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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, by Charles Dickens
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy
+
+
+Author: Charles Dickens
+
+Release Date: April 3, 2005 [eBook #1421]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY***
+
+
+
+
+
+Transcribed from the 1894 Chapman and Hall "Christmas Stories" edition by
+David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
+
+
+
+
+
+MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY
+
+
+CHAPTER I--MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW SHE WENT ON, AND WENT OVER
+
+
+Ah! It's pleasant to drop into my own easy-chair my dear though a little
+palpitating what with trotting up-stairs and what with trotting down, and
+why kitchen stairs should all be corner stairs is for the builders to
+justify though I do not think they fully understand their trade and never
+did, else why the sameness and why not more conveniences and fewer
+draughts and likewise making a practice of laying the plaster on too
+thick I am well convinced which holds the damp, and as to chimney-pots
+putting them on by guess-work like hats at a party and no more knowing
+what their effect will be upon the smoke bless you than I do if so much,
+except that it will mostly be either to send it down your throat in a
+straight form or give it a twist before it goes there. And what I says
+speaking as I find of those new metal chimneys all manner of shapes
+(there's a row of 'em at Miss Wozenham's lodging-house lower down on the
+other side of the way) is that they only work your smoke into artificial
+patterns for you before you swallow it and that I'd quite as soon swallow
+mine plain, the flavour being the same, not to mention the conceit of
+putting up signs on the top of your house to show the forms in which you
+take your smoke into your inside.
+
+Being here before your eyes my dear in my own easy-chair in my own quiet
+room in my own Lodging-House Number Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand
+London situated midway between the City and St. James's--if anything is
+where it used to be with these hotels calling themselves Limited but
+called unlimited by Major Jackman rising up everywhere and rising up into
+flagstaffs where they can't go any higher, but my mind of those monsters
+is give me a landlord's or landlady's wholesome face when I come off a
+journey and not a brass plate with an electrified number clicking out of
+it which it's not in nature can be glad to see me and to which I don't
+want to be hoisted like molasses at the Docks and left there telegraphing
+for help with the most ingenious instruments but quite in vain--being
+here my dear I have no call to mention that I am still in the Lodgings as
+a business hoping to die in the same and if agreeable to the clergy
+partly read over at Saint Clement's Danes and concluded in Hatfield
+churchyard when lying once again by my poor Lirriper ashes to ashes and
+dust to dust.
+
+Neither should I tell you any news my dear in telling you that the Major
+is still a fixture in the Parlours quite as much so as the roof of the
+house, and that Jemmy is of boys the best and brightest and has ever had
+kept from him the cruel story of his poor pretty young mother Mrs. Edson
+being deserted in the second floor and dying in my arms, fully believing
+that I am his born Gran and him an orphan, though what with engineering
+since he took a taste for it and him and the Major making Locomotives out
+of parasols broken iron pots and cotton-reels and them absolutely a
+getting off the line and falling over the table and injuring the
+passengers almost equal to the originals it really is quite wonderful.
+And when I says to the Major, "Major can't you by _any_ means give us a
+communication with the guard?" the Major says quite huffy, "No madam it's
+not to be done," and when I says "Why not?" the Major says, "That is
+between us who are in the Railway Interest madam and our friend the Right
+Honourable Vice-President of the Board of Trade" and if you'll believe me
+my dear the Major wrote to Jemmy at school to consult him on the answer I
+should have before I could get even that amount of unsatisfactoriness out
+of the man, the reason being that when we first began with the little
+model and the working signals beautiful and perfect (being in general as
+wrong as the real) and when I says laughing "What appointment am I to
+hold in this undertaking gentlemen?" Jemmy hugs me round the neck and
+tells me dancing, "You shall be the Public Gran" and consequently they
+put upon me just as much as ever they like and I sit a growling in my
+easy-chair.
+
+My dear whether it is that a grown man as clever as the Major cannot give
+half his heart and mind to anything--even a plaything--but must get into
+right down earnest with it, whether it is so or whether it is not so I do
+not undertake to say, but Jemmy is far out-done by the serious and
+believing ways of the Major in the management of the United Grand
+Junction Lirriper and Jackman Great Norfolk Parlour Line, "For" says my
+Jemmy with the sparkling eyes when it was christened, "we must have a
+whole mouthful of name Gran or our dear old Public" and there the young
+rogue kissed me, "won't stump up." So the Public took the shares--ten at
+ninepence, and immediately when that was spent twelve Preference at one
+and sixpence--and they were all signed by Jemmy and countersigned by the
+Major, and between ourselves much better worth the money than some shares
+I have paid for in my time. In the same holidays the line was made and
+worked and opened and ran excursions and had collisions and burst its
+boilers and all sorts of accidents and offences all most regular correct
+and pretty. The sense of responsibility entertained by the Major as a
+military style of station-master my dear starting the down train behind
+time and ringing one of those little bells that you buy with the little
+coal-scuttles off the tray round the man's neck in the street did him
+honour, but noticing the Major of a night when he is writing out his
+monthly report to Jemmy at school of the state of the Rolling Stock and
+the Permanent Way and all the rest of it (the whole kept upon the Major's
+sideboard and dusted with his own hands every morning before varnishing
+his boots) I notice him as full of thought and care as full can be and
+frowning in a fearful manner, but indeed the Major does nothing by halves
+as witness his great delight in going out surveying with Jemmy when he
+has Jemmy to go with, carrying a chain and a measuring-tape and driving I
+don't know what improvements right through Westminster Abbey and fully
+believed in the streets to be knocking everything upside down by Act of
+Parliament. As please Heaven will come to pass when Jemmy takes to that
+as a profession!
+
+Mentioning my poor Lirriper brings into my head his own youngest brother
+the Doctor though Doctor of what I am sure it would be hard to say unless
+Liquor, for neither Physic nor Music nor yet Law does Joshua Lirriper
+know a morsel of except continually being summoned to the County Court
+and having orders made upon him which he runs away from, and once was
+taken in the passage of this very house with an umbrella up and the
+Major's hat on, giving his name with the door-mat round him as Sir
+Johnson Jones, K.C.B. in spectacles residing at the Horse Guards. On
+which occasion he had got into the house not a minute before, through the
+girl letting him on the mat when he sent in a piece of paper twisted more
+like one of those spills for lighting candles than a note, offering me
+the choice between thirty shillings in hand and his brains on the
+premises marked immediate and waiting for an answer. My dear it gave me
+such a dreadful turn to think of the brains of my poor dear Lirriper's
+own flesh and blood flying about the new oilcloth however unworthy to be
+so assisted, that I went out of my room here to ask him what he would
+take once for all not to do it for life when I found him in the custody
+of two gentlemen that I should have judged to be in the feather-bed trade
+if they had not announced the law, so fluffy were their personal
+appearance. "Bring your chains, sir," says Joshua to the littlest of the
+two in the biggest hat, "rivet on my fetters!" Imagine my feelings when
+I pictered him clanking up Norfolk Street in irons and Miss Wozenham
+looking out of window! "Gentlemen," I says all of a tremble and ready to
+drop "please to bring him into Major Jackman's apartments." So they
+brought him into the Parlours, and when the Major spies his own curly-
+brimmed hat on him which Joshua Lirriper had whipped off its peg in the
+passage for a military disguise he goes into such a tearing passion that
+he tips it off his head with his hand and kicks it up to the ceiling with
+his foot where it grazed long afterwards. "Major" I says "be cool and
+advise me what to do with Joshua my dead and gone Lirriper's own youngest
+brother." "Madam" says the Major "my advice is that you board and lodge
+him in a Powder Mill, with a handsome gratuity to the proprietor when
+exploded." "Major" I says "as a Christian you cannot mean your words."
