +without a Bishop, and no salvation out of the Church;' but now I am sure +that I was mistaken. The outward Church is a fold for protecting the +sheep; but the Church is not the Shepherd who seeks and finds the lost +sheep." + +"Well," he said, "but think of all the good men you condemn if you take +that position so absolutely." + +Seeing that I hesitated, he went on to say that he "knew many very good +men, in and out of the Church of England, who did not think much of +conversion, or believe in the necessity of it." + +"I am very sorry for them," I replied; "but I cannot go back from the +position into which, I thank God, He has brought me. It is burned into +me that, except a man is converted, he will and must be lost for ever." +"Come, come, my young friend," he said, shifting his chair, and then +sitting down to another onslaught, "do you mean to say that a man will +go to hell if he is not converted, as you call it?" + +"Yes, I do; and I am quite sure that if I had died in an unconverted +state I should have gone there; and this compels me to believe, also, +that what the Scripture says about it is true for every one." + +"But what does the Scripture say?" he interposed. "It says that 'he that +believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed' (John +3:18); and in another place, 'tie that believeth not shall be damned' +(Mark 16:16). As surely as the believer is saved and goes to heaven, as +surely the unbeliever is lost and must So to hell." + +"Do you mean Gehenna, the place of torment?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"This is very dreadful." + +"More dreadful still." I said, "must be the solemn reality; and +therefore, instead of shrinking from the thought and putting it off, I +rather let it stir and rouse me to warn unbelievers, so that I may, by +any means, stop them on their dangerous path. I think this is the only +true and faithful way of showing kindness; and that, on the other hand, +it is the most selfish, heartless, and cruel unkindness to let sinners, +whether they are religious, moral, reformed, or otherwise, to go on in +an unconverted state, and perish." + +"Do you believe, then," said my visitor, "in the fire of hell? Do you +think it is a material fire?" + +"I do not know; I do not wish to know anything about it. I suppose +material fire, like every other material thing, is but a shadow of +something real. Is it not a fire which shall burn the soul--a fire that +never will be quenched--where the worm will never die?" + +"Do you really believe all this?" + +"Yes," I said, "and I have reason to do so." I remembered the anguish of +soul I passed through when I was under conviction, and the terrible +distress I felt for others whom I had misled. "When our blessed Lord was +speaking to the Jews, and warning them against their unbelief and its +fearful consequences, He did not allow any 'charitable hopes' to hinder +Him from speaking the whole truth. He told them of Lazarus, who died, +and went to Paradise, or Abraham's bosom; and of Dives, who died, and +went to Hell, the place of torment" (Luke 16). + +"But," he said, interrupting me, "that is only a parable, or figure of +speech." + +"Figure of speech!" I repeated. "Is it a figure of speech that the rich +man fared sumptuously, that he died, that he was buried? Is not that +literal? Why, then, is it a figure of speech that he lifted up his eyes +in torment, and said, 'I am tormented in this flame'(Luke 16:24). My +dear friend, be sure that there is an awful reality in that story--a +most solemn reality in the fact of the impassable gulf. If here we do +not believe in this gulf, we shall have to know of it hereafter. I never +saw and felt," I continued, "as I do now, that every man is lost, even +while on earth, until he is saved, and that if he dies in that unsaved +state he will be lost for ever." + +My unknown visitor remained silent for a little time, and I could see +that he was in tears. At last he burst out and said, "I am sure you are +right. I came to try you upon the three great "R's"--'Ruin,' +'Redemption,' and 'Regeneration,' and to see if you really meant what +you preached. Now I feel more confirmed in the truth and reality of the +Scriptures." I thought I had been contending with an unbeliever all +along, but instead of this I found that he was a man who scarcely +ventured to think out what he believed to its ultimate result--he +believed God's Word, but, like too many, alas! held it loosely. + +This gentleman had experienced the truth of the three "R's"--that is to +say, he had been awakened to know himself to be lost and ruined by the +fall, redeemed by the blood of Christ, and regenerated by the Holy +Ghost. In other words, he had been converted, and he knew it. + +I found out that at the time of his conversion he was a beneficed +clergyman, and that, as such, not being responsible to any rector or +vicar, he began to preach boldly the things he had seen. His changed +preaching produced a manifest result, and the people were awakened, even +startled, and it would appear he was startled too. Instead of thanking +God and taking courage, he became alarmed at the disturbance amongst his +congregation, and finding that his preaching made him very unpopular, he +was weak enough to change his tone, and speak smooth things. Thus he +made peace with his congregation, and gained their treacherous good +will; but as a living soul he could not be satisfied with this state of +things. He knew that he was not faithful to God or to his people; so +being a man of competent means, he resigned his living, and retired into +private life--"beloved and respected," as they said, for being a good +and peaceable man. + +At this distance of time I continue to thank God for his visit to me; it +helped to fix the truth more firmly in my own soul, and to confirm me in +the course in which I was working, and even contending, in the face of +much opposition. I must say that I have had no reason to waver in my +conviction, and still feel that I would not, for ten times that man's +wealth, and twenty times the amount of good-will which he enjoyed (if he +did enjoy it), stand in his place. + +After long observation, I perceive that it is not the sword of the Word +which offends congregations, for preachers are commended and promoted +for declaring the whole truth, so long as it is judiciously put, and +with "much discretion," so as not to wound the prejudices of the people. +The majority of congregations rather like to see the sword drawn out to +its full length and flashed with dexterity, and they do not always +object to being hit with it, and even hit hard, so long as it is done +with the flat of the sword; but they very quickly resent a touch with +its edge, and more a thrust with its point. They admire sheet lightning, +which is beautiful, as it is harmless; but forked lightning is something +to be dreaded and avoided. For instance, a man may preach most +eloquently and acceptably on the three "R's" if he does not apply the +subject too pointedly, by telling the people, both in the pulpit and out +of it, that they are now ruined and lost; and that, having been +redeemed, they are responsible before God; and that, if they will not be +regenerated by the Spirit, they will be damned. They do not object to +your laying, "You hath He quickened," but to turn these same words into +a personal question is too often considered impertinent; though, indeed, +it is the sincerest kindness and truest Christian love. + +"This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ +Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (1 Tim. 1:15). He came, and +is spiritually present now, everywhere, for this purpose. His real +presence with power is particularly promised to the preacher of the +Gospel (Matt. 28:20). The Lord Jesus is ever present to take especial +interest in the result of preaching. How disappointing then must it be +to Him, to find His servants so often spending their time and energies +upon other objects, however great or good they may be! When they do +preach the Gospel, it must grieve Him to see that their object is too +often not the same as His; and when He does apply the Word by the power +of the Spirit, it must also grieve Him to see that they are afraid of +the result. + +Gospel preaching should not be to entertain people, nor even to instruct +them; but first to awaken them to see their danger, and to bring them +from death into life, which is manifestly the Lord's chief desire. + +This was the definite object of my work: I preached for and aimed at it; +and nothing short of this could or would satisfy my longings. In the +church, in the school-room, or in the cottages, we prayed that the Holy +Spirit would bring conviction upon sinners, and then we sought to lead +them to conversion with the clear ringing testimony, "You must be born +again, or die to all eternity." + + +CHAPTER 10 + +The First Christmas, 1851-52. + +The first Christmas-day, during the revival, was a wonderful time. The +people had never realized before what this festival was, beyond +regarding it as a season for domestic rejoicing. It surprised many to +see that their past Christmases were a true representation of their past +lives that they had cheered and tried to make themselves happy without +Christ, leaving Him out of their consideration in His own world, as they +had on His own birthday. What a Christless and hopeless life it had +been! What a Christless religion! Now we praised the Lord together for +His marvellous goodness to us, and desired that we might henceforth live +unto Him, singing in heart and life, "Glory to God in the highest, and +on earth peace, good-will towards men." + +When New Year's eve arrived we had a midnight gathering, and dedicated +ourselves afresh to God's service. It was a blessed season, and several +hundreds were there, who, together with myself, were the fruits of the +revival during the previous two months. The new year opened upon us with +fresh manifestations of divine power and larger blessings. I endeavoured +to show the people that the Lord was called Jesus, not that He might +save us from hell or death, but from our sins; and this while we lived +on earth--that our heart and all our members being mortified from all +carnal lusts, we might live to His glory; that Christ's religion was not +intended for a death-bed, but for a happy and effectual Christian +life---a life showing forth the power of His grace. + +After the Christmas holidays, our schoolmaster and his wife returned. +They came back full of disdain and prejudice against the work, and even +put themselves out of the way to go from house to house, in order to set +the people against me and my preaching. They said that they could bring +a hundred clergymen to prove that I was wrong; but their efforts had +just the contrary effect to what they expected. It stirred the people to +come more frequently to hear, and contend more zealously for what they +knew to be right. The master was particularly set against "excitement" +and noise. He said, "It was so very much more reverent to be still in +prayer, and orderly in praise; it was not necessary to make such an +unseemly uproar!" I had, however, discovered, long before this time, +that the people who most objected to noise had nothing yet to make a +noise about; and that when they had, they generally made as much or more +noise than others. + +If a house is seen to be on fire, people cannot hello making an outcry; +which they do not, when they only read about it. Witnessing a danger +stirs the heart; and when people's eyes are open to see souls in eternal +danger, they cannot help being stirred up, and crying out. I am +sometimes asked, "Is there not such a thing as a feeling which is too +deep for expression?" It may be that at times people are so surprised +and astonished at some sudden announcement of good or bad news, that +they are stunned, and for a time unable to give vent to their joy or +grief; but soon there is a reaction, and then expression is given. +Generally speaking, these so-called "deep feelings" are only deep in the +way of being low down in the vessel--that is to say, very shallow, and +by no means sufficient to overflow. + +We read that "the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice, and +praise God with a loud voice, for all the mighty works that they had +seen" (Luke 19:37). And we are told, over and over again, in the Psalms, +to "praise God with a loud voice," and to "shout." When we lift up our +voice, the Lord can stir our hearts; and surely the things of the Lord +have more right, and ought to have more power, to stir and arouse the +soul of man, than a boat-race, or a horserace, or a fictitious scene on +the stage. I think people would be all the better for letting out their +hearts in praise to God. It may lie it is trying and exciting to some, +but perhaps they are the very ones who need such a stimulus, and this +may be the best way of bringing it out. + +Notwithstanding the schoolmaster's opposition, he still came to church, +and was very attentive to the sermons, taking copious notes. One Sunday, +when I had been preaching on the text, "Cut it down; why cumbereth it +the ground?" he was heard to say, "Thank God, I am not cut done yet;" +and then he proceeded for the first time to the after-meeting in the +school-room. + +When I entered I saw him low down on his knees, and said how happy I was +to see him there. "Oh," he cried, "I fear there is no mercy--the +sentence is surely gone forth against me, 'Cut him down! cut him down!'" +And then the poor man howled aloud in his distress. The people prayed +for him with shouts of thanksgiving, while he threw himself about in +agony of mind, and made a great noise, which only drew still louder +acclamations from the people. In the midst of this tremendous din he +found peace, and rejoiced with the others in unmistakable accents, and +as loud as the loudest. Evidently he was not ashamed or afraid of +excitement and noise now. + +While he was thus engaged I went round to his house to see his wife, and +tell her the news. I found her sitting on the stairs in profound dismay, +as if some dreadful calamity had happened. She was literally dumb with +fear and astonishment. When she could speak, she said, "What will happen +to him now? Will he die? What will become of us?" When I assured her +that her husband was only just beginning to live, she said, "Must we be +Dissenters now? Oh, what will become of us?" Her sister, who was staying +with her, became very angry at hearing of the master's conversion. +Finding that I could not do much with these two, I left them, and +returned to the schoolroom, where the people were even more uproarious +and happy than before; several others having also found pardon and +peace. + +The Sunday after, the master was seen moving out of church as quickly as +he could; and when he reached the churchyard he was observed to run, and +then leap over a wall, and next over a hedge into a field. They could +not hear him, but he was shouting all the time as well as running. He +afterwards said that the Prayer-book was full of meaning; it was like a +new book to him; and that if he had stayed in church, he should have +disturbed the whole congregation. He became a very earnest Christian, +and took much pains and interest in the religious instruction of the +children. There were several revivals in the school while he was there, +and many of the children were converted. It was not long before he was +able to rejoice over the conversion of his wife, and her sister also. + +I had been anxious about my clerk for some time; he was a good man in +his way, and most attentive to his work in and out of church; he was +also a regular communicant, and exemplary in his life; but with all +this, he was unconverted. I often warned him of his danger; and one day +it came to my mind to tell him of the man who went in to the marriage +supper without the wedding garment. I said, no doubt he thought himself +as good as others, but when the King came in to see the guests, he was +speechless; and because he was so, and had not on the wedding garment, +the King commanded that he should be bound hand and foot, and put into +outer darkness. Now, I continued, the King has often come in to see us, +and we have rejoiced before Him; but you have never spoken to Him, or +asked for mercy. It is a very hardening thing to hear so much as you do +and remain unsaved; and a very deadening thing to come to the Lord's +table as you do, going through the form without any real meaning. You +receive the bread and wine in remembrance that Christ died for you, and +yet you do not believe enough to thank Him. I was led to say, "I must +forbid your coming to the Lord's table till you have given your heart to +God. You know it is right to do it, and that you ought to be converted. +I will not have you come here again till you are." + +The man looked at me as if to see whether I meant it, and then appeared +so sorrowful that I nearly relented. All through the service he was low +and dejected, and went away at the time of the administration of the +ordinance, and sat at the other end of the church. My heart ached for +him, for I had never seen him so touched about anything. Afterwards, +when he came into the vestry, I could see that he had been crying. "Ah, +friend," I said, "it is bad to be left out from the Lord's table here; +what will it be to be left out of heaven?" + +In the evening he was more miserable than ever, and at the close of the +service came into the school-room, where he broke down, and asked the +people to pray for him, for he was a hard-hearted, miserable sinner. +"Pray the Lord to melt my heart." We did so: and soon the poor +broken-hearted man sobbed and cried aloud for mercy; and it was not long +before, to our great joy, he found peace. He afterwards told us that he +had been getting hardened by forms ever since he had been clerk, reading +solemn words without any meaning, which at first he trembled at doing. +He was right; it is good to hear the Gospel, good to attend the means of +grace, good to assemble in the company of God's people; but to rest in +the habit of doing these good things, without conversion, is most +dangerous, and calculated to deaden the heart. He said that he felt it +very much when 'master' was converted (meaning myself), and was also +dreadfully condemned; for he had believed in the necessity of conversion +all his life; and though he knew that I was unconverted, yet he never +told me, but rather encouraged me to go on as I was. He said that he had +had many sleepless nights about it; "but now, thank God" he added, "it +is all right; my feet are on the Rock, my soul is saved. I can praise +the Lord in the congregation." + +The clerk's conversion did not stop with himself, for it was a call to +some of the ringers; they were still outside and unsaved, though they +knew, as well as he did, that they ought to be otherwise. One of these +men began to attend the meetings regularly, but we could not get him to +pray, or speak a word. I said to him one evening, "You will never have a +sound from the bell till you move it or its tongue; in like manner, you +must move your tongue, for you will have nothing until you speak, nor +get an answer until you pray." Still he remained silent, and shut up to +himself; till one night, as we were putting out the lights at ten +o'clock, the meeting being over, I said to him as he stood by, "James, I +wonder when you will ever give your heart to God?" He looked at me and +said, "Now." "That is right," I replied; "thank God! let it be so." I at +once stopped the extinguishing of the lights, and invited him to pray +with me, but he took no heed. It was evident he had deliberately made up +his mind what he would do, for he took off his coat, undid his neck-tie, +turned back his shirt-sleeves, and then, setting a form about nine or +ten feet long, square with the room, he knelt down and began to say, +"Lord, have mercy upon me!" "Lord, have mercy upon me!" This he repeated +with every returning breath, faster and louder as he went on, till at +last he worked himself up into a condition of frenzy. He went on without +cessation for two hours, and then stopped in an exhausted state, gasping +for breath. I pointed him to the cross, and told him of God's mercy in +giving His Son to die for sinners; but he was quite absent, and did not +appear to hear me, or take the least notice. After a little rest, he +commenced again praying as before, and got into terrible distress. What +with his noise, and the energy he put forth, it was frightful to see the +struggle. He cried, and beat the form till I thought his arms would be +black and blue; then he took up the form and beat the floor with it, +till I expected every moment it would come to pieces. The noise he made +brought some of the neighbours out of their beds in a fright to see what +was the matter. + +At two o'clock in the morning, four hours after he began, he laid +himself across the form, and begged with tears that the Lord would not +cast him off. I told him that the Lord was actually waiting for him. At +last he found peace, or felt something, and, springing up, he began to +shout and praise God; and we all joined with him. When this was done, he +put on his coat and neck-tie, and saying "Good night," went home. From +this time he became a changed man, and an earnest and steadfast +believer. + + +CHAPTER 11 + +Dreams and Visions, 1851-4. + +During the revival, the outpouring of the Spirit of God was very +manifest and unmistakable, and was seen in various ways. It was not, of +course, by power or might of men, but by divine influence, that souls +were awakened to see themselves in their true condition. The candle of +the Lord was lighted, and there was a searching of and for immortal +souls, as typified by our blessed Lord in the parable of the lost piece +of silver. + +We read that the woman with her lighted candle discovered her treasure; +so the Divine Spirit, by awakening and searching hearts, found souls, +though they had been buried under sins, worldliness, and neglect, and +that for many years. It was astonishing to hear persons who had been +dull and silent before, break out into full and free expression of +spiritual truth; and their liberty and power in prayer were not less +remarkable. It was truly an opening of eyes to see, and ears to hear, +and hearts to understand--a raising of the dead to spiritual life and +animation. It was as wonderful as the speaking of tongues on the day of +Pentecost, with this difference--that those people spoke what they knew, +in tongues they had not known; and these, in their own speech, declared +things which they had never seen or known before. + +We had another distinctive sign of Pentecost, which was, that while +believers rejoiced with overflowing joy, and sinners were pricked to the +heart, and cried out, "What must I do to be saved?" there were those who +mocked, saying, "These men are mad, or drunk." But, as St. Peter +testified long ago, these men, women, and children were not drunk, but +under the influence and power of the Holy Ghost. + +We had yet another sign. The prophet Joel predicted, "It shall come to +pass that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and +your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your +young men shall see visions; and also upon the servants and upon the +handmaids in those days will I pour out my Spirit" (Joel 2:28, 29). And +I think my narrative would be very incomplete, and I should be holding +back the truth, if I did not tell of some of the dreams and visions +which continually happened at this time amongst us. + +Every week, almost every day, we heard of some remarkable dream or +striking vision. Such things may be called "superstitious" by +incredulous people, but I merely state what actually took place without +attempting to explain or account for it. My own feeling is that I would +rather be among the superstitious than the incredulous; for I think that +the former lose nothing by believing, and the latter gain nothing by +their unbelief. + +Among the people who are alive to spiritual realities these remarkable +tokens are not suspected or doubted. To believe nothing but what you can +understand or account for, is to believe nothing at all. Cornish people +at that time--and they may still be the same--lived in a spiritual +atmosphere, at least in their own county; so much so, that I have often +heard them complain, when they returned from the "shires," of the +dryness and deadness they felt there. I can certainly set my seal to +this testimony, and declare that those of us who had visions in Cornwall +have not had them in the same way out of that district. + +I will give a few specimens, but only one of a kind, for it would fill +the volume if I told all; the reader can judge if there was meaning or +import in some of them or not. + +At one time, when there was a depression or check in the congregation, +and preaching was hard, praying formal, and singing flat, I invited the +people to join with me in prayer, that the Lord would show us what was +the hindrance in the way of the work. They prayed with one accord and +without consulting one another, almost in the same words, whether in the +school-room or in the cottages; the substance of their petition was, +that we might know and put away the obstacle to spiritual blessing, +whatever that obstacle might be. + +One night I dreamt that I was in the church, feeling very desolate and +forsaken; there were very few people there, but soon my eyes lighted on +an ugly-looking stranger, who tried to evade me. He was a very +disagreeable, sullen-looking man. When I spoke to him he gnashed his +teeth, and as I approached he drew out a knife and held it out before +me. I pursued him notwithstanding, when he backed towards the door and +went out. I followed him through the churchyard till he was outside the +lych-gate. As soon as he was gone, I saw a troop of happy people, all +dressed in white, come in at the same gate, leaping and running like so +many joyful children, and swinging their arms for gladness: they went +into the church and began to sing. The dream was as vivid to me as a +daylight scene. + +I went out the next evening, intending to tell it at the school-room +meeting; but before I began to do so, I observed that the people sang +more freely than usual, and I also noticed that two men who prayed +omitted to offer the usual request for hindrances to be removed. When I +told my dream, a man arose and said, "I know all about that; there has +been one among us whom we thought was a good man, but instead of this we +have discovered that he was most immoral and deceitful, doing a deal of +mischief, secretly undermining the faith of some, and misleading others; +he has been detected, and is gone." Sure enough our old happy freedom +returned, and there was liberty in preaching, praying and singing, and +souls were saved. + +Another time, when I was getting a little impatient with the people, I +took a leaf out of my Scripture-reader's book, and preached a furious +sermon about "damnation," representing God as pursuing the sinner to cut +him down, if he did not repent there and then. I thought I had done it +well, and went home rather satisfied with myself, supposing that I now +knew how to make the congregation feel. The next morning, a yeoman +called to me as I was passing her cottage, and said, "Master, what d'yer +think? I dreamt last night that the devil was a-preaching in your +pulpit, and that you were delighted at it!" A sudden fear fell upon +me--so much so, that I returned to the church, and shutting the door, +begged God's forgiveness; and thanking Him for this warning, asked that +I might remember it, and never transgress again. + +As my Scripture-reader continued to denounce wrath and vengeance, +instead of preaching the Gospel, I parted with him. + +Next, let me tell of a vision which refers to others. My sister came to +me one morning, and said, "William, I had a vision last night of a young +man in a tall hat, with a green-and-red carpet-bag in his hand. I saw +him so plainly, that I should know him again anywhere. He was walking up +the road when you met him, shook hands, and returned with him to the +house. Then you and F---- brought him in at the glass door. On the hall +table there stood a basket containing four beautiful and fragrant +fruits. You took up the basket and offered it to the visitor, who, +putting his hand upon one, said, 'Oh, thank you!' Then touching the +three others in order, said, 'That is for mother, and that for sister, +and that for --.' I could not hear who. You may smile," she continued, +"but I heard that, and saw it all as plainly as I see you now." + +I was accustomed to hear such things, and consequently thought no more +about it, but went on to speak of other subjects. In the course of the +afternoon, as I was going out, I met a relative coming along the road, +and took him back with me to the house; there my wife came out to him, +and we led him in through the glass door. When he had sat some time and +had had some luncheon, my wife said, "I wonder whether this is the young +man we heard about this morning? .... What young man?" asked our +visitor, hastily; "What young man do you mean? .... I should not wonder +if it is," I replied; "We will see presently." He seemed very +suspicious, having heard before he came that some mysterious change had +taken place in us, and so looked again and again to see if he could +detect anything different. + +"Come and see my sister," I said; to which he assented, and we went +across to her house. As soon as we entered her room, she said, "How do +you do? I saw you last night." "What do you mean ?" he replied, +withdrawing his hand. "Why, I was on board the steamer last night." +"That may be," she said, "but you are the gentleman I saw. Have you not +a green-and-red carpet-bag? and did not William meet you on the road?" +Poor young man! he looked dreadfully perplexed. "Never mind her," I +said; "sit down and tell us about your journey." + +After we had talked of this and other subjects, we return home. I then +told him that we were converted and asked if he had given his heart to +God. He said he had. Not being satisfied, I put the question in another +form, and yet remained unsatisfied with his answer. "Do you doubt me?" +he asked: "I will prove it to you." He then went up to his room for a +little while, and returned with a paper in his hand, in which was a +dedication of himself to God, duly signed and sealed. I had never seen +an instrument of this kind before, and asked if he really believed in +it? "Yes, certainly," he replied; "and I mean it, too." + +"But," I said, "do you not see that faith does not consist in believing +what you write, but in what God has written? The Word says that God is +more willing to take than you are to give: you believe you have given; +but do you believe that God has taken? He is far more ready to take your +heart than you to give it; as surely as you have given, so surely He has +taken. Cannot you see that?" + +He replied, "I knew that there was something wrong about this, but I did +not know what. Thank you! thank you!" Then thoughtfully folding up the +paper, he went out of the room. + +The bell was rung for dinner, but he did not appear; and then for tea, +but he declined taking any. After we had gone to church, he found his +way down and followed us there; and when the service was over he +returned again to his room. I was detained at the schoolroom that night, +and until two o'clock in the morning, praying and talking with anxious +souls, and returned home very tired. Going up to bed I saw a light +shining under my visitor's door, and hesitating there a few moments, I +heard him pleading earnestly for mercy. I had a great mind to knock, but +was afraid of disturbing him; so I prayed for him, and went to bed. + +In the morning he came down smiling. "Thank God," he said, "it is all +right now; I am saved." In his hand he held three letters--one to his +mother, one to his sister, and the other to a cousin, in which he +invited them earnestly to come to Jesus. Within the week all four were +in our house, praising God for salvation. + +As the vision indicated, we had nothing to do but hold the basket to +him. He accepted it, and the fruit for himself and his relatives. + +Amongst other people and characters I met with at this time was a good, +respectable man, who had a remarkable dream. He came to me one day, +after I had been speaking about Jacob's ladder, and said that my sermon +had reminded him of his dream. I begged him to sit down and tell it to +me. He said, "I dreamt that I and nineteen other young men were living +in a beautiful house and place, where we had everything provided fer us, +and were free to enjoy ourselves as much as we pleased. We all +understood that the premises belonged to Satan and that we were his +guests. As such, we were permitted to take our pleasure upon two +conditions--one was, that we were not to pray; and the other that we +were not to go away. We smiled at this, and said it was not likely we +should do the former, for we were not the praying kind; and less likely +that we should do the latter, for why should we be such fools as to +forego or give up our enjoyments?" + +I thought to myself, What a wonderful dream that is and how true to +reality! What numbers of young men there are, and young women too, +besides: many other people, who hold their worldly happiness on this +tenure, and of course from the same master. + +Well, to continue the story of the dream, he said, "In the course of +time we all became heartily tired of the place and its pleasures, and +longed to get away, but we could not. One of us made an attempt to do +so, but he was captured and brought back, and made more of a slave than +ever. At last, I and a few others agreed to pray at a stated time in +different places, in the hope that if one was caught, yet the rest might +escape. Upon a set day and time we began praying, each in his appointed +place. I had fixed upon a dark corner in a large deserted room, where we +had stowed away bales and bales of goods we did not care to open. +Climbing over the top of these stores, I landed on the other side, and +went to the spot I had chosen. I had not prayed long before I heard +master coming, cracking his whip, and saying, 'I'll teach you to pray.' +This made me tremble exceedingly, and pray all the harder; but hearing +that he was very near and coming after me, I opened my eyes, and to my +surprise there was a beautiful silver ladder before me. As quick as +thought, I sprang with hands and feet upon it, and began to climb for +dear life. 'Ha!' said master, 'I'll teach you to climb.' Then I felt the +ladder shaking under me, and knew that he was coming up. I expected +every moment to be seized and dragged back, so I climbed all the faster, +and looked up to see how much farther I had to go. Oh, it was such a +long way, and there was only a very small hole to get to at last. My +heart began to fail me, so that I almost let go my hold, till I felt the +master's sulphurous breath on the back of my neck, which made me rush +forward more vehemently. At last I reached the top, and thrust my arm +through the hole, then my head, and then my other arm; thus I got +through altogether, leaving my old enemy blaspheming and cursing down +below. It was a most beautiful place that I was now in, and angels were +flying about, just as the birds do in this world. I saw the Lord +Himself, and fell down before Him to give Him thanks. As I remained a +long time prostrate. He said to me. 'What is thy petition?' I answered, +'Lord, grant that that hole may be made larger, for I have nineteen +friends down there in the power of the cruel master.' The Lord smiled, +and said, 'That hole is quite large enough.' So I awoke." + +Where there is a will, there is always a way of some kind; and if +worldlings are really tired of Satan's service, they can easily call +upon God to deliver them, and He will most surely do so when He sees +they are in earnest. This dream had the effect of spiritually awakening +the man who had it, and of bringing him to the foot of the cross for +mercy and salvation. + +I noticed that in dreams and visions in Cornwall the Lord Jesus very +often appears, and the devil also; these are real persons to the Cornish +mind, and their power is respectively acknowledged. + +During the summer, a young gentleman, whom we invited to our house in +the hope of reaching his soul, came to stay with us; and this in spite +of his avowed prejudice against us and our proceedings. I took this as a +token of encouragement, for I was sure that the devil would have +hindered his coming, unless the young man had been constrained by a +higher power. He spent his time in riding about or smoking, and made +great fun of our meetings and services, though I observed that he was +very attentive to hear the sermon whenever he did come. + +One week-day evening, while we were sitting in the drawing room, and +little expecting it, he burst into tears and cried out, "I don't know +what to do; I shall be lost for ever!" We immediately sprang up to his +help, always delighted at such opportunities of working for the Lord. We +knelt down to pray, and as we continued to do so, he fell into great +distress, and even agony of soul; he literally writhed as if in +excessive pain, too great for utterance, and looked as if he was +fainting with the struggle. We called all the servants into the room to +help in prayer, and while I was praying by the side of my young friend, +and pointing him to Christ, one of the servants rose up and walked +straight across the room, and, with a firm hand pushing me aside, said, +"The Lord is here Himself." I rose instantly and moved out of the way, +while she stood with her hands together, adoring. + +She afterwards told us that she saw the Lord stoop down to the low chair +where my young friend was kneeling, and putting His hand on his head, He +said something, and then stood up. Immediately upon this she saw the +verandah crowded with ugly-looking devils, all with their eyes fixed on +the young man as he knelt. The Lord then waved His hand, and the ugly +company vanished. At that instant the young man lifted up his head, and +turning towards the side on which she had discerned the Lord as +standing, said, "Lord, I thank Thee," and then fainted away. + +When the vision was over, the servant came, with tears in her eyes, to +ask pardon for so rudely pushing me aside, but said that while the Lord +was there she could not help herself: "Oh, He is so beautiful, so +grand!" The young man was soon restored to animation, and began to speak +in a voice and tone very different to his former utterance. He was +altogether a remarkable instance of a change of heart and life. + +A careless, worldly man in my parish dreamt one night that he was in the +market hall of a certain town. He was surprised to see, in a wall, a +doorway, which he had never noticed before--so much so, that he went +forward to examine it, and found that it really was a door, and that it +opened to his touch. He went inside, and there he saw an impressive and +strange scene. There were a number of men and women walking about, who +appeared to be very woeful, end in great agony of pain. They were too +distressed to speak, but he recognized most of them as persons who had +been dead some time. They looked mournfully at him, as if sorry that he +had come there, but did not speak. He was much alarmed, and made his way +back to the door to escape, but was stopped by a stern, sullen-looking' +porter, who said, in a sepulchral voice, "You cannot pass." He said, "I +came in this way, and I want to go out." "You cannot," said the solemn +voice. "Look, the door opens only one way; you may come in by it, but +you cannot go out." It was so, and his heart sank within him as he +looked at that mysterious portal. At last the porter relented, and as a +special favour let him go forth for eight days. He was so glad at his +release that he awoke. + +When he told me the dream I warned him, and begged him to give his heart +to God. "You may die," I said, "before the eighth day." He laughed at +the idea, and said he was "not going to be frightened by a dream." "When +I am converted," he continued, "I hope I shall be able to say that I was +drawn by love and not driven by fear." "But what," I said, "if you have +been neglecting and slighting God's love for a long time, and He is now +moving you with fear to return to Him?" Nothing would do; he turned a +deaf ear to every entreaty. When the eighth day arrived, being market +day, he went to the hall as usual, and looked at the wall of which he +had dreamed with particular interest, but seeing no door there, he +exclaimed, "It's all right; now I will go and have a good dinner over +it, with a bottle of wine!" + +Whether he stopped at one bottle or not, I cannot tell; but late on +Saturday night, as he was going home, he was thrown from his horse and +killed. That was at the end of the eighth day. + +Whether these dreams and visions were the cause or effect of the +people's sensitive state, I do not know; but certainly they were very +impressible, and even the cold and hardened amongst them were ready to +hear about the mysteries of the unseen world. I attributed this to the +spiritual atmosphere in which they were then living. + + +CHAPTER 12 + +Billy Bray, 1852. + +After the events narrated in Chapter 10, and when all the people who +dwelt on the hill on which the church was built were converted, there +came upon the scene a very remarkable person, who had evidently been +kept back for a purpose. This was none other than the veritable and well +known "Billy Bray."* One morning, while we were sitting at breakfast, I +heard some one walking about in the hall with a heavy step, saying, +"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!" On opening the door, I beheld a +happy-looking little man, in a black Quaker-cut coat, which it was very +evident had not been made for him, but for some much larger body. "Well, +my friend," I said, "who are you?" + +__________________________ + +* See "The King's Son; or, Life of Billy Bray," by F. W. Bourne. +___________________________ + +"I am Billy Bray," he replied, looking steadily at me with his twinkling +eyes; "and be you the parson?" + +"Yes, I am." + +"Thank the Lord! Converted, are ye?" + +"Yes, thank God." + +"And the missus inside" (pointing to the dining-room), "be she +converted?" + +"Yes, she is." + +"Thank the dear Lord!" he said, moving forward. + +I made way for him, and he came stepping into the room; then making a +profound bow to the said "missus," he asked, "Be there any maidens +(servants)?" + +"Yes, there are three in the kitchen." + +"Be they converted too?" + +I was able to answer in the affirmative; and as I pointed towards the +kitchen door when I mentioned it, he made off in that direction, and +soon we heard them all shouting and praising God together. When we went +in, there was Billy Bray, very joyful, singing, + +"Canaan is a happy place; +I am bound for the land of Canaan." + +We then returned to the dining-room with our strange guest, when he +suddenly caught me up in his arms and carried me around the room. I was +so taken by surprise, that it was as much as I could do to keep myself +in an upright position, till he had accomplished the circuit. Then he +set me in my chair and rolling on the ground for joy, said that he "was +as happy as he could live." When this performance was at an end, he rose +up with a face that denoted the fact, for it was beaming all over. I +invited him to take some breakfast with us, to which he assented with +thanks. He chose bread and milk, for he said, "I am only a child." + +I asked him to be seated, and gave him a chair; but he preferred walking +about, and went on talking all the time. He told us that twenty years +ago, as he was walking over this very hill on which my church and house +were built (it was a barren old place then), the Lord said to him, "I +will give thee all that dwell in this mountain." Immediately he fell +down on his knees and thanked the Lord, and then ran to the nearest +cottage. There he talked and prayed with the people, and was enabled to +bring them to Christ; then he went to the next cottage, and got the same +blessing; and then to a third, where he was equally successful. Then he +told "Father" that there were only three "housen" in this mountain, and +prayed that more might be built. That prayer remained with him, and he +never ceased to make it for years. The neighbours, who heard his prayer +from time to time, wondered why he should ask for "housen" to be built +in such an "ungain" place. + +At last, after sixteen years, he received a letter from his brother +James, to say that they were hacking up the "croft" to plant trees, and +that they were going to build a church on the hill. He was "fine and +glad," and praised the Lord. Again he did so, when his brother wrote to +say there was a vicarage to be built on the same hill, and a schoolroom +also. He was almost beside himself with joy and thankfulness for all +this. + +In the year 1848, when the church was completed and opened, he came on a +visit to Baldhu, and was greatly surprised to see what a change had +taken place. There was a beautiful church, a parsonage, with a +flourishing garden, and also a schoolroom, with a large plantation and +fields round them. He was quite "'mazed," for he never thought that the +old hill could be made so grand as that! However, when he went to the +service in the church, his joy was over; he came out "checkfallen," and +quite disappointed. He told "Father" that that was nothing but an "old +Pusey" He had got there, and that he was no good. While he was praying +that afternoon, "Father" gave him to understand that he had no business +there yet, and that he had come too soon, and without permission. So he +went back to his place at once, near Bodmin, and continued to pray for +the hill. + +After three years his brother James wrote again; 'and this time it was +to tell him that the parson and all his family were converted, and that +there was a great revival at the church. Now poor Billy was most eager +to come and see this for himself, but he obtained no permission, though +he asked and looked for it every day for more than three months. + +At last, one wintry and frosty night in January, about half-past eleven +o'clock, just as he was getting into bed, "Father" told him that he +might go to Baldhu. He was so overjoyed, that he did not wait till the +morning, but immediately "put up" his clothes again, "hitched in" the +donkey, and set out in his slow-going little cart. He came along singing +all the way, nearly thirty miles and arrived early in the morning. +Having put up his donkey in my stable, he came into the house, and +presented himself, as I have already stated, in the hall, praising God. + +We were a long time over breakfast that morning, for the happy man went +on from one thing to another, "telling of the Lord," as he called it, +assuring us again and again that he was "fine and glad, and very +happy"--indeed, he looked so. He said there was one thing more he must +tell us; it was this--that he had a "preaching-house" (what we should +now call a mission-room), which he had built years ago. He had often +prayed there for "this old mountain," and now he should dearly love to +see me in the pulpit of that place, and said that he would let me have +it for my work. He went on to say that he had built it by prayer and +faith, as "Father" sent him help, and that he and another man had built +it with their own hands. One day he was short of money to buy timber to +finish the roof; his mate said it would take two pounds' worth; so he +asked the Lord for this sum, and wondered why the money did not come, +for he felt sure that he was to have it. A farmer happened to look in +the next morning, and Billy thought he had come with the money, but he +merely asked them what they were doing, and then took his departure, +without giving them help. All that day they waited in expectation, and +went home in the evening without having done any work. The next morning +the same farmer appeared again, and said, "What do you want two pounds +for?" "Oh," said Billy, "you are come, are you? We want that money for +the roof yonder." The farmer then went on to say, "Two days ago it came +to my mind to give two pounds for the preaching house, but as I was +coming down the hill on yesterday morning, something said to me, 'if you +give one pound it will be handsome; then I thought I would give only +half-a-sovereign; and then that I would give nothing. Why should I? But +the Lord laid it on my mind last night that I must give you two pounds. +There it is!" + +"Thank the Lord!" said Billy, and proceeded immediately to get the +required timber. In answer to prayer he also obtained "reed" for +thatching the roof, and by the same means timber for the forms and +seats. + +It was all done in a humble manner, so that he did not dream of buying +any pulpit; but one day, as he was passing along the road, he saw that +they were going to have a sale at the "count-house" of an old mine. He +went in, and the first thing which met his eye was a strong oak +cupboard, with a cornice around the top. It struck him that it would +make a grand pulpit, if only it was-strong enough: on examination, he +found it all he could desire in this respect. He thought if he could +take off the top and make a "plat" to stand upon, it would do +"first-rate." He "told Father" so, and wondered how he could get it. He +asked a stranger who was there, walking about, what he thought that old +cupboard would go for? "Oh, for about five or six shillings," was the +reply. And while Billy was pondering how to "rise" six shillings, the +same man came up and said, "What do you want that cupboard for, Billy?" +He did not care to tell him, for he was thinking and praying about it. +The man said, "There are six shillings for you; buy it if you will." +Billy took the money, thanking the Lord. and impatiently waited for the +sale. No sooner was the cupboard put up, than he called out, "Here, +maister, here's six shillin's for un," and he put the money down on the +table. "Six shillings bid," said the auctioneer--"six shillings--thank +you; seven shillings; any more for that good old cupboard? Seven +shillings. Going--going--gone!" And it was knocked down to another man. + +Poor Billy was much disappointed and perplexed at this, and could not +understand it at all. He looked about for the man who had given him the +six shillings, but in vain--he was not there. The auctioneer told him to +take up his money out of the way. He complied, but did not know what to +do with it. He went over a hedge into a field by himself, and told +"Father" about it; but it was all clear--"Father" was not angry about +anything. He remained there an hour, and then went homewards. + +As he was going along, much troubled in his mind as to this experience +(for he still felt so sure he was to have that cupboard for a pulpit), +he came upon a cart standing outside a public-house with the very +cupboard upon it, and some men were measuring it with a foot rule. As he +came up, he heard them say, "It is too large to go in at the door, or +the window either." The publican who had bought it said, "I wish I had +not bid for the old thing at all; it is too good to 'scat' up for +firewood." At that instant it came to Billy's mind to say, "Here, I'll +give you six shillings for un." "Very well," said the man, taking the +money; "you can have him." Then Billy began to praise the Lord, and went +on to say, "'Father' as good as told me that I was to have that +cupboard, and He knew I could not carry him home on my back, so He found +a horse and cart for me. Bless the Lord!" Promising to bring it back +very soon, he led the horse down the hill, and put the old cupboard into +the preaching-house. "There it is!" he exclaimed, "and a fine pulpit he +does make, sure enough! Now," said Billy, "I want to see thee in it. +When will you come?" I could not fix for that day, or the next, trot +made arrangements to conduct a series of services the next week, and +promised to have them in that place. + +Before he left us, he made a particular inquiry about the two other +houses which had been built, who lived in them, and especially if all +the "dwellers were converted." Then he declared his intention to go and +see the parties, and rejoice with them, and testify how fully the Lord +had accomplished the promise He gave him upon that very hill, twenty +years before. + +According to promise, I went to Billy Bray's preaching-house, or +mission-hall. It was the first time that I had preached anywhere outside +my church and schoolroom since my conversion. There it pleased the Lord +to give me much help, and a great work followed, such as Billy had never +seen in that place before. Several times we were detained there all +night through, with penitents crying aloud for mercy, and believers +rejoicing. + +As a rule, the Cornish man would remain at a meeting for hours, and come +again the next day, and the day after, if needful, till he felt that he +could cry for mercy, and then he would begin and continue crying until +he felt he could believe. + +At the conclusion of these services we returned to the schoolroom, where +our meetings were continued. + +Our friend Billy remained with us at Baldhu, and was very useful. He +spoke in the schoolroom with much acceptance and power in the simplicity +of his faith, and souls were added to the Lord continually. + +At this time he was very anxious for a cousin of his, a man somewhat +older than himself, of the same name. This Billy was as famous for his +drunkenness and dissolute habits, as the other Billy was for his faith +and joy. The former used to go by the name of the "lost soul." The very +children in the lanes called after him, "Ah, Billy, you are a lost +soul," and laughed at him. I was then in the freshness and power of my +first love, and could not help regarding this pitiable object, and +considering his case; for I could not imagine why any man should remain +unsaved and without Christ. + +Accordingly, one wet morning, when I felt pretty sure that old Billy +would not be out working in the field, I made my way down to his house. +As I expected, he was at home in his chimney comer; so setting down my +dripping umbrella, I told him how glad I was to find him there, for I +wanted to have a talk with him. + +"Ah, it's all very well for you gentlemen, who have none else to do but +to go about and talk; but we poor men must work." So saying, he rose up +from his "settle" and went to the door. + +"But, Billy, it is raining quite hard; you cannot work in rain like +that." + +"Can't help it; we must do our work," and so he slammed the door after +him and departed. + +His wife made all kinds of apologies for him, because "he was a very +singular kind of man; he did not mean bad--he was 'that curious,' that +he said and did curious things, and that I must not mind him." + +I confess I was much disappointed at his abrupt departure from the +house, but I remained a little longer, till the worst of the storm was +over. + +After the lapse of nearly a quarter of an hour, Billy crept back to the +door, and lifting the latch quietly, whispered to his wife, "Is the +passon gone?" + +"No, Billy," I said, "here I am. Come in out of the wet. I am so glad +you have come back." + +"What d'yer want with me?" he inquired. "I want to talk to you about +your soul. I have been thinking much about you lately, Billy. They call +you a 'lost soul.'" + +"What's that to you?" + +"Ah, a great deal," I said, "because I have a message for lost people. I +am not a doctor for the body; my business is about the soul." + +"I ain't so bad as all that yet," he replied. + +"But you are bad enough, Billy--bad enough." + +"Yes, indeed," interposed his wife. + +"You hold yer tongue; you're no better." + +I beckoned to her to be still, and went on to say, "You are bad enough, +Billy, for an old man. How old are you?" + +"Up seventy years." + +"Seventy years!" I repeated. "Well, now, that's a great age--that's the +age of man. Threescore years and ten! It is like giving you notice to +give up the keys of the old tabernacle. I wonder why God spares your +life? I am afraid you have been a cumberer of the ground all this time, +Billy. Do you know why the good Lord has spared you for so long?" + +"I can't tell," he said, getting more and more impatient. + +"Well, do you know, I think I can tell you. He is such a loving and +merciful God, He wants to have mercy on you. You could not have greater +proof of it, could you? You set a horribly bad example; you do nothing +but drink, and smoke, and swear. You have asked God to damn your soul +over and over again, and yet here you are still. Why is this?" + +He did not answer, but seemed interested; so I went on to speak of the +forbearance of God towards him. I said, "Billy, do you know that I think +the Lord wants to have mercy on you? He wants to save you!" As he +listened, I went on to tell him that God loved him, and gave His Son to +die for him. Then I proceeded to speak of the wonderful patience and +long-suffering of God--a kind of crown upon His love; and what a shame +it was to sin against such love as this. + +Poor Billy looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "You are a +dear man!" + +"Dear man!" I answered. "What, then, is God, if I am 'dear' only for +telling you of His love? Ah, Billy, take and give your heart to God at +once. He is waiting for you. It is a shame to refuse such a God." + +I knelt down and began to pray for him. He soon fell on his knees too, +and sobbed aloud; then he commenced to pray in his own way. He needed +much teaching, so when he rose from his knees I said to him, "Now, +Billy, I have been to see you; it is your turn to some and see me next. +When will you come?" + +"This afternoon," he said. "Very good; come this afternoon." And he did. +More than that, this poor "lost soul" found peace in my study, to his +great joy; and he was not ashamed to acknowledge it openly, nor afraid +to praise God for His great goodness. + +The same evening he stood up in the schoolroom meeting, and told the +people what the Lord had done for his soul. There was great excitement +that night, and well there might be, for every one knew what a daring +and wicked man he had been. One man said that "if a corpse had come out +of the churchyard and spoken, he could not have been more frightened" +(more surprised, he meant). + +Old Billy's conversion gave a new and fresh impetus to the work, and +many more souls were added to the Lord. + +This dear man lived for three months after this, verifying the words I +was led to say to him at the beginning of our intercourse--that the Lord +was keeping him alive in order to have mercy upon him. At the end of +this time, his daughter came to me one morning in great haste, and said, +"Father is dying, and does so want to see you. Will you come?" I went +immediately. On reaching his house and entering: his bedroom, his wife +said, "You are too late; he is dead!" Softly I moved forward to the bed, +and looking on that face once more, I thought that I could still see +signs of life. Pressing his cold hand, I spoke a few words about the +loving kindness of the Lord. He knew me, and a smile brightened his face +at the precious name of Jesus. While we stood silently round his dying +bed, he said (evidently in reference to what he had heard), "not dead; +just beginning to live." Thus, with a sweet, triumphant smile, he +departed. + + +CHAPTER 13 + +Cottage Meetings, 1852. + +Our steps were now directed to another part of the parish, where we +commenced a series of cottage meetings in alternation with services in +the church. These meetings were inaugurated in a very remarkable manner, +in the house of a man named "Frank," who was well known as an +exceedingly wicked and careless fellow. His wife was among the fruits of +the revival, and prayed much for him; but the more she did so, the worse +he became. I used to try and comfort her with the thought that if he did +not give himself to God to be made better, it was well that he got +worse, for it was a proof that her prayers were telling; total +indifference would have been a far more discouraging sign. + +This was poor comfort to her, however, for he came home night after +night drunk; or if not so, swearing about the revival in the church, and +her praying. He often declared that if he ever caught me in his house, +he would "give me something for myself." He was at all times a very +irascible man, and being troubled with a wooden leg, it made him worse. +As he was unable to work in the mine, he was dependent for his support +on the parish authorities, who employed him to break stones on the road. + +Notwithstanding his bad temper and ill-feeling towards me, I always +stopped at his heap of stones when passing, and talked to him either +about the weather or some other trivial subject, being quite satisfied +that he knew the plan of salvation, as I had spoken to him about his +soul at the time of his wife's conversion. + +One day, when coming along, I observed Frank before me in the road, +busy, as usual, breaking stones, and began to think what I would speak +to him about, having no particular news to communicate. While I was thus +pondering, I came to his place, when, to my great astonishment, he was +not there. I looked around on all sides, and called, "Frank--Frank!" but +in vain--no one answered. There was no hedge or tree within sight for +him to hide behind; where could he be? All at once, I remembered that +there was a small gravel-pit about twenty-five or thirty yards from the +spot, but scarcely thought it possible he could be there. I went towards +it, however, still calling, "Frank--Frank!" and yet received no answer. +On looking in, sure enough, there was my man, lying down in the pit, +close up to the side, with his face to the ground. I said, "Frank, is +that you? What are you doing there? Are you ill?" + +"No," he replied, "I'm not. What d'yer want with me?" + +"Nothing in particular," I said; "but to tell the truth, I was so +surprised at your disappearance, that I could not pass on without +looking for you. I was so sure that I saw you in the distance, sitting +in your place; and then, when I came up, you were not there. I wondered +whether I had seen your ghost instead of you, and whether you were dead +or what. Are you hiding away from me?" + +Rising up, he said, "I had a terrible dream last night which frightened +me very much. A voice said, 'Go and see Mr. Haslam about your soul.' I +said, 'I will, I will, the first thing in the morning.' When the morning +came, I thought the evening would do; and when I saw you coming, it made +me tremble so, that I got up and hid myself here." + +I said, "Frank, it is no use for you to fight against God, or to stand +out against your wife's prayers. You had far better give in." + +He then told me that his dream referred to something in his past life, +and sitting down on the bank or side of the gravel pit, he said, 'When I +was ill with my leg (which was taken off), the doctor told me what I +should die. I then cried to the Lord to have mercy on me, and said that +if He would raise me up, I would give my heart to Him. I began to +recover from that day, and kept on intending and intending to give my +heart to God; but I never did it. I got quite well in health, but ever +since that time I have been getting worse and worse in mind. When my +wife was converted, it seemed as if the devil took possession of me +altogether, and the Lord warned me again last night." + +"Come now," I said, "you had better kneel down here and give up." It was +a lonely road on a bare common. "Kneel down," I repeated, "and let us +pray." He did so, and after prayer he said, "By God's help. I will give +up." + +"No," I replied, "that will not do. Say, 'Lord, take my heart. I +do'--not 'I will'--give up.'" + +After a short pause, he solemnly said, "I do; Lord, take my heart!" and +then began to cry. + +I gave him the text, "God so loved the world, that He gave His +only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, +but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). "Think over that," I said, "and +come to the schoolroom to-night." He did so, and was saved, to the great +joy of his soul. After the meeting was over, he remained behind a long +time, and gave vent to his feelings with tears, when he remembered the +goodness of God to him. + +"This wooden leg of mine," he said, "is a monument of God's mercy!" + +"How is that?" I inquired. + +"Several years ago," he said, "I was playing cards for money in a +public-house, and was cheating in order to win, when the man I was +playing with said, 'You would not have won that money if you had not +cheated.' I swore at him, and said, 'God strike my limbs if I did so!' I +knew I had; and the man would not believe that I had not. So we parted." + +"The next morning, I was working in the mine, close to a very large +piece of rock, which had been loosened with the blasting, when it +slipped from its place, and carried me along with it into the shaft. As +the heavy end was uppermost, it turned with its own weight, and fell +across the shaft, pinning me against the side. This rock was not less +than two or three tons weight. Notwithstanding the fearful shock, I +retained my senses; but one leg was smashed, and the other severely +wounded. 'God struck my limbs!' I cried for help; and when the men who +were attracted by my screams found me, they saw at once that it was +impossible to extricate me without moving the rock. There I remained for +more than two hours, till they had put a sling around my body. Having +done that, they adjusted a strong chain to the rock and lifted the end. +As soon as they succeeded in raising it, down it went, carrying plate, +ladders, and all before it, to the bottom of the shaft, which was many +fathoms deep, whilst I was left hanging in the sling. They then drew me +up, and took me to the hospital, where one leg was taken off and the +other set; but I was very ill for a long time. Oh, just think, if that +rock had not pinned my legs to the wall of the shaft, I should have been +in hell now! The Lord saved my life then--and has saved my soul now!" + +Dear Frank became a very zealous Christian, and for many years preached +the Gospel with much power and acceptance. After his conversion, he came +one morning to beg my pardon for having forbidden me his house, and to +ask if I would come and hold a meeting there for his neighbours. + +I did; and there was such a crowd inside, and also outside the house, +and so much blessing, that I was not satisfied with one visit, but went +again and again. + +The place was most inconveniently full; they turned out the chairs and +tables to make standing-room inside, and opened the windows and doors +for the people to hear outside; and sometimes, before the address was +over, men and women cried aloud for mercy. We could not kneel down to +pray--praying, singing, and hearing was done standing, and, that very +close together. The house was so uncomfortably thronged, that a miller +in the neighbourhood, who had a large room in the mill, begged me to +come and preach there instead. I accepted his invitation, and we went; +but, alas! there was no power there; it was hard to pray or preach; and +the people were not even attentive. Thus it was clearly seen that it is +not by might or by power of men, but by the Spirit of the Lord; and that +if the Lord was not present to work, no work was done. We went back to +Frank's cottage, and there again the manifest presence of God was +discernible; and every time we did so souls were saved. + +Next door to Frank lived a tall, gaunt, gipsy kind of woman, whom they +called "the wise woman." She had a marvellous gift of healing, and other +knowledge, which made people quite afraid of her. This woman took a +great interest in me and my work, and often came to church, besides +attending the meetings at Frank's house. + +One day, during these services, she paid a visit to the Parsonage, and +said, "My dear, have you a lemon in the house?" I went to inquire and +found that we had not. "Well, then," she said, "get one, and some honey +and vinegar, and mix them all together. You will want it. Mind you do, +now," she said, drawing herself up to her full height; "mind you do, you +will want it!" Then she put the bowl of her pipe into the kitchen fire, +and having ignited the tobacco, went away smoking. + +The servants were very much frightened by her manner and her warning, +and begged of me to get the lemon, saying, "It was about you, master; it +was about you that she came." + +I did not know where to get a lemon within three miles, but it so +happened that a man came to the door with a net full, for sale, that +same afternoon. We bought two, just to pacify the servants, and let them +make the mixture, thinking nothing more about it. + +In the course of the afternoon a very heavy thunder-storm fell upon us, +deluging the roads and lanes; and before it ceased I had to go to the +meeting. I took the precaution to put on thick shoes, and then set off +and walked through the rain. When I arrived at the cottage, I thought my +feet felt wet; but they were not cold, so that I soon forgot all about +them, and went on with the meeting, which lasted till ten o'clock; then +I returned home. On taking off my shoes, I was surprised to see how wet +and muddy my socks were. I had been standing with wet feet all the +evening. To guard against any ill effects, I put my feet in hot water +before going to bed. However, at three o'clock in the morning I awoke, +nearly choked with a severe fit of bronchitis; the thick, hard phlegm in +my throat almost suffocated me; I had to struggle for breath and life. +After an hour or more of the most acute suffering, my dear wife +remembered the lemon mixture, and called the servant to get up and bring +it. It was just in time. I was black in the face with suffocation; but +this compound relieved, and, in fact, restored me. I was greatly +exhausted with the effort and struggle for life, and after two hours I +fell asleep. I was able to rise in the morning and breathe freely, +though my chest was very sore. + +After breakfast, the "wise woman" appeared, standing outside the window +of the drawing-room, where I was lying on the sofa. + +"Ah, my dear," she said, "you were nearly gone at three o'clock this +morning. I had a hard wrestle for you, sure enough. If you had not had +that lemon, you know, you would have been a dead man by this time!" + +That mysterious creature, what with her healing art, together with the +prayer of faith and the marvellous foresight she had, was quite a terror +to the people. One day she came, and bade me go to a man who was very +worldly and careless, and tell him that he would die before Sunday. + +I said, "You go, if you have received the message." + +She looked sternly at me, and said, "You go! that's the message--you +go!" + +I went. The man laughed at me, and said, "That old hag ought to be +hanged." I urged him to give his heart to God, and prayed with him, but +to no effect. He was thrown from his cart, and killed the following +Saturday, coming home from market. + +Her sayings and doings would fill a book; but who would believe the +things? + +She was not always a bird of evil omen, for sometimes she brought me +good news as well as bad. One day she said, "There is a clergyman coming +to see you, who used to be a great friend of yours, but since your +conversion he has been afraid of you. He is coming; you must allow him +to preach; he will be converted before long!" Sure enough, my old friend +W.B.--, came as she predicted. He preached, and in due time was +converted, and his wife also; but his story shall come in its own place. + +The work at Frank's cottage stopped as suddenly as it began. I cannot +theorize about the subject; I merely state that so it was. It began, it +continued, and continued only in that house, and then it stopped. + +Another remarkable thing may here be observed--that on visiting the +cottages within a limited distance round Frank's house, people were +softened, and it was easy to persuade them to yield themselves to +Christ. They appeared to be quite ripe and ready. Just beyond this limit +the people were as hard and careless as ever. It seemed as if the power +of God overshadowed only a certain spot, and that all within that were +under Divine influence for the time, though all were not converted. They +acknowledged, however, that they felt the Spirit's power striving with +them, and they knew afterwards that it was withdrawn. "The wind bloweth +where it listeth." + + +CHAPTER 14 + +Open-Air Services, 1852. + +1. PERRANZABULOE + +AS the summer advanced, it was laid on heart to go and preach in the +parish of Perranzabuloe, where I had ministered in my unconverted days. +The vicar, would not consent to my having the church; but told me, in +writing, that he could not prevent my preaching on the common or the +beach. I thanked him for his suggestion as to the latter. As soon I was +able I made arrangements, and giving due notice, went down to the old +familiar place; but this time on a new errand, and it was to me a fresh +start in my work. I took my gown for this first open-air service; and on +arriving, found many hundreds of people already assembled at the +appointed place, on Perran beach. + +After giving out a hymn, which was most heartily sung, I prayed, +thanking God for the change He had wrought in my soul, and begging Him +to show that He had forgiven the past, by bestowing a manifest blessing +upon the present service. All this was loudly responded to, in Cornish +fashion, with hearty "Amens" and various other ejaculations to which I +was well accustomed. Then I read the beginning of the fifth chapter of +St. Luke, taking for my text the words, "Launch out into the deep, and +let down your nets for a draught." + +Having reminded the people how hard I had worked amongst them for four +years without seeing any conversions, I went on to show them, by way of +parallel, that Simon Peter had toiled all night and taken nothing, but +that when he went forth at the Lord's command, he enclosed a great +multitude of fishes. "Here," I said, "is encouragement for us to expect +a blessing now. Why did Simon Peter fail at first? and why did he +subsequently succeed? Why did he fail?--1. Because he went out in the +night. 2. At his own desire. 3. In the wisdom of men. Why did I fail?--1. +Because I preached and laboured in the night of my unconverted state. 2. +I laboured at the bidding of the Church. And, 3. According to the wisdom +and tradition of the fathers. Why did Peter succeed?--Because, 1. He +went out in the morning. 2. At the Lord's bidding. 3. With the Lord's +presence. + +"I am come (I was thankful to be able to say) in the bright sunshine of +my first love. Jesus, the Saviour, is the 'Sun of my soul, my Saviour +dear.'" The people cheered me so much with their responding, that I felt +as happy as they. The opening heaven seemed to shine around us, indeed, +"with beams of sacred bliss." They shouted again and again, "Glory to +God! Glory to God! Hallelujah! .... I am come now," I continued, "to +tell you from my own personal experience, about salvation and the +forgiveness of sins." "Yes, yes!" "Thank the Lord!" "Bless Him!" + +"I am come, dear friends, at the Lord's bidding. I feel sure that He put +it into my heart to do so. Oh, how much I longed to do you good when I +was your minister; but I could not, for I knew nothing about the Way +myself. Now, that I do, I am constrained to tell you. The love of God +within, and the Word of God without, compel me. + +"I feel I have the Lord's presence, for He not only promised it where +two or three are gathered together in His name; but also to those who +preach the Gospel, He said, 'Lo, I am with you alway!' His presence is +power. It is His word I bring you, not mine; I merely deliver it. He is +here. And be sure He loves you, and, what is more, takes a deeper +interest in this preaching than we can. He died for you, and shed His +blood for your forgiveness; how, then, can He do otherwise than take an +interest in the delivery of His message, and, more, in the result which +is to follow? + +"When Simon Peter let down his net, he was astonished; mark, it was a +net he let down into the deep, something which enclosed the fish, in +order that he might bring them out of their native element, the water. +So I preach the Gospel, not merely for the sake of preaching, but to +bring you from the power of Satan, in which we all are by nature, to +God, that you may receive the forgiveness of your sins. + +"We read that he enclosed a great multitude of fishes; I have faith to +believe that the Lord will bring many to Himself to-night." + +With shouting and praise the address was concluded and prayer was +offered. At the close, we found at least fifty people in that great +throng on their knees, crying for mercy. It was a most triumphant and +joyful time, and the people were loth to separate. We slept that night +at Porth, as that part of the village is called. + +The next morning two fishermen came to my lodging, bringing a large +basket of fish as a present. Their hearts had been cheered the preceding +night, and taking my word in a natural as well as a spiritual sense, +they went out once again and let down their nets. They had gone out many +nights before and taken nothing; but this time their venture was crowned +with success, and they came back rejoicing ill the Lord, who had shown +them that temporal as well as spiritual blessings come from Him. The +basket of fish they brought me was an acknowledgment of their heartfelt +gratitude. + +After breakfast, as we were walking on the seashore, under the majestic +cliffs which have stood as a wall against the Atlantic waves for +centuries, we heard our good-natured Newfoundland dog barking at +something on the rocks; we looked up, and behold! There was an +exquisitely graceful fawn-coloured kid, with a scarlet collar and bells, +bounding about playfully on the narrow ledges of the rocks. It seemed to +us to be leaping about on the face of the cliff, for we could not see +the little ledges on which it picked its way. It was quite out of the +dog's reach, and appeared to know it, judging from the coquettish and +defiant manner in which it was jumping about, in high glee at its +independence. While we were standing watching the pretty and graceful +creature, a young lady came out from behind other rocks, and called to +her pet, which arched its little neck and looked at her, then at the +dog, as if it would say, "How can I come down?" I walked towards her, +and on speaking, found that she knew me, and that I had seen her when +she was a child. After a little talk about the playful kid, I asked her +if she had been to the meeting; she said "she had, and she had not!" + +I waited silently for an explanation. Presently, she said that her mamma +had forbidden her to go to "such wild meetings," but that her father had +asked her to walk with him under a wall in the garden, there they could +and did hear every word; and she added, "I think papa has found +peace--he is so very happy'." + +"And have not you also?" I asked. + +"Ah," she replied, "I wish I could." + +The more I talked with her, the more convinced I felt she was in +earnest, but that something stood in the way. She said she did not know +what it was--that she really wished for salvation, and was willing to +give up everything. I said, "Do you think your mother would let you +return with us on a short visit? We are just going back to Baldhu." + +She said, "Mamma is not at home: she has gone away for three days; but I +think papa would let me go. Shall I ask him?" + +She did; and soon returned, saying that she might do so if we could +promise to bring her back in two days. This being settled, she hastened +to get her things ready, and sent her maid to fetch home the pet kid, +which she bade her take great care of during her absence: then we set +off. + +On arriving at our house she went straight to her bedroom, and there on +her knees implored God's mercy, and remained pleading and praying for +five hours, before she found peace. Then she came down among us, +rejoicing in the Lord. That evening she spent at the meeting, and the +next day in visiting among the cottages. On the third day, after a happy +visit, we took her home to her father, rejoicing in the liberty of the +children of God. + +Her mother returned the day after, and when she was told of the change +in her husband and her daughter Lucy, she became exceedingly angry, and +wrote, not to thank, but to forbid us the house; also prohibiting +further intercourse. At the same time she declared her intention to get +all that nonsense out of her daughter's head as soon as possible. She +dragged this poor girl out to parties and amusements of every kind, +against her will, which had the effect of making her dislike them the +more, and caused her to cleave steadfastly to the Lord in prayer. + +Six months later, she was taken ill, and after a few weeks' suffering +she died, rejoicing that her sins were pardoned, and that she was going +home. It was evident that God would not trust that mother with a +daughter whose soul she was determined to injure. He took His child away +to Himself. + +2. ROSE-IN-VALE + +The open-air preaching at Perran led to many similar services there, and +at other places. I will tell of two only, to prevent sameness, and for +fear of tiring the reader. + +The former of these, was at a place called Rose-in-vale, in the same +parish, on the lawn of the chief parishioner. He was an uneducated man, +who had risen from the rank of a common miner to that of a mine captain. +Being very shrewd and clever, he had succeeded in accumulating a +considerable sum of money; and though he and his wife had a very large +house, they chiefly occupied two of the smallest rooms. "Them fine +things up in the parlours," he said, he "made no 'count of;" indeed he +was anything but comfortable or easy in his state apartments. Being the +wealthy man of the parish, he sat on Sunday in the large square pew; but +beyond giving personal attendance, and that very regularly, I do not +know what other heed he gave, either to the service or the sermon. + +During this summer he invited me to give "a preaching" in his garden. +Accordingly, on a fixed day, I went, and tried to speak, but found it +most difficult to do so. I know not why; but again and again I felt as +though I had lost the thread of my discourse and was rambling--that I +was at a loss for words, and could not hold the attention of the people. +Perplexed, and greatly discouraged, I was not sorry when the time came +to conclude; therefore I did not invite the people to remain for an +after-meeting for prayer. Several persons came up and asked me why I had +dismissed the assembly. "Ah!" I replied, "because there is no power. I +could not get on at all!" They were surprised, and said they thought +that I had been helped more than usual, and were quite sure that the +Lord was working among the people. However, the congregation had gone +now, and could not be recalled. This only made me feel more distressed +than before. + +The feeling was very strong with which I had been so burdened while +speaking; and, to add to my perplexity, I observed three coast-guard +men, who had come some five or six miles, behaving badly, and laughing +all the time (as I thought) at my discourse, to the great discomfiture +of my preaching. Open-air addresses were not common in those days, and +for a man to set up (as some said) and pretend to be a second Whitfield +or Wesley, was bad enough, but to fail was most humiliating! + +Three years after this, I was travelling outside a coach, when a rough +sailor-looking man came climbing up to the top, although he was told +that there was no room. "Never mind," he said; "I will sit on the boxes. +I want to talk to this here gentleman." So saying, he perched himself on +the luggage, and offered to shake hands with me. "Do you know me?" I +asked. + +"Oh yes, bless you, of course I do! Don't you remember three coast-guard +men at Captain O--'s garden?" + +"Yes," I said, "indeed I do, and am not likely to forget them easily; +they behaved so badly, and disturbed me so much." + +"Well," he continued, "I'm one o' them. I don't know why we laughed and +made fun, for we all on us felt your words deeply, and went home to +pray; and a few days afterwards we were all three converted--that we +were. Praise the Lord! After that, we volunteered for the navy, to go to +the Crimea war. I've been in some hot scenes, sure enough. One day we +got a little too near the Russian battery, and they peppered us +brave--no mistake, I assure you; they cut our masts and rigging to +pieces, and ploughed up our deck with their shots. Men were being killed +on every side of me. I thought, now I shall see the King in His glory. +My soul was so happy, I expected every moment to be cut down and sent +into His presence; but not a shot touched me! I had not even a scratch; +and here I be, safe and sound, all through mercy!" + +Thus, these three men, who made me at the time so unhappy, and disturbed +me to such a degree, turned out well, after all. + +Since then, on several occasions, I have felt as discouraged in +preaching as I was that day; and though again and again I have said that +I will not heed it, I have nevertheless found it difficult to be unmoved +under this mysterious influence. I write this for the comfort and +consolation of others who are afflicted under similar circumstances, +that they may not be cast down by their feelings. + +3. Mount Hawke + +The next occasion was very different, and quite a contrast in results. I +was invited to a neighbouring parish, which formerly used to be united +with Perran at the time when I had sole charge of it. Here, on the +appointed Saturday afternoon, I found not fewer than three thousand +people assembled on the common. They had erected a kind of platform, +with a canvas awning, to shelter me from the wind, which always blows +with more or less violence in Cornwall, even when it is not raining. + +There I stood and beheld this concourse of people, evidently full of +large expectation. I gave out the hymn-- + +"Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing +My great Redeemer's praise!" + +This was heartily sung; and after prayer for a blessing, I announced my +text, and spoke from the fact, that Christ Jesus came into the world to +save sinners. Upon enforcing this as worthy of all acceptation, I +pressed the thought, that the Lord Jesus came more than eighteen hundred +years ago, and that is present still, and able to work greater than He +wrought then; for indeed He only began then to do and to teach what He +is doing and teaching continuously now. + +A mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord came on the people, and several +hundreds fell upon their knees simultaneously, and many began to cry +aloud for mercy. The strange part was, that the power of the Lord +appeared to pass diagonally through the crowd, so that there was a lane +of people on their knees six or eight feet deep, banked up on either +side by others standing. It extended from the left-hand corner near me, +to the right-hand corner in the distance. + +It was quite impossible to go on preaching, so I gave out a hymn, and +then went in among "the slain of the Lord." After about an hour, some +one suggested that we should go to the school-room; as it was getting +dark. The clergyman of the parish was on horseback in the lane close by, +watching proceedings. I asked him if we could have the use of the +school-room. "Oh yes," he said; "yes, certainly--certainly--anything." +He seemed very frightened. The men and women in distress of soul were +led to the room, crying and praying as they went. When I reached the +place, I found it impossible to get in, far it was already full, besides +a throng standing at the door. I was taken to a window at last, and +getting in through that, I stood on the schoolmaster's table, which was +near. + +Against the wall the men had, in miners' fashion, set up with clay some +candles, which were beginning to bend over with the heat of the room. +The place was densely packed, and the noise of the people praying for +mercy was excessive. I could do no more than speak to those who were +near me round the table. As they found peace one by one and were able to +praise God, we asked them to go out and let others come. In this way the +meeting went on till ten o'clock, when I left; and it continued to go on +all night and all the next day without cessation. It will scarcely be +credited, but that same meeting was prolonged by successive persons +without any intermission, day and night, till the evening of Sunday, the +eighth day after it began. This kind of thing was not unusual in +Cornwall, for we had the same in our school-room at Baldhu for three +days and nights; but eight days is the longest period of which I have +any personal knowledge. + +I went again and again to see how they were going on; but the people +were too absorbed to heed my presence; and those who were then seeking +mercy were strangers to me, and had not been present at the service on +the previous Saturday. + + +CHAPTER 15 + +Drawing-Room Meetings, 1852-53. + +From that time I did not confine myself so much to my own church, but +frequently went out to preach in other places, as opportunities +occurred; and these were, for the most part, brought about by remarkable +and unsought-for incidents. + +One Sunday a lady and gentleman came to my church from one of the +neighbouring towns; they were professors of religion, and members of +some Dissenting body. My sermon that evening was upon wheat and +chaff--the former was to be gathered into the garner, the latter burned +with fire unquenchable. I said that we were all either one or the +other--to be gathered or burned. They went away very angry, and +complained one to another of my want of charity; they also remarked that +I took good care to let the people know that I was not amongst the chaff +which was to be burned. The arrows of the Lord had evidently found them, +and had pierced the joints in their harness. They could not sleep all +night for anger and distress. In the morning the gentleman rose early, +and before breakfast had his horse out, and galloped over eight miles to +see me. He came with the intention of finding fault, but instead of this +he burst into tears, and told me that he was the greatest of sinners. + +He was in sore distress, which increased all the more as he gave vent to +his feelings. I could not help rejoicing, and told him that God had +wounded him, but that He only wounds to heal, and kills to make alive. + +"Ah," he said, "that is the first thought of comfort I have had; it is +like balm to my soul." + +We knelt down and prayed; then I had the privilege of leading him to +Christ, and we praised God together. + +I gave him some breakfast, and after that rode back with him to see his +wife, whom he had left in the morning in great trouble of mind. We found +her up, and rejoicing. It was most touching to witness the mutual +surprise and joy of these two loving ones, when they discovered that +they were now united in the Lord. + +She told us, that after her husband's departure she was in such terrible +trouble that she got up to pray, and that while she was on her knees she +saw a vision on the bed-cover. Before her was printed, in large visible +letters, "Thy sins be forgiven thee;" she could scarcely believe her +eyes, but with her own finger she traced the letters, and was sure they +were there. Taking them as a message from Christ, she rose and thanked +Him, and now felt quite sure she was saved. I could not help telling her +not to believe in her eyes or her visions, but in Jesus, and the fact +that He had died for her. Having thanked God together, they next began +to think of their servants; so we sent for them, and both master and +mistress told them what the Lord had done for their souls; and while we +were praying, they all three cried aloud for mercy, and found peace. + +This was the commencement of a good work in that town by drawing-room +meetings, and many were gathered to the Lord. Amongst the number was the +mayor of the town, who in his turn wished to have a meeting at his +house. As soon as I was able to fix the day, he invited his friends, but +on finding that so many more desired to come than he could accommodate, +he announced that the meeting would be held at the Town Hall. Great +interest was excited, and it was soon evident that even this building +would not be large enough, so it ended in the Temperance Hall being +selected. The vicar hearing about it, wrote to protest, and asked me to +call on him before I went to the place of meeting. He said it was bad +enough for me to come to his parish to private houses, but to come to a +public room, and that a large one, was quite out of the question. + +I endeavoured to show him that the lecture or address I had come to give +was not an official or ministerial act; but he would not see that. I +also suggested that there was no law against it. He, begging my pardon, +said "The 'Conventicle Act' had not been repealed yet, and that no one +could lawfully hold a meeting of more than twenty persons." + +"But surely," I replied, "that is virtually repealed by the 'Toleration +Act.' A clergyman ought not to be in greater bondage in England than a +layman, or more restricted. Anybody else can come and preach the Gospel +in your parish, and you cannot hinder it. Do not hinder me. It will do +you no harm." + +He said, "I cannot conscientiously allow it. It is against the Canons." + +"Which Canon is it against?" I asked. + +He took down a book and showed it me, but casting my eyes on the one +before, and another which followed, I found that we neither of us +observed the one or the other. Why, then, be so zealous about this? +"Besides," I said, "you are not responsible; you have not asked me, nor +have I asked your consent. Your conscience need not be troubled about +the matter." + +"But," he said, impatiently, "I am determined that you shall not preach +in this parish. I will inform the Bishop." + +I replied, that "the Bishop had not any jurisdiction in this case; there +is no law on the subject. The Conventicle Act only refers to worship, +not to service or preaching." + +He said, that he "could see no difference whatever between worship and +service." + +"But," I said, "I am sure the Bishop knows, and will acknowledge, the +great difference between these two." + +Then, changing his tone, he said, "Now, come, there's a good fellow, +don't preach at the Town Hall." + +"My dear man," I answered, "I am not a 'good fellow' at all I cannot +give it up." + +"Then," he said, "at least please to defer your address for a week, till +we can get the Bishop's decision." + +He asked so kindly and earnestly, and made such a point of it, that I +consented to wait for the Bishop's answer, and defer the preaching for a +week. He was very pleased, and said that I was indeed a 'good fellow', +but the praise I got from him barely satisfied my conscience, and I was +ashamed to meet my friends. I had not gone far before my courage failed; +so, going back, I said that "I must withdraw my consent to defer the +meeting. I will take the consequences and responsibilities, and go on." + +"No, no." cried the vicar, "I will arrange for the Postponement of your +meeting. Look here, I have written out a notice for the crier; he shall +go round the town at once, and tell the people that the meeting is +unavoidably deferred for a week." + +I was very reluctantly persuaded to yield, and then went to my friend +and told him what I had done. He was very much vexed with me, and said, +"Then we must go at once and tell the mayor before he hears the crier." +We did so, and found that this personage was disappointed too, and +advised me to go away out of sight of the people. Accordingly, my friend +and I went to a house which commanded a good view of the town and +principal streets, from whence we could see the people assembling and +dispersing. A large gang of them stood opposite my friend's house, and +asked if I would not preach to them in the open air; and when they +ascertained that the vicar had hindered the preaching, they were much +exasperated. + +In the evening I went back to my own parish, and had the usual service, +which I found very refreshing after so much bickering about +technicalities. + +The Bishop's letter arrived in due time. In it his lordship said, that +he "always had entertained a great esteem for me and my obedience to +authority, and highly commended me for postponing or giving up my +service at the above town." As he did not say a single word of +prohibition, I immediately wrote to the mayor to expect me on the +following Tuesday, "For the Bishop had not forbidden me," and I also +wrote to the vicar to the same effect. Large bills, with large letters +on them, announced that "the Rev. William Haslam will positively preach +in the Temperance Hall at three o'clock on Tuesday next." + +The churchwardens of the parish were requested to attend the meeting, +and protest, on behalf of the vicar, and also to present the +archdeacon's monition. They stood beside me all the time, and after the +service was concluded they showed me the archidiaconal instrument, with +a great seal appended to it. They said that they "dared not stop that +preaching," and so they took their monition back. + +This gave rise to a long correspondence in the newspapers, some taking +part on my side, and some against me. Thus the question was ventilated, +and finally concluded, by a letter from some one, who said, "The Bishop +of Exeter is one of the greatest ecclesiastical lawyers we have, and if +he cannot stop Mr. Haslam, the question is settled; for be sure his +lordship has all the will to stop this preaching, and would do so if he +had the power." + +From that time I never hesitated to preach the Gospel in any parish or +diocese where I was invited. So few of the clergy asked me, that I was +obliged to go out in spite of them, or, at any rate, without asking +their consent, and in consequence of this, I am afraid I became +obnoxious to many of my clerical brethren. Since then things are much +changed. The Earl of Shaftesbury has succeeded in getting an Act passed +through both Houses of Parliament, to settle the question about such +services. Now any clergyman may preach in Exeter Hall, or any other +public non-ecclesiastical building, without consulting the vicar of the +parish. Besides this, a general disposition has arisen amongst the +clergy, from one end of the land to the other, to have "missions," so +that there is no need to work independently of clergymen, but with them, +and very cheering it is to be thus employed. It was not pleasant to +witness the scowl and the frown, nor to get the cold shoulder. Thank +God, times are changed now; but I must needs tell of some of the scenes +I was in, and the opposition I had to encounter, during the years that +are gone by. + + +CHAPTER 16 + +Opposition, 1853. + +I have been telling hitherto of blessing and prosperity in the Lord's +work. Many more cases might have been mentioned, and many other things +of not less moment and interest; but enough has been said, I hope, to +show the character of the work, and give some idea of the amount of +blessing which attended it. But it must not be supposed that the offence +of the cross had ceased, or that the enmity of the carnal mind was never +stirred; indeed, I always doubt the reality of a work which moves on +without opposition. On the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Ghost was +first given, while believers were rejoicing, and sinners were pricked to +the heart, and some mocked, there arose the opposition of others, who +resisted the influence of the Spirit; and being "cut to the heart," they +gnashed with their teeth, and went forward in furious contention against +the Lord's work. So it was with us. + +The opposition ran very high, but I do not think it was of malice or +hatred, but rather "righteous indignation." The instigators of it were +serious and earnest persons, who verily thought they were doing right. +They tried first to save me from what they considered was my +infatuation; and failing that, did all they could to save others from my +bad influence. "I bear them record, that they had a zeal for God, but +not according to knowledge." It was just such a zeal as I had before I +was converted; therefore my heart's desire was drawn out towards them, +and I made continual efforts to win them. + +One dear friend of old time said he felt "so hurt" because I was +changed, and often wondered why "God did not strike me dead for all the +harm I had done to the Church." Another said that he "should not be +surprised if the very ground opened and swallowed me up for my +fraternizing with schismatics. The sin of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram was +nothing to mine." At the Clerical Meeting, which I attended +notwithstanding all this stir against me, I was beset on every side with +something more than loving reproaches; for evidently my old friends were +very much grieved, and could not forgive me for what they considered the +betrayal of Church principles. + +A special meeting or synod of the clergy was convened by the Rural Dean, +to take into consideration among other things, my defection, and to +decide what public notice should be taken on the subject of this great +scandal. I also attended this meeting, and found my brethren in a very +angry and excited state. One after another got up and made grievous +charges against me, about the proceedings in my church and parish. The +burden of their distress, however, seemed to be noise and excitement. + +They said that "There was brawling in my church, and howling in my +schoolroom, women fainting and men shouting in a most fanatical manner. +They had not witnessed these scenes themselves, but they were credibly +informed of them. Moreover, they asserted, on good authority, that I +preached a very different doctrine to that which was authorized by the +Church. I had declared that there was no salvation by the Church and +Sacraments, but by simple faith in Christ; that any man--it did not +matter what his previous life had been--if he only came to my preaching, +and did as I told him, would be saved." These, and many other such +charges, were made and supported by shouts of "Hear! hear!" and cries of +"Shame!" The Rural Dean said he was glad Mr. Haslam was present to +answer for himself; he had observed that I had sat very quietly to hear +others; and he now hoped that a patient hearing would be given to me. + +I rose, and said I was very thankful to be there, and to have this +opportunity of testifying before them all that the Lord had converted my +soul! + +There was a little interruption here, but after a time I was permitted +to go on. I said that before I was converted, I was even more zealous +than any of them against this change, and greatly prejudiced against it. +I actually flogged a big boy in my school for going to a chapel and +professing to be converted; this I did before all the children, and he +promised that he would "never be converted any more." I could, +therefore, well understand their present feelings, and said that I was +not angry with them, but rather prayed that they might, in their turn, +be enabled to see these things as I now saw them, and be saved as I was. + +Upon this, there arose a great disturbance. The Rural Dean gave me +credit for candour, and said he thought I meant well, but that I implied +too much against my brethren; however, he had said before, and would +repeat it, that I had listened quietly' to what others had said, and +that now I was entitled to a patient hearing a little longer. + +But this could not be, for I was stopped at every Fresh statement I +made, and had so many questions put to me, that I begged for only one at +a time. I was enabled to stand my ground calmly, and endeavoured to +answer the charges in order as they were brought out. To all +appearances, I had to stand quite alone in that tumultuous party. We had +met at twelve o'clock, and after four hours were still in the heat of +conflict. + +At last, to conclude this extraordinary meeting, one of the Clergy rose +and said that he felt it was his painful yet necessary duty to propose +that "a vote of censure be passed on Mr. Haslam." It was not seconded, +and so fell to the ground. Whereupon, another rose '"to record a protest +against revival meetings, as contrary to the usage of the Church." This +also failed; and as no one else had anything to say, the conclave of +divines broke up. What they would have said or done, if I had not +attended to be torn to pieces by them, I know not; all I can say is, +that they separated without eating me up. Some of them came to me +afterwards and seemed pleased that I had stood my ground so +good-naturedly, and thought that I had had a great badgering. + +The opposition did not stop there--sermons were preached in several of +the neighbouring churches, and people earnestly warned against attending +certain services, and told not to countenance them by their presence. +The newspapers also took up the matter, and public report was not behind +in its usual exaggeration. + +I give here an extract from a Letter I thought it necessary to write at +this time, on "RELIGIOUS EXCITEMENT": + +"My Dear Sir,--I have been seriously considering, for some time, the +necessity of making a public statement respecting the work of God in +this place; with a view partly of drawing attention to an all-important, +though very neglected subject; and partly with a view of giving some +definite and authoritative form to the various and varied reports which +are in circulation. It is vain to pretend to know nothing about them, +and it is equally vain to suppose that reports about our proceedings are +likely to lose less by repetition, than those on other subjects of less +moment. + +"I embrace, therefore, the opportunity which your Sermon on RELIGIOUS +EXCITEMENT offers, to make a statement. + +"I do remonstrate against your publishing to the world a sermon avowedly +against 'proceedings connected with a neighbouring church;' and that +instead of encouragement, counsel, and cooperation in what I know is the +work of God, I receive this public rebuke. I make this remonstrance the +more earnestly, because several of the opinions you have expressed, are +not, as I believe, consistent with the teaching of our Church; and +lastly, I venture to be the remonstrant, because I am the person, and +mine the church, which are the objects of your animadversions. + +"You hold deservedly a high position among us in respect of rank and +esteem for your piety and learning; but at the hazard of incurring the +imputation of arrogance, I cannot, I must not, and I will not be +unfaithful to the light in which I walk, by the grace of God; and +therefore I do simply and plainly protest, in the first place, against +the supposition that Excitement is a means which I am using, or an end I +have in view; secondly, against the supposition that conversion is a +gradual work, which is to be worked out by Sacraments and Means of +Grace; and thirdly, against a teaching which supposes and actually +declares that a Person may believe, may be pardoned, may be cleansed +from sin, yet not know it." + +"In the sense in which you censure Religious Excitement, namely, as a +means to 'force, as it were, the Spirit of the Lord,' and 'for the +purpose of strongly working on the animal feelings, etc.,' it may be +justly censurable. Those who make excitement the end and object of their +endeavours in a religious movement, must soon find the emptiness of it; +they throw dust into their own eyes, and will ever verify your words +that 'excitement lifts up for a moment and then lets fall again,' and +that 'like dram-drinking, it leaves those that indulge in it weaker than +before.' + +"Those who really are engaged in the work of God, and especially +conversion work, must meet with 'excitement.' It is impossible for a +sinner, under connection of sin, to remain in a calm imperturbable +state: or when the despairing sinner comes to a knowledge of that +Saviour who made Atonement for him, to help being excited with joy. +Noble or peasant, gentle or uneducated, I am sure there will be +excitement, and overflowing joy and gladness. + +"A man who never felt himself a lost sinner, and never knew his need of +the Saviour, may reason gravely of the impropriety of 'excitement,' and +the man who has never experienced the liberty of deliverance from the +'horrible pit, and the mire and clay,' may seem to be wise on the +subject of Christian joy; but he knows it not. The outburst of joy in +the newly born child of God, is as undiscriminating as the joyous mirth +of children. But it becomes more subdued as the child grows on to 'the +conquering young man,' and more chastened still when the 'young man' +attains to that state which St. John terms 'father.' This I have no +doubt is the kind of Christian joy you expect to see, and without which +you are not satisfied.* But, dear friend, remember the perfect Temple +was not built in one, but three days. + +____________________________________________ + +* "I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you +for His name's sake. I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known +Him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye +have overcome the Wicked One."--1 John 2:12, 13. +________________________________________ + +"We are at foundation work; and you rebuke us for an unfinished temple! +Your rebuke is not undeserved in one sense: we ought to have attained to +great advancements, and to have begun long ago; but God has had patience +with us. In this beginning' there seems to be confusion to superficial +observers, and there must be 'excitement;' but this, as I said, is not +the end in view, or the means we use. It is not long since I could +reason a against 'excitement,' and thought as many do now, that in +connection With religion it is irreverent, and unbecoming. + +"Oh, what a snare is this unfeeling 'propriety!' It is really a dislike +of being aroused from sleep; a fearful hugging of oneself into apathetic +security, and lying down in the arms of the Wicked One for a fatal +slumber. Oh that I could 'excite' such persons! that I could arouse +them! that by any means I could awaken these souls from the sleep of +death! I would glory in the censure and rejoice in the blame. Would that +I could reach your heart and the hearts of many of my other brethren; +that we might unite together and raise a louder call! There should be a +more excited blast, as from a trumpet, to stir the masses of those who +come duly and regularly 'to hear us every Sunday,' a louder, stronger, +and more urgent and thrilling cry, Repent! Repent! We want more fearless +plain speaking, more personal appeal. It is not refined to preach of the +grave and death, judgment and hell,--it is 'ranting:' but nevertheless +let us 'rant;' let us be faithful; let us tell the sinner that he must +die; and that he will die in his sins and perish for ever, except he +repent and be converted that his sins may be blotted out. Let us tell +him that he 'is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the +Name of the only-begotten Son of God' (John 3:18): that 'the wrath of +God abideth on him' (verse 35). Instead of arguments against +'excitement,' let us have a united cry against sin and frivolity +wherever it is. There is excitement against 'excitement' now; let there +be excitement, if you will, against indifference, and neglect of +religion." + +Many of the proceedings in our parish were, I confess, more tumultuous +than I could justify, more noisy and exciting than I thought needful; +but I could not control the people. If they had been educated to ideas +of propriety and self-control, the impulse of Divine power, which really +then filled them, might have found expression in a more quiet and +orderly manner. To hinder their rejoicings therefore, though they were +considered so obnoxious, would have been to withstand the Spirit of God. +As the people had not been taught better, I could not interfere with +them; I would rather bear the obloquy of men. + +For instance, one day, by way of change, I had a meeting for the Bible +Society, and invited some of the clergy who sympathized with its object. +They attended, and others came out of curiosity "to see these revival +people." We had a large gathering, and everything began smoothly. 'My +Scripture-reader, who was naturally a most excitable and noisy man, +tried to do his best before the clergy; he spoke of the sweet words +which they had heard from the reverend speakers; it was charming, he +said, to hear of a good cause supported in such "mellifluous accents," +and so forth. He got a little wild towards the end, but on the whole he +was to be praised for his kind efforts to give a quiet tone to the +meeting'. By this time, our friend "Billy Bray" had appeared on the +scene, and gave us chapter and verse from one end of the Bible to the +other, on the subject of "dancing for joy." He propounded his theory, +that if a man did not praise God, he would not rise in the resurrection; +if he only praised God with his mouth, he would rise like those things +carved on the tombstones, with swelling cheeks and wings; if he clapped +his hands (suiting his actions to the words) he would have a pair of +hands as well at the resurrection; and if he danced with his feet, he +would rise complete. He hoped to rise like that, to sing, to clap his +hands, dance, and jump too. The worst of jumping in this world, he said, +was that he had to come down again, but even in heaven he supposed the +higher he danced and jumped, the higher he would be; walking in heaven, +to his mind, was praising God, one foot said "Glory," and the other +"Hallelujah." + +Under Billy's original theories the people were warming up, and becoming +a little responsive, and "Billy" himself was getting excited. In +reference to some remarks which had been made by a previous speaker +about Samson, he said that he felt as happy and strong as Samson; then +suddenly he put his arms round me, as I was standing gesticulating and +making signs to the people to be still, and taking me up as he had done +once before, he carried me down the schoolroom, crying out, "Here go the +postes! Glory! hallelujah!" It was useless to resist, for he held me +with an iron grasp; so I remained still, hoping at every step that he +would put me down. I suppose he imagined himself to be Samson carrying +off the gates of Gaza. 