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+<title>Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy</title>
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+<h2>
+<a href="#startoftext">Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, by Charles Dickens</a>
+</h2>
+<pre>
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy, by Charles Dickens
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Mrs. Lirriper's Legacy
+
+
+Author: Charles Dickens
+
+Release Date: April 3, 2005 [eBook #1421]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY***
+</pre>
+<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p>
+<p>Transcribed from the 1894 Chapman and Hall &ldquo;Christmas Stories&rdquo;
+edition by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk</p>
+<h1>MRS. LIRRIPER&rsquo;S LEGACY</h1>
+<h2>CHAPTER I&mdash;MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW SHE WENT ON, AND WENT
+OVER</h2>
+<p>Ah!&nbsp; It&rsquo;s pleasant to drop into my own easy-chair my dear
+though a little palpitating what with trotting up-stairs and what with
+trotting down, and why kitchen stairs should all be corner stairs is
+for the builders to justify though I do not think they fully understand
+their trade and never did, else why the sameness and why not more conveniences
+and fewer draughts and likewise making a practice of laying the plaster
+on too thick I am well convinced which holds the damp, and as to chimney-pots
+putting them on by guess-work like hats at a party and no more knowing
+what their effect will be upon the smoke bless you than I do if so much,
+except that it will mostly be either to send it down your throat in
+a straight form or give it a twist before it goes there.&nbsp; And what
+I says speaking as I find of those new metal chimneys all manner of
+shapes (there&rsquo;s a row of &rsquo;em at Miss Wozenham&rsquo;s lodging-house
+lower down on the other side of the way) is that they only work your
+smoke into artificial patterns for you before you swallow it and that
+I&rsquo;d quite as soon swallow mine plain, the flavour being the same,
+not to mention the conceit of putting up signs on the top of your house
+to show the forms in which you take your smoke into your inside.</p>
+<p>Being here before your eyes my dear in my own easy-chair in my own
+quiet room in my own Lodging-House Number Eighty-one Norfolk Street
+Strand London situated midway between the City and St. James&rsquo;s&mdash;if
+anything is where it used to be with these hotels calling themselves
+Limited but called unlimited by Major Jackman rising up everywhere and
+rising up into flagstaffs where they can&rsquo;t go any higher, but
+my mind of those monsters is give me a landlord&rsquo;s or landlady&rsquo;s
+wholesome face when I come off a journey and not a brass plate with
+an electrified number clicking out of it which it&rsquo;s not in nature
+can be glad to see me and to which I don&rsquo;t want to be hoisted
+like molasses at the Docks and left there telegraphing for help with
+the most ingenious instruments but quite in vain&mdash;being here my
+dear I have no call to mention that I am still in the Lodgings as a
+business hoping to die in the same and if agreeable to the clergy partly
+read over at Saint Clement&rsquo;s Danes and concluded in Hatfield churchyard
+when lying once again by my poor Lirriper ashes to ashes and dust to
+dust.</p>
+<p>Neither should I tell you any news my dear in telling you that the
+Major is still a fixture in the Parlours quite as much so as the roof
+of the house, and that Jemmy is of boys the best and brightest and has
+ever had kept from him the cruel story of his poor pretty young mother
+Mrs. Edson being deserted in the second floor and dying in my arms,
+fully believing that I am his born Gran and him an orphan, though what
+with engineering since he took a taste for it and him and the Major
+making Locomotives out of parasols broken iron pots and cotton-reels
+and them absolutely a getting off the line and falling over the table
+and injuring the passengers almost equal to the originals it really
+is quite wonderful.&nbsp; And when I says to the Major, &ldquo;Major
+can&rsquo;t you by <i>any</i> means give us a communication with the
+guard?&rdquo; the Major says quite huffy, &ldquo;No madam it&rsquo;s
+not to be done,&rdquo; and when I says &ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; the Major
+says, &ldquo;That is between us who are in the Railway Interest madam
+and our friend the Right Honourable Vice-President of the Board of Trade&rdquo;
+and if you&rsquo;ll believe me my dear the Major wrote to Jemmy at school
+to consult him on the answer I should have before I could get even that
+amount of unsatisfactoriness out of the man, the reason being that when
+we first began with the little model and the working signals beautiful
+and perfect (being in general as wrong as the real) and when I says
+laughing &ldquo;What appointment am I to hold in this undertaking gentlemen?&rdquo;
+Jemmy hugs me round the neck and tells me dancing, &ldquo;You shall
+be the Public Gran&rdquo; and consequently they put upon me just as
+much as ever they like and I sit a growling in my easy-chair.</p>
+<p>My dear whether it is that a grown man as clever as the Major cannot
+give half his heart and mind to anything&mdash;even a plaything&mdash;but
+must get into right down earnest with it, whether it is so or whether
+it is not so I do not undertake to say, but Jemmy is far out-done by
+the serious and believing ways of the Major in the management of the
+United Grand Junction Lirriper and Jackman Great Norfolk Parlour Line,
+&ldquo;For&rdquo; says my Jemmy with the sparkling eyes when it was
+christened, &ldquo;we must have a whole mouthful of name Gran or our
+dear old Public&rdquo; and there the young rogue kissed me, &ldquo;won&rsquo;t
+stump up.&rdquo;&nbsp; So the Public took the shares&mdash;ten at ninepence,
+and immediately when that was spent twelve Preference at one and sixpence&mdash;and
+they were all signed by Jemmy and countersigned by the Major, and between
+ourselves much better worth the money than some shares I have paid for
+in my time.&nbsp; In the same holidays the line was made and worked
+and opened and ran excursions and had collisions and burst its boilers
+and all sorts of accidents and offences all most regular correct and
+pretty.&nbsp; The sense of responsibility entertained by the Major as
+a military style of station-master my dear starting the down train behind
+time and ringing one of those little bells that you buy with the little
+coal-scuttles off the tray round the man&rsquo;s neck in the street
+did him honour, but noticing the Major of a night when he is writing
+out his monthly report to Jemmy at school of the state of the Rolling
+Stock and the Permanent Way and all the rest of it (the whole kept upon
+the Major&rsquo;s sideboard and dusted with his own hands every morning
+before varnishing his boots) I notice him as full of thought and care
+as full can be and frowning in a fearful manner, but indeed the Major
+does nothing by halves as witness his great delight in going out surveying
+with Jemmy when he has Jemmy to go with, carrying a chain and a measuring-tape
+and driving I don&rsquo;t know what improvements right through Westminster
+Abbey and fully believed in the streets to be knocking everything upside
+down by Act of Parliament.&nbsp; As please Heaven will come to pass
+when Jemmy takes to that as a profession!</p>
+<p>Mentioning my poor Lirriper brings into my head his own youngest
+brother the Doctor though Doctor of what I am sure it would be hard
+to say unless Liquor, for neither Physic nor Music nor yet Law does
+Joshua Lirriper know a morsel of except continually being summoned to
+the County Court and having orders made upon him which he runs away
+from, and once was taken in the passage of this very house with an umbrella
+up and the Major&rsquo;s hat on, giving his name with the door-mat round
+him as Sir Johnson Jones, K.C.B. in spectacles residing at the Horse
+Guards.&nbsp; On which occasion he had got into the house not a minute
+before, through the girl letting him on the mat when he sent in a piece
+of paper twisted more like one of those spills for lighting candles
+than a note, offering me the choice between thirty shillings in hand
+and his brains on the premises marked immediate and waiting for an answer.&nbsp;
+My dear it gave me such a dreadful turn to think of the brains of my
+poor dear Lirriper&rsquo;s own flesh and blood flying about the new
