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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/14005-0.txt b/14005-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..495b8f5 --- /dev/null +++ b/14005-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,716 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14005 *** + +THE LADIES DELIGHT. + + +CONTAINING, + +I. An Address to all _well provided_ HIBERNIANS; + +II. The ARBOR VITAE; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took +it's _Root_, and has spread its _Leaves_ over all Christendom; being +extremely useful to _Students_ in all _Branches_ of polite Literature. + +III. The Natural History of the ARBOR VITAE; or, The Tree of Life, in +Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript. + +IV. RIDOTTO al' FRESCO. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in +the famous _Spring Gardens_ at _Vaux-Hall_, under the Care of that +ingenious _Botanist_ Doctor H----GG----R. + + * * * * * + +_RES est severa Voluptas_. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_: + +Printed for _W. James_ in the _Strand_, 1732 + +[Price Six-pence.] + + * * * * * + + + + +AN ADDRESS TO ALL _Well provided_ HIBERNIANS. + + +_Gentlemen_, + +As Nature hath been so _very Indulgent_ to ye, as to stock your Gardens +with _Trees_ of the _largest Growth_, for which Reason ye are caress'd, +whilst Men of _less Parts_, tho' in _some Things_ more deserving, are +laugh'd at, and excluded all Company. + +As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with +Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that +increases too. Both Men and Beasts have _some-thing_ or another, for +which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in +this _Talent_, may securely laugh, while ye daily _grow_ in the Ladies +Favour, and spread your _Branches_ over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful +_Stick of Wood_ has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they +had _piss'd_ their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term +it) have by the Strength of true _Hibernian_ Prowess rais'd themselves +to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her _plac'd in a +HOT-BED_, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd +again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been +content to _spend_ the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the +World. + +Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize +their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may +still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your +_Green-houses_ be secure, nor your _young Plants_ be ever nipt in the +_Bud_, and that you may ever _stand_ against all _Cracks_, Storms, +Tempests, and _Eruptions_, + +_Is the hearty Wishes of Your's_, + +BOTANICUS. + + + + +THE Natural HISTORY OF THE TREE of LIFE. + + + The Tree of which I fain would sing, + If the kind Muse her Aid would bring, + Is _Arbor Vitae_; but in brief, + By vulgar Men call'd--_Tree of Life_. + + First for Description then, 'tis such + As needs must captivate you much. + In Stem most streight, of lovely Size, + With Head elate this Plant doth rise; + First bare--when it doth further shoot, + _A Tuft of Moss_ keeps warm the Root: + No _Lapland_ Muff has such a Fur, + No Skin so soft has any Cur; + This touch'd, alone the Heart can move, + Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love; + From this erect springs up the Stalk, + No Power can stop, or ought can baulk; + On Top an _Apex_ crowns the Tree, + As all Mankind may plainly see; + So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell, + Half gone, displays the _ruby Peel_ + Or like a Cherry bright and gay, + Just red'ning in the Month of _May_. + + As other Trees bear Fruit at Top, + And they who rob 'em must _climb up_; + This still more rare doth upward shoot, + But at the Bottom bears its Fruit, + And they who'd reap its Virtues strong, + Need but to lay 'em _all along_, + _Ope' wide, their Mouths_, and they'll receive + The _Fruit of Life_, and eat, and live: + Not the fair Tree that _India_ bears, + All over Spice both Head and Ears, + Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs + Have granted to this Tree of ours: + That in good Ale its Power boasts, + And ours has _Nutmeg's_ fit for _Toasts_ + And Bags by _Nature_ planted grow, + To keep 'em from all Winds that blow. + + The Rise is slow, and by Degrees, + Both Fruits and Tree itself increase + So slow, that ten Years scarce produce + _Six Inches_ good and fit for Use; + But fifteen ripen well the Fruit, + And add a _viscous Balm_ into't; + Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd, + Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd; + As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain, + So does this Shrub _its Juice_ retain, + Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe, + Is justly call'd the _flow'ring Shrub_. + + In every Nation springs this Tree, + In some confin'd; in others more free; + In _England_, 'tis of mod'rate Size, + And oft' does _nine full inches_ rise: + But _Ireland_, tho' in Soil most poor, + Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store; + And sent o'er hither, it is such + As does exceed our own by much, + And gets the Owner many a _Farthing_, + For _Ladies_ love it in their _Garden_. + + That it's a _Tree_ right _sensitive_, + Denies no honest Man alive: + Tho' as one _shrinks_ and will not stand, + This _rises_ at a _Lady's_ Hand, + And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd, + As others _fall_ when they are _pok'd_. + + When nipping Cold bites off our Nose, + And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose, + In _Hot-beds_ only then 'twill live, + And only when-well warm'd will thrive; + But when warm Summer does appear, + 'Twill _stand_ all _brunts_ in open Air; + Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat, + And sink with Nurture too replete; + Then _Birchen Twigs_, if right apply'd + To Back, Fore-part, or either Side---- + Support a while, _and keep it up_, + Tho' soon again the Plant will droop. + + _Motteux_ had one very untow'rd, + And thought to mend it with a Cord, + But _kill'd the Tree_, yet gain'd his _End_, + Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd. + + Others have thought to mend the Root, + By taking from the Tree its Fruit; + But in the _Nutmegs_ lies the Breed, + And when they're gone we lose the _Seed_; + Tho' Virtuosi still have don't, + And always found it yield Accompt; + For _Hey----gg----r_ then buys the _Wood_, + And of it makes us Whistles good, + Which yearly from _Italia_ sent, + Here answers his and our Intent. + + Others too curious will _innoc_ + _Ulate_ their Plants on _Medlars_ Stock, + (_i.e._ as Tongues in Vulgar pass, + They graft it on an _Open-arse_;) + But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all, + Say this is most _unnatural_. + + That Soil is certainly the best, + Whence first it sprang, and first increast, + In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm, + With Hills to ward off every Storm, + Where Water salt runs trickling down, + And _Tendrils_ lie o'er all the Ground, + Such as the Tree itself shoots forth, + And better if't be tow'rds the _North_; + When such a Piece of Ground you see, + If in the midst a Pit there be, + There plant it deep unto the _Root_, + And never fear----you'll soon have _Fruit_. + + Tho' let young _Botanists_ beware + Of Insects that oft' harbour there, + Which 'mongst the tender _Fibres_ breed, + And if not kill'd, eat up the _Seed_: + Good _Humphrey Bowen_ gives another, + (As each Man should assist his Brother) + That is, to take especial Care + Not to set _Vulvaria_ near; + Of them two Sorts are frequent found, + One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground; + And many a Plant thriving and tall, + Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall. + + But _Misan_'s taken this just napping, + And _against all Things that can happen_ + Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some + How to make the deadliest _Wholesome_; + These venomous _Vulvaria_ grow + At _Vaux-Hall_ and _St. James's_ too; + Nay, and about the Tree so leap, + That very few good Plants can 'scape. + + +_The Names and Virtues_ + + + Old Mother _D'Acier_, in her Notes + _On Homer_, some hard _Greek_ Word quotes, + Calls it _Nep, nep_,--I know not what, + And says it is the very Plant that + The tawny Queen to _Helen_ sent, + To cure her Griefs at all Event. + + Great _Milton's Murd'rer_ says it is + The fam'd _Machaera Herculis_, + And proves from some old _Grecian_ Poet, + So plain that all Men sure must know it, + That of this _Tree_ the Club was made, + With which he overcame ('tis said) + _Thespius_' Daughters, all grown wild, + And _fifty Mad-Women_ made _mild_; + Which very Club--(it makes one Laugh) + _Omphale_ turn'd into a Distaff. + Nay, the _Hesperian_ Tree was this, + As shew the _Poma Veneris_; + These Apples doubtless were the Fruit + That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute, + To make 'em all _stark-naked_ stand, + While _Paris_ held it in his Hand, + And _chuck'd_ it into _Venus_' Mouth, + 'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth. + + The Virtues are of such great Note, + That twenty Volumes might be wrote; + The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures, + And purges thro' all corporal Pores; + If any Maid be sick, or faint + Of Love, or Father's close Constraint, + One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm + Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm; + 'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause, + And in the Belly make strange Flaws, + But a few Moons will make 'em sound, + And safely fetch the Swelling down. + + Not Saffron chears the Heart like this, + Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss: + When Wife and Husband do fall out, + And both remain in sullen pout, + This brings them to themselves again, + And fast unites the broken Chain; + Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease + And gives at least a _Night of Peace_. + + This Rarity may now be seen + In _Lambeth_, at a Garden Green, + _Bowen_ his Name, who in high Tone, + Calls it the _Tree of Silver Spoon_, + Which all the Maids of curious Eyes + May there behold of _largest_ Size. + + + + + +THE Natural HISTORY OF THE TREE of LIFE. + +_The_ DESCRIPTION _and_ PLACE. + + +The _Tree of Life_ is a _succulent Plant_, consisting of one only strait +stem, on the top of which is a _Pistillum_ or _Apex_, at some times +_Glandiform_ and resembling a _May-Cherry_, tho' at others, more like +the _Nut_ of the _Avellana_ or _Filbeard-Tree_. + +Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are +usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding +that of an ordinary _Nutmeg_ both contained in one strong _Siliqua_, or +purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly +thick set with numerous _Fibrilla_ or _capillary Tendrils_. + +The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection, +rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits +coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy _succus_, which +being from time to time discharged at the _Pistillum_ is mostly bestow'd +upon the open _Calyx's_ of the _Frutex Vulvaria_ or _flow'ring Shrub_ +usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a +wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. _Richard +Bradley_ is of opinion, the _Frutex_ is hereby impregnated, and then +first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this _Succus_ the _Farina +foecundans_ of the plant: and the learned _Leonhard Fucksius_, in his +_Historia Stirpium insigniorum_, observes the greatest sympathy between +this tree and shrub, _They are_, says he, _of the same genus, and do +best in the same bed, the_ Vulvaria _itself being indeed no other than +a_ female Arbor Vitae. + +It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than +others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in +_England_ rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that +chiefly in _Kent_, whereas in _Ireland_, it comes to far greater +dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon +it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good +houses with single plants of this sort. + +As the _Irish_ soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad +for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be +about _Harborough_ and the _Forest of Sherard_. + +The stem seems to be of the _sensitive_ tribe, tho' herein differing +from the more common _Sensitives_; that whereas they are known to shrink +and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on +the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled. + +In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in +warmer weather they stand well in the open air. + +In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid, +and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of +splintering them up with _birchen Twigs_, which has seem'd of some +service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the +same or a more drooping state than before. + +The late ingenious Mr. _Motteux_ thought of restoring a fine plant he +had in this condition, by tying it up with a _Tomex_ or cord made of the +bark of the _Vitex_, or _Hempen-Tree_: but whether he made the ligature +too straight, or that the nature of the _Vitex_ is really in itself +pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this +universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment. + +Some _Virtuosi_ have thought of improving their trees for some purposes, +by taking off the _Nutmegs_, which is however a bad way; they never +_seed_ after, and are good for little more than making whistles of, +which are imported every year from _Italy_, and sell indeed at a good +price. + +Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants +on the stock of the _Medlar_ and that with a manure of _human Ordure_, +but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to +a _very ill end_ by such management. + +The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that +is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by +their producing the same sort of _Tendrils_ as are observ'd about the +roots of the _Arbor_ itself. Some cautions however are very necessary, +especially to young _Botanists_; and first, to be very diligent in +keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not, +unlike a _Morpione_ or _Cimex_, being very subject to breed amongst the +_Fibrillae_, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves +often of very dangerous consequence. + +Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and +judicious Botanist Mr. _Humphrey Bowen_, to beware of a poisonous +species of _Vulvaria_, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and +which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their +well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of +_la Quintinye_, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience, +some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and +he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous +shrub, become _porrose, scabiose_, and cover'd with _fungous +Excrescences_ not unlike the fruits of the _Ficus sylvestris_ in which +case the _succus_ also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree +itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had +hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through +a whole Plantation. + +These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd +the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out +remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the +celebrated _Dr. Misaubin_ who from his profound knowledge in Botany has +composed a most elaborate work upon _all the things that can happen_, +both to the _Arbor Vitae_ and _Vulvaria also_: There he has taught a +certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even +found out a way of making the most venomous _Vulvaria_ itself wholesome, +which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him. + +These venomous _Vulvaria_ are but too common in most gardens about +_London_; there are many in St. _James's Park_, and more in the +celebrated gardens at _Vaux-hall_ over the water. + + +_The_ NAMES _and_ VIRTUES. + +Besides the common name of _Arbor Vitae_, a very learned Philosopher +and great Divine would have it call'd, _Arbor Scientiae boni & mali_; +believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the +middle of the garden of _Eden_, and whose fruits were so alluring to +our first mother. Others would have it call'd the _Mandrake_ of _Leah_, +persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren _Rachel_ +a joyful mother of children. + +The learned _Madame D'Acier_ in her notes upon _Homer_ contends it +should be called _Nepenthes_. She gives many reasons why it certainly +is that very plant, whose fruits the _Egyptian_ queen recommended to +_Helen_, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which +She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of +as a _Panacaea_ upon all occasions. + +The great Dr. _Bentley_ calls it more than once _Machaera Herculis_, +having proved out of the fragments of a _Greek_ Poet, that of this tree +was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the +fifty wild daughters of _Thespius_, but which Queen _Omphale_ afterwards +reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated _Hesperian_ +trees were of this sort; and the very name of _Poma Veneris_, frequently +given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these +were really the _Apples_ for which three Goddesses contended in so warm +a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest +title. + +The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The +juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of +the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. +It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those +being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few +Months. + +It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and +discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and +loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this +reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest +empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most +destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been +produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the +chief of the contending parties. + +If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in +good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr _Bowen's_ +garden at _Lambeth_, who calls it _The Silver-Spoon Tree_; and is at all +times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it. + + + + +THE Ridotto al' Fresco, A POEM. + + + What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain, + To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain-- + Now _Balls_, now _Masquerades_ his Care employ, + And _Play_ and Park alternately give Joy-- + Industrious _H----gg----r_, whose magick Brains + Still in their Shell the _Recipe_ retains + Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light + And helps the lab'ring Swain to _Celia's_ Sight; + For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread-- + And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,--and _Bread_; + For this the _Assembly's_ fix'd; and the huge Dome + Swells with the Lady's Vows, _when the Stake's gone_.