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diff --git a/14452-h/14452-h.htm b/14452-h/14452-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0bd5c4d --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/14452-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1980 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 102, April 16, 1892, by Various</title> + <style type="text/css"> + /*<![CDATA[*/ + + <!-- + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + p {text-align: justify;} + blockquote {text-align: justify;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + + hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + hr.full {width: 100%;} + html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;} + + .note, .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + + span.pagenum + {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + + .poem + {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + .poem p.i4 {margin-left: 2em;} + .poem p.i6 {margin-left: 3em;} + .poem p.i8 {margin-left: 4em;} + .poem p.i10 {margin-left: 5em;} + + .drama {margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + .drama p {margin: 1em 0em 0em 0em;; padding-left: 2em; text-indent: -2em;} + .drama p.i2 {margin: 0; margin-left: 1em;} + .drama p.i4 {margin: 0; margin-left: 2em;} + .drama p.i6 {margin: 0; margin-left: 3em;} + .drama p.i8 {margin: 0; margin-left: 4em;} + .drama p.i10 {margin: 0; margin-left: 5em;} + + .figure, .figcenter, .figright, .figleft + {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .figure img, .figcenter img, .figright img, .figleft img + {border: none;} + .figure p, .figcenter p, .figright p, .figleft p + {margin: 0; text-indent: 1em;} + .figcenter {margin: auto;} + .figright {float: right;} + .figleft {float: left;} + + .inline {border: none; vertical-align: middle;} + + p.author {text-align: right;} + + .side { float:right; + font-size: 75%; + width: 25%; + padding-left:10px; + border-left: dashed thin; + margin-left: 10px; + text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; + font-weight: bold; + font-style: italic;} + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + --> + /*]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14452 ***</div> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 102, +April 16, 1892, by Various, Edited by F. C. Burnand</h1> +<hr class="full" /> + <h1>PUNCH,<br /> + OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + + <h2>Vol. 102.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + + <h2>April 16, 1892.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page181" + id="page181"></a>[pg 181]</span> + + <h2>WRESTLING WITH WHISTLERS.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>A Reminiscence of a Recent Exhibition.</i>)</h4> + + <blockquote> + <p>SCENE—<i>The Goupil Gallery. Groups of more or + less puzzled Britons discovered, conscientiously + endeavouring to do justice to the Collection, having + realised that</i> Mr. WHISTLER's <i>work is now considered + entitled to serious consideration, but feeling themselves + unable to get beyond a timid tolerance. In addition to + these, there are</i> Frank Philistines <i>who are here with + a fixed intention of being funny</i>, Matrons <i>with a + strongly domesticated taste in Art</i>, Serious Elderly + Ladies, Literal Persons, &c., &c.</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="drama"> + <p><i>A Lady</i> (<i>after looking at a representation of + Old Battersea Bridge—in the tone of a person who + feels she is making a liberal concession</i>). Well, do you + know, I must say that <i>isn't</i> so bad. I shouldn't so + much mind having <i>that</i> in the room, should you?</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/181.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/181.png" + alt="A Brother Brush." /></a>A Brother Brush. + </div> + + <p><i>Her Companion</i> (<i>dubiously</i>). Well, I don't + know. He's put a steamer in. Should you think there + <i>were</i> steamers + in—a—(<i>vaguely</i>)—those days?</p> + + <p><i>First Lady</i> (<i>evidently considering</i> Mr. + WHISTLER <i>capable of any eccentricity</i>). Oh, I don't + suppose he would mind <i>that</i> much.</p> + + <p><i>First Literal Person</i> (<i>coming to the portrait + of</i> Miss ALEXANDER). + Well—(<i>plaintively</i>)—he <i>might</i> have + put a nicer expression on the child!</p> + + <p><i>Second Do. Do.</i> Yes—very unpleasing. + (<i>Refers to Catalogue</i>.) Oh, I see it says—"It + is simply a disagreeable presentment of a disagreeable + young lady."</p> + + <p><i>First Do. Do.</i> (<i>rejoicing that the painter has + vindicated himself this time</i>). Ah—that + <i>explains</i> it, then. Of course if he <i>meant</i> + it—!</p> + + <p><i>A Serious Elderly Lady.</i> There's one thing I must + say I <i>do</i> like, my dear, and that's the way he puts + down all the unfavourable criticisms on his pictures. So + straightforward and honest of him, <i>I</i> call it.</p> + + <p><i>Her Companion.</i> Yes, but I expect he can't help + seeing how right and sensible the critics are, you know. + Still—(<i>charitably</i>)—it shows he would do + better if he <i>could</i>!</p> + + <p><i>An Advanced Nephew</i> (<i>who is endeavouring to + convert a</i> Philistine Uncle <i>to the superiority of the + Modern School</i>). Now here, Uncle, look at this. Look at + the way the figure looms out of the canvas, look at the + learning in the simple sweep of the drapery, the + <i>drawing</i> of it, and the masterly grace of the + pose—you don't mean to tell me you don't call + <i>that</i> a magnificent portrait?</p> + + <p><i>His Uncle.</i> Who's it of? That's what <i>I</i> want + to know first.</p> + + <p><i>Nephew</i> (<i>coldly</i>). You will find it in the + Catalogue, no doubt—No. 41.</p> + + <p><i>Uncle</i> (<i>looking it up</i>). "<i>Arrangement in + Black. La Dame au Brodequin Jaune.</i>"—the lady in a + yellow something or other. Tchah! And not a word to tell + you who she's supposed to <i>be</i>? If I pay a shilling + for a Catalogue, I expect to find information in it. And + let me ask you—where's the interest in looking at a + portrait when you're not told who it's intended for?</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>The</i> Nephew, <i>not being prepared to answer + this difficult query, leads his relative gently up to a + "Nocturne in Opal and Silver." The</i> Uncle <i>conveys + his opinion of it by a loud and expressive + snort.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>First Prosaic Person</i> (<i>before No. 28</i>). + Valparaiso, is it? (<i>Hopefully.</i>) Well, come, I + <i>ought</i> to recognise this—I've <i>been</i> there + often enough. (<i>Inspecting it closely.</i>) + Ha—um!</p> + + <p><i>Second P.P.</i> (<i>with languid interest</i>). Is it + <i>like</i>?</p> + + <p><i>First P.P.</i> I could tell you better if he'd done + it by daylight. I can't make out this in the + front—looks to me like the top of a <i>house</i>, or + something. Don't remember <i>that</i>.</p> + + <p><i>Second P.P.</i> I think it's meant for a jetty, + landing-stage, or that sort of thing, and, when you look + <i>into</i> it, there's something that seems intended for + people—<i>most</i> extraordinary, isn't it?</p> + + <p><i>The Domesticated Matron</i> (<i>who is searching for + a picture with a subject to it</i>). There, CAROLINE, it's + evidently a <i>harbour</i>, you see, and ships, and they're + letting off fireworks—probably for a regatta, Does it + tell you what it is in the Catalogue?</p> + + <p><i>Caroline</i> (<i>after consulting it</i>). It only + says, "<i>A Nocturne in Blue and Gold</i>"—oh + yes—(<i>reading</i>)—"a splash and splutter of + brightness, on a black ground, to depict a display of + fireworks."</p> + + <p><i>Her Mother</i> (<i>gratified at her own + intelligence</i>). I thought it <i>must</i> be fireworks. + He seems quite <i>fond</i> of fireworks, doesn't he?</p> + + <p><i>First Facetious Philistine.</i> Hullo, what have we + got here? "<i>Crepuscule, in Flesh-colour and Green.</i>" + Very <i>like</i> one, too, daresay—when you know what + it is.</p> + + <p><i>Second F.P.</i> As far as I can make it out, a + Crepuscule's either a Harmony inside out, or a Symphony + upside down—it don't much matter.</p> + + <p><i>A Lady</i> (<i>who is laboriously trying to catch the + right spirit</i>). "<i>The Blue Wave at Biarritz</i>." Now + I <i>do</i> admire that. And what I like even better than + the Blue wave is this great Brown one breaking in the + foreground—so exactly <i>like</i> water, isn't it, + DICK?</p> + + <p><i>Dick</i> (<i>not a Whistlerite</i>). + Y—yes—just. Only it's a rock, you know.</p> + + <p><i>The Lady.</i> But if that's the way he <i>saw</i> it, + DICK!</p> + + <p><i>Dick.</i> Here's a thing! "<i>St. Mark's, + Venice</i>." I'll <i>trouble</i> you! What's he done with + the flagstaffs and the bronze horses and the pigeons? + <i>I</i> never saw the place look like that.</p> + + <p><i>The Lady.</i> Because it didn't happen to be + <i>foggy</i> while we were there, that's all.</p> + + <p><i>First Pros. Person.</i> Ah, there's old CARLYLE, you + see! Dear me, what a very badly fitting coat—see how + it bulges over his chest!</p> + + <p><i>Second P.P.</i> Yes. I daresay he buttoned the wrong + button—philosopher and all that sort o' thing, + y'know.</p> + + <p><i>First P.P.</i> (<i>sympathetically</i>). Well, I + <i>do</i> think WHISTLER might have <i>told</i> him of + it!</p> + + <h4>IN THE SECOND ROOM.