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<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of
The Ladies Delight,
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<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14005 ***</div>
<div style="height: 8em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
<h2>THE</h2>
<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">
L a d i e s D e l i g h t</span>.</h1>
<h2>
CONTAINING,
</h2>
<div style="margin-left:15%;margin-right:15%;">
<p style="font-size: 120%;">
I. An Address to all <i>well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>;
</p>
<p style="font-size: 120%;">
II. The <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took
it's <i>Root</i>, and has spread its <i>Leaves</i> over all Christendom; being
extremely useful to <i>Students</i> in all <i>Branches</i> of polite Literature.
</p>
<p style="font-size: 120%;">
III. The Natural History of the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, The Tree of Life, in
Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript.
</p>
<p style="font-size: 120%;">
IV. <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in
the famous <i>Spring Gardens</i> at <i>Vaux-Hall</i>, under the Care of that
ingenious <i>Botanist</i> Doctor <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">H——gg——r</span>.
</p>
<center>
<hr />
<i>RES est severa Voluptas</i>.
<hr />
</center>
<center>
<small>
<i>LONDON</i>:
<br />
Printed for <i>W. James</i> in the <i>Strand</i>, 1732
</small>
<br /><br />
[Price Six-pence.]
</center>
</div>
<hr class="full" />
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
<a href="images/delight1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight1.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<h2>AN</h2>
<h1>A D D R E S S</h1>
<h2> TO ALL<br /> <i>Well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>.</h2>
<p>
<i>Gentlemen</i>,
</p>
<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;">
<a href="images/delight2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight2.png"
alt="A" /></a>
</div>
<p style="text-indent: -1em;">S Nature hath been so <i>very Indulgent</i> to ye, as to stock your Gardens
with <i>Trees</i> of the <i>largest Growth</i>, for which Reason ye are caress'd,
whilst Men of <i>less Parts</i>, tho' in <i>some Things</i> more deserving, are
laugh'd at, and excluded all Company.
</p>
<p>
As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with
Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that
increases too. Both Men and Beasts have <i>some-thing</i> or another, for
which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in
this <i>Talent</i>, may securely laugh, while ye daily <i>grow</i> in the Ladies
Favour, and spread your <i>Branches</i> over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful
<i>Stick of Wood</i> has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they
had <i>piss'd</i> their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term
it) have by the Strength of true <i>Hibernian</i> Prowess rais'd themselves
to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her <i>plac'd in a
HOT-BED</i>, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd
again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been
content to <i>spend</i> the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the
World.
</p>
<p>
Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize
their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may
still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your
<i>Green-houses</i> be secure, nor your <i>young Plants</i> be ever nipt in the
<i>Bud</i>, and that you may ever <i>stand</i> against all <i>Cracks</i>, Storms,
Tempests, and <i>Eruptions</i>,
</p>
<center>
<i>Is the hearty Wishes of Your's</i>,
</center>
<p style="text-align: right;">
BOTANICUS.
</p>
<hr class="full" />
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
<a href="images/delight3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight3.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<h2>THE</h2>
<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1>
<h2>OF THE</h2>
<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;">
<a href="images/delight4.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight4.png"
alt="T" /></a>
</div>
<p> THE Tree of which I fain would sing,</p>
<p> If the kind Muse her Aid would bring,</p>
<p> Is <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>; but in brief,</p>
<p> By vulgar Men call'd—<i>Tree of Life</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> First for Description then, 'tis such</p>
<p> As needs must captivate you much.</p>
<p> In Stem most streight, of lovely Size,</p>
<p> With Head elate this Plant doth rise;</p>
<p> First bare—when it doth further shoot,</p>
<p> <i>A Tuft of Moss</i> keeps warm the Root:</p>
<p> No <i>Lapland</i> Muff has such a Fur,</p>