-- + For this he forms the vicious Masquerade, + Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade, + For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray, + And Pickpockets too, _hail_ the joyful Day-- + + But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth, + Who to _Ridotto_ gave an _English_ Birth; + To him let every Templar bend the Knee, + Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee: + Let _Drury-Lane_ eternal Columns raise, + And every wanton Wife resound his Praise; + Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey, + And to their grand Procurer Homage pay. + + No more shall _Duchesses_ to _Bath_ repair, + Or fly to _Tunbridge_ to procure an Heir; + _Spring-Gardens_ can supply their every Want, + For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant, + And future Lords (if they'll confess the right) + Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night; + Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise, + (For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice) + An Aera of new Crimes shall hence begin, + And _H----gg----r_ chief Devil be of Sin; + No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace, + His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face; + When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew, + To this his last Resort the Hero flew; + So by degrees the Errant Knights of old + To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold; + A while content the common Road they trod, + 'Till some great Act at last confess the _God_. + + Now Painters _work_,--and dine, that starv'd before, + And Tallymen supply each needy Whore-- + Fam'd _Covent-Garden_ droops with mournful Look, + Nor can St. _James's_ her great Rival brook: + Each _Duck_ and D----ss, quacks to different Tunes, + One _claps her Wings_ for Love, the other swoons; + Each _Vintner_ storms and swears he is undone, + Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan; + _Porter_ who us'd to search for needful Girls, + Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls, + Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs, + In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice. + + _Spring-Garden_ now alone does all invite + The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight: + No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown, + Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down: + Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work, + And Counsellors find out some modern Querk, + To raise the Guinea, and to see the _Grot_, + And 'mongst the _Belles_ to slant it at _Ridolt_. + + Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie, + And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye: + Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears, + Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears; + Her Gown with _Tyrian_ Dyes most richly stain'd, + Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd. + + _My Lord_, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three, + Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me, + The third dispose as you shall best adjudge, + Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge: + _Madam_ elate, thinks she'll be kind to _Betty_, + To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City: + But _Stallion Tom_, who well knew how to scold, + And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold, + Swears if _he_ has it not, he will reveal, + And to his Master tell a dismal Tale; + _Madam_, reluctant, gives him up the Paper; + He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper. + + _Sylvia_, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux, + Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose, + By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all, + In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall, + And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too, + Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due; + At last a brisk young _Templar_ full of Fire, + Whom Writs with _Money_, Wine with Love inspire, + Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms, + And for a Ticket flies into his Arms: + + So every _dapper Fop_ and _brawny Rake_ + Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make; + To Sin, the only certain Dedication, + To every gentle Mistress in the Nation, + From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion; + For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit, + But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis _forbidden Fruit_. + + _Near_ where _the Thames_ in pleasant Windings runs, + _Near_ where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns, + (Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains, + An Emblem terrible, but just retains.) + _Near_ where fam'd _Vaux_ was to have fled, + _With_ lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed; + Whence some pretend to say by second Sight, + That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night, + 'Cause here the Fair will many _Matches light_. + + _Spring-Gardens_ lie shaded with verdant Trees, + That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze; + Embassadors like _Turks_ hence send Express, + And _Ministers of State_ like Devils dress-- + + Should some wild _Indian_ see the various Scene, + He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene, + And take for quite reverse this medley Farce, + Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a _Mars_. + + But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round, + And with just Measures beat the passive Ground, + Each one inclines to different Delights-- + Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite; + The _Templar_ wisely does his Care enroll, + Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls + Nor will return to join the giddy Rout, + 'Till he has eat and drank his _Guinea_ out. + + Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys; + The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys; + _Strephon_ streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while, + By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile; + Soon they return more vig'rous than before, + Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore. + + For _Mahomet_ may dream of heavenly Stews, + Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews, + And shake with every Breath of Air serene, + As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen; + When if those past can shake their Height profound, + _Ridotto_ sure will fell them to the Ground; + Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat, + And Pyramids and Trees together meet; + Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise, + And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies; + Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays, + And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space; + Each joins to make it noble, and excells + Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else. + + But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn, + All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun; + A thousand Lights their livid Flames display, + Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day: + Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place, + And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace; + To see the sad Effect and Power of Change, + Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range: + Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars, + And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires. + _Belles, Beaux_, and Sharpers here together play, + And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away; + And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross, + They then _Cornute_ 'em to retrieve their Loss. + + _Dice_ and Intrigue so mutually are blended, + That one begins as soon as t'other's ended: + A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair, + Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care; + Against her fate a smooth young Baron, + Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on, + A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist, + In all Things suited to the modern Taste; + And most polite, like all our modish Brood, + That is, a very Fool, who's very leud: + He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside, + Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide; + At last (as Bargains here are quickly made) + She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid; + She cries, a private Room's for them most fit, + For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit; + This only is the Place, where in a Trice, + Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice; + The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains, + And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again. + + But who is he in Bower close confin'd, + With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind, + Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace, + It _Phoebus_ is, or some of heavenly Race. + + A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense, + Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P----ce. + + Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before, + For my Mistake depended on his Whore, + One had _Latona_ to'ther has _L----r_. + + Next to the _Grotto_ let us bend our Eye, + The _Grotto_, Patron of Iniquity, + Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade, + How many Whores have at your Roots been made; + Alas; how small the Number to what now, + This one, this happy Night, alone will shew + So many, that each conscious _Dryad_ flees, + Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees. + + Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear, + Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear: + The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate, + And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate; + So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame, + And to preserve the Honour of her Name; + For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs, + At the Room Door her good _Mamma_ appears, + Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure, + She charges her to keep her _Vessel pure_: + Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom, + _Mamma_, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room? + The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach, + Cries--_Well my Dear, don't take too much!_ + + Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night, + And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite; + Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day, + Others in Gambols with their Wh----es to play; + The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull, + If by good Chance, she gets a _Dupe_ or Cull; + On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more, + And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score. + + Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail, + And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale: + In _England_ they have given new Arts a Rise, + And what in Science wants, increase in Vice, + And to be great as Angels when they fell, + (If not exceed) at _least_ they equal _Hell_. + + + + +_FINIS._ + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Ladies Delight, by Anonymous + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14005 *** diff --git a/14005-h/14005-h.htm b/14005-h/14005-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9396ab6 --- /dev/null +++ b/14005-h/14005-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,883 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> +<meta content="pg2html (binary v0.18a)" + name="generator" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of + The Ladies Delight, + by Anonymous. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[*/ + <!-- + body { margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%; } + p { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { text-align: center; } + hr { width: 50%; } + hr.full { width: 100%; } + .foot { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 85%; } + .poem { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left; } + .poem .stanza { margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em; } + .poem p { margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em; } + .poem p.i2 { margin-left: 2em; } + .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 80%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + .figure {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em; margin: auto;} + .figure img {border: none;} + center { padding: 0.8em;} +/*]]>*/ + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14005 ***</div> + +<div style="height: 8em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;"> +L a d i e s D e l i g h t</span>.</h1> + +<h2> +CONTAINING, +</h2> +<div style="margin-left:15%;margin-right:15%;"> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +I. An Address to all <i>well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>; +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +II. The <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took +it's <i>Root</i>, and has spread its <i>Leaves</i> over all Christendom; being +extremely useful to <i>Students</i> in all <i>Branches</i> of polite Literature. +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +III. The Natural History of the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, The Tree of Life, in +Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript. +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +IV. <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in +the famous <i>Spring Gardens</i> at <i>Vaux-Hall</i>, under the Care of that +ingenious <i>Botanist</i> Doctor <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">H——gg——r</span>. +</p> + +<center> +<hr /> +<i>RES est severa Voluptas</i>. +<hr /> +</center> + +<center> +<small> +<i>LONDON</i>: +<br /> +Printed for <i>W. James</i> in the <i>Strand</i>, 1732 +</small> +<br /><br /> +[Price Six-pence.] +</center> +</div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight1.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>AN</h2> +<h1>A D D R E S S</h1> +<h2> TO ALL<br /> <i>Well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>.</h2> + +<p> +<i>Gentlemen</i>, +</p> + + +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;"> +<a href="images/delight2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight2.png" +alt="A" /></a> +</div> +<p style="text-indent: -1em;">S Nature hath been so <i>very Indulgent</i> to ye, as to stock your Gardens +with <i>Trees</i> of the <i>largest Growth</i>, for which Reason ye are caress'd, +whilst Men of <i>less Parts</i>, tho' in <i>some Things</i> more deserving, are +laugh'd at, and excluded all Company. +</p> +<p> +As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with +Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that +increases too. Both Men and Beasts have <i>some-thing</i> or another, for +which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in +this <i>Talent</i>, may securely laugh, while ye daily <i>grow</i> in the Ladies +Favour, and spread your <i>Branches</i> over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful +<i>Stick of Wood</i> has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they +had <i>piss'd</i> their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term +it) have by the Strength of true <i>Hibernian</i> Prowess rais'd themselves +to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her <i>plac'd in a +HOT-BED</i>, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd +again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been +content to <i>spend</i> the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the +World. +</p> +<p> +Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize +their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may +still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your +<i>Green-houses</i> be secure, nor your <i>young Plants</i> be ever nipt in the +<i>Bud</i>, and that you may ever <i>stand</i> against all <i>Cracks</i>, Storms, +Tempests, and <i>Eruptions</i>, +</p> +<center> +<i>Is the hearty Wishes of Your's</i>, +</center> +<p style="text-align: right;"> +BOTANICUS. +</p> + + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight3.