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diff --git a/1394.txt b/1394.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..16dadcf --- /dev/null +++ b/1394.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1681 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Holly-Tree, by Charles Dickens + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Holly-Tree + + +Author: Charles Dickens + +Release Date: April 3, 2005 [eBook #1394] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOLLY-TREE*** + + + + + +Transcribed from the 1894 Chapman and Hall edition of "Christmas Stories" +by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + + +THE HOLLY-TREE--THREE BRANCHES + + +FIRST BRANCH--MYSELF + + +I have kept one secret in the course of my life. I am a bashful man. +Nobody would suppose it, nobody ever does suppose it, nobody ever did +suppose it, but I am naturally a bashful man. This is the secret which I +have never breathed until now. + +I might greatly move the reader by some account of the innumerable places +I have not been to, the innumerable people I have not called upon or +received, the innumerable social evasions I have been guilty of, solely +because I am by original constitution and character a bashful man. But I +will leave the reader unmoved, and proceed with the object before me. + +That object is to give a plain account of my travels and discoveries in +the Holly-Tree Inn; in which place of good entertainment for man and +beast I was once snowed up. + +It happened in the memorable year when I parted for ever from Angela +Leath, whom I was shortly to have married, on making the discovery that +she preferred my bosom friend. From our school-days I had freely +admitted Edwin, in my own mind, to be far superior to myself; and, though +I was grievously wounded at heart, I felt the preference to be natural, +and tried to forgive them both. It was under these circumstances that I +resolved to go to America--on my way to the Devil. + +Communicating my discovery neither to Angela nor to Edwin, but resolving +to write each of them an affecting letter conveying my blessing and +forgiveness, which the steam-tender for shore should carry to the post +when I myself should be bound for the New World, far beyond recall,--I +say, locking up my grief in my own breast, and consoling myself as I +could with the prospect of being generous, I quietly left all I held +dear, and started on the desolate journey I have mentioned. + +The dead winter-time was in full dreariness when I left my chambers for +ever, at five o'clock in the morning. I had shaved by candle-light, of +course, and was miserably cold, and experienced that general +all-pervading sensation of getting up to be hanged which I have usually +found inseparable from untimely rising under such circumstances. + +How well I remember the forlorn aspect of Fleet Street when I came out of +the Temple! The street-lamps flickering in the gusty north-east wind, as +if the very gas were contorted with cold; the white-topped houses; the +bleak, star-lighted sky; the market people and other early stragglers, +trotting to circulate their almost frozen blood; the hospitable light and +warmth of the few coffee-shops and public-houses that were open for such +customers; the hard, dry, frosty rime with which the air was charged (the +wind had already beaten it into every crevice), and which lashed my face +like a steel whip. + +It wanted nine days to the end of the month, and end of the year. The +Post-office packet for the United States was to depart from Liverpool, +weather permitting, on the first of the ensuing month, and I had the +intervening time on my hands. I had taken this into consideration, and +had resolved to make a visit to a certain spot (which I need not name) on +the farther borders of Yorkshire. It was endeared to me by my having +first seen Angela at a farmhouse in that place, and my melancholy was +gratified by the idea of taking a wintry leave of it before my +expatriation. I ought to explain, that, to avoid being sought out before +my resolution should have been rendered irrevocable by being carried into +full effect, I had written to Angela overnight, in my usual manner, +lamenting that urgent business, of which she should know all particulars +by-and-by--took me unexpectedly away from her for a week or ten days. + +There was no Northern Railway at that time, and in its place there were +stage-coaches; which I occasionally find myself, in common with some +other people, affecting to lament now, but which everybody dreaded as a +very serious penance then. I had secured the box-seat on the fastest of +these, and my business in Fleet Street was to get into a cab with my +portmanteau, so to make the best of my way to the Peacock at Islington, +where I was to join this coach. But when one of our Temple watchmen, who +carried my portmanteau into Fleet Street for me, told me about the huge +blocks of ice that had for some days past been floating in the river, +having closed up in the night, and made a walk from the Temple Gardens +over to the Surrey shore, I began to ask myself the question, whether the +box-seat would not be likely to put a sudden and a frosty end to my +unhappiness. I was heart-broken, it is true, and yet I was not quite so +far gone as to wish to be frozen to death. + +When I got up to the Peacock,--where I found everybody drinking hot purl, +in self-preservation,--I asked if there were an inside seat to spare. I +then discovered that, inside or out, I was the only passenger. This gave +me a still livelier idea of the great inclemency of the weather, since +that coach always loaded particularly well. However, I took a little +purl (which I found uncommonly good), and got into the coach. When I was +seated, they built me up with straw to the waist, and, conscious of +making a rather ridiculous appearance, I began my journey. + +It was still dark when we left the Peacock. For a little while, pale, +uncertain ghosts of houses and trees appeared and vanished, and then it +was hard, black, frozen day. People were lighting their fires; smoke was +mounting straight up high into the rarified air; and we were rattling for +Highgate Archway over the hardest ground I have ever heard the ring of +iron shoes on. As we got into the country, everything seemed to have +grown old and gray. The roads, the trees, thatched roofs of cottages and +homesteads, the ricks in farmers' yards. Out-door work was abandoned, +horse-troughs at roadside inns were frozen hard, no stragglers lounged +about, doors were close shut, little turnpike houses had blazing fires +inside, and children (even turnpike people have children, and seem to +like them) rubbed the frost from the little panes of glass with their +chubby arms, that their bright eyes might catch a glimpse of the solitary +coach going by. I don't know when the snow begin to set in; but I know +that we were changing horses somewhere when I heard the guard remark, +"That the old lady up in the sky was picking her geese pretty hard to- +day." Then, indeed, I found the white down falling fast and thick. + +The lonely day wore on, and I dozed it out, as a lonely traveller does. I +was warm and valiant after eating and drinking,--particularly after +dinner; cold and depressed at all other times. I was always bewildered +as to time and place, and always more or less out of my senses. The +coach and horses seemed to execute in chorus Auld Lang Syne, without a +moment's intermission. They kept the time and tune with the greatest +regularity, and rose into the swell at the beginning of the Refrain, with +a precision that worried me to death. While we changed horses, the guard +and coachman went stumping up and down the road, printing off their shoes +in the snow, and poured so much liquid consolation into themselves +without being any the worse for it, that I began to confound them, as it +darkened again, with two great white casks standing on end. Our horses +tumbled down in solitary places, and we got them up,--which was the +pleasantest variety _I_ had, for it warmed me. And it snowed and snowed, +and still it snowed, and never left off snowing. All night long we went +on in this manner. Thus we came round the clock, upon the Great North +Road, to the performance of Auld Lang Syne by day again. And it snowed +and snowed, and still it snowed, and never left off snowing. + +I forget now where we were at noon on the second day, and where we ought +to have been; but I know that we were scores of miles behindhand, and +that our case was growing worse every hour. The drift was becoming +prodigiously deep; landmarks were getting snowed out; the road and the +fields were all one; instead of having fences and hedge-rows to guide us, +we went crunching on over an unbroken surface of ghastly white that might +sink beneath us at any moment and drop us down a whole hillside. Still +the coachman and guard--who kept together on the box, always in council, +and looking well about them--made out the track with astonishing +sagacity. + +When we came in sight of a town, it looked, to my fancy, like a large +drawing on a slate, with abundance of slate-pencil expended on the +churches and houses where the snow lay thickest. When we came within a +town, and found the church clocks all stopped, the dial-faces choked with +snow, and the inn-signs blotted out, it seemed as if the whole place were +overgrown with white moss. As to the coach, it was a mere snowball; +similarly, the men and boys who ran along beside us to the town's end, +turning our clogged wheels and encouraging