<p> No Skin so soft has any Cur;</p>
<p> This touch'd, alone the Heart can move,</p>
<p> Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love;</p>
<p> From this erect springs up the Stalk,</p>
<p> No Power can stop, or ought can baulk;</p>
<p> On Top an <i>Apex</i> crowns the Tree,</p>
<p> As all Mankind may plainly see;</p>
<p> So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell,</p>
<p> Half gone, displays the <i>ruby Peel</i></p>
<p> Or like a Cherry bright and gay,</p>
<p> Just red'ning in the Month of <i>May</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> As other Trees bear Fruit at Top,</p>
<p> And they who rob 'em must <i>climb up</i>;</p>
<p> This still more rare doth upward shoot,</p>
<p> But at the Bottom bears its Fruit,</p>
<p> And they who'd reap its Virtues strong,</p>
<p> Need but to lay 'em <i>all along</i>,</p>
<p> <i>Ope' wide, their Mouths</i>, and they'll receive</p>
<p> The <i>Fruit of Life</i>, and eat, and live:</p>
<p> Not the fair Tree that <i>India</i> bears,</p>
<p> All over Spice both Head and Ears,</p>
<p> Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs</p>
<p> Have granted to this Tree of ours:</p>
<p> That in good Ale its Power boasts,</p>
<p> And ours has <i>Nutmeg's</i> fit for <i>Toasts</i></p>
<p> And Bags by <i>Nature</i> planted grow,</p>
<p> To keep 'em from all Winds that blow.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> The Rise is slow, and by Degrees,</p>
<p> Both Fruits and Tree itself increase</p>
<p> So slow, that ten Years scarce produce</p>
<p> <i>Six Inches</i> good and fit for Use;</p>
<p> But fifteen ripen well the Fruit,</p>
<p> And add a <i>viscous Balm</i> into't;</p>
<p> Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd,</p>
<p> Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd;</p>
<p> As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain,</p>
<p> So does this Shrub <i>its Juice</i> retain,</p>
<p> Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe,</p>
<p> Is justly call'd the <i>flow'ring Shrub</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> In every Nation springs this Tree,</p>
<p> In some confin'd; in others more free;</p>
<p> In <i>England</i>, 'tis of mod'rate Size,</p>
<p> And oft' does <i>nine full inches</i> rise:</p>
<p> But <i>Ireland</i>, tho' in Soil most poor,</p>
<p> Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store;</p>
<p> And sent o'er hither, it is such</p>
<p> As does exceed our own by much,</p>
<p> And gets the Owner many a <i>Farthing</i>,</p>
<p> For <i>Ladies</i> love it in their <i>Garden</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> That it's a <i>Tree</i> right <i>sensitive</i>,</p>
<p> Denies no honest Man alive:</p>
<p> Tho' as one <i>shrinks</i> and will not stand,</p>
<p> This <i>rises</i> at a <i>Lady's</i> Hand,</p>
<p> And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd,</p>
<p> As others <i>fall</i> when they are <i>pok'd</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> When nipping Cold bites off our Nose,</p>
<p> And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose,</p>
<p> In <i>Hot-beds</i> only then 'twill live,</p>
<p> And only when-well warm'd will thrive;</p>
<p> But when warm Summer does appear,</p>
<p> 'Twill <i>stand</i> all <i>brunts</i> in open Air;</p>
<p> Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat,</p>
<p> And sink with Nurture too replete;</p>
<p> Then <i>Birchen Twigs</i>, if right apply'd</p>
<p> To Back, Fore-part, or either Side——</p>
<p> Support a while, <i>and keep it up</i>,</p>
<p> Tho' soon again the Plant will droop.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Motteux</i> had one very untow'rd,</p>
<p> And thought to mend it with a Cord,</p>
<p> But <i>kill'd the Tree</i>, yet gain'd his <i>End</i>,</p>
<p> Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Others have thought to mend the Root,</p>
<p> By taking from the Tree its Fruit;</p>
<p> But in the <i>Nutmegs</i> lies the Breed,</p>
<p> And when they're gone we lose the <i>Seed</i>;</p>
<p> Tho' Virtuosi still have don't,</p>
<p> And always found it yield Accompt;</p>
<p> For <i>Hey——gg——r</i> then buys the <i>Wood</i>,</p>
<p> And of it makes us Whistles good,</p>
<p> Which yearly from <i>Italia</i> sent,</p>
<p> Here answers his and our Intent.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Others too curious will <i>innoc</i></p>
<p> <i>Ulate</i> their Plants on <i>Medlars</i> Stock,</p>
<p> (<i>i.e.</i> as Tongues in Vulgar pass,</p>
<p> They graft it on an <i>Open-arse</i>;)</p>
<p> But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all,</p>
<p> Say this is most <i>unnatural</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> That Soil is certainly the best,</p>
<p> Whence first it sprang, and first increast,</p>
<p> In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm,</p>
<p> With Hills to ward off every Storm,</p>
<p> Where Water salt runs trickling down,</p>