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1> +<h2>OF THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;"> +<a href="images/delight4.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight4.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> + <p> THE Tree of which I fain would sing,</p> + <p> If the kind Muse her Aid would bring,</p> + <p> Is <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>; but in brief,</p> + <p> By vulgar Men call'd—<i>Tree of Life</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> First for Description then, 'tis such</p> + <p> As needs must captivate you much.</p> + <p> In Stem most streight, of lovely Size,</p> + <p> With Head elate this Plant doth rise;</p> + <p> First bare—when it doth further shoot,</p> + <p> <i>A Tuft of Moss</i> keeps warm the Root:</p> + <p> No <i>Lapland</i> Muff has such a Fur,</p> + <p> No Skin so soft has any Cur;</p> + <p> This touch'd, alone the Heart can move,</p> + <p> Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love;</p> + <p> From this erect springs up the Stalk,</p> + <p> No Power can stop, or ought can baulk;</p> + <p> On Top an <i>Apex</i> crowns the Tree,</p> + <p> As all Mankind may plainly see;</p> + <p> So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell,</p> + <p> Half gone, displays the <i>ruby Peel</i></p> + <p> Or like a Cherry bright and gay,</p> + <p> Just red'ning in the Month of <i>May</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> As other Trees bear Fruit at Top,</p> + <p> And they who rob 'em must <i>climb up</i>;</p> + <p> This still more rare doth upward shoot,</p> + <p> But at the Bottom bears its Fruit,</p> + <p> And they who'd reap its Virtues strong,</p> + <p> Need but to lay 'em <i>all along</i>,</p> + <p> <i>Ope' wide, their Mouths</i>, and they'll receive</p> + <p> The <i>Fruit of Life</i>, and eat, and live:</p> + <p> Not the fair Tree that <i>India</i> bears,</p> + <p> All over Spice both Head and Ears,</p> + <p> Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs</p> + <p> Have granted to this Tree of ours:</p> + <p> That in good Ale its Power boasts,</p> + <p> And ours has <i>Nutmeg's</i> fit for <i>Toasts</i></p> + <p> And Bags by <i>Nature</i> planted grow,</p> + <p> To keep 'em from all Winds that blow.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> The Rise is slow, and by Degrees,</p> + <p> Both Fruits and Tree itself increase</p> + <p> So slow, that ten Years scarce produce</p> + <p> <i>Six Inches</i> good and fit for Use;</p> + <p> But fifteen ripen well the Fruit,</p> + <p> And add a <i>viscous Balm</i> into't;</p> + <p> Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd,</p> + <p> Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd;</p> + <p> As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain,</p> + <p> So does this Shrub <i>its Juice</i> retain,</p> + <p> Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe,</p> + <p> Is justly call'd the <i>flow'ring Shrub</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> In every Nation springs this Tree,</p> + <p> In some confin'd; in others more free;</p> + <p> In <i>England</i>, 'tis of mod'rate Size,</p> + <p> And oft' does <i>nine full inches</i> rise:</p> + <p> But <i>Ireland</i>, tho' in Soil most poor,</p> + <p> Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store;</p> + <p> And sent o'er hither, it is such</p> + <p> As does exceed our own by much,</p> + <p> And gets the Owner many a <i>Farthing</i>,</p> + <p> For <i>Ladies</i> love it in their <i>Garden</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> That it's a <i>Tree</i> right <i>sensitive</i>,</p> + <p> Denies no honest Man alive:</p> + <p> Tho' as one <i>shrinks</i> and will not stand,</p> + <p> This <i>rises</i> at a <i>Lady's</i> Hand,</p> + <p> And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd,</p> + <p> As others <i>fall</i> when they are <i>pok'd</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> When nipping Cold bites off our Nose,</p> + <p> And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose,</p> + <p> In <i>Hot-beds</i> only then 'twill live,</p> + <p> And only when-well warm'd will thrive;</p> + <p> But when warm Summer does appear,</p> + <p> 'Twill <i>stand</i> all <i>brunts</i> in open Air;</p> + <p> Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat,</p> + <p> And sink with Nurture too replete;</p> + <p> Then <i>Birchen Twigs</i>, if right apply'd</p> + <p> To Back, Fore-part, or either Side——</p> + <p> Support a while, <i>and keep it up</i>,</p> + <p> Tho' soon again the Plant will droop.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Motteux</i> had one very untow'rd,</p> + <p> And thought to mend it with a Cord,</p> + <p> But <i>kill'd the Tree</i>, yet gain'd his <i>End</i>,</p> + <p> Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Others have thought to mend the Root,</p> + <p> By taking from the Tree its Fruit;</p> + <p> But in the <i>Nutmegs</i> lies the Breed,</p> + <p> And when they're gone we lose the <i>Seed</i>;</p> + <p> Tho' Virtuosi still have don't,</p> + <p> And always found it yield Accompt;</p> + <p> For <i>Hey——gg——r</i> then buys the <i>Wood</i>,</p> + <p> And of it makes us Whistles good,</p> + <p> Which yearly from <i>Italia</i> sent,</p> + <p> Here answers his and our Intent.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Others too curious will <i>innoc</i></p> + <p> <i>Ulate</i> their Plants on <i>Medlars</i> Stock,</p> + <p> (<i>i.e.</i> as Tongues in Vulgar pass,</p> + <p> They graft it on an <i>Open-arse</i>;)</p> + <p> But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all,</p> + <p> Say this is most <i>unnatural</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> That Soil is certainly the best,</p> + <p> Whence first it sprang, and first increast,</p> + <p> In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm,</p> + <p> With Hills to ward off every Storm,</p> + <p> Where Water salt runs trickling down,</p> + <p> And <i>Tendrils</i> lie o'er all the Ground,</p> + <p> Such as the Tree itself shoots forth,</p> + <p> And better if't be tow'rds the <i>North</i>;</p> + <p> When such a Piece of Ground you see,</p> + <p> If in the midst a Pit there be,</p> + <p> There plant it deep unto the <i>Root</i>,</p> + <p> And never fear——you'll soon have <i>Fruit</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Tho' let young <i>Botanists</i> beware</p> + <p> Of Insects that oft' harbour there,</p> + <p> Which 'mongst the tender <i>Fibres</i> breed,</p> + <p> And if not kill'd, eat up the <i>Seed</i>:</p> + <p> Good <i>Humphrey Bowen</i> gives another,</p> + <p> (As each Man should assist his Brother)</p> + <p> That is, to take especial Care</p> + <p> Not to set <i>Vulvaria</i> near;</p> + <p> Of them two Sorts are frequent found,</p> + <p> One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground;</p> + <p> And many a Plant thriving and tall,</p> + <p> Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But <i>Misan</i>'s taken this just napping,</p> + <p> And <i>against all Things that can happen</i></p> + <p> Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some</p> + <p> How to make the deadliest <i>Wholesome</i>;</p> + <p> These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> grow</p> + <p> At <i>Vaux-Hall</i> and <i>St. James's</i> too;</p> + <p> Nay, and about the Tree so leap,</p> + <p> That very few good Plants can 'scape.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight5.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight5.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<h2> +<i>The Names and Virtues</i> +</h2> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> + <p> Old Mother <i>D'Acier</i>, in her Notes</p> + <p> <i>On Homer</i>, some hard <i>Greek</i> Word quotes,</p> + <p> Calls it <i>Nep, nep</i>,—I know not what,</p> + <p> And says it is the very Plant that</p> + <p> The tawny Queen to <i>Helen</i> sent,</p> + <p> To cure her Griefs at all Event.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Great <i>Milton's Murd'rer</i> says it is</p> + <p> The fam'd <i>Machæra Herculis</i>,</p> + <p> And proves from some old <i>Grecian</i> Poet,</p> + <p> So plain that all Men sure must know it,</p> + <p> That of this <i>Tree</i> the Club was made,</p> + <p> With which he overcame ('tis said)</p> + <p> <i>Thespius</i>' Daughters, all grown wild,</p> + <p> And <i>fifty Mad-Women</i> made <i>mild</i>;</p> + <p> Which very Club—(it makes one Laugh)</p> + <p> <i>Omphale</i> turn'd into a Distaff.</p> + <p> Nay, the <i>Hesperian</i> Tree was this,</p> + <p> As shew the <i>Poma Veneris</i>;</p> + <p> These Apples doubtless were the Fruit</p> + <p> That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute,</p> + <p> To make 'em all <i>stark-naked</i> stand,</p> + <p> While <i>Paris</i> held it in his Hand,</p> + <p> And <i>chuck'd</i> it into <i>Venus</i>' Mouth,</p> + <p> 'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> The Virtues are of such great Note,</p> + <p> That twenty Volumes might be wrote;</p> + <p> The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures,</p> + <p> And purges thro' all corporal Pores;</p> + <p> If any Maid be sick, or faint</p> + <p> Of Love, or Father's close Constraint,</p> + <p> One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm</p> + <p> Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm;</p> + <p> 'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause,</p> + <p> And in the Belly make strange Flaws,</p> + <p> But a few Moons will make 'em sound,</p> + <p> And safely fetch the Swelling down.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Not Saffron chears the Heart like this,</p> + <p> Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss:</p> + <p> When Wife and Husband do fall out,</p> + <p> And both remain in sullen pout,</p> + <p> This brings them to themselves again,</p> + <p> And fast unites the broken Chain;</p> + <p> Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease</p> + <p> And gives at least a <i>Night of Peace</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> This Rarity may now be seen</p> + <p> In <i>Lambeth</i>, at a Garden Green,</p> + <p> <i>Bowen</i> his Name, who in high Tone,</p> + <p> Calls it the <i>Tree of Silver Spoon</i>,</p> + <p> Which all the Maids of curious Eyes</p> + <p> May there behold of <i>largest</i> Size.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delight6.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight6.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight7.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight7.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1> +<h2>OF THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1> + +<h3> + <i>The</i> DESCRIPTION <i>and</i> PLACE. +</h3> + +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;"> +<a href="images/delight8.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight8.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> +<p style="text-indent: -1em;">HE <i>Tree of Life</i> is a <i>succulent Plant</i>, consisting of one only strait +stem, on the top of which is a <i>Pistillum</i> or <i>Apex</i>, at some times +<i>Glandiform</i> and resembling a <i>May-Cherry</i>, tho' at others, more like +the <i>Nut</i> of the <i>Avellana</i> or <i>Filbeard-Tree</i>. +</p> +<p> +Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are +usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding +that of an ordinary <i>Nutmeg</i> both contained in one strong <i>Siliqua</i>, or +purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly +thick set with numerous <i>Fibrilla</i> or <i>capillary Tendrils</i>. +</p> +<p> +The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection, +rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits +coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy <i>succus</i>, which +being from time to time discharged at the <i>Pistillum</i> is mostly bestow'd +upon the open <i>Calyx's</i> of the <i>Frutex Vulvaria</i> or <i>flow'ring Shrub</i> +usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a +wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. <i>Richard +Bradley</i> is of opinion, the <i>Frutex</i> is hereby impregnated, and then +first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this <i>Succus</i> the <i>Farina +foecundans</i> of the plant: and the learned <i>Leonhard Fucksius</i>, in his +<i>Historia Stirpium insigniorum</i>, observes the greatest sympathy between +this tree and shrub, <i>They are</i>, says he, <i>of the same genus, and do +best in the same bed, the</i> Vulvaria <i>itself being indeed no other than +a</i> female Arbor Vitæ. +</p> +<p> +It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than +others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in +<i>England</i> rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that +chiefly in <i>Kent</i>, whereas in <i>Ireland</i>, it comes to far greater +dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon +it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good +houses with single plants of this sort. +</p> +<p> +As the <i>Irish</i> soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad +for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be +about <i>Harborough</i> and the <i>Forest of Sherard</i>. +</p> +<p> +The stem seems to be of the <i>sensitive</i> tribe, tho' herein differing +from the more common <i>Sensitives</i>; that whereas they are known to shrink +and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on +the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled. +</p> +<p> +In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in +warmer weather they stand well in the open air. +</p> +<p> +In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid, +and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of +splintering them up with <i>birchen Twigs</i>, which has seem'd of some +service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the +same or a more drooping state than before. +</p> +<p> +The late ingenious Mr. <i>Motteux</i> thought of restoring a fine plant he +had in this condition, by tying it up with a <i>Tomex</i> or cord made of the +bark of the <i>Vitex</i>, or <i>Hempen-Tree</i>: but whether he made the ligature +too straight, or that the nature of the <i>Vitex</i> is really in itself +pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this +universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment. +</p> +<p> +Some <i>Virtuosi</i> have thought of improving their trees for some purposes, +by taking off the <i>Nutmegs</i>, which is however a bad way; they never +<i>seed</i> after, and are good for little more than making whistles of, +which are imported every year from <i>Italy</i>, and sell indeed at a good +price. +</p> +<p> +Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants +on the stock of the <i>Medlar</i> and that with a manure of <i>human Ordure</i>, +but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to +a <i>very ill end</i> by such management. +</p> +<p> +The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that +is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by +their producing the same sort of <i>Tendrils</i> as are observ'd about the +roots of the <i>Arbor</i> itself. Some cautions however are very necessary, +especially to young <i>Botanists</i>; and first, to be very diligent in +keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not, +unlike a <i>Morpione</i> or <i>Cimex</i>, being very subject to breed amongst the +<i>Fibrillæ</i>, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves +often of very dangerous consequence. +</p> +<p> +Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and +judicious Botanist Mr. <i>Humphrey Bowen</i>, to beware of a poisonous +species of <i>Vulvaria</i>, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and +which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their +well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of +<i>la Quintinye</i>, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience, +some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and +he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous +shrub, become <i>porrose, scabiose</i>, and cover'd with <i>fungous +Excrescences</i> not unlike the fruits of the <i>Ficus sylvestris</i> in which +case the <i>succus</i> also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree +itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had +hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through +a whole Plantation. +</p> +<p> +These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd +the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out +remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the +celebrated <i>Dr. Misaubin</i> who from his profound knowledge in Botany has +composed a most elaborate work upon <i>all the things that can happen</i>, +both to the <i>Arbor Vitæ</i> and <i>Vulvaria also</i>: There he has taught a +certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even +found out a way of making the most venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> itself