our horses, were men and boys +of snow; and the bleak wild solitude to which they at last dismissed us +was a snowy Sahara. One would have thought this enough: notwithstanding +which, I pledge my word that it snowed and snowed, and still it snowed, +and never left off snowing. + +We performed Auld Lang Syne the whole day; seeing nothing, out of towns +and villages, but the track of stoats, hares, and foxes, and sometimes of +birds. At nine o'clock at night, on a Yorkshire moor, a cheerful burst +from our horn, and a welcome sound of talking, with a glimmering and +moving about of lanterns, roused me from my drowsy state. I found that +we were going to change. + +They helped me out, and I said to a waiter, whose bare head became as +white as King Lear's in a single minute, "What Inn is this?" + +"The Holly-Tree, sir," said he. + +"Upon my word, I believe," said I, apologetically, to the guard and +coachman, "that I must stop here." + +Now the landlord, and the landlady, and the ostler, and the post-boy, and +all the stable authorities, had already asked the coachman, to the wide- +eyed interest of all the rest of the establishment, if he meant to go on. +The coachman had already replied, "Yes, he'd take her through +it,"--meaning by Her the coach,--"if so be as George would stand by him." +George was the guard, and he had already sworn that he would stand by +him. So the helpers were already getting the horses out. + +My declaring myself beaten, after this parley, was not an announcement +without preparation. Indeed, but for the way to the announcement being +smoothed by the parley, I more than doubt whether, as an innately bashful +man, I should have had the confidence to make it. As it was, it received +the approval even of the guard and coachman. Therefore, with many +confirmations of my inclining, and many remarks from one bystander to +another, that the gentleman could go for'ard by the mail to-morrow, +whereas to-night he would only be froze, and where was the good of a +gentleman being froze--ah, let alone buried alive (which latter clause +was added by a humorous helper as a joke at my expense, and was extremely +well received), I saw my portmanteau got out stiff, like a frozen body; +did the handsome thing by the guard and coachman; wished them good-night +and a prosperous journey; and, a little ashamed of myself, after all, for +leaving them to fight it out alone, followed the landlord, landlady, and +waiter of the Holly-Tree up-stairs. + +I thought I had never seen such a large room as that into which they +showed me. It had five windows, with dark red curtains that would have +absorbed the light of a general illumination; and there were +complications of drapery at the top of the curtains, that went wandering +about the wall in a most extraordinary manner. I asked for a smaller +room, and they told me there was no smaller room. + +They could screen me in, however, the landlord said. They brought a +great old japanned screen, with natives (Japanese, I suppose) engaged in +a variety of idiotic pursuits all over it; and left me roasting whole +before an immense fire. + +My bedroom was some quarter of a mile off, up a great staircase at the +end of a long gallery; and nobody knows what a misery this is to a +bashful man who would rather not meet people on the stairs. It was the +grimmest room I have ever had the nightmare in; and all the furniture, +from the four posts of the bed to the two old silver candle-sticks, was +tall, high-shouldered, and spindle-waisted. Below, in my sitting-room, +if I looked round my screen, the wind rushed at me like a mad bull; if I +stuck to my arm-chair, the fire scorched me to the colour of a new brick. +The chimney-piece was very high, and there was a bad glass--what I may +call a wavy glass--above it, which, when I stood up, just showed me my +anterior phrenological developments,--and these never look well, in any +subject, cut short off at the eyebrow. If I stood with my back to the +fire, a gloomy vault of darkness above and beyond the screen insisted on +being looked at; and, in its dim remoteness, the drapery of the ten +curtains of the five windows went twisting and creeping about, like a +nest of gigantic worms. + +I suppose that what I observe in myself must be observed by some other +men of similar character in _themselves_; therefore I am emboldened to +mention, that, when I travel, I never arrive at a place but I immediately +want to go away from it. Before I had finished my supper of broiled fowl +and mulled port, I had impressed upon the waiter in detail my +arrangements for departure in the morning. Breakfast and bill at eight. +Fly at nine. Two horses, or, if needful, even four. + +Tired though I was, the night appeared about a week long. In cases of +nightmare, I thought of Angela, and felt more depressed than ever by the +reflection that I was on the shortest road to Gretna Green. What had _I_ +to do with Gretna Green? I was not going _that_ way to the Devil, but by +the American route, I remarked in my bitterness. + +In the morning I found that it was snowing still, that it had snowed all +night, and that I was snowed up. Nothing could get out of that spot on +the moor, or could come at it, until the road had been cut out by +labourers from the market-town. When they might cut their way to the +Holly-Tree nobody could tell me. + +It was now Christmas-eve. I should have had a dismal Christmas-time of +it anywhere, and consequently that did not so much matter; still, being +snowed up was like dying of frost, a thing I had not bargained for. I +felt very lonely. Yet I could no more have proposed to the landlord and +landlady to admit me to their society (though I should have liked it--very +much) than I could have asked them to present me with a piece of plate. +Here my great secret, the real bashfulness of my character, is to be +observed. Like most bashful men, I judge of other people as if they were +bashful too. Besides being far too shamefaced to make the proposal +myself, I really had a delicate misgiving that it would be in the last +degree disconcerting to them. + +Trying to settle down, therefore, in my solitude, I first of all asked +what books there were in the house. The waiter brought me a _Book of +Roads_, two or three old Newspapers, a little Song-Book, terminating in a +collection of Toasts and Sentiments, a little Jest-Book, an odd volume of +_Peregrine Pickle_, and the _Sentimental Journey_. I knew every word of +the two last already, but I read them through again, then tried to hum +all the songs (Auld Lang Syne was among them); went entirely through the +jokes,--in which I found a fund of melancholy adapted to my state of +mind; proposed all the toasts, enunciated all the sentiments, and +mastered the papers. The latter had nothing in them but stock +advertisements, a meeting about a county rate, and a highway robbery. As +I am a greedy reader, I could not make this supply hold out until night; +it was exhausted by tea-time. Being then entirely cast upon my own +resources, I got through an hour in considering what to do next. +Ultimately, it came into my head (from which I was anxious by any means +to exclude Angela and Edwin), that I would endeavour to recall my +experience of Inns, and would try how long it lasted me. I stirred the +fire, moved my chair a little to one side of the screen,--not daring to +go far, for I knew the wind was waiting to make a rush at me, I could +hear it growling,--and began. + +My first impressions of an Inn dated from the Nursery; consequently I +went back to the Nursery for a starting-point, and found myself at the +knee of a sallow woman with a fishy eye, an aquiline nose, and a green +gown, whose specially was a dismal narrative of a landlord by the +roadside, whose visitors unaccountably disappeared for many years, until +it was discovered that the pursuit of his life had been to convert them +into pies. For the better devotion of himself to this branch of +industry, he had constructed a secret door behind the head of the bed; +and when the visitor (oppressed with pie) had fallen asleep, this wicked +landlord would look softly in with a lamp in one hand and a knife in the +other, would cut his throat, and would make him into pies; for which +purpose he had coppers, underneath a trap-door, always boiling; and +rolled out his pastry in the dead of the night. Yet even he was not +insensible to the stings of conscience, for he never went to sleep +without being heard to mutter, "Too much pepper!" which was eventually +the cause of his being brought to justice. I had no sooner disposed of +this criminal than there started up another of the same period, whose +profession was originally house-breaking; in the pursuit of which art he +had had his right ear chopped off one night, as he was burglariously +getting in at a window, by a brave and lovely servant-maid (whom the +aquiline-nosed woman, though not at all answering the description, always +mysteriously implied to be herself). After several years, this brave and +lovely servant-maid was married to the landlord of a country Inn; which +landlord had this remarkable characteristic, that he always wore a silk +nightcap, and never would on any consideration take it off. At last, one +night, when he was fast asleep, the brave and lovely woman lifted up his +silk nightcap on the right side, and found that he had no ear there; upon +which she sagaciously perceived that he was the clipped housebreaker, who +had married her with the intention of putting her to death. She +immediately heated the poker and terminated