+oilcloth however unworthy to be so assisted, that I went out of my room
+here to ask him what he would take once for all not to do it for life
+when I found him in the custody of two gentlemen that I should have
+judged to be in the feather-bed trade if they had not announced the
+law, so fluffy were their personal appearance.&nbsp; &ldquo;Bring your
+chains, sir,&rdquo; says Joshua to the littlest of the two in the biggest
+hat, &ldquo;rivet on my fetters!&rdquo;&nbsp; Imagine my feelings when
+I pictered him clanking up Norfolk Street in irons and Miss Wozenham
+looking out of window!&nbsp; &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; I says all of
+a tremble and ready to drop &ldquo;please to bring him into Major Jackman&rsquo;s
+apartments.&rdquo;&nbsp; So they brought him into the Parlours, and
+when the Major spies his own curly-brimmed hat on him which Joshua Lirriper
+had whipped off its peg in the passage for a military disguise he goes
+into such a tearing passion that he tips it off his head with his hand
+and kicks it up to the ceiling with his foot where it grazed long afterwards.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Major&rdquo; I says &ldquo;be cool and advise me what to do with
+Joshua my dead and gone Lirriper&rsquo;s own youngest brother.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Madam&rdquo; says the Major &ldquo;my advice is that you board
+and lodge him in a Powder Mill, with a handsome gratuity to the proprietor
+when exploded.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Major&rdquo; I says &ldquo;as a Christian
+you cannot mean your words.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Madam&rdquo; says the
+Major &ldquo;by the Lord I do!&rdquo; and indeed the Major besides being
+with all his merits a very passionate man for his size had a bad opinion
+of Joshua on account of former troubles even unattended by liberties
+taken with his apparel.&nbsp; When Joshua Lirriper hears this conversation
+betwixt us he turns upon the littlest one with the biggest hat and says
+&ldquo;Come sir!&nbsp; Remove me to my vile dungeon.&nbsp; Where is
+my mouldy straw?&rdquo;&nbsp; My dear at the picter of him rising in
+my mind dressed almost entirely in padlocks like Baron Trenck in Jemmy&rsquo;s
+book I was so overcome that I burst into tears and I says to the Major,
+&ldquo;Major take my keys and settle with these gentlemen or I shall
+never know a happy minute more,&rdquo; which was done several times
+both before and since, but still I must remember that Joshua Lirriper
+has his good feelings and shows them in being always so troubled in
+his mind when he cannot wear mourning for his brother.&nbsp; Many a
+long year have I left off my widow&rsquo;s mourning not being wishful
+to intrude, but the tender point in Joshua that I cannot help a little
+yielding to is when he writes &ldquo;One single sovereign would enable
+me to wear a decent suit of mourning for my much-loved brother.&nbsp;
+I vowed at the time of his lamented death that I would ever wear sables
+in memory of him but Alas how short-sighted is man, How keep that vow
+when penniless!&rdquo;&nbsp; It says a good deal for the strength of
+his feelings that he couldn&rsquo;t have been seven year old when my
+poor Lirriper died and to have kept to it ever since is highly creditable.&nbsp;
+But we know there&rsquo;s good in all of us,&mdash;if we only knew where
+it was in some of us,&mdash;and though it was far from delicate in Joshua
+to work upon the dear child&rsquo;s feelings when first sent to school
+and write down into Lincolnshire for his pocket-money by return of post
+and got it, still he is my poor Lirriper&rsquo;s own youngest brother
+and mightn&rsquo;t have meant not paying his bill at the Salisbury Arms
+when his affection took him down to stay a fortnight at Hatfield churchyard
+and might have meant to keep sober but for bad company.&nbsp; Consequently
+if the Major <i>had</i> played on him with the garden-engine which he
+got privately into his room without my knowing of it, I think that much
+as I should have regretted it there would have been words betwixt the
+Major and me.&nbsp; Therefore my dear though he played on Mr. Buffle
+by mistake being hot in his head, and though it might have been misrepresented
+down at Wozenham&rsquo;s into not being ready for Mr. Buffle in other
+respects he being the Assessed Taxes, still I do not so much regret
+it as perhaps I ought.&nbsp; And whether Joshua Lirriper will yet do
+well in life I cannot say, but I did hear of his coming, out at a Private
+Theatre in the character of a Bandit without receiving any offers afterwards
+from the regular managers.</p>
+<p>Mentioning Mr. Baffle gives an instance of there being good in persons
+where good is not expected, for it cannot be denied that Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s
+manners when engaged in his business were not agreeable.&nbsp; To collect
+is one thing, and to look about as if suspicious of the goods being
+gradually removing in the dead of the night by a back door is another,
+over taxing you have no control but suspecting is voluntary.&nbsp; Allowances
+too must ever be made for a gentleman of the Major&rsquo;s warmth not
+relishing being spoke to with a pen in the mouth, and while I do not
+know that it is more irritable to my own feelings to have a low-crowned
+hat with a broad brim kept on in doors than any other hat still I can
+appreciate the Major&rsquo;s, besides which without bearing malice or
+vengeance the Major is a man that scores up arrears as his habit always
+was with Joshua Lirriper.&nbsp; So at last my dear the Major lay in
+wait for Mr. Buffle, and it worrited me a good deal.&nbsp; Mr. Buffle
+gives his rap of two sharp knocks one day and the Major bounces to the
+door.&nbsp; &ldquo;Collector has called for two quarters&rsquo; Assessed
+Taxes&rdquo; says Mr. Buffle.&nbsp; &ldquo;They are ready for him&rdquo;
+says the Major and brings him in here.&nbsp; But on the way Mr. Buffle
+looks about him in his usual suspicious manner and the Major fires and
+asks him &ldquo;Do you see a Ghost sir?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;No sir&rdquo;
+says Mr. Buffle.&nbsp; &ldquo;Because I have before noticed you&rdquo;
+says the Major &ldquo;apparently looking for a spectre very hard beneath
+the roof of my respected friend.&nbsp; When you find that supernatural
+agent, be so good as point him out sir.&rdquo;&nbsp; Mr. Buffle stares
+at the Major and then nods at me.&nbsp; &ldquo;Mrs. Lirriper sir&rdquo;
+says the Major going off into a perfect steam and introducing me with
+his hand.&nbsp; &ldquo;Pleasure of knowing her&rdquo; says Mr. Buffle.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;A&mdash;hum!&mdash;Jemmy Jackman sir!&rdquo; says the Major introducing
+himself.&nbsp; &ldquo;Honour of knowing you by sight&rdquo; says Mr.
+Buffle.&nbsp; &ldquo;Jemmy Jackman sir&rdquo; says the Major wagging
+his head sideways in a sort of obstinate fury &ldquo;presents to you
+his esteemed friend that lady Mrs. Emma Lirriper of Eighty-one Norfolk
+Street Strand London in the County of Middlesex in the United Kingdom
+of Great Britain and Ireland.&nbsp; Upon which occasion sir,&rdquo;
+says the Major, &ldquo;Jemmy Jackman takes your hat off.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+Mr. Buffle looks at his hat where the Major drops it on the floor, and
+he picks it up and puts it on again.&nbsp; &ldquo;Sir&rdquo; says the
+Major very red and looking him full in the face &ldquo;there are two
+quarters of the Gallantry Taxes due and the Collector has called.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+Upon which if you can believe my words my dear the Major drops Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s
+hat off again.&nbsp; &ldquo;This&mdash;&rdquo; Mr. Buffle begins very
+angry with his pen in his mouth, when the Major steaming more and more
+says &ldquo;Take your bit out sir!&nbsp; Or by the whole infernal system
+of Taxation of this country and every individual figure in the National
+Debt, I&rsquo;ll get upon your back and ride you like a horse!&rdquo;
+which it&rsquo;s my belief he would have done and even actually jerking
+his neat little legs ready for a spring as it was.&nbsp; &ldquo;This,&rdquo;
+says Mr. Buffle without his pen &ldquo;is an assault and I&rsquo;ll
+have the law of you.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Sir&rdquo; replies the Major
+&ldquo;if you are a man of honour, your Collector of whatever may be