'The people got what they called "happy," and +shouted and praised God most vociferously. I gave out a hymn, but the +joy of the Cornish people could not be restrained within the bounds of a +tune, or form of words. Some of them became very excited and +unmanageable; only those who have witnessed such scenes can understand +what I mean. The power of God was great, though the demonstrations were +very human. My visitors trembled with fear, and made their escape as +precipitately as they possibly could. To those who are not in the power +of the Spirit such rejoicings are unintelligible; lookers-on are +stumbled or offended because they only see and feel the human +manifestation, and not the Divine power; they are like people who get +all the smoke, and none of the warmth of the fire. + +I made up my mind for the worst, for we had a reporter there, and some +others who were only too ready to make the most of such a scene. +Nevertheless I would rather have the same thing over and over again, +than have the most stately and orderly ceremonials conjoined with +spiritual death. These things, with all their proprieties, are very +chilling to living souls, and all the more hurtful because dead souls +are satisfied by them instead of being disturbed. + +Dear Mr. Aitken was very angry with us, when he heard the things which +were reported; and, like a good spiritual father, he came over to teach +us better. He preached one of his own strong sermons, on the difference +between emotion and principle, and after beating us down very hard, his +dear heart relented, and he tried to cheer and lift us up. This last is +always an easy thing to do in Cornwall. The people soon responded to his +efforts, and began to praise God; and then he took fire, and praised +too. Mutually exciting and being excited, his powerful voice could be +heard above the din of hundreds of shouting voices. The dear man was +happy in his soul, and so was I, and we did not care a halfpenny for the +outside world, newspapers, or anything else. + +We had obloquy with opposition; and even to my personal friends I could +not give satisfactory explanations of these things. One suggested that I +should read a paper at the next Clerical Meeting, and give a statement +in exposition of my views and practices. This I consented to do, and Mr. +Aitken kindly helped me to write it. On the appointed day I undertook to +read it, on condition that no one interrupted me till I had finished. It +was a hard task for them to sit still, but they managed to do so; and at +the end, burst out upon me in a volley of censure and disapprobation. I +was obliged to tell them that they were not converted, and therefore +could not understand these things. + +I wrote a pamphlet to show that the Church of England's teaching was +based on conversion, and not on baptism; and that the Reformation was to +the Church of England what Conversion was to the individual reformers. +Taking my own change as an illustration, I said, that I used to rest on +Baptism and the Church, and that now I was standing on the Rock, Christ +Jesus. Once I worked for life, and now I worked from life; that is, +because I possessed it. I declared that this was the characteristic +difference between the Church of England as it is, and as it was when +connected with the Church of Rome. This pamphlet would not satisfy them. +I then wrote and published a letter to the Archdeacon, in which, in my +young zeal, I charged the clergy with being unconverted, and doing the +devil's work of hindering the salvation of souls, and that they seemed +to stand on their parish boundaries and say, "This is my parish, and you +shall not come here to disturb the sleep of death which now reigns." +This poured no oil upon the waters. + +I then wrote another pamphlet upon which I spent much time, thought, and +prayer. I took the manuscript and read it to Mr. Aitken. He walked up +and down in his large room, while I was reading, and ejaculated, as only +he could, "Bless God! Glory be to God!" When I finished, I said, "Shall +I print it?" + +He said, "It is worth printing, but it will do no good. It is like a +little doggie barking at a dead elephant. We shall never convert the. +Church as a body: we must try and get at individuals. I am quite +convinced we shall not succeed unless we work in this, way." + + +CHAPTER 17 + +Individual Cases, 1853. + +An Archbishop of Canterbury, in old times, contrasted public preaching +with personal dealing in this way: When we preach, it is like dashing +water from a bucket upon so many vessels which are arranged before +us-some drops fall into one, and some into another, while others remain +empty; but when we speak to individuals, it is like pouring water into +the neck of a vessel. + +I gave up writing and printing pamphlets, and went on as quietly as I +could with my own work, looking out for individual cases as they +presented themselves in the providence of God. In this way, without +fermenting controversy or keeping up public excitement, I was able more +effectually to impart my meaning, than by printed statements, which I +found were misunderstood or distorted; and what is more, I was able to +apply the truth with an individual "Have you?" It would take more space +than I can afford to tell of the souls which were gained in this way. I +will give here only a few instances, which are interesting, and which +will sustain the thread of my narrative. The first was in the case of +one who began an argument on Baptismal Grace. I asked him what it was. +"I know what converting or saving' grace is; but what is this?" He did +not say more, than that in Baptism he was made a member of Christ, a +child of God, and an inheritor of the kingdom of heaven. + +"But," I asked, "suppose you have not repented and believed, what then?" +Receiving no answer, I continued, "Then, nothing; but the responsibility +and the name." + +A few days afterwards he came to me, saying that I had made him quite +miserable, and asked me whether I meant to deny the necessity of +baptism. I said, "Certainly not, but the condition of faith and +repentance must be fulfilled. Whatever Baptismal Regeneration may be, +Spiritual Regeneration is the work of the Spirit in those who believe in +Christ Jesus." After a long talk and prayer, he appeared to understand +that a conscious change should be wrought in him, and a spiritual +faculty imparted, by which he could "see the kingdom of God." He +remained for the evening service and meeting in the schoolroom and was +much impressed with what he witnessed. Instead of going away, he stayed +with me till after midnight, when he found peace with God (as he said) +in the church where we had been praying. Then he ordered his horse and +rode home; but before he set out, he exacted a promise from me that I +would not mention his conversion to any one. I consented to this, on the +condition that he announce the change which had been wrought in him, +from his pulpit on the following Sunday. + +A few days afterwards my friend came to me in a great rage, and charged +me with announcing his conversion all over the town. I told him that I +was not sure enough of it myself to say anything about it, and that I +had not spoken to a single person on the subject. Still he seemed to +doubt me, for he said his brother had been with him, and had told him +that it was known all over the town that he had been to Baldhu, and that +he was converted. Upon inquiry, I found out that my servant, who sat up +till after mid-night to get his horse, had overheard our conversation, +and was the offending party. + +I am always afraid of persons who are ashamed to acknowledge their +conversion. My friend, I am sorry to say, made no announcement, but went +on preaching as if he had always been the same, and consequently never +came out to be of any use or help in the work. His testimony was +indistinct also, and without any power. He became a very popular +preacher afterwards, which was his great ambition, for he cared more for +a large congregation than for Wining Souls. + +Soon after this, I fell across another of my old friends in the street. +He tried to avoid me, but I went up and shook hands with him. At first +he would not look at me, and said he was afraid of me because I had +changed my views. I assured him that I had not changed anything, but +that I had myself been changed. As he was listening, I went on to tell +him that I had long tried to make myself good enough for God's +acceptance, but finding that Christ would not receive reformed +characters, I came to Him as a poor lost sinner, and He saved me. Seeing +that he continued attentive, I was proceeding to make my meaning +plainer, when he turned round, and looking sternly at me, said, "If I +understand you, I am to cry for mercy as 'a common sinner.'" + +"Yes," I replied, being very pleased to find that he had understood me +so well. + +"Then." he said, "I will do no such thing." With this, he turned away +and departed. When he saw that I was following him, he said, "I desire +you will not speak to me any more. I do not agree with you." + +One morning, a short time after, I was praying and meditating in the +church, when it came to my mind forcibly that I must go to this man's +parish. I rose from my knees forthwith, saying to myself that I would +go; but immediately the thought came to me, "This suggestion is not from +God, for He must know that my horse has lost two shoes, and could not go +all that distance." However, I returned home, and went to the stable to +inquire, when, to my surprise, I found that my man had taken the horse +out very early in the morning, and had got him properly shod. "He is all +right for a long journey, master," he said, "if you want to go." + +"Well," I said, "put on the saddle, and be ready in half-an-hour." I +went in to prepare, and started in due time. On the way I was thinking +what I would say, and how I would begin the conversation, for as yet I +did not know the particular message I was to take. + +When I arrived at my friend's gate, I saw the marks of his horse's feet, +as if he had just gone out. However, I rode up to the front door, and +rang the bell. His wife appeared, and said that her husband had gone +out, and would not be back before six o'clock; she added, "You look +disappointed"; and so I was, for I thought the Lord had sent me with +some message to him. The lady kindly asked me to put up my horse, +saying, "Perhaps he may return sooner; you had better rest a little." I +thanked her, and doing so, went in. + +As soon as we were seated, the lady said, "I have been wishing to see +you for a long time; we have started more than once to visit you, when +my husband's courage has failed him, and we have returned. He says that +he loves you still; but, somehow, he is very much afraid of you." + +Then she went on to tell me that when they were removing from their late +parish to where they now were, having sent all their furniture on, they +were driving in their own carriage; and that coming along ever a bleak +and desolate moor, the horse took fright at something, they knew not +what, and ran away. Because it could not get along fast enough from its +imaginary object of fear, it began to kick, and breaking the carriage in +pieces, made its escape, leaving her and her husband on the ground. He +was not much hurt, and soon rose, and came to help her. She was severely +bruised, and her leg was broken besides. He managed to drag her gently +to the side of the road, where there was a little bank, and, colleting +some of the broken pieces of the carriage, he placed them round her for +protection, and hurried off in order to get assistance. He had to go two +miles and was absent nearly three hours. During that time she suffered +great pain, but it came to her mind all at once that her sins were +pardoned; she was exceedingly happy, and could not help thanking and +praising God. In this state her husband found her when he returned, and +on hearing her talk, became very unhappy, because he thought that +besides her leg, her head was broken too; and that she was going out of +her mind. She assured him over and over again that she was wonderfully +well, and really happy; but he could not bear to hear her talk like +that, and said that he should go mad also, if she did not stop. + +During the six weeks she was laid up, he continually brought doctors and +clergymen to talk her out of her delusion as he thought it, but without +avail. Her happiness continued for several months, and then gradually +died away. She asked me, "Can you tell me the meaning of this?" I was +deeply interested with her experience, and told her that I had read of a +similar one only a few days before. My heart now began to cheer up, for +I saw why I had been sent to this place. I at once pointed her to +passages of Scripture, where we are told that we have forgiveness of +sins through the blood of Jesus, and I put Christ crucified before her +as the object of faith. I told her, that as certainly as the blood Jesus +had been shed, there was mercy and forgiveness for her. I said, "I +believe it, and have forgiveness: and you may have it too; not because +you feel happy, but because Jesus died." She did believe, and we +rejoiced together. + +She exclaimed, "Oh that the Lord would change my husband's heart, and +bring you here for a revival!" + +"Very well," I said, "let us ask Him," and we did so. I then rode home +raising God. + +Before leaving, I promised to come again on the following Wednesday. I +kept my word, and had an interview with her husband; but it was not +encouraging. He said he could not agree to ask for mercy as a sinner, +because he had been baptized. Some months afterwards his manservant came +to me on horseback at three o'clock in the morning, to say that his +master was very bad, and would I come as soon as possible and see him. I +asked, "What is the matter?" "Oh, bless the Lord," said the man, "it'll +all about his soul! ....That is right" I replied, thanking God; "I will +go with you at once," and immediately I saddled my horse, and rode back +with him. + +I found my friend was under deep conviction, and in the greatest misery; +he now thought that he was a most "uncommon sinner," and that there was +no mercy for him, there could not be any! After a time he acknowledged +the power of God to forgive sin, and declared that he believed in +Christ, and I was led to say "he that believeth hath everlasting life." +Upon this text he found peace, and we all praised God together. + +The Sunday following, he asked the congregation to thank God with him +for having saved his soul; and in his sermon told them something of his +experience. Subsequently his church became the centre of a work of God, +as Mr. Aitken's church and mine were in our respective neighbourhoods. + +The power of the Lord overshadowed the place, and there was as usual a +simultaneous melting of hearts all over the parish, and a running +together of the people to hear the Word, and what is better to obey it. +Then followed a true Cornish revival with full manifestations, and Mr. +Aitken came to preach. The fire was burning and shining before; but when +this mighty man stirred it, it rose to a tremendous height. The +excitement of the parson and people was intense, and hundreds of souls +were added to the Church, who had been brought from the death of sin +into the life of righteousness which all the previous preaching on +Baptism and the Lord's Supper had failed to produce. + + +CHAPTER 18 + +A Visit to Veryan, 1853. + +Next, I will tell of a clergyman who was altogether different to the +others I have mentioned. He was one to whom I was much attached, +although we were diametrically opposed to one another, especially in my +Puseyite days. He was Evangelical; I was High Church; consequently, we +fell out more or less, at every meeting, though we never really +quarrelled. After my conversion I made sure this friend would sympathize +with me; but I found to my disappointment he was in reality more opposed +now than before, because I had become, as he called it, "a dissenter." +He would scarcely speak to me, and said, he was not so sure of my +conversion as I was, that he would give me seven years to prove it, and +then pronounce. + +I said, "You are an old bachelor, and know nothing about the treatment +of babies; we do not put our babies out on the lawn for seven days +before we decide whether they are born or not!" + +He could not resist joining in the laugh against his inexperience in +this respect, although he was not over-pleased. With all his +head-knowledge of Gospel truth, he had not seen anything of the work of +the Spirit, and moreover, like too many others, could not distinguish +between death and grave-clothes. Because I announced some sacramental +views after my conversion, he fancied that I must be dead still; whereas +these were only the grave-clothes in which I used to be wrapped. We +shall speak more of this hereafter. + +One day, he came to me and said, "I have been thinking for some time +that I should like to come to your church one Sunday, and see your +work." + +I agreed to this with thanks, as the first sign of sympathy I had found +in him, and said, "Shall I go and take your services in exchange?" + +"Oh no, certainly not; I wish you to be present in your own church. I +will preach in the morning; and in the evening I will be there to see +and hear you." We soon fixed upon the day. He came to dinner with us the +previous Saturday, but before he would sit down he must needs go into +the Church, and adjust the height of the pulpit, and see that all other +things were to his taste. He asked me if I would remove the candlesticks +from the communion table, and let him preach in a black gown. These were +all matters of indifference to me now, so I readily acceded to his +wishes. Having completed his arrangements, we spent a very pleasant +evening together, talking over the work in the place, and then went to +the weekly prayer-meeting; but he took no part. On Sunday morning the +service was conducted at his request, in the usual manner, excepting +that he stood away in the eastern corner of the north side of the table, +"scrootching" away like a Papist, as the people described it. They had +been accustomed to see me stand at the western or outside corner of the +north side. He was much amused at this criticism. + +Then he went into the vestry, having asked for an interlude on the organ +before the last verse of the Psalms (for we sang the metrical version in +those days), and while this was being played he came sailing out again, +and swept up the steps into the pulpit. He gave us an excellent +sermon--preached, as the Cornish people say, "to a form," that is with a +manuscript before him; though he did not look at it much. He showed it +to me afterwards; it certainly was a curious thing, done in cyphers and +hieroglyphics of his own; again and again there appeared a figure with +two horns and a tail; this, he told me, stood for Satan; there were also +many other striking signs. He preached with far more animation than was +his wont, and towards the end of his sermon seemed to forget his +manuscript altogether, and leaned over the front of the pulpit, +gesticulating with his hands, and looking at the people. They got very +excited, and followed every sentence with some response, till he became +excited also. When he came down from the pulpit, he said that he had +never preached with such help before; he had quite enjoyed his own +sermon, and that now he thought he understood the secret of what I +called being "converted." + +He came in the afternoon to the catechising of the children, and +expressed himself very pleased with their behaviour, and readiness in +answering questions. In the evening, he sat in a part of the church +where he could see the congregation, and the preacher, and so make his +desired observations. The service was, perhaps, a little more animated +than usual, and the sermon may have been the same. After this was over, +he went with me into the school-room, where he heard the people pray, +and also thank God for the morning sermon. Several souls were brought in +that evening. + +About ten o'clock at night we returned home, when my friend declared he +had never known a day like this in all his ministry, and never heard of +such things as he had seen. "Your congregation," he said, "is like the +waves of the sea, and mine like a glassy mill-pond. Now I must have you +come and preach in my church. I wonder what the effect will be." + +I agreed, and we fixed upon the second Sunday, as he wanted a week to +announce my coming. + +I was quite eager for the time, and when Saturday arrived, I set off, +intending to stay for several days. On Sunday morning the church was +filled from end to end, the people being on the tip-toe of expectation. +Many anxious ones remained after the sermon to be spoken with, about +their souls. The church was scarcely cleared, before the men came to +ring the bells for the afternoon service. This time, the passages, +chancel, pulpit-stairs, and every available corner were crowded, and the +congregation certainly did not look like a "mill-pond," but more like +"the waves of the sea." + +At the close of this service, the people begged for another in the +evening. The vicar said, "Oh, that is impossible, for I dine at six +o'clock." + +"But," I involuntarily added, "do not mind the dinner; I can come, if +you like." + +He gave me such a look! I continued, "I have had dinner enough for +to-day. I can take the service alone, if you are agreeable." + +"But we have no lamps for the church. It cannot be." + +I was silenced now, and gave up the point; when the churchwarden came +forward and said he would be responsible for lighting the church. + +The vicar at last consented, on condition that he was allowed to have +his dinner in peace. As the time approached, however, he put off that +important meal, and joined me in a cup of tea, after which we went +together to the third service. + +This time it was as much as we could do to get it, and when we did +succeed a most striking sight presented itself. The whole church was +lighted from the pews. Some of the wealthier people had lamps, but the +others had candles, one, two, or more in their respective compartments. +From the pulpit it looked more like a market scene than a church +congregation. I had liberty in preaching, and the people were greatly +moved, some of them greatly agitated-indeed, so much so, that the vicar +thought he would not have another service in the church, and accordingly +announced that the Monday evening meeting would be held in a building +which he named, in a village about two miles off. This was a large +barn-like structure, where they cured fish in the season, but at other +times it was unoccupied. + +The next day happened to be very wet, and, added to this, in the evening +it began to blow as well. Notwithstanding this inclemency, when we +arrived at the "fish-cellar," as it was called, we found it crammed with +people, the women and children occupying the ground, and sitting there +on straw, which had been provided for the occasion, the men and boys +were sitting on the cross-beams of the roof. The heat in the place was +stifling beyond all description, for besides being densely crowded below +and above, the wooden shutters were shut, on account of the wind and +rain, the people's wet clothes were steaming, and there was a strong +smell of stale fish. At first we felt as if it would be impossible to +bear it, but after a little time we became used to the disagreeables, +and had other things to think about. + +I gave out a hymn, and after a short prayer commenced the address, +speaking as loud as I could, that all the congregation might hear me. +During the sermon, the responses were most vociferous and hearty, and +the attention very encouraging. After speaking for about thirty minutes, +I observed a tall, fine-looking fisherman, in large high boots, who had +come in late. He was standing in the little vacant space before the +table, on which were placed two candles and a glass of water. I saw, as +the address went on, that though he was very quiet, his breast was +heaving with emotion, as if something was passing in his mind. All at +once, without a moment's notice, he fell on the ground, and bellowed out +a loud prayer for "God's mercy--I want God's mercy!" Besides upsetting +the table--candles, water, and all--which went down with a great crash, +he fell on one or two women, who screamed, in their fright and +consternation, as only women can. + +If this had been a preconcerted signal, it could not have been more +effectual, for there was instantly a simultaneous as well as an +universal outcry. The whole place was filled with a confused din of +voices; some were praying, some singing, some shouting, and others +exhorting, and that at the top of their voices, in order to be heard. In +the midst of this I began to sing a hymn, hoping to restore order, and +many joined me; but it only added more sound to the uproar. + +The good vicar was overwhelmed with fear and dismay, as well he might +be, at this tumultuous scene. It was bad enough to stand and look at the +waves of the sea; but when they rose and broke, as it were, on the shore +where he was standing, and surrounded him, it was altogether too much. +He made for the door, and, waiting there, beckoned me to him. When I +came he suddenly opened it, and drew me out, saying, "There will be no +peace till you are out of this place." The extreme change from the hot +cellar into the cold and pitiless wind and rain was so great, that we +fled precipitately to the cottage which stood opposite. Happily, the +door was on the latch, and we went in. I felt about in the dark for a +chair, but not finding one, sat on the table, listening to the noise and +din of the meeting. + +The vicar vainly thought that the tumult would subside as soon as I was +gone, for he said that I "made as much noise, if not more, than any of +them!" He went back into the storm to get my hat and coat, and also the +inevitable umbrella, without which no one can get on in Cornwall. He was +a long time absent, during which a man with heavy boots came into the +dark cottage where I was sitting, and tumbling down on a seat somewhere, +heaved a heavy sigh. He evidently did not suspect that any one was +there. After sighing and groaning several times, he said to himself, +"What shall I do?--what shall I do? The man is right, sure enough; he is +right, I'm sure on it--that he is." + +I disguised my voice, and asked, "What man?" + +"Oh," he said, "are you there, neighbour? Couldn't yer get in? Why, I +mean the man what's been speaking inside." + +"What did he say?" + +"Why, said he, 'the devil's no fool!' and of course he ain't. He has +hooks in all his baits, and I have swallowed lots o' them. Oh, what +shall I do? What shall I do?" + +Then I heard him shuffling to his knees, groaning and praying. I sat +still on the table, saying, "Amen! amen!" every now and then, to his +prayer, till he became terribly in earnest, and at last got into a which +the Cornish call "wrastling in prayer." In this condition he was quite +past heeding any one's presence. I helped and guided him to the +Crucified and then he found peace, and began to praise. On coming to +himself, he recognized my voice. "You are the very man," he cried, and +putting great heavy arms round my neck, he nearly strangled me! The +vicar (who I did not know was in the room), here interposed, and got my +release. + +"Here you are," he said, "at it again, and they are getting worse and +worse in the barn--what ever is to be done? We cannot go home through +this rain, and the carriage will not be here for at least an hour. What +am I to do?" + +I said, "Let us go then to the barn for a short time, just to see how +they are getting on." + +After some hesitation, he went in with me, and found the people praying +and rejoicing; but, as I expected, far too much absorbed to observe our +presence. + +After a time, some of the lads noticed me and cried out lustily, "The +parson is here! The parson is here!" and in a moment we were surrounded +by a number of happy people, who were so demonstrative that they made +the poor vicar tremble (as he told me afterwards) with a strange fear. + +They said, "You will come again to-morrow?" + +"Certainly," I replied. + +"Oh, no," rejoined the vicar; "on no account. One night of this work is +quite enough--more than enough." + +I was very loth to give up; but a man said, "Never mind, we will carry +it on. This revival will not stop for a week or fortnight, for certain." + +This was terrifying news for the vicar, who turned, and looking at me +with astonishment, said, reproachfully, "How did you do it?" + +I replied, "This is not my work. I did not begin it, neither can I stop +it; nor would I, even if I could. I dare not. I have known persons +brought under heavy judgment for hindering a revival. Take my advice, +and do not hinder this. Let these men go on; they know what they are +about." + +Soon the carriage came, and we returned to the vicarage; but the dear +man was much put out, and evidently very sorry that he had asked me to +come and disturb his mill-pond. Indeed, he said as much; so I concluded +my visit the next morning. + +Going through the village, I heard that the meeting on the previous +evening was continued until two o'clock in the morning, and that it was +announced there would be one in the chapel that evening. As the Church +refused the blessing, there were others who were happy to receive it. + +I returned home sooner than I was expected, and told my people, at the +evening meeting, the things I had seen and heard; and they "glorified +God." + + +CHAPTER 19 + +A Mission in the "Shires." 1853. + +At the time of which I am writing, twenty-six or twenty-seven years ago, +special services for preaching were not called by the name of +"Missions." I think that word has been derived from some Roman Catholic +perverts, who made aggressive efforts in London, which they called +"Catholic Missions." From them it has been adopted by some who love to +copy Rome and Romish phrases. Strange infatuation, by which these +Romanizers in vain court a Church which despises them, and gives them +neither place nor quarter! However, the word is now well understood, and +its meaning is plainer than any definitions of mine could make it. + +My first journey to "foreign parts" (as the Cornish call it) was to a +town in Devonshire, where I stopped three or four days. The day I +arrived I preached in the church, because it was the regular evening +service; special services were not then known, unless it was for some +Missionary Society, or other such advocacy. The idea of preaching to +awaken souls, was considered very strange and fanatical. The church I +preached in had high pews, which prevented my seeing the occupants. I +was told that it was full, and certainly there were faces visible here +and there; but the whole congregation was so still, that the dropping of +the proverbial "pin" might have been heard. It was all very chilling and +dead, no "Amens!" or "Glory!" as in Cornwall; indeed, the stillness had +such an effect upon me, that I found it difficult to get on. After +making two or three hard appeals, and meeting with nothing but silence +for a response, I concluded, and came away much disappointed and +disheartened. However, the next morning, the vicar showed me some beads, +leathers, and flowers which had been left in the pews of the church. So +I found that the shots had hit somewhere, or something. + +Walking through the town in the course of the day, a tall mason, with a +large whitewash brush in his hand, came running after me (not to +whitewash me) but to ask the question, which he did most eagerly, "Are +you the man that preached last night?" + +I said, "Yes, I am." + +"Oh," he replied, "will you preach tonight?" + +I answered him somewhat doubtfully, "I suppose not," for the vicar did +not know what excuse there could be for my preaching a second time. + +He continued, "Will you come to my house and preach this evening? I have +a good large room at your service, and can promise you a congregation." + +I assented; so we fixed the time, and made all other necessary +arrangements. On coming down in the evening, I found my mason friend had +invited his neighbours, and finding more had promised to come than his +room would hold, he had opened the folding doors between two rooms +upstairs, taken down three large bedsteads, and having borrowed forms +and chairs, he was able to accommodate seventy people. As many as this +came, and more, for men and women stood on the stairs and landing +besides. + +We sang heartily, and after prayer, I felt a little more at home than I +had done on the previous evening'; but it was not up to Cornwall yet! In +my address I had liberty and power to hold the people, and we had some +conversions that evening, and the following one also. My mason friend +was greatly cheered and revived, and from this time began reaching +himself, carrying on meetings in various cottages and farm places. + +From there I went on into Dorsetshire, and arrived at the vicarage to +which I was going, rather late on Saturday night, very tired; so much +so, that I was glad to go to bed as soon as possible. On Sunday morning +I went to church and preached to a large congregation, the words which +God gave me. On coming out, the vicar's wife said, "If I had sat up all +night telling you about the people, you could not have preached more +appropriately; indeed, I am sure that some of them will think that I +told you what to say." + +It was so, for this same lady was charged with telling me to put before +some of the congregation things which her husband dared not! In the +evening the church was crammed to excess, and the people were most +attentive and eager. Some of them could scarcely restrain their +feelings, so powerfully did the Word come home to them. At the +conclusion of the service, I announced that I had come there to preach +every night for the week, and would visit them during the day. +Accordingly in the morning I called at several cottages, in one of which +King George the Third used to attend a prayer-meeting with the country +people. + +In the afternoon I went to the convict prison at Portland. It was sad to +look upon the prisoners clanking about in their chains, many of whom +were employed in making a road to the sea. I could not help saying to +the chaplain, who was walking with me, "What a picture is that! It is +exactly how Satan employs unbelievers to make their own road to hell. As +such, they are condemned already, because they do not believe in Christ; +and for the same reason, their sins not being pardoned, they are bound +in chains." + +"Well," said the chaplain drily, "that seems all clear and scriptural. +Would you like to speak to them?" + +"Yes," I said, "I should." + +He then made a sign to the warder, who commanded that the convicts +should give attention, and the order was at once obeyed. + +Standing on the bank, I spoke to them as they were assembled before me; +but instead of telling them of the devil and chains, as the chaplain +expected, I spoke of God's love to sinners, and said that "chastisement +and sorrows were not sent in anger, but in kindness. God is angry when +the wicked are allowed to go on unpunished; but when punished in this +world, it is not for expiation of sin (for only the blood of Jesus can +do that), but for the purpose of awakening and humbling the +transgressor, that he may with contrite heart return to the Lord, who +alone is able to deliver us from sin and from Satan's power. 'It is +good,' said the Psalmist, 'that I have been afflicted: before I was +afflicted I went astray, but now have I kept Thy word.'" + +Many of the men were so affected, that they sobbed aloud, and I could +scarcely refrain from doing the same thing myself. After this I prayed +that the word spoken might be blessed to those who had heard it, and +then took my leave. It was not easy to dismiss this sad scene from my +mind, nor have I ever lost the impression it made upon me. + +We had a very good time that evening in the church, and there was much +power and blessing. At the close of the service, I gave out that I would +preach again the following evening, and having no opportunity for an +after-meeting, the word preached was left with prayer for a blessing on +it. + +The next morning there came an unexpected, as well as a most abrupt, +opposition to the work; and no wonder, for it was not likely that Satan +would permit it to go on smoothly. A vicar from the neighbourhood, who +had formerly been a military man, and had still the commanding manner of +such, presented himself, and tried to terrify my good and kind friend, +the vicar. He told him that he had heard a great deal about me; that I +was just like Starkie,* and preached the same doctrines; and that he was +deputed by other clergymen to come and ask that my preaching be stopped. +Then he went on to say that I was nothing less than a Jesuit in +disguise; and turning; to me, he said, "Sir, you know you are!" I +replied, begging his pardon, "I can assure you I am not. You must be +altogether misinformed." But he said, again turning round, and sternly +looking at me, "You know I am not mistaken or misinformed; your +countenance betrays you!" I smiled at this, not knowing how my +countenance looked. He was quite satisfied with himself, and rather more +so because he thought he had succeeded in extracting a promise from the +vicar that the services in question should be stopped. + +__________________________ + +* A clergyman who had associated himself with H. J. Prince and some +others, and founded the "Agapemone" at Spaxton, near Bridgewater. +_________________________ + +This officer-clergyman then went away, saying that he was quite +convinced in his mind that I was a Jesuit, and nothing should ever +dissuade him; this interview had confirmed his thoughts on the subject. +My dear good friend was so afraid of that loud, overbearing man, that he +consented to give up the services after that night. + +Presently another clergyman, evidently in concert with the former, +called on the same errand. His more gentle manner and plausible words +had greater effect, so that the vicar more than half decided to have no +service, even on that evening. + +Before he had fully made up his mind, it so happened that there came on +a tremendous thunderstorm, accompanied with hail and vivid flashes of +lightning. This was considered by him quite providential, and an +indication that God wished the services stopped. When the sexton came +over to the vicarage, a little before the service time, the vicar said, +"Don't ring the bell for church tonight; it is of no use: no one can +possibly come out this weather!" + +"Why, sir," said the sexton, "the church have been crammed full this +half-hour. It's no use ringing the bell, sure, for we ain't got no room +for no more people." + +"Now, that is remarkable," said the vicar. "I do think, after all, the +Lord would have us go on. What do you think?" he said, turning to me. + +I replied, "Without doubt I think so. I cannot suppose that the Lord +would send such men, in such a tone, to stop His work." + +"Well, then," said the vicar, "we will go on till the end of the week." + +But this could not be; for in the morning, as soon as he had decided to +stop the services, I sat down and wrote to a cousin of mine, in the +neighbourhood (and the letter had gone), to get me the parish church for +the next evening, and said, "I would come to her on a visit for a few +days, as my preaching in this place was brought to an end." + +I spoke that evening, and announced that I would do so again on +Thursday. On the following day I went on this promised visit to another +part of the county, and was not long in the company of my cousin, before +I found out that she had been brought up in Evangelical doctrines, and +hated Puseyism; but that she had never been converted. In the evening, +we went to the Minster Church, the use of which she had obtained for me. +There, I preached from the words, "Behold, I stand at the door and +knock." (I did not know then, as I old now, that this is a text for +believers.) Accommodating it for my purpose, I made out that many people +assented to evangelical doctrines, without yielding to them: that is, +they heard the knocking, but did not open the door and receive the +Saviour; therefore, they remained unsaved; and if they died like that, +would be lost for ever! + +When I first ascended the pulpit, which stood outside of a high chancel +screen, I looked towards the nave, and saw it filled with high pews, +which, as I thought, were for the most part empty; whereas, I could see +that the choir and chancel, which was brightly lighted, was full of +choir-men and boys, besides many people; so instead of turning my back +upon the many in the lighted chancel, and addressing myself to the +unseen few in the large dark nave, I turned round in the pulpit, and, +looking through the screen, I preached to those I could see. The people +in the nave, however, were most attentive to hear; and after the sermon +came up and asked me why I had turned my back on them, for they could +not hear all I said. Evidently they had heard something which had +interested them. Seeing so many were anxious, we invited those who +wished for further help, or instruction, to come home with us. Many did +so, and we held a kind of after-meeting, in which my cousin and several +others found peace. + +I could not promise to stay there any longer, having settled to return +on Thursday to resume services in the church previously referred to. +Accordingly I went back to a neighbouring town, where my good vicar had +appointed to meet me. He did so, and, without delay, commenced telling +me, that he had had a long talk with some of his brother clergymen, and +had given his word that the services were positively to be discontinued +after that night; he also told me he had taken my place by the coach, +and that I was to start for Exeter the next morning, on my way home. +Then he went on to say that he found it would be dangerous to keep me +any longer, for he should have the whole neighbourhood up about it. In +his timidity, he would rather let the work stop, than be embroiled with +the neighbourhood! + +The evening service was crowded, and the people were very disappointed +that I was not allowed to remain. However, I told them it could not be, +and that I must go--so took leave of them. + +The next morning we rose early, and breakfasted at six o'clock, then +drove out to the turnpike road, to meet the coach at an appointed +corner, at seven. It arrived in due time, piled up high into the air +with passengers and luggage; but having an inside place secured for me, +we were not dismayed at the outside appearance. The coachman got off the +box, and, instead of opening the coach door as we expected, put some +money into my hand, and, with a grinning countenance, said, "There's +your money, sir. Sorry to say can't take you today; hain't got a crevice +of room anywhere. Good morning, sir." In a moment more he was up on his +box, with reins in hand. "Take you tomorrow, sir, same time. Good +morning." And off he went'. Imagine our surprise at being left on the +roadside in this unceremonious way. My good little vicar was most +indignant at being thus treated. "I'll make him pay for that," he said. +"I'll punish him--it's against the law." And then, as if a new thought +had suddenly come to him, he said, "Ah, I know what we will do! Jump +into the carriage again"; and putting my luggage in, he got up, and +drove me to the next town. He said, "We will take a post-chaise, and +make the coach people pay for it; that's it--that's what we will do." + +I suggested that I did not think we could do that, having received the +money back. + +"Ah, that's nothing," he said; "that's nothing. We will take a +post-chaise." + +This scheme was prevented; for on arriving at the hotel, there was not a +carriage of any kind to be had. "Are you sure of that?" said the vicar +(as if all the world was in league with the coach proprietor). "Are you +quite sure?" + +"You had better come and see for yourself," said the ostler, in a surly +tone. + +We went into the yard, and found the coach houses quite empty. + +"That's very remarkable," said the vicar; "but these people are +connected with that coach--it changes horses here. We will go to the +next inn." + +There they did not let out carriages at all! + +"Well now," said the vicar, "this is very remarkable," and was silent. + +"Perhaps the Lord does not mean me to go today," I said meekly. + +"It seems so, certainly. I must say it is very remarkable." + +I suggested that I would stay at the inn till the next morning, as there +was no means of getting on. "Shall I do so?" + +"Oh, no; certainly not--certainly not," said the kind man. "Not at +all--not at all. We will go back again." + +"But," I said, "what will they think when they see me?" + +Poor dear man, like many others he was dreadfully frightened at the +thought of "what will they think?" As if "they" did not go on thinking +whether one gives them occasion or not. + +In due course, we arrived again in sight of the vicarage gate, and there +we saw the vicar's wife, with her hands up in astonishment. She +exclaimed, "What! are you come back?" + +"Yes, we are indeed!" said the vicar, and he was going to tell her how +it was, but she was too impatient to listen, having, as she thought, +something more important to communicate. She said, "After you went away +this morning, the weather being so fine, I thought that I would go into +the village, and see some of the people who were at church last evening. +In passing by widow S.'s cottage, on my way to another, I saw her door +and window open, and heard her praying very earnestly, 'Lord, bring him +back! bring him back!' I thought she was praying about her husband, who +had recently died; and that I would go in and try to comfort her. So I +knelt down by her side, and repeated the words, 'I shall go to him, but +he shall not return to me,' when she turned round' and said, 'Oh, I +don't mean that!' and then, as if she grudged every breath which was +spent in other words, she went on repeating, 'Lord, bring him back! +Lord, bring him back!' + +"'Who do you mean?' I said, 'what can you mean?' + +"She went on, 'O Lord, I saw him go away. I saw them take him away. +Lord, bring him back! bring him back!' + +"I again said, 'Who do you mean?' + +"She took no heed, but went on, 'O Lord, when I opened the window I saw +him coming out of the vicarage gate. Lord, bring him back! do bring him +back!' + +"At last I understood that she was praying for you to be brought back. +Then I said to her, 'Dear woman, do get from your knees, and let me talk +to you.' No, she would not get up. + +"No, I can't get up. Lord, bring him back! bring him back!' + +"It cannot be,' I said; 'he is on the coach by this time--a long way +off.' The woman became frantic at the thought. 'Oh, what shall I do? +what shall I do? Lord, bring him back!' + +"Seeing that I could do nothing in the matter, I went to call on some +other people, and coming back found the widow still on her knees, urging +the same petition without stopping." "Well, that is remarkable," +interposed the vicar. Without a moment's pause, I set off to show myself +to the widow. + +"Now! there you are," she said; "the Lord has sent you back. I laid +awake best part of the night, thinking of some questions I wished to ask +you; and when I saw you go away like that, so early in the morning, it +gave me quite a turn. I thought I should be lost for ever!" + +Her questions concerned her soul's condition. On my putting Christ and +His salvation before her for her acceptance, she found peace; and +afterwards became a good helper in the parish. There were some other +anxious ones she urged me to visit, which I did. On referring to my +letters, written at the time, I find a record of five persons who +professed to find peace that morning. + +In the evening, we had a kind of service in the school-room, with as +many as we could get together, and spent a very happy time in prayer and +praise. + +The next morning I started for home, which I reached late on Saturday +night, or rather early on Sunday morning, and appeared quite +unexpectedly among my people again. I gave them an account of the state +of things in the "shires." This, my first experience of "foreign +missions," was not encouraging. + +Ever since my conversion, I had been over head and ears in conversion +work, and, as a loyal young convert, thought at that time there was +nothing else in the world to live, or work for! How surprised I was when +I found that this was not by any means the first thing in the minds of +my Evangelical brethren; and more so still when I saw that even +preaching for the salvation of souls was put aside altogether, if 'it +did not fit in with the stated service-day of the week, or public +opinion. If people came to church, or better still, to the communion +table, they were considered quite satisfactory enough, even though they +were dead in trespasses and sins. I did not, of course, expect anything +from my own neighbours, for I knew them of old; but from accredited +"standard bearers," I did expect something and got nothing. + +While I was still feeling sore and disappointed, intending not to go out +on such errands any more, I found myself promised to another mission in +a most unexpected manner; but this did not happen to be out of Cornwall, +and therefore prospered better, as we shall see. + + +CHAPTER 20 + +A Stranger from London, 1853. + +A lady in London, reading in the Cornish newspapers about our revivals, +became much interested, and having a strong desire to witness such a +movement personally, proposed a visit to her uncle in Truro, who had +sent her those papers. Being accepted, she came down a long way in those +days, when railway communication was not so complete as it is now. + +This same lady was present at my church on Sunday morning; and +expressing a wish to attend the afternoon service, we gladly welcomed +her to the parsonage. In course of conversation, she spoke of churches +in London where the Gospel was preached in its fullness; and I naturally +asked her whether they had "after-meetings." She said, she did not know +what I meant. "Prayer meetings, for conversion work, I mean." + +"What is that?" she inquired. "Is not conversion God's work?" + +"Yes," I answered, "indeed it is; but so is the harvest yonder in the +corn-fields: it is all God's work, but men have to plough the ground and +sow the seed." + +"Oh, is that what you call revival work? I have read of it; and, to tell +the truth, I have come all the way from London to see it." + +She evidently had an idea that revivals were something like +thunder-storms, which come of themselves, no one knows how or why; or +something that is vented, like an occasional eruption of Mount Vesuvius. + +I said, "Revivals--that is, the refreshening of believers and the +awakening of sinners--ought to take place wherever the Gospel is +preached in faith and power." + +She could not understand it, and said, "It is not so in churches, is +it?" + +"Yes," I replied, "in churches as well as in cottages, halls and chapels +too." + +"I am sure Mr. ---- in London preaches a full Gospel, but I have never +heard of a revival there; indeed, I feel convinced they would not allow +it." + +"Is he converted?" I asked. + +She smiled at the question, and said, "I suppose he is." + +"I mean, does he preach about the forgiveness of sins? and, more than +this, does he expect people to have forgiveness?" + +She said she could not understand my Cornish way of talking--"They do +not speak like that in London." + +"Your sins are pardoned," I said, by way of explanation, in order to get +her to comprehend my meaning from her own experience. "Your sins are +pardoned." She got very confused. "You know," I continued, "that it is a +happy day when Jesus takes our sins away." This only made matters worse. +She became greatly embarrassed. While we spoke of London and Gospel +preaching she was free enough; but the moment I made a personal +application of the subject, she was altogether bewildered. + +At last, with a kind of forced effort, she said, "I have been a child of +God for eleven years." + +"Thank God!" I said, much relieved; "that is what I mean. You have been +converted and pardoned for eleven years. It is all right, then. I did +not intend to perplex you, and am sorry I did not convey ray meaning in +a better manner." + +But I could not smooth down her ruffled feathers so easily, and was glad +when the five minutes' bell began ringing to summon us to church. We got +ready, and went. It happened to be a children's service, and our subject +that afternoon was Joseph's reconciliation with his brethren. Three +questions, among others, were asked and dwelt upon. + +First, "Was Joseph reconciled with his brethren while they were +self-convicted before him, and condemned themselves as verily guilty +concerning their brother?"--"No." + +Second, "Was he reconciled when he feasted with them, and made +merry?"--"No." + +Third, "When, then, was he reconciled?"--"When they surrendered +themselves, and all the eleven were prostrate at his feet, like the +eleven sheaves which bowed to Joseph's sheaf in the harvest field; then +he made himself known to them, and forgave them. It is not when a soul +is under condemnation, nor yet when it is happy, that it is saved; but +when it is actually, once for all, surrendered to Christ for salvation, +then it is He makes himself known to them, even as Joseph did to his +brethren." + +The lady went away. I did not ascertain who she was, nor where she came +from; I was not much taken with her, nor was she with me. Hers was +evidently a kind of religion which I had not met with before, and did +not care to meet with again. + +The next day I went for a few hours' rest and change to the sea-side at +Perran, but there was a burden of prayer on my soul. I could not thank +God for that unknown lady, but I could pray for mercy for her. The +impression on my mind was very clear: I felt that she was not saved. The +day following the burden was heavier still, and I was on my knees +praying for her for several hours in the day. In the evening I was quite +in distress. The next day I was most anxious for her, and could do +nothing but pray, even with tears. This lasted till the following day +(Thursday), when I happened to go into the drawing-room for something, +and there I observed a strange Bible lying on the table. I remembered +that I had seen that same book in the lady's hand on Sunday. I took it +up, and saw a name, and on making inquiry of the servants I found out +that she came in Mr. --'s carriage on Sunday. + +This was enough. I wrote a note immediately, and sent the Bible, saying +that I was greatly burdened for her soul, and should much like to see +her. She sent me a kind letter in reply, appointing the following Monday +for my visit. + +On that day I called, and found her very kind, and seemingly thankful +for the interest I expressed in her welfare. I said that she had nothing +really to thank me for, for I could not help myself; the burden had been +laid upon me. Then I asked her if she would tell me how she became a +child of God. + +She did so readily, and told me that once she was in the world, and as +fond of dancing and pleasure as others with whom she associated; that in +the midst of her gaiety she was called to the death-bed of a cousin, who +was just such a lover of pleasure as herself. Her cousin said, "Oh, +Mary, give up the world for my sake. I am lost! Oh, Mary, give it up!" +Soon she died, poor girl, just awakened enough to see and feel herself +hopelessly lost--a dying worldling. No one was near to point her to the +Saviour, so she departed as she had liked to live, without salvation. +Mary wept at the remembrance of that solemn scene, and said she could +never forget it. "Well," I said, "and what did you do then?" + +She answered firmly, "I knelt down then and there, by the side of the +bed where my poor cousin had just died, and I called God to witness that +I would give up the world. I did so; and have never had any inclination +to go back into its gaieties and pleasures since. I began from that time +to pray, and read my Bible, and go to church; and I love these things +now better than I did the things of the world before." + +At the time of this change, she was led to a church where Evangelical +truth was preached simply and plainly; and thus became distinctly +enlightened as to the way of salvation. She fully assented and consented +to what she heard, and therefore became a very earnest disciple, +enthusiastic about the sovereignty of God and the doctrines of grace, +and all such matters. She understood the meaning of the Levitical types +and offerings; could speak of dispensational truth and prophecy; was +very zealous about missions to the heathen, and was also earnestly +devoted to many charitable works at home. + +There was, however, one little suspicious thing in the midst of all this +manifest goodness. She had not much patience with elementary Gospel +sermons, or much interest in, or sympathy with, efforts made to bring in +perishing souls; she loved rather to be fed with high doctrines, and the +mysteries of grace with its deeper teachings. There are some men who +love to preach exclusively about these things, even before mixed +congregations, addressing them as if they were all real Christians. + +It is surprising how many people there are just like Mary, who seem to +care more for doctrines than for Cod Himself--more for favourite truths +than for souls. A simple, elementary Gospel address, with some clear +illustrations, was just the very thing Mary wanted for her own soul's +good, more than anything; but, unfortunately, this was the thing against +which she was prejudiced, for she abhorred "anecdotal sermons." + +After hearing her story, I said, "It is very interesting; but there is +one great deficiency in it. You have not told me anything' about Christ; +have you nothing to say about the blood of Jesus, and about your sins? +Have you had no real transaction with 'God about them?" + +She said she "did not know what I meant." + +"Did you never come as a sinner, and obtain the forgiveness of your sins?" + +"No," she replied; "that is what I do not understand about your +teaching." + +I showed her, as plainly as I could, that she had not told me about +conversion, but reformation. "You have only turned over a new leaf, and +kept your resolutions prayerfully and well for eleven years; but this is +not turning back the old leaves of your past life, and getting them +washed in the blood of the Lamb. 'He that covers his sins' in this way, +'can never prosper.' If a man owes a debt for which he is very sorry, +and determines that in future he will pay for everything he gets--this +will not pay his past debts." + +She went on to justify herself, and said, "that she knew a great many +good Christian people, and that none of them had ever suspected her as I +did." + +I endeavoured to assure her that I was dreadfully alarmed about her +condition, and was certain that if she died like that, there would be no +more hope for her salvation than for her cousin's. This seemed to rouse +her hostility, and I saw that I had lost influence. However, I could not +blame myself, for I had only said what I felt to be true. I returned +home and prayed for more wisdom. All that night I could not sleep, and +most of it was spent in pleading with God. I felt as if a restless bird +was flying about the room, and something was saying, "She will be lost +forever." I urged my petition again and again. + +The next day I called, and found this lady quite broken down, and ready +to pray and listen to my teaching. I was most thankful, and greatly +relieved after the night's restlessness. I had much happiness in +pointing out the way of salvation as an experimental thing. She knew, +before I did, the doctrine of the A tenement, but she had had no +experience of its real efficacy. Now that her eyes were opened, she was +in right earnest to know the reality of sins forgiven. Soon she found +this, though not yet the joy of deliverance; she knew the peace and +shelter of the sprinkled blood (Exod. 12:13), but not yet the joy and +liberty of being on the rock on the other side of the Red Sea (Exod. 15: +2). I was sure that it would all come in due time, and therefore was +able to take comfort, and also to comfort her. + +I saw a good deal of her at that time, and one day she told me that a +relation of hers, a clergyman, was coming to have it out with me for +saying that she was not converted before. + +"Certainly," I replied, "I shall be happy to meet him, and hope you will +be in the room." + +When the dreaded man arrived, we were introduced to one another. + +"Well," he said, "you are a very different-looking than to what I +imagined. I have heard a deal about you. So you are a Puseyite turned +Evangelical, eh? I have often heard of people going the other way, but I +must say I have never met a man who had come in this direction." He then +asked about the results of my industry. + +I told him what was the effect in my church and parish, and that the +same signs followed the preaching of the Gospel wherever I went. "I +wish," he said, "you would come and preach in my parish. You know a +great friend of mine at Veryam and have preached in his pulpit. Will you +do the same for me?" + +"Oh, yes," I said, "certainly, with pleasure." + +"Now, look at me, for I am a man of business: when will you come? Name +your day." + +I looked at my pocket-book, and fixed upon a certain Monday. + +Then he arranged that we should have a kind of missionary meeting, "In +the course of which," he said, "you can preach as much Gospel as you +like. If it goes well, we will have a lecture the next evening on 'Heart +Conversion,' and another the evening following, on something else." He +was "quite sure noone would come to hear a sermon only. It must be a +missionary meeting, or something of the kind, to bring the people out." + +On the day appointed, the barn where we were assembled was well filled, +and seeing that the people were interested, the vicar gave out, "Mr +Haslam will lecture tomorrow evening on Heart Conversion." + +The next evening, when we arrived, we found the barn quite full, and +numbers standing outside; besides, there were many more whom we passed +on the road. So it was determined that we should go into the church and +have a short service. The edifice was soon lighted, and filled, and +after a few collects and hymns (for they had a hymn-book in that +church), I went up into the pulpit, and preached upon the absolute +necessity of conversion--no salvation without it. As to "heart +conversion," what is conversion at all if the heart is not touched? Then +I treated my subject from another point of view. "Every converted person +here knows what heart conversion is; and if any one does not, it is +clear he is not converted. If he dies in that state, he wilt be lost for +ever!" I concluded the sermon with prayer; and while I was praying in +the pulpit, one after another of the people in the pews began to cry +aloud for mercy. My friend Mary likened it to a battle-field, and me to +a surgeon going from one wounded one to another to help them. At eleven +o'clock we closed the service, promising to hold another the next day. + +On Wednesday morning Mary awoke from her sleep with a voice saying to +her, "Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world." + +"Then all my sins are gone. He has borne them. He 'Himself bore our sins +in His own body on the tree.'" + +She was filled with joy unspeakable, and came to breakfast rejoicing. +The lady of the house was in tears, the servants were troubled, and the +vicar alternately glad and sorry, for he was not sure whether it was +excitement or the work of God, and did not know what to make of it. +However, in the evening he broke down in his reading-desk in the middle +of the sermon, and burst out, "Lord, save me!" In an instant the whole +congregation was up, and the people everywhere either crying for mercy, +or rejoicing. The power of the Lord was present to heal them, and many +souls were saved that night; and besides these, there were others who +were troubled. + +Amongst this number was the young squire of the parish. He was +afterwards decidedly converted to God, and took great interest in the +work. When twitted on the bench by his brother magistrates about the +revival, he stood his ground manfully, and gave good testimony. He +continues to this day a bold champion for the truth as it is in Jesus. + + +CHAPTER 21 + +Golant Mission, 1854. + +It is a good plan to strike while the iron is hot;' and as the people at +Colant were in an interested and receptive state, I put off other things +which had been appointed, and made arrangements to return to the +battle-field as soon as possible. My people were much excited to hear +what I was able to tell them of my three days' visit, and they wished me +"God speed" for my next venture, praying most heartily for great +blessing. + +Accordingly, on the following Monday I went back to Colant, and found +the place (an unusually quiet country village), together with the whole +neighbourhood round, including two or three small towns all astir. As a +rule, in order to insure success in a mission, there needs preparation, +visitation, and prayer; and I have observed that when there has been no +preparation in the way of public announcements of services, the people +have not come out, and the mission has been a failure. Where there has +been a regular system of visitation, without prayer, the congregations +have been abundant, but the services have been dry and hard; but in +places where preparation and visitation have been made with much prayer, +there has ever been a most unmistakable blessing. So much for human +agencies, which are necessary to us, though God is not bound to them. + +There had been no preparation for the mission I am about to tell of, no +visitation, nor any special prayer; and yet it pleased the Lord to give +in this little village such an outpouring of His Spirit and +demonstration of His Power as is rarely known. There was a great running +together of the people, notwithstanding the difficulties of access to +the church. Some had to come several miles from the towns by road, some +by sea, and others across a tidal river where mud abounded; and after +landing, they had to climb a steep hill. None of these things, however, +deterred or discouraged them; they came, and they would come, in spite +of everything which was urged at other times as an excuse for staying +away, even on dark nights. It was the day of the Lord's power, and He +made them willing; so much so, that in some places work was suspended, +and people came even three times a day. + +On the Monday evening, when I arrived, I found that the church would +scarcely hold the people who bad gathered to hear the Word of God. It +was a time of much blessing, and we remained there hard at work till +eleven o'clock, when, having four miles to go in order to get home, I +closed the service, offering to meet any anxious souls there at +half-past ten the next morning. This I did, and was surprised to find a +number of persons waiting, even at this early hour. + +There were too many to speak to individually, so I addressed them +collectively, giving the ordinary instruction to seeking souls. In the +afternoon we had a still larger number, and in the evening a crowded +congregation; in this way the work continued, with three services a day +throughout the week, accompanied with remarkable conversions every day. +Among the number of those who attended was a surgeon, his wife and +brother, and the wife of a respectable yeoman. These, together with +several more from the village on the other side of the river, were +converted to God. Their rector was amazed to see them so changed, and +wondered by what process this was accomplished. He attended an afternoon +service, and was astonished to see so many people present on a week-day. +Afterwards introducing himself, he asked me very politely, "What is the +secret of all this?" He stud, "I have heard you preach, and certainly do +not agree with most part of what you said, nor do I see anything either +in your manner or matter which can account for this effect and work +amongst the people. I must say, I cannot ask you to my pulpit, but I +should much like a talk with you. Will you come over to luncheon with +me?" + +I liked the candour and gentlemanly bearing of the man, and wished to +go, but could not fix a time while I was so much occupied; so I promised +I would write, and offer him a visit when I had more leisure. + +In addition to the three services in church, we had another in the +morning at seven o'clock, in the town where I slept. There we gathered +the anxious ones who had been at the church the night before, and had +come away early on account of the distance. The little town was all in a +commotion, and the vicar in this place was beginning to get furious +about my holding this meeting in his parish; his daughter, in +particular, went about warning the people against attending it. Some +young men hired a four-oared boat to come to the evening service, +intending to disturb the congregation. They arrived in good time, but, +for all that, they were too late to get a seat. One young man, the +ringleader of the party, instead of causing a disturbance, stood still +and listened most attentively. I preached that evening from the words, +"And the door was shut," referring to the ark, and the awful desolation +and doom of those who were shut out. All the time I was preaching, I +could see this same man standing before the pulpit, with his elbow +leaning on the end of a high pew. He maintained this position throughout +the service, and at the end of the sermon was still there, rigid and +stiff, looking at the pulpit as if in a trance. He would not move or +speak; there he stood, till we feared he had gone out of his mind. His +companions were awed and took him away as well as they could, but did +not embark on their return journey till after midnight, and then the +tide was against them. + +Soon after they had started, the wind rose, and there came on a great +storm; the thunder was loud, and the flashes of lightning awful. The +wind became so strong and violent, that, in spite of all their efforts, +the boat was stranded; they managed, however, to get out and pull it out +of the water, and took refuge for a time under overhanging rocks on the +shore. The young man continued as one stunned, and said nothing. There +they remained till between four and five o'clock in the morning, when +the storm abated, and they were able to set out again. At last they +succeeded in reaching home. + +While these unfortunate young men were battling with the elements, we +went home by land and had a night's rest, though it was but a short one. +I rose and went to my meeting at seven o'clock, and on arriving found +the room quite full, there being only one chair unoccupied. As I stood +to 'speak, this seat remained vacant, so I beckoned a young man who was +standing at the door to come and take it. He looked worn and sad, and I +thought I recognized in him the same young man I had noticed the +previous night, and who, I was told, was the ringleader of the party who +came in the boat with the purpose of disturbing the meeting. He sat +down, sighing heavily several times. + +Almost directly a man came forward and whispered to me, "You have a wolf +near you--take care!" + +"All, right," I said, "he is tame enough now; there is no more bite in +him." + +"Yes, yes," said the young man, overhearing us, "no more wolf. O God, +change me to a lamb!" + +Poor fellow! he was in great trouble all day, and fainted away several +times before he found peace, which he did very dearly. He came to the +evening meeting, shouting "Hallelujah!" and stirred us all greatly. +Several others of the same party were also converted. + +The news of this made some of the town's people furious; and, being the +fifth of November, they consoled themselves by making a straw effigy to +represent me. They put on it a sheet in place of a surplice, with a +paper mitre on its head, and, setting it on a donkey, carried it through +the town, accompanied by a crowd of men and boys, who shouted at the top +of their voices, "Here goes the Puseyite revivalist! Here goes the +Puseyite revivalist! Hurrah! Hurrah!" In this complimentary sport the +curate and one of the churchwardens took part. + +That same night this churchwarden (who, I should say, had been one of +the boating party two nights before) had a dream. He dreamt that his +house was full of people, just like the church he had been in; all the +rooms, the staircase, and even his own bedroom, were filled with people +standing. There was a tremendous storm of wind and rain; the thunder +rolled, and the lightning flashed. In the midst of this a voice said to +him, "This is all about you, you sinner!" He awoke up out of his sleep +in a terrible fright, and began to cry to the Lord to have mercy on his +soul. + +I was sent for before five o'clock in the morning to come and see him, +for his friends said that they thought he would go out of his mind. +Instead of this, he came to his right mind, for the Lord heard and +answered his prayer, and brought him from darkness into light, and from +the power of sin and Satan unto God. He went with me to the early +morning meeting; there we had the two chief leaders of the riotous party +in a changed condition, for which we heartily thanked God. + +Their friend, the curate, was very excited and angry about this, and did +not quite know who to blame. He said that he would write to the Bishop +and tell him what was going on; and I believe he did not fail to carry +out his intention. As there were many who, from various causes, were +unable to go four miles to an evening service, I managed to secure the +Town Hall for a course of lectures on the "Pilgrim's Progress." The +curate came to the first, and, after hearing the lecture, stood up to +speak, and gave went to his feelings by saying a great many very angry +things. The people were so indignant, that I could scarcely restrain +them from laying hands on him to turn him out. + +Some of the old forms and seats in the Town Hall (which was not +accustomed to be so crowded) broke down with the weight of people. The +vicar's daughter suggested that most likely they should hear next that +"the forms and seats were converted, for she had been told already that +they were broken down." This little straw will show which way the wind +blew in that quarter, and what was the drift of this lady's mind. + +My friend with whom I was staying was evidently much perplexed, and +found himself let in for far more than he had calculated when he invited +me. He certainly would never have asked me had he foreseen such an upset +as there was everywhere, especially in the town in which he lived, and +the country parish of which he was vicar. + +At last he made up his mind to take me with him to consult a clerical +neighbour, upon whose judgment he greatly relied. On our way a sudden +thought of misgiving came over him; he all at once turned to me and +said. "I say, my friend, I'll be done with you altogether if you say Mr. +---- is not converted!" + +"Then," I replied, "you may be sure I will not say it." + +"But suppose you think so?" + +"Well, I must confess I think so already, and not without good reason +(at least, to my mind), for he has taken no interest whatever in this +remarkable work of God, nor has he shown the least sympathy in the +spiritual welfare of many of his parishioners, who have received +blessing at the meetings. His High Church neighbour, who does not +profess to be converted, could not help coming over to ask about it, +while your friend has never been near, nor even sent to make inquiry. +Besides this, one of his own people told me that he was much put out, +and very angry with you for asking me." + +"Ah," said my friend, "we are not all revivalists like you, remember." + +"Well," I said, "let me hope you are a deal better than I am." + +He seemed very uneasy at taking me on after this conversation; but as he +had written to say we were coming, he thought we must go forward. In +order to ease his mind, I made an agreement with him that during +luncheon I would tell about the conversion of one of Mr. --'s +parishioners, and said, "While I do so, you watch his face. If he is at +all interested, I will conclude that I am wrong, and that he is +converted; but if he is not, I will leave you to judge for yourself. I +must say, I cannot understand a converted man not interested in the +conversion of others, even if it does nothing more than remind him of +his own." + +My friend agreed to this, and seemed somewhat relieved in his mind. + +On our arrival, Mr. -- received us courteously, and asked after the +family--indeed, about everything he could think of but the work. + +My friend, after a little pause, said, "Have you not heard of the +revival?" + +"Revival!" he said, calmly. "What is that?" + +"The special services in my church." + +"What services?" + +This evidently was enough. He went out of the room to try and hurry the +luncheon. My friend looked very thoughtful, and said nothing, but was +clearly beginning to suspect that the judgment I had formed was not far +wrong. + +In course of the luncheon I told my story, but not without being +interrupted over and over again by the host's attentions, and +importunities to "take more vegetables." "Have you any salt? .... Will +you take some bread? .... Will you not take a glass of wine?" It was +quite evident he wished the story at an end. + +My friend said, "That is one of your parishioners he is talking about." + +"I suspected so," he replied. "All I can say is, that if Mr. Haslam had +only known that man as long as I have, he would never speak of him as he +does. This is not the first profession he has made. He has been reformed +and changed several times before this, and has always become worse +afterwards." + +"That is just the very thing Haslam says," said my friend--"that some +reformations are all flesh, and not the work of God; and, as such, can +never stand. I believe the man to be converted by God this time." + +"We will see--we will see," said our host, quietly helping himself to a +glass of wine. "For my own part, I don't believe in these things." + +My friend and I exchanged looks. I was silent, but he continued, "I am +bound to say that I was never converted before, nor yet my wife, my +daughter, or my sister." + +"What!" said the vicar, starting, "you mean your sister Mary? Well, that +is enough! I don't wish to hear another word about your conversions +after that! I can only say that if I were half as good as Mrs. S---, I +should be well satisfied." + +"Well, now," replied my friend, "do come over and see her, and hear what +she has to say about it herself." + +"No, thank you," he replied; "I have no desire to interfere in such +matters." + +There the conversation stopped, leaving a wall of separation between the +two clerical brothers, who had together professed to be Evangelical, and +cordially hated sacramental religion. They had also professed to believe +in salvation by faith only; but for all this they never urged upon their +people to perform any acts of faith--they only expected them to receive +the doctrine. I found that such people opposed me and my work a great +deal more than even High Church men. + +My friend and I returned home, and he told his wife and sister the +result of our visit. They said that they were not surprised, for they +had made up their minds on the subject, and were quite sure that Mr. -- +had no personal experience, though he was so intelligent about the +doctrine of salvation by faith. + +The work, in the meantime, went on and spread. Some of the people came +over from Mr. --'s parish to ask me to come and preach to them in a +large sail-loft, which they had prepared for the purpose. My friend +would not consent to my going, and I was obliged to give them a refusal. +The next day they sent again, not to ask me to preach, but if I would +just come over to visit a sick man who was anxious about his soul. My +friend hesitated at this also. I said, "Why do you object to my going to +see the poor fellow? You took me to the vicarage to talk to the vicar +himself; surely you can let me go and do the same thing to one of his +parishioners." + +"No," he said, "I cannot; that is quite a different thing." + +Seeing that he was unwilling, and that it would displease him, I gave it +up, and went to the messengers and said, "I cannot go." + +They were not satisfied, and asked "if the ladies would please to go;" +meaning my late dear wife and Mrs. S. (Mary), whom they had seen working +in the after-meetings. + +My friend did not see any objection to the ladies going, and the men +seemed better pleased than if I had gone. They visited the sick man the +next day, and after that were asked "just to come and speak to a few +people up here" that was, in the adjoining sail-loft. On entering the +place, to their astonishment, they saw about three hundred people +sitting quietly waiting. + +"What is this?" asked my wife. + +The man said, "I only asked a few, but all those people are come. Do +give them just a word." She had never yet ventured on addressing a large +company like that, and Mary was shocked at the idea; but still, they +were afraid to refuse; so they mounted the carpenter's bench, which was +placed there with two chairs on it; and after a hymn and prayer, Mrs. H. +gave an address, which Mary told me afterwards "was far better than +anything I ever preached." They had an after-meeting, and some +conversions, and promised to come over again. Thus the work spread to +another part, and I had to go there also. + +Poor Mr. -- was very excited about this, and said that he "thought it +most ungentlemanly." I dare say it was, and that I was somewhat uncouth; +but I never stop to consider prejudices and fancies when the Lord's work +is in the way. + +It was a widespread and remarkable awakening, and one not without much +opposition and jealousy. I happened to say from the pulpit, that at one +time before I knew the truth I used to be quite a popular man: people +liked me, and clergymen let me preach in their pulpits; but now that I +had something to tell for the good of souls, they seemed to agree to +keep me out. Very few were so bold as the vicar of this parish, who had +not only invited me, but stood by me also. + +A neighbouring clergyman, who was an important man--a prebendary, and +what not--wrote to the vicar to ask if it was true that I had said in +the pulpit that my clerical brethren scouted me, and would not let me +preach for them. + +The vicar very wisely handed the indignant prebendary's letter over to +me to answer, which I did. In my reply, I took the opportunity to put in +some Gospel teaching, which was supposed to be very irrelevant matter, +and counted evasive. I did not deny that I had said something to the +effect of which he complained, but I pleaded in extenuation that I was +justified in doing so. He was more enraged by my letter than by the +report he had heard, and threatened to publish the correspondence. This +he did, with a letter to his parishioners, in which he warned them +against revivals in general, and me in particular. He told them that I +was "infatuated;" that I had "usurped the judgment seat of Christ;" that +I was "the accuser of the brethren;" that I "acted the devil's part now, +and was to be his companion hereafter." I thought of giving more choice +extracts from this publication, but on second thoughts I consider it +better to pass it over. + + +CHAPTER 22 + +The High Church Rector, 1854 + +Let bygones be bygones. I am thankful to say times are changed, but the +letter referred to in the last chapter, though expressing the sentiments +of one man, yet showed the feeling of many others. I do not complain of +it, for I must say I rather like the outspoken opposition of the natural +heart; it is far better, and much less trying, than smiling indifference +or hollow assent. + +The work which began in this part went on and spread. The refusal of the +clergy to take it up sent it to the chapels, where it was continued for +miles round. For this reason I was charged then, and have been since, +with encouraging Dissent, but the accusation sits very lightly on me, +for I know what I would rather have. Nothing would please me so well as +to have the clergy converted, and taking up the work; but if they will +not, then I would rather that the Dissenters had the benefit, than that +it should die out and be lost. Dissent makes division, but it is +necessary for vitality, under present circumstances, and counteracts the +great evil of spiritual death. The light of God ought to be in the +Church of England, for it is the Lord's candlestick in this land; but +when the truth is not represented, and the Church is dark, it is a mercy +that God has been pleased to raise up witnesses for Himself in other +bodies. + +The Calvinist, with a needless bitterness, holds up God's sovereignty, +as if man's will were not free; the Arminian is equally energetic for +man's responsibility, as if God were not sovereign; and the Quaker is a +witness for the work of the Spirit. These, and several others, each +maintain their particular doctrine. They are raised up to show +respectively their own portion of the light, because the Church, which +has in her formularies all these great truths, is remiss in her duty. +The full blaze of light which ought to be emitted from her to all sides, +is shed upon her in detail from others; and her members are too often +lighted from without, and not from within. + +In many parishes there was no light, and no life or testimony in the +Church; and had it not been for the chapels, men and women might have +perished in ignorance and error. + +Imperfect and erroneous as is some of the Gospel which is preached in +chapels and rooms, there was more vitality in it, and also more saving +power, than in the refined and critical teaching which emanated from +many of the accredited and accepted preachers of the land. Where the +Church was rising up into energetic action, in too many cases it had a +sectarian, and not a catholic object--that is to say, it was aiming to +make Churchmen and communicants, or members of guilds, instead of +proclaiming the Gospel for the salvation of souls. + +The sovereignty of God, the responsibility of man, and the work of the +Holy Ghost, were frequently altogether overlooked, although this is the +true catholic teaching. In this I comprehend not only the bringing of +souls from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive the +forgiveness of sins, but also that believers might go on to have "an +inheritance among them that are sanctified by faith in Christ Jesus." +Churchism, with its sacramentalism, is as sectarian as any form of +Dissent, Romanism included; for it falls short of God's object, as +declared in the Word. + +When the work at Golant church abated, I had more time for looking +about; so I proffered a visit to the High Church rector, who had asked +me to come over and tell him the secret of my success. He readily fixed +upon a day, so I went over to luncheon; after which we began to talk. +The curate, who was present, and who had heard some ranters shouting and +screaming in the "shires," kept on every now and then putting in a word +of caution to restrain the rector from admitting too much; for little by +little he was yielding to me. I spoke of letting down the nets for a +draught, and catching men, not to smother and kill them in some Church +system, or by some erroneous teaching, but to keep them alive. "This," I +said, "is the meaning of the word in the original;" and we looked it out +in the Greek. It was very interesting. We then talked over the +difference between the Church system and that of the Bible. The one, I +said, makes apostolic succession and the sacraments the channel of +salvation; the other the Word of God, as applied by the Holy Ghost. + +We had a great battle on this point, two against one; but having the +Word of God on my side, I stood by my experience. I had myself been on +the other side, and was then ten times more zealous and earnest than +these two were. I said, "I used to preach salvation by Church and +sacraments once, but I was not saved that way. I used also to teach that +the new birth was by Baptism; but I was not born again when I was +baptized. Were you? Are you quite sure that, with all your faith in +Baptismal Regeneration, you are born again of the Spirit? Are you +satisfied that you are now saved because you are in the Church?" + +They were dumb. So I went on to say, "I have no party or sectarian +object in my work; my only desire is to bring souls to Christ Himself +for salvation. I used, as a priest, to think I was mediator between +Christ and the sinner, and that I had received by delegation some power +for this purpose; but now that I have been over the ground +experimentally, I would as soon blaspheme God in your presence, as dare +to absolve a sinner, or come between Christ and him. My orders are to +bring them from the power of Satan to God, and to Christ crucified, for +forgiveness of sins." + +At this point the rector brought out a printed sermon by Dr. Pusey, on +Justification by Faith, which he had been carefully reading. I asked him +to read it to me. The first few pages contained statements of the +doctrine in New Testament words, with a fair exposition of them; but +when the author same to his own thoughts about the subject, he said that +Baptism was the cause of justification. Here I challenged the statement, +and said, "Have you any references there--any 'stars' or 'daggers' to +that?" "Yes," he answered, "references to the Fathers." I replied, that +"the Fathers were not inspired, There is no such thing as 'Justification +by Baptism' in the Scriptures; it is by faith only, as you will see in +the fifth chapter of the Epistle to the Romans." + +"Yes," he said, "that is just what Dr. Pusey means--Faith, as shown in +Baptism." + +"Then," I said, "according to that, in your Baptism you were justified +by Faith; and as a consequence you have peace with God, and have access +into grace, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. You will see +that St. Paul connects this experience with what he calls Justification +by Faith. Evidently he did not expect so much from Baptism as you do, or +for a certainty he would have baptized every one he could reach; but, +instead of this, he thanked God that he had only baptized a few persons +whom he named (1 Cor. 1: 14-17). He had gone about for three years, +teaching the Ephesian Christians, even with tears, and he called them to +witness, not that he had administered the sacraments, and done priestly +work among them, but that he had ceased not to teach, and to preach, +'repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ'" (Acts +20:21). + +My two High Church friends were not convinced, though they could not +answer me. It was a question in their minds who was right, Dr. Pusey, or +this "Fanatical Revivalist." + +"Come," I said, "there is your man-servant outside in the garden; he was +converted two weeks ago; and though he cannot read, I feel sure he knows +more about this than the author of that learned sermon. Let us call him +in and read a few pages." + +We did, and told him to sit down while we read a little while. + +The rector began, and, as he went on, Sam's face lit up with joy, until +the rector came to the sacramental passages; than any one could see +Sam's interest was gone. He became very restless, and at last +interrupting, said, respectfully, "If you please, sir, is there much +more of that?" + +"Why, Sam," said his master, "don't you like it?" + +"No, sir," he said; "that man ain't converted at all!" + +"Well, that is strange," said the rector; "I saw his interest went off +just at the very point where you took exception to the sermon. You and +Sam under stand something that I do not know." Thus our sermon-reading +concluded, and, besides this, my witness had given his testimony. + +I had stayed already two hours longer than I intended, and was tired of +talking. The rector asked me to remain, and dine with him, and promised +that he would send me to church in the evening in time for the service. +I agreed to this; so he kindly took me upstairs to wash and rest. Coming +into the room with me, he shut the door, and said in confidence, + +"I know you are right; my mother taught me all this when I was young!" + +"Then," I said, "we had better kneel down and pray about it." + +We did so. In his prayer he entreated very earnestly that the scales +might fall from his eyes, and that these truths which he loved when he +was young might be brought to him again. + +He was only praying for truth, and not for pardon and salvation; so I +pointed this out to him. + +"Yes--yes," he said; "Lord, save me! Lord, save me! Pardon me!" + +I believe he found peace before he came down; but it is more difficult +to pronounce in the case of educated, than in that of uneducated people. +In the latter, the transition from darkness to light and life is often +very manifest; whereas in the case of the educated, the effect is not so +clear. + +However, he came down to dinner, and it was not long before he roused +the anger and contempt of his wife and curate, by saying, "I am +converted." They tried hard to laugh him out of it, and asked him which +of the chapels he would join? They suggested he had better be a +Bryanite; Mr. Haslam is king of the Bryanires; and so on! + +I was happy to hear all this, and could not help telling them so: first, +because the rector was counted worthy of such taunts; and, secondly, +because their natural enmity was raised. I said that I hoped they would +both be converted also, and that very soon. + +When I was leaving for my service, the rector, in bidding me good-bye, +said, that he "was sorry he could not go with me; but would I come and +preach in his pulpit on Sunday?" I promised that I would. + +On the way, Sam, who was driving me to church, became much excited, and +seemed beside himself for joy. Putting up his arms all of a sudden, with +reins and whip in either hand, in the act of praising God, he frightened +the horse, so that it ran away at full speed. + +"Oh, never mind---never mind!" he said, "don't be frightened! No doubt +the old devil 'ud like to upset both on us; but I am sure the dear Lord +will take care of us, don't fear." + +Certainly there was need, for the horse went headlong down a long narrow +hill, and if anything else had been on the road, we must have come into +disastrous collision. We were, however, carried safely down, and reached +the church in good time. + +Sam's joy, I need scarcely say, was all about the master's conversion, +and the fact that I was to preach in their church on Sunday--two +circumstances he did not fail to announce to every one he met. + +He put up his horse, and stayed for the service. In the after-meeting, +when he prayed, he sent up his prayer with a thanksgiving for these two +things, which set the congregation praising God also. + +Thus the revival, which began on one side of the river, passed over to +the other, and brought out people from another town, and also villages +beyond. There was a great awakening in that part of the country. The +curate found peace on the Sunday, and many more; but not the rector's +wife. She continued her opposition most vigorously. + +The wisdom of the serpent is seen in capturing the wife first; but still +I am sure in this case that the serpent's wisdom was outwisdomed, for +her persecution made her husband pray and work all the more earnestly. + +People in these days did not regard "missions" so complacently as they +do now. The very idea of preaching night after night, not for some +Missionary Society, or for collections, but simply for the conversion of +souls and the salvation of sinners, seemed to cast a slur upon ordinary +preachers, as if they did not aim at such a thing; and upon people +generally, as if we meant to imply that they needed it. Most certainly +they did. + +I believe ordinary preachers in the churches of that neighbourhood did +not expect conversions; and most of the people were unconverted. I could +not help telling them so, which only roused their wrath so much the +more. + +From this place I returned home; for my prolonged absence, I found, was +likely to bring me into trouble. Other clergymen might go away for +months, travelling or salmon fishing; but if I was absent for a few +weeks, I was supposed to be neglecting my parish. On my return, I had +much to tell, and did not expect to be invited out again in a hurry; for +very few clergymen would willingly desire to be drawn into such a +whirlwind of storm and trouble, as my visits usually involved. + + +CHAPTER 23 + +A Mission in Staffordshire, 1854. + +THE work at Baldhu, which had been going on almost incessantly for three +years, was now beginning to flag; that is to say, there was not that +ardent and eager attendance at the services and meetings, to which we +had been accustomed in the revival time. We had had occasional lulls +like this before, but they did not last more than a few weeks; and then +the "swallows" returned, and the bright hot summer of work came again +with its loud songs and pleasant fruits. This dullness was continuing +longer than usual; the crowded congregations were falling off; strangers +did not come from a distance; the people at home were not so lively. +However, the classes were continued, as also the services at the church, +and the number of communicants did not decrease. Still any one could see +that the revival was over. It was rather discouraging to me, and a cause +of triumph to some outsiders; but we were occasionally cheered by work +amongst visitors, and with sick-bed cases. + +The majority of the people were complacently waiting for another tide of +revival; this was their custom, but it sat very uneasily upon me. I did +not like it, nor agree to it; but at that time I knew not what else to +do, but wait as others did. I said that we looked like vessels which had +come so far up the river with the tide; and now that it had turned we +were stranded and fast in the mud. Sometimes I changed the figure to +one not so ignoble, and likened ourselves to the stately vessels +anchored in Falmouth harbour, which were there because the wind was +contrary. We were wind-bound too, and dependent on circumstances; but my +idea of true religion was that we ought not to be like this. I rather +took for our type the great steamers which are propelled by powerful +engines, and come in and go out, and proceed on their voyage without +regard to wind or tide. We ought to be constrained I said, from within +by the love of God and thus be enabled to show the power of grace by +riding over all obstacles and triumphing in the midst of +discouragements. "He giveth songs in the night." Any bird can sing in +the sunshine. + +The self-restraint and self-control I had exercised in my churchy days, +and which I supposed was derived from sacraments, I found wanting in my +new work. We required something with authority, such as church and +priest supply. I could not, however, conscientiously go back to that +legal system, nor did I think there was any need, for I was sure there +was something somewhere, to be had, which should and would supply our +want, if I could but discover it. It appeared to me that my people, +without this, were subject to impulse, and consequently in bondage to +their feelings. + +In this time of lull I found that the steadfastness of some was shaken; +but I had known others, who had gone further back than these, return at +a revival time with new vigour. In this way, some of the Cornish people +professed to be converted scores of times. While ruminating on these +things and praying over them, I was surprised by receiving a letter +pressing me very much to come at once and preach in a parish in +Staffordshire, near Birmingham. Mr. Aitken had been on a mission in the +north, and on his return had stopped a night at this place, and preached +one of his alarming and awakening sermons. The effect was so great that +the people, together with their clergyman (a curate in sole charge) were +in much trouble and anxiety about their souls; there was a gloom hanging +over them, as if they had been sentenced to some dreadful doom, and did +not know what to do, or how to avert it. + +It is a good thing to wound, but it should be with the object of making +whole; it is a blessed thing to show sinners their lost condition, but +only for the purpose of getting them to lay hold of the great salvation +which is provided for such. + +In his perplexity the curate went to see the Bishop (Lonsdale) of +Lichfield. When his lordship had ascertained the cause of the trouble, +he took up a pamphlet which was lying on the table, and said, "If you +cannot get Mr. Aitken back, send for this gentleman, and pay his +expenses." "This gentleman," meant the author of the pamphlet, which his +lordship held in his hand, namely, myself; "his name and address are +here." said the Bishop; "take the book and read it carefully; he seems +to have both knowledge and experience in such matters." + +I was written to forthwith, and the letter urged me to "come at once." +In compliance, I started off that night, and reaching the place on +Saturday afternoon, opened a mission the same evening without further +notice. On Sunday I preached three times, and went to the school-room +for the after-meeting. There we had a scene which, for noise and +confusion was quite Cornish. Men and women cried aloud for mercy, while +some believers who were there shouted for joy. The curate in charge was +completely bewildered, but felt he could do nothing; and seeing, as he +remarked, that I appeared to understand it and know what I was about, he +thought he had better remain still, till the noisy meeting was over. +That same night, before he retired, he gave his heart to God. + +The work went on in this place with the force as of an explosion; just +as if hungry desires had been pent up a long time, and now they had vent +and opportunity to be satisfied. The church was crowded: every day, even +in the week; and we were kept in the schoolroom night after night till +twelve and one o'clock. + +The town was a dark, smoky, sulphury place, and the air filled with +exhalations and iron filings from the various works. It was a dreadful +atmosphere, and everything was black and dirty; the red fires from the +furnaces around glared all night long and presented an awful appearance. +To come from the pure air and beautiful scenery of Cornwall into such a +place as this, was most trying and uncomfortable; but the reward was +great. The work was deeply interesting, and scores of men and women of +all classes, besides five clergymen, professed to be converted that +week. + +The devil did not leave us alone; he was very angry, and raised up a +great opposition. The rector of the old church, who used to be most +benevolent and smiling, suddenly changed, and made it his business to +call on the curate in charge of the church, to tell him that he was +quite sure that his friend the vicar (who was away at the time in ill +health) would never have sanctioned this excitement. The curate said +that the Bishop had bid him invite Mr. Haslam, and that he had done so, +not knowing anything further about me or my work. The rector went off to +write to the Bishop forthwith, and in the meantime ordered bills to be +posted all over the town, warning people against "the Cornish fanaticism +at St. James's," which, of course, had the effect of drawing out a +greater concourse of people. + +What with excessive work and bad air, by Friday evening I was quite +exhausted. I came out of the pulpit to the vestry, and remembering that +Cornish miners, in order to recover themselves after climbing ladders, +often found it necessary to lie down flat on the ground, I thought I +would try the same plan for a few moments while the people were going +out to the schoolroom. I did so; and while I was in this position a +clergyman came in and asked me if I was ill. "No," I said, "I am only +resting for a short time." + +"Very well," he said, "rest on; but listen to me. The Bishop has sent me +here to see and hear you, and this is my report to his lordship." +Opening out a paper he held in his hand, he read: "St. James's crammed +to excess with a most orderly and devotional congregation; their +attention to the sermon marked and riveted; sermon from St. Luke xv, +verse 2, 'This Man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.' The +exposition of chapter most vivid and instructive; never heard better, or +so good; the application fervent and pointed; altogether, most edifying +service." + +"There, that is my report, so you need not be afraid of anything you +hear. I will tell the Bishop all about it. Thank you very much for what +I have heard. God bless you. Good-night!" + +"Oh," I said, springing up from the ground, "do not go yet! the best +part is to come. You have only seen me let down the nets; come now and +see them pulled up." "What is that?" he said, "Where am I to come?" "To +the schoolroom," I replied, divesting myself of my gown and bands, and +putting on my coat with all haste. "Come with me!" + +He seemed a little afraid, and asked many questions. When we reached the +place we could scarcely get in, and the noise certainly was tremendous. + +"What is all this confusion about?" he asked. "I think I had better not +go in to-night." + +"Oh, come in, come in!" I said; "do not fear." But somehow he slipped +off in the dark, and I did not see him again. When I entered, almost the +first thing I noticed was the two curates of the parish church, taking +notes. However, I did not heed them, or ask to see what they had +written; for I would always rather have real work, though with a noise, +than orderly, respectable stillness, and spiritual death. + +On Saturday I rested, but was very unwell all day, and did not know how +I should be able to work on Sunday. When the morning arrived, my +strength and voice were gone; it was impossible to preach. The people +met together and had a prayer meeting before the service, asking the +Lord to restore me. The curate was so much cheered, that he came to me +and said, "If you only get up and try, we feel sure you will be able to +preach." I got up, but had to go to bed again, for I was very ill. + +Just before eleven o'clock a visitor arrived, a very queer-looking +little man, in a black suit of Quaker cut, and a college cap without a +tassel, with the corners of the square board rounded off. Standing by my +bed-side in this costume, he said that he was a convert of Mr. Aitken's, +and had come all the way from Birmingham to hear me. "Moreover," he +said, "I am a herbal doctor. Please let me feel your pulse." + +He did so, and looking grave, sounded my lungs, put his ear to my chest +and then asked, "What is the matter with your left lung?" + +I replied, "I don't know. Three doctors told me, more than fourteen +years ago, that it was all gone." "Well," he said, "you stay quietly in +bed till I come again at half-past eleven." + +When he returned, he bade me get up and dress, and then gave me a cupful +of something very hot with cayenne, at the same time telling me that I +should be quite strong enough to preach by twelve o'clock. + +So I was. I preached that morning, and again in the afternoon; after +that I went to bed till six o'clock, when I took another dose, and in +the strength of it preached a long, loud sermon to a crowded +congregation; after which I attended the after-meeting, and was there +till twelve o'clock at night. I then set off to the station, accompanied +by at least two hundred people, and left by the one o'clock train for +Birmingham, to the house of my new friend the herbal doctor. He nursed +me like a mother, and let me go on my way home to Cornwall the next day. + +I never heard any more of the rector of the parish, or of the Bishop, +but was frequently cheered by letters saying that the work thus begun +was going on week after week in the same place. Some years after, when I +was passing, I stopped there for a few days, and gave them "a lift," as +they called it; and I then saw with half a glance that they had become +practised workers--that both clergymen and people were fitted to +missionize the whole country side. + +One's great object in this mission work is not only to save souls, but +to encourage believers to do their part; that so the effect of a mission +may be continued and extended. God has a twofold blessing for us. He +says "I will bless thee and make thee a blessing;" and it is well to +remember that the benefits we receive are not so much to be kept for +self, as to be imparted and transmitted to others, even as they were +transmitted to us. + + + +CHAPTER 24 + +Sanctification. + +Then I returned from the far-off mission in Staffordshire, whether from +over fatigue or other causes, I was much depressed in mind as well as +body, and quite out of heart with the Church of England. It is true I +found the converted people in Staffordshire were not so leavened with +Dissent as in Cornwall, and that there was some attachment to the +Church; but still I could see that Churchmen there, as elsewhere, +distrusted spirituality, and preferred to work on their own +ecclesiastical or sacramental lines; they chose to draw water to quench +their thirst, rather than to ask, and receive (directly from Christ) the +living water. + +If a bishop accidentally invited me, of if a clergyman cordially did so, +they were marked exceptions. I felt myself to be obnoxious to the +majority of my clerical brethren who professed to represent the Church; +but somehow, I was convinced that, as a converted clergyman, I +represented the Church of England more truly than they, and that the +principles of the Reformation were the principles I was working upon. +This was trial from outside, which, however trying to flesh and blood, +is by no means so bad as misgiving from within. + +I was discouraged also about the work in which I had been engaged; for +there was evidently an imperfection about it. I observed that some +people over whom I rejoiced as converted, went back to their former +worldliness, which perplexed and troubled me more than I can describe. I +knew from my own experience that conversion was necessary to salvation +and a new life; but when people professed to be saved, and did not live +a new life, I was sure there was something wrong. My dear friend, Mr. +Aitken, said, "My brother, this work is the Lord's; you must go to Him +and ask what is wrong. Lie on your face before Him till He shows you His +will about the matter!" + +This I did; for, shutting myself up in the church, I cried to the Lord +till I felt that an answer would come in due time. Soon after, I was led +to preach from the text, "Through this Man is preached unto you the +forgiveness of sins; and by Him all that believe are justified from all +things" (Acts 13:38, 39). This opened my eyes to see that the +proclamation was twofold-that through Christ Jesus, pardon was offered +to any and every sinner as such, and moreover, that by the same Christ +Jesus, every believer--that is, every one who had received the +forgiveness of his sins--was justified from all things. + +Those who know how old familiar texts flash upon the mind with new +meaning, will understand my surprise. God was speaking to me in answer +to my inquiry. I had been preaching forgiveness and salvation through +the blood-shedding and death of Christ; and confining myself to this, as +if salvation were all. I now saw that I had not preached about +Justification to believers, as fully as I had dwelt on the subject of +pardon to sinners; indeed, that I had preached to believers the same +Gospel which I preached to them before they were converted; that is, +that Christ died for their sins, but not the "yea rather, that is risen +again." No wonder they did not stand, if their standing-place before God +their Father was not simply and plainly put before them. Believers +having been brought from death unto life, from the cross to the +resurrection-side of Christ's grave, should be led to the Throne of +Grace, where Christ sits at the right hand of God, making intercession +for them. Once enlightened on the subject, it was easy to see that this +truth was set forth all through the Bible. + +For instance, when the prodigal son received pardon, immediately his +father called the servants and said unto them, "Bring forth the best +robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his +feet." Here, besides pardon, is standing--union--strength; and over and +beyond these, the feast of rejoicing. + +When the children of Israel were brought out of Egypt, it was not that +they should escape from bondage only, but that they should be led, and +even carried, by God through the wilderness. Moses illustrated this in a +simple yet comprehensive figure, when he wrote, "As an eagle stirreth up +her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh +them, beareth them on her wings: so the Lord alone did lead him, and +there was no strange god with him" (Deut. 32:11, 12). + +The thousands who perished in the wilderness were persons of whom it may +be said that they professed to come up out of Egypt, and did so in act; +but God, who looks upon the heart, saw that they were still lingering in +that place; for when they were in trouble, they said, "Would God that we +had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in the +wilderness! Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt" (Num. +14:2-4). + +This is one secret of the "going back" which I have noticed. People came +out as converted, whose hearts were still entangled in the things of +this world, or in some besetments with which they were fettered. Those +who are really converted should come out, as Caleb and Joshua did. They +left Egypt behind them altogether, and finally, in their trials and +troubles in the wilderness, they looked for deliverance, not in going +back, but in going forward, assured that if lions were before, there +were dragons behind. + +Another lesson which we may learn from these two, is, that they compared +difficulties and giants, not with themselves, but with the Lord. It was +true that they were not able to conquer their enemies or take their +cities, but, as they said, "the Lord is able to give us the victory." In +this I saw how Joshua trusted God, also how God wrought a great +deliverance. + +I urged the people to consider that we were not created and redeemed to +be saved, but saved to glorify God in our lives; but I grieve to say, +this teaching did not meet with the acceptance I hoped for. I wondered +at their slowness of heart to believe in the "risen" Christ, and was +sure that this was reason enough for their instability; and I felt that +there would be nothing else while they continued to receive only a part +of the Gospel instead of the whole. + +One thing leads to another. While I was thus making discoveries, my +attention was drawn to a hymn which spoke of "Jordan's stream," and +"death's cold flood," as if they were the same thing. Now, I had always +regarded Jordan as death; but the question in my mind was--What is all +that fighting and conquering in the land of Canaan, if Canaan represents +heaven? I observed, moreover, that the Israelites were on the defensive +in the wilderness, and on the aggressive on the other side of Jordan; +that they were led by the cloud on the one, and by a living Person on +the other; that they were daily sustained with manna, as children, on +the one side, and ate the old corn of the land, as men of Israel, on the +other, besides sowing and reaping for themselves. These striking' marks +of contrast excited much inquiry, and not obtaining, with sufficient +definiteness, the satisfaction I sought, I went to the Lord about this, +as before. I confessed my shortcomings, and the defectiveness of my +teaching, and pleaded earnestly, "Lord, what wouldst Thou have me to do? +What I know not, teach Thou me!" + +Then I was brought into the deepest distress and perplexity of soul, to +think that after my experience of conversion, and all I had done for the +conversion of others, I was still such a vile, self-condemned sinner. I +even began to think that I had never been converted; it appeared to me +that my whole life was nothing but intense selfishness; that I availed +myself of the blood of Christ for my salvation and happiness, and led +others to do the same, rejoicing with them in thus making use of God for +the purpose of getting quit of hell and gaining heaven. It was a clear +case of making God serve me, instead of my serving Him. Many other +things came to my mind, by which I knew there was an immense gap between +my experience and the Word of God. I can see it all now; but at the time +it was very dark and grievous. + +When I had been under conviction before, at the time of my conversion, +it was, as it were, with my eyes shut; but now they were open: then I +saw my sins, and the penalty which was due to them; now I saw my +unrighteousness, and the corruption of my nature. I felt as if I were +two persons, and that there was a law in my members warring against the +law of my mind, the flesh contending against the Spirit. "O wretched man +that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" For a +whole week I was in great distress of mind, especially during the last +three days. + +On Sunday morning, as I was going to the early Communion, my soul was +set at liberty. I felt as if a great cloud was lifted up; the light +shone into my soul; and I had deliverance. I was exceedingly happy in +the knowledge that the risen Christ Himself was my help---that He who +had hidden His presence in a pillar of cloud and fire, now was Himself +present in person, my omnipotent Friend and leader! + +This was quite a new experience, and one I had not known before. I +thought that I had not even heard or read of it, and therefore began to +suspect whether it was a temptation. I determined to be wise, and not +commit myself too soon, so made up my mind that I would not refer to it +in the pulpit. But at the close of the service a stranger came into the +vestry to thank me for my sermon; and when we were alone he put the +question to me, "How long have you known Sanctification?" + +I replied, "Do I know it now?" + +"Yes," he said, "you preached it experimentally this morning; and I +shall be very much surprised if you have not some inquiries on the +subject before the day is out." + +I felt reproved before this stranger's steady gaze, and confessed that I +had received the blessing that very morning; but thinking that it might +be a temptation, I had determined to say nothing about it. + +He said, "That was a temptation from the devil, sure enough, to hinder +you; for the Lord spoke on this subject through your sermon as dearly as +ever I have heard. Do not be afraid, but go on and tell others." + +So in the evening I preached on Sanctification, and we had an +after-meeting in the schoolroom. Many believers stayed behind to ask +questions upon the subject of my sermon. I do not remember how I replied +to them; but imperfect as my statements must have been, it nevertheless +led others to desire to enter into the experience of this same blessing. + +The following morning, I happened to take up a tract by John Fletcher, +of Madeley, in which I read, that at a breakfast party on the occasion +of a wedding, to which he was invited, just in the middle of idle and +frivolous conversation which was going on, he was constrained to rise up +and say, "I have three times had an experience of joy and liberty, which +I believe to be Sanctification, and it has passed away; now that it has +returned again, I take this opportunity to testify." The company were +all struck with amazement; the power of God was present; and the festive +gathering was turned into a meeting for prayer and praise. I took +warning from this tract never to withhold my testimony on this subject. + +Soon after this, I was holding an afternoon Bible class in another part +of the parish; we were going through St. Luke's gospel, and had come to +the fifth chapter; I said with reference to the miraculous draught of +fishes, that the fish had been swimming about in their native element in +all quietness and freedom, till they came in contact with a net, and it +came in contact with thorn. Observe, I said, three things: 1. They are +caught in the net. 2. They are drawn out of their native element. 3. +They are laid in the boat at the feet of Christ. So it is, where people +are caught in' the Gospel net--this is conviction; they are drawn out of +the state in which they were--this is conversion; but they are not yet +in the state in which they should be, this is why it is so hard to hold +them: they ought to be drawn to Christ Himself, for this is the ultimate +object of catching souls; the one thing needful is to be brought to the +feet of Christ. + +I intentionally abstained from using the word "Sanctification," though I +was endeavouring to typify the experience of it, and to contrast it with +conversion. As I went on speaking, a woman in the small assemble put up +her hands and began to shout and praise God, "That is Sanctification!" +she cried; "I have it! I know it! Praise the Lord!" There was a great +stir the class; some cried, and some asked questions. One woman, who was +more advanced in general knowledge and experience than most of the +others declared, that she did not believe in Sanctification, for she had +known so many who professed to have it, and had lost it. "Lost what?" I +said, "you cannot lose an experience; the joy of it may depart, and +certainly does where people rest on their feelings instead of the fact, +on the effect, instead of the cause." She confused the sanctification of +the believer, with the effect it produced on him. The Spirit which works +sanctification in our souls can keep us in it, if we continue to look to +Him, instead of looking at His work, I said to her, what I have said +ever since to all who are inclined to argue on the subject: Believers +too often dispute about Sanctification, in the same manner as the +unconverted do on the subject of Justification. It is not worth while +for those who know, to contend with those who only think. I told her to +go home and pray about it and ask the Lord if He had anything more to +give, to let her have it. + +She was sullen, and hard to persuade; but after a little more +conversation and prayer, she consented to lay aside her prejudice and do +as I had told her. She did so, and came again the next morning to see +me. Fortunately, I was not in my house, but shut up, as my custom was in +the church for meditation and prayer. She followed me thither, but being +engaged with my Master, I answered no knocks or taps, whether at the +doors or windows; even on this occasion I did not respond, although I +heard some one walking round and round the church and knocking +impatiently for admittance. When I came out, I heard that Hannah--had +called and wished very much to see me; for she wanted (to use her own +expression) "to hug the dear head of him, if she could catch him." She +was happy beyond expression, for she had had a dream; and what is more +she said that she had entered into the "second blessing." + +In her dream she saw a well of water as clear as crystal; it was +beautiful, and the clean pebbles at the bottom quite glistened with +brightness, so that she could count them. "There, there," she said, +"What does any one want clearer and cleaner than that?" As she looked +into this clear well, my voice said to her, "Throw a pebble into it," +when she did so; in an instant the water became thick and dirty. "Ah," +said my voice again, "The water of grace is always clear as crystal, but +the well in which it is--that is your heart is most unclean. The Lord +can give you a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within you" (Ps. +51:10). She woke up from her sleep, and immediately began to pray, +asking the Lord for a clean heart, until she obtained it. + +Some may say, "But what did she obtain?" This question is seldom if ever +asked by persons who know the experience of this blessing; but to those +who do not, it is very difficult to convey an idea of what it is by +definitions. Let it be enough to understand that there is something +desirable to be had, which may be obtained by doing as the woman did. +"As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man" (Prov. +27:19). Those who know it, understand one another and rejoice together. +There is no such mutual sympathy and joy as that which brethren have who +are partakers of this higher blessing. + +After this, Hannah became a restful, peaceful soul; and many others, +with her, found that quiet confidence which can only belong to those who +can and do trust a risen and living Christ. + +It was quite a new era in the work, and called out fresh energies; but +like every new thing, it absorbed too much attention, to the exclusion +of the simple Gospel for the unsaved. "Christ died for our sins," is +only part of the Gospel, though a very important part. "Christ rose +again the third day according to the Scriptures" (1 Cor. 15:3, 4), is +also a part, which should not be omitted in its due time and place. +These two important truths, I am sure, are needful for scriptural work, +and they should both be systematically preached. + + +CHAPTER 25 + +The Removal, 1855. + +When I was on the eve of leaving Perranzabuloe, and before I knew that I +was to go, I felt there was a gulf between the people and myself. +Whatever else they held they were quite ignorant of ecclesiastical +antiquities, Church history, and Catholic truth; what is more, they were +unwilling to learn about such matters. + +Now I began to feel that another gulf was opening between my present +people and myself. It was not as before, about ecclesiastical things; +but on another score altogether. I wanted them to believe in a living +Saviour: they were trying to content themselves with salvation instead. +I wanted them to trust the Giver: they preferred to rejoice in the gift. +I longed to lead them on to trust Christ as the object of faith, and +from this to go on to devote themselves to His service, for very love of +Him--to be loosed from the present world, by the hope of the Lord's +coming. I could not get the people to receive this teaching, though it +was God's truth, and could be verified by the Word. + +I confess that this threefold truth was not so satisfying to my own soul +as I expected it would be. I remembered that I had not learned it from +men or books, but experimentally, by God's teaching, in answer to +prayer. I could not imagine what was wanting, and did not discover, for +several years after, that the mere knowledge of a truth by itself, even +though it is about Christ, cannot deliver. It is not the truth of Christ +that delivers, but the Christ of the truth. In itself, it is but an +instrument in the hand of the Spirit; and our expectation should be not +from it, but from the Divine Person, whose it is. + +I have found that the power is Christ Himself; that where He is really +the object of faith, He keeps the believer in peace; and that if there +is no peace, it is only because there is a deficiency of trust: that He, +as the object of love, constrains us to work for His Father's glory; and +that He, as the object of hope, can and does separate us from the world +and its entanglements, by drawing our affections to things above and +beyond the present. Not having discovered this simple yet important +truth, I was restless; and from God's Word came down to read the words' +and thoughts of men. I fell in with the "Life of Madame Guyon." Here I +found much sympathy, but somehow not that peace I was looking for. Then +I read the writings of the Port Royal school, the Jansenists, Butler's +"Lives of the Saints," and other such books. These diverted my mind, +employed and interested it; but I cannot say they satisfied me. I was +craving for something which I had not found yet, and had to wait three +years or more before I did so. + +About this time I was invited to go to a parish in Plymouth, to a church +where sacramental teaching was the rule. The incumbent was evidently as +much dissatisfied with the state of his congregation as I was with mine. +He wanted something new, and I thought I did likewise. Accordingly I +went and preached in his pulpit, and the word spoken produced a marked +sensation. My sermon brought to the vicar's mind many truths he had +heard and loved in early days, and for this reason he urged me to stay +and preach again. Then, to my surprise. He invited me to leave Cornwall +and come to Plymouth. in order to take a district in his parish, that I +might help him occasionally in his church. This was altogether such an +unsought-for thing, and so unexpected, that I took time to consider. The +next day I told him that I could not entertain his proposition, and that +for three reasons:-- + + + 1. I said, "I am sure that the Bishop would not consent." + 2. "I have a debt laid on me by my patron for nearly 3,000 l., + which I spent in building the church for him." + 3. "I am responsible for a debt of 300 l. as security." + +He still urged it, and said he would go and see the Bishop, and speak +with him on the subject. In his zeal he set off that very morning. The +Bishop at first said flatly, "No;" and then, upon further inquiry, +recalled the word, and said, "You may try it if you will." He returned +in the evening with this information, which surprised me greatly. But +what made me wonder still more, was the receipt of two letters the next +morning by the same post--one from London and the other from Paris, +releasing me from the responsibility of the two debts; and this without +any request on my part. The three difficulties, which were like +mountains before me only three days before, were now removed. I did not +know what to say, and therefore determined, in all haste, to go home and +consider the step. + +When I had related these astonishing circumstances to my dear wife, we +agreed to go together to consult with Mr. Aitken. On arriving I said to +him, "You must please to sit still and hear all before you speak." Then +I told him of the invitation to go to Plymouth, the result of the +preaching, the unexpected proposal to remove thither, the Bishop's +answer, and the remission of the 3,300 l. + +"Now," I continued, "what do you say?" + +"You must go, my brother," he replied; "for you will never make +Catholics of the Cornish people: the Methodist mind is far too deeply +rooted in them." + +Our friend's decision was firm; and so there remained nothing for us to +do but to follow it. The novelty of the proposition, and the surprising +circumstances connected with it were exciting, and took away our +thoughts for the time from the place which was to be left. When the +decision was given and accepted, then Baldhu seemed to lift up its +voice, and urge its claims. Certainly it was a strong tie which bound us +to this place; but nevertheless, on our return home, I wrote to the +Bishop, and' proposed to resign my present incumbency, in order that I +might take a district in Plymouth. He replied in due course, that he +would accept my resignation. After I was thus pledged, my wife's mind +veered from her consent to go; and Mr. Aitken changed his tone also, and +said that the text had come to him, "Cast thyself down," and that I was +tempting God. Yet all the steps I had taken had been in prayer, and had +been taken very reluctantly, for I was much attached to Baldhu. + +For nearly three months I was torn with distractions; sometimes hope +lifted up the mist from the horizon, and then let it down again. I did +not know what to do; the work at home had come to a stand; but there was +one thing, my successor was not yet appointed, nor had I signed my +resignation; therefore every now and then the thought came over me, that +I would stay. Then a letter came from Plymouth, urging me to come away +at once, "for the iron was hot for striking." Sometimes people came in +and said, "You had better go;" then others would come in and say, "You +will do no good if you do go." It was desolating, as well as distracting +beyond description. + +I had a family of six children and three servants; it was a great +expense to move there; and yet, if God was calling, it was quite as easy +for Him to move eleven people as one; and I had ten claims upon Him. At +last, suspense was over; my successor was appointed, and the day fixed +for our going. I signed my resignation, having to pay four pounds ten +shillings for it; then, suspense was changed into unmitigated sorrow. + +I had designed and built that church and house, and had seen them rise; +had made the garden, and had had many happy and wonderful days in this +place. I found it had taken a deep root in my heart, and therefore it +was like tearing one up altogether to go away. But it was done now, and +the friends who had advised me not to resign, seemed to have their +triumph; and those who advised to go, were discouraged and grieved at my +sorrowful state. My dear wife cheered up when she saw me down, and rose +to the occasion; she began to pack up as if delighted at going, and went +about everything most cheerfully. + +I told the people that I could not bear a leave-taking, but there would +be a service in the church, and Holy Communion, at seven o'clock on the +morning we were to leave. Many came, but the majority could not sum up +the courage to do so. I put my resignation on the offertory plate, and +gave it to God with many tears. A kind neighbour came to officiate for +me, so that I did not take any part in the service, being exceedingly +dejected and overwhelmed with sorrow. It was chiefly for fear, lest I +was doing that which God would not have me do, and taking my family out +from a comfortable home, I knew not whither, or to what discomforts. + +One thing I certainly saw plainly enough, that my affections were too +deeply rooted in earthly things. I had no idea till then, that that +place of my own creation had taken such a hold upon me. It was well to +be loose from that, and free for my Master's service. + +After breakfast we left the old place; many people stood weeping by the +roadsides; some ventured to speak, and others only thrust their hands +into the carriage windows for a hearty grasp, without saying a word. It +was indeed a sorrowful day, the remembrance of which even now makes my +heart sink, though it is more than twenty-five years since. + +In the evening we arrived at the house of some friends, who had kindly +invited us to break our journey, and remain the night with them; and in +the morning we proceeded on our way to Plymouth. When we reached the +house, we found our furniture unpacked, and distributed in the various +rooms, and the table spread ready for us to take some refreshment. The +word "Welcome" was done in flowers over the door, besides many other +demonstrations of kindness; but I am afraid we were all too sorrowful at +the time to show our appreciation of, or to enjoy them. + +We never settled in that house, and did not care to unpack anything more +than necessary, or hang up the pictures or texts. + +My work did not prosper here, for I found I was unequally yoked with +strangers, and accordingly felt dry and wretched. I sent my resignation +of Baldhu to Bishop Phillpotts, and with it my nomination and other +necessary papers, saying that I would wait on his lordship for +institution on a certain day. + +At the appointed time I went to him, when to my great surprise, he very +calmly said he could not appoint me to that district. I could not +understand this, for as I had told him, I had only resigned +conditionally, and reminded him that I had asked his permission to +resign, for the purpose of taking this district. + +"How can I consciously appoint or license you to anything in my +diocese?" he said, looking me full in the face, and then in his +courteous way he laid his commands on me to stay to luncheon, saying he +would be obliged "if I would do him this honour;" he bade me walk in the +garden, as he was busy, and would be occupied till luncheon. + +I felt that I needed a little quiet and fresh air to get over this +climax of my troubles--out of one living, and not into another; and that +with a wife, six children, and three servants, with very little to live +on. Here was a state of things! I had plenty to occupy my thoughts and +prayers. I feared and mourned, above everything, lest God should be +angry with me. "Oh, if I could only know this is the will of God, then I +should not care a fig for all the bishops on the bench, and would not +ask one of them for anything!" + +I was soon roused from my reverie, by the presence of Miss C. P., the +Bishop's daughter, who had come out at her father's request to show me +the garden and the view. I had known this lady slightly for several +years, and so she was not altogether a stranger to me, or I to her. She +talked so cheerfully and pleasantly, that it came to my mind, "Perhaps +after all, the Bishop is only trying me. He will not appoint me to this +bare district, because he has something better with which he means to +surprise me." This sanguine thought cheered me up greatly. At luncheon +he was as kind and happy as if he had neither done anything +dishonourable, or had any intention of doing so; so that I felt quite +sure something good was coming. I began to wonder at intervals, "What +part of the diocese I was to be sent to?--Where is there a vacancy?" and +so on. + +The Bishop was as friendly to me as he used to be in other days. After +the repast, he summoned me to his study again. "Now," I thought, "I +shall hear where I am to go;" but instead of this, he said that he was +"much engaged, and must take leave of me." + +I was more than astonished at this, and said, "I can scarcely believe +that you refuse to appoint me!" + +"I do then, most positively." + +"But I have a copy of my letter to your lordship, and your answer." + +"Then you may urge your claim by law, if you please." + +"No, indeed, my lord, I do not think I will do that." And then, after a +short pause, I said, "You have done for me what I could not dare do for +myself, though I have often been tempted to do it." + +"And pray, what is that?" he inquired. + +"To give up parochial ministration, that I may be free to preach +wherever I am led." + +"Could you do that?" + +"I could not do it conscientiously myself; but now that you have +stripped me of harness, I will put on no more." + +The Bishop made his bow, and I made mine; and that was the end of our +interview. In my unconverted days I used to be an ardent and +enthusiastic admirer of this man; his charges, his speeches, and +especially his withering, sarcastic letters to Lord John Russell and +others, who came under his tremendous lash, to my mind made him a great +hero. His straight forward manner also commanded my respect, for, +generally speaking, I had found bishops very smooth and two-sided, or +rather both-sided; but in his ease there was no mistake. + +It used to be a proud time for me when this Bishop came into Cornwall, +and I was permitted to accompany him, and to act as his chaplain at the +consecration of a church or burial ground, or to attend him when he went +to a Confirmation. Sometimes I had the happy privilege of rowing him in +a boat on the sea. He seemed to take such an affectionate and +intelligent interest in my parish and my church work. He asked various +questions about my neighbours, just as if he lived among them and knew +all their circumstances. He struck me as a wonderful man, and I was his +champion upon all occasions in my unconverted days. Notwithstanding +this, he was too honest to his own views to favour me after my +conversion. + +On my return home without a license, I had but a poor account to give, +and the future prospect looked very gloomy. + + +CHAPTER 26 + +Plymouth, 1855. + +I occasionally preached in the parish church, and went to the daily +Communion and the daily service. My spare time I occupied (it was like +going back to brick-making in Egypt) in painting the church. I laboured +for hours and hours to try and make this great chalk-pit of a place look +somewhat ecclesiastical. All round the church I painted a diaper +pattern, surmounted with a border, which went over the doors and under +the windows. Then on the bare wall at the end I painted a life-sized +figure of our Lord, as a Shepherd leading His sheep, taken from +Overbeck's picture. This, together with a few other pictures of Christ, +warmed up the building very well. Then for the chancel I had a most +elaborate design. + +First, there was a beautiful gilded pattern over the very lofty chancel +arch, which I managed to reach by means of a ladder. Professional people +need scaffolding and platforms, which I dispensed with, and accomplished +the whole space in less time than it would take to put up all their +needful erections. Inside the chancel I had twelve niches, with +tabernacle work above them, for the twelve apostles; and these were all +duly represented after a true mediaeval pattern. + +The local newspaper made great fun of these paintings; and the reporter +would have it, that "these lively saints looked very conscious of being +put up there, and that they were constantly 'craning' their necks to +look at one another--as if they would inquire, 'I say, how do you like +being there?'" My favourite figure, St. John, upon which I bestowed +extra pains, the provoking man would have it, was St. Mary Magdalene, +leering at the apostle next to her, or at the one opposite--it did not +seem quite clear to him which; but her head was down on one side in a +bewitching attitude. + +In the middle of the great undertaking I was called away for a few +weeks. During this time the reporter came again and again, but saw no +progress; he therefore put an advertisement into his paper to this +effect:-- + +"Stolen or strayed, a monkish priest, who paints apostles. He is not to +be found. Any person or persons who can give information concerning this +absent personage, will greatly oblige." + +My preaching was not acceptable in this church, neither was my +connection with it; and my apostles were no better appreciated, for they +were soon after whitewashed over, and disappeared like a dream. +Sometimes, in damp weather, they were still to be seen "craning" their +necks as heretofore (much to the amusement of the chorister boys) though +with a kind of veil upon them. Doubtless, in a future generation, when +the plaster begins to blister, some antiquarian will discover this +"wonderful mediaeval fresco," and call the attention of the public to +it. + +My ideas and dreams about catholic advancement were thus brought to a +calamitous end. This church to which I had come was one in high credit +for much private and public devotion; but, alas! I found what I might +easily have expected, that without spiritual vitality everything must be +dry and dead! Dry and dead indeed it was. The conversation of these +supposed ascetics was for the most part secular, and at the highest only +ecclesiastical. Their worship, on which a great amount of pains and cost +was bestowed, was but a form carefully prepared and carefully executed, +as if critics were present; yet it did not, and could not, rise to +spirituality. A lady presided at the organ, and had the teaching and +training of the choir. Much of her own personal and religious character +were imparted to the performances, which in tone and manner were +admirable and precise. She made the boys understand the sense of the +words they sang, till I have seen them even in tears during the singing. +The "chaste old verger" (as our reporter called him), who headed the +procession at least four times a day, up and down the church, was a very +important and successful part of the machinery, and from him, up to the +highest official, everything was carried out with exact precision. + +But oh, how unsatisfying and disappointing it was!--to a degree which I +was ashamed to own! How could I be so foolish, to give up a living, +where there was vitality, though it was rough, for a superficial and +artificial semblance of religion? In the book of Ecclesiastes we read, +that "a living dog is better than a dead lion;" and though I had often +quoted this saying, I never felt the truth of it so deeply as now. The +dead lion and the dead elephant are quite immovable things for a live +dog to bark at or fret about. It was a hard and trying time to me in +that place. I could not see my way, or understand at all what was the +Lord's will towards me. While in this state of mind I had a vivid dream. +I thought that the ornamental iron grating, which was for ventilating +the space under the floor of the church, was all glowing with fire, as +if a great furnace were raging there. I tried to cry "Fire!" but could +not. Then I ran into the church, and saw it full of people reverently +absorbed in their devotions. I tried again to give the alarm, and cry +"Fire! fire!" but I could not utter a sound. When I looked up, I saw +thin, long, waving strings of fire coming up among the people through +the joints of the floor. I called attention to this, but no one else +could see it. Then I became frantic in my gesticulation, and at last was +able to tell some of the congregation of the great fire which was under +them; but they looked at one another, smiling, and told me to go about +my business--that I was mad! I woke out of my troubled sleep in a very +agitated and perturbed state. Since that, whenever I have seen or heard +of churches, where Church and Sacraments are preached, instead of +Christ, as the one way of salvation, I long to warn the people of the +fire raging underneath, and to show them the way of the Lord more +perfectly. + +One day, when I was feeling more desponding and wretched than before, a +lady called, and said she wanted to speak to me--would I come to her +house for this purpose? I went, and she was not long before she opened +the conversation by charging me with being uncharitable. "You say we are +all unconverted." + +I replied, "Of course, as children of Adam we are, till conversion takes +place; there can be no mistake about that! But when did I say that you +were unconverted? Is it not your own conscience that tells you that? +When we preach to people as unconverted, those who are changed, and +brought from death into life, know as well as possible that we do not +mean them; and they pray for a blessing on the Word, that it may reach +others, as it once reached them. They do not sit there and resent the +charge, for they know what has passed between God and their souls, and +are anxious for others to share the same blessing." She was silent; so I +continued, "May I ask you the question. Are you converted? Can you tell +me that you are?" + +She replied, "I do not know what you mean." + +"Well, then, why do you suppose that I mean something uncharitable or +bad?" + +"Because I know very well it is not a good thing to be unconverted. +But," she added, "it seems such an unkind thing to put us all down for +'lost,' while you suppose yourself to be saved." + +"You may know more about this some day, perhaps; but in the meantime +will you allow me to ask you one thing: Do you believe in the Lord Jesus +Christ?" + +She replied indignantly, "Of course I do. Now, this is the very want of +charity I complain of-the idea of asking me such a question!" + +She was one of the Rev. --'s, (the confessor's) favourite devotees, and +had been absolved by him for several years; the very idea of asking her +if she believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, made her quite impatient, as +well as indignant.' + +I said, "Do not be angry with me, but what do you believe about Him?" + +"Believe everything, of course! I believe the creed." + +"Yes, I do not doubt that, for a moment. But do you believe that Jesus +died for you?" + +"Why, yes, certainly: how could I do otherwise; He died for us all." + +"That is not the point. I mean, do you believe that He died; and that +you have a personal interest in His death?" + +She hesitated, and then looking at me said, "Do you mean objectively, or +subjectively?" + +"May I ask what I am to understand by these words?" + +"Dr. -- taught me that, 'Christ died.' is objective, and that 'Christ +died for me.' is subjective." + +"Very good indeed," I answered, "I like that very much; it is quite +true. But it is one thing to know about subjective faith, and quite +another thing to have it. Now I will come back to my question. Do you +believe that Christ died for you?" + +"You evidently mean something that I do not understand," she said, in a +perplexed manner. Then looking at the crucifix on her table, I said, +"What does that remind you of?" + +"Oh, I pray before that every day, and ask the Lord to take my sins +away." + +"Then you do not think your sins are forgiven yet. How can you ask for +forgiveness, and have it at the same time?" + +"Do you mean to say then," she replied, with surprise, "that you have no +sins?" + +"Yes, I mean to say that my sins were atoned for, once for all, on the +cross; and that, believing this, I have peace and remission of sins. My +past sins are cast like a stone into the deep; and as to my daily sins +of omission and commission, I do not take them to the cross like a +Romanist, but to the throne of grace, where the risen and living Christ +is now making intercession for me." + +She was silent; and so was I, inwardly praying for her. Presently she +looked up and said, "I do thank Him for dying for me. Is that what you +want me to say?" + +"Thanksgiving is an indication of living faith. How can I believe that +Jesus died for me, and not thank Him?" + +"But I do thank Him, and it is very uncharitable of you to say, we do +not thank Him; we all thank Him!" + +She was gone again, and I wondered whether I should ever bring her back! + +"You remind me," I said, "of three ladies of good position, whom I met +last year. They all professed to thank God for Christ's death; but yet +they had no peace, and were not satisfied. Seeing they were in real +earnest, I proposed to go over the General Thanksgiving in the +Prayer-book with them. They did so, and thanked God for creation, +preservation, and all the blessings of this life, but above all--then as +I emphasized this 'above all,' they said, almost together, 'That is where +we are wrong. We have not 'put the redeeming love of God as shown in +Christ's death, above all.' These three ladies found peace and pardon +that same evening." + +"That has been my mistake too," said the lady, interrupting me. "I have +never put Jesus above all; but I do desire to do so, and that with all +my heart." + +"Then do so," I said, "and thank Him for His love in dying in your +stead, and shedding His blood to wash your sins away." + +"He shall have all my heart!" she exclaimed. + +So saying, she knelt before the crucifix, and bowing gracefully and most +reverently, she reproached herself for not putting Jesus first, and +said, "Thou art worthy! Glory be to Thee, for Thy great love to me." +Then she rose from her knees, and once more tuning to me, said, "Thank +you so much! God bless you for your kindness and patience with me! I +cannot tell you how much I thank you. Do you remember once preaching +about Abraham offering up his son Isaac? You said, 'God the Father has +done more than this for us; and yet how few cry to Him and say, "By this +I know that Thou lovest me!"' I thought, and felt then, that you knew +something which I should like to know; and I have been longing to speak +to you ever since. Oh, I do thank you so much!" + +"Dear friend, I cannot refuse your thanks, but I should like to see you +thanking God more than you thank me." + +I knew that she could sing and play, so, pointing to the piano, I asked +her if she would sing a hymn. "Yes," she said, "I will. What shall I +sing?" + +"Find 'When I survey the wondrous cross,'" I said. + +She did not need to find the music, for she knew it without; so, sitting +down, she began to sing, till the tears came into her eyes, and her +voice broke down. "I never knew the meaning of these words before," she +said; "'Sorrow and love flow mingled down.' How could I be so blind and +ignorant? 'Love so amazing, so divine,' does 'demand my life, my soul, +my all!' O Lord, take it!" + +After this, I had a few parting words with her, and pointing to the +crucifix I said, "Remember Christ is not on the cross now. He died; that +is past. He is risen, and has ascended up on high. The throne of grace +is not the crucifix or the confessional, but where Christ sits--at the +right hand of God; and we, as believers, may in heart and mind thither +ascend, and with Him continually dwell. Have done, then, with this dead +Popery; you know better now. Testify for the glory of God." + +This lady's conversion vexed her husband greatly, and brought down the +frowns and disapprobation of the reverend doctor; altogether, it did a +deal of mischief in the camp. The "Sisters of Mercy" with whom she was +connected were kept aloof from her contaminating influence, and soon +afterwards were altogether removed from the place. There was one, +however, a particularly hard-headed looking individual, who used to +stare at me through her round spectacles whenever I met her, as if I +were an ogre. I heard that she was a great mathematician. She looked +like it; and evidently there was no fear entertained of her being +converted. She and one other were left behind; but otherwise the house, +which had been built at great cost, was empty. The lady was not allowed +to speak to me any more; but I hope she continued to go to the true +throne of grace, and not to the crucifix to a living, not a dead Christ. + +All this, doubtless, was intended to sicken me of my reverence for the +Catholic theory. I was evidently under an infatuation on the subject, +which, for the time, nothing could dispel. I had some poetic or +imaginary fancy of spiritual catholicity before my mind, which I +supposed was something better than the fleshy spirituality of Methodism, +to which I had taken a great dislike; but where to find this Utopia, or +how to embody it, I knew not. These specimens of catholic people I +certainly had no sympathy with; nor had I any patience with their hollow +devotion and their studied imitation of Popery. I plainly saw that light +could have no fellowship with darkness, or life with death. I was more +and more convinced that when a man has more sympathy with dead Catholics +than with living Dissenters, he is not a living soul at all. There is no +necessity to go to one extreme or the other. I believe the reformed +Church of England (in her principles, at least) occupies the middle path +between these two extremes, with the excellences of both, and the faults +of neither. I think I was permitted to be thus unsettled in my mind, +because I did not keep to my work with a single eye to God's glory. + + +CHAPTER 27 + +Devonport, 1855. + +I was at this time invited to preach in a church in Devonport, where it +pleased the Lord to give blessing to His word. With this exception, my +work was, generally speaking confined to individual cases. I will give +an account of a few which present the most instruction and interest. + +The first I will mention is that of one of the curates of the church in +which I was asked to preach. At this time he was preparing for +confession, and his self-examination had brought him to see and feel +that he was a sinner. Under this course of preparation, the preaching of +the Gospel had much effect upon him, and he came to tell me of his +state. I was able to show him from the Word of God that he was in a +worse condition than he supposed--that actually, by nature, we are lost +sinners now. Under the operation of the Holy Spirit he was brought to +feel this also, and was very miserable. + +One day, while officiating at a funeral, the Lord spoke peace to his +soul; so great was his joy, that, he said, he could scarcely refrain +from shouting aloud in the middle of the service. After it was over he +went about everywhere, telling of his conversion, and the Lord's +dealings with his soul. + +The result of this was that his fellow-curate (who was also preparing +for confession) was awakened, and came to me in great distress of mind, +declaring he "could not say he was converted," and that he was very +unhappy. He acknowledged that he should not like to die as he was, and +therefore knew he ought not to be satisfied to live in that state. +However, when I got to close dealing with him about his soul, he said +that though he could not say he was saved, he certainly thought that he +was being saved by continual absolution and the sacrament. Upon this, I +was enabled to show him that he did not go to the means of grace, or +even to the Lord's table, because he was saved, but in order to be +saved; and that he was working for life, and not from life. He gave up +disputing, and was not long before he too found peace in believing. + +The time was approaching for these two curates to go, as usual, to +confession. They came together to ask me about it. I counselled them to +go, by all means, to the reverend doctor, who usually received their +confession, and to tell him in their own words how the Lord had +convicted and converted them. I said that Bilney, one of the first +martyrs of the Reformation, when he was converted, went immediately to +make confession to Latimer, and by doing so he became the means of his +conversion. "Go, by all means; you do not know what use the Lord may +make of your testimony." + +They went accordingly, but did not meet with the happy success of +Bilney, for they were sent indignantly away one after the other for +saying their sins were pardoned and their souls save, and that by direct +and personal faith in Christ, without the intervention of a priest. The +reverend confessor, unlike the honest Latimer, said these young men had +come to mock him. + +Notwithstanding these instances of usefulness and encouragement, I +continued to be very unhappy, for want of more general work, and felt as +if God had cast me off. I can now see that this testing and perplexing +dispensation through which I was passing, was not altogether such a +barren desert as I felt it to be at the time. It was fraught with many +lessons, which have stood by me ever since, though I must confess I +never revert to this period without many unhappy memories. + +I will record one more lesson which I was taught in this place, and then +go on to other subjects. + +One warm spring day, while I was sitting in my house with the doors and +windows open, a gentleman came running into it in great haste, somewhat +to my surprise, he being a perfect stranger to me, and I to him. +Standing in the passage, and looking into the room where I was seated, +he said, "Sir, are you a clergyman?" + +I replied, "Yes, I am." + +"For God's sake, come; follow me!" + +So saying, he went away. I immediately took up my hat, and ran after him +down the side of the square, and noticing the gate where he turned in, I +walked leisurely to the same place, and found him in the passage of his +house panting for breath. He had run so fast that he could not speak, +but made a sign to me to go upstairs; then pointing to a door, he bade +me go in. On doing so, I saw at once it was a sick-chamber, and found +myself alone in the presence of a lady, who was sitting up in the bed. I +bowed to her, and said, "Can I help you?" + +She said, "Oh, no! it is too late!" + +"Too late for what?" + +"I am dying; I am lost! I am lost! It is too late--too late!" + +"But Christ came, and is present, to-save the lost." + +"Oh, yes! I know all that. I taught it to others, but I never believed +it myself. And now it is too late: I am lost!" + +"Then believe it now! Why not 'now'?" + +"Because it is too late!" + +"While there is life there is hope! Lose no more time. 'God so loved the +world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on +Him should not perish'" (John 3:16). + +"That is not for me. I know that text very well, but it will not do for +me. I am lost! I am lost! It is too late!" + +While I was speaking I saw her falling over the side of the bed. +Springing forward, I put out my arm, and, with her head resting on it, +and her despairing eyes looking into my face, she expired. I could +scarcely believe it, when I saw that flush on her face fade away unto +the pallor of death. She was gone! I placed her poor head on the pillow, +and rang the bell for assistance. Her mother and sister came in, saying, +"Is it not dreadful?" + +I said, "Look at her. She is gone. She said it was too late, and that +she was lost for ever." + +"Oh," exclaimed the mother, "it is most dreadful!--most dreadful!" This +poor young lady used to be a Sunday-school teacher and district visitor; +but she was never converted, and she knew it. She had full +head-knowledge, but no heart experience, and thus she died in unforgiven +sins. Lost---for ever lost! + +Notwithstanding this, and other solemn lessons which the Lord was +teaching me at this time, I was still restless and unhappy. I felt as if +my life, with its work, was cut off in the very beginning of its +usefulness, and that there was no more for me to do. As the weather +became hot with the advancing summer, I was more and more dejected in +mind and body. I lived now among strangers, and had no settled +occupation, nor could I apply myself to study. + +One very hot and dusty afternoon, as I was slowly toiling up a steep +hill, two women overtook me; and as they were passing, I heard one say +to the other, in a very sad and disheartened tone, "I wish I had never +been born;" and the other responded much in the same spirit, though I +could not hear what she said. A fellow-reeling makes us wondrous kind, +and has the effect of drawing out our sympathies. I followed these poor +women, and when we were on the top of the hill, I spoke to them, and +then added, "You seem very weary. Will you come in and take a cup of tea +and rest a little?" They thanked me, and consented. So I took them into +the house, and asked for some tea. While it was being prepared, I said +to them, "I overheard you talking on the road as you passed me. Do you +really wish you had never been born?" The poor woman who had uttered +these words burst into tears; and as soon as she could command her +feelings sufficiently, she told me her sad tale of sorrow and trouble. +She was a soldier's wife, as was also the other, and they were both in +the same distress. "Well," I said, "trouble does not spring out of the +ground; and we may be equally sure that God, who sends, or at least +permits it, does so for our good. One thing is certain, that if we +humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, He can and will lift us +up, for He has promised to do so. He will make all things work together +for our good, if we trust Him." I then asked them if they had given +their hearts to God. + +One of them said, "Ah, that is what I ought to have done long ago; I +know a deal better than I do. I was brought up well, no mistake; but I +was giddy, and went after the red-coats, and married an ungodly man, and +now I am suffering for it." + +"Dear woman," I said, "you may thank God for hedging up your path. He +might have given you over to prosperity and a false happiness, or left +you altogether. Thank God that it is not worse with you; and give Him +your heart. Do you believe that the Lord Jesus died for you?" She would +not speak. Then I turned to the other, who was also crying, and said, +"Do you believe?" + +"I did once," she said, in a dejected tone; "but I have gone back from +everything." + +By this time their tea was ready, so I refreshed them with it; and after +that we resumed our conversation and united in prayer. They both gave +their hearts to God. I found that they lived not far off, so I had the +opportunity of seeing them from time to time, and was able to instruct +and cheer them on their way. I can see now how God was speaking to me +through these women; but somehow I did not hear or recognize His voice +then. + +About this time, my dear wife became very prostrate in health and +spirits--so much so, that we felt anxious about her. I went to a famous +physician, who was in the neighbourhood, and asked him to come and see +her. He did so, and after careful examination, said that there was +really nothing the matter more than that she was one of those persons +who could not live in that limestone town in the summer. He said, "She +will be perfectly well if you take her away into the country. You must +do this at once, for the longer she remains here, the weaker she will +be." He refused to take any fee, and said he would send a carriage at +two o'clock, and that we must be ready to start by that time. This was +more easily said than done; for where could I take the children, or how +could I leave them at home? However, as the doctor was very peremptory, +we prayed about it, and considered how we were to accomplish the task. + +At this critical moment a friend arrived in his carriage, and said he +had driven in from the country to bring some relatives of his to the +train, and did not care to go back alone. "Would one of us, or both, +take pity on him, and give him our company?" As soon as he heard of our +position he greatly rejoiced, and said, "Come, all of you; I have plenty +of room!" He took the invalid, with some of the children. I shut up the +house, and followed with the others and the nurse, in the fly, which +duly arrived at two o'clock. By five o'clock we were all out in the +green fresh country, and our patient was already revived, and walking +about the garden. + +There happened to be a farm-house vacant, which we took, and removing +some of the furniture, made it comfortable for the present. This we +called "home" for a little time during my unsettled state. + + +CHAPTER 28 + +A Mission to the North, 1855. + +When my family were all comfortably settled and surrounded by kind +friends, I went off to the north of England, on a visit to a clergyman, +who had invited me. He had already suffered for doing this on a previous +occasion, in the diocese of Oxford; where the bishop took away his +licence, because he had me to preach for him. The real cause of offence +was, that there was a revival in the parish; and complaint was made to +the bishop, that people were kept up till "all hours of the night, +howling and praying." His lordship sent forthwith for my friend's +licence; I advised him to send it, saying, "He will be sure to return it +to you; but perhaps with a reprimand." Instead of this, the bishop kept +it, and said that he would countersign his testimonials to go to another +diocese. My friend was at first disgusted and disposed to rebel; but +instead of this, he bore the treatment patiently; and went to another +position and charge at G--, in the north of England. + +Thither, nothing afraid, he invited me to come. In this part of the +country I found a hearty lively people, something like the Cornish. Here +I soon regained my spirits, and got to work in right earnest. + +In this place a revival began at once; and every day we had people +crying for mercy, very much in the way they did in Cornwall. Among +others, there came to the church on Sunday afternoon, a tall +Yorkshireman, in his working clothes. He stood under the gallery, in his +shirt sleeves, with a clay pipe sticking out of his waistcoat pocket, +and a little cap on his head. I fancy I can see him now, standing erect, +looking earnestly at me while I was preaching, with his hand on one of +the iron supports of the gallery. As the sermon proceeded he became +deeply interested, and step by step drew nearer to the pulpit. He seemed +to be altogether unconscious that he was not dressed for a Sunday +congregation, or that he was the object of any special notice. After the +sermon he knelt down in the aisle, and there he remained. I was called +out of the vestry to go to him, but could not get him to say a word. I +prayed by his side, and after some time he groaned out an "Amen," then +he got up, and went towards the door. I followed him, and saw that +instead of going along the path, he made across the graves in the +churchyard, to a particular one; and then he threw himself on the +ground, in vehement and convulsive emotion. He said something about +"Edward," but we could not distinguish what it was. The sexton said that +this was his son Edward's grave. Poor man! he was in great sorrow; but +he kept it all to himself. He then went home, and shut himself up in his +own room. His daughter could do nothing with him in his distress. We +called several times to see him in the course of the evening, but in +vain. + +The next morning I called again, when his daughter told me that he had +gone out early, and had not returned to breakfast. She appeared to be in +a good deal of trouble, and said she had been to his mine to inquire for +him, but that he was not there. All day long we searched for him. Some +looked in the woods, half-expecting they might find his body on the +ground, or hanging from a tree; while others inquired in every +direction, with increasing anxiety, till the evening. Then, as we were +returning home in despair and disappointment, whom should we see in the +green lane between the vicarage and the church, but our friend. He was +looking into the shrubs as if watching something; and when we came up to +him, he turned to us with a radiant smile, and said, "The Lord is +'gude.'" + +I said, "You are right, He is so." + +"Yes, I am right, all right! thank God! Think of that! He saved me this +day!" + +"Are you coming to church to-night?" + +"Oh yes, certainly I will be there." + +"But," I said, "have you been home yet?" + +"Oh yes, sir, thank you; my girl knows all about me." + +That man was so manifestly changed, and so filled with the Spirit, that +his old worldly companions were afraid of him. The publican of the inn +he used to frequent was particularly so, and said he was frightened to +be in the same room with him. + +There was a great stir among the people in this place; for the fear of +the Lord had fallen on them, so that they were solemnized exceedingly, +and many were converted. + +The vicar being somewhat timid, began to be afraid of what was going on; +and wrote to ask counsel of a clerical neighbour at C--, who answered +his letter by inviting him to come over, and bring me with him. He said +that he wanted me to preach in his church on the following Friday +evening, adding, "I have already given notice, and also read parts of +your letter in church. I am sure the people will come and hear this man; +I expect a large congregation. Be sure and bring him over; do not +disappoint me on any account!" + +Accordingly, on the Friday we appeared there, and in the evening I +preached to a large and attentive assembly. Many were awakened, and some +remained behind to be spoken with; others, who were too shy to do so, +went home; and we heard the next morning that several had had no sleep +or rest all night. Three men, whom we saw in the morning, had found +peace. After this, we drove slowly back to G--, but a messenger had +arrived before us, and said that I must come back again with him, for +the bills were already out that I would preach on Sunday and following +days at C----. The vicar was most reluctant to let me go, but under +these circumstances, he at last consented; so I went back in the +carriage the messenger had brought for that purpose. + +At the Sunday morning service, the manner and tone of the people, and +their eager attention, implied that something was going to happen. There +was a deeply solemn feeling in the church, both morning and evening, +which made it very easy to preach. In the course of my sermon, I know +not why, I was led to Speak about the endless misery of hell; and some +who were present said I asserted, "That there was a great clock in hell, +with a large dial, but no hands to mark the progress of time: it had a +pendulum which swung sullenly and slowly from side to side, continually +saying, 'Ever! never!' 'Ever! never!'" * + +______________________ + +* Both Bridaine and Krummacher have expressed somewhat the same idea. +________________________ + +This seemed to make a profound sensation among the people: many stayed +to the after-meeting-they would not go away until they had been spoken +with. Among others, the churchwarden came to me in a very excited state, +and said, "What ever made you say, 'Now or never!--now or never!'?" He +was like one beside himself with emotion when he thought of the pendulum +which I had described. "Now or never!--now or never!" he kept on +repeating to himself, till at last he went away. He was far too excited +to talk of anything else, or to listen either. + +Later on in the evening, we were sent for to come in all haste to his +house. There we found him in great trouble of mind, and afraid to go to +bed. After talking to him for a short time, he went on to say that he +had a strange thing to tell us--that that very morning he was lying in +bed (he thought he was quite awake), and looking at a little picture of +the crucifixion which was hanging over the fireplace. While doing so he +saw as plainly as possible some black figures of imps and devils walking +along the mantelpiece with a ladder, which they placed against the wall, +evidently for the purpose of removing this picture from its place. He +watched them intently, and noticed that they seemed much troubled and +perplexed as to how they were to accomplish their task: Some of the imps +put their shoulders to the under side of the frame, while others went up +the ladder; one, in particular, mounted to the top with great dexterity, +to get the cord off the nail, but without success. Enraged at this, they +made various other attempts, but all in vain, and at last they gave up +in despair, if not something worse; for by this time they appeared +furious, and dashed the ladder down to the ground, as if it were the +fault of it, and not of themselves. In rage and disappointment, they +passed off the scene. + +Presently the bedroom door opened, as he thought, and who should present +himself but "Paul Pry" (that was the name he had given to a Dissenting +preacher in the village, who was a portly man, and always went about +with a thick umbrella under his arm)--the veritable Paul Pry, umbrella +and all, standing at the door. He said to his visitor, "What do you want +here?" The phantom pointed to the picture over the mantelpiece, and +said, in a quiet, confiding way, "Now or never! Do you hear, man? Now or +never!" The man was indignant at this untimely intrusion, and bade his +visitor begone; but, for all that, he still stood at the door, and said, +"Now or never!--now or never!" He got out of bed, and went towards the +door, but the figure disappeared, saying, "Now or never!--now or never!" + +Then he got into bed again, and all was still for a little while, when +suddenly the door opened a second time, and the vicar appeared, just as +Paul Pry had done, and came towards the bed, as if with a friendly and +affectionate concern for his welfare, and said, "My dear fellow, be +persuaded it is 'now or never!'" Then, taking a seat at the corner of +the bed, with his back leaning against the post, he went on talking, and +saying, again and again, "Now or never!" + +The poor churchwarden remonstrated in vain against being visited in this +manner, and thought it very hard; but the vicar sat there, and +persistently, said, "Now or never!" He became very angry, and bade him +go out of the room immediately; but the vicar said, "Now or never!" + +"I will 'now' you," he said, "if you do not be off;" and so saying he +rose up in his bed; while the vicar glided to the door, repeating, "Now +or never!" and went away. The poor man, in great distress of mind, +turned to his wife, and asked her what could be the meaning of all this; +but she only cried, and said nothing. + +Then, who should come next but Mr. F----, a quiet man of few words. He +had thoughts, no doubt, but kept them all to himself. He came gliding +into the room, as the vicar had done, sat on the same corner of the bed, +leant against the same post, and in 'the quietest way possible repeated +the same words, "Now or never!" + +"Do you hear him?" said the poor distracted man to his wife--"do you +hear him?" + +"Hear him? Hear what? No! nonsense! What does he say?" + +"My dear, there! listen!" + +"Now or never!" said the quiet man. + +"There, did you not hear that?" + +"No," she said, "I can hear nothing," and began to cry more copiously. +He got up, and said he would take the poker and punish every one of +them--that he would. The strange visitor made for the door, and, like +all the rest, said, as he disappeared, "Now or never!" + +The poor churchwarden continued in a most distracted state, and during +the day met all his three visitors who had caused him so much +anxiety--"Paul Pry," the vicar, and the quiet gentleman, none of whom +looked at him or spoke to him as if anything had happened; but when he +heard me say over and over again in the pulpit, "Now or never!" +pointing, as it were, to the ghostly pendulum swinging there saying, +"Ever!--never!" and inquiring of the people "Do you see it? do you hear +it?" it seemed to bring matters to a climax. He said he turned and +looked at the wall to which I pointed, and almost expected to see that +solemn clock. + +I did not wait to hear more, but kneeling down, I begged him to close +with the offer of salvation "now." "No," he said, with a sigh, "I am +afraid I have refused too long!" + +"Don't say so! take it at once, 'now;' or perhaps it will be 'never' +with you. A man does not often get such a plain warning as you have had. +You had better take care what you are doing. 'Now!' why not 'now'?" He +did accept salvation, and yielding himself to God, received forgiveness +of his sins; and after that became a very different man. + +He had, as may have been suspected from the above narrative, the +besetment of drink, before his conversion, and it remained a trouble to +him after. Conversion and forgiveness of sins do not put away present +bad habits. Such a master habit as this requires a direct dealing with. + +Zaccheus was a man who had been led astray by the love of money; when he +was saved, he put his idol away from him at a stroke. This is the first +thing to be done; and if it is done in the power of one's first love, it +is a more easy task than afterwards. But it must be done with a firm and +whole heart; not "Lord, shall I give the half of my goods to feed the +poor?" but, "Lord. behold, the half of my goods I do give." "Behold, +Lord, I do give up the world here, now." "Behold, Lord, I do here, and +now, give up drink, anti will totally abstain from it henceforth." This +is the first step; and the next is not less important, and that is to +carry out the determination in the Lord's power, and not in our own. The +resolution and determination once made, must be given over to the Lord +to be kept by Him; not by our own effort and energy, but with perfect +distrust of self and in dependence upon Him to enable us to keep it. +Without this, there is no security whatever for anything more than +temporary success, too often succeeded by a sorrowful fall. The flesh is +too strong for us, and even if it were not so, the devil is; these two +together, besides the lax example of the world, are sure to overpower +the weak one. Young Christians need to put away at once the sin, +whatever it is, that "so easily besets" them, or they will be entangled +by it. There is no real and thorough deliverance, except by renouncing +sin, and self too, giving up and yielding to the Lord. + +That soul was saved; but it was a miserable bondage of fear in which he +lived and died. He was brought home at last, like a wrecked ship into +harbour, who might have come in with a good freight, a happy welcome, +and an "abundant entrance." + +The next day, Monday, we heard of other cases which were ordinary in +their character, and therefore need not be detailed; but in the evening +there was one which it will be instructive to mention. + +It was that of a clergyman of private means who came to this parish as a +curate; but he had given up "taking duty," because, he said, "it was all +humbug reading prayers, and all that." He drove a tandem,' and smoked +all day instead; nevertheless, he was the object of much and earnest +prayer. He also happened to be at church the day I preached about the +clock; and declared likewise that I said there was a clock in hell. The +sermon had evidently made a great impression upon him. He came to church +again the next day, and heard something else that he was unable to +forget. After the service, as soon as I was free, he asked me to walk +with him, to which I assented, though I was feeling very tired. We +rambled on the beach, and talked about many things. I tried in vain to +bring up the subject of my discourse. When I spoke about it he was +silent; and when I was silent, he went off into other matters. He talked +about Jerusalem and the sands of the desert, and the partridges, which, +he said, were of the same colour as the sand. Was it from looking at +sand always that they became that colour? Do people become alike who +look much at one another? Is that why husbands and wives so often +resemble each other? and so on. These questions made an impression on +me, so that they always come up to my memory in connection with that +evening's walk. Certainly, the apostle says that, "Beholding the glory +of the Lord, we are changed into the same image from...glory to glory;" +therefore there may be something in my companion's idea. But, however +interesting the subject might be to consider. I was far too tired for +anything else but real soul-to-soil! work, and therefore proposed that +we should return home. We did so; and when my friend left me at the +vicarage door, he said abruptly, "Will you let me write to you?" + +"Certainly," I replied. "I will write to-night; but do not trouble to +answer in person; send me a written reply. "I said I would. In a few +minutes after I received a short note, the purport of which was, "How +can I be saved?" It is a very simple question, yet one not so easily +answered to a person who already knew the scriptural answer. However, I +had a letter by me which Mr. Aitken had written to some one under +similar circumstances; so, taking that for a model, I wrote according to +promise, adapting and altering sentences to meet the present case. I +sent the note, with a message that I would call in the morning. I did +so, but found my friend was not at home. The landlady said, "Mr. F--- +went out last night soon after he received a letter, and has not been +home since." She became alarmed when she heard that we had not seen him. +We too were taken by surprise, and did not know which way to go in +search of him, or what to do. Presently we met the clerk of the church, +who inquired if we had seen anything of Mr. F--; he had called the night +before for the keys of the church, and had not returned them; so he (the +clerk) could not get into the church to ring the bell or admit the +congregation. + +This threw some light on the matter; so we went immediately to the +church, and with the vicar's keys entered by the vestry door. Looking +about in all directions, we found our friend on his knees in the nave, +where he had been all night. I went up to him; and, as he did not speak, +I asked if I might pray with him. + +He said, "Yes." + +"What shall I pray for?" + +"I don't know." + +"Shall I ask the Lord to come down from heaven again and die on the +cross for you?" + +"No." + +"Do you believe that He has done that?' + +"Yes, I do." + +"You do believe that He has died for you-for you?" I inquired, laying +the emphasis on you--"for you, as if you were the only person for whom +He died?" + +"Yes; I believe He died for me." + +"Do you thank Him for it?" + +"No, I do not; I do not feel anything." + +"That may be; but do you not think you ought to thank Him for what He +did for you?" He did not reply. + +"How can you feel anything till you have it? Or how can He give you any +feelings till you thank Him for what He has already done for you? Make +some acknowledgment." + +"Thank you," he replied; and without another word he rose from his knees +and went away. The bell was rung, the people assembled, and we had the +service; but he did not remain. + +Again he disappeared for the whole day, until the evening, when he came +into the vestry, and said, "Will you let me read prayers this evening?" +To this the vicar gladly assented; so he put on the surplice for the +first time after several months, and went into church with us. + +The fact of his reading prayers again, and more especially the manner in +which he did it, attracted attention. The earnest tone and meaning he +threw into the words of the prayers, and more particularly into the +psalm, penetrated much deeper. One lady knelt down and began to pray for +herself in the pew; others were riveted as by the power of the Spirit. +All through the sermon, I felt that the Lord was working among the +people, and at the close they were loth to go. Many more remained in the +after-meeting than we could speak to; manifest was the power of the +Spirit, and much good was done. + +There was great joy in the little village that night, and for several +days following the Lord wrought among the people. Many lasting mementos +remain of this week's ministry, and of the weeks which followed. + +Our reticent friend was changed indeed, and immediately gave up the +tandem and the pipes. I do not think he has ever smoked since; he has +had something better to do. + +Smoking is an idle custom, and too often enslaves its votaries; and even +if it does not become a dominant habit, it certainly teaches no lesson +of self-denial. A Christian man needs not to seek relief in any such +way. It is said to be very soothing when a man is in any trouble or +anxiety; if so, in this respect it may be said to be next door to the +beer-barrel, or to the use of spirits. If one man may soothe his +feelings with this narcotic, another may stimulate them, when he is low +and cheerless, with alcohol. The Apostle James says, "Is any merry, let +him sing psalms." He does not say, Is any afflicted or low, let him +smoke and drink! No; "let him pray," and depend upon God. Many a lesson +which might be learned from God on our knees, is let slip altogether +because we think there is no ham in relieving ourselves by +self-indulgence. The flesh is a monster which is never appeased, much +less subdued, by gratification. + +Our friend put away the smoking, and sold his pipes of various kinds, +which must have cost a considerable sum, for he realized eighty pounds +by them. With this amount, and some addition, he was able to put stained +glass windows into the already beautiful church in which he received his +blessing. This suitable thank-offering was a lasting memorial of his +gratitude, besides being an example to others, not only to give their +hearts to God, but also to give up their besetments, whatever they might +be, and in doing so be free for God's service. + +This young man soon after was removed to a more arduous sphere, and +carried great blessing thither; as he did also when he went from thence +to a yet more influential and important place. Though now laid aside by +ill health, he sends tracts and writes letters to many, and so continues +to be, in the hand of the Lord, the means of winning souls; and in +addition to this, sets an example of a holy and godly life. + +Another little incident I must notice here. While I was still working in +this place, I received a letter from home, telling me that they were all +well, and very happy in the country, but that they wanted me back again, +and thought I had been away quite long enough. Besides this, it was time +to be getting summer things, for which they would want at least ten +pounds. I had no money to send; and though I might have asked many kind +friends, I felt a difficulty about it. I do not think it was pride. I +had put myself and all my affairs into God's hands; and though I was not +ashamed to tell our circumstances to any one who asked me, I made it a +rule not to mention my troubles or wants to any but the Lord. I read the +cheerful parts of my letter at breakfast, and kept the other till I went +upstairs. There I spread the letter on the bed at which I knelt, and +read to the Lord the part that troubled me. I was praying about it, when +there came a knock at the door, and before I had time to say "Come in," +my friend F--- entered. Seeing me on my knees, he apologized for +intruding, and in his shy way put a ten-pound note into my hand, saying, +"I am ashamed it is not more; but will you accept that?" With this, he +made for the door; but I detained him, in order to show him the part of +my letter I had not read in the morning. I said, "I was just reading it +to the Lord; and look, while I was still on my knees, He has sent you +with the answer. It is the exact sum I want, so do not apologize for it. +I thank God and thank you. I will send this off at once." + + + +CHAPTER 29 + +Tregoney, 1855. + +It was time now to be returning southward and homeward; which I did by +several stages, stopping to preach in various places on the way. At +length I reached the village in Cornwall, where my family were lodging +in the farmhouse I have already mentioned. + +Here, the two clergymen were rather afraid of me, and avoided asking me +to preach in the church. They had both been converted (or, at least, so +they said) more than a year; but instead of working for God, they were +bent on Romanizing. One of them said that there was no salvation in the +Church of England; and the other showed me a sealed letter he had in his +desk, which, he said, he "dared not open." It was from a brother of his, +who went to Rome, and contained his reasons for so doing. "Ah," he said, +"if I open that letter, I feel sure that I shall have to go too." This +fascinating dread was upon him till he really did go, six months +afterwards. I tried to deter these men from the erroneous step they were +contemplating, by getting them into active work for the Lord. Sometimes +I preached in this church, but more often in the open air. I am sorry to +say my friends were but half-hearted in their cooperation, so that after +a few weeks I left, and went to the west. + +On my way thither, a clergyman, who happened to be inside the coach, +gave me his card, and then came outside for the purpose of talking with +me. He asked me if I would take charge of his church and parish for six +weeks. I said I would, but could not go for a week or two. We agreed as +to time, and on the promised Saturday I arrived at the place. + +I walked there from a neighbouring town, having several calls to make on +the way, and left my luggage to follow by the van. In the evening, about +eight o'clock, I went down to meet this conveyance, and tell the man +where to deliver my bag. I found a crowd of people in front of the inn +where the van stopped, and heard the driver say, in reply to some +question, "I've not got him, but I've got his bag." + +"Where is he?" said a voice. "I don't know," one said, "but I saw a +queer little chap go into Mrs. M--'s house." + +"That's the place," said the driver; "that's where I'm a-going to take +his bag. Come on, and let's see if he'll have it." + +I went in and out among the crowd, as it was dark, asking questions, and +found out that they "would like to duck the fellow if they could catch +him;" they "did not want any such Revivalist chap as that amongst them," +and so forth. They were greatly excited, and wondered which road he was +likely to come, for they would go to meet him. Some one asked, "what is +he like ?" One answered, "Oh, he is a rum-looking little fellow that +stoops. I should know him again anywhere." Hearing this, I held up my +head like a soldier, in order to look as large as possible, and waited +about till they dispersed. + +Then I joined a young man, and, talking with him, ascertained what it +was all about. I passed the house where I was to lodge, for I saw that +the people were watching the door. I came back among them, and, pointing +to the door, said, "Is that where he stops?" + +"Yes," one replied, "he is there. The man brought his bag and left it; +he is there, sure enough." + +I said, "Let us go in and see him; come along--come!" + +So saying, I made for the door and knocked, beckoning to the others to +follow me; but they would not do so. As soon as the door was opened I +went in, and the landlady speedily closed it after me, saying, "I am +glad you are come. How did you manage to get here? I have sent word to +the constable to look out for you, and he is still watching somewhere." + +"Why," I asked, "what is it all about? What is the matter?" + +"Why, some of the lads here say, that if they could catch you, they +would give you a good ducking in the pond." + +"Indeed!" I said. "Then I don't think I will give them that pleasure +tonight." So, sitting down by the fire, I made myself comfortable, and +after supper went to bed. + +In the morning, while at breakfast, I saw a number of men playing in the +open space in front of the house. Some were tossing pence, some playing +at ball and other games, while many were standing about smoking, with +their hands in their pockets. + +"There, that's the way they spend their Sundays in this place," said the +landlady. + +After watching them from the window for a little time, I put on my hat +and went out, and told them "it was time to go home and get ready for +church; that would be far better," I said, "than playing like this on +Sunday. It is a disgrace to men like you--married men, too, with +families! It would be bad enough if you were a parcel of boys. I am +quite ashamed of you!" + +They slunk away one by one, and I walked down the street to look about +me, and to see the school-room where there was no school; but I intended +to have a prayer-meeting there in the evening, after the service. I put +up a notice to this effect, and then came back to my lodgings, till it +was near church-time, when I set out, arrayed in my gown and bands, for +the sacred edifice. + +On the way there I observed stones flying past me in every direction; +but I walked on, till at last I was struck on the cheek with a patch of +muddy clay which was thrown at me. There was a universal shout of +laughter when the men and boys saw that I had been hit. I put my hand to +the place, and found that the pat of clay was sticking to my cheek, so I +pressed it there, hoping, by the help of my whiskers, that it would +remain. I said to the crowd, who were laughing at me, "That was not a +bad shot. Now, if you come to church you shall see it there; I will keep +it on as long as I can." So saying, I walked on amidst the jeers of the +people. + +When I arrived at the vestry, the clerk was in great trouble when he +knew what had happened. He said, "Do let me wash the mud off, sir." + +"Oh, no," I replied, "I mean to show that all day, if I can." + +During the morning service, at which there were about fifty present, I +succeeded in keeping on my mud-patch, and returned to dinner with the +same. + +In the afternoon I said that I would have a service for children, as +there was no Sunday school, to which about twenty came. Before +addressing them, seeing that they were intently looking at the patch on +my cheek, I told them how it came there, and that I intended to keep it +on all through the evening service. + +This news spread all over the whole place, and the consequence was that +such numbers of people came out of curiosity, that the church was filled +to over-flowing. I preached without any reference to what had taken +place, and succeeded in gaining the attention of the people; so that +after the service I said I would have a prayer-meeting in the +schoolroom. We had the place crammed, and not a few found peace. I +announced that I would preach again the next evening. + +A revival soon broke out in that place, and the crowds who came to the +meetings were so great, that we had as many people outside the large +school-room as there were in. + +At the end of the six weeks the new vicar returned, and I was able to +hand over the parish to him, with a full church, three Bible-classes, +and a large Sunday-school. This I did, thanking God for the measure of +success and blessing He had given to my efforts in that populous and +wicked place. + +After I had left I received a letter from some of the parishioners, +asking me what I should like to have as a testimonial of their gratitude +and regard; hat they had had a penny collection amongst themselves, +which amounted to several pounds, and now they were waiting to know what +I should like! + +I wrote to tell them that nothing would please me better than a service +of plate for communion with the sick. They bought this, and had a +suitable inscription engraved, and then placed it under a glass shade in +the Town Hall, on a certain day for inspection. Hundreds of people came +to see the result of their penny contribution. After this public +exhibition, the communion service was sent to me with a letter, written +by a leading man in the place, saying, "I was one of the instigators of +the opposition to your work here; but the very first evening you spoke +in the school-room I was outside listening,' and was shot through the +window. The word hit my heart like a hammer, without breaking a pane of +glass. Scores and scores of people will bless God to all eternity that +you ever came amongst us." + +The revival in this proverbially wicked place, created such a stir that +the newspapers took it up, and thought for once that I "was in the right +place, and doing a good work!" The member for the borough sent me +twenty-five pounds, "begging my acceptance of the trifle." Who asked +him, or why he sent it, I do not know; but the Lord knew that we needed +help. More than this, the vicar of the adjoining parish, who used to be +very friendly with me in my unconverted days, but who had declared his +opposition pretty freely since that time, sent me a letter one Sunday +morning by private hand, to be delivered to me personally. This I duly +received, but expecting that it was one of his usual letters, and +knowing that I had visited some persons in his parish who were anxious, +I thought I would not open it until Monday, and so placed it on the +mantelpiece. A friend who happened to come in, noticing it there, said, +"I see you have a letter from the Prebendary; I dare say he is angry +with you." + +"I suppose he is," I said; "but it will keep till tomorrow; and I do not +care to be troubled with his thoughts to-day." + +"Oh, do let me open it," said my visitor; "I shall not be here +to-morrow, and I should like to hear what he has to say." + +With my consent he opened it and read, "Dear old Haslam, you have done +more good in that part of my parish where you are working, in a few +weeks, than I have done for years. I enclose you a cheque for the amount +of tithes coming from there. The Lord bless you more and more! Pray for +me!" + +It was a cheque for thirty-seven pounds. The next morning I went over to +see my old friend newly-found, and to thank him in person for his +generous gift. Poor man, I found him very low and depressed, and quite +ready and willing that I should talk and pray with him. I sincerely hope +that he became changed before I left the neighbourhood, but I never +heard that he declared himself. + +By this time, while I was still in Tregoney, Mr. Aitken had found his +way to the village where my family were lodging, and he was preaching at +the church with his usual power and effect. Night after night souls were +awakened and saved. The vicar's wife was in a towering rage of +opposition. Poor woman! she declared that she "would rather go to Rome +than be converted ;" and to Rome she went, but remained as worldly as +ever. + +It matters very little whether unconverted people join the Church of +Rome or not; they are sure to be lost for ever if they die in their +unconverted state: for nothing avails for eternal salvation but faith in +the Lord Jesus Christ. + + +CHAPTER 30 + +Secessions, 1856. + +After mission which Mr. Aitken had held, people came out so decidedly, +that the vicar and curate, who had all along kept aloof, doubting, fell +back into a kind of revulsion, and began to read and lend Romish books. +Eventually, they themselves decided to join the Church of Rome. Whether +they were ever really converted or not, I cannot tell. I thought and +hoped they were, but they seldom stood out on the Lord's side. They +certainly had light, and may have had some experience. At any rate, they +chose such a harlot as the Church of Rome for the object of their love, +instead of Christ Himself. + +I loved the curate. He was the man who had the unopened letter in his +desk,* of which he harboured such a dread. Sad to say, he ended by +falling away at last. Poor man! he went over to Rome, and never held up +his head any more. Evidently disappointed, and ashamed to come back, he +lingered on for some months, and then died. + +____________________ + +* See page 256. +_________________ + +Not long after his secession, we accidentally met in a quiet lane, in +another part of the county, where I was walking for meditation. Perhaps +he was led there for the same purpose. Meeting so unexpectedly, there +was no opportunity to evade one another. I felt a trembling come over me +at seeing him, and he was none the less moved. We held each other's +hands in silence, till at last I said, "How are you? I love you still." + +"I cannot stand it!" he said; and snatching his hand out of mine, he ran +away. + +I never saw him again, but mourned for him till he died. I cannot help +thinking that he is safe, and that he died in a faith more scriptural +than that of the Church of Rome. + +Why do men secede; and break their own hearts, and the hearts of those +who love them? Rome seems to cast a kind of spell upon the conscience, +fascinating its victims much as the gaze of the serpent is said to hold +a bird, till it falls into its power; or as a light attracts a moth, +till it flies into it, to its own destruction. Such seceders mourn and +dread the step; pray about it, think and think, till they are bewildered +and harassed; and then, in a fit of desperation, go off to some Romish +priest to be received. A man who had an honourable position, a work and +responsibility, suddenly becomes a nonentity, barely welcomed, and +certainly suspected. + +Romish people compass sea and land to make proselytes; and after they +have gained them, they are afraid of them, for their respective +antecedents are so different, that it is impossible for them to think +together. They get the submission of a poor deluded pervert, but he gets +nothing in return from them but a fictitious salvation. They gain him; +but he was lost the kind regard and sympathy of friends he had before, +and with it all that once was dear to him; and he voluntarily forfeits +all this upon the bare self-assertion of a system which claims his +implicit obedience. The poor pervert is required to give over his will, +his conscience, and his deepest feelings to the keeping of his so-called +"priest" or to the Church, and is expected to go away unburdened and at +peace. Some there are, it is true, who actually declare that they have +peace by this means; but what peace it is, and of what kind, I know not. + +Supposing that I was in debt and anxiety, and a man who had no money, +but plenty of assurance and brass, came to me and sympathized in my +trouble, saying, "Do not fear---trust me; I will bear your burden, and +pay off your debt"--if the manner of the man was sufficiently assuring, +it would lift up the cloud of anxiety and distress; but, for all that, +the penniless man would net, and could not, pay my debt. I might fancy +he had done so or would do so; and then, when it was too late, the debt, +with accumulated interest, would fall on me, to my over-whelming ruin, +even though I had been ever so free from anxiety before. So it is with +these deluded ones, who go to the priest instead of to Christ, and take +his absolution instead of Christ's forgiveness. + +Any one who carefully reads the Word of God may see that the Church of +Rome has no such priesthood as she claims, nor power to forgive sins, as +she professes to do. The whole supposition is based on a +misunderstanding of the text, "Whose soever sins ye remit, they are +remitted unto them; and whosesoever sins ye retain, they are retained" +(John 20:23). + +The disciples (some of them not apostles) who received this commission +or privilege, never understood that they were by these words (men and +women together) empowered to be absolving priests. Even the very +apostles never knew that they had any such power; and it is certain they +never exercised it. They were perfectly innocent of being priests after +the Romish type, and never dreamed of offering a propitiatory sacrifice. +They simply believed that Christ had completed the work of propitiation +once for all; and that there is now no more sacrifice for sin--that +Christ only can forgive sins. Therefore in the words of St. John we are +told, that "if any man sin (apostles and people alike), we have an +advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He is the +propitiation for our sins" (1 John 2:1, 2). + +The apostles and early Christians never understood that the power of the +keys meant the exercise of mere priestly authority, neither was the +doctrine known for several centuries after their time; therefore we may +be sure that the peace which perverts have, if it professes to come from +that source, is a delusion. No true remission or peace is, or can be +given, but by direct and personal transaction with Christ Himself. + +I am perfectly convinced that the Epistles to the Romans and the +Galatians are the answer to all the pretences of the Church of Rome, and +that a man who will not read and follow them deserves to be misled. God +is perfectly justified and clear on this point. + +During that winter six of my friends joined the Church of Rome. One I +have already told about, who died, I am sure, from grief and +disappointment.* Another became bigoted, and with a sullen, dogged +pertinacity, set himself to work for Rome, looking very miserable all +the time, although he used once to be happy in the Lord's work. The +others, without exception, went back into the world, and made no secret +of their conformity with it, its ways, and fashions. + +______________________ + +* See page 263. +________________________ + +This was a time of trouble in more respects than one. These secessions +to Rome brought great discredit upon the work, and especially on the +effort to promote Catholic truth, and higher Church life. I found my own +refuge and comfort was in working for God, and therefore went out on +mission work whenever and wherever I could. + +Early in the spring of this year I went on a mission to Worcestershire, +and there the Lord vouchsafed a great blessing, which has more or less +continued to this day; though I grieve to say the present vicar has no +sympathy with it. The work is still carried on in an Iron Room, out of +church hours, by people who continue to go to church. + +The vicar of that time asked me to go and visit a farmer's wife, who was +under deep conviction, and wished to see me. I did so, and as we +approached the door (which was open) the first thing we heard was this +individual saying, in a very high-pitched: voice, "Confound..." + +Seeing us, she suddenly stopped. "Go on with your text," said the vicar, +quietly, "'Confounded be all they that serve graven images;' is that +what you mean?" + +"No," she replied; "come in, I am so wretched that I don't know what to +do with myself; it has made me cross. Do come in and pray with me." + +We at once consented; and on pointing her to Jesus, she found peace. Not +content with praising God alone, she opened her house for a meeting for +the people in the neighbourhood. This being situated on the confines of +the parish, brought us into collision with the rector of the next +parish. He was most indignant at our coming (as he said), "to entice his +people away." + +I tried my best to conciliate this gentleman, but nothing would do, +particularly when he heard that I was thinking of settling down in the +district. This plan was however frustrated in an unexpected manner, and +I was not permitted to remain there. + +One day, when I was praying about the matter, a letter was put into my +hand from a lady who had been asking the Lord for nearly six months that +I might be appointed to her late husband's church. She had applied to +Lord Palmerston, who was the patron, and though she had received no +answer, yet she had continued to pray. + +At last there came a courteous letter from his: lordship, apologizing +for having delayed his reply, adding that he "had mislaid the +application of her, nominee; if she would oblige him with the name and +address of this person, the appointment should be made out immediately." +She gave my name and address, and sent his letter on to me. I +immediately wrote to his lordship, saying that I had not applied for the +living, nor did I want it; but, for all that, I received by return post +the nomination; and actually, it was to go back to the diocese of +Exeter! I did not think the Bishop would institute me, as I had +committed a great many irregularities since his lordship had taken off +my harness. But he did. + +Somehow I was unwilling to go to this living, but was put into it in +spite of myself. Here I had a good house, garden, and church, provided +for me, with so much a year. I wondered whether God was tired of me! He +had provided for me and my family during the past year wondrously, and I +began to like "living by faith," and trusting in Him only. I have great +doubts whether this appointment was altogether in accordance with God's +will. Anyway, I had very little success or liberty in preaching, and +could not settle down to work with any energy. + +In the beginning of the summer, as usual, I had my attack of hay fever, +which completely incapacitated me, in this place of much grass. If I +went to a town or the sea-side, it was well; but the moment I returned +to the country I was ill again. Altogether, it was a dull and +distressing time; but God was preparing me for a special work. + + + +CHAPTER 31 + +Hayle, 1857-58. + +While meditating upon my present position, and wondering what I was to +do next, I received an invitation to take charge of a district in +another part of the county, near the sea, which suited my health. Here +there was a large population, which gave scope for energetic action; +and, moreover, the people were careless and Godless, and, as such, were +not preoccupied with other systems. So I thought it was the very place +in which I could begin to preach, and go on to prove the power of the +Gospel. + +With the invitation, I received an exaggerated account of the wickedness +of the people, and was told that the thinking part of them leant towards +infidelity, and that some of them were actually banded together in an +infidel club. All this, however, did not deter me from going, but rather +stirred me up so much the more to try my lance against this gigantic +foe. I had learned before now to regard all difficulties in my work as +the Lord's, and not mine; and that, though they might be greater than I +could surmount, they were not too great for Him. + +There were two large iron factories here, besides shipping. Many of the +people employed were drawn from other parts of England, and were what +the Cornish call "foreigners." They had no love for chapel services, or +revivals, and no sympathy with Cornish views and customs; so not having +a church to go to, they were left pretty much to themselves. + +With this attractive sphere before me, I gave up my living and work in +the country, and accepted the curacy at l. 120 a year, with a house +rent-free. My rector was a dry Churchman, who had no sympathy with me; +but he seemed glad to get any one to come and work amongst such a rough, +and in some respects unmanageable, set. He had bought a chapel from the +Primitive Methodists for Divine service, and had erected schools for +upwards of three hundred children. These he offered me as my ground of +operation, promising, with a written guarantee, that if I succeeded, he +would build me a church, and endow it with all the tithes of that +portion of the parish. + +Here was a field of labour which required much prayer and tact, as well +as energetic action. In accordance with Scriptural teaching, "I +determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified." I made +up my mind that I would not begin by having temperance addresses for +drunkards, or lectures on the Evidences of Christianity for the infidel, +but simply with preaching the Gospel. + +One thing that simplified my work very much was the fact, that the +people were spiritually dead. I used to tell them, that in this free +country every man is accounted innocent till he is proved to be guilty, +but that in the Bible every man is guilty before God till he is +pardoned, and dead till he is brought to life. In one sense it does not +matter very much whether a man is an infidel, a drunkard, or anything +else, if he is dead in trespasses and sins. + +It is of very little consequence in what coloured raiment a corpse is +shrouded; it remains a corpse still. + +Taking this position positively, I avoided much religious controversy, +to the disappointment of many eager disputants, who longed to ventilate +their views. 'I told them plainly, that whether they were, right or +wrong, my business was with the salvation: of souls, and my one desire +was to rescue the lost: by bringing' them to Christ. + +Hitherto I had been to places where the Lord had previously prepared the +hearts of the people, and therefore it had been my joy to see a revival +spring up, as if spontaneously; that is, without the ordinary +preparation by the people of the place. These extraordinary +manifestations of God's power and love; and they showed me what He could +and do. Now that I was somewhat more intelligent on the subject, He sent +me forth to prepare and work for similar results. + +Hayle was to all appearances a very barren soil, and the people I had to +labour amongst were greater and mightier than myself. They already had +possession of the ground, and were perfectly content with their own way. +Moreover, they did not desire any change, and were ready even to resist +and oppose every effort which was designed to ameliorate their +condition, or to change their lives. In this undertaking I knew and +understood that without prayer and dependence upon God to work in me and +by me, my mission would be altogether unavailing, I therefore looked +about, and found some Christians who consented to unite in pleading for +an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. We agreed to pray in private, and also +met together frequently during the week for united prayer. Finding that +many of the petitions offered were vague and diffuse, I endeavoured to +set before those assembled a definite object of prayer. I told them that +the work was not ours but the Lord's, and that He was willing and ready +to accomplish it, but that He must be inquired of concerning the work of +His hands. Also, in order that our prayers should be intelligent and +united, I put before them the fact, that the people we had to work +amongst were lost; not that they would be lost by-and-by if they died in +their sins; but that they were actually lost now. It is true that many +were quite ignorant of the way of salvation, and were also unconscious +of the power of the enemy who held them captive; and besides, they loved +their captivity too well; but all this would be overcome in a moment, +when they were once enlightened by the Spirit (in answer to prayer) to +see and feel themselves lost. No one could be more ignorant than the +jailor at Philippi, but as soon as he was awakened he cried out, "What +must I do to be saved?" (Acts 16:30). + +I showed them that the work we had to do was clearly set forth in +Scripture (Acts 26:18), and that the order in which it was to be done +was also made manifest. We must not begin with giving instruction as if +the people were merely ignorant; but rather by awakening or opening +their eyes to see that they were in a lost and ruined condition. Then +they would appreciate being turned "from darkness to light, and from the +power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins" +(Acts 26:18). I strove earnestly to show them that until people had +received forgiveness of sins, our work was not complete. We made this +our definite aim, and prayed about it with clear expectation. Under the +shadow and influence of this prayer, I began to preach to the people; +not to believe, but to awake and see their lost condition; that is, to +repent, that they might believe the Gospel. + +At first there were very few people in my congregation, but by degrees +more came, and listened attentively to the Word. After preaching for +four or five Sundays, I asked the people during my sermon, what in the +world they were made of; for I was surprised at them! They came and +listened to God's truth, and yet did not yield themselves to Him. "Are +you wood, or leather, or stone? What are your hearts made of, that God's +love cannot touch or His Word break them?" I then invited the anxious to +remain for an after-meeting, when I said that I would converse with them +more familiarly; but they every one went away. + +I returned to the vestry,' feeling somewhat dejected, but still hoping +for better days. As I opened the door to go home, two men ran away like +frightened boys, but it was too dark for me to distinguish who they +were. + +That next morning it came to my mind that I must go round to the people +and ask them what they were thinking about? I had done so from the +pulpit; now I would go from house to house and do the same. I went first +to the school, and finding that several children were absent, I took +their names and determined to go after them, in the hope of reaching +their parents. + +The first house I called at was a mistake, and yet it was not. I knocked +at the door, and said, "Does Mrs. W-- live here?" + +The woman who opened it said, "No, she lives next door." + +I apologized for disturbing her, and was going away, when she said, +"Will you not come in for a few minutes?" I assented, and going in, took +a seat. Then I asked her name, and whether she went to church. + +She replied, "To be sure I do. Don't you see me there every Sunday?" + +"Then," I said, "did you hear my question last evening." + +"Yes," she said, "but I was afraid, and ashamed to stay behind. But I do +wish to be saved; I have been wretched for more than a week." + +It was very easy to lead to the Saviour of sinners one whose heart was +so prepared. She soon found peace, and became one of my most useful and +steadiest helpers. + +Her neighbour next door, was by no means so ready to receive the truth, +and I had to supply another argument altogether. Eventually, she also +found peace in believing; though not for some weeks. + +From this house, I visited several others, and in all of them had +serious dealing with individuals about their 'souls' salvation. Then I +set off to see a man I had often observed in church; having noticed the +anxious look with which he always regarded me during the sermon. I found +him at home, and, on entering his house, he said, at once, "I know what +you are come for. Wait a little, sir, please to sit down;" and before I +had time to say a word, he went upstairs. In a few minutes he returned, +with a shilling in his hand. "There," he said, "there it is; that is my +contribution for the Indian Mutiny Fund." + +I thanked him for his offering, and promised that it should be given to +the treasurer. "But," I added, "to tell the truth, I have not come about +that, but to see you. I want to speak to you about your soul." + +He sat down, looking, as I thought, most unhappy. Then he said,--"Last +night my mate and I made up our minds to speak to you in the vestry; +but, just as we were coming to the door, you opened it, and we ran +away." + +"Yes," I said, "I heard you." + +"Well, after that, we came home, and prayed the Lord to send you to us: +and here you are!" + +"Thank God for the answer to prayer. Now then, what can I do for you?" + +He told me that he was born of respectable parents in Germany; but that, +for his bad ways and bad habits, they had sent him to this country to +work for his bread; that he had taken the pledge several times, and +broken it again and again, though he had prayed and done all he could +think of; but it was to no propose. + +"If you had stayed last night," I said, "I might have helped you. How +did you come to break your pledge?" + +"Oh," he said, "it came to my mind that when I signed, I was only +thinking of beer and spirits, not wine; so I took some, and it flew to +my head; and soon I was as bad as ever." + +"Now," I said, "you have renounced wine and all; have you?" + +"Yes, I have." + +"Well then, will you give your heart to God also?" + +In course of conversation it came out, that this man's first impressions +were effected some years before, by a dream, or vision of Christ on the +cross. He was passing by, but, somehow, turned to look at it; when, to +his surprise, he saw that the eyes of the figure were looking at him. As +he approached, the figure appeared to be standing on the ground, and +beckoning, when a sudden fear came over him; he stopped, and the vision +faded away. Ever since that time, he had felt that Jesus was the Friend +he needed; and that nothing less would satisfy him. + +Unfortunately, too many, like this man, stop at a critical point of +their history; and, often, the crisis is not prolonged for them, as it +was for him. + +A long time ago there was a sinner arrested by a similar vision. He +says, in a hymn which he wrote, giving a description of it:-- + +"I saw One hanging on a tree, +In agony and blood, +Who fixed His languid eyes on me +As near the cross I stood." + +He continues, + +"My conscience felt and owned its guilt;" and when he did so, he +received a second look, which spoke forgiveness to him, as distinctly as +the first look brought him under conviction. + +I charged this man to make his surrender, and to own or acknowledge +himself the sinner for whom Jesus died. On doing so, he obtained +forgiveness and peace, and has since, by grace, been enabled to live a +happy, consistent, and devoted life, and has been a blessing to many +souls. No sooner had he found the Saviour, than immediately he began to +plead for and with his friend James. I know not what passed between +them; but that same evening he brought him to me with a heart prepared +to receive Christ. We had only to point him to Jesus, and encourage him +to thank God, when he realized the truth in his own experience. + +So that Monday I rejoiced over five people brought to the Lord; and then +the work began in real earnest. Every week after that, remarkable +conversions took place, besides many ordinary ones. Some of these, +including the one just mentioned, are described at length in tracts, and +are also published in a volume entitled "Building from the Top, and +other Stories;" but, notwithstanding this, a brief allusion to them in +this narrative may not be out of place, being so particularly connected +with the work here. + +A woman called me into her cottage one morning as I was passing by, and +told me of her son, a steady young man, though still unconverted, for +whom she had prayed continually ever since his birth. She said, when he +was a very little child, she heard him one night sobbing and praying in +his room--"O Lord, save me up for a good boy!" She thought this was in +answer to her supplication; but as he grew up he became thoughtless and +careless, like too many others of his age. + +"Some five or six months ago," she said, "he had a dream or vision, and +saw you so plainly that he pointed you out to me, among other clergymen, +and said, 'Mother, that man is to be our minister one I saw him a little +time ago, in a dream, as plainly as I see him now; I know that is the +man.' We did not know who you were then, or where you came from, and +never saw you again till you came lately to this parish to be our +minister. + +"Last night," continued the mother, "after he returned from church, my +William was very unhappy and restless; and in the night I heard him +crying and praying aloud for mercy, in great distress. He told me this +morning, when I asked him about it, that he dreamt that the last day was +come, and that the world was on fire: and he began immediately to try to +pray, but could not; yet he went on trying till he heard some one laugh +out at him, and say, 'Ho! ho! my boy, you are too late!--ho! ho!