his career, for which she was +taken to King George upon his throne, and received the compliments of +royalty on her great discretion and valour. This same narrator, who had +a Ghoulish pleasure, I have long been persuaded, in terrifying me to the +utmost confines of my reason, had another authentic anecdote within her +own experience, founded, I now believe, upon _Raymond and Agnes, or the +Bleeding Nun_. She said it happened to her brother-in-law, who was +immensely rich,--which my father was not; and immensely tall,--which my +father was not. It was always a point with this Ghoul to present my +clearest relations and friends to my youthful mind under circumstances of +disparaging contrast. The brother-in-law was riding once through a +forest on a magnificent horse (we had no magnificent horse at our house), +attended by a favourite and valuable Newfoundland dog (we had no dog), +when he found himself benighted, and came to an Inn. A dark woman opened +the door, and he asked her if he could have a bed there. She answered +yes, and put his horse in the stable, and took him into a room where +there were two dark men. While he was at supper, a parrot in the room +began to talk, saying, "Blood, blood! Wipe up the blood!" Upon which +one of the dark men wrung the parrot's neck, and said he was fond of +roasted parrots, and he meant to have this one for breakfast in the +morning. After eating and drinking heartily, the immensely rich, tall +brother-in-law went up to bed; but he was rather vexed, because they had +shut his dog in the stable, saying that they never allowed dogs in the +house. He sat very quiet for more than an hour, thinking and thinking, +when, just as his candle was burning out, he heard a scratch at the door. +He opened the door, and there was the Newfoundland dog! The dog came +softly in, smelt about him, went straight to some straw in the corner +which the dark men had said covered apples, tore the straw away, and +disclosed two sheets steeped in blood. Just at that moment the candle +went out, and the brother-in-law, looking through a chink in the door, +saw the two dark men stealing up-stairs; one armed with a dagger that +long (about five feet); the other carrying a chopper, a sack, and a +spade. Having no remembrance of the close of this adventure, I suppose +my faculties to have been always so frozen with terror at this stage of +it, that the power of listening stagnated within me for some quarter of +an hour. + +These barbarous stories carried me, sitting there on the Holly-Tree +hearth, to the Roadside Inn, renowned in my time in a sixpenny book with +a folding plate, representing in a central compartment of oval form the +portrait of Jonathan Bradford, and in four corner compartments four +incidents of the tragedy with which the name is associated,--coloured +with a hand at once so free and economical, that the bloom of Jonathan's +complexion passed without any pause into the breeches of the ostler, and, +smearing itself off into the next division, became rum in a bottle. Then +I remembered how the landlord was found at the murdered traveller's +bedside, with his own knife at his feet, and blood upon his hand; how he +was hanged for the murder, notwithstanding his protestation that he had +indeed come there to kill the traveller for his saddle-bags, but had been +stricken motionless on finding him already slain; and how the ostler, +years afterwards, owned the deed. By this time I had made myself quite +uncomfortable. I stirred the fire, and stood with my back to it as long +as I could bear the heat, looking up at the darkness beyond the screen, +and at the wormy curtains creeping in and creeping out, like the worms in +the ballad of Alonzo the Brave and the Fair Imogene. + +There was an Inn in the cathedral town where I went to school, which had +pleasanter recollections about it than any of these. I took it next. It +was the Inn where friends used to put up, and where we used to go to see +parents, and to have salmon and fowls, and be tipped. It had an +ecclesiastical sign,--the Mitre,--and a bar that seemed to be the next +best thing to a bishopric, it was so snug. I loved the landlord's +youngest daughter to distraction,--but let that pass. It was in this Inn +that I was cried over by my rosy little sister, because I had acquired a +black eye in a fight. And though she had been, that Holly-Tree night, +for many a long year where all tears are dried, the Mitre softened me +yet. + +"To be continued to-morrow," said I, when I took my candle to go to bed. +But my bed took it upon itself to continue the train of thought that +night. It carried me away, like the enchanted carpet, to a distant place +(though still in England), and there, alighting from a stage-coach at +another Inn in the snow, as I had actually done some years before, I +repeated in my sleep a curious experience I had really had there. More +than a year before I made the journey in the course of which I put up at +that Inn, I had lost a very near and dear friend by death. Every night +since, at home or away from home, I had dreamed of that friend; sometimes +as still living; sometimes as returning from the world of shadows to +comfort me; always as being beautiful, placid, and happy, never in +association with any approach to fear or distress. It was at a lonely +Inn in a wide moorland place, that I halted to pass the night. When I +had looked from my bedroom window over the waste of snow on which the +moon was shining, I sat down by my fire to write a letter. I had always, +until that hour, kept it within my own breast that I dreamed every night +of the dear lost one. But in the letter that I wrote I recorded the +circumstance, and added that I felt much interested in proving whether +the subject of my dream would still be faithful to me, travel-tired, and +in that remote place. No. I lost the beloved figure of my vision in +parting with the secret. My sleep has never looked upon it since, in +sixteen years, but once. I was in Italy, and awoke (or seemed to awake), +the well-remembered voice distinctly in my ears, conversing with it. I +entreated it, as it rose above my bed and soared up to the vaulted roof +of the old room, to answer me a question I had asked touching the Future +Life. My hands were still outstretched towards it as it vanished, when I +heard a bell ringing by the garden wall, and a voice in the deep +stillness of the night calling on all good Christians to pray for the +souls of the dead; it being All Souls' Eve. + +To return to the Holly-Tree. When I awoke next day, it was freezing +hard, and the lowering sky threatened more snow. My breakfast cleared +away, I drew my chair into its former place, and, with the fire getting +so much the better of the landscape that I sat in twilight, resumed my +Inn remembrances. + +That was a good Inn down in Wiltshire where I put up once, in the days of +the hard Wiltshire ale, and before all beer was bitterness. It was on +the skirts of Salisbury Plain, and the midnight wind that rattled my +lattice window came moaning at me from Stonehenge. There was a hanger-on +at that establishment (a supernaturally preserved Druid I believe him to +have been, and to be still), with long white hair, and a flinty blue eye +always looking afar off; who claimed to have been a shepherd, and who +seemed to be ever watching for the reappearance, on the verge of the +horizon, of some ghostly flock of sheep that had been mutton for many +ages. He was a man with a weird belief in him that no one could count +the stones of Stonehenge twice, and make the same number of them; +likewise, that any one who counted them three times nine times, and then +stood in the centre and said, "I dare!" would behold a tremendous +apparition, and be stricken dead. He pretended to have seen a bustard (I +suspect him to have been familiar with the dodo), in manner following: He +was out upon the plain at the close of a late autumn day, when he dimly +discerned, going on before him at a curious fitfully bounding pace, what +he at first supposed to be a gig-umbrella that had been blown from some +conveyance, but what he presently believed to be a lean dwarf man upon a +little pony. Having followed this object for some distance without +gaining on it, and having called to it many times without receiving any +answer, he pursued it for miles and miles, when, at length coming up with +it, he discovered it to be the last bustard in Great Britain, degenerated +into a wingless state, and running along the ground. Resolved to capture +him or perish in the attempt, he closed with the bustard; but the +bustard, who had formed a counter-resolution that he should do neither, +threw him, stunned him, and was last seen making off due west. This +weird main, at that stage of metempsychosis, may have been a sleep-walker +or an enthusiast or a robber; but I awoke one night to find him in the +dark at my bedside, repeating the Athanasian Creed in a terrific voice. I +paid my bill next day, and retired from the county with all possible +precipitation. + +That was not a commonplace story which worked itself out at a little Inn +in Switzerland, while I was staying there. It was a very homely place, +in a village of one narrow zigzag street, among mountains, and you went +in at the main door through the cow-house, and among the mules and the +dogs and the fowls, before ascending a great bare staircase to the rooms; +which were all of unpainted wood, without plastering or papering,--like +rough packing-cases. Outside there was nothing but the straggling +street, a little toy church