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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/1421-h.zip b/1421-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..badd87f --- /dev/null +++ b/1421-h.zip diff --git a/1421-h/1421-h.htm b/1421-h/1421-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..653633f --- /dev/null +++ b/1421-h/1421-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1483 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" /> +<title>Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy</title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + P { margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + H1, H2 { + text-align: center; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + } + H3, H4 { + text-align: left; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + } + BODY{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + .blkquot {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */ + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<h2> +<a href="#startoftext">Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, by Charles Dickens</a> +</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, by Charles Dickens + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy + + +Author: Charles Dickens + +Release Date: April 3, 2005 [eBook #1421] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY*** +</pre> +<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p> +<p>Transcribed from the 1894 Chapman and Hall “Christmas Stories” +edition by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk</p> +<h1>MRS. LIRRIPER’S LEGACY</h1> +<h2>CHAPTER I—MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW SHE WENT ON, AND WENT +OVER</h2> +<p>Ah! It’s pleasant to drop into my own easy-chair my dear +though a little palpitating what with trotting up-stairs and what with +trotting down, and why kitchen stairs should all be corner stairs is +for the builders to justify though I do not think they fully understand +their trade and never did, else why the sameness and why not more conveniences +and fewer draughts and likewise making a practice of laying the plaster +on too thick I am well convinced which holds the damp, and as to chimney-pots +putting them on by guess-work like hats at a party and no more knowing +what their effect will be upon the smoke bless you than I do if so much, +except that it will mostly be either to send it down your throat in +a straight form or give it a twist before it goes there. And what +I says speaking as I find of those new metal chimneys all manner of +shapes (there’s a row of ’em at Miss Wozenham’s lodging-house +lower down on the other side of the way) is that they only work your +smoke into artificial patterns for you before you swallow it and that +I’d quite as soon swallow mine plain, the flavour being the same, +not to mention the conceit of putting up signs on the top of your house +to show the forms in which you take your smoke into your inside.</p> +<p>Being here before your eyes my dear in my own easy-chair in my own +quiet room in my own Lodging-House Number Eighty-one Norfolk Street +Strand London situated midway between the City and St. James’s—if +anything is where it used to be with these hotels calling themselves +Limited but called unlimited by Major Jackman rising up everywhere and +rising up into flagstaffs where they can’t go any higher, but +my mind of those monsters is give me a landlord’s or landlady’s +wholesome face when I come off a journey and not a brass plate with +an electrified number clicking out of it which it’s not in nature +can be glad to see me and to which I don’t want to be hoisted +like molasses at the Docks and left there telegraphing for help with +the most ingenious instruments but quite in vain—being here my +dear I have no call to mention that I am still in the Lodgings as a +business hoping to die in the same and if agreeable to the clergy partly +read over at Saint Clement’s Danes and concluded in Hatfield churchyard +when lying once again by my poor Lirriper ashes to ashes and dust to +dust.</p> +<p>Neither should I tell you any news my dear in telling you that the +Major is still a fixture in the Parlours quite as much so as the roof +of the house, and that Jemmy is of boys the best and brightest and has +ever had kept from him the cruel story of his poor pretty young mother +Mrs. Edson being deserted in the second floor and dying in my arms, +fully believing that I am his born Gran and him an orphan, though what +with engineering since he took a taste for it and him and the Major +making Locomotives out of parasols broken iron pots and cotton-reels +and them absolutely a getting off the line and falling over the table +and injuring the passengers almost equal to the originals it really +is quite wonderful. And when I says to the Major, “Major +can’t you by <i>any</i> means give us a communication with the +guard?” the Major says quite huffy, “No madam it’s +not to be done,” and when I says “Why not?” the Major +says, “That is between us who are in the Railway Interest madam +and our friend the Right Honourable Vice-President of the Board of Trade” +and if you’ll believe me my dear the Major wrote to Jemmy at school +to consult him on the answer I should have before I could get even that +amount of unsatisfactoriness out of the man, the reason being that when +we first began with the little model and the working signals beautiful +and perfect (being in general as wrong as the real) and when I says +laughing “What appointment am I to hold in this undertaking gentlemen?” +Jemmy hugs me round the neck and tells me dancing, “You shall +be the Public Gran” and consequently they put upon me just as +much as ever they like and I sit a growling in my easy-chair.</p> +<p>My dear whether it is that a grown man as clever as the Major cannot +give half his heart and mind to anything—even a plaything—but +must get into right down earnest with it, whether it is so or whether +it is not so I do not undertake to say, but Jemmy is far out-done by +the serious and believing ways of the Major in the management of the +United Grand Junction Lirriper and Jackman Great Norfolk Parlour Line, +“For” says my Jemmy with the sparkling eyes when it was +christened, “we must have a whole mouthful of name Gran or our +dear old Public” and there the young rogue kissed me, “won’t +stump up.” So the Public took the shares—ten at ninepence, +and immediately when that was spent twelve Preference at one and sixpence—and +they were all signed by Jemmy and countersigned by the Major, and between +ourselves much better worth the money than some shares I have paid for +in my time. In the same holidays the line was made and worked +and opened and ran excursions and had collisions and burst its boilers +and all sorts of accidents and offences all most regular correct and +pretty. The sense of responsibility entertained by the Major as +a military style of station-master my dear starting the down train behind +time and ringing one of those little bells that you buy with the little +coal-scuttles off the tray round the man’s neck in the street +did him honour, but noticing the Major of a night when he is writing +out his monthly report to Jemmy at school of the state of the Rolling +Stock and the Permanent Way and all the rest of it (the whole kept upon +the Major’s sideboard and dusted with his own hands every morning +before varnishing his boots) I notice him as full of thought and care +as full can be and frowning in a fearful manner, but indeed the Major +does nothing by halves as witness his great delight in going out surveying +with Jemmy when he has Jemmy to go with, carrying a chain and a measuring-tape +and driving I don’t know what improvements right through Westminster +Abbey and fully believed in the streets to be knocking everything upside +down by Act of Parliament. As please Heaven will come to pass +when Jemmy takes to that as a profession!</p> +<p>Mentioning my poor Lirriper brings into my head his own youngest +brother the Doctor though Doctor of what I am sure it would be hard +to say unless Liquor, for neither Physic nor Music nor yet Law does +Joshua Lirriper know a morsel of except continually being summoned to +the County Court and having orders made upon him which he runs away +from, and once was taken in the passage of this very house with an umbrella +up and the Major’s hat on, giving his name with the door-mat round +him as Sir Johnson Jones, K.C.B. in spectacles residing at the Horse +Guards. On which occasion he had got into the house not a minute +before, through the girl letting him on the mat when he sent in a piece +of paper twisted more like one of those spills for lighting candles +than a note, offering me the choice between thirty shillings in hand +and his brains on the premises marked immediate and waiting for an answer. +My dear it gave me such a dreadful turn to think of the brains of my +poor dear Lirriper’s own flesh and blood flying about the new +oilcloth however unworthy to be so assisted, that I went out of my room +here to ask him what he would take once for all not to do it for life +when I found him in the custody of two gentlemen that I should have +judged to be in the feather-bed trade if they had not announced the +law, so fluffy were their personal appearance. “Bring your +chains, sir,” says Joshua to the littlest of the two in the biggest +hat, “rivet on my fetters!” Imagine my feelings when +I pictered him clanking up Norfolk Street in irons and Miss Wozenham +looking out of window! “Gentlemen,” I says all of +a tremble and ready to drop “please to bring him into Major Jackman’s +apartments.” So they brought him into the Parlours, and +when the Major spies his own curly-brimmed hat on him which Joshua Lirriper +had whipped off its peg in the passage for a military disguise he goes +into such a tearing passion that he tips it off his head with his hand +and kicks it up to the ceiling with his foot where it grazed long afterwards. +“Major” I says “be cool and advise me what to do with +Joshua my dead and gone Lirriper’s own youngest brother.” +“Madam” says the Major “my advice is that you board +and lodge him in a Powder Mill, with a handsome gratuity to the proprietor +when exploded.” “Major” I says “as a Christian +you cannot mean your words.” “Madam” says the +Major “by the Lord I do!” and indeed the Major besides being +with all his merits a very passionate man for his size had a bad opinion +of Joshua on account of former troubles even unattended by liberties +taken with his apparel. When Joshua Lirriper hears this conversation +betwixt us he turns upon the littlest one with the biggest hat and says +“Come sir! Remove me to my vile dungeon. Where is +my mouldy straw?” My dear at the picter of him rising in +my mind dressed almost entirely in padlocks like Baron Trenck in Jemmy’s +book I was so overcome that I burst into tears and I says to the Major, +“Major take my keys and settle with these gentlemen or I shall +never know a happy minute more,” which was done several times +both before and since, but still I must remember that Joshua Lirriper +has his good feelings and shows them in being always so troubled in +his mind when he cannot wear mourning for his brother. Many a +long year have I left off my widow’s mourning not being wishful +to intrude, but the tender point in Joshua that I cannot help a little +yielding to is when he writes “One single sovereign would enable +me to wear a decent suit of mourning for my much-loved brother. +I vowed at the time of his lamented death that I would ever wear sables +in memory of him but Alas how short-sighted is man, How keep that vow +when penniless!” It says a good deal for the strength of +his feelings that he couldn’t have been seven year old when my +poor Lirriper died and to have kept to it ever since is highly creditable. +But we know there’s good in all of us,—if we only knew where +it was in some of us,—and though it was far from delicate in Joshua +to work upon the dear child’s feelings when first sent to school +and write down into Lincolnshire for his pocket-money by return of post +and got it, still he is my poor Lirriper’s own youngest brother +and mightn’t have meant not paying his bill at the Salisbury Arms +when his affection took him down to stay a fortnight at Hatfield churchyard +and might have meant to keep sober but for bad company. Consequently +if the Major <i>had</i> played on him with the garden-engine which he +got privately into his room without my knowing of it, I think that much +as I should have regretted it there would have been words betwixt the +Major and me. Therefore my dear though he played on Mr. Buffle +by mistake being hot in his head, and though it might have been misrepresented +down at Wozenham’s into not being ready for Mr. Buffle in other +respects he being the Assessed Taxes, still I do not so much regret +it as perhaps I ought. And whether Joshua Lirriper will yet do +well in life I cannot say, but I did hear of his coming, out at a Private +Theatre in the character of a Bandit without receiving any offers afterwards +from the regular managers.</p> +<p>Mentioning Mr. Baffle gives an instance of there being good in persons +where good is not expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr. Buffle’s +manners when engaged in his business were not agreeable. To collect +is one thing, and to look about as if suspicious of the goods being +gradually removing in the dead of the night by a back door is another, +over taxing you have no control but suspecting is voluntary. Allowances +too must ever be made for a gentleman of the Major’s warmth not +relishing being spoke to with a pen in the mouth, and while I do not +know that it is more irritable to my own feelings to have a low-crowned +hat with a broad brim kept on in doors than any other hat still I can +appreciate the Major’s, besides which without bearing malice or +vengeance the Major is a man that scores up arrears as his habit always +was with Joshua Lirriper. So at last my dear the Major lay in +wait for Mr. Buffle, and it worrited me a good deal. Mr. Buffle +gives his rap of two sharp knocks one day and the Major bounces to the +door. “Collector has called for two quarters’ Assessed +Taxes” says Mr. Buffle. “They are ready for him” +says the Major and brings him in here. But on the way Mr. Buffle +looks about him in his usual suspicious manner and the Major fires and +asks him “Do you see a Ghost sir?” “No sir” +says Mr. Buffle. “Because I have before noticed you” +says the Major “apparently looking for a spectre very hard beneath +the roof of my respected friend. When you find that supernatural +agent, be so good as point him out sir.” Mr. Buffle stares +at the Major and then nods at me. “Mrs. Lirriper sir” +says the Major going off into a perfect steam and introducing me with +his hand. “Pleasure of knowing her” says Mr. Buffle. +“A—hum!—Jemmy Jackman sir!” says the Major introducing +himself. “Honour of knowing you by sight” says Mr. +Buffle. “Jemmy Jackman sir” says the Major wagging +his head sideways in a sort of obstinate fury “presents to you +his esteemed friend that lady Mrs. Emma Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk +Street Strand London in the County of Middlesex in the United Kingdom +of Great Britain and Ireland. Upon which occasion sir,” +says the Major, “Jemmy Jackman takes your hat off.” +Mr. Buffle looks at his hat where the Major drops it on the floor, and +he picks it up and puts it on again. “Sir” says the +Major very red and looking him full in the face “there are two +quarters of the Gallantry Taxes due and the Collector has called.” +Upon which if you can believe my words my dear the Major drops Mr. Buffle’s +hat off again. “This—” Mr. Buffle begins very +angry with his pen in his mouth, when the Major steaming more and more +says “Take your bit out sir! Or by the whole infernal system +of Taxation of this country and every individual figure in the National +Debt, I’ll get upon your back and ride you like a horse!” +which it’s my belief he would have done and even actually jerking +his neat little legs ready for a spring as it was. “This,” +says Mr. Buffle without his pen “is an assault and I’ll +have the law of you.” “Sir” replies the Major +“if you are a man of honour, your Collector of whatever may be +due on the Honourable Assessment by applying to Major Jackman at the +Parlours Mrs. Lirriper’s Lodgings, may obtain what he wants in +full at any moment.”</p> +<p>When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with those meaning words my dear +I literally gasped for a teaspoonful of salvolatile in a wine-glass +of water, and I says “Pray let it go no farther gentlemen I beg +and beseech of you!” But the Major could be got to do nothing +else but snort long after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the effect it had +upon my whole mass of blood when on the next day of Mr. Buffle’s +rounds the Major spruced himself up and went humming a tune up and down +the street with one eye almost obliterated by his hat there are not +expressions in Johnson’s Dictionary to state. But I safely +put the street door on the jar and got behind the Major’s blinds +with my shawl on and my mind made up the moment I saw danger to rush +out screeching till my voice failed me and catch the Major round the +neck till my strength went and have all parties bound. I had not +been behind the blinds a quarter of an hour when I saw Mr. Buffle approaching +with his Collecting-books in his hand. The Major likewise saw +him approaching and hummed louder and himself approached. They +met before the Airy railings. The Major takes off his hat at arm’s +length and says “Mr. Buffle I believe?” Mr. Buffle +takes off <i>his</i> hat at arm’s length and says “That +is my name sir.” Says the Major “Have you any commands +for me, Mr. Buffle?” Says Mr. Buffle “Not any sir.” +Then my dear both of ’em bowed very low and haughty and parted, +and whenever Mr. Buffle made his rounds in future him and the Major +always met and bowed before the Airy railings, putting me much in mind +of Hamlet and the other gentleman in mourning before killing one another, +though I could have wished the other gentleman had done it fairer and +even if less polite no poison.</p> +<p>Mr. Buffle’s family were not liked in this neighbourhood, for +when you are a householder my dear you’ll find it does not come +by nature to like the Assessed, and it was considered besides that a +one-horse pheayton ought not to have elevated Mrs. Buffle to that height +especially when purloined from the Taxes which I myself did consider +uncharitable. But they were <i>not</i> liked and there was that +domestic unhappiness in the family in consequence of their both being +very hard with Miss Buffle and one another on account of Miss Buffle’s +favouring Mr. Buffle’s articled young gentleman, that it <i>was</i> +whispered that Miss Buffle would go either into a consumption or a convent +she being so very thin and off her appetite and two close-shaved gentlemen +with white bands round their necks peeping round the corner whenever +she went out in waistcoats resembling black pinafores. So things +stood towards Mr. Buffle when one night I was woke by a frightful noise +and a smell of burning, and going to my bedroom window saw the whole +street in a glow. Fortunately we had two sets empty just then +and before I could hurry on some clothes I heard the Major hammering +at the attics’ doors and calling out “Dress yourselves!—Fire! +Don’t be frightened!—Fire! Collect your presence of +mind!—Fire! All right—Fire!” most tremenjously. +As I opened my bedroom door the Major came tumbling in over himself +and me, and caught me in his arms. “Major” I says +breathless “where is it?” “I don’t know +dearest madam” says the Major—“Fire! Jemmy Jackman +will defend you to the last drop of his blood—Fire! If the +dear boy was at home what a treat this would be for him—Fire!” +and altogether very collected and bold except that he couldn’t +say a single sentence without shaking me to the very centre with roaring +Fire. We ran down to the drawing-room and put our heads out of +window, and the Major calls to an unfeeling young monkey, scampering +by be joyful and ready to split “Where is it?—Fire!” +The monkey answers without stopping “O here’s a lark! +Old Buffle’s been setting his house alight to prevent its being +found out that he boned the Taxes. Hurrah! Fire!” +And then the sparks came flying up and the smoke came pouring down and +the crackling of flames and spatting of water and banging of engines +and hacking of axes and breaking of glass and knocking at doors and +the shouting and crying and hurrying and the heat and altogether gave +me a dreadful palpitation. “Don’t be frightened dearest +madam,” says the Major, “—Fire! There’s +nothing to be alarmed at—Fire! Don’t open the street +door till I come back—Fire! I’ll go and see if I can +be of any service—Fire! You’re quite composed and +comfortable ain’t you?—Fire, Fire, Fire!” It +was in vain for me to hold the man and tell him he’d be galloped +to death by the engines—pumped to death by his over-exertions—wet-feeted +to death by the slop and mess—flattened to death when the roofs +fell in—his spirit was up and he went scampering off after the +young monkey with all the breath he had and none to spare, and me and +the girls huddled together at the parlour windows looking at the dreadful +flames above the houses over the way, Mr. Buffle’s being round +the corner. Presently what should we see but some people running +down the street straight to our door, and then the Major directing operations +in the busiest way, and then some more people and then—carried +in a chair similar to Guy Fawkes—Mr. Buffle in a blanket!</p> +<p>My dear the Major has Mr. Buffle brought up our steps and whisked +into the parlour and carted out on the sofy, and then he and all the +rest of them without so much as a word burst away again full speed leaving +the impression of a vision except for Mr. Buffle awful in his blanket +with his eyes a rolling. In a twinkling they all burst back again +with Mrs. Buffle in another blanket, which whisked in and carted out +on the sofy they all burst off again and all burst back again with Miss +Buffle in another blanket, which again whisked in and carted out they +all burst off again and all burst back again with Mr. Buffle’s +articled young gentleman in another blanket—him a holding round +the necks of two men carrying him by the legs, similar to the picter +of the disgraceful creetur who has lost the fight (but where the chair +I do not know) and his hair having the appearance of newly played upon. +When all four of a row, the Major rubs his hands and whispers me with +what little hoarseness he can get together, “If our dear remarkable +boy was only at home what a delightful treat this would be for him!”</p> +<p>My dear we made them some hot tea and toast and some hot brandy-and-water +with a little comfortable nutmeg in it, and at first they were scared +and low in their spirits but being fully insured got sociable. +And the first use Mr. Buffle made of his tongue was to call the Major +his Preserver and his best of friends and to say “My for ever +dearest sir let me make you known to Mrs. Buffle” which also addressed +him as her Preserver and her best of friends and was fully as cordial +as the blanket would admit of. Also Miss Buffle. The articled +young gentleman’s head was a little light and he sat a moaning +“Robina is reduced to cinders, Robina is reduced to cinders!” +Which went more to the heart on account of his having got wrapped in +his blanket as if he was looking out of a violinceller case, until Mr. +Buffle says “Robina speak to him!” Miss Buffle says +“Dear George!” and but for the Major’s pouring down +brandy-and-water on the instant which caused a catching in his throat +owing to the nutmeg and a violent fit of coughing it might have proved +too much for his strength. When the articled young gentleman got +the better of it Mr. Buffle leaned up against Mrs. Buffle being two +bundles, a little while in confidence, and then says with tears in his +eyes which the Major noticing wiped, “We have not been an united +family, let us after this danger become so, take her George.” +The young gentleman could not put his arm out far to do it, but his +spoken expressions were very beautiful though of a wandering class. +And I do not know that I ever had a much pleasanter meal than the breakfast +we took together after we had all dozed, when Miss Buffle made tea very +sweetly in quite the Roman style as depicted formerly at Covent Garden +Theatre and when the whole family was most agreeable, as they have ever +proved since that night when the Major stood at the foot of the Fire-Escape +and claimed them as they came down—the young gentleman head-foremost, +which accounts. And though I do not say that we should be less +liable to think ill of one another if strictly limited to blankets, +still I do say that we might most of us come to a better understanding +if we kept one another less at a distance.