<p> And <i>Tendrils</i> lie o'er all the Ground,</p>
<p> Such as the Tree itself shoots forth,</p>
<p> And better if't be tow'rds the <i>North</i>;</p>
<p> When such a Piece of Ground you see,</p>
<p> If in the midst a Pit there be,</p>
<p> There plant it deep unto the <i>Root</i>,</p>
<p> And never fear——you'll soon have <i>Fruit</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Tho' let young <i>Botanists</i> beware</p>
<p> Of Insects that oft' harbour there,</p>
<p> Which 'mongst the tender <i>Fibres</i> breed,</p>
<p> And if not kill'd, eat up the <i>Seed</i>:</p>
<p> Good <i>Humphrey Bowen</i> gives another,</p>
<p> (As each Man should assist his Brother)</p>
<p> That is, to take especial Care</p>
<p> Not to set <i>Vulvaria</i> near;</p>
<p> Of them two Sorts are frequent found,</p>
<p> One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground;</p>
<p> And many a Plant thriving and tall,</p>
<p> Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> But <i>Misan</i>'s taken this just napping,</p>
<p> And <i>against all Things that can happen</i></p>
<p> Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some</p>
<p> How to make the deadliest <i>Wholesome</i>;</p>
<p> These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> grow</p>
<p> At <i>Vaux-Hall</i> and <i>St. James's</i> too;</p>
<p> Nay, and about the Tree so leap,</p>
<p> That very few good Plants can 'scape.</p>
</div></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
<a href="images/delight5.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight5.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<h2>
<i>The Names and Virtues</i>
</h2>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<p> Old Mother <i>D'Acier</i>, in her Notes</p>
<p> <i>On Homer</i>, some hard <i>Greek</i> Word quotes,</p>
<p> Calls it <i>Nep, nep</i>,—I know not what,</p>
<p> And says it is the very Plant that</p>
<p> The tawny Queen to <i>Helen</i> sent,</p>
<p> To cure her Griefs at all Event.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Great <i>Milton's Murd'rer</i> says it is</p>
<p> The fam'd <i>Machæra Herculis</i>,</p>
<p> And proves from some old <i>Grecian</i> Poet,</p>
<p> So plain that all Men sure must know it,</p>
<p> That of this <i>Tree</i> the Club was made,</p>
<p> With which he overcame ('tis said)</p>
<p> <i>Thespius</i>' Daughters, all grown wild,</p>
<p> And <i>fifty Mad-Women</i> made <i>mild</i>;</p>
<p> Which very Club—(it makes one Laugh)</p>
<p> <i>Omphale</i> turn'd into a Distaff.</p>
<p> Nay, the <i>Hesperian</i> Tree was this,</p>
<p> As shew the <i>Poma Veneris</i>;</p>
<p> These Apples doubtless were the Fruit</p>
<p> That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute,</p>
<p> To make 'em all <i>stark-naked</i> stand,</p>
<p> While <i>Paris</i> held it in his Hand,</p>
<p> And <i>chuck'd</i> it into <i>Venus</i>' Mouth,</p>
<p> 'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> The Virtues are of such great Note,</p>
<p> That twenty Volumes might be wrote;</p>
<p> The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures,</p>
<p> And purges thro' all corporal Pores;</p>
<p> If any Maid be sick, or faint</p>
<p> Of Love, or Father's close Constraint,</p>
<p> One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm</p>
<p> Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm;</p>
<p> 'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause,</p>
<p> And in the Belly make strange Flaws,</p>
<p> But a few Moons will make 'em sound,</p>
<p> And safely fetch the Swelling down.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Not Saffron chears the Heart like this,</p>
<p> Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss:</p>
<p> When Wife and Husband do fall out,</p>
<p> And both remain in sullen pout,</p>
<p> This brings them to themselves again,</p>
<p> And fast unites the broken Chain;</p>
<p> Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease</p>
<p> And gives at least a <i>Night of Peace</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> This Rarity may now be seen</p>
<p> In <i>Lambeth</i>, at a Garden Green,</p>
<p> <i>Bowen</i> his Name, who in high Tone,</p>
<p> Calls it the <i>Tree of Silver Spoon</i>,</p>
<p> Which all the Maids of curious Eyes</p>
<p> May there behold of <i>largest</i> Size.</p>
</div></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;">
<a href="images/delight6.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight6.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
<hr class="full" />
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
<a href="images/delight7.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight7.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<h2>THE</h2>
<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1>
<h2>OF THE</h2>
<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1>
<h3>
<i>The</i> DESCRIPTION <i>and</i> PLACE.