with a copper-coloured steeple, a pine +forest, a torrent, mists, and mountain-sides. A young man belonging to +this Inn had disappeared eight weeks before (it was winter-time), and was +supposed to have had some undiscovered love affair, and to have gone for +a soldier. He had got up in the night, and dropped into the village +street from the loft in which he slept with another man; and he had done +it so quietly, that his companion and fellow-labourer had heard no +movement when he was awakened in the morning, and they said, "Louis, +where is Henri?" They looked for him high and low, in vain, and gave him +up. Now, outside this Inn, there stood, as there stood outside every +dwelling in the village, a stack of firewood; but the stack belonging to +the Inn was higher than any of the rest, because the Inn was the richest +house, and burnt the most fuel. It began to be noticed, while they were +looking high and low, that a Bantam cock, part of the live stock of the +Inn, put himself wonderfully out of his way to get to the top of this +wood-stack; and that he would stay there for hours and hours, crowing, +until he appeared in danger of splitting himself. Five weeks went +on,--six weeks,--and still this terrible Bantam, neglecting his domestic +affairs, was always on the top of the wood-stack, crowing the very eyes +out of his head. By this time it was perceived that Louis had become +inspired with a violent animosity towards the terrible Bantam, and one +morning he was seen by a woman, who sat nursing her goitre at a little +window in a gleam of sun, to catch up a rough billet of wood, with a +great oath, hurl it at the terrible Bantam crowing on the wood-stack, and +bring him down dead. Hereupon the woman, with a sudden light in her +mind, stole round to the back of the wood-stack, and, being a good +climber, as all those women are, climbed up, and soon was seen upon the +summit, screaming, looking down the hollow within, and crying, "Seize +Louis, the murderer! Ring the church bell! Here is the body!" I saw +the murderer that day, and I saw him as I sat by my fire at the Holly- +Tree Inn, and I see him now, lying shackled with cords on the stable +litter, among the mild eyes and the smoking breath of the cows, waiting +to be taken away by the police, and stared at by the fearful village. A +heavy animal,--the dullest animal in the stables,--with a stupid head, +and a lumpish face devoid of any trace of insensibility, who had been, +within the knowledge of the murdered youth, an embezzler of certain small +moneys belonging to his master, and who had taken this hopeful mode of +putting a possible accuser out of his way. All of which he confessed +next day, like a sulky wretch who couldn't be troubled any more, now that +they had got hold of him, and meant to make an end of him. I saw him +once again, on the day of my departure from the Inn. In that Canton the +headsman still does his office with a sword; and I came upon this +murderer sitting bound, to a chair, with his eyes bandaged, on a scaffold +in a little market-place. In that instant, a great sword (loaded with +quicksilver in the thick part of the blade) swept round him like a gust +of wind or fire, and there was no such creature in the world. My wonder +was, not that he was so suddenly dispatched, but that any head was left +unreaped, within a radius of fifty yards of that tremendous sickle. + +That was a good Inn, too, with the kind, cheerful landlady and the honest +landlord, where I lived in the shadow of Mont Blanc, and where one of the +apartments has a zoological papering on the walls, not so accurately +joined but that the elephant occasionally rejoices in a tiger's hind legs +and tail, while the lion puts on a trunk and tusks, and the bear, +moulting as it were, appears as to portions of himself like a leopard. I +made several American friends at that Inn, who all called Mont Blanc +Mount Blank,--except one good-humoured gentleman, of a very sociable +nature, who became on such intimate terms with it that he spoke of it +familiarly as "Blank;" observing, at breakfast, "Blank looks pretty tall +this morning;" or considerably doubting in the courtyard in the evening, +whether there warn't some go-ahead naters in our country, sir, that would +make out the top of Blank in a couple of hours from first start--now! + +Once I passed a fortnight at an Inn in the North of England, where I was +haunted by the ghost of a tremendous pie. It was a Yorkshire pie, like a +fort,--an abandoned fort with nothing in it; but the waiter had a fixed +idea that it was a point of ceremony at every meal to put the pie on the +table. After some days I tried to hint, in several delicate ways, that I +considered the pie done with; as, for example, by emptying fag-ends of +glasses of wine into it; putting cheese-plates and spoons into it, as +into a basket; putting wine-bottles into it, as into a cooler; but always +in vain, the pie being invariably cleaned out again and brought up as +before. At last, beginning to be doubtful whether I was not the victim +of a spectral illusion, and whether my health and spirits might not sink +under the horrors of an imaginary pie, I cut a triangle out of it, fully +as large as the musical instrument of that name in a powerful orchestra. +Human provision could not have foreseen the result--but the waiter mended +the pie. With some effectual species of cement, he adroitly fitted the +triangle in again, and I paid my reckoning and fled. + +The Holly-Tree was getting rather dismal. I made an overland expedition +beyond the screen, and penetrated as far as the fourth window. Here I +was driven back by stress of weather. Arrived at my winter-quarters once +more, I made up the fire, and took another Inn. + +It was in the remotest part of Cornwall. A great annual Miners' Feast +was being holden at the Inn, when I and my travelling companions +presented ourselves at night among the wild crowd that were dancing +before it by torchlight. We had had a break-down in the dark, on a stony +morass some miles away; and I had the honour of leading one of the +unharnessed post-horses. If any lady or gentleman, on perusal of the +present lines, will take any very tall post-horse with his traces hanging +about his legs, and will conduct him by the bearing-rein into the heart +of a country dance of a hundred and fifty couples, that lady or gentleman +will then, and only then, form an adequate idea of the extent to which +that post-horse will tread on his conductor's toes. Over and above +which, the post-horse, finding three hundred people whirling about him, +will probably rear, and also lash out with his hind legs, in a manner +incompatible with dignity or self-respect on his conductor's part. With +such little drawbacks on my usually impressive aspect, I appeared at this +Cornish Inn, to the unutterable wonder of the Cornish Miners. It was +full, and twenty times full, and nobody could be received but the post- +horse,--though to get rid of that noble animal was something. While my +fellow-travellers and I were discussing how to pass the night and so much +of the next day as must intervene before the jovial blacksmith and the +jovial wheelwright would be in a condition to go out on the morass and +mend the coach, an honest man stepped forth from the crowd and proposed +his unlet floor of two rooms, with supper of eggs and bacon, ale and +punch. We joyfully accompanied him home to the strangest of clean +houses, where we were well entertained to the satisfaction of all +parties. But the novel feature of the entertainment was, that our host +was a chair-maker, and that the chairs assigned to us were mere frames, +altogether without bottoms of any sort; so that we passed the evening on +perches. Nor was this the absurdest consequence; for when we unbent at +supper, and any one of us gave way to laughter, he forgot the peculiarity +of his position, and instantly disappeared. I myself, doubled up into an +attitude from which self-extrication was impossible, was taken out of my +frame, like a clown in a comic pantomime who has tumbled into a tub, five +times by the taper's light during the eggs and bacon. + +The Holly-Tree was fast reviving within me a sense of loneliness. I +began to feel conscious that my subject would never carry on until I was +dug out. I might be a week here,--weeks! + +There was a story with a singular idea in it, connected with an Inn I +once passed a night at in a picturesque old town on the Welsh border. In +a large double-bedded room of this Inn there had been a suicide committed +by poison, in one bed, while a tired traveller slept unconscious in the +other. After that time, the suicide bed was never used, but the other +constantly was; the disused bedstead remaining in the room empty, though +as to all other respects in its old state. The story ran, that whosoever +slept in this room, though never so entire a stranger, from never so far +off, was invariably observed to come down in the morning with an +impression that he smelt Laudanum, and that his mind always turned upon +the subject of suicide; to which, whatever kind of man he might be, he +was certain to make some reference if he conversed with any one. This +went on for years, until it at length induced the landlord to take the +disused bedstead down, and bodily burn it,--bed, hangings, and all. The +strange influence (this was the story) now changed to a fainter one, but +never changed afterwards. The occupant of that room, with occasional but +very rare exceptions, would come down in the morning, trying to recall a +forgotten