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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13877-0.txt b/13877-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..60f830b --- /dev/null +++ b/13877-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3797 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13877 *** + +Mental Efficiency Series + +POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT + +by + +D. STARKE + +Translated by Francis Medhurst, D.Litt. + +1916 + + + + + + + +"POISE IS A POWER DERIVED FROM THE MASTERY OF SELF" + + + + +PREFACE + + +All efforts directed toward the correcting of temperamental or mental +blemishes or defects and nervous conditions are of benefit to humanity. +In producing this book the Author's purpose was to help mankind to +overcome these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental +development, and hinder personal advancement and general progress. The +aim of the Publishers in issuing this translation is to put into the +hands of those who wish to overcome their failings, become masters of +themselves, and command the attention and respect of others, a work that +has been thoroughly tested abroad and one that will be found of +exceptional service in attaining the end in view--the securing of a +perfect balance. + +This book is written in two parts. The first points to the need of Poise +in daily life, indicates the obstacles to be overcome, and discusses the +effects of Poise on personal efficiency. The second instructs the reader +how to secure that evenness of temperament which is the chief +characteristic of Poise. It includes, in addition, a series of practical +physical exercises to be used in acquiring Poise. + +If such a work as this is to do good, if the reader really wishes to +benefit by the advice that it gives him, it must be read thoughtfully +and diligently, not fitfully and forgetfully, and the reader most +steadfastly keep before him the maxim of the Author--"Poise is a power +derived from the Mastery of Self." + +THE PUBLISHERS. + + + + +CONTENTS + +Preface + +PART ONE +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + I. The Need of Poise in Life + II. The Enemies of Poise + III. War on Timidity + +PART TWO +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + I. Modesty and Effrontery Contrasted + II. Physical Exercises to Acquire Poise + III. Four Series of Physical Exercises + IV. Practical Exercises for Obtaining Poise + V. The Supreme Achievement + + + + +PART I + +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + +CHAPTER I + +THE NEED OF POISE IN LIFE + + +Lack of poise has always been an obstacle to those who are imbued with +the desire to succeed. + +In every age the awkwardness born of timidity has served to keep back +those who suffered from it, but this defect has never been so great a +drawback as in the life of to-day. + +The celebrated phrase of the ancient Roman writer who said, "Fortune +smiles on the brave," could very well serve as our motto nowadays, with +this slight alteration: "Fortune smiles on those who are possest of +poise." + +At this point let us attempt an exact definition of poise. + +It is a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, +in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really +capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them. + +It is not a quality wholly simple. On the contrary, it is a composite of +many others all of which take part in the molding of that totality which +bears the name of poise. + +It may be well to pass in review the principal qualities of which it is +composed, that one may characterize as follows: + +Will. + +Reason. + +Knowledge of one's own value. + +Correctness of judgment. + +Sincerity toward oneself. + +The power of resisting the appeals of self-love. + +Contempt of adverse criticism. + +Pride that is free from vanity. + +A definite and clearly conceived ambition. + +Will, as is well known, is the pivot of all our resolutions, whether the +question for the moment be how to form them or how to keep them when +formed. + +A man without will-power is a straw, blown about by every wind and +carried, whether he will or no, into situations in which he has no valid +reason for finding himself. + +Without the will-power which enables us to take a firm hold of ourselves +and to get a grip upon our impressions, they will remain vague and +nebulous without presenting to us characters of sufficient definiteness +to enable us to direct them readily into the proper channels. + +It is will-power which gives us the force to maintain a resolution which +will lead us to the hoped-for goal of success. + +It is will-power also which enables us to correct the faults which stand +in the way of the acquiring of poise. + +We are not now speaking of those idle fancies which are no more than +manifestations of nervousness. We have in mind rather that controlled +and enduring purpose which arms the heart against the assaults of the +emotions by giving it the strength to overcome them. + +There are many cases even in which will-power has led to their entire +suppression. + +This happens more particularly in the case of those artificial emotions +that the man of resolution ignores completely, but which cause agony to +the timid who do not know how to escape them, and exaggerate them to +excess. + +This abnormal development of their personalities is the peculiarity of +the timid, which their fitful efforts of will only heighten, alienating +from them the sympathy which might be of assistance to them. + +They take refuge in a species of mischievous and fruitless activity, +leaving the field open to the development of all sorts of imaginary ills +that argument does not serve to combat. + +Their ego, whose importance is in no way counterbalanced by their +appreciation of the friends they keep at a distance, fills their entire +existence to such an extent that they have no doubt whatever that, when +they are in public, every eye is, of necessity, fixt upon them. + +Their negative will leaves them at the mercy of every sort of emotion, +which, in arousing in them the necessity of a reaction they feel +themselves powerless to realize, reduces them to a state of inferiority +that, when it becomes known, is the source of grave embarrassment to +them. + +The power of will which sustains those who wish to acquire the habit of +poise is, then, the capacity to accomplish acts solely because one has +the ardent desire to achieve them. + +We are now speaking, understand, neither of extreme heroism or of +impossibilities. + +Another point presents itself here. Willpower, in order to preserve its +energy, must be sustained and fixt. At this price alone can we achieve +poise. We must, therefore, thoroughly saturate ourselves with this +principle: Reasoning-power is an essential element in the upbuilding of +poise. + +It is reasoning-power which teaches us to distinguish between those +things that we must be careful to avoid and those which are part and +parcel of the domain of exaggeration and fantasy. + +It is also by means of reasoning that we arrive at the proper +appreciation of the just mean that we must observe. It is by its aid +that we are enabled to disentangle those impulses that will prove +profitable from a chaos of useless risks. + +It is always by virtue of deductions depending upon reason that we are +able to adopt a resolution or to maintain an attitude that we believe to +be correct, while preserving our self-possession under circumstances in +which persons of a timorous disposition would certainly lose their +heads. + +Those who know how to reason never expose themselves to the possibility +of being unhorsed by fate for lack of good reasons for strengthening +themselves in their chosen course. + +They adhere, in the very heat of discussion and in spite of the +onslaughts of destiny, to the line of conduct that sage reflection has +taught them to adopt and are more than careful never to abandon it +except for the most valid reasons. + +They never stray into the byways in which the timid and the shrinking +constantly wander without sufficient thought of the goal toward which +they are journeying. + +They know where they are going, and if, now and again, they ask for +information about the road that remains to be traveled, it is with no +intention of changing their course, but simply so as not to miss the +short cuts and to lose nothing of the pleasures of the scenes through +which they may pass. + +Reasoning-power is the trade-mark of superior minds. Mediocre natures +take no interest in it and, as we have seen, the timid are incapable of +it, except in so far as it follows the beaten path. + +True poise never is guided by anything but reason. Certain risks can +never be undertaken save after ripe deliberation. + +Confusion is never the fate of those who are resolved on a definite line +of conduct. + +Such people are careful to plumb the questions with which they have to +grapple and to weigh the inconveniences and the advantages of the acts +they have the desire to accomplish. + +When their decision is once made, however, nothing will prevent the +completion of the work they have begun. Such people are ripe for +success. + +The knowledge of one's real worth is a quality doubly precious when +contrasted with the fact that the majority of people are more than +indulgent to their own failings. Of many of them it may be said, in the +words of the Arab proverb, couched in the language of imagery: "This man +has no money, but in his pocket everything turns to gold." + +This saying, divested of the language of hyperbole, means simply that +the man in question is so obsessed with the greatness of his own +personal value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that +concerns him. + +This condition is a much more common one than one might at first +believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, +seems to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects +us, a matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we +find ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the +victims of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward +other people under similar circumstances. + +The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that +adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism. + +It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to +undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's +abilities. + +To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault that is +far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run than +the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's +own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all +unsuccess. + +It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another +quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of +mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake +our tasks without boasting and without hesitation. + +Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the +merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, +and of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry +out to its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring +accidents, precisely what we have foreseen. + +This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating +ourselves or for lacking poise? + +Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter +of insight. + +They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and +not upon facts. + +If the perception of a man of resolution causes him to understand at +once the emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, +always ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into +an appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a +project that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of +the arguments advanced. + +Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never +even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it +may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all +his ideas. + +The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey +for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick +disillusionment. + +A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not +wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not. + +He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he +imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic +gesture. + +He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if +the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and +antagonistic. + +How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed with +poise! + +His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he +jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive +protestations as well as when confronting indications of aimless +antagonism. + +How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and +to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it? + +Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound judgment. + +Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor +to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, +and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about +the work of correcting them. + +It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in +which one is taking one's risks. + +The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be +likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts. + +The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, +first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of +avoiding the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he +passes. + +Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and +he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths +which he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes. + +These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we +sometimes find in the timid. + +Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they +are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their +virtues and so fall an easy prey to the designer and the sharper. + +Their very carelessness in estimating other people becomes the +foundation of an involuntary partiality the moment they are called upon +to judge their own actions. + +It is not deliberate self-indulgence that drives them to act in this +way, but their inexperience, which gives rise in them to the desire for +perfection, and this necessarily provokes, simultaneously with the +despair caused by their failure to attain it, a fear of having this +failure remarked or commented upon. + +The man who possesses poise is too familiar with the realities of life +not to be aware that the search for such an ideal is a Utopian dream. + +But he is also aware that, if actual perfection does not exist, it is +the bounden duty of man to struggle always in pursuit of good and to +show appreciation of it in whatsoever form it may manifest itself. + +Sincerity toward himself thus becomes for him an easy matter indeed, and +for the very reason that his poise leaves him absolutely free to form a +correct estimate of others. + +Serious self-examination throws a clear light for him upon those merits +of which he has a right to be proud, while revealing to him at the same +time the faults to which he is most likely to yield. + +The habit of estimating himself and his own qualities without fear or +favor gives him great facility for gaging the motives of other people. + +He thus avoids the pitfalls that a biased viewpoint spreads before the +feet of the foolish, and at the same time represses that feeling of +vanity which might lead him to believe that he is altogether too clever +to fall into them. + +He watches himself constantly to avoid getting into the bypaths which he +sees with sorrow that others are following, and does not fail to +estimate accurately the value of the victories he achieves over himself +as well as over the duplicity of most of the people who surround him. + +And this superiority is what makes certain his poise. More difficult +perhaps than anything else to acquire is the power to resist the appeals +of one's own self-love. + +We will explain this later at greater length. Lack of poise is often due +to nothing so much as an excess of vanity which throws one back upon +oneself from the fear of not being able to shine in the front rank. + +Such a person does not say to himself: "I will conquer this place by +sheer merit." He contents himself with envying those who occupy it, +quite neglecting to put forth the efforts which would place him there +beside them. + +There is nothing worse than yielding to an exaggerated tenderness toward +ourselves, which, by magnifying our merits in our own eyes, frequently +leads us to make attempts which result in failure and expose us to +ridicule. + +This is a most frequent cause of making an inveterate coward of one who +is subject to occasional attacks of timidity. + +To know one's limitations exactly and never to allow oneself to exceed +them--this is the part of wisdom, the act of a man who, as the saying +goes, knows what he is about. + +There is in every effort a necessary limit that it is not wise to +exceed. + +"Never force your talents," says a very pithy proverb. Never undertake +to do a thing that is beyond your powers. + +Never allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion on a subject which is +beyond your intellectual depth. To do so is to take the risk of making +mistakes that will render you ridiculous. + +But if you are quite convinced that you can come out victorious, never +hesitate to enter a trial of wits that may serve as an occasion for +demonstrating the fact that you are sure of your subject. + +The man who cultivates poise will never let pass such opportunities as +this for exhibiting himself in a favorable light. + +Conscious of the soundness of his own judgment, and filled with a real +sincerity toward himself, he will not allow himself to be carried away +by a possible chance of success. Rather will he gather himself together, +collect his forces, and wait until he can achieve a real effect upon the +minds of those whom he wishes to impress. + +Similarly the result of unsuccess in such a venture is obvious. It has +the effect of developing a distrust of oneself and of destroying the +superb assurance of those people of whom it is often said: "Oh, he! He +is sailing with the wind at his back!" + +People generally fail to add in these cases that such persons have left +nothing undone to accomplish this result and are more than careful not +to weigh anchor when the wind is not favorable. + +It is true enough that there can be no actual shelter from a storm, but +the mariner who is prepared is able to ride it out without appreciable +damage, while those who are not prepared generally founder on account of +their poor seamanship. + +Disregard of calumny is always the index of a noble spirit. + +The man who wastes time over such indignities and who allows himself to +be affected by them is not of the stature that insures victory in the +struggle. + +Minds of large caliber disdain these manifestations of futile jealousy. + +People of obscurity are never vilified. Only those whose merits have +placed them in the limelight are the targets for the attacks of envy and +for the slanders of falsehood. + +A precept that has often been enunciated, and can not be too often +repeated, which should, indeed, be inscribed in letters of gold over the +doors of every institution where men meet together, runs as follows: +"Envy and malice are nothing more than homage rendered to superiority." + +Only those who occupy an enviable position can become objects of +calumny. + +Such calumny is always the work of the unworthy, who think to advertise +their own merits by denying those of better men. + +Men of resolution under such circumstances simply shrug their shoulders +and pass by. + +The rest, those who are enslaved by timidity, become confused. + +Their ego, which they cultivated in a fashion at once obscure and +absolute, becomes so profoundly affected that they lack all courage to +openly defend it. + +Moreover, that instinctive need of sympathy, which is so marked a +characteristic of the timid, is deeply wounded, while their chronic fear +of disapprobation is strengthened by the criticisms spread abroad. + +The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid +shuns society, yet nevertheless the judgments of this same society are +for him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a +disease of many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality. + +It is always a mental weakness. It is sometimes vanity, but never pride, +that reasonable pride that a philosophy now abandoned once numbered as +one of the principal vices, and which, if rightly estimated, can be +considered as the motive power of every noble action. + +Pride is a force. It is therefore a virtue which must of necessity be +one of the components of poise, so long as it contains within it no +seeds of vanity. Under such circumstances it is a primal condition of +success in the achievement of poise. Pride must, however, be free from +vanity, otherwise it ceases to be a force and becomes a cause of +deterioration. + +As a matter of fact, those who are conceited are always the dupes of +their own desire to bulk largely in the minds of others, and at the mere +thought that they will not shine as they have hoped to do the majority +of them are put entirely out of countenance and are quite at a loss for +means of expression. + +The inevitable result of this tendency is to drive them into association +with mediocrity. In such a society alone will the vain find themselves +at their ease. But the very moment that they find themselves in the +presence of those who are their superiors, the fear of not being able to +occupy the front rank throws them into such a state of mental disarray +that they entirely lose their assurance and that appearance of poise by +whose aid they are often able to deceive others. + +Finally, one of the most solid elements of poise is, without doubt, a +well-defined ambition, that is to say, one that is divested of the +drawbacks of frivolity and directly winged toward the goal of one's +hopes. + +The man who possesses ambition of this kind is certainly destined to +acquire, if he has not already acquired it, that poise which is +absolutely necessary to him in order to make his way in the world. + +He will neither be pretentious nor timorous, exaggerated nor fearful. He +will go forward without hesitation toward the goal which he knows to be +before him, and will make, without any apologies, those detours which +seem to him necessary to the success of his undertaking, without paying +any attention to the fruitless distractions that make victims of the +rash. + +He will not have to put up with the affront of being refused, for he +will ask aid only of those persons who, for various reasons, he is +practically sure will be of assistance to him. The knowledge of his own +deserts, while keeping him in the position he has attained, will prevent +him from being satisfied in commonplace surroundings, and his will-power +will always maintain him at the level he has reached, permitting him no +latitude save that of exceeding it. + +Such is true poise, not that whose spirit one violates by merely +associating it with the incapable, the pretentious, or the extravagant, +but that which is at once the motive power and the inspiration of all +the actions of those who, in their determination to force their way +through the great modern struggle for existence, perseveringly follow a +line of conduct that they have worked out for themselves in advance. + +Ignoring such enterprises as they know to be unworthy of their powers, +those who are possest of real poise (and not of that foolish temerity +colloquially known as _bluff_) will devote themselves solely to such +tasks as a well-ordered judgment and an accurate knowledge of their own +potentialities indicate to them to be fitting. + +Does this mean that they will succeed in every case? + +Unfortunately, no! But such of them as have met with temporary failure, +if they are able to assure themselves that their lack of success has +been due neither to a failure of will-power nor a fear of ridicule, will +return to the charge, once more prepared to make headway against +circumstances which they have the poise to foresee, and which they will +at least render incapable of harming them, even if they lack the +necessary force to dominate them completely to their own advantage. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE ENEMIES OF POISE + + +The enemies of poise are many and of different origins, both of feeling +and of impulse. + +They all tend, however, toward the same result, the cessation of effort +under pretexts more or less specious. + +It is of no use deceiving ourselves. Lack of poise has its roots deep in +all the faults which are caused by apathy and purposeless variety. + +We have learned in the previous chapter how greatly the vice of lack of +confidence in oneself can retard the development of the quality we are +considering. + +Balanced between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure, the +timid man leads a miserable existence, tortured by unavailing regrets +and by no less useless aspirations, which torment him like the worm that +dieth not. + +Little by little the habit of physical inaction engenders a moral +inertia and the victim learns to fly from every opportunity of escaping +from his bondage. + +Very soon an habitual state of idleness takes possession of him and +causes him to avoid everything that tends to make action necessary. + +The dread of responsibility that might devolve upon him turns him aside +from every sort of endeavor, and he passes his life in a hopeless and +sluggish inaction, from a fear of drawing down upon himself reproaches +to which he might have to make answer or of being compelled to take part +in discussions which would involve the disturbing of his indolent +repose. + +Are we to suppose then that he finds real happiness in such a state of +things? + +Certainly not, for this negative existence weighs upon him with all the +burden of a monotony that he feels powerless to throw off. His own +mediocrity enrages him while the success of others fills him with +dismay. + +Nevertheless his weakness of character allows the hate of action to +speak more loudly to him than legitimate ambition, and keeps him in a +state of obvious inferiority that of itself gives birth to numberless +new enemies, who end by destroying him utterly. + +He is first attacked by slowness of comprehension, the inevitable +consequence of that idleness that causes the cowardly to shun the +battle. + +Rather than combat influences from without he allows them daily to +assume a more prominent and a more definite place in his thoughts. + +His hatred of action says no to all initiative and he considers that he +has accomplished his whole duty toward society and toward himself when +he says: "What's the use of undertaking this or that? I haven't a chance +of succeeding and it is therefore idle to invite defeat!" + +So quickly does the change work that his mind, from lack of proper +exercise, rapidly reaches the condition where it can not voluntarily +comprehend any but the most simple affairs and goes to pieces when +confronted with occasions that call for reflection or reasoning, which +he considers as the hardest kind of work. + +It is hardly a matter for astonishment, therefore, that under these +conditions effeminacy should take possession of a soul that has become +the sport of all the weaknesses that are born of a desire to avoid +exertion. + +We do not care to draw the picture of that case too often encountered in +which this moral defeat becomes changed into envy, the feeling of +bitterness against all men, the veritable hell of the man who has not +the power to make the effort that shall free him. + +Mental instability is the inevitable consequence of this state of +affairs. + +All brain-activity being regarded as a useless toil, the man of timidity +never understands the depth of the questions he has not the courage to +discuss. If he does talk of them, it is with a bias rendered all the +more prejudiced by the fact that, instead of expressing his ideas, he +takes refuge in fortifying his heresies with arguments of which the +smallest discussion would demonstrate the worthlessness. + +This unwillingness to discuss conditions gives rise among people who are +deficient in poise to a special form of reasoning, which causes them to +summarize in the most hurried fashion even the gravest events, upon the +sole consideration that they are not asked to take part in them. If, by +any chance, they are forced to be actors in these events the least +little incident assumes for them the most formidable proportions. + +It seems probable that this tendency to exaggerate everything with which +they come in contact is due solely to egoism. It is certain at any rate +that egoism plays a large part in it, but some portion of it is due to +the lack of observation that characterizes all people of timidity. + +The mental idleness and the instability of mind that we have already +considered render such people less inclined to consider with any degree +of care those things which do not touch them directly. + +At this stage, it is no longer possible for them to feign ignorance in +order to avoid the trouble of thinking, and they are only touched, even +by the most personal matters, to the extent that circumstances impose +upon them the necessity of thinking or of acting with reference to the +subject under consideration. + +The idea that they can no longer avoid the resolutions which must be +made and their fear of the consequences which may result from these +affect them to such a profound extent that the most insignificant of +occurrences immediately assumes for them an altogether incommensurate +importance. + +This state of mind is a notable foe of poise. It is practically +impossible for a person under such conditions to believe that any +considerable effort he has made can have passed unperceived. + +This propensity to assign an exaggerated importance to personal affairs +develops egoism, the avowed enemy of poise. An egoist necessarily +assumes that the rest of the world attributes to his acts the importance +he himself assigns to them. + +This preoccupation does not fail to upset him. It increases his +embarrassment and the fear of not appearing in the light in which he +wishes to be seen paralyzes him, while the dread of what other people +may think prevents him from being himself. + +To this cause many otherwise inexplicable defeats must be assigned, the +result of which is a renewed resentment against the world at large and +an ardent desire to avoid any further exposure to the chance of failure. + +A case in point is the man who becomes nervous while making a speech, +starts to stammer, and makes a lamentable failure of what began well +enough, because he imagines that persons in the audience are making fun +of him. + +He has overheard a word, or surprized a look, neither of which had any +relation to him, but so great is his egoism that he does not dream that +any one in the audience can be so lacking in taste as to be concerned +with anything but himself. + +Had this man, in spite of his egoism, been endowed with poise, he would +have gone along calmly, simply forcing himself to ignore all criticism +and to impress his very critics by his attitude and his eloquence. But +his distrust of himself, his mental instability, his habitual weakness +of reasoning, all these enemies of poise league themselves together to +inflict upon him a defeat, of which the memory will only aggravate his +nervousness and his desire never to repeat such an unpleasant +experience. + +For the man who has no poise there is no snatching victory from defeat. +His feeble will-power is completely routed, and the effort involved in +stemming the tide of adverse opinion is to him an impossibility. + +From dread of being carried away by the current, and feeling himself +incapable of struggling against it, he prefers to hide himself in the +caves along the shore, rather than to make one desperate effort to cross +the stream. + +But the very isolation he seeks, in depriving him of moral support, +increases his embarrassment. + +"It is not good for man to be alone," says Holy Writ. It is certainly +deplorable, for one who desires to make his way, to find himself without +a prop, without a counselor, and without a guide. + +This is the case of those timid persons who do not understand how to +make friends for themselves. + +Poise, on the other hand, invites sympathy. It aids men to expand. It +creates friends when needed, and weaves the bonds of comradeship and of +protection without which our social fabric could not hold together. + +Educators should seek for inspiration in the lessons that the exigencies +of modern life offer to the view of the observer. Excessive modesty, +sworn enemy of poise, is, socially speaking, a fault from which young +minds should be carefully guarded. + +It is the open door to all the feeblenesses which interfere with the +development of poise. + +It is a mistake that it has so long been considered as a virtue. + +In any case, the day of extreme humility is past. This detachment from +oneself is contrary to all the laws of progress. + +It is opposed to all the principles of evolution and of growth which +should be the study of all our contemporaries, whatever their station or +the class to which they may happen to belong. + +No man has the right to withdraw himself from the battle and to shirk +his duties, while watching other people fighting to maintain the social +equilibrium and seeking to achieve the position to which their talents +and their attainments render them worthy to aspire. + +That which is too easily honored with the title of modesty is generally +nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals +itself. + +It is a very easy thing to strike a disdainful attitude and to exclaim: +"I didn't care to compete!" + +Do not forget that a defeat after a sanguinary combat is infinitely more +honorable than a retreat in which not a blow is struck. + +Moreover, the combats of the mind temper the soul, just as those of the +body fortify the flesh, by making both fit for the victory that is to +be. + +It is then against the enemies of poise that we must go forth to war. + +Cowardice must be hunted down, wherever we encounter it, because its +victims are thrown into the struggle of life burdened with an undeniable +inferiority. + +Even if they are worth while no one will be found to observe it, since +their lack of poise always turns them back upon themselves, and very few +people have the wit to discover what is so sedulously concealed. + +Deception is the necessary corollary of this, and one that very soon +becomes changed into spite. The disappointment of being misunderstood +must inevitably lead us to condemn those who do not comprehend us. Our +shyness will be increased at this and we shall end by disbelieving +ourselves in the qualities that we find other people ignoring in us. + +From this condition of discouragement to that of mental inertia it is +but a step, and many worthy people who lack poise have rapidly traveled +this road to plunge themselves into the obscurity of renunciation. + +They are like paralytics. Like these poor creatures they have limbs +which are of no service to them and which from habitual lack of +functioning end by becoming permanently useless. + +If their nature is a bad one they will have still more reason to +complain of this lack of poise, with its train of inconveniences of +which we have been treating, that will leave them weakened and a prey to +all sorts of mental excesses which will be the more serious in their +effects for the fact that their existence is known to no one but the +victims. + +Instead of admitting that their lack of poise-due to the various faults +of character we have been discussing--is the sole cause of the apparent +ostracism from which they suffer, they indulge in accusations against +fate, against the world, against circumstances, and grow to hate all +those who have succeeded, without being willing to acknowledge that they +have never seriously made the attempt themselves. + +Only those return home with the spoils who have taken part in the +battle, have paid with their blood and risked their lives. + +The man who remains in hiding behind the walls of his house can hardly +be astonished that such honors do not come his way. + +Life is a battle, and victory is always to the strong. The timid are +never called upon to take their share of the booty. It becomes the +property of those who have had the force to win it, either by sheer +courage or by cautious strategy, for real bravery is not always that +which calls for the easy applause of the crowd. + +It is found just as much among those who have the will-power to keep +silent as to their plans and to resist the temptation to actions which, +while satisfying their desire for energetic measures may destroy the +edifice that they have so carefully constructed. + +It is for this reason that enthusiasm may be considered with justice as +an enemy of poise. + +Those who act under the domination of an impulse born of a too-vivid +impression are rarely in a state of mind that can be depended upon to +judge sanely and impartially. They nearly always overshoot the mark at +which they aim. They are like runners dashing forward at such a high +speed that they can not bring themselves to a sudden stop. Habitual +enthusiasm is also the enemy of reflection. It is an obstacle to that +reason from which proceed strong resolves, and one is often impelled, in +observing people who are fired with too great an ardor, to thoughts of +the fable of the burning straw. + +A teacher, who inclined to the methods that consist of object lessons, +one day asked two children to make a choice between two piles, one of +straw, the other of wood. It is hardly necessary to add that while the +size of the pile of straw was great that of the wood was hardly +one-tenth of the volume. + +The first child, when told to make his choice, took the mass of straw, +which he set on fire easily enough, warming himself first from a +respectful distance and then at close range, in proportion as the heat +of the fire grew less. + +In so doing he made great sport of his companion, who struggled +meanwhile to set alight the pile of wood. But what was the outcome? + +The huge mass of straw was soon burned out, while the wood, once lit, +furnished a tranquil and steady flame, which the first child watched +with envy while seated by the mass of cinders that alone remained of the +vanished pile that he had chosen. + +The man of real poise is like the child who, disclaiming the transitory +blaze of the straw, prefers to work patiently at building a fire whose +moderate heat will afford him a durable and useful warmth. + +Let us then beware of sudden unreasoning enthusiasms. After the +ephemeral flame of their first ardor has burned itself out we shall but +find ourselves seated by the mass of ashes formed of our mistakes and +our dead energies. + +The rock on which so many abortive attempts are wrecked in the effort to +achieve poise is a type of sentimentality peculiar to certain natures. + +This state of mind is characterized by a craving for expansion, which is +all the more irritating since the timidity of the person concerned +prevents it from being satisfied. + +In place of relying upon themselves, feeling their disabilities and the +lack of poise which prevents them from proper expression, such people +try to make themselves understood by those who do not appreciate their +feelings, without stopping to think that they have done nothing to make +clear what they really need. + +Such a chaotic state of mind, based on errors of judgment, is a very +serious obstacle to the acquisition of poise. + +This anxiety to communicate their feelings, always rendered ineffective +by the difficulty of making the effort involved, gives rise in the long +run to a species of misanthropy. + +It is a matter of common knowledge that misanthropy urges those who +suffer from it to fall back upon themselves, and from this state to that +of active hostility toward others the road is short, and timid people +are rarely able to pull up before they have traversed it. + +There comes to them from this intellectual solitude an unhappiness so +profound that they are glad to be able to attribute to the mental +inferiority of others the condition of moral isolation in which they +live. + +To insist that they are misunderstood, and to pride themselves upon the +fact, is the inevitable fate of those who never can summon up courage to +undertake a battle against themselves. + +It seems to them a thousand times easier to say: "These minds are too +gross to comprehend mine," than to seek for a means of establishing an +understanding with those whom they tax with ignorance and insensibility. + +They might, perhaps, be convinced of the utility to them of divulging +their feelings, could they be forced into a position where they had to +defend their ideas or were compelled to put up a fight on behalf of +their convictions. + +In the ranks of the enemies of poise sullenness most certainly finds a +place. + +It is the fault of the feeble-spirited who have not the energy to affirm +their sentiments or to make a plain statement of their convictions that +they become incensed with those who oppose them. + +In their case a good deal of false pride is present. They know +themselves to be beaten and to be incapable of fighting, yet they are +too vain to accept defeat. They refuse the sympathy that wounds them, +and suffer the more from their inability to yield themselves to that +good-will which would aid and comfort them. + +From this mental conflict is born an irritation that manifests itself in +the form of obstinate sullenness. + +In other cases the same state of mind may produce radically different +results. + +Always obsessed by the fear of appearing ridiculous and by the no less +vivid dread of seeming to be an object of sympathy, such people are +often driven through lack of poise into extreme boastfulness. + +No man who has poise will ever fall a victim to this misfortune. + +He knows exactly what his capabilities are and he has no need to +exaggerate his own abilities to impress his friends. + +Poise calls for action, when this becomes necessary; but the man of +resolve, being always prepared to do what is needful, considers mere +boasting and bravado as something quite unworthy of him. + +There are, however, certain extenuating circumstances in the cases of +those timid people who take refuge in boasting. They are almost +invariably the dupes of their own fancies, and for the moment really +believe themselves to be capable of endeavors beset by difficulties, of +the surmounting of which they understand nothing. + +Nothing looks easier to duplicate than certain movements which are +performed with apparent ease by experts. + +Which of us has not been profoundly astonished at the enormous +difficulty experienced in accomplishing some simple act of manual toil +that we see performed without the least effort by a workman trained to +this particular task? + +What looks easier, for instance, than to plane a piece of wood or to dig +up the ground? + +Is it possible that the laborer, wheeling a barrow, really has to be +possest of skill or strength? + +It hardly seems so. And yet the man who takes a plane in his hands for +the first time will be astounded at the difficulty he experiences in +approximating to the regularity and lightness of stroke that comes +naturally to the carpenter. + +The man who essays to dig a piece of ground or to wheel a barrow, will +find himself making irregular ditches and traveling in zigzags, and all +this at the expense of a hundred times the energy put forth by the +workman who is accustomed to these particular forms of labor. + +The person of timidity who boasts of his remarkable exploits is +actuated, as a general rule, by sheer lack of experience. + +His peculiar fault keeps him always in the background and prevents him +from accomplishing any public action, and for this reason those efforts +appear easy to him that he has never thought of attempting. + +Further than this, aided by his false pride, he considers that his +merits are easily greater than those of the people who are not able to +understand him, and he is acting in perfect good faith when he professes +to be able to accomplish what they can not. + +Is it necessary to add that the ironical reception given to such +exhibitions of boastfulness rouse in him a feeling of irritation which +is all the greater for the fact that he does not openly show it? + +The man of resolve will never experience these unpleasant emotions. + +He knows exactly what he wants and what he can do. So we see him +marching ahead steadily, his eyes fixt upon the goal he has worked out +for himself, paying no heed whatever to misleading suggestions, which +cripple his breadth of soul and would in the end deprive him of that +essential energy which is vital to him if he would preserve his even +poise, the foundation of mental balance and the source of every real +success in life. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +WAR ON TIMIDITY + + +One can not be too insistent in asserting how harmful the lack of poise +can be, and when once this weakness has reached the stage of timidity it +may produce the most tragic consequences not only so far as the daily +routine of our lives is concerned, but also with reference to our moral +and physical equilibrium. + +So, when the nervous system is constantly set on edge by the emotions to +which this fault gives rise, it necessarily follows that all the +faculties suffer in their turn. + +This is particularly true of those who are constantly haunted by the +fear of finding themselves in a condition of mental unpreparedness, to +the extent that they prefer to remain in solitude and silence rather +than to mingle in a world which really has too many other things to +think of to concern itself with their acts or their opinions. + +This morbid dread of becoming the subject of ridicule ends by creating a +peculiar condition of mind of which, as we have already pointed out, +egoism is the pivot. + +In this way it is a common occurrence to see people of timidity paying +exaggerated attention to the slightest changes in the condition of their +health. + +Such people by shutting themselves out from the world have reduced it to +the circumference of their own personalities and everything which +touches them necessarily assumes gigantic importance in their eyes. + +The slightest opposition becomes for them a catastrophe. The smallest +unpleasantness presents itself to them in the light of a tragic +misfortune. + +For this reason the lives of the timid become a succession of boredoms +and of pains. + +Even in those cases where no really unfortunate incident occurs, these +people so exaggerate what actually does happen to them that the least +little emotion causes them the most profound unhappiness. + +On those days when nothing in particular happens they spend their time +anticipating all sorts of disasters, including those which are not the +least likely to happen. To them the tiniest cloud is an omen of a +devastating storm. + +When the sun is shining their timidity prevents them from exposing +themselves to the heat of its rays. + +The timid man, in his moral isolation, is like the hare, who, crouched +in its form, sleeps with one eye open in constant terror of the +passer-by or of the hunter. + +It may be well to add that worry about oneself is invariably an +accompaniment of all these troubles. People without poise are, with very +few exceptions, egotists who exaggerate their own importance. + +Moreover, they suffer keenly from the obscurity into which their defects +have forced them as well as from dread of the alternatives presented to +them, the making of an effort to escape this fate, an idea that fills +them with horror, or the continuing to live in the unhappy condition +that has spoiled existence for them through their own faults. + +It is hardly then a matter for surprize that so many people who are thus +mentally out of balance end by becoming neurotics or become a prey to +those cerebral disorders that are, unfortunately, all too frequent. + +This condition of solitude, at once deplored and self-imposed, has the +still more serious disadvantage of leaving the mind, for lack of proper +control, to the domination of the most false and exaggerated ideas. + +It is a well-known fact that any force of exaggeration, however obvious, +becomes less noticeable to us in proportion as it becomes more familiar. + +It exists, in the last analysis, only by its comparative relation to +other things. + +It is certain that a child ten years old would seem very large if he +were five feet high, whereas a man of that stature is considered a +dwarf. + +Among Oriental races a woman is generally classed as a blonde whose hair +is not absolutely black. + +Things only take their real appearance from a comparison with others of +the same kind. + +For all his science, an ethnologist, placed in front of a man of an +unknown tribe, would be unable to say whether this man's stature were +normal or below the average in relation to others of his race, since no +information would be forthcoming as to this people's height or +characteristics. It is, therefore, no matter for surprize that the timid +man, shut in upon himself and having no other horizon than the limited +field of his own observations, is disposed to picture them in colors +whose truth he can not verify, since the terms of comparison, vital to +the accomplishment of his end, are not available to him. + +It is, therefore, impossible for such a man not to become accustomed to +the idea as it presents itself to him, to such an extent that he is +quite unconscious of its successive changes in character. + +Do we notice the growth of a child who is constantly with us until he +reaches man's estate? + +Can we measure the development of a blossom into the perfect flower? + +Assuredly not, if we have lived daily in the company of the child and +have glanced several times an hour at the blossom. + +Both the one and the other will reach maturity without being sensibly +conscious of the fact that they are changing. + +But if we go away from the child for a few months, if, in the interval, +we see other children, we can form an estimate of his growth and can +compare him mentally with the other children we have met. + +The same is true of the flower. If other duties call us away for the +moment from contemplating it, we will notice the progress of its +unfolding and we will also be able to tell whether, in relation to that +of other plants, it is quick, slow, or merely normal. + +The man who is timid, be he never so observant, will derive no benefit +from these observations, for he is quite unable to generalize and refers +them all to a point of view which cramps them hopelessly and gives them +a color that is, entirely false. + +So, from the habit of thinking without any opposition, little by little +he allows his ideas to become changed and distorted without any one's +being able to advise him of the misconceptions which he keeps closely to +himself. + +It is for this reason that all timid people have a marked tendency to +distort facts and to acquire false ideas. + +It is often with perfect good faith that they affirm a thing which they +believe sincerely, not having had the opportunity to control the +successive changes which have transformed it absolutely from what it was +at the outset. + +It is a lucky day for timid people of this class when fate prevents them +from entering into competition with those who are possest of poise. + +Were these latter a hundred times weaker than they are they would still +end by triumphing over their feeble antagonists. + +It is above all in the affairs of ordinary every-day life that poise +renders the most valuable service. + +If it becomes a question of presenting or discussing a matter of +business, the timid man, embarrassed by his own personality, begins to +stammer, becomes confused, and can not recall a single argument. He +finally abandons all the gain that he dreamed of making in order to put +an end to the torments from which he suffers. + +He is to be considered lucky if under the domination of the troubles in +which he finds himself, he does not lose all faculty of speech. + +This failing, so common among the timid, is a further cause of confusion +to the victim. + +At the bare idea that he may become the prey of such a calamity he +unconsciously closes his lips and lowers the tones of his voice. + +The man of poise, on the other hand, feels himself the more impelled to +redouble his efforts in proportion to the need his cause has for being +well defended. + +He knows how to arrange his arguments, and to foresee those of his +adversary, and, if he finds himself face to face with a statement which +he can not refute, he will seek some means of softening the defeat or of +changing the ground of the debate in such a way as to avoid confusion to +himself. + +In any event, such an occurrence will have no profound effect upon him. +Vanquished on one point, he will find the presence of mind to at once +change the character of the discussion to questions which are at once +familiar and favorable to him. + +He who goes forth into life armed with poise has also the marked +advantage over the timid that comes from superior health. + +This phrase should not be the occasion for a smile. Timidity is a +chronic cause of poor health in those who suffer from it. + +Pushed to extremes, it is the source of a thousand nervous defects. + +We have already touched upon stammering. + +Unreasonable blushing is another misfortune of the timid. In drawing the +attention of one's opponents it betrays at once one's ideas and one's +fears. + +Fear of this uncomfortable blushing inhibits many people from making the +most of themselves or from properly protecting their own interests. + +The shame they feel on account of this inferiority leads them, as we +have seen, to seek isolation in which hypochondria slowly grows upon +them, sure forerunner of that terrible neurasthenia of which the effects +are so diverse and so disconcerting. + +The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes +transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by +a thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to +walk unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, +etc., etc. + +It must not be forgotten that these crises of embarrassments always +produce extreme emotion accompanied by palpitations whose frequent +recurrence may lead to actual heart trouble. + +All these disadvantages increase the sullenness of the timid, who are +overcome by the sense of their own physical weakness, which they know +has its origin in a condition of mind that they lack the power either to +change or to abolish. + +All these causes of physical inferiority are unknown to the man who +appreciates the value of poise and puts it into practise. + +Such a man has no fear of embarrassment in speaking. He is a stranger to +the misery of aimless blushing. If he does not always emerge victorious +from the oratorical combats in which he engages he at least has the +satisfaction of acknowledging to himself that he has not been beaten +easily or without a struggle. In short, misanthropy, neurasthenia, and +all their attendant ills, are for him unknown ailments. + +One can not be too watchful against the attacks of timidity, which, like +a contaminated spring, poisons the entire existence of those who are +unable to dam up its flow. + +Among the martyrdoms which are caused by it must be counted indecision, +which is one of its most frequent and most unhappy results. + +The timid man can not stop at any point. + +He vacillates unceasingly and takes turn by turn the most opposing +viewpoints. + +It is only fair to add that he rejects them all almost as soon as he has +formed them. + +His state of mind being always one of distrust of his own powers, it is +impossible for him not to be afraid that he has made a mistake, if he is +left to do his own thinking. + +We have seen how his craving for sympathy, never satisfied, since he +does not make it known, drives him ever into impotent rage, which throws +him back upon himself in scarcely concealed irritation, that alienates +him from all sympathy and precludes all confidences. + +It is rarely, therefore, that the timid person does not find himself +isolated when facing the decisions of greater or less gravity that daily +life makes necessary. + +In terror of making a mistake that may lead to some change of course or +give rise to the necessity of taking some definite action, he hesitates +everlastingly. + +If, driven into a corner by circumstances, he ends by making some +decision, we may be sure that he will at once regret it and that, if the +time still remains to him, he will modify it in some way, only to revert +to it again a moment later. + +His will is like a ball continually thrown to and fro by children. No +sooner is it tossed in one direction than it is suddenly sent flying in +another, to return finally to its starting-place at the moment when the +players' weariness causes it to fall to the ground. + +This particular state of mind is primarily due to two causes: + +The desire for perfection that haunts all timid people. + +The fear of making a mistake that arises from the habit of continually +mistrusting one's own judgment. + +There are many other causes, the analysis of which is far beyond the +scope of this work, but every one of these can be referred to the two +main issues we have defined. The desire for perfection is at once the +result and the cause of most timidity. + +While the man of resolve, relying upon his experience, is able to +perform his part in those normal exigencies that he is able to conceive +of, the timid man, shut off by his defects from all practical knowledge +of life, comes to grief by discovering something amiss with every course +that he considers. + +A familiar proverb tells us that everything has its good and its bad +side. + +The timid see only the latter when making the decisions that fate +imposes upon them. + +They fall into despair at their inability to see the other side of +things and their feeble will drives against solid obstacles like a car +colliding with a block of granite. + +The man of resolution, instead of yielding to despair, seeks to surmount +such a difficulty by turning his car in another direction; but, if the +new road shows him nothing but dangerous pitfalls, he will choose to go +around the block and continue his journey, remembering it as a landmark +for his return. + +For this reason we shall find him well on his way toward his journey's +end while the victim of timidity continues to exhaust himself by vain +efforts, thankful enough if he is not permanently mired in some of the +bogs into which he has imprudently ventured. This is a state of affairs +of much more frequent occurrence than one might suppose. Timidity, as we +have seen, often unites the boldest conceptions with complete +inexperience, which does not permit of accurate judgment as to +impossibilities. + +This lack of knowledge of life is also the cause of a continual fear of +making mistakes. + +The man of resolution never suffers from this complaint. + +Having taught himself the value of a ripened judgment, he is quick to +recognize the advantage to be derived from any project. He weighs +alternatives carefully and only makes his decisions on well-thought-out +grounds, after sufficient reasoned reflection to make sure that he will +have no cause for future regret. + +We have already remarked that such forms of irresolution constituted a +martyrdom. The word is by no means too strong. They are never-ending +occasions for physical and moral torture. + +They are to be met with in the most trivial details of every-day life. + +The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an +ever-recurring source of torment. + +He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead +and another back, looks despairingly at the line of vehicles that bars +his way, and, when a momentary opening in this confronts him, takes so +long to make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before +he has seized it. + +Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger +to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the +vehicles that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them, +or of any quick or dexterous movement by which he may avoid them. + +This little picture, despite its commonplace nature, is nevertheless a +symbol. + +In the crossings of life, as well as those of the streets, the man who +is timid is at an immense disadvantage when compared with the man of +poise. + +The latter does not worry his head about the traffic that blocks his +progress. + +Aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment, he stands +firmly awaiting the moment that affords him an opening. Then, with +muscles tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead +here, or glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic +and reaches his goal without having suffered from accident. + +The troubles upon which we have been dwelling are never his. His soul, +dominated by a well-ordered will, by reason, and all the other good +qualities we enumerated in the first chapter, is proof against all +attacks of weakness. + +In the event of his not possessing all these virtues, he has the wit to +keep the thought of them always before him and to work hard to acquire +them, so that he may become what, in modern parlance, we call "a force," +that is to say one whose soul is virile enough to influence not only his +mind, but even to liberate his body from the defects created in it by +distrust of self. + +But, it will be claimed, there are people who are born timid and who are +quite unable to achieve the mastery of themselves. + +Every human being can win the victory over himself. This we will prove +conclusively in the pages that are to follow, dedicated to those who are +desirous of arming themselves, in the great game of life, with that +master card which is named POISE. + + + + + + +PART II + +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +CHAPTER I + +MODESTY AND EFFRONTERY CONTRASTED + + +"Never force your talents" a well-known writer has said. One always +feels like crying this to those who, thinking to reach the goal of +poise, fall into excess and develop effrontery and exaggeratedness. + +Poise can not exist without coolness. We have seen that this quality is +rarely met with in enthusiasts. + +It is never found in those who have effrontery. + +Poise does not consist in the species of ostentatious carelessness which +essays to travel through life as a child might wander among hives of +bees without taking any precautions against being stung. + +Neither is it that false courage that drives one headlong into a +conflict without any thought as to the blows likely to fall upon the +foolhardy person who has ventured into it. + +The principle upon which we must start is this: life is a battle in +which strategy always has the advantage over blind courage. + +Unfortunate is he who, by his boasting or his lack of generalship, +decides upon an attack for which he is not really prepared. However +brave he may be he will infallibly find himself vanquished in a struggle +in which everything has combined in advance to defeat him. + +Boasting is not courage. Still less is it poise. + +Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self. It inhibits all +outward manifestations that are likely to result in giving information +to strangers with regard to our real feelings. + +Braggarts can not avoid this stumbling-block. They know nothing of the +delights of contemplation, from which arise ripe resolutions that will +be steadfastly followed. + +With the noise of their boastings, with the shouting of their own +braggart ineptitudes, they hypnotize themselves so thoroughly that they +are quite unable to hear the counsel that sane wisdom whispers in their +ears. + +They are like the man in the eastern fable who was quite unable to +follow a beaten path and was constantly wandering across the fields of +his neighbors. + +These detours were in general much longer than the direct road would +have been, and he received a constant stream of abuse, to say nothing of +blows, from the people whose crops he was ruining. + +But he seemed quite insensible to assaults and insisted upon following, +across lots, a road which led nowhere. + +It would be difficult to paint a more faithful portrait. Like the +peasant in the story, the man of effrontery is always wandering far from +the common road, the tranquil peace of which he despises. + +He delights in crossing land that he knows to be forbidden to him, seeks +to force open gates that are closed at his approach, and, if he can not +overcome the opposition of the porter, watches for the moment when an +open window will permit him entrance into a house where he will be +coldly, if not angrily, received. + +What is the result of this? + +Nothing favorable to his plans, one may be sure. People point him out. +They fly from him, and were he the bearer of the most advantageous +proposition, refuse to put any faith in his assertions as soon as they +get to know him in the least. + +Effrontery may sometimes impose upon the innocent. But it is only a +momentary deception, quickly dissipated the moment that time is given to +estimate the emptiness of its claims. + +There is another variety of effrontery that is comparable to the form of +courage exhibited by the timorous who sing in a loud voice in order to +lessen their terror and imagine that by so doing they give the illusion +of bravery. + +People of this sort talk very loudly, often contradicting themselves, +and pass judgment upon everything, dismissing the most difficult +questions with only a passing thought, but remain silent and are put +completely out of countenance as soon as one insists upon their +listening to reason, or when--in familiar language--they "meet their +match." + +The man of effrontery is a passionate devotee of bluff, and not only of +that variety of which Jonathan Dick has said: + +"It is a security discounted in advance." + +A little further on he adds: + +"Bluffers of the right sort are only so when the occasion demands it, in +order to give the impression that the wished-for result has already been +achieved. + +"As soon as their credit is assured and appearances have become +realities that allow them to establish themselves in positions of +security they at once cease the effort to deceive." + +Our author concludes: + +"Bluff, to be successful, must never be founded upon puerility or brag." + +Now these two qualities are always to be met with in the doings of the +man of effrontery, who only achieves by accident the goal he aims at, +and then only in the most insecure way. + +Drawbacks differing as to their causes, but equally unlucky as to their +results, are born of the opposite fault--modesty. + +It is high time to destroy the leniency shown toward this defect that +old-fashioned educators once decorated with the title of virtue. + +Time has forged ahead, taking with it in its rapid course all forms of +progress, which, in its turn, has made giant strides. + +Ideas have changed materially. Modern life has to face emergencies +formerly undreamed of, and those who still believe in the virtue of +modesty are their own enemies, as well as those of the people whom they +advise to cultivate it. + +The case of this man is similar to that of many others, whose meaning +has been undergoing a gradual change due to the erroneous interpretation +that has deliberately been placed upon it. + +Modesty is very frequently nothing more than an evidence of +incompetence. + +It has rise in sentiments that the man who would be up to date must +avoid at all hazards--distrust of self and hatred of exertion. + +One rarely finds it in the man who is active and who knows his own +worth. To revenge itself, it flourishes among the lazy, who try to save +their pride and to conceal their secret irritation at the successes of +others by assuming an humble attitude and exclaiming: + +"Oh! I didn't care to do it!" + +Or still more frequently: + +"No, I haven't entered the lists. I am absolutely without ambition!" + +Under similar circumstances people who are unknown cry out, and with +reason: + +"Oh! I have a horror of publicity!" + +This is simply a roundabout way of informing us that were it not for +their retiring modesty, the hundred mouths of rumor would be shouting +their praise. + +Modesty is very rarely what it appears to be. As soon as it exhibits the +form of a wise reserve it must be called by another name: prudence and +self-justification. + +The attitude of trying to keep one's actions from becoming known is not +a laudable one, and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of +inaction. + +What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the +scientists and all the men of genius had made a practise of modesty! + +If our forefathers had been modest, when it was the fashion to be proud +of this quality, our museums would be empty and only a few of the +initiated would know that men of exceptional merit, which they had +sedulously concealed, had written manuscripts which had never been +published. The humility of the writers in such cases could be made to +pay too severe a penalty. + +No! Men who have merits are not modest! This false virtue is the +appanage of none but weak and irresolute hearts. + +We should congratulate ourselves, while admitting these facts, that our +forefathers were not so constituted, and that their faith in themselves, +by giving them confidence in their own work, made it possible for them +to hand these on to their descendants. + +Of what use to us would it be to know that a poem of finer quality and +more splendid fire than any we have ever read had once been written, if +the modesty of its author had led him to keep it always in his pocket +and it had finally vanished into the limbo of ignored and forgotten +things? + +It is then actually wrong to sing the praises of modesty, which is no +more than distrust of oneself, egoism, and laziness. + +The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing +nothing. He hides his ineptitude behind this convenient veil whose +thickness allows him to hint of the existence of things which are +nothing but figments of his imagination. + +We might add that the man who proclaims his modesty enters the struggle +with a decided handicap against him. The moment he begins to have doubts +about his own powers he will be sure to find himself the prey of an +unfortunate indecision, and that at the very moment when he is called +upon to perform some decisive action. + +"One day," says an old writer, "three men, in the course of a climb up a +mountain, found themselves confronted by a crevasse that they must +cross. + +"One of these was a timid man, another a boaster, and the third was +possest of a reasoned poise. + +"The boaster made a jump without stopping to think and without taking +the trouble to measure the gap. He plunged into it. + +"The modest man then advanced, looked down into the gulf, then decided +to make use of the irregularities in the surface of the chasm to reduce +the width of the jump. + +"He made several attempts to carry this out, but could hardly touch the +edge before an instinctive movement of fear forced him back. + +"He worked so hard and so long at this that he was quite tired out when +he at last chose the moment for the decisive attempt. He jumped, indeed, +but in such a half-hearted way that he merely touched the opposite face +of the crevasse and fell to the bottom of the precipice alongside of the +boaster. + +"The third climber, who possest the advantage of poise, had meanwhile +been losing no time. He had mentally gaged the width of the crevasse, +had made a number of trial jumps to test his ability to clear it, and +when, with a firm resolution to succeed, he reached the edge from which +he must leap, his soul, fortified by the knowledge of his powers was +fired with a single idea, the consciousness of his own agility and +strength. + +"By this means he, alone of the three, was able to cross the gulf in +which his two companions had perished." + +Effrontery and boastfulness have often another source. The shyness of +those who suffer from timidity, by isolating them and denying them the +means of expansion, prevents them from obtaining a real control over +their feelings, which undergo a process of deterioration so slow that +they do not notice it. + +There are very few things to which we can not easily become accustomed, +to the extent of a complete failure to notice their peculiarities, if +their strangeness is only unfolded to us gradually. + +A thousand things which shock us at the first blush take on the guise of +every-day matters when once we have acquired the habit of familiarity +with them. + +The timid man, who will not openly acknowledge his feelings, is +practically unable to take cognizance of their gradual transformation. + +We may add that he is always prone to dream, and peoples his world +involuntarily with imaginary utopias, which he begins by considering as +desirable, then as possible, and finally as actually existing. + +This is the starting-point of boastfulness. It partakes at once of +falsity and of sincerity. The timid man loves to feel himself important, +and he merely pities the people whom he considers incapable of +understanding him. He is, nevertheless, sincere in his bravado, as his +dreams entirely deceive him as to his real self. + +In his solitary meditations he deliberately shakes off his own +personality, as a butterfly abandons the shelter of its chrysalis, and, +following the example of that gorgeous insect, he flies away on the +wings of his dreams in the guise of the being that he imagines himself +to have become. + +This creature resembles him not at all. It is brave, courageous, +eloquent. It accomplishes the most brilliant feats of daring. + +In this way, just so soon as the timid man becomes intermittently a +braggart, he commences to boast of exploits quite impossible of +performance. We must remember, however, that it is not he who speaks, +but merely the idealized ego which he invents because he is chagrined at +being misunderstood. + +Moral isolation is the parent of other curious phenomena. It imparts the +gift of seeing things exactly as we would wish them to be, by clothing +them little by little with a character entirely foreign to that which +they really possess. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," we are told the following little +personal anecdote of the Japanese philosopher Yoritomo: + +"It was my misfortune as a child," says this ancient sage, "to be the +victim of a serious illness which kept me confined to a bed and unable +to move. + +"I was not allowed to read and my only distraction was the study of the +objects in my immediate neighborhood. + +"The pattern of a screen made a particular impression upon me with its +clusters of flowers and its bouquets of roses. + +"I passed hours in the contemplation of it. + +"At first I merely followed the outlines with my eye, finding in them no +more than an artistic reproduction of nature. But, little by little, the +clusters of flowers were transformed into gardens, the rose-trees took +on the imposing aspect of forests. In these gardens my dreams created a +princess, and in the forest a company of warriors. + +"Then the romance began. + +"Every new line I observed became the pretext for creating a new +character. The princess was very soon taken captive by a giant--whom I +saw perfectly--and the warriors undertook the task of rescue. + +"Every day a panorama moved before me of changing personalities, who +reenacted the events of the story. Finally the obsession took such a +strong hold of me that I began to talk about it in a manner that aroused +the fears of my parents. + +"The screen was banished from my room and when, a few days later, it was +brought back for me to see, I was able to discover nothing more in it +than the designs with which it was adorned." + +This example, taken directly from life, shows us better than the most +extended arguments the dangers of moral isolation. + +By this we do not mean the isolation that is essential to concentration, +the practise of which always leads to the most fruitful results. + +We are speaking solely of the aloofness born of timidity or of +exaggerated pride, which, in depriving us of contrary views, develops in +us the propensity to see things from only one angle, which is always +that which happens to flatter our vanity or please our tastes. + +All those persons who suffer from this disease of the will, which +deprives them of the ability of discussing things, may be compared to +runners who have neglected to ascertain the limits of their race. + +Like the latter, they keep running round the same track without any +means of discovering when they are nearing the goal. + +Instead of stopping, when they have reached it, they keep running +forward and the monotony of their efforts, coupled with the fever-heat +engendered by their exertions, very soon causes them to view the objects +that they keep passing and passing under a deformed and distorted +aspect. + +The man of reason, on the other hand, runs with the single purpose in +his mind of reaching the winning-post. He studiously avoids taking his +eyes off the goal, which he has carefully located in advance, and takes +pains to note the moment when he is nearing it, so as to run no risks of +making his spurt too soon. + +It is a matter of frequent observation that timidity often voluntarily +assumes the rôle of effrontery, from very despair of successfully +accomplishing the task it is ambitious to perform. + +Illustrious examples of this contention are not lacking. Rousseau, who +was a coward of the greatest hardihood, says in his _Confessions_: + +"My foolish and unreasoning fear, that I was quite unable to overcome, +of perpetrating some breach of good manners led me to assume the +attitude of caring nothing for the niceties of life." + +A little further on, he adds: + +"I was made a cynic by shyness. I posed as a despiser of the politeness +I did not know how to practise." + +This is a much more frequent cause than one might think of the +exhibition of an effrontery which is apparently deliberate and +intentional. + +The timid man, feeling himself awkward and clownish when performing the +usual acts of courtesy, assumes the attitude of caring nothing for them +and of avoiding them deliberately, while all the while he is tortured by +the inability to perform them without seeming ridiculous. + +But the onlooker is not deceived. The outward appearance of cynicism +often conceals an inward sensitiveness of soul that is quite obvious, +and the actor makes so poor a hand at identifying himself with the +character he would assume that it is clearly evident he is only playing +a part. + +The conflict of diametrically opposing forces shows itself plainly in +his attitude which vacillates between the stiffest formality and the +easiest assurance. + +The awkwardness that is the bugbear of the timid shows itself even +beneath their work of cynicism, and the very effort accuses them, no +less than their flighty and unreasoning conversation and their gestures, +now exaggerated and now represt, all of which make up a whole that +entirely fails to give an impression of harmony. + +And what possible harmony can there be between a soul and a body that +are completely out of accord with each other? + +Should it be asked what the difference is between presumption or +effrontery and the poise that we have in mind, this simple illustration +should be illuminating. + +Effrontery, bravado, and exaggeration are qualities that are shown by +those who exceed their own capacity without giving the question a +thought. + +Poise is the virtue which gives us the strength of mind to analyze the +possibilities that are dominant within us, to cultivate them, and to +strengthen them in every possible way before undertaking an enterprise +which is likely to call them into play. + +Real poise has no bluster about it. It has a good deal in it of +self-possession, the discretion belonging to which is one of its marked +characteristics. + +Repression of our outward movements enables us to achieve that control +over our emotions which makes a perfect cloak for our intentions, and +leaves our opponents in perplexity as to how to attack the fortress that +they wish to conquer. + +It is, therefore, between modesty and effrontery, both equally +prejudicial to success, that poise must naturally be placed. + +But, it will be objected, all the world does not possess this gift of +poise. Are those who do not share it to be forever denied all chance of +success? + +Not so! It is open to all the world to acquire this gift, and if the +chapters following this are read with care it will be seen that it is +something that can be cultivated, so that it can be gradually perfected +and carried about with one as the germ of every sort of success, the +happy issue of which depends upon a thorough realization of one's own +merits and the honorable ambition to accomplish a task that has been +prudently planned and bravely carried to an end. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +PHYSICAL EXERCISES TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +Before preparing oneself by the exercise of reasoning and will-power for +the acquisition of poise, it is vitally necessary to make oneself +physically fit for the effort to be undertaken. + +One should begin with this fundamental principle: + +Timidity being a disease one must treat it just as one would any other +illness. + +Like all other physical maladies it is sure to be the cause of loss of +social prestige to those who suffer from it. + +It must then be combated in the same way as any other infirmity of long +standing that threatens to ruin the life of the sufferer. + +It is a grave mistake to consider it merely a mental ailment that can be +alleviated by nothing but psychological treatment. + +One's nervous condition plays a very large part in the conquest of +poise. + +We must, therefore, watch most carefully over the good health of the +body before taking any measures whatever to abolish a condition of +affairs that has been engendered by physical weakness and that will be +fostered by it unless such weakness can be eradicated or more or less +dissipated and ameliorated by a thousand little daily acts of care. + +It must be understood that we are not now speaking of medical treatment. +We have reference merely to that common-sense hygiene which has become +more or less a part of modern existence, and the daily practise of +which, while firmly establishing the health, has at the same time an +undoubted reflex action upon the mind. It is a well-known fact that +energy is never found in a weakened body, and that people who are +suffering are clearly marked down to become the prey of those wasting +diseases, whose names, all more or less fantastic, may be classed as a +whole under the general heading of "nervous maladies." + +To enumerate them is superfluous and unnecessary. Lack of poise gives +rise to all sorts of weaknesses, which are given the names of nervous +diseases and finally become classed in the category of phobias, of which +the starting-point is always a habit of fear due to excess of timidity. +This morbid disposition is the parent of a continual apprehensiveness +which is shown upon all sorts of occasions. + +The man who has the space phobia is quite unable to cross an open space +unless he is supported or, at the very least, accompanied. + +Claustrophobia is the malady of those who have a horror of close +quarters from which they can not easily make their escape. + +Writers' cramp is nothing in the world but one of these exaggerated +nervous terrors. + +Erythrophobia, that is to say the habit of inopportune and constant +blushing, is another of the commonest forms of excessive timidity. + +Stammering is another of the tortures that people of poise do not +experience, except in those cases where it is caused by a physical +malformation. + +All these maladies attack only the timid. + +There are many others, less serious in their nature, such as indecision, +exaggerated scrupulousness, extreme pliability, hypochondria. All of +these should be ruthlessly supprest the moment we become aware of them, +for they are one and all the forerunners of that mentally diseased +condition which gives rise to the phobias of which we have just been +speaking. + +To those who would seriously devote themselves to the cultivation of +poise it is, therefore, a vital necessity to be in a condition of +perfect health. It would be a misfortune, indeed, for them to find +themselves balked in their progress toward acquiring this quality by +anxieties regarding the condition of their bodies. + +Any indisposition, not to mention actual diseases, has a tendency to +inhibit all initiative. + +There is no room for doubt that a physical ailment by attracting to +itself the attention of the person who is attacked by it, prevents him +from giving the proper amount of energy to whatever he may be engaged +upon. + +He thinks about nothing but his malady and quite forgets to take the +exercises that would enable him to alter his condition, to change his +actions, and even to make over his thoughts. + +His thoughts above all. Physical well-being has an undeniable influence +upon one's mental health. + +One very rarely sees a sick person who is happy. Even those who are +endowed with great force of character lose, under the burden of their +sufferings, part of their firmness of soul and of their legitimate +ambition. + +A very scientific force of hygiene is particularly recommended. +Excessive measures of any sort must be avoided for various reasons: + +(1) They are antagonistic to the maintenance of a perfect physical +equilibrium. + +(2) They will inevitably grow to dominate the mind unduly. + +When we speak of excesses, we intend to include those undertaken in the +way of work no less than those which are the outcome of the search for +pleasure. + +Nevertheless we will hasten to add that these last are much the more to +be feared. + +What can be expected, for instance, from a man who has passed a night in +debauchery? + +Morning finds him a weakling, good for nothing, and incapable of making +the slightest effort that calls for energy. + +He is lucky, indeed, if his excesses have no disastrous results that +will destroy his happiness or his good name. + +The fear of complications that may be the outcome of his gross pleasures +soon begins to haunt him and to usurp in his mind the place of nobler +and more useful impulses. + +As to his health, it is hardly necessary for us to insist upon the +disorder that such habits must necessarily produce. + +The least misfortune that he can look for is a profound lassitude and a +desire for rest which is the enemy of all virile effort. + +The same thing is true of the man who indulges too freely in the +pleasures of the table. The work of digestion leaves him in an exhausted +condition and with a craving for repose that very soon results in a +complete lack of moral tone. + +Even supposing that his daily routine consists of two principal meals, +and of two others of less importance, it will be easily understood that +the man who loads down his stomach with such a large amount of +continuous work will not be very apt to adapt himself readily to matters +of a wholly different kind. + +To avoid pain, to sit inert, like a gorged animal, without attempting to +think, is the sole desire of the gluttons who are wearied by every +repeated excess. + +The same reasoning could be applied to the lazy, who suffer in health +from indulgence in their favorite vice. + +It can not be disputed that lack of exercise is the cause of ailments +that have a marked effect upon the moral character. + +Since physical laziness always goes hand in hand with mental apathy, it +follows that a dread of exerting oneself is always to be found coupled +with a hatred of being forced to think. + +It is, therefore, essential for the man who would acquire poise to +fortify himself in advance against physical weaknesses which, by +undermining his will-power, will soon furnish him with the most +plausible reasons for losing interest in the steady application that is +needed for accomplishing his purpose. + +In achieving the conquest of poise certain physical exercises, practised +every day, and vigorously followed out, will be found of considerable +help. + +Before discussing the practical methods which are at once their +starting-point and their result, we will consider in turn the series of +exercises that must be performed each day in order to keep oneself in +the condition of physical well-being which allows of the accomplishment +of moral reform. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FOUR SERIES OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES + + +FIRST SERIES--BREATHING + +The point of departure for the cultivation of poise, like that of +everything else in fact, must be a well-ordered system of hygiene, far +removed from excess, and insisting only upon the points we have already +indicated. + +Without wishing to fall into the well-known error of so many modern +teachers, who assign an exaggerated importance to breathing exercises, +we must, nevertheless, admit the great rôle that respiration plays in +physical balance. + +We are now speaking, understand, of methodical breathing, we might +almost term it "reasoned" breathing. + +Every one, of course, breathes without being aware of it from the moment +of his birth to the hour of his death, but very few people are aware how +to increase the power and to enlarge the capacity of their lungs. + +Nevertheless, upon these conditions it is that activity depends, as well +as the health and the energy that enables us to consecrate ourselves to +the pursuit of a definite aim. + +Without having to lay claim to a vast knowledge of medicine one can +discover that all repeated exercise tends to strengthen the organ that +is employed. + +Thus, well-directed and carefully practised breathing gives the heart a +stronger beat and facilitates the action of the lungs. + +From these arises a general feeling of physical well-being, which tends +to the preservation of good health and stores up the energy we need to +carry out our resolves. + +It is, then, advisable to devote several minutes every day to breathing +exercises, not merely automatic, but purposeful and under thorough +control. + +To accomplish this there are two methods. + +The first, very easy of comprehension, is to lie down on one's back and +to breathe deeply with the mouth closed and the nostrils dilated. + +As much air as can be held must be taken into the lungs, then the mouth +must be opened and the air must be allowed to escape gradually. + +During this operation one should pay particular attention to expanding +the walls of the chest, while flattening the stomach. + +About twenty deep respirations are required to accomplish the desired +effect. + +Little by little the lungs will dilate and one will unconsciously +increase the length of the inspiration and the slowness with which the +air is expelled. + +The second method consists in standing erect, with the head thrown +slightly back. The lungs should then be filled with air and one should +count mentally up to five or even ten before exhaling the air that has +been breathed in. + +It is advisable that when exhaling one should utter a continuous hum, +which must be absolutely free from trembling when one has practised it +properly. + +People who have practised this exercise have often stated that this +method of breathing has been of great help to them when much fatigued as +well as a first-class stimulus in moments when all their physical powers +were to be called into play. + +A well-known college professor has assured us that every day, before +giving his lectures, he makes use of this exercise. He claims that he +has thus gained a freedom of breathing the good effects of which are +manifest in the facility with which he is able to give his lecture and +in his general feeling of ease. Rendered quite free from any suspicion +of nervousness, he feels that he is completely master of himself and in +a fit state of moral and physical health to employ the poise that is +essential to the man who has to instruct and to convince others. + +Deep breathing has the further advantage of developing the lungs, of +strengthening them, and at the same time of making their ordinary +functioning more regular. + +The man who practises this exercise will have much less propensity to +get out of breath. This will be a great assistance to those timid people +who are disconcerted by trifles and who, at the least little occurrence, +become so much affected by emotion that they experience a sensible +acceleration of the action of the heart. + +Palpitation can not take place without causing us physical discomfort, +and this condition is a serious stumbling-block in the way of the +acquisition of poise, for, in view of the great stress the man of +timidity lays upon the opinion of others, he will be apprehensive of +giving them any inkling of his distress, and yet his difficulty in +breathing will be bound to reveal it. + +The exercise of which we have been speaking should be performed with +care twice a day. + +For those whose leisure hours are few it can be accomplished without +losing any of the time which is already preempted by other things. + +It is merely a question of remembering it as soon as one wakes in the +morning and of never forgetting it before one falls asleep at night. + +The few minutes between the moment that one wakes and the time one gets +out of bed can be most profitably employed in this way. + +The same thing is true at night. + +If the occupations of the day and of the evening leave us no time to +devote to this exercise, we can always go through it in the moments +between retiring to bed and falling asleep. + +It will thus be seen that there is really no valid excuse for not +undertaking this practise, whose effects will certainly be most +beneficial. + + +SECOND SERIES--TRAINING OF THE EYE + +But our physical efforts must not stop here. + +It is more than necessary that we should make others feel the effects of +the mastery that we are slowly acquiring over ourselves. + +The eye is an invaluable assistant to the man who is studying to acquire +poise. + +It is not necessary here, in connection with the magnetic properties of +the eye, to enter into a digression too extensive for the scope of this +book, but we can not neglect this one more-than-important factor +altogether. + +We are speaking now not only of the power in the gaze of others but of +that of our own eyes in relation to our associates. + +We must do our best, in fine, to develop the power of our gaze, while +studying to fortify ourselves against the influence brought to bear upon +us in this direction by others. + +One frequently notices, especially in the case of people who are timid, +a propensity to lose their powers of resistance with those who are able +to fix them with a steady stare. + +One has often seen people who lack will-power emerging completely upset +from the grueling of an interview in which they have admitted everything +that they had most fervently resolved never to disclose. + +A superior force has dominated them to such an extent that they have +found it impossible to conduct the discussion in the way they had +planned to do it. + +The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must, then, be on his +guard against betraying himself under the magnetism of some one else's +gaze. + +At the same time he must cultivate his own powers of the eye, so that +he, too, can possess that ability against which, in others, he must be +careful to protect himself, and can utilize it for his own ends. + +The first principle is to avoid looking directly into the pupils of +one's interlocutor. + +This is the only way in which a beginner can avoid being affected by the +magnetism of the gaze. + +By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon +the supernatural. + +We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced +by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady +stare. + +Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are +quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, +and finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape +from the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to +dictate the words that they must utter. + +One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself to become swayed by the +gaze of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes +constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the +face of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the +magnetic effect of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his +nose directly between his eyes. + +When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, +for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one +will quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating. + +But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too +fixedly. + +It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic +point." + +In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and +particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking +steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked +effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will. + +Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the +possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the +ordinary applications of poise. + +One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first and later +on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that the eye +can remain fixt upon it without discomfort. + +For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant +object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness. + +We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a +matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer +than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise. + +One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One +should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be +kept steady and the pupils motionless. + +If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest +winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again. + +It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to +keep it up for more than a few seconds. + +After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the +time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least +four or five minutes of perfect fixity. + +In order to keep count of the time that is passing, as well as to keep +control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a +way that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every +two numbers. + +When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other +exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the +head slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from +this point for a moment. + +It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have +been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test. + +To do this, one must take up a position in front of a glass and fix +one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it +to the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep +it there immovably. + +At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose. +The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some +slight difficulty in breaking away from it. + +For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a +predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once +transferred to the bridge of the nose. + +These exercises of the eye will be found particularly beneficial for +people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as aside from the advantages +we have specified, they have the effect of strengthening the will-power, +which will be found to have materially gained by this means. + +When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels +oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at +the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it +will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely +associated. + +One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, +to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of +that of other people. + + +THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE + +Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle +against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of +timidity. + +Let us make ourselves clear. + +Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious +embarrassment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements. + +Others fall into this embarrassment as the result of exhibitions of +clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of +renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which +they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in +their gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness. + +It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant +conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of +weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement. + +We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public. + +The most embarrassed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in +a fashion quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends. + +It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a +habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the +person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, +the awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame +at his own expense. + +In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it +can be arrived at, without a shadow of doubt, if our advice is +faithfully followed out. + +It is an obvious truth that the repetition of any act diminishes the +emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance. + +Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of +movement and to extend its scope. + +Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in +bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to +our advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to +devote five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the +acquirement of an easy carriage from the frequent repetition of certain +movements. + +For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as +possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by +jerky movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be +every day made a little more extended. + +While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect +arch. + +Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's +steps of even length and one's body erect. + +One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed on the +pretext of lack of time. + +Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other +movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every +day with regularity and conscientiousness. + +The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out +while we are dressing. + +Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, +and repeat it in front of the glass while observing yourself carefully, +to be sure that your face shows no sign of embarrassment and that you do +not stammer or hesitate in any way. + +If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop +and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able +to enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of +hesitation. + +You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which +disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the assurance +that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying +attention to their own lack of composure. + +Finally, from the moment of rising, as well as when brushing his hair, +tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to +acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his +movements more supple and to invest them with grace. + +Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without +exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without +looking directly ahead of him. + +If this attitude is a difficult one for him when commencing, he can, at +the start, assign a certain time for observing this position, and +gradually increase its length, until he feels no further inconvenience. + +The feeling of obvious awkwardness is a large factor in the lack of +poise. + +It is then a matter of great importance to modify one's outward +carriage, while at the same time applying oneself to the conquest of +one's soul, so as to achieve the object not only of actually becoming a +man who must be reckoned with, but of impressing every one with what one +is, and what one is worth. + + +FOURTH SERIES--SPEAKING EXERCISES + +Is it really necessary to point out what a weight readiness of speech +has in bringing about the success of any undertaking? + +The man who can make a clever and forceful speech will always convince +his hearers, whatever may be the cause he pleads. + +Do we not see criminals acquitted every day solely because of the +eloquence of their lawyers? + +Have we not often been witnesses to the defeat of entirely honest people +who, from lack of ability to put up a good argument, allow themselves to +be convicted of negligence or of carelessness, if of nothing worse? + +Eloquence, or at least a certain facility of speech, is one of the gifts +of the man of poise. + +One reason for this is that his mind is always fixt upon the object he +wishes to attain by his arguments, which eliminates all wandering of the +thoughts. + +But there is another reason, a purely physical one. The emotions +experienced by the timid are quite unknown to him and he is not the +victim of any of the physical inhibitions which, in affecting the +clearness of their powers of speech, tend to reduce them to confusion. + +Stammering, stuttering, and all the other ordinary disabilities of the +speaker, can almost without exception be attributed to timidity and to +the nervousness of which it is the cause. + +We shall see in the next chapter how these defects can be cured. + +In this, which is devoted specially to physical exercises, we will give +the mechanical means for overcoming these grave defects. + +Just as soon as the difficulties of utterance have been overcome, and +one is no longer in terror of falling into a laughable blunder, and thus +has no further reason to fear, when undertaking to speak, that one will +be made fun of because the object of disconcerting mockery, one's ideas +will cease to be dammed up by this haunting dread and can take shape in +one's brain just as fast as one expresses them. + +Clearness of conception will be reflected in that of what we say, and +poise will soon manifest itself in the manner of the man who no longer +feels himself to be the object of ill-natured laughter. + +One should set oneself then every morning to the performance of +exercises consisting of opening the mouth as wide as one possibly can +and then shutting it, to open it once more to its fullest extent, and so +on until one becomes fatigued. + +This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those +who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as "heavy jaw." + +One should next endeavor to pronounce every consonant with the utmost +distinctness. + +If certain consonants, as _s_, for example, or _ch_, are not enunciated +clearly, one should keep at it until one pronounces them satisfactorily. + +Now one should construct short sentences containing as many difficult +consonants as possible. + +Next we should apply ourselves to declaiming longer sentences. + +It will be of help to have these sentences constitute an affirmation of +will-power and of poise. + +For example: "I can express myself with the greatest possible facility, +because timidity and embarrassment are complete strangers to me." + +Or again: "I am a master of the art of clothing my thoughts in elegant +and illuminating phrases, because stammering, stuttering, and all the +other misfortunes that oppress the timid, are to me unknown quantities." + +We can not insist too strongly upon the cumulative effect of words which +are constantly repeated. It is a good thing to impress oneself with +forceful ideas that make for courage and for achievement. + +Distrust of self being