</h3>
<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;">
<a href="images/delight8.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight8.png"
alt="T" /></a>
</div>
<p style="text-indent: -1em;">HE <i>Tree of Life</i> is a <i>succulent Plant</i>, consisting of one only strait
stem, on the top of which is a <i>Pistillum</i> or <i>Apex</i>, at some times
<i>Glandiform</i> and resembling a <i>May-Cherry</i>, tho' at others, more like
the <i>Nut</i> of the <i>Avellana</i> or <i>Filbeard-Tree</i>.
</p>
<p>
Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are
usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding
that of an ordinary <i>Nutmeg</i> both contained in one strong <i>Siliqua</i>, or
purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly
thick set with numerous <i>Fibrilla</i> or <i>capillary Tendrils</i>.
</p>
<p>
The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection,
rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits
coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy <i>succus</i>, which
being from time to time discharged at the <i>Pistillum</i> is mostly bestow'd
upon the open <i>Calyx's</i> of the <i>Frutex Vulvaria</i> or <i>flow'ring Shrub</i>
usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a
wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. <i>Richard
Bradley</i> is of opinion, the <i>Frutex</i> is hereby impregnated, and then
first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this <i>Succus</i> the <i>Farina
foecundans</i> of the plant: and the learned <i>Leonhard Fucksius</i>, in his
<i>Historia Stirpium insigniorum</i>, observes the greatest sympathy between
this tree and shrub, <i>They are</i>, says he, <i>of the same genus, and do
best in the same bed, the</i> Vulvaria <i>itself being indeed no other than
a</i> female Arbor Vitæ.
</p>
<p>
It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than
others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in
<i>England</i> rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that
chiefly in <i>Kent</i>, whereas in <i>Ireland</i>, it comes to far greater
dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon
it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good
houses with single plants of this sort.
</p>
<p>
As the <i>Irish</i> soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad
for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be
about <i>Harborough</i> and the <i>Forest of Sherard</i>.
</p>
<p>
The stem seems to be of the <i>sensitive</i> tribe, tho' herein differing
from the more common <i>Sensitives</i>; that whereas they are known to shrink
and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on
the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled.
</p>
<p>
In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in
warmer weather they stand well in the open air.
</p>
<p>
In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid,
and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of
splintering them up with <i>birchen Twigs</i>, which has seem'd of some
service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the
same or a more drooping state than before.
</p>
<p>
The late ingenious Mr. <i>Motteux</i> thought of restoring a fine plant he
had in this condition, by tying it up with a <i>Tomex</i> or cord made of the
bark of the <i>Vitex</i>, or <i>Hempen-Tree</i>: but whether he made the ligature
too straight, or that the nature of the <i>Vitex</i> is really in itself
pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this
universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment.
</p>
<p>
Some <i>Virtuosi</i> have thought of improving their trees for some purposes,
by taking off the <i>Nutmegs</i>, which is however a bad way; they never
<i>seed</i> after, and are good for little more than making whistles of,
which are imported every year from <i>Italy</i>, and sell indeed at a good
price.
</p>
<p>
Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants
on the stock of the <i>Medlar</i> and that with a manure of <i>human Ordure</i>,
but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to
a <i>very ill end</i> by such management.
</p>
<p>
The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that
is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by
their producing the same sort of <i>Tendrils</i> as are observ'd about the
roots of the <i>Arbor</i> itself. Some cautions however are very necessary,
especially to young <i>Botanists</i>; and first, to be very diligent in
keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not,
unlike a <i>Morpione</i> or <i>Cimex</i>, being very subject to breed amongst the
<i>Fibrillæ</i>, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves
often of very dangerous consequence.
</p>
<p>
Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and
judicious Botanist Mr. <i>Humphrey Bowen</i>, to beware of a poisonous
species of <i>Vulvaria</i>, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and
which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their
well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of
<i>la Quintinye</i>, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience,
some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and
he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous
shrub, become <i>porrose, scabiose</i>, and cover'd with <i>fungous
Excrescences</i> not unlike the fruits of the <i>Ficus sylvestris</i> in which
case the <i>succus</i> also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree
itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had
hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through
a whole Plantation.