</p> +<p>Why there’s Wozenham’s lower down on the other side of +the street. I had a feeling of much soreness several years respecting +what I must still ever call Miss Wozenham’s systematic underbidding +and the likeness of the house in Bradshaw having far too many windows +and a most umbrageous and outrageous Oak which never yet was seen in +Norfolk Street nor yet a carriage and four at Wozenham’s door, +which it would have been far more to Bradshaw’s credit to have +drawn a cab. This frame of mind continued bitter down to the very +afternoon in January last when one of my girls, Sally Rairyganoo which +I still suspect of Irish extraction though family represented Cambridge, +else why abscond with a bricklayer of the Limerick persuasion and be +married in pattens not waiting till his black eye was decently got round +with all the company fourteen in number and one horse fighting outside +on the roof of the vehicle,—I repeat my dear my ill-regulated +state of mind towards Miss Wozenham continued down to the very afternoon +of January last past when Sally Rairyganoo came banging (I can use no +milder expression) into my room with a jump which may be Cambridge and +may not, and said “Hurroo Missis! Miss Wozenham’s +sold up!” My dear when I had it thrown in my face and conscience +that the girl Sally had reason to think I could be glad of the ruin +of a fellow-creeter, I burst into tears and dropped back in my chair +and I says “I am ashamed of myself!”</p> +<p>Well! I tried to settle to my tea but I could not do it what +with thinking of Miss Wozenham and her distresses. It was a wretched +night and I went up to a front window and looked over at Wozenham’s +and as well as I could make it out down the street in the fog it was +the dismallest of the dismal and not a light to be seen. So at +last I save to myself “This will not do,” and I puts on +my oldest bonnet and shawl not wishing Miss Wozenham to be reminded +of my best at such a time, and lo and behold you I goes over to Wozenham’s +and knocks. “Miss Wozenham at home?” I says turning +my head when I heard the door go. And then I saw it was Miss Wozenham +herself who had opened it and sadly worn she was poor thing and her +eyes all swelled and swelled with crying. “Miss Wozenham” +I says “it is several years since there was a little unpleasantness +betwixt us on the subject of my grandson’s cap being down your +Airy. I have overlooked it and I hope you have done the same.” +“Yes Mrs. Lirriper” she says in a surprise, “I have.” +“Then my dear” I says “I should be glad to come in +and speak a word to you.” Upon my calling her my dear Miss +Wozenham breaks out a crying most pitiful, and a not unfeeling elderly +person that might have been better shaved in a nightcap with a hat over +it offering a polite apology for the mumps having worked themselves +into his constitution, and also for sending home to his wife on the +bellows which was in his hand as a writing-desk, looks out of the back +parlour and says “The lady wants a word of comfort” and +goes in again. So I was able to say quite natural “Wants +a word of comfort does she sir? Then please the pigs she shall +have it!” And Miss Wozenham and me we go into the front +room with a wretched light that seemed to have been crying too and was +sputtering out, and I says “Now my dear, tell me all,” and +she wrings her hands and says “O Mrs. Lirriper that man is in +possession here, and I have not a friend in the world who is able to +help me with a shilling.”</p> +<p>It doesn’t signify a bit what a talkative old body like me +said to Miss Wozenham when she said that, and so I’ll tell you +instead my dear that I’d have given thirty shillings to have taken +her over to tea, only I durstn’t on account of the Major. +Not you see but what I knew I could draw the Major out like thread and +wind him round my finger on most subjects and perhaps even on that if +I was to set myself to it, but him and me had so often belied Miss Wozenham +to one another that I was shamefaced, and I knew she had offended his +pride and never mine, and likewise I felt timid that that Rairyganoo +girl might make things awkward. So I says “My dear if you +could give me a cup of tea to clear my muddle of a head I should better +understand your affairs.” And we had the tea and the affairs +too and after all it was but forty pound, and—There! she’s +as industrious and straight a creeter as ever lived and has paid back +half of it already, and where’s the use of saying more, particularly +when it ain’t the point? For the point is that when she +was a kissing my hands and holding them in hers and kissing them again +and blessing blessing blessing, I cheered up at last and I says “Why +what a waddling old goose I have been my dear to take you for something +so very different!” “Ah but I too” says she +“how have <i>I</i> mistaken <i>you</i>!” “Come +for goodness’ sake tell me” I says “what you thought +of me?” “O” says she “I thought you had +no feeling for such a hard hand-to-mouth life as mine, and were rolling +in affluence.” I says shaking my sides (and very glad to +do it for I had been a choking quite long enough) “Only look at +my figure my dear and give me your opinion whether if I was in affluence +I should be likely to roll in it?” That did it? We +got as merry as grigs (whatever <i>they</i> are, if you happen to know +my dear—<i>I</i> don’t) and I went home to my blessed home +as happy and as thankful as could be. But before I make an end +of it, think even of my having misunderstood the Major! Yes! +For next forenoon the Major came into my little room with his brushed +hat in his hand and he begins “My dearest madam—” +and then put his face in his hat as if he had just come into church. +As I sat all in a maze he came out of his hat and began again. +“My esteemed and beloved friend—” and then went into +his hat again. “Major,” I cries out frightened “has +anything happened to our darling boy?” “No, no, no” +says the Major “but Miss Wozenham has been here this morning to +make her excuses to me, and by the Lord I can’t get over what +she told me.” “Hoity toity, Major,” I says “you +don’t know yet that I was afraid of you last night and didn’t +think half as well of you as I ought! So come out of church Major +and forgive me like a dear old friend and I’ll never do so any +more.” And I leave you to judge my dear whether I ever did +or will. And how affecting to think of Miss Wozenham out of her +small income and her losses doing so much for her poor old father, and +keeping a brother that had had the misfortune to soften his brain against +the hard mathematics as neat as a new pin in the three back represented +to lodgers as a lumber-room and consuming a whole shoulder of mutton +whenever provided!</p> +<p>And now my dear I really am a going to tell you about my Legacy if +you’re inclined to favour me with your attention, and I did fully +intend to have come straight to it only one thing does so bring up another. +It was the month of June and the day before Midsummer Day when my girl +Winifred Madgers—she was what is termed a Plymouth Sister, and +the Plymouth Brother that made away with her was quite right, for a +tidier young woman for a wife never came into a house and afterwards +called with the beautifullest Plymouth Twins—it was the day before +Midsummer Day when Winifred Madgers comes and says to me “A gentleman +from the Consul’s wishes particular to speak to Mrs. Lirriper.” +If you’ll believe me my dear the Consols at the bank where I have +a little matter for Jemmy got into my head, and I says “Good gracious +I hope he ain’t had any dreadful fall!” Says Winifred +“He don’t look as if he had ma’am.” And +I says “Show him in.”</p> +<p>The gentleman came in dark and with his hair cropped what I should +consider too close, and he says very polite “Madame Lirrwiper!” +I says, “Yes sir. Take a chair.” “I come,” +says he “frrwom the Frrwench Consul’s.” So I +saw at once that it wasn’t the Bank of England. “We +have rrweceived,” says the gentleman turning his r’s very +curious and skilful, “frrwom the Mairrwie at Sens, a communication +which I will have the honour to rrwead. Madame Lirrwiper understands +Frrwench?” “O dear no sir!” says I. “Madame +Lirriper don’t understand anything of the sort.” “It +matters not,” says the gentleman, “I will trrwanslate.”</p> +<p>With that my dear the gentleman after reading something about a Department +and a Marie (which Lord forgive me I supposed till the Major came home +was Mary, and never was I more puzzled than to think how that young +woman came to have so much to do with it) translated a lot with the +most obliging pains, and it came to this:—That in the town of +Sons in France an unknown Englishman lay a dying. That he was +speechless and without motion. That in his lodging there was a +gold watch and a purse containing such and such money and a trunk containing +such and such clothes, but no passport and no papers, except that on +his table was a pack of cards and that he had written in pencil on the +back of the ace of hearts: “To the authorities. When I am +dead, pray send what is left, as a last Legacy, to Mrs. Lirriper Eighty-one +Norfolk Street Strand London.” When the gentleman had explained +all this, which seemed to be drawn up much more methodical than I should +have given the French credit for, not at that time knowing the nation, +he put the document into my hand. And much the wiser I was for +that you may be sure, except that it had the look of being made out +upon grocery paper and was stamped all over with eagles.</p> +<p>“Does Madame Lirrwiper” says the gentleman “believe +she rrwecognises her unfortunate compatrrwiot?”</p> +<p>You may imagine the flurry it put me into my dear to be talked to +about my compatriots.</p> +<p>I says “Excuse me. Would you have the kindness sir to +make your language as simple as you can?”</p> +<p>“This Englishman unhappy, at the point of death. This +compatrrwiot afflicted,” says the gentleman.</p> +<p>“Thank you sir” I says “I understand you now. +No sir I have not the least idea who this can be.”</p> +<p>“Has Madame Lirrwiper no son, no nephew, no godson, no frrwiend, +no acquaintance of any kind in Frrwance?”</p> +<p>“To my certain knowledge” says I “no relation or +friend, and to the best of my belief no acquaintance.”</p> +<p>“Pardon me. You take Locataires?” says the gentleman.</p> +<p>My dear fully believing he was offering me something with his obliging +foreign manners,—snuff for anything I knew,—I gave a little +bend of my head and I says if you’ll credit it, “No I thank +you. I have not contracted the habit.”</p> +<p>The gentleman looks perplexed and says “Lodgers!”</p> +<p>“Oh!” says I laughing. “Bless the man! +Why yes to be sure!”</p> +<p>“May it not be a former lodger?” says the gentleman. +“Some lodger that you pardoned some rrwent? You have pardoned +lodgers some rrwent?”</p> +<p>“Hem! It has happened sir” says I, “but I +assure you I can call to mind no gentleman of that description that +this is at all likely to be.”</p> +<p>In short my dear, we could make nothing of it, and the gentleman +noted down what I said and went away. But he left me the paper +of which he had two with him, and when the Major came in I says to the +Major as I put it in his hand “Major here’s Old Moore’s +Almanac with the hieroglyphic complete, for your opinion.”</p> +<p>It took the Major a little longer to read than I should have thought, +judging from the copious flow with which he seemed to be gifted when +attacking the organ-men, but at last he got through it, and stood a +gazing at me in amazement.</p> +<p>“Major” I says “you’re paralysed.”</p> +<p>“Madam” says the Major, “Jemmy Jackman is doubled +up.”</p> +<p>Now it did so happen that the Major had been out to get a little +information about railroads and steamboats, as our boy was coming home +for his Midsummer holidays next day and we were going to take him somewhere +for a treat and a change. So while the Major stood a gazing it +came into my head to say to him “Major I wish you’d go and +look at some of your books and maps, and see whereabouts this same town +of Sens is in France.”</p> +<p>The Major he roused himself and he went into the Parlours and he +poked about a little, and he came back to me and he says, “Sens +my dearest madam is seventy-odd miles south of Paris.”</p> +<p>With what I may truly call a desperate effort “Major,” +I says “we’ll go there with our blessed boy.”</p> +<p>If ever the Major was beside himself it was at the thoughts of that +journey. All day long he was like the wild man of the woods after +meeting with an advertisement in the papers telling him something to +his advantage, and early next morning hours before Jemmy could possibly +come home he was outside in the street ready to call out to him that +we was all a going to France. Young Rosycheeks you may believe +was as wild as the Major, and they did carry on to that degree that +I says “If you two children ain’t more orderly I’ll +pack you both off to bed.” And then they fell to cleaning +up the Major’s telescope to see France with, and went out and +bought a leather bag with a snap to hang round Jemmy, and him to carry +the money like a little Fortunatus with his purse.</p> +<p>If I hadn’t passed my word and raised their hopes, I doubt +if I could have gone through with the undertaking but it was too late +to go back now. So on the second day after Midsummer Day we went +off by the morning mail. And when we came to the sea which I had +never seen but once in my life and that when my poor Lirriper was courting +me, the freshness of it and the deepness and the airiness and to think +that it had been rolling ever since and that it was always a rolling +and so few of us minding, made me feel quite serious. But I felt +happy too and so did Jemmy and the Major and not much motion on the +whole, though me with a swimming in the head and a sinking but able +to take notice that the foreign insides appear to be constructed hollower +than the English, leading to much more tremenjous noises when bad sailors.</p> +<p>But my dear the blueness and the lightness and the coloured look +of everything and the very sentry-boxes striped and the shining rattling +drums and the little soldiers with their waists and tidy gaiters, when +we got across to the Continent—it made me feel as if I don’t +know what—as if the atmosphere had been lifted off me. And +as to lunch why bless you if I kept a man-cook and two kitchen-maids +I couldn’t got it done for twice the money, and no injured young +woman a glaring at you and grudging you and acknowledging your patronage +by wishing that your food might choke you, but so civil and so hot and +attentive and every way comfortable except Jemmy pouring wine down his +throat by tumblers-full and me expecting to see him drop under the table.</p> +<p>And the way in which Jemmy spoke his French was a real charm. +It was often wanted of him, for whenever anybody spoke a syllable to +me I says “Non-comprenny, you’re very kind, but it’s +no use—Now Jemmy!” and then Jemmy he fires away at ’em +lovely, the only thing wanting in Jemmy’s French being as it appeared +to me that he hardly ever understood a word of what they said to him +which made it scarcely of the use it might have been though in other +respects a perfect Native, and regarding the Major’s fluency I +should have been of the opinion judging French by English that there +might have been a greater choice of words in the language though still +I must admit that if I hadn’t known him when he asked a military +gentleman in a gray cloak what o’clock it was I should have took +him for a Frenchman born.</p> +<p>Before going on to look after my Legacy we were to make one regular +day in Paris, and I leave you to judge my dear what a day <i>that</i> +was with Jemmy and the Major and the telescope and me and the prowling +young man at the inn door (but very civil too) that went along with +us to show the sights. All along the railway to Paris Jemmy and +the Major had been frightening me to death by stooping down on the platforms +at stations to inspect the engines underneath their mechanical stomachs, +and by creeping in and out I don’t know where all, to find improvements +for the United Grand Junction Parlour, but when we got out into the +brilliant streets on a bright morning they gave up all their London +improvements as a bad job and gave their minds to Paris. Says +the prowling young man to me “Will I speak Inglis No?” +So I says “If you can young man I shall take it as a favour,” +but after half-an-hour of it when I fully believed the man had gone +mad and me too I says “Be so good as fall back on your French +sir,” knowing that then I shouldn’t have the agonies of +trying to understand him, which was a happy release. Not that +I lost much more than the rest either, for I generally noticed that +when he had described something very long indeed and I says to Jemmy +“What does he say Jemmy?” Jemmy says looking with +vengeance in his eye “He is so jolly indistinct!” and that +when he had described it longer all over again and I says to Jemmy “Well +Jemmy what’s it all about?” Jemmy says “He says the +building was repaired in seventeen hundred and four, Gran.”</p> +<p>Wherever that prowling young man formed his prowling habits I cannot +be expected to know, but the way in which he went round the corner while +we had our breakfasts and was there again when we swallowed the last +crumb was most marvellous, and just the same at dinner and at night, +prowling equally at the theatre and the inn gateway and the shop doors +when we bought a trifle or two and everywhere else but troubled with +a tendency to spit. And of Paris I can tell you no more my dear +than that it’s town and country both in one, and carved stone +and long streets of high houses and gardens and fountains and statues +and trees and gold, and immensely big soldiers and immensely little +soldiers and the pleasantest nurses with the whitest caps a playing +at skipping-rope with the bunchiest babies in the flattest caps, and +clean table-cloths spread everywhere for dinner and people sitting out +of doors smoking and sipping all day long and little plays being acted +in the open air for little people and every shop a complete and elegant +room, and everybody seeming to play at everything in this world. +And as to the sparkling lights my dear after dark, glittering high up +and low down and on before and on behind and all round, and the crowd +of theatres and the crowd of people and the crowd of all sorts, it’s +pure enchantment. And pretty well the only thing that grated on +me was that whether you pay your fare at the railway or whether you +change your money at a money-dealer’s or whether you take your +ticket at the theatre, the lady or gentleman is caged up (I suppose +by government) behind the strongest iron bars having more of a Zoological +appearance than a free country.</p> +<p>Well to be sure when I did after all get my precious bones to bed +that night, and my Young Rogue came in to kiss me and asks “What +do you think of this lovely lovely Paris, Gran?” I says +“Jemmy I feel as if it was beautiful fireworks being let off in +my head.” And very cool and refreshing the pleasant country +was next day when we went on to look after my Legacy, and rested me +much and did me a deal of good.</p> +<p>So at length and at last my dear we come to Sens, a pretty little +town with a great two-towered cathedral and the rooks flying in and +out of the loopholes and another tower atop of one of the towers like +a sort of a stone pulpit. In which pulpit with the birds skimming +below him if you’ll believe me, I saw a speck while I was resting +at the inn before dinner which they made signs to me was Jemmy and which +really was. I had been a fancying as I sat in the balcony of the +hotel that an Angel might light there and call down to the people to +be good, but I little thought what Jemmy all unknown to himself was +a calling down from that high place to some one in the town.</p> +<p>The pleasantest-situated inn my dear! Right under the two towers, +with their shadows a changing upon it all day like a kind of a sundial, +and country people driving in and out of the courtyard in carts and +hooded cabriolets and such like, and a market outside in front of the +cathedral, and all so quaint and like a picter. The Major and +me agreed that whatever came of my Legacy this was the place to stay +in for our holiday, and we also agreed that our dear boy had best not +be checked in his joy that night by the sight of the Englishman if he +was still alive, but that we would go together and alone. For +you are to understand that the Major not feeling himself quite equal +in his wind to the height to which Jemmy had climbed, had come back +to me and left him with the Guide.</p> +<p>So after dinner when Jemmy had set off to see the river, the Major +went down to the Mairie, and presently came back with a military character +in a sword and spurs and a cocked hat and a yellow shoulder-belt and +long tags about him that he must have found inconvenient. And +the Major says “The Englishman still lies in the same state dearest +madam. This gentleman will conduct us to his lodging.” +Upon which the military character pulled off his cocked hat to me, and +I took notice that he had shaved his forehead in imitation of Napoleon +Bonaparte but not like.</p> +<p>We wont out at the courtyard gate and past the great doors of the +cathedral and down a narrow High Street where the people were sitting +chatting at their shop doors and the children were at play. The +military character went in front and he stopped at a pork-shop with +a little statue of a pig sitting up, in the window, and a private door +that a donkey was looking out of.</p> +<p>When the donkey saw the military character he came slipping out on +the pavement to turn round and then clattered along the passage into +a back yard. So the coast being clear, the Major and me were conducted +up the common stair and into the front room on the second, a bare room +with a red tiled floor and the outside lattice blinds pulled close to +darken it. As the military character opened the blinds I saw the +tower where I had seen Jemmy, darkening as the sun got low, and I turned +to the bed by the wall and saw the Englishman.</p> +<p>It was some kind of brain fever he had had, and his hair was all +gone, and some wetted folded linen lay upon his head. I looked +at him very attentive as he lay there all wasted away with his eyes +closed, and I says to the Major—</p> +<p>“<i>I</i> never saw this face before.”</p> +<p>The Major looked at him very attentive too, and he says “I +never saw this face before.”</p> +<p>When the Major explained our words to the military character, that +gentleman shrugged his shoulders and showed the Major the card on which +it was written about the Legacy for me. It had been written with +a weak and trembling hand in bed, and I knew no more of the writing +than of the face. Neither did the Major.</p> +<p>Though lying there alone, the poor creetur was as well taken care +of as could be hoped, and would have been quite unconscious of any one’s +sitting by him then. I got the Major to say that we were not going +away at present and that I would come back to-morrow and watch a bit +by the bedside. But I got him to add—and I shook my head +hard to make it stronger—“We agree that we never saw this +face before.”</p> +<p>Our boy was greatly surprised when we told him sitting out in the +balcony in the starlight, and he ran over some of those stories of former +Lodgers, of the Major’s putting down, and asked wasn’t it +possible that it might be this lodger or that lodger. It was not +possible, and we went to bed.</p> +<p>In the morning just at breakfast-time the military character came +jingling round, and said that the doctor thought from the signs he saw +there might be some rally before the end. So I says to the Major +and Jemmy, “You two boys go and enjoy yourselves, and I’ll +take my Prayer Book and go sit by the bed.” So I went, and +I sat there some hours, reading a prayer for him poor soul now and then, +and it was quite on in the day when he moved his hand.</p> +<p>He had been so still, that the moment he moved I knew of it, and +I pulled off my spectacles and laid down my book and rose and looked +at him. From moving one hand he began to move both, and then his +action was the action of a person groping in the dark. Long after +his eyes had opened, there was a film over them and he still felt for +his way out into light. But by slow degrees his sight cleared +and his hands stopped. He saw the ceiling, he saw the wall, he +saw me. As his sight cleared, mine cleared too, and when at last +we looked in one another’s faces, I started back, and I cries +passionately:</p> +<p>“O you wicked wicked man! Your sin has found you out!”