wholesome, +which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him. +</p> +<p> +These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> are but too common in most gardens about +<i>London</i>; there are many in St. <i>James's Park</i>, and more in the +celebrated gardens at <i>Vaux-hall</i> over the water. +</p> +<h3> +<i>The</i> NAMES <i>and</i> VIRTUES. +</h3> +<p> +Besides the common name of <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>, a very learned Philosopher +and great Divine would have it call'd, <i>Arbor Scientiæ boni & mali</i>; +believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the +middle of the garden of <i>Eden</i>, and whose fruits were so alluring to +our first mother. Others would have it call'd the <i>Mandrake</i> of <i>Leah</i>, +persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren <i>Rachel</i> +a joyful mother of children. +</p> +<p> +The learned <i>Madame D'Acier</i> in her notes upon <i>Homer</i> contends it +should be called <i>Nepenthes</i>. She gives many reasons why it certainly +is that very plant, whose fruits the <i>Egyptian</i> queen recommended to +<i>Helen</i>, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which +She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of +as a <i>Panacæa</i> upon all occasions. +</p> +<p> +The great Dr. <i>Bentley</i> calls it more than once <i>Machæra Herculis</i>, +having proved out of the fragments of a <i>Greek</i> Poet, that of this tree +was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the +fifty wild daughters of <i>Thespius</i>, but which Queen <i>Omphale</i> afterwards +reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated <i>Hesperian</i> +trees were of this sort; and the very name of <i>Poma Veneris</i>, frequently +given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these +were really the <i>Apples</i> for which three Goddesses contended in so warm +a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest +title. +</p> +<p> +The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The +juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of +the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. +It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those +being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few +Months. +</p> +<p> +It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and +discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and +loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this +reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest +empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most +destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been +produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the +chief of the contending parties. +</p> +<p> +If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in +good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr <i>Bowen's</i> +garden at <i>Lambeth</i>, who calls it <i>The Silver-Spoon Tree</i>; and is at all +times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it. +</p> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delight9.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight9.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delighta.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delighta.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>,</h1> +<h2>A</h2> +<h1>P O E M.</h1> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;"> +<a href="images/delightb.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightb.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> + <p> What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain,</p> + <p> To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain—</p> + <p> Now <i>Balls</i>, now <i>Masquerades</i> his Care employ,</p> + <p> And <i>Play</i> and Park alternately give Joy—</p> + <p> Industrious <i>H——gg——r</i>, whose magick Brains</p> + <p> Still in their Shell the <i>Recipe</i> retains</p> + <p> Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light</p> + <p> And helps the lab'ring Swain to <i>Celia's</i> Sight;</p> + <p> For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread—</p> + <p> And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,—and <i>Bread</i>;</p> + <p> For this the <i>Assembly's</i> fix'd; and the huge Dome</p> + <p> Swells with the Lady's Vows, <i>when the Stake's gone</i>.—</p> + <p> For this he forms the vicious Masquerade,</p> + <p> Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade,</p> + <p> For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray,</p> + <p> And Pickpockets too, <i>hail</i> the joyful Day—</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth,</p> + <p> Who to <i>Ridotto</i> gave an <i>English</i> Birth;</p> + <p> To him let every Templar bend the Knee,</p> + <p> Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee:</p> + <p> Let <i>Drury-Lane</i> eternal Columns raise,</p> + <p> And every wanton Wife resound his Praise;</p> + <p> Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey,</p> + <p> And to their grand Procurer Homage pay.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> No more shall <i>Duchesses</i> to <i>Bath</i> repair,</p> + <p> Or fly to <i>Tunbridge</i> to procure an Heir;</p> + <p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> can supply their every Want,</p> + <p> For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant,</p> + <p> And future Lords (if they'll confess the right)</p> + <p> Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night;</p> + <p> Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise,</p> + <p> (For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice)</p> + <p> An Æra of new Crimes shall hence begin,</p> + <p> And <i>H——gg——r</i> chief Devil be of Sin;</p> + <p> No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace,</p> + <p> His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face;</p> + <p> When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew,</p> + <p> To this his last Resort the Hero flew;</p> + <p> So by degrees the Errant Knights of old</p> + <p> To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold;</p> + <p> A while content the common Road they trod,</p> + <p> 'Till some great Act at last confess the <i>God</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Now Painters <i>work</i>,—and dine, that starv'd before,</p> + <p> And Tallymen supply each needy Whore—</p> + <p> Fam'd <i>Covent-Garden</i> droops with mournful Look,</p> + <p> Nor can St. <i>James's</i> her great Rival brook:</p> + <p> Each <i>Duck</i> and D——ss, quacks to different Tunes,</p> + <p> One <i>claps her Wings</i> for Love, the other swoons;</p> + <p> Each <i>Vintner</i> storms and swears he is undone,</p> + <p> Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan;</p> + <p> <i>Porter</i> who us'd to search for needful Girls,</p> + <p> Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls,</p> + <p> Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs,</p> + <p> In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Spring-Garden</i> now alone does all invite</p> + <p> The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight:</p> + <p> No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown,</p> + <p> Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down:</p> + <p> Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work,</p> + <p> And Counsellors find out some modern Querk,</p> + <p> To raise the Guinea, and to see the <i>Grot</i>,</p> + <p> And 'mongst the <i>Belles</i> to slant it at <i>Ridolt</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie,</p> + <p> And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye:</p> + <p> Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears,</p> + <p> Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears;</p> + <p> Her Gown with <i>Tyrian</i> Dyes most richly stain'd,</p> + <p> Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>My Lord</i>, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three,</p> + <p> Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me,</p> + <p> The third dispose as you shall best adjudge,</p> + <p> Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge:</p> + <p> <i>Madam</i> elate, thinks she'll be kind to <i>Betty</i>,</p> + <p> To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City:</p> + <p> But <i>Stallion Tom</i>, who well knew how to scold,</p> + <p> And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold,</p> + <p> Swears if <i>he</i> has it not, he will reveal,</p> + <p> And to his Master tell a dismal Tale;</p> + <p> <i>Madam</i>, reluctant, gives him up the Paper;</p> + <p> He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Sylvia</i>, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux,</p> + <p> Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose,</p> + <p> By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all,</p> + <p> In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall,</p> + <p> And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too,</p> + <p> Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due;</p> + <p> At last a brisk young <i>Templar</i> full of Fire,</p> + <p> Whom Writs with <i>Money</i>, Wine with Love inspire,</p> + <p> Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms,</p> + <p> And for a Ticket flies into his Arms:</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> So every <i>dapper Fop</i> and <i>brawny Rake</i></p> + <p> Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make;</p> + <p> To Sin, the only certain Dedication,</p> + <p> To every gentle Mistress in the Nation,</p> + <p> From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion;</p> + <p> For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit,</p> + <p> But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis <i>forbidden Fruit</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Near</i> where <i>the Thames</i> in pleasant Windings runs,</p> + <p> <i>Near</i> where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns,</p> + <p> (Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains,</p> + <p> An Emblem terrible, but just retains.)</p> + <p> <i>Near</i> where fam'd <i>Vaux</i> was to have fled,</p> + <p> <i>With</i> lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed;</p> + <p> Whence some pretend to say by second Sight,</p> + <p> That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night,</p> + <p> 'Cause here the Fair will many <i>Matches light</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> lie shaded with verdant Trees,</p> + <p> That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze;</p> + <p> Embassadors like <i>Turks</i> hence send Express,</p> + <p> And <i>Ministers of State</i> like Devils dress—</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Should some wild <i>Indian</i> see the various Scene,</p> + <p> He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene,</p> + <p> And take for quite reverse this medley Farce,</p> + <p> Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a <i>Mars</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round,</p> + <p> And with just Measures beat the passive Ground,</p> + <p> Each one inclines to different Delights—</p> + <p> Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite;</p> + <p> The <i>Templar</i> wisely does his Care enroll,</p> + <p> Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls</p> + <p> Nor will return to join the giddy Rout,</p> + <p> 'Till he has eat and drank his <i>Guinea</i> out.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys;</p> + <p> The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys;</p> + <p> <i>Strephon</i> streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while,</p> + <p> By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile;</p> + <p> Soon they return more vig'rous than before,</p> + <p> Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> For <i>Mahomet</i> may dream of heavenly Stews,</p> + <p> Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews,</p> + <p> And shake with every Breath of Air serene,</p> + <p> As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen;</p> + <p> When if those past can shake their Height profound,</p> + <p> <i>Ridotto</i> sure will fell them to the Ground;</p> + <p> Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat,</p> + <p> And Pyramids and Trees together meet;</p> + <p> Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise,</p> + <p> And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies;</p> + <p> Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays,</p> + <p> And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space;</p> + <p> Each joins to make it noble, and excells</p> + <p> Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn,</p> + <p> All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun;</p> + <p> A thousand Lights their livid Flames display,</p> + <p> Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day:</p> + <p> Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place,</p> + <p> And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace;</p> + <p> To see the sad Effect and Power of Change,</p> + <p> Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range:</p> + <p> Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars,</p> + <p> And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires.</p> + <p> <i>Belles, Beaux</i>, and Sharpers here together play,</p> + <p> And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away;</p> + <p> And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross,</p> + <p> They then <i>Cornute</i> 'em to retrieve their Loss.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Dice</i> and Intrigue so mutually are blended,</p> + <p> That one begins as soon as t'other's ended:</p> + <p> A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair,</p> + <p> Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care;</p> + <p> Against her fate a smooth young Baron,</p> + <p> Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on,</p> + <p> A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist,</p> + <p> In all Things suited to the modern Taste;</p> + <p> And most polite, like all our modish Brood,</p> + <p> That is, a very Fool, who's very leud:</p> + <p> He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside,</p> + <p> Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide;</p> + <p> At last (as Bargains here are quickly made)</p> + <p> She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid;</p> + <p> She cries, a private Room's for them most fit,</p> + <p> For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit;</p> + <p> This only is the Place, where in a Trice,</p> + <p> Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice;</p> + <p> The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains,</p> + <p> And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But who is he in Bower close confin'd,</p> + <p> With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind,</p> + <p> Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace,</p> + <p> It <i>Phoebus</i> is, or some of heavenly Race.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense,</p> + <p> Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P——ce.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before,</p> + <p> For my Mistake depended on his Whore,</p> + <p> One had <i>Latona</i> to'ther has <i>L——r</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Next to the <i>Grotto</i> let us bend our Eye,</p> + <p> The <i>Grotto</i>, Patron of Iniquity,</p> + <p> Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade,</p> + <p> How many Whores have at your Roots been made;</p> + <p> Alas; how small the Number to what now,</p> + <p> This one, this happy Night, alone will shew</p> + <p> So many, that each conscious <i>Dryad</i> flees,</p> + <p> Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear,</p> + <p> Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear:</p> + <p> The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate,</p> + <p> And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate;</p> + <p> So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame,</p> + <p> And to preserve the Honour of her Name;</p> + <p> For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs,</p> + <p> At the Room Door her good <i>Mamma</i> appears,</p> + <p> Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure,</p> + <p> She charges her to keep her <i>Vessel pure</i>:</p> + <p> Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom,</p> + <p> <i>Mamma</i>, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room?</p> + <p> The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach,</p> + <p> Cries—<i>Well my Dear, don't take too much!</i></p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night,</p> + <p> And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite;</p> + <p> Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day,</p> + <p> Others in Gambols with their Wh——es to play;</p> + <p> The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull,</p> + <p> If by good Chance, she gets a <i>Dupe</i> or Cull;</p> + <p> On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more,</p> + <p> And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail,</p> + <p> And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale:</p> + <p> In <i>England</i> they have given new Arts a Rise,</p> + <p> And what in Science wants, increase in Vice,</p> + <p> And to be great as Angels when they fell,</p> + <p> (If not exceed) at <i>least</i> they equal <i>Hell</i>.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delightc.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightc.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + <i>F I N I S.</i> +</h2> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Ladies Delight + +Author: Anonymous + +Release Date: November 10, 2004 [EBook #14005] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT *** + + + + +Produced by David Starner, David Garcia and the PG Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div style="height: 8em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;"> +L a d i e s D e l i g h t</span>.</h1> + +<h2> +CONTAINING, +</h2> +<div style="margin-left:15%;margin-right:15%;"> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +I. An Address to all <i>well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>; +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +II. The <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took +it's <i>Root</i>, and has spread its <i>Leaves</i> over all Christendom; being +extremely useful to <i>Students</i> in all <i>Branches</i> of polite Literature. +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +III. The Natural History of the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Arbor Vitæ</span>; or, The Tree of Life, in +Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript. +</p> +<p style="font-size: 120%;"> +IV. <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in +the famous <i>Spring Gardens</i> at <i>Vaux-Hall</i>, under the Care of that +ingenious <i>Botanist</i> Doctor <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">H——gg——r</span>. +</p> + +<center> +<hr /> +<i>RES est severa Voluptas</i>. +<hr /> +</center> + +<center> +<small> +<i>LONDON</i>: +<br /> +Printed for <i>W. James</i> in the <i>Strand</i>, 1732 +</small> +<br /><br /> +[Price Six-pence.] +</center> +</div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight1.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>AN</h2> +<h1>A D D R E S S</h1> +<h2> TO ALL<br /> <i>Well provided</i> <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Hibernians</span>.</h2> + +<p> +<i>Gentlemen</i>, +</p> + + +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;"> +<a href="images/delight2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight2.png" +alt="A" /></a> +</div> +<p style="text-indent: -1em;">S Nature hath been so <i>very Indulgent</i> to ye, as to stock your Gardens +with <i>Trees</i> of the <i>largest Growth</i>, for which Reason ye are caress'd, +whilst Men of <i>less Parts</i>, tho' in <i>some Things</i> more deserving, are +laugh'd at, and excluded all Company. +</p> +<p> +As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with +Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that +increases too. Both Men and Beasts have <i>some-thing</i> or another, for +which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in +this <i>Talent</i>, may securely laugh, while ye daily <i>grow</i> in the Ladies +Favour, and spread your <i>Branches</i> over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful +<i>Stick of Wood</i> has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they +had <i>piss'd</i> their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term +it) have by the Strength of true <i>Hibernian</i> Prowess rais'd themselves +to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her <i>plac'd in a +HOT-BED</i>, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd +again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been +content to <i>spend</i> the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the +World. +</p> +<p> +Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize +their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may +still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your +<i>Green-houses</i> be secure, nor your <i>young Plants</i> be ever nipt in the +<i>Bud</i>, and that you may ever <i>stand</i> against all <i>Cracks</i>, Storms, +Tempests, and <i>Eruptions</i>, +</p> +<center> +<i>Is the hearty Wishes of Your's</i>, +</center> +<p style="text-align: right;"> +BOTANICUS. +</p> + + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight3.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1> +<h2>OF THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;"> +<a href="images/delight4.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight4.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> + <p> THE Tree of which I fain would sing,</p> + <p> If the kind Muse her Aid would bring,</p> + <p> Is <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>; but in brief,</p> + <p> By vulgar Men call'd—<i>Tree of Life</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> First for Description then, 'tis such</p> + <p> As needs must captivate you much.</p> + <p> In Stem most streight, of lovely Size,</p> + <p> With Head elate this Plant doth rise;</p> + <p> First bare—when it doth further shoot,</p> + <p> <i>A Tuft of Moss</i> keeps warm the Root:</p> + <p> No <i>Lapland</i> Muff has such a Fur,</p> + <p> No Skin so soft has any Cur;</p> + <p> This touch'd, alone the Heart can move,</p> + <p> Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love;</p> + <p> From this erect springs up the Stalk,</p> + <p> No Power can stop, or ought can baulk;</p> + <p> On Top an <i>Apex</i> crowns the Tree,</p> + <p> As all Mankind may plainly see;</p> + <p> So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell,</p> + <p> Half gone, displays the <i>ruby Peel</i></p> + <p> Or like a Cherry bright and gay,</p> + <p> Just red'ning in the Month of <i>May</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> As other Trees bear Fruit at Top,</p> + <p> And they who rob 'em must <i>climb up</i>;</p> + <p> This still more rare doth upward shoot,</p> + <p> But at the Bottom bears its Fruit,</p> + <p> And they who'd reap its Virtues strong,</p> + <p> Need but to lay 'em <i>all along</i>,</p> + <p> <i>Ope' wide, their Mouths</i>, and they'll receive</p> + <p> The <i>Fruit of Life</i>, and eat, and live:</p> + <p> Not the fair Tree that <i>India</i> bears,</p> + <p> All over Spice both Head and Ears,</p> + <p> Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs</p> + <p> Have granted to this Tree of ours:</p> + <p> That in good Ale its Power boasts,</p> + <p> And ours has <i>Nutmeg's</i> fit for <i>Toasts</i></p> + <p> And Bags by <i>Nature</i> planted grow,</p> + <p> To keep 'em from all Winds that blow.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> The Rise is slow, and by Degrees,</p> + <p> Both Fruits and Tree itself increase</p> + <p> So slow, that ten Years scarce produce</p> + <p> <i>Six Inches</i> good and fit for Use;</p> + <p> But fifteen ripen well the Fruit,</p> + <p> And add a <i>viscous Balm</i> into't;</p> + <p> Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd,</p> + <p> Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd;</p> + <p> As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain,</p> + <p> So does this Shrub <i>its Juice</i> retain,</p> + <p> Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe,</p> + <p> Is justly call'd the <i>flow'ring Shrub</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> In every Nation springs this Tree,</p> + <p> In some confin'd; in others more free;</p> + <p> In <i>England</i>, 'tis of mod'rate Size,</p> + <p> And oft' does <i>nine full inches</i> rise:</p> + <p> But <i>Ireland</i>, tho' in Soil most poor,</p> + <p> Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store;</p> + <p> And sent o'er hither, it is such</p> + <p> As does exceed our own by much,</p> + <p> And gets the Owner many a <i>Farthing</i>,</p> + <p> For <i>Ladies</i> love it in their <i>Garden</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> That it's a <i>Tree</i> right <i>sensitive</i>,</p> + <p> Denies no honest Man alive:</p> + <p> Tho' as one <i>shrinks</i> and will not stand,</p> + <p> This <i>rises</i> at a <i>Lady's</i> Hand,</p> + <p> And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd,</p> + <p> As others <i>fall</i> when they are <i>pok'd</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> When nipping Cold bites off our Nose,</p> + <p> And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose,</p> + <p> In <i>Hot-beds</i> only then 'twill live,</p> + <p> And only when-well warm'd will thrive;</p> + <p> But when warm Summer does appear,</p> + <p> 'Twill <i>stand</i> all <i>brunts</i> in open Air;</p> + <p> Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat,</p> + <p> And sink with Nurture too replete;</p> + <p> Then <i>Birchen Twigs</i>, if right apply'd</p> + <p> To Back, Fore-part, or either Side——</p> + <p> Support a while, <i>and keep it up</i>,</p> + <p> Tho' soon again the Plant will droop.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Motteux</i> had one very untow'rd,</p> + <p> And thought to mend it with a Cord,</p> + <p> But <i>kill'd the Tree</i>, yet gain'd his <i>End</i>,</p> + <p> Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Others have thought to mend the Root,</p> + <p> By taking from the Tree its Fruit;</p> + <p> But in the <i>Nutmegs</i> lies the Breed,</p> + <p> And when they're gone we lose the <i>Seed</i>;</p> + <p> Tho' Virtuosi still have don't,</p> + <p> And always found it yield Accompt;</p> + <p> For <i>Hey——gg——r</i> then buys the <i>Wood</i>,</p> + <p> And of it makes us Whistles good,</p> + <p> Which yearly from <i>Italia</i> sent,</p> + <p> Here answers his and our Intent.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Others too curious will <i>innoc</i></p> + <p> <i>Ulate</i> their Plants on <i>Medlars</i> Stock,</p> + <p> (<i>i.e.</i> as Tongues in Vulgar pass,</p> + <p> They graft it on an <i>Open-arse</i>;)</p> + <p> But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all,</p> + <p> Say this is most <i>unnatural</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> That Soil is certainly the best,</p> + <p> Whence first it sprang, and first increast,</p> + <p> In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm,</p> + <p> With Hills to ward off every Storm,</p> + <p> Where Water salt runs trickling down,</p> + <p> And <i>Tendrils</i> lie o'er all the Ground,</p> + <p> Such as the Tree itself shoots forth,</p> + <p> And better if't be tow'rds the <i>North</i>;</p> + <p> When such a Piece of Ground you see,</p> + <p> If in the midst a Pit there be,</p> + <p> There plant it deep unto the <i>Root</i>,</p> + <p> And never fear——you'll soon have <i>Fruit</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Tho' let young <i>Botanists</i> beware</p> + <p> Of Insects that oft' harbour there,</p> + <p> Which 'mongst the tender <i>Fibres</i> breed,</p> + <p> And if not kill'd, eat up the <i>Seed</i>:</p> + <p> Good <i>Humphrey Bowen</i> gives another,</p> + <p> (As each Man should assist his Brother)</p> + <p> That is, to take especial Care</p> + <p> Not to set <i>Vulvaria</i> near;</p> + <p> Of them two Sorts are frequent found,</p> + <p> One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground;</p> + <p> And many a Plant thriving and tall,</p> + <p> Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But <i>Misan</i>'s taken this just napping,</p> + <p> And <i>against all Things that can happen</i></p> + <p> Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some</p> + <p> How to make the deadliest <i>Wholesome</i>;</p> + <p> These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> grow</p> + <p> At <i>Vaux-Hall</i> and <i>St. James's</i> too;</p> + <p> Nay, and about the Tree so leap,</p> + <p> That very few good Plants can 'scape.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight5.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight5.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<h2> +<i>The Names and Virtues</i> +</h2> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> + <p> Old Mother <i>D'Acier</i>, in her Notes</p> + <p> <i>On Homer</i>, some hard <i>Greek</i> Word quotes,</p> + <p> Calls it <i>Nep, nep</i>,—I know not what,</p> + <p> And says it is the very Plant that</p> + <p> The tawny Queen to <i>Helen</i> sent,</p> + <p> To cure her Griefs at all Event.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Great <i>Milton's Murd'rer</i> says it is</p> + <p> The fam'd <i>Machæra Herculis</i>,</p> + <p> And proves from some old <i>Grecian</i> Poet,</p> + <p> So plain that all Men sure must know it,</p> + <p> That of this <i>Tree</i> the Club was made,</p> + <p> With which he overcame ('tis said)</p> + <p> <i>Thespius</i>' Daughters, all grown wild,</p> + <p> And <i>fifty Mad-Women</i> made <i>mild</i>;</p> + <p> Which very Club—(it makes one Laugh)</p> + <p> <i>Omphale</i> turn'd into a Distaff.</p> + <p> Nay, the <i>Hesperian</i> Tree was this,</p> + <p> As shew the <i>Poma Veneris</i>;</p> + <p> These Apples doubtless were the Fruit</p> + <p> That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute,</p> + <p> To make 'em all <i>stark-naked</i> stand,</p> + <p> While <i>Paris</i> held it in his Hand,</p> + <p> And <i>chuck'd</i> it into <i>Venus</i>' Mouth,</p> + <p> 'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> The Virtues are of such great Note,</p> + <p> That twenty Volumes might be wrote;</p> + <p> The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures,</p> + <p> And purges thro' all corporal Pores;</p> + <p> If any Maid be sick, or faint</p> + <p> Of Love, or Father's close Constraint,</p> + <p> One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm</p> + <p> Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm;</p> + <p> 'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause,</p> + <p> And in the Belly make strange Flaws,</p> + <p> But a few Moons will make 'em sound,</p> + <p> And safely fetch the Swelling down.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Not Saffron chears the Heart like this,</p> + <p> Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss:</p> + <p> When Wife and Husband do fall out,</p> + <p> And both remain in sullen pout,</p> + <p> This brings them to themselves again,</p> + <p> And fast unites the broken Chain;</p> + <p> Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease</p> + <p> And gives at least a <i>Night of Peace</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> This Rarity may now be seen</p> + <p> In <i>Lambeth</i>, at a Garden Green,</p> + <p> <i>Bowen</i> his Name, who in high Tone,</p> + <p> Calls it the <i>Tree of Silver Spoon</i>,</p> + <p> Which all the Maids of curious Eyes</p> + <p> May there behold of <i>largest</i> Size.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delight6.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight6.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delight7.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight7.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1>Natural H I S T O R Y</h1> +<h2>OF THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">T r e e</span> of L I F E.</h1> + +<h3> + <i>The</i> DESCRIPTION <i>and</i> PLACE. +</h3> + +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 1em;"> +<a href="images/delight8.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight8.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> +<p style="text-indent: -1em;">HE <i>Tree of Life</i> is a <i>succulent Plant</i>, consisting of one only strait +stem, on the top of which is a <i>Pistillum</i> or <i>Apex</i>, at some times +<i>Glandiform</i> and resembling a <i>May-Cherry</i>, tho' at others, more like +the <i>Nut</i> of the <i>Avellana</i> or <i>Filbeard-Tree</i>. +</p> +<p> +Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are +usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding +that of an ordinary <i>Nutmeg</i> both contained in one strong <i>Siliqua</i>, or +purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly +thick set with numerous <i>Fibrilla</i> or <i>capillary Tendrils</i>. +</p> +<p> +The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection, +rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits +coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy <i>succus</i>, which +being from time to time discharged at the <i>Pistillum</i> is mostly bestow'd +upon the open <i>Calyx's</i> of the <i>Frutex Vulvaria</i> or <i>flow'ring Shrub</i> +usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a +wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. <i>Richard +Bradley</i> is of opinion, the <i>Frutex</i> is hereby impregnated, and then +first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this <i>Succus</i> the <i>Farina +foecundans</i> of the plant: and the learned <i>Leonhard Fucksius</i>, in his +<i>Historia Stirpium insigniorum</i>, observes the greatest sympathy between +this tree and shrub, <i>They are</i>, says he, <i>of the same genus, and do +best in the same bed, the</i> Vulvaria <i>itself being indeed no other than +a</i> female Arbor Vitæ. +</p> +<p> +It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than +others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in +<i>England</i> rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that +chiefly in <i>Kent</i>, whereas in <i>Ireland</i>, it comes to far greater +dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon +it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good +houses with single plants of this sort. +</p> +<p> +As the <i>Irish</i> soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad +for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be +about <i>Harborough</i> and the <i>Forest of Sherard</i>. +</p> +<p> +The stem seems to be of the <i>sensitive</i> tribe, tho' herein differing +from the more common <i>Sensitives</i>; that whereas they are known to shrink +and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on +the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled. +</p> +<p> +In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in +warmer weather they stand well in the open air. +</p> +<p> +In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid, +and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of +splintering them up with <i>birchen Twigs</i>, which has seem'd of some +service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the +same or a more drooping state than before. +</p> +<p> +The late ingenious Mr. <i>Motteux</i> thought of restoring a fine plant he +had in this condition, by tying it up with a <i>Tomex</i> or cord made of the +bark of the <i>Vitex</i>, or <i>Hempen-Tree</i>: but whether he made the ligature +too straight, or that the nature of the <i>Vitex</i> is really in itself +pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this +universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment. +</p> +<p> +Some <i>Virtuosi</i> have thought of improving their trees for some purposes, +by taking off the <i>Nutmegs</i>, which is however a bad way; they never +<i>seed</i> after, and are good for little more than making whistles of, +which are imported every year from <i>Italy</i>, and sell indeed at a good +price. +</p> +<p> +Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants +on the stock of the <i>Medlar</i> and that with a manure of <i>human Ordure</i>, +but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to +a <i>very ill end</i> by such management. +</p> +<p> +The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that +is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by +their producing the same sort of <i>Tendrils</i> as are observ'd about the +roots of the <i>Arbor</i> itself. Some cautions however are very necessary, +especially to young <i>Botanists</i>; and first, to be very diligent in +keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not, +unlike a <i>Morpione</i> or <i>Cimex</i>, being very subject to breed amongst the +<i>Fibrillæ</i>, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves +often of very dangerous consequence. +</p> +<p> +Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and +judicious Botanist Mr. <i>Humphrey Bowen</i>, to beware of a poisonous +species of <i>Vulvaria</i>, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and +which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their +well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of +<i>la Quintinye</i>, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience, +some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and +he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous +shrub, become <i>porrose, scabiose</i>, and cover'd with <i>fungous +Excrescences</i> not unlike the fruits of the <i>Ficus sylvestris</i> in which +case the <i>succus</i> also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree +itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had +hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through +a whole Plantation. +</p> +<p> +These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd +the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out +remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the +celebrated <i>Dr. Misaubin</i> who from his profound knowledge in Botany has +composed a most elaborate work upon <i>all the things that can happen</i>, +both to the <i>Arbor Vitæ</i> and <i>Vulvaria also</i>: There he has taught a +certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even +found out a way of making the most venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> itself wholesome, +which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him. +</p> +<p> +These venomous <i>Vulvaria</i> are but too common in most gardens about +<i>London</i>; there are many in St. <i>James's Park</i>, and more in the +celebrated gardens at <i>Vaux-hall</i> over the water. +</p> +<h3> +<i>The</i> NAMES <i>and</i> VIRTUES. +</h3> +<p> +Besides the common name of <i>Arbor Vitæ</i>, a very learned Philosopher +and great Divine would have it call'd, <i>Arbor Scientiæ boni & mali</i>; +believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the +middle of the garden of <i>Eden</i>, and whose fruits were so alluring to +our first mother. Others would have it call'd the <i>Mandrake</i> of <i>Leah</i>, +persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren <i>Rachel</i> +a joyful mother of children. +</p> +<p> +The learned <i>Madame D'Acier</i> in her notes upon <i>Homer</i> contends it +should be called <i>Nepenthes</i>. She gives many reasons why it certainly +is that very plant, whose fruits the <i>Egyptian</i> queen recommended to +<i>Helen</i>, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which +She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of +as a <i>Panacæa</i> upon all occasions. +</p> +<p> +The great Dr. <i>Bentley</i> calls it more than once <i>Machæra Herculis</i>, +having proved out of the fragments of a <i>Greek</i> Poet, that of this tree +was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the +fifty wild daughters of <i>Thespius</i>, but which Queen <i>Omphale</i> afterwards +reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated <i>Hesperian</i> +trees were of this sort; and the very name of <i>Poma Veneris</i>, frequently +given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these +were really the <i>Apples</i> for which three Goddesses contended in so warm +a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest +title. +</p> +<p> +The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The +juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of +the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. +It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those +being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few +Months. +</p> +<p> +It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and +discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and +loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this +reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest +empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most +destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been +produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the +chief of the contending parties. +</p> +<p> +If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in +good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr <i>Bowen's</i> +garden at <i>Lambeth</i>, who calls it <i>The Silver-Spoon Tree</i>; and is at all +times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it. +</p> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delight9.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delight9.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/delighta.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delighta.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + + +<h2>THE</h2> +<h1><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Ridotto</span> al' <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Fresco</span>,</h1> +<h2>A</h2> +<h1>P O E M.</h1> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<div style="width: 20%; float: left; margin-right: 4em;"> +<a href="images/delightb.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightb.png" +alt="T" /></a> +</div> + <p> What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain,</p> + <p> To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain—</p> + <p> Now <i>Balls</i>, now <i>Masquerades</i> his Care employ,</p> + <p> And <i>Play</i> and Park alternately give Joy—</p> + <p> Industrious <i>H——gg——r</i>, whose magick Brains</p> + <p> Still in their Shell the <i>Recipe</i> retains</p> + <p> Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light</p> + <p> And helps the lab'ring Swain to <i>Celia's</i> Sight;</p> + <p> For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread—</p> + <p> And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,—and <i>Bread</i>;</p> + <p> For this the <i>Assembly's</i> fix'd; and the huge Dome</p> + <p> Swells with the Lady's Vows, <i>when the Stake's gone</i>.—</p> + <p> For this he forms the vicious Masquerade,</p> + <p> Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade,</p> + <p> For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray,</p> + <p> And Pickpockets too, <i>hail</i> the joyful Day—</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth,</p> + <p> Who to <i>Ridotto</i> gave an <i>English</i> Birth;</p> + <p> To him let every Templar bend the Knee,</p> + <p> Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee:</p> + <p> Let <i>Drury-Lane</i> eternal Columns raise,</p> + <p> And every wanton Wife resound his Praise;</p> + <p> Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey,</p> + <p> And to their grand Procurer Homage pay.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> No more shall <i>Duchesses</i> to <i>Bath</i> repair,</p> + <p> Or fly to <i>Tunbridge</i> to procure an Heir;</p> + <p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> can supply their every Want,</p> + <p> For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant,</p> + <p> And future Lords (if they'll confess the right)</p> + <p> Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night;</p> + <p> Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise,</p> + <p> (For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice)</p> + <p> An Æra of new Crimes shall hence begin,</p> + <p> And <i>H——gg——r</i> chief Devil be of Sin;</p> + <p> No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace,</p> + <p> His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face;</p> + <p> When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew,</p> + <p> To this his last Resort the Hero flew;</p> + <p> So by degrees the Errant Knights of old</p> + <p> To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold;</p> + <p> A while content the common Road they trod,</p> + <p> 'Till some great Act at last confess the <i>God</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Now Painters <i>work</i>,—and dine, that starv'd before,</p> + <p> And Tallymen supply each needy Whore—</p> + <p> Fam'd <i>Covent-Garden</i> droops with mournful Look,</p> + <p> Nor can St. <i>James's</i> her great Rival brook:</p> + <p> Each <i>Duck</i> and D——ss, quacks to different Tunes,</p> + <p> One <i>claps her Wings</i> for Love, the other swoons;</p> + <p> Each <i>Vintner</i> storms and swears he is undone,</p> + <p> Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan;</p> + <p> <i>Porter</i> who us'd to search for needful Girls,</p> + <p> Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls,</p> + <p> Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs,</p> + <p> In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Spring-Garden</i> now alone does all invite</p> + <p> The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight:</p> + <p> No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown,</p> + <p> Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down:</p> + <p> Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work,</p> + <p> And Counsellors find out some modern Querk,</p> + <p> To raise the Guinea, and to see the <i>Grot</i>,</p> + <p> And 'mongst the <i>Belles</i> to slant it at <i>Ridolt</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie,</p> + <p> And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye:</p> + <p> Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears,</p> + <p> Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears;</p> + <p> Her Gown with <i>Tyrian</i> Dyes most richly stain'd,</p> + <p> Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>My Lord</i>, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three,</p> + <p> Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me,</p> + <p> The third dispose as you shall best adjudge,</p> + <p> Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge:</p> + <p> <i>Madam</i> elate, thinks she'll be kind to <i>Betty</i>,</p> + <p> To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City:</p> + <p> But <i>Stallion Tom</i>, who well knew how to scold,</p> + <p> And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold,</p> + <p> Swears if <i>he</i> has it not, he will reveal,</p> + <p> And to his Master tell a dismal Tale;</p> + <p> <i>Madam</i>, reluctant, gives him up the Paper;</p> + <p> He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Sylvia</i>, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux,</p> + <p> Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose,</p> + <p> By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all,</p> + <p> In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall,</p> + <p> And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too,</p> + <p> Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due;</p> + <p> At last a brisk young <i>Templar</i> full of Fire,</p> + <p> Whom Writs with <i>Money</i>, Wine with Love inspire,</p> + <p> Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms,</p> + <p> And for a Ticket flies into his Arms:</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> So every <i>dapper Fop</i> and <i>brawny Rake</i></p> + <p> Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make;</p> + <p> To Sin, the only certain Dedication,</p> + <p> To every gentle Mistress in the Nation,</p> + <p> From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion;</p> + <p> For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit,</p> + <p> But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis <i>forbidden Fruit</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Near</i> where <i>the Thames</i> in pleasant Windings runs,</p> + <p> <i>Near</i> where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns,</p> + <p> (Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains,</p> + <p> An Emblem terrible, but just retains.)</p> + <p> <i>Near</i> where fam'd <i>Vaux</i> was to have fled,</p> + <p> <i>With</i> lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed;</p> + <p> Whence some pretend to say by second Sight,</p> + <p> That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night,</p> + <p> 'Cause here the Fair will many <i>Matches light</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Spring-Gardens</i> lie shaded with verdant Trees,</p> + <p> That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze;</p> + <p> Embassadors like <i>Turks</i> hence send Express,</p> + <p> And <i>Ministers of State</i> like Devils dress—</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Should some wild <i>Indian</i> see the various Scene,</p> + <p> He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene,</p> + <p> And take for quite reverse this medley Farce,</p> + <p> Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a <i>Mars</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round,</p> + <p> And with just Measures beat the passive Ground,</p> + <p> Each one inclines to different Delights—</p> + <p> Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite;</p> + <p> The <i>Templar</i> wisely does his Care enroll,</p> + <p> Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls</p> + <p> Nor will return to join the giddy Rout,</p> + <p> 'Till he has eat and drank his <i>Guinea</i> out.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys;</p> + <p> The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys;</p> + <p> <i>Strephon</i> streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while,</p> + <p> By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile;</p> + <p> Soon they return more vig'rous than before,</p> + <p> Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> For <i>Mahomet</i> may dream of heavenly Stews,</p> + <p> Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews,</p> + <p> And shake with every Breath of Air serene,</p> + <p> As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen;</p> + <p> When if those past can shake their Height profound,</p> + <p> <i>Ridotto</i> sure will fell them to the Ground;</p> + <p> Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat,</p> + <p> And Pyramids and Trees together meet;</p> + <p> Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise,</p> + <p> And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies;</p> + <p> Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays,</p> + <p> And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space;</p> + <p> Each joins to make it noble, and excells</p> + <p> Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn,</p> + <p> All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun;</p> + <p> A thousand Lights their livid Flames display,</p> + <p> Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day:</p> + <p> Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place,</p> + <p> And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace;</p> + <p> To see the sad Effect and Power of Change,</p> + <p> Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range:</p> + <p> Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars,</p> + <p> And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires.</p> + <p> <i>Belles, Beaux</i>, and Sharpers here together play,</p> + <p> And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away;</p> + <p> And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross,</p> + <p> They then <i>Cornute</i> 'em to retrieve their Loss.