</p>
<p>
These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd
the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out
remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the
celebrated <i>Dr. Misaubin</i> who from his profound knowledge in Botany has
composed a most elaborate work upon <i>all the things that can happen</i>,
both to the <i>Arbor Vitæ</i> and <i>Vulvaria also</i>: There he has taught a
certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even
found out a way of making the most venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> itself wholesome,
which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him.
</p>
<p>
These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> are but too common in most gardens about
<i>London</i>; there are many in St. <i>James's Park</i>, and more in the
celebrated gardens at <i>Vaux-hall</i> over the water.
</p>
<h3>
<i>The</i> NAMES <i>and</i> VIRTUES.
</h3>
<p>
Besides the common name of <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>, a very learned Philosopher
and great Divine would have it call'd, <i>Arbor Scientiæ boni & mali</i>;
believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the
middle of the garden of <i>Eden</i>, and whose fruits were so alluring to
our first mother. Others would have it call'd the <i>Mandrake</i> of <i>Leah</i>,
persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren <i>Rachel</i>
a joyful mother of children.
</p>
<p>
The learned <i>Madame D'Acier</i> in her notes upon <i>Homer</i> contends it
should be called <i>Nepenthes</i>. She gives many reasons why it certainly
is that very plant, whose fruits the <i>Egyptian</i> queen recommended to
<i>Helen</i>, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which
She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of
as a <i>Panacæa</i> upon all occasions.
</p>
<p>
The great Dr. <i>Bentley</i> calls it more than once <i>Machæra Herculis</i>,
having proved out of the fragments of a <i>Greek</i> Poet, that of this tree
was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the
fifty wild daughters of <i>Thespius</i>, but which Queen <i>Omphale</i> afterwards
reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated <i>Hesperian</i>
trees were of this sort; and the very name of <i>Poma Veneris</i>, frequently
given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these
were really the <i>Apples</i> for which three Goddesses contended in so warm
a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest
title.
</p>
<p>
The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The
juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of
the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex.
It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those
being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few
Months.
</p>
<p>
It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and
discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and
loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this
reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest
empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most
destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been
produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the
chief of the contending parties.
</p>
<p>
If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in
good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr <i>Bowen's</i>
garden at <i>Lambeth</i>, who calls it <i>The Silver-Spoon Tree</i>; and is at all
times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it.
</p>
<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;">
<a href="images/delight9.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight9.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
<hr class="full" />
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
<a href="images/delighta.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delighta.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<h2>THE</h2>
<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>,</h1>
<h2>A</h2>
<h1>P O E M.</h1>
<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;">
<a href="images/delightb.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightb.png"
alt="T" /></a>
</div>
<p> What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain,</p>
<p> To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain—</p>
<p> Now <i>Balls</i>, now <i>Masquerades</i> his Care employ,</p>
<p> And <i>Play</i> and Park alternately give Joy—</p>
<p> Industrious <i>H——gg——r</i>, whose magick Brains</p>
<p> Still in their Shell the <i>Recipe</i> retains</p>
<p> Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light</p>
<p> And helps the lab'ring Swain to <i>Celia's</i> Sight;</p>
<p> For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread—</p>
<p> And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,—and <i>Bread</i>;</p>
<p> For this the <i>Assembly's</i> fix'd; and the huge Dome</p>
<p> Swells with the Lady's Vows, <i>when the Stake's gone</i>.—</p>
<p> For this he forms the vicious Masquerade,</p>
<p> Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade,</p>
<p> For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray,</p>
<p> And Pickpockets too, <i>hail</i> the joyful Day—</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth,</p>
<p> Who to <i>Ridotto</i> gave an <i>English</i> Birth;</p>
<p> To him let every Templar bend the Knee,</p>
<p> Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee:</p>
<p> Let <i>Drury-Lane</i> eternal Columns raise,</p>
<p> And every wanton Wife resound his Praise;</p>
<p> Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey,</p>
<p> And to their grand Procurer Homage pay.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> No more shall <i>Duchesses</i> to <i>Bath</i> repair,</p>
<p> Or fly to <i>Tunbridge</i> to procure an Heir;</p>
<p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> can supply their every Want,</p>
<p> For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant,</p>
<p> And future Lords (if they'll confess the right)</p>
<p> Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night;</p>