the principal defect of the timid, the man who +would acquire poise must bend every effort to banishing it from his +thoughts. + +The repetition of these sentences, by building up conviction, will +undoubtedly end by creating a confidence in oneself that will at first +be hesitating, but will gradually acquire force. This is a great step in +advance on the road toward poise. + +We are discussing, it should be understood, only such cases of +difficulty in speaking as are directly traceable to an inherent +timidity. + +If the inability to speak clearly comes from a physical malformation it +should at once be brought to the attention of a specialist. + +It is well recognized that, in the majority of cases, those defects are +the consequences of timidity, when they are not its direct cause. + +In combating them, then, with every means at his disposal, the man who +desires to acquire poise will prove the logicality of his mind. It is a +well-known axiom that effects are produced by causes, and _vice versa_. + +Thus, in the case we are considering, timidity either causes the +difficulty in speaking or is caused by it. In the first condition as +well as in the second, the disappearance of the one trouble depends upon +the eradication of the other. + + + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR OBTAINING POISE + + +COMPOSURE + +One of the essential conditions of acquiring poise is to familiarize +oneself with the habit of composure. + +Timid people know nothing of its advantages. They are always ill at +ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censures, and +completely upset by the idea of the least initiative. + +Their mania leads them to exaggerate the smallest incident. A trifle +puts them in a panic, and at the mere notion that strangers have +perceived this they become quite out of countenance and are possest by +but one idea, to avoid by flight the repetition of such unpleasant +emotions. + +A quite useless attempt, for in whatever retirement people who lack +poise may live, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the +small embarrassments of every-day life, which, in their eyes, will soon +take on the guise of disasters. + +Composure should, then, be the first achievement in the way of +self-conquest to be aimed at by the man who is desirous of attaining +poise. + +But, it will be objected, composure is a condition that is not familiar +to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of disposition. Every +one who wishes for it can not attain to it. + +This is an error. In order to possess composure, that is to say the +first step in the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the +proportions of things, it must be achieved, or developed, if we happen +to be naturally inclined thereto. + +To accomplish this, deep-breathing exercises are often recommended by +the philosophers of the new school. + +They advise those who are desirous of cultivating it to make no +resolution, to commit themselves to no impulsive action, without first +withdrawing into themselves and taking five or six deep breaths in the +manner we have described in the preceding chapter. + +This has the physical effect of reducing the speed with which the heart +beats and, as a result, of relaxing the mind and quieting one's nerves. + +During the two or three minutes thus employed one's enthusiasm wanes and +one's ideas take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning +impulses no longer fill the brain to the extent of inhibiting the +entrance of sober second thought. + +But this is only an adventitious means of prevention. We will now speak +of those which should become a matter of daily practise and whose +frequent repetition will lead to the poise we seek. + +Every one whose profession makes it necessary to cultivate his memory +recognizes the importance of studying at night. Phrases learned just +before going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They +remain latent in the brain and spring up anew in the morning without +calling for much trouble to revive them. + +For this reason it is well to retire to rest in a mental attitude of +deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky movement and +constraining oneself to lie perfectly quiet. + +At the same time one should keep on repeating these words: + +"I am composed. I propose to be composed. I am composed!" + +The constant reiteration of these words constitute a species of +suggestion, and peace will steal gradually into our souls and will +permit us to think quietly, without the risk of becoming entangled in +disordered fancies, or, what is far worse, falling a prey to vain and +unavailing regrets. + +Those who doubt the efficacy of this proceeding can be readily convinced +by proving to them the tremendous power of mere words. + +Certain of these electrify us. Such words as patriotism, revolt, blood, +always produce in us an emotion of enthusiasm or disgust. + +Others again are productive of color, and one must admit that the +constant repetition of an assurance ultimately leads to the creation of +the condition that it pictures to us. + +But to make the assertion to oneself, "I am composed," is not all that +is necessary. One must prove to oneself that one is not glossing over +the truth. + +The readiest means of accomplishing this, which is open to every one who +has any regular interests, is to mentally review the words and the +actions of the day, and to pass judgment upon them from the point of +view of the quality one is striving to attain. + + +DAILY SELF-EXAMINATION + +One should convince oneself as soon as possible of the truth of the fact +that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that +firmness of judgment that must be cultivated by the man who is in search +of poise. + +In order to reach this condition nothing is more easy than to pass in +mental review, every evening, the events that have marked the day that +has passed. + +In a word, one should strive to relive it, honestly confessing to +oneself all the mistakes that have crept into it. + +Every unfortunate speech should be recalled. One should formulate fresh +replies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so +that under similar circumstances we may not be again caught at a +disadvantage. + +The witty name of "doorstep repartee" has been given to these answers +which one makes as afterthoughts, with the idea of expressing the +embarrassment of the man who can find no arguments until he finds +himself beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, +when one is on the doorstep, that one suddenly recognizes what one ought +to have said, and finds the phrases that one should have used, the exact +retort that one might have hurled at one's antagonist. + +The man who has acquired poise should still accustom himself to practise +this force of mental gymnastics when making his daily self-examination. + +It will strengthen him for future contests by teaching him just how to +conduct himself. + +He must be always on his guard against one of the obsessions that too +often afflict the timid--the mania for extremes. + +The nature of a timid person is essentially artificial. His character is +unequal. + +He yearns for perfection, yet it is painful for him to meet it in +others. He suffers also because he has failed to acquire it himself. + +Sometimes he is his own most severe judge and then on other occasions he +is grossly indulgent to his faults. + +His isolation causes him to construct ideals that can not possibly be +realized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who +fall short of them, while making no effort to duplicate their struggles. + +He makes the sad mistake, as we have seen in the chapter on effrontery, +of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry at his inability +to make other people see them in the same light. + +He is, moreover, of a very trustful disposition and prone to the making +of confidences. But when he attempts them his infirmity prevents him and +he suffers under the inhibition. + +All his mental processes, as we have seen, tend toward hypochondria, +unless his sense of truth can be called into play. + +One can easily see then that this daily self-examination can be made +quite a difficult affair by all these conflicting tendencies. + +It is for this very reason that it is so necessary that this examination +should be rigorously undertaken every day and with all the good faith of +which we are possest. + +It is because they do not ignore their own weaknesses that the men +endowed with poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," +that is to say people who are masters of a power that renders them +superior to the rest of the world. + + +RESOLUTION + +After as minute and as honest an examination as we can make of our own +actions, it will be of great benefit to make definite resolutions for +the morrow. + +This is a matter of great importance. + +The timid man, by seriously resolving to perform the actions that he +ought and by planning the accomplishment of some definite step, will +unconsciously strengthen his own will-power. + +He will increase it still more by making up his mind to leave no stone +unturned to conquer himself. + +For instance, he proposes to make a certain journey, or to pay a certain +call, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to +himself: "To-morrow I will go there! I will carry the thing through with +assurance!" + +Conceding the magnetic power of words, the acquisition of courage and of +confidence are necessary corollaries. + +Ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep +develop during the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow +present themselves to us quite naturally in the guise of a duty much +less hard to perform than we had imagined. + +In the case where such a resolution awakens an unpleasant emotion in the +hearts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that +tend to composure and should seek the aid of the means we have indicated +for attaining it. + + +PREPARATION + +In order to strengthen one's resolution it is a good thing every morning +to map out one's day, for the purpose of acquiring poise. + +All one's combinations should be worked out with this valuable conquest +in mind. + +After having committed oneself to a definite plan, one should analyze +each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into account all the +peculiarities that are likely to characterize them. + +If one is to have an interview, one should carefully prepare one's +introductory remarks, paying particular attention to one's line of +action, to one's method of presentation, and the words upon which one +relies to obtain an affirmative reply to one's request. + +One should take the precaution to have one's speeches mentally prepared +in advance, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and +convincing fashion that one does not find oneself in a state of +embarrassment fatal to recollecting them. + +It is better to make them as short as possible. One is then much less +likely to become confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering +or stuttering, which are always accompaniments of the fear of being left +without an idea of what to say next. + +Besides this, long speeches are always irritating, and it is a sign of +great lack of address to allow oneself to acquire the reputation of +being a bore. + +To make sure of one's facial expression and gestures it may be well to +repeat one's speeches in front of a mirror. + +One can then enact one's entry into the room in such a way as to foresee +even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of making a +failure at the start will no longer have a bad effect upon one. + +We have heard of a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his +situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused +that he forgot to leave his streaming umbrella in the outer office. + +It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being +able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at +perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, +were by no means to the benefit of the floor. + +His despair at the sight of the rivulets that, running from his +umbrella, spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, +prevented him from thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. +His native awkwardness became all the worse at this and, utterly unable +to proffer any but the most confused excuses, he fled from the office of +his chief leaving the latter in a high state of irritation. + +He was replaced by some one else at the first opportunity, on the +pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left +in the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity. + +It should be added that this man was more than ordinarily intelligent +and that his successor was by no means his equal. + +It is, therefore, absolutely necessary for those who are lacking in +presence of mind to accustom themselves to a species of rehearsal before +undertaking any really important step. + +Does this imply that they must think of nothing but weighty affairs and +neglect occasions for social meetings? + +By no means. To those who are distrustful of themselves every occasion +is a pretext for avoiding action. + +They should, therefore, take pains to seek every possible opportunity of +cultivating poise. + +The entering of a theater; the walking into a drawing-room; the +acknowledging of a woman's bow; every one of these things should be for +them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily +self-examination leaves them satisfied with themselves, it will be a +cause of much encouragement to them. + +If, on the other hand, they have received a rebuff due to their lack of +poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for this, in order +to guard against such an occurrence in the future. + +A good preparatory exercise is to choose those of our friends whose +homes are unpretentious and who have few callers. + +Let us make up our minds to pay them a visit, which, in view of the +quietude of its associations, is not likely to awaken in us any grave +emotions. + +To carry this off well we should make all our preparations in advance. + +One should say to oneself: "I will enter like this," while rehearsing +one's entrance, so as not to be caught napping at the outset. + +One should go on to plan one's opening remarks, an easy enough matter +since one will be speaking to people one knows very well. + +One should then decide as to the length of one's call. + +One makes up one's mind, for instance, to get up and say good-by at the +end of a quarter of an hour. + +One should foresee the rejoinder of one's host, whether sincere or +merely polite, which will urge one to prolong one's visit, and for this +purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as work to do or a +business engagement, and one should prepare beforehand the phrase +explaining this. + +Finally, one should study to make one's good-bys gracefully. + +It might be as well, while we are at it, to prepare a subject of +conversation. + +Generally speaking, the events of the day form the topic of discussion +on such visits, whose good-will does not always prevent a certain amount +of boredom. + +It will be, then, an easy matter to prepare a few remarks on the +happenings of the day, on the plays that are running, or on the salient +occurrences of the week. + +It should be added that these remarks should express opinions of such a +nature as not to wound anybody's feelings. + +The man who seeks the conquest of poise will not expose himself to the +risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be compelled +either to remain silent or to make an exhibition of himself. + +To do this would be to strike a serious blow at his resolution to +persevere. + +The one idea of the aspirant to poise should be above all things never +to risk a failure. + +Such a check will rarely be a partial one. It will have a marked effect +upon his proposed plan of educating his will-power by again giving rise +to that confusion which is always lurking in the background of the +thoughts of the timid and which is, moreover, the source of all their +ills. + +Another wise precaution consists in foreseeing objections and in +preparing such answers as will enable one to refute them. + +Eloquence is one of the most useful achievements of poise; it is also +the gift that best aids one to acquire it. + +It is, therefore, indispensable to train oneself to speak in a refined +and correct manner. + +The man who is sure of his oratorical powers will never be at a loss. He +will find conviction growing while he seeks to create it. + +We spoke in the preceding chapter of the mechanical exercises necessary +to make speaking an easy matter. + +We must not forget, however, that before one can speak one has to think. + +Words will spring of themselves to our lips the moment we have a +definite conception of the idea they serve to present. As a proof of +this contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, +while ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing themselves, +become suddenly clear, persuasive, and even eloquent when it comes to +discussing a subject in which they are deeply interested. + +The study of the art of speaking will become, then, for people of +timidity, over and above the mechanical exercises that we have +prescribed in a former chapter, a profound analysis of the subject upon +which they are likely to be called upon to express themselves. + +One should strive to describe things in short sentences as elegantly +phrased as possible. + +When the idea we wish to convey seems to be exprest in a confused +fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a change of phraseology +that will make it more concise and clear. + +But above all--above all, we must pull ourselves up short and begin over +again if any tendency to stammer, to hesitate, or to become confused, +begins to manifest itself. + +Just as soon as one feels more at one's ease one can seek to put in +practise all these special studies. + +Nothing is quite so disconcerting as the idea of stammering or stopping +short. + +For this reason it is imperative that one should begin all over again +the moment such an accident occurs. + +This is what prevents timid people from accomplishing anything. From the +moment of the first failure they become panic-stricken and can no longer +go on speaking connectedly. + +Those who would acquire poise must act quite otherwise. + +Instead of avoiding occasions of speaking in public, they should seek +for them. But first of all they must make some trials upon audiences who +are in sympathy with them. + +They should experiment upon their own families and should never fail to +enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can prepare the matter for a +short address or a friendly argument. + +If they find themselves stammering or panic-stricken, they must strive +to recall the phrase that caused the trouble and endeavor to repeat it +very emphatically without stuttering. + +For the rest, it is always a dangerous thing to talk too fast. Words +that are pronounced more slowly are always much better articulated, and +in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in +talking that attacks those whose education in the direction of the +acquiring of poise is not yet complete. + +One of the most important exercises in the search for poise consists in +accustoming oneself to speak slowly and very distinctly. + +If one stammers in the least degree, especially if this fault is due to +nervousness, one should begin again at the word which caused the +trouble, pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one +should incorporate it in one or two sentences and should not cease to +utter it until one can enunciate it clearly and without any trouble. + +In order to combine theory with practise, one should seek opportunities +for entering public assemblies, striving to do so without awkwardness. + +One should choose the time when the audience is not yet fully arrived, +since, unless one is very sure of oneself, it is a risky matter to +appear upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most +part assembled. By this means one is much more likely to be able to +emerge victorious from the ordeal of the stares of the curious. + +The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet +indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion +but as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he +happens to know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one +the thing that he ought to say. + +If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer +congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence +of mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He +will avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has +fallen out and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of +deformities to a man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while +leaving him free to exercise all his faculties, will give him the +opportunity to remember a thousand details, the performance as well as +the omission of which will create much sympathetic feeling toward him +among the people whom he meets. + +The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the +recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to be +made upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of +the relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person +to whom he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not +infrequently an indication of poise. + + +THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS + +But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe +that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, +that, like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming +them into hurtful indecision. + +The mere thought, "_I will succeed_," is in itself a condition of +success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies +this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am +determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!" + +Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you +must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with +your regrets. + +Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from +this moment I propose to think of it merely to remind myself of the +reasons why I failed. + +"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the +wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of +the same mistakes." + +Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate. + +The words "I have no luck" should be erased altogether from the +vocabulary of the man who proposes to acquire poise. + +It is the excuse in which weaklings and cowards indulge. + +Timid people are always complaining of the injustice of fate, without +stopping to think that they have themselves been the direct causes of +their own failures. + +The violet has often been quoted--and very improperly--as an example of +shrinking modesty which it would be well to imitate. + +It does not in the least trouble the phrase-makers and the followers of +the ideas that they have spread broadcast through the world that the +violet which hides timidly behind its sheltering leaves nearly always +dies unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. +The type that wins the admiration of the world is that, which, +disengaging itself from its leafy shield, springs up with a bound above +its green foliage just as men of poise rise triumphantly above the +accidents and the petty details which bury the timid under their heavy +fronds. + +If one were minded to carry out the comparison properly, it is far more +exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted +to the shade in which they hide for their puny and abortive appearance. + +The timid have then no sort of excuse for complaining of their ill-luck. + +To begin with, it is to their own defects solely that their obscurity is +due. + +Furthermore, by ceaselessly complaining, they gradually become absorbed +by these ideas of ill-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in +their detestation of effort and suggest to them the thought of +attempting nothing upon the absurd pretext that nothing they do can +succeed. + +One must add here--and this is extremely important--that in acting in +this way they always manage to provoke the hostile forces that are +dormant in everything and that array themselves the more readily against +such people because of their lack of the resolution to combat them and +the energy to overcome them. + +This is the reason why people who are gifted with poise find themselves +better qualified than others to succeed. + +Their faith is so beautiful and so convincing that it compels conviction +in others and seems to be able to dominate events. + +It is by no means an illusion to believe in the worth of this +confidence. People to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help +to others, their faith aiding and sustaining that of those who have +resolved to make an effort. + +However strong the soul of man may be, it is nevertheless subject to +hours of discouragement, to moments of despair, in which some comfort +and sympathy are needed. + +The man of resolution will recover from his failures the more easily the +more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosphere +of friendliness which will not allow his defeats to be made public. + +As mists are dispelled at the approach of the sun, the agony of doubt +will disappear in the genial warmth of the encouragement and the +confidence that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those +around him, and a sure faith will be given to him, the certain and +faithful guide to the road that leads onward to success. + + + + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE SUPREME ACHIEVEMENT + + +One must be most careful not to credit oneself with the possession of +poise while one is unable to encounter reverses without loss of +serenity. + +Every setback of this sort must be judged without bias and the proper +measures must be taken to prevent its recurrence. + +Every exuberant gesture, as well as every constrained and abortive +movement, must be the object of redoubled attention. + +This is the stumbling-block that brings so many timid people to grief. +They imagine that they have achieved the conquest of poise, while they +are really only deceiving themselves by the idea that they are giving a +good illustration of it. They become the victims of a peculiar type of +delusion akin to that of the cowards who deliberately invite danger +while trembling in every limb. + +The very fear of being considered cowards causes them to plunge into it +blindly without taking the trouble to reflect. They always overshoot the +mark, exposing themselves quite uselessly and achieving a result that is +entirely valueless to themselves or any one else. + +The man who is really master of himself will avoid such foolish +undertakings, retaining his powers for those that are likely to bear +fruit, whatever the quality of the success may be. + +It is an act of folly to deny the possibility of success because one is +discouraged at the very first obstacle. + +The greatest triumphs are never achieved without a struggle. The man who +obtains them does so only by virtue of the experience gained by repeated +efforts, none of which bore for him the fruit he desired. + +The better is merely a step along the road to the best. + +Perfection is, therefore, the result of many half successes. + +If one could hope to arrive at one stride at one's desired goal one's +efforts would be of no value, and mediocrity would very soon become the +sole characteristic of those who were possest by this idea. The man who +has had the wit to acquire poise will guard himself carefully from +falling into the error of the timid, who, haunted by an unappeased +longing for perfection, lose their courage at the first attempt. + +Does this imply that idealism must be banished from the thoughts of the +man of resolution? + +Not at all, if by the word ideal one understands what it actually means. + +A false meaning has been given to this word which has warped it from its +original sense. + +The ideal is not, as many people seem to think, an impossible dream +indulged in only by poets, and that has no active basis of reality. + +Lazy people abuse this word, which to their minds allows them to indulge +without shame in idle dreams that foster their indolence. + +The timid drape it about themselves like a curtain, behind which they +take refuge and in whose shadow they conceal themselves, thinking by so +doing to keep the vanity which obsesses them from being wounded. + +Devotees of false ideals clothe them too often with the tinsel of fond +illusion, under which guise they make a pretense of worshiping them. + +The true ideal, that which every man can carry in his heart, is +something much more tangible and matter of fact. + +For one it is worldly success. + +For another renown and glory. + +For men of action it is the end for which they strive. + +The ideal which each man should cultivate and strive after need by no +means be a narrow aim. + +It is an aspiration of which the loftiness is in no way affected by the +lowliness of the means employed to realize it. + +This word has too often been misused and exaggerated in the effort to +distort it from its philosophical meaning. + +In every walk of life, no matter how humble, it is possible to follow an +ideal. + +It is not an aim, to speak exactly, but still less is it a dream. It is +an aspiration toward something better that subordinates all our acts to +this one dominant desire. + +Every realization tends to the development of the ideal, which is +increased in beauty by each partial attainment. + +We have just said that the ideal of some men is the acquisition of a +fortune. It might be supposed, therefore, that such people, once they +have become rich, will abandon their aspirations for something more. + +The man who has this idea is very much in the wrong. + +The state of being permanently wealthy is one that opens new horizons, +hitherto closed. The doing of good, charity, the desire to better the +condition of those who still have to struggle, these will constitute a +higher and a no less attractive ideal. + +This does not take into consideration the instinct, innate in every +heart--and that the genius of the race has made a part of every one of +us--the desire of progressing. + +It is this desire that forms the ideal of fathers of families, building +up the futures of their children, in whom they see not only their +immediate successors, but those who are to continue their race, which +they wish to be a strong and virile one, in obedience to the eternal +desire for perpetuating themselves that haunts the hearts of men. + +It is quite evident that each gain has no need of being complete to bear +fruit. The thing to do is to multiply it, to make something more of it, +and to take it home to ourselves, in order to achieve the ultimate +result that is termed success. + +The man of resolution appreciates this fact perfectly, rejoicing in +every victory and taking each defeat as a means for gaining experience +that he will be able to use to his advantage when the occasion arises. + +The man of timidity, on the other hand, haunted by this desire for +perfection, cut off by his very aloofness from all chance of learning +the lesson of events, will be so thoroughly discouraged at the first +check, that he will draw back from any similar experience, preferring to +take refuge in puerile grumbling against the contrariety of things in +general. + +This attitude of mind can not outlast a few minutes of sensible +reflection. + +We wish to convey by the use of this term the idea of a process of +thought quite free from those vague dreams which are the sure +indications of feebleness, reveries in which things appear to us in a +guise which is by no means that which they really possess. + +The main characteristic of this state of mind is to exaggerate one's +disappointments while ignoring one's moments of happiness. + +It approximates very closely to the old fable of the crumpled rose-leaf +breaking the rest of the sybarite on his couch of silk. + +He has no thought of taking satisfaction or pleasure in the luxury that +surrounds him. He does not congratulate himself on his wealth, nor upon +the comforts he possesses and that he values so highly. He thinks of +nothing but the little crumpled petal which causes him imaginary +distress, and all his faculties are absorbed by this petty detail. + +The man of resolve will pay no attention to such trifles as this. They +will touch him not at all unless they assume the rôle of the grain of +sand in the working-parts of a machine, which prevents it from running. +He is wise enough to be able to estimate a situation sensibly, taking +account of the drawbacks but at the same time realizing all the +advantages that accrue from it. + +At these advantages he will be pleased and will seek to get the maximum +of good out of each one of them. If he thinks of the disadvantages at +all, it will be merely in order to find a way to diminish them and to +rob them of their power to harm him. + +Such are the benefits of reflection and of concentration which, when +practised in a rational manner, will do more than anything else to help +one to the attainment of poise. + +Weak indulgence toward one's own failings will be rejected by the +strong. To know oneself thoroughly is a good way to improve oneself, and +the knowledge that one is not mistaken as to one's actual merits is of +considerable help in acquiring poise. + +It is for this reason that the habit of daily self-examination, that we +recommended in the preceding chapter, develops, in the man who submits +himself to it, faculties of judgment so keen that it is an easy matter +for him to become his own educator in the path to betterment. + +One great disadvantage of lack of proper concentration is that it gives +to the subject one is anxious to study an importance greater than it +really has. + +Passion is too often an accompaniment of this form of reflection, +emotions are aroused, and the nerves become active factors in distorting +the real meanings and value of the things we are considering. + +The remedy in this case is a very simple one. An effort of will, will +readily banish the subject which is causing us too profound emotion by +the simple process of turning the thoughts to some subject that will +cause us no such disturbances. + +Later on, when the emotions of the moment have passed, one can return to +the former train of thought, forcing oneself to examine it with +calmness. + +Some amount of practise will be needed to acquire this mastery of one's +thoughts, the parent of poise, which is nothing more than courage based +upon solid reason. + +It may happen that the desire to follow a line of thought that causes us +excessive emotion may lead to the inroad of a horde of secondary ideas, +which press one upon the other without any perceptible continuity, +carrying with them neither conviction nor illumination. + +Reveries of this sort are dangerous enemies of poise. They lead one +nowhere, and create in us habits which are not controlled by reason or +common sense. + +If such thoughts should assail us, the sole means of avoiding injury +from them is to repulse them instantly, the moment one becomes conscious +of them, and to banish the chaos of scattered fancies by devoting one's +whole mind to a single dominant thought that should be associated with +the determination to obtain the mastery over oneself. + +We have already suggested to the timid the advantage of foreseeing the +objections that are likely to be made to what they may say. The mere +fact that they have already formulated a mental answer will be a great +assistance to the making of a successful retort. + +To avoid still further risks of being confronted by a contradiction that +may put them at a loss they will do well to adopt the following plan. + +Let them put themselves in the place of the person to whom they plan to +speak and then ask themselves if, under these circumstances, they will +not find some objection to offer to the proposition concerned. + +If they discover by this means that, in his place, they would be likely +to find such and such difficulties, it must be with this fact in their +minds that they devote themselves to the better preparation of their +arguments or, if necessary, to modifying the force if not the content of +the reasoning upon which they rely to carry conviction. + +These objections, as we have already advised, should be uttered aloud, +so that we may the better perceive their logic, and also to allow of our +repeating them a second time, the ability to accomplish which will be a +great encouragement to us. + +There is no reason, in fact, for believing that we can not repeat on the +morrow, just as perfectly as we have exprest it to-day, a statement that +we have made with clearness both of reasoning and of diction. + +Contact with men and with affairs should be sought after by the aspirant +for poise. + +He will be the gainer by watching the destruction of his exaggerated +ideas and his false conceptions, which have all arisen from solitary +thought. + +An essential point is to become accustomed to the necessity for action. + +Far from avoiding this, one should seize every occasion to utilize it to +one's advantage. + +The determined student should even create opportunity for so doing, +which, in forcing him to break down his reserve, will make it necessary +for him to come to definite decisions and to carry them out. + +Every chance to exhibit real and honest activity should be seized by +him. + +Between two decisions, equally favorable to him, of which one will leave +him to his peaceful retirement and the other will involve active +measures, he should not hesitate for a moment. + +He will make choice of that which will compel him to exhibit physical +activity. + +It is, however, important that manifestation of purposeless energy +should be rigidly represt. They are always harmful to one's equilibrium +and to the qualities needed for the attainment of poise. + +One should never forget the well-known proverb: + +"Speech is silver, but silence is golden." + +Silence, in a vast number of instances, is the indisputable proof of the +empire that one has over oneself. + +To be able to keep quiet and to close one's lips until the moment when +reflection has enabled us to discipline our too-violent emotions, is a +quality that belongs only to those who have obtained the mastery over +themselves. + +The weak become excited, indulge in protests, and expend themselves in +angry denunciations that use up the energy they should retain for active +measures. + +The man of resolution is most careful not to allow it to be known at +what point he has been wounded. He keeps silence and reflects. + +Resolves form within his mind and, when he at last is ready to speak, it +is to utter some firm decision or to put forward arguments that are +unanswerable. + +To tell the truth, those who instantly and noisily voice their +antagonisms, who, under the sting of a hurt to their vanity indulge in +threats of violence, are actually dangerous. + +Their accusations, dictated by anger and heightened by the sense of +their own inferiority, are always characterized by impotence. + +They make people smile, provoke perhaps a little pity, but never cause +any fear. + +They are like the toy guns of children, which have the air of being most +deadly weapons, but which are constructed of such fragile materials that +a vigorous blow will cause them to fall to pieces. + +The self-control of the man of resolution in the face of insult and +provocation is far more impressive than these idle threats. + +His silence is ominous. It is a sort of mechanical calm which produces +decisions from which all passion is excluded. + +His answers, well thought out and adapted exactly to the circumstances +of the case, impress one by their coldness and by their tone of +finality. His words are always followed by deeds, and are the more +weighty for the fact that one knows that they are merely preliminary to +the actions that they foretell. + +This is one of the marked advantages of those who possess poise, one of +various methods of conquering and dominating the minds of others. + +There are other strong points belonging to those who cultivate poise, +which, judiciously employed, unite in giving them an incontestable +superiority over the majority of the people they meet. + +The man of poise will not be overgay or too boisterous. Still less will +he be taciturn. Moody people are nearly always those who are convinced +of their own lack of ability and quite certain that the rest of the +world is in a conspiracy to make them miserable. + +They lack all pride and make no bones about admitting themselves to be +defeated. + +These, we must admit, are rather difficult conditions in which to effect +anything worth while. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," M.B. Dangennes tells us that one day +a party of men agreed to undertake a journey, the object of which was to +attain a most wonderful country. + +"There were a great many of them at the start, but only a few days had +passed when their ranks became sensibly depleted. + +"Certain members of the party, the timid ones, who were encumbered with +a load of useless scruples, soon succumbed to the weight of their +burdens. + +"Others, the fearful ones, became panic-stricken at the difficulties +they encountered in battling with the earlier stages of the journey. + +"The modest, after several days' marching, fell to the rear, from fear +of attracting too much attention, and were very soon lost sight of. + +"The careless, wearied by their efforts, took to resting in the ditches +along the road, and ate all their store of provisions for the journey +without worrying at all about the time when they might be hungry. + +"The braggarts and the boasters, after exhibiting a temporary +enthusiasm, gave out at the first dangers encountered on the march. + +"The curious, instead of striving to maintain the courage of those who +walked at the head of the column, kept leading them into difficulties, +in which many of the foremost were lost. + +"The rash were greatly reduced in numbers by their own foolhardiness. + +"The final result was that only a handful of men, after many weary days +and nights, reached the Eden that they had set out to attain. + +"These men were disciples of energy, those to whom this virtue had given +courage, ambition, the self-control and the self-mastery needed to +vanquish and overcome the perils of the way; those who, by their cool +and courageous bearing, had been able to impress upon their companions, +now become their disciples, the indomitable hardihood with which they +were themselves filled." + +We see in this fable how all the qualities of poise worked together for +the accomplishment of the destined end. + +First courage, which must not be confounded either with rashness or with +effrontery. + +Courage, the perfect manifestation of confidence in oneself. + +This quality is at the bottom of all great enterprises, of which all the +risks, however, have been carefully considered in advance. + +The man of courage does not deceive himself as to the dangers of the +deeds he has determined to perform. He accepts them bravely. He has +foreseen them all, and he knows how to act in order to turn them to his +own advantage. + +The coolness characteristic of all men of poise gives them the power of +estimating wisely how things are likely to turn out. + +They do not fail to appreciate the importance of certain circumstances, +to realize their bearing, and to admit the dangers to which they may +give rise. Thus they are ready for the fray and are armed at all points +for a well-considered defense. + +Shame on the superficial people who close their eyes in order not to see +the obstacles that their own lack of foresight has prevented them from +anticipating. + +Let us press back the timid; declare war on the boasters; show our +contempt for the inveterately modest (who are only so to flatter their +own vanity); express our hatred of the envious, who are always +incapable; distrust the slothful; and arm ourselves with a justifiable +pride, which, by imparting to us a sense of our merits, will enable us +to acquire poise, true index of those who are legitimately sure of +themselves and are conscious of their sterling worth. + +But, above all, let us raise in our inmost hearts a temple to reason, +the author of that quiet confidence that makes success a certainty. + +This is the work of the man who has achieved the conquest of poise. It +is the one particular evidence of this priceless quality. + +Poise, by inspiring its possessor with a belief in his merits, that is +productive of good resolutions, enables him to employ in relation to +himself the fine art of absolutely sincere reasoning. + +There are, as is well-known, many ways of looking at things. + +Every thing has several sides and, in accordance with the angle at which +we examine it, seems to us more or less favorable. + +The superficial man only sees things, and only _wants_ to see them, from +the viewpoint of his own desires. + +To the morose man all their contours appear distorted. + +The optimist, on the contrary, carefully changes their outlines. + +Only to the man who makes a practise of rational thinking comes a true +vision of both the good and the bad that exist in everything. + +This science of reasoning is the base of all deductive processes, that, +in strengthening the judgment, aid in the formation of poise. + +Without reason the scaffolding of the most splendid resolves falls to +the ground. + +Without reason we wander aimlessly in bypaths instead of following the +broad highway. + +Without reason, in short, we become guilty of injustice, not only toward +others, but still more toward ourselves, since we can not form a correct +estimate of our own characters. + +It is reason which enables us to choose the happy mean that leaves the +country of fear to reach the goal of reserve, and follows it to the +extreme limit of poise without ever encroaching upon the territory of +effrontery. + +It is poise alone that enables us to communicate to others the qualities +which we possess. + +This has ever been the gift of men of genius, of those who could enforce +their doctrines and impose them upon others by the sheer strength of +their attitude and the way in which they analyzed and reasoned out all +their principles. + +What conviction can he hope to carry to his hearers who is not himself +persuaded of the truth of the theories he is presenting? + +This is the condition of those timid people who give their advice in the +same tone they would use to ask it. + +For this reason they never become expert. They rarely ever taste of +success and usually sink into a state of discontent and envy. + +This last fault is nearly always indulged in by the timid, whom it +soothes, not simply because of its maliciousness, but because envy seems +to them to condone their own inertia by giving them an excuse for their +lack of action. + +For people of mediocre mentality to deny the intelligence of others is +to bring them down into their own plane and saves them the effort of +climbing to that of their superiors. + +And since lack of sincerity toward themselves is always one of the +faults of those who are wanting in poise, they can not help feeling a +sentiment of jealousy toward those who have succeeded where they +themselves have failed. + +Instead of doing justice without bitterness to the superiority of others +by a determination to imitate it, they take the simpler course of +envying the good fortune of their neighbors and attribute it all to +luck. + +Whenever you hear any one expatiating upon what he calls the luck of +some one else, you may be sure that he is a person entirely deficient in +those qualities which could attract what he calls luck, but what is +really, in the majority of cases, merely the result of hard work based +upon a reasoned poise. + +Here we may add that this quality is often the key to good fortune, +since it permits the head of a family, who is possest of it to establish +about him sympathetic currents, based upon the confidence that he +inspires. + +It is a matter of common knowledge how courage communicates itself from +one to another. + +The man who dreads the idea of doing something will attempt it without +hesitation if he finds himself supported by some one who seems to have +no doubt as to the happy outcome of the enterprise. + +It is, therefore, most essential, in order to exercise a beneficent +influence upon his household, that the head of a family should be +possest of poise, which will awaken in them a sense of protection, while +at the same time making them aware of a kindly authority. + +It must not be inferred from this that every head of a family should +pose as being infallible. + +This would be a most foolish proceeding on his part. It would often +happen that circumstances, by proving his predictions untrue, would +destroy the faith in him that those in his household must possess. + +It is only the presumptuous and the egotistical who pride themselves on +their infallibility, as we have pointed out at length in preceding +chapters. + +The man of real poise will be more than careful not to pose as a +prophet, still less as an autocrat. + +He will study to establish about him an atmosphere of confidence suited +to the development and the strengthening of the bonds which unite him to +those of his household. + +Nothing is more touching than the blind faith shown by some children +toward their parents. + +People of timidity will never arouse a feeling of this sort. + +However real the affection of children may be for such parents, there +will always be mingled with it a modicum of indulgent pity, caused by +their distrust, if the parents happen to be people of timidity, of what +seem to them mediocre abilities. + +They will feel themselves more willingly attracted toward a stranger, if +his attitude toward life appears to be one that may support and assist +their weakness. Their affection for their parents will be in no way +diminished, but they will cease to regard them as being vitally +necessary to the harmony of their existence. + +This lack of trust that timidity occasions can result in very serious +misfortunes. + +In driving a child who seeks for some firm guidance to appeal to others +than his natural protectors, there is always the risk of his following a +method of education that is basically opposed to all the traditions of +the family. + +How many children are thrown in this way upon the tender mercies of a +teacher whose views of life, albeit perfectly honorable, are quite +opposed to the plans of the parents. + +Such people, instead of complaining of the conduct of the teacher and +crying out about the leading astray of their child, would do better to +question themselves and to ask their own hearts whether their children +have ever found in them the protection that is being given them by +others. + +We do not want to overwork the old fable of the oak and the ivy. +Nevertheless, it is to the point to remark that this plant attaches +itself to none but the most solid trunks, disdaining the Weaker saplings +that will bend beneath its weight and will, after a little while, force +it to return to the ground instead of helping it to climb into the air. + +The man endowed with poise plays in his own family the rôle of the oak +which lends the strength of its trunk as an aid to weakness, covering +with the shadow of its branches the feeble efforts that too hot a sun or +too violent a storm might easily bring to nothing. + +And if the storm should break it is the crest that it presents with +pride to the fury of the elements that will keep it from being itself +destroyed. + +It must also be remembered that the instinct of the Ego flourishes in +every one of us, often quite unconsciously, but always with sufficient +force to make it certain that this ego will be developed in the +direction in which it sees chances of support. + +We are not speaking here of mere egoism, which is a species of +acknowledgment of weakness that very young children are incapable of +making to themselves, but which those who are older will try to avoid. + +But there is no one, even among the most strong, who has not felt at +some time in his life the joy of finding counsel, moral support, or +protection, if only in the form of a hearty and energetic agreement with +his ideas. + +One can not wonder, therefore, that people of poise are able to draw to +themselves sympathies and devotion of which the timid are entirely +ignorant. + +We should add that poise, in giving one ease, imparts to the slightest +gesture a fittingness that constitutes a special grace, that one can not +always define, but where appearance can never be mistaken. + +It might be termed distinction. + +People of poise, whether they be homely or handsome, insignificant or +imposing, sickly or radiating health, all possess this enviable gift in +a marked degree. + +Distinction is the parent of victory. + +It conquers, for those who possess it, the greater part of their +adversaries, who lay down their arms without dreaming of offering +battle. + +Distinction impresses every one, both those who are deprived of it and +those who are possest of it. + +It is the most direct means of influencing others in the direction one +wishes them to take. + +It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no +harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power. + +Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when +it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate +in this book. + +False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those +mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler. + +At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like +his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away +little by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an +empty dream. This is invariably what happens when what appears to be +distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff. + +The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon +arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the +dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus +made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to +forgive him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with +the hurt to their wounded pride. + +Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes +from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve +it untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by +disappointments they may cause in others. + +If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness +or lack of character. + +Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their +energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very +defeats of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool +determination. + +The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, +while the recollection of past reverses makes them more wary and more +keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events. + +Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will +renew the confidence of all their friends. + +They are a power, and under this title they receive the homage of all. +Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay +their own weaknesses upon their strength. + +Their assistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of +being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have +near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat. + +Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when +its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of +her hand, it steps out with confidence. + +If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and +overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which +he really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down. + +Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of +spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities +similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fortitude that +approximates to theirs. + +They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls +with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, +misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will +combat it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to +beat a retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who +will yield to it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession +of him without a murmur. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13877 *** diff --git a/13877-h/13877-h.htm b/13877-h/13877-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a84744 --- /dev/null +++ b/13877-h/13877-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4057 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Poise: How to Attain It, by D. Starke</title> + <style type="text/css"> + + body + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + + p + {text-align: justify;} + + blockquote + {text-align: justify;} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 + {text-align: center;} + + hr + {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + + html>body hr + {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + + hr.full + {width: 100%;} + html>body hr.full + {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + + .poetry + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 0%; + text-align: left;} + + .footnote + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; + font-size: 0.9em;} + + .index + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; + text-align: center;} + + .figure + {margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%; + text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .figure img + {border: none;} + + .lfigure + {float:left; width: 25%; margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%; + text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .lfigure img + {border: none;} + + .rfigure + {float:right; width: 25%; margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%; + text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .rfigure img + {border: none;} + + .date + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; + text-align: right;} + + span.rightnote + {position: absolute; left: 92%; right: 1%; + font-size: 0.7em; border-bottom: solid 1px;} + + span.leftnote + {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 92%; + font-size: 0.7em; border-bottom: solid 1px;} + + span.linenum + {float:right; + text-align: right; font-size: 0.7em;} + + span.pagenum + {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13877 ***</div> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Poise: How to Attain It, by D. Starke, +Translated by Francis Medhurst</h1> +<br /> +<br /> +<hr class="full" /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1"></a>[pg +1]</span><h3>MENTAL EFFICIENCY SERIES</h3> + +<h1>POISE</h1> + +<h2>HOW TO ATTAIN IT</h2> + +<h3>By D. STARKE</h3> + +<h4>TRANSLATED BY FRANCIS MEDHURST, D.LITT.</h4> + +<h4>AUTHORIZED EDITION</h4> + +<h4>"Poise is a power derived from the Mastery of Self"</h4> + +<h5>1916</h5> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2><a name='PREFACE'></a>PREFACE</h2> + + +<p>All efforts directed toward the correcting of temperamental or mental +blemishes or defects and nervous conditions are of benefit to humanity. In +producing this book the Author's purpose was to help mankind to overcome +these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental development, and +hinder personal advancement and general progress. The aim of the Publishers +in issuing this translation is to put into the hands of those who wish to +overcome their failings, become masters of themselves, and command the +attention and respect of others, a work that has been thoroughly tested +abroad and one that will be found of exceptional service in attaining the +end in view--the securing of a perfect balance.</p> + +<p>This book is written in two parts. The first points to the need of Poise +in daily life, indicates the obstacles to be overcome, and discusses the +effects of Poise on personal efficiency. The second instructs the reader +how to secure that evenness of temperament which is the chief +characteristic of Poise. It includes, in addition, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_4" id="Page_4"></a>[pg 4]</span>a series of practical physical +exercises to be used in acquiring Poise.</p> + +<p>If such a work as this is to do good, if the reader really wishes to +benefit by the advice that it gives him, it must be read thoughtfully and +diligently, not fitfully and forgetfully, and the reader most steadfastly +keep before him the maxim of the Author--"Poise is a power derived from the +Mastery of Self."</p> + +<p>THE PUBLISHERS.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5"></a>[pg 5]</span><hr /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2><a name='CONTENTS'></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<a href='#PREFACE'>Preface</a><br /> +<br /> +<a href='#PART_I'>PART ONE</a><br /> +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT<br /> +<br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_I'>I. The Need of Poise in Life</a><br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_II'>II. The Enemies of Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_III'>III. War on Timidity</a><br +/> +<br /> +<a href='#PART_II'>PART TWO</a><br /> +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE<br /> +<br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_I'>I. Modesty and Effrontery Contrasted</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_II'>II. Physical Exercises to Acquire Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_III'>III. Four Series of Physical Exercises</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_IV'>IV. Practical Exercises for Obtaining Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_V'>V. The Supreme Achievement</a><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<h1><a name='PART_I'></a>PART I</h1> + +<h2>POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT</h2> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></a>[pg 8]</span> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9"></a>[pg 9]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_I'></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h3>THE NEED OF POISE IN LIFE</h3> + + +<p>Lack of poise has always been an obstacle to those who are imbued with +the desire to succeed.</p> + +<p>In every age the awkwardness born of timidity has served to keep back +those who suffered from it, but this defect has never been so great a +drawback as in the life of to-day.</p> + +<p>The celebrated phrase of the ancient Roman writer who said, "Fortune +smiles on the brave," could very well serve as our motto nowadays, with +this slight alteration: "Fortune smiles on those who are possest of +poise."</p> + +<p>At this point let us attempt an exact definition of poise.</p> + +<p>It is a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, +in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really +capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them.</p> + +<p>It is not a quality wholly simple. On the contrary, it is a composite of +many others all of which take part in the molding of that totality which +bears the name of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10"></a>[pg +10]</span>It may be well to pass in review the principal qualities of which +it is composed, that one may characterize as follows:</p> + +<p>Will.</p> + +<p>Reason.</p> + +<p>Knowledge of one's own value.</p> + +<p>Correctness of judgment.</p> + +<p>Sincerity toward oneself.</p> + +<p>The power of resisting the appeals of self-love.</p> + +<p>Contempt of adverse criticism.</p> + +<p>Pride that is free from vanity.</p> + +<p>A definite and clearly conceived ambition.</p> + +<p>Will, as is well known, is the pivot of all our resolutions, whether the +question for the moment be how to form them or how to keep them when +formed.</p> + +<p>A man without will-power is a straw, blown about by every wind and +carried, whether he will or no, into situations in which he has no valid +reason for finding himself.</p> + +<p>Without the will-power which enables us to take a firm hold of ourselves +and to get a grip upon our impressions, they will remain vague and nebulous +without presenting to us characters of sufficient definiteness to enable us +to direct them readily into the proper channels.</p> + +<p>It is will-power which gives us the force to <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_11" id="Page_11"></a>[pg 11]</span>maintain a resolution which +will lead us to the hoped-for goal of success.</p> + +<p>It is will-power also which enables us to correct the faults which stand +in the way of the acquiring of poise.</p> + +<p>We are not now speaking of those idle fancies which are no more than +manifestations of nervousness. We have in mind rather that controlled and +enduring purpose which arms the heart against the assaults of the emotions +by giving it the strength to overcome them.</p> + +<p>There are many cases even in which will-power has led to their entire +suppression.</p> + +<p>This happens more particularly in the case of those artificial emotions +that the man of resolution ignores completely, but which cause agony to the +timid who do not know how to escape them, and exaggerate them to +excess.</p> + +<p>This abnormal development of their personalities is the peculiarity of +the timid, which their fitful efforts of will only heighten, alienating +from them the sympathy which might be of assistance to them.</p> + +<p>They take refuge in a species of mischievous and fruitless activity, +leaving the field open to the development of all sorts of imaginary ills +that argument does not serve to combat.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12"></a>[pg +12]</span>Their ego, whose importance is in no way counterbalanced by their +appreciation of the friends they keep at a distance, fills their entire +existence to such an extent that they have no doubt whatever that, when +they are in public, every eye is, of necessity, fixt upon them.</p> + +<p>Their negative will leaves them at the mercy of every sort of emotion, +which, in arousing in them the necessity of a reaction they feel themselves +powerless to realize, reduces them to a state of inferiority that, when it +becomes known, is the source of grave embarrassment to them.</p> + +<p>The power of will which sustains those who wish to acquire the habit of +poise is, then, the capacity to accomplish acts solely because one has the +ardent desire to achieve them.</p> + +<p>We are now speaking, understand, neither of extreme heroism or of +impossibilities.</p> + +<p>Another point presents itself here. Willpower, in order to preserve its +energy, must be sustained and fixt. At this price alone can we achieve +poise. We must, therefore, thoroughly saturate ourselves with this +principle: Reasoning-power is an essential element in the upbuilding of +poise.</p> + +<p>It is reasoning-power which teaches us to distinguish between those +things that we must be <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" +id="Page_13"></a>[pg 13]</span>careful to avoid and those which are part +and parcel of the domain of exaggeration and fantasy.</p> + +<p>It is also by means of reasoning that we arrive at the proper +appreciation of the just mean that we must observe. It is by its aid that +we are enabled to disentangle those impulses that will prove profitable +from a chaos of useless risks.</p> + +<p>It is always by virtue of deductions depending upon reason that we are +able to adopt a resolution or to maintain an attitude that we believe to be +correct, while preserving our self-possession under circumstances in which +persons of a timorous disposition would certainly lose their heads.</p> + +<p>Those who know how to reason never expose themselves to the possibility +of being unhorsed by fate for lack of good reasons for strengthening +themselves in their chosen course.</p> + +<p>They adhere, in the very heat of discussion and in spite of the +onslaughts of destiny, to the line of conduct that sage reflection has +taught them to adopt and are more than careful never to abandon it except +for the most valid reasons.</p> + +<p>They never stray into the byways in which the timid and the shrinking +constantly wander without sufficient thought of the goal toward which they +are journeying.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14"></a>[pg +14]</span>They know where they are going, and if, now and again, they ask +for information about the road that remains to be traveled, it is with no +intention of changing their course, but simply so as not to miss the short +cuts and to lose nothing of the pleasures of the scenes through which they +may pass.</p> + +<p>Reasoning-power is the trade-mark of superior minds. Mediocre natures +take no interest in it and, as we have seen, the timid are incapable of it, +except in so far as it follows the beaten path.</p> + +<p>True poise never is guided by anything but reason. Certain risks can +never be undertaken save after ripe deliberation.</p> + +<p>Confusion is never the fate of those who are resolved on a definite line +of conduct.</p> + +<p>Such people are careful to plumb the questions with which they have to +grapple and to weigh the inconveniences and the advantages of the acts they +have the desire to accomplish.</p> + +<p>When their decision is once made, however, nothing will prevent the +completion of the work they have begun. Such people are ripe for +success.</p> + +<p>The knowledge of one's real worth is a quality doubly precious when +contrasted with the fact that the majority of people are more than +indulgent <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15"></a>[pg +15]</span>to their own failings. Of many of them it may be said, in the +words of the Arab proverb, couched in the language of imagery: "This man +has no money, but in his pocket everything turns to gold."</p> + +<p>This saying, divested of the language of hyperbole, means simply that +the man in question is so obsessed with the greatness of his own personal +value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that concerns +him.</p> + +<p>This condition is a much more common one than one might at first +believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, seems +to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects us, a +matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we find +ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the victims +of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward other people +under similar circumstances.</p> + +<p>The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that +adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism.</p> + +<p>It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to +undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's +abilities.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16"></a>[pg +16]</span>To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault +that is far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run +than the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's +own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all +unsuccess.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another +quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of +mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake +our tasks without boasting and without hesitation.</p> + +<p>Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the +merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, and +of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry out to +its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring +accidents, precisely what we have foreseen.</p> + +<p>This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating +ourselves or for lacking poise?</p> + +<p>Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter +of insight.</p> + +<p>They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and +not upon facts.</p> + +<p>If the perception of a man of resolution causes <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_17" id="Page_17"></a>[pg 17]</span>him to understand at once the +emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, always +ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into an +appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a project +that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of the +arguments advanced.</p> + +<p>Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never +even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it +may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all his +ideas.</p> + +<p>The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey +for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick +disillusionment.</p> + +<p>A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not +wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not.</p> + +<p>He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he +imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic +gesture.</p> + +<p>He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if +the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and +antagonistic.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18"></a>[pg +18]</span>How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed +with poise!</p> + +<p>His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he +jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive protestations +as well as when confronting indications of aimless antagonism.</p> + +<p>How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and +to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it?</p> + +<p>Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound +judgment.</p> + +<p>Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor +to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, +and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about the +work of correcting them.</p> + +<p>It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in +which one is taking one's risks.</p> + +<p>The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be +likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts.</p> + +<p>The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, +first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></a>[pg 19]</span>avoiding +the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he passes.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and +he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths which +he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes.</p> + +<p>These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we +sometimes find in the timid.</p> + +<p>Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they +are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their +virtues and so fall an easy prey to the designer and the sharper.</p> + +<p>Their very carelessness in estimating other people becomes the +foundation of an involuntary partiality the moment they are called upon to +judge their own actions.</p> + +<p>It is not deliberate self-indulgence that drives them to act in this +way, but their inexperience, which gives rise in them to the desire for +perfection, and this necessarily provokes, simultaneously with the despair +caused by their failure to attain it, a fear of having this failure +remarked or commented upon.</p> + +<p>The man who possesses poise is too familiar <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></a>[pg 20]</span>with the realities of life +not to be aware that the search for such an ideal is a Utopian dream.</p> + +<p>But he is also aware that, if actual perfection does not exist, it is +the bounden duty of man to struggle always in pursuit of good and to show +appreciation of it in whatsoever form it may manifest itself.</p> + +<p>Sincerity toward himself thus becomes for him an easy matter indeed, and +for the very reason that his poise leaves him absolutely free to form a +correct estimate of others.</p> + +<p>Serious self-examination throws a clear light for him upon those merits +of which he has a right to be proud, while revealing to him at the same +time the faults to which he is most likely to yield.</p> + +<p>The habit of estimating himself and his own qualities without fear or +favor gives him great facility for gaging the motives of other people.</p> + +<p>He thus avoids the pitfalls that a biased viewpoint spreads before the +feet of the foolish, and at the same time represses that feeling of vanity +which might lead him to believe that he is altogether too clever to fall +into them.</p> + +<p>He watches himself constantly to avoid getting into the bypaths which he +sees with sorrow that others are following, and does not fail to <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></a>[pg 21]</span>estimate +accurately the value of the victories he achieves over himself as well as +over the duplicity of most of the people who surround him.</p> + +<p>And this superiority is what makes certain his poise. More difficult +perhaps than anything else to acquire is the power to resist the appeals of +one's own self-love.</p> + +<p>We will explain this later at greater length. Lack of poise is often due +to nothing so much as an excess of vanity which throws one back upon +oneself from the fear of not being able to shine in the front rank.</p> + +<p>Such a person does not say to himself: "I will conquer this place by +sheer merit." He contents himself with envying those who occupy it, quite +neglecting to put forth the efforts which would place him there beside +them.</p> + +<p>There is nothing worse than yielding to an exaggerated tenderness toward +ourselves, which, by magnifying our merits in our own eyes, frequently +leads us to make attempts which result in failure and expose us to +ridicule.</p> + +<p>This is a most frequent cause of making an inveterate coward of one who +is subject to occasional attacks of timidity.</p> + +<p>To know one's limitations exactly and never to allow oneself to exceed +them--this is the part <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" +id="Page_22"></a>[pg 22]</span>of wisdom, the act of a man who, as the +saying goes, knows what he is about.</p> + +<p>There is in every effort a necessary limit that it is not wise to +exceed.</p> + +<p>"Never force your talents," says a very pithy proverb. Never undertake +to do a thing that is beyond your powers.</p> + +<p>Never allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion on a subject which is +beyond your intellectual depth. To do so is to take the risk of making +mistakes that will render you ridiculous.</p> + +<p>But if you are quite convinced that you can come out victorious, never +hesitate to enter a trial of wits that may serve as an occasion for +demonstrating the fact that you are sure of your subject.</p> + +<p>The man who cultivates poise will never let pass such opportunities as +this for exhibiting himself in a favorable light.</p> + +<p>Conscious of the soundness of his own judgment, and filled with a real +sincerity toward himself, he will not allow himself to be carried away by a +possible chance of success. Rather will he gather himself together, collect +his forces, and wait until he can achieve a real effect upon the minds of +those whom he wishes to impress.</p> + +<p>Similarly the result of unsuccess in such a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></a>[pg 23]</span>venture is obvious. It has +the effect of developing a distrust of oneself and of destroying the superb +assurance of those people of whom it is often said: "Oh, he! He is sailing +with the wind at his back!"</p> + +<p>People generally fail to add in these cases that such persons have left +nothing undone to accomplish this result and are more than careful not to +weigh anchor when the wind is not favorable.</p> + +<p>It is true enough that there can be no actual shelter from a storm, but +the mariner who is prepared is able to ride it out without appreciable +damage, while those who are not prepared generally founder on account of +their poor seamanship.</p> + +<p>Disregard of calumny is always the index of a noble spirit.</p> + +<p>The man who wastes time over such indignities and who allows himself to +be affected by them is not of the stature that insures victory in the +struggle.</p> + +<p>Minds of large caliber disdain these manifestations of futile +jealousy.</p> + +<p>People of obscurity are never vilified. Only those whose merits have +placed them in the limelight are the targets for the attacks of envy and +for the slanders of falsehood.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></a>[pg 24]</span>A +precept that has often been enunciated, and can not be too often repeated, +which should, indeed, be inscribed in letters of gold over the doors of +every institution where men meet together, runs as follows: "Envy and +malice are nothing more than homage rendered to superiority."</p> + +<p>Only those who occupy an enviable position can become objects of +calumny.</p> + +<p>Such calumny is always the work of the unworthy, who think to advertise +their own merits by denying those of better men.</p> + +<p>Men of resolution under such circumstances simply shrug their shoulders +and pass by.</p> + +<p>The rest, those who are enslaved by timidity, become confused.</p> + +<p>Their ego, which they cultivated in a fashion at once obscure and +absolute, becomes so profoundly affected that they lack all courage to +openly defend it.</p> + +<p>Moreover, that instinctive need of sympathy, which is so marked a +characteristic of the timid, is deeply wounded, while their chronic fear of +disapprobation is strengthened by the criticisms spread abroad.</p> + +<p>The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid +shuns society, yet nevertheless <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" +id="Page_25"></a>[pg 25]</span>the judgments of this same society are for +him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a disease of +many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality.</p> + +<p>It is always a mental weakness. It is sometimes vanity, but never pride, +that reasonable pride that a philosophy now abandoned once numbered as one +of the principal vices, and which, if rightly estimated, can be considered +as the motive power of every noble action.</p> + +<p>Pride is a force. It is therefore a virtue which must of necessity be +one of the components of poise, so long as it contains within it no seeds +of vanity. Under such circumstances it is a primal condition of success in +the achievement of poise. Pride must, however, be free from vanity, +otherwise it ceases to be a force and becomes a cause of deterioration.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, those who are conceited are always the dupes of +their own desire to bulk largely in the minds of others, and at the mere +thought that they will not shine as they have hoped to do the majority of +them are put entirely out of countenance and are quite at a loss for means +of expression.</p> + +<p>The inevitable result of this tendency is to drive them into association +with mediocrity. In <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" +id="Page_26"></a>[pg 26]</span>such a society alone will the vain find +themselves at their ease. But the very moment that they find themselves in +the presence of those who are their superiors, the fear of not being able +to occupy the front rank throws them into such a state of mental disarray +that they entirely lose their assurance and that appearance of poise by +whose aid they are often able to deceive others.</p> + +<p>Finally, one of the most solid elements of poise is, without doubt, a +well-defined ambition, that is to say, one that is divested of the +drawbacks of frivolity and directly winged toward the goal of one's +hopes.</p> + +<p>The man who possesses ambition of this kind is certainly destined to +acquire, if he has not already acquired it, that poise which is absolutely +necessary to him in order to make his way in the world.</p> + +<p>He will neither be pretentious nor timorous, exaggerated nor fearful. He +will go forward without hesitation toward the goal which he knows to be +before him, and will make, without any apologies, those detours which seem +to him necessary to the success of his undertaking, without paying any +attention to the fruitless distractions that make victims of the rash.</p> + +<p>He will not have to put up with the affront of <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></a>[pg 27]</span>being refused, for he will +ask aid only of those persons who, for various reasons, he is practically +sure will be of assistance to him. The knowledge of his own deserts, while +keeping him in the position he has attained, will prevent him from being +satisfied in commonplace surroundings, and his will-power will always +maintain him at the level he has reached, permitting him no latitude save +that of exceeding it.</p> + +<p>Such is true poise, not that whose spirit one violates by merely +associating it with the incapable, the pretentious, or the extravagant, but +that which is at once the motive power and the inspiration of all the +actions of those who, in their determination to force their way through the +great modern struggle for existence, perseveringly follow a line of conduct +that they have worked out for themselves in advance.</p> + +<p>Ignoring such enterprises as they know to be unworthy of their powers, +those who are possest of real poise (and not of that foolish temerity +colloquially known as <i>bluff</i>) will devote themselves solely to such +tasks as a well-ordered judgment and an accurate knowledge of their own +potentialities indicate to them to be fitting.</p> + +<p>Does this mean that they will succeed in every case?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></a>[pg +28]</span>Unfortunately, no! But such of them as have met with temporary +failure, if they are able to assure themselves that their lack of success +has been due neither to a failure of will-power nor a fear of ridicule, +will return to the charge, once more prepared to make headway against +circumstances which they have the poise to foresee, and which they will at +least render incapable of harming them, even if they lack the necessary +force to dominate them completely to their own advantage.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></a>[pg 29]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_II'></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<h3>THE ENEMIES OF POISE</h3> + + +<p>The enemies of poise are many and of different origins, both of feeling +and of impulse.</p> + +<p>They all tend, however, toward the same result, the cessation of effort +under pretexts more or less specious.</p> + +<p>It is of no use deceiving ourselves. Lack of poise has its roots deep in +all the faults which are caused by apathy and purposeless variety.</p> + +<p>We have learned in the previous chapter how greatly the vice of lack of +confidence in oneself can retard the development of the quality we are +considering.</p> + +<p>Balanced between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure, the +timid man leads a miserable existence, tortured by unavailing regrets and +by no less useless aspirations, which torment him like the worm that dieth +not.</p> + +<p>Little by little the habit of physical inaction engenders a moral +inertia and the victim learns to fly from every opportunity of escaping +from his bondage.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></a>[pg +30]</span>Very soon an habitual state of idleness takes possession of him +and causes him to avoid everything that tends to make action necessary.</p> + +<p>The dread of responsibility that might devolve upon him turns him aside +from every sort of endeavor, and he passes his life in a hopeless and +sluggish inaction, from a fear of drawing down upon himself reproaches to +which he might have to make answer or of being compelled to take part in +discussions which would involve the disturbing of his indolent repose.</p> + +<p>Are we to suppose then that he finds real happiness in such a state of +things?</p> + +<p>Certainly not, for this negative existence weighs upon him with all the +burden of a monotony that he feels powerless to throw off. His own +mediocrity enrages him while the success of others fills him with +dismay.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless his weakness of character allows the hate of action to +speak more loudly to him than legitimate ambition, and keeps him in a state +of obvious inferiority that of itself gives birth to numberless new +enemies, who end by destroying him utterly.</p> + +<p>He is first attacked by slowness of comprehension, the inevitable +consequence of that idleness that causes the cowardly to shun the +battle.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></a>[pg +31]</span>Rather than combat influences from without he allows them daily +to assume a more prominent and a more definite place in his thoughts.</p> + +<p>His hatred of action says no to all initiative and he considers that he +has accomplished his whole duty toward society and toward himself when he +says: "What's the use of undertaking this or that? I haven't a chance of +succeeding and it is therefore idle to invite defeat!"</p> + +<p>So quickly does the change work that his mind, from lack of proper +exercise, rapidly reaches the condition where it can not voluntarily +comprehend any but the most simple affairs and goes to pieces when +confronted with occasions that call for reflection or reasoning, which he +considers as the hardest kind of work.</p> + +<p>It is hardly a matter for astonishment, therefore, that under these +conditions effeminacy should take possession of a soul that has become the +sport of all the weaknesses that are born of a desire to avoid +exertion.</p> + +<p>We do not care to draw the picture of that case too often encountered in +which this moral defeat becomes changed into envy, the feeling of +bitterness against all men, the veritable hell of the man who has not the +power to make the effort that shall free him.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></a>[pg +32]</span>Mental instability is the inevitable consequence of this state of +affairs.</p> + +<p>All brain-activity being regarded as a useless toil, the man of timidity +never understands the depth of the questions he has not the courage to +discuss. If he does talk of them, it is with a bias rendered all the more +prejudiced by the fact that, instead of expressing his ideas, he takes +refuge in fortifying his heresies with arguments of which the smallest +discussion would demonstrate the worthlessness.</p> + +<p>This unwillingness to discuss conditions gives rise among people who are +deficient in poise to a special form of reasoning, which causes them to +summarize in the most hurried fashion even the gravest events, upon the +sole consideration that they are not asked to take part in them. If, by any +chance, they are forced to be actors in these events the least little +incident assumes for them the most formidable proportions.</p> + +<p>It seems probable that this tendency to exaggerate everything with which +they come in contact is due solely to egoism. It is certain at any rate +that egoism plays a large part in it, but some portion of it is due to the +lack of observation that characterizes all people of timidity.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a>[pg +33]</span>The mental idleness and the instability of mind that we have +already considered render such people less inclined to consider with any +degree of care those things which do not touch them directly.</p> + +<p>At this stage, it is no longer possible for them to feign ignorance in +order to avoid the trouble of thinking, and they are only touched, even by +the most personal matters, to the extent that circumstances impose upon +them the necessity of thinking or of acting with reference to the subject +under consideration.</p> + +<p>The idea that they can no longer avoid the resolutions which must be +made and their fear of the consequences which may result from these affect +them to such a profound extent that the most insignificant of occurrences +immediately assumes for them an altogether incommensurate importance.</p> + +<p>This state of mind is a notable foe of poise. It is practically +impossible for a person under such conditions to believe that any +considerable effort he has made can have passed unperceived.</p> + +<p>This propensity to assign an exaggerated importance to personal affairs +develops egoism, the avowed enemy of poise. An egoist necessarily assumes +that the rest of the world attributes <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></a>[pg 34]</span>to his acts the importance he +himself assigns to them.</p> + +<p>This preoccupation does not fail to upset him. It increases his +embarrassment and the fear of not appearing in the light in which he wishes +to be seen paralyzes him, while the dread of what other people may think +prevents him from being himself.</p> + +<p>To this cause many otherwise inexplicable defeats must be assigned, the +result of which is a renewed resentment against the world at large and an +ardent desire to avoid any further exposure to the chance of failure.</p> + +<p>A case in point is the man who becomes nervous while making a speech, +starts to stammer, and makes a lamentable failure of what began well +enough, because he imagines that persons in the audience are making fun of +him.</p> + +<p>He has overheard a word, or surprized a look, neither of which had any +relation to him, but so great is his egoism that he does not dream that any +one in the audience can be so lacking in taste as to be concerned with +anything but himself.</p> + +<p>Had this man, in spite of his egoism, been endowed with poise, he would +have gone along calmly, simply forcing himself to ignore all <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></a>[pg 35]</span>criticism +and to impress his very critics by his attitude and his eloquence. But his +distrust of himself, his mental instability, his habitual weakness of +reasoning, all these enemies of poise league themselves together to inflict +upon him a defeat, of which the memory will only aggravate his nervousness +and his desire never to repeat such an unpleasant experience.</p> + +<p>For the man who has no poise there is no snatching victory from defeat. +His feeble will-power is completely routed, and the effort involved in +stemming the tide of adverse opinion is to him an impossibility.</p> + +<p>From dread of being carried away by the current, and feeling himself +incapable of struggling against it, he prefers to hide himself in the caves +along the shore, rather than to make one desperate effort to cross the +stream.</p> + +<p>But the very isolation he seeks, in depriving him of moral support, +increases his embarrassment.</p> + +<p>"It is not good for man to be alone," says Holy Writ. It is certainly +deplorable, for one who desires to make his way, to find himself without a +prop, without a counselor, and without a guide.</p> + +<p>This is the case of those timid persons who <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_36" id="Page_36"></a>[pg 36]</span>do not understand how to make +friends for themselves.</p> + +<p>Poise, on the other hand, invites sympathy. It aids men to expand. It +creates friends when needed, and weaves the bonds of comradeship and of +protection without which our social fabric could not hold together.</p> + +<p>Educators should seek for inspiration in the lessons that the exigencies +of modern life offer to the view of the observer. Excessive modesty, sworn +enemy of poise, is, socially speaking, a fault from which young minds +should be carefully guarded.</p> + +<p>It is the open door to all the feeblenesses which interfere with the +development of poise.</p> + +<p>It is a mistake that it has so long been considered as a virtue.</p> + +<p>In any case, the day of extreme humility is past. This detachment from +oneself is contrary to all the laws of progress.</p> + +<p>It is opposed to all the principles of evolution and of growth which +should be the study of all our contemporaries, whatever their station or +the class to which they may happen to belong.</p> + +<p>No man has the right to withdraw himself from the battle and to shirk +his duties, while watching other people fighting to maintain the <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37"></a>[pg 37]</span>social +equilibrium and seeking to achieve the position to which their talents and +their attainments render them worthy to aspire.</p> + +<p>That which is too easily honored with the title of modesty is generally +nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals +itself.</p> + +<p>It is a very easy thing to strike a disdainful attitude and to exclaim: +"I didn't care to compete!"</p> + +<p>Do not forget that a defeat after a sanguinary combat is infinitely more +honorable than a retreat in which not a blow is struck.</p> + +<p>Moreover, the combats of the mind temper the soul, just as those of the +body fortify the flesh, by making both fit for the victory that is to +be.</p> + +<p>It is then against the enemies of poise that we must go forth to +war.</p> + +<p>Cowardice must be hunted down, wherever we encounter it, because its +victims are thrown into the struggle of life burdened with an undeniable +inferiority.</p> + +<p>Even if they are worth while no one will be found to observe it, since +their lack of poise always turns them back upon themselves, and very few +people have the wit to discover what is so sedulously concealed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38"></a>[pg +38]</span>Deception is the necessary corollary of this, and one that very +soon becomes changed into spite. The disappointment of being misunderstood +must inevitably lead us to condemn those who do not comprehend us. Our +shyness will be increased at this and we shall end by disbelieving +ourselves in the qualities that we find other people ignoring in us.</p> + +<p>From this condition of discouragement to that of mental inertia it is +but a step, and many worthy people who lack poise have rapidly traveled +this road to plunge themselves into the obscurity of renunciation.</p> + +<p>They are like paralytics. Like these poor creatures they have limbs +which are of no service to them and which from habitual lack of functioning +end by becoming permanently useless.</p> + +<p>If their nature is a bad one they will have still more reason to +complain of this lack of poise, with its train of inconveniences of which +we have been treating, that will leave them weakened and a prey to all +sorts of mental excesses which will be the more serious in their effects +for the fact that their existence is known to no one but the victims.</p> + +<p>Instead of admitting that their lack of poise-due <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></a>[pg 39]</span>to the +various faults of character we have been discussing--is the sole cause of +the apparent ostracism from which they suffer, they indulge in accusations +against fate, against the world, against circumstances, and grow to hate +all those who have succeeded, without being willing to acknowledge that +they have never seriously made the attempt themselves.</p> + +<p>Only those return home with the spoils who have taken part in the +battle, have paid with their blood and risked their lives.</p> + +<p>The man who remains in hiding behind the walls of his house can hardly +be astonished that such honors do not come his way.</p> + +<p>Life is a battle, and victory is always to the strong. The timid are +never called upon to take their share of the booty. It becomes the property +of those who have had the force to win it, either by sheer courage or by +cautious strategy, for real bravery is not always that which calls for the +easy applause of the crowd.</p> + +<p>It is found just as much among those who have the will-power to keep +silent as to their plans and to resist the temptation to actions which, +while satisfying their desire for energetic measures may destroy the +edifice that they have so carefully constructed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></a>[pg +40]</span>It is for this reason that enthusiasm may be considered with +justice as an enemy of poise.</p> + +<p>Those who act under the domination of an impulse born of a too-vivid +impression are rarely in a state of mind that can be depended upon to judge +sanely and impartially. They nearly always overshoot the mark at which they +aim. They are like runners dashing forward at such a high speed that they +can not bring themselves to a sudden stop. Habitual enthusiasm is also the +enemy of reflection. It is an obstacle to that reason from which proceed +strong resolves, and one is often impelled, in observing people who are +fired with too great an ardor, to thoughts of the fable of the burning +straw.</p> + +<p>A teacher, who inclined to the methods that consist of object lessons, +one day asked two children to make a choice between two piles, one of +straw, the other of wood. It is hardly necessary to add that while the size +of the pile of straw was great that of the wood was hardly one-tenth of the +volume.</p> + +<p>The first child, when told to make his choice, took the mass of straw, +which he set on fire easily enough, warming himself first from a respectful +distance and then at close range, in proportion as the heat of the fire +grew less.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></a>[pg +41]</span>In so doing he made great sport of his companion, who struggled +meanwhile to set alight the pile of wood. But what was the outcome?</p> + +<p>The huge mass of straw was soon burned out, while the wood, once lit, +furnished a tranquil and steady flame, which the first child watched with +envy while seated by the mass of cinders that alone remained of the +vanished pile that he had chosen.</p> + +<p>The man of real poise is like the child who, disclaiming the transitory +blaze of the straw, prefers to work patiently at building a fire whose +moderate heat will afford him a durable and useful warmth.</p> + +<p>Let us then beware of sudden unreasoning enthusiasms. After the +ephemeral flame of their first ardor has burned itself out we shall but +find ourselves seated by the mass of ashes formed of our mistakes and our +dead energies.</p> + +<p>The rock on which so many abortive attempts are wrecked in the effort to +achieve poise is a type of sentimentality peculiar to certain natures.</p> + +<p>This state of mind is characterized by a craving for expansion, which is +all the more irritating since the timidity of the person concerned prevents +it from being satisfied.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></a>[pg +42]</span>In place of relying upon themselves, feeling their disabilities +and the lack of poise which prevents them from proper expression, such +people try to make themselves understood by those who do not appreciate +their feelings, without stopping to think that they have done nothing to +make clear what they really need.</p> + +<p>Such a chaotic state of mind, based on errors of judgment, is a very +serious obstacle to the acquisition of poise.</p> + +<p>This anxiety to communicate their feelings, always rendered ineffective +by the difficulty of making the effort involved, gives rise in the long run +to a species of misanthropy.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of common knowledge that misanthropy urges those who +suffer from it to fall back upon themselves, and from this state to that of +active hostility toward others the road is short, and timid people are +rarely able to pull up before they have traversed it.</p> + +<p>There comes to them from this intellectual solitude an unhappiness so +profound that they are glad to be able to attribute to the mental +inferiority of others the condition of moral isolation in which they +live.</p> + +<p>To insist that they are misunderstood, and to pride themselves upon the +fact, is the inevitable <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" +id="Page_43"></a>[pg 43]</span>fate of those who never can summon up +courage to undertake a battle against themselves.</p> + +<p>It seems to them a thousand times easier to say: "These minds are too +gross to comprehend mine," than to seek for a means of establishing an +understanding with those whom they tax with ignorance and +insensibility.</p> + +<p>They might, perhaps, be convinced of the utility to them of divulging +their feelings, could they be forced into a position where they had to +defend their ideas or were compelled to put up a fight on behalf of their +convictions.</p> + +<p>In the ranks of the enemies of poise sullenness most certainly finds a +place.</p> + +<p>It is the fault of the feeble-spirited who have not the energy to affirm +their sentiments or to make a plain statement of their convictions that +they become incensed with those who oppose them.</p> + +<p>In their case a good deal of false pride is present. They know +themselves to be beaten and to be incapable of fighting, yet they are too +vain to accept defeat. They refuse the sympathy that wounds them, and +suffer the more from their inability to yield themselves to that good-will +which would aid and comfort them.</p> + +<p>From this mental conflict is born an irritation <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></a>[pg 44]</span>that manifests itself in the +form of obstinate sullenness.</p> + +<p>In other cases the same state of mind may produce radically different +results.</p> + +<p>Always obsessed by the fear of appearing ridiculous and by the no less +vivid dread of seeming to be an object of sympathy, such people are often +driven through lack of poise into extreme boastfulness.</p> + +<p>No man who has poise will ever fall a victim to this misfortune.</p> + +<p>He knows exactly what his capabilities are and he has no need to +exaggerate his own abilities to impress his friends.</p> + +<p>Poise calls for action, when this becomes necessary; but the man of +resolve, being always prepared to do what is needful, considers mere +boasting and bravado as something quite unworthy of him.</p> + +<p>There are, however, certain extenuating circumstances in the cases of +those timid people who take refuge in boasting. They are almost invariably +the dupes of their own fancies, and for the moment really believe +themselves to be capable of endeavors beset by difficulties, of the +surmounting of which they understand nothing.</p> + +<p>Nothing looks easier to duplicate than certain <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></a>[pg 45]</span>movements which are performed +with apparent ease by experts.</p> + +<p>Which of us has not been profoundly astonished at the enormous +difficulty experienced in accomplishing some simple act of manual toil that +we see performed without the least effort by a workman trained to this +particular task?</p> + +<p>What looks easier, for instance, than to plane a piece of wood or to dig +up the ground?</p> + +<p>Is it possible that the laborer, wheeling a barrow, really has to be +possest of skill or strength?</p> + +<p>It hardly seems so. And yet the man who takes a plane in his hands for +the first time will be astounded at the difficulty he experiences in +approximating to the regularity and lightness of stroke that comes +naturally to the carpenter.</p> + +<p>The man who essays to dig a piece of ground or to wheel a barrow, will +find himself making irregular ditches and traveling in zigzags, and all +this at the expense of a hundred times the energy put forth by the workman +who is accustomed to these particular forms of labor.</p> + +<p>The person of timidity who boasts of his remarkable exploits is +actuated, as a general rule, by sheer lack of experience.</p> + +<p>His peculiar fault keeps him always in the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></a>[pg 46]</span>background and prevents him +from accomplishing any public action, and for this reason those efforts +appear easy to him that he has never thought of attempting.</p> + +<p>Further than this, aided by his false pride, he considers that his +merits are easily greater than those of the people who are not able to +understand him, and he is acting in perfect good faith when he professes to +be able to accomplish what they can not.