</h4> + + <p><i>The Matron in Search of a Subject.</i> Ah, now, this + really is more <i>my</i> idea of a picture. Quite a pretty + <i>crétonne</i> those curtains, and there's a little girl + reading a book, and a looking-glass with reflections and + all, and a young lady in a riding-habit—just going + out for a ride.</p> + + <p><i>Caroline.</i> Yes. Mother. Or just come in from + one.</p> + + <p><i>Her Mother.</i> Do see what it's called. "<i>The + Morning Canter</i>" or "<i>Back from the + Row</i>"—something of that kind, I <i>expect</i> it + would be.</p> + + <p><i>Caroline.</i> All it says is, "<i>A Harmony in Green + and Rose</i>."</p> + + <p><i>The Mother</i> (<i>disappointed</i>). Now, why can't + he give it some <i>sensible</i> name, instead of taking + away all one's interest!</p> + + <p><i>The Phil. Uncle</i> (<i>whom a succession of + Symphonies and Harmonies has irritated to the verge of + fury</i>). Don't talk to me, Sir! Don't tell me any of + these things are pictures. Look at <i>this</i>—a + young woman in an outlandish dress sitting on the + floor—on the bare floor!—in a litter of + Japanese sketches! And he has the confounded impertinence + to call it a "<i>Caprice</i>"—a "<i>Caprice in Purple + and Gold</i>." <i>I</i>'d purple and gold him, Sir, if I + had <i>my</i> way! Where's the <i>sense</i> in such things? + What do they <i>teach</i> you? What <i>story</i> do they + tell? Where's the <i>human interest</i> in them? Depend + upon it, Sir, these things are rubbish—sheer rubbish, + according to all <i>my</i> notions of Art, and I think + you'll allow I <i>ought</i> to know something about it?</p> + + <p><i>His Nephew</i> (<i>provoked beyond prudence</i>). You + certainly ought to know more than <i>that</i>, my dear + Unc—Are you going?</p> + + <p><i>The Uncle</i> (<i>grimly</i>). Yes—to see my + Solicitor, Sir. (<i>To himself, savagely.</i>) That + confounded young prig will find he's paid dear enough for + his precious Whistlers—if I don't have a fit in the + cab!</p> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>He goes; the</i> Nephew <i>wonders whether his + attempt at proselytising was quite worth while.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>A Seriously Elderly Lady.</i> I've no <i>patience</i> + with the man. Look at GUTSTAVE DORÉ, now. I'm sure + <i>he</i> was a beautiful artist, if you <i>like</i>. Did + <i>he</i> go and call his "<i>Leaving the Prætorium</i>" a + "Symphony" or a "Harmony," or any nonsense of that kind? Of + course not—and yet look at the <i>difference</i>!</p> + + <p><i>An Impressionable Person</i> (<i>carried away by the + local influence—to the Man at the wicket, + blandly</i>). Could you kindly oblige me by exchanging this + "Note in Black and White" for an "Arrangement in Silver and + Gold"?</p> + </div> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>Finds himself cruelly misunderstood, and suspected + of frivolity.</i></p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <h3>PERSONAL PARAGRAPHS.</h3> + + <p>The Rev. No. 354, writing from Dartmoor, requests us to + inform his numerous friends in Bath and elsewhere that his + health is much improved by the bracing air, and that he is + occupied in revising for the press his course of Sermons to the + Young on the Moral Virtues. He is also anxious to inform his + creditors that his accounts are now completely in order. It is + a source of great comfort to him to reflect that he was able to + obtain considerable sums of money from his friends in Bath, + before he was obliged to leave that city, and that, with the + residue of this money, obtained so to speak from PETER, he will + now have the satisfaction of paying a farthing in the pound to + PAUL, in other words, to his creditors.</p> + + <p>Mrs. BRINVILLIERS was yesterday visited by her friends. Our + readers will be glad to know that she is quite well and has + escaped the influenza epidemic.</p> + + <p>Mr. ST. LEONARDS, with the consent of the Governor, takes + this opportunity of thanking the friends who have so kindly + condoled with him on the unavoidable interruption to his long + and arduous work in the service of his country. He hopes that + nothing will prevent him from displaying equal zeal in the + still more arduous labour, which, also for the benefit of his + country, he is now compelled to undertake for a certain + period.</p> + + <p>Miss DODGER is still unwell. The HOME SECRETARY has not yet + sent instructions for a special drawing-room to be fitted up in + the prison, nor has he, up till now, given any permission for + Miss DODGER's afternoon receptions, and five o'clock teas. It + is generally considered that the probability of his doing so, + without a Special Act of Parliament, is still very remote.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page182" + id="page182"></a>[pg 182]</span> + + <h2>BROKEN BONDS.</h2> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>["I learn from St. Petersburg, that, last Saturday, + conferences were begun between Russia and Germany on the + admission of the former to the new commercial + treaties."—<i>The Times Paris Correspondent on + "Russia and the Central Commercial League."</i>]</p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>La Belle France, the Forsaken One, + loquitur</i>:—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>What do I hear? Oh, do I hear aright,</p> + + <p class="i2">Over the garden wall?</p> + + <p>My latest love, my gallant Muscovite,</p> + + <p class="i2">Is this the end, this all?</p> + + <p>My heartbeats fast, a mist obscures my sight.</p> + + <p class="i2">Support me, or I fall!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>What can he mean? Whatever is she at?—</p> + + <p class="i2">Ah! well I know <i>her</i> game!</p> + + <p>GERMANIA is a vile coquette, a cat.</p> + + <p class="i2">Seducing my new flame</p> + + <p>With mercenary lures, and low at that!</p> + + <p class="i2">It is a cruel shame!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>But six short months ago and I to him</p> + + <p class="i2">Indeed seemed all in all.</p> + + <p>A stalwart lover, though <i>tant soit peu</i> + grim,</p> + + <p class="i2">I fancied him my thrall.</p> + + <p>And was it after all pretence, or whim?</p> + + <p class="i2">Oh, prospect, to appal!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I know my envious rivals said as + much,<a id="footnotetag1" + name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a></p> + + <p class="i2">But that I deemed their spite,</p> + + <p>Was't but my money he desired to clutch?</p> + + <p class="i2">I lent it—with delight!</p> + + <p>Were his mere venal vows? His bonds but such</p> + + <p class="i2">As SAMSON snapped at sight?</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>See how she purrs, false puss! She deems her + <i>dot</i></p> + + <p class="i2">May well out-glitter mine.</p> + + <p>And he! That slow seductive smile I know.</p> + + <p class="i2">At Cronstadt by the brine,</p> + + <p>To that dear dulcet voice, not long ago,</p> + + <p class="i2">My ears did I incline.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Ah! and those fine moustachios' conquering curl</p> + + <p class="i2">Subdued my maiden heart.</p> + + <p>For me those tendril-tips he'd twist and twirl,</p> + + <p class="i2">Looking so gay, so smart;</p> + + <p>And now he does it for another girl,</p> + + <p class="i2">And I—I stand apart.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Did I not give my heart to him—false + one!—</p> + + <p class="i2">And also—well, my "stocking"?</p> + + <p>Nor after her "commercial" charms he'll run,</p> + + <p class="i2">My modest beauties mocking.</p> + + <p>Hist! I believe of me they're making fun!</p> + + <p class="i2"><i>O Ciel</i>! 'tis simply shocking!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Hist! I can hear her, the sly cat. How fond</p> + + <p class="i2">Her glances bold and bright!</p> + + <p>Her bag is brimming, mine's a broken bond.</p> + + <p class="i2">I dreamed not me he'd slight</p> + + <p>For such mere bagman beauty, tamely blonde,</p> + + <p class="i2">But—ah! <i>was</i> BLOWITZ + right?</p> + </div> + </div> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>Left doubting.</i></p> + </blockquote> + + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <a id="footnote1" + name="footnote1"></a><b>Footnote 1:</b> + <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a> + + <p>"The success of a Russian Loan is not dearly purchased + by a little effusion, which, after all, commits Russia to + nothing." (See Cartoon "Turning the Tables," Sept. 26, + 1891.)</p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:80%;"> + <a href="images/182.png"><img width="80%" + src="images/182.png" + alt="A TERRIBLE THREAT." /></a> + + <h3>A TERRIBLE THREAT.</h3> + + <p><i>Impatient Old Gentleman</i> (<i>to Female Post-Office + Assistant, who is chatting pleasantly with an agreeable + acquaintance</i>). "LOOK HERE, YOUNG WOMAN, IF YOU DON'T + GIVE ME MY CHANGE, CONFOUND IT, I'M HANGED IF I DON'T GO + AWAY <i>WITHOUT IT</i>!"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>DR. VAUGHAN, of Salford, is to be the New Roman Catholic + Archbishop of Westminster. He is a bright cheerful-looking man + now, but it is to be feared that the extra toil and trouble of + London may soon give his features a Care-Vaughan + expression.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE BOUNDS OF SCIENCE.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>Fragment from a Fin de Monde Romance.