</p> +<p>For I knew him, the moment life looked out of his eyes, to be Mr. +Edson, Jemmy’s father who had so cruelly deserted Jemmy’s +young unmarried mother who had died in my arms, poor tender creetur, +and left Jemmy to me.</p> +<p>“You cruel wicked man! You bad black traitor!”</p> +<p>With the little strength he had, he made an attempt to turn over +on his wretched face to hide it. His arm dropped out of the bed +and his head with it, and there he lay before me crushed in body and +in mind. Surely the miserablest sight under the summer sun!</p> +<p>“O blessed Heaven,” I says a crying, “teach me +what to say to this broken mortal! I am a poor sinful creetur, +and the Judgment is not mine.”</p> +<p>As I lifted my eyes up to the clear bright sky, I saw the high tower +where Jemmy had stood above the birds, seeing that very window; and +the last look of that poor pretty young mother when her soul brightened +and got free, seemed to shine down from it.</p> +<p>“O man, man, man!” I says, and I went on my knees beside +the bed; “if your heart is rent asunder and you are truly penitent +for what you did, Our Saviour will have mercy on you yet!”</p> +<p>As I leaned my face against the bed, his feeble hand could just move +itself enough to touch me. I hope the touch was penitent. +It tried to hold my dress and keep hold, but the fingers were too weak +to close.</p> +<p>I lifted him back upon the pillows and I says to him:</p> +<p>“Can you hear me?”</p> +<p>He looked yes.</p> +<p>“Do you know me?”</p> +<p>He looked yes, even yet more plainly.</p> +<p>“I am not here alone. The Major is with me. You +recollect the Major?”</p> +<p>Yes. That is to say he made out yes, in the same way as before.</p> +<p>“And even the Major and I are not alone. My grandson—his +godson—is with us. Do you hear? My grandson.”</p> +<p>The fingers made another trial to catch my sleeve, but could only +creep near it and fall.</p> +<p>“Do you know who my grandson is?”</p> +<p>Yes.</p> +<p>“I pitied and loved his lonely mother. When his mother +lay a dying I said to her, ‘My dear, this baby is sent to a childless +old woman.’ He has been my pride and joy ever since. +I love him as dearly as if he had drunk from my breast. Do you +ask to see my grandson before you die?”</p> +<p>Yes.</p> +<p>“Show me, when I leave off speaking, if you correctly understand +what I say. He has been kept unacquainted with the story of his +birth. He has no knowledge of it. No suspicion of it. +If I bring him here to the side of this bed, he will suppose you to +be a perfect stranger. It is more than I can do to keep from him +the knowledge that there is such wrong and misery in the world; but +that it was ever so near him in his innocent cradle I have kept from +him, and I do keep from him, and I ever will keep from him, for his +mother’s sake, and for his own.”</p> +<p>He showed me that he distinctly understood, and the tears fell from +his eyes.</p> +<p>“Now rest, and you shall see him.”</p> +<p>So I got him a little wine and some brandy, and I put things straight +about his bed. But I began to be troubled in my mind lest Jemmy +and the Major might be too long of coming back. What with this +occupation for my thoughts and hands, I didn’t hear a foot upon +the stairs, and was startled when I saw the Major stopped short in the +middle of the room by the eyes of the man upon the bed, and knowing +him then, as I had known him a little while ago.</p> +<p>There was anger in the Major’s face, and there was horror and +repugnance and I don’t know what. So I went up to him and +I led him to the bedside, and when I clasped my hands and lifted of +them up, the Major did the like.</p> +<p>“O Lord” I says “Thou knowest what we two saw together +of the sufferings and sorrows of that young creetur now with Thee. +If this dying man is truly penitent, we two together humbly pray Thee +to have mercy on him!”</p> +<p>The Major says “Amen!” and then after a little stop I +whispers him, “Dear old friend fetch our beloved boy.” +And the Major, so clever as to have got to understand it all without +being told a word, went away and brought him.</p> +<p>Never never never shall I forget the fair bright face of our boy +when he stood at the foot of the bed, looking at his unknown father. +And O so like his dear young mother then!</p> +<p>“Jemmy” I says, “I have found out all about this +poor gentleman who is so ill, and he did lodge in the old house once. +And as he wants to see all belonging to it, now that he is passing away, +I sent for you.”</p> +<p>“Ah poor man!” says Jemmy stepping forward and touching +one of his hands with great gentleness. “My heart melts +for him. Poor, poor man!”</p> +<p>The eyes that were so soon to close for ever turned to me, and I +was not that strong in the pride of my strength that I could resist +them.</p> +<p>“My darling boy, there is a reason in the secret history of +this fellow-creetur lying as the best and worst of us must all lie one +day, which I think would ease his spirit in his last hour if you would +lay your cheek against his forehead and say, ‘May God forgive +you!’”</p> +<p>“O Gran,” says Jemmy with a full heart, “I am not +worthy!” But he leaned down and did it. Then the faltering +fingers made out to catch hold of my sleeve at last, and I believe he +was a-trying to kiss me when he died.</p> +<p>* * * * *</p> +<p>There my dear! There you have the story of my Legacy in full, +and it’s worth ten times the trouble I have spent upon it if you +are pleased to like it.</p> +<p>You might suppose that it set us against the little French town of +Sens, but no we didn’t find that. I found myself that I +never looked up at the high tower atop of the other tower, but the days +came back again when that fair young creetur with her pretty bright +hair trusted in me like a mother, and the recollection made the place +so peaceful to me as I can’t express. And every soul about +the hotel down to the pigeons in the courtyard made friends with Jemmy +and the Major, and went lumbering away with them on all sorts of expeditions +in all sorts of vehicles drawn by rampagious cart-horses,—with +heads and without,—mud for paint and ropes for harness,—and +every new friend dressed in blue like a butcher, and every new horse +standing on his hind legs wanting to devour and consume every other +horse, and every man that had a whip to crack crack-crack-crack-crack-cracking +it as if it was a schoolboy with his first. As to the Major my +dear that man lived the greater part of his time with a little tumbler +in one hand and a bottle of small wine in the other, and whenever he +saw anybody else with a little tumbler, no matter who it was,—the +military character with the tags, or the inn-servants at their supper +in the courtyard, or townspeople a chatting on a bench, or country people +a starting home after market,—down rushes the Major to clink his +glass against their glasses and cry,—Hola! Vive Somebody! +or Vive Something! as if he was beside himself. And though I could +not quite approve of the Major’s doing it, still the ways of the +world are the ways of the world varying according to the different parts +of it, and dancing at all in the open Square with a lady that kept a +barber’s shop my opinion is that the Major was right to dance +his best and to lead off with a power that I did not think was in him, +though I was a little uneasy at the Barricading sound of the cries that +were set up by the other dancers and the rest of the company, until +when I says “What are they ever calling out Jemmy?” Jemmy +says, “They’re calling out Gran, Bravo the Military English! +Bravo the Military English!” which was very gratifying to my feelings +as a Briton and became the name the Major was known by.</p> +<p>But every evening at a regular time we all three sat out in the balcony +of the hotel at the end of the courtyard, looking up at the golden and +rosy light as it changed on the great towers, and looking at the shadows +of the towers as they changed on all about us ourselves included, and +what do you think we did there? My dear, if Jemmy hadn’t +brought some other of those stories of the Major’s taking down +from the telling of former lodgers at Eighty-one Norfolk Street, and +if he didn’t bring ’em out with this speech:</p> +<p>“Here you are Gran! Here you are godfather! More +of ’em! I’ll read. And though you wrote ’em +for me, godfather, I know you won’t disapprove of my making ’em +over to Gran; will you?”</p> +<p>“No, my dear boy,” says the Major. “Everything +we have is hers, and we are hers.”</p> +<p>“Hers ever affectionately and devotedly J. Jackman, and J. +Jackman Lirriper,” cries the Young Rogue giving me a close hug. +“Very well then godfather. Look here. As Gran is in +the Legacy way just now, I shall make these stories a part of Gran’s +Legacy. I’ll leave ’em to her. What do you say +godfather?”</p> +<p>“Hip hip Hurrah!” says the Major.</p> +<p>“Very well then,” cries Jemmy all in a bustle. +“Vive the Military English! Vive the Lady Lirriper! +Vive the Jemmy Jackman Ditto! Vive the Legacy! Now, you +look out, Gran. And you look out, godfather. <i>I’ll</i> +read! And I’ll tell you what I’ll do besides. +On the last night of our holiday here when we are all packed and going +away, I’ll top up with something of my own.”</p> +<p>“Mind you do sir” says I.</p> +<h2>CHAPTER II—MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW JEMMY TOPPED UP</h2> +<p>Well my dear and so the evening readings of those jottings of the +Major’s brought us round at last to the evening when we were all +packed and going away next day, and I do assure you that by that time +though it was deliciously comfortable to look forward to the dear old +house in Norfolk Street again, I had formed quite a high opinion of +the French nation and had noticed them to be much more homely and domestic +in their families and far more simple and amiable in their lives than +I had ever been led to expect, and it did strike me between ourselves +that in one particular they might be imitated to advantage by another +nation which I will not mention, and that is in the courage with which +they take their little enjoyments on little means and with little things +and don’t let solemn big-wigs stare them out of countenance or +speechify them dull, of which said solemn big-wigs I have ever had the +one opinion that I wish they were all made comfortable separately in +coppers with the lids on and never let out any more.</p> +<p>“Now young man,” I says to Jemmy when we brought our +chairs into the balcony that last evening, “you please to remember +who was to ‘top up.’”</p> +<p>“All right Gran” says Jemmy. “I am the illustrious +personage.”</p> +<p>But he looked so serious after he had made me that light answer, +that the Major raised his eyebrows at me and I raised mine at the Major.</p> +<p>“Gran and godfather,” says Jemmy, “you can hardly +think how much my mind has run on Mr. Edson’s death.”</p> +<p>It gave me a little check. “Ah! it was a sad scene my +love” I says, “and sad remembrances come back stronger than +merry. But this” I says after a little silence, to rouse +myself and the Major and Jemmy all together, “is not topping up. +Tell us your story my dear.”</p> +<p>“I will” says Jemmy.</p> +<p>“What is the date sir?” says I. “Once upon +a time when pigs drank wine?”</p> +<p>“No Gran,” says Jemmy, still serious; “once upon +a time when the French drank wine.”</p> +<p>Again I glanced at the Major, and the Major glanced at me.</p> +<p>“In short, Gran and godfather,” says Jemmy, looking up, +“the date is this time, and I’m going to tell you Mr. Edson’s +story.”</p> +<p>The flutter that it threw me into. The change of colour on +the part of the Major!</p> +<p>“That is to say, you understand,” our bright-eyed boy +says, “I am going to give you my version of it. I shall +not ask whether it’s right or not, firstly because you said you +knew very little about it, Gran, and secondly because what little you +did know was a secret.”</p> +<p>I folded my hands in my lap and I never took my eyes off Jemmy as +he went running on.</p> +<p>“The unfortunate gentleman” Jemmy commences, “who +is the subject of our present narrative was the son of Somebody, and +was born Somewhere, and chose a profession Somehow. It is not +with those parts of his career that we have to deal; but with his early +attachment to a young and beautiful lady.”</p> +<p>I thought I should have dropped. I durstn’t look at the +Major; but I know what his state was, without looking at him.</p> +<p>“The father of our ill-starred hero” says Jemmy, copying +as it seemed to me the style of some of his story-books, “was +a worldly man who entertained ambitious views for his only son and who +firmly set his face against the contemplated alliance with a virtuous +but penniless orphan. Indeed he went so far as roundly to assure +our hero that unless he weaned his thoughts from the object of his devoted +affection, he would disinherit him. At the same time, he proposed +as a suitable match the daughter of a neighbouring gentleman of a good +estate, who was neither ill-favoured nor unamiable, and whose eligibility +in a pecuniary point of view could not be disputed. But young +Mr. Edson, true to the first and only love that had inflamed his breast, +rejected all considerations of self-advancement, and, deprecating his +father’s anger in a respectful letter, ran away with her.”</p> +<p>My dear I had begun to take a turn for the better, but when it come +to running away I began to take another turn for the worse.</p> +<p>“The lovers” says Jemmy “fled to London and were +united at the altar of Saint Clement’s Danes. And it is +at this period of their simple but touching story that we find them +inmates of the dwelling of a highly-respected and beloved lady of the +name of Gran, residing within a hundred miles of Norfolk Street.”</p> +<p>I felt that we were almost safe now, I felt that the dear boy had +no suspicion of the bitter truth, and I looked at the Major for the +first time and drew a long breath. The Major gave me a nod.</p> +<p>“Our hero’s father” Jemmy goes on “proving +implacable and carrying his threat into unrelenting execution, the struggles +of the young couple in London were severe, and would have been far more +so, but for their good angel’s having conducted them to the abode +of Mrs. Gran; who, divining their poverty (in spite of their endeavours +to conceal it from her), by a thousand delicate arts smoothed their +rough way, and alleviated the sharpness of their first distress.”</p> +<p>Here Jemmy took one of my hands in one of his, and began a marking +the turns of his story by making me give a beat from time to time upon +his other hand.</p> +<p>“After a while, they left the house of Mrs. Gran, and pursued +their fortunes through a variety of successes and failures elsewhere. +But in all reverses, whether for good or evil, the words of Mr. Edson +to the fair young partner of his life were, ‘Unchanging Love and +Truth will carry us through all!’”</p> +<p>My hand trembled in the dear boy’s, those words were so wofully +unlike the fact.</p> +<p>“Unchanging Love and Truth” says Jemmy over again, as +if he had a proud kind of a noble pleasure in it, “will carry +us through all! Those were his words. And so they fought +their way, poor but gallant and happy, until Mrs. Edson gave birth to +a child.”</p> +<p>“A daughter,” I says.</p> +<p>“No,” says Jemmy, “a son. And the father +was so proud of it that he could hardly bear it out of his sight. +But a dark cloud overspread the scene. Mrs. Edson sickened, drooped, +and died.”</p> +<p>“Ah! Sickened, drooped, and died!” I says.</p> +<p>“And so Mr. Edson’s only comfort, only hope on earth, +and only stimulus to action, was his darling boy. As the child +grew older, he grew so like his mother that he was her living picture. +It used to make him wonder why his father cried when he kissed him. +But unhappily he was like his mother in constitution as well as in face, +and lo, died too before he had grown out of childhood. Then Mr. +Edson, who had good abilities, in his forlornness and despair, threw +them all to the winds. He became apathetic, reckless, lost. +Little by little he sank down, down, down, down, until at last he almost +lived (I think) by gaming. And so sickness overtook him in the +town of Sens in France, and he lay down to die. But now that he +laid him down when all was done, and looked back upon the green Past +beyond the time when he had covered it with ashes, he thought gratefully +of the good Mrs. Gran long lost sight of, who had been so kind to him +and his young wife in the early days of their marriage, and he left +the little that he had as a last Legacy to her. And she, being +brought to see him, at first no more knew him than she would know from +seeing the ruin of a Greek or Roman Temple, what it used to be before +it fell; but at length she remembered him. And then he told her, +with tears, of his regret for the misspent part of his life, and besought +her to think as mildly of it as she could, because it was the poor fallen +Angel of his unchanging Love and Constancy after all. And because +she had her grandson with her, and he fancied that his own boy, if he +had lived, might have grown to be something like him, he asked her to +let him touch his forehead with his cheek and say certain parting words.”</p> +<p>Jemmy’s voice sank low when it got to that, and tears filled +my eyes, and filled the Major’s.</p> +<p>“You little Conjurer” I says, “how did you ever +make it all out? Go in and write it every word down, for it’s +a wonder.”</p> +<p>Which Jemmy did, and I have repeated it to you my dear from his writing.</p> +<p>Then the Major took my hand and kissed it, and said, “Dearest +madam all has prospered with us.”</p> +<p>“Ah Major” I says drying my eyes, “we needn’t +have been afraid. We might have known it. Treachery don’t +come natural to beaming youth; but trust and pity, love and constancy,—they +do, thank God!”</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 1421-h.htm or 1421-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/4/2/1421 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy + + +Author: Charles Dickens + +Release Date: April 3, 2005 [eBook #1421] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY*** + + + + + +Transcribed from the 1894 Chapman and Hall "Christmas Stories" edition by +David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + + +MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY + + +CHAPTER I--MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW SHE WENT ON, AND WENT OVER + + +Ah! It's pleasant to drop into my own easy-chair my dear though a little +palpitating what with trotting up-stairs and what with trotting down, and +why kitchen stairs should all be corner stairs is for the builders to +justify though I do not think they fully understand their trade and never +did, else why the sameness and why not more conveniences and fewer +draughts and likewise making a practice of laying the plaster on too +thick I am well convinced which holds the damp, and as to chimney-pots +putting them on by guess-work like hats at a party and no more knowing +what their effect will be upon the smoke bless you than I do if so much, +except that it will mostly be either to send it down your throat in a +straight form or give it a twist before it goes there. And what I says +speaking as I find of those new metal chimneys all manner of shapes +(there's a row of 'em at Miss Wozenham's lodging-house lower down on the +other side of the way) is that they only work your smoke into artificial +patterns for you before you swallow it and that I'd quite as soon swallow +mine plain, the flavour being the same, not to mention the conceit of +putting up signs on the top of your house to show the forms in which you +take your smoke into your inside. + +Being here before your eyes my dear in my own easy-chair in my own quiet +room in my own Lodging-House Number Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand +London situated midway between the City and St. James's--if anything is +where it used to be with these hotels calling themselves Limited but +called unlimited by Major Jackman rising up everywhere and rising up into +flagstaffs where they can't go any higher, but my mind of those monsters +is give me a landlord's or landlady's wholesome face when I come off a +journey and not a brass plate with an electrified number clicking out of +it which it's not in nature can be glad to see me and to which I don't +want to be hoisted like molasses at the Docks and left there telegraphing +for help with the most ingenious instruments but quite in vain--being +here my dear I have no call to mention that I am still in the Lodgings as +a business hoping to die in the same and if agreeable to the clergy +partly read over at Saint Clement's Danes and concluded in Hatfield +churchyard when lying once again by my poor Lirriper ashes to ashes and +dust to dust. + +Neither should I tell you any news my dear in telling you that the Major +is still a fixture in the Parlours quite as much so as the roof of the +house, and that Jemmy is of boys the best and brightest and has ever had +kept from him the cruel story of his poor pretty young mother Mrs. Edson +being deserted in the second floor and dying in my arms, fully believing +that I am his born Gran and him an orphan, though what with engineering +since he took a taste for it and him and the Major making Locomotives out +of parasols broken iron pots and cotton-reels and them absolutely a +getting off the line and falling over the table and injuring the +passengers almost equal to the originals it really is quite wonderful. +And when I says to the Major, "Major can't you by _any_ means give us a +communication with the guard?" the Major says quite huffy, "No madam it's +not to be done," and when I says "Why not?" the Major says, "That is +between us who are in the Railway Interest madam and our friend the Right +Honourable Vice-President of the Board of Trade" and if you'll believe me +my dear the Major wrote to Jemmy at school to consult him on the answer I +should have before I could get even that amount of unsatisfactoriness out +of the man, the reason being that when we first began with the little +model and the working signals beautiful and perfect (being in general as +wrong as the real) and when I says laughing "What appointment am I to +hold in this undertaking gentlemen?" Jemmy hugs me round the neck and +tells me dancing, "You shall be the Public Gran" and consequently they +put upon me just as much as ever they like and I sit a growling in my +easy-chair. + +My dear whether it is that a grown man as clever as the Major cannot give +half his heart and mind to anything--even a plaything--but must get into +right down earnest with it, whether it is so or whether it is not so I do +not undertake to say, but Jemmy is far out-done by the serious and +believing ways of the Major in the management of the United Grand +Junction Lirriper and Jackman Great Norfolk Parlour Line, "For" says my +Jemmy with the sparkling eyes when it was christened, "we must have a +whole mouthful of name Gran or our dear old Public" and there the young +rogue kissed me, "won't stump up." So the Public took the shares--ten at +ninepence, and immediately when that was spent twelve Preference at one +and sixpence--and they were all signed by Jemmy and countersigned by the +Major, and between ourselves much better worth the money than some shares +I have paid for in my time. In the same holidays the line was made and +worked and opened and ran excursions and had collisions and burst its +boilers and all sorts of accidents and offences all most regular correct +and pretty. The sense of responsibility entertained by the Major as a +military style of station-master my dear starting the down train behind +time and ringing one of those little bells that you buy with the little +coal-scuttles off the tray round the man's neck in the street did him +honour, but noticing the Major of a night when he is writing out his +monthly report to Jemmy at school of the state of the Rolling Stock and +the Permanent Way and all the rest of it (the whole kept upon the Major's +sideboard and dusted with his own hands every morning before varnishing +his boots) I notice him as full of thought and care as full can be and +frowning in a fearful manner, but indeed the Major does nothing by halves +as witness his great delight in going out surveying with Jemmy when he +has Jemmy to go with, carrying a chain and a measuring-tape and driving I +don't know what improvements right through Westminster Abbey and fully +believed in the streets to be knocking everything upside down by Act of +Parliament. As please Heaven will come to pass when Jemmy takes to that +as a profession! + +Mentioning my poor Lirriper brings into my head his own youngest brother +the Doctor though Doctor of what I am sure it would be hard to say unless +Liquor, for neither Physic nor Music nor yet Law does Joshua Lirriper +know a morsel of except continually being summoned to the County Court +and having orders made upon him which he runs away from, and once was +taken in the passage of this very house with an umbrella up and the +Major's hat on, giving his name with the door-mat round him as Sir +Johnson Jones, K.C.B. in spectacles residing at the Horse Guards. On +which occasion he had got into the house not a minute before, through the +girl letting him on the mat when he sent in a piece of paper twisted more +like one of those spills for lighting candles than a note, offering me +the choice between thirty shillings in hand and his brains on the +premises marked immediate and waiting for an answer. My dear it gave me +such a dreadful turn to think of the brains of my poor dear Lirriper's +own flesh and blood flying about the new oilcloth however unworthy to be +so assisted, that I went out of my room here to ask him what he would +take once for all not to do it for life when I found him in the custody +of two gentlemen that I should have judged to be in the feather-bed trade +if they had not announced the law, so fluffy were their personal +appearance. "Bring your chains, sir," says Joshua to the littlest of the +two in the biggest hat, "rivet on my fetters!" Imagine my feelings when +I pictered him clanking up Norfolk Street in irons and Miss Wozenham +looking out of window! "Gentlemen," I says all of a tremble and ready to +drop "please to bring him into Major Jackman's apartments." So they +brought him into the Parlours, and when the Major spies his own curly- +brimmed hat on him which Joshua Lirriper had whipped off its peg in the +passage for a military disguise he goes into such a tearing passion that +he tips it off his head with his hand and kicks it up to the ceiling with +his foot where it grazed long afterwards. "Major" I says "be cool and +advise me what to do with Joshua my dead and gone Lirriper's own youngest +brother." "Madam" says the Major "my advice is that you board and lodge +him in a Powder Mill, with a handsome gratuity to the proprietor when +exploded." "Major" I says "as a Christian you cannot mean your words." +"Madam" says the Major "by the Lord I do!" and indeed the Major besides +being with all his merits a very passionate man for his size had a bad +opinion of Joshua on account of former troubles even unattended by +liberties taken with his apparel. When Joshua Lirriper hears this +conversation betwixt us he turns upon the littlest one with the biggest +hat and says "Come sir! Remove me to my vile dungeon. Where is my +mouldy straw?" My dear at the picter of him rising in my mind dressed +almost entirely in padlocks like Baron Trenck in Jemmy's book I was so +overcome that I burst into tears and I says to the Major, "Major take my +keys and settle with these gentlemen or I shall never know a happy minute +more," which was done several times both before and since, but still I +must remember that Joshua Lirriper has his good feelings and shows them +in being always so troubled in his mind when he cannot wear mourning for +his brother. Many a long year have I left off my widow's mourning not +being wishful to intrude, but the tender point in Joshua that I cannot +help a little yielding to is when he writes "One single sovereign would +enable me to wear a decent suit of mourning for my much-loved brother. I +vowed at the time of his lamented death that I would ever wear sables in +memory of him but Alas how short-sighted is man, How keep that vow when +penniless!" It says a good deal for the strength of his feelings that he +couldn't have been seven year old when my poor Lirriper died and to have +kept to it ever since is highly creditable. But we know there's good in +all of us,--if we only knew where it was in some of us,--and though it +was far from delicate in Joshua to work upon the dear child's feelings +when first sent to school and write down into Lincolnshire for his pocket- +money by return of post and got it, still he is my poor Lirriper's own +youngest brother and mightn't have meant not paying his bill at the +Salisbury Arms when his affection took him down to stay a fortnight at +Hatfield churchyard and might have meant to keep sober but for bad +company. Consequently if the Major _had_ played on him with the garden- +engine which he got privately into his room without my knowing of it, I +think that much as I should have regretted it there would have been words +betwixt the Major and me. Therefore my dear though he played on Mr. +Buffle by mistake being hot in his head, and though it might have been +misrepresented down at Wozenham's into not being ready for Mr. Buffle in +other respects he being the Assessed Taxes, still I do not so much regret +it as perhaps I ought. And whether Joshua Lirriper will yet do well in +life I cannot say, but I did hear of his coming, out at a Private Theatre +in the character of a Bandit without receiving any offers afterwards from +the regular managers. + +Mentioning Mr. Baffle gives an instance of there being good in persons +where good is not expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr. Buffle's +manners when engaged in his business were not agreeable. To collect is +one thing, and to look about as if suspicious of the goods being +gradually removing in the dead of the night by a back door is another, +over taxing you have no control but suspecting is voluntary. Allowances +too must ever be made for a gentleman of the Major's warmth not relishing +being spoke to with a pen in the mouth, and while I do not know that it +is more irritable to my own feelings to have a low-crowned hat with a +broad brim kept on in doors than any other hat still I can appreciate the +Major's, besides which without bearing malice or vengeance the Major is a +man that scores up arrears as his habit always was with Joshua Lirriper. +So at last my dear the Major lay in wait for Mr. Buffle, and it worrited +me a good deal. Mr. Buffle gives his rap of two sharp knocks one day and +the Major bounces to the door. "Collector has called for two quarters' +Assessed Taxes" says Mr. Buffle. "They are ready for him" says the Major +and brings him in here. But on the way Mr. Buffle looks about him in his +usual suspicious manner and the Major fires and asks him "Do you see a +Ghost sir?" "No sir" says Mr. Buffle. "Because I have before noticed +you" says the Major "apparently looking for a spectre very hard beneath +the roof of my respected friend. When you find that supernatural agent, +be so good as point him out sir." Mr. Buffle stares at the Major and +then nods at me. "Mrs. Lirriper sir" says the Major going off into a +perfect steam and introducing me with his hand. "Pleasure of knowing +her" says Mr. Buffle. "A--hum!--Jemmy Jackman sir!" says the Major +introducing himself. "Honour of knowing you by sight" says Mr. Buffle. +"Jemmy Jackman sir" says the Major wagging his head sideways in a sort of +obstinate fury "presents to you his esteemed friend that lady Mrs. Emma +Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand London in the County of +Middlesex in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Upon which +occasion sir," says the Major, "Jemmy Jackman takes your hat off." Mr. +Buffle looks at his hat where the Major drops it on the floor, and he +picks it up and puts it on again. "Sir" says the Major very red and +looking him full in the face "there are two quarters of the Gallantry +Taxes due and the Collector has called." Upon which if you can believe +my words my dear the Major drops Mr. Buffle's hat off again. "This--" +Mr. Buffle begins very angry with his pen in his mouth, when the Major +steaming more and more says "Take your bit out sir! Or by the whole +infernal system of Taxation of this country and every individual figure +in the National Debt, I'll get upon your back and ride you like a horse!" +which it's my belief he would have done and even actually jerking his +neat little legs ready for a spring as it was. "This," says Mr. Buffle +without his pen "is an assault and I'll have the law of you." "Sir" +replies the Major "if you are a man of honour, your Collector of whatever +may be due on the Honourable Assessment by applying to Major Jackman at +the Parlours Mrs. Lirriper's Lodgings, may obtain what he wants in full +at any moment." + +When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with those meaning words my dear I +literally gasped for a teaspoonful of salvolatile in a wine-glass of +water, and I says "Pray let it go no farther gentlemen I beg and beseech +of you!" But the Major could be got to do nothing else but snort long +after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the effect it had upon my whole mass of +blood when on the next day of Mr. Buffle's rounds the Major spruced +himself up and went humming a tune up and down the street with one eye +almost obliterated by his hat there are not expressions in Johnson's +Dictionary to state. But I safely put the street door on the jar and got +behind the Major's blinds with my shawl on and my mind made up the moment +I saw danger to rush out screeching till my voice failed me and catch the +Major round the neck till my strength went and have all parties bound. I +had not been behind the blinds a quarter of an hour when I saw Mr. Buffle +approaching with his Collecting-books in his hand. The Major likewise +saw him approaching and hummed louder and himself approached. They met +before the Airy railings. The Major takes off his hat at arm's length +and says "Mr. Buffle I believe?" Mr. Buffle takes off _his_ hat at arm's +length and says "That is my name sir." Says the Major "Have you any +commands for me, Mr. Buffle?" Says Mr. Buffle "Not any sir." Then my +dear both of 'em bowed very low and haughty and parted, and whenever Mr. +Buffle made his rounds in future him and the Major always met and bowed +before the Airy railings, putting me much in mind of Hamlet and the other +gentleman in mourning before killing one another, though I could have +wished the other gentleman had done it fairer and even if less polite no +poison. + +Mr. Buffle's family were not liked in this neighbourhood, for when you +are a householder my dear you'll find it does not come by nature to like +the Assessed, and it was considered besides that a one-horse pheayton +ought not to have elevated Mrs. Buffle to that height especially when +purloined from the Taxes which I myself did consider uncharitable. But +they were _not_ liked and there was that domestic unhappiness in the +family in consequence of their both being very hard with Miss Buffle and +one another on account of Miss Buffle's favouring Mr. Buffle's articled +young gentleman, that it _was_ whispered that Miss Buffle would go either +into a consumption or a convent she being so very thin and off her +appetite and two close-shaved gentlemen with white bands round their +necks peeping round the corner whenever she went out in waistcoats +resembling black pinafores. So things stood towards Mr. Buffle when one +night I was woke by a frightful noise and a smell of burning, and going +to my bedroom window saw the whole street in a glow. Fortunately we had +two sets empty just then and before I could hurry on some clothes I heard +the Major hammering at the attics' doors and calling out "Dress +yourselves!--Fire! Don't be frightened!--Fire! Collect your presence of +mind!--Fire! All right--Fire!" most tremenjously. As I opened my +bedroom door the Major came tumbling in over himself and me, and caught +me in his arms. "Major" I says breathless "where is it?" "I don't know +dearest madam" says the Major--"Fire! Jemmy Jackman will defend you to +the last drop of his blood--Fire! If the dear boy was at home what a +treat this would be for him--Fire!" and altogether very collected and +bold except that he couldn't say a single sentence without shaking me to +the very centre with roaring Fire. We ran down to the drawing-room and +put our heads out of window, and the Major calls to an unfeeling young +monkey, scampering by be joyful and ready to split "Where is it?--Fire!" +The monkey answers without stopping "O here's a lark! Old Buffle's been +setting his house alight to prevent its being found out that he boned the +Taxes. Hurrah! Fire!" And then the sparks came flying up and the smoke +came pouring down and the crackling of flames and spatting of water and +banging of engines and hacking of axes and breaking of glass and knocking +at doors and the shouting and crying and hurrying and the heat and +altogether gave me a dreadful palpitation. "Don't be frightened dearest +madam," says the Major, "--Fire! There's nothing to be alarmed at--Fire! +Don't open the street door till I come back--Fire! I'll go and see if I +can be of any service--Fire! You're quite composed and comfortable ain't +you?--Fire, Fire, Fire!" It was in vain for me to hold the man and tell +him he'd be galloped to death by the engines--pumped to death by his over- +exertions--wet-feeted to death by the slop and mess--flattened to death +when the roofs fell in--his spirit was up and he went scampering off +after the young monkey with all the breath he had and none to spare, and +me and the girls huddled together at the parlour windows looking at the +dreadful flames above the houses over the way, Mr. Buffle's being round +the corner. Presently what should we see but some people running down +the street straight to our door, and then the Major directing operations +in the busiest way, and then some more people and then--carried in a +chair similar to Guy Fawkes--Mr. Buffle in a blanket! + +My dear the Major has Mr. Buffle brought up our steps and whisked into +the parlour and carted out on the sofy, and then he and all the rest of +them without so much as a word burst away again full speed leaving the +impression of a vision except for Mr. Buffle awful in his blanket with +his eyes a rolling. In a twinkling they all burst back again with Mrs. +Buffle in another blanket, which whisked in and carted out on the sofy +they all burst off again and all burst back again with Miss Buffle in +another blanket, which again whisked in and carted out they all burst off +again and all burst back again with Mr. Buffle's articled young gentleman +in another blanket--him a holding round the necks of two men carrying him +by the legs, similar to the picter of the disgraceful creetur who has +lost the fight (but where the chair I do not know) and his hair having +the appearance of newly played upon. When all four of a row, the Major +rubs his hands and whispers me with what little hoarseness he can get +together, "If our dear remarkable boy was only at home what a delightful +treat this would be for him!" + +My dear we made them some hot tea and toast and some hot brandy-and-water +with a little comfortable nutmeg in it, and at first they were scared and +low in their spirits but being fully insured got sociable. And the first +use Mr. Buffle made of his tongue was to call the Major his Preserver and +his best of friends and to say "My for ever dearest sir let me make you +known to Mrs. Buffle" which also addressed him as her Preserver and her +best of friends and was fully as cordial as the blanket would admit of. +Also Miss Buffle. The articled young gentleman's head was a little light +and he sat a moaning "Robina is reduced to cinders, Robina is reduced to +cinders!" Which went more to the heart on account of his having got +wrapped in his blanket as if he was looking out of a violinceller case, +until Mr. Buffle says "Robina speak to him!" Miss Buffle says "Dear +George!" and but for the Major's pouring down brandy-and-water on the +instant which caused a catching in his throat owing to the nutmeg and a +violent fit of coughing it might have proved too much for his strength. +When the articled young gentleman got the better of it Mr. Buffle leaned +up against Mrs. Buffle being two bundles, a little while in confidence, +and then says with tears in his eyes which the Major noticing wiped, "We +have not been an united family, let us after this danger become so, take +her George." The young gentleman could not put his arm out far to do it, +but his spoken expressions were very beautiful though of a wandering +class. And I do not know that I ever had a much pleasanter meal than the +breakfast we took together after we had all dozed, when Miss Buffle made +tea very sweetly in quite the Roman style as depicted formerly at Covent +Garden Theatre and when the whole family was most agreeable, as they have +ever proved since that night when the Major stood at the foot of the Fire- +Escape and claimed them as they came down--the young gentleman +head-foremost, which accounts. And though I do not say that we should be +less liable to think ill of one another if strictly limited to blankets, +still I do say that we might most of us come to a better understanding if +we kept one another less at a distance. + +Why there's Wozenham's lower down on the other side of the street. I had +a feeling of much soreness several years respecting what I must still +ever call Miss Wozenham's systematic underbidding and the likeness of the +house in Bradshaw having far too many windows and a most umbrageous and +outrageous Oak which never yet was seen in Norfolk Street nor yet a +carriage and four at Wozenham's door, which it would have been far more +to Bradshaw's credit to have drawn a cab. This frame of mind continued +bitter down to the very afternoon in January last when one of my girls, +Sally Rairyganoo which I still suspect of Irish extraction though family +represented Cambridge, else why abscond with a bricklayer of the Limerick +persuasion and be married in pattens not waiting till his black eye was +decently got round with all the company fourteen in number and one horse +fighting outside on the roof of the vehicle,--I repeat my dear my ill- +regulated state of mind towards Miss Wozenham continued down to the very +afternoon of January last past when Sally Rairyganoo came banging (I can +use no milder expression) into my room with a jump which may be Cambridge +and may not, and said "Hurroo Missis! Miss Wozenham's sold up!" My dear +when I had it thrown in my face and conscience that the girl Sally had +reason to think I could be glad of the ruin of a fellow-creeter, I burst +into tears and dropped back in my chair and I says "I am ashamed of +myself!" + +Well! I tried to settle to my tea but I could not do it what with +thinking of Miss Wozenham and her distresses. It was a wretched night +and I went up to a front window and looked over at Wozenham's and as well +as I could make it out down the street in the fog it was the dismallest +of the dismal and not a light to be seen. So at last I save to myself +"This will not do," and I puts on my oldest bonnet and shawl not wishing +Miss Wozenham to be reminded of my best at such a time, and lo and behold +you I goes over to Wozenham's and knocks. "Miss Wozenham at home?" I +says turning my head when I heard the door go. And then I saw it was +Miss Wozenham herself who had opened it and sadly worn she was poor thing +and her eyes all swelled and swelled with crying. "Miss Wozenham" I says +"it is several years since there was a little unpleasantness betwixt us +on the subject of my grandson's cap being down your Airy. I have +overlooked it and I hope you have done the same." "Yes Mrs. Lirriper" +she says in a surprise, "I have." "Then my dear" I says "I should be +glad to come in and speak a word to you." Upon my calling her my dear +Miss Wozenham breaks out a crying most pitiful, and a not unfeeling +elderly person that might have been better shaved in a nightcap with a +hat over it offering a polite apology for the mumps having worked +themselves into his constitution, and also for sending home to his wife +on the bellows which was in his hand as a writing-desk, looks out of the +back parlour and says "The lady wants a word of comfort" and goes in +again. So I was able to say quite natural "Wants a word of comfort does +she sir? Then please the pigs she shall have it!" And Miss Wozenham and +me we go into the front room with a wretched light that seemed to have +been crying too and was sputtering out, and I says "Now my dear, tell me +all," and she wrings her hands and says "O Mrs. Lirriper that man is in +possession here, and I have not a friend in the world who is able to help +me with a shilling." + +It doesn't signify a bit what a talkative old body like me said to Miss +Wozenham when she said that, and so I'll tell you instead my dear that +I'd have given thirty shillings to have taken her over to tea, only I +durstn't on account of the Major. Not you see but what I knew I could +draw the Major out like thread and wind him round my finger on most +subjects and perhaps even on that if I was to set myself to it, but him +and me had so often belied Miss Wozenham to one another that I was +shamefaced, and I knew she had offended his pride and never mine, and +likewise I felt timid that that Rairyganoo girl might make things +awkward. So I says "My dear if you could give me a cup of tea to clear +my muddle of a head I should better understand your affairs." And we had +the tea and the affairs too and after all it was but forty pound, +and--There! she's as industrious and straight a creeter as ever lived and +has paid back half of it already, and where's the use of saying more, +particularly when it ain't the point? For the point is that when she was +a kissing my hands and holding them in hers and kissing them again and +blessing blessing blessing, I cheered up at last and I says "Why what a +waddling old goose I have been my dear to take you for something so very +different!" "Ah but I too" says she "how have _I_ mistaken _you_!" "Come +for goodness' sake tell me" I says "what you thought of me?" "O" says +she "I thought you had no feeling for such a hard hand-to-mouth life as +mine, and were rolling in affluence." I says shaking my sides (and very +glad to do it for I had been a choking quite long enough) "Only look at +my figure my dear and give me your opinion whether if I was in affluence +I should be likely to roll in it?" That did it? We got as merry as +grigs (whatever _they_ are, if you happen to know my dear--_I_ don't) and +I went home to my blessed home as happy and as thankful as could be. But +before I make an end of it, think even of my having misunderstood the +Major! Yes! For next forenoon the Major came into my little room with +his brushed hat in his hand and he begins "My dearest madam--" and then +put his face in his hat as if he had just come into church. As I sat all +in a maze he came out of his hat and began again. "My esteemed and +beloved friend--" and then went into his hat again. "Major," I cries out +frightened "has anything happened to our darling boy?" "No, no, no" says +the Major "but Miss Wozenham has been here this morning to make her +excuses to me, and by the Lord I can't get over what she told me." "Hoity +toity, Major," I says "you don't know yet that I was afraid of you last +night and didn't think half as well of you as I ought! So come out of +church Major and forgive me like a dear old friend and I'll never do so +any more." And I leave you to judge my dear whether I ever did or will. +And how affecting to think of Miss Wozenham out of her small income and +her losses doing so much for her poor old father, and keeping a brother +that had had the misfortune to soften his brain against the hard +mathematics as neat as a new pin in the three back represented to lodgers +as a lumber-room and consuming a whole shoulder of mutton whenever +provided! + +And now my dear I really am a going to tell you about my Legacy if you're +inclined to favour me with your attention, and I did fully intend to have +come straight to it only one thing does so bring up another. It was the +month of June and the day before Midsummer Day when my girl Winifred +Madgers--she was what is termed a Plymouth Sister, and the Plymouth +Brother that made away with her was quite right, for a tidier young woman +for a wife never came into a house and afterwards called with the +beautifullest Plymouth Twins--it was the day before Midsummer Day when +Winifred Madgers comes and says to me "A gentleman from the Consul's +wishes particular to speak to Mrs. Lirriper." If you'll believe me my +dear the Consols at the bank where I have a little matter for Jemmy got +into my head, and I says "Good gracious I hope he ain't had any dreadful +fall!" Says Winifred "He don't look as if he had ma'am." And I says +"Show him in." + +The gentleman came in dark and with his hair cropped what I should +consider too close, and he says very polite "Madame Lirrwiper!" I says, +"Yes sir. Take a chair." "I come," says he "frrwom the Frrwench +Consul's." So I saw at once that it wasn't the Bank of England. "We +have rrweceived," says the gentleman turning his r's very curious and +skilful, "frrwom the Mairrwie at Sens, a communication which I will have +the honour to rrwead. Madame