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> <i>Dice</i> and Intrigue so mutually are blended,</p> + <p> That one begins as soon as t'other's ended:</p> + <p> A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair,</p> + <p> Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care;</p> + <p> Against her fate a smooth young Baron,</p> + <p> Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on,</p> + <p> A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist,</p> + <p> In all Things suited to the modern Taste;</p> + <p> And most polite, like all our modish Brood,</p> + <p> That is, a very Fool, who's very leud:</p> + <p> He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside,</p> + <p> Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide;</p> + <p> At last (as Bargains here are quickly made)</p> + <p> She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid;</p> + <p> She cries, a private Room's for them most fit,</p> + <p> For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit;</p> + <p> This only is the Place, where in a Trice,</p> + <p> Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice;</p> + <p> The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains,</p> + <p> And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> But who is he in Bower close confin'd,</p> + <p> With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind,</p> + <p> Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace,</p> + <p> It <i>Phoebus</i> is, or some of heavenly Race.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense,</p> + <p> Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P——ce.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before,</p> + <p> For my Mistake depended on his Whore,</p> + <p> One had <i>Latona</i> to'ther has <i>L——r</i>.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Next to the <i>Grotto</i> let us bend our Eye,</p> + <p> The <i>Grotto</i>, Patron of Iniquity,</p> + <p> Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade,</p> + <p> How many Whores have at your Roots been made;</p> + <p> Alas; how small the Number to what now,</p> + <p> This one, this happy Night, alone will shew</p> + <p> So many, that each conscious <i>Dryad</i> flees,</p> + <p> Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear,</p> + <p> Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear:</p> + <p> The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate,</p> + <p> And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate;</p> + <p> So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame,</p> + <p> And to preserve the Honour of her Name;</p> + <p> For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs,</p> + <p> At the Room Door her good <i>Mamma</i> appears,</p> + <p> Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure,</p> + <p> She charges her to keep her <i>Vessel pure</i>:</p> + <p> Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom,</p> + <p> <i>Mamma</i>, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room?</p> + <p> The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach,</p> + <p> Cries—<i>Well my Dear, don't take too much!</i></p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night,</p> + <p> And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite;</p> + <p> Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day,</p> + <p> Others in Gambols with their Wh——es to play;</p> + <p> The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull,</p> + <p> If by good Chance, she gets a <i>Dupe</i> or Cull;</p> + <p> On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more,</p> + <p> And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> + <p> Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail,</p> + <p> And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale:</p> + <p> In <i>England</i> they have given new Arts a Rise,</p> + <p> And what in Science wants, increase in Vice,</p> + <p> And to be great as Angels when they fell,</p> + <p> (If not exceed) at <i>least</i> they equal <i>Hell</i>.</p> +</div></div> + +<div class="figure" style="width: 50%;"> +<a href="images/delightc.png"><img width="100%" src="images/delightc.png" +alt="" /></a> +</div> + + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + <i>F I N I S.</i> +</h2> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Ladies Delight, by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT *** + +***** This file should be named 14005-h.htm or 14005-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/0/0/14005/ + +Produced by David Starner, David Garcia and the PG Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Ladies Delight + +Author: Anonymous + +Release Date: November 10, 2004 [EBook #14005] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT *** + + + + +Produced by David Starner, David Garcia and the PG Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. + + + + + + + + + + +THE LADIES DELIGHT. + + +CONTAINING, + +I. An Address to all _well provided_ HIBERNIANS; + +II. The ARBOR VITAE; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took +it's _Root_, and has spread its _Leaves_ over all Christendom; being +extremely useful to _Students_ in all _Branches_ of polite Literature. + +III. The Natural History of the ARBOR VITAE; or, The Tree of Life, in +Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript. + +IV. RIDOTTO al' FRESCO. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in +the famous _Spring Gardens_ at _Vaux-Hall_, under the Care of that +ingenious _Botanist_ Doctor H----GG----R. + + * * * * * + +_RES est severa Voluptas_. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_: + +Printed for _W. James_ in the _Strand_, 1732 + +[Price Six-pence.] + + * * * * * + + + + +AN ADDRESS TO ALL _Well provided_ HIBERNIANS. + + +_Gentlemen_, + +As Nature hath been so _very Indulgent_ to ye, as to stock your Gardens +with _Trees_ of the _largest Growth_, for which Reason ye are caress'd, +whilst Men of _less Parts_, tho' in _some Things_ more deserving, are +laugh'd at, and excluded all Company. + +As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with +Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that +increases too. Both Men and Beasts have _some-thing_ or another, for +which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in +this _Talent_, may securely laugh, while ye daily _grow_ in the Ladies +Favour, and spread your _Branches_ over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful +_Stick of Wood_ has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they +had _piss'd_ their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term +it) have by the Strength of true _Hibernian_ Prowess rais'd themselves +to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her _plac'd in a +HOT-BED_, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd +again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been +content to _spend_ the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the +World. + +Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize +their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may +still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your +_Green-houses_ be secure, nor your _young Plants_ be ever nipt in the +_Bud_, and that you may ever _stand_ against all _Cracks_, Storms, +Tempests, and _Eruptions_, + +_Is the hearty Wishes of Your's_, + +BOTANICUS. + + + + +THE Natural HISTORY OF THE TREE of LIFE. + + + The Tree of which I fain would sing, + If the kind Muse her Aid would bring, + Is _Arbor Vitae_; but in brief, + By vulgar Men call'd--_Tree of Life_. + + First for Description then, 'tis such + As needs must captivate you much. + In Stem most streight, of lovely Size, + With Head elate this Plant doth rise; + First bare--when it doth further shoot, + _A Tuft of Moss_ keeps warm the Root: + No _Lapland_ Muff has such a Fur, + No Skin so soft has any Cur; + This touch'd, alone the Heart can move, + Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love; + From this erect springs up the Stalk, + No Power can stop, or ought can baulk; + On Top an _Apex_ crowns the Tree, + As all Mankind may plainly see; + So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell, + Half gone, displays the _ruby Peel_ + Or like a Cherry bright and gay, + Just red'ning in the Month of _May_. + + As other Trees bear Fruit at Top, + And they who rob 'em must _climb up_; + This still more rare doth upward shoot, + But at the Bottom bears its Fruit, + And they who'd reap its Virtues strong, + Need but to lay 'em _all along_, + _Ope' wide, their Mouths_, and they'll receive + The _Fruit of Life_, and eat, and live: + Not the fair Tree that _India_ bears, + All over Spice both Head and Ears, + Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs + Have granted to this Tree of ours: + That in good Ale its Power boasts, + And ours has _Nutmeg's_ fit for _Toasts_ + And Bags by _Nature_ planted grow, + To keep 'em from all Winds that blow. + + The Rise is slow, and by Degrees, + Both Fruits and Tree itself increase + So slow, that ten Years scarce produce + _Six Inches_ good and fit for Use; + But fifteen ripen well the Fruit, + And add a _viscous Balm_ into't; + Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd, + Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd; + As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain, + So does this Shrub _its Juice_ retain, + Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe, + Is justly call'd the _flow'ring Shrub_. + + In every Nation springs this Tree, + In some confin'd; in others more free; + In _England_, 'tis of mod'rate Size, + And oft' does _nine full inches_ rise: + But _Ireland_, tho' in Soil most poor, + Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store; + And sent o'er hither, it is such + As does exceed our own by much, + And gets the Owner many a _Farthing_, + For _Ladies_ love it in their _Garden_. + + That it's a _Tree_ right _sensitive_, + Denies no honest Man alive: + Tho' as one _shrinks_ and will not stand, + This _rises_ at a _Lady's_ Hand, + And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd, + As others _fall_ when they are _pok'd_. + + When nipping Cold bites off our Nose, + And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose, + In _Hot-beds_ only then 'twill live, + And only when-well warm'd will thrive; + But when warm Summer does appear, + 'Twill _stand_ all _brunts_ in open Air; + Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat, + And sink with Nurture too replete; + Then _Birchen Twigs_, if right apply'd + To Back, Fore-part, or either Side---- + Support a while, _and keep it up_, + Tho' soon again the Plant will droop. + + _Motteux_ had one very untow'rd, + And thought to mend it with a Cord, + But _kill'd the Tree_, yet gain'd his _End_, + Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd. + + Others have thought to mend the Root, + By taking from the Tree its Fruit; + But in the _Nutmegs_ lies the Breed, + And when they're gone we lose the _Seed_; + Tho' Virtuosi still have don't, + And always found it yield Accompt; + For _Hey----gg----r_ then buys the _Wood_, + And of it makes us Whistles good, + Which yearly from _Italia_ sent, + Here answers his and our Intent. + + Others too curious will _innoc_ + _Ulate_ their Plants on _Medlars_ Stock, + (_i.e._ as Tongues in Vulgar pass, + They graft it on an _Open-arse_;) + But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all, + Say this is most _unnatural_. + + That Soil is certainly the best, + Whence first it sprang, and first increast, + In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm, + With Hills to ward off every Storm, + Where Water salt runs trickling down, + And _Tendrils_ lie o'er all the Ground, + Such as the Tree itself shoots forth, + And better if't be tow'rds the _North_; + When such a Piece of Ground you see, + If in the midst a Pit there be, + There plant it deep unto the _Root_, + And never fear----you'll soon have _Fruit_. + + Tho' let young _Botanists_ beware + Of Insects that oft' harbour there, + Which 'mongst the tender _Fibres_ breed, + And if not kill'd, eat up the _Seed_: + Good _Humphrey Bowen_ gives another, + (As each Man should assist his Brother) + That is, to take especial Care + Not to set _Vulvaria_ near; + Of them two Sorts are frequent found, + One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground; + And many a Plant thriving and tall, + Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall. + + But _Misan_'s taken this just napping, + And _against all Things that can happen_ + Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some + How to make the deadliest _Wholesome_; + These venomous _Vulvaria_ grow + At _Vaux-Hall_ and _St. James's_ too; + Nay, and about the Tree so leap, + That very few good Plants can 'scape. + + +_The Names and Virtues_ + + + Old Mother _D'Acier_, in her Notes + _On Homer_, some hard _Greek_ Word quotes, + Calls it _Nep, nep_,--I know not what, + And says it is the very Plant that + The tawny Queen to _Helen_ sent, + To cure her Griefs at all Event. + + Great _Milton's Murd'rer_ says it is + The fam'd _Machaera Herculis_, + And proves from some old _Grecian_ Poet, + So plain that all Men sure must know it, + That of this _Tree_ the Club was made, + With which he overcame ('tis said) + _Thespius_' Daughters, all grown wild, + And _fifty Mad-Women_ made _mild_; + Which very Club--(it makes one Laugh) + _Omphale_ turn'd into a Distaff. + Nay, the _Hesperian_ Tree was this, + As shew the _Poma Veneris_; + These Apples doubtless were the Fruit + That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute, + To make 'em all _stark-naked_ stand, + While _Paris_ held it in his Hand, + And _chuck'd_ it into _Venus_' Mouth, + 'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth. + + The Virtues are of such great Note, + That twenty Volumes might be wrote; + The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures, + And purges thro' all corporal Pores; + If any Maid be sick, or faint + Of Love, or Father's close Constraint, + One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm + Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm; + 'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause, + And in the Belly make strange Flaws, + But a few Moons will make 'em sound, + And safely fetch the Swelling down. + + Not Saffron chears the Heart like this, + Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss: + When Wife and Husband do fall out, + And both remain in sullen pout, + This brings them to themselves again, + And fast unites the broken Chain; + Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease + And gives at least a _Night of Peace_. + + This Rarity may now be seen + In _Lambeth_, at a Garden Green, + _Bowen_ his Name, who in high Tone, + Calls it the _Tree of Silver Spoon_, + Which all the Maids of curious Eyes + May there behold of _largest_ Size. + + + + + +THE Natural HISTORY OF THE TREE of LIFE. + +_The_ DESCRIPTION _and_ PLACE. + + +The _Tree of Life_ is a _succulent Plant_, consisting of one only strait +stem, on the top of which is a _Pistillum_ or _Apex_, at some times +_Glandiform_ and resembling a _May-Cherry_, tho' at others, more like +the _Nut_ of the _Avellana_ or _Filbeard-Tree_. + +Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are +usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding +that of an ordinary _Nutmeg_ both contained in one strong _Siliqua_, or +purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly +thick set with numerous _Fibrilla_ or _capillary Tendrils_. + +The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection, +rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits +coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy _succus_, which +being from time to time discharged at the _Pistillum_ is mostly bestow'd +upon the open _Calyx's_ of the _Frutex Vulvaria_ or _flow'ring Shrub_ +usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a +wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. _Richard +Bradley_ is of opinion, the _Frutex_ is hereby impregnated, and then +first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this _Succus_ the _Farina +foecundans_ of the plant: and the learned _Leonhard Fucksius_, in his +_Historia Stirpium insigniorum_, observes the greatest sympathy between +this tree and shrub, _They are_, says he, _of the same genus, and do +best in the same bed, the_ Vulvaria _itself being indeed no other than +a_ female Arbor Vitae. + +It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than +others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in +_England_ rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that +chiefly in _Kent_, whereas in _Ireland_, it comes to far greater +dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon +it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good +houses with single plants of this sort. + +As the _Irish_ soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad +for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be +about _Harborough_ and the _Forest of Sherard_. + +The stem seems to be of the _sensitive_ tribe, tho' herein differing +from the more common _Sensitives_; that whereas they are known to shrink +and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on +the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled. + +In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in +warmer weather they stand well in the open air. + +In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid, +and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of +splintering them up with _birchen Twigs_, which has seem'd of some +service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the +same or a more drooping state than before. + +The late ingenious Mr. _Motteux_ thought of restoring a fine plant he +had in this condition, by tying it up with a _Tomex_ or cord made of the +bark of the _Vitex_, or _Hempen-Tree_: but whether he made the ligature +too straight, or that the nature of the _Vitex_ is really in itself +pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this +universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment. + +Some _Virtuosi_ have thought of improving their trees for some purposes, +by taking off the _Nutmegs_, which is however a bad way; they never +_seed_ after, and are good for little more than making whistles of, +which are imported every year from _Italy_, and sell indeed at a good +price. + +Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants +on the stock of the _Medlar_ and that with a manure of _human Ordure_, +but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to +a _very ill end_ by such management. + +The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that +is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by +their producing the same sort of _Tendrils_ as are observ'd about the +roots of the _Arbor_ itself. Some cautions however are very necessary, +especially to young _Botanists_; and first, to be very diligent in +keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not, +unlike a _Morpione_ or _Cimex_, being very subject to breed amongst the +_Fibrillae_, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves +often of very dangerous consequence. + +Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and +judicious Botanist Mr. _Humphrey Bowen_, to beware of a poisonous +species of _Vulvaria_, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and +which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their +well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of +_la Quintinye_, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience, +some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and +he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous +shrub, become _porrose, scabiose_, and cover'd with _fungous +Excrescences_ not unlike the fruits of the _Ficus sylvestris_ in which +case the _succus_ also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree +itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had +hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through +a whole Plantation. + +These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd +the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out +remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the +celebrated _Dr. Misaubin_ who from his profound knowledge in Botany has +composed a most elaborate work upon _all the things that can happen_, +both to the _Arbor Vitae_ and _Vulvaria also_: There he has taught a +certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even +found out a way of making the most venomous _Vulvaria_ itself wholesome, +which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him. + +These venomous _Vulvaria_ are but too common in most gardens about +_London_; there are many in St. _James's Park_, and more in the +celebrated gardens at _Vaux-hall_ over the water. + + +_The_ NAMES _and_ VIRTUES. + +Besides the common name of _Arbor Vitae_, a very learned Philosopher +and great Divine would have it call'd, _Arbor Scientiae boni & mali_; +believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the +middle of the garden of _Eden_, and whose fruits were so alluring to +our first mother. Others would have it call'd the _Mandrake_ of _Leah_, +persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren _Rachel_ +a joyful mother of children. + +The learned _Madame D'Acier_ in her notes upon _Homer_ contends it +should be called _Nepenthes_. She gives many reasons why it certainly +is that very plant, whose fruits the _Egyptian_ queen recommended to +_Helen_, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which +She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of +as a _Panacaea_ upon all occasions. + +The great Dr. _Bentley_ calls it more than once _Machaera Herculis_, +having proved out of the fragments of a _Greek_ Poet, that of this tree +was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the +fifty wild daughters of _Thespius_, but which Queen _Omphale_ afterwards +reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated _Hesperian_ +trees were of this sort; and the very name of _Poma Veneris_, frequently +given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these +were really the _Apples_ for which three Goddesses contended in so warm +a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest +title. + +The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The +juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of +the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. +It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those +being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few +Months. + +It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and +discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and +loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this +reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest +empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most +destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been +produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the +chief of the contending parties. + +If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in +good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr _Bowen's_ +garden at _Lambeth_, who calls it _The Silver-Spoon Tree_; and is at all +times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it. + + + + +THE Ridotto al' Fresco, A POEM. + + + What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain, + To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain-- + Now _Balls_, now _Masquerades_ his Care employ, + And _Play_ and Park alternately give Joy-- + Industrious _H----gg----r_, whose magick Brains + Still in their Shell the _Recipe_ retains + Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light + And helps the lab'ring Swain to _Celia's_ Sight; + For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread-- + And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,--and _Bread_; + For this the _Assembly's_ fix'd; and the huge Dome + Swells with the Lady's Vows, _when the Stake's gone_.-- + For this he forms the vicious Masquerade, + Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade, + For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray, + And Pickpockets too, _hail_ the joyful Day-- + + But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth, + Who to _Ridotto_ gave an _English_ Birth; + To him let every Templar bend the Knee, + Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee: + Let _Drury-Lane_ eternal Columns raise, + And every wanton Wife resound his Praise; + Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey, + And to their grand Procurer Homage pay. + + No more shall _Duchesses_ to _Bath_ repair, + Or fly to _Tunbridge_ to procure an Heir; + _Spring-Gardens_ can supply their every Want, + For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant, + And future Lords (if they'll confess the right) + Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night; + Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise, + (For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice) + An Aera of new Crimes shall hence begin, + And _H----gg----r_ chief Devil be of Sin; + No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace, + His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face; + When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew, + To this his last Resort the Hero flew; + So by degrees the Errant Knights of old + To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold; + A while content the common Road they trod, + 'Till some great Act at last confess the _God_. + + Now Painters _work_,--and dine, that starv'd before, + And Tallymen supply each needy Whore-- + Fam'd _Covent-Garden_ droops with mournful Look, + Nor can St. _James's_ her great Rival brook: + Each _Duck_ and D----ss, quacks to different Tunes, + One _claps her Wings_ for Love, the other swoons; + Each _Vintner_ storms and swears he is undone, + Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan; + _Porter_ who us'd to search for needful Girls, + Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls, + Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs, + In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice. + + _Spring-Garden_ now alone does all invite + The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight: + No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown, + Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down: + Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work, + And Counsellors find out some modern Querk, + To raise the Guinea, and to see the _Grot_, + And 'mongst the _Belles_ to slant it at _Ridolt_. + + Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie, + And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye: + Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears, + Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears; + Her Gown with _Tyrian_ Dyes most richly stain'd, + Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd. + + _My Lord_, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three, + Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me, + The third dispose as you shall best adjudge, + Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge: + _Madam_ elate, thinks she'll be kind to _Betty_, + To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City: + But _Stallion Tom_, who well knew how to scold, + And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold, + Swears if _he_ has it not, he will reveal, + And to his Master tell a dismal Tale; + _Madam_, reluctant, gives him up the Paper; + He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper. + + _Sylvia_, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux, + Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose, + By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all, + In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall, + And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too, + Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due; + At last a brisk young _Templar_ full of Fire, + Whom Writs with _Money_, Wine with Love inspire, + Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms, + And for a Ticket flies into his Arms: + + So every _dapper Fop_ and _brawny Rake_ + Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make; + To Sin, the only certain Dedication, + To every gentle Mistress in the Nation, + From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion; + For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit, + But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis _forbidden Fruit_. + + _Near_ where _the Thames_ in pleasant Windings runs, + _Near_ where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns, + (Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains, + An Emblem terrible, but just retains.) + _Near_ where fam'd _Vaux_ was to have fled, + _With_ lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed; + Whence some pretend to say by second Sight, + That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night, + 'Cause here the Fair will many _Matches light_. + + _Spring-Gardens_ lie shaded with verdant Trees, + That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze; + Embassadors like _Turks_ hence send Express, + And _Ministers of State_ like Devils dress-- + + Should some wild _Indian_ see the various Scene, + He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene, + And take for quite reverse this medley Farce, + Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a _Mars_. + + But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round, + And with just Measures beat the passive Ground, + Each one inclines to different Delights-- + Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite; + The _Templar_ wisely does his Care enroll, + Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls + Nor will return to join the giddy Rout, + 'Till he has eat and drank his _Guinea_ out. + + Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys; + The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys; + _Strephon_ streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while, + By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile; + Soon they return more vig'rous than before, + Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore. + + For _Mahomet_ may dream of heavenly Stews, + Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews, + And shake with every Breath of Air serene, + As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen; + When if those past can shake their Height profound, + _Ridotto_ sure will fell them to the Ground; + Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat, + And Pyramids and Trees together meet; + Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise, + And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies; + Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays, + And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space; + Each joins to make it noble, and excells + Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else. + + But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn, + All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun; + A thousand Lights their livid Flames display, + Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day: + Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place, + And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace; + To see the sad Effect and Power of Change, + Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range: + Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars, + And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires. + _Belles, Beaux_, and Sharpers here together play, + And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away; + And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross, + They then _Cornute_ 'em to retrieve their Loss. + + _Dice_ and Intrigue so mutually are blended, + That one begins as soon as t'other's ended: + A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair, + Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care; + Against her fate a smooth young Baron, + Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on, + A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist, + In all Things suited to the modern Taste; + And most polite, like all our modish Brood, + That is, a very Fool, who's very leud: + He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside, + Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide; + At last (as Bargains here are quickly made) + She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid; + She cries, a private Room's for them most fit, + For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit; + This only is the Place, where in a Trice, + Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice; + The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains, + And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again. + + But who is he in Bower close confin'd, + With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind, + Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace, + It _Phoebus_ is, or some of heavenly Race. + + A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense, + Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P----ce. + + Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before, + For my Mistake depended on his Whore, + One had _Latona_ to'ther has _L----r_. + + Next to the _Grotto_ let us bend our Eye, + The _Grotto_, Patron of Iniquity, + Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade, + How many Whores have at your Roots been made; + Alas; how small the Number to what now, + This one, this happy Night, alone will shew + So many, that each conscious _Dryad_ flees, + Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees. + + Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear, + Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear: + The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate, + And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate; + So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame, + And to preserve the Honour of her Name; + For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs, + At the Room Door her good _Mamma_ appears, + Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure, + She charges her to keep her _Vessel pure_: + Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom, + _Mamma_, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room? + The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach, + Cries--_Well my Dear, don't take too much!_ + + Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night, + And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite; + Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day, + Others in Gambols with their Wh----es to play; + The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull, + If by good Chance, she gets a _Dupe_ or Cull; + On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more, + And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score. + + Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail, + And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale: + In _England_ they have given new Arts a Rise, + And what in Science wants, increase in Vice, + And to be great as Angels when they fell, + (If not exceed) at _least_ they equal _Hell_. + + + + +_FINIS._ + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Ladies Delight, by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT *** + +***** This file should be named 14005.txt or 14005.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/0/0/14005/ + +Produced by David Starner, David Garcia and the PG Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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