+due on the Honourable Assessment by applying to Major Jackman at the
+Parlours Mrs. Lirriper&rsquo;s Lodgings, may obtain what he wants in
+full at any moment.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>When the Major glared at Mr. Buffle with those meaning words my dear
+I literally gasped for a teaspoonful of salvolatile in a wine-glass
+of water, and I says &ldquo;Pray let it go no farther gentlemen I beg
+and beseech of you!&rdquo;&nbsp; But the Major could be got to do nothing
+else but snort long after Mr. Buffle was gone, and the effect it had
+upon my whole mass of blood when on the next day of Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s
+rounds the Major spruced himself up and went humming a tune up and down
+the street with one eye almost obliterated by his hat there are not
+expressions in Johnson&rsquo;s Dictionary to state.&nbsp; But I safely
+put the street door on the jar and got behind the Major&rsquo;s blinds
+with my shawl on and my mind made up the moment I saw danger to rush
+out screeching till my voice failed me and catch the Major round the
+neck till my strength went and have all parties bound.&nbsp; I had not
+been behind the blinds a quarter of an hour when I saw Mr. Buffle approaching
+with his Collecting-books in his hand.&nbsp; The Major likewise saw
+him approaching and hummed louder and himself approached.&nbsp; They
+met before the Airy railings.&nbsp; The Major takes off his hat at arm&rsquo;s
+length and says &ldquo;Mr. Buffle I believe?&rdquo;&nbsp; Mr. Buffle
+takes off <i>his</i> hat at arm&rsquo;s length and says &ldquo;That
+is my name sir.&rdquo;&nbsp; Says the Major &ldquo;Have you any commands
+for me, Mr. Buffle?&rdquo;&nbsp; Says Mr. Buffle &ldquo;Not any sir.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+Then my dear both of &rsquo;em bowed very low and haughty and parted,
+and whenever Mr. Buffle made his rounds in future him and the Major
+always met and bowed before the Airy railings, putting me much in mind
+of Hamlet and the other gentleman in mourning before killing one another,
+though I could have wished the other gentleman had done it fairer and
+even if less polite no poison.</p>
+<p>Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s family were not liked in this neighbourhood, for
+when you are a householder my dear you&rsquo;ll find it does not come
+by nature to like the Assessed, and it was considered besides that a
+one-horse pheayton ought not to have elevated Mrs. Buffle to that height
+especially when purloined from the Taxes which I myself did consider
+uncharitable.&nbsp; But they were <i>not</i> liked and there was that
+domestic unhappiness in the family in consequence of their both being
+very hard with Miss Buffle and one another on account of Miss Buffle&rsquo;s
+favouring Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s articled young gentleman, that it <i>was</i>
+whispered that Miss Buffle would go either into a consumption or a convent
+she being so very thin and off her appetite and two close-shaved gentlemen
+with white bands round their necks peeping round the corner whenever
+she went out in waistcoats resembling black pinafores.&nbsp; So things
+stood towards Mr. Buffle when one night I was woke by a frightful noise
+and a smell of burning, and going to my bedroom window saw the whole
+street in a glow.&nbsp; Fortunately we had two sets empty just then
+and before I could hurry on some clothes I heard the Major hammering
+at the attics&rsquo; doors and calling out &ldquo;Dress yourselves!&mdash;Fire!&nbsp;
+Don&rsquo;t be frightened!&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; Collect your presence of
+mind!&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; All right&mdash;Fire!&rdquo; most tremenjously.&nbsp;
+As I opened my bedroom door the Major came tumbling in over himself
+and me, and caught me in his arms.&nbsp; &ldquo;Major&rdquo; I says
+breathless &ldquo;where is it?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know
+dearest madam&rdquo; says the Major&mdash;&ldquo;Fire!&nbsp; Jemmy Jackman
+will defend you to the last drop of his blood&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; If the
+dear boy was at home what a treat this would be for him&mdash;Fire!&rdquo;
+and altogether very collected and bold except that he couldn&rsquo;t
+say a single sentence without shaking me to the very centre with roaring
+Fire.&nbsp; We ran down to the drawing-room and put our heads out of
+window, and the Major calls to an unfeeling young monkey, scampering
+by be joyful and ready to split &ldquo;Where is it?&mdash;Fire!&rdquo;&nbsp;
+The monkey answers without stopping &ldquo;O here&rsquo;s a lark!&nbsp;
+Old Buffle&rsquo;s been setting his house alight to prevent its being
+found out that he boned the Taxes.&nbsp; Hurrah!&nbsp; Fire!&rdquo;&nbsp;
+And then the sparks came flying up and the smoke came pouring down and
+the crackling of flames and spatting of water and banging of engines
+and hacking of axes and breaking of glass and knocking at doors and
+the shouting and crying and hurrying and the heat and altogether gave
+me a dreadful palpitation.&nbsp; &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t be frightened dearest
+madam,&rdquo; says the Major, &ldquo;&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; There&rsquo;s
+nothing to be alarmed at&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t open the street
+door till I come back&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll go and see if I can
+be of any service&mdash;Fire!&nbsp; You&rsquo;re quite composed and
+comfortable ain&rsquo;t you?&mdash;Fire, Fire, Fire!&rdquo;&nbsp; It
+was in vain for me to hold the man and tell him he&rsquo;d be galloped
+to death by the engines&mdash;pumped to death by his over-exertions&mdash;wet-feeted
+to death by the slop and mess&mdash;flattened to death when the roofs
+fell in&mdash;his spirit was up and he went scampering off after the
+young monkey with all the breath he had and none to spare, and me and
+the girls huddled together at the parlour windows looking at the dreadful
+flames above the houses over the way, Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s being round
+the corner.&nbsp; Presently what should we see but some people running
+down the street straight to our door, and then the Major directing operations
+in the busiest way, and then some more people and then&mdash;carried
+in a chair similar to Guy Fawkes&mdash;Mr. Buffle in a blanket!</p>
+<p>My dear the Major has Mr. Buffle brought up our steps and whisked
+into the parlour and carted out on the sofy, and then he and all the
+rest of them without so much as a word burst away again full speed leaving
+the impression of a vision except for Mr. Buffle awful in his blanket
+with his eyes a rolling.&nbsp; In a twinkling they all burst back again
+with Mrs. Buffle in another blanket, which whisked in and carted out
+on the sofy they all burst off again and all burst back again with Miss
+Buffle in another blanket, which again whisked in and carted out they
+all burst off again and all burst back again with Mr. Buffle&rsquo;s
+articled young gentleman in another blanket&mdash;him a holding round
+the necks of two men carrying him by the legs, similar to the picter
+of the disgraceful creetur who has lost the fight (but where the chair
+I do not know) and his hair having the appearance of newly played upon.&nbsp;
+When all four of a row, the Major rubs his hands and whispers me with
+what little hoarseness he can get together, &ldquo;If our dear remarkable
+boy was only at home what a delightful treat this would be for him!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>My dear we made them some hot tea and toast and some hot brandy-and-water
+with a little comfortable nutmeg in it, and at first they were scared
+and low in their spirits but being fully insured got sociable.&nbsp;
+And the first use Mr. Buffle made of his tongue was to call the Major
+his Preserver and his best of friends and to say &ldquo;My for ever
+dearest sir let me make you known to Mrs. Buffle&rdquo; which also addressed
+him as her Preserver and her best of friends and was fully as cordial
+as the blanket would admit of.&nbsp; Also Miss Buffle.&nbsp; The articled
+young gentleman&rsquo;s head was a little light and he sat a moaning
+&ldquo;Robina is reduced to cinders, Robina is reduced to cinders!&rdquo;&nbsp;
+Which went more to the heart on account of his having got wrapped in
+his blanket as if he was looking out of a violinceller case, until Mr.