dream he had had in the night. The landlord, on his mentioning +his perplexity, would suggest various commonplace subjects, not one of +which, as he very well knew, was the true subject. But the moment the +landlord suggested "Poison," the traveller started, and cried, "Yes!" He +never failed to accept that suggestion, and he never recalled any more of +the dream. + +This reminiscence brought the Welsh Inns in general before me; with the +women in their round hats, and the harpers with their white beards +(venerable, but humbugs, I am afraid), playing outside the door while I +took my dinner. The transition was natural to the Highland Inns, with +the oatmeal bannocks, the honey, the venison steaks, the trout from the +loch, the whisky, and perhaps (having the materials so temptingly at +hand) the Athol brose. Once was I coming south from the Scottish +Highlands in hot haste, hoping to change quickly at the station at the +bottom of a certain wild historical glen, when these eyes did with +mortification see the landlord come out with a telescope and sweep the +whole prospect for the horses; which horses were away picking up their +own living, and did not heave in sight under four hours. Having thought +of the loch-trout, I was taken by quick association to the Anglers' Inns +of England (I have assisted at innumerable feats of angling by lying in +the bottom of the boat, whole summer days, doing nothing with the +greatest perseverance; which I have generally found to be as effectual +towards the taking of fish as the finest tackle and the utmost science), +and to the pleasant white, clean, flower-pot-decorated bedrooms of those +inns, overlooking the river, and the ferry, and the green ait, and the +church-spire, and the country bridge; and to the pearless Emma with the +bright eyes and the pretty smile, who waited, bless her! with a natural +grace that would have converted Blue-Beard. Casting my eyes upon my +Holly-Tree fire, I next discerned among the glowing coals the pictures of +a score or more of those wonderful English posting-inns which we are all +so sorry to have lost, which were so large and so comfortable, and which +were such monuments of British submission to rapacity and extortion. He +who would see these houses pining away, let him walk from Basingstoke, or +even Windsor, to London, by way of Hounslow, and moralise on their +perishing remains; the stables crumbling to dust; unsettled labourers and +wanderers bivouacking in the outhouses; grass growing in the yards; the +rooms, where erst so many hundred beds of down were made up, let off to +Irish lodgers at eighteenpence a week; a little ill-looking beer-shop +shrinking in the tap of former days, burning coach-house gates for +firewood, having one of its two windows bunged up, as if it had received +punishment in a fight with the Railroad; a low, bandy-legged, +brick-making bulldog standing in the doorway. What could I next see in +my fire so naturally as the new railway-house of these times near the +dismal country station; with nothing particular on draught but cold air +and damp, nothing worth mentioning in the larder but new mortar, and no +business doing beyond a conceited affectation of luggage in the hall? +Then I came to the Inns of Paris, with the pretty apartment of four +pieces up one hundred and seventy-five waxed stairs, the privilege of +ringing the bell all day long without influencing anybody's mind or body +but your own, and the not-too-much-for-dinner, considering the price. +Next to the provincial Inns of France, with the great church-tower rising +above the courtyard, the horse-bells jingling merrily up and down the +street beyond, and the clocks of all descriptions in all the rooms, which +are never right, unless taken at the precise minute when, by getting +exactly twelve hours too fast or too slow, they unintentionally become +so. Away I went, next, to the lesser roadside Inns of Italy; where all +the dirty clothes in the house (not in wear) are always lying in your +anteroom; where the mosquitoes make a raisin pudding of your face in +summer, and the cold bites it blue in winter; where you get what you can, +and forget what you can't: where I should again like to be boiling my tea +in a pocket-handkerchief dumpling, for want of a teapot. So to the old +palace Inns and old monastery Inns, in towns and cities of the same +bright country; with their massive quadrangular staircases, whence you +may look from among clustering pillars high into the blue vault of +heaven; with their stately banqueting-rooms, and vast refectories; with +their labyrinths of ghostly bedchambers, and their glimpses into gorgeous +streets that have no appearance of reality or possibility. So to the +close little Inns of the Malaria districts, with their pale attendants, +and their peculiar smell of never letting in the air. So to the immense +fantastic Inns of Venice, with the cry of the gondolier below, as he +skims the corner; the grip of the watery odours on one particular little +bit of the bridge of your nose (which is never released while you stay +there); and the great bell of St. Mark's Cathedral tolling midnight. Next +I put up for a minute at the restless Inns upon the Rhine, where your +going to bed, no matter at what hour, appears to be the tocsin for +everybody else's getting up; and where, in the table-d'hote room at the +end of the long table (with several Towers of Babel on it at the other +end, all made of white plates), one knot of stoutish men, entirely +dressed in jewels and dirt, and having nothing else upon them, _will_ +remain all night, clinking glasses, and singing about the river that +flows, and the grape that grows, and Rhine wine that beguiles, and Rhine +woman that smiles and hi drink drink my friend and ho drink drink my +brother, and all the rest of it. I departed thence, as a matter of +course, to other German Inns, where all the eatables are soddened down to +the same flavour, and where the mind is disturbed by the apparition of +hot puddings, and boiled cherries, sweet and slab, at awfully unexpected +periods of the repast. After a draught of sparkling beer from a foaming +glass jug, and a glance of recognition through the windows of the student +beer-houses at Heidelberg and elsewhere, I put out to sea for the Inns of +America, with their four hundred beds apiece, and their eight or nine +hundred ladies and gentlemen at dinner every day. Again I stood in the +bar-rooms thereof, taking my evening cobbler, julep, sling, or cocktail. +Again I listened to my friend the General,--whom I had known for five +minutes, in the course of which period he had made me intimate for life +with two Majors, who again had made me intimate for life with three +Colonels, who again had made me brother to twenty-two civilians,--again, +I say, I listened to my friend the General, leisurely expounding the +resources of the establishment, as to gentlemen's morning-room, sir; +ladies' morning-room, sir; gentlemen's evening-room, sir; ladies' evening- +room, sir; ladies' and gentlemen's evening reuniting-room, sir; music- +room, sir; reading-room, sir; over four hundred sleeping-rooms, sir; and +the entire planned and finited within twelve calendar months from the +first clearing off of the old encumbrances on the plot, at a cost of five +hundred thousand dollars, sir. Again I found, as to my individual way of +thinking, that the greater, the more gorgeous, and the more dollarous the +establishment was, the less desirable it was. Nevertheless, again I +drank my cobbler, julep, sling, or cocktail, in all good-will, to my +friend the General, and my friends the Majors, Colonels, and civilians +all; full well knowing that, whatever little motes my beamy eyes may have +descried in theirs, they belong to a kind, generous, large-hearted, and +great people. + +I had been going on lately at a quick pace to keep my solitude out of my +mind; but here I broke down for good, and gave up the subject. What was +I to do? What was to become of me? Into what extremity was I +submissively to sink? Supposing that, like Baron Trenck, I looked out +for a mouse or spider, and found one, and beguiled my imprisonment by +training it? Even that might be dangerous with a view to the future. I +might be so far gone when the road did come to be cut through the snow, +that, on my way forth, I might burst into tears, and beseech, like the +prisoner who was released in his old age from the Bastille, to be taken +back again to the five windows, the ten curtains, and the sinuous +drapery. + +A desperate idea came into my head. Under any other circumstances I +should have rejected it; but, in the strait at which I was, I held it +fast. Could I so far overcome the inherent bashfulness which withheld me +from the landlord's table and the company I might find there, as to call +up the Boots, and ask him to take a chair,--and something in a liquid +form,--and talk to me? I could, I would, I did. + + + + +SECOND BRANCH--THE BOOTS + + +Where had he been in his time? he repeated, when I asked him the +question. Lord, he had been everywhere! And what had he been? Bless +you, he had been everything you could mention a'most! + +Seen a good deal? Why, of course he had. I should say so, he could +assure me, if I only knew about a twentieth part of what had come in his +way. Why, it would be easier for him, he expected, to tell what he +hadn't seen than what he had. Ah! A deal, it would. + +What was the curiousest thing he had seen? Well! He didn't know. He +couldn't momently name what was the curiousest thing he had seen--unless +it was a