--too +late! I have got you now---you are too late!' This frightened him so +much that he woke up, and getting out of bed, began on his knees to pray +in earnest for the Lord to have mercy on his soul." + +Being much interested in the young man, I begged her to send him to me +in the evening. She did so; and when he arrived I frankly told him what +I had heard about him, and particularly about his distress and prayer +the night before. + +"Your mother has prayed for you for years; and when you were a little +boy you prayed the Lord to save you: last night, again, you were +constrained to cry for mercy. These are all tokens of God's good +intentions and purposes towards you. Can you trust Him?" As he hesitated +(for so many like to feel something before they make the venture of +faith), I continued, "These tokens are better than feelings, for they +are facts and sure signs by which you may know that the Lord is calling +you." + +We may well understand that it was not long before the Lord, who had so +marvellously opened his eyes to see his sins, enabled him by the same +Spirit to see Jesus as His Saviour, and to rejoice in the forgiveness of +his sins. Then I asked him to sit down again, for I was curious to hear +about the dream or vision which he had had some months before he ever +saw me. + +"William," I said, "did you ever see me before I came to this parish?" + +"Yes," he replied, "I saw you once in a vision, more than six months +ago!" + +"Do you mind telling me about it?" + +After a little hesitation, he answered, "I often dream things. One night +I dreamt that I was walking on a wild barren common; there were many +bare places where people had cut turf, and there were prickly +furze-bushes about. I knew there were some did open mine-shafts there, +for people sometimes fell into them at night; but I was walking along +without thinking of danger, and was not afraid, though it was dark, and +I was alone. I don't know how long I went on like this, but next I found +I was walking with you. I could see you very plainly, just as if it had +not been dark, and you were talking about Jesus and His love to sinners. +I liked your words very much, and was so taken up with them that I do +not know when it became light; for now I could see the rough common, and +a path, and we were walking in it. Going along this path, we came to a +wall, and I could not go any further; but you walked on as if there were +no wall. Presently you stopped, and, turning to me, said, 'Why don't you +come on?' + +"I answered, 'I cannot.'" + +"Why not?" + +"Because there is a wall here." + +"No," you said, "there is no wall--it is an open door." + +"I was surprised at you saying that, for I feel the wall and see it." + +"What would you do if there was no wall? Do that. It is not a wall, but +a door," you said; "walk forward!" + +"When I ventured forward I found your were true. It was, indeed, an open +way, leading into a beautiful garden. I was very happy, and said, 'Whose +garden is this?' + +"You answered, 'It is the Lord's, and you are to dress it and work in +it." + +"Then I saw the Lord Himself. He came forward, and bidding me welcome, +said that you should teach me for three years. Then I awoke." + +From this extraordinary narration I gathered three things for myself. + +First, that God intended me to come to this place. +Secondly, that I was to labour here for three years. +Thirdly, that I was to teach the people not to wait for feelings, but to +act upon the Word of God. + +This last intimation was so clearly signified by William's dream, that +it came upon me with striking force. I had been speaking on this very +subject more than once, and had ventured so far as to say that I thought +this delusion about waiting for feelings was from the devil, to hinder +the work of God in the soul. It certainly did hinder us, very much; and, +moreover, it was most distressing to see people, who were manifestly +impressed under the power of a present God, waiting for Him; because +they did not feel some token, which they had set their minds upon. Day +by day souls were being given in the Church, and also in the cottage +meetings; so that I could not help seeing that the Lord had begun to use +me again. Some came to the meetings who had been awakened under the +ordinary preaching of the Gospel; some because others brought them; and +some out of curiosity. One of the latter cases I will mention. + +A married woman, N. R--, heard people talking of the work which was +going on. It seemed to her to be such a strange thing in connection with +a Church minister, that she came to a cottage meeting to judge for +herself, without the remotest idea of being converted. God's ways are +not as ours; while she was listening, the word reached her with power, +so that she was convicted and converted, and came out of that cottage a +rejoicing believer, lost in wonder, love and praise. She was indeed +strikingly and manifestly changed, and did not hide it. It was such a +joy and surprise to her that she could not help telling every one. Out +of the abundance of her heart her lips spoke to tell of the loving +kindness of the Lord. + + +CHAPTER 32 + +Bible Readings, 1858-59. + +The church (so-called) in which I now ministered had been built by +persons who intended to accommodate the largest number of people for the +smallest amount of money. It was scantily built, and almost square, with +galleries on three sides. On the remaining one there used to be a +pulpit, conspicuously placed in the middle of the wall. This important +portion of the edifice was now removed to one side, to make room for a +Communion table, the seats in front being arranged chancel-wise, facing +one another, for the choir. This was quite a damper to my ecclesiastical +tastes; besides being ugly in the extreme. + +I tried by putting ornamental scrolls over the windows, and by staining +the glass in them, to make some improvement. I also painted a diaper +pattern round the side walls; and upon the high blank wall behind the +Communion table exercised all the skill I possessed, but fear it was +somewhat in vain, though I laboured hard. The designs looked very well +on paper, but when displayed on the wall gave no satisfaction; so one +after another they disappeared, till my dissolving views, as they were +called, ended in a large floriated cross of gold, with a monogram +inter-twined in it, on a dark background. + +When once, however, the Lord began to bless the Word, and souls were +awakened, despite all anti-ecclesiastical appearances, my heart was +drawn towards the ugly place, and I loved it greatly. I could never have +believed that my former tastes and tendencies could have been so +completely changed as they were. + +In those days it was a strange thing to hold an after-meeting in a +church; it was never done, even by the few who had such meetings. +Therefore, I took the anxious ones and others to my own house for the +inquiry meeting, after the evening service. Having taken up the carpet +in the drawing-room, we fitted it up with chairs and forms to +accommodate ninety people, while half as many more occupied the hall, +and often numbers stood outside the windows. In this house it pleased +God to give us very many souls, who were brought in week by week for +several months. I believe every room in that house, like the rooms at +Baldhu Parsonage, was consecrated as the birth-place of one or more of +God's children. + +The number of those who attended the after-meeting became so great, that +we found it necessary to go to the large schoolroom. This place will +also be remembered in eternity, and many a soul will say of it, "I was +born there!" + +One night, when I returned home from a distant meeting, I was called to +see a person in Feat distress of soul. As I went down the street at +eleven o'clock, I was surprised to see lights in almost all the houses, +and what was more, to hear voices in urgent and importunate prayer, as +also the voice of thanks-giving. The whole street was alive, and indeed +there was a most "joyful noise" on every side. I was praying or +rejoicing in one house or another all through the night, which was one +never to be forgotten. + +A glorious work of salvation was going on without the extravagant noise +and excitement we used to have in former years. I was exceedingly +thankful for this also, and began next to consider what was to be done +with these new converts. Besides inviting them to the church services, +for which they needed no pressing, I urged them to read their Bibles at +home, bidding them to mark any passages where they wished for +explanation, that I might have something good and profitable to speak +about when I visited them. Then I invited them to Bible-classes; instead +of to experience meetings, which Cornish people rely upon so much. On +these occasions I endeavoured to instruct the people from God's Word, +and put Christ before them as the object of faith, hope, and love. After +prayer I encouraged them to ask questions, which made these gatherings +interesting and also instructive on the very points upon which they +required information. + +I found that these Bible-classes were a great blessing to those who +attended them, but more than all, perhaps, to myself; watering other +souls with the water of life I was more abundantly watered. The +questions of the people drew my attention to distinctions and +differences I had not noticed before, and helped to take off the +coloured glasses through which I had hitherto read the Word. + +I observed that the third, sixth, and twentieth chapters of St. John's +Gospel had been held and interpreted by me in a way that I now saw to be +altogether wrong. I had taken the first of these as bearing on Baptism, +the second on the Holy Communion, and the third on Priestly Absolution. + +I pondered much over these chapters, and marvelled how they could have +been so diverted from their original and obvious meaning; and, more +wonderful still, that countless millions in Christendom had so received +them for many generations. It was a bold thing, and seemingly +presumptuous to suppose that I was right and all Christendom wrong; but +I soon found that mine was no new discovery, and that if millions who +followed traditions without comparing them with the Bible, thought on +one side, there were also millions who did read their Bibles, and +thought on the other. + +It was perfectly clear, moreover, that one obvious motive or policy had +dictated the false application of the three chapters. It will be +observed that priest rule is established in them; for, according to this +teaching, no one can enter the kingdom of God 'without priestly +operation in baptism; no one abide or be fed in it without the same in +Holy Communion; nor any one receive absolution from sin, and final +release from hell to heaven, apart from sacerdotal action. + +On the other hand, I saw spiritual men, as sure as they were of their +own existence that their new birth took place, not at baptism, but at +their conversion. Therefore they were convinced that the third chapter +of St. John, in which our Lord's conversation with Nicodemus is +recorded, refers to that spiritual change which takes place at +conversion, and not to baptism, which was not even instituted for two or +three years afterwards (Matt. 28:19). + +Again, as to the sixth chapter. A spiritual man knows that he feeds +continually on the body and blood of Christ, it is the "Bread which came +down from heaven" for him. The Lord said, "He that eateth Me, even he +shall live by Me" (John 6:57). They know how they received spiritual +life, and also how it is continually maintained; therefore they could +not allow themselves to be carried away with such a palpable fiction as +transubstantiation, or any other doctrine kindred to it. The sixth +chapter does not refer to the Lord's supper, but the Lord's Supper +refers to the reality which is mentioned in it. + +Lastly, as to the twentieth chapter of St. John, on the authority of +which it is supposed and asserted that Christ left power with His Church +and priests to forgive sins. Of this we may say, He has not delegated +any such powers at all. When He gave commissions to His disciples (not +exclusively to the apostles), He said, "Lo, I am with you." Our power is +not imparted to us from Him, but is in Him. We have no power at all, but +in Him, and no grace but 'that which is in Christ Jesus (2 Tim. 2:1). It +is His presence, His real, promised presence by the Holy Ghost, which is +spiritual power; and this is given directly to individuals by God +Himself, and is not transmitted through other channels. + +The Lord Jesus, on His resurrection day, said to His disciples, in the +upper room--and, be it remembered, that all the eleven were not there +(and some women may have been)--"Peace be unto you. Receive ye the Holy +Ghost: Whose soever sins ye remit, 'they are remitted unto them; and +whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained" (John 20:23). + +Is it possible or reasonable to suppose that our Lord intended by these +words to constitute all that assembly absolving priests? The apostles +and early Christians (both men and women) never thought so, either +before or even after the day of Pentecost, when they were taught and led +by the Holy Ghost. The apostles did not exercise any so-called priestly +functions; they all preached the Gospel, and as ministers and witnesses, +declared, through Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins. Their testimony +was then, as such testimony will ever be, the savour of life or the +savour of death. It was thus they remitted and retained sins; and yet +not they, but God by them. + +While I was thus ruminating, a book came into my hands which interested +me greatly. This I read and re-read, and made an abstract of it. It was +the "Life of Adelaide Newton." What struck me in it so much was, to find +that this lady was able to hold spiritual communion with God by means of +a Bible only. Is it possible, I thought, to have such close communion +with God, apart from the Church and her ministrations? I do not hesitate +to say that this was the means, under God, of stripping off some remains +of my grave-clothes, and enabling me to walk in spiritual liberty, +instead of legal and sacramental bond age. + +Human reasoning would say, "What, then, is the use of ministry and +sacraments? Let us dispense with them, and be independent of them +altogether." This is no better than saying that we will continue in sin +that grace may abound; and the same answer which the apostle gives will +do for this also: "God forbid!" + +It does not follow, because some people make too much of ministry and +sacraments, making them absolutely necessary to salvation, that we +should, on the other hand, disregard them. There is another and happier +alternative, and that is, to realize they were made for us, not we for +them; therefore we should not be subject to them, but rather they should +be subject to us, and be used by us, not in order to obtain God's grace +and salvation, but to show that we have already done so. In our +obedience to God's ordinances, we acknowledge our allegiance to Him, and +our submission to His will. + +For fear that my people should go off, as too many do, into disregard of +the "means of grace," because sacramental people make too much of them, +I began a class for exposition and explanation of the Prayer-book. I +commenced by showing them that the Church of England is the Lord's +candlestick in this country, not the candle, and certainly not the +light, but the candlestick which the Lord set up here, possibly even as +'early as the days of the apostles, to show the true light, which is +Christ. And though, Romish corruptions supervened, it pleased God, at; +the time of the Reformation, to raise up men to deliver us from them, +and to restore true Bible teaching. + +Thus I endeavoured to show them, that the system of the Church of +England was one which should commend itself to their regard, as quite +agreeable to Scripture; and if it is not carried out according to its +intention, that is not the fault of the system, but rather of those who +administer it. Next, as to worship. + +The object of our assembling in the house of God is not, I said, so much +to hear sermons, or get instruction, as in Bible, or other classes, but +rather "to render thanks for the great benefits we have received at +God's hands, to set forth His most worthy praise, to hear His most holy +word, and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary as well +for the body as the soul." That worship is devotion towards God; it +consists more in giving than in getting. Some of the people were greatly +interested when I pointed out to them, that the order of our Service was +exactly the same as the order of theft spiritual experience, in +conviction, conversion, and Christian life. + +For example, the Morning Service begins with a sentence such as, "To the +Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled +against Him;" then comes the exhortation, which moves us to surrender +ourselves; then the confession, which is the act of surrender. +Immediately after this is declared the absolution and forgiveness of +sins, "to all who truly repent, and unfeignedly believe the Gospel." + +Then comes the Lord's Prayer, which leads us, at once, into the place of +children, accepted in the Beloved: then follow acts of thanksgiving":-- + +"Open Thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Thy praise." + +"Oh, come let us sing unto the Lord, let us heartily rejoice in the +strength of our salvation." + +These, and such-like explanations, helped to enlist the interest of the +people; and when, as before, they only used to endure the prayers, while +waiting for the sermon, now they engaged in them intelligently, and even +with more delight than in extempore prayer. + +As to the Communion Service I bade them notice that it begins with the +Lord's Prayer, in which we draw near to our Father, not as sinners, but +as His children; asking for a clean heart and for grace to live +according to His will; then, we approach the table, unworthy, indeed, to +take even the crumbs under it, but trusting in His mercy. We do not go +there to offer a sacrifice of Christ's body, but of our own as a +thanksgiving to God, offering and presenting ourselves--spirit, soul, +and body--a living sacrifice to His service. + +Every week we took some subject from the Prayer-book, noticing the +special seasons in their order, such as Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, +Lent, Easter, Ascension, and Whitsuntide, each with their respective +teaching. + +I was now happy in my work; but it did not, of course, go on as sweetly +as the theory sets it forth. We made, however, as straight a course as +we could, under contending winds and currents. The intelligent part of +my congregation, however interested they were in the work outside the +church and the worship within, nevertheless, had their misgivings and +doubts which they did not hide. They said, "This teaching seems all true +and scriptural; but what will become of us if you go away, and another +man comes who thinks otherwise? We have no security as in the chapels, +that conversion work will go on, and living souls be fed and encouraged. +Very few churches have such a work as the Lord is doing here!" + +This, indeed, was the sad part of working in the Church of England then. +Even still, there is much discouragement on this head; and too many +living souls, who would not willingly go, are driven away from their own +Church, to seek teaching in other communions; but they cannot take their +children and servants to witness priestly ceremonials, or to hear +sacramental, as opposed to spiritual teaching; neither can they +conscientiously give countenance to these things, by going themselves. + +However, I endeavoured to pacify the people by begging them to be +thankful for present privileges, and to trust God to lead them for the +future. + +It is an awful thing to see and know that people come for bread, and get +a stone; for fish, and they get a serpent; and for an egg, they are +offered a scorpion (Luke 11:11, 12). Exceedingly trying it is to be +frowned upon by clerical brethren in the presence of Dissenters, who, to +say the least, do know the difference between life and death. In one +church we have the service elaborately rendered, and the sermon is +nothing; in another the sermon is everything, and the service most +slovenly; and, too often, souls remain unawakened, and perishing on all +sides. + + +CHAPTER 33 + +The Work Continued, 1859. + +While I was at Hayle, I had so much to do among the people, and so many +meetings, that I seldom had leisure to go out for preaching elsewhere; +nor do I remember that I had many invitations to do so. Occasionally I +went to preach at Penzance, where a good work was steadily progressing +at St. Paul's Church; but otherwise. I seldom left my pulpit. + +Everything was now going on in a way which satisfied me, after all my +tossings to and fro. I was surrounded with a happy people, who were +living and working for the Lord. All the week they were busy, and also +on the watch for souls. On Sunday they came regularly to church, with an +intelligent idea of worship, and joined heartily in the services of the +day. At eight o'clock in the morning they assembled in large numbers for +the Holy Communion; then we had the usual morning and evening services +in the church, concluding with a prayer meeting. In the afternoon we had +something else. There was the Sunday school for some of our workers; +tract distribution for others: many went out to preach in the villages; +and others went with me either to the sands, the common, or on board +some ship, for an evangelistic service. The day of rest was not one of +inactivity, but of useful and happy occupation for the Lord. Many a +former Sabbath-breaker, now changed and rejoicing in God, was amongst +us, delighting in the Christian privilege of working for the Master. It +was a day that many of them looked forward to and spent with intense +delight; and on Monday evening we met to tell what we had seen and heard +of the Lord's goodness to ourselves and others. + +Whenever the good ship "Cornwall" was in harbour, it was expected there +would be a preaching on "board of her," under the well-known Bethel +flag. The mate of this vessel had been a terribly wicked man, and a most +daring blasphemer. It pleased God to convert his soul in a remarkable +manner; and now nothing would do but he must work for God. + +One Sunday, when he was at Cardiff, he heard that a vessel which had +left that port on the previous Friday morning had gone down with all +hands. He was greatly grieved about this; for one of the seamen of the +vessel was in former times a friend and companion of his. He had prayed +for his soul, but hitherto without any success, and this added to his +grief. To his amazement, he saw his friend standing on the quay. +"Hallo!" he said, "I am glad to see you. How is it you are here? Have +you heard that your vessel has gone down with all hands?" + +"Has she, indeed!" he exclaimed, bursting out into tears; "then it is +all my fault, for I let her go short-handed. After we set sail I had +words with the captain, so he dismissed me, and I came back in the pilot +boat. It is all my fault!" + +"This is the third time, then, that the Lord has given you your life," +said Sam. + +"You had better call on Him to have mercy on your soul." So saying, he +fell on his knees, and began to pray for him. His companion soon +followed, crying aloud for mercy. Though a crowd of people quickly +assembled and stood round, he took no heed, but continued his +supplication until he obtained mercy, and could praise God. + +Seeing that some of the by-standers were looking anxious, Sam invited +them on board his ship and had a meeting, at which he told them how the +Lord had saved his soul. Having received much encouragement that day, he +determined, if possible, that he would get a Bethel flag, and hold +services whenever and wherever he could. + +On his arrival at Hayle from Cardiff, he went at once to see the wife of +the owner of the ship, knowing that she took a great interest in the +welfare of sailors. He told her his plans, and made his request for a +Bethel flag, which this lady kindly and generously gave him permission +to get. + +On obtaining it, Sam came and asked me if I would preach at the first +hoisting of it. This I consented to do, and on the following Sunday +afternoon we had a large concourse of people on board, and also on the +quay alongside. I gave out the hymn:-- + +"O God of Bethel, by whose hand +Thy people still are fed." + +While I was giving it out, Sam ran his flag up to the masthead in the +shape of a ball. So it remained while we were singing; and during the +prayer which followed; and when I gave out my text (Gen. 28:19), "He +called the name of that place Bethel," Sam pulled the halyard, and the +flag, some eighteen or twenty feet long, 'flew out in all its grandeur. +Before the sermon was finished, some of the people began to cry for +mercy, and dear Sam was in an ecstasy of delight, and rejoiced aloud. +'Thus his flag was inaugurated with blessing from on high, and "Many is +the time since," said 3am, "when souls have been blessed under it, both +at Cardiff and at Hayle." + +I have said nothing about the infidels I had to work amongst when I +first came to this place. Some of them raged and opposed themselves +against us for a time, but one by one the ringleaders of this party were +brought to God, and eventually their club dwindled away. The history +concerning some I have already published in tracts; but there is one +case I feel I must insert here, for besides being a remarkable history, +there is much teaching in it. + +It is the story of a man who professed to be an infidel, and used to +speak very freely of things which he said he did not believe. For +instance, he boasted that he did not believe in God or the Bible, Christ +or devil, heaven or hell; though I must say he seemed to believe in +himself very considerably. It was very difficult to deal with a man who +took his stand upon nothing but negatives. He was well known among his +neighbours, dreaded by some and quite a mystery to others. He was +continually to be seen about with a gun, especially on Sundays, when he +was not ashamed to be thus desecrating God's holy day; on the contrary, +he rather prided himself on not "shifting" his working-day clothes, when +other people were dressed in their best. + +It was sad to see a man of such intelligence and capacity defying public +respect and opinion, and trampling upon every sense of right and +propriety. There is generally a reason, if we can only discover it, why +people outrage public opinion, and break out of the stream and path of +their fellow-men. + +One Sunday evening, however, after a day spent as usual, in idling about +and shooting little birds, our friend John was observed by a woman +standing outside a church, under the window nearest to the pulpit. He +stood there, listening very attentively to the sermon, till it was over; +and then, before the congregation could come out, he made off stealthily +and hastily, to escape observation. But passing near the woman who had +been watching him, she heard him say, with a look of distress on his +countenance, "It's no use--the devil's sure to have me! It doesn't +matter!" + +This woman told me on Monday morning what she had seen and heard; so I +determined to go at once and see the man. It was not his dinner-time +yet; but I thought I would have a little conversation with his wife +before he came home. To my surprise, however, I found him there. "What, +not working today, John?" I said. "What's the matter?" + +"I ain't very well," he answered. "I got no sleep last night; but I mean +to work in the afternoon, for all that," he continued, with an air of +determination and defiance. + +"What's the matter? Have you got anything on your mind?" I inquired. + +"Mind?" he repeated, as if in contempt at the thought. "There is not +much that ever troubles my mind." He then went on to give me a long +account of his bodily ailments. + +"But do you never think about your soul, John?" I asked; "never think +about another world and eternity?" + +"Soul and eternity! I don't believe in either the one or the other of +them!" + +"Not believe you have a soul! Come, John, I am sure you know better than +that." And I went on to speak of the joys of heaven and the bitter +torments of hell; of the love of God, who willeth not the death of the +sinner, but rather that he should turn and live; and then I proceeded to +tell him of the atonement which Jesus Christ finished on the cross, and +that now there is pardon for the vilest sinner through the efficacy of +the blood which has been shed once for all. + +"You know, John," I continued, "that I do not care to argue about these +things. There is mercy for you, if you will have it. We can bring water +to the horses, but we cannot make them drink. My business is to put the +way of pardon and salvation plainly before you; and after that, if you +reject it, it will be your own fault if you perish. Do you know how to +get forgiveness of sins?" + +He seemed very uneasy all the time I was speaking; and at length, after +a pause, he looked me in the face with a hardened expression, and said, +"There's no pardon for me--I know it." + +"That cannot be," I said; "I do not believe it." + +"No," he continued, "there's no pardon for me. I have known that for +fourteen years." I inwardly resolved to get this dreadful secret from +him, which was driving him to such evident desperation. A few days +afterwards an opportunity occurred, and I pressed upon him for his own +sake to tell me, or some one else, what had happened fourteen years ago; +and what special communication he had had with another world. + +"Oh," he said, "I never told anybody; but I would as soon tell you as +any one else. I had a dream once---do you ever have dreams? I have many +things told me in dreams." Then he was silent; but I was more curious +than ever now, and begged him to tell me what had happened. At last he +began, "I dreamt that I was walking along a broad smooth road, where +everything was most lovely; the weather was fine, and the scenery grand; +there were beautiful gardens, churches, chapels, theatres, houses, and +indeed everything you could think of. The people all seemed to be +delighting in it, and as though they were out for a holiday. Some were +walking, some singing, some dancing, and in one way or the other they +all appeared to be enjoying themselves beyond bounds. Seeing a workman +in a field close by, I called to him, and asked 'Where does this road +lead to?' He answered, 'To hell, straight on; you cannot miss!' 'Hell!' +I was surprised; 'Hell,' I said to myself, 'this is very different to +what I thought. Is the way to hell as pleasant as this? and are people +so unconcerned about it?' I was amazed; but though the man told me this +pleasant road led to hell, I did not stop; I went on and on, seemingly +as pleased as others were. However, it did not continue like this long, +for soon I came to a rough part, all up and down, where the atmosphere +was thick and sulphury, and it was almost dark. I did not like it, and +wished very much to get out of the place, but I could not. + +"Seeing some people in the distance, I went near to ask them the way +out. They were busy with long rakes raking cinders about on the dry +ground, and would not answer my urgent inquiries. As I approached them I +saw that they did not look like 'humans,' and that every now and then +fire appeared from under ground, over which they raked cinders to keep +it out of sight. They were so absorbed in their work that they did not +heed my question, though I pleaded more and more earnestly. At last, I +observed that one of them ceased from his strange work, and looked at +me; whereupon I addressed myself to him, begging him to show me the way +out of the place." John added, "If I ever prayed in my life I prayed +then; but he shook his head as if he pitied me, and said mournfully, +'The way you came in,' I replied, 'I cannot find it'; then again he +shook his head as if to say, 'You never will.' I was obliged to rise +from my knees, for the ground was so hot, and in my despair I ran I know +not whither. As I passed along in haste, I came to cracks in the ground +full of fire; I stepped over them one after another, and ran on till I +came to such a large chasm, that I could not jump over it. I turned and +went in another direction, leaping and running, in a state of terror, +till at last I came upon a sheet of glowing fire, into which I fell. +Then I awoke. For fourteen years this has followed me; there is no hope +for me!" + +By this time he became very much excited and agitated: seizing his cap +he ran out of the house, leaving his wife and myself in mute +astonishment at his strange tale. + +I went home pondering over the meaning of this dream, and was struck at +the amount of truth in it. I thought--How fair are the promises of the +world to begin with, and how delusive and disappointing they are at the +end! Of course, Satan, the god of this world, will make the way to hell +as bright and pleasing as he possibly can; and if people take outward +circumstances and pleasing prospects for indications of safety, they +wilfully lay themselves open to this deadly delusion. What a number +there are who know, or might know, that they are on the road to hell; +that they cannot miss; and yet they go on! And then how many people +there are who rake cinders; that is, when thoughts of death, or +judgment, or hell, obtrude themselves, how readily they cover them over +with hopes of escape, or some good intentions to be better, before it is +too late! How often parents do the same for their children, for they +cannot bear to think of their being lost forever; so they hope that +somehow they will be changed before they die! How often preachers rake +cinders also, by addressing their hearers as if they were all safe, and +only wanted a little teaching now and then; and it may be a little +warning occasionally! They cannot bear to tell them plainly that they +are lost now, and may be lost for ever, if they do not repent and +believe the Gospel; they would rather "be persuaded better things of +them, and things which accompany salvation," though they know for +certain that there are many unsaved ones in their congregation. They +entertain them with good hearty services and pleasing sermons, and then +let them go on their way to the solemn end, perfectly unconscious of any +danger. + +The Lord Jesus had no such false charity as this. He has told us plainly +that we are all perishing creatures, and that there is no hope for any +one of us while we are still on the broad road to ruin and in an +unchanged state; that we must be born again or we cannot see the kingdom +of God; that we must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, who died in our +stead on the cross, or perish for ever. Preachers therefore ought to be +more faithful, because life is so uncertain, and the warnings of God so +sure. + +Well did John dream that they did not look like human beings, who were +raking cinders to keep the fire out of sight. + +After some days I got light on the subject of this awful dream, and +hastened to tell John that I had found the way out of that fearful place +for him. He would not hear me for some time; but I told him, that the +prodigal son said, "I will arise and go to my Father, and say unto Him, +I have sinned." "You see, John," I continued, "he came back the way he +went, and he found pardon; that is the way for you." + +I then knelt down and prayed, and he knelt with me at his table. There +he remained for four hours, without speaking a word, until I was +thoroughly exhausted and obliged to go. No sooner had I gone, than +John's heart failed him, and he burst out crying aloud, and said to his +wife, "Oh, Mary, what shall I do? What shall I do?" + +"Take the book and read," she said, pushing the Bible along the table to +him. It was open at the fifteenth chapter of St. Luke, where he read the +words aloud, "I will arise and go to my Father and will say unto him, +Father, I have sinned." The spell was broken and the string of his +tongue loosed, so that he cried aloud for mercy. + +This was no unusual thing in one house or another; but in this +particular dwelling it was wonderful. His next-door neighbour, who had +often heard the sound of cursing and swearing there, but never the voice +of prayer, was so astonished, that he rose and came to the door to +assure himself of the astonishing fact. It was quite true; surely it was +John's own voice praying. So, lifting the latch, he went in and shouted, +"Glory to God!" The louder William shouted, the louder John cried for +mercy. When listening to his friend, who pointed him to "the Lamb of +God, who taketh away the sin of the world," he found that "There is life +for a look at the Crucified One;" and then they shouted and praised God +together. + +It was a joyful meeting when I saw him again, and thanked God with him +for the marvellous change which had been wrought in his soul. His very +face was altered; and instead of the restless and defiant glare there +used to be in his countenance, there was rest and cheerfulness. + +I pointed out to him, from that same portion of the Word of God which +had been blessed to his soul, that there was something more to be had +than the pardon that he had already received; that there was also the +best robe, the ring, the shoes, and the feast of rejoicing. The Father's +arms round the neck of the prodigal son is a token of forgiveness---the +robe, of righteousness divine which is imputed to us; the ring, of our +union with Christ; the shoes, of strength, even grace, with which we +walk; and the feast of rejoicing, the believer's privilege of joy and +thanksgiving. + +John's conversion was a remarkable event, and caused a great sensation; +crowds of his fellow-work-mates used to stand round him while he told +his wonderful story. "Oh," he said, "I used to say there was no hell, +when all the time I had it burning in my heart; but, glory be to God, I +am saved from hell to heaven!" + +He seldom prayed in public after this, without begging the Lord to loose +the string of the tongue; for, as he said (speaking from experience), +"so many are held captive by that dumb devil." He became a true +missionary for souls, and was very zealous in his testimony, especially +amongst his old companions, who worked in the same factory: he had the +joy of seeing many of them brought to the Lord. + +John seemed to realize unseen things in an unusually striking way. He +was a man who in his sleep had vivid dreams, and who in his waking hours +pondered much upon eternal realities, so that he spoke as one who lived +in sight of another world. + + +CHAPTER 34 + +The Dismissal, 1860-61 + +Of this work at Hayle was not "a success," in every sense of the word, I +do not yet know what success in parochial ministry is. If large +congregations may be counted; many communicants taken into reckoning; +with frequent services, and schools full of children--we certainly had +these. But above all, we had a continual ingathering of souls, who will +testify throughout eternity of the blessedness and reality of the work +of God during the time I was there. + +It so happened that as we approached the term of three years, of which I +had been premonished when I first came, that my dear friend, Mr. Aitken, +came to pay us a visit. He preached with more amazing power than ever. +His appeals were altogether overwhelming, and I do not wonder that the +people fell on their knees, as they did then and there, and cried aloud +for mercy. + +A newspaper reporter who came to hear this "great man" preach, was at +first observed to be writing very diligently; then he paused, and his +hand fell; then his pencil and book went from his grasp; presently he +himself fell on his knees, and began to cry for mercy. We were curious +afterwards to read his report. + +In it the grateful man acknowledged his indebtedness, and the blessing +he had received. As to the sermon, he likened it to one of the storms of +the great Atlantic. He said. "At such a time it is interesting to stand +on the shore and watch the sea, and to note the power of wind and waves +while the storm is raging. Even then it is sometimes terrific enough; +but how much more so when the wind veers and the mighty waves come +rolling in one after another, and breaking with tremendous force upon +the rocks on which we stand! So it was with this preacher. All eyes were +fixed on him when he gave out his text, and proceeded with his usual +introduction. Now and then he alarmed and roused us with the power of +his oratory; but when he turned to apply his subject to the consciences +of the people, he became irresistible. Immediately, there was heard on +all sides a cry for mercy. The stentorian voice of the preacher was +audible above all others as he went on to apply the Word with +unrelenting force, till very few hearts, however hard, remained +unbroken." + +This was a memorable day with us. Twice was the church filled and +emptied; and again a third time, in the evening, the people crowded in +and filled the place. Far into the night we wrought amongst the anxious +and broken-hearted, bidding them to look at the Crucified One and live. + +Mr. Aitken was not a man who raked cinders over the fire, but rather +raked them off and that in true kindness and love; but with terrible and +awful plainness he showed the danger of trifling with the Gospel, and +presuming upon God's love and forbearance. + +On Monday evening we invited the people to assemble in the large +schoolroom, which was filled to excess. Here I thought that the +schoolmaster's desk would have been demolished under the tremendous +energy and force, both mental and physical, of this preacher. At the +first sign of a breakdown among the people, the great, tall man, in his +long coat or cassock, came majestically striding out from behind the +desk. That was enough. A hard rough-looking sailor, who was sitting by, +with his eyes fixed on Mr. Aitken for a long time, fell on his knees and +began to roar aloud for mercy, and very many others followed his +example. + +I asked this man afterwards what it was that had had such an effect upon +him? "Oh," he replied, drawing his breath, as if he had scarcely yet +recovered from the shock, "that big man was bad enough the other side of +the desk, but when he came forth to the front, I didn't know what would +happen to me. I was obliged to cry out for mercy; I couldn't help it." + +The "big man," like the "Stormy Petrel," was just in his element in such +a scene. In the gladness and joy of his heart he rejoiced and shouted, +"Glory--glory be to God!" in a way which no one else could imitate or +follow. + +In the midst of this scene of confusion (as it must have appeared to an +outside observer, if such an one was there), sat a woman, looking on at +the people praying and praising God, when all at once Mr. Aitken turned +suddenly upon her and said, "And you, my sister!" Immediately she gave a +scream, and was down on her knees in a moment, crying for mercy as loud +as the loudest. + +If Cornish people like a noise, they certainly had it that evening to +their hearts' content. As I have said before, when there is a real power +of the Spirit present, the outpouring of the heart with noisy +demonstration is joyous to those who go with the stream, and are in +sympathy with it; but if those present stop to doubt the propriety of +such an outcry, and begin to rebuke those who make it, then I think the +answer that the Lord gave the Pharisees would still be applicable: "I +tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would +immediately cry out" (Luke 19:40). + +It was a great triumph, and the rams' horns did more execution in these +two days than the silver trumpets had done in as many yearn. + +The next day, as soon as Mr. Aitken had gone, the rector came to see me. +He appeared to be somewhat embarrassed at first, but after a little time +said (looking on the ground), "You know I am no revivalist. I do not +like all this uproar. I cannot have it." He then went on to say that he +wished me to leave, for though he had given a guarantee that if I +succeeded, he would build me a church and endow it, he could not do +anything of the kind now, for he did not consider my work any success +whatever--quite the contrary. "These converted people (as you call them) +are no churchmen!" + +I replied, that I had taken his voice as from God in inviting me, and I +supposed that I must take the same for my dismissal, if he really +intended it; but I urged upon him to consider the matter well before he +broke up the work which was going on there, for whatever he thought +about it, it was undoubtedly a work of God, though one certainly not +very common in churches. + +Without saying another word he took up his hat and went away. His +departure was so abrupt that I could not believe he intended me to +receive this as six months' notice. Consequently, I went on with my work +as usual, finding plenty to do, more especially after Mr. Aitken's +energetic visit. There were many new converts to add to our classes; +anxious ones to be guided and led to Christ; and broken-hearted and +despairing ones to be comforted and built up. The work under such a +preacher is by no means finished with his visit, however long or short +it may be; but, on the contrary, it may rather be said to begin there. + +After some months, the rector came again to remind me that he had given +me notice more than five months before, and that he wished me to leave +at the beginning of the year, as he had secured the services of a +clergyman whose views were in accordance with his own. I was much +grieved at this and could only lay it before the Lord, and beg of Him to +order all according to His will. + +The following morning, without any seeking on my part, I received an +invitation from Bath, asking me to come and take charge of the district +of St. Paul's, in the parish of Holy Trinity. Thus was the door shut +behind me, and another opened in front. This was so unmistakable, that I +could not but be satisfied, and acquiesce in the manifest will of God; +though, naturally, I felt great sorrow at having to leave the people and +the work I loved so well. I said nothing about my dismissal, but went on +with my various engagements as usual, though I had only a little more +than three weeks left me. + +By some means it appeared in the newspapers, that I was appointed to a +district in Bath, and another clergyman was named as my successor at St. +John's, Hayle. This fell as a great blow upon my people, who were both +grieved and angry; but I could not comfort them, any more than I could +help myself. + +The last Christmas-day came and went, a sad and sorrowful day it was; +then the last day of the year, and the last night. We held our +watch-night service as usual, thanking God for the mercies of the past, +and entered upon the new year with thanksgiving and prayer. + +Thus ended my work, and eventful sojourn at Hayle, a little more than +three years after it began. A very sorrowful trial it was, and one of +bitter disappointment; but the Lord's leading was clear, and I have +since proved that it was all right, though at the time it was most +mysterious and very dark. + +A few weeks before leaving Hayle, as I was sitting by the fire one wet +afternoon, my eyes fell on a little coloured picture on the +mantle-piece, which had been the companion of my journeys for all the +twenty years of which I have been writing. It was a quaint mediaeval +illustration of Moses lifting up the serpent in the wilderness, copied +from a valuable manuscript (Book of Prayers) in the Bodleian Library at +Oxford. + +As I looked at the engraving before me, I began to suspect for the first +time that there was a design in the arrangement of the figures, and that +it was really intended to convey some particular teaching. I took it in +my hand and studied it, when I observed that the cross or pole on which +the serpent was elevated stood in the centre, dividing two sets of +characters, and that there were serpents on one side, and none on the +other. + +Behind the figure of Moses, is a man standing with his arms crossed on +his breast, looking at the brazen serpent. He has evidently obtained +life and healing by a look. On the other side, I observed that there +were four kinds of persons represented, who were not doing as this +healed one did to obtain deliverance. + +First, there is one who is kneeling in front of the cross, but he is +looking towards Moses, and not at the serpent, and apparently confessing +to him as if he were a priest. + +Next behind him is one lying on his back, as if he was perfectly safe, +though he is evidently in the midst of danger; for a serpent may be seen +at his ear, possibly whispering "Peace, peace, when there is no peace." + +Still further back from the cross there is a man with a sad face doing a +work of mercy, binding up the wounds of a fellow-sufferer, and little +suspecting that he himself is involved in the same danger. + +Behind them all, on the background, is a valiant man who is doing battle +with the serpents, which may be seen rising against him in unabating +persistency. + +I observed that none of these men were looking at the brazen serpent as +they were commanded to do. I cannot describe how excited and interested +I became; for I saw in this illustration a picture of my own life. Here +was the way of salvation clearly set forth, and four ways which are not +the way of salvation, all of which I had tried and found unavailing. +This was the silent but speaking testimony of some unknown denizen of a +cloister, who lived in the beginning of the fifteenth century, in the +days of ignorance and superstition. But notwithstanding this darkness, +he was brought out into the marvellous light of the Gospel, and has left +this interesting record of his experience. + +Like him, I also had fought with serpents, for I began in my own +strength to combat with sin, and strove by my own resolutions to +overcome. From this, I went on to do good works, and works of mercy, in +the vain hope of thus obtaining the same for myself. Then, I relied in +the Church for salvation, as God's appointed ark of safety; but not +feeling secure, I took another step beyond, and sought forgiveness +through the power of the priest. This I found was as ineffectual as all +my previous efforts. At last, I was brought (by the Spirit of God) as a +wounded and dying sinner, to look at the Crucified One. Then (as I have +related), I found pardon and peace. Ever since it has been my joy and +privilege (like Moses pointing to the serpent) to cry, "Behold the Lamb +of God which taketh away the sin of the world" (John 1:29). "I have +determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified;" that is, +to tell only of the person and office of Jesus Christ our Lord. + +Nearly twenty years have elapsed since the period at which this book +closes,* and, during all that time I have verified the truth and reality +of the teaching and experience I have recorded in this volume. All these +years, with their months, weeks, and days have passed by, and have found +me continually rejoicing in the work of the Lord--often wearied in it, +but never of it--often tempted to falter, but al ways enabled to +persevere. I have seen many rise and start well, who have collapsed or +retired; many who have blazed like a meteor for a short time, and then +disappeared from the scene. + +__________________________ + +* I may, perhaps, at some future time, give an account of these latter +twenty years. +_______________________________ + + +May I here, in a few parting words to the reader, tell how it is that I +have been kept. I believe it is--first, Because I have never failed to +insist upon the absolute necessity of conversion, saying in the words of +the Master, "Marvel not, Ye must be born again" (John 3:7). Secondly, +Because I have preached nothing but what is taken from the Word, and +required nothing to be believed for Salvation and Edification, but what +can be proved thereby. Thirdly, because I have exhorted living souls +with purpose of heart to cleave unto the Lord; firmly believing that He +who died to save, rose again from the dead, and lives to keep His +people. + +When we are saved, we are debtors to God, to devote ourselves to His +service, and for His glory: besides this, we are debtors to men, to make +known to them the grace which we have received; and we, as faithful +stewards of God should be ever ready (and not ashamed) to preach the +Gospel, for, "It is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that +believeth" (Rom. 1:16). + +Brockville, Canada: The Standard Book Room. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of From Death into Life, by William Haslam + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14578 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0b05625 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #14578 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14578) diff --git a/old/14578.txt b/old/14578.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bd38908 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14578.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9879 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of From Death into Life, by William Haslam + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: From Death into Life + or, twenty years of my ministry + +Author: William Haslam + +Release Date: January 3, 2005 [EBook #14578] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FROM DEATH INTO LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by Michael Madden + + + + + +FROM DEATH TO LIFE: Twenty Years of My Ministry. + +BY + +Rev. William Haslam, + +(Late Incumbent of Curzon Chapel, Mayfair) + +Reprinted by Rev. W. J. Watchorn. + +This edition completes 130,000 copies. + +Standard Book Room, Brockville, Ontario + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER 1 +The Broken Nest, 1841. + +CHAPTER 2 +Religious Life. + +CHAPTER 3 +Ordination. + +CHAPTER 4 +Antiquarian Researches and Ministry, 1843-46. + +CHAPTER 5 +The New Parish, 1846. + +CHAPTER 6 +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +CHAPTER 7 +Conversion, 1851. + +CHAPTER 8 +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +CHAPTER 9 +The Visitor, 1851. + +CHAPTER 10 +The First Christmas, 1851-52. + +CHAPTER 11 +Dreams and Visions, 1851-4. + +CHAPTER 12 +Billy Bray, 1852. + +CHAPTER 13 +Cottage Meetings, 1852. + +CHAPTER 14 +Open-Air Services, 1852. + +CHAPTER 15 +Drawing-Room Meetings, 1852-53. + +CHAPTER 16 +Opposition, 1853. + +CHAPTER 17 +Individual Cases, 1853. + +CHAPTER 18 +A Visit to Veryan, 1853. + +CHAPTER 19 +A Mission in the "Shires." 1853. + +CHAPTER 20 +A Stranger from London, 1853. + +CHAPTER 21 +Golant Mission, 1854. + +CHAPTER 22 +The High Church Rector, 1854. + +CHAPTER 23 +A Mission in Staffordshire, 1854. + +CHAPTER 24 +Sanctification. + +CHAPTER 25 +The Removal, 1855 + +CHAPTER 26 +Plymouth, 1855 + +CHAPTER 27 +Devonport, 1855 + +CHAPTER 28 +A Mission to the North, 1855 + +CHAPTER 29 +Tregoney, 1855 + +CHAPTER 30 +Secessions, 1856 + +CHAPTER 31 +Hayle, 1857-58 + +CHAPTER 32 +Bible Readings, 1858-59 + +CHAPTER 33 +The Work Continued, 1859 + +CHAPTER 34 +The Dismissal, 1860-61 + + +INTRODUCTION + +This volume is not so much a history of my own life, as of the Lord's +dealings with me; setting forth how He wrought in and by me during the +space of twenty years. It will be observed that this is not, as +biographies generally are, an account of life on to death; but rather +the other way--a narrative of transition from death into life, and that +in more senses than one. + +I had been given over by three physicians to die, but it pleased the +Lord, in answer to prayer, to raise me up again. My restored health and +strength I thankfully devoted to a religious and earnest life. In the +height and seeming prosperity of this, the Lord awakened me to see that +I was dead in trespasses and sins; still far from Him; resting on my own +works; and going about to establish my own righteousness, instead of +submitting to the righteousness of God. Then He quickened me by the Holy +Ghost, and raised me up into a new and spiritual life. + +In this volume the reader will meet with the respective results of (what +I have called) the Religious, as distinguished from the Spiritual, life. +The former produced only outward and ecclesiastical effects, while the +latter brought forth fruit in the salvation of souls, to the praise and +glory of God. + +One object in writing this book is to warn and instruct earnest-minded +souls, who are, as I was once, strangers to the experience of salvation, +seeking rest where I am sure they can never find it, and labouring to do +good to others when they have not yet received that good themselves. +They are vainly "building from the top;" trying to live before they are +born; to become holy before they have become justified; and to lead +others to conversion before they have been converted themselves. + +A second object is--to draw the attention of every earnest, seeking, or +anxious soul, to consider the Lord's marvellous goodness in first +bearing with me in my religious wanderings, and then using me for His +glory in the salvation of hundreds. + +Another desire I have is--to cheer the hearts of believers who are +working for God, by relating to them what He has done through me, and +can do again, by the simple preaching of the Gospel. Here the reader +will meet with narratives of the Lord's work in individual cases, in +congregations, and in parishes--wonderful things which are worthy of +record. + +I have not shunned to tell of the mistakes I fell into after my +conversion, hoping that others may take heed and profit by them; and +then I shall not have written in vain. + + + + +CHAPTER 1 + +The Broken Nest, 1841. + +At the time in which this history begins, I had, in the providence of +God, a very happy nest; and as far as temporal prospects were concerned, +I was provided for to my liking, and, though not rich, was content. I +had taken my degree; was about to be ordained; and, what is more, was +engaged to be married; in order, as I thought, to settle down as an +efficient country parson. + +With this bright future before me, I went on very happily; when, one +evening, after a hard and tiring day, just as I was sitting down to +rest, a letter was put into my hand which had been following me for +several days. "Most urgent" was written on the outside. It told me of +the alarming illness of the lady to whom I was engaged, and went on to +say that if I wished to see her alive I must set off with all haste. It +took me a very short time to pack my bag and get my travelling coats and +rugs together, so that I was all ready to start by the night mail. At +eight o'clock punctually I left London for the journey of two hundred +and eighty miles. All that night I sat outside the coach; all the next +day; and part of the following night. I shall never forget the misery of +mind and body that I experienced, for I was tired before starting; and +the fatigue of sitting up all night, together with the intense cold of +the small hours of the morning, were almost beyond endurance. With the +morning, however, came a warm and bright sunshine, which in some degree +helped to cheer me; but my bodily suffering was so great that I could +never have held up had it not been for the mental eagerness with which I +longed to get forward. It was quite consonant with my feelings when the +horses were put into full gallop, especially when they were tearing down +one hill to get an impetus to mount another. + +At length, the long, long journey was over; and about thirty hours after +starting, I found myself staggering along to the well-known house. As I +approached the door was softly opened by a relative who for several days +had been anxiously watching my arrival. She at once conducted me +upstairs, to what I expected was a sick chamber, when, to my horror, the +first thing I saw was the lid of a coffin standing up against the wall, +and in the middle of the room was the coffin, with candles burning on +either side. + +I nearly fell to the ground with this tremendous shock and surprise. +There was the dear face, but it seemed absorbed in itself, and to have +lost all regard for me. It no longer turned to welcome me, nor was the +hand stretched out, as theretofore, to meet mine. All was still; there +was no smile--no voice--no welcome-nothing but the silence of death to +greet me. + +The sight of that coffin, with its quiet inmate, did not awaken sorrow +so much as surprise; and with that, something like anger and rebellion. +I was weak and exhausted in body, but strong in wilful insubordination. +Murmuring and complaining, I spoke unadvisedly with my lips. + +A gentle voice upbraided me, adding, that I had far better kneel down in +submission to God, and say "Thy will be done!" This, however, was not so +easy, for the demon of rebellion had seized me, and kept me for three +hours in a tempest of anger, filling my mind with hard thoughts against +God. I walked about the room in the most perturbed state of mind, so +much so, that I grieved my friends, who came repeatedly to ask me to +kneel down and say, "Thy will be done!" "Kneel down--just kneel down!" +At length I did so, and while some one was praying, my tears began to +flow, and I said the words, "Thy will be done!" Immediately the spell +was broken and I was enabled to say from my heart, again and again, "Thy +will be done!" After this I was conscious of a marvellous change in +mind; rebellion was gone, and resignation had come in its place. More +than that, the dear face in the coffin seemed to lie smiling in peace, +so calm and so lovely, that I felt I would not recall the spirit that +was fled, even if it bad been possible. There was wrought in me +something more than submission, even a lifting-up of my will to the will +of God; and withal, such a love towards Him that I wondered at myself. +God had been, as it were, a stranger to me before. Now I felt as though +I knew and loved Him, and could kiss His hand, though my tears flowed +freely. + +The funeral took place the same morning: it was a time of great emotion; +sorrow and joy met, and flowed together. I thought of the dear one I had +lost, but yet more of the God of love I had found; and to remember that +she was with Him was an additional comfort to me. The funeral service +was soothing and elevating beyond expression; and yet, when it was all +over, such a sense of desolation came upon me, that I felt utterly +forlorn and truly sad. + +My nest was now completely stirred up; but instead of bemoaning its +broken state, I could see the eagle fluttering over her young ones +(Deut. 32:1). I was conscious that God was looking on, and that He had +not forsaken me in this great wreck. + +The strain and excitement I had undergone naturally brought on an +illness. I was seized with inflammation of the lungs, and was +dangerously ill. From this, and other complications which supervened, +the doctor pronounced that I could not recover, and bade me prepare for +eternity. + +Judges and doctors, when they pass sentence of death, seem to regard +religion as necessary preparation for it. Too common, also, is this +idea, even among those who do not belong to these respected professions. +My own opinion was much the same at that time. + +Having received this solemn warning, I took down the Prayer-book, and +religiously read over the office for the Visitation of the Sick. I +became so interested in this exercise, that I determined to read it +three times a day. The prayer for a sick child especially commended +itself to my mind, so that, by changing a few words, I made it +applicable to my own case, and used it not only three, but even seven, +times a day. In substance, it petitioned that I might be taken to heaven +if I died; or that, if it should please God to restore my health, He +would let me live to His glory. I did not at that time expect my days +would be prolonged, nor had I any wish to live, for the world was now +perfectly blank and desolate to me. I felt as if I could never be happy +again; to be with God would be far better! + +I little dreamed that if I had died in that unpardoned and Christless +state, I should have been lost forever; for I was profoundly ignorant of +the necessity of change of heart--perfectly unconscious that I must be +born again of the Spirit. This vital truth had never come to my mind; I +felt a love for God, and in my ignorance I wished to die. + +One morning the thought came to me, as I was sitting all alone by the +fire, "What have I been praying for?--that the Lord would take me to +heaven if I died; or, if I lived, that He would let me live to His glory?" +Why, this is heaven both ways!--heaven in heaven, or heaven on +earth--whichever way it pleases God to answer my prayer. Somehow I felt +certain that He would answer it. I was exceedingly happy, and could not +help thanking Him. From that day I began to feel better, and became +impressed with the idea that I was to live, and not die. The doctor +smiled at me when I told him so, for he did not believe it. He, and two +other physicians, had told me that my lungs were diseased; indeed, six +months afterwards, all three sounded me, and declared that one lung was +inoperative, and the other much affected. + +Yet, notwithstanding the doctor's discouraging announcement--for he told +me, also, that "it was one of the fatal signs of consumption for the +patient to feel or think he was getting better"--I had a certain +conviction that I was to recover. As soon as the medical man had gone, I +put on my coat and hat and went out for a walk. I trembled much from +weakness, and found it necessary to move very slowly and stop often; but +under the shelter of a wall, courting the warmth of the bright-shining +sun, I managed to make my way to the churchyard. + +While I was sitting there alone, the great bell struck out unexpectedly, +and caused me to shake all over; for I was in a very weak condition. It +was the sexton tolling to announce the departure of the soul of some +villager from the world. Having done this, he came out with his boards +and tools to dig the grave. He did not observe me sitting by; so he at +once commenced, and went on diligently with his work. The ground had so +often been broken before that it did not take him long to accomplish his +task; he gradually got deeper and deeper into the ground, till he +disappeared altogether from my sight. I crept to the edge of the narrow +pit in which he was, and looking into it, I could not help thinking of +those words of Kirke White-- + +"Cold grave, methinks, 'twere sweet to rest +Within thy calm and hallowed breast!" + +I had no fear of death, but rather felt that I should welcome it even +more than restoration to health. + +I have even now a most vivid remembrance of this, and place it on record +to show how delusive' are our feelings: because I did not feel any +danger, I took it for granted that there really was none. That day, +however, was an eventful one in my life; for, in the gladness of my +heart, I gave myself to God, to live for Him. I had given my will +before, and now I gave my life, and was happy in the deed. I did not +know at that time that faith does not consist in believing that I have +given myself, even if I meant it ever so sincerely; but in believing +that God has taken or accepted me. + +At the outset, I began with the former--a merely human faith--and its +result was consequently imperfect. I was spiritually dead, and did not +know it. Alas! What multitudes there are who are utterly unconscious of +the fact of this spiritual death, though there are few things more +plainly declared and revealed in the Word of God. + +The full meaning of the word death is too often misunderstood and +overlooked. There are three kinds referred to in the Word of +God--spiritual, natural, and everlasting. The first is a separation of +the soul from God; the second, that of the body from the soul; and the +last, that of the unbelieving man, body and soul, from God forever. + +It will be seen that there is one characteristic which is common to all +three kinds--that is, separation; and that there is no idea of +finality--death is not the end. When the Lord God created man, we +suppose that He made him not merely in the form of a body, but a man +with body and soul complete; and afterwards that He breathed into this +living man the Spirit, and he became a living soul. As such, he communed +with the eternal God, who is a Spirit. In this spiritual state he could +walk and converse with God in the garden of Eden. When, however, he +disobeyed the command which had been given to him, he incurred the +tremendous penalty. The Lord God had said, "In the day that you eat of +the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall surely die." He +did eat, and he died there and then; that is, he forfeited that 'Spirit +which had quickened his soul, and thus became a dead soul; though, as we +know, he remained a living man for nine hundred years before his body +returned to its dust. + +By his one act of disobedience, Adam opened in an instant (as an +earthquake opens a deep chasm) the great gulf, the impassable gulf of +separation which is fixed between us and God. By nature, as the children +of Adam, we are all on the side which is away from God; and we are +become subject also to the sentence pronounced against the life of the +body. We know and understand that we are mortal, and that it is +appointed unto men once to die; but we do not seem to be aware of the +more important fact of the death of our souls. Satan, who said to our +first parents, "Ye shall not surely die," employs himself now in +deceiving men by saying, "Ye are not dead;" and multitudes believe him, +and take it for granted that it is actually true. Thus they go on +unconcerned about this awful and stupendous reality. + + + +CHAPTER 2 + +Religious Life. + +With returning health and strength, I did not think of going back into +the world, but rather gave myself more fully to the purpose for which I +supposed that my life had been restored. I felt a thankfulness and joy +in my recovery, which confirmed me more and more in my determination to +live to the glory of God. + +When I was able to return to the South, I did so by easy stages till I +got back to the neighbourhood of London; and there it was ordered that I +should be shut up for the remainder of the winter. + +During this season of retirement, I spent my time most happily in +reading and prayer, and found great delight in this occupation. I was +able to say, with the Psalmist, "I love the Lord, because He has heard +my voice and my supplication;" and, like him, I could say, "I will call +upon Him as long as I live; I will walk before Him in the land of the +living; and I will take the cup of salvation and call upon the name of +the Lord." That is, in secret or private life; in social intercourse +with my fellow-men; and in the worship of the sanctuary, I will seek the +glory of God. I used to have much pleasure every day in asking God to +give me a deeper sense of His love, that I might unfeignedly thank Him, +and show forth His praise with my life as well as my lips. + +All this, be it observed, was because God had saved not my soul, but my +life; for as yet I had not, like the Psalmist, felt any trouble about my +soul. I knew nothing of what he describes as the "sorrows of death and +the pains of hell." I had not been awakened by the Spirit to know the +danger and sorrow of being separated from God (which is spiritual +death). I was perfectly unconscious that between God and myself there +was the "impassable gulf" I have already referred to, and consequently I +had not experienced such overwhelming anxiety as made the Psalmist cry +out, "O Lord, I beseech Thee, deliver my soul." I knew nothing of the +necessity of passing from death to life, and therefore I could not say, +"The Lord has delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my +feet from falling." + +The only thing I knew was that God was good to me, and therefore I loved +Him, and was thankful, not for the sake of getting His favour, but +because I thought I had it. I turned over a new leaf, and 'therewith +covered up the blotted page of my past life. On this new path I +endeavoured to walk as earnestly in a religious way, as I had before +lived in a worldly one. + +This mistake into which I fell was natural enough and common as it is +natural; but for all this it was very serious, and might have been fatal +to me, as it has proved to multitudes. I did not see then, as I have +since that turning over a new leaf to cover the past, is not by any +means the same thing as turning back the old leaves, and getting them +washed in the blood of the Lamb. + +I have said before that I did not know any better; nor was I likely to +see matters in a clearer light from the line of study in which I was +chiefly occupied. I was absorbed for the time, not so much in the Bible +as in the "Tracts for the Times"--a publication which was engaging much +attention. These Oxford tracts suited me exactly, and fitted my tone of +mind to a nicety. Their object was the restoration of the Church of +England from a cold, formal condition, into something like reality--from +a secular to a religious state; this also was my own present object for +myself. I read these writings with avidity, and formed from them certain +ecclesiastical proclivities which carried me on with renewed zeal. + +I suppose I learned from the perusal of them to interpret the Bible by +the Prayer-book, and to regard the former as a book which no one could +understand without the interpretation of the Fathers. Certain it is, +that I did not look to the Bible, but to the Church, for teaching, for I +was led to consider that private judgment on the subject of Scripture +statements was very presumptuous. I got, moreover, into a legal state, +and thought my acceptance with God depended upon my works, and that His +future favour would result upon my faithfulness and attention to works +of righteousness which I was doing. This made me very diligent in +prayer, fasting, and almsdeeds; and I often sat and dreamed about the +works of mercy and devotion which I would do when I was permitted to go +out again. + +Like persons in this state of mind, I also relied on ordinances, and was +subject to them. I took it for granted that I was a child of God, +because I had been baptized and brought into the Church; and having been +confirmed and admitted to the Lord's Table, I concluded that I was +safely on the way to Heaven. I see now the error of this very earnest +devotion, and that I was going about to establish my own righteousness +instead of submitting to the righteousness of God. I like to remember +these days and tell of them, not because I am proud of them-far +otherwise; but because they show the kind forbearance and patience of +God towards me, and, besides this, they give me a clearer idea of the +state of very many earnest people I meet with, who enter upon a +religious path in much the same way. + +Such persons make the two mistakes already referred to. They start with +believing in their surrender of themselves, instead of God's acceptance +of it; and secondly, they make their continuance therein depend upon +their repeated acts of devotion. They live and walk by their own works, +not by faith in the finished work of Christ. What shall I say to these +things? Shall I denounce them as delusions, or superstitious legality? +No. I would far rather that people should be even thus religious than be +without religious observances--far rather that they should be subject to +the Prayer-book teaching than be the sport of their own vain imaginings. +If men have not given their hearts to God and received forgiveness of +sins, it is better that they should give themselves to a Church than +yield themselves to the world and its vanities. + +If I had to go over the ground again under the same circumstances, I do +not think I could take a better path. Church teaching by itself, with +all its legalities, is superior to a man's own inventions; and the form +of godliness required by it, even without spiritual power, is better +than no form or profession of religion. + +To say the least, Church teachings, when it is correctly followed, +instructs the conscience, restrains and guides the will, and imparts a +practical morality which we do not find in any other system. I have more +hope of people who rest in some distinctive and positive dogmas than of +those who merely deal with negations. The former may be reached by +spiritual teaching; the latter are but shadowy adversaries with whom it +is impossible to engage. + +Therefore, when I see a man, for conscience towards God, giving up the +world, and taking up with reverential worship, with even superstitious +veneration for ecclesiastical things, because they are so--when I see a +man, who was careless before, become conscientious and true in all his +outward dealings, very particular in his observance of private and +public prayer, exercising self-denial, living for others rather than +himself, bearing and forbearing in all quietness and meekness--I cannot +do otherwise than admire him. This, surely, is far more lovely and +admirable than the opposite of these things. + +Instead of joining in the outcry against such persons, I feel rather in +sympathy, and have a desire in my heart to win them to still better +things, and to show them "the way of God more perfectly." I feel that +they are stirred as I was, and are struggling in self-righteousness, not +because they wilfully prefer it to God's righteousness, but because they +are yearning for true and spiritual reality. They are in a transition +state, and the more restless they are, the more assured I am that they +will never attain real rest and satisfaction to their souls till they +have found God, and are found of Him in Christ Jesus. + +But the question may be asked, "Is it possible for unsaved people +(spiritually dead) to be so good and religious? Is not such a state an +indication of spiritual vitality?" I answer, without hesitation, that it +is possible. Religion by itself, irrespective of the subject-matter of a +creed, may have a quieting and controlling effect upon the soul. The +Hindoo, the Moslem, the Jew, the Romanist, as well as the Protestant, +may each and all be wonderfully self-possessed, zealous, devout, or +teachable, or even all these together, and yet remain dead souls. + +As a boy in India, I remember being greatly struck with the calmness of +the Hindoos, as contrasted with the impatience and angry spirit of the +English. On one occasion I observed one of the former at his devotions. +He, with others, had been carrying me about in a palankeen all day in +the hot sun. In the evening, he most reverently took from his girdle a +piece of mud of the sacred river Ganges, or Gunga, as they call it, and +dissolving this in water, he washed a piece of ground, then, having +washed his feet and hands, he stepped on this sacred spot, and began to +cook his food. While it was preparing, he was bowed to the ground, with +his face between his knees, worshipping towards the setting sun. A boy +who was standing by me said, "If you touch that man he will not eat his +dinner." In a thoughtless moment I did so with my hand, and immediately +he rose from his devotions; but, instead of threatening and swearing at +me, as some might have done who belong to another religion, he only +looked reproachfully, and said, "Ah, Master William!" and then emptying +out the rice which was on the fire, he began his ceremony all over +again. It was quite dark before he had finished his "poojah," or +worship, and his meal. This man's religious self-possession made a +greater impression on me than if he had abused or even struck me, for +hindering his dinner. I thought to myself, "I will be a Hindoo when I +grow up!" And truly I kept my word, though not in the same form; for +what else was I in my earnest, religious days! + +This is an important question to settle, and, therefore, I will give +three examples from Scripture. + +No one can doubt the zeal of Saul of Tarsus. This was no easy-going, +charitable creed, which supposes all good men are right. He was sure +that if he was right, as a natural consequence Stephen was wrong, even +blasphemous, and as such worthy of death. Therefore, he had no scruples +about instigating the death of such a one. Notwithstanding all this +uncompromising and straightforward religiousness, he needed to be +brought from death to life. + +Again: look at Cornelius, who was "a devout man that feared God with all +his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway" +(Acts 10:2). There can be no mistake about this man with such a +testimony; and yet he also needed to hear words whereby he and all his +house should be saved (Acts 11:14). Next: Nicodemus, I suppose it will +be admitted, was an earnest and religious man. Evidently, he was one of +those who "believed in the name of Jesus, because he saw the miracles +which He did" (John 2:23). This man, humble and teachable as he was, +came to Jesus, and said, "Rabbi, we know that Thou art a teacher come +from God, for no man can do these miracles that Thou doest, except God +be with him." Yet he was told, "Except a man be born again, he cannot +see the kingdom of God." "Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be +born again" (John 3). As surely as all mankind are dead in Adam, so +surely every man needs spiritual life. In this respect it was no new +thing which the Lord Jesus propounded to Nicodemus. The spiritual change +of heart he referred to has always been the one condition of intercourse +with God. All God's saints, even in the Old Testament times, had +experienced 'this. Hence the Lord's exclamation, "Art thou a master of +Israel, and knowest not these things?" + +It may be urged that these three men were not in the Christian +dispensation. Let this be granted; but the point at hand is that they +needed spiritual life, though they were such good religious men. It will +not be very hard to prove that even baptized men in the Christian +dispensation need to be raised from death unto life just as much as any +other children of Adam. It is clear, both from Scripture and experience, +that baptism, whatever else it imparts, does not give spiritual +vitality. + +St. Peter's testimony is this, "Of a truth I perceive that God is no +respecter of persons; but in every nation he that feareth Him and +worketh righteousness is accepted with Him" (Acts 10: 34, 35). Accepted +to be saved, not because there is any merit in his works, but because +God sees that there is real sincerity in his living up to the light he +has. The heathen who know there is a God, and do not worship His as God, +are given over to idolatry (Rom.1); but, on the other hand, those who do +worship Him, and give Him thanks, are taken in hand to be guided into +life and truth. Therefore are we justified in hoping that earnest and +religious men, though they be dead, if their religion is really towards +God, will be brought to spiritual life. + +It was a happy winter to me, however, notwithstanding my spiritual +deficiencies; and the recollection of it still abides in my memory. I +had now no desire for the world and its pleasures. My mind had quite +gone from such empty amusements and frivolities; even the taste I used +to have for these things was completely taken away. + +I was happier now than ever I had been before, so that I am convinced +from personal experience that even a religious life may be one of joy, +though by no means so satisfying and abiding as a truly spiritual one. I +was happy, as I have already said, and longed for the time when I could +be ordained, and devote my energies to work for God in the ministry. + + +CHAPTER 3 + +Ordination and First Parish, 1842. + +On the returning spring, as I was feeling so much stronger, and +altogether better, I thought I would go and see the physician who had +sounded me some months before. He, after a careful examination, still +adhered to his previous opinion, and gave very little hope of my +recovery, but suggested that if I went to the north coast of Cornwall +there might be a chance for me. + +On my return home, I took up an "Ecclesiastical Gazette," though it was +three months old, and looked over the advertisements. There I observed +one which invited a curate for a church in that very neighbourhood. It +was a sole charge; but, strange to say, a title for holy orders was +offered also. In reply to this I wrote a letter, asking for particulars, +in which I stated my Church views, and that I was ordered to that part +of the country for the benefit of my health. + +The Vicar, who resided in another parish, thirty miles off, was so eager +to get help for this one, that he wrote back to say he had sent my +letter to the Bishop, with one from himself, and that I should hear from +his lordship in a few days. + +I was surprised at this precipitation of affairs, and all the more so +when I received a note from the Bishop of Exeter (Phillpotts), bidding +me come to him immediately, that I might be in time for the Lent +ordination. + +Accordingly, I started westward, and having passed my examination, I was +sent with letters dimissory to the Bishop of Salisbury (Denison), to +whom I was also sent, a year afterwards, for priest's orders. I was very +weak, and much exhausted with travelling, but still went on, though I +know not how. + +The long-desired day at length arrived, and I was duly ordained; but +instead of being full of joy, I became much depressed in mind and body, +and could not rouse myself from dwelling upon the Bishop's address, +which was very solemn. He told us that we were going to take charge of +the souls of our parishioners, and that God would require them at our +hands; we must take heed how we tended the Lord's flock. Altogether, it +was more than I had calculated upon; and feeling very ill that +afternoon, I thought that I had undertaken a burden which would +certainly be my ruin. "What could I do with souls?" My idea of +ordination was to be a clergyman, read the prayers, preach sermons, and +do all I could to bring people to church; but how could I answer for +souls which had to live for ever? and what was I to do with them? + +In the evening, I so far roused myself as to go amongst the other +candidates, to sound them, and ascertain what were their feelings with +regard to the Bishop's solemn address! They merely thought that it was +very beautiful, and that he was a holy man; and then some of them +proposed that we should all go in a riding party, to see Stonehenge, the +next day. It was especially thought that a drive on the Wiltshire plains +could do me a great deal of good, if I did not feel strong enough to +ride on horseback. I agreed to this, and went with them to see this +famous temple of Druidical worship; and after that set off for Plymouth, +on my way to the far west. But, alas! the charm of ordination had fled, +and I was more than half sorry that I had undertaken so much. It had +been done so precipitately too, for even now it was only ten days since +I had seen the physician. + +After resting a day, I proceeded to Truro, and then took a post-chaise +and drove out to my first parish, called Perranzabuloe, which was +situated about eight miles from Truro, on the north coast of Cornwall. I +alighted at an old manor house, where I was to have apartments with a +farmer and his family. Being much fatigued, I soon retired to bed, +anything but happy, or pleased with the bleak and' rough-looking place +to which I had come. + +I slept well, however, and the next morning felt considerably better, +and was revived in spirits. After making many inquiries about things in +general, I obtained the keys, and made my way to the parish church, +which was about ten minutes' walk from the house. Here, again, I was +greatly grieved and disappointed to see such a neglected churchyard and +dilapidated church; and when I went inside, my heart sank, for I had +never seen a place of worship in such a miserable condition. Moreover, I +was told that the parish was seven miles long, and that its large +population of three thousand souls was scattered on all sides, excepting +round the church. + +I had left my friends a long way off, and was alone in a strange place, +with an amount of work and responsibility for which I knew I was +thoroughly unprepared and unfit. However, I sauntered back to my +lodgings, and began to ruminate as to what was to be done. + +I had now sole charge of this extensive parish, for the duties of which +I was to receive the very moderate stipend of forty pounds a year; but +of this I did not complain, for my board and lodging, with washing, and +the keep of a horse included, was only twelve shillings a week, leaving +me a margin of nearly ten pounds for my personal expenses. The questions +that troubled me were--what was I to do with three thousand people? And +how was I to reach them? + +In due course Sunday morning arrived, and with the help of a +neighbouring clergyman, who kindly came over, as he said, "to put me in +the way," I got through the service (being the only one for the day at +that time), having about a score of listless people, lounging in +different parts of the church, for a congregation. This was my first +Sunday in my first parish. + +Just at this time a book was sent me by a kind friend, entitled "The +Bishopric of Souls," which terrified me even more than the Bishop's +charge had done; for I felt that, notwithstanding my ardent desire to +serve and glorify God, I had not the remotest conception how to do it, +as regards winning souls. The author of this book took it for granted +that every one who had the office of a pastor, had also the spiritual +qualification for it; but experience proves that this is by no means the +case. My ordination gave me an ecclesiastical position in the parish; +the law maintained me in it; and the people expected me to do the duties +of it: but how to carry all this out, except in a dry and formal way, I +did not know. + +As time went on, my parochial duties increased. I had to baptize the +children, marry the young, visit the sick, and bury the dead; but I +could not help feeling how different was this in action, to what it was +in theory. I had had a kind of dreamland parish in my head, with daily +service, beautiful music, and an assembly of worshipping people; but +instead of this, I found a small, unsympathizing congregation, who +merely looked upon these sacred things as duties to be done, and upon me +as the proper person to do them. When I went to visit the sick I had +nothing to say to them; so I read a few Collects, and sometimes gave +them a little temporal relief, for which they thanked me; but I came out +dissatisfied with myself, and longed for something more, though I did +not know what. + +Notwithstanding all these trials and disappointments, my health was +gradually improving. I found that the air of this place was like meat +and drink, and gave me an appetite for something more substantial. I +very often frequented the beach, with its beautiful cliffs, and was much +exhilarated by the bracing sea air; indeed, I had, and still retain, +quite a love for the place. As my strength and energy increased, I rode +about the parish all day, making the acquaintance of the people, and +inviting them to come to church. + +During my visits, I found out that the church warden was a good +musician, and that he knew others in the parish who were able to play on +various instruments; so in order to improve the services, and make them +more attractive, I urged him to invite these musical people to his house +to practise; and in due course we had a clarionet, two fiddles, and his +bass viol, with a few singers to form a choir. We tried over some +metrical psalms (for there were no hymn-books in those days), and soon +succeeded in learning them. This musical performance drew many people to +church. The singers were undeniably the great attraction, and they knew +it; consequently I was somewhat in their power, and had to submit to +various anthems and pieces, such as "Vital Spark." "Angels Ever Bright +and Fair," and others, not altogether to my taste, but which they +evidently performed to their own praise and satisfaction. + +Finding that the people were beginning to frequent the church, I thought +it was time to consider what steps should be taken about its +restoration, and made it the subject of conversation with the farmers. +It awakened and alarmed many of them when I said that the church must be +restored, and that we must have a church rate. The chief farmer shook +his head, saying, "You cannot carry that;" but I replied, "According to +law, you are bound to keep up the fabric, and it ought to be done. I +will write to the Vicar at once about it." He was a non-resident +pluralist. + +The farmer smiled at that, and said, laughing, "I will pledge myself +that we will do as much as he does." It so happened that the Vicar, +equally incredulous about the farmers doing anything, promised that he +would do one half, if they would do the other. + +Having ascertained this to my satisfaction, I immediately sent for the +mason of the village, who played the clarionet in the church, also his +son, who was "one of the of the fiddles," and consulted with them as to +how this matter was to be accomplished. They, being in want of work at +the time, readily advised me in favour of restoration. The churchwarden +(the "bass viol") said "that he had no objection to this proceeding, but +that he would not be responsible. In two months," he added, "would be +the annual vestry meeting." "That will do," I said, interrupting him; +and I made up my mind that I would at once restore the church, and let +the parishioners come and see it at that time. + +Having made all necessary preparations, we commenced one fine Monday +morning with repairing the roof and walls; and while the men were +employed outside, we took out the windows and opened all the doors, to +let the wind blow through, that the interior of the building might be +thoroughly dried. This done, we next coloured the walls, also the stone +arches and pillars (they were far too much broken to display them); and +having cleaned the seats and front of the gallery, we stained and +varnished them, matted the floor, carpeted the sacrarium, and procured a +new cloth for the Communion Table, and also for the 'pulpit and +reading-desk. + +All this being completed, I painted texts with my own hands on the +walls, in old English characters. I had great joy in writing these, for +I felt as if it was to the Lord Himself, and for His name, and finished +with Nehemiah's prayer, "Remember me, O my God, concerning this; and +wipe not out my good deeds that I have done for the house of my God, and +for the offices thereof" (Neh. 13:14). + +Altogether, it was a pretty church now, and a pretty sum was to be paid +for it. I told the vestry that I alone was responsible, but that the +Vicar had promised to pay one half if the vestry would pay the other. It +seemed to be such a joy to them to get anything out of him, that they +made a rate at once; and upon the Vicar's letter, raised the money and +paid off the debt. + +The people were much pleased with their church in its new aspect, and +brought their friends and neighbours to see it. Besides this, I observed +something which gratified me very much. It was that when they entered +the church they did so with reverence, taking off their hats and walking +softly, in place of stamping with their heels and coming in with their +hats on, as they too often had previously done, without any respect or +concern whatever. A neglected place of worship does not command +reverence. + +My church now began to be the talk of the neighbourhood. Numbers of +people came to see it, and among them several clergymen, who asked me to +come and restore their churches. + +There were many places where the people could not afford to rebuild the +structure. In such, I was invited to exercise my skill in repairing, as +I had done with my own; in others, I was asked to give designs for +restoring portions of the edifice; and in some, for rebuilding +altogether. In this district, schools were not built nor +parsonage-houses enlarged without sending for me. + +For several years I was looked upon as an authority in architectural +matters. I rode about all over the county from north to west, restoring +churches and designing schools, and was accounted the busiest man alive; +and my horse, my dog, and myself, the "three leanest things in +creation," we were to be seen flying along the roads, day and night, in +one part or another. + +The Bishop of Exeter, who at that time presided over Cornwall, appointed +me to make new "Peel" districts.* I designed nineteen, and made all the +maps myself, calling on the Vicars and Rectors for their approbation. I +was at this time a very popular man, and it was said that "the Bishop's +best living" would be given to me in due time. + +_____________ + +* The "Peel" districts were the new ecclesiastical districts +created under the Church Extension Act, introduced by Sir Robert Peel. +_____________ + + +CHAPTER 4 + +Antiquarian Researches and Ministry, 1843-6. + +Another thing which raised my name in and beyond the county was the +"Lost Church" at Perranzabuloe. There was an old British church existing +in some sand-hills in the parish, and it was said to be entire as far as +the four walls. The hill under which it was buried was easily known by +the bones and teeth which covered it. The legend said that the patron +saint, St. Piran, was buried under the altar, and that close by the +little church was a cell in which he lived and died. This was enough. I +got men, and set to work to dig it up. After some days' labour we came +to the floor, where we discovered the stone seats, and on the plaster of +the wall the greasy marks of the heads and shoulders of persons who had +sat there many centuries ago. We found the chancel step, and also the +altar tomb (which was built east and west, not north and south). It was +fallen, but enough remained to show the original shape and height of it. + +I put a notice in the newspapers, inviting people to come and see the +old church which had been buried for fifteen hundred years. In the +presence of many visitors, clerical and lay, we removed the stones of +the altar, and found the skeleton of St. Piran, which was identified in +three ways. The legend said that he was a man seven feet high; the +skeleton measured six feet from the shoulder-bones to the heel Again, +another legend said that his heart was enshrined in a church forty miles +away; the skeleton corresponded with this, for it was headless. +Moreover, it was said that his mother and a friend were buried on either +side of him; we also found skeletons of a male and female in these +positions. Being satisfied on this point, we set the masons to work to +rebuild the altar tomb in its original shape and size, using the same +stones as far as they would go. We made up the deficiency with a heavy +granite slab. + +On this I traced with my finger, in rude Roman letters, "SANCTUS +PIRANUS." The mason would not cut those crooked letters unless I +consented for him to put his name in better ones in the corner. I could +not agree to this, so his apprentice and I, between us, picked out the +rude letters, which have since (I have heard) been copied for a +veritable Roman inscription. + +My name was now up as an antiquary, and I was asked to be the secretary +(for the West of England) to the Archaeological Society. I was supposed +to be an old gentleman, and heard myself quoted as the "venerable and +respected Haslam," whose word was considered enough to settle a knotty +point beyond doubt. I was invited to give a lecture on the old Perran +Church, at the Royal Institution, Truro, which I did; illustrating it +with sketches of the building, and exhibiting some rude remains of +carving, which are now preserved in the museum there. + +The audience requested me (through their chairman) to print my lecture. +This I undertook also; but being very young in literary enterprises, I +added a great deal of other matter to the manuscript which I was +preparing for the press. There was much in the book * about early +Christianity and ecclesiastical antiquities. I imagined that this parish +was, in British and Druidic times, a populous place, and somewhat +important. There was a "Round," or amphitheatre, for public games, and +four British castles; also a great many sepulchral mounds on the hills, +the burial-place of chieftains. I supposed that St. Piran came here +among these rude natives (perhaps painted savages) to preach the Gospel, +and then built himself a cell by the sea-shore,+ near a spring or well, +where he baptized his converts. Close by, he built this little church, +in which he worshipped God and prayed for the people. + +________________________________ + +* "The Church of St. Piran." Published by Van Voorst. ++ This little building still remains entire, under the sand. Some pieces +of British pottery and limpet-shells were found outside the door. +________________________________ + +The words of the poet Spenser do not inaptly describe this scene of +other days:-- + +A little, lowly hermitage it was, +Downe in a dale-- +Far from resort of people, that did pas +In treveill to and fro: a litle wyde +There was a holy chappell edifyde, +Wherein the hermite dewly wont to say +His holy things each morn and eventyde; +Thereby a crystall streame did gently play, +Which, from a sacred fountaine welled forth away. + +Here then, more than fourteen centuries ago, people called upon God; and +when their little sanctuary was overwhelmed with the sand, they removed +to the other side of the river, and built themselves another church; but +they still continued to bury their dead around and above the oratory and +resting-place of St. Piran. + +When my book was published, there ensued a hot controversy about the +subject of it; and some who came to see the "Lost Church" for +themselves, declared that it was nothing more than "a modern cowshed;" +others would not believe in the antiquity I claimed for it: one of these +even ventured to assert his opinion in print, that "it was at least +eight centuries later than the date I had fixed;" another asked in a +newspaper letter, "How is it, if this is a church, that there are no +others of the same period on record?" + +This roused me to make further research; and I was soon rewarded by +finding in the registry at Exeter a list of ninety-two churches existing +in Cornwall alone in the time of Edward the Confessor, of which +Lam-piran was one. With the help of another antiquary, I discovered nine +in one week, in the west part of the county, with foundation walls and +altar tombs, of which I published an account in the "Archaeological +Journal." This paper set other persons to work, who discovered similar +remains in various parts of the country; and thus it was proved to +demonstration that we had more ecclesiastical antiquities, and of +earlier date, than we were aware of. + +Next, my attention was directed to Cornish crosses; about which I also +sent a paper, with illustrations, as a good secretary and correspondent +to the same Journal. My researches on this subject took me back to a +very remote time. I found crosses among Roman remains, with +inscriptions, something like those in the Catacombs near Rome--these +were evidently Christian; but I found crosses also among Druidic +antiquities. I could not help inquiring, "Where did the Druids get this +sign?" From the Phoenicians. "Where did they get it?" From the +Egyptians. "Where did they get it?" Then I discovered that the cross had +come to Egypt with traditions about a garden, a woman, a child, and a +serpent, and that the cross was always represented in the hand of the +second person of their trinity of gods. This personage had a human +mother, and slew the serpent which had persecuted her.* + +_______________________ + +* These traditions came to the Egyptians from an ancestor who had come +over the flood with seven others. +_______________________ + +Here was a wonderful discovery! The mythology of Egypt was based on +original tradition, handed down from Antediluvian times! From further +investigation, it was evident that the substance of Hindoo mythology +came from the same source; as also that of the Greeks, Chinese, +Mexicans, and Scandinavians. This is how the Druids got the cross also: +it was in the hand of their demi-god Thor, the second person of their +triad, who slew the great serpent with his famous hammer, which he +bequeathed to his followers. + +I was beside myself with excitement, and walked bout the room in a most +agitated state. I then made a table or harmony of these various +mythologies, and when placed side by side, it was quite clear that they +were just one and the same story, though dressed up in a variety of +mythological forms, and that the story was none other than that of the +Bible. + + +In my architectural journeys I used to entertain, people with these +wondrous subjects; and one evening I had the honour of agitating even +the Bishop of Exeter himself, who, in his enthusiasm, bade me write a +book, and dedicate it to him. I did so. "The Cross and the Serpent" is +the title of it, and it was duly inscribed to his lordship. + +It excites me even now to think about it, though it is thirty-five years +since I made these discoveries. The old librarian at Oxford declared +that I was mad, and yet he could not keep away from the subject, and he +was never weary of hearing something more about it. This reverend Doctor +said, "If you are right, then all the great antiquaries are wrong." I +suggested that they had not had the advantage I possessed of placing +their various theories side by side, or of making their observations +from my point of view. + +Notwithstanding all these external labours, which engrossed my earnest +and deep attention, I did not neglect my parish. I felt, however, that +my parishioners did not know anything about ecclesiastical antiquities +or architectural science; and that they knew nothing, and cared less, +about Church teaching. They did not believe, with me, that in order to +be saved hereafter, they ought to be in the Church, and receive the Holy +Communion--that there is no salvation out of the Church, and no Church +without a Bishop. They were utterly careless about these things and from +the first had been an unsympathetic and unteachable people. I feel sure +that had it not been for other interesting occupations which engaged my +mind, I should have been altogether discouraged with them. + +I tried to stir them up to a zeal worthy of their ancestors, who were +such good and loyal Churchmen, that King Charles the First wrote them a +letter of Commendation, and commanded that it should be put up in all +the churches. I had a copy of this letter well painted, framed, and +placed in a conspicuous part of my church. Then I prepared an original +sermon, which I preached, or rather read, to inaugurate the royal +letter. + +My text was taken from Heb. 12:22-24, "Ye are come unto Mount Sion, and +unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an +innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the +first-born, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, +and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus the mediator +of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh +better things than that of Abel." I applied these words to the Church of +England, and rather reproached the Cornish people for not being more +loyal and scriptural! + +I think I was more roused by my sermon than any one else; and no one +asked me to print it, but I did for all that, with a copy of the king's +letter. I am sorry to say that the public did not care sufficiently +about it to buy copies enough even to pay for printing. + +It fell very flat, but I attributed that to the degeneracy of the times, +and of Cornish people in particular. The fact was, they understood that +text far better than I did, and knew that "the Church of the first-born" +was something more spiritual than I had any conception of. + +From the commencement of my ministry I did not, as a general rule, +preach my own sermons, but Newman's, which I abridged and simplified, +for in that day I thought them most sound in doctrine, practical and +full of good common sense. Indeed, as far as Church teaching went, they +were, to my mind, perfect. They stated doctrines and drew manifest +conclusions; but my people were not satisfied with them then; and I can +see now, thank God! that, with all their excellences, they were utterly +deficient in spiritual vitality. + +Their author was one whom I personally admired very much, but by his own +showing, in his "Apologia." he was a man who was searching not for God, +but for a Church. At length, when he grasped the ideal of what a Church +ought to be, he tried by the Oxford Tracts, especially No. XC, to raise +the Church of England to his standard; and failing in that, he became +dissatisfied, and went over to the Church of Rome. + +Once, when I arrived at a friend's house in the Lake district, I was +told that there was a most beautiful view of distant mountains to be +seen from my window. In the morning I lifted the blind to look, but only +saw an ordinary view of green fields, hedges, trees and a lake. There +was nothing else whatever to be seen. In the course of the day, a heavy +mist which had been hanging over the lake was dispersed, and then I saw +the beautiful mountains which before had been so completely veiled that +it was difficult to believe in their existence. + +So it was with me. I could see ecclesiastical things, but the more +glorious view of spiritual realities beyond them, in all their full and +vast expanse, was as yet hidden. + +Whether my extracts from Newman's Sermons were more pointed, or whether +I became more impatient with my congregation, I cannot tell, but it was +very evident that my words were beginning to take effect at last; for as +I went on preaching and protesting against the people and against +schism, my "bass viol" called on me one day, and said, "If you go on +preaching that doctrine, you will drive away the best part of your +congregation." "Excuse me," I answered, "not the best part; you mean the +worse part." "Well," ho said, "you will see." + +On the following Sunday, I gave out my text, and had scarcely read three +pages of my manuscript when I heard a voice say, "Now we will go." With +this, the "bass viol," the other fiddles, the clarionet, the ophicleide, +and the choir, came stumping down the gallery stairs, and marched out. +Some of the congregation followed their example, with the determination +never to come back to the Church again. I waited till the noise was +over, and then went on with my sermon meekly, and thought myself a +martyr for Church principles. + +I little thought that the people were being martyred; yet they were +right, and enlightened in the truth, while I was altogether in the dark, +and knew nothing about it. From this time there was a constant feud +between the parishioners and myself. I thought that they were +schismatics; and they knew that I was unconverted, and did not preach +the Gospel. + +One day, a Dissenter called to pay a burial fee for the funeral of his +child, which he had purposely omitted paying at the proper time because +he wished to tell me a piece of his mind. I was absent on the occasion +on some architectural or archaeological business, which was to me all +important. "I know," he said, "why you went away and would not bury my +child." "Do you?" I asked. "Yes; it was because I am a Dissenter." "Oh!" +I said, "I would bury you all to-morrow if I could; for you are no good, +and can do none either." + +This went round the parish like wildfire, and did not advance my +popularity or do my cause any good. + +Seriously at this time I thought that separation from the Church of +England was a most deadly sin--it was schism. Idolatry and murder were +sins against the Mosaic law; but this was a sin against the Church. I +little dreamt then that many of the people with whom I thus contended, +and whom I grieved so much, were real spiritual members of Christ, and +had only ceased to be members of the Church of England because I did not +preach the Gospel; that, in fact, I was the cause of their leaving the +services; that I was the schismatic, for I was separated from Christ: +they only, and that for a good reason, had separated from the communion +of the Church of England, which I misrepresented. + +The Church of England's teaching since the Reformation, like that of the +primitive Church, is based not on baptism, but conversion. Baptism was +intended according to the Lord's commandment (Matt 28:19), for the +purpose of making disciples*--that is, to graft members into the body of +Christ's Church outwardly. Whatever special grace is given to infants +and others at baptism, is given upon the condition of personal faith and +repentance. Until a baptized person has been enabled by the Holy Ghost +to repent and believe the Gospel, he is not really a new-born child of +God, or raised from death into life, though nominally, in the words of +the Catechism, he has "been made a child of God." + +__________________ + +* See Greek +___________________ + +Since the feuds and dissensions in my parish, the church was almost +deserted, and left chiefly to myself, my clerk, and a few poor people, +who, for the most part, were in ill favour in the chapels. + +One day I was absorbed in writing, or rather rewriting, a text over the +porch door of the church. It was, "This is none other but the house of +God, and this is the gate of heaven." A man who was standing at the foot +of the ladder said, "Heaven is a long way from that gate, I reckon." I +pretended not to hear him, but his speech stuck to me. I knew only too +well from this, and many other indications, that the people had no +respect for the church under my ministrations. + + +CHAPTER 5 + +The New Parish, 1846. + +About this time the news reached us that the Vicar was dead; and thus +ended my connection with Perranzabuloe. As the Dean and Chapter would +not appoint me to succeed, I had no alternative but to make arrangements +for my departure. + +In one sense I was not sorry to go; but for various other reasons I much +regretted having to leave a place where my health had been so +wonderfully restored and sustained, and in which I had received so many +tokens of God's favour. It is true that my labours were of an external +character; but these I thought most important, and did them with all my +might as unto the Lord. I took the work as from Him, and did it all to +Him, and for Him, thanking Him for any token of success or commendation +which I received. + +I also regretted leaving the place before I had done any good to the +people; for, with all my endeavours, I had not succeeded in persuading +them to receive my idea of salvation by churchmanship. + +However, the door was shut behind me; and this crisis happened at the +exact time of another important event in my life. I was just engaged to +be married, and therefore had an additional interest in looking for a +sphere of labour which would suit me, and also the partner of my choice, +who was in every respect likely to be an effectual helpmeet This was +soon found and we agreed together to give ourselves to the Lord's work +(as we thought) in it. + +One of the "Peel" districts in the neighbourhood of Truro, which I had +designed, called Baldhu, was on the Earl of Falmouth's estate: it came +to his Lordship's mind to take an interest in this desolate spot; so he +bought the patronage from the commissioners, and then offered it to me, +to Be made into a new parish. This I accepted, with many thanks, and +began immediately to dream about my plans for the future. + +It was a time of great distress in that place amongst the tenants, on +account of the failure of the potato crop; so his lordship employed some +hundreds of the men in breaking up the barren croft for planting trees; +there he gave me a good central site for a church. + +Now I made up my mind to have everything perfect, and with my own rules +and regulations, my surpliced choir, churchwardens, and frequent +services, all after my own heart, it could scarcely fall to be +otherwise. I thought that having free scope, mine should be a model +place. The district was in a barren part of a large palish; three +thousand souls had been assigned to me; and I was to go and civilize +them, build my church, school-house, and, indeed, establish everything +that was necessary. + +To begin with, I took a room which was used for a village school in the +week, and for a service on Sunday. This succeeded so well, that in a few +months I determined to enlarge the building in which we assembled, as +speedily as possible. Having made all necessary plans, and procured +stones, timber, and slate, we commenced operations at five o'clock one +Monday morning, and by Saturday night had a chancel (which I thought +most necessary) ready for Sunday use! + +All the world came to see this sudden erection. This temporary church +now held three hundred people; and with the addition of a new choir and +hearty service, it was a great success, or, at least, so I imagined, for +in those days I did not look for more. + +I entered upon my work here with renewed energy and sanguine hope. I +had, of course, gained more experience in the various duties of my +ministry, and had, moreover, a clearer perception, as I thought, how +sacramental teaching, under the authority of the Church, ought to work. +I preached on holy living, not conversion, for as yet I knew nothing +about the latter. + +In 1847, I went on a visit to a very remarkable man, who had a great +effect upon me in many ways. He was the Rev. Robert Hawker, of +Morwenstow, in the extreme north of Cornwall.