Lirrwiper understands Frrwench?" "O dear +no sir!" says I. "Madame Lirriper don't understand anything of the +sort." "It matters not," says the gentleman, "I will trrwanslate." + +With that my dear the gentleman after reading something about a +Department and a Marie (which Lord forgive me I supposed till the Major +came home was Mary, and never was I more puzzled than to think how that +young woman came to have so much to do with it) translated a lot with the +most obliging pains, and it came to this:--That in the town of Sons in +France an unknown Englishman lay a dying. That he was speechless and +without motion. That in his lodging there was a gold watch and a purse +containing such and such money and a trunk containing such and such +clothes, but no passport and no papers, except that on his table was a +pack of cards and that he had written in pencil on the back of the ace of +hearts: "To the authorities. When I am dead, pray send what is left, as +a last Legacy, to Mrs. Lirriper Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand London." +When the gentleman had explained all this, which seemed to be drawn up +much more methodical than I should have given the French credit for, not +at that time knowing the nation, he put the document into my hand. And +much the wiser I was for that you may be sure, except that it had the +look of being made out upon grocery paper and was stamped all over with +eagles. + +"Does Madame Lirrwiper" says the gentleman "believe she rrwecognises her +unfortunate compatrrwiot?" + +You may imagine the flurry it put me into my dear to be talked to about +my compatriots. + +I says "Excuse me. Would you have the kindness sir to make your language +as simple as you can?" + +"This Englishman unhappy, at the point of death. This compatrrwiot +afflicted," says the gentleman. + +"Thank you sir" I says "I understand you now. No sir I have not the +least idea who this can be." + +"Has Madame Lirrwiper no son, no nephew, no godson, no frrwiend, no +acquaintance of any kind in Frrwance?" + +"To my certain knowledge" says I "no relation or friend, and to the best +of my belief no acquaintance." + +"Pardon me. You take Locataires?" says the gentleman. + +My dear fully believing he was offering me something with his obliging +foreign manners,--snuff for anything I knew,--I gave a little bend of my +head and I says if you'll credit it, "No I thank you. I have not +contracted the habit." + +The gentleman looks perplexed and says "Lodgers!" + +"Oh!" says I laughing. "Bless the man! Why yes to be sure!" + +"May it not be a former lodger?" says the gentleman. "Some lodger that +you pardoned some rrwent? You have pardoned lodgers some rrwent?" + +"Hem! It has happened sir" says I, "but I assure you I can call to mind +no gentleman of that description that this is at all likely to be." + +In short my dear, we could make nothing of it, and the gentleman noted +down what I said and went away. But he left me the paper of which he had +two with him, and when the Major came in I says to the Major as I put it +in his hand "Major here's Old Moore's Almanac with the hieroglyphic +complete, for your opinion." + +It took the Major a little longer to read than I should have thought, +judging from the copious flow with which he seemed to be gifted when +attacking the organ-men, but at last he got through it, and stood a +gazing at me in amazement. + +"Major" I says "you're paralysed." + +"Madam" says the Major, "Jemmy Jackman is doubled up." + +Now it did so happen that the Major had been out to get a little +information about railroads and steamboats, as our boy was coming home +for his Midsummer holidays next day and we were going to take him +somewhere for a treat and a change. So while the Major stood a gazing it +came into my head to say to him "Major I wish you'd go and look at some +of your books and maps, and see whereabouts this same town of Sens is in +France." + +The Major he roused himself and he went into the Parlours and he poked +about a little, and he came back to me and he says, "Sens my dearest +madam is seventy-odd miles south of Paris." + +With what I may truly call a desperate effort "Major," I says "we'll go +there with our blessed boy." + +If ever the Major was beside himself it was at the thoughts of that +journey. All day long he was like the wild man of the woods after +meeting with an advertisement in the papers telling him something to his +advantage, and early next morning hours before Jemmy could possibly come +home he was outside in the street ready to call out to him that we was +all a going to France. Young Rosycheeks you may believe was as wild as +the Major, and they did carry on to that degree that I says "If you two +children ain't more orderly I'll pack you both off to bed." And then +they fell to cleaning up the Major's telescope to see France with, and +went out and bought a leather bag with a snap to hang round Jemmy, and +him to carry the money like a little Fortunatus with his purse. + +If I hadn't passed my word and raised their hopes, I doubt if I could +have gone through with the undertaking but it was too late to go back +now. So on the second day after Midsummer Day we went off by the morning +mail. And when we came to the sea which I had never seen but once in my +life and that when my poor Lirriper was courting me, the freshness of it +and the deepness and the airiness and to think that it had been rolling +ever since and that it was always a rolling and so few of us minding, +made me feel quite serious. But I felt happy too and so did Jemmy and +the Major and not much motion on the whole, though me with a swimming in +the head and a sinking but able to take notice that the foreign insides +appear to be constructed hollower than the English, leading to much more +tremenjous noises when bad sailors. + +But my dear the blueness and the lightness and the coloured look of +everything and the very sentry-boxes striped and the shining rattling +drums and the little soldiers with their waists and tidy gaiters, when we +got across to the Continent--it made me feel as if I don't know what--as +if the atmosphere had been lifted off me. And as to lunch why bless you +if I kept a man-cook and two kitchen-maids I couldn't got it done for +twice the money, and no injured young woman a glaring at you and grudging +you and acknowledging your patronage by wishing that your food might +choke you, but so civil and so hot and attentive and every way +comfortable except Jemmy pouring wine down his throat by tumblers-full +and me expecting to see him drop under the table. + +And the way in which Jemmy spoke his French was a real charm. It was +often wanted of him, for whenever anybody spoke a syllable to me I says +"Non-comprenny, you're very kind, but it's no use--Now Jemmy!" and then +Jemmy he fires away at 'em lovely, the only thing wanting in Jemmy's +French being as it appeared to me that he hardly ever understood a word +of what they said to him which made it scarcely of the use it might have +been though in other respects a perfect Native, and regarding the Major's +fluency I should have been of the opinion judging French by English that +there might have been a greater choice of words in the language though +still I must admit that if I hadn't known him when he asked a military +gentleman in a gray cloak what o'clock it was I should have took him for +a Frenchman born. + +Before going on to look after my Legacy we were to make one regular day +in Paris, and I leave you to judge my dear what a day _that_ was with +Jemmy and the Major and the telescope and me and the prowling young man +at the inn door (but very civil too) that went along with us to show the +sights. All along the railway to Paris Jemmy and the Major had been +frightening me to death by stooping down on the platforms at stations to +inspect the engines underneath their mechanical stomachs, and by creeping +in and out I don't know where all, to find improvements for the United +Grand Junction Parlour, but when we got out into the brilliant streets on +a bright morning they gave up all their London improvements as a bad job +and gave their minds to Paris. Says the prowling young man to me "Will I +speak Inglis No?" So I says "If you can young man I shall take it as a +favour," but after half-an-hour of it when I fully believed the man had +gone mad and me too I says "Be so good as fall back on your French sir," +knowing that then I shouldn't have the agonies of trying to understand +him, which was a happy release. Not that I lost much more than the rest +either, for I generally noticed that when he had described something very +long indeed and I says to Jemmy "What does he say Jemmy?" Jemmy says +looking with vengeance in his eye "He is so jolly indistinct!" and that +when he had described it longer all over again and I says to Jemmy "Well +Jemmy what's it all about?" Jemmy says "He says the building was repaired +in seventeen hundred and four, Gran." + +Wherever that prowling young man formed his prowling habits I cannot be +expected to know, but the way in which he went round the corner while we +had our breakfasts and was there again when we swallowed the last crumb +was most marvellous, and just the same at dinner and at night, prowling +equally at the theatre and the inn gateway and the shop doors when we +bought a trifle or two and everywhere else but troubled with a tendency +to spit. And of Paris I can tell you no more my dear than that it's town +and country both in one, and carved stone and long streets of high houses +and gardens and fountains and statues and trees and gold, and immensely +big soldiers and immensely little soldiers and the pleasantest nurses +with the whitest caps a playing at skipping-rope with the bunchiest +babies in the flattest caps, and clean table-cloths spread everywhere for +dinner and people sitting out of doors smoking and sipping all day long +and little plays being acted in the open air for little people and every +shop a complete and elegant room, and everybody seeming to play at +everything in this world. And as to the sparkling lights my dear after +dark, glittering high up and low down and on before and on behind and all +round, and the crowd of theatres and the crowd of people and the crowd of +all sorts, it's pure enchantment. And pretty well the only thing that +grated on me was that whether you pay your fare at the railway or whether +you change your money at a money-dealer's or whether you take your ticket +at the theatre, the lady or gentleman is caged up (I suppose by +government) behind the strongest iron bars having more of a Zoological +appearance than a free country. + +Well to be sure when I did after all get my precious bones to bed that +night, and my Young Rogue came in to kiss me and asks "What do you think +of this lovely lovely Paris, Gran?" I says "Jemmy I feel as if it was +beautiful fireworks being let off in my head." And very cool and +refreshing the pleasant country was next day when we went on to look +after my Legacy, and rested me much and did me a deal of good. + +So at length and at last my dear we come to Sens, a pretty little town +with a great two-towered cathedral and the rooks flying in and out of the +loopholes and another tower atop of one of the towers like a sort of a +stone pulpit. In which pulpit with the birds skimming below him if +you'll believe me, I saw a speck while I was resting at the inn before +dinner which they made signs to me was Jemmy and which really was. I had +been a fancying as I sat in the balcony of the hotel that an Angel might +light there and call down to the people to be good, but I little thought +what Jemmy all unknown to himself was a calling down from that high place +to some one in the town. + +The pleasantest-situated inn my dear! Right under the two towers, with +their shadows a changing upon it all day like a kind of a sundial, and +country people driving in and out of the courtyard in carts and hooded +cabriolets and such like, and a market outside in front of the cathedral, +and all so quaint and like a picter. The Major and me agreed that +whatever came of my Legacy this was the place to stay in for our holiday, +and we also agreed that our dear boy had best not be checked in his joy +that night by the sight of the Englishman if he was still alive, but that +we would go together and alone. For you are to understand that the Major +not feeling himself quite equal in his wind to the height to which Jemmy +had climbed, had come back to me and left him with the Guide. + +So after dinner when Jemmy had set off to see the river, the Major went +down to the Mairie, and presently came back with a military character in +a sword and spurs and a cocked hat and a yellow shoulder-belt and long +tags about him that he must have found inconvenient. And the Major says +"The Englishman still lies in the same state dearest madam. This +gentleman will conduct us to his lodging." Upon which the military +character pulled off his cocked hat to me, and I took notice that he had +shaved his forehead in imitation of Napoleon Bonaparte but not like. + +We wont out at the courtyard gate and past the great doors of the +cathedral and down a narrow High Street where the people were sitting +chatting at their shop doors and the children were at play. The military +character went in front and he stopped at a pork-shop with a little +statue of a pig sitting up, in the window, and a private door that a +donkey was looking out of. + +When the donkey saw the military character he came slipping out on the +pavement to turn round and then clattered along the passage into a back +yard. So the coast being clear, the Major and me were conducted up the +common stair and into the front room on the second, a bare room with a +red tiled floor and the outside lattice blinds pulled close to darken it. +As the military character opened the blinds I saw the tower where I had +seen Jemmy, darkening as the sun got low, and I turned to the bed by the +wall and saw the Englishman. + +It was some kind of brain fever he had had, and his hair was all gone, +and some wetted folded linen lay upon his head. I looked at him very +attentive as he lay there all wasted away with his eyes closed, and I +says to the Major-- + +"_I_ never saw this face before." + +The Major looked at him very attentive too, and he says "I never saw this +face before." + +When the Major explained our words to the military character, that +gentleman shrugged his shoulders and showed the Major the card on which +it was written about the Legacy for me. It had been written with a weak +and trembling hand in bed, and I knew no more of the writing than of the +face. Neither did the Major. + +Though lying there alone, the poor creetur was as well taken care of as +could be hoped, and would have been quite unconscious of any one's +sitting by him then. I got the Major to say that we were not going away +at present and that I would come back to-morrow and watch a bit by the +bedside. But I got him to add--and I shook my head hard to make it +stronger--"We agree that we never saw this face before." + +Our boy was greatly surprised when we told him sitting out in the balcony +in the starlight, and he ran over some of those stories of former +Lodgers, of the Major's putting down, and asked wasn't it possible that +it might be this lodger or that lodger. It was not possible, and we went +to bed. + +In the morning just at breakfast-time the military character came +jingling round, and said that the doctor thought from the signs he saw +there might be some rally before the end. So I says to the Major and +Jemmy, "You two boys go and enjoy yourselves, and I'll take my Prayer +Book and go sit by the bed." So I went, and I sat there some hours, +reading a prayer for him poor soul now and then, and it was quite on in +the day when he moved his hand. + +He had been so still, that the moment he moved I knew of it, and I pulled +off my spectacles and laid down my book and rose and looked at him. From +moving one hand he began to move both, and then his action was the action +of a person groping in the dark. Long after his eyes had opened, there +was a film over them and he still felt for his way out into light. But +by slow degrees his sight cleared and his hands stopped. He saw the +ceiling, he saw the wall, he saw me. As his sight cleared, mine cleared +too, and when at last we looked in one another's faces, I started back, +and I cries passionately: + +"O you wicked wicked man! Your sin has found you out!" + +For I knew him, the moment life looked out of his eyes, to be Mr. Edson, +Jemmy's father who had so cruelly deserted Jemmy's young unmarried mother +who had died in my arms, poor tender creetur, and left Jemmy to me. + +"You cruel wicked man! You bad black traitor!" + +With the little strength he had, he made an attempt to turn over on his +wretched face to hide it. His arm dropped out of the bed and his head +with it, and there he lay before me crushed in body and in mind. Surely +the miserablest sight under the summer sun! + +"O blessed Heaven," I says a crying, "teach me what to say to this broken +mortal! I am a poor sinful creetur, and the Judgment is not mine." + +As I lifted my eyes up to the clear bright sky, I saw the high tower +where Jemmy had stood above the birds, seeing that very window; and the +last look of that poor pretty young mother when her soul brightened and +got free, seemed to shine down from it. + +"O man, man, man!" I says, and I went on my knees beside the bed; "if +your heart is rent asunder and you are truly penitent for what you did, +Our Saviour will have mercy on you yet!" + +As I leaned my face against the bed, his feeble hand could just move +itself enough to touch me. I hope the touch was penitent. It tried to +hold my dress and keep hold, but the fingers were too weak to close. + +I lifted him back upon the pillows and I says to him: + +"Can you hear me?" + +He looked yes. + +"Do you know me?" + +He looked yes, even yet more plainly. + +"I am not here alone. The Major is with me. You recollect the Major?" + +Yes. That is to say he made out yes, in the same way as before. + +"And even the Major and I are not alone. My grandson--his godson--is +with us. Do you hear? My grandson." + +The fingers made another trial to catch my sleeve, but could only creep +near it and fall. + +"Do you know who my grandson is?" + +Yes. + +"I pitied and loved his lonely mother. When his mother lay a dying I +said to her, 'My dear, this baby is sent to a childless old woman.' He +has been my pride and joy ever since. I love him as dearly as if he had +drunk from my breast. Do you ask to see my grandson before you die?" + +Yes. + +"Show me, when I leave off speaking, if you correctly understand what I +say. He has been kept unacquainted with the story of his birth. He has +no knowledge of it. No suspicion of it. If I bring him here to the side +of this bed, he will suppose you to be a perfect stranger. It is more +than I can do to keep from him the knowledge that there is such wrong and +misery in the world; but that it was ever so near him in his innocent +cradle I have kept from him, and I do keep from him, and I ever will keep +from him, for his mother's sake, and for his own." + +He showed me that he distinctly understood, and the tears fell from his +eyes. + +"Now rest, and you shall see him." + +So I got him a little wine and some brandy, and I put things straight +about his bed. But I began to be troubled in my mind lest Jemmy and the +Major might be too long of coming back. What with this occupation for my +thoughts and hands, I didn't hear a foot upon the stairs, and was +startled when I saw the Major stopped short in the middle of the room by +the eyes of the man upon the bed, and knowing him then, as I had known +him a little while ago. + +There was anger in the Major's face, and there was horror and repugnance +and I don't know what. So I went up to him and I led him to the bedside, +and when I clasped my hands and lifted of them up, the Major did the +like. + +"O Lord" I says "Thou knowest what we two saw together of the sufferings +and sorrows of that young creetur now with Thee. If this dying man is +truly penitent, we two together humbly pray Thee to have mercy on him!" + +The Major says "Amen!" and then after a little stop I whispers him, "Dear +old friend fetch our beloved boy." And the Major, so clever as to have +got to understand it all without being told a word, went away and brought +him. + +Never never never shall I forget the fair bright face of our boy when he +stood at the foot of the bed, looking at his unknown father. And O so +like his dear young mother then! + +"Jemmy" I says, "I have found out all about this poor gentleman who is so +ill, and he did lodge in the old house once. And as he wants to see all +belonging to it, now that he is passing away, I sent for you." + +"Ah poor man!" says Jemmy stepping forward and touching one of his hands +with great gentleness. "My heart melts for him. Poor, poor man!" + +The eyes that were so soon to close for ever turned to me, and I was not +that strong in the pride of my strength that I could resist them. + +"My darling boy, there is a reason in the secret history of this fellow- +creetur lying as the best and worst of us must all lie one day, which I +think would ease his spirit in his last hour if you would lay your cheek +against his forehead and say, 'May God forgive you!'" + +"O Gran," says Jemmy with a full heart, "I am not worthy!" But he leaned +down and did it. Then the faltering fingers made out to catch hold of my +sleeve at last, and I believe he was a-trying to kiss me when he died. + +* * * * * + +There my dear! There you have the story of my Legacy in full, and it's +worth ten times the trouble I have spent upon it if you are pleased to +like it. + +You might suppose that it set us against the little French town of Sens, +but no we didn't find that. I found myself that I never looked up at the +high tower atop of the other tower, but the days came back again when +that fair young creetur with her pretty bright hair trusted in me like a +mother, and the recollection made the place so peaceful to me as I can't +express. And every soul about the hotel down to the pigeons in the +courtyard made friends with Jemmy and the Major, and went lumbering away +with them on all sorts of expeditions in all sorts of vehicles drawn by +rampagious cart-horses,--with heads and without,--mud for paint and ropes +for harness,--and every new friend dressed in blue like a butcher, and +every new horse standing on his hind legs wanting to devour and consume +every other horse, and every man that had a whip to crack crack-crack- +crack-crack-cracking it as if it was a schoolboy with his first. As to +the Major my dear that man lived the greater part of his time with a +little tumbler in one hand and a bottle of small wine in the other, and +whenever he saw anybody else with a little tumbler, no matter who it +was,--the military character with the tags, or the inn-servants at their +supper in the courtyard, or townspeople a chatting on a bench, or country +people a starting home after market,--down rushes the Major to clink his +glass against their glasses and cry,--Hola! Vive Somebody! or Vive +Something! as if he was beside himself. And though I could not quite +approve of the Major's doing it, still the ways of the world are the ways +of the world varying according to the different parts of it, and dancing +at all in the open Square with a lady that kept a barber's shop my +opinion is that the Major was right to dance his best and to lead off +with a power that I did not think was in him, though I was a little +uneasy at the Barricading sound of the cries that were set up by the +other dancers and the rest of the company, until when I says "What are +they ever calling out Jemmy?" Jemmy says, "They're calling out Gran, +Bravo the Military English! Bravo the Military English!" which was very +gratifying to my feelings as a Briton and became the name the Major was +known by. + +But every evening at a regular time we all three sat out in the balcony +of the hotel at the end of the courtyard, looking up at the golden and +rosy light as it changed on the great towers, and looking at the shadows +of the towers as they changed on all about us ourselves included, and +what do you think we did there? My dear, if Jemmy hadn't brought some +other of those stories of the Major's taking down from the telling of +former lodgers at Eighty-one Norfolk Street, and if he didn't bring 'em +out with this speech: + +"Here you are Gran! Here you are godfather! More of 'em! I'll read. +And though you wrote 'em for me, godfather, I know you won't disapprove +of my making 'em over to Gran; will you?" + +"No, my dear boy," says the Major. "Everything we have is hers, and we +are hers." + +"Hers ever affectionately and devotedly J. Jackman, and J. Jackman +Lirriper," cries the Young Rogue giving me a close hug. "Very well then +godfather. Look here. As Gran is in the Legacy way just now, I shall +make these stories a part of Gran's Legacy. I'll leave 'em to her. What +do you say godfather?" + +"Hip hip Hurrah!" says the Major. + +"Very well then," cries Jemmy all in a bustle. "Vive the Military +English! Vive the Lady Lirriper! Vive the Jemmy Jackman Ditto! Vive +the Legacy! Now, you look out, Gran. And you look out, godfather. +_I'll_ read! And I'll tell you what I'll do besides. On the last night +of our holiday here when we are all packed and going away, I'll top up +with something of my own." + +"Mind you do sir" says I. + + + + +CHAPTER II--MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW JEMMY TOPPED UP + + +Well my dear and so the evening readings of those jottings of the Major's +brought us round at last to the evening when we were all packed and going +away next day, and I do assure you that by that time though it was +deliciously comfortable to look forward to the dear old house in Norfolk +Street again, I had formed quite a high opinion of the French nation and +had noticed them to be much more homely and domestic in their families +and far more simple and amiable in their lives than I had ever been led +to expect, and it did strike me between ourselves that in one particular +they might be imitated to advantage by another nation which I will not +mention, and that is in the courage with which they take their little +enjoyments on little means and with little things and don't let solemn +big-wigs stare them out of countenance or speechify them dull, of which +said solemn big-wigs I have ever had the one opinion that I wish they +were all made comfortable separately in coppers with the lids on and +never let out any more. + +"Now young man," I says to Jemmy when we brought our chairs into the +balcony that last evening, "you please to remember who was to 'top up.'" + +"All right Gran" says Jemmy. "I am the illustrious personage." + +But he looked so serious after he had made me that light answer, that the +Major raised his eyebrows at me and I raised mine at the Major. + +"Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, "you can hardly think how much my mind +has run on Mr. Edson's death." + +It gave me a little check. "Ah! it was a sad scene my love" I says, "and +sad remembrances come back stronger than merry. But this" I says after a +little silence, to rouse myself and the Major and Jemmy all together, "is +not topping up. Tell us your story my dear." + +"I will" says Jemmy. + +"What is the date sir?" says I. "Once upon a time when pigs drank wine?" + +"No Gran," says Jemmy, still serious; "once upon a time when the French +drank wine." + +Again I glanced at the Major, and the Major glanced at me. + +"In short, Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, looking up, "the date is this +time, and I'm going to tell you Mr. Edson's story." + +The flutter that it threw me into. The change of colour on the part of +the Major! + +"That is to say, you understand," our bright-eyed boy says, "I am going +to give you my version of it. I shall not ask whether it's right or not, +firstly because you said you knew very little about it, Gran, and +secondly because what little you did know was a secret." + +I folded my hands in my lap and I never took my eyes off Jemmy as he went +running on. + +"The unfortunate gentleman" Jemmy commences, "who is the subject of our +present narrative was the son of Somebody, and was born Somewhere, and +chose a profession Somehow. It is not with those parts of his career +that we have to deal; but with his early attachment to a young and +beautiful lady." + +I thought I should have dropped. I durstn't look at the Major; but I +know what his state was, without looking at him. + +"The father of our ill-starred hero" says Jemmy, copying as it seemed to +me the style of some of his story-books, "was a worldly man who +entertained ambitious views for his only son and who firmly set his face +against the contemplated alliance with a virtuous but penniless orphan. +Indeed he went so far as roundly to assure our hero that unless he weaned +his thoughts from the object of his devoted affection, he would +disinherit him. At the same time, he proposed as a suitable match the +daughter of a neighbouring gentleman of a good estate, who was neither +ill-favoured nor unamiable, and whose eligibility in a pecuniary point of +view could not be disputed. But young Mr. Edson, true to the first and +only love that had inflamed his breast, rejected all considerations of +self-advancement, and, deprecating his father's anger in a respectful +letter, ran away with her." + +My dear I had begun to take a turn for the better, but when it come to +running away I began to take another turn for the worse. + +"The lovers" says Jemmy "fled to London and were united at the altar of +Saint Clement's Danes. And it is at this period of their simple but +touching story that we find them inmates of the dwelling of a +highly-respected and beloved lady of the name of Gran, residing within a +hundred miles of Norfolk Street." + +I felt that we were almost safe now, I felt that the dear boy had no +suspicion of the bitter truth, and I looked at the Major for the first +time and drew a long breath. The Major gave me a nod. + +"Our hero's father" Jemmy goes on "proving implacable and carrying his +threat into unrelenting execution, the struggles of the young couple in +London were severe, and would have been far more so, but for their good +angel's having conducted them to the abode of Mrs. Gran; who, divining +their poverty (in spite of their endeavours to conceal it from her), by a +thousand delicate arts smoothed their rough way, and alleviated the +sharpness of their first distress." + +Here Jemmy took one of my hands in one of his, and began a marking the +turns of his story by making me give a beat from time to time upon his +other hand. + +"After a while, they left the house of Mrs. Gran, and pursued their +fortunes through a variety of successes and failures elsewhere. But in +all reverses, whether for good or evil, the words of Mr. Edson to the +fair young partner of his life were, 'Unchanging Love and Truth will +carry us through all!'" + +My hand trembled in the dear boy's, those words were so wofully unlike +the fact. + +"Unchanging Love and Truth" says Jemmy over again, as if he had a proud +kind of a noble pleasure in it, "will carry us through all! Those were +his words. And so they fought their way, poor but gallant and happy, +until Mrs. Edson gave birth to a child." + +"A daughter," I says. + +"No," says Jemmy, "a son. And the father was so proud of it that he +could hardly bear it out of his sight. But a dark cloud overspread the +scene. Mrs. Edson sickened, drooped, and died." + +"Ah! Sickened, drooped, and died!" I says. + +"And so Mr. Edson's only comfort, only hope on earth, and only stimulus +to action, was his darling boy. As the child grew older, he grew so like +his mother that he was her living picture. It used to make him wonder +why his father cried when he kissed him. But unhappily he was like his +mother in constitution as well as in face, and lo, died too before he had +grown out of childhood. Then Mr. Edson, who had good abilities, in his +forlornness and despair, threw them all to the winds. He became +apathetic, reckless, lost. Little by little he sank down, down, down, +down, until at last he almost lived (I think) by gaming. And so sickness +overtook him in the town of Sens in France, and he lay down to die. But +now that he laid him down when all was done, and looked back upon the +green Past beyond the time when he had covered it with ashes, he thought +gratefully of the good Mrs. Gran long lost sight of, who had been so kind +to him and his young wife in the early days of their marriage, and he +left the little that he had as a last Legacy to her. And she, being +brought to see him, at first no more knew him than she would know from +seeing the ruin of a Greek or Roman Temple, what it used to be before it +fell; but at length she remembered him. And then he told her, with +tears, of his regret for the misspent part of his life, and besought her +to think as mildly of it as she could, because it was the poor fallen +Angel of his unchanging Love and Constancy after all. And because she +had her grandson with her, and he fancied that his own boy, if he had +lived, might have grown to be something like him, he asked her to let him +touch his forehead with his cheek and say certain parting words." + +Jemmy's voice sank low when it got to that, and tears filled my eyes, and +filled the Major's. + +"You little Conjurer" I says, "how did you ever make it all out? Go in +and write it every word down, for it's a wonder." + +Which Jemmy did, and I have repeated it to you my dear from his writing. + +Then the Major took my hand and kissed it, and said, "Dearest madam all +has prospered with us." + +"Ah Major" I says drying my eyes, "we needn't have been afraid. We might +have known it. Treachery don't come natural to beaming youth; but trust +and pity, love and constancy,--they do, thank God!" + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. 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It's pleasant to drop into my own easy-chair my dear though a +little palpitating what with trotting up-stairs and what with +trotting down, and why kitchen stairs should all be corner stairs is +for the builders to justify though I do not think they fully +understand their trade and never did, else why the sameness and why +not more conveniences and fewer draughts and likewise making a +practice of laying the plaster on too thick I am well convinced +which holds the damp, and as to chimney-pots putting them on by +guess-work like hats at a party and no more knowing what their +effect will be upon the smoke bless you than I do if so much, except +that it will mostly be either to send it down your throat in a +straight form or give it a twist before it goes there. And what I +says speaking as I find of those new metal chimneys all manner of +shapes (there's a row of 'em at Miss Wozenham's lodging-house lower +down on the other side of the way) is that they only work your smoke +into artificial patterns for you before you swallow it and that I'd +quite as soon swallow mine plain, the flavour being the same, not to +mention the conceit of putting up signs on the top of your house to +show the forms in which you take your smoke into your inside. + +Being here before your eyes my dear in my own easy-chair in my own +quiet room in my own Lodging-House Number Eighty-one Norfolk Street +Strand London situated midway between the City and St. James's--if +anything is where it used to be with these hotels calling themselves +Limited but called unlimited by Major Jackman rising up everywhere +and rising up into flagstaffs where they can't go any higher, but my +mind of those monsters is give me a landlord's or landlady's +wholesome face when I come off a journey and not a brass plate with +an electrified number clicking out of it which it's not in nature +can be glad to see me and to which I don't want to be hoisted like +molasses at the Docks and left there telegraphing for help with the +most ingenious instruments but quite in vain--being here my dear I +have no call to mention that I am still in the Lodgings as a +business hoping to die in the same and if agreeable to the clergy +partly read over at Saint Clement's Danes and concluded in Hatfield +churchyard when lying once again by my poor Lirriper ashes to ashes +and dust to dust. + +Neither should I tell you any news my dear in telling you that the +Major is still a fixture in the Parlours quite as much so as the +roof of the house, and that Jemmy is of boys the best and brightest +and has ever had kept from him the cruel story of his poor pretty +young mother Mrs. Edson being deserted in the second floor and dying +in my arms, fully believing that I am his born Gran and him an +orphan, though what with engineering since he took a taste for it +and him and the Major making Locomotives out of parasols broken iron +pots and cotton-reels and them absolutely a getting off the line and +falling over the table and injuring the passengers almost equal to +the originals it really is quite wonderful. And when I says to the +Major, "Major can't you by ANY means give us a communication with +the guard?" the Major says quite huffy, "No madam it's not to be +done," and when I says "Why not?" the Major says, "That is between +us who are in the Railway Interest madam and our friend the Right +Honourable Vice-President of the Board of Trade" and if you'll +believe me my dear the Major wrote to Jemmy at school to consult him +on the answer I should have before I could get even that amount of +unsatisfactoriness out of the man, the reason being that when we +first began with the little model and the working signals beautiful +and perfect (being in general as wrong as the real) and when I says +laughing "What appointment am I to hold in this undertaking +gentlemen?" Jemmy hugs me round the neck and tells me dancing, "You +shall be the Public Gran" and consequently they put upon me just as +much as ever they like and I sit a growling in my easy-chair. + +My dear whether it is that a grown man as clever as the Major cannot +give half his heart and mind to anything--even a plaything--but must +get into right down earnest with it, whether it is so or whether it +is not so I do not undertake to say, but Jemmy is far out-done by +the serious and believing ways of the Major in the management of the +United Grand Junction Lirriper and Jackman Great Norfolk Parlour +Line, "For" says my Jemmy with the sparkling eyes when it was +christened, "we must have a whole mouthful of name Gran or our dear +old Public" and there the young rogue kissed me, "won't stump up." +So the Public took the shares--ten at ninepence, and immediately +when that was spent twelve Preference at one and sixpence--and they +were all signed by Jemmy and countersigned by the Major, and between +ourselves much better worth the money than some shares I have paid +for in my time. In the same holidays the line was made and worked +and opened and ran excursions and had collisions and burst its +boilers and all sorts of accidents and offences all most regular +correct and pretty. The sense of responsibility entertained by the +Major as a military style of station-master my dear starting the +down train behind time and ringing one of those little bells that +you buy with the little coal-scuttles off the tray round the man's +neck in the street did him honour, but noticing the Major of a night +when he is writing out his monthly report to Jemmy at school of the +state of the Rolling Stock and the Permanent Way and all the rest of +it (the whole kept upon the Major's sideboard and dusted with his +own hands every morning before varnishing his boots) I notice him as +full of thought and care as full can be and frowning in a fearful +manner, but indeed the Major does nothing by halves as witness his +great delight in going out surveying with Jemmy when he has Jemmy to +go with, carrying a chain and a measuring-tape and driving I don't +know what improvements right through Westminster Abbey and fully +believed in the streets to be knocking everything upside down by Act +of Parliament. As please Heaven will come to pass when Jemmy takes +to that as a profession! + +Mentioning my poor Lirriper brings into my head his own youngest +brother the Doctor though Doctor of what I am sure it would be hard +to say unless Liquor, for neither Physic nor Music nor yet Law does +Joshua Lirriper know a morsel of except continually being summoned +to the County Court and having orders made upon him which he runs +away from, and once was taken in the passage of this very house with +an umbrella up and the Major's hat on, giving his name with the +door-mat round him as Sir Johnson Jones, K.C.B. in spectacles +residing at the Horse Guards. On which occasion he had got into the +house not a minute before, through the girl letting him on the mat +when he sent in a piece of paper twisted more like one of those +spills for lighting candles than a note, offering me the choice +between thirty shillings in hand and his brains on the premises +marked immediate and waiting for an answer. My dear it gave me such +a dreadful turn to think of the brains of my poor dear Lirriper's +own flesh and blood flying about the new oilcloth however unworthy +to be so assisted, that I went out of my room here to ask him what +he would take once for all not to do it for life when I found him in +the custody of two gentlemen that I should have judged to be in the +feather-bed trade if they had not announced the law, so fluffy were +their personal appearance. "Bring your chains, sir," says Joshua to +the littlest of the two in the biggest hat, "rivet on my fetters!" +Imagine my feelings when I pictered him clanking up Norfolk Street +in irons and Miss Wozenham looking out of window! "Gentlemen," I +says all of a tremble and ready to drop "please to bring him into +Major Jackman's apartments." So they brought him into the Parlours, +and when the Major spies his own curly-brimmed hat on him which +Joshua Lirriper had whipped off its peg in the passage for a +military disguise he goes into such a tearing passion that he tips +it off his head with his hand and kicks it up to the ceiling with +his foot where it grazed long afterwards. "Major" I says "be cool +and advise me what to do with Joshua my dead and gone Lirriper's own +youngest brother." "Madam" says the Major "my advice is that you +board and lodge him in a Powder Mill, with a handsome gratuity to +the proprietor when exploded." "Major" I says "as a Christian you +cannot mean your words." "Madam" says the Major "by the Lord I do!" +and indeed the Major besides being with all his merits a very +passionate man for his size had a bad opinion of Joshua on account +of former troubles even unattended by liberties taken with his +apparel. When Joshua Lirriper hears this conversation betwixt us he +turns upon the littlest one with the biggest hat and says "Come sir! +Remove me to my vile dungeon. Where is my mouldy straw?" My dear +at the picter of him rising in my mind dressed almost entirely in +padlocks like Baron Trenck in Jemmy's book I was so overcome that I +burst into tears and I says to the Major, "Major take my keys and +settle with these gentlemen or I shall never know a happy minute +more," which was done several times both before and since, but still +I must remember that Joshua Lirriper has his good feelings and shows +them in being always so troubled in his mind when he cannot wear +mourning for his brother. Many a long year have I left off my +widow's mourning not being wishful to intrude, but the tender point +in Joshua that I cannot help a little yielding to is when he writes +"One single sovereign would enable me to wear a decent suit of +mourning for my much-loved brother. I vowed at the time of his +lamented death that I would ever wear sables in memory of him but +Alas how short-sighted is man, How keep that vow when penniless!" +It says a good deal for the strength of his feelings that he +couldn't have been seven year old when my poor Lirriper died and to +have kept to it ever since is highly creditable. But we know +there's good in all of us,--if we only knew where it was in some of +us,--and though it was far from delicate in Joshua to work upon the +dear child's feelings when first sent to school and write down into +Lincolnshire for his pocket-money by return of post and got it, +still he is my poor Lirriper's own youngest brother and mightn't +have meant not paying his bill at the Salisbury Arms when his +affection took him down to stay a fortnight at Hatfield churchyard +and might have meant to keep sober but for bad company. +Consequently if the Major HAD played on him with the garden-engine +which he got privately into his room without my knowing of it, I +think that much as I should have regretted it there would have been +words betwixt the Major and me. Therefore my dear though he played +on Mr. Buffle by mistake being hot in his head, and though it might +have been misrepresented down at Wozenham's into not being ready for +Mr. Buffle in other respects he being the Assessed Taxes, still I do +not so much regret it as perhaps I ought. And whether Joshua +Lirriper will yet do well in life I cannot say, but I did hear of +his coming, out at a Private Theatre in the character of a Bandit +without receiving any offers afterwards from the regular managers. + +Mentioning Mr. Baffle gives an instance of there being good in +persons where good is not expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr. +Buffle's manners when engaged in his business were not agreeable. +To collect is one thing, and to look about as if suspicious of the +goods being gradually removing in the dead of the night by a back +door is another, over taxing you have no control but suspecting is +voluntary. Allowances too must ever be made for a gentleman of the +Major's warmth not relishing being spoke to with a pen in the mouth, +and while I do not know that it is more irritable to my own feelings +to have a low-crowned hat with a broad brim kept on in doors than +any other hat still I can appreciate the Major's, besides which +without bearing malice or vengeance the Major is a man that scores +up arrears as his habit always was with Joshua Lirriper. So at last +my dear the Major lay in wait for Mr. Buffle, and it worrited me a +good deal. Mr. Buffle gives his rap of two sharp knocks one day and +the Major bounces to the door. "Collector has called for two +quarters' Assessed Taxes" says Mr. Buffle. "They are ready for him" +says the Major and brings him in here. But on the way Mr. Buffle +looks about him in his usual suspicious manner and the Major fires +and asks him "Do you see a Ghost sir?" "No sir" says Mr. Buffle. +"Because I have before noticed you" says the Major "apparently +looking for a spectre very hard beneath the roof of my respected +friend. When you find that supernatural agent, be so good as point +him out sir." Mr. Buffle stares at the Major and then nods at me. +"Mrs. Lirriper sir" says the Major going off into a perfect steam +and introducing me with his hand. "Pleasure of knowing her" says +Mr. Buffle. "A--hum!--Jemmy Jackman sir!" says the Major +introducing himself. "Honour of knowing you by sight" says Mr. +Buffle. "Jemmy Jackman sir" says the Major wagging his head +sideways in a sort of obstinate fury "presents to you his esteemed +friend that lady Mrs. Emma Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk Street +Strand London in the County of Middlesex in the United Kingdom of +Great Britain and Ireland. Upon which occasion sir," says the +Major, "Jemmy Jackman takes your hat off." Mr. Buffle looks at his +hat where the Major drops it on the floor, and he picks it up and +puts it on again. "Sir" says the Major very red and looking him +full in the face "there are two quarters of the Gallantry Taxes due +and the Collector has called." Upon which if you can believe my +words my dear the Major drops Mr. Buffle's hat off again. "This--" +Mr. Buffle begins very angry with his pen in his mouth, when the +Major steaming more and more says "Take your bit out sir! Or by the +whole infernal system of Taxation of this country and every +individual figure in the National Debt, I'll get upon your back and +ride you like a horse!" which it's my belief he would have done and +even actually jerking his neat little legs ready for a spring as it +was. "This," says Mr. Buffle without his pen "is an assault and +I'll have the law of you." "Sir" replies the Major "if you are a +man of honour, your Collector of whatever may be due on the +Honourable Assessment by applying to Major Jackman at the Parlours +Mrs. Lirriper's Lodgings, may obtain what he wants in full at any +moment." + +When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with those meaning words my dear +I literally gasped for a teaspoonful of salvolatile in a wine-glass +of water, and I says "Pray let it go no farther gentlemen I beg and +beseech of you!" But the Major could be got to do nothing else but +snort long after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the effect it had upon my +whole mass of blood when on the next day of Mr. Buffle's rounds the +Major spruced himself up and went humming a tune up and down the +street with one eye almost obliterated by his hat there are not +expressions in Johnson's Dictionary to state. But I safely put the +street door on the jar and got behind the Major's blinds with my +shawl on and my mind made up the moment I saw danger to rush out +screeching till my voice failed me and catch the Major round the +neck till my strength went and have all parties bound. I had not +been behind the blinds a quarter of an hour when I saw Mr. Buffle +approaching with his Collecting-books in his hand. The Major +likewise saw him approaching and hummed louder and himself +approached. They met before the Airy railings. The Major takes off +his hat at arm's length and says "Mr. Buffle I believe?" Mr. Buffle +takes off HIS hat at arm's length and says "That is my name sir." +Says the Major "Have you any commands for me, Mr. Buffle?" Says Mr. +Buffle "Not any sir." Then my dear both of 'em bowed very low and +haughty and parted, and whenever Mr. Buffle made his rounds in +future him and the Major always met and bowed before the Airy +railings, putting me much in mind of Hamlet and the other gentleman +in mourning before killing one another, though I could have wished +the other gentleman had done it fairer and even if less polite no +poison. + +Mr. Buffle's family were not liked in this neighbourhood, for when +you are a householder my dear you'll find it does not come by nature +to like the Assessed, and it was considered besides that a one-horse +pheayton ought not to have elevated Mrs. Buffle to that height +especially when purloined from the Taxes which I myself did consider +uncharitable. But they were NOT liked and there was that domestic +unhappiness in the family in consequence of their both being very +hard with Miss Buffle and one another on account of Miss Buffle's +favouring Mr. Buffle's articled young gentleman, that it WAS +whispered that Miss Buffle would go either into a consumption or a +convent she being so very thin and off her appetite and two close- +shaved gentlemen with white bands round their necks peeping round +the corner whenever she went out in waistcoats resembling black +pinafores. So things stood towards Mr. Buffle when one night I was +woke by a frightful noise and a smell of burning, and going to my +bedroom window saw the whole street in a glow. Fortunately we had +two sets empty just then and before I could hurry on some clothes I +heard the Major hammering at the attics' doors and calling out +"Dress yourselves!