Unicorn, and he see _him_ once at a Fair. But supposing a young +gentleman not eight year old was to run away with a fine young woman of +seven, might I think _that_ a queer start? Certainly. Then that was a +start as he himself had had his blessed eyes on, and he had cleaned the +shoes they run away in--and they was so little that he couldn't get his +hand into 'em. + +Master Harry Walmers' father, you see, he lived at the Elmses, down away +by Shooter's Hill there, six or seven miles from Lunnon. He was a +gentleman of spirit, and good-looking, and held his head up when he +walked, and had what you may call Fire about him. He wrote poetry, and +he rode, and he ran, and he cricketed, and he danced, and he acted, and +he done it all equally beautiful. He was uncommon proud of Master Harry +as was his only child; but he didn't spoil him neither. He was a +gentleman that had a will of his own and a eye of his own, and that would +be minded. Consequently, though he made quite a companion of the fine +bright boy, and was delighted to see him so fond of reading his fairy +books, and was never tired of hearing him say my name is Norval, or +hearing him sing his songs about Young May Moons is beaming love, and +When he as adores thee has left but the name, and that; still he kept the +command over the child, and the child _was_ a child, and it's to be +wished more of 'em was! + +How did Boots happen to know all this? Why, through being +under-gardener. Of course he couldn't be under-gardener, and be always +about, in the summer-time, near the windows on the lawn, a mowing, and +sweeping, and weeding, and pruning, and this and that, without getting +acquainted with the ways of the family. Even supposing Master Harry +hadn't come to him one morning early, and said, "Cobbs, how should you +spell Norah, if you was asked?" and then began cutting it in print all +over the fence. + +He couldn't say he had taken particular notice of children before that; +but really it was pretty to see them two mites a going about the place +together, deep in love. And the courage of the boy! Bless your soul, +he'd have throwed off his little hat, and tucked up his little sleeves, +and gone in at a Lion, he would, if they had happened to meet one, and +she had been frightened of him. One day he stops, along with her, where +Boots was hoeing weeds in the gravel, and says, speaking up, "Cobbs," he +says, "I like _you_." "Do you, sir? I'm proud to hear it." "Yes, I do, +Cobbs. Why do I like you, do you think, Cobbs?" "Don't know, Master +Harry, I am sure." "Because Norah likes you, Cobbs." "Indeed, sir? +That's very gratifying." "Gratifying, Cobbs? It's better than millions +of the brightest diamonds to be liked by Norah." "Certainly, sir." +"You're going away, ain't you, Cobbs?" "Yes, sir." "Would you like +another situation, Cobbs?" "Well, sir, I shouldn't object, if it was a +good Inn." "Then, Cobbs," says he, "you shall be our Head Gardener when +we are married." And he tucks her, in her little sky-blue mantle, under +his arm, and walks away. + +Boots could assure me that it was better than a picter, and equal to a +play, to see them babies, with their long, bright, curling hair, their +sparkling eyes, and their beautiful light tread, a rambling about the +garden, deep in love. Boots was of opinion that the birds believed they +was birds, and kept up with 'em, singing to please 'em. Sometimes they +would creep under the Tulip-tree, and would sit there with their arms +round one another's necks, and their soft cheeks touching, a reading +about the Prince and the Dragon, and the good and bad enchanters, and the +king's fair daughter. Sometimes he would hear them planning about having +a house in a forest, keeping bees and a cow, and living entirely on milk +and honey. Once he came upon them by the pond, and heard Master Harry +say, "Adorable Norah, kiss me, and say you love me to distraction, or +I'll jump in head-foremost." And Boots made no question he would have +done it if she hadn't complied. On the whole, Boots said it had a +tendency to make him feel as if he was in love himself--only he didn't +exactly know who with. + +"Cobbs," said Master Harry, one evening, when Cobbs was watering the +flowers, "I am going on a visit, this present Midsummer, to my +grandmamma's at York." + +"Are you indeed, sir? I hope you'll have a pleasant time. I am going +into Yorkshire, myself, when I leave here." + +"Are you going to your grandmamma's, Cobbs?" + +"No, sir. I haven't got such a thing." + +"Not as a grandmamma, Cobbs?" + +"No, sir." + +The boy looked on at the watering of the flowers for a little while, and +then said, "I shall be very glad indeed to go, Cobbs,--Norah's going." + +"You'll be all right then, sir," says Cobbs, "with your beautiful +sweetheart by your side." + +"Cobbs," returned the boy, flushing, "I never let anybody joke about it, +when I can prevent them." + +"It wasn't a joke, sir," says Cobbs, with humility,--"wasn't so meant." + +"I am glad of that, Cobbs, because I like you, you know, and you're going +to live with us.--Cobbs!" + +"Sir." + +"What do you think my grandmamma gives me when I go down there?" + +"I couldn't so much as make a guess, sir." + +"A Bank of England five-pound note, Cobbs." + +"Whew!" says Cobbs, "that's a spanking sum of money, Master Harry." + +"A person could do a good deal with such a sum of money as that,--couldn't +a person, Cobbs?" + +"I believe you, sir!" + +"Cobbs," said the boy, "I'll tell you a secret. At Norah's house, they +have been joking her about me, and pretending to laugh at our being +engaged,--pretending to make game of it, Cobbs!" + +"Such, sir," says Cobbs, "is the depravity of human natur." + +The boy, looking exactly like his father, stood for a few minutes with +his glowing face towards the sunset, and then departed with, "Good-night, +Cobbs. I'm going in." + +If I was to ask Boots how it happened that he was a-going to leave that +place just at that present time, well, he couldn't rightly answer me. He +did suppose he might have stayed there till now if he had been anyways +inclined. But, you see, he was younger then, and he wanted change. +That's what he wanted,--change. Mr. Walmers, he said to him when he gave +him notice of his intentions to leave, "Cobbs," he says, "have you +anythink to complain of? I make the inquiry because if I find that any +of my people really has anythink to complain of, I wish to make it right +if I can." "No, sir," says Cobbs; "thanking you, sir, I find myself as +well sitiwated here as I could hope to be anywheres. The truth is, sir, +that I'm a-going to seek my fortun'." "O, indeed, Cobbs!" he says; "I +hope you may find it." And Boots could assure me--which he did, touching +his hair with his bootjack, as a salute in the way of his present +calling--that he hadn't found it yet. + +Well, sir! Boots left the Elmses when his time was up, and Master Harry, +he went down to the old lady's at York, which old lady would have given +that child the teeth out of her head (if she had had any), she was so +wrapped up in him. What does that Infant do,--for Infant you may call +him and be within the mark,--but cut away from that old lady's with his +Norah, on a expedition to go to Gretna Green and be married! + +Sir, Boots was at this identical Holly-Tree Inn (having left it several +times since to better himself, but always come back through one thing or +another), when, one summer afternoon, the coach drives up, and out of the +coach gets them two children. The Guard says to our Governor, "I don't +quite make out these little passengers, but the young gentleman's words +was, that they was to be brought here." The young gentleman gets out; +hands his lady out; gives the Guard something for himself; says to our +Governor, "We're to stop here to-night, please. Sitting-room and two +bedrooms will be required. Chops and cherry-pudding for two!" and tucks +her, in her sky-blue mantle, under his arm, and walks into the house much +bolder than Brass. + +Boots leaves me to judge what the amazement of that establishment was, +when these two tiny creatures all alone by themselves was marched into +the Angel,--much more so, when he, who had seen them without their seeing +him, give the Governor his views of the expedition they was upon. +"Cobbs," says the Governor, "if this is so, I must set off myself to +York, and quiet their friends' minds. In which case you must keep your +eye upon 'em, and humour 'em, till I come back. But before I take these +measures, Cobbs, I should wish you to find from themselves whether your +opinion is correct." "Sir, to you," says Cobbs, "that shall be done +directly." + +So Boots goes up-stairs to the Angel, and there he finds Master Harry on +a e-normous sofa,--immense at any time, but looking like the Great Bed of +Ware, compared with him,--a drying the eyes of Miss Norah with his pocket- +hankecher. Their little legs was entirely off the ground, of course, and +it really is not possible for Boots to express to me how small them +children looked. + +"It's Cobbs! It's Cobbs!" cries Master Harry, and comes running to him, +and catching hold of his hand. Miss Norah comes running to him on +t'other side and catching hold of his t'other hand, and they both jump +for joy. + +"I see you a getting out, sir," says Cobbs. "I thought it was you. I +thought I couldn't be mistaken in your height and figure. What's the +object of your journey, sir?