* + +____________________ + +* See his "LIFE," by Rev. Baring Gould. +____________________ + + +This friend was a poet, and a High Churchman, from whom I learned many +practical lessons. He was a man who prayed, and expected an answer; he +had a wonderful perception for realizing unseen things, and took +Scripture literally, with startling effect. He certainly was most +eccentric in many of his ways; but there was a reality and +straightforwardness about him which charmed me very much; and I was the +more drawn to him, from the interest he took in me and my work. + +He knew many legends of holy men of old, and said that the patron saints +of West Cornwall were in the calendar of the Eastern Church, and those +in the north of Cornwall belonged to the Western. His own patron saint, +Morwenna, was a Saxon, and his church a Saxon fane. He talked of these +saints as if he knew all about them, and wrote of them in a volume of +poems thus:-- + +"They had their lodges in the wilderness, +And built them cells along the shadowy sea; +And there they dwelt with angels like a dream, +And filled the field of the evangelists +With thoughts as sweet as flowers." + +He used to give most thrilling and grand descriptions of the storms of +the Atlantic, which broke upon the rocky coast with gigantic force, and +tell thrilling stories of shipwrecks; how he saved the lives of some of +the sailors, and how he recovered the bodies of others he could not +save. Then in the churchyard he would show you--there, a broken boat +turned over the resting-place of some; here, two oars set up crosswise +over several others; and in another part the figure-head of a ship, to +mark the spot where the body of a captain was buried. + +The Vicarage house was as original as himself. Over the door was +inscribed-- + +"A house, a glebe, a pound a day; +A pleasant place to watch and pray. +Be true to Church, be kind to poor, +O minister, for evermore!" + +The interior was furnished with old-fashioned heavy furniture and the +outside was conspicuous for its remarkable chimneys, which were finished +off as models of the towers of churches where he had served. The kitchen +chimney, which was oblong, perplexed him very much, till (as he said) "I +bethought me of my mother's tomb; and there it is, in its exact shape +and dimensions!" + +He had daily service in his church, generally by himself, when he prayed +for the people. "I did not want them there." he said. "God hears me; and +they know when I am praying for them, for I ring the bell." + +He had much influence in his parish, chiefly amongst the poor, and +declared that his people did whatever he told them. They used to bring a +bunch of flowers or evergreens every Sunday morning, and set them up in +their pew ends, where a proper place was made to hold them. The whole +church was seated with carved oak benches, which he had bought from time +to time from other churches, when they were re-pewed with "deal boxes!" + +On the Sunday, I was asked to help him in the service, and for this +purpose was arrayed in an alb, plain, which was just like a cassock in +white linen. As I walked about in this garb, I asked a friend, "How do +you like it?" In an instant I was pounced upon, and grasped sternly on +the arm by the Vicar. "'Like' has nothing to do with it; is it right?" +He himself wore over his alb a chasuble, which was amber on one side and +green on the other, and was turned to suit the Church seasons; also a +pair of crimson-colored gloves, which, he contended, were the proper +sacrificial colour for a priest. + +I had very little to do in the service but to witness his proceedings, +which I observed with great attention, and even admiration. His +preaching struck me very much; he used to select the subject of his +sermon from the Gospel of the day all through the year. This happened to +be "Good Samaritan Sunday," so we had a discourse upon the "certain man +who went down from Jerusalem to Jericho," in which he told us that "the +poor wounded man was Adam's race; the priest who went by was the +Patriarchal dispensation; the Levite, the Mosaic; and the good Samaritan +represented Christ; the inn was the Church; and the twopence, the +Sacraments." + +He held his manuscript before his face, and read it out boldly, because +he "hated," as he said, "those fellows who read their sermons, and all +the time pretend to preach them;" and he especially abhorred those who +secreted notes in their Bibles: "Either have a book, sir, or none!" + +He had a great aversion to Low Church clergymen, and told me that his +stag Robin, who ranged on the lawn, had the same; and that once he +pinned one of them to the ground between his horns. The poor man cried +out in great fear; so he told Robin to let him go, which he did, but +stood and looked at the obnoxious individual as if he would like to have +him down again and frighten him, though he would not hurt him--"Robin +was kind-hearted." + +"This Evangelical," he continued, "had a tail coat; he was dressed like +an undertaker, sir. Once upon a time there was one like him travelling +in Egypt, with a similar coat and a tall hat; and the Arabs pursued him, +calling him the 'father of saucepans, with a slit tail.'" This part of +his speech was evidently meant for me, for I wore a hat and coat of this +description, finding it more convenient for the saddle, and for dining +out when I alighted. + +He persuaded me to wear a priestly garb like his, and gave me one of his +old cassocks for a pattern; this I succeeded in getting made to my +satisfaction, after considerable difficulty. + +I came back to my work full of new thoughts and plans, determined to do +what was "right" and this in spite of all fears, whether my own, or +those of others. + +I now began to think more of the reality of prayer, and of the meaning +of the services of the Church; I emphasized my words, and insisted upon +proper teaching. I also paid more attention to my sermons, having +hitherto disregarded them; for, as I said, "the Druids never preached; +they only worshipped." + +I help up my manuscript and read my sermon, like Mr. Hawker; and I wore +a square cap and cassock, instead of the "saucepan" and the "tails." +This costume I continued to wear for several years, though I was +frequently laughed at, and often pursued by boys, which was not +agreeable to flesh and blood; but it helped to separate me from the +world, and to make me feel that I was set apart as a priest to offer +sacrifice for the people. + +In course of time I began to make preparations for my permanent church. +I drew the designs for it, passed them, and obtained money enough to +begin to build. There was a grand ceremony at the stone-laying, and a +long procession. We had banners, chanting, and a number of surpliced +clergy, besides a large congregation. + +The Earl of Falmouth, who laid the stone, contributed a thousand pounds +towards the edifice; his mother gave three hundred pounds for a peal of +bells; and others of the gentry who were present contributed; so that +upwards of eighteen hundred pounds was promised that day. Just twelve +months after, July 20, 1848, the same company, with many others, and the +Bishop of Exeter (Phillpotts) came to consecrate the "beautiful church." + +In the meantime, between the stone-laying and the consecration, the +Parsonage house had been built, and, more than that, it was even +papered, furnished, and inhabited! Besides all this, there was a garden +made, and a doorway, after an ecclesiastical mode, leading into the +churchyard, with this inscription over it:-- + +"Be true to Church, +Be kind to poor, +O minister, for evermore." + +In this church there were super-altars, candles, triptych, and also a +painted window; organ, choir, and six bells; so that for those days it +was considered a very complete thing. "The priest of Baldhu," with his +cassock and square cap, was quite a character in his small way. He +preached in a surplice, of course, and propounded Church tactics, firmly +contending for the Church teaching. The Wesleyans and others had their +distinctive tenets, the Church must have hers: they had their members +enrolled, the Church must have hers; therefore he would have a "guild," +with the view of keeping his people together. Outwardly there was an +esprit de corps, and the parishioners came to church, and took an +interest in the proceedings; but it was easy to see that their hearts +were elsewhere. Still I went on, hoping against hope, "building from the +top" without any foundation, teaching people to live before they were +born! + + +CHAPTER 6 + +The Awakening, 1848-51. + +He more earnestly I wrought among the people, and the better I knew +them, the more I saw that the mere attachment to the Church, and +punctual attendance at the services or frequency of Communion, was not +sufficient. I wanted something deeper. I wanted to reach their hearts in +order to do them good. + +Whether this desire sprang up in the ordinary progress by which God was +imperceptibly leading me, or from a story I heard at a clerical meeting, +I know not--perhaps from both. My mind was evidently as ground prepared +to receive the warning. The story was about a dream a clergyman had. He +thought the Judgment day was come, and that there was, as it were, a +great visitation--greater than the Bishop's. The clergy were mustering, +and appeared in their gowns, but instead of being alone, they had part +of their congregations with them. Some had a few followers, others had +more, and some a great many; and ail these received a gracious smile +from the Judge when their names were called. The clergyman who dreamed +was waiting, as he supposed, with a large number of people at his back +When his turn came he went forward; but, as he approached, he saw that +the Judge's countenance was sad and dark. In a sudden impulse of +suspicion he looked back; and lo! there was no one behind him. He +stopped, not daring to go any further, and turning to look at the Judge, +saw that His countenance was full of wrath. This dream had such an +effect upon him that he began to attend to his parish and care for the +souls of his people. + +I also was beginning to see that I ought to care for the souls of my +people-at least, as much as I did for the services Of the Church. As a +priest, I had the power (so I thought) to give them absolution; and yet +none, alas! availed themselves of the opportunity. How could they have +forgiveness if they did not come to me? This absolution I believed to be +needful before coming to Holy Communion, and that it was, indeed, the +true preparation for that sacred ordinance. I used to speak privately to +the members of the Church Guild about this, and persuaded some of them +to come to me for confession and absolution: but I was restless, and +felt that I was doing good by stealth. Besides this, those whom I thus +absolved were not satisfied, for they said they could not rejoice in the +forgiveness of their sins as the Methodists did, or say that they were +pardoned. In this respect I was working upon most tender ground, but I +did not know what else to do. + +I used to spend hours and hours in my church alone in meditation and +prayer; and, while thinking, employed my hands in writing texts over the +windows and on the walls, and in painting ornamental borders above the +arches. I remember writing over the chancel arch, with much interest and +exultation, "Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our +God, and the power of His Christ." (Rev. 12:10). + +I imagined, in my sanguine hope, that the kingdom of Christ was come, +and that the "accuser of the brethren" was cast down. I thought I saw, +in the power of Christ given to His priests, such victory that nothing +could stand against it. So much for dwelling on a theory, right or +wrong, till it fills the mind. Yet I cannot say that all this was +without prayer. I did wait upon God, and thought my answers were from +Him; but I see now that I went to the Lord with an idol in my heart, and +that He answered me according to it (Ezek. 14:3). + +One day I saw a picture in a friend's house which attracted me during +the time I was waiting for him. It was nothing artistic, nor was it over +well drawn, but still it engaged my attention in a way for which I could +not account. When my friend came down we talked about other things; but +even after I left the house this picture haunted me. At night I lay +awake thinking about it--so much so, that I rose early the next morning, +and went to a bookseller's shop, where I bought a large sheet of +tracing-paper and pencil, and sent them out by the postman, with a note +to my friend, begging him to give me a tracing of the picture in +question. + +I had to wait for more than a fortnight before it arrived, and then how +great was my joy! I remember spreading a white cloth on my table, and +opening out the tracing-paper upon it; and there was the veritable +picture of the Good Shepherd! His countenance was loving and kind. With +one hand He was pushing aside the branch of a tree, though a great thorn +went right through it; and with the other He was extricating a sheep +which was entangled in the thorns. The poor thing was looking up in +helplessness, all spotted over with marks of its own blood, for it was +wounded in struggling to escape. Another thing which struck me in this +picture was that the tree was growing on the edge of a precipice, and +had it not been for it (the tree), with all the cruel wounds it +inflicted, the sheep would have gone over and perished. + +After considering this picture for a long time, I painted it in a larger +size on the wall of my church, just opposite the entrance door, so that +every one who came in might see it. I cannot describe the interest with +which I employed myself about this work; and when it was done, finding +that it wanted a good bold foreground, I selected a short text-"He came +to seek and to save that which was lost." + +God was speaking to me all this time about the Good Shepherd who gave +His life for me; but I did not hear Him, or suspect that I was lost, or +caught in any thorns, or hanging over a precipice; therefore, I did not +apply the subject to myself. Certainly, I remember that my thoughts +dwelt very much on forgiveness and salvation, but I preached that these +were to be had in and by the Church, which was as the Ark in which Noah +was saved. Baptism was the door of this Ark, and Holy Communion the +token of abiding in it; and all who were not inside were lost. What +would become of those outside the Church was a matter which greatly +perplexed me. I could not dare to say they would be lost forever; but +where could they be now? and what would become of them hereafter? I +longed to save John Bunyan; but he was such a determined schismatic that +it was impossible to make out a hope for him! Sometimes I was cheered by +the thought that he had been duly baptized in infancy, and that his +after-life was one of ignorance; but this opened the door too wide, and +made my theory of salvation by the Church a very vague and uncertain +thing. So deeply was the thought ingrained in my mind that one day I +baptized myself conditionally in the Church, for fear that I had not +been properly baptized in infancy, and consequently should be lost +hereafter. I had no idea that I was lost now; far from that, I thought I +was as safe as the Church herself, and that the gates of hell could not +prevail against me. + +I had many conversations with the earnest people in my parish, but they +were evidently resting, not where I was, but on something I did not +know. One very happy woman told me, "Ah! you went to college to larn the +Latin; but though I don't know a letter in the Book, yet I can read my +title clear to mansions in the skies." Another woman, whenever I went to +see her, made me read the story of her conversion, which was written out +in a copy-book. Several other, men and women, talked to me continually +about their "conversion." I often wondered what that was; but, as I did +not see much self-denial among these converted ones, and observed that +they did not attend God's House nor ever come to the Lord's table. I +thought conversion could not be of much consequence, or anything to be +desired. + +I little knew that I was the cause of their remaining away from church, +and from the Lord's table. One thoughtful man told me, "Cornish people +are too enlightened to go to church! A man must give up religion to go +there; only unconverted people and backsliders go to such a place!" Yet +this was a prayerful man. What did he mean? At various clerical meetings +I used to repeat these things, but still obtained no information or +satisfaction. + +I made it a rule to visit every house in my parish once a week, taking +from twelve to twenty each day, when I sought to enlighten the people by +leaving Church tracts, and even wrote some myself; but they would not +do. I found that the Religious Tract Society's publications were more +acceptable. To my great disappointment, I discovered too, that +Evangelical sermons drew the people, while sacramental topics did not +interest them. So, in my ardent desire to reach and do them good, I +procured several volumes of Evangelical sermons, and copied them, +putting in sometimes a negative to their statements, to make them, as I +thought, right. + +Now I began to see and feel that there was some good in preaching, and +used the pulpit intentionally, in order to communicate with my people, +carefully writing or compiling my sermons. But I must confess that I was +very nervous in my delivery, and frequently lost my place--sometimes +even myself; and this to the great confusion of the congregation. + +I will tell how it pleased the Lord to deliver me from this bondage of +nervousness, and enable me to open my lips so as to plainly speak out my +meaning. + +One day, a friend with whom I was staying was very late in coming down +to breakfast; so, while I was waiting, I employed myself in reading the +"Life of Bishop Shirley," of Sodor and Man. My eyes happened to fall on +a passage, describing a difficulty into which he fell by losing his +sermon on his way to a country church. When the prayers were over, and +the psalm was nearly sung, he put his hand into his pocket for his +manuscript, and, to his dismay, it was gone. There was no time to +continue his search; so he gave out a text, and preached, as he said, in +dependence upon God, and never wrote a sermon afterwards. + +When my friend came to breakfast, he asked me what I had been doing all +the morning. I told him. "Ah!" he said, quietly. "Why do you not preach +in dependence upon God and go without a book like that good man? .... I +preach like that!" I said in amazement, terrified at the very thought. +"Yes." he answered, mischievously, "You. Who needs to depend upon God +for this more than you do?" Seeing that I was perturbed at his +suggestion, he went on teasing me all breakfast time, and at last said, +"Well, what is your decision? Do you mean to preach in future in +dependence upon God?" I said, "Yes; I have made up my mind to begin next +Sunday." Now it was his turn to be terrified, and he did all he could to +dissuade me, saying, "You will make a fool of yourself!" "No fear of +that," I replied; "I do it already; I cannot be worse. No; I will begin +next Sunday!" + +I came back with the determination to keep my promise, but must confess +that I grew more and more uneasy as the time approached. However, on +Sunday, I went up into the pulpit, and spoke as well as I could, without +any notes, and found it far easier than I had feared. In the evening it +was still easier; and so I continued, week by week, gaining more +confidence, and have never written a sermon since that day--that is, to +preach it. Once I was tempted to take a book up into the pulpit, feeling +I had nothing to say, when something said to me, "Is that the way you +depend upon God?" Immediately I put the volume on the floor, and +standing on it, gave out my text, and preached without hesitation. This +going forward in dependence upon God has been a deliverance to me from +many a difficulty besides this one, and that through many years. + +One day I went, in my cassock and cap, to the shop of a man whom I +regarded as a dreadful schismatic. He sold the publications of the +Religious Tract Society. On entering, he appeared greatly pleased to see +me, and took unusual interest and pains in selecting tracts, giving me a +double portion for my money. His kindness was very embarrassing; and +when, on leaving, he followed me to the door, and said "God bless you!" +it gave me a great turn. A schismatic blessing a priest! This, indeed, +was an anomaly. I was ashamed to be seen coming out of the shop, and the +more so, because I had this large Evangelical parcel in my hand, I felt +as though everybody was looking at me. However, the tracts were very +acceptable at home, and in the parish. I even began to think there was +something good in them. So I cent for more. + +Three men, one after another, told me that they had been converted +through reading them. One of these said that "the tract I had given him +ought to be written in letters of gold;" and a few months after this +same man died most happily, rejoicing in the Lord, and leaving a bright +testimony behind. I mentioned the conversion of these three men to many +of my friends, and asked them for some explanation, but got none. Still, +the thought continually haunted me---What can this "conversion" be? + +I had made it a custom to pray about what I had to do, and anything I +could not understand; therefore I prayed about this. Just then (I +believe, in answer to prayer) a friend offered to lend me Southey's +"Life of Wesley," and said, "You will find it all about conversion;" and +a few days after came a tract, "John Berridge's Great Error Detected." +This tract was carefully marked in pencil, and had several questions +written in the margin. I found out that it came from a person to whom I +had given it, and who was anxious to know its meaning. + +I read it with much interest, for I saw that the first portion of the +history of Berridge corresponded with mine; but as I went on reading, I +wondered what he could mean by "Justification." What was that wonderful +thing which God did for him and for the souls of his people? What could +he mean by having his eyes opened to see himself a wretched, lost man? +What was "seeing the way of salvation"? He said that he had preached for +six years, and never brought a single soul to Christ; and for two years +more in another place, and had no success; but now, when he preached +Christ instead of the Church, people came from all parts, far and near, +to hear the sound of the glorious Gospel; and believers were added to +the Church continually. I grappled with this subject; but I could not, +by searching, find out anything, for I was in the dark, and knew not as +yet that I was blind, and needed the power of the Holy Spirit to awaken +and bring me to see myself a lost sinner. My soul was now all a stir on +this subject; but, as far as I can remember, I wanted the +information-not for myself; but because I thought I should then get hold +of the secret by which the Wesleyans and others caught and kept their +people, or rather my people. + +Soon after, my gardener, a good Churchman, and duly despised by his +neighbours for attaching himself to me and my teaching, fell seriously +ill. I sent him at once to the doctor, who pronounced him to be in a +miner's consumption, and gave no hope of his recovery. No sooner did he +realize his position, and see eternity before him, than all the Church +teaching I had given him failed to console or satisfy, and his heart +sank within him at the near prospect of death. In his distress of mind, +he did not send for me to come and pray with him, but actually sent for +a converted man, who lived in the next row of cottages. This man, +instead of building him up as I had done, went to work in the opposite +direction-to break him down; that was, to show my servant that he was a +lost sinner, and needed to come to Jesus just as he was, for pardon and +salvation. He was brought under deep conviction of sin, and eventually +found peace through the precious blood of Jesus. + +Immediately it spread all over the parish that "the parson's servant was +converted." The news soon reached me, but, instead of giving joy, +brought the most bitter disappointment and sorrow to my heart. Such was +the profound ignorance I was in! + +The poor man sent for me several times, but I could not make up my mind +to go near him. I felt far too much hurt to think that after all I had +taught him against schism, he should fall into so great an error. +However, he sent again and again, till at last his entreaties prevailed, +and I went. Instead of lying on his bed, a dying man, as I expected to +find him, he was walking about the room in a most joyful and ecstatic +state. "Oh, dear master!" he exclaimed, "I am so glad you are come! I am +so happy! My soul is saved, glory be to God!" "Come, John," I said, "sit +down and be quiet, and I will have a talk with you, and tell you what I +think." But John knew my thoughts quite well enough, so he burst out, +"Oh master! I am sure you do not know about this, or you would have told +me. I am quite sure you love me, and I love you--that I do! but, dear +master, you do not know this--I am praying for the Lord to show it to +you. I mean to pray till I die, and after that if I can, till you are +converted." He looked at me so lovingly, and seemed so truly happy, that +it was more than I could stand. Almost involuntarily, I made for the +door, and escaped before he could stop me. + +I went home greatly disturbed in my mind--altogether disappointed and +disgusted with my work among these Cornish people. "It is no use; they +never will be Churchmen!" I was as hopeless and miserable as I could be. +I felt that my superior teaching and practice had failed, and that the +inferior and, as I believed, unscriptural dogmas had prevailed. My +favourite and most promising Churchman had fallen, and was happy in his +fall; more than that, he was actually praying that I might fall too! + +I felt very jealous for the Church, and therefore felt deeply the +conversion of my gardener. Like the elder brother of the Prodigal Son, I +was grieved, and even angry, because he was restored to favour and joy. +The remonstrance of the father prevailed nothing to mollify his +feelings; in like manner, nothing seemed to give me any rest in this +crisis of my parochial work. I thought I would give up my parish and +church, and go and work in some more congenial soil; or else that I +would preach a set of sermons on the subject of schism, for perhaps I +had not sufficiently taught my people the danger of this great sin! + +Every parishioner I passed seemed to look at me as if he said, "So much +for your teaching! You will never convince us!" + + +CHAPTER 7 + +Conversion, 1851. + +This was a time of great disappointment and discouragement. Everything +had turned out so different to the expectation I had formed and +cherished on first coming to this place. I was then full of hope and +intended to carry all before me with great success, and I thought I did; +but, alas! there was a mistake somewhere, something was wrong. + +In those days, when I was building my new church, and talking about the +tower and spire we were going to erect, an elderly Christian lady who +was sitting in her wheel-chair, calmly listening to our conversation, +said, "Will you begin to build your spire from the top?"* It was a +strange question, but she evidently meant something, and looked for an +answer. I gave it, saying, "No, madam, not from the top, but from the +foundation." She replied, "That is right--that is right," and went on +with her knitting. + +_______________________ + + * See Tract, "Building from the Top," by Rev. W. Haslam +_______________________ + +This question was not asked in jest or in ignorance; it was like a +riddle. What did she mean? In a few years this lady passed away, but her +enigmatic words remained. No doubt she thought to herself that I was +beginning at the wrong end, while I went on talking of the choir, organ, +happy worship, and all the things that we were going to attempt in the +new church; that I was aiming at sanctification, without justification; +intending to teach people to be holy before they were saved and +pardoned. This is exactly what I was doing. I had planted the boards of +my tabernacle of worship, not in silver sockets (the silver of which had +been paid for redemption), but in the sand of the wilderness. In other +words, I was teaching people to worship God, who is a Spirit, not for +love of Him who gave His Son to die for them, but in the fervour and +enthusiasm of human nature. My superstructure was built on sand; and +hence the continual disappointment, and that last discouraging +overthrow. No wonder that my life was a failure, and my labours +ineffectual, inasmuch as my efforts were not put forth in faith. My work +was not done as a thank-offering, but rather as a meritorious effort to +obtain favour from God. + +Repentance towards God, however earnest and sincere, without faith +towards our Lord Jesus Christ, is not complete or satisfying. There may +be a change of mind and will, producing a change of actions, which are +done in order to pacify conscience, and to obtain God's favour in +return; but this is not enough. It is like preparing the Found without +sowing seed, and then being disappointed that there is no harvest. A +garden is not complete or successful unless the Found has been properly +prepared, nor unless flourishing plants are growing in it. + +Repentance with Faith, the two together, constitute the fullness of +God's religion. We have to believe, not in the fact that we have given +ourselves--we know this in our own consciousness--but in the fact that +God, who is more willing to take than we to give, has accepted us. We +rejoice and work, not as persons who have surrendered ourselves to God, +but out of loving gratitude, as those who have been changed by Him to +this end. + +I will go on now to tell how I was brought at this critical period of my +life to real faith towards our Lord Jesus Christ. This was done in a way +I knew not, and moreover, in a way I little expected. I had promised a +visit to Mr. Aitken, of Pendeen, to advise him about his church, which +was then building; and now, in order to divert my thoughts, I made up my +mind to go to him at once. Soon after my arrival, as we were seated +comfortably by the fire, he asked me (as he very commonly did) how the +parish prospered. He said, "I often take shame to myself when I think of +all your work. But, my brother, are you satisfied?" + +I said, "No, I am not satisfied."* + +"Why not?" + +"Because I am making a rope of sand, which looks very well till I pull, +and then, when I expect it to hold, it gives way." + +"What do you mean?" + +"Why," I replied, "these Cornish people are ingrained schismatics." + +I then told him of my gardener's conversion, and my great +disappointment. + +"Well," he said, "if I were taken ill, I certainly would not send for +you. I am sure you could not do me any good, for you are not converted +yourself." + +"Not converted!" I exclaimed. "How can you tell?" + +He said, quietly, "I am sure of it, or you would not have come here to +complain of your gardener. If you had been converted, you would have +remained at home to rejoice with him. It is very clear you are not +converted!" + +____________________________ + +* See Tract, "Are You Satisfied?" by Rev. W. Haslam. +___________________________ + +I was vexed with him for saying that, and attempted to dispute the +point; but he was calm and confident; while I, on the other hand, was +uneasy, and trying to justify myself. + +In the course of our conversation, he said, "You do not seem to know the +difference between the natural conscience and the work of the Spirit." +Here he had me, for I only knew of one thing, and he referred to two. +However, we battled on till nearly two o'clock in the morning, and then +he showed me to my bed-room. Pointing to the bed, he said (in a voice +full of meaning), "Ah! a very holy man of God died there a short time +since." This did not add to my comfort or induce sleep, for I was +already much disturbed by the conversation we had had, and did not enjoy +the idea of going to bed and sleeping where one had so lately died--even +though he was a holy man. Resolving to sit up, I looked round the room, +and seeing some books on the table, took up one, which happened to be +Hare's "Mission of the Comforter." Almost the first page I glanced at +told the difference between the natural conscience and the work of the +Spirit. This I read and re-read till I understood its meaning. + +The next morning as soon as breakfast was finished, I resumed the +conversation of the previous night with the additional light I had +gained on the subject. We had not talked long before Mr. Aitken said, +"Ah, my brother, you have changed your ground since last night!" + +I at once confessed that I had been reading Hare's book, which he did +not know was in my room, nor even in the house. He was curious to see +it. + +He then challenged me on another point, and said, "Have you peace with +God?" I answered, without hesitation, "Yes,"---for, for eight years or +more I had regarded God as my Friend. Mr. A. went on to ask me, "How did +you get peace?" "Oh," I said, "I have it continually. I get it at the +Daily Service, I get it through prayer and reading, and especially at +the Holy Communion. I have made it a rule to carry my sins there every +Sunday, and have often come away from that holy sacrament feeling as +happy and free as a bird." My friend looked surprised, but did not +dispute this part of my experience. He contented himself by asking me +quietly, "And how long does your peace last?" This question made me +think. I said, "I suppose, not a week, for I have to do the same thing +every Sunday." He replied, "I thought so." Opening the Bible, he found +the fourth chapter of St. John, and read, "'Whosoever drinketh of this +water shall thirst again.' The woman of Samaria drew water for herself +at Jacob's well, and quenched her thirst; but she had to come again and +again to the same well. She had no idea of getting water, except by +drawing, any more than you have of getting peace excepting through the +means you use. The Lord said to her, 'If thou knewest the gift of God, +and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have +asked of Him, and He would have given thee living water,' which would be +'a well of water springing up into everlasting life'" (John 4:10-14). My +friend pointed out the difference between getting water by drawing from +a well, and having a living well within you springing up. + +I said, "I never heard of such a thing." + +"I suppose not," he answered. + +"Have you this living water?" I continued. + +"Yes, thank God, I have had it for the last thirty years." + +"How did you get it?" + +"Look here," he said, pointing to the tenth verse: "You wouldest have +asked of Him, and He would have given thee living water." "Shall we ask +Him?" I said. + +He answered, "With all my heart;" and immediately pushing back his +chair, knelt down at his round table, and I knelt on the opposite side. +What he prayed for I do not know. I was completely overcome, and melted +to tears. I sat down on the ground, sobbing, while he shouted aloud, +praising God. + +As soon as I could get up, I made for the door, and taking my hat, coat, +and umbrella, said that "I was really afraid to stay any longer." With +this I took my departure, leaving my carpet-bag behind. It was seven +miles to Penzance, but in my excitement I walked and ran all the way, +and arrived there before the coach, which was to have called for me, but +brought my carpet-bag instead. In the meantime, while I was waiting for +it, I saw a pamphlet, by Mr. Aitken, in a shop window, which I bought, +and got into the train to return to Baldhu. My mind was in such a +distracted state, that I sought relief in reading. I had not long been +doing so, when I came to a paragraph in italics: "Then shall He say unto +them, Depart from Me; I never knew you." The question arrested me, "What +if He says that to you? Ah, that is not likely. But, what if He does? It +cannot be. I have given up the world; I love God; I visit the sick; I +have daily service and weekly communion. But, what if He does?--what if +He does? I could not bear the thought; it seemed to overwhelm me." + +As I read the pamphlet, I saw that the words were spoken to persons who +were taken by surprise. So should I be. They were able to say, "We have +eaten and drunk in Thy presence, and Thou has taught in our streets: in +Thy name we have cast out devils, and done many wonderful works." Yet, +with all this, He replied, "Depart from Me, I never knew you." I did not +see how I could escape, if such men as these were to be rejected. + +Conviction was laying hold upon me, and the circle was becoming +narrower. The thought pressed heavily upon me, "What a dreadful thing, +if I am wrong!" Added to this, I trembled to think of those I had +misled. "Can it be true? Is it so?" I remembered some I had watched over +most zealously, lest the Dissenters should come and pray with them. I +had sent them out of the world resting upon a false hope, administering +the sacrament to them for want of knowing any other way of bringing them +into God's favour. I used to grieve over any parishioner who died +without the last sacrament, and often wondered how it would fare with +Dissenters! + +My mind was in a revolution. I do not remember how I got home. I felt as +if I were out on the dark, boundless ocean, without light, or oar, or +rudder. I endured the greatest agony of mind for the souls I had misled, +though I had done it ignorantly. "They are gone, and lost forever!" I +justly deserved to go also. My distress seemed greater than I could +bear. A tremendous storm of wind, rain and thunder, which was raining at +the time, was quite in sympathy with my feelings. I could not rest. +Looking at the graves of some of my faithful Churchmen, I wondered, "Is +it really true that they are now cursing me for having misled them?" + +Thursday. Friday, and Saturday passed by, each day and night more dark +and despairing than the preceding one. On the Sunday, I was so ill that +I was quite unfit to take the service. Mr. Aitken had said to me, "If I +were you, I would shut the church, and say to the congregation, 'I will +not preach again till I am converted. Pray for me!'" Shall I do this? + +The sun was shining brightly, and before I could make up my mind to put +off the service, the bells struck out a merry peal, and sent their +summons far away over the hills. Now the thought came to me that I would +go to church and read the morning prayers and after that dismiss the +people. There was no preparation for the Holy Communion that day, and I +had deputed the clerk to select the hymns, for I was far too ill to +attend to anything myself. The psalms and hymns were especially +applicable to my case, and seemed to help me, so that I thought I would +go on and read the ante-communion service, and then dismiss the people. +And while I was reading the Gospel, I thought, well, I will just say a +few words in explanation of this, and then I will dismiss them. So I +went up into the pulpit and gave out my text. I took it from the gospel +of the day--"What think ye of Christ?" (Matt. 22:42). + +As I went on to explain the passage, I saw that the Pharisees and +scribes did not know that Christ was the Son of God, or that He was come +to save them. They were looking for a king, the son of David, to reign +over them as they were. Something was telling me, all the time, "You are +no better than the Pharisees yourself-you do not believe that He is the +Son of God, and that He is come to save you, any more than they did." I +do not remember all I said, but I felt a wonderful light and joy coming +into my soul, and I was beginning to see what the Pharisees did not. +Whether it was something in my words, or my manner, or my look, I know +not; but all of a sudden a local preacher, who happened to be in the +congregation, stood up, and putting up his arms, shouted out in a +Cornish manner, "The parson is converted! The parson is converted! +Hallelujah!" and in another moment his voice was lost in the shouts and +praises of three or four hundred of the congregation. Instead of +rebuking this extraordinary "brawling," as I should have done in a +former time, I joined in the outburst of praise; and to make it more +orderly, I gave out the Doxology--"Praise God, from whom all blessings +flow"--and the people sang it with heart and voice, over and over again. +My Churchmen were dismayed, and many of them fled precipitately from the +place. Still the voice of praise went on, and was swelled by numbers of +passers-by, who came into the church, greatly surprised to hear and see +what was going on. + +When this subsided, I found at least twenty people crying for mercy, +whose voices had not been heard in the excitement and noise of +thanksgiving. They all professed to find peace and joy in believing. +Amongst this number there were three from my own house; and we returned +home praising God. + +The news spread in all directions that "the parson was converted," and +that by his own sermon, in his own pulpit to. The church would not hold +the crowds who came in the evening. I cannot exactly remember what I +preached about on that occasion; but one thing I said was, "that if I +had died last week I should have been lost for ever." I felt it was +true. So clear and vivid was the conviction through which I had passed, +and so distinct was the light into which the Lord had brought me, that I +knew and was sure that He had "brought me up out of an horrible pit, out +of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a Rock, and put a new song into +my mouth" (Ps. 40). He had "quickened" me, who was before "dead in +trespasses and sins," (Eph. 2:1). + +I felt sure, as I said, that if I had died last week I should have been +lost for ever. This was a startling and an alarming word to many of my +earnest people, who said, "What then will become of us?" I replied, "You +will be lost for a certainty if you do not give your hearts to God." + +At the end of this great and eventful day of my life--my spiritual +birthday, on which I passed from death to life by being "born from +above"--I could scarcely sleep for joy. I awoke early the next morning, +with the impression on my mind that I must get up and go to a village a +mile off to tell James B---- of my conversion. He was a good and holy +man, who had often spoken to me about my soul; and had been praying for +three years or more on my behalf. + +I had scarcely gone half-way before I met him coming towards me: he +seemed as much surprised to see me as I was to meet him. He looked at me +in a strange way, and then, leaning his back against a stone fence, he +said, "Are you converted?" + +"Why do you ask me?" I replied. "I am just on my way to your house, to +tell you the good news--that I have found peace. My soul is saved." + +The dear man said, "Thank God!" and it came from the very depths of his +heart. Shedding tears of joy, he went on to say, 'This night I woke up +thinking of you; you were so strongly in my mind, that I got up and +began to pray for you; but I could not 'get hold;' I wrestled and cried +aloud, but it was all of no avail; I begged the Lord not to give you up; +but it seemed I could not pray. After trying for more than two hours, it +came to my mind that perhaps you were converted. This thought made me so +happy, that I began to praise the Lord; and then I had liberty, and +shouted so loud that it roused up the whole house, and they came rushing +into my room to know what ever was the matter with me. 'I am praising +God,' I said; 'praising God--the parson is converted!--I feel sure he +is. Glory be to God! Glory be to God!' They said, 'You must be dreaming; +you had better lie down again, and be quiet.' But it was of no use, I +could not sleep; and so soon as the light began to break, I dressed +myself, and have come out to see whether it is true," + +"Yes," I said, "it is true; the Lord has saved my soul; I am happy!" I +thanked him then and there for all the help he had been, and for the +patience he had so long exercised towards me. We spent a happy time +together, thanking and praising God, and then he returned home to tell +his friends and neighbours the news. + +After breakfast a visitor arrived, who was on an errand of quite another +kind. The report had by this time spread far and wide, that I was +converted in my own pulpit, and by means of my own sermon; also, that I +had said, "If I had died last week, I should have been lost for ever!" +My friend having heard this, immediately mounted his horse and rode over +to see me about it. He at once put the question, "Did you say, last +night, in your pulpit, that you were saved; and that if you had died +last week you would have been lost for ever?" I answered, "Yes, indeed, +I did; and I meant it." He looked quite bewildered, and stood for a long +time arguing with me; then taking a chair he sat down, and began to +sympathize and pity me, saying how grieved he was, for he could see +madness in my eyes. He tried to divert my thoughts, and begged that I +would go out for a ride with him. Seeing that he made no impression by +his various arguments, and that he could not prevail upon me to recall +my words, he ordered his horse; but before mounting he said, "I cannot +agree with you, and will oppose you as hard as I can." + +"Very well," I replied; "but let us shake hands over it: there is no +need that we should be angry with one another." + +Then mounting, he started off, and had not gone more than a few yards, +when, suddenly pulling up, he turned, and placing his hand on the back +of his horse, called out, "Haslam, God stop the man who is wrong!" I +answered, "Amen," and off he trotted. + +On the Friday following he broke a blood-vessel in his throat or chest, +and has never preached since. His life was in danger for Several weeks, +though in course of time he recovered, but I have heard that he has +never been able to speak above a whisper. God has most undoubtedly +stopped him; while He has permitted me to preach for the last +nine-and-twenty years, on the average more than six hundred times a +year. + +From that time I began to preach the Gospel, and was not ashamed to +declare everywhere what the Lord had done for my soul. Thus from +personal experience I have been enabled to proclaim the Word, both as a +"witness" and a "minister." + +I, who before that time used to be so weak, that I could not preach for +more than fifteen or twenty minutes for three consecutive Sundays +without breaking down, was now able to do so each day, often more than +once, and three times every Sunday. + + +CHAPTER 8 + +The Revival, 1851-54. + +In the providence of God, my conversion was the beginning of a great +revival work in my parish, which continued without much interruption for +nearly three years. At some periods during that time there was a greater +power of the divine presence, and consequently more manifest results, +than at others; but all along there were conversions of sinners or +restoration of backsliders every week--indeed, almost every day. + +I was carried along with the torrent of the work, far over and beyond +several barriers of prejudice which had been in my mind. For instance, I +made a resolution that if I ever had a work of God in my parish, it +should be according to rule, and that the people should not be excited +into making a noise, as if God were deaf or afar off; also, that I would +prevent their throwing themselves into extraordinary states of mind and +body, as though it were necessary that they should do so in order to +obtain a blessing. I intended to have everything in most beautiful and +exemplary order, and that all should be done as quietly and with as much +precision as the working of a machine. No shouting of praises, no loud +praying, no hearty responding; and, above all, no extravagant crying for +mercy, such as I had witnessed in Mr. Aitken's parish. + +But notwithstanding my prudence and judicious resolutions, "the wind +blew as it listed; we heard the sound thereof, but could not tell whence +it came, or whither it went" (John 3: 8). In spite of all my prejudices, +souls were quickened and born of the Spirit. I was filled with +rejoicing, and my heart overflowed with joy to see something doing for +the Lord. + +Anything is better than the stillness of death, however aesthetic and +beautiful, however reverential and devout a mere outward ceremonial may +appear. Imposing pageants and religious displays may excite enthusiastic +religiosity or devotionism; but they do not, and never can, promote +spiritual vitality. Far from this, they draw the heart and mind into a +channel of human religion, where it can sometimes over-flow to its own +satisfaction; but they never bring a sinner to see himself lost, or, +unworthy by nature to be a worshipper, and consequently, as such, +utterly unfit to take any part in religious ceremonies. + +On the Monday after my conversion we had our first week-day revival +service in the church, which was filled to excess. In the sermon, I told +them once more that God had "brought me up out of an horrible pit, out +of the miry clay, and set my feet upon the Rock, and... put a new song +in my mouth" (Ps. 40:2-3). I had not spoken long, when some one in the +congregation gave a shriek, and then began to cry aloud for mercy. This +was quickly followed by cries from another and another, until preaching +was altogether hopeless. We then commenced praying for those who were in +distress, and some experienced men who were present dealt with the +anxious. + +I cannot tell how many people cried for mercy, or how many found peace +that night; but there was great rejoicing. I, who was still in my +grave-clothes, though out of the grave, was sorely offended at people +praying and praising God so heartily and so loudly in the church. I +thought that if this was to become a regular thing, it would be akin to +"brawling," and quite out of order. Practising singing and rehearsing +anthems in the church, I did not think much about; but somehow, for +people to cry out in distress of soul, and to praise God out of the +abundance of their hearts, was too much for me. I was sadly perplexed! + +At the close of the service, I told the people I would have a short one +again the next evening, in the church, and that after that we would go +into the schoolroom for the prayer-meeting. Thus ended the second day of +my spiritual life. + +On Tuesday evening we assembled in the church, and then went to the +schoolroom for the after-meeting. There the people had full liberty to +sing, praise, and shout too, if they desired, to their hearts' content, +and truly many availed themselves of the opportunity. In Cornwall, at +the time I speak of (now twenty-nine years ago), Cornish folk did not +think much of a meeting unless it was an exciting and noisy one. + +In this schoolroom, evening by evening, the Lord wrought a great work, +and showed forth His power in saving many souls. I have seldom read of +any remarkable manifestations in revivals the counterpart of which I did +not witness in that room; and I saw some things there which I have never +heard of as taking place anywhere else. I was by this time not afraid of +a little, or even much noise, so long as the power of the Lord's +presence was evident. The shouts of the people did not hinder me, of +their loud praying, or their hearty responses. + +There were some subjects on which it was impossible to venture without +eliciting vehement demonstrations. A friend of mine, who had come from +some distance on a visit, went with me on one occasion to an afternoon +Bible class. I asked him to address the people, and in a quiet way he +proceeded to talk about heaven. As he described the city of gold, with +its pearly gates, its walls of jasper, its foundations of sapphire and +precious stones, and to tell them that "the city had no need of the sun, +neither of the moon, to shine in it; for the glory of God did lighten +it, and the Lamb is the light thereof" (Rev. 21:2-3), I began to feel +somewhat uneasy, and feared that he was venturing on tender ground, when +all at once there was heard a shriek of joy, and in a moment almost the +whole class was in an ecstasy of praise. My friend was greatly dismayed, +and also frightened at the noise, and seizing his hat, he made hastily +for the door. "Stop! stop!" I said; "you must stand fire better than +that." I quietly gave out a hymn, and asked some of them to help me +sing, and then we knelt down to pray. I prayed in a low voice, and soon +all was still again, excepting the responsive "Amens," and the gaspings +of those who had been thus excited. + +It may be asked, why did I permit such things? I lived amongst a people +who were accustomed to outward demonstrations; and by descending to them +in their ways I was enabled to lead many of them to higher things, and +to teach them to rest not so much on their feelings, as on the facts and +truth revealed in the Word of God. But theorize as we would, it was just +a question, in many cases, of no work, or of decided manifestation. We +could not help people being stricken down, neither could they help it +themselves; often the most unlikely persons were overcome and became +excited, and persons naturally quiet and retiring proved the most noisy +and demonstrative. However, it was our joy to see permanent results +afterwards, which more than reconciled us for any amount of +inconvenience we had felt at the time. + +When the power of God is manifestly present, the persons who hear the +noise, as well as those who make it, are both under the same influence, +and are in sympathy with one another. An outsider, who does not +understand it, and is not in sympathy, might complain, and be greatly +scandalized. For my own part, I was intensely happy in those meetings, +and had become so accustomed to the loud "Amens," that I found it very +dull to preach when there was no response. Prayer meetings which were +carried on in a quiet and formal manner seemed to me cold and heartless. +"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great +waters; these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep" +(Ps. 107:23, 24). Some spiritual mariners never venture out of a calm +millpond, and rejoice in very quiet proceedings; they do not look like +rejoicing at all. They resemble the people who are going through a +formal duty, and, "like a painted ship upon a painted ocean," they are +never tossed. Most undeniable it is that many trying things happen in +the excitement of a storm. + +I was hardened against criticism, and only wished that my criticizing +friends could show me a more effectual way of working, and a way in +which God's glory might be advanced, without giving offence. + +The very remembrance of these times warms my heart as I write; and +though I do not know whether I am still young enough to enter into such +things in the same way, yet I am sure that the manifest presence of the +Lord, under any circumstances, would still stir and rejoice my spirit. +My friend Mr. Aitken used to rise above it all most majestically, and +shout as loud as the loudest. It was grand to see his great soul at full +liberty rejoicing in the Lord. He was quite at home in the noisiest and +stormiest meetings, and no doubt he thought me a promising disciple, and +a very happy one, too. + +Oh, what tremendous scenes we witnessed whenever Mr. Aitken came to +preach at Baldhu. The church, which was built to hold six hundred, used +to have as many as fifteen hundred packed into it. Not only were the +wide passages crowded, and the chancel filled, even up to the communion +table, but there were two rows of occupants in every pew. The Feat man +was king over their souls, for at times he seemed as if he was endued +with power whereby he could make them shout for joy, or howl for misery, +or cry aloud for mercy. He was by far the most effective preacher I ever +heard, or ever expect to hear. Souls were awakened by scores whenever he +preached, and sometimes the meetings continued far into the night, and +occasionally even to the daylight of the next morning. + +To the cool, dispassionate outside observers and the newspaper +reporters, all this vehement stir was very extravagant and +incomprehensible, and no doubt they thought it was done for excitement; +certainly they gave us credit for that, and a great deal more. They did +not esteem us better than themselves and consequently we had the full +benefit of their sarcasm and invective. + +Cornish revivals were things by themselves. I have read of such stirring +movements occurring occasionally in different places elsewhere, but in +Cornwall they were frequent. Every year, in one part or another, a +revival would spring up, during which believers were refreshed and +sinners awakened. It is sometimes suggested that there is a great deal +of the flesh in these things--more of this than of the Spirit. I am sure +this is a mistake, for I am quite satisfied that neither Cornish nor any +other people could produce revivals without the power of the Spirit, for +they would never be without them if they could raise them at pleasure. +But, as a fact, it is well known that revivals begin and continue for a +time, and that they cease as mysteriously as they began. + +Sometimes I have known the children of the school commence crying for no +ostensible reason; when a few words about the love of God in giving His +Son, or the love of Christ in laying down His life, would prove enough +to kindle a flame, and they would begin to cry aloud for mercy +forthwith. I have seen a whole school of more than a hundred children +like this at the same time. An awakening of such a character was +generally a token of the beginning of a work of God, which would last in +power for four or five weeks, if not more; then the quiet, ordinary work +would go on as before. Sometimes, for no accountable reason, we saw the +church thronged with a multitude of people from various parts, having no +connection with one another, all equally surprised to see each other; +and the regular congregation more surprised still to see the unexpected +rush of strangers. After a time or two we began to know the cause, and +understood that the coming together of the people was by the Spirit of +the Lord, and so we prepared accordingly, expecting a revival to follow. + +On these occasions it was very easy to preach, or pray, or sing; we had +only to say, "Stay here, or go to the schoolroom;" "Stand and sing;" or, +"Kneel and pray;" and it was done at once: such was the power of the +Spirit in melting the hears of the people into entire submission for the +time. + + +CHAPTER 9 + +The Visitor, 1851. + +In the midst of these things, we had a scene quite characteristic of +Cornwall, which was the funeral of my late gardener and friend, John +Gill. This man's conversion, it will be remembered, was the event by +which it pleased God to bring my religious state to a crisis. After my +sudden exit from John's cottage, which I have already described, he +continued to pray for me, as he said he would, until the following +Sunday, when he heard of my conversion. Then he praised God, and that +with amazing power of mind and body for a dying man. Day by day, as his +life was prolonged, he was eager to hear of the progress of the work. + +At last the day of his departure arrived, and he was quite content and +happy to go. A large concourse of people assembled at the funeral, +dressed in their Sunday best. They gathered by hundreds in front of +John's cottage, several hours before the time fixed for the service. +During this interval they sang hymns, which were given out two lines at +a time. Then they set out for the church, singing as they went along. + +In the West it is not the custom to carry the coffin on the shoulders, +but by hand, which office is performed by friends, who continually +relieve one another, that all may take part in this last mark of respect +to the deceased. At length, they arrived at the "lych" gate, and setting +the coffin upon the lych stone (a heavy slab of granite, put there for +the purpose), they sang their final hymn. At the conclusion of this, I +came out with my clerk to receive the funeral party and to conduct them +into the church. After the service I was about to give an address, when +I was told that there were more people outside than within the church. +In order, therefore, not to disappoint them, we came to the grave-side +in the churchyard, and from thence I addressed a great concourse of +people. + +I told them of dear John's conversion, and of my disappointment and +distress on account of it; then of my own conversion, and John's +unbounded joy; taking the opportunity to enforce the absolute necessity +of this spiritual change, and the certain damnation of those who die +without it. + +This funeral caused a solemn feeling, and as the people lingered about, +we re-entered the church, and further improved the occasion. Then we +went to the schoolroom for a prayer-meeting, and many souls were added +to the number of the saved. + +Among the strangers present was a gentleman who had come all the way +from Plymouth, in order to witness for himself the wonderful work, of +which he had read an account in the newspaper. After attending several +of our services, he came up to speak to me, and said that he had seen an +account of "the fall of a High Churchman into Dissent," which was +regarded as a very extraordinary thing, for at that time some Dissenters +were becoming High Churchmen, or what used to be called then +"Puseyites." Having seen me, and heard for himself of my conversion, and +my adherence to the Church, he was satisfied, and asked me to spare time +for a little conversation with him. + +He came to my house the next morning, and commenced by asking, "Do you +really think you would have been lost for ever, if you had died before +you were converted?" This he said looking me full in the face, as if to +see whether I flinched from my position. I answered, "Most certainly; +without a doubt." + +"Remember," he said, calmly, "you have been baptized and confirmed; you +are a communicant, and have been ordained; do you really think that all +this goes for nothing?" + +"Most assuredly, all these things are good in their place, and fully +avail for their respective purposes, but they have nothing whatever to +do with a sinner's salvation." + +"Do you mean to say," he continued, "that the Church is not the very ark +of salvation?" + +"I used to think so," I replied, "and to say that 'there was no Church +without a Bishop, and no salvation out of the Church;' but now I am sure +that I was mistaken. The outward Church is a fold for protecting the +sheep; but the Church is not the Shepherd who seeks and finds the lost +sheep." + +"Well," he said, "but think of all the good men you condemn if you take +that position so absolutely." + +Seeing that I hesitated, he went on to say that he "knew many very good +men, in and out of the Church of England, who did not think much of +conversion, or believe in the necessity of it." + +"I am very sorry for them," I replied; "but I cannot go back from the +position into which, I thank God, He has brought me. It is burned into +me that, except a man is converted, he will and must be lost for ever." +"Come, come, my young friend," he said, shifting his chair, and then +sitting down to another onslaught, "do you mean to say that a man will +go to hell if he is not converted, as you call it?" + +"Yes, I do; and I am quite sure that if I had died in an unconverted +state I should have gone there; and this compels me to believe, also, +that what the Scripture says about it is true for every one." + +"But what does the Scripture say?" he interposed. "It says that 'he that +believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed' (John +3:18); and in another place, 'tie that believeth not shall be damned' +(Mark 16:16). As surely as the believer is saved and goes to heaven, as +surely the unbeliever is lost and must So to hell." + +"Do you mean Gehenna, the place of torment?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"This is very dreadful." + +"More dreadful still." I said, "must be the solemn reality; and +therefore, instead of shrinking from the thought and putting it off, I +rather let it stir and rouse me to warn unbelievers, so that I may, by +any means, stop them on their dangerous path. I think this is the only +true and faithful way of showing kindness; and that, on the other hand, +it is the most selfish, heartless, and cruel unkindness to let sinners, +whether they are religious, moral, reformed, or otherwise, to go on in +an unconverted state, and perish." + +"Do you believe, then," said my visitor, "in the fire of hell? Do you +think it is a material fire?" + +"I do not know; I do not wish to know anything about it. I suppose +material fire, like every other material thing, is but a shadow of +something real. Is it not a fire which shall burn the soul--a fire that +never will be quenched--where the worm will never die?" + +"Do you really believe all this?" + +"Yes," I said, "and I have reason to do so." I remembered the anguish of +soul I passed through when I was under conviction, and the terrible +distress I felt for others whom I had misled. "When our blessed Lord was +speaking to the Jews, and warning them against their unbelief and its +fearful consequences, He did not allow any 'charitable hopes' to hinder +Him from speaking the whole truth. He told them of Lazarus, who died, +and went to Paradise, or Abraham's bosom; and of Dives, who died, and +went to Hell, the place of torment" (Luke 16). + +"But," he said, interrupting me, "that is only a parable, or figure of +speech." + +"Figure of speech!" I repeated. "Is it a figure of speech that the rich +man fared sumptuously, that he died, that he was buried? Is not that +literal? Why, then, is it a figure of speech that he lifted up his eyes +in torment, and said, 'I am tormented in this flame'(Luke 16:24). My +dear friend, be sure that there is an awful reality in that story--a +most solemn reality in the fact of the impassable gulf. If here we do +not believe in this gulf, we shall have to know of it hereafter. I never +saw and felt," I continued, "as I do now, that every man is lost, even +while on earth, until he is saved, and that if he dies in that unsaved +state he will be lost for ever." + +My unknown visitor remained silent for a little time, and I could see +that he was in tears. At last he burst out and said, "I am sure you are +right. I came to try you upon the three great "R's"--'Ruin,' +'Redemption,' and 'Regeneration,' and to see if you really meant what +you preached. Now I feel more confirmed in the truth and reality of the +Scriptures." I thought I had been contending with an unbeliever all +along, but instead of this I found that he was a man who scarcely +ventured to think out what he believed to its ultimate result--he +believed God's Word, but, like too many, alas! held it loosely. + +This gentleman had experienced the truth of the three "R's"--that is to +say, he had been awakened to know himself to be lost and ruined by the +fall, redeemed by the blood of Christ, and regenerated by the Holy +Ghost. In other words, he had been converted, and he knew it. + +I found out that at the time of his conversion he was a beneficed +clergyman, and that, as such, not being responsible to any rector or +vicar, he began to preach boldly the things he had seen. His changed +preaching produced a manifest result, and the people were awakened, even +startled, and it would appear he was startled too. Instead of thanking +God and taking courage, he became alarmed at the disturbance amongst his +congregation, and finding that his preaching made him very unpopular, he +was weak enough to change his tone, and speak smooth things. Thus he +made peace with his congregation, and gained their treacherous good +will; but as a living soul he could not be satisfied with this state of +things. He knew that he was not faithful to God or to his people; so +being a man of competent means, he resigned his living, and retired into +private life--"beloved and respected," as they said, for being a good +and peaceable man. + +At this distance of time I continue to thank God for his visit to me; it +helped to fix the truth more firmly in my own soul, and to confirm me in +the course in which I was working, and even contending, in the face of +much opposition. I must say that I have had no reason to waver in my +conviction, and still feel that I would not, for ten times that man's +wealth, and twenty times the amount of good-will which he enjoyed (if he +did enjoy it), stand in his place. + +After long observation, I perceive that it is not the sword of the Word +which offends congregations, for preachers are commended and promoted +for declaring the whole truth, so long as it is judiciously put, and +with "much discretion," so as not to wound the prejudices of the people. +The majority of congregations rather like to see the sword drawn out to +its full length and flashed with dexterity, and they do not always +object to being hit with it, and even hit hard, so long as it is done +with the flat of the sword; but they very quickly resent a touch with +its edge, and more a thrust with its point. They admire sheet lightning, +which is beautiful, as it is harmless; but forked lightning is something +to be dreaded and avoided. For instance, a man may preach most +eloquently and acceptably on the three "R's" if he does not apply the +subject too pointedly, by telling the people, both in the pulpit and out +of it, that they are now ruined and lost; and that, having been +redeemed, they are responsible before God; and that, if they will not be +regenerated by the Spirit, they will be damned. They do not object to +your laying, "You hath He quickened," but to turn these same words into +a personal question is too often considered impertinent; though, indeed, +it is the sincerest kindness and truest Christian love. + +"This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ +Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (1 Tim. 1:15). He came, and +is spiritually present now, everywhere, for this purpose. His real +presence with power is particularly promised to the preacher of the +Gospel (Matt. 28:20). The Lord Jesus is ever present to take especial +interest in the result of preaching. How disappointing then must it be +to Him, to find His servants so often spending their time and energies +upon other objects, however great or good they may be! When they do +preach the Gospel, it must grieve Him to see that their object is too +often not the same as His; and when He does apply the Word by the power +of the Spirit, it must also grieve Him to see that they are afraid of +the result. + +Gospel preaching should not be to entertain people, nor even to instruct +them; but first to awaken them to see their danger, and to bring them +from death into life, which is manifestly the Lord's chief desire. + +This was the definite object of my work: I preached for and aimed at it; +and nothing short of this could or would satisfy my longings. In the +church, in the school-room, or in the cottages, we prayed that the Holy +Spirit would bring conviction upon sinners, and then we sought to lead +them to conversion with the clear ringing testimony, "You must be born +again, or die to all eternity." + + +CHAPTER 10 + +The First Christmas, 1851-52. + +The first Christmas-day, during the revival, was a wonderful time. The +people had never realized before what this festival was, beyond +regarding it as a season for domestic rejoicing. It surprised many to +see that their past Christmases were a true representation of their past +lives that they had cheered and tried to make themselves happy without +Christ, leaving Him out of their consideration in His own world, as they +had on His own birthday. What a Christless and hopeless life it had +been! What a Christless religion! Now we praised the Lord together for +His marvellous goodness to us, and desired that we might henceforth live +unto Him, singing in heart and life, "Glory to God in the highest, and +on earth peace, good-will towards men." + +When New Year's eve arrived we had a midnight gathering, and dedicated +ourselves afresh to God's service. It was a blessed season, and several +hundreds were there, who, together with myself, were the fruits of the +revival during the previous two months. The new year opened upon us with +fresh manifestations of divine power and larger blessings. I endeavoured +to show the people that the Lord was called Jesus, not that He might +save us from hell or death, but from our sins; and this while we lived +on earth--that our heart and all our members being mortified from all +carnal lusts, we might live to His glory; that Christ's religion was not +intended for a death-bed, but for a happy and effectual Christian +life---a life showing forth the power of His grace. + +After the Christmas holidays, our schoolmaster and his wife returned. +They came back full of disdain and prejudice against the work, and even +put themselves out of the way to go from house to house, in order to set +the people against me and my preaching. They said that they could bring +a hundred clergymen to prove that I was wrong; but their efforts had +just the contrary effect to what they expected. It stirred the people to +come more frequently to hear, and contend more zealously for what they +knew to be right. The master was particularly set against "excitement" +and noise. He said, "It was so very much more reverent to be still in +prayer, and orderly in praise; it was not necessary to make such an +unseemly uproar!" I had, however, discovered, long before this time, +that the people who most objected to noise had nothing yet to make a +noise about; and that when they had, they generally made as much or more +noise than others. + +If a house is seen to be on fire, people cannot hello making an outcry; +which they do not, when they only read about it. Witnessing a danger +stirs the heart; and when people's eyes are open to see souls in eternal +danger, they cannot help being stirred up, and crying out. I am +sometimes asked, "Is there not such a thing as a feeling which is too +deep for expression?" It may be that at times people are so surprised +and astonished at some sudden announcement of good or bad news, that +they are stunned, and for a time unable to give vent to their joy or +grief; but soon there is a reaction, and then expression is given. +Generally speaking, these so-called "deep feelings" are only deep in the +way of being low down in the vessel--that is to say, very shallow, and +by no means sufficient to overflow. + +We read that "the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice, and +praise God with a loud voice, for all the mighty works that they had +seen" (Luke 19:37). And we are told, over and over again, in the Psalms, +to "praise God with a loud voice," and to "shout." When we lift up our +voice, the Lord can stir our hearts; and surely the things of the Lord +have more right, and ought to have more power, to stir and arouse the +soul of man, than a boat-race, or a horserace, or a fictitious scene on +the stage. I think people would be all the better for letting out their +hearts in praise to God. It may lie it is trying and exciting to some, +but perhaps they are the very ones who need such a stimulus, and this +may be the best way of bringing it out. + +Notwithstanding the schoolmaster's opposition, he still came to church, +and was very attentive to the sermons, taking copious notes. One Sunday, +when I had been preaching on the text, "Cut it down; why cumbereth it +the ground?" he was heard to say, "Thank God, I am not cut done yet;" +and then he proceeded for the first time to the after-meeting in the +school-room. + +When I entered I saw him low down on his knees, and said how happy I was +to see him there. "Oh," he cried, "I fear there is no mercy--the +sentence is surely gone forth against me, 'Cut him down! cut him down!'" +And then the poor man howled aloud in his distress. The people prayed +for him with shouts of thanksgiving, while he threw himself about in +agony of mind, and made a great noise, which only drew still louder +acclamations from the people. In the midst of this tremendous din he +found peace, and rejoiced with the others in unmistakable accents, and +as loud as the loudest. Evidently he was not ashamed or afraid of +excitement and noise now. + +While he was thus engaged I went round to his house to see his wife, and +tell her the news. I found her sitting on the stairs in profound dismay, +as if some dreadful calamity had happened. She was literally dumb with +fear and astonishment. When she could speak, she said, "What will happen +to him now? Will he die? What will become of us?" When I assured her +that her husband was only just beginning to live, she said, "Must we be +Dissenters now? Oh, what will become of us?" Her sister, who was staying +with her, became very angry at hearing of the master's conversion. +Finding that I could not do much with these two, I left them, and +returned to the schoolroom, where the people were even more uproarious +and happy than before; several others having also found pardon and +peace. + +The Sunday after, the master was seen moving out of church as quickly as +he could; and when he reached the churchyard he was observed to run, and +then leap over a wall, and next over a hedge into a field. They could +not hear him, but he was shouting all the time as well as running. He +afterwards said that the Prayer-book was full of meaning; it was like a +new book to him; and that if he had stayed in church, he should have +disturbed the whole congregation. He became a very earnest Christian, +and took much pains and interest in the religious instruction of the +children. There were several revivals in the school while he was there, +and many of the children were converted. It was not long before he was +able to rejoice over the conversion of his wife, and her sister also. + +I had been anxious about my clerk for some time; he was a good man in +his way, and most attentive to his work in and out of church; he was +also a regular communicant, and exemplary in his life; but with all +this, he was unconverted. I often warned him of his danger; and one day +it came to my mind to tell him of the man who went in to the marriage +supper without the wedding garment. I said, no doubt he thought himself +as good as others, but when the King came in to see the guests, he was +speechless; and because he was so, and had not on the wedding garment, +the King commanded that he should be bound hand and foot, and put into +outer darkness. Now, I continued, the King has often come in to see us, +and we have rejoiced before Him; but you have never spoken to Him, or +asked for mercy. It is a very hardening thing to hear so much as you do +and remain unsaved; and a very deadening thing to come to the Lord's +table as you do, going through the form without any real meaning. You +receive the bread and wine in remembrance that Christ died for you, and +yet you do not believe enough to thank Him. I was led to say, "I must +forbid your coming to the Lord's table till you have given your heart to +God. You know it is right to do it, and that you ought to be converted. +I will not have you come here again till you are." + +The man looked at me as if to see whether I meant it, and then appeared +so sorrowful that I nearly relented. All through the service he was low +and dejected, and went away at the time of the administration of the +ordinance, and sat at the other end of the church. My heart ached for +him, for I had never seen him so touched about anything. Afterwards, +when he came into the vestry, I could see that he had been crying. "Ah, +friend," I said, "it is bad to be left out from the Lord's table here; +what will it be to be left out of heaven?" + +In the evening he was more miserable than ever, and at the close of the +service came into the school-room, where he broke down, and asked the +people to pray for him, for he was a hard-hearted, miserable sinner. +"Pray the Lord to melt my heart." We did so: and soon the poor +broken-hearted man sobbed and cried aloud for mercy; and it was not long +before, to our great joy, he found peace. He afterwards told us that he +had been getting hardened by forms ever since he had been clerk, reading +solemn words without any meaning, which at first he trembled at doing. +He was right; it is good to hear the Gospel, good to attend the means of +grace, good to assemble in the company of God's people; but to rest in +the habit of doing these good things, without conversion, is most +dangerous, and calculated to deaden the heart. He said that he felt it +very much when 'master' was converted (meaning myself), and was also +dreadfully condemned; for he had believed in the necessity of conversion +all his life; and though he knew that I was unconverted, yet he never +told me, but rather encouraged me to go on as I was. He said that he had +had many sleepless nights about it; "but now, thank God" he added, "it +is all right; my feet are on the Rock, my soul is saved. I can praise +the Lord in the congregation." + +The clerk's conversion did not stop with himself, for it was a call to +some of the ringers; they were still outside and unsaved, though they +knew, as well as he did, that they ought to be otherwise. One of these +men began to attend the meetings regularly, but we could not get him to +pray, or speak a word. I said to him one evening, "You will never have a +sound from the bell till you move it or its tongue; in like manner, you +must move your tongue, for you will have nothing until you speak, nor +get an answer until you pray." Still he remained silent, and shut up to +himself; till one night, as we were putting out the lights at ten +o'clock, the meeting being over, I said to him as he stood by, "James, I +wonder when you will ever give your heart to God?" He looked at me and +said, "Now." "That is right," I replied; "thank God! let it be so." I at +once stopped the extinguishing of the lights, and invited him to pray +with me, but he took no heed. It was evident he had deliberately made up +his mind what he would do, for he took off his coat, undid his neck-tie, +turned back his shirt-sleeves, and then, setting a form about nine or +ten feet long, square with the room, he knelt down and began to say, +"Lord, have mercy upon me!" "Lord, have mercy upon me!" This he repeated +with every returning breath, faster and louder as he went on, till at +last he worked himself up into a condition of frenzy. He went on without +cessation for two hours, and then stopped in an exhausted state, gasping +for breath. I pointed him to the cross, and told him of God's mercy in +giving His Son to die for sinners; but he was quite absent, and did not +appear to hear me, or take the least notice. After a little rest, he +commenced again praying as before, and got into terrible distress. What +with his noise, and the energy he put forth, it was frightful to see the +struggle. He cried, and beat the form till I thought his arms would be +black and blue; then he took up the form and beat the floor with it, +till I expected every moment it would come to pieces. The noise he made +brought some of the neighbours out of their beds in a fright to see what +was the matter. + +At two o'clock in the morning, four hours after he began, he laid +himself across the form, and begged with tears that the Lord would not +cast him off. I told him that the Lord was actually waiting for him. At +last he found peace, or felt something, and, springing up, he began to +shout and praise God; and we all joined with him. When this was done, he +put on his coat and neck-tie, and saying "Good night," went home. From +this time he became a changed man, and an earnest and steadfast +believer. + + +CHAPTER 11 + +Dreams and Visions, 1851-4. + +During the revival, the outpouring of the Spirit of God was very +manifest and unmistakable, and was seen in various ways. It was not, of +course, by power or might of men, but by divine influence, that souls +were awakened to see themselves in their true condition. The candle of +the Lord was lighted, and there was a searching of and for immortal +souls, as typified by our blessed Lord in the parable of the lost piece +of silver. + +We read that the woman with her lighted candle discovered her treasure; +so the Divine Spirit, by awakening and searching hearts, found souls, +though they had been buried under sins, worldliness, and neglect, and +that for many years. It was astonishing to hear persons who had been +dull and silent before, break out into full and free expression of +spiritual truth; and their liberty and power in prayer were not less +remarkable. It was truly an opening of eyes to see, and ears to hear, +and hearts to understand--a raising of the dead to spiritual life and +animation. It was as wonderful as the speaking of tongues on the day of +Pentecost, with this difference--that those people spoke what they knew, +in tongues they had not known; and these, in their own speech, declared +things which they had never seen or known before. + +We had another distinctive sign of Pentecost, which was, that while +believers rejoiced with overflowing joy, and sinners were pricked to the +heart, and cried out, "What must I do to be saved?" there were those who +mocked, saying, "These men are mad, or drunk." But, as St. Peter +testified long ago, these men, women, and children were not drunk, but +under the influence and power of the Holy Ghost. + +We had yet another sign. The prophet Joel predicted, "It shall come to +pass that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and +your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your +young men shall see visions; and also upon the servants and upon the +handmaids in those days will I pour out my Spirit" (Joel 2:28, 29). And +I think my narrative would be very incomplete, and I should be holding +back the truth, if I did not tell of some of the dreams and visions +which continually happened at this time amongst us. + +Every week, almost every day, we heard of some remarkable dream or +striking vision. Such things may be called "superstitious" by +incredulous people, but I merely state what actually took place without +attempting to explain or account for it. My own feeling is that I would +rather be among the superstitious than the incredulous; for I think that +the former lose nothing by believing, and the latter gain nothing by +their unbelief. + +Among the people who are alive to spiritual realities these remarkable +tokens are not suspected or doubted. To believe nothing but what you can +understand or account for, is to believe nothing at all. Cornish people +at that time--and they may still be the same--lived in a spiritual +atmosphere, at least in their own county; so much so, that I have often +heard them complain, when they returned from the "shires," of the +dryness and deadness they felt there. I can certainly set my seal to +this testimony, and declare that those of us who had visions in Cornwall +have not had them in the same way out of that district. + +I will give a few specimens, but only one of a kind, for it would fill +the volume if I told all; the reader can judge if there was meaning or +import in some of them or not. + +At one time, when there was a depression or check in the congregation, +and preaching was hard, praying formal, and singing flat, I invited the +people to join with me in prayer, that the Lord would show us what was +the hindrance in the way of the work. They prayed with one accord and +without consulting one another, almost in the same words, whether in the +school-room or in the cottages; the substance of their petition was, +that we might know and put away the obstacle to spiritual blessing, +whatever that obstacle might be. + +One night I dreamt that I was in the church, feeling very desolate and +forsaken; there were very few people there, but soon my eyes lighted on +an ugly-looking stranger, who tried to evade me. He was a very +disagreeable, sullen-looking man. When I spoke to him he gnashed his +teeth, and as I approached he drew out a knife and held it out before +me. I pursued him notwithstanding, when he backed towards the door and +went out. I followed him through the churchyard till he was outside the +lych-gate. As soon as he was gone, I saw a troop of happy people, all +dressed in white, come in at the same gate, leaping and running like so +many joyful children, and swinging their arms for gladness: they went +into the church and began to sing. The dream was as vivid to me as a +daylight scene. + +I went out the next evening, intending to tell it at the school-room +meeting; but before I began to do so, I observed that the people sang +more freely than usual, and I also noticed that two men who prayed +omitted to offer the usual request for hindrances to be removed. When I +told my dream, a man arose and said, "I know all about that; there has +been one among us whom we thought was a good man, but instead of this we +have discovered that he was most immoral and deceitful, doing a deal of +mischief, secretly undermining the faith of some, and misleading others; +he has been detected, and is gone." Sure enough our old happy freedom +returned, and there was liberty in preaching, praying and singing, and +souls were saved. + +Another time, when I was getting a little impatient with the people, I +took a leaf out of my Scripture-reader's book, and preached a furious +sermon about "damnation," representing God as pursuing the sinner to cut +him down, if he did not repent there and then. I thought I had done it +well, and went home rather satisfied with myself, supposing that I now +knew how to make the congregation feel. The next morning, a yeoman +called to me as I was passing her cottage, and said, "Master, what d'yer +think? I dreamt last night that the devil was a-preaching in your +pulpit, and that you were delighted at it!" A sudden fear fell upon +me--so much so, that I returned to the church, and shutting the door, +begged God's forgiveness; and thanking Him for this warning, asked that +I might remember it, and never transgress again. + +As my Scripture-reader continued to denounce wrath and vengeance, +instead of preaching the Gospel, I parted with him. + +Next, let me tell of a vision which refers to others. My sister came to +me one morning, and said, "William, I had a vision last night of a young +man in a tall hat, with a green-and-red carpet-bag in his hand. I saw +him so plainly, that I should know him again anywhere. He was walking up +the road when you met him, shook hands, and returned with him to the +house. Then you and F---- brought him in at the glass door. On the hall +table there stood a basket containing four beautiful and fragrant +fruits. You took up the basket and offered it to the visitor, who, +putting his hand upon one, said, 'Oh, thank you!' Then touching the +three others in order, said, 'That is for mother, and that for sister, +and that for --.' I could not hear who. You may smile," she continued, +"but I heard that, and saw it all as plainly as I see you now." + +I was accustomed to hear such things, and consequently thought no more +about it, but went on to speak of other subjects. In the course of the +afternoon, as I was going out, I met a relative coming along the road, +and took him back with me to the house; there my wife came out to him, +and we led him in through the glass door. When he had sat some time and +had had some luncheon, my wife said, "I wonder whether this is the young +man we heard about this morning? .... What young man?" asked our +visitor, hastily; "What young man do you mean? .... I should not wonder +if it is," I replied; "We will see presently." He seemed very +suspicious, having heard before he came that some mysterious change had +taken place in us, and so looked again and again to see if he could +detect anything different. + +"Come and see my sister," I said; to which he assented, and we went +across to her house. As soon as we entered her room, she said, "How do +you do? I saw you last night." "What do you mean ?" he replied, +withdrawing his hand. "Why, I was on board the steamer last night." +"That may be," she said, "but you are the gentleman I saw. Have you not +a green-and-red carpet-bag? and did not William meet you on the road?" +Poor young man! he looked dreadfully perplexed. "Never mind her," I +said; "sit down and tell us about your journey." + +After we had talked of this and other subjects, we return home. I then +told him that we were converted and asked if he had given his heart to +God. He said he had. Not being satisfied, I put the question in another +form, and yet remained unsatisfied with his answer. "Do you doubt me?" +he asked: "I will prove it to you." He then went up to his room for a +little while, and returned with a paper in his hand, in which was a +dedication of himself to God, duly signed and sealed. I had never seen +an instrument of this kind before, and asked if he really believed in +it? "Yes, certainly," he replied; "and I mean it, too." + +"But," I said, "do you not see that faith does not consist in believing +what you write, but in what God has written? The Word says that God is +more willing to take than you are to give: you believe you have given; +but do you believe that God has taken? He is far more ready to take your +heart than you to give it; as surely as you have given, so surely He has +taken. Cannot you see that?" + +He replied, "I knew that there was something wrong about this, but I did +not know what. Thank you! thank you!" Then thoughtfully folding up the +paper, he went out of the room. + +The bell was rung for dinner, but he did not appear; and then for tea, +but he declined taking any. After we had gone to church, he found his +way down and followed us there; and when the service was over he +returned again to his room. I was detained at the schoolroom that night, +and until two o'clock in the morning, praying and talking with anxious +souls, and returned home very tired. Going up to bed I saw a light +shining under my visitor's door, and hesitating there a few moments, I +heard him pleading earnestly for mercy. I had a great mind to knock, but +was afraid of disturbing him; so I prayed for him, and went to bed. + +In the morning he came down smiling. "Thank God," he said, "it is all +right now; I am saved." In his hand he held three letters--one to his +mother, one to his sister, and the other to a cousin, in which he +invited them earnestly to come to Jesus. Within the week all four were +in our house, praising God for salvation. + +As the vision indicated, we had nothing to do but hold the basket to +him. He accepted it, and the fruit for himself and his relatives. + +Amongst other people and characters I met with at this time was a good, +respectable man, who had a remarkable dream. He came to me one day, +after I had been speaking about Jacob's ladder, and said that my sermon +had reminded him of his dream. I begged him to sit down and tell it to +me. He said, "I dreamt that I and nineteen other young men were living +in a beautiful house and place, where we had everything provided fer us, +and were free to enjoy ourselves as much as we pleased. We all +understood that the premises belonged to Satan and that we were his +guests. As such, we were permitted to take our pleasure upon two +conditions--one was, that we were not to pray; and the other that we +were not to go away. We smiled at this, and said it was not likely we +should do the former, for we were not the praying kind; and less likely +that we should do the latter, for why should we be such fools as to +forego or give up our enjoyments?" + +I thought to myself, What a wonderful dream that is and how true to +reality! What numbers of young men there are, and young women too, +besides: many other people, who hold their worldly happiness on this +tenure, and of course from the same master. + +Well, to continue the story of the dream, he said, "In the course of +time we all became heartily tired of the place and its pleasures, and +longed to get away, but we could not. One of us made an attempt to do +so, but he was captured and brought back, and made more of a slave than +ever. At last, I and a few others agreed to pray at a stated time in +different places, in the hope that if one was caught, yet the rest might +escape. Upon a set day and time we began praying, each in his appointed +place. I had fixed upon a dark corner in a large deserted room, where we +had stowed away bales and bales of goods we did not care to open. +Climbing over the top of these stores, I landed on the other side, and +went to the spot I had chosen. I had not prayed long before I heard +master coming, cracking his whip, and saying, 'I'll teach you to pray.' +This made me tremble exceedingly, and pray all the harder; but hearing +that he was very near and coming after me, I opened my eyes, and to my +surprise there was a beautiful silver ladder before me. As quick as +thought, I sprang with hands and feet upon it, and began to climb for +dear life. 'Ha!' said master, 'I'll teach you to climb.' Then I felt the +ladder shaking under me, and knew that he was coming up. I expected +every moment to be seized and dragged back, so I climbed all the faster, +and looked up to see how much farther I had to go. Oh, it was such a +long way, and there was only a very small hole to get to at last. My +heart began to fail me, so that I almost let go my hold, till I felt the +master's sulphurous breath on the back of my neck, which made me rush +forward more vehemently. At last I reached the top, and thrust my arm +through the hole, then my head, and then my other arm; thus I got +through altogether, leaving my old enemy blaspheming and cursing down +below. It was a most beautiful place that I was now in, and angels were +flying about, just as the birds do in this world. I saw the Lord +Himself, and fell down before Him to give Him thanks. As I remained a +long time prostrate. He said to me. 'What is thy petition?' I answered, +'Lord, grant that that hole may be made larger, for I have nineteen +friends down there in the power of the cruel master.' The Lord smiled, +and said, 'That hole is quite large enough.' So I awoke." + +Where there is a will, there is always a way of some kind; and if +worldlings are really tired of Satan's service, they can easily call +upon God to deliver them, and He will most surely do so when He sees +they are in earnest. This dream had the effect of spiritually awakening +the man who had it, and of bringing him to the foot of the cross for +mercy and salvation. + +I noticed that in dreams and visions in Cornwall the Lord Jesus very +often appears, and the devil also; these are real persons to the Cornish +mind, and their power is respectively acknowledged. + +During the summer, a young gentleman, whom we invited to our house in +the hope of reaching his soul, came to stay with us; and this in spite +of his avowed prejudice against us and our proceedings. I took this as a +token of encouragement, for I was sure that the devil would have +hindered his coming, unless the young man had been constrained by a +higher power. He spent his time in riding about or smoking, and made +great fun of our meetings and services, though I observed that he was +very attentive to hear the sermon whenever he did come. + +One week-day evening, while we were sitting in the drawing room, and +little expecting it, he burst into tears and cried out, "I don't know +what to do; I shall be lost for ever!" We immediately sprang up to his +help, always delighted at such opportunities of working for the Lord. We +knelt down to pray, and as we continued to do so, he fell into great +distress, and even agony of soul; he literally writhed as if in +excessive pain, too great for utterance, and looked as if he was +fainting with the struggle. We called all the servants into the room to +help in prayer, and while I was praying by the side of my young friend, +and pointing him to Christ, one of the servants rose up and walked +straight across the room, and, with a firm hand pushing me aside, said, +"The Lord is here Himself." I rose instantly and moved out of the way, +while she stood with her hands together, adoring. + +She afterwards told us that she saw the Lord stoop down to the low chair +where my young friend was kneeling, and putting His hand on his head, He +said something, and then stood up. Immediately upon this she saw the +verandah crowded with ugly-looking devils, all with their eyes fixed on +the young man as he knelt. The Lord then waved His hand, and the ugly +company vanished. At that instant the young man lifted up his head, and +turning towards the side on which she had discerned the Lord as +standing, said, "Lord, I thank Thee," and then fainted away. + +When the vision was over, the servant came, with tears in her eyes, to +ask pardon for so rudely pushing me aside, but said that while the Lord +was there she could not help herself: "Oh, He is so beautiful, so +grand!" The young man was soon restored to animation, and began to speak +in a voice and tone very different to his former utterance. He was +altogether a remarkable instance of a change of heart and life. + +A careless, worldly man in my parish dreamt one night that he was in the +market hall of a certain town. He was surprised to see, in a wall, a +doorway, which he had never noticed before--so much so, that he went +forward to examine it, and found that it really was a door, and that it +opened to his touch. He went inside, and there he saw an impressive and +strange scene. There were a number of men and women walking about, who +appeared to be very woeful, end in great agony of pain. They were too +distressed to speak, but he recognized most of them as persons who had +been dead some time. They looked mournfully at him, as if sorry that he +had come there, but did not speak. He was much alarmed, and made his way +back to the door to escape, but was stopped by a stern, sullen-looking' +porter, who said, in a sepulchral voice, "You cannot pass." He said, "I +came in this way, and I want to go out." "You cannot," said the solemn +voice. "Look, the door opens only one way; you may come in by it, but +you cannot go out." It was so, and his heart sank within him as he +looked at that mysterious portal. At last the porter relented, and as a +special favour let him go forth for eight days. He was so glad at his +release that he awoke. + +When he told me the dream I warned him, and begged him to give his heart +to God. "You may die," I said, "before the eighth day." He laughed at +the idea, and said he was "not going to be frightened by a dream." "When +I am converted," he continued, "I hope I shall be able to say that I was +drawn by love and not driven by fear." "But what," I said, "if you have +been neglecting and slighting God's love for a long time, and He is now +moving you with fear to return to Him?" Nothing would do; he turned a +deaf ear to every entreaty. When the eighth day arrived, being market +day, he went to the hall as usual, and looked at the wall of which he +had dreamed with particular interest, but seeing no door there, he +exclaimed, "It's all right; now I will go and have a good dinner over +it, with a bottle of wine!" + +Whether he stopped at one bottle or not, I cannot tell; but late on +Saturday night, as he was going home, he was thrown from his horse and +killed. That was at the end of the eighth day. + +Whether these dreams and visions were the cause or effect of the +people's sensitive state, I do not know; but certainly they were very +impressible, and even the cold and hardened amongst them were ready to +hear about the mysteries of the unseen world. I attributed this to the +spiritual atmosphere in which they were then living. + + +CHAPTER 12 + +Billy Bray, 1852. + +After the events narrated in Chapter 10, and when all the people who +dwelt on the hill on which the church was built were converted, there +came upon the scene a very remarkable person, who had evidently been +kept back for a purpose. This was none other than the veritable and well +known "Billy Bray."