+Buffle says &ldquo;Robina speak to him!&rdquo;&nbsp; Miss Buffle says
+&ldquo;Dear George!&rdquo; and but for the Major&rsquo;s pouring down
+brandy-and-water on the instant which caused a catching in his throat
+owing to the nutmeg and a violent fit of coughing it might have proved
+too much for his strength.&nbsp; When the articled young gentleman got
+the better of it Mr. Buffle leaned up against Mrs. Buffle being two
+bundles, a little while in confidence, and then says with tears in his
+eyes which the Major noticing wiped, &ldquo;We have not been an united
+family, let us after this danger become so, take her George.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+The young gentleman could not put his arm out far to do it, but his
+spoken expressions were very beautiful though of a wandering class.&nbsp;
+And I do not know that I ever had a much pleasanter meal than the breakfast
+we took together after we had all dozed, when Miss Buffle made tea very
+sweetly in quite the Roman style as depicted formerly at Covent Garden
+Theatre and when the whole family was most agreeable, as they have ever
+proved since that night when the Major stood at the foot of the Fire-Escape
+and claimed them as they came down&mdash;the young gentleman head-foremost,
+which accounts.&nbsp; And though I do not say that we should be less
+liable to think ill of one another if strictly limited to blankets,
+still I do say that we might most of us come to a better understanding
+if we kept one another less at a distance.</p>
+<p>Why there&rsquo;s Wozenham&rsquo;s lower down on the other side of
+the street.&nbsp; I had a feeling of much soreness several years respecting
+what I must still ever call Miss Wozenham&rsquo;s systematic underbidding
+and the likeness of the house in Bradshaw having far too many windows
+and a most umbrageous and outrageous Oak which never yet was seen in
+Norfolk Street nor yet a carriage and four at Wozenham&rsquo;s door,
+which it would have been far more to Bradshaw&rsquo;s credit to have
+drawn a cab.&nbsp; This frame of mind continued bitter down to the very
+afternoon in January last when one of my girls, Sally Rairyganoo which
+I still suspect of Irish extraction though family represented Cambridge,
+else why abscond with a bricklayer of the Limerick persuasion and be
+married in pattens not waiting till his black eye was decently got round
+with all the company fourteen in number and one horse fighting outside
+on the roof of the vehicle,&mdash;I repeat my dear my ill-regulated
+state of mind towards Miss Wozenham continued down to the very afternoon
+of January last past when Sally Rairyganoo came banging (I can use no
+milder expression) into my room with a jump which may be Cambridge and
+may not, and said &ldquo;Hurroo Missis!&nbsp; Miss Wozenham&rsquo;s
+sold up!&rdquo;&nbsp; My dear when I had it thrown in my face and conscience
+that the girl Sally had reason to think I could be glad of the ruin
+of a fellow-creeter, I burst into tears and dropped back in my chair
+and I says &ldquo;I am ashamed of myself!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Well!&nbsp; I tried to settle to my tea but I could not do it what
+with thinking of Miss Wozenham and her distresses.&nbsp; It was a wretched
+night and I went up to a front window and looked over at Wozenham&rsquo;s
+and as well as I could make it out down the street in the fog it was
+the dismallest of the dismal and not a light to be seen.&nbsp; So at
+last I save to myself &ldquo;This will not do,&rdquo; and I puts on
+my oldest bonnet and shawl not wishing Miss Wozenham to be reminded
+of my best at such a time, and lo and behold you I goes over to Wozenham&rsquo;s
+and knocks.&nbsp; &ldquo;Miss Wozenham at home?&rdquo; I says turning
+my head when I heard the door go.&nbsp; And then I saw it was Miss Wozenham
+herself who had opened it and sadly worn she was poor thing and her
+eyes all swelled and swelled with crying.&nbsp; &ldquo;Miss Wozenham&rdquo;
+I says &ldquo;it is several years since there was a little unpleasantness
+betwixt us on the subject of my grandson&rsquo;s cap being down your
+Airy.&nbsp; I have overlooked it and I hope you have done the same.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Yes Mrs. Lirriper&rdquo; she says in a surprise, &ldquo;I have.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Then my dear&rdquo; I says &ldquo;I should be glad to come in
+and speak a word to you.&rdquo;&nbsp; Upon my calling her my dear Miss
+Wozenham breaks out a crying most pitiful, and a not unfeeling elderly
+person that might have been better shaved in a nightcap with a hat over
+it offering a polite apology for the mumps having worked themselves
+into his constitution, and also for sending home to his wife on the
+bellows which was in his hand as a writing-desk, looks out of the back
+parlour and says &ldquo;The lady wants a word of comfort&rdquo; and
+goes in again.&nbsp; So I was able to say quite natural &ldquo;Wants
+a word of comfort does she sir?&nbsp; Then please the pigs she shall
+have it!&rdquo;&nbsp; And Miss Wozenham and me we go into the front
+room with a wretched light that seemed to have been crying too and was
+sputtering out, and I says &ldquo;Now my dear, tell me all,&rdquo; and
+she wrings her hands and says &ldquo;O Mrs. Lirriper that man is in
+possession here, and I have not a friend in the world who is able to
+help me with a shilling.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>It doesn&rsquo;t signify a bit what a talkative old body like me
+said to Miss Wozenham when she said that, and so I&rsquo;ll tell you
+instead my dear that I&rsquo;d have given thirty shillings to have taken
+her over to tea, only I durstn&rsquo;t on account of the Major.&nbsp;
+Not you see but what I knew I could draw the Major out like thread and
+wind him round my finger on most subjects and perhaps even on that if
+I was to set myself to it, but him and me had so often belied Miss Wozenham
+to one another that I was shamefaced, and I knew she had offended his
+pride and never mine, and likewise I felt timid that that Rairyganoo
+girl might make things awkward.&nbsp; So I says &ldquo;My dear if you
+could give me a cup of tea to clear my muddle of a head I should better
+understand your affairs.&rdquo;&nbsp; And we had the tea and the affairs
+too and after all it was but forty pound, and&mdash;There! she&rsquo;s
+as industrious and straight a creeter as ever lived and has paid back
+half of it already, and where&rsquo;s the use of saying more, particularly
+when it ain&rsquo;t the point?&nbsp; For the point is that when she
+was a kissing my hands and holding them in hers and kissing them again
+and blessing blessing blessing, I cheered up at last and I says &ldquo;Why
+what a waddling old goose I have been my dear to take you for something
+so very different!&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Ah but I too&rdquo; says she
+&ldquo;how have <i>I</i> mistaken <i>you</i>!&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Come
+for goodness&rsquo; sake tell me&rdquo; I says &ldquo;what you thought
+of me?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;O&rdquo; says she &ldquo;I thought you had
+no feeling for such a hard hand-to-mouth life as mine, and were rolling
+in affluence.&rdquo;&nbsp; I says shaking my sides (and very glad to
+do it for I had been a choking quite long enough) &ldquo;Only look at
+my figure my dear and give me your opinion whether if I was in affluence
+I should be likely to roll in it?&rdquo;&nbsp; That did it?&nbsp; We
+got as merry as grigs (whatever <i>they</i> are, if you happen to know
+my dear&mdash;<i>I</i> don&rsquo;t) and I went home to my blessed home
+as happy and as thankful as could be.&nbsp; But before I make an end
+of it, think even of my having misunderstood the Major!&nbsp; Yes!&nbsp;
+For next forenoon the Major came into my little room with his brushed
+hat in his hand and he begins &ldquo;My dearest madam&mdash;&rdquo;
+and then put his face in his hat as if he had just come into church.&nbsp;
+As I sat all in a maze he came out of his hat and began again.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;My esteemed and beloved friend&mdash;&rdquo; and then went into
+his hat again.&nbsp; &ldquo;Major,&rdquo; I cries out frightened &ldquo;has
+anything happened to our darling boy?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;No, no, no&rdquo;
+says the Major &ldquo;but Miss Wozenham has been here this morning to
+make her excuses to me, and by the Lord I can&rsquo;t get over what
+she told me.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Hoity toity, Major,&rdquo; I says &ldquo;you
+don&rsquo;t know yet that I was afraid of you last night and didn&rsquo;t
+think half as well of you as I ought!&nbsp; So come out of church Major
+and forgive me like a dear old friend and I&rsquo;ll never do so any
+more.&rdquo;&nbsp; And I leave you to judge my dear whether I ever did
+or will.&nbsp; And how affecting to think of Miss Wozenham out of her
+small income and her losses doing so much for her poor old father, and
+keeping a brother that had had the misfortune to soften his brain against
+the hard mathematics as neat as a new pin in the three back represented
+to lodgers as a lumber-room and consuming a whole shoulder of mutton
+whenever provided!</p>
+<p>And now my dear I really am a going to tell you about my Legacy if
+you&rsquo;re inclined to favour me with your attention, and I did fully
+intend to have come straight to it only one thing does so bring up another.&nbsp;
+It was the month of June and the day before Midsummer Day when my girl
+Winifred Madgers&mdash;she was what is termed a Plymouth Sister, and
+the Plymouth Brother that made away with her was quite right, for a
+tidier young woman for a wife never came into a house and afterwards
+called with the beautifullest Plymouth Twins&mdash;it was the day before
+Midsummer Day when Winifred Madgers comes and says to me &ldquo;A gentleman