</i>)</h4> + + <p>The Student had read many things, but he had not yet + considered the subject of Coal. He knew that it was expensive, + but he had not imagined that there was so little in the world. + But he at length obtained the requisite knowledge, and set to + work to put things to-rights. He called upon the Secretary of a + Transatlantic Ocean Steamer Company, and remonstrated with him + upon the waste with which the transactions of his institution + were conducted.</p> + + <p>"You carry your passengers too rapidly," he observed.</p> + + <p>"As how?" asked the Secretary.</p> + + <p>"Why I am given to understand that the power generated by + the coal gives each person on board your ships a rate of + progression night and day of twenty-four horses."</p> + + <p>"And, if it does—what then?"</p> + + <p>"Why, it is too much," returned the Student. "All the coal + in the world will be exhausted in something like four or five + hundred years; and so, while there is yet time, I had better go + somewhere where coal is a secondary consideration. What shall I + do?"</p> + + <p>And then the Secretary advised the Student to take a ticket + to the Centre of Africa—and the Student followed his + advice. But the day before the boat started, the Student once + more appeared.</p> + + <p>"I am afraid," said he, "I must ask you for the return of my + money. I find that it will be useless for me to go to the + Centre of Africa, as the Sun is about to cease giving + warmth."</p> + + <p>"Dear me!" cried the Secretary, "I was under the impression + that the Sun was timed to last about one hundred millions of + years?"</p> + + <p>"It may have been in the far distant past," returned the + Student, sadly, "but recent statistics fix the termination of + the Sun's existence at a much nearer date. There is no doubt + that the Sun will not last more than four millions of years, or + five millions at longest. Now give me my money!"</p> + + <p>And (of course) the bullion was promptly returned.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page183" + id="page183"></a>[pg 183]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/183.png"><img width="60%" + src="images/183.png" + alt="BROKEN BONDS." /></a> + + <h3>BROKEN BONDS.</h3><i>La France</i>. "IS IT + POSSIBLE!—BUT SIX MONTHS AGO!—AND NOW—" + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page184" + id="page184"></a>[pg 184]</span> + + <h2>LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS.</h2> + + <h3>No. XII.—TO PLAUSIBILITY.</h3> + + <p>DEAR OLD PLAU,</p> + + <p>Hear you have been seen about again with GENIALITY. Poor + GENIALITY, it may be admitted, is often something of a fool + when he is by himself, but when you and he begin to hunt in + couples, you are a deadly pair. I once knew a St. Bernard + dog—you will perceive the analogy by-and-by—who + lived on terms of friendship with a Skye terrier. By himself + <i>Rufus</i> was a mild and inoffensive giant. He adored the + house-cat, and used to help her, in a ponderous way, with the + care of her numerous family. Many a time have I seen him + placidly extended before a fire, while puss used his shaggy + body as a sleeping box, and once he was observed to help that + anxious tabby-mother with the toilet of her kittens by licking + them carefully all over. At every lick of <i>Rufus's</i> huge + prehensile tongue a kitten was lifted bodily into the air, + only, however, to descend washed and unharmed to the ground. + But out of doors, in the society of <i>Flick, Rufus's</i> whole + nature seemed to change. He became a demon-exterminator of + cats. Led on by his yelping little friend, he chased them + fiercely to their last retreats, and, if he caught them, + masticated them without mercy. Once too, on a morning that had + been appointed for a big covert-shoot, I noticed this strangely + assorted pair come into the breakfast-room panting and dirty. + They were not usually afoot before breakfast. What could their + condition mean? A flustered keeper arrived shortly afterwards + and explained everything. "Them two dogs o' yourn, Sir," he + said, "the big 'un and the little 'un, 'ave run all the coverts + through. There's not a pheasant left in 'em. They're sailin' + all over the country."</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:50%;"> + <a href="images/184.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/184.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <p>The truth was that <i>Flick</i> had organised the expedition + with extraordinary secrecy and cunning. He had persuaded + <i>Rufus</i> to join him, and the result was that we shot forty + pheasants instead of the three hundred on which we had + counted.</p> + + <p>Now, my dear PLAU, I merely record this little story, and + leave you to apply it. But I may remind you of incidents that + touch you more nearly. Do you remember GORTON? Many years ago + GORTON went to Oxford with a brilliant reputation. Every + triumph that the University could confer was held to be within + his grasp. His contemporaries looked upon him as a marvellous + being, who was destined to rise to the top of whatever tree he + felt disposed to climb. He was really a delightful fellow, + fresh, smiling, expansive, amusing, and his friends all + worshipped him. Of course he went in for the Hertford. His + success was certain; it was merely a question as to who should + be second. On the evening before the examination began, there + was a strange commotion in GORTON's College. GORTON, who was + supposed to have been reading hard, was found at about twelve + o'clock in the quad in his nightgown. He was on all fours, and + was engaged in eating grass and roaring out ribald snatches of + Latin songs in a shrill voice. When the porter approached him + he said he was a hippogriff, and that in another ten minutes he + intended to fly to Iffley and back in half a second. He was + carried up to bed raving horribly. On the following day he grew + calmer, and in a week he was himself again. But by that time, + of course, the examination was over, and DUBBIN was soon + afterwards announced as the successful competitor.</p> + + <p>Judging the past by what I know now, I cannot doubt that the + madness of GORTON was what patrons of the prize-ring call a + put-up job, for he never afterwards showed the smallest symptom + of lunacy. He had not worked sufficiently, and knew he must + fail. So he became temporarily insane, to avoid defeat and + maintain his reputation for scholarship. He left Oxford without + taking a degree, and owing money right and left—to + tradesmen, to his friends, to his tutor. Then he disappeared + for some years.</p> + + <p>Next he suddenly cropped up again in Ireland. A small + borough constituency had been suddenly declared vacant. GORTON + happened to be staying in the hotel. He promptly offered + himself as a candidate, and plunged with extraordinary vigour + into the contest. The way that man fooled a simple-hearted + Irish electorate was marvellous. They came to believe him to be + a millionnaire, a king of finance, a personage at whose nod + Statesmen trembled, a being who mingled with all that was + highest and best in the land. He cajoled them, he flattered + them, he talked them round his little finger, he rollicked with + them, opened golden vistas of promise to everyone of them, + smiled at their wives, defied the Lord Lieutenant, and was + elected by a crushing majority over a native pork-merchant who + had nothing but his straightforward honesty to commend him. Of + course there was a petition, and equally of course GORTON was + unseated. Then came the reckoning. GORTON had apparently + intimated that two of the great London political Clubs were so + warmly interested in his candidature as to have undertaken to + pay all his expenses. But when application was made to these + institutions, their secretaries professed a complete and + chilling ignorance of GORTON, and the deputation from + Ballywhacket, which had gone to London in search of gold, had + to return empty-handed to their native place, after wasting a + varied stock of full-flavoured Irish denunciation on the London + pavements. But GORTON was undaunted. He actually published an + address in which he lashed the hateful ingratitude of men who + betrayed their friends with golden words, and abandoned them + shamefully in the hour of defeat. But never, so he said, would + he abandon the betrayed electors of Ballywhacket. Others might + shuffle, and cheat and cozen, but he might be counted upon to + remain firm, faithful, and incorruptible amidst the seething + waves of political turpitude.</p> + + <p>Having issued this, he vanished again, and was heard of no + more for six or seven years. Then he gradually began to emerge + again. He was engaged in the completion of an immense work of + genealogical research, which was intended to cast an entirely + new light on many obscure incidents of English history. For + this he solicited encouragement—and subscriptions. He + enclosed with his appeals some specimen pages, which appeared + to promise marvels of industry and research. His preface was a + wonderful essay, of which a HAYWARD would scarcely have been + ashamed. In this way he gathered a large amount of money from + historical enthusiasts with more ardour than knowledge, and + from old friends who, knowing his real ability, believed that + he had at last determined to justify the opinions of him which + they had always held and expressed. It is unnecessary to add + that not another line was written. For several years ill health + was supposed to hinder him. We read piteous stories of his + struggles against the agonies of neuralgia and rheumatics, some + of us threw good money after bad in the effort to relieve the + imaginary sufferer; but to this day the proofs of PERKIN + WARBECK's absolute claim to the throne, and of JACK CADE's + indubitable royal descent remain in the scheming brain of + GORTON. Eventually the poor wretch did die in penury, but over + that part of his story I need not linger. The irony of fate + ordained that when he was actually in want he should wish to be + thought in possession of a large income.