* One morning, while we were sitting at breakfast, I +heard some one walking about in the hall with a heavy step, saying, +"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!" On opening the door, I beheld a +happy-looking little man, in a black Quaker-cut coat, which it was very +evident had not been made for him, but for some much larger body. "Well, +my friend," I said, "who are you?" + +__________________________ + +* See "The King's Son; or, Life of Billy Bray," by F. W. Bourne. +___________________________ + +"I am Billy Bray," he replied, looking steadily at me with his twinkling +eyes; "and be you the parson?" + +"Yes, I am." + +"Thank the Lord! Converted, are ye?" + +"Yes, thank God." + +"And the missus inside" (pointing to the dining-room), "be she +converted?" + +"Yes, she is." + +"Thank the dear Lord!" he said, moving forward. + +I made way for him, and he came stepping into the room; then making a +profound bow to the said "missus," he asked, "Be there any maidens +(servants)?" + +"Yes, there are three in the kitchen." + +"Be they converted too?" + +I was able to answer in the affirmative; and as I pointed towards the +kitchen door when I mentioned it, he made off in that direction, and +soon we heard them all shouting and praising God together. When we went +in, there was Billy Bray, very joyful, singing, + +"Canaan is a happy place; +I am bound for the land of Canaan." + +We then returned to the dining-room with our strange guest, when he +suddenly caught me up in his arms and carried me around the room. I was +so taken by surprise, that it was as much as I could do to keep myself +in an upright position, till he had accomplished the circuit. Then he +set me in my chair and rolling on the ground for joy, said that he "was +as happy as he could live." When this performance was at an end, he rose +up with a face that denoted the fact, for it was beaming all over. I +invited him to take some breakfast with us, to which he assented with +thanks. He chose bread and milk, for he said, "I am only a child." + +I asked him to be seated, and gave him a chair; but he preferred walking +about, and went on talking all the time. He told us that twenty years +ago, as he was walking over this very hill on which my church and house +were built (it was a barren old place then), the Lord said to him, "I +will give thee all that dwell in this mountain." Immediately he fell +down on his knees and thanked the Lord, and then ran to the nearest +cottage. There he talked and prayed with the people, and was enabled to +bring them to Christ; then he went to the next cottage, and got the same +blessing; and then to a third, where he was equally successful. Then he +told "Father" that there were only three "housen" in this mountain, and +prayed that more might be built. That prayer remained with him, and he +never ceased to make it for years. The neighbours, who heard his prayer +from time to time, wondered why he should ask for "housen" to be built +in such an "ungain" place. + +At last, after sixteen years, he received a letter from his brother +James, to say that they were hacking up the "croft" to plant trees, and +that they were going to build a church on the hill. He was "fine and +glad," and praised the Lord. Again he did so, when his brother wrote to +say there was a vicarage to be built on the same hill, and a schoolroom +also. He was almost beside himself with joy and thankfulness for all +this. + +In the year 1848, when the church was completed and opened, he came on a +visit to Baldhu, and was greatly surprised to see what a change had +taken place. There was a beautiful church, a parsonage, with a +flourishing garden, and also a schoolroom, with a large plantation and +fields round them. He was quite "'mazed," for he never thought that the +old hill could be made so grand as that! However, when he went to the +service in the church, his joy was over; he came out "checkfallen," and +quite disappointed. He told "Father" that that was nothing but an "old +Pusey" He had got there, and that he was no good. While he was praying +that afternoon, "Father" gave him to understand that he had no business +there yet, and that he had come too soon, and without permission. So he +went back to his place at once, near Bodmin, and continued to pray for +the hill. + +After three years his brother James wrote again; 'and this time it was +to tell him that the parson and all his family were converted, and that +there was a great revival at the church. Now poor Billy was most eager +to come and see this for himself, but he obtained no permission, though +he asked and looked for it every day for more than three months. + +At last, one wintry and frosty night in January, about half-past eleven +o'clock, just as he was getting into bed, "Father" told him that he +might go to Baldhu. He was so overjoyed, that he did not wait till the +morning, but immediately "put up" his clothes again, "hitched in" the +donkey, and set out in his slow-going little cart. He came along singing +all the way, nearly thirty miles and arrived early in the morning. +Having put up his donkey in my stable, he came into the house, and +presented himself, as I have already stated, in the hall, praising God. + +We were a long time over breakfast that morning, for the happy man went +on from one thing to another, "telling of the Lord," as he called it, +assuring us again and again that he was "fine and glad, and very +happy"--indeed, he looked so. He said there was one thing more he must +tell us; it was this--that he had a "preaching-house" (what we should +now call a mission-room), which he had built years ago. He had often +prayed there for "this old mountain," and now he should dearly love to +see me in the pulpit of that place, and said that he would let me have +it for my work. He went on to say that he had built it by prayer and +faith, as "Father" sent him help, and that he and another man had built +it with their own hands. One day he was short of money to buy timber to +finish the roof; his mate said it would take two pounds' worth; so he +asked the Lord for this sum, and wondered why the money did not come, +for he felt sure that he was to have it. A farmer happened to look in +the next morning, and Billy thought he had come with the money, but he +merely asked them what they were doing, and then took his departure, +without giving them help. All that day they waited in expectation, and +went home in the evening without having done any work. The next morning +the same farmer appeared again, and said, "What do you want two pounds +for?" "Oh," said Billy, "you are come, are you? We want that money for +the roof yonder." The farmer then went on to say, "Two days ago it came +to my mind to give two pounds for the preaching house, but as I was +coming down the hill on yesterday morning, something said to me, 'if you +give one pound it will be handsome; then I thought I would give only +half-a-sovereign; and then that I would give nothing. Why should I? But +the Lord laid it on my mind last night that I must give you two pounds. +There it is!" + +"Thank the Lord!" said Billy, and proceeded immediately to get the +required timber. In answer to prayer he also obtained "reed" for +thatching the roof, and by the same means timber for the forms and +seats. + +It was all done in a humble manner, so that he did not dream of buying +any pulpit; but one day, as he was passing along the road, he saw that +they were going to have a sale at the "count-house" of an old mine. He +went in, and the first thing which met his eye was a strong oak +cupboard, with a cornice around the top. It struck him that it would +make a grand pulpit, if only it was-strong enough: on examination, he +found it all he could desire in this respect. He thought if he could +take off the top and make a "plat" to stand upon, it would do +"first-rate." He "told Father" so, and wondered how he could get it. He +asked a stranger who was there, walking about, what he thought that old +cupboard would go for? "Oh, for about five or six shillings," was the +reply. And while Billy was pondering how to "rise" six shillings, the +same man came up and said, "What do you want that cupboard for, Billy?" +He did not care to tell him, for he was thinking and praying about it. +The man said, "There are six shillings for you; buy it if you will." +Billy took the money, thanking the Lord. and impatiently waited for the +sale. No sooner was the cupboard put up, than he called out, "Here, +maister, here's six shillin's for un," and he put the money down on the +table. "Six shillings bid," said the auctioneer--"six shillings--thank +you; seven shillings; any more for that good old cupboard? Seven +shillings. Going--going--gone!" And it was knocked down to another man. + +Poor Billy was much disappointed and perplexed at this, and could not +understand it at all. He looked about for the man who had given him the +six shillings, but in vain--he was not there. The auctioneer told him to +take up his money out of the way. He complied, but did not know what to +do with it. He went over a hedge into a field by himself, and told +"Father" about it; but it was all clear--"Father" was not angry about +anything. He remained there an hour, and then went homewards. + +As he was going along, much troubled in his mind as to this experience +(for he still felt so sure he was to have that cupboard for a pulpit), +he came upon a cart standing outside a public-house with the very +cupboard upon it, and some men were measuring it with a foot rule. As he +came up, he heard them say, "It is too large to go in at the door, or +the window either." The publican who had bought it said, "I wish I had +not bid for the old thing at all; it is too good to 'scat' up for +firewood." At that instant it came to Billy's mind to say, "Here, I'll +give you six shillings for un." "Very well," said the man, taking the +money; "you can have him." Then Billy began to praise the Lord, and went +on to say, "'Father' as good as told me that I was to have that +cupboard, and He knew I could not carry him home on my back, so He found +a horse and cart for me. Bless the Lord!" Promising to bring it back +very soon, he led the horse down the hill, and put the old cupboard into +the preaching-house. "There it is!" he exclaimed, "and a fine pulpit he +does make, sure enough! Now," said Billy, "I want to see thee in it. +When will you come?" I could not fix for that day, or the next, trot +made arrangements to conduct a series of services the next week, and +promised to have them in that place. + +Before he left us, he made a particular inquiry about the two other +houses which had been built, who lived in them, and especially if all +the "dwellers were converted." Then he declared his intention to go and +see the parties, and rejoice with them, and testify how fully the Lord +had accomplished the promise He gave him upon that very hill, twenty +years before. + +According to promise, I went to Billy Bray's preaching-house, or +mission-hall. It was the first time that I had preached anywhere outside +my church and schoolroom since my conversion. There it pleased the Lord +to give me much help, and a great work followed, such as Billy had never +seen in that place before. Several times we were detained there all +night through, with penitents crying aloud for mercy, and believers +rejoicing. + +As a rule, the Cornish man would remain at a meeting for hours, and come +again the next day, and the day after, if needful, till he felt that he +could cry for mercy, and then he would begin and continue crying until +he felt he could believe. + +At the conclusion of these services we returned to the schoolroom, where +our meetings were continued. + +Our friend Billy remained with us at Baldhu, and was very useful. He +spoke in the schoolroom with much acceptance and power in the simplicity +of his faith, and souls were added to the Lord continually. + +At this time he was very anxious for a cousin of his, a man somewhat +older than himself, of the same name. This Billy was as famous for his +drunkenness and dissolute habits, as the other Billy was for his faith +and joy. The former used to go by the name of the "lost soul." The very +children in the lanes called after him, "Ah, Billy, you are a lost +soul," and laughed at him. I was then in the freshness and power of my +first love, and could not help regarding this pitiable object, and +considering his case; for I could not imagine why any man should remain +unsaved and without Christ. + +Accordingly, one wet morning, when I felt pretty sure that old Billy +would not be out working in the field, I made my way down to his house. +As I expected, he was at home in his chimney comer; so setting down my +dripping umbrella, I told him how glad I was to find him there, for I +wanted to have a talk with him. + +"Ah, it's all very well for you gentlemen, who have none else to do but +to go about and talk; but we poor men must work." So saying, he rose up +from his "settle" and went to the door. + +"But, Billy, it is raining quite hard; you cannot work in rain like +that." + +"Can't help it; we must do our work," and so he slammed the door after +him and departed. + +His wife made all kinds of apologies for him, because "he was a very +singular kind of man; he did not mean bad--he was 'that curious,' that +he said and did curious things, and that I must not mind him." + +I confess I was much disappointed at his abrupt departure from the +house, but I remained a little longer, till the worst of the storm was +over. + +After the lapse of nearly a quarter of an hour, Billy crept back to the +door, and lifting the latch quietly, whispered to his wife, "Is the +passon gone?" + +"No, Billy," I said, "here I am. Come in out of the wet. I am so glad +you have come back." + +"What d'yer want with me?" he inquired. "I want to talk to you about +your soul. I have been thinking much about you lately, Billy. They call +you a 'lost soul.'" + +"What's that to you?" + +"Ah, a great deal," I said, "because I have a message for lost people. I +am not a doctor for the body; my business is about the soul." + +"I ain't so bad as all that yet," he replied. + +"But you are bad enough, Billy--bad enough." + +"Yes, indeed," interposed his wife. + +"You hold yer tongue; you're no better." + +I beckoned to her to be still, and went on to say, "You are bad enough, +Billy, for an old man. How old are you?" + +"Up seventy years." + +"Seventy years!" I repeated. "Well, now, that's a great age--that's the +age of man. Threescore years and ten! It is like giving you notice to +give up the keys of the old tabernacle. I wonder why God spares your +life? I am afraid you have been a cumberer of the ground all this time, +Billy. Do you know why the good Lord has spared you for so long?" + +"I can't tell," he said, getting more and more impatient. + +"Well, do you know, I think I can tell you. He is such a loving and +merciful God, He wants to have mercy on you. You could not have greater +proof of it, could you? You set a horribly bad example; you do nothing +but drink, and smoke, and swear. You have asked God to damn your soul +over and over again, and yet here you are still. Why is this?" + +He did not answer, but seemed interested; so I went on to speak of the +forbearance of God towards him. I said, "Billy, do you know that I think +the Lord wants to have mercy on you? He wants to save you!" As he +listened, I went on to tell him that God loved him, and gave His Son to +die for him. Then I proceeded to speak of the wonderful patience and +long-suffering of God--a kind of crown upon His love; and what a shame +it was to sin against such love as this. + +Poor Billy looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "You are a +dear man!" + +"Dear man!" I answered. "What, then, is God, if I am 'dear' only for +telling you of His love? Ah, Billy, take and give your heart to God at +once. He is waiting for you. It is a shame to refuse such a God." + +I knelt down and began to pray for him. He soon fell on his knees too, +and sobbed aloud; then he commenced to pray in his own way. He needed +much teaching, so when he rose from his knees I said to him, "Now, +Billy, I have been to see you; it is your turn to some and see me next. +When will you come?" + +"This afternoon," he said. "Very good; come this afternoon." And he did. +More than that, this poor "lost soul" found peace in my study, to his +great joy; and he was not ashamed to acknowledge it openly, nor afraid +to praise God for His great goodness. + +The same evening he stood up in the schoolroom meeting, and told the +people what the Lord had done for his soul. There was great excitement +that night, and well there might be, for every one knew what a daring +and wicked man he had been. One man said that "if a corpse had come out +of the churchyard and spoken, he could not have been more frightened" +(more surprised, he meant). + +Old Billy's conversion gave a new and fresh impetus to the work, and +many more souls were added to the Lord. + +This dear man lived for three months after this, verifying the words I +was led to say to him at the beginning of our intercourse--that the Lord +was keeping him alive in order to have mercy upon him. At the end of +this time, his daughter came to me one morning in great haste, and said, +"Father is dying, and does so want to see you. Will you come?" I went +immediately. On reaching his house and entering: his bedroom, his wife +said, "You are too late; he is dead!" Softly I moved forward to the bed, +and looking on that face once more, I thought that I could still see +signs of life. Pressing his cold hand, I spoke a few words about the +loving kindness of the Lord. He knew me, and a smile brightened his face +at the precious name of Jesus. While we stood silently round his dying +bed, he said (evidently in reference to what he had heard), "not dead; +just beginning to live." Thus, with a sweet, triumphant smile, he +departed. + + +CHAPTER 13 + +Cottage Meetings, 1852. + +Our steps were now directed to another part of the parish, where we +commenced a series of cottage meetings in alternation with services in +the church. These meetings were inaugurated in a very remarkable manner, +in the house of a man named "Frank," who was well known as an +exceedingly wicked and careless fellow. His wife was among the fruits of +the revival, and prayed much for him; but the more she did so, the worse +he became. I used to try and comfort her with the thought that if he did +not give himself to God to be made better, it was well that he got +worse, for it was a proof that her prayers were telling; total +indifference would have been a far more discouraging sign. + +This was poor comfort to her, however, for he came home night after +night drunk; or if not so, swearing about the revival in the church, and +her praying. He often declared that if he ever caught me in his house, +he would "give me something for myself." He was at all times a very +irascible man, and being troubled with a wooden leg, it made him worse. +As he was unable to work in the mine, he was dependent for his support +on the parish authorities, who employed him to break stones on the road. + +Notwithstanding his bad temper and ill-feeling towards me, I always +stopped at his heap of stones when passing, and talked to him either +about the weather or some other trivial subject, being quite satisfied +that he knew the plan of salvation, as I had spoken to him about his +soul at the time of his wife's conversion. + +One day, when coming along, I observed Frank before me in the road, +busy, as usual, breaking stones, and began to think what I would speak +to him about, having no particular news to communicate. While I was thus +pondering, I came to his place, when, to my great astonishment, he was +not there. I looked around on all sides, and called, "Frank--Frank!" but +in vain--no one answered. There was no hedge or tree within sight for +him to hide behind; where could he be? All at once, I remembered that +there was a small gravel-pit about twenty-five or thirty yards from the +spot, but scarcely thought it possible he could be there. I went towards +it, however, still calling, "Frank--Frank!" and yet received no answer. +On looking in, sure enough, there was my man, lying down in the pit, +close up to the side, with his face to the ground. I said, "Frank, is +that you? What are you doing there? Are you ill?" + +"No," he replied, "I'm not. What d'yer want with me?" + +"Nothing in particular," I said; "but to tell the truth, I was so +surprised at your disappearance, that I could not pass on without +looking for you. I was so sure that I saw you in the distance, sitting +in your place; and then, when I came up, you were not there. I wondered +whether I had seen your ghost instead of you, and whether you were dead +or what. Are you hiding away from me?" + +Rising up, he said, "I had a terrible dream last night which frightened +me very much. A voice said, 'Go and see Mr. Haslam about your soul.' I +said, 'I will, I will, the first thing in the morning.' When the morning +came, I thought the evening would do; and when I saw you coming, it made +me tremble so, that I got up and hid myself here." + +I said, "Frank, it is no use for you to fight against God, or to stand +out against your wife's prayers. You had far better give in." + +He then told me that his dream referred to something in his past life, +and sitting down on the bank or side of the gravel pit, he said, 'When I +was ill with my leg (which was taken off), the doctor told me what I +should die. I then cried to the Lord to have mercy on me, and said that +if He would raise me up, I would give my heart to Him. I began to +recover from that day, and kept on intending and intending to give my +heart to God; but I never did it. I got quite well in health, but ever +since that time I have been getting worse and worse in mind. When my +wife was converted, it seemed as if the devil took possession of me +altogether, and the Lord warned me again last night." + +"Come now," I said, "you had better kneel down here and give up." It was +a lonely road on a bare common. "Kneel down," I repeated, "and let us +pray." He did so, and after prayer he said, "By God's help. I will give +up." + +"No," I replied, "that will not do. Say, 'Lord, take my heart. I +do'--not 'I will'--give up.'" + +After a short pause, he solemnly said, "I do; Lord, take my heart!" and +then began to cry. + +I gave him the text, "God so loved the world, that He gave His +only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, +but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). "Think over that," I said, "and +come to the schoolroom to-night." He did so, and was saved, to the great +joy of his soul. After the meeting was over, he remained behind a long +time, and gave vent to his feelings with tears, when he remembered the +goodness of God to him. + +"This wooden leg of mine," he said, "is a monument of God's mercy!" + +"How is that?" I inquired. + +"Several years ago," he said, "I was playing cards for money in a +public-house, and was cheating in order to win, when the man I was +playing with said, 'You would not have won that money if you had not +cheated.' I swore at him, and said, 'God strike my limbs if I did so!' I +knew I had; and the man would not believe that I had not. So we parted." + +"The next morning, I was working in the mine, close to a very large +piece of rock, which had been loosened with the blasting, when it +slipped from its place, and carried me along with it into the shaft. As +the heavy end was uppermost, it turned with its own weight, and fell +across the shaft, pinning me against the side. This rock was not less +than two or three tons weight. Notwithstanding the fearful shock, I +retained my senses; but one leg was smashed, and the other severely +wounded. 'God struck my limbs!' I cried for help; and when the men who +were attracted by my screams found me, they saw at once that it was +impossible to extricate me without moving the rock. There I remained for +more than two hours, till they had put a sling around my body. Having +done that, they adjusted a strong chain to the rock and lifted the end. +As soon as they succeeded in raising it, down it went, carrying plate, +ladders, and all before it, to the bottom of the shaft, which was many +fathoms deep, whilst I was left hanging in the sling. They then drew me +up, and took me to the hospital, where one leg was taken off and the +other set; but I was very ill for a long time. Oh, just think, if that +rock had not pinned my legs to the wall of the shaft, I should have been +in hell now! The Lord saved my life then--and has saved my soul now!" + +Dear Frank became a very zealous Christian, and for many years preached +the Gospel with much power and acceptance. After his conversion, he came +one morning to beg my pardon for having forbidden me his house, and to +ask if I would come and hold a meeting there for his neighbours. + +I did; and there was such a crowd inside, and also outside the house, +and so much blessing, that I was not satisfied with one visit, but went +again and again. + +The place was most inconveniently full; they turned out the chairs and +tables to make standing-room inside, and opened the windows and doors +for the people to hear outside; and sometimes, before the address was +over, men and women cried aloud for mercy. We could not kneel down to +pray--praying, singing, and hearing was done standing, and, that very +close together. The house was so uncomfortably thronged, that a miller +in the neighbourhood, who had a large room in the mill, begged me to +come and preach there instead. I accepted his invitation, and we went; +but, alas! there was no power there; it was hard to pray or preach; and +the people were not even attentive. Thus it was clearly seen that it is +not by might or by power of men, but by the Spirit of the Lord; and that +if the Lord was not present to work, no work was done. We went back to +Frank's cottage, and there again the manifest presence of God was +discernible; and every time we did so souls were saved. + +Next door to Frank lived a tall, gaunt, gipsy kind of woman, whom they +called "the wise woman." She had a marvellous gift of healing, and other +knowledge, which made people quite afraid of her. This woman took a +great interest in me and my work, and often came to church, besides +attending the meetings at Frank's house. + +One day, during these services, she paid a visit to the Parsonage, and +said, "My dear, have you a lemon in the house?" I went to inquire and +found that we had not. "Well, then," she said, "get one, and some honey +and vinegar, and mix them all together. You will want it. Mind you do, +now," she said, drawing herself up to her full height; "mind you do, you +will want it!" Then she put the bowl of her pipe into the kitchen fire, +and having ignited the tobacco, went away smoking. + +The servants were very much frightened by her manner and her warning, +and begged of me to get the lemon, saying, "It was about you, master; it +was about you that she came." + +I did not know where to get a lemon within three miles, but it so +happened that a man came to the door with a net full, for sale, that +same afternoon. We bought two, just to pacify the servants, and let them +make the mixture, thinking nothing more about it. + +In the course of the afternoon a very heavy thunder-storm fell upon us, +deluging the roads and lanes; and before it ceased I had to go to the +meeting. I took the precaution to put on thick shoes, and then set off +and walked through the rain. When I arrived at the cottage, I thought my +feet felt wet; but they were not cold, so that I soon forgot all about +them, and went on with the meeting, which lasted till ten o'clock; then +I returned home. On taking off my shoes, I was surprised to see how wet +and muddy my socks were. I had been standing with wet feet all the +evening. To guard against any ill effects, I put my feet in hot water +before going to bed. However, at three o'clock in the morning I awoke, +nearly choked with a severe fit of bronchitis; the thick, hard phlegm in +my throat almost suffocated me; I had to struggle for breath and life. +After an hour or more of the most acute suffering, my dear wife +remembered the lemon mixture, and called the servant to get up and bring +it. It was just in time. I was black in the face with suffocation; but +this compound relieved, and, in fact, restored me. I was greatly +exhausted with the effort and struggle for life, and after two hours I +fell asleep. I was able to rise in the morning and breathe freely, +though my chest was very sore. + +After breakfast, the "wise woman" appeared, standing outside the window +of the drawing-room, where I was lying on the sofa. + +"Ah, my dear," she said, "you were nearly gone at three o'clock this +morning. I had a hard wrestle for you, sure enough. If you had not had +that lemon, you know, you would have been a dead man by this time!" + +That mysterious creature, what with her healing art, together with the +prayer of faith and the marvellous foresight she had, was quite a terror +to the people. One day she came, and bade me go to a man who was very +worldly and careless, and tell him that he would die before Sunday. + +I said, "You go, if you have received the message." + +She looked sternly at me, and said, "You go! that's the message--you +go!" + +I went. The man laughed at me, and said, "That old hag ought to be +hanged." I urged him to give his heart to God, and prayed with him, but +to no effect. He was thrown from his cart, and killed the following +Saturday, coming home from market. + +Her sayings and doings would fill a book; but who would believe the +things? + +She was not always a bird of evil omen, for sometimes she brought me +good news as well as bad. One day she said, "There is a clergyman coming +to see you, who used to be a great friend of yours, but since your +conversion he has been afraid of you. He is coming; you must allow him +to preach; he will be converted before long!" Sure enough, my old friend +W.B.--, came as she predicted. He preached, and in due time was +converted, and his wife also; but his story shall come in its own place. + +The work at Frank's cottage stopped as suddenly as it began. I cannot +theorize about the subject; I merely state that so it was. It began, it +continued, and continued only in that house, and then it stopped. + +Another remarkable thing may here be observed--that on visiting the +cottages within a limited distance round Frank's house, people were +softened, and it was easy to persuade them to yield themselves to +Christ. They appeared to be quite ripe and ready. Just beyond this limit +the people were as hard and careless as ever. It seemed as if the power +of God overshadowed only a certain spot, and that all within that were +under Divine influence for the time, though all were not converted. They +acknowledged, however, that they felt the Spirit's power striving with +them, and they knew afterwards that it was withdrawn. "The wind bloweth +where it listeth." + + +CHAPTER 14 + +Open-Air Services, 1852. + +1. PERRANZABULOE + +AS the summer advanced, it was laid on heart to go and preach in the +parish of Perranzabuloe, where I had ministered in my unconverted days. +The vicar, would not consent to my having the church; but told me, in +writing, that he could not prevent my preaching on the common or the +beach. I thanked him for his suggestion as to the latter. As soon I was +able I made arrangements, and giving due notice, went down to the old +familiar place; but this time on a new errand, and it was to me a fresh +start in my work. I took my gown for this first open-air service; and on +arriving, found many hundreds of people already assembled at the +appointed place, on Perran beach. + +After giving out a hymn, which was most heartily sung, I prayed, +thanking God for the change He had wrought in my soul, and begging Him +to show that He had forgiven the past, by bestowing a manifest blessing +upon the present service. All this was loudly responded to, in Cornish +fashion, with hearty "Amens" and various other ejaculations to which I +was well accustomed. Then I read the beginning of the fifth chapter of +St. Luke, taking for my text the words, "Launch out into the deep, and +let down your nets for a draught." + +Having reminded the people how hard I had worked amongst them for four +years without seeing any conversions, I went on to show them, by way of +parallel, that Simon Peter had toiled all night and taken nothing, but +that when he went forth at the Lord's command, he enclosed a great +multitude of fishes. "Here," I said, "is encouragement for us to expect +a blessing now. Why did Simon Peter fail at first? and why did he +subsequently succeed? Why did he fail?--1. Because he went out in the +night. 2. At his own desire. 3. In the wisdom of men. Why did I fail?--1. +Because I preached and laboured in the night of my unconverted state. 2. +I laboured at the bidding of the Church. And, 3. According to the wisdom +and tradition of the fathers. Why did Peter succeed?--Because, 1. He +went out in the morning. 2. At the Lord's bidding. 3. With the Lord's +presence. + +"I am come (I was thankful to be able to say) in the bright sunshine of +my first love. Jesus, the Saviour, is the 'Sun of my soul, my Saviour +dear.'" The people cheered me so much with their responding, that I felt +as happy as they. The opening heaven seemed to shine around us, indeed, +"with beams of sacred bliss." They shouted again and again, "Glory to +God! Glory to God! Hallelujah! .... I am come now," I continued, "to +tell you from my own personal experience, about salvation and the +forgiveness of sins." "Yes, yes!" "Thank the Lord!" "Bless Him!" + +"I am come, dear friends, at the Lord's bidding. I feel sure that He put +it into my heart to do so. Oh, how much I longed to do you good when I +was your minister; but I could not, for I knew nothing about the Way +myself. Now, that I do, I am constrained to tell you. The love of God +within, and the Word of God without, compel me. + +"I feel I have the Lord's presence, for He not only promised it where +two or three are gathered together in His name; but also to those who +preach the Gospel, He said, 'Lo, I am with you alway!' His presence is +power. It is His word I bring you, not mine; I merely deliver it. He is +here. And be sure He loves you, and, what is more, takes a deeper +interest in this preaching than we can. He died for you, and shed His +blood for your forgiveness; how, then, can He do otherwise than take an +interest in the delivery of His message, and, more, in the result which +is to follow? + +"When Simon Peter let down his net, he was astonished; mark, it was a +net he let down into the deep, something which enclosed the fish, in +order that he might bring them out of their native element, the water. +So I preach the Gospel, not merely for the sake of preaching, but to +bring you from the power of Satan, in which we all are by nature, to +God, that you may receive the forgiveness of your sins. + +"We read that he enclosed a great multitude of fishes; I have faith to +believe that the Lord will bring many to Himself to-night." + +With shouting and praise the address was concluded and prayer was +offered. At the close, we found at least fifty people in that great +throng on their knees, crying for mercy. It was a most triumphant and +joyful time, and the people were loth to separate. We slept that night +at Porth, as that part of the village is called. + +The next morning two fishermen came to my lodging, bringing a large +basket of fish as a present. Their hearts had been cheered the preceding +night, and taking my word in a natural as well as a spiritual sense, +they went out once again and let down their nets. They had gone out many +nights before and taken nothing; but this time their venture was crowned +with success, and they came back rejoicing ill the Lord, who had shown +them that temporal as well as spiritual blessings come from Him. The +basket of fish they brought me was an acknowledgment of their heartfelt +gratitude. + +After breakfast, as we were walking on the seashore, under the majestic +cliffs which have stood as a wall against the Atlantic waves for +centuries, we heard our good-natured Newfoundland dog barking at +something on the rocks; we looked up, and behold! There was an +exquisitely graceful fawn-coloured kid, with a scarlet collar and bells, +bounding about playfully on the narrow ledges of the rocks. It seemed to +us to be leaping about on the face of the cliff, for we could not see +the little ledges on which it picked its way. It was quite out of the +dog's reach, and appeared to know it, judging from the coquettish and +defiant manner in which it was jumping about, in high glee at its +independence. While we were standing watching the pretty and graceful +creature, a young lady came out from behind other rocks, and called to +her pet, which arched its little neck and looked at her, then at the +dog, as if it would say, "How can I come down?" I walked towards her, +and on speaking, found that she knew me, and that I had seen her when +she was a child. After a little talk about the playful kid, I asked her +if she had been to the meeting; she said "she had, and she had not!" + +I waited silently for an explanation. Presently, she said that her mamma +had forbidden her to go to "such wild meetings," but that her father had +asked her to walk with him under a wall in the garden, there they could +and did hear every word; and she added, "I think papa has found +peace--he is so very happy'." + +"And have not you also?" I asked. + +"Ah," she replied, "I wish I could." + +The more I talked with her, the more convinced I felt she was in +earnest, but that something stood in the way. She said she did not know +what it was--that she really wished for salvation, and was willing to +give up everything. I said, "Do you think your mother would let you +return with us on a short visit? We are just going back to Baldhu." + +She said, "Mamma is not at home: she has gone away for three days; but I +think papa would let me go. Shall I ask him?" + +She did; and soon returned, saying that she might do so if we could +promise to bring her back in two days. This being settled, she hastened +to get her things ready, and sent her maid to fetch home the pet kid, +which she bade her take great care of during her absence: then we set +off. + +On arriving at our house she went straight to her bedroom, and there on +her knees implored God's mercy, and remained pleading and praying for +five hours, before she found peace. Then she came down among us, +rejoicing in the Lord. That evening she spent at the meeting, and the +next day in visiting among the cottages. On the third day, after a happy +visit, we took her home to her father, rejoicing in the liberty of the +children of God. + +Her mother returned the day after, and when she was told of the change +in her husband and her daughter Lucy, she became exceedingly angry, and +wrote, not to thank, but to forbid us the house; also prohibiting +further intercourse. At the same time she declared her intention to get +all that nonsense out of her daughter's head as soon as possible. She +dragged this poor girl out to parties and amusements of every kind, +against her will, which had the effect of making her dislike them the +more, and caused her to cleave steadfastly to the Lord in prayer. + +Six months later, she was taken ill, and after a few weeks' suffering +she died, rejoicing that her sins were pardoned, and that she was going +home. It was evident that God would not trust that mother with a +daughter whose soul she was determined to injure. He took His child away +to Himself. + +2. ROSE-IN-VALE + +The open-air preaching at Perran led to many similar services there, and +at other places. I will tell of two only, to prevent sameness, and for +fear of tiring the reader. + +The former of these, was at a place called Rose-in-vale, in the same +parish, on the lawn of the chief parishioner. He was an uneducated man, +who had risen from the rank of a common miner to that of a mine captain. +Being very shrewd and clever, he had succeeded in accumulating a +considerable sum of money; and though he and his wife had a very large +house, they chiefly occupied two of the smallest rooms. "Them fine +things up in the parlours," he said, he "made no 'count of;" indeed he +was anything but comfortable or easy in his state apartments. Being the +wealthy man of the parish, he sat on Sunday in the large square pew; but +beyond giving personal attendance, and that very regularly, I do not +know what other heed he gave, either to the service or the sermon. + +During this summer he invited me to give "a preaching" in his garden. +Accordingly, on a fixed day, I went, and tried to speak, but found it +most difficult to do so. I know not why; but again and again I felt as +though I had lost the thread of my discourse and was rambling--that I +was at a loss for words, and could not hold the attention of the people. +Perplexed, and greatly discouraged, I was not sorry when the time came +to conclude; therefore I did not invite the people to remain for an +after-meeting for prayer. Several persons came up and asked me why I had +dismissed the assembly. "Ah!" I replied, "because there is no power. I +could not get on at all!" They were surprised, and said they thought +that I had been helped more than usual, and were quite sure that the +Lord was working among the people. However, the congregation had gone +now, and could not be recalled. This only made me feel more distressed +than before. + +The feeling was very strong with which I had been so burdened while +speaking; and, to add to my perplexity, I observed three coast-guard +men, who had come some five or six miles, behaving badly, and laughing +all the time (as I thought) at my discourse, to the great discomfiture +of my preaching. Open-air addresses were not common in those days, and +for a man to set up (as some said) and pretend to be a second Whitfield +or Wesley, was bad enough, but to fail was most humiliating! + +Three years after this, I was travelling outside a coach, when a rough +sailor-looking man came climbing up to the top, although he was told +that there was no room. "Never mind," he said; "I will sit on the boxes. +I want to talk to this here gentleman." So saying, he perched himself on +the luggage, and offered to shake hands with me. "Do you know me?" I +asked. + +"Oh yes, bless you, of course I do! Don't you remember three coast-guard +men at Captain O--'s garden?" + +"Yes," I said, "indeed I do, and am not likely to forget them easily; +they behaved so badly, and disturbed me so much." + +"Well," he continued, "I'm one o' them. I don't know why we laughed and +made fun, for we all on us felt your words deeply, and went home to +pray; and a few days afterwards we were all three converted--that we +were. Praise the Lord! After that, we volunteered for the navy, to go to +the Crimea war. I've been in some hot scenes, sure enough. One day we +got a little too near the Russian battery, and they peppered us +brave--no mistake, I assure you; they cut our masts and rigging to +pieces, and ploughed up our deck with their shots. Men were being killed +on every side of me. I thought, now I shall see the King in His glory. +My soul was so happy, I expected every moment to be cut down and sent +into His presence; but not a shot touched me! I had not even a scratch; +and here I be, safe and sound, all through mercy!" + +Thus, these three men, who made me at the time so unhappy, and disturbed +me to such a degree, turned out well, after all. + +Since then, on several occasions, I have felt as discouraged in +preaching as I was that day; and though again and again I have said that +I will not heed it, I have nevertheless found it difficult to be unmoved +under this mysterious influence. I write this for the comfort and +consolation of others who are afflicted under similar circumstances, +that they may not be cast down by their feelings. + +3. Mount Hawke + +The next occasion was very different, and quite a contrast in results. I +was invited to a neighbouring parish, which formerly used to be united +with Perran at the time when I had sole charge of it. Here, on the +appointed Saturday afternoon, I found not fewer than three thousand +people assembled on the common. They had erected a kind of platform, +with a canvas awning, to shelter me from the wind, which always blows +with more or less violence in Cornwall, even when it is not raining. + +There I stood and beheld this concourse of people, evidently full of +large expectation. I gave out the hymn-- + +"Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing +My great Redeemer's praise!" + +This was heartily sung; and after prayer for a blessing, I announced my +text, and spoke from the fact, that Christ Jesus came into the world to +save sinners. Upon enforcing this as worthy of all acceptation, I +pressed the thought, that the Lord Jesus came more than eighteen hundred +years ago, and that is present still, and able to work greater than He +wrought then; for indeed He only began then to do and to teach what He +is doing and teaching continuously now. + +A mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord came on the people, and several +hundreds fell upon their knees simultaneously, and many began to cry +aloud for mercy. The strange part was, that the power of the Lord +appeared to pass diagonally through the crowd, so that there was a lane +of people on their knees six or eight feet deep, banked up on either +side by others standing. It extended from the left-hand corner near me, +to the right-hand corner in the distance. + +It was quite impossible to go on preaching, so I gave out a hymn, and +then went in among "the slain of the Lord." After about an hour, some +one suggested that we should go to the school-room; as it was getting +dark. The clergyman of the parish was on horseback in the lane close by, +watching proceedings. I asked him if we could have the use of the +school-room. "Oh yes," he said; "yes, certainly--certainly--anything." +He seemed very frightened. The men and women in distress of soul were +led to the room, crying and praying as they went. When I reached the +place, I found it impossible to get in, far it was already full, besides +a throng standing at the door. I was taken to a window at last, and +getting in through that, I stood on the schoolmaster's table, which was +near. + +Against the wall the men had, in miners' fashion, set up with clay some +candles, which were beginning to bend over with the heat of the room. +The place was densely packed, and the noise of the people praying for +mercy was excessive. I could do no more than speak to those who were +near me round the table. As they found peace one by one and were able to +praise God, we asked them to go out and let others come. In this way the +meeting went on till ten o'clock, when I left; and it continued to go on +all night and all the next day without cessation. It will scarcely be +credited, but that same meeting was prolonged by successive persons +without any intermission, day and night, till the evening of Sunday, the +eighth day after it began. This kind of thing was not unusual in +Cornwall, for we had the same in our school-room at Baldhu for three +days and nights; but eight days is the longest period of which I have +any personal knowledge. + +I went again and again to see how they were going on; but the people +were too absorbed to heed my presence; and those who were then seeking +mercy were strangers to me, and had not been present at the service on +the previous Saturday. + + +CHAPTER 15 + +Drawing-Room Meetings, 1852-53. + +From that time I did not confine myself so much to my own church, but +frequently went out to preach in other places, as opportunities +occurred; and these were, for the most part, brought about by remarkable +and unsought-for incidents. + +One Sunday a lady and gentleman came to my church from one of the +neighbouring towns; they were professors of religion, and members of +some Dissenting body. My sermon that evening was upon wheat and +chaff--the former was to be gathered into the garner, the latter burned +with fire unquenchable. I said that we were all either one or the +other--to be gathered or burned. They went away very angry, and +complained one to another of my want of charity; they also remarked that +I took good care to let the people know that I was not amongst the chaff +which was to be burned. The arrows of the Lord had evidently found them, +and had pierced the joints in their harness. They could not sleep all +night for anger and distress. In the morning the gentleman rose early, +and before breakfast had his horse out, and galloped over eight miles to +see me. He came with the intention of finding fault, but instead of this +he burst into tears, and told me that he was the greatest of sinners. + +He was in sore distress, which increased all the more as he gave vent to +his feelings. I could not help rejoicing, and told him that God had +wounded him, but that He only wounds to heal, and kills to make alive. + +"Ah," he said, "that is the first thought of comfort I have had; it is +like balm to my soul." + +We knelt down and prayed; then I had the privilege of leading him to +Christ, and we praised God together. + +I gave him some breakfast, and after that rode back with him to see his +wife, whom he had left in the morning in great trouble of mind. We found +her up, and rejoicing. It was most touching to witness the mutual +surprise and joy of these two loving ones, when they discovered that +they were now united in the Lord. + +She told us, that after her husband's departure she was in such terrible +trouble that she got up to pray, and that while she was on her knees she +saw a vision on the bed-cover. Before her was printed, in large visible +letters, "Thy sins be forgiven thee;" she could scarcely believe her +eyes, but with her own finger she traced the letters, and was sure they +were there. Taking them as a message from Christ, she rose and thanked +Him, and now felt quite sure she was saved. I could not help telling her +not to believe in her eyes or her visions, but in Jesus, and the fact +that He had died for her. Having thanked God together, they next began +to think of their servants; so we sent for them, and both master and +mistress told them what the Lord had done for their souls; and while we +were praying, they all three cried aloud for mercy, and found peace. + +This was the commencement of a good work in that town by drawing-room +meetings, and many were gathered to the Lord. Amongst the number was the +mayor of the town, who in his turn wished to have a meeting at his +house. As soon as I was able to fix the day, he invited his friends, but +on finding that so many more desired to come than he could accommodate, +he announced that the meeting would be held at the Town Hall. Great +interest was excited, and it was soon evident that even this building +would not be large enough, so it ended in the Temperance Hall being +selected. The vicar hearing about it, wrote to protest, and asked me to +call on him before I went to the place of meeting. He said it was bad +enough for me to come to his parish to private houses, but to come to a +public room, and that a large one, was quite out of the question. + +I endeavoured to show him that the lecture or address I had come to give +was not an official or ministerial act; but he would not see that. I +also suggested that there was no law against it. He, begging my pardon, +said "The 'Conventicle Act' had not been repealed yet, and that no one +could lawfully hold a meeting of more than twenty persons." + +"But surely," I replied, "that is virtually repealed by the 'Toleration +Act.' A clergyman ought not to be in greater bondage in England than a +layman, or more restricted. Anybody else can come and preach the Gospel +in your parish, and you cannot hinder it. Do not hinder me. It will do +you no harm." + +He said, "I cannot conscientiously allow it. It is against the Canons." + +"Which Canon is it against?" I asked. + +He took down a book and showed it me, but casting my eyes on the one +before, and another which followed, I found that we neither of us +observed the one or the other. Why, then, be so zealous about this? +"Besides," I said, "you are not responsible; you have not asked me, nor +have I asked your consent. Your conscience need not be troubled about +the matter." + +"But," he said, impatiently, "I am determined that you shall not preach +in this parish. I will inform the Bishop." + +I replied, that "the Bishop had not any jurisdiction in this case; there +is no law on the subject. The Conventicle Act only refers to worship, +not to service or preaching." + +He said, that he "could see no difference whatever between worship and +service." + +"But," I said, "I am sure the Bishop knows, and will acknowledge, the +great difference between these two." + +Then, changing his tone, he said, "Now, come, there's a good fellow, +don't preach at the Town Hall." + +"My dear man," I answered, "I am not a 'good fellow' at all I cannot +give it up." + +"Then," he said, "at least please to defer your address for a week, till +we can get the Bishop's decision." + +He asked so kindly and earnestly, and made such a point of it, that I +consented to wait for the Bishop's answer, and defer the preaching for a +week. He was very pleased, and said that I was indeed a 'good fellow', +but the praise I got from him barely satisfied my conscience, and I was +ashamed to meet my friends. I had not gone far before my courage failed; +so, going back, I said that "I must withdraw my consent to defer the +meeting. I will take the consequences and responsibilities, and go on." + +"No, no." cried the vicar, "I will arrange for the Postponement of your +meeting. Look here, I have written out a notice for the crier; he shall +go round the town at once, and tell the people that the meeting is +unavoidably deferred for a week." + +I was very reluctantly persuaded to yield, and then went to my friend +and told him what I had done. He was very much vexed with me, and said, +"Then we must go at once and tell the mayor before he hears the crier." +We did so, and found that this personage was disappointed too, and +advised me to go away out of sight of the people. Accordingly, my friend +and I went to a house which commanded a good view of the town and +principal streets, from whence we could see the people assembling and +dispersing. A large gang of them stood opposite my friend's house, and +asked if I would not preach to them in the open air; and when they +ascertained that the vicar had hindered the preaching, they were much +exasperated. + +In the evening I went back to my own parish, and had the usual service, +which I found very refreshing after so much bickering about +technicalities. + +The Bishop's letter arrived in due time. In it his lordship said, that +he "always had entertained a great esteem for me and my obedience to +authority, and highly commended me for postponing or giving up my +service at the above town." As he did not say a single word of +prohibition, I immediately wrote to the mayor to expect me on the +following Tuesday, "For the Bishop had not forbidden me," and I also +wrote to the vicar to the same effect. Large bills, with large letters +on them, announced that "the Rev. William Haslam will positively preach +in the Temperance Hall at three o'clock on Tuesday next." + +The churchwardens of the parish were requested to attend the meeting, +and protest, on behalf of the vicar, and also to present the +archdeacon's monition. They stood beside me all the time, and after the +service was concluded they showed me the archidiaconal instrument, with +a great seal appended to it. They said that they "dared not stop that +preaching," and so they took their monition back. + +This gave rise to a long correspondence in the newspapers, some taking +part on my side, and some against me. Thus the question was ventilated, +and finally concluded, by a letter from some one, who said, "The Bishop +of Exeter is one of the greatest ecclesiastical lawyers we have, and if +he cannot stop Mr. Haslam, the question is settled; for be sure his +lordship has all the will to stop this preaching, and would do so if he +had the power." + +From that time I never hesitated to preach the Gospel in any parish or +diocese where I was invited. So few of the clergy asked me, that I was +obliged to go out in spite of them, or, at any rate, without asking +their consent, and in consequence of this, I am afraid I became +obnoxious to many of my clerical brethren. Since then things are much +changed. The Earl of Shaftesbury has succeeded in getting an Act passed +through both Houses of Parliament, to settle the question about such +services. Now any clergyman may preach in Exeter Hall, or any other +public non-ecclesiastical building, without consulting the vicar of the +parish. Besides this, a general disposition has arisen amongst the +clergy, from one end of the land to the other, to have "missions," so +that there is no need to work independently of clergymen, but with them, +and very cheering it is to be thus employed. It was not pleasant to +witness the scowl and the frown, nor to get the cold shoulder. Thank +God, times are changed now; but I must needs tell of some of the scenes +I was in, and the opposition I had to encounter, during the years that +are gone by. + + +CHAPTER 16 + +Opposition, 1853. + +I have been telling hitherto of blessing and prosperity in the Lord's +work. Many more cases might have been mentioned, and many other things +of not less moment and interest; but enough has been said, I hope, to +show the character of the work, and give some idea of the amount of +blessing which attended it. But it must not be supposed that the offence +of the cross had ceased, or that the enmity of the carnal mind was never +stirred; indeed, I always doubt the reality of a work which moves on +without opposition. On the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Ghost was +first given, while believers were rejoicing, and sinners were pricked to +the heart, and some mocked, there arose the opposition of others, who +resisted the influence of the Spirit; and being "cut to the heart," they +gnashed with their teeth, and went forward in furious contention against +the Lord's work. So it was with us. + +The opposition ran very high, but I do not think it was of malice or +hatred, but rather "righteous indignation." The instigators of it were +serious and earnest persons, who verily thought they were doing right. +They tried first to save me from what they considered was my +infatuation; and failing that, did all they could to save others from my +bad influence. "I bear them record, that they had a zeal for God, but +not according to knowledge." It was just such a zeal as I had before I +was converted; therefore my heart's desire was drawn out towards them, +and I made continual efforts to win them. + +One dear friend of old time said he felt "so hurt" because I was +changed, and often wondered why "God did not strike me dead for all the +harm I had done to the Church." Another said that he "should not be +surprised if the very ground opened and swallowed me up for my +fraternizing with schismatics. The sin of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram was +nothing to mine." At the Clerical Meeting, which I attended +notwithstanding all this stir against me, I was beset on every side with +something more than loving reproaches; for evidently my old friends were +very much grieved, and could not forgive me for what they considered the +betrayal of Church principles. + +A special meeting or synod of the clergy was convened by the Rural Dean, +to take into consideration among other things, my defection, and to +decide what public notice should be taken on the subject of this great +scandal. I also attended this meeting, and found my brethren in a very +angry and excited state. One after another got up and made grievous +charges against me, about the proceedings in my church and parish. The +burden of their distress, however, seemed to be noise and excitement. + +They said that "There was brawling in my church, and howling in my +schoolroom, women fainting and men shouting in a most fanatical manner. +They had not witnessed these scenes themselves, but they were credibly +informed of them. Moreover, they asserted, on good authority, that I +preached a very different doctrine to that which was authorized by the +Church. I had declared that there was no salvation by the Church and +Sacraments, but by simple faith in Christ; that any man--it did not +matter what his previous life had been--if he only came to my preaching, +and did as I told him, would be saved." These, and many other such +charges, were made and supported by shouts of "Hear! hear!" and cries of +"Shame!" The Rural Dean said he was glad Mr. Haslam was present to +answer for himself; he had observed that I had sat very quietly to hear +others; and he now hoped that a patient hearing would be given to me. + +I rose, and said I was very thankful to be there, and to have this +opportunity of testifying before them all that the Lord had converted my +soul! + +There was a little interruption here, but after a time I was permitted +to go on. I said that before I was converted, I was even more zealous +than any of them against this change, and greatly prejudiced against it. +I actually flogged a big boy in my school for going to a chapel and +professing to be converted; this I did before all the children, and he +promised that he would "never be converted any more." I could, +therefore, well understand their present feelings, and said that I was +not angry with them, but rather prayed that they might, in their turn, +be enabled to see these things as I now saw them, and be saved as I was. + +Upon this, there arose a great disturbance. The Rural Dean gave me +credit for candour, and said he thought I meant well, but that I implied +too much against my brethren; however, he had said before, and would +repeat it, that I had listened quietly' to what others had said, and +that now I was entitled to a patient hearing a little longer. + +But this could not be, for I was stopped at every Fresh statement I +made, and had so many questions put to me, that I begged for only one at +a time. I was enabled to stand my ground calmly, and endeavoured to +answer the charges in order as they were brought out. To all +appearances, I had to stand quite alone in that tumultuous party. We had +met at twelve o'clock, and after four hours were still in the heat of +conflict. + +At last, to conclude this extraordinary meeting, one of the Clergy rose +and said that he felt it was his painful yet necessary duty to propose +that "a vote of censure be passed on Mr. Haslam." It was not seconded, +and so fell to the ground. Whereupon, another rose '"to record a protest +against revival meetings, as contrary to the usage of the Church." This +also failed; and as no one else had anything to say, the conclave of +divines broke up. What they would have said or done, if I had not +attended to be torn to pieces by them, I know not; all I can say is, +that they separated without eating me up. Some of them came to me +afterwards and seemed pleased that I had stood my ground so +good-naturedly, and thought that I had had a great badgering. + +The opposition did not stop there--sermons were preached in several of +the neighbouring churches, and people earnestly warned against attending +certain services, and told not to countenance them by their presence. +The newspapers also took up the matter, and public report was not behind +in its usual exaggeration. + +I give here an extract from a Letter I thought it necessary to write at +this time, on "RELIGIOUS EXCITEMENT": + +"My Dear Sir,--I have been seriously considering, for some time, the +necessity of making a public statement respecting the work of God in +this place; with a view partly of drawing attention to an all-important, +though very neglected subject; and partly with a view of giving some +definite and authoritative form to the various and varied reports which +are in circulation. It is vain to pretend to know nothing about them, +and it is equally vain to suppose that reports about our proceedings are +likely to lose less by repetition, than those on other subjects of less +moment. + +"I embrace, therefore, the opportunity which your Sermon on RELIGIOUS +EXCITEMENT offers, to make a statement. + +"I do remonstrate against your publishing to the world a sermon avowedly +against 'proceedings connected with a neighbouring church;' and that +instead of encouragement, counsel, and cooperation in what I know is the +work of God, I receive this public rebuke. I make this remonstrance the +more earnestly, because several of the opinions you have expressed, are +not, as I believe, consistent with the teaching of our Church; and +lastly, I venture to be the remonstrant, because I am the person, and +mine the church, which are the objects of your animadversions. + +"You hold deservedly a high position among us in respect of rank and +esteem for your piety and learning; but at the hazard of incurring the +imputation of arrogance, I cannot, I must not, and I will not be +unfaithful to the light in which I walk, by the grace of God; and +therefore I do simply and plainly protest, in the first place, against +the supposition that Excitement is a means which I am using, or an end I +have in view; secondly, against the supposition that conversion is a +gradual work, which is to be worked out by Sacraments and Means of +Grace; and thirdly, against a teaching which supposes and actually +declares that a Person may believe, may be pardoned, may be cleansed +from sin, yet not know it." + +"In the sense in which you censure Religious Excitement, namely, as a +means to 'force, as it were, the Spirit of the Lord,' and 'for the +purpose of strongly working on the animal feelings, etc.,' it may be +justly censurable. Those who make excitement the end and object of their +endeavours in a religious movement, must soon find the emptiness of it; +they throw dust into their own eyes, and will ever verify your words +that 'excitement lifts up for a moment and then lets fall again,' and +that 'like dram-drinking, it leaves those that indulge in it weaker than +before.' + +"Those who really are engaged in the work of God, and especially +conversion work, must meet with 'excitement.' It is impossible for a +sinner, under connection of sin, to remain in a calm imperturbable +state: or when the despairing sinner comes to a knowledge of that +Saviour who made Atonement for him, to help being excited with joy. +Noble or peasant, gentle or uneducated, I am sure there will be +excitement, and overflowing joy and gladness. + +"A man who never felt himself a lost sinner, and never knew his need of +the Saviour, may reason gravely of the impropriety of 'excitement,' and +the man who has never experienced the liberty of deliverance from the +'horrible pit, and the mire and clay,' may seem to be wise on the +subject of Christian joy; but he knows it not. The outburst of joy in +the newly born child of God, is as undiscriminating as the joyous mirth +of children. But it becomes more subdued as the child grows on to 'the +conquering young man,' and more chastened still when the 'young man' +attains to that state which St. John terms 'father.' This I have no +doubt is the kind of Christian joy you expect to see, and without which +you are not satisfied.* But, dear friend, remember the perfect Temple +was not built in one, but three days. + +____________________________________________ + +* "I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you +for His name's sake. I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known +Him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye +have overcome the Wicked One."--1 John 2:12, 13. +________________________________________ + +"We are at foundation work; and you rebuke us for an unfinished temple! +Your rebuke is not undeserved in one sense: we ought to have attained to +great advancements, and to have begun long ago; but God has had patience +with us. In this beginning' there seems to be confusion to superficial +observers, and there must be 'excitement;' but this, as I said, is not +the end in view, or the means we use. It is not long since I could +reason a against 'excitement,' and thought as many do now, that in +connection With religion it is irreverent, and unbecoming. + +"Oh, what a snare is this unfeeling 'propriety!' It is really a dislike +of being aroused from sleep; a fearful hugging of oneself into apathetic +security, and lying down in the arms of the Wicked One for a fatal +slumber. Oh that I could 'excite' such persons! that I could arouse +them! that by any means I could awaken these souls from the sleep of +death! I would glory in the censure and rejoice in the blame. Would that +I could reach your heart and the hearts of many of my other brethren; +that we might unite together and raise a louder call! There should be a +more excited blast, as from a trumpet, to stir the masses of those who +come duly and regularly 'to hear us every Sunday,' a louder, stronger, +and more urgent and thrilling cry, Repent! Repent! We want more fearless +plain speaking, more personal appeal. It is not refined to preach of the +grave and death, judgment and hell,--it is 'ranting:' but nevertheless +let us 'rant;' let us be faithful; let us tell the sinner that he must +die; and that he will die in his sins and perish for ever, except he +repent and be converted that his sins may be blotted out. Let us tell +him that he 'is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the +Name of the only-begotten Son of God' (John 3:18): that 'the wrath of +God abideth on him' (verse 35). Instead of arguments against +'excitement,' let us have a united cry against sin and frivolity +wherever it is. There is excitement against 'excitement' now; let there +be excitement, if you will, against indifference, and neglect of +religion." + +Many of the proceedings in our parish were, I confess, more tumultuous +than I could justify, more noisy and exciting than I thought needful; +but I could not control the people. If they had been educated to ideas +of propriety and self-control, the impulse of Divine power, which really +then filled them, might have found expression in a more quiet and +orderly manner. To hinder their rejoicings therefore, though they were +considered so obnoxious, would have been to withstand the Spirit of God. +As the people had not been taught better, I could not interfere with +them; I would rather bear the obloquy of men. + +For instance, one day, by way of change, I had a meeting for the Bible +Society, and invited some of the clergy who sympathized with its object. +They attended, and others came out of curiosity "to see these revival +people." We had a large gathering, and everything began smoothly. 'My +Scripture-reader, who was naturally a most excitable and noisy man, +tried to do his best before the clergy; he spoke of the sweet words +which they had heard from the reverend speakers; it was charming, he +said, to hear of a good cause supported in such "mellifluous accents," +and so forth. He got a little wild towards the end, but on the whole he +was to be praised for his kind efforts to give a quiet tone to the +meeting'. By this time, our friend "Billy Bray" had appeared on the +scene, and gave us chapter and verse from one end of the Bible to the +other, on the subject of "dancing for joy." He propounded his theory, +that if a man did not praise God, he would not rise in the resurrection; +if he only praised God with his mouth, he would rise like those things +carved on the tombstones, with swelling cheeks and wings; if he clapped +his hands (suiting his actions to the words) he would have a pair of +hands as well at the resurrection; and if he danced with his feet, he +would rise complete. He hoped to rise like that, to sing, to clap his +hands, dance, and jump too. The worst of jumping in this world, he said, +was that he had to come down again, but even in heaven he supposed the +higher he danced and jumped, the higher he would be; walking in heaven, +to his mind, was praising God, one foot said "Glory," and the other +"Hallelujah." + +Under Billy's original theories the people were warming up, and becoming +a little responsive, and "Billy" himself was getting excited. In +reference to some remarks which had been made by a previous speaker +about Samson, he said that he felt as happy and strong as Samson; then +suddenly he put his arms round me, as I was standing gesticulating and +making signs to the people to be still, and taking me up as he had done +once before, he carried me down the schoolroom, crying out, "Here go the +postes! Glory! hallelujah!" It was useless to resist, for he held me +with an iron grasp; so I remained still, hoping at every step that he +would put me down. I suppose he imagined himself to be Samson carrying +off the gates of Gaza. 'The people got what they called "happy," and +shouted and praised God most vociferously. I gave out a hymn, but the +joy of the Cornish people could not be restrained within the bounds of a +tune, or form of words. Some of them became very excited and +unmanageable; only those who have witnessed such scenes can understand +what I mean. The power of God was great, though the demonstrations were +very human. My visitors trembled with fear, and made their escape as +precipitately as they possibly could. To those who are not in the power +of the Spirit such rejoicings are unintelligible; lookers-on are +stumbled or offended because they only see and feel the human +manifestation, and not the Divine power; they are like people who get +all the smoke, and none of the warmth of the fire. + +I made up my mind for the worst, for we had a reporter there, and some +others who were only too ready to make the most of such a scene. +Nevertheless I would rather have the same thing over and over again, +than have the most stately and orderly ceremonials conjoined with +spiritual death. These things, with all their proprieties, are very +chilling to living souls, and all the more hurtful because dead souls +are satisfied by them instead of being disturbed. + +Dear Mr. Aitken was very angry with us, when he heard the things which +were reported; and, like a good spiritual father, he came over to teach +us better. He preached one of his own strong sermons, on the difference +between emotion and principle, and after beating us down very hard, his +dear heart relented, and he tried to cheer and lift us up. This last is +always an easy thing to do in Cornwall. The people soon responded to his +efforts, and began to praise God; and then he took fire, and praised +too. Mutually exciting and being excited, his powerful voice could be +heard above the din of hundreds of shouting voices. The dear man was +happy in his soul, and so was I, and we did not care a halfpenny for the +outside world, newspapers, or anything else. + +We had obloquy with opposition; and even to my personal friends I could +not give satisfactory explanations of these things. One suggested that I +should read a paper at the next Clerical Meeting, and give a statement +in exposition of my views and practices. This I consented to do, and Mr. +Aitken kindly helped me to write it. On the appointed day I undertook to +read it, on condition that no one interrupted me till I had finished. It +was a hard task for them to sit still, but they managed to do so; and at +the end, burst out upon me in a volley of censure and disapprobation. I +was obliged to tell them that they were not converted, and therefore +could not understand these things. + +I wrote a pamphlet to show that the Church of England's teaching was +based on conversion, and not on baptism; and that the Reformation was to +the Church of England what Conversion was to the individual reformers. +Taking my own change as an illustration, I said, that I used to rest on +Baptism and the Church, and that now I was standing on the Rock, Christ +Jesus. Once I worked for life, and now I worked from life; that is, +because I possessed it. I declared that this was the characteristic +difference between the Church of England as it is, and as it was when +connected with the Church of Rome. This pamphlet would not satisfy them. +I then wrote and published a letter to the Archdeacon, in which, in my +young zeal, I charged the clergy with being unconverted, and doing the +devil's work of hindering the salvation of souls, and that they seemed +to stand on their parish boundaries and say, "This is my parish, and you +shall not come here to disturb the sleep of death which now reigns." +This poured no oil upon the waters. + +I then wrote another pamphlet upon which I spent much time, thought, and +prayer. I took the manuscript and read it to Mr. Aitken. He walked up +and down in his large room, while I was reading, and ejaculated, as only +he could, "Bless God! Glory be to God!" When I finished, I said, "Shall +I print it?" + +He said, "It is worth printing, but it will do no good. It is like a +little doggie barking at a dead elephant. We shall never convert the. +Church as a body: we must try and get at individuals. I am quite +convinced we shall not succeed unless we work in this, way." + + +CHAPTER 17 + +Individual Cases, 1853. + +An Archbishop of Canterbury, in old times, contrasted public preaching +with personal dealing in this way: When we preach, it is like dashing +water from a bucket upon so many vessels which are arranged before +us-some drops fall into one, and some into another, while others remain +empty; but when we speak to individuals, it is like pouring water into +the neck of a vessel. + +I gave up writing and printing pamphlets, and went on as quietly as I +could with my own work, looking out for individual cases as they +presented themselves in the providence of God. In this way, without +fermenting controversy or keeping up public excitement, I was able more +effectually to impart my meaning, than by printed statements, which I +found were misunderstood or distorted; and what is more, I was able to +apply the truth with an individual "Have you?" It would take more space +than I can afford to tell of the souls which were gained in this way. I +will give here only a few instances, which are interesting, and which +will sustain the thread of my narrative. The first was in the case of +one who began an argument on Baptismal Grace. I asked him what it was. +"I know what converting or saving' grace is; but what is this?" He did +not say more, than that in Baptism he was made a member of Christ, a +child of God, and an inheritor of the kingdom of heaven. + +"But," I asked, "suppose you have not repented and believed, what then?" +Receiving no answer, I continued, "Then, nothing; but the responsibility +and the name." + +A few days afterwards he came to me, saying that I had made him quite +miserable, and asked me whether I meant to deny the necessity of +baptism. I said, "Certainly not, but the condition of faith and +repentance must be fulfilled. Whatever Baptismal Regeneration may be, +Spiritual Regeneration is the work of the Spirit in those who believe in +Christ Jesus." After a long talk and prayer, he appeared to understand +that a conscious change should be wrought in him, and a spiritual +faculty imparted, by which he could "see the kingdom of God." He +remained for the evening service and meeting in the schoolroom and was +much impressed with what he witnessed. Instead of going away, he stayed +with me till after midnight, when he found peace with God (as he said) +in the church where we had been praying. Then he ordered his horse and +rode home; but before he set out, he exacted a promise from me that I +would not mention his conversion to any one. I consented to this, on the +condition that he announce the change which had been wrought in him, +from his pulpit on the following Sunday. + +A few days afterwards my friend came to me in a great rage, and charged +me with announcing his conversion all over the town. I told him that I +was not sure enough of it myself to say anything about it, and that I +had not spoken to a single person on the subject. Still he seemed to +doubt me, for he said his brother had been with him, and had told him +that it was known all over the town that he had been to Baldhu, and that +he was converted. Upon inquiry, I found out that my servant, who sat up +till after mid-night to get his horse, had overheard our conversation, +and was the offending party. + +I am always afraid of persons who are ashamed to acknowledge their +conversion. My friend, I am sorry to say, made no announcement, but went +on preaching as if he had always been the same, and consequently never +came out to be of any use or help in the work. His testimony was +indistinct also, and without any power. He became a very popular +preacher afterwards, which was his great ambition, for he cared more for +a large congregation than for Wining Souls. + +Soon after this, I fell across another of my old friends in the street. +He tried to avoid me, but I went up and shook hands with him. At first +he would not look at me, and said he was afraid of me because I had +changed my views. I assured him that I had not changed anything, but +that I had myself been changed. As he was listening, I went on to tell +him that I had long tried to make myself good enough for God's +acceptance, but finding that Christ would not receive reformed +characters, I came to Him as a poor lost sinner, and He saved me. Seeing +that he continued attentive, I was proceeding to make my meaning +plainer, when he turned round, and looking sternly at me, said, "If I +understand you, I am to cry for mercy as 'a common sinner.'" + +"Yes," I replied, being very pleased to find that he had understood me +so well. + +"Then." he said, "I will do no such thing." With this, he turned away +and departed. When he saw that I was following him, he said, "I desire +you will not speak to me any more. I do not agree with you." + +One morning, a short time after, I was praying and meditating in the +church, when it came to my mind forcibly that I must go to this man's +parish. I rose from my knees forthwith, saying to myself that I would +go; but immediately the thought came to me, "This suggestion is not from +God, for He must know that my horse has lost two shoes, and could not go +all that distance." However, I returned home, and went to the stable to +inquire, when, to my surprise, I found that my man had taken the horse +out very early in the morning, and had got him properly shod. "He is all +right for a long journey, master," he said, "if you want to go." + +"Well," I said, "put on the saddle, and be ready in half-an-hour." I +went in to prepare, and started in due time. On the way I was thinking +what I would say, and how I would begin the conversation, for as yet I +did not know the particular message I was to take. + +When I arrived at my friend's gate, I saw the marks of his horse's feet, +as if he had just gone out. However, I rode up to the front door, and +rang the bell. His wife appeared, and said that her husband had gone +out, and would not be back before six o'clock; she added, "You look +disappointed"; and so I was, for I thought the Lord had sent me with +some message to him. The lady kindly asked me to put up my horse, +saying, "Perhaps he may return sooner; you had better rest a little." I +thanked her, and doing so, went in. + +As soon as we were seated, the lady said, "I have been wishing to see +you for a long time; we have started more than once to visit you, when +my husband's courage has failed him, and we have returned. He says that +he loves you still; but, somehow, he is very much afraid of you." + +Then she went on to tell me that when they were removing from their late +parish to where they now were, having sent all their furniture on, they +were driving in their own carriage; and that coming along ever a bleak +and desolate moor, the horse took fright at something, they knew not +what, and ran away. Because it could not get along fast enough from its +imaginary object of fear, it began to kick, and breaking the carriage in +pieces, made its escape, leaving her and her husband on the ground. He +was not much hurt, and soon rose, and came to help her. She was severely +bruised, and her leg was broken besides. He managed to drag her gently +to the side of the road, where there was a little bank, and, colleting +some of the broken pieces of the carriage, he placed them round her for +protection, and hurried off in order to get assistance. He had to go two +miles and was absent nearly three hours. During that time she suffered +great pain, but it came to her mind all at once that her sins were +pardoned; she was exceedingly happy, and could not help thanking and +praising God. In this state her husband found her when he returned, and +on hearing her talk, became very unhappy, because he thought that +besides her leg, her head was broken too; and that she was going out of +her mind. She assured him over and over again that she was wonderfully +well, and really happy; but he could not bear to hear her talk like +that, and said that he should go mad also, if she did not stop. + +During the six weeks she was laid up, he continually brought doctors and +clergymen to talk her out of her delusion as he thought it, but without +avail. Her happiness continued for several months, and then gradually +died away. She asked me, "Can you tell me the meaning of this?" I was +deeply interested with her experience, and told her that I had read of a +similar one only a few days before. My heart now began to cheer up, for +I saw why I had been sent to this place. I at once pointed her to +passages of Scripture, where we are told that we have forgiveness of +sins through the blood of Jesus, and I put Christ crucified before her +as the object of faith. I told her, that as certainly as the blood Jesus +had been shed, there was mercy and forgiveness for her. I said, "I +believe it, and have forgiveness: and you may have it too; not because +you feel happy, but because Jesus died." She did believe, and we +rejoiced together. + +She exclaimed, "Oh that the Lord would change my husband's heart, and +bring you here for a revival!" + +"Very well," I said, "let us ask Him," and we did so. I then rode home +raising God. + +Before leaving, I promised to come again on the following Wednesday. I +kept my word, and had an interview with her husband; but it was not +encouraging. He said he could not agree to ask for mercy as a sinner, +because he had been baptized. Some months afterwards his manservant came +to me on horseback at three o'clock in the morning, to say that his +master was very bad, and would I come as soon as possible and see him. I +asked, "What is the matter?" "Oh, bless the Lord," said the man, "it'll +all about his soul! ....That is right" I replied, thanking God; "I will +go with you at once," and immediately I saddled my horse, and rode back +with him. + +I found my friend was under deep conviction, and in the greatest misery; +he now thought that he was a most "uncommon sinner," and that there was +no mercy for him, there could not be any! After a time he acknowledged +the power of God to forgive sin, and declared that he believed in +Christ, and I was led to say "he that believeth hath everlasting life." +Upon this text he found peace, and we all praised God together. + +The Sunday following, he asked the congregation to thank God with him +for having saved his soul; and in his sermon told them something of his +experience. Subsequently his church became the centre of a work of God, +as Mr. Aitken's church and mine were in our respective neighbourhoods. + +The power of the Lord overshadowed the place, and there was as usual a +simultaneous melting of hearts all over the parish, and a running +together of the people to hear the Word, and what is better to obey it. +Then followed a true Cornish revival with full manifestations, and Mr. +Aitken came to preach. The fire was burning and shining before; but when +this mighty man stirred it, it rose to a tremendous height. The +excitement of the parson and people was intense, and hundreds of souls +were added to the Church, who had been brought from the death of sin +into the life of righteousness which all the previous preaching on +Baptism and the Lord's Supper had failed to produce. + + +CHAPTER 18 + +A Visit to Veryan, 1853. + +Next, I will tell of a clergyman who was altogether different to the +others I have mentioned. He was one to whom I was much attached, +although we were diametrically opposed to one another, especially in my +Puseyite days. He was Evangelical; I was High Church; consequently, we +fell out more or less, at every meeting, though we never really +quarrelled. After my conversion I made sure this friend would sympathize +with me; but I found to my disappointment he was in reality more opposed +now than before, because I had become, as he called it, "a dissenter." +He would scarcely speak to me, and said, he was not so sure of my +conversion as I was, that he would give me seven years to prove it, and +then pronounce. + +I said, "You are an old bachelor, and know nothing about the treatment +of babies; we do not put our babies out on the lawn for seven days +before we decide whether they are born or not!" + +He could not resist joining in the laugh against his inexperience in +this respect, although he was not over-pleased. With all his +head-knowledge of Gospel truth, he had not seen anything of the work of +the Spirit, and moreover, like too many others, could not distinguish +between death and grave-clothes. Because I announced some sacramental +views after my conversion, he fancied that I must be dead still; whereas +these were only the grave-clothes in which I used to be wrapped. We +shall speak more of this hereafter. + +One day, he came to me and said, "I have been thinking for some time +that I should like to come to your church one Sunday, and see your +work." + +I agreed to this with thanks, as the first sign of sympathy I had found +in him, and said, "Shall I go and take your services in exchange?" + +"Oh no, certainly not; I wish you to be present in your own church. I +will preach in the morning; and in the evening I will be there to see +and hear you." We soon fixed upon the day. He came to dinner with us the +previous Saturday, but before he would sit down he must needs go into +the Church, and adjust the height of the pulpit, and see that all other +things were to his taste. He asked me if I would remove the candlesticks +from the communion table, and let him preach in a black gown. These were +all matters of indifference to me now, so I readily acceded to his +wishes. Having completed his arrangements, we spent a very pleasant +evening together, talking over the work in the place, and then went to +the weekly prayer-meeting; but he took no part. On Sunday morning the +service was conducted at his request, in the usual manner, excepting +that he stood away in the eastern corner of the north side of the table, +"scrootching" away like a Papist, as the people described it. They had +been accustomed to see me stand at the western or outside corner of the +north side. He was much amused at this criticism. + +Then he went into the vestry, having asked for an interlude on the organ +before the last verse of the Psalms (for we sang the metrical version in +those days), and while this was being played he came sailing out again, +and swept up the steps into the pulpit. He gave us an excellent +sermon--preached, as the Cornish people say, "to a form," that is with a +manuscript before him; though he did not look at it much. He showed it +to me afterwards; it certainly was a curious thing, done in cyphers and +hieroglyphics of his own; again and again there appeared a figure with +two horns and a tail; this, he told me, stood for Satan; there were also +many other striking signs. He preached with far more animation than was +his wont, and towards the end of his sermon seemed to forget his +manuscript altogether, and leaned over the front of the pulpit, +gesticulating with his hands, and looking at the people. They got very +excited, and followed every sentence with some response, till he became +excited also. When he came down from the pulpit, he said that he had +never preached with such help before; he had quite enjoyed his own +sermon, and that now he thought he understood the secret of what I +called being "converted." + +He came in the afternoon to the catechising of the children, and +expressed himself very pleased with their behaviour, and readiness in +answering questions. In the evening, he sat in a part of the church +where he could see the congregation, and the preacher, and so make his +desired observations. The service was, perhaps, a little more animated +than usual, and the sermon may have been the same. After this was over, +he went with me into the school-room, where he heard the people pray, +and also thank God for the morning sermon. Several souls were brought in +that evening. + +About ten o'clock at night we returned home, when my friend declared he +had never known a day like this in all his ministry, and never heard of +such things as he had seen. "Your congregation," he said, "is like the +waves of the sea, and mine like a glassy mill-pond. Now I must have you +come and preach in my church. I wonder what the effect will be." + +I agreed, and we fixed upon the second Sunday, as he wanted a week to +announce my coming. + +I was quite eager for the time, and when Saturday arrived, I set off, +intending to stay for several days. On Sunday morning the church was +filled from end to end, the people being on the tip-toe of expectation. +Many anxious ones remained after the sermon to be spoken with, about +their souls. The church was scarcely cleared, before the men came to +ring the bells for the afternoon service. This time, the passages, +chancel, pulpit-stairs, and every available corner were crowded, and the +congregation certainly did not look like a "mill-pond," but more like +"the waves of the sea." + +At the close of this service, the people begged for another in the +evening. The vicar said, "Oh, that is impossible, for I dine at six +o'clock." + +"But," I involuntarily added, "do not mind the dinner; I can come, if +you like." + +He gave me such a look! I continued, "I have had dinner enough for +to-day. I can take the service alone, if you are agreeable." + +"But we have no lamps for the church. It cannot be." + +I was silenced now, and gave up the point; when the churchwarden came +forward and said he would be responsible for lighting the church. + +The vicar at last consented, on condition that he was allowed to have +his dinner in peace. As the time approached, however, he put off that +important meal, and joined me in a cup of tea, after which we went +together to the third service. + +This time it was as much as we could do to get it, and when we did +succeed a most striking sight presented itself. The whole church was +lighted from the pews. Some of the wealthier people had lamps, but the +others had candles, one, two, or more in their respective compartments. +From the pulpit it looked more like a market scene than a church +congregation. I had liberty in preaching, and the people were greatly +moved, some of them greatly agitated-indeed, so much so, that the vicar +thought he would not have another service in the church, and accordingly +announced that the Monday evening meeting would be held in a building +which he named, in a village about two miles off. This was a large +barn-like structure, where they cured fish in the season, but at other +times it was unoccupied. + +The next day happened to be very wet, and, added to this, in the evening +it began to blow as well. Notwithstanding this inclemency, when we +arrived at the "fish-cellar," as it was called, we found it crammed with +people, the women and children occupying the ground, and sitting there +on straw, which had been provided for the occasion, the men and boys +were sitting on the cross-beams of the roof. The heat in the place was +stifling beyond all description, for besides being densely crowded below +and above, the wooden shutters were shut, on account of the wind and +rain, the people's wet clothes were steaming, and there was a strong +smell of stale fish. At first we felt as if it would be impossible to +bear it, but after a little time we became used to the disagreeables, +and had other things to think about. + +I gave out a hymn, and after a short prayer commenced the address, +speaking as loud as I could, that all the congregation might hear me. +During the sermon, the responses were most vociferous and hearty, and +the attention very encouraging. After speaking for about thirty minutes, +I observed a tall, fine-looking fisherman, in large high boots, who had +come in late. He was standing in the little vacant space before the +table, on which were placed two candles and a glass of water. I saw, as +the address went on, that though he was very quiet, his breast was +heaving with emotion, as if something was passing in his mind. All at +once, without a moment's notice, he fell on the ground, and bellowed out +a loud prayer for "God's mercy--I want God's mercy!" Besides upsetting +the table--candles, water, and all--which went down with a great crash, +he fell on one or two women, who screamed, in their fright and +consternation, as only women can. + +If this had been a preconcerted signal, it could not have been more +effectual, for there was instantly a simultaneous as well as an +universal outcry. The whole place was filled with a confused din of +voices; some were praying, some singing, some shouting, and others +exhorting, and that at the top of their voices, in order to be heard. In +the midst of this I began to sing a hymn, hoping to restore order, and +many joined me; but it only added more sound to the uproar. + +The good vicar was overwhelmed with fear and dismay, as well he might +be, at this tumultuous scene. It was bad enough to stand and look at the +waves of the sea; but when they rose and broke, as it were, on the shore +where he was standing, and surrounded him, it was altogether too much. +He made for the door, and, waiting there, beckoned me to him. When I +came he suddenly opened it, and drew me out, saying, "There will be no +peace till you are out of this place." The extreme change from the hot +cellar into the cold and pitiless wind and rain was so great, that we +fled precipitately to the cottage which stood opposite. Happily, the +door was on the latch, and we went in. I felt about in the dark for a +chair, but not finding one, sat on the table, listening to the noise and +din of the meeting. + +The vicar vainly thought that the tumult would subside as soon as I was +gone, for he said that I "made as much noise, if not more, than any of +them!" He went back into the storm to get my hat and coat, and also the +inevitable umbrella, without which no one can get on in Cornwall. He was +a long time absent, during which a man with heavy boots came into the +dark cottage where I was sitting, and tumbling down on a seat somewhere, +heaved a heavy sigh. He evidently did not suspect that any one was +there. After sighing and groaning several times, he said to himself, +"What shall I do?--what shall I do? The man is right, sure enough; he is +right, I'm sure on it--that he is." + +I disguised my voice, and asked, "What man?" + +"Oh," he said, "are you there, neighbour? Couldn't yer get in? Why, I +mean the man what's been speaking inside." + +"What did he say?" + +"Why, said he, 'the devil's no fool!' and of course he ain't. He has +hooks in all his baits, and I have swallowed lots o' them. Oh, what +shall I do? What shall I do?" + +Then I heard him shuffling to his knees, groaning and praying. I sat +still on the table, saying, "Amen! amen!" every now and then, to his +prayer, till he became terribly in earnest, and at last got into a which +the Cornish call "wrastling in prayer." In this condition he was quite +past heeding any one's presence. I helped and guided him to the +Crucified and then he found peace, and began to praise. On coming to +himself, he recognized my voice. "You are the very man," he cried, and +putting great heavy arms round my neck, he nearly strangled me! The +vicar (who I did not know was in the room), here interposed, and got my +release. + +"Here you are," he said, "at it again, and they are getting worse and +worse in the barn--what ever is to be done? We cannot go home through +this rain, and the carriage will not be here for at least an hour. What +am I to do?" + +I said, "Let us go then to the barn for a short time, just to see how +they are getting on." + +After some hesitation, he went in with me, and found the people praying +and rejoicing; but, as I expected, far too much absorbed to observe our +presence. + +After a time, some of the lads noticed me and cried out lustily, "The +parson is here! The parson is here!" and in a moment we were surrounded +by a number of happy people, who were so demonstrative that they made +the poor vicar tremble (as he told me afterwards) with a strange fear. + +They said, "You will come again to-morrow?" + +"Certainly," I replied. + +"Oh, no," rejoined the vicar; "on no account. One night of this work is +quite enough--more than enough." + +I was very loth to give up; but a man said, "Never mind, we will carry +it on. This revival will not stop for a week or fortnight, for certain." + +This was terrifying news for the vicar, who turned, and looking at me +with astonishment, said, reproachfully, "How did you do it?" + +I replied, "This is not my work. I did not begin it, neither can I stop +it; nor would I, even if I could. I dare not. I have known persons +brought under heavy judgment for hindering a revival. Take my advice, +and do not hinder this. Let these men go on; they know what they are +about." + +Soon the carriage came, and we returned to the vicarage; but the dear +man was much put out, and evidently very sorry that he had asked me to +come and disturb his mill-pond. Indeed, he said as much; so I concluded +my visit the next morning. + +Going through the village, I heard that the meeting on the previous +evening was continued until two o'clock in the morning, and that it was +announced there would be one in the chapel that evening. As the Church +refused the blessing, there were others who were happy to receive it. + +I returned home sooner than I was expected, and told my people, at the +evening meeting, the things I had seen and heard; and they "glorified +God." + + +CHAPTER 19 + +A Mission in the "Shires." 1853. + +At the time of which I am writing, twenty-six or twenty-seven years ago, +special services for preaching were not called by the name of +"Missions." I think that word has been derived from some Roman Catholic +perverts, who made aggressive efforts in London, which they called +"Catholic Missions." From them it has been adopted by some who love to +copy Rome and Romish phrases. Strange infatuation, by which these +Romanizers in vain court a Church which despises them, and gives them +neither place nor quarter! However, the word is now well understood, and +its meaning is plainer than any definitions of mine could make it. + +My first journey to "foreign parts" (as the Cornish call it) was to a +town in Devonshire, where I stopped three or four days. The day I +arrived I preached in the church, because it was the regular evening +service; special services were not then known, unless it was for some +Missionary Society, or other such advocacy. The idea of preaching to +awaken souls, was considered very strange and fanatical. The church I +preached in had high pews, which prevented my seeing the occupants. I +was told that it was full, and certainly there were faces visible here +and there; but the whole congregation was so still, that the dropping of +the proverbial "pin" might have been heard. It was all very chilling and +dead, no "Amens!" or "Glory!" as in Cornwall; indeed, the stillness had +such an effect upon me, that I found it difficult to get on. After +making two or three hard appeals, and meeting with nothing but silence +for a response, I concluded, and came away much disappointed and +disheartened. However, the next morning, the vicar showed me some beads, +leathers, and flowers which had been left in the pews of the church. So +I found that the shots had hit somewhere, or something. + +Walking through the town in the course of the day, a tall mason, with a +large whitewash brush in his hand, came running after me (not to +whitewash me) but to ask the question, which he did most eagerly, "Are +you the man that preached last night?" + +I said, "Yes, I am." + +"Oh," he replied, "will you preach tonight?" + +I answered him somewhat doubtfully, "I suppose not," for the vicar did +not know what excuse there could be for my preaching a second time. + +He continued, "Will you come to my house and preach this evening? I have +a good large room at your service, and can promise you a congregation." + +I assented; so we fixed the time, and made all other necessary +arrangements. On coming down in the evening, I found my mason friend had +invited his neighbours, and finding more had promised to come than his +room would hold, he had opened the folding doors between two rooms +upstairs, taken down three large bedsteads, and having borrowed forms +and chairs, he was able to accommodate seventy people. As many as this +came, and more, for men and women stood on the stairs and landing +besides. + +We sang heartily, and after prayer, I felt a little more at home than I +had done on the previous evening'; but it was not up to Cornwall yet! In +my address I had liberty and power to hold the people, and we had some +conversions that evening, and the following one also. My mason friend +was greatly cheered and revived, and from this time began reaching +himself, carrying on meetings in various cottages and farm places. + +From there I went on into Dorsetshire, and arrived at the vicarage to +which I was going, rather late on Saturday night, very tired; so much +so, that I was glad to go to bed as soon as possible. On Sunday morning +I went to church and preached to a large congregation, the words which +God gave me. On coming out, the vicar's wife said, "If I had sat up all +night telling you about the people, you could not have preached more +appropriately; indeed, I am sure that some of them will think that I +told you what to say." + +It was so, for this same lady was charged with telling me to put before +some of the congregation things which her husband dared not! In the +evening the church was crammed to excess, and the people were most +attentive and eager. Some of them could scarcely restrain their +feelings, so powerfully did the Word come home to them. At the +conclusion of the service, I announced that I had come there to preach +every night for the week, and would visit them during the day. +Accordingly in the morning I called at several cottages, in one of which +King George the Third used to attend a prayer-meeting with the country +people. + +In the afternoon I went to the convict prison at Portland. It was sad to +look upon the prisoners clanking about in their chains, many of whom +were employed in making a road to the sea. I could not help saying to +the chaplain, who was walking with me, "What a picture is that! It is +exactly how Satan employs unbelievers to make their own road to hell. As +such, they are condemned already, because they do not believe in Christ; +and for the same reason, their sins not being pardoned, they are bound +in chains." + +"Well," said the chaplain drily, "that seems all clear and scriptural. +Would you like to speak to them?" + +"Yes," I said, "I should." + +He then made a sign to the warder, who commanded that the convicts +should give attention, and the order was at once obeyed. + +Standing on the bank, I spoke to them as they were assembled before me; +but instead of telling them of the devil and chains, as the chaplain +expected, I spoke of God's love to sinners, and said that "chastisement +and sorrows were not sent in anger, but in kindness. God is angry when +the wicked are allowed to go on unpunished; but when punished in this +world, it is not for expiation of sin (for only the blood of Jesus can +do that), but for the purpose of awakening and humbling the +transgressor, that he may with contrite heart return to the Lord, who +alone is able to deliver us from sin and from Satan's power. 'It is +good,' said the Psalmist, 'that I have been afflicted: before I was +afflicted I went astray, but now have I kept Thy word.'" + +Many of the men were so affected, that they sobbed aloud, and I could +scarcely refrain from doing the same thing myself. After this I prayed +that the word spoken might be blessed to those who had heard it, and +then took my leave. It was not easy to dismiss this sad scene from my +mind, nor have I ever lost the impression it made upon me. + +We had a very good time that evening in the church, and there was much +power and blessing. At the close of the service, I gave out that I would +preach again the following evening, and having no opportunity for an +after-meeting, the word preached was left with prayer for a blessing on +it. + +The next morning there came an unexpected, as well as a most abrupt, +opposition to the work; and no wonder, for it was not likely that Satan +would permit it to go on smoothly. A vicar from the neighbourhood, who +had formerly been a military man, and had still the commanding manner of +such, presented himself, and tried to terrify my good and kind friend, +the vicar. He told him that he had heard a great deal about me; that I +was just like Starkie,* and preached the same doctrines; and that he was +deputed by other clergymen to come and ask that my preaching be stopped. +Then he went on to say that I was nothing less than a Jesuit in +disguise; and turning; to me, he said, "Sir, you know you are!" I +replied, begging his pardon, "I can assure you I am not. You must be +altogether misinformed." But he said, again turning round, and sternly +looking at me, "You know I am not mistaken or misinformed; your +countenance betrays you!" I smiled at this, not knowing how my +countenance looked. He was quite satisfied with himself, and rather more +so because he thought he had succeeded in extracting a promise from the +vicar that the services in question should be stopped. + +__________________________ + +* A clergyman who had associated himself with H. J. Prince and some +others, and founded the "Agapemone" at Spaxton, near Bridgewater. +_________________________ + +This officer-clergyman then went away, saying that he was quite +convinced in his mind that I was a Jesuit, and nothing should ever +dissuade him; this interview had confirmed his thoughts on the subject. +My dear good friend was so afraid of that loud, overbearing man, that he +consented to give up the services after that night. + +Presently another clergyman, evidently in concert with the former, +called on the same errand. His more gentle manner and plausible words +had greater effect, so that the vicar more than half decided to have no +service, even on that evening. + +Before he had fully made up his mind, it so happened that there came on +a tremendous thunderstorm, accompanied with hail and vivid flashes of +lightning. This was considered by him quite providential, and an +indication that God wished the services stopped. When the sexton came +over to the vicarage, a little before the service time, the vicar said, +"Don't ring the bell for church tonight; it is of no use: no one can +possibly come out this weather!" + +"Why, sir," said the sexton, "the church have been crammed full this +half-hour. It's no use ringing the bell, sure, for we ain't got no room +for no more people." + +"Now, that is remarkable," said the vicar. "I do think, after all, the +Lord would have us go on. What do you think?" he said, turning to me. + +I replied, "Without doubt I think so. I cannot suppose that the Lord +would send such men, in such a tone, to stop His work." + +"Well, then," said the vicar, "we will go on till the end of the week." + +But this could not be; for in the morning, as soon as he had decided to +stop the services, I sat down and wrote to a cousin of mine, in the +neighbourhood (and the letter had gone), to get me the parish church for +the next evening, and said, "I would come to her on a visit for a few +days, as my preaching in this place was brought to an end." + +I spoke that evening, and announced that I would do so again on +Thursday. On the following day I went on this promised visit to another +part of the county, and was not long in the company of my cousin, before +I found out that she had been brought up in Evangelical doctrines, and +hated Puseyism; but that she had never been converted. In the evening, +we went to the Minster Church, the use of which she had obtained for me. +There, I preached from the words, "Behold, I stand at the door and +knock." (I did not know then, as I old now, that this is a text for +believers.) Accommodating it for my purpose, I made out that many people +assented to evangelical doctrines, without yielding to them: that is, +they heard the knocking, but did not open the door and receive the +Saviour; therefore, they remained unsaved; and if they died like that, +would be lost for ever! + +When I first ascended the pulpit, which stood outside of a high chancel +screen, I looked towards the nave, and saw it filled with high pews, +which, as I thought, were for the most part empty; whereas, I could see +that the choir and chancel, which was brightly lighted, was full of +choir-men and boys, besides many people; so instead of turning my back +upon the many in the lighted chancel, and addressing myself to the +unseen few in the large dark nave, I turned round in the pulpit, and, +looking through the screen, I preached to those I could see. The people +in the nave, however, were most attentive to hear; and after the sermon +came up and asked me why I had turned my back on them, for they could +not hear all I said. Evidently they had heard something which had +interested them. Seeing so many were anxious, we invited those who +wished for further help, or instruction, to come home with us. Many did +so, and we held a kind of after-meeting, in which my cousin and several +others found peace. + +I could not promise to stay there any longer, having settled to return +on Thursday to resume services in the church previously referred to. +Accordingly I went back to a neighbouring town, where my good vicar had +appointed to meet me. He did so, and, without delay, commenced telling +me, that he had had a long talk with some of his brother clergymen, and +had given his word that the services were positively to be discontinued +after that night; he also told me he had taken my place by the coach, +and that I was to start for Exeter the next morning, on my way home. +Then he went on to say that he found it would be dangerous to keep me +any longer, for he should have the whole neighbourhood up about it. In +his timidity, he would rather let the work stop, than be embroiled with +the neighbourhood! + +The evening service was crowded, and the people were very disappointed +that I was not allowed to remain. However, I told them it could not be, +and that I must go--so took leave of them. + +The next morning we rose early, and breakfasted at six o'clock, then +drove out to the turnpike road, to meet the coach at an appointed +corner, at seven. It arrived in due time, piled up high into the air +with passengers and luggage; but having an inside place secured for me, +we were not dismayed at the outside appearance. The coachman got off the +box, and, instead of opening the coach door as we expected, put some +money into my hand, and, with a grinning countenance, said, "There's +your money, sir. Sorry to say can't take you today; hain't got a crevice +of room anywhere. Good morning, sir." In a moment more he was up on his +box, with reins in hand. "Take you tomorrow, sir, same time. Good +morning." And off he went'. Imagine our surprise at being left on the +roadside in this unceremonious way. My good little vicar was most +indignant at being thus treated. "I'll make him pay for that," he said. +"I'll punish him--it's against the law." And then, as if a new thought +had suddenly come to him, he said, "Ah, I know what we will do! Jump +into the carriage again"; and putting my luggage in, he got up, and +drove me to the next town. He said, "We will take a post-chaise, and +make the coach people pay for it; that's it--that's what we will do." + +I suggested that I did not think we could do that, having received the +money back. + +"Ah, that's nothing," he said; "that's nothing. We will take a +post-chaise." + +This scheme was prevented; for on arriving at the hotel, there was not a +carriage of any kind to be had. "Are you sure of that?" said the vicar +(as if all the world was in league with the coach proprietor). "Are you +quite sure?" + +"You had better come and see for yourself," said the ostler, in a surly +tone. + +We went into the yard, and found the coach houses quite empty. + +"That's very remarkable," said the vicar; "but these people are +connected with that coach--it changes horses here. We will go to the +next inn." + +There they did not let out carriages at all! + +"Well now," said the vicar, "this is very remarkable," and was silent. + +"Perhaps the Lord does not mean me to go today," I said meekly. + +"It seems so, certainly. I must say it is very remarkable." + +I suggested that I would stay at the inn till the next morning, as there +was no means of getting on. "Shall I do so?" + +"Oh, no; certainly not--certainly not," said the kind man. "Not at +all--not at all. We will go back again." + +"But," I said, "what will they think when they see me?" + +Poor dear man, like many others he was dreadfully frightened at the +thought of "what will they think?" As if "they" did not go on thinking +whether one gives them occasion or not. + +In due course, we arrived again in sight of the vicarage gate, and there +we saw the vicar's wife, with her hands up in astonishment. She +exclaimed, "What! are you come back?" + +"Yes, we are indeed!" said the vicar, and he was going to tell her how +it was, but she was too impatient to listen, having, as she thought, +something more important to communicate. She said, "After you went away +this morning, the weather being so fine, I thought that I would go into +the village, and see some of the people who were at church last evening. +In passing by widow S.'s cottage, on my way to another, I saw her door +and window open, and heard her praying very earnestly, 'Lord, bring him +back! bring him back!' I thought she was praying about her husband, who +had recently died; and that I would go in and try to comfort her. So I +knelt down by her side, and repeated the words, 'I shall go to him, but +he shall not return to me,' when she turned round' and said, 'Oh, I +don't mean that!' and then, as if she grudged every breath which was +spent in other words, she went on repeating, 'Lord, bring him back! +Lord, bring him back!' + +"'Who do you mean?' I said, 'what can you mean?' + +"She went on, 'O Lord, I saw him go away. I saw them take him away. +Lord, bring him back! bring him back!' + +"I again said, 'Who do you mean?' + +"She took no heed, but went on, 'O Lord, when I opened the window I saw +him coming out of the vicarage gate. Lord, bring him back! do bring him +back!' + +"At last I understood that she was praying for you to be brought back. +Then I said to her, 'Dear woman, do get from your knees, and let me talk +to you.' No, she would not get up. + +"No, I can't get up. Lord, bring him back! bring him back!' + +"It cannot be,' I said; 'he is on the coach by this time--a long way +off.' The woman became frantic at the thought. 