+from the Consul&rsquo;s wishes particular to speak to Mrs. Lirriper.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+If you&rsquo;ll believe me my dear the Consols at the bank where I have
+a little matter for Jemmy got into my head, and I says &ldquo;Good gracious
+I hope he ain&rsquo;t had any dreadful fall!&rdquo;&nbsp; Says Winifred
+&ldquo;He don&rsquo;t look as if he had ma&rsquo;am.&rdquo;&nbsp; And
+I says &ldquo;Show him in.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The gentleman came in dark and with his hair cropped what I should
+consider too close, and he says very polite &ldquo;Madame Lirrwiper!&rdquo;&nbsp;
+I says, &ldquo;Yes sir.&nbsp; Take a chair.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;I come,&rdquo;
+says he &ldquo;frrwom the Frrwench Consul&rsquo;s.&rdquo;&nbsp; So I
+saw at once that it wasn&rsquo;t the Bank of England.&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;We
+have rrweceived,&rdquo; says the gentleman turning his r&rsquo;s very
+curious and skilful, &ldquo;frrwom the Mairrwie at Sens, a communication
+which I will have the honour to rrwead.&nbsp; Madame Lirrwiper understands
+Frrwench?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;O dear no sir!&rdquo; says I.&nbsp; &ldquo;Madame
+Lirriper don&rsquo;t understand anything of the sort.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;It
+matters not,&rdquo; says the gentleman, &ldquo;I will trrwanslate.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>With that my dear the gentleman after reading something about a Department
+and a Marie (which Lord forgive me I supposed till the Major came home
+was Mary, and never was I more puzzled than to think how that young
+woman came to have so much to do with it) translated a lot with the
+most obliging pains, and it came to this:&mdash;That in the town of
+Sons in France an unknown Englishman lay a dying.&nbsp; That he was
+speechless and without motion.&nbsp; That in his lodging there was a
+gold watch and a purse containing such and such money and a trunk containing
+such and such clothes, but no passport and no papers, except that on
+his table was a pack of cards and that he had written in pencil on the
+back of the ace of hearts: &ldquo;To the authorities.&nbsp; When I am
+dead, pray send what is left, as a last Legacy, to Mrs. Lirriper Eighty-one
+Norfolk Street Strand London.&rdquo;&nbsp; When the gentleman had explained
+all this, which seemed to be drawn up much more methodical than I should
+have given the French credit for, not at that time knowing the nation,
+he put the document into my hand.&nbsp; And much the wiser I was for
+that you may be sure, except that it had the look of being made out
+upon grocery paper and was stamped all over with eagles.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Does Madame Lirrwiper&rdquo; says the gentleman &ldquo;believe
+she rrwecognises her unfortunate compatrrwiot?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>You may imagine the flurry it put me into my dear to be talked to
+about my compatriots.</p>
+<p>I says &ldquo;Excuse me.&nbsp; Would you have the kindness sir to
+make your language as simple as you can?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;This Englishman unhappy, at the point of death.&nbsp; This
+compatrrwiot afflicted,&rdquo; says the gentleman.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Thank you sir&rdquo; I says &ldquo;I understand you now.&nbsp;
+No sir I have not the least idea who this can be.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Has Madame Lirrwiper no son, no nephew, no godson, no frrwiend,
+no acquaintance of any kind in Frrwance?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;To my certain knowledge&rdquo; says I &ldquo;no relation or
+friend, and to the best of my belief no acquaintance.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Pardon me.&nbsp; You take Locataires?&rdquo; says the gentleman.</p>
+<p>My dear fully believing he was offering me something with his obliging
+foreign manners,&mdash;snuff for anything I knew,&mdash;I gave a little
+bend of my head and I says if you&rsquo;ll credit it, &ldquo;No I thank
+you.&nbsp; I have not contracted the habit.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The gentleman looks perplexed and says &ldquo;Lodgers!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; says I laughing.&nbsp; &ldquo;Bless the man!&nbsp;
+Why yes to be sure!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;May it not be a former lodger?&rdquo; says the gentleman.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Some lodger that you pardoned some rrwent?&nbsp; You have pardoned
+lodgers some rrwent?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Hem!&nbsp; It has happened sir&rdquo; says I, &ldquo;but I
+assure you I can call to mind no gentleman of that description that
+this is at all likely to be.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>In short my dear, we could make nothing of it, and the gentleman
+noted down what I said and went away.&nbsp; But he left me the paper
+of which he had two with him, and when the Major came in I says to the
+Major as I put it in his hand &ldquo;Major here&rsquo;s Old Moore&rsquo;s
+Almanac with the hieroglyphic complete, for your opinion.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>It took the Major a little longer to read than I should have thought,
+judging from the copious flow with which he seemed to be gifted when
+attacking the organ-men, but at last he got through it, and stood a
+gazing at me in amazement.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Major&rdquo; I says &ldquo;you&rsquo;re paralysed.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Madam&rdquo; says the Major, &ldquo;Jemmy Jackman is doubled
+up.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Now it did so happen that the Major had been out to get a little
+information about railroads and steamboats, as our boy was coming home
+for his Midsummer holidays next day and we were going to take him somewhere
+for a treat and a change.&nbsp; So while the Major stood a gazing it
+came into my head to say to him &ldquo;Major I wish you&rsquo;d go and
+look at some of your books and maps, and see whereabouts this same town
+of Sens is in France.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The Major he roused himself and he went into the Parlours and he
+poked about a little, and he came back to me and he says, &ldquo;Sens
+my dearest madam is seventy-odd miles south of Paris.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>With what I may truly call a desperate effort &ldquo;Major,&rdquo;
+I says &ldquo;we&rsquo;ll go there with our blessed boy.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>If ever the Major was beside himself it was at the thoughts of that
+journey.&nbsp; All day long he was like the wild man of the woods after
+meeting with an advertisement in the papers telling him something to
+his advantage, and early next morning hours before Jemmy could possibly
+come home he was outside in the street ready to call out to him that
+we was all a going to France.&nbsp; Young Rosycheeks you may believe
+was as wild as the Major, and they did carry on to that degree that
+I says &ldquo;If you two children ain&rsquo;t more orderly I&rsquo;ll
+pack you both off to bed.&rdquo;&nbsp; And then they fell to cleaning
+up the Major&rsquo;s telescope to see France with, and went out and
+bought a leather bag with a snap to hang round Jemmy, and him to carry
+the money like a little Fortunatus with his purse.</p>
+<p>If I hadn&rsquo;t passed my word and raised their hopes, I doubt
+if I could have gone through with the undertaking but it was too late
+to go back now.&nbsp; So on the second day after Midsummer Day we went
+off by the morning mail.&nbsp; And when we came to the sea which I had
+never seen but once in my life and that when my poor Lirriper was courting
+me, the freshness of it and the deepness and the airiness and to think
+that it had been rolling ever since and that it was always a rolling
+and so few of us minding, made me feel quite serious.&nbsp; But I felt
+happy too and so did Jemmy and the Major and not much motion on the
+whole, though me with a swimming in the head and a sinking but able
+to take notice that the foreign insides appear to be constructed hollower
+than the English, leading to much more tremenjous noises when bad sailors.</p>
+<p>But my dear the blueness and the lightness and the coloured look
+of everything and the very sentry-boxes striped and the shining rattling
+drums and the little soldiers with their waists and tidy gaiters, when
+we got across to the Continent&mdash;it made me feel as if I don&rsquo;t
+know what&mdash;as if the atmosphere had been lifted off me.&nbsp; And
+as to lunch why bless you if I kept a man-cook and two kitchen-maids
+I couldn&rsquo;t got it done for twice the money, and no injured young
+woman a glaring at you and grudging you and acknowledging your patronage
+by wishing that your food might choke you, but so civil and so hot and
+attentive and every way comfortable except Jemmy pouring wine down his
+throat by tumblers-full and me expecting to see him drop under the table.</p>
+<p>And the way in which Jemmy spoke his French was a real charm.&nbsp;
+It was often wanted of him, for whenever anybody spoke a syllable to
+me I says &ldquo;Non-comprenny, you&rsquo;re very kind, but it&rsquo;s
+no use&mdash;Now Jemmy!&rdquo; and then Jemmy he fires away at &rsquo;em
+lovely, the only thing wanting in Jemmy&rsquo;s French being as it appeared
+to me that he hardly ever understood a word of what they said to him
+which made it scarcely of the use it might have been though in other
+respects a perfect Native, and regarding the Major&rsquo;s fluency I
+should have been of the opinion judging French by English that there
+might have been a greater choice of words in the language though still
+I must admit that if I hadn&rsquo;t known him when he asked a military
+gentleman in a gray cloak what o&rsquo;clock it was I should have took