</p> + + <p>I knew a Clergyman once—at least I had every reason to + believe him to be a lawfully ordained Minister of the Church of + England. He was taken on as temporary Curate in a remote + district. His life, while he remained there, was exemplary. He + was untiring in good works; the poor adored him, the well-to-do + honoured him. We all thought him a pattern of unselfish and + almost primitive saintliness, and when he departed from us he + went with a silver inkstand, a dining-room clock and a purse of + sovereigns, subscribed for by the parish. The odour of his + sanctity had scarcely evaporated before we discovered, with + horror, that the man had never been ordained at all! He was an + impostor, masquerading under an assumed name, but while he was + with us he did good and lived a flawless life. These matters + puzzle me. Perhaps you, my dear PLAU, can explain.</p> + + <p class="author">Yours,<br /> + DIOGENES ROBINSON.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>A RATHER LARGE ORDER.—Amongst the many suggested plans + for housing the collection of pictures once offered by Mr. TATE + to the Nation, is a scheme for turning the Banqueting-hall at + Whitehall to a useful and good account. As a thoughtful Artist + has observed in this connection, "At this moment the spacious + building is tied round the necks of the Members of the United + Service Institution like a white elephant."</p> + <hr /> + + <p>A MONEY-LENDER said he had never been inside a Church since + the day he looked in at hymn-time, and heard them singing, + "With one per cent. let all the earth," and he didn't want to + hear anymore.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>TRYING TO THE TEMPER.—Mrs. R. says nothing can induce + her to eat cross buns, as they are sure to disagree with + her.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page185" + id="page185"></a>[pg 185]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:50%;"> + <a href="images/185-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/185-1.png" + alt="TRIALS AT THE LAW COURTS." /></a> + + <h3>TRIALS AT THE LAW COURTS.</h3>A TIMID BUT ERUDITE + "LEADER" IS URGED TO TAKE A "BAD OBJECTION." + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.</h2> + + <p>All who are interested in the theatrical celebrities of past + times will do well to read a brief, indeed, a too brief paper, + about DOROTHY JORDAN, written by FITZGERALD MOLLOY, for <i>The + English Illustrated Magazine</i> of this month. The Baron does + not remember if THACKERAY touched on the story of this talented + Actress in his Lectures on "<i>The Four Georges</i>;" but the + sad finish to the brilliant career of Mrs. JORDAN could hardly + have escaped the great Satirist as being one instance, among + many, illustrating the wise King's advice as to "not putting + your trust in Princes;" "or," for the matter of that, and in + fairness, it must be added, "in any child of man." Poor + DOROTHY, or DOLLY JORDAN! but now a Queen of "Puppets," and + now—thus, a mere rag-dolly. Ah, CLARENCE!—"False, + fleeting, perjured CLARENCE!" as SHAKSPEARE wrote of that other + Duke in Crookback'd RICHARD's time, for whom the "ifs" and + "ands" of life were resolved for ever in a final "butt."</p> + + <p>In the issue for 1891 of that most interesting yearly + Annual, <i>The Book-Worm</i>, for which the Baron, taking it up + now and again, blesses ELLIOT STOCK, of Paternoster Row, there + is a brief but interesting account of <i>The Annexed + Prayer-Book</i>, which, after some curious chances and changes, + was at last ordered to be photographed page by page, without + being removed from the custody of Black Rod. "By means of an + elaborate system of reflecting," the process of photographing + was carried on in the House of Lords. It is satisfactory to all + Book-worms to know that so important a work was not undertaken + without even more than the usual amount of reflection.</p> + + <p class="author">THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE HAMLET IN THE HAYMARKET.</h2> + + <p>With Mr. TREE's impersonation of <i>Hamlet</i> most London + playgoers are by this time acquainted, though not yet familiar. + It is a most interesting performance, especially to those who + remember the inauguration of startling new departures by + CHARLES FECHTER. The question for every fresh <i>Hamlet</i> + must always be, "How can I differentiate my <i>Hamlet</i> from + all previous <i>Hamlets</i>? What can I do that nobody has as + yet thought of doing?" "To be or not to be" <i>Hamlet</i>, + "that is the question"; whether 'tis better continuously to + suffer the tortures of uncertainty as to what you might have + achieved had you essayed the part, or to take up the study of + it, and ceasing to shiver on the bank, leave off your damnable + faces, and plunge in? Mr. TREE has plunged, and is going on + swimmingly.</p> + + <p>Mrs. TREE's <i>Ophelia</i> sane, is charming. Her distraught + <i>Ophelia</i> is very mad indeed, and her method in her + madness is excellent.</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/185-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/185-2.png" + alt="'I am thy Father's Ghost!'" /></a>"I am thy + Father's Ghost!" + </div> + + <p>There is a curious monotony in some of the stage-business. + Thus, <i>Ophelia</i> pauses in her exit and comes up quietly + behind the absent-minded Prince as if to play bo-peep with him: + then, later on, after his apparently brutal treatment of her, + <i>Hamlet</i> returns, and, while he is stooping and in tears, + he kisses her hair and runs away noiselessly as if this also + were another part of the same game. Then again, in the + Churchyard, after the scandalous brawling (brought about by the + stupid ignorance of a dunderheaded ecclesiastic, to whose + Bishop <i>Laertes</i> ought to have immediately reported him), + <i>Hamlet</i> returns to weep and throw flowers into the grave. + Now excellent "returns" are dear to the managerial heart, and + consoling to his pocket, when they attest the overflowing + attendance of "friends in front;" but when "returns" are on the + stage, their excellence may be questioned on the score of + monotony. Now, as to the Churchyard Scene, permit me to make a + suggestion:—the Second Gravedigger has been commissioned + by the First Gravedigger, with money down, to go to a + neighbouring publican of the name of YAUGHAN, pronounced Yogan + or Yawn,—probably the latter, on account either of his + opening his mouth wide, or of his being a sleepy-headed + fellow,—and fetch a stoop of liquor. Now, when all the + turmoil is over, the remaining gravedigger would at once set to + work, as in fact he does in this scene at the Haymarket; but + here he just shovels a handful of mould into the grave, and + then, without rhyme or reason (with both of which he has been + plentifully supplied by SHAKSPEARE), suddenly away he goes, + merely to allow for the "business" of <i>Hamlet's</i> + re-entrance. But why shouldn't there be here, prior to the + return of <i>Hamlet</i>, a re-entrance of the Second + Gravedigger, as if coming back from friend YAUGHAN's with the + pot of ale? The sight of this would attract First Gravedigger, + and take the thirsty soul most readily from his work to discuss + the refreshment in some shady nook. Then by all means let + <i>Hamlet</i> return to pour out his grief; and on this picture + ought the Curtain effectively descend.</p> + + <p>A novel point introduced by Mr. TREE is that his + <i>Hamlet</i>, entertaining an affectionate remembrance of the + late YORICK, assumes a friendly and patronising air towards + YORICK's successor, a Court Fool, apparently so youthful that + he may still be supposed to be learning his business. So when + His Royal Highness <i>Hamlet</i> has what he considers "a good + thing" to say, Mr. TREE places the novice in jesting near + himself, and pointedly speaks at him; as <i>e.g.</i>, when, in + reply to the King's inquiry after his health, he tells him that + he "eats air promise-crammed," adding, with a sly look at the + Court Fool, "you cannot feed capons so." Whereat the Fool, put + into a difficult position, through his fear of offending the + Prince by <i>not</i> laughing, or angering the King (his + employer) by laughing, has to acknowledge the Prince's + witticism with a deferential, but somewhat deprecatory, + snigger.