--Fire! Don't be frightened!--Fire! Collect your +presence of mind!--Fire! All right--Fire!" most tremenjously. As I +opened my bedroom door the Major came tumbling in over himself and +me, and caught me in his arms. "Major" I says breathless "where is +it?" "I don't know dearest madam" says the Major--"Fire! Jemmy +Jackman will defend you to the last drop of his blood--Fire! If the +dear boy was at home what a treat this would be for him--Fire!" and +altogether very collected and bold except that he couldn't say a +single sentence without shaking me to the very centre with roaring +Fire. We ran down to the drawing-room and put our heads out of +window, and the Major calls to an unfeeling young monkey, scampering +by be joyful and ready to split "Where is it?--Fire!" The monkey +answers without stopping "O here's a lark! Old Buffle's been +setting his house alight to prevent its being found out that he +boned the Taxes. Hurrah! Fire!" And then the sparks came flying +up and the smoke came pouring down and the crackling of flames and +spatting of water and banging of engines and hacking of axes and +breaking of glass and knocking at doors and the shouting and crying +and hurrying and the heat and altogether gave me a dreadful +palpitation. "Don't be frightened dearest madam," says the Major, +"--Fire! There's nothing to be alarmed at--Fire! Don't open the +street door till I come back--Fire! I'll go and see if I can be of +any service--Fire! You're quite composed and comfortable ain't +you?--Fire, Fire, Fire!" It was in vain for me to hold the man and +tell him he'd be galloped to death by the engines--pumped to death +by his over-exertions--wet-feeted to death by the slop and mess-- +flattened to death when the roofs fell in--his spirit was up and he +went scampering off after the young monkey with all the breath he +had and none to spare, and me and the girls huddled together at the +parlour windows looking at the dreadful flames above the houses over +the way, Mr. Buffle's being round the corner. Presently what should +we see but some people running down the street straight to our door, +and then the Major directing operations in the busiest way, and then +some more people and then--carried in a chair similar to Guy Fawkes- +-Mr. Buffle in a blanket! + +My dear the Major has Mr. Buffle brought up our steps and whisked +into the parlour and carted out on the sofy, and then he and all the +rest of them without so much as a word burst away again full speed +leaving the impression of a vision except for Mr. Buffle awful in +his blanket with his eyes a rolling. In a twinkling they all burst +back again with Mrs. Buffle in another blanket, which whisked in and +carted out on the sofy they all burst off again and all burst back +again with Miss Buffle in another blanket, which again whisked in +and carted out they all burst off again and all burst back again +with Mr. Buffle's articled young gentleman in another blanket--him a +holding round the necks of two men carrying him by the legs, similar +to the picter of the disgraceful creetur who has lost the fight (but +where the chair I do not know) and his hair having the appearance of +newly played upon. When all four of a row, the Major rubs his hands +and whispers me with what little hoarseness he can get together, "If +our dear remarkable boy was only at home what a delightful treat +this would be for him!" + +My dear we made them some hot tea and toast and some hot brandy-and- +water with a little comfortable nutmeg in it, and at first they were +scared and low in their spirits but being fully insured got +sociable. And the first use Mr. Buffle made of his tongue was to +call the Major his Preserver and his best of friends and to say "My +for ever dearest sir let me make you known to Mrs. Buffle" which +also addressed him as her Preserver and her best of friends and was +fully as cordial as the blanket would admit of. Also Miss Buffle. +The articled young gentleman's head was a little light and he sat a +moaning "Robina is reduced to cinders, Robina is reduced to +cinders!" Which went more to the heart on account of his having got +wrapped in his blanket as if he was looking out of a violinceller +case, until Mr. Buffle says "Robina speak to him!" Miss Buffle says +"Dear George!" and but for the Major's pouring down brandy-and-water +on the instant which caused a catching in his throat owing to the +nutmeg and a violent fit of coughing it might have proved too much +for his strength. When the articled young gentleman got the better +of it Mr. Buffle leaned up against Mrs. Buffle being two bundles, a +little while in confidence, and then says with tears in his eyes +which the Major noticing wiped, "We have not been an united family, +let us after this danger become so, take her George." The young +gentleman could not put his arm out far to do it, but his spoken +expressions were very beautiful though of a wandering class. And I +do not know that I ever had a much pleasanter meal than the +breakfast we took together after we had all dozed, when Miss Buffle +made tea very sweetly in quite the Roman style as depicted formerly +at Covent Garden Theatre and when the whole family was most +agreeable, as they have ever proved since that night when the Major +stood at the foot of the Fire-Escape and claimed them as they came +down--the young gentleman head-foremost, which accounts. And though +I do not say that we should be less liable to think ill of one +another if strictly limited to blankets, still I do say that we +might most of us come to a better understanding if we kept one +another less at a distance. + +Why there's Wozenham's lower down on the other side of the street. +I had a feeling of much soreness several years respecting what I +must still ever call Miss Wozenham's systematic underbidding and the +likeness of the house in Bradshaw having far too many windows and a +most umbrageous and outrageous Oak which never yet was seen in +Norfolk Street nor yet a carriage and four at Wozenham's door, which +it would have been far more to Bradshaw's credit to have drawn a +cab. This frame of mind continued bitter down to the very afternoon +in January last when one of my girls, Sally Rairyganoo which I still +suspect of Irish extraction though family represented Cambridge, +else why abscond with a bricklayer of the Limerick persuasion and be +married in pattens not waiting till his black eye was decently got +round with all the company fourteen in number and one horse fighting +outside on the roof of the vehicle,--I repeat my dear my ill- +regulated state of mind towards Miss Wozenham continued down to the +very afternoon of January last past when Sally Rairyganoo came +banging (I can use no milder expression) into my room with a jump +which may be Cambridge and may not, and said "Hurroo Missis! Miss +Wozenham's sold up!" My dear when I had it thrown in my face and +conscience that the girl Sally had reason to think I could be glad +of the ruin of a fellow-creeter, I burst into tears and dropped back +in my chair and I says "I am ashamed of myself!" + +Well! I tried to settle to my tea but I could not do it what with +thinking of Miss Wozenham and her distresses. It was a wretched +night and I went up to a front window and looked over at Wozenham's +and as well as I could make it out down the street in the fog it was +the dismallest of the dismal and not a light to be seen. So at last +I save to myself "This will not do," and I puts on my oldest bonnet +and shawl not wishing Miss Wozenham to be reminded of my best at +such a time, and lo and behold you I goes over to Wozenham's and +knocks. "Miss Wozenham at home?" I says turning my head when I +heard the door go. And then I saw it was Miss Wozenham herself who +had opened it and sadly worn she was poor thing and her eyes all +swelled and swelled with crying. "Miss Wozenham" I says "it is +several years since there was a little unpleasantness betwixt us on +the subject of my grandson's cap being down your Airy. I have +overlooked it and I hope you have done the same." "Yes Mrs. +Lirriper" she says in a surprise, I have." "Then my dear" I says "I +should be glad to come in and speak a word to you." Upon my calling +her my dear Miss Wozenham breaks out a crying most pitiful, and a +not unfeeling elderly person that might have been better shaved in a +nightcap with a hat over it offering a polite apology for the mumps +having worked themselves into his constitution, and also for sending +home to his wife on the bellows which was in his hand as a writing- +desk, looks out of the back parlour and says "The lady wants a word +of comfort" and goes in again. So I was able to say quite natural +"Wants a word of comfort does she sir? Then please the pigs she +shall have it!" And Miss Wozenham and me we go into the front room +with a wretched light that seemed to have been crying too and was +sputtering out, and I says "Now my dear, tell me all," and she +wrings her hands and says "O Mrs. Lirriper that man is in possession +here, and I have not a friend in the world who is able to help me +with a shilling." + +It doesn't signify a bit what a talkative old body like me said to +Miss Wozenham when she said that, and so I'll tell you instead my +dear that I'd have given thirty shillings to have taken her over to +tea, only I durstn't on account of the Major. Not you see but what +I knew I could draw the Major out like thread and wind him round my +finger on most subjects and perhaps even on that if I was to set +myself to it, but him and me had so often belied Miss Wozenham to +one another that I was shamefaced, and I knew she had offended his +pride and never mine, and likewise I felt timid that that Rairyganoo +girl might make things awkward. So I says "My dear if you could +give me a cup of tea to clear my muddle of a head I should better +understand your affairs." And we had the tea and the affairs too +and after all it was but forty pound, and--There! she's as +industrious and straight a creeter as ever lived and has paid back +half of it already, and where's the use of saying more, particularly +when it ain't the point? For the point is that when she was a +kissing my hands and holding them in hers and kissing them again and +blessing blessing blessing, I cheered up at last and I says "Why +what a waddling old goose I have been my dear to take you for +something so very different!" "Ah but I too" says she "how have I +mistaken YOU!" "Come for goodness' sake tell me" I says "what you +thought of me?" "O" says she "I thought you had no feeling for such +a hard hand-to-mouth life as mine, and were rolling in affluence." +I says shaking my sides (and very glad to do it for I had been a +choking quite long enough) "Only look at my figure my dear and give +me your opinion whether if I was in affluence I should be likely to +roll in it? "That did it? We got as merry as grigs (whatever THEY +are, if you happen to know my dear--I don't) and I went home to my +blessed home as happy and as thankful as could be. But before I +make an end of it, think even of my having misunderstood the Major! +Yes! For next forenoon the Major came into my little room with his +brushed hat in his hand and he begins "My dearest madam--" and then +put his face in his hat as if he had just come into church. As I +sat all in a maze he came out of his hat and began again. "My +esteemed and beloved friend--" and then went into his hat again. +"Major," I cries out frightened "has anything happened to our +darling boy?" "No, no, no" says the Major "but Miss Wozenham has +been here this morning to make her excuses to me, and by the Lord I +can't get over what she told me." "Hoity toity, Major," I says "you +don't know yet that I was afraid of you last night and didn't think +half as well of you as I ought! So come out of church Major and +forgive me like a dear old friend and I'll never do so any more." +And I leave you to judge my dear whether I ever did or will. And +how affecting to think of Miss Wozenham out of her small income and +her losses doing so much for her poor old father, and keeping a +brother that had had the misfortune to soften his brain against the +hard mathematics as neat as a new pin in the three back represented +to lodgers as a lumber-room and consuming a whole shoulder of mutton +whenever provided! + +And now my dear I really am a going to tell you about my Legacy if +you're inclined to favour me with your attention, and I did fully +intend to have come straight to it only one thing does so bring up +another. It was the month of June and the day before Midsummer Day +when my girl Winifred Madgers--she was what is termed a Plymouth +Sister, and the Plymouth Brother that made away with her was quite +right, for a tidier young woman for a wife never came into a house +and afterwards called with the beautifullest Plymouth Twins--it was +the day before Midsummer Day when Winifred Madgers comes and says to +me "A gentleman from the Consul's wishes particular to speak to Mrs. +Lirriper." If you'll believe me my dear the Consols at the bank +where I have a little matter for Jemmy got into my head, and I says +"Good gracious I hope he ain't had any dreadful fall!" Says +Winifred "He don't look as if he had ma'am." And I says "Show him +in." + +The gentleman came in dark and with his hair cropped what I should +consider too close, and he says very polite "Madame Lirrwiper!" I +says, "Yes sir. Take a chair." "I come," says he "frrwom the +Frrwench Consul's." So I saw at once that it wasn't the Bank of +England. "We have rrweceived," says the gentleman turning his r's +very curious and skilful, "frrwom the Mairrwie at Sens, a +communication which I will have the honour to rrwead. Madame +Lirrwiper understands Frrwench?" "O dear no sir!" says I. "Madame +Lirriper don't understand anything of the sort." "It matters not," +says the gentleman, "I will trrwanslate." + +With that my dear the gentleman after reading something about a +Department and a Marie (which Lord forgive me I supposed till the +Major came home was Mary, and never was I more puzzled than to think +how that young woman came to have so much to do with it) translated +a lot with the most obliging pains, and it came to this:- That in +the town of Sons in France an unknown Englishman lay a dying. That +he was speechless and without motion. That in his lodging there was +a gold watch and a purse containing such and such money and a trunk +containing such and such clothes, but no passport and no papers, +except that on his table was a pack of cards and that he had written +in pencil on the back of the ace of hearts: "To the authorities. +When I am dead, pray send what is left, as a last Legacy, to Mrs. +Lirriper Eighty-one Norfolk Street Strand London." When the +gentleman had explained all this, which seemed to be drawn up much +more methodical than I should have given the French credit for, not +at that time knowing the nation, he put the document into my hand. +And much the wiser I was for that you may be sure, except that it +had the look of being made out upon grocery paper and was stamped +all over with eagles. + +"Does Madame Lirrwiper" says the gentleman "believe she rrwecognises +her unfortunate compatrrwiot?" + +You may imagine the flurry it put me into my dear to he talked to +about my compatriots. + +I says "Excuse me. Would you have the kindness sir to make your +language as simple as you can?" + +"This Englishman unhappy, at the point of death. This compatrrwiot +afflicted," says the gentleman. + +"Thank you sir" I says "I understand you now. No sir I have not the +least idea who this can be." + +"Has Madame Lirrwiper no son, no nephew, no godson, no frrwiend, no +acquaintance of any kind in Frrwance?" + +"To my certain knowledge" says I "no relation or friend, and to the +best of my belief no acquaintance." + +"Pardon me. You take Locataires?" says the gentleman. + +My dear fully believing he was offering me something with his +obliging foreign manners,-- snuff for anything I knew,--I gave a +little bend of my head and I says if you'll credit it, "No I thank +you. I have not contracted the habit." + +The gentleman looks perplexed and says "Lodgers!" + +"Oh!" says I laughing. "Bless the man! Why yes to be sure!" + +"May it not be a former lodger?" says the gentleman. "Some lodger +that you pardoned some rrwent? You have pardoned lodgers some +rrwent?" + +"Hem! It has happened sir" says I, "but I assure you I can call to +mind no gentleman of that description that this is at all likely to +be." + +In short my dear, we could make nothing of it, and the gentleman +noted down what I said and went away. But he left me the paper of +which he had two with him, and when the Major came in I says to the +Major as I put it in his hand "Major here's Old Moore's Almanac with +the hieroglyphic complete, for your opinion." + +It took the Major a little longer to read than I should have +thought, judging from the copious flow with which he seemed to be +gifted when attacking the organ-men, but at last he got through it, +and stood a gazing at me in amazement. + +"Major" I says "you're paralysed." + +"Madam" says the Major, "Jemmy Jackman is doubled up." + +Now it did so happen that the Major had been out to get a little +information about railroads and steamboats, as our boy was coming +home for his Midsummer holidays next day and we were going to take +him somewhere for a treat and a change. So while the Major stood a +gazing it came into my head to say to him "Major I wish you'd go and +look at some of your books and maps, and see whereabouts this same +town of Sens is in France." + +The Major he roused himself and he went into the Parlours and he +poked about a little, and he came back to me and he says, "Sens my +dearest madam is seventy-odd miles south of Paris." + +With what I may truly call a desperate effort "Major," I says "we'll +go there with our blessed boy." + +If ever the Major was beside himself it was at the thoughts of that +journey. All day long he was like the wild man of the woods after +meeting with an advertisement in the papers telling him something to +his advantage, and early next morning hours before Jemmy could +possibly come home he was outside in the street ready to call out to +him that we was all a going to France. Young Rosycheeks you may +believe was as wild as the Major, and they did carry on to that +degree that I says "If you two children ain't more orderly I'll pack +you both off to bed." And then they fell to cleaning up the Major's +telescope to see France with, and went out and bought a leather bag +with a snap to hang round Jemmy, and him to carry the money like a +little Fortunatus with his purse. + +If I hadn't passed my word and raised their hopes, I doubt if I +could have gone through with the undertaking but it was too late to +go back now. So on the second day after Midsummer Day we went off +by the morning mail. And when we came to the sea which I had never +seen but once in my life and that when my poor Lirriper was courting +me, the freshness of it and the deepness and the airiness and to +think that it had been rolling ever since and that it was always a +rolling and so few of us minding, made me feel quite serious. But I +felt happy too and so did Jemmy and the Major and not much motion on +the whole, though me with a swimming in the head and a sinking but +able to take notice that the foreign insides appear to be +constructed hollower than the English, leading to much more +tremenjous noises when bad sailors. + +But my dear the blueness and the lightness and the coloured look of +everything and the very sentry-boxes striped and the shining +rattling drums and the little soldiers with their waists and tidy +gaiters, when we got across to the Continent--it made me feel as if +I don't know what--as if the atmosphere had been lifted off me. And +as to lunch why bless you if I kept a man-cook and two kitchen-maids +I couldn't got it done for twice the money, and no injured young +woman a glaring at you and grudging you and acknowledging your +patronage by wishing that your food might choke you, but so civil +and so hot and attentive and every way comfortable except Jemmy +pouring wine down his throat by tumblers-full and me expecting to +see him drop under the table. + +And the way in which Jemmy spoke his French was a real charm. It +was often wanted of him, for whenever anybody spoke a syllable to me +I says "Non-comprenny, you're very kind, but it's no use--Now +Jemmy!" and then Jemmy he fires away at 'em lovely, the only thing +wanting in Jemmy's French being as it appeared to me that he hardly +ever understood a word of what they said to him which made it +scarcely of the use it might have been though in other respects a +perfect Native, and regarding the Major's fluency I should have been +of the opinion judging French by English that there might have been +a greater choice of words in the language though still I must admit +that if I hadn't known him when he asked a military gentleman in a +gray cloak what o'clock it was I should have took him for a +Frenchman born. + +Before going on to look after my Legacy we were to make one regular +day in Paris, and I leave you to judge my dear what a day THAT was +with Jemmy and the Major and the telescope and me and the prowling +young man at the inn door (but very civil too) that went along with +us to show the sights. All along the railway to Paris Jemmy and the +Major had been frightening me to death by stooping down on the +platforms at stations to inspect the engines underneath their +mechanical stomachs, and by creeping in and out I don't know where +all, to find improvements for the United Grand Junction Parlour, but +when we got out into the brilliant streets on a bright morning they +gave up all their London improvements as a bad job and gave their +minds to Paris. Says the prowling young man to me "Will I speak +Inglis No?" So I says "If you can young man I shall take it as a +favour," but after half-an-hour of it when I fully believed the man +had gone mad and me too I says "Be so good as fall back on your +French sir," knowing that then I shouldn't have the agonies of +trying to understand him, which was a happy release. Not that I +lost much more than the rest either, for I generally noticed that +when he had described something very long indeed and I says to Jemmy +"What does he say Jemmy?" Jemmy says looking with vengeance in his +eye "He is so jolly indistinct!" and that when he had described it +longer all over again and I says to Jemmy "Well Jemmy what's it all +about?" Jemmy says "He says the building was repaired in seventeen +hundred and four, Gran." + +Wherever that prowling young man formed his prowling habits I cannot +be expected to know, but the way in which he went round the corner +while we had our breakfasts and was there again when we swallowed +the last crumb was most marvellous, and just the same at dinner and +at night, prowling equally at the theatre and the inn gateway and +the shop doors when we bought a trifle or two and