--Matrimonial?" + +"We are going to be married, Cobbs, at Gretna Green," returned the boy. +"We have run away on purpose. Norah has been in rather low spirits, +Cobbs; but she'll be happy, now we have found you to be our friend." + +"Thank you, sir, and thank you, miss," says Cobbs, "for your good +opinion. _Did_ you bring any luggage with you, sir?" + +If I will believe Boots when he gives me his word and honour upon it, the +lady had got a parasol, a smelling-bottle, a round and a half of cold +buttered toast, eight peppermint drops, and a hair-brush,--seemingly a +doll's. The gentleman had got about half a dozen yards of string, a +knife, three or four sheets of writing-paper folded up surprising small, +a orange, and a Chaney mug with his name upon it. + +"What may be the exact natur of your plans, sir?" says Cobbs. + +"To go on," replied the boy,--which the courage of that boy was something +wonderful!--"in the morning, and be married to-morrow." + +"Just so, sir," says Cobbs. "Would it meet your views, sir, if I was to +accompany you?" + +When Cobbs said this, they both jumped for joy again, and cried out, "Oh, +yes, yes, Cobbs! Yes!" + +"Well, sir," says Cobbs. "If you will excuse my having the freedom to +give an opinion, what I should recommend would be this. I'm acquainted +with a pony, sir, which, put in a pheayton that I could borrow, would +take you and Mrs. Harry Walmers, Junior, (myself driving, if you +approved,) to the end of your journey in a very short space of time. I +am not altogether sure, sir, that this pony will be at liberty to-morrow, +but even if you had to wait over to-morrow for him, it might be worth +your while. As to the small account here, sir, in case you was to find +yourself running at all short, that don't signify; because I'm a part +proprietor of this inn, and it could stand over." + +Boots assures me that when they clapped their hands, and jumped for joy +again, and called him "Good Cobbs!" and "Dear Cobbs!" and bent across him +to kiss one another in the delight of their confiding hearts, he felt +himself the meanest rascal for deceiving 'em that ever was born. + +"Is there anything you want just at present, sir?" says Cobbs, mortally +ashamed of himself. + +"We should like some cakes after dinner," answered Master Harry, folding +his arms, putting out one leg, and looking straight at him, "and two +apples,--and jam. With dinner we should like to have toast-and-water. +But Norah has always been accustomed to half a glass of currant wine at +dessert. And so have I." + +"It shall be ordered at the bar, sir," says Cobbs; and away he went. + +Boots has the feeling as fresh upon him at this minute of speaking as he +had then, that he would far rather have had it out in half-a-dozen rounds +with the Governor than have combined with him; and that he wished with +all his heart there was any impossible place where those two babies could +make an impossible marriage, and live impossibly happy ever afterwards. +However, as it couldn't be, he went into the Governor's plans, and the +Governor set off for York in half an hour. + +The way in which the women of that house--without exception--every one of +'em--married _and_ single--took to that boy when they heard the story, +Boots considers surprising. It was as much as he could do to keep 'em +from dashing into the room and kissing him. They climbed up all sorts of +places, at the risk of their lives, to look at him through a pane of +glass. They was seven deep at the keyhole. They was out of their minds +about him and his bold spirit. + +In the evening, Boots went into the room to see how the runaway couple +was getting on. The gentleman was on the window-seat, supporting the +lady in his arms. She had tears upon her face, and was lying, very tired +and half asleep, with her head upon his shoulder. + +"Mrs. Harry Walmers, Junior, fatigued, sir?" says Cobbs. + +"Yes, she is tired, Cobbs; but she is not used to be away from home, and +she has been in low spirits again. Cobbs, do you think you could bring a +biffin, please?" + +"I ask your pardon, sir," says Cobbs. "What was it you--?" + +"I think a Norfolk biffin would rouse her, Cobbs. She is very fond of +them." + +Boots withdrew in search of the required restorative, and when he brought +it in, the gentleman handed it to the lady, and fed her with a spoon, and +took a little himself; the lady being heavy with sleep, and rather cross. +"What should you think, sir," says Cobbs, "of a chamber candlestick?" The +gentleman approved; the chambermaid went first, up the great staircase; +the lady, in her sky-blue mantle, followed, gallantly escorted by the +gentleman; the gentleman embraced her at her door, and retired to his own +apartment, where Boots softly locked him up. + +Boots couldn't but feel with increased acuteness what a base deceiver he +was, when they consulted him at breakfast (they had ordered sweet milk- +and-water, and toast and currant jelly, overnight) about the pony. It +really was as much as he could do, he don't mind confessing to me, to +look them two young things in the face, and think what a wicked old +father of lies he had grown up to be. Howsomever, he went on a lying +like a Trojan about the pony. He told 'em that it did so unfortunately +happen that the pony was half clipped, you see, and that he couldn't be +taken out in that state, for fear it should strike to his inside. But +that he'd be finished clipping in the course of the day, and that +to-morrow morning at eight o'clock the pheayton would be ready. Boots's +view of the whole case, looking back on it in my room, is, that Mrs. +Harry Walmers, Junior, was beginning to give in. She hadn't had her hair +curled when she went to bed, and she didn't seem quite up to brushing it +herself, and its getting in her eyes put her out. But nothing put out +Master Harry. He sat behind his breakfast-cup, a tearing away at the +jelly, as if he had been his own father. + +After breakfast, Boots is inclined to consider that they drawed +soldiers,--at least, he knows that many such was found in the fire-place, +all on horseback. In the course of the morning, Master Harry rang the +bell,--it was surprising how that there boy did carry on,--and said, in a +sprightly way, "Cobbs, is there any good walks in this neighbourhood?" + +"Yes, sir," says Cobbs. "There's Love Lane." + +"Get out with you, Cobbs!"--that was that there boy's expression,--"you're +joking." + +"Begging your pardon, sir," says Cobbs, "there really is Love Lane. And +a pleasant walk it is, and proud shall I be to show it to yourself and +Mrs. Harry Walmers, Junior." + +"Norah, dear," said Master Harry, "this is curious. We really ought to +see Love Lane. Put on your bonnet, my sweetest darling, and we will go +there with Cobbs." + +Boots leaves me to judge what a Beast he felt himself to be, when that +young pair told him, as they all three jogged along together, that they +had made up their minds to give him two thousand guineas a year as head- +gardener, on accounts of his being so true a friend to 'em. Boots could +have wished at the moment that the earth would have opened and swallowed +him up, he felt so mean, with their beaming eyes a looking at him, and +believing him. Well, sir, he turned the conversation as well as he +could, and he took 'em down Love Lane to the water-meadows, and there +Master Harry would have drowned himself in half a moment more, a getting +out a water-lily for her,--but nothing daunted that boy. Well, sir, they +was tired out. All being so new and strange to 'em, they was tired as +tired could be. And they laid down on a bank of daisies, like the +children in the wood, leastways meadows, and fell asleep. + +Boots don't know--perhaps I do,--but never mind, it don't signify either +way--why it made a man fit to make a fool of himself to see them two +pretty babies a lying there in the clear still sunny day, not dreaming +half so hard when they was asleep as they done when they was awake. But, +Lord! when you come to think of yourself, you know, and what a game you +have been up to ever since you was in your own cradle, and what a poor +sort of a chap you are, and how it's always either Yesterday with you, or +else To-morrow, and never To-day, that's where it is! + +Well, sir, they woke up at last, and then one thing was getting pretty +clear to Boots, namely, that Mrs. Harry Walmerses, Junior's, temper was +on the move. When Master Harry took her round the waist, she said he +"teased her so;" and when he says, "Norah, my young May Moon, your Harry +tease you?" she tells him, "Yes; and I want to go home!" + +A biled fowl, and baked bread-and-butter pudding, brought Mrs. Walmers up +a little; but Boots could have wished, he must privately own to me, to +have seen her more sensible of the woice of love, and less abandoning of +herself to currants. However, Master Harry, he kept up, and his noble +heart was as fond as ever. Mrs. Walmers turned very sleepy about dusk, +and began to cry. Therefore, Mrs. Walmers went off to bed as per +yesterday; and Master Harry ditto repeated. + +About eleven or twelve at night comes back the Governor in a chaise, +along with Mr. Walmers and a elderly lady. Mr. Walmers looks amused and +very serious, both at once, and says to our missis, "We are much indebted +to you, ma'am, for your kind care of our little children, which we can +never sufficiently acknowledge. Pray, ma'am, where is my boy?" Our +missis says, "Cobbs has the dear child in charge, sir. Cobbs, show +Forty!" Then he says to Cobbs, "Ah, Cobbs, I am glad to see _you_! I +understood you was here!" And Cobbs says, "Yes, sir. Your most +obedient, sir." + +I may be surprised to hear Boots say it, perhaps; but Boots assures me +that his heart beat like