'Oh, what shall I do? +what shall I do? Lord, bring him back!' + +"Seeing that I could do nothing in the matter, I went to call on some +other people, and coming back found the widow still on her knees, urging +the same petition without stopping." "Well, that is remarkable," +interposed the vicar. Without a moment's pause, I set off to show myself +to the widow. + +"Now! there you are," she said; "the Lord has sent you back. I laid +awake best part of the night, thinking of some questions I wished to ask +you; and when I saw you go away like that, so early in the morning, it +gave me quite a turn. I thought I should be lost for ever!" + +Her questions concerned her soul's condition. On my putting Christ and +His salvation before her for her acceptance, she found peace; and +afterwards became a good helper in the parish. There were some other +anxious ones she urged me to visit, which I did. On referring to my +letters, written at the time, I find a record of five persons who +professed to find peace that morning. + +In the evening, we had a kind of service in the school-room, with as +many as we could get together, and spent a very happy time in prayer and +praise. + +The next morning I started for home, which I reached late on Saturday +night, or rather early on Sunday morning, and appeared quite +unexpectedly among my people again. I gave them an account of the state +of things in the "shires." This, my first experience of "foreign +missions," was not encouraging. + +Ever since my conversion, I had been over head and ears in conversion +work, and, as a loyal young convert, thought at that time there was +nothing else in the world to live, or work for! How surprised I was when +I found that this was not by any means the first thing in the minds of +my Evangelical brethren; and more so still when I saw that even +preaching for the salvation of souls was put aside altogether, if 'it +did not fit in with the stated service-day of the week, or public +opinion. If people came to church, or better still, to the communion +table, they were considered quite satisfactory enough, even though they +were dead in trespasses and sins. I did not, of course, expect anything +from my own neighbours, for I knew them of old; but from accredited +"standard bearers," I did expect something and got nothing. + +While I was still feeling sore and disappointed, intending not to go out +on such errands any more, I found myself promised to another mission in +a most unexpected manner; but this did not happen to be out of Cornwall, +and therefore prospered better, as we shall see. + + +CHAPTER 20 + +A Stranger from London, 1853. + +A lady in London, reading in the Cornish newspapers about our revivals, +became much interested, and having a strong desire to witness such a +movement personally, proposed a visit to her uncle in Truro, who had +sent her those papers. Being accepted, she came down a long way in those +days, when railway communication was not so complete as it is now. + +This same lady was present at my church on Sunday morning; and +expressing a wish to attend the afternoon service, we gladly welcomed +her to the parsonage. In course of conversation, she spoke of churches +in London where the Gospel was preached in its fullness; and I naturally +asked her whether they had "after-meetings." She said, she did not know +what I meant. "Prayer meetings, for conversion work, I mean." + +"What is that?" she inquired. "Is not conversion God's work?" + +"Yes," I answered, "indeed it is; but so is the harvest yonder in the +corn-fields: it is all God's work, but men have to plough the ground and +sow the seed." + +"Oh, is that what you call revival work? I have read of it; and, to tell +the truth, I have come all the way from London to see it." + +She evidently had an idea that revivals were something like +thunder-storms, which come of themselves, no one knows how or why; or +something that is vented, like an occasional eruption of Mount Vesuvius. + +I said, "Revivals--that is, the refreshening of believers and the +awakening of sinners--ought to take place wherever the Gospel is +preached in faith and power." + +She could not understand it, and said, "It is not so in churches, is +it?" + +"Yes," I replied, "in churches as well as in cottages, halls and chapels +too." + +"I am sure Mr. ---- in London preaches a full Gospel, but I have never +heard of a revival there; indeed, I feel convinced they would not allow +it." + +"Is he converted?" I asked. + +She smiled at the question, and said, "I suppose he is." + +"I mean, does he preach about the forgiveness of sins? and, more than +this, does he expect people to have forgiveness?" + +She said she could not understand my Cornish way of talking--"They do +not speak like that in London." + +"Your sins are pardoned," I said, by way of explanation, in order to get +her to comprehend my meaning from her own experience. "Your sins are +pardoned." She got very confused. "You know," I continued, "that it is a +happy day when Jesus takes our sins away." This only made matters worse. +She became greatly embarrassed. While we spoke of London and Gospel +preaching she was free enough; but the moment I made a personal +application of the subject, she was altogether bewildered. + +At last, with a kind of forced effort, she said, "I have been a child of +God for eleven years." + +"Thank God!" I said, much relieved; "that is what I mean. You have been +converted and pardoned for eleven years. It is all right, then. I did +not intend to perplex you, and am sorry I did not convey ray meaning in +a better manner." + +But I could not smooth down her ruffled feathers so easily, and was glad +when the five minutes' bell began ringing to summon us to church. We got +ready, and went. It happened to be a children's service, and our subject +that afternoon was Joseph's reconciliation with his brethren. Three +questions, among others, were asked and dwelt upon. + +First, "Was Joseph reconciled with his brethren while they were +self-convicted before him, and condemned themselves as verily guilty +concerning their brother?"--"No." + +Second, "Was he reconciled when he feasted with them, and made +merry?"--"No." + +Third, "When, then, was he reconciled?"--"When they surrendered +themselves, and all the eleven were prostrate at his feet, like the +eleven sheaves which bowed to Joseph's sheaf in the harvest field; then +he made himself known to them, and forgave them. It is not when a soul +is under condemnation, nor yet when it is happy, that it is saved; but +when it is actually, once for all, surrendered to Christ for salvation, +then it is He makes himself known to them, even as Joseph did to his +brethren." + +The lady went away. I did not ascertain who she was, nor where she came +from; I was not much taken with her, nor was she with me. Hers was +evidently a kind of religion which I had not met with before, and did +not care to meet with again. + +The next day I went for a few hours' rest and change to the sea-side at +Perran, but there was a burden of prayer on my soul. I could not thank +God for that unknown lady, but I could pray for mercy for her. The +impression on my mind was very clear: I felt that she was not saved. The +day following the burden was heavier still, and I was on my knees +praying for her for several hours in the day. In the evening I was quite +in distress. The next day I was most anxious for her, and could do +nothing but pray, even with tears. This lasted till the following day +(Thursday), when I happened to go into the drawing-room for something, +and there I observed a strange Bible lying on the table. I remembered +that I had seen that same book in the lady's hand on Sunday. I took it +up, and saw a name, and on making inquiry of the servants I found out +that she came in Mr. --'s carriage on Sunday. + +This was enough. I wrote a note immediately, and sent the Bible, saying +that I was greatly burdened for her soul, and should much like to see +her. She sent me a kind letter in reply, appointing the following Monday +for my visit. + +On that day I called, and found her very kind, and seemingly thankful +for the interest I expressed in her welfare. I said that she had nothing +really to thank me for, for I could not help myself; the burden had been +laid upon me. Then I asked her if she would tell me how she became a +child of God. + +She did so readily, and told me that once she was in the world, and as +fond of dancing and pleasure as others with whom she associated; that in +the midst of her gaiety she was called to the death-bed of a cousin, who +was just such a lover of pleasure as herself. Her cousin said, "Oh, +Mary, give up the world for my sake. I am lost! Oh, Mary, give it up!" +Soon she died, poor girl, just awakened enough to see and feel herself +hopelessly lost--a dying worldling. No one was near to point her to the +Saviour, so she departed as she had liked to live, without salvation. +Mary wept at the remembrance of that solemn scene, and said she could +never forget it. "Well," I said, "and what did you do then?" + +She answered firmly, "I knelt down then and there, by the side of the +bed where my poor cousin had just died, and I called God to witness that +I would give up the world. I did so; and have never had any inclination +to go back into its gaieties and pleasures since. I began from that time +to pray, and read my Bible, and go to church; and I love these things +now better than I did the things of the world before." + +At the time of this change, she was led to a church where Evangelical +truth was preached simply and plainly; and thus became distinctly +enlightened as to the way of salvation. She fully assented and consented +to what she heard, and therefore became a very earnest disciple, +enthusiastic about the sovereignty of God and the doctrines of grace, +and all such matters. She understood the meaning of the Levitical types +and offerings; could speak of dispensational truth and prophecy; was +very zealous about missions to the heathen, and was also earnestly +devoted to many charitable works at home. + +There was, however, one little suspicious thing in the midst of all this +manifest goodness. She had not much patience with elementary Gospel +sermons, or much interest in, or sympathy with, efforts made to bring in +perishing souls; she loved rather to be fed with high doctrines, and the +mysteries of grace with its deeper teachings. There are some men who +love to preach exclusively about these things, even before mixed +congregations, addressing them as if they were all real Christians. + +It is surprising how many people there are just like Mary, who seem to +care more for doctrines than for Cod Himself--more for favourite truths +than for souls. A simple, elementary Gospel address, with some clear +illustrations, was just the very thing Mary wanted for her own soul's +good, more than anything; but, unfortunately, this was the thing against +which she was prejudiced, for she abhorred "anecdotal sermons." + +After hearing her story, I said, "It is very interesting; but there is +one great deficiency in it. You have not told me anything' about Christ; +have you nothing to say about the blood of Jesus, and about your sins? +Have you had no real transaction with 'God about them?" + +She said she "did not know what I meant." + +"Did you never come as a sinner, and obtain the forgiveness of your sins?" + +"No," she replied; "that is what I do not understand about your +teaching." + +I showed her, as plainly as I could, that she had not told me about +conversion, but reformation. "You have only turned over a new leaf, and +kept your resolutions prayerfully and well for eleven years; but this is +not turning back the old leaves of your past life, and getting them +washed in the blood of the Lamb. 'He that covers his sins' in this way, +'can never prosper.' If a man owes a debt for which he is very sorry, +and determines that in future he will pay for everything he gets--this +will not pay his past debts." + +She went on to justify herself, and said, "that she knew a great many +good Christian people, and that none of them had ever suspected her as I +did." + +I endeavoured to assure her that I was dreadfully alarmed about her +condition, and was certain that if she died like that, there would be no +more hope for her salvation than for her cousin's. This seemed to rouse +her hostility, and I saw that I had lost influence. However, I could not +blame myself, for I had only said what I felt to be true. I returned +home and prayed for more wisdom. All that night I could not sleep, and +most of it was spent in pleading with God. I felt as if a restless bird +was flying about the room, and something was saying, "She will be lost +forever." I urged my petition again and again. + +The next day I called, and found this lady quite broken down, and ready +to pray and listen to my teaching. I was most thankful, and greatly +relieved after the night's restlessness. I had much happiness in +pointing out the way of salvation as an experimental thing. She knew, +before I did, the doctrine of the A tenement, but she had had no +experience of its real efficacy. Now that her eyes were opened, she was +in right earnest to know the reality of sins forgiven. Soon she found +this, though not yet the joy of deliverance; she knew the peace and +shelter of the sprinkled blood (Exod. 12:13), but not yet the joy and +liberty of being on the rock on the other side of the Red Sea (Exod. 15: +2). I was sure that it would all come in due time, and therefore was +able to take comfort, and also to comfort her. + +I saw a good deal of her at that time, and one day she told me that a +relation of hers, a clergyman, was coming to have it out with me for +saying that she was not converted before. + +"Certainly," I replied, "I shall be happy to meet him, and hope you will +be in the room." + +When the dreaded man arrived, we were introduced to one another. + +"Well," he said, "you are a very different-looking than to what I +imagined. I have heard a deal about you. So you are a Puseyite turned +Evangelical, eh? I have often heard of people going the other way, but I +must say I have never met a man who had come in this direction." He then +asked about the results of my industry. + +I told him what was the effect in my church and parish, and that the +same signs followed the preaching of the Gospel wherever I went. "I +wish," he said, "you would come and preach in my parish. You know a +great friend of mine at Veryam and have preached in his pulpit. Will you +do the same for me?" + +"Oh, yes," I said, "certainly, with pleasure." + +"Now, look at me, for I am a man of business: when will you come? Name +your day." + +I looked at my pocket-book, and fixed upon a certain Monday. + +Then he arranged that we should have a kind of missionary meeting, "In +the course of which," he said, "you can preach as much Gospel as you +like. If it goes well, we will have a lecture the next evening on 'Heart +Conversion,' and another the evening following, on something else." He +was "quite sure noone would come to hear a sermon only. It must be a +missionary meeting, or something of the kind, to bring the people out." + +On the day appointed, the barn where we were assembled was well filled, +and seeing that the people were interested, the vicar gave out, "Mr +Haslam will lecture tomorrow evening on Heart Conversion." + +The next evening, when we arrived, we found the barn quite full, and +numbers standing outside; besides, there were many more whom we passed +on the road. So it was determined that we should go into the church and +have a short service. The edifice was soon lighted, and filled, and +after a few collects and hymns (for they had a hymn-book in that +church), I went up into the pulpit, and preached upon the absolute +necessity of conversion--no salvation without it. As to "heart +conversion," what is conversion at all if the heart is not touched? Then +I treated my subject from another point of view. "Every converted person +here knows what heart conversion is; and if any one does not, it is +clear he is not converted. If he dies in that state, he wilt be lost for +ever!" I concluded the sermon with prayer; and while I was praying in +the pulpit, one after another of the people in the pews began to cry +aloud for mercy. My friend Mary likened it to a battle-field, and me to +a surgeon going from one wounded one to another to help them. At eleven +o'clock we closed the service, promising to hold another the next day. + +On Wednesday morning Mary awoke from her sleep with a voice saying to +her, "Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world." + +"Then all my sins are gone. He has borne them. He 'Himself bore our sins +in His own body on the tree.'" + +She was filled with joy unspeakable, and came to breakfast rejoicing. +The lady of the house was in tears, the servants were troubled, and the +vicar alternately glad and sorry, for he was not sure whether it was +excitement or the work of God, and did not know what to make of it. +However, in the evening he broke down in his reading-desk in the middle +of the sermon, and burst out, "Lord, save me!" In an instant the whole +congregation was up, and the people everywhere either crying for mercy, +or rejoicing. The power of the Lord was present to heal them, and many +souls were saved that night; and besides these, there were others who +were troubled. + +Amongst this number was the young squire of the parish. He was +afterwards decidedly converted to God, and took great interest in the +work. When twitted on the bench by his brother magistrates about the +revival, he stood his ground manfully, and gave good testimony. He +continues to this day a bold champion for the truth as it is in Jesus. + + +CHAPTER 21 + +Golant Mission, 1854. + +It is a good plan to strike while the iron is hot;' and as the people at +Colant were in an interested and receptive state, I put off other things +which had been appointed, and made arrangements to return to the +battle-field as soon as possible. My people were much excited to hear +what I was able to tell them of my three days' visit, and they wished me +"God speed" for my next venture, praying most heartily for great +blessing. + +Accordingly, on the following Monday I went back to Colant, and found +the place (an unusually quiet country village), together with the whole +neighbourhood round, including two or three small towns all astir. As a +rule, in order to insure success in a mission, there needs preparation, +visitation, and prayer; and I have observed that when there has been no +preparation in the way of public announcements of services, the people +have not come out, and the mission has been a failure. Where there has +been a regular system of visitation, without prayer, the congregations +have been abundant, but the services have been dry and hard; but in +places where preparation and visitation have been made with much prayer, +there has ever been a most unmistakable blessing. So much for human +agencies, which are necessary to us, though God is not bound to them. + +There had been no preparation for the mission I am about to tell of, no +visitation, nor any special prayer; and yet it pleased the Lord to give +in this little village such an outpouring of His Spirit and +demonstration of His Power as is rarely known. There was a great running +together of the people, notwithstanding the difficulties of access to +the church. Some had to come several miles from the towns by road, some +by sea, and others across a tidal river where mud abounded; and after +landing, they had to climb a steep hill. None of these things, however, +deterred or discouraged them; they came, and they would come, in spite +of everything which was urged at other times as an excuse for staying +away, even on dark nights. It was the day of the Lord's power, and He +made them willing; so much so, that in some places work was suspended, +and people came even three times a day. + +On the Monday evening, when I arrived, I found that the church would +scarcely hold the people who bad gathered to hear the Word of God. It +was a time of much blessing, and we remained there hard at work till +eleven o'clock, when, having four miles to go in order to get home, I +closed the service, offering to meet any anxious souls there at +half-past ten the next morning. This I did, and was surprised to find a +number of persons waiting, even at this early hour. + +There were too many to speak to individually, so I addressed them +collectively, giving the ordinary instruction to seeking souls. In the +afternoon we had a still larger number, and in the evening a crowded +congregation; in this way the work continued, with three services a day +throughout the week, accompanied with remarkable conversions every day. +Among the number of those who attended was a surgeon, his wife and +brother, and the wife of a respectable yeoman. These, together with +several more from the village on the other side of the river, were +converted to God. Their rector was amazed to see them so changed, and +wondered by what process this was accomplished. He attended an afternoon +service, and was astonished to see so many people present on a week-day. +Afterwards introducing himself, he asked me very politely, "What is the +secret of all this?" He stud, "I have heard you preach, and certainly do +not agree with most part of what you said, nor do I see anything either +in your manner or matter which can account for this effect and work +amongst the people. I must say, I cannot ask you to my pulpit, but I +should much like a talk with you. Will you come over to luncheon with +me?" + +I liked the candour and gentlemanly bearing of the man, and wished to +go, but could not fix a time while I was so much occupied; so I promised +I would write, and offer him a visit when I had more leisure. + +In addition to the three services in church, we had another in the +morning at seven o'clock, in the town where I slept. There we gathered +the anxious ones who had been at the church the night before, and had +come away early on account of the distance. The little town was all in a +commotion, and the vicar in this place was beginning to get furious +about my holding this meeting in his parish; his daughter, in +particular, went about warning the people against attending it. Some +young men hired a four-oared boat to come to the evening service, +intending to disturb the congregation. They arrived in good time, but, +for all that, they were too late to get a seat. One young man, the +ringleader of the party, instead of causing a disturbance, stood still +and listened most attentively. I preached that evening from the words, +"And the door was shut," referring to the ark, and the awful desolation +and doom of those who were shut out. All the time I was preaching, I +could see this same man standing before the pulpit, with his elbow +leaning on the end of a high pew. He maintained this position throughout +the service, and at the end of the sermon was still there, rigid and +stiff, looking at the pulpit as if in a trance. He would not move or +speak; there he stood, till we feared he had gone out of his mind. His +companions were awed and took him away as well as they could, but did +not embark on their return journey till after midnight, and then the +tide was against them. + +Soon after they had started, the wind rose, and there came on a great +storm; the thunder was loud, and the flashes of lightning awful. The +wind became so strong and violent, that, in spite of all their efforts, +the boat was stranded; they managed, however, to get out and pull it out +of the water, and took refuge for a time under overhanging rocks on the +shore. The young man continued as one stunned, and said nothing. There +they remained till between four and five o'clock in the morning, when +the storm abated, and they were able to set out again. At last they +succeeded in reaching home. + +While these unfortunate young men were battling with the elements, we +went home by land and had a night's rest, though it was but a short one. +I rose and went to my meeting at seven o'clock, and on arriving found +the room quite full, there being only one chair unoccupied. As I stood +to 'speak, this seat remained vacant, so I beckoned a young man who was +standing at the door to come and take it. He looked worn and sad, and I +thought I recognized in him the same young man I had noticed the +previous night, and who, I was told, was the ringleader of the party who +came in the boat with the purpose of disturbing the meeting. He sat +down, sighing heavily several times. + +Almost directly a man came forward and whispered to me, "You have a wolf +near you--take care!" + +"All, right," I said, "he is tame enough now; there is no more bite in +him." + +"Yes, yes," said the young man, overhearing us, "no more wolf. O God, +change me to a lamb!" + +Poor fellow! he was in great trouble all day, and fainted away several +times before he found peace, which he did very dearly. He came to the +evening meeting, shouting "Hallelujah!" and stirred us all greatly. +Several others of the same party were also converted. + +The news of this made some of the town's people furious; and, being the +fifth of November, they consoled themselves by making a straw effigy to +represent me. They put on it a sheet in place of a surplice, with a +paper mitre on its head, and, setting it on a donkey, carried it through +the town, accompanied by a crowd of men and boys, who shouted at the top +of their voices, "Here goes the Puseyite revivalist! Here goes the +Puseyite revivalist! Hurrah! Hurrah!" In this complimentary sport the +curate and one of the churchwardens took part. + +That same night this churchwarden (who, I should say, had been one of +the boating party two nights before) had a dream. He dreamt that his +house was full of people, just like the church he had been in; all the +rooms, the staircase, and even his own bedroom, were filled with people +standing. There was a tremendous storm of wind and rain; the thunder +rolled, and the lightning flashed. In the midst of this a voice said to +him, "This is all about you, you sinner!" He awoke up out of his sleep +in a terrible fright, and began to cry to the Lord to have mercy on his +soul. + +I was sent for before five o'clock in the morning to come and see him, +for his friends said that they thought he would go out of his mind. +Instead of this, he came to his right mind, for the Lord heard and +answered his prayer, and brought him from darkness into light, and from +the power of sin and Satan unto God. He went with me to the early +morning meeting; there we had the two chief leaders of the riotous party +in a changed condition, for which we heartily thanked God. + +Their friend, the curate, was very excited and angry about this, and did +not quite know who to blame. He said that he would write to the Bishop +and tell him what was going on; and I believe he did not fail to carry +out his intention. As there were many who, from various causes, were +unable to go four miles to an evening service, I managed to secure the +Town Hall for a course of lectures on the "Pilgrim's Progress." The +curate came to the first, and, after hearing the lecture, stood up to +speak, and gave went to his feelings by saying a great many very angry +things. The people were so indignant, that I could scarcely restrain +them from laying hands on him to turn him out. + +Some of the old forms and seats in the Town Hall (which was not +accustomed to be so crowded) broke down with the weight of people. The +vicar's daughter suggested that most likely they should hear next that +"the forms and seats were converted, for she had been told already that +they were broken down." This little straw will show which way the wind +blew in that quarter, and what was the drift of this lady's mind. + +My friend with whom I was staying was evidently much perplexed, and +found himself let in for far more than he had calculated when he invited +me. He certainly would never have asked me had he foreseen such an upset +as there was everywhere, especially in the town in which he lived, and +the country parish of which he was vicar. + +At last he made up his mind to take me with him to consult a clerical +neighbour, upon whose judgment he greatly relied. On our way a sudden +thought of misgiving came over him; he all at once turned to me and +said. "I say, my friend, I'll be done with you altogether if you say Mr. +---- is not converted!" + +"Then," I replied, "you may be sure I will not say it." + +"But suppose you think so?" + +"Well, I must confess I think so already, and not without good reason +(at least, to my mind), for he has taken no interest whatever in this +remarkable work of God, nor has he shown the least sympathy in the +spiritual welfare of many of his parishioners, who have received +blessing at the meetings. His High Church neighbour, who does not +profess to be converted, could not help coming over to ask about it, +while your friend has never been near, nor even sent to make inquiry. +Besides this, one of his own people told me that he was much put out, +and very angry with you for asking me." + +"Ah," said my friend, "we are not all revivalists like you, remember." + +"Well," I said, "let me hope you are a deal better than I am." + +He seemed very uneasy at taking me on after this conversation; but as he +had written to say we were coming, he thought we must go forward. In +order to ease his mind, I made an agreement with him that during +luncheon I would tell about the conversion of one of Mr. --'s +parishioners, and said, "While I do so, you watch his face. If he is at +all interested, I will conclude that I am wrong, and that he is +converted; but if he is not, I will leave you to judge for yourself. I +must say, I cannot understand a converted man not interested in the +conversion of others, even if it does nothing more than remind him of +his own." + +My friend agreed to this, and seemed somewhat relieved in his mind. + +On our arrival, Mr. -- received us courteously, and asked after the +family--indeed, about everything he could think of but the work. + +My friend, after a little pause, said, "Have you not heard of the +revival?" + +"Revival!" he said, calmly. "What is that?" + +"The special services in my church." + +"What services?" + +This evidently was enough. He went out of the room to try and hurry the +luncheon. My friend looked very thoughtful, and said nothing, but was +clearly beginning to suspect that the judgment I had formed was not far +wrong. + +In course of the luncheon I told my story, but not without being +interrupted over and over again by the host's attentions, and +importunities to "take more vegetables." "Have you any salt? .... Will +you take some bread? .... Will you not take a glass of wine?" It was +quite evident he wished the story at an end. + +My friend said, "That is one of your parishioners he is talking about." + +"I suspected so," he replied. "All I can say is, that if Mr. Haslam had +only known that man as long as I have, he would never speak of him as he +does. This is not the first profession he has made. He has been reformed +and changed several times before this, and has always become worse +afterwards." + +"That is just the very thing Haslam says," said my friend--"that some +reformations are all flesh, and not the work of God; and, as such, can +never stand. I believe the man to be converted by God this time." + +"We will see--we will see," said our host, quietly helping himself to a +glass of wine. "For my own part, I don't believe in these things." + +My friend and I exchanged looks. I was silent, but he continued, "I am +bound to say that I was never converted before, nor yet my wife, my +daughter, or my sister." + +"What!" said the vicar, starting, "you mean your sister Mary? Well, that +is enough! I don't wish to hear another word about your conversions +after that! I can only say that if I were half as good as Mrs. S---, I +should be well satisfied." + +"Well, now," replied my friend, "do come over and see her, and hear what +she has to say about it herself." + +"No, thank you," he replied; "I have no desire to interfere in such +matters." + +There the conversation stopped, leaving a wall of separation between the +two clerical brothers, who had together professed to be Evangelical, and +cordially hated sacramental religion. They had also professed to believe +in salvation by faith only; but for all this they never urged upon their +people to perform any acts of faith--they only expected them to receive +the doctrine. I found that such people opposed me and my work a great +deal more than even High Church men. + +My friend and I returned home, and he told his wife and sister the +result of our visit. They said that they were not surprised, for they +had made up their minds on the subject, and were quite sure that Mr. -- +had no personal experience, though he was so intelligent about the +doctrine of salvation by faith. + +The work, in the meantime, went on and spread. Some of the people came +over from Mr. --'s parish to ask me to come and preach to them in a +large sail-loft, which they had prepared for the purpose. My friend +would not consent to my going, and I was obliged to give them a refusal. +The next day they sent again, not to ask me to preach, but if I would +just come over to visit a sick man who was anxious about his soul. My +friend hesitated at this also. I said, "Why do you object to my going to +see the poor fellow? You took me to the vicarage to talk to the vicar +himself; surely you can let me go and do the same thing to one of his +parishioners." + +"No," he said, "I cannot; that is quite a different thing." + +Seeing that he was unwilling, and that it would displease him, I gave it +up, and went to the messengers and said, "I cannot go." + +They were not satisfied, and asked "if the ladies would please to go;" +meaning my late dear wife and Mrs. S. (Mary), whom they had seen working +in the after-meetings. + +My friend did not see any objection to the ladies going, and the men +seemed better pleased than if I had gone. They visited the sick man the +next day, and after that were asked "just to come and speak to a few +people up here" that was, in the adjoining sail-loft. On entering the +place, to their astonishment, they saw about three hundred people +sitting quietly waiting. + +"What is this?" asked my wife. + +The man said, "I only asked a few, but all those people are come. Do +give them just a word." She had never yet ventured on addressing a large +company like that, and Mary was shocked at the idea; but still, they +were afraid to refuse; so they mounted the carpenter's bench, which was +placed there with two chairs on it; and after a hymn and prayer, Mrs. H. +gave an address, which Mary told me afterwards "was far better than +anything I ever preached." They had an after-meeting, and some +conversions, and promised to come over again. Thus the work spread to +another part, and I had to go there also. + +Poor Mr. -- was very excited about this, and said that he "thought it +most ungentlemanly." I dare say it was, and that I was somewhat uncouth; +but I never stop to consider prejudices and fancies when the Lord's work +is in the way. + +It was a widespread and remarkable awakening, and one not without much +opposition and jealousy. I happened to say from the pulpit, that at one +time before I knew the truth I used to be quite a popular man: people +liked me, and clergymen let me preach in their pulpits; but now that I +had something to tell for the good of souls, they seemed to agree to +keep me out. Very few were so bold as the vicar of this parish, who had +not only invited me, but stood by me also. + +A neighbouring clergyman, who was an important man--a prebendary, and +what not--wrote to the vicar to ask if it was true that I had said in +the pulpit that my clerical brethren scouted me, and would not let me +preach for them. + +The vicar very wisely handed the indignant prebendary's letter over to +me to answer, which I did. In my reply, I took the opportunity to put in +some Gospel teaching, which was supposed to be very irrelevant matter, +and counted evasive. I did not deny that I had said something to the +effect of which he complained, but I pleaded in extenuation that I was +justified in doing so. He was more enraged by my letter than by the +report he had heard, and threatened to publish the correspondence. This +he did, with a letter to his parishioners, in which he warned them +against revivals in general, and me in particular. He told them that I +was "infatuated;" that I had "usurped the judgment seat of Christ;" that +I was "the accuser of the brethren;" that I "acted the devil's part now, +and was to be his companion hereafter." I thought of giving more choice +extracts from this publication, but on second thoughts I consider it +better to pass it over. + + +CHAPTER 22 + +The High Church Rector, 1854 + +Let bygones be bygones. I am thankful to say times are changed, but the +letter referred to in the last chapter, though expressing the sentiments +of one man, yet showed the feeling of many others. I do not complain of +it, for I must say I rather like the outspoken opposition of the natural +heart; it is far better, and much less trying, than smiling indifference +or hollow assent. + +The work which began in this part went on and spread. The refusal of the +clergy to take it up sent it to the chapels, where it was continued for +miles round. For this reason I was charged then, and have been since, +with encouraging Dissent, but the accusation sits very lightly on me, +for I know what I would rather have. Nothing would please me so well as +to have the clergy converted, and taking up the work; but if they will +not, then I would rather that the Dissenters had the benefit, than that +it should die out and be lost. Dissent makes division, but it is +necessary for vitality, under present circumstances, and counteracts the +great evil of spiritual death. The light of God ought to be in the +Church of England, for it is the Lord's candlestick in this land; but +when the truth is not represented, and the Church is dark, it is a mercy +that God has been pleased to raise up witnesses for Himself in other +bodies. + +The Calvinist, with a needless bitterness, holds up God's sovereignty, +as if man's will were not free; the Arminian is equally energetic for +man's responsibility, as if God were not sovereign; and the Quaker is a +witness for the work of the Spirit. These, and several others, each +maintain their particular doctrine. They are raised up to show +respectively their own portion of the light, because the Church, which +has in her formularies all these great truths, is remiss in her duty. +The full blaze of light which ought to be emitted from her to all sides, +is shed upon her in detail from others; and her members are too often +lighted from without, and not from within. + +In many parishes there was no light, and no life or testimony in the +Church; and had it not been for the chapels, men and women might have +perished in ignorance and error. + +Imperfect and erroneous as is some of the Gospel which is preached in +chapels and rooms, there was more vitality in it, and also more saving +power, than in the refined and critical teaching which emanated from +many of the accredited and accepted preachers of the land. Where the +Church was rising up into energetic action, in too many cases it had a +sectarian, and not a catholic object--that is to say, it was aiming to +make Churchmen and communicants, or members of guilds, instead of +proclaiming the Gospel for the salvation of souls. + +The sovereignty of God, the responsibility of man, and the work of the +Holy Ghost, were frequently altogether overlooked, although this is the +true catholic teaching. In this I comprehend not only the bringing of +souls from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive the +forgiveness of sins, but also that believers might go on to have "an +inheritance among them that are sanctified by faith in Christ Jesus." +Churchism, with its sacramentalism, is as sectarian as any form of +Dissent, Romanism included; for it falls short of God's object, as +declared in the Word. + +When the work at Golant church abated, I had more time for looking +about; so I proffered a visit to the High Church rector, who had asked +me to come over and tell him the secret of my success. He readily fixed +upon a day, so I went over to luncheon; after which we began to talk. +The curate, who was present, and who had heard some ranters shouting and +screaming in the "shires," kept on every now and then putting in a word +of caution to restrain the rector from admitting too much; for little by +little he was yielding to me. I spoke of letting down the nets for a +draught, and catching men, not to smother and kill them in some Church +system, or by some erroneous teaching, but to keep them alive. "This," I +said, "is the meaning of the word in the original;" and we looked it out +in the Greek. It was very interesting. We then talked over the +difference between the Church system and that of the Bible. The one, I +said, makes apostolic succession and the sacraments the channel of +salvation; the other the Word of God, as applied by the Holy Ghost. + +We had a great battle on this point, two against one; but having the +Word of God on my side, I stood by my experience. I had myself been on +the other side, and was then ten times more zealous and earnest than +these two were. I said, "I used to preach salvation by Church and +sacraments once, but I was not saved that way. I used also to teach that +the new birth was by Baptism; but I was not born again when I was +baptized. Were you? Are you quite sure that, with all your faith in +Baptismal Regeneration, you are born again of the Spirit? Are you +satisfied that you are now saved because you are in the Church?" + +They were dumb. So I went on to say, "I have no party or sectarian +object in my work; my only desire is to bring souls to Christ Himself +for salvation. I used, as a priest, to think I was mediator between +Christ and the sinner, and that I had received by delegation some power +for this purpose; but now that I have been over the ground +experimentally, I would as soon blaspheme God in your presence, as dare +to absolve a sinner, or come between Christ and him. My orders are to +bring them from the power of Satan to God, and to Christ crucified, for +forgiveness of sins." + +At this point the rector brought out a printed sermon by Dr. Pusey, on +Justification by Faith, which he had been carefully reading. I asked him +to read it to me. The first few pages contained statements of the +doctrine in New Testament words, with a fair exposition of them; but +when the author same to his own thoughts about the subject, he said that +Baptism was the cause of justification. Here I challenged the statement, +and said, "Have you any references there--any 'stars' or 'daggers' to +that?" "Yes," he answered, "references to the Fathers." I replied, that +"the Fathers were not inspired, There is no such thing as 'Justification +by Baptism' in the Scriptures; it is by faith only, as you will see in +the fifth chapter of the Epistle to the Romans." + +"Yes," he said, "that is just what Dr. Pusey means--Faith, as shown in +Baptism." + +"Then," I said, "according to that, in your Baptism you were justified +by Faith; and as a consequence you have peace with God, and have access +into grace, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. You will see +that St. Paul connects this experience with what he calls Justification +by Faith. Evidently he did not expect so much from Baptism as you do, or +for a certainty he would have baptized every one he could reach; but, +instead of this, he thanked God that he had only baptized a few persons +whom he named (1 Cor. 1: 14-17). He had gone about for three years, +teaching the Ephesian Christians, even with tears, and he called them to +witness, not that he had administered the sacraments, and done priestly +work among them, but that he had ceased not to teach, and to preach, +'repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ'" (Acts +20:21). + +My two High Church friends were not convinced, though they could not +answer me. It was a question in their minds who was right, Dr. Pusey, or +this "Fanatical Revivalist." + +"Come," I said, "there is your man-servant outside in the garden; he was +converted two weeks ago; and though he cannot read, I feel sure he knows +more about this than the author of that learned sermon. Let us call him +in and read a few pages." + +We did, and told him to sit down while we read a little while. + +The rector began, and, as he went on, Sam's face lit up with joy, until +the rector came to the sacramental passages; than any one could see +Sam's interest was gone. He became very restless, and at last +interrupting, said, respectfully, "If you please, sir, is there much +more of that?" + +"Why, Sam," said his master, "don't you like it?" + +"No, sir," he said; "that man ain't converted at all!" + +"Well, that is strange," said the rector; "I saw his interest went off +just at the very point where you took exception to the sermon. You and +Sam under stand something that I do not know." Thus our sermon-reading +concluded, and, besides this, my witness had given his testimony. + +I had stayed already two hours longer than I intended, and was tired of +talking. The rector asked me to remain, and dine with him, and promised +that he would send me to church in the evening in time for the service. +I agreed to this; so he kindly took me upstairs to wash and rest. Coming +into the room with me, he shut the door, and said in confidence, + +"I know you are right; my mother taught me all this when I was young!" + +"Then," I said, "we had better kneel down and pray about it." + +We did so. In his prayer he entreated very earnestly that the scales +might fall from his eyes, and that these truths which he loved when he +was young might be brought to him again. + +He was only praying for truth, and not for pardon and salvation; so I +pointed this out to him. + +"Yes--yes," he said; "Lord, save me! Lord, save me! Pardon me!" + +I believe he found peace before he came down; but it is more difficult +to pronounce in the case of educated, than in that of uneducated people. +In the latter, the transition from darkness to light and life is often +very manifest; whereas in the case of the educated, the effect is not so +clear. + +However, he came down to dinner, and it was not long before he roused +the anger and contempt of his wife and curate, by saying, "I am +converted." They tried hard to laugh him out of it, and asked him which +of the chapels he would join? They suggested he had better be a +Bryanite; Mr. Haslam is king of the Bryanires; and so on! + +I was happy to hear all this, and could not help telling them so: first, +because the rector was counted worthy of such taunts; and, secondly, +because their natural enmity was raised. I said that I hoped they would +both be converted also, and that very soon. + +When I was leaving for my service, the rector, in bidding me good-bye, +said, that he "was sorry he could not go with me; but would I come and +preach in his pulpit on Sunday?" I promised that I would. + +On the way, Sam, who was driving me to church, became much excited, and +seemed beside himself for joy. Putting up his arms all of a sudden, with +reins and whip in either hand, in the act of praising God, he frightened +the horse, so that it ran away at full speed. + +"Oh, never mind---never mind!" he said, "don't be frightened! No doubt +the old devil 'ud like to upset both on us; but I am sure the dear Lord +will take care of us, don't fear." + +Certainly there was need, for the horse went headlong down a long narrow +hill, and if anything else had been on the road, we must have come into +disastrous collision. We were, however, carried safely down, and reached +the church in good time. + +Sam's joy, I need scarcely say, was all about the master's conversion, +and the fact that I was to preach in their church on Sunday--two +circumstances he did not fail to announce to every one he met. + +He put up his horse, and stayed for the service. In the after-meeting, +when he prayed, he sent up his prayer with a thanksgiving for these two +things, which set the congregation praising God also. + +Thus the revival, which began on one side of the river, passed over to +the other, and brought out people from another town, and also villages +beyond. There was a great awakening in that part of the country. The +curate found peace on the Sunday, and many more; but not the rector's +wife. She continued her opposition most vigorously. + +The wisdom of the serpent is seen in capturing the wife first; but still +I am sure in this case that the serpent's wisdom was outwisdomed, for +her persecution made her husband pray and work all the more earnestly. + +People in these days did not regard "missions" so complacently as they +do now. The very idea of preaching night after night, not for some +Missionary Society, or for collections, but simply for the conversion of +souls and the salvation of sinners, seemed to cast a slur upon ordinary +preachers, as if they did not aim at such a thing; and upon people +generally, as if we meant to imply that they needed it. Most certainly +they did. + +I believe ordinary preachers in the churches of that neighbourhood did +not expect conversions; and most of the people were unconverted. I could +not help telling them so, which only roused their wrath so much the +more. + +From this place I returned home; for my prolonged absence, I found, was +likely to bring me into trouble. Other clergymen might go away for +months, travelling or salmon fishing; but if I was absent for a few +weeks, I was supposed to be neglecting my parish. On my return, I had +much to tell, and did not expect to be invited out again in a hurry; for +very few clergymen would willingly desire to be drawn into such a +whirlwind of storm and trouble, as my visits usually involved. + + +CHAPTER 23 + +A Mission in Staffordshire, 1854. + +THE work at Baldhu, which had been going on almost incessantly for three +years, was now beginning to flag; that is to say, there was not that +ardent and eager attendance at the services and meetings, to which we +had been accustomed in the revival time. We had had occasional lulls +like this before, but they did not last more than a few weeks; and then +the "swallows" returned, and the bright hot summer of work came again +with its loud songs and pleasant fruits. This dullness was continuing +longer than usual; the crowded congregations were falling off; strangers +did not come from a distance; the people at home were not so lively. +However, the classes were continued, as also the services at the church, +and the number of communicants did not decrease. Still any one could see +that the revival was over. It was rather discouraging to me, and a cause +of triumph to some outsiders; but we were occasionally cheered by work +amongst visitors, and with sick-bed cases. + +The majority of the people were complacently waiting for another tide of +revival; this was their custom, but it sat very uneasily upon me. I did +not like it, nor agree to it; but at that time I knew not what else to +do, but wait as others did. I said that we looked like vessels which had +come so far up the river with the tide; and now that it had turned we +were stranded and fast in the mud. Sometimes I changed the figure to +one not so ignoble, and likened ourselves to the stately vessels +anchored in Falmouth harbour, which were there because the wind was +contrary. We were wind-bound too, and dependent on circumstances; but my +idea of true religion was that we ought not to be like this. I rather +took for our type the great steamers which are propelled by powerful +engines, and come in and go out, and proceed on their voyage without +regard to wind or tide. We ought to be constrained I said, from within +by the love of God and thus be enabled to show the power of grace by +riding over all obstacles and triumphing in the midst of +discouragements. "He giveth songs in the night." Any bird can sing in +the sunshine. + +The self-restraint and self-control I had exercised in my churchy days, +and which I supposed was derived from sacraments, I found wanting in my +new work. We required something with authority, such as church and +priest supply. I could not, however, conscientiously go back to that +legal system, nor did I think there was any need, for I was sure there +was something somewhere, to be had, which should and would supply our +want, if I could but discover it. It appeared to me that my people, +without this, were subject to impulse, and consequently in bondage to +their feelings. + +In this time of lull I found that the steadfastness of some was shaken; +but I had known others, who had gone further back than these, return at +a revival time with new vigour. In this way, some of the Cornish people +professed to be converted scores of times. While ruminating on these +things and praying over them, I was surprised by receiving a letter +pressing me very much to come at once and preach in a parish in +Staffordshire, near Birmingham. Mr. Aitken had been on a mission in the +north, and on his return had stopped a night at this place, and preached +one of his alarming and awakening sermons. The effect was so great that +the people, together with their clergyman (a curate in sole charge) were +in much trouble and anxiety about their souls; there was a gloom hanging +over them, as if they had been sentenced to some dreadful doom, and did +not know what to do, or how to avert it. + +It is a good thing to wound, but it should be with the object of making +whole; it is a blessed thing to show sinners their lost condition, but +only for the purpose of getting them to lay hold of the great salvation +which is provided for such. + +In his perplexity the curate went to see the Bishop (Lonsdale) of +Lichfield. When his lordship had ascertained the cause of the trouble, +he took up a pamphlet which was lying on the table, and said, "If you +cannot get Mr. Aitken back, send for this gentleman, and pay his +expenses." "This gentleman," meant the author of the pamphlet, which his +lordship held in his hand, namely, myself; "his name and address are +here." said the Bishop; "take the book and read it carefully; he seems +to have both knowledge and experience in such matters." + +I was written to forthwith, and the letter urged me to "come at once." +In compliance, I started off that night, and reaching the place on +Saturday afternoon, opened a mission the same evening without further +notice. On Sunday I preached three times, and went to the school-room +for the after-meeting. There we had a scene which, for noise and +confusion was quite Cornish. Men and women cried aloud for mercy, while +some believers who were there shouted for joy. The curate in charge was +completely bewildered, but felt he could do nothing; and seeing, as he +remarked, that I appeared to understand it and know what I was about, he +thought he had better remain still, till the noisy meeting was over. +That same night, before he retired, he gave his heart to God. + +The work went on in this place with the force as of an explosion; just +as if hungry desires had been pent up a long time, and now they had vent +and opportunity to be satisfied. The church was crowded: every day, even +in the week; and we were kept in the schoolroom night after night till +twelve and one o'clock. + +The town was a dark, smoky, sulphury place, and the air filled with +exhalations and iron filings from the various works. It was a dreadful +atmosphere, and everything was black and dirty; the red fires from the +furnaces around glared all night long and presented an awful appearance. +To come from the pure air and beautiful scenery of Cornwall into such a +place as this, was most trying and uncomfortable; but the reward was +great. The work was deeply interesting, and scores of men and women of +all classes, besides five clergymen, professed to be converted that +week. + +The devil did not leave us alone; he was very angry, and raised up a +great opposition. The rector of the old church, who used to be most +benevolent and smiling, suddenly changed, and made it his business to +call on the curate in charge of the church, to tell him that he was +quite sure that his friend the vicar (who was away at the time in ill +health) would never have sanctioned this excitement. The curate said +that the Bishop had bid him invite Mr. Haslam, and that he had done so, +not knowing anything further about me or my work. The rector went off to +write to the Bishop forthwith, and in the meantime ordered bills to be +posted all over the town, warning people against "the Cornish fanaticism +at St. James's," which, of course, had the effect of drawing out a +greater concourse of people. + +What with excessive work and bad air, by Friday evening I was quite +exhausted. I came out of the pulpit to the vestry, and remembering that +Cornish miners, in order to recover themselves after climbing ladders, +often found it necessary to lie down flat on the ground, I thought I +would try the same plan for a few moments while the people were going +out to the schoolroom. I did so; and while I was in this position a +clergyman came in and asked me if I was ill. "No," I said, "I am only +resting for a short time." + +"Very well," he said, "rest on; but listen to me. The Bishop has sent me +here to see and hear you, and this is my report to his lordship." +Opening out a paper he held in his hand, he read: "St. James's crammed +to excess with a most orderly and devotional congregation; their +attention to the sermon marked and riveted; sermon from St. Luke xv, +verse 2, 'This Man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.' The +exposition of chapter most vivid and instructive; never heard better, or +so good; the application fervent and pointed; altogether, most edifying +service." + +"There, that is my report, so you need not be afraid of anything you +hear. I will tell the Bishop all about it. Thank you very much for what +I have heard. God bless you. Good-night!" + +"Oh," I said, springing up from the ground, "do not go yet! the best +part is to come. You have only seen me let down the nets; come now and +see them pulled up." "What is that?" he said, "Where am I to come?" "To +the schoolroom," I replied, divesting myself of my gown and bands, and +putting on my coat with all haste. "Come with me!" + +He seemed a little afraid, and asked many questions. When we reached the +place we could scarcely get in, and the noise certainly was tremendous. + +"What is all this confusion about?" he asked. "I think I had better not +go in to-night." + +"Oh, come in, come in!" I said; "do not fear." But somehow he slipped +off in the dark, and I did not see him again. When I entered, almost the +first thing I noticed was the two curates of the parish church, taking +notes. However, I did not heed them, or ask to see what they had +written; for I would always rather have real work, though with a noise, +than orderly, respectable stillness, and spiritual death. + +On Saturday I rested, but was very unwell all day, and did not know how +I should be able to work on Sunday. When the morning arrived, my +strength and voice were gone; it was impossible to preach. The people +met together and had a prayer meeting before the service, asking the +Lord to restore me. The curate was so much cheered, that he came to me +and said, "If you only get up and try, we feel sure you will be able to +preach." I got up, but had to go to bed again, for I was very ill. + +Just before eleven o'clock a visitor arrived, a very queer-looking +little man, in a black suit of Quaker cut, and a college cap without a +tassel, with the corners of the square board rounded off. Standing by my +bed-side in this costume, he said that he was a convert of Mr. Aitken's, +and had come all the way from Birmingham to hear me. "Moreover," he +said, "I am a herbal doctor. Please let me feel your pulse." + +He did so, and looking grave, sounded my lungs, put his ear to my chest +and then asked, "What is the matter with your left lung?" + +I replied, "I don't know. Three doctors told me, more than fourteen +years ago, that it was all gone." "Well," he said, "you stay quietly in +bed till I come again at half-past eleven." + +When he returned, he bade me get up and dress, and then gave me a cupful +of something very hot with cayenne, at the same time telling me that I +should be quite strong enough to preach by twelve o'clock. + +So I was. I preached that morning, and again in the afternoon; after +that I went to bed till six o'clock, when I took another dose, and in +the strength of it preached a long, loud sermon to a crowded +congregation; after which I attended the after-meeting, and was there +till twelve o'clock at night. I then set off to the station, accompanied +by at least two hundred people, and left by the one o'clock train for +Birmingham, to the house of my new friend the herbal doctor. He nursed +me like a mother, and let me go on my way home to Cornwall the next day. + +I never heard any more of the rector of the parish, or of the Bishop, +but was frequently cheered by letters saying that the work thus begun +was going on week after week in the same place. Some years after, when I +was passing, I stopped there for a few days, and gave them "a lift," as +they called it; and I then saw with half a glance that they had become +practised workers--that both clergymen and people were fitted to +missionize the whole country side. + +One's great object in this mission work is not only to save souls, but +to encourage believers to do their part; that so the effect of a mission +may be continued and extended. God has a twofold blessing for us. He +says "I will bless thee and make thee a blessing;" and it is well to +remember that the benefits we receive are not so much to be kept for +self, as to be imparted and transmitted to others, even as they were +transmitted to us. + + + +CHAPTER 24 + +Sanctification. + +Then I returned from the far-off mission in Staffordshire, whether from +over fatigue or other causes, I was much depressed in mind as well as +body, and quite out of heart with the Church of England. It is true I +found the converted people in Staffordshire were not so leavened with +Dissent as in Cornwall, and that there was some attachment to the +Church; but still I could see that Churchmen there, as elsewhere, +distrusted spirituality, and preferred to work on their own +ecclesiastical or sacramental lines; they chose to draw water to quench +their thirst, rather than to ask, and receive (directly from Christ) the +living water. + +If a bishop accidentally invited me, of if a clergyman cordially did so, +they were marked exceptions. I felt myself to be obnoxious to the +majority of my clerical brethren who professed to represent the Church; +but somehow, I was convinced that, as a converted clergyman, I +represented the Church of England more truly than they, and that the +principles of the Reformation were the principles I was working upon. +This was trial from outside, which, however trying to flesh and blood, +is by no means so bad as misgiving from within. + +I was discouraged also about the work in which I had been engaged; for +there was evidently an imperfection about it. I observed that some +people over whom I rejoiced as converted, went back to their former +worldliness, which perplexed and troubled me more than I can describe. I +knew from my own experience that conversion was necessary to salvation +and a new life; but when people professed to be saved, and did not live +a new life, I was sure there was something wrong. My dear friend, Mr. +Aitken, said, "My brother, this work is the Lord's; you must go to Him +and ask what is wrong. Lie on your face before Him till He shows you His +will about the matter!" + +This I did; for, shutting myself up in the church, I cried to the Lord +till I felt that an answer would come in due time. Soon after, I was led +to preach from the text, "Through this Man is preached unto you the +forgiveness of sins; and by Him all that believe are justified from all +things" (Acts 13:38, 39). This opened my eyes to see that the +proclamation was twofold-that through Christ Jesus, pardon was offered +to any and every sinner as such, and moreover, that by the same Christ +Jesus, every believer--that is, every one who had received the +forgiveness of his sins--was justified from all things. + +Those who know how old familiar texts flash upon the mind with new +meaning, will understand my surprise. God was speaking to me in answer +to my inquiry. I had been preaching forgiveness and salvation through +the blood-shedding and death of Christ; and confining myself to this, as +if salvation were all. I now saw that I had not preached about +Justification to believers, as fully as I had dwelt on the subject of +pardon to sinners; indeed, that I had preached to believers the same +Gospel which I preached to them before they were converted; that is, +that Christ died for their sins, but not the "yea rather, that is risen +again." No wonder they did not stand, if their standing-place before God +their Father was not simply and plainly put before them. Believers +having been brought from death unto life, from the cross to the +resurrection-side of Christ's grave, should be led to the Throne of +Grace, where Christ sits at the right hand of God, making intercession +for them. Once enlightened on the subject, it was easy to see that this +truth was set forth all through the Bible. + +For instance, when the prodigal son received pardon, immediately his +father called the servants and said unto them, "Bring forth the best +robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his +feet." Here, besides pardon, is standing--union--strength; and over and +beyond these, the feast of rejoicing. + +When the children of Israel were brought out of Egypt, it was not that +they should escape from bondage only, but that they should be led, and +even carried, by God through the wilderness. Moses illustrated this in a +simple yet comprehensive figure, when he wrote, "As an eagle stirreth up +her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh +them, beareth them on her wings: so the Lord alone did lead him, and +there was no strange god with him" (Deut. 32:11, 12). + +The thousands who perished in the wilderness were persons of whom it may +be said that they professed to come up out of Egypt, and did so in act; +but God, who looks upon the heart, saw that they were still lingering in +that place; for when they were in trouble, they said, "Would God that we +had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in the +wilderness! Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt" (Num. +14:2-4). + +This is one secret of the "going back" which I have noticed. People came +out as converted, whose hearts were still entangled in the things of +this world, or in some besetments with which they were fettered. Those +who are really converted should come out, as Caleb and Joshua did. They +left Egypt behind them altogether, and finally, in their trials and +troubles in the wilderness, they looked for deliverance, not in going +back, but in going forward, assured that if lions were before, there +were dragons behind. + +Another lesson which we may learn from these two, is, that they compared +difficulties and giants, not with themselves, but with the Lord. It was +true that they were not able to conquer their enemies or take their +cities, but, as they said, "the Lord is able to give us the victory." In +this I saw how Joshua trusted God, also how God wrought a great +deliverance. + +I urged the people to consider that we were not created and redeemed to +be saved, but saved to glorify God in our lives; but I grieve to say, +this teaching did not meet with the acceptance I hoped for. I wondered +at their slowness of heart to believe in the "risen" Christ, and was +sure that this was reason enough for their instability; and I felt that +there would be nothing else while they continued to receive only a part +of the Gospel instead of the whole. + +One thing leads to another. While I was thus making discoveries, my +attention was drawn to a hymn which spoke of "Jordan's stream," and +"death's cold flood," as if they were the same thing. Now, I had always +regarded Jordan as death; but the question in my mind was--What is all +that fighting and conquering in the land of Canaan, if Canaan represents +heaven? I observed, moreover, that the Israelites were on the defensive +in the wilderness, and on the aggressive on the other side of Jordan; +that they were led by the cloud on the one, and by a living Person on +the other; that they were daily sustained with manna, as children, on +the one side, and ate the old corn of the land, as men of Israel, on the +other, besides sowing and reaping for themselves. These striking' marks +of contrast excited much inquiry, and not obtaining, with sufficient +definiteness, the satisfaction I sought, I went to the Lord about this, +as before. I confessed my shortcomings, and the defectiveness of my +teaching, and pleaded earnestly, "Lord, what wouldst Thou have me to do? +What I know not, teach Thou me!" + +Then I was brought into the deepest distress and perplexity of soul, to +think that after my experience of conversion, and all I had done for the +conversion of others, I was still such a vile, self-condemned sinner. I +even began to think that I had never been converted; it appeared to me +that my whole life was nothing but intense selfishness; that I availed +myself of the blood of Christ for my salvation and happiness, and led +others to do the same, rejoicing with them in thus making use of God for +the purpose of getting quit of hell and gaining heaven. It was a clear +case of making God serve me, instead of my serving Him. Many other +things came to my mind, by which I knew there was an immense gap between +my experience and the Word of God. I can see it all now; but at the time +it was very dark and grievous. + +When I had been under conviction before, at the time of my conversion, +it was, as it were, with my eyes shut; but now they were open: then I +saw my sins, and the penalty which was due to them; now I saw my +unrighteousness, and the corruption of my nature. I felt as if I were +two persons, and that there was a law in my members warring against the +law of my mind, the flesh contending against the Spirit. "O wretched man +that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" For a +whole week I was in great distress of mind, especially during the last +three days. + +On Sunday morning, as I was going to the early Communion, my soul was +set at liberty. I felt as if a great cloud was lifted up; the light +shone into my soul; and I had deliverance. I was exceedingly happy in +the knowledge that the risen Christ Himself was my help---that He who +had hidden His presence in a pillar of cloud and fire, now was Himself +present in person, my omnipotent Friend and leader! + +This was quite a new experience, and one I had not known before. I +thought that I had not even heard or read of it, and therefore began to +suspect whether it was a temptation. I determined to be wise, and not +commit myself too soon, so made up my mind that I would not refer to it +in the pulpit. But at the close of the service a stranger came into the +vestry to thank me for my sermon; and when we were alone he put the +question to me, "How long have you known Sanctification?" + +I replied, "Do I know it now?" + +"Yes," he said, "you preached it experimentally this morning; and I +shall be very much surprised if you have not some inquiries on the +subject before the day is out." + +I felt reproved before this stranger's steady gaze, and confessed that I +had received the blessing that very morning; but thinking that it might +be a temptation, I had determined to say nothing about it. + +He said, "That was a temptation from the devil, sure enough, to hinder +you; for the Lord spoke on this subject through your sermon as dearly as +ever I have heard. Do not be afraid, but go on and tell others." + +So in the evening I preached on Sanctification, and we had an +after-meeting in the schoolroom. Many believers stayed behind to ask +questions upon the subject of my sermon. I do not remember how I replied +to them; but imperfect as my statements must have been, it nevertheless +led others to desire to enter into the experience of this same blessing. + +The following morning, I happened to take up a tract by John Fletcher, +of Madeley, in which I read, that at a breakfast party on the occasion +of a wedding, to which he was invited, just in the middle of idle and +frivolous conversation which was going on, he was constrained to rise up +and say, "I have three times had an experience of joy and liberty, which +I believe to be Sanctification, and it has passed away; now that it has +returned again, I take this opportunity to testify." The company were +all struck with amazement; the power of God was present; and the festive +gathering was turned into a meeting for prayer and praise. I took +warning from this tract never to withhold my testimony on this subject. + +Soon after this, I was holding an afternoon Bible class in another part +of the parish; we were going through St. Luke's gospel, and had come to +the fifth chapter; I said with reference to the miraculous draught of +fishes, that the fish had been swimming about in their native element in +all quietness and freedom, till they came in contact with a net, and it +came in contact with thorn. Observe, I said, three things: 1. They are +caught in the net. 2. They are drawn out of their native element. 3. +They are laid in the boat at the feet of Christ. So it is, where people +are caught in' the Gospel net--this is conviction; they are drawn out of +the state in which they were--this is conversion; but they are not yet +in the state in which they should be, this is why it is so hard to hold +them: they ought to be drawn to Christ Himself, for this is the ultimate +object of catching souls; the one thing needful is to be brought to the +feet of Christ. + +I intentionally abstained from using the word "Sanctification," though I +was endeavouring to typify the experience of it, and to contrast it with +conversion. As I went on speaking, a woman in the small assemble put up +her hands and began to shout and praise God, "That is Sanctification!" +she cried; "I have it! I know it! Praise the Lord!" There was a great +stir the class; some cried, and some asked questions. One woman, who was +more advanced in general knowledge and experience than most of the +others declared, that she did not believe in Sanctification, for she had +known so many who professed to have it, and had lost it. "Lost what?" I +said, "you cannot lose an experience; the joy of it may depart, and +certainly does where people rest on their feelings instead of the fact, +on the effect, instead of the cause." She confused the sanctification of +the believer, with the effect it produced on him. The Spirit which works +sanctification in our souls can keep us in it, if we continue to look to +Him, instead of looking at His work, I said to her, what I have said +ever since to all who are inclined to argue on the subject: Believers +too often dispute about Sanctification, in the same manner as the +unconverted do on the subject of Justification. It is not worth while +for those who know, to contend with those who only think. I told her to +go home and pray about it and ask the Lord if He had anything more to +give, to let her have it. + +She was sullen, and hard to persuade; but after a little more +conversation and prayer, she consented to lay aside her prejudice and do +as I had told her. She did so, and came again the next morning to see +me. Fortunately, I was not in my house, but shut up, as my custom was in +the church for meditation and prayer. She followed me thither, but being +engaged with my Master, I answered no knocks or taps, whether at the +doors or windows; even on this occasion I did not respond, although I +heard some one walking round and round the church and knocking +impatiently for admittance. When I came out, I heard that Hannah--had +called and wished very much to see me; for she wanted (to use her own +expression) "to hug the dear head of him, if she could catch him." She +was happy beyond expression, for she had had a dream; and what is more +she said that she had entered into the "second blessing." + +In her dream she saw a well of water as clear as crystal; it was +beautiful, and the clean pebbles at the bottom quite glistened with +brightness, so that she could count them. "There, there," she said, +"What does any one want clearer and cleaner than that?" As she looked +into this clear well, my voice said to her, "Throw a pebble into it," +when she did so; in an instant the water became thick and dirty. "Ah," +said my voice again, "The water of grace is always clear as crystal, but +the well in which it is--that is your heart is most unclean. The Lord +can give you a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within you" (Ps. +51:10). She woke up from her sleep, and immediately began to pray, +asking the Lord for a clean heart, until she obtained it. + +Some may say, "But what did she obtain?" This question is seldom if ever +asked by persons who know the experience of this blessing; but to those +who do not, it is very difficult to convey an idea of what it is by +definitions. Let it be enough to understand that there is something +desirable to be had, which may be obtained by doing as the woman did. +"As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man" (Prov. +27:19). Those who know it, understand one another and rejoice together. +There is no such mutual sympathy and joy as that which brethren have who +are partakers of this higher blessing. + +After this, Hannah became a restful, peaceful soul; and many others, +with her, found that quiet confidence which can only belong to those who +can and do trust a risen and living Christ. + +It was quite a new era in the work, and called out fresh energies; but +like every new thing, it absorbed too much attention, to the exclusion +of the simple Gospel for the unsaved. "Christ died for our sins," is +only part of the Gospel, though a very important part. "Christ rose +again the third day according to the Scriptures" (1 Cor. 15:3, 4), is +also a part, which should not be omitted in its due time and place. +These two important truths, I am sure, are needful for scriptural work, +and they should both be systematically preached. + + +CHAPTER 25 + +The Removal, 1855. + +When I was on the eve of leaving Perranzabuloe, and before I knew that I +was to go, I felt there was a gulf between the people and myself. +Whatever else they held they were quite ignorant of ecclesiastical +antiquities, Church history, and Catholic truth; what is more, they were +unwilling to learn about such matters. + +Now I began to feel that another gulf was opening between my present +people and myself. It was not as before, about ecclesiastical things; +but on another score altogether. I wanted them to believe in a living +Saviour: they were trying to content themselves with salvation instead. +I wanted them to trust the Giver: they preferred to rejoice in the gift. +I longed to lead them on to trust Christ as the object of faith, and +from this to go on to devote themselves to His service, for very love of +Him--to be loosed from the present world, by the hope of the Lord's +coming. I could not get the people to receive this teaching, though it +was God's truth, and could be verified by the Word. + +I confess that this threefold truth was not so satisfying to my own soul +as I expected it would be. I remembered that I had not learned it from +men or books, but experimentally, by God's teaching, in answer to +prayer. I could not imagine what was wanting, and did not discover, for +several years after, that the mere knowledge of a truth by itself, even +though it is about Christ, cannot deliver. It is not the truth of Christ +that delivers, but the Christ of the truth. In itself, it is but an +instrument in the hand of the Spirit; and our expectation should be not +from it, but from the Divine Person, whose it is. + +I have found that the power is Christ Himself; that where He is really +the object of faith, He keeps the believer in peace; and that if there +is no peace, it is only because there is a deficiency of trust: that He, +as the object of love, constrains us to work for His Father's glory; and +that He, as the object of hope, can and does separate us from the world +and its entanglements, by drawing our affections to things above and +beyond the present. Not having discovered this simple yet important +truth, I was restless; and from God's Word came down to read the words' +and thoughts of men. I fell in with the "Life of Madame Guyon." Here I +found much sympathy, but somehow not that peace I was looking for. Then +I read the writings of the Port Royal school, the Jansenists, Butler's +"Lives of the Saints," and other such books. These diverted my mind, +employed and interested it; but I cannot say they satisfied me. I was +craving for something which I had not found yet, and had to wait three +years or more before I did so. + +About this time I was invited to go to a parish in Plymouth, to a church +where sacramental teaching was the rule. The incumbent was evidently as +much dissatisfied with the state of his congregation as I was with mine. +He wanted something new, and I thought I did likewise. Accordingly I +went and preached in his pulpit, and the word spoken produced a marked +sensation. My sermon brought to the vicar's mind many truths he had +heard and loved in early days, and for this reason he urged me to stay +and preach again. Then, to my surprise. He invited me to leave Cornwall +and come to Plymouth. in order to take a district in his parish, that I +might help him occasionally in his church. This was altogether such an +unsought-for thing, and so unexpected, that I took time to consider. The +next day I told him that I could not entertain his proposition, and that +for three reasons:-- + + + 1. I said, "I am sure that the Bishop would not consent." + 2. "I have a debt laid on me by my patron for nearly 3,000 l., + which I spent in building the church for him." + 3. "I am responsible for a debt of 300 l. as security." + +He still urged it, and said he would go and see the Bishop, and speak +with him on the subject. In his zeal he set off that very morning. The +Bishop at first said flatly, "No;" and then, upon further inquiry, +recalled the word, and said, "You may try it if you will." He returned +in the evening with this information, which surprised me greatly. But +what made me wonder still more, was the receipt of two letters the next +morning by the same post--one from London and the other from Paris, +releasing me from the responsibility of the two debts; and this without +any request on my part. The three difficulties, which were like +mountains before me only three days before, were now removed. I did not +know what to say, and therefore determined, in all haste, to go home and +consider the step. + +When I had related these astonishing circumstances to my dear wife, we +agreed to go together to consult with Mr. Aitken. On arriving I said to +him, "You must please to sit still and hear all before you speak." Then +I told him of the invitation to go to Plymouth, the result of the +preaching, the unexpected proposal to remove thither, the Bishop's +answer, and the remission of the 3,300 l. + +"Now," I continued, "what do you say?" + +"You must go, my brother," he replied; "for you will never make +Catholics of the Cornish people: the Methodist mind is far too deeply +rooted in them." + +Our friend's decision was firm; and so there remained nothing for us to +do but to follow it. The novelty of the proposition, and the surprising +circumstances connected with it were exciting, and took away our +thoughts for the time from the place which was to be left. When the +decision was given and accepted, then Baldhu seemed to lift up its +voice, and urge its claims. Certainly it was a strong tie which bound us +to this place; but nevertheless, on our return home, I wrote to the +Bishop, and' proposed to resign my present incumbency, in order that I +might take a district in Plymouth. He replied in due course, that he +would accept my resignation. After I was thus pledged, my wife's mind +veered from her consent to go; and Mr. Aitken changed his tone also, and +said that the text had come to him, "Cast thyself down," and that I was +tempting God. Yet all the steps I had taken had been in prayer, and had +been taken very reluctantly, for I was much attached to Baldhu. + +For nearly three months I was torn with distractions; sometimes hope +lifted up the mist from the horizon, and then let it down again. I did +not know what to do; the work at home had come to a stand; but there was +one thing, my successor was not yet appointed, nor had I signed my +resignation; therefore every now and then the thought came over me, that +I would stay. Then a letter came from Plymouth, urging me to come away +at once, "for the iron was hot for striking." Sometimes people came in +and said, "You had better go;" then others would come in and say, "You +will do no good if you do go." It was desolating, as well as distracting +beyond description. + +I had a family of six children and three servants; it was a great +expense to move there; and yet, if God was calling, it was quite as easy +for Him to move eleven people as one; and I had ten claims upon Him. At +last, suspense was over; my successor was appointed, and the day fixed +for our going. I signed my resignation, having to pay four pounds ten +shillings for it; then, suspense was changed into unmitigated sorrow. + +I had designed and built that church and house, and had seen them rise; +had made the garden, and had had many happy and wonderful days in this +place. I found it had taken a deep root in my heart, and therefore it +was like tearing one up altogether to go away. But it was done now, and +the friends who had advised me not to resign, seemed to have their +triumph; and those who advised to go, were discouraged and grieved at my +sorrowful state. My dear wife cheered up when she saw me down, and rose +to the occasion; she began to pack up as if delighted at going, and went +about everything most cheerfully. + +I told the people that I could not bear a leave-taking, but there would +be a service in the church, and Holy Communion, at seven o'clock on the +morning we were to leave. Many came, but the majority could not sum up +the courage to do so. I put my resignation on the offertory plate, and +gave it to God with many tears. A kind neighbour came to officiate for +me, so that I did not take any part in the service, being exceedingly +dejected and overwhelmed with sorrow. It was chiefly for fear, lest I +was doing that which God would not have me do, and taking my family out +from a comfortable home, I knew not whither, or to what discomforts. + +One thing I certainly saw plainly enough, that my affections were too +deeply rooted in earthly things. I had no idea till then, that that +place of my own creation had taken such a hold upon me. It was well to +be loose from that, and free for my Master's service. + +After breakfast we left the old place; many people stood weeping by the +roadsides; some ventured to speak, and others only thrust their hands +into the carriage windows for a hearty grasp, without saying a word. It +was indeed a sorrowful day, the remembrance of which even now makes my +heart sink, though it is more than twenty-five years since. + +In the evening we arrived at the house of some friends, who had kindly +invited us to break our journey, and remain the night with them; and in +the morning we proceeded on our way to Plymouth. When we reached the +house, we found our furniture unpacked, and distributed in the various +rooms, and the table spread ready for us to take some refreshment. The +word "Welcome" was done in flowers over the door, besides many other +demonstrations of kindness; but I am afraid we were all too sorrowful at +the time to show our appreciation of, or to enjoy them. + +We never settled in that house, and did not care to unpack anything more +than necessary, or hang up the pictures or texts. + +My work did not prosper here, for I found I was unequally yoked with +strangers, and accordingly felt dry and wretched. I sent my resignation +of Baldhu to Bishop Phillpotts, and with it my nomination and other +necessary papers, saying that I would wait on his lordship for +institution on a certain day. + +At the appointed time I went to him, when to my great surprise, he very +calmly said he could not appoint me to that district. I could not +understand this, for as I had told him, I had only resigned +conditionally, and reminded him that I had asked his permission to +resign, for the purpose of taking this district. + +"How can I consciously appoint or license you to anything in my +diocese?" he said, looking me full in the face, and then in his +courteous way he laid his commands on me to stay to luncheon, saying he +would be obliged "if I would do him this honour;" he bade me walk in the +garden, as he was busy, and would be occupied till luncheon. + +I felt that I needed a little quiet and fresh air to get over this +climax of my troubles--out of one living, and not into another; and that +with a wife, six children, and three servants, with very little to live +on. Here was a state of things! I had plenty to occupy my thoughts and +prayers. I feared and mourned, above everything, lest God should be +angry with me. "Oh, if I could only know this is the will of God, then I +should not care a fig for all the bishops on the bench, and would not +ask one of them for anything!" + +I was soon roused from my reverie, by the presence of Miss C. P., the +Bishop's daughter, who had come out at her father's request to show me +the garden and the view. I had known this lady slightly for several +years, and so she was not altogether a stranger to me, or I to her. She +talked so cheerfully and pleasantly, that it came to my mind, "Perhaps +after all, the Bishop is only trying me. He will not appoint me to this +bare district, because he has something better with which he means to +surprise me." This sanguine thought cheered me up greatly. At luncheon +he was as kind and happy as if he had neither done anything +dishonourable, or had any intention of doing so; so that I felt quite +sure something good was coming. I began to wonder at intervals, "What +part of the diocese I was to be sent to?--Where is there a vacancy?" and +so on. + +The Bishop was as friendly to me as he used to be in other days. After +the repast, he summoned me to his study again. "Now," I thought, "I +shall hear where I am to go;" but instead of this, he said that he was +"much engaged, and must take leave of me." + +I was more than astonished at this, and said, "I can scarcely believe +that you refuse to appoint me!" + +"I do then, most positively." + +"But I have a copy of my letter to your lordship, and your answer." + +"Then you may urge your claim by law, if you please." + +"No, indeed, my lord, I do not think I will do that." And then, after a +short pause, I said, "You have done for me what I could not dare do for +myself, though I have often been tempted to do it." + +"And pray, what is that?" he inquired. + +"To give up parochial ministration, that I may be free to preach +wherever I am led." + +"Could you do that?" + +"I could not do it conscientiously myself; but now that you have +stripped me of harness, I will put on no more." + +The Bishop made his bow, and I made mine; and that was the end of our +interview. In my unconverted days I used to be an ardent and +enthusiastic admirer of this man; his charges, his speeches, and +especially his withering, sarcastic letters to Lord John Russell and +others, who came under his tremendous lash, to my mind made him a great +hero. His straight forward manner also commanded my respect, for, +generally speaking, I had found bishops very smooth and two-sided, or +rather both-sided; but in his ease there was no mistake. + +It used to be a proud time for me when this Bishop came into Cornwall, +and I was permitted to accompany him, and to act as his chaplain at the +consecration of a church or burial ground, or to attend him when he went +to a Confirmation. Sometimes I had the happy privilege of rowing him in +a boat on the sea. He seemed to take such an affectionate and +intelligent interest in my parish and my church work. He asked various +questions about my neighbours, just as if he lived among them and knew +all their circumstances. He struck me as a wonderful man, and I was his +champion upon all occasions in my unconverted days. Notwithstanding +this, he was too honest to his own views to favour me after my +conversion. + +On my return home without a license, I had but a poor account to give, +and the future prospect looked very gloomy. + + +CHAPTER 26 + +Plymouth, 1855. + +I occasionally preached in the parish church, and went to the daily +Communion and the daily service. My spare time I occupied (it was like +going back to brick-making in Egypt) in painting the church. I laboured +for hours and hours to try and make this great chalk-pit of a place look +somewhat ecclesiastical. All round the church I painted a diaper +pattern, surmounted with a border, which went over the doors and under +the windows. Then on the bare wall at the end I painted a life-sized +figure of our Lord, as a Shepherd leading His sheep, taken from +Overbeck's picture. This, together with a few other pictures of Christ, +warmed up the building very well. Then for the chancel I had a most +elaborate design. + +First, there was a beautiful gilded pattern over the very lofty chancel +arch, which I managed to reach by means of a ladder. Professional people +need scaffolding and platforms, which I dispensed with, and accomplished +the whole space in less time than it would take to put up all their +needful erections. Inside the chancel I had twelve niches, with +tabernacle work above them, for the twelve apostles; and these were all +duly represented after a true mediaeval pattern. + +The local newspaper made great fun of these paintings; and the reporter +would have it, that "these lively saints looked very conscious of being +put up there, and that they were constantly 'craning' their necks to +look at one another--as if they would inquire, 'I say, how do you like +being there?'" My favourite figure, St. John, upon which I bestowed +extra pains, the provoking man would have it, was St. Mary Magdalene, +leering at the apostle next to her, or at the one opposite--it did not +seem quite clear to him which; but her head was down on one side in a +bewitching attitude. + +In the middle of the great undertaking I was called away for a few +weeks. During this time the reporter came again and again, but saw no +progress; he therefore put an advertisement into his paper to this +effect:-- + +"Stolen or strayed, a monkish priest, who paints apostles. He is not to +be found. Any person or persons who can give information concerning this +absent personage, will greatly oblige." + +My preaching was not acceptable in this church, neither was my +connection with it; and my apostles were no better appreciated, for they +were soon after whitewashed over, and disappeared like a dream. +Sometimes, in damp weather, they were still to be seen "craning" their +necks as heretofore (much to the amusement of the chorister boys) though +with a kind of veil upon them. Doubtless, in a future generation, when +the plaster begins to blister, some antiquarian will discover this +"wonderful mediaeval fresco," and call the attention of the public to +it. + +My ideas and dreams about catholic advancement were thus brought to a +calamitous end. This church to which I had come was one in high credit +for much private and public devotion; but, alas! I found what I might +easily have expected, that without spiritual vitality everything must be +dry and dead! Dry and dead indeed it was. The conversation of these +supposed ascetics was for the most part secular, and at the highest only +ecclesiastical. Their worship, on which a great amount of pains and cost +was bestowed, was but a form carefully prepared and carefully executed, +as if critics were present; yet it did not, and could not, rise to +spirituality. A lady presided at the organ, and had the teaching and +training of the choir. Much of her own personal and religious character +were imparted to the performances, which in tone and manner were +admirable and precise. She made the boys understand the sense of the +words they sang, till I have seen them even in tears during the singing. +The "chaste old verger" (as our reporter called him), who headed the +procession at least four times a day, up and down the church, was a very +important and successful part of the machinery, and from him, up to the +highest official, everything was carried out with exact precision. + +But oh, how unsatisfying and disappointing it was!--to a degree which I +was ashamed to own! How could I be so foolish, to give up a living, +where there was vitality, though it was rough, for a superficial and +artificial semblance of religion? In the book of Ecclesiastes we read, +that "a living dog is better than a dead lion;" and though I had often +quoted this saying, I never felt the truth of it so deeply as now. The +dead lion and the dead elephant are quite immovable things for a live +dog to bark at or fret about. It was a hard and trying time to me in +that place. I could not see my way, or understand at all what was the +Lord's will towards me. While in this state of mind I had a vivid dream. +I thought that the ornamental iron grating, which was for ventilating +the space under the floor of the church, was all glowing with fire, as +if a great furnace were raging there. I tried to cry "Fire!" but could +not. Then I ran into the church, and saw it full of people reverently +absorbed in their devotions. I tried again to give the alarm, and cry +"Fire! fire!" but I could not utter a sound. When I looked up, I saw +thin, long, waving strings of fire coming up among the people through +the joints of the floor. I called attention to this, but no one else +could see it. Then I became frantic in my gesticulation, and at last was +able to tell some of the congregation of the great fire which was under +them; but they looked at one another, smiling, and told me to go about +my business--that I was mad! I woke out of my troubled sleep in a very +agitated and perturbed state. Since that, whenever I have seen or heard +of churches, where Church and Sacraments are preached, instead of +Christ, as the one way of salvation, I long to warn the people of the +fire raging underneath, and to show them the way of the Lord more +perfectly. + +One day, when I was feeling more desponding and wretched than before, a +lady called, and said she wanted to speak to me--would I come to her +house for this purpose? I went, and she was not long before she opened +the conversation by charging me with being uncharitable. "You say we are +all unconverted." + +I replied, "Of course, as children of Adam we are, till conversion takes +place; there can be no mistake about that! But when did I say that you +were unconverted? Is it not your own conscience that tells you that? +When we preach to people as unconverted, those who are changed, and +brought from death into life, know as well as possible that we do not +mean them; and they pray for a blessing on the Word, that it may reach +others, as it once reached them. They do not sit there and resent the +charge, for they know what has passed between God and their souls, and +are anxious for others to share the same blessing." She was silent; so I +continued, "May I ask you the question. Are you converted? Can you tell +me that you are?" + +She replied, "I do not know what you mean." + +"Well, then, why do you suppose that I mean something uncharitable or +bad?" + +"Because I know very well it is not a good thing to be unconverted. +But," she added, "it seems such an unkind thing to put us all down for +'lost,' while you suppose yourself to be saved." + +"You may know more about this some day, perhaps; but in the meantime +will you allow me to ask you one thing: Do you believe in the Lord Jesus +Christ?" + +She replied indignantly, "Of course I do. Now, this is the very want of +charity I complain of-the idea of asking me such a question!" + +She was one of the Rev. --'s, (the confessor's) favourite devotees, and +had been absolved by him for several years; the very idea of asking her +if she believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, made her quite impatient, as +well as indignant.' + +I said, "Do not be angry with me, but what do you believe about Him?" + +"Believe everything, of course! I believe the creed." + +"Yes, I do not doubt that, for a moment. But do you believe that Jesus +died for you?" + +"Why, yes, certainly: how could I do otherwise; He died for us all." + +"That is not the point. I mean, do you believe that He died; and that +you have a personal interest in His death?" + +She hesitated, and then looking at me said, "Do you mean objectively, or +subjectively?" + +"May I ask what I am to understand by these words?" + +"Dr. -- taught me that, 'Christ died.' is objective, and that 'Christ +died for me.' is subjective." + +"Very good indeed," I answered, "I like that very much; it is quite +true. But it is one thing to know about subjective faith, and quite +another thing to have it. Now I will come back to my question. Do you +believe that Christ died for you?" + +"You evidently mean something that I do not understand," she said, in a +perplexed manner. Then looking at the crucifix on her table, I said, +"What does that remind you of?" + +"Oh, I pray before that every day, and ask the Lord to take my sins +away." + +"Then you do not think your sins are forgiven yet. How can you ask for +forgiveness, and have it at the same time?" + +"Do you mean to say then," she replied, with surprise, "that you have no +sins?" + +"Yes, I mean to say that my sins were atoned for, once for all, on the +cross; and that, believing this, I have peace and remission of sins. My +past sins are cast like a stone into the deep; and as to my daily sins +of omission and commission, I do not take them to the cross like a +Romanist, but to the throne of grace, where the risen and living Christ +is now making intercession for me." + +She was silent; and so was I, inwardly praying for her. Presently she +looked up and said, "I do thank Him for dying for me. Is that what you +want me to say?" + +"Thanksgiving is an indication of living faith. How can I believe that +Jesus died for me, and not thank Him?" + +"But I do thank Him, and it is very uncharitable of you to say, we do +not thank Him; we all thank Him!" + +She was gone again, and I wondered whether I should ever bring her back! + +"You remind me," I said, "of three ladies of good position, whom I met +last year. They all professed to thank God for Christ's death; but yet +they had no peace, and were not satisfied. Seeing they were in real +earnest, I proposed to go over the General Thanksgiving in the +Prayer-book with them. They did so, and thanked God for creation, +preservation, and all the blessings of this life, but above all--then as +I emphasized this 'above all,' they said, almost together, 'That is where +we are wrong. We have not 'put the redeeming love of God as shown in +Christ's death, above all.' These three ladies found peace and pardon +that same evening." + +"That has been my mistake too," said the lady, interrupting me. "I have +never put Jesus above all; but I do desire to do so, and that with all +my heart." + +"Then do so," I said, "and thank Him for His love in dying in your +stead, and shedding His blood to wash your sins away." + +"He shall have all my heart!" she exclaimed. + +So saying, she knelt before the crucifix, and bowing gracefully and most +reverently, she reproached herself for not putting Jesus first, and +said, "Thou art worthy! Glory be to Thee, for Thy great love to me." +Then she rose from her knees, and once more tuning to me, said, "Thank +you so much! God bless you for your kindness and patience with me! I +cannot tell you how much I thank you. Do you remember once preaching +about Abraham offering up his son Isaac? You said, 'God the Father has +done more than this for us; and yet how few cry to Him and say, "By this +I know that Thou lovest me!"' I thought, and felt then, that you knew +something which I should like to know; and I have been longing to speak +to you ever since. Oh, I do thank you so much!" + +"Dear friend, I cannot refuse your thanks, but I should like to see you +thanking God more than you thank me." + +I knew that she could sing and play, so, pointing to the piano, I asked +her if she would sing a hymn. "Yes," she said, "I will. What shall I +sing?" + +"Find 'When I survey the wondrous cross,'" I said. + +She did not need to find the music, for she knew it without; so, sitting +down, she began to sing, till the tears came into her eyes, and her +voice broke down. "I never knew the meaning of these words before," she +said; "'Sorrow and love flow mingled down.' How could I be so blind and +ignorant? 'Love so amazing, so divine,' does 'demand my life, my soul, +my all!' O Lord, take it!" + +After this, I had a few parting words with her, and pointing to the +crucifix I said, "Remember Christ is not on the cross now. He died; that +is past. He is risen, and has ascended up on high. The throne of grace +is not the crucifix or the confessional, but where Christ sits--at the +right hand of God; and we, as believers, may in heart and mind thither +ascend, and with Him continually dwell. Have done, then, with this dead +Popery; you know better now. Testify for the glory of God." + +This lady's conversion vexed her husband greatly, and brought down the +frowns and disapprobation of the reverend doctor; altogether, it did a +deal of mischief in the camp. The "Sisters of Mercy" with whom she was +connected were kept aloof from her contaminating influence, and soon +afterwards were altogether removed from the place. There was one, +however, a particularly hard-headed looking individual, who used to +stare at me through her round spectacles whenever I met her, as if I +were an ogre. I heard that she was a great mathematician. She looked +like it; and evidently there was no fear entertained of her being +converted. She and one other were left behind; but otherwise the house, +which had been built at great cost, was empty. The lady was not allowed +to speak to me any more; but I hope she continued to go to the true +throne of grace, and not to the crucifix to a living, not a dead Christ. + +All this, doubtless, was intended to sicken me of my reverence for the +Catholic theory. I was evidently under an infatuation on the subject, +which, for the time, nothing could dispel. I had some poetic or +imaginary fancy of spiritual catholicity before my mind, which I +supposed was something better than the fleshy spirituality of Methodism, +to which I had taken a great dislike; but where to find this Utopia, or +how to embody it, I knew not. These specimens of catholic people I +certainly had no sympathy with; nor had I any patience with their hollow +devotion and their studied imitation of Popery. I plainly saw that light +could have no fellowship with darkness, or life with death. I was more +and more convinced that when a man has more sympathy with dead Catholics +than with living Dissenters, he is not a living soul at all. There is no +necessity to go to one extreme or the other. I believe the reformed +Church of England (in her principles, at least) occupies the middle path +between these two extremes, with the excellences of both, and the faults +of neither. I think I was permitted to be thus unsettled in my mind, +because I did not keep to my work with a single eye to God's glory. + + +CHAPTER 27 + +Devonport, 1855. + +I was at this time invited to preach in a church in Devonport, where it +pleased the Lord to give blessing to His word. With this exception, my +work was, generally speaking confined to individual cases. I will give +an account of a few which present the most instruction and interest. + +The first I will mention is that of one of the curates of the church in +which I was asked to preach. At this time he was preparing for +confession, and his self-examination had brought him to see and feel +that he was a sinner. Under this course of preparation, the preaching of +the Gospel had much effect upon him, and he came to tell me of his +state. I was able to show him from the Word of God that he was in a +worse condition than he supposed--that actually, by nature, we are lost +sinners now. Under the operation of the Holy Spirit he was brought to +feel this also, and was very miserable. + +One day, while officiating at a funeral, the Lord spoke peace to his +soul; so great was his joy, that, he said, he could scarcely refrain +from shouting aloud in the middle of the service. After it was over he +went about everywhere, telling of his conversion, and the Lord's +dealings with his soul. + +The result of this was that his fellow-curate (who was also preparing +for confession) was awakened, and came to me in great distress of mind, +declaring he "could not say he was converted," and that he was very +unhappy. He acknowledged that he should not like to die as he was, and +therefore knew he ought not to be satisfied to live in that state. +However, when I got to close dealing with him about his soul, he said +that though he could not say he was saved, he certainly thought that he +was being saved by continual absolution and the sacrament. Upon this, I +was enabled to show him that he did not go to the means of grace, or +even to the Lord's table, because he was saved, but in order to be +saved; and that he was working for life, and not from life. He gave up +disputing, and was not long before he too found peace in believing. + +The time was approaching for these two curates to go, as usual, to +confession. They came together to ask me about it. I counselled them to +go, by all means, to the reverend doctor, who usually received their +confession, and to tell him in their own words how the Lord had +convicted and converted them. I said that Bilney, one of the first +martyrs of the Reformation, when he was converted, went immediately to +make confession to Latimer, and by doing so he became the means of his +conversion. "Go, by all means; you do not know what use the Lord may +make of your testimony." + +They went accordingly, but did not meet with the happy success of +Bilney, for they were sent indignantly away one after the other for +saying their sins were pardoned and their souls save, and that by direct +and personal faith in Christ, without the intervention of a priest. The +reverend confessor, unlike the honest Latimer, said these young men had +come to mock him. + +Notwithstanding these instances of usefulness and encouragement, I +continued to be very unhappy, for want of more general work, and felt as +if God had cast me off. I can now see that this testing and perplexing +dispensation through which I was passing, was not altogether such a +barren desert as I felt it to be at the time. It was fraught with many +lessons, which have stood by me ever since, though I must confess I +never revert to this period without many unhappy memories. + +I will record one more lesson which I was taught in this place, and then +go on to other subjects. + +One warm spring day, while I was sitting in my house with the doors and +windows open, a gentleman came running into it in great haste, somewhat +to my surprise, he being a perfect stranger to me, and I to him. +Standing in the passage, and looking into the room where I was seated, +he said, "Sir, are you a clergyman?" + +I replied, "Yes, I am." + +"For God's sake, come; follow me!" + +So saying, he went away. I immediately took up my hat, and ran after him +down the side of the square, and noticing the gate where he turned in, I +walked leisurely to the same place, and found him in the passage of his +house panting for breath. He had run so fast that he could not speak, +but made a sign to me to go upstairs; then pointing to a door, he bade +me go in. On doing so, I saw at once it was a sick-chamber, and found +myself alone in the presence of a lady, who was sitting up in the bed. I +bowed to her, and said, "Can I help you?" + +She said, "Oh, no! it is too late!" + +"Too late for what?" + +"I am dying; I am lost! I am lost! It is too late--too late!" + +"But Christ came, and is present, to-save the lost." + +"Oh, yes! I know all that. I taught it to others, but I never believed +it myself. And now it is too late: I am lost!" + +"Then believe it now! Why not 'now'?" + +"Because it is too late!" + +"While there is life there is hope! Lose no more time. 'God so loved the +world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on +Him should not perish'" (John 3:16). + +"That is not for me. I know that text very well, but it will not do for +me. I am lost! I am lost! It is too late!" + +While I was speaking I saw her falling over the side of the bed. +Springing forward, I put out my arm, and, with her head resting on it, +and her despairing eyes looking into my face, she expired. I could +scarcely believe it, when I saw that flush on her face fade away unto +the pallor of death. She was gone! I placed her poor head on the pillow, +and rang the bell for assistance. Her mother and sister came in, saying, +"Is it not dreadful?" + +I said, "Look at her. She is gone. She said it was too late, and that +she was lost for ever." + +"Oh," exclaimed the mother, "it is most dreadful!