</p> + + <p>Again, when <i>Hamlet</i> is "going to have a lark" with old + <i>Polonius</i>—a proceeding in exquisitely bad taste by + the way—Mr. TREE's <i>Hamlet</i> attracts the young Court + Jester's attention to his forthcoming novelty. Now this time, + as the repartee is about as rude a thing as any vulgar cad of + an 'ARRY might have uttered, the professional Jester, who + evidently does not owe his appointment to the Lord + Chamberlain's favour, and is exempt from his jurisdiction, + grins all over his countenance, and hops away to explain the + jest to some of the courtiers, while <i>Hamlet</i> himself, to + judge by his smiling countenance, is clearly very much pleased + with his own performance in showing a Jester how the fool + should be played. And this notion is consistent with the + character of a Prince who takes upon himself to lecture the + Actors on their own art. There is no subtler touch in + SHAKSPEARE's irony than his putting these instructions to + players in the mouth of a noble amateur. Of the revival, as a + whole, one may truthfully say, <i>Ça donne à penser</i>, and, + indeed, the study of <i>Hamlet</i> is inexhaustible.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>WITH THEIR EASTER EGGS.</h3> + + <p><i>The Emp-r-r of G-rm-ny.</i>—Presentation copy of + the light and leading satirical English Paper.</p> + + <p><i>The Cz-r of R-ss-a.</i>—Letter of regret from + President C-RN-T.</p> + + <p><i>The Pr-s-d-nt of the Fr-nch + R-p-bl-c.</i>—Secretly-obtained copy of proposed treaty + for a Quadruple Alliance.</p> + + <p><i>The K-ng of It-ly.</i>—Scheme for a <i>modus + vivendi</i>.</p> + + <p><i>The P-pe.</i>—Duplicate copy of ditto.</p> + + <p><i>Ch-nc-ll-r C-pr-vi.</i>—Permit for leave of + absence.</p> + + <p><i>Pr-nce V-n B-sm-rck.</i>—A song, "<i>The Return of + the Pilot</i>."</p> + + <p><i>The M-rq-s of S-l-sb-ry.</i>—Date of the General + Election.</p> + + <p><i>The Ch-nc-ll-r of the Exch-q-r.</i>—Comments on the + Budget.</p> + + <p><i>F-rst L-rd of the Tr-s-ry.</i>—New rules for the + game of Golf.</p> + + <p><i>Rt. Hon. W.E. Gl-dst-ne.</i>—Set of Diaries for the + next twenty years.</p> + + <p><i>The P-t L-r-te.</i>—The Order of "The + Foresters."</p> + + <p><i>The Oxf-rd E-ght.</i>—The Blue Riband of the + Thames.</p> + + <p><i>S-r A-g-st-s Dr-r-l-n-s.</i>—A month's + well-deserved rest.</p> + + <p><i>N-b-dy in P-rt-c-l-r.</i>—A legacy of £100,000.</p> + + <p><i>Ev-ryb-dy in G-n-r-l.</i>—Rates and taxes.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page186" + id="page186"></a>[pg 186]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/186.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/186.png" + alt="SO FRIVOLOUS!" /></a> + + <h3>SO FRIVOLOUS!</h3> + + <p><i>Wife</i>. "SOLOMON, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH + YOU."</p> + + <p><i>Solomon</i> (<i>flippantly</i>). "WITH PLEASURE, MY + DEAR, SO LONG AS IT'S A FUNNY BONE!"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE DYNAMITE DRAGON.</h2> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>A dragon! Faugh! that foul and writhing Worm</p> + + <p>Seems scarcely worthy of the ancient term</p> + + <p>That fills old myth, and typifies the fight</p> + + <p>'Twixt wrathful evil and the force of right.</p> + + <p>The dragons of the prime, fierce saurian things</p> + + <p>With ogre gorges and with harpy wings,</p> + + <p>Fitted their hour; the haunts that gave them + birth,</p> + + <p>The semi-chaos of the early earth,</p> + + <p>The slime, the earthquake shock, the whelming + flood,</p> + + <p>Made battle ground for the colossal brood.</p> + + <p>But now, when centuries of love and light</p> + + <p>Have warmed and brightened man's old home; when + might</p> + + <p>Is not all sinister, nor all desire</p> + + <p>Fierce appetite, that all-devouring fire,—</p> + + <p>When life is not alone a wasting scourge,</p> + + <p>But from the swamps of soulless strife emerge</p> + + <p>Some Pisgah peaks of promise where the dove</p> + + <p>Finds footing, high the whirling gulfs + above,—</p> + + <p>Now the intrusion of this loathly shape,</p> + + <p>With pestilence-breathing jaws that blackly gape</p> + + <p>For indiscriminate prey, is sure a thing</p> + + <p>To set celestial guards once more a-wing;</p> + + <p>To fire a new St. Michael or St. George</p> + + <p>With the bright death to cleave the monster's + gorge,</p> + + <p>And trample out the Laidly Worm's last breath</p> + + <p>In the convulsions of reluctant death.</p> + + <p>A crawling, craven, sneaking, snaking brute;</p> + + <p>Purposeless spite, and hatred absolute,</p> + + <p>In hideous shape incarnate! Venomed Gad</p> + + <p>In Civilisation's path; malignant-mad,</p> + + <p>And blindly biting; raising an asp-neck</p> + + <p>In Beauty's foot-tracks, and prepared to wreck</p> + + <p>The ordered work of ages in a day,</p> + + <p>To raze and shatter, to abase and slay.</p> + + <p>Blind as the earthquake, headlong as the storm,</p> + + <p>Yet in such hideous subter-human form,</p> + + <p>Vulgar as venomous! Dragon indeed,</p> + + <p>And dangerous, but with no soul save greed,</p> + + <p>No aim save chaos. Bloody, yet so blind,</p> + + <p>The common enemy of humankind;</p> + + <p>Whose age-stored works and ways it yearns to + blast,</p> + + <p>To smite to ruined fragments, and to cast</p> + + <p>Prone—as itself is prone—in common + dust.</p> + + <p>The Beautiful, the Wise, the Strong, the Just,</p> + + <p>All fruit of labour, and all spoil of thought,</p> + + <p>All that co-operant Man hath won or wrought,</p> + + <p>All that the heart has loved, the mind has + taught</p> + + <p>Through the long generations, hoarded gains</p> + + <p>Of plastic fancies, and of potent brains;</p> + + <p>Thrones, Temples, Marts, Art's alcoves, Learning's + domes,</p> + + <p>Patrician palaces, and <i>bourgeois</i> homes.</p> + + <p>Down, down!—to glut <i>its</i> spleen, the + paltry thing,</p> + + <p>Impotent, save to lurk, and coil, and spring,</p> + + <p>But powerful as the poison-drop, once sped,</p> + + <p>That creeps, corrupts, and leaves its + victim—dead!</p> + + <p>As the asp's fang could turn to pulseless clay</p> + + <p>The Pride of Egypt, so this Worm can slay</p> + + <p>If left long covert for its crawling course.</p> + + <p>Up, up against it every virile force,</p> + + <p>And every valorous virtue! By its hiss</p> + + <p>'Tis known <i>hostis humani generis</i>,</p> + + <p>Let Civilisation snatch St. Michael's sword,</p> + + <p>And slay this Dragon, of a tribe abhorred</p> + + <p>The meanest and the most malignant Worm</p> + + <p>Which can spill venom, but, attacked, will + squirm,</p> + + <p>Shrink, splutter, vanish. With no noble end,</p> + + <p>All men must be its foes, blind hatred its sole + friend!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>BREAKING.</h3> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>[In his spot-barred Billiard-Match with H. COLES, PEALL + made breaks of 108, 133, 64, 52, 78, 77, and 80.]</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Break, break, break</p> + + <p class="i2">On thy Billiard-board, oh P.!</p> + + <p>As easy as cutting butter</p> + + <p class="i2">The business seems to thee.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>"Oh, well that the spot is barred,"</p> + + <p class="i2">The knowing ones glibly say,</p> + + <p>"Or we might get no chance</p> + + <p class="i2">Of a COLES' strike here to-day."</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>And the marvellous game goes on.</p> + + <p class="i2">Till the watchers have their fill;</p> + + <p>And one drops off, and dreams</p> + + <p class="i2">He's taken the "Red" for a pill.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Break, break, break!</p> + + <p class="i2">And there's one that will broken be;</p> + + <p>For the Pony I put on the other man</p> + + <p class="i2">Will never come back to me.</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>SUGGESTION FROM "CHILDE HAROLD" AT OLYMPIA.—"I stood + in Venice on the Bridge of Size And paint," &c., + &c.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page187" + id="page187"></a>[pg 187]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/187.png"><img width="50%" + src="images/187.png" + alt="THE DYNAMITE DRAGON." /></a> + + <h3>THE DYNAMITE DRAGON.</h3> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page189" + id="page189"></a>[pg 189]</span> + + <h2>ON THE FIRST GREEN CHAIR.</h2> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:35%;"> + <a href="images/189-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/189-1.png" + alt="Thursday, April 7. Hyde Park. Mid-day." /> + </a>Thursday, April 7. Hyde Park. Mid-day. + </div> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Reach it, attendant; wicked winter flies off:</p> + + <p class="i2">Place it with pomp for me to sit and + stare</p> + + <p>Up at the sun who banquets us with cries of</p> + + <p class="i4">"Chair!"</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Long have we pined in darkness most uncanny:</p> + + <p class="i2">Now to Hyde Park return its gauze of + gold,</p> + + <p>Jewels of crocus and enhancements mani-</p> + + <p class="i4">-fold.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Welcome, delicious zephyr, blithe new-comer,</p> + + <p class="i2">Urging to purchase patent-leather + boots,</p> + + <p>Hats of a virgin glossiness, and summer</p> + + <p class="i4">suits.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Welcome, attire of carnival-carousers,</p> + + <p class="i2">Suddenly bursting on the 'wildered + view.</p> + + <p>Mine—I don't mind confessing it—are + trousers</p> + + <p class="i4">new,</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>These that, serene in atmosphere serenest,</p> + + <p class="i2">Droop o'er a Chair, whose emerald taunts + the trees—</p> + + <p>Green are the leaves, and greener than the + greenest</p> + + <p class="i4">Peas!