+"Madam" says the Major "by the Lord I do!" and indeed the Major besides
+being with all his merits a very passionate man for his size had a bad
+opinion of Joshua on account of former troubles even unattended by
+liberties taken with his apparel. When Joshua Lirriper hears this
+conversation betwixt us he turns upon the littlest one with the biggest
+hat and says "Come sir! Remove me to my vile dungeon. Where is my
+mouldy straw?" My dear at the picter of him rising in my mind dressed
+almost entirely in padlocks like Baron Trenck in Jemmy's book I was so
+overcome that I burst into tears and I says to the Major, "Major take my
+keys and settle with these gentlemen or I shall never know a happy minute
+more," which was done several times both before and since, but still I
+must remember that Joshua Lirriper has his good feelings and shows them
+in being always so troubled in his mind when he cannot wear mourning for
+his brother. Many a long year have I left off my widow's mourning not
+being wishful to intrude, but the tender point in Joshua that I cannot
+help a little yielding to is when he writes "One single sovereign would
+enable me to wear a decent suit of mourning for my much-loved brother. I
+vowed at the time of his lamented death that I would ever wear sables in
+memory of him but Alas how short-sighted is man, How keep that vow when
+penniless!" It says a good deal for the strength of his feelings that he
+couldn't have been seven year old when my poor Lirriper died and to have
+kept to it ever since is highly creditable. But we know there's good in
+all of us,--if we only knew where it was in some of us,--and though it
+was far from delicate in Joshua to work upon the dear child's feelings
+when first sent to school and write down into Lincolnshire for his pocket-
+money by return of post and got it, still he is my poor Lirriper's own
+youngest brother and mightn't have meant not paying his bill at the
+Salisbury Arms when his affection took him down to stay a fortnight at
+Hatfield churchyard and might have meant to keep sober but for bad
+company. Consequently if the Major _had_ played on him with the garden-
+engine which he got privately into his room without my knowing of it, I
+think that much as I should have regretted it there would have been words
+betwixt the Major and me. Therefore my dear though he played on Mr.
+Buffle by mistake being hot in his head, and though it might have been
+misrepresented down at Wozenham's into not being ready for Mr. Buffle in
+other respects he being the Assessed Taxes, still I do not so much regret
+it as perhaps I ought. And whether Joshua Lirriper will yet do well in
+life I cannot say, but I did hear of his coming, out at a Private Theatre
+in the character of a Bandit without receiving any offers afterwards from
+the regular managers.
+
+Mentioning Mr. Baffle gives an instance of there being good in persons
+where good is not expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr. Buffle's
+manners when engaged in his business were not agreeable. To collect is
+one thing, and to look about as if suspicious of the goods being
+gradually removing in the dead of the night by a back door is another,
+over taxing you have no control but suspecting is voluntary. Allowances
+too must ever be made for a gentleman of the Major's warmth not relishing
+being spoke to with a pen in the mouth, and while I do not know that it
+is more irritable to my own feelings to have a low-crowned hat with a
+broad brim kept on in doors than any other hat still I can appreciate the
+Major's, besides which without bearing malice or vengeance the Major is a
+man that scores up arrears as his habit always was with Joshua Lirriper.
+So at last my dear the Major lay in wait for Mr. Buffle, and it worrited
+me a good deal. Mr. Buffle gives his rap of two sharp knocks one day and
+the Major bounces to the door. "Collector has called for two quarters'
+Assessed Taxes" says Mr. Buffle. "They are ready for him" says the Major
+and brings him in here. But on the way Mr. Buffle looks about him in his
+usual suspicious manner and the Major fires and asks him "Do you see a
+Ghost sir?" "No sir" says Mr. Buffle. "Because I have before noticed
+you" says the Major "apparently looking for a spectre very hard beneath
+the roof of my respected friend. When you find that supernatural agent,
+be so good as point him out sir." Mr. Buffle stares at the Major and
+then nods at me. "Mrs. Lirriper sir" says the Major going off into a
+perfect steam and introducing me with his hand. "Pleasure of knowing
+her" says Mr. Buffle. "A--hum!--Jemmy Jackman sir!" says the Major
+introducing himself. "Honour of knowing you by sight" says Mr. Buffle.
+"Jemmy Jackman sir" says the Major wagging his head sideways in a sort of
+obstinate fury "presents to you his esteemed friend that lady Mrs. Emma
+Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand London in the County of
+Middlesex in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Upon which
+occasion sir," says the Major, "Jemmy Jackman takes your hat off." Mr.
+Buffle looks at his hat where the Major drops it on the floor, and he
+picks it up and puts it on again. "Sir" says the Major very red and
+looking him full in the face "there are two quarters of the Gallantry
+Taxes due and the Collector has called." Upon which if you can believe
+my words my dear the Major drops Mr. Buffle's hat off again. "This--"
+Mr. Buffle begins very angry with his pen in his mouth, when the Major
+steaming more and more says "Take your bit out sir! Or by the whole
+infernal system of Taxation of this country and every individual figure
+in the National Debt, I'll get upon your back and ride you like a horse!"
+which it's my belief he would have done and even actually jerking his
+neat little legs ready for a spring as it was. "This," says Mr. Buffle
+without his pen "is an assault and I'll have the law of you." "Sir"
+replies the Major "if you are a man of honour, your Collector of whatever
+may be due on the Honourable Assessment by applying to Major Jackman at
+the Parlours Mrs. Lirriper's Lodgings, may obtain what he wants in full
+at any moment."
+
+When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with those meaning words my dear I
+literally gasped for a teaspoonful of salvolatile in a wine-glass of
+water, and I says "Pray let it go no farther gentlemen I beg and beseech
+of you!" But the Major could be got to do nothing else but snort long
+after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the effect it had upon my whole mass of
+blood when on the next day of Mr. Buffle's rounds the Major spruced
+himself up and went humming a tune up and down the street with one eye
+almost obliterated by his hat there are not expressions in Johnson's
+Dictionary to state. But I safely put the street door on the jar and got
+behind the Major's blinds with my shawl on and my mind made up the moment
+I saw danger to rush out screeching till my voice failed me and catch the
+Major round the neck till my strength went and have all parties bound. I
+had not been behind the blinds a quarter of an hour when I saw Mr. Buffle
+approaching with his Collecting-books in his hand. The Major likewise
+saw him approaching and hummed louder and himself approached. They met
+before the Airy railings. The Major takes off his hat at arm's length
+and says "Mr. Buffle I believe?" Mr. Buffle takes off _his_ hat at arm's
+length and says "That is my name sir." Says the Major "Have you any
+commands for me, Mr. Buffle?" Says Mr. Buffle "Not any sir." Then my
+dear both of 'em bowed very low and haughty and parted, and whenever Mr.