everywhere else +but troubled with a tendency to spit. And of Paris I can tell you +no more my dear than that it's town and country both in one, and +carved stone and long streets of high houses and gardens and +fountains and statues and trees and gold, and immensely big soldiers +and immensely little soldiers and the pleasantest nurses with the +whitest caps a playing at skipping-rope with the bunchiest babies in +the flattest caps, and clean table-cloths spread everywhere for +dinner and people sitting out of doors smoking and sipping all day +long and little plays being acted in the open air for little people +and every shop a complete and elegant room, and everybody seeming to +play at everything in this world. And as to the sparkling lights my +dear after dark, glittering high up and low down and on before and +on behind and all round, and the crowd of theatres and the crowd of +people and the crowd of all sorts, it's pure enchantment. And +pretty well the only thing that grated on me was that whether you +pay your fare at the railway or whether you change your money at a +money-dealer's or whether you take your ticket at the theatre, the +lady or gentleman is caged up (I suppose by government) behind the +strongest iron bars having more of a Zoological appearance than a +free country. + +Well to be sure when I did after all get my precious bones to bed +that night, and my Young Rogue came in to kiss me and asks "What do +you think of this lovely lovely Paris, Gran?" I says "Jemmy I feel +as if it was beautiful fireworks being let off in my head." And +very cool and refreshing the pleasant country was next day when we +went on to look after my Legacy, and rested me much and did me a +deal of good. + +So at length and at last my dear we come to Sens, a pretty little +town with a great two-towered cathedral and the rooks flying in and +out of the loopholes and another tower atop of one of the towers +like a sort of a stone pulpit. In which pulpit with the birds +skimming below him if you'll believe me, I saw a speck while I was +resting at the inn before dinner which they made signs to me was +Jemmy and which really was. I had been a fancying as I sat in the +balcony of the hotel that an Angel might light there and call down +to the people to be good, but I little thought what Jemmy all +unknown to himself was a calling down from that high place to some +one in the town. + +The pleasantest-situated inn my dear! Right under the two towers, +with their shadows a changing upon it all day like a kind of a +sundial, and country people driving in and out of the courtyard in +carts and hooded cabriolets and such like, and a market outside in +front of the cathedral, and all so quaint and like a picter. The +Major and me agreed that whatever came of my Legacy this was the +place to stay in for our holiday, and we also agreed that our dear +boy had best not be checked in his joy that night by the sight of +the Englishman if he was still alive, but that we would go together +and alone. For you are to understand that the Major not feeling +himself quite equal in his wind to the height to which Jemmy had +climbed, had come back to me and left him with the Guide. + +So after dinner when Jemmy had set off to see the river, the Major +went down to the Mairie, and presently came back with a military +character in a sword and spurs and a cocked hat and a yellow +shoulder-belt and long tags about him that he must have found +inconvenient. And the Major says "The Englishman still lies in the +same state dearest madam. This gentleman will conduct us to his +lodging." Upon which the military character pulled off his cocked +hat to me, and I took notice that he had shaved his forehead in +imitation of Napoleon Bonaparte but not like. + +We wont out at the courtyard gate and past the great doors of the +cathedral and down a narrow High Street where the people were +sitting chatting at their shop doors and the children were at play. +The military character went in front and he stopped at a pork-shop +with a little statue of a pig sitting up, in the window, and a +private door that a donkey was looking out of. + +When the donkey saw the military character he came slipping out on +the pavement to turn round and then clattered along the passage into +a back yard. So the coast being clear, the Major and me were +conducted up the common stair and into the front room on the second, +a bare room with a red tiled floor and the outside lattice blinds +pulled close to darken it. As the military character opened the +blinds I saw the tower where I had seen Jemmy, darkening as the sun +got low, and I turned to the bed by the wall and saw the Englishman. + +It was some kind of brain fever he had had, and his hair was all +gone, and some wetted folded linen lay upon his head. I looked at +him very attentive as he lay there all wasted away with his eyes +closed, and I says to the Major + +"I never saw this face before." + +The Major looked at him very attentive too, and he says "I never saw +this face before." + +When the Major explained our words to the military character, that +gentleman shrugged his shoulders and showed the Major the card on +which it was written about the Legacy for me. It had been written +with a weak and trembling hand in bed, and I knew no more of the +writing than of the face. Neither did the Major. + +Though lying there alone, the poor creetur was as well taken care of +as could be hoped, and would have been quite unconscious of any +one's sitting by him then. I got the Major to say that we were not +going away at present and that I would come back to-morrow and watch +a bit by the bedside. But I got him to add--and I shook my head +hard to make it stronger--"We agree that we never saw this face +before." + +Our boy was greatly surprised when we told him sitting out in the +balcony in the starlight, and he ran over some of those stories of +former Lodgers, of the Major's putting down, and asked wasn't it +possible that it might be this lodger or that lodger. It was not +possible, and we went to bed. + +In the morning just at breakfast-time the military character came +jingling round, and said that the doctor thought from the signs he +saw there might be some rally before the end. So I says to the +Major and Jemmy, "You two boys go and enjoy yourselves, and I'll +take my Prayer Book and go sit by the bed." So I went, and I sat +there some hours, reading a prayer for him poor soul now and then, +and it was quite on in the day when he moved his hand. + +He had been so still, that the moment he moved I knew of it, and I +pulled off my spectacles and laid down my book and rose and looked +at him. From moving one hand he began to move both, and then his +action was the action of a person groping in the dark. Long after +his eyes had opened, there was a film over them and he still felt +for his way out into light. But by slow degrees his sight cleared +and his hands stopped. He saw the ceiling, he saw the wall, he saw +me. As his sight cleared, mine cleared too, and when at last we +looked in one another's faces, I started back, and I cries +passionately: + +"O you wicked wicked man! Your sin has found you out!" + +For I knew him, the moment life looked out of his eyes, to be Mr. +Edson, Jemmy's father who had so cruelly deserted Jemmy's young +unmarried mother who had died in my arms, poor tender creetur, and +left Jemmy to me. + +"You cruel wicked man! You bad black traitor!" + +With the little strength he had, he made an attempt to turn over on +his wretched face to hide it. His arm dropped out of the bed and +his head with it, and there he lay before me crushed in body and in +mind. Surely the miserablest sight under the summer sun! + +"O blessed Heaven," I says a crying, "teach me what to say to this +broken mortal! I am a poor sinful creetur, and the Judgment is not +mine." + +As I lifted my eyes up to the clear bright sky, I saw the high tower +where Jemmy had stood above the birds, seeing that very window; and +the last look of that poor pretty young mother when her soul +brightened and got free, seemed to shine down from it. + +"O man, man, man!" I says, and I went on my knees beside the bed; +"if your heart is rent asunder and you are truly penitent for what +you did, Our Saviour will have mercy on you yet!" + +As I leaned my face against the bed, his feeble hand could just move +itself enough to touch me. I hope the touch was penitent. It tried +to hold my dress and keep hold, but the fingers were too weak to +close. + +I lifted him back upon the pillows and I says to him: + +"Can you hear me?" + +He looked yes. + +"Do you know me?" + +He looked yes, even yet more plainly. + +"I am not here alone. The Major is with me. You recollect the +Major?" + +Yes. That is to say he made out yes, in the same way as before. + +"And even the Major and I are not alone. My grandson--his godson-- +is with us. Do you hear? My grandson." + +The fingers made another trial to catch my sleeve, but could only +creep near it and fall. + +"Do you know who my grandson is?" + +Yes. + +"I pitied and loved his lonely mother. When his mother lay a dying +I said to her, 'My dear, this baby is sent to a childless old +woman.' He has been my pride and joy ever since. I love him as +dearly as if he had drunk from my breast. Do you ask to see my +grandson before you die?" + +Yes. + +"Show me, when I leave off speaking, if you correctly understand +what I say. He has been kept unacquainted with the story of his +birth. He has no knowledge of it. No suspicion of it. If I bring +him here to the side of this bed, he will suppose you to be a +perfect stranger. It is more than I can do to keep from him the +knowledge that there is such wrong and misery in the world; but that +it was ever so near him in his innocent cradle I have kept from him, +and I do keep from him, and I ever will keep from him, for his +mother's sake, and for his own." + +He showed me that he distinctly understood, and the tears fell from +his eyes. + +"Now rest, and you shall see him." + +So I got him a little wine and some brandy, and I put things +straight about his bed. But I began to be troubled in my mind lest +Jemmy and the Major might be too long of coming back. What with +this occupation for my thoughts and hands, I didn't hear a foot upon +the stairs, and was startled when I saw the Major stopped short in +the middle of the room by the eyes of the man upon the bed, and +knowing him then, as I had known him a little while ago. + +There was anger in the Major's face, and there was horror and +repugnance and I don't know what. So I went up to him and I led him +to the bedside, and when I clasped my hands and lifted of them up, +the Major did the like. + +"O Lord" I says "Thou knowest what we two saw together of the +sufferings and sorrows of that young creetur now with Thee. If this +dying man is truly penitent, we two together humbly pray Thee to +have mercy on him!" + +The Major says "Amen!" and then after a little stop I whispers him, +"Dear old friend fetch our beloved boy." And the Major, so clever +as to have got to understand it all without being told a word, went +away and brought him. + +Never never never shall I forget the fair bright face of our boy +when he stood at the foot of the bed, looking at his unknown father. +And O so like his dear young mother then! + +"Jemmy" I says, "I have found out all about this poor gentleman who +is so ill, and he did lodge in the old house once. And as he wants +to see all belonging to it, now that he is passing away, I sent for +you." + +"Ah poor man!" says Jemmy stepping forward and touching one of his +hands with great gentleness. "My heart melts for him. Poor, poor +man!" + +The eyes that were so soon to close for ever turned to me, and I was +not that strong in the pride of my strength that I could resist +them. + +"My darling boy, there is a reason in the secret history of this +fellow-creetur lying as the best and worst of us must all lie one +day, which I think would ease his spirit in his last hour if you +would lay your cheek against his forehead and say, 'May God forgive +you!'" + +"O Gran," says Jemmy with a full heart, "I am not worthy!" But he +leaned down and did it. Then the faltering fingers made out to +catch hold of my sleeve at last, and I believe he was a-trying to +kiss me when he died. + +* * * + +There my dear! There you have the story of my Legacy in full, and +it's worth ten times the trouble I have spent upon it if you are +pleased to like it. + +You might suppose that it set us against the little French town of +Sens, but no we didn't find that. I found myself that I never +looked up at the high tower atop of the other tower, but the days +came back again when that fair young creetur with her pretty bright +hair trusted in me like a mother, and the recollection made the +place so peaceful to me as I can't express. And every soul about +the hotel down to the pigeons in the courtyard made friends with +Jemmy and the Major, and went lumbering away with them on all sorts +of expeditions in all sorts of vehicles drawn by rampagious cart- +horses,--with heads and without,--mud for paint and ropes for +harness,--and every new friend dressed in blue like a butcher, and +every new horse standing on his hind legs wanting to devour and +consume every other horse, and every man that had a whip to crack +crack-crack-crack-crack-cracking it as if it was a schoolboy with +his first. As to the Major my dear that man lived the greater part +of his time with a little tumbler in one hand and a bottle of small +wine in the other, and whenever he saw anybody else with a little +tumbler, no matter who it was,--the military character with the +tags, or the inn-servants at their supper in the courtyard, or +townspeople a chatting on a bench, or country people a starting home +after market,--down rushes the Major to clink his glass against +their glasses and cry,--Hola! Vive Somebody! or Vive Something! as +if he was beside himself. And though I could not quite approve of +the Major's doing it, still the ways of the world are the ways of +the world varying according to the different parts of it, and +dancing at all in the open Square with a lady that kept a barber's +shop my opinion is that the Major was right to dance his best and to +lead off with a power that I did not think was in him, though I was +a little uneasy at the Barricading sound of the cries that were set +up by the other dancers and the rest of the company, until when I +says "What are they ever calling out Jemmy?" Jemmy says, "They're +calling out Gran, Bravo the Military English! Bravo the Military +English!" which was very gratifying to my feelings as a Briton and +became the name the Major was known by. + +But every evening at a regular time we all three sat out in the +balcony of the hotel at the end of the courtyard, looking up at the +golden and rosy light as it changed on the great towers, and looking +at the shadows of the towers as they changed on all about us +ourselves included, and what do you think we did there? My dear, if +Jemmy hadn't brought some other of those stories of the Major's +taking down from the telling of former lodgers at Eighty-one Norfolk +Street, and if he didn't bring 'em out with this speech: + +"Here you are Gran! Here you are godfather! More of 'em! I'll +read. And though you wrote 'em for me, godfather, I know you won't +disapprove of my making 'em over to Gran; will you?" + +"No, my dear boy," says the Major. "Everything we have is hers, and +we are hers." + +"Hers ever affectionately and devotedly J. Jackman, and J. Jackman +Lirriper," cries the Young Rogue giving me a close hug. "Very well +then godfather. Look here. As Gran is in the Legacy way just now, +I shall make these stories a part of Gran's Legacy. I'll leave 'em +to her. What do you say godfather?" + +"Hip hip Hurrah!" says the Major. + +"Very well then," cries Jemmy all in a bustle. "Vive the Military +English! Vive the Lady Lirriper! Vive the Jemmy Jackman Ditto! +Vive the Legacy! Now, you look out, Gran. And you look out, +godfather. I'LL read! And I'll tell you what I'll do besides. On +the last night of our holiday here when we are all packed and going +away, I'll top up with something of my own." + +"Mind you do sir" says I. + + + +CHAPTER II--MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW JEMMY TOPPED UP + + + +Well my dear and so the evening readings of those jottings of the +Major's brought us round at last to the evening when we were all +packed and going away next day, and I do assure you that by that +time though it was deliciously comfortable to look forward to the +dear old house in Norfolk Street again, I had formed quite a high +opinion of the French nation and had noticed them to be much more +homely and domestic in their families and far more simple and +amiable in their lives than I had ever been led to expect, and it +did strike me between ourselves that in one particular they might be +imitated to advantage by another nation which I will not mention, +and that is in the courage with which they take their little +enjoyments on little means and with little things and don't let +solemn big-wigs stare them out of countenance or speechify them +dull, of which said solemn big-wigs I have ever had the one opinion +that I wish they were all made comfortable separately in coppers +with the lids on and never let out any more. + +"Now young man," I says to Jemmy when we brought our chairs into the +balcony that last evening, "you please to remember who was to 'top +up.'" + +"All right Gran" says Jemmy. "I am the illustrious personage." + +But he looked so serious after he had made me that light answer, +that the Major raised his eyebrows at me and I raised mine at the +Major. + +"Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, "you can hardly think how much my +mind has run on Mr. Edson's death." + +It gave me a little check. "Ah! it was a sad scene my love" I says, +"and sad remembrances come back stronger than merry. But this" I +says after a little silence, to rouse myself and the Major and Jemmy +all together, "is not topping up. Tell us your story my dear." + +"I will" says Jemmy. + +"What is the date sir?" says I. "Once upon a time when pigs drank +wine?" + +"No Gran," says Jemmy, still serious; "once upon a time when the +French drank wine." + +Again I glanced at the Major, and the Major glanced at me. + +"In short, Gran and godfather," says Jemmy, looking up, "the date is +this time, and I'm going to tell you Mr. Edson's story." + +The flutter that it threw me into. The change of colour on the part +of the Major! + +"That is to say, you understand," our bright-eyed boy says, "I am +going to give you my version of it. I shall not ask whether it's +right or not, firstly because you said you knew very little about +it, Gran, and secondly because what little you did know was a +secret." + +I folded my hands in my lap and I never took my eyes off Jemmy as he +went running on. + +"The unfortunate gentleman" Jemmy commences, "who is the subject of +our present narrative was the son of Somebody, and was born +Somewhere, and chose a profession Somehow. It is not with those +parts of his career that we have to deal; but with his early +attachment to a young and beautiful lady." + +I thought I should have dropped. I durstn't look at the Major; but +I know what his state was, without looking at him. + +"The father of our ill-starred hero" says Jemmy, copying as it +seemed to me the style of some of his story-books, "was a worldly +man who entertained ambitious views for his only son and who firmly +set his face against the contemplated alliance with a virtuous but +penniless orphan. Indeed he went so far as roundly to assure our +hero that unless he weaned his thoughts from the object of his +devoted affection, he would disinherit him. At the same time, he +proposed as a suitable match the daughter of a neighbouring +gentleman of a good estate, who was neither ill-favoured nor +unamiable, and whose eligibility in a pecuniary point of view could +not be disputed. But young Mr. Edson, true to the first and only +love that had inflamed his breast, rejected all considerations of +self-advancement, and, deprecating his father's anger in a +respectful letter, ran away with her." + +My dear I had begun to take a turn for the better, but when it come +to running away I began to take another turn for the worse. + +"The lovers" says Jemmy "fled to London and were united at the altar +of Saint Clement's Danes. And it is at this period of their simple +but touching story that we find them inmates of the dwelling of a +highly-respected and beloved lady of the name of Gran, residing +within a hundred miles of Norfolk Street." + +I felt that we were almost safe now, I felt that the dear boy had no +suspicion of the bitter truth, and I looked at the Major for the +first time and drew a long breath. The Major gave me a nod. + +"Our hero's father" Jemmy goes on "proving implacable and carrying +his threat into unrelenting execution, the struggles of the young +couple in London were severe, and would have been far more so, but +for their good angel's having conducted them to the abode of Mrs. +Gran; who, divining their poverty (in spite of their endeavours to +conceal it from her), by a thousand delicate arts smoothed their +rough way, and alleviated the sharpness of their first distress." + +Here Jemmy took one of my hands in one of his, and began a marking +the turns of his story by making me give a beat from time to time +upon his other hand. + +"After a while, they left the house of Mrs. Gran, and pursued their +fortunes through a variety of successes and failures elsewhere. But +in all reverses, whether for good or evil, the words of Mr. Edson to +the fair young partner of his life were, 'Unchanging Love and Truth +will carry us through all!'" + +My hand trembled in the dear boy's, those words were so wofully +unlike the fact. + +"Unchanging Love and Truth" says Jemmy over again, as if he had a +proud kind of a noble pleasure in it, "will carry us through all! +Those were his words. And so they fought their way, poor but +gallant and happy, until Mrs. Edson gave birth to a child." + +"A daughter," I says. + +"No," says Jemmy, "a son. And the father was so proud of it that he +could hardly bear it out of his sight. But a dark cloud overspread +the scene. Mrs. Edson sickened, drooped, and died." + +"Ah! Sickened, drooped, and died!" I says. + +"And so Mr. Edson's only comfort, only hope on earth, and only +stimulus to action, was his darling boy. As the child grew older, +he grew so like his mother that he was her living picture. It used +to make him wonder why his father cried when he kissed him. But +unhappily he was like his mother in constitution as well as in face, +and lo, died too before he had grown out of childhood. Then Mr. +Edson, who had good abilities, in his forlornness and despair, threw +them all to the winds. He became apathetic, reckless, lost. Little +by little he sank down, down, down, down, until at last he almost +lived (I think) by gaming. And so sickness overtook him in the town +of Sens in France, and he lay down to die. But now that he laid him +down when all was done, and looked back upon the green Past beyond +the time when he had covered it with ashes, he thought gratefully of +the good Mrs. Gran long lost sight of, who had been so kind to him +and his young wife in the early days of their marriage, and he left +the little that he had as a last Legacy to her. And she, being +brought to see him, at first no more knew him than she would know +from seeing the ruin of a Greek or Roman Temple, what it used to be +before it fell; but at length she remembered him. And then he told +her, with tears, of his regret for the misspent part of his life, +and besought her to think as mildly of it as she could, because it +was the poor fallen Angel of his unchanging Love and Constancy after +all. And because she had her grandson with her, and he fancied that +his own boy, if he had lived, might have grown to be something like +him, he asked her to let him touch his forehead with his cheek and +say certain parting words." + +Jemmy's voice sank low when it got to that, and tears filled my +eyes, and filled the Major's. + +"You little Conjurer" I says, "how did you ever make it all out? Go +in and write it every word down, for it's a wonder." + +Which Jemmy did, and I have repeated it to you my dear from his +writing. + +Then the Major took my hand and kissed it, and said, "Dearest madam +all has prospered with us." + +"Ah Major" I says drying my eyes, "we needn't have been afraid. We +might have known it. Treachery don't come natural to beaming youth; +but trust and pity, love and constancy,--they do, thank God!" + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy by Dickens + diff --git a/old/mlrlg10.zip b/old/mlrlg10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..21e5a21 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mlrlg10.zip |