<p> Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise,</p>
<p> (For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice)</p>
<p> An Æra of new Crimes shall hence begin,</p>
<p> And <i>H——gg——r</i> chief Devil be of Sin;</p>
<p> No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace,</p>
<p> His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face;</p>
<p> When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew,</p>
<p> To this his last Resort the Hero flew;</p>
<p> So by degrees the Errant Knights of old</p>
<p> To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold;</p>
<p> A while content the common Road they trod,</p>
<p> 'Till some great Act at last confess the <i>God</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Now Painters <i>work</i>,—and dine, that starv'd before,</p>
<p> And Tallymen supply each needy Whore—</p>
<p> Fam'd <i>Covent-Garden</i> droops with mournful Look,</p>
<p> Nor can St. <i>James's</i> her great Rival brook:</p>
<p> Each <i>Duck</i> and D——ss, quacks to different Tunes,</p>
<p> One <i>claps her Wings</i> for Love, the other swoons;</p>
<p> Each <i>Vintner</i> storms and swears he is undone,</p>
<p> Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan;</p>
<p> <i>Porter</i> who us'd to search for needful Girls,</p>
<p> Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls,</p>
<p> Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs,</p>
<p> In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Spring-Garden</i> now alone does all invite</p>
<p> The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight:</p>
<p> No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown,</p>
<p> Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down:</p>
<p> Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work,</p>
<p> And Counsellors find out some modern Querk,</p>
<p> To raise the Guinea, and to see the <i>Grot</i>,</p>
<p> And 'mongst the <i>Belles</i> to slant it at <i>Ridolt</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie,</p>
<p> And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye:</p>
<p> Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears,</p>
<p> Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears;</p>
<p> Her Gown with <i>Tyrian</i> Dyes most richly stain'd,</p>
<p> Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>My Lord</i>, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three,</p>
<p> Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me,</p>
<p> The third dispose as you shall best adjudge,</p>
<p> Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge:</p>
<p> <i>Madam</i> elate, thinks she'll be kind to <i>Betty</i>,</p>
<p> To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City:</p>
<p> But <i>Stallion Tom</i>, who well knew how to scold,</p>
<p> And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold,</p>
<p> Swears if <i>he</i> has it not, he will reveal,</p>
<p> And to his Master tell a dismal Tale;</p>
<p> <i>Madam</i>, reluctant, gives him up the Paper;</p>
<p> He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Sylvia</i>, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux,</p>
<p> Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose,</p>
<p> By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all,</p>
<p> In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall,</p>
<p> And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too,</p>
<p> Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due;</p>
<p> At last a brisk young <i>Templar</i> full of Fire,</p>
<p> Whom Writs with <i>Money</i>, Wine with Love inspire,</p>
<p> Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms,</p>
<p> And for a Ticket flies into his Arms:</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> So every <i>dapper Fop</i> and <i>brawny Rake</i></p>
<p> Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make;</p>
<p> To Sin, the only certain Dedication,</p>
<p> To every gentle Mistress in the Nation,</p>
<p> From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion;</p>
<p> For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit,</p>
<p> But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis <i>forbidden Fruit</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Near</i> where <i>the Thames</i> in pleasant Windings runs,</p>
<p> <i>Near</i> where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns,</p>
<p> (Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains,</p>
<p> An Emblem terrible, but just retains.)</p>
<p> <i>Near</i> where fam'd <i>Vaux</i> was to have fled,</p>
<p> <i>With</i> lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed;</p>
<p> Whence some pretend to say by second Sight,</p>
<p> That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night,</p>
<p> 'Cause here the Fair will many <i>Matches light</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> lie shaded with verdant Trees,</p>
<p> That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze;</p>
<p> Embassadors like <i>Turks</i> hence send Express,</p>
<p> And <i>Ministers of State</i> like Devils dress—</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Should some wild <i>Indian</i> see the various Scene,</p>
<p> He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene,</p>
<p> And take for quite reverse this medley Farce,</p>
<p> Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a <i>Mars</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round,</p>
<p> And with just Measures beat the passive Ground,</p>
<p> Each one inclines to different Delights—</p>
<p> Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite;</p>
<p> The <i>Templar</i> wisely does his Care enroll,</p>
<p> Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls</p>
<p> Nor will return to join the giddy Rout,</p>
<p> 'Till he has eat and drank his <i>Guinea</i> out.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys;</p>
<p> The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys;</p>
<p> <i>Strephon</i> streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while,</p>
<p> By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile;</p>
<p> Soon they return more vig'rous than before,</p>