a hammer, going up-stairs. "I beg your pardon, +sir," says he, while unlocking the door; "I hope you are not angry with +Master Harry. For Master Harry is a fine boy, sir, and will do you +credit and honour." And Boots signifies to me, that, if the fine boy's +father had contradicted him in the daring state of mind in which he then +was, he thinks he should have "fetched him a crack," and taken the +consequences. + +But Mr. Walmers only says, "No, Cobbs. No, my good fellow. Thank you!" +And, the door being opened, goes in. + +Boots goes in too, holding the light, and he sees Mr. Walmers go up to +the bedside, bend gently down, and kiss the little sleeping face. Then +he stands looking at it for a minute, looking wonderfully like it (they +do say he ran away with Mrs. Walmers); and then he gently shakes the +little shoulder. + +"Harry, my dear boy! Harry!" + +Master Harry starts up and looks at him. Looks at Cobbs too. Such is +the honour of that mite, that he looks at Cobbs, to see whether he has +brought him into trouble. + +"I am not angry, my child. I only want you to dress yourself and come +home." + +"Yes, pa." + +Master Harry dresses himself quickly. His breast begins to swell when he +has nearly finished, and it swells more and more as he stands, at last, a +looking at his father: his father standing a looking at him, the quiet +image of him. + +"Please may I"--the spirit of that little creatur, and the way he kept +his rising tears down!--"please, dear pa--may I--kiss Norah before I go?" + +"You may, my child." + +So he takes Master Harry in his hand, and Boots leads the way with the +candle, and they come to that other bedroom, where the elderly lady is +seated by the bed, and poor little Mrs. Harry Walmers, Junior, is fast +asleep. There the father lifts the child up to the pillow, and he lays +his little face down for an instant by the little warm face of poor +unconscious little Mrs. Harry Walmers, Junior, and gently draws it to +him,--a sight so touching to the chambermaids who are peeping through the +door, that one of them calls out, "It's a shame to part 'em!" But this +chambermaid was always, as Boots informs me, a soft-hearted one. Not +that there was any harm in that girl. Far from it. + +Finally, Boots says, that's all about it. Mr. Walmers drove away in the +chaise, having hold of Master Harry's hand. The elderly lady and Mrs. +Harry Walmers, Junior, that was never to be (she married a Captain long +afterwards, and died in India), went off next day. In conclusion, Boots +put it to me whether I hold with him in two opinions: firstly, that there +are not many couples on their way to be married who are half as innocent +of guile as those two children; secondly, that it would be a jolly good +thing for a great many couples on their way to be married, if they could +only be stopped in time, and brought back separately. + + + + +THIRD BRANCH--THE BILL + + +I had been snowed up a whole week. The time had hung so lightly on my +hands, that I should have been in great doubt of the fact but for a piece +of documentary evidence that lay upon my table. + +The road had been dug out of the snow on the previous day, and the +document in question was my bill. It testified emphatically to my having +eaten and drunk, and warmed myself, and slept among the sheltering +branches of the Holly-Tree, seven days and nights. + +I had yesterday allowed the road twenty-four hours to improve itself, +finding that I required that additional margin of time for the completion +of my task. I had ordered my Bill to be upon the table, and a chaise to +be at the door, "at eight o'clock to-morrow evening." It was eight +o'clock to-morrow evening when I buckled up my travelling writing-desk in +its leather case, paid my Bill, and got on my warm coats and wrappers. Of +course, no time now remained for my travelling on to add a frozen tear to +the icicles which were doubtless hanging plentifully about the farmhouse +where I had first seen Angela. What I had to do was to get across to +Liverpool by the shortest open road, there to meet my heavy baggage and +embark. It was quite enough to do, and I had not an hour too much time +to do it in. + +I had taken leave of all my Holly-Tree friends--almost, for the time +being, of my bashfulness too--and was standing for half a minute at the +Inn door watching the ostler as he took another turn at the cord which +tied my portmanteau on the chaise, when I saw lamps coming down towards +the Holly-Tree. The road was so padded with snow that no wheels were +audible; but all of us who were standing at the Inn door saw lamps coming +on, and at a lively rate too, between the walls of snow that had been +heaped up on either side of the track. The chambermaid instantly divined +how the case stood, and called to the ostler, "Tom, this is a Gretna +job!" The ostler, knowing that her sex instinctively scented a marriage, +or anything in that direction, rushed up the yard bawling, "Next four +out!" and in a moment the whole establishment was thrown into commotion. + +I had a melancholy interest in seeing the happy man who loved and was +beloved; and therefore, instead of driving off at once, I remained at the +Inn door when the fugitives drove up. A bright-eyed fellow, muffled in a +mantle, jumped out so briskly that he almost overthrew me. He turned to +apologise, and, by heaven, it was Edwin! + +"Charley!" said he, recoiling. "Gracious powers, what do you do here?" + +"Edwin," said I, recoiling, "gracious powers, what do _you_ do here?" I +struck my forehead as I said it, and an insupportable blaze of light +seemed to shoot before my eyes. + +He hurried me into the little parlour (always kept with a slow fire in it +and no poker), where posting company waited while their horses were +putting to, and, shutting the door, said: + +"Charley, forgive me!" + +"Edwin!" I returned. "Was this well? When I loved her so dearly! When +I had garnered up my heart so long!" I could say no more. + +He was shocked when he saw how moved I was, and made the cruel +observation, that he had not thought I should have taken it so much to +heart. + +I looked at him. I reproached him no more. But I looked at him. "My +dear, dear Charley," said he, "don't think ill of me, I beseech you! I +know you have a right to my utmost confidence, and, believe me, you have +ever had it until now. I abhor secrecy. Its meanness is intolerable to +me. But I and my dear girl have observed it for your sake." + +He and his dear girl! It steeled me. + +"You have observed it for my sake, sir?" said I, wondering how his frank +face could face it out so. + +"Yes!--and Angela's," said he. + +I found the room reeling round in an uncertain way, like a labouring, +humming-top. "Explain yourself," said I, holding on by one hand to an +arm-chair. + +"Dear old darling Charley!" returned Edwin, in his cordial manner, +"consider! When you were going on so happily with Angela, why should I +compromise you with the old gentleman by making you a party to our +engagement, and (after he had declined my proposals) to our secret +intention? Surely it was better that you should be able honourably to +say, 'He never took counsel with me, never told me, never breathed a word +of it.' If Angela suspected it, and showed me all the favour and support +she could--God bless her for a precious creature and a priceless wife!--I +couldn't help that. Neither I nor Emmeline ever told her, any more than +we told you. And for the same good reason, Charley; trust me, for the +same good reason, and no other upon earth!" + +Emmeline was Angela's cousin. Lived with her. Had been brought up with +her. Was her father's ward. Had property. + +"Emmeline is in the chaise, my dear Edwin!" said I, embracing him with +the greatest affection. + +"My good fellow!" said he, "do you suppose I should be going to Gretna +Green without her?" + +I ran out with Edwin, I opened the chaise door, I took Emmeline in my +arms, I folded her to my heart. She was wrapped in soft white fur, like +the snowy landscape: but was warm, and young, and lovely. I put their +leaders to with my own hands, I gave the boys a five-pound note apiece, I +cheered them as they drove away, I drove the other way myself as hard as +I could pelt. + +I never went to Liverpool, I never went to America, I went straight back +to London, and I married Angela. I have never until this time, even to +her, disclosed the secret of my character, and the mistrust and the +mistaken journey into which it led me. When she, and they, and our eight +children and their seven--I mean Edwin and Emmeline's, whose oldest girl +is old enough now to wear white for herself, and to look very like her +mother in it--come to read these pages, as of course they will, I shall +hardly fail to be found out at last. Never mind! I can bear it. I +began at the Holly-Tree, by idle accident, to associate the Christmas +time of year with human interest, and with some inquiry into, and some +care for, the lives of those by whom I find myself surrounded. I hope +that I am none the worse for it, and that no one near me or afar off is +the worse for it. And I say, May the green Holly-Tree flourish, striking +its roots deep into our English ground, and having its germinating +qualities carried by the birds of Heaven all over the world! + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOLLY-TREE*** + + +******* This file should be named 1394.txt or 1394.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/9/1394 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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