</p> + +<p>Is it necessary to add that the ironical reception given to such +exhibitions of boastfulness rouse in him a feeling of irritation which is +all the greater for the fact that he does not openly show it?</p> + +<p>The man of resolve will never experience these unpleasant emotions.</p> + +<p>He knows exactly what he wants and what he can do. So we see him +marching ahead steadily, his eyes fixt upon the goal he has worked out for +himself, paying no heed whatever to misleading suggestions, which cripple +his breadth of soul and would in the end deprive him of that essential +energy which is vital to him if he would preserve his even poise, the +foundation of mental balance and the source of every real success in +life.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a>[pg 47]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_III'></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<h3>WAR ON TIMIDITY</h3> + + +<p>One can not be too insistent in asserting how harmful the lack of poise +can be, and when once this weakness has reached the stage of timidity it +may produce the most tragic consequences not only so far as the daily +routine of our lives is concerned, but also with reference to our moral and +physical equilibrium.</p> + +<p>So, when the nervous system is constantly set on edge by the emotions to +which this fault gives rise, it necessarily follows that all the faculties +suffer in their turn.</p> + +<p>This is particularly true of those who are constantly haunted by the +fear of finding themselves in a condition of mental unpreparedness, to the +extent that they prefer to remain in solitude and silence rather than to +mingle in a world which really has too many other things to think of to +concern itself with their acts or their opinions.</p> + +<p>This morbid dread of becoming the subject of ridicule ends by creating a +peculiar condition <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" +id="Page_48"></a>[pg 48]</span>of mind of which, as we have already pointed +out, egoism is the pivot.</p> + +<p>In this way it is a common occurrence to see people of timidity paying +exaggerated attention to the slightest changes in the condition of their +health.</p> + +<p>Such people by shutting themselves out from the world have reduced it to +the circumference of their own personalities and everything which touches +them necessarily assumes gigantic importance in their eyes.</p> + +<p>The slightest opposition becomes for them a catastrophe. The smallest +unpleasantness presents itself to them in the light of a tragic +misfortune.</p> + +<p>For this reason the lives of the timid become a succession of boredoms +and of pains.</p> + +<p>Even in those cases where no really unfortunate incident occurs, these +people so exaggerate what actually does happen to them that the least +little emotion causes them the most profound unhappiness.</p> + +<p>On those days when nothing in particular happens they spend their time +anticipating all sorts of disasters, including those which are not the +least likely to happen. To them the tiniest cloud is an omen of a +devastating storm.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></a>[pg +49]</span>When the sun is shining their timidity prevents them from +exposing themselves to the heat of its rays.</p> + +<p>The timid man, in his moral isolation, is like the hare, who, crouched +in its form, sleeps with one eye open in constant terror of the passer-by +or of the hunter.</p> + +<p>It may be well to add that worry about oneself is invariably an +accompaniment of all these troubles. People without poise are, with very +few exceptions, egotists who exaggerate their own importance.</p> + +<p>Moreover, they suffer keenly from the obscurity into which their defects +have forced them as well as from dread of the alternatives presented to +them, the making of an effort to escape this fate, an idea that fills them +with horror, or the continuing to live in the unhappy condition that has +spoiled existence for them through their own faults.</p> + +<p>It is hardly then a matter for surprize that so many people who are thus +mentally out of balance end by becoming neurotics or become a prey to those +cerebral disorders that are, unfortunately, all too frequent.</p> + +<p>This condition of solitude, at once deplored and self-imposed, has the +still more serious disadvantage <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" +id="Page_50"></a>[pg 50]</span>of leaving the mind, for lack of proper +control, to the domination of the most false and exaggerated ideas.</p> + +<p>It is a well-known fact that any force of exaggeration, however obvious, +becomes less noticeable to us in proportion as it becomes more +familiar.</p> + +<p>It exists, in the last analysis, only by its comparative relation to +other things.</p> + +<p>It is certain that a child ten years old would seem very large if he +were five feet high, whereas a man of that stature is considered a +dwarf.</p> + +<p>Among Oriental races a woman is generally classed as a blonde whose hair +is not absolutely black.</p> + +<p>Things only take their real appearance from a comparison with others of +the same kind.</p> + +<p>For all his science, an ethnologist, placed in front of a man of an +unknown tribe, would be unable to say whether this man's stature were +normal or below the average in relation to others of his race, since no +information would be forthcoming as to this people's height or +characteristics. It is, therefore, no matter for surprize that the timid +man, shut in upon himself and having no other horizon than the limited +field of his own observations, is disposed <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></a>[pg 51]</span>to picture them in colors +whose truth he can not verify, since the terms of comparison, vital to the +accomplishment of his end, are not available to him.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, impossible for such a man not to become accustomed to +the idea as it presents itself to him, to such an extent that he is quite +unconscious of its successive changes in character.</p> + +<p>Do we notice the growth of a child who is constantly with us until he +reaches man's estate?</p> + +<p>Can we measure the development of a blossom into the perfect flower?</p> + +<p>Assuredly not, if we have lived daily in the company of the child and +have glanced several times an hour at the blossom.</p> + +<p>Both the one and the other will reach maturity without being sensibly +conscious of the fact that they are changing.</p> + +<p>But if we go away from the child for a few months, if, in the interval, +we see other children, we can form an estimate of his growth and can +compare him mentally with the other children we have met.</p> + +<p>The same is true of the flower. If other duties call us away for the +moment from contemplating <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" +id="Page_52"></a>[pg 52]</span>it, we will notice the progress of its +unfolding and we will also be able to tell whether, in relation to that of +other plants, it is quick, slow, or merely normal.</p> + +<p>The man who is timid, be he never so observant, will derive no benefit +from these observations, for he is quite unable to generalize and refers +them all to a point of view which cramps them hopelessly and gives them a +color that is, entirely false.</p> + +<p>So, from the habit of thinking without any opposition, little by little +he allows his ideas to become changed and distorted without any one's being +able to advise him of the misconceptions which he keeps closely to +himself.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that all timid people have a marked tendency to +distort facts and to acquire false ideas.</p> + +<p>It is often with perfect good faith that they affirm a thing which they +believe sincerely, not having had the opportunity to control the successive +changes which have transformed it absolutely from what it was at the +outset.</p> + +<p>It is a lucky day for timid people of this class when fate prevents them +from entering into competition with those who are possest of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></a>[pg +53]</span>Were these latter a hundred times weaker than they are they would +still end by triumphing over their feeble antagonists.</p> + +<p>It is above all in the affairs of ordinary every-day life that poise +renders the most valuable service.</p> + +<p>If it becomes a question of presenting or discussing a matter of +business, the timid man, embarrassed by his own personality, begins to +stammer, becomes confused, and can not recall a single argument. He finally +abandons all the gain that he dreamed of making in order to put an end to +the torments from which he suffers.</p> + +<p>He is to be considered lucky if under the domination of the troubles in +which he finds himself, he does not lose all faculty of speech.</p> + +<p>This failing, so common among the timid, is a further cause of confusion +to the victim.</p> + +<p>At the bare idea that he may become the prey of such a calamity he +unconsciously closes his lips and lowers the tones of his voice.</p> + +<p>The man of poise, on the other hand, feels himself the more impelled to +redouble his efforts in proportion to the need his cause has for being well +defended.</p> + +<p>He knows how to arrange his arguments, and <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></a>[pg 54]</span>to foresee those of his +adversary, and, if he finds himself face to face with a statement which he +can not refute, he will seek some means of softening the defeat or of +changing the ground of the debate in such a way as to avoid confusion to +himself.</p> + +<p>In any event, such an occurrence will have no profound effect upon him. +Vanquished on one point, he will find the presence of mind to at once +change the character of the discussion to questions which are at once +familiar and favorable to him.</p> + +<p>He who goes forth into life armed with poise has also the marked +advantage over the timid that comes from superior health.</p> + +<p>This phrase should not be the occasion for a smile. Timidity is a +chronic cause of poor health in those who suffer from it.</p> + +<p>Pushed to extremes, it is the source of a thousand nervous defects.</p> + +<p>We have already touched upon stammering.</p> + +<p>Unreasonable blushing is another misfortune of the timid. In drawing the +attention of one's opponents it betrays at once one's ideas and one's +fears.</p> + +<p>Fear of this uncomfortable blushing inhibits many people from making the +most of themselves <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" +id="Page_55"></a>[pg 55]</span>or from properly protecting their own +interests.</p> + +<p>The shame they feel on account of this inferiority leads them, as we +have seen, to seek isolation in which hypochondria slowly grows upon them, +sure forerunner of that terrible neurasthenia of which the effects are so +diverse and so disconcerting.</p> + +<p>The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes +transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by a +thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to walk +unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, etc., +etc.</p> + +<p>It must not be forgotten that these crises of embarrassments always +produce extreme emotion accompanied by palpitations whose frequent +recurrence may lead to actual heart trouble.</p> + +<p>All these disadvantages increase the sullenness of the timid, who are +overcome by the sense of their own physical weakness, which they know has +its origin in a condition of mind that they lack the power either to change +or to abolish.</p> + +<p>All these causes of physical inferiority are <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_56" id="Page_56"></a>[pg 56]</span>unknown to the man who +appreciates the value of poise and puts it into practise.</p> + +<p>Such a man has no fear of embarrassment in speaking. He is a stranger to +the misery of aimless blushing. If he does not always emerge victorious +from the oratorical combats in which he engages he at least has the +satisfaction of acknowledging to himself that he has not been beaten easily +or without a struggle. In short, misanthropy, neurasthenia, and all their +attendant ills, are for him unknown ailments.</p> + +<p>One can not be too watchful against the attacks of timidity, which, like +a contaminated spring, poisons the entire existence of those who are unable +to dam up its flow.</p> + +<p>Among the martyrdoms which are caused by it must be counted indecision, +which is one of its most frequent and most unhappy results.</p> + +<p>The timid man can not stop at any point.</p> + +<p>He vacillates unceasingly and takes turn by turn the most opposing +viewpoints.</p> + +<p>It is only fair to add that he rejects them all almost as soon as he has +formed them.</p> + +<p>His state of mind being always one of distrust of his own powers, it is +impossible for him not to be afraid that he has made a mistake, if he is +left to do his own thinking.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57"></a>[pg +57]</span>We have seen how his craving for sympathy, never satisfied, since +he does not make it known, drives him ever into impotent rage, which throws +him back upon himself in scarcely concealed irritation, that alienates him +from all sympathy and precludes all confidences.</p> + +<p>It is rarely, therefore, that the timid person does not find himself +isolated when facing the decisions of greater or less gravity that daily +life makes necessary.</p> + +<p>In terror of making a mistake that may lead to some change of course or +give rise to the necessity of taking some definite action, he hesitates +everlastingly.</p> + +<p>If, driven into a corner by circumstances, he ends by making some +decision, we may be sure that he will at once regret it and that, if the +time still remains to him, he will modify it in some way, only to revert to +it again a moment later.</p> + +<p>His will is like a ball continually thrown to and fro by children. No +sooner is it tossed in one direction than it is suddenly sent flying in +another, to return finally to its starting-place at the moment when the +players' weariness causes it to fall to the ground.</p> + +<p>This particular state of mind is primarily due to two causes:</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58"></a>[pg +58]</span>The desire for perfection that haunts all timid people.</p> + +<p>The fear of making a mistake that arises from the habit of continually +mistrusting one's own judgment.</p> + +<p>There are many other causes, the analysis of which is far beyond the +scope of this work, but every one of these can be referred to the two main +issues we have defined. The desire for perfection is at once the result and +the cause of most timidity.</p> + +<p>While the man of resolve, relying upon his experience, is able to +perform his part in those normal exigencies that he is able to conceive of, +the timid man, shut off by his defects from all practical knowledge of +life, comes to grief by discovering something amiss with every course that +he considers.</p> + +<p>A familiar proverb tells us that everything has its good and its bad +side.</p> + +<p>The timid see only the latter when making the decisions that fate +imposes upon them.</p> + +<p>They fall into despair at their inability to see the other side of +things and their feeble will drives against solid obstacles like a car +colliding with a block of granite.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution, instead of yielding to <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_59" id="Page_59"></a>[pg 59]</span>despair, seeks to surmount +such a difficulty by turning his car in another direction; but, if the new +road shows him nothing but dangerous pitfalls, he will choose to go around +the block and continue his journey, remembering it as a landmark for his +return.</p> + +<p>For this reason we shall find him well on his way toward his journey's +end while the victim of timidity continues to exhaust himself by vain +efforts, thankful enough if he is not permanently mired in some of the bogs +into which he has imprudently ventured. This is a state of affairs of much +more frequent occurrence than one might suppose. Timidity, as we have seen, +often unites the boldest conceptions with complete inexperience, which does +not permit of accurate judgment as to impossibilities.</p> + +<p>This lack of knowledge of life is also the cause of a continual fear of +making mistakes.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution never suffers from this complaint.</p> + +<p>Having taught himself the value of a ripened judgment, he is quick to +recognize the advantage to be derived from any project. He weighs +alternatives carefully and only makes his decisions on well-thought-out +grounds, after sufficient <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" +id="Page_60"></a>[pg 60]</span>reasoned reflection to make sure that he +will have no cause for future regret.</p> + +<p>We have already remarked that such forms of irresolution constituted a +martyrdom. The word is by no means too strong. They are never-ending +occasions for physical and moral torture.</p> + +<p>They are to be met with in the most trivial details of every-day +life.</p> + +<p>The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an +ever-recurring source of torment.</p> + +<p>He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead +and another back, looks despairingly at the line of vehicles that bars his +way, and, when a momentary opening in this confronts him, takes so long to +make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before he has +seized it.</p> + +<p>Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger +to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the vehicles +that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them, or of any +quick or dexterous movement by which he may avoid them.</p> + +<p>This little picture, despite its commonplace nature, is nevertheless a +symbol.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61"></a>[pg +61]</span>In the crossings of life, as well as those of the streets, the +man who is timid is at an immense disadvantage when compared with the man +of poise.</p> + +<p>The latter does not worry his head about the traffic that blocks his +progress.</p> + +<p>Aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment, he stands +firmly awaiting the moment that affords him an opening. Then, with muscles +tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead here, or +glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic and reaches +his goal without having suffered from accident.</p> + +<p>The troubles upon which we have been dwelling are never his. His soul, +dominated by a well-ordered will, by reason, and all the other good +qualities we enumerated in the first chapter, is proof against all attacks +of weakness.</p> + +<p>In the event of his not possessing all these virtues, he has the wit to +keep the thought of them always before him and to work hard to acquire +them, so that he may become what, in modern parlance, we call "a force," +that is to say one whose soul is virile enough to influence not only his +mind, but even to liberate his body from the defects created in it by +distrust of self.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62"></a>[pg +62]</span>But, it will be claimed, there are people who are born timid and +who are quite unable to achieve the mastery of themselves.</p> + +<p>Every human being can win the victory over himself. This we will prove +conclusively in the pages that are to follow, dedicated to those who are +desirous of arming themselves, in the great game of life, with that master +card which is named POISE.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63"></a>[pg 63]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h1><a name='PART_II'></a>PART II</h1> + +<h2>HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE</h2> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64"></a>[pg 64]</span> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65"></a>[pg 65]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_I'></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h3>MODESTY AND EFFRONTERY CONTRASTED</h3> + + +<p>"Never force your talents" a well-known writer has said. One always +feels like crying this to those who, thinking to reach the goal of poise, +fall into excess and develop effrontery and exaggeratedness.</p> + +<p>Poise can not exist without coolness. We have seen that this quality is +rarely met with in enthusiasts.</p> + +<p>It is never found in those who have effrontery.</p> + +<p>Poise does not consist in the species of ostentatious carelessness which +essays to travel through life as a child might wander among hives of bees +without taking any precautions against being stung.</p> + +<p>Neither is it that false courage that drives one headlong into a +conflict without any thought as to the blows likely to fall upon the +foolhardy person who has ventured into it.</p> + +<p>The principle upon which we must start is <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_66" id="Page_66"></a>[pg 66]</span>this: life is a battle in +which strategy always has the advantage over blind courage.</p> + +<p>Unfortunate is he who, by his boasting or his lack of generalship, +decides upon an attack for which he is not really prepared. However brave +he may be he will infallibly find himself vanquished in a struggle in which +everything has combined in advance to defeat him.</p> + +<p>Boasting is not courage. Still less is it poise.</p> + +<p>Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self. It inhibits all +outward manifestations that are likely to result in giving information to +strangers with regard to our real feelings.</p> + +<p>Braggarts can not avoid this stumbling-block. They know nothing of the +delights of contemplation, from which arise ripe resolutions that will be +steadfastly followed.</p> + +<p>With the noise of their boastings, with the shouting of their own +braggart ineptitudes, they hypnotize themselves so thoroughly that they are +quite unable to hear the counsel that sane wisdom whispers in their +ears.</p> + +<p>They are like the man in the eastern fable who was quite unable to +follow a beaten path and was constantly wandering across the fields of his +neighbors.</p> + +<p>These detours were in general much longer <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_67" id="Page_67"></a>[pg 67]</span>than the direct road would +have been, and he received a constant stream of abuse, to say nothing of +blows, from the people whose crops he was ruining.</p> + +<p>But he seemed quite insensible to assaults and insisted upon following, +across lots, a road which led nowhere.</p> + +<p>It would be difficult to paint a more faithful portrait. Like the +peasant in the story, the man of effrontery is always wandering far from +the common road, the tranquil peace of which he despises.</p> + +<p>He delights in crossing land that he knows to be forbidden to him, seeks +to force open gates that are closed at his approach, and, if he can not +overcome the opposition of the porter, watches for the moment when an open +window will permit him entrance into a house where he will be coldly, if +not angrily, received.</p> + +<p>What is the result of this?</p> + +<p>Nothing favorable to his plans, one may be sure. People point him out. +They fly from him, and were he the bearer of the most advantageous +proposition, refuse to put any faith in his assertions as soon as they get +to know him in the least.</p> + +<p>Effrontery may sometimes impose upon the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_68" id="Page_68"></a>[pg 68]</span>innocent. But it is only a +momentary deception, quickly dissipated the moment that time is given to +estimate the emptiness of its claims.</p> + +<p>There is another variety of effrontery that is comparable to the form of +courage exhibited by the timorous who sing in a loud voice in order to +lessen their terror and imagine that by so doing they give the illusion of +bravery.</p> + +<p>People of this sort talk very loudly, often contradicting themselves, +and pass judgment upon everything, dismissing the most difficult questions +with only a passing thought, but remain silent and are put completely out +of countenance as soon as one insists upon their listening to reason, or +when--in familiar language--they "meet their match."</p> + +<p>The man of effrontery is a passionate devotee of bluff, and not only of +that variety of which Jonathan Dick has said:</p> + +<p>"It is a security discounted in advance."</p> + +<p>A little further on he adds:</p> + +<p>"Bluffers of the right sort are only so when the occasion demands it, in +order to give the impression that the wished-for result has already been +achieved.</p> + +<p>"As soon as their credit is assured and appearances have become +realities that allow them <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" +id="Page_69"></a>[pg 69]</span>to establish themselves in positions of +security they at once cease the effort to deceive."</p> + +<p>Our author concludes:</p> + +<p>"Bluff, to be successful, must never be founded upon puerility or +brag."</p> + +<p>Now these two qualities are always to be met with in the doings of the +man of effrontery, who only achieves by accident the goal he aims at, and +then only in the most insecure way.</p> + +<p>Drawbacks differing as to their causes, but equally unlucky as to their +results, are born of the opposite fault--modesty.</p> + +<p>It is high time to destroy the leniency shown toward this defect that +old-fashioned educators once decorated with the title of virtue.</p> + +<p>Time has forged ahead, taking with it in its rapid course all forms of +progress, which, in its turn, has made giant strides.</p> + +<p>Ideas have changed materially. Modern life has to face emergencies +formerly undreamed of, and those who still believe in the virtue of modesty +are their own enemies, as well as those of the people whom they advise to +cultivate it.</p> + +<p>The case of this man is similar to that of many others, whose meaning +has been undergoing a gradual change due to the erroneous interpretation +that has deliberately been placed upon it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70"></a>[pg +70]</span>Modesty is very frequently nothing more than an evidence of +incompetence.</p> + +<p>It has rise in sentiments that the man who would be up to date must +avoid at all hazards--distrust of self and hatred of exertion.</p> + +<p>One rarely finds it in the man who is active and who knows his own +worth. To revenge itself, it flourishes among the lazy, who try to save +their pride and to conceal their secret irritation at the successes of +others by assuming an humble attitude and exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"Oh! I didn't care to do it!"</p> + +<p>Or still more frequently:</p> + +<p>"No, I haven't entered the lists. I am absolutely without ambition!"</p> + +<p>Under similar circumstances people who are unknown cry out, and with +reason:</p> + +<p>"Oh! I have a horror of publicity!"</p> + +<p>This is simply a roundabout way of informing us that were it not for +their retiring modesty, the hundred mouths of rumor would be shouting their +praise.</p> + +<p>Modesty is very rarely what it appears to be. As soon as it exhibits the +form of a wise reserve it must be called by another name: prudence and +self-justification.</p> + +<p>The attitude of trying to keep one's actions <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_71" id="Page_71"></a>[pg 71]</span>from becoming known is not a +laudable one, and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of +inaction.</p> + +<p>What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the +scientists and all the men of genius had made a practise of modesty!</p> + +<p>If our forefathers had been modest, when it was the fashion to be proud +of this quality, our museums would be empty and only a few of the initiated +would know that men of exceptional merit, which they had sedulously +concealed, had written manuscripts which had never been published. The +humility of the writers in such cases could be made to pay too severe a +penalty.</p> + +<p>No! Men who have merits are not modest! This false virtue is the +appanage of none but weak and irresolute hearts.</p> + +<p>We should congratulate ourselves, while admitting these facts, that our +forefathers were not so constituted, and that their faith in themselves, by +giving them confidence in their own work, made it possible for them to hand +these on to their descendants.</p> + +<p>Of what use to us would it be to know that a poem of finer quality and +more splendid fire <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" +id="Page_72"></a>[pg 72]</span>than any we have ever read had once been +written, if the modesty of its author had led him to keep it always in his +pocket and it had finally vanished into the limbo of ignored and forgotten +things?</p> + +<p>It is then actually wrong to sing the praises of modesty, which is no +more than distrust of oneself, egoism, and laziness.</p> + +<p>The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing +nothing. He hides his ineptitude behind this convenient veil whose +thickness allows him to hint of the existence of things which are nothing +but figments of his imagination.</p> + +<p>We might add that the man who proclaims his modesty enters the struggle +with a decided handicap against him. The moment he begins to have doubts +about his own powers he will be sure to find himself the prey of an +unfortunate indecision, and that at the very moment when he is called upon +to perform some decisive action.</p> + +<p>"One day," says an old writer, "three men, in the course of a climb up a +mountain, found themselves confronted by a crevasse that they must +cross.</p> + +<p>"One of these was a timid man, another a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_73" id="Page_73"></a>[pg 73]</span>boaster, and the third was +possest of a reasoned poise.</p> + +<p>"The boaster made a jump without stopping to think and without taking +the trouble to measure the gap. He plunged into it.</p> + +<p>"The modest man then advanced, looked down into the gulf, then decided +to make use of the irregularities in the surface of the chasm to reduce the +width of the jump.</p> + +<p>"He made several attempts to carry this out, but could hardly touch the +edge before an instinctive movement of fear forced him back.</p> + +<p>"He worked so hard and so long at this that he was quite tired out when +he at last chose the moment for the decisive attempt. He jumped, indeed, +but in such a half-hearted way that he merely touched the opposite face of +the crevasse and fell to the bottom of the precipice alongside of the +boaster.</p> + +<p>"The third climber, who possest the advantage of poise, had meanwhile +been losing no time. He had mentally gaged the width of the crevasse, had +made a number of trial jumps to test his ability to clear it, and when, +with a firm resolution to succeed, he reached the edge from which he must +leap, his soul, fortified by the knowledge of his powers was fired with a +single <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74"></a>[pg +74]</span>idea, the consciousness of his own agility and strength.</p> + +<p>"By this means he, alone of the three, was able to cross the gulf in +which his two companions had perished."</p> + +<p>Effrontery and boastfulness have often another source. The shyness of +those who suffer from timidity, by isolating them and denying them the +means of expansion, prevents them from obtaining a real control over their +feelings, which undergo a process of deterioration so slow that they do not +notice it.</p> + +<p>There are very few things to which we can not easily become accustomed, +to the extent of a complete failure to notice their peculiarities, if their +strangeness is only unfolded to us gradually.</p> + +<p>A thousand things which shock us at the first blush take on the guise of +every-day matters when once we have acquired the habit of familiarity with +them.</p> + +<p>The timid man, who will not openly acknowledge his feelings, is +practically unable to take cognizance of their gradual transformation.</p> + +<p>We may add that he is always prone to dream, and peoples his world +involuntarily with imaginary utopias, which he begins by considering <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a>[pg 75]</span>as +desirable, then as possible, and finally as actually existing.</p> + +<p>This is the starting-point of boastfulness. It partakes at once of +falsity and of sincerity. The timid man loves to feel himself important, +and he merely pities the people whom he considers incapable of +understanding him. He is, nevertheless, sincere in his bravado, as his +dreams entirely deceive him as to his real self.</p> + +<p>In his solitary meditations he deliberately shakes off his own +personality, as a butterfly abandons the shelter of its chrysalis, and, +following the example of that gorgeous insect, he flies away on the wings +of his dreams in the guise of the being that he imagines himself to have +become.</p> + +<p>This creature resembles him not at all. It is brave, courageous, +eloquent. It accomplishes the most brilliant feats of daring.</p> + +<p>In this way, just so soon as the timid man becomes intermittently a +braggart, he commences to boast of exploits quite impossible of +performance. We must remember, however, that it is not he who speaks, but +merely the idealized ego which he invents because he is chagrined at being +misunderstood.</p> + +<p>Moral isolation is the parent of other curious <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_76" id="Page_76"></a>[pg 76]</span>phenomena. It imparts the +gift of seeing things exactly as we would wish them to be, by clothing them +little by little with a character entirely foreign to that which they +really possess.</p> + +<p>In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," we are told the following little +personal anecdote of the Japanese philosopher Yoritomo:</p> + +<p>"It was my misfortune as a child," says this ancient sage, "to be the +victim of a serious illness which kept me confined to a bed and unable to +move.</p> + +<p>"I was not allowed to read and my only distraction was the study of the +objects in my immediate neighborhood.</p> + +<p>"The pattern of a screen made a particular impression upon me with its +clusters of flowers and its bouquets of roses.</p> + +<p>"I passed hours in the contemplation of it.</p> + +<p>"At first I merely followed the outlines with my eye, finding in them no +more than an artistic reproduction of nature. But, little by little, the +clusters of flowers were transformed into gardens, the rose-trees took on +the imposing aspect of forests. In these gardens my dreams created a +princess, and in the forest a company of warriors.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77"></a>[pg +77]</span>"Then the romance began.</p> + +<p>"Every new line I observed became the pretext for creating a new +character. The princess was very soon taken captive by a giant--whom I saw +perfectly--and the warriors undertook the task of rescue.</p> + +<p>"Every day a panorama moved before me of changing personalities, who +reenacted the events of the story. Finally the obsession took such a strong +hold of me that I began to talk about it in a manner that aroused the fears +of my parents.</p> + +<p>"The screen was banished from my room and when, a few days later, it was +brought back for me to see, I was able to discover nothing more in it than +the designs with which it was adorned."</p> + +<p>This example, taken directly from life, shows us better than the most +extended arguments the dangers of moral isolation.</p> + +<p>By this we do not mean the isolation that is essential to concentration, +the practise of which always leads to the most fruitful results.</p> + +<p>We are speaking solely of the aloofness born of timidity or of +exaggerated pride, which, in depriving us of contrary views, develops in us +the propensity to see things from only one angle, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_78" id="Page_78"></a>[pg 78]</span>which is always that which +happens to flatter our vanity or please our tastes.</p> + +<p>All those persons who suffer from this disease of the will, which +deprives them of the ability of discussing things, may be compared to +runners who have neglected to ascertain the limits of their race.</p> + +<p>Like the latter, they keep running round the same track without any +means of discovering when they are nearing the goal.</p> + +<p>Instead of stopping, when they have reached it, they keep running +forward and the monotony of their efforts, coupled with the fever-heat +engendered by their exertions, very soon causes them to view the objects +that they keep passing and passing under a deformed and distorted +aspect.</p> + +<p>The man of reason, on the other hand, runs with the single purpose in +his mind of reaching the winning-post. He studiously avoids taking his eyes +off the goal, which he has carefully located in advance, and takes pains to +note the moment when he is nearing it, so as to run no risks of making his +spurt too soon.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of frequent observation that timidity often voluntarily +assumes the rôle of effrontery, from very despair of successfully +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79"></a>[pg +79]</span>accomplishing the task it is ambitious to perform.</p> + +<p>Illustrious examples of this contention are not lacking. Rousseau, who +was a coward of the greatest hardihood, says in his <i>Confessions</i>:</p> + +<p>"My foolish and unreasoning fear, that I was quite unable to overcome, +of perpetrating some breach of good manners led me to assume the attitude +of caring nothing for the niceties of life."</p> + +<p>A little further on, he adds:</p> + +<p>"I was made a cynic by shyness. I posed as a despiser of the politeness +I did not know how to practise."</p> + +<p>This is a much more frequent cause than one might think of the +exhibition of an effrontery which is apparently deliberate and +intentional.</p> + +<p>The timid man, feeling himself awkward and clownish when performing the +usual acts of courtesy, assumes the attitude of caring nothing for them and +of avoiding them deliberately, while all the while he is tortured by the +inability to perform them without seeming ridiculous.</p> + +<p>But the onlooker is not deceived. The outward appearance of cynicism +often conceals an inward sensitiveness of soul that is quite obvious, and +the actor makes so poor a hand at <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" +id="Page_80"></a>[pg 80]</span>identifying himself with the character he +would assume that it is clearly evident he is only playing a part.</p> + +<p>The conflict of diametrically opposing forces shows itself plainly in +his attitude which vacillates between the stiffest formality and the +easiest assurance.</p> + +<p>The awkwardness that is the bugbear of the timid shows itself even +beneath their work of cynicism, and the very effort accuses them, no less +than their flighty and unreasoning conversation and their gestures, now +exaggerated and now represt, all of which make up a whole that entirely +fails to give an impression of harmony.</p> + +<p>And what possible harmony can there be between a soul and a body that +are completely out of accord with each other?</p> + +<p>Should it be asked what the difference is between presumption or +effrontery and the poise that we have in mind, this simple illustration +should be illuminating.</p> + +<p>Effrontery, bravado, and exaggeration are qualities that are shown by +those who exceed their own capacity without giving the question a +thought.</p> + +<p>Poise is the virtue which gives us the strength of mind to analyze the +possibilities that are <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" +id="Page_81"></a>[pg 81]</span>dominant within us, to cultivate them, and +to strengthen them in every possible way before undertaking an enterprise +which is likely to call them into play.</p> + +<p>Real poise has no bluster about it. It has a good deal in it of +self-possession, the discretion belonging to which is one of its marked +characteristics.</p> + +<p>Repression of our outward movements enables us to achieve that control +over our emotions which makes a perfect cloak for our intentions, and +leaves our opponents in perplexity as to how to attack the fortress that +they wish to conquer.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, between modesty and effrontery, both equally +prejudicial to success, that poise must naturally be placed.</p> + +<p>But, it will be objected, all the world does not possess this gift of +poise. Are those who do not share it to be forever denied all chance of +success?</p> + +<p>Not so! It is open to all the world to acquire this gift, and if the +chapters following this are read with care it will be seen that it is +something that can be cultivated, so that it can be gradually perfected and +carried about with one as the germ of every sort of success, the happy +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82"></a>[pg +82]</span>issue of which depends upon a thorough realization of one's own +merits and the honorable ambition to accomplish a task that has been +prudently planned and bravely carried to an end.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83"></a>[pg 83]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_II'></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<h3>PHYSICAL EXERCISES TO ACQUIRE POISE</h3> + + +<p>Before preparing oneself by the exercise of reasoning and will-power for +the acquisition of poise, it is vitally necessary to make oneself +physically fit for the effort to be undertaken.</p> + +<p>One should begin with this fundamental principle:</p> + +<p>Timidity being a disease one must treat it just as one would any other +illness.</p> + +<p>Like all other physical maladies it is sure to be the cause of loss of +social prestige to those who suffer from it.</p> + +<p>It must then be combated in the same way as any other infirmity of long +standing that threatens to ruin the life of the sufferer.</p> + +<p>It is a grave mistake to consider it merely a mental ailment that can be +alleviated by nothing but psychological treatment.</p> + +<p>One's nervous condition plays a very large part in the conquest of +poise.</p> + +<p>We must, therefore, watch most carefully over <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_84" id="Page_84"></a>[pg 84]</span>the good health of the body +before taking any measures whatever to abolish a condition of affairs that +has been engendered by physical weakness and that will be fostered by it +unless such weakness can be eradicated or more or less dissipated and +ameliorated by a thousand little daily acts of care.</p> + +<p>It must be understood that we are not now speaking of medical treatment. +We have reference merely to that common-sense hygiene which has become more +or less a part of modern existence, and the daily practise of which, while +firmly establishing the health, has at the same time an undoubted reflex +action upon the mind. It is a well-known fact that energy is never found in +a weakened body, and that people who are suffering are clearly marked down +to become the prey of those wasting diseases, whose names, all more or less +fantastic, may be classed as a whole under the general heading of "nervous +maladies."</p> + +<p>To enumerate them is superfluous and unnecessary. Lack of poise gives +rise to all sorts of weaknesses, which are given the names of nervous +diseases and finally become classed in the category of phobias, of which +the starting-point is always a habit of fear due to excess of <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85"></a>[pg 85]</span>timidity. +This morbid disposition is the parent of a continual apprehensiveness which +is shown upon all sorts of occasions.</p> + +<p>The man who has the space phobia is quite unable to cross an open space +unless he is supported or, at the very least, accompanied.</p> + +<p>Claustrophobia is the malady of those who have a horror of close +quarters from which they can not easily make their escape.</p> + +<p>Writers' cramp is nothing in the world but one of these exaggerated +nervous terrors.</p> + +<p>Erythrophobia, that is to say the habit of inopportune and constant +blushing, is another of the commonest forms of excessive timidity.</p> + +<p>Stammering is another of the tortures that people of poise do not +experience, except in those cases where it is caused by a physical +malformation.</p> + +<p>All these maladies attack only the timid.</p> + +<p>There are many others, less serious in their nature, such as indecision, +exaggerated scrupulousness, extreme pliability, hypochondria. All of these +should be ruthlessly supprest the moment we become aware of them, for they +are one and all the forerunners of that mentally diseased condition which +gives rise to the phobias of which we have just been speaking.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86"></a>[pg +86]</span>To those who would seriously devote themselves to the cultivation +of poise it is, therefore, a vital necessity to be in a condition of +perfect health. It would be a misfortune, indeed, for them to find +themselves balked in their progress toward acquiring this quality by +anxieties regarding the condition of their bodies.</p> + +<p>Any indisposition, not to mention actual diseases, has a tendency to +inhibit all initiative.</p> + +<p>There is no room for doubt that a physical ailment by attracting to +itself the attention of the person who is attacked by it, prevents him from +giving the proper amount of energy to whatever he may be engaged upon.</p> + +<p>He thinks about nothing but his malady and quite forgets to take the +exercises that would enable him to alter his condition, to change his +actions, and even to make over his thoughts.</p> + +<p>His thoughts above all. Physical well-being has an undeniable influence +upon one's mental health.</p> + +<p>One very rarely sees a sick person who is happy. Even those who are +endowed with great force of character lose, under the burden of their +sufferings, part of their firmness of soul and of their legitimate +ambition.</p> + +<p>A very scientific force of hygiene is particularly <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87"></a>[pg +87]</span>recommended. Excessive measures of any sort must be avoided for +various reasons:</p> + +<p>(1) They are antagonistic to the maintenance of a perfect physical +equilibrium.</p> + +<p>(2) They will inevitably grow to dominate the mind unduly.</p> + +<p>When we speak of excesses, we intend to include those undertaken in the +way of work no less than those which are the outcome of the search for +pleasure.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless we will hasten to add that these last are much the more to +be feared.</p> + +<p>What can be expected, for instance, from a man who has passed a night in +debauchery?</p> + +<p>Morning finds him a weakling, good for nothing, and incapable of making +the slightest effort that calls for energy.</p> + +<p>He is lucky, indeed, if his excesses have no disastrous results that +will destroy his happiness or his good name.</p> + +<p>The fear of complications that may be the outcome of his gross pleasures +soon begins to haunt him and to usurp in his mind the place of nobler and +more useful impulses.</p> + +<p>As to his health, it is hardly necessary for us to insist upon the +disorder that such habits must necessarily produce.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88"></a>[pg +88]</span>The least misfortune that he can look for is a profound lassitude +and a desire for rest which is the enemy of all virile effort.</p> + +<p>The same thing is true of the man who indulges too freely in the +pleasures of the table. The work of digestion leaves him in an exhausted +condition and with a craving for repose that very soon results in a +complete lack of moral tone.</p> + +<p>Even supposing that his daily routine consists of two principal meals, +and of two others of less importance, it will be easily understood that the +man who loads down his stomach with such a large amount of continuous work +will not be very apt to adapt himself readily to matters of a wholly +different kind.</p> + +<p>To avoid pain, to sit inert, like a gorged animal, without attempting to +think, is the sole desire of the gluttons who are wearied by every repeated +excess.</p> + +<p>The same reasoning could be applied to the lazy, who suffer in health +from indulgence in their favorite vice.</p> + +<p>It can not be disputed that lack of exercise is the cause of ailments +that have a marked effect upon the moral character.</p> + +<p>Since physical laziness always goes hand in <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_89" id="Page_89"></a>[pg 89]</span>hand with mental apathy, it +follows that a dread of exerting oneself is always to be found coupled with +a hatred of being forced to think.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, essential for the man who would acquire poise to +fortify himself in advance against physical weaknesses which, by +undermining his will-power, will soon furnish him with the most plausible +reasons for losing interest in the steady application that is needed for +accomplishing his purpose.</p> + +<p>In achieving the conquest of poise certain physical exercises, practised +every day, and vigorously followed out, will be found of considerable +help.</p> + +<p>Before discussing the practical methods which are at once their +starting-point and their result, we will consider in turn the series of +exercises that must be performed each day in order to keep oneself in the +condition of physical well-being which allows of the accomplishment of +moral reform.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></a>[pg 90]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_III'></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<h3>FOUR SERIES OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES</h3> + + +<h4>FIRST SERIES--BREATHING</h4> + +<p>The point of departure for the cultivation of poise, like that of +everything else in fact, must be a well-ordered system of hygiene, far +removed from excess, and insisting only upon the points we have already +indicated.</p> + +<p>Without wishing to fall into the well-known error of so many modern +teachers, who assign an exaggerated importance to breathing exercises, we +must, nevertheless, admit the great rôle that respiration plays in +physical balance.</p> + +<p>We are now speaking, understand, of methodical breathing, we might +almost term it "reasoned" breathing.</p> + +<p>Every one, of course, breathes without being aware of it from the moment +of his birth to the hour of his death, but very few people are aware how to +increase the power and to enlarge the capacity of their lungs.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></a>[pg +91]</span>Nevertheless, upon these conditions it is that activity depends, +as well as the health and the energy that enables us to consecrate +ourselves to the pursuit of a definite aim.</p> + +<p>Without having to lay claim to a vast knowledge of medicine one can +discover that all repeated exercise tends to strengthen the organ that is +employed.</p> + +<p>Thus, well-directed and carefully practised breathing gives the heart a +stronger beat and facilitates the action of the lungs.</p> + +<p>From these arises a general feeling of physical well-being, which tends +to the preservation of good health and stores up the energy we need to +carry out our resolves.</p> + +<p>It is, then, advisable to devote several minutes every day to breathing +exercises, not merely automatic, but purposeful and under thorough +control.</p> + +<p>To accomplish this there are two methods.</p> + +<p>The first, very easy of comprehension, is to lie down on one's back and +to breathe deeply with the mouth closed and the nostrils dilated.</p> + +<p>As much air as can be held must be taken into the lungs, then the mouth +must be opened and the air must be allowed to escape gradually.</p> + +<p>During this operation one should pay particular <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></a>[pg 92]</span>attention to expanding the +walls of the chest, while flattening the stomach.</p> + +<p>About twenty deep respirations are required to accomplish the desired +effect.</p> + +<p>Little by little the lungs will dilate and one will unconsciously +increase the length of the inspiration and the slowness with which the air +is expelled.</p> + +<p>The second method consists in standing erect, with the head thrown +slightly back. The lungs should then be filled with air and one should +count mentally up to five or even ten before exhaling the air that has been +breathed in.</p> + +<p>It is advisable that when exhaling one should utter a continuous hum, +which must be absolutely free from trembling when one has practised it +properly.</p> + +<p>People who have practised this exercise have often stated that this +method of breathing has been of great help to them when much fatigued as +well as a first-class stimulus in moments when all their physical powers +were to be called into play.</p> + +<p>A well-known college professor has assured us that every day, before +giving his lectures, he makes use of this exercise. He claims that he has +thus gained a freedom of breathing the good <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a>[pg 93]</span>effects of which are manifest +in the facility with which he is able to give his lecture and in his +general feeling of ease. Rendered quite free from any suspicion of +nervousness, he feels that he is completely master of himself and in a fit +state of moral and physical health to employ the poise that is essential to +the man who has to instruct and to convince others.</p> + +<p>Deep breathing has the further advantage of developing the lungs, of +strengthening them, and at the same time of making their ordinary +functioning more regular.</p> + +<p>The man who practises this exercise will have much less propensity to +get out of breath. This will be a great assistance to those timid people +who are disconcerted by trifles and who, at the least little occurrence, +become so much affected by emotion that they experience a sensible +acceleration of the action of the heart.</p> + +<p>Palpitation can not take place without causing us physical discomfort, +and this condition is a serious stumbling-block in the way of the +acquisition of poise, for, in view of the great stress the man of timidity +lays upon the opinion of others, he will be apprehensive of giving them any +inkling of his distress, and yet his difficulty in breathing will be bound +to reveal it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></a>[pg +94]</span>The exercise of which we have been speaking should be performed +with care twice a day.</p> + +<p>For those whose leisure hours are few it can be accomplished without +losing any of the time which is already preempted by other things.</p> + +<p>It is merely a question of remembering it as soon as one wakes in the +morning and of never forgetting it before one falls asleep at night.</p> + +<p>The few minutes between the moment that one wakes and the time one gets +out of bed can be most profitably employed in this way.</p> + +<p>The same thing is true at night.</p> + +<p>If the occupations of the day and of the evening leave us no time to +devote to this exercise, we can always go through it in the moments between +retiring to bed and falling asleep.</p> + +<p>It will thus be seen that there is really no valid excuse for not +undertaking this practise, whose effects will certainly be most +beneficial.</p> + + +<h4>SECOND SERIES--TRAINING OF THE EYE</h4> + +<p>But our physical efforts must not stop here.</p> + +<p>It is more than necessary that we should make others feel the effects of +the mastery that we are slowly acquiring over ourselves.</p> + +<p>The eye is an invaluable assistant to the man who is studying to acquire +poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></a>[pg +95]</span>It is not necessary here, in connection with the magnetic +properties of the eye, to enter into a digression too extensive for the +scope of this book, but we can not neglect this one more-than-important +factor altogether.</p> + +<p>We are speaking now not only of the power in the gaze of others but of +that of our own eyes in relation to our associates.</p> + +<p>We must do our best, in fine, to develop the power of our gaze, while +studying to fortify ourselves against the influence brought to bear upon us +in this direction by others.</p> + +<p>One frequently notices, especially in the case of people who are timid, +a propensity to lose their powers of resistance with those who are able to +fix them with a steady stare.</p> + +<p>One has often seen people who lack will-power emerging completely upset +from the grueling of an interview in which they have admitted everything +that they had most fervently resolved never to disclose.</p> + +<p>A superior force has dominated them to such an extent that they have +found it impossible to conduct the discussion in the way they had planned +to do it.</p> + +<p>The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must, then, be on his +guard against betraying <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" +id="Page_96"></a>[pg 96]</span>himself under the magnetism of some one +else's gaze.</p> + +<p>At the same time he must cultivate his own powers of the eye, so that +he, too, can possess that ability against which, in others, he must be +careful to protect himself, and can utilize it for his own ends.</p> + +<p>The first principle is to avoid looking directly into the pupils of +one's interlocutor.</p> + +<p>This is the only way in which a beginner can avoid being affected by the +magnetism of the gaze.</p> + +<p>By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon +the supernatural.</p> + +<p>We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced +by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady +stare.</p> + +<p>Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are +quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, and +finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape from +the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to dictate +the words that they must utter.</p> + +<p>One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a>[pg 97]</span>to become swayed by the gaze +of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes +constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the face +of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the magnetic effect +of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his nose directly +between his eyes.</p> + +<p>When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, +for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one will +quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating.</p> + +<p>But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too +fixedly.</p> + +<p>It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic +point."</p> + +<p>In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and +particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking +steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked +effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will.</p> + +<p>Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the +possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the +ordinary applications of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></a>[pg +98]</span>One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first +and later on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that +the eye can remain fixt upon it without discomfort.</p> + +<p>For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant +object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness.</p> + +<p>We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a +matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer +than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise.</p> + +<p>One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One +should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be kept +steady and the pupils motionless.</p> + +<p>If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest +winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to +keep it up for more than a few seconds.</p> + +<p>After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the +time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least +four or five minutes of perfect fixity.</p> + +<p>In order to keep count of the time that is <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></a>[pg 99]</span>passing, as well as to keep +control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a way +that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every two +numbers.</p> + +<p>When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other +exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the head +slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from this +point for a moment.</p> + +<p>It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have +been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test.</p> + +<p>To do this, one must take up a position in front of a glass and fix +one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it to +the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep it +there immovably.</p> + +<p>At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose. +The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some +slight difficulty in breaking away from it.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a +predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once transferred +to the bridge of the nose.</p> + +<p>These exercises of the eye will be found particularly <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></a>[pg +100]</span>beneficial for people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as +aside from the advantages we have specified, they have the effect of +strengthening the will-power, which will be found to have materially gained +by this means.</p> + +<p>When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels +oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at +the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it +will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely +associated.</p> + +<p>One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, +to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of that +of other people.</p> + + +<h4>THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE</h4> + +<p>Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle +against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of +timidity.</p> + +<p>Let us make ourselves clear.</p> + +<p>Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious +embarrassment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></a>[pg +101]</span>Others fall into this embarrassment as the result of exhibitions +of clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of +renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which +they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in their +gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness.</p> + +<p>It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant +conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of +weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement.</p> + +<p>We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public.</p> + +<p>The most embarrassed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in +a fashion quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends.</p> + +<p>It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a +habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the +person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, the +awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame at his +own expense.</p> + +<p>In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it +can be arrived at, without <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" +id="Page_102"></a>[pg 102]</span>a shadow of doubt, if our advice is +faithfully followed out.</p> + +<p>It is an obvious truth that the repetition of any act diminishes the +emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance.</p> + +<p>Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of +movement and to extend its scope.</p> + +<p>Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in +bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to our +advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to devote +five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the acquirement of +an easy carriage from the frequent repetition of certain movements.</p> + +<p>For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as +possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by jerky +movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be every day +made a little more extended.</p> + +<p>While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect +arch.</p> + +<p>Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's +steps of even length and one's body erect.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></a>[pg +103]</span>One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed +on the pretext of lack of time.</p> + +<p>Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other +movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every day +with regularity and conscientiousness.</p> + +<p>The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out +while we are dressing.</p> + +<p>Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, +and repeat it in front of the glass while observing yourself carefully, to +be sure that your face shows no sign of embarrassment and that you do not +stammer or hesitate in any way.</p> + +<p>If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop +and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able to +enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of +hesitation.</p> + +<p>You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which +disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the assurance +that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying +attention to their own lack of composure.</p> + +<p>Finally, from the moment of rising, as well <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></a>[pg 104]</span>as when brushing his hair, +tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to +acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his +movements more supple and to invest them with grace.</p> + +<p>Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without +exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without +looking directly ahead of him.</p> + +<p>If this attitude is a difficult one for him when commencing, he can, at +the start, assign a certain time for observing this position, and gradually +increase its length, until he feels no further inconvenience.</p> + +<p>The feeling of obvious awkwardness is a large factor in the lack of +poise.</p> + +<p>It is then a matter of great importance to modify one's outward +carriage, while at the same time applying oneself to the conquest of one's +soul, so as to achieve the object not only of actually becoming a man who +must be reckoned with, but of impressing every one with what one is, and +what one is worth.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></a>[pg +105]</span><h4>FOURTH SERIES--SPEAKING EXERCISES</h4> + +<p>Is it really necessary to point out what a weight readiness of speech +has in bringing about the success of any undertaking?</p> + +<p>The man who can make a clever and forceful speech will always convince +his hearers, whatever may be the cause he pleads.</p> + +<p>Do we not see criminals acquitted every day solely because of the +eloquence of their lawyers?</p> + +<p>Have we not often been witnesses to the defeat of entirely honest people +who, from lack of ability to put up a good argument, allow themselves to be +convicted of negligence or of carelessness, if of nothing worse?</p> + +<p>Eloquence, or at least a certain facility of speech, is one of the gifts +of the man of poise.</p> + +<p>One reason for this is that his mind is always fixt upon the object he +wishes to attain by his arguments, which eliminates all wandering of the +thoughts.</p> + +<p>But there is another reason, a purely physical one. The emotions +experienced by the timid are quite unknown to him and he is not the victim +of any of the physical inhibitions which, in affecting the clearness of +their powers of speech, tend to reduce them to confusion.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></a>[pg +106]</span>Stammering, stuttering, and all the other ordinary disabilities +of the speaker, can almost without exception be attributed to timidity and +to the nervousness of which it is the cause.</p> + +<p>We shall see in the next chapter how these defects can be cured.</p> + +<p>In this, which is devoted specially to physical exercises, we will give +the mechanical means for overcoming these grave defects.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as the difficulties of utterance have been overcome, and +one is no longer in terror of falling into a laughable blunder, and thus +has no further reason to fear, when undertaking to speak, that one will be +made fun of because the object of disconcerting mockery, one's ideas will +cease to be dammed up by this haunting dread and can take shape in one's +brain just as fast as one expresses them.</p> + +<p>Clearness of conception will be reflected in that of what we say, and +poise will soon manifest itself in the manner of the man who no longer +feels himself to be the object of ill-natured laughter.</p> + +<p>One should set oneself then every morning to the performance of +exercises consisting of opening the mouth as wide as one possibly can and +then shutting it, to open it once more to its <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></a>[pg 107]</span>fullest extent, and so on +until one becomes fatigued.</p> + +<p>This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those +who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as "heavy jaw."</p> + +<p>One should next endeavor to pronounce every consonant with the utmost +distinctness.</p> + +<p>If certain consonants, as <i>s</i>, for example, or <i>ch</i>, are not +enunciated clearly, one should keep at it until one pronounces them +satisfactorily.</p> + +<p>Now one should construct short sentences containing as many difficult +consonants as possible.</p> + +<p>Next we should apply ourselves to declaiming longer sentences.</p> + +<p>It will be of help to have these sentences constitute an affirmation of +will-power and of poise.</p> + +<p>For example: "I can express myself with the greatest possible facility, +because timidity and embarrassment are complete strangers to me."</p> + +<p>Or again: "I am a master of the art of clothing my thoughts in elegant +and illuminating phrases, because stammering, stuttering, and all the other +misfortunes that oppress the timid, are to me unknown quantities."</p> + +<p>We can not insist too strongly upon the cumulative effect of words which +are constantly repeated. <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" +id="Page_108"></a>[pg 108]</span>It is a good thing to impress oneself with +forceful ideas that make for courage and for achievement.</p> + +<p>Distrust of self being the principal defect of the timid, the man who +would acquire poise must bend every effort to banishing it from his +thoughts.</p> + +<p>The repetition of these sentences, by building up conviction, will +undoubtedly end by creating a confidence in oneself that will at first be +hesitating, but will gradually acquire force. This is a great step in +advance on the road toward poise.</p> + +<p>We are discussing, it should be understood, only such cases of +difficulty in speaking as are directly traceable to an inherent +timidity.</p> + +<p>If the inability to speak clearly comes from a physical malformation it +should at once be brought to the attention of a specialist.</p> + +<p>It is well recognized that, in the majority of cases, those defects are +the consequences of timidity, when they are not its direct cause.</p> + +<p>In combating them, then, with every means at his disposal, the man who +desires to acquire poise will prove the logicality of his mind. It is a +well-known axiom that effects are produced by causes, and <i>vice +versa</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></a>[pg +109]</span>Thus, in the case we are considering, timidity either causes the +difficulty in speaking or is caused by it. In the first condition as well +as in the second, the disappearance of the one trouble depends upon the +eradication of the other.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></a>[pg +110]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_IV'></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<h3>PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR OBTAINING POISE</h3> + + +<h4>COMPOSURE</h4> + +<p>One of the essential conditions of acquiring poise is to familiarize +oneself with the habit of composure.</p> + +<p>Timid people know nothing of its advantages. They are always ill at +ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censures, and completely +upset by the idea of the least initiative.</p> + +<p>Their mania leads them to exaggerate the smallest incident. A trifle +puts them in a panic, and at the mere notion that strangers have perceived +this they become quite out of countenance and are possest by but one idea, +to avoid by flight the repetition of such unpleasant emotions.</p> + +<p>A quite useless attempt, for in whatever retirement people who lack +poise may live, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the +small embarrassments of every-day life, which, in their eyes, will soon +take on the guise of disasters.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111"></a>[pg +111]</span>Composure should, then, be the first achievement in the way of +self-conquest to be aimed at by the man who is desirous of attaining +poise.</p> + +<p>But, it will be objected, composure is a condition that is not familiar +to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of disposition. Every one +who wishes for it can not attain to it.</p> + +<p>This is an error. In order to possess composure, that is to say the +first step in the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the +proportions of things, it must be achieved, or developed, if we happen to +be naturally inclined thereto.</p> + +<p>To accomplish this, deep-breathing exercises are often recommended by +the philosophers of the new school.</p> + +<p>They advise those who are desirous of cultivating it to make no +resolution, to commit themselves to no impulsive action, without first +withdrawing into themselves and taking five or six deep breaths in the +manner we have described in the preceding chapter.</p> + +<p>This has the physical effect of reducing the speed with which the heart +beats and, as a result, of relaxing the mind and quieting one's nerves.</p> + +<p>During the two or three minutes thus employed one's enthusiasm wanes and +one's ideas <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112"></a>[pg +112]</span>take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning impulses no +longer fill the brain to the extent of inhibiting the entrance of sober +second thought.</p> + +<p>But this is only an adventitious means of prevention. We will now speak +of those which should become a matter of daily practise and whose frequent +repetition will lead to the poise we seek.</p> + +<p>Every one whose profession makes it necessary to cultivate his memory +recognizes the importance of studying at night. Phrases learned just before +going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They remain latent +in the brain and spring up anew in the morning without calling for much +trouble to revive them.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is well to retire to rest in a mental attitude of +deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky movement and constraining +oneself to lie perfectly quiet.</p> + +<p>At the same time one should keep on repeating these words:</p> + +<p>"I am composed. I propose to be composed. I am composed!"</p> + +<p>The constant reiteration of these words constitute a species of +suggestion, and peace will steal gradually into our souls and will permit +us <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113"></a>[pg +113]</span>to think quietly, without the risk of becoming entangled in +disordered fancies, or, what is far worse, falling a prey to vain and +unavailing regrets.</p> + +<p>Those who doubt the efficacy of this proceeding can be readily convinced +by proving to them the tremendous power of mere words.</p> + +<p>Certain of these electrify us. Such words as patriotism, revolt, blood, +always produce in us an emotion of enthusiasm or disgust.</p> + +<p>Others again are productive of color, and one must admit that the +constant repetition of an assurance ultimately leads to the creation of the +condition that it pictures to us.</p> + +<p>But to make the assertion to oneself, "I am composed," is not all that +is necessary. One must prove to oneself that one is not glossing over the +truth.</p> + +<p>The readiest means of accomplishing this, which is open to every one who +has any regular interests, is to mentally review the words and the actions +of the day, and to pass judgment upon them from the point of view of the +quality one is striving to attain.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114"></a>[pg +114]</span><h4>DAILY SELF-EXAMINATION</h4> + +<p>One should convince oneself as soon as possible of the truth of the fact +that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that firmness +of judgment that must be cultivated by the man who is in search of +poise.</p> + +<p>In order to reach this condition nothing is more easy than to pass in +mental review, every evening, the events that have marked the day that has +passed.</p> + +<p>In a word, one should strive to relive it, honestly confessing to +oneself all the mistakes that have crept into it.</p> + +<p>Every unfortunate speech should be recalled. One should formulate fresh +replies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so that +under similar circumstances we may not be again caught at a +disadvantage.</p> + +<p>The witty name of "doorstep repartee" has been given to these answers +which one makes as afterthoughts, with the idea of expressing the +embarrassment of the man who can find no arguments until he finds himself +beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, when one +is on the doorstep, that one suddenly recognizes what one ought to have +said, and finds the phrases that one should have used, <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115"></a>[pg 115]</span>the +exact retort that one might have hurled at one's antagonist.</p> + +<p>The man who has acquired poise should still accustom himself to practise +this force of mental gymnastics when making his daily self-examination.</p> + +<p>It will strengthen him for future contests by teaching him just how to +conduct himself.</p> + +<p>He must be always on his guard against one of the obsessions that too +often afflict the timid--the mania for extremes.</p> + +<p>The nature of a timid person is essentially artificial. His character is +unequal.</p> + +<p>He yearns for perfection, yet it is painful for him to meet it in +others. He suffers also because he has failed to acquire it himself.</p> + +<p>Sometimes he is his own most severe judge and then on other occasions he +is grossly indulgent to his faults.</p> + +<p>His isolation causes him to construct ideals that can not possibly be +realized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who +fall short of them, while making no effort to duplicate their +struggles.</p> + +<p>He makes the sad mistake, as we have seen in the chapter on effrontery, +of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry at his inability +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116"></a>[pg +116]</span>to make other people see them in the same light.</p> + +<p>He is, moreover, of a very trustful disposition and prone to the making +of confidences. But when he attempts them his infirmity prevents him and he +suffers under the inhibition.</p> + +<p>All his mental processes, as we have seen, tend toward hypochondria, +unless his sense of truth can be called into play.</p> + +<p>One can easily see then that this daily self-examination can be made +quite a difficult affair by all these conflicting tendencies.</p> + +<p>It is for this very reason that it is so necessary that this examination +should be rigorously undertaken every day and with all the good faith of +which we are possest.</p> + +<p>It is because they do not ignore their own weaknesses that the men +endowed with poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," +that is to say people who are masters of a power that renders them superior +to the rest of the world.</p> + + +<h4>RESOLUTION</h4> + +<p>After as minute and as honest an examination as we can make of our own +actions, it will be of great benefit to make definite resolutions for the +morrow.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117"></a>[pg +117]</span>This is a matter of great importance.</p> + +<p>The timid man, by seriously resolving to perform the actions that he +ought and by planning the accomplishment of some definite step, will +unconsciously strengthen his own will-power.</p> + +<p>He will increase it still more by making up his mind to leave no stone +unturned to conquer himself.</p> + +<p>For instance, he proposes to make a certain journey, or to pay a certain +call, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to +himself: "To-morrow I will go there! I will carry the thing through with +assurance!"</p> + +<p>Conceding the magnetic power of words, the acquisition of courage and of +confidence are necessary corollaries.</p> + +<p>Ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep +develop during the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow +present themselves to us quite naturally in the guise of a duty much less +hard to perform than we had imagined.</p> + +<p>In the case where such a resolution awakens an unpleasant emotion in the +hearts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that tend +to composure and should seek the aid of the means we have indicated for +attaining it.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118"></a>[pg +118]</span><h4>PREPARATION</h4> + +<p>In order to strengthen one's resolution it is a good thing every morning +to map out one's day, for the purpose of acquiring poise.</p> + +<p>All one's combinations should be worked out with this valuable conquest +in mind.</p> + +<p>After having committed oneself to a definite plan, one should analyze +each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into account all the +peculiarities that are likely to characterize them.</p> + +<p>If one is to have an interview, one should carefully prepare one's +introductory remarks, paying particular attention to one's line of action, +to one's method of presentation, and the words upon which one relies to +obtain an affirmative reply to one's request.</p> + +<p>One should take the precaution to have one's speeches mentally prepared +in advance, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and +convincing fashion that one does not find oneself in a state of +embarrassment fatal to recollecting them.</p> + +<p>It is better to make them as short as possible. One is then much less +likely to become confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119"></a>[pg +119]</span>or stuttering, which are always accompaniments of the fear of +being left without an idea of what to say next.</p> + +<p>Besides this, long speeches are always irritating, and it is a sign of +great lack of address to allow oneself to acquire the reputation of being a +bore.</p> + +<p>To make sure of one's facial expression and gestures it may be well to +repeat one's speeches in front of a mirror.</p> + +<p>One can then enact one's entry into the room in such a way as to foresee +even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of making a failure +at the start will no longer have a bad effect upon one.</p> + +<p>We have heard of a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his +situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused that +he forgot to leave his streaming umbrella in the outer office.</p> + +<p>It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being +able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at +perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, were +by no means to the benefit of the floor.</p> + +<p>His despair at the sight of the rivulets that, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_120" id="Page_120"></a>[pg 120]</span>running from his umbrella, +spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, prevented him from +thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. His native awkwardness +became all the worse at this and, utterly unable to proffer any but the +most confused excuses, he fled from the office of his chief leaving the +latter in a high state of irritation.</p> + +<p>He was replaced by some one else at the first opportunity, on the +pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left in +the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity.</p> + +<p>It should be added that this man was more than ordinarily intelligent +and that his successor was by no means his equal.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, absolutely necessary for those who are lacking in +presence of mind to accustom themselves to a species of rehearsal before +undertaking any really important step.</p> + +<p>Does this imply that they must think of nothing but weighty affairs and +neglect occasions for social meetings?</p> + +<p>By no means. To those who are distrustful of themselves every occasion +is a pretext for avoiding action.</p> + +<p>They should, therefore, take pains to seek every possible opportunity of +cultivating poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121"></a>[pg +121]</span>The entering of a theater; the walking into a drawing-room; the +acknowledging of a woman's bow; every one of these things should be for +them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily +self-examination leaves them satisfied with themselves, it will be a cause +of much encouragement to them.</p> + +<p>If, on the other hand, they have received a rebuff due to their lack of +poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for this, in order to +guard against such an occurrence in the future.</p> + +<p>A good preparatory exercise is to choose those of our friends whose +homes are unpretentious and who have few callers.</p> + +<p>Let us make up our minds to pay them a visit, which, in view of the +quietude of its associations, is not likely to awaken in us any grave +emotions.</p> + +<p>To carry this off well we should make all our preparations in +advance.</p> + +<p>One should say to oneself: "I will enter like this," while rehearsing +one's entrance, so as not to be caught napping at the outset.</p> + +<p>One should go on to plan one's opening remarks, an easy enough matter +since one will be speaking to people one knows very well.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122"></a>[pg +122]</span>One should then decide as to the length of one's call.</p> + +<p>One makes up one's mind, for instance, to get up and say good-by at the +end of a quarter of an hour.</p> + +<p>One should foresee the rejoinder of one's host, whether sincere or +merely polite, which will urge one to prolong one's visit, and for this +purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as work to do or a +business engagement, and one should prepare beforehand the phrase +explaining this.</p> + +<p>Finally, one should study to make one's good-bys gracefully.</p> + +<p>It might be as well, while we are at it, to prepare a subject of +conversation.</p> + +<p>Generally speaking, the events of the day form the topic of discussion +on such visits, whose good-will does not always prevent a certain amount of +boredom.</p> + +<p>It will be, then, an easy matter to prepare a few remarks on the +happenings of the day, on the plays that are running, or on the salient +occurrences of the week.</p> + +<p>It should be added that these remarks should express opinions of such a +nature as not to wound anybody's feelings.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123"></a>[pg +123]</span>The man who seeks the conquest of poise will not expose himself +to the risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be compelled +either to remain silent or to make an exhibition of himself.</p> + +<p>To do this would be to strike a serious blow at his resolution to +persevere.</p> + +<p>The one idea of the aspirant to poise should be above all things never +to risk a failure.</p> + +<p>Such a check will rarely be a partial one. It will have a marked effect +upon his proposed plan of educating his will-power by again giving rise to +that confusion which is always lurking in the background of the thoughts of +the timid and which is, moreover, the source of all their ills.</p> + +<p>Another wise precaution consists in foreseeing objections and in +preparing such answers as will enable one to refute them.</p> + +<p>Eloquence is one of the most useful achievements of poise; it is also +the gift that best aids one to acquire it.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, indispensable to train oneself to speak in a refined +and correct manner.</p> + +<p>The man who is sure of his oratorical powers will never be at a loss. He +will find conviction growing while he seeks to create it.</p> + +<p>We spoke in the preceding chapter of the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_124" id="Page_124"></a>[pg 124]</span>mechanical exercises +necessary to make speaking an easy matter.</p> + +<p>We must not forget, however, that before one can speak one has to +think.</p> + +<p>Words will spring of themselves to our lips the moment we have a +definite conception of the idea they serve to present. As a proof of this +contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, while +ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing themselves, become +suddenly clear, persuasive, and even eloquent when it comes to discussing a +subject in which they are deeply interested.</p> + +<p>The study of the art of speaking will become, then, for people of +timidity, over and above the mechanical exercises that we have prescribed +in a former chapter, a profound analysis of the subject upon which they are +likely to be called upon to express themselves.</p> + +<p>One should strive to describe things in short sentences as elegantly +phrased as possible.</p> + +<p>When the idea we wish to convey seems to be exprest in a confused +fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a change of phraseology that +will make it more concise and clear.</p> + +<p>But above all--above all, we must pull ourselves up short and begin over +again if any <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125"></a>[pg +125]</span>tendency to stammer, to hesitate, or to become confused, begins +to manifest itself.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as one feels more at one's ease one can seek to put in +practise all these special studies.</p> + +<p>Nothing is quite so disconcerting as the idea of stammering or stopping +short.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is imperative that one should begin all over again +the moment such an accident occurs.</p> + +<p>This is what prevents timid people from accomplishing anything. From the +moment of the first failure they become panic-stricken and can no longer go +on speaking connectedly.</p> + +<p>Those who would acquire poise must act quite otherwise.</p> + +<p>Instead of avoiding occasions of speaking in public, they should seek +for them. But first of all they must make some trials upon audiences who +are in sympathy with them.</p> + +<p>They should experiment upon their own families and should never fail to +enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can prepare the matter for a +short address or a friendly argument.</p> + +<p>If they find themselves stammering or panic-stricken, they must strive +to recall the phrase that caused the trouble and endeavor to repeat it very +emphatically without stuttering.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126"></a>[pg +126]</span>For the rest, it is always a dangerous thing to talk too fast. +Words that are pronounced more slowly are always much better articulated, +and in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in +talking that attacks those whose education in the direction of the +acquiring of poise is not yet complete.</p> + +<p>One of the most important exercises in the search for poise consists in +accustoming oneself to speak slowly and very distinctly.</p> + +<p>If one stammers in the least degree, especially if this fault is due to +nervousness, one should begin again at the word which caused the trouble, +pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one should +incorporate it in one or two sentences and should not cease to utter it +until one can enunciate it clearly and without any trouble.</p> + +<p>In order to combine theory with practise, one should seek opportunities +for entering public assemblies, striving to do so without awkwardness.</p> + +<p>One should choose the time when the audience is not yet fully arrived, +since, unless one is very sure of oneself, it is a risky matter to appear +upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most part +assembled. By this <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" +id="Page_127"></a>[pg 127]</span>means one is much more likely to be able +to emerge victorious from the ordeal of the stares of the curious.</p> + +<p>The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet +indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion but +as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he happens to +know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one the thing that +he ought to say.</p> + +<p>If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer +congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence of +mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He will +avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has fallen out +and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of deformities to a +man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while leaving him free to +exercise all his faculties, will give him the opportunity to remember a +thousand details, the performance as well as the omission of which will +create much sympathetic feeling toward him among the people whom he +meets.</p> + +<p>The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the +recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128"></a>[pg 128]</span>be made +upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of the +relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person to whom +he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not +infrequently an indication of poise.</p> + + +<h4>THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS</h4> + +<p>But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe +that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, that, +like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming them +into hurtful indecision.</p> + +<p>The mere thought, "<i>I will succeed</i>," is in itself a condition of +success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies +this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am +determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!"</p> + +<p>Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you +must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with your +regrets.</p> + +<p>Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from +this moment I propose <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" +id="Page_129"></a>[pg 129]</span>to think of it merely to remind myself of +the reasons why I failed.</p> + +<p>"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the +wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of +the same mistakes."</p> + +<p>Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate.</p> + +<p>The words "I have no luck" should be erased altogether from the +vocabulary of the man who proposes to acquire poise.</p> + +<p>It is the excuse in which weaklings and cowards indulge.</p> + +<p>Timid people are always complaining of the injustice of fate, without +stopping to think that they have themselves been the direct causes of their +own failures.</p> + +<p>The violet has often been quoted--and very improperly--as an example of +shrinking modesty which it would be well to imitate.</p> + +<p>It does not in the least trouble the phrase-makers and the followers of +the ideas that they have spread broadcast through the world that the violet +which hides timidly behind its sheltering leaves nearly always dies +unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. The type +that wins the admiration of the world <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_130" id="Page_130"></a>[pg 130]</span>is that, which, +disengaging itself from its leafy shield, springs up with a bound above its +green foliage just as men of poise rise triumphantly above the accidents +and the petty details which bury the timid under their heavy fronds.</p> + +<p>If one were minded to carry out the comparison properly, it is far more +exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted to +the shade in which they hide for their puny and abortive appearance.</p> + +<p>The timid have then no sort of excuse for complaining of their +ill-luck.</p> + +<p>To begin with, it is to their own defects solely that their obscurity is +due.</p> + +<p>Furthermore, by ceaselessly complaining, they gradually become absorbed +by these ideas of ill-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in their +detestation of effort and suggest to them the thought of attempting nothing +upon the absurd pretext that nothing they do can succeed.</p> + +<p>One must add here--and this is extremely important--that in acting in +this way they always manage to provoke the hostile forces that are dormant +in everything and that array themselves the more readily against such +people because of their lack of the resolution to combat them and the +energy to overcome them.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131"></a>[pg +131]</span>This is the reason why people who are gifted with poise find +themselves better qualified than others to succeed.</p> + +<p>Their faith is so beautiful and so convincing that it compels conviction +in others and seems to be able to dominate events.</p> + +<p>It is by no means an illusion to believe in the worth of this +confidence. People to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help to +others, their faith aiding and sustaining that of those who have resolved +to make an effort.</p> + +<p>However strong the soul of man may be, it is nevertheless subject to +hours of discouragement, to moments of despair, in which some comfort and +sympathy are needed.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution will recover from his failures the more easily the +more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosphere of +friendliness which will not allow his defeats to be made public.</p> + +<p>As mists are dispelled at the approach of the sun, the agony of doubt +will disappear in the genial warmth of the encouragement and the confidence +that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those around him, and a +sure faith will be given to him, the certain and faithful guide to the road +that leads onward to success.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132"></a>[pg +132]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_V'></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<h3>THE SUPREME ACHIEVEMENT</h3> + + +<p>One must be most careful not to credit oneself with the possession of +poise while one is unable to encounter reverses without loss of +serenity.</p> + +<p>Every setback of this sort must be judged without bias and the proper +measures must be taken to prevent its recurrence.</p> + +<p>Every exuberant gesture, as well as every constrained and abortive +movement, must be the object of redoubled attention.</p> + +<p>This is the stumbling-block that brings so many timid people to grief. +They imagine that they have achieved the conquest of poise, while they are +really only deceiving themselves by the idea that they are giving a good +illustration of it. They become the victims of a peculiar type of delusion +akin to that of the cowards who deliberately invite danger while trembling +in every limb.</p> + +<p>The very fear of being considered cowards causes them to plunge into it +blindly without <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" +id="Page_133"></a>[pg 133]</span>taking the trouble to reflect. They always +overshoot the mark, exposing themselves quite uselessly and achieving a +result that is entirely valueless to themselves or any one else.</p> + +<p>The man who is really master of himself will avoid such foolish +undertakings, retaining his powers for those that are likely to bear fruit, +whatever the quality of the success may be.</p> + +<p>It is an act of folly to deny the possibility of success because one is +discouraged at the very first obstacle.</p> + +<p>The greatest triumphs are never achieved without a struggle. The man who +obtains them does so only by virtue of the experience gained by repeated +efforts, none of which bore for him the fruit he desired.</p> + +<p>The better is merely a step along the road to the best.</p> + +<p>Perfection is, therefore, the result of many half successes.</p> + +<p>If one could hope to arrive at one stride at one's desired goal one's +efforts would be of no value, and mediocrity would very soon become the +sole characteristic of those who were possest by this idea. The man who has +had the wit to acquire poise will guard himself carefully from falling into +the error of the timid, who, haunted <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_134" id="Page_134"></a>[pg 134]</span>by an unappeased longing +for perfection, lose their courage at the first attempt.</p> + +<p>Does this imply that idealism must be banished from the thoughts of the +man of resolution?</p> + +<p>Not at all, if by the word ideal one understands what it actually +means.</p> + +<p>A false meaning has been given to this word which has warped it from its +original sense.</p> + +<p>The ideal is not, as many people seem to think, an impossible dream +indulged in only by poets, and that has no active basis of reality.</p> + +<p>Lazy people abuse this word, which to their minds allows them to indulge +without shame in idle dreams that foster their indolence.</p> + +<p>The timid drape it about themselves like a curtain, behind which they +take refuge and in whose shadow they conceal themselves, thinking by so +doing to keep the vanity which obsesses them from being wounded.</p> + +<p>Devotees of false ideals clothe them too often with the tinsel of fond +illusion, under which guise they make a pretense of worshiping them.</p> + +<p>The true ideal, that which every man can carry in his heart, is +something much more tangible and matter of fact.</p> + +<p>For one it is worldly success.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135"></a>[pg +135]</span>For another renown and glory.</p> + +<p>For men of action it is the end for which they strive.</p> + +<p>The ideal which each man should cultivate and strive after need by no +means be a narrow aim.</p> + +<p>It is an aspiration of which the loftiness is in no way affected by the +lowliness of the means employed to realize it.</p> + +<p>This word has too often been misused and exaggerated in the effort to +distort it from its philosophical meaning.</p> + +<p>In every walk of life, no matter how humble, it is possible to follow an +ideal.</p> + +<p>It is not an aim, to speak exactly, but still less is it a dream. It is +an aspiration toward something better that subordinates all our acts to +this one dominant desire.</p> + +<p>Every realization tends to the development of the ideal, which is +increased in beauty by each partial attainment.</p> + +<p>We have just said that the ideal of some men is the acquisition of a +fortune. It might be supposed, therefore, that such people, once they have +become rich, will abandon their aspirations for something more.</p> + +<p>The man who has this idea is very much in the wrong.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136"></a>[pg +136]</span>The state of being permanently wealthy is one that opens new +horizons, hitherto closed. The doing of good, charity, the desire to better +the condition of those who still have to struggle, these will constitute a +higher and a no less attractive ideal.</p> + +<p>This does not take into consideration the instinct, innate in every +heart--and that the genius of the race has made a part of every one of +us--the desire of progressing.</p> + +<p>It is this desire that forms the ideal of fathers of families, building +up the futures of their children, in whom they see not only their immediate +successors, but those who are to continue their race, which they wish to be +a strong and virile one, in obedience to the eternal desire for +perpetuating themselves that haunts the hearts of men.</p> + +<p>It is quite evident that each gain has no need of being complete to bear +fruit. The thing to do is to multiply it, to make something more of it, and +to take it home to ourselves, in order to achieve the ultimate result that +is termed success.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution appreciates this fact perfectly, rejoicing in +every victory and taking each defeat as a means for gaining experience +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137"></a>[pg +137]</span>that he will be able to use to his advantage when the occasion +arises.</p> + +<p>The man of timidity, on the other hand, haunted by this desire for +perfection, cut off by his very aloofness from all chance of learning the +lesson of events, will be so thoroughly discouraged at the first check, +that he will draw back from any similar experience, preferring to take +refuge in puerile grumbling against the contrariety of things in +general.</p> + +<p>This attitude of mind can not outlast a few minutes of sensible +reflection.</p> + +<p>We wish to convey by the use of this term the idea of a process of +thought quite free from those vague dreams which are the sure indications +of feebleness, reveries in which things appear to us in a guise which is by +no means that which they really possess.</p> + +<p>The main characteristic of this state of mind is to exaggerate one's +disappointments while ignoring one's moments of happiness.</p> + +<p>It approximates very closely to the old fable of the crumpled rose-leaf +breaking the rest of the sybarite on his couch of silk.</p> + +<p>He has no thought of taking satisfaction or pleasure in the luxury that +surrounds him. He does not congratulate himself on his wealth, nor <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138"></a>[pg 138]</span>upon +the comforts he possesses and that he values so highly. He thinks of +nothing but the little crumpled petal which causes him imaginary distress, +and all his faculties are absorbed by this petty detail.</p> + +<p>The man of resolve will pay no attention to such trifles as this. They +will touch him not at all unless they assume the rôle of the grain of +sand in the working-parts of a machine, which prevents it from running. He +is wise enough to be able to estimate a situation sensibly, taking account +of the drawbacks but at the same time realizing all the advantages that +accrue from it.</p> + +<p>At these advantages he will be pleased and will seek to get the maximum +of good out of each one of them. If he thinks of the disadvantages at all, +it will be merely in order to find a way to diminish them and to rob them +of their power to harm him.