+him for a Frenchman born.</p>
+<p>Before going on to look after my Legacy we were to make one regular
+day in Paris, and I leave you to judge my dear what a day <i>that</i>
+was with Jemmy and the Major and the telescope and me and the prowling
+young man at the inn door (but very civil too) that went along with
+us to show the sights.&nbsp; All along the railway to Paris Jemmy and
+the Major had been frightening me to death by stooping down on the platforms
+at stations to inspect the engines underneath their mechanical stomachs,
+and by creeping in and out I don&rsquo;t know where all, to find improvements
+for the United Grand Junction Parlour, but when we got out into the
+brilliant streets on a bright morning they gave up all their London
+improvements as a bad job and gave their minds to Paris.&nbsp; Says
+the prowling young man to me &ldquo;Will I speak Inglis No?&rdquo;&nbsp;
+So I says &ldquo;If you can young man I shall take it as a favour,&rdquo;
+but after half-an-hour of it when I fully believed the man had gone
+mad and me too I says &ldquo;Be so good as fall back on your French
+sir,&rdquo; knowing that then I shouldn&rsquo;t have the agonies of
+trying to understand him, which was a happy release.&nbsp; Not that
+I lost much more than the rest either, for I generally noticed that
+when he had described something very long indeed and I says to Jemmy
+&ldquo;What does he say Jemmy?&rdquo;&nbsp; Jemmy says looking with
+vengeance in his eye &ldquo;He is so jolly indistinct!&rdquo; and that
+when he had described it longer all over again and I says to Jemmy &ldquo;Well
+Jemmy what&rsquo;s it all about?&rdquo; Jemmy says &ldquo;He says the
+building was repaired in seventeen hundred and four, Gran.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Wherever that prowling young man formed his prowling habits I cannot
+be expected to know, but the way in which he went round the corner while
+we had our breakfasts and was there again when we swallowed the last
+crumb was most marvellous, and just the same at dinner and at night,
+prowling equally at the theatre and the inn gateway and the shop doors
+when we bought a trifle or two and everywhere else but troubled with
+a tendency to spit.&nbsp; And of Paris I can tell you no more my dear
+than that it&rsquo;s town and country both in one, and carved stone
+and long streets of high houses and gardens and fountains and statues
+and trees and gold, and immensely big soldiers and immensely little
+soldiers and the pleasantest nurses with the whitest caps a playing
+at skipping-rope with the bunchiest babies in the flattest caps, and
+clean table-cloths spread everywhere for dinner and people sitting out
+of doors smoking and sipping all day long and little plays being acted
+in the open air for little people and every shop a complete and elegant
+room, and everybody seeming to play at everything in this world.&nbsp;
+And as to the sparkling lights my dear after dark, glittering high up
+and low down and on before and on behind and all round, and the crowd
+of theatres and the crowd of people and the crowd of all sorts, it&rsquo;s
+pure enchantment.&nbsp; And pretty well the only thing that grated on
+me was that whether you pay your fare at the railway or whether you
+change your money at a money-dealer&rsquo;s or whether you take your
+ticket at the theatre, the lady or gentleman is caged up (I suppose
+by government) behind the strongest iron bars having more of a Zoological
+appearance than a free country.</p>
+<p>Well to be sure when I did after all get my precious bones to bed
+that night, and my Young Rogue came in to kiss me and asks &ldquo;What
+do you think of this lovely lovely Paris, Gran?&rdquo;&nbsp; I says
+&ldquo;Jemmy I feel as if it was beautiful fireworks being let off in
+my head.&rdquo;&nbsp; And very cool and refreshing the pleasant country
+was next day when we went on to look after my Legacy, and rested me
+much and did me a deal of good.</p>
+<p>So at length and at last my dear we come to Sens, a pretty little
+town with a great two-towered cathedral and the rooks flying in and
+out of the loopholes and another tower atop of one of the towers like
+a sort of a stone pulpit.&nbsp; In which pulpit with the birds skimming
+below him if you&rsquo;ll believe me, I saw a speck while I was resting
+at the inn before dinner which they made signs to me was Jemmy and which
+really was.&nbsp; I had been a fancying as I sat in the balcony of the
+hotel that an Angel might light there and call down to the people to
+be good, but I little thought what Jemmy all unknown to himself was
+a calling down from that high place to some one in the town.</p>
+<p>The pleasantest-situated inn my dear!&nbsp; Right under the two towers,
+with their shadows a changing upon it all day like a kind of a sundial,
+and country people driving in and out of the courtyard in carts and
+hooded cabriolets and such like, and a market outside in front of the
+cathedral, and all so quaint and like a picter.&nbsp; The Major and
+me agreed that whatever came of my Legacy this was the place to stay
+in for our holiday, and we also agreed that our dear boy had best not
+be checked in his joy that night by the sight of the Englishman if he
+was still alive, but that we would go together and alone.&nbsp; For
+you are to understand that the Major not feeling himself quite equal
+in his wind to the height to which Jemmy had climbed, had come back
+to me and left him with the Guide.</p>
+<p>So after dinner when Jemmy had set off to see the river, the Major
+went down to the Mairie, and presently came back with a military character
+in a sword and spurs and a cocked hat and a yellow shoulder-belt and
+long tags about him that he must have found inconvenient.&nbsp; And
+the Major says &ldquo;The Englishman still lies in the same state dearest
+madam.&nbsp; This gentleman will conduct us to his lodging.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+Upon which the military character pulled off his cocked hat to me, and
+I took notice that he had shaved his forehead in imitation of Napoleon
+Bonaparte but not like.</p>
+<p>We wont out at the courtyard gate and past the great doors of the
+cathedral and down a narrow High Street where the people were sitting
+chatting at their shop doors and the children were at play.&nbsp; The
+military character went in front and he stopped at a pork-shop with
+a little statue of a pig sitting up, in the window, and a private door
+that a donkey was looking out of.</p>
+<p>When the donkey saw the military character he came slipping out on
+the pavement to turn round and then clattered along the passage into
+a back yard.&nbsp; So the coast being clear, the Major and me were conducted
+up the common stair and into the front room on the second, a bare room
+with a red tiled floor and the outside lattice blinds pulled close to
+darken it.&nbsp; As the military character opened the blinds I saw the
+tower where I had seen Jemmy, darkening as the sun got low, and I turned
+to the bed by the wall and saw the Englishman.</p>
+<p>It was some kind of brain fever he had had, and his hair was all
+gone, and some wetted folded linen lay upon his head.&nbsp; I looked
+at him very attentive as he lay there all wasted away with his eyes
+closed, and I says to the Major&mdash;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;<i>I</i> never saw this face before.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The Major looked at him very attentive too, and he says &ldquo;I
+never saw this face before.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>When the Major explained our words to the military character, that
+gentleman shrugged his shoulders and showed the Major the card on which
+it was written about the Legacy for me.&nbsp; It had been written with
+a weak and trembling hand in bed, and I knew no more of the writing
+than of the face.&nbsp; Neither did the Major.</p>
+<p>Though lying there alone, the poor creetur was as well taken care
+of as could be hoped, and would have been quite unconscious of any one&rsquo;s
+sitting by him then.&nbsp; I got the Major to say that we were not going
+away at present and that I would come back to-morrow and watch a bit
+by the bedside.&nbsp; But I got him to add&mdash;and I shook my head
+hard to make it stronger&mdash;&ldquo;We agree that we never saw this
+face before.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Our boy was greatly surprised when we told him sitting out in the
+balcony in the starlight, and he ran over some of those stories of former
+Lodgers, of the Major&rsquo;s putting down, and asked wasn&rsquo;t it
+possible that it might be this lodger or that lodger.&nbsp; It was not
+possible, and we went to bed.</p>
+<p>In the morning just at breakfast-time the military character came
+jingling round, and said that the doctor thought from the signs he saw
+there might be some rally before the end.&nbsp; So I says to the Major
+and Jemmy, &ldquo;You two boys go and enjoy yourselves, and I&rsquo;ll
+take my Prayer Book and go sit by the bed.&rdquo;&nbsp; So I went, and
+I sat there some hours, reading a prayer for him poor soul now and then,
+and it was quite on in the day when he moved his hand.</p>
+<p>He had been so still, that the moment he moved I knew of it, and
+I pulled off my spectacles and laid down my book and rose and looked
+at him.&nbsp; From moving one hand he began to move both, and then his
+action was the action of a person groping in the dark.&nbsp; Long after
+his eyes had opened, there was a film over them and he still felt for
+his way out into light.&nbsp; But by slow degrees his sight cleared
+and his hands stopped.&nbsp; He saw the ceiling, he saw the wall, he
+saw me.&nbsp; As his sight cleared, mine cleared too, and when at last
+we looked in one another&rsquo;s faces, I started back, and I cries
+passionately:</p>
+<p>&ldquo;O you wicked wicked man!&nbsp; Your sin has found you out!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>For I knew him, the moment life looked out of his eyes, to be Mr.