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>All things must end: to-morrow may be icy:</p> + + <p class="i2">Wither too soon the joys that freshest + are;</p> + + <p>End will sweet summer reveries, and my ci-</p> + + <p class="i4">gar.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Ends too that master-piece of Messrs. HYAM</p> + + <p class="i2">Bashfully hinted at in line sixteen;</p> + + <p>Green was the Chair I sat on—and now <i>I</i> + am</p> + + <p class="i4">green!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>"ALL'S (FAIRLY) WELL."</h2> + + <blockquote> + <p>SCENE—<i>The War Office. Sanctum of the</i> + COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF. H.R.H. <i>is seated on a chair. To him + enter</i> (<i>after being properly complimented by a couple + of Grenadiers on guard over an area</i>) INSPECTOR-GENERAL + OF EVERYTHING, Field-Marshal PUNCH.</p> + </blockquote> + + <div class="drama"> + <p><i>Inspector-General</i> (<i>sharply</i>). Well, Sir! + (COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF <i>comes briskly to attention</i>.) No, + your Royal Highness, you can be seated. I don't want to + disturb you—much! And now, how is the Easter Review + getting on?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. First-rate, Sir. Excellent, Sir! + Couldn't be better, Sir!</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> (<i>dryly</i>). I have heard those + phrases before, your Royal Highness—especially + "couldn't be better"—and found subsequently that + things ought to have been better, very much better, + Sir.</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i> (<i>anxiously</i>). But I assure + you, Sir, that this time we are doing our level best. Why, + Sir, fancy, we are going to have thirty thousand men under + arms! Think of that, Sir—thirty thousand men!</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> About the numbers of a German Brigade, + or is it a Regiment?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i> (<i>with a forced laugh</i>). Come, + Sir, I see you are joking! Yes, thirty thousand men, and + some of them are going down fully equipped. Why, for + instance, the Artists will march the whole way to the scene + of the operations with their own regimental transport! And + so will the 1st London Engineers. Think of that, Sir!</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> And how much have you gentlemen here + had to do with that, Sir? Why, the Volunteers would have + been left in a state of utter unpreparedness had not the + public taken the initiative. What did the War Office and + the Horse Guards do towards giving them their kit?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. Well, it is all right now, Sir. + And we are going to have a splendid time of it. The idea is + that a hostile force has landed at Deal during the early + hours of Monday morning, and—</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> (<i>interrupting</i>). Yes, I have + read all that in the papers. But come, tell me who is to + command?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in.-Chief</i> (<i>rather taken aback</i>). Well, + Sir, the customary crew. I suppose BILLY SEYMOUR.</p> + + <p><i>Insp. Gen.</i> (<i>severely</i>). I presume, your + Royal Highness, that you refer to General Lord WILLIAM + SEYMOUR, who will be in command at Dover.</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i> (<i>abashed</i>). Certainly, Sir. + You are a little particular to-day, Sir.</p> + + <p><i>Insp. Gen.</i> (<i>gravely</i>). I am always + particular—very particular—when I have to deal + with the Volunteers. Well, Sir, General Lord WILLIAM + SEYMOUR, commands at Dover—proceed, Sir; pray + proceed.</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. Then, Sir, there's General + GOODENOUGH at Maidstone, and General DAWSON-SCOTT at + Chatham.</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> Is he a Volunteer?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i> (<i>laughing</i>). Why no, Sir; of + course not, Sir. Why he's in the Royal Engineers. Although + in my Crimean days we never considered Sappers soldiers. We + used to say that—</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> (<i>severely</i>). No levity, Sir. And + pray who else is to be in command?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. Well, Sir, I shall be present + myself on Saturday, and then take the March-past on + Monday.</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> Yes; but how about the Volunteers? + What about them? Why don't you let the officers command + their own men?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. Why, Sir, you see in time of + war—</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> (<i>interrupting</i>). You would find + Volunteer officers as capable as any others. Your Royal + Highness has no doubt studied the lessons taught by the war + between the Northerners and the Southerners in America?</p> + + <p><i>Com.-in-Chief</i>. I have glanced at the subject, + Sir, at the Royal United Service Institute. And may I + venture to hope that you are satisfied, Sir?</p> + + <p><i>Insp.-Gen.</i> (<i>after a pause</i>). Well, yes, I + think you are doing better. But, in future, give a share of + the command to Volunteers <i>pur et simple</i>. And now + just jot down what I have further to say to you.</p> + </div> + + <blockquote> + <p>[<i>Scene closes in upon the</i> COM.-IN-CHIEF <i>taking + notes.</i></p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + + <h2>CONNECTED WITH THE PRESS.</h2> + + <p>At a recent meeting of the Institute of Journalists, it was + proposed that future candidates for membership should undergo + an examination to test their qualifications before election. + Should the proposal be adopted, no doubt some such paper as the + following will be set to those desirous of obtaining the right + of adding "M.I.J." to their names.</p> + + <p>1. Would you as a Reporter venture to use such expressions + as "devouring element" or "destructive fluid" in sending in + "flimsy" to a London Daily Paper? State when you would consider + yourself entitled to describe yourself "a Special."</p> + + <p>2. What are the rights of a Journalist at a free luncheon? + If an Editor finds himself present, should he return thanks for + the Press himself, or leave that duty in the hands of a + bumptious Reporter.</p> + + <p>3. Write an essay upon the Law of Libel, and say when a + paper, (1) should apologise, (2) fight it out, and, (3) settle + it out of Court.</p> + + <p>4. Define the difference between a "comment of public + importance" and a "puffing advertisement."</p> + + <p>5. What is "log-rolling?" Give examples to illustrate the + meaning of the word.</p> + + <p>6. Show, concisely, why the World could not revolve without + the Press, and why the Press would cease to be without your own + personal assistance.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>UPON JULIA'S COAT.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>After Herrick.</i>)</h4> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:22%;"> + <a href="images/189-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/189-2.png" + alt="LENTEN FASHION." /></a> + + <h4>LENTEN FASHION.</h4>Sack-Coat, nearest approach to + Sackcloth, for Lent. + </div> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Whenas my JULIA wears a sack,</p> + + <p>That hides the outline of her back,</p> + + <p>I cry, in sore distress, "Alack!"</p> + + <p>She showed a dainty waist when dressed</p> + + <p>In jacket; true, the size confessed</p> + + <p>That whalebone had its shape compressed.</p> + + <p>Still was her form sweet as her face,</p> + + <p>But now what change has taken place!</p> + + <p>This "sack coat" hides all maiden grace.</p> + + <p>Although men's clothes are always vile,</p> + + <p>The coat, the trousers and the "tile"!</p> + + <p>Some sense still lingers in each style.</p> + + <p>But women's garments should be fair,</p> + + <p>All graceful, gay and debonair.</p> + + <p>And if they lack good sense, why care?</p> + + <p>O JULIA, cease to wear a sack,</p> + + <p>A garb all artists should attack,</p> + + <p>In which both sense and beauty lack!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>DRINKS AND DRAMAS.</h3> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>("HENRY THE EIGHTH is a Soda-water Play."—<i>Mr. + Irving's Evidence before the Committee</i>.)</p> + </blockquote> + + <p>Mr. Irving has now completed his list of refreshments suited + to performances. They can be obtained, like Mr. GOSCHEN's + reserve of shillings, "on application," which does not mean + gratis.</p> + + <blockquote> + <p><i>Macbeth</i>.—Very fine old Scotch.</p> + + <p><i>Hamlet</i>.—Bitters.</p> + + <p><i>Romeo and Juliet</i>.—Rum and Milk.</p> + + <p><i>Othello</i>.—Dublin Stout.</p> + + <p><i>Merchant of Venice</i>.—Port(1 A.).</p> + + <p><i>Charles the First</i>.—Bottled Ale (with a fine + head).</p> + + <p><i>The Cup</i>.—Tea.</p> + + <p><i>Faust</i>.—Ginger Brandy.</p> + + <p><i>Much Ado About Nothing</i>.—Benedictine.</p> + + <p><i>Corsican Brothers</i>.—Half-and-half.</p> + </blockquote> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page190" + id="page190"></a>[pg 190]</span> + + <h2>A BERLIN CITIZEN'S DIARY.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>Translated by Our First Standard Board + Scholar.