+Buffle made his rounds in future him and the Major always met and bowed
+before the Airy railings, putting me much in mind of Hamlet and the other
+gentleman in mourning before killing one another, though I could have
+wished the other gentleman had done it fairer and even if less polite no
+poison.
+
+Mr. Buffle's family were not liked in this neighbourhood, for when you
+are a householder my dear you'll find it does not come by nature to like
+the Assessed, and it was considered besides that a one-horse pheayton
+ought not to have elevated Mrs. Buffle to that height especially when
+purloined from the Taxes which I myself did consider uncharitable. But
+they were _not_ liked and there was that domestic unhappiness in the
+family in consequence of their both being very hard with Miss Buffle and
+one another on account of Miss Buffle's favouring Mr. Buffle's articled
+young gentleman, that it _was_ whispered that Miss Buffle would go either
+into a consumption or a convent she being so very thin and off her
+appetite and two close-shaved gentlemen with white bands round their
+necks peeping round the corner whenever she went out in waistcoats
+resembling black pinafores. So things stood towards Mr. Buffle when one
+night I was woke by a frightful noise and a smell of burning, and going
+to my bedroom window saw the whole street in a glow. Fortunately we had
+two sets empty just then and before I could hurry on some clothes I heard
+the Major hammering at the attics' doors and calling out "Dress
+yourselves!--Fire! Don't be frightened!--Fire! Collect your presence of
+mind!--Fire! All right--Fire!" most tremenjously. As I opened my
+bedroom door the Major came tumbling in over himself and me, and caught
+me in his arms. "Major" I says breathless "where is it?" "I don't know
+dearest madam" says the Major--"Fire! Jemmy Jackman will defend you to
+the last drop of his blood--Fire! If the dear boy was at home what a
+treat this would be for him--Fire!" and altogether very collected and
+bold except that he couldn't say a single sentence without shaking me to
+the very centre with roaring Fire. We ran down to the drawing-room and
+put our heads out of window, and the Major calls to an unfeeling young
+monkey, scampering by be joyful and ready to split "Where is it?--Fire!"
+The monkey answers without stopping "O here's a lark! Old Buffle's been
+setting his house alight to prevent its being found out that he boned the
+Taxes. Hurrah! Fire!" And then the sparks came flying up and the smoke
+came pouring down and the crackling of flames and spatting of water and
+banging of engines and hacking of axes and breaking of glass and knocking
+at doors and the shouting and crying and hurrying and the heat and
+altogether gave me a dreadful palpitation. "Don't be frightened dearest
+madam," says the Major, "--Fire! There's nothing to be alarmed at--Fire!
+Don't open the street door till I come back--Fire! I'll go and see if I
+can be of any service--Fire! You're quite composed and comfortable ain't
+you?--Fire, Fire, Fire!" It was in vain for me to hold the man and tell
+him he'd be galloped to death by the engines--pumped to death by his over-
+exertions--wet-feeted to death by the slop and mess--flattened to death
+when the roofs fell in--his spirit was up and he went scampering off
+after the young monkey with all the breath he had and none to spare, and
+me and the girls huddled together at the parlour windows looking at the
+dreadful flames above the houses over the way, Mr. Buffle's being round
+the corner. Presently what should we see but some people running down
+the street straight to our door, and then the Major directing operations
+in the busiest way, and then some more people and then--carried in a
+chair similar to Guy Fawkes--Mr. Buffle in a blanket!
+
+My dear the Major has Mr. Buffle brought up our steps and whisked into
+the parlour and carted out on the sofy, and then he and all the rest of
+them without so much as a word burst away again full speed leaving the
+impression of a vision except for Mr. Buffle awful in his blanket with
+his eyes a rolling. In a twinkling they all burst back again with Mrs.
+Buffle in another blanket, which whisked in and carted out on the sofy
+they all burst off again and all burst back again with Miss Buffle in
+another blanket, which again whisked in and carted out they all burst off
+again and all burst back again with Mr. Buffle's articled young gentleman
+in another blanket--him a holding round the necks of two men carrying him
+by the legs, similar to the picter of the disgraceful creetur who has
+lost the fight (but where the chair I do not know) and his hair having
+the appearance of newly played upon. When all four of a row, the Major
+rubs his hands and whispers me with what little hoarseness he can get
+together, "If our dear remarkable boy was only at home what a delightful
+treat this would be for him!"
+
+My dear we made them some hot tea and toast and some hot brandy-and-water
+with a little comfortable nutmeg in it, and at first they were scared and
+low in their spirits but being fully insured got sociable. And the first
+use Mr. Buffle made of his tongue was to call the Major his Preserver and
+his best of friends and to say "My for ever dearest sir let me make you
+known to Mrs. Buffle" which also addressed him as her Preserver and her
+best of friends and was fully as cordial as the blanket would admit of.
+Also Miss Buffle. The articled young gentleman's head was a little light
+and he sat a moaning "Robina is reduced to cinders, Robina is reduced to
+cinders!" Which went more to the heart on account of his having got
+wrapped in his blanket as if he was looking out of a violinceller case,
+until Mr. Buffle says "Robina speak to him!" Miss Buffle says "Dear
+George!" and but for the Major's pouring down brandy-and-water on the
+instant which caused a catching in his throat owing to the nutmeg and a
+violent fit of coughing it might have proved too much for his strength.
+When the articled young gentleman got the better of it Mr. Buffle leaned
+up against Mrs. Buffle being two bundles, a little while in confidence,
+and then says with tears in his eyes which the Major noticing wiped, "We
+have not been an united family, let us after this danger become so, take
+her George." The young gentleman could not put his arm out far to do it,
+but his spoken expressions were very beautiful though of a wandering
+class. And I do not know that I ever had a much pleasanter meal than the
+breakfast we took together after we had all dozed, when Miss Buffle made
+tea very sweetly in quite the Roman style as depicted formerly at Covent
+Garden Theatre and when the whole family was most agreeable, as they have
+ever proved since that night when the Major stood at the foot of the Fire-
+Escape and claimed them as they came down--the young gentleman
+head-foremost, which accounts. And though I do not say that we should be
+less liable to think ill of one another if strictly limited to blankets,
+still I do say that we might most of us come to a better understanding if
+we kept one another less at a distance.
+
+Why there's Wozenham's lower down on the other side of the street. I had
+a feeling of much soreness several years respecting what I must still
+ever call Miss Wozenham's systematic underbidding and the likeness of the
+house in Bradshaw having far too many windows and a most umbrageous and
+outrageous Oak which never yet was seen in Norfolk Street nor yet a
+carriage and four at Wozenham's door, which it would have been far more
+to Bradshaw's credit to have drawn a cab. This frame of mind continued
+bitter down to the very afternoon in January last when one of my girls,
+Sally Rairyganoo which I still suspect of Irish extraction though family
+represented Cambridge, else why abscond with a bricklayer of the Limerick
+persuasion and be married in pattens not waiting till his black eye was
+decently got round with all the company fourteen in number and one horse
+fighting outside on the roof of the vehicle,--I repeat my dear my ill-
+regulated state of mind towards Miss Wozenham continued down to the very
+afternoon of January last past when Sally Rairyganoo came banging (I can
+use no milder expression) into my room with a jump which may be Cambridge
+and may not, and said "Hurroo Missis! Miss Wozenham's sold up!" My dear
+when I had it thrown in my face and conscience that the girl Sally had
+reason to think I could be glad of the ruin of a fellow-creeter, I burst
+into tears and dropped back in my chair and I says "I am ashamed of
+myself!"