<p> Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> For <i>Mahomet</i> may dream of heavenly Stews,</p>
<p> Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews,</p>
<p> And shake with every Breath of Air serene,</p>
<p> As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen;</p>
<p> When if those past can shake their Height profound,</p>
<p> <i>Ridotto</i> sure will fell them to the Ground;</p>
<p> Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat,</p>
<p> And Pyramids and Trees together meet;</p>
<p> Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise,</p>
<p> And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies;</p>
<p> Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays,</p>
<p> And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space;</p>
<p> Each joins to make it noble, and excells</p>
<p> Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn,</p>
<p> All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun;</p>
<p> A thousand Lights their livid Flames display,</p>
<p> Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day:</p>
<p> Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place,</p>
<p> And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace;</p>
<p> To see the sad Effect and Power of Change,</p>
<p> Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range:</p>
<p> Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars,</p>
<p> And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires.</p>
<p> <i>Belles, Beaux</i>, and Sharpers here together play,</p>
<p> And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away;</p>
<p> And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross,</p>
<p> They then <i>Cornute</i> 'em to retrieve their Loss.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> <i>Dice</i> and Intrigue so mutually are blended,</p>
<p> That one begins as soon as t'other's ended:</p>
<p> A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair,</p>
<p> Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care;</p>
<p> Against her fate a smooth young Baron,</p>
<p> Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on,</p>
<p> A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist,</p>
<p> In all Things suited to the modern Taste;</p>
<p> And most polite, like all our modish Brood,</p>
<p> That is, a very Fool, who's very leud:</p>
<p> He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside,</p>
<p> Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide;</p>
<p> At last (as Bargains here are quickly made)</p>
<p> She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid;</p>
<p> She cries, a private Room's for them most fit,</p>
<p> For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit;</p>
<p> This only is the Place, where in a Trice,</p>
<p> Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice;</p>
<p> The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains,</p>
<p> And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> But who is he in Bower close confin'd,</p>
<p> With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind,</p>
<p> Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace,</p>
<p> It <i>Phoebus</i> is, or some of heavenly Race.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense,</p>
<p> Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P——ce.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before,</p>
<p> For my Mistake depended on his Whore,</p>
<p> One had <i>Latona</i> to'ther has <i>L——r</i>.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Next to the <i>Grotto</i> let us bend our Eye,</p>
<p> The <i>Grotto</i>, Patron of Iniquity,</p>
<p> Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade,</p>
<p> How many Whores have at your Roots been made;</p>
<p> Alas; how small the Number to what now,</p>
<p> This one, this happy Night, alone will shew</p>
<p> So many, that each conscious <i>Dryad</i> flees,</p>
<p> Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear,</p>
<p> Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear:</p>
<p> The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate,</p>
<p> And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate;</p>
<p> So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame,</p>
<p> And to preserve the Honour of her Name;</p>
<p> For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs,</p>
<p> At the Room Door her good <i>Mamma</i> appears,</p>
<p> Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure,</p>
<p> She charges her to keep her <i>Vessel pure</i>:</p>
<p> Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom,</p>
<p> <i>Mamma</i>, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room?</p>
<p> The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach,</p>
<p> Cries—<i>Well my Dear, don't take too much!</i></p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night,</p>
<p> And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite;</p>
<p> Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day,</p>
<p> Others in Gambols with their Wh——es to play;</p>
<p> The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull,</p>
<p> If by good Chance, she gets a <i>Dupe</i> or Cull;</p>
<p> On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more,</p>
<p> And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score.</p>
</div><div class="stanza">
<p> Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail,</p>
<p> And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale:</p>
<p> In <i>England</i> they have given new Arts a Rise,</p>
<p> And what in Science wants, increase in Vice,</p>
<p> And to be great as Angels when they fell,</p>
<p> (If not exceed) at <i>least</i> they equal <i>Hell</i>.</p>
</div></div>
<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;">
<a href="images/delightc.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightc.png"
alt="" /></a>
</div>
<hr class="full" />
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<h2>
<i>F I N I S.</i>
</h2>
<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div>
<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14005 ***</div>
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