</p> + +<p>Such are the benefits of reflection and of concentration which, when +practised in a rational manner, will do more than anything else to help one +to the attainment of poise.</p> + +<p>Weak indulgence toward one's own failings will be rejected by the +strong. To know oneself thoroughly is a good way to improve oneself, and +the knowledge that one is not mistaken as <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_139" id="Page_139"></a>[pg 139]</span>to one's actual merits is +of considerable help in acquiring poise.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that the habit of daily self-examination, that we +recommended in the preceding chapter, develops, in the man who submits +himself to it, faculties of judgment so keen that it is an easy matter for +him to become his own educator in the path to betterment.</p> + +<p>One great disadvantage of lack of proper concentration is that it gives +to the subject one is anxious to study an importance greater than it really +has.</p> + +<p>Passion is too often an accompaniment of this form of reflection, +emotions are aroused, and the nerves become active factors in distorting +the real meanings and value of the things we are considering.</p> + +<p>The remedy in this case is a very simple one. An effort of will, will +readily banish the subject which is causing us too profound emotion by the +simple process of turning the thoughts to some subject that will cause us +no such disturbances.</p> + +<p>Later on, when the emotions of the moment have passed, one can return to +the former train of thought, forcing oneself to examine it with +calmness.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140"></a>[pg +140]</span>Some amount of practise will be needed to acquire this mastery +of one's thoughts, the parent of poise, which is nothing more than courage +based upon solid reason.</p> + +<p>It may happen that the desire to follow a line of thought that causes us +excessive emotion may lead to the inroad of a horde of secondary ideas, +which press one upon the other without any perceptible continuity, carrying +with them neither conviction nor illumination.</p> + +<p>Reveries of this sort are dangerous enemies of poise. They lead one +nowhere, and create in us habits which are not controlled by reason or +common sense.</p> + +<p>If such thoughts should assail us, the sole means of avoiding injury +from them is to repulse them instantly, the moment one becomes conscious of +them, and to banish the chaos of scattered fancies by devoting one's whole +mind to a single dominant thought that should be associated with the +determination to obtain the mastery over oneself.</p> + +<p>We have already suggested to the timid the advantage of foreseeing the +objections that are likely to be made to what they may say. The mere fact +that they have already formulated a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_141" id="Page_141"></a>[pg 141]</span>mental answer will be a +great assistance to the making of a successful retort.</p> + +<p>To avoid still further risks of being confronted by a contradiction that +may put them at a loss they will do well to adopt the following plan.</p> + +<p>Let them put themselves in the place of the person to whom they plan to +speak and then ask themselves if, under these circumstances, they will not +find some objection to offer to the proposition concerned.</p> + +<p>If they discover by this means that, in his place, they would be likely +to find such and such difficulties, it must be with this fact in their +minds that they devote themselves to the better preparation of their +arguments or, if necessary, to modifying the force if not the content of +the reasoning upon which they rely to carry conviction.</p> + +<p>These objections, as we have already advised, should be uttered aloud, +so that we may the better perceive their logic, and also to allow of our +repeating them a second time, the ability to accomplish which will be a +great encouragement to us.</p> + +<p>There is no reason, in fact, for believing that we can not repeat on the +morrow, just as perfectly as we have exprest it to-day, a statement <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142"></a>[pg 142]</span>that we +have made with clearness both of reasoning and of diction.</p> + +<p>Contact with men and with affairs should be sought after by the aspirant +for poise.</p> + +<p>He will be the gainer by watching the destruction of his exaggerated +ideas and his false conceptions, which have all arisen from solitary +thought.</p> + +<p>An essential point is to become accustomed to the necessity for +action.</p> + +<p>Far from avoiding this, one should seize every occasion to utilize it to +one's advantage.</p> + +<p>The determined student should even create opportunity for so doing, +which, in forcing him to break down his reserve, will make it necessary for +him to come to definite decisions and to carry them out.</p> + +<p>Every chance to exhibit real and honest activity should be seized by +him.</p> + +<p>Between two decisions, equally favorable to him, of which one will leave +him to his peaceful retirement and the other will involve active measures, +he should not hesitate for a moment.</p> + +<p>He will make choice of that which will compel him to exhibit physical +activity.</p> + +<p>It is, however, important that manifestation of purposeless energy +should be rigidly represt. <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" +id="Page_143"></a>[pg 143]</span>They are always harmful to one's +equilibrium and to the qualities needed for the attainment of poise.</p> + +<p>One should never forget the well-known proverb:</p> + +<p>"Speech is silver, but silence is golden."</p> + +<p>Silence, in a vast number of instances, is the indisputable proof of the +empire that one has over oneself.</p> + +<p>To be able to keep quiet and to close one's lips until the moment when +reflection has enabled us to discipline our too-violent emotions, is a +quality that belongs only to those who have obtained the mastery over +themselves.</p> + +<p>The weak become excited, indulge in protests, and expend themselves in +angry denunciations that use up the energy they should retain for active +measures.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution is most careful not to allow it to be known at +what point he has been wounded. He keeps silence and reflects.</p> + +<p>Resolves form within his mind and, when he at last is ready to speak, it +is to utter some firm decision or to put forward arguments that are +unanswerable.</p> + +<p>To tell the truth, those who instantly and noisily voice their +antagonisms, who, under the <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" +id="Page_144"></a>[pg 144]</span>sting of a hurt to their vanity indulge in +threats of violence, are actually dangerous.</p> + +<p>Their accusations, dictated by anger and heightened by the sense of +their own inferiority, are always characterized by impotence.</p> + +<p>They make people smile, provoke perhaps a little pity, but never cause +any fear.</p> + +<p>They are like the toy guns of children, which have the air of being most +deadly weapons, but which are constructed of such fragile materials that a +vigorous blow will cause them to fall to pieces.</p> + +<p>The self-control of the man of resolution in the face of insult and +provocation is far more impressive than these idle threats.</p> + +<p>His silence is ominous. It is a sort of mechanical calm which produces +decisions from which all passion is excluded.</p> + +<p>His answers, well thought out and adapted exactly to the circumstances +of the case, impress one by their coldness and by their tone of finality. +His words are always followed by deeds, and are the more weighty for the +fact that one knows that they are merely preliminary to the actions that +they foretell.</p> + +<p>This is one of the marked advantages of those who possess poise, one of +various methods of <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" +id="Page_145"></a>[pg 145]</span>conquering and dominating the minds of +others.</p> + +<p>There are other strong points belonging to those who cultivate poise, +which, judiciously employed, unite in giving them an incontestable +superiority over the majority of the people they meet.</p> + +<p>The man of poise will not be overgay or too boisterous. Still less will +he be taciturn. Moody people are nearly always those who are convinced of +their own lack of ability and quite certain that the rest of the world is +in a conspiracy to make them miserable.</p> + +<p>They lack all pride and make no bones about admitting themselves to be +defeated.</p> + +<p>These, we must admit, are rather difficult conditions in which to effect +anything worth while.</p> + +<p>In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," M.B. Dangennes tells us that one day +a party of men agreed to undertake a journey, the object of which was to +attain a most wonderful country.</p> + +<p>"There were a great many of them at the start, but only a few days had +passed when their ranks became sensibly depleted.</p> + +<p>"Certain members of the party, the timid ones, who were encumbered with +a load of useless scruples, soon succumbed to the weight of their +burdens.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146"></a>[pg +146]</span>"Others, the fearful ones, became panic-stricken at the +difficulties they encountered in battling with the earlier stages of the +journey.</p> + +<p>"The modest, after several days' marching, fell to the rear, from fear +of attracting too much attention, and were very soon lost sight of.</p> + +<p>"The careless, wearied by their efforts, took to resting in the ditches +along the road, and ate all their store of provisions for the journey +without worrying at all about the time when they might be hungry.</p> + +<p>"The braggarts and the boasters, after exhibiting a temporary +enthusiasm, gave out at the first dangers encountered on the march.</p> + +<p>"The curious, instead of striving to maintain the courage of those who +walked at the head of the column, kept leading them into difficulties, in +which many of the foremost were lost.</p> + +<p>"The rash were greatly reduced in numbers by their own +foolhardiness.</p> + +<p>"The final result was that only a handful of men, after many weary days +and nights, reached the Eden that they had set out to attain.</p> + +<p>"These men were disciples of energy, those to whom this virtue had given +courage, ambition, the self-control and the self-mastery needed to vanquish +and overcome the perils of the way; <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_147" id="Page_147"></a>[pg 147]</span>those who, by their cool +and courageous bearing, had been able to impress upon their companions, now +become their disciples, the indomitable hardihood with which they were +themselves filled."</p> + +<p>We see in this fable how all the qualities of poise worked together for +the accomplishment of the destined end.</p> + +<p>First courage, which must not be confounded either with rashness or with +effrontery.</p> + +<p>Courage, the perfect manifestation of confidence in oneself.</p> + +<p>This quality is at the bottom of all great enterprises, of which all the +risks, however, have been carefully considered in advance.</p> + +<p>The man of courage does not deceive himself as to the dangers of the +deeds he has determined to perform. He accepts them bravely. He has +foreseen them all, and he knows how to act in order to turn them to his own +advantage.</p> + +<p>The coolness characteristic of all men of poise gives them the power of +estimating wisely how things are likely to turn out.</p> + +<p>They do not fail to appreciate the importance of certain circumstances, +to realize their bearing, and to admit the dangers to which they may give +rise. Thus they are ready for the fray and <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_148" id="Page_148"></a>[pg 148]</span>are armed at all points +for a well-considered defense.</p> + +<p>Shame on the superficial people who close their eyes in order not to see +the obstacles that their own lack of foresight has prevented them from +anticipating.</p> + +<p>Let us press back the timid; declare war on the boasters; show our +contempt for the inveterately modest (who are only so to flatter their own +vanity); express our hatred of the envious, who are always incapable; +distrust the slothful; and arm ourselves with a justifiable pride, which, +by imparting to us a sense of our merits, will enable us to acquire poise, +true index of those who are legitimately sure of themselves and are +conscious of their sterling worth.</p> + +<p>But, above all, let us raise in our inmost hearts a temple to reason, +the author of that quiet confidence that makes success a certainty.</p> + +<p>This is the work of the man who has achieved the conquest of poise. It +is the one particular evidence of this priceless quality.</p> + +<p>Poise, by inspiring its possessor with a belief in his merits, that is +productive of good resolutions, enables him to employ in relation to +himself the fine art of absolutely sincere reasoning.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149"></a>[pg +149]</span>There are, as is well-known, many ways of looking at things.</p> + +<p>Every thing has several sides and, in accordance with the angle at which +we examine it, seems to us more or less favorable.</p> + +<p>The superficial man only sees things, and only <i>wants</i> to see them, +from the viewpoint of his own desires.</p> + +<p>To the morose man all their contours appear distorted.</p> + +<p>The optimist, on the contrary, carefully changes their outlines.</p> + +<p>Only to the man who makes a practise of rational thinking comes a true +vision of both the good and the bad that exist in everything.</p> + +<p>This science of reasoning is the base of all deductive processes, that, +in strengthening the judgment, aid in the formation of poise.</p> + +<p>Without reason the scaffolding of the most splendid resolves falls to +the ground.</p> + +<p>Without reason we wander aimlessly in bypaths instead of following the +broad highway.</p> + +<p>Without reason, in short, we become guilty of injustice, not only toward +others, but still more toward ourselves, since we can not form a correct +estimate of our own characters.</p> + +<p>It is reason which enables us to choose the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_150" id="Page_150"></a>[pg 150]</span>happy mean that leaves the +country of fear to reach the goal of reserve, and follows it to the extreme +limit of poise without ever encroaching upon the territory of +effrontery.</p> + +<p>It is poise alone that enables us to communicate to others the qualities +which we possess.</p> + +<p>This has ever been the gift of men of genius, of those who could enforce +their doctrines and impose them upon others by the sheer strength of their +attitude and the way in which they analyzed and reasoned out all their +principles.</p> + +<p>What conviction can he hope to carry to his hearers who is not himself +persuaded of the truth of the theories he is presenting?</p> + +<p>This is the condition of those timid people who give their advice in the +same tone they would use to ask it.</p> + +<p>For this reason they never become expert. They rarely ever taste of +success and usually sink into a state of discontent and envy.</p> + +<p>This last fault is nearly always indulged in by the timid, whom it +soothes, not simply because of its maliciousness, but because envy seems to +them to condone their own inertia by giving them an excuse for their lack +of action.</p> + +<p>For people of mediocre mentality to deny the intelligence of others is +to bring them down <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" +id="Page_151"></a>[pg 151]</span>into their own plane and saves them the +effort of climbing to that of their superiors.</p> + +<p>And since lack of sincerity toward themselves is always one of the +faults of those who are wanting in poise, they can not help feeling a +sentiment of jealousy toward those who have succeeded where they themselves +have failed.</p> + +<p>Instead of doing justice without bitterness to the superiority of others +by a determination to imitate it, they take the simpler course of envying +the good fortune of their neighbors and attribute it all to luck.</p> + +<p>Whenever you hear any one expatiating upon what he calls the luck of +some one else, you may be sure that he is a person entirely deficient in +those qualities which could attract what he calls luck, but what is really, +in the majority of cases, merely the result of hard work based upon a +reasoned poise.</p> + +<p>Here we may add that this quality is often the key to good fortune, +since it permits the head of a family, who is possest of it to establish +about him sympathetic currents, based upon the confidence that he +inspires.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of common knowledge how courage communicates itself from +one to another.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152"></a>[pg +152]</span>The man who dreads the idea of doing something will attempt it +without hesitation if he finds himself supported by some one who seems to +have no doubt as to the happy outcome of the enterprise.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, most essential, in order to exercise a beneficent +influence upon his household, that the head of a family should be possest +of poise, which will awaken in them a sense of protection, while at the +same time making them aware of a kindly authority.</p> + +<p>It must not be inferred from this that every head of a family should +pose as being infallible.</p> + +<p>This would be a most foolish proceeding on his part. It would often +happen that circumstances, by proving his predictions untrue, would destroy +the faith in him that those in his household must possess.</p> + +<p>It is only the presumptuous and the egotistical who pride themselves on +their infallibility, as we have pointed out at length in preceding +chapters.</p> + +<p>The man of real poise will be more than careful not to pose as a +prophet, still less as an autocrat.</p> + +<p>He will study to establish about him an atmosphere of confidence suited +to the development <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" +id="Page_153"></a>[pg 153]</span>and the strengthening of the bonds which +unite him to those of his household.</p> + +<p>Nothing is more touching than the blind faith shown by some children +toward their parents.</p> + +<p>People of timidity will never arouse a feeling of this sort.</p> + +<p>However real the affection of children may be for such parents, there +will always be mingled with it a modicum of indulgent pity, caused by their +distrust, if the parents happen to be people of timidity, of what seem to +them mediocre abilities.</p> + +<p>They will feel themselves more willingly attracted toward a stranger, if +his attitude toward life appears to be one that may support and assist +their weakness. Their affection for their parents will be in no way +diminished, but they will cease to regard them as being vitally necessary +to the harmony of their existence.</p> + +<p>This lack of trust that timidity occasions can result in very serious +misfortunes.</p> + +<p>In driving a child who seeks for some firm guidance to appeal to others +than his natural protectors, there is always the risk of his following a +method of education that is basically opposed to all the traditions of the +family.</p> + +<p>How many children are thrown in this way <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_154" id="Page_154"></a>[pg 154]</span>upon the tender mercies of +a teacher whose views of life, albeit perfectly honorable, are quite +opposed to the plans of the parents.</p> + +<p>Such people, instead of complaining of the conduct of the teacher and +crying out about the leading astray of their child, would do better to +question themselves and to ask their own hearts whether their children have +ever found in them the protection that is being given them by others.</p> + +<p>We do not want to overwork the old fable of the oak and the ivy. +Nevertheless, it is to the point to remark that this plant attaches itself +to none but the most solid trunks, disdaining the Weaker saplings that will +bend beneath its weight and will, after a little while, force it to return +to the ground instead of helping it to climb into the air.</p> + +<p>The man endowed with poise plays in his own family the rôle of the +oak which lends the strength of its trunk as an aid to weakness, covering +with the shadow of its branches the feeble efforts that too hot a sun or +too violent a storm might easily bring to nothing.</p> + +<p>And if the storm should break it is the crest that it presents with +pride to the fury of the elements that will keep it from being itself +destroyed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155"></a>[pg +155]</span>It must also be remembered that the instinct of the Ego +flourishes in every one of us, often quite unconsciously, but always with +sufficient force to make it certain that this ego will be developed in the +direction in which it sees chances of support.</p> + +<p>We are not speaking here of mere egoism, which is a species of +acknowledgment of weakness that very young children are incapable of making +to themselves, but which those who are older will try to avoid.</p> + +<p>But there is no one, even among the most strong, who has not felt at +some time in his life the joy of finding counsel, moral support, or +protection, if only in the form of a hearty and energetic agreement with +his ideas.</p> + +<p>One can not wonder, therefore, that people of poise are able to draw to +themselves sympathies and devotion of which the timid are entirely +ignorant.</p> + +<p>We should add that poise, in giving one ease, imparts to the slightest +gesture a fittingness that constitutes a special grace, that one can not +always define, but where appearance can never be mistaken.</p> + +<p>It might be termed distinction.</p> + +<p>People of poise, whether they be homely or <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_156" id="Page_156"></a>[pg 156]</span>handsome, insignificant or +imposing, sickly or radiating health, all possess this enviable gift in a +marked degree.</p> + +<p>Distinction is the parent of victory.</p> + +<p>It conquers, for those who possess it, the greater part of their +adversaries, who lay down their arms without dreaming of offering +battle.</p> + +<p>Distinction impresses every one, both those who are deprived of it and +those who are possest of it.</p> + +<p>It is the most direct means of influencing others in the direction one +wishes them to take.</p> + +<p>It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no +harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power.</p> + +<p>Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when +it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate in +this book.</p> + +<p>False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those +mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler.</p> + +<p>At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like +his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away little +by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an empty dream. +This is invariably <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" +id="Page_157"></a>[pg 157]</span>what happens when what appears to be +distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff.</p> + +<p>The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon +arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the +dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus +made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to forgive +him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with the hurt +to their wounded pride.</p> + +<p>Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes +from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve it +untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by +disappointments they may cause in others.</p> + +<p>If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness +or lack of character.</p> + +<p>Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their +energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very defeats +of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool determination.</p> + +<p>The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, +while the recollection <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" +id="Page_158"></a>[pg 158]</span>of past reverses makes them more wary and +more keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events.</p> + +<p>Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will +renew the confidence of all their friends.</p> + +<p>They are a power, and under this title they receive the homage of all. +Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay +their own weaknesses upon their strength.</p> + +<p>Their assistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of +being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have +near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat.</p> + +<p>Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when +its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of +her hand, it steps out with confidence.</p> + +<p>If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and +overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which he +really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down.</p> + +<p>Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of +spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159"></a>[pg +159]</span>similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fortitude +that approximates to theirs.</p> + +<p>They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls +with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, +misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will combat +it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to beat a +retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who will yield to +it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession of him without a +murmur.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13877 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4bff410 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13877 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13877) diff --git a/old/13877-8.txt b/old/13877-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0ef3de5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13877-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4183 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Poise: How to Attain It, by D. Starke, +Translated by Francis Medhurst + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Poise: How to Attain It + +Author: D. Starke + +Release Date: October 26, 2004 [eBook #13877] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT*** + + +Mental Efficiency Series + +POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT + +by + +D. STARKE + +Translated by Francis Medhurst, D.Litt. + +1916 + + + + + + + +"POISE IS A POWER DERIVED FROM THE MASTERY OF SELF" + + + + +PREFACE + + +All efforts directed toward the correcting of temperamental or mental +blemishes or defects and nervous conditions are of benefit to humanity. +In producing this book the Author's purpose was to help mankind to +overcome these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental +development, and hinder personal advancement and general progress. The +aim of the Publishers in issuing this translation is to put into the +hands of those who wish to overcome their failings, become masters of +themselves, and command the attention and respect of others, a work that +has been thoroughly tested abroad and one that will be found of +exceptional service in attaining the end in view--the securing of a +perfect balance. + +This book is written in two parts. The first points to the need of Poise +in daily life, indicates the obstacles to be overcome, and discusses the +effects of Poise on personal efficiency. The second instructs the reader +how to secure that evenness of temperament which is the chief +characteristic of Poise. It includes, in addition, a series of practical +physical exercises to be used in acquiring Poise. + +If such a work as this is to do good, if the reader really wishes to +benefit by the advice that it gives him, it must be read thoughtfully +and diligently, not fitfully and forgetfully, and the reader most +steadfastly keep before him the maxim of the Author--"Poise is a power +derived from the Mastery of Self." + +THE PUBLISHERS. + + + + +CONTENTS + +Preface + +PART ONE +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + I. The Need of Poise in Life + II. The Enemies of Poise + III. War on Timidity + +PART TWO +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + I. Modesty and Effrontery Contrasted + II. Physical Exercises to Acquire Poise + III. Four Series of Physical Exercises + IV. Practical Exercises for Obtaining Poise + V. The Supreme Achievement + + + + +PART I + +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + +CHAPTER I + +THE NEED OF POISE IN LIFE + + +Lack of poise has always been an obstacle to those who are imbued with +the desire to succeed. + +In every age the awkwardness born of timidity has served to keep back +those who suffered from it, but this defect has never been so great a +drawback as in the life of to-day. + +The celebrated phrase of the ancient Roman writer who said, "Fortune +smiles on the brave," could very well serve as our motto nowadays, with +this slight alteration: "Fortune smiles on those who are possest of +poise." + +At this point let us attempt an exact definition of poise. + +It is a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, +in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really +capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them. + +It is not a quality wholly simple. On the contrary, it is a composite of +many others all of which take part in the molding of that totality which +bears the name of poise. + +It may be well to pass in review the principal qualities of which it is +composed, that one may characterize as follows: + +Will. + +Reason. + +Knowledge of one's own value. + +Correctness of judgment. + +Sincerity toward oneself. + +The power of resisting the appeals of self-love. + +Contempt of adverse criticism. + +Pride that is free from vanity. + +A definite and clearly conceived ambition. + +Will, as is well known, is the pivot of all our resolutions, whether the +question for the moment be how to form them or how to keep them when +formed. + +A man without will-power is a straw, blown about by every wind and +carried, whether he will or no, into situations in which he has no valid +reason for finding himself. + +Without the will-power which enables us to take a firm hold of ourselves +and to get a grip upon our impressions, they will remain vague and +nebulous without presenting to us characters of sufficient definiteness +to enable us to direct them readily into the proper channels. + +It is will-power which gives us the force to maintain a resolution which +will lead us to the hoped-for goal of success. + +It is will-power also which enables us to correct the faults which stand +in the way of the acquiring of poise. + +We are not now speaking of those idle fancies which are no more than +manifestations of nervousness. We have in mind rather that controlled +and enduring purpose which arms the heart against the assaults of the +emotions by giving it the strength to overcome them. + +There are many cases even in which will-power has led to their entire +suppression. + +This happens more particularly in the case of those artificial emotions +that the man of resolution ignores completely, but which cause agony to +the timid who do not know how to escape them, and exaggerate them to +excess. + +This abnormal development of their personalities is the peculiarity of +the timid, which their fitful efforts of will only heighten, alienating +from them the sympathy which might be of assistance to them. + +They take refuge in a species of mischievous and fruitless activity, +leaving the field open to the development of all sorts of imaginary ills +that argument does not serve to combat. + +Their ego, whose importance is in no way counterbalanced by their +appreciation of the friends they keep at a distance, fills their entire +existence to such an extent that they have no doubt whatever that, when +they are in public, every eye is, of necessity, fixt upon them. + +Their negative will leaves them at the mercy of every sort of emotion, +which, in arousing in them the necessity of a reaction they feel +themselves powerless to realize, reduces them to a state of inferiority +that, when it becomes known, is the source of grave embarrassment to +them. + +The power of will which sustains those who wish to acquire the habit of +poise is, then, the capacity to accomplish acts solely because one has +the ardent desire to achieve them. + +We are now speaking, understand, neither of extreme heroism or of +impossibilities. + +Another point presents itself here. Willpower, in order to preserve its +energy, must be sustained and fixt. At this price alone can we achieve +poise. We must, therefore, thoroughly saturate ourselves with this +principle: Reasoning-power is an essential element in the upbuilding of +poise. + +It is reasoning-power which teaches us to distinguish between those +things that we must be careful to avoid and those which are part and +parcel of the domain of exaggeration and fantasy. + +It is also by means of reasoning that we arrive at the proper +appreciation of the just mean that we must observe. It is by its aid +that we are enabled to disentangle those impulses that will prove +profitable from a chaos of useless risks. + +It is always by virtue of deductions depending upon reason that we are +able to adopt a resolution or to maintain an attitude that we believe to +be correct, while preserving our self-possession under circumstances in +which persons of a timorous disposition would certainly lose their +heads. + +Those who know how to reason never expose themselves to the possibility +of being unhorsed by fate for lack of good reasons for strengthening +themselves in their chosen course. + +They adhere, in the very heat of discussion and in spite of the +onslaughts of destiny, to the line of conduct that sage reflection has +taught them to adopt and are more than careful never to abandon it +except for the most valid reasons. + +They never stray into the byways in which the timid and the shrinking +constantly wander without sufficient thought of the goal toward which +they are journeying. + +They know where they are going, and if, now and again, they ask for +information about the road that remains to be traveled, it is with no +intention of changing their course, but simply so as not to miss the +short cuts and to lose nothing of the pleasures of the scenes through +which they may pass. + +Reasoning-power is the trade-mark of superior minds. Mediocre natures +take no interest in it and, as we have seen, the timid are incapable of +it, except in so far as it follows the beaten path. + +True poise never is guided by anything but reason. Certain risks can +never be undertaken save after ripe deliberation. + +Confusion is never the fate of those who are resolved on a definite line +of conduct. + +Such people are careful to plumb the questions with which they have to +grapple and to weigh the inconveniences and the advantages of the acts +they have the desire to accomplish. + +When their decision is once made, however, nothing will prevent the +completion of the work they have begun. Such people are ripe for +success. + +The knowledge of one's real worth is a quality doubly precious when +contrasted with the fact that the majority of people are more than +indulgent to their own failings. Of many of them it may be said, in the +words of the Arab proverb, couched in the language of imagery: "This man +has no money, but in his pocket everything turns to gold." + +This saying, divested of the language of hyperbole, means simply that +the man in question is so obsessed with the greatness of his own +personal value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that +concerns him. + +This condition is a much more common one than one might at first +believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, +seems to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects +us, a matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we +find ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the +victims of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward +other people under similar circumstances. + +The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that +adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism. + +It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to +undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's +abilities. + +To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault that is +far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run than +the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's +own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all +unsuccess. + +It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another +quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of +mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake +our tasks without boasting and without hesitation. + +Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the +merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, +and of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry +out to its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring +accidents, precisely what we have foreseen. + +This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating +ourselves or for lacking poise? + +Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter +of insight. + +They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and +not upon facts. + +If the perception of a man of resolution causes him to understand at +once the emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, +always ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into +an appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a +project that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of +the arguments advanced. + +Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never +even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it +may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all +his ideas. + +The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey +for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick +disillusionment. + +A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not +wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not. + +He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he +imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic +gesture. + +He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if +the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and +antagonistic. + +How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed with +poise! + +His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he +jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive +protestations as well as when confronting indications of aimless +antagonism. + +How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and +to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it? + +Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound judgment. + +Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor +to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, +and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about +the work of correcting them. + +It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in +which one is taking one's risks. + +The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be +likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts. + +The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, +first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of +avoiding the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he +passes. + +Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and +he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths +which he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes. + +These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we +sometimes find in the timid. + +Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they +are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their +virtues and so fall an easy prey to the designer and the sharper. + +Their very carelessness in estimating other people becomes the +foundation of an involuntary partiality the moment they are called upon +to judge their own actions. + +It is not deliberate self-indulgence that drives them to act in this +way, but their inexperience, which gives rise in them to the desire for +perfection, and this necessarily provokes, simultaneously with the +despair caused by their failure to attain it, a fear of having this +failure remarked or commented upon. + +The man who possesses poise is too familiar with the realities of life +not to be aware that the search for such an ideal is a Utopian dream. + +But he is also aware that, if actual perfection does not exist, it is +the bounden duty of man to struggle always in pursuit of good and to +show appreciation of it in whatsoever form it may manifest itself. + +Sincerity toward himself thus becomes for him an easy matter indeed, and +for the very reason that his poise leaves him absolutely free to form a +correct estimate of others. + +Serious self-examination throws a clear light for him upon those merits +of which he has a right to be proud, while revealing to him at the same +time the faults to which he is most likely to yield. + +The habit of estimating himself and his own qualities without fear or +favor gives him great facility for gaging the motives of other people. + +He thus avoids the pitfalls that a biased viewpoint spreads before the +feet of the foolish, and at the same time represses that feeling of +vanity which might lead him to believe that he is altogether too clever +to fall into them. + +He watches himself constantly to avoid getting into the bypaths which he +sees with sorrow that others are following, and does not fail to +estimate accurately the value of the victories he achieves over himself +as well as over the duplicity of most of the people who surround him. + +And this superiority is what makes certain his poise. More difficult +perhaps than anything else to acquire is the power to resist the appeals +of one's own self-love. + +We will explain this later at greater length. Lack of poise is often due +to nothing so much as an excess of vanity which throws one back upon +oneself from the fear of not being able to shine in the front rank. + +Such a person does not say to himself: "I will conquer this place by +sheer merit." He contents himself with envying those who occupy it, +quite neglecting to put forth the efforts which would place him there +beside them. + +There is nothing worse than yielding to an exaggerated tenderness toward +ourselves, which, by magnifying our merits in our own eyes, frequently +leads us to make attempts which result in failure and expose us to +ridicule. + +This is a most frequent cause of making an inveterate coward of one who +is subject to occasional attacks of timidity. + +To know one's limitations exactly and never to allow oneself to exceed +them--this is the part of wisdom, the act of a man who, as the saying +goes, knows what he is about. + +There is in every effort a necessary limit that it is not wise to +exceed. + +"Never force your talents," says a very pithy proverb. Never undertake +to do a thing that is beyond your powers. + +Never allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion on a subject which is +beyond your intellectual depth. To do so is to take the risk of making +mistakes that will render you ridiculous. + +But if you are quite convinced that you can come out victorious, never +hesitate to enter a trial of wits that may serve as an occasion for +demonstrating the fact that you are sure of your subject. + +The man who cultivates poise will never let pass such opportunities as +this for exhibiting himself in a favorable light. + +Conscious of the soundness of his own judgment, and filled with a real +sincerity toward himself, he will not allow himself to be carried away +by a possible chance of success. Rather will he gather himself together, +collect his forces, and wait until he can achieve a real effect upon the +minds of those whom he wishes to impress. + +Similarly the result of unsuccess in such a venture is obvious. It has +the effect of developing a distrust of oneself and of destroying the +superb assurance of those people of whom it is often said: "Oh, he! He +is sailing with the wind at his back!" + +People generally fail to add in these cases that such persons have left +nothing undone to accomplish this result and are more than careful not +to weigh anchor when the wind is not favorable. + +It is true enough that there can be no actual shelter from a storm, but +the mariner who is prepared is able to ride it out without appreciable +damage, while those who are not prepared generally founder on account of +their poor seamanship. + +Disregard of calumny is always the index of a noble spirit. + +The man who wastes time over such indignities and who allows himself to +be affected by them is not of the stature that insures victory in the +struggle. + +Minds of large caliber disdain these manifestations of futile jealousy. + +People of obscurity are never vilified. Only those whose merits have +placed them in the limelight are the targets for the attacks of envy and +for the slanders of falsehood. + +A precept that has often been enunciated, and can not be too often +repeated, which should, indeed, be inscribed in letters of gold over the +doors of every institution where men meet together, runs as follows: +"Envy and malice are nothing more than homage rendered to superiority." + +Only those who occupy an enviable position can become objects of +calumny. + +Such calumny is always the work of the unworthy, who think to advertise +their own merits by denying those of better men. + +Men of resolution under such circumstances simply shrug their shoulders +and pass by. + +The rest, those who are enslaved by timidity, become confused. + +Their ego, which they cultivated in a fashion at once obscure and +absolute, becomes so profoundly affected that they lack all courage to +openly defend it. + +Moreover, that instinctive need of sympathy, which is so marked a +characteristic of the timid, is deeply wounded, while their chronic fear +of disapprobation is strengthened by the criticisms spread abroad. + +The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid +shuns society, yet nevertheless the judgments of this same society are +for him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a +disease of many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality. + +It is always a mental weakness. It is sometimes vanity, but never pride, +that reasonable pride that a philosophy now abandoned once numbered as +one of the principal vices, and which, if rightly estimated, can be +considered as the motive power of every noble action. + +Pride is a force. It is therefore a virtue which must of necessity be +one of the components of poise, so long as it contains within it no +seeds of vanity. Under such circumstances it is a primal condition of +success in the achievement of poise. Pride must, however, be free from +vanity, otherwise it ceases to be a force and becomes a cause of +deterioration. + +As a matter of fact, those who are conceited are always the dupes of +their own desire to bulk largely in the minds of others, and at the mere +thought that they will not shine as they have hoped to do the majority +of them are put entirely out of countenance and are quite at a loss for +means of expression. + +The inevitable result of this tendency is to drive them into association +with mediocrity. In such a society alone will the vain find themselves +at their ease. But the very moment that they find themselves in the +presence of those who are their superiors, the fear of not being able to +occupy the front rank throws them into such a state of mental disarray +that they entirely lose their assurance and that appearance of poise by +whose aid they are often able to deceive others. + +Finally, one of the most solid elements of poise is, without doubt, a +well-defined ambition, that is to say, one that is divested of the +drawbacks of frivolity and directly winged toward the goal of one's +hopes. + +The man who possesses ambition of this kind is certainly destined to +acquire, if he has not already acquired it, that poise which is +absolutely necessary to him in order to make his way in the world. + +He will neither be pretentious nor timorous, exaggerated nor fearful. He +will go forward without hesitation toward the goal which he knows to be +before him, and will make, without any apologies, those detours which +seem to him necessary to the success of his undertaking, without paying +any attention to the fruitless distractions that make victims of the +rash. + +He will not have to put up with the affront of being refused, for he +will ask aid only of those persons who, for various reasons, he is +practically sure will be of assistance to him. The knowledge of his own +deserts, while keeping him in the position he has attained, will prevent +him from being satisfied in commonplace surroundings, and his will-power +will always maintain him at the level he has reached, permitting him no +latitude save that of exceeding it. + +Such is true poise, not that whose spirit one violates by merely +associating it with the incapable, the pretentious, or the extravagant, +but that which is at once the motive power and the inspiration of all +the actions of those who, in their determination to force their way +through the great modern struggle for existence, perseveringly follow a +line of conduct that they have worked out for themselves in advance. + +Ignoring such enterprises as they know to be unworthy of their powers, +those who are possest of real poise (and not of that foolish temerity +colloquially known as _bluff_) will devote themselves solely to such +tasks as a well-ordered judgment and an accurate knowledge of their own +potentialities indicate to them to be fitting. + +Does this mean that they will succeed in every case? + +Unfortunately, no! But such of them as have met with temporary failure, +if they are able to assure themselves that their lack of success has +been due neither to a failure of will-power nor a fear of ridicule, will +return to the charge, once more prepared to make headway against +circumstances which they have the poise to foresee, and which they will +at least render incapable of harming them, even if they lack the +necessary force to dominate them completely to their own advantage. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE ENEMIES OF POISE + + +The enemies of poise are many and of different origins, both of feeling +and of impulse. + +They all tend, however, toward the same result, the cessation of effort +under pretexts more or less specious. + +It is of no use deceiving ourselves. Lack of poise has its roots deep in +all the faults which are caused by apathy and purposeless variety. + +We have learned in the previous chapter how greatly the vice of lack of +confidence in oneself can retard the development of the quality we are +considering. + +Balanced between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure, the +timid man leads a miserable existence, tortured by unavailing regrets +and by no less useless aspirations, which torment him like the worm that +dieth not. + +Little by little the habit of physical inaction engenders a moral +inertia and the victim learns to fly from every opportunity of escaping +from his bondage. + +Very soon an habitual state of idleness takes possession of him and +causes him to avoid everything that tends to make action necessary. + +The dread of responsibility that might devolve upon him turns him aside +from every sort of endeavor, and he passes his life in a hopeless and +sluggish inaction, from a fear of drawing down upon himself reproaches +to which he might have to make answer or of being compelled to take part +in discussions which would involve the disturbing of his indolent +repose. + +Are we to suppose then that he finds real happiness in such a state of +things? + +Certainly not, for this negative existence weighs upon him with all the +burden of a monotony that he feels powerless to throw off. His own +mediocrity enrages him while the success of others fills him with +dismay. + +Nevertheless his weakness of character allows the hate of action to +speak more loudly to him than legitimate ambition, and keeps him in a +state of obvious inferiority that of itself gives birth to numberless +new enemies, who end by destroying him utterly. + +He is first attacked by slowness of comprehension, the inevitable +consequence of that idleness that causes the cowardly to shun the +battle. + +Rather than combat influences from without he allows them daily to +assume a more prominent and a more definite place in his thoughts. + +His hatred of action says no to all initiative and he considers that he +has accomplished his whole duty toward society and toward himself when +he says: "What's the use of undertaking this or that? I haven't a chance +of succeeding and it is therefore idle to invite defeat!" + +So quickly does the change work that his mind, from lack of proper +exercise, rapidly reaches the condition where it can not voluntarily +comprehend any but the most simple affairs and goes to pieces when +confronted with occasions that call for reflection or reasoning, which +he considers as the hardest kind of work. + +It is hardly a matter for astonishment, therefore, that under these +conditions effeminacy should take possession of a soul that has become +the sport of all the weaknesses that are born of a desire to avoid +exertion. + +We do not care to draw the picture of that case too often encountered in +which this moral defeat becomes changed into envy, the feeling of +bitterness against all men, the veritable hell of the man who has not +the power to make the effort that shall free him. + +Mental instability is the inevitable consequence of this state of +affairs. + +All brain-activity being regarded as a useless toil, the man of timidity +never understands the depth of the questions he has not the courage to +discuss. If he does talk of them, it is with a bias rendered all the +more prejudiced by the fact that, instead of expressing his ideas, he +takes refuge in fortifying his heresies with arguments of which the +smallest discussion would demonstrate the worthlessness. + +This unwillingness to discuss conditions gives rise among people who are +deficient in poise to a special form of reasoning, which causes them to +summarize in the most hurried fashion even the gravest events, upon the +sole consideration that they are not asked to take part in them. If, by +any chance, they are forced to be actors in these events the least +little incident assumes for them the most formidable proportions. + +It seems probable that this tendency to exaggerate everything with which +they come in contact is due solely to egoism. It is certain at any rate +that egoism plays a large part in it, but some portion of it is due to +the lack of observation that characterizes all people of timidity. + +The mental idleness and the instability of mind that we have already +considered render such people less inclined to consider with any degree +of care those things which do not touch them directly. + +At this stage, it is no longer possible for them to feign ignorance in +order to avoid the trouble of thinking, and they are only touched, even +by the most personal matters, to the extent that circumstances impose +upon them the necessity of thinking or of acting with reference to the +subject under consideration. + +The idea that they can no longer avoid the resolutions which must be +made and their fear of the consequences which may result from these +affect them to such a profound extent that the most insignificant of +occurrences immediately assumes for them an altogether incommensurate +importance. + +This state of mind is a notable foe of poise. It is practically +impossible for a person under such conditions to believe that any +considerable effort he has made can have passed unperceived. + +This propensity to assign an exaggerated importance to personal affairs +develops egoism, the avowed enemy of poise. An egoist necessarily +assumes that the rest of the world attributes to his acts the importance +he himself assigns to them. + +This preoccupation does not fail to upset him. It increases his +embarrassment and the fear of not appearing in the light in which he +wishes to be seen paralyzes him, while the dread of what other people +may think prevents him from being himself. + +To this cause many otherwise inexplicable defeats must be assigned, the +result of which is a renewed resentment against the world at large and +an ardent desire to avoid any further exposure to the chance of failure. + +A case in point is the man who becomes nervous while making a speech, +starts to stammer, and makes a lamentable failure of what began well +enough, because he imagines that persons in the audience are making fun +of him. + +He has overheard a word, or surprized a look, neither of which had any +relation to him, but so great is his egoism that he does not dream that +any one in the audience can be so lacking in taste as to be concerned +with anything but himself. + +Had this man, in spite of his egoism, been endowed with poise, he would +have gone along calmly, simply forcing himself to ignore all criticism +and to impress his very critics by his attitude and his eloquence. But +his distrust of himself, his mental instability, his habitual weakness +of reasoning, all these enemies of poise league themselves together to +inflict upon him a defeat, of which the memory will only aggravate his +nervousness and his desire never to repeat such an unpleasant +experience. + +For the man who has no poise there is no snatching victory from defeat. +His feeble will-power is completely routed, and the effort involved in +stemming the tide of adverse opinion is to him an impossibility. + +From dread of being carried away by the current, and feeling himself +incapable of struggling against it, he prefers to hide himself in the +caves along the shore, rather than to make one desperate effort to cross +the stream. + +But the very isolation he seeks, in depriving him of moral support, +increases his embarrassment. + +"It is not good for man to be alone," says Holy Writ. It is certainly +deplorable, for one who desires to make his way, to find himself without +a prop, without a counselor, and without a guide. + +This is the case of those timid persons who do not understand how to +make friends for themselves. + +Poise, on the other hand, invites sympathy. It aids men to expand. It +creates friends when needed, and weaves the bonds of comradeship and of +protection without which our social fabric could not hold together. + +Educators should seek for inspiration in the lessons that the exigencies +of modern life offer to the view of the observer. Excessive modesty, +sworn enemy of poise, is, socially speaking, a fault from which young +minds should be carefully guarded. + +It is the open door to all the feeblenesses which interfere with the +development of poise. + +It is a mistake that it has so long been considered as a virtue. + +In any case, the day of extreme humility is past. This detachment from +oneself is contrary to all the laws of progress. + +It is opposed to all the principles of evolution and of growth which +should be the study of all our contemporaries, whatever their station or +the class to which they may happen to belong. + +No man has the right to withdraw himself from the battle and to shirk +his duties, while watching other people fighting to maintain the social +equilibrium and seeking to achieve the position to which their talents +and their attainments render them worthy to aspire. + +That which is too easily honored with the title of modesty is generally +nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals +itself. + +It is a very easy thing to strike a disdainful attitude and to exclaim: +"I didn't care to compete!" + +Do not forget that a defeat after a sanguinary combat is infinitely more +honorable than a retreat in which not a blow is struck. + +Moreover, the combats of the mind temper the soul, just as those of the +body fortify the flesh, by making both fit for the victory that is to +be. + +It is then against the enemies of poise that we must go forth to war. + +Cowardice must be hunted down, wherever we encounter it, because its +victims are thrown into the struggle of life burdened with an undeniable +inferiority. + +Even if they are worth while no one will be found to observe it, since +their lack of poise always turns them back upon themselves, and very few +people have the wit to discover what is so sedulously concealed. + +Deception is the necessary corollary of this, and one that very soon +becomes changed into spite. The disappointment of being misunderstood +must inevitably lead us to condemn those who do not comprehend us. Our +shyness will be increased at this and we shall end by disbelieving +ourselves in the qualities that we find other people ignoring in us. + +From this condition of discouragement to that of mental inertia it is +but a step, and many worthy people who lack poise have rapidly traveled +this road to plunge themselves into the obscurity of renunciation. + +They are like paralytics. Like these poor creatures they have limbs +which are of no service to them and which from habitual lack of +functioning end by becoming permanently useless. + +If their nature is a bad one they will have still more reason to +complain of this lack of poise, with its train of inconveniences of +which we have been treating, that will leave them weakened and a prey to +all sorts of mental excesses which will be the more serious in their +effects for the fact that their existence is known to no one but the +victims. + +Instead of admitting that their lack of poise-due to the various faults +of character we have been discussing--is the sole cause of the apparent +ostracism from which they suffer, they indulge in accusations against +fate, against the world, against circumstances, and grow to hate all +those who have succeeded, without being willing to acknowledge that they +have never seriously made the attempt themselves. + +Only those return home with the spoils who have taken part in the +battle, have paid with their blood and risked their lives. + +The man who remains in hiding behind the walls of his house can hardly +be astonished that such honors do not come his way. + +Life is a battle, and victory is always to the strong. The timid are +never called upon to take their share of the booty. It becomes the +property of those who have had the force to win it, either by sheer +courage or by cautious strategy, for real bravery is not always that +which calls for the easy applause of the crowd. + +It is found just as much among those who have the will-power to keep +silent as to their plans and to resist the temptation to actions which, +while satisfying their desire for energetic measures may destroy the +edifice that they have so carefully constructed. + +It is for this reason that enthusiasm may be considered with justice as +an enemy of poise. + +Those who act under the domination of an impulse born of a too-vivid +impression are rarely in a state of mind that can be depended upon to +judge sanely and impartially. They nearly always overshoot the mark at +which they aim. They are like runners dashing forward at such a high +speed that they can not bring themselves to a sudden stop. Habitual +enthusiasm is also the enemy of reflection. It is an obstacle to that +reason from which proceed strong resolves, and one is often impelled, in +observing people who are fired with too great an ardor, to thoughts of +the fable of the burning straw. + +A teacher, who inclined to the methods that consist of object lessons, +one day asked two children to make a choice between two piles, one of +straw, the other of wood. It is hardly necessary to add that while the +size of the pile of straw was great that of the wood was hardly +one-tenth of the volume. + +The first child, when told to make his choice, took the mass of straw, +which he set on fire easily enough, warming himself first from a +respectful distance and then at close range, in proportion as the heat +of the fire grew less. + +In so doing he made great sport of his companion, who struggled +meanwhile to set alight the pile of wood. But what was the outcome? + +The huge mass of straw was soon burned out, while the wood, once lit, +furnished a tranquil and steady flame, which the first child watched +with envy while seated by the mass of cinders that alone remained of the +vanished pile that he had chosen. + +The man of real poise is like the child who, disclaiming the transitory +blaze of the straw, prefers to work patiently at building a fire whose +moderate heat will afford him a durable and useful warmth. + +Let us then beware of sudden unreasoning enthusiasms. After the +ephemeral flame of their first ardor has burned itself out we shall but +find ourselves seated by the mass of ashes formed of our mistakes and +our dead energies. + +The rock on which so many abortive attempts are wrecked in the effort to +achieve poise is a type of sentimentality peculiar to certain natures. + +This state of mind is characterized by a craving for expansion, which is +all the more irritating since the timidity of the person concerned +prevents it from being satisfied. + +In place of relying upon themselves, feeling their disabilities and the +lack of poise which prevents them from proper expression, such people +try to make themselves understood by those who do not appreciate their +feelings, without stopping to think that they have done nothing to make +clear what they really need. + +Such a chaotic state of mind, based on errors of judgment, is a very +serious obstacle to the acquisition of poise. + +This anxiety to communicate their feelings, always rendered ineffective +by the difficulty of making the effort involved, gives rise in the long +run to a species of misanthropy. + +It is a matter of common knowledge that misanthropy urges those who +suffer from it to fall back upon themselves, and from this state to that +of active hostility toward others the road is short, and timid people +are rarely able to pull up before they have traversed it. + +There comes to them from this intellectual solitude an unhappiness so +profound that they are glad to be able to attribute to the mental +inferiority of others the condition of moral isolation in which they +live. + +To insist that they are misunderstood, and to pride themselves upon the +fact, is the inevitable fate of those who never can summon up courage to +undertake a battle against themselves. + +It seems to them a thousand times easier to say: "These minds are too +gross to comprehend mine," than to seek for a means of establishing an +understanding with those whom they tax with ignorance and insensibility. + +They might, perhaps, be convinced of the utility to them of divulging +their feelings, could they be forced into a position where they had to +defend their ideas or were compelled to put up a fight on behalf of +their convictions. + +In the ranks of the enemies of poise sullenness most certainly finds a +place. + +It is the fault of the feeble-spirited who have not the energy to affirm +their sentiments or to make a plain statement of their convictions that +they become incensed with those who oppose them. + +In their case a good deal of false pride is present. They know +themselves to be beaten and to be incapable of fighting, yet they are +too vain to accept defeat. They refuse the sympathy that wounds them, +and suffer the more from their inability to yield themselves to that +good-will which would aid and comfort them. + +From this mental conflict is born an irritation that manifests itself in +the form of obstinate sullenness. + +In other cases the same state of mind may produce radically different +results. + +Always obsessed by the fear of appearing ridiculous and by the no less +vivid dread of seeming to be an object of sympathy, such people are +often driven through lack of poise into extreme boastfulness. + +No man who has poise will ever fall a victim to this misfortune. + +He knows exactly what his capabilities are and he has no need to +exaggerate his own abilities to impress his friends. + +Poise calls for action, when this becomes necessary; but the man of +resolve, being always prepared to do what is needful, considers mere +boasting and bravado as something quite unworthy of him. + +There are, however, certain extenuating circumstances in the cases of +those timid people who take refuge in boasting. They are almost +invariably the dupes of their own fancies, and for the moment really +believe themselves to be capable of endeavors beset by difficulties, of +the surmounting of which they understand nothing. + +Nothing looks easier to duplicate than certain movements which are +performed with apparent ease by experts. + +Which of us has not been profoundly astonished at the enormous +difficulty experienced in accomplishing some simple act of manual toil +that we see performed without the least effort by a workman trained to +this particular task? + +What looks easier, for instance, than to plane a piece of wood or to dig +up the ground? + +Is it possible that the laborer, wheeling a barrow, really has to be +possest of skill or strength? + +It hardly seems so. And yet the man who takes a plane in his hands for +the first time will be astounded at the difficulty he experiences in +approximating to the regularity and lightness of stroke that comes +naturally to the carpenter. + +The man who essays to dig a piece of ground or to wheel a barrow, will +find himself making irregular ditches and traveling in zigzags, and all +this at the expense of a hundred times the energy put forth by the +workman who is accustomed to these particular forms of labor. + +The person of timidity who boasts of his remarkable exploits is +actuated, as a general rule, by sheer lack of experience. + +His peculiar fault keeps him always in the background and prevents him +from accomplishing any public action, and for this reason those efforts +appear easy to him that he has never thought of attempting. + +Further than this, aided by his false pride, he considers that his +merits are easily greater than those of the people who are not able to +understand him, and he is acting in perfect good faith when he professes +to be able to accomplish what they can not. + +Is it necessary to add that the ironical reception given to such +exhibitions of boastfulness rouse in him a feeling of irritation which +is all the greater for the fact that he does not openly show it? + +The man of resolve will never experience these unpleasant emotions. + +He knows exactly what he wants and what he can do. So we see him +marching ahead steadily, his eyes fixt upon the goal he has worked out +for himself, paying no heed whatever to misleading suggestions, which +cripple his breadth of soul and would in the end deprive him of that +essential energy which is vital to him if he would preserve his even +poise, the foundation of mental balance and the source of every real +success in life. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +WAR ON TIMIDITY + + +One can not be too insistent in asserting how harmful the lack of poise +can be, and when once this weakness has reached the stage of timidity it +may produce the most tragic consequences not only so far as the daily +routine of our lives is concerned, but also with reference to our moral +and physical equilibrium. + +So, when the nervous system is constantly set on edge by the emotions to +which this fault gives rise, it necessarily follows that all the +faculties suffer in their turn. + +This is particularly true of those who are constantly haunted by the +fear of finding themselves in a condition of mental unpreparedness, to +the extent that they prefer to remain in solitude and silence rather +than to mingle in a world which really has too many other things to +think of to concern itself with their acts or their opinions. + +This morbid dread of becoming the subject of ridicule ends by creating a +peculiar condition of mind of which, as we have already pointed out, +egoism is the pivot. + +In this way it is a common occurrence to see people of timidity paying +exaggerated attention to the slightest changes in the condition of their +health. + +Such people by shutting themselves out from the world have reduced it to +the circumference of their own personalities and everything which +touches them necessarily assumes gigantic importance in their eyes. + +The slightest opposition becomes for them a catastrophe. The smallest +unpleasantness presents itself to them in the light of a tragic +misfortune. + +For this reason the lives of the timid become a succession of boredoms +and of pains. + +Even in those cases where no really unfortunate incident occurs, these +people so exaggerate what actually does happen to them that the least +little emotion causes them the most profound unhappiness. + +On those days when nothing in particular happens they spend their time +anticipating all sorts of disasters, including those which are not the +least likely to happen. To them the tiniest cloud is an omen of a +devastating storm. + +When the sun is shining their timidity prevents them from exposing +themselves to the heat of its rays. + +The timid man, in his moral isolation, is like the hare, who, crouched +in its form, sleeps with one eye open in constant terror of the +passer-by or of the hunter. + +It may be well to add that worry about oneself is invariably an +accompaniment of all these troubles. People without poise are, with very +few exceptions, egotists who exaggerate their own importance. + +Moreover, they suffer keenly from the obscurity into which their defects +have forced them as well as from dread of the alternatives presented to +them, the making of an effort to escape this fate, an idea that fills +them with horror, or the continuing to live in the unhappy condition +that has spoiled existence for them through their own faults. + +It is hardly then a matter for surprize that so many people who are thus +mentally out of balance end by becoming neurotics or become a prey to +those cerebral disorders that are, unfortunately, all too frequent. + +This condition of solitude, at once deplored and self-imposed, has the +still more serious disadvantage of leaving the mind, for lack of proper +control, to the domination of the most false and exaggerated ideas. + +It is a well-known fact that any force of exaggeration, however obvious, +becomes less noticeable to us in proportion as it becomes more familiar. + +It exists, in the last analysis, only by its comparative relation to +other things. + +It is certain that a child ten years old would seem very large if he +were five feet high, whereas a man of that stature is considered a +dwarf. + +Among Oriental races a woman is generally classed as a blonde whose hair +is not absolutely black. + +Things only take their real appearance from a comparison with others of +the same kind. + +For all his science, an ethnologist, placed in front of a man of an +unknown tribe, would be unable to say whether this man's stature were +normal or below the average in relation to others of his race, since no +information would be forthcoming as to this people's height or +characteristics. It is, therefore, no matter for surprize that the timid +man, shut in upon himself and having no other horizon than the limited +field of his own observations, is disposed to picture them in colors +whose truth he can not verify, since the terms of comparison, vital to +the accomplishment of his end, are not available to him. + +It is, therefore, impossible for such a man not to become accustomed to +the idea as it presents itself to him, to such an extent that he is +quite unconscious of its successive changes in character. + +Do we notice the growth of a child who is constantly with us until he +reaches man's estate? + +Can we measure the development of a blossom into the perfect flower? + +Assuredly not, if we have lived daily in the company of the child and +have glanced several times an hour at the blossom. + +Both the one and the other will reach maturity without being sensibly +conscious of the fact that they are changing. + +But if we go away from the child for a few months, if, in the interval, +we see other children, we can form an estimate of his growth and can +compare him mentally with the other children we have met. + +The same is true of the flower. If other duties call us away for the +moment from contemplating it, we will notice the progress of its +unfolding and we will also be able to tell whether, in relation to that +of other plants, it is quick, slow, or merely normal. + +The man who is timid, be he never so observant, will derive no benefit +from these observations, for he is quite unable to generalize and refers +them all to a point of view which cramps them hopelessly and gives them +a color that is, entirely false. + +So, from the habit of thinking without any opposition, little by little +he allows his ideas to become changed and distorted without any one's +being able to advise him of the misconceptions which he keeps closely to +himself. + +It is for this reason that all timid people have a marked tendency to +distort facts and to acquire false ideas. + +It is often with perfect good faith that they affirm a thing which they +believe sincerely, not having had the opportunity to control the +successive changes which have transformed it absolutely from what it was +at the outset. + +It is a lucky day for timid people of this class when fate prevents them +from entering into competition with those who are possest of poise. + +Were these latter a hundred times weaker than they are they would still +end by triumphing over their feeble antagonists. + +It is above all in the affairs of ordinary every-day life that poise +renders the most valuable service. + +If it becomes a question of presenting or discussing a matter of +business, the timid man, embarrassed by his own personality, begins to +stammer, becomes confused, and can not recall a single argument. He +finally abandons all the gain that he dreamed of making in order to put +an end to the torments from which he suffers. + +He is to be considered lucky if under the domination of the troubles in +which he finds himself, he does not lose all faculty of speech. + +This failing, so common among the timid, is a further cause of confusion +to the victim. + +At the bare idea that he may become the prey of such a calamity he +unconsciously closes his lips and lowers the tones of his voice. + +The man of poise, on the other hand, feels himself the more impelled to +redouble his efforts in proportion to the need his cause has for being +well defended. + +He knows how to arrange his arguments, and to foresee those of his +adversary, and, if he finds himself face to face with a statement which +he can not refute, he will seek some means of softening the defeat or of +changing the ground of the debate in such a way as to avoid confusion to +himself. + +In any event, such an occurrence will have no profound effect upon him. +Vanquished on one point, he will find the presence of mind to at once +change the character of the discussion to questions which are at once +familiar and favorable to him. + +He who goes forth into life armed with poise has also the marked +advantage over the timid that comes from superior health. + +This phrase should not be the occasion for a smile. Timidity is a +chronic cause of poor health in those who suffer from it. + +Pushed to extremes, it is the source of a thousand nervous defects. + +We have already touched upon stammering. + +Unreasonable blushing is another misfortune of the timid. In drawing the +attention of one's opponents it betrays at once one's ideas and one's +fears. + +Fear of this uncomfortable blushing inhibits many people from making the +most of themselves or from properly protecting their own interests. + +The shame they feel on account of this inferiority leads them, as we +have seen, to seek isolation in which hypochondria slowly grows upon +them, sure forerunner of that terrible neurasthenia of which the effects +are so diverse and so disconcerting. + +The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes +transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by +a thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to +walk unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, +etc., etc. + +It must not be forgotten that these crises of embarrassments always +produce extreme emotion accompanied by palpitations whose frequent +recurrence may lead to actual heart trouble. + +All these disadvantages increase the sullenness of the timid, who are +overcome by the sense of their own physical weakness, which they know +has its origin in a condition of mind that they lack the power either to +change or to abolish. + +All these causes of physical inferiority are unknown to the man who +appreciates the value of poise and puts it into practise. + +Such a man has no fear of embarrassment in speaking. He is a stranger to +the misery of aimless blushing. If he does not always emerge victorious +from the oratorical combats in which he engages he at least has the +satisfaction of acknowledging to himself that he has not been beaten +easily or without a struggle. In short, misanthropy, neurasthenia, and +all their attendant ills, are for him unknown ailments. + +One can not be too watchful against the attacks of timidity, which, like +a contaminated spring, poisons the entire existence of those who are +unable to dam up its flow. + +Among the martyrdoms which are caused by it must be counted indecision, +which is one of its most frequent and most unhappy results. + +The timid man can not stop at any point. + +He vacillates unceasingly and takes turn by turn the most opposing +viewpoints. + +It is only fair to add that he rejects them all almost as soon as he has +formed them. + +His state of mind being always one of distrust of his own powers, it is +impossible for him not to be afraid that he has made a mistake, if he is +left to do his own thinking. + +We have seen how his craving for sympathy, never satisfied, since he +does not make it known, drives him ever into impotent rage, which throws +him back upon himself in scarcely concealed irritation, that alienates +him from all sympathy and precludes all confidences. + +It is rarely, therefore, that the timid person does not find himself +isolated when facing the decisions of greater or less gravity that daily +life makes necessary. + +In terror of making a mistake that may lead to some change of course or +give rise to the necessity of taking some definite action, he hesitates +everlastingly. + +If, driven into a corner by circumstances, he ends by making some +decision, we may be sure that he will at once regret it and that, if the +time still remains to him, he will modify it in some way, only to revert +to it again a moment later. + +His will is like a ball continually thrown to and fro by children. No +sooner is it tossed in one direction than it is suddenly sent flying in +another, to return finally to its starting-place at the moment when the +players' weariness causes it to fall to the ground. + +This particular state of mind is primarily due to two causes: + +The desire for perfection that haunts all timid people. + +The fear of making a mistake that arises from the habit of continually +mistrusting one's own judgment. + +There are many other causes, the analysis of which is far beyond the +scope of this work, but every one of these can be referred to the two +main issues we have defined. The desire for perfection is at once the +result and the cause of most timidity. + +While the man of resolve, relying upon his experience, is able to +perform his part in those normal exigencies that he is able to conceive +of, the timid man, shut off by his defects from all practical knowledge +of life, comes to grief by discovering something amiss with every course +that he considers. + +A familiar proverb tells us that everything has its good and its bad +side. + +The timid see only the latter when making the decisions that fate +imposes upon them. + +They fall into despair at their inability to see the other side of +things and their feeble will drives against solid obstacles like a car +colliding with a block of granite. + +The man of resolution, instead of yielding to despair, seeks to surmount +such a difficulty by turning his car in another direction; but, if the +new road shows him nothing but dangerous pitfalls, he will choose to go +around the block and continue his journey, remembering it as a landmark +for his return. + +For this reason we shall find him well on his way toward his journey's +end while the victim of timidity continues to exhaust himself by vain +efforts, thankful enough if he is not permanently mired in some of the +bogs into which he has imprudently ventured. This is a state of affairs +of much more frequent occurrence than one might suppose. Timidity, as we +have seen, often unites the boldest conceptions with complete +inexperience, which does not permit of accurate judgment as to +impossibilities. + +This lack of knowledge of life is also the cause of a continual fear of +making mistakes. + +The man of resolution never suffers from this complaint. + +Having taught himself the value of a ripened judgment, he is quick to +recognize the advantage to be derived from any project. He weighs +alternatives carefully and only makes his decisions on well-thought-out +grounds, after sufficient reasoned reflection to make sure that he will +have no cause for future regret. + +We have already remarked that such forms of irresolution constituted a +martyrdom. The word is by no means too strong. They are never-ending +occasions for physical and moral torture. + +They are to be met with in the most trivial details of every-day life. + +The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an +ever-recurring source of torment. + +He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead +and another back, looks despairingly at the line of vehicles that bars +his way, and, when a momentary opening in this confronts him, takes so +long to make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before +he has seized it. + +Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger +to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the +vehicles that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them, +or of any quick or dexterous movement by which he may avoid them. + +This little picture, despite its commonplace nature, is nevertheless a +symbol. + +In the crossings of life, as well as those of the streets, the man who +is timid is at an immense disadvantage when compared with the man of +poise. + +The latter does not worry his head about the traffic that blocks his +progress. + +Aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment, he stands +firmly awaiting the moment that affords him an opening. Then, with +muscles tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead +here, or glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic +and reaches his goal without having suffered from accident. + +The troubles upon which we have been dwelling are never his. His soul, +dominated by a well-ordered will, by reason, and all the other good +qualities we enumerated in the first chapter, is proof against all +attacks of weakness. + +In the event of his not possessing all these virtues, he has the wit to +keep the thought of them always before him and to work hard to acquire +them, so that he may become what, in modern parlance, we call "a force," +that is to say one whose soul is virile enough to influence not only his +mind, but even to liberate his body from the defects created in it by +distrust of self. + +But, it will be claimed, there are people who are born timid and who are +quite unable to achieve the mastery of themselves. + +Every human being can win the victory over himself. This we will prove +conclusively in the pages that are to follow, dedicated to those who are +desirous of arming themselves, in the great game of life, with that +master card which is named POISE. + + + + + + +PART II + +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +CHAPTER I + +MODESTY AND EFFRONTERY CONTRASTED + + +"Never force your talents" a well-known writer has said. One always +feels like crying this to those who, thinking to reach the goal of +poise, fall into excess and develop effrontery and exaggeratedness. + +Poise can not exist without coolness. We have seen that this quality is +rarely met with in enthusiasts. + +It is never found in those who have effrontery. + +Poise does not consist in the species of ostentatious carelessness which +essays to travel through life as a child might wander among hives of +bees without taking any precautions against being stung. + +Neither is it that false courage that drives one headlong into a +conflict without any thought as to the blows likely to fall upon the +foolhardy person who has ventured into it. + +The principle upon which we must start is this: life is a battle in +which strategy always has the advantage over blind courage. + +Unfortunate is he who, by his boasting or his lack of generalship, +decides upon an attack for which he is not really prepared. However +brave he may be he will infallibly find himself vanquished in a struggle +in which everything has combined in advance to defeat him. + +Boasting is not courage. Still less is it poise. + +Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self. It inhibits all +outward manifestations that are likely to result in giving information +to strangers with regard to our real feelings. + +Braggarts can not avoid this stumbling-block. They know nothing of the +delights of contemplation, from which arise ripe resolutions that will +be steadfastly followed. + +With the noise of their boastings, with the shouting of their own +braggart ineptitudes, they hypnotize themselves so thoroughly that they +are quite unable to hear the counsel that sane wisdom whispers in their +ears. + +They are like the man in the eastern fable who was quite unable to +follow a beaten path and was constantly wandering across the fields of +his neighbors. + +These detours were in general much longer than the direct road would +have been, and he received a constant stream of abuse, to say nothing of +blows, from the people whose crops he was ruining. + +But he seemed quite insensible to assaults and insisted upon following, +across lots, a road which led nowhere. + +It would be difficult to paint a more faithful portrait. Like the +peasant in the story, the man of effrontery is always wandering far from +the common road, the tranquil peace of which he despises. + +He delights in crossing land that he knows to be forbidden to him, seeks +to force open gates that are closed at his approach, and, if he can not +overcome the opposition of the porter, watches for the moment when an +open window will permit him entrance into a house where he will be +coldly, if not angrily, received. + +What is the result of this? + +Nothing favorable to his plans, one may be sure. People point him out. +They fly from him, and were he the bearer of the most advantageous +proposition, refuse to put any faith in his assertions as soon as they +get to know him in the least. + +Effrontery may sometimes impose upon the innocent. But it is only a +momentary deception, quickly dissipated the moment that time is given to +estimate the emptiness of its claims. + +There is another variety of effrontery that is comparable to the form of +courage exhibited by the timorous who sing in a loud voice in order to +lessen their terror and imagine that by so doing they give the illusion +of bravery. + +People of this sort talk very loudly, often contradicting themselves, +and pass judgment upon everything, dismissing the most difficult +questions with only a passing thought, but remain silent and are put +completely out of countenance as soon as one insists upon their +listening to reason, or when--in familiar language--they "meet their +match." + +The man of effrontery is a passionate devotee of bluff, and not only of +that variety of which Jonathan Dick has said: + +"It is a security discounted in advance." + +A little further on he adds: + +"Bluffers of the right sort are only so when the occasion demands it, in +order to give the impression that the wished-for result has already been +achieved. + +"As soon as their credit is assured and appearances have become +realities that allow them to establish themselves in positions of +security they at once cease the effort to deceive." + +Our author concludes: + +"Bluff, to be successful, must never be founded upon puerility or brag." + +Now these two qualities are always to be met with in the doings of the +man of effrontery, who only achieves by accident the goal he aims at, +and then only in the most insecure way. + +Drawbacks differing as to their causes, but equally unlucky as to their +results, are born of the opposite fault--modesty. + +It is high time to destroy the leniency shown toward this defect that +old-fashioned educators once decorated with the title of virtue. + +Time has forged ahead, taking with it in its rapid course all forms of +progress, which, in its turn, has made giant strides. + +Ideas have changed materially. Modern life has to face emergencies +formerly undreamed of, and those who still believe in the virtue of +modesty are their own enemies, as well as those of the people whom they +advise to cultivate it. + +The case of this man is similar to that of many others, whose meaning +has been undergoing a gradual change due to the erroneous interpretation +that has deliberately been placed upon it. + +Modesty is very frequently nothing more than an evidence of +incompetence. + +It has rise in sentiments that the man who would be up to date must +avoid at all hazards--distrust of self and hatred of exertion. + +One rarely finds it in the man who is active and who knows his own +worth. To revenge itself, it flourishes among the lazy, who try to save +their pride and to conceal their secret irritation at the successes of +others by assuming an humble attitude and exclaiming: + +"Oh! I didn't care to do it!" + +Or still more frequently: + +"No, I haven't entered the lists. I am absolutely without ambition!" + +Under similar circumstances people who are unknown cry out, and with +reason: + +"Oh! I have a horror of publicity!" + +This is simply a roundabout way of informing us that were it not for +their retiring modesty, the hundred mouths of rumor would be shouting +their praise. + +Modesty is very rarely what it appears to be. As soon as it exhibits the +form of a wise reserve it must be called by another name: prudence and +self-justification. + +The attitude of trying to keep one's actions from becoming known is not +a laudable one, and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of +inaction. + +What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the +scientists and all the men of genius had made a practise of modesty! + +If our forefathers had been modest, when it was the fashion to be proud +of this quality, our museums would be empty and only a few of the +initiated would know that men of exceptional merit, which they had +sedulously concealed, had written manuscripts which had never been +published. The humility of the writers in such cases could be made to +pay too severe a penalty. + +No! Men who have merits are not modest! This false virtue is the +appanage of none but weak and irresolute hearts. + +We should congratulate ourselves, while admitting these facts, that our +forefathers were not so constituted, and that their faith in themselves, +by giving them confidence in their own work, made it possible for them +to hand these on to their descendants. + +Of what use to us would it be to know that a poem of finer quality and +more splendid fire than any we have ever read had once been written, if +the modesty of its author had led him to keep it always in his pocket +and it had finally vanished into the limbo of ignored and forgotten +things? + +It is then actually wrong to sing the praises of modesty, which is no +more than distrust of oneself, egoism, and laziness. + +The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing +nothing. He hides his ineptitude behind this convenient veil whose +thickness allows him to hint of the existence of things which are +nothing but figments of his imagination. + +We might add that the man who proclaims his modesty enters the struggle +with a decided handicap against him. The moment he begins to have doubts +about his own powers he will be sure to find himself the prey of an +unfortunate indecision, and that at the very moment when he is called +upon to perform some decisive action. + +"One day," says an old writer, "three men, in the course of a climb up a +mountain, found themselves confronted by a crevasse that they must +cross. + +"One of these was a timid man, another a boaster, and the third was +possest of a reasoned poise. + +"The boaster made a jump without stopping to think and without taking +the trouble to measure the gap. He plunged into it. + +"The modest man then advanced, looked down into the gulf, then decided +to make use of the irregularities in the surface of the chasm to reduce +the width of the jump. + +"He made several attempts to carry this out, but could hardly touch the +edge before an instinctive movement of fear forced him back. + +"He worked so hard and so long at this that he was quite tired out when +he at last chose the moment for the decisive attempt. He jumped, indeed, +but in such a half-hearted way that he merely touched the opposite face +of the crevasse and fell to the bottom of the precipice alongside of the +boaster. + +"The third climber, who possest the advantage of poise, had meanwhile +been losing no time. He had mentally gaged the width of the crevasse, +had made a number of trial jumps to test his ability to clear it, and +when, with a firm resolution to succeed, he reached the edge from which +he must leap, his soul, fortified by the knowledge of his powers was +fired with a single idea, the consciousness of his own agility and +strength. + +"By this means he, alone of the three, was able to cross the gulf in +which his two companions had perished." + +Effrontery and boastfulness have often another source. The shyness of +those who suffer from timidity, by isolating them and denying them the +means of expansion, prevents them from obtaining a real control over +their feelings, which undergo a process of deterioration so slow that +they do not notice it. + +There are very few things to which we can not easily become accustomed, +to the extent of a complete failure to notice their peculiarities, if +their strangeness is only unfolded to us gradually. + +A thousand things which shock us at the first blush take on the guise of +every-day matters when once we have acquired the habit of familiarity +with them. + +The timid man, who will not openly acknowledge his feelings, is +practically unable to take cognizance of their gradual transformation. + +We may add that he is always prone to dream, and peoples his world +involuntarily with imaginary utopias, which he begins by considering as +desirable, then as possible, and finally as actually existing. + +This is the starting-point of boastfulness. It partakes at once of +falsity and of sincerity. The timid man loves to feel himself important, +and he merely pities the people whom he considers incapable of +understanding him. He is, nevertheless, sincere in his bravado, as his +dreams entirely deceive him as to his real self. + +In his solitary meditations he deliberately shakes off his own +personality, as a butterfly abandons the shelter of its chrysalis, and, +following the example of that gorgeous insect, he flies away on the +wings of his dreams in the guise of the being that he imagines himself +to have become. + +This creature resembles him not at all. It is brave, courageous, +eloquent. It accomplishes the most brilliant feats of daring. + +In this way, just so soon as the timid man becomes intermittently a +braggart, he commences to boast of exploits quite impossible of +performance. We must remember, however, that it is not he who speaks, +but merely the idealized ego which he invents because he is chagrined at +being misunderstood. + +Moral isolation is the parent of other curious phenomena. It imparts the +gift of seeing things exactly as we would wish them to be, by clothing +them little by little with a character entirely foreign to that which +they really possess. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," we are told the following little +personal anecdote of the Japanese philosopher Yoritomo: + +"It was my misfortune as a child," says this ancient sage, "to be the +victim of a serious illness which kept me confined to a bed and unable +to move. + +"I was not allowed to read and my only distraction was the study of the +objects in my immediate neighborhood. + +"The pattern of a screen made a particular impression upon me with its +clusters of flowers and its bouquets of roses. + +"I passed hours in the contemplation of it. + +"At first I merely followed the outlines with my eye, finding in them no +more than an artistic reproduction of nature. But, little by little, the +clusters of flowers were transformed into gardens, the rose-trees took +on the imposing aspect of forests. In these gardens my dreams created a +princess, and in the forest a company of warriors. + +"Then the romance began. + +"Every new line I observed became the pretext for creating a new +character. The princess was very soon taken captive by a giant--whom I +saw perfectly--and the warriors undertook the task of rescue. + +"Every day a panorama moved before me of changing personalities, who +reenacted the events of the story. Finally the obsession took such a +strong hold of me that I began to talk about it in a manner that aroused +the fears of my parents. + +"The screen was banished from my room and when, a few days later, it was +brought back for me to see, I was able to discover nothing more in it +than the designs with which it was adorned." + +This example, taken directly from life, shows us better than the most +extended arguments the dangers of moral isolation. + +By this we do not mean the isolation that is essential to concentration, +the practise of which always leads to the most fruitful results. + +We are speaking solely of the aloofness born of timidity or of +exaggerated pride, which, in depriving us of contrary views, develops in +us the propensity to see things from only one angle, which is always +that which happens to flatter our vanity or please our tastes. + +All those persons who suffer from this disease of the will, which +deprives them of the ability of discussing things, may be compared to +runners who have neglected to ascertain the limits of their race. + +Like the latter, they keep running round the same track without any +means of discovering when they are nearing the goal. + +Instead of stopping, when they have reached it, they keep running +forward and the monotony of their efforts, coupled with the fever-heat +engendered by their exertions, very soon causes them to view the objects +that they keep passing and passing under a deformed and distorted +aspect. + +The man of reason, on the other hand, runs with the single purpose in +his mind of reaching the winning-post. He studiously avoids taking his +eyes off the goal, which he has carefully located in advance, and takes +pains to note the moment when he is nearing it, so as to run no risks of +making his spurt too soon. + +It is a matter of frequent observation that timidity often voluntarily +assumes the rôle of effrontery, from very despair of successfully +accomplishing the task it is ambitious to perform. + +Illustrious examples of this contention are not lacking. Rousseau, who +was a coward of the greatest hardihood, says in his _Confessions_: + +"My foolish and unreasoning fear, that I was quite unable to overcome, +of perpetrating some breach of good manners led me to assume the +attitude of caring nothing for the niceties of life." + +A little further on, he adds: + +"I was made a cynic by shyness. I posed as a despiser of the politeness +I did not know how to practise." + +This is a much more frequent cause than one might think of the +exhibition of an effrontery which is apparently deliberate and +intentional. + +The timid man, feeling himself awkward and clownish when performing the +usual acts of courtesy, assumes the attitude of caring nothing for them +and of avoiding them deliberately, while all the while he is tortured by +the inability to perform them without seeming ridiculous. + +But the onlooker is not deceived. The outward appearance of cynicism +often conceals an inward sensitiveness of soul that is quite obvious, +and the actor makes so poor a hand at identifying himself with the +character he would assume that it is clearly evident he is only playing +a part. + +The conflict of diametrically opposing forces shows itself plainly in +his attitude which vacillates between the stiffest formality and the +easiest assurance. + +The awkwardness that is the bugbear of the timid shows itself even +beneath their work of cynicism, and the very effort accuses them, no +less than their flighty and unreasoning conversation and their gestures, +now exaggerated and now represt, all of which make up a whole that +entirely fails to give an impression of harmony. + +And what possible harmony can there be between a soul and a body that +are completely out of accord with each other? + +Should it be asked what the difference is between presumption or +effrontery and the poise that we have in mind, this simple illustration +should be illuminating. + +Effrontery, bravado, and exaggeration are qualities that are shown by +those who exceed their own capacity without giving the question a +thought. + +Poise is the virtue which gives us the strength of mind to analyze the +possibilities that are dominant within us, to cultivate them, and to +strengthen them in every possible way before undertaking an enterprise +which is likely to call them into play. + +Real poise has no bluster about it. It has a good deal in it of +self-possession, the discretion belonging to which is one of its marked +characteristics. + +Repression of our outward movements enables us to achieve that control +over our emotions which makes a perfect cloak for our intentions, and +leaves our opponents in perplexity as to how to attack the fortress that +they wish to conquer. + +It is, therefore, between modesty and effrontery, both equally +prejudicial to success, that poise must naturally be placed. + +But, it will be objected, all the world does not possess this gift of +poise. Are those who do not share it to be forever denied all chance of +success? + +Not so! It is open to all the world to acquire this gift, and if the +chapters following this are read with care it will be seen that it is +something that can be cultivated, so that it can be gradually perfected +and carried about with one as the germ of every sort of success, the +happy issue of which depends upon a thorough realization of one's own +merits and the honorable ambition to accomplish a task that has been +prudently planned and bravely carried to an end. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +PHYSICAL EXERCISES TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +Before preparing oneself by the exercise of reasoning and will-power for +the acquisition of poise, it is vitally necessary to make oneself +physically fit for the effort to be undertaken. + +One should begin with this fundamental principle: + +Timidity being a disease one must treat it just as one would any other +illness. + +Like all other physical maladies it is sure to be the cause of loss of +social prestige to those who suffer from it. + +It must then be combated in the same way as any other infirmity of long +standing that threatens to ruin the life of the sufferer. + +It is a grave mistake to consider it merely a mental ailment that can be +alleviated by nothing but psychological treatment. + +One's nervous condition plays a very large part in the conquest of +poise. + +We must, therefore, watch most carefully over the good health of the +body before taking any measures whatever to abolish a condition of +affairs that has been engendered by physical weakness and that will be +fostered by it unless such weakness can be eradicated or more or less +dissipated and ameliorated by a thousand little daily acts of care. + +It must be understood that we are not now speaking of medical treatment. +We have reference merely to that common-sense hygiene which has become +more or less a part of modern existence, and the daily practise of +which, while firmly establishing the health, has at the same time an +undoubted reflex action upon the mind. It is a well-known fact that +energy is never found in a weakened body, and that people who are +suffering are clearly marked down to become the prey of those wasting +diseases, whose names, all more or less fantastic, may be classed as a +whole under the general heading of "nervous maladies." + +To enumerate them is superfluous and unnecessary. Lack of poise gives +rise to all sorts of weaknesses, which are given the names of nervous +diseases and finally become classed in the category of phobias, of which +the starting-point is always a habit of fear due to excess of timidity. +This morbid disposition is the parent of a continual apprehensiveness +which is shown upon all sorts of occasions. + +The man who has the space phobia is quite unable to cross an open space +unless he is supported or, at the very least, accompanied. + +Claustrophobia is the malady of those who have a horror of close +quarters from which they can not easily make their escape. + +Writers' cramp is nothing in the world but one of these exaggerated +nervous terrors. + +Erythrophobia, that is to say the habit of inopportune and constant +blushing, is another of the commonest forms of excessive timidity. + +Stammering is another of the tortures that people of poise do not +experience, except in those cases where it is caused by a physical +malformation. + +All these maladies attack only the timid. + +There are many others, less serious in their nature, such as indecision, +exaggerated scrupulousness, extreme pliability, hypochondria. All of +these should be ruthlessly supprest the moment we become aware of them, +for they are one and all the forerunners of that mentally diseased +condition which gives rise to the phobias of which we have just been +speaking. + +To those who would seriously devote themselves to the cultivation of +poise it is, therefore, a vital necessity to be in a condition of +perfect health. It would be a misfortune, indeed, for them to find +themselves balked in their progress toward acquiring this quality by +anxieties regarding the condition of their bodies. + +Any indisposition, not to mention actual diseases, has a tendency to +inhibit all initiative. + +There is no room for doubt that a physical ailment by attracting to +itself the attention of the person who is attacked by it, prevents him +from giving the proper amount of energy to whatever he may be engaged +upon. + +He thinks about nothing but his malady and quite forgets to take the +exercises that would enable him to alter his condition, to change his +actions, and even to make over his thoughts. + +His thoughts above all. Physical well-being has an undeniable influence +upon one's mental health. + +One very rarely sees a sick person who is happy. Even those who are +endowed with great force of character lose, under the burden of their +sufferings, part of their firmness of soul and of their legitimate +ambition. + +A very scientific force of hygiene is particularly recommended. +Excessive measures of any sort must be avoided for various reasons: + +(1) They are antagonistic to the maintenance of a perfect physical +equilibrium. + +(2) They will inevitably grow to dominate the mind unduly. + +When we speak of excesses, we intend to include those undertaken in the +way of work no less than those which are the outcome of the search for +pleasure. + +Nevertheless we will hasten to add that these last are much the more to +be feared. + +What can be expected, for instance, from a man who has passed a night in +debauchery? + +Morning finds him a weakling, good for nothing, and incapable of making +the slightest effort that calls for energy. + +He is lucky, indeed, if his excesses have no disastrous results that +will destroy his happiness or his good name. + +The fear of complications that may be the outcome of his gross pleasures +soon begins to haunt him and to usurp in his mind the place of nobler +and more useful impulses. + +As to his health, it is hardly necessary for us to insist upon the +disorder that such habits must necessarily produce. + +The least misfortune that he can look for is a profound lassitude and a +desire for rest which is the enemy of all virile effort. + +The same thing is true of the man who indulges too freely in the +pleasures of the table. The work of digestion leaves him in an exhausted +condition and with a craving for repose that very soon results in a +complete lack of moral tone. + +Even supposing that his daily routine consists of two principal meals, +and of two others of less importance, it will be easily understood that +the man who loads down his stomach with such a large amount of +continuous work will not be very apt to adapt himself readily to matters +of a wholly different kind. + +To avoid pain, to sit inert, like a gorged animal, without attempting to +think, is the sole desire of the gluttons who are wearied by every +repeated excess. + +The same reasoning could be applied to the lazy, who suffer in health +from indulgence in their favorite vice. + +It can not be disputed that lack of exercise is the cause of ailments +that have a marked effect upon the moral character. + +Since physical laziness always goes hand in hand with mental apathy, it +follows that a dread of exerting oneself is always to be found coupled +with a hatred of being forced to think. + +It is, therefore, essential for the man who would acquire poise to +fortify himself in advance against physical weaknesses which, by +undermining his will-power, will soon furnish him with the most +plausible reasons for losing interest in the steady application that is +needed for accomplishing his purpose. + +In achieving the conquest of poise certain physical exercises, practised +every day, and vigorously followed out, will be found of considerable +help. + +Before discussing the practical methods which are at once their +starting-point and their result, we will consider in turn the series of +exercises that must be performed each day in order to keep oneself in +the condition of physical well-being which allows of the accomplishment +of moral reform. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FOUR SERIES OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES + + +FIRST SERIES--BREATHING + +The point of departure for the cultivation of poise, like that of +everything else in fact, must be a well-ordered system of hygiene, far +removed from excess, and insisting only upon the points we have already +indicated. + +Without wishing to fall into the well-known error of so many modern +teachers, who assign an exaggerated importance to breathing exercises, +we must, nevertheless, admit the great rôle that respiration plays in +physical balance. + +We are now speaking, understand, of methodical breathing, we might +almost term it "reasoned" breathing. + +Every one, of course, breathes without being aware of it from the moment +of his birth to the hour of his death, but very few people are aware how +to increase the power and to enlarge the capacity of their lungs. + +Nevertheless, upon these conditions it is that activity depends, as well +as the health and the energy that enables us to consecrate ourselves to +the pursuit of a definite aim. + +Without having to lay claim to a vast knowledge of medicine one can +discover that all repeated exercise tends to strengthen the organ that +is employed. + +Thus, well-directed and carefully practised breathing gives the heart a +stronger beat and facilitates the action of the lungs. + +From these arises a general feeling of physical well-being, which tends +to the preservation of good health and stores up the energy we need to +carry out our resolves. + +It is, then, advisable to devote several minutes every day to breathing +exercises, not merely automatic, but purposeful and under thorough +control. + +To accomplish this there are two methods. + +The first, very easy of comprehension, is to lie down on one's back and +to breathe deeply with the mouth closed and the nostrils dilated. + +As much air as can be held must be taken into the lungs, then the mouth +must be opened and the air must be allowed to escape gradually. + +During this operation one should pay particular attention to expanding +the walls of the chest, while flattening the stomach. + +About twenty deep respirations are required to accomplish the desired +effect. + +Little by little the lungs will dilate and one will unconsciously +increase the length of the inspiration and the slowness with which the +air is expelled. + +The second method consists in standing erect, with the head thrown +slightly back. The lungs should then be filled with air and one should +count mentally up to five or even ten before exhaling the air that has +been breathed in. + +It is advisable that when exhaling one should utter a continuous hum, +which must be absolutely free from trembling when one has practised it +properly. + +People who have practised this exercise have often stated that this +method of breathing has been of great help to them when much fatigued as +well as a first-class stimulus in moments when all their physical powers +were to be called into play. + +A well-known college professor has assured us that every day, before +giving his lectures, he makes use of this exercise. He claims that he +has thus gained a freedom of breathing the good effects of which are +manifest in the facility with which he is able to give his lecture and +in his general feeling of ease. Rendered quite free from any suspicion +of nervousness, he feels that he is completely master of himself and in +a fit state of moral and physical health to employ the poise that is +essential to the man who has to instruct and to convince others. + +Deep breathing has the further advantage of developing the lungs, of +strengthening them, and at the same time of making their ordinary +functioning more regular. + +The man who practises this exercise will have much less propensity to +get out of breath. This will be a great assistance to those timid people +who are disconcerted by trifles and who, at the least little occurrence, +become so much affected by emotion that they experience a sensible +acceleration of the action of the heart. + +Palpitation can not take place without causing us physical discomfort, +and this condition is a serious stumbling-block in the way of the +acquisition of poise, for, in view of the great stress the man of +timidity lays upon the opinion of others, he will be apprehensive of +giving them any inkling of his distress, and yet his difficulty in +breathing will be bound to reveal it. + +The exercise of which we have been speaking should be performed with +care twice a day. + +For those whose leisure hours are few it can be accomplished without +losing any of the time which is already preempted by other things. + +It is merely a question of remembering it as soon as one wakes in the +morning and of never forgetting it before one falls asleep at night. + +The few minutes between the moment that one wakes and the time one gets +out of bed can be most profitably employed in this way. + +The same thing is true at night. + +If the occupations of the day and of the evening leave us no time to +devote to this exercise, we can always go through it in the moments +between retiring to bed and falling asleep. + +It will thus be seen that there is really no valid excuse for not +undertaking this practise, whose effects will certainly be most +beneficial. + + +SECOND SERIES--TRAINING OF THE EYE + +But our physical efforts must not stop here. + +It is more than necessary that we should make others feel the effects of +the mastery that we are slowly acquiring over ourselves. + +The eye is an invaluable assistant to the man who is studying to acquire +poise. + +It is not necessary here, in connection with the magnetic properties of +the eye, to enter into a digression too extensive for the scope of this +book, but we can not neglect this one more-than-important factor +altogether. + +We are speaking now not only of the power in the gaze of others but of +that of our own eyes in relation to our associates. + +We must do our best, in fine, to develop the power of our gaze, while +studying to fortify ourselves against the influence brought to bear upon +us in this direction by others. + +One frequently notices, especially in the case of people who are timid, +a propensity to lose their powers of resistance with those who are able +to fix them with a steady stare. + +One has often seen people who lack will-power emerging completely upset +from the grueling of an interview in which they have admitted everything +that they had most fervently resolved never to disclose. + +A superior force has dominated them to such an extent that they have +found it impossible to conduct the discussion in the way they had +planned to do it. + +The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must, then, be on his +guard against betraying himself under the magnetism of some one else's +gaze. + +At the same time he must cultivate his own powers of the eye, so that +he, too, can possess that ability against which, in others, he must be +careful to protect himself, and can utilize it for his own ends. + +The first principle is to avoid looking directly into the pupils of +one's interlocutor. + +This is the only way in which a beginner can avoid being affected by the +magnetism of the gaze. + +By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon +the supernatural. + +We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced +by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady +stare. + +Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are +quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, +and finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape +from the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to +dictate the words that they must utter. + +One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself to become swayed by the +gaze of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes +constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the +face of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the +magnetic effect of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his +nose directly between his eyes. + +When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, +for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one +will quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating. + +But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too +fixedly. + +It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic +point." + +In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and +particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking +steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked +effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will. + +Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the +possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the +ordinary applications of poise. + +One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first and later +on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that the eye +can remain fixt upon it without discomfort. + +For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant +object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness. + +We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a +matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer +than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise. + +One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One +should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be +kept steady and the pupils motionless. + +If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest +winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again. + +It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to +keep it up for more than a few seconds. + +After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the +time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least +four or five minutes of perfect fixity. + +In order to keep count of the time that is passing, as well as to keep +control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a +way that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every +two numbers. + +When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other +exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the +head slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from +this point for a moment. + +It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have +been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test. + +To do this, one must take up a position in front of a glass and fix +one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it +to the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep +it there immovably. + +At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose. +The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some +slight difficulty in breaking away from it. + +For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a +predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once +transferred to the bridge of the nose. + +These exercises of the eye will be found particularly beneficial for +people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as aside from the advantages +we have specified, they have the effect of strengthening the will-power, +which will be found to have materially gained by this means. + +When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels +oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at +the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it +will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely +associated. + +One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, +to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of +that of other people. + + +THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE + +Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle +against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of +timidity. + +Let us make ourselves clear. + +Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious +embarrassment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements. + +Others fall into this embarrassment as the result of exhibitions of +clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of +renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which +they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in +their gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness. + +It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant +conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of +weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement. + +We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public. + +The most embarrassed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in +a fashion quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends. + +It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a +habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the +person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, +the awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame +at his own expense. + +In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it +can be arrived at, without a shadow of doubt, if our advice is +faithfully followed out. + +It is an obvious truth that the repetition of any act diminishes the +emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance. + +Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of +movement and to extend its scope. + +Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in +bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to +our advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to +devote five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the +acquirement of an easy carriage from the frequent repetition of certain +movements. + +For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as +possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by +jerky movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be +every day made a little more extended. + +While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect +arch. + +Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's +steps of even length and one's body erect. + +One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed on the +pretext of lack of time. + +Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other +movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every +day with regularity and conscientiousness. + +The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out +while we are dressing. + +Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, +and repeat it in front of the glass while observing yourself carefully, +to be sure that your face shows no sign of embarrassment and that you do +not stammer or hesitate in any way. + +If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop +and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able +to enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of +hesitation. + +You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which +disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the assurance +that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying +attention to their own lack of composure. + +Finally, from the moment of rising, as well as when brushing his hair, +tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to +acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his +movements more supple and to invest them with grace. + +Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without +exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without +looking directly ahead of him. + +If this attitude is a difficult one for him when commencing, he can, at +the start, assign a certain time for observing this position, and +gradually increase its length, until he feels no further inconvenience. + +The feeling of obvious awkwardness is a large factor in the lack of +poise. + +It is then a matter of great importance to modify one's outward +carriage, while at the same time applying oneself to the conquest of +one's soul, so as to achieve the object not only of actually becoming a +man who must be reckoned with, but of impressing every one with what one +is, and what one is worth. + + +FOURTH SERIES--SPEAKING EXERCISES + +Is it really necessary to point out what a weight readiness of speech +has in bringing about the success of any undertaking? + +The man who can make a clever and forceful speech will always convince +his hearers, whatever may be the cause he pleads. + +Do we not see criminals acquitted every day solely because of the +eloquence of their lawyers? + +Have we not often been witnesses to the defeat of entirely honest people +who, from lack of ability to put up a good argument, allow themselves to +be convicted of negligence or of carelessness, if of nothing worse? + +Eloquence, or at least a certain facility of speech, is one of the gifts +of the man of poise. + +One reason for this is that his mind is always fixt upon the object he +wishes to attain by his arguments, which eliminates all wandering of the +thoughts. + +But there is another reason, a purely physical one. The emotions +experienced by the timid are quite unknown to him and he is not the +victim of any of the physical inhibitions which, in affecting the +clearness of their powers of speech, tend to reduce them to confusion. + +Stammering, stuttering, and all the other ordinary disabilities of the +speaker, can almost without exception be attributed to timidity and to +the nervousness of which it is the cause. + +We shall see in the next chapter how these defects can be cured. + +In this, which is devoted specially to physical exercises, we will give +the mechanical means for overcoming these grave defects. + +Just as soon as the difficulties of utterance have been overcome, and +one is no longer in terror of falling into a laughable blunder, and thus +has no further reason to fear, when undertaking to speak, that one will +be made fun of because the object of disconcerting mockery, one's ideas +will cease to be dammed up by this haunting dread and can take shape in +one's brain just as fast as one expresses them. + +Clearness of conception will be reflected in that of what we say, and +poise will soon manifest itself in the manner of the man who no longer +feels himself to be the object of ill-natured laughter. + +One should set oneself then every morning to the performance of +exercises consisting of opening the mouth as wide as one possibly can +and then shutting it, to open it once more to its fullest extent, and so +on until one becomes fatigued. + +This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those +who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as "heavy jaw." + +One should next endeavor to pronounce every consonant with the utmost +distinctness. + +If certain consonants, as _s_, for example, or _ch_, are not enunciated +clearly, one should keep at it until one pronounces them satisfactorily. + +Now one should construct short sentences containing as many difficult +consonants as possible. + +Next we should apply ourselves to declaiming longer sentences. + +It will be of help to have these sentences constitute an affirmation of +will-power and of poise. + +For example: "I can express myself with the greatest possible facility, +because timidity and embarrassment are complete strangers to me." + +Or again: "I am a master of the art of clothing my thoughts in elegant +and illuminating phrases, because stammering, stuttering, and all the +other misfortunes that oppress the timid, are to me unknown quantities." + +We can not insist too strongly upon the cumulative effect of words which +are constantly repeated. It is a good thing to impress oneself with +forceful ideas that make for courage and for achievement. + +Distrust of self being the principal defect of the timid, the man who +would acquire poise must bend every effort to banishing it from his +thoughts. + +The repetition of these sentences, by building up conviction, will +undoubtedly end by creating a confidence in oneself that will at first +be hesitating, but will gradually acquire force. This is a great step in +advance on the road toward poise. + +We are discussing, it should be understood, only such cases of +difficulty in speaking as are directly traceable to an inherent +timidity. + +If the inability to speak clearly comes from a physical malformation it +should at once be brought to the attention of a specialist. + +It is well recognized that, in the majority of cases, those defects are +the consequences of timidity, when they are not its direct cause. + +In combating them, then, with every means at his disposal, the man who +desires to acquire poise will prove the logicality of his mind. It is a +well-known axiom that effects are produced by causes, and _vice versa_. + +Thus, in the case we are considering, timidity either causes the +difficulty in speaking or is caused by it. In the first condition as +well as in the second, the disappearance of the one trouble depends upon +the eradication of the other. + + + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR OBTAINING POISE + + +COMPOSURE + +One of the essential conditions of acquiring poise is to familiarize +oneself with the habit of composure. + +Timid people know nothing of its advantages. They are always ill at +ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censures, and +completely upset by the idea of the least initiative. + +Their mania leads them to exaggerate the smallest incident. A trifle +puts them in a panic, and at the mere notion that strangers have +perceived this they become quite out of countenance and are possest by +but one idea, to avoid by flight the repetition of such unpleasant +emotions. + +A quite useless attempt, for in whatever retirement people who lack +poise may live, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the +small embarrassments of every-day life, which, in their eyes, will soon +take on the guise of disasters. + +Composure should, then, be the first achievement in the way of +self-conquest to be aimed at by the man who is desirous of attaining +poise. + +But, it will be objected, composure is a condition that is not familiar +to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of disposition. Every +one who wishes for it can not attain to it. + +This is an error. In order to possess composure, that is to say the +first step in the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the +proportions of things, it must be achieved, or developed, if we happen +to be naturally inclined thereto. + +To accomplish this, deep-breathing exercises are often recommended by +the philosophers of the new school. + +They advise those who are desirous of cultivating it to make no +resolution, to commit themselves to no impulsive action, without first +withdrawing into themselves and taking five or six deep breaths in the +manner we have described in the preceding chapter. + +This has the physical effect of reducing the speed with which the heart +beats and, as a result, of relaxing the mind and quieting one's nerves. + +During the two or three minutes thus employed one's enthusiasm wanes and +one's ideas take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning +impulses no longer fill the brain to the extent of inhibiting the +entrance of sober second thought. + +But this is only an adventitious means of prevention. We will now speak +of those which should become a matter of daily practise and whose +frequent repetition will lead to the poise we seek. + +Every one whose profession makes it necessary to cultivate his memory +recognizes the importance of studying at night. Phrases learned just +before going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They +remain latent in the brain and spring up anew in the morning without +calling for much trouble to revive them. + +For this reason it is well to retire to rest in a mental attitude of +deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky movement and +constraining oneself to lie perfectly quiet. + +At the same time one should keep on repeating these words: + +"I am composed. I propose to be composed. I am composed!" + +The constant reiteration of these words constitute a species of +suggestion, and peace will steal gradually into our souls and will +permit us to think quietly, without the risk of becoming entangled in +disordered fancies, or, what is far worse, falling a prey to vain and +unavailing regrets. + +Those who doubt the efficacy of this proceeding can be readily convinced +by proving to them the tremendous power of mere words. + +Certain of these electrify us. Such words as patriotism, revolt, blood, +always produce in us an emotion of enthusiasm or disgust. + +Others again are productive of color, and one must admit that the +constant repetition of an assurance ultimately leads to the creation of +the condition that it pictures to us. + +But to make the assertion to oneself, "I am composed," is not all that +is necessary. One must prove to oneself that one is not glossing over +the truth. + +The readiest means of accomplishing this, which is open to every one who +has any regular interests, is to mentally review the words and the +actions of the day, and to pass judgment upon them from the point of +view of the quality one is striving to attain. + + +DAILY SELF-EXAMINATION + +One should convince oneself as soon as possible of the truth of the fact +that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that +firmness of judgment that must be cultivated by the man who is in search +of poise. + +In order to reach this condition nothing is more easy than to pass in +mental review, every evening, the events that have marked the day that +has passed. + +In a word, one should strive to relive it, honestly confessing to +oneself all the mistakes that have crept into it. + +Every unfortunate speech should be recalled. One should formulate fresh +replies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so +that under similar circumstances we may not be again caught at a +disadvantage. + +The witty name of "doorstep repartee" has been given to these answers +which one makes as afterthoughts, with the idea of expressing the +embarrassment of the man who can find no arguments until he finds +himself beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, +when one is on the doorstep, that one suddenly recognizes what one ought +to have said, and finds the phrases that one should have used, the exact +retort that one might have hurled at one's antagonist. + +The man who has acquired poise should still accustom himself to practise +this force of mental gymnastics when making his daily self-examination. + +It will strengthen him for future contests by teaching him just how to +conduct himself. + +He must be always on his guard against one of the obsessions that too +often afflict the timid--the mania for extremes. + +The nature of a timid person is essentially artificial. His character is +unequal. + +He yearns for perfection, yet it is painful for him to meet it in +others. He suffers also because he has failed to acquire it himself. + +Sometimes he is his own most severe judge and then on other occasions he +is grossly indulgent to his faults. + +His isolation causes him to construct ideals that can not possibly be +realized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who +fall short of them, while making no effort to duplicate their struggles. + +He makes the sad mistake, as we have seen in the chapter on effrontery, +of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry at his inability +to make other people see them in the same light. + +He is, moreover, of a very trustful disposition and prone to the making +of confidences. But when he attempts them his infirmity prevents him and +he suffers under the inhibition. + +All his mental processes, as we have seen, tend toward hypochondria, +unless his sense of truth can be called into play. + +One can easily see then that this daily self-examination can be made +quite a difficult affair by all these conflicting tendencies. + +It is for this very reason that it is so necessary that this examination +should be rigorously undertaken every day and with all the good faith of +which we are possest. + +It is because they do not ignore their own weaknesses that the men +endowed with poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," +that is to say people who are masters of a power that renders them +superior to the rest of the world. + + +RESOLUTION + +After as minute and as honest an examination as we can make of our own +actions, it will be of great benefit to make definite resolutions for +the morrow. + +This is a matter of great importance. + +The timid man, by seriously resolving to perform the actions that he +ought and by planning the accomplishment of some definite step, will +unconsciously strengthen his own will-power. + +He will increase it still more by making up his mind to leave no stone +unturned to conquer himself. + +For instance, he proposes to make a certain journey, or to pay a certain +call, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to +himself: "To-morrow I will go there! I will carry the thing through with +assurance!" + +Conceding the magnetic power of words, the acquisition of courage and of +confidence are necessary corollaries. + +Ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep +develop during the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow +present themselves to us quite naturally in the guise of a duty much +less hard to perform than we had imagined. + +In the case where such a resolution awakens an unpleasant emotion in the +hearts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that +tend to composure and should seek the aid of the means we have indicated +for attaining it. + + +PREPARATION + +In order to strengthen one's resolution it is a good thing every morning +to map out one's day, for the purpose of acquiring poise. + +All one's combinations should be worked out with this valuable conquest +in mind. + +After having committed oneself to a definite plan, one should analyze +each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into account all the +peculiarities that are likely to characterize them. + +If one is to have an interview, one should carefully prepare one's +introductory remarks, paying particular attention to one's line of +action, to one's method of presentation, and the words upon which one +relies to obtain an affirmative reply to one's request. + +One should take the precaution to have one's speeches mentally prepared +in advance, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and +convincing fashion that one does not find oneself in a state of +embarrassment fatal to recollecting them. + +It is better to make them as short as possible. One is then much less +likely to become confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering +or stuttering, which are always accompaniments of the fear of being left +without an idea of what to say next. + +Besides this, long speeches are always irritating, and it is a sign of +great lack of address to allow oneself to acquire the reputation of +being a bore. + +To make sure of one's facial expression and gestures it may be well to +repeat one's speeches in front of a mirror. + +One can then enact one's entry into the room in such a way as to foresee +even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of making a +failure at the start will no longer have a bad effect upon one. + +We have heard of a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his +situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused +that he forgot to leave his streaming umbrella in the outer office. + +It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being +able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at +perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, +were by no means to the benefit of the floor. + +His despair at the sight of the rivulets that, running from his +umbrella, spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, +prevented him from thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. +His native awkwardness became all the worse at this and, utterly unable +to proffer any but the most confused excuses, he fled from the office of +his chief leaving the latter in a high state of irritation. + +He was replaced by some one else at the first opportunity, on the +pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left +in the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity. + +It should be added that this man was more than ordinarily intelligent +and that his successor was by no means his equal. + +It is, therefore, absolutely necessary for those who are lacking in +presence of mind to accustom themselves to a species of rehearsal before +undertaking any really important step. + +Does this imply that they must think of nothing but weighty affairs and +neglect occasions for social meetings? + +By no means. To those who are distrustful of themselves every occasion +is a pretext for avoiding action. + +They should, therefore, take pains to seek every possible opportunity of +cultivating poise. + +The entering of a theater; the walking into a drawing-room; the +acknowledging of a woman's bow; every one of these things should be for +them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily +self-examination leaves them satisfied with themselves, it will be a +cause of much encouragement to them. + +If, on the other hand, they have received a rebuff due to their lack of +poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for this, in order +to guard against such an occurrence in the future. + +A good preparatory exercise is to choose those of our friends whose +homes are unpretentious and who have few callers. + +Let us make up our minds to pay them a visit, which, in view of the +quietude of its associations, is not likely to awaken in us any grave +emotions. + +To carry this off well we should make all our preparations in advance. + +One should say to oneself: "I will enter like this," while rehearsing +one's entrance, so as not to be caught napping at the outset. + +One should go on to plan one's opening remarks, an easy enough matter +since one will be speaking to people one knows very well. + +One should then decide as to the length of one's call. + +One makes up one's mind, for instance, to get up and say good-by at the +end of a quarter of an hour. + +One should foresee the rejoinder of one's host, whether sincere or +merely polite, which will urge one to prolong one's visit, and for this +purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as work to do or a +business engagement, and one should prepare beforehand the phrase +explaining this. + +Finally, one should study to make one's good-bys gracefully. + +It might be as well, while we are at it, to prepare a subject of +conversation. + +Generally speaking, the events of the day form the topic of discussion +on such visits, whose good-will does not always prevent a certain amount +of boredom. + +It will be, then, an easy matter to prepare a few remarks on the +happenings of the day, on the plays that are running, or on the salient +occurrences of the week. + +It should be added that these remarks should express opinions of such a +nature as not to wound anybody's feelings. + +The man who seeks the conquest of poise will not expose himself to the +risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be compelled +either to remain silent or to make an exhibition of himself. + +To do this would be to strike a serious blow at his resolution to +persevere. + +The one idea of the aspirant to poise should be above all things never +to risk a failure. + +Such a check will rarely be a partial one. It will have a marked effect +upon his proposed plan of educating his will-power by again giving rise +to that confusion which is always lurking in the background of the +thoughts of the timid and which is, moreover, the source of all their +ills. + +Another wise precaution consists in foreseeing objections and in +preparing such answers as will enable one to refute them. + +Eloquence is one of the most useful achievements of poise; it is also +the gift that best aids one to acquire it. + +It is, therefore, indispensable to train oneself to speak in a refined +and correct manner. + +The man who is sure of his oratorical powers will never be at a loss. He +will find conviction growing while he seeks to create it. + +We spoke in the preceding chapter of the mechanical exercises necessary +to make speaking an easy matter. + +We must not forget, however, that before one can speak one has to think. + +Words will spring of themselves to our lips the moment we have a +definite conception of the idea they serve to present. As a proof of +this contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, +while ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing themselves, +become suddenly clear, persuasive, and even eloquent when it comes to +discussing a subject in which they are deeply interested. + +The study of the art of speaking will become, then, for people of +timidity, over and above the mechanical exercises that we have +prescribed in a former chapter, a profound analysis of the subject upon +which they are likely to be called upon to express themselves. + +One should strive to describe things in short sentences as elegantly +phrased as possible. + +When the idea we wish to convey seems to be exprest in a confused +fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a change of phraseology +that will make it more concise and clear. + +But above all--above all, we must pull ourselves up short and begin over +again if any tendency to stammer, to hesitate, or to become confused, +begins to manifest itself. + +Just as soon as one feels more at one's ease one can seek to put in +practise all these special studies. + +Nothing is quite so disconcerting as the idea of stammering or stopping +short. + +For this reason it is imperative that one should begin all over again +the moment such an accident occurs. + +This is what prevents timid people from accomplishing anything. From the +moment of the first failure they become panic-stricken and can no longer +go on speaking connectedly. + +Those who would acquire poise must act quite otherwise. + +Instead of avoiding occasions of speaking in public, they should seek +for them. But first of all they must make some trials upon audiences who +are in sympathy with them. + +They should experiment upon their own families and should never fail to +enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can prepare the matter for a +short address or a friendly argument. + +If they find themselves stammering or panic-stricken, they must strive +to recall the phrase that caused the trouble and endeavor to repeat it +very emphatically without stuttering. + +For the rest, it is always a dangerous thing to talk too fast. Words +that are pronounced more slowly are always much better articulated, and +in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in +talking that attacks those whose education in the direction of the +acquiring of poise is not yet complete. + +One of the most important exercises in the search for poise consists in +accustoming oneself to speak slowly and very distinctly. + +If one stammers in the least degree, especially if this fault is due to +nervousness, one should begin again at the word which caused the +trouble, pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one +should incorporate it in one or two sentences and should not cease to +utter it until one can enunciate it clearly and without any trouble. + +In order to combine theory with practise, one should seek opportunities +for entering public assemblies, striving to do so without awkwardness. + +One should choose the time when the audience is not yet fully arrived, +since, unless one is very sure of oneself, it is a risky matter to +appear upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most +part assembled. By this means one is much more likely to be able to +emerge victorious from the ordeal of the stares of the curious. + +The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet +indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion +but as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he +happens to know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one +the thing that he ought to say. + +If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer +congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence +of mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He +will avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has +fallen out and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of +deformities to a man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while +leaving him free to exercise all his faculties, will give him the +opportunity to remember a thousand details, the performance as well as +the omission of which will create much sympathetic feeling toward him +among the people whom he meets. + +The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the +recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to be +made upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of +the relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person +to whom he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not +infrequently an indication of poise. + + +THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS + +But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe +that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, +that, like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming +them into hurtful indecision. + +The mere thought, "_I will succeed_," is in itself a condition of +success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies +this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am +determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!" + +Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you +must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with +your regrets. + +Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from +this moment I propose to think of it merely to remind myself of the +reasons why I failed. + +"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the +wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of +the same mistakes." + +Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate. + +The words "I have no luck" should be erased altogether from the +vocabulary of the man who proposes to acquire poise. + +It is the excuse in which weaklings and cowards indulge. + +Timid people are always complaining of the injustice of fate, without +stopping to think that they have themselves been the direct causes of +their own failures. + +The violet has often been quoted--and very improperly--as an example of +shrinking modesty which it would be well to imitate. + +It does not in the least trouble the phrase-makers and the followers of +the ideas that they have spread broadcast through the world that the +violet which hides timidly behind its sheltering leaves nearly always +dies unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. +The type that wins the admiration of the world is that, which, +disengaging itself from its leafy shield, springs up with a bound above +its green foliage just as men of poise rise triumphantly above the +accidents and the petty details which bury the timid under their heavy +fronds. + +If one were minded to carry out the comparison properly, it is far more +exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted +to the shade in which they hide for their puny and abortive appearance. + +The timid have then no sort of excuse for complaining of their ill-luck. + +To begin with, it is to their own defects solely that their obscurity is +due. + +Furthermore, by ceaselessly complaining, they gradually become absorbed +by these ideas of ill-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in +their detestation of effort and suggest to them the thought of +attempting nothing upon the absurd pretext that nothing they do can +succeed. + +One must add here--and this is extremely important--that in acting in +this way they always manage to provoke the hostile forces that are +dormant in everything and that array themselves the more readily against +such people because of their lack of the resolution to combat them and +the energy to overcome them. + +This is the reason why people who are gifted with poise find themselves +better qualified than others to succeed. + +Their faith is so beautiful and so convincing that it compels conviction +in others and seems to be able to dominate events. + +It is by no means an illusion to believe in the worth of this +confidence. People to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help +to others, their faith aiding and sustaining that of those who have +resolved to make an effort. + +However strong the soul of man may be, it is nevertheless subject to +hours of discouragement, to moments of despair, in which some comfort +and sympathy are needed. + +The man of resolution will recover from his failures the more easily the +more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosphere +of friendliness which will not allow his defeats to be made public. + +As mists are dispelled at the approach of the sun, the agony of doubt +will disappear in the genial warmth of the encouragement and the +confidence that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those +around him, and a sure faith will be given to him, the certain and +faithful guide to the road that leads onward to success. + + + + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE SUPREME ACHIEVEMENT + + +One must be most careful not to credit oneself with the possession of +poise while one is unable to encounter reverses without loss of +serenity. + +Every setback of this sort must be judged without bias and the proper +measures must be taken to prevent its recurrence. + +Every exuberant gesture, as well as every constrained and abortive +movement, must be the object of redoubled attention. + +This is the stumbling-block that brings so many timid people to grief. +They imagine that they have achieved the conquest of poise, while they +are really only deceiving themselves by the idea that they are giving a +good illustration of it. They become the victims of a peculiar type of +delusion akin to that of the cowards who deliberately invite danger +while trembling in every limb. + +The very fear of being considered cowards causes them to plunge into it +blindly without taking the trouble to reflect. They always overshoot the +mark, exposing themselves quite uselessly and achieving a result that is +entirely valueless to themselves or any one else. + +The man who is really master of himself will avoid such foolish +undertakings, retaining his powers for those that are likely to bear +fruit, whatever the quality of the success may be. + +It is an act of folly to deny the possibility of success because one is +discouraged at the very first obstacle. + +The greatest triumphs are never achieved without a struggle. The man who +obtains them does so only by virtue of the experience gained by repeated +efforts, none of which bore for him the fruit he desired. + +The better is merely a step along the road to the best. + +Perfection is, therefore, the result of many half successes. + +If one could hope to arrive at one stride at one's desired goal one's +efforts would be of no value, and mediocrity would very soon become the +sole characteristic of those who were possest by this idea. The man who +has had the wit to acquire poise will guard himself carefully from +falling into the error of the timid, who, haunted by an unappeased +longing for perfection, lose their courage at the first attempt. + +Does this imply that idealism must be banished from the thoughts of the +man of resolution? + +Not at all, if by the word ideal one understands what it actually means. + +A false meaning has been given to this word which has warped it from its +original sense. + +The ideal is not, as many people seem to think, an impossible dream +indulged in only by poets, and that has no active basis of reality. + +Lazy people abuse this word, which to their minds allows them to indulge +without shame in idle dreams that foster their indolence. + +The timid drape it about themselves like a curtain, behind which they +take refuge and in whose shadow they conceal themselves, thinking by so +doing to keep the vanity which obsesses them from being wounded. + +Devotees of false ideals clothe them too often with the tinsel of fond +illusion, under which guise they make a pretense of worshiping them. + +The true ideal, that which every man can carry in his heart, is +something much more tangible and matter of fact. + +For one it is worldly success. + +For another renown and glory. + +For men of action it is the end for which they strive. + +The ideal which each man should cultivate and strive after need by no +means be a narrow aim. + +It is an aspiration of which the loftiness is in no way affected by the +lowliness of the means employed to realize it. + +This word has too often been misused and exaggerated in the effort to +distort it from its philosophical meaning. + +In every walk of life, no matter how humble, it is possible to follow an +ideal. + +It is not an aim, to speak exactly, but still less is it a dream. It is +an aspiration toward something better that subordinates all our acts to +this one dominant desire. + +Every realization tends to the development of the ideal, which is +increased in beauty by each partial attainment. + +We have just said that the ideal of some men is the acquisition of a +fortune. It might be supposed, therefore, that such people, once they +have become rich, will abandon their aspirations for something more. + +The man who has this idea is very much in the wrong. + +The state of being permanently wealthy is one that opens new horizons, +hitherto closed. The doing of good, charity, the desire to better the +condition of those who still have to struggle, these will constitute a +higher and a no less attractive ideal. + +This does not take into consideration the instinct, innate in every +heart--and that the genius of the race has made a part of every one of +us--the desire of progressing. + +It is this desire that forms the ideal of fathers of families, building +up the futures of their children, in whom they see not only their +immediate successors, but those who are to continue their race, which +they wish to be a strong and virile one, in obedience to the eternal +desire for perpetuating themselves that haunts the hearts of men. + +It is quite evident that each gain has no need of being complete to bear +fruit. The thing to do is to multiply it, to make something more of it, +and to take it home to ourselves, in order to achieve the ultimate +result that is termed success. + +The man of resolution appreciates this fact perfectly, rejoicing in +every victory and taking each defeat as a means for gaining experience +that he will be able to use to his advantage when the occasion arises. + +The man of timidity, on the other hand, haunted by this desire for +perfection, cut off by his very aloofness from all chance of learning +the lesson of events, will be so thoroughly discouraged at the first +check, that he will draw back from any similar experience, preferring to +take refuge in puerile grumbling against the contrariety of things in +general. + +This attitude of mind can not outlast a few minutes of sensible +reflection. + +We wish to convey by the use of this term the idea of a process of +thought quite free from those vague dreams which are the sure +indications of feebleness, reveries in which things appear to us in a +guise which is by no means that which they really possess. + +The main characteristic of this state of mind is to exaggerate one's +disappointments while ignoring one's moments of happiness. + +It approximates very closely to the old fable of the crumpled rose-leaf +breaking the rest of the sybarite on his couch of silk. + +He has no thought of taking satisfaction or pleasure in the luxury that +surrounds him. He does not congratulate himself on his wealth, nor upon +the comforts he possesses and that he values so highly. He thinks of +nothing but the little crumpled petal which causes him imaginary +distress, and all his faculties are absorbed by this petty detail. + +The man of resolve will pay no attention to such trifles as this. They +will touch him not at all unless they assume the rôle of the grain of +sand in the working-parts of a machine, which prevents it from running. +He is wise enough to be able to estimate a situation sensibly, taking +account of the drawbacks but at the same time realizing all the +advantages that accrue from it. + +At these advantages he will be pleased and will seek to get the maximum +of good out of each one of them. If he thinks of the disadvantages at +all, it will be merely in order to find a way to diminish them and to +rob them of their power to harm him. + +Such are the benefits of reflection and of concentration which, when +practised in a rational manner, will do more than anything else to help +one to the attainment of poise. + +Weak indulgence toward one's own failings will be rejected by the +strong. To know oneself thoroughly is a good way to improve oneself, and +the knowledge that one is not mistaken as to one's actual merits is of +considerable help in acquiring poise. + +It is for this reason that the habit of daily self-examination, that we +recommended in the preceding chapter, develops, in the man who submits +himself to it, faculties of judgment so keen that it is an easy matter +for him to become his own educator in the path to betterment. + +One great disadvantage of lack of proper concentration is that it gives +to the subject one is anxious to study an importance greater than it +really has. + +Passion is too often an accompaniment of this form of reflection, +emotions are aroused, and the nerves become active factors in distorting +the real meanings and value of the things we are considering. + +The remedy in this case is a very simple one. An effort of will, will +readily banish the subject which is causing us too profound emotion by +the simple process of turning the thoughts to some subject that will +cause us no such disturbances. + +Later on, when the emotions of the moment have passed, one can return to +the former train of thought, forcing oneself to examine it with +calmness. + +Some amount of practise will be needed to acquire this mastery of one's +thoughts, the parent of poise, which is nothing more than courage based +upon solid reason. + +It may happen that the desire to follow a line of thought that causes us +excessive emotion may lead to the inroad of a horde of secondary ideas, +which press one upon the other without any perceptible continuity, +carrying with them neither conviction nor illumination. + +Reveries of this sort are dangerous enemies of poise. They lead one +nowhere, and create in us habits which are not controlled by reason or +common sense. + +If such thoughts should assail us, the sole means of avoiding injury +from them is to repulse them instantly, the moment one becomes conscious +of them, and to banish the chaos of scattered fancies by devoting one's +whole mind to a single dominant thought that should be associated with +the determination to obtain the mastery over oneself. + +We have already suggested to the timid the advantage of foreseeing the +objections that are likely to be made to what they may say. The mere +fact that they have already formulated a mental answer will be a great +assistance to the making of a successful retort. + +To avoid still further risks of being confronted by a contradiction that +may put them at a loss they will do well to adopt the following plan. + +Let them put themselves in the place of the person to whom they plan to +speak and then ask themselves if, under these circumstances, they will +not find some objection to offer to the proposition concerned. + +If they discover by this means that, in his place, they would be likely +to find such and such difficulties, it must be with this fact in their +minds that they devote themselves to the better preparation of their +arguments or, if necessary, to modifying the force if not the content of +the reasoning upon which they rely to carry conviction. + +These objections, as we have already advised, should be uttered aloud, +so that we may the better perceive their logic, and also to allow of our +repeating them a second time, the ability to accomplish which will be a +great encouragement to us. + +There is no reason, in fact, for believing that we can not repeat on the +morrow, just as perfectly as we have exprest it to-day, a statement that +we have made with clearness both of reasoning and of diction. + +Contact with men and with affairs should be sought after by the aspirant +for poise. + +He will be the gainer by watching the destruction of his exaggerated +ideas and his false conceptions, which have all arisen from solitary +thought. + +An essential point is to become accustomed to the necessity for action. + +Far from avoiding this, one should seize every occasion to utilize it to +one's advantage. + +The determined student should even create opportunity for so doing, +which, in forcing him to break down his reserve, will make it necessary +for him to come to definite decisions and to carry them out. + +Every chance to exhibit real and honest activity should be seized by +him. + +Between two decisions, equally favorable to him, of which one will leave +him to his peaceful retirement and the other will involve active +measures, he should not hesitate for a moment. + +He will make choice of that which will compel him to exhibit physical +activity. + +It is, however, important that manifestation of purposeless energy +should be rigidly represt. They are always harmful to one's equilibrium +and to the qualities needed for the attainment of poise. + +One should never forget the well-known proverb: + +"Speech is silver, but silence is golden." + +Silence, in a vast number of instances, is the indisputable proof of the +empire that one has over oneself. + +To be able to keep quiet and to close one's lips until the moment when +reflection has enabled us to discipline our too-violent emotions, is a +quality that belongs only to those who have obtained the mastery over +themselves. + +The weak become excited, indulge in protests, and expend themselves in +angry denunciations that use up the energy they should retain for active +measures. + +The man of resolution is most careful not to allow it to be known at +what point he has been wounded. He keeps silence and reflects. + +Resolves form within his mind and, when he at last is ready to speak, it +is to utter some firm decision or to put forward arguments that are +unanswerable. + +To tell the truth, those who instantly and noisily voice their +antagonisms, who, under the sting of a hurt to their vanity indulge in +threats of violence, are actually dangerous. + +Their accusations, dictated by anger and heightened by the sense of +their own inferiority, are always characterized by impotence. + +They make people smile, provoke perhaps a little pity, but never cause +any fear. + +They are like the toy guns of children, which have the air of being most +deadly weapons, but which are constructed of such fragile materials that +a vigorous blow will cause them to fall to pieces. + +The self-control of the man of resolution in the face of insult and +provocation is far more impressive than these idle threats. + +His silence is ominous. It is a sort of mechanical calm which produces +decisions from which all passion is excluded. + +His answers, well thought out and adapted exactly to the circumstances +of the case, impress one by their coldness and by their tone of +finality. His words are always followed by deeds, and are the more +weighty for the fact that one knows that they are merely preliminary to +the actions that they foretell. + +This is one of the marked advantages of those who possess poise, one of +various methods of conquering and dominating the minds of others. + +There are other strong points belonging to those who cultivate poise, +which, judiciously employed, unite in giving them an incontestable +superiority over the majority of the people they meet. + +The man of poise will not be overgay or too boisterous. Still less will +he be taciturn. Moody people are nearly always those who are convinced +of their own lack of ability and quite certain that the rest of the +world is in a conspiracy to make them miserable. + +They lack all pride and make no bones about admitting themselves to be +defeated. + +These, we must admit, are rather difficult conditions in which to effect +anything worth while. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," M.B. Dangennes tells us that one day +a party of men agreed to undertake a journey, the object of which was to +attain a most wonderful country. + +"There were a great many of them at the start, but only a few days had +passed when their ranks became sensibly depleted. + +"Certain members of the party, the timid ones, who were encumbered with +a load of useless scruples, soon succumbed to the weight of their +burdens. + +"Others, the fearful ones, became panic-stricken at the difficulties +they encountered in battling with the earlier stages of the journey. + +"The modest, after several days' marching, fell to the rear, from fear +of attracting too much attention, and were very soon lost sight of. + +"The careless, wearied by their efforts, took to resting in the ditches +along the road, and ate all their store of provisions for the journey +without worrying at all about the time when they might be hungry. + +"The braggarts and the boasters, after exhibiting a temporary +enthusiasm, gave out at the first dangers encountered on the march. + +"The curious, instead of striving to maintain the courage of those who +walked at the head of the column, kept leading them into difficulties, +in which many of the foremost were lost. + +"The rash were greatly reduced in numbers by their own foolhardiness. + +"The final result was that only a handful of men, after many weary days +and nights, reached the Eden that they had set out to attain. + +"These men were disciples of energy, those to whom this virtue had given +courage, ambition, the self-control and the self-mastery needed to +vanquish and overcome the perils of the way; those who, by their cool +and courageous bearing, had been able to impress upon their companions, +now become their disciples, the indomitable hardihood with which they +were themselves filled." + +We see in this fable how all the qualities of poise worked together for +the accomplishment of the destined end. + +First courage, which must not be confounded either with rashness or with +effrontery. + +Courage, the perfect manifestation of confidence in oneself. + +This quality is at the bottom of all great enterprises, of which all the +risks, however, have been carefully considered in advance. + +The man of courage does not deceive himself as to the dangers of the +deeds he has determined to perform. He accepts them bravely. He has +foreseen them all, and he knows how to act in order to turn them to his +own advantage. + +The coolness characteristic of all men of poise gives them the power of +estimating wisely how things are likely to turn out. + +They do not fail to appreciate the importance of certain circumstances, +to realize their bearing, and to admit the dangers to which they may +give rise. Thus they are ready for the fray and are armed at all points +for a well-considered defense. + +Shame on the superficial people who close their eyes in order not to see +the obstacles that their own lack of foresight has prevented them from +anticipating. + +Let us press back the timid; declare war on the boasters; show our +contempt for the inveterately modest (who are only so to flatter their +own vanity); express our hatred of the envious, who are always +incapable; distrust the slothful; and arm ourselves with a justifiable +pride, which, by imparting to us a sense of our merits, will enable us +to acquire poise, true index of those who are legitimately sure of +themselves and are conscious of their sterling worth. + +But, above all, let us raise in our inmost hearts a temple to reason, +the author of that quiet confidence that makes success a certainty. + +This is the work of the man who has achieved the conquest of poise. It +is the one particular evidence of this priceless quality. + +Poise, by inspiring its possessor with a belief in his merits, that is +productive of good resolutions, enables him to employ in relation to +himself the fine art of absolutely sincere reasoning. + +There are, as is well-known, many ways of looking at things. + +Every thing has several sides and, in accordance with the angle at which +we examine it, seems to us more or less favorable. + +The superficial man only sees things, and only _wants_ to see them, from +the viewpoint of his own desires. + +To the morose man all their contours appear distorted. + +The optimist, on the contrary, carefully changes their outlines. + +Only to the man who makes a practise of rational thinking comes a true +vision of both the good and the bad that exist in everything. + +This science of reasoning is the base of all deductive processes, that, +in strengthening the judgment, aid in the formation of poise. + +Without reason the scaffolding of the most splendid resolves falls to +the ground. + +Without reason we wander aimlessly in bypaths instead of following the +broad highway. + +Without reason, in short, we become guilty of injustice, not only toward +others, but still more toward ourselves, since we can not form a correct +estimate of our own characters. + +It is reason which enables us to choose the happy mean that leaves the +country of fear to reach the goal of reserve, and follows it to the +extreme limit of poise without ever encroaching upon the territory of +effrontery. + +It is poise alone that enables us to communicate to others the qualities +which we possess. + +This has ever been the gift of men of genius, of those who could enforce +their doctrines and impose them upon others by the sheer strength of +their attitude and the way in which they analyzed and reasoned out all +their principles. + +What conviction can he hope to carry to his hearers who is not himself +persuaded of the truth of the theories he is presenting? + +This is the condition of those timid people who give their advice in the +same tone they would use to ask it. + +For this reason they never become expert. They rarely ever taste of +success and usually sink into a state of discontent and envy. + +This last fault is nearly always indulged in by the timid, whom it +soothes, not simply because of its maliciousness, but because envy seems +to them to condone their own inertia by giving them an excuse for their +lack of action. + +For people of mediocre mentality to deny the intelligence of others is +to bring them down into their own plane and saves them the effort of +climbing to that of their superiors. + +And since lack of sincerity toward themselves is always one of the +faults of those who are wanting in poise, they can not help feeling a +sentiment of jealousy toward those who have succeeded where they +themselves have failed. + +Instead of doing justice without bitterness to the superiority of others +by a determination to imitate it, they take the simpler course of +envying the good fortune of their neighbors and attribute it all to +luck. + +Whenever you hear any one expatiating upon what he calls the luck of +some one else, you may be sure that he is a person entirely deficient in +those qualities which could attract what he calls luck, but what is +really, in the majority of cases, merely the result of hard work based +upon a reasoned poise. + +Here we may add that this quality is often the key to good fortune, +since it permits the head of a family, who is possest of it to establish +about him sympathetic currents, based upon the confidence that he +inspires. + +It is a matter of common knowledge how courage communicates itself from +one to another. + +The man who dreads the idea of doing something will attempt it without +hesitation if he finds himself supported by some one who seems to have +no doubt as to the happy outcome of the enterprise. + +It is, therefore, most essential, in order to exercise a beneficent +influence upon his household, that the head of a family should be +possest of poise, which will awaken in them a sense of protection, while +at the same time making them aware of a kindly authority. + +It must not be inferred from this that every head of a family should +pose as being infallible. + +This would be a most foolish proceeding on his part. It would often +happen that circumstances, by proving his predictions untrue, would +destroy the faith in him that those in his household must possess. + +It is only the presumptuous and the egotistical who pride themselves on +their infallibility, as we have pointed out at length in preceding +chapters. + +The man of real poise will be more than careful not to pose as a +prophet, still less as an autocrat. + +He will study to establish about him an atmosphere of confidence suited +to the development and the strengthening of the bonds which unite him to +those of his household. + +Nothing is more touching than the blind faith shown by some children +toward their parents. + +People of timidity will never arouse a feeling of this sort. + +However real the affection of children may be for such parents, there +will always be mingled with it a modicum of indulgent pity, caused by +their distrust, if the parents happen to be people of timidity, of what +seem to them mediocre abilities. + +They will feel themselves more willingly attracted toward a stranger, if +his attitude toward life appears to be one that may support and assist +their weakness. Their affection for their parents will be in no way +diminished, but they will cease to regard them as being vitally +necessary to the harmony of their existence. + +This lack of trust that timidity occasions can result in very serious +misfortunes. + +In driving a child who seeks for some firm guidance to appeal to others +than his natural protectors, there is always the risk of his following a +method of education that is basically opposed to all the traditions of +the family. + +How many children are thrown in this way upon the tender mercies of a +teacher whose views of life, albeit perfectly honorable, are quite +opposed to the plans of the parents. + +Such people, instead of complaining of the conduct of the teacher and +crying out about the leading astray of their child, would do better to +question themselves and to ask their own hearts whether their children +have ever found in them the protection that is being given them by +others. + +We do not want to overwork the old fable of the oak and the ivy. +Nevertheless, it is to the point to remark that this plant attaches +itself to none but the most solid trunks, disdaining the Weaker saplings +that will bend beneath its weight and will, after a little while, force +it to return to the ground instead of helping it to climb into the air. + +The man endowed with poise plays in his own family the rôle of the oak +which lends the strength of its trunk as an aid to weakness, covering +with the shadow of its branches the feeble efforts that too hot a sun or +too violent a storm might easily bring to nothing. + +And if the storm should break it is the crest that it presents with +pride to the fury of the elements that will keep it from being itself +destroyed. + +It must also be remembered that the instinct of the Ego flourishes in +every one of us, often quite unconsciously, but always with sufficient +force to make it certain that this ego will be developed in the +direction in which it sees chances of support. + +We are not speaking here of mere egoism, which is a species of +acknowledgment of weakness that very young children are incapable of +making to themselves, but which those who are older will try to avoid. + +But there is no one, even among the most strong, who has not felt at +some time in his life the joy of finding counsel, moral support, or +protection, if only in the form of a hearty and energetic agreement with +his ideas. + +One can not wonder, therefore, that people of poise are able to draw to +themselves sympathies and devotion of which the timid are entirely +ignorant. + +We should add that poise, in giving one ease, imparts to the slightest +gesture a fittingness that constitutes a special grace, that one can not +always define, but where appearance can never be mistaken. + +It might be termed distinction. + +People of poise, whether they be homely or handsome, insignificant or +imposing, sickly or radiating health, all possess this enviable gift in +a marked degree. + +Distinction is the parent of victory. + +It conquers, for those who possess it, the greater part of their +adversaries, who lay down their arms without dreaming of offering +battle. + +Distinction impresses every one, both those who are deprived of it and +those who are possest of it. + +It is the most direct means of influencing others in the direction one +wishes them to take. + +It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no +harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power. + +Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when +it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate +in this book. + +False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those +mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler. + +At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like +his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away +little by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an +empty dream. This is invariably what happens when what appears to be +distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff. + +The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon +arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the +dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus +made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to +forgive him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with +the hurt to their wounded pride. + +Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes +from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve +it untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by +disappointments they may cause in others. + +If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness +or lack of character. + +Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their +energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very +defeats of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool +determination. + +The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, +while the recollection of past reverses makes them more wary and more +keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events. + +Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will +renew the confidence of all their friends. + +They are a power, and under this title they receive the homage of all. +Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay +their own weaknesses upon their strength. + +Their assistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of +being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have +near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat. + +Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when +its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of +her hand, it steps out with confidence. + +If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and +overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which +he really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down. + +Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of +spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities +similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fortitude that +approximates to theirs. + +They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls +with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, +misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will +combat it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to +beat a retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who +will yield to it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession +of him without a murmur. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT*** + + +******* This file should be named 13877-8.txt or 13877-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/8/7/13877 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Starke, +Translated by Francis Medhurst</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: Poise: How to Attain It</p> +<p>Author: D. Starke</p> +<p>Release Date: October 26, 2004 [eBook #13877]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT***</p> +<br /> +<br /> +<hr class="full" /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1"></a>[pg +1]</span><h3>MENTAL EFFICIENCY SERIES</h3> + +<h1>POISE</h1> + +<h2>HOW TO ATTAIN IT</h2> + +<h3>By D. STARKE</h3> + +<h4>TRANSLATED BY FRANCIS MEDHURST, D.LITT.</h4> + +<h4>AUTHORIZED EDITION</h4> + +<h4>"Poise is a power derived from the Mastery of Self"</h4> + +<h5>1916</h5> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2><a name='PREFACE'></a>PREFACE</h2> + + +<p>All efforts directed toward the correcting of temperamental or mental +blemishes or defects and nervous conditions are of benefit to humanity. In +producing this book the Author's purpose was to help mankind to overcome +these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental development, and +hinder personal advancement and general progress. The aim of the Publishers +in issuing this translation is to put into the hands of those who wish to +overcome their failings, become masters of themselves, and command the +attention and respect of others, a work that has been thoroughly tested +abroad and one that will be found of exceptional service in attaining the +end in view--the securing of a perfect balance.</p> + +<p>This book is written in two parts. The first points to the need of Poise +in daily life, indicates the obstacles to be overcome, and discusses the +effects of Poise on personal efficiency. The second instructs the reader +how to secure that evenness of temperament which is the chief +characteristic of Poise. It includes, in addition, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_4" id="Page_4"></a>[pg 4]</span>a series of practical physical +exercises to be used in acquiring Poise.</p> + +<p>If such a work as this is to do good, if the reader really wishes to +benefit by the advice that it gives him, it must be read thoughtfully and +diligently, not fitfully and forgetfully, and the reader most steadfastly +keep before him the maxim of the Author--"Poise is a power derived from the +Mastery of Self."</p> + +<p>THE PUBLISHERS.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5"></a>[pg 5]</span><hr /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2><a name='CONTENTS'></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<a href='#PREFACE'>Preface</a><br /> +<br /> +<a href='#PART_I'>PART ONE</a><br /> +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT<br /> +<br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_I'>I. The Need of Poise in Life</a><br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_II'>II. The Enemies of Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#CHAPTER_III'>III. War on Timidity</a><br +/> +<br /> +<a href='#PART_II'>PART TWO</a><br /> +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE<br /> +<br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_I'>I. Modesty and Effrontery Contrasted</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_II'>II. Physical Exercises to Acquire Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_III'>III. Four Series of Physical Exercises</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_IV'>IV. Practical Exercises for Obtaining Poise</a><br /> +<a href='#IICHAPTER_V'>V. The Supreme Achievement</a><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<h1><a name='PART_I'></a>PART I</h1> + +<h2>POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT</h2> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></a>[pg 8]</span> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9"></a>[pg 9]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_I'></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h3>THE NEED OF POISE IN LIFE</h3> + + +<p>Lack of poise has always been an obstacle to those who are imbued with +the desire to succeed.</p> + +<p>In every age the awkwardness born of timidity has served to keep back +those who suffered from it, but this defect has never been so great a +drawback as in the life of to-day.</p> + +<p>The celebrated phrase of the ancient Roman writer who said, "Fortune +smiles on the brave," could very well serve as our motto nowadays, with +this slight alteration: "Fortune smiles on those who are possest of +poise."</p> + +<p>At this point let us attempt an exact definition of poise.</p> + +<p>It is a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, +in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really +capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them.</p> + +<p>It is not a quality wholly simple. On the contrary, it is a composite of +many others all of which take part in the molding of that totality which +bears the name of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10"></a>[pg +10]</span>It may be well to pass in review the principal qualities of which +it is composed, that one may characterize as follows:</p> + +<p>Will.</p> + +<p>Reason.</p> + +<p>Knowledge of one's own value.</p> + +<p>Correctness of judgment.</p> + +<p>Sincerity toward oneself.</p> + +<p>The power of resisting the appeals of self-love.</p> + +<p>Contempt of adverse criticism.</p> + +<p>Pride that is free from vanity.</p> + +<p>A definite and clearly conceived ambition.</p> + +<p>Will, as is well known, is the pivot of all our resolutions, whether the +question for the moment be how to form them or how to keep them when +formed.</p> + +<p>A man without will-power is a straw, blown about by every wind and +carried, whether he will or no, into situations in which he has no valid +reason for finding himself.</p> + +<p>Without the will-power which enables us to take a firm hold of ourselves +and to get a grip upon our impressions, they will remain vague and nebulous +without presenting to us characters of sufficient definiteness to enable us +to direct them readily into the proper channels.</p> + +<p>It is will-power which gives us the force to <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_11" id="Page_11"></a>[pg 11]</span>maintain a resolution which +will lead us to the hoped-for goal of success.</p> + +<p>It is will-power also which enables us to correct the faults which stand +in the way of the acquiring of poise.</p> + +<p>We are not now speaking of those idle fancies which are no more than +manifestations of nervousness. We have in mind rather that controlled and +enduring purpose which arms the heart against the assaults of the emotions +by giving it the strength to overcome them.</p> + +<p>There are many cases even in which will-power has led to their entire +suppression.</p> + +<p>This happens more particularly in the case of those artificial emotions +that the man of resolution ignores completely, but which cause agony to the +timid who do not know how to escape them, and exaggerate them to +excess.</p> + +<p>This abnormal development of their personalities is the peculiarity of +the timid, which their fitful efforts of will only heighten, alienating +from them the sympathy which might be of assistance to them.</p> + +<p>They take refuge in a species of mischievous and fruitless activity, +leaving the field open to the development of all sorts of imaginary ills +that argument does not serve to combat.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12"></a>[pg +12]</span>Their ego, whose importance is in no way counterbalanced by their +appreciation of the friends they keep at a distance, fills their entire +existence to such an extent that they have no doubt whatever that, when +they are in public, every eye is, of necessity, fixt upon them.</p> + +<p>Their negative will leaves them at the mercy of every sort of emotion, +which, in arousing in them the necessity of a reaction they feel themselves +powerless to realize, reduces them to a state of inferiority that, when it +becomes known, is the source of grave embarrassment to them.</p> + +<p>The power of will which sustains those who wish to acquire the habit of +poise is, then, the capacity to accomplish acts solely because one has the +ardent desire to achieve them.</p> + +<p>We are now speaking, understand, neither of extreme heroism or of +impossibilities.</p> + +<p>Another point presents itself here. Willpower, in order to preserve its +energy, must be sustained and fixt. At this price alone can we achieve +poise. We must, therefore, thoroughly saturate ourselves with this +principle: Reasoning-power is an essential element in the upbuilding of +poise.</p> + +<p>It is reasoning-power which teaches us to distinguish between those +things that we must be <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" +id="Page_13"></a>[pg 13]</span>careful to avoid and those which are part +and parcel of the domain of exaggeration and fantasy.</p> + +<p>It is also by means of reasoning that we arrive at the proper +appreciation of the just mean that we must observe. It is by its aid that +we are enabled to disentangle those impulses that will prove profitable +from a chaos of useless risks.</p> + +<p>It is always by virtue of deductions depending upon reason that we are +able to adopt a resolution or to maintain an attitude that we believe to be +correct, while preserving our self-possession under circumstances in which +persons of a timorous disposition would certainly lose their heads.</p> + +<p>Those who know how to reason never expose themselves to the possibility +of being unhorsed by fate for lack of good reasons for strengthening +themselves in their chosen course.</p> + +<p>They adhere, in the very heat of discussion and in spite of the +onslaughts of destiny, to the line of conduct that sage reflection has +taught them to adopt and are more than careful never to abandon it except +for the most valid reasons.</p> + +<p>They never stray into the byways in which the timid and the shrinking +constantly wander without sufficient thought of the goal toward which they +are journeying.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14"></a>[pg +14]</span>They know where they are going, and if, now and again, they ask +for information about the road that remains to be traveled, it is with no +intention of changing their course, but simply so as not to miss the short +cuts and to lose nothing of the pleasures of the scenes through which they +may pass.</p> + +<p>Reasoning-power is the trade-mark of superior minds. Mediocre natures +take no interest in it and, as we have seen, the timid are incapable of it, +except in so far as it follows the beaten path.</p> + +<p>True poise never is guided by anything but reason. Certain risks can +never be undertaken save after ripe deliberation.</p> + +<p>Confusion is never the fate of those who are resolved on a definite line +of conduct.</p> + +<p>Such people are careful to plumb the questions with which they have to +grapple and to weigh the inconveniences and the advantages of the acts they +have the desire to accomplish.</p> + +<p>When their decision is once made, however, nothing will prevent the +completion of the work they have begun. Such people are ripe for +success.</p> + +<p>The knowledge of one's real worth is a quality doubly precious when +contrasted with the fact that the majority of people are more than +indulgent <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15"></a>[pg +15]</span>to their own failings. Of many of them it may be said, in the +words of the Arab proverb, couched in the language of imagery: "This man +has no money, but in his pocket everything turns to gold."</p> + +<p>This saying, divested of the language of hyperbole, means simply that +the man in question is so obsessed with the greatness of his own personal +value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that concerns +him.</p> + +<p>This condition is a much more common one than one might at first +believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, seems +to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects us, a +matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we find +ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the victims +of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward other people +under similar circumstances.</p> + +<p>The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that +adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism.</p> + +<p>It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to +undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's +abilities.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16"></a>[pg +16]</span>To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault +that is far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run +than the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's +own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all +unsuccess.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another +quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of +mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake +our tasks without boasting and without hesitation.</p> + +<p>Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the +merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, and +of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry out to +its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring +accidents, precisely what we have foreseen.</p> + +<p>This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating +ourselves or for lacking poise?</p> + +<p>Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter +of insight.</p> + +<p>They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and +not upon facts.</p> + +<p>If the perception of a man of resolution causes <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_17" id="Page_17"></a>[pg 17]</span>him to understand at once the +emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, always +ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into an +appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a project +that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of the +arguments advanced.</p> + +<p>Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never +even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it +may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all his +ideas.</p> + +<p>The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey +for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick +disillusionment.</p> + +<p>A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not +wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not.</p> + +<p>He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he +imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic +gesture.</p> + +<p>He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if +the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and +antagonistic.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18"></a>[pg +18]</span>How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed +with poise!</p> + +<p>His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he +jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive protestations +as well as when confronting indications of aimless antagonism.</p> + +<p>How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and +to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it?</p> + +<p>Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound +judgment.</p> + +<p>Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor +to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, +and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about the +work of correcting them.</p> + +<p>It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in +which one is taking one's risks.</p> + +<p>The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be +likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts.</p> + +<p>The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, +first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></a>[pg 19]</span>avoiding +the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he passes.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and +he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths which +he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes.</p> + +<p>These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we +sometimes find in the timid.</p> + +<p>Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they +are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their +virtues and so fall an easy prey to the designer and the sharper.</p> + +<p>Their very carelessness in estimating other people becomes the +foundation of an involuntary partiality the moment they are called upon to +judge their own actions.</p> + +<p>It is not deliberate self-indulgence that drives them to act in this +way, but their inexperience, which gives rise in them to the desire for +perfection, and this necessarily provokes, simultaneously with the despair +caused by their failure to attain it, a fear of having this failure +remarked or commented upon.</p> + +<p>The man who possesses poise is too familiar <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></a>[pg 20]</span>with the realities of life +not to be aware that the search for such an ideal is a Utopian dream.</p> + +<p>But he is also aware that, if actual perfection does not exist, it is +the bounden duty of man to struggle always in pursuit of good and to show +appreciation of it in whatsoever form it may manifest itself.</p> + +<p>Sincerity toward himself thus becomes for him an easy matter indeed, and +for the very reason that his poise leaves him absolutely free to form a +correct estimate of others.</p> + +<p>Serious self-examination throws a clear light for him upon those merits +of which he has a right to be proud, while revealing to him at the same +time the faults to which he is most likely to yield.</p> + +<p>The habit of estimating himself and his own qualities without fear or +favor gives him great facility for gaging the motives of other people.</p> + +<p>He thus avoids the pitfalls that a biased viewpoint spreads before the +feet of the foolish, and at the same time represses that feeling of vanity +which might lead him to believe that he is altogether too clever to fall +into them.</p> + +<p>He watches himself constantly to avoid getting into the bypaths which he +sees with sorrow that others are following, and does not fail to <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></a>[pg 21]</span>estimate +accurately the value of the victories he achieves over himself as well as +over the duplicity of most of the people who surround him.</p> + +<p>And this superiority is what makes certain his poise. More difficult +perhaps than anything else to acquire is the power to resist the appeals of +one's own self-love.</p> + +<p>We will explain this later at greater length. Lack of poise is often due +to nothing so much as an excess of vanity which throws one back upon +oneself from the fear of not being able to shine in the front rank.</p> + +<p>Such a person does not say to himself: "I will conquer this place by +sheer merit." He contents himself with envying those who occupy it, quite +neglecting to put forth the efforts which would place him there beside +them.</p> + +<p>There is nothing worse than yielding to an exaggerated tenderness toward +ourselves, which, by magnifying our merits in our own eyes, frequently +leads us to make attempts which result in failure and expose us to +ridicule.</p> + +<p>This is a most frequent cause of making an inveterate coward of one who +is subject to occasional attacks of timidity.</p> + +<p>To know one's limitations exactly and never to allow oneself to exceed +them--this is the part <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" +id="Page_22"></a>[pg 22]</span>of wisdom, the act of a man who, as the +saying goes, knows what he is about.</p> + +<p>There is in every effort a necessary limit that it is not wise to +exceed.</p> + +<p>"Never force your talents," says a very pithy proverb. Never undertake +to do a thing that is beyond your powers.</p> + +<p>Never allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion on a subject which is +beyond your intellectual depth. To do so is to take the risk of making +mistakes that will render you ridiculous.</p> + +<p>But if you are quite convinced that you can come out victorious, never +hesitate to enter a trial of wits that may serve as an occasion for +demonstrating the fact that you are sure of your subject.</p> + +<p>The man who cultivates poise will never let pass such opportunities as +this for exhibiting himself in a favorable light.</p> + +<p>Conscious of the soundness of his own judgment, and filled with a real +sincerity toward himself, he will not allow himself to be carried away by a +possible chance of success. Rather will he gather himself together, collect +his forces, and wait until he can achieve a real effect upon the minds of +those whom he wishes to impress.</p> + +<p>Similarly the result of unsuccess in such a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></a>[pg 23]</span>venture is obvious. It has +the effect of developing a distrust of oneself and of destroying the superb +assurance of those people of whom it is often said: "Oh, he! He is sailing +with the wind at his back!"</p> + +<p>People generally fail to add in these cases that such persons have left +nothing undone to accomplish this result and are more than careful not to +weigh anchor when the wind is not favorable.</p> + +<p>It is true enough that there can be no actual shelter from a storm, but +the mariner who is prepared is able to ride it out without appreciable +damage, while those who are not prepared generally founder on account of +their poor seamanship.</p> + +<p>Disregard of calumny is always the index of a noble spirit.</p> + +<p>The man who wastes time over such indignities and who allows himself to +be affected by them is not of the stature that insures victory in the +struggle.</p> + +<p>Minds of large caliber disdain these manifestations of futile +jealousy.</p> + +<p>People of obscurity are never vilified. Only those whose merits have +placed them in the limelight are the targets for the attacks of envy and +for the slanders of falsehood.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></a>[pg 24]</span>A +precept that has often been enunciated, and can not be too often repeated, +which should, indeed, be inscribed in letters of gold over the doors of +every institution where men meet together, runs as follows: "Envy and +malice are nothing more than homage rendered to superiority."</p> + +<p>Only those who occupy an enviable position can become objects of +calumny.</p> + +<p>Such calumny is always the work of the unworthy, who think to advertise +their own merits by denying those of better men.</p> + +<p>Men of resolution under such circumstances simply shrug their shoulders +and pass by.</p> + +<p>The rest, those who are enslaved by timidity, become confused.</p> + +<p>Their ego, which they cultivated in a fashion at once obscure and +absolute, becomes so profoundly affected that they lack all courage to +openly defend it.</p> + +<p>Moreover, that instinctive need of sympathy, which is so marked a +characteristic of the timid, is deeply wounded, while their chronic fear of +disapprobation is strengthened by the criticisms spread abroad.</p> + +<p>The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid +shuns society, yet nevertheless <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" +id="Page_25"></a>[pg 25]</span>the judgments of this same society are for +him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a disease of +many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality.</p> + +<p>It is always a mental weakness. It is sometimes vanity, but never pride, +that reasonable pride that a philosophy now abandoned once numbered as one +of the principal vices, and which, if rightly estimated, can be considered +as the motive power of every noble action.</p> + +<p>Pride is a force. It is therefore a virtue which must of necessity be +one of the components of poise, so long as it contains within it no seeds +of vanity. Under such circumstances it is a primal condition of success in +the achievement of poise. Pride must, however, be free from vanity, +otherwise it ceases to be a force and becomes a cause of deterioration.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, those who are conceited are always the dupes of +their own desire to bulk largely in the minds of others, and at the mere +thought that they will not shine as they have hoped to do the majority of +them are put entirely out of countenance and are quite at a loss for means +of expression.</p> + +<p>The inevitable result of this tendency is to drive them into association +with mediocrity. In <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" +id="Page_26"></a>[pg 26]</span>such a society alone will the vain find +themselves at their ease. But the very moment that they find themselves in +the presence of those who are their superiors, the fear of not being able +to occupy the front rank throws them into such a state of mental disarray +that they entirely lose their assurance and that appearance of poise by +whose aid they are often able to deceive others.