+
+Well! I tried to settle to my tea but I could not do it what with
+thinking of Miss Wozenham and her distresses. It was a wretched night
+and I went up to a front window and looked over at Wozenham's and as well
+as I could make it out down the street in the fog it was the dismallest
+of the dismal and not a light to be seen. So at last I save to myself
+"This will not do," and I puts on my oldest bonnet and shawl not wishing
+Miss Wozenham to be reminded of my best at such a time, and lo and behold
+you I goes over to Wozenham's and knocks. "Miss Wozenham at home?" I
+says turning my head when I heard the door go. And then I saw it was
+Miss Wozenham herself who had opened it and sadly worn she was poor thing
+and her eyes all swelled and swelled with crying. "Miss Wozenham" I says
+"it is several years since there was a little unpleasantness betwixt us
+on the subject of my grandson's cap being down your Airy. I have
+overlooked it and I hope you have done the same." "Yes Mrs. Lirriper"
+she says in a surprise, "I have." "Then my dear" I says "I should be
+glad to come in and speak a word to you." Upon my calling her my dear
+Miss Wozenham breaks out a crying most pitiful, and a not unfeeling
+elderly person that might have been better shaved in a nightcap with a
+hat over it offering a polite apology for the mumps having worked
+themselves into his constitution, and also for sending home to his wife
+on the bellows which was in his hand as a writing-desk, looks out of the
+back parlour and says "The lady wants a word of comfort" and goes in
+again. So I was able to say quite natural "Wants a word of comfort does
+she sir? Then please the pigs she shall have it!" And Miss Wozenham and
+me we go into the front room with a wretched light that seemed to have
+been crying too and was sputtering out, and I says "Now my dear, tell me
+all," and she wrings her hands and says "O Mrs. Lirriper that man is in
+possession here, and I have not a friend in the world who is able to help
+me with a shilling."
+
+It doesn't signify a bit what a talkative old body like me said to Miss
+Wozenham when she said that, and so I'll tell you instead my dear that
+I'd have given thirty shillings to have taken her over to tea, only I
+durstn't on account of the Major. Not you see but what I knew I could
+draw the Major out like thread and wind him round my finger on most
+subjects and perhaps even on that if I was to set myself to it, but him
+and me had so often belied Miss Wozenham to one another that I was
+shamefaced, and I knew she had offended his pride and never mine, and
+likewise I felt timid that that Rairyganoo girl might make things
+awkward. So I says "My dear if you could give me a cup of tea to clear
+my muddle of a head I should better understand your affairs." And we had
+the tea and the affairs too and after all it was but forty pound,
+and--There! she's as industrious and straight a creeter as ever lived and
+has paid back half of it already, and where's the use of saying more,
+particularly when it ain't the point? For the point is that when she was
+a kissing my hands and holding them in hers and kissing them again and
+blessing blessing blessing, I cheered up at last and I says "Why what a
+waddling old goose I have been my dear to take you for something so very
+different!" "Ah but I too" says she "how have _I_ mistaken _you_!" "Come
+for goodness' sake tell me" I says "what you thought of me?" "O" says
+she "I thought you had no feeling for such a hard hand-to-mouth life as
+mine, and were rolling in affluence." I says shaking my sides (and very
+glad to do it for I had been a choking quite long enough) "Only look at
+my figure my dear and give me your opinion whether if I was in affluence
+I should be likely to roll in it?" That did it? We got as merry as
+grigs (whatever _they_ are, if you happen to know my dear--_I_ don't) and
+I went home to my blessed home as happy and as thankful as could be. But
+before I make an end of it, think even of my having misunderstood the
+Major! Yes! For next forenoon the Major came into my little room with
+his brushed hat in his hand and he begins "My dearest madam--" and then
+put his face in his hat as if he had just come into church. As I sat all
+in a maze he came out of his hat and began again. "My esteemed and
+beloved friend--" and then went into his hat again. "Major," I cries out
+frightened "has anything happened to our darling boy?" "No, no, no" says
+the Major "but Miss Wozenham has been here this morning to make her
+excuses to me, and by the Lord I can't get over what she told me." "Hoity
+toity, Major," I says "you don't know yet that I was afraid of you last
+night and didn't think half as well of you as I ought! So come out of
+church Major and forgive me like a dear old friend and I'll never do so
+any more." And I leave you to judge my dear whether I ever did or will.
+And how affecting to think of Miss Wozenham out of her small income and
+her losses doing so much for her poor old father, and keeping a brother
+that had had the misfortune to soften his brain against the hard
+mathematics as neat as a new pin in the three back represented to lodgers
+as a lumber-room and consuming a whole shoulder of mutton whenever
+provided!
+
+And now my dear I really am a going to tell you about my Legacy if you're
+inclined to favour me with your attention, and I did fully intend to have
+come straight to it only one thing does so bring up another. It was the
+month of June and the day before Midsummer Day when my girl Winifred
+Madgers--she was what is termed a Plymouth Sister, and the Plymouth
+Brother that made away with her was quite right, for a tidier young woman
+for a wife never came into a house and afterwards called with the
+beautifullest Plymouth Twins--it was the day before Midsummer Day when
+Winifred Madgers comes and says to me "A gentleman from the Consul's
+wishes particular to speak to Mrs. Lirriper." If you'll believe me my
+dear the Consols at the bank where I have a little matter for Jemmy got
+into my head, and I says "Good gracious I hope he ain't had any dreadful
+fall!" Says Winifred "He don't look as if he had ma'am." And I says
+"Show him in."
+
+The gentleman came in dark and with his hair cropped what I should
+consider too close, and he says very polite "Madame Lirrwiper!" I says,
+"Yes sir. Take a chair." "I come," says he "frrwom the Frrwench
+Consul's." So I saw at once that it wasn't the Bank of England. "We
+have rrweceived," says the gentleman turning his r's very curious and
+skilful, "frrwom the Mairrwie at Sens, a communication which I will have
+the honour to rrwead. Madame Lirrwiper understands Frrwench?" "O dear
+no sir!" says I. "Madame Lirriper don't understand anything of the
+sort." "It matters not," says the gentleman, "I will trrwanslate."
+
+With that my dear the gentleman after reading something about a
+Department and a Marie (which Lord forgive me I supposed till the Major
+came home was Mary, and never was I more puzzled than to think how that
+young woman came to have so much to do with it) translated a lot with the
+most obliging pains, and it came to this:--That in the town of Sons in
+France an unknown Englishman lay a dying. That he was speechless and
+without motion. That in his lodging there was a gold watch and a purse
+containing such and such money and a trunk containing such and such
+clothes, but no passport and no papers, except that on his table was a
+pack of cards and that he had written in pencil on the back of the ace of
+hearts: "To the authorities. When I am dead, pray send what is left, as
+a last Legacy, to Mrs. Lirriper Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand London."
+When the gentleman had explained all this, which seemed to be drawn up
+much more methodical than I should have given the French credit for, not
+at that time knowing the nation, he put the document into my hand. And
+much the wiser I was for that you may be sure, except that it had the
+look of being made out upon grocery paper and was stamped all over with
+eagles.