</i>)</h4> + + <blockquote class="note"> + <p>["It is stated that the soldier who, on Friday last, + fired at and killed a man who threatened him while on + sentry duty before the barracks in the Wrangel-strasse, + Berlin, has been promoted to the rank of corporal, for what + is described as his correct conduct on the occasion. The + passerby, who was wounded at the same time, still lies in a + precarious condition."—<i>St. James's Gazette</i>, + April 6.]</p> + </blockquote> + + <p><i>April 1.</i>—I go walking near barracks; see man + looking quietly at building. Suddenly fires the sentry with his + long distance rifle, so that the straight onward through the + harmless onlooker's heart and through my never sufficiently to + be regretted right arm passing bullet in the remote distance a + child kills. Long live our good Emperor and his glorious army! + Carried home insensible.</p> + + <p><i>June 1.</i>—At last am I from arm-amputation + recovered and walk again out. The sentry was for his on the + first April quite courageous act to be Sergeant promoted. Here + comes a Sergeant! He is it! Look curiously at him whereupon he + me in the leg shoots. Long live our Emperor! Again carried + home.</p> + + <p><i>Sept. 1.</i>—Again out, in invalid chair, meet same + man, now Lieutenant. I murmur sadly, "Ah, my friend, I gave you + a leg-up indeed!" Then he, saying that I him insulted have, my + remaining arm with his sword off cuts. I respect our Emperor, + but I love not his soldiers now. Must hire an amanuensis.</p> + + <p><i>January 1.</i>—After my long illness go I once + again, Unter den Linden, in my invalid chair—that is to + say, what is left of me. My enemy is now a Colonel. Shall I him + again see? Heaven forbid! Alas, he comes even now, with those + weapons which so rapidly him increase, and me diminish! I say + nothing, but he, seeing me, with his sword my last limb off + cuts. I love not even our Emperor now.</p> + + <p><i>May 1.</i>—To-day is the Socialists' Day, and I can + once more out-dragged be. I am now a without legs or arms + Socialist. My enemy can be promoted now only by my body. He has + become a General and Count—(<i>Here the Diary ends + abruptly.</i>)</p> + + <p>"<i>Berlin, May 2.</i>—Yesterday an unfortunate + Gentleman, without arms or legs, when passing the Royal Palace + in his invalid chair, was attacked by a distinguished officer, + who ran his sword through the heart of the unoffending + civilian. The assassin was immediately promoted, as is usual in + such cases, and is now Field Marshal Prince BLUTUNDRUHM VON + SCHLACHTHAUSEN."—<i>London Daily Papers.</i></p> + <hr /> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:65%;"> + <a href="images/190-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/190-1.png" + alt="CULTURE." /></a> + + <h3>CULTURE.</h3>SCENE—<i>A Private Picture + Gallery.</i> + + <p><i>Noble Sportsman</i> (<i>opposite choice example of + Canaletto</i>). "I SAY, BY JOVE, I SEE YOU'VE GOT A PICTURE + OF OLYMPIA HERE!"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h2>ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.</h2> + + <h4>EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.</h4> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:28%;"> + <a href="images/190-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/190-2.png" + alt="Alpheus Cleophas." /></a>Alpheus Cleophas. + </div> + + <p><i>House of Commons, Monday, April 4.</i>—ALPHEUS + CLEOPHAS has added a new terror to Parliamentary life. It is + bad enough to have him unexpectedly rising from a customary + seat; usually finds a place on top Bench below Gangway, whence, + in days that are no more, NEWDEGATE used to lament fresh + evidences of Papal ascendancy. House grown accustomed to + hearing the familiar voice from this accustomed spot. To-night, + conversation on question of Privilege been going forward for + some time. Seemed about to reach conclusion, when suddenly, far + below the Gangway in Irish quarter, ominous sound broke on + startled ear.</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/190-3.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/190-3.png" + alt="Personal Conductor." /></a>Personal Conductor. + </div> + + <p>At first all eyes turned to NEWDEGATE's old quarters; but + the voice evidently did not proceed thence. Following the + sound, Members came upon ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS breaking out in a + fresh place. Otherwise, all the same; the flat-toned voice, the + imperturbable manner that awaits cessation of storm of obloquy, + and then completes interrupted sentence; the conviction that + somebody (generally the Government) is acting dishonestly, and + needs a watchful eye kept upon him; the information conveyed + that the Eye is now turned on—all were there, each + identified ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS. Up again and again during + preliminary discussion, always shouted at, and ever quietly + waiting till noise has subsided, when he finishes the + interrupted sentence, and begins another.</p> + + <p><i>Business done.</i>—In Committee on Small + Holdings.</p> + + <p><i>Tuesday.</i>—Happy circumstance in the history of + all Administrations that there is never lacking a friend on + their own side to keep them on the right path. RADCLIFFE COOKE + suddenly developed tendency towards personally conducting the + Government. Hitherto appeared as a docile follower. New state + of affairs arose in connection with Breach of Privilege by + Cambrian Railway Directors. HICKS-BEACH last night gave notice + to take into consideration Special Report of Select Committee + charging Directors with Breach of Privilege. BEACH proposed to + wait awhile till "the other side" had got up a case or two, to + show that if Masters were prone to punish their Servants for + giving inconvenient evidence on question of Hours of Labour, + the Servants were no better when they had power to inflict + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page191" + id="page191"></a>[pg 191]</span> on each other similar + punishment. BEACH made his proposal in matter-of-fact way, + anticipating general concurrence. But CHANNING objected; + GEORGE TREVELYAN did not approve the suggestion; while the + SQUIRE OF MALWOOD eagerly seized BEACH's maladroit phrase + about "the other side," and made great play with it. + Probably BEACH might have disregarded this action from + Opposition Benches; but different when RADCLIFFE COOKE rose + from Bench immediately behind Ministers, and in severely + judicial manner criticised proposed action of President of + Board of Trade. BEACH said nothing at moment; after some + hours' reflection, announced withdrawal of original + proposition and intention of proceeding with indictment of + Cambrian Directors without waiting for case of "the other + side."</p> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/191.png"><img width="60%" + src="images/191.png" + alt="WANTED, A FIGURE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LONDON COUNTY COUNCIL." /> + </a> + + <h3>WANTED, A FIGURE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LONDON COUNTY + COUNCIL.</h3>SOME OF THE SUGGESTIONS SENT IN TO MR. PUNCH. + </div><span class="pagenum"><a name="page192" + id="page192"></a>[pg 192]</span> + + <p>To-day he moved that on Thursday the accused should appear + at Bar of House. This on point of being agreed to when COOKE + again appeared on scene; with increased impressiveness of + manner argued against BEACH's proposal. Prince ARTHUR began to + look uneasy; no knowing where this sort of thing would end if + it spread. What with SEXTON on one side correcting grammar of + Ministerial Resolutions, and RADCLIFFE COOKE on the other + amending their procedure, it really seemed time to go to the + country. Something like condition of paralysis stealing over + Treasury Bench when SPEAKER came to assistance of Ministers, + and benignly but effectively pointed out to COOKE that he was + one too many, was in fact spoiling the broth. COOKE tried to + argue the matter out, but SPEAKER peremptory and Ministers + saved from fresh rebuff.</p> + + <p>"It's all very well for them arguing round the subject like + that," said MACLURE, nervously mopping his forehead. "But it's + a very different thing with me, at my age and fighting weight. + An Insurance Broker, Director of various Railway and other + Companies, formerly Major of the 40th Lancashire Volunteers, a + Trustee for three Church livings, and father of a large family, + to be brought up on a Breach of Privilege is no slight matter. + Indignity is aggravated by the locality. 'The Bar' is the last + place in the world where the friends of JOHN WILLIAM MACLURE + would think it likely to find him."</p> + + <p><i>Business done.</i>—In Committee on Small + Holdings.</p> + + <p><i>Thursday Night.</i>—After all, MACLURE didn't have + to stand at the Bar to-night, so his feelings were saved a + peculiarly painful wrench. But the Chairman of Cambrian Railway + held a special meeting at Bar. It was attended by Mr. BAILEY + HAWKINS, and Mr. JOHN CONACHER, Manager of the Company. The + SERGEANT-AT-ARMS also looked in, bringing the Mace with + him.</p> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:21%;"> + <a href="images/192-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/192-1.png" + alt="Turning his Back on his own Resolution." /> + </a>Turning his Back on his own Resolution. + </div> + + <p>"Now if they were <i>really</i> going to have anything at + the Bar," said MACLURE, looking wistfully on, "a drop of mulled + port or anything like that, Mace would come in handy. Suppose + ERSKINE would dip it in the jorum and stir the liquor + round."