+Edson, Jemmy&rsquo;s father who had so cruelly deserted Jemmy&rsquo;s
+young unmarried mother who had died in my arms, poor tender creetur,
+and left Jemmy to me.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;You cruel wicked man!&nbsp; You bad black traitor!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>With the little strength he had, he made an attempt to turn over
+on his wretched face to hide it.&nbsp; His arm dropped out of the bed
+and his head with it, and there he lay before me crushed in body and
+in mind.&nbsp; Surely the miserablest sight under the summer sun!</p>
+<p>&ldquo;O blessed Heaven,&rdquo; I says a crying, &ldquo;teach me
+what to say to this broken mortal!&nbsp; I am a poor sinful creetur,
+and the Judgment is not mine.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>As I lifted my eyes up to the clear bright sky, I saw the high tower
+where Jemmy had stood above the birds, seeing that very window; and
+the last look of that poor pretty young mother when her soul brightened
+and got free, seemed to shine down from it.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;O man, man, man!&rdquo; I says, and I went on my knees beside
+the bed; &ldquo;if your heart is rent asunder and you are truly penitent
+for what you did, Our Saviour will have mercy on you yet!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>As I leaned my face against the bed, his feeble hand could just move
+itself enough to touch me.&nbsp; I hope the touch was penitent.&nbsp;
+It tried to hold my dress and keep hold, but the fingers were too weak
+to close.</p>
+<p>I lifted him back upon the pillows and I says to him:</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Can you hear me?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>He looked yes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Do you know me?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>He looked yes, even yet more plainly.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I am not here alone.&nbsp; The Major is with me.&nbsp; You
+recollect the Major?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Yes.&nbsp; That is to say he made out yes, in the same way as before.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;And even the Major and I are not alone.&nbsp; My grandson&mdash;his
+godson&mdash;is with us.&nbsp; Do you hear?&nbsp; My grandson.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The fingers made another trial to catch my sleeve, but could only
+creep near it and fall.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Do you know who my grandson is?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Yes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I pitied and loved his lonely mother.&nbsp; When his mother
+lay a dying I said to her, &lsquo;My dear, this baby is sent to a childless
+old woman.&rsquo;&nbsp; He has been my pride and joy ever since.&nbsp;
+I love him as dearly as if he had drunk from my breast.&nbsp; Do you
+ask to see my grandson before you die?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Yes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Show me, when I leave off speaking, if you correctly understand
+what I say.&nbsp; He has been kept unacquainted with the story of his
+birth.&nbsp; He has no knowledge of it.&nbsp; No suspicion of it.&nbsp;
+If I bring him here to the side of this bed, he will suppose you to
+be a perfect stranger.&nbsp; It is more than I can do to keep from him
+the knowledge that there is such wrong and misery in the world; but
+that it was ever so near him in his innocent cradle I have kept from
+him, and I do keep from him, and I ever will keep from him, for his
+mother&rsquo;s sake, and for his own.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>He showed me that he distinctly understood, and the tears fell from
+his eyes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Now rest, and you shall see him.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>So I got him a little wine and some brandy, and I put things straight
+about his bed.&nbsp; But I began to be troubled in my mind lest Jemmy
+and the Major might be too long of coming back.&nbsp; What with this
+occupation for my thoughts and hands, I didn&rsquo;t hear a foot upon
+the stairs, and was startled when I saw the Major stopped short in the
+middle of the room by the eyes of the man upon the bed, and knowing
+him then, as I had known him a little while ago.</p>
+<p>There was anger in the Major&rsquo;s face, and there was horror and
+repugnance and I don&rsquo;t know what.&nbsp; So I went up to him and
+I led him to the bedside, and when I clasped my hands and lifted of
+them up, the Major did the like.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;O Lord&rdquo; I says &ldquo;Thou knowest what we two saw together
+of the sufferings and sorrows of that young creetur now with Thee.&nbsp;
+If this dying man is truly penitent, we two together humbly pray Thee
+to have mercy on him!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The Major says &ldquo;Amen!&rdquo; and then after a little stop I
+whispers him, &ldquo;Dear old friend fetch our beloved boy.&rdquo;&nbsp;
+And the Major, so clever as to have got to understand it all without
+being told a word, went away and brought him.</p>
+<p>Never never never shall I forget the fair bright face of our boy
+when he stood at the foot of the bed, looking at his unknown father.&nbsp;
+And O so like his dear young mother then!</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Jemmy&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;I have found out all about this
+poor gentleman who is so ill, and he did lodge in the old house once.&nbsp;
+And as he wants to see all belonging to it, now that he is passing away,
+I sent for you.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Ah poor man!&rdquo; says Jemmy stepping forward and touching
+one of his hands with great gentleness.&nbsp; &ldquo;My heart melts
+for him.&nbsp; Poor, poor man!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The eyes that were so soon to close for ever turned to me, and I
+was not that strong in the pride of my strength that I could resist
+them.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;My darling boy, there is a reason in the secret history of
+this fellow-creetur lying as the best and worst of us must all lie one
+day, which I think would ease his spirit in his last hour if you would
+lay your cheek against his forehead and say, &lsquo;May God forgive
+you!&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;O Gran,&rdquo; says Jemmy with a full heart, &ldquo;I am not
+worthy!&rdquo;&nbsp; But he leaned down and did it.&nbsp; Then the faltering
+fingers made out to catch hold of my sleeve at last, and I believe he
+was a-trying to kiss me when he died.</p>
+<p>* * * * *</p>
+<p>There my dear!&nbsp; There you have the story of my Legacy in full,
+and it&rsquo;s worth ten times the trouble I have spent upon it if you
+are pleased to like it.</p>
+<p>You might suppose that it set us against the little French town of
+Sens, but no we didn&rsquo;t find that.&nbsp; I found myself that I
+never looked up at the high tower atop of the other tower, but the days
+came back again when that fair young creetur with her pretty bright
+hair trusted in me like a mother, and the recollection made the place
+so peaceful to me as I can&rsquo;t express.&nbsp; And every soul about
+the hotel down to the pigeons in the courtyard made friends with Jemmy
+and the Major, and went lumbering away with them on all sorts of expeditions
+in all sorts of vehicles drawn by rampagious cart-horses,&mdash;with
+heads and without,&mdash;mud for paint and ropes for harness,&mdash;and
+every new friend dressed in blue like a butcher, and every new horse
+standing on his hind legs wanting to devour and consume every other
+horse, and every man that had a whip to crack crack-crack-crack-crack-cracking
+it as if it was a schoolboy with his first.&nbsp; As to the Major my
+dear that man lived the greater part of his time with a little tumbler
+in one hand and a bottle of small wine in the other, and whenever he
+saw anybody else with a little tumbler, no matter who it was,&mdash;the
+military character with the tags, or the inn-servants at their supper
+in the courtyard, or townspeople a chatting on a bench, or country people
+a starting home after market,&mdash;down rushes the Major to clink his
+glass against their glasses and cry,&mdash;Hola!&nbsp; Vive Somebody!
+or Vive Something! as if he was beside himself.&nbsp; And though I could
+not quite approve of the Major&rsquo;s doing it, still the ways of the
+world are the ways of the world varying according to the different parts
+of it, and dancing at all in the open Square with a lady that kept a
+barber&rsquo;s shop my opinion is that the Major was right to dance
+his best and to lead off with a power that I did not think was in him,
+though I was a little uneasy at the Barricading sound of the cries that
+were set up by the other dancers and the rest of the company, until
+when I says &ldquo;What are they ever calling out Jemmy?&rdquo; Jemmy
+says, &ldquo;They&rsquo;re calling out Gran, Bravo the Military English!&nbsp;
+Bravo the Military English!&rdquo; which was very gratifying to my feelings
+as a Briton and became the name the Major was known by.</p>
+<p>But every evening at a regular time we all three sat out in the balcony
+of the hotel at the end of the courtyard, looking up at the golden and
+rosy light as it changed on the great towers, and looking at the shadows
+of the towers as they changed on all about us ourselves included, and
+what do you think we did there?&nbsp; My dear, if Jemmy hadn&rsquo;t
+brought some other of those stories of the Major&rsquo;s taking down
+from the telling of former lodgers at Eighty-one Norfolk Street, and
+if he didn&rsquo;t bring &rsquo;em out with this speech:</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Here you are Gran!&nbsp; Here you are godfather!&nbsp; More
+of &rsquo;em!&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll read.&nbsp; And though you wrote &rsquo;em
+for me, godfather, I know you won&rsquo;t disapprove of my making &rsquo;em
+over to Gran; will you?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;No, my dear boy,&rdquo; says the Major.&nbsp; &ldquo;Everything
+we have is hers, and we are hers.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Hers ever affectionately and devotedly J. Jackman, and J.