+
+"Does Madame Lirrwiper" says the gentleman "believe she rrwecognises her
+unfortunate compatrrwiot?"
+
+You may imagine the flurry it put me into my dear to be talked to about
+my compatriots.
+
+I says "Excuse me. Would you have the kindness sir to make your language
+as simple as you can?"
+
+"This Englishman unhappy, at the point of death. This compatrrwiot
+afflicted," says the gentleman.
+
+"Thank you sir" I says "I understand you now. No sir I have not the
+least idea who this can be."
+
+"Has Madame Lirrwiper no son, no nephew, no godson, no frrwiend, no
+acquaintance of any kind in Frrwance?"
+
+"To my certain knowledge" says I "no relation or friend, and to the best
+of my belief no acquaintance."
+
+"Pardon me. You take Locataires?" says the gentleman.
+
+My dear fully believing he was offering me something with his obliging
+foreign manners,--snuff for anything I knew,--I gave a little bend of my
+head and I says if you'll credit it, "No I thank you. I have not
+contracted the habit."
+
+The gentleman looks perplexed and says "Lodgers!"
+
+"Oh!" says I laughing. "Bless the man! Why yes to be sure!"
+
+"May it not be a former lodger?" says the gentleman. "Some lodger that
+you pardoned some rrwent? You have pardoned lodgers some rrwent?"
+
+"Hem! It has happened sir" says I, "but I assure you I can call to mind
+no gentleman of that description that this is at all likely to be."
+
+In short my dear, we could make nothing of it, and the gentleman noted
+down what I said and went away. But he left me the paper of which he had
+two with him, and when the Major came in I says to the Major as I put it
+in his hand "Major here's Old Moore's Almanac with the hieroglyphic
+complete, for your opinion."
+
+It took the Major a little longer to read than I should have thought,
+judging from the copious flow with which he seemed to be gifted when
+attacking the organ-men, but at last he got through it, and stood a
+gazing at me in amazement.
+
+"Major" I says "you're paralysed."
+
+"Madam" says the Major, "Jemmy Jackman is doubled up."
+
+Now it did so happen that the Major had been out to get a little
+information about railroads and steamboats, as our boy was coming home
+for his Midsummer holidays next day and we were going to take him
+somewhere for a treat and a change. So while the Major stood a gazing it
+came into my head to say to him "Major I wish you'd go and look at some
+of your books and maps, and see whereabouts this same town of Sens is in
+France."
+
+The Major he roused himself and he went into the Parlours and he poked
+about a little, and he came back to me and he says, "Sens my dearest
+madam is seventy-odd miles south of Paris."
+
+With what I may truly call a desperate effort "Major," I says "we'll go
+there with our blessed boy."
+
+If ever the Major was beside himself it was at the thoughts of that
+journey. All day long he was like the wild man of the woods after
+meeting with an advertisement in the papers telling him something to his
+advantage, and early next morning hours before Jemmy could possibly come
+home he was outside in the street ready to call out to him that we was
+all a going to France. Young Rosycheeks you may believe was as wild as
+the Major, and they did carry on to that degree that I says "If you two
+children ain't more orderly I'll pack you both off to bed." And then
+they fell to cleaning up the Major's telescope to see France with, and
+went out and bought a leather bag with a snap to hang round Jemmy, and
+him to carry the money like a little Fortunatus with his purse.
+
+If I hadn't passed my word and raised their hopes, I doubt if I could
+have gone through with the undertaking but it was too late to go back
+now. So on the second day after Midsummer Day we went off by the morning
+mail. And when we came to the sea which I had never seen but once in my
+life and that when my poor Lirriper was courting me, the freshness of it
+and the deepness and the airiness and to think that it had been rolling
+ever since and that it was always a rolling and so few of us minding,
+made me feel quite serious. But I felt happy too and so did Jemmy and
+the Major and not much motion on the whole, though me with a swimming in
+the head and a sinking but able to take notice that the foreign insides
+appear to be constructed hollower than the English, leading to much more
+tremenjous noises when bad sailors.
+
+But my dear the blueness and the lightness and the coloured look of
+everything and the very sentry-boxes striped and the shining rattling
+drums and the little soldiers with their waists and tidy gaiters, when we
+got across to the Continent--it made me feel as if I don't know what--as
+if the atmosphere had been lifted off me. And as to lunch why bless you
+if I kept a man-cook and two kitchen-maids I couldn't got it done for
+twice the money, and no injured young woman a glaring at you and grudging
+you and acknowledging your patronage by wishing that your food might
+choke you, but so civil and so hot and attentive and every way
+comfortable except Jemmy pouring wine down his throat by tumblers-full
+and me expecting to see him drop under the table.
+
+And the way in which Jemmy spoke his French was a real charm. It was
+often wanted of him, for whenever anybody spoke a syllable to me I says
+"Non-comprenny, you're very kind, but it's no use--Now Jemmy!" and then
+Jemmy he fires away at 'em lovely, the only thing wanting in Jemmy's
+French being as it appeared to me that he hardly ever understood a word
+of what they said to him which made it scarcely of the use it might have
+been though in other respects a perfect Native, and regarding the Major's
+fluency I should have been of the opinion judging French by English that
+there might have been a greater choice of words in the language though
+still I must admit that if I hadn't known him when he asked a military
+gentleman in a gray cloak what o'clock it was I should have took him for
+a Frenchman born.
+
+Before going on to look after my Legacy we were to make one regular day
+in Paris, and I leave you to judge my dear what a day _that_ was with
+Jemmy and the Major and the telescope and me and the prowling young man
+at the inn door (but very civil too) that went along with us to show the
+sights. All along the railway to Paris Jemmy and the Major had been
+frightening me to death by stooping down on the platforms at stations to
+inspect the engines underneath their mechanical stomachs, and by creeping
+in and out I don't know where all, to find improvements for the United
+Grand Junction Parlour, but when we got out into the brilliant streets on
+a bright morning they gave up all their London improvements as a bad job
+and gave their minds to Paris. Says the prowling young man to me "Will I
+speak Inglis No?" So I says "If you can young man I shall take it as a
+favour," but after half-an-hour of it when I fully believed the man had
+gone mad and me too I says "Be so good as fall back on your French sir,"
+knowing that then I shouldn't have the agonies of trying to understand
+him, which was a happy release. Not that I lost much more than the rest
+either, for I generally noticed that when he had described something very
+long indeed and I says to Jemmy "What does he say Jemmy?" Jemmy says
+looking with vengeance in his eye "He is so jolly indistinct!" and that
+when he had described it longer all over again and I says to Jemmy "Well
+Jemmy what's it all about?" Jemmy says "He says the building was repaired
+in seventeen hundred and four, Gran."