</p> + + <p>So MACLURE joked, and so, as JULIUS 'ANNIBAL, naturally + well-posted up in this epoch of history, reminds me, NERO + fiddled whilst Rome burned. Fact is, MACLURE in terrible funk; + mental condition shared by his Chairman, Co-director, and the + Manager. The latter, resolved to sell his life dearly, brought + in his umbrella, which gave him a quite casual + hope-I-don't-intrude appearance as he stood at the Bar.</p> + + <p>Members at first disposed to regard whole matter as a joke. + Cheered MACLURE when he came in at a half trot; laughed when, + the Bar pulled out, difficulty arose about making both ends + meet.</p> + + <p>"That's the Chancellor of the Exchequer's duty," said + WILFRID LAWSON; "GOSCHEN ought to go and lend a hand."</p> + + <p>Bursts of laughter and buzz of conversation in all parts of + the House; general aspect more like appearance at theatre on + Boxing Night when audience waits for curtain to rise on new + pantomime. Only the SPEAKER grave, even solemn; his voice + occasionally rising above merry din with stern cry of "Order! + order!"</p> + + <p>"Of course, now they're at the Bar they can order what they + please," said TANNER. Well the SPEAKER didn't hear him. Later, + on eve of final division, he offered another remark in louder + tone. SPEAKER thundered down upon him like a tornado, and + TANNER quiet for rest of sitting.</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:25%;"> + <a href="images/192-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/192-2.png" + alt="The Woolwich Infant 'goes off.'" /></a>The + Woolwich Infant "goes off." + </div> + + <p>HICKS-BEACH's speech gave new and more serious turn to + affairs. Concluded with Motion declaring Directors guilty of + Breach of Privilege and sentencing them to admonition. But + speech itself clearly made out that Directors were blameless; + all the bother lying at door of Railway Servant who had been + dismissed. Speech, in short, turned its back on Resolution. + This riled the Radicals; not to be soothed even by Mr. G. + interposing in favourite character as GRAND OLD PACIFICATOR. + Storm raged all night; division after division taken; finally, + long past midnight, Directors again brought up to the Bar, the + worn, almost shrivelled, appearance of CONACHER's umbrella + testifying to the mental suffering undergone during the seven + hours that had passed since last they stood there.</p> + + <p>SPEAKER, with awful mien and in terrible tones, "admonished" + them; and so to bed.</p> + + <p><i>Business done.</i>—Cambrian Directors admonished + for Breach of Privilege.</p> + + <p><i>Tuesday, April 12.</i>—House adjourns to-day for + Easter Holidays; good many adjourned after Friday's Sitting; + some waited to hear JOKIM bringing in his Budget last night. + Few left to-day to wind up the business. HUGHES, gallant + Colonel who represents Woolwich, here a few minutes ago. But + he's gone too. "Sometimes," he said, with a far-away smile, + "they call me 'the Woolwich Infant.' If I am such a very big + gun, perhaps the best thing I can do is to go off."</p> + + <p>I follow his example.</p> + + <p><i>Business done.</i>—Adjourned for Easter + Holidays.</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>THE LEGEND OF THE MUTTON BONE.</h2> + + <h4>(<i>By Our Newly-Married Poetess.</i>)</h4> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:30%;"> + <a href="images/192-3.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/192-3.png" + alt="" /></a> + </div> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>When the world is full of flowers and of butterflies + at play,</p> + + <p>I could sit beneath the roses eating chocolates all + day;</p> + + <p>But my heart is very heavy as I ponder with + dismay</p> + + <p class="i6">On the Mutton Bone a-lying in the + Larder!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>For GEORGE has squandered sixpence on a telegram + from town,</p> + + <p>To say that he has come across "that dear old + chappie—BROWNE,"</p> + + <p>And to dine with us this evening he means to bring + him down—</p> + + <p class="i6">And the Mutton Bone is lying in the + Larder!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>I have just been down to see it, and my courage + sinks a-new,</p> + + <p>Though Cook has kindly promised me her very best to + do—</p> + + <p>Which means that she'll convert into an appetising + stew</p> + + <p class="i6">The Mutton Bone a-lying in the + Larder.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>But I suddenly remember, with a blush of rosy + pink,</p> + + <p>That Cook—alas! is given to the frequent use + of drink,</p> + + <p>And if she once gets muddled up—perhaps she'll + never think</p> + + <p class="i6">Of the Mutton Bone a-lying in the + Larder!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <hr class="short" /> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>As the western sun is gilding all the heather of the + moor,</p> + + <p>Down the basement stairs I'm creeping—till a + widely open door</p> + + <p>Shows me Cook in heavy slumber on her cherished + kitchen floor—</p> + + <p class="i6">And the Mutton Bone is lying in the + Larder!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>O GEORGE, there'll be no dinner, dear, for you and + BROWNE to-day!</p> + + <p>I picture to myself the pretty words that you will + say—</p> + + <p>And I seize my guinea bonnet—and I wander far + away</p> + + <p class="i6">From the Mutton Bone a-lying in the + Larder!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>MOTTO FOR A SOAP CO.—"Nothing like Lather."</p> + <hr /> + + <p>NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, + whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any + description, will in no case be returned, not even when + accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or + Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.</p> +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14452 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/14452-h/images/181.png b/14452-h/images/181.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..01f4e59 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/181.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/182.png b/14452-h/images/182.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..82af515 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/182.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/183.png b/14452-h/images/183.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2603594 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/183.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/184.png b/14452-h/images/184.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..73f9ebf --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/184.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/185-1.png b/14452-h/images/185-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4b6825f --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/185-1.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/185-2.png b/14452-h/images/185-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7cd76ed --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/185-2.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/186.png b/14452-h/images/186.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..65c0182 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/186.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/187.png b/14452-h/images/187.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..98649f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/187.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/189-1.png b/14452-h/images/189-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a798114 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/189-1.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/189-2.png b/14452-h/images/189-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..639fd20 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/189-2.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/190-1.png b/14452-h/images/190-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c54c0c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/190-1.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/190-2.png b/14452-h/images/190-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d2b849e --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/190-2.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/190-3.png b/14452-h/images/190-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ec6aeb --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/190-3.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/191.png b/14452-h/images/191.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7725d4c --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/191.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/192-1.png b/14452-h/images/192-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3327f8b --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/192-1.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/192-2.png b/14452-h/images/192-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f91db27 --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/192-2.png diff --git a/14452-h/images/192-3.png b/14452-h/images/192-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc9204e --- /dev/null +++ b/14452-h/images/192-3.png |