</p> + +<p>Finally, one of the most solid elements of poise is, without doubt, a +well-defined ambition, that is to say, one that is divested of the +drawbacks of frivolity and directly winged toward the goal of one's +hopes.</p> + +<p>The man who possesses ambition of this kind is certainly destined to +acquire, if he has not already acquired it, that poise which is absolutely +necessary to him in order to make his way in the world.</p> + +<p>He will neither be pretentious nor timorous, exaggerated nor fearful. He +will go forward without hesitation toward the goal which he knows to be +before him, and will make, without any apologies, those detours which seem +to him necessary to the success of his undertaking, without paying any +attention to the fruitless distractions that make victims of the rash.</p> + +<p>He will not have to put up with the affront of <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></a>[pg 27]</span>being refused, for he will +ask aid only of those persons who, for various reasons, he is practically +sure will be of assistance to him. The knowledge of his own deserts, while +keeping him in the position he has attained, will prevent him from being +satisfied in commonplace surroundings, and his will-power will always +maintain him at the level he has reached, permitting him no latitude save +that of exceeding it.</p> + +<p>Such is true poise, not that whose spirit one violates by merely +associating it with the incapable, the pretentious, or the extravagant, but +that which is at once the motive power and the inspiration of all the +actions of those who, in their determination to force their way through the +great modern struggle for existence, perseveringly follow a line of conduct +that they have worked out for themselves in advance.</p> + +<p>Ignoring such enterprises as they know to be unworthy of their powers, +those who are possest of real poise (and not of that foolish temerity +colloquially known as <i>bluff</i>) will devote themselves solely to such +tasks as a well-ordered judgment and an accurate knowledge of their own +potentialities indicate to them to be fitting.</p> + +<p>Does this mean that they will succeed in every case?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></a>[pg +28]</span>Unfortunately, no! But such of them as have met with temporary +failure, if they are able to assure themselves that their lack of success +has been due neither to a failure of will-power nor a fear of ridicule, +will return to the charge, once more prepared to make headway against +circumstances which they have the poise to foresee, and which they will at +least render incapable of harming them, even if they lack the necessary +force to dominate them completely to their own advantage.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></a>[pg 29]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_II'></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<h3>THE ENEMIES OF POISE</h3> + + +<p>The enemies of poise are many and of different origins, both of feeling +and of impulse.</p> + +<p>They all tend, however, toward the same result, the cessation of effort +under pretexts more or less specious.</p> + +<p>It is of no use deceiving ourselves. Lack of poise has its roots deep in +all the faults which are caused by apathy and purposeless variety.</p> + +<p>We have learned in the previous chapter how greatly the vice of lack of +confidence in oneself can retard the development of the quality we are +considering.</p> + +<p>Balanced between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure, the +timid man leads a miserable existence, tortured by unavailing regrets and +by no less useless aspirations, which torment him like the worm that dieth +not.</p> + +<p>Little by little the habit of physical inaction engenders a moral +inertia and the victim learns to fly from every opportunity of escaping +from his bondage.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></a>[pg +30]</span>Very soon an habitual state of idleness takes possession of him +and causes him to avoid everything that tends to make action necessary.</p> + +<p>The dread of responsibility that might devolve upon him turns him aside +from every sort of endeavor, and he passes his life in a hopeless and +sluggish inaction, from a fear of drawing down upon himself reproaches to +which he might have to make answer or of being compelled to take part in +discussions which would involve the disturbing of his indolent repose.</p> + +<p>Are we to suppose then that he finds real happiness in such a state of +things?</p> + +<p>Certainly not, for this negative existence weighs upon him with all the +burden of a monotony that he feels powerless to throw off. His own +mediocrity enrages him while the success of others fills him with +dismay.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless his weakness of character allows the hate of action to +speak more loudly to him than legitimate ambition, and keeps him in a state +of obvious inferiority that of itself gives birth to numberless new +enemies, who end by destroying him utterly.</p> + +<p>He is first attacked by slowness of comprehension, the inevitable +consequence of that idleness that causes the cowardly to shun the +battle.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></a>[pg +31]</span>Rather than combat influences from without he allows them daily +to assume a more prominent and a more definite place in his thoughts.</p> + +<p>His hatred of action says no to all initiative and he considers that he +has accomplished his whole duty toward society and toward himself when he +says: "What's the use of undertaking this or that? I haven't a chance of +succeeding and it is therefore idle to invite defeat!"</p> + +<p>So quickly does the change work that his mind, from lack of proper +exercise, rapidly reaches the condition where it can not voluntarily +comprehend any but the most simple affairs and goes to pieces when +confronted with occasions that call for reflection or reasoning, which he +considers as the hardest kind of work.</p> + +<p>It is hardly a matter for astonishment, therefore, that under these +conditions effeminacy should take possession of a soul that has become the +sport of all the weaknesses that are born of a desire to avoid +exertion.</p> + +<p>We do not care to draw the picture of that case too often encountered in +which this moral defeat becomes changed into envy, the feeling of +bitterness against all men, the veritable hell of the man who has not the +power to make the effort that shall free him.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></a>[pg +32]</span>Mental instability is the inevitable consequence of this state of +affairs.</p> + +<p>All brain-activity being regarded as a useless toil, the man of timidity +never understands the depth of the questions he has not the courage to +discuss. If he does talk of them, it is with a bias rendered all the more +prejudiced by the fact that, instead of expressing his ideas, he takes +refuge in fortifying his heresies with arguments of which the smallest +discussion would demonstrate the worthlessness.</p> + +<p>This unwillingness to discuss conditions gives rise among people who are +deficient in poise to a special form of reasoning, which causes them to +summarize in the most hurried fashion even the gravest events, upon the +sole consideration that they are not asked to take part in them. If, by any +chance, they are forced to be actors in these events the least little +incident assumes for them the most formidable proportions.</p> + +<p>It seems probable that this tendency to exaggerate everything with which +they come in contact is due solely to egoism. It is certain at any rate +that egoism plays a large part in it, but some portion of it is due to the +lack of observation that characterizes all people of timidity.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a>[pg +33]</span>The mental idleness and the instability of mind that we have +already considered render such people less inclined to consider with any +degree of care those things which do not touch them directly.</p> + +<p>At this stage, it is no longer possible for them to feign ignorance in +order to avoid the trouble of thinking, and they are only touched, even by +the most personal matters, to the extent that circumstances impose upon +them the necessity of thinking or of acting with reference to the subject +under consideration.</p> + +<p>The idea that they can no longer avoid the resolutions which must be +made and their fear of the consequences which may result from these affect +them to such a profound extent that the most insignificant of occurrences +immediately assumes for them an altogether incommensurate importance.</p> + +<p>This state of mind is a notable foe of poise. It is practically +impossible for a person under such conditions to believe that any +considerable effort he has made can have passed unperceived.</p> + +<p>This propensity to assign an exaggerated importance to personal affairs +develops egoism, the avowed enemy of poise. An egoist necessarily assumes +that the rest of the world attributes <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></a>[pg 34]</span>to his acts the importance he +himself assigns to them.</p> + +<p>This preoccupation does not fail to upset him. It increases his +embarrassment and the fear of not appearing in the light in which he wishes +to be seen paralyzes him, while the dread of what other people may think +prevents him from being himself.</p> + +<p>To this cause many otherwise inexplicable defeats must be assigned, the +result of which is a renewed resentment against the world at large and an +ardent desire to avoid any further exposure to the chance of failure.</p> + +<p>A case in point is the man who becomes nervous while making a speech, +starts to stammer, and makes a lamentable failure of what began well +enough, because he imagines that persons in the audience are making fun of +him.</p> + +<p>He has overheard a word, or surprized a look, neither of which had any +relation to him, but so great is his egoism that he does not dream that any +one in the audience can be so lacking in taste as to be concerned with +anything but himself.</p> + +<p>Had this man, in spite of his egoism, been endowed with poise, he would +have gone along calmly, simply forcing himself to ignore all <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></a>[pg 35]</span>criticism +and to impress his very critics by his attitude and his eloquence. But his +distrust of himself, his mental instability, his habitual weakness of +reasoning, all these enemies of poise league themselves together to inflict +upon him a defeat, of which the memory will only aggravate his nervousness +and his desire never to repeat such an unpleasant experience.</p> + +<p>For the man who has no poise there is no snatching victory from defeat. +His feeble will-power is completely routed, and the effort involved in +stemming the tide of adverse opinion is to him an impossibility.</p> + +<p>From dread of being carried away by the current, and feeling himself +incapable of struggling against it, he prefers to hide himself in the caves +along the shore, rather than to make one desperate effort to cross the +stream.</p> + +<p>But the very isolation he seeks, in depriving him of moral support, +increases his embarrassment.</p> + +<p>"It is not good for man to be alone," says Holy Writ. It is certainly +deplorable, for one who desires to make his way, to find himself without a +prop, without a counselor, and without a guide.</p> + +<p>This is the case of those timid persons who <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_36" id="Page_36"></a>[pg 36]</span>do not understand how to make +friends for themselves.</p> + +<p>Poise, on the other hand, invites sympathy. It aids men to expand. It +creates friends when needed, and weaves the bonds of comradeship and of +protection without which our social fabric could not hold together.</p> + +<p>Educators should seek for inspiration in the lessons that the exigencies +of modern life offer to the view of the observer. Excessive modesty, sworn +enemy of poise, is, socially speaking, a fault from which young minds +should be carefully guarded.</p> + +<p>It is the open door to all the feeblenesses which interfere with the +development of poise.</p> + +<p>It is a mistake that it has so long been considered as a virtue.</p> + +<p>In any case, the day of extreme humility is past. This detachment from +oneself is contrary to all the laws of progress.</p> + +<p>It is opposed to all the principles of evolution and of growth which +should be the study of all our contemporaries, whatever their station or +the class to which they may happen to belong.</p> + +<p>No man has the right to withdraw himself from the battle and to shirk +his duties, while watching other people fighting to maintain the <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37"></a>[pg 37]</span>social +equilibrium and seeking to achieve the position to which their talents and +their attainments render them worthy to aspire.</p> + +<p>That which is too easily honored with the title of modesty is generally +nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals +itself.</p> + +<p>It is a very easy thing to strike a disdainful attitude and to exclaim: +"I didn't care to compete!"</p> + +<p>Do not forget that a defeat after a sanguinary combat is infinitely more +honorable than a retreat in which not a blow is struck.</p> + +<p>Moreover, the combats of the mind temper the soul, just as those of the +body fortify the flesh, by making both fit for the victory that is to +be.</p> + +<p>It is then against the enemies of poise that we must go forth to +war.</p> + +<p>Cowardice must be hunted down, wherever we encounter it, because its +victims are thrown into the struggle of life burdened with an undeniable +inferiority.</p> + +<p>Even if they are worth while no one will be found to observe it, since +their lack of poise always turns them back upon themselves, and very few +people have the wit to discover what is so sedulously concealed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38"></a>[pg +38]</span>Deception is the necessary corollary of this, and one that very +soon becomes changed into spite. The disappointment of being misunderstood +must inevitably lead us to condemn those who do not comprehend us. Our +shyness will be increased at this and we shall end by disbelieving +ourselves in the qualities that we find other people ignoring in us.</p> + +<p>From this condition of discouragement to that of mental inertia it is +but a step, and many worthy people who lack poise have rapidly traveled +this road to plunge themselves into the obscurity of renunciation.</p> + +<p>They are like paralytics. Like these poor creatures they have limbs +which are of no service to them and which from habitual lack of functioning +end by becoming permanently useless.</p> + +<p>If their nature is a bad one they will have still more reason to +complain of this lack of poise, with its train of inconveniences of which +we have been treating, that will leave them weakened and a prey to all +sorts of mental excesses which will be the more serious in their effects +for the fact that their existence is known to no one but the victims.</p> + +<p>Instead of admitting that their lack of poise-due <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></a>[pg 39]</span>to the +various faults of character we have been discussing--is the sole cause of +the apparent ostracism from which they suffer, they indulge in accusations +against fate, against the world, against circumstances, and grow to hate +all those who have succeeded, without being willing to acknowledge that +they have never seriously made the attempt themselves.</p> + +<p>Only those return home with the spoils who have taken part in the +battle, have paid with their blood and risked their lives.</p> + +<p>The man who remains in hiding behind the walls of his house can hardly +be astonished that such honors do not come his way.</p> + +<p>Life is a battle, and victory is always to the strong. The timid are +never called upon to take their share of the booty. It becomes the property +of those who have had the force to win it, either by sheer courage or by +cautious strategy, for real bravery is not always that which calls for the +easy applause of the crowd.</p> + +<p>It is found just as much among those who have the will-power to keep +silent as to their plans and to resist the temptation to actions which, +while satisfying their desire for energetic measures may destroy the +edifice that they have so carefully constructed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></a>[pg +40]</span>It is for this reason that enthusiasm may be considered with +justice as an enemy of poise.</p> + +<p>Those who act under the domination of an impulse born of a too-vivid +impression are rarely in a state of mind that can be depended upon to judge +sanely and impartially. They nearly always overshoot the mark at which they +aim. They are like runners dashing forward at such a high speed that they +can not bring themselves to a sudden stop. Habitual enthusiasm is also the +enemy of reflection. It is an obstacle to that reason from which proceed +strong resolves, and one is often impelled, in observing people who are +fired with too great an ardor, to thoughts of the fable of the burning +straw.</p> + +<p>A teacher, who inclined to the methods that consist of object lessons, +one day asked two children to make a choice between two piles, one of +straw, the other of wood. It is hardly necessary to add that while the size +of the pile of straw was great that of the wood was hardly one-tenth of the +volume.</p> + +<p>The first child, when told to make his choice, took the mass of straw, +which he set on fire easily enough, warming himself first from a respectful +distance and then at close range, in proportion as the heat of the fire +grew less.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></a>[pg +41]</span>In so doing he made great sport of his companion, who struggled +meanwhile to set alight the pile of wood. But what was the outcome?</p> + +<p>The huge mass of straw was soon burned out, while the wood, once lit, +furnished a tranquil and steady flame, which the first child watched with +envy while seated by the mass of cinders that alone remained of the +vanished pile that he had chosen.</p> + +<p>The man of real poise is like the child who, disclaiming the transitory +blaze of the straw, prefers to work patiently at building a fire whose +moderate heat will afford him a durable and useful warmth.</p> + +<p>Let us then beware of sudden unreasoning enthusiasms. After the +ephemeral flame of their first ardor has burned itself out we shall but +find ourselves seated by the mass of ashes formed of our mistakes and our +dead energies.</p> + +<p>The rock on which so many abortive attempts are wrecked in the effort to +achieve poise is a type of sentimentality peculiar to certain natures.</p> + +<p>This state of mind is characterized by a craving for expansion, which is +all the more irritating since the timidity of the person concerned prevents +it from being satisfied.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></a>[pg +42]</span>In place of relying upon themselves, feeling their disabilities +and the lack of poise which prevents them from proper expression, such +people try to make themselves understood by those who do not appreciate +their feelings, without stopping to think that they have done nothing to +make clear what they really need.</p> + +<p>Such a chaotic state of mind, based on errors of judgment, is a very +serious obstacle to the acquisition of poise.</p> + +<p>This anxiety to communicate their feelings, always rendered ineffective +by the difficulty of making the effort involved, gives rise in the long run +to a species of misanthropy.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of common knowledge that misanthropy urges those who +suffer from it to fall back upon themselves, and from this state to that of +active hostility toward others the road is short, and timid people are +rarely able to pull up before they have traversed it.</p> + +<p>There comes to them from this intellectual solitude an unhappiness so +profound that they are glad to be able to attribute to the mental +inferiority of others the condition of moral isolation in which they +live.</p> + +<p>To insist that they are misunderstood, and to pride themselves upon the +fact, is the inevitable <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" +id="Page_43"></a>[pg 43]</span>fate of those who never can summon up +courage to undertake a battle against themselves.</p> + +<p>It seems to them a thousand times easier to say: "These minds are too +gross to comprehend mine," than to seek for a means of establishing an +understanding with those whom they tax with ignorance and +insensibility.</p> + +<p>They might, perhaps, be convinced of the utility to them of divulging +their feelings, could they be forced into a position where they had to +defend their ideas or were compelled to put up a fight on behalf of their +convictions.</p> + +<p>In the ranks of the enemies of poise sullenness most certainly finds a +place.</p> + +<p>It is the fault of the feeble-spirited who have not the energy to affirm +their sentiments or to make a plain statement of their convictions that +they become incensed with those who oppose them.</p> + +<p>In their case a good deal of false pride is present. They know +themselves to be beaten and to be incapable of fighting, yet they are too +vain to accept defeat. They refuse the sympathy that wounds them, and +suffer the more from their inability to yield themselves to that good-will +which would aid and comfort them.</p> + +<p>From this mental conflict is born an irritation <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></a>[pg 44]</span>that manifests itself in the +form of obstinate sullenness.</p> + +<p>In other cases the same state of mind may produce radically different +results.</p> + +<p>Always obsessed by the fear of appearing ridiculous and by the no less +vivid dread of seeming to be an object of sympathy, such people are often +driven through lack of poise into extreme boastfulness.</p> + +<p>No man who has poise will ever fall a victim to this misfortune.</p> + +<p>He knows exactly what his capabilities are and he has no need to +exaggerate his own abilities to impress his friends.</p> + +<p>Poise calls for action, when this becomes necessary; but the man of +resolve, being always prepared to do what is needful, considers mere +boasting and bravado as something quite unworthy of him.</p> + +<p>There are, however, certain extenuating circumstances in the cases of +those timid people who take refuge in boasting. They are almost invariably +the dupes of their own fancies, and for the moment really believe +themselves to be capable of endeavors beset by difficulties, of the +surmounting of which they understand nothing.</p> + +<p>Nothing looks easier to duplicate than certain <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></a>[pg 45]</span>movements which are performed +with apparent ease by experts.</p> + +<p>Which of us has not been profoundly astonished at the enormous +difficulty experienced in accomplishing some simple act of manual toil that +we see performed without the least effort by a workman trained to this +particular task?</p> + +<p>What looks easier, for instance, than to plane a piece of wood or to dig +up the ground?</p> + +<p>Is it possible that the laborer, wheeling a barrow, really has to be +possest of skill or strength?</p> + +<p>It hardly seems so. And yet the man who takes a plane in his hands for +the first time will be astounded at the difficulty he experiences in +approximating to the regularity and lightness of stroke that comes +naturally to the carpenter.</p> + +<p>The man who essays to dig a piece of ground or to wheel a barrow, will +find himself making irregular ditches and traveling in zigzags, and all +this at the expense of a hundred times the energy put forth by the workman +who is accustomed to these particular forms of labor.</p> + +<p>The person of timidity who boasts of his remarkable exploits is +actuated, as a general rule, by sheer lack of experience.</p> + +<p>His peculiar fault keeps him always in the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></a>[pg 46]</span>background and prevents him +from accomplishing any public action, and for this reason those efforts +appear easy to him that he has never thought of attempting.</p> + +<p>Further than this, aided by his false pride, he considers that his +merits are easily greater than those of the people who are not able to +understand him, and he is acting in perfect good faith when he professes to +be able to accomplish what they can not.</p> + +<p>Is it necessary to add that the ironical reception given to such +exhibitions of boastfulness rouse in him a feeling of irritation which is +all the greater for the fact that he does not openly show it?</p> + +<p>The man of resolve will never experience these unpleasant emotions.</p> + +<p>He knows exactly what he wants and what he can do. So we see him +marching ahead steadily, his eyes fixt upon the goal he has worked out for +himself, paying no heed whatever to misleading suggestions, which cripple +his breadth of soul and would in the end deprive him of that essential +energy which is vital to him if he would preserve his even poise, the +foundation of mental balance and the source of every real success in +life.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a>[pg 47]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='CHAPTER_III'></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<h3>WAR ON TIMIDITY</h3> + + +<p>One can not be too insistent in asserting how harmful the lack of poise +can be, and when once this weakness has reached the stage of timidity it +may produce the most tragic consequences not only so far as the daily +routine of our lives is concerned, but also with reference to our moral and +physical equilibrium.</p> + +<p>So, when the nervous system is constantly set on edge by the emotions to +which this fault gives rise, it necessarily follows that all the faculties +suffer in their turn.</p> + +<p>This is particularly true of those who are constantly haunted by the +fear of finding themselves in a condition of mental unpreparedness, to the +extent that they prefer to remain in solitude and silence rather than to +mingle in a world which really has too many other things to think of to +concern itself with their acts or their opinions.</p> + +<p>This morbid dread of becoming the subject of ridicule ends by creating a +peculiar condition <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" +id="Page_48"></a>[pg 48]</span>of mind of which, as we have already pointed +out, egoism is the pivot.</p> + +<p>In this way it is a common occurrence to see people of timidity paying +exaggerated attention to the slightest changes in the condition of their +health.</p> + +<p>Such people by shutting themselves out from the world have reduced it to +the circumference of their own personalities and everything which touches +them necessarily assumes gigantic importance in their eyes.</p> + +<p>The slightest opposition becomes for them a catastrophe. The smallest +unpleasantness presents itself to them in the light of a tragic +misfortune.</p> + +<p>For this reason the lives of the timid become a succession of boredoms +and of pains.</p> + +<p>Even in those cases where no really unfortunate incident occurs, these +people so exaggerate what actually does happen to them that the least +little emotion causes them the most profound unhappiness.</p> + +<p>On those days when nothing in particular happens they spend their time +anticipating all sorts of disasters, including those which are not the +least likely to happen. To them the tiniest cloud is an omen of a +devastating storm.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></a>[pg +49]</span>When the sun is shining their timidity prevents them from +exposing themselves to the heat of its rays.</p> + +<p>The timid man, in his moral isolation, is like the hare, who, crouched +in its form, sleeps with one eye open in constant terror of the passer-by +or of the hunter.</p> + +<p>It may be well to add that worry about oneself is invariably an +accompaniment of all these troubles. People without poise are, with very +few exceptions, egotists who exaggerate their own importance.</p> + +<p>Moreover, they suffer keenly from the obscurity into which their defects +have forced them as well as from dread of the alternatives presented to +them, the making of an effort to escape this fate, an idea that fills them +with horror, or the continuing to live in the unhappy condition that has +spoiled existence for them through their own faults.</p> + +<p>It is hardly then a matter for surprize that so many people who are thus +mentally out of balance end by becoming neurotics or become a prey to those +cerebral disorders that are, unfortunately, all too frequent.</p> + +<p>This condition of solitude, at once deplored and self-imposed, has the +still more serious disadvantage <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" +id="Page_50"></a>[pg 50]</span>of leaving the mind, for lack of proper +control, to the domination of the most false and exaggerated ideas.</p> + +<p>It is a well-known fact that any force of exaggeration, however obvious, +becomes less noticeable to us in proportion as it becomes more +familiar.</p> + +<p>It exists, in the last analysis, only by its comparative relation to +other things.</p> + +<p>It is certain that a child ten years old would seem very large if he +were five feet high, whereas a man of that stature is considered a +dwarf.</p> + +<p>Among Oriental races a woman is generally classed as a blonde whose hair +is not absolutely black.</p> + +<p>Things only take their real appearance from a comparison with others of +the same kind.</p> + +<p>For all his science, an ethnologist, placed in front of a man of an +unknown tribe, would be unable to say whether this man's stature were +normal or below the average in relation to others of his race, since no +information would be forthcoming as to this people's height or +characteristics. It is, therefore, no matter for surprize that the timid +man, shut in upon himself and having no other horizon than the limited +field of his own observations, is disposed <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></a>[pg 51]</span>to picture them in colors +whose truth he can not verify, since the terms of comparison, vital to the +accomplishment of his end, are not available to him.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, impossible for such a man not to become accustomed to +the idea as it presents itself to him, to such an extent that he is quite +unconscious of its successive changes in character.</p> + +<p>Do we notice the growth of a child who is constantly with us until he +reaches man's estate?</p> + +<p>Can we measure the development of a blossom into the perfect flower?</p> + +<p>Assuredly not, if we have lived daily in the company of the child and +have glanced several times an hour at the blossom.</p> + +<p>Both the one and the other will reach maturity without being sensibly +conscious of the fact that they are changing.</p> + +<p>But if we go away from the child for a few months, if, in the interval, +we see other children, we can form an estimate of his growth and can +compare him mentally with the other children we have met.</p> + +<p>The same is true of the flower. If other duties call us away for the +moment from contemplating <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" +id="Page_52"></a>[pg 52]</span>it, we will notice the progress of its +unfolding and we will also be able to tell whether, in relation to that of +other plants, it is quick, slow, or merely normal.</p> + +<p>The man who is timid, be he never so observant, will derive no benefit +from these observations, for he is quite unable to generalize and refers +them all to a point of view which cramps them hopelessly and gives them a +color that is, entirely false.</p> + +<p>So, from the habit of thinking without any opposition, little by little +he allows his ideas to become changed and distorted without any one's being +able to advise him of the misconceptions which he keeps closely to +himself.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that all timid people have a marked tendency to +distort facts and to acquire false ideas.</p> + +<p>It is often with perfect good faith that they affirm a thing which they +believe sincerely, not having had the opportunity to control the successive +changes which have transformed it absolutely from what it was at the +outset.</p> + +<p>It is a lucky day for timid people of this class when fate prevents them +from entering into competition with those who are possest of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></a>[pg +53]</span>Were these latter a hundred times weaker than they are they would +still end by triumphing over their feeble antagonists.</p> + +<p>It is above all in the affairs of ordinary every-day life that poise +renders the most valuable service.</p> + +<p>If it becomes a question of presenting or discussing a matter of +business, the timid man, embarrassed by his own personality, begins to +stammer, becomes confused, and can not recall a single argument. He finally +abandons all the gain that he dreamed of making in order to put an end to +the torments from which he suffers.</p> + +<p>He is to be considered lucky if under the domination of the troubles in +which he finds himself, he does not lose all faculty of speech.</p> + +<p>This failing, so common among the timid, is a further cause of confusion +to the victim.</p> + +<p>At the bare idea that he may become the prey of such a calamity he +unconsciously closes his lips and lowers the tones of his voice.</p> + +<p>The man of poise, on the other hand, feels himself the more impelled to +redouble his efforts in proportion to the need his cause has for being well +defended.</p> + +<p>He knows how to arrange his arguments, and <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></a>[pg 54]</span>to foresee those of his +adversary, and, if he finds himself face to face with a statement which he +can not refute, he will seek some means of softening the defeat or of +changing the ground of the debate in such a way as to avoid confusion to +himself.</p> + +<p>In any event, such an occurrence will have no profound effect upon him. +Vanquished on one point, he will find the presence of mind to at once +change the character of the discussion to questions which are at once +familiar and favorable to him.</p> + +<p>He who goes forth into life armed with poise has also the marked +advantage over the timid that comes from superior health.</p> + +<p>This phrase should not be the occasion for a smile. Timidity is a +chronic cause of poor health in those who suffer from it.</p> + +<p>Pushed to extremes, it is the source of a thousand nervous defects.</p> + +<p>We have already touched upon stammering.</p> + +<p>Unreasonable blushing is another misfortune of the timid. In drawing the +attention of one's opponents it betrays at once one's ideas and one's +fears.</p> + +<p>Fear of this uncomfortable blushing inhibits many people from making the +most of themselves <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" +id="Page_55"></a>[pg 55]</span>or from properly protecting their own +interests.</p> + +<p>The shame they feel on account of this inferiority leads them, as we +have seen, to seek isolation in which hypochondria slowly grows upon them, +sure forerunner of that terrible neurasthenia of which the effects are so +diverse and so disconcerting.</p> + +<p>The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes +transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by a +thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to walk +unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, etc., +etc.</p> + +<p>It must not be forgotten that these crises of embarrassments always +produce extreme emotion accompanied by palpitations whose frequent +recurrence may lead to actual heart trouble.</p> + +<p>All these disadvantages increase the sullenness of the timid, who are +overcome by the sense of their own physical weakness, which they know has +its origin in a condition of mind that they lack the power either to change +or to abolish.</p> + +<p>All these causes of physical inferiority are <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_56" id="Page_56"></a>[pg 56]</span>unknown to the man who +appreciates the value of poise and puts it into practise.</p> + +<p>Such a man has no fear of embarrassment in speaking. He is a stranger to +the misery of aimless blushing. If he does not always emerge victorious +from the oratorical combats in which he engages he at least has the +satisfaction of acknowledging to himself that he has not been beaten easily +or without a struggle. In short, misanthropy, neurasthenia, and all their +attendant ills, are for him unknown ailments.</p> + +<p>One can not be too watchful against the attacks of timidity, which, like +a contaminated spring, poisons the entire existence of those who are unable +to dam up its flow.</p> + +<p>Among the martyrdoms which are caused by it must be counted indecision, +which is one of its most frequent and most unhappy results.</p> + +<p>The timid man can not stop at any point.</p> + +<p>He vacillates unceasingly and takes turn by turn the most opposing +viewpoints.</p> + +<p>It is only fair to add that he rejects them all almost as soon as he has +formed them.</p> + +<p>His state of mind being always one of distrust of his own powers, it is +impossible for him not to be afraid that he has made a mistake, if he is +left to do his own thinking.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57"></a>[pg +57]</span>We have seen how his craving for sympathy, never satisfied, since +he does not make it known, drives him ever into impotent rage, which throws +him back upon himself in scarcely concealed irritation, that alienates him +from all sympathy and precludes all confidences.</p> + +<p>It is rarely, therefore, that the timid person does not find himself +isolated when facing the decisions of greater or less gravity that daily +life makes necessary.</p> + +<p>In terror of making a mistake that may lead to some change of course or +give rise to the necessity of taking some definite action, he hesitates +everlastingly.</p> + +<p>If, driven into a corner by circumstances, he ends by making some +decision, we may be sure that he will at once regret it and that, if the +time still remains to him, he will modify it in some way, only to revert to +it again a moment later.</p> + +<p>His will is like a ball continually thrown to and fro by children. No +sooner is it tossed in one direction than it is suddenly sent flying in +another, to return finally to its starting-place at the moment when the +players' weariness causes it to fall to the ground.</p> + +<p>This particular state of mind is primarily due to two causes:</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58"></a>[pg +58]</span>The desire for perfection that haunts all timid people.</p> + +<p>The fear of making a mistake that arises from the habit of continually +mistrusting one's own judgment.</p> + +<p>There are many other causes, the analysis of which is far beyond the +scope of this work, but every one of these can be referred to the two main +issues we have defined. The desire for perfection is at once the result and +the cause of most timidity.</p> + +<p>While the man of resolve, relying upon his experience, is able to +perform his part in those normal exigencies that he is able to conceive of, +the timid man, shut off by his defects from all practical knowledge of +life, comes to grief by discovering something amiss with every course that +he considers.</p> + +<p>A familiar proverb tells us that everything has its good and its bad +side.</p> + +<p>The timid see only the latter when making the decisions that fate +imposes upon them.</p> + +<p>They fall into despair at their inability to see the other side of +things and their feeble will drives against solid obstacles like a car +colliding with a block of granite.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution, instead of yielding to <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_59" id="Page_59"></a>[pg 59]</span>despair, seeks to surmount +such a difficulty by turning his car in another direction; but, if the new +road shows him nothing but dangerous pitfalls, he will choose to go around +the block and continue his journey, remembering it as a landmark for his +return.</p> + +<p>For this reason we shall find him well on his way toward his journey's +end while the victim of timidity continues to exhaust himself by vain +efforts, thankful enough if he is not permanently mired in some of the bogs +into which he has imprudently ventured. This is a state of affairs of much +more frequent occurrence than one might suppose. Timidity, as we have seen, +often unites the boldest conceptions with complete inexperience, which does +not permit of accurate judgment as to impossibilities.</p> + +<p>This lack of knowledge of life is also the cause of a continual fear of +making mistakes.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution never suffers from this complaint.</p> + +<p>Having taught himself the value of a ripened judgment, he is quick to +recognize the advantage to be derived from any project. He weighs +alternatives carefully and only makes his decisions on well-thought-out +grounds, after sufficient <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" +id="Page_60"></a>[pg 60]</span>reasoned reflection to make sure that he +will have no cause for future regret.</p> + +<p>We have already remarked that such forms of irresolution constituted a +martyrdom. The word is by no means too strong. They are never-ending +occasions for physical and moral torture.</p> + +<p>They are to be met with in the most trivial details of every-day +life.</p> + +<p>The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an +ever-recurring source of torment.</p> + +<p>He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead +and another back, looks despairingly at the line of vehicles that bars his +way, and, when a momentary opening in this confronts him, takes so long to +make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before he has +seized it.</p> + +<p>Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger +to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the vehicles +that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them, or of any +quick or dexterous movement by which he may avoid them.</p> + +<p>This little picture, despite its commonplace nature, is nevertheless a +symbol.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61"></a>[pg +61]</span>In the crossings of life, as well as those of the streets, the +man who is timid is at an immense disadvantage when compared with the man +of poise.</p> + +<p>The latter does not worry his head about the traffic that blocks his +progress.</p> + +<p>Aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment, he stands +firmly awaiting the moment that affords him an opening. Then, with muscles +tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead here, or +glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic and reaches +his goal without having suffered from accident.</p> + +<p>The troubles upon which we have been dwelling are never his. His soul, +dominated by a well-ordered will, by reason, and all the other good +qualities we enumerated in the first chapter, is proof against all attacks +of weakness.</p> + +<p>In the event of his not possessing all these virtues, he has the wit to +keep the thought of them always before him and to work hard to acquire +them, so that he may become what, in modern parlance, we call "a force," +that is to say one whose soul is virile enough to influence not only his +mind, but even to liberate his body from the defects created in it by +distrust of self.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62"></a>[pg +62]</span>But, it will be claimed, there are people who are born timid and +who are quite unable to achieve the mastery of themselves.</p> + +<p>Every human being can win the victory over himself. This we will prove +conclusively in the pages that are to follow, dedicated to those who are +desirous of arming themselves, in the great game of life, with that master +card which is named POISE.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63"></a>[pg 63]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h1><a name='PART_II'></a>PART II</h1> + +<h2>HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE</h2> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64"></a>[pg 64]</span> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65"></a>[pg 65]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_I'></a>CHAPTER I</h2> + +<h3>MODESTY AND EFFRONTERY CONTRASTED</h3> + + +<p>"Never force your talents" a well-known writer has said. One always +feels like crying this to those who, thinking to reach the goal of poise, +fall into excess and develop effrontery and exaggeratedness.</p> + +<p>Poise can not exist without coolness. We have seen that this quality is +rarely met with in enthusiasts.</p> + +<p>It is never found in those who have effrontery.</p> + +<p>Poise does not consist in the species of ostentatious carelessness which +essays to travel through life as a child might wander among hives of bees +without taking any precautions against being stung.</p> + +<p>Neither is it that false courage that drives one headlong into a +conflict without any thought as to the blows likely to fall upon the +foolhardy person who has ventured into it.</p> + +<p>The principle upon which we must start is <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_66" id="Page_66"></a>[pg 66]</span>this: life is a battle in +which strategy always has the advantage over blind courage.</p> + +<p>Unfortunate is he who, by his boasting or his lack of generalship, +decides upon an attack for which he is not really prepared. However brave +he may be he will infallibly find himself vanquished in a struggle in which +everything has combined in advance to defeat him.</p> + +<p>Boasting is not courage. Still less is it poise.</p> + +<p>Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self. It inhibits all +outward manifestations that are likely to result in giving information to +strangers with regard to our real feelings.</p> + +<p>Braggarts can not avoid this stumbling-block. They know nothing of the +delights of contemplation, from which arise ripe resolutions that will be +steadfastly followed.</p> + +<p>With the noise of their boastings, with the shouting of their own +braggart ineptitudes, they hypnotize themselves so thoroughly that they are +quite unable to hear the counsel that sane wisdom whispers in their +ears.</p> + +<p>They are like the man in the eastern fable who was quite unable to +follow a beaten path and was constantly wandering across the fields of his +neighbors.</p> + +<p>These detours were in general much longer <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_67" id="Page_67"></a>[pg 67]</span>than the direct road would +have been, and he received a constant stream of abuse, to say nothing of +blows, from the people whose crops he was ruining.</p> + +<p>But he seemed quite insensible to assaults and insisted upon following, +across lots, a road which led nowhere.</p> + +<p>It would be difficult to paint a more faithful portrait. Like the +peasant in the story, the man of effrontery is always wandering far from +the common road, the tranquil peace of which he despises.</p> + +<p>He delights in crossing land that he knows to be forbidden to him, seeks +to force open gates that are closed at his approach, and, if he can not +overcome the opposition of the porter, watches for the moment when an open +window will permit him entrance into a house where he will be coldly, if +not angrily, received.</p> + +<p>What is the result of this?</p> + +<p>Nothing favorable to his plans, one may be sure. People point him out. +They fly from him, and were he the bearer of the most advantageous +proposition, refuse to put any faith in his assertions as soon as they get +to know him in the least.</p> + +<p>Effrontery may sometimes impose upon the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_68" id="Page_68"></a>[pg 68]</span>innocent. But it is only a +momentary deception, quickly dissipated the moment that time is given to +estimate the emptiness of its claims.</p> + +<p>There is another variety of effrontery that is comparable to the form of +courage exhibited by the timorous who sing in a loud voice in order to +lessen their terror and imagine that by so doing they give the illusion of +bravery.</p> + +<p>People of this sort talk very loudly, often contradicting themselves, +and pass judgment upon everything, dismissing the most difficult questions +with only a passing thought, but remain silent and are put completely out +of countenance as soon as one insists upon their listening to reason, or +when--in familiar language--they "meet their match."</p> + +<p>The man of effrontery is a passionate devotee of bluff, and not only of +that variety of which Jonathan Dick has said:</p> + +<p>"It is a security discounted in advance."</p> + +<p>A little further on he adds:</p> + +<p>"Bluffers of the right sort are only so when the occasion demands it, in +order to give the impression that the wished-for result has already been +achieved.</p> + +<p>"As soon as their credit is assured and appearances have become +realities that allow them <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" +id="Page_69"></a>[pg 69]</span>to establish themselves in positions of +security they at once cease the effort to deceive."</p> + +<p>Our author concludes:</p> + +<p>"Bluff, to be successful, must never be founded upon puerility or +brag."</p> + +<p>Now these two qualities are always to be met with in the doings of the +man of effrontery, who only achieves by accident the goal he aims at, and +then only in the most insecure way.</p> + +<p>Drawbacks differing as to their causes, but equally unlucky as to their +results, are born of the opposite fault--modesty.</p> + +<p>It is high time to destroy the leniency shown toward this defect that +old-fashioned educators once decorated with the title of virtue.</p> + +<p>Time has forged ahead, taking with it in its rapid course all forms of +progress, which, in its turn, has made giant strides.</p> + +<p>Ideas have changed materially. Modern life has to face emergencies +formerly undreamed of, and those who still believe in the virtue of modesty +are their own enemies, as well as those of the people whom they advise to +cultivate it.</p> + +<p>The case of this man is similar to that of many others, whose meaning +has been undergoing a gradual change due to the erroneous interpretation +that has deliberately been placed upon it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70"></a>[pg +70]</span>Modesty is very frequently nothing more than an evidence of +incompetence.</p> + +<p>It has rise in sentiments that the man who would be up to date must +avoid at all hazards--distrust of self and hatred of exertion.</p> + +<p>One rarely finds it in the man who is active and who knows his own +worth. To revenge itself, it flourishes among the lazy, who try to save +their pride and to conceal their secret irritation at the successes of +others by assuming an humble attitude and exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"Oh! I didn't care to do it!"</p> + +<p>Or still more frequently:</p> + +<p>"No, I haven't entered the lists. I am absolutely without ambition!"</p> + +<p>Under similar circumstances people who are unknown cry out, and with +reason:</p> + +<p>"Oh! I have a horror of publicity!"</p> + +<p>This is simply a roundabout way of informing us that were it not for +their retiring modesty, the hundred mouths of rumor would be shouting their +praise.</p> + +<p>Modesty is very rarely what it appears to be. As soon as it exhibits the +form of a wise reserve it must be called by another name: prudence and +self-justification.</p> + +<p>The attitude of trying to keep one's actions <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_71" id="Page_71"></a>[pg 71]</span>from becoming known is not a +laudable one, and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of +inaction.</p> + +<p>What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the +scientists and all the men of genius had made a practise of modesty!</p> + +<p>If our forefathers had been modest, when it was the fashion to be proud +of this quality, our museums would be empty and only a few of the initiated +would know that men of exceptional merit, which they had sedulously +concealed, had written manuscripts which had never been published. The +humility of the writers in such cases could be made to pay too severe a +penalty.</p> + +<p>No! Men who have merits are not modest! This false virtue is the +appanage of none but weak and irresolute hearts.</p> + +<p>We should congratulate ourselves, while admitting these facts, that our +forefathers were not so constituted, and that their faith in themselves, by +giving them confidence in their own work, made it possible for them to hand +these on to their descendants.</p> + +<p>Of what use to us would it be to know that a poem of finer quality and +more splendid fire <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" +id="Page_72"></a>[pg 72]</span>than any we have ever read had once been +written, if the modesty of its author had led him to keep it always in his +pocket and it had finally vanished into the limbo of ignored and forgotten +things?</p> + +<p>It is then actually wrong to sing the praises of modesty, which is no +more than distrust of oneself, egoism, and laziness.</p> + +<p>The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing +nothing. He hides his ineptitude behind this convenient veil whose +thickness allows him to hint of the existence of things which are nothing +but figments of his imagination.</p> + +<p>We might add that the man who proclaims his modesty enters the struggle +with a decided handicap against him. The moment he begins to have doubts +about his own powers he will be sure to find himself the prey of an +unfortunate indecision, and that at the very moment when he is called upon +to perform some decisive action.</p> + +<p>"One day," says an old writer, "three men, in the course of a climb up a +mountain, found themselves confronted by a crevasse that they must +cross.</p> + +<p>"One of these was a timid man, another a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_73" id="Page_73"></a>[pg 73]</span>boaster, and the third was +possest of a reasoned poise.</p> + +<p>"The boaster made a jump without stopping to think and without taking +the trouble to measure the gap. He plunged into it.</p> + +<p>"The modest man then advanced, looked down into the gulf, then decided +to make use of the irregularities in the surface of the chasm to reduce the +width of the jump.</p> + +<p>"He made several attempts to carry this out, but could hardly touch the +edge before an instinctive movement of fear forced him back.</p> + +<p>"He worked so hard and so long at this that he was quite tired out when +he at last chose the moment for the decisive attempt. He jumped, indeed, +but in such a half-hearted way that he merely touched the opposite face of +the crevasse and fell to the bottom of the precipice alongside of the +boaster.</p> + +<p>"The third climber, who possest the advantage of poise, had meanwhile +been losing no time. He had mentally gaged the width of the crevasse, had +made a number of trial jumps to test his ability to clear it, and when, +with a firm resolution to succeed, he reached the edge from which he must +leap, his soul, fortified by the knowledge of his powers was fired with a +single <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74"></a>[pg +74]</span>idea, the consciousness of his own agility and strength.</p> + +<p>"By this means he, alone of the three, was able to cross the gulf in +which his two companions had perished."</p> + +<p>Effrontery and boastfulness have often another source. The shyness of +those who suffer from timidity, by isolating them and denying them the +means of expansion, prevents them from obtaining a real control over their +feelings, which undergo a process of deterioration so slow that they do not +notice it.</p> + +<p>There are very few things to which we can not easily become accustomed, +to the extent of a complete failure to notice their peculiarities, if their +strangeness is only unfolded to us gradually.</p> + +<p>A thousand things which shock us at the first blush take on the guise of +every-day matters when once we have acquired the habit of familiarity with +them.</p> + +<p>The timid man, who will not openly acknowledge his feelings, is +practically unable to take cognizance of their gradual transformation.</p> + +<p>We may add that he is always prone to dream, and peoples his world +involuntarily with imaginary utopias, which he begins by considering <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a>[pg 75]</span>as +desirable, then as possible, and finally as actually existing.</p> + +<p>This is the starting-point of boastfulness. It partakes at once of +falsity and of sincerity. The timid man loves to feel himself important, +and he merely pities the people whom he considers incapable of +understanding him. He is, nevertheless, sincere in his bravado, as his +dreams entirely deceive him as to his real self.</p> + +<p>In his solitary meditations he deliberately shakes off his own +personality, as a butterfly abandons the shelter of its chrysalis, and, +following the example of that gorgeous insect, he flies away on the wings +of his dreams in the guise of the being that he imagines himself to have +become.</p> + +<p>This creature resembles him not at all. It is brave, courageous, +eloquent. It accomplishes the most brilliant feats of daring.</p> + +<p>In this way, just so soon as the timid man becomes intermittently a +braggart, he commences to boast of exploits quite impossible of +performance. We must remember, however, that it is not he who speaks, but +merely the idealized ego which he invents because he is chagrined at being +misunderstood.</p> + +<p>Moral isolation is the parent of other curious <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_76" id="Page_76"></a>[pg 76]</span>phenomena. It imparts the +gift of seeing things exactly as we would wish them to be, by clothing them +little by little with a character entirely foreign to that which they +really possess.</p> + +<p>In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," we are told the following little +personal anecdote of the Japanese philosopher Yoritomo:</p> + +<p>"It was my misfortune as a child," says this ancient sage, "to be the +victim of a serious illness which kept me confined to a bed and unable to +move.</p> + +<p>"I was not allowed to read and my only distraction was the study of the +objects in my immediate neighborhood.</p> + +<p>"The pattern of a screen made a particular impression upon me with its +clusters of flowers and its bouquets of roses.</p> + +<p>"I passed hours in the contemplation of it.</p> + +<p>"At first I merely followed the outlines with my eye, finding in them no +more than an artistic reproduction of nature. But, little by little, the +clusters of flowers were transformed into gardens, the rose-trees took on +the imposing aspect of forests. In these gardens my dreams created a +princess, and in the forest a company of warriors.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77"></a>[pg +77]</span>"Then the romance began.</p> + +<p>"Every new line I observed became the pretext for creating a new +character. The princess was very soon taken captive by a giant--whom I saw +perfectly--and the warriors undertook the task of rescue.</p> + +<p>"Every day a panorama moved before me of changing personalities, who +reenacted the events of the story. Finally the obsession took such a strong +hold of me that I began to talk about it in a manner that aroused the fears +of my parents.</p> + +<p>"The screen was banished from my room and when, a few days later, it was +brought back for me to see, I was able to discover nothing more in it than +the designs with which it was adorned."</p> + +<p>This example, taken directly from life, shows us better than the most +extended arguments the dangers of moral isolation.</p> + +<p>By this we do not mean the isolation that is essential to concentration, +the practise of which always leads to the most fruitful results.</p> + +<p>We are speaking solely of the aloofness born of timidity or of +exaggerated pride, which, in depriving us of contrary views, develops in us +the propensity to see things from only one angle, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_78" id="Page_78"></a>[pg 78]</span>which is always that which +happens to flatter our vanity or please our tastes.</p> + +<p>All those persons who suffer from this disease of the will, which +deprives them of the ability of discussing things, may be compared to +runners who have neglected to ascertain the limits of their race.</p> + +<p>Like the latter, they keep running round the same track without any +means of discovering when they are nearing the goal.</p> + +<p>Instead of stopping, when they have reached it, they keep running +forward and the monotony of their efforts, coupled with the fever-heat +engendered by their exertions, very soon causes them to view the objects +that they keep passing and passing under a deformed and distorted +aspect.</p> + +<p>The man of reason, on the other hand, runs with the single purpose in +his mind of reaching the winning-post. He studiously avoids taking his eyes +off the goal, which he has carefully located in advance, and takes pains to +note the moment when he is nearing it, so as to run no risks of making his +spurt too soon.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of frequent observation that timidity often voluntarily +assumes the rôle of effrontery, from very despair of successfully +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79"></a>[pg +79]</span>accomplishing the task it is ambitious to perform.</p> + +<p>Illustrious examples of this contention are not lacking. Rousseau, who +was a coward of the greatest hardihood, says in his <i>Confessions</i>:</p> + +<p>"My foolish and unreasoning fear, that I was quite unable to overcome, +of perpetrating some breach of good manners led me to assume the attitude +of caring nothing for the niceties of life."</p> + +<p>A little further on, he adds:</p> + +<p>"I was made a cynic by shyness. I posed as a despiser of the politeness +I did not know how to practise."</p> + +<p>This is a much more frequent cause than one might think of the +exhibition of an effrontery which is apparently deliberate and +intentional.</p> + +<p>The timid man, feeling himself awkward and clownish when performing the +usual acts of courtesy, assumes the attitude of caring nothing for them and +of avoiding them deliberately, while all the while he is tortured by the +inability to perform them without seeming ridiculous.</p> + +<p>But the onlooker is not deceived. The outward appearance of cynicism +often conceals an inward sensitiveness of soul that is quite obvious, and +the actor makes so poor a hand at <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" +id="Page_80"></a>[pg 80]</span>identifying himself with the character he +would assume that it is clearly evident he is only playing a part.</p> + +<p>The conflict of diametrically opposing forces shows itself plainly in +his attitude which vacillates between the stiffest formality and the +easiest assurance.</p> + +<p>The awkwardness that is the bugbear of the timid shows itself even +beneath their work of cynicism, and the very effort accuses them, no less +than their flighty and unreasoning conversation and their gestures, now +exaggerated and now represt, all of which make up a whole that entirely +fails to give an impression of harmony.</p> + +<p>And what possible harmony can there be between a soul and a body that +are completely out of accord with each other?</p> + +<p>Should it be asked what the difference is between presumption or +effrontery and the poise that we have in mind, this simple illustration +should be illuminating.</p> + +<p>Effrontery, bravado, and exaggeration are qualities that are shown by +those who exceed their own capacity without giving the question a +thought.</p> + +<p>Poise is the virtue which gives us the strength of mind to analyze the +possibilities that are <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" +id="Page_81"></a>[pg 81]</span>dominant within us, to cultivate them, and +to strengthen them in every possible way before undertaking an enterprise +which is likely to call them into play.</p> + +<p>Real poise has no bluster about it. It has a good deal in it of +self-possession, the discretion belonging to which is one of its marked +characteristics.</p> + +<p>Repression of our outward movements enables us to achieve that control +over our emotions which makes a perfect cloak for our intentions, and +leaves our opponents in perplexity as to how to attack the fortress that +they wish to conquer.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, between modesty and effrontery, both equally +prejudicial to success, that poise must naturally be placed.</p> + +<p>But, it will be objected, all the world does not possess this gift of +poise. Are those who do not share it to be forever denied all chance of +success?</p> + +<p>Not so! It is open to all the world to acquire this gift, and if the +chapters following this are read with care it will be seen that it is +something that can be cultivated, so that it can be gradually perfected and +carried about with one as the germ of every sort of success, the happy +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82"></a>[pg +82]</span>issue of which depends upon a thorough realization of one's own +merits and the honorable ambition to accomplish a task that has been +prudently planned and bravely carried to an end.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83"></a>[pg 83]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_II'></a>CHAPTER II</h2> + +<h3>PHYSICAL EXERCISES TO ACQUIRE POISE</h3> + + +<p>Before preparing oneself by the exercise of reasoning and will-power for +the acquisition of poise, it is vitally necessary to make oneself +physically fit for the effort to be undertaken.</p> + +<p>One should begin with this fundamental principle:</p> + +<p>Timidity being a disease one must treat it just as one would any other +illness.</p> + +<p>Like all other physical maladies it is sure to be the cause of loss of +social prestige to those who suffer from it.</p> + +<p>It must then be combated in the same way as any other infirmity of long +standing that threatens to ruin the life of the sufferer.</p> + +<p>It is a grave mistake to consider it merely a mental ailment that can be +alleviated by nothing but psychological treatment.</p> + +<p>One's nervous condition plays a very large part in the conquest of +poise.</p> + +<p>We must, therefore, watch most carefully over <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_84" id="Page_84"></a>[pg 84]</span>the good health of the body +before taking any measures whatever to abolish a condition of affairs that +has been engendered by physical weakness and that will be fostered by it +unless such weakness can be eradicated or more or less dissipated and +ameliorated by a thousand little daily acts of care.</p> + +<p>It must be understood that we are not now speaking of medical treatment. +We have reference merely to that common-sense hygiene which has become more +or less a part of modern existence, and the daily practise of which, while +firmly establishing the health, has at the same time an undoubted reflex +action upon the mind. It is a well-known fact that energy is never found in +a weakened body, and that people who are suffering are clearly marked down +to become the prey of those wasting diseases, whose names, all more or less +fantastic, may be classed as a whole under the general heading of "nervous +maladies."</p> + +<p>To enumerate them is superfluous and unnecessary. Lack of poise gives +rise to all sorts of weaknesses, which are given the names of nervous +diseases and finally become classed in the category of phobias, of which +the starting-point is always a habit of fear due to excess of <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85"></a>[pg 85]</span>timidity. +This morbid disposition is the parent of a continual apprehensiveness which +is shown upon all sorts of occasions.</p> + +<p>The man who has the space phobia is quite unable to cross an open space +unless he is supported or, at the very least, accompanied.</p> + +<p>Claustrophobia is the malady of those who have a horror of close +quarters from which they can not easily make their escape.</p> + +<p>Writers' cramp is nothing in the world but one of these exaggerated +nervous terrors.</p> + +<p>Erythrophobia, that is to say the habit of inopportune and constant +blushing, is another of the commonest forms of excessive timidity.</p> + +<p>Stammering is another of the tortures that people of poise do not +experience, except in those cases where it is caused by a physical +malformation.</p> + +<p>All these maladies attack only the timid.</p> + +<p>There are many others, less serious in their nature, such as indecision, +exaggerated scrupulousness, extreme pliability, hypochondria. All of these +should be ruthlessly supprest the moment we become aware of them, for they +are one and all the forerunners of that mentally diseased condition which +gives rise to the phobias of which we have just been speaking.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86"></a>[pg +86]</span>To those who would seriously devote themselves to the cultivation +of poise it is, therefore, a vital necessity to be in a condition of +perfect health. It would be a misfortune, indeed, for them to find +themselves balked in their progress toward acquiring this quality by +anxieties regarding the condition of their bodies.</p> + +<p>Any indisposition, not to mention actual diseases, has a tendency to +inhibit all initiative.</p> + +<p>There is no room for doubt that a physical ailment by attracting to +itself the attention of the person who is attacked by it, prevents him from +giving the proper amount of energy to whatever he may be engaged upon.</p> + +<p>He thinks about nothing but his malady and quite forgets to take the +exercises that would enable him to alter his condition, to change his +actions, and even to make over his thoughts.</p> + +<p>His thoughts above all. Physical well-being has an undeniable influence +upon one's mental health.</p> + +<p>One very rarely sees a sick person who is happy. Even those who are +endowed with great force of character lose, under the burden of their +sufferings, part of their firmness of soul and of their legitimate +ambition.</p> + +<p>A very scientific force of hygiene is particularly <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87"></a>[pg +87]</span>recommended. Excessive measures of any sort must be avoided for +various reasons:</p> + +<p>(1) They are antagonistic to the maintenance of a perfect physical +equilibrium.</p> + +<p>(2) They will inevitably grow to dominate the mind unduly.</p> + +<p>When we speak of excesses, we intend to include those undertaken in the +way of work no less than those which are the outcome of the search for +pleasure.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless we will hasten to add that these last are much the more to +be feared.</p> + +<p>What can be expected, for instance, from a man who has passed a night in +debauchery?</p> + +<p>Morning finds him a weakling, good for nothing, and incapable of making +the slightest effort that calls for energy.</p> + +<p>He is lucky, indeed, if his excesses have no disastrous results that +will destroy his happiness or his good name.</p> + +<p>The fear of complications that may be the outcome of his gross pleasures +soon begins to haunt him and to usurp in his mind the place of nobler and +more useful impulses.</p> + +<p>As to his health, it is hardly necessary for us to insist upon the +disorder that such habits must necessarily produce.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88"></a>[pg +88]</span>The least misfortune that he can look for is a profound lassitude +and a desire for rest which is the enemy of all virile effort.</p> + +<p>The same thing is true of the man who indulges too freely in the +pleasures of the table. The work of digestion leaves him in an exhausted +condition and with a craving for repose that very soon results in a +complete lack of moral tone.</p> + +<p>Even supposing that his daily routine consists of two principal meals, +and of two others of less importance, it will be easily understood that the +man who loads down his stomach with such a large amount of continuous work +will not be very apt to adapt himself readily to matters of a wholly +different kind.</p> + +<p>To avoid pain, to sit inert, like a gorged animal, without attempting to +think, is the sole desire of the gluttons who are wearied by every repeated +excess.</p> + +<p>The same reasoning could be applied to the lazy, who suffer in health +from indulgence in their favorite vice.</p> + +<p>It can not be disputed that lack of exercise is the cause of ailments +that have a marked effect upon the moral character.</p> + +<p>Since physical laziness always goes hand in <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_89" id="Page_89"></a>[pg 89]</span>hand with mental apathy, it +follows that a dread of exerting oneself is always to be found coupled with +a hatred of being forced to think.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, essential for the man who would acquire poise to +fortify himself in advance against physical weaknesses which, by +undermining his will-power, will soon furnish him with the most plausible +reasons for losing interest in the steady application that is needed for +accomplishing his purpose.</p> + +<p>In achieving the conquest of poise certain physical exercises, practised +every day, and vigorously followed out, will be found of considerable +help.</p> + +<p>Before discussing the practical methods which are at once their +starting-point and their result, we will consider in turn the series of +exercises that must be performed each day in order to keep oneself in the +condition of physical well-being which allows of the accomplishment of +moral reform.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></a>[pg 90]</span><hr +/> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_III'></a>CHAPTER III</h2> + +<h3>FOUR SERIES OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES</h3> + + +<h4>FIRST SERIES--BREATHING</h4> + +<p>The point of departure for the cultivation of poise, like that of +everything else in fact, must be a well-ordered system of hygiene, far +removed from excess, and insisting only upon the points we have already +indicated.</p> + +<p>Without wishing to fall into the well-known error of so many modern +teachers, who assign an exaggerated importance to breathing exercises, we +must, nevertheless, admit the great rôle that respiration plays in +physical balance.</p> + +<p>We are now speaking, understand, of methodical breathing, we might +almost term it "reasoned" breathing.</p> + +<p>Every one, of course, breathes without being aware of it from the moment +of his birth to the hour of his death, but very few people are aware how to +increase the power and to enlarge the capacity of their lungs.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></a>[pg +91]</span>Nevertheless, upon these conditions it is that activity depends, +as well as the health and the energy that enables us to consecrate +ourselves to the pursuit of a definite aim.</p> + +<p>Without having to lay claim to a vast knowledge of medicine one can +discover that all repeated exercise tends to strengthen the organ that is +employed.</p> + +<p>Thus, well-directed and carefully practised breathing gives the heart a +stronger beat and facilitates the action of the lungs.</p> + +<p>From these arises a general feeling of physical well-being, which tends +to the preservation of good health and stores up the energy we need to +carry out our resolves.</p> + +<p>It is, then, advisable to devote several minutes every day to breathing +exercises, not merely automatic, but purposeful and under thorough +control.</p> + +<p>To accomplish this there are two methods.</p> + +<p>The first, very easy of comprehension, is to lie down on one's back and +to breathe deeply with the mouth closed and the nostrils dilated.</p> + +<p>As much air as can be held must be taken into the lungs, then the mouth +must be opened and the air must be allowed to escape gradually.</p> + +<p>During this operation one should pay particular <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></a>[pg 92]</span>attention to expanding the +walls of the chest, while flattening the stomach.</p> + +<p>About twenty deep respirations are required to accomplish the desired +effect.</p> + +<p>Little by little the lungs will dilate and one will unconsciously +increase the length of the inspiration and the slowness with which the air +is expelled.</p> + +<p>The second method consists in standing erect, with the head thrown +slightly back. The lungs should then be filled with air and one should +count mentally up to five or even ten before exhaling the air that has been +breathed in.</p> + +<p>It is advisable that when exhaling one should utter a continuous hum, +which must be absolutely free from trembling when one has practised it +properly.</p> + +<p>People who have practised this exercise have often stated that this +method of breathing has been of great help to them when much fatigued as +well as a first-class stimulus in moments when all their physical powers +were to be called into play.</p> + +<p>A well-known college professor has assured us that every day, before +giving his lectures, he makes use of this exercise. He claims that he has +thus gained a freedom of breathing the good <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a>[pg 93]</span>effects of which are manifest +in the facility with which he is able to give his lecture and in his +general feeling of ease. Rendered quite free from any suspicion of +nervousness, he feels that he is completely master of himself and in a fit +state of moral and physical health to employ the poise that is essential to +the man who has to instruct and to convince others.</p> + +<p>Deep breathing has the further advantage of developing the lungs, of +strengthening them, and at the same time of making their ordinary +functioning more regular.</p> + +<p>The man who practises this exercise will have much less propensity to +get out of breath. This will be a great assistance to those timid people +who are disconcerted by trifles and who, at the least little occurrence, +become so much affected by emotion that they experience a sensible +acceleration of the action of the heart.</p> + +<p>Palpitation can not take place without causing us physical discomfort, +and this condition is a serious stumbling-block in the way of the +acquisition of poise, for, in view of the great stress the man of timidity +lays upon the opinion of others, he will be apprehensive of giving them any +inkling of his distress, and yet his difficulty in breathing will be bound +to reveal it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></a>[pg +94]</span>The exercise of which we have been speaking should be performed +with care twice a day.</p> + +<p>For those whose leisure hours are few it can be accomplished without +losing any of the time which is already preempted by other things.</p> + +<p>It is merely a question of remembering it as soon as one wakes in the +morning and of never forgetting it before one falls asleep at night.</p> + +<p>The few minutes between the moment that one wakes and the time one gets +out of bed can be most profitably employed in this way.</p> + +<p>The same thing is true at night.</p> + +<p>If the occupations of the day and of the evening leave us no time to +devote to this exercise, we can always go through it in the moments between +retiring to bed and falling asleep.</p> + +<p>It will thus be seen that there is really no valid excuse for not +undertaking this practise, whose effects will certainly be most +beneficial.</p> + + +<h4>SECOND SERIES--TRAINING OF THE EYE</h4> + +<p>But our physical efforts must not stop here.</p> + +<p>It is more than necessary that we should make others feel the effects of +the mastery that we are slowly acquiring over ourselves.</p> + +<p>The eye is an invaluable assistant to the man who is studying to acquire +poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></a>[pg +95]</span>It is not necessary here, in connection with the magnetic +properties of the eye, to enter into a digression too extensive for the +scope of this book, but we can not neglect this one more-than-important +factor altogether.</p> + +<p>We are speaking now not only of the power in the gaze of others but of +that of our own eyes in relation to our associates.</p> + +<p>We must do our best, in fine, to develop the power of our gaze, while +studying to fortify ourselves against the influence brought to bear upon us +in this direction by others.</p> + +<p>One frequently notices, especially in the case of people who are timid, +a propensity to lose their powers of resistance with those who are able to +fix them with a steady stare.</p> + +<p>One has often seen people who lack will-power emerging completely upset +from the grueling of an interview in which they have admitted everything +that they had most fervently resolved never to disclose.</p> + +<p>A superior force has dominated them to such an extent that they have +found it impossible to conduct the discussion in the way they had planned +to do it.</p> + +<p>The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must, then, be on his +guard against betraying <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" +id="Page_96"></a>[pg 96]</span>himself under the magnetism of some one +else's gaze.</p> + +<p>At the same time he must cultivate his own powers of the eye, so that +he, too, can possess that ability against which, in others, he must be +careful to protect himself, and can utilize it for his own ends.</p> + +<p>The first principle is to avoid looking directly into the pupils of +one's interlocutor.</p> + +<p>This is the only way in which a beginner can avoid being affected by the +magnetism of the gaze.</p> + +<p>By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon +the supernatural.</p> + +<p>We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced +by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady +stare.</p> + +<p>Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are +quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, and +finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape from +the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to dictate +the words that they must utter.</p> + +<p>One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a>[pg 97]</span>to become swayed by the gaze +of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes +constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the face +of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the magnetic effect +of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his nose directly +between his eyes.</p> + +<p>When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, +for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one will +quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating.</p> + +<p>But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too +fixedly.</p> + +<p>It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic +point."</p> + +<p>In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and +particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking +steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked +effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will.</p> + +<p>Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the +possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the +ordinary applications of poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></a>[pg +98]</span>One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first +and later on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that +the eye can remain fixt upon it without discomfort.</p> + +<p>For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant +object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness.</p> + +<p>We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a +matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer +than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise.</p> + +<p>One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One +should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be kept +steady and the pupils motionless.</p> + +<p>If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest +winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to +keep it up for more than a few seconds.</p> + +<p>After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the +time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least +four or five minutes of perfect fixity.</p> + +<p>In order to keep count of the time that is <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></a>[pg 99]</span>passing, as well as to keep +control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a way +that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every two +numbers.</p> + +<p>When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other +exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the head +slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from this +point for a moment.</p> + +<p>It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have +been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test.</p> + +<p>To do this, one must take up a position in front of a glass and fix +one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it to +the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep it +there immovably.</p> + +<p>At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose. +The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some +slight difficulty in breaking away from it.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a +predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once transferred +to the bridge of the nose.</p> + +<p>These exercises of the eye will be found particularly <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></a>[pg +100]</span>beneficial for people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as +aside from the advantages we have specified, they have the effect of +strengthening the will-power, which will be found to have materially gained +by this means.</p> + +<p>When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels +oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at +the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it +will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely +associated.</p> + +<p>One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, +to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of that +of other people.</p> + + +<h4>THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE</h4> + +<p>Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle +against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of +timidity.</p> + +<p>Let us make ourselves clear.</p> + +<p>Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious +embarrassment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></a>[pg +101]</span>Others fall into this embarrassment as the result of exhibitions +of clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of +renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which +they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in their +gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness.</p> + +<p>It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant +conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of +weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement.</p> + +<p>We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public.</p> + +<p>The most embarrassed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in +a fashion quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends.</p> + +<p>It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a +habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the +person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, the +awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame at his +own expense.</p> + +<p>In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it +can be arrived at, without <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" +id="Page_102"></a>[pg 102]</span>a shadow of doubt, if our advice is +faithfully followed out.</p> + +<p>It is an obvious truth that the repetition of any act diminishes the +emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance.</p> + +<p>Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of +movement and to extend its scope.</p> + +<p>Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in +bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to our +advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to devote +five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the acquirement of +an easy carriage from the frequent repetition of certain movements.</p> + +<p>For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as +possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by jerky +movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be every day +made a little more extended.</p> + +<p>While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect +arch.</p> + +<p>Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's +steps of even length and one's body erect.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></a>[pg +103]</span>One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed +on the pretext of lack of time.</p> + +<p>Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other +movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every day +with regularity and conscientiousness.</p> + +<p>The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out +while we are dressing.</p> + +<p>Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, +and repeat it in front of the glass while observing yourself carefully, to +be sure that your face shows no sign of embarrassment and that you do not +stammer or hesitate in any way.</p> + +<p>If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop +and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able to +enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of +hesitation.</p> + +<p>You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which +disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the assurance +that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying +attention to their own lack of composure.</p> + +<p>Finally, from the moment of rising, as well <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></a>[pg 104]</span>as when brushing his hair, +tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to +acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his +movements more supple and to invest them with grace.</p> + +<p>Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without +exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without +looking directly ahead of him.</p> + +<p>If this attitude is a difficult one for him when commencing, he can, at +the start, assign a certain time for observing this position, and gradually +increase its length, until he feels no further inconvenience.</p> + +<p>The feeling of obvious awkwardness is a large factor in the lack of +poise.</p> + +<p>It is then a matter of great importance to modify one's outward +carriage, while at the same time applying oneself to the conquest of one's +soul, so as to achieve the object not only of actually becoming a man who +must be reckoned with, but of impressing every one with what one is, and +what one is worth.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></a>[pg +105]</span><h4>FOURTH SERIES--SPEAKING EXERCISES</h4> + +<p>Is it really necessary to point out what a weight readiness of speech +has in bringing about the success of any undertaking?</p> + +<p>The man who can make a clever and forceful speech will always convince +his hearers, whatever may be the cause he pleads.</p> + +<p>Do we not see criminals acquitted every day solely because of the +eloquence of their lawyers?</p> + +<p>Have we not often been witnesses to the defeat of entirely honest people +who, from lack of ability to put up a good argument, allow themselves to be +convicted of negligence or of carelessness, if of nothing worse?</p> + +<p>Eloquence, or at least a certain facility of speech, is one of the gifts +of the man of poise.</p> + +<p>One reason for this is that his mind is always fixt upon the object he +wishes to attain by his arguments, which eliminates all wandering of the +thoughts.</p> + +<p>But there is another reason, a purely physical one. The emotions +experienced by the timid are quite unknown to him and he is not the victim +of any of the physical inhibitions which, in affecting the clearness of +their powers of speech, tend to reduce them to confusion.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></a>[pg +106]</span>Stammering, stuttering, and all the other ordinary disabilities +of the speaker, can almost without exception be attributed to timidity and +to the nervousness of which it is the cause.</p> + +<p>We shall see in the next chapter how these defects can be cured.</p> + +<p>In this, which is devoted specially to physical exercises, we will give +the mechanical means for overcoming these grave defects.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as the difficulties of utterance have been overcome, and +one is no longer in terror of falling into a laughable blunder, and thus +has no further reason to fear, when undertaking to speak, that one will be +made fun of because the object of disconcerting mockery, one's ideas will +cease to be dammed up by this haunting dread and can take shape in one's +brain just as fast as one expresses them.</p> + +<p>Clearness of conception will be reflected in that of what we say, and +poise will soon manifest itself in the manner of the man who no longer +feels himself to be the object of ill-natured laughter.</p> + +<p>One should set oneself then every morning to the performance of +exercises consisting of opening the mouth as wide as one possibly can and +then shutting it, to open it once more to its <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></a>[pg 107]</span>fullest extent, and so on +until one becomes fatigued.</p> + +<p>This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those +who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as "heavy jaw."</p> + +<p>One should next endeavor to pronounce every consonant with the utmost +distinctness.</p> + +<p>If certain consonants, as <i>s</i>, for example, or <i>ch</i>, are not +enunciated clearly, one should keep at it until one pronounces them +satisfactorily.</p> + +<p>Now one should construct short sentences containing as many difficult +consonants as possible.</p> + +<p>Next we should apply ourselves to declaiming longer sentences.</p> + +<p>It will be of help to have these sentences constitute an affirmation of +will-power and of poise.</p> + +<p>For example: "I can express myself with the greatest possible facility, +because timidity and embarrassment are complete strangers to me."</p> + +<p>Or again: "I am a master of the art of clothing my thoughts in elegant +and illuminating phrases, because stammering, stuttering, and all the other +misfortunes that oppress the timid, are to me unknown quantities."</p> + +<p>We can not insist too strongly upon the cumulative effect of words which +are constantly repeated. <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" +id="Page_108"></a>[pg 108]</span>It is a good thing to impress oneself with +forceful ideas that make for courage and for achievement.</p> + +<p>Distrust of self being the principal defect of the timid, the man who +would acquire poise must bend every effort to banishing it from his +thoughts.</p> + +<p>The repetition of these sentences, by building up conviction, will +undoubtedly end by creating a confidence in oneself that will at first be +hesitating, but will gradually acquire force. This is a great step in +advance on the road toward poise.</p> + +<p>We are discussing, it should be understood, only such cases of +difficulty in speaking as are directly traceable to an inherent +timidity.</p> + +<p>If the inability to speak clearly comes from a physical malformation it +should at once be brought to the attention of a specialist.</p> + +<p>It is well recognized that, in the majority of cases, those defects are +the consequences of timidity, when they are not its direct cause.</p> + +<p>In combating them, then, with every means at his disposal, the man who +desires to acquire poise will prove the logicality of his mind. It is a +well-known axiom that effects are produced by causes, and <i>vice +versa</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></a>[pg +109]</span>Thus, in the case we are considering, timidity either causes the +difficulty in speaking or is caused by it. In the first condition as well +as in the second, the disappearance of the one trouble depends upon the +eradication of the other.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></a>[pg +110]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_IV'></a>CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<h3>PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR OBTAINING POISE</h3> + + +<h4>COMPOSURE</h4> + +<p>One of the essential conditions of acquiring poise is to familiarize +oneself with the habit of composure.</p> + +<p>Timid people know nothing of its advantages. They are always ill at +ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censures, and completely +upset by the idea of the least initiative.</p> + +<p>Their mania leads them to exaggerate the smallest incident. A trifle +puts them in a panic, and at the mere notion that strangers have perceived +this they become quite out of countenance and are possest by but one idea, +to avoid by flight the repetition of such unpleasant emotions.</p> + +<p>A quite useless attempt, for in whatever retirement people who lack +poise may live, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the +small embarrassments of every-day life, which, in their eyes, will soon +take on the guise of disasters.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111"></a>[pg +111]</span>Composure should, then, be the first achievement in the way of +self-conquest to be aimed at by the man who is desirous of attaining +poise.</p> + +<p>But, it will be objected, composure is a condition that is not familiar +to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of disposition. Every one +who wishes for it can not attain to it.</p> + +<p>This is an error. In order to possess composure, that is to say the +first step in the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the +proportions of things, it must be achieved, or developed, if we happen to +be naturally inclined thereto.</p> + +<p>To accomplish this, deep-breathing exercises are often recommended by +the philosophers of the new school.</p> + +<p>They advise those who are desirous of cultivating it to make no +resolution, to commit themselves to no impulsive action, without first +withdrawing into themselves and taking five or six deep breaths in the +manner we have described in the preceding chapter.</p> + +<p>This has the physical effect of reducing the speed with which the heart +beats and, as a result, of relaxing the mind and quieting one's nerves.</p> + +<p>During the two or three minutes thus employed one's enthusiasm wanes and +one's ideas <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112"></a>[pg +112]</span>take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning impulses no +longer fill the brain to the extent of inhibiting the entrance of sober +second thought.</p> + +<p>But this is only an adventitious means of prevention. We will now speak +of those which should become a matter of daily practise and whose frequent +repetition will lead to the poise we seek.</p> + +<p>Every one whose profession makes it necessary to cultivate his memory +recognizes the importance of studying at night. Phrases learned just before +going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They remain latent +in the brain and spring up anew in the morning without calling for much +trouble to revive them.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is well to retire to rest in a mental attitude of +deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky movement and constraining +oneself to lie perfectly quiet.</p> + +<p>At the same time one should keep on repeating these words:</p> + +<p>"I am composed. I propose to be composed. I am composed!"</p> + +<p>The constant reiteration of these words constitute a species of +suggestion, and peace will steal gradually into our souls and will permit +us <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113"></a>[pg +113]</span>to think quietly, without the risk of becoming entangled in +disordered fancies, or, what is far worse, falling a prey to vain and +unavailing regrets.</p> + +<p>Those who doubt the efficacy of this proceeding can be readily convinced +by proving to them the tremendous power of mere words.</p> + +<p>Certain of these electrify us. Such words as patriotism, revolt, blood, +always produce in us an emotion of enthusiasm or disgust.</p> + +<p>Others again are productive of color, and one must admit that the +constant repetition of an assurance ultimately leads to the creation of the +condition that it pictures to us.</p> + +<p>But to make the assertion to oneself, "I am composed," is not all that +is necessary. One must prove to oneself that one is not glossing over the +truth.</p> + +<p>The readiest means of accomplishing this, which is open to every one who +has any regular interests, is to mentally review the words and the actions +of the day, and to pass judgment upon them from the point of view of the +quality one is striving to attain.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114"></a>[pg +114]</span><h4>DAILY SELF-EXAMINATION</h4> + +<p>One should convince oneself as soon as possible of the truth of the fact +that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that firmness +of judgment that must be cultivated by the man who is in search of +poise.</p> + +<p>In order to reach this condition nothing is more easy than to pass in +mental review, every evening, the events that have marked the day that has +passed.</p> + +<p>In a word, one should strive to relive it, honestly confessing to +oneself all the mistakes that have crept into it.</p> + +<p>Every unfortunate speech should be recalled. One should formulate fresh +replies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so that +under similar circumstances we may not be again caught at a +disadvantage.</p> + +<p>The witty name of "doorstep repartee" has been given to these answers +which one makes as afterthoughts, with the idea of expressing the +embarrassment of the man who can find no arguments until he finds himself +beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, when one +is on the doorstep, that one suddenly recognizes what one ought to have +said, and finds the phrases that one should have used, <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115"></a>[pg 115]</span>the +exact retort that one might have hurled at one's antagonist.</p> + +<p>The man who has acquired poise should still accustom himself to practise +this force of mental gymnastics when making his daily self-examination.</p> + +<p>It will strengthen him for future contests by teaching him just how to +conduct himself.</p> + +<p>He must be always on his guard against one of the obsessions that too +often afflict the timid--the mania for extremes.</p> + +<p>The nature of a timid person is essentially artificial. His character is +unequal.</p> + +<p>He yearns for perfection, yet it is painful for him to meet it in +others. He suffers also because he has failed to acquire it himself.</p> + +<p>Sometimes he is his own most severe judge and then on other occasions he +is grossly indulgent to his faults.</p> + +<p>His isolation causes him to construct ideals that can not possibly be +realized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who +fall short of them, while making no effort to duplicate their +struggles.</p> + +<p>He makes the sad mistake, as we have seen in the chapter on effrontery, +of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry at his inability +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116"></a>[pg +116]</span>to make other people see them in the same light.</p> + +<p>He is, moreover, of a very trustful disposition and prone to the making +of confidences. But when he attempts them his infirmity prevents him and he +suffers under the inhibition.</p> + +<p>All his mental processes, as we have seen, tend toward hypochondria, +unless his sense of truth can be called into play.</p> + +<p>One can easily see then that this daily self-examination can be made +quite a difficult affair by all these conflicting tendencies.</p> + +<p>It is for this very reason that it is so necessary that this examination +should be rigorously undertaken every day and with all the good faith of +which we are possest.</p> + +<p>It is because they do not ignore their own weaknesses that the men +endowed with poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," +that is to say people who are masters of a power that renders them superior +to the rest of the world.</p> + + +<h4>RESOLUTION</h4> + +<p>After as minute and as honest an examination as we can make of our own +actions, it will be of great benefit to make definite resolutions for the +morrow.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117"></a>[pg +117]</span>This is a matter of great importance.</p> + +<p>The timid man, by seriously resolving to perform the actions that he +ought and by planning the accomplishment of some definite step, will +unconsciously strengthen his own will-power.</p> + +<p>He will increase it still more by making up his mind to leave no stone +unturned to conquer himself.</p> + +<p>For instance, he proposes to make a certain journey, or to pay a certain +call, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to +himself: "To-morrow I will go there! I will carry the thing through with +assurance!"</p> + +<p>Conceding the magnetic power of words, the acquisition of courage and of +confidence are necessary corollaries.</p> + +<p>Ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep +develop during the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow +present themselves to us quite naturally in the guise of a duty much less +hard to perform than we had imagined.</p> + +<p>In the case where such a resolution awakens an unpleasant emotion in the +hearts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that tend +to composure and should seek the aid of the means we have indicated for +attaining it.</p> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118"></a>[pg +118]</span><h4>PREPARATION</h4> + +<p>In order to strengthen one's resolution it is a good thing every morning +to map out one's day, for the purpose of acquiring poise.</p> + +<p>All one's combinations should be worked out with this valuable conquest +in mind.</p> + +<p>After having committed oneself to a definite plan, one should analyze +each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into account all the +peculiarities that are likely to characterize them.</p> + +<p>If one is to have an interview, one should carefully prepare one's +introductory remarks, paying particular attention to one's line of action, +to one's method of presentation, and the words upon which one relies to +obtain an affirmative reply to one's request.</p> + +<p>One should take the precaution to have one's speeches mentally prepared +in advance, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and +convincing fashion that one does not find oneself in a state of +embarrassment fatal to recollecting them.