+
+Wherever that prowling young man formed his prowling habits I cannot be
+expected to know, but the way in which he went round the corner while we
+had our breakfasts and was there again when we swallowed the last crumb
+was most marvellous, and just the same at dinner and at night, prowling
+equally at the theatre and the inn gateway and the shop doors when we
+bought a trifle or two and everywhere else but troubled with a tendency
+to spit. And of Paris I can tell you no more my dear than that it's town
+and country both in one, and carved stone and long streets of high houses
+and gardens and fountains and statues and trees and gold, and immensely
+big soldiers and immensely little soldiers and the pleasantest nurses
+with the whitest caps a playing at skipping-rope with the bunchiest
+babies in the flattest caps, and clean table-cloths spread everywhere for
+dinner and people sitting out of doors smoking and sipping all day long
+and little plays being acted in the open air for little people and every
+shop a complete and elegant room, and everybody seeming to play at
+everything in this world. And as to the sparkling lights my dear after
+dark, glittering high up and low down and on before and on behind and all
+round, and the crowd of theatres and the crowd of people and the crowd of
+all sorts, it's pure enchantment. And pretty well the only thing that
+grated on me was that whether you pay your fare at the railway or whether
+you change your money at a money-dealer's or whether you take your ticket
+at the theatre, the lady or gentleman is caged up (I suppose by
+government) behind the strongest iron bars having more of a Zoological
+appearance than a free country.
+
+Well to be sure when I did after all get my precious bones to bed that
+night, and my Young Rogue came in to kiss me and asks "What do you think
+of this lovely lovely Paris, Gran?" I says "Jemmy I feel as if it was
+beautiful fireworks being let off in my head." And very cool and
+refreshing the pleasant country was next day when we went on to look
+after my Legacy, and rested me much and did me a deal of good.
+
+So at length and at last my dear we come to Sens, a pretty little town
+with a great two-towered cathedral and the rooks flying in and out of the
+loopholes and another tower atop of one of the towers like a sort of a
+stone pulpit. In which pulpit with the birds skimming below him if
+you'll believe me, I saw a speck while I was resting at the inn before
+dinner which they made signs to me was Jemmy and which really was. I had
+been a fancying as I sat in the balcony of the hotel that an Angel might
+light there and call down to the people to be good, but I little thought
+what Jemmy all unknown to himself was a calling down from that high place
+to some one in the town.
+
+The pleasantest-situated inn my dear! Right under the two towers, with
+their shadows a changing upon it all day like a kind of a sundial, and
+country people driving in and out of the courtyard in carts and hooded
+cabriolets and such like, and a market outside in front of the cathedral,
+and all so quaint and like a picter. The Major and me agreed that
+whatever came of my Legacy this was the place to stay in for our holiday,
+and we also agreed that our dear boy had best not be checked in his joy
+that night by the sight of the Englishman if he was still alive, but that
+we would go together and alone. For you are to understand that the Major
+not feeling himself quite equal in his wind to the height to which Jemmy
+had climbed, had come back to me and left him with the Guide.
+
+So after dinner when Jemmy had set off to see the river, the Major went
+down to the Mairie, and presently came back with a military character in
+a sword and spurs and a cocked hat and a yellow shoulder-belt and long
+tags about him that he must have found inconvenient. And the Major says
+"The Englishman still lies in the same state dearest madam. This
+gentleman will conduct us to his lodging." Upon which the military
+character pulled off his cocked hat to me, and I took notice that he had
+shaved his forehead in imitation of Napoleon Bonaparte but not like.
+
+We wont out at the courtyard gate and past the great doors of the
+cathedral and down a narrow High Street where the people were sitting
+chatting at their shop doors and the children were at play. The military
+character went in front and he stopped at a pork-shop with a little
+statue of a pig sitting up, in the window, and a private door that a
+donkey was looking out of.
+
+When the donkey saw the military character he came slipping out on the
+pavement to turn round and then clattered along the passage into a back
+yard. So the coast being clear, the Major and me were conducted up the
+common stair and into the front room on the second, a bare room with a
+red tiled floor and the outside lattice blinds pulled close to darken it.
+As the military character opened the blinds I saw the tower where I had
+seen Jemmy, darkening as the sun got low, and I turned to the bed by the
+wall and saw the Englishman.
+
+It was some kind of brain fever he had had, and his hair was all gone,
+and some wetted folded linen lay upon his head. I looked at him very
+attentive as he lay there all wasted away with his eyes closed, and I
+says to the Major--
+
+"_I_ never saw this face before."
+
+The Major looked at him very attentive too, and he says "I never saw this
+face before."
+
+When the Major explained our words to the military character, that
+gentleman shrugged his shoulders and showed the Major the card on which
+it was written about the Legacy for me. It had been written with a weak
+and trembling hand in bed, and I knew no more of the writing than of the
+face. Neither did the Major.
+
+Though lying there alone, the poor creetur was as well taken care of as
+could be hoped, and would have been quite unconscious of any one's
+sitting by him then. I got the Major to say that we were not going away
+at present and that I would come back to-morrow and watch a bit by the
+bedside. But I got him to add--and I shook my head hard to make it
+stronger--"We agree that we never saw this face before."
+
+Our boy was greatly surprised when we told him sitting out in the balcony
+in the starlight, and he ran over some of those stories of former
+Lodgers, of the Major's putting down, and asked wasn't it possible that
+it might be this lodger or that lodger. It was not possible, and we went
+to bed.
+
+In the morning just at breakfast-time the military character came
+jingling round, and said that the doctor thought from the signs he saw
+there might be some rally before the end. So I says to the Major and
+Jemmy, "You two boys go and enjoy yourselves, and I'll take my Prayer
+Book and go sit by the bed." So I went, and I sat there some hours,
+reading a prayer for him poor soul now and then, and it was quite on in
+the day when he moved his hand.
+
+He had been so still, that the moment he moved I knew of it, and I pulled
+off my spectacles and laid down my book and rose and looked at him. From
+moving one hand he began to move both, and then his action was the action
+of a person groping in the dark. Long after his eyes had opened, there
+was a film over them and he still felt for his way out into light. But
+by slow degrees his sight cleared and his hands stopped. He saw the
+ceiling, he saw the wall, he saw me. As his sight cleared, mine cleared
+too, and when at last we looked in one another's faces, I started back,
+and I cries passionately:
+
+"O you wicked wicked man! Your sin has found you out!"
+
+For I knew him, the moment life looked out of his eyes, to be Mr. Edson,
+Jemmy's father who had so cruelly deserted Jemmy's young unmarried mother
+who had died in my arms, poor tender creetur, and left Jemmy to me.
+
+"You cruel wicked man! You bad black traitor!"
+
+With the little strength he had, he made an attempt to turn over on his
+wretched face to hide it. His arm dropped out of the bed and his head
+with it, and there he lay before me crushed in body and in mind. Surely
+the miserablest sight under the summer sun!
+
+"O blessed Heaven," I says a crying, "teach me what to say to this broken
+mortal! I am a poor sinful creetur, and the Judgment is not mine."
+
+As I lifted my eyes up to the clear bright sky, I saw the high tower
+where Jemmy had stood above the birds, seeing that very window; and the
+last look of that poor pretty young mother when her soul brightened and
+got free, seemed to shine down from it.
+
+"O man, man, man!" I says, and I went on my knees beside the bed; "if
+your heart is rent asunder and you are truly penitent for what you did,
+Our Saviour will have mercy on you yet!"
+
+As I leaned my face against the bed, his feeble hand could just move
+itself enough to touch me. I hope the touch was penitent. It tried to
+hold my dress and keep hold, but the fingers were too weak to close.
+
+I lifted him back upon the pillows and I says to him:
+
+"Can you hear me?"