+Jackman Lirriper,&rdquo; cries the Young Rogue giving me a close hug.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Very well then godfather.&nbsp; Look here.&nbsp; As Gran is in
+the Legacy way just now, I shall make these stories a part of Gran&rsquo;s
+Legacy.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll leave &rsquo;em to her.&nbsp; What do you say
+godfather?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Hip hip Hurrah!&rdquo; says the Major.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Very well then,&rdquo; cries Jemmy all in a bustle.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;Vive the Military English!&nbsp; Vive the Lady Lirriper!&nbsp;
+Vive the Jemmy Jackman Ditto!&nbsp; Vive the Legacy!&nbsp; Now, you
+look out, Gran.&nbsp; And you look out, godfather.&nbsp; <i>I&rsquo;ll</i>
+read!&nbsp; And I&rsquo;ll tell you what I&rsquo;ll do besides.&nbsp;
+On the last night of our holiday here when we are all packed and going
+away, I&rsquo;ll top up with something of my own.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Mind you do sir&rdquo; says I.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER II&mdash;MRS. LIRRIPER RELATES HOW JEMMY TOPPED UP</h2>
+<p>Well my dear and so the evening readings of those jottings of the
+Major&rsquo;s brought us round at last to the evening when we were all
+packed and going away next day, and I do assure you that by that time
+though it was deliciously comfortable to look forward to the dear old
+house in Norfolk Street again, I had formed quite a high opinion of
+the French nation and had noticed them to be much more homely and domestic
+in their families and far more simple and amiable in their lives than
+I had ever been led to expect, and it did strike me between ourselves
+that in one particular they might be imitated to advantage by another
+nation which I will not mention, and that is in the courage with which
+they take their little enjoyments on little means and with little things
+and don&rsquo;t let solemn big-wigs stare them out of countenance or
+speechify them dull, of which said solemn big-wigs I have ever had the
+one opinion that I wish they were all made comfortable separately in
+coppers with the lids on and never let out any more.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Now young man,&rdquo; I says to Jemmy when we brought our
+chairs into the balcony that last evening, &ldquo;you please to remember
+who was to &lsquo;top up.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;All right Gran&rdquo; says Jemmy.&nbsp; &ldquo;I am the illustrious
+personage.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>But he looked so serious after he had made me that light answer,
+that the Major raised his eyebrows at me and I raised mine at the Major.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Gran and godfather,&rdquo; says Jemmy, &ldquo;you can hardly
+think how much my mind has run on Mr. Edson&rsquo;s death.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>It gave me a little check.&nbsp; &ldquo;Ah! it was a sad scene my
+love&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;and sad remembrances come back stronger than
+merry.&nbsp; But this&rdquo; I says after a little silence, to rouse
+myself and the Major and Jemmy all together, &ldquo;is not topping up.&nbsp;
+Tell us your story my dear.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I will&rdquo; says Jemmy.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;What is the date sir?&rdquo; says I.&nbsp; &ldquo;Once upon
+a time when pigs drank wine?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;No Gran,&rdquo; says Jemmy, still serious; &ldquo;once upon
+a time when the French drank wine.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Again I glanced at the Major, and the Major glanced at me.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;In short, Gran and godfather,&rdquo; says Jemmy, looking up,
+&ldquo;the date is this time, and I&rsquo;m going to tell you Mr. Edson&rsquo;s
+story.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>The flutter that it threw me into.&nbsp; The change of colour on
+the part of the Major!</p>
+<p>&ldquo;That is to say, you understand,&rdquo; our bright-eyed boy
+says, &ldquo;I am going to give you my version of it.&nbsp; I shall
+not ask whether it&rsquo;s right or not, firstly because you said you
+knew very little about it, Gran, and secondly because what little you
+did know was a secret.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I folded my hands in my lap and I never took my eyes off Jemmy as
+he went running on.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;The unfortunate gentleman&rdquo; Jemmy commences, &ldquo;who
+is the subject of our present narrative was the son of Somebody, and
+was born Somewhere, and chose a profession Somehow.&nbsp; It is not
+with those parts of his career that we have to deal; but with his early
+attachment to a young and beautiful lady.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I thought I should have dropped.&nbsp; I durstn&rsquo;t look at the
+Major; but I know what his state was, without looking at him.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;The father of our ill-starred hero&rdquo; says Jemmy, copying
+as it seemed to me the style of some of his story-books, &ldquo;was
+a worldly man who entertained ambitious views for his only son and who
+firmly set his face against the contemplated alliance with a virtuous
+but penniless orphan.&nbsp; Indeed he went so far as roundly to assure
+our hero that unless he weaned his thoughts from the object of his devoted
+affection, he would disinherit him.&nbsp; At the same time, he proposed
+as a suitable match the daughter of a neighbouring gentleman of a good
+estate, who was neither ill-favoured nor unamiable, and whose eligibility
+in a pecuniary point of view could not be disputed.&nbsp; But young
+Mr. Edson, true to the first and only love that had inflamed his breast,
+rejected all considerations of self-advancement, and, deprecating his
+father&rsquo;s anger in a respectful letter, ran away with her.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>My dear I had begun to take a turn for the better, but when it come
+to running away I began to take another turn for the worse.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;The lovers&rdquo; says Jemmy &ldquo;fled to London and were
+united at the altar of Saint Clement&rsquo;s Danes.&nbsp; And it is
+at this period of their simple but touching story that we find them
+inmates of the dwelling of a highly-respected and beloved lady of the
+name of Gran, residing within a hundred miles of Norfolk Street.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I felt that we were almost safe now, I felt that the dear boy had
+no suspicion of the bitter truth, and I looked at the Major for the
+first time and drew a long breath.&nbsp; The Major gave me a nod.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Our hero&rsquo;s father&rdquo; Jemmy goes on &ldquo;proving
+implacable and carrying his threat into unrelenting execution, the struggles
+of the young couple in London were severe, and would have been far more
+so, but for their good angel&rsquo;s having conducted them to the abode
+of Mrs. Gran; who, divining their poverty (in spite of their endeavours
+to conceal it from her), by a thousand delicate arts smoothed their
+rough way, and alleviated the sharpness of their first distress.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Here Jemmy took one of my hands in one of his, and began a marking
+the turns of his story by making me give a beat from time to time upon
+his other hand.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;After a while, they left the house of Mrs. Gran, and pursued
+their fortunes through a variety of successes and failures elsewhere.&nbsp;
+But in all reverses, whether for good or evil, the words of Mr. Edson
+to the fair young partner of his life were, &lsquo;Unchanging Love and
+Truth will carry us through all!&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
+<p>My hand trembled in the dear boy&rsquo;s, those words were so wofully
+unlike the fact.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Unchanging Love and Truth&rdquo; says Jemmy over again, as
+if he had a proud kind of a noble pleasure in it, &ldquo;will carry
+us through all!&nbsp; Those were his words.&nbsp; And so they fought
+their way, poor but gallant and happy, until Mrs. Edson gave birth to
+a child.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;A daughter,&rdquo; I says.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; says Jemmy, &ldquo;a son.&nbsp; And the father
+was so proud of it that he could hardly bear it out of his sight.&nbsp;
+But a dark cloud overspread the scene.&nbsp; Mrs. Edson sickened, drooped,
+and died.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Ah!&nbsp; Sickened, drooped, and died!&rdquo; I says.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;And so Mr. Edson&rsquo;s only comfort, only hope on earth,
+and only stimulus to action, was his darling boy.&nbsp; As the child
+grew older, he grew so like his mother that he was her living picture.&nbsp;
+It used to make him wonder why his father cried when he kissed him.&nbsp;
+But unhappily he was like his mother in constitution as well as in face,
+and lo, died too before he had grown out of childhood.&nbsp; Then Mr.
+Edson, who had good abilities, in his forlornness and despair, threw
+them all to the winds.&nbsp; He became apathetic, reckless, lost.&nbsp;
+Little by little he sank down, down, down, down, until at last he almost
+lived (I think) by gaming.&nbsp; And so sickness overtook him in the
+town of Sens in France, and he lay down to die.&nbsp; But now that he
+laid him down when all was done, and looked back upon the green Past
+beyond the time when he had covered it with ashes, he thought gratefully
+of the good Mrs. Gran long lost sight of, who had been so kind to him
+and his young wife in the early days of their marriage, and he left
+the little that he had as a last Legacy to her.&nbsp; And she, being
+brought to see him, at first no more knew him than she would know from
+seeing the ruin of a Greek or Roman Temple, what it used to be before
+it fell; but at length she remembered him.&nbsp; And then he told her,
+with tears, of his regret for the misspent part of his life, and besought
+her to think as mildly of it as she could, because it was the poor fallen
+Angel of his unchanging Love and Constancy after all.&nbsp; And because
+she had her grandson with her, and he fancied that his own boy, if he
+had lived, might have grown to be something like him, he asked her to
+let him touch his forehead with his cheek and say certain parting words.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Jemmy&rsquo;s voice sank low when it got to that, and tears filled
+my eyes, and filled the Major&rsquo;s.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;You little Conjurer&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;how did you ever
+make it all out?&nbsp; Go in and write it every word down, for it&rsquo;s
+a wonder.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Which Jemmy did, and I have repeated it to you my dear from his writing.</p>
+<p>Then the Major took my hand and kissed it, and said, &ldquo;Dearest
+madam all has prospered with us.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Ah Major&rdquo; I says drying my eyes, &ldquo;we needn&rsquo;t
+have been afraid.&nbsp; We might have known it.&nbsp; Treachery don&rsquo;t
+come natural to beaming youth; but trust and pity, love and constancy,&mdash;they
+do, thank God!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MRS. LIRRIPER'S LEGACY***</p>
+<pre>
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