--most dreadful!" This +poor young lady used to be a Sunday-school teacher and district visitor; +but she was never converted, and she knew it. She had full +head-knowledge, but no heart experience, and thus she died in unforgiven +sins. Lost---for ever lost! + +Notwithstanding this, and other solemn lessons which the Lord was +teaching me at this time, I was still restless and unhappy. I felt as if +my life, with its work, was cut off in the very beginning of its +usefulness, and that there was no more for me to do. As the weather +became hot with the advancing summer, I was more and more dejected in +mind and body. I lived now among strangers, and had no settled +occupation, nor could I apply myself to study. + +One very hot and dusty afternoon, as I was slowly toiling up a steep +hill, two women overtook me; and as they were passing, I heard one say +to the other, in a very sad and disheartened tone, "I wish I had never +been born;" and the other responded much in the same spirit, though I +could not hear what she said. A fellow-reeling makes us wondrous kind, +and has the effect of drawing out our sympathies. I followed these poor +women, and when we were on the top of the hill, I spoke to them, and +then added, "You seem very weary. Will you come in and take a cup of tea +and rest a little?" They thanked me, and consented. So I took them into +the house, and asked for some tea. While it was being prepared, I said +to them, "I overheard you talking on the road as you passed me. Do you +really wish you had never been born?" The poor woman who had uttered +these words burst into tears; and as soon as she could command her +feelings sufficiently, she told me her sad tale of sorrow and trouble. +She was a soldier's wife, as was also the other, and they were both in +the same distress. "Well," I said, "trouble does not spring out of the +ground; and we may be equally sure that God, who sends, or at least +permits it, does so for our good. One thing is certain, that if we +humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, He can and will lift us +up, for He has promised to do so. He will make all things work together +for our good, if we trust Him." I then asked them if they had given +their hearts to God. + +One of them said, "Ah, that is what I ought to have done long ago; I +know a deal better than I do. I was brought up well, no mistake; but I +was giddy, and went after the red-coats, and married an ungodly man, and +now I am suffering for it." + +"Dear woman," I said, "you may thank God for hedging up your path. He +might have given you over to prosperity and a false happiness, or left +you altogether. Thank God that it is not worse with you; and give Him +your heart. Do you believe that the Lord Jesus died for you?" She would +not speak. Then I turned to the other, who was also crying, and said, +"Do you believe?" + +"I did once," she said, in a dejected tone; "but I have gone back from +everything." + +By this time their tea was ready, so I refreshed them with it; and after +that we resumed our conversation and united in prayer. They both gave +their hearts to God. I found that they lived not far off, so I had the +opportunity of seeing them from time to time, and was able to instruct +and cheer them on their way. I can see now how God was speaking to me +through these women; but somehow I did not hear or recognize His voice +then. + +About this time, my dear wife became very prostrate in health and +spirits--so much so, that we felt anxious about her. I went to a famous +physician, who was in the neighbourhood, and asked him to come and see +her. He did so, and after careful examination, said that there was +really nothing the matter more than that she was one of those persons +who could not live in that limestone town in the summer. He said, "She +will be perfectly well if you take her away into the country. You must +do this at once, for the longer she remains here, the weaker she will +be." He refused to take any fee, and said he would send a carriage at +two o'clock, and that we must be ready to start by that time. This was +more easily said than done; for where could I take the children, or how +could I leave them at home? However, as the doctor was very peremptory, +we prayed about it, and considered how we were to accomplish the task. + +At this critical moment a friend arrived in his carriage, and said he +had driven in from the country to bring some relatives of his to the +train, and did not care to go back alone. "Would one of us, or both, +take pity on him, and give him our company?" As soon as he heard of our +position he greatly rejoiced, and said, "Come, all of you; I have plenty +of room!" He took the invalid, with some of the children. I shut up the +house, and followed with the others and the nurse, in the fly, which +duly arrived at two o'clock. By five o'clock we were all out in the +green fresh country, and our patient was already revived, and walking +about the garden. + +There happened to be a farm-house vacant, which we took, and removing +some of the furniture, made it comfortable for the present. This we +called "home" for a little time during my unsettled state. + + +CHAPTER 28 + +A Mission to the North, 1855. + +When my family were all comfortably settled and surrounded by kind +friends, I went off to the north of England, on a visit to a clergyman, +who had invited me. He had already suffered for doing this on a previous +occasion, in the diocese of Oxford; where the bishop took away his +licence, because he had me to preach for him. The real cause of offence +was, that there was a revival in the parish; and complaint was made to +the bishop, that people were kept up till "all hours of the night, +howling and praying." His lordship sent forthwith for my friend's +licence; I advised him to send it, saying, "He will be sure to return it +to you; but perhaps with a reprimand." Instead of this, the bishop kept +it, and said that he would countersign his testimonials to go to another +diocese. My friend was at first disgusted and disposed to rebel; but +instead of this, he bore the treatment patiently; and went to another +position and charge at G--, in the north of England. + +Thither, nothing afraid, he invited me to come. In this part of the +country I found a hearty lively people, something like the Cornish. Here +I soon regained my spirits, and got to work in right earnest. + +In this place a revival began at once; and every day we had people +crying for mercy, very much in the way they did in Cornwall. Among +others, there came to the church on Sunday afternoon, a tall +Yorkshireman, in his working clothes. He stood under the gallery, in his +shirt sleeves, with a clay pipe sticking out of his waistcoat pocket, +and a little cap on his head. I fancy I can see him now, standing erect, +looking earnestly at me while I was preaching, with his hand on one of +the iron supports of the gallery. As the sermon proceeded he became +deeply interested, and step by step drew nearer to the pulpit. He seemed +to be altogether unconscious that he was not dressed for a Sunday +congregation, or that he was the object of any special notice. After the +sermon he knelt down in the aisle, and there he remained. I was called +out of the vestry to go to him, but could not get him to say a word. I +prayed by his side, and after some time he groaned out an "Amen," then +he got up, and went towards the door. I followed him, and saw that +instead of going along the path, he made across the graves in the +churchyard, to a particular one; and then he threw himself on the +ground, in vehement and convulsive emotion. He said something about +"Edward," but we could not distinguish what it was. The sexton said that +this was his son Edward's grave. Poor man! he was in great sorrow; but +he kept it all to himself. He then went home, and shut himself up in his +own room. His daughter could do nothing with him in his distress. We +called several times to see him in the course of the evening, but in +vain. + +The next morning I called again, when his daughter told me that he had +gone out early, and had not returned to breakfast. She appeared to be in +a good deal of trouble, and said she had been to his mine to inquire for +him, but that he was not there. All day long we searched for him. Some +looked in the woods, half-expecting they might find his body on the +ground, or hanging from a tree; while others inquired in every +direction, with increasing anxiety, till the evening. Then, as we were +returning home in despair and disappointment, whom should we see in the +green lane between the vicarage and the church, but our friend. He was +looking into the shrubs as if watching something; and when we came up to +him, he turned to us with a radiant smile, and said, "The Lord is +'gude.'" + +I said, "You are right, He is so." + +"Yes, I am right, all right! thank God! Think of that! He saved me this +day!" + +"Are you coming to church to-night?" + +"Oh yes, certainly I will be there." + +"But," I said, "have you been home yet?" + +"Oh yes, sir, thank you; my girl knows all about me." + +That man was so manifestly changed, and so filled with the Spirit, that +his old worldly companions were afraid of him. The publican of the inn +he used to frequent was particularly so, and said he was frightened to +be in the same room with him. + +There was a great stir among the people in this place; for the fear of +the Lord had fallen on them, so that they were solemnized exceedingly, +and many were converted. + +The vicar being somewhat timid, began to be afraid of what was going on; +and wrote to ask counsel of a clerical neighbour at C--, who answered +his letter by inviting him to come over, and bring me with him. He said +that he wanted me to preach in his church on the following Friday +evening, adding, "I have already given notice, and also read parts of +your letter in church. I am sure the people will come and hear this man; +I expect a large congregation. Be sure and bring him over; do not +disappoint me on any account!" + +Accordingly, on the Friday we appeared there, and in the evening I +preached to a large and attentive assembly. Many were awakened, and some +remained behind to be spoken with; others, who were too shy to do so, +went home; and we heard the next morning that several had had no sleep +or rest all night. Three men, whom we saw in the morning, had found +peace. After this, we drove slowly back to G--, but a messenger had +arrived before us, and said that I must come back again with him, for +the bills were already out that I would preach on Sunday and following +days at C----. The vicar was most reluctant to let me go, but under +these circumstances, he at last consented; so I went back in the +carriage the messenger had brought for that purpose. + +At the Sunday morning service, the manner and tone of the people, and +their eager attention, implied that something was going to happen. There +was a deeply solemn feeling in the church, both morning and evening, +which made it very easy to preach. In the course of my sermon, I know +not why, I was led to Speak about the endless misery of hell; and some +who were present said I asserted, "That there was a great clock in hell, +with a large dial, but no hands to mark the progress of time: it had a +pendulum which swung sullenly and slowly from side to side, continually +saying, 'Ever! never!' 'Ever! never!'" * + +______________________ + +* Both Bridaine and Krummacher have expressed somewhat the same idea. +________________________ + +This seemed to make a profound sensation among the people: many stayed +to the after-meeting-they would not go away until they had been spoken +with. Among others, the churchwarden came to me in a very excited state, +and said, "What ever made you say, 'Now or never!--now or never!'?" He +was like one beside himself with emotion when he thought of the pendulum +which I had described. "Now or never!--now or never!" he kept on +repeating to himself, till at last he went away. He was far too excited +to talk of anything else, or to listen either. + +Later on in the evening, we were sent for to come in all haste to his +house. There we found him in great trouble of mind, and afraid to go to +bed. After talking to him for a short time, he went on to say that he +had a strange thing to tell us--that that very morning he was lying in +bed (he thought he was quite awake), and looking at a little picture of +the crucifixion which was hanging over the fireplace. While doing so he +saw as plainly as possible some black figures of imps and devils walking +along the mantelpiece with a ladder, which they placed against the wall, +evidently for the purpose of removing this picture from its place. He +watched them intently, and noticed that they seemed much troubled and +perplexed as to how they were to accomplish their task: Some of the imps +put their shoulders to the under side of the frame, while others went up +the ladder; one, in particular, mounted to the top with great dexterity, +to get the cord off the nail, but without success. Enraged at this, they +made various other attempts, but all in vain, and at last they gave up +in despair, if not something worse; for by this time they appeared +furious, and dashed the ladder down to the ground, as if it were the +fault of it, and not of themselves. In rage and disappointment, they +passed off the scene. + +Presently the bedroom door opened, as he thought, and who should present +himself but "Paul Pry" (that was the name he had given to a Dissenting +preacher in the village, who was a portly man, and always went about +with a thick umbrella under his arm)--the veritable Paul Pry, umbrella +and all, standing at the door. He said to his visitor, "What do you want +here?" The phantom pointed to the picture over the mantelpiece, and +said, in a quiet, confiding way, "Now or never! Do you hear, man? Now or +never!" The man was indignant at this untimely intrusion, and bade his +visitor begone; but, for all that, he still stood at the door, and said, +"Now or never!--now or never!" He got out of bed, and went towards the +door, but the figure disappeared, saying, "Now or never!--now or never!" + +Then he got into bed again, and all was still for a little while, when +suddenly the door opened a second time, and the vicar appeared, just as +Paul Pry had done, and came towards the bed, as if with a friendly and +affectionate concern for his welfare, and said, "My dear fellow, be +persuaded it is 'now or never!'" Then, taking a seat at the corner of +the bed, with his back leaning against the post, he went on talking, and +saying, again and again, "Now or never!" + +The poor churchwarden remonstrated in vain against being visited in this +manner, and thought it very hard; but the vicar sat there, and +persistently, said, "Now or never!" He became very angry, and bade him +go out of the room immediately; but the vicar said, "Now or never!" + +"I will 'now' you," he said, "if you do not be off;" and so saying he +rose up in his bed; while the vicar glided to the door, repeating, "Now +or never!" and went away. The poor man, in great distress of mind, +turned to his wife, and asked her what could be the meaning of all this; +but she only cried, and said nothing. + +Then, who should come next but Mr. F----, a quiet man of few words. He +had thoughts, no doubt, but kept them all to himself. He came gliding +into the room, as the vicar had done, sat on the same corner of the bed, +leant against the same post, and in 'the quietest way possible repeated +the same words, "Now or never!" + +"Do you hear him?" said the poor distracted man to his wife--"do you +hear him?" + +"Hear him? Hear what? No! nonsense! What does he say?" + +"My dear, there! listen!" + +"Now or never!" said the quiet man. + +"There, did you not hear that?" + +"No," she said, "I can hear nothing," and began to cry more copiously. +He got up, and said he would take the poker and punish every one of +them--that he would. The strange visitor made for the door, and, like +all the rest, said, as he disappeared, "Now or never!" + +The poor churchwarden continued in a most distracted state, and during +the day met all his three visitors who had caused him so much +anxiety--"Paul Pry," the vicar, and the quiet gentleman, none of whom +looked at him or spoke to him as if anything had happened; but when he +heard me say over and over again in the pulpit, "Now or never!" +pointing, as it were, to the ghostly pendulum swinging there saying, +"Ever!--never!" and inquiring of the people "Do you see it? do you hear +it?" it seemed to bring matters to a climax. He said he turned and +looked at the wall to which I pointed, and almost expected to see that +solemn clock. + +I did not wait to hear more, but kneeling down, I begged him to close +with the offer of salvation "now." "No," he said, with a sigh, "I am +afraid I have refused too long!" + +"Don't say so! take it at once, 'now;' or perhaps it will be 'never' +with you. A man does not often get such a plain warning as you have had. +You had better take care what you are doing. 'Now!' why not 'now'?" He +did accept salvation, and yielding himself to God, received forgiveness +of his sins; and after that became a very different man. + +He had, as may have been suspected from the above narrative, the +besetment of drink, before his conversion, and it remained a trouble to +him after. Conversion and forgiveness of sins do not put away present +bad habits. Such a master habit as this requires a direct dealing with. + +Zaccheus was a man who had been led astray by the love of money; when he +was saved, he put his idol away from him at a stroke. This is the first +thing to be done; and if it is done in the power of one's first love, it +is a more easy task than afterwards. But it must be done with a firm and +whole heart; not "Lord, shall I give the half of my goods to feed the +poor?" but, "Lord. behold, the half of my goods I do give." "Behold, +Lord, I do give up the world here, now." "Behold, Lord, I do here, and +now, give up drink, anti will totally abstain from it henceforth." This +is the first step; and the next is not less important, and that is to +carry out the determination in the Lord's power, and not in our own. The +resolution and determination once made, must be given over to the Lord +to be kept by Him; not by our own effort and energy, but with perfect +distrust of self and in dependence upon Him to enable us to keep it. +Without this, there is no security whatever for anything more than +temporary success, too often succeeded by a sorrowful fall. The flesh is +too strong for us, and even if it were not so, the devil is; these two +together, besides the lax example of the world, are sure to overpower +the weak one. Young Christians need to put away at once the sin, +whatever it is, that "so easily besets" them, or they will be entangled +by it. There is no real and thorough deliverance, except by renouncing +sin, and self too, giving up and yielding to the Lord. + +That soul was saved; but it was a miserable bondage of fear in which he +lived and died. He was brought home at last, like a wrecked ship into +harbour, who might have come in with a good freight, a happy welcome, +and an "abundant entrance." + +The next day, Monday, we heard of other cases which were ordinary in +their character, and therefore need not be detailed; but in the evening +there was one which it will be instructive to mention. + +It was that of a clergyman of private means who came to this parish as a +curate; but he had given up "taking duty," because, he said, "it was all +humbug reading prayers, and all that." He drove a tandem,' and smoked +all day instead; nevertheless, he was the object of much and earnest +prayer. He also happened to be at church the day I preached about the +clock; and declared likewise that I said there was a clock in hell. The +sermon had evidently made a great impression upon him. He came to church +again the next day, and heard something else that he was unable to +forget. After the service, as soon as I was free, he asked me to walk +with him, to which I assented, though I was feeling very tired. We +rambled on the beach, and talked about many things. I tried in vain to +bring up the subject of my discourse. When I spoke about it he was +silent; and when I was silent, he went off into other matters. He talked +about Jerusalem and the sands of the desert, and the partridges, which, +he said, were of the same colour as the sand. Was it from looking at +sand always that they became that colour? Do people become alike who +look much at one another? Is that why husbands and wives so often +resemble each other? and so on. These questions made an impression on +me, so that they always come up to my memory in connection with that +evening's walk. Certainly, the apostle says that, "Beholding the glory +of the Lord, we are changed into the same image from...glory to glory;" +therefore there may be something in my companion's idea. But, however +interesting the subject might be to consider. I was far too tired for +anything else but real soul-to-soil! work, and therefore proposed that +we should return home. We did so; and when my friend left me at the +vicarage door, he said abruptly, "Will you let me write to you?" + +"Certainly," I replied. "I will write to-night; but do not trouble to +answer in person; send me a written reply. "I said I would. In a few +minutes after I received a short note, the purport of which was, "How +can I be saved?" It is a very simple question, yet one not so easily +answered to a person who already knew the scriptural answer. However, I +had a letter by me which Mr. Aitken had written to some one under +similar circumstances; so, taking that for a model, I wrote according to +promise, adapting and altering sentences to meet the present case. I +sent the note, with a message that I would call in the morning. I did +so, but found my friend was not at home. The landlady said, "Mr. F--- +went out last night soon after he received a letter, and has not been +home since." She became alarmed when she heard that we had not seen him. +We too were taken by surprise, and did not know which way to go in +search of him, or what to do. Presently we met the clerk of the church, +who inquired if we had seen anything of Mr. F--; he had called the night +before for the keys of the church, and had not returned them; so he (the +clerk) could not get into the church to ring the bell or admit the +congregation. + +This threw some light on the matter; so we went immediately to the +church, and with the vicar's keys entered by the vestry door. Looking +about in all directions, we found our friend on his knees in the nave, +where he had been all night. I went up to him; and, as he did not speak, +I asked if I might pray with him. + +He said, "Yes." + +"What shall I pray for?" + +"I don't know." + +"Shall I ask the Lord to come down from heaven again and die on the +cross for you?" + +"No." + +"Do you believe that He has done that?' + +"Yes, I do." + +"You do believe that He has died for you-for you?" I inquired, laying +the emphasis on you--"for you, as if you were the only person for whom +He died?" + +"Yes; I believe He died for me." + +"Do you thank Him for it?" + +"No, I do not; I do not feel anything." + +"That may be; but do you not think you ought to thank Him for what He +did for you?" He did not reply. + +"How can you feel anything till you have it? Or how can He give you any +feelings till you thank Him for what He has already done for you? Make +some acknowledgment." + +"Thank you," he replied; and without another word he rose from his knees +and went away. The bell was rung, the people assembled, and we had the +service; but he did not remain. + +Again he disappeared for the whole day, until the evening, when he came +into the vestry, and said, "Will you let me read prayers this evening?" +To this the vicar gladly assented; so he put on the surplice for the +first time after several months, and went into church with us. + +The fact of his reading prayers again, and more especially the manner in +which he did it, attracted attention. The earnest tone and meaning he +threw into the words of the prayers, and more particularly into the +psalm, penetrated much deeper. One lady knelt down and began to pray for +herself in the pew; others were riveted as by the power of the Spirit. +All through the sermon, I felt that the Lord was working among the +people, and at the close they were loth to go. Many more remained in the +after-meeting than we could speak to; manifest was the power of the +Spirit, and much good was done. + +There was great joy in the little village that night, and for several +days following the Lord wrought among the people. Many lasting mementos +remain of this week's ministry, and of the weeks which followed. + +Our reticent friend was changed indeed, and immediately gave up the +tandem and the pipes. I do not think he has ever smoked since; he has +had something better to do. + +Smoking is an idle custom, and too often enslaves its votaries; and even +if it does not become a dominant habit, it certainly teaches no lesson +of self-denial. A Christian man needs not to seek relief in any such +way. It is said to be very soothing when a man is in any trouble or +anxiety; if so, in this respect it may be said to be next door to the +beer-barrel, or to the use of spirits. If one man may soothe his +feelings with this narcotic, another may stimulate them, when he is low +and cheerless, with alcohol. The Apostle James says, "Is any merry, let +him sing psalms." He does not say, Is any afflicted or low, let him +smoke and drink! No; "let him pray," and depend upon God. Many a lesson +which might be learned from God on our knees, is let slip altogether +because we think there is no ham in relieving ourselves by +self-indulgence. The flesh is a monster which is never appeased, much +less subdued, by gratification. + +Our friend put away the smoking, and sold his pipes of various kinds, +which must have cost a considerable sum, for he realized eighty pounds +by them. With this amount, and some addition, he was able to put stained +glass windows into the already beautiful church in which he received his +blessing. This suitable thank-offering was a lasting memorial of his +gratitude, besides being an example to others, not only to give their +hearts to God, but also to give up their besetments, whatever they might +be, and in doing so be free for God's service. + +This young man soon after was removed to a more arduous sphere, and +carried great blessing thither; as he did also when he went from thence +to a yet more influential and important place. Though now laid aside by +ill health, he sends tracts and writes letters to many, and so continues +to be, in the hand of the Lord, the means of winning souls; and in +addition to this, sets an example of a holy and godly life. + +Another little incident I must notice here. While I was still working in +this place, I received a letter from home, telling me that they were all +well, and very happy in the country, but that they wanted me back again, +and thought I had been away quite long enough. Besides this, it was time +to be getting summer things, for which they would want at least ten +pounds. I had no money to send; and though I might have asked many kind +friends, I felt a difficulty about it. I do not think it was pride. I +had put myself and all my affairs into God's hands; and though I was not +ashamed to tell our circumstances to any one who asked me, I made it a +rule not to mention my troubles or wants to any but the Lord. I read the +cheerful parts of my letter at breakfast, and kept the other till I went +upstairs. There I spread the letter on the bed at which I knelt, and +read to the Lord the part that troubled me. I was praying about it, when +there came a knock at the door, and before I had time to say "Come in," +my friend F--- entered. Seeing me on my knees, he apologized for +intruding, and in his shy way put a ten-pound note into my hand, saying, +"I am ashamed it is not more; but will you accept that?" With this, he +made for the door; but I detained him, in order to show him the part of +my letter I had not read in the morning. I said, "I was just reading it +to the Lord; and look, while I was still on my knees, He has sent you +with the answer. It is the exact sum I want, so do not apologize for it. +I thank God and thank you. I will send this off at once." + + + +CHAPTER 29 + +Tregoney, 1855. + +It was time now to be returning southward and homeward; which I did by +several stages, stopping to preach in various places on the way. At +length I reached the village in Cornwall, where my family were lodging +in the farmhouse I have already mentioned. + +Here, the two clergymen were rather afraid of me, and avoided asking me +to preach in the church. They had both been converted (or, at least, so +they said) more than a year; but instead of working for God, they were +bent on Romanizing. One of them said that there was no salvation in the +Church of England; and the other showed me a sealed letter he had in his +desk, which, he said, he "dared not open." It was from a brother of his, +who went to Rome, and contained his reasons for so doing. "Ah," he said, +"if I open that letter, I feel sure that I shall have to go too." This +fascinating dread was upon him till he really did go, six months +afterwards. I tried to deter these men from the erroneous step they were +contemplating, by getting them into active work for the Lord. Sometimes +I preached in this church, but more often in the open air. I am sorry to +say my friends were but half-hearted in their cooperation, so that after +a few weeks I left, and went to the west. + +On my way thither, a clergyman, who happened to be inside the coach, +gave me his card, and then came outside for the purpose of talking with +me. He asked me if I would take charge of his church and parish for six +weeks. I said I would, but could not go for a week or two. We agreed as +to time, and on the promised Saturday I arrived at the place. + +I walked there from a neighbouring town, having several calls to make on +the way, and left my luggage to follow by the van. In the evening, about +eight o'clock, I went down to meet this conveyance, and tell the man +where to deliver my bag. I found a crowd of people in front of the inn +where the van stopped, and heard the driver say, in reply to some +question, "I've not got him, but I've got his bag." + +"Where is he?" said a voice. "I don't know," one said, "but I saw a +queer little chap go into Mrs. M--'s house." + +"That's the place," said the driver; "that's where I'm a-going to take +his bag. Come on, and let's see if he'll have it." + +I went in and out among the crowd, as it was dark, asking questions, and +found out that they "would like to duck the fellow if they could catch +him;" they "did not want any such Revivalist chap as that amongst them," +and so forth. They were greatly excited, and wondered which road he was +likely to come, for they would go to meet him. Some one asked, "what is +he like ?" One answered, "Oh, he is a rum-looking little fellow that +stoops. I should know him again anywhere." Hearing this, I held up my +head like a soldier, in order to look as large as possible, and waited +about till they dispersed. + +Then I joined a young man, and, talking with him, ascertained what it +was all about. I passed the house where I was to lodge, for I saw that +the people were watching the door. I came back among them, and, pointing +to the door, said, "Is that where he stops?" + +"Yes," one replied, "he is there. The man brought his bag and left it; +he is there, sure enough." + +I said, "Let us go in and see him; come along--come!" + +So saying, I made for the door and knocked, beckoning to the others to +follow me; but they would not do so. As soon as the door was opened I +went in, and the landlady speedily closed it after me, saying, "I am +glad you are come. How did you manage to get here? I have sent word to +the constable to look out for you, and he is still watching somewhere." + +"Why," I asked, "what is it all about? What is the matter?" + +"Why, some of the lads here say, that if they could catch you, they +would give you a good ducking in the pond." + +"Indeed!" I said. "Then I don't think I will give them that pleasure +tonight." So, sitting down by the fire, I made myself comfortable, and +after supper went to bed. + +In the morning, while at breakfast, I saw a number of men playing in the +open space in front of the house. Some were tossing pence, some playing +at ball and other games, while many were standing about smoking, with +their hands in their pockets. + +"There, that's the way they spend their Sundays in this place," said the +landlady. + +After watching them from the window for a little time, I put on my hat +and went out, and told them "it was time to go home and get ready for +church; that would be far better," I said, "than playing like this on +Sunday. It is a disgrace to men like you--married men, too, with +families! It would be bad enough if you were a parcel of boys. I am +quite ashamed of you!" + +They slunk away one by one, and I walked down the street to look about +me, and to see the school-room where there was no school; but I intended +to have a prayer-meeting there in the evening, after the service. I put +up a notice to this effect, and then came back to my lodgings, till it +was near church-time, when I set out, arrayed in my gown and bands, for +the sacred edifice. + +On the way there I observed stones flying past me in every direction; +but I walked on, till at last I was struck on the cheek with a patch of +muddy clay which was thrown at me. There was a universal shout of +laughter when the men and boys saw that I had been hit. I put my hand to +the place, and found that the pat of clay was sticking to my cheek, so I +pressed it there, hoping, by the help of my whiskers, that it would +remain. I said to the crowd, who were laughing at me, "That was not a +bad shot. Now, if you come to church you shall see it there; I will keep +it on as long as I can." So saying, I walked on amidst the jeers of the +people. + +When I arrived at the vestry, the clerk was in great trouble when he +knew what had happened. He said, "Do let me wash the mud off, sir." + +"Oh, no," I replied, "I mean to show that all day, if I can." + +During the morning service, at which there were about fifty present, I +succeeded in keeping on my mud-patch, and returned to dinner with the +same. + +In the afternoon I said that I would have a service for children, as +there was no Sunday school, to which about twenty came. Before +addressing them, seeing that they were intently looking at the patch on +my cheek, I told them how it came there, and that I intended to keep it +on all through the evening service. + +This news spread all over the whole place, and the consequence was that +such numbers of people came out of curiosity, that the church was filled +to over-flowing. I preached without any reference to what had taken +place, and succeeded in gaining the attention of the people; so that +after the service I said I would have a prayer-meeting in the +schoolroom. We had the place crammed, and not a few found peace. I +announced that I would preach again the next evening. + +A revival soon broke out in that place, and the crowds who came to the +meetings were so great, that we had as many people outside the large +school-room as there were in. + +At the end of the six weeks the new vicar returned, and I was able to +hand over the parish to him, with a full church, three Bible-classes, +and a large Sunday-school. This I did, thanking God for the measure of +success and blessing He had given to my efforts in that populous and +wicked place. + +After I had left I received a letter from some of the parishioners, +asking me what I should like to have as a testimonial of their gratitude +and regard; hat they had had a penny collection amongst themselves, +which amounted to several pounds, and now they were waiting to know what +I should like! + +I wrote to tell them that nothing would please me better than a service +of plate for communion with the sick. They bought this, and had a +suitable inscription engraved, and then placed it under a glass shade in +the Town Hall, on a certain day for inspection. Hundreds of people came +to see the result of their penny contribution. After this public +exhibition, the communion service was sent to me with a letter, written +by a leading man in the place, saying, "I was one of the instigators of +the opposition to your work here; but the very first evening you spoke +in the school-room I was outside listening,' and was shot through the +window. The word hit my heart like a hammer, without breaking a pane of +glass. Scores and scores of people will bless God to all eternity that +you ever came amongst us." + +The revival in this proverbially wicked place, created such a stir that +the newspapers took it up, and thought for once that I "was in the right +place, and doing a good work!" The member for the borough sent me +twenty-five pounds, "begging my acceptance of the trifle." Who asked +him, or why he sent it, I do not know; but the Lord knew that we needed +help. More than this, the vicar of the adjoining parish, who used to be +very friendly with me in my unconverted days, but who had declared his +opposition pretty freely since that time, sent me a letter one Sunday +morning by private hand, to be delivered to me personally. This I duly +received, but expecting that it was one of his usual letters, and +knowing that I had visited some persons in his parish who were anxious, +I thought I would not open it until Monday, and so placed it on the +mantelpiece. A friend who happened to come in, noticing it there, said, +"I see you have a letter from the Prebendary; I dare say he is angry +with you." + +"I suppose he is," I said; "but it will keep till tomorrow; and I do not +care to be troubled with his thoughts to-day." + +"Oh, do let me open it," said my visitor; "I shall not be here +to-morrow, and I should like to hear what he has to say." + +With my consent he opened it and read, "Dear old Haslam, you have done +more good in that part of my parish where you are working, in a few +weeks, than I have done for years. I enclose you a cheque for the amount +of tithes coming from there. The Lord bless you more and more! Pray for +me!" + +It was a cheque for thirty-seven pounds. The next morning I went over to +see my old friend newly-found, and to thank him in person for his +generous gift. Poor man, I found him very low and depressed, and quite +ready and willing that I should talk and pray with him. I sincerely hope +that he became changed before I left the neighbourhood, but I never +heard that he declared himself. + +By this time, while I was still in Tregoney, Mr. Aitken had found his +way to the village where my family were lodging, and he was preaching at +the church with his usual power and effect. Night after night souls were +awakened and saved. The vicar's wife was in a towering rage of +opposition. Poor woman! she declared that she "would rather go to Rome +than be converted ;" and to Rome she went, but remained as worldly as +ever. + +It matters very little whether unconverted people join the Church of +Rome or not; they are sure to be lost for ever if they die in their +unconverted state: for nothing avails for eternal salvation but faith in +the Lord Jesus Christ. + + +CHAPTER 30 + +Secessions, 1856. + +After mission which Mr. Aitken had held, people came out so decidedly, +that the vicar and curate, who had all along kept aloof, doubting, fell +back into a kind of revulsion, and began to read and lend Romish books. +Eventually, they themselves decided to join the Church of Rome. Whether +they were ever really converted or not, I cannot tell. I thought and +hoped they were, but they seldom stood out on the Lord's side. They +certainly had light, and may have had some experience. At any rate, they +chose such a harlot as the Church of Rome for the object of their love, +instead of Christ Himself. + +I loved the curate. He was the man who had the unopened letter in his +desk,* of which he harboured such a dread. Sad to say, he ended by +falling away at last. Poor man! he went over to Rome, and never held up +his head any more. Evidently disappointed, and ashamed to come back, he +lingered on for some months, and then died. + +____________________ + +* See page 256. +_________________ + +Not long after his secession, we accidentally met in a quiet lane, in +another part of the county, where I was walking for meditation. Perhaps +he was led there for the same purpose. Meeting so unexpectedly, there +was no opportunity to evade one another. I felt a trembling come over me +at seeing him, and he was none the less moved. We held each other's +hands in silence, till at last I said, "How are you? I love you still." + +"I cannot stand it!" he said; and snatching his hand out of mine, he ran +away. + +I never saw him again, but mourned for him till he died. I cannot help +thinking that he is safe, and that he died in a faith more scriptural +than that of the Church of Rome. + +Why do men secede; and break their own hearts, and the hearts of those +who love them? Rome seems to cast a kind of spell upon the conscience, +fascinating its victims much as the gaze of the serpent is said to hold +a bird, till it falls into its power; or as a light attracts a moth, +till it flies into it, to its own destruction. Such seceders mourn and +dread the step; pray about it, think and think, till they are bewildered +and harassed; and then, in a fit of desperation, go off to some Romish +priest to be received. A man who had an honourable position, a work and +responsibility, suddenly becomes a nonentity, barely welcomed, and +certainly suspected. + +Romish people compass sea and land to make proselytes; and after they +have gained them, they are afraid of them, for their respective +antecedents are so different, that it is impossible for them to think +together. They get the submission of a poor deluded pervert, but he gets +nothing in return from them but a fictitious salvation. They gain him; +but he was lost the kind regard and sympathy of friends he had before, +and with it all that once was dear to him; and he voluntarily forfeits +all this upon the bare self-assertion of a system which claims his +implicit obedience. The poor pervert is required to give over his will, +his conscience, and his deepest feelings to the keeping of his so-called +"priest" or to the Church, and is expected to go away unburdened and at +peace. Some there are, it is true, who actually declare that they have +peace by this means; but what peace it is, and of what kind, I know not. + +Supposing that I was in debt and anxiety, and a man who had no money, +but plenty of assurance and brass, came to me and sympathized in my +trouble, saying, "Do not fear---trust me; I will bear your burden, and +pay off your debt"--if the manner of the man was sufficiently assuring, +it would lift up the cloud of anxiety and distress; but, for all that, +the penniless man would net, and could not, pay my debt. I might fancy +he had done so or would do so; and then, when it was too late, the debt, +with accumulated interest, would fall on me, to my over-whelming ruin, +even though I had been ever so free from anxiety before. So it is with +these deluded ones, who go to the priest instead of to Christ, and take +his absolution instead of Christ's forgiveness. + +Any one who carefully reads the Word of God may see that the Church of +Rome has no such priesthood as she claims, nor power to forgive sins, as +she professes to do. The whole supposition is based on a +misunderstanding of the text, "Whose soever sins ye remit, they are +remitted unto them; and whosesoever sins ye retain, they are retained" +(John 20:23). + +The disciples (some of them not apostles) who received this commission +or privilege, never understood that they were by these words (men and +women together) empowered to be absolving priests. Even the very +apostles never knew that they had any such power; and it is certain they +never exercised it. They were perfectly innocent of being priests after +the Romish type, and never dreamed of offering a propitiatory sacrifice. +They simply believed that Christ had completed the work of propitiation +once for all; and that there is now no more sacrifice for sin--that +Christ only can forgive sins. Therefore in the words of St. John we are +told, that "if any man sin (apostles and people alike), we have an +advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He is the +propitiation for our sins" (1 John 2:1, 2). + +The apostles and early Christians never understood that the power of the +keys meant the exercise of mere priestly authority, neither was the +doctrine known for several centuries after their time; therefore we may +be sure that the peace which perverts have, if it professes to come from +that source, is a delusion. No true remission or peace is, or can be +given, but by direct and personal transaction with Christ Himself. + +I am perfectly convinced that the Epistles to the Romans and the +Galatians are the answer to all the pretences of the Church of Rome, and +that a man who will not read and follow them deserves to be misled. God +is perfectly justified and clear on this point. + +During that winter six of my friends joined the Church of Rome. One I +have already told about, who died, I am sure, from grief and +disappointment.* Another became bigoted, and with a sullen, dogged +pertinacity, set himself to work for Rome, looking very miserable all +the time, although he used once to be happy in the Lord's work. The +others, without exception, went back into the world, and made no secret +of their conformity with it, its ways, and fashions. + +______________________ + +* See page 263. +________________________ + +This was a time of trouble in more respects than one. These secessions +to Rome brought great discredit upon the work, and especially on the +effort to promote Catholic truth, and higher Church life. I found my own +refuge and comfort was in working for God, and therefore went out on +mission work whenever and wherever I could. + +Early in the spring of this year I went on a mission to Worcestershire, +and there the Lord vouchsafed a great blessing, which has more or less +continued to this day; though I grieve to say the present vicar has no +sympathy with it. The work is still carried on in an Iron Room, out of +church hours, by people who continue to go to church. + +The vicar of that time asked me to go and visit a farmer's wife, who was +under deep conviction, and wished to see me. I did so, and as we +approached the door (which was open) the first thing we heard was this +individual saying, in a very high-pitched: voice, "Confound..." + +Seeing us, she suddenly stopped. "Go on with your text," said the vicar, +quietly, "'Confounded be all they that serve graven images;' is that +what you mean?" + +"No," she replied; "come in, I am so wretched that I don't know what to +do with myself; it has made me cross. Do come in and pray with me." + +We at once consented; and on pointing her to Jesus, she found peace. Not +content with praising God alone, she opened her house for a meeting for +the people in the neighbourhood. This being situated on the confines of +the parish, brought us into collision with the rector of the next +parish. He was most indignant at our coming (as he said), "to entice his +people away." + +I tried my best to conciliate this gentleman, but nothing would do, +particularly when he heard that I was thinking of settling down in the +district. This plan was however frustrated in an unexpected manner, and +I was not permitted to remain there. + +One day, when I was praying about the matter, a letter was put into my +hand from a lady who had been asking the Lord for nearly six months that +I might be appointed to her late husband's church. She had applied to +Lord Palmerston, who was the patron, and though she had received no +answer, yet she had continued to pray. + +At last there came a courteous letter from his: lordship, apologizing +for having delayed his reply, adding that he "had mislaid the +application of her, nominee; if she would oblige him with the name and +address of this person, the appointment should be made out immediately." +She gave my name and address, and sent his letter on to me. I +immediately wrote to his lordship, saying that I had not applied for the +living, nor did I want it; but, for all that, I received by return post +the nomination; and actually, it was to go back to the diocese of +Exeter! I did not think the Bishop would institute me, as I had +committed a great many irregularities since his lordship had taken off +my harness. But he did. + +Somehow I was unwilling to go to this living, but was put into it in +spite of myself. Here I had a good house, garden, and church, provided +for me, with so much a year. I wondered whether God was tired of me! He +had provided for me and my family during the past year wondrously, and I +began to like "living by faith," and trusting in Him only. I have great +doubts whether this appointment was altogether in accordance with God's +will. Anyway, I had very little success or liberty in preaching, and +could not settle down to work with any energy. + +In the beginning of the summer, as usual, I had my attack of hay fever, +which completely incapacitated me, in this place of much grass. If I +went to a town or the sea-side, it was well; but the moment I returned +to the country I was ill again. Altogether, it was a dull and +distressing time; but God was preparing me for a special work. + + + +CHAPTER 31 + +Hayle, 1857-58. + +While meditating upon my present position, and wondering what I was to +do next, I received an invitation to take charge of a district in +another part of the county, near the sea, which suited my health. Here +there was a large population, which gave scope for energetic action; +and, moreover, the people were careless and Godless, and, as such, were +not preoccupied with other systems. So I thought it was the very place +in which I could begin to preach, and go on to prove the power of the +Gospel. + +With the invitation, I received an exaggerated account of the wickedness +of the people, and was told that the thinking part of them leant towards +infidelity, and that some of them were actually banded together in an +infidel club. All this, however, did not deter me from going, but rather +stirred me up so much the more to try my lance against this gigantic +foe. I had learned before now to regard all difficulties in my work as +the Lord's, and not mine; and that, though they might be greater than I +could surmount, they were not too great for Him. + +There were two large iron factories here, besides shipping. Many of the +people employed were drawn from other parts of England, and were what +the Cornish call "foreigners." They had no love for chapel services, or +revivals, and no sympathy with Cornish views and customs; so not having +a church to go to, they were left pretty much to themselves. + +With this attractive sphere before me, I gave up my living and work in +the country, and accepted the curacy at l. 120 a year, with a house +rent-free. My rector was a dry Churchman, who had no sympathy with me; +but he seemed glad to get any one to come and work amongst such a rough, +and in some respects unmanageable, set. He had bought a chapel from the +Primitive Methodists for Divine service, and had erected schools for +upwards of three hundred children. These he offered me as my ground of +operation, promising, with a written guarantee, that if I succeeded, he +would build me a church, and endow it with all the tithes of that +portion of the parish. + +Here was a field of labour which required much prayer and tact, as well +as energetic action. In accordance with Scriptural teaching, "I +determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified." I made +up my mind that I would not begin by having temperance addresses for +drunkards, or lectures on the Evidences of Christianity for the infidel, +but simply with preaching the Gospel. + +One thing that simplified my work very much was the fact, that the +people were spiritually dead. I used to tell them, that in this free +country every man is accounted innocent till he is proved to be guilty, +but that in the Bible every man is guilty before God till he is +pardoned, and dead till he is brought to life. In one sense it does not +matter very much whether a man is an infidel, a drunkard, or anything +else, if he is dead in trespasses and sins. + +It is of very little consequence in what coloured raiment a corpse is +shrouded; it remains a corpse still. + +Taking this position positively, I avoided much religious controversy, +to the disappointment of many eager disputants, who longed to ventilate +their views. 'I told them plainly, that whether they were, right or +wrong, my business was with the salvation: of souls, and my one desire +was to rescue the lost: by bringing' them to Christ. + +Hitherto I had been to places where the Lord had previously prepared the +hearts of the people, and therefore it had been my joy to see a revival +spring up, as if spontaneously; that is, without the ordinary +preparation by the people of the place. These extraordinary +manifestations of God's power and love; and they showed me what He could +and do. Now that I was somewhat more intelligent on the subject, He sent +me forth to prepare and work for similar results. + +Hayle was to all appearances a very barren soil, and the people I had to +labour amongst were greater and mightier than myself. They already had +possession of the ground, and were perfectly content with their own way. +Moreover, they did not desire any change, and were ready even to resist +and oppose every effort which was designed to ameliorate their +condition, or to change their lives. In this undertaking I knew and +understood that without prayer and dependence upon God to work in me and +by me, my mission would be altogether unavailing, I therefore looked +about, and found some Christians who consented to unite in pleading for +an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. We agreed to pray in private, and also +met together frequently during the week for united prayer. Finding that +many of the petitions offered were vague and diffuse, I endeavoured to +set before those assembled a definite object of prayer. I told them that +the work was not ours but the Lord's, and that He was willing and ready +to accomplish it, but that He must be inquired of concerning the work of +His hands. Also, in order that our prayers should be intelligent and +united, I put before them the fact, that the people we had to work +amongst were lost; not that they would be lost by-and-by if they died in +their sins; but that they were actually lost now. It is true that many +were quite ignorant of the way of salvation, and were also unconscious +of the power of the enemy who held them captive; and besides, they loved +their captivity too well; but all this would be overcome in a moment, +when they were once enlightened by the Spirit (in answer to prayer) to +see and feel themselves lost. No one could be more ignorant than the +jailor at Philippi, but as soon as he was awakened he cried out, "What +must I do to be saved?" (Acts 16:30). + +I showed them that the work we had to do was clearly set forth in +Scripture (Acts 26:18), and that the order in which it was to be done +was also made manifest. We must not begin with giving instruction as if +the people were merely ignorant; but rather by awakening or opening +their eyes to see that they were in a lost and ruined condition. Then +they would appreciate being turned "from darkness to light, and from the +power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins" +(Acts 26:18). I strove earnestly to show them that until people had +received forgiveness of sins, our work was not complete. We made this +our definite aim, and prayed about it with clear expectation. Under the +shadow and influence of this prayer, I began to preach to the people; +not to believe, but to awake and see their lost condition; that is, to +repent, that they might believe the Gospel. + +At first there were very few people in my congregation, but by degrees +more came, and listened attentively to the Word. After preaching for +four or five Sundays, I asked the people during my sermon, what in the +world they were made of; for I was surprised at them! They came and +listened to God's truth, and yet did not yield themselves to Him. "Are +you wood, or leather, or stone? What are your hearts made of, that God's +love cannot touch or His Word break them?" I then invited the anxious to +remain for an after-meeting, when I said that I would converse with them +more familiarly; but they every one went away. + +I returned to the vestry,' feeling somewhat dejected, but still hoping +for better days. As I opened the door to go home, two men ran away like +frightened boys, but it was too dark for me to distinguish who they +were. + +That next morning it came to my mind that I must go round to the people +and ask them what they were thinking about? I had done so from the +pulpit; now I would go from house to house and do the same. I went first +to the school, and finding that several children were absent, I took +their names and determined to go after them, in the hope of reaching +their parents. + +The first house I called at was a mistake, and yet it was not. I knocked +at the door, and said, "Does Mrs. W-- live here?" + +The woman who opened it said, "No, she lives next door." + +I apologized for disturbing her, and was going away, when she said, +"Will you not come in for a few minutes?" I assented, and going in, took +a seat. Then I asked her name, and whether she went to church. + +She replied, "To be sure I do. Don't you see me there every Sunday?" + +"Then," I said, "did you hear my question last evening." + +"Yes," she said, "but I was afraid, and ashamed to stay behind. But I do +wish to be saved; I have been wretched for more than a week." + +It was very easy to lead to the Saviour of sinners one whose heart was +so prepared. She soon found peace, and became one of my most useful and +steadiest helpers. + +Her neighbour next door, was by no means so ready to receive the truth, +and I had to supply another argument altogether. Eventually, she also +found peace in believing; though not for some weeks. + +From this house, I visited several others, and in all of them had +serious dealing with individuals about their 'souls' salvation. Then I +set off to see a man I had often observed in church; having noticed the +anxious look with which he always regarded me during the sermon. I found +him at home, and, on entering his house, he said, at once, "I know what +you are come for. Wait a little, sir, please to sit down;" and before I +had time to say a word, he went upstairs. In a few minutes he returned, +with a shilling in his hand. "There," he said, "there it is; that is my +contribution for the Indian Mutiny Fund." + +I thanked him for his offering, and promised that it should be given to +the treasurer. "But," I added, "to tell the truth, I have not come about +that, but to see you. I want to speak to you about your soul." + +He sat down, looking, as I thought, most unhappy. Then he said,--"Last +night my mate and I made up our minds to speak to you in the vestry; +but, just as we were coming to the door, you opened it, and we ran +away." + +"Yes," I said, "I heard you." + +"Well, after that, we came home, and prayed the Lord to send you to us: +and here you are!" + +"Thank God for the answer to prayer. Now then, what can I do for you?" + +He told me that he was born of respectable parents in Germany; but that, +for his bad ways and bad habits, they had sent him to this country to +work for his bread; that he had taken the pledge several times, and +broken it again and again, though he had prayed and done all he could +think of; but it was to no propose. + +"If you had stayed last night," I said, "I might have helped you. How +did you come to break your pledge?" + +"Oh," he said, "it came to my mind that when I signed, I was only +thinking of beer and spirits, not wine; so I took some, and it flew to +my head; and soon I was as bad as ever." + +"Now," I said, "you have renounced wine and all; have you?" + +"Yes, I have." + +"Well then, will you give your heart to God also?" + +In course of conversation it came out, that this man's first impressions +were effected some years before, by a dream, or vision of Christ on the +cross. He was passing by, but, somehow, turned to look at it; when, to +his surprise, he saw that the eyes of the figure were looking at him. As +he approached, the figure appeared to be standing on the ground, and +beckoning, when a sudden fear came over him; he stopped, and the vision +faded away. Ever since that time, he had felt that Jesus was the Friend +he needed; and that nothing less would satisfy him. + +Unfortunately, too many, like this man, stop at a critical point of +their history; and, often, the crisis is not prolonged for them, as it +was for him. + +A long time ago there was a sinner arrested by a similar vision. He +says, in a hymn which he wrote, giving a description of it:-- + +"I saw One hanging on a tree, +In agony and blood, +Who fixed His languid eyes on me +As near the cross I stood." + +He continues, + +"My conscience felt and owned its guilt;" and when he did so, he +received a second look, which spoke forgiveness to him, as distinctly as +the first look brought him under conviction. + +I charged this man to make his surrender, and to own or acknowledge +himself the sinner for whom Jesus died. On doing so, he obtained +forgiveness and peace, and has since, by grace, been enabled to live a +happy, consistent, and devoted life, and has been a blessing to many +souls. No sooner had he found the Saviour, than immediately he began to +plead for and with his friend James. I know not what passed between +them; but that same evening he brought him to me with a heart prepared +to receive Christ. We had only to point him to Jesus, and encourage him +to thank God, when he realized the truth in his own experience. + +So that Monday I rejoiced over five people brought to the Lord; and then +the work began in real earnest. Every week after that, remarkable +conversions took place, besides many ordinary ones. Some of these, +including the one just mentioned, are described at length in tracts, and +are also published in a volume entitled "Building from the Top, and +other Stories;" but, notwithstanding this, a brief allusion to them in +this narrative may not be out of place, being so particularly connected +with the work here. + +A woman called me into her cottage one morning as I was passing by, and +told me of her son, a steady young man, though still unconverted, for +whom she had prayed continually ever since his birth. She said, when he +was a very little child, she heard him one night sobbing and praying in +his room--"O Lord, save me up for a good boy!" She thought this was in +answer to her supplication; but as he grew up he became thoughtless and +careless, like too many others of his age. + +"Some five or six months ago," she said, "he had a dream or vision, and +saw you so plainly that he pointed you out to me, among other clergymen, +and said, 'Mother, that man is to be our minister one I saw him a little +time ago, in a dream, as plainly as I see him now; I know that is the +man.' We did not know who you were then, or where you came from, and +never saw you again till you came lately to this parish to be our +minister. + +"Last night," continued the mother, "after he returned from church, my +William was very unhappy and restless; and in the night I heard him +crying and praying aloud for mercy, in great distress. He told me this +morning, when I asked him about it, that he dreamt that the last day was +come, and that the world was on fire: and he began immediately to try to +pray, but could not; yet he went on trying till he heard some one laugh +out at him, and say, 'Ho! ho! my boy, you are too late!--ho! ho!--too +late! I have got you now---you are too late!' This frightened him so +much that he woke up, and getting out of bed, began on his knees to pray +in earnest for the Lord to have mercy on his soul." + +Being much interested in the young man, I begged her to send him to me +in the evening. She did so; and when he arrived I frankly told him what +I had heard about him, and particularly about his distress and prayer +the night before. + +"Your mother has prayed for you for years; and when you were a little +boy you prayed the Lord to save you: last night, again, you were +constrained to cry for mercy. These are all tokens of God's good +intentions and purposes towards you. Can you trust Him?" As he hesitated +(for so many like to feel something before they make the venture of +faith), I continued, "These tokens are better than feelings, for they +are facts and sure signs by which you may know that the Lord is calling +you." + +We may well understand that it was not long before the Lord, who had so +marvellously opened his eyes to see his sins, enabled him by the same +Spirit to see Jesus as His Saviour, and to rejoice in the forgiveness of +his sins. Then I asked him to sit down again, for I was curious to hear +about the dream or vision which he had had some months before he ever +saw me. + +"William," I said, "did you ever see me before I came to this parish?" + +"Yes," he replied, "I saw you once in a vision, more than six months +ago!" + +"Do you mind telling me about it?" + +After a little hesitation, he answered, "I often dream things. One night +I dreamt that I was walking on a wild barren common; there were many +bare places where people had cut turf, and there were prickly +furze-bushes about. I knew there were some did open mine-shafts there, +for people sometimes fell into them at night; but I was walking along +without thinking of danger, and was not afraid, though it was dark, and +I was alone. I don't know how long I went on like this, but next I found +I was walking with you. I could see you very plainly, just as if it had +not been dark, and you were talking about Jesus and His love to sinners. +I liked your words very much, and was so taken up with them that I do +not know when it became light; for now I could see the rough common, and +a path, and we were walking in it. Going along this path, we came to a +wall, and I could not go any further; but you walked on as if there were +no wall. Presently you stopped, and, turning to me, said, 'Why don't you +come on?' + +"I answered, 'I cannot.'" + +"Why not?" + +"Because there is a wall here." + +"No," you said, "there is no wall--it is an open door." + +"I was surprised at you saying that, for I feel the wall and see it." + +"What would you do if there was no wall? Do that. It is not a wall, but +a door," you said; "walk forward!" + +"When I ventured forward I found your were true. It was, indeed, an open +way, leading into a beautiful garden. I was very happy, and said, 'Whose +garden is this?' + +"You answered, 'It is the Lord's, and you are to dress it and work in +it." + +"Then I saw the Lord Himself. He came forward, and bidding me welcome, +said that you should teach me for three years. Then I awoke." + +From this extraordinary narration I gathered three things for myself. + +First, that God intended me to come to this place. +Secondly, that I was to labour here for three years. +Thirdly, that I was to teach the people not to wait for feelings, but to +act upon the Word of God. + +This last intimation was so clearly signified by William's dream, that +it came upon me with striking force. I had been speaking on this very +subject more than once, and had ventured so far as to say that I thought +this delusion about waiting for feelings was from the devil, to hinder +the work of God in the soul. It certainly did hinder us, very much; and, +moreover, it was most distressing to see people, who were manifestly +impressed under the power of a present God, waiting for Him; because +they did not feel some token, which they had set their minds upon. Day +by day souls were being given in the Church, and also in the cottage +meetings; so that I could not help seeing that the Lord had begun to use +me again. Some came to the meetings who had been awakened under the +ordinary preaching of the Gospel; some because others brought them; and +some out of curiosity. One of the latter cases I will mention. + +A married woman, N. R--, heard people talking of the work which was +going on. It seemed to her to be such a strange thing in connection with +a Church minister, that she came to a cottage meeting to judge for +herself, without the remotest idea of being converted. God's ways are +not as ours; while she was listening, the word reached her with power, +so that she was convicted and converted, and came out of that cottage a +rejoicing believer, lost in wonder, love and praise. She was indeed +strikingly and manifestly changed, and did not hide it. It was such a +joy and surprise to her that she could not help telling every one. Out +of the abundance of her heart her lips spoke to tell of the loving +kindness of the Lord. + + +CHAPTER 32 + +Bible Readings, 1858-59. + +The church (so-called) in which I now ministered had been built by +persons who intended to accommodate the largest number of people for the +smallest amount of money. It was scantily built, and almost square, with +galleries on three sides. On the remaining one there used to be a +pulpit, conspicuously placed in the middle of the wall. This important +portion of the edifice was now removed to one side, to make room for a +Communion table, the seats in front being arranged chancel-wise, facing +one another, for the choir. This was quite a damper to my ecclesiastical +tastes; besides being ugly in the extreme. + +I tried by putting ornamental scrolls over the windows, and by staining +the glass in them, to make some improvement. I also painted a diaper +pattern round the side walls; and upon the high blank wall behind the +Communion table exercised all the skill I possessed, but fear it was +somewhat in vain, though I laboured hard. The designs looked very well +on paper, but when displayed on the wall gave no satisfaction; so one +after another they disappeared, till my dissolving views, as they were +called, ended in a large floriated cross of gold, with a monogram +inter-twined in it, on a dark background. + +When once, however, the Lord began to bless the Word, and souls were +awakened, despite all anti-ecclesiastical appearances, my heart was +drawn towards the ugly place, and I loved it greatly. I could never have +believed that my former tastes and tendencies could have been so +completely changed as they were. + +In those days it was a strange thing to hold an after-meeting in a +church; it was never done, even by the few who had such meetings. +Therefore, I took the anxious ones and others to my own house for the +inquiry meeting, after the evening service. Having taken up the carpet +in the drawing-room, we fitted it up with chairs and forms to +accommodate ninety people, while half as many more occupied the hall, +and often numbers stood outside the windows. In this house it pleased +God to give us very many souls, who were brought in week by week for +several months. I believe every room in that house, like the rooms at +Baldhu Parsonage, was consecrated as the birth-place of one or more of +God's children. + +The number of those who attended the after-meeting became so great, that +we found it necessary to go to the large schoolroom. This place will +also be remembered in eternity, and many a soul will say of it, "I was +born there!" + +One night, when I returned home from a distant meeting, I was called to +see a person in Feat distress of soul. As I went down the street at +eleven o'clock, I was surprised to see lights in almost all the houses, +and what was more, to hear voices in urgent and importunate prayer, as +also the voice of thanks-giving. The whole street was alive, and indeed +there was a most "joyful noise" on every side. I was praying or +rejoicing in one house or another all through the night, which was one +never to be forgotten. + +A glorious work of salvation was going on without the extravagant noise +and excitement we used to have in former years. I was exceedingly +thankful for this also, and began next to consider what was to be done +with these new converts. Besides inviting them to the church services, +for which they needed no pressing, I urged them to read their Bibles at +home, bidding them to mark any passages where they wished for +explanation, that I might have something good and profitable to speak +about when I visited them. Then I invited them to Bible-classes; instead +of to experience meetings, which Cornish people rely upon so much. On +these occasions I endeavoured to instruct the people from God's Word, +and put Christ before them as the object of faith, hope, and love. After +prayer I encouraged them to ask questions, which made these gatherings +interesting and also instructive on the very points upon which they +required information. + +I found that these Bible-classes were a great blessing to those who +attended them, but more than all, perhaps, to myself; watering other +souls with the water of life I was more abundantly watered. The +questions of the people drew my attention to distinctions and +differences I had not noticed before, and helped to take off the +coloured glasses through which I had hitherto read the Word. + +I observed that the third, sixth, and twentieth chapters of St. John's +Gospel had been held and interpreted by me in a way that I now saw to be +altogether wrong. I had taken the first of these as bearing on Baptism, +the second on the Holy Communion, and the third on Priestly Absolution. + +I pondered much over these chapters, and marvelled how they could have +been so diverted from their original and obvious meaning; and, more +wonderful still, that countless millions in Christendom had so received +them for many generations. It was a bold thing, and seemingly +presumptuous to suppose that I was right and all Christendom wrong; but +I soon found that mine was no new discovery, and that if millions who +followed traditions without comparing them with the Bible, thought on +one side, there were also millions who did read their Bibles, and +thought on the other. + +It was perfectly clear, moreover, that one obvious motive or policy had +dictated the false application of the three chapters. It will be +observed that priest rule is established in them; for, according to this +teaching, no one can enter the kingdom of God 'without priestly +operation in baptism; no one abide or be fed in it without the same in +Holy Communion; nor any one receive absolution from sin, and final +release from hell to heaven, apart from sacerdotal action. + +On the other hand, I saw spiritual men, as sure as they were of their +own existence that their new birth took place, not at baptism, but at +their conversion. Therefore they were convinced that the third chapter +of St. John, in which our Lord's conversation with Nicodemus is +recorded, refers to that spiritual change which takes place at +conversion, and not to baptism, which was not even instituted for two or +three years afterwards (Matt. 28:19). + +Again, as to the sixth chapter. A spiritual man knows that he feeds +continually on the body and blood of Christ, it is the "Bread which came +down from heaven" for him. The Lord said, "He that eateth Me, even he +shall live by Me" (John 6:57). They know how they received spiritual +life, and also how it is continually maintained; therefore they could +not allow themselves to be carried away with such a palpable fiction as +transubstantiation, or any other doctrine kindred to it. The sixth +chapter does not refer to the Lord's supper, but the Lord's Supper +refers to the reality which is mentioned in it. + +Lastly, as to the twentieth chapter of St. John, on the authority of +which it is supposed and asserted that Christ left power with His Church +and priests to forgive sins. Of this we may say, He has not delegated +any such powers at all. When He gave commissions to His disciples (not +exclusively to the apostles), He said, "Lo, I am with you." Our power is +not imparted to us from Him, but is in Him. We have no power at all, but +in Him, and no grace but 'that which is in Christ Jesus (2 Tim. 2:1). It +is His presence, His real, promised presence by the Holy Ghost, which is +spiritual power; and this is given directly to individuals by God +Himself, and is not transmitted through other channels. + +The Lord Jesus, on His resurrection day, said to His disciples, in the +upper room--and, be it remembered, that all the eleven were not there +(and some women may have been)--"Peace be unto you. Receive ye the Holy +Ghost: Whose soever sins ye remit, 'they are remitted unto them; and +whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained" (John 20:23). + +Is it possible or reasonable to suppose that our Lord intended by these +words to constitute all that assembly absolving priests? The apostles +and early Christians (both men and women) never thought so, either +before or even after the day of Pentecost, when they were taught and led +by the Holy Ghost. The apostles did not exercise any so-called priestly +functions; they all preached the Gospel, and as ministers and witnesses, +declared, through Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins. Their testimony +was then, as such testimony will ever be, the savour of life or the +savour of death. It was thus they remitted and retained sins; and yet +not they, but God by them. + +While I was thus ruminating, a book came into my hands which interested +me greatly. This I read and re-read, and made an abstract of it. It was +the "Life of Adelaide Newton." What struck me in it so much was, to find +that this lady was able to hold spiritual communion with God by means of +a Bible only. Is it possible, I thought, to have such close communion +with God, apart from the Church and her ministrations? I do not hesitate +to say that this was the means, under God, of stripping off some remains +of my grave-clothes, and enabling me to walk in spiritual liberty, +instead of legal and sacramental bond age. + +Human reasoning would say, "What, then, is the use of ministry and +sacraments? Let us dispense with them, and be independent of them +altogether." This is no better than saying that we will continue in sin +that grace may abound; and the same answer which the apostle gives will +do for this also: "God forbid!" + +It does not follow, because some people make too much of ministry and +sacraments, making them absolutely necessary to salvation, that we +should, on the other hand, disregard them. There is another and happier +alternative, and that is, to realize they were made for us, not we for +them; therefore we should not be subject to them, but rather they should +be subject to us, and be used by us, not in order to obtain God's grace +and salvation, but to show that we have already done so. In our +obedience to God's ordinances, we acknowledge our allegiance to Him, and +our submission to His will. + +For fear that my people should go off, as too many do, into disregard of +the "means of grace," because sacramental people make too much of them, +I began a class for exposition and explanation of the Prayer-book. I +commenced by showing them that the Church of England is the Lord's +candlestick in this country, not the candle, and certainly not the +light, but the candlestick which the Lord set up here, possibly even as +'early as the days of the apostles, to show the true light, which is +Christ. And though, Romish corruptions supervened, it pleased God, at; +the time of the Reformation, to raise up men to deliver us from them, +and to restore true Bible teaching. + +Thus I endeavoured to show them, that the system of the Church of +England was one which should commend itself to their regard, as quite +agreeable to Scripture; and if it is not carried out according to its +intention, that is not the fault of the system, but rather of those who +administer it. Next, as to worship. + +The object of our assembling in the house of God is not, I said, so much +to hear sermons, or get instruction, as in Bible, or other classes, but +rather "to render thanks for the great benefits we have received at +God's hands, to set forth His most worthy praise, to hear His most holy +word, and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary as well +for the body as the soul." That worship is devotion towards God; it +consists more in giving than in getting. Some of the people were greatly +interested when I pointed out to them, that the order of our Service was +exactly the same as the order of theft spiritual experience, in +conviction, conversion, and Christian life. + +For example, the Morning Service begins with a sentence such as, "To the +Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled +against Him;" then comes the exhortation, which moves us to surrender +ourselves; then the confession, which is the act of surrender. +Immediately after this is declared the absolution and forgiveness of +sins, "to all who truly repent, and unfeignedly believe the Gospel." + +Then comes the Lord's Prayer, which leads us, at once, into the place of +children, accepted in the Beloved: then follow acts of thanksgiving":-- + +"Open Thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Thy praise." + +"Oh, come let us sing unto the Lord, let us heartily rejoice in the +strength of our salvation." + +These, and such-like explanations, helped to enlist the interest of the +people; and when, as before, they only used to endure the prayers, while +waiting for the sermon, now they engaged in them intelligently, and even +with more delight than in extempore prayer. + +As to the Communion Service I bade them notice that it begins with the +Lord's Prayer, in which we draw near to our Father, not as sinners, but +as His children; asking for a clean heart and for grace to live +according to His will; then, we approach the table, unworthy, indeed, to +take even the crumbs under it, but trusting in His mercy. We do not go +there to offer a sacrifice of Christ's body, but of our own as a +thanksgiving to God, offering and presenting ourselves--spirit, soul, +and body--a living sacrifice to His service. + +Every week we took some subject from the Prayer-book, noticing the +special seasons in their order, such as Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, +Lent, Easter, Ascension, and Whitsuntide, each with their respective +teaching. + +I was now happy in my work; but it did not, of course, go on as sweetly +as the theory sets it forth. We made, however, as straight a course as +we could, under contending winds and currents. The intelligent part of +my congregation, however interested they were in the work outside the +church and the worship within, nevertheless, had their misgivings and +doubts which they did not hide. They said, "This teaching seems all true +and scriptural; but what will become of us if you go away, and another +man comes who thinks otherwise? We have no security as in the chapels, +that conversion work will go on, and living souls be fed and encouraged. +Very few churches have such a work as the Lord is doing here!" + +This, indeed, was the sad part of working in the Church of England then. +Even still, there is much discouragement on this head; and too many +living souls, who would not willingly go, are driven away from their own +Church, to seek teaching in other communions; but they cannot take their +children and servants to witness priestly ceremonials, or to hear +sacramental, as opposed to spiritual teaching; neither can they +conscientiously give countenance to these things, by going themselves. + +However, I endeavoured to pacify the people by begging them to be +thankful for present privileges, and to trust God to lead them for the +future. + +It is an awful thing to see and know that people come for bread, and get +a stone; for fish, and they get a serpent; and for an egg, they are +offered a scorpion (Luke 11:11, 12). Exceedingly trying it is to be +frowned upon by clerical brethren in the presence of Dissenters, who, to +say the least, do know the difference between life and death. In one +church we have the service elaborately rendered, and the sermon is +nothing; in another the sermon is everything, and the service most +slovenly; and, too often, souls remain unawakened, and perishing on all +sides. + + +CHAPTER 33 + +The Work Continued, 1859. + +While I was at Hayle, I had so much to do among the people, and so many +meetings, that I seldom had leisure to go out for preaching elsewhere; +nor do I remember that I had many invitations to do so. Occasionally I +went to preach at Penzance, where a good work was steadily progressing +at St. Paul's Church; but otherwise. I seldom left my pulpit. + +Everything was now going on in a way which satisfied me, after all my +tossings to and fro. I was surrounded with a happy people, who were +living and working for the Lord. All the week they were busy, and also +on the watch for souls. On Sunday they came regularly to church, with an +intelligent idea of worship, and joined heartily in the services of the +day. At eight o'clock in the morning they assembled in large numbers for +the Holy Communion; then we had the usual morning and evening services +in the church, concluding with a prayer meeting. In the afternoon we had +something else. There was the Sunday school for some of our workers; +tract distribution for others: many went out to preach in the villages; +and others went with me either to the sands, the common, or on board +some ship, for an evangelistic service. The day of rest was not one of +inactivity, but of useful and happy occupation for the Lord. Many a +former Sabbath-breaker, now changed and rejoicing in God, was amongst +us, delighting in the Christian privilege of working for the Master. It +was a day that many of them looked forward to and spent with intense +delight; and on Monday evening we met to tell what we had seen and heard +of the Lord's goodness to ourselves and others. + +Whenever the good ship "Cornwall" was in harbour, it was expected there +would be a preaching on "board of her," under the well-known Bethel +flag. The mate of this vessel had been a terribly wicked man, and a most +daring blasphemer. It pleased God to convert his soul in a remarkable +manner; and now nothing would do but he must work for God. + +One Sunday, when he was at Cardiff, he heard that a vessel which had +left that port on the previous Friday morning had gone down with all +hands. He was greatly grieved about this; for one of the seamen of the +vessel was in former times a friend and companion of his. He had prayed +for his soul, but hitherto without any success, and this added to his +grief. To his amazement, he saw his friend standing on the quay. +"Hallo!" he said, "I am glad to see you. How is it you are here? Have +you heard that your vessel has gone down with all hands?" + +"Has she, indeed!" he exclaimed, bursting out into tears; "then it is +all my fault, for I let her go short-handed. After we set sail I had +words with the captain, so he dismissed me, and I came back in the pilot +boat. It is all my fault!" + +"This is the third time, then, that the Lord has given you your life," +said Sam. + +"You had better call on Him to have mercy on your soul." So saying, he +fell on his knees, and began to pray for him. His companion soon +followed, crying aloud for mercy. Though a crowd of people quickly +assembled and stood round, he took no heed, but continued his +supplication until he obtained mercy, and could praise God. + +Seeing that some of the by-standers were looking anxious, Sam invited +them on board his ship and had a meeting, at which he told them how the +Lord had saved his soul. Having received much encouragement that day, he +determined, if possible, that he would get a Bethel flag, and hold +services whenever and wherever he could. + +On his arrival at Hayle from Cardiff, he went at once to see the wife of +the owner of the ship, knowing that she took a great interest in the +welfare of sailors. He told her his plans, and made his request for a +Bethel flag, which this lady kindly and generously gave him permission +to get. + +On obtaining it, Sam came and asked me if I would preach at the first +hoisting of it. This I consented to do, and on the following Sunday +afternoon we had a large concourse of people on board, and also on the +quay alongside. I gave out the hymn:-- + +"O God of Bethel, by whose hand +Thy people still are fed." + +While I was giving it out, Sam ran his flag up to the masthead in the +shape of a ball. So it remained while we were singing; and during the +prayer which followed; and when I gave out my text (Gen. 28:19), "He +called the name of that place Bethel," Sam pulled the halyard, and the +flag, some eighteen or twenty feet long, 'flew out in all its grandeur. +Before the sermon was finished, some of the people began to cry for +mercy, and dear Sam was in an ecstasy of delight, and rejoiced aloud. +'Thus his flag was inaugurated with blessing from on high, and "Many is +the time since," said 3am, "when souls have been blessed under it, both +at Cardiff and at Hayle." + +I have said nothing about the infidels I had to work amongst when I +first came to this place. Some of them raged and opposed themselves +against us for a time, but one by one the ringleaders of this party were +brought to God, and eventually their club dwindled away. The history +concerning some I have already published in tracts; but there is one +case I feel I must insert here, for besides being a remarkable history, +there is much teaching in it. + +It is the story of a man who professed to be an infidel, and used to +speak very freely of things which he said he did not believe. For +instance, he boasted that he did not believe in God or the Bible, Christ +or devil, heaven or hell; though I must say he seemed to believe in +himself very considerably. It was very difficult to deal with a man who +took his stand upon nothing but negatives. He was well known among his +neighbours, dreaded by some and quite a mystery to others. He was +continually to be seen about with a gun, especially on Sundays, when he +was not ashamed to be thus desecrating God's holy day; on the contrary, +he rather prided himself on not "shifting" his working-day clothes, when +other people were dressed in their best. + +It was sad to see a man of such intelligence and capacity defying public +respect and opinion, and trampling upon every sense of right and +propriety. There is generally a reason, if we can only discover it, why +people outrage public opinion, and break out of the stream and path of +their fellow-men. + +One Sunday evening, however, after a day spent as usual, in idling about +and shooting little birds, our friend John was observed by a woman +standing outside a church, under the window nearest to the pulpit. He +stood there, listening very attentively to the sermon, till it was over; +and then, before the congregation could come out, he made off stealthily +and hastily, to escape observation. But passing near the woman who had +been watching him, she heard him say, with a look of distress on his +countenance, "It's no use--the devil's sure to have me! It doesn't +matter!" + +This woman told me on Monday morning what she had seen and heard; so I +determined to go at once and see the man. It was not his dinner-time +yet; but I thought I would have a little conversation with his wife +before he came home. To my surprise, however, I found him there. "What, +not working today, John?" I said. "What's the matter?" + +"I ain't very well," he answered. "I got no sleep last night; but I mean +to work in the afternoon, for all that," he continued, with an air of +determination and defiance. + +"What's the matter? Have you got anything on your mind?" I inquired. + +"Mind?" he repeated, as if in contempt at the thought. "There is not +much that ever troubles my mind." He then went on to give me a long +account of his bodily ailments. + +"But do you never think about your soul, John?" I asked; "never think +about another world and eternity?" + +"Soul and eternity! I don't believe in either the one or the other of +them!" + +"Not believe you have a soul! Come, John, I am sure you know better than +that." And I went on to speak of the joys of heaven and the bitter +torments of hell; of the love of God, who willeth not the death of the +sinner, but rather that he should turn and live; and then I proceeded to +tell him of the atonement which Jesus Christ finished on the cross, and +that now there is pardon for the vilest sinner through the efficacy of +the blood which has been shed once for all. + +"You know, John," I continued, "that I do not care to argue about these +things. There is mercy for you, if you will have it. We can bring water +to the horses, but we cannot make them drink. My business is to put the +way of pardon and salvation plainly before you; and after that, if you +reject it, it will be your own fault if you perish. Do you know how to +get forgiveness of sins?" + +He seemed very uneasy all the time I was speaking; and at length, after +a pause, he looked me in the face with a hardened expression, and said, +"There's no pardon for me--I know it." + +"That cannot be," I said; "I do not believe it." + +"No," he continued, "there's no pardon for me. I have known that for +fourteen years." I inwardly resolved to get this dreadful secret from +him, which was driving him to such evident desperation. A few days +afterwards an opportunity occurred, and I pressed upon him for his own +sake to tell me, or some one else, what had happened fourteen years ago; +and what special communication he had had with another world. + +"Oh," he said, "I never told anybody; but I would as soon tell you as +any one else. I had a dream once---do you ever have dreams? I have many +things told me in dreams." Then he was silent; but I was more curious +than ever now, and begged him to tell me what had happened. At last he +began, "I dreamt that I was walking along a broad smooth road, where +everything was most lovely; the weather was fine, and the scenery grand; +there were beautiful gardens, churches, chapels, theatres, houses, and +indeed everything you could think of. The people all seemed to be +delighting in it, and as though they were out for a holiday. Some were +walking, some singing, some dancing, and in one way or the other they +all appeared to be enjoying themselves beyond bounds. Seeing a workman +in a field close by, I called to him, and asked 'Where does this road +lead to?' He answered, 'To hell, straight on; you cannot miss!' 'Hell!' +I was surprised; 'Hell,' I said to myself, 'this is very different to +what I thought. Is the way to hell as pleasant as this? and are people +so unconcerned about it?' I was amazed; but though the man told me this +pleasant road led to hell, I did not stop; I went on and on, seemingly +as pleased as others were. However, it did not continue like this long, +for soon I came to a rough part, all up and down, where the atmosphere +was thick and sulphury, and it was almost dark. I did not like it, and +wished very much to get out of the place, but I could not. + +"Seeing some people in the distance, I went near to ask them the way +out. They were busy with long rakes raking cinders about on the dry +ground, and would not answer my urgent inquiries. As I approached them I +saw that they did not look like 'humans,' and that every now and then +fire appeared from under ground, over which they raked cinders to keep +it out of sight. They were so absorbed in their work that they did not +heed my question, though I pleaded more and more earnestly. At last, I +observed that one of them ceased from his strange work, and looked at +me; whereupon I addressed myself to him, begging him to show me the way +out of the place." John added, "If I ever prayed in my life I prayed +then; but he shook his head as if he pitied me, and said mournfully, +'The way you came in,' I replied, 'I cannot find it'; then again he +shook his head as if to say, 'You never will.' I was obliged to rise +from my knees, for the ground was so hot, and in my despair I ran I know +not whither. As I passed along in haste, I came to cracks in the ground +full of fire; I stepped over them one after another, and ran on till I +came to such a large chasm, that I could not jump over it. I turned and +went in another direction, leaping and running, in a state of terror, +till at last I came upon a sheet of glowing fire, into which I fell. +Then I awoke. For fourteen years this has followed me; there is no hope +for me!" + +By this time he became very much excited and agitated: seizing his cap +he ran out of the house, leaving his wife and myself in mute +astonishment at his strange tale. + +I went home pondering over the meaning of this dream, and was struck at +the amount of truth in it. I thought--How fair are the promises of the +world to begin with, and how delusive and disappointing they are at the +end! Of course, Satan, the god of this world, will make the way to hell +as bright and pleasing as he possibly can; and if people take outward +circumstances and pleasing prospects for indications of safety, they +wilfully lay themselves open to this deadly delusion. What a number +there are who know, or might know, that they are on the road to hell; +that they cannot miss; and yet they go on! And then how many people +there are who rake cinders; that is, when thoughts of death, or +judgment, or hell, obtrude themselves, how readily they cover them over +with hopes of escape, or some good intentions to be better, before it is +too late! How often parents do the same for their children, for they +cannot bear to think of their being lost forever; so they hope that +somehow they will be changed before they die! How often preachers rake +cinders also, by addressing their hearers as if they were all safe, and +only wanted a little teaching now and then; and it may be a little +warning occasionally! They cannot bear to tell them plainly that they +are lost now, and may be lost for ever, if they do not repent and +believe the Gospel; they would rather "be persuaded better things of +them, and things which accompany salvation," though they know for +certain that there are many unsaved ones in their congregation. They +entertain them with good hearty services and pleasing sermons, and then +let them go on their way to the solemn end, perfectly unconscious of any +danger. + +The Lord Jesus had no such false charity as this. He has told us plainly +that we are all perishing creatures, and that there is no hope for any +one of us while we are still on the broad road to ruin and in an +unchanged state; that we must be born again or we cannot see the kingdom +of God; that we must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, who died in our +stead on the cross, or perish for ever. Preachers therefore ought to be +more faithful, because life is so uncertain, and the warnings of God so +sure. + +Well did John dream that they did not look like human beings, who were +raking cinders to keep the fire out of sight. + +After some days I got light on the subject of this awful dream, and +hastened to tell John that I had found the way out of that fearful place +for him. He would not hear me for some time; but I told him, that the +prodigal son said, "I will arise and go to my Father, and say unto Him, +I have sinned." "You see, John," I continued, "he came back the way he +went, and he found pardon; that is the way for you." + +I then knelt down and prayed, and he knelt with me at his table. There +he remained for four hours, without speaking a word, until I was +thoroughly exhausted and obliged to go. No sooner had I gone, than +John's heart failed him, and he burst out crying aloud, and said to his +wife, "Oh, Mary, what shall I do? What shall I do?" + +"Take the book and read," she said, pushing the Bible along the table to +him. It was open at the fifteenth chapter of St. Luke, where he read the +words aloud, "I will arise and go to my Father and will say unto him, +Father, I have sinned." The spell was broken and the string of his +tongue loosed, so that he cried aloud for mercy. + +This was no unusual thing in one house or another; but in this +particular dwelling it was wonderful. His next-door neighbour, who had +often heard the sound of cursing and swearing there, but never the voice +of prayer, was so astonished, that he rose and came to the door to +assure himself of the astonishing fact. It was quite true; surely it was +John's own voice praying. So, lifting the latch, he went in and shouted, +"Glory to God!" The louder William shouted, the louder John cried for +mercy. When listening to his friend, who pointed him to "the Lamb of +God, who taketh away the sin of the world," he found that "There is life +for a look at the Crucified One;" and then they shouted and praised God +together. + +It was a joyful meeting when I saw him again, and thanked God with him +for the marvellous change which had been wrought in his soul. His very +face was altered; and instead of the restless and defiant glare there +used to be in his countenance, there was rest and cheerfulness. + +I pointed out to him, from that same portion of the Word of God which +had been blessed to his soul, that there was something more to be had +than the pardon that he had already received; that there was also the +best robe, the ring, the shoes, and the feast of rejoicing. The Father's +arms round the neck of the prodigal son is a token of forgiveness---the +robe, of righteousness divine which is imputed to us; the ring, of our +union with Christ; the shoes, of strength, even grace, with which we +walk; and the feast of rejoicing, the believer's privilege of joy and +thanksgiving. + +John's conversion was a remarkable event, and caused a great sensation; +crowds of his fellow-work-mates used to stand round him while he told +his wonderful story. "Oh," he said, "I used to say there was no hell, +when all the time I had it burning in my heart; but, glory be to God, I +am saved from hell to heaven!" + +He seldom prayed in public after this, without begging the Lord to loose +the string of the tongue; for, as he said (speaking from experience), +"so many are held captive by that dumb devil." He became a true +missionary for souls, and was very zealous in his testimony, especially +amongst his old companions, who worked in the same factory: he had the +joy of seeing many of them brought to the Lord. + +John seemed to realize unseen things in an unusually striking way. He +was a man who in his sleep had vivid dreams, and who in his waking hours +pondered much upon eternal realities, so that he spoke as one who lived +in sight of another world. + + +CHAPTER 34 + +The Dismissal, 1860-61 + +Of this work at Hayle was not "a success," in every sense of the word, I +do not yet know what success in parochial ministry is. If large +congregations may be counted; many communicants taken into reckoning; +with frequent services, and schools full of children--we certainly had +these. But above all, we had a continual ingathering of souls, who will +testify throughout eternity of the blessedness and reality of the work +of God during the time I was there. + +It so happened that as we approached the term of three years, of which I +had been premonished when I first came, that my dear friend, Mr. Aitken, +came to pay us a visit. He preached with more amazing power than ever. +His appeals were altogether overwhelming, and I do not wonder that the +people fell on their knees, as they did then and there, and cried aloud +for mercy. + +A newspaper reporter who came to hear this "great man" preach, was at +first observed to be writing very diligently; then he paused, and his +hand fell; then his pencil and book went from his grasp; presently he +himself fell on his knees, and began to cry for mercy. We were curious +afterwards to read his report. + +In it the grateful man acknowledged his indebtedness, and the blessing +he had received. As to the sermon, he likened it to one of the storms of +the great Atlantic. He said. "At such a time it is interesting to stand +on the shore and watch the sea, and to note the power of wind and waves +while the storm is raging. Even then it is sometimes terrific enough; +but how much more so when the wind veers and the mighty waves come +rolling in one after another, and breaking with tremendous force upon +the rocks on which we stand! So it was with this preacher. All eyes were +fixed on him when he gave out his text, and proceeded with his usual +introduction. Now and then he alarmed and roused us with the power of +his oratory; but when he turned to apply his subject to the consciences +of the people, he became irresistible. Immediately, there was heard on +all sides a cry for mercy. The stentorian voice of the preacher was +audible above all others as he went on to apply the Word with +unrelenting force, till very few hearts, however hard, remained +unbroken." + +This was a memorable day with us. Twice was the church filled and +emptied; and again a third time, in the evening, the people crowded in +and filled the place. Far into the night we wrought amongst the anxious +and broken-hearted, bidding them to look at the Crucified One and live. + +Mr. Aitken was not a man who raked cinders over the fire, but rather +raked them off and that in true kindness and love; but with terrible and +awful plainness he showed the danger of trifling with the Gospel, and +presuming upon God's love and forbearance. + +On Monday evening we invited the people to assemble in the large +schoolroom, which was filled to excess. Here I thought that the +schoolmaster's desk would have been demolished under the tremendous +energy and force, both mental and physical, of this preacher. At the +first sign of a breakdown among the people, the great, tall man, in his +long coat or cassock, came majestically striding out from behind the +desk. That was enough. A hard rough-looking sailor, who was sitting by, +with his eyes fixed on Mr. Aitken for a long time, fell on his knees and +began to roar aloud for mercy, and very many others followed his +example. + +I asked this man afterwards what it was that had had such an effect upon +him? "Oh," he replied, drawing his breath, as if he had scarcely yet +recovered from the shock, "that big man was bad enough the other side of +the desk, but when he came forth to the front, I didn't know what would +happen to me. I was obliged to cry out for mercy; I couldn't help it." + +The "big man," like the "Stormy Petrel," was just in his element in such +a scene. In the gladness and joy of his heart he rejoiced and shouted, +"Glory--glory be to God!" in a way which no one else could imitate or +follow. + +In the midst of this scene of confusion (as it must have appeared to an +outside observer, if such an one was there), sat a woman, looking on at +the people praying and praising God, when all at once Mr. Aitken turned +suddenly upon her and said, "And you, my sister!" Immediately she gave a +scream, and was down on her knees in a moment, crying for mercy as loud +as the loudest. + +If Cornish people like a noise, they certainly had it that evening to +their hearts' content. As I have said before, when there is a real power +of the Spirit present, the outpouring of the heart with noisy +demonstration is joyous to those who go with the stream, and are in +sympathy with it; but if those present stop to doubt the propriety of +such an outcry, and begin to rebuke those who make it, then I think the +answer that the Lord gave the Pharisees would still be applicable: "I +tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would +immediately cry out" (Luke 19:40). + +It was a great triumph, and the rams' horns did more execution in these +two days than the silver trumpets had done in as many yearn. + +The next day, as soon as Mr. Aitken had gone, the rector came to see me. +He appeared to be somewhat embarrassed at first, but after a little time +said (looking on the ground), "You know I am no revivalist. I do not +like all this uproar. I cannot have it." He then went on to say that he +wished me to leave, for though he had given a guarantee that if I +succeeded, he would build me a church and endow it, he could not do +anything of the kind now, for he did not consider my work any success +whatever--quite the contrary. "These converted people (as you call them) +are no churchmen!" + +I replied, that I had taken his voice as from God in inviting me, and I +supposed that I must take the same for my dismissal, if he really +intended it; but I urged upon him to consider the matter well before he +broke up the work which was going on there, for whatever he thought +about it, it was undoubtedly a work of God, though one certainly not +very common in churches. + +Without saying another word he took up his hat and went away. His +departure was so abrupt that I could not believe he intended me to +receive this as six months' notice. Consequently, I went on with my work +as usual, finding plenty to do, more especially after Mr. Aitken's +energetic visit. There were many new converts to add to our classes; +anxious ones to be guided and led to Christ; and broken-hearted and +despairing ones to be comforted and built up. The work under such a +preacher is by no means finished with his visit, however long or short +it may be; but, on the contrary, it may rather be said to begin there. + +After some months, the rector came again to remind me that he had given +me notice more than five months before, and that he wished me to leave +at the beginning of the year, as he had secured the services of a +clergyman whose views were in accordance with his own. I was much +grieved at this and could only lay it before the Lord, and beg of Him to +order all according to His will. + +The following morning, without any seeking on my part, I received an +invitation from Bath, asking me to come and take charge of the district +of St. Paul's, in the parish of Holy Trinity. Thus was the door shut +behind me, and another opened in front. This was so unmistakable, that I +could not but be satisfied, and acquiesce in the manifest will of God; +though, naturally, I felt great sorrow at having to leave the people and +the work I loved so well. I said nothing about my dismissal, but went on +with my various engagements as usual, though I had only a little more +than three weeks left me. + +By some means it appeared in the newspapers, that I was appointed to a +district in Bath, and another clergyman was named as my successor at St. +John's, Hayle. This fell as a great blow upon my people, who were both +grieved and angry; but I could not comfort them, any more than I could +help myself. + +The last Christmas-day came and went, a sad and sorrowful day it was; +then the last day of the year, and the last night. We held our +watch-night service as usual, thanking God for the mercies of the past, +and entered upon the new year with thanksgiving and prayer. + +Thus ended my work, and eventful sojourn at Hayle, a little more than +three years after it began. A very sorrowful trial it was, and one of +bitter disappointment; but the Lord's leading was clear, and I have +since proved that it was all right, though at the time it was most +mysterious and very dark. + +A few weeks before leaving Hayle, as I was sitting by the fire one wet +afternoon, my eyes fell on a little coloured picture on the +mantle-piece, which had been the companion of my journeys for all the +twenty years of which I have been writing. It was a quaint mediaeval +illustration of Moses lifting up the serpent in the wilderness, copied +from a valuable manuscript (Book of Prayers) in the Bodleian Library at +Oxford. + +As I looked at the engraving before me, I began to suspect for the first +time that there was a design in the arrangement of the figures, and that +it was really intended to convey some particular teaching. I took it in +my hand and studied it, when I observed that the cross or pole on which +the serpent was elevated stood in the centre, dividing two sets of +characters, and that there were serpents on one side, and none on the +other. + +Behind the figure of Moses, is a man standing with his arms crossed on +his breast, looking at the brazen serpent. He has evidently obtained +life and healing by a look. On the other side, I observed that there +were four kinds of persons represented, who were not doing as this +healed one did to obtain deliverance. + +First, there is one who is kneeling in front of the cross, but he is +looking towards Moses, and not at the serpent, and apparently confessing +to him as if he were a priest. + +Next behind him is one lying on his back, as if he was perfectly safe, +though he is evidently in the midst of danger; for a serpent may be seen +at his ear, possibly whispering "Peace, peace, when there is no peace." + +Still further back from the cross there is a man with a sad face doing a +work of mercy, binding up the wounds of a fellow-sufferer, and little +suspecting that he himself is involved in the same danger. + +Behind them all, on the background, is a valiant man who is doing battle +with the serpents, which may be seen rising against him in unabating +persistency. + +I observed that none of these men were looking at the brazen serpent as +they were commanded to do. I cannot describe how excited and interested +I became; for I saw in this illustration a picture of my own life. Here +was the way of salvation clearly set forth, and four ways which are not +the way of salvation, all of which I had tried and found unavailing. +This was the silent but speaking testimony of some unknown denizen of a +cloister, who lived in the beginning of the fifteenth century, in the +days of ignorance and superstition. But notwithstanding this darkness, +he was brought out into the marvellous light of the Gospel, and has left +this interesting record of his experience. + +Like him, I also had fought with serpents, for I began in my own +strength to combat with sin, and strove by my own resolutions to +overcome. From this, I went on to do good works, and works of mercy, in +the vain hope of thus obtaining the same for myself. Then, I relied in +the Church for salvation, as God's appointed ark of safety; but not +feeling secure, I took another step beyond, and sought forgiveness +through the power of the priest. This I found was as ineffectual as all +my previous efforts. At last, I was brought (by the Spirit of God) as a +wounded and dying sinner, to look at the Crucified One. Then (as I have +related), I found pardon and peace. Ever since it has been my joy and +privilege (like Moses pointing to the serpent) to cry, "Behold the Lamb +of God which taketh away the sin of the world" (John 1:29). "I have +determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified;" that is, +to tell only of the person and office of Jesus Christ our Lord. + +Nearly twenty years have elapsed since the period at which this book +closes,* and, during all that time I have verified the truth and reality +of the teaching and experience I have recorded in this volume. All these +years, with their months, weeks, and days have passed by, and have found +me continually rejoicing in the work of the Lord--often wearied in it, +but never of it--often tempted to falter, but al ways enabled to +persevere. I have seen many rise and start well, who have collapsed or +retired; many who have blazed like a meteor for a short time, and then +disappeared from the scene. + +__________________________ + +* I may, perhaps, at some future time, give an account of these latter +twenty years. +_______________________________ + + +May I here, in a few parting words to the reader, tell how it is that I +have been kept. I believe it is--first, Because I have never failed to +insist upon the absolute necessity of conversion, saying in the words of +the Master, "Marvel not, Ye must be born again" (John 3:7). Secondly, +Because I have preached nothing but what is taken from the Word, and +required nothing to be believed for Salvation and Edification, but what +can be proved thereby. Thirdly, because I have exhorted living souls +with purpose of heart to cleave unto the Lord; firmly believing that He +who died to save, rose again from the dead, and lives to keep His +people. + +When we are saved, we are debtors to God, to devote ourselves to His +service, and for His glory: besides this, we are debtors to men, to make +known to them the grace which we have received; and we, as faithful +stewards of God should be ever ready (and not ashamed) to preach the +Gospel, for, "It is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that +believeth" (Rom. 1:16). + +Brockville, Canada: The Standard Book Room. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of From Death into Life, by William Haslam + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FROM DEATH INTO LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 14578.txt or 14578.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/5/7/14578/ + +Produced by Michael Madden + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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