</p> + +<p>It is better to make them as short as possible. One is then much less +likely to become confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119"></a>[pg +119]</span>or stuttering, which are always accompaniments of the fear of +being left without an idea of what to say next.</p> + +<p>Besides this, long speeches are always irritating, and it is a sign of +great lack of address to allow oneself to acquire the reputation of being a +bore.</p> + +<p>To make sure of one's facial expression and gestures it may be well to +repeat one's speeches in front of a mirror.</p> + +<p>One can then enact one's entry into the room in such a way as to foresee +even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of making a failure +at the start will no longer have a bad effect upon one.</p> + +<p>We have heard of a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his +situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused that +he forgot to leave his streaming umbrella in the outer office.</p> + +<p>It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being +able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at +perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, were +by no means to the benefit of the floor.</p> + +<p>His despair at the sight of the rivulets that, <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_120" id="Page_120"></a>[pg 120]</span>running from his umbrella, +spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, prevented him from +thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. His native awkwardness +became all the worse at this and, utterly unable to proffer any but the +most confused excuses, he fled from the office of his chief leaving the +latter in a high state of irritation.</p> + +<p>He was replaced by some one else at the first opportunity, on the +pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left in +the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity.</p> + +<p>It should be added that this man was more than ordinarily intelligent +and that his successor was by no means his equal.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, absolutely necessary for those who are lacking in +presence of mind to accustom themselves to a species of rehearsal before +undertaking any really important step.</p> + +<p>Does this imply that they must think of nothing but weighty affairs and +neglect occasions for social meetings?</p> + +<p>By no means. To those who are distrustful of themselves every occasion +is a pretext for avoiding action.</p> + +<p>They should, therefore, take pains to seek every possible opportunity of +cultivating poise.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121"></a>[pg +121]</span>The entering of a theater; the walking into a drawing-room; the +acknowledging of a woman's bow; every one of these things should be for +them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily +self-examination leaves them satisfied with themselves, it will be a cause +of much encouragement to them.</p> + +<p>If, on the other hand, they have received a rebuff due to their lack of +poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for this, in order to +guard against such an occurrence in the future.</p> + +<p>A good preparatory exercise is to choose those of our friends whose +homes are unpretentious and who have few callers.</p> + +<p>Let us make up our minds to pay them a visit, which, in view of the +quietude of its associations, is not likely to awaken in us any grave +emotions.</p> + +<p>To carry this off well we should make all our preparations in +advance.</p> + +<p>One should say to oneself: "I will enter like this," while rehearsing +one's entrance, so as not to be caught napping at the outset.</p> + +<p>One should go on to plan one's opening remarks, an easy enough matter +since one will be speaking to people one knows very well.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122"></a>[pg +122]</span>One should then decide as to the length of one's call.</p> + +<p>One makes up one's mind, for instance, to get up and say good-by at the +end of a quarter of an hour.</p> + +<p>One should foresee the rejoinder of one's host, whether sincere or +merely polite, which will urge one to prolong one's visit, and for this +purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as work to do or a +business engagement, and one should prepare beforehand the phrase +explaining this.</p> + +<p>Finally, one should study to make one's good-bys gracefully.</p> + +<p>It might be as well, while we are at it, to prepare a subject of +conversation.</p> + +<p>Generally speaking, the events of the day form the topic of discussion +on such visits, whose good-will does not always prevent a certain amount of +boredom.</p> + +<p>It will be, then, an easy matter to prepare a few remarks on the +happenings of the day, on the plays that are running, or on the salient +occurrences of the week.</p> + +<p>It should be added that these remarks should express opinions of such a +nature as not to wound anybody's feelings.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123"></a>[pg +123]</span>The man who seeks the conquest of poise will not expose himself +to the risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be compelled +either to remain silent or to make an exhibition of himself.</p> + +<p>To do this would be to strike a serious blow at his resolution to +persevere.</p> + +<p>The one idea of the aspirant to poise should be above all things never +to risk a failure.</p> + +<p>Such a check will rarely be a partial one. It will have a marked effect +upon his proposed plan of educating his will-power by again giving rise to +that confusion which is always lurking in the background of the thoughts of +the timid and which is, moreover, the source of all their ills.</p> + +<p>Another wise precaution consists in foreseeing objections and in +preparing such answers as will enable one to refute them.</p> + +<p>Eloquence is one of the most useful achievements of poise; it is also +the gift that best aids one to acquire it.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, indispensable to train oneself to speak in a refined +and correct manner.</p> + +<p>The man who is sure of his oratorical powers will never be at a loss. He +will find conviction growing while he seeks to create it.</p> + +<p>We spoke in the preceding chapter of the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_124" id="Page_124"></a>[pg 124]</span>mechanical exercises +necessary to make speaking an easy matter.</p> + +<p>We must not forget, however, that before one can speak one has to +think.</p> + +<p>Words will spring of themselves to our lips the moment we have a +definite conception of the idea they serve to present. As a proof of this +contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, while +ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing themselves, become +suddenly clear, persuasive, and even eloquent when it comes to discussing a +subject in which they are deeply interested.</p> + +<p>The study of the art of speaking will become, then, for people of +timidity, over and above the mechanical exercises that we have prescribed +in a former chapter, a profound analysis of the subject upon which they are +likely to be called upon to express themselves.</p> + +<p>One should strive to describe things in short sentences as elegantly +phrased as possible.</p> + +<p>When the idea we wish to convey seems to be exprest in a confused +fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a change of phraseology that +will make it more concise and clear.</p> + +<p>But above all--above all, we must pull ourselves up short and begin over +again if any <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125"></a>[pg +125]</span>tendency to stammer, to hesitate, or to become confused, begins +to manifest itself.</p> + +<p>Just as soon as one feels more at one's ease one can seek to put in +practise all these special studies.</p> + +<p>Nothing is quite so disconcerting as the idea of stammering or stopping +short.</p> + +<p>For this reason it is imperative that one should begin all over again +the moment such an accident occurs.</p> + +<p>This is what prevents timid people from accomplishing anything. From the +moment of the first failure they become panic-stricken and can no longer go +on speaking connectedly.</p> + +<p>Those who would acquire poise must act quite otherwise.</p> + +<p>Instead of avoiding occasions of speaking in public, they should seek +for them. But first of all they must make some trials upon audiences who +are in sympathy with them.</p> + +<p>They should experiment upon their own families and should never fail to +enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can prepare the matter for a +short address or a friendly argument.</p> + +<p>If they find themselves stammering or panic-stricken, they must strive +to recall the phrase that caused the trouble and endeavor to repeat it very +emphatically without stuttering.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126"></a>[pg +126]</span>For the rest, it is always a dangerous thing to talk too fast. +Words that are pronounced more slowly are always much better articulated, +and in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in +talking that attacks those whose education in the direction of the +acquiring of poise is not yet complete.</p> + +<p>One of the most important exercises in the search for poise consists in +accustoming oneself to speak slowly and very distinctly.</p> + +<p>If one stammers in the least degree, especially if this fault is due to +nervousness, one should begin again at the word which caused the trouble, +pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one should +incorporate it in one or two sentences and should not cease to utter it +until one can enunciate it clearly and without any trouble.</p> + +<p>In order to combine theory with practise, one should seek opportunities +for entering public assemblies, striving to do so without awkwardness.</p> + +<p>One should choose the time when the audience is not yet fully arrived, +since, unless one is very sure of oneself, it is a risky matter to appear +upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most part +assembled. By this <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" +id="Page_127"></a>[pg 127]</span>means one is much more likely to be able +to emerge victorious from the ordeal of the stares of the curious.</p> + +<p>The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet +indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion but +as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he happens to +know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one the thing that +he ought to say.</p> + +<p>If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer +congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence of +mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He will +avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has fallen out +and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of deformities to a +man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while leaving him free to +exercise all his faculties, will give him the opportunity to remember a +thousand details, the performance as well as the omission of which will +create much sympathetic feeling toward him among the people whom he +meets.</p> + +<p>The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the +recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128"></a>[pg 128]</span>be made +upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of the +relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person to whom +he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not +infrequently an indication of poise.</p> + + +<h4>THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS</h4> + +<p>But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe +that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, that, +like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming them +into hurtful indecision.</p> + +<p>The mere thought, "<i>I will succeed</i>," is in itself a condition of +success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies +this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am +determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!"</p> + +<p>Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you +must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with your +regrets.</p> + +<p>Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from +this moment I propose <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" +id="Page_129"></a>[pg 129]</span>to think of it merely to remind myself of +the reasons why I failed.</p> + +<p>"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the +wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of +the same mistakes."</p> + +<p>Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate.</p> + +<p>The words "I have no luck" should be erased altogether from the +vocabulary of the man who proposes to acquire poise.</p> + +<p>It is the excuse in which weaklings and cowards indulge.</p> + +<p>Timid people are always complaining of the injustice of fate, without +stopping to think that they have themselves been the direct causes of their +own failures.</p> + +<p>The violet has often been quoted--and very improperly--as an example of +shrinking modesty which it would be well to imitate.</p> + +<p>It does not in the least trouble the phrase-makers and the followers of +the ideas that they have spread broadcast through the world that the violet +which hides timidly behind its sheltering leaves nearly always dies +unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. The type +that wins the admiration of the world <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_130" id="Page_130"></a>[pg 130]</span>is that, which, +disengaging itself from its leafy shield, springs up with a bound above its +green foliage just as men of poise rise triumphantly above the accidents +and the petty details which bury the timid under their heavy fronds.</p> + +<p>If one were minded to carry out the comparison properly, it is far more +exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted to +the shade in which they hide for their puny and abortive appearance.</p> + +<p>The timid have then no sort of excuse for complaining of their +ill-luck.</p> + +<p>To begin with, it is to their own defects solely that their obscurity is +due.</p> + +<p>Furthermore, by ceaselessly complaining, they gradually become absorbed +by these ideas of ill-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in their +detestation of effort and suggest to them the thought of attempting nothing +upon the absurd pretext that nothing they do can succeed.</p> + +<p>One must add here--and this is extremely important--that in acting in +this way they always manage to provoke the hostile forces that are dormant +in everything and that array themselves the more readily against such +people because of their lack of the resolution to combat them and the +energy to overcome them.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131"></a>[pg +131]</span>This is the reason why people who are gifted with poise find +themselves better qualified than others to succeed.</p> + +<p>Their faith is so beautiful and so convincing that it compels conviction +in others and seems to be able to dominate events.</p> + +<p>It is by no means an illusion to believe in the worth of this +confidence. People to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help to +others, their faith aiding and sustaining that of those who have resolved +to make an effort.</p> + +<p>However strong the soul of man may be, it is nevertheless subject to +hours of discouragement, to moments of despair, in which some comfort and +sympathy are needed.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution will recover from his failures the more easily the +more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosphere of +friendliness which will not allow his defeats to be made public.</p> + +<p>As mists are dispelled at the approach of the sun, the agony of doubt +will disappear in the genial warmth of the encouragement and the confidence +that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those around him, and a +sure faith will be given to him, the certain and faithful guide to the road +that leads onward to success.</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132"></a>[pg +132]</span><hr /> + + + + +<h2><a name='IICHAPTER_V'></a>CHAPTER V</h2> + +<h3>THE SUPREME ACHIEVEMENT</h3> + + +<p>One must be most careful not to credit oneself with the possession of +poise while one is unable to encounter reverses without loss of +serenity.</p> + +<p>Every setback of this sort must be judged without bias and the proper +measures must be taken to prevent its recurrence.</p> + +<p>Every exuberant gesture, as well as every constrained and abortive +movement, must be the object of redoubled attention.</p> + +<p>This is the stumbling-block that brings so many timid people to grief. +They imagine that they have achieved the conquest of poise, while they are +really only deceiving themselves by the idea that they are giving a good +illustration of it. They become the victims of a peculiar type of delusion +akin to that of the cowards who deliberately invite danger while trembling +in every limb.</p> + +<p>The very fear of being considered cowards causes them to plunge into it +blindly without <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" +id="Page_133"></a>[pg 133]</span>taking the trouble to reflect. They always +overshoot the mark, exposing themselves quite uselessly and achieving a +result that is entirely valueless to themselves or any one else.</p> + +<p>The man who is really master of himself will avoid such foolish +undertakings, retaining his powers for those that are likely to bear fruit, +whatever the quality of the success may be.</p> + +<p>It is an act of folly to deny the possibility of success because one is +discouraged at the very first obstacle.</p> + +<p>The greatest triumphs are never achieved without a struggle. The man who +obtains them does so only by virtue of the experience gained by repeated +efforts, none of which bore for him the fruit he desired.</p> + +<p>The better is merely a step along the road to the best.</p> + +<p>Perfection is, therefore, the result of many half successes.</p> + +<p>If one could hope to arrive at one stride at one's desired goal one's +efforts would be of no value, and mediocrity would very soon become the +sole characteristic of those who were possest by this idea. The man who has +had the wit to acquire poise will guard himself carefully from falling into +the error of the timid, who, haunted <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_134" id="Page_134"></a>[pg 134]</span>by an unappeased longing +for perfection, lose their courage at the first attempt.</p> + +<p>Does this imply that idealism must be banished from the thoughts of the +man of resolution?</p> + +<p>Not at all, if by the word ideal one understands what it actually +means.</p> + +<p>A false meaning has been given to this word which has warped it from its +original sense.</p> + +<p>The ideal is not, as many people seem to think, an impossible dream +indulged in only by poets, and that has no active basis of reality.</p> + +<p>Lazy people abuse this word, which to their minds allows them to indulge +without shame in idle dreams that foster their indolence.</p> + +<p>The timid drape it about themselves like a curtain, behind which they +take refuge and in whose shadow they conceal themselves, thinking by so +doing to keep the vanity which obsesses them from being wounded.</p> + +<p>Devotees of false ideals clothe them too often with the tinsel of fond +illusion, under which guise they make a pretense of worshiping them.</p> + +<p>The true ideal, that which every man can carry in his heart, is +something much more tangible and matter of fact.</p> + +<p>For one it is worldly success.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135"></a>[pg +135]</span>For another renown and glory.</p> + +<p>For men of action it is the end for which they strive.</p> + +<p>The ideal which each man should cultivate and strive after need by no +means be a narrow aim.</p> + +<p>It is an aspiration of which the loftiness is in no way affected by the +lowliness of the means employed to realize it.</p> + +<p>This word has too often been misused and exaggerated in the effort to +distort it from its philosophical meaning.</p> + +<p>In every walk of life, no matter how humble, it is possible to follow an +ideal.</p> + +<p>It is not an aim, to speak exactly, but still less is it a dream. It is +an aspiration toward something better that subordinates all our acts to +this one dominant desire.</p> + +<p>Every realization tends to the development of the ideal, which is +increased in beauty by each partial attainment.</p> + +<p>We have just said that the ideal of some men is the acquisition of a +fortune. It might be supposed, therefore, that such people, once they have +become rich, will abandon their aspirations for something more.</p> + +<p>The man who has this idea is very much in the wrong.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136"></a>[pg +136]</span>The state of being permanently wealthy is one that opens new +horizons, hitherto closed. The doing of good, charity, the desire to better +the condition of those who still have to struggle, these will constitute a +higher and a no less attractive ideal.</p> + +<p>This does not take into consideration the instinct, innate in every +heart--and that the genius of the race has made a part of every one of +us--the desire of progressing.</p> + +<p>It is this desire that forms the ideal of fathers of families, building +up the futures of their children, in whom they see not only their immediate +successors, but those who are to continue their race, which they wish to be +a strong and virile one, in obedience to the eternal desire for +perpetuating themselves that haunts the hearts of men.</p> + +<p>It is quite evident that each gain has no need of being complete to bear +fruit. The thing to do is to multiply it, to make something more of it, and +to take it home to ourselves, in order to achieve the ultimate result that +is termed success.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution appreciates this fact perfectly, rejoicing in +every victory and taking each defeat as a means for gaining experience +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137"></a>[pg +137]</span>that he will be able to use to his advantage when the occasion +arises.</p> + +<p>The man of timidity, on the other hand, haunted by this desire for +perfection, cut off by his very aloofness from all chance of learning the +lesson of events, will be so thoroughly discouraged at the first check, +that he will draw back from any similar experience, preferring to take +refuge in puerile grumbling against the contrariety of things in +general.</p> + +<p>This attitude of mind can not outlast a few minutes of sensible +reflection.</p> + +<p>We wish to convey by the use of this term the idea of a process of +thought quite free from those vague dreams which are the sure indications +of feebleness, reveries in which things appear to us in a guise which is by +no means that which they really possess.</p> + +<p>The main characteristic of this state of mind is to exaggerate one's +disappointments while ignoring one's moments of happiness.</p> + +<p>It approximates very closely to the old fable of the crumpled rose-leaf +breaking the rest of the sybarite on his couch of silk.</p> + +<p>He has no thought of taking satisfaction or pleasure in the luxury that +surrounds him. He does not congratulate himself on his wealth, nor <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138"></a>[pg 138]</span>upon +the comforts he possesses and that he values so highly. He thinks of +nothing but the little crumpled petal which causes him imaginary distress, +and all his faculties are absorbed by this petty detail.</p> + +<p>The man of resolve will pay no attention to such trifles as this. They +will touch him not at all unless they assume the rôle of the grain of +sand in the working-parts of a machine, which prevents it from running. He +is wise enough to be able to estimate a situation sensibly, taking account +of the drawbacks but at the same time realizing all the advantages that +accrue from it.</p> + +<p>At these advantages he will be pleased and will seek to get the maximum +of good out of each one of them. If he thinks of the disadvantages at all, +it will be merely in order to find a way to diminish them and to rob them +of their power to harm him.</p> + +<p>Such are the benefits of reflection and of concentration which, when +practised in a rational manner, will do more than anything else to help one +to the attainment of poise.</p> + +<p>Weak indulgence toward one's own failings will be rejected by the +strong. To know oneself thoroughly is a good way to improve oneself, and +the knowledge that one is not mistaken as <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_139" id="Page_139"></a>[pg 139]</span>to one's actual merits is +of considerable help in acquiring poise.</p> + +<p>It is for this reason that the habit of daily self-examination, that we +recommended in the preceding chapter, develops, in the man who submits +himself to it, faculties of judgment so keen that it is an easy matter for +him to become his own educator in the path to betterment.</p> + +<p>One great disadvantage of lack of proper concentration is that it gives +to the subject one is anxious to study an importance greater than it really +has.</p> + +<p>Passion is too often an accompaniment of this form of reflection, +emotions are aroused, and the nerves become active factors in distorting +the real meanings and value of the things we are considering.</p> + +<p>The remedy in this case is a very simple one. An effort of will, will +readily banish the subject which is causing us too profound emotion by the +simple process of turning the thoughts to some subject that will cause us +no such disturbances.</p> + +<p>Later on, when the emotions of the moment have passed, one can return to +the former train of thought, forcing oneself to examine it with +calmness.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140"></a>[pg +140]</span>Some amount of practise will be needed to acquire this mastery +of one's thoughts, the parent of poise, which is nothing more than courage +based upon solid reason.</p> + +<p>It may happen that the desire to follow a line of thought that causes us +excessive emotion may lead to the inroad of a horde of secondary ideas, +which press one upon the other without any perceptible continuity, carrying +with them neither conviction nor illumination.</p> + +<p>Reveries of this sort are dangerous enemies of poise. They lead one +nowhere, and create in us habits which are not controlled by reason or +common sense.</p> + +<p>If such thoughts should assail us, the sole means of avoiding injury +from them is to repulse them instantly, the moment one becomes conscious of +them, and to banish the chaos of scattered fancies by devoting one's whole +mind to a single dominant thought that should be associated with the +determination to obtain the mastery over oneself.</p> + +<p>We have already suggested to the timid the advantage of foreseeing the +objections that are likely to be made to what they may say. The mere fact +that they have already formulated a <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_141" id="Page_141"></a>[pg 141]</span>mental answer will be a +great assistance to the making of a successful retort.</p> + +<p>To avoid still further risks of being confronted by a contradiction that +may put them at a loss they will do well to adopt the following plan.</p> + +<p>Let them put themselves in the place of the person to whom they plan to +speak and then ask themselves if, under these circumstances, they will not +find some objection to offer to the proposition concerned.</p> + +<p>If they discover by this means that, in his place, they would be likely +to find such and such difficulties, it must be with this fact in their +minds that they devote themselves to the better preparation of their +arguments or, if necessary, to modifying the force if not the content of +the reasoning upon which they rely to carry conviction.</p> + +<p>These objections, as we have already advised, should be uttered aloud, +so that we may the better perceive their logic, and also to allow of our +repeating them a second time, the ability to accomplish which will be a +great encouragement to us.</p> + +<p>There is no reason, in fact, for believing that we can not repeat on the +morrow, just as perfectly as we have exprest it to-day, a statement <span +class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142"></a>[pg 142]</span>that we +have made with clearness both of reasoning and of diction.</p> + +<p>Contact with men and with affairs should be sought after by the aspirant +for poise.</p> + +<p>He will be the gainer by watching the destruction of his exaggerated +ideas and his false conceptions, which have all arisen from solitary +thought.</p> + +<p>An essential point is to become accustomed to the necessity for +action.</p> + +<p>Far from avoiding this, one should seize every occasion to utilize it to +one's advantage.</p> + +<p>The determined student should even create opportunity for so doing, +which, in forcing him to break down his reserve, will make it necessary for +him to come to definite decisions and to carry them out.</p> + +<p>Every chance to exhibit real and honest activity should be seized by +him.</p> + +<p>Between two decisions, equally favorable to him, of which one will leave +him to his peaceful retirement and the other will involve active measures, +he should not hesitate for a moment.</p> + +<p>He will make choice of that which will compel him to exhibit physical +activity.</p> + +<p>It is, however, important that manifestation of purposeless energy +should be rigidly represt. <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" +id="Page_143"></a>[pg 143]</span>They are always harmful to one's +equilibrium and to the qualities needed for the attainment of poise.</p> + +<p>One should never forget the well-known proverb:</p> + +<p>"Speech is silver, but silence is golden."</p> + +<p>Silence, in a vast number of instances, is the indisputable proof of the +empire that one has over oneself.</p> + +<p>To be able to keep quiet and to close one's lips until the moment when +reflection has enabled us to discipline our too-violent emotions, is a +quality that belongs only to those who have obtained the mastery over +themselves.</p> + +<p>The weak become excited, indulge in protests, and expend themselves in +angry denunciations that use up the energy they should retain for active +measures.</p> + +<p>The man of resolution is most careful not to allow it to be known at +what point he has been wounded. He keeps silence and reflects.</p> + +<p>Resolves form within his mind and, when he at last is ready to speak, it +is to utter some firm decision or to put forward arguments that are +unanswerable.</p> + +<p>To tell the truth, those who instantly and noisily voice their +antagonisms, who, under the <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" +id="Page_144"></a>[pg 144]</span>sting of a hurt to their vanity indulge in +threats of violence, are actually dangerous.</p> + +<p>Their accusations, dictated by anger and heightened by the sense of +their own inferiority, are always characterized by impotence.</p> + +<p>They make people smile, provoke perhaps a little pity, but never cause +any fear.</p> + +<p>They are like the toy guns of children, which have the air of being most +deadly weapons, but which are constructed of such fragile materials that a +vigorous blow will cause them to fall to pieces.</p> + +<p>The self-control of the man of resolution in the face of insult and +provocation is far more impressive than these idle threats.</p> + +<p>His silence is ominous. It is a sort of mechanical calm which produces +decisions from which all passion is excluded.</p> + +<p>His answers, well thought out and adapted exactly to the circumstances +of the case, impress one by their coldness and by their tone of finality. +His words are always followed by deeds, and are the more weighty for the +fact that one knows that they are merely preliminary to the actions that +they foretell.</p> + +<p>This is one of the marked advantages of those who possess poise, one of +various methods of <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" +id="Page_145"></a>[pg 145]</span>conquering and dominating the minds of +others.</p> + +<p>There are other strong points belonging to those who cultivate poise, +which, judiciously employed, unite in giving them an incontestable +superiority over the majority of the people they meet.</p> + +<p>The man of poise will not be overgay or too boisterous. Still less will +he be taciturn. Moody people are nearly always those who are convinced of +their own lack of ability and quite certain that the rest of the world is +in a conspiracy to make them miserable.</p> + +<p>They lack all pride and make no bones about admitting themselves to be +defeated.</p> + +<p>These, we must admit, are rather difficult conditions in which to effect +anything worth while.</p> + +<p>In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," M.B. Dangennes tells us that one day +a party of men agreed to undertake a journey, the object of which was to +attain a most wonderful country.</p> + +<p>"There were a great many of them at the start, but only a few days had +passed when their ranks became sensibly depleted.</p> + +<p>"Certain members of the party, the timid ones, who were encumbered with +a load of useless scruples, soon succumbed to the weight of their +burdens.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146"></a>[pg +146]</span>"Others, the fearful ones, became panic-stricken at the +difficulties they encountered in battling with the earlier stages of the +journey.</p> + +<p>"The modest, after several days' marching, fell to the rear, from fear +of attracting too much attention, and were very soon lost sight of.</p> + +<p>"The careless, wearied by their efforts, took to resting in the ditches +along the road, and ate all their store of provisions for the journey +without worrying at all about the time when they might be hungry.</p> + +<p>"The braggarts and the boasters, after exhibiting a temporary +enthusiasm, gave out at the first dangers encountered on the march.</p> + +<p>"The curious, instead of striving to maintain the courage of those who +walked at the head of the column, kept leading them into difficulties, in +which many of the foremost were lost.</p> + +<p>"The rash were greatly reduced in numbers by their own +foolhardiness.</p> + +<p>"The final result was that only a handful of men, after many weary days +and nights, reached the Eden that they had set out to attain.</p> + +<p>"These men were disciples of energy, those to whom this virtue had given +courage, ambition, the self-control and the self-mastery needed to vanquish +and overcome the perils of the way; <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_147" id="Page_147"></a>[pg 147]</span>those who, by their cool +and courageous bearing, had been able to impress upon their companions, now +become their disciples, the indomitable hardihood with which they were +themselves filled."</p> + +<p>We see in this fable how all the qualities of poise worked together for +the accomplishment of the destined end.</p> + +<p>First courage, which must not be confounded either with rashness or with +effrontery.</p> + +<p>Courage, the perfect manifestation of confidence in oneself.</p> + +<p>This quality is at the bottom of all great enterprises, of which all the +risks, however, have been carefully considered in advance.</p> + +<p>The man of courage does not deceive himself as to the dangers of the +deeds he has determined to perform. He accepts them bravely. He has +foreseen them all, and he knows how to act in order to turn them to his own +advantage.</p> + +<p>The coolness characteristic of all men of poise gives them the power of +estimating wisely how things are likely to turn out.</p> + +<p>They do not fail to appreciate the importance of certain circumstances, +to realize their bearing, and to admit the dangers to which they may give +rise. Thus they are ready for the fray and <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_148" id="Page_148"></a>[pg 148]</span>are armed at all points +for a well-considered defense.</p> + +<p>Shame on the superficial people who close their eyes in order not to see +the obstacles that their own lack of foresight has prevented them from +anticipating.</p> + +<p>Let us press back the timid; declare war on the boasters; show our +contempt for the inveterately modest (who are only so to flatter their own +vanity); express our hatred of the envious, who are always incapable; +distrust the slothful; and arm ourselves with a justifiable pride, which, +by imparting to us a sense of our merits, will enable us to acquire poise, +true index of those who are legitimately sure of themselves and are +conscious of their sterling worth.</p> + +<p>But, above all, let us raise in our inmost hearts a temple to reason, +the author of that quiet confidence that makes success a certainty.</p> + +<p>This is the work of the man who has achieved the conquest of poise. It +is the one particular evidence of this priceless quality.</p> + +<p>Poise, by inspiring its possessor with a belief in his merits, that is +productive of good resolutions, enables him to employ in relation to +himself the fine art of absolutely sincere reasoning.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149"></a>[pg +149]</span>There are, as is well-known, many ways of looking at things.</p> + +<p>Every thing has several sides and, in accordance with the angle at which +we examine it, seems to us more or less favorable.</p> + +<p>The superficial man only sees things, and only <i>wants</i> to see them, +from the viewpoint of his own desires.</p> + +<p>To the morose man all their contours appear distorted.</p> + +<p>The optimist, on the contrary, carefully changes their outlines.</p> + +<p>Only to the man who makes a practise of rational thinking comes a true +vision of both the good and the bad that exist in everything.</p> + +<p>This science of reasoning is the base of all deductive processes, that, +in strengthening the judgment, aid in the formation of poise.</p> + +<p>Without reason the scaffolding of the most splendid resolves falls to +the ground.</p> + +<p>Without reason we wander aimlessly in bypaths instead of following the +broad highway.</p> + +<p>Without reason, in short, we become guilty of injustice, not only toward +others, but still more toward ourselves, since we can not form a correct +estimate of our own characters.</p> + +<p>It is reason which enables us to choose the <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_150" id="Page_150"></a>[pg 150]</span>happy mean that leaves the +country of fear to reach the goal of reserve, and follows it to the extreme +limit of poise without ever encroaching upon the territory of +effrontery.</p> + +<p>It is poise alone that enables us to communicate to others the qualities +which we possess.</p> + +<p>This has ever been the gift of men of genius, of those who could enforce +their doctrines and impose them upon others by the sheer strength of their +attitude and the way in which they analyzed and reasoned out all their +principles.</p> + +<p>What conviction can he hope to carry to his hearers who is not himself +persuaded of the truth of the theories he is presenting?</p> + +<p>This is the condition of those timid people who give their advice in the +same tone they would use to ask it.</p> + +<p>For this reason they never become expert. They rarely ever taste of +success and usually sink into a state of discontent and envy.</p> + +<p>This last fault is nearly always indulged in by the timid, whom it +soothes, not simply because of its maliciousness, but because envy seems to +them to condone their own inertia by giving them an excuse for their lack +of action.</p> + +<p>For people of mediocre mentality to deny the intelligence of others is +to bring them down <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" +id="Page_151"></a>[pg 151]</span>into their own plane and saves them the +effort of climbing to that of their superiors.</p> + +<p>And since lack of sincerity toward themselves is always one of the +faults of those who are wanting in poise, they can not help feeling a +sentiment of jealousy toward those who have succeeded where they themselves +have failed.</p> + +<p>Instead of doing justice without bitterness to the superiority of others +by a determination to imitate it, they take the simpler course of envying +the good fortune of their neighbors and attribute it all to luck.</p> + +<p>Whenever you hear any one expatiating upon what he calls the luck of +some one else, you may be sure that he is a person entirely deficient in +those qualities which could attract what he calls luck, but what is really, +in the majority of cases, merely the result of hard work based upon a +reasoned poise.</p> + +<p>Here we may add that this quality is often the key to good fortune, +since it permits the head of a family, who is possest of it to establish +about him sympathetic currents, based upon the confidence that he +inspires.</p> + +<p>It is a matter of common knowledge how courage communicates itself from +one to another.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152"></a>[pg +152]</span>The man who dreads the idea of doing something will attempt it +without hesitation if he finds himself supported by some one who seems to +have no doubt as to the happy outcome of the enterprise.</p> + +<p>It is, therefore, most essential, in order to exercise a beneficent +influence upon his household, that the head of a family should be possest +of poise, which will awaken in them a sense of protection, while at the +same time making them aware of a kindly authority.</p> + +<p>It must not be inferred from this that every head of a family should +pose as being infallible.</p> + +<p>This would be a most foolish proceeding on his part. It would often +happen that circumstances, by proving his predictions untrue, would destroy +the faith in him that those in his household must possess.</p> + +<p>It is only the presumptuous and the egotistical who pride themselves on +their infallibility, as we have pointed out at length in preceding +chapters.</p> + +<p>The man of real poise will be more than careful not to pose as a +prophet, still less as an autocrat.</p> + +<p>He will study to establish about him an atmosphere of confidence suited +to the development <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" +id="Page_153"></a>[pg 153]</span>and the strengthening of the bonds which +unite him to those of his household.</p> + +<p>Nothing is more touching than the blind faith shown by some children +toward their parents.</p> + +<p>People of timidity will never arouse a feeling of this sort.</p> + +<p>However real the affection of children may be for such parents, there +will always be mingled with it a modicum of indulgent pity, caused by their +distrust, if the parents happen to be people of timidity, of what seem to +them mediocre abilities.</p> + +<p>They will feel themselves more willingly attracted toward a stranger, if +his attitude toward life appears to be one that may support and assist +their weakness. Their affection for their parents will be in no way +diminished, but they will cease to regard them as being vitally necessary +to the harmony of their existence.</p> + +<p>This lack of trust that timidity occasions can result in very serious +misfortunes.</p> + +<p>In driving a child who seeks for some firm guidance to appeal to others +than his natural protectors, there is always the risk of his following a +method of education that is basically opposed to all the traditions of the +family.</p> + +<p>How many children are thrown in this way <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_154" id="Page_154"></a>[pg 154]</span>upon the tender mercies of +a teacher whose views of life, albeit perfectly honorable, are quite +opposed to the plans of the parents.</p> + +<p>Such people, instead of complaining of the conduct of the teacher and +crying out about the leading astray of their child, would do better to +question themselves and to ask their own hearts whether their children have +ever found in them the protection that is being given them by others.</p> + +<p>We do not want to overwork the old fable of the oak and the ivy. +Nevertheless, it is to the point to remark that this plant attaches itself +to none but the most solid trunks, disdaining the Weaker saplings that will +bend beneath its weight and will, after a little while, force it to return +to the ground instead of helping it to climb into the air.</p> + +<p>The man endowed with poise plays in his own family the rôle of the +oak which lends the strength of its trunk as an aid to weakness, covering +with the shadow of its branches the feeble efforts that too hot a sun or +too violent a storm might easily bring to nothing.</p> + +<p>And if the storm should break it is the crest that it presents with +pride to the fury of the elements that will keep it from being itself +destroyed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155"></a>[pg +155]</span>It must also be remembered that the instinct of the Ego +flourishes in every one of us, often quite unconsciously, but always with +sufficient force to make it certain that this ego will be developed in the +direction in which it sees chances of support.</p> + +<p>We are not speaking here of mere egoism, which is a species of +acknowledgment of weakness that very young children are incapable of making +to themselves, but which those who are older will try to avoid.</p> + +<p>But there is no one, even among the most strong, who has not felt at +some time in his life the joy of finding counsel, moral support, or +protection, if only in the form of a hearty and energetic agreement with +his ideas.</p> + +<p>One can not wonder, therefore, that people of poise are able to draw to +themselves sympathies and devotion of which the timid are entirely +ignorant.</p> + +<p>We should add that poise, in giving one ease, imparts to the slightest +gesture a fittingness that constitutes a special grace, that one can not +always define, but where appearance can never be mistaken.</p> + +<p>It might be termed distinction.</p> + +<p>People of poise, whether they be homely or <span class="pagenum"><a +name="Page_156" id="Page_156"></a>[pg 156]</span>handsome, insignificant or +imposing, sickly or radiating health, all possess this enviable gift in a +marked degree.</p> + +<p>Distinction is the parent of victory.</p> + +<p>It conquers, for those who possess it, the greater part of their +adversaries, who lay down their arms without dreaming of offering +battle.</p> + +<p>Distinction impresses every one, both those who are deprived of it and +those who are possest of it.</p> + +<p>It is the most direct means of influencing others in the direction one +wishes them to take.</p> + +<p>It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no +harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power.</p> + +<p>Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when +it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate in +this book.</p> + +<p>False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those +mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler.</p> + +<p>At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like +his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away little +by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an empty dream. +This is invariably <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" +id="Page_157"></a>[pg 157]</span>what happens when what appears to be +distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff.</p> + +<p>The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon +arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the +dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus +made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to forgive +him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with the hurt +to their wounded pride.</p> + +<p>Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes +from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve it +untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by +disappointments they may cause in others.</p> + +<p>If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness +or lack of character.</p> + +<p>Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their +energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very defeats +of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool determination.</p> + +<p>The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, +while the recollection <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" +id="Page_158"></a>[pg 158]</span>of past reverses makes them more wary and +more keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events.</p> + +<p>Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will +renew the confidence of all their friends.</p> + +<p>They are a power, and under this title they receive the homage of all. +Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay +their own weaknesses upon their strength.</p> + +<p>Their assistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of +being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have +near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat.</p> + +<p>Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when +its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of +her hand, it steps out with confidence.</p> + +<p>If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and +overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which he +really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down.</p> + +<p>Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of +spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159"></a>[pg +159]</span>similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fortitude +that approximates to theirs.</p> + +<p>They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls +with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, +misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will combat +it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to beat a +retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who will yield to +it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession of him without a +murmur.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 13877-h.txt or 13877-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/8/7/13877">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/8/7/13877</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Starke + +Release Date: October 26, 2004 [eBook #13877] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT*** + + +Mental Efficiency Series + +POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT + +by + +D. STARKE + +Translated by Francis Medhurst, D.Litt. + +1916 + + + + + + + +"POISE IS A POWER DERIVED FROM THE MASTERY OF SELF" + + + + +PREFACE + + +All efforts directed toward the correcting of temperamental or mental +blemishes or defects and nervous conditions are of benefit to humanity. +In producing this book the Author's purpose was to help mankind to +overcome these weaknesses, which are a serious impediment to mental +development, and hinder personal advancement and general progress. The +aim of the Publishers in issuing this translation is to put into the +hands of those who wish to overcome their failings, become masters of +themselves, and command the attention and respect of others, a work that +has been thoroughly tested abroad and one that will be found of +exceptional service in attaining the end in view--the securing of a +perfect balance. + +This book is written in two parts. The first points to the need of Poise +in daily life, indicates the obstacles to be overcome, and discusses the +effects of Poise on personal efficiency. The second instructs the reader +how to secure that evenness of temperament which is the chief +characteristic of Poise. It includes, in addition, a series of practical +physical exercises to be used in acquiring Poise. + +If such a work as this is to do good, if the reader really wishes to +benefit by the advice that it gives him, it must be read thoughtfully +and diligently, not fitfully and forgetfully, and the reader most +steadfastly keep before him the maxim of the Author--"Poise is a power +derived from the Mastery of Self." + +THE PUBLISHERS. + + + + +CONTENTS + +Preface + +PART ONE +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + I. The Need of Poise in Life + II. The Enemies of Poise + III. War on Timidity + +PART TWO +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + I. Modesty and Effrontery Contrasted + II. Physical Exercises to Acquire Poise + III. Four Series of Physical Exercises + IV. Practical Exercises for Obtaining Poise + V. The Supreme Achievement + + + + +PART I + +POISE: ITS NEED, ITS ENEMIES, ITS EFFECT + + +CHAPTER I + +THE NEED OF POISE IN LIFE + + +Lack of poise has always been an obstacle to those who are imbued with +the desire to succeed. + +In every age the awkwardness born of timidity has served to keep back +those who suffered from it, but this defect has never been so great a +drawback as in the life of to-day. + +The celebrated phrase of the ancient Roman writer who said, "Fortune +smiles on the brave," could very well serve as our motto nowadays, with +this slight alteration: "Fortune smiles on those who are possest of +poise." + +At this point let us attempt an exact definition of poise. + +It is a quality which enables us to judge of our own value, and which, +in revealing to us the knowledge of the things of which we are really +capable, gives us at the same time the desire to accomplish them. + +It is not a quality wholly simple. On the contrary, it is a composite of +many others all of which take part in the molding of that totality which +bears the name of poise. + +It may be well to pass in review the principal qualities of which it is +composed, that one may characterize as follows: + +Will. + +Reason. + +Knowledge of one's own value. + +Correctness of judgment. + +Sincerity toward oneself. + +The power of resisting the appeals of self-love. + +Contempt of adverse criticism. + +Pride that is free from vanity. + +A definite and clearly conceived ambition. + +Will, as is well known, is the pivot of all our resolutions, whether the +question for the moment be how to form them or how to keep them when +formed. + +A man without will-power is a straw, blown about by every wind and +carried, whether he will or no, into situations in which he has no valid +reason for finding himself. + +Without the will-power which enables us to take a firm hold of ourselves +and to get a grip upon our impressions, they will remain vague and +nebulous without presenting to us characters of sufficient definiteness +to enable us to direct them readily into the proper channels. + +It is will-power which gives us the force to maintain a resolution which +will lead us to the hoped-for goal of success. + +It is will-power also which enables us to correct the faults which stand +in the way of the acquiring of poise. + +We are not now speaking of those idle fancies which are no more than +manifestations of nervousness. We have in mind rather that controlled +and enduring purpose which arms the heart against the assaults of the +emotions by giving it the strength to overcome them. + +There are many cases even in which will-power has led to their entire +suppression. + +This happens more particularly in the case of those artificial emotions +that the man of resolution ignores completely, but which cause agony to +the timid who do not know how to escape them, and exaggerate them to +excess. + +This abnormal development of their personalities is the peculiarity of +the timid, which their fitful efforts of will only heighten, alienating +from them the sympathy which might be of assistance to them. + +They take refuge in a species of mischievous and fruitless activity, +leaving the field open to the development of all sorts of imaginary ills +that argument does not serve to combat. + +Their ego, whose importance is in no way counterbalanced by their +appreciation of the friends they keep at a distance, fills their entire +existence to such an extent that they have no doubt whatever that, when +they are in public, every eye is, of necessity, fixt upon them. + +Their negative will leaves them at the mercy of every sort of emotion, +which, in arousing in them the necessity of a reaction they feel +themselves powerless to realize, reduces them to a state of inferiority +that, when it becomes known, is the source of grave embarrassment to +them. + +The power of will which sustains those who wish to acquire the habit of +poise is, then, the capacity to accomplish acts solely because one has +the ardent desire to achieve them. + +We are now speaking, understand, neither of extreme heroism or of +impossibilities. + +Another point presents itself here. Willpower, in order to preserve its +energy, must be sustained and fixt. At this price alone can we achieve +poise. We must, therefore, thoroughly saturate ourselves with this +principle: Reasoning-power is an essential element in the upbuilding of +poise. + +It is reasoning-power which teaches us to distinguish between those +things that we must be careful to avoid and those which are part and +parcel of the domain of exaggeration and fantasy. + +It is also by means of reasoning that we arrive at the proper +appreciation of the just mean that we must observe. It is by its aid +that we are enabled to disentangle those impulses that will prove +profitable from a chaos of useless risks. + +It is always by virtue of deductions depending upon reason that we are +able to adopt a resolution or to maintain an attitude that we believe to +be correct, while preserving our self-possession under circumstances in +which persons of a timorous disposition would certainly lose their +heads. + +Those who know how to reason never expose themselves to the possibility +of being unhorsed by fate for lack of good reasons for strengthening +themselves in their chosen course. + +They adhere, in the very heat of discussion and in spite of the +onslaughts of destiny, to the line of conduct that sage reflection has +taught them to adopt and are more than careful never to abandon it +except for the most valid reasons. + +They never stray into the byways in which the timid and the shrinking +constantly wander without sufficient thought of the goal toward which +they are journeying. + +They know where they are going, and if, now and again, they ask for +information about the road that remains to be traveled, it is with no +intention of changing their course, but simply so as not to miss the +short cuts and to lose nothing of the pleasures of the scenes through +which they may pass. + +Reasoning-power is the trade-mark of superior minds. Mediocre natures +take no interest in it and, as we have seen, the timid are incapable of +it, except in so far as it follows the beaten path. + +True poise never is guided by anything but reason. Certain risks can +never be undertaken save after ripe deliberation. + +Confusion is never the fate of those who are resolved on a definite line +of conduct. + +Such people are careful to plumb the questions with which they have to +grapple and to weigh the inconveniences and the advantages of the acts +they have the desire to accomplish. + +When their decision is once made, however, nothing will prevent the +completion of the work they have begun. Such people are ripe for +success. + +The knowledge of one's real worth is a quality doubly precious when +contrasted with the fact that the majority of people are more than +indulgent to their own failings. Of many of them it may be said, in the +words of the Arab proverb, couched in the language of imagery: "This man +has no money, but in his pocket everything turns to gold." + +This saying, divested of the language of hyperbole, means simply that +the man in question is so obsessed with the greatness of his own +personal value that he exaggerates the importance of everything that +concerns him. + +This condition is a much more common one than one might at first +believe. Many an occurrence which, when it happens to some one else, +seems to us quite devoid of interest, becomes, when it directly affects +us, a matter to compel the attention of others, to the extent that we +find ourselves chilled and disappointed when we discover that we are the +victims of that indifference which we were prepared to exhibit toward +other people under similar circumstances. + +The consciousness of our own worth must not be confounded with that +adoration of self which transforms poise into egotism. + +It is a good thing to know one's own powers sufficiently well to +undertake only such tasks as are certainly within the scope of one's +abilities. + +To believe oneself more capable than one really is, is a fault that is +far too common. It is, nevertheless, less harmful in the long run than +the failing which is its exact antithesis. Lack of confidence in one's +own powers is the source of every kind of feebleness and of all +unsuccess. + +It is for this reason that poise never can exist without another +quality, that correctness of judgment which, in giving us the breadth of +mind to know exactly how much we are capable of, permits us to undertake +our tasks without boasting and without hesitation. + +Soundness of judgment is the faculty of being able to appreciate the +merits of our neighbors without cherishing any illusions as to our own, +and of being able to do this so exactly that we can with assurance carry +out to its end any undertaking, knowing that the result must be, barring +accidents, precisely what we have foreseen. + +This being the case, what possible reason can we have for depreciating +ourselves or for lacking poise? + +Timid people suffer without recognizing their own defects in the matter +of insight. + +They torture themselves by building their judgments upon indications and +not upon facts. + +If the perception of a man of resolution causes him to understand at +once the emptiness of criticisms based on envy or spleen, the timid man, +always ready to seize upon anything that can be possibly construed into +an appearance of ridicule directed against himself, will give up a +project that he hears criticized without stopping to weigh the value of +the arguments advanced. + +Far from arguing the question out, or attempting a rebuttal, he never +even dreams of it. The very thought of a contest, however courteously it +may be conducted, frightening him to such an extent that he loses all +his ideas. + +The unfortunate shrinking which characterizes him makes him an easy prey +for people of exaggerated enthusiasms as well as to quick +disillusionment. + +A token of apparent sympathy touches him so profoundly that he does not +wait to estimate its value and to decide whether it be sincere or not. + +He passes in a moment from careless gaiety to the blackest despair if he +imagines that he has observed even the appearance of an unsympathetic +gesture. + +He does not need to be sure, to be miserable. It is enough for him if +the circumstances that he thought favorable become seemingly hostile and +antagonistic. + +How utterly different is the attitude of the man who is endowed with +poise! + +His firmness of soul saves him from unconsidered enthusiasms and he +jealously preserves his control in the presence of excessive +protestations as well as when confronting indications of aimless +antagonism. + +How can such a man as this possibly fail to form a correct judgment and +to benefit by all the qualities that depend upon it? + +Absolute sincerity toward oneself is one of the forms of sound judgment. + +Without indulging in excessive modesty, it is a good thing to endeavor +to become intimately acquainted with one's aptitudes and one's failings, +and to admit the latter with the utmost frankness in order to set about +the work of correcting them. + +It is also necessary to know exactly what sort of territory it is in +which one is taking one's risks. + +The world of affairs, whatever these last may happen to be, may be +likened to a vast preserve containing traps for wild beasts. + +The man who wishes to walk in such a place without coming to harm will, +first of all, make a careful study of the ground for the purpose of +avoiding the traps and pitfalls that may engulf him or wound him as he +passes. + +Just as soon as he has located these dangers his step becomes firm and +he can advance with a tranquil gait and head upraised along the paths +which he knows do not conceal any dangerous surprizes. + +These are the pitfalls that most frequently threaten that daring that we +sometimes find in the timid. + +Their very defects preventing them from making proper comparisons, they +are altogether too prone to ignore their faults and to magnify their +virtues and so fall an easy prey to the designer and the sharper. + +Their very carelessness in estimating other people becomes the +foundation of an involuntary partiality the moment they are called upon +to judge their own actions. + +It is not deliberate self-indulgence that drives them to act in this +way, but their inexperience, which gives rise in them to the desire for +perfection, and this necessarily provokes, simultaneously with the +despair caused by their failure to attain it, a fear of having this +failure remarked or commented upon. + +The man who possesses poise is too familiar with the realities of life +not to be aware that the search for such an ideal is a Utopian dream. + +But he is also aware that, if actual perfection does not exist, it is +the bounden duty of man to struggle always in pursuit of good and to +show appreciation of it in whatsoever form it may manifest itself. + +Sincerity toward himself thus becomes for him an easy matter indeed, and +for the very reason that his poise leaves him absolutely free to form a +correct estimate of others. + +Serious self-examination throws a clear light for him upon those merits +of which he has a right to be proud, while revealing to him at the same +time the faults to which he is most likely to yield. + +The habit of estimating himself and his own qualities without fear or +favor gives him great facility for gaging the motives of other people. + +He thus avoids the pitfalls that a biased viewpoint spreads before the +feet of the foolish, and at the same time represses that feeling of +vanity which might lead him to believe that he is altogether too clever +to fall into them. + +He watches himself constantly to avoid getting into the bypaths which he +sees with sorrow that others are following, and does not fail to +estimate accurately the value of the victories he achieves over himself +as well as over the duplicity of most of the people who surround him. + +And this superiority is what makes certain his poise. More difficult +perhaps than anything else to acquire is the power to resist the appeals +of one's own self-love. + +We will explain this later at greater length. Lack of poise is often due +to nothing so much as an excess of vanity which throws one back upon +oneself from the fear of not being able to shine in the front rank. + +Such a person does not say to himself: "I will conquer this place by +sheer merit." He contents himself with envying those who occupy it, +quite neglecting to put forth the efforts which would place him there +beside them. + +There is nothing worse than yielding to an exaggerated tenderness toward +ourselves, which, by magnifying our merits in our own eyes, frequently +leads us to make attempts which result in failure and expose us to +ridicule. + +This is a most frequent cause of making an inveterate coward of one who +is subject to occasional attacks of timidity. + +To know one's limitations exactly and never to allow oneself to exceed +them--this is the part of wisdom, the act of a man who, as the saying +goes, knows what he is about. + +There is in every effort a necessary limit that it is not wise to +exceed. + +"Never force your talents," says a very pithy proverb. Never undertake +to do a thing that is beyond your powers. + +Never allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion on a subject which is +beyond your intellectual depth. To do so is to take the risk of making +mistakes that will render you ridiculous. + +But if you are quite convinced that you can come out victorious, never +hesitate to enter a trial of wits that may serve as an occasion for +demonstrating the fact that you are sure of your subject. + +The man who cultivates poise will never let pass such opportunities as +this for exhibiting himself in a favorable light. + +Conscious of the soundness of his own judgment, and filled with a real +sincerity toward himself, he will not allow himself to be carried away +by a possible chance of success. Rather will he gather himself together, +collect his forces, and wait until he can achieve a real effect upon the +minds of those whom he wishes to impress. + +Similarly the result of unsuccess in such a venture is obvious. It has +the effect of developing a distrust of oneself and of destroying the +superb assurance of those people of whom it is often said: "Oh, he! He +is sailing with the wind at his back!" + +People generally fail to add in these cases that such persons have left +nothing undone to accomplish this result and are more than careful not +to weigh anchor when the wind is not favorable. + +It is true enough that there can be no actual shelter from a storm, but +the mariner who is prepared is able to ride it out without appreciable +damage, while those who are not prepared generally founder on account of +their poor seamanship. + +Disregard of calumny is always the index of a noble spirit. + +The man who wastes time over such indignities and who allows himself to +be affected by them is not of the stature that insures victory in the +struggle. + +Minds of large caliber disdain these manifestations of futile jealousy. + +People of obscurity are never vilified. Only those whose merits have +placed them in the limelight are the targets for the attacks of envy and +for the slanders of falsehood. + +A precept that has often been enunciated, and can not be too often +repeated, which should, indeed, be inscribed in letters of gold over the +doors of every institution where men meet together, runs as follows: +"Envy and malice are nothing more than homage rendered to superiority." + +Only those who occupy an enviable position can become objects of +calumny. + +Such calumny is always the work of the unworthy, who think to advertise +their own merits by denying those of better men. + +Men of resolution under such circumstances simply shrug their shoulders +and pass by. + +The rest, those who are enslaved by timidity, become confused. + +Their ego, which they cultivated in a fashion at once obscure and +absolute, becomes so profoundly affected that they lack all courage to +openly defend it. + +Moreover, that instinctive need of sympathy, which is so marked a +characteristic of the timid, is deeply wounded, while their chronic fear +of disapprobation is strengthened by the criticisms spread abroad. + +The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid +shuns society, yet nevertheless the judgments of this same society are +for him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a +disease of many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality. + +It is always a mental weakness. It is sometimes vanity, but never pride, +that reasonable pride that a philosophy now abandoned once numbered as +one of the principal vices, and which, if rightly estimated, can be +considered as the motive power of every noble action. + +Pride is a force. It is therefore a virtue which must of necessity be +one of the components of poise, so long as it contains within it no +seeds of vanity. Under such circumstances it is a primal condition of +success in the achievement of poise. Pride must, however, be free from +vanity, otherwise it ceases to be a force and becomes a cause of +deterioration. + +As a matter of fact, those who are conceited are always the dupes of +their own desire to bulk largely in the minds of others, and at the mere +thought that they will not shine as they have hoped to do the majority +of them are put entirely out of countenance and are quite at a loss for +means of expression. + +The inevitable result of this tendency is to drive them into association +with mediocrity. In such a society alone will the vain find themselves +at their ease. But the very moment that they find themselves in the +presence of those who are their superiors, the fear of not being able to +occupy the front rank throws them into such a state of mental disarray +that they entirely lose their assurance and that appearance of poise by +whose aid they are often able to deceive others. + +Finally, one of the most solid elements of poise is, without doubt, a +well-defined ambition, that is to say, one that is divested of the +drawbacks of frivolity and directly winged toward the goal of one's +hopes. + +The man who possesses ambition of this kind is certainly destined to +acquire, if he has not already acquired it, that poise which is +absolutely necessary to him in order to make his way in the world. + +He will neither be pretentious nor timorous, exaggerated nor fearful. He +will go forward without hesitation toward the goal which he knows to be +before him, and will make, without any apologies, those detours which +seem to him necessary to the success of his undertaking, without paying +any attention to the fruitless distractions that make victims of the +rash. + +He will not have to put up with the affront of being refused, for he +will ask aid only of those persons who, for various reasons, he is +practically sure will be of assistance to him. The knowledge of his own +deserts, while keeping him in the position he has attained, will prevent +him from being satisfied in commonplace surroundings, and his will-power +will always maintain him at the level he has reached, permitting him no +latitude save that of exceeding it. + +Such is true poise, not that whose spirit one violates by merely +associating it with the incapable, the pretentious, or the extravagant, +but that which is at once the motive power and the inspiration of all +the actions of those who, in their determination to force their way +through the great modern struggle for existence, perseveringly follow a +line of conduct that they have worked out for themselves in advance. + +Ignoring such enterprises as they know to be unworthy of their powers, +those who are possest of real poise (and not of that foolish temerity +colloquially known as _bluff_) will devote themselves solely to such +tasks as a well-ordered judgment and an accurate knowledge of their own +potentialities indicate to them to be fitting. + +Does this mean that they will succeed in every case? + +Unfortunately, no! But such of them as have met with temporary failure, +if they are able to assure themselves that their lack of success has +been due neither to a failure of will-power nor a fear of ridicule, will +return to the charge, once more prepared to make headway against +circumstances which they have the poise to foresee, and which they will +at least render incapable of harming them, even if they lack the +necessary force to dominate them completely to their own advantage. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE ENEMIES OF POISE + + +The enemies of poise are many and of different origins, both of feeling +and of impulse. + +They all tend, however, toward the same result, the cessation of effort +under pretexts more or less specious. + +It is of no use deceiving ourselves. Lack of poise has its roots deep in +all the faults which are caused by apathy and purposeless variety. + +We have learned in the previous chapter how greatly the vice of lack of +confidence in oneself can retard the development of the quality we are +considering. + +Balanced between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure, the +timid man leads a miserable existence, tortured by unavailing regrets +and by no less useless aspirations, which torment him like the worm that +dieth not. + +Little by little the habit of physical inaction engenders a moral +inertia and the victim learns to fly from every opportunity of escaping +from his bondage. + +Very soon an habitual state of idleness takes possession of him and +causes him to avoid everything that tends to make action necessary. + +The dread of responsibility that might devolve upon him turns him aside +from every sort of endeavor, and he passes his life in a hopeless and +sluggish inaction, from a fear of drawing down upon himself reproaches +to which he might have to make answer or of being compelled to take part +in discussions which would involve the disturbing of his indolent +repose. + +Are we to suppose then that he finds real happiness in such a state of +things? + +Certainly not, for this negative existence weighs upon him with all the +burden of a monotony that he feels powerless to throw off. His own +mediocrity enrages him while the success of others fills him with +dismay. + +Nevertheless his weakness of character allows the hate of action to +speak more loudly to him than legitimate ambition, and keeps him in a +state of obvious inferiority that of itself gives birth to numberless +new enemies, who end by destroying him utterly. + +He is first attacked by slowness of comprehension, the inevitable +consequence of that idleness that causes the cowardly to shun the +battle. + +Rather than combat influences from without he allows them daily to +assume a more prominent and a more definite place in his thoughts. + +His hatred of action says no to all initiative and he considers that he +has accomplished his whole duty toward society and toward himself when +he says: "What's the use of undertaking this or that? I haven't a chance +of succeeding and it is therefore idle to invite defeat!" + +So quickly does the change work that his mind, from lack of proper +exercise, rapidly reaches the condition where it can not voluntarily +comprehend any but the most simple affairs and goes to pieces when +confronted with occasions that call for reflection or reasoning, which +he considers as the hardest kind of work. + +It is hardly a matter for astonishment, therefore, that under these +conditions effeminacy should take possession of a soul that has become +the sport of all the weaknesses that are born of a desire to avoid +exertion. + +We do not care to draw the picture of that case too often encountered in +which this moral defeat becomes changed into envy, the feeling of +bitterness against all men, the veritable hell of the man who has not +the power to make the effort that shall free him. + +Mental instability is the inevitable consequence of this state of +affairs. + +All brain-activity being regarded as a useless toil, the man of timidity +never understands the depth of the questions he has not the courage to +discuss. If he does talk of them, it is with a bias rendered all the +more prejudiced by the fact that, instead of expressing his ideas, he +takes refuge in fortifying his heresies with arguments of which the +smallest discussion would demonstrate the worthlessness. + +This unwillingness to discuss conditions gives rise among people who are +deficient in poise to a special form of reasoning, which causes them to +summarize in the most hurried fashion even the gravest events, upon the +sole consideration that they are not asked to take part in them. If, by +any chance, they are forced to be actors in these events the least +little incident assumes for them the most formidable proportions. + +It seems probable that this tendency to exaggerate everything with which +they come in contact is due solely to egoism. It is certain at any rate +that egoism plays a large part in it, but some portion of it is due to +the lack of observation that characterizes all people of timidity. + +The mental idleness and the instability of mind that we have already +considered render such people less inclined to consider with any degree +of care those things which do not touch them directly. + +At this stage, it is no longer possible for them to feign ignorance in +order to avoid the trouble of thinking, and they are only touched, even +by the most personal matters, to the extent that circumstances impose +upon them the necessity of thinking or of acting with reference to the +subject under consideration. + +The idea that they can no longer avoid the resolutions which must be +made and their fear of the consequences which may result from these +affect them to such a profound extent that the most insignificant of +occurrences immediately assumes for them an altogether incommensurate +importance. + +This state of mind is a notable foe of poise. It is practically +impossible for a person under such conditions to believe that any +considerable effort he has made can have passed unperceived. + +This propensity to assign an exaggerated importance to personal affairs +develops egoism, the avowed enemy of poise. An egoist necessarily +assumes that the rest of the world attributes to his acts the importance +he himself assigns to them. + +This preoccupation does not fail to upset him. It increases his +embarrassment and the fear of not appearing in the light in which he +wishes to be seen paralyzes him, while the dread of what other people +may think prevents him from being himself. + +To this cause many otherwise inexplicable defeats must be assigned, the +result of which is a renewed resentment against the world at large and +an ardent desire to avoid any further exposure to the chance of failure. + +A case in point is the man who becomes nervous while making a speech, +starts to stammer, and makes a lamentable failure of what began well +enough, because he imagines that persons in the audience are making fun +of him. + +He has overheard a word, or surprized a look, neither of which had any +relation to him, but so great is his egoism that he does not dream that +any one in the audience can be so lacking in taste as to be concerned +with anything but himself. + +Had this man, in spite of his egoism, been endowed with poise, he would +have gone along calmly, simply forcing himself to ignore all criticism +and to impress his very critics by his attitude and his eloquence. But +his distrust of himself, his mental instability, his habitual weakness +of reasoning, all these enemies of poise league themselves together to +inflict upon him a defeat, of which the memory will only aggravate his +nervousness and his desire never to repeat such an unpleasant +experience. + +For the man who has no poise there is no snatching victory from defeat. +His feeble will-power is completely routed, and the effort involved in +stemming the tide of adverse opinion is to him an impossibility. + +From dread of being carried away by the current, and feeling himself +incapable of struggling against it, he prefers to hide himself in the +caves along the shore, rather than to make one desperate effort to cross +the stream. + +But the very isolation he seeks, in depriving him of moral support, +increases his embarrassment. + +"It is not good for man to be alone," says Holy Writ. It is certainly +deplorable, for one who desires to make his way, to find himself without +a prop, without a counselor, and without a guide. + +This is the case of those timid persons who do not understand how to +make friends for themselves. + +Poise, on the other hand, invites sympathy. It aids men to expand. It +creates friends when needed, and weaves the bonds of comradeship and of +protection without which our social fabric could not hold together. + +Educators should seek for inspiration in the lessons that the exigencies +of modern life offer to the view of the observer. Excessive modesty, +sworn enemy of poise, is, socially speaking, a fault from which young +minds should be carefully guarded. + +It is the open door to all the feeblenesses which interfere with the +development of poise. + +It is a mistake that it has so long been considered as a virtue. + +In any case, the day of extreme humility is past. This detachment from +oneself is contrary to all the laws of progress. + +It is opposed to all the principles of evolution and of growth which +should be the study of all our contemporaries, whatever their station or +the class to which they may happen to belong. + +No man has the right to withdraw himself from the battle and to shirk +his duties, while watching other people fighting to maintain the social +equilibrium and seeking to achieve the position to which their talents +and their attainments render them worthy to aspire. + +That which is too easily honored with the title of modesty is generally +nothing more than a screen behind which conscious ineptitude conceals +itself. + +It is a very easy thing to strike a disdainful attitude and to exclaim: +"I didn't care to compete!" + +Do not forget that a defeat after a sanguinary combat is infinitely more +honorable than a retreat in which not a blow is struck. + +Moreover, the combats of the mind temper the soul, just as those of the +body fortify the flesh, by making both fit for the victory that is to +be. + +It is then against the enemies of poise that we must go forth to war. + +Cowardice must be hunted down, wherever we encounter it, because its +victims are thrown into the struggle of life burdened with an undeniable +inferiority. + +Even if they are worth while no one will be found to observe it, since +their lack of poise always turns them back upon themselves, and very few +people have the wit to discover what is so sedulously concealed. + +Deception is the necessary corollary of this, and one that very soon +becomes changed into spite. The disappointment of being misunderstood +must inevitably lead us to condemn those who do not comprehend us. Our +shyness will be increased at this and we shall end by disbelieving +ourselves in the qualities that we find other people ignoring in us. + +From this condition of discouragement to that of mental inertia it is +but a step, and many worthy people who lack poise have rapidly traveled +this road to plunge themselves into the obscurity of renunciation. + +They are like paralytics. Like these poor creatures they have limbs +which are of no service to them and which from habitual lack of +functioning end by becoming permanently useless. + +If their nature is a bad one they will have still more reason to +complain of this lack of poise, with its train of inconveniences of +which we have been treating, that will leave them weakened and a prey to +all sorts of mental excesses which will be the more serious in their +effects for the fact that their existence is known to no one but the +victims. + +Instead of admitting that their lack of poise-due to the various faults +of character we have been discussing--is the sole cause of the apparent +ostracism from which they suffer, they indulge in accusations against +fate, against the world, against circumstances, and grow to hate all +those who have succeeded, without being willing to acknowledge that they +have never seriously made the attempt themselves. + +Only those return home with the spoils who have taken part in the +battle, have paid with their blood and risked their lives. + +The man who remains in hiding behind the walls of his house can hardly +be astonished that such honors do not come his way. + +Life is a battle, and victory is always to the strong. The timid are +never called upon to take their share of the booty. It becomes the +property of those who have had the force to win it, either by sheer +courage or by cautious strategy, for real bravery is not always that +which calls for the easy applause of the crowd. + +It is found just as much among those who have the will-power to keep +silent as to their plans and to resist the temptation to actions which, +while satisfying their desire for energetic measures may destroy the +edifice that they have so carefully constructed. + +It is for this reason that enthusiasm may be considered with justice as +an enemy of poise. + +Those who act under the domination of an impulse born of a too-vivid +impression are rarely in a state of mind that can be depended upon to +judge sanely and impartially. They nearly always overshoot the mark at +which they aim. They are like runners dashing forward at such a high +speed that they can not bring themselves to a sudden stop. Habitual +enthusiasm is also the enemy of reflection. It is an obstacle to that +reason from which proceed strong resolves, and one is often impelled, in +observing people who are fired with too great an ardor, to thoughts of +the fable of the burning straw. + +A teacher, who inclined to the methods that consist of object lessons, +one day asked two children to make a choice between two piles, one of +straw, the other of wood. It is hardly necessary to add that while the +size of the pile of straw was great that of the wood was hardly +one-tenth of the volume. + +The first child, when told to make his choice, took the mass of straw, +which he set on fire easily enough, warming himself first from a +respectful distance and then at close range, in proportion as the heat +of the fire grew less. + +In so doing he made great sport of his companion, who struggled +meanwhile to set alight the pile of wood. But what was the outcome? + +The huge mass of straw was soon burned out, while the wood, once lit, +furnished a tranquil and steady flame, which the first child watched +with envy while seated by the mass of cinders that alone remained of the +vanished pile that he had chosen. + +The man of real poise is like the child who, disclaiming the transitory +blaze of the straw, prefers to work patiently at building a fire whose +moderate heat will afford him a durable and useful warmth. + +Let us then beware of sudden unreasoning enthusiasms. After the +ephemeral flame of their first ardor has burned itself out we shall but +find ourselves seated by the mass of ashes formed of our mistakes and +our dead energies. + +The rock on which so many abortive attempts are wrecked in the effort to +achieve poise is a type of sentimentality peculiar to certain natures. + +This state of mind is characterized by a craving for expansion, which is +all the more irritating since the timidity of the person concerned +prevents it from being satisfied. + +In place of relying upon themselves, feeling their disabilities and the +lack of poise which prevents them from proper expression, such people +try to make themselves understood by those who do not appreciate their +feelings, without stopping to think that they have done nothing to make +clear what they really need. + +Such a chaotic state of mind, based on errors of judgment, is a very +serious obstacle to the acquisition of poise. + +This anxiety to communicate their feelings, always rendered ineffective +by the difficulty of making the effort involved, gives rise in the long +run to a species of misanthropy. + +It is a matter of common knowledge that misanthropy urges those who +suffer from it to fall back upon themselves, and from this state to that +of active hostility toward others the road is short, and timid people +are rarely able to pull up before they have traversed it. + +There comes to them from this intellectual solitude an unhappiness so +profound that they are glad to be able to attribute to the mental +inferiority of others the condition of moral isolation in which they +live. + +To insist that they are misunderstood, and to pride themselves upon the +fact, is the inevitable fate of those who never can summon up courage to +undertake a battle against themselves. + +It seems to them a thousand times easier to say: "These minds are too +gross to comprehend mine," than to seek for a means of establishing an +understanding with those whom they tax with ignorance and insensibility. + +They might, perhaps, be convinced of the utility to them of divulging +their feelings, could they be forced into a position where they had to +defend their ideas or were compelled to put up a fight on behalf of +their convictions. + +In the ranks of the enemies of poise sullenness most certainly finds a +place. + +It is the fault of the feeble-spirited who have not the energy to affirm +their sentiments or to make a plain statement of their convictions that +they become incensed with those who oppose them. + +In their case a good deal of false pride is present. They know +themselves to be beaten and to be incapable of fighting, yet they are +too vain to accept defeat. They refuse the sympathy that wounds them, +and suffer the more from their inability to yield themselves to that +good-will which would aid and comfort them. + +From this mental conflict is born an irritation that manifests itself in +the form of obstinate sullenness. + +In other cases the same state of mind may produce radically different +results. + +Always obsessed by the fear of appearing ridiculous and by the no less +vivid dread of seeming to be an object of sympathy, such people are +often driven through lack of poise into extreme boastfulness. + +No man who has poise will ever fall a victim to this misfortune. + +He knows exactly what his capabilities are and he has no need to +exaggerate his own abilities to impress his friends. + +Poise calls for action, when this becomes necessary; but the man of +resolve, being always prepared to do what is needful, considers mere +boasting and bravado as something quite unworthy of him. + +There are, however, certain extenuating circumstances in the cases of +those timid people who take refuge in boasting. They are almost +invariably the dupes of their own fancies, and for the moment really +believe themselves to be capable of endeavors beset by difficulties, of +the surmounting of which they understand nothing. + +Nothing looks easier to duplicate than certain movements which are +performed with apparent ease by experts. + +Which of us has not been profoundly astonished at the enormous +difficulty experienced in accomplishing some simple act of manual toil +that we see performed without the least effort by a workman trained to +this particular task? + +What looks easier, for instance, than to plane a piece of wood or to dig +up the ground? + +Is it possible that the laborer, wheeling a barrow, really has to be +possest of skill or strength? + +It hardly seems so. And yet the man who takes a plane in his hands for +the first time will be astounded at the difficulty he experiences in +approximating to the regularity and lightness of stroke that comes +naturally to the carpenter. + +The man who essays to dig a piece of ground or to wheel a barrow, will +find himself making irregular ditches and traveling in zigzags, and all +this at the expense of a hundred times the energy put forth by the +workman who is accustomed to these particular forms of labor. + +The person of timidity who boasts of his remarkable exploits is +actuated, as a general rule, by sheer lack of experience. + +His peculiar fault keeps him always in the background and prevents him +from accomplishing any public action, and for this reason those efforts +appear easy to him that he has never thought of attempting. + +Further than this, aided by his false pride, he considers that his +merits are easily greater than those of the people who are not able to +understand him, and he is acting in perfect good faith when he professes +to be able to accomplish what they can not. + +Is it necessary to add that the ironical reception given to such +exhibitions of boastfulness rouse in him a feeling of irritation which +is all the greater for the fact that he does not openly show it? + +The man of resolve will never experience these unpleasant emotions. + +He knows exactly what he wants and what he can do. So we see him +marching ahead steadily, his eyes fixt upon the goal he has worked out +for himself, paying no heed whatever to misleading suggestions, which +cripple his breadth of soul and would in the end deprive him of that +essential energy which is vital to him if he would preserve his even +poise, the foundation of mental balance and the source of every real +success in life. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +WAR ON TIMIDITY + + +One can not be too insistent in asserting how harmful the lack of poise +can be, and when once this weakness has reached the stage of timidity it +may produce the most tragic consequences not only so far as the daily +routine of our lives is concerned, but also with reference to our moral +and physical equilibrium. + +So, when the nervous system is constantly set on edge by the emotions to +which this fault gives rise, it necessarily follows that all the +faculties suffer in their turn. + +This is particularly true of those who are constantly haunted by the +fear of finding themselves in a condition of mental unpreparedness, to +the extent that they prefer to remain in solitude and silence rather +than to mingle in a world which really has too many other things to +think of to concern itself with their acts or their opinions. + +This morbid dread of becoming the subject of ridicule ends by creating a +peculiar condition of mind of which, as we have already pointed out, +egoism is the pivot. + +In this way it is a common occurrence to see people of timidity paying +exaggerated attention to the slightest changes in the condition of their +health. + +Such people by shutting themselves out from the world have reduced it to +the circumference of their own personalities and everything which +touches them necessarily assumes gigantic importance in their eyes. + +The slightest opposition becomes for them a catastrophe. The smallest +unpleasantness presents itself to them in the light of a tragic +misfortune. + +For this reason the lives of the timid become a succession of boredoms +and of pains. + +Even in those cases where no really unfortunate incident occurs, these +people so exaggerate what actually does happen to them that the least +little emotion causes them the most profound unhappiness. + +On those days when nothing in particular happens they spend their time +anticipating all sorts of disasters, including those which are not the +least likely to happen. To them the tiniest cloud is an omen of a +devastating storm. + +When the sun is shining their timidity prevents them from exposing +themselves to the heat of its rays. + +The timid man, in his moral isolation, is like the hare, who, crouched +in its form, sleeps with one eye open in constant terror of the +passer-by or of the hunter. + +It may be well to add that worry about oneself is invariably an +accompaniment of all these troubles. People without poise are, with very +few exceptions, egotists who exaggerate their own importance. + +Moreover, they suffer keenly from the obscurity into which their defects +have forced them as well as from dread of the alternatives presented to +them, the making of an effort to escape this fate, an idea that fills +them with horror, or the continuing to live in the unhappy condition +that has spoiled existence for them through their own faults. + +It is hardly then a matter for surprize that so many people who are thus +mentally out of balance end by becoming neurotics or become a prey to +those cerebral disorders that are, unfortunately, all too frequent. + +This condition of solitude, at once deplored and self-imposed, has the +still more serious disadvantage of leaving the mind, for lack of proper +control, to the domination of the most false and exaggerated ideas. + +It is a well-known fact that any force of exaggeration, however obvious, +becomes less noticeable to us in proportion as it becomes more familiar. + +It exists, in the last analysis, only by its comparative relation to +other things. + +It is certain that a child ten years old would seem very large if he +were five feet high, whereas a man of that stature is considered a +dwarf. + +Among Oriental races a woman is generally classed as a blonde whose hair +is not absolutely black. + +Things only take their real appearance from a comparison with others of +the same kind. + +For all his science, an ethnologist, placed in front of a man of an +unknown tribe, would be unable to say whether this man's stature were +normal or below the average in relation to others of his race, since no +information would be forthcoming as to this people's height or +characteristics. It is, therefore, no matter for surprize that the timid +man, shut in upon himself and having no other horizon than the limited +field of his own observations, is disposed to picture them in colors +whose truth he can not verify, since the terms of comparison, vital to +the accomplishment of his end, are not available to him. + +It is, therefore, impossible for such a man not to become accustomed to +the idea as it presents itself to him, to such an extent that he is +quite unconscious of its successive changes in character. + +Do we notice the growth of a child who is constantly with us until he +reaches man's estate? + +Can we measure the development of a blossom into the perfect flower? + +Assuredly not, if we have lived daily in the company of the child and +have glanced several times an hour at the blossom. + +Both the one and the other will reach maturity without being sensibly +conscious of the fact that they are changing. + +But if we go away from the child for a few months, if, in the interval, +we see other children, we can form an estimate of his growth and can +compare him mentally with the other children we have met. + +The same is true of the flower. If other duties call us away for the +moment from contemplating it, we will notice the progress of its +unfolding and we will also be able to tell whether, in relation to that +of other plants, it is quick, slow, or merely normal. + +The man who is timid, be he never so observant, will derive no benefit +from these observations, for he is quite unable to generalize and refers +them all to a point of view which cramps them hopelessly and gives them +a color that is, entirely false. + +So, from the habit of thinking without any opposition, little by little +he allows his ideas to become changed and distorted without any one's +being able to advise him of the misconceptions which he keeps closely to +himself. + +It is for this reason that all timid people have a marked tendency to +distort facts and to acquire false ideas. + +It is often with perfect good faith that they affirm a thing which they +believe sincerely, not having had the opportunity to control the +successive changes which have transformed it absolutely from what it was +at the outset. + +It is a lucky day for timid people of this class when fate prevents them +from entering into competition with those who are possest of poise. + +Were these latter a hundred times weaker than they are they would still +end by triumphing over their feeble antagonists. + +It is above all in the affairs of ordinary every-day life that poise +renders the most valuable service. + +If it becomes a question of presenting or discussing a matter of +business, the timid man, embarrassed by his own personality, begins to +stammer, becomes confused, and can not recall a single argument. He +finally abandons all the gain that he dreamed of making in order to put +an end to the torments from which he suffers. + +He is to be considered lucky if under the domination of the troubles in +which he finds himself, he does not lose all faculty of speech. + +This failing, so common among the timid, is a further cause of confusion +to the victim. + +At the bare idea that he may become the prey of such a calamity he +unconsciously closes his lips and lowers the tones of his voice. + +The man of poise, on the other hand, feels himself the more impelled to +redouble his efforts in proportion to the need his cause has for being +well defended. + +He knows how to arrange his arguments, and to foresee those of his +adversary, and, if he finds himself face to face with a statement which +he can not refute, he will seek some means of softening the defeat or of +changing the ground of the debate in such a way as to avoid confusion to +himself. + +In any event, such an occurrence will have no profound effect upon him. +Vanquished on one point, he will find the presence of mind to at once +change the character of the discussion to questions which are at once +familiar and favorable to him. + +He who goes forth into life armed with poise has also the marked +advantage over the timid that comes from superior health. + +This phrase should not be the occasion for a smile. Timidity is a +chronic cause of poor health in those who suffer from it. + +Pushed to extremes, it is the source of a thousand nervous defects. + +We have already touched upon stammering. + +Unreasonable blushing is another misfortune of the timid. In drawing the +attention of one's opponents it betrays at once one's ideas and one's +fears. + +Fear of this uncomfortable blushing inhibits many people from making the +most of themselves or from properly protecting their own interests. + +The shame they feel on account of this inferiority leads them, as we +have seen, to seek isolation in which hypochondria slowly grows upon +them, sure forerunner of that terrible neurasthenia of which the effects +are so diverse and so disconcerting. + +The man who was at the outset no more than timid, easily becomes +transformed first into a misanthrope, then into a monomaniac tortured by +a thousand physical inhibitions, such as the inability to hold a pen, to +walk unaccompanied across an open space, to ride in a public conveyance, +etc., etc. + +It must not be forgotten that these crises of embarrassments always +produce extreme emotion accompanied by palpitations whose frequent +recurrence may lead to actual heart trouble. + +All these disadvantages increase the sullenness of the timid, who are +overcome by the sense of their own physical weakness, which they know +has its origin in a condition of mind that they lack the power either to +change or to abolish. + +All these causes of physical inferiority are unknown to the man who +appreciates the value of poise and puts it into practise. + +Such a man has no fear of embarrassment in speaking. He is a stranger to +the misery of aimless blushing. If he does not always emerge victorious +from the oratorical combats in which he engages he at least has the +satisfaction of acknowledging to himself that he has not been beaten +easily or without a struggle. In short, misanthropy, neurasthenia, and +all their attendant ills, are for him unknown ailments. + +One can not be too watchful against the attacks of timidity, which, like +a contaminated spring, poisons the entire existence of those who are +unable to dam up its flow. + +Among the martyrdoms which are caused by it must be counted indecision, +which is one of its most frequent and most unhappy results. + +The timid man can not stop at any point. + +He vacillates unceasingly and takes turn by turn the most opposing +viewpoints. + +It is only fair to add that he rejects them all almost as soon as he has +formed them. + +His state of mind being always one of distrust of his own powers, it is +impossible for him not to be afraid that he has made a mistake, if he is +left to do his own thinking. + +We have seen how his craving for sympathy, never satisfied, since he +does not make it known, drives him ever into impotent rage, which throws +him back upon himself in scarcely concealed irritation, that alienates +him from all sympathy and precludes all confidences. + +It is rarely, therefore, that the timid person does not find himself +isolated when facing the decisions of greater or less gravity that daily +life makes necessary. + +In terror of making a mistake that may lead to some change of course or +give rise to the necessity of taking some definite action, he hesitates +everlastingly. + +If, driven into a corner by circumstances, he ends by making some +decision, we may be sure that he will at once regret it and that, if the +time still remains to him, he will modify it in some way, only to revert +to it again a moment later. + +His will is like a ball continually thrown to and fro by children. No +sooner is it tossed in one direction than it is suddenly sent flying in +another, to return finally to its starting-place at the moment when the +players' weariness causes it to fall to the ground. + +This particular state of mind is primarily due to two causes: + +The desire for perfection that haunts all timid people. + +The fear of making a mistake that arises from the habit of continually +mistrusting one's own judgment. + +There are many other causes, the analysis of which is far beyond the +scope of this work, but every one of these can be referred to the two +main issues we have defined. The desire for perfection is at once the +result and the cause of most timidity. + +While the man of resolve, relying upon his experience, is able to +perform his part in those normal exigencies that he is able to conceive +of, the timid man, shut off by his defects from all practical knowledge +of life, comes to grief by discovering something amiss with every course +that he considers. + +A familiar proverb tells us that everything has its good and its bad +side. + +The timid see only the latter when making the decisions that fate +imposes upon them. + +They fall into despair at their inability to see the other side of +things and their feeble will drives against solid obstacles like a car +colliding with a block of granite. + +The man of resolution, instead of yielding to despair, seeks to surmount +such a difficulty by turning his car in another direction; but, if the +new road shows him nothing but dangerous pitfalls, he will choose to go +around the block and continue his journey, remembering it as a landmark +for his return. + +For this reason we shall find him well on his way toward his journey's +end while the victim of timidity continues to exhaust himself by vain +efforts, thankful enough if he is not permanently mired in some of the +bogs into which he has imprudently ventured. This is a state of affairs +of much more frequent occurrence than one might suppose. Timidity, as we +have seen, often unites the boldest conceptions with complete +inexperience, which does not permit of accurate judgment as to +impossibilities. + +This lack of knowledge of life is also the cause of a continual fear of +making mistakes. + +The man of resolution never suffers from this complaint. + +Having taught himself the value of a ripened judgment, he is quick to +recognize the advantage to be derived from any project. He weighs +alternatives carefully and only makes his decisions on well-thought-out +grounds, after sufficient reasoned reflection to make sure that he will +have no cause for future regret. + +We have already remarked that such forms of irresolution constituted a +martyrdom. The word is by no means too strong. They are never-ending +occasions for physical and moral torture. + +They are to be met with in the most trivial details of every-day life. + +The mere crossing of a street becomes, for the nervous man, an +ever-recurring source of torment. + +He is afraid to go forward at the proper moment, takes one step ahead +and another back, looks despairingly at the line of vehicles that bars +his way, and, when a momentary opening in this confronts him, takes so +long to make up his mind that the opportunity of crossing is past before +he has seized it. + +Or again he may suddenly rush forward, without any regard for the danger +to which he is exposed, hesitating suddenly when in the way of the +vehicles that threaten him, and quite incapable of slipping past them, +or of any quick or dexterous movement by which he may avoid them. + +This little picture, despite its commonplace nature, is nevertheless a +symbol. + +In the crossings of life, as well as those of the streets, the man who +is timid is at an immense disadvantage when compared with the man of +poise. + +The latter does not worry his head about the traffic that blocks his +progress. + +Aided by his will-power and by confidence in his judgment, he stands +firmly awaiting the moment that affords him an opening. Then, with +muscles tense and wits collected, he starts, and whether he darts ahead +here, or glides adroitly there, he threads his way through the traffic +and reaches his goal without having suffered from accident. + +The troubles upon which we have been dwelling are never his. His soul, +dominated by a well-ordered will, by reason, and all the other good +qualities we enumerated in the first chapter, is proof against all +attacks of weakness. + +In the event of his not possessing all these virtues, he has the wit to +keep the thought of them always before him and to work hard to acquire +them, so that he may become what, in modern parlance, we call "a force," +that is to say one whose soul is virile enough to influence not only his +mind, but even to liberate his body from the defects created in it by +distrust of self. + +But, it will be claimed, there are people who are born timid and who are +quite unable to achieve the mastery of themselves. + +Every human being can win the victory over himself. This we will prove +conclusively in the pages that are to follow, dedicated to those who are +desirous of arming themselves, in the great game of life, with that +master card which is named POISE. + + + + + + +PART II + +HOW TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +CHAPTER I + +MODESTY AND EFFRONTERY CONTRASTED + + +"Never force your talents" a well-known writer has said. One always +feels like crying this to those who, thinking to reach the goal of +poise, fall into excess and develop effrontery and exaggeratedness. + +Poise can not exist without coolness. We have seen that this quality is +rarely met with in enthusiasts. + +It is never found in those who have effrontery. + +Poise does not consist in the species of ostentatious carelessness which +essays to travel through life as a child might wander among hives of +bees without taking any precautions against being stung. + +Neither is it that false courage that drives one headlong into a +conflict without any thought as to the blows likely to fall upon the +foolhardy person who has ventured into it. + +The principle upon which we must start is this: life is a battle in +which strategy always has the advantage over blind courage. + +Unfortunate is he who, by his boasting or his lack of generalship, +decides upon an attack for which he is not really prepared. However +brave he may be he will infallibly find himself vanquished in a struggle +in which everything has combined in advance to defeat him. + +Boasting is not courage. Still less is it poise. + +Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self. It inhibits all +outward manifestations that are likely to result in giving information +to strangers with regard to our real feelings. + +Braggarts can not avoid this stumbling-block. They know nothing of the +delights of contemplation, from which arise ripe resolutions that will +be steadfastly followed. + +With the noise of their boastings, with the shouting of their own +braggart ineptitudes, they hypnotize themselves so thoroughly that they +are quite unable to hear the counsel that sane wisdom whispers in their +ears. + +They are like the man in the eastern fable who was quite unable to +follow a beaten path and was constantly wandering across the fields of +his neighbors. + +These detours were in general much longer than the direct road would +have been, and he received a constant stream of abuse, to say nothing of +blows, from the people whose crops he was ruining. + +But he seemed quite insensible to assaults and insisted upon following, +across lots, a road which led nowhere. + +It would be difficult to paint a more faithful portrait. Like the +peasant in the story, the man of effrontery is always wandering far from +the common road, the tranquil peace of which he despises. + +He delights in crossing land that he knows to be forbidden to him, seeks +to force open gates that are closed at his approach, and, if he can not +overcome the opposition of the porter, watches for the moment when an +open window will permit him entrance into a house where he will be +coldly, if not angrily, received. + +What is the result of this? + +Nothing favorable to his plans, one may be sure. People point him out. +They fly from him, and were he the bearer of the most advantageous +proposition, refuse to put any faith in his assertions as soon as they +get to know him in the least. + +Effrontery may sometimes impose upon the innocent. But it is only a +momentary deception, quickly dissipated the moment that time is given to +estimate the emptiness of its claims. + +There is another variety of effrontery that is comparable to the form of +courage exhibited by the timorous who sing in a loud voice in order to +lessen their terror and imagine that by so doing they give the illusion +of bravery. + +People of this sort talk very loudly, often contradicting themselves, +and pass judgment upon everything, dismissing the most difficult +questions with only a passing thought, but remain silent and are put +completely out of countenance as soon as one insists upon their +listening to reason, or when--in familiar language--they "meet their +match." + +The man of effrontery is a passionate devotee of bluff, and not only of +that variety of which Jonathan Dick has said: + +"It is a security discounted in advance." + +A little further on he adds: + +"Bluffers of the right sort are only so when the occasion demands it, in +order to give the impression that the wished-for result has already been +achieved. + +"As soon as their credit is assured and appearances have become +realities that allow them to establish themselves in positions of +security they at once cease the effort to deceive." + +Our author concludes: + +"Bluff, to be successful, must never be founded upon puerility or brag." + +Now these two qualities are always to be met with in the doings of the +man of effrontery, who only achieves by accident the goal he aims at, +and then only in the most insecure way. + +Drawbacks differing as to their causes, but equally unlucky as to their +results, are born of the opposite fault--modesty. + +It is high time to destroy the leniency shown toward this defect that +old-fashioned educators once decorated with the title of virtue. + +Time has forged ahead, taking with it in its rapid course all forms of +progress, which, in its turn, has made giant strides. + +Ideas have changed materially. Modern life has to face emergencies +formerly undreamed of, and those who still believe in the virtue of +modesty are their own enemies, as well as those of the people whom they +advise to cultivate it. + +The case of this man is similar to that of many others, whose meaning +has been undergoing a gradual change due to the erroneous interpretation +that has deliberately been placed upon it. + +Modesty is very frequently nothing more than an evidence of +incompetence. + +It has rise in sentiments that the man who would be up to date must +avoid at all hazards--distrust of self and hatred of exertion. + +One rarely finds it in the man who is active and who knows his own +worth. To revenge itself, it flourishes among the lazy, who try to save +their pride and to conceal their secret irritation at the successes of +others by assuming an humble attitude and exclaiming: + +"Oh! I didn't care to do it!" + +Or still more frequently: + +"No, I haven't entered the lists. I am absolutely without ambition!" + +Under similar circumstances people who are unknown cry out, and with +reason: + +"Oh! I have a horror of publicity!" + +This is simply a roundabout way of informing us that were it not for +their retiring modesty, the hundred mouths of rumor would be shouting +their praise. + +Modesty is very rarely what it appears to be. As soon as it exhibits the +form of a wise reserve it must be called by another name: prudence and +self-justification. + +The attitude of trying to keep one's actions from becoming known is not +a laudable one, and can only be adopted as the result of a philosophy of +inaction. + +What treasures of knowledge would have remained unknown to us if all the +scientists and all the men of genius had made a practise of modesty! + +If our forefathers had been modest, when it was the fashion to be proud +of this quality, our museums would be empty and only a few of the +initiated would know that men of exceptional merit, which they had +sedulously concealed, had written manuscripts which had never been +published. The humility of the writers in such cases could be made to +pay too severe a penalty. + +No! Men who have merits are not modest! This false virtue is the +appanage of none but weak and irresolute hearts. + +We should congratulate ourselves, while admitting these facts, that our +forefathers were not so constituted, and that their faith in themselves, +by giving them confidence in their own work, made it possible for them +to hand these on to their descendants. + +Of what use to us would it be to know that a poem of finer quality and +more splendid fire than any we have ever read had once been written, if +the modesty of its author had led him to keep it always in his pocket +and it had finally vanished into the limbo of ignored and forgotten +things? + +It is then actually wrong to sing the praises of modesty, which is no +more than distrust of oneself, egoism, and laziness. + +The man who boasts of his modesty will feel no shame at producing +nothing. He hides his ineptitude behind this convenient veil whose +thickness allows him to hint of the existence of things which are +nothing but figments of his imagination. + +We might add that the man who proclaims his modesty enters the struggle +with a decided handicap against him. The moment he begins to have doubts +about his own powers he will be sure to find himself the prey of an +unfortunate indecision, and that at the very moment when he is called +upon to perform some decisive action. + +"One day," says an old writer, "three men, in the course of a climb up a +mountain, found themselves confronted by a crevasse that they must +cross. + +"One of these was a timid man, another a boaster, and the third was +possest of a reasoned poise. + +"The boaster made a jump without stopping to think and without taking +the trouble to measure the gap. He plunged into it. + +"The modest man then advanced, looked down into the gulf, then decided +to make use of the irregularities in the surface of the chasm to reduce +the width of the jump. + +"He made several attempts to carry this out, but could hardly touch the +edge before an instinctive movement of fear forced him back. + +"He worked so hard and so long at this that he was quite tired out when +he at last chose the moment for the decisive attempt. He jumped, indeed, +but in such a half-hearted way that he merely touched the opposite face +of the crevasse and fell to the bottom of the precipice alongside of the +boaster. + +"The third climber, who possest the advantage of poise, had meanwhile +been losing no time. He had mentally gaged the width of the crevasse, +had made a number of trial jumps to test his ability to clear it, and +when, with a firm resolution to succeed, he reached the edge from which +he must leap, his soul, fortified by the knowledge of his powers was +fired with a single idea, the consciousness of his own agility and +strength. + +"By this means he, alone of the three, was able to cross the gulf in +which his two companions had perished." + +Effrontery and boastfulness have often another source. The shyness of +those who suffer from timidity, by isolating them and denying them the +means of expansion, prevents them from obtaining a real control over +their feelings, which undergo a process of deterioration so slow that +they do not notice it. + +There are very few things to which we can not easily become accustomed, +to the extent of a complete failure to notice their peculiarities, if +their strangeness is only unfolded to us gradually. + +A thousand things which shock us at the first blush take on the guise of +every-day matters when once we have acquired the habit of familiarity +with them. + +The timid man, who will not openly acknowledge his feelings, is +practically unable to take cognizance of their gradual transformation. + +We may add that he is always prone to dream, and peoples his world +involuntarily with imaginary utopias, which he begins by considering as +desirable, then as possible, and finally as actually existing. + +This is the starting-point of boastfulness. It partakes at once of +falsity and of sincerity. The timid man loves to feel himself important, +and he merely pities the people whom he considers incapable of +understanding him. He is, nevertheless, sincere in his bravado, as his +dreams entirely deceive him as to his real self. + +In his solitary meditations he deliberately shakes off his own +personality, as a butterfly abandons the shelter of its chrysalis, and, +following the example of that gorgeous insect, he flies away on the +wings of his dreams in the guise of the being that he imagines himself +to have become. + +This creature resembles him not at all. It is brave, courageous, +eloquent. It accomplishes the most brilliant feats of daring. + +In this way, just so soon as the timid man becomes intermittently a +braggart, he commences to boast of exploits quite impossible of +performance. We must remember, however, that it is not he who speaks, +but merely the idealized ego which he invents because he is chagrined at +being misunderstood. + +Moral isolation is the parent of other curious phenomena. It imparts the +gift of seeing things exactly as we would wish them to be, by clothing +them little by little with a character entirely foreign to that which +they really possess. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," we are told the following little +personal anecdote of the Japanese philosopher Yoritomo: + +"It was my misfortune as a child," says this ancient sage, "to be the +victim of a serious illness which kept me confined to a bed and unable +to move. + +"I was not allowed to read and my only distraction was the study of the +objects in my immediate neighborhood. + +"The pattern of a screen made a particular impression upon me with its +clusters of flowers and its bouquets of roses. + +"I passed hours in the contemplation of it. + +"At first I merely followed the outlines with my eye, finding in them no +more than an artistic reproduction of nature. But, little by little, the +clusters of flowers were transformed into gardens, the rose-trees took +on the imposing aspect of forests. In these gardens my dreams created a +princess, and in the forest a company of warriors. + +"Then the romance began. + +"Every new line I observed became the pretext for creating a new +character. The princess was very soon taken captive by a giant--whom I +saw perfectly--and the warriors undertook the task of rescue. + +"Every day a panorama moved before me of changing personalities, who +reenacted the events of the story. Finally the obsession took such a +strong hold of me that I began to talk about it in a manner that aroused +the fears of my parents. + +"The screen was banished from my room and when, a few days later, it was +brought back for me to see, I was able to discover nothing more in it +than the designs with which it was adorned." + +This example, taken directly from life, shows us better than the most +extended arguments the dangers of moral isolation. + +By this we do not mean the isolation that is essential to concentration, +the practise of which always leads to the most fruitful results. + +We are speaking solely of the aloofness born of timidity or of +exaggerated pride, which, in depriving us of contrary views, develops in +us the propensity to see things from only one angle, which is always +that which happens to flatter our vanity or please our tastes. + +All those persons who suffer from this disease of the will, which +deprives them of the ability of discussing things, may be compared to +runners who have neglected to ascertain the limits of their race. + +Like the latter, they keep running round the same track without any +means of discovering when they are nearing the goal. + +Instead of stopping, when they have reached it, they keep running +forward and the monotony of their efforts, coupled with the fever-heat +engendered by their exertions, very soon causes them to view the objects +that they keep passing and passing under a deformed and distorted +aspect. + +The man of reason, on the other hand, runs with the single purpose in +his mind of reaching the winning-post. He studiously avoids taking his +eyes off the goal, which he has carefully located in advance, and takes +pains to note the moment when he is nearing it, so as to run no risks of +making his spurt too soon. + +It is a matter of frequent observation that timidity often voluntarily +assumes the role of effrontery, from very despair of successfully +accomplishing the task it is ambitious to perform. + +Illustrious examples of this contention are not lacking. Rousseau, who +was a coward of the greatest hardihood, says in his _Confessions_: + +"My foolish and unreasoning fear, that I was quite unable to overcome, +of perpetrating some breach of good manners led me to assume the +attitude of caring nothing for the niceties of life." + +A little further on, he adds: + +"I was made a cynic by shyness. I posed as a despiser of the politeness +I did not know how to practise." + +This is a much more frequent cause than one might think of the +exhibition of an effrontery which is apparently deliberate and +intentional. + +The timid man, feeling himself awkward and clownish when performing the +usual acts of courtesy, assumes the attitude of caring nothing for them +and of avoiding them deliberately, while all the while he is tortured by +the inability to perform them without seeming ridiculous. + +But the onlooker is not deceived. The outward appearance of cynicism +often conceals an inward sensitiveness of soul that is quite obvious, +and the actor makes so poor a hand at identifying himself with the +character he would assume that it is clearly evident he is only playing +a part. + +The conflict of diametrically opposing forces shows itself plainly in +his attitude which vacillates between the stiffest formality and the +easiest assurance. + +The awkwardness that is the bugbear of the timid shows itself even +beneath their work of cynicism, and the very effort accuses them, no +less than their flighty and unreasoning conversation and their gestures, +now exaggerated and now represt, all of which make up a whole that +entirely fails to give an impression of harmony. + +And what possible harmony can there be between a soul and a body that +are completely out of accord with each other? + +Should it be asked what the difference is between presumption or +effrontery and the poise that we have in mind, this simple illustration +should be illuminating. + +Effrontery, bravado, and exaggeration are qualities that are shown by +those who exceed their own capacity without giving the question a +thought. + +Poise is the virtue which gives us the strength of mind to analyze the +possibilities that are dominant within us, to cultivate them, and to +strengthen them in every possible way before undertaking an enterprise +which is likely to call them into play. + +Real poise has no bluster about it. It has a good deal in it of +self-possession, the discretion belonging to which is one of its marked +characteristics. + +Repression of our outward movements enables us to achieve that control +over our emotions which makes a perfect cloak for our intentions, and +leaves our opponents in perplexity as to how to attack the fortress that +they wish to conquer. + +It is, therefore, between modesty and effrontery, both equally +prejudicial to success, that poise must naturally be placed. + +But, it will be objected, all the world does not possess this gift of +poise. Are those who do not share it to be forever denied all chance of +success? + +Not so! It is open to all the world to acquire this gift, and if the +chapters following this are read with care it will be seen that it is +something that can be cultivated, so that it can be gradually perfected +and carried about with one as the germ of every sort of success, the +happy issue of which depends upon a thorough realization of one's own +merits and the honorable ambition to accomplish a task that has been +prudently planned and bravely carried to an end. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II + +PHYSICAL EXERCISES TO ACQUIRE POISE + + +Before preparing oneself by the exercise of reasoning and will-power for +the acquisition of poise, it is vitally necessary to make oneself +physically fit for the effort to be undertaken. + +One should begin with this fundamental principle: + +Timidity being a disease one must treat it just as one would any other +illness. + +Like all other physical maladies it is sure to be the cause of loss of +social prestige to those who suffer from it. + +It must then be combated in the same way as any other infirmity of long +standing that threatens to ruin the life of the sufferer. + +It is a grave mistake to consider it merely a mental ailment that can be +alleviated by nothing but psychological treatment. + +One's nervous condition plays a very large part in the conquest of +poise. + +We must, therefore, watch most carefully over the good health of the +body before taking any measures whatever to abolish a condition of +affairs that has been engendered by physical weakness and that will be +fostered by it unless such weakness can be eradicated or more or less +dissipated and ameliorated by a thousand little daily acts of care. + +It must be understood that we are not now speaking of medical treatment. +We have reference merely to that common-sense hygiene which has become +more or less a part of modern existence, and the daily practise of +which, while firmly establishing the health, has at the same time an +undoubted reflex action upon the mind. It is a well-known fact that +energy is never found in a weakened body, and that people who are +suffering are clearly marked down to become the prey of those wasting +diseases, whose names, all more or less fantastic, may be classed as a +whole under the general heading of "nervous maladies." + +To enumerate them is superfluous and unnecessary. Lack of poise gives +rise to all sorts of weaknesses, which are given the names of nervous +diseases and finally become classed in the category of phobias, of which +the starting-point is always a habit of fear due to excess of timidity. +This morbid disposition is the parent of a continual apprehensiveness +which is shown upon all sorts of occasions. + +The man who has the space phobia is quite unable to cross an open space +unless he is supported or, at the very least, accompanied. + +Claustrophobia is the malady of those who have a horror of close +quarters from which they can not easily make their escape. + +Writers' cramp is nothing in the world but one of these exaggerated +nervous terrors. + +Erythrophobia, that is to say the habit of inopportune and constant +blushing, is another of the commonest forms of excessive timidity. + +Stammering is another of the tortures that people of poise do not +experience, except in those cases where it is caused by a physical +malformation. + +All these maladies attack only the timid. + +There are many others, less serious in their nature, such as indecision, +exaggerated scrupulousness, extreme pliability, hypochondria. All of +these should be ruthlessly supprest the moment we become aware of them, +for they are one and all the forerunners of that mentally diseased +condition which gives rise to the phobias of which we have just been +speaking. + +To those who would seriously devote themselves to the cultivation of +poise it is, therefore, a vital necessity to be in a condition of +perfect health. It would be a misfortune, indeed, for them to find +themselves balked in their progress toward acquiring this quality by +anxieties regarding the condition of their bodies. + +Any indisposition, not to mention actual diseases, has a tendency to +inhibit all initiative. + +There is no room for doubt that a physical ailment by attracting to +itself the attention of the person who is attacked by it, prevents him +from giving the proper amount of energy to whatever he may be engaged +upon. + +He thinks about nothing but his malady and quite forgets to take the +exercises that would enable him to alter his condition, to change his +actions, and even to make over his thoughts. + +His thoughts above all. Physical well-being has an undeniable influence +upon one's mental health. + +One very rarely sees a sick person who is happy. Even those who are +endowed with great force of character lose, under the burden of their +sufferings, part of their firmness of soul and of their legitimate +ambition. + +A very scientific force of hygiene is particularly recommended. +Excessive measures of any sort must be avoided for various reasons: + +(1) They are antagonistic to the maintenance of a perfect physical +equilibrium. + +(2) They will inevitably grow to dominate the mind unduly. + +When we speak of excesses, we intend to include those undertaken in the +way of work no less than those which are the outcome of the search for +pleasure. + +Nevertheless we will hasten to add that these last are much the more to +be feared. + +What can be expected, for instance, from a man who has passed a night in +debauchery? + +Morning finds him a weakling, good for nothing, and incapable of making +the slightest effort that calls for energy. + +He is lucky, indeed, if his excesses have no disastrous results that +will destroy his happiness or his good name. + +The fear of complications that may be the outcome of his gross pleasures +soon begins to haunt him and to usurp in his mind the place of nobler +and more useful impulses. + +As to his health, it is hardly necessary for us to insist upon the +disorder that such habits must necessarily produce. + +The least misfortune that he can look for is a profound lassitude and a +desire for rest which is the enemy of all virile effort. + +The same thing is true of the man who indulges too freely in the +pleasures of the table. The work of digestion leaves him in an exhausted +condition and with a craving for repose that very soon results in a +complete lack of moral tone. + +Even supposing that his daily routine consists of two principal meals, +and of two others of less importance, it will be easily understood that +the man who loads down his stomach with such a large amount of +continuous work will not be very apt to adapt himself readily to matters +of a wholly different kind. + +To avoid pain, to sit inert, like a gorged animal, without attempting to +think, is the sole desire of the gluttons who are wearied by every +repeated excess. + +The same reasoning could be applied to the lazy, who suffer in health +from indulgence in their favorite vice. + +It can not be disputed that lack of exercise is the cause of ailments +that have a marked effect upon the moral character. + +Since physical laziness always goes hand in hand with mental apathy, it +follows that a dread of exerting oneself is always to be found coupled +with a hatred of being forced to think. + +It is, therefore, essential for the man who would acquire poise to +fortify himself in advance against physical weaknesses which, by +undermining his will-power, will soon furnish him with the most +plausible reasons for losing interest in the steady application that is +needed for accomplishing his purpose. + +In achieving the conquest of poise certain physical exercises, practised +every day, and vigorously followed out, will be found of considerable +help. + +Before discussing the practical methods which are at once their +starting-point and their result, we will consider in turn the series of +exercises that must be performed each day in order to keep oneself in +the condition of physical well-being which allows of the accomplishment +of moral reform. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FOUR SERIES OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES + + +FIRST SERIES--BREATHING + +The point of departure for the cultivation of poise, like that of +everything else in fact, must be a well-ordered system of hygiene, far +removed from excess, and insisting only upon the points we have already +indicated. + +Without wishing to fall into the well-known error of so many modern +teachers, who assign an exaggerated importance to breathing exercises, +we must, nevertheless, admit the great role that respiration plays in +physical balance. + +We are now speaking, understand, of methodical breathing, we might +almost term it "reasoned" breathing. + +Every one, of course, breathes without being aware of it from the moment +of his birth to the hour of his death, but very few people are aware how +to increase the power and to enlarge the capacity of their lungs. + +Nevertheless, upon these conditions it is that activity depends, as well +as the health and the energy that enables us to consecrate ourselves to +the pursuit of a definite aim. + +Without having to lay claim to a vast knowledge of medicine one can +discover that all repeated exercise tends to strengthen the organ that +is employed. + +Thus, well-directed and carefully practised breathing gives the heart a +stronger beat and facilitates the action of the lungs. + +From these arises a general feeling of physical well-being, which tends +to the preservation of good health and stores up the energy we need to +carry out our resolves. + +It is, then, advisable to devote several minutes every day to breathing +exercises, not merely automatic, but purposeful and under thorough +control. + +To accomplish this there are two methods. + +The first, very easy of comprehension, is to lie down on one's back and +to breathe deeply with the mouth closed and the nostrils dilated. + +As much air as can be held must be taken into the lungs, then the mouth +must be opened and the air must be allowed to escape gradually. + +During this operation one should pay particular attention to expanding +the walls of the chest, while flattening the stomach. + +About twenty deep respirations are required to accomplish the desired +effect. + +Little by little the lungs will dilate and one will unconsciously +increase the length of the inspiration and the slowness with which the +air is expelled. + +The second method consists in standing erect, with the head thrown +slightly back. The lungs should then be filled with air and one should +count mentally up to five or even ten before exhaling the air that has +been breathed in. + +It is advisable that when exhaling one should utter a continuous hum, +which must be absolutely free from trembling when one has practised it +properly. + +People who have practised this exercise have often stated that this +method of breathing has been of great help to them when much fatigued as +well as a first-class stimulus in moments when all their physical powers +were to be called into play. + +A well-known college professor has assured us that every day, before +giving his lectures, he makes use of this exercise. He claims that he +has thus gained a freedom of breathing the good effects of which are +manifest in the facility with which he is able to give his lecture and +in his general feeling of ease. Rendered quite free from any suspicion +of nervousness, he feels that he is completely master of himself and in +a fit state of moral and physical health to employ the poise that is +essential to the man who has to instruct and to convince others. + +Deep breathing has the further advantage of developing the lungs, of +strengthening them, and at the same time of making their ordinary +functioning more regular. + +The man who practises this exercise will have much less propensity to +get out of breath. This will be a great assistance to those timid people +who are disconcerted by trifles and who, at the least little occurrence, +become so much affected by emotion that they experience a sensible +acceleration of the action of the heart. + +Palpitation can not take place without causing us physical discomfort, +and this condition is a serious stumbling-block in the way of the +acquisition of poise, for, in view of the great stress the man of +timidity lays upon the opinion of others, he will be apprehensive of +giving them any inkling of his distress, and yet his difficulty in +breathing will be bound to reveal it. + +The exercise of which we have been speaking should be performed with +care twice a day. + +For those whose leisure hours are few it can be accomplished without +losing any of the time which is already preempted by other things. + +It is merely a question of remembering it as soon as one wakes in the +morning and of never forgetting it before one falls asleep at night. + +The few minutes between the moment that one wakes and the time one gets +out of bed can be most profitably employed in this way. + +The same thing is true at night. + +If the occupations of the day and of the evening leave us no time to +devote to this exercise, we can always go through it in the moments +between retiring to bed and falling asleep. + +It will thus be seen that there is really no valid excuse for not +undertaking this practise, whose effects will certainly be most +beneficial. + + +SECOND SERIES--TRAINING OF THE EYE + +But our physical efforts must not stop here. + +It is more than necessary that we should make others feel the effects of +the mastery that we are slowly acquiring over ourselves. + +The eye is an invaluable assistant to the man who is studying to acquire +poise. + +It is not necessary here, in connection with the magnetic properties of +the eye, to enter into a digression too extensive for the scope of this +book, but we can not neglect this one more-than-important factor +altogether. + +We are speaking now not only of the power in the gaze of others but of +that of our own eyes in relation to our associates. + +We must do our best, in fine, to develop the power of our gaze, while +studying to fortify ourselves against the influence brought to bear upon +us in this direction by others. + +One frequently notices, especially in the case of people who are timid, +a propensity to lose their powers of resistance with those who are able +to fix them with a steady stare. + +One has often seen people who lack will-power emerging completely upset +from the grueling of an interview in which they have admitted everything +that they had most fervently resolved never to disclose. + +A superior force has dominated them to such an extent that they have +found it impossible to conduct the discussion in the way they had +planned to do it. + +The man who is in earnest about acquiring poise must, then, be on his +guard against betraying himself under the magnetism of some one else's +gaze. + +At the same time he must cultivate his own powers of the eye, so that +he, too, can possess that ability against which, in others, he must be +careful to protect himself, and can utilize it for his own ends. + +The first principle is to avoid looking directly into the pupils of +one's interlocutor. + +This is the only way in which a beginner can avoid being affected by the +magnetism of the gaze. + +By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon +the supernatural. + +We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced +by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady +stare. + +Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are +quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, +and finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape +from the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to +dictate the words that they must utter. + +One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself to become swayed by the +gaze of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes +constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the +face of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the +magnetic effect of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his +nose directly between his eyes. + +When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, +for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one +will quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating. + +But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too +fixedly. + +It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic +point." + +In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and +particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking +steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked +effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will. + +Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the +possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the +ordinary applications of poise. + +One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first and later +on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that the eye +can remain fixt upon it without discomfort. + +For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant +object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness. + +We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a +matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer +than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise. + +One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One +should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be +kept steady and the pupils motionless. + +If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest +winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again. + +It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to +keep it up for more than a few seconds. + +After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the +time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least +four or five minutes of perfect fixity. + +In order to keep count of the time that is passing, as well as to keep +control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a +way that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every +two numbers. + +When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other +exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the +head slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from +this point for a moment. + +It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have +been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test. + +To do this, one must take up a position in front of a glass and fix +one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it +to the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep +it there immovably. + +At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose. +The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some +slight difficulty in breaking away from it. + +For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a +predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once +transferred to the bridge of the nose. + +These exercises of the eye will be found particularly beneficial for +people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as aside from the advantages +we have specified, they have the effect of strengthening the will-power, +which will be found to have materially gained by this means. + +When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels +oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at +the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it +will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely +associated. + +One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, +to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of +that of other people. + + +THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE + +Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle +against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of +timidity. + +Let us make ourselves clear. + +Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious +embarrassment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements. + +Others fall into this embarrassment as the result of exhibitions of +clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of +renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which +they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in +their gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness. + +It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant +conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of +weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement. + +We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public. + +The most embarrassed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in +a fashion quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends. + +It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a +habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the +person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, +the awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame +at his own expense. + +In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it +can be arrived at, without a shadow of doubt, if our advice is +faithfully followed out. + +It is an obvious truth that the repetition of any act diminishes the +emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance. + +Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of +movement and to extend its scope. + +Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in +bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to +our advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to +devote five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the +acquirement of an easy carriage from the frequent repetition of certain +movements. + +For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as +possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by +jerky movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be +every day made a little more extended. + +While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect +arch. + +Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's +steps of even length and one's body erect. + +One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed on the +pretext of lack of time. + +Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other +movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every +day with regularity and conscientiousness. + +The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out +while we are dressing. + +Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, +and repeat it in front of the glass while observing yourself carefully, +to be sure that your face shows no sign of embarrassment and that you do +not stammer or hesitate in any way. + +If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop +and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able +to enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of +hesitation. + +You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which +disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the assurance +that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying +attention to their own lack of composure. + +Finally, from the moment of rising, as well as when brushing his hair, +tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to +acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his +movements more supple and to invest them with grace. + +Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without +exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without +looking directly ahead of him. + +If this attitude is a difficult one for him when commencing, he can, at +the start, assign a certain time for observing this position, and +gradually increase its length, until he feels no further inconvenience. + +The feeling of obvious awkwardness is a large factor in the lack of +poise. + +It is then a matter of great importance to modify one's outward +carriage, while at the same time applying oneself to the conquest of +one's soul, so as to achieve the object not only of actually becoming a +man who must be reckoned with, but of impressing every one with what one +is, and what one is worth. + + +FOURTH SERIES--SPEAKING EXERCISES + +Is it really necessary to point out what a weight readiness of speech +has in bringing about the success of any undertaking? + +The man who can make a clever and forceful speech will always convince +his hearers, whatever may be the cause he pleads. + +Do we not see criminals acquitted every day solely because of the +eloquence of their lawyers? + +Have we not often been witnesses to the defeat of entirely honest people +who, from lack of ability to put up a good argument, allow themselves to +be convicted of negligence or of carelessness, if of nothing worse? + +Eloquence, or at least a certain facility of speech, is one of the gifts +of the man of poise. + +One reason for this is that his mind is always fixt upon the object he +wishes to attain by his arguments, which eliminates all wandering of the +thoughts. + +But there is another reason, a purely physical one. The emotions +experienced by the timid are quite unknown to him and he is not the +victim of any of the physical inhibitions which, in affecting the +clearness of their powers of speech, tend to reduce them to confusion. + +Stammering, stuttering, and all the other ordinary disabilities of the +speaker, can almost without exception be attributed to timidity and to +the nervousness of which it is the cause. + +We shall see in the next chapter how these defects can be cured. + +In this, which is devoted specially to physical exercises, we will give +the mechanical means for overcoming these grave defects. + +Just as soon as the difficulties of utterance have been overcome, and +one is no longer in terror of falling into a laughable blunder, and thus +has no further reason to fear, when undertaking to speak, that one will +be made fun of because the object of disconcerting mockery, one's ideas +will cease to be dammed up by this haunting dread and can take shape in +one's brain just as fast as one expresses them. + +Clearness of conception will be reflected in that of what we say, and +poise will soon manifest itself in the manner of the man who no longer +feels himself to be the object of ill-natured laughter. + +One should set oneself then every morning to the performance of +exercises consisting of opening the mouth as wide as one possibly can +and then shutting it, to open it once more to its fullest extent, and so +on until one becomes fatigued. + +This exercise is designed to cover the well-known difficulty of those +who speak infrequently and which is familiarly known as "heavy jaw." + +One should next endeavor to pronounce every consonant with the utmost +distinctness. + +If certain consonants, as _s_, for example, or _ch_, are not enunciated +clearly, one should keep at it until one pronounces them satisfactorily. + +Now one should construct short sentences containing as many difficult +consonants as possible. + +Next we should apply ourselves to declaiming longer sentences. + +It will be of help to have these sentences constitute an affirmation of +will-power and of poise. + +For example: "I can express myself with the greatest possible facility, +because timidity and embarrassment are complete strangers to me." + +Or again: "I am a master of the art of clothing my thoughts in elegant +and illuminating phrases, because stammering, stuttering, and all the +other misfortunes that oppress the timid, are to me unknown quantities." + +We can not insist too strongly upon the cumulative effect of words which +are constantly repeated. It is a good thing to impress oneself with +forceful ideas that make for courage and for achievement. + +Distrust of self being the principal defect of the timid, the man who +would acquire poise must bend every effort to banishing it from his +thoughts. + +The repetition of these sentences, by building up conviction, will +undoubtedly end by creating a confidence in oneself that will at first +be hesitating, but will gradually acquire force. This is a great step in +advance on the road toward poise. + +We are discussing, it should be understood, only such cases of +difficulty in speaking as are directly traceable to an inherent +timidity. + +If the inability to speak clearly comes from a physical malformation it +should at once be brought to the attention of a specialist. + +It is well recognized that, in the majority of cases, those defects are +the consequences of timidity, when they are not its direct cause. + +In combating them, then, with every means at his disposal, the man who +desires to acquire poise will prove the logicality of his mind. It is a +well-known axiom that effects are produced by causes, and _vice versa_. + +Thus, in the case we are considering, timidity either causes the +difficulty in speaking or is caused by it. In the first condition as +well as in the second, the disappearance of the one trouble depends upon +the eradication of the other. + + + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR OBTAINING POISE + + +COMPOSURE + +One of the essential conditions of acquiring poise is to familiarize +oneself with the habit of composure. + +Timid people know nothing of its advantages. They are always ill at +ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censures, and +completely upset by the idea of the least initiative. + +Their mania leads them to exaggerate the smallest incident. A trifle +puts them in a panic, and at the mere notion that strangers have +perceived this they become quite out of countenance and are possest by +but one idea, to avoid by flight the repetition of such unpleasant +emotions. + +A quite useless attempt, for in whatever retirement people who lack +poise may live, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the +small embarrassments of every-day life, which, in their eyes, will soon +take on the guise of disasters. + +Composure should, then, be the first achievement in the way of +self-conquest to be aimed at by the man who is desirous of attaining +poise. + +But, it will be objected, composure is a condition that is not familiar +to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of disposition. Every +one who wishes for it can not attain to it. + +This is an error. In order to possess composure, that is to say the +first step in the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the +proportions of things, it must be achieved, or developed, if we happen +to be naturally inclined thereto. + +To accomplish this, deep-breathing exercises are often recommended by +the philosophers of the new school. + +They advise those who are desirous of cultivating it to make no +resolution, to commit themselves to no impulsive action, without first +withdrawing into themselves and taking five or six deep breaths in the +manner we have described in the preceding chapter. + +This has the physical effect of reducing the speed with which the heart +beats and, as a result, of relaxing the mind and quieting one's nerves. + +During the two or three minutes thus employed one's enthusiasm wanes and +one's ideas take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning +impulses no longer fill the brain to the extent of inhibiting the +entrance of sober second thought. + +But this is only an adventitious means of prevention. We will now speak +of those which should become a matter of daily practise and whose +frequent repetition will lead to the poise we seek. + +Every one whose profession makes it necessary to cultivate his memory +recognizes the importance of studying at night. Phrases learned just +before going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They +remain latent in the brain and spring up anew in the morning without +calling for much trouble to revive them. + +For this reason it is well to retire to rest in a mental attitude of +deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky movement and +constraining oneself to lie perfectly quiet. + +At the same time one should keep on repeating these words: + +"I am composed. I propose to be composed. I am composed!" + +The constant reiteration of these words constitute a species of +suggestion, and peace will steal gradually into our souls and will +permit us to think quietly, without the risk of becoming entangled in +disordered fancies, or, what is far worse, falling a prey to vain and +unavailing regrets. + +Those who doubt the efficacy of this proceeding can be readily convinced +by proving to them the tremendous power of mere words. + +Certain of these electrify us. Such words as patriotism, revolt, blood, +always produce in us an emotion of enthusiasm or disgust. + +Others again are productive of color, and one must admit that the +constant repetition of an assurance ultimately leads to the creation of +the condition that it pictures to us. + +But to make the assertion to oneself, "I am composed," is not all that +is necessary. One must prove to oneself that one is not glossing over +the truth. + +The readiest means of accomplishing this, which is open to every one who +has any regular interests, is to mentally review the words and the +actions of the day, and to pass judgment upon them from the point of +view of the quality one is striving to attain. + + +DAILY SELF-EXAMINATION + +One should convince oneself as soon as possible of the truth of the fact +that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that +firmness of judgment that must be cultivated by the man who is in search +of poise. + +In order to reach this condition nothing is more easy than to pass in +mental review, every evening, the events that have marked the day that +has passed. + +In a word, one should strive to relive it, honestly confessing to +oneself all the mistakes that have crept into it. + +Every unfortunate speech should be recalled. One should formulate fresh +replies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so +that under similar circumstances we may not be again caught at a +disadvantage. + +The witty name of "doorstep repartee" has been given to these answers +which one makes as afterthoughts, with the idea of expressing the +embarrassment of the man who can find no arguments until he finds +himself beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, +when one is on the doorstep, that one suddenly recognizes what one ought +to have said, and finds the phrases that one should have used, the exact +retort that one might have hurled at one's antagonist. + +The man who has acquired poise should still accustom himself to practise +this force of mental gymnastics when making his daily self-examination. + +It will strengthen him for future contests by teaching him just how to +conduct himself. + +He must be always on his guard against one of the obsessions that too +often afflict the timid--the mania for extremes. + +The nature of a timid person is essentially artificial. His character is +unequal. + +He yearns for perfection, yet it is painful for him to meet it in +others. He suffers also because he has failed to acquire it himself. + +Sometimes he is his own most severe judge and then on other occasions he +is grossly indulgent to his faults. + +His isolation causes him to construct ideals that can not possibly be +realized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who +fall short of them, while making no effort to duplicate their struggles. + +He makes the sad mistake, as we have seen in the chapter on effrontery, +of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry at his inability +to make other people see them in the same light. + +He is, moreover, of a very trustful disposition and prone to the making +of confidences. But when he attempts them his infirmity prevents him and +he suffers under the inhibition. + +All his mental processes, as we have seen, tend toward hypochondria, +unless his sense of truth can be called into play. + +One can easily see then that this daily self-examination can be made +quite a difficult affair by all these conflicting tendencies. + +It is for this very reason that it is so necessary that this examination +should be rigorously undertaken every day and with all the good faith of +which we are possest. + +It is because they do not ignore their own weaknesses that the men +endowed with poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," +that is to say people who are masters of a power that renders them +superior to the rest of the world. + + +RESOLUTION + +After as minute and as honest an examination as we can make of our own +actions, it will be of great benefit to make definite resolutions for +the morrow. + +This is a matter of great importance. + +The timid man, by seriously resolving to perform the actions that he +ought and by planning the accomplishment of some definite step, will +unconsciously strengthen his own will-power. + +He will increase it still more by making up his mind to leave no stone +unturned to conquer himself. + +For instance, he proposes to make a certain journey, or to pay a certain +call, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to +himself: "To-morrow I will go there! I will carry the thing through with +assurance!" + +Conceding the magnetic power of words, the acquisition of courage and of +confidence are necessary corollaries. + +Ideas imprest upon the mind at the moment that one is falling asleep +develop during the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow +present themselves to us quite naturally in the guise of a duty much +less hard to perform than we had imagined. + +In the case where such a resolution awakens an unpleasant emotion in the +hearts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that +tend to composure and should seek the aid of the means we have indicated +for attaining it. + + +PREPARATION + +In order to strengthen one's resolution it is a good thing every morning +to map out one's day, for the purpose of acquiring poise. + +All one's combinations should be worked out with this valuable conquest +in mind. + +After having committed oneself to a definite plan, one should analyze +each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into account all the +peculiarities that are likely to characterize them. + +If one is to have an interview, one should carefully prepare one's +introductory remarks, paying particular attention to one's line of +action, to one's method of presentation, and the words upon which one +relies to obtain an affirmative reply to one's request. + +One should take the precaution to have one's speeches mentally prepared +in advance, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and +convincing fashion that one does not find oneself in a state of +embarrassment fatal to recollecting them. + +It is better to make them as short as possible. One is then much less +likely to become confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering +or stuttering, which are always accompaniments of the fear of being left +without an idea of what to say next. + +Besides this, long speeches are always irritating, and it is a sign of +great lack of address to allow oneself to acquire the reputation of +being a bore. + +To make sure of one's facial expression and gestures it may be well to +repeat one's speeches in front of a mirror. + +One can then enact one's entry into the room in such a way as to foresee +even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of making a +failure at the start will no longer have a bad effect upon one. + +We have heard of a man who was so lacking in poise that he lost his +situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused +that he forgot to leave his streaming umbrella in the outer office. + +It was an extremely wet day, and the unfortunate man, instead of being +able to plead his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at +perceiving his mistake, the results of which, it is needless to state, +were by no means to the benefit of the floor. + +His despair at the sight of the rivulets that, running from his +umbrella, spread themselves over the polished surface of the wood, +prevented him from thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. +His native awkwardness became all the worse at this and, utterly unable +to proffer any but the most confused excuses, he fled from the office of +his chief leaving the latter in a high state of irritation. + +He was replaced by some one else at the first opportunity, on the +pretext that the direction of important affairs could no longer be left +in the hands of a man of such notorious incapacity. + +It should be added that this man was more than ordinarily intelligent +and that his successor was by no means his equal. + +It is, therefore, absolutely necessary for those who are lacking in +presence of mind to accustom themselves to a species of rehearsal before +undertaking any really important step. + +Does this imply that they must think of nothing but weighty affairs and +neglect occasions for social meetings? + +By no means. To those who are distrustful of themselves every occasion +is a pretext for avoiding action. + +They should, therefore, take pains to seek every possible opportunity of +cultivating poise. + +The entering of a theater; the walking into a drawing-room; the +acknowledging of a woman's bow; every one of these things should be for +them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily +self-examination leaves them satisfied with themselves, it will be a +cause of much encouragement to them. + +If, on the other hand, they have received a rebuff due to their lack of +poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for this, in order +to guard against such an occurrence in the future. + +A good preparatory exercise is to choose those of our friends whose +homes are unpretentious and who have few callers. + +Let us make up our minds to pay them a visit, which, in view of the +quietude of its associations, is not likely to awaken in us any grave +emotions. + +To carry this off well we should make all our preparations in advance. + +One should say to oneself: "I will enter like this," while rehearsing +one's entrance, so as not to be caught napping at the outset. + +One should go on to plan one's opening remarks, an easy enough matter +since one will be speaking to people one knows very well. + +One should then decide as to the length of one's call. + +One makes up one's mind, for instance, to get up and say good-by at the +end of a quarter of an hour. + +One should foresee the rejoinder of one's host, whether sincere or +merely polite, which will urge one to prolong one's visit, and for this +purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as work to do or a +business engagement, and one should prepare beforehand the phrase +explaining this. + +Finally, one should study to make one's good-bys gracefully. + +It might be as well, while we are at it, to prepare a subject of +conversation. + +Generally speaking, the events of the day form the topic of discussion +on such visits, whose good-will does not always prevent a certain amount +of boredom. + +It will be, then, an easy matter to prepare a few remarks on the +happenings of the day, on the plays that are running, or on the salient +occurrences of the week. + +It should be added that these remarks should express opinions of such a +nature as not to wound anybody's feelings. + +The man who seeks the conquest of poise will not expose himself to the +risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be compelled +either to remain silent or to make an exhibition of himself. + +To do this would be to strike a serious blow at his resolution to +persevere. + +The one idea of the aspirant to poise should be above all things never +to risk a failure. + +Such a check will rarely be a partial one. It will have a marked effect +upon his proposed plan of educating his will-power by again giving rise +to that confusion which is always lurking in the background of the +thoughts of the timid and which is, moreover, the source of all their +ills. + +Another wise precaution consists in foreseeing objections and in +preparing such answers as will enable one to refute them. + +Eloquence is one of the most useful achievements of poise; it is also +the gift that best aids one to acquire it. + +It is, therefore, indispensable to train oneself to speak in a refined +and correct manner. + +The man who is sure of his oratorical powers will never be at a loss. He +will find conviction growing while he seeks to create it. + +We spoke in the preceding chapter of the mechanical exercises necessary +to make speaking an easy matter. + +We must not forget, however, that before one can speak one has to think. + +Words will spring of themselves to our lips the moment we have a +definite conception of the idea they serve to present. As a proof of +this contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, +while ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing themselves, +become suddenly clear, persuasive, and even eloquent when it comes to +discussing a subject in which they are deeply interested. + +The study of the art of speaking will become, then, for people of +timidity, over and above the mechanical exercises that we have +prescribed in a former chapter, a profound analysis of the subject upon +which they are likely to be called upon to express themselves. + +One should strive to describe things in short sentences as elegantly +phrased as possible. + +When the idea we wish to convey seems to be exprest in a confused +fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a change of phraseology +that will make it more concise and clear. + +But above all--above all, we must pull ourselves up short and begin over +again if any tendency to stammer, to hesitate, or to become confused, +begins to manifest itself. + +Just as soon as one feels more at one's ease one can seek to put in +practise all these special studies. + +Nothing is quite so disconcerting as the idea of stammering or stopping +short. + +For this reason it is imperative that one should begin all over again +the moment such an accident occurs. + +This is what prevents timid people from accomplishing anything. From the +moment of the first failure they become panic-stricken and can no longer +go on speaking connectedly. + +Those who would acquire poise must act quite otherwise. + +Instead of avoiding occasions of speaking in public, they should seek +for them. But first of all they must make some trials upon audiences who +are in sympathy with them. + +They should experiment upon their own families and should never fail to +enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can prepare the matter for a +short address or a friendly argument. + +If they find themselves stammering or panic-stricken, they must strive +to recall the phrase that caused the trouble and endeavor to repeat it +very emphatically without stuttering. + +For the rest, it is always a dangerous thing to talk too fast. Words +that are pronounced more slowly are always much better articulated, and +in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in +talking that attacks those whose education in the direction of the +acquiring of poise is not yet complete. + +One of the most important exercises in the search for poise consists in +accustoming oneself to speak slowly and very distinctly. + +If one stammers in the least degree, especially if this fault is due to +nervousness, one should begin again at the word which caused the +trouble, pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one +should incorporate it in one or two sentences and should not cease to +utter it until one can enunciate it clearly and without any trouble. + +In order to combine theory with practise, one should seek opportunities +for entering public assemblies, striving to do so without awkwardness. + +One should choose the time when the audience is not yet fully arrived, +since, unless one is very sure of oneself, it is a risky matter to +appear upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most +part assembled. By this means one is much more likely to be able to +emerge victorious from the ordeal of the stares of the curious. + +The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet +indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion +but as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he +happens to know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one +the thing that he ought to say. + +If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer +congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence +of mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He +will avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has +fallen out and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of +deformities to a man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while +leaving him free to exercise all his faculties, will give him the +opportunity to remember a thousand details, the performance as well as +the omission of which will create much sympathetic feeling toward him +among the people whom he meets. + +The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the +recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to be +made upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of +the relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person +to whom he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not +infrequently an indication of poise. + + +THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS + +But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe +that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, +that, like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming +them into hurtful indecision. + +The mere thought, "_I will succeed_," is in itself a condition of +success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies +this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am +determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!" + +Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you +must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with +your regrets. + +Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from +this moment I propose to think of it merely to remind myself of the +reasons why I failed. + +"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the +wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of +the same mistakes." + +Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate. + +The words "I have no luck" should be erased altogether from the +vocabulary of the man who proposes to acquire poise. + +It is the excuse in which weaklings and cowards indulge. + +Timid people are always complaining of the injustice of fate, without +stopping to think that they have themselves been the direct causes of +their own failures. + +The violet has often been quoted--and very improperly--as an example of +shrinking modesty which it would be well to imitate. + +It does not in the least trouble the phrase-makers and the followers of +the ideas that they have spread broadcast through the world that the +violet which hides timidly behind its sheltering leaves nearly always +dies unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. +The type that wins the admiration of the world is that, which, +disengaging itself from its leafy shield, springs up with a bound above +its green foliage just as men of poise rise triumphantly above the +accidents and the petty details which bury the timid under their heavy +fronds. + +If one were minded to carry out the comparison properly, it is far more +exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted +to the shade in which they hide for their puny and abortive appearance. + +The timid have then no sort of excuse for complaining of their ill-luck. + +To begin with, it is to their own defects solely that their obscurity is +due. + +Furthermore, by ceaselessly complaining, they gradually become absorbed +by these ideas of ill-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in +their detestation of effort and suggest to them the thought of +attempting nothing upon the absurd pretext that nothing they do can +succeed. + +One must add here--and this is extremely important--that in acting in +this way they always manage to provoke the hostile forces that are +dormant in everything and that array themselves the more readily against +such people because of their lack of the resolution to combat them and +the energy to overcome them. + +This is the reason why people who are gifted with poise find themselves +better qualified than others to succeed. + +Their faith is so beautiful and so convincing that it compels conviction +in others and seems to be able to dominate events. + +It is by no means an illusion to believe in the worth of this +confidence. People to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help +to others, their faith aiding and sustaining that of those who have +resolved to make an effort. + +However strong the soul of man may be, it is nevertheless subject to +hours of discouragement, to moments of despair, in which some comfort +and sympathy are needed. + +The man of resolution will recover from his failures the more easily the +more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosphere +of friendliness which will not allow his defeats to be made public. + +As mists are dispelled at the approach of the sun, the agony of doubt +will disappear in the genial warmth of the encouragement and the +confidence that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those +around him, and a sure faith will be given to him, the certain and +faithful guide to the road that leads onward to success. + + + + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE SUPREME ACHIEVEMENT + + +One must be most careful not to credit oneself with the possession of +poise while one is unable to encounter reverses without loss of +serenity. + +Every setback of this sort must be judged without bias and the proper +measures must be taken to prevent its recurrence. + +Every exuberant gesture, as well as every constrained and abortive +movement, must be the object of redoubled attention. + +This is the stumbling-block that brings so many timid people to grief. +They imagine that they have achieved the conquest of poise, while they +are really only deceiving themselves by the idea that they are giving a +good illustration of it. They become the victims of a peculiar type of +delusion akin to that of the cowards who deliberately invite danger +while trembling in every limb. + +The very fear of being considered cowards causes them to plunge into it +blindly without taking the trouble to reflect. They always overshoot the +mark, exposing themselves quite uselessly and achieving a result that is +entirely valueless to themselves or any one else. + +The man who is really master of himself will avoid such foolish +undertakings, retaining his powers for those that are likely to bear +fruit, whatever the quality of the success may be. + +It is an act of folly to deny the possibility of success because one is +discouraged at the very first obstacle. + +The greatest triumphs are never achieved without a struggle. The man who +obtains them does so only by virtue of the experience gained by repeated +efforts, none of which bore for him the fruit he desired. + +The better is merely a step along the road to the best. + +Perfection is, therefore, the result of many half successes. + +If one could hope to arrive at one stride at one's desired goal one's +efforts would be of no value, and mediocrity would very soon become the +sole characteristic of those who were possest by this idea. The man who +has had the wit to acquire poise will guard himself carefully from +falling into the error of the timid, who, haunted by an unappeased +longing for perfection, lose their courage at the first attempt. + +Does this imply that idealism must be banished from the thoughts of the +man of resolution? + +Not at all, if by the word ideal one understands what it actually means. + +A false meaning has been given to this word which has warped it from its +original sense. + +The ideal is not, as many people seem to think, an impossible dream +indulged in only by poets, and that has no active basis of reality. + +Lazy people abuse this word, which to their minds allows them to indulge +without shame in idle dreams that foster their indolence. + +The timid drape it about themselves like a curtain, behind which they +take refuge and in whose shadow they conceal themselves, thinking by so +doing to keep the vanity which obsesses them from being wounded. + +Devotees of false ideals clothe them too often with the tinsel of fond +illusion, under which guise they make a pretense of worshiping them. + +The true ideal, that which every man can carry in his heart, is +something much more tangible and matter of fact. + +For one it is worldly success. + +For another renown and glory. + +For men of action it is the end for which they strive. + +The ideal which each man should cultivate and strive after need by no +means be a narrow aim. + +It is an aspiration of which the loftiness is in no way affected by the +lowliness of the means employed to realize it. + +This word has too often been misused and exaggerated in the effort to +distort it from its philosophical meaning. + +In every walk of life, no matter how humble, it is possible to follow an +ideal. + +It is not an aim, to speak exactly, but still less is it a dream. It is +an aspiration toward something better that subordinates all our acts to +this one dominant desire. + +Every realization tends to the development of the ideal, which is +increased in beauty by each partial attainment. + +We have just said that the ideal of some men is the acquisition of a +fortune. It might be supposed, therefore, that such people, once they +have become rich, will abandon their aspirations for something more. + +The man who has this idea is very much in the wrong. + +The state of being permanently wealthy is one that opens new horizons, +hitherto closed. The doing of good, charity, the desire to better the +condition of those who still have to struggle, these will constitute a +higher and a no less attractive ideal. + +This does not take into consideration the instinct, innate in every +heart--and that the genius of the race has made a part of every one of +us--the desire of progressing. + +It is this desire that forms the ideal of fathers of families, building +up the futures of their children, in whom they see not only their +immediate successors, but those who are to continue their race, which +they wish to be a strong and virile one, in obedience to the eternal +desire for perpetuating themselves that haunts the hearts of men. + +It is quite evident that each gain has no need of being complete to bear +fruit. The thing to do is to multiply it, to make something more of it, +and to take it home to ourselves, in order to achieve the ultimate +result that is termed success. + +The man of resolution appreciates this fact perfectly, rejoicing in +every victory and taking each defeat as a means for gaining experience +that he will be able to use to his advantage when the occasion arises. + +The man of timidity, on the other hand, haunted by this desire for +perfection, cut off by his very aloofness from all chance of learning +the lesson of events, will be so thoroughly discouraged at the first +check, that he will draw back from any similar experience, preferring to +take refuge in puerile grumbling against the contrariety of things in +general. + +This attitude of mind can not outlast a few minutes of sensible +reflection. + +We wish to convey by the use of this term the idea of a process of +thought quite free from those vague dreams which are the sure +indications of feebleness, reveries in which things appear to us in a +guise which is by no means that which they really possess. + +The main characteristic of this state of mind is to exaggerate one's +disappointments while ignoring one's moments of happiness. + +It approximates very closely to the old fable of the crumpled rose-leaf +breaking the rest of the sybarite on his couch of silk. + +He has no thought of taking satisfaction or pleasure in the luxury that +surrounds him. He does not congratulate himself on his wealth, nor upon +the comforts he possesses and that he values so highly. He thinks of +nothing but the little crumpled petal which causes him imaginary +distress, and all his faculties are absorbed by this petty detail. + +The man of resolve will pay no attention to such trifles as this. They +will touch him not at all unless they assume the role of the grain of +sand in the working-parts of a machine, which prevents it from running. +He is wise enough to be able to estimate a situation sensibly, taking +account of the drawbacks but at the same time realizing all the +advantages that accrue from it. + +At these advantages he will be pleased and will seek to get the maximum +of good out of each one of them. If he thinks of the disadvantages at +all, it will be merely in order to find a way to diminish them and to +rob them of their power to harm him. + +Such are the benefits of reflection and of concentration which, when +practised in a rational manner, will do more than anything else to help +one to the attainment of poise. + +Weak indulgence toward one's own failings will be rejected by the +strong. To know oneself thoroughly is a good way to improve oneself, and +the knowledge that one is not mistaken as to one's actual merits is of +considerable help in acquiring poise. + +It is for this reason that the habit of daily self-examination, that we +recommended in the preceding chapter, develops, in the man who submits +himself to it, faculties of judgment so keen that it is an easy matter +for him to become his own educator in the path to betterment. + +One great disadvantage of lack of proper concentration is that it gives +to the subject one is anxious to study an importance greater than it +really has. + +Passion is too often an accompaniment of this form of reflection, +emotions are aroused, and the nerves become active factors in distorting +the real meanings and value of the things we are considering. + +The remedy in this case is a very simple one. An effort of will, will +readily banish the subject which is causing us too profound emotion by +the simple process of turning the thoughts to some subject that will +cause us no such disturbances. + +Later on, when the emotions of the moment have passed, one can return to +the former train of thought, forcing oneself to examine it with +calmness. + +Some amount of practise will be needed to acquire this mastery of one's +thoughts, the parent of poise, which is nothing more than courage based +upon solid reason. + +It may happen that the desire to follow a line of thought that causes us +excessive emotion may lead to the inroad of a horde of secondary ideas, +which press one upon the other without any perceptible continuity, +carrying with them neither conviction nor illumination. + +Reveries of this sort are dangerous enemies of poise. They lead one +nowhere, and create in us habits which are not controlled by reason or +common sense. + +If such thoughts should assail us, the sole means of avoiding injury +from them is to repulse them instantly, the moment one becomes conscious +of them, and to banish the chaos of scattered fancies by devoting one's +whole mind to a single dominant thought that should be associated with +the determination to obtain the mastery over oneself. + +We have already suggested to the timid the advantage of foreseeing the +objections that are likely to be made to what they may say. The mere +fact that they have already formulated a mental answer will be a great +assistance to the making of a successful retort. + +To avoid still further risks of being confronted by a contradiction that +may put them at a loss they will do well to adopt the following plan. + +Let them put themselves in the place of the person to whom they plan to +speak and then ask themselves if, under these circumstances, they will +not find some objection to offer to the proposition concerned. + +If they discover by this means that, in his place, they would be likely +to find such and such difficulties, it must be with this fact in their +minds that they devote themselves to the better preparation of their +arguments or, if necessary, to modifying the force if not the content of +the reasoning upon which they rely to carry conviction. + +These objections, as we have already advised, should be uttered aloud, +so that we may the better perceive their logic, and also to allow of our +repeating them a second time, the ability to accomplish which will be a +great encouragement to us. + +There is no reason, in fact, for believing that we can not repeat on the +morrow, just as perfectly as we have exprest it to-day, a statement that +we have made with clearness both of reasoning and of diction. + +Contact with men and with affairs should be sought after by the aspirant +for poise. + +He will be the gainer by watching the destruction of his exaggerated +ideas and his false conceptions, which have all arisen from solitary +thought. + +An essential point is to become accustomed to the necessity for action. + +Far from avoiding this, one should seize every occasion to utilize it to +one's advantage. + +The determined student should even create opportunity for so doing, +which, in forcing him to break down his reserve, will make it necessary +for him to come to definite decisions and to carry them out. + +Every chance to exhibit real and honest activity should be seized by +him. + +Between two decisions, equally favorable to him, of which one will leave +him to his peaceful retirement and the other will involve active +measures, he should not hesitate for a moment. + +He will make choice of that which will compel him to exhibit physical +activity. + +It is, however, important that manifestation of purposeless energy +should be rigidly represt. They are always harmful to one's equilibrium +and to the qualities needed for the attainment of poise. + +One should never forget the well-known proverb: + +"Speech is silver, but silence is golden." + +Silence, in a vast number of instances, is the indisputable proof of the +empire that one has over oneself. + +To be able to keep quiet and to close one's lips until the moment when +reflection has enabled us to discipline our too-violent emotions, is a +quality that belongs only to those who have obtained the mastery over +themselves. + +The weak become excited, indulge in protests, and expend themselves in +angry denunciations that use up the energy they should retain for active +measures. + +The man of resolution is most careful not to allow it to be known at +what point he has been wounded. He keeps silence and reflects. + +Resolves form within his mind and, when he at last is ready to speak, it +is to utter some firm decision or to put forward arguments that are +unanswerable. + +To tell the truth, those who instantly and noisily voice their +antagonisms, who, under the sting of a hurt to their vanity indulge in +threats of violence, are actually dangerous. + +Their accusations, dictated by anger and heightened by the sense of +their own inferiority, are always characterized by impotence. + +They make people smile, provoke perhaps a little pity, but never cause +any fear. + +They are like the toy guns of children, which have the air of being most +deadly weapons, but which are constructed of such fragile materials that +a vigorous blow will cause them to fall to pieces. + +The self-control of the man of resolution in the face of insult and +provocation is far more impressive than these idle threats. + +His silence is ominous. It is a sort of mechanical calm which produces +decisions from which all passion is excluded. + +His answers, well thought out and adapted exactly to the circumstances +of the case, impress one by their coldness and by their tone of +finality. His words are always followed by deeds, and are the more +weighty for the fact that one knows that they are merely preliminary to +the actions that they foretell. + +This is one of the marked advantages of those who possess poise, one of +various methods of conquering and dominating the minds of others. + +There are other strong points belonging to those who cultivate poise, +which, judiciously employed, unite in giving them an incontestable +superiority over the majority of the people they meet. + +The man of poise will not be overgay or too boisterous. Still less will +he be taciturn. Moody people are nearly always those who are convinced +of their own lack of ability and quite certain that the rest of the +world is in a conspiracy to make them miserable. + +They lack all pride and make no bones about admitting themselves to be +defeated. + +These, we must admit, are rather difficult conditions in which to effect +anything worth while. + +In "Timidity: How to Overcome It," M.B. Dangennes tells us that one day +a party of men agreed to undertake a journey, the object of which was to +attain a most wonderful country. + +"There were a great many of them at the start, but only a few days had +passed when their ranks became sensibly depleted. + +"Certain members of the party, the timid ones, who were encumbered with +a load of useless scruples, soon succumbed to the weight of their +burdens. + +"Others, the fearful ones, became panic-stricken at the difficulties +they encountered in battling with the earlier stages of the journey. + +"The modest, after several days' marching, fell to the rear, from fear +of attracting too much attention, and were very soon lost sight of. + +"The careless, wearied by their efforts, took to resting in the ditches +along the road, and ate all their store of provisions for the journey +without worrying at all about the time when they might be hungry. + +"The braggarts and the boasters, after exhibiting a temporary +enthusiasm, gave out at the first dangers encountered on the march. + +"The curious, instead of striving to maintain the courage of those who +walked at the head of the column, kept leading them into difficulties, +in which many of the foremost were lost. + +"The rash were greatly reduced in numbers by their own foolhardiness. + +"The final result was that only a handful of men, after many weary days +and nights, reached the Eden that they had set out to attain. + +"These men were disciples of energy, those to whom this virtue had given +courage, ambition, the self-control and the self-mastery needed to +vanquish and overcome the perils of the way; those who, by their cool +and courageous bearing, had been able to impress upon their companions, +now become their disciples, the indomitable hardihood with which they +were themselves filled." + +We see in this fable how all the qualities of poise worked together for +the accomplishment of the destined end. + +First courage, which must not be confounded either with rashness or with +effrontery. + +Courage, the perfect manifestation of confidence in oneself. + +This quality is at the bottom of all great enterprises, of which all the +risks, however, have been carefully considered in advance. + +The man of courage does not deceive himself as to the dangers of the +deeds he has determined to perform. He accepts them bravely. He has +foreseen them all, and he knows how to act in order to turn them to his +own advantage. + +The coolness characteristic of all men of poise gives them the power of +estimating wisely how things are likely to turn out. + +They do not fail to appreciate the importance of certain circumstances, +to realize their bearing, and to admit the dangers to which they may +give rise. Thus they are ready for the fray and are armed at all points +for a well-considered defense. + +Shame on the superficial people who close their eyes in order not to see +the obstacles that their own lack of foresight has prevented them from +anticipating. + +Let us press back the timid; declare war on the boasters; show our +contempt for the inveterately modest (who are only so to flatter their +own vanity); express our hatred of the envious, who are always +incapable; distrust the slothful; and arm ourselves with a justifiable +pride, which, by imparting to us a sense of our merits, will enable us +to acquire poise, true index of those who are legitimately sure of +themselves and are conscious of their sterling worth. + +But, above all, let us raise in our inmost hearts a temple to reason, +the author of that quiet confidence that makes success a certainty. + +This is the work of the man who has achieved the conquest of poise. It +is the one particular evidence of this priceless quality. + +Poise, by inspiring its possessor with a belief in his merits, that is +productive of good resolutions, enables him to employ in relation to +himself the fine art of absolutely sincere reasoning. + +There are, as is well-known, many ways of looking at things. + +Every thing has several sides and, in accordance with the angle at which +we examine it, seems to us more or less favorable. + +The superficial man only sees things, and only _wants_ to see them, from +the viewpoint of his own desires. + +To the morose man all their contours appear distorted. + +The optimist, on the contrary, carefully changes their outlines. + +Only to the man who makes a practise of rational thinking comes a true +vision of both the good and the bad that exist in everything. + +This science of reasoning is the base of all deductive processes, that, +in strengthening the judgment, aid in the formation of poise. + +Without reason the scaffolding of the most splendid resolves falls to +the ground. + +Without reason we wander aimlessly in bypaths instead of following the +broad highway. + +Without reason, in short, we become guilty of injustice, not only toward +others, but still more toward ourselves, since we can not form a correct +estimate of our own characters. + +It is reason which enables us to choose the happy mean that leaves the +country of fear to reach the goal of reserve, and follows it to the +extreme limit of poise without ever encroaching upon the territory of +effrontery. + +It is poise alone that enables us to communicate to others the qualities +which we possess. + +This has ever been the gift of men of genius, of those who could enforce +their doctrines and impose them upon others by the sheer strength of +their attitude and the way in which they analyzed and reasoned out all +their principles. + +What conviction can he hope to carry to his hearers who is not himself +persuaded of the truth of the theories he is presenting? + +This is the condition of those timid people who give their advice in the +same tone they would use to ask it. + +For this reason they never become expert. They rarely ever taste of +success and usually sink into a state of discontent and envy. + +This last fault is nearly always indulged in by the timid, whom it +soothes, not simply because of its maliciousness, but because envy seems +to them to condone their own inertia by giving them an excuse for their +lack of action. + +For people of mediocre mentality to deny the intelligence of others is +to bring them down into their own plane and saves them the effort of +climbing to that of their superiors. + +And since lack of sincerity toward themselves is always one of the +faults of those who are wanting in poise, they can not help feeling a +sentiment of jealousy toward those who have succeeded where they +themselves have failed. + +Instead of doing justice without bitterness to the superiority of others +by a determination to imitate it, they take the simpler course of +envying the good fortune of their neighbors and attribute it all to +luck. + +Whenever you hear any one expatiating upon what he calls the luck of +some one else, you may be sure that he is a person entirely deficient in +those qualities which could attract what he calls luck, but what is +really, in the majority of cases, merely the result of hard work based +upon a reasoned poise. + +Here we may add that this quality is often the key to good fortune, +since it permits the head of a family, who is possest of it to establish +about him sympathetic currents, based upon the confidence that he +inspires. + +It is a matter of common knowledge how courage communicates itself from +one to another. + +The man who dreads the idea of doing something will attempt it without +hesitation if he finds himself supported by some one who seems to have +no doubt as to the happy outcome of the enterprise. + +It is, therefore, most essential, in order to exercise a beneficent +influence upon his household, that the head of a family should be +possest of poise, which will awaken in them a sense of protection, while +at the same time making them aware of a kindly authority. + +It must not be inferred from this that every head of a family should +pose as being infallible. + +This would be a most foolish proceeding on his part. It would often +happen that circumstances, by proving his predictions untrue, would +destroy the faith in him that those in his household must possess. + +It is only the presumptuous and the egotistical who pride themselves on +their infallibility, as we have pointed out at length in preceding +chapters. + +The man of real poise will be more than careful not to pose as a +prophet, still less as an autocrat. + +He will study to establish about him an atmosphere of confidence suited +to the development and the strengthening of the bonds which unite him to +those of his household. + +Nothing is more touching than the blind faith shown by some children +toward their parents. + +People of timidity will never arouse a feeling of this sort. + +However real the affection of children may be for such parents, there +will always be mingled with it a modicum of indulgent pity, caused by +their distrust, if the parents happen to be people of timidity, of what +seem to them mediocre abilities. + +They will feel themselves more willingly attracted toward a stranger, if +his attitude toward life appears to be one that may support and assist +their weakness. Their affection for their parents will be in no way +diminished, but they will cease to regard them as being vitally +necessary to the harmony of their existence. + +This lack of trust that timidity occasions can result in very serious +misfortunes. + +In driving a child who seeks for some firm guidance to appeal to others +than his natural protectors, there is always the risk of his following a +method of education that is basically opposed to all the traditions of +the family. + +How many children are thrown in this way upon the tender mercies of a +teacher whose views of life, albeit perfectly honorable, are quite +opposed to the plans of the parents. + +Such people, instead of complaining of the conduct of the teacher and +crying out about the leading astray of their child, would do better to +question themselves and to ask their own hearts whether their children +have ever found in them the protection that is being given them by +others. + +We do not want to overwork the old fable of the oak and the ivy. +Nevertheless, it is to the point to remark that this plant attaches +itself to none but the most solid trunks, disdaining the Weaker saplings +that will bend beneath its weight and will, after a little while, force +it to return to the ground instead of helping it to climb into the air. + +The man endowed with poise plays in his own family the role of the oak +which lends the strength of its trunk as an aid to weakness, covering +with the shadow of its branches the feeble efforts that too hot a sun or +too violent a storm might easily bring to nothing. + +And if the storm should break it is the crest that it presents with +pride to the fury of the elements that will keep it from being itself +destroyed. + +It must also be remembered that the instinct of the Ego flourishes in +every one of us, often quite unconsciously, but always with sufficient +force to make it certain that this ego will be developed in the +direction in which it sees chances of support. + +We are not speaking here of mere egoism, which is a species of +acknowledgment of weakness that very young children are incapable of +making to themselves, but which those who are older will try to avoid. + +But there is no one, even among the most strong, who has not felt at +some time in his life the joy of finding counsel, moral support, or +protection, if only in the form of a hearty and energetic agreement with +his ideas. + +One can not wonder, therefore, that people of poise are able to draw to +themselves sympathies and devotion of which the timid are entirely +ignorant. + +We should add that poise, in giving one ease, imparts to the slightest +gesture a fittingness that constitutes a special grace, that one can not +always define, but where appearance can never be mistaken. + +It might be termed distinction. + +People of poise, whether they be homely or handsome, insignificant or +imposing, sickly or radiating health, all possess this enviable gift in +a marked degree. + +Distinction is the parent of victory. + +It conquers, for those who possess it, the greater part of their +adversaries, who lay down their arms without dreaming of offering +battle. + +Distinction impresses every one, both those who are deprived of it and +those who are possest of it. + +It is the most direct means of influencing others in the direction one +wishes them to take. + +It is hardly necessary for us to restate here that there must be no +harmful influence in all this, no abuse of power. + +Distinction is only efficacious and only possesses its proper force when +it is the outcome of the qualities we have been endeavoring to inculcate +in this book. + +False distinction, that which is based upon effrontery, is like those +mirages of the desert whose appearance troubles the traveler. + +At first he rejoices at seeing before him a countryside that seems like +his hoped-for goal, but as he presses forward the picture fades away +little by little and he perceives that he has been the victim of an +empty dream. This is invariably what happens when what appears to be +distinction is founded merely upon bravado and bluff. + +The credulous, who are at first deceived by the illusion, very soon +arrive at the point where they perceive their error, and, with the +dissipation of the mirage, comes the contempt of the person who has thus +made them take him seriously. They do not find it an easy matter to +forgive him for having made dupes of them and their anger increases with +the hurt to their wounded pride. + +Those people, on the other hand, who possess that distinction that comes +from the qualities inherent in poise, are sure of being able to preserve +it untarnished, because their influence will never be enfeebled by +disappointments they may cause in others. + +If they are ever conquered for a moment, it is never because of weakness +or lack of character. + +Their defeat can never in any case be considered as decisive. Their +energy will cause them to face the battle anew, armed by the very +defeats of the past, and rendered invincible by their cool +determination. + +The mere habit of fighting tempers their souls and makes them strong, +while the recollection of past reverses makes them more wary and more +keen to take advantage of the lessons to be learned from events. + +Thus they will not be slow in exacting that revenge from fate which will +renew the confidence of all their friends. + +They are a power, and under this title they receive the homage of all. +Their existence is held to be a vital thing by all those who would stay +their own weaknesses upon their strength. + +Their assistance may not always be effective, but it has the air of +being so, and those who are afraid of failure are always anxious to have +near at hand a force upon which they can rely to keep them from defeat. + +Every one who has helped to teach a child to walk has noticed that when +its mother remains beside it and holds it up by the imaginary support of +her hand, it steps out with confidence. + +If she should go several paces ahead, the child, left to itself, and +overcome by the fear caused by the withdrawal of her protection, which +he really does not need, hesitates, stumbles, and presently falls down. + +Men who are endowed with poise are not only appreciated by the weak of +spirit, they are also esteemed and valued by those who possess qualities +similar to their own. Such people are glad to meet a fortitude that +approximates to theirs. + +They are infinitely better fitted than others to escape the pitfalls +with which the journey of life is strewn. If, in spite of everything, +misfortune should attack them, they will meet it so bravely and will +combat it with weapons of such unusual temper that it will hasten to +beat a retreat in order to knock at the door of some timid soul, who +will yield to it without a struggle and will allow it to take possession +of him without a murmur. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POISE: HOW TO ATTAIN IT*** + + +******* This file should be named 13877.txt or 13877.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/8/7/13877 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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