+
+He looked yes.
+
+"Do you know me?"
+
+He looked yes, even yet more plainly.
+
+"I am not here alone. The Major is with me. You recollect the Major?"
+
+Yes. That is to say he made out yes, in the same way as before.
+
+"And even the Major and I are not alone. My grandson--his godson--is
+with us. Do you hear? My grandson."
+
+The fingers made another trial to catch my sleeve, but could only creep
+near it and fall.
+
+"Do you know who my grandson is?"
+
+Yes.
+
+"I pitied and loved his lonely mother. When his mother lay a dying I
+said to her, 'My dear, this baby is sent to a childless old woman.' He
+has been my pride and joy ever since. I love him as dearly as if he had
+drunk from my breast. Do you ask to see my grandson before you die?"
+
+Yes.
+
+"Show me, when I leave off speaking, if you correctly understand what I
+say. He has been kept unacquainted with the story of his birth. He has
+no knowledge of it. No suspicion of it. If I bring him here to the side
+of this bed, he will suppose you to be a perfect stranger. It is more
+than I can do to keep from him the knowledge that there is such wrong and
+misery in the world; but that it was ever so near him in his innocent
+cradle I have kept from him, and I do keep from him, and I ever will keep
+from him, for his mother's sake, and for his own."
+
+He showed me that he distinctly understood, and the tears fell from his
+eyes.
+
+"Now rest, and you shall see him."
+
+So I got him a little wine and some brandy, and I put things straight
+about his bed. But I began to be troubled in my mind lest Jemmy and the
+Major might be too long of coming back. What with this occupation for my
+thoughts and hands, I didn't hear a foot upon the stairs, and was
+startled when I saw the Major stopped short in the middle of the room by
+the eyes of the man upon the bed, and knowing him then, as I had known
+him a little while ago.
+
+There was anger in the Major's face, and there was horror and repugnance
+and I don't know what. So I went up to him and I led him to the bedside,
+and when I clasped my hands and lifted of them up, the Major did the
+like.
+
+"O Lord" I says "Thou knowest what we two saw together of the sufferings
+and sorrows of that young creetur now with Thee. If this dying man is
+truly penitent, we two together humbly pray Thee to have mercy on him!"
+
+The Major says "Amen!" and then after a little stop I whispers him, "Dear
+old friend fetch our beloved boy." And the Major, so clever as to have
+got to understand it all without being told a word, went away and brought
+him.
+
+Never never never shall I forget the fair bright face of our boy when he
+stood at the foot of the bed, looking at his unknown father. And O so
+like his dear young mother then!
+
+"Jemmy" I says, "I have found out all about this poor gentleman who is so
+ill, and he did lodge in the old house once. And as he wants to see all
+belonging to it, now that he is passing away, I sent for you."
+
+"Ah poor man!" says Jemmy stepping forward and touching one of his hands
+with great gentleness. "My heart melts for him. Poor, poor man!"
+
+The eyes that were so soon to close for ever turned to me, and I was not
+that strong in the pride of my strength that I could resist them.
+
+"My darling boy, there is a reason in the secret history of this fellow-
+creetur lying as the best and worst of us must all lie one day, which I
+think would ease his spirit in his last hour if you would lay your cheek
+against his forehead and say, 'May God forgive you!'"
+
+"O Gran," says Jemmy with a full heart, "I am not worthy!" But he leaned
+down and did it. Then the faltering fingers made out to catch hold of my
+sleeve at last, and I believe he was a-trying to kiss me when he died.
+
+* * * * *
+
+There my dear! There you have the story of my Legacy in full, and it's
+worth ten times the trouble I have spent upon it if you are pleased to
+like it.
+
+You might suppose that it set us against the little French town of Sens,
+but no we didn't find that. I found myself that I never looked up at the
+high tower atop of the other tower, but the days came back again when
+that fair young creetur with her pretty bright hair trusted in me like a
+mother, and the recollection made the place so peaceful to me as I can't
+express. And every soul about the hotel down to the pigeons in the
+courtyard made friends with Jemmy and the Major, and went lumbering away
+with them on all sorts of expeditions in all sorts of vehicles drawn by
+rampagious cart-horses,--with heads and without,--mud for paint and ropes
+for harness,--and every new friend dressed in blue like a butcher, and
+every new horse standing on his hind legs wanting to devour and consume
+every other horse, and every man that had a whip to crack crack-crack-
+crack-crack-cracking it as if it was a schoolboy with his first. As to
+the Major my dear that man lived the greater part of his time with a
+little tumbler in one hand and a bottle of small wine in the other, and
+whenever he saw anybody else with a little tumbler, no matter who it
+was,--the military character with the tags, or the inn-servants at their
+supper in the courtyard, or townspeople a chatting on a bench, or country
+people a starting home after market,--down rushes the Major to clink his
+glass against their glasses and cry,--Hola! Vive Somebody! or Vive
+Something! as if he was beside himself. And though I could not quite
+approve of the Major's doing it, still the ways of the world are the ways
+of the world varying according to the different parts of it, and dancing
+at all in the open Square with a lady that kept a barber's shop my
+opinion is that the Major was right to dance his best and to lead off
+with a power that I did not think was in him, though I was a little
+uneasy at the Barricading sound of the cries that were set up by the
+other dancers and the rest of the company, until when I says "What are
+they ever calling out Jemmy?" Jemmy says, "They're calling out Gran,
+Bravo the Military English! Bravo the Military English!" which was very
+gratifying to my feelings as a Briton and became the name the Major was
+known by.
+
+But every evening at a regular time we all three sat out in the balcony
+of the hotel at the end of the courtyard, looking up at the golden and
+rosy light as it changed on the great towers, and looking at the shadows
+of the towers as they changed on all about us ourselves included, and
+what do you think we did there? My dear, if Jemmy hadn't brought some
+other of those stories of the Major's taking down from the telling of
+former lodgers at Eighty-one Norfolk Street, and if he didn't bring 'em
+out with this speech:
+
+"Here you are Gran! Here you are godfather! More of 'em! I'll read.
+And though you wrote 'em for me, godfather, I know you won't disapprove
+of my making 'em over to Gran; will you?"
+
+"No, my dear boy," says the Major. "Everything we have is hers, and we
+are hers."
+
+"Hers ever affectionately and devotedly J. Jackman, and J. Jackman
+Lirriper," cries the Young Rogue giving me a close hug. "Very well then
+godfather. Look here. As Gran is in the Legacy way just now, I shall
+make these stories a part of Gran's Legacy. I'll leave 'em to her. What
+do you say godfather?"
+
+"Hip hip Hurrah!" says the Major.
+
+"Very well then," cries Jemmy all in a bustle. "Vive the Military
+English! Vive the Lady Lirriper! Vive the Jemmy Jackman Ditto! Vive
+the Legacy! Now, you look out, Gran. And you look out, godfather.
+_I'll_ read! And I'll tell you what I'll do besides. On the last night
+of our holiday here when we are all packed and going away, I'll top up
+with something of my own."
+
+"Mind you do sir" says I.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II--MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW JEMMY TOPPED UP
+
+
+Well my dear and so the evening readings of those jottings of the Major's
+brought us round at last to the evening when we were all packed and going
+away next day, and I do assure you that by that time though it was
+deliciously comfortable to look forward to the dear old house in Norfolk
+Street again, I had formed quite a high opinion of the French nation and
+had noticed them to be much more homely and domestic in their families
+and far more simple and amiable in their lives than I had ever been led
+to expect, and it did strike me between ourselves that in one particular
+they might be imitated to advantage by another nation which I will not
+mention, and that is in the courage with which they take their little
+enjoyments on little means and with little things and don't let solemn
+big-wigs stare them out of countenance or speechify them dull, of which
+said solemn big-wigs I have ever had the one opinion that I wish they
+were all made comfortable separately in coppers with the lids on and
+never let out any more.
+
+"Now young man," I says to Jemmy when we brought our chairs into the
+balcony that last evening, "you please to remember who was to 'top up.'"
+
+"All right Gran" says Jemmy. "I am the illustrious personage."
+
+But he looked so serious after he had made me that light answer, that the
+Major raised his eyebrows at me and I raised mine at the Major.
+
+"Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, "you can hardly think how much my mind
+has run on Mr. Edson's death."
+
+It gave me a little check. "Ah! it was a sad scene my love" I says, "and
+sad remembrances come back stronger than merry. But this" I says after a
+little silence, to rouse myself and the Major and Jemmy all together, "is
+not topping up. Tell us your story my dear."
+
+"I will" says Jemmy.
+
+"What is the date sir?" says I. "Once upon a time when pigs drank wine?"
+
+"No Gran," says Jemmy, still serious; "once upon a time when the French
+drank wine."
+
+Again I glanced at the Major, and the Major glanced at me.
+
+"In short, Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, looking up, "the date is this
+time, and I'm going to tell you Mr. Edson's story."
+
+The flutter that it threw me into. The change of colour on the part of
+the Major!
+
+"That is to say, you understand," our bright-eyed boy says, "I am going
+to give you my version of it. I shall not ask whether it's right or not,
+firstly because you said you knew very little about it, Gran, and
+secondly because what little you did know was a secret."
+
+I folded my hands in my lap and I never took my eyes off Jemmy as he went
+running on.
+
+"The unfortunate gentleman" Jemmy commences, "who is the subject of our
+present narrative was the son of Somebody, and was born Somewhere, and
+chose a profession Somehow. It is not with those parts of his career
+that we have to deal; but with his early attachment to a young and
+beautiful lady."
+
+I thought I should have dropped. I durstn't look at the Major; but I
+know what his state was, without looking at him.
+
+"The father of our ill-starred hero" says Jemmy, copying as it seemed to
+me the style of some of his story-books, "was a worldly man who
+entertained ambitious views for his only son and who firmly set his face
+against the contemplated alliance with a virtuous but penniless orphan.
+Indeed he went so far as roundly to assure our hero that unless he weaned
+his thoughts from the object of his devoted affection, he would
+disinherit him. At the same time, he proposed as a suitable match the
+daughter of a neighbouring gentleman of a good estate, who was neither
+ill-favoured nor unamiable, and whose eligibility in a pecuniary point of
+view could not be disputed. But young Mr. Edson, true to the first and
+only love that had inflamed his breast, rejected all considerations of
+self-advancement, and, deprecating his father's anger in a respectful
+letter, ran away with her."
+
+My dear I had begun to take a turn for the better, but when it come to
+running away I began to take another turn for the worse.
+
+"The lovers" says Jemmy "fled to London and were united at the altar of
+Saint Clement's Danes. And it is at this period of their simple but
+touching story that we find them inmates of the dwelling of a
+highly-respected and beloved lady of the name of Gran, residing within a
+hundred miles of Norfolk Street."
+
+I felt that we were almost safe now, I felt that the dear boy had no
+suspicion of the bitter truth, and I looked at the Major for the first
+time and drew a long breath. The Major gave me a nod.
+
+"Our hero's father" Jemmy goes on "proving implacable and carrying his
+threat into unrelenting execution, the struggles of the young couple in
+London were severe, and would have been far more so, but for their good
+angel's having conducted them to the abode of Mrs. Gran; who, divining
+their poverty (in spite of their endeavours to conceal it from her), by a
+thousand delicate arts smoothed their rough way, and alleviated the
+sharpness of their first distress."
+
+Here Jemmy took one of my hands in one of his, and began a marking the
+turns of his story by making me give a beat from time to time upon his
+other hand.
+
+"After a while, they left the house of Mrs. Gran, and pursued their
+fortunes through a variety of successes and failures elsewhere. But in
+all reverses, whether for good or evil, the words of Mr. Edson to the
+fair young partner of his life were, 'Unchanging Love and Truth will
+carry us through all!'"
+
+My hand trembled in the dear boy's, those words were so wofully unlike
+the fact.
+
+"Unchanging Love and Truth" says Jemmy over again, as if he had a proud
+kind of a noble pleasure in it, "will carry us through all! Those were
+his words. And so they fought their way, poor but gallant and happy,
+until Mrs. Edson gave birth to a child."
+
+"A daughter," I says.
+
+"No," says Jemmy, "a son. And the father was so proud of it that he
+could hardly bear it out of his sight. But a dark cloud overspread the
+scene. Mrs. Edson sickened, drooped, and died."
+
+"Ah! Sickened, drooped, and died!" I says.
+
+"And so Mr. Edson's only comfort, only hope on earth, and only stimulus
+to action, was his darling boy. As the child grew older, he grew so like
+his mother that he was her living picture. It used to make him wonder
+why his father cried when he kissed him. But unhappily he was like his
+mother in constitution as well as in face, and lo, died too before he had
+grown out of childhood. Then Mr. Edson, who had good abilities, in his
+forlornness and despair, threw them all to the winds. He became
+apathetic, reckless, lost. Little by little he sank down, down, down,
+down, until at last he almost lived (I think) by gaming. And so sickness
+overtook him in the town of Sens in France, and he lay down to die. But
+now that he laid him down when all was done, and looked back upon the
+green Past beyond the time when he had covered it with ashes, he thought
+gratefully of the good Mrs. Gran long lost sight of, who had been so kind
+to him and his young wife in the early days of their marriage, and he
+left the little that he had as a last Legacy to her. And she, being
+brought to see him, at first no more knew him than she would know from
+seeing the ruin of a Greek or Roman Temple, what it used to be before it
+fell; but at length she remembered him. And then he told her, with
+tears, of his regret for the misspent part of his life, and besought her
+to think as mildly of it as she could, because it was the poor fallen
+Angel of his unchanging Love and Constancy after all. And because she
+had her grandson with her, and he fancied that his own boy, if he had
+lived, might have grown to be something like him, he asked her to let him
+touch his forehead with his cheek and say certain parting words."
+
+Jemmy's voice sank low when it got to that, and tears filled my eyes, and
+filled the Major's.
+
+"You little Conjurer" I says, "how did you ever make it all out? Go in
+and write it every word down, for it's a wonder."
+
+Which Jemmy did, and I have repeated it to you my dear from his writing.
+
+Then the Major took my hand and kissed it, and said, "Dearest madam all
+has prospered with us."
+
+"Ah Major" I says drying my eyes, "we needn't have been afraid. We might
+have known it. Treachery don't come natural to beaming youth; but trust
+and pity, love and constancy,--they do, thank God!"
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY***
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